A Circle is Round: Recent Episodes
Julia Toro
There's a friendship crisis in America. Friendships are one of the key indicators of happiness...and we're lonelier than ever. A Circle is Round is all about adult friendship: how to make new friends, nurture the ones you have, and feel connected in this modern world. Hosted by Julia Toro and Steph Douglass, 2 women in their 30s who are searching for something more.
Do you want your friendships to last longer? Have you drifted apart from good friends? Steph and Julia interview Steph's long time Bestie, Nancy Lopez about how to really make friendships stick.
In this ep we cover:
- Steph + Nancy the origin story [spoiler: imagine them as little 10 year olds!!]
- When they knew they'd be friends forever
- What makes a quality and long term friendship
- Steph hits "cliche saying" bingo
Do you ever order cocktails and not like them? What are your thoughts on college? Do you have read receipts turned on?
Steph & Julia discuss our cocktail strategy, our thoughts on education & dating, and how we approach read receipts.
In this episode, we cover:
- Real-time friend feedback
- Our non-cute dinner series
- The nuances of Drake lyrics
- Establishments with "Factory" in the name
- Dating with education requirements
- How trust & read receipts are directly related
Do you wish you could be more spontaneous — but your schedule is too full? Why is scheduling things with friends so hard these days?
Julia & Steph discuss how to not to get bogged down by plans, actually get things on the cal, and also be more spontaneous.
In this episode, we cover:
- Our group trip recap
- Which types of restaurants are best for groups
- Scheduling with friends
- Planned spontaneity
- A new app idea that you're not allowed to steal
Do you hang out with a bunch of people but don't necessarily FEEL connected? What is it that makes us feel connected?
Steph & Julia discuss what makes them feel connected, their own connection styles, and why being present is the key to having fun
In this episode, we cover:
- Chelsea Handler's pool parties
- Being present and what it really means
- How to feel more connected in conversation
- How to have more fun in group settings
- Different connection styles
Do you know how to have fun on group trips? Do you wish you were better at planning them? Do you want to go on MORE group trips?
Steph & Julia discuss the art of the group trip, how to plan/attend the best ones, and how to be more intentional about group trips in general.
In this episode, we cover:
- Swingers vs. Poly
- How to be a great group trip attendee
- How to be a great group trip planner
- The best mindset to have for group trips
- Why we can't let bachelor/bachelorettes be the only group trips we go on
Can you ever really be just friends with a person of the gender you're attracted to?
Steph & Julia answer a listener question about platonic male friendship, the nuances involved if you're in a relationship, and whether or not we think it's real.
In this episode, we cover:
- Whether platonic male friendship is possible as straight women
- New platonic male friends vs. ones you had before your relationship
- What friendship with men brings to our lives (if anything)
- How to handle partner jealousy
P.S. If you've got friendship questions, submit them to @acircleisround on IG
Do you ever get tired of doing the same old shit? How vulnerable are you really when it comes to friendship? Do you struggle with inviting people to do things with you?
Steph & Julia discuss better ways to bond, how to be truly yourself around other people, and how to invite someone out in a way that feels totally no pressure.
In this episode, we cover:
- Steph’s big announcement (going natural)
- Which teen celebrities made it out unscathed
- Why vulnerability is terrifying
- The magic of being creative with your friends
- How to invite someone out in a way that makes them feel wanted but not pressured
Do you use the phrase "my people"? Have you ever looked around a room and thought: These are definitely not my people. Do you ever wonder if it's you or them?
Steph & Julia discuss how to find your people, whether having "people" is a myth to begin with, and what to do if you're in a social situation where you feel like an alien.
In this episode, we cover:
- How we define "our people"
- What to do when the connection isn't there
- Why we can't plan friendship
- The art of letting go
- Why we want everyone to love us — even if we don't love them
Do certain friends stress you out? How do you deal? Do you know how to set boundaries when you feel drained by other people?
Steph & Julia discuss their stressful friends, why letting go is key to friend magic, and how to reflect on why you feel stressed by other people.
In this episode, we cover:
- How to deal with stressful friends
- How to know if you're a stressful friend
- Energy matching + meeting people where they are
- BOUNDARIES
- Fear of rejection + letting go of control
Are you comfy during 1:1 conversations — but feel awkward when you're in a group? Do you wish group conversations lasted longer? Do you feel like it's hard to make friendship a priority in your life?
Steph & Julia discuss the art of the group hang, how to keep everyone equally engaged, and the best mindset to have to start prioritizing friendship.
In this episode, we cover:
- How to take friendship and community seriously
- The perfect group conversation number
- How to stop the group conversation from fizzling
- The best mindset for a group conversation
- The best activity to do with a friend if you want to see the REAL them
- Taking conversational risks
Who do you call when you have good news? Is it better to be the friend people call when they're in distress or when they're ready to celebrate?
Steph & Julia discuss being the Good News Friend, loving people like they've never been loved before, and how to give a friend feedback in a way that's not dorky.
In this episode, we cover:
- Friend momentum
- An interesting friendship study about celebrating vs. helping through tough times
- Why you should tell people how you feel about them
- A recent time Steph got annoyed at a friend
- The intricacies of friend feedback
- Why honesty = trust
Do you feel like you only hang out with couples? Are you single and wish you had more single friends? Was this title sort of clickbait?
Steph and Julia discuss how to make friends when you're single or in a couple, how to reorient your life towards community, and how to adjust your default state from wanting to be alone to wanting to connect.
