She Said What?: Recent Episodes
Alyssa Harper
Welcome to 'She Said What?' with your host, Alyssa Harper! This is a space where brutal honesty is required and nothing is TMI. We'll be chatting all things health, wellness, sex, relationships and more. You're going to leave this space empowered to tell your stories and excited to become the best version of yourself!
Connect with me on Instagram: @alyssataylorharper
The tea is finally being spilled. In this episode, you'll hear about:
- how I went from a 3 year monogamous relationship to opening up with that partner
- my experiences of dating new people
- how to manage jealousy and miscommunications
- how to set boundaries for an open relationship
- how to bring up non-monogamy with a partner
- & so much more!
Resources
The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok (@alyssataylorharper)
Instagram (@alyssataylorharper)
Facebook Group (She Said What? Podcast Group)
Do you feel like one week you're hot, funny and gorgeous, but the next week you're depressed, confused and feeling all around yucky? Are you trying to keep daily routines but failing miserably? Are you exhausted and nearing burnout? Trust me, I hear you.
Two years ago, I started Cycle Syncing and since then, I've learned all of the tips and tricks. In this episode, you'll hear how to:
- eat the right foods (without any restrictions)
- work out less and feel better
- sync your relationships & sex life to your cycle
- create a work schedule that makes you love what you do
As mentioned in the episode, subscribe to Beducated for 40% off using the code 'alyssa' or click here: https://beducate.me/pd2336-alyssa
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok (@alyssataylorharper)
Instagram (@alyssataylorharper)
Facebook Group (She Said What? Podcast Group)
Why are they sometimes worse than romantic breakups? How do we know if we should move on or try to work it out? How can we heal and make new friendships, without self sabotaging? In this episode, we'll be answering all of these questions, while addressing the impermanence in relationships and what we can do to cope with our ever-changing lives. Spoiler: nothing is wasted and you're going to be okay!
As mentioned in the episode, subscribe to Beducated for 40% off using the code 'alyssa' or click here: https://beducate.me/pd2336-alyssa
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok (@alyssataylorharper)
Instagram (@alyssataylorharper)
Facebook Group (She Said What? Podcast Group)
Whether you're exploring your sexuality for the first time or queerness is your whole world, this episode is going to help you navigate:
- internalized homophobia
- coming out
- feeling "queer enough"
- feeling like you're behind
Not only are we exploring internally to break down misconceptions and negative thinking patterns, but we're talking about the practical things that you can start doing TODAY to work towards feeling confident in your sexuality.
As mentioned in the episode, subscribe to Beducated for 40% off using the code 'alyssa' or click here: https://beducate.me/pd2338-alyssa!
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok (@alyssataylorharper)
Instagram (@alyssataylorharper)
Facebook Group (She Said What? Podcast Group)
If there's anything I wish I knew before I started dating, it's these 10 tips. Whether you're single at the moment, have a bf/gf/etc. or it's... complicated, I've got you.
In this episode, we're answering the questions:
- Is it worth dating within your friend group?
- Should a relationship "feel easy" or does it take work?
- When should I let a problem go and when should I bring it up?
- & so much more!
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok (@alyssataylorharper)
Instagram (@alyssataylorharper)
Facebook Group (She Said What? Podcast Group)
Have you ever been given an opportunity that felt like it wasn't meant for you? Do you doubt your abilities even when the people around you believe in you? In this episode, we explore:
- why we get Imposter Syndrome
- who it's most likely to affect
- why it's not a bad thing
- what you can do to cope
Resources
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Journal
Whether you're feeling stuck sexually in your long term relationship or you're trying to navigate the early stages of a relationship, sex can be hard to talk about. This episode is going to give you the framework to be able to have the conversations that will enhance your sex life. We'll be talking about the must have's like consent, caution and communication; plus, we'll dive into the common issues like pain during sex and inability to orgasm with a partner.
Resources:
VUSH Curiosity Cues
The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
Alis App (Sexual Archetype Quiz)
Max Black
Yes, No, Maybe List
This episode is all about self pleasure and how we can grow in the intimacy that we share with our bodies. I'll be taking you through questions that will help you to unlearn the shameful BS that we are taught about sex. This episode will leave you feeling closer to your sexual self and excited to enjoy the pleasure that is available to you!
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok (@alyssataylorharper)
Instagram (@alyssataylorharper)
Facebook Group (reflection questions found here)
Resources
Self Pleasure Statistic
Come As You Are - Emily Nagoski
We've all had friends surprise us! Sometimes they come into our lives unexpectedly with aMAZiNg energy or they completely f*ck us over. This episode is going to help you get better at making the RIGHT friends.
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
Instagram
Facebook Group
Some people kinda suck! But how you respond matters. In today's episode, you'll hear about:
- dealing with difficult humans in the workplace, your family, your friend group, etc.
