Midlight Crisis: Recent Episodes
Sophie, Sam, and Hannah
Three grown up biologists rereading books from our teens (while desperately trying to make biological sense of glittery vampires... and dragons).
And it’s totally cool.
Chapter 147 is inviting you to a feast that is totally not a trap for anyone! It’ll be great! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss their favourite fishes, under-the-radar winning strategies, and moth symbolism.
Chapter 146 is dying of a blood infection, but in a fun and flirtatious kind of way! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how much antihistamine you need to knock out your love interest, the Gamemakers' favourite romance tropes, and how much cheese is in a clove.
Chapter 145 is shook by the changes to the rules of the Podcast Games! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the frog chorus, cake decorating as a survival skill, and how to give a convincing performance of love.
Episode 144 dies in your arms and totally radicalizes you! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss their ecological beef with Suzanne Collins, bread, and how many Taylor Swift songs you can mention in a single episode of a podcast
An apple falls, and Chapter 143 blasts apart! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how hearing works, R-rated fantasy adaptations, and bottomless PMS hunger.
Inside you there are two wolves. One is reading the Hunger Games and the other one is listening to Chapter 142. Both of them want you to join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss Katniss and Rue’s friendship, goose propaganda, and how to confidently kill a buffalo.
We somehow managed to invoke Ryan Gosling twice in Chapter 141, neither time in a plot-relevant way, so please enjoy. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss inflatable bird t*tties, eating honeysuckle, and wasps, again.
Chapter 140 arrives in a tiny parachute, because it’s a gift from our sponsors! Just kidding, we don’t have sponsors. But Katniss does, so that’s nice. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss wasps, wasps, and… wasps.
Get your bets on Chapter 139 in now before it gets shot a crossbow! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss gambling on fixed games, what constitutes a medium-sized tree, and where you might find a skunk.
Hurry and listen to Chapter 138 before a hovercraft comes to take its, um, corpse away! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the number of dees in a chickadee call, drinking blood (but not in a vampire way), and whether or not you should ask your sponsor for popcorn.
Don’t step off your pedestal until you’re ready to listen to Chapter 137, or you’ll be blown up!! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss various cornucopiae, several distinct water-related topics, and the potential meanings of cannonfire.
Chapter 136 is waiting on the roof for one last night of freedom. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss sassy book Peeta, the Let Go Threshold, and get a little too involved nerding out over implantable trackers.
Strap on your heels and practice your fake smiles, and join Chapter 135 on the interview stage! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss healing workplace injuries as an adult, the horrifying canonical timeline for the first Hunger Games, and the best discontinued recipes of Newfoundland eateries.
Cue up your podcatcher and dunk your porkchop in your wine, because it’s time for Chapter 134! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss reality TV producer mentality, edible plants (for the biology), and get way too deep into the environmental regulations of Panem.
Well, folks, 2025 was a ride, wasn't it? Did anyone else have a full-blown Crisis, or was that just us? Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they reminisce over their 2025 Year In Books, including getting called out by their most read authors, nominating their annual superlatives, and accidentally inflating each others' TBRs.
Chapter 133 is coming to you with protein bars stuffed into all its pockets! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss why the Capitol is actually hell (facetious and sincere), how Katniss and Haymitch actually screwed up the iconic training scene, and tread extremely close to the line talking about how the Hunger Games is basically reality TV.
Chapter 132 is here and you're pretty sure you recognize it, except you don't because that's a crime! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the next big Capitol beauty gadgets that might also kill you instantly, goose liver classism, and, unfortunately, tongue stuff.
Jingle your bells, Hall your -mark, and get ready for the dystopia edition of Midlight Christmas! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they gender-swap a Russian folk tale, persistently try to avoid monsterf*cking, and kind of forget the entire plot (oops).
Get ready for... Jingle Ballet!
Chapter 131 is finally getting hot! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they argue over what latte means (again, because Hannah won't let it go), discuss why both Hunger Games tributes and Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron have eyebrows, and rant about walkable cities and public transport for rich people.
Chapter 130 is feeling a little claustrophobic on this train, how about you? Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they trauma-dump about bullying, discuss dandelions on multiple separate occasions, and nearly end their friendship over Sophie's accidental Star Wars reference.
