The Uncommon Communicator: Recent Episodes

James Gable, Brandon Thompson

The Uncommon communicator is the individual that has the enlightenment, to recognize in any situation, whether or not communication has occurred. This uncommon communicator takes ownership of the conversation and possess the skills to navigate and facilitate the conversation to mutual understanding. A communications major and a construction superintendent take on the common communication problems of our times. Taking on the experts as well as the Sophist of old to help bring clarity to the lost art of true communications.

Experience the transformative power of negotiation with our esteemed guest Megan Shapiro, a construction attorney turned risk management maestro. As we unravel the complex tapestry of negotiation for construction leaders, Megan imparts her wisdom on the holistic approach to risk management. It's not just about the fine print or safety protocols; it's an intricate dance with communication styles, tailored approaches, and the strategic use of questions to unlock win-win scenarios. Our dialogue is a masterclass in identifying personal negotiation styles, leveraging them for strategic advantage, and fostering a culture of active listening and consistent practice.

Step into the world of the 'Uncommon Communicator' with us, where Megan Shapiro guides us through the nuances of legal disputes and mediation. Discover how to resonate with different communicative styles and adapt to the combination lock of negotiation dynamics. We delve into the paradoxical goal of strategic consulting — empowering clients to the point where our presence becomes unnecessary. From the role-playing exercises that hone our communication skills to the art of asking the right questions, we provide a roadmap for construction professionals to navigate the emotional and factual landscapes of negotiation.

Check out more for Megan Shapiro at:
Negotiation Style Quiz: https://meganshapiro.ck.page/81045b49f1

Discount code for the online course: https://meganshapiro.ck.page/276f6a94f2

Email list for Savannah trip: https://meganshapiro.ck.page/694d9d28bf

My website: https://www.meganshapiro.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJqHEhS1CtX3A4nztIBzdA
Instagram: The_Uncommon_Communicator
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theuncommoncommunicator
Facebook: The Uncommon Communicator
LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/company/80960291/ Website : theuncommoncommunicator.com

When was the last time you gave someone your full trust? This isn't just about believing they'll show up on time, but trusting them with the parts of you that you might keep under lock and key. Join us as we sit down with Jennifer Lacey, the 2023 Dallas Business Journal's Woman of the Year in Business, who not only shares her journey through vulnerability and trust but also provides us with an in-depth look at the hard-won lessons in her book, "Lean in Love."

Throughout our conversation, Jennifer peels back the layers on what it means to truly connect with others, whether it's with our children, colleagues, or the person we see in the mirror. From sharing personal tales of grief to discussing the nuance of feedback within our most intimate circles, this episode is a treasure trove of honesty. Trust us, you'll come away from this episode understanding that sometimes the strongest thing you can do is let your guard down and listen, really listen, to what others have to say.

Ending on a practical note, we delve into the concrete ways in which we can build and sustain trust, especially in the workplace. Jennifer, with her rich expertise in continuous improvement, gives us a backstage pass to the leadership strategies that lead to genuine rapport and collaboration. By the time you reach the end of this episode, you'll have gained not just a newfound appreciation for the role of trust in personal and professional growth but also actionable steps to invite more authenticity into your interactions. Don't let this chance slip by to learn from one of the most candid voices on communication and leadership today.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJqHEhS1CtX3A4nztIBzdA
Instagram: The_Uncommon_Communicator
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theuncommoncommunicator
Facebook: The Uncommon Communicator
LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/company/80960291/ Website : theuncommoncommunicator.com

Have you ever witnessed a transformation that reshaped a life's trajectory? That's precisely what Jesse Hernandez has experienced, evolving from a high-achieving construction maven to a magnanimous contributor through stories and wisdom shared in his compelling book, "Becoming the Promise that you Were Intended to Be." Our conversation peels back the layers of crafting an authentic personal brand, the delicate dance of self-promotion, and the profound shifts that come from pouring into others. Jesse's insights into mentorship and community engagement are a testament to the strength found in collective wisdom.

Baring one's soul isn't for the faint of heart, and this episode doesn't shy away from the raw edges of vulnerability. We navigate the therapeutic landscapes of storytelling, especially in the context of addiction recovery and the search for self-worth. Jesse and I discuss the beauty in embracing our imperfections and the transformative power of seeing ourselves through the compassionate lens of others. It's a deep dive into the resilience that blooms from storytelling, the clarity that whispers in our intuitive moments, and the opportunities disguised in life's adversities.

Closing out this insightful exchange, we celebrate the language of inclusivity and the camaraderie that fuels professional environments. Reflecting on the parallels between the solidarity of 12-step meetings and team dynamics, we examine how embracing our humanity can enhance both personal growth and professional interactions. This heart-to-heart is a masterclass in leveraging personal narratives to inspire and connect, serving as a reminder that our individual journeys have the power to echo in the lives of others, urging them to share their own. Join us for this inspiring session that will leave you contemplating the stories you have to tell and the promise you were meant to be.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJqHEhS1CtX3A4nztIBzdA
Instagram: The_Uncommon_Communicator
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theuncommoncommunicator
Facebook: The Uncommon Communicator
LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/company/80960291/ Website : theuncommoncommunicator.com

Ever wonder how a melody can unlock a memory or a rhythm can help someone relearn how to walk? This is the magic that music therapist Joanna Ostrander brings to the table, and she unraveled the mysteries of neurologic music therapy with us, offering an intriguing look at music's impact on the brain. As our conversation weaved through Joanna's transition from performance to therapeutic practice, it became clear that music is not just an art form; it's a bridge to personal growth and a way to help individuals realize their intrinsic value.

It's one thing to talk, but another to truly communicate, and that's where our discussion turned enlightening. We tackled what it means to be an effective communicator, scrutinizing everything from the responsibility of clarity to the art of adaptation when the message isn't getting through. From the curious ways our brains forge connections to the potency of techniques like mirroring and labeling, we've peeled back the layers of interaction to reveal vulnerability as more than just a condition—it's a deliberate tool in the dance of dialogue.

The conversation didn't just stop at communication; we also celebrated those moments where music transcends genre, where an electric violinist or a pop star can break molds and delight hard rock fans. The episode was a symphony of ideas, from the therapeutic power of music in speech recovery to the way personal quirks, like a preference for Captain Picard over Captain Kirk, inform our perspectives on leadership and vulnerability. Get ready to be inspired, informed, and maybe even a little entertained as we harmonize the realms of music therapy and communication.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJqHEhS1CtX3A4nztIBzdA
Instagram: The_Uncommon_Communicator
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theuncommoncommunicator
Facebook: The Uncommon Communicator
LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/company/80960291/ Website : theuncommoncommunicator.com

Unlock the secrets to gracefully declining requests and safeguarding your boundaries with the guidance of Sarah Ginald, our boundary expert. Prepare to navigate the tricky waters of saying "no" without ruffling feathers or compromising relationships. Our latest episode serves as a playbook for those moments when you need to stand your ground, offering nine practical strategies that marry assertiveness with empathy. Whether it's disentangling the refusal from the individual asking or learning the subtle art of a timely "not now," we've got you covered with insights straight from the Harvard Business Review and beyond.

The dance of denial need not be a solo performance. Embrace the nuanced choreography of preserving both your peace and your connections as we dissect each step in the process. Sarah's expertise illuminates the path to a firm yet kind refusal, highlighting the importance of clarity in your "no" and the freedom that comes with the choices you make. By the close of our conversation, you'll walk away not just with the tools to decline with finesse, but also the courage to welcome the growth and opportunities that your well-placed "no's" will bring.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJqHEhS1CtX3A4nztIBzdA
Instagram: The_Uncommon_Communicator
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theuncommoncommunicator
Facebook: The Uncommon Communicator
LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/company/80960291/ Website : theuncommoncommunicator.com

Ever felt the weight of a simple 'no'? We've all been there, wrestling with the anxiety of turning down a request, and the ripple effects it might have. That's why we invited Sarah Ginella, the insightful VP of Full Sail Partners, to unravel the emotional layers that often make it so hard to refuse. Together, we tackle the concept of 'counterfeit yeses' and how to realign our decisions with our true feelings, championing the power of an authentic 'no.' It's a journey through the highs and lows of personal and professional boundaries that promises to leave you with a newfound respect for that tiny syllable.

At the heart of this episode lies the nuanced dance of communication, where a 'no' can be as complex as a kaleidoscope of colors. Sarah and I delve into how context can alter its meaning from a respectful denial to a harmful dismissal, and how recognizing this can empower those feeling undervalued to find their voice. We're not just talking about saying 'no'; we're fostering a workplace culture that applauds it. By doing so, we lay the foundation for authentic dialogue and create a professional environment that respects individual boundaries as much as it does productivity.

Rounding off our insightful chat, we share practical tips and anecdotes on managing workloads and setting professional boundaries. Hear how the go/no-go decision-making framework might just be the tool you need to communicate limits assertively and navigate the delicate balance of work commitments. Understand that it's not just the scale of a project that determines the workload, but the people and emotions behind it, and learn the art of gracefully declining, opening the door to a more balanced life. So tune in, and let's empower you to stand firm in your 'why' and wield the word 'no' with confidence and clarity.
You can find the BOYBAS livestreams here: (1) Bring Out Your BadAss Self (#BOYBAS): Overview | LinkedIn
Here is a link to NoBS with Jenn and Jess : (1) No BS with Jen & Jess: Overview | LinkedIn

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJqHEhS1CtX3A4nztIBzdA
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TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theuncommoncommunicator
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LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/company/80960291/ Website : theuncommoncommunicator.com

Have you ever wondered why some conversations leave you feeling invigorated while others feel like a dead end? Tune in as Brandon and I dissect the art of asking questions that aren't just fillers but gateways to deeper connection and understanding. Our latest episode of Uncommon Communicator podcast peels back the layers of communication, emphasizing how a blend of curiosity and the right questions can transform dialogues from mundane to meaningful.

In a candid exchange, we revisit the nuances of curiosity, examining how a sprinkle of information can entice interest, while too much can douse it. Drawing inspiration from the thrill of a TikTok scroll, we discuss strategies to strike that delicate balance, ensuring we keep our conversations as engaging and stimulating. We hone in on the art of listening intently, stressing the significance of comprehending responses to craft thoughtful follow-up questions. It's not enough to simply ask; caring about the answers is the cornerstone of rich communication.

Wrapping up with a deep dive into the craft of open-ended questions, we share tales from our own experiences where conversation dominance led to missed opportunities. By learning to embrace the unpredictability of responses and adapting our approach accordingly, we open ourselves to a world of meaningful interactions. We leave you with three key takeaways: nurture your curiosity, sharpen your listening skills, and become adept at asking open-ended questions. These insights will arm you with the tools to invigorate your everyday conversations and forge connections that resonate.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJqHEhS1CtX3A4nztIBzdA
Instagram: The_Uncommon_Communicator
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theuncommoncommunicator
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LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/company/80960291/ Website : theuncommoncommunicator.com

When Matt Ohly, Adam Hoots, and I gathered around the mics, we uncovered the threads that weave together Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now" with the fabric of our daily interactions. This episode isn't just a chat; it's a deep connection through shared stories that reveal how the art of presence amplifies our ability to communicate genuinely and listen intently. We're not just industry professionals—we're seekers of moments that build bridges between efficiency in work and the fullness of life outside the office walls.

Embarking on a journey through time, we align the ancient wisdom of Stoicism with Tolle's contemporary musings on mindfulness, only to find ourselves anchoring each other in the currents of the present. Here, you'll walk away with a blend of personal revelations and philosophical insights, each shedding light on the transformative impact presence has on our mental health, happiness, and even the legacy we leave behind. It's not just about the stories we tell; it's about the space we create for growth and empathy amidst the chaos of past regrets and future anxieties.

As we draw the curtains on this session, we celebrate the electric spontaneity of life—how a last-minute live stream can lead to unexpected friendships and profound connections. Matt and I dive into the joy these serendipitous experiences bring, reminding us all that the present is not just a concept but a lived reality that binds us in its embrace. Tune in, and you might just find that the power of now is the gateway to a life of contentment and the key to unlocking the full potential of each fleeting second.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJqHEhS1CtX3A4nztIBzdA
Instagram: The_Uncommon_Communicator
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theuncommoncommunicator
Facebook: The Uncommon Communicator
LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/company/80960291/ Website : theuncommoncommunicator.com

Ever found yourself sugarcoating words until your message loses its edge? Lance Furiyama joins us to champion the raw power of communication, where frankness can unexpectedly cut through noise and foster effectiveness. We navigate the origins of Lance's forthright style, deeply rooted in the unadorned cadences of Pigeon English, and unpack how a touch of authenticity can make for compelling conversations. A personal anecdote brings to life a moment where Lance's genuine approach sparked a memorable UC moment, reminding us all of the transformative impact of staying true to our voices.

This episode also serves as your compass in the complex terrain of radical candor, guiding you through the nuance of honesty blended with empathy. Seven essential tips lay the groundwork for conversations that resonate with clarity, usefulness, and respect. As we navigate the dance between embracing change and preserving authenticity, we delve into how candid exchanges, when handled with care, can cultivate growth and enrich relationships. Join us for an exploration that promises to equip you with the finesse of radical candor, a tool that when wielded wisely, can usher in profound personal and communal metamorphoses.:

Here is a link to episode 22 were we discussed Truth , lies and candor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2zS3NFp0pU&list=PL58DOlv5Vk2OHipHnbwDL_dMKhYA6B9jv&index=86&pp=gAQBiAQB

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJqHEhS1CtX3A4nztIBzdA
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TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theuncommoncommunicator
Facebook: The Uncommon Communicator
LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/company/80960291/ Website : theuncommoncommunicator.com

Ever found yourself in the thick of a construction project, where every voice has the potential to build or bulldoze progress? Lance Ferriyama from Trade Partner HQ joins us to hammer down the significance of communication in the trade industry, offering a blueprint for turning monologues into dialogues that construct rather than constrain. Together, we're chipping away at the old-school 'sizing-up' culture and reengineering it into one of collaboration and respect – because, in this field, a solid foundation isn't just about the concrete.

Navigating the complexities of the construction site is much like calling a truce in a high-stakes standoff – it calls for tact, strategy, and a willingness to listen. We lay out the tools for construction managers and superintendents to become architects of inclusivity, ensuring every voice is heard from the ground up. And just when you think the blueprint is clear, we tackle the frustration of silos and the art of breaking them down, sharing a personal tale from a San Jose project that could've used some serious demolition in the communication department.

But what happens when the hard hats come off? Lance and I dissect the raw, unfiltered essence of communication, extending beyond the job site to social media and beyond. Discover the power of authentic communication as we reflect on a 'UC moment' where staying true to oneself isn't just good for morale, it's good for business. Join us, and let's build bridges with words, one authentic conversation at a time.
Connect with lance and Check out his website: https://tradepartnerhq.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJqHEhS1CtX3A4nztIBzdA
Instagram: The_Uncommon_Communicator
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theuncommoncommunicator
Facebook: The Uncommon Communicator
LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/company/80960291/ Website : theuncommoncommunicator.com

Get ready to redefine success with our latest Uncommon Communicator podcast, where I promise you'll discover the transformative potential of one-word goals. Ever felt overwhelmed by a laundry list of New Year's resolutions that fizzles out by February? We're tackling that head-on, revealing why 91% of resolutions fail and how embracing a singular focus like "growth" or "influence" can steer you towards personal triumphs. I open up about my own adventures with these powerful themes, showing you how just one word can guide your choices and reveal pathways for growth that you might never have seen coming.

This episode isn't just about setting goals; it's about setting the right kind of goals. We're talking about those that ignite a fire within you, the kind that resonates with your deepest aspirations. It's about crafting a beacon word that lights up your entire year, paired with the practicality of SMART goals to keep you on track. Tune in as I share how to harness the synergy between inspiration and goal achievement, and offer up nuggets of wisdom on spotting and seizing life's on-the-spot opportunities that align with your chosen theme. Let's gear up for a breakout year guided by a word that's as unique and powerful as you are.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJqHEhS1CtX3A4nztIBzdA
Instagram: The_Uncommon_Communicator
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theuncommoncommunicator
Facebook: The Uncommon Communicator
LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/company/80960291/ Website : theuncommoncommunicator.com

Unlock the secrets to building unshakeable trust in every word you exchange as we dissect Stephen M.R. Covey's "The Speed of Trust" with the insightful Jennifer Lacey. Transform your interactions with our three-pillar approach to trustworthy communication: harnessing honesty and courage to confront reality, refining conduct through respect and accountability, and fortifying commitment with an unyielding dedication to these values. This episode is your compass to navigate the complexities of communication, ensuring you leave a lasting impression of reliability and integrity in both personal and professional landscapes.

Embrace the transformative power of continuous improvement, the thread that weaves together all aspects of trust. This episode isn't just a lesson in effective dialogue—it's an invitation to join a culture where transparency leads to innovation, where mistakes forge pathways to learning, and where listening is as important as speaking. By embedding these principles into your life, you'll witness the blossoming of genuine relationships and opportunities. Plug in, as we offer a masterclass in becoming the communicator who not only speaks but resonates, with every word grounded in steadfast trust.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJqHEhS1CtX3A4nztIBzdA
Instagram: The_Uncommon_Communicator
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theuncommoncommunicator
Facebook: The Uncommon Communicator
LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/company/80960291/ Website : theuncommoncommunicator.com

Ever wondered how communication could be a game-changer in your relationships, both personal and professional? Grab a cup of tea and tune into our latest episode of the Uncommon Communicator Podcast, where I, your host, have a heart-to-heart discussion with the brilliant, Jennifer Lacey, also known as the “famous lady.” Jennifer, an ace lean practice leader in the construction industry, lays bare her insights on the powerful role of openness and honesty. We let you in on our personal journeys, and the moments that led us to the importance of wearing our hearts on our sleeves, for our children, ourselves, and our co-workers.

Throughout our insightful conversation, we traverse the realms of vulnerability, trust-building and the magic of effective communication. We don't just talk; we share stories that emphasize the importance of being present, being heard, and being clear. We chat about Jennifer's co-authored book "Lean and Love," and its transformative lessons on improving relationships. And we don't shy away from the uncomfortable – how vulnerability can foster growth, how it influences parenting and how it weaves trust in the workplace.

As we wrap-up, Jennifer shares her inspiring journey of discovering her purpose in communication, and her desire to give people a voice. We discuss the critical role of continuous improvement in fostering trust, particularly in Jennifer's realm—the construction industry. This episode isn't just a conversation; it's a reminder of the power of effective communication, the embrace of vulnerability, and the constant journey for improvement. So, give this episode a listen - it's all about giving weight to your words, and the power behind them.

You can connect with jennifer on Linkedin:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenniferlacy/
Find her on the No BS with Jen and Jess Livestream: https://www.linkedin.com/company/no-bs-with-jen-jess/
Buy Lean and love here: https://www.amazon.com/Lean-Love-Letters-Relationships-RipplesOfImpact/dp/B0B2TYD58G

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJqHEhS1CtX3A4nztIBzdA
Instagram: The_Uncommon_Communicator
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theuncommoncommunicator
Facebook: The Uncommon Communicator
LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/company/80960291/ Website : theuncommoncommunicator.com

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Ready for a journey back in time to ancient Athens? Today, we're thrilled to continue our enlightening dialogue with Felipe Engineer Manriquez on the philosophy that's shaped his life and many others - Stoicism. We promise you an exploration of this ancient philosophy's roots; its founder Zeno of Sidium, its therapeutic nature, and its profound impact on our lives. We'll delve into its emphasis on ethics and how our thoughts can influence our well-being. Plus, we'll unravel the mystery behind the placebo effect and its connection to Stoic principles.

But we're not stopping there. As we venture deeper, we'll unveil the crucial role Stoicism played in resurrecting a rational approach to psychotherapy in the 20th century. Hear about Swiss psychiatrist Paul Dubois, who masterfully integrated Stoic philosophy into his therapy sessions. We'll share stories of great Stoic thinkers like Epictetus and Seneca, who taught us the importance of living each day like it's our last. And finally, we'll discuss one of Stoicism's most poignant teachings - the acceptance of death. Through the lens of a deeply personal story about the loss of a beloved pet, we're going to ask ourselves a significant question - are we living a life worth repeating? Join us for a transformative exploration of Stoicism.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJqHEhS1CtX3A4nztIBzdA
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TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theuncommoncommunicator
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LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/company/80960291/ Website : theuncommoncommunicator.com

Ever wonder how ancient philosophy can transform modern-day communication and performance in the construction industry? Well, prepare to be enlightened as we journey into the realm of stoicism and its impacts on communication, with insights from the seasoned construction pro, Felipe Manriquez. We kick off the episode by discussing the wisdom of renowned Stoics like Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus, and their profound influence on cognitive behavior theory. Felipe shares how these teachings have helped him take control of his reactions, adapt to situations and maintain a resilient mindset in the demanding field of construction.