- 8 tips to being the bigger person, while standing your ground
- setting boundaries to avoid the BS
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
Facebook Group
Wellllll sh*t, things didn't work out. Lucky for you, we've all been there and it's going to be okay! In this weeks episode, we'll be talking:
- the one thing you MUST do to get over your ex
- how to begin the healing process
- healthy & unhealthy coping mechanisms
- the things that ACTUALLY help you move on
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
Facebook Group
Does money make you anxious? Are there habits you wish you didn't have when it comes to money? In this week's episode, we're talking:
- money mindsets and where they come from
- "money stories" and what yours says about you
- healing your relationship with money
- understanding where your money goes & creating a basic budget
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
Facebook Group
Resources:
Up Bank
From moving across the world after high school to becoming a completely different person after I left my old beliefs... I've picked up a few things. To celebrate my 23rd birthday, this episode is 23 life lessons that I wish I knew sooner!
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
Facebook Group
Resources
Better Help
A lot of us are perfectionists! It's super common to feel this way and nothing to be ashamed of. But how might this be holding you back? What can you do to get out of the perfectionist mindset and go for what you want?
If you relate with the following, this week's episode is for you:
- you procrastinate following through on the things you're passionate about (ex. starting a creative project/business, changing career paths, going on a date)
- you struggle to feel confident in your work, you often second guess yourself
- you feel like you never quite meet the expectations/goals you have for yourself
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This group is an opportunity for discussion around the weekly topics from the SSW Podcast. Please feel free to post in this group if you need advice or are just simply looking for community!
If you often find yourself getting to dragged events you don't want to be at and generally have a hard time saying 'no', this one's for you. In this episode, we'll be chatting:
- tips for the people pleasers and over achievers
- self leadership for the anxious girly
- how to set healthy boundaries (work, relationships, etc.)
- how boundaries create space for creativity
- creating authentically, following your passions
- how people pleasing will steal your joy & sense of purpose
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
Have you ever felt like it's hard to make friends? Have you ever struggled with self doubt in relationships, feeling like you're not good enough? Has social anxiety played a role in your life? If this sounds like you, then this episode is for you! In this episode, you're going to hear about:
- how to make new friends
- how to manage social anxiety at a social event
- why community is so important
- how important it is for queer people to be in community
- & more!
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This group is an opportunity for discussion around the weekly topics from the SSW Podcast. Please feel free to post in this group if you need advice or are just simply looking for community!
Are you trying to figure out your sexuality but it's really scary and confusing? Understanding my sexuality was something I struggled with for years. I felt too straight to say I was LGBTQIA+ (because I knew I liked men) but too into women to say I was straight... turned out, I'm bi! This episode is 10 moments in my life that made me realize I'm not straight, since I'm often requested to talk about what it "feels like" to be bisexual.
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This group is an opportunity for discussion around the weekly topics from the SSW Podcast. Please feel free to post in this group if you need advice or are just simply looking for community!
We could all use a little more discipline... but not in a hustle culture kinda way, more in an accountability towards our passions kind of way. Because a lack of direction, crappy time management skills and a dash of imposter syndrome CAN genuinely hold you back from your dreams. You're not lazy! You're not stupid! You're not "not passionate enough" - you just need a little push (and some tips from yours truly)! In this episode, we talk about why discipline IS self love and how to find that healthy balance between 'the soft life' and the potential burnout that comes from hustle culture.
Resources
Atomic Habits (book)
Calendar App
Structured App
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This group is an opportunity for discussion around the weekly topics from the SSW Podcast. Please feel free to post in this group if you need advice or are just simply looking for community!
I recently shared a Tiktok titled, '5 Myths About Sex That I Once Genuinely Believed' and you guys had so much to say about it (thoughts, questions, etc)! I thought, why not really dig into these points, share the stories that come along with them and have a chat about the things we all need to unlearn about sex! This is the sex advice I wish I had 6 months ago AND 6 years ago (theres something in here for everybody)!
Resources
In The Flo - Alissa Vitti (book)
Come As You Are - Emily Nagoski (book)
Jen Winston (instagram)
Greedy - Jen Winston (book)
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This group is an opportunity for discussion around the weekly topics from the SSW Podcast. Please feel free to post in this group if you need advice or are just simply looking for community!
In this episode, we are joined by Millie Gooch, founder of The Sober Girl Society and author of The Sober Girl Society Handbook! Millie has built a beautiful community for people who are sober and "sober curious" (a new term I'm obsessed with)! This episode is going to help you reflect on your relationship with alcohol, which is something we ALL could use. It's important to ask yourself why you drink; are you looking for confidence on the dance floor, momentarily dampening anxiety or potentially trying to escape? If there is even a part of you that feels this way, this episode is a shame free space for you to explore what changes you can make to heal your relationship with alcohol and more importantly, yourself (and no, this doesn't mean you must fully give it up). I'm so excited to share this idea of mindful drinking with all of you and for you to hear Millie's inspiring story!
Connect with Millie
Website (shop book & more)
Instagram (@sobergirlsociety)
Connect with Alyssa
Tiktok
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This group is an opportunity for discussion around the weekly topics from the SSW Podcast. Please feel free to post in this group if you need advice or are just simply looking for community!
