SoulSalt: Recent Episodes

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This Is Not the Time to Get Lost in Your Head: The Head Heart Gut ConnectionYou’ve heard all the things.

“Use your head.”

“Think it through.”

“Be rational.”

For centuries we’ve been taught that our logical mind is the best, and sometimes only, place to make decisions. But what if your head isn’t meant to do all the work?

Science is revealing something many of us have sensed all along: our greatest wisdom comes when we listen to more than just our thinking mind. When our head, heart, and gut work together, we gain greater clarity, confidence, creativity, and peace.

For more than two decades, I’ve helped leaders and purpose-driven people learn to access this deeper inner wisdom. One of the most powerful discoveries I’ve encountered is that we each possess remarkable intelligence beyond our analytical thinking.

What Is the Head Heart Gut Connection?The head heart gut connection describes how three interconnected neural systems—the brain in your head, the neural network surrounding your heart, and the enteric nervous system in your gut—communicate with one another.

Rather than relying solely on logic, research suggests our best decisions often emerge when these three centers work together. Your head contributes analysis and perspective, your heart provides values and connection, and your gut offers instinct, courage, and self-preservation.

When all three are engaged, we become more balanced, innovative, and resilient.

When Were You Told to “Use Your Noggin?”Back in the early 1600s, René Descartes may have unintentionally set us up to get stuck in our heads.

Dubbed the “Father of Western Philosophy,” he famously declared:

“Cogito, ergo sum.”
“I think, therefore I am.”

For hundreds of years, Western culture has largely viewed emotions, heart intelligence, and gut instincts as inferior to rational thought.

Today, science is challenging that belief.

Here are just a few examples:

“Emotions are not a luxury; they are essential to rational thinking.”
— Antonio R. Damasio, Descartes’ Error

“The enteric nervous system is an independent site of neural integration and processing. That is what makes it the second brain.”
— Michael D. Gershon, M.D., The Second Brain

“The heart sends signals to the brain that can influence perception, emotional experience and higher mental processes.”
— HeartMath Institute

What Science Knows Today About the Three BrainsWe now know that we have functional neural intelligence in our head, heart, and gut.

Each contains complex neural networks that communicate constantly with one another. Together they support decision-making, problem-solving, emotional regulation, creativity, intuition, and leadership.

When we’re at our best, innovative, focused, calm, and fully present, all three are actively participating. If you’d like to dive deeper into the science, I share more in my TEDx Talk on the head, heart, and gut connection.

Why Your Head Shouldn’t Be the BossYour head is brilliant. But it doesn’t need to run the entire show. Instead of acting as CEO, imagine your head taking one seat on your internal Board of Directors.

Your heart has wisdom.

Your gut has wisdom.

Your head has wisdom.

The magic happens when all three contribute.

A Simple Exercise to Connect Your Head, Heart, and GutAs I shared in my TEDx Talk, you can learn to intentionally consult all three brains using Multiple Brain Integration Techniques (mBIT).

Here’s a simple exercise to experience it for yourself.

Step 1: Prepare* Grab a journal and something to write with. * Choose a decision, challenge, or situation where you’d appreciate greater clarity.

Step 2: Become Still* Spend about two minutes breathing slowly and quietly. * Allow your nervous system to settle. * When your body becomes calmer, it’s easier to access wisdom beyond constant mental chatter.

Step 3: Ask Your HeartChoose one or two questions:

• What is important here?
• What is the relationship?
• How am I feeling?
• What do I value about this?

Notice whatever arises. Perhaps it’s an image. A feeling. A word. A phrase.

Write it down without judging it.

Step 4: Ask Your HeadNow engage your thinking mind.

Ask:

• What do I already know?
• What might happen in the future?
• What does this mean?
• How can I imagine this working out?

Record your answers.

Step 5: Return to Your HeartGo back and ask another heart-centered question you haven’t explored yet.

Often the second visit reveals even deeper insight.

Step 6: Ask Your GutNow invite your gut intelligence into the conversation.

Ask:

• What is my motivation?
• What is stopping me?
• How secure do I feel?
• What is my gut sense about this?

Again, simply notice what comes.

Step 7: Bring It All TogetherFinally, return once more to your heart.

Ask:

• How do these pieces of wisdom fit together?
• What message is emerging?
• What is the quiet inner voice trying to tell me?

Pause.

Listen.

Write whatever comes forward.

What This Exercise RevealsIf you found yourself receiving meaningful answers throughout this exercise, congratulations.

Your head, heart, and gut were all online and communicating.

The question becomes: How often do you actually listen?

And how often do you allow your head to overrule the wisdom of the other two?

This Is the Time to Trust Your Inner WisdomToday’s world is noisy. There are countless opinions competing for your attention. That’s exactly why this is not the time to become trapped inside your head. It’s the time to reconnect with your own inner wisdom.

We need good-hearted people who are willing to lead from clarity rather than fear. We need people who trust themselves enough to blaze new trails, imagine new possibilities, and create more harmony in the world. That journey begins by consulting your own inner Board of Directors: your head, your heart, and your gut.

You can do this.

You already possess the wisdom.

Your task is simply to learn how to hear it.

If you’d like additional support, I invite you to schedule a 30-minute mBIT session.

You can also explore more resources in How to be an Inspired Badass Guidepost #20: Why the World Needs Enlightened, Inspired Badasses Right Now

“There are times when it is profitable to listen to the voices of those who have gone before. This is a time when listening to our inner wisdom matters more.”

May today be the day you stop letting your head be the boss, and start allowing your whole self to lead.

Frequently Asked QuestionsDo humans really have three brains?While only the brain inside the skull is considered a brain in the traditional anatomical sense, both the heart and the gut contain extensive neural networks that communicate continuously with the brain. This ongoing communication is why researchers often refer to the heart and gut as having their own forms of intelligence.

What is Multiple Brain Integration Techniques (mBIT)?mBIT is a coaching methodology designed to help people integrate the intelligence of the head, heart, and gut to improve decision-making, leadership, relationships, and personal wellbeing.

Why is the head, heart, gut connection important?When all three centers work together, people often experience greater clarity, emotional balance, confidence, creativity, and alignment with their values instead of relying solely on analytical thinking.

How can I strengthen my intuition?Practices such as breathwork, mindfulness, journaling, and guided mBIT exercises help quiet the mind and create space to notice the wisdom arising from your heart and gut.

The post Be an Inspired Badass: Guidepost 44 appeared first on SoulSalt.

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Does the Shoe Fit?You’ve been on my mind and in my heart. To the point where my intuitive radar has been buzzing and asking me to write this guidepost for you. I trust each reader will discern if you’re one of those I’m writing to today.

Can You Relate?There are all kinds of reasons why people might feel empty or unfulfilled. These range from mild dissatisfaction to a full-blown existential crisis.
If you find yourself wanting to feel less empty and more fulfilled, is it possible that you are trying to walk through a meaningful life using someone else’s shoe collection?

In a previous article on feeling unfulfilled, I explored many of the symptoms people experience when life drifts out of alignment.

Read it here: 11 Reasons You Are Feeling Unfulfilled (and What to Do About It)

However, this Guidepost explores the deeper architecture underneath why you might not be feeling fulfilled. Let’s take a quick assessment and see how you’re doing in the Fulfillment Department of your life.

How Fulfilled Are You?Be honest with yourself as you take this quick 5-question assessment. I designed it to help you understand where you currently stand.

For each statement, rate yourself:

5 = Almost Always
4 = Often
3 = Sometimes
2 = Rarely
1 = Almost Never

1. I wake up with a sense that my life is moving in a meaningful direction.□ 1 □ 2 □ 3 □ 4 □ 52. My daily activities reflect what I genuinely value, rather than what others expectof me.□ 1 □ 2 □ 3 □ 4 □ 53. I feel connected to a sense of purpose that is larger than simply achieving,earning, or accomplishing.□ 1 □ 2 □ 3 □ 4 □ 54. I regularly make choices that honor my needs, beliefs, and well-being.□ 1 □ 2 □ 3 □ 4 □ 55. When I imagine the next chapter of my life, I feel more energized than resigned.□ 1 □ 2 □ 3 □ 4 □ 5Your Score21–25: FlourishingYou appear to have a strong sense of fulfillment and alignment. Life isn’t perfect, but your values, beliefs, needs, and actions seem to be working together in meaningful ways. I applaud you.

16–20: Generally FulfilledYou likely experience fulfillment in many areas of life, though there may be places where greater honesty, alignment, or intentionality would deepen your satisfaction.

11–15: At a CrossroadsYou may sense that something important is missing. Don’t think of it as something that is wrong. Think of it as acknowledgment that you may want to reevaluate a few aspects of your life-leadership. Would a free 20-minute call support you to take your next step? Sign up here.

5–10: Running on EmptyYou may be experiencing a significant disconnection from your values, needs, purpose, or authentic self. The good news is that awareness is the first step toward reclaiming fulfillment. Let’s schedule a free call to explore upping your game. Schedule your 20-minute Discovery Call here.

My Invitation to YouNow that you’ve taken the assessment and read your results, I’d like to invite you to sit with one final question:

What could you do to improve your score by five points?I want to be clear about what I’m not asking with this question. I’m not asking…

What would you need to achieve, or buy, or prove?

I am asking you to consider what you need to spend more time honoring.

I’m wondering what you could acknowledge that you’ve been ignoring?

Over the years, I’ve found that fulfillment tends to emerge when the Salt of our Soul is brought into alignment through both words AND actions.

When the deepest, most brilliant and truest parts of us work together, life becomes more of an expression filled with vibrancy and inner-confidence.

Final ThoughtBefore you run off to create another goal, another intention, or another plan, I hope this article has helped you pause, listen, reflect.

I hope you’ll ask yourself:

What is one change that would move me five points closer to a deeply fulfilling life?Then take one small step in that direction. And keep going. I’m here cheering you on.

The post Be an Inspired Badass: Guidepost 43 appeared first on SoulSalt.

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Choose Your Own AdventureDearest Gentle Reader (Yes, that’s a nod to Bridgerton.)

I want to share something with you that I haven’t spoken about before.

The messages in these guideposts often reveal themselves during meditation, contemplation, or while I’m out running, walking, or hiking. I intentionally ask for guidance about what I should share with you. While my intellect and life experience certainly inform these messages, what ultimately gets written flows through a quieter channel of intuition and inner knowing.

I know some of you sense this. Sometimes you confirm it by telling me that you discovered an article at exactly the moment you needed it most.

It is my intention to remain open and clear so I can continue receiving the guidance that allows me to write to you in this way.

As I reflected on this edition, what came through was something I can best describe as a Choose Your Own Adventure experience.

You’re about to find a collection of posts from the SoulSalt archives. Each one offers a different doorway into understanding yourself, your life, and the path you’re creating during these incredibly cathartic times. Every article was written to nurture the very best within you.

Every personal growth journey is unique. There is no right place to begin and no specific way to use this guidepost. Simply read through the options below and notice what captures your attention or quietly calls you to explore further.

Take what you want, what you need, or what you’re simply curious about. And if you discover something that serves you, I’d love to hear about it.

After all, I fulfill my purpose whenever I help expand your vision of who you are and what you’re capable of becoming.

The Choice Is Yours, Dearest Gentle ReaderI Want to Change My LifeThe day any of us wake up and say, “I want to change my life,” is a significant day.

We’ve probably acknowledged that something isn’t working, something is missing, or perhaps we’re finally ready to take intentional action. Wanting change is the first step, but desire without action rarely creates transformation.

This article outlines 21 practical ways to begin creating meaningful change in your life.

Believe in YourselfThe level of success you experience in life is deeply connected to your beliefs, not your religion or philosophy, but your belief in your own ability to succeed. Believing in yourself means trusting your capabilities. It means knowing that you can do difficult things and believing they’re within your reach.

When you believe in yourself, self-doubt begins to lose its grip, confidence grows, and taking action becomes much easier.

Read it: Here are five simple steps you can begin using today.

Be a Tougher, Smarter, and More Badass Version of YourselfThis comprehensive guide begins by asking you to define what being a badass actually means to you.

You don’t need to buy a motorcycle, wear sunglasses indoors, or learn to fight. You certainly can if you want to, but what you drive or wear won’t make you more of a badass.

What is badass is discovering how you want to uniquely impact the world, and then committing yourself wholeheartedly to that mission.

Get the guide here, then get going.

Find Your PurposeIf you want greater clarity about your purpose, you can begin by reading this article or picking up a copy of my book.

From the time we’re about six years old, we’re constantly asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Those of us who don’t know, or guessed wrong,can be left carrying a quiet sense of emptiness.

My research and experience have shown me that thousands of people, from students to highly accomplished professionals, wrestle with this question every single day. The good news?

Feeling lost or lacking direction doesn’t have to be permanent. With the right process, you can uncover the purpose that’s been waiting for you all along.

This article will walk you through it. Read it here.

Improve Your Leadership Ability TodayBeing a leader and possessing leadership qualities are not always the same thing. Whether you’re leading a team at work, your family at home, or simply yourself, growth always begins within. Great leaders continually develop themselves while helping others grow alongside them.

So what makes someone an effective leader?

This article explores the qualities and characteristics you can begin cultivating today.

What Did You Notice?As I mentioned earlier, there is no right or wrong way to use this guidepost. Simply notice what calls to you. If you’re still unsure where to begin, try this simple exercise.

Read through the list one more time and notice which option creates:

• The strongest emotional response.
• The most curiosity.
• The most resistance.
• The most excitement.
• The most discomfort.

That’s probably the doorway meant for you. Have you noticed that growth often begins exactly where we need it most, not necessarily where we’d choose for it to begin?

Choose Your PathTrust yourself.

Follow your curiosity.

Enjoy the adventure.

Until next time.

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Conspiracies versus Principles: The Seduction of Being in the KnowThink about your favorite movie star, musician, or sports figure.

Let’s say you get a news alert that they have been critically injured. Initially, the details are sketchy, leaving you wondering if this person is going to be okay. You want to know what happened, how it happened, when it happened, and why. You want as much information as you can get, as soon as you can get it.

In these situations, a particular kind of thinking shows up.One that is very human, yet scientifically, it lacks efficacy. Here’s what happens: In the gap between knowing a thing has happened and knowing all the discoverable details about this thing, our brains make up stories. Our wiring wants to reduce ambiguity and restore a sense of safety. Sometimes it wants to create meaning around what just occurred. So, it kicks into gear and fills in the void with made-up stuff. Granted this stuff could be generated from other experiences, information you already know about the person, hints that the incoming news feeds you, and yet, the result is a story your brain made up.

Not only will our brains make shit up, but researchers like Karen M. Douglas and Jan-Willem van Prooijen have also shown that when we feel uncertain, out of control, or disconnected from facts, we are more likely to accept simplified, emotionally satisfying stories from others. In other words, we are vulnerable to adopting notions that can be categorized as conspiracy theories.

Daniel Kahneman calls the sort of thinking that adopts conspiracies, half-truths, and vague yet simple explanations of incidents, fast thinking. And here’s why I’m bringing this topic up: When we accept stories over facts, we get a false sense of satisfaction. We feel satisfied knowing what is going on in a scenario. That’s when our neurochemicals produce a feeling of completion and control. However, if we haven’t used critical thinking and if we haven’t taken time to get the facts, we are most likely at risk.

We are at risk of being misled, fooled, lied to and dumbed down. I’m concerned about such things.

Protection Against Being Pulled InThere are ways to protect yourself from getting pulled into the vacuum of half-truths and premature conclusions. Don’t look at your intelligence or education for protection. Instead, lean into your personal principles. Know what you stand for. Let these elements of you lead the way.

Refer to your values. If you value freedom, you might ask: How do I stay free from hype and spin? Your values help orient you while you find your own answers.

Consult your beliefs.If you’ve done the work, your beliefs are self-authored. If you know one of your self-selected beliefs can guide you beyond conspiracy thinking, you might ask: What belief can help me stay in observation mode? What belief can help me learn to discern my way to the truth? The bottom line is to shift into choice mode versus reactivity.

Predetermine today how you decide what to believe and what not to believe. Decide how and where you’ll check out only trusted, reliable, objective sources. You may find a way to cross-reference information to verify it for yourself. You might find ways to allow time to pass before you draw a well-founded conclusion.

It takes discipline to pause when your mind wants certainty. It takes personal power to stay open-minded until the truth reveals itself.

A Different Kind of StrengthIn a world that rewards hot mics and fast takes, I’m asking all of us to have a different kind of strength. The kind that won’t allow you and I to get sucked into unwise thinking.

In a world that wants certainty and often wants to be right it takes courage to stand in the gap and not chase after resolve.

This kind of strength relies on you having and living your own personal principles.

You can have more of this sort of strength when you know your answers to the eight main exercises I outline in my book. These exercises give you solid ground to stand on in times of ambiguity and emotionally charged incidents.

What are these pieces of you that we excavate in my book?In a nutshell, here are three anchors from my book. Each one increases your capacity to stand in the middle of ambiguity and remain stable and wise.

They are:

You know your inner plumbline (discount to our Be True Course) so you know how to align actions with your deepest values.

You know your Unique Personal Needs (UPN’s) so you can get these met in the emotionally charged moments before having all the answers.

You have identified your purpose or your “why” and this allows you to stand upon steady ground during ambiguous moments.

In SummaryYes, our brains are wired to leave us vulnerable to accepting all kinds of whacky ideas. The brain is trying to keep us safe, so it wants to reduce ambiguity, restore a sense of safety and control, and it wants to create meaning, so we feel like we’re in the know. If we let our feelings and our human wiring lock in on stories and half-truths, we stop asking questions. We stop using critical thinking. This leads us to being led astray and detached from our best self.

Conspiracy-style thinking isn’t as much about extreme behavior as it is an exaggerated version of a normal brain function.While we might feel like the answer to such situations is to be smarter, the truth is very simple: We all have the capacity to be wiser and more aware when our brains have left the thinking to outside sources. When conspiracy-style thinking wants our attention, get neutral and stabilized by leaning into your own principles. Stay in observation mode. Stay there for as long as you need to until you gain the wisdom that facts, details, and well-curated data points have to offer.

You’ve got this.

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When times are difficult, when global change and upheaval are transforming our daily lives, I’ve found it extremely useful to remind my clients about this quote:

“The optimists died.” — Admiral John StockdaleNow I’m not taking a stand against optimism. But optimism may not be our best mode of operation in this very moment of history.

I learned a lot from reading about James Stockdale, and I’d love you to hear me out about why he said what he said. It just might make your life 100% easier and more effective, starting today.

Who Was James Stockdale?James Stockdale was a heroic prisoner of war, the highest-ranking U.S. naval officer held captive in North Vietnam. He became the organizing force inside one of the most brutal prison systems of the Vietnam War: the Hanoi Hilton.

When his plane was shot down in 1965, Stockdale ejected from the cockpit knowing exactly what was coming. As he descended by parachute, he later said he had time to think, and what he thought was this:

“I’m leaving the world of technology and entering the world of Epictetus.”

That sentence summarizes so much of how James endured what came next.

Stockdale was a student of Stoic philosophy, particularly the teachings of Epictetus, including the belief that while we cannot control what happens to us, we can control how we respond. He would spend the next seven and a half years proving that belief under conditions most of us can barely imagine.

He endured torture, isolation, malnutrition, and relentless psychological pressure. He not only survived, he led others to endure alongside him.

Stockdale established a covert chain of command among prisoners. He helped create a communication system through walls using a tap code. He used it to encourage his men, set expectations for how they would resist interrogation, and sent important intelligence home to his wife hidden inside his letters.

He replaced horror with structure. He met fear by instilling meaning. He overcame isolation by creating connection.

“Who Didn’t Make It Out?”Years later, author and business researcher Jim Collins interviewed Stockdale while writing Good to Great. Collins asked him a simple question:

“Who didn’t make it out?”

Stockdale’s answer was immediate.

“Oh, that’s easy. The optimists.”

The people who died were not those who were hopeful and stoically resilient. They were the pure optimists — the ones who kept setting dates.

“The ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas.’ And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’ll be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come and go. And then Thanksgiving. And then it would be Christmas again…”“They died of a broken heart.”

Pure optimism reduced their resilience.

Stockdale went on to say something that has echoed in my ears ever since I first encountered this story:

“This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end, which you can never afford to lose, with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality.”

The Key LessonWhat Stockdale did instead of hoping to be out by Christmas was to tell himself: No matter what, I am going to get out. I don’t know when. But I will endure.

Then he found ways to endure. That’s the key lesson I want to share with you today.

We may feel like we’re living under conditions that put us in a place of great discomfort, inconvenience, and genuine concern. As bad as it has been, or may still become, we need two things working together:

1. Hope that we will get through.
2. Courage to face the brutal facts of our current reality.

Faith that things will get better. No deadline on when. And then: dig in and find a way through.

Three Ways to Apply Stoic Hope Right NowHere are three SoulSalt strategies for following your inner wisdom through the lens of Epictetus.

1. Tell Yourself the Truth (Completely)Stoic hope begins where denial ends. You cannot lead yourself from distortion. You cannot build resilience on a false foundation.

Stockdale faced the hard, cold facts directly, no softening, no spin. He embraced the uncertainty.

Your work, should you choose it:

• Name what is objectively happening
• Remove the spin, the minimizing, the dramatizing
• Stand in the facts long enough to feel their weight
• Embrace what is real

This is your head brain doing its job. Let yourself see clearly so you can move forward.

1. Narrow Your Circle of Control (Relentlessly)Most people exhaust themselves trying to manage things that were never theirs to manage. Epictetus was clear: focus only on what is within your control.

Your work, if you’re willing:

• Identify what is not yours, other people’s reactions, timing, outcomes
• Release these things, intentionally and repeatedly
• Reinvest that energy into what is yours: your choices, your behaviors, your standards

This is where sovereignty begins. We become self-sovereign when we admit we are not in control of life, but we are in control of ourselves as we journey through it.

This is the foundation of our Soul Sovereignty program.

1. Establish a Personal Code Before You Need ItStockdale was able to lead in the prison camp in part because he brought a philosophy that meant something to him into the experience. Having life and leadership philosophies, a set of core values identified and ready to guide you, this is your internal operating system.

Your work, if you desire it:

• Define what you stand for, even when it’s hard
• Decide how you will behave under pressure
• Pre-choose your standards so you don’t negotiate them in the moment

Get started with my field guide or take our Be True course.

Hope and resilience grow in the face of uncertainty when we hold onto anchors that tell us who we are and what we stand for, even in the most difficult situations.

The Question That Matters MostWhen tough times hit, you can answer this with courage, truth, and the freeing power of knowing who you truly are at your core:

“Given who I am, how do I respond?”

Now I turn things over to you. Given where we are in time, who are you, and how will you respond to the call of the moment?

Want to hear Jim Collins tell the Stockdale story in his own words? Watch here.The post Be an Inspired Badass: Guidepost 40 appeared first on SoulSalt.

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Revisit Your Values. Reset Your Life.There are moments in life that seem disruptive. Sometimes even deeply unsettling. These are times when something feels off, or urgent, life changing. Right now, that’s how I’m feeling. I get a sense that something must give in the conditions of the world. Something could erupt and I’m not so sure that eruption would be easy to navigate.

Maybe you’re feeling something similar. And oh-boy-howdy, you sure can feel it some days more than others.

In my experience, when these moments show up, it’s wise to deliberately pause and consult with one’s values. That’s right, when change or upheaval seem imminent, or something thick and ominous is in the air, I know where I can go to find an honest, self-directed way to navigate, no matter what.

In my mind and heart, realignment with one’s personal formula for integrity (aka core values) is always a safe bet. If you haven’t recently revisited your core values, let me invite you to do so. If you haven’t yet applied rigor and a proven process to identifying your values, let me offer my most frequent and effective course to you at a huge discount (Coupon Code GUIDE for $49.00).

Your ValuesValues differ from beliefs because they are often identified through a filtering process and clarified by the heart, mind, and gut instincts.

They are synonymous with:

• Your North Star
• Inner Compass
• Personal Plumb Line

Values are directional and anchoring. And when we reconnect with them, something powerful happens: They begin to challenge, guide, or validate our choices and actions.

For example: If you say you value freedom, yet you go around acting as if “I have no real choice,” a part of you is standing outside of personal integrity.

If you say you value honesty, yet behave in a way that says, “It’s safer to stay quiet,” you cause tension within your body and soul. It could feel like inner dissonance.

If you say you value growth, yet when growth opportunities arise, you say to yourself, “I’m just not up for a challenge.” Among other things, this may leave you feeling stuck and not realizing you’re doing something harmful to yourself. Even consider that you might
be doing something against your best self.

And to be honest, this tension or lack of alignment might be where people sit and ruminate or worry or simply ignore that what is happening is a signal. What is happening around us is a global wake-up call.

Our personal values can guide us to find an honorable path through the noise and chaos. And if you’ve recently and rigorously identified your values, it’s time to remind all of us that this process of clarifying what they are so we can align action to inner truth is NOT A ONCE IN A LIFETIME event.

The Work: Revisit, Reclaim, RealignSince it isn’t a one-time exercise, it is a practice. Because life changes. You change, and your understanding of what matters deepens
over time, if and when we remain generative and focus on personal growth.

So here is this Guidepost’s Challenge:Revisit your values. And refine them or redefine them or rediscover them. Find what is true for you in light of today’s situation.

Reclaim them by making sure you’ve clearly named them, defined them, own them, and use actions to stand by them. Make every effort to realign your life to them.

If you’re a previous client or someone who has used my SoulSalt method to excavate and own your core value system, this SoulSalt exercise can help you reset. (You may have a copy of my book, and you’ve completed Chapter 3, or you’ve gone through the Be True online course, or completed the assignment with me during a session or presentation.)

The SoulSalt Core-Value Reset Exercise:Set aside 10–15 minutes. Write your answers instinctually and don’t over-think them.

Step 1: Name What Matters NowList your top 3–5 values as they feel true today. Maybe this is a deeper cut into your original values, maybe one or two have shifted and you replace them with one or two from the second to last step in the process you went through initially.

Think about who you are now instead of who you were then or who you sense others expect you to be.

Step 2: Spot A Gap (If there is one)For each value, ask: Where is my life reflecting and not reflecting core value alignment? Be honest. Enlist courage to gain clarity.

Step 3: Find the Belief Beneath ItFor each gap, ask: What am I believing that is allowing this misalignment?

(Example: “I value freedom, but I stay stuck → Am I believing that I don’t have options.”)

Step 4: Choose a Better BeliefGently challenge that belief. Ask: Is this absolutely the truth?What else could be true instead? What might I value that is being disregarded? Write one new, more empowering belief aligned with your value.

(Example: “I value courage, and yet I don’t always speak out → Am I lacking courage? → No, I value courage yet temporarily placing my need for safety first and waiting for the right times and places to speak up.”)

Step 5: Take One Aligned ActionWithin the next 24–72 hours, take one small action that reflects your newly refined value.

(Example: “I still value courage and will speak up when and where I can to make an impact and to preserve a certain amount of safety. → Right now, I’m honoring the need for sane, safe actions in dangerous situations. My value remains alive and well inside me. I’ll watch for times to speak out. And I will be selective.”)

Your turn. What is one small, yet aligned action you can take now to stand in your integrity? Take it. Keep it small and achievable. Doing one small thing is better than doing nothing. Over time, one small thing at a time adds up to a heap-o-making a difference.

Final ThoughtsIn uncertain times, it’s easy to freeze or go numb. But there is another way.

You can return to what is true for you. You can choose to renew your sense of integrity by revisiting your values.

And in doing so, you give yourself something most people are missing:
A way to lead your life from the inside out.

For more personal guidance on how to lead from the inside out in such tough times, schedule a free discovery call and let’s connect.

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Our Beliefs Go Deeper Than ThoughtHave you noticed that beliefs reach far beyond philosophy?

Let me show you what I mean.

Imagine you were conditioned early in life to believe you’re not good enough. You walk into a meeting and before you even speak:

• Your chest tightens
• Your voice softens
• Your ideas stay half-formed

No one explicitly told you to shrink in that moment. Yet the belief is already shaping your biology, your behavior, and your sense of self. Beliefs do this all the time.

And when something aligns with a belief you already hold, you can feel that too. Someone says something that resonates deeply, or you read words that reflect your worldview, and suddenly you feel seen, safe, and understood. Your nervous system relaxes. Your heart opens. The world feels brighter.

That’s why I say our beliefs go deeper than thought.As I shared in my last Guidepost, many of us may not be living lives we consciously chose. Instead, we often organize our lives around early environmental conditioning that became familiar enough to feel “true.” Over time, familiarity can begin to feel like destiny.

But recently, many people across the globe have found themselves questioning old patterns and inherited assumptions. We’ve been given an opportunity to ask:

“Are these beliefs actually mine?”

The Socialized Mind vs. The Self-Authored LifeI’ve had the privilege of studying directly under Robert Kegan and drawing from his Theory of Adult Development while writing my book. One insight from his work continues to stay with me:

• Approximately 58% of adults operate primarily from a “socialized mind”
→ taking cues from external systems, groups, and expectations

• Only about 35% develop into a “self-authoring mind”
→ consciously choosing beliefs and building an internal compass

Pause and let that settle in. Most people are not living from beliefs they intentionally examined and chose. They are living from beliefs they inherited.

And if we define a belief honestly, we might say this:

A belief is something we accept as true without being able to fully prove it.That realization alone should invite reflection.

