Don't Worry It's Confidential: Recent Episodes
Makena Arntsen
Join professional listener, and amateur advice taker, Makena (she/her), as she engages in thought-provoking discussions with her best friends. Each week, a new anonymous guest will be brought on to explore topics ranging from mental health, social issues, holistic well-being and so much more.
As a social worker, therapist, friend, and most importantly human, Makena hopes that you will feel understood, inspired and supported while you listen.
And of course Don’t Worry, It’s Confidential.
For the season finale, we’re going back to basics. It’s just you and me.
In a Q&A full of questions you asked me on Instagram, I reflect on the many lessons I learned this year. I discuss New Years resolutions (which, shocker, I’m not against) and my thoughts on the importance of intention behind goal setting to experience growth rather than setting goals out of fear. Accountability is a big part of goal setting, a lesson we often learn when we’ve dropped the ball and missed the chance at crossing something off our list.
I express how in the past diet culture often shaped my New Years resolutions and influenced my goals and how in recent years I’ve questioned that in myself and tried to move away from looks-focused goal setting to improve my mental health and self image.
For many of us, the holidays can be triggering, or put undue stress on our mental health. If the holidays and time with family aren’t a comfort to you, then the strategies I share to get through it might help.
Solo episodes like this one are an opportunity for me to give insights and advice based off personal experience as well as those of friends, family, and clients - something I rarely do in an effort to remain impartial and objective. All of this to say, I’m not always right. I hope that you take what you need from this episode, and feel empowered to leave what you don’t.
Until next year…
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: info@makenaarntsen.com
Website: makenaarntsen.com
Getting into a serious relationship is a big choice at any age, but committing to love someone forever when you’re young comes with unique challenges.
In honor of cuffing season, today I’m talking with one of my favorite couples about how they’ve managed to maintain their eight year long relationship through many different life stages.
They share where their love story began, the ways that it’s changed along with each of their lives, and the lessons they learned along the way. By retelling stories of living through long distance and differing experiences of transitioning to adulthood, they offer us their best advice on how to grow closer: focus on communication and invest in learning each other's love languages.
When you’re still figuring out who you are, balancing your individuality, your friendships, your multiplying responsibilities, and your relationship can be difficult. We talk through some of the ways that they’ve overcome challenges (ie. dating someone with a different religious background or wanting to prioritize career) and how humor is sometimes the best path towards mutual understanding.
If you’re teetering the line of whether or not to commit, getting to hear how their relationship helped them learn about themselves and their personal goals in life might provide you with the optimism you need to fare forward.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: info@makenaarntsen.com
Website: makenaarntsen.com
Fear’s a funny thing.
For some, it paralyzes and turns us inward. For others, it pushes us and forces us out of our comfort zones. Today’s guest vulnerably shares when and where intense fear has come up in her life, how she handled it, and the lessons she’s learned from it.
From immigrating to a new country to parenthood, we discuss the different factors that influence feelings of fear, and at times it can show us what we really care about, really need to work on, or really need to get some perspective on.
We talk career as my guest shares her experience with switching career paths later in life and how although she was fearful of the outcome of the change, she viewed each step in her path to where she is now as connected and crucial to refining and evolving her purpose.
Above all, my favorite part of our discussion was our focus on fears associated with aging - the physical effects of it, and the temporal expectations that it brings. My guest offered the encouraging and optimistic perspective that aging is beautiful because it’s constantly offering a new perspective.
One major learning we unpacked is that fear has a deep connection with judgment. As such, it can be a useful indicator of what judgment we need to let go of and where we need to work on accepting ourselves.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: info@makenaarntsen.com
Website: makenaarntsen.com
Something I hear often from clients is that they have a hard time sharing what’s going on in their heads and hearts with those closest to them without feeling like a burden.
This week’s episode is all about how difficult it can be to open up to the people we love, and what strategies we can employ to take the pressure off and let people in. My guest and I discuss the different factors that hold us back from sharing, whether it be family values, fear of judgment, or fear of being misunderstood. She shares how she’s worked to confront these fears, giving us the tools to do the same.
We discuss the importance of introspection and self evaluation to be able to know what kind of support you’re looking for. This helps us distinguish what advice is aligned with our wants and needs, as well as helping the person we’re sharing with have a better idea of our expectations of their support.
It’s a deep episode, and one that I hope you’ll listen to and take something from, whether it’s the benefits of sharing, how to be a good listener to someone who needs an ear, or knowing when you can’t match the level of support that someone needs from you because of your own circumstances.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: info@makenaarntsen.com
Website: makenaarntsen.co
You know what they say: comparison is the thief of joy.