Have you been stuck on a decision you need to make? Whether or not to study? Whether you want to save money or travel? Or maybe it's the every day decisions that drive you mad, like what to make for dinner. In today's episode, I'll be sharing with you 5 tips that have helped me to make choices, big and small, so that you can avoid the anxiety that comes with decision avoidance. We'll be chatting about decision fatigue, intuition, deciphering your emotions and more!
Resources
Atomic Habits (book - building a routine)
Decision Fatigue - Healthline
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This group is an opportunity for discussion around the weekly topics from the SSW Podcast. Please feel free to post in this group if you need advice or are just simply looking for community!
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Today I am sharing the keys things that I did in 2022 that I will absolutely be doing again in 2023, because of how much they made my year. This episode is going to help set you up for the best year you’ve ever had. Think morning/night time routine hacks, goal setting tips, and real advice on how to get the things you want in life to gravitate towards you!
Resources
Atomic Habits (book)
The Five Minute Journal
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This group is an opportunity for discussion around the weekly topics from the SSW Podcast. Please feel free to post in this group if you need advice or are just simply looking for community!
Today, we have the privilege to hear from Naam Bachmayer (hot, fun, bisexual, etc)! She is a certified Menstrual Cycle Coach, Functional Hormone Specialist and Cookbook Author. Her mission is to empower you to balance period pain, PMS & irregular cycles and help you to connect to the power of your period with Cyclical Living & Mind-Body-Soul Nourishment. As a Thai-German, queer woman, she creates an inclusive space on her Instagram & TikTok for BIPOC & LGBTQIA2S+ and offers intimate 121 Coaching, deep dive Workshops & more. Topics we touch on in today's episode include:
- how your hormones might change your attraction (super spicy chat) and libido
- how to EASILY use food to balance your hormones
- how to create a schedule that actually flows intuitively with your hormones
- & so much more!
Find Naam (@thecyclicalcoach)
Tiktok
Website (cookbook & more)
Free Cycle Chart (downloadable)
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This group is an opportunity for discussion around the weekly topics from the SSW Podcast. Please feel free to post in this group if you need advice or are just simply looking for community!
This episode is packed with everything you need to know about HSV (herpes)! There is an enormous amount of stigma around STI's but once you know the facts and understand how common they are, it all becomes a lot less scary. Joining us is Tricia, aka. The Safe Slut, who is a sex positive, HSV+ content creator who works to empower vulva owners with herpes! Things we will touch on includes:
- how to avoid contracting herpes and other STI's
- being confident in your sex life while being HSV+
- how to tell a potential sexual partner that you have herpes
- how to cope with herpes outbreaks
- & so much more!
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This group is an opportunity for discussion around the weekly topics from the SSW Podcast. We also have a book club that focuses on sex/relationships, feminism and self love! Please feel free to post in this group if you need advice or are just simply looking for community!
Connect with Tricia aka. The Safe Slut
Tiktok
Website (Shop Holistic HSV+ Vulva Wellness Potions & More)
If I asked you what you think about your body, would your initial reaction be negative? We've been taught that our bodies need work and a lot of it. We've been convinced we need to "fix" every detail of our bodies to fit the societal standards of beauty but who says we have to accept that? Let's talk about how we can heal our relationship with our bodies from a place of compassion AND how this is going to dramatically amplify your sex life!
Resources
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
In The Flo by Alisa Vitti
Mid Size Fashion (Chloe Ferrari)
Problematic Fame Insta Account
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This group is an opportunity for discussion around the weekly topics from the SSW Podcast. We also have a book club that focuses on sex/relationships, feminism and self love! Please feel free to post in this group if you need advice or are just simply looking for community!
This week is a listener led episode where I answer all of the anonymous questions you guys sent in through Instagram (and y'all did not hold back lmao). You guys wanted to know all my secrets and get advice on how to break up with a friend, how to navigate a work crush, how to tell your partner that you want to explore sexually + much more!
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This group is an opportunity for discussion around the weekly topics from the SSW Podcast. We also have a book club that focuses on sex/relationships, feminism and self love! Please feel free to post in this group if you need advice or are just simply looking for community!
Vibrators? Pleasure rings?? Suction??!? Dual stimulation???? Amazing orgasms???!!?
This weeks episode is a full on HOW TO for all things sex toys! Whether you've never had an orgasm or you're looking to expand your collection, this episode is for you. Let's get spicy!
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This group is an opportunity for discussion around the weekly topics from the SSW Podcast. We also have a book club that focuses on sex/relationships, feminism and self love! Please feel free to post in this group if you need advice or are just simply looking for community!
RECCS
VIBRATORS
Zee by Dame (bullet)
Majesty 2 by VUSH (wand)
Crave Vesper (necklace vibrator)
Pom by Dame (palm vibrator)
SUCTION
Aer by Dame (oval opening)
We Vibe Melt (oval opening & my #1 fave)
Empress 2 by VUSH (circle opening)
Sila by Lelo (wider contact point)
Pipedream Fantasy for Her (vibrating pump + tongue attachment)
Fin Finger Vibrator by Dame
OTHER
Womanizer by Lovehoney (suction + penetration)
Pure Wand by NJOY (curve edge dildo)
Shimmy by Unbound Babes (vibrating butt plug)
Hugo Male by Lelo (prostate massager)
In this episode, I share about the lessons I've learned over the last 5 years that have given me better relationships, a stronger connection to my authentic self and have even helped me receive the things that I want in my life (friendships, job, lifestyle, etc.). You're going to hear a bunch of fun stories and walk away feeling encouraged. This is the advice I wish I had when I was younger!