Why would we organize an entire life around something we’ve never deeply examined? Why would we defend it, judge others through it, or build our identity upon it?

Yet this dynamic plays out inside us every day. Why? Because beliefs feel true.

And often they feel true simply because they were repeated, rewarded, reinforced, and normalized long enough to become part of our identity. But there comes a moment when “familiar” is no longer good enough.

A moment when we begin to say: “I want to live more consciously than this.”

A Moment That Can Change EverythingIf you’re ready to shift a belief, the process may begin with a simple pivot.

Instead of asking:

“Is this belief right?”

Ask:

“Is this belief truly mine?”

And if you want to go deeper, consider one belief you may be carrying and ask yourself:* Does this belief bring clarity or confusion? * Does it support my passion or suppress it? * Does it strengthen relationships or strain them? * Does it lead toward constructive behavior or destructive patterns? * Does it cultivate self-mastery or keep me reactive and blaming? * Does it create harmony or division? * Would I feel fully aligned sharing this belief openly? * Does it expand my life or limit it? * Does it help me grow or keep me stuck? * Does it stabilize me in a changing world?

Questions like these help us evaluate beliefs with wisdom instead of reactivity. They help uncover the quiet assumptions that may be unconsciously shaping our lives. And to be clear, I’m not suggesting you reject everything you’ve ever been taught. I’m advocating for your sovereign mind and soul.

A sovereign person can examine any belief, understand where it came from, and consciously choose whether to keep it, release it, or transform it with intention. That is how we begin to self-author a life that feels authentic, grounded, honest, and deeply aligned.

The Soul Sovereign coaching and healing work Annie and I offer through Soul Song Healing Guidance is designed for people who feel disconnected from themselves, stuck in old patterns, spiritually lost, or ready to reconnect with the deeper wisdom of their own soul.

If this feels like your moment to step out of confusion and into clarity, we invite you to complete our intake form and explore whether we’re a fit to walk this journey together. Book your 20 min discovery call here.

BibliographyBandura, A. — Social Learning Theory
Asch, S. E. — Studies of Conformity
Milgram, S. — Obedience to Authority
Deutsch, M., & Gerard, H. — Social Influence Research
Cialdini, R. — Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
Craven, S., Brown, S., & Gilchrist, E. — Sexual Grooming of Children
Lifton, R. J. — Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism
Lewandowsky, S., Ecker, U., & Cook, J. — The Post-Truth Era
Fanon, F. — Black Skin, White Masks
Said, E. — Orientalism
Ngũgĩ wa Thiong’o — Decolonizing the Mind
Lipton, B. — The Biology of Belief
Kegan, R. — The Evolving Self; In Over Our Heads
Kegan, R., & Lahey, L. — Immunity to Change

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How Beliefs Are Formed: Who Taught You What to Believe?We like to believe our convictions are our own.

What am I talking about?

Take, for instance:

• Our views on success
• Our opinions about politics
• Our sense of right and wrong
• Parts of our identity

We carry these beliefs and convictions around with us as if we authored them. And for some of our beliefs and personal philosophies, that would be correct. However, pick one or two beliefs and take this quick audit by asking yourself four questions:

Ask Yourself These Four Questions About Your Beliefs* Where did this belief come from? * Who might have been the first to model it for me? * Who might have repeated this belief to me over and over? * What system or entity besides myself benefits from me holding onto this belief?

If you’re honest, most of what you believe didn’t originate with you.

It was imprinted upon you.

In some cases, installed.

Please don’t panic if this realization makes you feel uncomfortable. This is part of being human.

Beliefs Were Shaped Before You Could ChooseFrom the moment you were born, you were immersed in influences from what I call the “big six”:

• Family
• Religion
• Education
• Culture
• Government
• Media

Did these systems ask for your consent? Did they wait for your critical thinking skills to mature before imposing beliefs and philosophies upon you? Or did they teach, model, reward, and reinforce what they expected you to adapt to and adopt as your own? Psychology calls this socialization.

In more uncomfortable language, I might describe what happened to me, and likely what happened to you, using these words:

• Conditioning
• Programming
• Grooming

For me, those words feel more honest and current. To be fair, I also want to acknowledge that not all early influence is harmful. I have a strong conviction toward integrity that I believe I was born with, and my family reinforced and modeled that well. Over time, however, my own definition of integrity departed from my family’s definition and evolved into something deeply personal.

Their definition included showing unconditional fealty to religion. Mine extracted itself free and clear from any formal religious system. For me, integrity means aligning as many of my actions as possible with my core values. My core values tell me whether I’m living aligned with my personal code of integrity. No outside source dictates that to me.

The Invisible Architecture of BeliefHuman beings are social learners.

We learn through:

• Imitation
• Belonging
• Trust

What most of us fail to acknowledge is that these same social structures that teach us how to love, cooperate, and succeed are also the very mechanisms that can quietly shape what we believe. And this often happens without our awareness.

While these elements are part of healthy development, they can also become tools of:

• Persuasion
• Propaganda
• Control

And what I find equally interesting, and perhaps a bit alarming, is that you and I don’t just hold beliefs from our childhood years. Sometimes our beliefs are holding us.

Why Belief Systems Feel Like TruthResearch shows we are deeply influenced by:

• What authority figures say
• What the group accepts
• What is repeated frequently
• What triggers emotion such as fear, pride, and belonging

In today’s world, those forces are amplified by algorithms, media, and constant exposure. This means that over time, what feels familiar can become our truth. What we hear repeatedly can begin to feel like certainty. And when we don’t examine our beliefs, belonging to certain groups can quietly become agreement.

Before long, we may find ourselves defending ideas we never consciously chose.

Are Your Beliefs Actually Yours?That question matters more than most people realize.

Do these beliefs belong to me?

Or were they inherited?

Installed?

Rewarded?

Conditioned?

And if they no longer feel true for you, are you willing to let them go?

Part Two: How Beliefs Become Embedded in the Nervous SystemI’m going to stop here and let these ideas simmer on the back burner of your mind.

In my next Guidepost, I’m diving deeper into this concept because what we’re talking about isn’t purely philosophical. It’s biological. It involves neurochemicals.

Our beliefs are not abstract ideas floating around in our minds. They become embedded in the nervous system. And that’s one reason changing them can feel so difficult.

If You Want Support Exploring This FurtherIf this article sparked questions about your own beliefs, identity, relationships, or personal sovereignty, here are a few ways you can continue exploring.

Book a 20-Minute Discovery Call If you’re ready to examine the beliefs shaping your life, relationships, identity, or decisions, fill out my intake form and let’s connect for a 20-minute conversation. Fill out our coaching intake form here to get started.

Read the Related BlogMy life partner has written a complementary piece that explores similar themes from another perspective. If you’d like to go deeper, you can read that article here.

Read My BookIf you prefer to explore these ideas privately and at your own pace, my book dives deeper into belief systems, identity, and self-authorship. I recommend starting with Chapter 3 and Chapter 6. Buy it here.

Watch My TEDx TalkThis talk may help you begin listening more closely to your own inner wisdom, your heart, your instincts, and your inner knowing instead of constantly taking cues from external systems. Watch it here.

Explore the ResearchIf you enjoy diving into the psychology and research behind these ideas, review the bibliography below and choose one resource that feels relevant to you right now.

BibliographyBandura, A. Social Learning Theory — How we learn behavior and beliefs through observation.

Asch, S. E. Studies of Conformity — How group pressure shapes belief and behavior.

Milgram, S. Obedience to Authority — Why people follow authority, even against their judgment.

Deutsch, M., & Gerard, H. Social Influence Research — Normative (belonging) and informational (trusting others) influence.

Cialdini, R. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion — The science behind persuasion, repetition, and authority.

Craven, S., Brown, S., & Gilchrist, E. Sexual Grooming of Children — Research on grooming dynamics and influence patterns.

Lifton, R. J. Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism — How belief systems are shaped in high-control environments.

Lewandowsky, S., Ecker, U., & Cook, J. The Post-Truth Era — How repetition and misinformation shape belief.

Fanon, F. Black Skin, White Masks — The psychological impact of cultural and colonial influence.

Said, E. Orientalism — How systems shape identity and worldview.

Ngũgĩ wa Thiong’o. Decolonising the Mind — Language and culture as tools of belief formation.

Lipton, B. The Biology of Belief — How beliefs influence biology and subconscious programming.

Kegan, R. The Evolving Self; In Over Our Heads — Adult development and the shift to self-authorship.

Kegan, R., & Lahey, L. Immunity to Change — Why we resist changing even when we want to.

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Carry the Torch: Why Change Doesn’t Come From HeroesMany people today are searching for a modern-day hero, someone powerful enough to step in and fix things.

It’s tempting to imagine superheroes, outsiders, or larger-than-life figures bringing justice, unity, and peace.

But history tells a different story.

Real change doesn’t come from a single hero.

It comes from ordinary people who choose to carry a torch.

What Does “Carry the Torch” Mean?The idea of carrying the torch is simple but powerful:

Each generation must take responsibility for moving a better vision of the world forward.

This concept has deep roots in democratic movements throughout history. It reflects the belief that freedom, equality, and progress are not guaranteed, they are maintained by participation.

Historian Heather Cox Richardson often emphasizes that democracy survives when individuals take responsibility for protecting it. In other words, democracy is not a spectator sport.

Why We Can’t Wait for a HeroIt’s easy to believe that someone else will step in:

• A leader
• A movement
• A moment

But when people wait, progress stalls. When individuals act, through courage, integrity, participation, or simply telling the truth, the torch stays lit.

A better future isn’t built by one person. It’s built by many people showing up consistently in small but meaningful ways.

Real-Life Examples of People Who Carried the TorchHistory is full of individuals who didn’t set out to be heroes but became catalysts for change through action.

Rosa Parks: A Quiet Act That Sparked a MovementIn 1955, Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on a segregated bus in Montgomery, Alabama. She didn’t plan to become a symbol of the Civil Rights Movement. She simply acted with dignity and courage in a single moment.

That moment helped ignite the Montgomery Bus Boycott and became a turning point in American history. She carried a torch, without knowing how far its light would reach.

John Lewis: A Lifetime of “Good Trouble”As a young activist, John Lewis helped lead marches for civil rights, including the historic Selma to Montgomery march. He was beaten by police on what became known as Bloody Sunday in 1965. And yet, he continued. For decades.

Lewis often spoke about making “good trouble”, standing up for what is right, even when it’s difficult. His life reminds us that carrying the torch is not a single act. It’s a long-term commitment.

The Point of the TorchThe idea of carrying the torch reflects something deeply foundational:

Freedom and progress depend on participation.

When people wait for others to act, the light fades.

When individuals step forward with courage, honesty, and effort, the light continues.

The torch doesn’t require perfection. It requires presence.

Questions to Ask YourselfIf you want to carry the torch, start here:

• What act of courage will I take today?
• How will I help create a better future?
• Where can I live with greater integrity?
• Where am I avoiding the truth?

These aren’t abstract questions. They are daily decisions.

Practical Ways to Carry the TorchYou don’t need to change the world overnight. You just need to participate.

Here are a few ways to start:

1. Choose a CauseIdentify something you care about:

2. Voting rights

3. Climate change
4. Equality

5. Economic opportunity

6. Learn and Follow Voices You TrustFind credible voices, educators, or advocates who align with your values.

7. Take Small, Consistent Actions* Sign petitions

8. Contact representatives
9. Attend events

10. Support organizations

11. Share What You’re DoingYour actions can inspire others to act. Momentum grows when people see participation.

Final Thought: The Torch Is WaitingHistory moves forward because people decide to step in.

Not perfectly.
Not all at once.
But consistently.

The torch is there.

The only question is:

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Fire Horse Energy & Personal Leadership CommitmentIf you’re feeling a pull toward something more powerful, more honest, and less contained, this may be why.
The Fire Horse energy of 2026 invites a deeper form of leadership, one guided by your inner authority, not external expectations.

We’re in the year of the Fire Horse, and for me, this has prompted many, many moments of reflective action, and I have noticed something important:

My power will only be at its greatest when I focus on an unbridled, unharnessed version of myself. A version guided by the deeper intelligence of my soul, my inner authority.

2026 is, for me, a year where deliberate choices are made based on what I’m unbridling and setting free. Specifically, these 365 days are framed as an opportunity to act fueled by the power of a fire within.

I’m trusting that…

My Fire Horse knows where to run.
It knows how to move.
It knows when the moment is right.

My job is to allow it to be set free and listen wisely when inner guidance is at play.

If you are working deliberately with Fire Horse energy this year, what would your job be as you employ its power?

What Fire Horse Energy RepresentsIn the Chinese Zodiac, the Horse represents freedom, movement, independence, and personal power. When paired with the element of Fire, those qualities intensify.

The Fire Horse appears only once in a 60-year cycle.

The last time this combination occurred was 1966.

Interestingly, in Japan that year birth rates dropped dramatically. There was a superstition that girls born in a Fire Horse year would grow up to be too strong, too independent, too difficult to control.

In other words, they would be too powerful to contain.

Whether or not one subscribes to zodiac traditions, I find the symbolism fascinating.

I believe the deeper invitation behind the Fire Horse archetype is this:

Where in your life is your spirit too strong to be contained?

That is a question I’m asking myself daily and then aiming action in that direction.

Where Your Power Refuses to Be ContainedThis year I’ve been asking myself:

What is in me that refuses to be controlled?
What in me is too strong to be contained?

The answers are multi-faceted.

But one clear expression has emerged.

Expressing Fire Horse Energy Through Your WorkThe work I’m doing through SoulSalt, the Soul Authority leadership coaching program, and the joint work Annie and I are developing around Soul Sovereignty are bold expressions of that Fire Horse energy inside me.

They are expressions of the part of me that refuses to live a smaller life.

These programs are big, bold and are making an authentic impact in the lives of self-selected individuals.

While Soul Authority is all about taking control of your health, career, mindset, and success all in a year’s time, Soul Sovereignty is about reclaiming self and redefining one’s spiritual foundation.

One is for high-impact leaders who are getting back into the driver’s seat of their lives. The latter is for individuals who are facing a personal awakening or crisis in faith or wanting to recover from spiritual trauma.

Both are outcomes of me answering the two questions above.

How to Apply Fire Horse Energy in Your LifeHow can you apply the use of these two questions in your life?

Supporting Others to Ride Their Fire HorseIn coaching sessions and free webinars held this year, my intention is to support others to tap into their own version of this Fire Horse energy.

Together, many individuals and I will explore how to listen to inner guidance through the filter of their own take on this topic.

If you’d like to talk about this topic further, fill out a leadership coaching intake form to have a private conversation, or watch for future emails about the upcoming free webinars.

Key Takeaways* Your power expands when you stop containing it * Fire Horse energy invites bold, self-led action * Inner authority is more reliable than external expectations * The question is not if you are powerful, but where you are holding it back

FAQs About Fire Horse EnergyWhat is Fire Horse energy?
Fire Horse energy represents independence, power, and movement guided by inner truth.

What does Fire Horse energy mean in leadership?
It points to leading from inner authority rather than external expectations or control.

How do I apply Fire Horse energy in my life?
Start by identifying where you feel constrained and take aligned action toward what feels true and expansive.

“The Fire Horse reminds us that sovereignty begins the moment we trust the fire of our own soul more than the expectations of the world.”
— Lyn T. Christian

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When Things Fall Apart, Build Something NewIn Guidepost 15, we acknowledged a simple truth: Every superhero has their own version of kryptonite. If we want to live from our strengths, we must also mitigate against our weaknesses and manage our pseudo strengths—those energy-draining dynamics we’ve often confused for something else.

And, there’s more.

Once you’ve identified your superpowers—the talents that energize you, align with your values, and let your power shine—it’s time to ask:

Where does the world most need me to shine?Because here’s the thing:
So much of what we once trusted—governments, institutions, communities—is fractured. Torn. Even broken. And while this current climate could lead us to despair, it could also present us with an opening. Yes, even an opportunity. This could be the moment to seize the day by noticing not what is broken, but what new territory has just opened.

Where can you see a need to help build a brighter future?Where do you have a desire to help us rise from the ruin?I’m standing firm to the notion that in the rubble of what’s crumbled, we get to build again. The current situation is both untenable and temporary. It is also quite revelatory.

Today more than ever I believe we get to, and would be wise to ask bold questions:

• What kind of leadership do we want to see? And where can we go out and build that within ourselves?
• What kind of communities do we want to belong to? When and where can we start building that sort of community?
• What kind of futures do we want to shape? Are you willing to envision that this is exactly what we can begin to shape today?

I’m convinced that this isn’t an abstract concept. What I’m presenting is intended to be more of a personal call to rise above and play bold.

You Know That This Time Things Are PersonalYou’ve likely already felt it—the tug in your chest, the whisper in your ear. Maybe you have sensed an “I can help with this” moment. That tug, whisper, or sensation is your soul’s compass, and it’s pointing toward the space where your strength meets a genuine and relevant need. In my book, SoulSalt: Your Personal Field Guide to Confidence, Purpose and Fulfillment, I designate the act of dreaming and visioning new possibilities a vital part of having a Possibility Practice.

In terms of today’s fragile environments, you could start your own version of this by asking:

• Where do I see something broken that I care enough to fix?
• Where do I feel called to build what hasn’t existed before?
• Where do I feel heartache, and know I could be part of the healing?

For some of you, that’s enough. That’s all you need to now and you can start there. That’s your frontier. That’s your possibility space. For others you may want to apply the idea of such a practice in a smaller space. Maybe, drop down into your own personal life.

Here’s what I mean, several years ago I started attending fencing classes. I could commit to once a week and that was it. So, I joined the beginner class made up mostly of 8- and 9-year-olds. I’m not too proud to admit that these kids beat me in open fencing more times than not until I acquired a few vital skills.

Note, I was happy to learn at a slow pace because fencing had been on my “someday” list since I was in 6 th grade. Approaching my 60 th birthday gave me a chance to brush off that list and start taking some of the ideas into action. And, my schedule at the time could only accommodate one lesson a week. Success was measured in showing up, one lesson, one week at a time.

After about 18 months, I had gained enough skill and opened up more time in my life to attend even more classes and practices. Today I have been fortunate enough to have won local, regional and national medals. The potential was inside me. I simply had to start small and work up.

Now, let’s apply this method to your life. Think about a few items floating around on a “someday I want to….” list. Even if that list exists only in your own head. What do you find there? Jot down at least three things that exist on your “someday” list.

If you just named three things, you’ve started your own Possibility Practice.Keep that momentum going and answer the following questions:

• What is one dream or desire you hold in your heart that wants to happen before you pass on?
• What is one area of the world for which you wish you could make a positive impact?
• What is one cause that you’d be willing to join in order to make a difference?

My Invitation to YouWhat I’m inviting you to do—with your strengths, your time, your wild and precious energy—is to live in the realm of possibility just a little more boldly. Why? Because the benefits aren’t just theoretical.

The Make-A-Wish Foundation reports that when people connect to a dream, they experience:

• A surge in positive emotions
• Confidence instead of fear
• Hope replacing anxiety
• Joy edging out sadness

Neuroscience agrees. When we dream and envision, we activate the most evolved parts of our brains—head, heart, and gut. This is where strategy meets courage, where identity fuels motivation.

So here’s the invitation:Point your superpowers toward possibility. Not just for yourself, but for the future we all share. Because this is what real leadership looks like now. Not performative. Not power-hoarding. But soul-aligned. Generative. Brave. And yes—absolutely necessary.

The world doesn’t just need more critics or bystanders. It needs builders. Re-imaginers. Possibility practitioners. And that means you.

So tell me …

What will you build, brave one? And where can I cheer you on?

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Dear Superhero, Beware of Your KryptoniteIn Guidepost 14, we explored how to identify your Superpowers—the unique strengths that energize you, align with your values, and help you lead with authenticity. Without recognizing these, your greatest gifts will be compromised.

And make no mistake—this matters more than ever. Because no superhero is coming to save the day. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

The world is aching for courage, for clarity, for people willing to rise in their strength. That’s why it’s time—right now—for you to step forward, fully powered, and help shape what comes next.

But there’s a catch.

Even superheroes have weaknesses.
Even you, with all your brilliance, must watch for your own version of kryptonite.

To truly live from your Superpowers, you must understand two things that can block ordrain them:1. Your weaknesses — the traits or tendencies that consistently trip you up.
2. Your pseudo strengths — the things you’re good at, even praised for, but that slowly hollow you out.

Without recognizing these, your greatest gifts will be compromised.

Kryptonite #1: Unmanaged WeaknessesPsychologist Dr. Thomas Chamorro-Premuzic argues that the biggest threat to high performers isn’t lack of talent, it’s a lack of self-awareness. What he and I have come to learn is that unchecked weaknesses can sabotage careers, relationships, and purpose. In short, our superpowers only go so far before we’re held back by unmitigated weakness.

That’s not an invitation to obsess over your flaws. It’s a call to manage them strategically. Here’s how:

• Build systems that prevent missteps.
• Create feedback loops that keep you grounded in how well you mitigate weaknesses.
• Adjust environments so your weaknesses don’t get center stage.
• Craft strategies to manage your weaknesses and keep them in check so your strengths can shine.

Keep in mind that you don’t need to “fix” every weakness. You need to keep it from taking the wheel.

Why Weaknesses Are Dangerous:Many of us have been told that to be strong, we must turn our weaknesses into strengths. This has become known, in the area of Positive Psychology, as a huge myth and a waste of time. Weaknesses will never become strengths. Our job is to work to manage them once we know what they are. We must be wise to only manage to a certain degree. Weaknesses will drain our energy, time, and talent if we spend too much effort focusing on them.

Audit your Weaknesses:Take a moment now to answer these questions. They are crafted to assist you to identify weaknesses. And trust me, we all have them. Most of us, if we’re honest, are painfully aware of our weaknesses. Perhaps even more aware of them than we are, our Superpowers.

1. What tasks or projects are things you know you have very little talent for?
2. What are you doing when you know, no matter how much you try, you can’t improve your ability to perform the task to become world-class?
3. What are you doing when you feel weak, drained, and less competent than you want to?
4. What are you doing when you know you can improve, but only to a limited extent?

Keep your notes for later. I’ll ask you to take action before we wrap up this Guidepost. You may choose to mitigate against a weakness in order to allow your Superpowers to shine.

Kryptonite #2: Pseudo StrengthsPseudo strengths are trickier than weaknesses. They look like strengths from the outside. You might even build a career or reputation with them. But inside? They drain you.

These are skills or roles where you excel… but feel:

• Exhausted
• Disconnected
• Like you’re performing instead of living

You may be rewarded for staying calm under pressure, fixing problems, or being the go-to rock for others. But if these don’t light you up, they’re not true Superpowers—they’re Pseudo Strengths. And using them to an excess is a primary cause of burnout. Yes, burnout.

Why Pseudo Strengths Are Dangerous:1. They keep you stuck. You resist leaving a role that everyone says you’re “so
good at.” 2. They feed you false information. You’re succeeding, but it doesn’t feel
authentic or satisfying. 3. They block your real strengths. There’s no room left for what restores and
excites you. There’s no room to excel.

A Mini-Audit: Is This a Pseudo Strength?Take 15 minutes. Grab a journal. Let’s go inward.

Step 1: Identify Your “Rewarded but Drained” Potential

List 3–5 things you’re regularly praised or relied on for. Then ask:

• Do I enjoy this or just endure it?
• Do I feel energized or depleted afterward?
• If no one expected this of me, would I still choose it?

Note: If your honest answer is, “I’m just good at it, but I’d quit tomorrow if I could”—flag it.

Step 2: Notice A Potential “Performer Mask”

Fill in the blanks:

• I often show up as ____________ to earn approval or keep the peace.
• I’ve built a reputation around ____________, but it doesn’t reflect my true self.
• The part of my day that feels the least like “me” is ____________.

Step 3: Ask Your Body

Your body knows what drains you. Reflect:

• What tasks make your shoulders tense or breath shallow?
• Where do you feel dread or numbness, even when succeeding?
• What feels like obligation rather than choice?
• What feels like if you have to do this for the rest of your life you’ll burnout?

Step 4: Craft a Permission Slip

“I give myself permission to loosen my grip on ____________________, even though I’ve been praised for it.”

Note: Your energy level matters more than your performance level when identifying Pseudo Strengths.

Action: What Now?

Choose one insight and turn it into action:

• I acknowledge this as a weakness/pseudo strength: _____________
• It shows up most when: _____________
• It impacts me and others by: _____________
• Instead of “fixing” it, I will:
  • Delegate or co-create around it
  • Set firmer boundaries
  • Build a “just enough” level of skill
  • Minimize its exposure
  • Let go of pretending it’s a gift

Let’s Bring This One Home:It’s not enough to know your strengths.
You must guard them. Nurture them. Free them from the grip of what depletes you.

Weaknesses don’t need to be fixed. Pseudo strengths don’t need to be clung to. But both must be faced—honestly, courageously—if you want to live and lead with integrity and power. The real danger isn’t that you’ll fall short.

It’s that you’ll succeed at the wrong things and slowly lose yourself in the process.

So, here’s the invitation:Choose power over performance.
Truth over praise.
Vitality over approval.

Because the world doesn’t need another burned-out hero. It needs you—fully alive, fiercely aligned, and strong in the right places.

In the next Guidepost, we’ll dive into how you can find your version of these “right places.”

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The world needs heroes. And guess what? One of them is you.Right now, with everything going on around us, it’s tempting to wish we could call in the superheroes—those magical, unstoppable forces who could save lives, calm chaos, and pull us back from the brink.

Imagine partnering with someone who’s a magical genius, super strong, flying an invisible craft. Or someone who’s maxed out human strength, stamina, and resilience—and carries an indestructible shield.

You probably know who I’m talking about—Wonder Woman and Captain America.

But there’s someone else I’m talking about, too.
You.
You have powers.
Real ones.
Maybe you’re only just beginning to realize, or maybe you’ve forgotten how powerful you are.

Here’s the thing:The world doesn’t just want you to show up with your Superpowers.
It needs you to. And no, I’m not talking about leaping tall buildings or outrunning bullets.

I’m talking about something even more rare: the real, authentic strengths that live inside you, the ones I define in my Field Guide:

• You’re naturally good at it.
• You love it.
• You can keep getting better at it.
• It fuels you instead of draining you.
• It helps you create meaningful impact.

Gallup® and Marcus Buckingham have been championing this for decades:
Your greatest edge—your real Superpower—comes from knowing, growing, and using your strengths.

When you do, you come alive.
When you don’t, life weighs heavier than it ever should.
It’s time to pick up your shield.
It’s time to fly.

So, How Do You Identify Your Superpowers?If you’re ready to excavate your personal Superpowers, here are three simple ways to
start today:

1. Tune into Your EnergyMarcus Buckingham, author of Stand Out, teaches that strengths reveal themselves not
   just through performance, but through energy.

So start noticing:

• Before an activity: What are you genuinely excited to do?
• During the activity: When do you lose track of time because you’re completely
  absorbed?
• After the activity: Does it leave you energized—or drained?

If a task or trait makes you feel stronger—even if you’re not “world-class” at it yet—it’s a
strength. (Pro tip: Talent can be built. Energy is your real tell when it comes to uncovering your
Super Powers.)

1. Track Your “Love It / Loathe It” MomentsTry Buckingham’s Love It / Loathe It inventory over the next week:

Love It: What lights you up?

Loathe It: What drags you down?

Then? Double down on the Love It list.

Tweak your life and work—one moment at a time—so you’re leaning harder into what strengthens you.

1. Dive Deeper with My BookIf you want a guided, hands-on adventure into excavating your Super Powers, head to Chapter 5 of SoulSalt: Your Personal Field Guide to Confidence, Purpose, and Fulfillment. It’s built with step-by-step exercises designed to help you find your truest strengths—the ones that light you up from the inside out.

Because here at SoulSalt, we don’t just help people optimize. We help you unearth what you were born to do.

And here’s what we know: Fulfillment doesn’t come from faking strengths.

It comes from aligning with what strengthens you—mind, body, and spirit. And right now, we need you strong.

We need you whole. We need you at your absolute best.

Why We Need You NowBack in November 2024, I hit a dark place. I was shattered by what felt lost, broken, and profoundly confusing. I’m talking about the deep fracture in our country, the kind that shakes your soul. But in the months that followed, a different kind of clarity emerged:

This is the moment for our individual inner truth to rise.The kind of truth that only shows itself when you flex your Superpower muscles.
This moment isn’t just about what’s been lost.
It’s about what hasn’t been built yet.
It’s about what still needs to be imagined, created, and brought to life.
This is a call to creative responsibility.

It’s an invitation to ask:* What is mine to strengthen? * What is mine to envision? * What is mine to build?

When heartbreak cracks us open, it also exposes the resilient heart that refuses to quit.
Let’s honor that.
Let’s let it fuel something new.

Coming Up NextThis is just the beginning.

This Guidepost kicks off a three-part series:

• In Guidepost 15, we’ll dive into the two counterbalances you already have that will help you unleash even more of your superhero moxie.
• Then, in Guidepost 16, we’ll build your Possibility Practice—drawing from my SoulSalt Field Guide to tap into your imagination, your dreams, and the hope still alive in your heart.

Stay tuned, my friend. You’re just getting warmed up. And the world is waiting for what you’re about to bring.