Chapter 129 isn't sponsored by Hellmann's mayonnaise, but good lord it should be. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss Sophie's ardent love for baths, the incredible power of secondhand embarrassment, and do some unnecessary train math.
Chapter 128 volunteers as tribute! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the District culture, Capitol propaganda, and the iconic three-finger salute.
It’s Reaping Day in Chapter 127, may the odds be ever in its favour. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the bow and arrow fantasy girl, post-apocalypse North American fauna (domestic, feral, and wild, oh my!), and reveal which one of them has actually participated in a real life Hunger Games LARP.
Chapter 126 roars in with an earthquake, a volcanic eruption, and a civil war, because we’re talking about YA dystopia this time, folks! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they reflect on their feelings about Suzanne Collins’ blockbuster Hunger Games series, complain about love triangles (again, but now with symbolism!), and discuss the quality of book-to-movie adaptations.
Chapter 125 has a job and is from a place for the last time, because this is our final City of Bones episode! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss Downworlder biology, almost immediately break their promise not to talk about dicks THIS time, and finally announce what new book Midlight Crisis will be reading next!
Grab your stele and get ready to take some notes, because chapter 124 is the City of Bones biology episode! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how to attract a hip young crew to your church, forbidden Shadowhunter love, and how many jaws demons have (and which ones they use to smooch).
Chapter 123 is the City of Bones wrap-up episode! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how they feel about the book now that it’s finished, discover which one of them speed-read through the rest of the trilogy and also the movie and TV show MovieClips in the last two weeks, and figure out what secret third thing Jace is, finally.
Chapter 122 is here to ask you - What Would Jonathan Christ Do? Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss plot happening offscreen, how sleep and/or lack of romantic competition makes everyone nicer, and debate the existence of The Wand.
Chapter 121 is here, and its monologuing! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss werewolf booboos, biblically accurate brother kissing, and our lord and saviour Jacob Jonathan Christ, amen.
Chapter 120 has fallen in love with you but might be your brother? Boy do we ever hope not! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the boundary between gray morality and just being a Bad Guy, and a whole lot about lycanthropy, and discover some secrets about Valentine’s family.
SUMMARY: Chapter 119 is a whalewolf of a tale, folks! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss Jonathan Christ, several flavours of werewolf trauma, and a fun variety of things that align with the lunar cycle.
Podbean summary: Chapter 118 finally emerges into the daylight, freed at last from its cursèd existence! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss fantasy betrayal, SCUBA diving in Saskatchewan, and using your Flip PhoneⓇ to talk to your RealtorⓇ on an EscalatorⓇ.
Chapter 117 isn’t even the biggest reveal of this chapter! Whoa! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss germicidal irradiation via UVC, demon venom (NOT poison), and BETRAYAL!!
Chapter 116 is here to pick you up in your getaway van! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss magical lore corrections and addendums, paranormal Jennifer Coolidges, and hypothesize how much, like for real, Alec might die.
What if you and Chapter 115 met up in the greenhouse to make out? Haha just kidding… unless…? Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss teenage romance, flowers for fixing motion sickness, and learn which new pasta scenario will tear a friendship apart.
Chapter 114 is aggressively teenagery, unfortunately. Bear with it and join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss being gay in 2000s media, the consequences of severe sleep deprivation, and rat trauma.
Chapter 113 is here to sing a song and sharpen your knives, which is a real thing, I don’t care what Sophie says. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how prone different monsters are to sun evaporation, vampire lacquer, and if shapeshifters are always naked.
Chapter 112 comes to you from a secret cache under an altar, because luckily you can find this podcast anywhere there is holy ground! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss their very good media literacy skills, whether it's possible to be atheist in a fantasy novel, and the metaphysical properties of vampire dust.
Chapter 111 drank a fairy potion and things have gotten a little silly. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the hilarious fulfilment of one of their ongoing predictions, get immediately attached to the one millennial-coded adult character (who could have guessed) (Sam did), and have really big feelings about small rodents.
Chapter 110's been converted to run on demonic energy! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss various teenage love polygons, bellybutton magic, and, unfortunately, Tumblr Sexymen.
Today's episode isn't just a chapter, it's a whole dang synopsis! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they review their last year of reading, roast Sophie for unspeakable book choices, and talk about fanfiction way more than anyone expected.