Our conversation doesn’t stop there, we explore how emotional control, energy, growth, and change intertwine in the challenging construction industry terrain. We dig deep into the importance of health, well-being, and cultivating a growth mindset, all crucial elements for succeeding in this sector. Felipe and I also shed light on the barriers that can inhibit progress and the power of stoicism in overcoming them. We highlight the Stoic Rule number four, a life-changing principle that makes you the sole custodian of your happiness.

As we wrap up our engaging chat, our focus shifts to the resistance to change commonly witnessed in the construction industry and valuing people as individuals rather than mere cogs in the wheel. We reiterate the teachings of stoicism that encourage us to embrace the present and live each day to the fullest. We discuss the concept of "UC moment" or the uncommon communicator moment and how it intersects with stoicism. Regardless of your career field, this episode offers valuable insights to improve your communication skills and understanding of stoicisms' role in modern thought and practice.
Find out more about Felipe at : https://www.theebfcshow.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJqHEhS1CtX3A4nztIBzdA
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LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/company/80960291/ Website : theuncommoncommunicator.com

Ready to unlock the secrets of your leadership style? Get ready to revolutionize your communication skills as we dissect the world of leadership with our guest, Rich Hopkins. In a candid discussion, we shine a light on the main leadership styles - authoritarian, participative, and delegative - and how they shape the way we interact in the workplace. It doesn't stop there; we're taking things up a notch by delving into seven unique styles including autocratic, pace setting, transformational, coaching, democratic, affiliative, and delegative. We even touch on the laissez-faire leadership style and how it involves granting some autonomy to your team members.

Understanding your leadership style isn't just about being a boss, it is about connecting with others effectively. This episode serves as a guide to taking the reins of self-awareness and influence. We explore how knowing your leadership style can completely redefine the way you understand and communicate with others. This is more than just a podcast episode; it's an invitation to a journey of self-discovery. So, gear up for an eye-opening discussion, gain a deeper understanding of yourself, and prepare to make a bigger impact with your enhanced communication skills. Unearth your leadership style and transform your workplace dynamics today!

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJqHEhS1CtX3A4nztIBzdA
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TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theuncommoncommunicator
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LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/company/80960291/ Website : theuncommoncommunicator.com

Brace yourself for a journey of reflections, insights, and gratitude as we celebrate our 100th episode of the Uncommon Communicator Podcast. This isn't just an episode; it's a milestone that marks our collective growth in the world of communication. We've learned to recognize when communication occurs, to take charge of conversations, and to steer dialogues towards mutual understanding. Gratitude is in the air Let's not forget our incredible guests who brought their unique perspectives to our podcast.

Please connect with them:
Jesse Hernandez: E13 and E97
Joanna Ostrander : E14 and 15
Dan Fauchier : E62
Felipe Engineer Manriquez : E66
William Bullock : E74
Jennifer Lacy : E76
Greg Gazin : E82 and E84
Big Ed Gable : E88
Keith Bailey : E93
Adam Hoots: E95
Rich Hopkins : E99

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJqHEhS1CtX3A4nztIBzdA
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TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theuncommoncommunicator
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LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/company/80960291/ Website : theuncommoncommunicator.com

Are you ready to uncover the secret to effective leadership and transformative communication? Join us as we unravel these mysteries with Rich Hopkins, a man of many talents and immense influence. Bring your notepad as Rich, a seasoned keynote speaker, disability advocate, author, sales expert, and presentation coach, takes us behind the scenes of his TEDx journey and shares his empowering 'win anyway' mantra. This episode promises not just an inspiring story but also valuable insights into crafting powerful messages through effective communication.

Hop into this leadership deep-dive with Rich as he shares his journey in leading various Toastmasters teams. We're breaking down the merits and pitfalls of leading from the front, and the hidden value of leading from the back and middle. With Rich’s experiences, we shine a spotlight on the importance of nurturing other leaders and adapting your leadership style to different situations. It's not just about leading; it's about inspiring others to become leaders themselves.

We wrap up by exploring various leadership styles and communication methods. Rich offers practical advice on reducing cognitive load, promoting decision-making ownership, and communicating effectively. He shares his experiences of leading without realizing his inspiring influence and the remarkable power of vulnerability and authenticity. So, come along and learn to ask yourself the most important question, 'Are you living a life worth repeating?' We guarantee you’ll walk away from this episode with a fresh perspective on leadership and communication.

Check out Rich's website : https://www.richhopkins.com/
Tedx : https://www.ted.com/talks/rich_hopkins_your_victory_is_just_around_the_corner

Buy his books: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Rich-Hopkins/author/B07R1L62F8?ref=ap_rdr&store_ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true

Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/richhopkins/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJqHEhS1CtX3A4nztIBzdA
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Get ready to shift your perception of feedback, authenticity and vulnerability with our special guest, master questionator and construction mind shifter, Jesse Hernandez! Ever wondered how constructive criticism can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth and improvement? We bring into focus these overlooked aspects of communication, offering you a fresh perspective on how to become a more effective communicator.

In our conversation with Jesse, we delve into the importance of feedback, dissecting effective methods of delivering it with precision, balance and timeliness. However, that's only half the journey. We also discuss in detail the art of receiving feedback, shedding light on how open-mindedness, emotional neutrality, and active questioning can enhance self-reflection and foster a sense of gratitude. Furthermore, we explore authenticity and vulnerability, and how sharing our mistakes can create deeper connections by making others feel less alone. We invite you to join us as we navigate the path to self-improvement and understanding, learning how these elements can contribute to your personal and professional growth. Don't miss out on this enlightening conversation!

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJqHEhS1CtX3A4nztIBzdA
Instagram: The_Uncommon_Communicator
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theuncommoncommunicator
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What if you could transform your life by shifting your focus from achieving to contributing? That's exactly what construction mineshifter, author, and podcast host, Jesse Hernandez, set out to do, and he's sharing his profound journey with us on this episode of the Uncommon Communicator Podcast. Drawing from the most compelling chapters of his book 'Become the Promise You're Intended to Be', Jesse unveils the enriching process of transitioning from achievement to contribution and the liberating power of forgiving oneself.

During this heart-to-heart conversation, we delve into the potency of authenticity and the power of human connection. Shining a light on Jesse's unique term for intuition, 'the whispers,' we explore how heeding this inner voice can guide us towards fulfillment and how ignoring it might lead to friction. Jesse provides thought-provoking insights, alluding to the fact that our perceived "deficiencies" and "defects" are not just our own but are part of the shared human experience, leading to an impactful realization of just how intertwined we are.

Our profound discussion with Jesse threads further into the empowering role of vulnerability in public speaking and the transformative magic of sharing one's story. Jesse's experiences prompt listeners to not just say “I” but also “we” when discussing group experiences, fostering a sense of community and shared experience. So, come join us for this enlightening conversation that not only captivates but promises to inspire you, affirming the strength in sharing your detailed personal journey and the hope it can instill in others.
You can reach Jesse on the socials:
e-mail course to help field leaders get connected with the men and women doing the work: https://www.depthbuilder.com/visible-leadership

link to books on my website: https://www.depthbuilder.com/books

link to all my social accounts: https://depthbuilder.bio.link/

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Ever wondered why respect in communication is so pivotal? It's time to join us as we dissect the core principles of respect as shared by Adam Hoots, an author and expert on communication, on the Uncommon Communicator Podcast. This episode shines light on the intricacies of respect, its roots, and how it can be cultivated even in adulthood. We explore how this simple human concept can foster an environment studded with open dialogue, active listening, innovation, and meaningful engagement, and why it's integral to any workplace.

Building on Julie Pham's enlightening book, "The Seven Forms of Respect: A Guide to Transforming Your Communication and Relationships at Work," we chart a course through respect's seven forms. From procedure and punctuality to information and candor, consideration, acknowledgment, and attention, we unpack how these elements manifest in respectful communication. Tune in as we journey through practical ways of implementing these facets into your daily interactions, both professionally and personally. We promise you, this is a transformative exploration of the art of respect in communication.
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Meet Adam Hoots, founder of Construction ACHE Solutions and a change-maker in the realm of construction. His dedication to shifting the perception of skilled trades and craft workers is awe-inspiring, and our discussion today promises to shed light on this, and the fascinating world of lean construction principles. A man of many languages, Adam emphasizes the power of words in building trust with colleagues, a trait that's been instrumental in his success. In fact, it was Adam's remarkable journey that inspired the creation of Uncommon Communicators podcast.

Join us as we dissect the complexities of lean construction with Adam. He guides us through his unique approach to making construction projects more efficient, through the application of lean principles. The conversation broadens to include the importance of visual communication and respect for people, both within and outside the industry. For those eager to understand lean construction better, Adam provides a sneak peek into his book, a comprehensive thesaurus of lean terms and visuals, simplifying the concept for all.

We conclude with an exploration of the impact and influence of visual communication in lean processes. Adam shares his experience of launching a superintendent-only network, influencing the NCCER's leadership program, and his preparation for a TEDx talk. We celebrate the power of communication, specifically in construction and how it shapes our world. Walk away with a new found respect for the trades, the importance of thorough preparation, and the invaluable role of communication. Join us on this enlightening journey and gain valuable insights from an industry expert.
Check out Adams Tedx talk here : Changing the way we think

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Ever wondered why some people naturally excel at networking while others seem to struggle? What if you could unlock the secrets to becoming a better communicator and networker? Today, we glean the wisdom of master facilitator and networker, Keith Bailey, as we unfold the UC playbook - the key to refining your networking skills. We explore how acknowledging our strengths and polishing our weaker areas can transform us into more proficient communicators than we ever imagined.

Keith introduces us to the PEN method - Prepare, Engage, and Nurture, a game-changing strategy that will significantly elevate your networking experiences. We also delve into the concept of conversational threading, a skill that enables you to better connect and engage with others. The UC moment of this episode underlines the influential power of honest curiosity, a trait that has the potential to truly revamp your interactions. Remember, networking isn't just about enlarging your circle; it's about becoming a superior communicator. So, join us as we navigate the world of networking, armed with authenticity and confidence.

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Guess who's played a pivotal role in transforming the art of networking and communication? It's none other than Keith Bailey, co-founder of Articulated Intelligence. Brace yourself, because we've got him right here in our podcast, and he's ready to share his wealth of knowledge on the power of conversation and the subtleties of networking.

Keith takes us down memory lane, sharing a personal story about a cold call that didn't go as planned, but in turn, became a game-changer in his approach to networking. He emphasizes the importance of understanding the identity, culture, and mindset of the person on the other side of the conversation. Keith's wisdom doesn't stop there. He unravels the trifecta of networking success with his PEN (Prepare, Engage, Notice) acronym.

Here's a promise—you're about to discover the secrets of effective networking and communication. Keith shares his unique strategies including showing up early at networking events and re-establishing connections with people within your existing network. He also emphasizes the power of setting an intention before entering a conversation and taking the time to understand the person before their profession. So, buckle up friends, this is not just another podcast episode, it's your gateway to becoming a networking maestro. With Keith's expert guidance, you're about to redefine your approach to communication and networking.
Connect with Keith on linkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/developing-impactful-leaders-through-public-speaking?miniProfileUrn=urn%3Ali%3Afs_miniProfile%3AACoAAAdji9ABX3r5SCWIN0hzAxMq_S6I3HhiRFI&lipi=urn%3Ali%3Apage%3Ad_flagship3_search_srp_all%3BS%2Ffku2vnQNCH7El0pBOG8A%3D%3D

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Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator podcast, where we are here to bring enlightenment to the topic of communication.

Jocko Wilink calls his ability to detach a super power. He tells a story as a young seal where he was able to look lower his rifle and look at the whole situation to better assess the situation

Detachment as a good thing

Detachment

Jocko realizes that everyone (including himself) tends to use faulty judgment when they let emotions and ego get in their way. By removing these variables, the correct decision becomes much clearer. A tactic he often uses is to “detach himself” from the situation to see things more clearly. For example, when faced with a difficult decision he will mentally remove himself from the situation and pretend he is only a bystander and offering unbiased advice. This will allow him to see the situation in a new light and oftentimes highlight where he went wrong.

Ever notice how you can give your friends great advice but it’s tougher for you to follow your own words of wisdom? That’s because you’re letting emotions and biases come into play when the decision affects you personally. Remove the emotions and make the correct decision.

I often thought that my ability to detach was nothing like a super power.

Attachments

Basically people need human connection and must find a way to fill this need, even when there are no other humans around. Think of Tom Hanks's character in the movie Cast Away, washed up alone on an island. His best and only friend is a volleyball on which he has drawn a face—with his blood.

The Dichotomy is that we need to be able to detach and know what attachments we need to have for human connection. Too much of either one is not a good thing at all.

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What is a promise?
A promise is a manifestation of intent to act or refrain from acting in a specified way at some point in the future. It's communicated by one party, to at least one additional party, to signify a commitment has been made.
Jean-jacques Rousseau said it clearly: Those that ae most slow in making a promise are the most faithful in the performance of it

The Toastmasters promise debate

Does the organization need to provide for the success of each club or is each member responsible for the overall success?

Is this the "Why" of its time?

Will giving and oath and a promise From every member of the organization result in the overall success?

The Toastmaster promise:

Attendance

Do projects according to guidelines

Provide useful feedback

Be friendly and support a atmosphere of growth

Serve in leadership when called upon

Respect

Bring guests

Follow the rules

Act on the core values Integrity, respect, service, and excellence.

Will giving and oath and a promise from every member of the organization result in the overall success? YES

The UC Moment : Make clear promises and keep them

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Things to prepare for in a hand off and avoid being the fire hose.

Think about the organization of the information

Daily weekly Monthly duties

Create a plan that gives that information…meeting daily? Weekly

Be prepared to make the best use of the time

What is a flow that would make sense to hand off the information

Steps that build upon each other

Don’t put the cart before the horse

Would shadowing be a way to introduce the activities?

Consider the level of expertise of the receiver

Often times your replacement is a greener version of yourself

Remember what its like to NOT Know

Allow time for self study and reflection / Provide Homework research

Review of the information already presented really irons the learning in.

While you are handing things off, check in, be emotionally intelligent to the receiver and most of all Remember what its like to NOT be New.

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Active listening is something we talk about a lot as far as being a good communicator

Some characteristics of active listeners include good eye contact, undivided attention, and patience. The active listener’s demeanor helps the speaker feel respected

Empathic listeningThis type of listening includes the mechanics of active listening and takes the listener a step further. The empathic listener begins with the intent to immerse themselves fully in the other person and what they are experiencing.

Actively being heard Being heard and ensuring that the other person understands your perspective is crucial for effective communication and building positive relationships. Here are five ways to help you achieve this:

Active Listening:To be heard, first, become an active listener. Pay full attention to the speaker, maintain eye contact, and avoid interrupting them. Show that you're engaged in the conversation by nodding, making verbal acknowledgments like "I see" or "I understand," and asking clarifying questions when needed. This not only encourages the other person to share their thoughts but also signals your willingness to understand their perspective.

Empathize:Empathy is a powerful tool for ensuring the other person knows you care about their viewpoint. Try to put yourself in their shoes and understand their emotions and feelings. Acknowledge their emotions with phrases like, "I can see why you might feel that way," or "It sounds like this situation is important to you." By acknowledging their emotions, you validate their feelings and create a more open and receptive environment for sharing your perspective.

Use "I" Statements:When expressing your perspective, use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. For example, say, "I feel that..." instead of "You always..." This shifts the focus from accusing or blaming the other person to expressing your feelings and thoughts. It helps to avoid defensiveness and encourages a more open dialogue.

Clarify and Summarize:To ensure the other person understands your perspective, summarize what they've said and ask for confirmation. This not only demonstrates that you've been actively listening but also gives them an opportunity to correct any misunderstandings. Likewise, when you express your viewpoint, encourage them to summarize it back to you. This two-way clarification ensures that both parties are on the same page.

Be Patient and Respectful:
Patience and respect are fundamental when trying to be heard and understood. Give the other person time to express themselves fully, even if you disagree. Avoid interrupting or becoming defensive. Wait for an appropriate moment to present your perspective calmly and respectfully. Show that you value their input and are willing to engage in a constructive conversation.

In summary, being heard and ensuring the other person understands your perspective involves active listening, empathy, using "I" statements, clarifying, and summarizing, and maintaining patience and respect throughout the conversation. These strategies create a more open and empathetic communication environment, fostering better understanding and stronger relationships.

The UC Moment for today is …… Establish yourself to actively be heard

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The Uncommon communicator is the individual that has the enlightenment to recognize in any situation whether communication has occurred. This uncommon communicator takes ownership of the conversation and possesses the skills to navigate and facilitate the conversation to mutual understanding.

Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator podcast where we bring enlightenment to the topic of communication.

Ed Gable has been my long time brother, I feel like I have known him all my life. Along with being family and my big brother we also shared the family trade of Millwright. Ed has went on through the apprenticeship and after being a Journeyman, he decided to get into Union Leadership. We both share a love of Communication, influence and negotiation. As a Union representative he understands the ins and outs of collective bargaining, but also carries enough tactical empathy to listen to and understand all sides of the table.

What is Collective bargaining?

Collective bargaining is a negotiation process in which a group of workers, often represented by a labor union, chooses a representative to advocate for better terms of employment.

This representative undertakes negotiations on their behalf.

Pros:

Gives workers a larger voice.

Improves quality of life

Encourages Cooperation

Cons:

Is not always fair representation.

Has potential for corruption

To collectively bargain in a personal situation, you become the spokesman or representative.

It’s better to have one clear voice in a situation, someone that can remain calm and communicate clearly and concisely.

The UC Moment for today is ……

Use your skills to collectively bargain and advocate for those around you.

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Enjoy this throwback and very popular episode - Both Hosts of The Uncommon Communicator are enjoying some time off:

Our Guest today William Bullock,

Negotiator for the UK Police and currently serves as the asset manager for the UK Ministry of Defense.

He has spent 13 years as the most experienced and qualified hostage negotiator in the UK and have produced a groundbreaking conflict management training course.

A Hostage Negotiator's specialist art of conflict management in gaining influence and developing collaborative working relationships has been crafted together in this unique course which has been created from the most advanced and specialist communication tactics in the world and adapted for the corporate environment.

We had a great conversation with William. His experience as a hostage negotiator is a great background that translates to all levels of communication. He has received numerous trainings that he has turned into his own ground breaking training. Please check out his website : https://www.negotias.com/

We learned that the idea of the Black Swan that Chris Voss talks about is also the Hook or the gateway. William shares a story of a scenario practice where a gentleman misses the hook, that was presented to him . If pots and pans are bubbling over, it may have nothing to do with the kitchen.

The topic turned to the idea of empathy. William tells a story about how empathy literally disarmed a knife wielding man. A powerful illustration of how our communication affects the world around us.

Find William on linkedIn and give him a follow : https://www.linkedin.com/in/william-bullock-3979161b0/

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What is parking brake communication?

Communication suppression is the holding back of information because of avoiding an uncomfortable conversation or to prove a point.

Everyone does it some degree . Driving with the parking brake on holds back our relationships.

How take the brake off?

1. Rip the band aide off before it explodes

a. Or before the issue dies

b. Apply the correct timing – Be tactful

c. Use clear and concise messaging.

d. Empathetic and active listening

2. There are consequences.

a. Be prepared for the results

b. You will be better either way if you apply the principles correctly.

The UC moment is:
Don't drive with the parking brake on

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Deflection is turning aside, off course or diversion.

We see it in two aspects:

Deflection of a question or avoiding an answer
Deflection of Praise

1. Deflection of a question or avoiding an answer

Who deflects and why?

People use deflection as a way to get someone else "off course," so to speak, if they're being criticized and feel the need to defend themselves. Typically, they'll deflect onto the person calling them out, though they can also shift blame to an entirely separate person.

What should you do when someone is redirecting?

· Remain Calm

· Redirect the conversation back to original topic.

· Address your concern. You may need to dig into a deeper issue.

· Let it go and move on.

Deflection of praise or compliments

It is hard for many people to take a compliment. There are a few reasons for that difficulty. The first is that most people do not want to be seen as vain or boastful. So, when someone compliments you, it creates a mild embarrassment in which the recipient feels like accepting the compliment will make them seem as if they are publicly acknowledging their own greatness—which isn’t far from bragging. In addition, many people have reservations about their own performance, and so they may not feel as though they deserve the compliment they have received.

· Doubting the sincerity of the compliment

· Low self-esteem, not wanting to appear or seen as proud.

· Being a perfectionist

How to best receive a compliment?

Respect the person giving you the compliment: Recognizthat people are taking a risk in saying what they appreciate about you and are putting themselves out by saying something they have seen in you they like. Connect with a feeling of gratitude and respect for them as you hear the compliment.
Accept the compliment: Simply say: “Thank you”.
Praise the compliment: You may wish to acknowledge the appreciation by saying something in praise of the compliment, such as: “Thank you, that means a lot to me to hear that”, or “Thank you, that’s kind of you to say that”.
Returning the compliment if it is appropriate: this is not to be done as a default response to a compliment, but you may feel something you wish to say in response.The example in the video is where someone says: “I’m really enjoying this conversation with you” and you respond with “Thank you, that’s really good to hear. I’m really enjoying talking with you as well.”

