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Purchase Daniels Book - Hard Feelings: Finding the Wisdom in Our Darkest Emotions

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Daniel Smith to explore a question most of us never stop to ask:

What if the emotions you're trying hardest to get rid of are actually trying to help you?

Whether it's jealousy, shame, envy, regret, or anxiety, many of us spend our lives chasing relief—seeking reassurance, distracting ourselves, or trying to think our way out of uncomfortable feelings. But according to Daniel, our darkest emotions aren't problems to eliminate. They're messengers carrying important information about who we are, what we fear, and what needs our attention.

Together, Shanenn and Daniel talk about why self-criticism often causes more damage than the original emotion, how shame keeps us trapped in painful cycles, and why curiosity may be one of the most powerful tools for healing.

If you've ever wondered why you keep having the same emotional reactions despite knowing "better," this conversation is for you.

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 Emotions are messengers, not enemies

💎 The feeling itself is rarely the problem—our resistance to it often is

💎 Shame says "there's something wrong with me," not simply "I did something wrong"

💎 Self-hatred is not an effective strategy for personal growth

💎 Curiosity creates space where judgment creates suffering

💎 Understanding yourself is often more powerful than trying to fix yourself

💎 The goal isn't to never feel difficult emotions again—it's to relate to them differently

About Our Guest:

Daniel Smith is a psychotherapist, journalist, and New York Times bestselling author of Monkey Mind. His latest book, Hard Feelings: Finding the Wisdom in Our Darkest Emotions, explores emotions such as shame, envy, regret, despair, and annoyance—revealing how these often-misunderstood feelings can become powerful sources of self-understanding and growth.

Through personal stories, psychological insight, and cultural exploration, Daniel challenges the idea that difficult emotions should simply be eliminated and instead invites us to learn from them.

Resources Mentioned:

Hard Feelings: Finding the Wisdom in Our Darkest Emotions by Daniel Smith

Monkey Mind by Daniel Smith

The Buddhist Parable of the Second Arrow

Quote of the Episode:

"Emotions don't come because they're trying to attack us. Emotions come because they have meaning and because they have purpose." – Daniel Smith

Key Moments:

• 2:00 – Why our desperate search for emotional relief often backfires

• 5:00 – The Buddhist "Second Arrow" and how we create unnecessary suffering

• 9:00 – Why understanding the "why" behind your feelings isn't always enough

• 12:00 – The difference between shame and guilt

• 16:00 – How curiosity can reduce emotional suffering

• 21:00 – Why talking about shame weakens its grip

• 24:00 – The hidden ways regret helps us avoid the present

• 33:00 – Why shame may be the most painful emotion of all

• 38:00 – How childhood experiences shape our emotional patterns as adults

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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You messed up. You spiraled. You said something you wish you could take back. And now you feel terrible — which actually means you're doing something right. Feeling bad after a jealous episode is healthy. It means you care.

But there's a difference between feeling bad and living there. And if you're someone who stays in the spiral for hours, days, or even weeks after a jealous episode — replaying it, shutting down, telling yourself you're broken and unlovable — this episode is for you.

Because here's what that extended spiral is actually costing you. It's not just making you miserable. It's reinforcing the belief that jealousy is who you are. It's keeping the incident alive in your relationship long after it should be over. And it's exhausting your partner in ways you might not even realize.

Today Shanenn introduces the Pity Timer — a simple, deliberate tool for feeling your feelings fully without letting them swallow the next three days of your life. This isn't about stuffing it down or pretending it didn't happen. It's about giving your guilt its time, and then making a choice to move forward.
In this episode:

Why staying in the spiral actually reinforces jealous behavior
What your partner experiences when you're still "off" days later
Why moving on fast doesn't mean you don't care
How to use the Pity Timer to actually close the loop
What to do when the spiral tries to come back

00:00 Stop Letting the Spiral Run Your Life
02:14 How the Spiral Builds a Case Against You
05:19 How Your Guilt Is Hurting Your Partner
08:01 Why You Can't Just Stop Feeling Bad
10:29 How to Use the Pity Timer
13:02 What to Do During the Window
14:37 When the Timer Goes Off

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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You knew you were wrong the second he flipped that phone around. Nothing suspicious. Just a bacon recipe.
And somehow you were still annoyed at him.
That feeling has a name — and once you understand it, you can’t unsee it.
You’ve done the spiral. You built the whole case in your head. And then the truth came out and it was… a bacon recipe. You know you were wrong. They know you were wrong. And somehow you’re still a little irritated at them.
This episode is about that moment — the one most people blow right past. Shanenn breaks down the shame-anger switch, why relief doesn’t always show up when it should, and how to actually recover without making it worse.

Golden Episode Nuggets:
💎 Your jealous brain doesn’t file ambiguity as neutral — it skips straight to the most threatening interpretation
💎 Relief doesn’t always show up when you’re proven wrong — sometimes you get a stomach drop instead
💎 Guilt says “I did something bad.” Shame says “I am bad.” Those lead to very different places.
💎 That flicker of anger toward your innocent partner? It’s shame looking for an exit — not really about them at all
💎 A real apology doesn’t need a “because” attached to it
Resources Mentioned:
30 Days to Different — Shanenn’s program for breaking jealousy and insecurity patterns

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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You’re Already Living the Worst Case Scenario

What if the thing you’re most afraid of happening would actually hurt less than what you’re putting yourself through right now? It sounds hard to believe—but there’s real research behind it.

In this solo episode, Shanenn digs into why the jealous spiral itself is the worst-case scenario—not the thing you’re afraid of. You’re not waiting for the bad thing to happen. You’re already in it.

From Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert’s Impact Bias to the neuroscience of naming your fear, this episode is packed with science-backed insight and a simple 3-step tool (the Fog Lift) to help you stop the loop.

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 You’re not waiting for the bad thing to happen. You are already in it.

💎 Vague fear gives you all the pain and none of the tools your brain would normally use to deal with it.

💎 The psychological immune system only activates for real events—the spiral has no off-ramp.

💎 Naming your specific fear literally shifts brain activity from reactive to regulated.

💎 The spiral has no arc, no end. It takes exactly as much as you give it.

💎 It’s all the cost and none of the outcome.

Resources Mentioned:

· Matthew Lieberman’s UCLA research – “Name it to tame it” (affect labeling and the amygdala)

· Dan Siegel – Clinical professor at UCLA, coined “name it to tame it”

· Top Self on YouTube – Subscribe and watch the show there

Quote of the Episode:

“You’re not waiting for the bad thing to happen. You are already in it.” – Shanenn Bryant

Leave a Review:

📝 Have you ever realized the spiral was costing you more than the thing you were afraid of? Leave a review and tell us - what’s one thing that shifted for you after listening?

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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You know that voice in your head—the one that takes a missed text or a sideways glance and turns it into a full-blown crisis? That's your What If Machine, and it's been running the show for way too long. In this episode, Shanenn breaks down why your brain defaults to worst-case scenarios, where those fear stories actually come from (spoiler: it's usually not your current partner), and how those protective instincts end up creating the exact outcome you're terrified of.

She also walks you through a 5-step Evidence Check framework you can use the next time your brain tries to convince you that everything is falling apart—so you can figure out if you're dealing with a real red flag or just old fear wearing a new outfit.

Golden Nuggets:

💡 Your brain's What If Machine isn't trying to ruin your relationship—it's running a protection program written long before this relationship existed. 💡 Vague fear is the most powerful kind. Once you name it, it gets smaller. 💡 In the absence of clear evidence, you're choosing an explanation—and if you consistently choose the scariest one, that's not logic, that's fear driving. 💡 Preparing for the worst doesn't protect you from the pain. It just means you experience the loss twice. 💡 Sometimes the What If Machine isn't protecting you from your partner—it's protecting you from hope.

Resources Mentioned:

• Episode 8 – Ashley Greer: Is This My Fear or Intuition?
• The Power of ONE (Open to New Evidence/Explanations)
• The 5-Step Evidence Check Framework

Quote of the Episode:

"Sometimes the scariest thing isn't the relationship falling apart. Sometimes the scariest thing is letting yourself fully trust it, fully relax into it, fully believe you're loved." — Shanenn Bryant

Perfect for listeners who:

• Wake up spiraling for no reason and can't turn it off
• Know their jealousy is irrational but can't stop the loop
• Have pushed a partner away with checking, testing, or accusations
• Want a practical tool to use in the moment (not just "calm down")
• Are trying to figure out if their fear is instinct or old wounds talking

If this episode hit home, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And leave a review and let us know—what's one what if that's been running your relationship that you're ready to question?

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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We're on YouTube - Join us there.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn explores one of the most confusing and isolating experiences for anyone who struggles with jealousy: watching a secure person stay completely calm in a situation that would send you into a spiral.

Starting with a vivid poolside story that will feel painfully relatable, Shanenn breaks down why secure people aren’t blind to what’s happening around them—they just don’t assign the same meaning to it. She explains how your brain builds stories based on its existing “library” of past experiences, fears, and beliefs about yourself, and why that library is the real difference between jealousy and security.

Plus, she introduces a powerful new tool—the Meaning Audit—three simple questions you can use to interrupt the spiral and start thinking like the secure person you’re becoming.

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 Secure people see the same things you do—they just don’t assign the same meaning to them

💎 Your brain is a meaning-making machine and it pulls from your existing library of fears, wounds, and beliefs

💎 True security comes from trusting yourself to handle whatever comes, not from guaranteeing your partner will never hurt you

💎 The spiral isn’t about the photo or the party, it’s about the fear underneath

💎 Security isn’t a personality trait. It’s a skill, and it’s learnable

Quote of the Episode:

“Your jealousy is not the enemy. It’s been trying to protect you from the things that scared you the most. But at some point, that protection has become a prison. And you deserve to be free.” – Shanenn Bryant

📝 Leave a review and let us know—what’s one meaning you’ve caught yourself assigning that turned out to be wrong?

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Enroll Today for 30 Days to Different

Does your relationship feel… quieter lately?
The butterflies are gone. The texts are shorter. Affection feels different. And now your brain is spiraling:

Did they lose interest?
Is this my fault?
Is the spark gone?

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down what’s actually happening when the intensity fades in a long-term relationship — especially if you struggle with jealousy, insecurity, or fear of abandonment.

You’ll learn why early love feels intoxicating, why that high is biologically designed to fade, and why the loss of “spark” doesn’t mean loss of love. For many anxious or jealous partners, this phase is when insecurity spikes — not because the relationship is failing, but because the nervous system is finally no longer distracted.

This episode will help you stop catastrophizing calm, understand your attachment system, and learn how to build security without needing constant reassurance.

Key Moments

• 1:00 – The questions everyone asks when the spark fades
• 2:20 – Why early love feels addictive (and why it can’t last)
• 7:00 – The shift from dopamine to oxytocin explained simply
• 10:00 – Why calm love can trigger anxiety and jealousy
• 13:30 – How hypervigilance replaces excitement
• 17:50 – Why jealousy often peaks after commitment
• 22:00 – When “boring” is actually emotional safety
• 25:00 – Why leaving too soon repeats the same cycle
• 27:20 – Stop chasing the spark — start building inner security

Golden Episode Nuggets

💎 The spark fading is a biological transition, not a red flag
💎 Early love distracts you from insecurity — it doesn’t heal it
💎 Calm can feel unsafe if your nervous system learned love through chaos
💎 Jealousy often increases when things stabilize
💎 You don’t need more reassurance — you need more internal safety

Resources Mentioned

• 30 Days to Different – Learn how to regulate your nervous system, rebuild emotional safety, and stop spiraling in your relationship

Schedule your FREEDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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🦋. 30 Days to Different is starting soon - ENROLL TODAY

Insecurity doesn’t always scream. Sometimes, it whispers lies that keep us stuck.

In this solo episode, Shanenn unpacks the three most convincing lies insecurity tells you—and why they feel so real even when they’re not. Whether it’s the urge to check their phone, overanalyze tone, or control every detail in your relationship… this episode will help you finally understand what’s really driving that behavior and how to stop reacting from fear.

This one is for the insecure person who’s exhausted from bracing for betrayal and ready to come home to herself.

🧠 WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

✔️ Why “staying alert” doesn’t actually protect you
✔️ How strong emotions can lie to you
✔️ Why control is a false sense of peace
✔️ The one mindset shift that rewires your inner safety
✔️ How to respond to triggers without spiraling

🔥 GOLDEN EPISODE NUGGETS:

💎 You can’t out-alert life—but you can trust that you’ll handle what comes
💎 Feeling something intensely doesn’t make it true
💎 Control doesn’t create safety—it creates stress
💎 Trust is built by showing yourself you can survive discomfort
💎 You’ve handled hard things before. You can handle this too

⏰ TIMESTAMPS:

[00:00] A PB&J story that shows how deep-rooted patterns shape us
[05:45] Why insecurity feels like your identity
[07:37] Lie #1: “If I don’t stay alert, I’ll get hurt”
[13:21] Why hypervigilance robs you of peace
[18:23] Lie #2: “If I feel this strongly, it must be true”
[24:59] How emotional urgency leads to overreaction
[31:16] Lie #3: “If I control more, I’ll finally feel secure”
[36:30] The truth: You don’t need more control—you need more trust
[39:04] Final reframe to anchor self-trust

🧭 RESOURCES & LINKS:

🎯 30 Days to Different – Registration Now Open!
Ready to stop spiraling and start self-trusting? Join Shanenn’s daily support container to process emotions without the panic.
→ JOIN NOW

📝 LEAVE A REVIEW:

If this episode gave you a truthbomb or breakthrough, would you leave a review? It helps other women find these tools too.

💬 What’s a lie insecurity has told you? Drop it in your review or DM Shanenn on Instagram @topselfco

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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If you’ve ever felt stuck in a mental loop, replaying conversations, spiraling into insecurity, or feeling something is wrong but you can’t quite name it—this episode is for you.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with Annette Furio, founder of Season Journals, to talk about how journaling can help you slow down, make sense of your thoughts, and create space between what you feel and how you react.

f your brain feels loud or stuck, this episode is about giving those thoughts somewhere to go so you can think more clearly.

Together, Shanenn and Annette break down why your brain gets stuck on repeat, how journaling helps close mental loops, and how even five minutes can shift your clarity, emotional regulation, and self-awareness.

Golden Episode Nuggets

💎 Your brain keeps looping because thoughts feel unfinished
💎 Writing forces your mind to slow down and complete thoughts
💎 Journaling creates space between emotion and reaction
💎 You don’t need consistency—you need permission to start
💎 Gratitude journaling is one of the fastest ways to shift your mindset

Key Moments

· 2:00 – Why unfinished thoughts keep looping in your mind
· 4:00 – How writing slows your brain and creates emotional space
· 6:30 – Why journaling doesn’t have to be daily to work
· 9:30 – How journaling helps you spot patterns in jealousy and insecurity
· 12:00 – Looking back at old entries to see growth (or stuck points)
· 20:45 – The easiest way to journal when you only have five minutes
· 24:00 – Why journaling should never feel like another chore

About Our Guest

Annette Furio is the founder of Season Journals, a brand focused on helping people strengthen their relationship with themselves and others through intentional journaling. Since launching in 2020, Annette has created guided journals for major life seasons—including engagement, marriage, pregnancy, and everyday wellbeing.

Her journals are designed to be both keepsakes and tools, helping people document their lives while also working through challenges with clarity and intention.

Resources Mentioned

Season Journals – Guided Journals for Life’s Seasons
Available at seasonjournals.com and on Amazon

Quote of the Episode

“Journaling puts space between what you feel and how you respond.” – Annette Furio

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down a question so many people quietly struggle with—especially this time of year:

Why do I feel calm and trusting with my partner sometimes… and anxious, suspicious, or insecure with them at other times—when nothing has actually changed?

As the holidays approach and routines shift, old patterns can resurface. Shanenn explains why these emotional swings don’t mean you’re inconsistent, broken, or ignoring red flags. Instead, they’re signals from your nervous system responding to changing conditions—not changing relationship facts.

This episode offers a powerful reframe that removes shame, self-blame, and overthinking—and replaces them with clarity, self-trust, and nervous-system awareness so you can stop turning emotions into verdicts about your relationship.

Key Moments:

• 1:45 – Why the holidays can make anxiety spike even in “good” relationships
• 3:50 – The core truth: calm and anxiety come from your nervous system, not your partner
• 6:40 – Why feeling calm doesn’t mean you’re “healed” or fixed
• 9:00 – What’s really happening when you start scanning, spiraling, or overthinking
• 11:30 – Why emotions are signals of state—not proof of truth
• 13:45 – The shift that helps anxiety soften without controlling your environment

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 Calm and anxiety can exist in the same relationship without either one being “the truth”

💎 You didn’t lose trust—you lost nervous system capacity

💎 Emotional states are signals, not verdicts about your relationship

💎 Feeling anxious doesn’t mean something is wrong with you or your partner

💎 Regulation comes from working with your nervous system, not fighting it

Quote of the Episode:

“Your ability to feel calm, trusting, and connected isn’t created by the person in front of you. It’s created by the state your nervous system is in.”

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down why small moments in your relationship can trigger huge emotional reactions.

If you’ve ever felt embarrassed by your reaction, overwhelmed by jealousy, or hijacked by anxiety over something that logically felt minor, this episode explains what’s really happening beneath the surface.

Shanenn introduces the concept of emotional agility—the ability to feel deeply without losing yourself—and explains why trust, confidence, and security aren’t built by suppressing emotions, but by learning how to stay present with them. This episode offers practical tools to help you stop spiraling, rebuild self-trust, and respond instead of react

Golden Episode Nuggets

💎 Your reactions aren’t random—your nervous system is trying to protect you
💎 Feeling deeply is capacity, not a weakness
💎 Trust is built through experience, not reassurance
💎 Naming sensations instead of emotions creates emotional power
💎 Discomfort doesn’t mean danger—nothing has gone wrong
💎 Staying with a feeling builds confidence one moment at a time

Key Moments

• 2:30 – A relatable story about reacting “bigger than the moment”
• 4:20 – Why your body reacts before your brain can catch up
• 7:45 – What emotional agility actually means (and what it’s not)
• 9:00 – Why trust isn’t about your partner—it’s about you
• 12:10 – The truth about “feeling too much”
• 16:30 – Why resilience isn’t toughness or pushing through
• 18:20 – One simple shift that gives you power over emotional spirals
• 20:30 – Four practical ways to stop getting hijacked by your emotions
• 24:20 – Reflection questions to build self-trust in real time

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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If you've ever thought "I'm too much," felt shame around your jealousy, or struggled with feeling "needy" in relationships, this episode will be a relief and a revelation. Shanenn sits down with Trevor Hansen, coach and founder of The Art of Healing, to dismantle the shame loop of anxious attachment and show how it can be transformed into self-trust and secure connection.

Trevor shares his raw personal story—from toxic relationships and a broken jaw to leaving a high-powered career at Tesla—and the powerful tools he discovered to move from fear to security. This is a must-listen for anyone stuck in the cycle of over-functioning, people pleasing, or "proving" their worth in love.

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN:

• Why awareness alone won't heal your insecure attachment
• How childhood experiences can create a "love gap" that fuels jealousy
• What emotional reprogramming looks like in practice
• Why inner child work isn't woo-woo—it's essential
• A powerful shift from controlling to compassionately curious in relationships

GOLDEN NUGGETS:

• You’re not too much. It’s the behavior that needs support, not your worth.
• Anxious attachment is just a part of you—not all of you.
• You can turn your jealousy into a catalyst for deeper connection.
• Emotional healing > intellectual awareness.
• When you stop outsourcing your worth, you stop fearing abandonment.

GUEST BIO: Trevor Hansen is a relationship coach and the founder of The Art of Healing. After navigating his own journey through anxious attachment and emotional wounding, he now helps individuals break the cycle of fear-based relationships and build secure emotional foundations. His Secure Self Club is transforming lives by helping clients go from insecure to grounded in just months.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "You're no longer a problem to be solved, but a person to be loved."

PERFECT FOR LISTENERS WHO...

• Feel shame around their jealousy or emotional needs
• Struggle with anxious or insecure attachment styles
• Want to stop overthinking and start feeling secure in love
• Are tired of outsourcing their peace and self-worth
• Crave emotional safety, clarity, and confidence in their relationships

Loved this episode? Be sure to leave a review and share how you're starting to show up for your inner child.

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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🦋 Join the experience - enroll in 30 Days to Different today!

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn flips the script on what it means to be “the jealous one” in a relationship—and trust us, you’ll never see your spirals the same again.

Ever swear you’re not going to snoop, spiral, or snap... and then do it anyway? That doesn’t mean you’re some controlling jerk. It means you’ve got a genius-level nervous system doing exactly what it was wired to do: keep you safe.

This solo episode unpacks the psychology behind jealousy, why it’s not sabotage but stabilization, and how to trade unhealthy patterns for new, empowering ones—without shaming the old you who just wanted to feel safe.

Oh, and there’s a German shepherd, a deer, some stargazing, and one mood-ruining poop. You’ve been warned.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

• Jealousy isn’t sabotage—it’s a stabilizer your nervous system picked to survive pain
• You don’t need to feel ashamed of your coping strategies—they were genius solutions for impossible circumstances
• You can teach your body new patterns—because you’ve done it before
• The most powerful shift isn’t “How do I stop this?” but “What was my system trying to protect me from?”
• New stabilizers aren’t about perfection—they’re about choosing different

🗝️ Key Moments:

• 1:10 – Why repeating patterns doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means your body is succeeding at survival
• 3:40 – What stabilizers are and how they show up as jealousy, control, or overeating
• 6:20 – Why we don’t pick yoga or the gym as coping tools (hint: your nervous system doesn’t give a damn about kale)
• 13:20 – How the jealousy loop works and why it feels so hard to break
• 17:30 – You’re not controlling—you’re a genius at creating predictability
• 25:00 – The dog poop that ruined a magical moment (and why it matters)
• 27:00 – What it looks like to pick new, healthy stabilizers and stop suffering silently
• 28:50 – Introducing: 30 Days to Different, the transformative new experience to rewire your relationship patterns from the inside out

🔥 Want to Go Deeper?

30 Days to Different is officially open for enrollment!
If you’re ready to ditch the spiral and actually rewire the patterns of jealousy, this is your moment.
✔ Daily mindset rewires
✔ 6 live Zoom sessions
✔ Nervous system & neuroscience-based tools

🔗 Join now: TopSelf.com
or scroll down to the show notes to click the link!