This Is a Time for Superheroes.Let’s wrap this first of the three-part series up with a reminder:

You have superpowers.
Real ones.
And the world doesn’t just need “someone,” it needs you.
So, pull your powers out.
Flex them.
Use them.
Because—let’s be clear—the future depends on it.

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The Case for Women Leading the WayIf we’re seeking a way through today’s political unrest—through the division, fear, and erosion of trust in leadership—we might begin by returning to something both ancient and revolutionary:

Supporting women to lead.In Sacred Quest: The Evolution and Future of the Human Soul, L. Robert Keck describes humanity as evolving through three spiritual epochs. Our current stage, he says, is a kind of spiritual adolescence—marked by ego, domination, and hierarchical control. But we’re in a chrysalis moment, poised on the edge of a transformation.

According to Keck we could exit the chrysalis and transform into spiritual adulthood: a time when power is shared rather than hoarded, when ego yields to heart, and when leadership is rooted in connection over control.

And if we can make it to that transformation, which isn’t guaranteed and is questionable at this moment, Keck suggests, this next chapter will resemble something we’ve seen before.

Through history, matriarchal and matrifocal societies have shown us an effective way to live. These cultures do not invert patriarchy; they replace domination with continuity, control with collaboration, and conquest with care. Power flows through relationships, not authority. Leadership is intuitive, intergenerational, and community rooted.

Think of the Mosuo of China, the Minangkabau of Indonesia, or the clan mothers of the Iroquois Confederacy. These are not just anthropological footnotes. They are models—living reminders that when women lead, societies can thrive.

Even in the animal kingdom, we see this wisdom. Bison herds are matriarchal, led by experienced females who decide when to move, when to rest, and when to face the storm. These matriarchs protect the young, maintain the social fabric, and ensure the herd stays together—strategically, steadily, and with wisdom earned through time.

We can learn from that.

Research Makes the Case ClearSupport for women in leadership isn’t just philosophical—it’s practical and well-documented:

• Healthcare: A BMJ Global Health study found that female leadership in healthcare improves innovation, financial performance, and patient outcomes—largely due to transformational, inclusive leadership styles.
• Workplace Culture: The American Psychological Association reports that women in leadership enhance collaboration, fairness, and employee engagement.
• Corporate Profitability: A Peterson Institute study found companies with 30% female leadership were 15% more profitable than those without.
• Leadership Competence: A Forbes-reported meta-analysis shows women often score higher in leadership skills such as results-driven focus, integrity, and communication—debunking outdated stereotypes.

I’m not alone in my thinking on this topic. If we channel a few of our female Icons, we might hear them tell us:

Brené Brown might remind us:“Daring leaders who live into their values are never silent about hard things.”
If we want change, we must name the barriers, call out bias, and make space for women to lead—especially when it’s hard.

Mel Robbins would say:“You don’t need anyone’s permission.”
Support women now. Introduce them. Promote them. Share their work. Push the damn button.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg famously said:“Women belong in all places where decisions are being made.”
She might add: Take the step. Make the hire. Offer the platform. Create the opportunity.

What would you say about this topic? Tell us on social media and tag SoulSalt Inc. or myself so I can read your idea.

Here is my idea. How about we find inspired, Power Vs Force, Inclusion Vs Exclusion minded females. Once we find them, we support them. Elevate them.

Here is how to do that.

How to Support Women Leaders (Backed by Research)1. Sponsor Them – Not just mentorship. Advocacy opens doors.
(Center for Talent Innovation) 2. Make Work Flexible – Parental leave and flexible hours retain leadership potential.
(McKinsey & Lean In) 3. Interrupt Bias in Real Time – Speak up when bias shows up in meetings or hiring.
(Harvard Business Review) 4. Invest in Women-Centered Leadership Development – Safe spaces build skills and confidence.
(Catalyst & Deloitte) 5. Redefine Leadership Itself – When we stop seeing dominance as a strength, more women rise.
(Zenger/Folkman)

We are living through a turning point—a Guidepost moment.

If we want a world with less strife, we must invite more women to lead us forward.
Not just in politics, but in boardrooms, classrooms, movements, and communities.

We must listen to them. Fund them. Elect them. Mentor them. Sponsor them. Stand beside them.

This is not about flipping the system from patriarchy to matriarchy.
It’s about evolving beyond domination altogether—toward a new epoch of shared power, heart-led decisions, and collective progress.

Let this be our guidepost: The future will thrive when women lead—and when we all rise with them.The post Be an Inspired Badass: Guidepost 13 appeared first on SoulSalt.

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The Steady Power of Stability – Lessons from Bison and the Human HeartI sat down this morning to meditate with my sweetheart and immediately she could tell something was off. Ever have those times when you don’t feel like yourself, but you don’t take time to notice until someone points it out?

That was me.

Pausing because of her gentle inquiry, “How are you this morning?” Helped me realize that I didn’t feel grounded.

In a world where change is the norm, where extreme advances in most arenas (both beneficial and not) is accelerating, I am finding myself treasuring stability.

Stability is something I’ve found to be a powerful force for resilience, growth and life-leadership.

When I think about stability, I take my cue (once more) from the mighty bison.

Bison: A Living Metaphor for StabilityBison are built to stand strong and true, to be balanced within all types of environments and all sorts of weather. Their massive frames, low centers of gravity, and thick hides help them withstand fierce winters and harsh terrain. When threatened, they don’t always flee—they stand their ground. They stay stable.

Additionally, bison are not solitary giants. They move as herds, forming protective circles around their young, following wise matriarchs, and they embody a calm, collective intelligence. Their strength is both personal and communal.

I turn to the bison once more to remind us that stability is not just sturdy stillness. Stability is a function of being grounded – connected to the ground under our feet and to other critical individuals in our herd. Stability is basic to living effectively. It gives us the capacity to access the best inside us and to gain momentum.

Why Does Lyn Use a Bison Metaphor?I turn to this huge creature for inspiration and to act as a totem. In my book Soul Salt Your Personal Field g Guide to Confidence, Purpose and Fulfillment, I talk about how symbols, memes, totems and the like increase our positive emotions and support us to cope and deal with hard things.

I turn to the bison because they are a living, breathing example that says, “We don’t have to live in a constant state of reactivity. When we stabilize ourselves and our communities, we unlock numerous treasures.”

Let me list just five of these:

• Emotional clarity – Less reactivity, more peace.
• Confidence and self-trust – You know what matters, and you live it.
• Stronger relationships – Stability builds trust and deepens bonds.
• Energy for growth – When life isn’t in constant crisis, creativity blooms.
• Better decisions – From a calm center, you make clearer, values-aligned choices.

By now, you might be wondering how to gain the stability of the Bison. And I’d like to share three ways to steady yourself on stable ground:

Grounding RitualsSimple habits like morning journaling or quiet walks, meditation or spiritual practices can create emotional anchors. These anchors help your body know: I’m safe. I’m steady.

Clarify Your Core ValuesKnow your values and allow them to guide your choices. When we are clear on what we believe, we stop drifting and start leading our life with intention. With clear, authentic values we can say “Hell yes!” to true priorities and “Hell no!” to the fluff and distraction.

Build Supportive StructuresBudgeting our finances, planning our weeks and days, putting boundaries into place—these aren’t limitations, they’re liberations. Structures offer strength and reduce friction. They help us meet our needs, feel self-efficacy and allow space to find clarity in purpose and priorities.Once we’ve worked to reinforce our own sense of self and stability, here are three ways to stabilize within our community.

Three Ways to Stabilize Within Community1. Foster Your Own Sense of Belonging
Create for yourself a space of psychological safety or retreat to such spaces. Find yourself frequenting coffee shops, meet-ups, gatherings, etc. where people feel seen and heard. 2. Share Resources and Wisdom
Whether it’s food, information, or time, shared support strengthens the whole. One person’s steadiness becomes everyone’s benefit. Where do you have extra or enough so you can give to another? Who needs your wisdom? How can you share your gifts and talents? Find out, then go give. 3. Lead with Consistency and Compassion
Be the one you can count on. Be your own best advocate. Be your own best support. Once we know how that feels, we can better show up for the world. Take that walk when you need it. Exercise when you’ve planned to. Eat well and nourish yourself. Then show up with compassion and consistency to be part of a group who needs and wants your contribution.

I would love to know how you’re taking the thoughts I’m sharing in these guideposts and moving them to action.

Please drop a line at info@soulsalt.com and let us know. Or comment over on the SoulSalt Inc. IG profile.

My Final Thought:Stability isn’t rigidity—it’s resilience. It’s the ability to stand your ground when you need to. It is your ability to stand with others when we need you.

It requires that we bend without breaking, to hold fast to what matters, and to walk through change without losing our center.

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Trauma: Self-Regulated, Clear-Minded, in a Politically Charged TimesLet’s start by defining trauma.

Trauma isn’t just derived from catastrophic events or life-threatening experiences. Trauma can be associated with experiences that overwhelm our nervous system, make us feel unsafe, powerless, or out of control. While we often associate trauma with personal crises, it also comes from prolonged stress, uncertainty, and the feeling that we are constantly under threat.

Have you felt prolonged stress, uncertainty, like you’re under threat and a bit of helplessness in response to what’s happening in the world? If so, you might be experiencing political trauma.

When our nervous system is stuck in a state like this, we don’t just observe what’s happening in the world—we absorb it. And when we are dysregulated, we are far more vulnerable to manipulation, disinformation, and emotional reactivity.

In a way, this kind of trauma can be a trap: a trap that messes with self-regulation, and clouds our sense of clarity. Instead of making informed choices, we become easy targets for political outrage, propaganda, and fear-based narratives. The more dysregulated we are, the more we react impulsively—often in ways that don’t align with our values or serve our long-term well-being.

So how do we step out of this cycle? Good question, and we’ll cover that answer momentarily.

First, let’s do a check-in and see if you’re experiencing signs of political trauma.

How many of these symptoms have you recently experienced? * Consistently feeling on edge or anxious about the state of the world * Reacting impulsively to news or social media debates * Struggling to focus, sleep, or maintain a sense of peace * Feeling hopeless, angry, or emotionally exhausted

If you experience two or more, be aware. Be aware that if we stay in this state for too long, we lose clarity and executive functions. Instead of engaging thoughtfully, we become part of the noise. We react rather than respond.

One way to avoid being a victim of political trauma is to self-regulate.

Self-regulation isn’t about putting our head under the covers and disengaging. Self-regulation is putting oneself in a position to choose how to engage. It is a method of reclaiming our ability to think critically, discern truth, see manipulation for what it is. It is a means of taking meaningful action. It is a way to be sovereign in your own skin with inner peace running the show versus fear and rage ruining your life.

Here’s how to strategically set yourself up to better manage things before you dysregulate and get trapped:

Manage Your Inputs—Not Everything Deserves Your AttentionBe intentional about how much news and social media you consume. Doomscrolling fuels anxiety.

Choose sources that inform rather than enrage. Sensationalism sells, but clarity empowers.

Balance political content with things that nourish your mind and spirit.

Recognize Your Emotional TriggersNotice when a headline or conversation sparks a strong emotional reaction.

Ask yourself: Am I triggered by reality, or am I caught in a cycle of fear and reaction?

Focus on What You Can ControlChannel frustration into action: vote, advocate, support causes that align with your values. Remember, you don’t have fix everything. Pick one or two causes and stay in your lane.

Build local and personal resilience—change starts in communities, not just in headlines.

Prioritize Mental and Emotional Well-BeingMake space for joy, creativity, and rest—activism without restoration leads to burnout.

Connect with people who uplift and challenge yu onlou in productive ways.

Get support when needed—coaching, therapy, or a spiritual practice can help re-center you.

Now, let’s talk about five ways to self-regulate when you find yourself reacting versus responding.1 – Five Things: As soon as you notice you need to gain composure, STOP! Look around you and find five different colors, four different shapes, three different textures, two things that are man-made, one thing that reminds you of an animal.

2 – Neurographic Art: Fall in love with this form of creativity called Neurgraphic art. It can take the edge off and engage you immediately with joy and comfort. Try it out using this quick tutorial.

3 – Meditate: You may only need 2 minutes to get back to a place of self-authorship and peace of mind. Find something like this one YouTube or Spotify. Or use your favorite meditation app.

4 – Four Square Breathing: Also known as box breathing, Four Square Breathing is a relaxation technique that involves counting and coordinating breaths in a specific pattern.

Here are the simple 7 steps:1. Find a comfortable seated or lying position. 2. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. 3. Inhale slowly for a count of four. 4. Hold your breath for a count of four. 5. Exhale slowly for a count of four. 6. Hold your breath again for a count of four. 7. Repeat this cycle for several minutes, or until you feel relaxed.

5 – Engage Your Physical Senses: Notice when you’re stresses or caught in a reactive mindset. PAUSE. Then notice something you can see with your eyes. Notice something you can smell. Pause to notice what you might be tasting in the moment. Listen to what you are able to hear. Be aware of what you feel on your skin.

Please try out the ideas above and find a few that work for you. Feel free to share this blog with others who you know might benefit.

Conclusion: Stay Clear, Stay StrongPolitical trauma is real, but we don’t have to let it control or trap us. By practicing self-regulation, we protect ourselves from manipulation, reclaim our ability to think critically, and engage with the world in ways that are productive rather than destructive.

In the words of my beloved partner: When we go into a trauma response, we open ourselves to manipulation and we are open to accepting messages that can brain wash us. – Ann Rene Drewry

Let’s apply her wisdom and self-regulate.

Self-regulation isn’t weakness—it’s power. It allows us to move through chaos with clarity, stand firm in our values without being consumed by fear, and take meaningful action rather than getting lost in the noise.The world doesn’t need more people acting out of fear. It needs steady hands, clear minds, and strong hearts. Be one of them.

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A “Newtral” Way Forward or A Neutral Way ForwardWhen I was a schoolteacher, I posted a theme in my classroom from Chapter 71 of the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu. It expressed a profound truth: believing we know everything is a form of illness, while recognizing our own ignorance is the path to wisdom and health. This idea aligns with the Taoist perspective that rigid distinctions between “right” and “wrong” create mental unrest, while embracing uncertainty fosters inner peace.

I find myself returning to that theme today as I reflect on the current social and political climate. Esoterically, I see us in a “Tower” moment metaphor from the Tarot. One that signifies upheaval, dismantling, and transformation. It is a moment in which the collapse of the human ego could be the key to our collective healing. And perhaps, it should be.

This dismantling of ego is not forced upon us—it is a choice. We face this choice whenever we remember that we are not meant to be mastered by ego, but to master neutrality.

The Power of NeutralityNeutrality is not passive, it is a potent force, especially in times of division. It does not come from apathy or detachment but from recognizing the limits of our own perspective. In today’s polarized world, cultivating neutrality is one of the most powerful ways we can regain clarity, compassion, and connection.

I see many of you who follow me and whom I follow—leaning in this direction. To support that shift, here are four ways to practice neutrality when the illusion of ego runs deep in political discourse.

1. The Ego Thrives on Polarity

At the root of division is the mind’s tendency to categorize—right vs. wrong, good vs. bad, my side vs. yours. This is the illusion of ego: the belief that our perspective is absolute while others are misguided or dangerous. But the Tao Te Ching reminds us that reality is fluid, not fixed.

The moment we become certain that our reality is the reality, we trap ourselves in a cycle of conflict. Let’s pause and ask: Where in our own thinking have we become rigid? Where are we mistaking certainty for truth?

1. Neutrality as a Path to Clarity

Neutrality is not avoidance; it is an intentional refusal to be consumed by the ego’s need to take sides. When we step beyond dualistic thinking, we access a deeper truth: all perspectives are incomplete, shaped by personal experiences and biases.

By practicing neutrality, we cultivate clarity—seeing beyond argument to the larger, interconnected reality. Where in our own lives can we open a dialogue with someone who sees things differently? Not to change them, but to understand them?

1. Releasing the Need to ‘Win’

So much of today’s political discourse is about dominance—who is right, who is wrong, who “wins” the debate. But the Tao Te Ching teaches that clinging to control is futile; the world moves as it will.

When we let go of the need to be “right” or to prove others wrong, we create space for genuine dialogue. Instead of defending positions, we can inquire, listen, and adapt—allowing new insights to emerge that would have been impossible in a battle of egos. Where in our conversations can we shift from debate to dialogue?

1. Flowing Instead of Forcing

Taoism suggests that true change does not come through force but through alignment with the natural flow of things. Instead of resisting opposing views, we can observe them without judgment, recognizing them as part of a larger, evolving system.

This doesn’t mean abandoning our principles. It means approaching differences with curiosity rather than hostility. Where in our relationships can we create flow instead of friction?

A New Way ForwardWhat if we let go of the illusion that one side is entirely right, and the other is entirely wrong? What if, instead of defending rigid identities, we embraced the complexity of human experience?

The Tao Te Ching reminds us that wisdom is not found in certainty but in openness. In a time of deep political division, neutrality and the dissolution of ego are not just acts of peace, they are acts of power.

Optional P.S.If you’d like to see an example of someone who is making a personal effort to be more neutral, to be a better listener, and to look for flow versus force, watch this. Recently Glenn

Kirschner made a career change. I applaud his efforts. https://youtu.be/VSZ8NGhUgH0?si=AEclRyuqrFPYeIgI

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Endurance: What’s in You During the DifficultIn my darkest moments and most challenging times, one constant has remained true for me. A handmade, engraved brick sits before me, speaking quietly to something I want to share with you today.

When I’ve been in a funk, when the world has felt as if it is falling apart, I’ve made it through not because of what’s happening around me—but because of what is in me during the difficult.

Yes, endurance suggests tolerating hardship, but for me, it’s something more.

Endurance isn’t just surviving difficulty—it’s about noticing and nurturing what is alive, vibrant, aware, and wise within us, especially when things get rough.When challenges arise, I double down on my rituals: meditation, prayer, stillness, and checking in with my spiritual guides and mentors. This is what I encourage each of us to do today: Enliven, enrich, or simply begin to cultivate a deeper spiritual sense of self. Connect with what inspires you at your core.

What Would Gandhi Say About Endurance?Mahatma Gandhi comes to mind as I reflect on these times of political and social turmoil. If he were here, I believe he would remind us that true endurance is rooted in nonviolence, truth, and self-transformation.

Here’s what I imagine he might say:

1. Resist with Nonviolence and Love“An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.”

Gandhi would firmly reject violence and retaliation, no matter the provocation. He would call for Satyagraha—the practice of nonviolent resistance—urging people to stand up for justice without hatred or harm. He would remind us that true power lies not in weapons or political dominance, but in moral integrity.

1. Be the Change You Wish to See“You may never know what results come of your actions. But if you do nothing, there will be no result.”

Rather than blaming leaders or institutions, Gandhi would tell each of us to look inward and take responsibility for our own role in shaping society. He would urge us to embody the values we wish to see in the world—kindness, honesty, courage, and service.

1. Seek Truth (Satya) and Reject Misinformation“Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth.”

Gandhi would warn against propaganda, misinformation, and fear-driven narratives. He would encourage people to seek truth through deep inquiry, ethical journalism, and critical thinking—rather than blindly following ideological camps. This reminds me of a quote often attributed to the Buddha: “Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”

1. Unite Through Dialogue, Not Division“Our ability to reach unity in diversity will be the beauty and the test of our civilization.”

Gandhi would remind us that diversity is a strength, not a weakness. Instead of demonizing those with different perspectives, he would advocate for constructive dialogue, mutual respect, and a willingness to see the humanity in the “other.”

1. Serve the Most Vulnerable“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

Rather than focusing on power or political victories, Gandhi would emphasize serving the poorest, the marginalized, and the oppressed. He would urge leaders to prioritize the well-being of all, not just the privileged few.

1. Live Simply and Ethically“There is enough for everyone’s need, but not for everyone’s greed.”

Gandhi would critique materialism, corporate greed, and excessive consumption, urging us to adopt simpler, more sustainable lifestyles. He would call for ethical leadership that prioritizes people over profit and community over self-interest.

1. Do Not Surrender to Hopelessness“You may never know what results come of your actions, but if you do nothing, there will
   be no result.”

In the face of turmoil, Gandhi would encourage resilience and hope. He would remind us that history is shaped by ordinary people choosing courage over complacency.

Final Thought: Be the LightGandhi’s message would be one of peaceful defiance, moral courage, and unity. He would challenge each of us to lead with love, seek truth, and commit to justice—without succumbing to hatred. His parting words might be:

“In the midst of darkness, be the light.”

So, my friends, be that light. But first, make sure the flame within you is burning strong.

P.S. – Join the Conversation

If this message resonates with you, I recently hosted a one-off spiritual gathering with the medium Page Powers, where we channeled wisdom together. If you’d like to watch the recording, you can find it here.

We’re still reflecting on whether to hold another similar event. If that’s something you’d be interested in, let me know—your input matters!

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Dirt Clods, Moving Mountains, Staying in Our LaneLately, people have been asking me how I’m coping with the latest executive orders and legislative attacks on trans and non-binary individuals.

The short answer? I’m fine. Because here’s the thing—these policies, these attempts to erase or invalidate us, are nothing more than dirt clods.

They may be thrown with force, but they crumble on impact. Being non-binary, being trans—these aren’t political debates or ideological stances. They are facts of life. You can’t legislate us away any more than you can outlaw gravity.

That doesn’t mean these dirt clods don’t make a mess. They harm real people in real ways—limiting access, spreading fear, and emboldening those who seek to do harm. But they do not, and cannot, define who we are. No law, executive order, or bad-faith argument can shake the truth of my identity.

So I stay planted. Rooted in who I am.I refuse to let my sense of self be dictated by someone else’s agenda. And I remind those around me: we are not fragile. We are not
temporary. We are not going anywhere.

Let them throw their dirt clods. We’ll keep growing. But resilience alone isn’t enough. Standing firm in who we are is essential, but so is recognizing when the real danger isn’t the dirt clods but the shifting ground beneath us. Here’s why:

I’m not as concerned about the dirt clods as I am about the maneuvers happening behind the scenes—actions that resemble a coup détat more than an administration. It’s easy to become distracted, to exhaust ourselves chasing after every clod hurled our way. But doing so only depletes our energy and diverts our focus from the more insidious threats.

We each have the power to make a difference, but we must be strategic.Instead of scattering our efforts, when you take a stand, choose a specific cause or “lane” and commit to it. Consider Michael Moore, for example. Through his podcast and writings, he continues to challenge political norms and advocate for progressive change. Currently, he’s ramping up his advocacy efforts—stay tuned.

Or take Belle of the Ranch, who publishes daily on her YouTube channel, offering insightful discussions from a Southern perspective for those tired of a lack of common sense. Her consistent content provides valuable perspectives and fosters informed dialogue.

Some of my clients are forming neighborhood response teams to support each other in times of need. Others write to their legislators, volunteer with activist groups, or donate money. Each action, focused and deliberate, contributes to the larger movement. We will burn out if we try to do all the things.

You don’t have to make a difference in every possible area. Find your lane and commit to it.

Here are five ways to identify your lane:1. Assess Your Passions: What issues ignite your passion? Where do you feel a personal connection or a strong desire to see change? 2. Evaluate Your Skills: Consider your strengths and talents. How can they be applied to support a cause effectively? 3. Research Needs: Look into various movements and identify where there is a significant need for support or where your contribution could have a substantial impact. 4. Reflect on Values: Align your chosen cause with your core values to ensure sustained commitment and fulfillment. 5. Start Local: Sometimes, the most impactful work begins in your own community. Identify local organizations or initiatives that resonate with you.

Together, we can move mountains. But first, we must each determine the tool we’ll use to join the collective effort.

Find your lane. Commit to it. The way forward isn’t to run in every direction—it’s to move with purpose. Stay with it.

Make sure you never miss a message from me. Sign up here to receive my Inspired Badass Guidepost message strait to your inbox.

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When did you take a stand?Have you found yourself in a crowd with your fist raised and your voice declaring personal truth?

Have you given time and energy for a soul-felt, heart-felt cause?

If not, there is no better time to do so than now. Now is the time to find something you genuinely believe in and want to support and then give a part of yourself to that.

It is not just a good idea; it is based on research as being good for you.

A study from the University of Buffalo found that when we express personal opinions and demonstrate our core values in action, even in the face of group opposition, we gain positive psychological experiences. The research assessed participants’ cardiovascular responses within those aiming to assert their individuality amidst disagreement. Those who experienced a state of “challenge,” in this manner gained benefits characterized by feelings of confidence and invigoration. Conversely, participants who sought to conform to a disagreeing group exhibited a “threat” response, associated with anxiety and discomfort

(Source: https://www.buffalo.edu/news/releases/2016/07/014.html)

Furthermore, self-advocacy—actively voicing one’s needs and boundaries—is crucial for personal empowerment. This sort of self-advocacy can go far to ensure that our needs are met. It fosters respect from others and prevents mistreatment. This is particularly important for marginalized groups who might face higher levels of mistreatment. Building self-confidence and setting healthy boundaries are vital strategies for effective self-advocacy.

(Source: https://www.verywellmind.com/self-advocacy-benefits-and-strategies-8697994)

Finally, let’s talk about advocacy. Advocacy (the act of offering public support) plays a pivotal role in promoting social justice and equitable change. By educating communities and influencing policies, advocacy helps dismantle stereotypes, dispel misconceptions, and foster empathy. This collective effort contributes to a more informed and compassionate society. When our society is better informed, educated and compassionate, we all have a safer space to live and grow within.

(Source: https://und.edu/blog/advocacy-in-social-work.html)

So back to the start of this guidepost: When did you take a stand? Is it time to do so? For your sake, for our sake, please step in. Be the bison heading into a storm; be your own version of an #inspiredbadass by taking action.

Your action need not be political. It need not be highly public. It does need to be personally potent for you. Take my friend Kyle Knowles as an example. Just before Christmas, he and I recorded an interview regarding his grief process. Kyle’s grief is a specifically painful brand of grief. He lost a cherished son to suicide.

Through nothing short of gritty courage and a full surrender to the pain, Kyle is now rising up and taking a stand for his son’s life, for his own life, and for the process known as grief.

In our interview, Kyle shared how grief is the other side of love. He discussed the importance of community and grieving together. And he took a stand for it being okay to NOT BE OKAY. It takes strength to feel our emotions.

You can watch and listen to our episode here.

It equally takes strength and courage to take a stand. And that is what I’m encouraging us all to do.

Here are 10 ideas of how you might get started on taking a stand today.

10 Steps to Help You Identify and Take a Stand1. Reflect on What Matters Most to YouThink about what matters most to you—education, equality, mental health, environmental sustainability, animal welfare, or another just cause that tugs at your heart. Where would your core values tell you to focus your efforts? 2. Become Aware of Everyday ChallengesPay attention to problems in your community or workplace that you wish were different—like bullying, lack of accessibility, or unsafe practices. 3. Educate Yourself on IssuesResearch causes that resonate with you—such as climate change, racial justice, homelessness, or public health—and understand how they affect people. 4. Notice What Sparks EmotionIdentify moments when you feel frustrated, inspired, or outraged by something you see, read, or hear. These feelings can point to issues you care about deeply. 5. Ask “Who Needs Help?”Think about groups or individuals who are overlooked, mistreated, or underserved—like children in need, underrepresented voices, or endangered species. 6. Look for What Aligns with Your SkillsConsider where your talents and resources can make a difference, such as fundraising, mentoring, advocating for policy changes, or raising awareness. 7. Talk to OthersDiscuss causes with friends, family, or colleagues to discover shared interests or hear about needs you hadn’t considered. 8. Start Close to HomeConsider causes in your immediate circles, like improving your neighborhood, addressing challenges at work, or supporting local charities. 9. Test Your CommitmentTry small actions in areas you care about—like signing a petition, donating to a cause, or attending a community meeting—to see what feels meaningful. 10. Follow Your HeartChoose a cause that aligns with your values and vision for the future and take a stand knowing even small actions can inspire big change. Let your choice be heart-felt and soul-felt.

I am jumping in with both feet on this challenge myself. And you are part of my effort. I am taking a stand every time I write one of these guideposts for you. And do you know what I’m standing for? I’m here to enliven and enlarge your vision of the Inspired Badass inside you. I’m here taking a stand for what you can do with that unique and personal Badassery of yours.

You’ve got this. I’ve got your back. Go out there and take a stand. Please check back in and let me know what you have chosen to do and how that has influenced your life and the lives of others.

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Fear is a powerful force that feeds stagnation, and it prevents many of us from pursuing opportunities.

But if fear is holding you back from living the life you envision, courage exercises can help.

The most rewarding decisions you will ever make—embarking on a new career path, going after your passions, starting a family—require facing your fears through acts of courage.

This means being bold despite your fears, stepping out of your comfort zone, taking risks, and facing challenges head-on.

Over time, bold decisions reinforce self-confidence, making it easier to approach future situations with certainty and poise. This mindset fosters personal growth by exposing you to new experiences and perspectives, while also inspiring others to take similar steps, creating a positive ripple effect.

The more you develop your boldness and courage, the stronger it gets, just like any muscle.

Below, I’m going to walk you through 10 practical exercises to develop courage and mental toughness so you can create the life you want.

1. Identify What Scares You
2. Describe Your Fears
3. Break Out of Your Routine
4. Do Something That Makes You Nervous
5. Pursue a Bold Act of Courage
6. Connect With a Mentor
7. Acknowledge Your Strengths
8. Embrace Uncertainty
9. Practice Vulnerability Courage Exercises
10. Celebrate Every Win, No Matter How Small

Originally published on February 10, 2020, this article was republished on May 16th, 2024.

