Ahavat Yisrael: Recent Episodes
Rabbi David Sutton
Today we will share one last Ahavat Yisrael thought related to Chanukah. As we mentioned, we read the Nasi’im/princes on Chanukah. One of the reasons for this is that right after the 12 Nasi’im comes Parashat Baha’alotcha , which talks about the Menorah. What's the connection between the lighting of the Menorah and the Nasi’im ? Rashi tells us, in the beginning of Baha’alotcha that Aharon HaKohen had what is called Chalishut HaDa’at. He was down. He said, “ My tribe is not connected to the 12 Nasi’im offerings? So Hashem said, “ Don't feel bad. You have something bigger than they have. And that is the miracle of Chanukah .” The question always is How is Chanukah the answer to the fact that they have the Nasi’im ? Rabbi Aaron Walkin, in his sefer Aaron Haim, page 301, answers that what bothered Aharon about the Nasi’im was their Achdut . Each one of them brought the same exact offering. No one tried to outdo the other. No one said, “ I’ll do more flowers. I'll have a better wedding. I'll have a bigger party.” Everyone kept to the same exact program. They didn't try to outdo each other. There was tremendous achdut . They bought caravans together- six caravans and they chipped in, two together, to show that they weren’t trying to steal the whole Mitzvah. Everything about the Nasi’im indicated Achdut . So Aharon felt bad- Where was his tribe ? And the answer was, he would get the miracle of Chanukah. Because, as we mentioned, Chanukah has in it, the aspect of Achdut/unity , as we we discussed this past week- the many hints of unity in the miracle of Chanukah. And he further brings down that it says about the Menorah that there’s Kaneh Echad/one main branch which everything comes of, and that symbolizes the unity of the Jewish people. Furthermore, the Menorah cannot be made piecemeal. It has to chiseled out of one block , which was a miracle. And that one block is further symbolism of the oneness of the Menorah. So that's what it means that Aharon was told, “ Yours will last forever.” The Nesi’im’s unity was a one-time thing, but Aharon HaKohen has the miracle of Chanukah, which lasts forever. And as we see, Chanukah is a time when families get together. Such is the Achdut aspect Chanukah. Have a wonderful day.
Today we will share a Hanukah related thought from the great Klausenberger Rebbe. The Rebbe points out that the miracle of Hanukah took place during the era of the second Bet Hamikdash, as we know. He says that the issue of Sinat Hinam was already brewing then, and that was part of the reason they got into trouble. Therefore, after the miracle of Hanukah, they strengthened themselves in the area of Achdut/ unity. He says there are two very interesting things about the mitzvah of the Menorah. Number one is that we do it outside. Our other Mitzvot are inside. The Seder is in the house, and Succot is inside the Succah- we don't see what's going on in anyone else’s house. But the menorah is on the outside. Number two is that there are three different levels of kiyum mitzvot of Ner Hanukah There's a regular level- where you light one candle, then there's one per night, then there’s one per person…different levels. We don't find that with other Mitzvot. We don’t get three options of of matzot- grade A grade B or grade C. The Torah has one level of Matzot. Additionally, we don’t have different levels of Megilat Esther. So what is it about Hanukah that has that three levels? He answers both questions with the same point- that since they had perfected their area of unity and they were no longer jealous of each other, it enabled that, firstly, we could put the menorah outside. When jealousy shows up, people think, “ How come he has a silver menorah and I only have copper?” But we don't have to worry about that when it comes to Hanukah. Secondly, I don't have to worry that he thinks he's better than me, because he’s doing a higher level Mitzvah. So whereas people may think- “ What? He eats yashan- he thinks he's better than me? He eats chalav Yisrael, he thinks he's better than me?” we didn't have that problem with Hanukah, because again, there was no jealousy. And with this he explains a Midrash, which is based on the Pasuk from Shir Hashirim, that is difficult to understand: הַֽדּוּדָאִ֣ים נָֽתְנוּ־רֵ֗יחַ וְעַל־פְּתָחֵ֙ינוּ֙ כׇּל־מְגָדִ֔ים literally means, “The Dudaim (a certain type of flower), gave a smell, and on our doorsteps are all kind of delicious delicacies. The Midrash says that the Dudaim gave a smell refers to Reuven, because he was the one that brought the Dudaim to his mother, and he saved Yosef from the pit. And on our doorstep there are delicacies refers to the Ner Hanukah that we put outside on the doorstep. What's the connection? A lot of rabbis speak about the connection between Reuven and the Ner Hanukah.The Klausenberger Rebbe explains, beautifully, that Reuven saved Yosef. As the Gemara in Berachot 7b says, Leah pointed out, “ Look how special my son is. Esav tried to kill Yaakov, and here Reuven is helping his would-be competition, Yosef (who would be the Bechor from Rachel, over the Bechor from Leah). He's helping him; He's uniting with him; He's trying to save him.” This connects to the miracle of Hanukah, when we light outside, because we're no longer worried about jealousy on Hanukah. Again, a beautiful connection between Achdut and the miracle of Hanukah. Have a wonderful day.
Today we have another thought about Ahavat Yisrael in relation to the holiday of Hanukah, which comes from the sefer Akedat Yitzhak Al HaTorah , from one of the Hasidim. He writes that Matityahu was the Sadik HaDor, and the job of the Sadik HaDor is to unite the hearts of Jewish people. That's why Matityahu’s cry was, “ Mi L’Hashem Elai/ Who is to Hashem come to me.” When he gathered together the Maccabim , he was trying to gather Jewish people together. He says that the only reason they won the war was because of their Achdut/unity, which is symbolized by the pach shemen/ vessel of oil. How so? We know that oil rises above water, but only when all the oil is united. If you blend the oil and water, the oil gets mixed into everything else, and you won't see the oil rise to the top. It’s only when the oil is all together that it can rise above. That's what it means that when they Jewish people are B’Achdut/united, they go above all nations and no one can impact them. Just like a bundle of sticks- one single stick can be broken, but when you put them all together, they cannot be broken. Anytime God wants to bring beracha on the Jewish people, there needs to be a vessel to hold the Beracha, and as the Mishna says, God did not find a vessel to hold the Beracha for the Jewish people, only shalom/ peace. Shalom is what brings all of the Beracha on the Jewish people. He quotes the sefer Noam Elimelech, which says on the pasuk, ‘ they graze in the marsh ,’ that it can also mean ‘ the Jewish people graze in tranquility when they're in brotherhood.’ Furthermore, in the same pesukim talking about the dreams of Yosef, it says that the during the time of the Plenty , the cows were fat cows. Rashi says, it's a sign of the good years, that each one looks good to the other one, that “I don't look at you in a tight way .” When there's a famine, they're all thin and each one looks at the other one like they're thin. They can't enjoy the other person's success, because they don't have anything. But when everyone's happy with each other, thar means it's a time of success. That's the simple explanation. But he brings a deeper explanation: He says, when everybody looks good at each other; when everyone has a good eye toward each other, and there's love and brotherhood in the world, that's a sign that there will be satiation in the world- not a sign that it is currently. That good trait of looking at your friend with a good eye, not competing and not being jealous, will bring the Beracha. So when you see a time that everyone's getting along, then you know there will be beracha. We read about Yosef and the brothers reuniting all during the holiday of Hanukah because that's part of the job of Hanukah- to bring that Achdut/togetherness between the brothers. And as we said, we also read about the 12 tribes of the Nesi’im during these days, all to indicate that important brotherhood. Furthermore, the Haftara talks about the uniting of Yehuda and Yosef. B’Ezrat Hashem we will have the Achdut necessary to bring the Beracha to the world.
Moshe Rabbenu, in Shemot 33,16 says וְנִפְלִ֙ינוּ֙ אֲנִ֣י וְעַמְּךָ֔ We ( the Jewish people) should be separated from the rest of the world. And right after that, God introduces the 13 Attributes of Mercy, which is a special covenant called the Covenant of the 13 Attributes that is made specifically for the Jewish people. This is what bothered the Greeks. They were bothered by anything that made the Jewish people stand out, apart from the rest of the world. These 13 attributes are what separate us. The way we describe our keeping the 13 attributes of mercy is to ‘ Go in the ways of God .’ Just like He is Rachum , we have to be be Rachum, just like He is Hanun we have to be Hanun . We must act in those ways, but why? Because of the rule that a son emulates his father. The Jewish people are called children of God, and therefore we are the ones that emulate God. We are the ones that live up to the Tzelem Elokim / image of God. The Tomar Devorah tells us that this why we have to live up to and emulate those 13 traits of God. With this, the sefer Yerach L’Moadim, from Rabbi Yerucham Olshin, the Rosh Yeshiva of Lakewood explains a custom brought down by the Magen Avraham, on Shuchan Aruch, brought down by the Mishna Berura and the Kaf HaChaim, that it's customary for young, poor children to go collect money on Hanukah. That's really where the famous Hanukah gelt comes from. Some people want to say it's a Gentile custom, but it's not. It was really for the poor. The custom might have been to just give it as gifts, but there was a concept of giving money to children. Of course, they didn't want to differentiate wealthy and poor when giving money to children. And what's the reason? It’s based on Rambam in Hilchot Matanot Ani’im , chapter 10, Halacha 2, which says, all Jewish people are like brothers, like it says, you are children of God. If we're children of God, we're all brothers. And if a brother doesn't have mercy on his brother, who will have mercy on him? And who are the poor of the Jewish people looking up to? To their Jewish brethren, that are going to help them. Therefore, the Rambam says that the Mitzvah of Sedaka clearly comes from the concept of being children of God, and therefore being brothers to each other. And if the point that the Greeks were trying to obliterate was the fact that we are children of God (and therefore brothers to each other), we must go out of our way and strengthen ourselves in the trait of being brothers and children of Hashem, by specifically giving Sedaka during the holiday of Kislev. That's an important Ahavat Yisrael connection to the holiday of Hanukah. Have a wonderful day.
As we're now in the month of Kislev, we will speak a little bit about Hanukah in order to get ready. The Ben Ish Chai quotes the Arizal that when one says the berachot of the Nerot Hanukah, he says LeHadlik Ner Hanukah, unlike Shabbat when we say LeHadlik Ner Shel Shabbat . He answers with a Kabbalistic reason: Because we want to spell out the letters נחל N a H a L (using the first letters of each word L eHadlik N er H anukah) which means stream . And this stream is a two way stream- One stream stands for N afshenu H ekita L Hashem/Our souls are waiting for God's salvation . So we're hoping to God- that's a Bitachon indicator. The other stream is N otzer H essed L ’Alafim/ God protects and watches over our good deeds for 2000 generations, which are the 8 th and 9 th attributes of the 13 Attributes of God's Mercy ( El Rachum V’Hanun etc). What is the significance of this? He says that on each day of Hanukah, a different one of the 13 attributes is aroused. Day one is El , day two is Rachum , day three, Hanun…. etc . When we hit day eight, it’s Notzer Hessed/God watches our kindness, and L’Alafim is trait nine. Notzer Hessed L’Alafim/God watches the kindness for 2000 generations. Even though it's two separate traits, it's really one unit. And so, with the 8th unit comes down the 9th, the 10th, 11th, the 12th, and the 13th, which is all on the eighth day of Hanukah, and it’s called Zot Hanukah. That's why it's such a special day- because all 13 attributes come down. (Similarly, when we read the sefer Torah on Hanukah there are 13 different readings, so to say. There are the 12 tribes, and there's the also the tribe of the Kohanim, which is the 13th tribe, if you break it up that way. We do one Nasi/prince each day. But on the eighth day we do the 8th, 9th, 10th, 11, 12 th and 13 th , which correspond to the attributes) Our goal is to understand what exactly the connection is, between the 13 attributes and the holiday of Hanukah. And they explain as follows… In the Mishna Masechet Middot (chapter 2, mishna 3) it says that there were different boundaries and gates around the Bet Hamikdash. One of them was called the Soreg , which was only 10 hand-fists high. It didn’t really serve the purpose of a real wall. But it says that there were 13 breaches made there by the Greeks when they came to the Bet Hamikdash (as we sing in Maoz Sur - they made breaches in the walls). Furthermore, it says that when we won the war, we filled in those breaches. The people would go to each breach and bow down in thanks to God that we won the war. So the question is, what exactly is the significance of these 13 breaches in this wall? Rav Gedalia Schorr z’l explains, in his Sefer Or Gedalia , that the purpose of this 10 hand-fist high wall was to designate an area where goyim were not allowed to go. (There were certain areas in the Bet Hamikdash where contaminated people couldn't go, where non-Kohanim couldn’t go, and a certain point where no goyim were allowed to pass). This bothered the Greeks. They felt, with their philosophy, that they were equal to the Jews. So why couldn’t they go past there? They specifically made 13 breaches in those walls, in order to, so to say, break the differentiation between Jew and goy. But there's a deeper significance- Why the number 13, why didn’t they make 11 or 12 breaches? The answer is, because it corresponds to the 13 attributes of mercy that God has for the Jewish people. That's what they were trying to separate. One of the differentiating factors between the Jews and the goyim is that Hashem deals with us with these special 13 attributes of mercy. And that's what happens on Hanukah… We'll continue tomorrow with the significance of Hanukah and its connection to these 13 attributes. But the first thing we have to know is that the 13 attributes have to do with the 13 breaches that the Greeks made in the wall.
We continue with the trait of God called She’erut Nachlato, that God views the Jewish people as relatives, and it hurts God when we're in pain. The Gemara In Masechet Hagiga says When a man is in pain, what does God say? My head hurts. My arm hurts. And that's talking about sinners . So it’s surely so when a Sadik is suffering. Rav Chaim Volozhin, in his Sefer Nefesh HaChaim ( Shaar ב perek יא ) says, “What does it mean, ‘My head hurts and My arm hurts?’ He says, that connects to the tefilin that we wear on our head and arm..” The Gemara in Berachot 6A says just like we wear Tefilin, God, kal v’yachol wears Tefilin . It’s all about connection, the connection between God and the Jewish people. Our tefilin says Hashem Echad , and God’s tefilin says Mi K’Amcha Yisrael, Who is like the Jewish people , Goy Echad who is great like the Jewish people…that are connected to God like relatives. So God's Tefilin are full of praise for the Jewish people. Just like our tefilin praises Him, His Tefilin praises us. Tefilin signifies that connection. Therefore, when a man is in pain, it's as if, kal v’yachol, God's not connected. It means God's head and arm hurts. He doesn't feel the connection to the Jewish people when we're in suffering. And that's why the Benei Yisaschar says in Ma’Amar ה , of Hodesh Av, an unbelievable thought. Why is it that many people have the custom not to wear tefilin on Tisha B’Av? Because that’s the day, that, as if to say, God's not wearing His tefilin either, because if we're in such suffering, obviously there's a disconnection. And therefore, we don't wear the tefilin. This concept, of looking at everyone as our relatives, is talking about a stranger. You have to treat a stranger like a relative. But it's more than that. The Gemara in Sanhedrin 76B says that someone who loves his neighbors, and Mekarev Et K’rovav/brings his relatives close to him, and he lends a poor man at a time of difficulty, on him, it says, ‘You'll call out and God will respond to you.’ This is based on a pasuk in Yeshaya which is talking about what God wants on a fast day. He wants us to give to the poor. He wants to bring the poor into our homes. He wants us to cover the naked. And the words that say what God wants when He is talking about all this kindliness, is Don’t ignore your flesh and blood On that, the Gemara says that you have to put extra emphasis on the relative . Sometimes we're nice to the strangers, but we don't have that same connection to our own relatives. As the saying goes, charity begins in the home. It's not enough to give that stranger money. But the Gemara says, Mekarev Et K’rovav bring your relative close. (Sanhedrin 76B explaining Yeshaya 58, which we actually read on Yom Kippur) A person may wonder- How come my prayers aren't being answered? Well, maybe because you're not being Mekarev Et K’rovav bringing your relatives close. There's a story of a rabbi who had a wife and bunch of young children. He was learning in a Kollel (and he eventually became a Rosh Yeshiva). Every day he would get there at a quarter to 10 when the Kollel started at nine o'clock. And the rabbi in charge of the Kollel said, “ Where are you?” He answered, “ Every day I leave my house, and I'm on my way to get here on time. Then I pass by a house with a widow with six children and I just can't leave. So I go h elp her get the kids ready to go off to school. And I get here to a quarter to 10.” “Oh wow! I'm sorry.” And then the young Kollel rabbi says, “ I want to correct this a little bit. It's actually my wife and her six children, but I can only help a widow? I can't help my own wife? That's the concept Mekarev Et Krovav Have a wonderful day.
We're continuing this concept that the Jewish people are connected to God cause we're related. The pasuk in V’Etchanan 4,7 says כִּ֚י מִי־ג֣וֹי גָּד֔וֹל אֲשֶׁר־ל֥וֹ אֱלֹהִ֖ים קְרֹבִ֣ים אֵלָ֑יו כַּיהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֵ֔ינוּ בְּכׇל־קׇרְאֵ֖נוּ אֵלָֽיו Who is a great nation that God is related to? Whenever you call out to Him, He responds. Which means that because we're related, He responds to our prayers. Asks the Brisker Rav on Shemot 33,19, What do you mean? Goyim can also pray and Goyim can do teshuva, as we see in Yonah. And in Melachim א chapter eight, Shlomo Hamelech says, וְגַם֙ אֶל־הַנׇּכְרִ֔י When the goy comes, his prayer is answered. And Yeshaya 56 says, My house is the house of prayer for all nations. So we see that goyim can pray. So what does it mean that ‘O nly we are considered the ones to close to God and related to God and we can pray?’ The Brisker Rav answers that the Gemara in Rosh Hashana, page 18 says, “ This power that responds to us always, is for the Tzibur /group There's a special power of a Tzibur . And when there's a Tzibur praying or doing Teshuva , it's immediately answered. That’s the special power of the Tzibur. He says that only the Jewish people have the power of Tzibur . What does that mean? That means that regarding Goyim, when there are 100 people in a room, it's just 100 individuals in a room. There is no connection because they're not inherently connected. It says their souls come from Olam HaPiud/ the world of separation . However, the Jewish people come from Olam HaAchdut/The world of connection. That's why the Jewish people are symbolized by Reshut Hayachid , private property , and the goyim are Reshut HaRabim/public property. All Jewish people are in one private household. We are one big happy family, whereas the goyim are out in Times Square, with no inherent connection. They’re outside. So only the Jewish people have the power of the Tzibur . And that's the power of the 13 Attributes of Mercy, where it says V’Yaavor Hashem al Panav Va’Yikrah… the Gemara says that Hashem put on a Talet like a Shaliach Tzibur , and showed them the power of the prayer. He says, whenever the Jewish people sin follow this, And I forgive them. Why does the Gemara say that God was a Shaliach Tzibur? To show that this is a power that only works with the Tzibur . That's why we can only say the 13 attributes of mercy with 10 people in the room. If you are stuck at home praying, you have to say it with proper te’amim/cantillation. You can't say it alone, because this is something that is only said by a Tzibur . And like it says about Yaakov Avinu, 60 soul (written in singular) whereas regarding Esav, it says 6 souls , because their souls are individuals. They're not connected. There's no power of a Tzibur . A Tzibur is everyone together. A pneumonic of Tzibur צבור is צ דיק ב נוני ר שע Tz addik, B enoni, R asha, all Jews are together in one Tzibur . When we come to pray on Yom Kippur, we let everyone in. We allow even the sinners to come in, because we need the power of Tzibur . And that is because of the concept of Am Kerovo , We are the ones that have the power of closeness, of relation, as one body, as one soul of the Jewish people. And we have to act like that. We have to treat every Jew like that. Because if we don't act like that, we don't arouse God acting like that as well. Have a wonderful day.
AY 331 We are all Related We're talking about trait number four of God, called L’she’erit Nachlato, which means Hashem considers the Jewish people as His relatives. And regardless of what they're doing or not doing, or what they're deserving of, He can't see their pain and has to alleviate it. How does that apply to us? Says the Tomar Devorah, That's how we have to act with our friends, because we are all connected, our souls are connected. Our bodies might not be connected, but our souls are connected. He says that's why there's a concept in Shevuot 39A, כל ישראל ערבים זה לזה We are all responsible for each other. Why? In his words, “ Every person has a piece of his friend inside of him. I have 600,000 pieces inside of me. And therefore, when I sin, I'm impacting all those other 600,000 pieces of my soul that everyone has inside of me. The reason someone else can say kiddush for me if I need to hear it is that he has a little bit of me in him, and I have a little of him in me. We're all connected, we're all related. That's why we're responsible for each other. If I see someone else sinning, I can stop him, because when he sins, it's making a hole in my boat- again, because a little bit of him is inside of me. This is an unbelievable concept. And it’s not just poetic prose; this is real fact. Anytime a rabbi adds the word mamash , it means for real. That means we're not saying this in poetry. We are for real. We are really considered relatives. He says, מפני שממש יש בכל אחד חלק אחד מחבירו For real , each one of us has a portion of our friend in us, and if that's the case, I have to want the benefit of my friend, and my eyes should be good on my friend's respect, as dear as mine. Why? In his powerful words, שהרי הוא – הוא ממש ומטעם זה נצטוינו He is literally me. And that's why V’Ahavta L’Re’echa Kamocha-I have to love my friend like I love myself, because his good is my good and his loss is my loss. Therefore, I want my friend to be successful. I don't want to ever say anything negative about him. Just like God doesn't want to see our degradation, or our pain and negativity, because of the relationship. And that's how we have to treat each other. Again, when we see someone else in pain, וירע לו ממנו כאלו הוא ממש היה שרוי באותו צער או באותה טוב I have to feel like I’m in that same pain, and the opposite, if he’s celebrating, I have to celebrate as well. This are unbelievable concepts that we have to really put into our consciousness. This is not just a flowery way of speaking. If we had eyes to see, we would see the connections, and the feelings that we should have, should be based on that real connection. Have a wonderful day.
We continue in the 13 attributes of mercy, as delineated by Rav Moshe Cordovero in his sefer Tomar Devorah . We are up to trait number four, L‘She’erit Nachlato . She’er means relative, like She’er Besaro , and Nachlato means an inheritance. God looks at us as if we are She’er Basar/ we are related t o Him, and Nachlato , we are His inheritance. And therefore, God says, What should I do to the Jewish people? They're My relatives. As God refers to the Jewish people in Shir Hashirim , They’re My daughter and My sister, My mother. Tehilim 148, 14, calls the Jewish people relatives- ישראל עם קרובו Yisrael Am Kerovo Karovo can mean close to, and Karov is a relative. God says, We're related. And if I'm punishing My relative, it's hurting Me. What am I gaining? The pasuk in Yeshaya 63,9 says בכל צרתם לו צר In all of the Jewish people's pain, there's pain to God. Furthermore, it says in Shoftim , 10,16 ותקצר נפשו בעמל ישראל which Rashi explains as God , kal v’yachol, didn't have space in Hid soul in order to tolerate watching someone else suffer. He didn’t have room for it, so to say. God didn't have the space, even though they were wrong, and even though they deserved it, God couldn't see their suffering and therefore He had to end it. This is an unbelievable concept. We spoke about Savlanut , which was the beginning of this discussion. We have to be Sovel when our friend insults us or hurts us. But when it comes to seeing the Jewish people in pain, in his words, לפי שאינו סובל צערם וקלונם, מפני שהם שארית נחלתו: God cannot tolerate, God cannot hold seeing Jewish pain and disgrace because we're related . Sometimes you just can't watch. Recently, I had to go to a doctor with a male relative, and as he was being checked, I couldn't stand in the room, and not because of any tznuit reasons. I just couldn't bear to see the wound that he was showing to the doctor. It hurt too much. So too, Hashem, kal v’yachol , can't see the pain, but God can't walk out of the room. So what does God have to do? God has to relieve the pain. That is the trait of God called L’She’erit Nachlato. A nd before we apply it, let's just reiterate this concept. In a pasuk in Devarim, 4,7 it says, כִּ֚י מִי־ג֣וֹי גָּד֔וֹל אֲשֶׁר־ל֥וֹ אֱלֹקים קְרֹבִ֣ים אֵלָ֑יו Who is great like the Jewish people, like God, Who is (not close to us, says the midrash, but) related to us . And the Yerushalmi in Masechet Rosh Hashana says, People like to recognize their wealthy, prestigious relatives, not their poor unknown relatives. But Hashem doesn't work that way. He says, Am Kerovo . I don't care where the Jewish people are holding, they're My relatives. They're my close kin . And that's the way we have to deal with all Jewish people. B’Ezrat Hashem, we will apply this to the Jewish people, and develop this concept more at length. Have a wonderful day.
We continue going through the sefer Tomar Devorah, which talks about God's Thirteen attributes of mercy and how we are supposed to emulate them. We are up to the third Middah, which is called the V’Over Al Pesha / He passes over sin. . “ This is a great attribute, ” says the Tomar Devorah, “ because God's forgiveness is not through a messenger. God Himself forgives ," as it says Ki Imcha Haselicha/With You, is forgiveness. And what is the Selicha ? God washes away the dirt of the sin… and he quotes two Pesukim: Yeshaya 4,4, אם רחץ ה׳ את צאת בנות ציון “If God will clean and wash the excrement of the daughters of Sion,” and Yehezkiel 36, 25 says, וזרקתי עליכם מים טהורים I will sprinkle upon you purifying waters. And that's what Over Al Pesha means, that God Himself cleanses the sin. When a person sins, it creates negative forces. It creates dirt, smells, odors. It's not something that we can pick up on, but actually, in Parashat Toldot, when Esav came in to Yitzhak, it says he smelled the smell of Gehinom that came in with him. And when Yaakov walks in, he smells the smell of Gan Eden on him. This is because our sins and our Mitzvot produce different forces, different energies. In the Sephardic prayers on Rosh Hashanah, it says, “ My sins, if my friends would smell them, they would run and stay far away.” Sins smell. And not only doesn't God walk away from us, but He, so to say, changes the diapers, which is something that only a mother does. Rav Yitzhak Blazer gives the mashal that if a stranger saw a child that was all soiled, he’d walk out to the other room. He wouldn’t want anything to do with him. Only a mother comes in with love and a hug. Ignoring the smell, she cleans the child in the most delicate of fashions, until he comes out sparkle and clean. And that is , kal v’yachol, what Hashem does for us. He cleans up our mess. Now, what does that have to do with us? Says the Tomar Devorah, That's the way man has to act. He shouldn't say, ‘I have to fix what he messed up?’ No. A person has to say, ‘if God Himself cleans up our mess, we have to clean up the other person's mess.’ That means, practically speaking, that if somebody causes a problem in a business, in a school, etc, you are now going to go and fix up their mess. That takes a tremendous amount of self-control. And sometimes it’s a situation of I told you so. You many find yourself in a situation where you tried to avoid the problem, but the person didn’t listen to you and created a mess. But you are not just going to let them sit there and suffer. You're going to pull them out of their mess. Raising children definitely gives many good opportunities for this Middah. This is one of God's attributes, and the more that we arouse our merciful attributes, the more God arouses His towards us. Have a wonderful day.
We've been talking about the concept of כל העושה עבירה קונה לו קטגור אחד Whoever does a sin buys (or creates) a negative force. But since we don't like to end on a negative, let’s flip to the positive side of this: When a person does a mitzvah, he creates a positive force. As the Mishna says, he gets a defense attorney. As we say in our prayers, “ There should stand up, a defense attorney for us .” An angel that’s a defense attorney is created from our Mitzvot. The Sefer Ya’avetz, from one of the great rabbis that survived the Spanish Inquisition, says Listen to the the story of Masechet Chagiga: There was a man that only knew one tractate- Chagiga, and he reviewed and reviewed it anytime he had an opportunity, his entire life. He never stopped. When he passed away, he was not near his family. So God sent an angel that looked like a lady, and this lady was crying, “ My husband, my husband .” Everyone gathered around as the lady cried so bitterly, and said, “ My husband respected me. He never forsook me my whole life. He treated me properly…bury him with great respect.” They asked her what her name was and she said, “ Chagiga .” An interesting name. They did some research and found out that this was not his wife. They found out that he had been learning Masechet Chagiga his entire life. This man had created an angel from all his Torah learning. And he says, that's what it means that הָעוֹשֶׂה מִצְוָה אַחַת, קוֹנֶה לוֹ פְרַקְלִיט אֶחָד. He who does one Mitzvah, acquires one advocate. The Maharsha points out that the pasuk says, “ Someone who comes to do good, to purify himself, they help him.” He says it should say God helps him. Who is they ? And he explains that when a person thinks of doing a good deed, that in itself creates positive angels. In plural- 2 angels. It says, “ They help him.” How? They help him to continue the act fully. And that is the positive side of our ability to create forces-it may not be directly connected to Ahavat Yisrael, but it’s an important lesson, nevertheless. We should not just focus on the negative angels we create with our Averot , but focus on the positive angels we create with our mitzvot. Have a wonderful day.
We continue in the Sefer Tomar Devorah, discussing the traits of God that we have to emulate. Trait number one was God's level of tolerance and patience, which we call Savlanut . Trait number two is called Noseh Avon , which literally means to carry a sin. The term first shows up when Kayin tells God, “ Is my sin too great to carry?” Simply, it's poetic, But the Tomar Devorah explains that when a person sins, he creates a negative force, like the Mishna in Avot 4,13 says, One who sins (buys or) creates a prosecuting angel. As we have discussed, nothing in this world can remain alive without Somebody , namely God, keeping it alive. So that prosecuting angel goes in front of God and says, “ So-and-so created me, and I need to be sustained. ” Really, God should say, “ I'm not sustaining a negative force that I didn't create. Go to the one that created you, and he will give you sustenance.” Depending on the level of sin, the sustenance of the negative angel might be the person’s arm, leg or whatever is required in order to satisfy this negative angel’s need. But God doesn't do that. Rather, He carries and tolerates the sin, like He does with the rest of the world. He feeds the sin. Angels live off of heavenly food, and this angel that was created by our sin is fed by God. We created him. We created a negative angel, and yet God feeds him. For how long depends on one of three things. He says, -When a person does teshuva, that causes the negative force to disappear, -or the man will suffer in this world -or he will suffer in the next world. We don't want either of those options. We prefer Teshuva. But until that happens, it could be years that God is sustaining this angel. That's what Kayin meant when he said, “ Is my sin too great to carry ?” and the Midrash Tanhuma says on that, “ You're able to carry (sustain) the whole world and my sin is too heavy? You can't take care of it?” What a tremendous amount of tolerance, to continue to sustain the negative force that the person created. So what is the application to man? If someone wronged you, and the person's negativity is still there, nonetheless you continue to allow him to, and sustain him, even though he is working against you. For example, if a worker was stealing from you, and you still payed his paycheck. Of course, that's an extreme example. We will continue to discuss this, but essentially, being Noseh Avon is when someone is doing something negative, and even though he continues to do negative things, you carry him. We might not do this with our workers, but we do it with our children. We will continue to carry a child and sustain him, even when he’s acting in a way that we don't agree with. And that's really a trait of God. Have a wonderful day.
We've been discussing the Middah of Savlanut , which means to tolerate or be patient . Another term for this trait is Ma’avir Al Midotav , which literally means someone who lets his Middot “pass.” Rashi describes it, in Masechet Rosh Hashana 17A, as Not being exacting, not being measure for measure to those that pain him. He lets his middot go, and he just keeps going. He just moves on. And if that is the way the person acts, then God's justice isn't exacting with him, it just keeps moving as well. So Maavir Al Midotav means to move on. You just move on. You don't get stuck. And what's reward for it? Number one is that his sins are forgiven. But there’s another reward: The Gemara in Masechet Chagiga 5A, discusses a person that, for some reason, dies before his time, as the pasuk says, “ Sometimes people go before their times.” The Gemara asks, what do we do with those extra years? And it says, If there is a Talmid Hacham/Torah scholar who is Maavir B’Mileh, (which Rashi says means Maavir B’Midotav ), they give those extra years to him. Unbelievable! Based on this, I saw commentary from the Maharam Shick (a student of the Chatam Sofer) that says that in the Torah, Pinhas is described with his whole lineage- Pinhas ben Elazar, ben Aharon HaKohen. Why do we give this whole lineage? It says, because the tribes were disgracing him, “ Oh, his father, his grandfather, fashioned idols for Avoda Zara…who does he think is?” Everyone was disgracing him, and yet he didn't respond. Here's a man that did the greatest act and saved the world. And yet everyone taunted him. What did he get? Et Briti Shalom . He got the Covenant of Peace, which the Seforno says is Peace from the Angel of Death. That's why Pinhas became Eliyahu, and he’ll live forever. Why was that his reward? The explanation is unbelievable – All of those 24,000 people died before their time because they sinned. They had been allotted a certain amount of years and died early. So what happened with all of those years they lost? We can estimate that was about 20 years x 24,000 lives, That’s tens of thousands of years! Pinhas, the one who was disgraced and didn’t say anything, got all of their years, and that's why he’ll live forever. Unbelievable! What a tremendous incentive to be Ma’avir Al Midotav! Have a wonderful day.
We've been talking about Hashem’s tremendous patience and tolerance, and how even though we sin, God continues to bestow His bounty and blessings upon us. The Hovot Halevavot, in his Shaar Cheshbon HaNefesh section (chapter 3, 6th calculation), says, “ If any of our limbs would not do what they're supposed to do, for example, if the ones that are supposed to be moving would stop, or the ones that are supposed to be stopped would move ( Like we say in Asher Yatzar, if one of them opens, that is supposed to be closed or closes that’s supposed to be open), we would lose our ability to live, and yet the limbs keep going. He says, Really when a person doesn't follow God, then the limbs shouldn't follow him. If he’s not listening to His creator, why should his limbs listen to him? He gives a mashal of a king who commanded some of his servants to carry one of his ministers across a river. He instructed his servants to be very careful as they crossed the river, that the minister shouldn’t get hurt or fall. And while the servants were carrying the minister, the minister also had a responsibility. He had to take a flag and wave it back and forth as they went across the river. The servants followed their part of the deal, they carried the minister across the river very carefully. But the minister was asleep the entire time. He did not do his job. He did not wave the flag. So one of the servants said, Dear minister, you are ignoring the king's command. Why aren't you concerned that we'll do the same thing and also ignore the king's command? His command was that we should watch over you. And just like you're not following, we won't follow. And if we don't follow, you're going to fall into this big river and die a horrible death. Do Teshuva and repent immediately and ask God for forgiveness. And just like we're not ignoring the king's command, neither should you . Says the Hovot Halevavot, that's what’s going on with us. Our limbs continue to follow the rules and regulations, our stomachs digests the food, our eyes see, our ears hear...and so on and so forth. They're following their command. Yet we might not be doing what God told us to do with our eyes. We might not be doing what God told us to do with our ears. We might not be doing what God told us to do with our throats and tongues and so on… That is the tremendous patience that God has, that ultimately He is the one that controls the servants. The servants don't have a mind of their own, the limbs don't have a mind of their own, and yet they continue to follow their command, even though we don't necessarily follow ours. Again, all of this is to teach us how much patience God has, and how we should emulate God's patience.
We are now going through the sefer Tomar Devorah , which talks about God's 13 Attributes, as mentioned by Micha. The first is called Mi El Kamocha/Who is a God like You, the point being that God has tremendous tolerance and patience for His creations. Even though they act in a rebellious way against him, God continues to shower His kindness upon them. We will give some examples of what God does, in order for us to learn to emulate Him. In Beresheet (3,21) it says that after Adam and Chava sinned and realized they were naked, God made for them leather garments, וילבישם V’Yalbishem/And He clothed them with them. It doesn't say He made clothing L’lbosh/ for them to wear , like is used in Bereshit 28, 20, where Yaakov Avinu asks for Beged Lilbosh/ clothing to wear , but rather it says clothing that He actually clothed them in. Hashem made them clothing and clothed them. What is this pasuk trying to say? Rabbenu Bachye explains that God wanted to show not just that He created clothing for them after they sinned against Him- Because God should technically say, Hey, you realized you're naked? You made yourself feel naked! Figure it out yourselves- But No, God went and created clothing, and He did not just create the clothing and put it on the rack- VYalbishem . He actually put the clothing on them, so to say. It was also, as Rabbenu Bachye says, להורות על אהבתו וחמלתו על יצוריו To show God's love and compassion for His creations, שאף על פי שחטאו לא זז מחבבן והוא בעצמו השתדל בתיקונם And even though they sinned He did not stop from showing them endearment. And He Himself, tried to fix the problem that they created. God could have had someone else do it. He goes on to say that this too is the way God acted with Adam HaRishon’s future generations, in the desert, as we mentioned last week. Even after they sinned the sin of the golden calf, God continued to bring the Manna down, and did not stop showing His endearment to them. Furthermore, he says that at the splitting of the sea, the Jewish people went into the sea with an idol! There was an idol called Pessel Micha, as it says in Zechariah 10,11, ועבר בים צרה זה פסל מיכה. צרה זו עבודה זרה In the ocean, passed a Tsara, which literally means a co-wife , which means competition for God. The Midrash explains that it refers to Pessel Micha. And yet God split the sea. And to this point, Daniel said (9,7) לך ה' הצדקה ולנו בושת הפנים: You God, have the act of charity, And we are embarrassed. We are embarrassed because God continues to shower His blessings on us, even when we sin. And again, the main point is to emulate God, and see how we can relate that to people that have wronged us, and continue to act benevolently to them.
We continue to talk about God's tremendous tolerance, patience and acceptance of disgrace. We go back to the pasuk in Nehemiah (chapter 9), where he is giving a speech to the Jewish people and he says the words ואתה מחיה את כלם God gives life to all, and it continues on, as we know in our prayers, with: You are the one that chose Avram and took him out of Ur Kasdim and gave him the name Avraham, made a Brit with him.. and so on. until it says, You split the sea and the enemies were thrown into the deeps like a rock in the waters . That's the end of what we say in our prayers, but the pasuk continues -perek ט pasuk יב - And You guided them with the cloud and a fire at night and You came down on Har Sinai, You gave them the Torah and You gave them Shabbat and You gave them manna from the heavens. and You gave them water from the rock and they didn't want to listen. They did not remember the miracles that You did. They were stiff necked and they wanted to go back to Mitzrayim. But you, God, are a God of mercy, a God that forgives, a God that's Erech Apayim that has patience and takes a long time to get angry, V’Rav Hessed, VLo Azavtam/ and You did not forsake them even though they sinned against You. And now for our powerful pasuk: אַ֗ף כִּֽי־עָשׂ֤וּ לָהֶם֙ עֵ֣גֶל מַסֵּכָ֔ה וַיֹּ֣אמְר֔וּ זֶ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ אֲשֶׁ֥ר הֶעֶלְךָ֖ מִמִּצְרָ֑יִם וַֽיַּעֲשׂ֔וּ נֶאָצ֖וֹת גְּדֹלֽוֹת Even though they made a golden calf, and they said, “This is your God that took you out of Egypt” And yet, with Your great mercy, You did not forsake them in the Midbar. You could have just turned off the a.c. The cloud did not stop from guarding them, and the cloud of fire did not stop at night. Unbelievable! God continued to direct them in the desert, even though they were sinning at that very moment! That is the tremendous level of disgrace that God takes. Rashi in Yehezkiel ( 16, 19) says, The day the Egel was made, the manna came down, and they actually put the manna in front of the golden calf! And even so, God gave them manna the next day Can you believe that? The manna was going to the Egel , and God continued ton give them the manna. Unfathomable! This is how far God's tolerance and patience goes. Not humanly comprehendible. And yet we have to try our best to emulate that…
Today's class is dedicated in memory of my uncle, Albert D. Sutton, Avraham Ben Emma a’h May this class should be an Ilui Nesham for him. We're discussing the trait of God, that He has tremendous tolerance because He’s constantly being disgraced. In his Sefer Shaar Hayirah, on the topic of fear (10th chapter), the Reshit Hochma, (a student of Rav Moshe Cordevero, author of the Tomar Devorah), says that a pious man once said, Don't rebel against your master when he is watching you . The only problem is, God is always watching us- so never rebel. And he says that every breath that we take is really a breath of God. As the pasuk says in Devarim 8,3 כִּ֛י עַל־כׇּל־מוֹצָ֥א פִֽי־יְהֹוָ֖ה יִחְיֶ֥ה הָאָדָֽם׃ Man lives from what emanates from the mouth of God. That means that every second we're living not off the food that we eat, not off the drinks that we drink, but from the fact that God is putting energy into us. That was the lesson of the manna . God is the One that's giving us energy, not anything that we eat or drink. And if that's the case, he says, all of our breathing should be for God. That's what David Hamelech’s final words in Tehilim meant: Kol Ha Neshama TeHallel Ya/ All souls should praise God. The Midrash Raba says that Neshama can be read as Neshima - as in: For every breath we have to thank God. Because every breath that we take is a breath of God. That's the biggest sign of how frail and feeble we are. We are fragile. If we don't breathe for a certain amount of time, we can't survive. But who's putting the oxygen into us? God is breathing oxygen into us. And he goes on and quotes his Rabbi that God is called the God that’s disgraced, for the reason we discussed previously, that God is giving us the energy and we sin with the energy He gives us. He gives a mashal of a king that gives his servant money to buy bread in order to live on. But instead of buying bread, the servant uses the money to buy a stick, and then he hits his master with the stick- the stick that he bought with the money that the master gave him! Is there any servant worse than that? That's God. He gives us our life. He gives us our breath. He gives us our energy to use for ourselves to serve Him and ultimately be rewarded. And instead, we buy a stick with it, and hit Him and work against Him. And yet, with all that being said, God continues to ignore, to have patience and tolerance, and continues to benefit us. And of course, the ultimate lesson is going be that we, who are not a God, who didn't give anybody anything much, should have a level of patience towards those that torment us or go against us.
We've been speaking about the concept of tolerance , to be Sovel . As we mentioned from Rav Wolbe, a lot of this comes from the beautiful sefer Tomar Devorah, by Rav Moshe Cordevero, on the 13 attributes of mercy, based on the pasuk in Micha , Mi El Kamocha. The Pele Yoetz, under the topic of Devekut , says that a person should read the Tomar Devorah once a month, and try his best to live up to these Middot of Hashem. In Arot Elim, another sefer by the Pele Yoetz, he includes a shorter version of these 13 attributes, in order for one to review constantly. Furthermore, Rav Yitzhak Blazer, the great student of Rav Yisrael Salantar, also known as Rav Yitzhak of Peterburg, made a list of kabalot , as many great rabbis do, and on his list of things to work on was to work on his Ahavat Habriot/ loving your fellow people, and he too said that the way to act on this is to constantly review the sefer Tomar Devorah . So if that’s the case, we are going to try to do that; to work on the 13 Attributes of Mercy as they show up in the sefer Tomar Devorah. The first thing Rav Cordevero writes (in what we’ll call the introduction), is that a person is supposed to emulate his Creator, as it says when man was created, “ Let us make man, with our form and our image.” That means, in a sense (and of course it doesn’t really mean this), man is created in the image of God. We can imagine a man up there in the heavens, and there are certain, traits that are symbolized by that. Of course, God is not anything physical or human, but we are , in some way, in our form and our image, like God. But he says that it’s not enough to, so to say, look like. The main thing, he says, is to act like, and that's the job of this pasuk , Mi El Kamocha; to act like God, not just to have the potential that we were, so to say, created in His image. We have to act in that image. We have mentioned this recently, but we're now going to go into it in depth. The first Middah is called Mi El Kamocha / who is like You. This means that Hashem is what he calls Melech Ne’elav, a King that's disgraced, Sovel Elbon/God tolerates disgrace, to a point that's not fathomable. And he makes two points: 1-nothing is ever hidden from God's supervision, without a doubt. 2-there isn't a second that man is not being sustained from the sustenance that God gives him. And therefore, it never happened that man sinned, and at the moment he was sin, God was not giving the ability to sin against Him. God tolerates this and continues to give His bounty and allow the person to move and function. It’s not that God can't stop it at any second, because He can, as we see from the story of Yeravam, who had a sudden stroke. God should technically say, “If you're sinning, sin with your power, not with Mine.” Yet God continues to give His bounty, which is not fathomable. That's why God is called me Mi El Kamocha . The term El means both Baal Hessed and powerful . That means God gives Hessed, and He can take it back, but He doesn't. Before we go further into how a human being is supposed to act, we will expound upon the point of God constantly pumping energy into creation. It's the pasuk in Nehemiah, perek ט that we say every single day. אַתָּה־ה֣וּא ה׳ לְבַדֶּ֒ךָ֒ (את) [אַתָּ֣ה] עָשִׂ֡יתָ אֶֽת־הַשָּׁמַ֩יִם֩ שְׁמֵ֨י הַשָּׁמַ֜יִם וְכׇל־צְבָאָ֗ם הָאָ֜רֶץ וְכׇל־אֲשֶׁ֤ר עָלֶ֙יהָ֙ הַיַּמִּים֙ וְכׇל־אֲשֶׁ֣ר בָּהֶ֔ם You made the heavens and the heavens above the heavens, and all the hosts, the earth and everything that's upon it (lions and tigers, bears), the oceans, and everything that's inside of them ( all the deep sea creatures). And now for the four magical words: וְאַתָּ֖ה מְחַיֶּ֣ה אֶת־כֻּלָּ֑ם And You constantly give life to all of them. וּצְבָ֥א הַשָּׁמַ֖יִם לְךָ֥ מִשְׁתַּחֲוִֽים׃ And that’s why the heavenly beings bow to You . Because they know how much You are responsible for creation. In another sefer, Pardes Rimonim, written by Rabbi Cordevero (6 th gate, 8th chapter), he says, that this is the meaning of וּבְטוּבוֹ מְחַדֵּשׁ בְּכָל־יוֹם תָּמִיד מַעֲשֵׂה בְרֵאשִׁית God is constantly renewing creation. Because every day, God is pumping energy in for that day. And if God would not decide to rejuvenate creation, everything would stop. Before we go on to how human beings should be tolerant, we're going to further study God's level of tolerance.