🎧 Perfect for Listeners Who:

• Feel ashamed or guilty about their jealousy or control habits
• Want to understand why they keep reacting the same way
• Are ready to replace o

Join the Experience and enroll in 30 Days to Different today!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn dives into one of the most exhausting relationship cycles—when you keep second-guessing your partner, breaking up, getting back together, and wondering if they’re “the one.”

The truth? Your confusion isn’t about your partner. It’s about your pattern.

If you’ve ever caught yourself analyzing every text, tone, or gesture, or if you’re tired of asking “should I stay or should I go?”, this episode will hit home. Shanenn unpacks how fear, self-doubt, and emotional hot potatoes (yep, you read that right) keep us in chaos—and what to do instead.

You’ll learn how to pause the decision, regulate your nervous system, and start building self-trust, so you can finally feel confident in your choices—no matter who you’re with.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

• You’re not confused about them—you’re disconnected from you.
• Fear-based decisions aren’t decisions; they’re safety strategies in disguise.
• If it’s hysterical, it’s historical.
• You can’t heal what you keep outsourcing.
• Until you trust yourself, you’ll doubt every relationship—even the right one.

💡 Key Moments:

• 2:00 – Why your breakup reflex isn’t about your partner—it’s about escaping discomfort
• 6:45 – The “emotional hot potato” that keeps you stuck in the same patterns
• 10:25 – Why your feelings might be valid… but not about what’s happening right now
• 13:20 – The difference between deciding and reacting
• 17:00 – How to tell the difference between a red flag pattern and a personal trigger
• 22:37 – Why you don’t have to decide today if your partner is “the one”
• 30:00 – The 30-day pause: the simple reset that stabilizes your decision-making
• 33:50 – How to soothe your own nervous system without outsourcing it to your partner
• 38:00 – The question that changes everything: “What would I choose if I trusted myself to handle any outcome?”

❤️ Quote of the Episode:

“Until you trust yourself, you’ll doubt every relationship—even the right one.”

🧠 Resources Mentioned:

• Free Discovery Call with Shanenn → Schedule Here

✨ Perfect for listeners who:

• Break up and get back together on repeat
• Feel anxious, jealous, or unsafe in relationships
• Want to stop obsessing over every text or tone
• Are ready to make decisions from confidence, not fear
• Are tired of repeating the same emotional patterns

🔥 Call to Action:

If you’re ready to stop spiraling and start trusting yourself again, book a free discovery call with Shanenn. This is the work she does every day—helping you rebuild from the inside out, so you stop changing partners and start changing your pattern.

🎧 Subscrib

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this powerful solo episode, Shanenn cracks open a question many of us quietly carry:

“If I weren’t jealous… who would I be?”

From the deck of a cruise ship years ago to the emotional trenches of everyday hypervigilance, Shanenn walks you through how jealousy feels like its become your identity—and how to begin shedding it.

She reveals why your brain clings to jealousy like a job, how it tricks you into thinking you're protecting yourself, and the truth about what control really looks like. If you've ever spiraled over a thong-wearing dancer or found yourself interrogating a partner just to feel safe, this one’s for you.

This episode is an invitation to stop playing small, stop playing scared—and remember who you were before jealousy moved in.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

• Jealousy feels like protection, but it’s just fear in disguise
• Hypervigilance is a survival strategy, not a love strategy
• Your brain learned jealousy from chaos—but it’s ready to relearn
• Without jealousy, you don’t lose love—you get your life back
• That confident, secure version of you isn’t new. She’s just been waiting

🔑 Key Moments:

• 1:10 – The cruise ship moment that cracked something open
• 5:55 – When jealousy becomes a job you never applied for
• 10:45 – Why control isn’t the same as protection
• 14:30 – The origin story of your inner security guard
• 20:40 – Does jealousy actually prevent betrayal—or just exhaust you?
• 27:00 – What happens to your energy when jealousy leaves the building
• 36:08 – Why your “security guard” isn’t crazy—just untrained
• 41:00 – Create your own security protocol
• 44:50 – The difference between a red flag and a one-off
• 46:19 – How to become the version of you that trusts again

💖 Perfect for listeners who:

• Feel like jealousy has hijacked their personality
• Replay conversations, stalk socials, or analyze texts for clues
• Want to stop managing a partner’s behavior and start managing their own peace
• Crave deeper self-trust, emotional regulation, and a life beyond fear

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn gets real about a silent habit that so many listeners can relate to—but few talk about openly: using alcohol to cope with jealousy, anxiety, and emotional overwhelm in relationships.

From the glass of wine that helps you "take the edge off" before date night… to the third drink that leads to a spiral of shame, regret, and disconnection—this episode breaks down what’s really happening when we reach for a drink to manage our feelings.

Shanenn explores how alcohol not only numbs the bad stuff, but also disconnects you from your intuition, dulls your emotional clarity, and makes jealousy even harder to navigate. You'll learn practical tools to pause, get curious about your emotions, and build real self-trust—without having to escape into a buzz.

This episode isn’t anti-alcohol. It’s pro-you.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

• You're likely not drinking because you have a drinking problem—you're drinking because no one taught you how to feel your emotions.
• Alcohol doesn't just numb pain—it numbs joy, intuition, and connection too.
• Every time you reach for a drink instead of feeling your feelings, you’re teaching your brain you can't handle them.
• Shame keeps the cycle going; guilt helps you change.
• Your emotions aren't your enemy. They're your superpower.

🔑 Key Moments:

• 2:10 – Why alcohol is often used to manage anxiety and jealousy
• 6:30 – The emotional pattern behind pre-date drinks (and how it backfires)
• 10:45 – What happens when “buzzed you” says too much
• 14:30 – The brain science: how alcohol blocks emotional processing
• 22:00 – Alcohol, anxiety, and why the fire comes back stronger
• 25:00 – Shame vs. guilt: the emotional cycle that keeps you stuck
• 28:30 – How using alcohol creates self-abandonment and insecurity
• 34:00 – The practice of sitting with emotions without numbing
• 39:20 – 3 questions to ask before you drink
• 43:00 – How to experiment with alcohol-free moments and collect emotional “data”

🧠 Resources & Coaching Mentioned:

• 30-Minute Discovery Call with Shanenn – Learn how to break emotional patterns and build self-trust. Book via TopSelf.com
• Coaching Program: Feel Free Again – For women ready to stop outsourcing emotional regulation to alcohol, anxiety, or partners.
• Whitehall II Study & Sleep Research – Learn how alcohol disrupts emotional processing during REM sleep.

🗣️ Quote of the Episode:

“Every time you choose to be real instead of numb, you’re doing something really brave.” – Shanenn Bryant

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this solo episode of Top Self, host Shanenn dives deep into one of the most anxiety-triggering scenarios in relationships: witnessing your partner flirt with someone else. Is it a sign they’re unhappy? Are they secretly interested in someone else? Or…could it mean something entirely different?

Drawing from scientific research and her personal journey, Shanenn shares the six core reasons people flirt—and reveals that only one of them is actually about sex. With compassionate insights and a powerful reframe on validation, esteem, and trust, this episode offers a fresh, empowering take on how to handle flirting without spiraling into insecurity.

If you've ever felt the sting of jealousy or wanted to understand what flirting really means in a committed relationship, this episode is a must-listen.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

• Flirting does not always equal sexual or romantic interest.
• Only 1 out of 6 reasons for flirting involves a desire for sex.
• Flirting can actually boost relationship satisfaction—not destroy it.
• Feeling attracted ≠ acting on attraction. The nuance matters.
• Jealousy is a signal—not a certainty. Trust your gut, not your fear.
• You can’t be your partner’s only source of validation—and you shouldn’t have to be.

🧠 Key Moments:

• 2:40 – That sinking feeling when your partner flirts: What’s really going on?
• 5:00 – The 6 scientific motivations behind flirting—and only one is sexual
• 10:15 – Why people flirt to boost self-esteem (and why it’s not a threat)
• 14:30 – The “relationship development” vs. “relationship threat” misunderstanding
• 18:00 – Do happy partners still crave external validation? Yes—and here’s why that’s okay
• 23:45 – How jealousy can mislead you into toxic behavior patterns
• 30:00 – The research-backed truth about fantasy, flirting, and fidelity
• 38:00 – Shanenn’s real-life jealousy moment (and what it taught her)
• 42:00 – How to use “The Power of One” to reframe your thoughts around flirting

🧰 Resources & Mentions:

• The Study: Northern Illinois University research on the 6 motivations for flirting
• Power of One Exercise: Practice reframing jealousy with one new explanation

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Enroll in the Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp starting soon!

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn shares a deeply relatable scenario: it’s 10 p.m., you’re staring at your phone, spiraling over a text that simply says, “Okay, sounds good. Talk to you tomorrow.” If that’s ever sent you into an emotional tailspin, this episode is for you.

We explore why relationship insecurity creates an overwhelming urge to process everything out loud—and why your friends might be reaching their limit. Shanenn dives into the neuroscience of emotional regulation, the critical role of co-regulation, and why being understood by someone who “gets it” can feel like a lifeline.

You’ll learn why exhausting your friendships isn’t the answer—and how group support like Talk It Out Tuesday and the Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp can offer real change, practical tools, and deep emotional relief.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

• Criticizing yourself for needing support only deepens the wound.
• Relationship insecurity is a nervous system issue, not a character flaw.
• Friends mean well—but they’re not therapists. Group support gets it.
• Shame thrives in secrecy. But when you share your story with people who truly understand, it loses its power.
• You are not "too much." You are not broken. You are human.

⏱ Key Moments:

• 1:30 – That late-night spiral we’ve all had—why your brain won’t let go
• 6:00 – The neuroscience behind why we have to talk things out
• 9:30 – Why your friends can't always be your emotional support system
• 12:00 – How insecurity starts impacting all of your relationships
• 15:50 – The invisible burnout your friends may be feeling
• 17:40 – “You’re not broken”—the power of being truly understood
• 20:00 – Why shame thrives in silence and how to break the cycle
• 24:30 – Group support vs. going it alone: the real difference
• 26:40 – How helping others with their insecurity reinforces your own healing
• 28:30 – Group coaching isn’t exposure—it’s your power move

👩‍🏫 Shanenn Says:

"Insecurity is a terrible roommate. It never cleans up its mess and always leaves you drained."

🧰 Resources Mentioned:

• Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp – A six-week guided experience to rewire your nervous system and build relationship security. [Register here]
• Talk It Out Tuesday – Free group coaching calls inside the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group. Join now to get notified of upcoming sessions.

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down one of the most common communication traps in relationships: expecting your partner to read your mind.

Whether you're silently hoping your partner just knows you need a hug—or you're dropping hints that never land—this episode is your guide to getting what you actually need without spiraling, snapping, or shutting down.

From attachment styles to the six human needs, Shanenn explains why asking isn’t needy—it’s necessary—and gives you the exact words to use so your partner can finally show up for you.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

• 💬 “Asking isn’t needy—it’s necessary.”
• 🧠 If you don’t say it, your partner is just guessing—and they’ll guess wrong.
• 🔄 Every time you don’t ask, you reinforce the belief that your needs don’t matter.
• 💥 Complaints like “you never text me” are often just unspoken needs for connection.
• 💡 Hint-dropping leads to disappointment. Clear, direct asks lead to connection.

⏰ Key Moments:

• 1:30 – Why “If they loved me, they’d just know” is a romantic myth
• 4:10 – How your partner’s brain is wired differently—and what that means for unmet needs
• 6:45 – What each attachment style sounds like when trying to get their needs met
• 10:15 – 3 hidden costs of not asking for what you want
• 13:50 – Shanenn’s hilarious story about trying to “fix” her mom’s venting session
• 17:10 – The 6 Human Needs and why your priorities may clash with your partner’s
• 23:20 – What your complaint is really about—and how to find the core need
• 26:30 – Simple scripts for clearly communicating your needs without guilt
• 30:00 – Why unmet needs aren’t about being needy—they’re about being unclear

🔗 Resources Mentioned:

• 📝 Take the Attachment Style Quiz
  to better understand how you relate to love

💬 Quote of the Episode:

“Your needs are like GPS coordinates. Without them, your partner is just driving in circles—hoping to land at the right destination.”

🎯 Perfect for listeners who:

• Struggle to ask for what they want without guilt
• Drop hints instead of expressing needs clearly
• Get frustrated when their partner doesn’t “just know”
• Want to stop spiraling and start speaking with confidence
• Are working to create more secure, emotionally honest relationships

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this powerful episode of Top Self, Shanenn Bryant delivers something your inner child may have never received: acknowledgment, validation, and the words you needed most.

This episode is a gentle but honest space for anyone who grew up feeling unseen, unprotected, or responsible for everyone else’s emotions.

Shanenn talks about how childhood trauma—whether loud or silent—gets stored in the body and shapes adult patterns. Through reflections on her own healing journey and a moving message written as a voice of apology from the caregiver you never had, this episode offers a path to release, reframe, and reclaim your power.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

• “You’re not born with trauma—you inherit patterns through what you witnessed, heard, and experienced.”
• “It’s not about blame. It’s about the chain—and you might be the first brave one to break it.”
• “You don’t need their permission to heal. You just needed to be seen.”
• “This isn’t who you are—it’s who you became. And you can become something new.”
• “If you’ve been waiting for an apology, this is it.”

🔑 Key Moments:

• 1:45 – Trigger warning and who this episode is for
• 3:00 – “This is not who you are—it’s who you became”
• 5:20 – What trauma really is: the unseen, unfelt, unprocessed
• 6:40 – It’s not about blame—it’s about breaking the chain
• 9:15 – Generational trauma: how pain becomes parenting
• 11:30 – The ACEs test and its lifelong impact
• 14:00 – “You don’t need an apology to heal—but here’s one anyway”
• 15:00–21:00 – A powerful reading of the apology you never received

🛠️ Resources Mentioned:

• Episode 20: Interview with Candace Alley on the ACEs Test & Trauma
• ACEs Test – Adverse Childhood Experiences
• Learn more about coaching and upcoming programs at Top Self website

📌 Quote of the Episode:

"You don’t need their permission to heal anymore. You just needed to be seen—to finally hear, ‘I’m sorry.’ And now you have." – Shanenn Bryant

🎯 Perfect for Listeners Who:

• Grew up with emotional neglect, instability, or high expectations
• Feel guilt around acknowledging childhood pain
• Want to understand how trauma shows up in adult relationships
• Are learning to reparent themselves and break generational cycles
• Are seeking healing without waiting for an apology that may never come

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn gets deeply personal, sharing the origin of the podcast and a powerful realization about the hidden shame many people carry from their childhoods. If you’ve ever felt like you had to hide how you grew up—because of addiction, dysfunction, or chaos—this episode is a must-listen.

She shares the moment she realized she wasn’t alone in her struggles with jealousy and insecurity, and how our pasts—when left unspoken—can quietly sabotage our relationships and self-worth.

This isn’t just about healing from jealousy. It’s about learning to release the shame of your story so you can show up as your full, authentic self.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

• Shame about your past doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you—it means you’re human.
• You’re not alone in still being affected by how you grew up.
• Confidence begins where the old story ends.
• Letting go of shame starts with being honest—with yourself.
• You don’t owe your story to everyone, but you deserve not to carry it alone.

🔑 Key Moments:

• 1:00 – How the podcast was born from a talk on growing up with an alcoholic parent
• 4:45 – The shift from “Jealousy Junkie” to “Top Self” and why that mattered
• 6:30 – A listener’s message about struggling to make friends as an adult
• 9:50 – Why hiding your past isn’t protecting you—it’s suffocating you
• 13:00 – How your upbringing may still be impacting your self-worth and relationships
• 16:00 – Shanenn’s personal journey of reconnecting with her father
• 21:00 – The surprising story she’s not ashamed to tell—and what that reveals about internalized shame
• 22:50 – A powerful reminder: you don’t owe anyone your story, but you do owe yourself relief

🧠 Perfect for listeners who:

• Grew up in a chaotic, addicted, or dysfunctional environment
• Still carry shame about their upbringing—even as successful adults
• Struggle to be vulnerable or build close friendships
• Want to understand how childhood experiences shape adult relationships
• Are ready to rewrite the story they’ve been carrying

📌 Resources Mentioned:

• Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp – Learn how to break free from insecurity, jealousy, and people-pleasing.
• [Link to register]
• Free Discovery Call with Shanenn – Coaching for women ready to stop hiding and start healing.
• [Link to schedule]

🧭 Quote of the Episode:

“You don’t owe your story to anyone. But you do owe yourself relief from the weight of hiding it.”

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Ever started pulling away just when things got good? If calm, consistent love feels boring—or even threatening—you’re not broken. You’re human.

In this episode, Shanenn explores why “safe” love can trigger your nervous system, especially if you grew up in chaos or experienced emotionally unpredictable relationships. You’ll learn:

• Why peace can feel like a red flag to a dysregulated nervous system
• The hidden link between chaos and connection
• Subtle ways we sabotage healthy love without realizing it
• A powerful affirmation to ground yourself when you’re spiraling
• How to begin rewiring your system to trust calm instead of rejecting it

If you’re ready to stop pushing away the love you crave, this episode is for you.

💎 Golden Nugget: “Peace isn’t the problem. My pattern is.”

Timestamps:

• 1:15 – Why calm triggers fear in a chaos-wired nervous system
• 3:00 – How your past relationships shaped your patterns
• 6:30 – A real-life story (with a German Shepherd!) that explains stored trauma
• 10:40 – Signs of self-sabotage when things feel “too good”
• 12:50 – Tools to rewire your nervous system for trust
• 15:40 – The mantra that can change everything

Resources & Links:

📄 Free Download: 5 Signs You’re Subconsciously Sabotaging

📞 Book a Free Discovery Call with Shanenn

🔗 Follow Shanenn on Instagram: @topselfco

Loved this episode? Leave a 5-star review—it helps others find healing too. 💚

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn welcomes tapping expert Amy Vincze to explore how tapping can help release jealousy, insecurity, and emotional triggers. With over 17 years of experience, Amy shares how she went from skeptic to certified coach—using tapping to navigate personal trauma, anxiety, and even breast cancer recovery.

This isn’t just theory. Amy walks listeners through the science of tapping, the emotional patterns that fuel insecurity, and a powerful guided tapping session to help you shift from emotional reactivity to grounded self-worth.

If you’ve ever felt consumed by jealousy or struggled to manage emotional overwhelm in relationships, this episode is a must-listen.

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 You can’t heal what you’re afraid to feel

💎 Jealousy and insecurity are symptoms—not the root problem

💎 Tapping helps regulate the nervous system and release stored trauma

💎 Emotional honesty is a gateway to confidence and connection

💎 Healing is an inside job—and tapping gives you the tools to do it

Key Moments:

· 1:30 – Why most of us avoid uncomfortable emotions and why that’s a problem

· 4:45 – Amy’s backstory with tapping and how trauma triggered transformation

· 10:15 – How emotional energy gets trapped in the body

· 14:30 – The neuroscience of tapping and what happens in the brain during a session

· 20:00 – A full guided tapping session focused on jealousy and insecurity

· 34:10 – The real goal of tapping (hint: it’s not to be positive all the time)

· 38:00 – How to create your own tapping practice without overthinking it

About Our Guest:

Amy Vincze is the founder of SOAR with Tapping and a certified Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) practitioner. She combines energy therapy, cognitive techniques, and somatic work to help people process emotional triggers and build resilience. Her mission is to make tapping accessible for anyone ready to break emotional patterns and reclaim their peace.

Resources Mentioned:

• SOAR with Tapping by Amy Vincze:

Quote of the Episode:

“You can’t release what you refuse to feel—and tapping helps you face it with compassion.” – Amy Vincze

Perfect for listeners who:

· Feel consumed by jealousy or insecurity in their relationships

· Want a practical way to manage emotional triggers

· Are curious about tapping but unsure where to start

· Are tired of suppressing uncomfortable emotions

· Are ready to reclaim peace and self-worth on their healing journey

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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🎧 In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down the 3 stages of jealousy that sabotage emotional security—and how to work through them.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in spirals, constantly checking your partner’s phone, or craving reassurance just to get through the day—this episode is for you.

Through her own experience and years of coaching clients through jealousy, Shanenn identifies 3 specific levels most people go through: High Alert, Distance Dependent, and Emotionally Equipped. You’ll learn how to recognize where you are, why each stage feels the way it does, and how to move forward with more self-trust and less shame.

This is your roadmap out of relationship anxiety and into emotional strength.

🔑 Key Moments:

• 2:00 – The High Alert stage: spiraling thoughts, hypervigilance, and the toll on your nervous system
• 10:00 – Breaking out of unhealthy validation habits using the Think-Do-Say framework
• 17:00 – The Distance Dependent stage: calm on the surface, but still triggered by what you see
• 23:00 – Using self-focus and small wins to rewire your emotional patterns
• 28:00 – The Emotionally Equipped stage: meeting your own needs without over-relying on your partner
• 31:00 – How to bounce back after a setback without shame or spirals

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

• Jealousy isn’t just emotional—it becomes physical stress if left unchecked
• The Think-Do-Say model helps break compulsive habits by replacing them with conscious choices
• You can stop checking the phone without stopping all the habits—just start with one
• Self-validation is the gateway to emotional safety
• You don’t need your partner to fix your jealousy—you need tools to manage your emotional responses

❤️ Perfect for listeners who:

• Feel overwhelmed by jealousy or insecure thoughts in their relationship
• Are trying to stop spiraling and start self-soothing
• Want practical, non-judgmental tools for emotional growth
• Are ready to take their healing seriously but with compassion
• Crave deeper connection—without losing themselves

✍️ Leave a review and let us know—what stage do you see yourself in right now? And what’s one habit you’re working to change?

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn unpacks one of the most misunderstood truths about jealousy: it doesn’t start in your mind—it starts in your body.

If you’ve ever told yourself “I’m just going to think positive thoughts” or “I’ll be chill tonight”—only to spiral the moment your partner picks up their phone—then go ahead and hit play now.

Shanenn introduces a nervous system-based approach to jealousy, built around her signature BAM Method: Body And Mind. You’ll learn how to stop shaming your reactions, calm your nervous system, and respond in a healthier way—rather than fear, panic, or reactivity.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone stuck in the cycle of body-based jealousy and emotional spirals.

