Enneagram 8 - Subtype 1-to-1: Recent Episodes
Evelyn Olivares
Enneagram 8 One-to-One (or Sexual instincts) are focused on individual relationships, prompting a person to soak up energy from a select few people in their lives. Courting, bonding and intimate contact are at the forefront of these connections, to differing effect depending on the person’s other attributes
Home, The Castle Defender
The Castle Defender rules a roost of their own definition, whether that be their body and mind, or their physical location and family.
They either form a strong attachment to their home and may hoard resources to reinforce their sense of safety; or, they give up their roots altogether and opt to roam free. The latter finds security in the knowledge that they can provide for themselves, and are free to flee danger at a moment’s notice.
In either case, this subtype is likely to become pre-occupied with guarding what they have and gathering the things they need.
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Symbols, The Professor
The Professor might seem snobbish to an outsider, but in reality they are not concerned with other people’s intellectual credentials. They do, however, approach their life through the lens of their expertise. At their heart is a pure yearning for knowledge in their chosen field which can render them unapproachable to those without the same level of experience.
If those around them don’t share their interests, they may become disengaged. This limits their social circles and can restrict their real-world experience to a narrow range.
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Confidentiality, The Secret Agent
The Secret Agent plays their emotions close to their chest. Information is their social currency, and they bond with others through dispensing inner thoughts and secrets.
They see divulgence as an ultimate form of trust, but sometimes over-inflate the value of their inner world. This can lead them to feel aloof or isolated from their loved ones; or resentful of those with whom they shared ‘too many’ feelings.
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Zeal – Jealous
This subtype is most concerned with converting others to their way of thinking and behaving. This is born from an underlying insecurity that others are more ‘free’ and in touch with their self-expression than they are.
The Evangelist’s self-worth is bolstered by their ability to hold a partner’s attention. This comes with a strength in being present and attentive. However, their attentiveness can boil over into controlling behaviour if they perceive their partner’s attention slipping.
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Shame/Honour, the Critical Commentator
This subtype is a sponge for the social energy around them. If tension arises in their social group, they’re likely to feel guilty even when it’s not their fault.
Their heightened awareness of social dynamics makes them very observant, but also likely to compare themselves to others in an unfavourable light. Sometimes, they wish they could skip social settings altogether to avoid the emotional exhaustion, but their fear of missing out usually wins over.
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Appetite, The Collector
This subtype is excellent at building a safe-haven, and can organise their life into a manageable and realistic routine.
What they call ‘home comforts’, their friends might lovingly call ‘stuck in a rut’. The Collector relies heavily on things which enhance their feelings of safety, including habitual eating and repetitive activities.
They might shy away from reaching new heights in their career, or making big life changes because they’re comfortable where they are.
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Dauntlessness, The Creative Individualist
A Creative Individualist is caught in a balancing act between their unconventional personal goals and the forms of material security which would bring them greater safety.
Their yearning to take the artistic and original route is strong, causing them to spend much of their time tossing up the risk of instability with the reward of following their dreams. This high tension causes them to develop an apathetic outward outlook to mask their internal frustrations.
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Friendship - The Group Leader
This subtype might seem boisterous and aggressive to those outside their circle of friends, but within the group they are a respected and trusted leader. Those around them value them for their fearlessness in the face of conflict, and their confidence to follow through on promises.
Their main priority is to look out for their team. This makes them a strong leader, but one who may ignore personal prospects like a new job, or a romantic relationship, if it threatens the integrity of the group.
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Satisfactory Survival, The Survivalist
Practicality and efficiency are the cornerstones of this subtype’s mindset and they use these attributes to fiercely defend their turf. They fully understand the steps required for any task they engage with, and they expect others to do the same.
The Survivalist can begin to panic if things aren’t falling into place quickly enough, and they will be bluntly straightforward in making things move faster.
