East Reads West Literature Podcast: Recent Episodes
Nils von Below & Anne Hardy
A wonderful story about the passion for medicine and empathy for the patient. And a family story of two generations of doctors in Ethopia.
"Clean language" is a non-judgmental questioning technique designed to help patients tap into unconscious knowledge.
Having a schizophrenic brother is hard for his twin Dominik. As long as he can think, he feels responsible for Thomas. He fears that the illness could break out in him, too. And he has feelings of anger and guilt because he longs for a completely "normal" life.
The twins Dominik and Thomas grow up with their mother and stepfather in Connecticut. Thomas, the narrator's schizophrenic brother, attracts attention at the beginning of the story with a drastic act: in protest against America's entry into the Gulf War, he cuts off one of his hands in the local public library. Domenik, who has felt responsible for his brother for as long as he can remember, is on the edge of his strength. For more than six months he fights to get his schizophrenic brother out of the forensic psychiatrie. There he meets Dr. Patel, an Indian psychiatrist.
For Nils, Dr. Patel is the model of a good therapist. She accompanies her patients with equanimity, humor and wisdom. She quickly understands that not only her schizophrenic patient Thomas "got lost in the woods", but also his brother. In flashback, the reader learns the family's history. There is the Italian grandfather who has worked his way up in America. Dominik's and Thomas' relationship with his mother and stepfather comes up. The mystery of the unknown father. And Dominik's failed marriage.
Wally Lamb convincingly tells the story of Dominik's anger and despair. Of his feelings of guilt and overwhelming responsibility. Of his desire to be strong, which cuts him off from feeling grief and loss. It is a story full of strong emotions. With all the ups and downs of real life. And a story of healing. Of becoming whole. Because in the end Dominik, like the hero in the fairy tale, finds his true identity.
About Wally Lamb
Wally Lamb is an author who write about difficult subjects with great humanity and warmth. He helps women in prison to come to terms with their history through writing. His book has recently been turned into a mowie. More on the cast of "I know this much is True" in the CNN-interview: The Truth within the story.
An important discovery: Patients often make first changes before their first therapy session. In "Change Your Life", Michelle Weiner-Davis explains how we can support this departure in a sustainable way. Her solution focussed brief therapy (sfbt) is inspired by psychiatrist Milton Erickson. He applied hypnotherapy in brief therapy. His case histories invite readers to be creative.
Weiner-Davis book is very practical. In order to help her patients solve problems she uses a variety of questions: What have you noticed about your situation? If something has changed: Is this the kind of change you would like to continue to have happen? Notice what works and do more of it. When the same problem keeps coming up over and over in your life: Go beyond more of the same and do something different. Or - most important for therapists with a tendency to be a "hyperactive problem-solver": Do nothing. Execpt for taking a deep breath.
Trance in brief therapy
Milton Erickson, born in 1901, became best known for his work on hypnosis. Unlike Freud, he developed an individualized approach for every patient. For him "trance" is a state that everyone has experienced: daydreaming, meditating, or jogging (meditation in motion). These are situations in which one is aware of the vividness of inner mental and sensory experiences. The trance is intended to enable the patient to mobilize unconscious self-healing powers and to use creative resources. And Erickson assists them in breaking out of their mental patterns and crossing boundaries.
Both authors rely on the fact that the patient knows the way out of the crisis. Brief therapy with or without hypnosis gives them the bit of skilful support needed. They work in a solution-oriented way and do not waste much time looking for the causes of problems in childhood. In our podcast we appreciate this approach but we also recommend Tara Brach's "Radical Compassion" in order to deal with painful memories from the past.
Links:
Michelle Weiner-Davis became known for her sequel Divorce busting.
Tom Butler-Bowdon on Milton Erickson in Psychology Classics.
Finding out that your partner has an affair, is experiencing "death by a thousand stabs". This is why Esther Perel takes time to discuss the crisis and the consequences of the betrayal. The feelings of revenge and self-reproach. And the question of whether it is better to confess an affair or to keep it to yourself.
Then she turns to the question: Why did one partner break out of the relationship? Often an affair is the result of an existing problem. But infidelity can occur even when there are no serious relationship problems. Esther Perel's answers are particularly interesting because we can learn how to reduce the probability of infidelity.