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 Jealousy isn’t crazy—it’s a stored survival response from your nervous system

💎 Your body reacts before your brain can even form a thought

💎 BAM = Body And Mind (Breathe, Acknowledge, Move) is your new reset tool

💎 A safer body allows you to choose a better thought

💎 Explaining your nervous system reactions to your partner can build deeper understanding

Key Moments:

• 3:25 – Why jealousy can’t be “thought away” (and why 95% of your reactions aren’t logical)
• 7:17 – The real reason your stomach drops when he texts—and what your nervous system is doing
• 10:28 – Introducing BAM: Why calming your body comes before calming your thoughts
• 15:02 – The “hot stove” analogy to help explain jealousy to your partner
• 19:33 – BAM, defined: Breathe. Acknowledge. Move.
• 24:51 – What to do when your body believes an old wound is happening again
• 27:42 – How to shift into your “choice moment” once your body feels safe

Resources Mentioned:

• Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp – Join the next session starting June 18th. Register here
• Watch THIS episode on YouTube
• Shanenn's new podcast:
  • On Apple Lead Without Limits
  • On YouTube Lead Without Limits

Quote of the Episode:

“When your body feels safe, your brain can finally tell the truth.”

Perfect for listeners who:

• Feel overwhelmed by jealousy, even when “nothing is happening”
• Struggle with reactivity, spiraling thoughts, or reassurance-seeking
• Want to learn nervous system tools to feel safe in their relationship
• Are ready to replace shame with self-compassion and emotional safety
• Are doing the deep work to heal attachment wounds and regulate from the inside out

📝 Leave a review and let us know—what’s one way you’re helping your

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with thought habit strategist and author Amy Kemp to unpack one of the most damaging patterns women struggle with—tying our self-worth to performance.

From subconscious thought loops to resentment signals, Amy shares the surprising truth behind why we feel exhausted, unseen, and over-obligated—and what we can do to reclaim our identity and energy.

If you're spiraling in your own pool of thoughts, this episode will help you understand the thought habits secretly draining you and how to replace them with empowering defaults.

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 You are not your thoughts—your brain’s habits can be rewired

💎 Resentment is a neon sign flashing: “Missing boundary here”

💎 “I should” and “I have to” are energy leaks disguised as productivity

💎 Confidence isn’t a feeling—it’s what shows up after you act

💎 Your natural genius is the thing that feels easy to you but amazes others

Key Moments:

· 3:45 – Why 80% of our thoughts are subconscious (and how to catch the unhealthy ones)

· 7:10 – The “value vs. performance” hand exercise that could change how you see yourself

· 12:50 – What resentment actually means (hint: it’s a missing boundary)

· 15:00 – The 3 most common toxic thought habits women carry

· 21:40 – The Resentment Audit: a practical way to uncover unspoken needs

· 25:15 – How to find your “natural genius” and stop undervaluing your gifts

About Our Guest:

Amy Kemp is a leadership coach, speaker, and author of I See You: A Guide for Women to Make More, Have More, and Be More. Her work helps women reprogram limiting thought habits so they can stop second-guessing themselves and start living and leading with clarity and energy.

Take her free Habit Finder assessment to discover your subconscious thought patterns and how to shift them at www.amykemp.com.

Resources Mentioned:

• The Habit Finder Assessment – Free at amykemp.com
• I See You by Amy Kemp – available on Amazon, Audible, and Bookshop.org

Quote of the Episode:

“Every time you feel resentment, imagine a neon sign flashing ‘Missing Boundary’—because your energy is trying to tell you something.” – Amy Kemp

Perfect for listeners who:

· Constantly feel like they “should be doing more”

· Struggle with people-pleasing, burnout, or overthinking

· Want to break free from perfectionism and performative self-worth

· Are ready to understand their energy leaks and reclaim peace

· Are looking to rediscover their identity beyond roles and titles

📝 Leave a review and let us know—what’s one thought habit you’re ready to rewire?

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with clinical psychologist and gratitude expert Dr. Peggy DeLong known as The Gratitude Psychologist to explore how gratitude can be a lifeline in life’s hardest seasons.

Whether you’re navigating grief, anxiety, or emotional overwhelm, Peggy shares the science and soul behind why gratitude is most powerful on your worst days not your best. From the moment she found comfort in a cup of hazelnut coffee while sitting at her fiancé’s deathbed, to her 5-minute daily gratitude practice, this episode is packed with perspective shifts that can change the way you cope, connect, and heal.

If you’ve ever thought “I know I should be grateful, but I just can’t right now,” this conversation is for you.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

💡 Gratitude is most impactful in pain—not after it

💡 Saying “thank you” aloud triggers positive brain chemicals (dopamine + serotonin)

💡 You can’t feel anxious and grateful at the same time—gratitude interrupts worry

💡 Gratitude letters benefit your mood, even if you don’t send them

💡 Emotional pain always reveals a value—use that value to move forward

🔑 Key Moments:

• 3:30 – How a simple cup of coffee helped Peggy survive loss
• 7:15 – Why saying “thank you” aloud changes your brain chemistry
• 10:00 – The Reticular Activating System and how it filters what you notice
• 13:00 – The most important gratitude habit for improving mental health
• 18:00 – Gratitude letters: why they benefit the writer more than the recipient
• 20:00 – Using pain as a trigger to practice gratitude
• 24:30 – How gratitude can significantly improve your sleep
• 26:40 – The link between gratitude, resilience, and rewiring your brain

👩‍⚕️ About Our Guest:

Dr. Peggy DeLong is a licensed psychologist, speaker, author, and founder of the Feeling Good Institute. Known as “The Gratitude Psychologist,” she teaches people how to cultivate joy, emotional resilience, and well-being through the power of gratitude and positive psychology. Her programs, books, and workshops are designed to make science-backed tools feel simple and accessible for anyone—especially during difficult times.

Learn more at www.peggydelong.com

Follow her on Instagram: @drpeggydelong

📚 Resources Mentioned:

• Dr. Peggy’s Book: Feel the Good
• Her Signature Program: The Gratitude Experience

🎯 Perfect for Listeners Who:

• Struggle with anxiety, grief, or overthinking
• Want to rewire their brain for peace and resilience
• Need a simple, powerful way to start a gratitude pra

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with psychologist, leadership advisor, and author Bob Rosen to explore what it really means to let go—not of people, but of the stories, fears, and beliefs that silently run your life.

Whether you’re obsessively checking your partner’s texts, chasing success but never feeling satisfied, or stuck in pain from your past, Bob’s message is clear: your attachments are stealing your peace.

Together, they unpack how detaching from control, perfection, and outdated narratives helps you build emotional security, deeper relationships, and a more grounded sense of self-worth.

From the fear behind obsessive thoughts to the healing power of self-forgiveness, this episode is a must-listen for anyone ready to stop spiraling—and start feeling free.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 We obsess to feel in control—but it keeps us stuck in fear.

💎 Letting go of the past isn’t forgetting—it’s releasing your grip on pain.

💎 Control shows up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, and overthinking.

💎 True intimacy starts when we stop trying to manage the outcome.

💎 You can’t build a secure relationship without building self-trust first.

🔑 Key Moments:

· 3:00 – The 10 invisible attachments that are silently running your life

· 6:45 – How childhood wounds show up in your adult relationships

· 8:50 – Why control and perfection are actually fear-based addictions

· 12:10 – How to stay connected to your partner without getting consumed

· 16:00 – The real reason self-love is essential to relationship security

· 21:00 – What “obsessive thoughts” are trying to do—and how to break the loop

· 24:50 – Bob’s personal battle with addiction, and how he finally let go

· 29:00 – The success myth: why achievements won’t heal your insecurity

· 32:00 – Why we fear aging—and how to detach from youth-based worth

· 35:00 – How to take Bob’s Attachment Assessment and start your own healing

👤 About Our Guest:

Bob Rosen is a psychologist, leadership expert, and author of Detached: Letting Go to Gain Clarity, Control, and Peace. With decades of experience coaching Fortune 500 CEOs, Bob brings a unique blend of Eastern and Western psychology to help people release mental baggage and reclaim their peace.

He shares not only client stories but his own powerful personal journey—including his recovery from opiate addiction and perfectionism—and how letting go gave him his life back.

📍 Find Bob’s book, take the Attachment Assessment, or download his Book Club Kit at: www.bobrosen.com

📚 Resources Mentioned:

• Book: Detached: Letting Go to Gain Clarity, Control and Peace
• Free Attachment Assessment: bobrosen.com

✨ Quote of the Episode:

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with relationship and communication expert Dr. Jessica Higgins to unpack one of the sneakiest relationship saboteurs: criticism.

Whether you’re nitpicking over the garage door or bottling resentment until it explodes, criticism can quietly damage your emotional connection. Dr. Higgins breaks down why we criticize, how it's often tied to fear, insecurity, or control—and what to do instead.

From revealing instead of blaming, to communicating needs without making your partner defensive, this episode is packed with powerful reframes and tools to shift from criticism to connection.

Key Moments:

· 2:00 – Why criticism is often an attempt to control, not connect

· 6:00 – How to tell the difference between a complaint an emotional need

· 12:20 – What your criticism is actually trying to say

· 20:40 – How to turn a complaint into a “reveal or request”

· 29:00 – The neuroscience behind why we misread our partner’s silence

· 38:00 – A hilarious hot tub story that’ll test your jealousy triggers

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 Criticism is often a shield for unspoken fear or vulnerability

💎 Most people don’t sign up for unsolicited feedback in their relationships

💎 Turning a complaint into a request helps your partner want to meet your needs

💎 You can feel connected and secure—even in uncertain moments

💎 When you reveal your “real” feeling, your partner is more likely to show up for you

About Our Guest:

Dr. Jessica Higgins is a licensed psychologist, relationship coach, and host of the Empowered Relationship podcast. She helps couples break out of reactive patterns and build deeper emotional intimacy. Her work blends neuroscience, emotional intelligence, and practical tools to help couples thrive.

Her free guide, “Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication,” offers powerful real-life examples to help you reframe common communication pitfalls and start getting your needs met—without pushing your partner away.

Resources Mentioned:

• Free Guide: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication (www.drjessicahiggins.com)
• The Gottman Institute’s Research on Criticism & the “Four Horsemen”
• Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp – Register for the upcoming Bootcamp

Quote of the Episode:

“If I turn any complaint into a request or a reveal, I give my partner a chance to actually show up for me.” – Dr. Jessica Higgins

Perfect for listeners who:

· Criticize out of habit—and want a better way to be heard

· Struggle with jealousy, control, or emotional reactivity

· Want to feel more seen and understood in their relationship

· Are ready to break patterns that keep them disconnected

· Are working to build secure, emo

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this powerful episode of Top Self, host Shanenn Bryant sits down with Leah Lemberg, who shares her remarkable journey from growing up in an alcoholic home to becoming 16 years sober and helping others transform their lives. From IV drug use at 18 to finding sobriety and purpose, Leah's story offers hope and practical wisdom for anyone struggling with addiction, unhealthy patterns, or leadership challenges.

Golden Nuggets:

💎 "How am I complicit in creating the conditions that I say I don't want?" - A powerful question for self-reflection

💎 Creating space in your day for reflection helps you make better choices when triggered

💎 There's always a moment of choice between reactive patterns and intentional responses

💎 Recovery isn't just about abstinence - there's a "third way" that offers true freedom

💎 "How you show up here is how you show up everywhere" - Our patterns affect all areas of life

About Our Guest:

Leah Lemberg is a coach who combines her 16 years of sobriety experience with business leadership expertise. After transforming her own life, she now helps others apply 12-step principles to business and personal challenges. Her sobriety date is January 9, 2009.

Perfect for listeners who:

• Are struggling with addiction or have loved ones who are
• Want to break unhealthy patterns in their personal or professional lives
• Are interested in applying 12-step principles to business leadership
• Need strategies for self-reflection and emotional regulation
• Want to improve how they show up in their relationships and work

Resources Mentioned:

• Book: "Reboot" by Jerry Colonna

Key Moments:

• [00:01:07] Introduction to Leah Lemberg and her dog Ajax
• [00:02:28] Leah shares her background growing up in an alcoholic home
• [00:04:35] Discussion of the rarity of maintaining sobriety
• [00:06:27] How addiction affects family dynamics and connectivity
• [00:08:04] The impact of maintaining appearances and facades
• [00:09:23] Exploring hypervigilance and its effects on relationships
• [00:13:47] How Leah transformed her experiences into helping others
• [00:16:04] The powerful question: "How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don't want?"
• [00:18:26] Breakdown of the 12-step approach adapted for business and personal growth
• [00:20:48] The "Hansel and Gretel" approach to reflection and awareness
• [00:23:50] The "Trash Heap" analogy for making better choices
• [00:28:22] Leah's wisdom on finding "the third way" beyond using and white-knuckling

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with Dr. Greg Stewart, counselor, executive coach, and author to explore why insecurity might be the most valuable emotion we experience. Dr. Stewart shares his powerful framework for understanding emotional triggers and reveals how owning our insecurities can be the key to personal freedom.

From his concept of "the house of your heart" to practical techniques like "embrace the digs," Dr. Stewart offers a refreshing perspective on emotional intelligence that can transform how you experience your relationships.

Golden Nuggets:

💎 "The plain and simple fact that you can't stand it when you fail proves it's not who you are at your core." - Dr. Greg Stewart

💎 "What happens when we take things personally? The insult is impacting our value and worth. And it should not."

💎 "Your identity is you at your best. This takes the impact of failures and weaknesses down from devastating to just disappointing."

💎 "I don't need my partner to validate or pursue me. I want them to, but I don't need them to."

💎 "When a strength is taken too far, it becomes a weakness—especially when we experience negative emotion."

About Our Guest:

Dr. Greg Stewart is a counselor, executive coach, and consultant who spent 15 years as a pastor and 3 years in organizational development. He's the author of two books: "I Cubed" for individual growth and "I Cubed for Couples," with a third book "I Cubed for Leaders" in development. Dr. Stewart completed his PhD studying emotional intelligence and brings a unique perspective on healing from insecurity and developing healthy relationships.

Resources Mentioned:

• Dr. Greg Stewart's book "I Cubed" for individual growth and development
• Dr. Greg Stewart's book "I Cubed for Couples" for relationship development
• Coming Soon: "I Cubed for Leaders" (Fall release)

Perfect for listeners who:

• Struggle with jealousy or insecurity in their relationships
• Want to stop taking things personally and being easily triggered
• Need to break free from seeking validation from others
• Are working on building confidence and self-worth
• Want to understand the deeper causes of their emotional reactions

Action Steps:

1. Identify what lies you believe about yourself that cause "inflation of emotion"
2. Practice "embracing the digs" by owning truthful criticism instead of defending
3. Evaluate whether your need for validation is making you emotionally dependent
4. Recognize when your strengths might be taken too far and becoming weaknesses
5. Ask yourself "What did I lose?" from past trauma that you need to reclaim

Episode Highlights:

[00:01:16] Why insecurity is the "richest emotion" for what it can reveal about ourselves

[00:02:49] The concept of "inflation of emotion" and why we often react more intensely than situations warrant

[00:04:08] The three main reasons o

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with Dr. Rachel Glik, a licensed professional counselor with over 30 years of experience as a couples and individual therapist. Dr. Glik shares insights from her new book "Soulful Marriage: Healing your Relationship with Responsibility, Growth, Priority, and Purpose," offering her thoughts on how to nurture lasting love and embrace conflict as an opportunity for growth.

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 "The impact of our own personal growth work and turning to ourselves first to transform, evolve, heal, and feel whole is how we create a better impact with the people in our lives."

💎 "When we are reactive, we only plant seeds that keep us in the same patterns."

💎 "Your relationship is your purpose to grow. Whenever there's growth, there's some sort of confusion or conflict."

💎 "Don't stop growing. Don't be afraid to grow. You can do it thoughtfully while still respecting your partner's journey."

💎 "People who are going to have long-lasting energy in their relationship are those who continue growing together."

About Our Guest:

Dr. Rachel Glik is a licensed professional counselor with more than 30 years of experience as a couples and individual therapist in her private practice. She has been featured on Fox 2 AM Show in St. Louis as a relationship and mental health expert. Her new book "Soulful Marriage: Healing your Relationship with Responsibility, Growth, Priority, and Purpose" offers a comprehensive approach to creating lasting, fulfilling relationships.

Resources Mentioned:

• Dr. Rachel Glik's book: "Soulful Marriage: Healing your Relationship with Responsibility, Growth, Priority, and Purpose"
• The "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" assessment questions in the book's addendum

Perfect for listeners who:

• Are experiencing relationship friction and want to reframe it as an opportunity for growth
• Need guidance on having productive conversations about relationship growth with their partner
• Want to understand the role of personal responsibility in relationship challenges
• Are questioning whether to stay in or leave their current relationship
• Are considering marriage and want to establish a strong foundation

Episode Highlights:

• [00:01:36] Dr. Glik discusses the various anxieties people experience around marriage and commitment
• [00:03:07] Why lasting love is a trainable skill that begins with internal growth
• [00:04:44] Strategies for sharing relationship wisdom with a partner who may not be receptive to reading self-help books
• [00:07:08] Finding balance between actively working on relationship issues and simply enjoying what's good
• [00:09:17] The importance of stepping back from problems to gain perspective and find unexpected solutions
• [00:12:10] How commitment to the process (rather than immediate solutions) cr

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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🤣 🤣 Get ready to laugh your way through relationship real talk!

In this episode, we're joined by the hilarious duo from the "We're Not Fine" podcast - relationship therapist Dr. Talia Jackson and Doug Jensen - for an unfiltered discussion about those "Is this normal?" relationship questions.

Shanenn, Talia, and Doug dive into:

• The great memorabilia debate: Is it okay to keep items from past relationships?
• The Instagram thirst trap dilemma: When does looking become liking?
• The workplace flirting fear: Where's the line between friendly and flirty?

Don't Miss Moments:

• "We're all human. And one of the things I think we don't do well in our culture is allow humanness." - on relationship reality checks
• "If you can't have fun and make light sometimes about serious things, you know, we just gotta lighten the mood sometimes." - on keeping perspective
• The hilarious algorithm incident that has Doug mysteriously following muscular men cooking with pugs 🐶

Golden Nuggets:

💎 Transparency and trust are more important than trying to protect your partner from difficult truths

💎 Every relationship needs its own unique agreements about boundaries

💎 Growth in relationships often means moving from insecurity to security through open communication

💎 Sometimes the hardest conversations are the most important ones to have

Action Items from the Episode:

• Have an open discussion with your partner about relationship boundaries and agreements
• Practice distinguishing between secrecy and privacy in your relationship
• Consider whether your social media behavior aligns with your relationship values
• Remember that what works for one couple might not work for another

About Our Guests:

Dr. Talia Jackson and Doug Jensen host the "We're Not Fine" podcast where they talk about relationships with no holds barred. Their combined expertise in relationship therapy and real-world experience brings both professional insight and practical wisdom to relationship discussions.

Find the Guests:

• Instagram: @DouglaslJensen and @DrTaliaJackson
• Podcast: We're Not Fine
• Website: werenotfine.com
• YouTube: We're Not Fine
• TikTok: @werenotfine

Perfect for listeners who:

• Want honest, unfiltered relationship advice
• Need a good laugh while tackling serious topics
• Are curious about what's "normal" in relationships
• Want to build healthier relationship boundaries
• Enjoy real talk about modern relationship challenges

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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❤️ The Date Doctor is Here!

In this episode of Top Self, we sit down with Dr. Christie Kederian, renowned relationship therapist, former eHarmony matchmaker, and author of the upcoming book "Ten Dates to Your Soulmate." Dr. K shares her expert insights on building healthy relationships, understanding family dynamics, and navigating the modern dating landscape with authenticity and purpose.

Key Moments

🎯 [02:04] The unique perspective of a therapist-matchmaker and the importance of having expert guidance in relationship choices

🎯 [05:09] Understanding family dynamics and how they shape our relationship patterns

🎯 [09:42] How to have vulnerable conversations about your past without oversharing

🎯 [17:54] Reading relationship red flags through someone's response to boundaries

🎯 [22:37] The truth about chemistry: It's more than just physical attraction 🎯 [29:58] Why over-filtering potential partners might be blocking you from finding love

🎯 [32:39] The role of attachment styles in relationship dynamics

Golden Nuggets

💎 Chemistry isn't just about initial spark - it develops over time and has multiple dimensions

💎 It typically takes women 5-7 dates to truly sense chemistry with someone

💎 Your family background influences your relationship patterns, whether you're close to them or not

💎 The "village mentality" is crucial for healthy relationships - don't expect your partner to be everything

💎 True empathy is a key indicator of relationship potential

About Our Guest

Dr. Christie Kederian is a renowned relationship therapist and former eHarmony matchmaker known as "The Date Doctor." Her upcoming book "Ten Dates to Your Soulmate" provides a strategic roadmap for finding and maintaining healthy relationships.

Action Steps for Listeners

• Practice sharing vulnerable information progressively rather than all at once
• Notice how potential partners respond to your boundaries
• Look beyond surface-level chemistry to explore emotional and intellectual connections
• Consider how your family background influences your relationship patterns
• Focus on one date at a time instead of immediately evaluating long-term potential

Notable Quotes

"Chemistry has a lot more to do with the connection with someone over a period of time... There's physical chemistry, emotional chemistry, intellectual chemistry." - Dr. Christie Kederian

"How someone responds when you communicate that you're triggered... that's where really the beautiful corrective emotional experience happens." - Dr. Christie Kederian

Perfect For Listeners Who:

• Are actively dating and feeling overwhelmed by the process
• Want to understand how their family back

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this powerful episode, Shanenn opens up about childhood trauma and how it shapes our relationship behaviors through hypervigilance.

