Just a Moment with Mila: Recent Episodes
Jamila Gomez
Last year, we set intentions. This year, we're taking action. Now that we have more clarity on who we are and what we've been put here to do, we're gonna take the necessary steps to seeing our purpose through. From baby steps to giant leaps, we're moving by faith on to the greatness that lies ahead. You ready? Let's talk about it! Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/justamomentwithmila/support
A few weeks ago, I gave you some strategies that you can take with you when you go on your healing journey. But this week, we are going to talk about some of the reasons why healing is hard to begin with. Let's be real: if healing was easy, everyone would do it. Let's discuss.
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If you're anything like me, I can be quite anxious when it comes to being in relationships. Some of that is not thinking I'm worthy of the love I seek. Some of it is fear of rejection. Some of it is fear being abandoned. If, again, you're anything like me, there's one thing we all have in common: we don't take care of ourselves as beings the way we should. That's all going to change. Let's discuss.
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It can be easy to take a situation you are dealing with, with a new/current partner and compare it to what you went through with your ex. Chances are, if the situation is less than positive and your new/current partner responds to the situation in a similar way as your ex, that can trigger you and make you want to run for the hills. Not so fast, though. Because that's not fair. Let's discuss.
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The journey towards healing can be frustrating and disheartening, as there may be setbacks, unexpected obstacles, and even relapses. However, it's essential to understand that healing is not a linear process; it's a journey with ups and downs. Let's discuss.
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Toxic work environments can have a significant impact on the mental and physical health of employees, as well as a company's productivity and turnover rates. It is important for companies to identify and address toxic environments through increased communication, accountability, and addressing the root causes of negative behavior. Let's discuss.
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Social media has a significant influence on relationships, both positive and negative. There are many benefits, but there are also many challenges to maintaining healthy relationships online. It is up to individuals to manage their relationship with social media and ensure that they use it in a way that enhances their relationships rather than causes harm. Let's discuss.
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Do you have a hard time with being expressive or vulnerable about your feelings and emotions? Do you shut people out when you feel yourself growing close to them? Do you avoid hard conversations or ones that may cause you to feel discomfort? If none of this is you, are you close to anyone who fits any of this? If you said 'yes' to any of these questions, you might be emotionally unavailable. Let's discuss.
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We've all lied or withheld information from those we love. In those moments, we even lie to ourselves. If you've ever told someone you lied to them because you didn't want to hurt them or you didn't want them to worry, that in itself is a lie. There's always something deeper. Let's discuss.
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Titles in relationship are important for various reasons, but they also cause a lot of anxiety in people for various reason as well. Clarity in where you stand is of the utmost importance, but titles require a whole different level of responsibility that having no title would. Let's discuss.
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Nothing in this life comes easy. This is especially true for any sort of relationship. It takes effort to get it and even more effort to maintain it. It's work. But just because it's not easy doesn't mean that it's dysfunctional or unhealthy. Let's discuss.
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We all want a relationship in which we feel safe and secure. But what should that look like? Let's discuss.
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Women like myself have a hard time when people don't accept the help we offer, especially when it comes to people close to us or who we truly care deeply about. But when it comes to relationships, falling back and letting the man handle his business is the best thing we can do. And when the dust settles, we understand why. Let's discuss.
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When you finally grasp a sliver of happiness, you don't have to tell everyone. I know some of people love to shout about their happiness from the rooftops. There's nothing really wrong with that. But you do deserve to keep a piece of your happiness to yourself. Let's discuss.
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The saying is true: just because a person desires you, that doesn't mean that they value you. But you can (and should) have both. Let's discuss.
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We've discussed self-sabotage on this show before, but not in this context. We haven't unpacked what it looks like when we do everything in our power to see our relationships fail before they even have a chance to turn into anything. And we haven't talked about why it happens or how to stop it. So...let's discuss.
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Ever consider that one of the reasons we may have such a hard time finding ourselves in the types of the relationships that we truly want is because our standards are too high? This is gonna sound contradictory, but even though you should never lower your standards to be with your someone, you may want to ease up just a tad to be with your someone. Don't hurt me. Let's discuss.
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People use the terms 'chemistry' and 'compatibility' interchangeably, but they actually mean two different things. You can have one without the other, but the one we should hold most dear, we tend not to. Let's discuss.