Chapter 109 isn't in Australia, despite what Hannah might tell you. Or Velaris, despite what Sophie might tell you. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss Downworlder cuisine, fail once again to guess how Clary and Jace are related, and debate the merits of doing yoga on the New York City sidewalks.
Chapter 108 is a balmy seven degrees Celsius! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the easy descent into Hell/Bone City, talk about how your memories aren't repressed (they're just made up), and try to calculate how many Shadowhunters it takes to build a Bone City.
On the fifth year of Crisis, Sophie, Sam, and Hannah gave to meeee... Five! Movie! Scenes! Join us for our annual tradition as we mash together our YA fantasy novel of the year, a fairytale retelling, and a tangled web of secrets to bring you this year's hot-off-the-press holiday rom-com...
Alyssa's Holiday Adventures in Demon Sleighing!
You followed a magic cat and it led you right to Chapter 107! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss fairy grammar, the Shadowhunter reality TV crossover everybody (Sam) has been waiting for, and bonus archangels.
Chapter 106 is Still Not King. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss werewolf name determinism, whether it's cool to play Dungeons and Dragons, and secrets learned through Scooby Doo-esque hijinks.
Chapter 105 knows what bergamot is, thank you very much! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the ideal frequency for eating cucumbers, sexy vampires (again, for some reason, free us) and the magic of hybridization.
Chapter 104 is here, and like Clary, it slaps! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss if being not like the other girls makes you just like the other girls, biblically accurate radio, and angel swords.
Don't sleep through Chapter 103, there is important exposition here! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss teenage dreams (the sexy ones), the Angel Suffering Table, and how to baptize a Shadowhunter.
Don't look a gift Chapter 102 in the dark, yawning gap of its mouth! Instead, join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the stinging and smoochin' physiology of demons, how to make your cellphone holy, and a surprising connection with our previous reads.
Chapter 101 is heavily caffeinated at 10 pm, snaps for that. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss what The Youths get up to, Hannah's terrible knock-knock jokes, and the Shadowhunters' Magic Eye invisibility powers.
*According to Midlight Crisis
Chapter 100 is a big milestone, y'all! We're celebrating with a special episode, wherein we discuss our collective favourite and least favourite books, discuss the Book Two Bitch/Bisexual, and almost ruin our long-running friendship over book opinions.
Chapter 99 is sending you to a farm upstate, where you can exposition all day long! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss gentle parenting your endangered magical teen, cat warlock eye genetics, and ska bands.
Chapter 98 is sneaking into your all-ages club to incite the fall of humankind! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss dimension-hopping viruses, the benefits and drawbacks of pharyngeal jaws, and reveal just how encyclopedic Sam's knowledge of this book is.
Grab your instruments, because Chapter 97 is mortal! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they prepare to speedrun like, so many fantastical creatures, reveal Sam's high school Shadowhunters clout, discuss the benefits of medium stakes, and enter... the City of Bones!
Chapter 96 is an unexpected unexpected part two, because we biologized the hell out of this book! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they continue to have a surprising number of opinions about birdkids and Erasers. Tune in for answers to the questions you never knew you wanted to ask, like: If the birdkids are 2% bird, who (or what?) is 2% human? Which birdkid has a superpower that is never mentioned after chapter one? Why do Erasers have such nasty blood? How does electrolysis work anyway? And STAY TUNED for the thrilling answer to everyone's most burning question: What 2007 book is Midlight Crisis going to read next!?
Is it a bird? Is it a kid? Is it another gosh damn hexapod? No, it’s Chapter 95! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they finally, DEFINITIVELY reveal just how the Maximum Ride is made, if birdkids really DO fly in the fetal position, and, most importantly: how did we manage to talk about this dingdang book for so long that we had to make it a duology… in Chapter 95: Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment: The Birdkid, Explained: Part 1!
Chapter 94 is the wrap-up episode, and the Voice in your head… or is it?! I guess we’ll never know… OR WILL WE?! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah in a retrospective of Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment as they share final thoughts and feelings, spoil the absolutely unhinged trajectory of the rest of the series, and reveal egg canon from an unexpected place.
Chapter 93 flies off around sixish, to Washington, DC, of course! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the Gasman's government name, illegal science numerology, and the importance of bringing any injured birdkids you find in your backyard to a licensed wildlife rehabilitator.