Episode Highlights

• The development of hypervigilance as a childhood survival skill
• How childhood experiences with alcoholic parents can create heightened threat detection systems
• Why hypervigilance often gets mistaken for good intuition
• The physical and emotional toll of maintaining constant vigilance

Key Insights

• 70% of children from alcoholic homes develop hypervigilant traits that persist into adulthood
• Our body's stress response system gets programmed in childhood
• Emotional threats are processed by our bodies the same way as physical threats
• Hypervigilance can create false beliefs and misinterpretation of neutral situations

References Mentioned

• "The Body Keeps the Score" by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk - Purchase Book
  • Please note, I am an Amazon affiliate and I may receive a commission if you purchase this book from this link
• Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp - Register here
  • Any issues with registration reach out to support@topself.com

Call to Action
Join the Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp for:
- Access to the Overthinkers Toolkit
- 21 days of core wound reprogramming
- Daily check-ins and support
- Private session included
- Workbook and guided meditation resources

Time Stamps

[00:00:00] Introduction and welcome
[00:01:22] Personal story about childhood trauma
[00:05:04] Development of hypervigilance as a survival skill
[00:06:21] Scientific explanation of threat detection systems
[00:09:15] Research on childhood trauma and relationship hypervigilance
[00:15:07] Difference between curiosity and hypervigilance
[00:17:06] Body tension awareness exercise
[00:21:12] Reference to "The Body Keeps the Score" exercises
[00:22:18] Information about the bootcamp program
[00:25:52] Closing thoughts and practical steps forward

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Wanna know the science behind being happier? Check out this week's episode with Tedx speaker and happiness expert Tia Graham.

Tia Graham shares some powerful stuff about choosing happiness, managing triggers, and transforming childhood trauma.

From practical happiness frameworks to deeply personal stories about motherhood and healing, this episode is jammed packed with valuable tools for anyone looking to increase their joy and emotional regulation.

Episode Highlights:

• The SPIRE framework for wellbeing: Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Relational, and Emotional
• Why some people are naturally happier than others (and what we can all do about it)
• How childhood trauma can impact our adult relationships and parenting
• Practical tools for managing triggers and regulating your nervous system
• The power of short, meaningful connections with friends

Key Takeaways:

• The MEDS Framework for Daily Happiness
• Three Ways to Increase Happiness
• Tools for Managing Triggers

Guest Spotlight:

Tia Graham is a happiness expert and speaker who helps working moms find peace, joy, and emotional regulation. After transforming her own relationship with happiness through both personal experience and scientific study, she now leads the Calm Working Moms Collective.

Resources Mentioned:

• Book: "Self Compassion" by Dr. Kristen Neff
• Free Resource: 30 Self-Care Practices in 5 Minutes or Less at www.calmworkingmoms.com/selfcare
• The Calm Working Moms Collective

Perfect For Listeners Who:

• Want to increase their daily happiness
• Struggle with emotional triggers
• Are working through childhood trauma
• Need practical self-regulation tools
• Want to build stronger relationships

Quotable Moments:

"Happiness is a choice and it's something that you have agency over."

"Everyone can make it better for themselves... there is a component of choice and agency, and that's really around your thoughts, your behaviors, your responses."

Timestamp Highlights:

[00:01:23] Tia's journey into happiness research
[00:04:17] Understanding happiness set points
[00:04:51] The SPIRE framework explained
[00:12:33] Personal story about childhood trauma
[00:17:14] Practical tools for emotional regulation
[00:21:25] Free self-care resource introduction

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Ever caught yourself having a meltdown or giving your partner the cold shoulder because you're feeling insecure? (Been there, done that!)

In this follow-up to our conversation with Dr. Brittany McGeehan, we're going in hard on a game-changing truth: the only person who can't abandon you is yourself.

Get ready for some fiery talk about self-trust, validation-seeking, and why your inner child needs a time-out from running your relationships.

Key Takeaways

• Why are you testing your partner with "abandonment scales" that don't exist
• How suppressing emotions is actually self-abandonment in disguise
• The truth about external validation and why it's like trying to fill a leaky bucket
• Why building self-trust doesn't mean becoming a totally independent island
• How to stop abandoning yourself (even when you're feeling super insecure)

Memorable Quotes

💭 "Self-trust is the belief that you can rely on yourself to make decisions, handle emotions, and honor your needs"

Signs You Might Be Abandoning Yourself

1. Ignoring or suppressing your true feelings
2. Saying "yes" when you really mean "no"
3. Overworking to prove your worth
4. Putting others' needs first (even when you're running on empty)
5. Tolerating disrespect to keep the peace

Your Self-Trust Action Plan

1. Notice when you're seeking external validation
2. Challenge your black-and-white thinking
3. Start honoring your emotions
4. Practice setting boundaries
5. Trust that you can handle whatever comes your way

Episode Timeline

• 00:00 Welcome & Episode Recap
• 02:33 The Only Person Who Can't Abandon You
• 07:15 What Would Complete Self-Trust Feel Like?
• 12:45 The Closet Meltdown Story
• 18:30 Understanding Self-Abandonment
• 25:45 Building Real Self-Trust
• 29:20 Final Thoughts & Resources

Resources Mentioned

• Free Self-Discovery Workshop (Registration is Open!)
• Last Week's Episode with Dr. Brittany McGeehan (Episode 100)

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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This episode is fire! 🔥

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn talks with Dr. Brittany McGeehan, who dropped a major truth bomb that made her stop everything: You’ll have to hit play to hear it. This may be the only thing you need to hear today!

Dr. McGeehan, a licensed psychologist and performance coach specializing in empowering high-achieving female CEOs, shares the "Drama Triangle" and why we keep getting stuck in these relationship cycles. And you better believe Shanenn of course asked her how to get off the Drama Triangle cycle.

Key Moments:

• 2:36 - Review of the Drama Triangle (your new favorite relationship framework)
• 5:03 - The sneaky way victim mode shows up
• 15:18 - Your practical escape route from the triangle
• 21:40 - Why female CEOs are exceptional fixers

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 Your inner five-year-old has bigger control issues than you think

💎 The most dangerous thing you can do is talk to another human being (what?)

💎 Why your planning mode might be making things worse

💎 Giving the silent treatment is just spicy punishment in disguise

Don't Miss Moments:

"Humans are messy. The most dangerous thing you can do in life is talk to another human being and be in relationship with them." - on why relationships are inherently risky

"Adults always have a choice. We might not feel like we do, and we might not like that choice, but we always have a choice." - on breaking free from victim mode

Resources Mentioned:

• The Drama Triangle Framework

• The Powerhouse Paradox Framework

About Our Guest:

Dr. Brittany McGeehan is a licensed psychologist and performance coach who helps high-achieving female CEOs navigate personal and professional challenges through inner child work and leadership development.

Take Action:

Ready to figure out your drama profile? Take Dr. McGeehan's Powerhouse Paradox Quiz to discover your unique profile and get a personalized roadmap for building better relationships.

Perfect for listeners who:

• Find themselves constantly trying to "fix" their partner

• Feel trapped between victim and villain roles

• Are tired of being the relationship project manager

• Want to understand why they keep falling into the same patterns

• Need to stop treating their partner like a task list

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Shanenn understands how deeply our patterns are embedded in every corner of our existence. It turns out that relationship anxiety isn't just an isolated phenomenon – it's part of a larger tapestry of how we navigate life's complexities.

What We're Diving Into:

• The revelation that your inner critic has apparently developed a rather impressive portfolio, showing up everywhere in your life from dating, to work, to relationships... all of it
• What Top Self is currently offering so you can make this your year of change.
• The fascinating discovery that our defense mechanisms are surprisingly consistent performers across all life domains

Notable Moments:

"Our programming isn't compartmentalized" – which explains why some people lead the way they do, why some people react the way they do, why some people take things so personally. our patterns are everywhere and we are on autopilot unaware of most of them.

What's Available For You Now:

• Behind Your Jealous Mind Boot Camp: Six weeks of methodical pattern disruption ($397)
• One-on-one coaching: For those ready to conduct a thorough investigation of their life patterns
• CIS Membership: A collective of women examining their shared experiences with refreshing candor

Episode Breakdown:
00:00 - Embracing 2025
01:00 - The Paradigm Shift
03:00 - Origins and Evolution
05:00 - Pattern Recognition
08:00 - Strategic Next Steps
12:00 - Closing Thoughts

Remember: You're part of a community navigating these waters together.

For your next steps in pattern recognition and reformation, visit topself.com/bootcamp.

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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What will you be thinking ONE YEAR from now?

Will it be the same thoughts you're having today? Will you're focus be on the same things?

In this episode, we explore how your life could look totally different one year from now and why your thoughts might be your biggest obstacle to change. Shanenn gives an example of what she calls "heavy thinking" or better known as a thought spiral and suggests you could try to do the opposite.

What?

Shanenn shares:

• How your thoughts have likely been your biggest enemy this year and the physical impact of negative thought spirals on your body and emotions 🌀
• Why "heavy thinking" can be as intoxicating like heavy drinking, and how it leads to anxiety, upset stomach, and racing thoughts 😰
• The snowball effect of negative thoughts and how one small trigger (like a partner's schedule change) can lead to a full-blown emotional crisis 🔄
• The power of intentionally changing your "think of choice" and creating positive thought spirals for the new year 🌟

Don't Miss Moments:

"Repetition plus emotion programs life's commotion" - on how repeated thought patterns shape our reality

"What if, in this new year, you intentionally change your think of choice?" - on taking control of your thought patterns

Action Items from the Episode:

• Practice awareness of your thought patterns
• Start creating intentional positive thought spirals
• Envision how you want to feel and think in the next year
• Consider joining the upcoming Behind Your Jealous Mind Boot Camp in early February
• Practice positive overthinking, especially during morning anxiety

You would be amazed what a difference a year can make and you're worth putting in the time!

00:00 Introduction and the Power of Belief in Change
02:15 Understanding Heavy Thinking
03:45 The Spiral of Negative Thoughts
04:30 Physical and Emotional Impact of Thought Patterns
05:20 Creating Positive Thought Spirals
06:40 Envisioning Your Future Self

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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🎁 Only a few days left to claim your "Pay-What-You-Can" Coaching Session with me.

This episode talks about the crucial difference between guilt and shame, and why one might be secretly sabotaging your relationship growth.

Shanenn shares:

• How guilt is like your relationship GPS - letting you know when you've made a wrong turn, while shame is more like a brick wall blocking all possible routes 🚧

• Why treating yourself like your own mean girl isn't helping (and what Brené Brown has to say about it) 💭

Don't Miss Moments:

• "Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change" - breaking down Brené Brown's powerful insight

• "We're not going to take the steps to become self-aware if we believe we're fundamentally flawed" - on why shame keeps us stuck

Action Items from the Episode:

• Notice the difference between "I did something bad" vs. "I am bad"

• Practice self-compassion by asking "What would I say to a friend?"

• Start shortening your recovery time after jealous reactions

• Break free from shame cycles with practical tools

• Save your spot in the January "Behind Your Jealous Mind Boot Camp"

⚡️ Special Holiday Offer: Book your pay-what-you-can coaching session (min. $25) through December 31st at www.topself.com - Limited spots remaining!

00:00 Understanding Jealousy and Negative Emotions
00:18 Holiday Season Special: 12 Hours of Giving
01:58 Exciting Announcements for 2025
02:41 Introduction to Guilt and Shame
03:46 The Difference Between Guilt and Shame
04:33 The Impact of Guilt and Shame on Jealousy
10:44 Strategies to Manage Guilt and Shame
12:02 Upcoming Bootcamp and Final Thoughts

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Do you enjoy how you're currently spending your time? Do you feel like you use your time wisely? When I am insecure and jealous, I don't!

When you're feeling jealous, most likely you are spending your very precious time thinking about your partner rather than spending it on things that bring you joy, not a stomach ache.

In this episode, Shanenn and Dr. Adam Dorsay talk about the concept of connection in our modern world. Despite being more technologically connected than ever, many people struggle with loneliness and disconnection. Dr. Dorsay shares insights from his new book, Super Psyched about authentic connection and how to find it in various aspects of life.

Key Topics Discussed:

• The paradox of being technologically connected yet feeling disconnected
• The four dimensions of connection: self, others, world, and something greater
• How social media comparison affects our relationships and self-image
• Practical tips for maintaining long-distance friendships
• Creating novel experiences with your partner to strengthen connection
• The importance of investing time in activities that truly energize us

Notable Quotes: "We're more connected technologically than ever before... And yet, we are less connected than ever before." - Dr. Adam Dorsay

Resources Mentioned:

• Dr. Dorsay's Book Super Psyched
• Super Psyched Podcast
• Dr. Pat Love's "Hot Monogamy"

Connect with Dr. Adam Dorsay:

• Website: www.dradamdorsay.com
• TEDx Talks: "Friendship in Adulthood" and "Men and Emotions"

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Ever felt like you're starring in your own personal soap opera where every relationship ends with infidelity? Host Shanenn Bryant unpacks her own journey from "everyone cheats on me" to "huh, maybe I should check my math" in this eye-opening episode.

Key Takeaways:

• A shocking 50% of our memories aren't even accurate (Thanks, Dr. Joe Dispenza, for this incredibly eye-opening fact)
• Only 20-23% of men cheat in relationships (Sorry to ruin your trust issues with actual statistics)
• Married people cheat less than unmarried folks (Apparently, putting a ring on it does mean something to both men and women)
• The divorce rate isn't all about cheating (Turns out money problems are the real home-wrecker)

Shanenn shares a mind-blowing exercise that will make you question EVERYTHING you thought you knew about your dating history. Spoiler alert: her "everyone cheats on me" narrative turned out to be more like "25% of people cheated on me." Talk about a plot twist!

The Episode Breakdown:

✓ The relationship audit: A step-by-step guide to analyzing your dating history (grab your pen and tissues)

✓ The truth behind the numbers: Why your "everyone cheats" story might be as reliable as your ex's excuses

Crucial Reality Checks:

• Your partner's cheating probably has more to do with their issues than your worth
• Young relationships, unstable backgrounds, and core wounds all play a role in infidelity
• If your "yes" list is above 50%, you might not have a cheating problem – you might have a "picking partners" problem

Want to dive deeper? Shanenn mentions her "Behind Your Jealous Mind Boot Camp" coming up in January for those ready to break free from their trust issues and core wounds.

Contact: sbryant@topself.com to share your own percentage or insights from this exercise.

Remember: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean your math is right. Time to crunch those numbers and maybe, just maybe, give trust a fighting chance.

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Ever catch yourself saying "just so you know, I know what you COULD be doing" to your partner... even when you're pretty sure they're innocent? In this episode, Shanenn's calling you out when she gets into why we sometimes choose accusation over acceptance, even when our rational brain is screaming the obvious.

THE HEART OF IT

• The moment your logical brain offers the truth (and why we often ignore it)
• Why we feel the need to prove we're "not stupid" in relationships
• The protective pattern of "just so you know I know" statements
• How choosing trust over proof can completely change your relationship

Have you ever noticed that quiet moment before you launch into relationship detective mode? That split second where your mind offers up a perfectly reasonable explanation, yet something pushes you to prove you're not easily fooled? Shanenn breaks down this fascinating pattern and reveals why our need to appear "aware" might actually be working against us.

Through real-life examples, she shows us how these small moments of choice can shift our entire relationship dynamic. Learn why phrases like "just so you know, I know" might be hurting your relationship. Other topics covered in this episode are:

• The split second when your rational brain offers the logical explanation
• Why proving you're "aware" actually creates more anxiety
• The freedom in choosing not to voice every suspicion
• How tiny choices to trust can lead to massive relationship shifts

TRUTH BOMBS "Your life will be so much calmer, so much happier, and with less anxiety if you make the choice of saying, 'You know what, I'm going to go with this logical explanation.'"

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• [Coming Soon] "Triggered to Transformation" Course
• Email: sbryant@topself.com (Share your moments of choosing trust over suspicion!)

YOUR NEXT STEPS (Choose Your Own Adventure)

1. Notice when you're about to launch into "just so you know" mode
2. Pause when your brain offers the logical explanation
3. Try sitting with the peaceful explanation (just for 5 minutes!)
4. Share your experience with Shanenn at sbryant@topself.com

Did this episode hit home? Share it with someone who's ready to choose peace over proof.

Remember: Choosing not to say "just so you know" doesn't make you naive - it makes you brave.

00:00 Introduction to Top Self Podcast
00:49 A Teenage Adventure: Sneaking Out
04:41 The Consequences and Realizations
09:10 Understanding Triggers and Jealousy
17:49 Making Healthier Choices
21:28 Conclusion and Listener Engagement

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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🎙️ Where my freaks at? Control Freaks that is.

In this episode, we dive deep with psychologist and author Joanna Kleinman to unpack why that voice in your head is working harder than a barista during morning rush hour.

Shanenn and Joanna talk about:

• How your inner critic is just like the mean girl at school when you were growing up and she's been messing with you since you lost your first tooth 🛡️
• The Jerry Maguire "you complete me" line is such a bad representation of the way relationships should really work and your relationship expectations may be as older than that movie. Big red flag 🚩
• How social media has become the Olympic Games of impossible standards (and why we keep competing) 🏅

Don't Miss Moments:

"We're like starving dogs waiting for that bone of validation" - on why we stay in unhealthy relationships

"We're dishwashers - I'm a Whirlpool, you're a GE, but we all run the same programs" - on universal human patterns

Action Items from the Episode:

• Name your inner critic ... 😉
• Practice catching yourself in "control mode"
• Start asking "What evidence disproves this belief?" when your inner critic goes on a rant
• Start getting curious about your beliefs instead of judging them
• Practice being okay with the possibility of things not going "perfectly"

Follow Joanna on her podcast "Dethroning Your Inner Critic" where she dives deeper into the MIND Method and helps women stop being their own worst critics and start being their own best advocates.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:20 Understanding the Inner Critic
01:58 Origins of the Inner Critic
06:47 Cultural and Social Influences
09:33 Control and Perfectionism
11:35 Healthy Relationships and Self-Worth
21:32 Practical Steps to Dethrone the Inner Critic
29:20 Conclusion and Podcast Promotion

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn's guest, award-winning psychologist Dr. Courtney Warren opens up about her own struggles with relationship insecurity and shares her thoughts about the lies we tell ourselves.

From crying when her college boyfriend went out with friends to becoming an expert on self-deception, Dr. Warren's personal journey and professional wisdom offer hope for anyone wrestling with jealousy and relationship fears.

Key Moments:
- 2:00 - Why self-honesty is the key to living a fulfilling life
- 9:00 - Dr. Warren shares a vulnerable story about her college relationship
- 21:00 - The Three A's of Authenticity framework revealed
- 31:00 - Why your friends might not understand your jealousy (and that's okay)
- 37:00 - Small changes that lead to massive transformation

Golden Episode Nuggets:
💎 The most damaging lies are the ones we tell ourselves
💎 Jealousy often has nothing to do with your partner
💎 Your worth isn't determined by your relationship status
💎 Change happens in micro-steps, not overnight transformations
💎 Finding the right support system is crucial for healing

About Our Guest:
Dr. Courtney Warren is a board-certified clinical psychologist and author who specializes in addictions, self-deception, and eating pathology. Her TEDx talk "Honest Liars" has helped countless people understand the psychology behind self-deception and personal growth.

Resources Mentioned:
- Dr. Warren's TEDx Talk: "Honest Liars"
- Dr. Cortney Warren's Website and Books
- Support groups for relationship insecurity - Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Quote of the Episode:
"You are not defined by your romantic relationships... whether you are loved or liked or rejected or single or coupled actually has no bearing on your value as a person." - Dr. Courtney Warren

Perfect for listeners who:
- Struggle with jealousy in relationships
- Want to build healthier romantic partnerships
- Are ready to face their own self-deception
- Feel alone in their relationship insecurities
- Are working on building self-confidence

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Feel like your relationship is hanging on by a thread? Do you wonder if too much damage has been done to the relationship?

I was there too but you can turn things around. Your relationship can recover from this, but it's might take you going against how you normally feel after an argument to make a difference.

It may take you recovering quickly instead of letting the shame and guilt of your actions take over. Apologize to your partner, forgive yourself, and push yourself to get back to normal as quickly as possible.

In fact:

• Research shows couples who recover quickly from disputes have higher relationship satisfaction
• One partner's ability to recover quickly can positively impact the other partner
• Quick recovery helps prevent conflict spillover into other areas of the relationship

Here are some common things to avoid but there's so much more packed in this episode:

• Getting defensive when partner isn't ready to accept apologies
• Seeking excessive reassurance
• Engaging in catastrophic thinking

Shanenn also shares some recovery strategies like:

• Use "I" statements when explaining your perspective
• Focus on impact rather than intent
• Give partner space to process their emotions
• Return to normal daily routines
• Avoid forcing immediate reconciliation

Resources Mentioned

• Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp
• Individual coaching options
• ForYourMarriage.com
• PsychologicalScience.com

Something to highlight from the episode:
"As bad as it gets, if you start making the changes, remember, you can make big changes with small steps."

Social Media Posts

Post 1

🔄 Recovery is key in relationships! Research shows couples who bounce back quickly from conflicts have higher satisfaction levels. It's not about never fighting - it's about how you recover and reconnect.

RelationshipAdvice #CoupleGoals #HealthyRelationships #TopSelfPodcast

Post 2

💭 Struggling with post-conflict guilt? Stop the catastrophic thinking! Your relationship isn't doomed because of one argument. Learn how to recover and rebuild stronger than ever. New episode out now!

RelationshipTips #EmotionalHealth #PersonalGrowth #RelationshipGoals

Post 3

🗝️ Quick Recovery Tip: Focus on impact, not intent. Take accountability for your actions without getting caught up in explanations. Sometimes the "why" conversation needs to wait.

RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalIntelligence #SelfAwareness #CommunicationTips

Post 4

💪 Your partner's recovery process might look different from yours - and that's okay! Give them space to process while maintaining your normal

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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Join women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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🎉 Special Announcement:
Join our FREE Two-Day Self-Discovery Workshop!
Dates: November 4th & 5th at 1:00 pm ET
Register at: topself.com/workshop

I'm talking about you on this week's episode. The REAL you. Often we think we have to transform into someone else to overcome jealousy and insecurity and that seems like a huge feat to become your future self you want to be.

However, you already ARE your future self. In fact, you are much closer than you think because its not about changing who you are, its about uncover the layers of pain, hurt, disappointment and programming that you've been layering on over the years, covering up that care-free, relaxed person you once where.

Key Topics Covered:

• Why jealousy isn't who you are – it's just a protective pattern
• Understanding the root causes of jealous behavior
• How your nervous system creates safety through control
• Why fighting jealousy doesn't work (and what to do instead)
• Accessing your future self's wisdom today

You weren't born jealousy and insecure, you were conditioned that way. These are just faulty, fear-driven habits—not core components of who you are. Your feelings are perfectly valid but the thoughts creating them may need to be examined and adjusted.

Lucky for you... I have a free workshop coming up and I will share a little bit about what we'll do in that workshop in todays episode. The link to join is in the show notes or go to Topself.com/workshop to register.