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Possession - The Commander
The Commander isn’t afraid to raise their voice, and advocate for themselves. Their outspoken nature is magnetic, and gives rise to close, intense relationships from which The Commander draws a great deal of power.
Often caught up in ‘whirlwind’ affairs, what they may intend as passionate and protective tendencies can tumble into overbearing possessiveness.
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Worry – Anxiety
This subtype perceives their self worth in terms of their abilities. They are diligent and hardworking, but because of their high standards they often feel that they are falling short of their own expectations.
This simmering pressure causes high levels of anxiety, which The Pioneer tries to mediate through endless preparation. Despite their inner turmoil, they keep their emotions tightly guarded and as a result might seem withdrawn.
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Non Adaptability – Social Reformer
Social Reformers feel comfortable when they abide by a rigid set of rules, and they expect others to do the same. They are often principled and impressive, but also inflexible. Change can be really difficult for this subtype, as they have to carve out a new set of rules to adhere to.
Their confidence in their beliefs and methods may cause them to feel that they have a responsibility to guide others. In doing so, they must take care to avoid condescension, since they might secretly look down on those who see things differently.
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Worry - Anxiety
This subtype perceives their self worth in terms of their abilities. They are diligent and hardworking, but because of their high standards they often feel that they are falling short of their own expectations.
This simmering pressure causes high levels of anxiety, which The Pioneer tries to mediate through endless preparation. Despite their inner turmoil, they keep their emotions tightly guarded and as a result might seem withdrawn.
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Security - The Company Person
The Company Person prioritises a sparkling appearance, material possessions, and high-flying lifestyle. They can withstand tough conditions if it brings them the financial rewards they need to feel they have control of their life.
They are usually excellent achievers, but they must be careful that their achievements don’t raise their sights too high. Each success can send this subtype reaching for an ever-moving goalpost at the expense of their health, relationships and other interests.
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Femininity/Masculinity, The Movie Star
This subtype might often be called a ‘people pleaser’. Being admired by those around them is extremely important. They derive a sense of power from their attractiveness to others. With a sharp focus on their femininity or masculinity, they can become distanced from the true essence of their sexuality.
The Movie Star finds it difficult to escape the need to perform, even when around those they love.
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Prestige - The Politician
This subtype is practiced at manicuring their image to make sure they strike the right chords and rise the ranks in their social circle. They make contacts not out of love or friendship, but based on the value a person can offer them.
Others look up to them from afar, but lose interest once the shiny exterior wares thin.
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Participation - The Community Benefactor
The Community Benefactor is a social butterfly. They might be described as ‘fun loving’. They’re easy to communicate with and can adapt well to almost any situation.
In more serious times, this subtype might become uncomfortable. They want to help others, but mostly know how to form connections through light, casual interaction. As a result their underlying emotional state can sometimes go un-cared-for and they might have emotional blocks when faced with difficult decisions
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Union - The Seeker
This subtype derives a great deal of their persona from their current surroundings. They go through many distinct and varied phases in their life as they embed themselves into new circumstances.
When alone, they are driven by listlessness, and they form close attachments to other people and things in order to feel ‘whole’. They dedicate themselves deeply, but when they move on, they distance themselves completely from their past; usually replacing the old with something new.
The phases of The Seeker’s life may be underpinned by an enduring disassociation with their sense of self since they, unintentionally, take on the thoughts and feelings of others rather than developing their own.
The Questioner - Warmth - The family loyalist
This subtype is a home-body. They are often reluctant to move away from home and feel a strong sense of responsibility towards their siblings, parents or caregivers. They feed off familial warmth and prioritise their place within the family as their central mode of connection. Without the comfort of a centralised family unit, this subtype can become reserved and fearful.
Friends or new romantic partners can often find it difficult to get close to The Family Loyalist, as their goals and desires are so thoroughly entwined with those of their innermost circle.