We admire Esther Perel because she is not moralizing even though she has a clear moral compass. She helps us to understand all parties involved in affairs. And she recommends: to have a happy, erotically fulfilling relationship, you should adopt strategies from the script of the affair. Such as feeling that you can't quite posess the other person or crossing boundaries together.
Learning from crisis or an affair
Jorge Bucay, a psychiatrist from Argentina, focuses on the question: What can you learn about yourself in a partnership, especially from crisis? As an entertainer and storyteller, Bucay embeds his teachings in a frame story. Protagonist Roberto is in a relationship crisis when one day he receives emails from Laura, which are not addressed to him, but to her colleague Freddie. At first Roberto ignores these emails, but after a few days he decides to tell Laura that he is the wrong addressee. Opening the first email he finds a description of his own situation. Apparently, Laura is a psychologist. Roberto hopes to find a solution in further emails, so he decides not to inform Laura for the time being. But when Laura gets angry because of Freddie's silence and announces that she will not continue writing their joint book about couple relationships, Roberto assumes Freddie's identity.
This is a wonderful book to recommend to patients. It is entertaining and at the same time contains some deep pearls of wisdom. Such as: When we feel unlovable, we wish on the one hand that our partner would make us feel better by loving us. On the other hand, we fear that we do not deserve his love. So Bucay encourages us: Learn to master your own life without expecting the partner to do it for you. And, vice versa, you don't have to solve your partner's problems either.
And finally: The true power of love lies in the fact that it shows us - also through conflicts - where and how we must change to become more human. Because the great closeness of the bond in mariage or couple shows us our worst and our best qualities.
Links
Esther Perel's Website
Mehr zu den Büchern von Jorge Bucay bei Perlentaucher. D
How can we heal old wounds? Free ourselves from the inner critic who constantly nags at us? Overcome the feeling of being unworthy or unlovable? For Tara Brach and Christ Germer, the answer is self-compassion - something that many people in a performance-oriented and self-optimizing society have forgotten or never even heard about.
American meditation teacher and psychologist Tara Brach has developed an exercise based on mindfulness and self-compassion. In her book "Radical Compassion“ she describes the four steps of the RAIN technique. It helps you to recognise unpleasant feelings, allow them to be there, investigate what the most vulnerable part in you needs and nourishing it. If you feel you need help from a spiritual teacher, a deity, a benefactor or even your pet, you can also bring that in.
Self-care in everyday life
We often recommend this book to our patients because it shows them how to take good care of themselves. It teaches them to become more and more sensitive to unpleasant fellings and helps them, when they are feeling stuck. On an everyday basis they can practise not to run away from anxiety, fear, anger and grief, but to allow them fully to be there. And then to investigate what that wpunded part needs to heal.Psychologist Chris Germer takes a similar approach, drawing on the Buddhist practice of "metta meditation" (loving kindness). Here, too, mindfulness of one's own and others' emotions is the first step toward healing. The method helps to develop self-compassion and explains, why it is not egoistic to attend to your own feelings. Starting from this, it becomes easier to heal relationships with close people. Later, "neutral" and „difficult“ people are also included.Chris Germer belongs to the circle of scientists around brain researcher Richard Davidson. The latter studies the effect of meditation practices on the brain and the psyche. Germer's book approaches the subject of self-compassion from a more scientific point of view. He includes study results in information boxes. The book is lightened up with cartoons.
Links:
Guided meditations by Chris Germer (englisch): https://chrisgermer.com/meditations/
Guided RAIN-meditations by Tara Brach (englisch): https://www.tarabrach.com/rain/
Desiderata is a declaration of love for life. A compass that keeps us on course. Also and especially over a long professional life as therapists.
In our first episode we give several answers to this question.
As practionners of Chinese Medicine, we take a look at the person on the physical and emotional level. And we also consider their relationships and social context. Very much in accord with the WHO definition of Health:
"Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity."
If we want to help people to be healthy in this broad sense, we cannot count only on the Classis of Chinese literature. They were written about 2000 years ago for people living in a different culture.
And there is another aspect
As TCM therapists and passionate readers we do not only bring specialist knowledge to our patients. We also count on our life experience and interessets. This is why we feel free to discuss literature in a broader sense, talking about books that have formed us as humans.