00:00 Welcome and Exciting Announcements

00:10 Embracing the Fall Season

00:59 Introduction to Identity and Future Self

02:37 Challenging Jealousy as an Identity

04:53 Understanding the Root of Jealousy

06:23 Real-Life Examples of Jealousy

11:00 The Role of Past Experiences

13:26 Triggers and Nervous System Responses

14:22 Different Relationship Dynamics

17:45 Understanding True Safety

18:25 Reprogramming Your Brain's Safety System

19:15 Embracing Your Future Self

20:24 Accessing Your Inner Confidence

21:30 Join the Self Discovery Workshop

23:21 The Layers Covering Your True Self

25:42 Final Thoughts and Workshop Details

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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Join women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Feeling needy? Do you feel like you're high-maintenance and your constantly asking for things from your partner to make you feel better?

It has everything to do with your core wounds and your relationship to self. In this episode, Shanenn share's her acronym S.E.L.F to learn how to identify your personality needs and how to self-source those needs.

She shares the importance of becoming the captain of your own ship to maintain emotional balance and independence. Shannen invites you to take small steps towards self-sufficiency and happiness.

Don't miss this lighthearted take on serious topics, as she promises cracking the code on meeting your own needs could be a game-changing, life-altering experience.

00:00 Welcome and Introduction
00:19 Understanding Limiting Beliefs
01:03 Today's Topic: Meeting Your Own Needs
01:41 The Acronym SELF
05:49 Identifying Your Needs
14:46 Steps to Identify and Meet Your Needs
28:27 Conclusion and Challenge

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Wanna feel more supported?
Join women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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How we attach in relationships is everything! That's why we talk about it so much on the podcast and this episode is full of attachment style nuggets you're not going to want to miss. This week, Shanenn has none other than licensed marriage and family therapist and attachment coach Jessica DaSilva.

Jessica not only shares her own experiences as a former fearful avoidant but discussed all four types: anxious, dismissive avoidant, fearful avoidant, and secure attachment.

If you are wondering why you're friends are quite like you and could give a flying fruit loop about their husbands traveling out of town with a young co-worker, than slap on those earbuds and turn up the volume because Jessica's here to tell you why that is.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:44 Understanding Attachment Styles
02:17 Personal Journey with Fearful Avoidant Attachment
04:04 Impact of Attachment Styles on Relationships
04:51 Path to Becoming a Therapist
07:49 Exploring Anxious Attachment
12:48 Navigating Relationship Needs and Communication
15:05 Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Dynamics
17:44 Fearful Avoidant Attachment and Jealousy
22:02 Strategies for Developing Secure Attachment
31:13 Conclusion and Podcast Promotion

Register for the "Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp" today! Seats are limited.

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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If you've been feeling like you are not strong enough to conquer this jealousy thing or you just dont have what it takes to change your life around, I'm here to tell you, that's not it. That's not why so stop beating yourself up. You may just being going about it in the wrong way.

In this episode, Shanenn talks about the struggles of managing jealousy and insecurity despite trying various self-help techniques. She shares personal stories, including recent disruptions preventing new episodes, freeing a groundhog, dealing with a trapped skunk, and the misadventures of her skunk-sprayed German Shepherd BUT.... that's not even the good stuff you came here for.

She shares the importance of addressing subconscious programming and introduces her upcoming 'Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp' for those feeling stuck in their emotional battles.

00:00 Introduction to Overcoming Jealousy and Insecurity

01:37 Personal Updates and Apologies

02:48 The Groundhog and Skunk Saga

10:39 The Main Topic: Addressing Jealousy and Insecurity

13:35 The Turning Point: Therapy and Self-Discovery

18:00 Understanding the Subconscious Mind

23:22 Invitation to Join the Bootcamp

25:08 Conclusion and Upcoming Episodes

Register for the "Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp" today! Seats are limited.

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Ever been caught in the whirlwind of 'should I or shouldn't I?' when it comes to relationships? This episode takes a deep dive into the life-changing realization that the real question isn't about what to do, but about who you want to be.

Do you want to be a jealous, anxious person or someone who trusts and opens their heart? Tune in to learn how settling your internal chaos can transform your life and relationships.

00:00 Understanding Your Inner Self
00:12 The Dilemma of Trust and Action
00:27 Defining Your Desired Self
00:50 Practicing the Person You Want to Be

Check out Abby's amazing Tedx Talk

Register for the "Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp" today! Seats are limited.

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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The one thing I hear so much is how ashamed you are about being jealous, it actually even affects the growth of this podcast because you don't share it with your friends and family because you don't want them to know you're this way.

But I know you don't want to be this way and I also know that unfortunately you feel as ashamed and judgement because people will say your crazy, psycho or nuts and that makes you feel even worse.

Guess what, you don't deserve for ANYONE to say that to you. Not your spouse, your partner, your friend, your family members... no one. And on the show today, I talk about why you don't deserve it.

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this episode of the Top Self podcast, I talk with Michelle Brown, a functional nutrition and lifestyle practitioner with a specialty in the biology of trauma. Michelle explains how trauma affects the body's nervous system and the importance of addressing both mind and body to heal.

This episode is a good reminder that other factors are at play within our body when it comes to jealousy and we have to take a holistic approach. Michelle covers 2 BIG things to consider and put on your radar as you work to overcome your jealousy:

• how nutritional imbalances, neurotransmitters, and traumatic experiences can influence mood disorders, chronic pain, and other health issues.
• practical tips, including a mood fix assessment and somatic tools, for recognizing and addressing these imbalances for better mental and physical health.

00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Guest
00:26 Understanding the Biology of Trauma
01:37 Mind-Body Connection and Its Impact
05:13 The Role of Methylation in Mental Health
08:28 Exploring Neurotransmitter Imbalances
13:07 Addressing Trauma Responses
17:13 Practical Steps for Nervous System Regulation
27:19 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Grab Michelle's Mood-Fix Assessment here

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this episode, master financial coaches, Shana and Vanessa, who co-host the Financial Coaching for Women podcast, which ranks in the top 1.5% worldwide and stays in the top 10 "How To" podcasts on Apple in the US AND they are on Top Self today to discuss how financial transparency and trust are crucial in relationships.

Backed by five years of hands-on experience as financial coaches and training by Dave Ramsey, Shana and Vanessa, have guided thousands of people all over the world, crafted what feels like a million budgets, and honed their own unique systems. Their advice stands out because it's non-judgmental, straightforward, and breaks down complex financial concepts into simple, actionable steps.

They offer practical tips for couples to manage their money together, touching on:

• the significance of budgeting,
• building honest communication, and
• avoiding financial secrecy by setting up separate spending accounts while keeping joint finances transparent and honest
• ending the paycheck to paycheck cycle
• automating your budget, bill, savings and spending

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
01:35 How It All Began: The Story of Friendship and Business
02:20 The Importance of Trust in Financial Relationships
03:07 Common Financial Issues in Relationships
04:10 Early Financial Conversations in Dating
05:49 Impact of Upbringing on Financial Behavior
08:11 Transparency and Trust in Marriage
12:03 Building a Budget Together
15:36 Joint vs. Separate Accounts in Marriage
17:57 Creating a Joint Budget
18:07 Balancing Different Financial Priorities
18:46 Bonus Tip: Making Budget Meetings Fun
21:13 Automating Your Finances
21:40 Separating Accounts for Better Management
25:27 Handling Different Income Levels
28:43 Common Financial Mistakes
29:26 Digital Envelope System
31:21 Conclusion and Resources

Register for the Trust Building Bootcamp:

One-Time Payment

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Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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If you are someone who is a recovering alcoholic or thinking about getting sober, you're in the right place my friend. Addiction is tough and I have seen it throughout my family and others families and it can be so destructive.

Join myself and Rachel Harrison as she talks a bit about her recovery, how she is different today in many ways other than just being sober. I hope this episode can be an inspiration for you as alcohol mixed with jealousy whether you have an addiction to it or not, can be a recipe for disaster.

Connect with Rachel at www.recoveryoursoul.net

Register for the Trust Building Bootcamp:

One-Time Payment

Split Payments

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Today is heavy and you may feel called out a bit and it just might feel uncomfortable. Just like jealousy, this topic may feel shameful too but you are not alone in this either.

I'm talking about cheating and not your partner cheating... you cheating. I'll cover possible reasons this might be something you do or have done in the past. Its a short one but I hear it enough and I know you are feeling guilty and ashamed so I thought we should talk about it.

It's also a great reason to sign up for the upcoming Bootcamp and you can register by clicking either of the provided links below based on what payment option works best for you.

The Trust Building Bootcamp starts on August 7th. We meet every Wednesday at 7:00 pm Eastern Time for 6 weeks until September 11th.

Register for the Trust Building Bootcamp:

One-Time Payment

Split Payments

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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I am flying solo in today's episode and wanted to discuss just a few takeaways from my last guest Topaz Adizes and our conversation about the questions we ask and why we ask them.

It's a quick dump episode but an important one when it comes to communicating with our partners and the reassurance questions we ask over and over again.

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Feel like your asking the same questions over and over again to your partner? Does it seem like you already know what you want the answer to be? Wonder why your conversations often seem to escalate when you ask your burning question? Is your partner getting a little on the defensive side and maybe feel like their back is against the wall when answering.

It's very possible we're not asking relationship strengthening questions or posing our questions in the right way and here to tell you what you should be asking instead is an author and filmaker, Topaz Adizes, who has spent over a decade exploring human emotion and intimacy through over 1200 crafted conversations.

In this episode, as he gives some reframe examples, you can hear not only how the questions would land differently but how they open up the possibility for some really good conversations.

Here are a few other things we talk about:

the art of asking well-constructed questions to strengthen relationships
insights on maintaining a healthy partnership by creating the right space for communication.
practical advice about avoiding binary questions and ensuring curiosity-driven inquiries
the importance of regular check-ins to prevent conflicts from escalating

Topaz's work can be found at theskindeep.com.

00:00 Introduction to Topaz and His Work
01:23 The Concept of 'The And'
02:44 Crafting Meaningful Questions
07:51 Navigating Relationship Challenges
11:44 Creating Safe Spaces for Conversations
13:14 Maintaining Healthy Relationships
24:08 Personal Growth Through Relationships
25:22 Final Thoughts and Resources

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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This episode includes LIFE CHANGING information from Thais Gibson, that years from now, you're going to remember listening to it and know it was the pivotal moment that set you on a path of transformation.

As a leading figure in personal development, Thais is the co-founder of the Personal Development School and an expert in attachment theory.

Wonder why no matter how much you tell yourself you're not going to be jealous anymore and then just a few days later you find yourself in a jealous meltdown and don't know why you can't shake it? We talk about the reason for this and spoiler alert... your conscious mind can't outwill your subconscious mind.

Here are just a few of the mind blowing topics we cover in this episode:

• subconscious reprogramming techniques
• how to meet your own needs
• effectively dealing with core wounds that trigger emotional suffering, like jealousy

Thais also breaks down the four attachment styles: secure, anxious, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant, offering tips on how to identify and shift your attachment style for healthier, more fulfilling relationships. This life-changing episode promises to blow your mind and offer actionable steps to transform your inner world and outer connections.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Announcement
02:31 Thais Gibson's Background and Journey
02:44 Understanding Attachment Styles and Personal Development
04:23 Thais's Personal Struggles and Healing Journey
07:05 The Power of the Subconscious Mind
13:03 Core Wounds and Emotional Feedback
16:52 Jealousy, Envy, and Core Wounds
33:31 The Impact of Childhood Trauma on Adult Relationships
36:26 Late-Night Texts and Dating Dilemmas
37:03 Understanding and Addressing Unmet Needs
39:32 The Magical Kitchen Analogy
42:07 Steps to Meet Your Needs Independently
45:01 Reprogramming Core Wounds
50:40 Exploring Attachment Styles
01:01:45 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Take the Attachment Style Quiz

Get the book Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz

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Top Self Website

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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I absolutely can't stand it when I hear people say "you have to just get over it". Or especially things like.. you're crazy, or you're nuts when they are referring to you being jealous.

There is such a stigma around "being jealous" that people seem to just have no tolerance for. Yes, I understand it is not healthy, yes I understand its not something to pass off as if its OK to be that way but it certainly doesnt make you crazy or nuts or broken.

EVERYONE has something they need to work on or something that is triggering for them or reminds them of something else. That just means your brain is working the way it should. Its doing it's brain thing... survival and efficiency.

If you continue to feel bad about being jealous, you are going to keep focusing on the wrong thing and this will continue to be a heavy weight on your shoulders. Stop focusing on the idea that it is embarrassing or that they are something fundamentally wrong with you. There no need to put your enegy in that space.

The longer you run from it, the longer you try to deny or push down that you have this, the long you will be running from it.

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

You've been told to "Think Positive" so many times in your life and this could be keeping you stuck. According to my guest today, Dr. Eddie O'Connor, a clinical psychologist and host of 'The Psychology of Performance', shares his insights on the detrimental effects of positive thinking when misapplied.

This very thing is the reason I was kicked out of therapy. I kept trying to figure out how to fix the fact that I was angry at my father for being an alcoholic, that I was sad that I had been cheated on time and time again.

And, just as Dr. O'Connor explains in this episode, I didn't need to be fixed. I wasn't broken and you're not broken either. Join us in the great conversation as we talk about:

overcoming anxiety, building self-worth, and achieving peak performance
the importance of addressing and understanding fear and anxiety
practical strategies for managing performance anxiety
the value of resilience and realistic thinking over forced positivity

Bring us along on your drive and learn that acknowleding and adapting to your fears can lead to a more confident and fulfilled life.

00:00 Welcome to Top Self: Overcoming Anxiety and Insecurity

01:00 Introducing Eddie O'Connor: The Psychology of Performance

01:38 Unpacking the Myth of Positive Thinking

01:58 Eddie's Journey into Sports Psychology

03:45 Strategies for Overcoming Performance Anxiety

05:10 Applying Sports Psychology to Relationships

07:56 The Reality of Anxiety and How to Navigate It

15:05 Choosing How to Respond to Our Thoughts

18:05 The Limitations of Positive Thinking

22:02 Finding Purpose in Pain and Moving Forward

25:41 Closing Thoughts and Resources

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Every time you catch yourself nagging from here on out, you're going to remember this episode.

I have such a FIRE guest today. Dr. Abby Medcalf, a relationship expert, psychologist, author, podcast host, and TEDx speaker and she delivers some hard core truths in her very no-nonsense kind of way and one of them is...

Don't Have A Victim Mentality

Remember your mom saying, you're driving me crazy, or your're going to give me grey hair.... maybe that was just in my house BUT

hearing statements like these growing up have us to believe that we're responsible for other peoples feelings or that other people can make you feel a certain way.

The conversation really gets good when she shares that when we're not getting what we need, we focus on what we want and we NAG about what we want. This blew my mind to think about it and is now stuck with me.

Here are just a few other things that we talk about:

• overcoming the victim mindset in relationships,
• addressing jealousy, and the importance of taking responsibility for one's actions
• the power of meaningful communication with partners
• setting healthy boundaries and understanding one's needs

And, if that wasn't enough, she shares how to handle situations like flirting and unmet expectations in relationships, making the episode a must-listen for those seeking to improve their emotional intimacy and connection with their partners.

00:00 Welcome to Top Self Podcast: Meet Shannon Bryant and Dr. Abby Metcalf

02:38 Unpacking Relationship Dynamics: Victim Mindset and Jealousy

05:00 Navigating Insecurities and Setting Healthy Boundaries

13:01 The Art of Communication: Asking the Right Questions

18:10 Exploring Solutions Together: Collaborative Problem Solving

25:40 Understanding the Subconscious: Aligning Thoughts and Actions

28:32 Closing Thoughts and Invitation to Relationships Made Easy Podcast

Join the Trust Building Bootcamp today. Doors are closing soon so choose which option works best for you.

One-time Payment Option
Split PaymentOption

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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The Trust Building Bootcamp is starting soon and if you haven't joined yet, you want to listen to this episode.

I had in my head that if there had been something like this available for me when I was going through my jealousy and seeking resources, I would have jumped all over it. And then... just as we learn to do with jealousy, I questioned that thought. Would I have? Would I have signed up immediately. I don't know.

I wanted to think through possible reasons I wouldnt have signed up right away because we are all SOOOOO good at staying stuck in the mind drama so, here are the 3 big reasons I came up with about with that might be holding you back up until now and I offer up another way to think about them.

Cant wait to see you in the bootcamp. This round starts May 29th, 2024.

Join the Trust Building Bootcamp today. Doors are closing soon so choose which option works best for you.

One-time Payment Option
Split PaymentOption

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Trigger Warning.... sorta.... Not only is she Oxford trained smart, she's beautiful as well. The talented Katarina Polonska is my guest today and she's talking about the most important relationship of all. The relationship you have with yourself.

She shares:

• the importance of trusting oneself
• how to start building a healthy relationship with yourself
• the pivotal role of attachment theory in understanding personal relationships
• the significance of recognizing and setting boundaries to create trust and safety within oneself.

We also discuss how mindfulness and discernment can help distinguish between past projection and present moment realization, and the impact of establishing boundaries for a healthier life and relationships.

Katarina emphasizes the value of seeking help through relationship coaching to navigate trust issues and improve one's relationship with self and others.

00:00 Introduction to the Guest and Topic: Trusting Yourself

01:46 The Journey to Focusing on Relationships

05:44 The Importance of Trust and Self-Relationship

09:18 Navigating Boundaries in Relationships

15:32 Communicating and Respecting Boundaries

22:10 Identifying and Setting Healthy Boundaries

26:27 The Value of Relationship Coaching and Self-Work

29:50 Conclusion and How to Connect

Connect with Katarina here

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In a world constantly bombarding us with images of youth and perfection, navigating getting older can sometimes feel quite frankly... sad.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina, a Harvard-trained dermatologist and I talk about the entire spectrum from changes in our bodies to shifts in our mindset, and how embracing all of it requires a balance of self-care and self-acceptance.

She shares:

• her thoughts on cosmetic procedures vs. the fulfillment that comes from within
• the importance of prioritizing oneself
• covering the psychological impacts of aging, particularly on women
• practical skincare advice for various life stages

BUT... One of the most powerful parts of the discussion for me was when Dr. Mary Alice spoke about where you place value and the currency you hold on beauty. Ah.. SO good.

She also had to school me on what slugging was... I'm so not cool anymore.

But dont worry, of course she gave us some amazing skin care tips for each phase of life 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's and beyond and some really cool emerging trends in dermatology that may be coming your way. Unless of course you live in the midwest like me and in that case we probably wont see it for another 5 years or so.

Snag Dr. Mary Alice Mina's pdf on how to create healthy skin habits here.

00:00 Welcome and Introduction to Today's Special Topic

00:46 Introducing Dr. Mary Alice Mina: A Deep Dive into Skin Care

02:10 The Realities of Aging and Skin Care: A Candid Conversation

06:11 Navigating Midlife Changes: Insights and Empathy

12:14 Practical Skin Care Tips Across Different Life Stages

25:52 Embracing Aging: Mindset and Maintenance

28:15 Exploring New Frontiers in Dermatology

30:51 Closing

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Sizzle, sizzle! This is a hot topic and one I hear a lot of drama around and it makes perfect sense of why the ex or mother of your partner's child might be a area of insecurity for you.

• I tackle the sensitive topics of dealing with ex-partners and the dynamics they play in your relationship
• try to get you to reconsider how much information needs to be shared about past relationships
• share an exercise to boost the validation your partner has already given you throughout the relationship

but my ultimate message is one of confidence, self-value, and the unnecessary nature of obsessing over a partner's past for a healthy, present relationship.

00:00 Navigating Past Relationships: Exes and Baby Mamas

00:27 Welcome to Top Self: Overcoming Jealousy and Insecurity

01:38 Dealing with Exes: Setting Boundaries and Overcoming Jealousy

06:05 Navigating Relationships: Setting Expectations and Finding Security

13:29 Self-Validation: An Exercise to Boost Your Self-Worth

16:31 Conclusion: Embracing Confidence and Security in Relationships

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Do you remember the last time you got ready to go somewhere, an event, or to work or to church, or just to hang out with your friends and you felt really good about the way you looked. Like you maybe even said to yourself, I feel good, I look good?

It's not about how you look but about how you FEEL and today's guest is an expert at making women feel good about themselves both inside and out. She is the founder of CSJ, a leading styling company and she has such a gift for being able to impact self-esteem and confidence from the outside in, through styling.

Yes Jessica Papineau shares some really great fashion and styling tips with us like

• how women can enhance their image by focusing on the 3 F's; fit, fabric, and fashion
• the right way to try on jeans and the reason it's important to steer clear of the cheap ones
• tips for cleaning out your closet

But I think the real bomb shell is when she reveals the really interesting and really sad thing all women do when they look at themselves in the mirror and she really goes deep into the psychological aspects of dressing, like the role of self-reflection in personal styling,

This episode is not only going to help you learn how dress like the person you want to become but also how to be happy with the person you already are.

00:00 Welcome to Top Self: A Unique Episode Awaits
00:13 Introducing Jessica Papineau: Fashion as a Tool for Confidence
00:35 The Power of Perception: Fashion, Confidence, and Self-Improvement
09:33 Jessica's Journey: From Backwoods to Fashion Expert
16:47 The Transformational Approach: Styling from the Inside Out
24:46 The Three Fs of Fashion: Fit, Fabric, and Fashion
36:46 Final Thoughts and How to Start Your Styling Journey

Book a FREE Styling Call with Jessica

FREE Wardrobe Edit Blueprint available here

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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Top Self Website

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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I know you have a million thoughts going on in your head right now so before you click "play" on this episode really commit to listening to it with as little amount of distractions as possible because in this episode of the Top Self Podcast, I am talking with wellness practitioner Heather Lillico about strategies for managing anxiety, particularly for overthinkers, perfectionists, and people pleasers.

Sound like someone you know? Here's a quick snapshot of just some of the things you might find interesting and sometimes you might feel like we're talking about you.

• The biggest mistake when managing anxiety
• the challenges of perfectionism
• 0 to 100 spiral and the deeper belief being activated
• the impact of limiting beliefs from childhood
• the link between how we're eating and how we're feeling
• what daily practice can improve your mental health

Also, Heather shares some really easy foods to eat that actually help with anxiety. We tend to overeat when we're upset and anxious anyway... why not eat stuff that's good for your anxiety right.