We've been talking about the trait of Savlanut/ tolerance . Rav Wolbe, in his sefer Alei Shur ( vol 2 page 216), says that first a person has to condition himself to get the idea of tolerating others. But he says, a person also has to learn how to tolerate himself. What does that mean? Sometime a person is trying to work on a trait, such as tolerating people. He decided, “ Hey, that's a great thing to work on. I really need to work on tolerance. I don't have tolerance for people,” and he’s been working on that for the past few days. He is going to see that he is not as strong as he thought he was. You really can't beat this bad trait so quickly. So you might forget about it. You might not be so stable and you'll get Yetzer Hara attacks. So now what? He quotes a midrash, which is also quoted by Rabbenu Yona in Shaar Teshuva ( Shaar 2, אות כו ), explaining the mishna in Pirkei Avot: וּכְשֶׁאֲנִי לְעַצְמִי מָה אֲנִי, כְּשֶׁאֲנִי לִי לְהִשְׁתַּדֵּל לְתַקֵּן נַפְשִׁי בְּכָל כֹּחִי, וַאֲנִי הוֹגֶה בַּחָכְמָה בְּכָל עֵת, מָה אֲנִי, כִּי הַשָּגַת הָאָדָם קְצָרָה וְדַלָּה, וְעִם הַטֹּרַח וְהַתִּקּוּן יַשִּיג מְעַט מִן הַמַּעֲלוֹת. רְאֵה מִי אֲנִי וּמֶה חַיַּי כְּשֶׁאֲנִי לְעַצְמִי לְהִשְׁתַּדֵּל When am I for myself, what am I? Even when a person tries to fix himself, with all his strength, and is constantly working on myself, still he says, What am I? Because of my abilities are limited. With all the hard work I put in, I'm only going to produce a few good qualities. He gives a mashal of a very low grade field. Even with all the hard work you put in, and all that you do to try to fix it, it’s still only going to produce a very small crop. But if you don't work on it, then it's only going to produce weeds and thorns and thistles. And he says from Avot D’Rebe Natan perek טז on the Pasuk in Tehilim (103,14), where David Hamelech says כִּי הוּא יָדַע יִצְרֵנוּ God knows our Yetzer Hara, that it’s comparable to a king that gives a field to his servants and tells them to guard and watch it, and bring 30 pounds a year. And they work hard but they can only bring five pounds. The king asks,” What's going on? What'd you do? I asked you for 30 pounds!” And they say, “ Our master, the king, the field that you gave us is a very low grade. We tried our hardest, and with all our hard work, this is all we produced.” This is an important concept, says Rav Wolbe This field you gave us, it's low grade. And therefore, he says, “ Woe to someone that doesn't have tolerance with himself, who is very quick to despair from service of God entirely,” someone who says, “ Forget it. I tried to work on tolerance for two weeks and it's not working.” Even if he doesn't despair, when he pushes through, he's going to be depressed. And there's nothing that ruins service of God more than being down and depressed. He says, Human nature, is that when we start serving Hashem, we want fast results, instant gratification. We think, “I heard that you're supposed to pray with kavana, so I’ll just try, and Boom! I'm going to be able to pray all my prayers with kavana from beginning to end. And one by one, I'm going to go through Mesilat Yesharim and knock off every Middah. If I just stick to it by the end of the year I'll be a Gadol Hador.” Then, how despaired and frustrated we become when we don't see it happening. So we have to realize this important rule- that in everything that we're trying to do, slow and steady wins the race. You can't overload, you can't exaggerate. As the Gemara in Kedushin (17A) says, If you try to grab a lot you're not going grab anything. And if you try to get a little bit, you can get that little bit. And even with that little bit that we can do, we're going to stumble and mess up. But don't despair. Keep pushing forward. Now, at the same time, there is a catch: Don't now be overly tolerant with yourself and just accept the situation and become apathetic to change. Don’t say, “ Okay, that's it. I got a garbage field. I'm not working. I'm just going to sit down and throw in the towel.” No, I have to keep working steadily at it and fall and get up. As Mishleh says, (24,16) The Sadik falls seven times and he gets up . And if we stick to it, eventually we will be successful. That is this important rule called Tolerance with yourself. Have a great day.
We continue to discuss the topic of Savlanut , which we translated literally as to carry, to tolerate and to be patient with situation s that not to our liking. The Gemara in Masechet Shabbat brings the following braita: Those that are disgraced and don't disgrace back, that hear their disgrace and don't respond, that serve God out of love and are happy with yisurim/suffering. So these are three areas of tolerance; being tolerant of insults, or disgrace or tolerating suffering. And on them, it says the pasuk in Shoftim - And those that love God, it will big will be like the sun in its full shining. We mentioned in the past that the sun is the fullest expression of energy, yet here the person is seemingly not doing anything, he’s being quiet, but that quiet has the greatest of energy. Rabbenu Bachye in Parashat Vayikra (perek א pasuk ב ) explains as follows: He says that, as we know, the sun and moon were originally equal. Then the moon complained and said we can't have two equal kings. So what did God do? God made the moon smaller and the sun bigger. Rabbenu Bachye says that we see from this that the sun didn't respond, and because the sun was quiet while the moon was disgracing, it, the sun was rewarded and the sun shined. Therefore we say of the people that keep quiet, God will reward them with shining. The Chida says something very interesting ( Vayikra 10,13). He quotes from the Mesorah, which is an early Midrash that lists certain times that words show up on a rare occasion, always a theme. The word under discussion is Vayidom , which means to be quiet . The word Vayidom only shows up twice in Tanach - once in Vayidom Aharon, and another in Vayidom HaShemesh. Vayidom Aharon is when, lo alenu, Aharon loses his two sons on the opening day of the Bet HaMikdash, and he's quiet. He doesn't say anything. He just, so to say, tolerates that difficult situation. And Vayidom HaShemesh/ the sun was silent when Yehoshua stopped the sun. Why does it say the sun was silent? Because the sun, just by following its regular orbit, sings praise to God, is praising God. When it stops, the praise stops. So the sun is silent from its praise, so to say. That's the simple explanation. But the Chida has a deeper explanation, and says that the commonality between the two is that just like the sun was silent way back when, in creation, the moon asked how there could be two equal kings (the moon wanted to be in charge, but the sun was quiet), and because of that, the sun ended up shining, so too for Aharon. When he had this great challenge in life, in the words of the Chida, “ Due to his great piousness and humility, he didn't have anything to say. He was just quiet. ” And therefore, Aharon HaKohen ended up shining like the sun. Aharon HaKohen was shining because of the fact that he, like the sun, was Sovel/ tolerant, patient and held onto his difficult feelings. He was tolerant, patient, and held on. We add one more piece, from the Kurazi, written by Rav Yehuda Halevi as a conversation between the king of the Kuzars and a rabbi. In it, the rabbi says that Hashem says, “ I’m proud of the Jewish people.” And the king says, “ How could that be? How could God be proud of people? That doesn't sound right.” And the rabbi explains, “ If someone said, ‘God is proud of the sun,’ would that bother you?” And he says, “ No, that makes sense. Look what the sun does. Look how powerful the sun is. The whole world is living from the sun, the plants…everything needs the sun. Of course God should be proud of the sun.” So the rabbi says that the human beings that are spreading the word of God, the human beings that are acting in greatness, they're greater than the sun. And if God can be proud, so to say, of the sun, he should surely be proud of people. After the Rambam quotes this Gemara in the laws of De’ot, perek ה , he says that a person should be from the people that are insulted and and not respond, etc. And he says on them, the pasuk says, “ You are the Jewish people that I'm proud of. ” So God is proud of the Jews. When is he proud of us? He's proud of us when we're quiet and we tolerate. Have a wonderful day.
We've been talking about tolerating this week, and Rav Wolbe talks about how to view somebody who is suffering with physical or emotional distress. He brings the Gemara in Masechet Shabbat 88B that discusses.. those are disgraced and don't disgrace others , people that hear the disgrace and don't respond.. As two examples of people that tolerate. This term is used in connection with humble people like Moshe Rabbenu, that were disgraced and didn’t respond. It says, On God, he's disgraced . But then it says, Someone that serves God with love, and he's happy even when he's suffering. The pasuk says on him, they shine like the sun, shining like the sun that’s fully kinetic; it’s not potential at all. It's being brought out totally. One might think, he says, that shining like the sun would be said about someone who’s a super do-er, someone that's fully active, someone like the Energizer battery that doesn't stop, that just like keeps on moving. Yet, it’s this fellow, that's tolerating, whether it's the man tolerating disgrace and insults, or the man that's tolerating yissurim, on whom he says that these are the strongest men of all. Furthermore, the Gemara in Chulin 89A says, The world stands on somebody that's able to muzzle their mouth at a time of argument. So again, that's being Sovel something, to hold it inside. He says, We look at somebody who's suffering ( suffering as in physical and emotional pain) There are people that are, Lo Alenu , depressed, suffering with bipolar or all kinds of emotional illnesses, and they're regular people. They're not crazy. They're people that are suffering with mental illness. And we look at them as, in the Arabic terminology, hazit, or Yiddish, as nebach . You don’t look at them as the strong men. But in Rav Wolbe’s words, It’s possible that man that can tolerate is greater than the greatest activist. He says, God should save us from suffering. But we have to know that the one that's holding (he uses the word holding rather than tolerating), the pain, and holding with happiness is not broken . He is a Gadol of Gedolim. The man that’s lying in bed is not doing anything. But he might be on a higher level than the most wealthy in actions. David Hamelech says in Tehilim 119, 71, טֽוֹב־לִ֥י כִֽי־עֻנֵּ֑יתִי It was good for me that I was suffering, Rashi says It was good in my eyes, Sovel yissurim . In modern Hebrew the the word Sovel has loosely become to suffer (Google translates the words Sovel Yissurim as Suffers agony) but it really means, as we said before, the ability to carry the load of yissurim, tolerate or more correctly, to hold the load of suffering. The greatest of the great are Sovel Yissurim . The Gemara in Sanhedrin says Mashiach is sitting at the gates of Rome, being Sovel our sins. And the Tiferet Yonatan in Bamidbar (chapter 3, pasuk 5) says that Paroah’s reason for not causing the Levyim to be under the heavy load was that he wanted to make sure the Mashiach wouldn't come. The Savior wouldn't come from the Levyim if they were not suffering. And in the words of the Tiferet Yonatan, If he’s not holding or suffering the yissurim of the Jewish people, he’s not fit to be Mashiach. The ultimate greatest man, the Mashiach, is the man who is Sovel Yissurim . So therefore, when we, or others, are being Sovel Yissurim , has v’shalom , we should understand that it's no simple matter. It’s the sun at its brightest. It’s the strongest and greatest level, to be a true Sovel . Have a wonderful day and a Shabbat Shalom.
This week has been dedicated to the topic of Sevel/ tolerating. Rav Wolbe, in his sefer, Aleh Shor, says that we need to dedicate a special focus on Savlanut - tolerating situations or people- when it comes to our family. Because the more contact you have with somebody, the more you need to train yourself in tolerance. Your family is not like a friend that you meet from time to time, that occasionally might arouse some kind of uncomfortable feelings or frustrations. A family, and a household is constant. It's not just a good friend or a good neighbor. So how do we do that? He says that the focus of a person's marriage has to be developing this trait of tolerating , but not just tolerating an occasional line or whatever it may be. It means tolerating this person, carrying them through life. Rav Wolbe says that when a chatan would ask him what his focus should be on the day of his wedding, while standing under the chuppah , Rav Wolbe would say, “ You know what you should think? Think of carrying the yoke of a wife till 120, in all situations. And never take that yoke off.” He said that he bases this on a pasuk in Eicha (chapter 3, pasuk 27) ט֣וֹב לַגֶּ֔בֶר כִּֽי־יִשָּׂ֥א עֹ֖ל בִּנְעוּרָֽיו׃ It's good for a man to carry a yoke when he is young. And the Midrash Raba there says, Ol Isha/, the yoke of a wife. That means marriage. And it goes both ways. Each one is carrying the other one. And he says, That's why, in Hebrew, we call marriage Noseh Isha , Nisuin Literally, it means Carrying a Wife, because marriage means carrying one another throughout life, through every situation. This person is different than you. That's just the way it is. You're going to find different things (he's talking to men here), Your wife is late. She likes to talk a lot. She's lazy . It's hard for her to say goodbye at weddings …. (One of the challenges of separate weddings is that you can't find your wife. There are always men waiting outside for their wives. That's the way it is. You make up to meet with with your wife at nine o'clock but there's no time…) That's the way ladies are. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. So the Martian has to carry the Venetian, and the Venetian has to carry the Martian. They're just different. And if you don't have that understanding, you're in big trouble. As we mentioned from Rabbi Ades, when a person walks into their home, it’s an opportunity. It's an opportunity because it's a challenge. What's the challenge? The challenge is that people are just different. Men and women- every man and woman are different. And he says, people might have a challenge in their marriage and think, “ If only I could switch that other person,” but he says, This is not about one person or the other. This is universal. People are different and people have to carry each other. And the way to do that is a pasuk Mishleh 10,12, וְעַ֥ל כׇּל־פְּ֝שָׁעִ֗ים תְּכַסֶּ֥ה אַהֲבָֽה On all blemishes or lackings, cover with love. Before a wedding, women put on makeup, base and all the layers on top, to covers things up. Well, there's a makeup and base for a marriage. It's called Love . וְעַ֥ל כׇּל־פְּ֝שָׁעִ֗ים תְּכַסֶּ֥ה אַהֲבָֽה׃ You have to cover it all up , And you have to know that this person is for you. That is the way to have a successful marriage. He says, “ It's impossible that they won't be revealed- extreme counter forces, polar opposites, in traits, and how to deal with things.” There are different ways of dealing through life. Do you have a set bedtime or don't you have a bed set bedtime? How do you discipline? Do you discipline? What do you do? There are endless differences. How long should a meal take? Some people like to sit at a Friday night meal for four hours. Some people want be there for one or two hours. That's why there are so many fights about going to the in-laws. Everyone does things differently. Well, that's part of marriage. You're carrying your wife and you're carrying your in-laws. Carry means to tolerate . Tolerate doesn't mean ouch . We aren’t talking about the guy that's lifting weights and collapses under them. We are talking about the guy who’s lifting the weights, just standing there with a smile on his face. He's able to carry the load. This is what Shalom Bayit it is based on. His words are Kol Shalom Bayit Mushtetet, which means foundation, and it’s all about tolerance and patience. If you don't have patience and you don't have tolerance, you’ve got a big problem. So that's what we're working on. Have a wonderful day.
We are talking about the trait of Sevel , which is important for good middot/character traits. We have also discussed that it’s important for menuchat hanefesh/serenity . But when we talk about the term Menuchat Hanefesh , it’s not just about the concept of the peace of mind. There’s a term choli hanefesh/ referring to someone whose soul is sick, which is a term for mental illness. And Menuchat Hanefesh is the ultimate mental wellness. So let us discuss the concept of tolerating , as it refers to mental illness, and how this trait of Sevel will help us. One of the most common mental challenges of our time is anxiety. If I call someone close and dear to me on their cell phone three times, and they don’t answer, anxiety creeps in and I start to worry. What happened?? Were they kidnapped? Were they in a car accident? Who knows what happened Has V’Shalom…they didn't answer their phone three times! That's anxiety. But anxiety is a human phenomena that God put into us for a good reason - so that we should be concerned in dangerous situations. Otherwise, we’d just run into the street. So we need anxiety. The problem is when it gets blown out of proportion, when a little pussy cat looks like a tiger. And many people now have anxiety disorders. What exactly is going on? Anxiety comes from the inability to tolerate uncertainty- the uncertainty is there, but can we tolerate it? And we stress the word tolerate . You have that anxious feeling, but can you just hold it? There are two approaches to anxiety in therapy. One, more well known, is called CBT, Cognitive Behavior Therapy. The other, a little bit less known, is called ACT, which means Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. The difference, in one sentence, is that CBT works by helping you identify and change negative or destructive thoughts, whereas ACT holds that pain and discomfort are a fact of life, which means acceptance of the fact that there is a certain feeling of uncertainty involved. I'm not even going talk about it. I'm not going deal with it. I'm just going to say it's okay to have that anxious thought.. It goes even further to the extreme that none of us has ever experienced, but I heard from a psychiatrist that people have what's called psychosis , which means they're suffering from delusions or uncomfortable thoughts. They're aware of these thoughts, but more than the thought itself being a problem is the inability to tolerate the thought. One of the therapy techniques is to tell the person, It’s okay. You're going have this feeling that the floor is shaking under you, or that you're hearing voices, but it's okay to hear voices, just accept it. Baruch Hashem most people don't have to deal with that, so we won’t focus on that. Then there’s depression. Being depressed means having feelings of sadness. And what gets you more than the sad feeling is the inability to tolerate the sad feeling. Another pertinent term, created by psychologist Albert Ellis, is Low Frustration Tolerance or LFT . Someone with LFT is unable to tolerate unpleasant feelings or stressful situations. Ellis’ theory is that this is one of the main aspects of emotional unhealthiness, because we tend to seek instant gratification to avoid pain. But ignoring the fact and evading the situation now will just make it more problematic later. We all want avoid stressful situations. He theorizes that this is the main cause of procrastination. When people put things off, it’s because they want to avoid a difficult situation that gives them discomfort. So we want to push off anything that is not comfortable, because we can't tolerate it. That means we'll push off dealing constructively with the problem. Sometimes it means ending an unpleasant relationship, improving unhealthy lifestyles, moving on from dissatisfying jobs. All these things take going through an uncomfortable situation. People that suffer from ADD, may feel road rage. Or they can't wait on a line. But what's really going on is that for them, it's extremely uncomfortable. Another example is when our kids are bored. What do we try to do? We try to get the kids un-bored, but one of the training approaches says it's okay to be bored. Just hold on, and tolerate boredom. Finally, we have our favorite study, the Marshmallow Test, in which a psychiatrist took 50 children of ages four to five, put them in a room, and told each child that they could either have one marshmallow now, or, if they chose to wait 60 seconds, they could get two marshmallows later. And you watch the kids on video during those 60 seconds… some children popped the marshmallow in their mouth right away. Some kids licked it, or touched it. Other kids sat on their hands to try not to eat it. Some kids walked around the room The children were revisited 15 years later, and the study found that the children who had the self-control to wait for two marshmallows when they were young were found to have scored higher on their SATs, and were accepted into colleges more frequently. The children that couldn't wait and stuffed the first marshmallow in their mouth were in drug rehab or had other types of problems. And what's the basic principle? The children that could wait, were able to tolerate that uncomfortable feeling of wanting to eat a marshmallow and not having it- that’s what self-control is all about; Tolerating the uncomfortable feeling. So this is really Kol HaTorah Kulah on one foot- the ability to tolerate uncomfortable situations.
We are continuing with the theme of being Sovel / Tolerating x. We quoted the Elder of Kelm who said that the trait of Sovel is the source of all good character traits (as we discussed in the past two lessons) and it's the source of menucha / serenity and peace . How so? A pasuk in Bereshit says, יִשָּׂשׂכָר חֲמֹר גָּרֶם רֹבֵץ בֵּין הַמִּשְׁפְּתָיִם: (טו) וַיַּרְא מְנֻחָה כִּי טוֹב וְאֶת הָאָרֶץ כִּי נָעֵמָה Yisachar is like a donkey with strong bones, he sees that serenity and tranquility is good. And what does he do? וַיֵּט שִׁכְמוֹ לִסְבֹּל : He tilts his shoulder to carry the load. This pasuk is the first time the word Sovel shows up in the Torah, and Rav Sadok HaKohen says that the first time something shows up is the source of the concept. Yasachar is the tribe who carries the load of Torah. Very nice. He carries the load. But what does that have to do with peace and tranquility? If someone wants peace and tranquility, they don't carry a load, They sit down and relax, seemingly . But Rav Yerucham Levovitz (a student of the Elder of Kelm) says in his Sefer Da’at Torah that people make a mistake- they don't understand how character traits work in the human psyche. They think that menucha , emotional tranquility comes from giving the body rest. But it says it's the exact opposite. If your tranquility comes from physical contentment and fulfillment and having everything that you need, that's the source of all confusion . It’s the source of the opposite of menucha . If you are only used to serenity under certain conditions, and you need to have all those conditions met to have serenity, then when you don't have those conditions, you're going to be totally out of whack. For example, if you only know how to fly business class, you're going be quite miserable when you fly coach. If want train yourself to be able to enjoy a flight, train yourself by sitting in baggage class. If nothing bothers you, then you have menucha . I remember an older man from Europe who lived in Brooklyn, named Mr. Lowy. It was a cold day, and he walked with a limp and I said, “ Mr. Lowy, Why don't you go to Florida? Why are you in this cold weather in Brooklyn? Take a vacation.” And he said, “ I went through Siberia during the war time, through Russian winters without a coat. I'm in America now. And I have a coat- that's a vacation!” And that's the point. If you went through Siberia, you don't need Florida. And if you need Florida, you're actually not having Menuchat HaNefesh. When you come back from Florida, you start being feeling even more miserable about the cold in Brooklyn. So feeding your wants, he says, is like trying to put a fire out with oil. Yes, for a moment, the fire will go down, but it comes back even more fiercely. It's like trying to quench your thirst with salt water. For a moment it works, but then you get even thirstier. So what do we do? He says, Look to the outside world- how do they train a soldier? They don't train a soldier by giving him air conditioned cockpits. The Navy Seals have to go through a very heavy training course with no pleasures or extras . And then they are able to have clear minds and fight in all situations. He says that's what it means that Yisachar saw menucha is good. He saw what menucha means. He said, If want to have menucha, I have to be Sovel. I have to be able to tolerate difficult situations . The Mishnah in Pirkei Avot says (chapter 6, mishna 4), What is the way of Torah? Eat bread with salt, have water in a measure, sleep on the ground and live a life of pain. And then you'll toil in Torah . And that's menucha , because you don't need anything else. You've trained yourself to survive on less. He says that today in the world, we are so fragile. He says, a chatan that is missing his cuff links can't handle it. We can’t handle when every little thing doesn't go exactly the way we like it to. We think that we're making ourselves stronger and better by putting recessed heat in the bathroom, on the tile, so when we get out of the bathtub , our toes don't get cold… and everything that we have. We're constantly trying to avoid things, because we don't know how to tolerate them . We don't know how to tolerate. We're not talking just about tolerating insults- that was yesterday's class. We're talking about tolerating anything that doesn't go right. How do we tolerate pain? We take aspirin, or go running for a shot. But this inability to tolerate causes a lack of peace of mind, and not the peace of mind you would think. It's a heavy concept, to be continued...
In our previous lesson, we spoke of the trait of being Sovel , which we said has different meanings in English- either patience, tolerance of pain or carrying a load . And we explained from Rav Wolbe that there's really one theme. One who is patient, or one who is tolerating pain is, in essence, carrying a load. There's that that need to react, that uncomfortable feeling that you're just holding inside of you and being Sovel , carrying the fact that this person is dealing with you in a certain way. The Elder of Kelm says that this is the source of all good Middot and Rav Wolbe brings a source for the Elder of Kelm, from the Sefer Tomer Devorah , written by the great Kabbalist Rav Moshae Cordevero, where he discusses the 13 Attributes of Mercy delineated by the prophet of Micha. And the first trait is called Mi El Kamocha, Who is a God like You? He says that God is a King who is disgraced. He is Sovel Elbon / God carrie s or tolerates the disgrace in a way that's not humanly fathomable. And he makes two points. Point number one is that there is nothing that God does not supervise or see. Point number two is that there isn’t a second that man is not being sustained by God. So when we put that together, the equation comes out that at the very same moment that any one has ever sinned against God, God continued to pump energy into to the person. That means God allows the person to sin against Him, with the very energy that God gave him. Imagine someone driving a car that is controlled by you. You have to hold the button on you computer control system to control his car, and you're watching him on a video camera. He’s about to make a left turn, but you told him to make a right turn. What would you do? You’d take your finger off the button and not allow him to take the left turn. But God doesn't do that. God allows the person to sin. He says, Don't think God can't stop a person; He can cause a stroke in a millisecond, just a little microscopic brain clot and it's all over. And yet God continues to mashpia . That is, in his words, Savlanut / tolerance, patience and carrying, that cannot even be described. And that's Mi El Kamocha means. Who is a God like You? Who is a God that continues to bestow His bounty, even though He has the power to hold it back. And yet, God waits and is Sovel until the person repents. And he says, This is a trait that a human being has to have, Savlanut , to be disgraced and embarrassed to such an extent, and continue to bestow your bounty. And Rav Wolbe says, this is really a step further than the previous level. The first level is if somebody upsets you, someone says something that's upsetting or frustrating and you don't respond. You don't explode. This is more than that. He says, To continue to bestow goodness means you smile at that person. That's your goodness. He says, God is Noseh Avon/He carries the sin and without that the world would seize to exist. So too, he says, a person has a world around him; his coworkers, his siblings, his parents, his spouse, his teacher, his students. All of these people are his world, and they do upsetting, frustrating things and you have to hold it, he says. Otherwise you’re going destroy the world around you- just like there comes a time when a Hashem doesn't hold it, and that destroys the world, such as in the Dor HaMabul and Dor Hapalaga . For whatever reason, there comes a point in time where God doesn't hold it anymore, but we have to hold it, or it will destroy the world around us. And the example is, imagine you're having a meeting and somebody walks in 15 minutes late. So you could explode, but you didn't. But did you give him the same smile and hello as if he came on time? Sovel is to the extent that I continue to bestow my favor on that person, and he still gets the same warmth and smile, because I'm using the trait of God, Who continues to benefit us, even when we go against Him. And it takes the trait of Savlanut . Have a wonderful day.
Today we will share an Ahavat Yisrael thought related to Parashat Noah. The Torah describes Noah as a Sadik and a Tamim / righteous and perfect . The Gemara in Masechet Zevachim 116A says the word Tamim refers to his character traits and the word Sadik refers to his deeds. So he was perfect in his character traits and righteous in his deeds. That means he keeps the seven Mitzvot of Noah, and he had good character traits. Rashi, in Zavachim, when describing his good character traits (Tamim means Shalem/Perfect in his character), says Noah was Anav / humble , and he was a Savlan , and we will soon see exactly what that means. Sovel is the root of a few words in Hebrew. One is Savlanut, which we translate as patience . Another is the term Sovel Tsarot, which refers to a person who is tolerant of pain . So the word Sovel means to tolerate . Finally, a Sabal is a porter , which means to carry. So three English concepts: patience , tolerant of pain and carrying a load all have the same Hebrew root. How so? Rav Wolbe explains in his sefer Alei Shor vol 2, page 214, that having patience with somebody else means carrying a load a nd continuing to move on without getting tired of that load. When I'm dealing with my friends or siblings, or spouse or coworkers, quite often things happen that are not according to my taste, that are not comfortable for me, that don't fit with my nature. Or even worse, I might get insulted. Someone might tease me or taunt me or have a unjustified complaint. And rather than reacting or exploding I can be Sovel , and carry the load. When a person has an anger explosion, what's happening is that he's basically dropping the load. He can't carry the load of that difficulty- whether it’s friend that's bothering him or whatever the situation. The Elder of Kelm says in his sefer Hochma U’Mussar (vol 1 pg 433), “ How wonderful would it be if we would train ourselves in the trait of Sevel / tolerance, patience, carrying the load. He continues, This is the source of all good character traits. It's the source of menucha/serenity, and it's the source of all good qualities . All good middot come from this, because what happens is, in most situations when I react in the wrong way, what am I reacting to? An uncomfortable feeling (for example a person is bothering me) and I can't tolerate it. I can't hold it. When I'm standing online feeling impatient, stuck in traffic, or feeling road rage… it’s so difficult to carry that feeling that you just explode. And therefore, this Middah of Sevel , of tolerating is the source of all good middot. To the extent that in the Rambam’s letter to his son Rabbi Abraham, when writing about the negativity of machloket/argument , he says, Rather than argue “ Hitpa’aru B’Sevel/pride yourself in tolerating” because that is true strength and that's true victory. Rav Wolbe ends by saying a person should have a training session every day: Set aside 15 minutes a day to just tolerate. Just hold. Be patient with whatever the situation is and until you reach the point that you can delight in Sevel . That would be a wonderful thing to work on. Have a wonderful day in the Shabbat Shalom.
We're continuing in chapter one of the Chafetz Chaim’s sefer Ahavat Yisrael, talking about the negativity of Sinat Hinam/baseless hatred . He says, If we look deeply into this sin, we'll realize how detrimental it is, because it causes a spirit of contamination to come upon him . He continues, It's known that for every limb that a person does a Mitzvah with, a spirit of holiness rests upon that limb, and the opposite- If you do a sin, a spirit of contamination comes upon it. The source for the positive is Bamidbar 15,40 וַעֲשִׂיתֶ֖ם אֶת־כׇּל־מִצְוֺתָ֑י וִהְיִיתֶ֥ם קְדֹשִׁ֖ים לֵאלֹֽקיכֶֽם Doing Mitzvot brings kedusha.. And the opposite. This is true for every limb; If you listen to something improper with your ears, then a spirit of contamination goes on your ears, etc… This is true for individual limbs that a person's soul is not dependent on.They're not vital organs. Although no one wants to have a corrupted ear, you can survive without one. But when this spirit of contamination goes onto a vital organ like the heart, then the person is spiritually dead. Therefore, he says, there is a tremendous detriment in the sin of baseless hatred, because the sin of baseless hatred is fundamentally in the heart, and therefore it brings a spirit of contamination on the heart. And just as the heart is what pumps the blood into the whole body, your spiritual heart is what pumps spiritual blood throughout your body. Once the heart is contaminated, it pumps contamination into the entire body. That's why the sin of Sinat Hinam is so detrimental. The Chafetz Chaim mentions this concept in his introduction to volume three of Mishna Berura on Hilchot Shabbat , where he explains why it’s so severe, that if one is transgresses Shabbat, he is considered not part of the Jewish people. He says that Shabbat is all about our Emuna, our belief , and belief is a heart mitzvah. So when a person sins on Shabbat, it's has v’shalom like a heart attack. It's not like a person stubbed his toe. Certain sins are like when someone stubs his toe. No one wants to have a stubbed toe, but you could survive it. However, a heart attack, a brain attack, those are not things that one can survive. Therefore, Sinat Hinam is one of those vital organ sins, that one has to be so careful of. Have a wonderful day.
We continue in the Chafetz Chaim’s Sefer Ahavat Yisrael, chapter one, where he explains Don't hate your brother . Who's your brother? He says it’s Kol Adam B’Yisrael/all Jewish people , as it says in Avot D’Rebbi Natan, “ Don't say, “This Jew, I like; this one, I don't like… I like Torah scholars, I don't like ignorant people..” Rather, love all of them. One exception, is to hate the heretics. And actually in our prayers, every day we say Laminim V’Lamalshinim… to the heretics and the slanderers, there should be no hope. ” But of course, this is just a small sliver of the Jewish population. What is a “ Min?” The Chafetz Chaim says it’s someone who's he denies the Torah of God and denies His supervision. So as long as someone believes in the Torah and believes in God's Hashgacha, he is a card carrying Jew and he's not allowed to be hated. The Rambam, in his commentary on Mishnayot Sanhedrin says, “ As long as a person is not a heretic, he's part of the Jewish people, and one must love him, have mercy on him and all the love and brotherhood has to be focused on him. ” And he ends with these strong words: “ Even if he did whatever it may be, he did a out of desire. This man is eating in unkosher restaurants….This man is living a life of promiscuity and immorality, but it's because he has a strong desire, or his Yetzer Hara overtook him. He's doing all kinds of fiendish activities, things that we can't even say with our lips, but he's still a believer. There are a lot of believers that fall. There are a lot of believers that can't control themselves. They have addictions, severe addictions, behavioral addictions, all kind of issues…. But as long as they're still believers, we have no right to hate them, and we have to love them. That's a tall order. David Hamelech says, “ Who do I hate? Those that hate God, I hate. ” Very few Jews fall under that category, that say, I hate God . There are some, but they are few and far between. And therefore, we go back to our general rule: Any Jew you see is innocent until proven guilty, and you have to love him, regardless of what country he comes from. We can't stress that enough. People have a baseless hatred, a dislike or disdain for people that come from countries that they're not familiar with, or talk with a different accent, or eat different foods, and so on and so forth. And none of those differences are an excuse for Sinat Hinam . The only excuse is if he goes under the category of someone who denies God's Torah and His supervision. And even then, if you find that man who came from communist Russia, who was trained in communist schools and doesn't believe, he has a different status- he’s called a Tinok Shenishba/, someone that was taken captive, and he's not responsible. So you have to do your due diligence before you decide to hate. Err on the side of caution and love them. Have a wonderful day.
We are now in chapter one of the Chafetz Chaim’s Sefer Ahavat Yisrael. We mentioned yesterday that the Chafetz Chaim is of the opinion that if a person hates his friend in his heart, that is transgressing the negative commandment of Don't hate your friend in your heart, but if you tell him that you hate him, then you aren’t transgressing that negative command. To be clear, that is still something wrong. The Rambam says it’s an annulment of the positive commandment to love your friend like you love yourself because if you hate him, you don't love them. But there's a difference between not doing a positive, and doing a negative. They are two different things. If I don't eat matza , that doesn't mean I ate hametz . Not doing a positive doesn't mean you’ve automatically done a negative. So if you tell your friend, “I don't like you, ” you did not transgress hating your friend in your heart, because it’s not in your heart. On the other hand, you don't love him, so you are annulling the positive commandment of loving your friend. But what are you supposed to do when you don't like somebody? Keeping it inside your heart is no good, telling him you hate him is no good... So what should you do? The Rambam says clearly that keeping it inside is the worst thing to do. So what do you do? The Chafetz Chaim says you have to go and tell him quietly, in a soft way, “ Why'd you do this to me?” Without exploding or screaming or yelling. And then, he says, after you did that, erase it from your heart. You told him, you made your protest, you said what you had to say. It’s interesting that the Or HaSadikim, in Shaar Hasina, says that Even if the friend did not excuse himself and he did not apologize, don't hate him, because now that you told him, who knows, maybe he'll fix it. He'll think about it. But that's it. Your job is just to tell him your complaint. So, as we say, air your grievances and that's it. That's what you're supposed to do. The Rambam says that is what we call the regular responsibility. But there's something called Middat Hachasidut, a higher level, which the Rambam says ( in the laws of De’ot, Halacha 9), is that you don't even go over to him. In in your heart, you work on yourself and you forgive him, and you don't even tell him anything. That's Middat Hachasidut. You don't have to tell him. It’s not your job to fix it. It's your job to get the hatred out of your heart. Most people can't get the hatred out of their heart until they tell the person, and air it out. But if you are capable of doing that, then you're fine. And actually, this way of dealing with it is almost clear from the pasuk, because the pasuk says, Don't hate your friend in your heart, and the next words are, Hoche’ach Tocheach/ rather, rebuke him . Rav Wolbe says that the word Hochacha/rebuke really means to clarify, to make something clear. And sometimes (and this is an important lesson), you don't have all the information and he doesn't know all the information. So when you have a problem with somebody, the first thing to do is clarify. Like, Why didn't you invite me to your wedding ? I did invite you to our wedding. (This happened to me). Well, I didn't get an invitation … (Luckily we have Excel sheets) So just to make sure, I copied and paste from the Excel sheet and I sent it over. And he saw that I sent the invitation. Not that we were fighting about it, but I just wanted to make it clear. I wanted to get that off my chest. Now, of course I could have filled out the Excel sheet afterwards, but I don't know to what length we suspect people. The bottom line is, quite often there are misunderstandings. And if you don't air your grievances, you'll never come to clarity. That's what Hoheach Tocheach et Amitecha means. Clarify things with your friend and when we clarify things, the hate will hopefully disappear. Have a wonderful day.
Now that we have finished the holiday season, we are starting on a regular track of using a specific Sefer written on the topic of Ahavat Yisrael called Ahavat Yisrael, written by the Chafetz Chaim. The Chafetz Chaim wrote many, many books. He’s named after his Sefer about Lashon Hara, entitled The Chafetz Chaim, based on the pasuk, “ Mi Ha’Ish HaChafetz Chaim/Who is the one who wants life? The pasuk answers, “Guard your tongue from evil. ” His real name is Rav Yisrael Meir Kagan. He wrote the Mishna Berurah , a famous halachic work, and he wrote another 30 or 40 books, one of which is called Ahavat Yisrael. In his clear way, he explains this mitzvah. He starts off discussing the negative, like we say, Sur M’Ra/ stay away from evi l, V’Aseh Tov / and do good And he quotes a pasuk, one of the 613, “ Do not hate your brother in your heart. ” This mitzvah, he says, includes that one cannot hate any Kosher Jew , because the word Achicha/your brother doesn't mean your brother of flesh and blood, it obviously includes all Jews. So why does it say the word Achicha ?The Gemara learns from this word, Achicha that’s he’s your brother in Mitzvot, meaning he’s a good kosher Jew. (We'll see later to exclude one who is not considered an Achicha ) The Chafetz Chaim is of the opinion that the Torah only warns us on a Sina B’Lev/a hatred in your heart, which is seemingly counterintuitive. He says, if one hits his friend and curses him out, there's a separate isor for that. You're not allowed to hit your friend, and you're not allowed to curse your friend, but if you have done so, you have not transgressed this sin of don't hate your friend in your heart. What happens if you hated your friend and that brought you to punch him? Or you hated your friend and that brought you to curse him? This is a argument among the Acharonim, whether it’s a double sin or not. The Sefer Hikre Lev says that if a person ended up punching his friend, he didn't hate him in his heart, because he revealed the hatred. So we're not going to get you for “don't hate your friend in your heart.” The question is, how could it be that it’s only this sin if I hate someone in my heart, but if I tell him clearly, “I hate you,” that's not this sin? It almost sounds like that's okay. Well, it's not okay, but you're not transgressing that sin. The explanation given by Rabbenu Bachye in Kar Hakemach on the topic of Sinat Hinam is that hatred in the heart is much more dangerous because the person doesn't know how to be wary of him. And furthermore, the sefer Yad Kitana from the Ramban Hilchot De’ot (chapter 7, Halacha 4) tells us that when it stays in the heart, it grows and grows and explodes and can get much worse. There's an interesting difference between these two reasons. If the reason it’s a sin is because your friend won’t know to be careful from you, then you have to tell him that you hate him. If you tell someone else that you hate him, then you didn't accomplish the purpose of getting it out. But if the reason why I can't keep it in is because it's going explode, then if I tell my therapist how much I hate him, that's okay. It's not in my heart anymore, I'm sharing with my therapist. The fellow that I hate may not know to be aware of me, but it's not going to explode because I'm talking to my therapist about it every week. So while there may be a difference in the reasons why it’s a sin, it’s an opinion, and it’s the opinion of the Rambam in the sefer Mitzvot, (negative commandment 302) and the Sefer Hinuch (Mitzvah 238). They both hold that expressed hatred does not fall under this negative transgression. So this is important because we may see a someone tell a guy, “I don't like you,” and we think he's terrible, You may think it’s a more refined and better etiquette to hate a person and not tell him. But that's actually worse. And that's why I'm stressing this- because hating people in the heart is worse of the two.. That's all in the world of the Rambam. But on the other hand, the Ramban in Vayikra on the pasuk says clearly that the only reason why it says, “ Don't hate your friend in your heart,” is because that's the more common case. And many others agree that the word Bilvavecha/in your heart is just an example, that even if it's in your heart and you didn't even do anything, you're still sinning But that’s not to say that if you let it out, you don't transgress it. The bottom line is that the Chafetz Chaim seems to go with the approach that it's only if it's in your heart. And the Chafetz Chaim says that you have to tell the person, so that he's protected, and then you have not transgressed this sin to its fullest extent. Of course, it's not nice to tell someone that you don't like him, but you're not transgressing if it's not in your heart.
Parashat Bereshit has the first story of murder. Kayin kills his brother, Hevel because he's jealous that his brother's offering was accepted. Since everyone was new to the game, when God saw Kayin’s jealousy, He came to give him a little pep talk after his korban was not accepted and said, “ Why You angry and why has your face fallen?” Why do you look despondent?” What kind of question is that? He just tried to bring an offering to God, and God didn't accept his offering while his brother's offering was accepted. God gives the answer and says, “ If you do good, you'll be uplifted.” What does that mean? Rav Wolbe, in Aleh Shur (vol1) quotes Or HaHayim HaKadosh that says, “ If you are from the quality of goodness, all your deeds will rest upon them, the quality of goodness, and they'll be uplifted on their own.” And this is the key line- Because Holiness doesn't need the approval of others. If you're doing something right, you don't need anyone else to pat you on the back. The right rises to the top. Now, this is a tremendous hiddush because God is the One that didn't accept his offering. A person could, so to say, feel that he’s not accepted by God. But it doesn't make a difference. I don't even need God's approval, because of what I'm doing this right, and I focus on what I'm doing, it'll naturally lift itself up. I don't need anybody else. Therefore, why be jealous of your brother? Why look at your brother’s approval rating, or how many thumbs up he got, how many likes he got, or any of the many approval seeking methods that we're constantly engaged in. The Or HaHayim brings a proof for this concept, from a story in the Gemara Baba Metzia 85b, that discusses a certain rabbi who was allowed to watch what was going on in the heavens as the great rabbis were going up to what's called Yeshiva Shel Malah, the Yeshiva Above. And the rabbi that gazing was told, “ Do not look at the chair of Rebi Chiya. His chair is too holy . You can't even look at it.” He asked, “ How do you know which is the chair not to look at?” Because all the other chairs have angels lifting them up, but Rav Chiya’s chair lifts up on its own. He was somebody in the Gemara that didn't care about what other people said. He was the one that went from town to town and taught young children Torah. He made sure Torah would not be forgotten. He didn't care what people might say. He didn't care if he was in the limelight. He didn't care if he was with the big boys. He did what he needed to do. And when you do what you need to do, and you know that what you're doing is right, it naturally rises to the top, and you won't care about other people say. You won’t be jealous of other people's positions. If Kayin would've gotten the message, he never would've killed his brother. But it seems, as the pasuk continues, “ And if you don't do good…” and that's what happened to Kayin. And our lesson is. If you do what's right, say it. It'll lift you up . Don't look at other people. Don't be jealous of other people. You have, with your goodness, the ability to rise to the top. Shabbat Shalom!
Yesterday we quoted how the continuation of the holiday of Succot is Shemini Aseret, and the concept that God says, קשה עלי פרידתכם Kasheh Alai Pridat’chem It's difficult on Me, the separation.” We discussed that it’s not just that God separates from the Jewish people, but also when the Jewish people start separating from each other after the holiday. The sefer Ahavat Shalom , in Parashat Emor adds an additional piece: Why does it say Kashe Alai Pridatchem/ You're separating is difficult on Me? What is meant by ‘ on Me ?’ He explains that sometimes the cause of the dissension is an argument revolving around the Mitzva. One person says this is the right way to do the Mitzva, and the other one says that 's the right way to do the Mitzva, and at times, that can bring about tremendous dissension. And that's what means. Kashe Alai - It hurts when I'm the reason behind the arguments. Imagine a family where the children have a rotation system for taking care of the parent, and they get into fights over the rotation system. That hurts the parent more than anything else; that they themselves are the cause of the dissension. And the same thing is true with Hashem. It says about the Torah, “ The ways the Torah are sweet and all of its ways are shalom/peace.” This is an important point that cannot be stressed enough. We sometimes use religion as a cause for arguments, but it's usually not the religion that’s the cause. It's a misunderstanding or misuse of religious information. For example, there's a Zohar that is understood (and it’s not so simple) that one is not allowed to bring a goy into the Succah. There are those that understand that it doesn't mean just bringing a goy into the Succah as a housekeeper to clean, but rather, it means to invite the goy as a guest to your Succah. But again, Zohars always have to be understood. I was told that explanation in the past, and someone recently told it to me in the name of Chacham David Choueka from Mexico. So it’s a zohar, it's a minhag Hasidu t, it's an extra, it’s definitely not a Halacha. But then somebody hears, in shul, that you can't bring the housekeeper into the Succah. And then he comes home all excited to tell his wife No housekeepers in the Succah! His poor wife has three families to clean up after, and she needs help…. And now this new chumra comes along and they're fighting. That's not what religion is about. It’s a Kashe Alai Predachtem/ it hurts God when the argument was caused by Him. That's not what He meant. And that's why we have to understand how to apply what we hear. If religion is causing fights, it's probably not being done correctly. Of course, there are exceptions. There are times when someone's a Kofer and you have to protest. But let's go with the rule, not the exception. The rule is The ways of God are sweet and all its pathways are peaceful . And if you have any questions, find a good rabbi to discuss with him how to make things work out. Have a wonderful day.
Today we have a post - Succot, Ahavat Yisrael thought. Shemini Aseret is called the Eighth Day because it's a continuation of Succot, but really, it's its own holiday. We don't sit in the Succah (in Eretz Yisrael) and we say Shehechiyanu because it's a separate holiday. What is the purpose behind the holiday? Rashi brings down that it’s like a king that invited his children to a meal for a certain amount of time, and when came time to leave, He said, “My children stay one more day.” קשה עלי פרידתכם literally, It's hard for Me, your separation.” Simply, this means the king has difficulty separating from his children. But the Sefer Ahavat Shalom (and many others) say the difficulty of the separation is not regarding the the father and the children, but rather that it hurts the father to see his children separate. What does that mean? A father wants his children to get along. That's every father and mother's dream- that their children get along with true unity and true family love. But if, heaven forbid, there is some kind of divisiveness, what does the father do? It pains him greatly. He wants nothing more than have love and unity among his children. So he decides to bring them all together, to have a family meal together. And he talks to them about the negatives of arguments and divisiveness. He brings the family back together again. And through the meals as it says, ועל כל פשעים תכסה אהבה On all faults, love covers. They're in a good mood. They're eating, they're drinking. And if that's what a regular father does, how much more so with Hashem, who wants nothing more than bringing His children together. That's the purpose of Succot. The purpose of the holiday of Succot was to get us together- whether with the four species that unite us, or the Succah, as we discussed. And now God says, As Succot is over, it’s hard for Me to see you separate. You're leaving the Succah. There are no more Arba Minim. It hurts Me. I want another day, and we're just going to devote this day to staying together. What do we do on that day? That day is Simchat Torah That's the day that we dance with the Torah, because there's nothing that unifies people more than the Torah unifies. People who learn together are united. Torah is a powerful force to unite. One of the sources is, as Rav Yaakov Kaminetsky said, that the 12 flags were placed specially around the Mishkan, with the Torah in the center, because what unifies everyone is the Sefer Torah. So that's what we do. It’s the thing that can keep us going. The Simchat Torah that we have, the learning that we do together will keep us together. And that's why God made an additional day. So now, post-holiday season, let's not forget how much our Father invested in making sure that His children get along. Have a wonderful day.