1. Identify What Scares YouFear in all its forms—from slight doubts to debilitating anxieties—can make you feel uncomfortable. But it can also reveal a lot of useful information.

In some ways, fear can be healthy. Fear triggers your nervous system and the survival instincts that keep you safe from real danger. For example, there are good reasons not to walk down a dark alley at night.

Other kinds of fears are unhealthy. They can develop in response to trauma, stress, or negative experiences. If you go through a toxic relationship, for example, your fear may block you from trusting people and finding love again.

Many people fear not having enough, living with a scarcity mindset instead of an abundance mindset.

Fears can also reveal your core values and beliefs. You may feel afraid to start your dream company because you might fail. You get scared of public speaking because you might make a mistake. These fears show us an opportunity for courage.

For this exercise, make a list of every fear that you have.

By writing down your fears, you can identify which are healthy and which are holding you back from fully participating in your life. You can also reveal opportunities for growth, healing, and some goals that feel important, yet scare you.

1. Describe Your FearsResearch published in Psychology Today found that putting your feelings into words helps curb negative responses to fear. Voicing your fear doesn’t make you weak — it makes you more brave.

Rather than denying your fear, or minimizing it, speak openly and share the fears that are holding you back.

In this courage exercise, take the time to express your fears in detail — first by writing them down, and then by speaking with a supportive friend, coach, or mentor.

By describing exactly what you are afraid of, you are empowering yourself to act with courage in the face of even your worst fears.

1. Break Out of Your RoutineHaving courage isn’t easy. So if you want to make big changes, start small.

It might sound silly, but science shows how small controlled steps can develop the courage muscle that you’ll need for bigger challenges.

Make a tiny change to experience something unfamiliar.

Change up a habitual pattern such as brushing teeth with the opposite hand, finding a new route to work for three days in a row, or ordering a totally unknown menu item.

Small changes to break out of a comfortable routine are a way to practice experiencing discomfort, without taking any real risk.

1. Do Something That Makes You NervousWhen you let fear stop you from having fun, or expressing your individuality, it can add up to a life unlived. These are what I call medium-sized fears, the kind that lead you to avoid standing out, being seen, and connecting with people in an authentic way.

Take a medium-sized risk. Find something that makes you nervous, and do it anyway.

Wear that funky outfit, bold neck-tie, or bright lipstick. Talk to someone you’d love to meet but haven’t found the nerve to approach. Take a weekend trip to a city you’ve never visited and do it solo.

Who knows the opportunities that will come your way?

1. Pursue a Bold Act of CourageNow it’s time to advance to bigger, riskier activities.

First, I want to point out a distinction between acts of courage and doing something bat-shit crazy. The difference lies in what’s behind the action.

Courage means doing something bold, in line with your core values, in the presence of fear. Risks of this kind are an essential component of living with passion and purpose.

Taking a risk in life is an essential part of thriving and pursuing your long-term goals. Success is virtually impossible without taking any risks.

But bat-shit crazy is taking big risks when the motivation is bravado, ego, or simply showing off.

Remember the deep-rooted fears you identified in the first exercise? Refer back to them to identify ways to face one of those big fears, that will bring you closer to something you want in life.

Think of something big you’ve always wanted to do but felt too afraid, and begin steps to pursue it.

Because these are big moves, they are not accomplished in a single act. But you have to begin with the first step to put the whole thing in motion.

Here are some examples of how you might begin to pursue a big act of courage:

• Hire a career coach and work toward a big promotion.
• Find a competent therapist to begin healing from your most shame-based experiences or trauma.

• Visit a personal trainer and start training to run that half-marathon.

• Connect With a MentorMentors matter. People who work with an experienced mentor:

• Earn more money

• Receive a greater number of promotions
• Experience higher career satisfaction
• Feel more committed to their career
• Are more likely to believe that they will advance at work

As someone further along the journey, your mentor knows what it takes to achieve success. They can provide insight and awareness around an area of your life that could use a fully developed courage muscle.

Ask a mentor or coach to support you to fully clarify “that thing” which could use an adjustment.

Work with your mentor, a coach, or other safe individuals who can support you to assess the dynamic of your strengths and weaknesses and your desire to change. Hold regular accountability meetings with your mentor.

1. Acknowledge Your StrengthsResearchers found that people who understand and develop their strengths feel happier and less depressed, even at times when nothing goes right. But beyond helping you feel better, understanding your strengths gives you a courage boost.

Learning how to identify your strengths is a key factor in personal and career development.

When you acknowledge your skills, you are far more confident in your ability to succeed — and more willing to go all-in on those big acts of courage.

Create a list of your competencies that you can leverage, and identify weaknesses to work around.

This exercise can give you the confidence to flex your courage muscle and move past irrational fears. Working on what you’re already good at, instead of focusing on your weaknesses, also leads to more successes and reinforces motivation.

1. Embrace UncertaintyMaking big life changes can come with a lot of fear and uncertainty. Recognizing that uncertainty is part of the process, and not a reason to stop, can help you stay the course.

In William Bridges’ Transition Model, the time when you feel lost and unsure is called the Neutral Zone. It looks like this:

The exercise is simply to look at this chart, and identify where you are in your transition.

So when things feel scary and uncertain, you can remind yourself that fear is natural and normal when navigating new situations. It doesn’t mean you have to turn back or give up.

With the right strategies to refocus your life, unstable emotions shift into feelings of confidence and accomplishment — eventually boosting your motivation and leading to success.

1. Practice Vulnerability Courage ExercisesDo you blend in, conform, or hide your feelings out of fear of rejection?

This holds you back from experiencing a full life, expressing your creativity, and connecting with others authentically.

Research suggests that vulnerability is actually the secret to connection.

“We love seeing raw truth and openness in other people, but we’re afraid to let them see it in us. We’re afraid that our truth isn’t enough — that what we have to offer isn’t enough without the bells and whistles, without editing, and impressing.”

Brene Brown

For this exercise, I challenge you to practice any activity that allows you to show up and be seen.

Apply for the Ted Talk, write that book, attend that party, paint that portrait. These activities strengthen your courage muscle through transparency and vulnerability.

Accept that your raw truth is enough, without trying to edit or impress. Find a way to speak it, live it, and come out to it.

1. Celebrate Every Win, No Matter How SmallWhen you do something that requires courage, you deserve to celebrate. Harvard Business Review reported that those who celebrate small wins tend to succeed in the long run.

Whenever something scares you, and you make a courageous choice to do it anyway, congratulate yourself!

Hold regular accountability meetings with your mentor, coach, and team. Make sure to celebrate your victories. Reframe the low points as learning experiences. Keep at it.

When you make courage exercises a regular practice, you will have many reasons to celebrate — and you will see your life shift from fear to fierce!

So even if you’re afraid, put it all on the table. If you need support on how to begin to do this, give us a shout.

We’re in the business of courage. We’d be honored to support you.

The post Courage Exercises: 10 Ways to Practice Being Bold appeared first on SoulSalt.

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You’ve heard the phrase, “You are your own worst enemy.”

This can be true for many people. Stuck in scarcity mode, instead of embracing an abundance mindset, it’s hard to go after what you want in life. Patterns of negative self-talk like, “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t do that” hold you back from achievement.

What if you changed the record?

Living in abundance means seeing the endless potential in yourself and others. When you expand your perspective and develop an abundance mindset, you can open your life up to limitless opportunities.

This article will help you transform the fear and limited thinking of scarcity into positive messages that make you feel like you have what it takes — or that you will be able to figure out if you don’t.

Find out how to transform a scarcity mentality into an abundance mindset, and create the badass life you’ve been waiting for.

Originally published on September 28, 2020, this article was republished on May 13th, 2024.

What Is an Abundance Mindset?An abundance mindset means to see the limitless potential in life.

It means you can see the potential in yourself, and everyone around you. As a result, you intentionally drive yourself toward creating the life you want.

When I think of an abundance mindset, I think of these key traits:

• Thinking big: People with an abundance mindset tend to think big, rather than limit themselves to a bird’s-eye view of their circumstances.
• Growth mindset: Living in abundance means having a growth mindset — the belief that you can improve your intelligence and skills with effort, and you aren’t stuck with what you have.
• Optimism: The “glass half full” type of person, focusing on what they have, rather than what they lack.
• Knowing there’s enough to go around: Abundance thinking means seeing a limitless amount of resources such as love, money, and success. In other words, someone else’s success or advantage does not take away from your own.
• Generosity of spirit: They feel genuinely happy for other people’s success, rather than resentful.
• Embracing change: They accept and embrace change, rather than resist.
• Taking action: They take a proactive approach to life, by seizing opportunities and working toward their goals.
• Planning ahead: They plan for the future, rather than waiting around for things to happen.
• An open mind: A person with an abundance mentality keeps an open mind and continues to learn, rather than believing they already know it all.
• Know their strengths (and weaknesses): They have identified their strengths, then used these qualities to go after what they want. They accept their shortcomings rather than being limited by them.

Scarcity vs Abundance Mindset

You never get beyond scarcity. You have to start beyond it.

Tony Robbins

What Is a Scarcity Mindset?People with a scarcity mindset view the world through a zero-sum lens – what one gains, another loses.

This mentality confines individuals within walls of resentment, entitlement, stagnation, and victimhood. They see others’ success as their loss, leading to a cycle of negativity and isolation, and sabotaging their own goals by hoarding resources and competing instead of collaborating.

When you step outside of a scarcity mindset, you step into a world of endless possibilities. You realize your own strengths and develop them with confidence. You value yourself and, as a result, celebrate the value in others. When you want to see everyone succeed, you help others more readily.

This is what’s known as an abundance mindset – seeing a world of endless possibilities.

People with an abundance mindset develop their strengths confidently, value themselves, and celebrate the success of others, leading to a service-oriented attitude. This perspective fosters opportunities in all areas of life: career, relationships, family, and overall happiness.

Let me show you some concrete examples of how these two mindsets are different.

Imagine your company is growing and they put out some advertisements for recent job openings.

A scarcity mindset sees new job openings as a threat, leading to hoarding information and alienating colleagues, missing out on future opportunities. An abundance mindset, however, supports others, leading to mutual success and better networking.

In terms of money, a scarcity mindset fears financial insecurity, leading to tight money management and missed investment opportunities. An abundance mindset sees investment opportunities everywhere, fostering financial growth and the ability to share resources.

Why an Abundance Mindset Is Essential for SuccessSuccessful people tend to have a growth mindset.

Well-known psychologist, Dr. Carol Dweck, works as a researcher at Stanford University studying how self-conceptions drive human behavior. In her book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, she points out the two types of mindsets. Rather than a scarcity vs abundance mindset, she refers to them as a fixed mindset and a growth mindset.

What Is Fixed Mindset?People with a fixed mindset tend to view their intelligence and talents as something they are born with, which doesn’t change throughout their lifetime. They see their qualities as static traits, rather than something they can improve and develop.

What Is Growth Mindset?In a growth mindset, people believe that they can grow their intelligence and skills with time and experience. Because they believe in self-improvement, they put in extra effort toward learning and skill development, ultimately leading to greater personal and professional success.

Dweck conducted a study of students. She found that those with a fixed mindset tend to:

• Try hard to appear more intelligent
• Believe they were born with a fixed level of intelligence
• Avoid looking dumb, out of fear of criticism

Alternatively, people with a growth mindset tend to:

• Believe that through hard work and experience, they become smarter
• See the potential for personal development
• Challenge themselves to improve

You can see how someone with a fixed mindset would get stuck in their current situation. After all, if your intelligence is fixed, what’s the point in putting in hard work to improve yourself?

People with a growth mindset believe they have the potential to succeed. They accept challenges. They put in the time and effort to learn and build new skills. As a result, they welcome new avenues for success.

How to Grow an Abundance MindsetEven if you have trouble believing in yourself now, you can still develop a growth mindset with practice. Try these abundance mindset exercises to nurture your own strengths and support others in positive ways.

1. Recognize and Accept Your WeaknessesIf you have a scarcity mentality, you may tend to ignore your flaws and live in denial. You wallow in self-pity and never take steps to improve yourself. You suppress your insecurities. This can result in unhealthy patterns, like self-destructive behavior or acting out on others.

Recognizing your weaknesses in a healthy, compassionate way, gives you the opportunity to learn and grow. Then, you can put yourself on a path of self-development.

Embrase Your WeaknessBy embracing your weaknesses, you can forgive yourself when you make mistakes and learn from them — rather than beat yourself up, blame others, or spiral into negative thoughts and behaviors.

Of course, you don’t want to focus on your weaknesses and let them hold you back. But having a true picture of yourself, you develop a sense of self-awareness in which you recognize, and even embrace your shortcomings in a healthy way.

2. Nurture Your StrengthsEveryone has their flaws. But we also have our strengths. When you identify your personal strengths, you can nurture those aspects of yourself and shine.

Here’s How I Define a Strength:* A quality in yourself that you can grow and expand when you challenge it * Something you do well and enjoy doing * Something you do again and again and maintain an excellent track-record When you work hard at something you excel at, you will naturally succeed. Those achievements will help build inner confidence. You value yourself more.

You don’t feel threatened by the strengths in others when you feel secure in your own skin. This way of thinking supports living in abundance, as you recognize that everyone has something to offer.

3. Visualize Your PotentialVisualization means to imagine a future event. You develop a mental picture of achieving a goal or of your ideal self. It may sound woo-woo, but in fact, research shows that visualization is a powerful tool for success.

Russian scientists studied the link between visualization and success among a group of Olympic athletes. They split participants into four groups. Each took part in a different amount of mental training before competing, visualizing themselves crossing the finish line first, as follows:

• Group one: 100% physical training
• Group two: 75% physical training, 25% mental training
• Group three: 50% physical training, 50% mental training
• Group four: 25% physical training, 75% mental training

Researchers found that group four performed the best overall during the Olympics!

In his book, Your Brain and Business: The Neuroscience of Great Leaders, Harvard psychiatrist Srinivasan S. Pillay found that visualization stimulates the same brain receptors as when you actually perform a task. Think of it as a way to trick your brain into thinking you achieved a goal, before you even do it. Then when you actually go to do something, like take a big exam or go for an important interview, your brain will function better and know what to look out for.

To put this into practice, take some time out of your week to visualize what you want to achieve or the ideal version of yourself. Close your eyes or draw a picture of that event happening in your favor.

Ask yourself:

• What is possible?
• What could the most elegant and effective outcome look like?
• What would success look like?

Through visualization, you can imagine yourself living in abundance. Imagine yourself balancing your bank account, getting that promotion, or sharing a joyful home with your family. Dream big and trust yourself to achieve those dreams!

4. Recognize, Rewire, RepeatNegative thought patterns like feelings of scarcity, tend to develop from a young age. They become habitual and second nature. Perhaps you were told that success, financial security, or love were possible for other people — but not for you. Or perhaps you have a lingering fear of not having enough, because you didn’t when you were young and dependent.

Of course these beliefs will be hard to shake in adulthood.

Rewire Your BrainThe good news is that according to neuroscience, you can actually rewire your brain to develop more positive thought patterns through a process called neuroplasticity.

Try these abundance mindset exercises to transform thoughts of scarcity and train your brain to think positively:

Step 1: Recognize

Notice your inner dialogue. Pay attention to negative self-talk. It may help to take a week or two to log thought patterns. Each time you catch yourself in the scarcity mindset, write it down. You may notice certain situations or people that trigger those types of responses.

Step 2: Rewire

Now it’s time to replace the cycle of self-doubt with an abundance mindset. Transform negative statements into abundant thinking. Here are a few examples:

Scarcity mentality: “I don’t have enough time to accomplish what I want.”
Abundance mentality: “I will prioritize tasks with daily planning.”

Scarcity mentality: “I don’t have enough money to be happy.”
Abundance mentality: “I live within my means, look for new, creative ways to earn, and practice gratitude to appreciate what I have.”

Scarcity mentality: “I can’t do it.”
Abundance mentality: “I will leverage my strengths, work hard, and get better with time and effort.”

Step 3: Repeat

When you replace scarcity thoughts with an abundance mentality, you actually rewire your brain. As you make the habit of transforming negative self-talk into an abundance mindset, you will find yourself thinking this way naturally. An abundance outlook becomes second nature.

Over time, you will no longer be swamped by limiting thoughts, and you won’t give up at the first sign of adversity. Instead, you will seek out learning experiences, welcome opportunities, and proactively look for ways to improve yourself and others. As a result, you will build a fuller life.

5. Donate and VolunteerIf you have a habit of thinking with a scarcity mindset, you tend to see one person’s gain as your loss. Alternatively, an abundance mentality understands the limitless resources available to all.

The More You Give, The More You ReceiveGiving to others, whether time, money, love, or attention, doesn’t take away from what you already have. In fact, it enriches your life, creating a sense of purpose through fulfillment and service.

You can cultivate an abundance mindset by finding ways to give back to others. Activities like donating money or volunteering your time will get you into the habit of helping others, rather than hoarding resources to yourself. As an added bonus, scientists have found that regular acts of altruism also lead to greater happiness and overall well being.

Ready to Live an Abundant Life?Changing the way you look at the world isn’t always easy. It may not happen overnight. Sometimes people get too caught up in their own heads and need an outside perspective to move forward in life.

In my work as a career coach, I apply fields like neuroscience and psychology to guide individuals to maximize personal and professional potential. I’ve gained insights on how to develop an abundance mindset.

With the right support system, you can recognize and change thought patterns toward an abundance mindset. When you’re ready, we’re here to help!

The post Stop Fearing Scarcity: How to Create an Abundance Mindset appeared first on SoulSalt.

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The level of success you see in your life is a direct result of your belief system.

I’m not talking about religion or philosophy here – I mean your belief in your ability to succeed.

Believing in yourself means having faith in your own capabilities. It means believing that you CAN do something – that it’s within your ability. When you believe in yourself, you can overcome self-doubt and have the confidence to take action and get things done.

When you’re drowning in fears, doubts, and self-sabotaging behaviors, success feels out of your grasp. All of the skills, training, and tools in the world won’t change your life.

That’s why I’m offering these powerful steps to overcome the obstacles in the way of your self-confidence.

If you want to accelerate this process, I can show you how to overcome self-doubt and take action during a one-on-one coaching session!

In this article:

• Why Is It Important to Believe in Yourself?
• 5 Steps to Confidently Believing in Yourself
  • Work on Your Strengths (Not Weaknesses)
  • Be Your Own Coach
  • Embrace Who You Are
  • Believe You Can and You Will
  • Be Uncomfortable
• The Power of Believing You Can Improve

Originally published on 13 July, 2021, this article was republished on 25 March, 2024.

Why Is It Important to Believe in Yourself?Believing in yourself lays the groundwork for a fulfilling life. It’s more than just positive thinking – it’s a mindset that shapes your actions and outcomes. When you have unwavering faith in your abilities, profound changes occur.

Firstly, self-belief boosts self-confidence, empowering you to confront challenges, step out of your comfort zone, and seize opportunities for growth.

Believing in Yourself Attracts Others TooConfidence is magnetic, drawing the right people towards you and fostering trust and admiration in both personal and professional circles.

Additionally, self-belief enhances decision-making and performance. With confidence in your abilities, you can make decisions more confidently and perform more effectively, driving you toward achieving your goals.

Ultimately, believing in yourself is the cornerstone of personal growth, resilience, and success, unlocking your potential for a confident, fulfilling life.

5 Steps to Confidently Believing in YourselfOnce you solidify your belief in yourself, success is 100% possible for you. Here are the steps you need to take to start believing in yourself:

1. Work on Your Strengths (Not Weaknesses)When you fail over and over at something that seems easy to others, it’s nearly impossible to believe in yourself.

And when you struggle with confidence, you tend to focus on things you can’t do. That’s because you feel weaknesses more keenly. They are painfully highlighted in your mind, symbols of shame and failure.

“I’m bad at this,” quickly escalates to, “I’ll never be good at anything!”

The good news is that everyone has weaknesses — and strengths.

You need to determine how to identify your strengths so that you can get the most mileage out of them.

The solution to start building confidence right away:

Stop Spinning Your Wheels……at things you aren’t wired for. Find what you are good at already, and work at becoming great.

A common habit of successful people is to focus on the positive — what they excel at — and delegate weaknesses to others instead of worrying about not measuring up.

When you shift your focus to developing your strengths, you will effortlessly feel more competent and confident. And when you put effort into developing your natural abilities, you can become a badass.

Maybe you know some of your strengths. To get some ideas, think about how people might describe you:

• Always has a grand vision, big-picture thinking
• Notices the little things, detail-oriented
• Loves learning and research
• Good communicator
• Never gives up
• Hands on and action oriented

Talk to your family, close friends, and colleagues about what your strengths are. What are some things they come to you for help with? You’re not fishing for compliments, though sometimes this exercise can come with a confidence boost.

If you don’t know what your strengths are, use an assessment tool. I use StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath with my coaching clients to pinpoint their natural ways of thinking and behaving.

The exercise takes about an hour, walking through a series of questions. It’s designed to uncover your hidden sources of power — your strongest qualities. The assessment also reveals some of the best ways you can start using your inborn talents.

Knowing your strengths will allow you to put more of your effort into areas you’re already talented in. You can grow in the ways you’re naturally inclined.

Once you are working from a base of strength and belief in your abilities, you can find resources to tackle anything.

Recognizing your natural abilities (and inabilities) gives you permission to stop banging your head against a wall. You can do what you do best, and find workarounds for the rest.

For example, starting a business requires many skills, but you don’t have to own them all:

• You’re great at marketing but terrible with numbers. Outsource your bookkeeping, and hire a professional to manage the budget.
• You shine at creating content but dread interacting on social media. Use automation tools to share your work, or hire a strategist.
• You love big picture planning, but get stuck when it’s time to implement. Take on a partner who can get your idea off the ground.

Use your strengths to your advantage. This approach will bring out your confidence as you focus on using your best skills. Shifting everything else off of your plate gives you the power to be awesome at what you do best.

Your strengths are what make you unique. Develop these qualities and depend on them.

2. Be Your Own CoachIf you don’t believe in yourself, you won’t believe someone who is cheering you on from the sidelines. That’s why a great small business coach leads their clients to success not by cheerleading, but by developing talent.

According to Gallup’s research, great performance is a result of managers who empower employees – focusing on developing talent to get outstanding results.

Great coaches, and managers, lead by empowering people to succeed with the right tools, education, and resources to become excellent. They interact with people using approaches like Conversational Intelligence to put people at ease and bring out the best in everyone.

The research shows that positive thinking, goal setting, and performance reviews don’t create results on their own. When you don’t believe you have what it takes, none of those things are a magic bullet.

So how can you take advantage of this knowledge, and coach yourself?

Seek out the tools and education to develop your talent. The SoulSalt book is a field guide for this process.

Each step you take, moving closer to your goal, is evidence of your ability to succeed. Believing in yourself becomes easier and you will see your success reflected in you.

You don’t need another person to work through this process or to possess qualities of leadership to coach yourself through it.

Self-Reflect Without JudgmentStart by journaling on where you want to be in life. Write out all the things you want to have, and the kind of person you want to be. From here, you can come up with strategies to get to that point.

You can also write out the parts of your life that you’re unhappy with such as:

• Feeling overwhelmed with responsibilities.
• Wanting more purpose in life.
• Craving more free time for things you love (reading, gardening, hiking).
• Stress about finances.

By identifying the parts of your life that you’re least satisfied with and keeping an eye on where you ultimately want to be, you can create long-term goals that are manageable for you.

3. Embrace Who You AreHow can you have faith in yourself when you don’t know who you really are? Or worse, you are trying hard to be someone you’re not.

Be Your Authentic SelfSelf-confidence comes from embracing who you are and what’s important to you. It does not come from being inauthentic or trying to impress people.

In most cases, this is easier said than done.

The pressure to fit in, to “be normal,” is strong, and it starts early. That’s fine if you want to live an unremarkable life. But you’re here, reading this article, because that’s not the life for you. You want something more.

To start believing you can have the life you want, you must dig deep to discover what that will look like for you. You must understand what makes you unique, and celebrate those things.

When you begin living true to your identity and core values, you will start believing in your worth, your abilities, and your human potential. Core values are the foundation for forming your personal philosophy to guide your actions going forward.

Embracing yourself is best done in baby steps:

Start by Writing Down What’s Important to YouYou’ll want to do this several times over weeks, or even months. Each time you’ll get closer to uncovering your core values.

This will help you to see through the things you’ve been conditioned to believe in. When you’re finished, you’ll have a list of traits that represent your truest self.

Observe Your Patterns of Thought and BehaviorDo you often cater to others at the expense of your values? When you think you’re being nice or keeping the peace, ask yourself why. The result is that you dull your shine and live for other people’s approval.

When you feel this internal conflict happening, work on addressing it. You can kindly say no, assert a different opinion, or let someone know that what they’ve done has hurt you.

Some people might not like the “new you,” and that’s OK. They can play a more limited role in your life. Fortunately, when you’re authentically you, the right people will be drawn to you, and real friendships will grow even stronger.

Step Out From the Expectations of OthersBeing authentic feels like a big risk, and you might be afraid of criticism. Remember that your experience of life is about you, and their experience of life is about them.

Doing things that scare you will solidify the confidence you need to be your truest self. It sounds counter-intuitive, but being vulnerable – accepting your fear and not hiding it – is the surest path to building strength.

Make Time for New AdventuresIt could be jumping out of a plane, taking a fitness class, or picking up a paintbrush. Pick something that seems fun but scares you at least a little bit and jump in.

You can learn so much about yourself from these activities that you should engage in them regularly. Add variety and do new things often.

4. Believe You Can and You WillTo start believing in yourself, you have to stop believing you are stuck with the skills and abilities you have right now. This is called a fixed mindset, which is a limited thinking pattern that’s fatal to your success.

Adopt a Growth MindsetStart believing you can change. This way of thinking is called a growth mindset. It means that you believe change is possible.

It may be true that you don’t have what it takes to accomplish your goals – right now. But if you believe you can improve, develop, and learn, then you will get there – even when nothing goes right.

Deeply believing that you and your life can change for the better is the driving force behind all of your efforts. You will then be more willing, and even excited, to put in the work required to make those changes.

There is no greater confidence booster than seeing the results of your work. But you must believe it’s worthwhile or you will never put in the effort to begin with.

In her TED Talk, Meg Jay tells young people to forget about their identity crisis and start building identity capital. Don’t waste another second thinking:

• I’m not qualified for anything.
• I don’t know what direction to take.
• I’m not getting anywhere in my life.
• I thought I’d be someone by now.

Building identity capital means doing things that add value to who you are. Start investing time and effort in becoming that “someone” you want to be.

I think this advice applies to everyone, even if your 20s are long gone. In fact, it’s entirely possible to start a new career at 40, and it’s never too late to refine your identity.

If you don’t have confidence in your skills or abilities, even your appearance, get to work:

• Exploring new work or educational opportunities.
• Learning new skills, or improving the ones you already have.
• Making new connections to uncover new opportunities.

By believing that change is possible, you’ll be consciously choosing ways to grow.

Nothing is stopping you. Whatever your dream is, once you wholeheartedly believe that it’s possible for you, that’s when the adventure truly begins.

5. Be UncomfortableIf what you did today looks a lot like what you did yesterday, last week, and three years ago – you’re too comfortable. You’re in a pattern and it’s getting you exactly nowhere.

To make real change in your life you have to get uncomfortable. You have to step out of your cozy box and do things differently.

This means making a greater effort and even feeling a bit weird doing things that are out of the ordinary.

Do the Weird Things AnywayYou have this whole life to experiment with who you are. It’s your life and you don’t need to live it to anyone’s expectations but your own. If you want a different life, make it yourself.

Through experimenting and acting on your ideas, your capabilities and potential are reflected back at you.

Experimenting with different skills, approaches, and tactics in your life is one of the best ways to build confidence and foster mental toughness. Sure, it’s uncomfortable, but new things always are.

Fortunately, when you start to do more new things, the fear becomes fun. You get to learn so much from trying new things, whether or not you succeed in the attempt.

There are challenges. Part of the process means getting over negative self-talk, fear of failure, and imposter syndrome. You may have to face genuine anxiety and work on ways to manage it.

Every single person who has done any kind of self-improvement will tell you that these feelings are very real. They’ll tell you it’s scary, but the results are worth it.

Each time you step into something new there will be fear. Your power lies in walking through that fear and doing the thing anyway.

The Power of Believing You Can ImproveMagic happens by simply believing it’s possible. Your belief in possibility is necessary for the work, experimentation, and consistency needed to change your life.

This belief in possibility is what provided rock stars with the single-minded intensity to get on stage every night, in the face of ridiculous odds.

It’s what gave famous authors the tenacity to keep writing and editing after countless rejected manuscripts.

It’s what kept star athletes training, through pain, injury, and loss, until they made it to the top.

Now you have some tools to start believing in yourself. Work on these steps consistently, and you will begin to see amazing things happening in your life.

If you want to accelerate your self-belief process, schedule your one-on-one coaching session with me today.

The post How to Believe in Yourself (In 5 Simple Steps) appeared first on SoulSalt.

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Sometimes in life, you may feel stuck and you find yourself saying, “I don’t know what to do with my life.”

You may be searching for a purpose, a passion that makes you feel alive. You feel like you’re ready to take action and make a change, but you just don’t know which direction to go.

