Andrew Sillitoe Show: Recent Episodes
Andrew Sillitoe
Welcome to The 4 Keys Podcast, where we delve into the transformative journey of business owners seeking to improve both their work and life. I'm Andrew, your host, and guide on this adventure.
In this podcast, we delve into The 4 Keys Method, a unique and powerful framework specifically designed to help entrepreneurs achieve balance, success, and fulfilment in every aspect of their lives.
But first, let me share a bit about my own personal journey. For over a decade, I travelled the globe as a management consultant, assisting corporate leaders in building winning teams. However, in 2017, my life took an unexpected turn when my wife left me. This event prompted me to embark on a personal transformation, leading me to walk away from my lucrative consulting career and focus on redefining success on my own terms.
In the midst of this transformation, I had a vision: to share my journey with other business owners. I believed prioritising health and well-being would be the cornerstone of our collective success. Thus, I began documenting and sharing my experiences with peers, leading to remarkable results for myself and others.
Through the implementation of The 4 Keys Method, I underwent a remarkable transformation. I went from feeling mentally exhausted and physically unwell to experiencing newfound vitality and happiness within just 12 weeks. Encouraged by these results, I formed a mastermind group of like-minded entrepreneurs who sought to join me on this journey.
In January 2019, I published my book, "The 4 Keys," which quickly became a bestseller, further solidifying the impact of this transformative approach. Nine months later, my wife and I reconciled, embarking on a new adventure together in Prague, where we welcomed our fourth child into the world in 2022.
Now, I lead a mastermind dedicated to teaching business owners how to achieve balance in their health, relationships, and mindset while growing their businesses. When I'm not coaching entrepreneurs, you can find me on the ice as a professional hockey coach, mentoring startups in Prague, or investing in innovative ventures.
Join me on The 4 Keys Podcast as we explore the keys to unlocking success and fulfilment in business and life. Let's embark on this journey together and build the business and life you love.
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6 Lessons I Learned About Visualisation for Sports That You Can Apply to Business
In this podcast, we will discuss the power of visualisation and how to shape your business and life to stay in flow.
We will embark on a profound journey into the world of visualisation and its transformative potential for your businesses and life.
As we approach the end of the year, as a leader, you would do well to tap into this remarkable tool.
It might sound like I getting a bit metaphysical, but stay with me.
Today, we'll explore the power of visualisation and its potential impact on your future.
I've personally witnessed how this practice has shaped my life, both in sports and in business.
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In the ever-demanding realm of modern business leadership, CEOs often find themselves juggling an avalanche of decisions and responsibilities that could make even a superhero's head spin.
The constant whirlwind of pressure can leave anyone feeling like they've stumbled into a tornado of stress and burnout. Amidst the chaos, focusing on those long-term goals can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack.
I this episode, I share 5 essential practices that will enable you to stay in flow.
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Flow and getting in the zone was my secret weapon, whether I was on the ice playing hockey, deeply immersed in a project, or captivating an audience through public speaking.
But, like all powerful tools, flow has its pitfalls. For me, the side effect of such intense focus was exhaustion — a kind of weariness that seeped into my bones and left me drained, especially when I needed to switch gears and be present for my family.
It's a familiar narrative for many high-achievers: giving every task, whether work or workout, a hundred per cent. When everything feels like it's set to the highest stakes, the pressure can be relentless.
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In the high-pressure business world, where every decision can make or break your company, the fear of failure and the stress of uncertain outcomes can often feel overwhelming.
But what if I told you there’s a powerful way to cope with and thrive in this stress?As an international hockey player and now public speaker and coach, I’ve experienced the paralysing fear of failure firsthand.
However, I’ve also discovered a transformative path that can help you move from the struggle of denial to the freedom of flow.
Welcome to the world of “Make Peace with the Game.”
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Today, I'm going to talk about aligning your purpose and passion with a plan. It's a holistic path. To CEO flow. And when I say CEO, This is not just a title reserved for those at the helm of Fortune 500 companies. It's a role. It's a mindset. Whether you are an aspiring leader. For the top excellence of the corporate world. We're a solopreneur, carving out your unique path. You embodied the spirit of a CEO. You're in command. Steering your enterprise and, by extension, your life admits the intricate dance of complexity and uncertainty we all face. To manage the mist, navigate these challenges with foresight, adaptability, and resilience. Every decision, every action, every strategy. Is a Testament of your leadership. Not just in business but in life itself. And that's what I mean by flow. Because at the heart of this intricate dance lies the ability to synchronise your purpose. Andrew passion. And encapsulate them with a tangible, actionable 90-day plan. Because without the plan, it's just fluffy. Woo, woo stuff. Right? So to achieve this synchronisation, the concept of flow. Is essential. So, let's start by understanding the pitfalls of distraction and misaligned focus. I get it. I'm a business owner. I've walked the path of growing a business and leading teams, and the alert of the next big thing is intense.
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How can we remain consistently in Flow, ensuring peak performance?
The answer lies in anticipating the triggers that divert us from our optimal state.
During my early days as an athlete and later in my sales job, I was often caught off-guard by unforeseen disruptions that took me out of my groove.
In this episode I share tips and tools to identify your triggers and stay in flow.
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Have you ever had moments when the world falls away, and you’re entirely in the ‘now’?
This isn’t just a fleeting feeling but a scientifically backed phenomenon known as ‘flow’, first identified by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.
When not managed effectively, the ‘mist’, comprised of internal and external triggers, clouds our clarity, disrupting the harmony of our mind and environment.
I remember during hockey games, every pass and shot seemed effortless. I felt invincible. But there were games clouded by distractions and self-doubt. This experience I coined as the ‘mist’ in my book Managing The Mist.
While flow emerges as the hero, guiding us towards unparalleled performance and blissful immersion, the mist is its formidable antagonist.
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Last week, I learned more about the profound connection between risk and life and the thread that runs through the very fabric of our existence.
I had the privilege to spend 90 minutes talking with Geoff Trickey, a charted psychologist who it’s an honour to call my friend. We talked about risk, human psychology and peak performance.
Geoff is the creator of Risk Type Compass. The design of the Risk Type Compass is striking in terms of (a) its psychological reasoning and (b) its technical test development perspective. It offers an innovative conceptualisation of personality related to risk perception, threat reaction, and propensity for risk-taking.
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Ignite Your Expertise, Achieve Mastery and Find Your FlowBe really good at what you’re good at.Let’s start with a bold statement: The best athletes who compete at the top level know their skill set inside out. They understand their strengths and where they can add value to their teams.
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In this podcast, I share 4 Ways to Achieve Flow Amidst Life's Chaos.
Navigating the demands and challenges of life often feels like trying to peer through a foggy window.
My journey with "Managing The Mist" has illuminated a path to profound clarity within this chaos.
This transformative experience has guided me towards achieving clarity in four remarkable ways since I penned the first edition in 2013.
Welcome to today's show. We will discuss thinking like a sports scout when hiring people for your business. We talk about clarifying your strategy before you even think about hiring people. We talk about always networking, hiring, and ensuring that you are showing up in the best possible way as a business leader.
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Today I am joined by Matt Davies, leadership consultant, executive coach and speaker, and we go deep into the parallel universe of the FTSE 100 and the premier league. And we also go into whether the education system is doing enough to develop future leaders.
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In today's fast-paced business world, clarity and simplicity are paramount. Yet, many business owners often complicate their vision with vague, convoluted statements that fail to resonate with their teams and customers.
The result?Confusion, wasted time, and missed opportunities. As a business leader who has experienced the frustration of crafting vision statements that ultimately confused my sales teams, I empathise with the struggle to find the right approach.
This podcast will explore how focusing on three clear goals can transform your business and empower your team.
Welcome to "The Journal of a Head Coach," the podcast where sports strategies and business leadership intersect. Join your host, Andrew, a seasoned practitioner and consultant, as he navigates the world of athletics and translates its invaluable lessons into actionable insights for success in the business realm.
In each episode, Andrew shares his wealth of knowledge and lived experiences as a head coach and consultant, blending practical wisdom with strategic thinking. From the thrilling victories to the challenging defeats, he pulls back the curtain on the strategies that drive sports teams to greatness and reveals how those very strategies can be applied to excel in the dynamic landscape of business leadership.
Andrew explores various themes through captivating storytelling and compelling analysis, including teamwork, strategy, motivation, adaptability, and more.
Drawing inspiration from renowned coaches, athletes, and successful entrepreneurs, he uncovers the hidden connections between the sporting arena and the boardroom, offering a fresh perspective that will revolutionise how you approach leadership.
But this podcast isn't just about theory but tangible results. Andrew takes you beyond the concepts and provides practical applications, exercises, and tips that you can implement immediately to enhance your leadership skills and drive your business to new heights.
Whether you're a seasoned executive, a budding entrepreneur, or a passionate sports enthusiast, "The Journal of a Head Coach" is your go-to resource for bridging the gap between sports strategies and business success.
So, get ready to be inspired, educated, and empowered as Andrew shares his deep insights and actionable strategies to transform how you lead your team, make critical decisions, and achieve remarkable results.
Subscribe now and embark on a journey that will propel you towards becoming an exceptional leader in the game of business.
"The Journal of a Head Coach"—where sports strategies become your playbook for business triumphs.
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Daniel Priestley is an entrepreneur, best-selling author and international speaker. Starting with nothing, he built successful multi-million dollar businesses in Australia, UK and Singapore.
By working with some of the world’s most successful people, Daniel discovered there are 5 strengths that the top entrepreneurs, business owners and leaders possess.
I don't know about you, but to me, it looks like all these shiny new gadgets and wearable tech were supposed to make our lives easier, but instead, they're just giving us more reasons to pull our hair out and hit the burnout button!
And it's a paradox that's leaving me scratching my head.
So, why is this happening?
Well, there are a few reasons.
Firstly, the line between work and personal time has become blurred with the rise of remote work and the constant connectivity that technology provides. I have found it harder than ever to switch off from work, leading to longer hours, increased stress, and potential burnout.
Secondly, the pressure to constantly be productive and on top of things has increased. The myth of the 4-hour week has led many of us to believe that we should be able to achieve more in less time, leading to a feeling of guilt when we can't live up to these expectations.
Lastly, the digital world can be isolating and lonely, leading to a feeling of disconnectedness and a lack of social support. This can have a significant impact on our mental health.
While technology has the potential to improve our lives and our work, it's crucial to be aware of its potential impact on our mental health. We need to be mindful of our digital habits, take care of our mental health, and seek support if needed. Only then can we truly reap the benefits of technology and avoid the dangers of burnout.
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Negative self-talk can majorly impact our mental health and well-being, but it is possible to overcome it with the right tools and support.
In this video, Andrew Sillitoe shares how we can work towards a more positive and constructive self-talk pattern and improve our overall mental health and work at our full potential.
How to set intentions instead of goals can be a valuable mindset shift for personal growth and self-improvement. Like, instead of developing a plan to lose 10 pounds in the next 3 months, I set an intention to prioritize my physical health by making healthier food choices and incorporating regular exercise into my daily routine.
By focusing on the present moment and aligning my actions with my values, I can make sustainable changes that lead to a greater sense of fulfilment and satisfaction. And let's be real, who doesn't love a good steak?
Another reason I set intentions is that they allow for more flexibility and adaptability. When I set a goal, I often feel like I have to stick to a strict plan, like a hockey coach yelling at me to "skate faster and shoot harder", which can be frustrating if I encounter obstacles or change my mind. However, when I set an intention, I can adjust my approach to align with my current situation and values. This allows for growth and change without the added stress of feeling like I have failed.
Additionally, setting intentions is empowering because it allows me to take ownership of my actions and make choices that align with my values and desires. Goals can often feel like external pressures or expectations imposed upon me, but intentions come from a deeper understanding of myself and what I truly want.
