Parenting in a Pandemic: Recent Episodes
Becoming Mums
Parenting is hard. Parenting in a Pandemic is harder. Join Fi & Liz as they discuss everything mother related in their new Podcast - Parenting in a Pandemic. In our first weeks' discussion we explore why we started our support group in 2017, what we've learned and how this has changed as a consequence of Covid-19. We lead, peer to peer support that is non judgmental, honest and about you. The you that is tired, fed up and wishing your days away whilst grateful for the moments you have. We hear you and we are here for you.
In the final episode of Parenting in a Pandemic, Liz and Fi discuss life resembling something of what it was and how we piece things back together, whilst living alongside Covid-19.
Joined by guest and GP, Anjalee, we discuss what it means for our children at school and what's on the horizon for the next few years. How do we prioritise our own mental health whilst parenting and how to educate our family about vaccines and the importance of maintaining good hygiene.
We reflect on the guests that we've had on and what they've brought to the series and we discuss our next upcoming project, creative writing and embroidery workshops that enable women to reflect, discuss and create whilst navigating the journey of motherhood.
You can find more information at www.maternaljournal.org and www.becomingmums.com or by visiting our Facebook & Instagram pages @becomingmums.
In a recent study, (Invisible Household Labor and Ramifications for Adjustment: Mothers as Captains of Households) published Tuesday in the journal Sex Roles, the paper offers original data to illustrate the widespread phenomenon of invisible labour — and its depressing impact on women's emotional and psychological well-being.
"Do [mothers] disproportionately feel like they're running their ship on their own?" said Suniya S. Luthar, co-author of the study and foundation professor of psychology at Arizona State University. "Just putting a number to that alone is a service to womankind."
Based on Luthar's survey of 393 American married or partnered mothers, many of whom were upper middle-class, the answer to her question is a resounding yes. Nearly 90 percent of the participants said they bore sole responsibility for organising their family's schedules. Seventy percent said they were "captain" of their ship and routinely completed and assigned household tasks. That includes the everyday drudgery of getting birthday party accessories, finding someone's socks, or coordinating lifts to and from activities. Or as Luthar puts it: "All that nonsense that keeps churning around in our heads all the time."
So this week we talk about what it is, why we find it challenging and how we go about changing it - for the sake of ourselves and our children.
A lot has happened during the last year, and Covid has been only one of these landscape changing events. The murder of George Floyd triggered a surge in dialogue about racism and disabled people in England found themselves forced to sign do not resuscitate orders when admitted to hospital.
We speak to Nada, a powerhouse of a community campaigner, about Black Lives Matter, social justice, young people and activism and how she navigated all these conversations with her own family. Experiencing war and dictatorship in Iraq as a child, she sees the vital importance of democracy and our right to protest.
Disabled People Against Cuts
Www.dpac.net.uk
Reading BAME Facebook group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1923692757889680/?ref=share
blacklivesmatter #killthebill
Last year saw a dramatic increase of couples seeking therapy as a consequence of new strains on relationships with psychologists and relationship experts suggested that the pandemic has no doubt made people reconsider their relationships, especially as quarantine began to highlight longstanding issues.
This week we talk to Lisa Bruton, a psychotherapist for individuals, families and couples to discuss why it's been so much harder to keep things healthy and how we can ensure that we look after ourselves so we can look after our children.
If you feel you'd benefit from any of the issues discussed you can contact Lisa at mail@lisabruton.com or visit www.mind.org.uk for strategies and suggestions on balance, perspective and understanding.
In this weeks episode, we talk to Roz Ward; Safe Schools Coalition (Australia) co-founder & LGBTI activist based in Melbourne.
We discuss the journey of Safe Schools, why it was founded and the issues it's faced - from Government backlash to personal attack and how it's shaped the education system in Australia.
Fi & Liz discuss how it's impacted her personally now she's a parent and her hopes for the future for the LGBTI community and society as a whole.
This week, Liz & Fi talk with Jen; a languages teacher, artist & creator who Emigrated to Switzerland during 2020. We discuss moving in a pandemic, whilst pregnant with her third child, and starting over - the cultural differences, the importance of connections & language exposure.
Jen and her family live in Zurich, Switzerland having moved from Bristol in 2020. We cover the unexpected, the planned and leaving life to fate when a pandemic has other ideas as well as how to find time for yourself when life can get beyond chaotic.
The cost of childcare in Britain has risen 5 per cent in the last 12 months according to a report by Coram Family and Childcare Trust, which produces a comprehensive annual survey of the industry. The spiralling cost is now double the rate of inflation and families are on average paying £131.61 a week or just over £6,800 a year for a part-time nursery place (25 hours a week).