In this episode, we cover:
- The considerations you have to make when you're in a couple
- How to think like you're single when it comes to your social life
- Why time is precious and should be spent connecting
- How to balance your social life with 'life admin'
- How to integrate the two so your life feels social
- Why being social doesn't have to involve drinking
Have you ever cried in public — out of loneliness? Do you know how to show up for friends when they're sad? What about when they're celebrating?
Steph and Julia discuss why everything feels so lonely sometimes, how to create your own community structure, and the #1 key to strengthening your relationships.
In this episode, we cover:
- Celebrating friends vs. helping through hard times
- How community = structure
- Ideas to build your own community structure
- How self-love is related to resentment
- Why Julia was crying in public
- Capitalism and how it's affected communities
Have you ever tried to be friends with someone and...it just never really happened? Is it possible to be friends with no shared experience?
Steph & Julia discuss trying to make a friendship out of nothing, making space for new people into your routine, and generally feeling like people fit into your daily life.
In this episode, we cover:
- Our personal words for 2023
- Needing and wanting as keys to new friends
- Being too picky about new people
- Why we're tired of getting dinner with people
Does it seem like you're always carrying the conversation? Do you feel like an interesting person? Are you an active listener, or are you too in your head?
Steph & Julia discuss the key ingredients to great convos, the right (and wrong!) mindsets for stimulating chats, and the #1 trick to enjoying any conversation.
In this episode, we cover:
- Our favorite conversations recently
- How to be more curious
- Playfulness vs. humor
- How to stop being too aware of yourself
- The art of the group conversation
Have you ever run into a friend's ex? Or hooked up with your friend's crush? Have you ever accidentally offended your bestie? How did you handle it?
Steph & Julia discuss their simple method to work it out when things get tough, why being considerate ALL the time is overrated, and the best kind of apologies.
In this episode, we cover:
- Our worst friend fights
- The Friend Fight Framework (it's sooo easy)
- Best practices to navigate friend fights
- How to apply habit stacking to friendships
- Texas Roadhouse vs. Applebee's
Are you honest with people? Do you know how to say no without lying or making excuses? Do you put friends on a pedestal? And does that ever keep you from asking them to hang?
Steph & Julia discuss the magic secret to life, cultivating integrity of speech, the best way to give friends honest feedback, and the things we project onto each other.
In this episode, we cover:
- Prioritizing yourself
- How to say no in a casual, fun, cute way
- Worrying about whether your friends are having fun
- How to always be prepared for a birthday party
- Putting friends on a pedestal
- No Skips Hangs™
Do you have hobbies? Do you know what your friends' hobbies are? Do you ever try to convince your friends to move to your city? Do you romanticize your life, or are you more...realistic...about it?
Steph & Julia discuss the best and least-talked-about way to express love to your favorite people and what it feels like to focus on smaller hangs.
In this episode, we cover:
- How to be more interested in your loved ones' interests
- How to get your friends to move to where you live
- Romanticizing and loving your daily life
- Always feeling like you're the planner
- Optimism vs. hyperbole
- The Kardashians (sorry)
What do you believe about yourself? Do you ask too many questions? Or not enough? Do you hate making eye contact? Do you skip to the good part when you watch porn?
Steph & Julia discuss mind management, how to get people to like you in a non-mind control way, how to be curious, and how to need less validation.
In this episode, we cover:
- Being alone with your thoughts
- The emotional rollercoaster of TikTok
- How beliefs about ourselves affect our experiences
- How to be curious and let go of expectations
Do you ever wonder if you're interesting enough? Do you question whether you want kids and feel a certain type of way about it? Do you ever feel guilty about gossiping?
Steph & Julia discuss how to not talk about the same things over and over, why we default to talking about other people, and how our individual experiences of everything are different!
In this episode, we cover:
- Questioning becoming a parent
- Getting stuck in conversational patterns
- Conversational categories
- How to find your purpose in life
- Those trippy moments where you realize you're a human...
Do you feel like you can talk about anything with your best friends? Are you a people pleaser? Do you feel like it's your responsibility to make sure everyone's having fun? Do you feel comfy sharing your thoughts off the cuff, or does it feel like a freefall to you, like it does to us...?
Steph & Julia discuss the art of good conversation, honesty,
In this episode, we cover:
- What's required to build deep friendships
- Why friend requirements change with age
- Why good conversation is currency
- How divorce can create people pleasers
- How to create social boundaries
Do you ever feel pressure to "perform" during friend hangs? Do you miss those high school or college days when you'd do everything with your friends or roommates? Are you judgmental towards other people — and do you struggle with social anxiety, too?
Steph & Julia discuss how to intentionally create those bonding experiences with friends as working adults who live with their romantic partners and why it's important to show up, even if you're feeling a little messy.
In this episode, we cover:
- Two key ingredients to friendship: Low Stakes Hangs & Forced, Repeat Exposure
- Why we might need to devalue our time a little for better connections
- Why we should all go to the DMV together
- Why you should never invite a new friend to a nice dinner
- How we became friends
- How brain health is related to friendship diversity!
Do you ever put new friends on a pedestal? Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you do your friends? Are you feeling dissatisfied with your current friendship situation?
Julia & Steph share why they decided to start this podcast, share their own personal friendship situations, and discuss the best, healthiest way to think about friendships.
In this episode, we talk about:
- The expectations we have for friends
- Why platonic friendship is so important
- Why we should ask more favors of others
- How to build community and feel rooted
- A quick detour into polygamy...