00:00 Introduction

00:47 Understanding Perfectionism and Anxiety

01:37 The Role of Food and Exercise in Managing Anxiety

01:37 Exploring Overthinking and its Roots

01:43 The Impact of Limiting Beliefs on Anxiety

02:23 The Connection Between Anxiety and Fear of Abandonment

03:04 Reprogramming Limiting Beliefs

04:09 The Role of the Subconscious Mind in Anxiety

07:03 The Importance of Identity in Managing Anxiety

09:38 The Impact of Food on Mood and Anxiety

17:43 The Role of Exercise in Managing Anxiety

21:25 The Power of Meditation in Reducing Anxiety

27:19 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Try Heather's Cultivating Calm Apphere

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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A couple weeks ago, my guest Dr. Corey Allen dropped 2 mind-shifting, bombs on the podcast and I was worried that maybe you were in anxiety mode with a swirl of thoughts running through your mind as you were listening and might have missed them. So, I decided to do a whole episode on the 2 nuggets so this time, you really need to concentrate and let it sink in.

Here's a run down of the highlights in this episode:

• self-validation and looking at your jealous moments as opportunities to show up as your best self, in the absence of any other validation.
• getting yourself from one state of mind to another, feeling your worth and telling yourself its understandable why you might be jealous and doing it all by yourself, without the help or assurance from your partner.
• the significance of accepting your own internal experiences and managing your emotions constructively
• the tight grip you have on your partner. You may think the two of you are too far apart but nope, it's quite possible you are too close together.
• an invitation to the new membership called Self Improvement Society or SIS for short.

00:00 Unlocking the Power of Self-Validation

02:05 The Journey to Self-Validation: Embracing Your Emotions

07:34 Navigating Jealousy and Insecurity: A Path to Self-Improvement

14:44 The Surprising Truth About Relationship Dynamics

20:55 Introducing the Self-Improvement Society: A New Way to Grow

28:07 Invitation to Join SIS

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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I have a major crush on what today's guest is doing. She is working on a treatment module for trust. Thank goodness for people like clinical psychologist. Shannon Sauer-Zavala. She talks about understanding the function of behavior and that there's a reason you're thinking the way you do.

Because people think about trust in a black and white way, she shares a trust exercise called Dimensions of Trust where you look at the facts of the people you're in a relationship with now because we're operating from things in the past.

One of my favorite parts in the episode is when Dr. Sauer-Zavala explains that you have to give people the opportunity to show you that they're not your mom, not your ex, not your alcoholic father because as long as you don't, that old narrative sticks because that's still the only evidence you have.

This whole episode is an outline of the approach to building trust, which focuses on understanding the function of protective behaviors, cognitive reframing, and behavior change through exposure, and mindfulness.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

01:37 Choosing the Topic of Trust

02:01 Understanding Trust in Relationships

03:31 The Role of Behavior in Trust

04:12 Understanding the Function of Behavior

04:56 The Impact of Past Experiences on Trust

07:20 The Role of Self-Validation in Trust

07:48 The Importance of Testing Trust

09:37 Understanding the Nuances of Trust

22:05 The Role of Mindfulness in Trust

24:32 Conclusion and Contact Information

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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As most of us Jealousy Junkies are clinging on to our partners. Marriage and Sex Therapist Dr. Corey Allen says... a couple's problems could be a result of them being too close. Not leaving room for individuality. I thought this was a really important message I wanted you to hear because it isn't smothering in the way we make it out to be... it means there is too tight of a grip for growth and change and THAT is what lands you on Corey's couch and gives him and his wife material for their amazing podcast Sexy Marriage Radio.

In this episode of Top Self, Corey talks about the natural progression of a relationship from passionate beginnings to confronting everyday realities. Which by the way this usually about the time we freak out because the hot and heavy is slowing down and of course we make it us. But Dr. Allen says we have to understand the role of assurance in the relationship and he breaks it down in a way I hadn't thought about before through self-validation. I know that's going to be a huge aha moment for you when you hear it.

And the conversation gets a little spicy when I ask him some questions about sex like which gender is usually the microwave and which is most likely to be the oven when it comes to sex drives and he shares what he and his wife say to each other if the other turns them down that might just change their mind so there's a little heat at then end, so you may have to sit in the parking lot at work to make sure you hear the whole episode.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Background

02:53 Understanding the Evolution of Relationships

03:38 The Science Behind Falling in Love

04:48 The Transition from Infatuation to Reality

06:59 The Role of Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships

09:05 The Role of Assurance in Relationships

10:09 The Impact of Change and Growth in Relationships

10:57 The Importance of Self-Development in Relationships

11:28 Addressing Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships

14:28 The Importance of Self-Validation in Relationships

18:43 Understanding the Dynamics of Relationships

20:20 Dealing with Betrayal in Relationships

20:20 Embracing Emotions and Healing

20:20 Understanding Trauma and Its Impact

20:20 The Cycle of Healing and Growth

20:20 The Role of Sex in Relationships

24:45 Navigating Sexual Dynamics in Long-Term Relationships

28:55 The Power of Self-Confidence in Sexuality

32:46 Final Thoughts and Resources

Connect with Corey on his website Sexy Marriage Radio FM

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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It's so good to be back in the swing of things and to do a solo episode with you. The exercise I share with you in today's episode is one I did as I was starting to notice improvements in myself with my jealousy and I wanted to share it with you.

You have to DO the work not just hear about it so make sure to go the show notes or to topself.com/evaluation and download the worksheet to use. You can save a blank one as a template and then just copy a new one for each time you have a jealous moment or meltdown and you want to make improvements.

Send me an email and let me know your WINs, your WTFs, and your FIXs (you'll get the reference once you see the worksheet.

00:00 Introduction and Personal Covid Experience

00:42 Traveling and Covid Complications

02:01 Returning Home and Dealing with Aftermath

04:25 Introducing the Situation Evaluation Exercise

06:09 Understanding the Importance of Taking Action

06:56 How to Use the Situation Evaluation Worksheet

09:39 Breaking Down the Situation Evaluation Worksheet

17:18 The Importance of Recognizing Wins and Flops

19:39 Implementing Changes for Future Growth

20:34 Conclusion and Encouragement to Use the Worksheet

Snag the Situation Evaluation Worksheet here.

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Ever wanted to get inside the mind of a couples therapist and ask questions? Well, in today's episode, I took full advantage of having the great couples therapist, Dr. Bruce Chalmer on and I asked some burning questions for you like:

• How to get your partner to go to therapy when they don't want to
• What's the first thing you would do if you were working with a couple with jealousy in the relationship
• Why couples get it wrong when they say their biggest issue is communication

Bruce shares the idea that couples often choose stability over intimacy and this is what he calls the "death spiral" of passion in a relationship. I loved this topic as it just brings to light how often we push away our true authentic self because we are too afraid of what someone else, in this case our partner, might think.

He also compares couples therapy to improv so you'll have to tune in to hear why.

00:02 Introduction and Guest Presentation

00:42 Overcoming Reluctance to Attend Couples Therapy

04:03 Choosing the Right Therapist: A Discussion

05:43 Communication vs. Content: A New Perspective

07:51 Understanding Jealousy in Relationships

10:17 The Role of Attraction in Relationships

17:00 The Death Spiral for Passion: Stability vs. Intimacy

20:50 Restoring Intimacy in Relationships

20:54 Dealing with Jealousy and Insecurity

21:36 Seeking Reassurance and Self-Validation

22:43 Understanding the Value of Your Partner

24:41 The Role of Fathers in a Daughter's Life

25:40 Couples Therapy and Improv Comedy

31:14 Navigating Arguments in Relationships

32:06 The Magic Key to Relationship Problems

34:20 Closing Remarks and Contact Information

Connect with Dr. Bruce Chalmer

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Today I interview bestselling author, psychologist and happiness coach, Dr. Jisunny Fisher about how to face the fear of the unknown and unpredictable.

Dr. Fisher talks about the human inclination towards avoiding pain over pursuing pleasure and the neural evolution of the human brain into three parts - reptilian, mammalian and human - and how specific fears are associated with each part.

She walks you through the concept of identity, explaining the 'identity funnel' and how to rewire your self-beliefs through mindful awareness which has 3 parts; attention, attitude and aim.

I think you're going to love this episode. I know I gained a lot from this interview.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Presentation

00:26 Overcoming Fear of the Unknown

01:36 Understanding the Human Brain and Fear

02:25 The Role of Control in Fear

02:52 The Concept of Three Brains

02:56 Dealing with Jealousy and Uncertainty

04:53 Understanding the Fear of Abandonment

07:17 The Impact of Attachment Styles on Relationships

10:08 The Importance of Self-Identity

11:37 The Identity Funnel: Understanding Self

15:48 The Role of Beliefs in Shaping Identity

26:56 The Power of Mindful Awareness

30:03 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Grab Jisunny's award winning book The Bodhi Blueprint: Master Your Fears and Live a Life On Purpose. Now available on Amazon

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Did you know, a women's body follows infradian rhythm?

Well, better late than never on me getting this episode out but this is the final episode to wrap up the physical health month that was supposed to go out in January BUT...

Jenny Swisher is a personal trainer, nutrition specialist, and health practitioner, and we have a great discussion about women's hormones, cycle syncing, and physical health.

I learned so much from this episode and I think it's something all women should hear and be aware of. As Jealousy Junkies, we have enough gilt and shame to deal with and taking time to rest during your cycle is not something else to add to the mix of guilty feelings.

As women, we often hear comments like "you're all over the place" or "your so emotional" and that causes us to feel like there is something wrong with us but as my guest, Jenny Swisher explains in this episode, our hormones are fluctuating throughout the month.

The other super cool thing she explains is how syncing your cycle allows you to know when to plan those date nights, what days to pull back on your workout and what days you can show up like a beast.

00:00 Introduction and Personal COVID-19 Experience

03:03 Jenny's Personal Journey to Hormone Health

06:40 The Importance of Being Your Own Best Doctor

09:20 The Birth of SYNC: A Course for Women's Health

11:50 The Importance of Understanding Your Menstrual Cycle

14:27 The Need for Early Age Education on Women's Health

14:52 The Role of Ovulation in Women's Health

19:43 Understanding Your Body's Needs

19:59 Overview of the Menstrual Cycle

20:26 The Importance of Rest

20:49 The Role of Estrogen

21:38 Strength Training and the Menstrual Cycle

22:09 Understanding the Ovulatory Phase

24:25 The Impact of Overtraining

26:40 The Role of Progesterone

27:44 Cycle Syncing and Nutrition

32:47 Understanding the Infradian Rhythm

35:01 The Impact of Menopause on Hormones

38:04 Closing Remarks and Contact Information

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In today's episode I share a recent personal journey that intertwines physical health and emotional wellbeing, using my own 10-day detox diet as a parallel to overcoming jealousy.

Its all about the power of choice. From the challenges of an incredible detox program to the challenges typically faced when overcoming jealousy. I share my experiences and introduce the concept of the 'jealousy reassurance loop' - a cycle, comparable to sugar addiction, that needs to be broken by making conscious choices.

I'll share the transformative effects of my detox on my physical wellbeing and how it mirrors that process on an emotional level, to hopefully change your narrative and choose better outcomes in your jealousy struggles.

00:57 Introduction to the Podcast

01:32 My Health Journey and Its Connection to Jealousy

01:40 The 10 Day Detox Experience

04:17 The Impact of the Detox on My Health

18:46 The Power of Choice in Health and Jealousy

20:17 Testimonials from Group Coaching Sessions

21:18 The Jealousy Reassurance Loop and Sugar Cravings

23:47 The Power of Choice in Overcoming Jealousy

27:06 Conclusion and Invitation to the Trust Building Bootcamp

If you're interested in the detox diet I talk about in the episode, here is the link to the book that I followed: The 10-Day Detox Diet

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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He's a social media phenomenon and and author of the book "Blood Sugar Doesn't Lie", Dr. Ben Galyardt is my guest today. We share the same philosophy of... treat the root cause, not the symptom.

You wont believe how much food is tied to not just your mood but perhaps some other things going on that have been bothering you. And, did you know, constant spikes in your blood sugar level can make you gain weight. I know weight gain might further you're negative thinking about yourself so throw those ear buds on and get ready because this isn't your usual health talk.

• We're revealing how this groundbreaking approach is reshaping the landscape of patient care
• discover how functional medicine isn't just another treatment option
• challenges you might face in conventional medicine
• strategies to advocate for a more profound, investigative approach in your medical journey
• the intricate dance of blood sugar levels and their far-reaching impact on our health
• how this technology has turned lives around by using a Continuous Glucose Monitor (CGM)
• how this tool could be the key to slashing healthcare costs and elevating health consciousness across the nation. 00:00 Introduction and Importance of Health

00:28 Guest Introduction: Dr. Ben Galyardt
00:48 Understanding Functional Medicine
00:55 The Philosophy of Functional Medicine
02:08 The Importance of Root Cause Analysis in Health
02:58 The Role of Doctors and Patients in Health Management
04:02 Challenges in Traditional Medical Model
13:21 The Importance of Blood Sugar Stability
14:53 The Use of Continuous Glucose Monitors
17:20 Discovering Hypoglycemia
17:20 The Power of Continuous Glucose Monitoring
19:44 Understanding the Impact of Blood Sugar Levels
21:53 The Individual Impact of Different Foods
23:27 The Struggle with Sugar Addiction
30:10 The Controversy Around Continuous Glucose Monitors
34:17 The Importance of Basic Health Practices
36:54 Connecting with F8 Wellness Center

Grab Dr. Ben's book Blood Sugar Doesn't LieSign up with Dr. Ben with this New Patient Special

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Connect with Shanenn

Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Did you know your food can affect your mood? I thought I was just in a bad mood. Turns out, it could be the food I ate. :)

Go beyond your typical New Year's resolutions and redefine your relationship with food, your body, and your well-being. Our special guest, Tina Hong, an accomplished Executive Health and Wellness Coach and NLP mindset practitioner, shares the path for women seeking not just change—but renewal—in their personal and professional lives.

We have a great chat about food and mindset to kick off the new year because no matter what your goals are, without your health, you have nothing. Here are some things we talked about but there was SO much more.

understanding the pivotal role of stress and hormones in weight management. Our conversation promises a shift in perspective, revealing

• how mindful practices can help combat stress-induced eating and
• how a deeper connection with your body can lead to lasting health.
• the emotional dimensions of eating
• the necessity of making thoughtful dietary choices for a nourished life

This was a jammed packed episode and I am all in on changing my eating habits and monitoring my blood sugar level so here are some other things Tina shared in the episode:

• how stress, anxiety and hormones can impact weight and overall health
• the benefits of nourishing, nutrient-dense foods and how it can repair the body naturally
• effects of quick-fix solutions such as synthetic peptides Ozempic and Wegovy
• critical importance of monitoring blood sugar levels for everyone, not just those with diabetes

Stay tuned because the whole month of January is all about health, and I'm going to be vlogging my new lifestyle changes and wearing a continuous glucose monitor!

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction
00:00 Importance of Physical Health and Mindset
00:58 New Year Resolutions and Health Goals
02:14 Guest Introduction: Tina Hong
03:06 Discussion on Midlife Changes and Health
03:41 Understanding Client Needs and Challenges
08:39 The Role of Nutrition and Mindfulness in Health
11:34 Impact of Stress and Anxiety on Health
14:11 Understanding the Connection between Anxiety and Physical Health
18:28 The Power of Mindset in Weight Loss
18:39 The Importance of Mindset in Health and Fitness
19:56 The Role of Nutrition in Hormonal Balancing and Weight Loss
20:18 Overcoming Self-Doubt and Believing in the Possibility of Change
21:15 The Misconception about Cardio and Weight Loss
23:08 The Impact of Diet on Blood Sugar Levels
23:33 The Pros and Cons of Using Medical Devices for Health Monitoring
30:36 The Connection between

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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Connect with Shanenn

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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What if you could decode the mysterious signals your body and mind send you every day? Together with mindset coach, Dr. Ashley Greer, we'll discuss how a clear mind can help differentiate between fear and intuition. As we walk you through the process of sitting with your emotions, expect to explore how your own thought patterns could reshape how you approach your everyday life.

Did you know you can also improve your trust in your intuition? Ashely shares how you an do this by starting out with simple yes / no questions. She will also share:

• intuition anchoring, an insightful technique that taps into your body's reactions to these questions
• how to use this powerful tool to your advantage, particularly when navigating treacherous waters like relationships
• practical strategies to understand and overcome emotional challenges, bound to leave you with a better understanding of your relationships.

But remember, intuition, like any other skill, needs to be honed and practiced regularly, and that's exactly what we intend to help you do.

I hope to inspire trust in your intuition and foster a stronger connection with your inner wisdom. So, are you ready to join us on this transformative journey? There's a whole world of self-discovery coming your way in this episode.

Happening NOW through December 31st, receive 15% off the Trust Building Bootcamp that begins January 30th. Register here before it expires.

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Your emotions drive your actions, especially in relationships? In our latest episode, we sit down with Martina Booth, a relationship visionary and emotional artist, who's mastered the art of processing feelings and navigating emotional dependencies.

Martina shines light on how jealousy in relationships stems from old wounds and the void we have within ourselves. In the episode she shares:

• her unique insights on the concept of 'ordinary trauma' and how it impacts our daily lives
• a vivid picture of codependency, emphasizing that it is a prevalent dynamic in many relationships, and not just limited to trauma bonding
• the need to move away from unhealthy reliance on perfect dependency.
• love versus connection and how the expectation of exclusivity can lead to jealousy and conflict
• how hurt in relationships often comes from our insecurities and past experiences magnifies the need for personal responsibility for our feeling

Cozy up with your favorite headphones and join us as we wrap up with practical techniques for coping with jealousy and emotional discomfort.

Snag a copy of the book The Body Keeps the Score

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Are you tired of being held hostage by jealousy and insecurity? Join me this week as I talk about the #1 thing you need to do to overcome your extreme jealousy.

Learn about the power of change, and how stepping out of your comfort zone can lead to personal growth and transformation. Discover the resilience within you as we discuss the importance of tenacity, the courage to keep going, even when the progression is invisible.

Struggling with jealousy? Let's uncover the importance of celebrating every minor victory, discovering the impact of acknowledging personal growth, and the value of making different choices to yield different results.

Brace yourself for growth as one decision to do something different can make all the difference in the world. You're not alone on this journey, and there are always options for change.

Get Rich Diveny's book The Attributes: 25 Hidden Drivers of Optimal Performance

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Have you ever felt like a fraud, despite your clear success and achievements? This week I'm joined by a leader of global test operations for NASA, the US Military, and Homeland Security, as well as keynote speaker and coach, John Mollura, to talk about imposter syndrome.

Even when he received a commendation from the Department of Defense, John could not shake the feeling that he just wasnt good enough. He felt like a total fake. What's crazy is if you're a higher performer, you've probably felt this before.

In this episode, John shares:

• how self-awareness and self-development minimize the power of this syndrome
• practical tips on handling not only imposter syndrome but also other negative emotions like jealousy
• the unique challenges brought by the digital age, where constant exposure to social media can lead to constant comparisons and feelings of inadequacy
• a three-step theory for overcoming imposter syndrome

Grab your headphones, turn up the volume and listen as John helps you turn down the volume on imposture syndrome.

Connect with John

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this week's episode I am joined by Adam Hill. A CEO, triathlete, speaker, and author who generously shares that the opposite of fear is not fearless, it's flow.

Adam shares the Maffetone Method and how doing something at 80% of your maximum effort get you massive results and how to have a different relationship with fear.

We also discuss:

• the dangerous notion of trauma comparison, emphasizing the importance of respecting our personal battles.
• how changing our relationship with fear can be a catalyst for personal growth.
• how fear can present opportunities and the crucial task of differentiating between fear of danger and opportunity fear.
• the importance of meeting our fears head-on and turning them into instruments for personal growth.

Adam also shares how the often overlooked reality that success is not about relentless effort, but more about endurance and pacing oneself. As Adam shares his experiences training for an Ironman Triathlon, we learn about self-discipline, realizing dreams, and converting fear into an ally.

Tune in, and let’s look at fear differently.

Connect with Adam at adamcliffordhill.com

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Ever felt burdened with an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, trying to control your relationships and often leaving you drained?

In this episode, I talk about the damaging implications that control has on your relationship. Referencing the Adult Children of Alcoholics Laundry List, I delve into my own experiences to expose the exhausting effects of being overly controlling.

I hate that sometimes "being controlling" is talked about as if its cool or makes you somehow sound above average or that you've got it all together. The same is true when people say they are perfectionist. Neither of those are great to be in my opinion and really are a sign that you are too focused on things other than looking at yourself.

We love to tell our partners what to do and who they can talk to and what they should type back to an ex or family member in a text. Quite frankly.... you should be focused on on yourself. Use that energy to accomplish your own goals and dreams and let your partner be the adult they are.

I'll bust the myth of control and perfectionism, revealing it as a mere distraction from addressing our real issues. By learning to lead ourselves, we can foster healthier relationships and a richer life. Remember, you're not alone in this journey, and there's a free discovery call waiting for you.

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Struggling with intrusive thoughts and anxiety? You're not alone. Join us this week for a great conversation about anxiety and intrusive thoughts with special guest, Dr. Martin Seif, a distinguished clinical psychologist and anxiety treatment specialist.

We talk about the intricate world of intrusive thoughts, drawing a clear line between fleeting and persistent intrusive thoughts. Dr. Seif sheds light on the paradox of thought suppression, explaining why efforts to evade certain thoughts only make them more persistent.

Ever found yourself seeking reassurance over and over? We delve into how this seemingly harmless habit can spiral into an addictive pattern, further fueling anxiety.
We'll share insights from Dr. Seif on how this cycle influences relationships and discuss the notion of the 'sticky mind' in the context of rumination.

Also, get ready to reframe your understanding of anxiety management with the concept of 'therapeutic surrender,' a potentially liberating approach to dealing with anxiety. We'll explore strategies to change attitudes and perspectives, encouraging a lean-in approach to anxiety rather than avoidance. Tune in for a wealth of information perfect for anyone navigating the turbulence of intrusive thoughts and anxiety.

If you need further support, check out the Anxiety and Depression Association of America.