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Whatever God shows you about your life and your purpose is for you. Nobody else really needs to know. Let's discuss.
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There are lessons rock bottom can teach you that the mountaintop knows nothing about. Let's discuss.
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Venting is a tricky thing. We have to be ever mindful of what we vent about, who we vent to, and why we vent. Sometimes we need to change our whole approach to venting altogether. Let's discuss.
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Doing at least one thing each day to move you closer to the life you want can make such a huge difference. It can feel like it's taking forever, and that can sometimes make you want to quit. This is especially true when it's hard to see any part of what you're building come to life. But don't stop laying the bricks, no matter how long you think it's taking. You never know how close you are. Let's discuss.
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In this Season 3 opener, I just wanted to encourage you all really quickly to leave all the bad things that happened last year in last year. 2022 was rough for all of us and we all made it through. Don't bring in the baggage. Just bring the lessons. Let's discuss.
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As I close out season 2 of JAMWM, today's message is simple: be your own kind of happy. Let's discuss.
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Whether it's a job, a relationship, a neighborhood, or a city/state, so many of us stay in situations and circumstances that don't serve us. We feel like we need to leave, but there's still something that holds us back. Join me as I discuss what holds us back and the signs to look for to know when it's time to leave.
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For some of us, making and keeping friends has never been easy for us. And it's gotten even more difficult as we've gotten older for various reasons. Join me as I break down some reasons why it's hard to make friends and things to do/keep in mind as we go on the journey of developing new friendships.
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You can be someone's biggest cheerleader, but if they aren't willing to go out there and give it their all, it doesn't matter. Let's discuss.
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A lot of us won't say what it is that is bothering us or what we need because we're afraid of what it might lead to. We don't know of the other person will get angry or upset, so to avoid that from happening, we just don't say anything at all. That's not healthy. You have to learn how to address issues head-on without fear of the outcome. Let's discuss.
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So many times, we get so frustrated with how long it's taking that we stop moving forward. When we stop moving, we don't realize that we could potentially be punking ourselves out of the promise because we're frustrated with the process. Don't punk out! Let's talk about it.
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I have heard sayings like "everyone is not your assignment" and "you can't fix everything". Both of these sayings used to annoy me. But now I understand what these really mean. Let's discuss!
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If you are in a season of transition or growth and it hurts, this is for you. This is for us. I know it's hard. I know it's uncomfortable. But you have to see it through. Let's talk about it.
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We spend so much time discussing red flags to look out for when it comes to relationships that we often skip the green flags -- the good stuff that we should pay attention to. Join me as I discuss 12 green flags you could look for if you're either in a relationship or wishing to be in one.
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So many of us abandon ourselves when it comes to asking for what we need. We do this in just about every "ship" we're in. We even do it to ourselves. But why? And how can we fix it? Let's discuss.
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Emotions make you human and we all have them. We all have the right to feel them. But sometimes those emotions can take over when it comes to dating someone new. Take a listen as I do my best to give you some tips on how to manage your anxiety when in the newness of your dating experience.
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Welcome to my OA meeting: Overthinkers Anonymous. If you are an overthinker like me, I hope you feel seen, heard, and understood with this episode. This one goes out to you.
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Dating is hard for everyone. Full stop. But when faced with a physical, mental, or emotional challenge that you can't do much about, it can become even more difficult. Let's talk about it.
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Whether you've been with someone for a few months or a few years, heartbreak is painful. But all doesn't have to be lost. Listen as I talk about the things you can consider when dealing with a breakup/heartbreak and how these things can help you in the future regarding relationships.
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You ever have those people in your life who never let you feel anything but happy or positive? They're always telling you to smile or stay strong or to not let things get you down. Perhaps you do it to yourself. I have news for you: you're not a robot. Feel how you need to feel. Let's talk.
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We all have those moments when we feel so deep in despair that it can be hard to find reasons to smile and laugh. But I've learned, not only in my own experiences but in getting to know my favorite person, that even in the darkest of days and in the hardest of times, there's always a reason to laugh. Let's discuss.
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A lot of us want certain things to happen in/for our lives and begin to feel like it's never gonna happen because it's taking so long. We begin to lose hope and our faith is tested. Let's talk about why that happens and what to do about it.
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It's so easy for us to allow the negative things from our past and the bad experiences in our lives to set us back and keep us from moving forward. But you have the power to use what you've been through for the good. Let's discuss.