Setting intentions allows me to define success on my own terms and create a sense of purpose that aligns with my values and desires.
Setting intentions can be a powerful tool for personal growth and self-improvement. They focus on the present moment and are flexible and adaptable.
Instead of setting specific goals, I set intentions that align with my values and desires and see how they can positively impact my life.
Like scoring the winning goal in hockey, it's all about the journey, not just the destination!
Email me at andrew@andrewsillitoe.com with your thoughts on this topic.
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In this episode, we talk about the difference between extrinsic and intrinsically motivated leaders and why leaders who transform into intrinsically motivated leaders have a competitive advantage over those who don't.
Listen in to hear stories and anecdotes from high-performing business owners who have levelled up their mindset and positively impacted the world.
Welcome to season 6! I'm so excited about this new show. Amazing guests join me in this episode. They are members of The 4 Keys Mastermind and mentors on the programme.
Tune in. This is an awesome show.
Agreeing on behaviours within your team is one of the most important aspects of leadership. By not agreeing on a set of behaviours, it is impossible to hold each other accountable.
Creating above-the-line and below-the-line behaviours that everyone agrees on, will enable us to set boundaries and therefore create an environment where everyone is able to hold each other accountable. These rules should be conducive to achieving your vision and should be aligned with your goals.
Our role as leaders is to recognise that we can't change people, people can only change themselves, but we can help raise awareness of their behaviours. So when it comes to accountability, the most crucial part is holding people accountable for their behaviour, and then skills and knowledge follow after.
To find out more, head to my website.
Is your house in order for 2023?* Answer 15 questions against five critical factors * It takes two minutes * Receive a personalised report immediately
LINK TO QUESTIONNAIRE
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Allowing your team to analyse what is working well for them and what could be better creates more ownership and responsibility, so the idea of getting people to personally reflect is so important.
When we do this in business or sports, and everyone shares what they feel is going well, what they have contributed or what could have been better, everybody starts to relax a little.
With this episode, learn how to implement a thorough review process so that you and your team can assess what is working well and what isn't, resulting in the ability to fail fast and learn quick.
Is your house in order for 2023?
- Take the questionnaire
- It takes two minutes
- Receive a personalised report immediately
https://playercoach.scoreapp.com/
In my experience, it's impossible to grow a business without identifying a group of people who can support and challenge you, who can help you grow your business and can be the people who maintain the culture and have shared values and beliefs in what you're doing.
Grow and scale your team by using this simple method to create future leaders that will help align your business' values and goals.
Is your house in order for 2023?
- Take the questionnaire
- It takes two minutes
- Receive a personalised report immediately
https://playercoach.scoreapp.com/
It is a common belief that many leaders think they need to have all the answers, that they need to be a fountain of knowledge to be able to be put on the spot and be able to put a fire out and deal with problems immediately, and if they don't then they think they will be seen as weak. But actually, it's the complete opposite.
Ask these three questions to inspire action, increase engagement, increase buy-in and improve productivity within your team.4
Is your house in order for 2023?
- Take the questionnaire
- It takes two minutes
- Receive a personalised report immediately
https://playercoach.scoreapp.com/
The idea of embracing failure and recognising that something is going on at a neurological level, is hardwired in all of us as human beings.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to compose yourself under pressure and manage the fight or flight response. The brain doesn't differentiate from one threat to another, it just responds.
It doesn't care whether it's a sabre-tooth tiger, a keynote speech or if you're putting to win the championship on the 18th hole, it doesn't care.
It's just going to respond.
Is your house in order for 2023?
- Take the questionnaire
- It takes two minutes
- Receive a personalised report immediately
https://playercoach.scoreapp.com/
I think one of the most essential skills that any player-coach, leader, or business owner can develop is the ability to mentor people and see it as a real skill.
I think that sometimes when we're having these conversations with people, and when I talk about mentoring, I'm talking about sitting down, having a one-to-one and having a conversation that doesn't mention KPIs or results, but just a real conversation.
The ability to ask questions that make people think and feel challenged, but get them to think through their challenges to help them get creative, to help them think about where they are now and what's getting in their way and how to help them get unstuck, to help them think through what their actions could be and what options they've got to solve that problem and ultimately achieve their goal, then that's our role as a mentor.
One of the things I see in the player-coach and leaders of all levels is a need to fix people. They see a problem, and I suppose maybe it's hard-wired in our DNA to see threats, that when we see a threat, we want to deal with it, and I think that as coaches, we often see the gaps in people.
We must remember that we can't change people, we can only help them reflect on change, and this has to be self-directed.
So, have these conversations where you can get your team to think and reflect on their performance, but always start with the highlights and the strengths of what's working well and then help them build on the areas they need to develop.
You've got to have a game plan. You need to know where you're going, where you are now and how you will get there. It seems slightly obvious to say have a game plan, and it might be something that you struggle with. It might be something that, when you think about what you truly want in your business and where you're going, it might not be that easy to articulate or get clear about.
I'm going to share with you some information through this program that will not only help you shape that game plan but also make sure it gets implemented, works, and is successful.
Humans have evolved in remarkable and countless ways. From Stonehenge to putting a man on the moon. From the Bayeux Tapestry to the Industrial Revolution, to air travel to being able to FaceTime your parents, even though they keep holding their phone to their ear during the conversation.
You have to admit we've gained a lot of knowledge since that time we were supposedly all fish. And we're not afraid to use it.
Understanding, embracing and mastering technology allows us to reach people in more ways and in less time than ever before. When it comes to success, technology has a lot to answer for. But it is also the cause of a lot of failures.
The problem with remote management is it can allow managers to be able to manage without knowing their team at all. And that's where I think this advancement of technology has gone too far.
My name is Andrew Sillitoe, and today we are discussing how to future-proof your business and your career as a manager. Welcome to the Player-Coach Podcast.
Balancing is not that easy to picture, and I think that’s because it is even harder to achieve.
As a player-coach, it can be challenging to see what balance looks like, but it doesn’t have to be difficult to achieve. With a few simple changes, in this podcast I will help you not only imagine what balance looks like but also help achieve it.
It’s a tale as old as time. You’re all sitting around the boardroom table, sipping the last of the water in your glass, and staring through the empty communal water jugs, as five o’clock turns to half five, which turns to six.
You start composing another apology message to your partner in your head so you can rattle it off quickly as you leave the meeting and rush towards the later half of rush hour.
You shift uncomfortably in your seat, which has now been beneath you for so many hours it is essentially a plaster cast of your own behind.
And as six o’clock turns to seven and another page of the flip chart is revealed. There are almost inaudible sighs and groans, and you, naturally, start plotting your colleagues’ quick and painful murder.
No? Just me then.
This podcast is not about how I have escaped prison. In fact, I am happy to say I now rarely plan anything other than making sure I have dinner with my family, but that is because I now know how to solve problems with, and within, my team.
There are two things you need to know about the simple secret to success.
One - it is simple. Incredibly easy. So basic, in fact, it will leave you screaming, "why didn't I think of that" whilst shaking your fist towards the sky and speaking in an accent you would describe as "vaguely Hollywood".
The second thing you need to know about the simple secret to success is…that it's a secret.
If you’ve ever heard the sound of hundreds of plates smashing all over the floor around you will know three things.
1) it is loud - the kind of noise that makes time both slow down and speed up all at once
2) it is dangerous - sort of the grown up version of one of the games my children play where the floor is lava and if you step on the shrapnel your feet will be destroyed and
3)...this is the point I really wanted to make… you are spinning too many plates and you are spinning them badly.
If you’ve been guilty of this, as I have, then chances are you are a high achiever, a big contributor to the team and you’re trying to lead your team at the same time. And it is not easy.
Maybe you are the sort of person who wants to set the targets, lead the meetings, present the presentation, cook the staff lunch and build the office.
Maybe you’re the sort of person who wants to hire the team, do the marketing, close deals and arrange the annual work outings. Perhaps you are the sort of person who is first in and last out, the person the buck stops with and the person the company vision started with…
If that’s you then you’re a player-coach, my friend.
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Remember when the US Army had a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy? If you missed that they did that, you’ve been lucky until now. Maybe you are not asking to hear about it, but I will tell you about it seemingly breaking the rule itself because that’s the sort of “caution to the wind” host I am.
“Don’t ask, don’t tell” was the policy that prohibited military personnel from discriminating against or harassing closeted members of the LGBTQ community who served in the military. When the Clinton administration introduced this, if you mistakenly think it is a policy from three thousand years ago, you could not serve in the US military if you were openly gay, lesbian or bi-sexual. “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” sent a clear message to all that you can be prepared to die for your country, but your country doesn’t need to know who you are. Thank you very much.
Whether we like it or not, as business leaders, we live in a world where our differences are highlighted daily. Where politically and socially, there seems to be an “us and them” narrative driving behaviours, and in a world that is supposed to bring us closer together, there seem to be forces that drive us apart. There is undeniable tribalism that is coming out. Every day we are asked to work out which side we are on…
I wish I could tell you that in this podcast, I will discuss what it means to be a leader in today’s world, what connects us regardless of our colour, gender, sexual orientation, belief, physical and neurological differences. I wish I could lighten the mood and say we are all the same. I hope I could make you laugh with a joke. But I am afraid I can’t. This blog is about low self-esteem, and since I am the only one in the history of the world who has ever suffered from it, this blog will be all about me… Ah. I’ve disproved my own set-up…
Here is my podcast, and this is about all of us.
When Barack Hussein Obama, the 44th President of the United States, was in office, he wore the same thing every single day. Ok, not exactly the same thing like he was a character in The Simpsons, but pretty much the same thing every single day. He wore white shirt with a blue or grey suit and he didn’t entertain the idea of switching up this pattern during his 8 years as leader of the free world. Why?
His reasoning was simple. He had so many decisions to make with massive, real world consequences that he didn’t need to lose time or valuable headspace thinking about whether pairing a pastel pink shirt and brown brogues would make him more or less popular with the electorate. He had other things to think about. And so do you. You might not be the U.S President, but if you’re listening to this show, chances are you are a person in business, perhaps even a CEO looking to gain a little balance in a world that is constantly asking you “what’s next”. If that’s you and you’re looking for a little advice and support, you’ve come to the right place.
When I was young, I didn’t have dreams to become the President of the United States. Not only because I had a reasonable understanding of the geography of the situation making it an unlikely dream in the first place, but also because I loved ice hockey and wasn’t willing to sacrifice my time on the ice in the hopes of one day sitting in The Oval Office. Also The West Wing hadn’t come out yet so if I’m honest, I didn’t give it as much thought as this intro suggests…
When I was younger, I didn’t spend too much time thinking about what to wear. What I spent a lot of time thinking about was what I was going to eat. I was a chubby child and children, as we all know since we all were one once, can be cruel. I knew I was a chubby child and I was reminded of it by my peers.
This resulted in food and cravings becoming an obsession well before I knew how to spell the word obsession. Now, I am pleased and relieved to say food cravings do not control my life anymore. I have found simplicity and balance in a world begging me not to. And in this episode, I’m going to explain how.
Welcome to The Andrew Sillitoe Show. We’ve got a tasty episode for you today.
Let’s get stuck in.
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Unpacking what it means to be Unbreakable.
If you’re anything like me, when you were at school and you saw your ruler was describing itself as “shatter proof” you immediately snapped it in half. This is because I had no time for lies and I had no regard to school property. Alright, I had some respect for school property, but I did break those rulers.
I think there is something to be said about an item or person claiming it is unbreakable and then wanting to prove it wrong. I’m not saying that the Titanic got what was coming to it, but I think there is a danger in saying “this ship is unsinkable” before setting sail across the ocean.