Chapter 92 is slipping and sliding its way into your podcatcher. If only there was some carpet... for traction...
Anyway, join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss if your dog should be an Eraser, contemplate sturddlefish mistakes, and do NOT give you first aid advice
Chapter 91 is rubbing its sewer feet aaaaall over your lab carpeting! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss first-class lab equipment (unspecified), desperately try not to disparage their employers and/or academic institutions, and once again get stuck trying to make funny content about children being locked in cages for bad science.
Chapter 90 is Dissociating! In the Sewer. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss what language rats speak, how to do sea anemone enrichment, and Seventies Sex Cabin carpeting (tm).
Chapter 89 is here to remind you that you probably haven't fed your Neopet in 20 years, you should probably get on that. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they confidently and incorrectly discuss the timelines of technology development, besmirch the Erasers' strategy, and ask the age-old question: Are there vampires in the Old Testament?
Chapter 88 hopes this email finds you well and hopes to circle back to identify opportunities for synergies. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss various permutations of body hair, the evilness of an average six-year-old, and increasingly improbable methods of breathing underwater.
Chapter 87 is the beach episode! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss epic 2005 makeovers, the Millennial urge to become a marine biologist, and the potentially fraught physiology of SCUBA diving with hollow bones.
Chapter 86 keeps showing up, like a bad penny! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how many ways you can fold a birdkid, Eraser statistical models, and just, like, a lot of physics that they don't really understand.
Today's episode isn't just a chapter, it's a whole dang synopsis! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they indulgently reminisce about 2023 (books), gush about this cool new author that you probably haven't heard of (Brandon Sanderson), and shockingly reveal who has a book problem (everyone).
Chapter 85 is Oops! All tangents! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss rich people's librarians, hangry hunter-gatherers, and regrettably, James Patterson's '69 (again).
Chapter 84 is gonna take you to church! Actually, it's a cathedral. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss sanctuary laws, failed adaptations, and the James Patterson '69.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, Midlight Crisis gave to me:
Twelve dancing birdkids;
Eleven movie titles;
Ten concept changes;
Nine fired night guards;
Eight visual bird gags;
Seven evil patents;
Six himbo moments;
FIVE HOT CRISEEEEES;
Four heist montages;
Three story tropes;
Two percent bird genes;
AND A CASSOWARY IN A PEAR TREEEEEE
Chapter 83 is screaming bloody murder and so is the audio quality for some reason. Sorry about that, I don't know what happened. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss their own fourteen-year-old destinies (magical world-saving love triangles), bikes and Mikes, and the worst possible ways to make your human-dog hybrid not get hurt.
Chapter 82 comes to you straight from the, uh, pointer of the ouija doohickey. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they, respectively, discuss the complex history of beanie babies, the surprising origin of the ouija board, and doing toy crimes.
Chapter 81 is none of your beeswax, dipstick! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss Max's evolving brain disease, the very cool technology of the early 2000s, and if h-e-double-hockey-sticks is a swear.
Chapter 80 is our Roman Empire (Taylor's version). Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss surfing the 'net (for kids and families!), Sophie's cat's inner potential, and secret subway cities.
Don’t worry, you’ll like Chapter 79 because it’s full of weirdos! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the immersion-breaking appeal of New York delis, time-travelling Russian communist fashion, and indulge in their annually mandated zoo spiel.
Chapter 78 is all about breakfast. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they finally find the most divisive topic they've ever discussed: lasagna.
Chapter 77 is full of so much good biology, finally! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss campfire snacks, some absolutely wild real life genetic experiments, and get super into the weeds (or into the womb??) about amniocentesis.
Chapter 76 started off with a fish, how did it end up like this?? Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss which Olympic sport is most like throwing a four-year-old, monarch butterfly migration, and why Max should stop scuba diving between chapters.
Chapter 75 is marcescent. You'll get it in a sec, I promise. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss hot chocolate crimes, the extreme paranoia of birdkids, and how to get a warbler to fight you.
Chapter 74 is honestly pretty depressing, sorry guys. Join Sam, Sophie, and Hannah as they discuss what Max has in common with Bigwig (the rabbit), how high a birdkid can count, and have a terrible realization that this book might actually be worse than Midnight Sun.