If this sounds like you, then keep reading.

In this article, I’ll provide you with clear, actionable advice to help you get unstuck and decide the next steps to take when you find yourself in a rut.

Each step will help you shake loose the mantle of indecision, and help you orient your life towards a purposeful and meaningful life.

In this article:

1. What Needs to Change in Your Life?
   1. What would the “child you” think about the “current you”?
   2. What are the things you want to change or eliminate from your life?
   3. Who and what are the people you like and admire?
   4. What inspires you?
   5. How can you serve others?
   6. What have you always thought you’d do with your life?
   7. What do you want to do every day?
   8. What do you want to do before you die?
   9. What scares you?
2. Figure Out What to Do Next With Your Life
   1. Examine your purpose in life
   2. Evaluate your life values
   3. Analyze your strengths
   4. Examine your career choices and designation
   5. Assess your opportunities
   6. Explore your hobbies and passions
   7. Take field trips and observe other people
   8. Read, learn, and get inspired
   9. Experiment

Originally published on 13 May 2021, this article was republished on March 8th, 2024.

What Needs to Change in Your Life? “Ask the right questions and the answers will reveal themselves.”

Oprah

When you find yourself in a rut, it’s often unclear what needs to change.

It can feel confusing to pinpoint where you’re at versus where you want to be. To get a clear idea of how to build a meaningful life, you first need to clarify what exactly needs to change.

You may have a good-paying job, a loving family, and a supportive partner. On paper, your life looks great, but somehow you still feel unfulfilled. You go through the motions, but something is missing.

Sometimes in these cases, implementing change seems overwhelming. One problem piles on top of the next, and it feels like every day you constantly have to put out fires. When nothing goes right, you may feel frozen and scared to make the next move.

To galvanize yourself into action, you need to ask yourself some hard-hitting questions to learn where you stand right now – to find out what is working and what needs to change.

1. What Would the “Child You” Think about the “Current You”?Every child is born like a blank slate. They behave based on their purest instincts with zero conditioning from outside influences.

Children seem to fearlessly express themselves by playing, laughing, and dancing. They show up authentically and approach life with a playful attitude.

Your inner childDeep down inside, that inner child still exists – it’s your authentic self. If you listen to that inner child, you can reconnect with your truest passions that speak to your heart, which you may have suppressed long ago.

Close your eyes. Try to think back to yourself as a child. What would that child think about the “current you”?

Ask yourself:

• What kind of activities did you enjoy?
• How did you look at the world?
• Can you think of any difficult situations that may have impacted who you are today?
• What does the “adult you” want the “child you” to experience more of?
• Do you hide parts of your inner child to fit in now?

2. What Do You Want to Change or Eliminate From Your Life?Where do you stand in your life right now?

You may have a lot of things going right for you, or maybe you recognize the glaringly obvious things that need to change.

At this point, you need to be honest with yourself about what you need and what you don’t.

To do this, write down a list of all the things that bring you joy and satisfaction. Then make a separate list of the areas of your life that you need to change.

Consider the following:

• Life habits: Do you get enough sleep, eat nutritious foods, and stay active?
• Relationships: Compare people who lift you up versus toxic relationships.
• Work or career path: Do you yearn to change jobs or shift your career path entirely?
• Routine: Do you spend time doing the things that you love? Do you take on too much?

3. Who Are the People You Like and Admire?Having role models can inspire your direction to build a meaningful life. They provide a template that you can aspire to, a version of someone that you hope to be one day.

Who are your role models?Take a moment to write down a few names of people you admire. Perhaps they are people you know personally. Or maybe they’re a celebrity or public figure who inspires you.

List a few characteristics or achievements that you admire about each individual. This can reveal qualities that matter to you, and it’s one of the ways you can start to uncover your own core values.

4. What Inspires You?Living a good life means more than just having your essential needs met. Deep down, we all want to feel inspired. That can mean in the work we do, the people we help, the hobbies we pursue.

You may have a ton of ideas or none at all. When you want to know how to find your passion in life, make a list and think about:

• If you could have your dream job, what would you do?
• What adventures and activities intrigue you?
• If you had all the time and money at your disposal, what would you do?

5. How Can You Serve Others?What makes people happy? A good job, a fancy car, a big house, lots of lavish vacations?

According to science, feeling happy has a lot to do with helping others. Professor of psychology, Dr. Laurie Santos, PhD., teaches a popular course at Yale University called The Science of Well-Being and has spent her career exploring the “recipe” for happiness.

Dr. Santos’ research has found that happier people tend to pay attention to the needs of others. They often participate in service-oriented activities, like giving to charity and volunteering.

How much time do you spend helping others?Consider some ways you can participate in a cause greater than yourself – look for something that resonates with you.

Whether that means supporting your community, adopting an animal, or conserving the environment, these activities can bring you more purpose through serving others.

6. What Have You Always Thought You’d Do with Your Life?You may already have an idea, deep down inside, of your calling.

Did you have a passion that fell by the wayside because of other responsibilities? You may need to reconnect with that part of yourself to feel whole again.

Let’s explore this question a bit more.

Think about your current work situation. Ask yourself:

• Why are you doing what you’re doing?
• Does this job feel more like a calling or a way to pay the bills?
• When you close your eyes, can you imagine a dream job that calls to you?

Everyone needs to find a way to bring home the bacon, but life is too short to be stuck in a job that you hate.

You can find meaning and enjoyment in the work that you do. But it may mean taking risks and asking the right questions to move forward.

7. What Do You Want to Do Every Day?Consistency + Time = ResultsYou build a meaningful life based on your consistent, day-to-day habits. Small actions done daily, after all, are exponentially more impactful than sporadic bouts of work every few weeks.

Consider the big dreams that you have in your heart. Now, think about what kind of daily habits will lead you to that goal.

This can even mean small things, like writing 20 minutes a day, practicing guitar, or going for a walk. At first glance, these seemingly small things don’t seem very impactful, but over time they can lead to monumental changes.

8. What Do You Want to Do Before You Die?Close your eyes and imagine the things you’ve always wanted to do. Take some time to brainstorm those heart dreams and write them down.

Your list could include big goals like starting your own business, starting a family, or moving to a new city. You may consider taking on a challenge like learning a foreign language or participating in a marathon.

Your list may also include small things that you neglect for yourself. You should reignite your sense of adventure with a little vacation, a night out, or a change in routine.

When you don’t know how to figure out what you want in life, sometimes a simple reset can give you the answers you need.

9. What Scares You?“I don’t know what to do with my life,” can sometimes mean, “I’ve been afraid to go after what I really want.”

Everyone faces fear – and it has its purpose. Fear protects us from dangerous situations, but it can also result from limiting thinking that starts at a young age.

A controlling parent might have yelled at you too often. A bully at school may have made you feel unworthy.

These fears create negative thought patterns that we carry with us through the rest of our lives. They prevent us from taking risks and living a life outside of our comfort zones.

Understanding your fears helps differentiate between rational fears and limiting beliefs.

You’ll learn what scares you (and for good reason), but you’ll also recognize what you’ve been avoiding and why.

Figure Out What to Do Next With Your LifeWhen you yearn to find direction and purpose, you may feel overwhelmed with options and need clarification about which path to take.

First, learn how to deal with feeling overwhelmed and train your body and mind to react properly to stress.

Then, take these steps to figure out what to do with your life and discover what you’re meant to do.

1. Examine Your Purpose in LifeFind your purposeEach of us has a purpose – unique gifts that only you can bring to the table, and no one else. But many people move through life without thinking about their purpose.

Some follow the prescribed path – get good grades, get into a good school, get a good job, buy a house, and start a family. Others face life circumstances and responsibilities that make it much harder to go after a big dream.

Whatever is holding you back, you can’t find yourself by following a set of external expectations. When you want to know how to find your purpose in life, you have to look inward.

That means tapping into your unique gifts, your mindset, and what you can offer in service of others for the greater good. You’ll find your purpose at the intersection between what you love to do and what other people need.

2. Evaluate Your Life ValuesYour core values provide the foundation for building a meaningful life. When you identify what matters to you, your decisions and actions tend to align with those values.

Some examples of core values include:

• Connection
• Family
• Career
• Status
• Freedom
• Creativity
• Beauty
• Service

Make a list of values and beliefs, then try to narrow down that list to 3-5 core values. How does your day-to-day life reflect those values?

You may recognize areas of your life, like relationships, lifestyle choices, or work, that conflict with your values and need to change.

For example, you might value freedom and would like the autonomy to travel where you want and work according to your own schedule.

But you’re tied down with a demanding job that requires you to physically be at a workplace every day, forcing you to commute and leaving you with no time for your life outside of work.

This is a conflict between a value you hold close to your heart and your current circumstances, and will likely result in dissonance in your life. The solution would be to find a way to transition to work that would give you more time to experience the freedom you desire.

3. Analyze Your StrengthsFind strengthI define strengths as the aspects of yourself that help you reach your fullest potential. When you know your strengths, you attract opportunities that allow you to really shine.

Consider the things you do well naturally but that you can also improve through practice – a skill you frequently receive praise for, or one that causes you to lose track of time when you’re practicing it.

You can use tools like the DISC profile assessment to start uncovering your strengths and build upon them. By building on your strengths, you’ll notice the value that it brings to your life almost immediately.

For example, I had a client who valued creativity but couldn’t find the time to explore this side of her personality as much as she wanted. She loved to draw, paint, and write, but somehow the rest of her life kept getting in the way of these pursuits.

After some coaching sessions, I encouraged her to set aside twenty or thirty minutes every morning to pursue one of these outlets – writing, in this case. She started keeping a journal, and soon she was spending an hour every day documenting her thoughts and ideas. This daily writing practice allowed her to structure her life better so that she had less anxiety and more time for work and family.

4. Examine Your Career Choices and DesignationAs you explore your values and strengths, you begin to point your compass toward possible new directions.

You may notice some obvious next steps. For example, if you value family, maybe you want to find a job that allows you to spend more time with your loved ones.

Draw a Venn diagram and identify some of your top values, interests, and strengths. Try to list five options in the middle of the Venn that relate to those aspects of yourself.

Can you point out career paths or activities that might make you feel more fulfilled?

5. Assess Your OpportunitiesFinding your why might mean a big change, like starting a new career path. But before you quit your job, do a lot of research first.

Instead of jumping head first, take calculated risks and plan ahead. Look for potential career opportunities that relate to your interests, then assess the current marketplace.

Pay attention to the following:

• If it’s a saturated market with a lot of competition, what would it take to stand out?
• Identify niche industries where you can succeed.
• Ask yourself: What kind of education or training will you need to qualify?
• Do you know anyone currently working in that field who can guide you?
• What’s the payoff? How much would it cost to get the training to qualify versus the average pay for that line of work?

Before starting SoulSalt, I knew I wanted to create something that could help people who were feeling lost in life. I had a gift for speaking and inspiring people, but I couldn’t quite figure out how best to deploy that at scale.

How did I decide what to do? I looked to my heroes – people in the same space who were already living my calling – and then figured out what they were doing right, but, more importantly, what they weren’t doing. I saw a niche that I could expand into, and by doing so, reach a specific audience with a very tailored message.

6. Explore Your Hobbies and PassionsWhen you find yourself saying things like, “I don’t know what to do with my life”, you may immediately think of something drastic, like changing careers.

But sometimes you can find a way to feel more fulfilled by incorporating hobbies and passions into your life.

What are your hobbies?Hobbies can enrich your life and allow you to fulfill your passions. They allow you to increase your knowledge and skills through practice. Not only can you build self-esteem and confidence as you improve, but you can also meet new people, depending on the activity.

Best of all, hobbies don’t require a dramatic life change. It might just mean dedicating an hour a week to join a martial arts class, cooking a new recipe, or surfing. Adding a hobby or two could be the simple spark of inspiration you need.

7. Take Field Trips and Observe Other PeopleSometimes finding inspiration means stepping outside of your bubble. Go explore, whether it means getting more involved in your community, attending new events, or taking a trip to a new city.

Take field trips to discover what other people do for fun.

For example, did you know you can now enter into competitive lightsaber fights? Or, how about the Mongol Derby, a long-distance horse race created by Genghis Khan in 1224?

Spice things up with new possibilities by watching what others do.

8. Read, Learn, and Get InspiredToday, we have so much information at our disposal – podcasts, books, TEDTalks. These resources can open your mind to so many opportunities just waiting to be discovered – and give you ideas for how to find your purpose in the process.

I know so many people, for example, who have been able to optimize their health – and, in the process, their lives – by watching or listening to the Huberman Lab Podcast. The host, Andrew Huberman, regularly puts out well-researched and effective podcast episodes that detail how to improve your health at low-to-zero cost.

From my own experience, Joey Reiman’s book Thinking for a Living really inspired me during a career change.

I also recommend The $100 Dollar Start-up by Chris Guillebeau, a book full of examples of how to reinvent yourself.

9. Discover Through ExperimentationDiscovering the purpose of life is not an easy question, and each person has their own unique path, one that changes during different phases of life.

The answer to “I don’t know what to do with my life,” might be an idea you haven’t tried yet.

Take a playful, open-minded approach in how to figure out what to do with your life. Become comfortable with the uncomfortable. You’ll become more adaptive and invite new opportunities in your life to grow, expand, and fulfill your purpose.

Discover through experimentationExperiment to discover what makes you feel inspired. Let go of the need to be perfect and simply try something new, even if you’re lousy at first. Recognize when a path just doesn’t feel right anymore and don’t feel bad if you need to walk away.

Still not sure where to begin? Then consider working with someone to guide you.

Our online Take Control of Your Life program gives you step-by-step guidance toward navigating change and finding your purpose. We’ll help you make sense of the confusion and discover the path forward toward building a better future.

The post I Don’t Know What to Do with My Life: Here’s How to Find Your Way appeared first on SoulSalt.

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Taking control of your life doesn’t mean you control everything that happens. It means confidently moving forward with your goals and priorities while embracing change as an inevitable part of life.

But how do you get that feeling of confidence and control when it seems like nothing is going right?

By making small changes that, over time, have a huge impact on the direction of your life.

The strategies outlined below are aimed at helping you get super clear on who you are and what you really want out of life.

When you’re clear on who you are, you stop getting sidelined by other people’s priorities and become more flexible and resilient, especially when things don’t go as planned.

So with that in mind, here’s how to start taking control of your life, one piece at a time:

1. Clarify Your Core Values and Beliefs
2. Identify Internal vs. External Motivations
3. Create a Vision
4. Believe That You Can: Overcome Limiting Beliefs
5. Take Personal Responsibility
6. Let Go of What You Cannot Control
7. Respond Instead of Reacting
8. Unpack Emotional Triggers
9. Make a Plan of Action (With Tiny Steps)
10. Implement a Daily Planning Routine
11. Know When to Take Breaks

Originally published on February 8, 2021, this article was republished on March 4, 2024.

1. Clarify Your Core Values and BeliefsWe’re constantly bombarded by all kinds of messages about what success means. Open up Instagram or any other social media platform and you’re immediately shown:

• The successful entrepreneur crushing their new venture
• The empowered working mother raising two perfect children
• The digital nomad working from a beach in Bali
• The driven social worker making a positive impact in their community

What Do You Want From Life?Chasing everyone else’s dreams will pull you in a million different directions. But taking back control of your life requires you to get clear on what you actually want.

That’s where your core values come in.

But why are core values important in the first place?

Simply put – they shape who you are. They’re the ground you stand on to build a sense of self. When you discover your core values, you can live your truth. You can connect to your truest version and start living unapologetically.

Studies confirm that having a clear idea of your beliefs:

• Gives you clarity on how to make decisions around pursuing passions, long-term career goals, and relationships.
• Leads to stronger social connections.
• Encourages a higher pain tolerance.
• Makes you less likely to engage in destructive thought patterns, like comparing yourself to others.
• Allows you to know when to say “yes” and when to walk away.

Your recipe for happiness and meaning will not look the same as someone else’s. You may consider family, service, and community the most important parts of your life. Someone else may prioritize things like freedom, adventure, and spirituality.

2. Identify Internal vs. External MotivationsTo get back on track, it helps to differentiate between your internal motivations and reconcile them with external influences.

Internal MotivatorsInternal motivators come from within – those heart dreams that fill you with passion and purpose. These types of desires are personal to you; they’re determined by your own values and goals.

External MotivatorsExternal motivators come from outside of yourself. They refer to the goals and expectations set by your parents, partner, friends, or community. External motivators can also mean standards set by society that you feel pressure to live up to.

Sometimes our internal motivations and external motivators come into conflict.

For example, you want to leave school and travel the world, but your parents expect you to finish that law degree. You want to quit your job to pursue your passion, but you have a family to feed.

Taking back control of your life doesn’t mean neglecting all external motivators. But it does mean finding a balance that allows room for both. This isn’t selfish – it’s necessary.

You must nurture your relationship with yourself, dive deeper, and find out what’s driving you. This might mean learning how to set boundaries so you can focus on what truly makes you happy.

3. Create a VisionWhen I feel like I have no control over my life, I take a step back to reconnect with my vision.

Visualization Is a Powerful ToolVisualization is similar to meditation, but instead of emptying the thoughts and chatter in your mind, you fill it with the experience of what you want your life to become.

A survey of 1100 people and 500 small business owners conducted by TD Bank found that 67% of participants felt that pictures of goals improved the odds of achieving them. Those who imagined their financial and business goals felt twice as confident that they could accomplish their dreams versus those who didn’t visualize their goals in some way.

Try these prompts to help you visualize:

• What does success look like to you? Do you picture a healthier lifestyle? Do you envision yourself surrounded by specific people? What kind of career do you see?
• What does this version of you and your life feel like?
• Think of your greatest aspirations, the extraordinary life you’ve always dreamt of.

You can also create a vision board – a collection of images, photos, words, and phrases that reflect your dreams.

Place the vision board in your home office, on your vanity mirror, or somewhere in your line of sight. This reinforces your direction, to help bring your dreams to life!

4. Overcome Limiting BeliefsMost people have an internal dialogue. This inner speech is linked to a wide range of psychological functions, like reading, writing, planning, memory, self-motivation, and problem-solving, according to research published in Psychology Bulletin.

What is the flavor of your self-talk? Does your internal voice say things like:

• “You’re not good enough.”
• “You can’t do it.”
• “That won’t work.”

Beware of Negative Self-TalkMany times, this limited thinking comes from an earlier part of your life. It’s that voice of a parent who didn’t give you enough praise, or that kid in school who was always waiting for you to mess up.

Taking control of your life means you no longer allow limiting beliefs to hold you back.

Get into the habit of managing your internal dialogue. To do this, take a week to track your thoughts and write them down. Identify where these voices of self-doubt come from. Do you notice any patterns?

Actively nurturing positive self-talk is a powerful tool for increasing your confidence and curbing self-doubt. When you find yourself thinking something negative, take a step back and remind yourself, “Oh, that’s my father talking.”

Respond with something positive instead: “Actually, that’s not true. I am good enough. I can do this.”

Learn how to trust yourself and be your own cheerleader!

5. Take Personal ResponsibilityRegaining control of your life means finding the balance between what you can and cannot control. This means understanding what you can control and taking 100% responsibility for those things.

You may need to take a hard look at your actions and make some changes going forward.

Give Yourself a Dose of RealityAre you partially responsible for this situation? This isn’t about punishing yourself but looking for the pieces that are within your power to change.

From time to time, take inventory of your life and ask yourself honestly:

• Am I fully present in my work and family life?
• Am I getting enough rest?
• Am I eating properly?
• Am I managing my time wisely?
• Am I sticking to my budget?

Also, remember to be forgiving to yourself. Everyone falls short sometimes, so it’s important to give yourself a break and remember that life is a learning experience. We grow as we go.

Take responsibility, own what you can control, and make better choices going forward.

6. Let Go of What You Cannot ControlNot long ago, I returned home from walking my dog to find an envelope on my doormat. It contained a medallion inscribed with the serenity prayer:

Serenity PrayerGod, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

It came from a client who was let go as the general manager of a company because of health reasons. Instead of despairing, he was very relaxed about the situation. I asked him how he was keeping his composure in the face of a setback like this.

He said, “It’s the things you’ve taught me, Lyn. I’ve realized the difference between what I can control and what I can’t. So I’m giving you this medallion.”

This was an eye-opening moment, showing the power of making this simple shift to knowing what you can and can’t control. This client was stepping into a huge transition, and yet, he stayed calm.

You can’t control everything. Even when you prepare and plan, some things still won’t go your way. So why waste your time and energy on the things you cannot change?

Rather than overthinking and anticipating the worst-case scenario, you can develop coping strategies to better manage fear of the unknown, such as mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness meditation brings awareness to the present moment. With practice, you can feel more at ease.

Focus on what you can control and what’s in front of you right now.

7. Respond Instead of ReactingOf course, you can’t control everything. But you can control how you respond, shifting from a place of reaction to response. This means being aware and knowing how to control your emotions, without allowing them to dictate your actions.

Reacting is emotional. Responding is emotional intelligence. Here’s the difference:

ReactionWhen you say or do something based on beliefs, biases, and prejudices. A reaction happens immediately in the unconscious, without thinking. It is survival-oriented and often a defense mechanism.

ResponseWhen you process your initial emotional reaction before taking action. You observe your instant reaction, then ensure your actions remain in line with your core values.

Feeling out of control can often occur within ourselves. This happens when you react to situations and let your emotions get the best of you. If you’ve ever lost your temper or felt overwhelmed with life, you can surely relate to this feeling of losing control.

We are emotional beings. It’s normal and healthy to feel emotional. But you don’t want your emotions to run the show. If you can sit with the emotions for a minute, they become milder. You can respond calmly. This is called emotional sobriety.

When you feel intense emotion, take a moment to sit with that experience. Maybe you need to yell out loud to yourself, go for a run, or cry for a bit. Feel that emotion. Let it happen. This will release the intensity, so you can experience how to feel in control.

8. Unpack Emotional TriggersWhen you want to loosen the grip that emotions have on you, start by understanding where they come from in the first place. Think of emotional responses as breadcrumbs, leading you back to places that need your attention.

Many of our emotional reactions are learned. They can result from experiences during childhood. For example, if a parent leaves you at an early age, you may have an extreme fear of rejection later in life.

Taking back control means addressing the underlying conditions that have made us choose the actions, healing from those events, and rewriting your story going forward, moving beyond your past self.

Healing from trauma involves an unraveling:

1. Notice an emotional reaction
2. Bring awareness to those emotions. Ask yourself: What am I feeling? (Studies show that simply identifying emotions and putting them into words can help to lessen their grip)
3. Now it’s time to unravel: Where do these emotions come from? Can you draw a line between what you feel now and something you experienced in your past? Do you still need to heal in some way?

If you are having difficulty with strong emotions or past trauma, you may benefit from professional support to work through it.

Self AwarenessSelf-awareness will help mitigate emotional reactions the next time they come up. When you know your fears and can identify the situations that make you feel anxious, it won’t feel so surprising when it happens.

9. Make a Plan of Action (With Tiny Steps)Many people get stuck talking about their dreams, without ever doing anything about it. Often we’ll wait until we feel inspired to take action. The truth is that inspiration often comes through action.

Inspiration Comes From ActionIf you want to move forward, you have to start somewhere. Imagine this big dream of yours. Then trace yourself backwards to where you are now.

What small steps do you need to take to achieve your goals?

A goal will seem more attainable when you break it down into bite-sized chunks. Slowly start working toward those steps.

This can mean working on your book for an hour at a time or starting to exercise for 20 minutes a day.

Those small efforts will pay off in the long run, and each small success will give you the confidence to keep going.

10. Implement a Daily Planning RoutineIf your schedule is all over the place, you’ll easily feel unorganized and confused. Taking control of your days, just by creating a bit more structure, adds up to a sense of control in your life.

Daily PlanningDaily planning helps you stay focused on what matters to you. It keeps you on track, removing opportunities for getting caught up in unimportant tasks.

Create a routine around your priorities, and structure your day to optimize your energy levels.

Are you a morning person? Then wake up early and carve out the first part of the day for your most important tasks. If you feel more alert in the afternoon, block off that time instead.

Here are a few more tips:

• Make time for a weekly planning session
• Sit down on a day-to-day basis and prioritize what’s important
• Design a morning ritual, to set the right mindset for the rest of your day
• Remove distractions. Work in a quiet area, and put your phone away
• Schedule time each day for rest and movement
• When you feel in a rut, switch things up a bit. Work outside of your normal office. Change up your routine. Take a different route to work. This change can inspire new ideas.

11. Know When to Take BreaksControl doesn’t mean cramming in as many tasks as possible in one day. Doing so will only cause stress in the mind and body. Ultimately, you’ll crash.

Strike a BalanceYou need to create a balance, rather than overexerting yourself. By doing this, you’ll produce better quality work and maintain good physical, emotional, and mental health.

To perform at their best, professional athletes need to take breaks and recover during their off-season. Similarly, you need to take breaks from the relentless pursuit of your goals.

I worked with the CEO of a global company who couldn’t make up her mind. Rather than push through, she decided to take a week off and do something creative. This helped her come back to the drawing board with a clear head.

Acknowledge the steps you need to take and stay committed. Check in with yourself and know when you need to take a break. When you return, you can set a new direction with renewed energy, ideas, and focus.

Regaining control of your life can take time. It can involve major lifestyle changes that may not happen overnight. When you are lost, it can feel daunting trying to find your path again. But you’ll get there by taking one step at a time.

Are You Ready to Finally Take Control of Your Life?When you’re ready to take control of your life, we’re here to help.

We’ve put together a complete online course just for people like you, who want to get unstuck and start living an authentic life of passion and purpose.

Check it out and start regaining control today.

Take Control Course: Identify, Find, and Live as Your True Self

The post How to Take Control of Your Life: 11 Small Shifts for Big Change appeared first on SoulSalt.

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Do you want to live a life of integrity in which your actions align with your personal list of values and beliefs? Great, you’re in the right place to begin living true.

Many of us struggle with finding direction, making big decisions, and even knowing how to act in day-to-day situations. When you take the time to consider your core values, these things become crystal clear.

Core values point the needle of your compass, illuminating the pathway toward living a meaningful life — one that’s filled with passion and purpose.

Instead of allowing outside influences like media, pop culture, or social environment to shape your life, you can be true to yourself.

In this article, I will help you uncover your true identity by clarifying your values.

By the end, you’ll have discovered a unique list of values and beliefs to help orient your life. And even better, you’ll have a clear idea of what actions you can take to experience life in true alignment.

Do you want to overcome self-doubt and take action in your life? Try our mini-course Believing in Yourself! Learn four proven tactics to embrace your true self and live strong.

Originally published on January 29th, 2020, this post was updated and republished on February 23rd, 2024.

102 Examples of Values and BeliefsTake some time to explore this list of values and beliefs, and consider which ones resonate with you:

Core Values List* Family * Freedom * Security * Loyalty * Intelligence * Connection * Creativity * Humanity * Success * Respect * Invention * Diversity * Generosity * Integrity * Finesse * Love * Openness * Religion * Order * Advancement * Respect * Joy/Play * Forgiveness * Work Smarter and Harder * Excitement * Change * Goodness * Involvement * Faith * Wisdom * Beauty * Caring * Personal Development * This Too Shall Pass Attitude * Honesty * Adventure * Kindness * Teamwork * Career * Communication * Learning * Excellence * Innovation * Quality * Commonality * Contributing * Spiritualism * Strength * Entertain * Wealth * Speed * Power * Affection * Cooperation * Love of Career * Friendship/Relationship * Encouragement * Pride in Your Work * Clarity * Fun-Loving * Charisma * Humor * Leadership * Renewal * Home * Be True * Contentment * Friendship * Courage * Balance * Compassion * Fitness * Professionalism * Relationship * Knowledge * Patience * Change * Prosperity * Wellness * Finances * Gratitude * Grace * Endurance * Facilitation * Effectiveness * Fun * Fame * Justice * Appreciation * Willingness * Trusting Your Gut * Giving People a Chance * Patience * Forgiveness * Self-Respect * Abundance * Reciprocity * Enjoyment * Entrepreneurial * Happiness * Harmony * Peace Now that you’ve got plenty of ideas, you can begin to narrow it down to a few that could become the basis of your core value system.

Here are some questions to help you see where these values show up in your life:

• How do you define this value?
• What actions and activities reflect this value?
• What else could you do to further align yourself with this value?
• Could you do more to include this value in your daily life?

Being True to Yourself“A lot of the conflict you have in your life exists simply because you’re not living in alignment; you’re not being true to yourself.” ― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You

Start With a Solid BaseEvery house needs a sturdy foundation. You can build a beautiful home, but it will sink into the ground without a solid base.

The same is true with your values. Just like the foundation of a home, core values provide the groundwork for your actions, decisions, and behaviors.

Without a base, your “home” falls apart, and you lose a sense of purpose and direction. You may appear to be successful, but still, feel lost. Until you define what success means to you, you’ll be chasing empty accomplishments.

If you don’t understand your values, you may violate them without realizing it. This can lead to feelings of guilt and shame, without knowing why.

Researchers confirm that when people have a clear set of core values:

• It’s easier to make big life decisions around pursuing passions,long-term career goals, and relationships.
• They are less likely to engage in destructive thought patterns, especially in difficult life situations.
• They tolerate physical pain more easily.
• They have greater self-discipline and focus when studying or working.
• Social connections are stronger.