This Saturday night is Hoshana Raba, which is connected to Achdut . Rav Yerucham Olshin, in his Sefer Yerach L’Moadim (page 533) explains a fascinating concept. In Parashat Ki Tetzeh (21/13) the Torah tells us about the Yefat Toar, וּבָ֥כְתָ֛ה אֶת־אָבִ֥יהָ וְאֶת־אִמָּ֖הּ She cries over her father and her mother. The Zohar tells us that this is symbolic of the Jewish people doing teshuva , crying in the month of Elul. The father refers to God and the mother refers to Knesset Yisrael, which literally means the gathering of the Jewish people . The Sefer Shelah HaKadosh explains that although the Jewish people down in this world look like they're separate, in the heavens above, in the secret of their souls, they're really united and they're one. So when there’s a separation down here amongst Jews, it impacts a separation in the heavens above. As such, there are two aspects of teshuva. One is to fix the sins that impact on our relationship with God, and the other is to fix the sins that cause of the separation between the Jewish people. He says that the first 10 days are Aseret Yeme Teshuva, but there are another 10 days from after Yom Kippur to Hoshana Raba. The first 10 days are to work on our disconnect with God, and the second 10 are to work on the disconnect from man to man. This continues the theme of unity that we've been talking about until now, with the Lulav and Etrog , Aravot and Hadassim that symbolize unity, and also the Succah- as we mentioned, the whole Jewish people could fulfill their obligation with one Succah. He adds a beautiful thought: on Hoshana Raba, which is the final judgment day, we bang the Aravot because symbolize the lips. What do the Aravot have to do with lips? Mainly, we are talking about fixing the divisiveness among the Jewish people, which is all about Sinat Hinam , and the Chafetz Chaim says that the main cause of Sinat Hinam is Lashon Hara. Therefore, our job on Hoshana Raba is to fix our lips. That's the Aravot . And as we mentioned in the past, we are supposed to bang the “lips” on the ground. If someone says something that bothers you, what should you do? Put dirt in your mouth, put a cork in your mouth. Don't respond. That's the fixing of the lips. And he brings down a beautiful thought from the Gaon of Vilna. There are different areas where our speech is made- we pronounce things with our teeth, with our lips, with our palate, and our throats ( the tongue is in a separate category as it’s the main part). The letters that come out of the teeth are Zayin, Samech, Shin and Resh. Then we have letters that come from the lips. Bet, Vav, Mem and Peh . Then we have the letters that come from the Palate-the Gimmel, Yud, Chaf, and Kuf . The Alef, Heh, Chet and Ayin come from the throat. (The tongue letters are Daled, Tet, Lamed, Nun and Taf ) He says that the word Succah has a letter from the four enabler units. It has a Samech from the teeth letters, It has a Vav from the lip letters. It has a Chaf from the palate letters and the Heh from the throat letters. The point is that we're trying to fix the different parts of the body that are involved in speech. Because, again, the main theme of Succot is to fix the divisiveness that’s comes from speech. One last little tidbit is that on Shabbat Mincha we say Atah Echad V’Shimcha Echad, Umi K’Amcha, Goy Echad B’Aretz. You are One, Your Name is One, and who is like your people Israel, A unique nation on earth? Why do we say this on Shabbat? One explanation is that when the Jewish people are goy echad b’aretz/when we are united, then it brings about that Hashem Echad U’Shmo Echad. Since Shabbat Mincha is a time that symbolizes Mashiach’s times, that is why we talk about that concept. (There are three Shabbats, that we’ve mentioned in the past- the Shabbat of creation, the Shabbat of Torah, and the Shabbat of Mashiach). The Shabbat of Mincha is the Shabbat of Mashiach, so we talk about the Jewish people being united. That will bring about the Oneness of God and the Oneness of His Name. So B’Ezrat Hashem, we will dedicate ourselves, this Shabbat and the following Sunday, to being cognizant and introspective of the concept of Lashon Hara and B’Ezrat Hashem that will give us a good final judgment. Have a wonderful day, Shabbat shalom and a pitka tava , which means a good note because the notes are given out on the judgment day of Hoshana Raba. All the best.
I'd like to put together two famous midrashim , to come away with a beautiful lesson in Ahavat Yisrael. The first midrash, which we've mentioned before, is that the Arba Minim/the four species correspond to four types of Jews. One of them, the Etrog, has taste and smell, which corresponds to a Jew who has Torah (which is taste) and good deeds ( which is smell). The Lulav , which comes from a date palm. It has flavor (from the date) but no smell, corresponding to our Jew who learns Torah, but does not do good deeds. Our next Jew is the Hadas , that has a good smell but doesn't have any flavor or any fruit. And that's why it says Esther is Hadassa . Because a lady’s job is to do maasim tovim/ good deeds, not necessarily to learn Torah, therefore she doesn't have the fruit. And lastly, we have the Arava that has no taste and has no smell; that's the Jew that doesn't have either Torah or good deeds. We put all four species together and that creates the unity of Jewish people. Then there's another midrash that says that the four species correspond to four main organs in the body. The Lulav , which stands tall, corresponds to the spine, the Etrog , the pri etz hadar/ the beautiful fruit symbolizes the lev / heart . A “ Lev Tov encompasses everything” The Hadassim that look like eyes correspond to our eyes. And the Aravot are our lips. And the Aravot become wilted first because our lips are the things that get us into the most trouble. “ Life and death is the hands of the tongue. ” So those are the four species as symbols of the four organ parts of the body. And now we take the next leap, which is that if we view these four species as one body (that's what these species symbolize- Each organ has its own function and together they create the human body), then our four types of Jews also create one body, called the Jewish people. And that's the Mussar takeaway. The Yerushalmi tells us that antidote for Sinat Hinam is to realize that we're all one body. And just like if the right heel stubs the left toe, the left hand doesn't go and stab the right heel for stepping on the left toe. It's all one body, that would be ludicrous. So too, the Jewish people are one body. So these two midrashim link together, looking at the four species as organs in a body, and the four different types of Jewish people, in a sense, also as organs of one body- the body of the Jewish people. That's the Achdut/unity lesson that we take from the four species, as it pertains to being a human body. Have a wonderful day and a Hag Sameach.
This Succot is a very special Succot, because it's a Succot that comes after Shemitta . The pasuk tells us in Devarim 31/10 וַיְצַ֥ו מֹשֶׁ֖ה אוֹתָ֣ם לֵאמֹ֑ר מִקֵּ֣ץ ׀ שֶׁ֣בַע שָׁנִ֗ים בְּמֹעֵ֛ד שְׁנַ֥ת הַשְּׁמִטָּ֖ה בְּחַ֥ג הַסֻּכּֽוֹת Moshe commanded them saying, “At the end of seven years, on Succot (in the year after Shemitta) gather the people.” So there's a special mitzvah, once in seven years, to gather the entire Jewish people. The king gets up and reads to them from Sefer Devarim . It’s called Mitzvat Hakhel and it's done on the holiday of Succot. It’s not a coincidence that Kohelet is read by many on the holiday of Succot, as Kohelet has the same word as Hakhel . What is it that Hakhel does for us, that specifically connects to Shemitta ? For one thing, we're joining and gathering everyone together. Rambam writes in Hilchot Hagiga (chapter 3, Halacha 6) that the king is a messenger from God, and we have to stand united, like at Har Sinai, with fear and trepidation. So every seven years, it’s a repeat of Har Sinai, and that happens during holiday of Succot. What is it about the Succot specifically after Shemitta that allows us to have a repeat of Har Sinai? Rabbi Schorr, in his Sefer Lekach V’Libub , on the holiday of Succot (page 59), explains that there are things that stop us from achdut/ uniting . One thing is that we chase desire. As Rabbenu Yona says in Shaare Teshuva, based on a pasuk in Mishleh 18,1, “ לְֽ֭תַאֲוָה יְבַקֵּ֣שׁ נִפְרָ֑ד בְּכׇל־תּ֝וּשִׁיָּ֗ה יִתְגַּלָּֽע׃ One who is searching for desires becomes separated .” If I have my own agenda, my own desires, my own wants, that causes me to separate from people, because I'm being driven by the desire. And people that are driven by desire ignore other people's wants and needs. That's one reason why we get into divisiveness. The second reason is a lack of bitachon, a lack of relying on God which is a source of jealousy and hatred. When I rely on Hashem, I don't have jealousy or hatred, because I realize that everything comes from God, and I don't get into arguments. Shemitta gives us both of these lessons: Number one, we don't work for the year, and therefore we rely on God. And secondly, having a limited amount of food, and limited pleasures during the Shemitta year (because we're abstaining, because we don't have as much as we usually have in the Shemitta year), also bring us to achdut . It brings us to a unifying force. Shemitta has those two factors, and Succot further accentuates those two factors. As we mentioned, the holiday of Succot is about uniting in one Succah, and uniting the four species. The holiday of Succot is about bitachon, relying on God. So therefore, the holiday of Succot in a regular year is there to continue the important lessons of Shemitta, which we had last year. Now one might say, “ Hold on, I'm not on the Shemitta program. I live in America. My loans were canceled- I wrote a prozbul. I didn't have that either.” But, in the words of Rabbi Schorr, words that he wrote close to 10 years ago (which was before the Shemitta before this past one), discussing the previous Shemitta, “ The Hinam that we see in the year of Shemitta…God brings a tightening of parnasa on people even outside of Eretz Yisrael.” Unbelievable. If we would've known this, we could have shorted the stock market or something. If we knew that there'd be a recession, or inflation happening, because of Shemitta…wow! Why is it so? He says that it’s because this is a year that you're supposed to work on Bitachon, and it's not only for the people of Israel but worldwide. We’re going to have to work on our bitachon and relying on God, so things get tougher in a Shemitta year. Unbelievable. We were the beneficiaries of this past Shemitta, whether we lived in Israel or not, (especially those of us that helped support the Shemitta movement). So Succot is the time, especially after a Shemitta year, to further strengthen these two important points - of not chasing desire, - and relying on God. And with those two important points, we will strengthen our Ahavat Yisrael, our love for our fellow man. Have a wonderful day and a Hag Sameach.
Today we have another class on connecting the holiday of Succot to Achdut/unity . Yesterday we spoke about the actual Succah. But as we know, there's another Mitzvah on Succot, which is the Arba Minim , and they also symbolize unity. The four species, as the midrash tells us, correspond to four different types of people. Like the four species, there are some people that have taste and smell- Taste referring to Torah, smell referring to Mitzvot. Then there are people who have taste and not smell. Some have only smell and no taste, and others have neither smell nor taste. And each one of the four species corresponds to one of them. The Etrog has a taste and a smell. The Lulav has a taste and no smell. The Hadas has a smell and no taste, and the Arava has neither. And on the holiday of Succot, we bind them all together as a symbol that all the Jewish people need to be bound together and influence each other for the better. And why is it that on the last day of the holiday we bang the Aravot ? There’s a joke about this, with either a positive twist or a negative twist depending on which camp you want belong to. The positive twist is that we bang the Aravot because this Arava , which has no taste and has no smell, and symbolizes the Jew who doesn't do enough mitzvot (that a smell comes from it), and doesn't learn Torah, now that he is bound together with the other three, he's so uplifted that now we can do a service with him alone. That's the upbeat approach. The pessimistic approach is that we tell the Arava , “ You've been around the three other types for a full week, and you still remain the same Arava with no taste and no smell? Now we're going beat you and you're going to get five lashes from being pounded on the ground. ” Those are jokes, but the bottom line, which is real, is that we want all Jews to unite together and to influence each other for the good on the holiday and therefore we have these sign of unity, firstly in the Succah, which we spoke about yesterday and symbolizes that all the Jews could be together in one Succah, and also have the four species, which represent the four types of Jews. Both aspects of the holiday have the symbolism of unity. Regarding Succot and Shalom , Rabbi Dessler explains that one of the reasons we have dissension is because we're focused on the physical aspects of this world, which causes jealousy and hatred, etc. But when we go out into the Succah and we lower our physical standards and don't stress worldly matters, it’s a great source of bringing peace. That's why it's not just the Mitzvah of the Succah that has the power to bring unity. It's also the aspect of limited physicality that enables us to unify with each other. And that's the power of the Succah-That message of Succot, which he calls Bitul HaYesh nullifying the worldly existence, is the source of the shalom that the Succah has. And to continue with the shalom theme, it's no coincidence that the Succah that we sit in reminds us of the clouds of glory. The clouds of glory came in the merit of Aharon HaKohen, who was Ohev Shalom V’Rodef Shalom, he loved peace and chased peace , and therefore his trait of peace is infused into the Succah. Aharon was known as making peace among the Jewish people, and the Shalom Bayit of husbands and wives was enhanced by Aharon HaKohen. As it says about the Mitzvah of Succah, if it’s done properly, it can help one’s shalom bayit. So let us take advantage of all the shalom aspects of the Succah: -The unifying force of the Succah because all Jewish people could fulfill their Mitzvah in one Succah, -The unifying force of the four species, -The fact that we don't stress physicality, -And the spiritual force of Aharon Hakohen… All those factors together allow us to get the shalom , the peace of the Succot, and that's what we are aiming for. Have a Shabbat Shalom and a Hag Sameach.
Rav Chaim Pilaggi, in his sefer Moed L’Kol Chai ( chapter 20) discusses a beautiful concept connecting Ahavat Yisrael to the holiday of Succot , quoting from a rabbi called Lachmei Todah . He says that the Succah symbolizes unity, because it comes to remind us of the clouds of glory that engulfed the entire Jewish people and carried them as one unit . And that's why it says, “ The entire Jewish people can sit in the Succah.” The Gemara learns from this that technically, if you have a large enough Succah, the entire Jewish people could fulfill their obligation in one Succah. This hints at the unity factor of the Succah. Additionally, when the word Succah , is spelled סכה (without a Vav ) using the concept of Mispar Katan( reducing the number to its lowest value) , then the ס Samech which is 60, becomes a 6. כ Chaf ( usually 20) becomes a 2 , and the ה Heh is 5. 6+2+5= 13, the numerical value of אחד Echad / One . Again, this shows us that the Succah symbolizes unity. And the Gemara in Masechet Avodah Zara says that at the end of time, the nations of the world will complain that they want an opportunity to prove their loyalty. God will says, “ I'll give you an easy mitzva. It's called a Succah. ”Why is that the one? Because it’s something that they can’t connect to. They cannot connect that concept of unity. The Gemara says that the reason it's called a Mitzvah Kallah , a light Mitzvah, is that it doesn't cost a lot. How can that be ? Succot cost a lot of money. But the answer is that since all the Jewish people could chip in together, it would cost less than a pruta per person, (a small amount of money), so it really doesn't cost anything. Rav Chaim Pilaggi adds (and this is always the rule) thar whenever we're supposed to reach a certain level, there's a bigger test. And therefore, Rav Chaim Pilaggi says that at this time of the year, there are a lot of Ahavat Yisrael challenges. ln his times, people would fight over getting Aliyot, Hoshanot, or Hataneh Torah. Or more commonly, neighbors would have difficulty getting along, complaining about the Succah blocking them etc. Therefore he says, it's a Mitzvah to tell people that it’s a time to have salvalut/tolerance, and that it’s a time to increase peace, as we say, “ God spreads the Succah of peace upon us and all the Jewish people .” Amen. Have a wonderful day and wonderful preparation for Succot.
This is our final class before Yom Kippur, The Meshech Hochma in Vayikra (8,7) tells us how the process of the Kohen Gadol/ the high priest, brings the Kapara/atonement on Yom Kippur. He says that when the Jewish soul is disconnected from its physicality, automatically it connects to its source, which is God and this purifies, just like the law that impure waters that connect themselves to pure waters in a mikveh become purified (there's a concept called hashaka - they sort of say, kiss each other or meet together). So too, the Jewish people are connected to God. Bu how do we connect ourselves to God on Yom Kippur? He says, “ We have to connect ourselves to the Jewish people at large ,” because, (and this is a tremendous Hiddush) “ the Jewish people as a whole are constantly connected to God.” You, the Jewish people, are connected to God and you're all alive today. So, in order for me to get my Kapara , I must connect myself to God. But how do I do that? I have to connect myself to the Jewish people. And he says, That's why we give Sedaka and do acts of Hessed during Aseret Yeme Teshuva. Because that's the way to connect yourself to the Jewish people. And he says, it's like you’re grafting a new sapling to an old tree.. (there's a law of Orla that within the first three year of a fruit tree, the fruit is called Orla , and it's forbidden to eat. But if you take a new sapling and graft it to an older tree that's more than three years old, the new sapling becomes part of the old tree). And so too, when we, as individuals, connect ourselves to Jewish people, we become purified, because we're connected to Jewish people that are constantly connected to God. That's what it signifies when the Kohen Gadol walks into the Holy of Holies. He's representing the Jewish people at large, and connecting them to God. What an unbelievable thought. Chacham Ben Sion brings down that especially on Erev Yom Kippur, a person is supposed to give charity. Everyone can find someone to give charity to today. There are many organizations. There are people that need money for Yom Tov. But if you're looking for somebody ( if it’s not too late) call the Yad Yosef Torah Center and find Rabbi Ozeri. He always has a list of people to help. He’s been giving out cards for Moisha’s, a local, supermarket. This is not an appeal, but if you're stuck, you can always come to the Yad Yosef …we’ll find somebody for you to help. The bottom line is that we must connect ourselves to the Jewish people. It's not just about me and you . It's about us . That's the secret to the purification process. And that's why you must ask forgiveness before Yom Kippur, because, as Chacham Ben Sion says, it’s not just that if you don't ask forgiveness, you don't get forgiven on the man- to- man sense. There will be something lacking for your entire Yom Kippur; your whole Yom Kippur will be missing if you don't ask forgiveness from somebody; if you're not getting along with someone, it impacts your entire Yom Kippur.That's why it's a big thing to do today, Erev Kippur, to forgive people- even that guy that really wronged you. Great things happen when people forgive other people. Rabbi Spiro tells a beautiful story in his book, A Touch of Purity . He tells of a man who had a business partner who swindled him terribly. He was extremely upset and wanted to press charges, defame him, and really go to war. Not long after that, there was a Hatzalah ambulance in front of his neighbor’s house, whose young wife, a mother of three children, was very sick with the disease. The neighbor came over and said, “ We're going to the hospital now. Could you please follow with my children in the car? I think they need to be near their mother.” So he takes the children to the hospital, and after a while they see that really there's no need for the children to be there. She's not going to need them. They stay a little bit longer, and then he ends up taking the children back home, giving them supper and helping them out. And he is just so overtaken by the horrible situation of this young family with a sick mother, that he bursts out crying and says to Hashem, “ I'll make a deal with You. This man wronged me. I'll forgive him. I'll forget it like it never happened. I won't press charge. I won't do anything. But please, grant this lady a refuah shelemah.” Not long afterwards, her condition started to improve. And almost miraculously, she eventually pulled out of it and was given a clean bill of health. That's the power of forgiving- It’s not an easy thing, but that's what makes us part of the Jewish people. That's what gives us power. We see here that when you forgive somebody, you can ask for something for somebody else- What a powerful tool. Let us take advantage of becoming part of the Jewish people on the special, final day before Yom Kippur and make that difference. *The 10 Commandments correspond to the 10 days of Teshuva. The last commandment is Lo Tachmod/Thou shall not covet, don't want what other people have. Care about other people, forgive other people. Get along with other people. And that's the secret to our success. Have a wonderful, meaningful fast.
As Aseret Yeme Teshuva wind down, we have to realize how important our middot are. The Rambam ( in Laws of Teshuva chapter 7 Halacha 3) tells us, “ Don't say, ‘I only need to make teshuva from something that has an action such as …. I stole, I did ate something unkosher…’ That’s a mistake. “ Just like you need Teshuva from those, so too, you have to check your bad De’ot/mindsets.” We've mentioned in the past that the Rambam calls middot ‘De’ot/mindsets’ because, as Rav Wolbe explains, it's really your mindset that determines how you're going to react. And what are those De’ot Ra’ot/ Bad mindsets that you have to do Teshuva from? -From getting angry. That’s a very scary one. Is it on the list of teshuva? Yes. It's on our standard confession list. כעסנו We got angry -From hatred- hating somebody -From jealousy. These are all man-to-man middot issues, and most people don't put them on their list of things to fix. “ From all of these… middot issues, and he lists more… one must repen t. And he adds, “ For these sins ( he calls anger a sin, he calls hatred a sin, he calls jealousy a sin), “ it's harder to do Teshuva.” It's harder to do Teshuva from getting angry than it is from eating unkosher. Because when you get entrenched, or immersed in these, it’s very hard to disconnect from them. “Let the evil man leave his way .” And when we say that the “ Rasha has to leave his ‘Derech’ It means his path in life, which refers to middot . Middot are a path in life. But, as Rav Yisrael Salantar says, It's easier to learn Shas than it is to change one Middah. The reason for this is, like the Rambam is saying, an action is one thing. But Middot, or mindsets, as the Rambam calls them, are what modern terminology calls hardwired. It’s the way the brain is wired. So you have to rewire your brain circuits on how to react. That's much harder than saying, “I won't do xyz.” Your actions are in your control to a certain extent, but the way you look at things, is more ingrained. We have spoken about the concept of reframing . To cause your brain to reframe how to look at things takes years and years of conditioning. If you go outside and it's a rainy day, do you think to yourself, ‘ It's a nasty day!’ or do you say ‘ Rain is a blessing ?’ That's hardwiring. Most people have been hardwired to say, Rain is nasty . When you get up and see it's raining, you think it's a horrible day. But you need to rewire your brain to say, Rain is blessing . That's much harder than deciding to keep chalav Yisrael or yashan. It’s easier to decide to keep Yashan than rewire De’ot . But that's part of our responsibility. And we're talking about Ahavat Yisrael- a lot of which has to do with this kind of rewiring. All of that goes into Teshuva. As the Elder of Kelm says, You can’t change in one day of Yom Kippur.” What you can do is commit yourself to say, ‘ I'm going learn about this topic. I'm going work on this topic, ’ and that's the way you start Teshuva. Yom Kippur is a time to start to, so to say, right the ship, and put it in the correct direction. You're not going to get there on Yom Kippur, but at least you're going to put yourself in the right direction. Have a wonderful day.
In this week's perasha Vayelech , ( Devarim 31 6), Moshe Rabbenu says חִזְק֣וּ וְאִמְצ֔וּ אַל־תִּֽירְא֥וּ וְאַל־תַּעַרְצ֖וּ מִפְּנֵיהֶ֑ם כִּ֣י ׀ ה אֱלֹקיךָ ה֚וּא הַהֹלֵ֣ךְ עִמָּ֔ךְ לֹ֥א יַרְפְּךָ֖ וְלֹ֥א יַעַזְבֶֽךָּ Strengthen yourself and have courage . Don't be afraid, don't be broken in front of them, God is going with you. He won't let you go. And He won't forsake you. The Alshech points out that the pasuk starts off talking in plural. Hizku V’Imsu/ You should be strong, you should be courageous is written in plural form. Then it ends off with Holech Imach/ God is going with you,Yarpecha, yazbecha/ He won’t forsake you in singular form Why this change in tense, from plural to singular? He explains that the Jewish people can be referred to as many , but that is not good. Like by Esav it says Nefashot , whereas by Yaakov Avinu it says Nefesh. When it says Hizku V’Imsu , in plural, that’s not a good thing. It should be hazak v’imatz, which indicates talking to the whole Jewish people as one unit. Therefore, the Alshech says that when we are many and we're fragmented , then we need to have Hizku ; we need God to come and tell us to strengthen ourselves. We need Imsu / God should tell us to have courage, not to be afraid and not to be broken. But when we’re Imach , when we unite yourselves and become one unit, then Hashem is with us, and there isn’t even a discussion of fear. We don’t have to say, “Don't be afraid,” because God is with you He's holding on and He won't let you become afraid or weak. That's the difference between individuals and the masses. And this is especially important at this time of the year, during Aseret Yeme Teshuva . We want to unite ourselves. And that way, we have ה אֱלֹהֶ֗יךָ ה֚וּא הַהֹלֵ֣ךְ עִמָּ֔ךְ God is going with us , in singular. Furthermore, the Sefer Yaarot Devash says there’s a pasuk in Yeshaya, (60,21) that says, ועמך עלם צדיקים The entire nation is righteous. Even the empty ones are full of Mitzvot, like a Rimon . But that's provided that we are united. When we're united, the blemishes, so to say, go unnoticed. He gives a mashal : If someone is buying a large flock of sheep, he doesn't go and check every sheep individually for every little blemish or issue they may have. But if a person buys one sheep, then he wants to check if there's a cut in the lip, or there's a cataract on the eye, etc. He goes back to Haman, who wanted to wipe out the Jewish people, and said, “The Jewish people are scattered. ” And if they're scattered, then God will see their blemishes; to which Mordechai and Esther respond, “ Then bring them together, ” because when they're together, they're one unit and their blemishes are not as noticeable. And it's interesting- there's a famous Arizal on Yom Kippur- it says Yom Kippur is K’Purim/ it’s like Purim . The obvious question is, How can we compare Kippur to Purim? Yom Kippur is the greater one. You say someone is as rich as Rothchild. You don't say Rothchild is as rich as somebody else. Rothchild is the epitome of wealth. It’s not Rockefeller’s as rich as some smaller wealthy man. So why do we say Yom Kippur is K’Purim/like Purim? They answer that Purim has that special quality where everyone's together and united. All of the things that we do, like Mishloach Manot, unite the people. And that's what we need to do. We hope that Yom Kippur is K’Purim/ like Purim , in the fact that we are united and we have that power of Knos et Yehudim/ gathering together, and that God sees us as one unit and doesn't see our blemishes. When God sees us as one unit with no blemishes, then God is with us; He doesn't let go and He doesn't forsake us. Have a wonderful day and Shabbat Shalom.
Yesterday we mentioned the importance of praying for people in need during Aseret Yeme Teshuva. Someone told me a beautiful thought: On fast days, we read Vayechal Moshe et Pene Hashem, Moshe prayed to Hashem (after the sin of the golden calf). The Rishonim discuss the exact etymology of “ Vayechal .” Normally, the word “ Vayitpalel” is used to indicate prayer. The Gemara in Masechet Berachot 32A explains that the root of the word Vayechal is chol/sickness, and that Moshe Rabbenu prayed until he felt sick over them. What kind of sickness? The Gemara says it was a fever of sorts, that makes the bones feel warm or hot. The Meshech Chochma says the term bones is used because the bones are the person's actual self. This means that Moshe Rabbenu felt their pain to the point that it was his own pain. Vayechal Moshe/ And Moshe prayed a prayer to the point that he felt sick. This is the high level of Moshe Rabbenu when he prayed for the Jewish people at large. The Gemara in Berachot 12B says that David Hamelech prayed for Talmedei Hachamim / Torah scholars that were sick. The term used is that he became sick over the Talmidei Hachamim that were sick. The Gemara explains that If someone is able to pray for his friend and doesn't, he's called a sinner. Rava adds that if the man is a Talmid Hacham, he has to get sick over him. This means he has to pray to the point that it bothers him so much that he literally feels the person's pain, to the point that it’s like he's sick. Moshe Rabbenu prayed like that when he prayed for the Jewish people at large. So when we pray for the sibbur , which definitely has the power of a Talmid Chacham, we have to pray to that level. Rav Yehezkiel Levenstein brings down, regarding this perasha of Vayechal, that the reason that we read this on a Taanit/fast is because we want show that the salvation of Jewish people depends on having someone that feels their pain. That's the fundamental. Moshe Rabbenu was the ultimate Noseh B’Ol. He's the one who leaves the palace to see the Jewish people in their suffering… and throughout his life, the theme is always Noseh B’Ol/ carrying the yoke. Rav Levenstein says that this is to show the future generations, “ One individual, it’s in his power to save, if he truly feels the pain of a fellow person, he can save them and that can tear up the decree.” And to this day, we're living off of that. Moshe Rabbenu went even further. He said, “ Erase my name.” That's how partnered up he was with their pain. And that's why we read this on a fast day, when we're fasting and feeling the pain. When you're fasting, you feel sick. That's what it means to to feel sick. To fast means to really feel the pain. We’re going into Yom Kippur- a fast day, a day that we're supposed to feel the pain of the Jewish people at large. That's a tremendous Ahavat Yisrael takeaway. Our job is to reach the level Moshe Rabbenu. He was the one that undid the sin of the golden calf. How did he do it? Vayechal , by feeling sick over someone else's problem. Have a wonderful day.
I'd like to share a beautiful thought that Rabbi David Ozeri said over before the blowing of the shofar. Although we're past Rosh Hashana, we have Aseret Yeme Teshuva, just in case we didn't fix it all on Rosh Hashana. In the last year of the life of Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel, Rosh Yeshiva of the Mir Yeshiva in Yerushalayim, he got up to speak before the blowing of the the shofar on Rosh Hashana, and he said, “Do you know what kavana/ intent you should have when the shofar is sounded?” Most people think of all the different high and lofty things. But he said, “ Think about the person next to you. Think about the person near you who's crying. Think about the challenges and struggles of your neighbors and friends and pray for them.” That's an unbelievable thought. Everyone has what they call their bag of problems, their troubles, their difficulties. We know what everybody has, and we're thinking about ourselves. But he said No. Think about the other person. As we’ve said in the past, there is a principle that “Whoever has mercy on others, they ( in Shamayim) have mercy on him .” The Tiferet Shlomo said that the reason Rosh Hashana is called Yom Hazikaron / the Day of Remembrance is that it’s a day when each and every one of us should remember our fellow Jew and pray for their wellbeing and safety. This is a wonderful means of creating unity, and enjoying Hashem’s much needed mercy and bringing Beracha upon all of us. Rosh Hashana has passed, but we still have Aseret Yeme Teshuva. As we've said in the past, the Pele Yoetz wrote a prayer specifically designed to be said during Aseret Yeme Teshuva, because it's a time when we have extra power to pray (see below). It's a time when even the individual has the power of the sibbur/ the power of a group of 10 people . Therefore, we are elevated to the level of a Kohen Gadol of sorts, where the Kohen Gadol is held responsible if something happens in his proximity, because he should have prayed that it shouldn't have happened. We, too, have a responsibility to pray at this time of the year. You can't say, “ Who am I to pray?” You're elevated. It’s Aseret Yeme Teshuva . You have extra power and extra abilities. This is what we should have done on Rosh Hashana, and that's what we can still do, during Aseret Yeme Teshuva, because what arouses God's mercy is when He sees that we care for others. Sometimes the way you show your concern is not by doing . You may see a person who has a problem, and there's really nothing you can do, but there is something to do. You can pray for that person. Let's try to do that for the next few days. Let us see who's in need, and let's pray for that person. Have a wonderful day. Link for Pele Yoetz prayer: https://www.learntorah.com/contentlibrary/guides/Peleh%20Yoetz%20for%20aseret%20yemeh%20teshuva.pdf
Rav Wolbe, in his sefer Alei Shur (vol 2, page 430) talks about what we're supposed to do as we prepare for the high holidays. He quotes a Ramban on the pasuk when God revealed Himself to Moshe and said one of His names, אהיה אשר אהיה “I will be that I will be. ” The Ramban says it means, “ The way you act with Me, I act with you. ” If you open your hands to give charity, I open My hands to give you. If you don't open your hands, I close My hands… it’s the concept that God is called your Shadow. If you show a shadow your finger, the shadow shows back a finger. If you show the shadow a hand, the shadow shows back a hand. God's ways of acting is based on the way we act. There’s a famous statement in the Gemara in Rosh Hashana, 17A: “Whoever is easygoing and lets things pass, God lets things pass.” This doesn't mean that God just forgets, says Rashi, but that God is not Medakdek / God is not exacting . You could be exacting, or you could be less exacting. You could find the minuscule mistakes in something, or you could just, so to say, not get as analytical . And he says, that is a great hope for us as we get ready for Rosh Hashana. We have to act with people in an easygoing way on Rosh Hashana; we have to be aware of getting angry or being Makpid , which means to get upset over a little things, for example, if somebody sat in your seat, bumped into you, or came late to the meal….etc. As we mentioned many, many months ago, every day, before you pray, the Arizal says that you're supposed to accept upon yourself the Mitzvah of V’Ahavta L’Re’echa Kamocha/to love your friend like you love yourself, and especially on Rosh Hashana. When start our Rosh Hashana prayers, we should think like that. A little later in Rav Wolbe’s sefer (page 433), he says that on Rosh Hashana, we're careful not to eat anything that is sour or tart, because of the concept called Simana Milta , which means there's a, so to say, good omen when you do certain things. That's why we eat all those special foods, and why we stay away from the foods that we shouldn't eat. And we dip our bread (depending on the custom) in sugar or honey… But he says, if we're careful to have a good omen in what we eat, then it’s surely so in the way we act and what we do… All of our actions have to be sweet.” It’s not just about the signs and the symbols. This is an important concept to focus on, as we get ready for Rosh Hashana. And furthermore, Rav Wolbe says in his sefer (page 243), that it's quite difficult, in just a day or two before Rosh Hashana, to dive into this. Hopefully, he says, if we've been working on it all year, it's easier just to arouse it as we get closer. Those of us that get this lesson every day have been working on Ahavat Yisrael, and are aware of all these different concepts. So B’Ezrat Hashem, we will just be extra cognizant of how easy going and soft and sweet we have to be during the high holidays, being that the way we act is the way God acts with us. Have a wonderful day.
We are in our final middah called V’Nakeh , which means to clean; God cleans the sin. The Tomer Devorah explains that when God forgives, it's not through a messenger. God Himself forgives, like it says, “ With you is forgiveness.” Which means that God cleanses the sin. As it says in Yeshaya (4,4), אִ֣ם ׀ רָחַ֣ץ ה׳ אֵ֚ת צֹאַ֣ת בְּנוֹת־צִיּ֔וֹן "God cleanses the excrement of the daughters of Zion. That means God Himself, for lack of a better term, is, kal v’yachol, so to say, changing the diaper. He's cleansing the person. He's putting them in the shower, or in the bath. And that's the way a person has to act, says the Tomer Devorah Don't say,” Now I have to clean up his mess?!” Hashem does it, and we also have to clean up the mess that someone else made. Again, this will go back to God, who says about the Jewish people that we’re a dear son; ‘ Yeled Sha’ashu’im /the child that He plays with, ’which means, as the Or Hachaim HaKadosh says (quoted by one of his students), that when a person has a young child, their “dirt” does not get the mother upset. The mother has no problem changing the diaper. It's her biggest pleasure. Why? Because she loves her child; Someone else's child, she might not be able to do that for. Hashem looks at us as His dear child, and, so to say, He cleans up our mess and our dirt, and it doesn't bother Him. He's happy to do so. That is part of what we have to do for our fellow, to have this Middah of V’Nakeh - that we're ready to clean up the mess, and more than that, we don't get disgusted by the other person's mess, because we love them like we love a child. These are all very high levels of Ahavat Yisrael. But again, the way we act and measure that's way God measures for us . These are the traits that we need to work on as we get closer to Yom Kippur , because that's what the day is all about. Repeating the 13 attributes of mercy, which were revealed to Moshe on Yom Kippur. And therefore, before Yom Kippur, we ask forgiveness from each other because we want to arouse God's forgiveness of us by us forgiving others. Have a wonderful day.
We are up to the final attribute. V’Nakeh which means that He cleanses . Nikayon means to clean. Rashi says that it means He cleanses those that sin from their punishment and from the sin, Rabbenu Bachye adds that it means that even if a person goes back to sin after teshuva and God had forgiven him, and he repeated this sin, God doesn't go back to the sin. Those sins have been forgiven and we start a clean slate. That's important, because although we don't plan on sinning again after Yom Kippur, and we really are serious about our teshuva, and we really regret, and we mean it, sometimes we fall back. But Hashem says, “ I forgave you. I forgave you.” You're clean. And again, we have to act like this with our friends. Sometimes someone asks you forgiveness, and you forgive them. But is it really clean? A great example of this Middah is the story with the Rav Moshe Feinstein. There was a man that was upset about a certain decision that Rav Moshe Feinstein made in Halacha. This man felt it was too liberal and he actually came out in a very disrespectful way against Rabbi Feinstein's decision. A few weeks or months later, this man needed a letter of approbation from Rabbi Feinstein for something. And he had the arrogance, so to say, to approach Rav Feinstein and ask for a letter- after he had done this disrespectful thing. Rav Feinstein happily gave him the approbation. When the man left, Rav Feinstein's son said, “ Don’t you remember what this man did to you? Don't you remember what happened?” To which Rav Feinstein answered, “ Of course I remember, but Yom Kippur passed already, and I forgave him. ” This is very important. Sometimes we’ll forgive somebody, but that doesn't really mean that we, as we say, “forgive and forget,”’ But that is what V’Nakeh is, to forgive and forget. It's not in our minds anymore. It's a clean slate . It’s a difficult challenge to really, truly forget what a person did to you and give them a clean slate and a new start, but that's what we want from God, so that's what we should do for others.
We continue with our 13 attributes of mercy. We last spoke about Noseh Avon, which means that God carries the sin; after we’ve sinned and created a negative force, God is the One that gives nourishment to the negative force. But, as we said, there are three terms for sin- Avon, Phesha and Chata’ah We say that in our confession Hatati, Aviti, Pashati, and we will explain how they’re different: The commentaries are basically agreement a Chet is a sin that is done B’Shogeg/It was done by mistake. Even when a person does a sin by mistake, he needs to be forgiven. For example, if a person didn't realize that he couldn't do something on Shabbat, he still needs to be forgiven. That's a mistake. Then we have an Avon, which is a sin where, “I knew it was wrong. It wasn't a mistake, but I was driven by my desire. I couldn't control my desire. I just had to eat that slice of pizza. It was just too delicious.” That is an Avon. Phesha is what is called “to get God angry.” You weren't being driven by desire. You were just upset. You wanted to do it anyway. It wasn't an issue of desire. It was a sin that had no desire involved. You weren't in the mood, or didn’t want to do what was supposed to be done. This is a bit more severe because you don't have the desire factor. But regardless of what kind of sin it is, God forgives. And again, we have to apply this back to people. People sometimes sin, and they say it was a mistake. And you say, “be more careful next time…” but it was a mistake. So we have to learn how to forgive mistakes. Then we have the sin of desire. A person sinned against you because he couldn't control himself. For example, you child could not control himself and he ate the cake that you made for someone's birthday party. Lastly is the worst of the sins, when there's no real excuse. Just somebody who did something wrong to you, without any real excuse, or desire, he just didn't care. There was no concern or respect for your feelings… And you'll still forgave him. Those are the three ways we emulate God. And again, as we always end off, the more we act that way, the more God reciprocates to us.
Yesterday we spoke of the trait called Noseh Avon , which means God sustains the sin. And the Tom er Devorah that told us that when a person sins, he creates a negative angel . God, instead of unleashing the negative angel on the person that sinned ( who is the creator , so to say of this negative force ) , God H imself sustains that negative force. He goes on to explain that that was the statement of Ka yin in Bereshit 4, 13, where he tells God, “ Is my sin too great to hold?” The M i drash exp ounds, “ Y ou're able to sustain the entire world , and my sin is too heav y? You can't sustain it until I do t eshuva?” That was the claim of K ayin after he killed his brother. So the Tomer Devor ah says, this is a tremendous level of tolerance and patience . He uses the term Savlanut Gedolah . Sovel means to carry a load. Here it means the load of this person's sin. And really , God should say, “ It’s not my business. It's your business. ” How does this apply to us? And he says, “ F rom this , a person should learn how much he has to tolerate and be patient with his friend , to tolerate the iniquity and sin that the friend did to you, to the point that the evil is still there and you are actually fixing it for him. ” What does that mean? If somebody did thing wrong to you , and they're so to say suffering from it. Let's say they didn't listen to you. You gave them good advice , and they didn't listen to you , and now things are messed up . But you go and you actually continue to help them , even when they are si nning against you. There's a saying, “ You made your bed now sleep in it, ” which is an unsympathetic way of saying , “ You created a problem , it’s your problem , Its not my proble m . Deal with it. ” That is not one of the 13 attributes of mercy. The 13 attributes mercy sa y “ You made your bed , but we aren’t go ing make you sleep in it. ” Which means we'll help you out. We'll change the bed for you. We'll even c hange the sheets for you . E ven though you made the bed, we're not going to force you to sleep in it. That is this Middah of Noseh as it in, as it shows up in people. And again, the more that we do that to people, the more God acts that way with us.
We're going through the 13 attributes of mercy of God that are listed in the pasuk of El Rahum V’Hanun. We are now up to the middot of Noseh Avon, V’Phesha, V’Chata’ah, which are three separate Middot, the 10 th 11th and 12 th. V’Nakeh is the 13th. Avon , Phesha and Chatah are three different types of sins, so what exactly does Noseh Avon mean? (There are actually two listings of the 13 attributes. One shows up in the Torah and the other one shows up in the Navi. We say that one during Tashlich, “ Mi El Kamocha, who is like you, God, Noseh Avon, that carries sin.” Noseh Avon is the second in that listing, but the 10th in this listing.) The Tomer Devorah explains that Noseh Avon means to carry the sin. What does that mean? The Tomer Devorah explains an important principle: Everything in this world needs sustenance. Nothing in this world has its own independent existence, except God. When we sin, that creates a negative force, a prosecuting angel. (Mishna in Mesechet Avot) And angels also need sustenance. We might think that angels just fly around, but nothing survives without sustenance. It says the food of angels, a man ate. Moshe Rabbenu ate the food of angels in Shamayim . What's the food of angels? The Manna. It's a spiritual sustenance that the angels eat, and God sustains them. As we said, when a person commits a sin, he creates a negative force. Who is going feed that negative force? It needs to survive. So it comes to God like all creatures, and says, “ Feed me.” And God should say, “ I should feed you? Go to the one who created you, the sinner. Let him feed you.” But how do you feed a negative force? Well, if the sin causes the person to have suffering, for example, the sin causes that the man needs to break his leg, the angel sustenance is the broken leg. But God doesn't do that. God has patience, so we don't see the immediate reactions from our sins. That's God's mercy. We don't have Middat HaDin/ Justice. The letter of the law would say, just like when someone cuts his finger, he bleeds, or if a person with a nut allergy eats a sesame seed- there’s an immediate reaction, so too, when you do a sin, there should be an immediate reaction. There's no patience, it just happens. And really, that's what should happen in the world of sin as well. There should be an immediate reaction, but it doesn't happen. What does happen is that God is Noseh Avon . He carries the sin. He feeds the sin. He sustains the sin. That is the trait of Noseh Avon . God sustains the sin. What does that mean for us? We'll continue tomorrow, B’Ezrat Hashem.
We are now on Middah number nine. As we said yesterday, eight and nine are connected. Eight is Noser Hessed/ God watches over kindnes s. Nine is L’Alafim/ for 2000 generations . How is that a separate Middah? The answer is that although we read them as once sentence- Noser Hessed L’Alafim/God watches kindness for 2000 generations, there is a difference between God's watching the kindness versus God watching sin. The pasuk, when it refers to sin, says, “ God remembers the sins of the fathers on the sons, and on the grandchildren, for three generations and four generations. ” So God remembers the bad for four generations (that is, if we continue sinning, of course) until He punishes them. So Rashi looks at the ratio of four generations to 2000 generations, and calculates that, “ God's good measure is better than His bad measure by a 500:1 ” ratio, because it says, “ God remembers the good for 2000,” whereas “God remembers the bad for four.” So four to 2000 is a 1:500 ratio. And that's Middah, number nine. When a person does good and bad to us, sometimes we focus on the bad. But we shouldn’t. We have to turn it around. We have to focus on the good much more than we focus on the bad. Imagine a magnifying glass or reading glasses with different strengths from 1-4. You put on thr reading glasses, and you can see the bad four times greater; you focus on the bad a little bit. But when it comes to looking at at the good, you have this microscope that is able to enlarge things 500 times the amount. That's the difference of how you focus in the bad versus how you focus on the good,. There is a psychological term for this concept, as it applies to our brains, called unhelpful thinking styles, involving something called a mental filter, whereby people pay attention to failures and not to successes. When applied internally, certain people feel down because they notice their failures but not their successes. This mental filter works externally as well; when we look at other people. Do we use our mental filter to focus on one thing over the other? There are other psychological terms that apply- magnification and minimization . We sometimes blow things out of proportion or inappropriately shrink something to make it less important. These are styles of thinking, and we're supposed to use these thinking styles in our Middat of Rachamim. We're supposed to have the thinking style that minimizes somebody's bad and magnifies his good. I'm supposed to have a mental filter and notice the good things he does to me, and not the bad. Another unhelpful thinking style is called disqualifying the positive - disqualifying the good things that people do for us, that have happened or that we’ve done ourselves, thinking, “ That doesn't count. ” What counts is the bad things. These are all what we call thinking traps that interfere with us internally, but they can also interfere with the way we act toward others. And that's this Middah of LaAlafim - we're supposed to have a mental filter to focus on the good things that people do for us, much more so than the bad. And again, the more we do this with people, the more Hashem does it with us. Have a wonderful day.
We are up to the eighth and ninth traits of the 13 Attributes of Mercy. The eighth one, Noser Hessed, is God protects or watches over kindness. The ninth is L’Alafim /For 2000 generations. These are two separate traits, although seemingly in one statement, “ God watches kindness for 2000 generations ,” Today we will explain what God watches kindness means . There is a concept called Zechut Avot which means that our forefathers did great deeds, and in the merit of our forefathers, God acts with us in a kind way. It can also mean that person did something good many years ago, and we watch over that good deed. Noser Hessed is to watch over the good deeds of our forefathers , and this trait also applies to how we act with other people. For example, somebody’s grandfather might have done something for me, or for my father or grandfather, and therefore I owe that person. I have to remember that, and act with him in a kind way. Lot’s descendants, Amon and Moav, were held responsible for the fact that they did not greet the Jewish people properly in the desert, because Avraham took care of Lot. Avraham saved Lot. If not for Avraham, they would not have existed. Their great, great, grandfather from a few hundred years before would have been wiped out in Sedom. Therefore they owed us. That’s why we can never marry from Amon or Moav, or we have to wait a certain amount of generations to do so. These nations are distanced from us because they did not have Hakarat HaTov to somebody for what their grandfather did for them. I like to use the example of a great man in the Syrian community, Mr. Isaac Shalom. He started Magen David Yeshiva, about 75 years ago, and it was the first Yeshiva in the Syrian community. Before that. People went to public school, followed by something called K’Tav, which was like an after school program. But until he started Magen David, there was no official Yeshiva with a rabbi, all day in a Yeshiva setting. My father was from the second graduating class. His older brother didn't have that opportunity. My father did, and that obviously impacted him, whom he married and impacted his whole life. So if I meet one of Isaac Shalom’s grandchildren and they need a favor, or anything, I have to say, “ If not for his grandfather, I might not be where I not. If not for him. I wouldn't be where I am today. I have to take care of this man .” That's the trait of Noser Hessed. Or maybe a person helped you in school 40 years ago. I know somebody that invites a certain fellow to all of his affairs. The guy is not in his social circles, but when this man was in high school, people used to bully him, and this guy stuck up for him. This guy protected him and he never forgot it. So even though he's a very successful man and this other fellow is not in the same social circles or even in the same community, he never forgot that he took care of him when he came to the school as a new student, a newcomer. That's Noser Hessed. The more we act with Noser Hessed, the more God does the same. When we remember what people did for us years ago, or what their fathers did for ours years ago, that invokes this trait of God towards us. And therefore, it's important.