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This group is an opportunity for discussion around the weekly topics from the SSW Podcast. We also have a book club that focuses on sex/relationships, feminism and self love! Please feel free to post in this group if you need advice or are just simply looking for community!
Resources:
Binaural Beats
Teach People How to Treat You Podcast
If your sex education in school was as bad as mine, this episode is for you. In this episode, we talk all things consent, virginity, orgasms and blue balls??? We also get to hear some tips from the SSW listener community! Educated sex is fun, pleasurable and shame-free, so let’s get up to speed.
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This group is an opportunity for community, growth and discussion around the weekly topics from the pod. PS. we have a book club and it's super cute.
Resources:
The Courage to Be Disliked - Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga (Book)
Come As You Are - Emly Nagoski
VUSH - Lube & Toys & Other Fun Things
MAX BLACK (AUS, stores or online)
THIS IS THE CONFIDENCE BOOST YOU NEED. In this episode, through a mix of encouragement and tough love, you'll learn how to increase your self esteem, have a better relationship with your body and how to put your authentic self out there! Let this episode be your turning point.
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This group is an opportunity for community, growth and discussion around the weekly topics from the pod. PS. we have a book club and it's super cute.
Resources:
The Courage to Be Disliked - Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga (Book)
Imogen Ivy (Insta)
Riley Hemson (Insta)
May Ridts (Insta)
Jamie Zella (Insta)
This episode is for the following people:
• someone who wants to unlearn toxic beliefs & mindsets they’ve been taught (by family, the church, or even just general societal norms that are harmful)
• someone who wants to re-establish their overall mindset on themselves and the world; establish their true values
• someone who feels lost after leaving the church (wants to fill the gaps)
• advice for those who have different beliefs to their friends & family + how to manage these relationships
Disclaimer: This episode is not here to encourage you that this is the path YOU should take but to educate on deconstructing and how to even begin this process. I hope that the conclusions you may come to after listening to this episode speaks to YOU and gives you the framework to explore YOUR truth. I do not wish to offend anyone and know that this is just my personal journey, as I hope to encourage and help others in this process.
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This group is an opportunity for community, growth and discussion around the weekly topics from the pod. PS. we have a book club and it's super cute.
Resources/Creators to Follow
Values Quiz
The Courage to Be Disliked - Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga (Book)
God is Grey - Youtube
God is Grey - Instagram
The Naked Pastor - Website
The Naked Pastor - Instagram
Do you have questions about bisexuality? Maybe you're bisexual or thinking you might be. Maybe you're in a relationship with somebody who identifies as bi and you simply want to educate yourself. In this episode, we discuss the reality of being bisexual: why it's something to be proud of, coming out, common mental health struggles, intersectionality, threesomes and more!
Connect with Alyssa Harper
Tiktok
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This group is an opportunity for community, growth and discussion around the weekly topics from the pod. PS. we have a book club and it's super cute.
Resources
Bi by Julia Shaw
Greedy by Jen Winston
Joining us is Sex and Relationship Coach, Alyssa Ljub, answering the super juicy anonymous questions sent in by you guys! In this episode, we touch on:
exploring your sexual self & sexuality without shame exploring relationships with women for the first time (as a woman) open relationships/non-monogamy religious beliefs and sex ethical porn how to stop having pain during sex enthusiastic consent & communicating your wants/needs in the bedroom
Find Alyssa Ljub - Guest Instagram Tiktok
Find Alyssa Harper - Host (@alyssataylorharper) on: Tiktok Instagram
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP This group is an opportunity for community, growth and discussion around the weekly topics from the pod. PLUS, we will be running a Book Club focused around self growth, sexual wellness and feminism (more info soon to come)!
Have you felt like you're never the one to initiate? Do you want to have sex more, but you don't want to wait around to be asked? Has your partner asked you to initiate more but you don't know how? If you said yes to ANY of these questions: this episode is for you!
We all want our partners to feel wanted, but being the one to initiate sex can be challenging if you're not used to doing it. You might think it needs to be a grand gesture, but it doesn't! In this episode, I explain the different types of desire and how to apply it to your relationship (understanding this changed my sex life)! Plus, I give you 10 different ways to initiate sex, whether you're confident in this area or not. It's time to try something new and prioritize your pleasure!
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This space will provide additional resources based on the weekly episodes. PLUS, we will be running a Book Club focused around self growth, sexual wellness and feminism (more info to come)! This is a chance for community, growth and discussion around the weekly topics from the pod.
Find Alyssa Harper (@alyssataylorharper) on:
Tiktok
Want to know all my secrets? Not related to me? Great! Because in this episode, you'll get to know me a little better (or a lot better) and hear my advice on the messages you guys sent in! Enjoy hearing me overshare for an hour. Buckle up.
JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP
This space will provide additional resources based on the weekly episodes. PLUS, a Book Club focused around self growth, sexual wellness and feminism (more info to come)! This is a chance for community, growth and discussion around the weekly topics from the pod.
Find Alyssa Harper (@alyssataylorharper) on:
Tiktok
Resources:
Fight The New Drug
Greedy by Jen Winston
God is Grey
Naked Pastor
Kosas - Deodorant
Aveda Hair
Dermalogica
Max Black Sex Shop
Have you ever tried to do it all at once? Have you ever been overwhelmed by the layers of everything you're trying to accomplish? This episode is about acknowledging the current season you're living in so that you can get the most out of your every day life. In this episode, you will get a step-by-step journalling practice that will help change the way you manage your goals and passions.
Find Alyssa Harper (@alyssataylorharper) on:
Tiktok
Have you ever not gone for something because you "just can't picture yourself doing it"? So many of our daily choices come back to visualization and the lens we see ourselves through. It's time we wipe the smudge off that lens and see the potential that truly lies within us. In this episode, we discuss the science behind WHY visualization actually works and how you can incorporate it into your life to create the life you've always wanted. We discuss automatic negative thoughts and how to change the narrative because you deserve a live filled with decisions made out of self confidence, not fear.
Find Alyssa Harper (@alyssataylorharper) on:
Tiktok
Sources:
The Powerful Connection Between Your Hips and Your Emotions
The Anti Anxiety Notebook
The Body Keeps The Score
Have you ever wondered... What even is an orgasm? Does it just feel good or are there other benefits? Why do I sometimes feel sad after sex? Well, today you get the answers! In this episode, we also cover how your pelvic floor, your hormones and even your self-confidence can affect your orgasms. Get ready to enhance your sex life!
Find Alyssa Harper (@alyssataylorharper) on:
Tiktok
Links
Ways to Give and Donate to Planned Parenthood
The Three Biggest Implications For Black Women From Roe V. Wade's Fall
This episode is all the inspiration you need to shift your mindset from "ugh I'm useless on period" to "my period is an opportunity to connect with myself". We talk about how to break out of the mindset of being in constant harvest and how to accept and even appreciate our cyclical ways of being. I share with with you all of the best foods to eat to support your hormones, the best exercise to do on your period, how to journal & reflect in this phase and how to create a work/school schedule that doesn't leave you feeling drained. It's time to shift our patriarchal beliefs around our periods and begin to lean into all the beautiful benefits they give us!
Find Alyssa Harper (@alyssataylorharper) on:
Tiktok
Resources:
In The Flo - Alissa Vitti
Why Does The FDA Recommend 2000 Calories
Being in a healthy long-term relationship is a beautiful thing. But sometimes, after things are comfortable and consistent, we can start to lose the excitement towards the sex life we share with our partner. This is often when people start questioning if the relationship is as good as they thought it was. It can be hurtful to not feel wanted and frustrating to see this spiral. But instead of assuming that a change in the sex life means the relationship has to end, why don't we talk about some alternatives. In this episode I give you an understanding of WHY this can happen and WHAT you can do to spice things up and get that feeling of novelty back.
Find Alyssa Harper (@alyssataylorharper) on:
Tiktok
Resources:
Where Do Kinks Come From?
Frenchie - My fave condoms (hyaluronic acid ones are amazing) & lube!
Dame - great toy selection (US & Canada)
Max Black - all things sexual wellness (Australia)
Normal - Australia, US, UK, Canada, New Zealand
Joining us in this episode is Moonli, a Hormone and Period Nutritionist (how cool is that)?? She is teaching us all about eating for the different phases of your menstrual cycle, why food is such a key factor in balancing our hormones and how to implement this in a way that isn't overwhelming. She also answers ALL of the questions you guys sent in:
What even happens to my hormones in my menstrual cycle?
What if I have PCOS/Endometriosis/irregular periods? Is it different? Can I still sync my cycle?
What if I'm on the birth control pill/the hormonal or copper IUD? Does that change things?
Are HIIT workouts wrecking my hormones?
Does my food have to be organic? Which foods can I eat to get rid of cramps/acne/bloating?
Also, is bloating something to worry about?
And more!
This girl is a powerhouse and you guys are going to LOVE this episode.
Find Alyssa:
on Tiktok
on Instagram
Find Moonli:
on Instagram
Learn about Moonli’s Cycle Syncing Course
Sign Up for Moonli’s Course with a 5% OFF Discount
Dirty Dozen List (Foods to Buy Organic)
Books/Apps:
In The Flo - Alissa Vitti
Woman Code - Alissa Vitti
Beyond the Pill - Dr. Jolene Brighton
The Period Repair Manual - Lara Briden
Taking Charge of Your Fertility - Tony Weschler
Our Hormones, Our Health - Susanne Esche-Belke and Suzann Kirschner-Brouns
Read Your Body (app)
Flo (app)
In this episode, we have the opportunity to hear from Blue; a queer, non-binary, HILARIOUS friend of mine. Blue teaches breathe work/meditation, AND works with an organization called The Man Cave that helps facilitate conversations with young men to help them deconstruct and reform their ideas around masculinity. Blue has an inspiring story of healing, challenging their beliefs and becoming their most authentic self. Blue challenges me to be a better human on a regular basis so I KNOW this episode is going to fuel you with joy, excitement for life and the permission to explore everything life has to offer.