Chapter 73 is SO rich. It has like $60. Wow. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss ATM theft, talk shit about American payment systems, and marvel over the phenomenon that is teenage boys in McDonald's.
Also, we talked about Fourth Wing a little bit, so there's that.
Chapter 72 is eating rats, because Fang said so! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the importance of stretches for thirty-year-olds with wings, if birds go to hell, and Sam finally, FINALLY, gets to bring up Illyrian wingspans.
Chapter 71 is making a batch of delicious cookies, and a grilled cheese with avocado, yum. I am so hungry you guys. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the Mayberry vacation, the caloric needs of a birdkid, and many different flavours of ~~childhood trauma~~
Chapter 70 is a weakly-swimming plankton, like a jellyfish. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how to find your lost birdkid, the rising price of gas these days, t e e t h, and accidentally remember some shocking truths about moms.
Vaccinate your birdkids, folks.
This is Chapter 69, nice. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the Kerplunk Experiment, birdkid deliverables, and why Angel might pounce upon a can of beans. Also Sam is still mad about experimental design, but that's a constant at this point.
Chapter 68 is ready to drop a bomb on your decrepit mountainside logging cabin! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss werewolf hair, if cult leaders are just hot, and fast food Dumpster (tm) diving for breakfast.
Chapter 67 unfurls from the indentations along our spine! Like wings do! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how cool it is, actually, to ask for help, what you should do when you find an injured bird (kid), and why you shouldn't put an 8-year-old in charge of your plans.
Chapter 66 is a screaming effort all around, really. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss being adopted by birds, why Iggy and the Gasman should never have been left alone, and biblically-accurate birdkids.
Chapter 65 has human legs and a human butt, so I'm going to send it to Sophie in the mail. You're welcome, Sophie. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the USA Migratory Bird Treaty Act (1918), the many joys of windbreakers, and ferruginous hawks.
It's me, hi, I'm Chapter 64, it's me. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss Max's special vision, the expressive faces of judgmental animals, and their extremely thorough understanding of engineering.
Chapter 63 could be any one of a couple characters' POVs, which is kind of confusing, honestly. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss language development, evil gene science (both fictional and horrifyingly real), and the complex psyche of people who like invertebrates.
Chapter 63 waits darkly in your podcatcher. Do you know what that means? We don't. Please enlighten us, we're so confused. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they (we) discuss the birdkid digestive systems, comparative flight speeds, and the genetics of being an edgelord.
Chapter 61 descends from the sky like a spider to kidnap you and shove you headfirst into a sack! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss head injuries in fiction, what the term "GMO" really means, and complain about the experimental design of child abuse, because that's the real issue, obviously.
Spread your wings and take flight with Chapter 60! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss wing flying posture and their aspirational mad scientist experiments, and Hannah accidentally assigns herself a horrifying nickname.
On this foggy Christmas Eve, Santa will come to say -- hey, you should listen to Midlight Christmas! Buckle up for our annual departure from YA fiction as we bring you CHRISTMISFITS, the high fantasy Christmas rom-com nobody knew they were missing! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they rewrite a holiday favourite to include shape-shifting druids, parallel love stories, and an unnecessary amount of teeth content.
Chapter 60 opens book three of this podcast, because everyone knows good fantasy comes in threes, right? Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discover their avian superpowers, have their fourth wall broken, and share all the hottest James Patterson gossip.
Welcome to Midlight Crisis reads: MAXIMUM RIDE: THE ANGEL EXPERIMENT!
We've done it, folks! We read Eragon cover to cover and biologized all over it, and the time has come to bring all of those ideas together. What is a dragon egg actually made of? Does Saphira have radioactive bones? How plausible are d*cklegs, really? Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss their theories from the past 30 Chapters, grumble about hexapods, and draw their final conclusions.
Welcome to The Eragon Dragon, Explained!
Read Chapter 57 and then brisingr that book goodbye because we are DONE WITH ERAGON! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they realize that Saphira can breathe fire, spoil the rest of the series, and share their feeeeelings about the book.
Chapter 56 finally reaches its climax, in like, the last chapter of the book. Which is fine, I guess. Better late than never, right? Anyway, join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss dwarvish foresight (or lack thereof), an actual definitive (ish) Saphira size, and the Shade's fleshy exosuit.