Today’s episode is all about the myriad of emotions that come up when we compare ourselves to others. Whether it’s feeling different or less than, or doubting our choices or even worse, our selves, comparison has only gotten more difficult to avoid since the age of social media began.
My guest is no stranger to asking herself the questions, “Would I be happier if I lived there?”, or, “Would I feel more fulfilled if I had that job?”, or, “If my life looked like that, would all my problems go away?”. In this episode, we chat through the moments that these intrusive thoughts have invaded, and how to best challenge their convincing nature.
At a time when lots of our peers are moving to new cities for jobs or relationships, staying put can sometimes feel like you’re falling behind. We discuss how mindset and prioritizing our gut feelings is more important for deciding how happy we are than our coordinates.
If you feel like everyone in your life seems to have amazing things happening to them and you’re “still figuring things out”, then this episode is for you.
Whether it’s relationships, where you should live, career, or personal development, this episode helps remind us that desire for something different or constant comparisons can really be about looking inward and asking what we need in the moment to cope with stressors.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: info@makenaarntsen.com
Website: makenaarntsen.com
Today’s episode stars a guest who has ample experience speaking vulnerably about her mental health. As a former Youtuber and influencer @annikaboron always prioritized being honest about how her mental health impacted her quality of life. Today we discuss her experience with anxiety, depressiona, BPD and OCD, as well as the many ups and downs she’s faced along the way. We learn the lessons she did the hard way, and the tips she’s developed throughout her life to support herself.
We can all understand the negative effects of social media on our self perception. For Annika, the hate comments and bullying she faced lead her to setting health boundaries to help herself cope. Notably, she doesn’t sugar coat the difficult moments she’s faced - she speaks on how she’s developed narratives and routines that help her instead of bring her down. Her most empowering example of this? Taking the traumatic experience of getting her nudes leaked and turning it into a business that stands for women's rights and desexualizes the female body.
This episode is about social media, mental health, and bullying, but it’s also about turning shame on its head. After all, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Follow Annika: @annikaboron
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: info@makenaarntsen.com
Website: makenaarntsen.com
Now that cuffing season has commenced, I wanted to do a solo episode to talk about the value of being single. I speak about how earlier in my life being single felt like something to be ashamed of.
In this episode, we’re flipping that shame on its head.
My journey to learning how much of a gift being single is wasn’t a short one- I recap the social factors and personal aspects for me that made being in a relationship the most important thing in the world. Obviously, my perspective has changed over time. I came to realize all of the positive changes in my confidence, self-esteem, friendships and romantic relationships.
In therapy, one of the most helpful and important things you can do is find a name for your feelings. Hopefully this episode will do that for you, push you to challenge its hold on your heart, and finally make you able to enjoy whatever phase of life you’re in.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: info@makenaarntsen.com
Website: makenaarntsen.com
With outside becoming a little less cozier than inside, I’m looking for some encouragement to enjoy the outdoors year-round. If you’re in the same boat, then you’re going to love today’s conversation.
This week’s guest has dedicated his life to helping people experience the positive effects of nature. His story begins with a departure from city life to pursue a career in leading treks on some of the world’s biggest mountains and most beautiful bodies of water.
After learning a little about his career and what pushed him to continue pursuing such an untraditional path, we dug into some of his learnings from his travels, and from watching people experience nature with vulnerability.
Through his stories, we learn about the importance of leaving your comfort zone, and using silence to better understand yourself and others. We also touch on the modern tendency to have salary and productivity be tied to your identity, and how when everything is stripped away, you might just realize that those things aren’t as important as they seem.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: info@makenaarntsen.com
Website: makenaarntsen.com
The shift in seasons always feels like the right time to welcome a new perspective - change is all around us and we must welcome it.
This week’s episode touches on a lot: intuition, manifestation, spirituality, and skepticism, to name a few. Today’s guest, @jem, is a friend that I was drawn to because of her disarming openness to what the universe has to offer and her trust in her own intuition when it comes to her direction.
We discuss her story and learn how she harnessed her intuitive skills, along with lessons about the transformative powers of travel, how to embrace darkness for the period it takes to you work through it, and growing comfortable with silence. One of my favorite topics was manifestation- @jem shares her tips on how to start, the do’s and dont’s, and the potential of our positive thoughts. We take a balanced approach and address skepticism and the reasons why people resist spirituality, sacrificing the opportunities that their intuition might provide.
Jem info: @artofjempress, sinscerelyjerema@gmail.com Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: info@makenaarntsen.com
Website: makenaarntsen.co
Today we’re looking fear in the face and taking away its power. Today’s big bad wolf? Failure.
One of life’s inevitable experiences, failure can be something that carries so much shame and negative self perception, but it doesn’t have to. In this episode, we share our experiences with “failure” and my guest shares about a time in her life when she felt like she wasn’t succeeding at anything, and how that hard time taught her her new favorite coping tool: mindset shifting. This tool was what pulled her out of a negative spiral, and into a phase of growth and happiness that persists to this day.