We continue in our series of the 13 Attributes of Mercy. We previously discussed the Middah of Emet, which is Truth . The problem with this is that truth doesn't seem to be a trait of kindness, as we explained previously. But Rabbenu Bachye explains that Emet is going back on Hesed, meaning there's a concept called Hesed shel Emet/ A kindness of truth. A kindness of truth means you’re not looking forward to being paid back. That's one of middot that Hashem has- that a person is receiving a kindness, even though there's nothing coming back. Of course nothing's normally coming back, but he explains that when the Jewish people keep the Torah, we don't need Hessed alone to survive. For the 26 generations, from Adam HaRishon to Matan Torah , it says God took care of the world with Hessed, because they weren't giving anything back. Conversely, there are times that God gives us, and so to say, there is something to look forward to. God could hope that we do Mitzvot, He could hope that we do good things. And then there's Hessed shel Emet, which means there is nothing coming in return, for the kind of person that it doesn't seem like there's going to be any dividends on investing in him. And yet Hashem still invests in him. That's Hessed shel Emet ; that's a kindness without any payback. And again, it’s true as well, with people. A well known Rashi says that when Yaakov Avinu asked Yosef to bury him, he called it a Hessed shel Emet/ a true kindness. Because when you bury somebody, there is no waiting for the person to pay you back. He's dead. When you go to someone's Bar Mitzvah, he'll come to your Bar Mitzvah. When you go to his wedding, he’ll go to your wedding. But when you bury someone, you're not looking forward to him burying you back. That's called a Hessed shel Emet. We have to cultivate that Middah of doing a kindness without looking forward. When you a favor for your spouse, it’s like I scratch your back, you scratch mine. And often with other people, when we do kindness, we know that somehow it'll come around. Therefore, we are supposed to try to do a kindness without any expectation of repayment. In Rabbi Miller's 10 steps to greatness (and other Gedolim suggests this as well), it says that a person should do a kindness that nobody knows about. I often give the example that the garbage gets picked up on Monday morning but you notice that your neighbor did not put out his garbage. So you put his garbage out front, and you don't tell anybody. He thinks his wife did it, and his wife thinks her husband did it, and no one knows it was you that took out the garbage for them. That's a Hessed shel Emet . And when we do Hessed shel Emet , it arouses Hashem’s Middah of Hessed shel Emet.
We are in our 13 Middot series, and are we up to Middah number seven, V’ Emet/ and truth. How is truth one of the 13 attributes of mercy? It doesn't seem to match. If anything, Hessed/kindness is on one side, and Emet is on the other. If I want to be Emet , you might not be deserving. So how is Emet/truth considered one of the 13 attributes of mercy? Rashi says that the trait of Emet means To reward and pay back the people that deserve it. But once again, how does that fit in with the trait of Emet/Truth ? To explain, we have to go to a Rashi, in the beginning of Va’era (chapter 6, pasuk 3) where Hashem says about Abraham, “ ושמי ה׳ לא נודעתי להם in My name of Hashem I didn't tell them yet. What does that mean? Rashi says it means, “I wasn't revealed in that way. I wasn't recognized with My name of Emet ” So here we see there's a name of Emet , with the trait of Emet . What is the trait of Emet ? Rashi continues and says, “ God's name of Hashem is the name of Emet.. To bring what I said to truth . I promised Abraham, I guaranteed Abraham, and I didn't fulfill it yet . They did yet not have the name of Hashem that is the name of Emet , as it was not yet revealed to them. So in this context, Emet/truth means that God comes through on His promises. He promised us and Hashem will come through. It doesn’t always happen right away, but God comes through. That is the Middah of Emet . There may be bumps in the road, but when God promises, He comes through. And we have to have that Middah with people as well. Sometimes people say “ I'll help you. If you need, come to me .” Then the person comes, but he forgot his promise. “ What did I say? Oh, I wasn't so serious.” I once had a fellow who made a pledge and I'll never forget the line he used. I hope no one learns from it. He said, “ It was a soft pledge. ” That means, “ Yeah. I told you, I'd give you money, but you know, it's a soft pledge- not the type you have to keep.” There are people who make pledges and don't keep them. And not just pledges to institutions, but pledges to people. They say, “ I'll take care of you… come to me if you need something. ” And then amnesia sets in. That is not the trait of Emet . We need the trait of Emet because Hashem made a lot of promises to us and He will come through, but there might be reasons in the middle- we might have done things wrong, things might have happened... We really want to have that Middah of Emet fulfilled upon us, speedily, and therefore, we need to keep that Middah of Emet as well. Have a wonderful day.
In our 13 Middot series, we are up to Middah number six, V’Rav Hessed / and His kindness is abundant. The Gemara in Masechet Rosh Hashana explains that God tilts to the kindness. This means that if somebody is 50/50, Hashem will give them a tilt towards the kindness. The commentaries explain that this means after you went through Aseret Yeme Teshuva and you are still 50/50 on Yom Kippur, Hashem gives an extra tilt. How does this work? There's a side that has mitzvot and a side that has averot , so how do we tilt it? The rabbis answer that, as the Rambam says, the way to weigh and measure things is only in the hands of God. What is a zechut worth? We don't know.. What is a smile to your friend worth? Well, it depends. What kind of day did you have? How much effort did it take the smile? Only Hashem can weigh these things. When somebody is 50/50, it doesn’t mean they’re exactly 50/50. It means they’re pulled both ways, but Hashem will look at things in a different light, a different angle with a more positive look, and turn the 50/50 fellow into a 60/40 fellow. There was a man who had a life full of suffering and difficulties, and he so he went to the Chida for a beracha, and waited on line. But after his long journey, he fell asleep. In his dream, he saw that at his end of his life they were coming to weigh his deeds- his good deeds and his bad deeds. He saw black chariots with black angels coming. He asked what they were and he was told that those were all his sins. There was whole long line of trucks loaded up with the black angels. Then he saw one old, weak angel with a wheelbarrow- he was told that those were his Mitzvot, and they were put on the scale. Of course, it looked like it was all over. It looked like he lost. But then his little white angel said, “ What about his suffering? What about his Yissurim?” So they start throwing on the yisurim - a difficult child, a challenge in business… and all the suffering he went through in his life went onto the scale. Finally, it was just about even, 50/50, but not quite enough to tilt the scale. So he started yelling, “ More yesurim, more yesurim, more suffering, more suffering!” Then he woke up, and of course, it was just a dream. But he realized that the suffering was really good for him, so he turned around and went back home. That's a story about how only Hashem knows how to judge what to put on the scale, and what not to put on the scale. We need V’Rav Hessed , we need that extra kindness to tilt the scale and look at our deeds in a different way. The same is true for friend. We may want to give a negative verdict on whatever it may be in our relationship with him, but we have to take into consideration all the factors in his life, and give him a little more rope, be a little bit more easygoing, focus on the positive, discount the negative, and give him the tilt to Hessed. Have a wonderful day.
We're now up to the fourth Middah , but we're going to put the fourth and fifth Middot together. As we said at the start of this topic, there are multiple approaches on how to break down the 13 Middot. (In the back of the Metivta Gemara, I saw eight) We're going with the approach of the Arizal, which is that the two names of Hashem that are mentioned first do not count, so we start the count from El , and the last one is V’Nakeh . In order to make that work, we have to take some of those that seem to be one Middah, and break them in half. Erech Apayim , literally means slow to anger. Erech means long, and Apayim means nostrils . When one gets angry, smoke comes out of the nostrils (like in cartoons), which means it's like an anger coming out of your nose. That's why we say Haron Af/the anger of the nostrils. So Erech Apayim means slow to anger , and that's really one trait. So how do we break that into two? It says Apayim , in the plural form, therefore we break up the words.. Erech is the fourth, and Apayim is the fifth. Each word on its own doesn't mean anything, but together, the two words Erech Apayim are an additional two attributes. Why two? Tosafot says it’s because God says, “ I act differently for Sadikim and Resha’im. ” God has an Erech Apayim for Sadik/ He has a patience for Sadik, and He also has patience for a Rasha. Tosafot explains that the Erech Apayim for the Rasha is that Hashem gives people time, so that eventually they’ll return in Teshuva. We see that today. There are many people, who, 20 or 30 years ago, weren't doing the right things, and Hashem waited. Eventually, things turned around. They started joining classes and doing better things. By having patience, and giving people a chance, they turn around. We have to use that trait ourselves. We have to give people a chance. Not everybody is ready right now. Give them a chance and eventually they'll turn around. That is the additional Apayim . It’s not just having patience for the good guy when he messes up, but even for the Rasha.
This is our third lesson on Middah number 3 of Hashem’s 13 Attributes of Mercy- Hanun . Tosafot, in Rosh Hashanah, 17B, says the word Hanun comes from the root o “ Matanat Hinam .” As we have said previously, Hanun means a free gift, like it says in Berachot 7A, where Hashem says to Moshe, “ I will have the Middah of Hanun on the one that I decide to,” and the Gemara explains that it means even if he's not befitting. This means that one of Hashem’s middot is that even though the person does not deserve it, even if the person is not befitting, Hashem still gives him, like Moshe Rabbenu’s famous prayer of V’Et hanan , that he from learned from God. God uses this trait. We're never supposed to ask God for what we deserve. We don’t deserve anything; we aren’t befitting, and still, God takes care of us. That has to be our way with people. Sometimes people come to the door to collect money, and you don't know whether the guy is befitting or not. He comes with a letter, but is it real? You don't know. You could just ignore him, or you can invoke the Middah of Hanun. You can say, “ I don't know who this guy is; I don't know what his story is, but he looks like he's a bad luck case so I'll give him something, even if I don't know if he deserves it… “ Whether he deserves it or not, that's the Middah of Hanun , and we need that more than anything else. It says that at the beginning of the year, we're supposed to come to Hashem with supplications, a poor man speaks. We're supposed to be like poor, impoverished people, and bang on the door. When we come to God during Selichot , we’re like a poor man banging on the door. Do we want Hashem to go check His security camera? When the poor guy knocks on our door, do we tell our kids to say we aren’t home? Maybe we have an excuse- maybe he's an armed robber. But you can still slip the money through the mail slot. There are always ways around it… but without going into the details of everyone's security systems, the bottom line is that people knock on the door, and we don't know if they’re deserving or not. Invoking the Middah of Hanun causes God to answer the door when we are knocking, whether we are deserving or not. We knock on the door every day, and that’s not an exaggeration. The Gemara in Yerushalmi (quoted in Rashi Masechet Berachot) says that every day, when we get to the words Ga’al Yisrael right before the Amida, it’s a mashal for a man who's knocking on the King's door; the King opens the door and you have to be there. That's why we have to say Gaal Yisrael right next to the Amida. We're banging on God's door throughout our prayers, for Him to open it up at the Amida. There’s a fellow that bangs on the table every day in shul. People think it's Rosh Hodesh every day because he's banging on the table, but he’s really, “ knocking on the door” to remind himself that he's knocking on God's door. If we want God to answer the door when we knock, we have to answer the door when others knock. Have a wonderful day.
We have been discussing the 13 Attributes of Mercy of Hashem. We left off last week with Middah number three- Hanun, which we are going to spend more time on. In order to figure out what a word means, we use context clues. As we mentioned in our previous lesson, one of the context clues for Hanun, brought down by the Rishonim , is a story in Mishpatim (chapter 22, pasuk24- 26) where a man lends his friend money and takes a collateral. In our example, Joe has no money, so he borrows from Abe, and gives Abe his pajamas as collateral. When night comes, Joe says, “ Abe, I need my pajamas back.” Abe says, “ What do you mean? I need a collateral.” So Joe says he’ll switch his pajamas for his winter coat. And this keeps on going. The Torah says, “ It’s his only set of pajamas. What's he going to sleep w ith? כִּֽי־יִצְעַ֣ק אֵלַ֔י וְשָׁמַעְתִּ֖י כִּֽי־חַנּ֥וּן אָֽנִי If he cries out to Me, I'm going to hear, Because I have the trait of Hanun ( which we'll call merciful) . We explained that Hanun means that God responds even when a person doesn't have a claim, as we can see from this case, where the borrower really has no claim. He borrowed money with a collateral, which is legal, and it's not the responsibility of the lender to run a clothing gemach, switching back and forth between various collaterals. But it does sound like the lender is the bad guy here, because the borrower is going to cry out to God and God is going to listen. It sounds like Hashem is going to punish the lender for not giving back the pajamas.But how can that be? The Seforno says that it’s true that when Joe was crying out to God that he didn’t have pajamas, he really had no claim against Abe. But he explains that the bottom line is that if Abe would have given the pajamas back to Joe, Joe would have had his pajamas and would not have cried out to God. And now that he is crying out (because of Abe, albeit indirectly), God is going to divert some of Abe’s charity cash flow to Joe. That is how charity works. We are responsible to give out the money. Hashem puts the charity cash flow in our hands. So Hashem says, If Abe would have given the pajamas back to Joe, and Joe wouldn't have cried to Me- no problem. I would be able to give Abe whatever he needs. But now that Joe needs his pajamas, I'm going to divert some of the money away from Abe to Joe, because Joe's crying out and complaining, “ Hey, it's not fair, How come people are going on trips to Honolulu, and I don't even have pajamas. ” God says, “ You're right. We're going to take some Honolulu trip money, and give it to you. ” It's not a punishment. It’s just that God says, “ When someone calls out to Me, even though he has no claim, I have to respond. And if I don't have the money, so to say, to give it to him, Abe, I'm going to have to take it out of your surplus charity fund and divert it to Joe, because Joe cried out.” So ultimately, you're better off giving the pajamas back. That way, Joe doesn't cry out, and the slush fund remains by you Abe. Again, it's not meant as punishment that Abe is going to lose his surplus slush fund if Joe cries out, it's just, that this is the way it works. God says, “ If he cries, I have listen to him, I have to come up with money. And it’s going to come from your slush fund Abe, because, indirectly, you're the one that caused him to cry out.” What a fascinating Seforno on this concept of Hanun . Our job, again, is to emulate God. When people cry out, we have to take care of them. Have a wonderful day.
We're going through the 13 attributes of mercy, and we are now up to attribute number three, Hanun . Tosafot explains that Hanun is something different than Rachamim/mercy . He explains that rachamim,regular mercy is when a person is not in a time of challenge. Before the challenge comes, Hashem is merciful that he should not come into the situation. He says that the term Hanun is when a person is in a tight situation; to redeem someone who's crying out for help. He quotes a pasuk is Yeshaya 30, God will be Hanun ( we can call it gracious but there is no exact word for it for it) for your cries . He says that this works. God has mercy when someone cries, even if he’s not correct for screaming out; even if the person doesn't really have a case. His source, Shemot ( כב , ) talks about a man ( we’ll call him Abe) that lent somebody (Joe) a thousand dollars. Joe needs that money, but he has to give Abe collateral because Abe doesn't trust him. So Joe gives Abe his pajamas, but at night he wants his pajamas back. What is Abe supposed to do? Abe is supposed to give the pajamas back to Joe every night, and take his coat (that Joe doesn’t need at night) as collateral instead. So every night he is supposed to switch back and forth between day clothes and night clothes. If Abe doesn't do that (which is really beyond the call of duty), then when Joe cries out to God, Hashem says, כִּֽי־יִצְעַ֣ק אֵלַ֔י וְשָׁמַעְתִּ֖י כִּֽי־חַנּ֥וּן אָֽנִי If he cries out to Me, I'm going to hear, Because I have that Middah of Hanun when someone cries out. Hashem says, “ I can't see it. I can't watch somebody crying out and not do something.” That is Hashem’s Middah. And again, we also have to use this Middah . It's a big responsibility. Sometimes you're in a situation where someone cries out to you, begging you for help. And you just want to continue on your merry way and say, “ I’m not the guy. What are you coming to me for? You have no claim. ” That's basically what it means. You have no claim. And sometimes we go to God and we really have no claim. But we cry out to God and God says, “ Oh, you cried out, I have to use that Middah of Hanun.” We arouse Hashem’s Middah of Hanun by doing that with other people. When someone cries out to us, even if their cry is unfounded, we still need to respond. Have a wonderful day.
We continue discussing God's 13 Middot of Mercy, which are necessary for us to act with during the high holiday season. Middah number two on the Arizal’s list is Rahum . The question is, if we start off with saying A-donai, A-donai, which is already mercy (because God's name of Yud and Heh and Vav and Heh is inherently mercy), Why do we repeat the word rahamim/mercy ? Tosafot explains that it’s because there are two levels of mercy, and in his words (and it's actually a quote from the Gemara), “ Here it’s before repentance, and here it's after repentance.” This means that before a person sins, there's a certain level of mercy that God has. Then the person sins. But once he does teshuva, there’s a new creation of mercy for after the sin. The rabbis actually connect this to the concept of the two sets of luchot/tablets. The first set of tablets was given to us on Shavuot. They were broken after the sin of the golden calf on the 17 th of Tammuz, and Moshe Rabbenu took two sets of 40 days, until, on Yom Kippur, he brought down a second set of luchot . That means there was a set of luchot before the sin, and a set of tablets after the sin. God gave us a new Torah after the sin, for how to deal with people after sin. With the first Torah, it was assumed that there would be no sin, and no death. Moshe Rabbenu went up for an equal amount of days to create a new Torah, for dealing with the person after the sin. It's almost like saying Has v’Shalom , that someone had a child that went off to rehab because he had an addiction problem. When he comes back, they have to learn a new parenting style. How do I parent him after he comes back? With the same love and the same kindness, but with a different approach. So God has a new approach for after we do teshuva. God, so to say, create a new parenting approach, called the second set of tablets. And with that comes a second name of mercy called Rahum , for after the person sins and comes back. This may a hard one for us to emulate, because sometimes someone sin to us, whether it's a child, a friend, parent, spouse, sibling or business partner… they sin to us and it takes a while for us to get over it. When we finally get over it, we’re lukewarm. We don't have that same love. But Rabbenu Yonah says that God does. After our teshuva, He rekindles the same love for us, like we had beforehand. That's difficult. We celebrate Simchat Torah only after we received the second set of luchot . Why don't we celebrate Simchat Torah when we received the Torah, on Shavuot? Because that marriage didn't last. Imagine a couple who get married, then divorced, and then get remarried. When do they celebrate their anniversary, the first wedding or the second wedding? I’ve never asked anyone that question, but we see from God, that we celebrate the second wedding, because the first wedding didn't really make it that well. We celebrate the second wedding. The after-the-sin wedding; that's the new beginning. And that has to be our celebration with our friends. Even though someone wronged us, there's a new mercy that comes after they repented and came back to us, and that arouses the way God acts with us. These are difficult , difficult things to work on. It’s not easy. Anyone who has experienced someone who wronged them and now get along, may still harbor something. It's a life's work, but B’Ezrat Hashem, we will overcome this, because the dividends are great. The the more we do this to others, more God does it to us. Have a wonderful day.
I am currently in Hollywood, Florida on a speaking engagement, and sitting right across to me is my Floridian agent Mr. Aaron Moses, whom I thank for helping me spread Torah to other areas. Yesterday we started discussing the 13 Middot of Rachamim, Hashem’s 13 attributes of mercy. As we said, these are especially apropos for the month of Elul, because as we say Selichot and prepare for our Yom Kippur prayers, we say these 13 attributes many, many times. And, as we said yesterday, from the Reshit Hochma, it’s not enough to just say it, we have to act on it. But we can't act on it until we understand it. There is a Tosafot in Masechet Rosh Hashanah (in the Hagga on the side), that explains some of these middot. There's a difference of opinion in how to count them. We say A-donai, A-donai, El Rachum V’ Hanun… but where does the counting start? Are the two names of Hashem part of the list or not? There are many different opinions, but for our purposes today, we will go with the Arizal’s approach that the first trait of God is called El . What does El mean? Tosafot explains that El is the Middah of strength, as the pasuk says, Eleh haAretz, the strong ones , and another pasuk says, Mi Kamocha B’Elim Hashem. Even the word Elohim comes from the word strong or strength. That’s why Elohim usually indicates judgment. So how did El turn into the first of the attributes of mercy? Tosafot has a beautiful hiddush: God uses the Yad Hazaka/ strong arm to prepare food for all the creations. The term Yad hazaka shows up in the open miracles of Yetziat Mitzrayim. In order for God to bring food and sustenance to creation, God needs Yad hazaka . His source that the word El is referring specifically to parnasa is a pasuk in tehilim 104, where David Hamelech says הַ֭כְּפִירִים שֹׁאֲגִ֣ים לַטָּ֑רֶף וּלְבַקֵּ֖שׁ מֵאֵ֣ל אׇכְלָֽם׃ The lions roar for sustenance and to request food from El They're asking God's trait of power to feed them. Rav Wolbe wrote a whole thesis on how the connection to our Creator is so instinctive that even animals have it. Who trained animals to call out to God for sustenance? It’s an instinct that even animals have. But who do they know to ask from? They ask from El. Those that read Perek Shira know that animals connect to God. Every animal has a pasuk, and in this pasuk the lions roar and ask God for food. The term used in this pasuk, teref is sometimes used to mean torn up because lions eat things that are Teref , that they've torn up. So here teref can mean food , or it can mean a torn up carcass. And what does it have to do with us? We see from here that God works hard, so to say. He needs a Yad hazaka in order to feed creation. So if we want God to use His Yad hazaka to sustain us, with all the challenges in the economy today, then we also have to act with the Yad hazaka. This means that if you hear that your friend doesn't have a job, you don't just sit by passively. You use your Yad hazaka/strong arm tactics . How can I get this man a job? What am I going to do? I'm not going to sit by and wait . I'm going to use my Yad hazaka… and when I act with the trait of El for my fellow, that arouses the power of El for God to act with us. That is Middah number one on the hit parade of the 13 Middot Hashem. B’Ezrat Hashem, we will act with that Middah of El , and arouse God's power, His Yad hazaka, to sustain us. Have a wonderful day.
We have started Selichot , at least in the Sephardic world, and every single day for the next 40 days, we're going to say the 13 Middot many times, and on Yom Kippur as well. What is the significance of the 13 attributes of mercy? The Gemara in Masechet Rosh Hashana tells us, on the pasuk Vaya’avor Hashem el Panav Vayikra/ God passed over on His face and said , that Rav Yochanan says that if the pasuk did not say this, we couldn't say it. It’s as if God Himself wrapped Himself in a Talet like a Shaliach Sibor and showed Moshe Rabbenu how to properly say the 13 Middot. And He said, “ As long as the Jewish people do this in front of Me, I forgive them .” The Reshit Hochma brings down in the name the Geonim (Rabbis before the Rishonim, a thousand plus years ago) that we see many people that say the 13 attributes of mercy and are not answered. So what does it mean that God guarantees us if we say these 13 attributes? He answers that Yaasu/ will do this doesn't just mean to say it or wrap yourself in the talet . Yaasu means to do those 13 attributes of mercy. God is called El , Rachum, V’Hanun etc. We have to not just say them, but act upon them. It’s interesting that on Rosh Hashanah, when we do Tashlich , we say another 13 attributes, called Mi El Kamocha . But regardless of what the 13 attributes are, these are 13 attributes that God has, and we have to emulate God. When we emulate God with those middot, we are protected, and then we are saved. The more we act with these Middot, the more similar we are to God, and the more that God's name is called upon us. He quotes a Yalkut Shemoni, Parashat Ekev, (chapter 873) citing a pasuk in Yoel(3,5) : Anybody that has the name of God, will be protected. The Midrash asks, How can you get the name of God ? God's name is a Yud, and a Heh and and a Vav and a Heh. We can't even say His name! How could you be called the name of God? The Midrash answers that God is called Rachum V’Hanun, so we have to be called Rachum V’Hanun. God does acts of free kindness, so we have to do acts of free kindness. B’Ezrat Hashem, over the next few days, we will explain how we can emulate God in these 13 attributes. And it goes on and says, God is called Sadik, (as it says in tehilim 16,1 Ki Sadik Hashem) so you have to be a Sadik. God is called a Hasid (as it says in Yirmiyah), so you have to be pious . That’s what it means that If you have the name of God, you will be protected. You're a Rachum . You're a Hanun . When you're a generous person, then all of those titles and descriptions of kindness, a person gets that name. There's a rabbi in Israel, Rabbi Binyamin Finkel, a Mashgiach of the Mir in Yerushalayim, who gives great Berachot. Reading this Midrash, I understand why. He is known (going back literally 40 years), as Binyamin Hasadik/the righteous Binyamin. That means he's called the name of God. That's a powerful title, to have Sadik after your name. That's God's name. Imagine you get called so-and-so the Rachum , or so- and-so the Hanun . That's what we want. We want to be called by the name of God, which means acting in the traits of God. These are the 13 attributes of mercy, but it’s not enough just to say them. We have to act upon. The Reshit Hochma says that the underlying trait of all these 13 attributes is actually God's humility, because for God to ignore our sins, to a certain level, and forgive us, and to continue to bestow His goodness upon us is a tremendous level of humility. And we're going to see, Mi El Kamocha means that God accepts humility and disgrace and continues to benefit people. So the underlying trait of all these 13 Middot is the trait of humility. And it's interesting to note in the introduction to the Va’yaavor, humility is stressed. The introduction is called El Melech Yoshev Al Kiseh Rachamim God sits on the chair of mercy … He acts in piousness. He forgives our sins. He does acts of righteousness with everybody and He does not reciprocate according to our evil. And then it says, El , the God, (that's the first trait) Horitanu/He taught us to say these, Remember for us today, God made a deal, that If you act like that,, I'll forgive you. And who is the one that revealed this to us? It says, like you told the Humble one- We don't call him Moshe Rabbenu, we call them the humble one, because since these are traits of humility, the conduit to bring it down was the Humble One Moshe. That's the underlying theme of all these traits-to be humble. Have a wonderful day.
As we enter the month of Elul . I always like to quote from the letter that was hanging in the great Yeshiva of Kelm, throughout the month of Elul. And this is what it says: It's well known that the Gemara Rosh Hashanah 34B says,“Say in front of God, verses of kingdom on Rosh Hashanah, in order to coronate Him” And he adds, “If we analyze the strength of a kingdom of flesh and blood, it only works when the servants are united in the service of the king. That’s what keeps the kingdom going. If there is a breakdown in the unity of the servants of the king, the entire kingdom breaks down, and the world will be destroyed. As it says in Pirkei Avot (perek 3, Mishan 2 )”If not for the fear of government, man would swallow his friend up alive.” So if there's a breakdown in government, there's anarchy. The unity of the servants is what keeps the kingdom going. Rabbenu Tam, in his Sefer Yashar, writes that through the flesh and blood kingdoms, we can understand how to serve God. And if that's the case, we understand that the main point in coronating God upon us has to do with the unity of servants. As it says in Devarim 33, 5 (and as we say in our Rosh Hashana prayers), God is King amongst the Jewish people (and if the leaders are united then the tribes are united as well). God knows what's going on in our hearts, as well as what is revealed, equally. And therefore, before the great judgment day of Rosh Hashanah, we have to accept upon ourselves to involve ourselves the entire year in the positive commandment of VeAhavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. In that way. there'll be unity among the servants, the kingdom will stand properly, we will cause the strength of the kingdom and God will remember us for the good. But if, heaven forbid, we have the sin of hatred in our hearts, how can we not be embarrassed to lie in front of God- Heaven forbid, and say, “Be King upon the whole world in Your glory,” if we ourselves are not preparing the main fundamental to keep the kingdom going. Therefore, we should accept upon ourselves, this involvement in loving each other and unity. Slowly but surely, we will get better at it. And we’ll be considered someone who is returning and repenting a little bit. Who could imagine the great merit for us, and the whole world, if there was a group of people involved, the entire upcoming year, in working on this trait . And a person should not say, “It’s too hard..loving each other is too hard.” First of all, it's a commandment from God and we have to do it, but it's not as hard as it seems. If you keep on thinking about it, slowly but surely not only will it not be hard, you're going to enjoy it. This concept should not be removed from your consciousness the entire year. And with that, we'll all merit a great year, amongst the rest of the Jewish people. It’s a good idea to set aside a spot during our prayers, to think about this every day. The suggested spot is when we say before our Amida Al sfat hayam , yahad kulam / On the sea, we, all together, said… That’s an indication of love and brotherhood. And we said, “We all made God King upon ourselves.” That means the prerequisite to saying Hashem Yimloch L’Olam Va’ed/ Hashem will be King forever, is only if it's Yachad Kulam/ all together. Without that, it's not really accepting God is king. Therefore, we have to work on this constantly. We should merit, with God's help, to accept upon ourselves God's kingdom in the proper way, with all the Jewish people. Amen This is the beautiful letter that was hanging on the front door of the Yeshiva of Kelm, to be read by everybody, every single day. It would be a wonderful idea to print this out and insert it in your prayers every day, when you're thinking about it. That would be a great preparation for the high holidays.
In this week's Parasha, Re’eh , which we always read right before Elul, there’s a a Pasuk that says, “ ונתן לך רחמים ורחמך God will give you the attribute of mercy, (which you'll means you'll have, you'll be merciful people), and then He'll have have mercy on you. That means if a person himself doesn't have mercy, God doesn't have mercy on him. As the Gemara in Shabbat (151A) says, “ Whoever has mercy on other creatures, they will have mercy on him from heaven, and the opposite- for those who don’t have mercy on other creatures, they don't have mercy on him from heaven.” And the source of this, the Pesichta Rabbati says it goes back to Abraham Avinu, who, when he prayed for Avimelech and had mercy on him, God had mercy and Avraham, and Avraham had children. Reshit Raba, 33,3 tells the story of when, in the days of Rabi Tanhuma, there was a drought and the Jewish people fasted for three days, and there was no rain. It’s possible that they broke their fast at night, but regardless, they fasted for three days. And then the Rabi Tanhuma said that fasting would not do the job. “ My children, ” he said, “ Have mercy on each other and Hashem will have mercy on you.” So they started giving charity to each other. But then they saw a man coming out of the house of his ex-wife, and they said, “ Aha… the reason that the rain is not coming is because these people are sinning together.What is this man doing in his ex-wife's house?” When they asked him about it, he explained that he had given her money. When they asked why , he explaine d, “ I see that she's in pain, and I filled myself with mercy on her. Rabi Tanhuma then pointed his face to heaven and said, “ Master of the universe, if this man, who no longer has a responsibility to feed his wife, sees that she's in pain and has mercy on her, and it says on You, God, Hanun V’Rachum/You are merciful and benevolent, and we are the sons of Abraham, Yitzhak and Yaakov, then surely You should be overflowing with mercy on us.” And immediately the rain came down. The principle here that is explained by the Chafetz Chaim, in his Sefer Ahavat Hesed (volume 2 chapter 3), is that Hashem has two traits that He uses to rule the world. One is the trait of justice, and one is the trait of mercy. Even if a person is righteous, he still needs to have mercy because if God were to start looking into our deeds and really analyze whether we did we do our Mitzvot with the proper fear, the proper love, with the right Kavana…. if God really analyzed our Mitzvot carefully, then we wouldn't pass the test. But, you can look at a person's deeds in a more merciful way. You can see that yes, he got up and he went to pray Netz . It’s true that he wasn't concentrating the whole time, but come on, he came to shul. So there are two ways to look at everything. And we want Hashem to look at us with the trait of mercy. The Chafetz Chaim tells us that the way to get Hashem to look at us in the more merciful way, and not with the approach of justice, all depends on how we treat people. If you treat people with kindness and mercy, you arouse God's kindness and mercy above, and they have mercy on you. That's what the Gemara quoted above tells us.. This is to the extent that he quotes a Zohar that says that after 120 years, if a person used to be Mevater/forbearing to other people, then God will Mevater and make things easier for him. But if person was never easy going and never had mercy, he causes justice to be aroused against him. This is especially important as we enter the month of Elul. In the Syrian and other Sephardic communities, when they announced the month of Elul, it's called Elul Rachamim , Elul the month of mercy. My great-grandfather, Avraham David Sithon, had a diary that we found after he passed away. It was eventually translated from the old, Arabic into regular Hebrew, and in it, when he dated the entries for the month of Elul, we noticed that he referred to the month as Elul Rachamim - It's an ancient custom that goes back over 100 years. Elul is Elul Rachamim . But who makes Elul into Elul Rachamim? We do, by the way, we treat other people. Have a wonderful month.
We are continuing with stories from the book, At Any Hour about Rabbi Gissinger. In chapter two, entitled He Cared Deeply, there is a story of a man who went to a restaurant in the Lakewood of old, called “Falafel and Chips” on the corner of Fifth Street and Clifton Avenue. He he didn't really know Rabbi Gissinger well, since he had just moved to the neighborhood, but he saw him standing at the counter of the restaurant, asking all kinds of questions about what was good, what will people like etc… The man behind the counter said, “ A sub sandwich .” So the Rabbi started asking about toppings. “ What about fried onions? And what else should I add? Tomatoes and pickles… mustard and barbecue sauce. Back and forth it went until they made the most unbelievable sandwich. The man standing there said he actually felt a little embarrassed for the Rabbi. A rabbi is supposed to be a little bit more dignified… why was he getting so involved with this super sub sandwich? He didn't say anything, but he was a little troubled by the incident. When the rabbi’s order was packaged and paid for, this man ordered a simple turkey sandwich and left. He saw the Rabbi's car pulling out and was right behind him. He lived near the Rabbi, and assumed that he'd be pulling into his house. But Rabbi Gissinger didn’t stop at his house. He continued and made a right turn on another street. The man was curious. Where was the Rabbi going? On a whim, he decided to follow the Rabbi..who pulled up to a neglected looking house, jumped out of the car, ran to the house, put the bag on the door handle and ran out. The man suddenly realized what had happened, and was ashamed for suspecting the Rabbi of making the sandwich for himself. He was actually buying the sandwich for someone else, obviously a poor individual that needed a little bit of hizuk. So the Rabbi bought him a nice sandwich, and left it on the door handle. This was an example of the sensitivity of this great rabbi. The man continued with the story and said that when he met the Rabbi he told him what he witnessed- the whole story, that he had caught him red handed in his hidden hesed. He then asked the Rabbi, “ When you saw me in the store, why didn’t you just tell me, ‘Hi, Meyer. So good to see you. I'm here picking up a sandwich for someone else?’” The Rabbi answered in a way that this man said rings in his ears until today. “ And how would that make you feel? ” In other words, how would he have felt if the Rabbi excused himself from being in the store, implicitly indicating that he didn’t have a good excuse for being there? That was the sensitivity, never to make a person feel out of place, and always to make someone happy when he was able to. That is our story for today. Great lessons from a great man. Have a wonderful day.
We recently shared some stories from the Artscroll biography of Rabbi Shlomo Gissinger, At Any Hour . I'd like to share a few more unbelievable stories about this great man, as a lesson for rabbis (if there are any reading this) and for laymen as well. The first story involved a man who lived in Eretz Yisrael who was a speech therapist that specialized in assisting people that stutter. He sent an email to Rabbi Gissinger saying that he would be coming to Lakewood for a few weeks, and wanted to possibly give some training courses and drum up some business. And what did Rabbi Gissinger do? He took the advertisement describing the services of the speech therapist, and sent it to a graphic design company to have an flyer made up. Then he went through the trouble of signing each flyer, as an endorsement of this man. Then, using his own money, he hired somebody to distribute the flyers in shuls all over over Lakewood. And then he allowed this man to use his shul for free, to give the seminar on stuttering. And Rabbi Gissinger introduced him to the crowd! He wasn't asked to do this. He took the initiative and did it all on his own. In a second story, one of his neighbors had moved from Denver to Lakewood and did not have a good job to support his large family with. The rabbi up with the perfect idea for him. "Why don't you open up a shoe repair business?” he suggested. The man replied, “ A shoe-repair business? As in me repairing shoes? I don't know the first thing about shoe repair. I'm not a shoe maker. My father wasn't a shoemaker…. the whole idea is foreign to me,” “ Ron, I did my research ,” Rabbi Gissinger said, “ There's only one shoemaker in all of Lakewood. I will help train you, and you'll learn the profession.” It took some convincing, but the Rabbi won the man over and he got the training. The Rabbi negotiated the lease, and even came up with the name of the business for him. And the man said, many years later, “ How in the world of the Rabbi see that it would be financially successful?” So much so, that eventually this man's son opened a second branch in Lakewood! Our final story is about the Rabbi's concern for the business needs of his congregants, neighbors and even distant people: A certain man had a growing family, and ran a seasonal business which was not earning enough money, so he decided to take a real estate course, hoping to make some additional income. Deep into the course, on the night before the test, somehow it wasn't going in. Rabbi Gissinger was known for seeing people from 9:00 PM to 2:00 AM every single day. People would wait on line to ask the Rabbi for advise. It was close to two o'clock in the morning, so this man decided, to give it a try. Maybe Rabbi Gissinger could give him advice. So he walked in at 2:00 AM and said, “ I'm stuck. I have a big test on my real estate course tomorrow, and it's just not going in. I don't know what to do.” In a serene and soothing voice, the Rabbi said, “ Do you have the textbook with you? Bring it in.” And for the next few hours, straight through the night, the Rabbi reviewed the course material with the man, making sure that he knew it, and that he would pass the test. These are unbelievable stories that show the concern that a Rabbi had for his community at large. They show how every individual can go out of their boundaries, and that is really the point. It’s not a rabbi's job to send advertisements to graphic designers, to give advice on opening a business, or to train somebody for his real estate license test. That doesn't go under a rabbi's job description. But Rabbi Gissinger went out of his boundaries, because he cared for people. And that's the lesson for us. Have a wonderful day.
There is a beautiful book by Artscroll called At Any Hour about Rabbi Shlomo Gissinger, who was a great Rabbi that lived in Lakewood. In the first chapter, it tells the following story: Rabbi Yosef Abekassis once accompanied Rabbi Gissinger to the Catskills to visit someone who was ill and needed hizuk . At the end of the visit, Rabbi Gissinger asked Rabbi Abekasis if he had a mezuza on the car. Rabbi Gissinger then explained that a mezuza is a Shemira - it protects your house. He said that just like your house needs protection, your car needs protection, and the way to give protection to your car is to always try to engage in Mitzvot with it. In that way, it's like you have a mezuza on your car, or for that, for that manner, on anything that you own. Then he told Rabbi Abekasis that they needed to do a Hessed on their way back from the Catskills to Lakewood. He wondered if there might be someone that needed a lift, that they could take. However, there was no one around in that area that needed a ride. So the Rabbi went on to call several camps in the area, explaining that he was in the Catskills, going back to Lakewood, and was more than happy to offer anyone a lift. Finally, they found two boys who needed a ride. It was a Sunday afternoon, and there was a lot of traffic in the Catskills region, so the driver, Rabbi Abekasis, asked if maybe the boys could come and meet them. Rabbi Gissinger said, “ Absolutely not. We're going to pick them up in their camp,” although it was a considerable distance from where they were at the time. They eventually reached a compromise and met between the two locations. For the entire trip, Rabbi Gissinger interacted with the two boys, 10, 11 years old, discussing topics, as if they were old friends. Rabbi Abekasis said that it was amazing that Rav i Gissinger was extremely busy, and yet, when it came to doing the Hessed for people, he had time, because it's a mezuzah, and there's a lot of time for Mitzvot. Rabbi Gissinger once said to Rabbi Abekasis, “ For me, I have no time. For others, I have all the time in the world.” His son, Rabbi Binyamin related that it was not uncommon for his father come to his house and ask to borrow their minivan, because he had to go somewhere, and he had lent out all three of the family cars. His attitude was that anything he had was there to do Hessed with, to lend out to others, and for other people to benefit from. But sometimes people have possessions that they're not comfortable lending out- like a set of golf clubs, your new sports car or whatever it may be, that you're just not comfortable letting somebody else use. It's only for you. And someone once told me that If you have something that you're not comfortable lending out to other people, then you shouldn't have it. That beautiful concept comes to mind when I think of Rabbi Gissinger saying everything needs a mezuza on it, and that mezuza is doing acts of hesed. Have a wonderful day.
This week's parasha discusses one of the Mitzvot in the Torah, V’Halachta B’Derachav/Go in the ways of God . The pasuk says that our responsibility is to: לְאַהֲבָ֞ה אֶת־ה׳ אֱלֹהֵיכֶ֛ם לָלֶ֥כֶת בְּכׇל־דְּרָכָ֖יו וּלְדׇבְקָה־בֽוֹ׃ Love Hashem, your God, Go in all His ways and Cleave to Him. What does that mean exactly? The Pele Yoetz (and I'm sure many others) says that people love people whom they look up to. They love their role models, and because they they look up to them and love them, they want to be like them, whomever they might be. Out in the world, people look up to sports stars and singers. They want to be like them, they want to have hairstyles like them, they talk like them and act like them… because they love them. And because they love them, they want be like them. Our job is to love Hashem our God . He’s the One that we love. He's our role model. He's the one we look up to. And that's why it says, Lalechet B’chol Drachav/ I want to be like Him. What does it mean to be like Him? Rashi says Hu Rachum/He is merciful, so you should be merciful. Hu Gomel Hassadim/He does acts of kindness, so you do acts of kindness. Our entire approach to Hessed comes, not just from a humanistic approach, but rather, from wanting to be like God. Our Hessed comes from our love of God. Avraham Avinu is called Avraham Ahavi/ Avraham, the one that loves God . And Abraham is the one that does hessed. Rav Wolbe says that it's not a coincidence that Avraham Avinu’s Emuna and knowledge of God brought him to Hessed, because it was his understanding of God and his love of God that made him want to be like God. And so, he went in the ways of God. Abraham Avinu went in the ways of God . That is what is says, describing Avraham Avinu. That is the fundamental of our Ahavat Habriot/ Our love for our fellow man. It comes from our emulating God. There are two additional words in the pasuk: L’Davka Bo/to cleave to Him . This doesn’t seem to fit in. Rashi asks: How can we cleave to God? God is a fire! Rather, he explains that it means to connect ourselves to students and to scholars, and Hashem will consider that as if we’ve cleaved to Him. The Siftei Hachamim explains the connection between the two: By cleaving to Talmidei Hachamim , you will become Rachum/merciful and a Gomel Hessed/doer of kindness. This is because the Talmid Hacham is supposed to be the one who emulates God, through his learning. The best way to become like God is is to know God's ways, and you know God's ways by learning His Torah. That's why it says, VeAhavta Et Hashem’s Elokecha/Love Hashem your God and right after that it says, that …. these words should be on your heart. The Torah tells us the ways of God, so by learning Torah, and knowing the ways of God, you can emulate God. But what if I can't? What if I'm not able to? Then by cleaving to Talmedei Hachamim, I'll be able to emulate God. And what gives the Talmedei Hachamim their Deveikut is by clinging to the Torah. That's the way they connect. For those of us that can't necessarily do that, we're able to use these great rabbis as role models. That's why we love telling stories about Gedolim .. Great people are people that are Rachum and Gomel Hessed . We've said many times that the definition of a Gadol/Great person is someone that helps people who are smaller than him. So great people are people that have the ways of God, and emulate God. And if I can't go directly to God, I'll emulate those great people that emulate God. Our entire hessed system is based on emulating God, or emulating people that emulate God. What a beautiful lesson, from this week's Parasha (Perek יא ,pasuk כב with Rashi). Have a wonderful day and a Shabbat Shalom.
We've mentioned many times that there's a strong connection between Mitzvot of man and his fellow and man and God. Avodah Zara/idol worship , is, of course, horrible. But in a way, God considers thievery as similar to idol worship. This week's Parasha tells us, “ Do not bring an abomination into your house. ” This abomination refers to an idol. Don't bring an idol into your house or your possession. If you do, “ You'll be ex-communicated like it . ” This means that the negative force of the idol will impact you, and therefore, despise it and keep it away . The Sefer Hinuch, in Mitzvah 423 explains this on the simple level and adds that included in this mitzvah is that a person should not have money in his possession that came in an improper way- stolen money, money from interest, or any other type money is not rightfully his. He says that this falls under the category of idol worship. And he quotes a pasuk , “ Lest you have in your heart a thought that's improper called Beli Al, ( which refers to someone that doesn't want to lend the money when Shemitta comes around). This same term, Beli Al, is used in the context of idolatry, when men went out and caused the city to worship idols. So there is a connection between money that's received improperly, and idol worship. And he says that in both cases, “ You'll be ex-communicated like this . ” What does that mean? He says “ The blessing of God is not in that money,” and it's going to cause the rest of the money to be wiped out as well. He quotes a Gemara in Baba Metzia 71a, “ One small coin of interest-earned money can destroy many warehouses of money .” Just like a little mold can spread and ruin something, so can illegal money. The point for us today is that the Torah is equating illegal money, that came from stealing from your fellow, to idolatrous money. It’s an important point to be aware of. People don't want idols in their homes; they wouldn’t have a Buddha doll in the house… but we have to realize that money earned in an improper way has the same negative force as an idol. Because we have to look at our fellow man in a similar way that we look at God. Have a wonderful day.