Chapter 55 is in the middle of a super sexy swordfight, or an exceedingly uncomfortable one, depending on which podcast host you are! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the cultural history of Alagaesia, magic tests, and the (im)proper way to end a book.
Chapter 54 has its own internal weather, how fun! Join extremely famous jellyfish podcaster Sophie and her lowly cohosts Sam and Hannah as they discuss dwarf slides, blessings, and fantasy age gaps.
Listen to Sophie's guest spot on "Just The Zoo of Us" at: https://maximumfun.org/episodes/just-the-zoo-of-us/159-moon-jellyfish-w-sophie-wolvin/
Check out Kadour Ziani's mad hops at: https://www.instagram.com/kadour_ziani_official/?hl=en
Chapter 53 is Morbin' a few months too late for that joke to be topical. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss their favourite dinosaurs, fantasy rebellion politics, and a handsome Dorito-shaped man.
Chapter 52 opens the secret door and is wearing a purple and gold robe! Listen, you try coming up with 52 of these. Anyway, join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss dragon puberty, an extremely unpleasant and extremely bald wizard, and the Book Two Bisexual.
Chapter 51 has like a super strong moral code and will definitely judge you if yours is different. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss Murtagh's terrible home life, how much horses work out, and the relentlessness of the GD Urgals.
Chapter 50 has a wicked sunburn, because sunscreen doesn't seem to exist in Alagaesia, but the Hadarac desert does. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how much Saphira loves the desert, the hit-first-ask-questions-later female character, and some truly stunning language skills.
Also, listen closely, and you might catch the quiet jingles of our fourth co-host, the enigmatic Totoro.
One human, one elf, one dragon rider, two horses, and a dragon discuss how to cross the desert. There's no punchline, that's just what happens in Chapter 49. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss scale structures, aestivation, and the illustrious Taylor Swift scorpion.
Chapter 48 breaks out of prison to escape in a hail of arrows! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss magic training, pine tree smell, and play fast and loose with dragon math.
If you've been checking every prison in Alagaësia for Chapter 47, you've found it! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss various teeth, super secret dragon passwords, and onions.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, Chapter 46 (sandstone) to Chapter 46 (diamond). Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they say their goodbyes to Brom. Very respectfully, of course.
RIP, Brom. We hardly knew ya.
Additional reading:
What's your humour? https://openpsychometrics.org/tests/O4TS/?fbclid=IwAR2nTqY3xbcLSau8dl5JT_DAMtH6mCd_7mg0r6wb2weZtxX8w8a55uxDX1k
Chapter 45 hasn't seen the movie Dodgeball, have you? Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the flap musculature (scientific term) of birds, dragon sentience, and how terrible sibilance is for podcasting.
Listening to podcasts is its own kind of worshipe, if you think about it. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah in Chapter 44 as they discuss the fact that Brom is the real main character, the general vibe of cathedrals, and science diagrams that look like s#!tposts.
Add some peat to Chapter 43 and it's more of a mire than Dras-Leona, apparently! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the rules of magic fights, Eragon's special eardrums, and a tenebrous nightmare ship.
Pass out into Chapter 42 and join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss poor mentorship in fantasy, the rules of scrying, and elk bugles.
Additional reading:
Yi qi: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/chinese-dinosaur-had-bat-like-wings-and-feathers?fbclid=IwAR0oFXlwV9USDZ0s8HSEG7jGq2hUrSsu5LH6k_taZIsmfz0OfxSx3pr_m-4
This is how you spell "Chapter Forty-One." Learn it. And join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss close-quarters longbow usage, cat teeth, and how holly can protect you from lightning.
Welcome to Tierm, where you can listen to Chapter 40 through a wall using maaagic! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss Eragon's fortune-telling, what Hungarian and Ancient Greek may have in common with the language of Alagaesia, and whether toads actually exist.
Explore your poetic yearnings for the ocean and love for lowbrow dad jokes with Chapter 39! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how dragons walk, big walls, and what eels and elves have in common.
Slip into your comfiest yoga clothes and get ready for our arrival in Daret in Chapter 38. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss mind melding magic, the colour blue, and a surprising number of pigeon facts.
