The Gastronomer’s Gazette: Recent Episodes
Roger Overall/Show and Tell Communications Ltd
The world is even more bizarre than you suspect it is. If you want to understand it, you have to look at the pillar of all life: food and drink. Without food and drink, we can’t live. Also, without food and drink, why would you want to? Let me tell you, if wine or cheddar ever runs out, I’m on the first rocket ship out of here. Do you feel the same way? Then this is the podcast for you.
It's #AudioMo and we're answering listener questions every day for the month of June.
Today: Is Welsh rarebit just posh cheese on toast?
It's #AudioMo and we're answering listener questions every day for the month of June.
Today: Why are lollipops called that?
It's #AudioMo and we're answering listener questions every day for the month of June.
Today: How much dog is there in a hot dog?
It's #AudioMo and we're answering listener questions every day for the month of June.
Today: Are oranges really green?
It's #AudioMo and we're answering listener questions every day for the month of June.
Today: Why does everybody hate Merlot?
It's #AudioMo and we're answering listener questions every day for the month of June.
Today: What's the deal with airline peanuts?
It's #AudioMo and we're answering listener questions every day for the month of June.
Today: Do slugs have it coming?
It's AudioMo and we're answering listener questions every day for the month of June.
Today: Bananas. Why?
It's AudioMo and we're answering listener questions every day for the month of June.
This audio is so explosive, the Gazette's BlueSky account was immediately suspended when it was linked there. Dare you listen to it?
Cheese is one of the world’s most offensive foods. In fact, given the lack of cheese on any other known planet, it is quite possible there is a universal ban on it.
Such a cheese ban would explain two things...
As many as 46 million turkeys are killed for Thanksgiving dinners in the USA at the end of November. And in Ireland alone, an estimated 1 million turkeys are eaten at Christmas. In the UK, the Christmas turkey toll is around 10 million.
But why turkeys? What have they ever done to us?
SFX from Pixabay.com and Zapsplat.com
Have you ever wondered why we ‘toast’ someone with a drink?
Even when we don’t like them very much?
(But everyone else is going along with it and you don’t want to be seen not joining in, particularly if it’s the boss being toasted.)
(Christ, you hate them.)
(There it’s over.)
(Actually, why is it called a ‘toast’?)
Curious? Good, let’s begin.
Are you also upset that apples are still easily bought at the supermarket? Despite the obvious danger they pose to humans?
Frankly, it’s a miracle we’ve survived as long as we have, surrounded as we are by orchards and greengrocers.
If you have apples in your fruit bowl, I’d steer clear, if I were you.
Curious? Good, let’s begin.
Greetings fellow gastronomer,
Isn’t it time avocados were given an 18 rating to keep them away from children?
Yes, it is.
Curious? Good, let’s begin.
A quintessentially English berry is under threat of extinction.
And its demise will impact nearly everyone who eats bananas.
Curious? Listen to find out more.
The International Movie Database lists 411 food films. Oddly, Jaws, a 1975 film about a shark on a food binge, isn’t among them. In the film, the protagonist eats a very angry Robert Shaw. But is a very angry Robert Shaw the worst thing a fellow performer has eaten on screen? Find out in this episode...
Greetings gastronaut,
Have you ever looked at the sea and thought, "That's an awful lot of water"?
Well, it's not as much as you thought. Turns out, the seas aren't H2O alone. Far, far from it.
And water itself might not be what you think it is.
Curious? Good, let’s begin.
According to popular belief, Puritan Parliamentarians in the 17th century outlawed the eating of mince pies in England on Christmas Day. They also made it illegal to be King Charles of England on Christmas Day or on any other day. One of these laws still exists today…
Some people get terribly upset about the bees dying out. They think our crops won’t be pollinated and that honey production will cease, if the bees all die. Well, there is good news and bad news.
Curious? Listen to find out more.
If US meat chickens were to continue at their 1957-2005 rate of growth, then at some point in the early 29th century, the average US meat chicken will have grown to weigh more than Mount Everest.
What, if anything, is going on...?
Some people say that any wine spill is a tragedy. They are exaggerating. Some wine is so bad, spilling it down the sink is the best thing for it.
But what turns the spillage of good wine from a mishap into a disaster? I’ve spent many weeks perfecting a flowchart to answer this question.
Curious? Good, let’s begin.
Let me tell me tell you about the worst restaurant in the world. One where the owner hates me.
Curious? Good. Let's begin.
Did you know sharks are dangerous?
If you come across one where you live, don't interact with it. Even if it is dead. You'll regret it, if you do.
Curious? Good. Let's begin.
In 1859, the USA and the UK almost went to war over a pig. Was it an especially attractive pig?
Find out more in this episode of The Gastronomer's Gazette.
Ever since wine making was invented, humans have asked themselves, “How many grapes do I need to make a standard bottle of wine and will shop-bought do?”
Curious?
Good.
Let's begin.
Meat eaters get very upset with people who don't eat meat. I don't know why. Surely, that means more meat for the meatists? (Huzzah!)
Plantists get very upset with people who do eat meat. I don't know why. Surely, heart disease will carve the meatists out of the population, thus reducing the demand for meat and saving the planet? (Huzzah!)
Both sides can agree on one thing, though: fake meat is dumb.
Curious? Good. Let's begin.
Meat eaters get very upset with people who don't eat meat. I don't know why. Surely, that means more meat for the meatists? (Huzzah!)