Let’s begin by looking inward to discover what matters to you. It’s a process, and you might need support as you dig deep to find out what makes you tick.

The list of values and beliefs you are about to dive into is adapted from Be True: Discover Your Core Value System. It’s a course in which I walk you through proven exercises to find your truth and begin living it.

When you’re ready to start discovering how to figure out who you are, check out the course. In the meantime, here are some simple ideas to get you started.

Exercises to Define Your Personal Core ValuesWhen it comes to core values, there’s no “one size fits all” approach. Everyone is different.

That’s why I don’t recommend jumping ahead to the list and choosing words that sound good. Instead, I invite you to pick up a pen and paper and spend some time on personal reflection — writing about what moves you.

Below are some questions to help you start this exploration. The answers you write down are clues you can use to identify your core value system.

1. Who Do You Admire?To better understand what you value, it can help to turn to real-life examples of people who exhibit admirable qualities.

Who Are Your Role Models?Think of some positive role models who inspire you to live a meaningful life. This could include people you know personally, famous figures, characters in a book, etc.

As you think about these people, write down:

• What it is about them that inspires you.
• The admirable qualities they possess.

• Behaviors and actions you would like to emulate.

• What Inspires You to Take Action?Often our core values reveal themselves through our actions. Can you think of a situation when you took a stand for someone or something?

Try writing down some of the reasons you felt so strongly about taking action. For example:

• The feelings that motivated you to speak up or act
• What you were willing to risk in that situation

• The results of taking action – what you gained or lost

• When Do You Feel Most Like Yourself?When you’re in situations that allow you to be authentic, that’s a clue that you are in alignment with your values. And when you have to betray yourself to fit in or find success, you feel ashamed and alone.

In situations that feel wrong in some way, what’s going on? Write down:

• Who you’re with.
• What feelings are triggered.
• What these experiences cost you emotionally or physically.

In situations where you feel real and authentic, what’s going on? Write down:

• Who you’re with.
• What activities are involved.
• Positive emotions or outcomes of these experiences.

Putting Core Values Into ActionPersonal IntegrityWhen what you value the most is congruent with what you do, you are standing in your integrity.

Let’s bridge the gap between what you value and how to put that into action with some concrete examples:

Core Value Example: FreedomIf you choose freedom, you value “the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.”

Here are some examples of actions you could take to align more fully with freedom as a core value and belief in your life:

• Express yourself freely and openly
• Build a life where you can create your schedule, travel, try new things, etc.
• Nurture relationships with friends and family who give you the freedom to be yourself
• Become your own boss
• Include enough free time in your schedule

Core Value Example: WellnessIf you identified wellness as a core value, the active pursuit of health would become a priority in your life.

Here are some day-to-day examples of how your short-term actions would line up with this personal value example:

• Fuel your body with nutritious foods
• Stay active through regular exercise
• Take care of your mental health by taking breaks, getting enough rest, spending time with loved ones, and asking for help when needed
• Avoiding self-destructive habits

Can you see how your short-term actions can put you more in line with your long-term core values? You can also use your core value system to assess opportunities and make decisions as they arise.

Core Value Example: CompassionIf compassion speaks to you as a core value, then you want to ameliorate the suffering or help heal the pain of others.

Here are some of the things you could do to ensure that your actions line up with compassion as a core value:

• Be aware of the needs of others around you
• Listen carefully and without judgment, especially when hearing about other people’s problems
• Speak with kindness
• Accept people for who they are
• Forgive people when they make a mistake

Core Value Example: CreativityIf you expressed creativity as something important to you, then you value being able to express yourself freely and deeply.

To incorporate creativity into your day-to-day life, you could:

• Ensure that your immediate surroundings are beautiful and inspiring
• Set aside time every day to draw, paint, write, compose music, or whatever action speaks to your creative soul
• Journal your thoughts to discover new and emerging ideas within yourself
• Join a group where people get together to express themselves creatively – this could be a theater group or an ecstatic dance collective

Core Value Example: CourageIf you identify courage as being something true to who you are, you find it compelling to stand up in the face of adversity, do what’s right, and take on tasks that are difficult, dangerous, or uncertain.

You can manifest courage in your daily life through the following actions:

• Stand up for others when they are being bullied or belittled
• Rise to the occasion in situations that scare you
• Take responsibility and accountability for your actions
• Say no firmly to people or actions that don’t align with your soul or values

Final Thoughts on Being TrueBy intentionally living in line with your values, you will feel an increase in happiness, peace of mind, creativity, and flow.

As with anything in life, identifying core values goes beyond checking boxes on a list. Being true to your core values involves a lifelong journey of discovery, experimentation, trial, and error.

I suggest revisiting your core values from time to time. You can use this core values quiz to assess the degree to which you are following your inner compass. If it feels like you have drifted off course, or you’re completely lost, I’d like to help you get back on track.

You’ve just uncovered a formula for discovering your truth, and you don’t have to do it alone! Isn’t it about time to start living according to your core values?

The post Defining Your List of Values and Beliefs (With 102 Examples) appeared first on SoulSalt.

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At certain points in your life, you’ll find yourself standing at the threshold of a brand new chapter.

Where one door has firmly shut and you feel drawn to another.

This is the time to turn the spotlight on yourself, to recalibrate your life so that it’s aligned towards achieving exactly what you want.

But where do you even begin? What’s the first step towards closing the gap between who you are now and who you’re destined to be?

Allow me to guide you.

Below, I’ll show you 10 ways to get your life together and reach your potential as the most true version of you.

When I coach, I use strategies just like this to facilitate transformation — so I know these steps can help you start a new chapter, or imagine a whole new book!

Your best self and your best year begin here.

1. Reflect and AssessBefore you start writing down a bunch of arbitrary goals like “exercise more” or “go on my phone less”, I encourage you to take stock of how you feel.

Take Stock of How You FeelYou need to figure out exactly where you are right now to understand the direction you need to move in.

It might sound like a tall order, but it’s quite easy to get clearer on what you want through self-reflection.

The practical way of doing this is by conducting a life audit of your last year.

With this exercise, you’ll divide your life into categories (such as family, career, health, and so on) and then evaluate how successful and happy you feel in each area.

By looking through the results, you’ll gain clearer insight into areas where you’re out of alignment.

1. Understand Your Core ValuesDon’t be disappointed if a few of your life’s categories from the first step haven’t scored as high as you would like them to. This gap is an opportunity to rediscover your true identity and the essence of what makes you, you – your core values.

Understanding your values is crucial to living an extraordinary life.

When you know who you are and what you stand for, you can live a life that flows more naturally with your unique identity. This allows you to make decisions that align with who you are, set meaningful long-term goals that nourish your soul, and enjoy the world around you in a richer, more magnificent way.

Reflect on the moments where you feel most like yourself, the qualities you admire in other people, and the causes and activities that light a warm fire in your belly.

Within these answers lies a bounty of clues to help you clarify your unique list of core values, whether that’s creativity, wisdom, altruism, or leadership.

1. Envision Future You Now that you know your core values, I want you to spend a week or so pondering the answers to the following questions:

2. If I could wish for the impossible, what would I want?

3. What adventures and activities intrigue me?
4. If I had all the time, all the resources and I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I want to happen?

The answer to these questions will help you uncover the dreams of your heart, connect you to the power of your aspirations, and bring you one step closer to getting your life together.

Discovering your aspirations will make you feel alive, excited, and hopeful. But aspirations alone are just the first part of the equation – to catapult them into reality, you’ll need to transform them into goals.

1. Plan Your Entire YearPlanning your entire year might seem like a big ask. But don’t worry, I’m not asking you to play every single day right now.

Create Three GoalsInstead, I want you to create three goals for the year based on your aspirations, values, and life audit.

As you craft these goals, be courageous, be authentic, and be true. Even if the goal seems too extraordinary and out of reach at first, with time, effort, and planning, you can achieve it – and that’s where planning your year becomes invaluable.

At the start of each week, make a promise to yourself to reflect on your goals, and set tangible, measurable targets that will help you stay on the right track.

Be sure to break the goal down into small, manageable steps. This process of goal setting allows you to feel like you’re consistently making progress while maintaining enough motivation to hit the next goal.

1. Nourish Your Unique Personal NeedsIt’s all too easy to get burnt out as you pour yourself into getting your life together, but loving and looking after yourself is just as important to your happiness as chasing your goals.

While nourishing your body with healthy food, water, exercise, and sleep is crucial, it’s also pivotal to pay attention to your soul hunger – to your unique personal needs (UPNs).

Unique Personal Needs (UPNs)These are the activities we NEED to engage in to find life exhilarating and meaningful.

To reveal what your UPNs are, spend some time figuring out the “why” behind your core values. For example, say creativity is a core value for you. This could mean that one of your UPNs means having plenty of room to use your imagination and read, write, or paint.

Or, if community is a core value, this might indicate you need to be part of a team and have an active social life to feel fulfilled and happy.

Whatever you discover is important for you, build regular time for it into your schedule each week. It’s a surefire way to boost your happiness and motivation and add color to your life.

1. Build Your Own Support SystemStepping into your truth and achieving your goals requires hard work, grit, and discipline.

The results won’t happen overnight, and when the road gets bumpy, or nothing seems to fall into place, it’s easy to get frustrated and lose motivation.

That’s precisely why building a support system is essential!

Build a Support SystemSurround yourself with people who will uplift, inspire, and champion your journey – be it role models, advisors, friends, or a career transition coach.

Meet with these people regularly to boost your motivation and help you find the positive when you hit a dip.

The same goes for distancing yourself from the naysayers in your life who dim your light and only offer negative comments. Don’t give them the gift of your time. Set boundaries so that you’re not exposed to their limited thinking and doomsday advice – otherwise, it will only bring you down.

1. Develop a RoutineResearch from Duke University found that a whopping 40% percent of our actions each day come down to habits, not decisions. That means that, if you want to get your life together and be who you’ve always wanted to be, you’re going to need to develop the mental, physical, and emotional routines to flourish.

An excellent way to find inspiration for new habits is to study the habits of highly successful people.

Whether that means developing morning and evening rituals, exercising four times a week, or building your courage muscle, decoding the practices of extraordinary people will provide you with actionable tips to energize your routine.

1. Hold Yourself Accountable (Or Hire a Coach)New Year’s ResolutionsDid you know that 92% of New Year’s resolutions fail?

To be part of the 8% who truly take control of their lives and reach the successful outcomes they desire, you’re going to need to hold yourself accountable. That means following through on your promises to yourself and learning how to nip self-sabotaging behaviors in the bud.

Setting goals and measuring your success is a powerful way to keep yourself accountable – but it can also be helpful to enlist the support of a professional coach, like myself.

I’ll act as your accountability partner and guide you through the winding journey of self-transformation, helping you discover your core values, build a winning structure, remain motivated, and, ultimately, get your life together.

If you’d like to read more about how I can help you stay accountable, you can find more information on my coaching page.

1. Practice Mindfulness and GratitudeSpeaking of self-sabotage, one of the most common assailants that stop people from stepping into authenticity is their own self-limiting beliefs – thoughts like “I’m not good enough”, “I’m going to fail” or “I’m too afraid to try.”

While we can’t control the thoughts that enter our minds, we can choose how we respond, and that’s where the power of mindfulness and gratitude comes into play.

What Is MindfulnessMindfulness is a beautifully simple way to cultivate stillness and bring awareness to the fact that you are not your thoughts.

To practice mindfulness, all you need is a couple of minutes and a quiet room. Sit comfortably and pay attention to your breathing. Notice the thoughts that breeze through your mind, bringing your attention back to your breath whenever your mind starts to wander.

If you need some help with this, apps like Headspace are great for guiding you through the meditation process.

I also recommend practicing daily gratitude to support your well being and foster a positive mindset. As studies from UCLA show, people who regularly practice gratitude are proven to be happier, calmer, and healthier.

I’ve written about this in a lot of detail. So if you want some really effective, science-backed gratitude exercises, start there.

1. Regularly Assess and AdjustPart of the beauty of being human is that we are constantly becoming. We are always growing, evolving, and learning. Bearing this in mind, know that it’s more than okay if your dreams and ambitions change as you move toward your truest self.

After all, it’s only by embracing adventure and moving beyond our comfort zones that we learn who we are and what we need.

So, make time at least once a month to check in with yourself and your emotions, asking questions like:

• Am I becoming the most bold, fearless version of myself?
• What does success look like according to who I am at this moment?
• Do I need to add, strike, or adapt any of my goals based on these answers?

By regularly assessing and adjusting your goals, you’ll ensure you remain on the road towards your authentic self.

You Have One Life. Make It Extraordinary!Audacious goals, dreams, and transformations are exhilarating but difficult to achieve.

The strategic expertise, accountability, and encouragement of a trained coach can make all the difference.

So, schedule a coaching session today to kickstart the journey towards your best year – and best self – yet.

When you’re ready, I’m here to help!

The post How to Get Your Life Together: 10 Surprisingly Simple Steps appeared first on SoulSalt.

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Have you ever felt pressure to go with the flow – to avoid speaking out about something that didn’t feel right to you? You knew what you wanted to say, but were afraid to say it because of how it might be received.

And in the end, you didn’t say anything, or you said something that simply didn’t align with your core values.

How did that make you feel?

Probably not so great. This is because when you say things that aren’t aligned with what you believe – when you don’t speak your truth – you’re doing a fundamental disservice to what you know to be true and good.

If you find yourself not speaking your truth regularly, you might need to recalibrate one or more areas of your life.

Speaking your truth often means speaking up when it’s uncomfortable. But it’s an incredibly powerful and transformative experience, one that aligns you with your inner compass and the universe around you.

Let’s explore how to do it.

What Does It Mean to Speak Your Truth?To speak your truth, you need to reconnect with the essence of who you are. This is your most authentic self – the person you were meant to be.

Your True YouYour authentic self is a unique, beautiful tapestry of your values, hopes and dreams, passions and superpowers.

Once you’ve rediscovered your authentic self, the next part of speaking your truth is sharing who you are.

You have to be unabashed with the world by pursuing your dreams, setting meaningful, thrilling goals, and making decisions that align with the core of who you are and who you’re meant to be.

Unfortunately, a lot of us aren’t particularly fluent in the language of our truth – which means we’re living out of alignment with who we truly are.

We can’t articulate why a successful career is making us feel hollow. We’re afraid to rock the boat in an unfulfilling relationship. We don’t want to be ungrateful and we secretly desire more out of life, but we’re scared of the alternative if we do voice our dissatisfaction.

Societal influences, other people’s opinions, and our own limiting self-beliefs can all drown out the sound of our truest selves.

Over time and if left unchecked, you may not even be able to hear your truth at all anymore – it can be reduced to a meek whisper.

Now, you need to figure out how to turn the volume up again.

Why Telling Your Truth Is ImportantIf you feel like something is missing, like life isn’t all you hoped it would be, then you are misaligned from your truth. When you betray yourself, you wind up feeling isolated and disenchanted with life.

You may experience low self-esteem, feelings of guilt and shame, or chronic tiredness and low mood. All of these emotions indicate that you’ve lost touch with your true self.

Thankfully, it’s never too late to start telling your truth and, the sooner you do it, the more joyful, fulfilling, and meaningful life will feel.

How to Speak Your TruthAlthough speaking your truth is the key to living a badass, awesome life, most people never quite get there. In fact, according to Dr. Robert Kegan, a Harvard psychologist, about 65% of people never fully step into authenticity, or what he terms self-authorship.

This is because learning to speak your truth can be, well, hard.

• It takes raw honesty to conduct a life audit.
• It takes courage to go against other people’s expectations and live unapologetically.
• It takes mental toughness to achieve daunting goals and chase the life of your dreams.

But, as the saying goes, nothing worth having comes easy – and this is the case for speaking your truth. It’s one of the most worthy, rewarding capabilities you could ever cultivate, and a surefire way to reach fulfillment, find your purpose, and unleash contentment.

So, with that in mind, here are three steps to get started:

1. Discover and Honor Your Unique Personal NeedsJust like we all have fundamental needs for things like sleep, water, food, and shelter, we also have more nuanced, soul-level needs that nourish us spiritually, emotionally, and cognitively.

I call these needs our unique personal needs.

Unique Personal NeedsUnique personal needs or UPNs are the activities and behaviors that we NEED to engage in regularly to find life wonderful, fulfilling, and vibrant.

Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t know what your UPNs are. It’s very common to become out of touch with them as we get older because external influences like work, financial concerns, and other people’s needs often overshadow our own.

Many of us don’t know how to speak up and take up space for our own needs. Often, because we don’t know what these needs are, we don’t take them seriously, or we think of them as “nice-to-haves” rather than essential needs that allow us to feel like ourselves.

To reconnect to your UPNs, try looking at the “why” behind your core values – it’s often there that you’ll discover your underlying UPNs.

For example, say freedom is one of your core values. This could mean that one of your UPNs centers around having room to be nimble so you can move quickly and try new things. In a rigid schedule or environment, you might struggle.

Alternatively, if you greatly value growth, this could indicate you need to overcome challenges to feel fulfilled. When things are too easy, you might feel out of alignment.

1. Shed Limiting Self-BeliefsOne of the major challenges I help my clients overcome on the journey to speaking their truth is learning to separate themselves from the self-limiting beliefs that are holding them back. They don’t believe what they want is possible, so they keep quiet about it.

You probably have a few self-limiting beliefs you need to work on – we all do.

What Are Your Limiting Beliefs?* I’m not good enough? * I’m scared to fail? * I’m not smart enough? * I don’t like change? All of these self-critical thoughts can stop you from following your dreams and speaking your truth, which is why it’s so important to take intentional charge of your belief system and clear out any faulty limiting beliefs.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Over the next week, keep a regular journal and note down self-limiting beliefs as they arise.
2. Pick one or two of your beliefs for conscious rewiring. Notice every time negative self-talk creeps in and become aware of specific situations or people that trigger the limiting belief.

3. Commit to recalibrating your self-limiting belief with an expansive one. For example, if your self-limiting belief is “I don’t have time,” counteract that limiting statement with an empowering one like “I will carve out time by prioritizing tasks with daily planning.”

4. Define What Success Means to YOUArmed with the knowledge of your UPNs and a commitment to recalibrating your self-limiting beliefs, it’s time to define what success really means to the truest version of you, and then create meaningful goals that catapult you in that direction.

Start SmallDefining your vision for success can feel overwhelming and daunting, which is why it’s wise to start small.

Here’s an exercise from the SoulSalt book to help. Once you complete the “start small” exercise, you can progress to the follow-up exercise in Chapter 8, which is all about defining success for a lifetime:

1. Stop where you are and contemplate how you’ll define success for tomorrow. Simply consider the following questions about your next day:
   1. What would your values say if they could define success for tomorrow?
   2. What strengths would you use if they could rule your day and leave you feeling successful?
   3. What UPNs might get met so you can sense these elements of winning your day?
   4. What would one of your beliefs or personal philosophies ask you to do to feel like you’ve won the day?
2. Look over your answers. Pick one, two, or more and transform that into a metric of success for tomorrow. For example, your goal could be to win the day feeling satisfied, shut off the computer at 6:30 pm, and have two big items ticked off your task list. Now, go live that day and see how it feels.

Ready to Discover Your True Self?Speaking your truth requires you to be radically honest and channel your core values whenever you speak or act – and this isn’t always easy.

But I’m here to help.

My new book will help you uncover what motivates you, find your why, define and achieve your long-term goals, and ultimately plot a roadmap to reaching your full potential – as the truest, most badass version of you.

Get your copy here!

The post Speaking Your Truth: Why It’s Essential and 3 Ways to Do It appeared first on SoulSalt.

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How do you measure success?  Is it by the car you drive, your job title, or your salary?  If so, you might want to take a moment to recalibrate your metrics. Because here’s the thing – measuring your success based on material things will probably leave you feeling empty, like something is missing. There’s no […]

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If you’re reading this it’s because you want to follow your heart’s dreams.

There’s a stirring inside you – a call for something more, a desire to reach your full potential and live as the authentic, awesome you.

But something’s holding you back, right?

Maybe you can’t quite pinpoint your heart’s desires, or fear has trapped you in a cage. That’s okay! All of us are simply human, and chasing our dreams is big, scary stuff. Doing so takes bravery, grit, and a willingness to take a risk on something that might not work out.

But following your dreams – even in spite of the risks – is a worthy, beautiful journey – one that leads to personal fulfillment, self-confidence, and inner peace.

If that sounds like a worthwhile pursuit, then let me show you how to move from dreaming to doing.

Why Dreams Are Important in Life

“Dreams are illustrations… from the book your soul is writing about you.”

Marsha Norman

The human imagination is a beautiful, mysterious thing that can literally transform the world. If you look around you, almost everything you interact with started out as somebody’s bold dream.

SoulSalt was my dream, the phone or laptop you’re reading on was someone else’s, and the lightbulb was Thomas Edison’s! Everything in our world is built on the actions of people who dared to chase their dreams.

And in spite of this fact, many of us hesitate to move toward our fullest potential. We make excuses, play it safe, and doubt ourselves and our abilities. It feels safe to kick the can down the road in the short term, but this actually hurts us in the long run.

Research from The New School found that people are far more likely to regret what they could’ve done but didn’t rather than what they did wrong.

Make Mistakes, Don’t Miss OpportunitiesResearch from The New School found that people are far more likely to regret what they could’ve done but didn’t rather than what they did wrong.

This finding illustrates something your soul probably already knows to be true – chasing your dreams is worth the risk.

In fact, it’s the secret to a life well lived.

After all, each one of us has unique personal needs that need nurturing for happiness and contentment. Chasing our dreams is one of the ways we can get in touch with our deepest values, empowering us to create a life that we truly want and enjoy.

How to Follow Your Dreams: 5 Effective Ways to Become a Dream Chaser

“Believe you can, and you’re halfway there”

Theodore Roosevelt

For most of us, dreaming up ideas is easy – but actually putting those ideas into action is the tricky part.

For decades, I’ve studied the science of achieving dreams – what holds us back and what helps us take action. I’ve developed a reliable playbook of strategies for discovering your most meaningful dreams and finding the courage to go after them.

These tips will help you uncover what motivates you, define your dreams, and plot a roadmap to get you there.

1. Identify the Salt of Your SoulSometimes, our dreams don’t manifest as a clear vision. Instead, they show up as a feeling that something is missing, even though you’re not quite sure what that something is. If that sounds like you, try this exercise.

Take a pen and paper and sit somewhere cozy and quiet for five minutes. Write freely about your heart’s dreams – the salt of your soul – without judgment.

Don’t hold back! Write whatever comes to mind and see what spills out on the page. At the end of the exercise, you’ll probably have uncovered some deep-seated aspirations you’ve forgotten about over time.

If you found that exercise a little tough, try answering these questions to kickstart your dream exploration:

• If you could do anything in the world without worrying about money, what would that be?
• What adventures and activities do you enjoy, and why?
• When you envision your best self, what does a typical day look like for them?
• What ignites your curiosity?

2. Transform Your Dream Into a GoalA wish is just a wish unless you do the work. So, once you’ve set your heart on your dream, it’s time to create a plan to move from vision to reality.

How? Through concrete goal-setting.

Setting a goal is much more than just saying, for example, “I’m going to quit my job and start a business.” While that’s a worthy goal, it’s way too big to tackle.

To set yourself up for success, break your goal down into small, digestible chunks with start and end dates. Not only will this make chasing your dreams more manageable, but it also has neuroscience-backed benefits!

Small Victories Move Us ForwardResearch shows that our brains release motivational chemicals – most importantly dopamine – every time we successfully complete a task.

By creating several smaller goals, you can effectively convince your brain and soul to move on to each successive task and boost internal motivation.

In this case of quitting your job to start a business, you might break down that mammoth task into the following small, achievable steps:

• Research one competitor each day for a week
• Write down 10 business name ideas
• Make a list of resources available to you (savings, contacts, knowledge, skills)
• Reach out to a potential mentor for coffee
• Put together a study of your target market by the end of the month

3. Find Your TribeAs the saying goes, no person is an island. When you start following your dreams, you’re going to want to nurture a network of supportive people who have your back.

In fact, studies show that sharing your goals with a loved one improves your chances of succeeding.

But be careful about who you share your goals with. Choose friends and family who genuinely care about your happiness and want to see you succeed. As well as reaching out to those closest to you, you could also look at expanding your professional circle.

There are a wealth of people out there just like you who are starting the noble journey of chasing their dreams. Sharing your struggles and successes with each other is a wonderful way to fuel your drive and move toward your most authentic self.

4. Be Fierce About FailureHere’s the thing – you don’t get stronger by only fighting battles you know you’re going to win.

When you start chasing your dreams, you will run into obstacles.

Chasings Dreams Means Overcoming FailureThese ‘failures’ are really just stepping stones to success, so stay true to yourself and don’t get disheartened. No one ever achieved anything great on the first try – it was built on the backs of a thousand invisible failures.

If you do suffer a setback, it can be helpful to read the stories of people who have successfully trodden the brave path you’re taking. Any successful entrepreneur, executive, or creative will undoubtedly have stories of the hard work and blunders they experienced on the road to where they are now.

The difference between them and other people? They cultivated grit and resilience. They believed in themselves. They didn’t give up. They kept on trying.

That’s not to say they didn’t feel down when they encountered a roadblock. Feeling your feelings is healthy and normal – and something I very much advocate!

But disappointment should be combined with self-compassion and self-love. Believe that things will work out for you and that you’re worthy of an extraordinary life.

5. Recalibrate Old Thought PatternsStepping outside of our comfort zones can bring up a lot of insecurities and fears. As you begin moving towards your higher self, you may experience old thought patterns in your head, telling lies about what you can’t do or who you’ll never be.

These self-limiting beliefs are unhelpful and, more importantly, untrue.

Our thoughts are incredibly powerful. What you believe, you become. This is why it’s so important to silence mean, unhelpful thoughts and cultivate a new mental soundtrack. Your internal monologue should be like a cheerleader, empowering you to step into your best, most gracious self.

Unhealthy Habits That Could Derail Your Dreams

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

Don’t Give Up!According to the University of Scranton, an astounding 92% of people give up on their goals.

Isn’t that crazy? So many of us out there have dreams that never become a reality.

While that statistic might be slightly overwhelming to think about, it’s also something you can overcome.

But becoming one of the 8% who successfully achieves their dreams isn’t about making herculean life shifts, it’s about cultivating small daily habits and, more importantly, unlearning bad habits that are holding you back.

Here are some of the unhealthy habits to beware of that could sabotage your dreams.

1. Giving up When the Going Gets ToughBuilding the life of your dreams is going to take some hard work. It can mean working late nights, facing criticism, and making difficult choices. At times, you’ll feel like throwing the towel in and sinking back into the comfort of risk-averse normality.

Here’s the secret, though. When you feel like giving up, remind yourself not to forfeit what you want in the future just because the current task feels undesirable.

Sacrifice means doing something difficult for future gain. By working hard now, you’ll see exponential returns in the future.

So keep the future You in your mind and act each day in a way that will make them proud. You’ll thank yourself for it!

2. Listening to Dream SnatchersWhen you start pursuing an extraordinary life, not all of the people around you are abundant in support, love, and care.

Stay the Course!Sometimes, when people see someone in their life expanding their potential, it dredges up their own insecurities and fears.

This causes them to act not with support, but with criticism, snarky remarks, and unkind comments.

Of course, not every person who criticizes does so out of malice. Some may be inherently risk-averse and genuinely concerned about you leaping into the unknown because it’s something they would never do.

Whether opinions are well-intentioned or not, they can get you down. External negativity can stir all sorts of doubts and fear in our minds.

When you experience criticism, it’s wise to take it with a pinch of salt. Consider what the other person is saying and assess whether there’s any genuinely valuable wisdom in their words that can help you.

If there is, take it on board – but ignore any unkind or unhelpful remarks. After all, you need to listen to your heart. Any other path is someone else’s dream.

3. Neglecting Self-CareWe live in a hustle culture that can be damaging to mental health. The undue emphasis on productivity, sacrifice, and success can quickly lead to burnout and anxiety – something that 77% of us experienced in 2022, according to Deloitte.

When we’re overwhelmed, we’re more likely to lose heart and forego our dreams. So, resist the urge to fall into the trap of thinking you must chase your dreams every second of the day.

Rest and play are just as crucial to attaining your goals as doing the work is. Things like sleep, laughing with your partner, and eating healthy, balanced meals are super important.

In fact, one study found that sleep directly and immediately impacts the quality of life, so be mindful of pushing yourself beyond your limits.

As important as hard work is, so is taking time to care for yourself. When you feel yourself coming close to your limit, take a moment to breathe, reassess and give yourself time to rest.

Ready to Embark on the Path Towards Fulfillment?Your dreams are within your reach – all you need now is the courage to try and the resilience to persevere.

Want a little help with turning your dreams into reality?

I’ve created a field guide for discovering your heart’s dreams and going after them – it’s designed to help you navigate with purpose toward a fulfilling life.

Get your copy here.

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You may have heard the story of two wolves. It’s often used to illustrate the internal conflict between good and evil. But it’s also a powerful story about limiting beliefs.

One day, a grandfather shares some timeless wisdom with his young grandson.

He says: “In life, there are two wolves inside of us, always at battle. One wolf is love, kindness, bravery, and empathy. The other is fear, greed, and cynicism. The same fight is happening inside you and every other person, too.”

The boy ponders over what his grandfather has said and then asks: “But grandfather, which wolf wins?”