The UC Moment for today is …… Just say thanks

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Concise communication is one that effectively conveys the intended message using a minimum of words or information, without sacrificing clarity or essential details.

It is characterized by brevity, precision, and the ability to deliver the message succinctly, leaving no room for confusion or unnecessary elaboration.

Concise communication captures the essence of the message, distilling it down to its most vital components, making it easily understandable and digestible for the audience.

Why?

In today’s world brevity wins. Attention spans are shorter than ever.

I actually heard this this week: “ I guess what I’m trying to say is…” I think in this case I knew better what this person was trying to say then they did themselves.

To make communication more concise, here are five key points to keep in mind:

Identify your main message: Determine the core message or purpose of your communication. Clearly define what you want to convey or achieve, and focus on that central point throughout your communication.
Eliminate unnecessary information: Review your content and remove any irrelevant or redundant details. Stick to essential information that directly supports your main message. This helps to streamline your communication and prevent information overload.
Use clear and concise language: Opt for simple and straightforward language to convey your message. Avoid jargon, technical terms, or convoluted sentences that can confuse your audience. Use shorter sentences and words whenever possible to make your communication more accessible and easier to understand.
Structure your communication: Organize your thoughts and ideas in a logical manner. Use headings, bullet points, or subheadings to break down your communication into digestible sections. This not only helps you stay organized but also assists your audience in grasping the key points more efficiently.
Practice active listening: Communication is a two-way process. When engaging in a conversation or discussion, actively listen to others and be attentive to their responses. By paying attention to their input, you can adjust and tailor your communication, accordingly, ensuring that you address their needs and focus on what's relevant to them.

We do like the PREP Framework:

· Point: I believe we should take direction A

· Reason: We’ve received positive feedback about this approach

· Evidence: For instance, our president said he supports it

· Point: That’s why I believe direction A is best

Being clear and concise will set you apart as a communicator. The ability to talk to end doesn’t make you a good communicator or even a good friend.

The UC Moment for today is …… Be concise , its great advice

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In this short episode, your hosts reflect back to their most used communication advice.
Brandon likes to rely on the " protip" and James likes to remain calm and use mirrors.

The Use of "protip" is a great way to Share your knowledge without making the other person think that you are condescending and allows you to spread your influence.

Brandon is a great conversationalist , but shares a story where he couldn't make the connections. even if you do everything right, it doesn't always go the way you wanted it to.
Mirrors

· A real life Jedi mind trick

Gives you the ability to disagree without being disagreeable

· Can be awkward at first and takes practice

· Repeat the last word or few words and wait

· Encourages empathy, bonding, keeps people talking buys you time and often reveals your counterpart’s strategy

The key is to find something that works and have some fun with it.

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Assumptions and inferences are related concepts but have distinct differences. Here's a breakdown of their differences:

Assumptions:

Definition: Assumptions are beliefs or statements that are taken for granted or accepted as true without concrete evidence or proof.
Basis: Assumptions are often based on personal beliefs, prior experiences, cultural norms, or generalizations.
Lack of evidence: Assumptions are made without sufficient evidence or data to support them.
Subjective: Assumptions can be subjective and vary from person to person, as they are influenced by individual perspectives, biases, and preconceived notions.
Role: Assumptions serve as starting points or premises upon which further reasoning or decision-making is based. They can guide our thinking but are not necessarily proven or verified.

Inferences:

Definition: Inferences involve drawing conclusions or making predictions based on available evidence, reasoning, or logical deductions.
Basis: Inferences are based on observable facts, data, observations, or information that is directly or indirectly provided.
Evidence-based: Inferences are made using logical reasoning and supported by evidence or a logical connection between premises and conclusions.
Objective: While some subjectivity can be involved in interpreting evidence, inferences strive to be objective and follow logical principles.
Role: Inferences are used to go beyond the explicit information and make educated guesses or interpretations. They help bridge gaps in knowledge or fill in missing details based on logical reasoning.

In summary, assumptions are subjective beliefs or statements made without strong evidence, while inferences are logical conclusions drawn from available evidence or information. Assumptions can influence the process of making inferences, as they may provide starting points or underlying beliefs. However, inferences are more evidence-based and objective, relying on logical reasoning and observable facts.

The UC Moment for today is …… Practice inference for more accurate interpretation of the facts

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Critical thinking is the process of actively and skillfully analyzing, evaluating, and synthesizing information or arguments to form well-reasoned judgments or decisions. It involves the ability to think independently, objectively, and logically, considering multiple perspectives and carefully examining evidence or information before accepting or rejecting it.

Here are the key Skills of Critical thinking :

Analysis: The ability to break down complex information or arguments into their constituent parts, examining them systematically and logically. This involves identifying key elements, relationships, patterns, and underlying assumptions. Evaluation: The capacity to assess the credibility, relevance, and quality of information, arguments, or evidence. It involves critically examining the strengths and weaknesses of different perspectives, claims, or solutions and making judgments based on reasoned evaluation.
Interpretation: The aptitude for accurately understanding and explaining the meaning and significance of information, data, or phenomena. It requires careful reading, listening, or observing to comprehend the context, implications, and nuances, while avoiding misinterpretation or oversimplification
Open-mindedness: Being receptive to different perspectives, considering diverse viewpoints, and being willing to challenge and revise one's own beliefs based on evidence and rational analysis. Have true Curiosity
Communication: Critical thinking supports effective communication. It helps individuals articulate their thoughts clearly, organize their ideas coherently, and present arguments or evidence in a logical and persuasive manner. It also enables active listening, thoughtful questioning, and the ability to engage in constructive dialogue.

The UC Moment for today is …… Critical thinking is a foundational skill and needs practice and intention. Evaluation + Inference = Communication through critical thinking . Per Brandon...Communication is Math

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According to the Oxford English Dictionary, common sense is a good sense in practical matters.

Aristotle explained such operations with reference to a higher-order perceptual capacity which unites and monitors the five senses. This capacity is known as the ‘common sense’

Your common sense is your natural ability to make good judgments and to behave in a practical and sensible way.

Not everyone will have the same definition of common sense. One person's idea of common sense may differ from the next person's idea. Imagine vacationing in a foreign country where you are unfamiliar with the native customs and language.

Let’s look at common sense from a philosophical and an academic approach:
Philosophical perspective:

· Aristotle: Aristotle viewed common sense, or "koinē aisthēsis" in Greek, as the ability to integrate and interpret sensory perceptions from different senses. He believed that common sense allows us to perceive and understand the unity of our sensory experiences.

· René Descartes: Descartes regarded common sense, or "bon sens" in French, as an innate and universal human faculty. He defined it as the capacity to judge correctly and make practical decisions based on sound reasoning.

· Confucianism: In Confucian philosophy, common sense, or "zhongyong" in Chinese, is associated with moral reasoning and harmony. It involves understanding and following the "middle way" between extremes, cultivating balance, and adhering to ethical norms.

Academic perspective:

Cognitive skills play a crucial role in developing and applying common sense. Here are three key cognitive skills necessary for common sense: observation, inference, and problem-solving.

Observation: requires practice and mindfulness

· Be present and attentive.

· Slow down, use all your senses.

· Look for patterns and anomalies.
Inference: your ability to draw logical conclusions

· Use prior knowledge.

· Analyze cause and effect.

· Seek feedback.

Problem-solving: application and process

· Critical thinking is a foundational skill for effective problem solving.

· Creativity and innovation are essential in finding unique and unconventional solutions to problems.

· Collaboration and communication: problem-solving skills involve working together with others, leveraging diverse perspectives, and engaging in constructive dialogue.

The UC Moment is summed up in...Common sense doesn't exist. Find those that share your perspective, and then you will have something in common.

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Come celebrate our conversation with Jennifer lacy! She is the Building forward - lean practice leader for Robins and Morton. Founded in 1946, Robins & Morton is a privately held construction company that is one of the leading healthcare general contractors and healthcare construction management firms in the nation. From new hospitals and renovations to stand alone outpatient centers and facility upgrades, we have completed over 8 billion in healthcare projects over the past ten years.

Besides being a master facilitator , Jenn is also co-host of the NoBS with Jenn and Jess and Co-author and illustrator of Lean and Love. https://www.amazon.com/Lean-Love-Letters-Relationships-RipplesOfImpact/dp/B0B2TYD58G A #noBS look into how your relationships create #ripplesofimpact

In this episode we dive into the art and practice of asking questions, evaluating and coaching through The Emotional Bungee jumpers. https://www.depthbuilder.com/emotional-bungee-jumpers-Group1

What got you here, Won't get you there. - Jenn Lacy

The UC Moment is to Blacksmith on your sword of soft skills

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Decision fatigue is a psychological phenomenon surrounding a person's ability or capacity to make decisions. It is also called ego depletion. The theory surrounding decision fatigue is that a human's ability to make decisions can get worse after making many decisions, as their brain will be more fatigued.

Whether you're making breakfast or deciding what to wear in the morning, your brain is making upward of 35,000 decisions each day, according to Eva Krockow, lecturer at the University of Leicester in the United Kingdom.

Today we will cover:

· What to do if you are experiencing decision fatigue

· What are some steps to reduce the decision load.

Decision fatigue is setting in:

· Recognize the symptoms.

· Difficulty making decisions.

· Procrastination.

· Impulsive decisions

· Irritability

· Lack of focus

· Poor judgment

· Reduced willpower

· Admit it to yourself.

· Take a break.

o Taking breaks between decision-making sessions can help you reset your mind and reduce decision fatigue.

Steps to reduce your decision-making load:

Simplify your routine: Simplifying your routine can help reduce the number of decisions you need to make daily. This could mean creating a meal plan for the week or setting a consistent morning routine.
Ask “what would you do?: Many times those that are coming to you for a decision already have an answer in mind. Use their brainpower to review the facts of the case, hear out their decision and weigh it against your experience.
Delegate your decisions: Use the leader leader style of leadership. This is one of the best ways to train future leaders and reduce your decision load by having your direct reports show up with the facts at hand and their recommendation or decision.

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Our Guest today William Bullock,

Negotiator for the UK Police and currently serves as the asset manager for the UK Ministry of Defense.

He has spent 13 years as the most experienced and qualified hostage negotiator in the UK and have produced a groundbreaking conflict management training course.

A Hostage Negotiator's specialist art of conflict management in gaining influence and developing collaborative working relationships has been crafted together in this unique course which has been created from the most advanced and specialist communication tactics in the world and adapted for the corporate environment.

We had a great conversation with William. His experience as a hostage negotiator is a great background that translates to all levels of communication. He has received numerous trainings that he has turned into his own ground breaking training. Please check out his website : https://www.negotias.com/

We learned that the idea of the Black Swan that Chris Voss talks about is also the Hook or the gateway. William shares a story of a scenario practice where a gentleman misses the hook, that was presented to him . If pots and pans are bubbling over, it may have nothing to do with the kitchen.

The topic turned to the idea of empathy. William tells a story about how empathy literally disarmed a knife wielding man. A powerful illustration of how our communication affects the world around us.

Find William on linkedIn and give him a follow : https://www.linkedin.com/in/william-bullock-3979161b0/

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Mindfulness can be seen as a tool for developing greater self-awareness. By being present and attentive to our inner experience, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our motivations. This can help us make more conscious and intentional choices, and lead a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

An analogy to explain the relationship between mindfulness and self-awareness is to think of a mirror. Just as a mirror reflects back an image of our physical appearance, mindfulness can reflect back an image of our inner experience - our thoughts, emotions, and sensations. By being mindful, we can become more aware of our internal experience and develop a greater understanding of ourselves.

Another
analogy is to think of a GPS device. Just as a GPS device helps us navigate
through unfamiliar territory, mindfulness can help us navigate our internal
landscape. By being mindful, we can become more aware of our thoughts,
emotions, and sensations, and use this information to make more conscious and
intentional choices.

A third
analogy is to think of a flashlight. Just as a flashlight illuminates a dark
room, mindfulness can illuminate the hidden corners of our mind. By being
mindful, we can shine a light on our thoughts and emotions, and bring them into
our conscious awareness. This can help us identify patterns and habits that may
be holding us back, and make positive changes in our lives.

Here are some ways that mindfulness can improve your communication:

1-Better listening: When you are fully present and engaged in the moment, you are better able to listen actively to what others are saying. You can pick up on nuances in tone and body language, which can help you understand their message more fully.

2- Improved empathy: Mindfulness can help you tune into your own emotions and become more aware of the emotions of others. This can help you develop greater empathy and understanding, which is essential for effective communication.

3- Reduced stress: Mindfulness can help reduce stress and anxiety, which can improve your ability to communicate effectively. When you are less stressed, you are better able to stay calm and focused in communication, even in difficult situations.

4- Increased self-awareness: Mindfulness can help you become more aware of your own communication style, including your tone of voice, body language, and choice of words. By being aware of how you communicate, you can make adjustments to improve your communication skills.

5- Improved conflict resolution: Mindfulness can help you approach conflict in a more constructive way. By being mindful of your own thoughts and emotions, you can be more aware of your triggers and respond in a more measured way, reducing the chances of escalation.

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Reciprocity in its simplest terms refers to a give-and-take relationship where two or more people exchange information or actions in a balanced and mutually beneficial way.

The automatic response that reciprocity creates is a feeling of obligation to return a favor or provide a similar action or information in response to what was given. When someone gives us something, we feel a natural urge to give something back in return.

To leverage this automatic response in conversations, it can be helpful to start by giving something of value to the other person. This can be in the form of sharing information, providing a resource, or offering help in some way. By doing so, you create a sense of obligation in the other person to reciprocate, which can lead to a more productive and engaging conversation.

It's important to note, however, that leveraging reciprocity in conversations should not be done in a manipulative way or with the expectation of receiving something in return. Instead, it should be done with a genuine desire to create a balanced exchange of information and build a mutually beneficial relationship with the other person. By using reciprocity in a genuine and authentic way, you can create a more positive and productive communication environment.

Example:

The game of catch: Reciprocity in communication can be compared to playing catch with someone. Each person takes turns throwing and catching the ball, creating a balanced exchange. If one person were to keep the ball to themselves, the game would not work. Similarly, in communication, if one person dominates the conversation and does not give the other person a chance to speak, the conversation becomes unbalanced and ineffective.

Here are some of the main points to keep in mind regarding reciprocity in communication:

Two-way communication: Reciprocity requires a back-and-forth exchange of information between two or more individuals. It is not just about one person transmitting information while the other passively receives it.
Active listening: Effective reciprocity in communication requires active listening, which means paying attention to what the other person is saying, asking clarifying questions, and providing feedback.
Trust: Trust is an essential element of reciprocity in communication. When individuals trust each other, they are more likely to engage in open and honest communication.
Respect: Mutual respect is another key component of reciprocity. Individuals need to respect each other's viewpoints and opinions, even if they disagree.
Shared understanding: Effective communication requires a shared understanding of the topic being discussed. Reciprocity helps to build this shared understanding by allowing individuals to clarify their thoughts and ideas and ask for clarification from others.
Positive outcomes: When reciprocity is present in communication, it can lead to positive outcomes such as increased understanding, improved relationships, and better decision-making.

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The Yes...And method is an improvisational technique developed by The Second City, a renowned comedy theater and training center in Chicago. The technique is based on the principle of accepting and building on your partner's ideas in an improvised scene.

The "Yes" in Yes...And refers to accepting and acknowledging what your scene partner has said or done, rather than denying it or contradicting it. The "And" in Yes...And refers to building on your partner's idea by adding your own contribution to the scene.

By following the Yes...And method, performers can create an environment of collaboration, trust, and support. This technique helps improvisers to stay present in the moment, listen actively, and respond creatively to their partners.

The Yes...And method is not only useful for improvisation but can also be applied to other areas of life, such as business, education, and personal relationships, to foster teamwork, innovation, and communication.

Here are five main ways the Yes...And concept could foster teamwork, innovation, and communication:

Encourages Collaboration: By accepting and building on each other's ideas, the Yes...And concept fosters a collaborative environment that promotes teamwork. For example, during a brainstorming session, team members can use Yes...And to build on each other's ideas and come up with innovative solutions.
Sparks Innovation: The Yes...And concept encourages people to think creatively and take risks. By embracing new ideas and perspectives, team members can develop more innovative and original solutions. For example, a company can use Yes...And to create a culture that encourages experimentation and new approaches.
Builds Trust: The Yes...And concept promotes active listening and non-judgmental responses. By valuing and acknowledging everyone's contributions, team members can build trust and respect for each other. For example, during a team meeting, a Yes...And approach can help team members feel heard and valued.
Enhances Communication: The Yes...And concept requires clear communication and active listening skills. By practicing these skills, team members can improve their communication and avoid misunderstandings. For example, during a negotiation, a Yes...And approach can help both sides feel heard and find common ground.
Increases Adaptability: The Yes...And concept encourages flexibility and adaptability to changing circumstances. By embracing change and uncertainty, team members can develop resilience and agility. For example, during a crisis, a Yes...And approach can help a team find creative solutions and adapt to new challenges.

The UC moment : You can be agreeable with out agreeing . Life is really an improve...be yourself.

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Premature elaboration refers to the tendency of a person to provide excessive or unnecessary detail when communicating information. Here are some tips to avoid and correct this behavior:

Plan ahead: Before you communicate information to your direct reports, take a moment to plan out what you want to say. Decide what information is necessary to convey your message and what details can be omitted.
Keep it concise: When communicating information, it is important to be clear and concise. Stick to the main points and avoid going off on tangents or providing unnecessary details.
Consider your audience: Different people have different communication styles and preferences. Consider the needs and preferences of your direct reports when communicating with them. Some people may prefer more detail, while others may prefer a brief overview.
Practice active listening: When communicating with your direct reports, take the time to listen to their questions and concerns. This will help you better understand their needs and provide them with the information they need.

The advantages of using the correct time and place to give information to direct reports are numerous. By providing information at the right time and in the right place, you can:

Increase productivity: When employees have the information they need to do their jobs, they can work more efficiently and effectively.
Build trust: When you provide information in a timely and appropriate manner, you demonstrate your commitment to your employees and build trust.
Reduce stress: When employees have the information they need, they are less likely to feel stressed or overwhelmed.
Improve decision-making: When employees have access to the right information, they can make better decisions and take more informed actions.

Overall, providing information at the right time and place is a critical component of effective leadership. By avoiding premature elaboration and being strategic in your communication, you can build stronger relationships with your direct reports and help them achieve their goals.

The UC Moment: You can avoid premature elaboration by being more strategic in your conversations.

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Why do we use the words "brutal" and "honest" together?

If we examine the definitions, brutal means “savagely violent,” and honest means “morally correct.” Interesting, right? How two very different things are associated so closely together.

In our society, the term “brutally honest” is often accepted as a positive quality. Take a second to pause and think about your dealings with someone who is “brutally honest.” Is it really a good thing?

The Brutally Honest Conundrum

When someone declares themselves “brutally honest,” they get an easy out. By adding the word "honest" after "brutal," they are informing you that they are about to hurt you, but that you should not experience any hurt because they're just being honest. That is a twist that's not only confusing and unfair, but it's also likely to make you feel that you're wrong for experiencing the hurt. That's gaslighting.

It’s the equivalent of phrases like these:

Not to be rude, but…
No offense, but…
You wanted my opinion, so you can’t be upset.

And when these phrases are spoken, the person gets an unfair opportunity to say what they think or feel without taking the time to formulate their message in a more thoughtful way.

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“Interesting fabric; I don’t know how you can wear that,” Stacy says to her friend Jen.
“You always have stories that drag on and on,” Steve says to his wife.
“I can tell you’ve been eating a lot of carbs lately,” Natalia’s mother tells her.

The brutally honest are unfiltered. We know exactly what they’re thinking as they’re thinking it. While sometimes it can be nice to not have to guess what someone is thinking, most times we don’t need to hear each and every thought the people around us have.

The receiver of the brutally honest message is left dealing with the hard “truth” alone because the curt way it’s delivered does not offer a safe space to keep the conversation going.

What if there’s a way around this? What if there’s a way to deliver an honest message without causing more damage and hurt? Luckily enough, there is. It’s "truth with compassion."

Truth With Compassion

Truth with compassion involves expressing your truth with the intention of promoting awareness rather than hurt. When a message is perceived as hurtful, the person you’re attempting to communicate with is more likely to shut down or go on the defensive. Basically, brutal honesty shuts down communication. Truth with compassion encourages communication.

Here’s how to do it:
1. Stop and think about the message you want to communicate. Understand what you want to express before vocalizing it.

Reflect upon who you are communicating with. What is their personality like? Do they have certain sensitivities? How can you express yourself in a way that they will hear you?
Pick the best time and place to communicate the words you’ve decided are most effective.

The Uc Moment : Timing , Constructiveness and What is your intention?

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An uncomfortable conversation is defined by the difficulty or sensitivity of the topic being discussed and the emotional responses it evokes in the participants.