Plantists get very upset with people who do eat meat. I don't know why. Surely, heart disease will carve the meatists out of the population, thus reducing the demand for meat and saving the planet? (Huzzah!)
Both sides can agree on one thing, though: fake meat is dumb.
Curious? Good. Let's begin.
How did eggs become associated with Easter?
The easy answer would be that eggs have long been a symbol of birth and new life, perhaps representing Christ’s resurrection. But that would be too easy. The real answer is far more interesting.
Curious? Good. Let's begin.
The survival of the human race, nay the entire ecological balance of the planet, rests in the hands one person.Let's hope he never goes on strike.Curious? Good. Let's begin.
Imagine if you had the biggest wine bottle ever in your restaurant. Bigger than a person even. Much, much bigger.And it started leaking hundreds of litres of wine everywhere.Who would you call?
You'd think making cheese with maggots would be illegal.It is.That doesn't stop people doing it, though.
In 1932, Australian soldiers armed with machine guns went to war with emus... and were forced to retreat.
My daughter stopped the conversation stone dead at the dinner table by claiming bees are fish.Turns out she's right.
Do you know what castoreum is?You can use it as a vanilla flavouring, instead of using actual vanilla. It's approved by food authorities, including the US Food and Drug Administration, so all good, don't worry about it. Except... Would you like to know where castoreum comes from?
Was 2022 a vintage year for you?If it wasn't, I hope 2023 will be a vintage year.Of course, not all vintages are vintage.Curious? Good. Let's begin.
This week's episode is filled to the brim with every single wine bottle size—from the smallest to the biggest. The largest bottle size might make you faint.Curious? Good. Let's begin.
The answer to one of the questions that's been teasing your mind since you were a child:
How many calories does each reindeer burn on Christmas Eve?
Churchill was a prodigious fan of onesies and Champagne. His daily alcohol consumption is the stuff of legend. Let's follow along for a day.
People will do anything in the name of science, as long as it either:
a. furthers human knowledge
b. gets an absolute mountain of publicity
So, with b firmly in mind, sending a case of wine into space makes complete sense.
Find out more in this week's episode.
Do you know Jamshid?
Of course, you do.
You just know him by a different name. In fact, you know a famous story about him. But maybe you don't know that one of his wives discovered wine?
If you don't know who Captain Scarlet is, you only need to know one thing about him: he is indestructible. That's why he drinks Madeira.
What is the correct amount of wine you should be drinking? If you're in your 30s, you shouldn't be drinking at all, according to Plato. If you're over 40, you can't drink enough. But did Shakespeare agree?
I don't know about you, but I used to think serving hard liquor on board naval ships to men who have access to heavy gunnery wasn't a good idea. However, having researched maritime navigation for this issue of the dispatch, it's obvious...
Curious? Good. Let's begin.
Before the invention of wine bottles, wine was often stored in goat skins. But the goats had a habit of wandering off. And they didn't store at all well in cellars. Things improved both for wine drinkers and goats in the 17th century.
Maybe you already know that, like some cheeses, wine isn't necessarily suitable for vegetarians? (Let alone vegans.)
And maybe you're upset Ascot hasn't joined the circular economy by serving horse meat at its races?
If you’ve ever been to a symposium and not drunk any alcohol, you’ve done it all wrong.
It's a popular belief that humans invented wine.
But that's impossible.
Curious? Good. Let's begin.
The Romans added fermented fish to their wine to improve its flavour.
If that was an improvement, can you imagine how bad Roman wine must have tasted to begin with?
Rotted fish isn't the worst thing they added to their wine.
And one particular additive is thought to have brought down the entire Empire.
Have you ever been to the Yunessun Spa Resort in Hakone in Japan? Nor me. But it sounds like a terrific place. If you want, someone will stand by the side of the pool and throw a bucket of red wine at you.
There is a place a place where they consume so much wine, they need the intervention of Einstein's Theory of Relativity to squeeze all their wine drinking into the time available to them.
Where? How?
Find out in this episode of Spierkater's Gallimaufry.
Wine is fat- and cholesterol-free. So by that measure it's practically a health drink. But it is laden with calories. Which begs the question, "How far could you run on a bottle of wine?" Curious? Let's find out.
Before Hippocrates, medicine was in the hands of the gods, which, let's be honest, is no proper way to run a healthcare system. Hippocrates changed all that. He revolutionised medicine. How he did it will shock you. Was wine involved?
Edward IV was king of England twice. You'd think that would make him both Edward IV and Edward V. But, no. That's not how royal accountancy works. What a pity.
Edward IV's first spell on the throne was ended by a plot in which his brother George was complicit. The plot failed. Once back on the throne, Edward IV (v.2.0) ordered a colossal amount of wine and got his revenge.
Curious? Good. Hit the play button.
What do grapes, the Deccan Traps and the death of the dinosaurs have in common? Were grapes used as bait in the traps? Also, what the are the Deccan Traps?
Scientists have come up with a brutal test to find out whether a berry is a true berry...
In this episode, we're going to mix cocaine and wine.
You're probably thinking that putting cocaine in wine sounds:
a) mad
and
b) very illegal indeed.
Strap yourself in, because in the mid-1800s, it was considered neither of those things.
The very boring introductory episode. Learn how to pronounce gallimaufry and the origins of the word 'spierkater'. That's about all this episode has going for it. Frankly, I'd skip it if I were you. (Fun fact: the word h*ll is forbidden on Podbean)