Throughout the episode, we dismantle the shame around failure, acknowledge its root, and help each other reframe our shame to turn each roadblock we’ve faced into a lesson. We cover failure in career, romantic relationships, and life plans, all the while emphasizing how important humour is in tough times.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: info@makenaarntsen.com
Website: makenaarntsen.com
We’re back with another identity disclosed episode. Today we are hearing from Julia Gallay (@gallzprovisions) a Toronto based baker. Over the last two years, her micro bakery has blown up- local businesses, influencers, and big brands have started to take notice of her beautiful and delicious cakes, which she makes and decorates entirely on her own.
If you’re an aspiring entrepreneur, or if you are thinking about trying your hand at a creative side hustle, this episode is essential homework. Julia tells us the whole story: how she got started, what steps she took to make it her full time job, and all of the myriad of stressors and emotions that come with this sort of leap, including imposter syndrome and confidence. Although she found success quite quickly in this endeavor she vulnerably discusses all the unseen work she did on herself before while facing depression, an eating disorder and her parents divorce.
Owning your own business is personal - we discuss all of the ways you can be intimately linked to it, and the importance of creating boundaries so that you can remain just that- a person.
Gallz Provisions info:
@gallzprovisions
https://www.gallzprovisions.com/?fbclid=PAAaaF5caN4K1W7So9XS5-9zkLRtvfRQ7yupJzeYyVTt2k9ydoJuyxqJypCg8
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: info@makenaarntsen.com
Website: makenaarntsen.com
Lately, I’ve had a lot of conversations with friends, clients, and myself, about all of us not feeling like we’re enough.
Today, I rant into the wind about how this belief forms for a lot of us as early as childhood, is reinforced throughout our adolescence, and weaves its way into many corners of our adult lives making it difficult to quit thinking this way. I make sure to note on how capitalism is a driver of this for many of us, and how important it is to question it and it’s potential triggers.
Throughout the episode I discuss several areas in life where it’s normal for these feelings to pop up- career, relationships, family, and even in your expectations for yourself. In the hopes that you feel empowered to do the same, I share tips on ways I’ve challenged the assumption that I’m not enough, and give you permission to question it yourself.
My wish is that when I tell you are enough just the way you are, you feel inspired to adopt this perspective. It might not happen today, and it might not happen tomorrow, but everyone deserves to feel the peace that comes with believing that you are more than enough.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
“This is a man's world, this is a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl” - James Brown
On today’s episode, we’re talking about toxic masculinity. This newly named cultural pillar upholds the notion that the idea of “manliness” perpetuates domination, homophobia, and aggression.
Today’s guest has been working in the professional sports industry for the last seven years, and shares his experiences observing, participating in, and calling out toxic masculinity.
Throughout the episode, he describes some of the more common occurrences where toxic masculinity takes over in the sports world- from an inability to discuss mental health to a direct rejection of any player who steps outside of tradition. He recognizes that while improvements have been made in the last few years, there is still plenty of work to do.
Later, we unpack some of his own experiences as a man and discuss both his internal beliefs and the culture of his friend group. He vulnerably shares how difficult challenging certain biases and traditions can be, and together we identify ways that he can affect change through holding himself and his peers more accountable.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
This week I’m joined by my second non-anonymous guest, @journeytonatropathy, to deep dive into female health.
As a recent naturopathic medical school graduate and sexual health educator, Jess uses her platform to reduce shame and empower people to get to the route of their sexual health issues.
From a holistic lens, we speak on the connection between mental and physical health as it relates to arousal and desire, how hormones affect our mental health, and how birth control can affect our sex lives.
Jess gets vulnerable about her experience with PCOS, and provides practical tips on how to deal with pain during sex, starting with breaking down the common causes of pain, to when to include your doctor for pain management or treatment.
Importantly, we bring an intersectional lens to our discussion and talk about the importance of diversity and inclusion when discussing sexual health.
Find more from Jess below:
Jess’s website: www.jessicanazareth.com
Jess’s Workbook: pleasuremindsetguide.com
Jess’s Instagram: @journeytonaturopathy
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
As I’m sure you could imagine, in my line of work, the opportunities for self reflection are never ending.
Today’s guest is a colleague and a friend, who chats with me all about our experiences so far as young therapists. Throughout the episode, we identify the paradoxes, dichotomies, and stressors of our jobs that are sometimes overwhelming.
As professional listeners, emotion processors, and advice givers, we both admit to struggling with practicing what we preach. Setting boundaries, practicing self care, and overcoming limiting beliefs sometimes still requires as much discipline and internal work for us as they do for our clients, so we share our strategies for maintaining these, while also normalizing how nuanced and difficult it can be to do so.