Find Alyssa:
on Tiktok
on Instagram
Find Blue:
on Instagram
Resources:
Alok on Instagram (gender non-conforming reference mentioned by Blue)
Joining us today, we have Roxanne Nai'a who is a Science Communicator and Social Psychology Doctoral Student who studies processes that impact women's experiences in the world; things like sexism, objectification of women and sexualization. In this episode we get to hear what it's like to be a women working in science and all about the incredible studies she has done (even Cardi B had something to say about it)! We also hear about her journey with the birth control pill, the IUD and how she travelled to Canada for an IUD that wasn't available to her in the USA (if you are someone who menstruates in the USA, you NEED to hear this)! This episode is packed with empowering knowledge and the kick of feminism that we all need.
Find Alyssa:
on Tiktok
on Instagram
Find Roxanne:
on Tiktok
on Instagram
Resources:
Racial Disparities in Postpartum Pain Management
Gender Bias in Pain
You probably don't think of yourself as a "judgemental person", when truly, most of us are (in one way or another). In this episode, I walk you through changing your mindset, so that you may live a life that aligns with YOUR values and allows others in your life to do the same. When we can adjust our automatic judgemental thoughts about others, we have better relationships, more confidence in ourselves and live happier lives. Challenge yourself today with this episode!
This episode is here to challenge your thinking around anxiety and give you the tools to help you get through the fears you have about trying new things or progressing in life, whether that be in your job, in relationships or just simply putting yourself out there. A little bit of nerves are normal when we're trying something new but if it's starting to feel heavy and they're stopping you from creating the life that you want, it's time to pause and work through this. In this episode I'll give you my 10 greatest tips to treating anxiety, you'll hear some of my own stories with it and you'll leave feeling empowered to change your patterns of thinking for good.
Resources: Natural Ways to Lower Cortisol The End of Mental Illness by Dr. Daniel Amen Vitable Vitamins (ALYSSA50 for 50% off first month); Ashwagandha supplement mentioned
Many people are scared to commit to relationships because they feel like it'll stunt their personal growth. But if anything, my husband and I have supported each other in this journey, better than if we were to have done it alone. Just as we individually, go through different seasons in life, so does our relationships. Sam and I have changed so much since the day of our wedding, yet, we are way more satisfied about our relationship now, than we were then. Today we tell our story of going through challenging seasons together and coming out stronger. We give advice on what to when a major disagreement seems like it's going to ruin the relationship.
In this episode, we have the lovely Eli Blanco (samegirl.eli) back again as we dive deep into your questions about Cycle Syncing. Now that you know what this is all about (if you don't, make sure to listen to Episode 19 before this one), it's time to answer your questions on how things like the birth control pill, using an IUD (copper or hormonal) or having irregular periods might affect your ability to Cycle Sync. We talk about how to optimize your sex like in each phase of your cycle, which tasks to focus on in each phase for better productivity AND how coffee might be affecting your hormones (don't worry, it's not all bad news)! This episode taught me so much about my body and applying these things to my life has been incredibly empowering ― I know you guys are going to love it!
Follow Alyssa: Instagram, Tiktok
Follow Eli: Instagram, Tiktok
Resources:
Books
Women Code - Alissa Vitti
In The Flo - Alissa Vitti
Be Period Positive - Chella Quint
Apps
Flo App (Period Tracker)
My Flo (Period Tracker by Alissa Vitti)
Website/Downloads
Food Chart for Each Phase
Period Tracking Book
Don't have time to listen to a bunch of podcasts but still want to get my #1 tips and have your best glow up yet? You're in the right place. I'll be sharing all of my secrets from fitness to mindset, to sex and sexuality, with specific brand recommendations and all of the resources listed below! Basically, here’s everything I would tell myself at the start of my self growth journey that I intentionally began about 2 years ago when I was at my worst and I decided that something needed to change. I tried a whole bunch of things to get to where I am now and THESE are the things that WORKED. This is your cheat sheet from one bestie to another.
Let's Connect:
Tiktok
Resources:
Books
Atomic Habits by James Clear
How Not to Die by Dr Michael Gregor
The End of Mental Illness by Dr Daniel Amen
In The Flo by Alissa Vitti
Skin Care
Dermalogica
Aesop
Go-To
Other Products
Vitable Vitamins
AIM'N Activewear
If you've stumbled across this episode, you might be struggling with something extremely common. Did you know 10-15% of women report they've never had an orgasm before and roughly 50% of women report being unhappy with how often they orgasm? Did you know you're not alone if you're struggling in this area? There's nothing wrong with you. Don't freak out. I've got you covered.