It’s sort of a more extreme version of having a bad day and then saying “well at least it’s not raining” just as a weather warning is being announced on the news…
As humans we are striving to make ourselves unbreakable. We are sold the idea that we need to build ourselves up to such a state of being that we can handle anything. We’re told we need to be ready for any and all eventualities. So we try and become shatterproof… and we shatter. In today’s episode we are going to be discussing what it means to be unbreakable and if we need to re-assess those ideas that we have. Are we striving to achieve the impossible to distract ourselves for the everyday or is there a way to truly become unbreakable?
Welcome to The Andrew Sillitoe Show.
The Andrew Sillitoe Show Title Music
When do you feel strong? I mean really strong. Strong enough that you are incapable of feeling emotional pain or discomfort. Strong enough that sticks and stones won’t break your bones, let alone those words that have never hurt you, if the playground chant is to be believed?
In this episode I am going to share with you when I feel at my strongest and the journey I’ve been on to get there.
When I was younger, I was competitive. There is something about the world of sport that asks this of you. You have to fight for your place in the team, you have to prove that you are worthy of the logo on the front of your shirt and number on the back. You have to train, to turn up everyday with a mental and physical energy that you need to succeed. I have carried that attitude into adulthood. And still apply today.
The knowledge that victories are hard won and loses that are devastating but not the end of the road, are the result of my sports based passions as a young man.
I have found the qualities I needed for team sports were matched when it comes to the mindset that I need to succeed in business. It is essential that you have a winning mentality, endurance, an acknowledgement of a team effort, a desire to improve. These qualities made me stronger. I knew, and know, the importance of practice. The strength that you build upon. The growing belief that you, and your team, can come across any challenge, face it head on, and win.
A victory is a powerful dopamine hit and adrenaline rush. Your body is flooded with reward hormones for overcoming nerves and hitting the puck into the back of the net. Your body rewards you for smashing that presentation and landing your company a huge new contract and when it comes to our father’s fathers before us, they were praised by their bodies for chasing away that saber tooth tiger and living to fight another day.
The rewards that come after a hard fought victory are almost unparalleled. Almost.
I am going to share with you when I feel at my strongest and I’m going to tell you, with complete honesty, that I feel the strongest I have ever felt today. Right now.
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When I told my Grandad and my Father I was going to be a professional ice hockey
player they said I wouldn’t be. Just like that. Not in the way that most parents would say
“No” to the idea of their child demanding they wanted to eat sweets for breakfast or
when they get older, knowing they had to be back home by 9pm but asking if it could be
11pm. It was not a reasonable “No.” It was a deflating, infuriating and confidence
cracking “No.”
I promised myself that when I became a parent, I wouldn’t be like that. Don’t get me
wrong, I don’t let my kids eat flying saucers instead of toast and curfews for my older
kids are not up for debate, but if my child believes they can do something, if they
express a wish to me or my wife that they’d like to try something new, to pursue a new
hobby, we would allow them to do so without judgement...
It is often said you either follow the same path as your parents or you do the opposite.
Children of Conservative voters register with the Green Party, the off-spring of
academics opt for a career in the arts or the family business is kept ticking over by the
next generation and the legacy continues.
My five year old has just started playing ice hockey. I couldn’t be prouder. Or more
excited. Or more desperate to show him that he can not only play ice hockey but he
could be the youngest ever winner of the Stanley Cup... I am not like my father. But
have I gone to the other end of the scale?
This is the Andrew Sillitoe Show.
I’m a business leader and a parent. I am proud of my achievements in both and am
knacked and energised by these roles, equally. Sometimes these positions and the
skills needed for success in them go hand in hand. The skills needed to be a good
leader; patience, determination, ambition, drive, ability to listen overlap with the skills
needed to be a good parent.
I try and listen to my children in a way that I was not listened to by my parents. It’s not a
criticism of them. My Dad was pressured by circumstance, the idea that he had to make
more money, the idea that he was the head of the family and the provider. If you’ve
listened to the podcast before you know that the relationship with my Dad has shaped
my life in many ways. But this episode isn’t about my Dad. This episode is about me
being a Dad and how my son’s new hobby has made me question more about
parenthood than I was expecting.
My son, at the time of this recording, is 5 years old. He is the oldest he has ever been,
because that is how time works, but he is also my youngest child and, because I am a
parent, I have the unique position of being able to see him at every single stage of his
life when I look at him. I am told that this doesn’t ever stop and friends of mine with
children who are forty still reach for their children’s hands while they cross the road,
almost unaware that they have been voting, paying taxes and existing as a human
without the need for parenting, for decades.
When my son expressed an interest in ice hockey, one of my true loves, I was
overjoyed. I had imagined buying his kit, cheering him on from the sidelines and
hugging him at the end of a match defeat with so much passion he felt like he had won.
I have also been reminded that living my life through my son is not an option. To quote a
famously troubled father in the form of King Lear “That way madness lies...” and I have
no intention of being that kind of father.
I am aiming to walk that tightrope between being supportive but not pushy and
encouraging but not encroaching. Let me tell you right away it is a thin line...
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How many X factor winners can you name? I’m going to give you 10 seconds to have a think. How many have you got?..
If you’re new to the podcast, you might have spent the 10 seconds frantically and confusedly looking through your phone or computer to see what podcast you accidentally clicked on. If you’ve joined us before you might be confused by the change in direction we’ve taken. Maybe you were expecting to tune in to a podcast that is discussing balanced living in a complex world. Perhaps you are seeking advice and support from a fellow business person who is looking to achieve results but striving to avoid burning out. Instead, you got asked to name X factor winners... And I bet you were rubbish at it.
Ok. Another question. What if I asked you to name artists whose careers have spanned more than 20 years. The musical greats if you will. Go one, I’ll give you another 10 seconds…
Who have you got? Dylan, Aretha Franklin, Springsteen, Bowie, Madonna?...And how many? Whatever your number is I am sure it is higher for my second question than my first...
We are not going to dwell on musicians in this episode because 1) we don’t have the rights to use any of their songs and are already possibly in dangerous territory and 2) they are not the entire subject of today's episode… In today’s episode we are going to be asking a big, complex question. Even bigger than “how many X factor contestants can you name?” I hear you ask? Yes. Much bigger than that.
My name is Andrew Sillitoe, this is The Andrew Sillitoe Show and today I am going to be asking “Are you really winning?”
“It’s not about the winning, it’s the taking part that counts.” This phrase is repeated by every compassionate supporter of someone who is, to use an unfair turn of phrase, a loser. Now listen, if you, like me, have ever been on the receiving end of such a comment you will know that it tends to be as soothing as a handful of salt to the wound you’ve just been left with. The only thing left to do is rub it in…
But even the winners, the people who come in first, the presidential candidate who wins the popular vote, still might not have won the whole race… So what does winning really look like, and how willing are we to challenge our preconceived ideas? In this episode I’m interested in exploring what winning really means to us, and what it really should mean.. Winning in business is often an unachievable, impossible goal, an ever moving target that is asking us to hit the bull’s eye, then as soon as you do, do it again and if you don’t, you have to put down your bow and arrow and to conclude this archer based metaphor, hang up your Robin Hood hat and vow never to return to Sherwood Forest again…
The feeling that “everyone else is doing better than me” is a common and understandable one. I felt it often. I still feel it. I feel it when I turn on the tv and see actors that look like they’ve been hand crafted by angels. I see it when I engage with social media, people celebrating their achievements that range from buying their dream home to mastering a full English breakfast. I feel it in business when I see the end of year figures that make my eyes water… If you, like me, feel like you are not really but I think it is time we talk about what winning looks like and more importantly what it feels like.
I’m going to tell you a quick story about a time that I felt I had lost.
winning, you are not alone... So listen in!
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My entire life has changed because of 16kg. This weight I am referring to is maybe not what you’d expect. It is not the weight I lost giving me the body I had always dreamed of (this aim is problematic for many reasons but we will get to that later). It is not the combined weight of my children at certain ages. 16kg is not the amount of steak you have to eat to have your photo taken and placed on the “mega meat challenge” at my local eatery. It is the weight of my kettlebell and that kettlebell has entirely changed my personal and business life. You can’t buy happiness. But you can buy a kettlebell and for me, it is sort of the same thing.
Welcome to the Andrew Sillitoe Show.
I’m an active person. Sometimes too active. I have pushed my body to its limits and asked it to do more than it is able. I have set myself unrealistic goals, given myself too little recovery time and done myself serious damage. Often when we think of being unhealthy we think of 3 of the 7 deadly sins; gluttony, sloth and greed.
This seems to feed into this idea that the worst thing we can do is sit down and consume, and that’s sometimes true. However, I think it is important to acknowledge that putting yourself through too much is equally as damaging. It is all harmful. I have managed to find a way to set myself regular, achievable goals and it has dramatically changed my life. I’d like to share with you the secret.
As business leaders we are naturally target driven. We feel in competition with everyone, sometimes even the people in our team. I have certainly stayed later than everyone else, got in earlier than everyone else and asked more of myself than I would of anyone in my team. I told myself it was because I was the leader, the example, the person in charge. However, over time, I have come to realise it was because I was trying to push myself too far. This realisation combined with my family history of working to an early grave felt as if I had been struck by lightning. The way I was behaving was not long term. I couldn’t keep it up and so I had to make changes to improve my life. This thing that improved my life was the kettlebell. And the kettlebell is not the small mechanism my wife rings when she wants a coffee, but the 16kg weight that has changed my life.
I started to use the kettlebell in 2012, but with very little strategy, until I met StrongFirst Master Instructor Pavel Macek. Pavel uses the kettlebell daily. He uses it to improve his flexibility, strength and stamina and said I could do the same. He looked me straight in the eye and said “This will change you”
First off, I didn’t believe him...I have grown up, as you have, surrounded by the messages from companies that tell you you need to buy, and keep buying things to make you happy so the thought that I could get everything I needed from one purchase and hard work didn’t ring true. How could I get everything I need from the kettlebell?..
The truth is businesses rely on you feeling that you “are not good enough” and have created multi-billion pound industries that produce pills, clothing, equipment, dietary supplements, shakes, retreats and gyms to keep you buying things that will not give you what you need. What I needed was a kettlebell and a lot of patience.
Once I bought a kettlebell and started using it, I did not look back. I did not need to spend time away from my family because I had to workout for an hour at the gym. During the lockdown I swung it everyday, I didn’t spend my time desperately trying to navigate work, homelife and exercise in an attempt to “have it all”. I discovered that you can “have it all” you just have to readjust what that looks like for you...
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Often I find that when I hear a voice telling me I can’t do something, it is my own. Worse still, I often find that I am the only one who can hear it...
I used to find wherever I went, I was accompanied by my demons. So much so in fact that I am surprised they didn’t insist on me purchasing them a plane seat when I was travelling. Maybe they were concerned for my finances? What they were not concerned about was my mental health.
When it came to my work, my demons filled me with doubts, fears and insecurities so regularly that I might as well have put them on the payroll. My demons were persistent. They worked round the clock, evenings and weekends with the enthusiasm that you could only dream of finding in a colleague. My demons were both incredibly loud and totally invisible, like an angry ghost. In this episode, we are going to be talking about facing our demons. So I hope you’re all listening. Welcome, you and all your demons, to The Andrew Sillitoe Show.
In 1933, Franklin D. Roosevelt addressed his nation as the 32nd President of the United States of American and said “There is nothing to fear but fear itself.”
What Franklin D. Roosevelt didn’t know at the time was he would soon have to lead his country into a World War and he would die in office. I wonder if he knew how his presidency would end he would have started it with those fateful words... “There is nothing to fear but fear itself”.