We spend a lot of time talking through the high stakes of our jobs and how common burnout is amongst our peers. We therapize each other on how to best handle waves of emotion that come up associated with the subject matter of our work, and at the end of the episode, we answer some questions you asked us on Instagram about therapy.
Even though this episode is centered around our careers as therapists, the advice we share and strategies we teach throughout could be helpful to anyone seeking better work-life balance.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
Being in your 20’s is weird because some of your friends are solo backpacking in Vietnam while others are married and some are unemployed while others are making 3x what you do… It’s a whirlwind.
Today, we’re talking about one of the major milestones that most people expect to experience in their 20’s: moving in with a partner.
My guest has been living with her long-term boyfriend for three years now, and doesn’t hold back when sharing what she’s learned since they made the decision to move in together.
She recalls the conversations they had (and didn’t have) before they leaped into a lease together, and laughs about the discoveries they made about each other and their relationship after upping the quality time to all day, everyday.
She unpacks some of the more difficult things that arose from them living together, in an effort to help you avoid them when possible, but she also shares how most of the difficult things ended up bringing them closer together.
We talk about navigating FOMO with friends at different stages, managing finances with a significant other, how to support each other in hard times, and so much more.
Whether you’re thinking of moving in with a SO, or roommates, or you’re just looking to improve your relationships, this episode is full of value.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
Today’s guest is no stranger to self discovery.
From a young age, she was very aware of the differences between her and her peers, she faced issues with her self esteem and academic confidence that affected her into adulthood. Together, we unpack her experience to disarm the shame that it created for her growing up and discuss how her diagnosis of ADHD and dyslexia changed the course of her life, in tandem with her anxiety and her experience with loss, grief and depression.
Because of her academic challenges growing up, she ended up pursuing a career as a teacher to help support kids like her by utilizing her first hand experiences and the knowledge she’s compiled since her diagnosis to set them up for success. The way she sees it, the education system is changing to not only accommodate different learning styles, but to celebrate them.
Throughout the episode she drops some amazing insights she learned in therapy and emphasizes that there is no finish line when it comes to working on your mental health or learning challenges.
With unique life and career experiences under her belt, she argues the importance of adopting a growth mindset in order to achieve self-acceptance in the hopes to help you recognize your strengths to hack your mental health and society’s depiction of success.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
As my summer calendar begins to fill up, I’m craving balance more than anything... but it’s easier said than done.
Today, it’s just us. I dig into why balance is so essential, how to reframe your mindset to make it achievable, and tips on how to maintain it.
Through sharing my own struggles with an unbalanced lifestyle, as well as what I’ve learned through working with clients on the issue, I unpack balance’s fluidity to expose the good sides of the struggle that it takes to find it. Remember, it’s a journey, not a destination, and the things you learn on the way will change where you’re headed.
Other highlights include tips for hacking the societal pressure to be productive, managing expectations, breeding self compassion, and normalizing the shame that comes from feeling out of balance.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
We’re trying something new:
This week, my guest isn’t anonymous.
Mia (@miukidelapipol) is a body diversity activist, who joins me to talk all things body positivity, cultural influence on body confidence, and the effects of social media on beauty standards. Mia shares her experience growing up in Buenos Aires, where thinness is the number one beauty standard. As she grew up and was exposed to different cultures she began to question whether or not reaching the beauty standard would actually make her happy.
Today, she uses her platform to normalize and celebrate all body types. Together we give tips to heal from negative thoughts about our bodies imposed upon us by society, and discuss how social media can be both a powerful tool for managing our influences, but that it also must always be questioned.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
One of the hardest things about getting older is that death becomes more common, and loss becomes more affective. It can make you sour to the world & to the people who are living in it unbridled by the reality of death.
Today’s episode is about grief: the sadness, the perspective and the growth that comes from experiencing it.
My guest is not a stranger to loss. By unpacking his personal experiences grieving some of the most important people in his life, he shares how he processes and copes with the different emotions that death stirs.
We discuss how greatly loss has changed his perspective on life, advice for those who are going through something similar now, and how to best support a loved one going through it as well.
Even though sadness is a welcome emotion in grief, this is not a sad chat. It’s a chat about one of the most important parts of life: the end of it.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
Do you ever feel like you’re falling behind the rest of your friends? Or that you aren’t reaching the milestones that you thought you would by now when you were growing up, whether they be career, relationship, or family focused?
Today’s episode is all about the looming pressure of a young woman’s timeline.