Books by Dr. Martin Seif: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying orders.
Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts Needing to Know for Sure

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Have you ever wondered how insidious jealousy can creep into our lives and relationships, causing havoc and distress? This episode opens the door to a heartfelt discussion with Heather and Roxanne, two insightful individuals who have experienced the bitter taste of jealousy and learned to navigate its complex landscapes. They bravely share their personal stories, tracing their path back to early experiences which laid the foundation for struggles with trust in later life. Through their candid conversations, we begin to peel back the layers of narratives we tell ourselves, ultimately leading us to question their validity.

As we journey with Heather and Roxanne through their experiences, we dive into the often challenging process of building trust in relationships and overcoming jealousy. Heather offers her personal struggle with infidelity and trust issues, while Roxanne extends an exercise that played a crucial role in shifting her perspective. But, this conversation does not just dwell on the individual; instead, it illuminates the power of community and shared experiences in fostering growth and support. So, let's join Heather and Roxanne in this insightful conversation about overcoming jealousy, building trust, and the healing potential of supportive relationships.

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Join me on a heartfelt journey as we celebrate not only my birthday but a significant podcasting milestone — our 50th episode!

It's a poignant moment that calls for reflection, and I promise you're in for a raw, honest, and deeply personal dive into my life. From reuniting with my absent father to facing my fears and anxieties head-on, there are many life lessons that I have learned and am excited to share with you.

This episode is also a tribute to the most resilient woman in my world: my remarkable mother. Her unwavering strength and courage in the face of adversity are reminders of our capacity to endure hardships and still emerge strong.

We not only celebrate our 50-episodes-long journey but also the power of resilience. So, brace yourselves for an episode of inspiration, vulnerability, and heartwarming reflections.

Don't miss the UNLEASHING BOLD CONFIDENCE in-person event.

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Needing constant reassurance is something very common in those who suffer from relationship jealousy issues and when we don't get it, we start searching for it elsewhere an 9 times out of 10, it's the wrong place.

In today's episode, I share 3 wrong places you may looking for love and understanding. Awareness is key to turning down the volume on this jealousy thing so I'm bringing awareness to these three areas you may go seeking.

Join the Self Improvement Society (SIS) Membership today!

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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International #1 best-selling author of "Strength of the Oak, Strength of the Willow", Andrew Anderson shares his approach in navigating life's ups and downs.

Andrew shares inspiring insights on shifting perspectives from 'why is this happening to me?' to 'why is this happening forme?' and how to discover the hidden greatness in every situation.

We dive deeply into the art of transformation, touching on deceit's role and outdated beliefs in personal growth.

Andrew provides practical steps on:

• breaking free from restrictive thought patterns
• setting up protective boundaries
• how to have strength and grace in life's storms
• the 7 steps to forgiveness

This episode is a treasure for anyone on a quest to understand their life's mission and purpose. It's abundant with enlightening wisdom on nurturing self-worth and enhancing relationships.

This episode is a wealth of wisdom for anyone seeking personal transformation, the courage to face life's challenges, and the bravery to step into a brighter future.

Connect with Andrew

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Ever found yourself stuck at crossroads, unable to decide which path to take? The reality is, every day we are faced with decisions - some small, some life-altering.

But here's the catch, the pain of indecision often surpasses the pain of making the 'wrong' decision. You may be held hostage by your own fear and doubt. Turns out, the 'wrong' decision made with the information and emotions at the time, can be the 'right' decision after all.

In this episode, you'll discover how to tackle the daunting task of decision-making with newfound confidence. Shanenn shares an exercise you can do to quickly get your out of indecision.

Plus, we'll delve into how to take command of decisions in your relationships, keeping the fear of abandonment at bay. So, let's start making some decisions quickly, confidently, and fearlessly!

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Self-discovery can happen with just small minor shifts and this week, Nichole Lee, an identity + life transition coach AND holistic practitioner shares her insights into the delicate process of self-exploration, emphasizing the importance of a safe, non-judgmental space.

Together, we navigate the potential triggers of solo exploration and affirm the power of partnership during these transformative moments.

Nichole and I challenge you to carve out dedicated time for self-discovery, advocating for tweaks in your daily routines to encourage personal growth.

Listen as we:

• unveil the role of bringing body intelligence to the forefront.
• explore the profound connection between our minds, bodies, and emotional healing. recognize how our habitual tendencies and implanted memories can keep us stuck
• discover how simple tools like visualization and meditation can release these blocks, leading to harmony.

Prepare to be inspired, transformed, and fully engaged in this discussion.

Connect with Nichole Lee

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Ever wondered why you don't trust your partner as much as yourself? Curious about the double standards you set in your relationship, often without realizing it?

Tune in for an eye-opening discussion about trust dynamics in relationships. My deep dive is set to reshape your understanding of trust, insecurity, and jealousy.

Why we give ourselves more liberty than we do our partners?

I discuss the projection of our needs onto our partners and how this triggers an insatiable need for reassurance. Are you setting different expectations for yourself and your partner due to your insecurities?

I explore this concept in depth, providing insights that might just save your relationship.

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Are you ready to reignite the tingly energy of your inner masculine lover?

That's precisely what this episode is all about, with our guest, Amy Lee Westervelt. Together, we address the habit of seeking external validation instead of harnessing internal energy and how to navigate the feelings of jealousy and insecurity that can arise in relationships.

We also venture into the empowering realm of changing our inner voice. Get ready to tap into your inner masculine and create a protective and devoted voice within.

In this episode, we also discuss:

• the concept of self-sourcing, teaching you how to appreciate and receive compliments from your partner without relying on them for validation.
• how our expectations from our partners can set us up for failure and strategize ways to manage these situations better.
• handling situations when your partner doesn't meet your expectations
• the sometimes tumultuous seas of gender roles and communication

Our conversation will leave you brimming with tips on how to embark on this transformative journey to connect with your higher self. So, buckle up for an enlightening ride on inner growth and self-empowerment.

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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Click here to record your message. Tell me your favorite episode and why you love it and I just might put it on the show. Say your name or don't, either is fine just know, you may hear your voice on the podcast!

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Today, we're thrilled to bring you Tony Dufresne, PhD, a voice of wisdom in the arena of women's empowerment and confidence. With his unique perspective as a father and a male coach in the world of women, Tony guides us through the systemic differences between the genders and sheds light on the expectations society places on them. His understanding of the female experience, through empathy and intuition, is truly insightful.

In this discussion, Tony introduces three powerful tools: meditation, journaling, and physical pattern interrupt. As we explore the difference between small C and big C confidence, you'll learn to accept yourself, flaws and all, and start reframing your thought process.

He believes in building a supportive network that nurtures growth and confidence and to shed off guilt, embrace your intuition, and step into your power. Listen in, as you won't want to miss Tony’s wisdom and insights on women's empowerment.

If you're ready to relax your mind, achieve change and be a healthier more present you, book your FREE 30-Minute Discovery Call today. Start living a life of confidence!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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Click here to record your message. Tell me your favorite episode and why you love it and I just might put it on the show. Say your name or don't, either is fine just know, you may hear your voice on the podcast!

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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If you're someone who's insecure, you may be self-centered in a way you haven't thought of before. You may think everything is about you. All the problems, anything that goes wrong, if someone is upset.

In this episode, I challenge you to start being self-centered in a different way. in a way that better serves you and even your relationship.

This month's episodes have been about being in the present and this one is no exception as today is a great day to turn your focus away from your partner, away from all the anxiety and worrying and start doing something for you.

What's that thing you've always wanted to do but never had the courage to try or didnt know where to begin? What's that thing you know you can do but because of your jealousy, you don't feel like you've been able to focus on it?

Well... its time to get self-centered and start today! If you're sitting on a dream, this is your wake-up call. Time to bring your vision to life!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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Click here to record your message. Tell me your favorite episode and why you love it and I just might put it on the show. Say your name or don't, either is fine just know, you may hear your voice on the podcast!

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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As someone who has personally experienced the crippling effects of anxiety and insecurities, I'm sharing the importance of being present and in the N.O.W. and how to avoid being caught up with past wondering or worrying about the future.

It's crucial to remember that you have the power to break free from fear-driven patterns. I am excited to discuss my journey of self-awareness that led me to stop letting the past hijack my present and the changes I initiated that altered my future.

In this episode I discuss:

• the magic of being present and grounded in the moment
• introduce three acronyms to help one of which is: NOW: Notice, Observe, and Words of Gratitude
• explore the importance of adding mindfulness and being present into your self-regulation recipe.

You're not alone on this journey to overcoming insecurities and anxiety and I hope these quick techniques will benefit you too.

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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Click here to record your message. Tell me your favorite episode and why you love it and I just might put it on the show. Say your name or don't, either is fine just know, you may hear your voice on the podcast!

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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It's time to stop judging without mercy and stop trying to control unpredictable events.

Reflecting on the "Adult Children of Alcoholics" (ACA) list was a turning point, a moment that brought me a lot of clarity and started me on my self-development journey.

Drawing from my personal experiences, I'm sharing one of the 14 common behavior characteristics from the ACA Laundry List and the recent epiphany I had that is tied to it for anyone who grew up in a similar dysfunctional environment as I did.

This episode discusses our attempts to predict and control events, especially in relation to our partners, which often leads to mistrust. As we delve into this aspect, we shed light on the pitfalls of control and the power of trust, exploring how we can transform our judgments into unconditional love and trust, even in unpredictable situations.

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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Top Self Website

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Click here to record your message. Tell me your favorite episode and why you love it and I just might put it on the show. Say your name or don't, either is fine just know, you may hear your voice on the podcast!

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Do you know you might even be controlling when you argue with your partner? I know it may seem hard to believe because your first thought is probably... I hate arguing with my partner.

I hate to say it, but as much as you hate it, you may be the huffing and puffing and blowing the house up just as things are going really well.

If you grew up in a dysfunctional environment like I did, where every day there was drama, fighting or wondering when the next big thing is going to happen, you might be pulling this into your adult relationship.

On this week's episode, I share 3 reasons you might be doing this.

Schedule your FREE, 30-minuteDiscovery Call to see how I can help.

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Top Self Website

Shanenn on Instagram

Click here to record your message. Tell me your favorite episode and why you love it and I just might put it on the show. Say your name or don't, either is fine just know, you may hear your voice on the podcast!

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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You know when you feel like you can't control your actions? Your in a massive jealous rant and it seems like some one or some thing has taken over your body. You're saying things and doing things on autopilot as if you cant help what's happening.

Shanenn sits down with Dr. Catherine Pittman, author of Rewire Your Anxious Brain, Taming Your Amygdala, and Rewire Your OCD Brain to uncover why this happening and you might be right, you don't have control over it.

But, the great news is, she gives you some insight into what's going on, gives a great explanation of why you need to be aware of it, AND.... answers the burning question of what you can do about it in the future.

Highlights from this episode:

• The amygdala is a part of your brain responsible for putting into action the fight, flight or freeze response.
• The amygdala gets activated as it associates the present with things that look "similar" to negative things in your past as a way to protect you
• The amygdala's partner in crime, the cortex is the part of your brain that sees things a little more clearly and is better suited to sort out the raw information coming from the amygdala
• Unfortunately, both the amgydala and the cortex and give us wrong information at times.
• Your thoughts do matter and the amygdala is watching "cortex tv" as Dr. Pittman likes to call it so if you think it, you feel it.

Grab Dr. Pittmans Fight, Freeze or Flee Survey here.

Purchase any of Dr. Pittman's books below:
*Product Disclaimer - This page contains affiliate links, meaning I get paid a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no cost to you.

Rewire Your Anxious Brain Taming Your AmygdalaRewire Your OCD Brain

If you're ready to relax your mind, achieve change and be a healthier more present you, book your FREE 30-Minute Discovery Call today. Start living a life of confidence!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

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Top Self Website

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Sometimes to get out of a rut, you have to shake things up a bit and changing your perspective on the way you think and communicate about your jealousy might be just what you need.

In this episode, Shanenn discusses 3 different areas you could shake things up as it pertains to jealousy.

• Reframe your approach in both your communication to your partner and your thoughts about how big it is and acknowledge that jealousy may always be present in you to some degree, so you will start by just focusing on instances when it heavily impacts your relationship.
• Many people are embarrassed to even talk about their jealousy. She encourages you to consider how you are talking about your jealousy to your friends and be intentional about what you want from your friend out of the conversation about your jealousy. And if you really want to step outside the box and take the first step to open up, engage with others in the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group.
• Keep in mind jealousy is not all of you. It is just a small part of you and there is so many other positive things you bring to the relationship. Shanenn encourages you to write those things down as a reminder to yourself that jealousy is not all of you. It’s not who you are, it’s just something you need to manage.

Ultimately, this episode aims to empower individuals to reframe their perspective on jealousy, understand their own worth beyond this emotion, and seek support and understanding from like-minded individuals in their journey toward overcoming jealousy.

If you're ready to relax your mind, achieve change and be a healthier more present you, book your FREE 30-Minute Discovery Call today. Start living a life of confidence!

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Top Self Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Dr. Joli Hamilton, a relationship coach and research psychologist, known for her expertise in the field of jealousy joins the show today.

Her research explores the archetypal nature of emotions and their purpose, with a focus on jealousy in both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships.

If you still feel embarrassed about your jealousy or continuously ask yourself "Is this normal or is this my jealousy?" then today's episode will mot likely hit the spot.

Dr. Hamilton and Shanenn discuss:

• reframing your perspective on jealousy and recognizing its wisdom, to develop a healthier relationship with this emotion.
• discuss Dr. Hamilton's qualitative research that supports many participants reported feelings of shame and embarrassment related to their experiences of jealousy.
• the concept of the psychological shadow, where aspects we reject or suppress become a source of embarrassment.
• the importance of connecting with others who also experience jealousy, as it helps individuals feel understood and validated.

Dr. Hamilton also shared something that blew my mind that I hadn't previously considered that non-monogamous individuals are more likely to anticipate and normalize jealousy as a potential outcome of multiple partners, fostering open conversations about it.

She encourages individuals in monogamous relationships to reevaluate their perspectives on jealousy and recognize its presence as an opportunity for growth and self-reflection.

Get Dr. Hamilton's Free 5-Step Resource.

For one-on-one coaching with me, schedule your FREE, 30-minute Clarity Call to see how I can help.

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Today's episode is all about change and I have an exciting announcement of changes coming to the podcast for you.

In this episode, I talk about the topic of change and its role in personal growth and transformation. Since your brain is wired for comfort, change can be both fearful and uncomfortable, as it often requires letting go of familiarity.

We have a strong desire for certainty which can keep us stuck and afraid to embrace change.

Stick through this episode to hear the exciting changes coming to the podcast as well as the 4 steps to create transformational change in your life

Episode highlights:

• Self-belief and confidence in one's abilities can help navigate through change and adapt as needed.
• Change is fundamental for personal growth and breaking free from stagnant perspectives.
• Embracing change opens doors to new experiences and broadens one's perspective.
• Individuals themselves holds the power to make incredible things happen and create positive change.

Email your rating to sbryant@yourtopself.com on a scale of 1-10 on the following:

• Career
• Romantic Relationship
• Self-Worth

and let me know what you think would make it a 10. I'd love to hear from you!

For one-on-one coaching with me, schedule your FREE, 30-minute Clarity Call to see how I can help.

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or Jealousy Junkie is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Guest Reneau Peurifoy shares a fascinating look at emotions, exploring their nature and impact on our lives which he has been researching for over the past 50 years which lead to his most recent book "Why You Feel They Way You Do" which I know we ALL want the answer to.

In this episode he:

• explores what emotions are and the exciting new findings emerging from affective neurobiology that will blow your mind!
• explains that memory and behavior function more like a muscle that needs exercise rather than a program that can be deleted.
• highlights two categories of affects: sensory affects, such as heat and cold, and homeostatic affects, which drive actions to maintain balance in your life.
• reveals that there are 7 basic affects or emotions shared by all animals, including humans.
  • Pssst... one is called Seeking and is particularly important o understand as a Jealousy Junkie.
• shares that boundary-setting and learning appropriate limits can vary due to individual experiences and upbringing.
• discuss the danger circuit, which triggers the feeling of threat, leading to anger and fear responses.

By exploring emotions and understanding their origins, individuals can gain insights into their own emotional responses and work towards managing them effectively

The importance of practice, self-reflection, and experiencing positive outcomes in changing negative patterns and developing healthier behaviors and Peurifoy doesn't disappoint and provides listeners with a deeper understanding of emotions, their role in human behavior, and practical insights into fostering happiness.

For one-on-one coaching with me, schedule your FREE, 30-minute Clarity Call to see how I can help.

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or Jealousy Junkie is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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You are so consumed with trying to figure out if your partner is telling you the truth, you are ignoring the lies you're saying about your partner and to yourself.

Self-awareness is the key to growth so if you want transformation, if you want to make changes to your life, you have to become more aware of your habits.

Unfortunately, your habits possibly 5 lies I see jealousy junkie tell themselves all the time.

In this episode I will:

• Discusses the importance of being mindful of the lies we tell ourselves
• Emphasize the need for honest self-reflection and accurate information
• Explain how blanket statements hinder decision-making and confuse the mind
• talk about getting honest about the effort you're putting in to change

It's time to stop worrying if your partner is lying, take a hard look at the lies you're telling and start prioritizing the truth

For one-on-one coaching with me, schedule your FREE, 30-minute Clarity Call to see how I can help.

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or Jealousy Junkie is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Are you embarrassed and ashamed of where you came from? Where you grew up? How you grew up?

I certainly was and for most of my life I lead with that shame. it made me think everyone was better than me. I made me feel that I couldn't ever be more than I was.

You may feel that way too and some of it may feel like its coming true. Maybe you're having a hard time getting a better paying job or you think your dream home is just that... will always be a dream or you just feel bad about the WAY YOU FEEL.

Today's episode is about letting go of that shame and embarrassment. How you were raised means nothing about how worthy you are.

For one-on-one coaching with me, schedule your FREE, 30-minute Clarity Call to see how I can help.

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or Jealousy Junkie is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Have you joined the Dump the Junk Program yet? What are you waiting for? The doors are closing VERY soon.

Today's episode is so exciting for me because not only did I get to interview two women who are listeners of this podcast, but they were beta testers for me for the Dump the Junk Program.

Most importantly though, after spending 6 weeks with them going through the program, they have a very special place in my heart.

Hear the struggles they've gone through in their relationship, what their experience was like in the program, and how things are going for them now.

For one-on-one coaching with me, schedule your FREE, 30-minute Clarity Call to see how I can help.

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or Jealousy Junkie is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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When it comes to jealousy and our insecurities, oftentimes, the first thought your brain serves up to you in wrong. It's a default thought. One your brain has been serving up to you for years.

So long in fact, you consider it to be law, to be 100% factual when in reality, it may not be. Our initial thoughts tend to be smaller, weaker thoughts that could use a little help from time to time.

An important skilled that can be learned through consistent practice is questioning your initial thought and brining in a stronger, more powerful thought. One that will help you move forward in a positive direction. One that has you stretching and thinking past your initial first-degree thought or default thought.

Make sure to stay until the end of the episode as I have a new program announcement called Dump the Junk that I know you will want to be a part of.

Click the link here to enroll in the Dump the Junk program.

For one-on-one coaching with me, schedule your FREE, 30-minute Clarity Call to see how I can help.

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or Jealousy Junkie is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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He's been on the Larry King Now show, Dr. Drew, Fox and Friends and now the Jealousy Junkie podcast!

This episode's guest is transformational speaker and best selling author, Kute Blackson and he's here to help you understand and move closer to the magic of surrender.

As jealousy junkies, we have a strong feeling to control. Control our environment, and our partner's environment in an attempt to protect ourselves.

As you'll hear from Kute, when we control, we actually give up our power. We feel more insecure, more afraid, more in a scarcity mindset.

I think this beautiful line from his book sums it up:
"Surrender is the invitation to take all limits off of life so magic can happen. More than you can imagine, more than you could ever plan, more than you could ever fathom".

That is what I want for you. More than you could ever plan and more than you could ever fathom.

For one-on-one coaching with me, schedule your FREE, 30-minute Clarity Call to see how I can help.

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or Jealousy Junkie is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Is the attractive person sitting next to your partner at the dinner table a tiger? No, of course not. But yet, you respond with fight or flight mode as if it's life or death.

You hate being uncomfortable and probably have never learned or practiced how to sit with uncomfortable.

When you feel jealous, you want that feeling to go away as quickly as possible, and by any means possible, often leaving your partner and anyone around with the uncomfortableness of your actions as you try to relieve yourself of those jealous feelings.

This episode give you a couple things to incorporate and practice to learn to create more space between when you feel jealous and when you act jealous. Open that space to create some time to calm down so you can respond properly to how you are feeling and why.

For one-on-one coaching with me, schedule your FREE, 30-minute Clarity Call to see how I can help

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or Jealousy Junkie is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Our obsessions seem so magnified, so big and out of control and we let that become "who" and "what" we think we are.

Because we're so focused on our jealousy, we begin to believe it's the only thing we bring to a relationship; insecurity and jealousy.

Have you ever considered accepting that jealousy and knowing that it's just a part of you. It's not all of you.

I even guide you to pick the jealous part of you.

I along with many others will be a guest speaker at the Healing Family Trauma FREE virtual event. Grab your seat here

For one-on-one coaching with me, schedule your FREE, 30-minute Clarity Call to see how I can help

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or Jealousy Junkie is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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**Have you ever been more curious than you should be about your partner’s past lovers? Where one question about their past turned into five, which turned into ten, then felt that very uncomfortable pang of jealousy? This type of jealousy is called retroactive jealousy. One of the more insidious types of jealousy because it is referring to the past, which no one can undo.

Retroactive jealousy can not only ruin an otherwise healthy relationship, it can also be detrimental to your mental health going forward. So on today’s episode, we have invited retroactive jealousy expert Zachary Stockill to fill us in on everything we need to know about this type of jealousy.

Zachary Stockill is the author of Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy*,* The Overcoming Jealousy Workbook and The Breakup Recovery Workbook*. He is also a podcaster and educator creating programs around raising awareness and educating people about retroactive jealousy, and has founded* www.retroactivejealousy.com****. Needless to say, he is the ultimate expert in this field and he wants to share his knowledge with all of you.

In this episode you will learn about what retroactive jealousy is, how to identify if you are suffering from retroactive jealousy, actionable tips on how to remedy retroactive jealousy, and practical tools to help create a healthy dynamic in your relationship when feeling retroactive jealousy, and much more!