Fear is an essential part of the human experience. Doubts are useful. The voice that said “this seems scary, start running away.” was vital when the thing in question was a tiger. The little voice that says “I’m not sure you can do this” was helpful when the “this” was fighting with a mammoth. The little voices that make us question an outcome before we do something is the reason you are all able to listen to this podcast today. Those little voices have allowed the human race and each individual that makes up the human race, to survive…
Those voices can, however, stop us doing something we really can achieve. The warning signs that were essential when we were hunting and gathering and cave dwelling are less necessary when we are working and relaxing and power-point-presenting. We have been listening to our doubts and our demons to our detriment. Today we are going to start speaking back to them…In today’s episode of The Andrew Sillitoe Show we are talking about facing our demons.
Many of you listening will know why I do what I do. My journey to becoming the business man, coach, husband and father I am today, has been accompanied by my own demons. My father died far too young. He died too young because he was working too hard. Too much, too young. Both an incredible song and a terrible reality.
My father had his own demons and when he passed away I am certain some of my father’s demons started hanging out with me. There is no easy way to face them. There is certainly no easy way to deal with them, but as we have touched on before, nobody said it would be easy. Most things that are worth doing are difficult. The fears and doubts might be telling you to run away. I am telling you to stop and to face those demons that tell you, you can’t.
If you have listened to my previous episodes you will know that there are 4 foundations on which I believe you can build a successful business without sacrificing your health, well-being and personal relationships. The four foundations; do the work, no excuses, always ready and speak the truth are not without challenges and if you are anything like me they are not without a voice telling you your time is better spent elsewhere. My promise to you is I live and breathe these foundations. Upon them, I have built my life but in order to do so, I have had to face my demons.
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When something is working, we don’t often think about it. If a car starts smoothly as soon as you turn the key, we don’t think: “Thanks, car, good work today... And thanks to all the engineers and inventors who have pushed this vehicle’s design forward and thanks also to the workers who built the roads-”.
We do not. Because we would be late for where we are going to and soon be thanking our clients for not doing business with us so swiftly and our family for leaving us with such speed.
My point is When things are working, we don’t notice them. When things go wrong, we do. If the car doesn’t start, we are late and annoyed and probably swearing. If the lid of our takeaway coffee comes off as we rush to work, our fingers might get burned and we might swear again. My point is that because of this we carry around a lot of negative emotions with us and often far fewer positive ones. We notice when things go wrong and we remember them. They affect us. They change our mood for the worse.
In the same way that a child carries their favourite soft toy with them everywhere they go, we carry emotional baggage and daily stresses with such regularity we might not even notice we are doing it… Until we are told to let go. In today’s episode of The Andrew Sillitoe Show we are going to be talking about ice baths and epiphanies. Come on in and join us, the water’s lovely.
Titles for The Andrew Sillitoe Show.
I’m going to talk to you now about a living legend. Wim Hof. Not only does his name sound like he should be a heroic character in a Terry Prachett novel but he is basically as brave and otherworldly as that BUT he exists in real life. He is nicknamed the Iceman. Presumably, Iceman is the only name cooler than Wim Hof so he was rightly awarded it. If you can’t tell, I’m a fan. If you’re not a fan, it is probably because you don’t know who he is. That’s about to change…
Wim Hof runs half marathons, bare foot, on ice. Wim Hof set the world record for swimming 57.5 metres completely under ice. Wim Hof climbed 5,700 metres up Mount Everest wearing just shoes and shorts. Wim Hof has also changed my life. He didn’t get an award or medal for it at the time so I am going to give it at least some of the recognition he deserves by talking about it in today’s episode.
A couple of years ago I sat in a bath full of iced water whilst on a Wim Hof Method workshop. During the day, in the few minutes I sat surrounded by freezing cold iced water, I had an epiphany. Although this sentence might, rightly, make you question what sort of person would do that to himself voluntarily, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Like many good ideas it did not feel like a good idea at the time. It felt like one of the worst. Your body goes into shock. Your brain,that is sending messages to your body is screaming at you to “Stop doing what you are doing, immediately” like a panicked parent when you come into the room and see your child spreading jam on the sofa…
Your brain is there to protect you but, as we have mentioned before in previous episodes, with far fewer tigers roaming wild on our streets and the increase in supermarkets, things are slightly less “high stakes” in modern life but our brains have been slower to adapt in some ways.
When I was in the ice bath my brain went into panic mode. It assumed I was dying and in a way it felt like I was. It was reacting in the way it has evolved to do, to get me out of danger. The danger, though, as I have said, was not a tiger or a stampede of mammoths, it was an ice bath.
My breath quickened and got shallow. I began to tense up and became unable to focus. I was struggling. The man who was leading the exercise, Jakub, was trying to get me to focus, to listen to him. He was telling me to breath, he was telling me to concentrate but I couldn’t. Then Jakub said two words that I not only heard but was able to respond to. He said “Let go”.
These words were able to cut through the ice. Let go.
It was a true moment of clarity. Shockingly so. Like when you accidentally wake up late and open the curtains thinking it’s first thing but the sun is shining brightly because it is the middle of the day. Let go. Two words that have changed my life from that moment on. Because you only notice when things go wrong, I was carrying years of pressure, disappointments and fears without noticing. I had with me, without my knowledge and against my wishes, been carrying more emotional baggage than you can carry in both arms… So I started to let go.
The good thing about the ice bath is that when you’re out of it your brain immediately rewards you for not dying. It floods your body with endorphins that say “HOORAY, YOU MADE IT” and then “DON’T YOU EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN, I WAS WORRIED SICK.” In that same way that as a worried parent I have both celebrated and scolded my daughter for coming back from a party late, but in one piece…
I had started to let go. Not entirely, not of everything, but I started to let go. Like a sugar cube in a hot tea (which both works as the perfect visual for how “letting go” felt and the perfect drink to have after submerging yourself in freezing cold water) I was able to dissolve, to melt.
A friend of mine always starts her day by doing what she calls “swallowing the frog”. No, she does not seek her morning meal from reptilian sources, what she means is she starts her working day with doing the worst job on the to do list. She gets rid of the thing that is hanging over her. She swallows the frog and gets on with her day.
Since the ice bath all those years ago, I have started having a cold shower every single morning. I suffer now so I don’t have to suffer later. I shock my body and my brain so I am alert and present. It is almost impossible to think of anything else when your body is in cold water. You brain is focused. Your mind is clear. This is cold. This is unpleasant. But it will not last forever and it will not kill me.
I have a two minute cold shower everyday and my life has dramatically improved because of it. This is not a fad where you are convinced to financially invest in the latest “must have”. It does not take up more than a couple of minutes of your day. You have 1438 minutes left in the day to spend them however you please, but two minutes in a cold shower can change your life.
I went back recently to submerge my body in iced water and something amazing happened. In just a few years, in the same bath, with the same coach, Jakob, I submerged my body in iced water. The difference? My breathing remained the same. There was no panic, there was no sharp, shallow breathing. I had, it seemed, through daily practice, managed to make my body behave the way I wanted to. I didn’t see the growth until I was back in the ice bath, but I had moved on from the scared person I was, surrounded by ice and trauma. I had let go.
When I take the cold shower, I am suffering. When I am out of it, that suffering immediately stops. Doing it everyday grounds me. It is one of the 10 daily habits that I perform every single day. And I encourage you to do it too.
You know that phrase “come on in, the water’s lovely”? Well this water is not. It is cold and will shock you. But do it anyway. Spend two minutes out of the 1440 you get today, to change your life. Breathe and Let go.
Thanks for joining us. This has been another episode of the Andrew SIllitoe Show.
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Thou shalt not covet. This is one of many instructions handed down hundreds and hundreds of years ago to give the human race clear guidance. However, like the terrible cook that I am (except for steak and eggs), I know that there is plenty of room for error in between the reading of the recipe and dinner time, and the same can be said for these commandments. We could be given all the instructions in the world, and it still might not lead us to perfect results.
But going back to the historical order, "thou shalt not covet…" I suppose my question is... why not? Why can't I look across the road and see a faster, more expensive car and use that as my motivation to work harder? Why shouldn't I watch the Olympics and want to look like the swimmers when I arise from a holiday swimming pool and therefore kickstart a fierce workout regime? Is there really a suggestion that wanting some of what someone else has and using that as a springboard into action to make that wish a reality is bad?
Why shouldn't we hear that voice saying, "what you have achieved so far is not enough?" why shouldn't we be riddled with doubt and the feeling that we are not good enough and we are never going to be good enough? Why shouldn't we push ourselves past our edge and into a free fall of depression and anxiety and oh... I get it.
This is the Andrew Sillitoe Show, and today we are talking about life in the fast lane.
If you run your own business, chances are you are motivated. Chances are you ask yourself questions, sometimes daily, like "how can this be done quicker?", "How can this be better?", "How can I improve?"
All of these questions are important and should be asked. But sometimes they push us to an unhealthy place; sometimes they mean we end up in the fast lane against our will or even our knowledge.
I mentioned the Olympics earlier. If you've listened to the podcast before, you'll know that I have a background in the sport. I am a hockey player, and so I have had a winning mindset for a long time. Playing sport and, in particular, team sports gives you great lessons that you can bring off the pitch and into your everyday life.
Skills such as teamwork, perseverance and hard work are vital in business. A setback in the first half doesn't mean the game is lost before the halftime whistle blows. It means you can fight back, push yourself and win. These are all skills that I have taken off the hockey pitch and into my business. Sometimes, though, I have found myself travelling at full pelt in a direction I am not sure I consented to.
The fast lane often takes more out of you than it can give back. It could mean you are spending vast amounts of energy and time to simply not "fall behind". When we are so focused on targets and data, we can forget the real reason we are here. I'm going to ask you a question now… Why did you start on the career path you are on? You can have a few minutes to think about it if you like. It's not an easy question to be asked, and I know that from experience.
I have pushed myself too far in the past. I have put profit over people and sales figures over my family. I've asked you the question, "why did you start in the career path that you're on" so I can check your answer isn't "because I wanted to own the fastest car on my street." I doubt it is. If it was, you might be feeling extremely vulnerable right now, and I am sorry for that. Perhaps you are listening to this podcast in your fast car, and you are so shocked by my almost psychic comment that you might cause a minor traffic accident. If that is you, please pull over now because we have more home truths coming your way and little to no time to wait for roadside assistance.
If you are pursuing your goals because of an inner drive to succeed, that's great. If you are pushing yourself past your limits to get the next "thing" that you want, I'd recommend you readjust your motivations. I am not judging you. Like I say, I was in that "fast lane" trap myself. Do you know how sometimes you only realise how thirsty you are when you start drinking a glass of water? Work can be like that. You can be moving along really well and at such a speed that you are not listening to your body. It is only when you stop running that you can start to catch your breath.
As you can tell, when I was putting together this episode, I had just been swinging the kettlebell, and it made me thirsty.
However, it remains true that if you are living your life in the fast lane, you might be missing a lot of important stuff as you hurtle towards your ever-moving goalpost.
Yes, striving for excellence is essential, but when I think about why I started my business, it was, essentially, to make a better life for my family and to not turn into my Dad. Since I spent so much time away from my family to pursue this dream and whilst I was at it, I was heading towards the same early grave my father entered, it seemed I was achieving the complete opposite of what I had set out to do. I felt like a defender smashing the puck into my net. I knew what I wanted to do, but under pressure ended up doing the reverse..
The other thing about coveting what you don't have is that you don't know what it has cost the person who has it.
Sure after some jealous, frantic googling, you can work out based on the car reg, make and model, roughly what your neighbour has paid for their wheels, but you don't know how much it has taken. How many missed dinners, forgotten birthdays or late nights in the office. And frankly, it doesn't matter. What does matter is knowing that you are unwilling to make any sacrifices that will worsen things in the long run?
"Did you renew your life insurance?" My wife asked me this question over coffee this morning.
"Why? I'm not going anywhere."