We acknowledge the reality of our biological clocks, and speak to the added social pressures that bolster life’s “to do list”, including the societal pressure to have a partner. We discuss how dating culture changes as we get older, we
commiserate about how overwhelming it can feel to have different priorities than our peers, and we brainstorm about how to quiet our inner critics as well as external pressures to keep up with unrealistic, unequal, and unnecessary deadlines.
Hopefully, you can laugh with us as we try to make ourselves feel better about the inevitable anxieties that arise while navigating our 20’s.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
Today’s guest is no stranger to the corporate world, the dark side of which we laugh at in memes and in relatable tikoks as of late. Today, we’re shown the bright side of the challenge that it can sometimes present.
We speak about pressure, rejection, switching jobs, and being too hard on yourself.He shares many tips about how to keep himself on track and how he continues to find the passion and drive to continue growing as well as practical job interview tips for your opportunity.
From my guest, I’ve learned how to focus, work hard, and believe in myself. By listening, I hope you learn the same things, and are inspired to take a long hard look at your career and consider what it would take to make it better.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
Are you curious about therapy?
This week, we dive into all of your questions from my Instagram Q&A about therapy. How to find the right therapist, how to be sure that they’re a good fit, and even how to be motivated to try again after you’ve had a bad experience.
By telling you about my own experience becoming a therapist, and how I manage to stay grounded despite really difficult sessions, I hope that any anxiety you have about opening up to someone like me is squashed.
If you’re not quite there yet, perhaps you’ll find the tactics I use in my sessions helpful when it comes to managing your own emotions.
Either way, I hope that my stories motivate you to take your happiness into your own hands.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
We’re all seeking to better understand ourselves and the people around us.
Whether or not you believe in astrology’s strong determination about your fate, welcoming another lens to our universes can only do us good.
Today’s guest shares her experience of being at several crossroads. Family obligation, societal expectations, and her own self image were pulling her in different directions, and astrology became a helpful tool to gain clarity in her own life while learning to have more empathy for others.
While we talk, she shares valuable insights into questioning what's conventional as well as some astrological knowledge that could benefit anyone looking for more clarity.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
We’re back baby!
In the first episode of season two my guest and I reflect on our nearly 20 years of friendships. We speak about dynamics in friend groups, conflicts and laugh as we chat about the ups and downs we’ve been through. We also give some advice in making new and lasting friendships. We share about the moments we felt insecure and struggled with friendship and how we were able to move past those tougher times. Importantly, we give our tips on how to feel connected even in the moments when you’re feeling lonely.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
The end of season one is here! This episode is just me and you - and we’re celebrating everything that was season one. I spend some time reflecting on this experience for me. I share a little segment on something I like to call “send it method” - which is basically a motivational speech telling you to go for it! I also answer some questions from a Q&A that I did on my instagram. Through these questions you’ll get to know me a bit better as well as get some tips on confidence, morning routines and so much more. I’ll miss you all but don’t worry season two is just around the corner ;)
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
Throughout the last two years, much thought has been paid to how imbalanced privilege is in every part of life, and a lot of our eyes have been opened to see the predominance of systems of oppression built into our world.
Today, my guest gets personal about her individual experiences with racism in an effort to share just how big of an impact systems and individual expressions of ignorance or hate have had on her self perception and her mental health.
We discuss anti-Asian racism in the context of the pandemic and how scary it was for her. She shares her knowledge on Japanese internment camps, dating and racism and explains the layers of privilege that exist within it. She offers her personal experience and her knowledge as a therapist to give practical tips on how to cope with the heaviness of all this.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
With our whole lives ahead of us, it can feel like there’s a lot of pressure to know what our dreams are made of, and know what our purpose in life is early on.
Reassuring ourselves that with time will come confidence in who we’re supposed to be is a healthy way to navigate the pressure, but it turns out that having a life’s purpose is one of the biggest predictors of happiness. While giving ourselves space to find it is important, so is not avoiding the search. Today, my guest and I talk about our own relationships with finding our life’s purpose, and get deep unpacking the distractions and confusions caused by society and our own egos.
Rest assured that we talk through some strategies for wayfinding, knowing where to start, and above all else, remind you that you’re not alone in feeling lost on your journey. Here’s hoping that this episode inspires you to start thinking about what your why might be.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
This week, I turned 25.
Every year on my birthday, I’m partial to setting aside time for self-reflection, goal setting, and gratitude. This year, you’re being let in on my session, along with two very important players in my past, present & future: my mom and dad.
In honor of a special week, and my very special guests, we’re switching up the format of the episode ever so slightly to do a Q&A. With wisdom, comes answers, and so that’s exactly what I asked of my parents. They delivered on all things parenting, coming of age, growing old, mental health, and relationships. You’ll get to know me a little bit better through hearing their answers, and even get to hear some of their predictions for my 25th year.