Generally, an uncomfortable conversation involves a topic that is difficult to discuss, such as personal conflicts, taboo subjects, or controversial issues. It may also involve challenging someone's beliefs or actions, discussing sensitive topics like politics or religion, or addressing topics that evoke strong emotions like fear, anger, or sadness.

1.Having the conversation

2.Navigating through or out of the conversation

Beginning the conversation can be challenging but once you get it started you will realize it was worth it.

Know your goal.

If you go into the conversation with out an expected outcome, than you can’t be disappointed with the results.

Acknowledge the difficulty of the conversation: Recognizing the potential discomfort of the conversation can help to create a sense of empathy and understanding between the participants. For example, you might say "I know this is a difficult conversation to have, but I think it's important that we address this issue together."
Start with a positive statement: Beginning the conversation with a positive statement or observation can help to establish a constructive tone and create a sense of mutual respect. For example, you might say something like "I appreciate your perspective on this issue, and I'd like to share my own thoughts with you."
Use "I" statements: Using "I" statements can help to avoid sounding accusatory or confrontational. By focusing on your own feelings and experiences, you can express your concerns without placing blame on the other person. For example, you might say "I feel uncomfortable when we talk about this topic, and I'd like to discuss it further with you."
Ask open-ended questions: Asking open-ended questions can help to engage the other person in a dialogue and encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings. For example, you might ask "How do you feel about this situation?" or "What are your thoughts on this topic?"

If you are in the conversation, maybe you didn’t start it, how do you navigate through for best results or just get out of there?

Stay calm and focused: In any difficult conversation, it's important to remain calm and focused. Take deep breaths, remind yourself of your goals, and avoid getting caught up in the other person's emotions.
Listen actively: Active listening is important in any conversation, but it's especially crucial in uncomfortable ones. Listen carefully to what the other person is saying, and try to understand their perspective.
Show empathy and build rapport: Empathy and rapport-building techniques can help to create a sense of connection and understanding between you and the other person. Show that you respect their feelings and opinions and look for common ground.
Use positive framing: When discussing a difficult topic, use positive language to focus on potential solutions and positive outcomes. Reframe the conversation in a way that highlights mutual benefits.
Use strategic silence: Silence can be a powerful tool in any conversation. Use pauses to give yourself time to think, and to encourage the other person to continue speaking. Silence can also help to create a sense of reflection and introspection.

Always have in your preparation a way to get out.

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Heuristics

Heuristics are mental shortcuts for solving problems in a quick way that delivers a result that is sufficient enough to be useful given time constraints. Investors and financial professionals use a heuristic approach to speed up analysis and investment decisions.

Why do we use heuristics?

The human brain and all its processes—including heuristics—Developed over eons. Since mental shortcuts save both cognitive energy and time, they likely provided an advantage to those who relied on them.

The study of heuristics was developed by renowned psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky. Starting in the 1970s, Kahneman and Tversky identified several different kinds of heuristics, most notably the availability heuristic and the anchoring heuristic.

Since then, researchers have continued their work and identified many different kinds of heuristics, including: Homework, look into the other forms of heuristics

Familiarity heuristic

Fundamental attribution error

Representativeness heuristic

Satisficing

Let’s discuss two of the most notable

What is the availability heuristic?

The availability heuristic describes the mental shortcut in which someone estimates whether something is likely to occur based on how readily examples come to mind. People tend to overestimate the probability of plane crashes, homicides, and shark attacks, for instance, because examples of such events are easily remembered.

What is the anchoring heuristic?

The anchoring heuristic, or anchoring bias, occurs when someone relies more heavily on the first piece of information learned when making a choice, even if it's not the most relevant. In such cases, anchoring is likely to steer individuals wrong.

UC Moment : Like the Pirates code, Heuristics is more like guidelines than actual rules.

How does this affect the Uncommon Communicator? Seeing this in yourself first but also understanding this in your conversations will help you better understand your counterparts

Also, use this for quick decision making.

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This week we welcome our guest Felipe Engineer Manriquez https://www.linkedin.com/in/engineerfelipe?miniProfileUrn=urn%3Ali%3Afs_miniProfile%3AACoAAADDa68B6mm9VG0gSMmdeJITzyum01TPsf4&lipi=urn%3Ali%3Apage%3Ad_flagship3_search_srp_all%3BJwvGHIMiSWa3f71xJZgwxQ%3D%3D

Scrum is a great framework for communication. Felipe shares some great stories and nuggets.
Make sure you check out the EBFC show. The Easier Better For Construction podcast. https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-ebfc-show/

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The Uncommon communicator is the individual that has the enlightenment to recognize in any situation whether communication has occurred. This uncommon communicator takes ownership of the conversation and possess the skills to navigate and facilitate the conversation to mutual understanding.

Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator podcast, your host James Gable and Brandon Thompson are here to bring enlightenment to the topic of communication.

In this week's episode we discuss Ego. What it is and how to guard our conversations.

Ego, in psychoanalytic theory, that portion of the human personality which is experienced as the “self” or “I” and is in contact with the external world through perception. It is said to be the part that remembers, evaluates, plans, and in other ways is responsive to and acts in the surrounding physical and social world. – At least is Sigmund Freud’s definition

Egotism is defined as the drive to maintain and enhance favorable views of oneself and generally features an inflated opinion of one's personal features and importance distinguished by a person's amplified vision of oneself and self-importance. It often includes intellectual, physical, social, and other overestimations. The egotist has an overwhelming sense of the centrality of the "me" regarding their personal qualities.

First let’s talk Ego:

· Ego helps establish moral standards

· Becomes a defense mechanism

· Isn’t overwhelmed by its own drives but can direct them into useful channels

· A lack of ego can lead to an inferiority complex , the individual becomes less capable of productive work.

· Ego weakness underlies the inflated sense of self. Leading to Egotism

Egotism:

Egotism is closely related to an egocentric love for one's imagined self or narcissism – indeed some would say "by egotism we may envisage a kind of socialized narcissism". Egotists have a strong tendency to talk about themselves in a self-promoting fashion, and they may well be arrogant and boastful with a Grandiose sense of their own importance. Their inability to recognize the accomplishments of others leaves them profoundly self-promoting; while sensitivity to criticism may lead, on the egotist's part, Narcissistic rage at a sense of insult.

Top 5 ego based communication killers :

1) Interrupting when someone is in the middle of a thought.

2) Interjecting Stories into other’s comments or discussions.

3) The 90 Second Rule. – Has the other person spoke in the last 90 seconds

4) Disconnected Comments

5) Disregarding others' opinions

The UC Moment :

Check yourself before you wreck yourself

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Giving or writing a review is very different from feedback or giving an evaluation. A review is for the masses. Your giving your review to others so you can either enrich them, avise them or plain tell them to look the other way. This falls clearly into a communication category and requires some skills and tactics.

Here are 8 tips on giving a great review :

Provide useful, constructive feedback. Constructive is the operative word. If its a positive rivier or its about telling a hard truth or opinion, it can be provided in a manner that is helpful.
Be detailed, specific and honest. Details are important. A simple ...It's good doesn't benefit anyone. Give specific details of why you liked or disliked it. and most of all be honest.
Keep it civil and friendly. There is no reason to let your emotions get in the way. A lot of times , reviews that are just rude or angry get thrown out with the overly glossy ones.
Make sure you are reviewing the correct company, domain or URL. Many bad reviews have been applied to the wrong recipient.
Talk about a range of elements. You can talk about the product itself, but also include customer service. Having a bad product replaced with fantastic customer service will turn a bad review into a positive experience. share it.
Don't get personal. Leave out names, emails or phone numbers. No reason to drag it into the mud ( refer to #3)
Update your review as needed. Sometime the review is written after a bad experience and the owner goes the extra mile to make it up. Celebrate the humanness of that.
Proofread your review. A poorly written review will be tossed out by a lot if people, including this Uncommon communicator.

This tips should improve your ability to give and receive reviews with the right intention. Adding another tool to your toolbox of ownership of your conversations.

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The Why and the how

Why :

According to a study by the Harvard Business Review, workers who prioritize their tasks are 90% more likely to be successful in achieving their goals.
A study by the American Psychological Association found that people who prioritize their tasks are less likely to experience stress and burnout.
According to a survey by the online project management tool, Wrike, setting priorities can increase productivity by as much as 25%.

By adopting habits and strategies that promote effective prioritization, individuals can achieve their goals and reduce stress and burnout. The statistics mentioned above provide evidence that prioritization is a valuable tool for success.

How:

Focus on one thing at a time: It can be tempting to multitask, but research has shown that multitasking can lead to decreased productivity and lower quality work. Instead, focus on one task at a time and complete it before moving on to the next one.
Set clear goals: Setting clear goals can help you stay focused and motivated. When you have a clear understanding of what you want to accomplish, it is easier to prioritize your tasks accordingly.
Use time-management techniques: Time-management techniques, such as the Pomodoro Technique, can help you stay focused and productive by breaking your workday into manageable chunks of time.
Prioritize tasks based on urgency and importance: As mentioned in my previous answer, it's important to prioritize tasks based on their urgency and importance. This can help you ensure that you are completing tasks in a timely and effective manner. Triage is a great term for this. Service the gunshot wound over the sprained ankle and the others will work themselves out.

Learn to say "no": Saying "no" can be difficult, but it is an important skill to develop if you want to prioritize effectively. If you are constantly taking on more than you can handle, it can be difficult to focus on the tasks that are most important.

What is the Pomodoro Technique?

The Pomodoro Technique is a time-management method that involves breaking work into intervals, typically 25 minutes in length, separated by short breaks. Here are the key points of the Pomodoro Technique:

Choose a task to work on
Set a timer for 25 minutes
Work on the task until the timer ring
Take a short break (usually 5-10 minutes)
After every fourth Pomodoro, take a longer break (usually 15-30 minutes)

Repeat the cycle until the task is completed

Here's how the Pomodoro Technique can be applied to setting priorities:

Create a to-do list
Determine the urgency and importance of each task
Prioritize tasks based on urgency and importance: Use the Pomodoro Technique to work on your highest-priority tasks first.
Use the breaks to evaluate progress
Stay focused: During each Pomodoro, stay focused on the task at hand. Avoid distractions, such as social media or email, that can interrupt your concentration and derail your progress.

By using the Pomodoro Technique to prioritize tasks, individuals can break their workday into manageable chunks of time, focus on their most important tasks, and avoid becoming overwhelmed or distracted.

The UC Moment: You need pie, Trust in the pie

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In this episode The Uncommon Communicator returns to the interview format. WE are still trying to work out the kinks.

Our Guest Dan Faucher is a Certified Master Facilitator for Lean Design and Construction, facilitating, training and coaching dozens of companies and agencies in various principles, tools and techniques. He is also the co-author of a new book, Lean Project Delivery: Building Championship Project Teams.

Listen in on this episode as we dive into communication, body language and a master facilitator story that will have you on the edge of your seat.

You can check Dan's LinkedIn page here : https://www.linkedin.com/in/danzpage/

Here is a link to the Tom Brady article: https://leandesignconstructionblog.com/?s=Tom+Brady

Please connect with Dan and let us know you thoughts on this week Podcast . Email us at theuncommoncommunicator@outlook.com

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Giving and receiving feedback is a truly a skill. The results on both ends of the exchange will brings growth, breathes life and trust into the relationship.

Today we will look at:

· Giving effective feedback

· Receiving feedback

Top 4 ways to give feedback

Be specific: When giving feedback, make sure it is clear, concise, and specific to the situation. Avoid vague or general statements and instead focus on specific actions or behaviors that need improvement.
Focus on the behavior, not the person: Feedback should focus on actions or behaviors rather than personal characteristics. It is important to avoid making negative comments about the individual and instead focus on what can be improved.
Be timely: Feedback is most effective when it is given in a timely manner, as close as possible to the event being evaluated. Delaying feedback may lead to confusion or the loss of important information.
Use a balanced approach: Feedback should be balanced, combining positive reinforcement with constructive criticism. This helps the recipient feel encouraged and motivated while also addressing areas for improvement. Emphasize the positive and offer suggestions for how to improve in the future. The sandwich method isn’t always the best. Start with the constructive criticism and end it on a positive. Otherwise the listener will be expecting the bad news after the fluffy fake positive that you started with.

Best situations to provide constructive feedback:

Performance reviews
One-on-one meetings
After a specific project or task

Worst situations to provide constructive feedback:

In front of others
When emotions are high
In a crisis situation:

How to receive feedback :

Be open-minded: Approach feedback with an open mind and a willingness to learn and grow. Avoid getting defensive or taking feedback personally. Instead, focus on the message being conveyed and how you can use it to improve.
Set aside personal emotions: It can be helpful to take a step back and detach yourself from the situation emotionally. This allows you to better understand and process the feedback without getting caught up in feelings of anger, frustration, or disappointment.
Ask questions: If you don't understand the feedback, don't be afraid to ask questions for clarification. This can help you gain a deeper understanding of the feedback and ensure that you are interpreting it correctly.
Be self-reflective: Before receiving feedback, take some time to reflect on your own performance and areas for improvement. This can help you be more receptive to the feedback and can provide a starting point for future growth and development.
Show gratitude: Acknowledge the person providing the feedback and express gratitude for their time and effort. This can help maintain a positive relationship and can encourage future feedback in the future.

The UC Moment : Start with trust, trust the feedback

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Giving good directions requires you to:

· Understand the listener.

· Be skilled at giving directions

Why do some have an issue with following directions?

Limited reading or comprehension skills: Some individuals may struggle with understanding written instructions, due to a lack of literacy skills or difficulty with the language being used.
Cognitive or learning disabilities: Some individuals may have difficulty processing information, following sequences of steps, or retaining information, due to conditions such as ADHD, dyslexia, or traumatic brain injury.
Limited prior knowledge or experience: Some individuals may have difficulty understanding instructions for tasks that are new or unfamiliar to them, as they may not have the necessary background knowledge or experience.
Difficulty with abstract concepts: Some individuals may have difficulty understanding instructions that involve abstract concepts or ideas.
Lack of attention or focus: Some individuals may have difficulty understanding instructions due to distractions or other competing demands on their attention, they may not be fully listening or paying attention to the instructions.

It's important to note that everyone has different abilities, experiences, and learning styles that may affect their ability to understand instructions. Being aware of these differences, providing clear, concise and simple instructions and providing additional resources or explanations when needed can help to ensure that the instructions are understood and followed.

What are some skills we could use to better give directions?

Be clear and concise: Use direct and simple language when giving instructions and avoid using unnecessary or confusing words or phrases.
Use visual aids: Use diagrams, images, or other visual aids to supplement the instructions, as this can help to make the information more easily understood.
Provide examples: Give real-life examples or scenarios to help illustrate the instructions and make them more relatable to the listener.
Encourage active engagement: Ask questions and encourage the listener to ask questions to ensure that they understand the instructions and to check for understanding.
Break it down: Break the instructions down into smaller, manageable steps. This makes it easier for the listener to understand and follow the instructions, and can help to avoid confusion and mistakes.

It's important to note that the best way to give directions or instructions will vary depending on the situation, the audience and the task at hand. These five methods are generally effective but adapting to the context and being aware of the listener's needs and abilities is always recommended to make sure the instructions are understood and followed.

The UC Moment: Adapt to the context and be aware of the listeners needs and abilities.

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The problem isn’t always the instructions’ fault:

· Why do some people have difficulty following directions?

· What are some tools to help us be better at following directions?

Limited reading or comprehension skills: Some individuals may struggle with understanding written instructions, due to a lack of literacy skills or difficulty with the language being used.
Cognitive or learning disabilities: Some individuals may have difficulty processing information, following sequences of steps, or retaining information, due to conditions such as ADHD, dyslexia, or traumatic brain injury.
Lack of focus or attention: Some individuals may have difficulty following instructions due to distractions or other competing demands on their attention.
Limited prior knowledge or experience: Some individuals may have difficulty following instructions for tasks that are new or unfamiliar to them, as they may not have the necessary background knowledge or experience to understand the instructions.
Difficulty with abstract concepts: Some individuals may have difficulty understanding instructions that involve abstract concepts or ideas.
Stress or anxiety: Some individuals may have difficulty following instructions due to stress or anxiety, which can make it harder to concentrate and process information.
Lack of motivation: Some individuals may not be motivated to follow instructions if they do not see the relevance or value of the task.

It's important to understand that people have different learning styles, abilities and experiences that may affect their ability to follow instructions and that it's important to be sensitive to the unique needs of each person.

How can we Improve?

When reading complex instructions, the best way to start is by doing the following:

Preview the instructions: Before reading the instructions in detail, take a quick scan of the document to get an overall understanding of its structure and content. Look for headings, subheadings, and highlighted information.
Identify the main goal: Understand what you are trying to accomplish by reading the instructions. Make sure you have a clear understanding of what is expected of you.
Read actively: Pay attention to important details, and actively engage with the text by asking questions and making connections.
Take notes: Jot down key points, important details, and any questions that come to mind. This will help you stay organized and focused.
Break it down: Break the instructions down into smaller, manageable chunks. This will help you to focus on one step at a time and will make it easier to understand.
Don't be afraid to ask for help: If you are unsure about something, don't hesitate to ask for clarification from the person who provided the instructions or from an expert in the field.
Check for understanding: Before proceeding to the next step, make sure you understand what you're supposed to do and why. This will help you to avoid confusion and mistakes later on.

It's important to keep in mind that taking the time to read and understand complex instructions before starting a task will save you time and effort in the long run.

The UC Moment : Check you ego at the garage door . Scan all of the instructions before starting, break it down into manageable chunks

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Decision makers are executive level stakeholders within a company that are responsible for making decisions and managing resources within their scope.

There are so many ways on the internet to get to the decision maker

Here is or summation of some best practices and what to look for in the individual you are chatting with

We are really looking at 3 levels

The gatekeeper
The idea person or lackey doing research
The decision maker

The gatekeeper:

A gatekeeper is a person who controls or regulates access to a decision maker or other key individual. They act as a barrier between the decision maker and external parties, such as salespeople, recruiters, or other individuals seeking to make contact. The gatekeeper's role is to filter and manage the flow of information, calls, and requests that reach the decision maker, and to protect their time and attention. They can be found in many different organizations, from businesses to government agencies. They can be either formal or informal gatekeepers, in formal one is assign by the organization as a secretary, personal assistant, or receptionist, while in informal one could be a team leader, manager or supervisor who control the access to the decision maker.

Build a relationship with the gatekeeper. Treat them with respect and kindness, and try to understand their perspective. They may be more willing to help you if you build a rapport with them.
Be direct and specific when asking to speak with the decision maker. Explain the purpose of your call or email and how it will benefit them.
Use a personal touch. If you know the name of the decision maker, address them by name in your communication and try to make a connection with them.
Be persistent but respectful. Follow up on your request to speak with the decision maker, but avoid being pushy or aggressive.

The idea Man or lackey doing research

· A necessary step in the process

· Could be the end user or champion of the process

· Will have the appropriate on the information on the item/project

Questions to ask to drill down to the decision maker

1 "Can you tell me a bit about your role and responsibilities in the company?"

"Who has the final say on this matter?"
"Can you tell me about the decision-making process for this project?"
"Who is the budget holder for this initiative?"
"Can you tell me about the chain of command for this decision?"
"Who would I need to speak with to move forward with this proposal?"
"Who is the person responsible for this initiative, can you introduce me to them?"

The decision Maker

Look for the person who is accountable for the results of a particular decision or action.
Check the organizational chart to see who holds the highest position in the relevant department or division.
Research the company or organization's leadership team and identify the key decision makers.
Network and ask for introductions to key decision makers from industry peers or contacts.

The UC Moment

There is always a bigger fish

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I. Introduction to ChatGPT

Brief overview of what ChatGPT is and how it works
ChatGPT (Generative Pre-trained Transformer)[1] is a chatbot launched by OpenAI in November 2022. It is built on top of OpenAI's GPT-3.5 family of large language models, and is fine-tuned with both supervised and reinforcement learning techniques.
Reached 1 million subscribers users in a week.
An OpenAI blog post states that their ChatGPT model is trained with a deep machine learning technique called Reinforcement Learning from Human Feedback (RLHF) that helps simulate dialogue, answer follow-up questions, admit mistakes, challenge incorrect premises and reject inappropriate requests.
Setting the stage for the discussion of the pros and cons
- Clearly this will have impact in our communications in the future. Will the benefits outweigh the disadvantages? Let’s take a look

II. Pros of ChatGPT

Efficient and fast communication with customers
Ability to handle multiple conversations at once
Can provide quick and accurate responses to frequently asked questions
Creates content easily and quickly ( Pro or con?)
Presents and thinks in an organized and logical fashion.
? frees up time for other or better pursuits?

III. Cons of ChatGPT

Limited to providing pre-determined responses
Difficulty handling more complex or nuanced questions
Lack of personalization and human touch
It makes one question the content being provided. Not original or human made?
The school system will need to respond to schoolwork, papers. Will it change us forever?
Potential security issues? Spam or virus generation

IV. Balancing the pros and cons: when is ChatGPT appropriate to use?

Situations where ChatGPT can be a valuable tool (e.g. customer service, FAQs)
Situations where human interaction is still necessary (e.g. sales, personalized support)

V. Conclusion and future outlook for ChatGPT

Recap of the main points discussed
Thoughts on the potential future developments and evolution of ChatGPT technology

The UC Moment : ChatGPT is here and prepare yourself.