Chapter 37 was recorded in the Ancient Language of magic, but don't worry, we translated it for you. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss magical linguistics, the difference between sorcerers, magicians, and dragon riders (oh my), and Eragon's possible astrological sign.
Additional reading:
1) The 21 gram soul: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/21_grams_experiment
2) "Can't Help Myself" at the Guggenheim: https://www.guggenheim.org/artwork/34812
Chapter 36 crosses a treacherous plain and comes to an abandoned (or is it!?) town! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how far you can realistically see across a prairie, why you shouldn't but apparently can jump on a dragon's wing, and the impossibility of punching a person off a horse.
Additional links: http://www.hokulea.com/moananuiakea/
Chapter 35 learns how to fight with a sword, because this is a fantasy novel, y'all! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss speech patterns, dragon energy expenditure, and finally asking the most important question: how DID dinosaurs have sex?
Jingle your bells, don your gay apparel, and get ready for a holly jolly good time as we depart from our regularly-scheduled Eragon content to bring you CHRISTMAS DRAGON LLC, the festive rom-com (with dragons!) you didn't know you were missing! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they pitch their feel-good holiday love story with with miscommunications aplenty, totally scientific dragon magic, and the true meaning of Christmas: unionizing your workplace.
Chapter 34 is lurking in the Unprecedentedshadows, ready to leap out of a hidden bramble on the back of a dragon! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the use of glottal stops in fantasy, the two different types of hemlock, and who is faster: a dragon or a vampire?
Welcome to the hut of Gertrude, the town healer, sit down and enjoy Chapter 33 with a side of poultice or whatever. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss draconic stamina, shark teeth, and the many potential horrors of chafing.
Freak out and hide in the woods to listen to Chapter 32, because some mysterious strangers are in town! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the implications of hexapods in fantasy literature, napping in the face of certain disaster, and whether dragons have thumbs.
Open up your Dragonology textbook and turn to Chapter 31 for a life history lesson! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they calculate dragon growth rates, discuss delayed embryonic development, and spiral into existential dread.
Pour yourself a cup of tea and get ready for story time with Brom! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss wing loading, how absolutely huge dragons can get, and the intricacies of dealing with animal dung.
Chapter 29 arrives in Carvahall to tell treasonous stories! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the secret history of Alagaësia, the fantasy patriarchy, and eggs (again, but longer).
Pull out your fantasy maps and join us in an exploration of Chapter 28! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how far Eragon lives from town, the teen perspective FROM the teen perspective, and E G G S.
Put that copy of Midnight Sun back on the shelf (or follow in Sam's footsteps and do, um, something else with it) and crack open our next read, because we've finally moved on to a new book! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they find their fantasy names, discuss the hottest new series of 2001, and accidentally find a vampire in a story that is absolutely NOT supposed to have one.
Chapter 26 races into your podcatcher at 69 m/s, bringing with it all the secrets of the mythical, mysterious Twilight vampire! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they review, summarize, and lock in the biological theories of the last 25 chapters to finally and definitively answer the question: But how does a Twilight vampire really work?
Chapter 25 takes a page out of Jasper's book and focuses on feeeeelings! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how their views on the Twilight franchise have changed, play a very fun guessing game, and pitch various ways to make Midnight Sun actually good!
Chapter 24 - the epilogue! - dresses up all fancy to either turn you into a vampire or go to prom. Could be either, really. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they celebrate the end of Midnight Sun, discuss unfortunate vampire hairstyles, and disparage Edward Cullen for one final time.
Chapter 23 crashes through your podcatcher to commit insurance fraud! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss vampire plastic surgery, Bella's apparent heart defect, and Renee's weird brain and choices.
Chapter 22 bites you on the hand and starts turning you into a vampire, oh no! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how much Edward sucks (literally) (like with his mouth), first aid treatments for vampire bites, and how holographic glitter is a complicated mystery.
Chapter 21 steals your car and drives dangerously into your podcatcher! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss grand theft auto, Grand Theft Auto V, and really just an awful lot about cars, actually.
Chapter 20 races straight into your podcatcher in a Jeep Wrangler! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss carnivorous flowers, how fast a vampire goes (but like, definitively this time), and some truly horrifying parasites.
Chapter 19 is here to hurt you in the most specific, heartbreaking way possible. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how to put a shredded vampire back together again, the tenuous connection between Henrietta Lacks and Twilight, and make hilarious vampiric conflations with various non-human social signals.