It's a morbid thought, but it was a reality check.
LIFE IS A ONE WAY TICKET.
I must prepare for the worse. How would my family survive without me?
Then came an even worse thought.
I am not indispensable.
My wife is more than capable of making money and raising the family.
Remember: You are not indispensable.
Next time you question taking a holiday, or enjoying an afternoon off or doing the school run, remember the business will carry on.
Your business and team will survive.
Life will carry on, so make the most of the time you have and don't stress.
Life in the fast lane might feel unavoidable, but if you put the breaks on, you might start to notice that there is more that you're passing by than you are experiencing.
The graveyards are full of indispensable leaders.
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How many lies have you told today? Depending on what time of the day you’re joining us the number could be extremely high. I don’t want to rustle too many feathers so early into the episode either so rest assured they don’t have to be big lies. I’m not out and out calling you a liar…But chances are unless you’re living an exhausting and time consuming double life or have been a successful secret agent, the lies won’t be big ones but you will have told some. But how many?.. Roughly?.. I would be surprised if your answer is zero. In fact, if your answer is zero, I think I will call you a liar…
A recent study conducted by the University of Massachusetts found that in a 10 minute conversation 60% of people told on average 2-3 lies. So depending on how long you’ve been awake today, chances are you are racking up mis-truths into at least double figures… But don’t feel bad. It’s not just you doing it. People are lied to between 10-200 hundred times a day. It seems we’re all at it.
So is honesty really the best policy? Or are we being lied to about that, as well?
This is The Andrew Sillitoe Show where we talk about balancing living in a complex world. Thanks so much for tuning in. I’m really glad you could join us. Honestly.
Today on my Show we are going to be talking about speaking the truth. As you heard from my introduction, truth telling may not be as commonplace as we think it is. However this idea does prove that telling the truth can be difficult. If it was easy, surely more of us would do it more often.
There is science to the lies we tell. For example studies show that about 25% of lies are told for the benefit of others, to protect them, support them and assure them that no one would have noticed how drunk they were at the staff party and they really have nothing to worry about on Monday morning…
This means, however, that the rest of the lies, the 75% of the lies we tell, are to benefit ourselves. The thing is though, they might not be benefiting us as much as we think.
If I ask you to think of what you want, what would your answer be? Unless this question is at the forefront of you mind daily, it might be hard to answer, but I am going to encourage you to have a think…What do you want?…
I want to be really clear that I want you to search for an honest answer. Today we are going to start getting to the truth. This question was probably easier to answer when we were younger.
I think the reason we as adults like asking children “what do you want to be when you grow up” is because the answers are often hilarious. If you asked me what I wanted to be when I was 6 I would have said a HOCKEY PLAYER*. I said it with confidence, honesty and determination. If you’d have asked my friend Katie when she was 6 years old she would have told you she wanted to be a Dinosaur. When I asked my son, he said hockey player. My daughter wanted to be a police.
All of these dreams were clear, honest answers to the question “What do you want to be?”
As we get older and have more regular visits to “the real world” not only, often, does our passion go, but also our honesty. I am going to invite you to have a quick think about what you want and I want you to answer honestly. Only when we know what we are seeking will we know when we find it. Being honest about what you want is the first step towards achieving it. So be honest. What do you want?
Once you’ve worked out what you want, the next challenge is of course, how do we make it happen? This question is another where lying to yourself and others will not serve you no matter how much you think it will.
Let me give you an example. I, as many of you know by now, play hockey. I love playing hockey and I am motivated to keep playing and improving as much as possible. I want to be the best player and team mate I can possibly be. If I want to achieve this, I need to be realistic about how to do that. It means taking into consideration training, it means eliminating alcohol intake, making sure my diet is providing me with the fuel I need to succeed. The least I owe myself, and the least you owe yourselves is honesty about what it takes to get to where you want to go.
There is a famous image, I’m not sure if you’ve seen it or not, of a ballet dancer on pointe, where they are up on their tip toe in a ballet shoe. The image next to it is her foot without the ballet shoe on it. Her toes are bandaged, plastered, cut and bruised. Now, let me be very clear, the takeaway from this isn’t nor should it be “if you’re not bleeding by the end of the day, you’re not working.” There is little to no benefit from ending your work day with less blood in your body than you started with. But I think it is a helpful reminder that success takes hard work, sacrifice, compromise, enthusiasm, dedication and honesty. The ballet dancer makes it look deceptively easy but they know how much it took to get there… They are honest about what it takes. And we should be too.
Success in business and in your personal life takes honesty. From listening to your body and really hearing what it has to say, whether that is “we need to rest” or “we could do with some exercise.” all the way to the terrifying thought that someone in your business may be able to do a job just as well as you. A thought that, I confess, I struggle with sometimes.
If you run your own business, like I do, you know it is not just a job. It is a passion, a life choice, a tangible, real part of your existence. It is often one of the first questions we are asked when we meet someone. Remember those events we used to be allowed to reluctantly go to when we are trapped in the dreaded small talk of-
“…sooooo….what do you do.”
Although this pandemic has been going on so long now, I almost miss awkward small talk… My point is, the fact that running a business takes so much energy and passion means, by default, that many of us fall into the “control freak” category of humans. And there are plenty of us there.
We are unable to contemplate that someone else could do the job as well as us, and maybe that it true, but if we are being honest, as we are trying to be from now on, remember, it shouldn’t stop us delegating.
Running a business shouldn’t stop us asking others for help when we need it. Running a business should actually force us to be better at it. It shouldn’t stop us from listening to all ideas before making a decision. Honesty comes in all shapes and sizes and when it comes to speaking your truth, it has to come with the courage to share your truth with others and allow them to do the same. Elton John wrote “sorry seems to be the hardest word” but being more of a Beatles fan, I tend to relate more to the song “Help”. There is a strength in letting go and asking for help. And there’s a truth to it. And that’s what today is all about.
You are not under oath, unless you currently are, and in that case, why and how are you listening to this podcast? But most of you are not under oath. So please don’t think that, following this episode, if you want to be a successful leader you can never tell a lie again. But try and focus a little more on speaking your truth.
The great Mark Twain once said “if you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” so start speaking the truth to yourself. Honestly. I’ve been Andrew Sillitoe and this has been Desert Island Discs… Ahhh. I forgot my own advice.
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I can make your life longer and more enjoyable. That’s a bold claim but I mean it and I am going to show you how.
Focused professionals take their business seriously, sometimes too seriously and become overwhelmed, spread themselves too thinly and unknowingly drop their quality.
This has certainly been my experience as an athlete and as a business leader. I often wonder how much better I could have been if I had a little more fun when competing. I would have expressed myself differently. Take time to laugh at yourself, be silly and have some fun at your own expense. When we learn to lighten up and don’t spread ourselves too thinly our quality and performance improve. Play to your strengths and enjoy the moment. Otherwise, life will pass you by and you’ll wonder where the time went. How do you make time for fun?
It’s often said that when someone is lying on their deathbed they rarely mention, in those last moments, that they wished they’d worked more. Maybe they wished to have seen more, travelled more, loved more but rarely if ever, worked more.
Humans are extremely capable of adapting and evolving. We learn to listen to our bodies and respond accordingly in many ways. Fire burns, so we keep a safe distance. If you’re feeling thirsty, drink some more water. However, when it comes to our work, we stop listening to our bodies. We push through with things that make us uncomfortable, we feel we have to stay longer at our desks, work weekends, check our emails before bed and generally go against what our bodies are telling us. Your work is better when you are happy, but this fact, we ignore. It is as if getting as many sadness points as possible will make us somehow seem braver and more hardcore to our peers.
When I think back to school and the learning I embarked on, it is not often the lessons in the classroom that stick with me but the ones I learnt on the playground.
That break time when I saw the new kid sitting eating their sandwiches on their own and some and my mates went over and asked them what their name was and if they wanted to play with us. We didn’t want to be friends with them, we were just being nosey and needed a goalkeeper.
I think about the kid who isn’t at the top of the class when it comes to maths and science but can beat the school 100m record by 3 seconds and the pride they took in that.
I remember itching for the lunchtime bell to ring because we knew after sitting at our desks for what felt like days we would soon be able to laugh and run but most of all, play.
Those games we used to play at break time were so important but as we got older those games, that playfulness we’d see only on the occasional or non-existent “away days”. The time we spent away from the desk when we were young was as important for confidence, development and happiness as any correct answer in English. So what changed?
We grew up. Me, somewhat reluctantly, due to a combination of reading Peter Pan regularly and the general pressures associated with adulthood which I saw reflected in the grown ups around me.
When I was younger I was very competitive. I bet I was more competitive than you. See?
I became an athlete and a business leader so it is clear I never lost that competitive edge that began when I was little. My personal goalposts moved from coming first on sports day to winning gold medals as a coach at global sporting events but as the prizes got bigger, the rewards seemed smaller and more than that, they cost me dearly.
Success is not the prize at the end. Often people start a job because they are passionate about the day today.
Think about how many children want to be an astronaut or a footballer or an in my son's case a dinosaur when they grow up. It is not because they want to be acknowledged by NASA or win a playoff final after a long season of injuries or live near a volcano. It is because those things are cool and exciting. It should be the work that brings you joy, not the end goal.
It’s not holding the statue at the Oscars that means the most or else everyone would stop after they’ve won one. Actors continue being actors after they receive the highest honour they can possibly get because they love their craft, so they carry on. Thinking about it, the only person who should have stopped after they won an Oscar is Nicholas Cage…
When I think of success, it’s hard to ignore the incredible achievements of Bill Gates.
Bill Gates apparently said, “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”
There are two things I want to say about that.
Firstly, if it’s true, it clearly shows that Bill Gates has a sense of humour and I doubt that he has got as far as he has without one which is basically the whole point of me talking to you today.
Secondly, I think this quote made me smile so much when I read it because of the truth in it. It’s not about staying at your desk longer than anyone else. It’s not about how family engagements you missed to show your dedication. It’s not about working harder. It’s about working smarter.
There was a reason we had so many playtimes at school when we were younger. Yes it’s because teachers were sick to the death of children after just minutes with them, but also because setting time aside for play, for laughter, for fun is all part of success. We need to get back to the playing.
I’m going to tell you a story about a friend of mine who is an actor. She was doing a show and was really nervous. The show was about her being an actor and following her dreams to become one. It was a comedy and she knew she could make people laugh but had a couple of slip-ups during the show at the start. Then she made a mistake. She said completely the wrong line and everybody knew it. She stopped, acknowledged it, made a joke about how she can’t even say her own words correctly, no wonder she couldn’t get an agent and it got the biggest laugh of the night.
We like it when comedians mess up jokes and own it. We like it when a waiter drops a tray of food and bows when the restaurant claps because they haven’t taken themselves too seriously. Unless it is our tray of food and we are hungry, then it sucks.
We like to laugh. And it is good for us.
A 2011 study done by Dr Ursula Beermann, Senior Lecturer at the Institute of Psychology at the University of Innsbruck looked at how different people reacted to themselves when they saw their reflection in a funhouse mirror. Those who laughed at themselves the most had the fewest negative emotions and were more prepared to acknowledge they were “not the centre of the universe.”
That’s why I have installed a funhouse mirror in my office.
That’s not true, but I do try and laugh at myself more. I try to not take myself as seriously and have reluctantly discovered I am not the centre of the universe nor do I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. This allows me to stand a little taller and smile a little more as I do so.
A 2009 study conducted in Maryland found that people who laughed more were less likely to suffer from heart disease. Not only that, research has found it improves short term memory and increases your pain threshold. This means, presumably if you fall over and laugh about it, you are far less likely to hurt yourself when you do it. I am not, and I can not stress this enough, telling you to run at walls to see how funny it can be, but next time you trip and you think nobody’s seen you, know that almost certainly somebody did, and they found it funny, so you might as well too.