The Mitzvah of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/ love your friend like you love yourself is not just about looking at your friend and loving him. It’s that too, but there are more details to this Mitzvah. We should love him like we love ourselves, and whatever we wouldn’t want done to us, we don’t want done to him. There are practical details. The Sefer Charedim ( perek ט ) gives examples of this: Firstly, you have to praise your friend. When you say about somebody, “ He’s a good guy….He is a hard worker…He takes care of his family….He is a good community member, ” or any other form of praise about him, you are fulfilling the Mitzvah of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. Wouldn’t you want your friend to praise you? Of course, you should have in the back of your mind that you are fulfilling a mitzvah, and that should drive you, especially if you are not yet at the level yet that you literally feel “ kamocha- like it’s you yourself.” Praising someone is a great opportunity for this. Number two- Care about his money . If you hear about some new government program, or you hear about a certain business opportunity, tell your friend about it. Number three - You should consider your friend’s honor the way you want to be honored. Look out for his benefit. Let use a simple example, in order to make this real: As you’re walking down the street you notice your friend’s car, and the headlights are on. Of course, it’s possible that he just left the car, and the headlights will shut off in a moment or two on their own. But what if he forgot his headlights were on, and they’re going to stay on the whole night and drain his battery? Either you can keep walking, or you can wait a moment or two. If you wait a few minutes and see that his headlights are still on, you can go knock on his door and take care of it, because you care about him. There are myriads of examples of things that go on, where you want to help somebody Number four- Be happy when something good happens to him, and feel bad when something bad happens. This is an unbelievable opportunity. Every time you get an invite via text, instead of sighing and thinking, “ Oh no! Another engagement party! Another bris… another Pidyon Haben,” you can think, “ Wow! How nice! I’m so excited! I’m thrilled for this person!” Just feel simcha for the person! And if has v’shalom, you hear that someone needs tehilim , feel bad. When you think about that person, and do it right, you just got another Mitzvah: Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. Even better is to go to their wedding! Go and stay a long time. If nobody came to your wedding, you wouldn’t be happy. We have to constantly do, and think Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha It has to become a mantra, a motto. We have to live by it. Tomorrow we will continue with more examples.
We continue with stories of the great sensitivity of the Steipler. Bring that that Steipler was a great man in his generation, people would often come to him with their sefer, to ask for an approbation, and would leave a copy of the sefer for the Rav. Over the years, he had accumulated very many new books that were given to him as gifts, but he had no room to keep them , so he gave out the books to his grand children. However, w henever he gave them a book, he would say , “ T ake this book, it’s a good book. ” He always stressed that there was something they’d be able to gain from it, and explained that he really wanted to keep it in his house, but he had no room for it. And again he would say that it’s a really good sefer . He did this because he did not want t here to be any possibility of disgrace to the author, as if he gave it away because there was something wrong with the sefer. He loved it, he would say, but he had no room for it. However, was even more careful when he knew the author wasn’t coming from a distan t pl ace , but rather , was someone w ho was often in his home. In those cases he would not give away the books, because he understood that the people liked to look and see that the ir book s w ere still on his shelves. If they didn’t see their book s , they would be insulted , so he kept track of the local authors that gave him sefarim, so that he wouldn’t possibly insult them by giving away they’re sefarim. In another extreme example of his sensitivity, it wa s about 11am on Erev Pesach. A Bechor/first born had been late to shul that morning and did not hear the siyum. He asked Steipler what to do , because he did not want to have to fast all day. The Steipler told him to come back in one hour. The young man thought the Stei pler would look into the question and tell him what to do in an hour ’s time. But when the man return ed an hour later, the Steipler told him that in that hour, he had a chance to finish a Masechet on the man’s behalf. He could now make a siyum , so that th e man would be able to eat. Wonder of wonders! A great man, on a busy Erev Pesach, took an hour of his time to make a Siyum on a Masechet Horayot, with 11 daphim/22 sides, j ust to help a man, so that he wouldn’t have to fast on Erev Pesach (which is what the first borns have to do unless they hear a siyum).. I’m another display of his great sensitivity, on the day before Yom Kippur, large amounts of people would come to get a beracha from the Steipler for a good year. Although he was old and weak, he saw people from seven at night until 12, without a break. People asked him why he c ouldn’t just lock his door , but he answered, “ How can I push of f people on Erev Yom Kippur ? On the day that you need the most zechuyot , I should push someone away? ” Sometimes we get bothered by calls , and things, but this is way and Adam Gadol looks at things .
We have spoken in the past of the great sensitivities th at Gedolim have for the feelings of others. There is a famous story about the Steipler that illustrates this point. It was the high holiday season in the Kollel Chazon Ish, where great Sadikim such as Rav Shteinman, Rav Michel Yehuda Leftkowitz and others prayed on the high holidays. Next to the front row was a small bench w here some of the children of the great rabbis would pray. A man, Rabbi Halpern,had printed very large Machzorim in his printing press, which had gone bankrupt, and he decided to donate the leftover Machzorim to various shuls. These Machzors were the size of a Gemara (which is probably why they went out of print). One 11-year-old boy decided to use this very large Machzor. The Steipler sat directly across from this boy, and noticed that for the entire prayers, the boy was shaking back and forth with what seemed to be a Gemara. Th e Steipler thought it was strange that the young boy hadn’t separat ed himself from the Gemara entire time. Even though he was only 11, he was supposed to be praying on Rosh Hashanah. Then , when the boy lef t, the Steipler got up, picked up the Machzor, (which he thought was a Gemara) and put it with the rest of the Gemarot on the bookshelf. When the boy came back and didn’t see his large Machzor, he found a regular Machzor and continued to pray. Two years later, the father of this boy invited the St e ipler to his son ’ s bar mitzvah . The St e ipler then asked the boy ’s father to please do him a favor ; once the boy becomes a Bar Mitzvah, ask him for Mechila in the Steipler’s name, for paining him two years earlier on Rosh Hashana. The Steipler also sent a present for the boy. Two weeks later, the St ei pler met up with the boy’s father and asked him if he had asked his son for forgiveness. The father confessed that he had forgotten, and the Steipler asked him to please go now and ask his son f or Mechila. He did, and went back to inform the Steipler, who thanked him. These are the details of this wonderful, small story, which is actually not so small. A great man made a mistake, realized his mistake, did not forget that he needed to ask forgiveness, but did not ask forgiveness of the boy at age 11 because he was too young to forgive. He waited for him to become old enough to forgive him for what he had done. Wonder of wonders, the sensitivity of great people. Have a wonderful day.
In the past we have mentioned how giving rebuke is connected to love, and a lack of rebuke is connected to hate. There is a thought from the Alshech on this week’s Parasha, on the pasuk that we say every day in Keriat Shema, וְהָיוּ הַדְּ֒בָרִים הָאֵֽלֶּה אֲשֶׁר֯ אָ֯נֹכִי מְצַוְּ֒ךָ הַיּוֹם עַל֯־לְ֯בָבֶֽךָ Words that I command you should be on your heart, וְשִׁנַּנְתָּם לְבָנֶֽיךָ V’Shinantem LBanecha and teach your children. The word Shinantem is a hard word. It should say VLimadetem , like it says in the second Parasha- teach your children. Shanun means sharp , as the rabbi in the Gemara was called Shinana/Sharp one. So simply it means to teach in a way that the words are sharp, or clear. But the Alshech has a different explanation. He says that there are many pesukim in tehilim that use the word shinunim as arrows : such as, חִצֶּ֗יךָ שְׁנ֫וּנִ֥ים Your arrows are sharp, And חִצֵּ֣י גִבּ֣וֹר שְׁנוּנִ֑ים עִ֝֗ם גַּחֲלֵ֥י רְתָמִֽים The arrows of the strong man are sharp. And also in Yeshaya… Every time the word Shinunim shows up in Mavi , it is regarding arrows . So what is this concept of arrows in relation to teaching? As the pasuk says, “ Words that come out of the heart enter the heart. ” When we teach our children, we have to make sure that it will be in a such a way that it will enter, and pierce the heart. That is why it refers to arrows . We want the words to pierce their hearts. Not just to go in one ear and out the other. How do we make the words pierce their hearts? It has to be Al Levavecha/ on your heart . It has to be something that you are really feeling. You can’t give someone mussar when you really aren’t holding there. If a rabbi just gets up and read s a story , but he is not feeling it , it won’t penetrate . A person has to feel it in order for it to penetrate. In the Sef er Yashar from one of the Rish onim, it says that when you give a student mussar, don’t forget to give yourself mussar. You can’t tell somebody something that you yourself don’t believe in. Otherwise, it won’t enter. It will go into their ears, but not into their hearts. He continues and says that a great man once said, “ How do I know when someone’s words are coming out of their heart? If I feel it entering my heart. If I hear Mussar and I feel it, then it means that the person that gave it was giving it with all his heart and soul. And if I don’t feel it, and I was not aroused, that means it was only lip service.“ This is an important concept. When people do not accept our musar, w hen our children aren’t listening to us, when you wonder why y our students aren’t listening to you , it’s possible that it is not really coming out of your heart. You can tell anybody anything, and you can give anyone Mussar, but it’s not enough for it to be external. It has to come from within. That is why having concern is not enough. You have to feel it. You yourself have to feel it and want to give it over to the person , because you care about him. T hat way, it will enter like an arrow pierces the heart. That is why we say V’Shinantem LeBanecha / Teach your children. We have to say it in a way that will pierce their hearts. Have a wonderful day and a Shabbat Shalom .
We have spoken in the past about the concept that we have to love the Ger/ convert. The convert does not just refer to someone who converted to Judaism. The con vert is anybody who is not from our inner circle, whether they be a foreigner or immigrant . A nyone who doesn’t belong in the inner clique is considered a Ger, and we have an added responsibility to love them. As we discussed, the Pele Yoetz says that this refers to Sepharadim amongst Ashkenazim, Hasidim amongst Litaim and the like. There’s a beautiful story brought down by Rabbi Yair Hoffman: There was a married couple with children that had moved from the United States to Bnei Brak. The couple had converted to Torah Judaism while yet in America, and had sought a more spiritual environment. Their daughter attended a Bet Yaakov in Bnei Brak. Unfortunately, she was teased by some of the other girls in her school. As a result, she did not wish to go back to school. The parents were at wits’ end and did not know what to do. It was suggested that they go to Rav Shach zt”l for advice. After presenting the problem to Rav Shach, he requested that they bring their daughter to him. Rav Shach asked the young girl. “Do you know who I am?” The girl responded, “Of course, you are Rav Shach.” Rav Shach responded, “Yes, but I am also going to tell you something else.” He continued, “Do you know that I too am a Ger? And not only that, but many teachers in your Bet Yaakov are also Gerim. There is nothing wrong with being a Ger – in fact, it is a very precious things and something of which to be very proud. So, if anyone ever says anything negative – smile to yourself and be very proud.” Rav Shach was widely known for his absolute devotion to Emet/Truth. After, the meeting with the young girl, someone who was present asked Rav Shach how he could have left the young girl with the impression that he was actually a Ger. Rav Shach explained: "In order to remove tzaar/anguish from someone – it is permitted to lie. Chazal tell us that for someone who is careful to be meticulous in only saying the emet, it is“mutar l’shanon mipnei hashalom/ in order to promote peace and harmony, it is permitted to “veer.” This also includes trying to alleviate someone’s tzaar – anguish.Nonetheless, it is still preferable, if possible, to use an expression that is still technically true – even if the person you are speaking to may interpret it differently. It states in Parshas Aikev (Dvarim 10:19). “You must love the Ger, for you were Gerim in Mitzrayim.” Technically we are all Gerim (and/or descendants thereof). The young lady went back to school and adjusted quite well, having been inspired by Rav Shach zt”l This is an example of a Gadol who t ook th is lesson to the point that he felt it was honest to say, “ I am a G er. ” God made it that way, that we are all Gerim , in order that no one should feel uncomfortable for feeling different or strange. We are all Gerim . We are all Conver ts . We are all foreigners We all don’t necessarily fit in. This is true for all Jewish people. As David Hamelech says in Tehili m 39,13 “ God, listen to my prayers. Don’t be quiet, כִּ֤י גֵ֣ר אָנֹכִ֣י עִמָּ֑ךְ תּ֝וֹשָׁ֗ב כְּכׇל־אֲבוֹתָֽי Because I am a convert with you. What does he mean?The Radak says that a person in this world, is like an immigrant. He goes from place to place, he does not last here . Every day we are traveling, we don’t know where we are going. Therefore, we are all converts. In Tehilim 119, 19 David Hamelech says, “ גר אנכי בארץ I am a convert/foreigner/transient in this land. David Hamelech calls himself a Ger , Rav Shach called himself a Ger , and therefore we cannot look down on anyone that is different- a foreigner, an immigrant, or the like. Have a wonderful day.
Kavod HaBeriot/Respect for Creations is something very important in the Torah, to the point that the Gemara tells us that in certain circumstances, Torah prohibitions are waived due to respect for people. One example that brings out the importance of Kavod HaBeriot is the following: A Koh en is not allowed to contaminate himself with the dead . When someone passes away, a kohen is not allowed to enter the funeral home, b ecause the re is a contamination of the dead that a Kohen has to stay away from . Ye t the Torah makes an exception for the Kohen ’s seven close relatives. D ifferent reasons for this exception, are offered by different Rishonim. The Sefer Hinuch says that Hashem is understanding of human emotions, and because people are in extreme pain when a close relative passes away, to ask a kohen to stay away would be asking too much. Therefore the Torah allows it. The Ramban offers a different reaso n, citing a very interesting concept in the Gemara that when a Nasi/prince passes away, according to some opinions, a Kohen is allowed to go to the funeral. And furthermore, it’s brought down in Tosafot that when a great rabbi, Rabbenu Tam passed away, one of the Kohan im, Rav Chaim Cohen said, “ If I would have been there at the time , I would have gone to the funeral. ” All the rabbis are bothered by th is . What does that mean? How c ould a Kohen go to the funeral, even for a great Rabbi? He is not allowed to contaminate himself with the d ead. The Ramban explains the concept of contaminating oneself to a prince , and also for the Met Mitzvah ( When someone passes away, and there is no one there to bury him, even a Kohen Gadol/ the high priest, has the right to contaminate himself to perform this mitzvah ) . The Gemara says, b ased on the understanding of the great rabbis, that it is because of Kavod HaBeriot/Respect for Creations. This man’s body was lying there without anyone to bury him. That lack of respect for the human body with its Tselem Elokim, halachically r equires a K ohen to contaminate himself. And the Ramban says that the Kohen can contaminate himself for his seven c lose relatives for the same reason. It would be a lack of respect to the relative if his close ones were not there at the funeral. He takes it a step further and says that the prince deserves great honor at his funeral, and thus Kohanim can attend his funeral, in order to bring honor to the deceased. With that, they explain the T osafot about Rabbenu Tam’s funeral as well. Although it is not for us today to decide who great rabbis are , u nder the circumstances then, Rabbi Chaim Cohen felt that he would be allowed to go to the funeral of this great Rabbi, out of respect for him. This is an unbelievable concept. As contaminated as the dead body is, and as improper as it is for a Kohen to have any connection to that contamination, out of respect for the deceased, the T orah itself allows this to happen. Of course , this does not mean that we are allowed to transgress sins in order to bring people respect. We can’t drive to somebody’s party on Shabbat out of respect. The re are guidelines. But it brings out how important it is to have respect for people, and certainly in case s in which there is no Halacha preventing it. If it means walking a great distance for somebody’s affair on a Shabbat, or whatever it may be, going the extra mile falls under the concept of Kavod HaBeriot/Respect for Creations, w hich is a great Torah- sanctioned and recognized concept. Have a wonderful day.
There is another lesson from the story of Kamsa and Bar Kamsa. Let’s back it up for a moment : As we know, an unknown man has a friend, and an enemy. His friend ’s name is Kamsa, and his enemy’s name is Bar Kamsa . It’s question able whether this is a father and son, or two people with similar name s . The Gemara says that the Bet Hamikdash was destroyed because of Kamsa and Bar Kamsa. In this story, an unknown man mistakenly invites his enemy , Bar Kamsa, to his party when he really intended to invite Kamsa. He had sent his messenger to Kamsa with an invitation, but Bar Kamsa got invited instead . According to most opinions, Kamsa was not at the part y, because Bar Kamsa was accidentally invited instead of him. Then Bar Kamsa was thrown out of the party because the unknown man didn’t like him. The question is asked, why are we blaming Kamsa ? He was never even at the party, and he’s the one that was liked by the unknown host. What does he have to do with our story? There are different answers given. One answer is that in truth, he had nothing to do with it. The Bet Hamikdash was destroyed over confusion between Kamsa and Bar Kamsa, but Kamsa is not to blame at all. That is what the Chida says. But most others do blame Kamsa. Why? One answer is that if Kamsa was a good frien d of th e host, and he knew that the host had an enemy, it’s his job, as a good friend, to make peace. This is an important lesson for us. If you know your friend is in an argument, don’t be there to back up the argument . As an outsider, you don’t have the same biases as he does. You can see things straight. Your job, as a good friend, is to put some peaceful ideas into his mind. That’s our first lesson. That is why Kamsa the friend was responsible - for not intervening. The second lesson is that the whole story started because Kamsa needed a messenger sent to him in order to invite him to the party. The m essenger didn’t come, so he didn’t go to the party. This is where all the confusion started. If, in truth, he would have gone to the party, that might have avoided the whole story. He would have been there, and he could’ve said, “ C alm down it’s a mistake. It’s a confusion. “ Why did he even need a messenger to begin with? Why not just go to the party ? The rabbis explain that Kamsa with somebody who stood on ceremony. That is why he wasn’t at the party, and that is why he needed a messenger to invite him. And th at is where the whole story started. If Kamsa would not have stood on ceremony, th is never would have happened. This is another important lesson for us. How often do fights come about, because people think that they weren’t invited to a party ? Invitations get lost in the mail, and people do forget. But if you are really a friend, and you think you should be at the br is , or at whatever event it is, go anyway. A good friend goes anyway and does not stand on ceremony. And if you got the invite instead of your wife, or vice versa … you’re a couple! How many invites do they have to send? How many text messages do they have to make? Don’t stand on ceremony . T hat is the lesson of Kamsa and Bar Kamsa. Have a wonderful day.
Many people learn the Gemara in Masechet Gittin on Tisha BAv, ( 57A) which tells the story of Kamsa and Bar Kamsa, and ends with the following statement: “ Come and see how great is the power of shame, for the Holy One assisted Bar Kamsa in his plot to take revenge for the shame to which he had been subj ected . And Hashem destroyed His house, the Bet Hamikdash, and burned His sanctuary.” In the end, if not for the fact that Hashem , so to say , caused the hachamim to make a mistake, in allowing Bar Kamsa to continue with his plot , they could have stopped him . They could have ac cepted the blemished offering, and the plot could have ended. So why did it happen? Because Hashem allowed it to happen. And why did Hashem allow to happen? Because Bar Kamsa was shamed and embarrassed and thrown out of the party. Although what he ended up doing was a horrific thing (tattling to the Romans and causing the Bet Hamikdash to be destroyed with his horrible plot ) God allowed it to happen , because Bar Kamsa was shamed. Rav Leib Chasman uses this story to teach us an u nbelievable concept on the extent of our obligations to treat others with respect and avoid embarrassing them. The host , who thr ew out Bar Kamsa, seemingly acted properly , as from Bar Kamsa’s subsequent behavior , we can see what kind of fellow he was. B ecause of personal insult , he was willing to slander the entire Jewish people to the Caesar , and engage in an elaborate scheme to manipulate him into attacking them ! He was clearly a petty and cruel man , who cared more about his own pride than the welfare of the entire Jewish people. Certainly, you would not wish to host such a guest , and would feel entitled to treat him with disdain, And yet the Gemara says on this, “ Great is the power of shame.“ We are talking about a lowlife fellow, and yet, even for him- God cares about his dignity. We aren’t talking about somebody who gets up and says something negative about the Torah. There are rules and regulations about when we protest and when we don’t. But in this story, this man came to a party . He didn’t do anything wrong at the party. He was just a bum that showed up at a party, and he had no r ight to be embarrassed or shamed. This is an important lesson for us. Sometimes we take the law into our own hands and embarrass and shame people when they are not allowed to be embarrassed ashamed. I remember many years ago when I was in yeshiva, there was a fellow in a different yeshiva who was taking money out of people ’s pockets in the coat room. Obviously, he was a poor fellow who did not have money. He was not a hardened criminal. Somebody once saw him taking money out of a pocket, put him in a headlock, and called the police. When word got to the Ro sh Yeshiva, he said that they had no right to do that. “The boy may be a thief but you c an not embarrass him publicly like that. You had no right to put him in a headlock or anything like that. T here are rules and regulations about how we treat thieves , and who is supposed to be embarrassed, and when. It’s an important lesson, and it’s actually the lesson of the Churban, of Tisha B’Av, that we just experienced. We should strengthen ourselves and be careful, and realize the power of shame. Have a wonderful day.
In his Sefer Yarot Devash (section 1, derush 10), Rabbi Yonatan Eybeschutz talks about Sinat Hinam. He asks , “ How can we have S inat Hinam? We see that the Jewish people have so many Hessed organi z ations ( and this is going back 300 years), and th ose are just for monetary issues. If somebody’s life is in danger, people get very involved. When people are sick , others visit . P eople get up in the middle the night to help a woman in childbirth . L ook at how wonderful the Jewish people are. This is our pride against the nation of the world. Everyone knows how special the Jewish people are there are so many great organizations. Worldwide. For every possible need. Medical advice, financial advice, whatever they need, they’re there is an organization for it. So how can we say that there is S inat Hina m ? That’s his first question. His second question is , Why does the Gemara say that in the second Bet Hamikdash everything was great and it was just Sinat Hinam? There were Sedukim and Bitosim, heretics and people who went off into Christianity. The re were all sorts of things going on. It says that every year another Kohen Gadol died because they were non-believers . And the position of Kohen Gadol was raffled off . So how can it be that everything was fine? He answers that , Of course , we love each other . But the main love that we have is Ahavat HaGuf/love of the body. If somebody’s body is in trouble, we are there to save him , but what about Ahavat HaNefesh/ Lov ing their soul, which is the main thing . We don’t have as much of that . He gives the following examples, which are about 390 years old: If someone sees his friend talking in Shul when you aren’t allowed to talk, you don’t say anything. If you see someone being lightheaded with people of the opposite gender, you don’t say anything. If someone is using improper language, or L ashon Hara , we don’t say anything. Is that called loving your friend? You se e your friend drowning and you don’t say anything? That was the Sinat Hinam that they had during the second Bet Hamikdash . And that’s where the Sedukim and Bitosim came from. If people would have loved each other at the beginning, and when they saw the beginnings of people going off they would have said some thing, it never would have happened. But we just sat by and watched as people deteriorated , so when the Gemara says Sinat Hinam, that means that that was the source of the problem. His words are, “ B ecause they were quiet over the sinners , that’s what caused everything to happen.“ Sinat Hinam was the root of the rebellion, and then everything went downhill afterwards. And if not for the Sinat Hinam and had they given proper re buke , they would have st opped t he people. This doesn’t mean that everybody has to go around scream ing at each other. The first point is that we don’t have to do anything except look into our own hearts and see whether we really care for other people. When we see someone else doing something wrong, we have to care about it. People are very good at screaming and yelling but do they care about the person? D o they look at the person and say, “ This person wasn’t trained, he’s a good person but he doesn’t know . Nobody told him. Nobody taught him. He didn’t get the right opportunity. “ Do I care for him? Do I look at him like he’s drowning and want to save him? Do I have the same concern for someone that’s sinning as when I see somebody with a disease ? When you see that someone is sick, you don’t come with a hatchet, you come with compassion. We have to look at people that are si nning with compassion . We have to feel bad for them and ask what we can do , and how we can he lp them. I f it comes comes from that , people will listen. People don’t listen because they don’t see that the other person cares . And that is the Sinat Hinam th at brought about the destruction of the second Bet Hamikdash. The first thing that we have to do is care - really care. Then we can start worrying about how . But step number one is, Do you care? Do you care about the spiritual situation of your fellow man? We don’t see spirituality - we see that the person is in pain and we want to help them. When we see no food on the table , we want to help them . But when we see no religion on the table, that should hurt us just as much. But it can’t come as an attack. That’s the problem . We can’t say, “ Oh look at that horrible thing that that guy is doing!“ No. It has to come out of concern and love. That is why when it talks about, “ D on’t hate your friend ,“ the next words are, “ Rebuke him,“ because it is supposed to be coming out of love. Have a wonderful day, a Shabbat Shalom and a meaningful Tisha b’Av.
This week’s Parasha, Devarim, talks about the different parts of Eretz Yisrael, and Hashem says,”Do not pain Moav; don’t get into a fight with them, Because you aren’t inheriting any thing from Moav, it’s an inheritance for Bnei Lot.” The children of Lot (namely Amon and Moav) will inherit part of the land. Rashi explains that Abraham Avinu was given ten lands, as stated in Bereshit. Seven of them went to Bnei Yisrael, but Keni, Knizi and Kadmoni would go to Amon, Moav and Seir. Amon and Moav came from Lot. Seir is Esav. Lot’s children get two, and Esav gets one. That is the breakdown of the ten lands. Why did Lot merit those two? Because he was quiet when Avraham Avinu was going into Mitzrayim. When Avraham said that Sara was his sister, Lot was quiet about it, and because he was quiet, he got upgraded like a son, and got a portion from Avraham Avinu. The Chafetz Chaim (in his Maamar Kavod Shamayim) says that we see a lesson from Lot- Lot merited so much because he was quiet. He says that a person can merit a lot if he’s quiet in an argument, or if someone insults him and he controls himself and doesn’t respond. There is a Gemara in Chulin (89a) on a pasuk in Iyov ( 26,7) where it says that, תֹּ֥לֶה אֶ֝֗רֶץ עַל־בְּלִי־מָֽה God hangs the world on B’li Ma/nothing. This can also be read as, the world is hanging on Bol’em- someone that muzzles his mouth in a time for argument. Middah for Middah, it works out that when a person has a lot of sins, there are prosecutors that want to talk, but when the person does not respond, those prosecutors can’t talk either. That’s why the Chafetz Chaim used Lot as an example. Lot was not the best of people. Rashi says that he distance himself from God. But because he was quiet, he got such a high level. How much more so will come to a Jewish person, who, in a time of argument, controls himself and does not respond. This is an incentive to us, to hold ourselves back, because we only gain from not responding. Have a wonderful day. Just like there are ten lands, God has ten Sefirot. Seven of them are middot that represent the seven shepherds- Avraham, Yitzhak, Yaakov, Moshe, Aharon, Yosef and David. And three of them are in our minds- Binah, Chochma, and Daat. Those are the three parts of wisdom. It says that in the future we will control all ten of these traits, and we’ll have the ten lands. Currently, we only got seven out of ten, which corresponds to the seven shepherds)
Today we will quote a thought from the Rabbi of Ponovezh, Rav Yosef Shlomo Kahaneman, from the sefer on his life ( vol 3, page 102). The Rosh, a Rishon , wrote a musar sefer called Orchot Chayim/Ways of Life, with various one-liners, which the rabbis spend a lot of time understanding. One of the lines he wrote is, “ Don’t speak between Netilat Yadayim and Hamotzi, and greet every person.” Seemingly, these two statements are unrelated. One is a law about not talking between Netilat Yadayim and Hamotzi , while the other is just that a person should always be friendly. What’s the connection? He explains that the Tur quotes from the Rishonim that halachically, one really can talk between Netilat Yadayim and Hamotzi , but it’s a Midat Hasidut/a piousness not to. There are certain times that you are allowed to talk- for example, to ask for the salt. It’s not so severe, although the Halacha says you shouldn’t. But then the Tur adds, “ When my father, the Rosh, was the Baal Habayit and washed Netilat Yadayim with many people, he would wash last.” Why? One explanation was so that there would be less of an interruption between his washing and making Hamotzi . But what about everyone else? Only he cared? Would he grab the Mitzvah to wash last? The Ponovezher Rav explains the Rosh’s quandary- on one hand, he wanted to wash Netilat Yadayim and not talk afterwards, because that was the right thing to do. On the other hand, he had guests over and wanted to talk to them and see if they needed anything. So the Rosh worked out a solution- he’d wash last. That way, he could take care of every one’s needs, and make sure they were seated at the table. Then, he wouldn’t have that much to do between Netilat Yadayim and Hamotzi . He could keep the added chumra but still care for other people. But what happen ed if the B aal HaBayit wash ed last , and then a guest walked in? Would he start saying, “ Hmm, hmm, hmm,” and not answer his guest ? In that case, the Rosh is giving us a disclaimer . That is why, after he says the law of not speaking in between Netilat Yadayim and Hamotzi , he adds the rule “ And say hello to every person. “ Why? To tell us that sometimes we have to break that rule. If someone is in need, you can talk after N etilat Yadayim . ( This is not the venue for a Halach ik ruling , but rather, we are looking at this f rom a Mussar perspective. Rabbi Yaakov Hillel once complained to me that he was visiting someone in a hotel lobby. The fellow was doing Shnayim Mikrah , and when Rabbi Hillel walked over, the man said, “ Hmm hmm hmm. ” Rabbi Hillel said that is not Derech Eretz . Of course, it’s a chumra not to talk during Shnayim Mikrah. But if someone comes over to you, you can pause and say hello. Even in halacha , there are times in Keriat Shema that you can technically speak to someone, to say hello (we might not do this today because people aren’t as concerned) out of respect for someone. It’s not simple to overstate our stringencies between man and God, and trample on the Ben Adam L’Chavero. Have a wonderful day.
One of the great Gedolim of yesteryear was Rav Chaim Hizkiyahu Medina. He was originally from T urkey and moved to Hebron. He wrote a famous encyclopedic work called the Sdei Chemed . He originally lived in a wealthy area of Istanbul , and other places, and his many congregants and friends committed to support him in his move to Eretz Yisrael with large sums of money , so that he w ould be able to live very comfortably . However, when he got to Eretz Yis rael , he decided that he would rather live more simply than the comfortable way that his supporters had planned for him, and he figured out that he could survive on much less than the money that his supporters had promised him. Not wishing to insult anybody , however, he wrote a letter to them explaining that he did not need their mone y, but that he was concerned about a related matter: His custom was to give ma’aser from the money that he received from his salary . So if they committed to pay him $100,000, $ 10,000 of that would go to poor people. There is a term in the Gemara ( Masechet Megila 28a) Vatran B’Memoni Hayiti/ I was easygoing with my money. The Rabbi wanted to be easy going with his money, but not with other people’s. How could he be mevater on himself and pass on other people’s money? The poor people would lose out if he took less money from his supporters. In the letter, he explained that although halachically it was not a problem, nonetheless , he did not want to cause a loss to the poor . So he asked everybody to give 10% of what they had originally committed , and he wo uld distribute that money to the poor . In that way , there would be no problem of the poor people losing out , while he was giving in on his money. He had another question about when people left money in their will s to him. Did he have to fulfill the terms of th ose wills and accept that money? In the end , he decided not to take that money, but he would pray, and do things for t he elevation of their neshamot, so that they would not lose out on supporting the rabbi. This is a tremendous on two levels - F irstly , because , as it sa ys “ Someone who hates gifts will live. “ And also because, at the same time , he was concerned that his piousness should not cause the poor to lose out. What a wonderful story about , on one hand being m achmir on yourself, but on the other hand , having the sensitivity that no one else should lose out from it. Have a wonderful day .
As we know, everything that the Torah tells us to do is ultimately for our own good. As it says, L’Tov Lach/ for your own good. Giving Sedaka is no different. We know that when a person gives ma’aser, it brings wealth. But someone recently shared a very beautiful thought on an additional benefit of giving ma’aser. When a person has money, he’s never satisfied. As it says, “Yesh Lo Maneh/if he has 100, Rotzeh Matayim/he wants 200.“ This means that if a person is in the acquisition mode, in the “have“ mode, it’s never enough. As it says about Esav, “Yesh Li Rav/I have a lot.“ The Chafetz Chaim famously explains that this means that he has a lot, but there’s always room for more- he’s never satiated. And actually, the more you have, the more you are missing. If you have 100 you want 200, if you have 200 you want 400. But when a person gives Sedaka, he’s training himself not to have. It puts him in the giving mode rather than the taking mode. And more than that, he now realizes that it is not his. It’s no longer Yesh Lo Maneh, because its not his money. He’s not in the acquisition mode. The problem of Yesh Lo Maneh is that you think it’s yours, because you think you acquired it. But when a person is in the giving Sedaka mode, they realize it is not theirs. The money was given to them as a deposit, as the Hovot Halevavot tells us, to spend as God said to. The Rambam says that the more you do, the more it impacts you. So when giving Sedaka, it brings you to realize that it is not yours, and it takes you out of the “having” mode. You are now actually able to spend more money on yourself, and enjoy what you have, because you’re not in the “having” mode. You are in the giving mode. When you have 100, you want 200, but when you give 100 you actually have 100, because the more that you are in the giving mode as opposed to the having mode, the more you actually have. It’s counterintuitive that the giving actually causes you to have, because you are no longer in the having mode. And you can actually enjoy yourself more this way. You can enjoy your car! The giving actually causes you to have. This is one of the wonders of Sedaka. You will actually enjoy your own things more, because now you really have. When you think you have, you don’t have, but when you realize that it’s yours to give away, then you do have. I heard this concept from somebody who actually lived this concept and gave it over with enthusiasm. I’m trying to explain it intellectually, secondhand. It makes sense, and it is rooted in the words of our rabbis. Yesh Lo Maneh- The Panim Yafot gives this explanation- When you realize that it is not yours, that’s when you really have it. Have a wonderful day.
We have to contemplate the great love that God has for the Jewish people, and that can possibly arou se our love towards the Jewish people . The Midrash says in Vayikra Raba ( 24, 8) on the pasuk V’Hitkadashtem, VHayitem Kedoshim Be holy and you’ll be holy- There are two words of Kedusha- be holy , and become holy The commentaries explain that it’s compared to people of a certain country, who make three crowns for their king. The king put s one crown on his own head, and he put s two crowns on his son ’s head, because he loves his son so much. So to o with God and the Jewish people. Every day , the angel s say Kadosh, kadosh kadosh… What does God do ? He puts one on His head, and two on the head of the Jewish people. That’s why this pasuk has 2 words of Kedusha, because God gives the Jewish people a double dose of the three crowns. God gets one of the three Kadosh, and He g ives two to His beloved children. In the words of the Midrash Tehilim, Moshe Rabbenu says in Devarim (7,6) כִּ֣י עַ֤ם קָדוֹשׁ֙ אַתָּ֔ה לַיהֹוָ֖ה אֱלֹהֶ֑יךָ בְּךָ֞ בָּחַ֣ר ׀ Your holy nation, to Hashem your God,God chose you – It says you in singular, not plural. One Jewish person is more dear to God than all the nations of the world. And so says Yeshaya HaNavi (40,17) כׇּל־הַגּוֹיִ֖ם כְּאַ֣יִן נֶגְדּ֑וֹ מֵאֶ֥פֶס וָתֹ֖הוּ נֶחְשְׁבוּ־לֽוֹ All the goyim are like nothing in front of Him, to emptiness and nothing they are considered to Him. We cannot fathom Hashem’s love for the Jewish people. Therefore, just like one could look at a person and say, I might not love him , but he has a mother that loves him … This is true about every Jewish person. But it’s not just that he has a mother that loves him, he has a G od in heaven that loves him . In case you’re thinking of someone saying, “ M aybe not that guy,” the Chafetz Chaim writes in his Sefer Ahavat Yis rael (chapter 4), “ The regular Jew b elieves in the 13 principles of faith, and therefore he is part of the club. He is loved by God. He is such Hashem’s child . Therefore, how could I possibly hate another Jew if God loves him ? Hashem w ould be upset at me for that .” He says that it’s the nature of every father to love his child tremendously. He puts all his effort into his children. If he finds that someone dislikes his son, he has tremendous complaints about the person. So to o, with God and the Jewish people. Imagine if you had somebody that was upset at you, angry at you, yelled at you. You wouldn’t sleep well at night. And if that father is a person, then surely you know that God is upset with you. And how much more so should you be careful to stay away from that. That is what happens, has v’shalom, when you dis like a Jewish person. That is why we have to work on loving our fellow man .
It’s not enough just to speak about loving your friends . There are exercises and tactics we can do to arouse our love for our fellow , that are brought down in the sefarim : One such tactic is to love every Jewish person , because the world was created for them. The midrash says this in many places . In Vayikrah Raba, 36, 4-it says, The Heavens and the earth were created in the merit of the Jewish people , as it says, Bereshit Bara Elokim/God created the world. The word reshit refers to the Jewish people , so the pasuk can be read as, “ Because of the Jewish people, God created the world.” That means the world was created for them. As we say, “ Bishvili Nivrah HaOlam/ The world was created for me.” Who is the me ? The Midrash Hagadol says in Shemot (28, 1 ) that the Egyptian s originally said that the world was created for them , a s did Bavel and Kush . But when Hashem revealed H imself in Mitzrayim and Har Sinai, everyone realized the world was there for the Jews. Thus, every Jewish person must say, about themselves and their fellow Jew, “ God created the world for him. God loves him.” And if the world was created for him, he is an important person. We can’t imagine the power of any single Jew. We don’t know what one Jew can do. This is a reason to love everybody, regardless of whether he rubs us the right or wrong way. Another strategy is to realize that all Jewish people have one F ather in heaven, God . As the pasuk says, “ We all have one F ather.” God is the F ather of all of us. R av Chaim Vital, in his Sefer Sha a r e K e d u sha (section 2, 4 th gate), says,”All the Jewish souls are connected to God. And they are necessary for God. That is how God glorifies Himself.” So how can you hate this Jewish person, that God needs, that God gets glorified through?“ Rabbi Pinhas MiPolezhak, a student of the Gaon of Vilna says that the pasuk says “ Don’t despise someone from Edom , because he is your brother. ” Of course , Es av is not our brother, but Yaakov and Esav were brother s, so we have a certain brotherly brother love for him. And if that’s the way I have to feel towards Esav, ( because he is my brother ) , surely I have to love my real Jewish brother who is the same religion as me ( Imagine how many righteous people c an come out of him) . So we have to love him , and show him our love. This applies to every Jew, even somebody that doesn’t look like he is on the path. With a little bit of work, he can get there. The Sefer Ruach Hachaim says , Every Jewish person has, within them , the powers of Abraham Avinu. It might be dormant, but we see that people can change on a dime. They turn around and become better people. T o recap, we discussed two tactics to increase our love for the Jewish people : 1- The world was created for the Jewish people 2- We all have one F ather in heaven, and therefore we must show love to each other.
As we’ve mentioned in the past, there are certain Mitzvot and Averot that seem to get extra focus. For example, there are people that are very from Torah, but they will not eat Hazir/pork. It’s a negative commandment like any other , but even if they might, heaven forbid, shave with a razor , they will not eat pork. There is no explanation for this mindset. Some people are more careful with Mezuzah, Lulav, Etrog and Tefilin, while not being as careful with dipping their dishes. Although , as it says, we don’t know the value of Mitzvot, f or some reason , certain Mitzvot got luck ier, so to say . Rav Yisrael Salantar used to speak about the fact that p eople find it easy to speak Lashon Hara , but they won’t eat unkosher. T he se are both si ns of the mouth, but that is just the way it is. The Chafetz Chaim, in his Sefer Ahavat Yisrael (chapter 4)graphically describes how, if we really paid attention, we’d be more careful with Ahavat Yisrael and staying away from Sinat Hinam. He says that every part of our bodies have a certain function. Our mouths are there to put food into our bodies, our teeth are there to chew, our ears are there to hear, our tongu es are there to speak, and our heart s are there to think. If you saw your friend chewing unkosher food (like a gelatin-based gum) all day, morning to night , after a while, yo u’d say it is really disgusting. As the pasuk says, “ D on’t become contaminated with these things.” This man is actively contaminating himself. You would get upset by it . So too, when a person hates his friend, he has to realize that our hearts were created to think pure and holy thoughts. If a person is thinking negatively about his friend, and h as hatred to ward his friend, that is also putting a sin into an organ where it is not supposed to be. He says that it is no different than someone chewing un kosher food, or thinking improper thoughts all day. Just like eating unkosher food will contaminate your mouth, h ating your fellow man will contaminate your heart. If a person thinks about that, he’ll realize how serious Sinat Hinam is. These are the words of the Chafetz Chaim. Have a wonderful day.
The Sefer Yesod V’Shoresh HaAvoda ( first gate, chapter 8) explains why Ahavat Yisrae l is so important. He says , “ It is well-known among human beings that if a person is suffering, and sees that other people feel bad with him, there a certain amount of comfort in that. But if he sees that no one cares about him , and he ’s just being forgotten, then his pain is even deeper . ” He qu otes a pas uk from Shemuel א (22,8) where Shaul Hamelech says, וְאֵין־חֹלֶ֥ה מִכֶּ֛ם עָלַ֖י No one is getting sick over me Nobody cares what is going on with me. The Sefer continues, It’s well known that God feels bad when a person is in pain , as it says, “ W hen a person is in pain , God H imself says, “ My head hurts, My arm hurts ,” and that is the way God feels over a wicked person; so surely when a righteous person suffers. If that’s the case, when a person is feeling bad because his friend is in pain ( which is VeAhavta LeReecha Kamocha/ loving your friend like you love yourself ), he is removing part of God‘s pain. God is that F ather who is suffering , because His child is suffering. And so when I also feel bad, I make it a little easier, so to say, for God, because someone else is feeling His pain - that gives Hashem a good feeling. This works for the positive as well. W hen a person has a new child or other success in his life, and others are happy, as if that child or success w ere theirs , they too are fulfilling VeAhavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. They are happ y because God is happy that there are more children being born and more Mitzvot being done . When we are happy for our friend s’ happiness, we are giving Hashem th at feeling that we are also happy with His happiness. In his words, “ With this happiness over your friend ’s good fortune, you are serving God a great and unbelievable service, to no end. ” And the opposite is true as well. This is a fascinating concept. When we are happy with our friends happiness, and when we are in pain when he is in pain, we are actually giving a good feeling to Hashem, and that is the ultimate purpose that we are here for - To give our C reator a good feeling. That is what happens when He sees that we are feeling for our fellow man, when we are feeling God’s pain , when our fellow man is not in the right place. Have a wonderful day.
Now that we are in the three weeks, it’s important to talk about the Churban/ Destruction of the Bet Hamikdash. Regarding the pasuk in Tehilim 119, שִׂבַּ֣רְתִּי לִישׁוּעָתְךָ֣ ה ׳ וּֽמִצְוֺתֶ֥יךָ עָשִֽׂיתִי I hoped for your salvation, God, And I fulfilled your Mitzvot, the Chida, in his Sefer Yosef Tehilot , a commentary on Tehilim, explains that we have a responsibility to look forward to Hashem’s salvation (called Sipita LeYeshua- Did we look forward to God’s salvation?). But we also have to contemplate the sins that prevent God’s redemption. We have to stop , and stay away from those sins, b ecause if a person is looking forward to God‘s salvation, but actually interfering with it, it’s really a worthless hope . “ Sibarti LeYeshuatecha/ I am looking forward to your salvation, “ i s not just looking forward , but also וּֽמִצְוֺתֶ֥יךָ עָשִֽׂיתִי fulfilling the Mitzvot , as the second half of the pasuk indicates . And the Chida adds that fulfilling the Mitzvot means staying away from the s ins that interfere with the rebuilding of the Bet Hamikdash . In another Sefer, Devarim Ahadim, the Chida ( in the 6 th derasha) says that we feel bad about the churban , which means not having weddings during the three weeks, refraining from meat and wine during the nine days, as well as other customs that we follow to mourn for the Bet Hamikdash . But, he says , at the same time, we continue to have Sinat Hinam/baseless hatred , which is the main sin that we are discussing when we talk about the Churban . We aren’t unified. This is compared to someone who is planting a tree with one hand, and taking an ax with the other to cut it down.. Inherently, that is what we do every single day . In his words, “ How can a man be righteous with good deeds, as long as the contamination is still with us - which is Sinat Hinam.” So it’s not enough to go through the three weeks and just feel bad, mourn, look forward, and yearn. We also have to work on correcting the sin that is the cause of the churban , Sinat Hinam . In essence, the rabbi s say that this is the question they will ask us after 120 years , when they ask, “ Did you look forward to the salvation? “ It seems to be a simple question. Of course we look forward to it. But in that question lies the deeper question of whether you were careful to stay away from the s ins that caused the destruction. That is the true Sipita Leyeshua/ looking forward to the salvation. And that is not so simple. B’Ezrat Hashem , we will be able to answer yes , b y working on Ahavat Yisrael. Have a wonderful day.
Yesterday we discussed the concept from the Brisker Rav , about not saying that you can’t . Rather , saying that you don’t want to. In other words, if a person really wants to do some thing on someone else’s behalf, they can. The following story needs a preface- It took place in Communist Russia, where the justice system was not the most fair, to say the least. People were sent to Siberia for the smallest of charges. In such cases , one is permitted to take extreme measures , even if doing so may go against the law of the land. If the law of the land is corrupt, one is allowed to to take measures to save people, even in a dishonest way. This obviously does not apply to the democratic world of justice, peace and liberty for all that we live in today , where we must follow all the laws of the government. And now for the story: There was a man from the town of Brisk (where the Brisker Rav was the R abbi) with a large family. He was accused of a minor tax evasion charge, and had he been tried for that crime, he could have been sent to Siberia. The Brisker Rav knew that no successful lawyer would take on the case , because representing somebody who went against the country was, in itself, a crime. No lawyer would subject himself by representing this client. So the Brisker arrive called in one of the top lawyers and told him that it was he himself, the Brisker Rav, who was had committed the tax evasion , The lawyer turn ed white , but as much as he tried, he could not figure out a way avoid the sentence to Siberia . The only thing t he lawyer was able to come up with was t hat he would endanger himself, go into the court, and remove the file from the court system and “lose it .” That was the only way out that the lawyer could think of, to help th with Brisker Rav avoid his sentence. Obviously, there was a big danger in this plan . but he was willing to do it in order to save the R abbi from Siberia. It was only after the whole plan was worked out that the Brisker Rav revealed that in actuality, it wasn’t he that was in trouble , but another man- a simple man that the lawyer did not kno w and felt no responsibility toward. However, once the lawyer admitted that there was a way that it could be done, the Bris ker Ra v put him into the position, of “ D on’t say that you can’t , say that you don’t want to.” The Brisker Rav gave the lawyer a guarantee that, “ P eople that are on a mitzvah mission will not be hurt. “ After much convincing, the lawyer w ent ahead with the plan and save d the man from being sent to Siberia. Again, we do not apply these means to a democratic country , but we can take from this story the concept that sometimes there are things that we can do. Rav Ades once gave the mashal that people can raise $100,000 for a child who has a need, lo Alenu, but they can’t do it for another cause. Which means that obviously they can do it for somebody else, but they don’t have the same want to do it for somebody else. This is a tremendous eye-opener on the concept of can I, or do I really not want to. Have a wonderful day.