Chapter 18 is cloaked in a magical mantle of boredom, but it's all a ruse! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the acoustic characteristics of vampire baseball, tracking (but fantasy style!), and old timey swears.
Chapter 17 hits a home run right into your podcatcher! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss, of course, vampire baseball, an actually plausible theory for the origination of venom in Twilight vampires, and Sophie's interrupting cat.
Chapter 16 is waiting for you in Carlisle's office, welcome, come on in. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss Jasper's mood swings, body-snatching parasites, and how every cryptid is just vampires.
Episode 15 is ready to become your boyfriend and meet your parents! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the Twilight Expanded Universe, Bella's khaki skirt, and the things vampires might have in common with moths, jellyfish, and owls.
Chapter 14 is strangely flattered by all the attention it's getting from its three stalkers fans this week. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discussion vampire evolution, the official Sam Swoon Scale, and get angry about pandemics, like, more than once.
Chapter 13 shines bright like a diamond (or a vampire) with Twilight's iconic meadow scene. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss what mineral vampire skin is made of, the neuroscience of multitasking, and, to Hannah's delight, how Formula 1 relates to vampires.
Chapter 12 comes with not one, not two, but THREE chapters of Midnight Sun, and it's just kind of a lot. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss proper hiking clothes, vampire showers, and metamorphosis.
Chapter 11 is here to ask you your favourite colour, and your favourite sport, and your favourite book, and -- well, it's a lot. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they struggle to do simple math, discuss what Bella's favourite things say about her, and lament the realization that they're all Edward.
Chapter 10 asks the BIG QUESTIONS, about like vampires and stuff. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they talk about Edward eating pizza, bear hunting (again), and why vampires even need to drink blood in the first place.
Deck your halls, holly your jollies, and buckle up for a departure from our regularly-scheduled Twilight content to bring you [TITLE PENDING], the vampire Christmas rom-com of everyone's dreams! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they pitch their future award-winning holiday romp full of festive tradition, the value of love, and a dead turkey.
Chapter 9 runs in a straight line straight into your podcast feed. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how fast Edward is compared to other animals, the Persephone myth, and Hannah's inconvenient inability to pronounce the word "midnight."
Chapter 8 takes a wild ride through the wilder city of Port Angeles. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as we discuss how Edward's mind reading works, why vampires growl, and how much we rEALLY LIKE THESE BOOKS.
Chapter 7 appears from the woods in kind of a lackluster fashion, honestly. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss Bella's literary preferences, the various flavours of animal blood, and vampire mythos from around the world.
Chapter 6 diverges into two separate scenes (imagine that) as Bella goes to the beach and Edward goes hunting. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss fishes that look like eels but aren't, vampire hobbies, and the introduction of Jacob.
Chapter 5 oozes into its budding romance like blood from a pricked finger and also like this metaphor oozing away from me. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they talk about relationship dynamics, Sam's swoon scale, and the effects of vampirism on the environment.
Chapter 4 is much less totally cool than we thought it would be, as Edward faceplants hard into creeper status. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss vampire SCUBA diving, Edward's collection of red flags, and how difficult it can be to talk to humans.
During the off-week, enjoy this short bonus episode! Join Hannah as she takes a joke entirely too far, and re-cuts Episode 3 into a Star Wars podcast just to spite Sophie, who used to be her very good friend... but might not be after this.
May the Force be with you.
Chapter 3 starts to pick up speed - like a van traveling over ice. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss Edward's growing obsession, their favourite storytelling tropes, and definitely not Star Wars.
Chapter 2 covers the iconic first conversation in biology and... not much else, really. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how to flirt with a microscope, what reading YA characters feels like as an adult, and get surprisingly heated about adults who can't cook.
Chapter 1 re-introduces us to Bella and, for the first time, to Edward's homicidal internal monologue. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah in a discussion of the fated cafeteria scene, the top-rated YA Books on Goodreads right now, and the YA stories that changed our lives.
As any good prologue does, Episode 0 sets the stage for the story -- or stories -- to come. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah in a discussion of what the YA genre even is, and come back in two weeks as we finally sink our teeth into the most forbidden of Twilight Saga fruits: Midnight Sun.