The grandfather replies: “Whichever one you feed.”

Examining your own headspace, which wolf do you feed on a daily basis?

Are you living your life from a place of courage and inspiration, or are you trapped by negativity and doubt?

If it’s the latter, your limiting beliefs are winning. They’ve been eating well for a long time, inhibiting you from orienting yourself toward purpose, fulfillment, and confidence.

The good news is that you can change this by learning how to feed the other wolf.

What Are Limiting Beliefs?We all have beliefs; they’re the things we accept as true but cannot prove. Some beliefs are beneficial; they give us self-confidence and spur us forward.

Limiting Beliefs Hold Us BackLimiting beliefs can severely affect our self-worth. They are narratives we tell ourselves about our capabilities and the world around us that stop us from living the lives we truly desire.

These beliefs are the essence of the fearful wolf: thoughts laced with doubt, cynicism, and negativity that narrow our minds, keep us in our comfort zones, and stop us from unleashing our potential.

Often, limiting beliefs are subconscious and entrenched, making them tricky to identify and even more challenging to uproot. But the good news is you can overcome them with practice, heart, and some practical tools I will share with you today.

The Lineage of Limiting Beliefs In his revolutionary book The Biology of Belief, Bruce Lipton asserts that “95% of our beliefs and thereby behaviors are hardwired into our subconscious by age seven.”

By this time, we’ve already built a mental web of beliefs that will stay with us throughout our lives – unless we try to modify them proactively.

You might think: “I can’t even remember being five or six, so I don’t know how I could’ve gathered any limited beliefs by then!”

Well, as it turns out, our young subconscious minds are like recording devices with the “record” button constantly on. Just like a sponge, we would’ve constantly been soaking up all the data in the world around us – things we were told, heard, and saw.

However, given our young age, we would not have practiced critical thinking and formulated our beliefs based on these experiences. Instead, they made direct imprints on our psyche, leaving perceptions and misperceptions about the world around us that we probably still believe today.

Whether you had a wonderful childhood or a challenging one, I believe most of us have self-limiting beliefs that we need to replace with empowering ones. After all, the young mind is highly malleable – just one negative experience could leave wounds that last a lifetime.

The first step towards recalibrating your mind’s belief system? Discovering where your limiting beliefs lie.

How to Identify Limiting Beliefs Imagine Your Mind Is a GardenEmpowering beliefs are flowers that help you to bloom and grow. Limiting beliefs are harmful weeds, stealing mental nourishment and sowing negativity.

The challenge is figuring out which of your thought patterns are flowers and which are weeds.

Maybe you already have an idea of some of your limited beliefs, or perhaps you’re starting from scratch. With the tips below, you’ll start noticing the weeds that pop up in your mind time and time again.

1. Keep a Daily Journal Our thoughts and emotions often go hand in hand. When you feel sad, angry, or afraid, your mind is probably feeding you a narrative that fuels your feelings.

Decoding the relationship between your moods and thoughts is an excellent way to uncover limiting beliefs. At the end of each day, observe how you feel in a journal and try to uncover the thoughts that coincided with this feeling.

The more frequently you write in your journal, the more opportunity you’ll have to notice the recurring negative thought loops in your experience.

2. Revisit Your Hopes and Dreams If you could do anything – without fear of judgment, failure, or money worries – what would you do?

Next – why aren’t you trying to do it already? Answer that, and you’ll uncover some of the entrenched limited beliefs holding you back.

Another way of trying this exercise is the Fill-In-The-Blank method.

Think of an aspiration you’ve put on the sidelines or a project you’re currently struggling with. Then, fill in the blank at the end of the sentence.

Here’s an example:

I can’t get the promotion I want because _________________.

Say the sentence out loud and resist the urge to be self-critical. Whatever you fill in the blank with indicates one of your limiting beliefs.

3. Consider Agreements You’ve Broken With Yourself At some point or another, we’ve all gone off track with our goals. Many people, for example, sign up for the gym at the start of the year, only to cancel their memberships by February.

Think about the agreements you’ve made with yourself that you’ve failed to keep over the years. It could be starting a side hustle, upping your fitness, or reading more.

Once you’ve honed in on a few of these sidetracked resolutions, ask yourself why you gave up.

Be honest, raw, and vulnerable – the answer will point directly to a self-limiting belief.

4. Speak With a Professional If, after these exercises, you’re struggling to identify your limiting beliefs or feel overwhelmed by them, seeking support from a trained professional like a therapist or life coach is a great idea.

These empathetic practitioners draw on a range of techniques and exercises to help people untangle their limiting beliefs, improve their self-esteem, and live more rewarding lives.

Examples of Some Powerful Limiting BeliefsLet’s take a look at common examples of some of the most powerful – and also most damaging – self-limiting beliefs.

Note that this isn’t an exclusive list. While these beliefs are some of the most prevalent out there, limiting convictions come in all shapes and sizes.

1. I’m Not Good/Smart/Creative/Young EnoughLimiting beliefs often revolve around hurtful self-talk. You may hinder yourself from chasing your dreams because you don’t believe you’re good enough or self-critically compare yourself to others.

This kind of self-talk is really harmful. When you tell yourself you’re not good enough, you lower your self-esteem and deny your innate desires.

Left unchecked for long enough, this limiting thinking can dent your self-confidence and lead to a deep, uneasy feeling that something is missing.

2. I Don’t Have Time

“Time is a created thing. To say ‘I don’t have time’ is like saying, ‘I don’t want to.”

Lao Tzu

If you’ve been putting off starting a business, writing a novel, or applying for a new role because of a lack of time, I challenge you to go deeper. After all, most of us do have time.

If you manage to watch Netflix, catch up with friends on the weekends, and regularly go on vacation, you have time – it’s just that you’re using it for other things.

The reasons for this can be multiple:

• Fear of failure
• Being comfortable with the status quo
• Not wanting to put yourself out there

The point is, it’s rarely time that’s the issue in these instances. It’s your limiting beliefs stopping you from moving forwards.

3. I’m Scared of Making Mistakes Many individuals who feel unhappy in their current situation never make a change because they’re afraid of failure and making mistakes. But letting fear hold you back is one of the greatest mistakes you can make.

When we don’t take action toward our goals and dreams, we set ourselves up for a life of unfulfillment.

Of course, pursuing any new opportunity will lead to mistakes along the way. But mistakes aren’t bad. They’re lessons: opportunities to acquire new skills, learn new things, and grow as a person.

4. I’m HelplessLife is inherently full of ups and downs. Often, what happens to us is out of our control, but how we respond is within our autonomy.

However, some people fail to take responsibility for their thoughts and actions. Instead of taking control of their life, they see themselves as victims. They blame the world for their problems and feel helpless as a result.

This is a difficult way to live. By letting external circumstances dictate your happiness, you deny your own power and block your potential.

To live a badass life, you must take radical responsibility for your thoughts, behaviors, and actions. Trust me, you have a lot more grit and resilience than you realize.

5. I Don’t Like Change A lot of people dislike change. We get comfortable in the familiarity and safety of routine. But here’s the thing – living an extraordinary life requires taking risks.

Falling in love, starting a business, and pursuing our dreams all require us to embrace change and step outside of our comfort zones.

It might be uncomfortable, but that doesn’t mean change is bad. Change feels hard because it challenges us to grow and open ourselves to new experiences.

While this feels intimidating, the outcome is well worth it. When we follow our hearts and pursue change with curiosity and an open mind, we embrace life to the fullest and unlock a more profound sense of purpose.

How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs: Becoming the Author of Your Belief SystemTo reach self-actualization and live a meaningful life, you must take charge of your belief system and erase the faulty limiting beliefs taking up your headspace.

Of course, shaking the beliefs you’ve held close from childhood will take work, but it’s entirely possible.

Hammer Our Your SuccessNeuroscience shows us that our brains are highly malleable at any age and we can actually reconfigure our thought patterns, replacing unhelpful beliefs with empowering ones.

Here’s how to do it.

1. Commit to Self-Authorship Former Harvard Psychologist Dr. Robert Kegan proposed that adults can potentially go through five distinct developmental stages – although many never make it past stage three.

Stage four is what Kegan called the Self Authoring Mind – a state of being where we separate our identity and belief systems from the opinions and expectations of other people and society.

You can cultivate a self-authored mindset by proactively crafting your values and identity.

Spend some time thinking about what really matters to you regardless of external expectations. Ask yourself the following questions:

• What causes stir your heart?
• Who do you want to be?
• When do you feel most like your true self?

Answering these questions will help you align with your unique internal compass.

2. Choose One or Two Beliefs That No Longer Serve You From regular journaling and self-reflection, you will have started to uncover some of the limiting beliefs stopping you from embracing your most authentic, highest self.

Now, I want you to pick one or two of these beliefs for conscious rewiring. Start small – noticing every time negative self-talk creeps in and writing it down. You may find that specific situations or people trigger this limiting belief.

The more familiar you become with how these unhelpful thoughts show up in your life, the better prepared you’ll be to recalibrate them. This leads us to the next step.

3. Release Yourself From the Limiting BeliefIt’s time to replace your limiting belief with an expansive one. This takes time, practice, and dedication to untangle unhelpful thought patterns and reconfigure them.

I recommend a four-step process to get started:

1. Look at the limited belief you’ve chosen to rewire and speak with a friend, family member, or coach to formulate a new view that opposes your old one. For example:

Limiting belief: “I don’t have enough time to pursue my passion.”

Empowering belief: “I will carve out time by prioritizing tasks with *daily planning.”*

1. Over the next two weeks, make a note every time you catch yourself reverting to your limited belief. Each time this happens, consciously counteract the limiting belief with your new empowering conviction.

2. At the end of the time period, check in with your support system, exploring what you’ve learned about your beliefs, any obstacles you’ve faced, and what worked well.

3. Keep repeating this process until you’ve incorporated your new belief into your internal framework.

4. Commit to Regularly Reviewing Your Belief SystemRemember the story of the wolves I mentioned in the introduction? The exercise I’ve outlined above is all about helping you feed the courageous wolf instead of the fearful one.

With that in mind, I’d like you to commit to regularly reviewing your beliefs to find where limited thinking and systemic misperceptions may still lie. This will help you ensure you remain the author of your life and live in accordance with your core values.

As you continue digging up old fruitless beliefs and replacing them with beneficial ones, you’ll actually rewire your brain. Over time, you’ll find yourself naturally thinking optimistically, embracing new challenges, and becoming the best version of yourself.

Ready to Live an Expansive Life? Letting go of limiting beliefs is like breaking free from a cage – enabling you to rise into your self-worth, reconnect with your soul and operate at a higher frequency.

In my new book, I’ve developed a field guide full of exercises to help you revise your belief system and discover the path toward purpose and personal fulfillment.

Get the SoulSalt book here.

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Feeling stuck?

Maybe you’re realizing your work isn’t fulfilling and considering a career change. Or maybe you feel that you simply aren’t doing enough of what you love on a daily basis. Your job might be paying the bills and you might be good at it, but the strengths and skills it requires are leaving you unsatisfied and drained.

This is a difficult position to be in – because being good at something doesn’t mean you should keep doing it.

But finding what you’re good at is more than just honing in on your strengths and weaknesses – it’s about discovering and nurturing the unique superpowers that light up your soul and make you who you are.

Not sure what your superpowers are yet? That’s okay – I’ll guide you through the process of discovering them below.

The Significance of Your Superpowers We all have many superpowers within us. You may already have an inkling about what some of these strengths are, or you could be completely in the dark.

Regardless, it’s crucial to discover and understand your superpowers.

Doing things that we’re good at and enjoy are two of the most essential ingredients to a happy life, and it’s easy to see why.

Better Work-Life BalanceWhen our tasks feel effortless and enjoyable, we’re more efficient, satisfied, and productive. The result is enhanced job satisfaction and a better work-life balance.

But maximizing our superpowers is quite difficult to do. A report from Gallup shows that job unhappiness is at an all-time high, indicating most of us aren’t leaning into our superpowers enough.

When you think that we spend over 92,000 hours at work throughout our careers, you see just how significant nourishing our superpowers become. If we want to live healthy, meaningful, balanced lives, finding what we’re good at isn’t just a nice to have – it’s imperative.

Beware Your Pseudo-StrengthsI’m going to let you in on a secret that could change your life – just because you’re “technically” good at something doesn’t mean you have to make it the focus of your career.

Every one of us has at least a couple of pseudo-strengths.

What Are Pseudo-StrengthsFrom the outside in, these strengths look like genuine superpowers. However, performing these tasks actually saps our energy, leaving us feeling dissatisfied and drained.

By contrast, when we tap into our authentic superpowers, we’re able to move from a place of enthusiasm and joy, meaning performing tasks tends to come easily.

Find Your SuperpowersAs we’ve already noted, your superpowers need to be something you’re good at and something you enjoy doing – but that’s not all.

The Japanese concept of Ikigai – a reason for being – posits that unleashing your superpowers comes from the sweet spot of four strategies:

• Do what you love
• Do what the world needs
• Do what you can be paid for
• Do what you’re good at

How to Use IkigaiWith Ikigai in mind, we can see that discovering our superpowers is about using the skills that bring us innate joy in service of others while also, of course, looking after our own hierarchy of needs.

I want to emphasize that the work we do when using our superpowers won’t always be a walk in the park. Life is inherently full of challenges, but leaning into your superpowers will empower you to navigate hurdles with grace, courage, and purpose.

So, with all that in mind, go beyond asking yourself: “What am I good at?” and also ask: “Which of these skills are worth nurturing?”

Manage Your Weaknesses At the same time you’re finding your superpowers, remember to become aware of your weaknesses.

What Are Your Weaknesses?These are tasks that you find endlessly difficult and downright drain your energy. Understanding and managing these weaknesses is vital to feeding your superpowers.

With SoulSalt, for example, I’ve managed my weakness by hiring my longtime friend and colleague, Shannon, to lead operations and administration.

Scheduling is one of my Achilles’ heels and one of her superpowers – she is truly amazing at it. In fact, it’s one of the reasons why SoulSalt has survived and has thrived over the years despite periods of global uncertainty.

How to Find What You’re Good At: Understanding What Might Superpowers Look LikeEveryone’s superpowers are slightly unique, depending on their experiences, values, and goals.

Saying this, in my experience of coaching hundreds of individuals to take control of their lives, I’ve seen a few significant superpowers that crop up time and time again, including:

CreativityBe it a panache for painting or rapid-fire idea generation, creativity is a beautiful superpower that fuels innovation, growth, and art.

LeadershipThe desire to drive change, motivate people, and take on responsibility are typical qualities in those that have leadership as a superpower. While developing this skill takes courage and vulnerability, the positive impact you can have makes the challenge well worth it.

EmpathyDo you often just ‘get’ how other people feel? If so, you may be an empath, someone who intuitively understands the inner worlds and emotions of others, with the beautiful ability to make people feel seen, heard, and understood.

Analytical ThinkingIn today’s fast-paced world, thinking analytically and solving problems logically is a tremendous capability. If you find that you enjoy absorbing information and fine-tuning concepts in your mind, this may be one of your superpowers.

OrganizationOur world would descend into chaos without structure, rules, and organization. Thankfully, many of us have the innate superpower of organization – an uncanny ability to create and refine systems that maximize efficiency.

Learning to Define The Things You’re Good AtIn this section, I’ll give you some must-know tips and tricks to uncover things you can be good at.

1. Notice and Combat Your Inner CriticLimiting BeliefsMake a vow to work on your limiting self-beliefs. Try things like talking to yourself like you would a close friend, fostering a growth mindset, and manifesting positive outcomes.

If you find that you still struggle to get out of your head, it could be helpful to talk with an experienced professional like a coach or therapist, who can help you to break the habit of negative self-talk.

Remember, learning to control your thoughts takes time, practice, and effort, but it really is crucial if you want to unleash your superpowers.

2. Do Something That Scares You

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

If you’re not sure what your superpowers are, it may be that you haven’t had a chance to put them to good use yet! With that in mind, I challenge you to regularly try out something that scares you.

Yes, exiting your comfort zone feels unpleasant, but it’s also a surefire way to help you grow, learn new things and hone in on your superpowers.

Try small things like asking your boss for constructive feedback or performing at an open mic. Go in the direction of whatever stirs your soul and scares you simultaneously.

3. Reflect On Past ExperiencesOur past experiences are a treasure trove of lessons that provide hints to our superpowers.

Cast your mind back to a time in your life when you felt really proud of yourself.

Highlight Your Best Moments* What did you achieve? * What skills did you use? * What about the situation made you feel fulfilled? Looking back on positive memories and asking these questions can help you to pinpoint some of your unique superpowers.

For each memory, you could even write the skill you’ve identified down and create a word cloud. I’ll bet certain skills come up time and time again, meaning they’re definitely important superpowers!

4. Embrace Enjoyment A lot of us know what we’re good at – but we take these things for granted.

Let’s say you’re really good at planning dinner parties and love organizing events for your children’s school.

From those nuggets of information, I’d hazard a guess that you’re terrific at event planning and building relationships. Often, we’re aware of our superpowers – we’re just too humble to realize how truly super they are!

With that in mind, review the things you enjoy doing and also do frequently, then ask: “what underlying superpowers could I attribute to these activities?”

5. Unlock the Power of Vulnerability Another way to shine a light on your strengths is to ask your friends and family what they think you’re good at.

Lower Your GuardIt can be scary to be vulnerable and let your guard down. But time and time again, my clients who’ve had these conversations with their loved ones have found the dialogue incredibly nourishing and rewarding.

Not only have they received wonderful compliments and learned more about themselves, but these deeper questions also opened the door for more intimate, soul-quenching conversations and authentic relationships.

6. Become an Explorer There are tens of online assessments out there designed to help you get to know yourself better. The DISC assessment, Myerrs Briggs Personality test, and our Core Value quiz are great places to start.

At the end of these tests, you’ll receive a host of insights explaining what your answers show about your personality preferences, alongside strengths and weaknesses.

At a high level, they can be valuable for helping you define your superpowers in more detail. However, don’t treat the results of these tests as set in stone. Instead, take the insights that resonate most with you, and stay on the lookout for new discoveries.

7. What Warms Your Heart? As Frederick Buechner famously wrote, your superpowers lie in “the place where your deepest joy meets the world’s deepest need.”

Do Good And Feel GoodWhen did you last do something that made your heart warm with compassion and purpose?

It could’ve been something like helping an older person cross the street or being there for a friend when they needed it most. Whatever lit up your soul, chances are you were using a unique superpower at the time without even realizing it.

8. Become a Student of Life I’m a big advocate of nurturing a growth mindset; the belief that we, as people, have limitless potential and, in turn, limitless superpowers.

To that end, finding out what we’re good at is about much more than sticking to what we were good at while at school – it’s about broadening our horizons, learning new skills, and expanding our superpowers over time.

By pursuing further education opportunities, we open ourselves up to new possibilities. Be it reading a personal development book, taking an online course, or attending a SoulSalt bootcamp, commit to being a lifelong student and discovering new superpowers as you go.

1. Stay True to Your ValuesOur core values are the needles of our soul compasses. They illuminate the road toward a rich and meaningful life. While our core values aren’t superpowers in themselves, they can help orient our lives in the right direction.

Once you’ve identified the values and beliefs that resonate most with you, you can begin to think about potential superpowers that match. Often, our values naturally feed into our strengths.

For example, if someone closely values altruism and humanity, they will likely excel at empathy and compassion. Similarly, say you prize endurance and invention, I’ll bet you’re a fearless, original thinker.

Bringing Out Your Best: Honing Your StrengthsOnce you’ve identified your superpowers, it’s time to put them into action. Just as your physical muscles only grow if you train them regularly, you’ll need to regularly use your superpowers to strengthen and develop them.

Some people are lucky enough to be able to use their superpowers in their day-to-day jobs, while others engage in side hustles and part-time passions to let their strengths shine.

No matter your circumstances, infusing your superpowers into your daily life is vital. By finding what you’re good at and using these talents to make the world a better place, you’ll start to live a life full of wonder, meaning, and purpose.

Need more support in uncovering your superpowers? In my new book, I’ll guide you through the powerful process of identifying your superpowers and showing you exactly how to implement them in your life.

Get your copy here.

The post What Am I Good At? 9 Powerful Ways to Find Out appeared first on SoulSalt.

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What is a why? It’s a question I get asked often – and one that can be tricky to answer.

If you’ve ever taken a stand for something or driven yourself to exhaustion aiming for a dream, then you have a why.

If you’ve set a boundary and enforced it, or opened your heart to someone or something that surprised you, you may have yet another why.

I’m talking about what motivates you to do what you’re doing at this stage of your life – it’s an endeavor that you’re focused on.

Whether it’s focusing on your family, switching careers, or digging into an exciting new project, your why can lead you in many directions.

If you’re feeling unmotivated, you’ve lost track of your why. It’s time to find out what lights you up now, because chances are, it’s different from the past.

Below I’m going to show you how purpose is vital to living a fulfilling life, and show you a number of ways to find your why.

Originally published on March 8th, 2018, this article was updated and republished on March 15th, 2023.

Defining Your Why: It’s Way More Than a Motivational StrategyWhy do you need a why?

Well, if you want to live a fulfilling and meaningful life, you need to uncover your purpose – the underlying ‘why’ that fuels your motivations, actions, and dreams.

Finding your why isn’t just a nice-to-have, it’s essential to living a long and happy life. As numerous studies about purpose show, individuals with a deep sense of purpose are happier, more economically successful, and even live longer.

When you connect with your core values and understand your why, you can start to architect the life of your dreams and move closer to your ideal self.

Finding your why is almost like putting on glasses for the first time after being short-sighted for years. Suddenly, your path in life will become crystal clear.

Armed with your why, you can move purposefully towards your goals with a sense of confidence. You’ll make decisions easier, knowing instinctively what reflects your inner values and desires.

Your fears and disenchantment will give way to hope, peace, and resilience. You’ll be solutions-focused, and turn opportunities into challenges.

In living a life full of meaning, you’ll also connect profoundly with others. With your heightened empathy and innate wisdom activated, you’ll naturally nurture meaningful, rewarding relationships with people that resonate on the same energy level.

How to Find Your Why: 5 Methods for Uncovering PurposeIf you don’t yet know your why, you’re not alone. Research shows that 60% of Americans feel depressed and aimless at work, indicating unfulfillment and a severe disconnect between what many of us are currently doing in our day-to-day lives and our innate whys.

But these feelings aren’t a bad thing. In fact, they’re a signal – a way that our souls are trying to capture our attention and notify us that we’re not currently aligned.

But how do we move from yearning for a why to actually finding it? The steps below are a great place to start.

1. Tap Into Your Core ValuesSometimes, we get so caught up in our external responsibilities that we forego our intrinsic wants and desires. We become disconnected from our core values and often feel like something is missing, but we don’t know exactly what.

If this sounds like you, then:

Take Some Time to Self-ReflectFind out what you’re passionate about, your beliefs and values, and what brings you a sense of fulfillment.

To start with, think about creating a highlight reel of your past experiences. Look back at times when you felt like your most authentic self, when you showed courage, and when you felt aligned.

Then, consider the people you admire and ponder what they stand for. Quickly, you’ll notice common themes start to arise – things like altruism, excellence, and integrity – that signify your core values.

If you’d like a little extra support, you can use tools like the DISC profile assessment to begin uncovering your strengths and build upon them.

1. Nourish Your Passions When you were younger, what activities could you spend hours doing, feeling like no time had passed at all? Maybe it was playing sports, writing songs, or reading.

Get Back on TrackWhatever hobby enriched your life when you were younger, incorporate it back into your life today.

Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi found that doing something you love, be it work or play, transcends you into a flow state.

When you’re in this state, you tap into your innate sagacity, becoming more aware of what matters to you and, ultimately, your why.

If your childhood hobbies fail to ignite a sense of passion within you, be brave, get out there, and try something new! Approach finding your passion with a sense of curiosity and playfulness.

As you meet new people and expand your horizons, you’ll uncover new sources of inspiration that bring you closer to your all-important why.

1. Lean On Your Support System A huge part of finding why is finding the link between what you’re good at and what you can do in service of others. But if you struggle with self-doubt and perfectionism, you may find it hard to pinpoint your strengths and give yourself the credit you deserve.

Get a Helping HandIf you’re unsure what your strengths are, why not ask the people you’re closest to what they think you’re good at and what they admire about you?

You’ll likely find that the people you love and trust know you a lot better than you realized, and they’ll be able to offer you some useful insights that steer you in the right direction.

1. Volunteer In Your CommunityWe all have charitable interests that are close to our hearts. Whether it’s helping animals, championing disability rights, or advocating to end homelessness, you’ll undoubtedly have a few causes that strike a chord with your soul.

By volunteering with a charity that aligns with these values, you can make great headway toward realizing your why.

What Volunteering Does For YouVolunteering will empower you to connect with like-minded people, learn new skills and discover the type of activities that bring you joy.

1. Journal Often Journaling is a wonderful way to organize your thoughts and feelings on paper, help you to keep track of your goals, detangle problems and improve your relationship with yourself.

I’m especially a fan of journaling for challenging and reframing negative thoughts. Self-confidence and self-esteem are crucial to living out your why, empowering you to approach new people, try new things, and step outside of your comfort zone.

On the flip side, negative thought patterns can restrict your life, preventing you from following your passions and keeping you stuck in a rut.

Self Confident or Beating Yourself Up?Use journaling as a tool to discover the cycle of your thoughts, and start replacing limiting beliefs with positive statements.

It’s Time to Unleash Your PotentialIt takes courage to admit that your life needs to change. If you’ve been looking for a sign, this is it.

Your intrinsic why is lying dormant in your soul, waiting to be discovered – and I can help you awaken it.

My new book will give you all the tools you need to discover your true identity and discover your passion in life.

Start reaching for the purpose-filled badass life of your dreams today!

The post What Is Your Why? 5 Ways to Discover Your Purpose appeared first on SoulSalt.

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It’s unsettling, isn’t it? Nothing is wrong, but nothing is quite right either.

From the outside, you have a great life – a steady partnership, a promising career, and close bonds with friends and family.

But something is missing. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but you’re plagued by ongoing feelings of restlessness and disenchantment.

In my experience of helping people find fulfillment for over 20 years, these symptoms indicate you’ve lost touch with your unique personal needs (UPNs).

This is completely normal, and something that even those with the most seemingly-fulfilled lives struggle with.

But just because you feel this way doesn’t mean there aren’t concrete and effective ways to rediscover your badass energy and enthusiasm for life.

Let me show you how.

Feeling Happy But Missing SomethingBefore we go further, you should commend yourself for your courage – admitting that something is missing in your life is a challenging thing to do.

It’s Not WrongMany of us worry that we’ll appear ungrateful or selfish for yearning for an elusive ‘more’, but really this realization is a beautiful act of bravery and self-care.

That feeling of emptiness you’ve been battling signifies your soul is hungry for a deeper purpose and meaning. It’s your authentic self trying to tell you that you need to nourish your unique personal needs.

What Are Unique Personal Needs?As humans, we all have fundamental needs for things like sleep, water, food, and shelter. These needs are cyclical. We top them up and then they deplete over time. That’s why we sleep every night and crave sustenance every few hours.

Beyond our physiological needs, we also have soul-level needs – our UPNs.

Unlike the universal requirements for food, water, and shelter, our UPNs are much more intangible and nuanced, varying wildly from person to person, and changing throughout our lives.

Recognizing and Fulfilling Our UPNsThis is crucial for our well-being. We must pay attention to our UPNs to find fulfillment and meaning. And just like our needs for food, water, and shelter, they require consistent attention and maintenance.

The trouble is, we all have unmet and unknown UPNs. In fact, 100% of clients I’ve helped over the years had at least one (usually more!) deficient UPN, and many more felt confused and unsure of what their UPNs really were.

Why Do We Become Detached From Our UPNs?Losing touch with our UPNs tends to happen over time, often without us even noticing. Things like the pressure to fit in, workplace demands, and times of stress can all draw attention away from our intrinsic needs.

The longer we neglect our UPNs, the more out of touch with ourselves we become. Our UPNs effectively become muted, drowned out by external pressures and expectations.

But like the need for water and food, our UPNs always remain, quietly whispering about what we need to be truly fulfilled – it’s just maybe we’ve forgotten how to listen.

And that’s why we feel like something is missing in our lives. We become so out of sync with ourselves that we no longer know what our UPNs are. Instead, we feel this nagging yearning – a sense of longing for something we don’t know how to fulfill.

How to Find & Fulfill What’s MissingThe first step to getting over that uneasy, depleted feeling is acknowledging that something is missing. The second step, as outlined in the tips below, is reclaiming your UPNs and living a remarkable, fulfilling life.

Here’s how to do it.

1. Take Ownership of Your Happiness

   “I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness – it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.”

   Brene Brown

If your happiness depends on external influences, you’ve already cut off contact with your UPNs. When we allow people, status, or material possessions to dictate our state of mind, we inherently lose touch with what makes us truly, innately happy.

So, make a vow to take ownership of your happiness. Rather than letting things outside your control sway your emotions, commit to controlling your thoughts and creating a state of emotional peace within.

1. Listen to YourselfIf you’re guilty of people pleasing or worrying too much about what other people think, it’s time to recalibrate and reconnect with your inner truth. Our UPNs, after all, are entirely personal to us. They align with our core values, hopes, and dreams.