Today we have another lesson from the great Rabbi of Brisk, from volume 4 of his book (page 219): A young man was imprisoned, not because he committed a crime but due to a technicality- he did not fill out a certain form that was required of him. It was Erev Kippur, and when the Brisker Rav found out about it, he sent a message to someone who could get him out before Kippur. The man said that he couldn’t do anything at that hour on Erev Kippur. The Brisker Rav replied, “Don’t tell me you can’t . Tell me you don’t want to.” The man started giving excuses, and again the Brisker Rav said the same thing, “ Don’t tell me you can’t. Tell me you don’t want to.” Eventually, the man got the young man out before Yom Kippur, and he he came back to the Brisker Rav, literally moments before Yom Kippur, to notify him of the news. The Brisker Rav then said, “ Now I will tell you my source for the concept of when a person says ‘I can’t,’ it really means, ‘I don’t want to.’ The Gemara in Baba Matzia (86b) talks about the third day of Avraham Avinu’s Brit Milah, when Hashem made it extremely hot in order not to trouble Avraham Avinu with guests. Avraham sent Eliezer out to look for guests, but he didn’t find any. When he came back and said he couldn’t find any, Avraham said, “ I don’t believe you, There is no trust in slaves.” Avraham Avinu then went out on his own, and Hashem sent the three angels. The Brisker Rav questions how this could be said about Eliezer, who was considered Avraham’s trusted servant- How could it be that there was no loyalty or trust? The answer, he says, is that Eliezer went out, searched and didn’t find. Avraham Avinu then said, “ Don’t say that there are no people. Say you don’t want to bring people (in order not to trouble me).” Of course, in the end, there were people. Avraham Avinu wanted, and therefore he found. The one who told this story is Rav Meir Tzvi Bergman, the son-in-law of Rav Shach. He added an additional point, based on the Rama M’Pano, a great mekubal. The pasuk says, Poteach Et Yadecha Umasbia Bchol Chai Ratzon…” God opens up his hands and gives everyone what they want .” But the obvious question is, does God really give everyone what they want? Not everyone gets what they want. The Rama M’Pano said that Ratzon doesn’t mean that God gives what you want, rather, it refers to what God wants. God wants to give. What causes the whole word to get is God’s will, which is to benefit others. God’s will is to do good for creation. That’s why He created the world. He continues and says that we, too, have to follow the ways of God. On God it says, “ God is merciful, you have to be merciful ,” and just like God has an absolute will to do good to others, and nothing stops God from that, so too, a person has to be like that. That was Abraham Avinu’s level of Hessed. His Hessed was that of, “ Don’t say you can’t , say you don’t want .” There is a pasuk in Shir Hashirim ( perek ד pasuk ט ) where it says, לִבַּבְתִּ֙נִי֙ (באחד) [בְּאַחַ֣ת] מֵעֵינַ֔יִךְ בְּאַחַ֥ד עֲנָ֖ק מִצַּוְּרֹנָֽיִךְ׃ You have pulled on my heart strings, with one of your eyes, and with the Anak around your neck. Rash says that Anak refers to one of the giants, Avraham. He was special amongst our Avot. Why was Avraham called a giant ? Rashi refers us to a pasuk in Yehoshua (14,15) where it refers to Hebron as the place where הָאָדָ֧ם הַגָּד֛וֹל בָּעֲנָקִ֖ים The great man amongst the giants lived. Simply, this refers to the giants, but the Midrash says (and Rashi in Yehoshua quotes it as well) that this giant amongst men refers to Avraham Avinu. Why was he a Gadol ? Because a Gadol is someone who, as Rav Yerucham Levovitz says, gives to those who are small. A great man is a man who takes care of smaller people. Avraham Avinu was a giant of a man, possibly because Avraham Avinu had an absolute Ratzon, to the level of God ( as much as we can say that) in the area of Hessed. The ultimate Hessed comes from the ultimate Ratzon. That’s why the story of Abraham Avinu’s Hessed is the story that shows us his Ratzon. It was not there were no guests, it was that Eliezer didn’t want there to be guests. Do say you can’t, say you don’t want. Have a wonderful day.
The Brisker Rav was known for his great exactness when it came to Mitzvot, such as making matzot or picking a lulav and etrog. He was equally careful to avoid Averot as well. And he was extremely careful with the l aws of Terumot and Ma’asrot in Israel. Fruit and vegetables grown and Israel need to be tithed . There are various hashgachot/ supervising agencies that take care of that, but the Brisker Rav ( and many others ) were careful to retithe in their own homes , because they felt that mistakes could arise, and things could go wrong with anything done in a mass fashion. (They are even great Rabbi s who retithe the soda in Israel , because it has fruit juice in it. When we were in Israel visiting Rav Binyamin Finkel , known as Binyamin Hasadik, he gave us soda to drink . We noticed that there was a letter Mem on it , and when we ask ed about it, they told us it stood for Ma’aser because he had retithed the bottle . He was careful to say that it was really kosher and this was just an added humra/stringency ) If you have 100 apples, you could take one from the 100 as teruma , and 10 apples from the 100 is maaser. But there is a law that you can’t take from one crop on another, or different fruits from different trees or batches- just like when you’re taking challah , you have to know which batch it is from. The Brisker Rav, in his chumrot , was always concerned that if there were 100 apples, they might have come from different fields or different crops. So he would tithe each fruit separately. He would cut each and every apple , and although it was a little bit more difficult this way, he had to take care of it properly. It happen ed once that a group of about 30 orphans came to visit his home. They were surviv ors from World War II and learning in a Mossad in Sanhedria. The Rav wanted to serve them oranges , but we said , he would always cut out a piece from each fruit. He was worried that it might not be the proper respect for these orphans to get an orange with a cut in it. So he came up with an idea - He would cut off the top of each orange and put a sugar cube in each one. In that way, it would look like a decorative item, a pretty orange with a sugar cube on top! That is how far he went in his thinking, to make sure that there w ouldn’t be even the slightest insult to an orphan, but at the same time keep ing the Hala cha . This ingenious idea that he came up with show ed the level of his sensitivity , which is mind boggling. Have a wonderful day.
We continue to share lessons from the Brisker Rav’s Ben Adam L’Havero, specifically in dealing with yatomim and almanot/orphans and widows. When the Brisker Rav was living in Yerushalayim, a widow whose husband had been the Rav of Alita, a city in Europe, came to see him one afternoon while he was resting. She wanted to ask him a question, but since he had already gone to his room to rest, his students told her to come back later. The Brisker Rav overheard what was going on and left his room to see who had been there. They told him who it was, and he ran out of the house and down the street calling, “ Alita, Rebitzen.. Alita, Rebitzen..” He did this because even though he was resting, if an almana came, he felt he should go running to bring her back. There is an Avot D’Rabi Natan (chapter 38, mishna מא ) that relates to this story, and is really shocking. With the Three Weeks upon us, we know we are supposed to be working on Sinat Hinam/Baseless Hatred, which weighs in like the three cardinal sins. When the great Tanna, Rav Shimon Ben Gamliel, who was a Nasi, and Rav Yishmael, who was the Kohen Gadol, were taken to be killed as part of the Ten Martyrs , Rav Shimon Ben Gamliel told Rav Yishmael Ben Alisha, “ Woe unto us, that we are being killed like people that are Mechalel Shabbat/ Desecrators of Shabbat, Idol worshippers, Adulterers and Murderers ( these are the three cardinal sins, plus Shabbat). And Rav Yishmael told him, “ Can I tell you something…You think this is for nothing? Has it never happen ed that a lady came to ask you a question, or a man came to a nnul a vow, and you were busy - eating or sleeping, so you r Gabbai didn’t let them in? That is enough of a reason.“ Obviously , they were very high-level, but that is what this Kohen Gadol was telling t he Nasi , as to why these things were coming upon them. It is not a simple matter to keep somebody waiting for you. Great people do not have specific office hours or meeting times. Think of R av Chaim Kanievsky , or any Gadol . They don’t have appointments booked six weeks in advance, with 15 minute slots arranged on their calendars. They don’t live that way. There is no calendar. The y are , like the car service, Always A vailable. Have a wonderful day .
Included in Ahavat Yisrael is being especially careful with the downtrodden, specifically a yatom/orphan , and almana/widow. The Brisker Rav was known for his tremendous care in Mitzvot, and he did not differentiate between man to man and man to God. He was extremely careful with th e warning from God, which says, כל אלמנה ויתום לא תענון All widows and orphans should not be pained The rabbis say that the word, “Kol/ all ,“ includes even those that are wealthy and prominent, even if they are seemingly not underprivileged. The Rambam , in Sefer Hamitzvot Lo Taaseh ( 256) says that this means they should not be pained neither with words nor deeds. Rather, speak to them softly, and nicely, and ויתעסק עמם בעסק טוב involve yourself with them in a proper, good way. They should always be happy. ויכוין ההפלגה בזה Do this in an exaggerated way. Someone who limits themselves in this transgresses a negative command… and he goes on to name the punishment that is brought down in the Torah. When the Brisker Rav was escaping Europe, he needed an apartment in Vilna. One of his students found an apartment for him that fit all of his needs, which was owned by a widow. The student prepared a contract with her and specifically asked for certain amenitie s, which he was willing to pay a higher price for. The student then went to the Brisker Rav, explained the arrangements he had made , and told him how had paid extra so that the w idow would have no complaints about anything. The Brisker Rav was agreeable to it all. A week after they moved in , the student came by to check in with the landlord and see how things were going. She complained that the family was using a lot of water. It seemed that they washed Netilat Yadayim a lot. The student didn’t say anything to the Brisker Rav, but he told the children to try and use less water. After a few days went by , he went to check in with the landlord again, and again she was complaining. This time, the Bris ker Rav noticed that she was complaining , and he asked his student what was going on. The student explained that she was complaining that they used too much water. When he heard this, the Brisker Rav said, “Oy! An almanah is complaining?! ” One of his children said, “ But we usin g less water now after your student told us.” The Brisker Rav signaled to his student to leave, and then had a private discussion with his children. The next day, when the student returned, the almana came out to greet him with a big smile and said that everything was great and there were no more problems. The student asked the Brisker Rav what had happen ed. The Rav explained that he took out the Rambam in Hilchot Deot and read it to his children. Once they heard it, they understood. The words of the Rambam were: A person has to be careful with a yatom and almana because their soul is lowly and they are broken, even if they have money… We have the same responsibility , even for the widow or orphan of a king. We have to talk to them softly, with respect, not cause pain to their bodies with extra wor k, or pain to their hearts with strong words. ויחוס על ממונם יותר מממון עצמו You have to be concerned with their money, more than your own money . ” The Brisker Rav said that he explained to his children, “ If it would be like our money, we made a contract and we paid for extra water. That is what the deal was , and she agreed to that. But we have an extra deal, that she did not agree to. That extra deal is that we have to be more careful with her money than we are with our own. ” He told his student that his children then understood, and they were now being more careful. It’s unbelievable to see how a Gadol lived, and how he trained his children, and how important it is to be careful with the feelings of a yatom and almanah . Have a wonderful day.
The Gemara in Ketubot (17a) tells us the following story, said over by Rabbi Zerah: There was a great rabbi, Rav Shemuel bar Rav Yitzhak, who would dance in front of a Kallah and juggle hadasim, and Rabbi Zerah said, “You’re embarrassing us.” Rashi explains that here was a big rabbi, juggling hadasim, and acting light-headedly, which was not a befitting way for a rabbi to act. But when this rabbi passed away, there was a pillar of fire separating him from everyone else. It says that this pillar of fire only came to the greatest man of the generation. On this, Rabbi Zerah said, אהנייה ליה שוטיתיה לסבא ואמרי לה שטותיה לסבא ואמרי לה שיטתיה לסבא The hadas helped him (using the word shutita for hadasim), others say he acted like a fool (pronouncing the word as shtuteh), and others say he stuck to his shita (pronouncing the word as shitateh). There’s a question of exactly what the term was- whether it was his hadas that helped him, the fact that he acted silly that helped him, or whether he stuck to his opinion and that’s what helped him. It’s all true, but the main point is that he danced at the wedding in a way that would be embarrassing to himself. Tosafot asks how they know the pillar of fire came because of that, and answers that the pillar of fire looked like a hadas, so it was clear that this is what brought him to this great level. But what is the source for such a concept? In truth, a Talmid Hacham is not supposed to lower his dignity. For example, the Halacha tells us that a Talmid Hacham is not even supposed to do certain acts of kindness in public. If there’s a lost object and retrieving it would cause a lack of dignity (such as climbing up a tree to retrieve it) he does not have to do it, because it’s beneath his dignity. So why is this allowed? And where do we find such a precedent that to bring Simcha to a Hatan and Kallah, one has the right to disgrace himself? The Rambam, in Yad Hazaka, on the laws of Succot ( chapter 8, Halacha 15) talks about the simcha of Succot in the Bet Hamikdash. He says that the simcha that one is supposed to have when doing Mitzvot in general, and the love for God who commanded us to serve Him, is great. He says it’s a great service, and whoever holds himself back from that should be punished. And he quotes a pasuk, and says anyone who is arrogant, gives himself respect and doesn’t lower himself is considered חוטא ושוטה Hoteh V’Shoteh/ a sinner and a fool. One might think that the one dancing at the wedding is the fool, but he’s not. It’s the one standing on the side lines. He says that וכל המשפיל עצמו ומקל גופו במקומות אלו הוא הגדול המכובד העובד מאהבה וכן דוד מלך ישראל אמר (שמואל ב' ו') Whoever lowers himself and lightens himself in these areas, he is the true great one, the honorable one that serves God out of love. And the precedent is David Hamelech, where he’s dancing in front of the Aron, and says ונקלותי עוד מזאת והייתי שפל בעיני I will get even lower than this, and be humble in my eyes. ואין הגדולה והכבוד אלא לשמוח לפני ה' There is no greatness or honor like dancing before Hashem. That is greatness. Even though you are seemingly degrading yourself, dancing in front of Hashem is greatness. שנאמר (שמואל ב' ו') והמלך דוד מפזז ומכרכר לפני ה' בריך רחמנא דסייען: As it says, David Hamelech acted in a lightheaded way because he was in front of God. And in front of God, there is no room for any Ga’avah/ arrogance. With this, we can understand the source for the rabbi that danced in front of the Hatan V’Kallah, because one who is dancing in front of a Hatan V’Kallah is bringing the Shechina down. And when one brings the Shechina down, there is no room for personal glory. That is why the rabbi was dancing that way. He seemingly looked like a fool, but he was bringing shalom into their house. And it’s not just for a husband and wife. It’s any peace, between any man and his fellow, where the Shechina comes down. As we said, VeAhavta LeRe’echa Kamocha, Ani Hashem Love your friend like you love yourself, I am Hashem- because God dwells there. A person sometimes has to lower himself or do something beneath his dignity in order to bring peace between people. Even Hashem allows His name to be erased, and if Hashem allows His name to be erased, surely we can allow our names to be erased and lower our dignity, to bring peace to people. Bringing peace to people brings the Shechina. And just like there is no room for honor in front of the Shechina when dancing on Simcha Torah or the like, there is no room for personal kavod when bringing peace between people. Have a wonderful day.
Today we will quote from one of the sefarim of the famous author of the Pele Yoetz, Rav Eliezer Papo, called Orit Elim. He quotes different midrashim, and Gemarot, and he quotes the following Zohar (Helek ב , Parashat Ki Tisa, 190B) Rabbi Abba said all of those Chaveirim, ( which is translated as rabbis-but doesn’t only apply to rabbis) that don’t love each other leave the world early before their time has come, like the students of Rabbi Akiva that died e arly because they didn’t respect each other . This is quite a statement- it’s not like the students of Rabbi Akiva were some strange aberration. The Zohar is saying that it’s a general rule for all Torah scholars that don’t respect or love each other. Then he quotes Rabbi Shimon who said that the Torah scholars that don’t love each other will not go on the right path, because they can’t be successful in their studies or life accomplishments, because the Shechina/God’s presence leaves people that don’t love each other and therefore they don’t have the help from the Shechina to go on the right path. Again, this is not just for Torah scholars. This is for anybody. You need the Shechina to help you go on the right path, and when a person doesn’t get along with somebody else, the Shechina leaves. We know this about a husband and wife- It says that when a husband and wife get along, the Shechina dwells amongst them, and if you take the yud from the word for man, Ish איש and the heh word for lady אשה Isha , it spells Hashem’s name) But the Zohar is saying here that any friends that get along bring the Shechina down. We have learned this in the past, from the Chida- the pasuk says Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha, Ani Hashem - If you love your friends like you love yourself, the Shechina dwells in yo u. And he continues with the positive aspect of this rule- he says the Torah scholars from the time of Rav Shimon Bar Yochai loved each other- with a true love , and therefore, in those times, they were able to learn the secrets of the Zohar in an unbelievable way. This is a tremendous hiddush- The reason why these rabbis reached such high levels was because of their friendship. The Arizal , in his time , also wrote about the importance of friendship when he was revealing his secrets . In order to reach the highest levels, you need God’s help , And you only get God’s help if you are getting along with people. This is an important r ule because we always need God’s help , and we all need the Shechina in our lives. That is all from the Zohar, but the Pele Yoetz adds his own personal touch in his sefer . He says that in order to have this love, you need two similar people who have both perfected their middot. But he says we don’t always see that both people have perfected middot… and he adds something important .. At least if one of them is perfect in his middot, then he can overcome and know how to deal with his friend, according to his friend’s needs, And then they’ll be able to get along. This is an important rule . We have to be proactive. You can blame everything on everybody, but ultimately there is a certain part of your life that you are in control of and if you have the right middot and the right attitude you can deal with whoever it is. Then we can have shalom . At least one side of the equation needs to have good middot. He writes about this concept again in the sefer Orit Elim, when discussing Avot D’Rebi Natan ( chapter 8, mishna 3) He says that it is hard to find a good friend because love can come only with similar people – similar interest, similar styles. It’s hard to get along with people who have different ways. Your middot and d eot/ outlooks have to be similar . But again, he says the other secret for a good friendship is that one can tolerate his friend’s middot and act with him according to his middot. So yes, it is great when both people like to be on time for things, or when two people both like the same style of learning. But you don’t always find that. So you need one person that will say, it’s OK, I’ll go with your way. That is the secret of friendship, the secret of Shechina , and the secret of success. Have a wonderful day .
Everyone knows Napoleon, the great and famous conqueror. He was known to occasionally take advice from great rabbis, about his chances for success on the battlefield. A lot written had been written about this, and a great rabbi, Rabbi David Zunzheim, was even on Napoleon’s court. One evening, the soldiers of the French army arrived in Volozhin, preparing to set up camp. As Volozhin was not a fortified city and could be conquered quite easily, most inhabitants ran away. When the soldiers entered the town , everything was dark. The only light they saw came from the Yeshiva. When they entered, they saw a man in his 70s, with a candle and an open book in front of him. It was none other than Rav Chaim Volozhin. The officer s tried to speak with him, but the rabbi was involved in his learning, and did not speak French. The officer s th en tried in German, and asked the man w here the great Rabbi of th e Yeshiva could be found. They had heard that his name was Chaim , and that he knew hidden secrets and was able to perform miracles. Rav Chaim s aid, “ The man you request is here in the Bet Mi dra sh, but as far as performing miracles, that is not true. ” The officer s then realized that they w ere actually speaking with Ra v Chaim , and told him that Napoleon wanted to speak with him . They brought the R abbi to Napoleon, who asked him , “ You are a smart man. Will you please tell me what you think will happen in this battle that I’m starting ?“ Rav Chaim answered with a parable: A prince was once traveling with four mighty horses of the finest stock. Then , in the midst of a forest, one of the horse s slipped into dangerous quicksand. That horse pulled the other horses with him, and the wagon was tipped over. All the efforts of the prince and his officers, to get the horses out, was futile. A few hours passed , and a farmer came with a wagon drawn by three we ak , sickly horses. They also began to sink into the quicksand, but the farmer began to whip his horses and with all of their strength, they were able to pull out of the quicksand. The prince and his offices were amazed at the farmer ’s success. The prin ce approached the farmer and said, “ I have four mighty thoroughbred horses, and you have three sickly ones , yet yours were able to get out of the quicksand while mine are still there. How do you explain this? ” The farmer said that there was no special secret. The prince ’s horses were fo ur thoroughbreds each taken one a different plac e , one from Russia and one from Germany … the best of every country. When you w hip them, each one tries to go in a different direction and they are unable to unite for a common good. My bony horses are all of one family - a mother and her two sons. When I hit one of them, the others want to help each other. They pull themselves out of the quicksand by working together. “ He told Napoleon that this was similar to the battle he was dealing with. The great Napoleon was like the prince in the story. He had, at his disposal, a great, well-trained army. But they weren’t all of the same blood. The army was made up of troops from Prussia, Austria, Spain, and Italy. Every fact ion want ed to claim victory t o its own credi t. Beside that, each battalion was happy when another was defeated. Th at was not the case regarding the Russian army. Although it was a poor army, it was made up of one nation, fighting to keep its own land, and everyone fe lt the common danger. Thus, they were completely united for the common good. Therefore, R av Chaim told him, there is no doubt about the success of this battle. The victory will go to your enemy. Sure enough, Napoleon suffered a great loss near Moscow and was finally defeated at the river crossing . A lmost all of his soldiers were killed , and Ra v Chaim’s prediction came true. This is a great story of achdut /unity for the Jewish people as well. When we view ourselves as one nation, and not as a multinational factions, then we feel each other‘s pain, and we are able to produce in a much greater way. Additionally , I’m selling Ahavat Yisrael USBs raise money in memory of a young woman that passed away. My goal is to raise a few thousand dollars. If you’d like to buy a USB, you can QuickPay rabbisutton@gmail.com Or send a check to: Rabbi Sutton 1059 East 10 th Street Brooklyn New York 11230 Tizke lemitzvot
I would like to share an interesting concept of Ahavat Yisrael. It doesn’t only mean loving people that you know, as we said when we began this series. You don’t even have to know the person; you have to love any Jewish person, and express your love for them- it’s a positive command. One of the greatest things people can do for someone else is called a Hessed Shel Emet/ a true kindness . Rashi says this is a kindness that you do for the dead, because you aren’t anticipating any reward from that person. The first example of this is when Yaakov asks Yosef to bury him. In Israel, the burial societies are called GaHSha , an acronym for Gemilut Hasadim Shel Emet. The burial society does this kindness without the expectation that that person will bury them someday, unlike other kindnesses- If you go to someone’s wedding, they ’ll come to yours, if you go to their Bar mitzvah they’ll come to yours . But when you bury someone, they cannot bury you. That’s why a kindness that is done for the deceased is called Hessed shel Emet. The Pele Yoetz says that the main kibud av v’em/ honoring parents that a person does is after the parent passes away. Those are his words. In this world, they could survive without the cup of coffee you bring them, and if you give to them, chances are they’ll give you back one day. But when you say a Kaddish , or give Sedaka in their name, nothing is coming back, and that’s where they really need you. That’s Hessed Shel Emet . It’s an interesting concept- the Hessed we do with Metim/the deceased is the Hessed shel Emet. How do we do Hessed with metim ? One way is what the Zohar says, by going to cemeteries.. But many d ifferent things that we do are considered a kindness to the deceased. This week I went to a shiva home, for a young mother of eight children, Mrs Gitty (Wohl) Goldberg a’h. She was 36 years old and was diagnosed with a disease this past January. She had a baby this past Succot, and she struggled with a terminal illness for less than a year before passing away this past week. At the home, they told different stories about this great lady, her tremendous bitachon, and her acts of kindness and purity… a book could be written about her. One thing I heard really hit me. In the times of World War II , R av Aharon Kotler was in America , but many of his old students, from his Yeshiva in Kletsk, were in Siberia. There was no official postal service or UPS, but they found ways to send packages on the black market. T hroughout the war years, Rav Kolter w ould send packages to his students in Siberia. But he had no communication and he never know if the packages got there. However, just in case, he kept on sending the packages. After the war, many of his students that did survive came to him and told him that they had survived on his packages. Before Gitty passed away, she told her family th at story and she told them, “ You see from th is story that you can send people packages , and keep sending them packages , even though you never get a return card or thank you note. Please keep sending me packages.“ That is a powerful line, from a lady who was clear, knew she was dying and knew what is important in the world. She told her family, “ I am not scared of dying, I just feel bad that I’m leaving behind so many sad people.” This is not meant to be a eulogy on this young lady, but to stress this concept, which I heard from Rav Wolbe. A rabbi once came to Rav Wolbe, who had started the Arachim movement. He was a Baal Teshuva and very disturbed. He didn’t know what to do for his parents. Rav Wolbe told him, “ Were you ever in camp ; did your parents ever send you care packages?” The rabbi answered that they had always sent boxes of candy or licorice. So Rav Wolbe explained that it was now his chance to send his parents care packages. “ Every time you do something good for them, you are sending them a care package.” I felt personally connected to this young lady, Gitty . Her sister is married to my brother’s son. And within a few minutes of Gitty’s passing, her sister, my niece, went into labor and a baby girl was born. She named the baby after her sister. One soul left and one soul came in. This had a certain meaning in my family, and I felt wanted to do something for this young lady. When she was sick, we gave out about 1,000 USBs on Bet HaLevi and Bitachon. So I felt it befitting to give out some USBs on Ahavat Yisrael, and in this way, we can do a Hessed shel Emet. Many of the lessons included come from the venue where these lessons you have been receiving were given. If anyone is interested, send a QuickPay to rabbisutton@gmail.com or mail a check to 1059 East 10 th Street Brooklyn NY 11230 I would like to raise a few thousand dollars, so 50 donations of $100 would be great. This is a chance for everyone to do a Hessed shel Emet for someone you never knew, and send a care package to a beautiful soul. We should only hear good things. Have a wonderful day.
Today we will discuss two great stories about a great Rabbi, Rabbi Tzvi Pesach Frank , who was the C hief R abbi of Jerusalem in the 1940s and 50s . Both stories deal with the concept of being Mezakeh et HaRabim, which is the responsibility of an individual to sometimes pass up on his own potential levels of greatness, in order to merit the masses. In the first story, Rabbi Frank called for one of the shochets/slaughterers of Jerusalem , a week or so before Rosh Hashanah, and commanded him, based on the princip le that all Jews are responsible for each other, to go to Paris , France (at that time , there were no slaughter houses in Israel, the meat came from Europe ). Of the s hochets that ha d been in Paris was no longer able to be there , and they needed an immediate replacement , to ensure that they would be kosher meat to the proper standards for the holiday season. The man responded, “ How can I leave Yerushalayim during the month of Elul, during the time of selichot? I have been in Jerusalem my whole life I should go into the secular atmosphere of Paris? My prayers won’t be the same. It’s a gezera that I cannot withstand. Furthermore, this is a Mitzvah that actually comes through a sin, because my mother passed away and my father is alone. He comes to me for the holiday s . Now he will have nowhere to go. Therefore, as important as it is, I am not the person, and it cannot be now. If anything , I can go after the holidays. “ Rabbi Frank answered him, “ The Yetzer Hara gets involved in every Mitzvah , s aying, “ W hy me? Why now? But the Torah says that it’s you, and it’s now , and you have to go. As far as you r concern about where your father will stay for the holiday, he’s invited to be my guest. And as far as your prayers, the Mitzvot, angels and defense attorneys that you will get from saving so many people from possibly not having the highest standard of Kashrut, I guarantee will be a zechut for you to have a great, wonderful year.“ And so it was that the man packed his bags and left not long after that. The s econd story is more relevant to Sephardi c Syrian J ewry, and especially that of Panama. What does R av Tzvi Pesach Frank have to do with Panama nian Jewry ? A group of community Jews from Panama once came to Porat Yosef. They requested a rabbi for their Syrian community, complaining that the y were very we ak in Kashrut an d Shabbat . They decided on choosing Rabbi Sion Levy, who was one of the best boys. He was an orphan, and he was a Gadol B ‘Torah. He was very strong and powerful . and they thought he would be the perfect man. The only problem was, he did not want to go. He said he would rather starve and have no Parnasa then go to Panama, a place where he couldn’t raise his family properly. The community activist s went to the president of yeshiva , Rabbi Ben sion Uziel, to ask him for help in convincing the young man. Rabbi Uziel went to the chief rabbi of Jerusalem, Rabbi Tzvi Pesach Frank, and the chief Rabbi of Israel, Rabbi Herzog, and called them together to his house. He then asked Rabbi Sion Levy to come , and told him, "This is a Bet Din and we are commanding you, with the power of a Bet Din, that you must go to Panama.” And he did. And the rest is history. They have the document he sign ed agreeing to go. Later on in time, many different communities came to Porat Yose f seeking rabbis for their communities . But the rabbis did not want to go , so a special proclamation was written and signed by many Sephardic rabbis ( Rabbi D ayan Rabbi Antebi , Rabbi Attieh, Rabbi Ades, Rabbi Raful, Hacham Ovadia Yosef Hacham Ovadia Hedaya and others). The one Ashkenazi Rabbi that signed was Rabbi Tzvi Pesach Frank. The proclamation said that the rabbis were required to leave Eretz Yisrael. It was worth it for them to give up their personal growth in order to impact the communities in the D iaspora. How unbelievable that a rabbi that is seemingly unknown to us, without any apparent impact , made a tremendous impact on our community. Who knows if Hacham Baruch would’ve ever come to our communit y without his psak ? My father learned with Hacham Baruch for two years. He was his student. Who knows the impact? We never know what the impact of Gedolim are, but it all comes from the ir Ahavat Yisrael, and their understanding of Kol Yisrael Arevim Ze LaZeh. It’s not always about our own personal growth or how good it will be for us. Sometimes we have to ask how good it will be for the community at large? Have a wonderful day.
Today we have two beautiful stories to share, about Hacham Yehuda Sadka, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivat Porat Yosef. Hacham Sadka was a mohel . He once went to a hospital to perform a brit milah (in those days the Brit Milah was often done at the hospital) but when he got there he realized there was no siddur there. He then asked his nephew to write down the various berachot of the Brit Milah (Brit of Avraham, giving the child a name, kiddish) and he put it in his pocket. Once the Milah started, the baby’s father offered one of the honors ( to make a beracha) to a local rabbi who had been invited. The rabbi declined, saying they should give the honor to Rav Sadka. Rav Sadka had a hunch that the reason the rabbi declined was because he did not know that beracha by heart, so Rav Sadka slid the piece of paper into the rabbi’s pocket. When the rabbi saw the paper, he agreed to do the beracha. Rabbi Sadka had the foresight to know that not everyone would know those berachot by heart, and rather than have a man embarrassed, he had the berachot written down, and then slipped it to the rabbi. Of course, it wasn’t Rabbi Sadka that told the story, it was the nephew who was involved that told of the story later on. Others might think- I don’t wan to embarrass anybody, but do I have to go out of my way to save him? Somebody else might rather get the kavod for themselves, because they do know it by heart. But rather than allowing even the slightest hint of embarrassment of a fellow Rabbi, he went out of his way to write down the Berachot beforehand. Think about the sensitivity and planning to avoid hurting someone. In the second story, there was a certain event where Rabbi Sadka was publicly embarrassed by someone. One of the Rabbi’s relatives wanted to make a big deal out of it, but when Rabbi Sadka realized that, he went to the relative’s home, where he found his relative preparation a whole paper in protest of what had happened. Rabbi Sadka told his relative to be mochel / forgive and forget about it. He brought a beautiful proof to prove it- The Gemara says that there’s a great virtue, of getting insulted and not insulting back. As it says, They hear their disgrace and don’t answer. He asks why it says in plural, “ those that get disgraced..” Normally, when a person is disgraced, it’s one man that gets it.. But here it’s plural, because it’s hinting to the concept that not only does the person who gets embarrassed have to be mochel, but the people around him, who sometimes want to stand up for his honor, should also be mochel. In this way, there will be peace among the Jewish people. We can never cease to gain from hearing great stories about our rabbis. Have a wonderful day.
Y esterday about the Rambam’s reason s for arguments, contention, and breakdowns in relationship s. When there are two people that have been raised with a different approach to things, they naturally like what they’re used to. But there is no right or wrong. The Rambam gives an example of people who live in certain places and eat things of lower quality, but look oddly at people who eat better foods People of different cultures like their foods best. A person from one culture says, “ Our food is the best food, and everyone knows that our Shabbat cooking is the bes t,” while at the same time, people from other communities say the same thing about their Shabbat food. There are endless examples of things that we do in their homes , thinking that those are the best ways to do things, but there really is no right and wrong way. Is there a right amount of time that Shabbat meal should take? Should it take one hour? Two hours? Three hours? Four hours? In one couple, the boy was raised to think that Shabbat meal takes under two hours , where as his wife’s family has a meal that takes four hours . He complains that her meals are so long , and she complains that his meals are so short. The first step is to realize that there is no right and wrong. Different people have different ways of doing things, and different ways of looking at things. But human nature is that once a person is used to something , they want to protect that way. That is why people don’t understand things - b ecause they want to protect their previous stands. They are used to it , so it’s automatically right. This is very important for human relations . When we get into arguments, we have to pause and ask ourselves these questions. This concept actually has a source of modern day psychology. It is c alled Con firmation B ias. It is the tendency to search for , interpret favorably , and recall information in a way that confirms or supports one’s prior beliefs or values. Once you believe something, you naturally and subconsciously look for things that will strengthen your belief. That was the story with the spies. They walked into the land and they said, “ The land consumes its inhabitants.“ R ashi explains that that was not what was really happening. God was making funerals happen in order that the spies would get lost in the crowd. The Steipler adds that if people really died every single day, they wouldn’t be making such big funerals , because it would be commonplace; that people die d all the time. But people see what they want to see, and see what is going to confirm their previous information or opinion. That is why, when you get into an argument , you have to realize that about yourself. Studies say that medical practitioners may prematurely focus on a particular disorder early in a diagnostic session , and then seek only confirming evidence. That is why a good diagnostician is a humble person. He doesn’t say, “I saw that and it’s right.“ He always leaves his mind open. We all have to be humble diagnosticians in any situation. Don’t jump to conclusions and think you have it , further strengthening your original opinion . There is a famous debate about whether last year‘s teacher should give all the information about the children to the next year ’s teacher. On one hand , the new teacher should know all this information . But on the other hand , you have already tainted his view. These are extremely important rules and fundamentals for how to stop arguments, and how to understand the way we see things. Because if we don’t understand and appreciate the fact that we will always strengthen our previous opinion, we will never be able to see the other opinion. Have a wonderful day .
We have been discussing that we don’t always have all the facts , and we also interpret the facts in a certain way. This is connected to Lashon Hara . The Torah , in Sh emot (23,1) tells us a negative commandment, one of the 613: לֹ֥א תִשָּׂ֖א שֵׁ֣מַע שָׁ֑וְא Do not accept false news. Rashi says that this refers to the prohibition not to accept Lashon Hara. Interestingly, there is a second prohibition that comes from this, that a judge may not hear one side of the story before the other. Both litigants must be present at the same time. They are a few questions here. Firstly, Lashon Hara is regarding things that are true, so why does it say false here. It’s false because you don’t have all the information, or because you don’t know how to interpret the information. So even though it might seem true, it’s really false. S econdly, why are there two seemingly different laws (not to accept La shon Hara , and that a judge can not hear one side before the other) coming from the same pasuk about not hearing false news? And furthermore, why shouldn’t the judge hear one side before the other? He will eventually hear both sides , so w hat’s the difference? The answer is that who m ever he hears first will paint a picture of truth , and the onus is on the second person to undo it. But if they are sitting there together, they may have a certain fear, the other person can interject, so it’s not a one-sided opinion. Both sides come together in a package. This is very important. The Rambam, in sefer Moreh Nevuchim ( sec 1, chap 31) quotes three reasons for arguments and communication breakdowns, from a seemingly secular source, Alexander Aphrodisi, a Greek philosopher. The first reason he gives is that people like to win a fight. They think they are right , and therefore they are not able to hear anything else. Reason number two is that the topic is complex. There are a lot of factors to account for. Thirdly, a person may lack the mind or intellect to understand a certain topic. Whether a person doesn’t understand the topic, or the topic is complex is the reason for an argument. This is what happens with Gemara- it’s a deep topic. We’ll argue either because the Gemara is complex or we don’t have the brains understand it. Those are the three reasons that Alexander Aphrodisi brings down. But the Rambam adds a fourth reason-we become habituated and we already learned things- and once you understand something one way, it’s difficult to undo that understanding. If you understand something one way and I understand it in another way, that is a breeding ground for argument s . That is why, as we said, a judge cannot hear one opinion before the other. It’s also partially the reason for La shon Hara . I have a certain way that I see things, which may lead me to look at some thing in a negative way. B’Ezrat Hashem we will further develop this point tomorrow.
Yesterday we discussed how the sin of the spies , when they came back with libelous reports on Eretz Yisrael, parallels the sin of the sale of Yosef by his brothers. W e will explain this further , but first we have to understand how the brothers, ten great Sadi kim , c ould sell their brother . Imagine the greatest rabbis of our time , whom everyone gets blessings from, getting together to sell the eleventh Rosh Yeshiva! Impossible ! But the Seforno tells us in Bereshit (37, 25) that the brother s considered Yosef a Rodef /a danger to the Jewish people. How so? Looking back at history, Avraham had a son, Yishmael, who was distanced. Yitzhak also had a son- Essav, who was distanced. Now, Yaakov was seemingly choosing Yosef as his continuation and distancing the brothers. And Yosef was speaking Lashon Hara about them. The y therefore deemed Yosef a threat to the Jewish people. Furthermore, Yaakov Avinu was teaching Yosef the teachings of Shem V’Ever - these were special teachings with a tradition that it is what would be needed to survive Galut . They knew that the Jewish people would to go down to Mitzrayim. Not Esav, because he would not be a continuation - only Yaakov. But to the brothers, it now seemed that only Yosef would be going down to Egypt, because only he was being taught the special teachings of Shem V’Ever ( which Yaakov Avinu was taught when he was going to his Galut , when Esav was chasing him). The facts seemed to lean towards their theory - that Yosef was indeed a threat to them. In actuality , however , Rabbi Y aakov Kamenetsky explains that Yo sef was taught these teachings because only Yosef would be in Egypt , alone without his brothers and his family. Only he would need that special learning. On the other hand , the brothers would come to an existing Yeshiva set up by Yehuda . Nobody knew the facts, including Yaakov (o therwise , he would have known that Yosef was alive) but God orchestrated th ings in a way that Yosef got the teachings that he was supposed to get. The brothers were really imagining the story that Yosef was a threat to the Jewish people , but based on the fact s that they seemed to have , they were right. This repeated itself with the sin of the spies. Yehoshua was Moshe Rabbenu‘s trusted student, and Moshe prayed that God should save him from the plot of the spies. Simply , this means that he was afraid that Yehoshua would get caught up in their web , with the libelous report. But the question is, why would Moshe Rabbenu only pray for his one student , why not pray for everybody? Th e Hida explains , based on a Rishon, that Moshe wasn’t afraid that Yehoshua would join the spies, he was afraid that the spies would kill Yehoshua! Why? Because it was the same story repeating itself. Yehoshua was a threat. They knew that Moshe Rabbenu was going to die , and that Yehoshua was going to take over. They thought, “ Of course Yehoshua wants to go to Israel, even though it’s dangerous for us, because he wants to be the leader. Therefore he is a threat to the Jewish people. ” Yehoshua’s life was in danger, from the same kind of story - a misunderstanding . They did not have a whole story. So again, history repeat ed itself. And this will continue until we get the lesson that we don’t have the whole story.
In Moreh Nevuchim (section 3, chap 46) the Rambam discusses the korbanot . He talks about the public atonement offerings that are always from he-goats. He explains that this is because the first sin of the Jewish people as a whole between man and his fellow had to do with a he-goat. When they sold Yosef Hasadik they slaughtered a he-goat and dipped Yosef’s coat in its blood. He says that we shouldn’t take this reason lightly. The purpose of a korban is that a person should pay attention to his sin, and remember it constantly. As David Hamelech says, “ Hatati Negdi Tamid, Always remember your sin. And since this sin if the brothers is the first source for all of our sins between man and his fellow, we must constantly remember it. (The ultimate sin between man and God is the sin of the golden calf, which has a korban from a cow. Since we are getting close to the three weeks, we will add that as there are two main sins of the three weeks . The y start off with 17th of Tammuz , which is the sin of the G olden C alf, a nd they end with Tisha B’Av which is the sin of the spies. You may wonder why it is the sin of the spi es and not the sin of Yosef and the brothers - we will get back to that. For now, there are two fundamental sins. One between man and his fellow, which was the selling of Yo sef , and one was between man and God , which is the G olden C alf . For now , we are going to focus on Yosef and the brothers. But how d o the spies fit in? When the brothers came to buy food during the famine , Yosef wanted to make a false allegation against them as part of his plan to reveal himself. He used two words, Meraglim Atem/ You are spies Simply , this means, “ You came out to spy the land of Egypt. ” But the deeper explanation is that they would come back again , in the s in of the spi es . 10 out of the 12 brothers sinned with the sin of the spies, and 10 out of 12 brothers sinned with the sale of Yosef. Yo sef called them Meraglim/ spies , and by doing so , he indicated that he was not a spy. He knew that Yehoshua, who came from him, would not sin in the sin of the spi e s . We see from here that the sin of the spies was nothing more than a repeat of the sin of Yosef and the brothers . Tomorrow , B’Ezrat Hashem we will discuss the link between these two sins, but it is extremely important to always have this on our mind - says the Rambam, because this is a source for all of our sins between man and his fellow. Baal HaTurim says (Bereshit 42,9)
This week we will discuss lessons from the previous Parasha, Shelach , and the sin of the spies. It’s relevant every day of the year because the sin of the spies caused Tisha B’Av and Tisha B’Ab caused the destruction of the Bet Hamikdash, which we are living with to this very day. Rashi starts off by saying that the spies were held accountable because, “ T hese wicked people saw what happened to Miriam, and they did not take musar/ he ed the lesson of Miriam.” Rav Chatzkel Levenstein, in his Sefer on Midot points out that the Torah demands of the spies to have contemplated the story of Miria m. We see from here (where it says that they saw and they did not take musar) that if they would have contemplated the story of Miriam, their sin would not have happened . He says that this is a powerful lesson. If they would have thought, they would not have done that s in , and if they would not have done that sin, then we would have gone into Eretz Yisrael, and the Bet Hamikdash would have been built and would never have been destroyed ( because Moshe Rabbenu would have built it ) . Everything would have gone great. He says that we see from here that the power of hitbonenut/ contemplation can change a person and can change the entire world . That is really what we were doing every day when we talk about Ahavat Yi srael . We are contemplating these important lessons. The Rambam clearly states the importance of contemplating the story of Miriam. In his words, “ The pasuk says , ‘R emember what happened to Miriam ’ and the Rambam adds, R emember doesn’t just mean to say the word ‘ Miriam ’ every day, it means to contemplate and think about it.“ He then gives an example of this contemplation. 1- Miriam spoke about her younger brother. 2- S he raised him. 3- S he risked her life to save him. 4-She did not really say anything negative about him . What she did was make a mistake by equating him to other prophets. 5-He did not even care , as it says that Moshe was the most humble of men. Let us pause for a minute. The Rambam is telling us that Miriam ’s seeming La shon H ara was that her brother was the number one prophet and she call ed him the number t wo pro phet . And this was by mistake. She basically said some thing which was 100% correct - that he shouldn’t separate from his wife . W e don’t , she reasoned, a nd we are prophets. But she didn’t realize that Moshe was on a higher level of prophecy . That was her mistake. This is also important because it tells us one of the fundamental s of Lashon Hara- that we really don’t have all the facts. W e see and interpret the facts based on what we think , without really having a full picture. The Rambam goes on to say that people first talk about people, then they talk about righteous Sadi kim , then they talk about prophets, and lastly they talk about God H imself , as he qu otes from a pasuk , “ The Jewish people created stories about God that weren’t true. “ This means that we have the same problem ; we mistakenly misunderstand what God is doing. That is really the fundamental of all sins- they come from misinformation of sorts. B’Ezrat Hashem, we will continue with this tomorrow , because these are fundamentals that w e always need to contemplate : the story of Miriam and the story of misunderstandings, which ultimately lead to Lashon Hara . Have a wonderful day.