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It's no secret that it has become increasingly difficult for single Black women to date and find love. But why is it so hard for us? After some asking around, as well as tapping into my own experience, here's what I've found. Take a listen.
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A listener asked about my journey to coaching. By no means do I have all the answers and in no way do I have it all together. I am only speaking for myself from my own personal experiences thus far in the journey. I hope this helps.
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A friend and listener asked me what it's been like for me when pivoting careers, as this is something she is currently experiencing. Here's my story.
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If you're anything like me, you worry all the time. But again, if you're anything like me, you worry about the future -- the things that you cannot control. You worry about things that may or may not even happen. The thing is, when we're in a constant state of worry, it robs us of the right now. And it can be a hard habit to break. Let's discuss.
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It can be hard to continue to do the things you really want to do or the things that have been placed in your heart to do when you don't feel like you have the support behind you. But as I was assured recently, I want to assure you that someone IS watching. And that one matters. Just because you haven't reached the masses doesn't mean you should discount the one. Let's talk about it.
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When faced with difficult situations, you have two choices: you can react or you can respond. One involves emotions and impulse, while the other requires patience and logic. Let's talk about it.
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Life is full of surprises. In an average day, a seemingly endless number of unexpected events can occur that might create stress, worry, and frustration. But instead of letting these negative emotions take over, what if you were to make a conscious decision to have a great day?
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We barely had to time to process the mass murder took place at the grocery store in Buffalo, New York before another mass murder was committed not even two week later in Uvalde, Texas. In the years since Sandy Hook, what have we learned? What has changed? What have we done differently? I tried to put how I feel into words, so bare with me as I try to make sense of the senseless.
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Recently I experienced some serious racial gaslighting. Join me as I tell a condensed version of the story, as well as go into more detail about what gaslighting is, the signs, and what to do when you feel like you're being gaslit.
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Everyone who knows me knows I fall a lot -- like, a lot! But it wasn't until my most recent fall that I realized that falling is full of lessons. Join me as I talk about what falling has taught and is continuing to teach me.
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(Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist and these tips are not meant to take the place of any therapy or counseling one may need. These are simply things that have helped me that I thought I would share.)
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and I will take this month to highlight some things pertaining to mental health that I believe we all need to address.
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Where do the feelings/thoughts of feeling unloved, unwanted, abandoned and forgotten come from? When did it start? How do you fight them? Can you overcome? Let's discuss.
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Grief can hit even the most stable of people and sometimes we don't quite know how to deal with it. But since we all do deal with it, we might as well talk about some ways that may make it easier. Let's discuss.
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We're all here to be a blessing to others -- to serve. But we give so freely and so often to the point where we leave nothing for ourselves when we need it. Let's talk about it.
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Do you live with the belief that you don't really have what it takes? Do you think that the talents, gifts, and achievements you've gained are due to dumb luck rather than earned? Are you afraid that people are going to think you're a fraud if you fail? Come join me as I do my best to talk about imposter syndrome.
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We mean well when we ask those around us who seem overwhelmed and stressed how we can help them. And even though that question is well-meaning, there is a different way to ask that is more intentional and thoughtful. Listen in to learn more!
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So many people walk around in unforgiveness because they have the wrong perception of what it is. We talked about what it is in the first season, and we may have even touched on what it's not. But I wanted to touch on it again today because someone out there needs to hear it.
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So many people are walking around struggling because they won't ask for help. The reasons why vary, and there's no judgment. But you also should feel no shame. Let's discuss.
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We all have something about us that makes us uniquely us. Whatever that thing is for you, hang on to it. Hold it tight and never let it go. Let's discuss.
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This pandemic hasn't been easy. And a lot of people have made serious moves and accomplished big things. But if all you've done is survive, you've done enough. Let's talk about it.
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You can learn a lot from people who don't believe in the same thing(s) you do. Differences make the world go 'round and we have to accept the fact that we aren't all the same. Let's talk about it.
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Continuing on with the conversation surrounding mental health in the Black community, today's discussion is on why we don't talk about mental health to begin with and how to cope with it when we're faced with it.
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By Request! This is a special episode of JAMWM dedicated to Valentine's Day. This is for both the lovers and those of us who are waiting for our turn.