You can only find your UPNs if you have a strong, loving relationship with yourself. Of course, if you’ve been lost in the grind for years, you may feel like your intrapersonal intelligence has suffered.

Take Time to Learn About Yourself* Explore what matters to you most and why. * Notice how you feel in different situations without judgment. * Become curious about your emotions and thoughts. Quickly, you’ll start to notice themes and patterns within yourself; the essence of your core character, values, and hints of needs that remain unmet.

1. Find Connections With Yourself and OthersThe best relationships empower us to honor our UPNs while nourishing our needs for belonging and connection. These connections are rare and special, but nurturing them is vital to living a satisfying life.

As you become more connected to yourself and your core values, you’ll naturally start to notice the people who spark the most joy in your soul.

For example, suppose you discover that you greatly value kindness. In that case, you can set boundaries with negative friends or family members, and shift your attention to people who inspire you.

1. Believe in Yourself

   “If you’re always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.”

   Maya Angelou

Fear and self-doubt are noisy saboteurs that scramble your mind’s ability to listen to your UPNs. To live a rewarding, fulfilling life, you need to believe in yourself.

Overcoming Low Self-EsteemOvercoming low self-esteem can feel like climbing a mountain, but it’s entirely possible. Self-belief is like a muscle. You can increase its strength with practice and dedication.

Start by committing to practicing positive self-talk – focus on your strengths, be kind to yourself, and challenge negative self-assumptions. Once you’ve begun to nurture yourself inside out, you can look at what you’d like to achieve in the external world.

Set long-term goals that excite you and stir your soul, even if they feel scary.

The other remarkable thing about believing in yourself? You’ll build more genuine, fulfilling connections with people around you. It’s funny that we often hide our true selves for fear of being judged when, really, that’s the person the world truly wants.

1. Reclaim Control of Your LifeWe can either make life happen or it will happen to us. To nourish our UPNs, we need to take ownership of our circumstances and emotions.

Every day is an opportunity to live according to our values, chase our dreams and contribute to the world.

Don’t Be a Bystander in Your Own LifeThis is your story, and you are the author. Make each page – each day – one that moves you closer toward authenticity and fulfillment.

Plan your days accordingly. Block off time for your priorities rather than getting pulled into everyone else’s needs at the expense of your own.

1. Find Your Passion For many of us, our jobs and passions are lightyears apart. We may find our careers rewarding in many ways – especially in terms of financial stability and socializing. But they don’t directly nourish our UPNs.

Now, I’m certainly not saying you should quit your job on the spot. But you should find a way to spend more time incorporating your passions into your life.

It may be that you live out your passion through a hobby or find ways to augment your job so that you bring your passion to work.

If you’re not sure what your passion is, that’s ok! Start by brainstorming to give you a sense of direction. Take a little time each day to write down potential projects, creative outlets, or career paths that excite you.

From there, you can narrow down your direction. Choose the aspiration that lights your soul with excitement, set goals, and create a plan to infuse your passion into your life.

Ready to Feel Fulfilled?Reconnecting with your UPNs is a surefire way to live a remarkable life, and these tips are just the start.

In my upcoming book, I’ll guide you through the powerful process of self-discovery that I use every day to help my clients close the gap between the life they’re living and the life they want.

To secure your copy, sign up here.

The post Why Do I Feel Like Something Is Missing? (& How To Remedy It) appeared first on SoulSalt.

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Do you panic when someone asks, “What are your long term goals?”

It can feel like a test you’re about to fail, especially if you’re struggling to decide on a direction for the next phase of your life.

Or maybe you have a goal in mind, but it feels too scary to say it out loud. You don’t know if you’re capable of achieving it or if it’s even worth trying.

But there’s a reason this is such a common question in job interviews, family dinners, and even first dates. People want to know you on a deeper level.

Your long term goals say a lot about who you are, where you’re going, and what you value. They are the big dreams that give your life direction and purpose.

And they are worth it.

Keep reading for practical strategies to translate big dreams into achievable goals – including how to keep going through the tough parts.

Originally published on September 23rd, 2019, this article was updated and republished on January 31st, 2023.

Long Term Goals DefinitionLong term goals refer to accomplishments that will take significant time, effort, and planning to achieve. They are the delayed-gratification outcome of months or years of focus. These goals can be related to career, relationships, education, or anything you’re inspired to work towards.

While long term goals require a good deal of time and daily planning to reach them, it is a step-by-step process, involving the completion of smaller goals along the way.

An example of a long-term goal would be becoming an attorney. Along the way, you’ll reach milestones like studying for the LSAT, getting into law school, passing the bar exam, and getting your first job as a lawyer. It’s a process that takes years to achieve.

Goals worth pursuing – the ones that will be most meaningful and fulfilling – begin in the realm of heart dreams. They are the dreams we hold in our hearts that can seem out of reach at first.

But wishes, hopes, and dreams are always the beginning of any significant transformation. They are the sparks that can grow to fuel real changes in your life.

Long Term Goal TypesLife has many types of goals, big and complex enough to require planning, persistence, and accountability over a long period of time, from several months up to five years.

Now that we’ve established exactly what a long term goal is, let’s take a look at the different types of long term goals, along with some relevant examples.

Career Goals Career goals are those that relate to your professional life. This might look like you changing careers, becoming a leader in your field, or starting a business. Even starting a new career at 40 can be a viable goal.

Financial GoalsFinancial goals relate to your personal finances and expenses and can take several years to save up for or fully pay off. For example, you might want to buy a house, save for early retirement, or fund your children’s education.

Personal GoalsPersonal goals are those that relate to your own development. Traveling the world, finding a life partner, improving your focus, finding your purpose in life, or becoming a badass in something you love doing — like playing guitar, lifting weights, or making comics – are all great examples of personal goals that take time to achieve.

Long Term Goal Examples* Get your dream job * Get a promotion * Transition from being an employee to owning a successful company * Pay off all your debt * Build a diversified investment portfolio * Save for a down payment on a house * Start a retirement savings plan * Establish an emergency fund * Find the right person for you * Become independent * Get a university degree * Fund your children’s education * Become renowned in your profession * Travel to at least 10 different countries * Learn a new language fluently * Take a sabbatical or gap year * Start a business or side hustle * Volunteer regularly in the community * Build a network of professional contacts * Win an award or recognition in your field * Establish a daily meditation or mindfulness practice * Start a collection of something you’re passionate about * Learn to play a musical instrument * Learn to cook a new cuisine * Go on a yoga retreat or take a yoga teacher training * Start a podcast or blog * Go on a volunteer trip abroad * Write a book or screenplay * Achieve financial independence and retire early * Read at least one book per month * Take a course or class to learn a new skill * Start a family * Travel overseas

The difference that makes a dream into a concrete goal is simple. It’s a plan.

By creating a series of short term goals that bring you closer to your destination, your dreams become actionable and achievable.

The Two Keys to Achieving Your GoalsAs you pursue the direction of your heart’s calling, you can only reach your long term goal by consistently taking baby steps.

But it’s also important to keep an open mind toward self-discovery.

When it comes to long goals, most people talk about staying really focused on the objectives. While setting objectives is part of it, we also need to leave space for surprising opportunities and breakthroughs.

I call this approach the entrepreneurial two-step, but it’s not just for entrepreneurs. Any new venture can benefit from a combination of goal-setting and an open mind.

1. Setting Tangible Long & Short Term GoalsWhen pursuing a big dream, defining measurable outcomes makes all the difference. How do you define success?

Here’s how to approach goal setting and get tangible, measurable results:

1. Break your long-term goal into baby steps: You need to know what specific steps to take each day, week, and month to achieve your goals.
2. Establish metrics of success: KPIs (key performance indicators) will help you know when you’re on the right track.

Here’s how it played out in my life.

After 15 years of working in education, I decided to make a transition from an elementary school teacher and reinvent myself in the world of business.

I had a dream to go down a career track in which I could innovate more than I could while working in a public school system. I understood that much but didn’t necessarily have the clarity of what that end goal would look like.

So I set aspirations and intentions.

I dreamed of having a home office. I created a collage, with visuals and words, to depict that thing I was headed for. I kept the bigger vision as an aspiration to enter my heart and my soul.

Then I broke down my long term goal into tiny, bite-size pieces.

First, I needed to enroll in a coach training school. I actually created a calendar of what my schedule would look like. I determined how many classes I needed to take each month in order to graduate. I also picked up classes in project management.

2. Keeping an Open MindThroughout my transition, I found that if I stayed too attached to a specific outcome, I sometimes missed the bigger opportunity. And sometimes, the thing that actually gave me a breakthrough happened unexpectedly.

I’ve seen this in my own transitions, and with many of the clients in my coaching practice. We go through a process to answer the big questions of how to find purpose and what direction to take.

But when pursuing personal goals, I like to leave things open. I put aspirations out there and allow time, synchronicity, and circumstance to run its course.

I truly believe that a lot of the things that have given me satisfaction, that I would chalk up as successes, have come from:

• Having an aspiration
• Heading in that direction
• Leaving things open

This process allows things that I couldn’t even imagine to show up. Opportunities meet me on my way.

Point your ship in the right direction without going down too many diversions. You can also see what’s coming up in the waves to see where opportunities arise.

It’s good to leave some openness and flexibility, rather than staying too rigid in your pursuit. This approach allows for growth and opportunity in the process of pursuing personal goals.

Besides helping you take advantage of new opportunities, flexibility gives you a chance to be creative. It’s a key part of staying motivated during a transition, particularly during, what I call the neutral zone.

The Neutral Zone: When Motivation Slows DownEmbarking on important personal goals, at first, you may have a burst of motivation driving you.

But long term goals take time.

Especially if you’re working on something major, like figuring out how to change careers in midlife.

In the course of working towards goal completion, your motivation will slow down. Sometimes, you don’t get the results you want as quickly as you expect. Other times, things just don’t pan out. Those factors can drag self motivation and stall your progress.

In his book, Managing Transitions, William Bridges explains the Transition Model. It’s a way to navigate these changes successfully, especially when motivation slows down.

At first, when embarking on a change, you face an ending. You feel the pain of loss for what you’re leaving behind, or the joy of getting unstuck.

As you move through the ending, you find yourself in “No Man’s Land,” or the neutral zone. You may feel:

• Numb
• Lost
• Frightened
• Unbalanced

Guess what? This is normal!

The neutral zone is a place of ambiguity. You haven’t quite ended all the ending. You haven’t quite begun all the beginning. In between, it takes time for the transition to occur.

Five Strategies to Navigate the Neutral ZoneHerminia Ibarra’s Working Identity explains ways to keep moving through the neutral zone:

• Keep learning: Stay in the mode of taking in new information and adjusting your knowledge base.
• Create: Keep the internal pathways fluid by continually having “juice in your veins.” With creativity, at any given moment, you are fueled for innovation.
• Have a mentor or sounding board (coach): Don’t go about things alone. Have someone on your team to provide perspective and balance.
• Have the willingness to take risks: In other words, be willing to step out of your comfort zone and into something that might not fly.
• Don’t give up: PERSIST! Persistence plays a crucial role during the neutral zone in actualizing long term goals. Keep trying, keep moving, and keep going. Don’t succumb to impostor syndrome or other forms of self-doubt.

With persistence, you will make it through the neutral zone and enter a new beginning.

Yes, you can feel a few twinges from the ending, and a little bit of the numbness from the neutral zone. However, you will start to experience the excitement of a new beginning, and your motivation will come roaring back to life.

Over time, the sadness of ending, and feelings of insecurity from the neutral zone will fade away.

Your new beginning has become your new normal. The goals are achieved. The change is complete!

Ready to begin pursuing your goals?Remember this:

No matter what, you’ll benefit from having an intention and a goal in sight while ALSO leaving space open.

That means you don’t have to nail everything to a plan or a project map. Instead, you can allow discovery so the unexpected can occur. In that way, you’ll achieve long term goals in ways you could never imagine.

The post How to Define and Achieve Your Long Term Goals appeared first on SoulSalt.

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Do you sometimes feel unsatisfied with the way your life is playing out?

You might be working a high-paying job but feel like you’re not spending your time meaningfully. Or leading a great team, but in a company you’re not proud to work for.

Maybe you’re stuck in a relationship with someone who just isn’t quite right.

On the surface, it might look like you’re living a life of fulfillment, but something is off.

This isn’t unusual, and you’re not alone. Many of my clients come to me with these exact feelings. Although they should feel satisfied in their life, they somehow don’t.

I’ve been through it myself, too.

It’s not a sign that you’re ungrateful for your life – it’s a sign that you’re disconnected from your truth. You’re living a life that is fundamentally divorced from your deepest values, and the daily imbalance you feel is a manifestation of that.

This begs the question – how do you restore balance, and find direction when you’re lost?

You start by identifying and understanding your core values and beliefs.

What Are Core Values?Core values are the beliefs, principles, and ideals that you hold closest to your heart.

They guide you to make decisions quickly and confidently, prioritize your goals and relationships, facilitate self-reflection, and improve your mental and physical health.

When you place core values at the base of everything you do, you experience increased self-confidence in all domains of your life.

The inverse occurs when you live without core values – you risk manifesting major disruptions in your life such as physical illness and mental stress.

But putting a name to your core values isn’t always easy. To help you see how well you know yourself and what you stand for, try this quiz I designed.

How Core Values Can Bring Meaning to Your CareerAccording to a report by Asana, over 62% of workers are being swept up by an epidemic of burnout, described as “a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.”

How Burnout HappensBurnout stems from being overworked and overwhelmed – but it also arises from doing work that doesn’t align with your values.

When you’re stuck in a career void of meaning, you’re likely to emotionally check out. You only have one life, after all, so it makes sense that spending it in a way that doesn’t fulfill you could cause you chronic stress.

But you can remedy this – by living and working according to your fundamental beliefs.

Building a career around the things you value is a bulwark against burnout. When you find meaning and purpose in your career, you are inherently more content with your work.

Suddenly work doesn’t feel like a daily eight-hour chore that needs to be completed before dinner. It takes on an entirely different dimension and feels like time well spent, accomplishment, and satisfaction.

So when you’ve identified your core values, bring them into your work. It doesn’t always mean a radical shift in career. For example, if you value humor or fun, you don’t have to leave your corporate job and become a circus clown. You can get a burst of happiness by organizing an improv workshop for your team or making someone laugh in a meeting.

Sometimes a career creates a conflict with your values. Let’s say that your family is one of your most cherished core values, but you were working at a job that required a long commute, pulling overtime, or frequent out-of-town meetings.

The knowledge that you’re unable to spend as much time with your family as you want is weighing heavily on you, so you make the decision to quit your job. While difficult, you now have the opportunity to look for a role that allows you to work from home or take weekends off.

Regardless, you’ve found a way for your work to align with your truth, and that’s indescribably powerful.

How Important Are Core Values in Leadership?Core values are essential if you want to become an effective leader.

The foundational guiding principles that core values provide help leaders make decisions and solve problems.

How Core Values Help LeadersThey provide direction, enhance performance, and promote a healthy work-life balance. They allow leaders to prioritize activities important to them to achieve both professional and personal goals.

By understanding their core values, leaders can ensure that their actions align with their organization’s values.

Let’s say you value integrity. In this case, you will strive to make honest and ethical decisions. If collaboration stands out as a core value, you will make sure to involve others in decision-making processes.

Maybe promoting and maintaining good physical and mental health is important to you. It stands to reason that you’ll then understand the importance of taking breaks, and motivate your team to do the same.

So how can you revitalize your team’s mission, vision, and values?

• Identify the core purpose of working together — this is your mission.
• Develop a collaborative vision for what you hope to accomplish together.
• Define your team’s core values to influence how they work together.

As we progress, people and businesses become more health-conscious, flexible, and diverse. These are examples of core values at an organizational level that leaders can support in the workplace.

The data reflects this. A recent poll by Gallup found that 61% of employees wanted greater work-life balance and better personal well-being, 43% wanted vaccination policies that aligned with their beliefs, and 42% wanted more diversity and inclusion.

Core Values in the WorkplaceWhen you embrace core values, you build trust with your coworkers and encourage high performance. You also attract the best people – the ones who naturally align with your company values.

This allows you to create an atmosphere of mutual respect and cooperation that leads to more productive relationships.

The Role of Personal Core Values in Your RelationshipsPersonal core values are a guide on how to spend your time and energy.

They help you identify when you’re spending too much time on things that conflict with your values and set boundaries accordingly.

This allows you to prioritize time for things you do value.

For example, if you value kindness, spend less time with friends who gossip and more time with those that enrich your life. If you value excellence, spend time with mentors or friends that excel in their chosen pursuits.

Core Values in RelationshipsBy embracing your personal core values, you can foster healthier relationships with your family, friends, and other important people in your life.

Likewise, core values play a crucial role in family dynamics. Strong family values form a solid foundation for a happy household. They help create a sense of belonging and establish strong bonds and are also invaluable when it comes to making big decisions that affect the entire family.

For example, if your family values eating healthily, you might allocate more of your household budget to buying more expensive but healthier foods. Or if you value education, you might make the decision to move to a better school district for your children.

Family members who understand and respect each other’s values can also work together more effectively and support each other in their individual pursuits.

Psychology Today explains that those in relationships established based on core values find it easier to overcome challenges together.

Being clear on what matters to you at this stage of your life will help form healthy connections – you’ll also recognize when another individual’s values just don’t match your own.

To make sure your core values align with those around you, ask yourself these questions:

• Who are the people around me?
• What feelings am I experiencing as a result of these relationships?
• What’s the emotional or physical cost of these experiences?

Having a set of core values will help you make decisions quickly and confidently, prioritize your goals and relationships, facilitate self-reflection, and improve both mental and physical health.

Take time to consider your beliefs and develop a set of core values that resonate, then strive to prioritize these values in all aspects of your life.

That being said, it’s not always easy to excavate your deepest truths – but I have developed some simple tools and processes to guide you through it step by step.

Check out my online course to help you start living your truth and discovering your core values today.

The post The Importance of Core Values (And How They Bring Meaning to Your Life) appeared first on SoulSalt.

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Listen to your heart, trust your gut, and use your head – you’ve likely heard these three aphorisms before. But did you ever consider why they’re always said in relation to each other?

While we’ve always suspected that there was more than one way to intuit the truth, science is now telling us that we can access the feelings of our heart and the intuition of our gut as we do the wisdom of our head.

This is because we’re all blessed with three brains – the head, the heart, and the gut.

While each has its own purpose, their interconnectedness provides us with a trustworthy instinct in times of uncertainty and tools to confront and resolve difficult life situations.

We can use all of our brains to make better decisions and find the best path forward.

Let me show you exactly how it works.

My Gut Is Telling Me Something Is Wrong

“There is a voice that doesn’t use words. Listen.”

Rumi

Have you ever experienced butterflies in your tummy when trying to make a decision? Or, maybe you had a gut-wrenching feeling when faced with an intense situation?

That’s not just a physiological response – that’s your gut speaking to you.

Gut feelings can arise as a soft whisper or an internal scream. They can show up in the form of physical sensations or an intense sense of knowing. However they manifest, gut feelings always serve your best interests.

Researchers at the University of Iowa associate gut feelings with intuition. Research also shows that a gut feeling can affect you physically – think sweaty palms or goosebumps – and emotionally.

Your gut gives you a heads-up as to how you should respond in alignment with your truth. That’s why you often hear the advice of “trust your gut!”

Think of it as your safety blanket. When you feel like you’re overwhelmed and can’t think clearly, your gut instinct nudges you to wake up to your truth.

But why is it called a gut feeling? Why do we feel emotions deep within our stomachs? The answer lies in the gut-brain connection.

The gut-brain connections allow emotional experiences to manifest as gastrointestinal distress. When you feel anxiety, fear, or uncertainty, you might experience stomach cramps or nausea – that’s why it’s called a gut feeling.

Science tells us we have 500 million neurons surrounding our gut, which is why the gut is often referred to as the “second brain.”

The gut-brain axis, the communication system connecting your brain and your gut, acts as an internal discussion and sends signals up and down through your vagus nerve.

This means that your brain and gut are inextricably linked. And so when your gut tells you that something is wrong, you should use your brain to figure out what it’s trying to say.

How to Know if Your Gut Feeling Is Right

“Trust your gut. Listen to your heart. This world wasn’t built by people with small visions and minor thoughts. It was built by the misfits, eccentrics, and oddballs who had the courage to passionately follow the voice of their dreams.”

Robin Sharma

Scientists classify the head, heart, and gut as three functional brains with complex neural networks. The combined knowledge of your “three brains” has incredible applications for life, and can help you avoid potentially dangerous situations and cultivate stronger relationships.

When you understand the voice speaking from the head, heart, and gut, you’ll feel a sense of guidance from within.

Listening to that inner voice can help you respond in certain situations with a solid yes or no answer.

On top of that, it allows you to take control when you feel in limbo about making a decision.

When you tune out external influences and take guidance from your head, heart, and gut, you reach your truth.

You become completely aligned with your inner guidance system, and that’s when your best and truest decisions are made.

This isn’t just conjecture – science backs it up.

Heart BrainIn the 1990s, research by Dr.J Andrew Armour found that we have 40,000 sensory neurons in our hearts, performing brain-like functions.

It turns out that the heart is much more than just a blood pump – it’s a spiritual compass that will let you know when you’re making correct decisions.

You’ve likely felt this yourself when you’ve arrived at a difficult choice and said, “I know in my heart of hearts this is the right decision.”

Head BrainWith 86 billion neurons, the sophisticated messages that the head brain sends are much different than the impressions, intimations, and value-based sense of the heart.

As the highest-evolved brain, the head brain detects threats and stores a history of emotional experiences. It’s also responsible for logical reasoning, allowing us to analyze situations and learn from experiences rather than being ruled by emotions and reactivity.

For this reason, it’s an excellent tool for solving problems and managing emotions.

Gut BrainAnd then there’s the gut, which has the core competence of “inner wisdom,” “motivation to take action or not,” and a “deep sense of self.”

Our gut brain contains close to 500 million neurons, with 400 times more messages going to our heads than going to our hearts.

When we speak openly on self-preservation and courage, we activate the gut-brain – and this is when your gut instinct kicks in.

Can Your Gut Feeling Be Wrong?While there is true power in trusting your gut, times may come when your gut feeling can betray you.

For example:

• When a similar incident has occurred in the past.

There’s a possibility that your gut feeling is simply déjà vu. In this case, the gut feeling you’re experiencing is your fear of replaying the same situation repeatedly with a similar outcome.

• When you feel the urge to act from desire.

Is it your gut instinct, or are you using it to justify an action you’ve resisted for so long?

To clarify whether or not our gut is correct, we can check against our other forms of wisdom. Ask yourself – is the situation really the same, or do you have the resources to manage it differently this time? Is your gut telling you to do something momentarily gratifying — but ultimately against what you believe in?

Trusting your gut comes with experience. When you take a risk and receive a positive outcome, you’ll begin trusting your gut instinct and allow this to influence your decisions positively.

The Connection Between Your Brain and GutWhen should you trust your gut instinct over your other internal intelligence?

A good test is to ask yourself a question and witness how your head, heart, and gut respond. You’re likely to have received three different answers. Let’s take a closer look into why.

Using Your Logic Taking a logical approach certainly has benefits, especially when making big life decisions or navigating challenges.

The brain is a powerful organ that stores memories and processes your surroundings. It can process information to make good decisions in really difficult situations and come up with solutions to complex problems.

But relying on logic all the time means that we can often get in our own way.

You’ve probably heard the phrase “stuck in your own head.”

This happens when we overthink or overanalyze a situation or behavior. We get stuck in perfectionism and make fear-based decisions that stem from what we believe to be logical at that time. We lose sight of our inner voice and guiding intuition.

Of course, it’s good to use your head when it comes to decision-making, but be willing to give attention to your other brains. Tune into the physical sensations of your heart and gut, and know that sometimes trusting your gut is favorable over logic.

Your ValuesWhen you experience an unsettling gut feeling, this can often mean that a decision doesn’t align with your core values.

Such a situation might arise because you made choices because of external pressure from family or society rather than following your true desires.

When we stray from our true purpose, we tend to feel a deep sense of uneasiness, especially in our gut. When this happens, it’s important to listen to that feeling and reassess where you stand.

Use your logic – do your daily actions align with what matters to you?

Get clear on your values. Analyze your day-to-day actions and see if they truly reflect what matters the most to you.

These questions can reveal your next steps and help you get back on track.

Your EmotionsWhen faced with a difficult decision, your body will trigger an emotional response to try and guide you in the right direction.

This is when your fight-or-flight response kicks in.

Sometimes, your body may close up and become silent, but your gut screams internally to go against your emotions and stand up for yourself even if it makes you feel highly uncomfortable.

So how do you know when to act on what you feel is right versus what you know is right?

Combine the insights of your head brain, the intimation of your heart brain, and the instincts of your gut-brain to reach your truth.

With your three brains in mind, ask yourself these three questions to navigate uncertainty:

1. What does my heart truly want?
2. What path would my gut have me follow?
3. In my mind’s eye, what can I imagine for my future?

Apply this information to the situation you’re attempting to resolve and allow these insights to guide you. Sometimes deciding which brain to trust is a case of trial and error, so apply this process to as many difficult decisions as possible.

If you need support along the way, I’d be honored to help. As you walk towards your truth, I can provide the tools to help you understand the wisdom of the three brains.

My upcoming book is full of tools to help you create a purpose-filled life, guided by your internal wisdom. Get on the list to find out when it’s ready!

The post When to Trust Your Gut Feeling (Your Body’s Inherent Intelligence) appeared first on SoulSalt.

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Do you think you’ve reached your full potential, or do you feel you still have much more to achieve? There’s no wrong answer here, so don’t be scared by the question. The truth is that your full potential is a constantly moving target, one that gets further away as you progress toward it. The better […]

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Have you ever been stressed out about how to make a decision for so long that you missed the boat?  Your crush got engaged before you decided to ask them out. Your colleague got that promotion before you decided to go after it. Your friend made a killing on that investment before you decided whether […]

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When is the prime of your life, and have you already reached it? It’s a question that many of us ask ourselves during cycles of growth and reflection – and it doesn’t exactly have a straightforward answer. The truth is that there is no singular high point after which our lives begin to decline. In […]

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Does it sometimes feel like you have no idea how to control your emotions? Life can be a bumpy ride, so it’s only natural to feel overwhelmed.  But when you’re swamped by fear or anger, you function at your worst. Who hasn’t said something they instantly regret in the heat of an argument, or said […]

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Taking charge of your life is one of the most empowering journeys you can ever embark on. It’s only natural to feel lost at some point in your life, especially at times when you have no control over external circumstances or as you approach certain milestones. You’re not alone. Everybody loses their way on the […]

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Do you want to transcend your everyday living and learn how to live an extraordinary life? The first thing you have to decide is what that means for you specifically. Living extraordinarily means something different to everyone. It’s a personal vision for you to imagine – and it takes consistent action to achieve.  What adds […]

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Forming a personal philosophy isn’t easy – but it’s worth it. A personal philosophy provides you with a fundamental framework for creating a meaningful life. You can use it to align all facets of your higher self and find a purpose in everything you do. Many people flow through life with no personal guidance system […]

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Taking a risk in life can catapult you toward success and drastically increase the chances of achieving your goals.  But underneath every risk resides the fear of uncertainty and failure.  Taking a risk involves straying out of your comfort zone and stepping into the unknown.  It involves confronting your fear and taking a leap of […]

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Having the qualities of a leader and being in the position of leader are two different things. If you want to challenge a group of managers, executives, or future leaders in your workplace to grow, check out Leadership Bootcamp. Have you experienced team leads who were less than great, or worse, downright toxic? On the […]

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Knowing how to stay motivated can mean the difference between reaching your goals and staying stuck.  It’s easy to feel excited and motivated when starting something new, but that inspiration begins to fade once the novelty of an experience wears off.  It’s even more difficult to stay motivated through challenging times, when we’re facing stressful […]

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Goal setting means different things for different people, but, at its core, it’s a way of committing to a goal by breaking it down into a series of small, achievable steps.  It allows you to take a long-term goal that might feel completely overwhelming and map out a path that will translate the dream into […]

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Practicing gratitude exercises can change your brain and your life for the better.  You may have some idea of what feeling thankful means, but it goes beyond just settling for what you have or feeling satisfied with the status quo. A gratitude mindset means entirely shifting your perception. It means moving from a place of […]

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Sometimes we shift our career out of experiencing a financial necessity. Sometimes we heed the call of our inner dreamer – the part of us that begs for a chance to earn a living and live a life full of purpose, abundance, and inspiration. No matter your motivation for shifting the way you work, this […]

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Sometimes we shift our career out of experiencing a financial necessity. Sometimes we heed the call of our inner dreamer – the part of us that begs for a chance to earn a living and live a life full of purpose, abundance, and inspiration. Other times we strive to learn how to find your purpose […]

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When a big, brilliant idea is birthed, it’s usually imagined with embellished grandeur. It appears as it “COULD” be. Moving big ideas from thought to action requires effort. Sometimes these requirements can become heavy, causing us to relent and downgrade our vision or scope. We revise our idea into more realistic terms. If the realistic […]

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Anita Olan – Writer, Traveler, Goal Setter/Goal Getter What is the craziest thing you’ve ever set out to achieve? What is the most inspired goal you’ve gone after? How did you come up with your ideas for the goals you’ve set? Research tells us that when we hear another person speaking of such things, our […]