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The Questioner - Duty - The Social Guardian
The main prerogative of this subtype is to fit in with their social circle. Whatever their friends are wearing, you can be sure The Social Guardian is wearing it, too. They carve out a clear role for themselves, like the ‘mum of the group’ or ‘the quirky one’. This way, they know what is expected of them and they perform that role flawlessly.
Despite their enduring presence amongst their friends and family, they might secretly fear that they do not belong. They feel that those around them interact effortlessly, whereas their role is a construction which they work hard to maintain.
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Strength or Beauty - The Warrior
The Warrior handles their insecurities by building up a strong exterior which, over time, they might forget is there. They feel a need to appear unwavering, whether this be in their physical strength, their mental convictions, or their outward appearance.
The long-standing nature of their ‘hard shell’ makes it very difficult for others to crack. They may feel incapable of dismantling their own defences even if they wanted to.
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The Questioner, Social Visionary is willing to put the time and effort into projects which they believe will better their corner of society. Great with charity work and community outreach, this subtype is an active participant in their social circle with concrete ideas about things they think could improve.
The zeal for those around them can sometimes leave them burnt-out. They sacrifice too many of their needs and then feel guilty when they need to take a break.
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Family - The Gormand
The Gourmand must keep themselves busy at all times. They thrive in a domestic and community setting where they’re able to frequently plan and host social events. Pouring so much attention into activities, this subtype might struggle to be on their own, and to nurture the connections they’re continually making. This might lead them to cycle through social groups rather than maintain a strong ‘inner circle’.
Enneagram 7 Subtype 1:1
Suggestibility. The Adventurer
This subtype might better be titled ‘the golden retriever’. They are friendly, outgoing, and often chasing after a world which doesn’t quite exist. Their optimism is a motivating force in their life, but it can also make them flighty.
They may well get distracted by a new adventure before they have a chance to bring their ideal world, or even their existing relationships, to fruition.
Privilege - The Nurturer Subtype Self Preservation
This subtype feels most satisfied when they are giving out attention, care and affection to others. They’re great at making those around them feel special. However, they are not always selective about who receives their support.
This can lead The Nurturer to feel aggrieved when others do not reciprocate to the same degree, which can result in an entitled or disingenuous attitude.
Enneagram 2 The Nurturer Subtype SOCIAL
Ambition - The Ambassador
The Ambassador uses social approval as a means to measure their success. They are great at making contacts using a warm and empathetic demeanour. This makes them politically powerful at work, at community events, or in a PTA.
They do genuinely enjoy interacting with their sprawling social network, but they may sometimes struggle to move beyond a superficial connection with those around them.
Sound familiar?
E2 - The Nurturer Subtype 1:1 - Aggression - Seduction - The Lover
People in this subtype form attachments assertively, seeking what they want in a direct and persistent way. They are constantly chasing reciprocal attention and renewed validation from a partner. Depending on the individual, this can present itself in a seductive or aggressive way.
The Lover tends to foster close, but sometimes co-dependent relationships.
Enneagram 8 Subtype social instinct might seem self-involved, but it does not necessarily exclude others. Self-Preservation instincts are all about protecting one’s ability to survive. This includes guarding a sense of safety as it relates to the family, home, or resources
Enneagram 8 SOCIAL is someone who relies mostly on their social instincts, it means their place in a social network is of great importance to them. They are driven by dreams of acceptance, adoration or belonging, and are primed with a sharp awareness of group dynamics. Sound familiar?
Are you highly competitive? Does standing up and rising to the challenge each and every day resonate with you - Are you Confident - Driven - Solid - Passionate - Courageous? If so, then the Enneagram 8 Archetype might be part of your identity.
There are 3 variants or, subtypes to the Enneagram 8 The Protector aka The Knight
- Self Preservation - 2. Social - 3. One-to-One
The behaviour of each variant differs and plays out as survival instincts.
This short podcast explains the Enneagram 8 subtype One-to-One (or sexual subtype)
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