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In lieu of the recent suicides of Cheslie Kryst and Ian Alexander, Jr., it's more important now than ever to start (or continue) talking about mental health in the Black community. Let's do our best to have that conversation now. Let's talk about it.
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Who's to say you can't be someone else's umbrella just because it's storming in your life? You never know how helping someone else during your own trial can bless you as well! Let's talk about it.
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You miss 100% of the shots you don't shoot. What's the worst that can happen when you go for what you want? Someone telling you 'no'? So what? That's not the end of your journey. Let's discuss.
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You can't control what other people say, do, or think when it comes to you. Everyone has opinions, whether they are good, bad or indifferent. Since you can't control their actions, the only thing you can do is control yours. Let's talk about it. Plus: a special "thank you" and a call to action.
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There's a quote that says "speak what you seek until you see what you've said". No matter who says what about your dreams, wants, and desires, don't ever stop going after the life that you want. Let's talk about it!
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We often find ourselves in a constant battle between what we KNOW and what we FEEL. In this first episode of season 2, let's talk about the difference between the two and which one you should trust more.
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2021 is coming to a close, as is the first year of JAMWM. As a 'thank you', I leave you with this one final nugget to take it with you wherever you go. I'll see in 2022!
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If you're like me, you experience a tremendous amount of pushback whenever you're trying to move in the direction that God has told you to move. Whenever you're trying to make things happen, something will always stand in the way. But you can fight it and win. Let's discuss.
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It's the end of the year, and with the end of the year comes resolutions. Many look down on those who make resolutions, but it's okay to want different for yourself. But in order to see those changes through, you have to put a plan into action. Let's talk about it.
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A lot of times, we take what we've been through or the things that we've done that may have been (what we perceive as) 'bad' and we internalize it. We think that because we've done a bad thing that we've become a bad person. You need to shake out of that. Let's talk about it.
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I know it seems like no one cares, but I promise you that someone does. Just keep moving the direction of your dreams and what/who is supposed to follow, will.
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After all of the drama, the trauma, and the unrest, we all need the reminder that it's okay to step back and walk away for a moment. Let's talk about it.
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A root is "the basic cause, source, or origin of something". For everything, there is a reason -- a root. Our issues and mental states are no different. The way we see ourselves and our lives stems from something that took place at some point, and in order for healing to take place, we have to get to the root of why we feel this way to begin with. Let's discuss.
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Everyone always has something to say about who you are and what you do. But only you and God know what your purpose is and how you're supposed to fulfill it. All counsel ain't wise counsel. So be aware that not everyone is out to actually help you. Let's talk about it.
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Have you ever stopped to think about what all the hardships are teaching you? Let's talk about it.
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We all had our own thoughts about what a friend should be when we were kids. But as we got older, those thoughts shifted and our definition of "friendship" has changed...as it should! Join me as I talk about the people you have in your life, why you have them there, and who you need to let go of. Learn also how you can go about doing the letting go.
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So many of us are in this place between trying to make something happen and not seeing results from our work. It causes us to believe that nothing is happening at all, but that's not true! Something IS happening -- on the INSIDE! Even though we may not see or feel things happening, that doesn't mean nothing is. Join me as I talk about the cocoon phase and signs to look out for when you're in the midst of a transformation.
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So many of us do things, not because we want to do them or because they will lead us closer to our purpose, but out of fear, desire for approval, and to be seen and feel appreciated. But when you go that route, you'll soon find out that it's the wrong route. You need to be brave enough to admit it, and even more brave to do something about it. In this episode, I'm gonna give you some signs to look out for if you're unsure of whether or not what you're currently doing is what you're supposed to be doing.
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When you're always looking to the left and to the right of you, it's easy to feel like the life you live and the things you have are not enough. In this episode, I am going to discuss why comparison is a self-esteem killer and what you can do to keep from thinking that you're not enough.
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September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. So I wanted to take some time to give some of my personal thoughts on why we as Black people don't discuss it as much as we should and how to fix it. There is also quite a bit of information for those who are struggling.
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So many of us neglect to be in the present moment and in a state of gratefulness because our minds are elsewhere. Join me as I discuss how to bring your awareness back to the here and the now by practicing mindfulness.
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Life is not always about what happened to you. It's not always about the situations and circumstances; it's about how you perceive them. The painting of your life is yours and you can frame it (view it) any way you choose to. Join me as I discuss what this all means and how you can begin to see things in a new way.