We continue the topic of Mitzvot needing kavana , specifically acts of Hessed Rabbi Moshe Aaron Stern tells that Rav Eliyahu Lopian once asked him, “ In your opinion, who are the greatest Baalei Hessed of our generation ?” Rabbi Stern went on to list many great men that he knew , but Rabbi El ya and told him, “ No . The greatest Baalei Hessed of our generation are the police officers , because they make sure that there is law and order . And it says that if we did not have a fear of government , people with swallow each other up alive . They are the greatest Baalei Hessed.” And then Rabbi Lopian added, “ And if that’s the case , that they do so much Hessed, why don’t they get uplifted from it ? He answered that it was because they did not have kavana when they did it, so it didn’t change them. Powerful words. We need kavana when we do acts of Hessed, we can’t just do them out of rote . Actions change you if you give meaning and context to the them . Something becomes an act of Hessed only because you think it , and once you think it and turn it into an act of Hessed , then it impacts and uplift you . We say, every day, in our Birkat Ha Torah , before Keriyat Shema, “ Lilmod L’lamed/ I want to learn and teach .” Not all of us are teachers , but when you sit and learn with a learning partner, you are teaching him.. Whenever Rabbi Yehuda Segal, known as the Manchester Ro sh Yeshiva, would sit down to learn with a chevruta , He said, “I am now fulfilling the mitzva h of Lilmod L’lamed.” And he told his chevruta to say the same thing. Suddenly, you become not just a learner, but a teacher, which is in an act of Hessed, because you think about it before hand. We have one last story about G edolim and how careful they were when fulfilling Mitzvot Ben Adam l’chavero/ between men his fellow : There is a Mitzvah called B’Yomo Titen S’charo/ when someone works for you, you on are supposed to pay them the day that they worked for you . Technically, if they forgive you ( such as a Jewish painter who tells you that you can pay him tomorrow ) , you have not transgressed the sin of not paying him on time, but you have not filled th e mitzvah of paying him on time. Rabbi Aryeh Pomeranchik, a student of the Brisker Rav, once went to a dentist. The dentist charged a certain amount (we’ll say 1000 lir ot ) but the rabbi realized that he didn’t have the money on him. The dentist told him that it was okay, that he could pay him another time. But the rabbi felt bad that he would not be fulfilling the mitzvah. Thinking quickly, he told the doctor that he had a certain financial need , and that he needed to borrow 1000 lir ot . The dentist said it was no problem, and that when he came back the next day to pay his bill, he could pay back the loan as well . And he gave him the 1000 lirot. The Rabbi then gave the dentist back the 1000 lirot and said, “ I am now fulfilling the Mitzvah of paying you on time.“ He had borrowed the money, and once it became his, he paid the dentist. The next day he would go back and repay the loan. It was an ingenious way of fulfilling the mitzvah. Have a wonderful day
We continue with stories about how Gedolim had intention when they did an act of Hessed, turning it into a mitzvah. In the days of old, when trains stopped, they wouldn’t leave right away. They’d stop for a few minutes, and peddlers would get on the train to sell their wares. The Chafetz Chaim was once on a train with a group of people when some Jewish peddler women came on to sell buttons. The Chafetz Chaim bought some buttons from one of them, and once the people saw the Chafetz Chaim do so, they bought as well. The Chafetz Chaim later explained, “ Do you know how silk is made? Many small hair s are taken from a silkworm and added together, and silk is made. He said that every time we do a small deed, we are creating that silk. We just take a little hair, and can make silk out of it, provided that we ha ve the right intention . He said. “ W hen you bought the buttons, if you thought, ‘I don’t really need those buttons but I’m just doing it to give the person a little parnasa and make them feel good ,’ that is a mitzvah. But if you bought the buttons because you need them, then you lost the opportunity for a Mitzvah. ” This is an important rule. If we just copy what we see a Gadol doing, it is not really going to impact us , b ecause we aren’t doing it with the intention that they had. If you see them buy a button, so you buy a button, you haven’t really done anything. You have to think what they are thinking. It’s a general rule that our deeds impact us, when we know what we are doing. The Gemara says that if a person is yawning and he knocks into a light switch and turns it on on Shab bat , that is not a sin at all. He isn’t involved in what he’s doing. So too, when you do an act of kindness without intent. If you buy the button because you need buttons for your shirt, that does not count as an act of kindness. Thinking turns the mundane into the holy. Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach explained the famous Gemara that says that Hashem wanted to merit the Jewish people. And b ecause He wanted to merit us, He gave us many Mitzvot. What does that mean? Doesn’t having many Mitzvah make it harder? He explained that there are many things that we do anyway throughout the day , but by God turning them into a mitzvah, He is giving us the opportunity for a mitzvah. This is, of course, provided that we are thinking. The example he gave is tying y our shoelaces. There is a Halacha on how to tie shoelaces ( Put on the right shoe, then the left, then tie the left shoe and then tie the right ). You are tying your shoes anyway, but if you have in mind that you are doing it right, you are fulfilling a mitzvah. We are specifically discussing this concept as related t o Ben Adam LChavero / man and his fellow , but we can look at another example to illustrate how far this concept goes. Rav Baruch Ber Leibowitz was a great Rosh Yeshiva from Europe. He once came to New York and stayed with Ra v Ya akov Yosef Herman, famous from the book about him, A ll for the B oss . In those days, New York was full of cars, but Europe was not. Rabbi Le i bowitz told Rav Herman, “ The streets of New York are full of Mitzvot. “ R av Herman did not know what he meant, as at the time that weren’t even that many religious people in New York . Rabbi Le i bowitz explained that crossing the street in New York was dangerous, but if you looked both ways and were careful , you could fulfill the mitzvah of being careful of your soul. From then on , when he crossed the street, Mr. Herman would think about what Rav Baruch Ber did. Every time Rav Baruch Ber crossed , h e would say that he h ad in mind to fulfill the mitzvah. This is true of crossing the street, of exercising, doing push-ups or whatever you’re doing. If you have in mind that it is a mitzvah, it picks it up. And we should have this in mind specifically in all of the Ben Adam LChavero that we do. Have a wonderful day.
At the beginning of this series, we mentioned a big discussion in the commentaries about whether one has to have inte nt when one fulfil ls a Mitzvah that is between man and his fellow. When it comes to sitting a succah , or eating matzah , we are strict to say that Mitzv ot need intention. But the question is whether we have to be t hinking and having inte nt that we are doing a mitzvah when we give charity, or any time we do a hessed. There are many stories of Gedolim who ha d proper kavana w hen doing Hessed , which we will share. We won’t get into the discussion about whether one must do it, but we will see that it is definitely preferable. The first story is told by Rabbi Sholom Schwadron, a great Maggid from Yerushalayim. He was once walking his child to the doctor when he met Rabbi Yitzha k Isaac Sher, the Mashgiach of the Slobodka Yeshiva. Rav Sher asked Rabbi Shwadron where he was going, and Rabbi Schwadron answered that he was taking his child to to the doctor. Rav Sher, a Mashgiach who tried to get into the psyche of his student, said, “ You are going to take your son to the doctor? What is the difference between you and an animal? An animal takes care of his children, and so do you..… But the difference between a human and an anima l is that animal does it out of nature, while a human is able to think beforehand, ‘I am doing this to fulfill a mitzvah of Hessed’- even when you tak e your children to the doctor ! In another story, a great rabbi named Rab bi David Ba ha ra n saw his wife doing a difficult task, so he decided to go help her. Someone overheard him mumbling under his breath, “I am now having in mind to fulfill the mitzvah of Gemilut Hasadim.” Another very interesting story was told by Rabbi Eliyahu Abba Shaul z’l, who passed not long ago. He said that his father, Hacham Ben Sion Abba Shaul, told him that when he was getting married to the daughter of the great Hacham Yehuda Muslim, also a Rosh Yeshiva of Porat Yosef, “ As you get married, have in mind the mitzvah of Ubo Tidbak/ Cleave to God, b ecause the Rambam says that when someone marries the daughter of a h acham , he is indirectly connecting himself to Hashem by having such a father-in-law . As such, he was fulfilling the mitzvah of Ubo Tidbak/ Cleave to Him. Unbelievable! W hen someone marries the daughter of a Talmid Hacham, he can have in mind that he is doing an added mitzvah of connecting himself to God. Another story, w hich drills in the same point, is from the sefer K’Asher Siva Hashem, as God Commanded Us, a sefer dedicated to having kavana when one does a mitzvah, written by Rabbi Garfinkel. I noticed it in shul, and as usual, Hashem helps out in giving classes. In the town of Radin and there was a pharmacist who was not a religious man at all. The Chafetz Chaim , w ith his great Ahavat Yi srael , was able to rebuke people in the most ingenious way s, which did not cause them any hard feelings. Once, in the middle of the day, when there was a full crowd of people waiting, the Chafetz Chaim walked up to the pharmacist, gave him a hug, and said, “ T here is nobody like you! How many merits do you have! You’re saving people from death every day! Without your medicine, they would be dying! You are saving them! It is unbelievable what you were doing! “ The pharmacist, who was very far from any religiosity, felt touched and said, “ What do you mean Rabbi? I am doing this for my parnasa . I am getting paid for this. “ But the Chafetz Chaim told him, “ Even if you’re getting paid! You have a right to get paid , it is your par nasa . But when you ’re doing it, think to yourself, ‘I am now saving people ’s lives, ’ you will fulfill the mitzvah of saving a life, and it is not a contradiction .” Unbelievable. Any doctor or Hatzala person reading this should have that in mind. Kavana does something . Have a wonderful day.
In Orchot Yosher, Rav Chaim Kanievsky’s musar sefer ( Artscroll, 295) the following story is told: In the middle of the night, someone came knocking at the window of Rav Chaim’s home. Rav Chaim got up, in alarm, to see what happened. He found a Jewish man standing outside, who apologized for the late hour, but said that the matter fell into the category of Pikuah Nefesh/ Life and Death. Rav Chaim , ready to help, asked what was going on . The man said that his son was scheduled to have a Brit Milah in the morning, but he and his wife were arguing about which name to give the boy- from his side or hers. Rav Chaim advised the man to give the boy both names, and the man happily went home. The s tory shows us the patience of Gedolim . Rather than rebuke the man for waking him up in the middle of the night, Rav Chaim calmly gave him advice. Imagine if something like that happened to us! We would be remiss if we just told of Rav Chaim’s patien ce , and not of his wi fe’s . Rav Shraga Shteinman, Rav Chaim’s son-in-law, tells of a person who had mental challenges. He had learned with Rav Chaim in yeshiva when he was younger, and often came to the Kanievsky home. As was her habit, the Rebitzen always welcomed him pleasantly and gave him something to eat , because he was lonely. The ir bathroom door (like many in Israel in those days) had a window above it, and this fellow, who was not completely sane, would spend a long time in the bathroom before calling out, “I’m hungry! ” The Rebitzen would then d evotedly send a bowl of food to him down through the bathroom window ! The patien ce that Rav Chaim and his wife had for all the people that came into their home, at all hours of the day and night, is mind boggling. Anyone who has ever been there knows that it was literally what’s called a Reshut Harabim/Public Thoroughfare. They had no privacy, they just took care of everyone else. We aren’t anywhere near that, but we have to appreciate this level of patience, which is really rooted in humility. The Gemara , when it talks about the famous Hillel, tells of how humble he was. In the famous story of two people that had a bet about whether they could get Hillel angry, they went to his house on Erev Shabbat as he was in shower, and they knocked on his door frantically with an important question. H illel got out of the shower, put on his robe, and went to see what they needed. When he asked them what the emergency was , one fellow asked, “ Why do people from certain town have flat feet?“ After Hillel explained the answer and they left, he waited a little and then went back in the shower. Ten minutes later, they banged on the door again, with an “ emergency. ” This time , they ask ed why people from a certain town had eyes shaped in a different fashion. H illel answer ed them and went back in side, to finish his shower. When they c ame a third time, they sa id that they couldn’t get him angry and asked him if he was H illel. When he sa id yes, the y told him the re should be no more people like him in the world. When he asked why, one man said, “ B ecause I lost money on you. I lost the bet.“ And Hillel still did not get angry. Rabbi Ades points out that the Gemara uses this story , about the patience of H illel, as an example of his humility. People who are humble are patien t . The s ource of our lack of patience is arrogance. Who do you think you are, to bother me in the middle of the night? Once you take out all the ego, patien ce comes much more ea sily . Of course , this is a sobering concept. How much patience do we have? We have to realize the need for patien ce , even with people who are challenging . Have a wonderful day.
Today I will share what is, in my, my opinion one of the most important lessons in Ben Adam L’chavero/ Man and his fellow . Of course, it is not my opinion , it’s the opinion of Rav Wolbe. He said this in his sefer Alei Shur, and it was expressed by Rav Chaim Shmulevitz, and quoted from a biography of his life. “ Fools think that sharing a person ’s burden simply means helping him . They think that once an injured person has been treated and he can again do things his own , it is no longer possible to help him ( even though his injury may still causing pain ) . If help means physical hep, how can someone help someone after he has been treated? Sharing a person ’s burden means sharing his pain and suffering. When he’s carrying a heavy load ( ie a physical load) everybody understands th e necessity of lending a hand. But when he is carrying a heavy loa d of anguish, one has to l end a heart. See what Chazal say: The Gemara says that if the one is suffering is a Talmid Chacham, one has to feel sick over it. Simply, that means that should pray so hard that you get sick over it in your praye r because you are putting your heart and soul into the prayer. He explains what our rabbis mean by, “help.” Does does it mean bringing him a cup of tea? Feeling, “sick about it,” means that one has to take his pain into your heart , and feel his suffering. And if he’s a Talmid Chacham, b ecome sick from feeling the pain of his suffering. Normally, i f it’s a regular person , you have to feel sick but if he is a great Talmid scholar , you have feel his suffering so much that it actually makes you feel sick. Does this help? Of course it helps. Have you ever seen a group of people in pain? When one perso n , heaven forbid, is in mourning, he carries the entire burden on his shoulders . When two people are in mourning, it's easier for them . They divide the pain between them. This is man's nature. Referring to lyov, God says to the satan, " But protect his soul." God allowed the satan to take everything away from lyov, but He didn't allow the satan to take his friends away from him. If lyov had suffered alone, he wouldn't have been able to stand it. When hewas with others, the pain and suffering was divided among all of them. When God said, “ D on’t kill Iyov ,” included in that was, “ D on’t take his friends away. ” The Gemara (Bava Basra 16b) says "Either a friend like the friends of lyov or death." Man cannot suffer alone and survive. These are extremely powerful words, and the world is full of people that are suffering. Great people recognize it , and alleviate their suffering. Have a wonderful day and a Shabbat Shalom
I would like to share some lessons that Rav Meir Chodosh, the legendary Mashgiach of Yeshivat Hevron, gave to his Yeshiva boys, as they apply to us as well. He quoted the Chazal that says, “ I have learned much from my teachers, And from my friends, more than my teachers, And from my students, most of all.“ He said that every yeshiva boy should fulfill these three things at the same time. To do so, you could take a learning partner to learn from - Somebody who is better than you is like a rabbi. Then take a second learning partner , who is equal to you, so he is like your friend. Then, take a third learning partner whom you can teach. And if the student s pro tested that they n eeded acquire firmer ground for themselves before beginning to help others, he would reply, “ A nyone who knows the al eph bet is ready to teach others.“ This is a very important line. Many people have the attitude of, “W ho am I to teach anybody else?“ We spoke about this a few years ago when Hav ruta night was more popular in our community ( after Covid, m any people moved on to longer-term learning programs ). B ut it’s important to know that you can teach somebody else. That has in it Ahavat Yisrael. And as we have said earlier, “ You gain more from your students th an from anybody else .” People that have tried this see that it is true, and I have seen it in our Torah center. When someone starts teaching someone that is weaker than them, they understand they Gemara much better than if they had just listened to a class. G iving causes you yourself to gain. People make a mistake in thinking that they have to be worried about their own learning . T h at is selfish, and as we said , being selfish backfires.When you start car ing about somebody else’s learning , you will end up benefiting as well. The Mashgiach made another important point , about greeting new people in the Yeshiva , and t his a pplies to greeting new people in Shul as well . The first hello that a person receives is his entry pass, and it stays with him. He says that you have to pay attention to everything that is happening to the people around you, in shul or in school. We should not be like the Egyptians , about whom it was said, “ Whoever did not heed Hashem’s word left his cattle in the field.” It wasn’t a purposeful decision that the Egyptians made, to leave their cattle to get decimated . R ather , it was through their inattention that th e Egyptians lost entire herd s . A person has to be aware and attentive to what is going on around him. Sometimes we walk by people and don’t say hello, not purposely , but because we weren’t paying attention. But we have to work on that. We have to pay attention to the people around us. Look around. There are people that can gain from you. There are people that you can help. There are people that you can teach.. Keep your eyes open and find them. Have a wonderful day.
We recently spoke about the concept that a good eye, or a good heart (Rabbi Scheinberg called it a Lev Tov) is important, because that is the root of all good middot. In the book The Mashgiach about Rav Meir Chodosh put out by Artscroll (page 626), it describes a mashal he used to make this point: “Reuven comes over to Shimon and says, ‘ Your son Yaakov started up with another neighborhood child, without provocation. ’ And Shimon says, ‘ My son Yaakov? Impossible! You’re making a mistake. Please check your fa cts well before you spread a bad story about my dear son. ‘ When it becomes clear , beyond a d oubt, that the perpetrator was indeed Yaakov, the father becomes defensive. ‘ You have to understand, my Yaakov had a terrible toothache the night before. He couldn’t sleep. That is why he was not able to control himself . ‘“ That is the way a person behaves when he hears a negative comment about a person that he really loves. Rav Chodosh w ould then raise his voice and say, “ If we truly loved one another, would we be prepared to listen to slander about our fellow man? How do we come to have a situation where we do listen? The reason is that we are lacking in Ahavat Yi srael and that’s why we listen to the bad and shameful about others. Therefore, the first step that we have to take is to work on having an Eyin Tova / a good eye, to see a person’s good qualities and not their flaws. Then we won’t stumble into forbidden speech about people .” Rav Chodosh said that in the days of Elul, the Elder of Slobodka would say to work on overlooking slights. As it says, “If you overlook the sli ghts of others, Hashem will overlook your slights.” Then, after Rosh Hashana, the Elder of Slobodka would tell them, “ The suggestion that I gave, to overlook slights was a little too difficul t. I’m afraid you won’t succeed in that. So I have a new suggestion, work on Eyin Tova / A good eye, b ecause it says that a person who has a good eye will be blessed. ” R av Hodosh explained that the Elder was not backing away from his original advice. Rather, he was demonstrat ing how one could reach the level of being able to overlook a slight. That only happens by cultivating an Eyin Tova . When a person regards others with a benevole nt eye and sees his good qualities, he will s ucceed in overcoming the stumbling blocks that arise in human relationships, and be able to attain the level of overlooking slight. As the pas uk says: "On all sins, love covers it up.” So here we have yet again , another push for Ahavat Yi srael.
We continue with stories of Gedolim that show their great Avahat Yisrael, Derech Eretz and Middot. In the Artscroll book about Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky ( page 249), it says that the parents of a woman who used to help Rebitzen Kamenetsky with her shopping in M onsey happen ed to be in Florida one winter at the same time as R av Y aakov and his Rebitzen. Out of gratitude for their daughter ’s help, Rav Yaakov and his Rebitzen went to visit the couple. The father had little background in Torah, but nonetheless, he and Rav Yaakov spent an hour speaking amicably. At the end of the hour, the man’s face was aglow. He told his daughter, who was visiting from M onsey , “ He is my friend. I love him .“ When his daughter asked what they had found to talk about, he was puzzled by the implication that there might have been any dearth of topics in conversation. “ Medication‘s, mostly, “ he told her. Unbelievable. The Rabbi didn’t really know this man, but out of g ratitude for the man’s daughter, who helped his wife, he went to visit them in Florida and spent an hour of his time in light talk. There’s another story (page 250) that tells how one of the Rebitzen’s friends once rang the bell to the side door of Rav Yaakov’s house in Monsey. She was expecting the Rebitzen to answer, but Ra v Y aakov, who was in the living room , l earning , came to the door instead . He told the woman that his wife was praying and invited her and her young son to come in and sit dow n. He remain ed with them until the Rebitzen had completed her prayers. Then, even after the Rebitzen appeared, he did not rush back to his learning. Every time the visitor started to speak to the Rebitzen, Ra v Y aakov, who was walking back to the living room , would take a few steps back to listen to what she was saying. He considered it rude to ignore anyone who was speaking, even if that person was not addressing him. This happened three times, until the woman realized that if she did not remain silent until Ra v Y aakov left the room, he would remain there all day. Such is the respect that he had for people that he didn’t even really owe anything to, but who were being nice to his wife. In another story about how much he respected people that helped his wife, he went out of his way to add personal touches to gifts, which would have great meaning to the recipient - Even a Bat mitzvah present given to the daughter of a woman who frequently drove the Rebitzen came inscribe d the poem written by Ra v Ya akov himself , based on the girl’s name. It said, ( in Hebrew) From Chana and Yaakov Kamenetsky, Accept this our dear Haviva, our beloved A small gift, on the day you enter the yoke of our Torah Our sweet beautiful Torah ….etc Look at the time he took to give a bat mitzvah present to the daughter of a woman that help ed his wife ! Unbelievable. These are the signs of greatness. Have a wonderful day.
The pasuk in Kohelet (4,13) tells us: ט֛וֹב יֶ֥לֶד מִסְכֵּ֖ן וְחָכָ֑ם מִמֶּ֤לֶךְ זָקֵן֙ וּכְסִ֔יל It’s better to have a young, poor wise one than an old but foolish king Rashi explains, based on Hazal that the poor, young wise one is the Yetzer hatov/ good inclination. He’s called young because he’s 13 (or 12 for a woman) years younger than the Yetzer Hara, which is present from birth. He’s poor because no one listens to him. He’s wise because he gives man wisdom. On the other hand the Yetzer Hara is called a king because he controls everyone. He’s old because he is older than the Yetzer Hatov. But why is the Yetzer Hara called a fool? He is seemingly quite smart; he’s been capturing people for years. Nobody gets away without sinning. He seems to be quite cunning and conniving. The Chafetz Chaim explains, based on the following: In Hebrew, a shoemaker is called a Sandlar , because he sells sandals or shoes. So too, he says, the Yetzer Hara is called a K’sil, or fool, because that’s what he does- He sells foolishness; he makes people into fools. What exactly is the foolishness that the Yetzer Hara is involved in? In another pasuk in Kohelet ( 10,12) it says, לֵ֤ב חָכָם֙ לִֽימִינ֔וֹ וְלֵ֥ב כְּסִ֖יל לִשְׂמֹאלֽוֹ׃ A wise man’s heart is on his right side , and the heart of the fool is on his left. This is obviously a problem, because in human anatomy, everyone’s heart is on the left. What is the meaning of saying that a wise man’s heart is on the right ? (A cute anecdote: When Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky once went to his cardiologist, as the doctor searched for a heartbeat on the left side, the Rav quipped in jest, “ You won’t find it, Lev hacham L’mino/The wise man’s heart is on the right side .”) I was told an explanation of this pasuk in the name of the Chafetz Chaim ( which I didn’t see inside) that says, When two people face one another, when one person picks up their hand to point at the other’s heart, it will be with their right hand. Therefore, Lev Hacham L’Mino/ a wise man’s heart is not for himself . It’s for others. Therefore his heart on on the right side. He doesn’t have his heart in a selfish way. His heart is there to give others. And therefore, from the perspective of the other, the heart is on the right. Whereas the Lev K’sil/the heart of the fool is for himself, so his heart is on the left side. We see from this that this is the foolishness that the Yetzer Hara tries to sell us. It’s the foolishness of having the wrong perspective on our heart, and thinking that our heart is for ourselves and not there from the perspective of giving to others. Why exactly is that foolish ? What is the foolishness of a person thinking that his heart is for himself? The answer is that a person that lives life for himself isn’t really a happy individual. He thinks that he’s doing well for himself by being selfish, but the selfish person is ultimately miserable. That is why the Yetzer Hara is selling him on foolishness. Because it is really foolish to think that your taking is going to make you happy. The National Academy of Sciences shared the following studies: One found that those who volunteered to give blood after an earthquake experienced less pain than those who did a routine test, despite the use of a larger needle. A second discovered people who freely gave their time to revise a handbook for the children of migrant workers experienced less pain when exposed to cold temperatures than people who did not volunteer. In the most interesting study, researchers asked participants to consider donating money to help orphans; if they chose to do so they were asked to rate how helpful they believed their donation would be. The brains of those participants were then scanned via MRI while they received a nasty electric shock to their hands. Results showed the pain-control centers in the brains of those who donated reacted less to the painful sensation than those who did not give money. Not only that, but the more people believed their altruistic actions were helpful, the less their brain responded to the pain. This is extremely interesting. Giving to other people is actually beneficial. Brain studies show that regions of the brain that react to painful stimuli a ppear to be instantly deactivated by the experience of giving . We d on’t need studies to prove things to us , b ecause we have our Torah to teach it to us. But it’s interesting that even scientists are beginning to realize that v olunteering and other good deeds r educe physical pain. Therefore the wise man is the one who gives to others. The w ise man realizes that his heart is on the right side, whereas the fool doesn’t realize that taking for yourself is counterproductive - His heart is on the left. Have a wonderful day.
There is a beautiful story about Rav Scheinberg in his biography (page 304). A group of Roshei Yeshiva were discussing an issue that was prevalent in today’s society, the topic of Bitul , which literally means “ to annul ,” but is the tendency to belittle others. In attempting to get to the bottom of this problem, they came up with reasons for this spiritual ailment. These Roshei Yeshiva were trying to figure out how to better help their students. One of them said that it comes from insecurity; Disparaging other people makes one feel better about himself. A second suggested that it stems from immaturity. When someone is immature they knock others. A third said that learning more Mussar would affect their character traits. Rav Scheinberg‘s answer was that it came from a lack of Lev Tov/An absence of a good heart. A person with a sufficient amount of goodness in the heart will never knock anybody or speak Lashon Hara. If there is not enough goodness in one’s heart, he said almost sarcastically, the page of their Sefer Chafetz Chaim (the book of laws on Lashon Hara) which permits Lashon Hara for seven constructive reasons, would be worn ragged. In other words, if you don’t have a good heart you will find all the excuses in the world, halachically and legally, to speak Lashon Hara. Therefore, we have to work on Lev Tov, to have a giving good heart. Rav Wolbe said something similar, that Lashon Hara literally means A Bad Tongue- there is badness in the tongue, and therefore they can’t speak goodness. Rav Wolbe told the story of a time that he was visiting someone in Switzerland, and there was Baalat Hessed, a kind and giving woman, was there. Any time something of Lashon Hara came up, she immediately turned the story around into something positive. Rav Wolbe said he saw from this women that her goodness did not allow her to speak Lashon Hara. So we when we are trying to figure out ways to stop speaking Lashon Hara , and ways to stop knocking people, we have to work on the source, which is to have a Lev Tov, a good giving heart. Of course, that in itself is a job. We have to work on giving to others and by giving, your heart becomes a giving heart. Just focus on the symptoms, without focusing on the source, will never heal the problem. Lev Tov, a good heart. Have a wonderful day.
In the Artscroll book on Rav Shteinman (page 361) there is a beautiful story about what’s important and what isn’t. The director of a new organization was telling Rav Shteinman that A representative of another, more established organization had contacted him, complaining that their names were too similar. For example, one was called Samchenu/Make us happy, and the other was called Simcha . They sound similar. The man admitted that the names did sound similar, but he added that the other organization had been around longer. Rav Shteinman asked him why he didn’t just change the name of his organization. “ With all due respect ,” the man replied, “ if someone came to the Rosh Yeshiva complaining that the last name Shteinman bothered him, and he asked the Rosh Yeshiva to change his name to Buzaglo, would the Rosh Yeshiva change his name?!” Rav Aharon Leib looked at the man and said, “ Believe me, I would do anything to avoid a machloket/argument. If my last name really bothered somebody else, I would happily do it help another Jew. “ That is a sign of great people. Great people w get stuck on small things. Many times people say that is the principle of the matter. But that’s not an excuse, to stand on one’s rights. That is what great people teach us. Sometimes a minor thing can stop an argument, so why not just do it? People get stuck on the small, trivial things, and that is how arguments start. It is known that at one of Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky’s children’s weddings, he marched down with his wife and child, as is the custom for some, and at another one of his children’s weddings, the two fathers marched with the Chatan and the two mothers marched with the Kalllah , as is the custom for others. So they asked Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky what his custom was. He he answered that his custom was whatever the side does. In other words, it was not worth it to make a point of principle. If you make somebody else happy and it is not going against Halacha, go ahead. If you don’t like the name Shteinman, no problem. I’ll change it to Buzaglo. It’s fine, these things are unimportant. This is an important lesson. How many fights are started because people stand by their principles on really trivial items? Have a wonderful day.
Many months ago, when we started this series, we talked about the concept that when one does a mitzvah, he is supposed to have the proper intention. For example, when you put on tefilin in the morning, or Sisit, or perform any positive commandment, such as listening to the shofar, sitting in a succah or listening to the megila, you need to give kavana that your doing the mitzvah for the sake of God. The question of whether the same applies to Mitzvah between man and his fellow is discussed. Is it just enough to be nice? Can we just do it or do we also have to have in mind that we are fulfilling a positive commandment? I recently saw two nice stories that show how certain Gedolim were very careful in this area. The Chafetz Chaim’s son in law said that he was once traveling with the Chafetz Chaim by coach, and when the Chafetz Chaim took out his money to pay the driver, he said, “ I hereby have in mind to fulfill the mitzvah of giving a worker his money on the same day as he worked .“ He didn’t just do it. The Kaf Hachaim says that when you get a haircut, it’s an opportunity to pay the barber when he does his job. Even though it may seem like a simple, mundane act, with the proper kavana, you can uplift it. In another story, the Skulener Rebbe, who was a great Sadik, was once seen entering a rest room, and then exiting. He then walked back in, and came out again. The people were curious about what the Rebbe was doing, and asked him about it. He explained that he had seen a light on in the bathroom, so he went to check if anyone was inside. Since no one was there, he thought that was a waste of money (it wasn’t his house). And anytime you can save somebody money, it is a Mitzvah of Hashevat Aveda/Returning a lost object . A person’s money should not go to waste. If a person has a leaky hose, or a light is on in their car, when you tell the person, it is Hashevat Aveda . So he saw the light was on, but he could not fulfill the mitzvah properly once he was in the bathroom, so he left the bathroom, and washed his hands. He then said, “I am now fulfilling the mitzvah of Hashevat Aveda . Then he went back into the bathroom and turn the light off. This is great people. Not only was he going to have kavana, but he was performing a mitzvah, and had to make a statement of leshem yichud, which the Kabbalists say before they do a mitzvah. And he made sure that he washed his hands beforehand. That is how seriously a Gadol takes a seemingly mundane activity between man and his fellow. Activities between man and his fellow are just as important. Just as people leshem yichud before they count sefira or do other Mitzvot, this Rebbe said it before he turned off the light in somebody’s bathroom, to make sure they weren’t wasting electricity. These are great levels. Have a wonderful day.
The Midrash on Bamidbar says,” Bring me into the house of wine.” What is the house of wine? Har Sinai. The Torah is called wine . As it says, “A person is drunk, and not from wine .” The Torah can get you intoxicated. When God appeared at Har Sinai, He came down with angels that were formed like flags. When the Jewish people saw that, they wanted flags too, so God gave them flags. That’s why it says, “ And the flags are a sign of love.” What was it about the flags that were so impressive to the Jewish people? Later in Bamidbar, the midrash says that the angels give respect to each other, as it says , Oseh Shalom Bimromav/God makes peace in the heavens above .” There is an angel of fire, and an angel of water, but they get along. So too, the Sadikim get along. Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky explains that flags are really dangerous. Every flag is a sign of the individuality of that tribe, and if every tribe has an individual flag, there is room for dissension. It’s my team against your team. So flags aren’t necessarily the best thing. But at Har Sinai, when the Jewish people saw the angels come down as flags of peacefulness , they realized that you can have an identity and still have harmony. If that is what the Torah gives you, they said, we want it. That is why Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky says that the flags only show up around the Mishkan , which symbolizes God’s dwelling among the Jewish people; specifically in the Torah, which rests there. The Torah is the unifying force that allows us to have our individuality, yet at the same time be together as one unit. That is why, when we walk back our three steps in the Amida, we say Oseh Shalom Bimromav,” Throughout the Amida, our feet are together like angels; we become angelic when we pray. And when we walk back our three steps, we are saying we want to keep that angelic approach of Oseh Shalom Bimromav. Furthermore, there is a custom in the Syrian community, where before you walk back your original three steps to start the Amida, you wave to the person behind you. The Ben Ish Chai explains that this is because we want to be like the angels, who ask permission from each other. They are not, so to say, arrogant, in their serving of God. It’s like, as we say before any Mitzvah, “ Birshutchem/With your permission. That act of respect shows unity, and that’s the goal of kabbalat HaTorah . On one hand, everyone has their individual approach…Sephardim, Ashkenazim, Hasidim, etc. but we are all camped around one center spot, which is the Mishkan. That is what the angels showed us on Har Sinai, and that is one of the lessons of Shavuot, which we try to keep alive the entire year, three times a day, when we pray, before and after. Have a wonderful day.
Today we have another beautiful message from the great Rebbe of Tosh. A visitor, the son of another respected Rebbi, once asked the Tasha Rebbi to share his central Avodah . What was the main thing that he worked on, that encompassed everything? The Rebbi did not want to answer. It’s rare for somebody to want to divulge his inner work, but out of respect for this son of a great man, he said, “ Only through the love for one’s fellow Jew. The whole point of existence is to help another Jew. “ That was what he shared, which is fundamental to serving Hashem. One year, on the night of the Seder, the Rebbi was about to make kiddish. It was quite late, after intense prayers, and an exuberant Hallel, and finally, when the Rebbe was ready to start kiddush, a certain emotionally disturbed individual, who often came by to eat, knocked on the door. The Rebbe greeted him like a visiting dignitary and hurried to find him a seat. The Gabbaim were getting frustrated from the interruption, but they added a chair to the table. However, Rebbe was still not content. What about matzot for the man? They told him that there was no matzot. (These were special matzot prepared for the Seder, and each person had three matzot placed in front of them. There were no others. They had emptied out the boxes and there was nothing left). The Rebbe instructed them to go to a neighbor to ask for months out. The Gabbaim were getting frustrated, so the Rebbe took his three matzot, put them in front of his guest, and started kiddush. The Rebbe had prepared these Matzot from months earlier, cutting the wheat, guarding the flour, keeping it dry, and so on. These were the three matzot that he had chosen for himself, and yet he was ready, in an instant, to give them away to another Jew; a simple Jew who would not even appreciate them. He had taken what was most precious to him and given it away to another Jew, and that, as we said, was the foundation of his entire Avodah . His entire Avodah was, “ Only through Ahavat Yisrael, Only through love for a fellow Jew. That is the foundation for all of my Avodah.” He would give up his matzot rather than have another Jew be uncomfortable. These are really very powerful lessons, and they offer a glimpse into the secret approach of a great man.
The Midrash on Bamidbar says,” Bring me into the house of wine.” What is the house of wine? Har Sinai. The Torah is called wine . As it says, “A person is drunk, and not from wine .” The Torah can get you intoxicated. When God appeared at Har Sinai, He came down with angels that were formed like flags. When the Jewish people saw that, they wanted flags too, so God gave them flags. That’s why it says, “ And the flags are a sign of love.” What was it about the flags that were so impressive to the Jewish people? Later in Bamidbar, the midrash says that the angels give respect to each other, as it says , Oseh Shalom Bimromav/God makes peace in the heavens above .” There is an angel of fire, and an angel of water, but they get along. So too, the Sadikim get along. Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky explains that flags are really dangerous. Every flag is a sign of the individuality of that tribe, and if every tribe has an individual flag, there is room for dissension. It’s my team against your team. So flags aren’t necessarily the best thing. But at Har Sinai, when the Jewish people saw the angels come down as flags of peacefulness , they realized that you can have an identity and still have harmony. If that is what the Torah gives you, they said, we want it. That is why Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky says that the flags only show up around the Mishkan , which symbolizes God’s dwelling among the Jewish people; specifically in the Torah, which rests there. The Torah is the unifying force that allows us to have our individuality, yet at the same time be together as one unit. That is why, when we walk back our three steps in the Amida, we say Oseh Shalom Bimromav,” Throughout the Amida, our feet are together like angels; we become angelic when we pray. And when we walk back our three steps, we are saying we want to keep that angelic approach of Oseh Shalom Bimromav. Furthermore, there is a custom in the Syrian community, where before you walk back your original three steps to start the Amida, you wave to the person behind you. The Ben Ish Chai explains that this is because we want to be like the angels, who ask permission from each other. They are not, so to say, arrogant, in their serving of God. It’s like, as we say before any Mitzvah, “ Birshutchem/With your permission. That act of respect shows unity, and that’s the goal of kabbalat HaTorah . On one hand, everyone has their individual approach…Sephardim, Ashkenazim, Hasidim, etc. but we are all camped around one center spot, which is the Mishkan. That is what the angels showed us on Har Sinai, and that is one of the lessons of Shavuot, which we try to keep alive the entire year, three times a day, when we pray, before and after. Have a wonderful day.
We will quote again from the sefer on the Tosher Rebbe ( page 159): If there was a word that caused the Rebbe to react with distaste, it was the term אנש / Anash/ which is an acronym for Anshei Shlomeinu/ Our people; the people we have peace with. It’s a term used to describe the inner circle of Hasidim; those that are connected with the organization. It made no difference to this Rebbi what type of hasid a person was, or what his level of observance was. There was no concept of an inner circle or a priority list when it came to helping others. That is an important rule. The Rebbe would often circle the Yeshiva, and there was a certain boy, who would hurry to open the door for the Rebbi, and hold it open as the Rebbi passed through as a sign of respect for the Sadik. One day, the boy’s father came for a visit, along with his son. The Rebbi told the father, “ Your son has tremendous derech eretz for me.“ And then he turned to the boy and said, “ You should show that very same respect to every single person, not just to me.“ That is a lesson. A lot of times we show respect to the high priority, connected people. The simple people don’t necessarily get that same respect. The sefer then tells a story about the Rebbe and how he cared for everybody’s respect. Hasidim have a custom called a Tish (which means table in Yiddish), where on Friday nights, they all gather around their Rebbi’s table. There was a visiting dignitary one night, and the Rebbe noticed that he was sitting in a chair that was usually reserved for the Rebbi‘s eldest son in law. The Rebbe realized that when his son-in-law came in, there was a good chance that the guest would feel uncomfortable when he realized that he was sitting in somebody’s place. He might get embarrassed. So the Rebbi immediately turned to his Gabbai and asked, as a favor, to please go to his son-in-law‘s house, to ask him if he could read the Parasha the next morning. He said he was too tired to prepare, and that, “ If he stays home, instead of coming to my Friday night table, he will have enough time to prepare. “ A close hasid saw the entire exchange and understood what really had happened. The Rebbe, who read the Torah every Shabbat and never once missed, had asked somebody else to substitute, because he saw a potential problem. The man might get embarrassed, so he devised a solution and executed his plan in just a few seconds. His mind, which was able to work very quickly to figure out halachic questions worked just as quickly to figure out how he could cause this person to avoid heartache. That is great people.
I would like to share a beautiful thought on Ahavat Yisrael that connects with Emunah and Bitachon, another favorite topic of mine. There is a book about the Tosher Rebbe, published by Artscroll. It discusses ( on page 154) how the Tosher Rebbe received people at night; and there were often very long lines of people waiting to see him. This meant the Rebbe would often forfeit his sleep in order to make sure that he got to see everybody. His Gabbaim would try to make these conversations shorter, but the Rebbe always answered, “ My job is to bless them; But I can’t give them a beracha if I don’t know what they need. To give them the blessing that they need, it takes time, until they feel comfortable enough to share. Sometimes the person himself doesn’t know what he wants when he comes in, he needs time to figure it out.” And then he added the following, which is the point that I would like to share, “ If Hashem sent this person to me, at this moment, then it is certainly for my benefit as well. I might learn some thing. Every person who comes in has something to teach me. I don’t let them leave until I find the area in which I can learn from them.” That is a beautiful way of looking at life’s interactions. I once heard that Hashem spends His day mezaveg zivugim/making matches. But the obvious question is, does Hashem really need to spend all day making matches? He has nothing else to do? I once heard an explanation that mezaveg zivugim doesn’t just mean He’s making matches between husband and wife. It also means having people with meet up with one another. That is what the Tosher Rebbe’s message was. When we come into contact with someone, whomever it may be, it’s not just because that person might need a favor, but rather because we need to meet him as well. A man once came to the Rebbi on Taanit Esther, which was one of his busiest days of the year. They told the man to come back after Purim, but the man said that this was the only time that worked for him. Eventually, he gained an audience with the Rebbe, and the Rebbi spent a long time with him. It was a very busy day, and the Gabbai complained that they did not know who this man was.. they had never seen him before. He wasn’t at all connected with them. So why was the Rebbe treating him as if he was a personal friend from the same hometown? It was unfair to the others. There were local steady Hasidim who were waiting their turn. The Rebbi responded with the following, “ If Hashem brought this man into my presence , then He wants him here. It is truly, very personal and he really is a local.” This is a great lens for looking at our interactions with other people. And this deep rooted Emuna is a good source for Ahavat Yisrael. If the person is here, that means Hashem sent him here, and I have to give him his time. Have a wonderful day.
We continue with Ahavat Yisrael stories of Rav Chaim Kanievsky, and see the need to balance one’s stringencies with other peoples’ feelings: Rav Chaim had no contact with modern day technology. He never had a phone in his house, he never even touched a phone. He never touched a recorder, and he spoke on a phone only once or twice in his life. He was completely involved in Torah, and that was it. The reason he stayed away from technology was because he thought it would interfere with his learning, so he made a geder that he wouldn’t touch a phone. However, in one case, he felt that he needed to speak on the phone, so he made an exception and spoke on speakerphone. It was when someone had purposely misquoted him as saying something that might have offended a great rabbi (his grandson was not sure if it was Rav Yaakov Kaminetzsky or Rav Chaim Kreiswirth). Rav Chaim therefore didn’t think a written letter would do the job. He felt he had to actually speak to the Rabbi. He went to a neighbor’s house and asked to be put on speaker phone in order to appease that Gadol. So he waved his stringency in order to make sure that the rabbi was not insulted. Rav Chaim was totally immersed in Torah and had a selective memory of sorts. He would forget things that were not related to Torah. But if something was related to Torah or Hessed, that he remembered. He wrote approximately 70 letters a day (They were short, only about 3-4 words each). Once, about four days after he responded to an elementary school boy’s letter, he met the boy’s uncle in the Lederman Synagogue and said, “ Tell your brother that his son asked a good question.“ Four days, and 280 letters later, Rav Chaim remembered what this young boy had asked. This same Rav Kanievsky was once told that a certain wealthy man was coming in with a certain problem, and that it would make a good impression if the Rabbi, when greeting the man, would say,”Oh yes, I am aware of your problem.” Rav Chaim agreed and said he would try to do so. But when the wealthy man walked in and was introduced to Rav Chaim, Rav Chaim had no recollection of who this man was. Why? Because it was not important for learning or for Hessed. In this case, they wanted to get money from the man for a certain yeshiva. But obviously Rav Chaim’s brain wouldn’t hold onto that. What we can learn from these stories is that the Rabbi had a special area of his brain reserved for giving people respect, whether it was a Gadol that might have been insulted (for which he waved his no-phone policy), or in order to give nachat to the father of a young boy, because the Gadol recalled his letter. Have a wonderful day.
While we were in Eretz Yisrael, we merited to hear the grandson of Rav Chaim Kanievsky tell us some stories, such as the following: Rav Chaim once put out the hidushim of Rabbi Eliyahu Dushnitzer. He had learned by this Rabbi in the Lomz Yeshiva in Petach Tikva. Many great Gedolim learned under this Rabbi, who was a student of the Elder of Kelm and the Chafetz Chaim. It was uncharacteristic of Rav Chaim to take the time to raise money and work on the manuscript, as he usually spent his time learning When people asked him why he did it, he explained as follows: When he was a boy learning in the yeshiva, Rabbi Dushnitzer had asked him to send a question to the Chazon Ish, who was Rav Chaim’s uncle (his mother’s brother). He would leave from the Yeshiva to return home to Bnei Brak, and as there were no phones or other modern means of communication, Rav Chaim was the trusted messenger of many people, sent to ask questions to the Chazon Ish and report back. Rav Chaim said that he felt that when returning messages from the Chazon Ish to Rav Dushnitzer, he failed to give him the proper respect. Imagine a young boy of 18, being sent by an older Rabbi, to ask questions to the Gadol Hador. He might come back with a little chip on his shoulder. Whatever it was, Rav Chaim felt that he did not give his Rabbi the proper respect, and he had never asked forgiveness for it. The Rabbi had passed away by then, so he felt that in order to appease the rabbi for that lack of respect, he would put out his Rabbi’s sefer. What is unbelievable about the story is that it is known that when Rav Eliyahu Dushnitzer gave somebody rebuke, it was always with a soft word and a warm smile, and he would always ask forgiveness from the students, in case he hurt their feelings. He explained that it was because it says that when you give somebody rebuke, you have to make sure that you are doing it properly. If you don’t do it properly, and hurt the person’s feelings, you have to ask them forgiveness- otherwise it is not a proper rebuke. This Rabbi was on such a level that he was asking forgiveness from his own students, so obviously he didn’t really care about the little slight that might have happened from Rav Chaim, and yet Rav Chaim felt that this was enough to warrant spending time and money to put out his old Rabbi’s manuscript, in order to appease him for that lack of respect. Wonder of wonders. This shows us the level of respect that we are supposed to have for our fellow human beings. Have a wonderful day.
On our trip to a Eretz Yisrael, we heard a eulogy on Rav Chaim Kanievsky zsl, given by his grandson, who told us two powerful Ahavat Yisrael stories. The first was about a man who came to Rav Chaim, who had a bird’s nest on his back porch. He knew that Rav Chaim loved to do Mitzvot, so he offered the Rabbi the opportunity of fulfilling the mitzvah of Shiluach Haken/sending away the mother bird. But Rav Chaim declined. He said that he was busy learning and didn’t have time. The man was a little surprised. He mentioned that he knew the rabbi had gone to another person‘s home recently, when that person offered the Rav the opportunity to do this same Mitzvah. Rav Chaim replied that in that particular case, there was an aspect of chesed involved. Rav Chaim knew that the other man would feel good if the Rabbi had come to his home, so in order to make that man feel good, he closed his Gemara and went to do the mitzvah. But in this man’s case, to just go and do the Mitzvah when the man really didn’t need that hizuk, Rav Chaim decided that it was better to remain learning his Gemara. This is just one example of how an Adam Gadol always has his eyes open, and sees things through multiple lenses. Another, similar story was about when Rav Chaim was younger (about 27) and learning in Kollel Chazon Ish. He was learning b’hevruta with a younger, single man (about 20 years old). This younger man had written a Habura/an essay of sorts, on a chosen topic. But he noticed, in a sefer from an Aharon/a later rabbi ( from 100 years ago, as opposed to 800 years ago) that the rabbi wrote something that seemed to undermine the whole principle of this young man’s essay. He felt a little broken, after having put so much time and effort into writing something that he now saw as wrong. He mentioned to Rav Chaim, as they walked in the street together, his concerns about what he had written and how he found a sefer from a later rabbi that seemed to refute it. They went passed a few houses when Rav Chaim commented, “ I just reviewed the whole Bavli (which is the entire Shas, over 2,000 pages) and there is nothing contrary to what you thought.” They walked a little bit more, and Rav Chaim said , “I went through the Yerushalmi (the Jerusalem Talmud) and there is nothing that goes against what you thought.” Then he listed multiple databases that he’d gone through in his mind, and he assured his chavruta that he could very comfortable with what he wrote. It was fine. Normally, Rav Chaim would not show off his knowledge, or that he was able to mentally review all that knowledge in such a short time. But in order to make this fellow feel good and not be down over the possibility that what he wrote wasn’t the truth, Rav Chaim went out of his comfort zone and shared his knowledge, in order to pump this fellow up. Again, we see how great people know how to look at things. They know when to use humility, and when to put humility to the side. Have a wonderful day.