Here’s to another lap around the sun!
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
Imposter syndrome is like cooties- it’s a fear mongering fraud who’s only symptom is shame.
I don’t have a single friend who hasn’t felt imposter syndrome while coming of age. No matter how hard working we are or how deserving we are of a job, or a role in a play, or a masters program, new environments can convince us that we’re not enough.
Today’s guest became an expert in managing self doubt while navigating prestigious academia and competitive internships all while keeping feelings about whether or not she belonged and whether or not her mental health could sustain through all the negativity, bottled up. Throughout the episode, we both open up about our experiences, find similarities that lessen the power of the shame that a silo of negativity holds, and how not feeling good enough has different expressions in different people.
Thinking more broadly, we discuss how environments that lack representation can naturally other you, and we both offer up our best advice for coping with imposter syndrome, including self-reflection and self-care.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
Growing up, did you think you’d always live in the city you were born in? Maybe you thought you’d go away for school and come back to settle down, or that you’d fall in love on a trip in Italy and you’d never return, or maybe you felt sure that home would always be home. The romance in a new adventure is advertised everywhere; from movies where characters are stuck at the airport while coming home for the holidays, to our Instagram feeds where old friends hold keys to their new homes in lives unlike our own.
This week’s guest is one of those people on my Instagram feed. After moving across the pond during the pandemic, he reflects on the joys of experiencing new cultures, new views, and new friendships, as well as the downsides of being away from home, including struggles with loneliness and isolation, and living outside his comfort zone.
My guest shares the things that got him through, and advice for those who are looking to enjoy life more no matter where they’re living. Throughout our conversation, he shares that in reality, starting over in an unfamiliar place is harder than it looks. Building a beautifully adventurous and colorful life requires a lot of tenacity, bravery, and mental toughness. To those who are up for the challenge, this one’s for you!
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
Close to moving out? This episode might save you from making a HUGE mistake. This week, we’re talking all about roommates - the good kind, the bad kind, and the kind that eat your hummus without asking.
Now more than ever, we recognize the importance of who we share our space with. Most of us are working or learning from home during the day, and so cohabitating and co-working with others is inevitable. The people you choose to live with can make or break your experience.
Today’s guest shares her experiences to enlighten the rest of us on what exactly to look for in a good roommate, how to cope with a roommate relationship that is negatively impacting your mental health, and how to clock your own habits and behaviours at home in order to communicate your boundaries & needs well.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
Change can be challenging, but we can’t deny it’s good timing.
This week’s guest is no stranger to change. Making fitness and exercise a priority lead to lifestyle changes that had a positive effect on her mental health and her career.
Physical and mental health are tightly bound together- it’s chemical. Throughout the episode, we reflect on self-talk, and how excuses fester into demotivation, while discipline and action can positively impact your self image. When we’re not feeling our best, exercise is often the medicine we need.
We spend time talking about social media, developing a balanced lifestyle, tips on finding motivation, and leaving our egos at the door when getting into a new fitness routine.
If you’re thinking about making a positive change to your lifestyle, this episode is exactly what you need to get started.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder.
If you’ve ever been in a long distance relationship, you know that while there’s truth in the saying, there are also feelings of longing, loneliness and frustration that come with that fondness that can test your relationship or your mental health.
Today’s guest is an expert at the LDR. Through sharing her experience of being in a long distance relationship for years, she highlights the silver linings that shine through the ups and the downs that she and her partner have gone through. Managing jealousy & intimacy while apart can be tricky, but it taught them lessons in communication which could be applied to any relationship, romantic or otherwise.
Being apart from friends and family over the last two years has been difficult, and I hope that this conversation helps you cope with feelings of loneliness or longing, and instills hope for your next happy reunion.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
Though often considered a toxic behaviour, comparison is an important brain function that helps us understand the world around us and ourselves.
Maintaining your mental health amongst instinctual comparisons is an essential factor to maintaining a strong sense of self, and in the age of thirst traps and cuffing season, it’s easier said than done.
Today I’m joined by someone with a unique outlook on comparison. As an identical twin, her earliest memories are of people making comparisons between her and her sister. As she grew up, practice made perfect when it came to separating the perceptions of others from how she saw herself.
With her expertise on how to combat negative effects of comparison, she shares tips on how to shrink the impact of comparing grades, careers, and looks on your mental health. The biggest one of these? Remember that comparisons are normal. It’s being mindful about whether they’re helping or hindering your own sense of self, your relationships, and your personal growth that matters.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
When a best friend, a sibling, parent or romantic partner is struggling it can feel impossible. That desire to help, to take their pain away is the most natural thing in the world. But unfortunately, it isn’t usually helpful or possible.