Liz and Fi discuss how childcare costs are crippling families, contributing to household poverty and affecting the economy. Pregnant Then Screwed say '46% of mothers being made redundant blame a lack of childcare provision during the Covid-19 pandemic...This lack of childcare is destroying women’s careers, they are being made redundant, they are being forced to cut their hours, and they are being treated negatively all because they are picking up the unpaid labour'.
You can sign the petition here or visit Pregnant Then Screwed for more info on how to help the change.
Trigger warning Domestic Violence/Domestic Abuse/Coercive Control/Sexual Violence/Rape
Every 30 seconds the police receive a call for help relating to domestic abuse with 1 woman in 4 experiencing domestic abuse over the course of her lifetime.
2020 was challenging for many people, but for those suffering from domestic abuse, life became more isolated than ever before.
ONS reported in November 2020 that ‘There has generally been an increase in demand for domestic abuse victim services during the coronavirus pandemic, particularly affecting helplines as lockdown measures eased; this does not necessarily indicate an increase in the number of victims, but perhaps an increase in the severity of abuse being experienced, and a lack of available coping mechanisms such as the ability to leave the home to escape the abuse, or attend counselling’.
We talk with Andrea , CEO of Berkshire Women’s Aid about the challenges they faced when Covid-19 disabled their most important lines of communication, how they adapted and the issues they faced along the way.
We discuss the signs, the help and where to go for those living with domestic abuse.
You can find more information below;
Berkshire Womens Aid
http://www.berkshirewomensaid.org.uk
0118 950 4003
Refuge
https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/en
0808 2000 247
Solace
https://www.solacewomensaid.org
0808 802 5565
Womens Aid
https://www.womensaid.org.uk
This week, Liz & Fi talk with Shona - a mother of two small children, marketing graduate and founder of Berkshire Mummies; a lifestyle, family outdoor venturing hub and creative space for everything in and around Berkshire designed for parents, grandparents and carers. She is passionate creating a community designed to support & inspire others to get outside and make memories.
We talk about her enthusiasm behind the brand, the challenges that Covid brought her and her vision for the future. How the pandemic changed her outlook, how she helped others and how feedback is fundamental to her growth & inspiration.
You can find Berkshire Mummies on Instagram, Facebook & at www.berkshiremummies.co.uk for more information.
For many of us, 2020 was a year of bubbles, zoom & online food shopping, but what about those who weren't able or didn't want to open up the doors any more than was possible.
Government guidelines strongly advised that clinically extremely vulnerable people should have stayed at home at all times, apart from going out to exercise or attend a medical appointment - but what was the reality of that for a young family?
We talk to Lucy, who shielded for most of 2020 to protect her family, especially her partner, who was clinically vulnerable. We discuss how she managed with her two young children with her partner working from home and no childcare; what implications there were financially for her family and how she is today.
This week, for the series finale, Liz & Fi read out your confessions! From the nightmare poo to the mental load, we talk about the things you've told us and why sometimes you feel it's hard to say out loud.
We talk about the hilarious moments that take parents by surprise; explosive nappies, secret poos, animal stampedes (!) and the intensely hard newborn days. We also chat about the things we weren't expecting to be so hard, how we managed and how we feel when we see others embarking on starting a family.
Join us for this series final episode before we return in May for series 2!
Amongst a multitude of cancellations in 2020, hybrid e-learning and zoom calls - antenatal, newborn & toddlers classes that had previously met in person found themselves on screen and for some part, temporarily abandoned.
For parents it meant keeping little ones entertained by way of a screen and for the organisers it meant new equipment, rapid learning and fast skill set expansion.
But what did it mean for everyone? Were online classes able to provide the same stimulation and support? Erratic internet connections and low boredom thresholds for screen time proved a hurdle for some and to occupy others. We talk about the pitfalls and benefits of online classes with Lou Fox Potter from The Mummas Village about what it meant for our mental health, finances, routines & day to day interactions for our children and for us.
Where do classes go from here and can they get back to what they were before?
You can find The Mummas Village online via their website and on their Instagram & Facebook pages.
Covid-19 has been a challenge in so many ways but particularly for those facing birth. We talk to Reading Maternity Voices about the issues faced by women and their birth partners during the pandemic; scans, appointments, birth plans and how they were able to resolve and mediate an emotionally turbulent time.