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Happy New year to all our listeners worldwide. We are taking this moment to thank you and reflect on the last year.
We always end our episodes with the UC Moment. A takeaway from the discussion that you can learn from and share.
Brandon: B-Positive, like my blood type
James : Be less of and call out the passive aggressive.

Much thanks to the faithful Uncommon Communicator Podcast listeners. Are hope is that you find our topics useful and that it will make an impact in your life. If you have found value, please share with your friends, family and network.

We plan to bring enlightenment to the topic of communication coming this year in full force.

Please drop us a line at theuncommoncommunicator@outlook.com and give us your feed back. what do you like, and what do you wan to hear more of this coming year.

If there are things that need improvement , please provide those as well. We can not get better with out your input.

Happy New Year and we will see you on the internet!!

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School house rock is a modern take on the instructional hymn

Schoolhouse Rock! is an American interstitial programming series of animated musical educational short films (and later, videos) that aired during the Saturday morning children's programming block on the U.S. television network ABC. The themes covered included grammar, science, economics, history, mathematics, and civics. The series' original run lasted from 1973 to 1984; it was later revived from 1993 to 1996.[2] Additional episodes were produced in 2009 for direct-to-video release

· Conjunction Junction

· I’m just a bill

· Three is the magic number

· A noun is person place or thing

Max Fischer story using pop music lyrics in the classroom

Keys to the success of Instructional hymns and School house rocks

· MUSIC PERKS UP STUDENTS

· MUSIC MOTIVATES CRITICAL THINKING

The UC Moment: Consider the appropriate vehicle for your communication

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Welcome to Part 4 of our 5 part series on Communication Evolution where we have been looking into forgotten forms of communication that still have relevance in our life

The Drum Beat

Based on natural languages and speech patterns, drum beats have been used as a means of communication by many civilizations throughout the history of the world.

For ceremonies and rituals, drum rhythms can get the adrenaline pumping for expressing the joy of life with celebratory dance…or as the driving force behind war with its sound of thunderous terror.

In ancient villages, drummers sent messages, poems, and gossip because it was much faster to relay this way than it was for a person to run the same distance. They communicated details by changing the beats’ speed, pitch, and timbre.

Developed and used by cultures living in forested areas, drums served as an early form of long-distance communication, and were used during ceremonial and religious functions.

In Africa, New Guinea and the tropical America, people have used drum telegraphy to communicate with each other from far away for centuries. When European expeditions came into the jungles to explore the local forest, they were surprised to find that the message of their coming and their intention was carried through the woods a step in advance of their arrival. An African message can be transmitted at the speed of 100 miles in an hour.

n central and east Africa, drum patterns represent the stresses, syllable lengths and tone of the particular African language. In tone languages, where syllables are associated with a certain tone, some words are distinguished only by their suprasegmental profile. Therefore, syllable drum languages can often transfer a message using the tonal phonemes alone.

In certain languages, the pitch of each syllable is uniquely determined in relation to each adjacent syllable. In these cases, messages can be transmitted as rapid beats at the same speed as speech as the rhythm and melody both match the equivalent spoken utterance.

Misinterpretations can occur due to the highly ambiguous nature of the communication. This is reduced by context effects and the use of stock phrases. For example, in Jabo, most stems are monosyllabic. By using a proverb or honorary title to create expanded versions of an animal, person's name or object, the corresponding single beat can be replaced with a rhythmic and melodic motif representing the subject. In practice not all listeners understand all of the stock phrases; the drum language is understood only to the level of their immediate concern.

The UC Discussion

The concept of beating a drum or singing instructions can be considered the more personal, emotional side of communication in which the written word either isn’t functional or brings about the desired result.

Speak in a rhythm that matches your charisma

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Welcome to Part 3 of our 5 part series on Communication Evolution
The heliograph

A heliograph (from Ancient Greek ἥλιος (hḗlios) 'sun', and γράφειν (gráphein) 'to write') is a semaphore system that signals by flashes of sunlight (generally using Morse code) reflected by a mirror. The flashes are produced by momentarily pivoting the mirror, or by interrupting the beam with a shutter.[1] The heliograph was a simple but effective instrument for instantaneous optical communication over long distances during the late 19th and early 20th century.[1] Its main uses were military, survey and forest protection work. Heliographs were standard issue in the British and Australian armies until the 1960s, and were used by the Pakistani army as late as 1975.[2]

In this episode we learn about this forgotten form of communication. The heliograph is the forerunner to fiber optics.

Using the idea of mirrors its important to discuss how our communications mirrors
The UC Moment is:
Our actions Mirrors our thoughts. Our words are the mirror of our soul.

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The Semaphore Flag Signaling System

A fascinating way of disseminating information, the semaphore tower was first implemented in 1792 at 556 stations over France for the primary source of communication for military and national applications.

The structure’s design had two large towers with a single crossbar between them on which were two pivoting arms. The combination of positions between the crossbar and arms equaled 196 characters. Those characters could be combined to created thousands of codes.

This method eventually evolved to the positioning of smaller flags and was used for communication between naval vessels for hundreds of years (even Napoleon used one version).

There were two critical downfalls of the semaphore system. First, it offered no secrecy. Second, it was practically invisible at night or during heavy fog and rain.

The semaphore train system of a hundred years ago (when a train must wait before entering a single track until the semaphore permits travel) might sound similar to semaphores in multithreaded computer programming in which a thread waits for permission to proceed and then signals that it has proceeded by performing an operation on the semaphore.
Here are some Communication Red Flags :

Conflict avoidance. Humans, by nature, either confront conflict or bury it. “Most people don’t have an agreement on how to talk about hard issues when they are both ready to talk,” Farmer says. “Then the problems get worse and worse.”
Determine how each team member best deals with conflict, then make sure the conflict isn’t allowed to fester
Avoiding Eye Contact3. Explosive conversations. “When anger triggers anger, you have two people angry at the same time and nobody is listening,” Farmer says. Problems cannot be solved unless both parties have their turn in the listening role.
“The only time that anger works in a conversation is when you have someone who is a good listener,” he says. “Good listening de-escalates anger as the angry person can’t stay angry, they want to be understood.”
Asking questions with out waiting for an answer
Criticism and negative comments. “A relationship needs to be 9/10 positive,” Farmer says. “If the ratio gets anywhere close to 50-50 it will seem like its 90% negative. You need to work overtime on building a relationship with positives. Then the occasional jerk behavior is no big deal.”
The persons conversation always revolves around them.
Bad apologies. All people make mistakes that require a heartfelt and sincere apology. “But, a lot of people don’t know how to make a good apology, so people hold on to resentment,” Farmer says. “That resentment is a way of getting even for past troubles.”

The UC Moment : Identify and pay attention to your red flags

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Welcome to part 1 of our 5 part series on forgotten communications. In this series we will be uncovering the secrets of the past and how they apply today.

The Town Crier
The semaphore flag
The heliograph
The drum beat
The instructional hymn

The town crier played an important part in medieval society. Our eyes were opened to the fact that this really fed into an illiterate system. The Uncommon communicator is a big supporter of bringing literacy to the masses. to many, it is the start of freedom from an oppressive society
Coming from the French verb that means to listen, the town crier was a common sight (and sound) on the streets of medieval England. While ringing his bell, he would loudly inform the townspeople of news, proclamations, and other important information.

Since the dispelling of information was a very important task, the town crier had to be literate, an uncommon skill at the time. He also had to be loud and have an air of authority about him. Since announced messages were often negative and unwelcome (such as in the event of a tax increase), town criers were protected by law. In fact, that’s where the saying “Don’t shoot the messenger!” originates.

Although traditional town criers no longer exist professionally, there are many who put on the garb for festivals and fun. That is, except for Alan Myatt who is a two-time Guinness Book of World Records winner. At 112.8 decibels (as loud as a riveting machine!), he holds the record for vocal endurance by issuing a one-hundred-word proclamation every 15 minutes for a period of 48 hours.

Prior to widespread literacy, town criers were the means of communication with the people of the town since many people could not read or write. Proclamations, local bylaws, market days, adverts, were all proclaimed by a bellman or crier.

World literacy rate is currently 87% up from 12% as recent as 1820.

In ancient Rome, they typically proclaimed public business during the market days that formed a kind of weekend every eight days.

Criers were not always men, many town criers were women. Bells were not the only attention-getting device—in the Netherlands, a gong was the instrument of choice for many, and in France a drum was used, or a hunting horn.

Today’s Crier has taken on a life of its own

Twitter, Tik-Tok, Instagram, snapchat, Facebook

Keep in mind that the town crier was required to give the message of the crown, or government. Illiteracy led the listener to believe whatever was spoken to them. These would often be posted (although not many could read it)

Please take some time and support literacy :
https://www.see-words.com/2019/10/25/10-inspiring-organizations-that-promote-literacy-and-education/

The moment of enlightenment from today:

Be literate to the conversation of the time

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Defning Gratitude
Religious traditions including Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, and Hinduism all encourage
cultivating gratitude as an important moral virtue. For millennia, gratitude has been a popular topic
among philosophers:
• Cicero said gratitude “is not only the greatest one but also the mother of all the other remaining virtues”;
• Seneca “ranked ingrates below thieves, rapists and adulterers”;
• Hume wrote, “Of all crimes that human creatures are capable of committing, the most horrid and unnatural is ingratitude”;
• and Adam Smith believed that gratitude was vital for maintaining a society based on goodwill

In this episode we discuss

Why is gratitude important
How do you practice it
What are you grateful for

It was certainly eye opening for this Uncommon Communicator to realize that my approach to gratitude was completely wrong. I was always looking for the big idea or deep thought to be grateful for.

In reality , gratitude is intended to be seen and used in every little thing. In fact, if you can find gratitude in the small things you will lead a more fulfilling and happier life.

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cha·ris·ma - compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others.

"she enchanted guests with her charisma"

The word Charisma comes from the Greek meaning divine favor

Three things we will talk about today

· What is charisma?

· Can you learn it and train for it?

· What to watch for, the dark side of charisma

Characteristics of a charismatic person:

1. Confidence
Many of the most powerful and successful leaders exude confidence. They rarely show self-doubt and are usually in control of their emotions. To be a strong leader, you will have to practice self-confidence. You can’t second guess yourself or feel shy around your colleagues. Be sure when leading a project, to be positive and see the glass as half full. This will help your confidence come across to your team and can lead to a positive outcome.

2. Creativity
Charismatic leaders often think outside the box and aren’t afraid to take risks. This means that they tend to come up with creative solutions. When a problem arises, strong leaders rise to the challenge—instead of falling to it. When they come up with creative solutions often times this can lead to positive change that will ultimately transform the business in a good way.

3. Vision
Leaders with great charisma are constantly looking towards the future and ways to improve it. They follow their goals and know exactly what they are striving to achieve. Show that you have a vision by expressing it to others on your team. If they know you’re looking to improve the future in some capacity, they will take note.

4. Determination
In order to achieve their vision, leaders have to be determined to hit those goals. Even when they run into challenges, they have to push through. Show your determination as a leader by not giving up when you encounter road blocks and use the other characteristics like creativity and confidence to support your determination. This will surely inspire others.

5. Communication
Great leaders are strong communicators. Specifically, they know to be deliberate and thoughtful in their communication. Strong communicators do not speak in jargon and terms that people may or may not understand. Rather, great communicators speak in plain language that is understood by all. In addition, some of the best leaders I have observed know how to use “stories” to get their message or point across to others. Lastly, being direct and kind is one of the key elements I have seen lead to successful communication.

Why does suppressing emotions matter? Some studies have shown “emotion suppression absorbs mental resources, deteriorates cognitive performance and impacts memory,” according to Menges. When a person is engaged in emotion suppression, they appear to be less able to make critical decisions , leaving them more vulnerable to individuals who have power. As a result of his findings from these two studies and one other, Menges has called this impact “the awestruck effect.” But he believes that charisma as a dominant, assertive behavior is successful only when it’s matched by submissive behavior on the part of a leader’s followers.

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Manifestation is the idea that a person can actualize their desires by using the power of their subconscious beliefs, and there are numerous entities that purport this to be a real ability we possess as humans.

There actually is a fair amount of science behind the idea of manifestation. For example, the research on growth mindset driven by Dr. Carol Dweck clearly shows that believing you can do something makes it more likely that you actually will do that thing. An example might be that you really believe you can get your dream job of being a therapist. So you work hard to get into a good school, work hard while in school, and create a successful therapy practice that brings you a lot of joy.

It's important to note, though, that this is different from the popular manifesting guides that suggest that believing in something creates it. This science-based approach instead shows us that if we truly believe we can achieve something, we are willing to put in the work to achieve it. And that is key: manifestation takes work. To manifest what we want, we need to believe we can do it, feel strongly enough about it to be persistent, and ultimately engage in the behaviors that bring about the outcomes we desire.
There is also research showing that whatever our expectations are, they tend to be confirmed. This is what is known as a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, if you wake up "on the wrong side of the bed" and you expect your day will be terrible, you're actually more likely to do things that make your day terrible. You're more likely to see neutral things as terrible. And you're likely to feed a cycle of negative emotions that can manifest the exact negative day you expected.

Indeed, research shows that if we're already feeling bad (if we're anxious for example), we're more likely to interpret neutral circumstances in an anxiety-provoking way. We literally see bad things when they don't exist.

Research has also shown that a negative mood or attitude puts others off, hurting our relationships. This is how our pessimistic attitude actually leads to the exact outcomes we expect. In contrast, people who are generally happy and positive attract more opportunities, have better relationships, and are usually more successful.

It kinda makes sense when you think about it, right? We prefer to be around and help positive, optimistic people. So how do we use the science behind manifestation to create a manifestation plan that really works?

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The news is an Important topic to cover as An Uncommon Communicator.

How the news is delivered and the credibility of the source are important factors in deciding what we accept as the truth.

A great quote form Denzel Washington : "If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you read the newspaper you are misinformed

Typically a .org or a .Gov can be somewhat reliable sources as there is accountability.

The Newspapers of old as well as the televised network news also have some accountability. Even if they are Bias, you can chose your preferred bias and hopefully the news they are reporting is at least accurate to some level of accountability.

Follow the link to Pew Research Center for the data we discussed on the show:
https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2021/01/12/more-than-eight-in-ten-americans-get-news-from-digital-devices/

Her is a link for a how to on avoiding Click bait :
https://freedom.to/blog/eliminate-clickbait-online/

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Communication is a Skill

Skill in the art of communication is crucial to a leader’s success. They can accomplish nothing unless they communicate effectively – Norman Allen
6 Tips to the Skill of conversation

Lead with a compliment.

Compliments are the best possible way to begin a conversation. Not only do they provide a perfect opening line and a possible door for discussion, they also make the person feel good about themselves. Starting the conversation off on a positive note is crucial to keep the conversation going.

Just remember, the more specific your compliment is, the better—for example, commenting that a person is well-dressed is nowhere near as satisfying or flattering as saying something like, “Your shoes are cute.” It’s concise, sincere and specific—and now you’ve opened the conversational door because your partner has something to talk about.

Embrace small talk.

Small talk is taboo to some people, and while it’s not the most fulfilling type of conversation, it is both functional and necessary. Small talk is what leads the way to deeper conversation, much in the way that a car must gradually accelerate to a certain speed rather than hitting 60 miles an hour instantaneously.

Ask lots of questions.

If you want to move from small talk to real conversation, you have to look for any opportunity that leads you to change the subject. Don’t try to abruptly change gears and talk about something deep or substantial; instead, patiently wait for the opportunity to present itself. Questions are conversational lubricant. .

Be nice.

This should be obvious, but don’t neglect it. Your level of friendliness can make or break the receptiveness of the other party involved. Walk into the conversation with a big smile and open body language, and keep yourself open, receptive and smiling politely for as much of the conversation as you can.

Let the other person do the talking.

This is another major point. If you go into a conversation and immediately begin dominating it with your own anecdotes, comments and explanations, the other person may immediately become disinterested. Instead, try to keep the focus on them as much as possible.

Keep it light.

Try to keep the conversation as light and approachable as possible. If you immediately start complaining about your job or talking about what’s wrong with your life, people will want to avoid you. If you tell a joke or an amusing story, they’ll be far more likely to stay.

People tend to gravitate toward others with a positive attitude, so keep your conversational material positive. If you struggle with this, try memorizing a handful of good jokes or good stories to use when you meet new people.

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The Uncommon communicator is the individual that has the enlightenment to recognize in any situation whether communication has occurred. This uncommon communicator takes ownership of the conversation and possess the skills to navigate and facilitate the conversation to mutual understanding.

Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator podcast, your host James Gable and Brandon Thompson are here to bring enlightenment to the topic of communication.

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of Intelligence - Oscar Wilde
sar·casm

the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.

"his voice, hardened by sarcasm, could not hide his resentment"

Sarcasm refers to the use of words that mean the opposite of what you really want to say, especially in order to insult someone, or to show irritation, or just to be funny. For example, saying "they're really on top of things" to describe a group of people who are very disorganized is using sarcasm.

Sarcasm:

How to recognize
Used it for good
Used for evil

How to recognize:

Tone

· Open mouth, lower pitch than normal for that speaker,

· extra stress/emphasis (which will elongate some vowels),

· longer duration of utterance (due to the elongations resulting from added stress),

· but slightly reduced volume. (Muttered sarcastic comments are quite common.)

· Sighing while being sarcastic is not uncommon

Facial expressions

· The open mouth eye roll is the most common

· Pursed lips and pinched (furrowed) eyebrows

· Raised eyebrows

· Shoulder shrug

· A deadpan or neutral face

Use it for good

Sarcasm can be fun and funny as well as used for making a connection

· Work example ( Sabina)

· Creates connection

· Sometimes gives the impression of a deeper understanding of the situation, or indicates intelligence

Used for bad

· Can turn to passive aggressive very quickly

· Used to express frustrations

· When used in an argument, can lead to unnecessary escalation

· Can come across as hostile or insulting

· Is easily passed off as “ I was joking”

Responding to the Sarcasm

· If unsure always ask, the tone and words may not give the message

· If a speaker directs the sarcasm at themselves, it could be out of an insecurity, reassurance could be in order

· If the sarcasm is in frustration, be empathetic, there could be a deeper issue to resolve

· Don’t be quick to take offence, size up the condition of the relationship and the context.

The moment of enlightenment from today:

Use sarcasm in fun and be prepared to interpret the intentions of others

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NEW check out our website : theuncommoncommunicator.com Future home of everything communicationThe context definition in communication refers to the factors that work together to determine the meaning of a message. When conversations take place, context works to interpret parts of the message.

Why is context important?

Context is critical, because it tells you, the receiver, what importance to place on something, what assumptions to draw (or not) about what is being communicated, and most importantly, it puts meaning into the message

Situational context consists of 3 aspects:

Field, Tenor, Mode

Field: Or Time

· What is happening?

· What social interaction is taking place?

· What is the participant engaged in ?

Tenor: Or The Person

· Who is taking part?

· What is the nature of the participants?

· What is the role or status of the participant?

o What is socially significant in the relationships?

Mode: Or the Purpose

· What part is the language taking?

· What are they expecting the language to be expressing?

o Persuasive

o Expository

o Didactic

o Rhetorical

The moment of enlightenment from today:
Don't assume, use context.

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For today discussion we will talk about 3 important things to consider:

Be curious ( Genuine and want to learn)
Be a listener
Ask open ended questions allowing the speaker to elaborate

Be curious

Curiosity is heavily associated with all aspects of human development, in which derives the process of learning and desire to acquire knowledge and skill.

Some Brain Science:

Research suggests that the act of wanting and desiring new information directly involves mesolimbic pathways of the brain that directly account for dopamine activation. The use of these pathways and dopamine activation may account for the assigning of value to new information and then interpreting as reward.[10][14][15] This aspect of neurobiology can accompany curiosity-drive theory in motivating exploratory behavior.

Dopamine is linked to the process of curiosity, as it is responsible for assigning and retaining reward values of information gained. Research suggests higher amounts of dopamine is released when the reward is unknown and the stimulus is unfamiliar, compared to activation of dopamine when stimulus is familiar.[14]

Be a listener (Episode 37 – Empathetic listening)

Active listeners avoid interrupting at all costs, summarize and repeat back what they have heard, and observe body language to give them an extra level of understanding.

Ask open ended questions

Basically : An open-ended question is a question that cannot be answered with a "yes" or "no" response, or with a static response. Open-ended questions are phrased as a statement which requires a longer response. The response can be compared to information that is already known to the questioner.[1]

Examples: Why, how, what, describe, tell me about, what do you think about

Ask one question at a time
Ask follow-up questions

a. Again, pay attention and ask

2 step questioning is fine and can engage deeper thoughts

Is it ever right to lie? Followed Why do you think that

The moment of enlightenment from today

Be curious, be a listener and ask open ended questions

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NEW check out our website : theuncommoncommunicator.com Future home of everything communicationIntrapersonal communication is a highly effective internal dialogue that guides your beliefs, behaviors, and actions. It’s a powerful tool for developing your authentic self, communicating with others, and boosting happiness.