Today we are joined by a friend who has seen his sibling struggle with depression and anxiety for the last eight years. He opens up about how complicated and difficult this has been for him. He explains how his perspective has changed throughout the years and shares many of the lessons he learned simply by trying out every strategy. We also discuss how sometimes acting like we aren't also struggling feels easier but it isn't until we’re honest with ourselves and others that we can also start healing.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
**
To Help Lumenus reach their goal of raising $80,000 at the Scotiabank Marathon go to Raceroster.com and register to run in one of the marathon options. Then select Lumenus Community Services as the organization you would like to fundraise for. If you cannot participate but want to donate go to Raceroster.com and select donate to a charity and then select Lumenus Community Services.
Today, it’s just us.
In my first solo episode since DWIC was born, I’m opening up about why I believe we should all spend more time alone. I’ve always considered myself an extrovert, but after the year we’ve had, I’ve finally learned to love my alone time.
In the hopes that my self-discoveries uncover some truths for you about yourself, I open up about some of my more codependent relationships and my need for external validation, but I also recognize the societal changes that affect our generation’s lifestyles. To top it all of, I’m filling you all in on my morning routine which makes me feel grounded even on my busiest days.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
Home can be a city, a country, a person, a pet, or even a song, but more often than not, “home” is thought of as the building you live in.
Today my guest and I discuss what it’s like to have more than one home. Their experiences as a child of immigrants and my experiences as an immigrant to Canada are unpacked to expose similarities & differences in how we experience the feelings of belonging. One fifth of Canada’s population is made up of foreign-born people, making our stories relatable to millions of Canadians, even though growing up we felt singled out some of the time. We both share our complicated feelings about our multiculturalism and our split identities- the good, the bad, and the undecided.
Laughs are had over the aspects of our childhoods which only children of immigrants can relate to, and pride is found in the strength and resiliency that we both learned growing up in our homes.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
In the pursuit of scratching a creative or entrepreneurial itch, comes the fear of judgement and failure. Starting over is daunting and comes with questions from friends and family like “why?” and “how?” that smells like disapproval, not to mention the imposter syndrome that accompanies a new career.
This week we’re joined by a friend of mine who has time and time again chosen to fare forward despite those challenges, and has started new creative projects. We discuss his journey and the different lessons he’s learned along the way. Our conversation is packed with actionable tips and tricks for those of us who are just getting started on similar journeys, as well as what to avoid. Some of the highlights include getting through creative blocks,managing social comparisons and the importance of understanding the intention behind your passion project to start it all off.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
One thing that doesn’t get easier when you get older? Family drama.
Divorce, cheating, and sibling struggles aren’t the easiest thing to go through, let alone talk about. Unfortunately, as common as they are, they’re often still burdened by shame.
This week’s episode is honest and vulnerable. My guest bravely shares her family’s story from her own perspective along with the things that helped her cope. We discuss naming complicated emotions that come up when navigating family challenges, how acknowledging childhood trauma can be the first step in letting go of unhelpful narratives about ourselves and how boundary building can be a helpful tool in preserving and rebuilding relationships with parents and siblings. As always, we acknowledge how important it is to talk about these things in order to let go of stigmas which can often feel like the worst part.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
Wild nights out, breakups, horrible dates, and falling in love are all fun and games - but they’re also important parts of life that help form our futures.
This week’s episode is all about dating. My guest and I laugh about modern day dating behaviours that would shock our parents’ generation, give unsolicited advice to male listeners, and discuss some of the more thoughtful aspects of dating at our age.
My guest discusses their decision to end a long term relationship, the lessons she learned, and how she candidly puts it, “became more interesting” because of it. We unpacked the need to shift the expectation for single women to crave relationships, and talked about all the faults in it, including all the reasons to enjoy who and where we are right now.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
Why are men’s feelings still taboo?
Today, I’m joined by one of my social worker friends to talk about men’s mental health. We unpack his journey into the field of social work and discuss toxic masculinity, racism, and the gender gap in therapy, in an attempt to destigmatize and normalize a range of emotions in men.
Through sharing his experience with academia, we learn about the labels that limited him, and liberated him. Through his stories about friendship, we learn the differences between male and female friendships, and how gender roles can limit romantic relationships…
And because of his vulnerability, we hope that you will be inspired to validate the feelings of everyone around you, as well as be more open with your own.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
We’re switching things up this week. I'm taking you along one of our road trip chats where we discuss all things friendship. Even though we may talk about these relationships less than others they still have the ability to lift us up and cause us pain.
Here you’ll get 9 different perspectives on what it means to be a friend, how friendships influence us and how they change as we grow up. We also discuss conflict in friendships and finding friends in new places. As each person answers my questions you’ll notice the overlap in responses as well as the differences. This episode is meant to celebrate friendships and also let us learn from each other so we can find great friends and be great friends.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
The climate crisis is overwhelming, and so is talking about it. We all know we should be doing more to help, but it often feels like too big of a problem to start solving on our own.