Resources: ABC Article Medline Plus In The Flo by Alisa Vitti (book I'm currently reading) Fight The New Drug
This episode is for those who menstruate (have their period), and those who know someone who menstruates... so, all of you! Joining us today is period guru, Eli Blanco (also known as @samegirl.eli on Instagram) who is incredibly talented in teaching people how to get better energy, have a better connection with themselves and how to reach their fitness goals, ALL through the power of their period! I personally learned so much from this episode and am feeling super empowered to lean into this practise going forward. I know you guys will be blown away too!
Resources
Books
Women Code - Alissa Vitti
In The Flo - Alissa Vitti
Be Period Positive - Chella Quint
Apps
Flo App (Period Tracker)
My Flo (Period Tracker by Alissa Vitti)
Website/Downloads
Food Chart for Each Phase
Period Tracking Book
It's 2022 and you survived the last two years, congrats! It's the start of a New Year which means it's time to dust off the ol' New Years Resolutions list from last year to hang back up on the fridge. JK!!! But, I am going to help that not happen, by sharing with you all of the tips and tricks you need to creating solid goals and turning these goals into regular habits. A goal without a plan is only a dream!
About six months ago, I came out as bisexual - to myself, to my husband and to everyone really. I always knew there was something there but I never felt like it was the right time to label it. In this episode, I'll be telling you my story, as I answer questions that you guys sent in, through Instagram. We cover topics such as coming out, exploring your sexuality, being queer in the church, biphobia in the LGBTQ+ community and how to have conversations with people in your life who aren't supportive. I really hope that this podcast makes you feel seen and that you get to learn more about sexuality whether is for yourself or in support of someone else! As I've said many times, if you need a chat, my DM’s are always open. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alyssataylorharper/
Resources: Jen Winston, Greedy, Book. Instagram: @jenerous God is Grey, Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcYXjuKJqYw (start here)! Instagram: @godisgrey Queer Christian Artist, Instagram: @nakedpastor Learn more about porn: https://fightthenewdrug.org/
Everyone could use a little pep talk here and there. But this episode isn't just a pep talk; you'll be leaving this podcast with practical things you can be doing on a regular basis to grow your relationship with yourself. Having healthy self love benefits how we feel towards ourselves, our relationships with others, the decisions we make and ultimately, where we end up! Let's really dive into this today; get ready to reflect!
Let's Connect: https://www.instagram.com/alyssataylorharper/
This week, I am joined by my lovely husband, Sam, to bring you a very sexy conversation filled with honesty, inclusivity, respect and a whole lot of laughs. We will be answering YOUR questions from Instagram: how does sex change in long-term relationships/marriage, how to use your partner’s sexual past to learn more about them (+ conquer jealousy), is masturbation healthy in a relationship, are dry spells normal, what do we think about sex before marriage, do we have any big regrets sexually and MORE! There was a lot to cover in this episode so if you want a part 2, let me know and it'll be all yours! Let’s Connect: https://www.instagram.com/alyssataylorharper/
We need to have a heart to heart. Most of us don't know what the hell we're doing. And it's definitely not worth us trying to pretend we do. But what we can do, is acknowledge this reality and choose to make our in between seasons exciting. Maybe you're working towards a degree or you're training in a new job and although you know it's what you chose, you can't stop asking yourself, "what's the purpose"? It's easy to get down when you can see where you want to go, but you're just not quite there yet. Well in this episode, I'll be sharing with you how I've embraced the mundane in these seasons of waiting and what you can do to find joy in your regular day-to-day life.
Let's Connect: https://www.instagram.com/alyssataylorharper/
In this weeks episode, we're talking about finding and building healthy friendships. Maybe you feel like a loner; maybe you have friends but don't have deep and meaningful connections with them; or maybe you have plenty of friends but there's always drama. No matter where you're at, there is something in this episode for you. We talk: love languages, communication, finding new connections, getting confidence/navigating social anxiety and more. We all need connection, we all need community.
Let's chat: https://www.instagram.com/alyssataylorharper/
There can be a lot of things that end up on our "one day" list. One day I'll start eating healthier, one day I'll start getting better sleep, one day I'll branch out and make new friends. But what if you could start today? What if all you are lacking is a little motivation? In this episode, we're talking about how to get motivated in the first place and how to STAY motivated long term, to see real growth in your life! I'll be sharing with you my personal tips, research I've come across on the topic and you'll finish the episode feeling prepared to implement some new strategies to become the you, YOU want to be!
Let's be BFF's: https://www.instagram.com/alyssataylorharper/
REF: https://www.inc.com/melissa-chu/want-to-become-luckier-heres-what-you-need-to-do-a.html https://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/19-simple-ways-to-stay-motivated-that-actually-work.html https://open.spotify.com/episode/6fgAELu2GjyNwoq6mJfRmm?si=mXOOjc5jQvWhA8OoKpKQFw
This episode is very special as my husband, Sam, and I answer all of the questions you guys sent through on Instagram! We talk about what it was like getting married young, why we did it and what we've learned from couples counselling (fighting fair, appreciating our differences, self growth within a relationship, giving a good apology & more)! We've found amazing tools and created really great habits in our communication that we wish were shared with us long ago, so, listen for these and see if you can apply them in any of your relationships! Enjoy this fun chat x
Alyssa's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alyssataylorharper/ Sam's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samueloliverharper/ Apology Formula & Other Relationship Resources: https://www.gottman.com/
In this weeks episode, I share about my experience of moving from Niagara, Canada to Sydney, Australia when I was 18 years old. I talk about the ups and downs since then, how it was possible logistically and how you can make it happen too if it's something you want to do. You'll hear all about why it's an amazing experience but also why it requires a lot of sacrifice. You also learn a lot more about my life behind the scenes and get some context as to where I'm coming from!