3 examples of Intrapersonal Communication

Thinking

Vocal

Written

In this episodes we discuss our internal dialogue as well as some do not have the ability to entertain an internal dialogue
Here are the 7 consequences that positive thoughts will bring:
Think Positive, Be Positive: What Happens?

Cope with stress faster and more effectively – instead of dwelling on the negative, positive people look for solutions. And when we find solutions, stress starts to dissipate.
Improved health – there's evidence that positive thoughts boost resistance to disease and improves the ability to recover from health setbacks.
Better relationships with people – we're all drawn to positive people, so being positive brings more people into our lives. With a positive attitude, we're also better at communication and negotiation.
Become more focused – with the power of positive thinking, you're driven to achieve the things that matter to you. You can tune out the noise, and ‘tune in' to what needs to be done.
Feel more confidence – positivity extends to your view of yourself and your value, boosting your self-worth. The more positive you are, the more you believe in your own potential and give yourself opportunities to fulfill it.
Be more successful – as a positive person, you not only attract success through the Law of Attraction but are also better at networking and at inspiring others.
Experience more happiness – it stands to reason that being positive brings you joy, optimism, and satisfaction. When you have a positive mindset, you notice and appreciate the beautiful things in life.

The UC moment for today :
Good vibes and good thoughts , put it out there!

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In This episode we discover the the theory of Cognitive load :**The cognitive load construct refers to the load placed on working memory by a range of cognitive processes, including comprehension, schema construction, schema automation, and problem solving. When working memory is overloaded by the competing demands of these processes, CLT argues, student learning is impaired.

1. Intrinsic load. This is often described as the inherent difficulty of the subject matter. Think of it as the RAM requirement for a piece of software, like a web-browser or a word processor. It is generally considered fixed; an instructional designer cannot change the intrinsic load.

2. Extraneous load. This is the portion of memory that is taken up by processes not related to learning at all. This is equivalent to the memory used by all the hidden programs running in the background in your system tray. Instructional design strategies should aim to reduce extraneous load as much as possible. We need to free up memory by closing programs we aren’t using so that the memory can be used to install new learning as efficiently as possible.

Germane load. This is the portion of the memory devoted to integrating new information, the creation and modification of schema (Sweller, van Merriënboer, & Paas, 1998). Germane load is similar to the memory usage of your computer while it’s actually installing your programs. Instructional design strategies should increase this type of load, as this will help increase the amount of memory devoted to integrating new information into your learner’s systems. The more memory you can devote, the more efficiently you can install the content.
.
To manage and maintain the the conversations with an understanding of cognitive load will improve your effectiveness as a communicator.

The UC Moment is that you need to see the cognitive load as a bucket. If its overflowing than information will be lost. Manage your bucket and the bucket of others to more effective and successful.

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NEW check out our website : theuncommoncommunicator.com Future home of everything communicationVisualization is of three types: They are:

Outcome Visualization: Outcome Visualization is used to visualize the outcome of a future event. Imagine visualizing the outcome of a race, receiving a standing ovation for your dance performance or delivering your speech with perfection etc. Outcome visualization is most commonly practiced.

· See yourself being successful. Making money, getting cars etc.

Process Visualization: Process Visualization is used to imagine the steps necessary to accomplish your goal. Think about all that you need to do like the practice for your game, the rehearsals for your dance or the research for your speech etc.

· Used by professional and Olympic athletes

· Used by speakers, performers, musicians

Rational Visualization: Rational visualization is used to visualize things going wrong and helps you to understand how to cope with that situation. Imagine falling down as your start running, missing a step in a dance performance, forgetting your speech content etc.

· Negotiation techniques, Accusation audits

· **Military and strategic planning

If you are tired of starting over, quit giving up.

The UC Moment , The moment of enlightenment is :
Visualize to prepare yourself and be more prepared for your communications and mind pictures**

Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator podcast, your host James Gable and Brandon Thompson are here to bring enlightenment to the topic of communication.

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In this episode we will be discussing communication through the use of comparison. Comparing original and cover songs by various artists. this absolutely conveys a different message and feel.

Its not always the message, but the messenger and how it is given.

Here is a list of the songs that we used for this demonstration:
House of the rising sun
Sounds of silence
Proud Mary
Mad World
Hurt
Turn the page
American woman

Sometimes when parents try for years to send their children a message...they actually will receive it from someone else, maybe even a stranger.
Bad news told in a good way:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mi-YLIwkfJs

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How important is eye contact in communication?

Eye contact opens and closes communication
Increased eye contact is associated with credibility and dominance
Lack of contact and blinking are interpreted as submissive
High status people are looked at, and look more while talking than listening
Stares communicate hostility

The psychology of Eye contact

Cultural differences

· Japanese children are taught in school to direct their gaze at the region of their teacher's Adam's apple or tie knot. As adults, Japanese lower their eyes when speaking to a superior as a gesture of respect.[21]

· Some bodies of parliamentary procedure ban eye contact between members when speaking

Tips on Eye Contact:

Tips for making eye contact

If you find that your eyes wander away from the other person’s eyes during social interactions, or if you have social anxiety, here are five tips you can use to improve and make eye contact more often.

You’ll also learn how to maintain eye contact during an entire conversation.

1. Make eye contact before you start talking

Before you utter your first word, make eye contact. When the contact is established, you can start talking face-to-face.

2. Hold your gaze for 4 to 5 seconds at a time

Not sure how long you should hold another person’s gaze or how much eye contact to make? Try looking into people’s eyes for four to five seconds at a time.

Instead of looking down when you break eye contact, look to the side. Then, you can resume eye contact.

3. Use gestures

Do you ever feel uncomfortable and want to break eye contact? Instead of just looking away, try using gestures and body language.

You can nod, use your hands, or use other gestures that you usually make during a conversation.

This will look more natural than just looking away.

4. Move your eyes slowly

Avoid looking away too quickly when you break eye contact. This can make you seem nervous.

Instead, look away slowly.

5. Maintain eye contact 50% of the time

When you’re having a discussion with someone, use the 50/70 rule. This means you should hold eye contact between 50%–70% of the time.

Maintain this amount of eye contact both while you are talking and while you are listening.

The moment of enlightenment from today

Eye contact open and closes communication and you don't need full eye contact

Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator podcast, your host James Gable and Brandon Thompson are here to bring enlightenment to the topic of communication.

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em·pa·thet·ic

/ˌempəˈTHedik/

adjective

showing an ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

The 4 Stages of Empathic Listening

To prepare for empathic listening, Leal (2017) proposes ideas such as quieting the mind in order to focus fully on what the other is saying, listening fully and openly, and listening through the words.

According to Covey (2020), there are four stages of empathic listening, outlined below:

Stage 1: Mimicking content

This is the least effective stage of listening taught in active or reflective listening courses.

Stage 2: Rephrasing the content

This is somewhat more effective but remains limited to the verbal portion of communication.

Stage 3: Reflecting feelings

This stage includes not only what was said, but how the speaker feels about it.

Stage 4: Rephrasing content and reflecting feelings

This stage incorporates both the second and third stages of the golden nugget of communication.

Empathic Listening vs Active Listening

In the field of communication, there are various types of listening. Some require more skill and patience than others.

Active listening

Active listening is identified as a way of listening instead of a type of listening. This listening method focuses entirely on what the other person is saying. The listener then confirms the content of what was heard and the feelings the speaker projects about the message (Hybels & Weaver, 2015).

Some characteristics of active listeners include good eye contact, undivided attention, and patience. The active listener’s demeanor helps the speaker feel respected (Hybels & Weaver, 2015)

Empathic listening

This type of listening includes the mechanics of active listening and takes the listener a step further. The empathic listener begins with the intent to immerse themselves fully in the other person and what they are experiencing.

The moment of enlightenment from today

Good listeners are great communicators

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slang

/slaNG/

noun

a type of language that consists of words and phrases that are regarded as very informal, are more common in speech than writing, and are typically restricted to a particular context or group of people.

It also sometimes refers to the language generally exclusive to the members of particular in-groups in order to establish group identity, exclude outsiders, or both.

Linguists have no simple and clear definition of slang, but agree that it is a constantly changing linguistic phenomenon present in every subculture worldwide.

exrepession should be considered "true slang" if it meets at least two of the following criteria:[8]

· It lowers, if temporarily, "the dignity of formal or serious speech or writing"; in other words, it is likely to be considered in those contexts a "glaring misuse of register".

· Its use implies that the user is familiar with whatever is referred to, or with a group of people who are familiar with it and use the term.

· "It's a taboo term in ordinary discourse with people of a higher social status or greater responsibility."

· It replaces "a well-known conventional synonym." This is done primarily to avoid discomfort caused by the conventional synonym or discomfort or annoyance caused by having to elaborate further.

Stupid social phrases - Buzz words

(That's)( to be )fair

I know…..right ( Riiiiiiight)

On point

To be honest

SynergyWheelhouse, Circle-back, Take it offline…Uh I thought we were just talking ….offline, At the end of the day, We need to "sit down"100% or Hundo P, Totes, Rockstar, Bandwidth

Hashtag

I mean….

Pandemic related: New normal, Social Distancing ( uh physically speaking ), Unprecedented, uncertain, and trying time, Essentia, Front line workers….Please ! Ill bag them myself., Uncharted…..But you show me the chart everyday?, Abundance of caution, Flatten the curve..,, Fake news, Secret sauce,
Robust

Crushing it

I don’t mean to interrupt but

· Dope - Cool or awesome.

· GOAT - "Greatest of All Time"

· Gucci - Good, cool, or going well.

· Lit - Amazing, cool, or exciting.

· OMG - An abbreviation for "Oh my gosh" or "Oh my God"

· Salty - Bitter, angry, agitated.

· Sic/Sick - Cool or sweet.

· Snatched - Looks good, perfect, or fashionable; the new "on fleek"

The moment of enlightenment from today

A possible Scandinavian origin, suggesting the same root as that of sling, which means "to throw", and noting that slang is thrown language – a quick and honest way to make your point.

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In this episode we discuss the idea of Zeitgeist. knowing the Zeitgeist of the times and of past times will make you a more educated listener.
zeit·geist

/ˈtsītˌɡīst,ˈzītˌɡīst

Learn to pronounce

noun

the defining spirit or mood of a particular period of history as shown by the ideas and beliefs of the time.

"the story captured the zeitgeist of the late 1960s"

Understanding the times, the 60's , 70's, 80's and 90's even as we jump into the 2000's there are markers that identify with the people in those times.

The UC moment is to understand the times " be hip to the times" is the enlightenment , having understanding to the culture conversations.

Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator Podcast. Where we bring enlightenment to the topic of communication.

Advertising is an effective form of communication. Built on the same foundation as we communicate with each other.

1. SOURCE:

Advertising communication process begins with the sender, who is also called the communicator or the source. A source is an origin or the point at which the message originates in an advertising communication system.
The person who initiates the communication process is normally referred to as the source. The source or the sender develops ideas, encodes and transfers them to the receiver.
The source must transmit the message through efficient media that reach the target audience.
The sender must encode the message in a form that can be understood and then transmit it to the receiver.
Senders must also develop channels for feedback.

2. MESSAGE:

Message refers to the content, idea, thought, feeling or the opinion that the sender wants to convey to the receiver.
It is a key that triggers the recipient, to respond to the sender.
The sender must ensure that the message conveyed must be clear and specific. The message can be conveyed to the receiver in some ways, like humor or fear.

3. MEDIA:

Media refers to the various channels or a medium that is used or to be used to convey your message.
Medium is the means by which a message is transmitted to the receiver.
The medium may include verbal channels like telephone or a word-of-mouth communication or a non-verbal communication such as e-mail or text messages.
Each channel has its pros and cons.
Written communication may be used to convey messages to a small group of people whereas oral or verbal communication means can be chosen to convey messages to a large group of people.
The channels in the advertising communication system include television, radio, newspapers, magazines, billboards, e-mail, online advertising and so on. The impact and intensity of communication may differ from one media to another.

4. RECEIVER:

The receiver or the interpreter in an advertising communication system refers to the target audience or the person to whom the message is directed.
The receiver can be defined in terms of audience segmentation variables like lifestyle, demographics, benefits sought and so on.
The characteristics of the receiver, his demographics, psychological and social features furnish the foundation for understanding communication process.
To understand the information from the sender, the receiver must first be able to receive the information and then decode or interpret it.

5. FEEDBACK

Feedback is a significant element of the communication process, as it empowers the sender to measure the efficiency of the message.
It enables the sender to analyze the exact interpretation of the message by a decoder.
The communication process reaches its end goal when the message has been successfully transmitted, received and understood.
Feedback may be direct, such as a written or oral feedback, or it may also take the form of an action in response.

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In this episode we look at and challenge the use of profanity in our conversations
How did we do this and maintain our G Rating??? Very carefully

pro·fan·i·ty/ prəˈfanədē/

noun

blasphemous or obscene language.

"an outburst of profanity"

Swearing performs certain psychological functions, and uses particular linguistic and neurological mechanisms; all these are avenues of research. New your times https://www.linkedin.com/company/80960291/admin/author Natalie Angier notes that functionally similar behavior can be observed in chimpanzees, and may contribute to our understanding.[24] Angier also notes that swearing is a widespread but perhaps underappreciated anger management technique; that "Men generally curse more than women, unless said women are in a sorority, and that university provosts swear more than librarians or the staff members of the university day care center".
According to Steven Pinker, there are five possible functions of swearing:

· ABUSIVE swearing, intended to offend, intimidate or otherwise cause emotional or psychological harm

· CATHARTIC swearing, used in response to pain or misfortune

· DYSPHEMISTIC swearing, used to convey that the speaker thinks negatively of the subject matter and to make the listener do the same

· EMPATHIC swearing, intended to draw additional attention to what is considered to be worth paying attention to

· IDIOMATIC swearing, used for no other particular purpose, but as a sign that the conversation and relationship between speaker and listener is informal

Steven Arthur Pinker (born September 18, 1954)is a Canadian-American cognitive psychologist, psycholinguist, popular science author and public intellectual. He is an advocate of evolutionary psychology and the computational theory of mind.

Warnings:

Swearing can get you banned from all sorts of sites, from Internet forums to massively multiplayer online role-playing games. Some forums allow mild swearing, which means allowing very little amounts of swearing in your posts.
Swearing at school might get you suspended or expelled.
Swearing at work might get you fired.
Swearing in a public place can get you fined, or even imprisoned in some countries or cities, notably Australia.

Reasons not to: Be more professional, increase vocabulary, appear more intelligent

Reasons to: Self expression, Connection through informality (acceptance)….To Make a really strong point.

Profanity is the effort of the feeble brain to express itself forcibly – Spencer W. Kimball

The moment of enlightenment from today

Choose your words wisely , Know your audience and use your full vocabulary

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Why Do Employees Resist Change?

Although employee resistance has many causes, research reveals five primary reasons:

Lack of awareness about the reason for change
Change in job role
Fear of the unknown
Lack of support from or trust in leaders
Exclusion from change-related decisions

The top reason employees resist change is because they lack of awareness about the purpose and reason for the change. This arises from the organization's failure to communicate details and business reasons for the change, as well as a lack of clarity about employee roles in change success. Resistance occurs when employees can't answer, "What's in it for me?"

Why Do Managers Resist Change?

Research participants identified five primary reasons managers resist change:

Organizational culture issues
Lack of awareness and knowledge about change
Lack of buy-in
Misalignment of project goals and personal incentives
Lack of confidence in their ability to manage change

ADKAR model to support change :

A - Awareness - Of the need for change
D - Desire - To participate and support the change
K - Knowledge - On how to change
A - Ability - To implement desired skills & behaviors
R - Reinforcement - To sustain the change

The UC moment : Effectively communicate the change

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Fear, in general is a very complicated and deeply rooted subject.

Fear is a neurophysiological response to a perceived threat. Fear activates our fight-or-flight response by stimulating the hypothalamus, which directs the sympathetic nervous system and the adrenal-cortical system to prepare our bodies for danger. This can happen suddenly with a surge of stress hormones into our bloodstream, or we can experience a slow drip of anxiety that creeps up on us as dread.

Glossophobia - the fear of speaking in public - is a very common phobia, one that is believed to affect up to 75% of the human population. Yes, approximately 75% of us have fears and anxiety towards presenting or speaking in public, presenting online, or facilitation a conversation or a meeting. most people would rather die than give a speech in front of a crowd...

Fear is one of the four primary emotions:

Fear

Joy

Sadness

Anger

Here are the most common fears on public speaking:

The fear of failing (self-doubt)
The fear of forgetting the content
The fear of looking nervous or insecure
The fear of judgmental (tough) audiences
It’s better to remain silent and thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt – Abraham Lincoln
The fear of the unexpected (impromptu speaking)
The fear of time
The fear of technology

So how can we diffuse the fear of speaking in public? Well, not by avoiding it, but quite the contrary:

Whatever your fear, if you face it, you will know how to deal with it. So the number one solution to the fear of speaking in public is what will ''take away'' the fear of it. That cortisol produced will be ''hitting'' the amygdala (our reptilian brain), which will result in producing very two important neurotransmitters: glutamate (the excitation neurotransmitter) and noradrenaline ( the focus neurotransmitter); This is why you are more focused and enjoy presenting? Because the very fear will help produce these amazing neurotransmitters.

Try imagining the worst thing that can happen – maybe you will forget your content, maybe you will look a bit awkward. It's fine, we've all been there. It's really not the end of the world. Learn from it, it never failing when you learn from it;

Rehearse, rehearse and rehearse again. We're talking about the 3 P's of public speaking: ''plan, produce, perform''. So before you perform, make sure you plan and produce (your preparations and rehearsals should take at least 10 times longer than your performance).

Do not forget, the audience is there to support you and they WANT YOU TO DO GOOD. Often we think exactly the opposite. Become aware of this reality, and your reality will look different as a result.

Make Your Nervous Energy Work For You

Learn to channel your nervous energy into positive energy. Being nervous is a form of adrenaline. You can use it in a positive way to help give an impassioned presentation during public speaking events.

The moment of enlightenment from today

Rehearse, rehearse and rehearse

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The Uncommon communicator is the individual that has the enlightenment to recognize in any situation whether communication has occurred. This uncommon communicator takes ownership of the conversation and possess the skills to navigate and facilitate the conversation to mutual understanding.

Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator podcast, your host James Gable and Brandon Thompson are here to bring enlightenment to the topic of communication.
To train the Uncommon approach to communication we will discuss the tenants or mantra of the Uncommon Communicator

Enlightenment – The Key
Ownership – The combination lock

Enlightenment

Enlightenment scares some people. They think is some hippie drug induced state and it couldn’t be farther from the truth.

en·light·ened

adjective

having or showing a rational, modern, and well-informed outlook.

"the more enlightened employers offer better terms"

Here is a scary quote:

““Enlightenment is a destructive process. It
has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the
crumbling away of untruth. It's seeing
through the facade of pretence. It's the
complete eradication of everything we
imagined to be true.”
― Adyashanti

The key : Enlightenment - You have to recognize if communication is taking place.
- Seems simple but it must be the starting place
- This is the start of emotional Intelligence and self-regulation
- The communicator must be fully invested to ensure communication takes place.
- Communication is only a two-way street if both are Enlightened.

Ownership is a combination lock

This uncommon communicator takes ownership of the conversation and possess the skills to navigate and facilitate the conversation to mutual understanding.

The Combination lock: How do they speak?
- Assertive
Aggressive
Passive
Passive - aggressive

How do they listen?

Tell me more
Tell me less - ( Soup Nazi from Seinfeld)
I need facts
I need stories
What is their emotional state?
Calm
Excited
Angry
Emotional
Cold
Having the Key and applying the combination to understand the listener will begin the process of identifying the walls that breakdown communication.

The moment of enlightenment from today

Be uncommon and through enlightenment, take ownership of your conversations

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The Uncommon communicator is the individual that has the enlightenment to recognize in any situation whether communication has occurred. This uncommon communicator takes ownership of the conversation and possess the skills to navigate and facilitate the conversation to mutual understanding.

Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator podcast, your host James Gable and Brandon Thompson are here to bring enlightenment to the topic of communication.

Communication in training, we will cover two aspects:

The Trainer – are they effective?
The trainee – Are they trainable

1.For the Trainer:

Trainers are able to maintain a dialogue with various participants and groups of learners. Their strong communication and interpersonal skills help them attract and maintain attention, break the ice, shift the focus of learners when needed, and be heard by the audience.

Help the trainee to walk away with one thing

On-the-job training

On-the-job training is training that is undertaken in your place of work. Businesses can carry out several different types of on-the-job training:

Coaching

An experienced member of staff will work through a task step-by-step with an employee.