On this week’s episode, my guest and I share why we identify as ‘Imperfect Environmentalists” in an effort to normalize doing our best when we’re faced with the worst.
In sharing our own approaches to environmentalism, we divulge the things we’ve struggled to give up, the things we’re still hanging onto, and the things we don’t miss at all. Other highlights include the connection between caring about the environment and caring about social justice issues, as well as the connection between doing good for the earth and the positive impact it can have on your mental health.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
Ready or not, our social calendars are starting to fill up, our pre-pandemic lifestyles are returning, and with them comes the difficulty of balancing social anxiety, and the pressure to enjoy our twenties while we’re still in them.
This week, my guest and I discuss the tension between risk aversion and the fear of missing out that has the potential to plague your weekend.
We reflect on our pre-pandemic social lives, socializing in relationships, and understanding gut feelings, while also breaking down our social lives after the pandemic, discussing normalizing social anxiety after a year in isolation, and the fear of returning to lockdown if we take hot girl summer too far…
She shares tips for finding comfort in boundaries, confidence in friendship, and the importance of risk taking for personal growth.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
As we grow older and take more control of our mental and physical health, the connection between the two becomes more and more obvious.
On this week’s episode, I got to speak with a good friend who is pursuing a career in naturopathic medicine - a path which she’s faced judgement for but has also taught her how to prioritize her own feelings and to trust her gut rather than the opinions of others.
This mind-body connection is something that the field puts extra emphasis on, and is where she gained her perspective on how to support all aspects of health. We discuss nutrition and using food as medicine, the importance of balance when it comes to discipline and indulgence, and the links between gut health and mental health which are often overlooked.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
Every stage of life comes with a unique set of pressures- to do well in school, to land your first job, to fall in love, it goes on… Sometimes the pressure is put on us by others’ expectations of us, and sometimes, it’s self-inflicted.
On this week’s episode my guest and I dive deep into how to manage internal and external pressures in order to live without being weighed down by them. He shares important moments that helped to change his perspective on certain stressors, while also revealing the parts of his life that are still a work in progress, namely, his work-life balance.
We highlight how engaging in self-reflection is vital in the pursuit of our dreams, how engaging in play is still an important part of growing up, and so much more.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
We’ve all felt the bubble. You know the one- it sits in your chest and mocks you all the way up to your throat until you’re forced to just let it pop.
Swallowing your feelings is painful and lonely, and often festers into shame. In this week’s episode, my guest bravely unpacks her mental health journey in the hopes that by sharing her own story, it makes us all feel less alone in ours.
Our conversation covers mental health in relationships and at work, as well as making the decision to go on medication and the stigma surrounding this. Along the way we discuss tips and tricks that have gotten us through hard moments, and the relief that comes from opening up to a friend.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
Looking at it from the outside, questioning your sexuality can seem like an admission. In an ideal world, we instead leave space for ourselves and one another to embark upon an ongoing journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance.
In this week’s episode, I’m joined by a fellow social worker to discuss questioning your sexuality in a heteronormtive society, coming out to family, friends & partners, and challenging our own assumptions about what it means to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community.
I learned a lot from this conversation, noteabley, the beauty in all of our differences & the impact that sharing vulnerable stories can have on shrinking the fear that keeps us from being our most authentic selves.
I hope you learn just as much.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
We’ve all got layers. Some are thinner, or closer to the surface. Others get exposed when the outside layers are peeled back. Sometimes layers make sense. Sometimes they’re uncomfortable to explore, and sometimes, they contradict each other.
In this week’s episode, my guest and I discuss the harmful effects of comparison in the age of social media, how labels can be liberating or limiting, and finding peace in changing interests & competing values as we navigate our twenties.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Email inquiries: dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
The last year has left everyone feeling some type of loneliness, but how have you grown from it?
My first guest shares how, to them, self-development meant learning to sit in silence, picking up forgotten hobbies, and discovering that being alone isn’t actually the worst thing. Other highlights include the power of self-reflection and how the pandemic pointed out many social inequities that we should all take time to reflect on.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Have a question?
Email us at dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com
Welcome to the first episode of Don’t Worry, It’s Confidential. (eek!)
Every week, I’ll be joined by a new voice, who will hopefully help us all feel less alone.
But for our first meeting, I thought it should be just us.
In this first episode, you’ll hear a little bit about where I’m coming from, and where this is headed. I hope you’ll stick around to hear it unfold.
Follow us on instagram: @dontworryitsconfidential
Have a question?
Email us at dontworryitsconfidential@gmail.com