Let's Connect: https://www.instagram.com/alyssataylorharper/
Is your sex life rough... but like, not in a good way? Well, you're in the right place. Because this episode is all about why penetration might be painful for you and what you can do about it. Yes, that's right. There are definitely things you can do to change this. Penetration problems can be caused by all sorts of things and in this podcast, you'll learn about what might be the cause AND how you can actually go about fixing this. Don't put up with painful sex anymore!
References: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/painful-intercourse/symptoms-causes/syc-20375967 https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/womens-sexual-health-when-being-intimate-hurts "The Pleasure is Ours", The Goop Lab with Gwyneth Paltrow, Netflix
Let's Connect: https://www.instagram.com/alyssataylorharper/
You might be wondering: what is my "gut"? Why should I care about it? Or maybe even: How can I heal it? Could mood disorders, like anxiety, be caused by my gut? In this episode, all of these questions will be answered, and more! This is a huge subject to tackle and it can feel very confusing but worry not! You will finish this podcast feeling like you have a great understanding of this crucial part of your overall health and what steps you can actually take to move forward!
References: Michael Greger, MD; How Not to Die, book Daniel G. Amen, MD; The End of Mental Illness, book Will Bulsiewicz, MD, MCSI or "Dr. B", Instagram Content + Podcast Features
Let's Connect : https://www.instagram.com/alyssataylorharper/
What's gonna happen in the future? What are people saying about me? Why did I say that? ━ Does this sound like you? You're not alone. By the end of this podcast, you can expect to feel substantially more equipped to work through these thoughts all on your own! We're chatting neuroplasticity, grounding your emotions, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy +PLUS+ a five step plan to use anytime you get stuck overthinking!
resources: The Anti-Anxiety Notebook: https://shop.therapynotebooks.com/ not sponsored or Google: "Feelings Wheel" & "Cognitive Distortions" to find more resources! instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alyssataylorharper/
You are what you eat - kinda! Want to lose weight? Gain weight? Feel better? Have clearer skin? Well, getting your diet right is crucial. In this episode, I'll be giving you 6 practical steps so you can start eating healthy and actually enjoy it. Look forward to hearing about how to "listen to your body", find balance, grocery shop and create a plan that works for you long term! instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alyssataylorharper/ REF: Dr. Daniel Amen, "The End of Mental Illness" Dr. Jolene Brighton, "Beyond The Pill" Dr. Michael Greger, "How Not to Die" The Anti-Anxiety Notebook
About half of the population has a period, so whether or not you do, you should care about it! In this episode, I chat through what I love and hate about pads, tampons, menstrual cups, period panties and more. You can look forward to learning something new as I answer some of your questions (asked over on instagram) and you'll also get to hear some ridiculous period-related stories from yours truly.
This is the sex talk we all need! In this episode, you'll learn about masturbation as I answer questions like - Should I use lube? What about toys? Should I watch porn? What if I don't like it? How do I handle sexual shame? and more! You'll hear the facts AND some of my personal experiences including what I've learned from them. Whether you're super comfortable with this topic or you HATE talking about sex - this episode is for you! Explore, be safe and have fun! x
Fight The New Drug - https://fightthenewdrug.org/ instagram: @alyssataylorharper
If you vape or smoke, you've probably tried to quit at least once. Whether it was for your mental health, physical health, lifestyle, finances or all of these combined - addiction sucks! I used nicotine for 3 years and about a year ago, I finally quit. In this episode, you'll hear, firstly - my story with vaping/trying to quit/being in denial that I was addicted/etc. and secondly - seven tips on HOW to quit for GOOD! If you get these seven things down, you will have a much easier time quitting! I believe in you; you can do this xx Ripple Vapes: https://www.therippleco.com/ "ASAP Science on YouTube" instagram: @alyssataylorharper
Diet culture affects all of us. In this episode, I'll be sharing about my past struggle with an eating disorder and all of the steps I took to find food freedom! If you're interested in what intuitive eating actually is (it's not as complicated as it seems) and how it can fit into your life - this episode is for you! You deserve a guilt-free relationship with food that tastes amazing AND makes you feel good so let's explore that together.
In this episode, we'll be chatting all things birth control pill: what they don't tell you, how it works, how to come off, how your body might change, how birth control plays a role in feminism and more! I came off of the pill about a year ago and I am so thankful that I did. I hope this episode leaves you feeling empowered to do whatever feels right for you!
REF: Dr. Jolene Brighten, Beyond the Pill, Book Samantha Gladdish, Healthy Hormones for Women, Podcast Sarah E. Hill, The Surprising Link Between Women's Brains and The Birth Control Pill, Ted Talk Flo App, Menstrual Cycle Tracking App