The experienced member of staff or ‘coach’ will support the employee through the learning process by passing on their knowledge and skills.

Role play

Role play involves acting out a scenario to see how an employee would perform under certain conditions.

This will allow the employee to practice appropriate ways to deal with situations that may occur in the workplace.

Job rotation

Members of staff can be rotated or moved through different jobs within the organisation so they acquire a range of skills from each department or job role.

Shadowing

Shadowing is when an employee observes another employee working to gain a better understanding of how they do their job. This is usually for a set period of time such as a few days.

Demonstration

Demonstration is when an employee watches a task or a particular process being carried out and then attempts the task/process themselves.

2.For the Trainee:

Signs a Job Applicant Is Trainable

Determining trainability may seem like a challenging task. How can you tell if a candidate is trainable just by talking with them? Here are a few key factors to consider.

Cognitive Ability
A Passion for Learning
Adaptability

The moment of enlightenment from today

Trainer or trainee , Communication is a 2 way street
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The Uncommon communicator is the individual that has the enlightenment to recognize in any situation whether communication has occurred. This uncommon communicator takes ownership of the conversation and possess the skills to navigate and facilitate the conversation to mutual understanding.

Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator podcast, your host James Gable and Brandon Thompson are here to bring enlightenment to the topic of communication.

vul·ner·a·bil·i·ty

noun

the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.
Open to attack or damage

Truth: Telling or expressing the truth, honesty

Honesty: Truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness. Freedom from deceit or fraud

What does Brené Brown say about vulnerability?

In her new book, Daring Greatly, Brené Brown describes vulnerability as "uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure." It's that unstable feeling we get when we step out of our comfort zone or do something that forces us to loosen control.

Shame is the fear of disconnection “I’m not good enough”

Enter discussion on the market-place of ideas

The discussion of vulnerability and even addressing the topic of shame is connecting with todays audience. 58 Million views of her 2010 Ted talk

Here are some traits of an effective leader:

Effective Communicators. Leaders are excellent communicators, able to clearly and concisely explain problems and solutions. ...
Accountable and Responsible. ...
Long-term Thinkers. ...
Self-motivated. ...
Confident. ...
People-oriented. ...
Emotionally Stable.

Listed below are the traits that bad leaders commonly exhibit:

Too bossy
Fearful of change
Unwilling or unable to communicate effectively
Dismissive of ideas other than their own
Lacking empathy
Inconsistent
Prone to blame others rather than accept responsibility themselves
Indecisive

Is the idea of shame and vulnerability in the concept of leadership a fad?

Take on the marketplace of ideas and decide for yourself.

We do believe that this is important in relationships but is this the fix for leadership?

The moment of enlightenment from today

Leadership comes in many skills, add to your tool chest

Leadership is a Russian doll?

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Managing and communicating through a crisis or incident is a skill everyone should have. A crisis can come in many sizes. From small family events to large corporation trouble. The plan starts with the basics.

Crisis: A time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger.

A time when a difficult or important decision must be made

Incident: an event or occurrence

There are Three stages that are common to all crisis or incidents

Pre-Crisis-------->Crisis------->Post-Crisis

Here are the 4 C’s of crisis communication to aid your business in the pre-crisis, mid-crisis and post-crisis phases.

Coordinate with your employees and make sure that everyone is on the same page.

Consider the risks and benefits of your crisis plan. You should be prepared for every scenario that might play out during a crisis situation.

Communicate with your audience. Consumers appreciate honesty, especially in a crisis. Make sure you keep them informed at every stage of a crisis.

Create and maintain trust by continuing the communication during the post-crisis phase.

Warren Buffett once said, “It takes twenty years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently”. You can not prevent crisis situations from happening, but you can decide how you will react to them as a company.

Whether you are in a crisis or preparing for one, remember to coordinate with employees, consider the risks and benefits of your plan, communicate honestly with your audience, and create trust by communicating post-crisis.

Ed Bradley said, “Be prepared, work hard, and hope for a little luck. Recognize that the harder you work and the better prepared you are, the more luck you might have”.

The moment of enlightenment from today

Have a Plan

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Common Male Workplace Communication Styles** |

Energetic
Businesslike Direct
Frank
Concise
Simple
Short
Externally oriented

Common Female Workplace Communication Styles

Sociable
Emotional
Diplomatic
Empathetic
Complex
Long Internally oriented

For Men when talking to Women:

Say more about how and why
Talk more quickly and include more detail
Accept that some conversations don’t need outcomes

For Men when listening to Women:

Listen longer and with more concentration
Watch for body language and feelings more
Allow more time for the conversation when necessary and Interrupt less

For Women when talking to Men:

Be more concise if possible
Be as clear and direct as you can
Talk more slowly and on one topic/subject at a time

For Women when listening to Men:

Be more explicit in your responses
Respond in structured/sequential ways
Appreciate the information conveyed (even when it is short)

The passive aggressive is a complicated individual that complicated our communication

Passive-aggressive behavior is characterized by a pattern of passive hostility and an avoidance of direct communication.[1][2] Inaction where some action is socially customary is a typical passive-aggressive strategy (showing up late for functions, staying silent when a response is expected).[2] Such behavior is sometimes protested by associates, evoking exasperation or confusion. People who are recipients of passive-aggressive behavior may experience anxiety due to the discordance between what they perceive and what the perpetrator is saying.

1. Lateness

2. Avoidance

People use many different avoidance strategies to display their aggression without being overt about it. Some examples include:

procrastination
avoiding returning a loved one’s call
avoiding certain topics of discussion, especially if they know the other person wants to discuss those topics
ignoring someone as a form of aggression, such as by not approaching them at a party

3. Weaponized kindness

4. Sarcasm

5. Silence

6. Subtle digs

7. Weaponized incompetence

There is no single method that works for all types of passive-aggressive behavior. Some options to consider include:

Responding to the emotions: Rather than discussing aggression, it may help to respond to a person’s emotions since passive aggression is an attempt to communicate them. “I know you are upset that I forgot your birthday, and I want to fix it. Can we work on a solution together?”
Avoiding counter-aggression: Some people respond to passive-aggression with more passive-aggression. This only undermines communication and can initiate a vicious cycle of escalating aggression.
Countering with open communication: Addressing passive-aggressive behavior for what it is can sometimes be helpful. Try naming the specific behavior, then asking the person to do something different. “When you stop speaking to me when you are angry, it means I cannot resolve the conflict with you. Can we try talking through this instead?”
Setting relationship boundaries: When a person refuses to acknowledge their aggression, it can be helpful to draw boundaries about what sort of behavior a person will tolerate. For example, a person might say they will not wait longer than 10 minutes when a loved one is late or continue calling when a person gives them the silent treatment.
Calling a person’s bluff: This can be effective when a person pretends to be unable to do something they actually can. A spouse might ask their partner to sign up for cleaning lessons or watch YouTube videos on styling children’s hair.

The moment of enlightenment from today

Recognize and address passive aggressive culture.

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Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator podcast, your host James Gable and Brandon Thompson are here to bring enlightenment to the topic of communication.

“Bad news does Not get better with time”

What we will cover today:

Why is it important to deliver bad news correctly and timely?
9 tips for successful delivery

1. Make eye contact.

As cliche as it sounds, it’s better for the receiving party to be sitting down. Make sure you sit down as well to avoid seeming too intimidating or overpowering. Bad news should always be delivered as gently as possible. Sitting down with the person you’re talking to can make him or her feel more comfortable, as it will give that person the impression that you genuinely care and want to break the news as nicely as possible.

2. Sort yourself out first.

It’s never good to give someone bad news while you’re upset. Try calming yourself down first. If you start giving people bad news while you’re emotional, you may forget to include all of the details. It can make the news seem worse to him or her, and you might make him or her uncomfortable. Make sure you’re calm and composed beforehand. Take a few deep breaths and emotionally prepare yourself for what you’re about to do.

3. Try to be neutral.

This is especially true if you personally have little or no connection to the news itself. If the person receiving the bad news is the only one affected, try your best to be neutral. Stick to what you know and don’t stray too far to any one side of the news.

4. Be prepared.

Rehearse what you’re going to say before you start speaking. You’re more likely to remember everything and to say it in a composed and logical way if you’re ready beforehand. It’s important that the receiving party know everything, so make sure you’re prepared to tell that person all that he or she needs to know.

5. Speak at the level you need to.

Don’t treat adults like children, and don’t treat children like adults. Make sure you evaluate the situation and the person before you speak. Talking to someone above or below his or her level of understanding will only make the bad news harder to hear. Or, even worse, it might make it seem like you don’t care enough to take the time to speak to the person properly.

6. Use facts.

Bad news is emotional and can be confusing for the person receiving it. Provide facts and evidence for why something happened or what went wrong. This way, he or she will be totally informed. If something can be done about the situation, the person will have full knowledge and can proceed from there.

7. Don’t negotiate.

If something bad happened, that’s that. It will only make things worse if you give someone false hope or make something seem better than it actually is. Stand firm in your assessment of the situation and tell the person exactly what you think.

8. Offer help.

Remember to be sympathetic and understanding of the situation. Offer any help you can or refer him or her to someone who can offer aid. Let the person know that you know this is difficult news to hear, and, if it’s appropriate, tell him or her that you understand what he or she is going through. It can be incredibly helpful to simply have someone offer sympathy in hard times.

9. Suggest solutions.

If something is fixable, let him or her know. It’s always best to remain optimistic, and if there is something to be done about the situation, be sure to keep that option open. If action can be taken, it’s often the case that it should be.

10. Use Sorry properly and effectively

The moment of enlightenment from today

Bad news does NOT get better with timeFollow us on Instagram: The_Uncommon_Communicator

Episode 23 – Vacation Communication

The Uncommon communicator is the individual that has the enlightenment to recognize in any situation whether communication has occurred. This uncommon communicator takes ownership of the conversation and possess the skills to navigate and facilitate the conversation to mutual understanding.

Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator podcast, your host James Gable and Brandon Thompson are here to bring enlightenment to the topic of communication.

Communicate your absence
Survive your relatives

Her are the 6 tips to communicate your absence:

1. Place conflicts on your calendar

2. Create an automated email & voicemail

3. Inform your colleagues that you’ll be away

4. Contact your important clients

5. Make yourself a checklist

6. Clean out your office

Two important things to remember

· You will NOT capture everything

· If you’re that Irreplaceable than you’re not a good leader

Vacation Communication – Surviving the family

The #1 reason for conflict on vacation…

Unmet expectations and unpleasant surprises

Unmet expectations and unpleasant surprises can easily cause fights on a family vacation.

Don't ever make assumptions. The best way to avoid unmet expectations and unpleasant surprises is to thoroughly research your destination, hotel, and activities before you leave home.

Brandon’s keys to success

1 Have a plan/ Research everything

2 Don’t Blame Other

3 Divide and Conquer

4 Plan Down time

The moment of enlightenment from today

Plan and communicate your absence

Use the Mantra – “YOUR ON VACATION”

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Truth,, Lies and Candor
Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator podcast, your host James Gable and Brandon Thompson are here to bring enlightenment to the topic of communication.

It takes a lot of truth to gain trust but just one lie to lose it all

Truth
Lies
Candor

Speaking the truth is one of the foundations of being an Uncommon Communicator. How we speak, recognize, and use it will determine the outcome.

Truth and trust have a deep connection. In Hebrew, both stem from the same root

Lies :

Who Gets Lied to the Most

1. Parents – 86%
2. Friends – 75%
3. Siblings – 73%
4. Spouses – 69%

Where the Most Lies are Seen

1. Resumes – 40%
2. Dating Site – 90%

Everyday Lying

– 6 lies are told daily by men to their partner, boss, or colleagues.
– 3 lies are told daily by women to their partner, boss, or colleagues.
– Lying is considered more common among phone calls than face to face chats.
– 1 lie in every 7 is discovered as far as liars can tell.
– A 10th of lies are just exaggerations and 60% were outright deceptions.
– 70% of liars claim they would tell their lies again.
– Americans tell an average of 11 lies a week.

People are surprisingly bad at detecting lies. One study, for example, found that people were only able to accurately detect lying 54% of the time in a lab setting—hardly impressive when factoring in a 50% detection rate by pure chance alone.3

Tips for lie detection

Being vague; offering few details.
Repeating questions before answering them.
Speaking in sentence fragments.
Failing to provide specific details when a story is challenged.
Grooming behaviors such as playing with hair or pressing fingers to lips.

Candor:

unreserved, honest, or sincere expression : FORTHRIGHTNESS

or:

the quality of being open and honest in expression; frankness.

Often referred to as refreshing

Radical Candor by Kim Scott

Radical: far-reaching or thorough.

Candor: being open and honest in expression.

In other words, radical candor is the quality of being thoroughly open and honest with others. When it comes to work and management, this means balancing care for your team members with helping them know where they need to improve.

The uncommon communicator should use Candor, Speaking the truth in love to make those around us better.

The moment of enlightenment from today

The uncommon communicator should use Candor, Speaking the truth in love to make those around us better.

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Like, follow and send in your reviews to your favorite Podcast platform“If we manage conflict constructively, we harness its energy for creativity and development – Kenneth Kaye

Today we discuss:

Conflict management
Conflict resolution

Management thru navigating at a personal level

Resolution by helping others manage to a resolution

Conflict Management

I’m proposing the SL2(i)M ApproachTM

Slow it down

Listen

Labels

Mirrors

This is using your best negotiation skills

Slow it down

· late night FM DJ voice

· let the emotions calm

· separate, if necessary, but don’t avoid

o If someone says “I’m good” after ethe separation and do not want to talk about it…They are NOT

Listen

· Sometime people just need to be heard; they need to express it out loud

· Use active listening techniques.

· Listen to listen, not to speak/

Labels

· Label the emotions, “it seems” “it feels like”

· Use labels to make sure you are hearing them correctly

Mirrors

· Repeat the last word or idea back to them. This allows for greater detail of their thoughts.

· Mirror their body language but also remain in an open stance, no crossed arms.

Conflict resolution

Top 5 keys to resolution:

1.Don't Ignore Conflict

2. Clarify What the Issue Is

3. Bring Involved Parties Together to Talk

4. Identify a Solution

5. Continue to Monitor and Follow Up on the Conflict

The moment of enlightenment from today

“If we manage conflict constructively, we harness its energy for creativity and development – Kenneth Kaye

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Like, follow and send in your reviews to your favorite Podcast platform2 topics to discuss today

Political correctness
Hate speech

Political Correctness PC

Political correctness (adjectivally: politically correct; commonly abbreviated PC) is a term used to describe language, policies, or measures that are intended to avoid offense or disadvantage to members of particular groups in society.[

Used in the 40’s and 50’s referring to debates between communist and socialist

The term "politically correct" was used disparagingly, to refer to someone whose loyalty to the CP line overrode compassion, and led to bad politics. It was used by Socialists against Communists, and was meant to separate out Socialists who believed in egalitarian moral ideas from dogmatic Communists who would advocate and defend party positions regardless of their moral substance.

— "Uncommon Differences", The Lion and the Unicorn[3]

In May 1991, at a commencement ceremony for a graduating class of the University of Michigan, then U.S. President George H. W. Bush used the term in his speech: "The notion of political correctness has ignited controversy across the land. And although the movement arises from the laudable desire to sweep away the debris of racism and sexism and hatred, it replaces old prejudice with new ones. It declares certain topics off-limits, certain expression off-limits, even certain gestures off-limits

· Started out as conservative criticism of the left and has played a major role in “culture war” between liberal and conservatives

· ( James) Modern usage is to temper the words we use to not offend.

Hate Speech

"public speech that expresses hate or encourages violence towards a person or group based on something such as race, religion, sex, or sexual orientation".[1] Hate speech is "usually thought to include communications of animosity or disparagement of an individual or a group on account of a group characteristic such as race, colour, national origin, sex, disability, religion, or sexual orientation

Theories ( Or Frameworks) :

The view that public discourse ought to serve as a marketplace of ideas. ( 19th century)

a. Everything must be debated

Critiques of group defamation laws are not limited to defenders of individual rights. Defamation is too narrow a category to fully counter hate speech.
a third framework for conceptualizing hate speech claims that speech can restructure social norms in violently subordinating ways Essentially, truth becomes truth because it is said to be true by a legitimate authority.

Research indicates that when people support censoring hate speech, they are motivated more by concerns about the effects the speech has on others than they are about its effects on themselves.

THE UC MOMENT : The moment of enlightenment from today

Free speech is still controversial today, know y

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The word has a bit of a unfair poor reputation. The uncommon communicators are here to enlighten the world to the true power and purpose behind the persuasive powerful communication.
Rhetoric is one of the three ancient arts of discourse called Trivium

Grammar – teaching the mechanics of language

Logic – is the mechanics of thought and analysis

Rhetoric – It is the application of language in order to instruct and persuade the listener or reader. It is the knowledge (grammar) now understood (logic) and being transmitted outwards as wisdom (rhetoric).

Aristotle taught that a speaker’s ability to persuade an audience is based on how well the speaker appeals to that audience in three different areas: logos, ethos, and pathos. Considered together, these appeals form what later rhetoricians have called the rhetorical triangle.

Logos (Logical) appeals to reason. Logos can also be thought of as the text of the argument, as well as how well a writer has argued his/her point.

Ethos (Ethical) appeals to the writer’s character. Ethos can also be thought of as the role of the writer in the argument, and how credible his/her argument is.

Pathos (passion) appeals to the emotions and the sympathetic imagination, as well as to beliefs and values. Pathos can also be thought of as the role of the audience in the argument.

Following one of the other meanings of the word, Aristotle gave logos a different technical definition in the Rhetoric, using it as meaning argument from reason, one of the three modes of persuasion. The other two modes are

pathos (πᾰ́θος, páthos), which refers to persuasion by means of emotional appeal, "putting the hearer into a certain frame of mind";[20] and

ethos (ἦθος, êthos), persuasion through convincing listeners of one's "moral character".[20] According to Aristotle, logos relates to "the speech itself, in so far as it proves or seems to prove".[2

The rhetorical triangle is typically represented by an equilateral triangle, suggesting that logos, ethos, and pathos should be balanced within a text. However, which aspect(s) of the rhetorical triangle you favor in your writing depends on both the audience and the purpose of that writing. Yet, if you are in doubt, seek a balance among all three elements

What is the UC Moment (Uncommon Communicator moment)

The moment of enlightenment from today
Understand and know your Rhetoric Triangle. Use your Ethos, Pathos and Logos

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We all know that the bridged version of the first amendment is the freedom of speech what else dose it protect and what is the exact verbiage? In this episode we break down the Fist Amendment line by line word by word. It is always important to know your rights but its also important to know the consequences of your actions.

The First Amendment (Amendment I) to the United States Constitution prevents the government from making laws which regulate an establishment of religion, or that would prohibit the free exercise of religion, or abridge the freedom of speech, the freedom of the press, the freedom of assembly, or the right to petition the government for redress of grievances. It was adopted on December 15, 1791, as one of the ten amendments that constitute the Bill of Rights.

Our ability to have free speech is one of the unalienable rights of being American.
We really dive into the freedoms and the constraints that come with it.

The defamation law:

Liable is a defamatory statement that is written
Slander is a defamatory statement that is written

We dabble into rhetoric and propaganda
Propaganda is information, especially of a biased or misleading nature, used to promote or publicize a particular political cause or point of view.

Affect and effect are very clear principles in communication

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See ya bye!!

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Like, follow and send in your reviews to your favorite Podcast platformStarbucks has grown from a Seattle based Coffee shop to a world renowned coffee chain. It is also a little intimidating for those not in the know or hip with the lingo. However it is very possible for anyone and everyone to order and receive a drink that they desire. Guest staring Anna Hanrahan supports the Uncommon Communicators to walk you through the sizes, a few simple drinks and maybe, just maybe after this episode you will have the basic foundation of knowledge to order at Starbucks.
The UC Moment is " start with the size" because size matters

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What do you, the uncommon communicators and The Washington State Department of Transportation have in common? Social Media, we all have it. What is the best advice that the uncommon communicators can give about social media? Listen in for the UC moment to find out.

If you really are interested in incredible pictures of food and dogs , follow James on james.gable.984 ...We were off by 1 in the show. misinformation IS a problem with social media!!

A quick search of social media best practices of social media and we found ourselves looking at the Washington State Department of Transportation. 8 pages as an employee guide to social media best practices.

We talk about:
Official use
Professional use at work
Personal use of social media at or outside work

Things to remember:
A bad social media misstep can result in front page news or even loss of you job.
Don't be misled by the casualness of social media contacts
Be aware that perceptions created by "friends"
Be responsible conversational

beabundantlyselfaware - Brandon Thompson

Be relevant and add value

We had to talk about Anthony Weiner , New York politician who found himself in the media spotlight after sending explicit photos through twitter.

This show is NOT sponsored by HBO MAX but we are willing to discuss

Don't forget that you have you have first amendment right to free speech, however there are plenty of other laws and rules that keep you from infringing on other peoples right and social media seems to remove the inhibitions from some and really put yourself into a space that you didn't intend.