Next time it’s raining and a car drives past through a puddle and splashes you, swear at them, by all means, but then, when they are out of sight, laugh about it, but make sure they’ve gone. You don’t want to give that horrible driver the satisfaction…And get out of those wet clothes so you don’t catch a chill. It is really, really important to laugh at yourself but it is much, much harder to laugh when you have pneumonia.
Put simply, laughing at yourself makes you live longer and makes you better to be around.
Your career is a marathon, not a sprint unless you are a sprinter and then your career is exactly that. Of course targets, goals, awards and medals are important, but there should be other measures by which we judge ourselves and each other.
If you get to the end of the day and you feel like you’ve not laughed yet, you’ve been too careful. Invest in a funhouse mirror. Dance like nobody's watching or if this all seems too much like hard work, you can fake it until you make it.
Research has shown that the body gets as many benefits from fake laughing as it does from a genuine one. Sitting for three minutes with a pencil in between your teeth, forcing you to smile has an immediate and positive impact on your mind and body. Also, you might be less likely to be bothered at work because people don’t want to talk to the strange person at the desk who is chomping down on their HB pencil.
These are jokes. I hope they have made you laugh. And if they haven’t, laugh anyway. It will make me feel better. And I promise it will make you feel better too.
I can make your life longer and more enjoyable, all you have to do is lighten up.
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Welcome to season 4!
In my podcast, I share simple principles that enable you to lead your business, whilst maintaining a healthy body, relationships and mindset. A balanced life is about being proactive with your body, relationships and mindset so you can thrive. Applying the basic fundamental principles opens the door to optimal health no matter where your business is at, your current level of fitness, or your relationship status.
Check out the 10 Daily Habits, as well as my daily blog including insights, tips and messages from mastermind members who have applied The 4 Keys Method to live a happier, healthier and more productive life.
I hope you’ll take the challenge to start applying the 10 daily habits —and browsing the site for personal interests and issues to bring your life into balance. Share a line on the comment boards, join my Community Facebook group, and sign up for the newsletter to receive the latest business, health, relationships and mindset tips.
I have spent thousands of hours researching how to balance a career with everyday life in order to provide you with actionable tips.
While my approach to business, health, and mindset might not always align with conventional business thinking, the techniques you find here are proven from the 1000’s of members who have experienced a personal transformation.
This podcast isn’t intended as business advice, but I hope it will be an informative and inspiring source as you grow your business and live a healthy, fulfilling life.
Welcome—and get ready to level up your life.
Cheers,
Andrew
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It’s a badge of honour for many business leaders to demonstrate their ability to burn the candle at both ends.
They are considered legends and it becomes a personal brand.
But what are the consequences?
“Did you hear about Dave? He died of a sudden heart attack”
“Well, he lived life to the full right?”
“Yeah, but he was only 48!”
I’ve seen this too many times over the years, and not just heart attacks, but also depression and a downward spiral of mental health by living life in extreme.
Know your limitations and how much you can afford to give. Learn how to balance your energy across your business, body, relationships and mindset.
Waking up every morning feeling energised, happy and ready to go at it, is the biggest reward in life.
Proving you can work hard and play hard as a badge of honour will catch up with you in the end.
Choose a happy, healthy and productive life.
Want to take a tactical break from alcohol and thrive every day? Join The 4 Keys Mastermind for 90 Days.
How to avoid overwhelm and get more done
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Whether it’s work patterns or some other type of behaviour, we unknowingly act out the same patterns our parents did.
We say to ourselves that we will be different and we make a commitment to doing the opposite, yet unconsciously we mimic the same old patterns.
It is easy to fall into the trap of denial for many years until we realise the patterns we play out are not serving us and are holding us back.
We must question the patterns we have inherited from the environment we grew up in – even if they were well-intentioned.
Consider challenging whether you are following in the same footsteps. Reconnect with your own vision and purpose and ask yourself if these patterns are working for you.
It is liberating to break free of old patterns and become the person you are supposed to be.
If you don’t question what is appropriate and aligned with your goals you may continue the same destructive behaviour.
Ready to embrace change?
Automation is the goal. It free’s up our time. But what about when we, as humans, become automated?
Automatically responding to the needs of others as if we are their robots.
Instead of asking, “are robots becoming more human?” we need to ask “are humans becoming more robotic?
Don’t put yourself on the assembly line, you are not a robot. Focus on doing things that serve you and your loved ones and don’t get lost in someone else’s agenda.
When we are caring for ourselves and not slaves to our businesses, we become more mindful and empathetic. It’s what makes us human. Furthermore, it creates opportunities that may have passed us by.
When we allow others to have power over us we lose a part of ourselves we may never get back.
Stay human.
How to avoid overwhelm and get more done
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Are you striving to do perfect work or have a perfect life?
Have we been lead to believe that you can only have one or the other?
You’re either a dedicated ‘work hard person’ or a ‘live life to the full and in balance person’. And if you are the latter you are considered a lazy dreamer who wants to avoid a hard days work.
Why does it have to be one or the other?
It has a lot to do with the industrial revolution. The invention of the 9-5 worked. You would join a company, worked hard for 30-40 years and then enjoy retirement.
We have lost faith in this system because it is no longer working. It has been this way for a while, but Covid 19 confirmed it for us.
Furthermore, there is no historical evidence of such a system where you had to chose one or the other.
Create a life that includes both, focusing on your physical and mental health, and your relationships.
Life is hard – but you can choose both and enjoy a life of balance.
Of course, you can go all-in on your business and put everything else on hold, but what price will you pay in the end?
Too much speed at work is a result of addiction and the desire for instant gratification. Working at pace masks our ignorance of what is actually taking place.
We worry that if we slow down our thinking, something may manifest itself, which could slow down progress.
Busy leaders prefer not to allow this to happen – the more unaware we are the quicker the decision can be made.
We make change happen for the sake of change without any real thought.
We may believe this is a good sign of authority!
But we know that this eventually catches up with us and we get found out, not just at work, but in the home too!
Slow down and simplify the workplace you are in. Reflect on your traits, and how you are complicating the work environment.
This will help you see the bigger picture and bring people on the journey with you.
If you keep speeding ahead, people get left behind and you’ll end up by yourself.
Hyper-achievers are addicted to success. They are focused on the next promotion, winning a big deal or being the business leader of the year.
I wanted to know how I could grow my business, win more games, lift heavier, sprint faster.
And who was monitoring me, judging me, pushing me?
For the most part, it was my inner voice. The voice that was scared of failure and didn’t appreciate the opportunity that failure would bring.
Take time to discover the small wins and gaps, and not just in your business, but also in your health, relationships and mindset.
Learn to step back and evaluate the details, then you will notice how the small wins and losses move you forward.
Going big all the time is a distraction from reality and will stop you from reaching your full potential.
What is your process for failing fast and learning quick?
Working at pace and keeping ourselves busy enables us to ignore feelings and the feelings of others.
Stand up straight, have a stiff upper lip and you’ll get through it, is the mantra.
That may work short-term – but who will you become on the other side?
I have spent most of my life emotionally unavailable. Any sign of emotion and I could push a button and desensitise myself from emotional experiences.
I believed it was my superpower.
But, in reality, emotions were my Kryptonite and holding them inside was making me weak.
Give in to your feelings, don’t deny them, let yourself feel them, it’s the only way to let go.
When we open up and allow ourselves to be vulnerable we learn to show real mental strength.
Keeping emotions trapped inside will show up eventually putting your body at dis-ease.
I didn’t cry at my fathers funeral because I wanted to be strong for my dad and my sisters, that’s what men do right?
Focused professionals take their business seriously, sometimes too seriously and become overwhelmed, spread themselves too thinly and unknowingly drop their quality.
This has certainly been my experience and an athlete and as a business leader. I often wonder how much better I could have been if I had a little more fun when competing. I would have expressed myself differently.
Take time to laugh at yourself, billy silly and have some fun at your own expense.
When we learn to lighten up and don’t spread ourselves too thinly our quality and performance improve. Play to your strengths and enjoy the moment.
Otherwise, life will pass you by and you’ll wonder where the time went.
How do you make time for fun?
When all we have wanted is not enough, we are in big trouble. It drives us to take on too much and puts us into a state of panic.
The panic is not conscious – we may enjoy striving for more, but there is an insidious form of stress at the unconscious, which will lead to overwhelm and burnout.
Don’t get me wrong, I like nice things, nice clothes, driving a nice car, living in a nice home. But I have learnt that it is people in my life that matters and how I show up for them that will be my legacy.
I want more out of me for them – and that is what I strive for daily.
Get clear about who you are and how you want others to see you.
Make fulfilling others lives the goal and you will thrive.
Materialism is seductive and those things may not be what you want to be remembered for.
Be careful what you wish for, it may come true…
Our parents in most cases are our first models of behaviour. For men, it is usually their fathers.
Everyone I know who has a workaholic lifestyle or some level of self-sabotage can direct it back to their parents.
Remember your parents work ethic and their approach to work. Consider how this has impacted how you approach your work. What patterns are you repeating? Are they positive or negative?
When you learn to remove unwanted patterns you strip back the layers to find your authentic self.
Otherwise, you may find yourself on autopilot repeating the same pattern that doesn’t serve you very well
Do you have an old pattern that is holding you and your business back?
How to avoid overwhelm and get more done
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Many hyper-achievers are perfectionists, not only do they hold themselves accountable to incredibly high standards but there is also an expectation that is passed onto others.
This will create pressure and toxic team culture.
I have learnt that the concept of perfectionism is a myth, and had to learn to keep this in mind as I lead my team and manage my expectations as I work through the day.
Be a facilitator rather than a supervisor. Be tolerant of mistakes and when people fall short.
When we are flexible with ourselves and others we achieve maximum performance.
To be anything else being a perfect workaholic.
Setting impossible goals will leave us feeling frustrated, disappointed and unworthy.
Even though the memes tell us to reach for the moon and be amongst the stars (or whatever the quote is), we are still left feeling like we failed when we don’t achieve the targets.
I am all for pushing the limits and being a little deluded about our potential, but there is a difference between a big vision, which we may never reach versus setting targets that stretch us, and with the right tactics and roadmap will become a reality.
Create a vision for yourself that is scary, big and ongoing, and also set 90-day targets with 60 and 30-day benchmarks. These targets should stretch you but won’t result in a complete failure.
Achieving 90-day targets that are outside your comfort zone is hugely rewarding.
Consistently pushing yourself to achieve too much or give too much will eventually result in overwhelm and burnout.
Agree?
Many business leaders are sprinting from one thing to the next, searching for something that isn’t there. They jump from one thing to another desperately seeking answers.
I wasted a lot of time trying to enhance my self-image and brand. I would blindly sprint around corners hoping I would find what I was looking for. But it was never there.
I didn’t have a strategy or understand what I needed to grow my business. It was like I was sprinting a marathon every day, which led me to overwhelm and near burnout.
Set your pace this week without leaving yourself breathless, emotional or fearful.
Tap into a mindful state and become more aware of what is driving your actions.
Otherwise, you’ll be running on the addictive fuel of compulsion and miss the opportunities that are right in front of you.
How do you stay mindful of the chaos?
Many business owners start their own businesses because they are sick of working for people who don’t care about humanity, families and who take advantage of their power.
These companies take advantage of consciousness workaholics – they are a breeding ground for addicts who get lost in serving power and gaining power thus neglecting their life outside the office as if it is nothing more than a distraction from the goal.
It’s a trap.
Unfortunately, many business owners create the same trap for themselves in their own businesses.
It is easily done at an unconscious level.
Ensure you incorporate your personal life into your work, see yourself in a holistic way by having a clear purpose in your health, relationships and mindset, as well as your business.