This episode is packed with juicy knowledge and advice, so you don’t want to miss this one!**

Topics discussed in this episode:

• What is retroactive jealousy?
• How Zachary discovered retroactive jealousy
• Why retroactive jealousy isn’t reserved for straight white men
• The shame around retroactive jealousy
• How retroactive jealousy can come off as normal
• The myth around jealousy
• When is walking away the right choice?
• Honoring your higher self vs. your ego
• Advice for those who are aroused by a partner’s sexual past
• The Madonna-Whore Complex in Freudian psychology
• What to expect from Zachary’s program Get Over Your Partner's Past Fast
• Actionable tips for anyone suffering from retroactive jealousy
• Tools on how to trust your partner’s desire for you
• How to learn about your partner’s past in a safe and healthy way

For one-on-one coaching with me, schedule your FREE, 30-minute Clarity Call to see how I can help

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or Jealousy Junkie is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Did you know you're being rude when you shrug off a compliment? After blowing off a compliment my husband gave me, he asked "Why can't you just absorb a compliment"?

That made me wonder... why can't I? What's behind that?

What I learned was much more than I expected and realized we're actually being rude when we don't respond appropriately to a compliment.

I also have a challenge for you and give you some science behind why it's hard to give compliments and why you should practice absorbing and believing the compliment you're being given.

For one-on-one coaching with me, schedule your FREE, 30-minute Clarity Call to see how I can help

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or Jealousy Junkie is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Recently, my husband and I traveled to Costa Rica for a conference. We stayed in a beautiful hotel overlooking the beach and had a ton of fun experiences BUT day 4 would send me into a tailspin I haven't been in for a very, very long time.

In today's episode, I'm sharing lessons learned and why my mini meltdown is important to you.

For one-on-one coaching with me, schedule your FREE, 30-minute Clarity Call to see how I can help

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or Jealousy Junkie is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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You learn so much in childhood. How to walk, how to talk, how to do multiplication and division.

Unfortuantely, for some though, you also learn to be fearful, to not trust. We learn not to get too happy because any minute, the other shoe will fall.

Today's guest, Reneau Peurifoy, author of 4 different books on anxiety, anger, and emotions, shares his knowledge from over 20 years as an MFT working with anxiety and other related disorders, shares why although not healthy, dysfunction can feel really comfortable to you.

In this episode, we discussed:

• Why you unconsciously seek unhealthy partners
• How jealous people have a lot of should/must rules that keeps reality foggy
• 4 questions to ask yourself to start to tame your jealous
• What the treatment of EMDR is all about and how it works to begin desensitizing childhood trauma
• Tips for how to move to a place of feeling comfortable without all the drama

Connect with Reneau at whyemotions

For one-on-one coaching with me, schedule your FREE, 30-minute Clarity Call to see how I can help

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or Jealousy Junkie is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Trauma leaves a chemical mark on a persons genes that is passed down to the next generation according to today's guest Dr. Galit Atlas. It's about family secrets and the secrets we keep from ourselves that also keep us from living to our full potential.

Dr. Atlas is a psychoanalyst exploring the unconscious of her patients and shares how the emotional inheritance and the legacy of trauma is passed down from generation to generation in her book titled Emotional Inheritance: A Therapist, Her Patients, and the Legacy of Trauma.

In this episode, we discuss how therapy is like detective work and it comes down to uncovering the gap between what people want to have and what they can toleration having.

She shares that the trauma healing process starts with the decision to search and to be curious.

• What do I not know about myself?

• What can I not emotionally handle?

• Why does the gap between what I want and what I can tolerate exist?

It is also important to treat defenses with respect and if you are not ready to do the healing work that is ok. It is also acceptable to feel upset that we have to do the work of the past traumatized (our parents or our grandparents) because they were perhaps not strong enough.

Dr. Atlas says if we are only aware of what we want to have (a relationship, a career, money etc.) but we're not fully aware of what it is that doesn't allow us to have what we want... that is more powerful than what we want".

The book, Emotional Inheritance is a must read but give yourself some recovery time and know it can be triggering.

For one-on-one coaching with me, schedule your FREE, 30-minute Clarity Call to see how I can help

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or Jealousy Junkie is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In today's quick dump episode, I share 5 statements I decided to stop making to my partner that changed the dynamic of our relationship.

Most of the time, you don't even realize how the words you choose can come across. Even when you feel like you're being really clear or you mean what you're saying in the moment, these 5 statements are usually a signal to disaster.

For one-on-one coaching with me, schedule your FREE, 30-minute Clarity Call to see how I can help

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or Jealousy Junkie is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Did you know that toxic stress decreases the size and impairs the function of different regions of the brain that are actually responsible for our learning, our executive functioning, our memory ?

Candace Alley, a five time internationally certified coach and the founder and CEO of Trauma Resource Network shares that:

• trauma is not a particular event, but rather how the brain processes that event
• every persons healing journey is as individual and unique as your fingerprints
• trauma doesn't mean that you're broken or that you've done anything wrong. rather, it's a very normal response to an abnormal situation
• those who score a 4 or higher on the ACES test stand a far greater chance of struggling with mental health issues and or some form of addiction in their lifetime
• consistent practice and dedication is key to healing

Available resources:
988 - for those dealing with mental health crisis (In the United States)
211 - provides local resources
Take the ACEs Test
Connect with Candace via her website, on Facebook, or Instagram

For one-on-one coaching with me, schedule your FREE, 30-minute Clarity Call to see how I can help

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

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DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or Jealousy Junkie is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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One of the reasons it took me so long to overcome my jealousy is because I kept getting stuck or there would be long periods of time I wasn't working to improve it.

I started to notice a pattern of these times and today I am sharing 3 things that could be slowing down your progress of becoming more confident and overcoming jealousy in your relationship.

Here are the 3

• a makeup
• a breakup
• a hiccup

but I dive deep into each one and give you some examples I experienced so you know what to look out for.

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or Jealousy Junkie is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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Did you know when your brain is operating under duress, all of the "parts" are not coordinating which can ramp up your jealous mind.

Our brains have a negative bias because it wants to save us. It wants to keep us safe from danger. But overload causes the brain to get out of symphony.

Leader in the field of stress mastery, Dr. Cindi Ackrill shares what stress and comparison does to your brain and the intersection between how grounded you are and when you start to compare.

Cindi also shares:

• how your brain loves to create meaning out of things and how to check-in and question that meaning
• how a stressed brain will keep you in automatic thinking and in our same patterns which can keep you in the jealousy loo.
• what it means to be stress smart, stress strong and stress wise

Schedule a FREE 30-minute Clarity Call with Shanenn

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or Jealousy Junkie is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Jealousy Junkie podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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It all feels like its falling apart when you screw up and show your jealous side... AGAIN. 

But, there is an important mindset to have when you are trying to tame your jealousy and in today's episode, I'm sharing the importance of practicing, not mastering.

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

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Life strategist, relationship specialist, creative solution finder, and heart-centered problem solver, Sarah Ramsey lets a surprisingly simple philosophy guide her: indecision is the enemy of success.

Viewing clear decision-making as the ultimate form of self-care, Sarah brings life-changing clarity to formulating solutions for those pesky problems that often seem impenetrable on the surface. Her book, Problem Solved, provides readers with a system for breaking down complex issues into simple, approachable steps so that you can experience life with fewer barriers and greater prosperity.

Today, Sarah offers some insight into the tools and strategies you need to transform how you make decisions, what it might look like to apply these techniques to your issues with jealousy, and what it means to “waffle down,” plus so much more.

If you want to empower yourself to make your problems smaller so that you can not only create a legacy of successful outcomes but live a happier (and less jealous) life, this episode is for you!

Topics discussed in this episode:

• How Sarah’s book transforms your mindset, not your problems
• Applying these problem-solving techniques to jealousy
• Differentiating between practical problems and emotional ones
• Ways to empower yourself as a problem solver
• Tips for navigating ‘spaghetti thinking’
• How to define your problem-solving strategy
• Taking ownership of your problems, not others’
• Magic questions to help you get unstuck
• Using 7-level problem solving to find the root issue

Find episodes of Sarah’s podcast, get your copy of her new book, and register for her coaching program by visiting sarahkramsey.com.

You can also connect with Sarah on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram!

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

Connect with your host, Shanenn on Instagram

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In this quick dump episode, I'm sharing O.N.E. thing I did to break my negative mindset and take off the green lense I saw life through.

Our adult brain can be lazy and it wants to refer back to old patterns of information we learned in the past.  If those patterns are negative, they stand out even more and shapes the way we view life and approach situations we interpret as similar.

To shift these pattens, its all about being open because often its our mindset that keeps us stuck with repeating habits and thoughts.

O.N.E - Open to New.... Explanations, Examples, Experiments, Evidence etc.  Fill in the blank with the "E word" that fits the situation.  

For further support, join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

What's your attachment style? Take the FREE Quiz to find out

Jealousy Junkie Website

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Aviation is one of those professions that has always been associated with infidelity and cheating, but Jackie Ulmer believes that every situation is as unique as the people involved.

Jackie is a peak performance coach who has been married to a pilot for more than 30 years. She worked in aviation for eight years before becoming a pilot’s wife, meeting lots of regional airline crews and spending time as a crew scheduler and flight attendant along the way. So as you might imagine, Jackie doesn't buy into the stigma about pilots!

Instead, she highlights the value of mutual trust in your relationships, regardless of the profession your significant other has chosen. Just because you see something happening in the media, in movies, and in TV shows, it doesn’t mean it will happen in your relationship.

In fact, Jackie encourages us to let go of all of the false narratives we tell ourselves and she shares some valuable ‘habit hacks’ to help you reframe negative thinking. Tuning in, you’ll hear some actionable advice for redefining your limiting beliefs about yourself, setting boundaries rather than ultimatums, and invigorating your self-image, plus so much more.

If you're listening to this podcast, you’re probably struggling with self-confidence, feelings of unworthiness, or low self-esteem, but Jackie is here to tackle all of that noise and help you create a first-class life!

Topics discussed in this episode:

● The influence your self-image has on your anxiety

● Reframing limiting beliefs by creating new habits

● Using journaling as a tool to redefine ‘I am’ statements

● Who you become in the process of attaining your goals

● What the consistency chain teaches us about progress

● How social media contributes to paranoia about infidelity

● Why you should let go of the false narratives you’ve created

● Why communication and vulnerability are key

● The difference between boundaries and ultimatums

● Understanding why men are often called ‘simple creatures’!

Join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group.

Connect with your host, Shanenn Bryant, on Instagram

Visit Jackie’s website, Peak Performance Habits, listen to The Pilot Wife Podcast, or follow her on Instagram and Twitter!

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James Preece is UK's top dating coach and often compared to Will Smith in the movie Hitch.  In today's episode he shares some differences and similarities of men and women when it comes to dating and relationships.

Here are just a few tips and words of wisdom James shares in this episode:

• Women often unknowingly situate themselves in unapproachable situations.  At the gym with their headphones on or going out in packs with our friends.
• Approaching a new relationship through the lens of an old relationship and assuming we will be treated poorly this time as well.
• He also shares some interesting statistics on why it feel difficult to find Mr. Right and advises both men and women to stop looking for the red flags and look for the green ones.

If you're already in a relationship, no worries, he has some tips to share with you as well!

For more dating advice, check out his podcast, Love Machine on your favorite listening app.

Connect with Shanenn

Jealousy Junkie Website
Join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group

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Is your partner a narcissist? If you feel like they are, it may be true, so we decided to present 10 warning signs to watch out for so you can know for sure. 

In this episode you will learn: 1. Learning about narcissism in order to emancipate yourself from self-blame and self-doubt. 2. Understanding that narcissism exists along a spectrum, and that not everyone with narcissistic traits has a personality disorder. 3. Recognizing the role of the inner critic in fueling jealousy and insecurity, and learning how to stand up to it.

Here's a breakdown of what is covered:

[00:00:05] - Introduction to Wendy.

[00:00:47] - Introduction and training.

[00:01:21] - Jealousy and impostor syndrome.

[00:06:34] - Jealousy from a childhood.

[00:12:10] - When grief feels big.

[00:16:26] - Tips for dealing with narcissists.

[00:24:49] - Partners of narcissists.

[00:33:06] - Five tips to help break your jealous habits. 

Disarming the Narcissist Book by Wendy Behary 

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Website
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All our behaviors are based upon something we’ve seen or experienced whether an event or relationship.

Those imprints, usually created in childhood, make us believe that we are something. Whatever that may be for you. Loved, alone, unlovable, not worthy, capable…. Whatever it is for you. 

Most of us use our thinking mind but Dr Ann Marie Balkanski explains that’s only 10% of who we are. 

The bigger, smarter, wiser part of you lives within your feeling body or your subconscious and she walks us through how to tap into our subconscious mind through hypnotherapy and meditation. 

The really cool part is, you can do this yourself or use one of Dr. Balkanski’s meditations below.

Building Confidence Meditation

Reaching Your Goals Meditation

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In this episode, Shanenn walks through an exercise she did to stop her jealous actions.  She breaks these action habits into two categories

• Undercover Action Habits
• Direct Action Habits

Download the Action Habits Worksheet to follow along to identify and tame your jealous actions.

Connect with Shanenn:

Website

Instagram

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“We need to understand that being kind to ourselves has nothing to do with stuffing down our feelings or burying them, or smothering them with consumerism or addiction. It's really about looking inward. Seeing what feelings and what needs are there and trying to find realistic and compassionate solutions.” - Dr. Marcia Sirota

Being kind in our society is unfortunately very rare. Not just kindness to others, but kindness to ourselves as well.

There seems to be a common theme among society, which is that we experience a lot of negative self-talk which causes us to not be compassionate with ourselves, or others. This can become an issue, especially in intimate relationships, because a lot of the mistrust and jealousy comes from innate negative self-talk where we filter the world through that perception.

What would happen if you became aware of those filters, and decided to change your perspective to have ruthless compassion for yourself and others? What would your life and relationships look like?

Forgiving yourself for the past is the first step, and resetting to do better in each moment is the key. You will never be ‘perfect’. This is an impossible standard that we need to do away with. What we can do is improve in every moment with kindness as our anchor.

On today’s episode, we have invited Dr. Marcia Sirota who is a board certified psychiatrist and host of the ‘Ruthless Compassion’ podcast. Who better to help us uncover what it means to be ruthlessly compassionate and cultivate kindness within yourself and others!

Marcia is on a mission to create an army of kindness warriors, because the world is in desperate need of this. Also, having this compassion for yourself could be the turning point for your jealousy in relationships.

So for all the jealousy junkies out there, we have a challenge for you. Listen in to hear what it is and let us know if it helped you!

Topics discussed in this episode:

● What does it mean to be a kindness warrior

● Two ways we can have jealousy

● Importance of a reality check when differentiating jealousy

● When you need to use ruthless compassion

● Importance of slowing down and relaxing to conjure a reality check

● Difference between being self indulgent, lenient, and kind

● Importance of having reasonable expectations of yourself

● Perception through the filter of our past vs. the truth

● Importance of mindfulness as a tool to cut through our filters

● The ruthless piece of ruthless compassion

● The importance of mental flexibility

● Take every opportunity to be kind

● A challenge for all the jealousy junkies out there!

To learn how to be ruthlessly compassionate, head to Apple Podcasts to listen to Dr. Marcia Sirota’s podcast ‘Ruthless Compassion’!

Connect with host Shanenn: https://www.instagram.com/jealousyjunkiecoach

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Jealousy can be insidious. It can cause us to unravel and mistrust ourselves to the point of exhaustion. Also, what feels like a deep knowing can oftentimes come across as a possible fear because of how activated our nervous system is at the thought of a partner cheating.

Intuition is real and it can be trusted. As long as you know how to differentiate your intuition from anxiety and fear, it can be used as a powerful tool to help guide you in all areas of your life, especially when experiencing jealousy with your partner. If you are unsure whether you can differentiate the two, there are ways you can fine tune your intuition to use it to your advantage.

To learn how to differentiate the two, we have invited mentor and mindset coach who also has a PhD in psychology, Ashley Greer, to give us practical exercises to anchor our intuition. She also teaches us how to know when you are feeling fear and anxiety, and how that manifests in the body and mind. These are practical tools that can be used in all areas of life, but are so important for the highly emotional parts, such as intimate relationships.

Tune in to hear how you can start to fine tune your intuition and understand fear and anxiety from a different lens.

Topics discussed in this episode:

• Differentiation between intuition and fear
• The bodily sensations of fear vs. intuition
• When do we get intuitive thoughts?
• An exercise on how to anchor in to your intuition
• How the quality of the questions are important to understanding intuition
• Does the strength of feeling determine intuition accuracy?
• Importance of leaving expectations at the door
• The importance of self trust

To connect with Ashlee, head to her website here!

Schedule your free Clarity Call with Shanenn

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The truth is, we are hardwired as humans to not want to apologize. It is one of the most difficult things to do on a cultural and neurological level. Feeling as though we did something wrong and that we hurt someone is not the way we want to feel about ourselves, so in an instant our brain chooses to protect itself. However, what if apologizing was looked at through a different lens? What if we used apologies as a way to create better connections with a partner and make big changes that could help elevate relationships.There are so many misconceptions about apologizing, such as, apologizing is a sign of weakness, when it is actually the total opposite and we want to tackle this issue on today’s podcast.

Joining us today is Harvard trained clinical psychologist and author of ‘A Good Apology: Four Steps to Make Things Right’, Molly Howes. Molly walks us through why people don’t like to apologize and how we can overcome that by using her four steps to apologizing. She is here to educate us on the psychology behind apologizing, and how we can become better apologizers for us and our partners.

Apologizing isn’t about who is right and who is wrong, it’s about building better connections and working as a team. With some introspection and the right tools, apologizing in a way that will help your relationship is possible. Tune in to hear how!

Topics discussed in this episode:

• Why is it so hard to apologize?
• How to better understand your partner’s point of view
• Why is it easier to see other people’s mistakes rather than our own?
• What is forgiveness inflation?
• Why guilt is actually a good thing
• What is confirmation bias?
• Does being open help your partner open up?
• The need for responsibility and empathy in an apology
• Creating a system to ensure to not hurt the other
• Becoming a team with your partner for a mutually beneficial outcome
• Myths about apologies
• Questions to ask to help your partner open up

Purchase Molly's Book: https://www.grandcentralpublishing.com/titles/molly-howes-phd/a-good-apology/9781538701317/

Join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group: http://www.facebook.com/groups/jealousyjunkie/

Schedule your FREE Clarity Call with Shanenn: https://calendly.com/jealousyjunkie/free-clarity-call

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Have you ever considered what your jealousy trying to accomplish?  If you flip jealousy on it's head and think of it in the best possible way, could it be the solution?

Dr. Susan Heilter wrote about this in Psychology Today and it really changed the way I viewed my jealousy.  This lead to a super cool exercise that I am sharing with you on today's episode.   as well as what I discovered from it. 

Connect with Shanenn:
https://www.jealousyjunkie.com/
https://www.instagram.com/jealousyjunkiecoach

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The aftermath of a betrayal can be devastating.  So many questions, heartache and challenges that come when there is an affair in a relationship.  Could you, should you try to rebuild the relationship?

In today's episode, clinical psychologist, Ruth Ann Harpur who specializes in relationships, discusses the delicate work of rebuilding the relationship after a betrayal.

Dr. Harpur says often the offender will "drip" information to the offended causing additional trauma with each unveiling of a new detail.

She warns being too eager to ask for all the details of the affair but instead focusing on the details of what the affair meant to the offender and what it means to you.

This episode is not intended as therapy and could contain potentially distressing material. 

Free Compassion Focused Meditation from Dr. Harpur:  https://ruth-ann-harpur.mykajabi.com/pl/2147603458

Connect with Dr. Harpur on IG and TikTok @drruthannharpur 

Connect with Shanenn:  https://www.jealousyjunkie.com/
On Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/jealousyjunkiecoach
Join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group today!

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What can you do when you're on the verge of a jealous meltdown or anxiety meltdown?  Just need 1 thing you can do differently to allow you to respond versus react?

I'm chatting it up with stress management coach Jessica Harrington and she gives you several 1 things you can do in those times you're feeling a little out of control of your emotions.

Help Jessica support the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
https://supporting.afsp.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&participantID=2611403

Schedule a FREE clarity session with Shanenn https://calendly.com/jealousyjunkie/free-clarity-call

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My name is Shanenn Bryant, and I'm am a certified life coach and one of the few to focus on overcoming jealousy in relationships.

For many years, I was extremely insecure and jealous in my relationships and thought it was just the way I am and the way I would always be.  I also thought I was the only one who struggled with this.

Until one day I was handed a piece of paper from a therapist as she invited me to "not come back" (more about that story later).  The paper was what the ACA (Adult children of an alcoholics) calls the Laundry List.  And there it was, a whole list of my behavior characteristics all typed out in black and white.

Not that all women who are jealousy had parents or a parent who was an alcoholic, but seeing my behaviors on a list let me know that I must not be alone in my struggles AND if there's a list, there's a solution.

So, I committed to tackling this once and for all and I want the same thing for you too.  I hope my long troubled journey becomes your short, clear path to overcoming your insecurities and jealousy.

Schedule a FREE clarity session with me:  https://calendly.com/jealousyjunkie/free-clarity-call

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If you've ever researched..."why am I jealous" you may have been left with more questions than answers.  In this episode, Dr. Genesis Games walks you through what may be at the root of your jealousy and insecurities.

You'll get a deep dive into each of the attachment styles and why it's important to know yours. 

• Secure Attachment
• Anxious Attachment
• Avoidant Attachment
• Combo of Anxious-Avoidant (relationship fireworks x 10)

Wondering how to feel more secure in relationships?  Dr. Games also shares 5 ways to move to a secure attachment style to improve relationships.

What's your attachment style?  Take the Free Quiz https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/624e1a8010570600189fc627

Website:  https://www.jealousyjunkie.com/

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If you struggle with insecurities and jealousy in your relationship, this podcast is for you! 

Often these insecurities come from childhood or experience with betrayal and cheating partners in past relationships.  This can leave you with feelings of jealousy and insecurity in your current relationship, even when there's no evidence or grounds to be worried.

Former jealous girl, Shanenn Bryant, brings on experts in their field to tackle this green-eyed monster once and for all. 

Join us each week and start your new relationship journey from jealous and fearful to calm and confident.

Website:  https://www.jealousyjunkie.com/

Connect on Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/jealousyjunkiecoach