Emma joins Liz & Fi to talk about who Reading Maternity Voices are, the gap that they fill and how important it is to have someone on your side, asking the questions and supporting you through the unknown. We explore how feedback is essential to the growth of hospital maternity care and how to add yours.
You can find them at http://readingmaternityvoices.org.uk or via their Facebook page for more information on help, feedback and volunteering.
Being a single parent can be hard work and a lot to juggle without a pandemic thrown into the mix, but it can also be liberating and freeing.
We are joined by solo mum of one & University lecturer, Beth who discusses the emotions, practicalities, benefits, and downsides and how to let go and live in a world where enough is really enough. We discuss pizza at Christmas, dealing with late night plumbers and looking after yourself.
For further information on support for single parent families, go to Gingerbread, Citizens Advice and Care For The Family for advice and help.
What is it you'd wish you'd gotten after the birth of your baby? Food? An empty wash basket? Reassurance? A clean kitchen?
This week Liz & Fi talk through the heady newborn times and what we wished we'd asked for. Offers of popping over can sometimes be met with anxiety, sleep deprivation or feeding problems and despite well-intentioned offers of help, we'd often choose to decline them for fear of putting friends and family out of their way.
We discuss why we find it so hard to accept help, cultural barriers and how we can accept help without feeling guilty.
We chat about our new 'Practical Pampering' voucher - a gift that keeps on giving and takes the awkwardness out of asking for something that you need. It enables you to ask without having the awkward conversation and them to give you something you really need! You can find the voucher at www.becomingmums.com or via our Instagram & Facebook Pages.
This week, Liz & Fi talk to Kayleigh from Sport in Mind - the UK’s leading mental health sports charity that deliver 'physical activity (sport, walking, dance and movement, gardening and exercise sessions) projects in partnership with the amazing NHS in order to aid recovery, promote mental wellbeing, improve physical health, combat social isolation and empower people to move their lives forward in a positive direction'.We discuss the benefits of exercise and mental health and how and why we, as busy parents, can incorporate a little movement into our daily lives.
We talk disastrous classes, the ethos behind Sport in Mind, Red January and finding the right exercise for us whether its walking, team sports, dance or individual endeavours and how we can find manageable chunks in our day to slot them in. Without the children. We've all seen yoga with infants, it's a lot of hair pulling & strategic snacks.
You can find more from Sport in Mind at https://www.sportinmind.org/aboutus or via their social media pages.
This week, Liz & Fi discuss some of the stories that were sent in during the first lockdown of 2020. We talk about the varying experiences and quality of care, the challenges they faced, and how they are now.
Becoming Mums received over 20 stories, of which 10 were featured across our 3 month piece and all of them told a different account of what it meant to 'Parent in a Pandemic'.
We hear from 3 women who experienced a range of emotions concerning birth, becoming a new parent and homeschooling and what it meant during the time of Covid-19. The stories are read by actors to protect the womens' identities.
You can read all the stories at www.becomingmums.com or via our Facebook & Instagram pages.
This week we discuss all things anxiety with Joanna Maher, Trainee Clinical Psychologist at The Oxford Institute of Clinical Psychology Training and Research of Oxford University and her ongoing research surrounding new mums and babies between 10-12 weeks.
Many people are aware that you can become depressed after having a baby. But lots of mothers also experience anxiety during pregnancy and after giving birth. In fact, it is common to experience depression and anxiety together.
We discuss why it's not so well known, signs to watch out for and why and how we can tackle it as individuals and as peers.
For further details about the study and to take part please follow the link below:
https://psychiatryoxford.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_37YBWx0ayaIhNnD or follow us at Becoming Mums via our Facebook & Instagram page or via www.becomingmums.com.
Liz & Fi discuss the last year for parents. How we've journeyed through 2020 and where we find ourselves now. With lockdown looking to ease in the coming months how have we found the most recent restrictions and how have they affected parents with young children?
We explore the figures from ONS around isolation & anxiety and the absence of classes to help pass the time. How did Parenting in a Pandemic start and why we decided to bring it to podcast life? How has homeschooling co-existed alongside working and what we hope the summer will bring.
Join us for laughs and exasperations as we discuss all the highs and lows of Covid-19 and it's continued implications.
Parenting is hard. Parenting in a Pandemic is harder.
Join Fi & Liz as they discuss everything mother related in their new Podcast - Parenting in a Pandemic.
In our first weeks' discussion we explore why we started our support group in 2017, what we've learned and how this has changed as a consequence of Covid-19.
We lead, peer to peer support that is non judgmental and here for you. The you that is tired, fed up and wishing your days away whilst grateful for the moments you have. We hear you and we are here for you.