Make your workplace human – the rewards are much greater.
Don’t create a business that becomes a hotbed for institutionalised workaholics and burned out hyper-achievers. There will be a price to pay.
How do you step back and consciously acknowledge life outside of your work?
How to avoid overwhelm and get more done
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Business leaders who do too much are self-sabotaging.
We abuse ourselves with our workaholic mentality, which is particularly destructive to those we care about and love.
However, when scaling and growing a business we have to make a sacrifice somewhere otherwise we’ll never build the business we want.
We must identify the difference between conscious and unconscious sacrifice. It is very easy to make unconscious sacrifices – such as neglecting our partners, truly listening to our children, missing important events.
Conscious sacrifice is different. You step back and make changes that put you into pain rather than others but bring long term pleasure so you can lead and grow your business.
This may include:
- Stop staying up late watching TV
- Stop eating unhealthy food
- Stop pressing the snooze button
- Take a cold shower
- Meditate for 10 minutes
- Move your body and sweat every day
- Take a tactical break from alcohol
We have a proven in The 4 Keys mastermind how much more productive, happier and confident we become when we make positive conscious sacrifices.
That’s why I am running a FREE workshop next week. As a subscriber to my blog, you get to hear about it first!
Go to www.4keysworkshop.com and find out how we are going to be working on our vision, 90-day reset and legacy.
Ready to go all-in?
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Many high-achievers define themselves and others by what they do and how good they are at doing it.
I noticed this, especially in sports. High-achievers naturally gravitate towards and make friends with other high-achievers. Of course, it is important to surround ourselves with people who raise our game.
But what happens when the game ends? When the career is over?
What then?
I see this in many athletes – as their identity is what they do – not who they are. Then they feel lost when their career ends.
I have always wanted to play at the top of my game in sports and business, but I have had to go deeper to truly understand who I am.
Try not to define yourself to others by your work. Instead focus on a deeper, more meaningful type of disclosure.
This is where real meaningful relationships exist.
You are not your work, you are much more.
Nick Bradley is a world-renowned business growth expert, who works with entrepreneurs, business leaders, and investors, building high-value companies. Over the last decade, he has built, bought and sold 24 businesses with a combined valuation of $5.2 billion dollars. He also works with Private Equity and Venture Capital firms across the UK and the US leading business turnarounds, mergers, acquisitions, and scale-ups. He is also the co-founder of The Fielding Group, a growth consultancy that helps companies improve business performance – in order for the founders and shareholders to achieve freedom, accumulate wealth, and accelerate impact. In addition to this, Nick owns 7 other businesses in a variety of industries including education, media, and professional services, and is always looking to build his portfolio via acquisitions and joint ventures. Originally from Australia, Nick is a dedicated family man who has a strong background in physical fitness, having completed 67 marathons and 24 ultramarathons worldwide. He is also a qualified personal trainer and performance coach. He is absolutely committed to personal growth, becoming the best version of himself, and inspiring others to achieve the same. His mission is to help create business empires with impact - bringing entrepreneurial skillset and mindset to people all over the world as a driving force of progression and prosperity.
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Ambitious hyper-achievers have high expectations, not only of themselves but also of others.
We think others should be aligned with our values and work ethic – we believe everyone wants the same level of power, wealth and independence.
I projected onto my first daughter. When she started skiing I told her she could be an olympian, when she started playing the guitar I told her she could be a rockstar.
Some people may say it’s inspiring and motivating to help people see their true potential, but in reality, we steal the playfulness away from the actual activity.
Let’s make sure that we set expectations for ourselves and not superimpose them onto others.
And we do set expectations on ourselves, let’s make sure we are doing things that make us happy in the long run. This is what creates true happiness.
Rather than setting expectations in ourselves or others just to make us look good.
Many executives and business owners believe money or the next promotion will set them free. However, it has been proven over and over again that this is a myth.
In reality, both status and money enslave us and make us feel overwhelmed with fear that we will lose it all or not win the race to the top.
Money has enslaved me, not because I was obsessed with making as much as possible, but because it scared me and therefore I would sabotage my own income – If I spent it all no one could take it away from me.
For some people it’s the opposite – they become scrooges, living in fear that they will wake up to an empty vault.
Take a moment today to reflect on how you want to design your life – consider the future ahead and acknowledge that it is not too late to build a life on your terms.
Take a hard look at some of the choices you are making.
Success is measured by how you live life your way.
If we don’t connect with our heart and only make decisions with our heads we will miss out on a multitude of opportunities and increase the chances of burnout.
How will you design your life?
Founder of the Athena Group of Companies, a business conglomerate that operates in more than 40 countries, Mario started his first business with $300 in the bank selling blenders door to door.
Through unconventional marketing techniques, efficient logistical systems, and a team of global contractors, he propelled Froothie to $1m in year one and over $10m in year two, all bootstrapped.
Since then Mario launched multiple ventures into the millions, all bootstrapped, including an events business, a FinTech consulting firm, a marketing agency and multiple ecom businesses all while surviving a massive scam, various black swan events, and all the ups and downs of entrepreneurship. He continues to launch new companies, is a partner at a law firm and the founder of a VC fund.
In 2021, Mario decided to begin documenting his journey and helping other entrepreneurs at no cost, all while travelling the world pursuing his hobby dancing the Bachata.
The journey & the hustle continues with the biggest daily room on Clubhouse and a rapidly growing community of entrepreneurs and business owners.
We will also talk about topics such as:
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The power of Clubhouse & Twitter spaces.
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The power of growth hacking as an under-rated marketing channel
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The importance of building a personal brand.
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Many business owners are unaware of the conflict they have with work and the underlying stress it creates.
We often talk about learning to say no to others requests, but what about the demands in our own heads?
How many times have we said no to the telephone, or turning on the laptop when spending time with our families or friends, then find ourselves having a quick peek to check on things?
Before we know it, we are lost in a conversation with a client that could have waited two days or even a week.
Let’s make sure we are in control of our free time and how we experience it.
When we set boundaries with ourselves and say “I am not available today or this week” we learn to find harmony in our professional and personal lives.
Otherwise, we are allowing other people to own our diaries and steal precious time, eventually leading to increased overwhelm and potentially burnout.
Enjoy the Easter holidays – let’s make a commitment to taking a real break.
How do you set boundaries?
Business owners who want to scale their businesses often find they are doing tasks that can be easily outsourced. They are doing things that distract them from focusing on what they are truly great at.
An obvious one is cleaning the house. Not just a metaphor.
My wife and I run coaching businesses and found ourselves spending the weekend cleaning the house instead of enjoying quality time with the children.
This just an example of tasks that can be outsourced, what about copywriting, video editing or managing the operations of your business.
When we open our minds up to increasing capacity in our business, we accelerate growth.
When we hold onto tasks to protect profit and value Money over time, we become a bottleneck to growth.
Which tasks, regardless of costs, should you delegate or outsource so you can focus on your strengths?
Business owners who do too much find it hard to be still, we try to relax in front of the TV and before we know it, a thought goes in our heads and we are multitasking with the laptop or pacing the living room on the phone, passively watching the movie.
We have been taught that doing nothing is lazy.
I have to force myself to switch off, otherwise, my restless mind will have me up and about doing things that can easily wait. I’m the guy clearing the table whilst people are still eating.
Being still is not lazy, let’s take time this week to be introspective and reflect on our business, health, relationship and mindset goals.
If being still is lazy then it is a skill we should harness because it strengthens our mindset and will improve performance in the long run.
Otherwise, we are like athletes playing the game at 100%, 100% of the time – and that is not sustainable.
Take The 4 Keys quiz HERE to see how you are experiencing life right now.
Business owners who do too much are often complicating things and find themselves overburdened with unnecessary actions.
I believe our biggest lesson post-Covid will be to keep it simple.
My biggest problem in business (and in my sports career) was that I feared simplicity. I believed that if it was too easy I must be doing something wrong.
I had a coach who said “hockey is a simple game, complicated by fools” I have carried this philosophy into everything I do and is a core to the Burnout Boss community.
Let’s turn our attention to stripping back as we move forward with this year. It will be liberating and free up more time to focus on scaling our businesses.
The riches are in taking on less and doing a job very well.
Rather than taking on too much, doing a lesser job and getting burned out.
How do you keep things simple?
Many business owners who do too much feel guilty about relaxing. It’s often unthinkable to lounge around and do nothing.
We believe we will never achieve greatness if we take time out. That’s what the gurus say. Right?
I am a restless person, I have found it impossible to stop and recharge, I am always looking for ways to be more productive, but the truth is I’m never being productive with this mindset.
It’s important to schedule a time for ourselves – one day each month where we get lost for a day in the city or spend the day on the couch or head to the mountains.
Taking a guilt-free time-out is a healthy habit and will empower you to be more productive, focused and happy.
Recharging should need no explanation or justification, make sure you get your own oxygen mask on first.
What will you do this month to recharge?
Ambitious business owners often beat themselves up, they are self-critical and focus on the times when they didn’t perform well. High performing athletes are the same.
I spent way too much time focusing on negativity – early on in my leadership career I focused on negative performance in others trying to fix them – of course, it was with the best intentions. But I often wonder if it was because of my own insecurities.
Let’s make sure that we elevate ourselves and others and see each other in the best light possible. We must try to avoid being back seat drivers in our minds or when observing others, even when we find ourselves shouting at our favourite football player on the screen.
Be your own personal cheerleader and go all-in on being a cheerleader for others by seeing the success first.
There is always a place for critical analysis – but we need to be mindful of the long-term effects of negative criticism
How will review your week positively today?
Business owners who do too much, often camouflage their frenetic action just to look busy. It’s drilled in us from a young age to take action, do our homework, be active, do our chores.
I would often mistake looking busy for taking action. There is a big difference.
Of course, we need to take action, it means strong decision making, achievement and commitment.
Taking action is useless if it is just for the sake of looking busy. We also need to focus on practice, mastery and creativity, whether it’s our leadership, our craft, and our personal lives.
Choose flow and avoid unnecessary action by taking time each morning to practice engaging your parasympathetic nervous system. This state will give you a competitive advantage.
Otherwise, we miss the opportunities towards positive next steps, inner peace and wellbeing.
What’s your number one tip for getting into a flow state?
Business owners and founders who obsess about their work often lose sight of their purpose. It’s easily done, I still have to catch myself today when I’m feeling under pressure.
It wasn’t until I prepared for my TEDx talk in 2015 that I connected the dots with my father suddenly dying of a heart attack at age 48 that I truly understood my purpose.
And still, it wasn’t 100% – because of the single-minded obsession with helping others caught up with me and I realised I had neglected my own health and personal relationships.
Let’s make sure we focus on our purpose and not get lost in the chaos of work to ensure we don’t become distracted and make poor choices.
When we live our purpose every day we thrive, feel inspired and work at our potential.
Not aligning with our purpose in both our professional and personal lives can lead to a lack of motivation, overwhelm and potentially burnout.
Let me know your purpose.
The lust for money, cars and trophies is a disease amongst business owners who lack balance in their lives.
Don’t get me wrong I want to make money, I want to make a lot of it, and I like nice things. But at what price?
Will I be less of a father, husband, friend as a result?
Or will the service I provide to my clients be lessened when I see them as financial goals?
Financial goals are important, but what about the goals we achieved and the memories that came with them?.
When I look back on my successes, it was less about the medals and more about the locker room spirit, and it was less about the bottom line and more about the satisfaction of seeing my clients transform their businesses.
Let’s define ourselves by the memories we create for ourselves and others rather than be led by the disease of greed.
Does an obsession with results achieve greatness?
Hyper-achievers and business owners who do too much find it hard to enjoy a state of tranquillity.
I know this too well. I believed unless I was spinning ten plates and involved with everything I wasn’t adding value, when in fact, I was causing more harm to myself and my professional and personal relationships.