Shout out to the #noBStribe and things that happen outside the gate

Shout out to John Garret and "What's your And" &

Brandon shares a story where Twitter drove the WB to spend another 80 Million dollars to release a cut of Justice league. A topic Brandon is very passionate about and that also made him extremely happy.

The UC Moment Be abundantly aware.

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The Brain Science fun continues! Joanna continues to dazzle the two of us with her wonderful insight into musical therapy and even a few questions about just music in general.

Joanna shares with us the the origins of her last name Ostrander

Talking about neurological affects on the brain that affects the individuals ability to process.

Joanna dives deep into the brain science talking about rhythm and the studies performers at CSU Colorado State University . Wernicke’s aphasia and Broca's aphasia are some great learnings on how the affect brain can be healed through therapy.

The brain continues to make new connections, new connections are made every time we have new experiences.
Touching on the animal and reptile brains falls right in line with the our many discussions about Never Split the Difference.

Mirrors are used in counseling called reflection. Using this in counseling they suggest using different but similar words. the goal is really to get clarification and a mutual understanding.

Reflection is the tool to better understand. A bit of a cross between labeling and mirrors.

In a turn during the conversation, Joanna chooses Pickard over Kirk. All important debate topics on a podcast about Communication.

Using mirrors are more affective on an assertive style of communicator and we get a clear example in our discussing. Mirrors are not as effective on someone who is a little more calm, so choose your tools wisely.

The UC Moment : Use your tools like mirrors wisely, they effect people in different ways.

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Like, follow and send in your reviews to your favorite Podcast platformMusic and communication go together like Peanut Butter and jelly. So, what can two Uncommon Communicators learn from a Music therapist? Tune in and find out! Joanna Ostrander is our guest. She is a true Uncommon Communicator. She started her career in music education and then turned to neural music therapy where she is doing amazing things Board Certified Music Therapist with experience with children and adults with Special Needs, Physical Impairment, Mental Illness, Substance Addiction, and Autism.

Graduating from the Denver school of the Arts with her High school diploma, Joanna went on to earn a Bachelor's degree in Music form MSU ( or MSCD) also studying spanish, physics and mathematics. Moving on to Colorado State University, Joanna earned her Masters in Music, while again studying Music therapy, psychology and anatomy. Simply stated...She has some credentials.

Communication is in everything that Joanna does. We spend some time talking about how she is able to disarm and engage in conversation. Listening is the common theme for tools of communication.

In this episode we learn about Joanna, in part 2 we really dive into Brain Science. Communication is so integral to everything we do!

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Like, follow and send in your reviews to your favorite Podcast platformIn this episode we have social media mogul Jesus ( Jesse) Hernandez!!! Jesse is the host of the Learnings and Missteps Podcast Click the link to see more :

https://www.learningsandmissteps.com/

Jesse brings his ripples of impact to the Uncommon Communicator. Bringing his unique style Jesse is the Uncommon Communicator sharing his moment of enlightenment at sharing tools of communication not just unique to the construction worker but for everyone.

"Control is an Illusion, at best I can influence things" - Jesse Hernandez

Sharing vulnerabilities that resulted from sharing his addictions have been powerful.

Learnings and Missteps main purpose is to enhance the image of the trades. Born out of the pandemic, Jesse dove into podcasting,

Jesse's best tool for communication is his two ears.
In true communication, One has to convey a message, one has to receive
Vulnerability as a tool or as a requirement requirement for listening ?

Vulnerability is a condition of communication - Jesse HernandezWe learn about the triad. One person is the owner of the problem, another is the coach and the third person is only listening. We find that a lot of leaders don't have good listening skills because they feel they need to be preparing to have an answer. The Triad is a skill building technique.
If the learner hasn't learned, the teacher hasn't taught. - David Verbal
We can change the world, one world at a time
When we share our gifts and talents we can change the world

Jesse the starfish

Lean and Love. - A book launch is coming February 18th.

Jesse's communication Misstep: Giving unsolicited advice.
Quick learner but a faster forgetter

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Trouble with texting? Whell you ain't alone, even the Uncommon Communicators trip over a text every now and then. Tune in to hear one of the best blunders of Brandon's texting career, along with a few tips and tricks to take your texting game to tremendous heights.

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The dreaded E-mail, we all know and use it. Some better than others, why is that? In the next thrilling instalment of the Uncommon Communicator podcast James and Bandon break down the dos and don'ts of these electronic messages. Listen in to hear the UC moment and maybe discover your voice in E-mail.

We cover the History of emails
What is an email?
Letters?
Document transmittals?
More professional "texts"?
They "are Forever"!!!!

Pit Falls:
Too Much back and forth
Emails as text- Go Team /Thanks
Too many words

The UC Moment: Find your Voice in Email

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This is it! This is the last episode of our coverage of the book Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss. Uncovering the Black Swan is the most important part of turning the tide in any negotiation and it will take all of our previous tools to get to the bottom and uncover these Swans.

Uncovering Unknown unknowns

3 Types of leverage
Positive
Negative
Normative

We will also discover the power of knowing their religion, or also stated as know their reality

The UC Moment : Know someone's worldview.

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Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator podcast, your host James Gable and Brandon Thompson are here to bring enlightenment to the topic of communication.

Everyone has their own style of negation, and it is important as a uncommon communicator to know just what kind of negotiator you and the individual you are negotiating with style as well? Discover your style and learn how to bargain had in this thrilling new episode of the Uncommon Communicator.

The UC Moment: Know yourself and know your counterparts style.

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Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator podcast, your host James Gable and Brandon Thompson are here to bring enlightenment to the topic of communication.

The Chapters most important concept:

Yes is nothing without how

Asking -How…Knowing-How…Defining-How…Are all part of the effective negotiator’s arsenal

Where we going ?

· Add some tools to our tool box

·

*The Louisiana prison siege Pg 162

Yes, is nothing without How

*Ecuadorian Eco-Tourists

5 mil …Held in jungle…How do I know Jose is alive? How can we raise that much?

Be wary of the committee

Tools for the Arsenal:

Spotting liars, Dealing with Jerks and charming everyone else

· Verbal, Para-verbal ( how its said) and non verbal communications

· Cab Kidnapper story

The 7-38-55 percent rule

· 7% is based on words

· 38% is based on tone of voice

· 55% is based on the speaker’s body language and face

The Rule of Three

· 3 kinds of yes’s Commitment, Confirmation and Counterfeit

· Simply get the guy to agree to something 3 different times

· Could be the same calibrated question phrased 3 ways

The Pinocchio effect

· Just like Pinocchio’s nose, the number of words grew along with the lie

Use of Pronouns

· Use of I, Me, My the less important they are

· We they them and most likely engaged with the leader

The Chris Discount

· Using your own name humanizes and creates forced empathy

· What’s the Chris Discount?

o Safety and Quality folks at work

Bidding against themselves

· Again…How am I supposed to do that?

· Saying no, without saying no

What is the UC Moment (Uncommon Communicator moment)

The moment of enlightenment from today

Yes is nothing without HOW

Asking, Knowing and and defining

Next time we talk about “ Bargain hard”

Followed by The Black Swan

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Creating the Illusion of Control is all about asking the right kind of questions. What kind of questions do you need to ask? listen to the latest episode of the uncommon communicator to find out!
Some very quotable quotes from this chapter:

Unbelief is the friction that keeps persuasion in check

The secret of gaining the upper hand in a negotiation is giving the other side the illusion of control

He who has learned to disagree with out being disagreeable has discovered the most valuable secret to negotiation

The best way to ride a horse is in the direction it is going.

The idea of Create the illusion of control came from an UC Moment for Chris…he calls it a Holy Shit moment (Same thing)

What do we learn about today:

· The greatest how question of all time

· How NOT to get paid.

o Scripting a negotiation with all the best practices we have learned so far.

The Greatest how question of all time:

Drug dealer, kidnaps another drug dealer’s girlfriend…Of course, what do they do? Call the FBI.

· Previously it was a tit for tat. You give me something, I give you something.

· “Hey Dog, how do I know she is alright”

o We’ll. I’ll put her on the phone

· This leads to the greatest how question of all time…

o How am I supposed to do that?

Suspending Unbelief

· According to Keven Dutton: Unbelief is active resistance to what the other side is saying, Complete rejection

o This is where all or most negotiations start.

o Unbelief is the friction that keeps persuasion in check

How not to get paid:

· The critical importance of self-control: If you can’t control your emotions, how can you influence the emotions of another party?

· Pg 156 Story of freelance marketing firm not getting paid from a new CEO

· Calibrated open ended questions take the aggression out of a confrontational statement.

· Perhaps, maybe, I think, it seems allows you to introduce ideas and requests with out sounding overbearing and pushy

· Avoid: Can, Is, Are, do, or does

o Best is What and How and sometimes why

· The Script: Pg 157

o 90% success rate

o Think and plan

What is the UC Moment (Uncommon Communicator moment)

The moment of enlightenment from today

Create the illusion of control – Control your emotions and suspend their unbelief

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James and Brandon tackle the next chapter in Chris Voss's book never split the difference "Bending their Reality". In this episode the nuts and bolts and back and forth of negotiation are discussed, along with the shocking revelation behind the title of the book. listen close and you just might hear one of the greatest jokes ever told: and as always the UC moment is something to remember and move forward with. Ladies and Gentleman this is "Bending their Reality"

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Like, follow and send in your reviews to your favorite Podcast platformThe Uncommon communicator is the individual that has the enlightenment to recognize in any situation whether communication has occurred. This uncommon communicator takes ownership of the conversation and possess the skills to navigate and facilitate the conversation to mutual understanding.

In this episode we discover how to uncover "that's Right"
We continue our Journey through "Never Split the difference" by Chris Voss. the meat of this chapter is found in Pgs 97-98.

The active listening arsenal is employed using many of the things we have learned in previous episodes:
1. Effective pauses

2. Minimal encouragers

a. Yes, ok, I see

3. Mirroring

4. Labeling

5. Paraphrasing

6. Summarize

a. Paraphrasing + labeling =Summery

b. Articulating the meaning and acknowledging the emotions

The UC Moment:
That's Right is better than your right.

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Like, follow and send in your reviews to your favorite Podcast platform The Uncommon communicator is the individual that has the enlightenment to recognize in any situation whether communication has occurred. This uncommon communicator takes ownership of the conversation and possess the skills to navigate and facilitate the conversation to mutual understanding.

Story summary:

She tells Chris that he needs to go volunteer at a Suicide hotline and go away. He does, learns some lessons from that time. In one particularly proud moment, Chris was certain that he had a great conversation, talked the guy down, he was happy with the results. His supervisor thought it was the worst call ever! This is where we learn about the counterfeit YES and the power of NO! Chris did eventually go back and he did end up getting the job.

The 2 Key things we learn from this chapter:

NO Starts the negotiation
The 3 kinds of Yes’s
An email magic trick

NO starts the negotiation

· No is a gateway to yes

It allows the giver time to pivot, adjust and re-examine.
It allows the person some feeling of control but also some time to think
It actually creates the environment to get to the one YES that matters

Start with NO

In Jim Camps book “Start with No” we learn to give our adversary the permission to say no at the very onset.

He calls it the right to “Veto” and people will fight to the death for the right to say NO…So give it to them

This creates a much more constructive and collaborative environment.

You have to train yourself to hear no as something other than rejection

I’m not yet ready to agree

You are making me uncomfortable

I do not understand

I don’t think I can afford it

I want something else

I need more information

I want/need to talk it over with someone else.

Ask solution-based questions to better understand

o What about this doesn’t work for you?

o What would you need to make this work?

o It seems like there’s something here that bothers you

· People have a need to say NO…Don’t just hope to hear it, but get them to say it, and say it early

The 3 Kinds of Yes’s

· The Counterfeit

o You are given a yes because it an easy escape route

o They are only saying yes to get more information

· The Confirmation

o An affirmation without any real commitment

· The Commitment

o The real deal, a true agreement that leads to action

· The three types of YES sound very much the same. You need to train yourself to learn how to recognize the subtle differences

Email Magic

o Have you given up on this project?

o Example, I was planning on getting there but got my response with an email that included “ I’ve set several emails and have left you a couple of voice mails…

What is the UC Moment (Uncommon Communicator moment)

The moment of enlightenment from today

No Starts the negotiation, Allowing the other person some time to think and gives the Uncommon Communicator the opportunity to ask solutions based questions to really understand.

Next time we talk about “ That’s Right!”

Episode 3 Labels

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Read Pg. 49 Paragraph 2

Summary of story:

· In 1998, a tense standoff in a narrow hallway on the 27th floor of a Harlem high rise . No telephone to call so for 6 hours it was talking through the door without any response from the holdouts. Using late night FM DJ voice, labeling their suspected fears
“It looks like you don’t want to come out”
“It looks like you don’t want to go back to jail”
“It seems like you worry that if you open the door, we will come in guns blazing”
The door finally opens, and all three fugitives came out. All three fugitives said that they didn’t want to get shot and Chris’s voice calmed them down

We learn 3 key things from this chapter :

Tactical empathy (trade mark Black swan group)
Labeling
Accusation Audits

Tactical Empathy

o “Empathy is the ability to recognize the perspective of a counterpart and the vocalization of that recognition”.

o “It’s not about agreeing with the other persons beliefs, values or giving out hugs…that’s called sympathy”

o It’s seeing the situation from the others perspective.

o Tactical empathy is a step beyond

o Its understanding the feelings and mindset of another in the moment

o Its about hearing what is behind the feelings to increase your influence in all the moments that follow

o Its emotional intelligence on steroids

o Negotiators use empathy because it works. Empathy is why the 3 fugitives came out after 6 hours.

o Sun Tzu is quoted as saying “The supreme are of war is to subdue your enemy without fighting.

Labeling

o Labeling is validating someone’s emotions by acknowledging it.

o A shortcut to intimacy and a time saving emotional hack

o Labeling has a special advantage if the person is tense. Exposing negative thought to daylight makes them less frightening

o Reinforces good aspects and diffuses bad ones

o For some, Labeling can be one of the most awkward negotiating tools to use.

o Its tough at first but no one even notices you’re doing it!!

o Words, tone and body language provide a wealth of knowledge for you to work with.

o Once you have spotted the emotion…label it

o It sounds like

o It seems like

o It looks like

o The final rule of labeling …

o Silence …let it lay there and resist the urge to say anything and it will work its magic.

Accusation Audit

o Turns labeling into a process where applied systematically you can disarm your counterpart

Other takeaways:

Get a seat and an upgrade on a sold-out flight

Label, tactical empathy, label…and then the request

Research shows that the best way to deal with negativity is to observe it without reaction, label each negative feeling and replace it with a positive, compassionate solution-based thoughts.

What is the UC Moment (Uncommon Communicator moment)

Empathy helps you be the uncommon communicator by knowing if conversation is taking place, Labels are tools the tool box to make you a better listener and communicator.

Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator Podcast! In this premier episode you learn a little about your hosts James Gable and Brandon Thompson.
The Uncommon communicator is the individual who has obtained the enlightenment that in any situation can know whether or not communication has occurred.

This uncommon communicator takes ownership of the conversation and possess the skills to navigate and facilitate the conversation to mutual understanding.

Follow us on Instagram @The_Uncommon_Communicator
Join our growing Facebook Community page: The Uncommon Communicator

Email your questions to: theuncommoncommunicator@outlook.com. We welcome your questions, feedback and show ideas which may be featured on an upcoming episode.

In coming episodes we will dive into the Book "Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss. Chris is a former FBI hostage negotiator who take his skills negotiating with terrorists and applies these skills to life and business. My favorite quote from Chris is " Negotiating is simply communication with results." We take these timeless principles and apply them to The Uncommon communicator Mantra of Enlightenment and Ownership of your communications.

Episode 1 – The New Rules

In this episode we introduce the book "Never Split the Difference" by Chri Voss.
We discuss the 9 key principles of negotiation, Remember...negotiation is simply communication with results.

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The Uncommon communicator is the individual that has the enlightenment to recognize in any situation whether communication has occurred. This uncommon communicator takes ownership of the conversation and possess the skills to navigate and facilitate the conversation to mutual understanding.

Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator podcast, your host James Gable and Brandon Thompson are here to bring enlightenment to the topic of communication.

Intro “ Never Split The Difference”

Read back cover…After a stint …..

There are 9 key principles

Active listening
Mirroring, silences and the night time DJ voice
Tactical Empathy
Summaries and paraphrasing resulting in “That’s Right”
No starts the negotiating
Bending reality by anchoring emotions and navigating deadlines to create urgency
Calibrated questions
1. Employ calibrated questions through how questions
Effective bargaining
The elusive Black Swan

Negotiation is nothing more than communication with results

Every chapter has a story that ties into the principle. In the opening chapter we learn of a Chris’s experience at a 2006 Harvard law school winter negotiation course.

Story of Andy

“How am I supposed to do that?”

Tversky and Kahneman both proved that all humans suffered from Cognitive bias. Discovered more than 150 of them

· Framing effect

o People respond differently to the same choice depending on how its framed

· Prospect theory

o Taking unwarranted risks in the face of uncertain losses

· Loss Aversion

o Statistically more likely to act to avert a loss in the than to achieve an equal gain

Kahneman codified his research in 2011 “ Thinking fast and slow”

· System 1 - The animal mind

o Fast, instinctive and emotional

· System 2 – The logical mind

o Slow, deliberate and logical

This is exactly what was in play with “ How am I supposed to do that?”

· Influenced the emotional mind into believing the offer wasn’t good enough

· Rationalized the logical mind to into accepting that it made sense to give a better offer.

What is the UC Moment (Uncommon Communicator moment)

The moment of enlightenment from today

Negotiation is nothing more than communication with results

Next time we talk about “ how to be a mirror”

In this episode we discover the power of Mirrors and the powerful late night FM DJ voice.

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Episode 2 – Be a Mirror**

The Uncommon communicator is the individual that has the enlightenment to recognize in any situation whether communication has occurred. This uncommon communicator takes ownership of the conversation and possess the skills to navigate and facilitate the conversation to mutual understanding.

Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator podcast, your host James Gable and Brandon Thompson are here to bring enlightenment to the topic of communication.

Read pg. 24 paragraph 3 – When we got the call.…

Summary of the event:

· September 30th, 1993 2 masked robbers trigger and alarm at Chase Manhattan bank in Brooklyn

· Chris watts and Bobby Goodwin attempted robbery of a bank and ended up in a hostage negotiation.

· With the 7th largest standing army in the world ( THE NYPD) waiting outside it became a stand off of monumental proportions.

· Ultimately called a success, no nobody got hurt , the bad guys in custody but this situation revealed how much was needed to be learned but at the same time they were awakened to and inspired by the elemental power of emotion and dialogue

There are 3 things to learn from this chapter :

Mirrors
Late night FM DJ voice
It’s really not that easy to listen

Mirrors

· A real life Jedi mind trick

o Gives you the ability to disagree with out being disagreeable

· Can be awkward at first and takes practice

· Repeat the last word or few words and wait

· Encourages empathy, bonding, keeps people talking buys you time and often reveals your counterpart’s strategy

Late night FM DJ Voice

· Downward inflecting voice keeping it calm and slow

· Creates an aura of authority and trust worthiness.

Listening

· Not really a principle but found in the section called “calm the schizophrenic where Chris talks about the team that is brought in to listen

· The FBI has come to the conclusion that it takes a team to listen, and that should be a wakeup call that its not that easy to listen well.

· We are easily distracted, engage in selective listening cognitive bias enters in.

· Make your sole and all-encompassing focus the other person and what they have to say.

· True active listening and other tactics we will learn later all help to disarm our counterparts and make them feel safe

What is the UC Moment (Uncommon Communicator moment)

The moment of enlightenment from today

Listening and letting others be heard is the beginning of all good communication

Next time we talk about “Don’t feel their pain…Label it!”

On December 1st, The uncommon Communicator will unleash 3 episodes!! Share this trailer and lock it in your favorites so your ready when the first episodes drop.

The Uncommon communicator is the individual who has obtained the enlightenment that in any situation can know whether or not communication has occurred.

This uncommon communicator takes ownership of the conversation and posses the skills to navigate and facilitate the conversation to mutual understanding.

The goal of this podcast is to enlighten, entertain and keep open the discussion of Communication. We are NOT the ultimate experts, with Harvard psych degrees. James brings decades in the construction industry with experience in talking to tradesmen as well as owners and Brandon brings his fancy paper as a communication major and unique style that he has developed working with the public as a Starbucks barista. What we do offer is insight and an ongoing conversation that is focused to help anyone to improve, develop or even master techniques of communication.

All episodes end with the UC Moment. The one thing, if you can recall anything that you could think on and apply right away to your conversations, or evoke thoughts that lead to growth.

Help us get a great start by sharing this with your friends, colleagues and co-workers and we will reward with with even MORE free episodes!! See ya Bye!

Short trailer as a teaser for the soon to be released THE UNCOMMON COMMUNICATOR Podcast with James Gable and Brandon Thompson. Episodes releasing on December 1st.