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You may not think you're making an impact, but you are. Join me as I discuss why who you are and what you do matters, even when it doesn't look or feel like it.
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The superwoman thing has become both a badge of honor and a hinderance on so many levels. We've gotten to the point where we take on so much stuff and it just piles up and piles up until we're at the point of breaking. You don't have to be that way. You can give yourself permission to heal and be human. Hopefully this episode helps you do just that.
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On this episode of "Just a Moment with Mila", the topic of discussion is 'Eradicating Limiting Beliefs'. We all have thought thoughts about ourselves that weren't true. And those thoughts ultimately got in the way of us reaching our full potential. Join me as I break down what a limiting belief is, how to identify them, why we have them, and how to eradicate them.
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We all have a story to tell. And we all have a duty to tell it. Your story is tied to someone else's freedom, healing, and clarity. Join me as I discuss the importance of your story and you telling it.
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Are you waiting for the perfect circumstance(s) before entering into the space of self-love? Well, stop waiting and go there now. Let's discuss.
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I know that it's hard out here for you. It's hard out here for me also. And I also know how it easy it can be to want to throw in the towel when things don't go the way we'd hoped they would. I've been that person before, but I can't be her anymore. Join me as I discuss the importance of persisting.
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Listen as I share the epiphany I had and how I realized it has shaped me my entire life and what I am now doing about. I hope it helps someone.
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So many of us have dreams and goals that we want to fulfill, but we're afraid. In this week's episode, I'm gonna talk about having the audacity to do, be, and live -- just the way you want to.
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Everything isn't perfect, but everything is okay. And this is something I have to constantly remind myself of when things don't go according to my plan. Join me as I talk about what it means to surrender.
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If you're breathing, you've dealt with some sort of rejection in your life. It doesn't feel good. It makes us question ourselves and what we're truly capable of. But rejection isn't always a negative thing. In fact, rejection can be one of the greatest things that could ever happen for you. Listen in as I discuss why rejection is a good thing.
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Small steps lead the big progress. And sometimes we don't stop to acknowledge the progress that we've made towards the goal(s) we are trying to reaching. This week, I will discuss celebrating your wins and give some simple tips that you can use to do so.
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We all have those moments when we are bombarded by doubt. But when you know who you are and what you're here for, you can easily bring yourself back to you. Listen as I tell my own story and give you tips on ways to boost your own confidence when you need to.
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Think of all the things you could do if you only mustered up the courage.
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Find your happy place with this week's episode on tranquility. Dedicated to my sister, brother-in-law, and their children.
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Why are you here? Don't know? Join me as I help you figure out what your purpose is.
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Do you struggle with saying no? Are you a people-pleaser? Do you lack boundaries and need people to always approve of and like you? If you answered yes to these questions, this episode is for you.
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Many of us are afraid of change. Some of us want to change but don't know how. Then there are those of us with barriers that hold us back. Let's talk about it.
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Got time for a little story? I'm sure you do. And it's a good one!
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The dreaded 'f' word that so many of us have trouble navigating. Let's talk about it.
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Black women are known to wear the label "strong", whether we like it or not. Today, I'm gonna talk about why it's not always a good label to have.
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We talk about knowing our worth a lot, but many of us struggle with figuring out what it means and how to achieve it. Let's talk about it!
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Accepting yourself can be a hard thing to do, but it can be done. Join me as I talk about it.
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People always say that failure is not an option. Well, I think that not only is it an option, but it's a must! Join me as I talk, from my heart, about why it's okay to fail and how to be more comfortable when failure arises.
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Join me as I discuss what it means to be authentic, why we have trouble with authenticity, and how to break out of the trouble so that we can be our true authentic selves.
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The dreaded v-word! I know, I know. But this will help you discover why it's necessary, help you decide when and when not to be vulnerable, as well as decide who you can and cannot be vulnerable with.
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Boundaries are tough to create but without them, you may suffer far worse than with them. Join me as I discuss why boundaries are important and steps you can take to create and maintain them.
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So many of us seek permission from outward to do what's inside of us to do. Join me as I discuss why you don't need permission to do you.
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Why is it so hard for us to hold ourselves and others accountable? Join me as I discuss why accountability is necessary for forward movement.
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Last week was a tough one. We're all in our feelings about everything, but we have to acknowledge it all in order to get through it.
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