As business owners, we want to solve problems, save the day and be a hero.
To avoid burnout we need to put more effort into thinking time, to reflect and get comfortable with being a daydreamer.
Try looking out of the window for a while…
When we make time to truly focus and concentrate on the important things in life, we increase our intuition, calmness and happiness.
Otherwise, we become slaves to phone calls, emails and social media – and become so overwhelmed we burnout.
How do you take time out to be quiet?
Ready to level up? Take the quiz www.4keysquiz.com
Many business owners have never asked themselves what they truly love to do. I don’t mean going for a bike ride or watching the match with mates. I mean going deeper into reconnecting with their passion and purpose.
Business can make us too serious and we lose the playfulness in our work and how we lead. This has happened to me several times in business and as an athlete.
Occasionally, I go back to the freedom I felt playing street hockey in the car-parks or playing a Beastie Boys album for the first time.
Let’s take time to reflect on what brought us joy in our youth or what makes us truly happy, and reconnect with that feeling in our work.
When we tap into a playful, free and vibrant state we attract success, wealth and health into our lives.
When we get too serious we become unapproachable, cold and disconnected.
How do you incorporate play into your life on a daily basis?
Feeling burned out? Take the quiz - www.4keysquiz.com
Many successful people don’t like who they become when they achieve their goals. Often because of the impact on their mental health and how they impacted their relationships.
Managing my drive, obsession and commitment on a healthy level – doesn’t come easy for me, I have to stop and think every day about how my goals are shaping me as a person.
And what if I fail, who will I become then?
Take time today to consider how we balance our values and identity with success.
When we align with our values and purpose our success (or failure) doesn’t become our identity.
We are not our goals, our houses or our cars – we are who we are.
How do you stay humble?
Want to scale your business without burnout? take the quiz www.4keysquiz.com
Do you want to learn how to strengthen your thinking and develop an unbeatable mind?Mark Divine is a former Navy SEAL, New York Times bestselling author, and the founder of multiple million-dollar businesses. He’s also a lifetime Martial Artist and Ashtanga Yoga teacher with a passion for helping others discover and develop a warrior offensive mindset to help deepen their will power, make better decisions under pressure, and focus on the mission until victory.Mark has so many incredible lessons and insights to share and he was generous enough to discuss a few with me so that I can share them with you and help you to build a truly unbeatable mind
In this episode, Mark shares many incredible lessons and insights to help you discover your true calling and build an unbeatable mind.
Find out about:
- How Mark found his purpose in life
- How to integrate the power of visualisation
- What it means to be an elite warrior
- How to build an unbreakable mind
Want to learn how you can build a network of opportunities without having an agenda?
Attending networking events can seem daunting, especially if you associate them with pushy and overbearing people.
So, how can introverts (like you and I) build a network of opportunities without having an agenda?
Jordan Harbinger, often referred to as “The Larry King of podcasting,” is an interview talk show host and a communications and social dynamics expert. He’s somewhat of a networking genius, which is why I invited him to join me for an insightful conversation on this episode about how you can build a brilliant network that becomes your tribe – without having an agenda.
Find out about:
- Jordan’s experience with imposter syndrome
- How to create a successful sales meeting
- How to build a network of opportunities
Everything changed for Chris at the end of 2009, when he suffered a horrific burnout. He was living like most entrepreneurs, working 14-hour days, six days a week, spending very little time with his family and working ‘in’ his business, instead of ‘on’ it way too much. Sure, he loved his business and the focus of building it, but I was tired. In every possible way.
Going into 2010, he put a 1-year goal in place – to become a Virtual CEO. He started a blog to chart the journey. He was going to replace himself in his business as much as possible by the end of the year. By late November 2010, he achieved the goal. Not only that, but he launched another business in the middle of that year, Virtual Staff Finder, as a result of simply listening to my online audience.
In this episode Chris gives loads of advice on how to
- Focus on your niche
- Become an authority in your industry
- Why you need to be OB1 and not Luke Skywalker - we geeked out a bit here...
- Why six packs are overrated - it's better to have a strong back :-)
Chris is a incredible entrepreneur who genuinely cares about the people he serves. It was an absolute pleasure to speak with him
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Are You Getting Enough Sunlight for Health & Performance?
Maybe you're getting more during Lockdown and feeling better for it?
How often have you left home when it's dark, and back home when it's dark?
Which could damage your health...
Matt Maruca and I talk about the epidemic of chronic disease in our society and how adding more natural light and removing the unnatural blue light from our daily lives can help to prevent anxiety, depression, heart disease, obesity, autoimmune disease, and/or cancer.
Matt Maruca is the founder of Ra Optics and the creator of The Light Diet.
Matt is just 20 years old, but has a deep knowledge of health, disease and how to be optimal.
We talk about how his own personal struggles with gut issues, allergies and migraines sent him down a path of researching the importance of safe exposure to sunlight for optimal human health.
You'll hear practical tips on how to maintain optimal performance, be more productive and happier.
You can find out more about Matt on Instagram @thelightdiet and @Ra_optics
Billy is no stranger to being punched in the face.
We talked about having the right mindset and the attitude of a champion which will enable you to pass through the blood, sweat and tears to become even more effective, win more and experience more success,
Billy talks about how we can all possess happiness, fulfilment and satisfaction and feel like a Champion of our own World
Have you got what it takes to Step Up, Man Up and go the distance, the full 12 rounds?
There is no better time than right now, to Rise Up, Step Up to Man Up, Develop, Challenge and Confront yourself, to be your greatest self, your true self.
Let’s get it on! 🥊
Apologise for the quality of my sound on this episode.
Are you strong for life?
I got the opportunity to speak in depth with StrongFirst Master Trainer, Pavel Macek
We talked about the StrongFirst philosophy, how to stay strong, nutrition and so much more.
About Pavel
- Certified StrongFirst Master Instructor & StrongFirst Elite (strongfirst.com & strongfirst.cz)
- SIMPLEXSTRONG fan of an old-time strongman training (simplexstrong.com)
- Flexible Steel Specialist (flexiblesteel.com)
- Oxygen Advantage Instructor (oxygenadvantage.com)
- Practical Hung Kyun Chief Instructor (practicalhungkyun.com & practicalhungkyun.cz)
- KB5 Chief Instructor (kb5.cz)
- MMA Gym Prague Chief Instructor (mmagym.cz)
- Cat lover and Pu-Erh tea drinker
Be strong, Be useful
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Within a business, it is important to set goals. Whether you are stuck on which path to take next, or you are right at the start line, Will Polston, a good friend, colleague, and peer of mine, explains today how to ‘make it happen’. Will has a goal to impact 1 billion people and in the past 5 years, has already been making huge progress in developing people who may feel uncertain on where to go next. He shares how to maintain a positive and resourceful state of mind, how to shift unwanted feelings, alter perceptions, utilise the conscious mind and achieve lifelong goals.
Will is so energised by his profession, he does what he does because he has found his purpose. He lives by his own values; self-mastery, building businesses, creating wealth, and building relationships.
Are there any steps we should take during this time especially, to help us with our future?
Self-care is the most important, as well as structure. Especially for those that are used to 9-5 professions. Keep a structure in your day, set yourself tasks. You may have to make yourself a new routine, but be proactive about it, make your day how it works for you.
So are you ready to make it happen? Are you ready to find your end goal?
How To Maintain Balance When Leading in a Crisis
Stuart Lancaster took the England Team to the World Cup in 2015 and faced some harsh ups and downs during this process.
Learning valuable lessons of leadership, management and identity, he will share with us what he has learned from the field onto the boardroom, and how to lead through a crisis.
We will discuss:
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How to maintain strong player relationships remotely
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How to maintain balance outside of work life
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Leadership vs Management
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How to develop individual talent beyond rugby
You can also take Stuart's course Leader, Manager & Coach on Udemy here
Working with elite performers across sports and business, Todd Herman is an entrepreneur, business coach, mentor and author and in his book the Alter ego effect, Todd has pushed the narrative of having different personas for different situations, however today, I talked to Todd about something a little different.
Following his report into how men and women CEO’s are responding to the current Covid situation I sat down with Todd to see why he wrote that report, what he found and what he thought we could learn from it. We also got into a few other areas of interest including why someone that was winning on the outside could actually be losing on the inside.
We get straight into the CEO report Todd created with some fascinating data points. So enjoy, because in this podcast you can going to hear loads gems from Todd around elite performance and leadership.
Todd identified three groups:
- Fear focussed group
- Unfocussed group
- Strategy focussed group
Do you want to get leaner, stronger and learn how to slow life down, whilst getting more done?
Brad Kearns joins me for an intriguing conversation about how to live life to the full, training smart without putting too much stress on the body, which can lead to burnout.
Brad Kearns, 55, is a New York Times bestselling author, Guinness World Record setting professional Speedgolfer, and former national champion and #3 world-ranked professional triathlete. He has written twenty books on diet, health, peak performance, and ancestral living, and is a popular speaker, retreat host, and face of the Primal Blueprint online multimedia educational courses. In 2017, The Keto Reset Diet became a New York Times bestseller, and briefly ranked as the #1 overall bestselling book on amazon.com.
Find out about:
- How to train smart
- The positive benefits slowing life down
- How to feel more energised happier and more productive
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
TEDx keynote speaker, Mark Metry, suffered from severe social anxiety to the point where he couldn’t make direct eye contact with anyone. He went from having severe social anxiety, unable to speak to anyone or even make eye contact, to becoming a socially free person and speaking on stage to thousands of people worldwide.
In this episode, Mark joins me for an eye-opening and inspiring discussion about how you can build an incredible personal brand on LinkedIn. We also dive into Mark’s experience with severe social anxiety and uncover a few of the key teachings from his book, Screw Being Shy
Find out about:
- How to build a personal brand on LinkedIn
- How to overcome social anxiety and shyness
- Understanding the relationship between mental health and gut health
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Do you want to make a difference in the world? To start a movement that has the power to change people’s lives?
It may seem like a mammoth task for just one person but Andy Ramage, the Co-Founder of OneYearNoBeer, proves that big changes for many almost always start with big changes for one.
OneYearNoBeer is a challenge whereby participants give up alcohol for a year. During this time, they focus on healthy alternatives and find support and encouragement from a vibrant online and offline community.
Andy Ramage joins me for an intriguing conversation about how he started the OneYearNoBeer challenge, the incredible impact it’s had (and continues to have) on people’s lives, and how you can start your own movement.
Find out about:
- How OneYearNoBeer Got Started
- The positive benefits that come when you take a break from alcohol
- How to start a movement in your own life or business
Whether you’re a start-up or you’ve been in the game for years, one thing that you must do if you want to reach true success is to embrace your niche.
Focusing your efforts on marketing around the smallest possible viable market is a key strategy that Seth Godin, author of Seth’s Blog, has advised fellow entrepreneurs to do for quite some time.
In this episode, Seth Godin joins me for an incredibly interesting conversation that dives into this topic further. We also explore burnout, which many of you know is a topic very close to my heart, and why playing safe is risky.
Find out about:
- What causes burnout and stress
- How freelancers can scale
- Why you need to get specific if you want to scale within your niche
For more information and to read the blog post on this topic go to
Build Trust Within Your customers
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Why Going Low Carb Could be the Solution
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Hit Your Business & Personal Targets
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What are your values as a business owner?
In this episode I talk about The 4 Keys values:
- Do The Work
- No Excuses
- Always Ready
- Speak The Truth
Learn the 3 principles for developing a winning mindset
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode One of The 4 Keys show: How To Win In Your Busines, Body, Relationships and Mindset
In this show, I talk about Vision & Purpose-What Do You Want and Why Do You Want It?
learn how to implement the unique 4 Keys Method.