There is a beautiful story about Rav Shach that we heard from Rabbi Matisyahu Deutsch, the Rav of Ramat Shlomo, in Eretz Yisrael. All his life, Rav Shach did kaparot using money (others do it with chickens). One year, his student, Rabbi Dovid Frankel, brazenly decided to offer Rav Shach to do kaparot with chickens. It was Erev Yom Kippur, at three or 4 o’clock in the morning and the lights were on in Rav Shach’s house. Rav Frankel knocked on the door with a chicken in hand, and told the rabbi he wanted to do kaparot with him. Rav Shach agreed and asked Rabbi Frankel what to do, as he’d never done kaparot with a chicken before. Rav Frankel showed him how to put it around his head three times and read from the Machzor. When Rav Shach asked what was next, Rav Frankel took him to the shochet to slaughter the chicken. Rav Shach asked again, what to do next, and his student showed him to do kissoy hadam/ throwing dirt on the blood … When the rabbi asked what was next, he said they would go give the meat to a poor family… After they finally finished the whole process, it was 4:30am, and they went back to Rav Shach’s apartment, Rav Shach said, “ Thank you very much. But do me a favor. Next year, I think I am going to do it with money .” Rabbi Matisyahu Deutsch asked us what we would have done if someone knocked on our door at 3am, when we were learning, asking us to do kaparot with a chicken when we’ve done it all our lives with money. We’d slam the door in his face right then and there. But Rav Shach had the patience to go through the process, step-by-step, and go along with the man the whole way. He said that is the sign of the Gedolim . Gedolim have patience. They don’t get easily upset or angry with people who nag or nudge them. There are many stories of great rabbis who have patience for all kinds of things, and it all goes back to the Gemara’s famous story of Hillel. Two people had a bet about whether they could get Hillel upset. The Gemara asks, “ Who is humble like Hillel?” Rabbi Ades says that we see from that Gemara that when people get upset from those that nag them, or otherwise, it inherently comes from a certain level of arrogance, from feeling a certain level of importance and that this person is bothering them. Sometimes, if a great or very important man asks you for something, it doesn’t bother you. You are very happy to do it. But when someone on a lower level than you ask for things, that’s when you start getting upset. Our great rabbis, as great as they are, have the trait of humility. That is why they don’t get angry easily. In the days of Sefirat HaOmer, our rabbis say that humility is one of the key things to work on. How do you know if you have humility or not? We have the answer here. See what your level of patience is, for the nudniks in your life. Have a wonderful day.
I would like to share another beautiful story about the Bet Halevi, that I saw in the book that I recently found. The Bet Levi was appointed as the rabbi of a town which was slightly bigger than the town he had come from. In the larger town, it was customary for the community to gift the rabbi with a cow and chicken. This way, the rabbi would have his own steady supply of milk and eggs. These were some of the perks given to the Rabbi for his Parnasa. One day, a poor man came to the Bet Halevi with nothing. The rabbi told the man to take his cow. The man refused, saying that the community would want it back. So the Bet Halevi told him to come in the middle of the night and take it. This way, everyone would think it was stolen. When the man protested, saying he didn’t want to break in, the Bet Halevi instructed him to come at 3am, and he’d leave the barn door open. “ Everyone will scream and yell that the rabbi’s cow was stolen and they’ll buy me another cow.” Sure enough the plan worked. (It was the rabbi’s cow and he was free to do whatever he wanted with it, even if the people were upset. It was all legal, obviously.) What town was in an uproar. Who would steal the Bet Halevi’s cow?! They searched everywhere, and they looked for evidence, but there were no broken locks or finger prints. They couldn’t believe it; they didn’t know what to do. After a few days they bought the Bet Halevi another cow. A short while later, another poor man came to the Bet Halevi. The first poor man had told him what happened and sworn him to secrecy. He approached the Bet Halevi and asked for help because was very poor. Again, Bet Halevi told him to come back at 3am and take the cow, and that’s what they did. The next morning, when the townspeople found that the Bet Halevi’s cow had been stolen again, they realized something strange was going on. Why would a cow thief only pick on the Bet Halevi? Eventually, they figured out what was going on and they came to him with a plan: There is a Halacha that you can give someone a cow (or chicken) in its entirety, or you can tell him that he only owns the milk of the cow, or the eggs of the chicken. So they told the Bet Halevi that from then on, he would only own the milk of the cow and the eggs of the chicken. In this way, the Bet Halevi would be able to eat what he needed, but would not able to give away the animals. We can see from the story how totally selfless he was. In a similar story, while the Bet Halevi was out one day, a large meal was being prepared in his house. When he got home, he instructed his Gabbai to take all of the chicken and meat and other food, and bring it to a sick person, whom he had come across on his way home that day. When the person who had prepared the meal walked in and saw all of the food missing, the Bet Halevi’s wife explained that this was a normal occurrence in their house. Her husband was always up to something. That is the way they lived. When something needed to be done, they just did it, without making any general calculations. Imagine that someone is hosting a Sheva Berachot one night , and hears that a family of Ukrainians has just arrived. They’re living down the block, they haven’t eaten in a week, there are eight families living in one apartment and the stores are all closed. The main course is about to be served at the Sheva Berachot. How many people would tell their guests to skip the meal and just have dessert, and then take all of that food over to the refugees? I’m not sure how many people would think like that, but that is the kind of greatness and insight that we see from Gedolei Yisrael. Have a wonderful day.
I spent this past Shabbat in the Yeshiva Kol Yaakov with the great Rosh Yeshiva Chacham Yehuda Ades, and I merited to sit by his table. That afternoon in the yeshiva, while looking for a sefer in the Kol Yaakov library ( which is quite large) I stumbled upon a sefer on the Bet Halevi that I had been looking for, for years. One of the wonderful stories in the Sefer is the following: The Bet Halevi, who was the leader of his generation, was on his way to a meeting of great Gedolim , a meeting he was supposed to be chairing. They sent a coach and driver to take him there, along with fur coats and blankets for the Rabbi and his aide, due to the harsh winter. They also sent money and food for the trip… anything he’d need was sent from the wealthy town, in order to enable him to travel to the meeting. On the way, he stopped at an inn where they met a gentile farmer who sneered sarcastically, “ Oh, I see a rabbi..look at all the furs you’re dressed in. It’s a shame they don’t take care of their people the way they take care of their rabbi.” The rabbi asked what he meant. The man said, “ You don’t care about your fellow Jews. I live in a town about 30 km away, and there is a Jew there- if not for the fact that his neighbors give him some food, he and his family would starve. He is sick and he does not have money for the doctor, and nobody cares about him. You just don’t care about each other.“ The Bet Halevi said that surely this wasn’t the case, that perhaps nobody had been aware of the situation. “ But now that we know about him, we will take care of him. Where is he?” The farmer told the Bet Halevi exactly where this man lived, and the Bet Halevi instructed the driver to take a detour, to go visit this sick man. The aide protested, saying that all the leaders of the generation were waiting for them. The Bet Halevi apologized, and said he’d make it quick, but it was pikuach nefesh/saving a life. The aide and rabbi each tugged the ropes of the horse in a different direction until the aide finally agreed to go where the Rabbi wanted. When they got to the poor man’s house, they saw holes in the windows and a leaky roof. The house was freezing and the children sat huddled in the corner, shivering. The man was laying in bed with a high fever and his wife didn’t know what to do. The Bet Halevi immediately took action. He told his aide to go to the neighbors to find a local handyman. When the handyman came he instructed him to get some helpers to fix the windows and the roof and to get wood for the fireplace to warm the house. They immediately got to work. The Bet Halevi asked the wife whether they had any nourishing fluids to give her husband, as he wasn’t eating. She said she didn’t, so he instructed his aide, who was also a shochet , to slaughter a chicken to make chicken soup. The Bet Halevi pried the man’s mouth open with a spoon, to feed him the soup. He stayed with the man all night, and slowly but surely the man opened his mouth to take some soup. When it was time for Shahrit the next morning, the Bet Halevi told his aide to take over, and he left. He returned fifteen minutes later. It was the fastest Shachrit the aide ever saw. The Bet Halevi then resumed his care of the man, doing everything necessary, until later that day when he finally felt that the man was out of danger. He then took all the food that was supplied for his trip and gave it to the family. He left the fur coat for the man to use until he got better, and he gave them everything he could to help, other than the bare necessities that they would need to continue the trip, and he left. He finally arrived at the meeting, a few days late… The story picks up a few months later when a tall well-dressed man came to the Bet Halevi’s home, asking if the Bet Halevi recognized him. The Bet Halevi said, “ Of course I recognize you. You are the man that was sick. What brings you here?” The man said that he had come to return the fur coat, but the Bet Halevi told him to keep it, that he needed it. The man replied that he was no longer poor and that, “ It says Tov Eyin Hu Mevorach/A man with a good eye gives blessings, and you blessed me that I should be successful. You gave me money and there was beracha in it. My wife took the money and bought wheat, which she then sold in the market. She bought more wheat and before we know it, we had a successful wheat business.” And the rest is history. Look how a Gadol B’Yisrael stops everything he is doing. He knows what is really important. He doesn’t let politics, or the larger, more global, community work come before a specific person in need. Have a wonderful day.
We are getting closer to Shavuot , and have just passed the Lag B’Omer point, which was when the students of Rabbi Akiva stopped dying and the new students came about. It says that they died because, “ Lo Nehagu Kavod Zeh LaZeh/They didn’t act with respect one to another. ” Rabbi Akiva himself told his five new students to be careful, not to repeat the same mistake. And we are now in the days of that lesson, so we should know exactly what “ Lo Nehagu Kavod Zeh LaZeh ” means. One of the Rabbis that we visited in Eretz Yisrael said that it doesn’t say that they did anything wrong . It was just a lack of kavod/honor . They didn’t have a certain amount of kavod . They explain that Rabbi Akiva himself didn’t pick up on it. The Rabbi said that Rav Shach told a story to explain this lack of kavod: There were two great rabbis, Rabbi Akiva Eiger, the Chief Rabbi of Posen, and Rabbi Yaakov of Lissa, known for his Sefer Netivot Hamishpat. They were once in another town together as guests, and the town gave the Aliyah L’Torah to Rabbi Akiva Eiger. When they announced this, he fainted. Why did he faint? Because he felt it was a lack of respect to the other Rabbi, that he got the Aliya while that rabbi did not. The Netivot Hamishpat said that he would revive him, which he did by whispering in the Rabbi’s ear, “ The reason why you got the Aliyah was not because they felt that you were greater than me, but rather that you are the Rabbi of a city with more people.” With this, Rabbi Akiva Eiger was revived. This story is an example of a lack of kavod. It’s a lack of the positive, and not that anything was actually done wrong. The Rabbi who told us this story was Rav Matityahu Deutsch, the Rabbi of Ramat Shlomo, the city where Yeshivat Mikdash Melech is located. It’s also where kollel Ohel Yosef, the kollel that has been adopted by the Yad Yosef Torah Center, is located. Rabbi Deutsch told us a beautiful thought on Ahavat Yisrael. He asked why it is that if a Sefer Torah that has two letters touching, it’s pasul / invalid . It says that are 600,000 letters in the Torah, corresponding to 600,000 Jews. However, if you count them, it’s actually not 600,000. There are different explanations as to how we find 600,000 letters in the Torah if they don’t all really exist. One of the answers is that it depends on what kind of Jew you are. Certain Jews have a letter, while other Jews might have the crown of a letter, and other Jews might have a part of a letter ( Alef , for example, is made up of three parts: a vav and two yuds ). Then there are certain Jews that don’t have a letter in the Torah; they have the space between the letters. That is their part of the Torah. They are empty, but they also accomplish something. They are the space between the letters. So when two letters touch, we are missing that Jew, and that is why that Sefer Torah becomes pasul . What Jew does this refer to? It is the Jew that you don’t even see. He’s irreligious, but he also makes up the Sefer Torah. That is why we have to be careful with every Jew. By squashing that Jew, with the two letters touching, the entire Sefer Torah is pasul . Have a wonderful day.
We continue to quote from Chacham BenSion’s sefer, Or L’Sion. On page 168, it says that if someone sees his friend doing something wrong to God, of course, there is a Mitzvah of rebuking him, because you want him to do what is right. But what you should be really thinking, he says, is that you don’t want the person to get punished. He says that if a person doesn’t rebuke him, it seems that he doesn’t really love him, because if he really loved him, why would he want him to be punished? He says that sometimes what stops the person from giving rebuke is embarrassment. But, in his words, “That is an invalid embarrassment.“ There is a time to be shy, and there is a time to not be shy. This is not a time to be shy. Of course, you have to do it gently. And furthermore, he says that when a person sees someone else doing something wrong, what he should really be thinking is, how can I apply this to myself? What do I see that I can fix in myself? If Hashem caused me to see this, it is there to teach me a lesson for my own situation. When he talks about embarrassment, he says that a lot of times, people are in need. They may need funds for a wedding or anything else, and if you really loved the person, you would help them. But he says, don’t say that you are embarrassed to collect for him. If you were collecting for yourself, that might be embarrassing, but when you’re collecting for somebody else there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. My father-in-law Rabbi Scherman told me a story about Rabbi Shmuel Scheiner’s wife, Rebitzen Scheiner. She used to sell raffle tickets for many kinds of fundraisers, going back over 50 years. She would ask her grandchildren to sell the raffle tickets to their friends. One of her grandsons was embarrassed and turning all kinds of colors. She asked him if he was embarrassed and he said that he was. She asked him why he was embarrassed, if he was not collecting for himself. That is good training and good hinuch. (We won’t get into the aspect of whether it is right or not to teach children to collect), There are many Yeshivot which teach the children to collect money on Purim and other occasions, for the very purpose of training them not to be embarrassed in that situation. We have to overcome that. One might say, “I’ll write a check but I won’t collect the money,“ but that is the wrong attitude. Everybody has to get over that, and help collect money. People may have differing opinions about children collecting, but as you get older, embarrassment is certainly not an excuse, says Chacham BenSion. You aren’t collecting for yourself, and you have responsibility to help people. He says that there are certain shuls that have a group called, “the group that is there to help their friends,” and when someone has a problem they go there, where their job is to help their friends.
Chacham Ben Sion, in his Sefer Or L’Sion (page 167) says that part of Ahavat Yisrael is making sure to get rid, in your heart, of the causes of arguments. He says that quite often, arguments are over money, but that if you look into it, you’ll see that it is really childish. As we know, based on our Emuna and Bitachon, money will not save you from anything. This is no different, he says, than children sitting in a sandbox fighting over toys. We are just bigger babies. And this is assuming that you were right and the guy really took your toy away. Sometimes, you only think he took your toy. He says that quite often, from his experience, most of the suspicions that people have are actually false. People assume and imagine, but if we really look into it, in his experience (he was involved in a lot of judgments) much of it is just imagination, built on false foundations, causing arguments that were really never meant to happen. Furthermore, he says that we should live with the dictum of Shlomo HaMelech, “ On all faults, love covers .“ This means that when you really love somebody, you don’t see their blemishes. If you love your grandmother, you don’t see her wrinkles. When you love someone, you don’t see their negative points- and the opposite is true. If you dislike somebody, it will cause you to see their negative points. He gives a Mashal : There are two artist, both painting a picture of a young boy, but one boy is actually one of the artist’s sons. The picture painted by the parent will come out better, because a parent loves his son deep down in his heart, and that love will come out in every stroke. He will only see the positive, so the mole on the boy’s face will be smaller, his eyes will be a little bigger, and he will only accentuate the good points. And the opposite is true. In cartoon caricatures, the artist often draws the nose extra big, because he really doesn’t like that guy very much, and he exaggerates any other faults he can find. But when someone loves someone, it is the opposite. Therefore, what we really have to work on is the interior workings of our psyche. We have to find out what’s causing us to get into these arguments. The cause might be some silly money issue, or it might be just based on dislike. We have to get into the guts of it, to try to fix the causes of our arguments. Have a wonderful day.
Chacham Ben Sion, in his Sefer Or L’Sion, Chochma u’Mussar ( page 165), says that what really indicates that a person has Ahavat Yisrael is whether he is happy with his friend’s Simcha. It is not enough just to feel his pain, but in his words, “ the main thing is to be happy in his happiness.” That is the true test of Ahavat Yisrael. He says one of the reasons that we are not happy with our friend’s happiness is jealousy. He discusses the concept brought down from the Yarot DeVash (others quote it from Rav Yisrael Salanter) that when it comes to the laws of Shabbat, or meat and dairy, and the like, a person will ask Rabbi and do what he says. But when it comes to a Din Torah, when a person has a complaint against his friend about money, if he loses the case, he walks out all upset. He might even yell at the judge. What happened? He’s willing to lose $1,000 on a cow that was deemed unkosher, but he won’t give his friend $100? The answer is that it hurts him that his friend is gaining. That is the nature of a person. Tzar Eyin/ It is difficult to see someone else get. But if a person has true love for his friend, that means that his friend is really like himself, and therefore he won’t feel bad at all. He’s happy when his friend gets. That is obviously a high level, but it is a test to see whether we still have what to work on or not. Of course, Emuna has a part in this. The famous Ibn Ezra says that if a person really believed that he gets what he needs to get, and his friends get with he needs to get, it will never bother him. He continues, saying that a person should strive to reach the level that he loves everyone equally, whether the man smiles at him or makes his life difficult. He says that in this way, we act likeHashem. Hashem gives life to people even when He is angry at them, even when a person is doing all kinds of sins. So too, we have to love our friends regardless of how we feel about them. And if a person is still upset at his friend, he has not yet reached that level. Unless, he says, that this person has been deemed a Rasha , but that is a rarity. Therefore, in his words, the main thing in the mitzvah of loving your friend like you love yourself is that we have to treat everybody equally. Your love for people should not come from anything else but loving them as a Jew, because all Jews are created equal. Have a wonderful day.
As we mentioned yesterday, Rashi says that when a person gives money to the poor, it’s as if he built the Bet Hamikdash. The laws of giving to the poor, Leket, Shikcha and Pe’ah are brought in between the holidays of Shavuot and Rosh Hashana. The Meshech Chochma asks the following question: We know that God judges a person the way he is at that time. That is why God judges us during the daytime, while we are doing Mitzvot etc. So why does God judge us at the time of Rosh Hashanah? In ancient times, the Jewish people were an agricultural society. After Sukkot, after they planted and plowed, and waited for rain, learning and connecting to their Creator. Then, from Pesach until Succot, they were busy in the fields, cutting, harvesting, packing and drying, until Hag HaAsif. So why does God judge the people on Rosh Hashanah, when they have been out in the fields, neither learning nor connecting. Why not judge them at the time of the year of Pesach, when they’d just finished six months in the Bet Hamikdash? He answers based on a Gemara in Masechet in Bava Batra (11) which tells the story of Binyamin Hasadik, the Righteous Biyamin . It was during a time of famine, and he was in charge of the Kupat Sedaka / Charitable fund . A woman with 7 children came to him asking for help, but he apologized, telling her that fund had been depleted. She replied, “If you don’t take care of me, a lady and her seven children will die.“ So he took from his own money to help her. A little while later he got sick, and was going to die. The angels then went to Hashem and said, “ He gave life to this woman and her seven children, doesn’t he deserve life?“ And they added 21 years to his life. The Meshech Chochma asks, “ This man was named Binyamin HaSadik before this story. He was the Righteous Binyamin, meaning that he always did the right thing. So why did he need the story in order to save his life ?” The answer is that in order for a person to get life, it has to be measure for measure. By giving life to somebody, you get life back. That is why Binyamin Hasadik needed that act. The Meshech Chochma continues and says that when we give to the poor, specifically leket,shikcha and pe’ah , which is when the farmers just leave things out in the field with no idea who was taking it, after a hard season of working the land, of harvesting and cutting, and at every step of the way when they dropped something, they left it, or if they forgot it, someone took it, and they had to leave the corners… and they never had any idea who took it….that is giving life to somebody that you don’t know, who may not even deserve it.For this, God says, “ You gave them life, I will give you life.“ Therefore, the Meshech Chochmah says that Hashem chose to judge people on Rosh Hashanah, specifically because it comes out of the time of the year when people are giving the most charity. From here we see the need for Ahavat Yisrael, and the need for giving, because that is what brings out the zechuyot/merit. I’d like to add to this, based on what I see in my own community (and probably in many others). The summertime is always a time of fundraising and charitable events, whether they be parlor meetings, bake sales, appeals or drives in shul, The amount of giving is overwhelming. It seems to me that we don’t have an agricultural society today, but God cares about us, so He worked it into the system that there is a huge outpouring of charity before Rosh Hashanah. In that way, He gives us the opportunity to give to people that we don’t know, that we may not necessarily even think are deserving ( we should not have the attitude, has v’shalom, of judging collectors, wondering why the person is out collecting, rather than going to work). J When we give life to people, God gives life back. Have a wonderful day.
This past week’s parasha, Emor lists all the holidays. But in the middle of the list, after Shavuot, and before Rosh Hashanah, it inserts the topics of leket, shikcha and pe’ah , which are laws for the farmer harvesting his fields, namely, He has to leave a corner untouched for the poor, if he forgets bundles in the field, he has to leave them for the poor, and there are certain amounts that if he drops, he has to leave for the poor. Rashi, quoting from the Torat Kohanim, questions why the topic of food for the poor is inserted in a discussion of holidays. Rashi answers that from this we see a principle: Whoever gives food or money to the poor, it’s as if he built the Bet Hamikdash and brought all the Korbanot. In discussing the Bet Hamikdash and the Korbanot that are brought on the holidays, there is yet another way to bring a korban- by giving to the poor. (It is interesting that this topic is brought up near the holiday of Shavuot, and the rabbis say that it is a hint to the story of Megilat Ruth, as Ruth met Boaz through the gleanings) Rav Wolbe asks how we connect the Korbanot with the giving to the poor, if a korban is given to God, and giving to the poor is for a person. Rav Wolbe answers with a mashal : When a person is in a room with the windows shut, the shades down, and no light coming in, it’s dark. He can’t see anything . When he finally opens the window and some light comes in, he begins to see. Now he doesn’t only see people outside, he can see birds and flowers and everything. He says it is the same thing here: There are two kinds of people. One person‘s heart is closed, so he doesn’t see anything . He doesn’t see people and he doesn’t see God. The other person‘s heart is open, so he sees people and he sees God. When a person gives to the poor, that means his eyes are open. He is aware and sees the needs of people. When you see the needs of people, and you are concerned about them, then you will also see God. You will see that you owe God and that you need God, which brings you to bring a korban to Him. That is the connection between the two. There are two sides to the Ten Commandments: Man to God and Man to his fellow. The Mabit points out that there are many more words on the right side ( Man to God) than there are on the left (Man and his fellow). The ones on the left are mostly two words each: Don’t murder, Don’t covet, etc… On the other side is Shabbat, Avodah Zara…those are much longer. He says that if you look at the commandments, the ones on the right side were small print, and the ones that were on the left were large and bold. They filled up the page, so to say. Between man and man was like a size 40 font, and between man and God was like a size 10 font. The reason for this is that people need the laws of man-to-man to be bold and large. We don’t always focus on those, we don’t we realize that it’s a package deal. If you aren’t seeing your friends, then you really aren’t seeing God. You might be acting religious, you might be doing things that are seemingly religious, but your heart is closed. When your heart is open, you will have to see people as well. Have a wonderful day.
On page 290 of the Artscroll biography of Rav Pam, it says that the Gemara (Yoma 35b) tells us that after 120 years we are going to be judged. People will have all kinds of excuses for why they couldn’t do this or that, but the Gemara says that there are three great Rabbis that are going to obligate others. If someone says that he was too wealthy so he had no time to learn, we have Rabbi Eliezer ben Harsun, who was fabulously wealthy, and he obligates the rich. If someone says that he was very handsome and surrounded by beautiful people so he could not control his desires, Yosef HaSaddik, who resisted the enticement of Potiphar’s wife, will obligate those people. If someone says that they were poor, and because of their poverty they could not learn, Hillel, who suffered extreme poverty and climbed on top of the roof on a snowy day and almost froze to death in order to learn Torah will obligate the poor. Rav Pam added to that Gemara, quoting the Elder of Novardok that there is a moment in every person’s life, when he achieves something great, and that moment obligates him to maintain that level of achievement for the rest of his life. That means that you will obligate yourself. You might say that you can’t be nice to people because that is not your style- but what about the one time that you were nice? That will obligate you, because you do know how to do it. Of course, this doesn’t mean that we should avoid doing great things in order to avoid the obligation. God will see through that as well. What it means is that we have to do our best, and once we show ourselves what we are capable of, we have to live up to that. Rav Pam related that in his mind, he knew the moment in his life that obligated him for the rest of his life. It was when an elderly member of the Torah Vadaat minyan took ill and was hospitalized. Rav Pam was a Kohen, and so he could not visit the man, but he took the time to write him a letter. Although halachically, writing a letter does not fulfilled the mitzva of Bikur Holim, he wanted a man to know that he had been thinking of him. When man passed away shortly thereafter, Rav Pam was told that the man had kept the letter under his pillow, and whenever a visitor would enter his room, he would take out the letter and show them the letter that Rav Pam, the Rosh Yeshiva , had written to him. Rav Pam pointed out that a simple letter, which took only moments to write, had lifted the spirits of that sick man in a way that he had never imagined. This incident served as a lesson to him, of how seemingly insignificant acts, that take only a little bit of time, can result in great achievements. This obligated him to utilize such opportunities in the future. How Beautiful! Let us look back at our lives and see all the great moments, and B’Ezrat Hashem, keep it up. Have a wonderful day.
We continue with beautiful thoughts from Rav Pam, quoting from his sefer Atara L’Melech ( page 178): Rav Pam said that Whenever one is presented with an opportunity to do hessed, one should see the moment, for Hashem may be offering him a chance to attain a merit that is crucial for his destiny . He proves it from the story of Rachel. The Torah tells us in Bereshit (30,22) ויזכר אלקים את רחל And Hashem remembered Rachel. What did He remember? Rashi tells us from the Bereshit Rabba that Rachel was silent for her sister’s sake. When Lavan presented Yaakov with Leah instead of Rachel, Rachel knew but she remained silent. Therefore, Vayizkor Elokim, God remembered Rachel But the name Elokim usually means judgement . So Rachel deserved a child, because she selflessly allowed her sister to take her place under the marriage canopy. Rav Pam says that if we look at this with a different lens, Hashem actually did a kindness to Rachel. 14 years earlier, before Yosef’s birth, Hashem arranged an opportunity for Rachel to attain the merit that she needed, in order to miraculously bear a child and become one of the Imahot . How awesome would the loss be, had Rachel not seized the opportunity to do this kindness for her sister?! We may look at this as if simply, Rachel had a zechut/merit . But really, Hashem prepared that zechut for her, because she needed it in her zechut bank . Therefore, Rav Pam says that a person should always be very zealous whenever an opportunity for Hessed comes his way. He should realize that the ways of Hashem are hidden, and who knows if this opportunity is not actually a manifestation of Hashem‘s attribute of kindness towards him? You may think that you are doing the other fellow a favor, but Hashem is actually doing a kindness for you. As it says in Megilat Esther, the king held out his scepter and Esther touched the tip..Who knows if this chance to do a hessed is not Hashem reaching out His scepter to you, and giving you an opportunity to touch the tip? This is an important principle, that we have mentioned in the past. Any time a person has a chance to do a Hessed, he has to view it as an opportunity . Hashem just gave you an opportunity for zechut. A great man in our community once told me that every year, Hashem gives him a great opportunity to do kindness. There was a problem in Argentina that year, and he said, “ This year, Hashem gave me Argentina and I took on that project. ” And every year, he sees another opportunity that Hashem sends him. That is how we have to look at it, instead of, “ Oh no! Why do we keep on having these charity drives? Ukraine, but Matanot LaEvyonim… How many causes are there? How many parlor meetings are there?” Don’t look at it that way. Rather, ask yourself, “How many opportunities are there!” Seize the moment. Have a wonderful day.
There’s a famous story about Rav Chaim Brisker that teaches us how to view situations. A man once came to Rav Chaim before Pesach and asked him if one is allowed to fulfill the Mitzvah of the 4 cups with milk (Sometimes, for example in Havdala, if there is no wine, it is permitted to use other drinks of the country). The Rabbi answered that he could not substitute milk for the wine, and then gave him a large check (about $1,000). Later, Rav Chaim’s gabbai asked the Rabbi about this. The man had come to ask a question in Halacha. Why did he get such a large stipend for the holiday? Rav Chaim answered, “ If this man was asking to fulfill the mitzvah of the 4 cups with milk, then he obviously is not having any meat during the meal. And if he doesn’t have money for the wine, and he doesn’t have money for the meat, he is obviously in great need, and that’s why I gave him a large sum of money.” A great person doesn’t just focus on the specific question he is being asked; he is able to take a larger view. We see this about Rav Pam (page 284 of his biography): Late one Friday afternoon, a pediatrician in the Flatbush area received a phone call from a distraught mother of young children. She had recently given birth and was experiencing difficulty with the baby’s feeding habits and schedule. She called to ask if, given the circumstances, she could rely on certain leniencies regarding the laws of Shabbat, which could be beneficial to the baby. The doctor replied that while he understood her situation, his domain was medical advice. For Halacha, he told her she would have to ask a rabbi. The woman was clearly agitated and said she did not know whom to call. “Try Ram Pam,“ the doctor advised. An hour went by, and the doctor phoned the woman to see how she was faring. This time, she was fully composed and in very good spirits. The doctor asked her what had happened. “I took your advice and called Rav Pam. He said that he could not answer me on the spot, and would be in touch with me soon. Ten minutes later, the doorbell rang, and Rav Pam’s granddaughter was standing there with a friend. They had come to help me with my Shabbat preparations. One girl bathed the children while the other helped me in the kitchen. Later on, Rav Pam called to ask me how everything was going, and to say that the halacha did not permit the leniency which I had asked about. But by that time, everything was fine and I knew that I could manage without relying on those leniencies.” That is a great story! How many times does a person get asked a question, and only focus on the detail? Rav Pam put himself into the situation, realized what the woman needed, sent over his granddaughter and a friend, and fixed the whole situation! That is true Ahavat Yisrael, and these are the stories that we have to learn from. Have a wonderful day
We continue with beautiful stories from Rav Pam’s biography. On page 274, it mentions one of his discourses, in which Rav Pam quotes the Avot D’Rebi Natan that says when a person displays the whiteness of his teeth to his friend it is better than if he gives him milk to drink, “ As the pasuk says, ולבן שנים מחלב The simple meaning of this is that his teeth are white from milk , But the deeper meaning is that when you show a man the white of your teeth, which is your smile, that is better than serving him milk. The Avot D’Rebi Natan says this means that even if a person can’t give his friend anything tangible, if he greets him pleasantly, it’s as if he has given him all the gifts in the world. Rav Pam expounds, saying that the ability to do Hessed is not limited to people with time and money. A person can do Hessed with a smile or friendly word. With a little time and effort, one can pull a sad person out of his troubled mood. And the opposite is also true: walking around with an unhappy face can cause others pain. Like Rav Yisrael Salanter said, “ Your heart is Reshut HaYachid/ private property, but your face is Reshut Harabim/ public property. What your face emanates impact the people around you. You are allowed to dig a pit in your own house, if you’d like, because it is your own private property, but you can’t dig a pit in a public property. Rav Yisrael Salanter explains that, so too, your face is public property. He quotes from Sefer Yereim, a Rishon (chapter 21), which says, “ Just as it is forbidden to inflict pain with sharp, critical words, it is forbidden to hurt others with a sour expression.” Your face says a lot, and what emanates from your face has a great effect on people. We have to greet everyone B’Sever Panim Yafot / with a smile. Rav Wolbe said that his father- in-law, Rav Avraham Grodzensky spent months working on this concept of greeting people with a smile. Look in the mirror and smile until you see a smile that you want to greet other people with. A smile doesn’t cost any money, and it doesn’t take any time, but with it, you are accomplishing great things. You are doing Hessed with your smile! What a wonderful concept. Have a wonderful day.
We continue with beautiful lessons of Ahavat Yisrael from Rabbi Pam. On page 273 of the Artscroll biography, it says, Rabbi Aharon Walkin, a Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivat Ohel Simcha related the following story, which inspired him so much that he made Rav Pam his mentor: A Yeshiva student was expelled for having committed an infraction which was foolish and reflected immaturity. His father, a distinguished Talmid hacham, was distraught and pleaded with the administrators of the Yeshiva to give his son one more chance, but it was to no avail. Rabbi Walkin, whose advice the father had sought, suggested that Rav Pam might be willing to speak to the administration , and that he would probably have the best chance of convincing them to rescind their decision. An appointment was made and the father, accompanied by Rabbi Walkin, went to see Rav Pam. The father explained the situation with great emotion. He said that his son was approaching marriageable age and the expulsion could do great harm to his future, and it would also stain the family’s reputation. Rav Pam began to cry. His caring heart could not bear to see a father suffering this way. After he calmed down somewhat, he asked the father for the Yeshiva‘s phone number. The father’s face brightened, “Does that mean that the Rosh Yeshiva will be able to do something for me?“ he asked. Rav Pam replied, “If they listen to me, I can do something. The truth is, I don’t think they are going to listen, but I must try. I must. “ Years later, Rabbi Walkin reminded Rav Pam of this incident, and Rav Pam said, “ One must act, even if he won’t accomplish. One must always try even if the doors are closed”. Rav Pam proved this from the famous Midrash that says that Iyov was one of Paroah’s advisers, and when Paroah took council from his three advisors as he plotted to enslave the Jews, Bilam said to go ahead, Yitro ran away and Iyov remained silent. The reason he remained silent was that he did not think that his words would have any impact, so why say something? So why was he punished? Rav Pam says that it is because one must not sit quiet and idle in the face of another’s pain. This is an important rule. There are no coincidences. Someone recently asked my wife to try and help get her child into a certain school. My wife has been trying and calling, and trying and calling. Eventually, I told her to stop, because it didn’t seem to be making a difference. But my wife obviously has the Rav Pam upbringing, and so she keeps trying. Now I see that she is right. You have to keep trying. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like you are going to get anywhere, but if someone is in pain and they need help, it is your job to try. This is a beautiful concept that we should all take to heart. When people ask us for favors, whether it is getting a son into yeshiva, getting a house, or making a shidduch, you might think, “ Come on! There is no way they will ever agree to go out with that girl ( or boy)!” But if they ask you, do it anyway. Try. I can give countless examples of where I have failed in this area, but hopefully, going forward, I will get better at it. Have a wonderful day.
We continue with great quotes of Ahavat Yisrael from Rabbi Pam. On page 20 of the Artscroll biography, it says, “ Once, somebody came to speak to Rav Pam in yeshiva after the Mincha prayers. Rav Pam was obviously busy, so the person said, “Perhaps the Rosh Yeshiva does not have time now.“ Rav Pam replied, “One never has time, but one must make time when it comes to helping someone else. If you don’t make time, you will never have time, because people are always busy.” It is beautiful to see how Rav Pam practiced these concepts. On page 277, it says, “ When Rav Pam was observing the year of mourning following his mother’s passing, he would go to weddings for a few minutes to wish the groom Mazal Tov and give his blessings before the Chupah/ceremony. There were some weeks when this was a nightly occurrence, and on some nights he went to more than one wedding. One of the other Roshei Yeshiva asked him , “ It is such an effort for you to go to these weddings. People know that you are a mourner and can only stay for a short while. Must you take the time every night just to say Mazal Tov? “ Rav Pam’s answer was, “ For me it is every night, but for the chatan it is once in his life.“ We might be busy, and we might have a lot to do, but for a moment, let us peer into the recipient’s life, and see what it means to him, in his life. Yes we have a lot of functions to go to, and there are nonstop occasions. But for the person that is involved in the occasion, it is his only occasion. Rav Pam was a Kohen. His student’s father was once in the hospital but Rav Pam was uncomfortable entering the hospital, because, as a Kohen, he to be careful near dead bodies, and he was not exactly sure what the set up was in that specific hospital. So although he was unable to visit, he figured out a solution. He told his student to arrange a time when this man could come to the window of his second-story room, and Rav Pam would greet him from the street below. That is what they did, and in this way, he was able to provide comfort for the man. We can see from this that Rav Pam spent a lot of his time on short but impactful exchanges with people, realizing what that impact was. Of course, he was a busy man. He was a Rosh Yeshiva,. He had a lot to learn, and a lot to do. But he found time. Because, like he himself said, “ If you don’t make time, you will never have time. Because people are always busy. “ That is a powerful line. Have a wonderful day.
The best way to learn Ahavat Yisrae l is from our role models, the great Gedolim , so we continue to share their inspiring stories. In Artscroll’s book about Rav Pam, it says (page 270): The phone once rang in his home soon after Shabbat ended. Rav Pam was obviously distressed as he listened to the caller. The individual was experiencing personal problems and felt very much alone. Rav Pam banged on the table as one would, to expressed anguish upon hearing of a tragedy.“No, no, no!” He declared, “How can you say that you have no friends? I am your friend.” This is an important concept; to give over the feeling- to people that might not be your friends, or on your social level- that you really are their friend. In another story (page 276), it says that during their years in East New York, the Pams were acquainted with Benny L., a high functioning, developmentally disabled individual who lived alone. At that time, Benny spoke with Rav Pam either on the phone or in person on an almost daily basis. In 1984 the Pams were instrumental in having Benny accepted into a Women’s League community residence for Jewish men like himself. From that time, Benny’s days were more productive and he only had time to speak with Rav Pam occasionally. Upon hearing the news of Rav Pam‘s passing, Benny called the Women’s League main office and told them, “I lost my best friend, Rabbi Pam. Now I have pain in my heart.“ Rav Pam was able to make person who was developmentally disabled feel like he was his friend. That is a huge accomplishment, and it is something that should speak to us. We have that opportunity, with people that are not developmentally disabled. Rav Pam wrote in his own sefer, Atara L’Melech, “ Our world is a world of opportunity. You can take advantage. There are simple people, to whom others pay no attention. They do not greet these people nor do they inquire as to their well-being or enter into conversation with them.“ We all know people that are not in our social echelons. We might just pass them by, but, he writes, “ When someone pays attention to such people, and relates to them in a friendly way, they feel honored and derive tremendous pleasure from this.“ This is an opportunity that we all have. He quotes the Rambam that says, “ A Talmid hacham extends greetings to all, so that they will find him pleasing.” It is our job to make people feel pleased by our presence. He goes on to say that there are others who are sad and dispirited. When someone uses his mind to speak to their hearts me lessens their pain, he has performed a great kindness. He says that sometimes when someone has worries, and you lend an ear to their worries you bring them relief. The listening itself is a healing for the soul. We all have opportunities to connect with people and take them out of their loneliness or sadness. Rav Pam was a role model of this character trait, which he wrote about in his own sefer, and we should be emulating him Have a wonderful day.
This time of year, more so than the rest of the year, we are all supposed to feel like brothers. While this is a very important concept, we don’t always relate it to people from other countries, communities synagogues or yeshivot. We tend to identify more with people like ourselves. The Artscroll book about Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel discusses a sad event that took place in Mirrer Yeshiva in the 1990s. I was there at the time and remember it. There was a British boy who was new to the Yeshiva. He had only been there for a few months when, one day during first Seder, he told his havruta that he had to use the restroom. He didn’t return and was missing until the next morning when he was found in the restroom. Apparently, he’d had a heart attack or some other sudden event and passed away in a very tragic way. A few days later, while everyone was still in shock, Rav Nosson Tzvi addressed the talmidim and quoted a Gemarah that says, “ If one of the brothers pass away, all the brothers should be worried. One if the members of the group passes away, the entire group has to be concerned. Lo Alenu, if one of a group passes way , it means that, has v’shalom , there was a judgement on the whole group. He said, “ One of our chaburah passed, so we have to take this to heart. We have to be concerned, we have to do to Teshuva.” Then he paused and said, You might think to yourself, “ This was a British boy who just came to Yeshiva. What does this have to do with me? I didn’t even know him. But if a boy has been in Yeshiva for 2 and 1/2 months and you didn’t know him, that’s a bigger reason to worry. And if you say to yourself that you don’t consider him a part of the Haburah, Woe- you must worry!! He explained that if you don’t feel concerned, , or feel that he has nothing to do with you, you have an even bigger concern- to think a fellow Jew in your Yeshiva has nothing to do with you! This is an important point that we must constantly reiterate. Brooklyn, Deal, Israel, Boro Park, Hasid, Sephardi… we are all one nation, with one Father. If we don’t feel that, there is something to be worried about. B’ezrat Hashem, we will feel it. Have a wonderful day.
There was a great, world famous Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel, the Rosh Yeshiva of Mir in Yerushalayim. Many of us may remember meeting or seeing him. In the Artscroll book about his life, they quote one of the Roshei Yeshiva, Rav Binyamin Finkel, who is affectionately known as Binyamin HaSadik, the Righteous Binyamin , who explained the theme behind Mir Yeshiva under the guidance of Rav Nosson Tzvi. He brought down that Chazal say that at the Yam Suf, there were twelve tracks for the twelve tribes to go through. But it says that Hashem made the walls between the tracks transparent, so that the members of each tribe could see each other and feel that they were part of the overall nation. Hashem kept the balance of maintaining their identity, while at the same time making sure they were all a part of Klal Yisrael. He said that in the Mirrer Yeshiva, Rav Nosson Tzvi wanted to make everybody feel like they were comfortable and at home, so he had minyanim with different nusachot , and he would sometimes visit the nusach sfard minyan. But when it came to learning, everybody had to be together. That was the beauty of the Mirrer Yeshiva. People came from five continents, and whether they were Israeli, American, European, Sefardi Ashkenazi, Lithuanian, or Hasidim, everybody learned together, regardless of their language or dialect. During one of the Chanukah gatherings, Rav Nosson Tzvi interrupted his speech to ask a personal favor. He asked each person to turn to his right, and to his left, shake that person‘s hand, say Shalom Alechem, and ask him his name. When people are at a gathering of thousands, they don’t necessarily know the names of the people they are sitting next to, but he wanted everybody to constantly feel comfortable and neighborly, so he enforced the concept of being outward with a stranger. In order to ensure that the talmidim wouldn’t feel sheepish about fulfilling his request, the entire hanhala/staff, seated at the head table, also heeded the Rav’s request and turned to one another and shook each other’s hands. Rav Chaim Shmulevitz, the prior Rosh Yeshiva, is credited with starting this sentiment. He would say, as we have quoted from the Pele Yoetz and Sefer Hinuch, that “ Love the convert doesn’t only refer to newcomers to Judaism, but newcomers to a Yeshiva or country as well.” Love the stranger. They instilled this feeling in the Yeshiva, so that when someone new came in, they would feel comfortable and welcomed. He strove to maintain the feeling that yes, we all might have our own customs, but at the same time, we all belong to the Jewish people, in keeping with the beautiful image of the 12 tracks going through the sea with transparent walls, so that we would see each other and feel a part of the whole. Have a wonderful day.
We have discussed the custom of putting the key in the Challah many times, and people still alway ask what the story is. This year I gave a class to a seminary on this topic, in a more concise fashion, which I will share: Many people have the custom (it’s a custom of Hasidic origin and definitely not a halacha) to place a key in their Challah for the Shabbat immediately after Pesach. Some people say this custom comes from copying the Goyim , which is not proper to say about great Hasidic rebbes. Women bake and are Mafrish challah, and put a key in it when they bake it, the first Shabbat after Pesach. We have three basic questions about this: 1- Why this Shabbat? It’s always a Mitzvah to take challah. 2- Why the key? 3- Why put the key in the bread ? Firstly, we have to understand that the Gemarah tells us we are judged four times over the year. -On Rosh Hashana people are judged, -On Pesach we are judged on the grain, -On Shavuot we are judged on the fruit, and -On Succot we are judged on the water. Each one of these has a Mitzvah to bring blessing in that judgement We bring the Korban HaOmer, which is a grain offering of barley, to bring blessing in the grain, We bring fruits/ Bikurim to bring blessing to the fruit, and we libate water to bring blessing to the rain. So we do a mitzvah to bring blessing to each one of those areas. Why the Korban HaOmer specifically? What’s the message of that? The Korban is comprised of a barley grain, and the amount of the offering is a measurement called an Omer (approximately 3 lbs). It’s odd that the Korban was called Korban HaOmer , because it was made out of barley. Imagine a cake that you make on Passover, like an apple crisp, that you bake in a 12 inch baking pan. Do you call it Apple Crisp or would you call it the “ 12 Inch Baking Pan Cake? ” You would call it an Apple Crisp. So why is it called Korban Ha Omer , and why is Sefirat Ha Omer also named for a measurement ? The answer is that there is a special significance to that measurement: There are three times the Torah mentions the measurement of an Omer. The first is in reference to the mann that God sent for 40 years in the desert. Some people gathered a lot and it shrunk down to an Omer , and some people gathered a little and it came to an Omer . Whether you added or subtracted, Hashem showed you that you are getting what you are supposed to get. The Omer was the measurement that God provided for 40 years in the desert. He decided how much we were supposed to get. And it was an Omer . So when we hear the word Omer it reminds us of the message that God provides for us now, as He provided for us in the desert. The second reference is that every year, at the beginning of the grain season, they used to bring a Korban, to say “ We no longer see open miracles, we are working in our fields, but we want to retain that same message that God provides.” So the Korban Ha Omer was in order to remind us of the Omer of Mann . The third reference to an Omer is the Mitzvah from the Torah, given to the women in the times of the Bet HaMikdash, in Israel. When a women made an Omer worth of dough, she had to separate some and give it to the Kohen. This was for the same reason: to remind the woman in her kitchen of the Omer measurement of mann . Just like the mann came from heaven and God controlled that, God is in your kitchen. The man had the message that God is with him in the field, with the Omer’s worth of barley at Korban HaOmer at the time of Pesach, and the woman had a message with her Omer worth of dough in her baking. Since the Bet HaMikdash was destroyed we lost the Korban Omer. What is the next best thing, to send a message at this time of year, that we believe that God is in charge of our sustenance? The Challah, which is also an Omer reminder. Thus, the custom became that this Shabbat is an opportune time for women to make challah and be mafrish challah- to give that message. Of course, every week,the challah is there to remind us of the mann . We have two loaves of bread, to remind us of the double portion of the mann that came down on Friday for Shabbat. So we have a built-in automatic reminder of the mann in the Lechem Mishne , and we have a mann reminder every time a woman makes challah, if she’s thinking, and understands that the challah is there to remind us of the mann , and that God sustains us. In the times of the Bet HaMikdash, a piece was given to the Kohen, because he is God’s man, and God told us to give to him. We have to realize that it is God’s dough, and He tells who to give it to. This answers two out of three of our questions. Number one was why this week? And the answer is, because it’s the first opportunity to bake after Pesach. And now we know why we use challah- because it reminds us of the Omer . Now we can answer our third question: Why do we use a key? This goes back to the story of Eliyahu Hanavi. The Gemara in Masechet Sanhedrin (113) explains that Eliyahu prayed to G-d to entrust with him the key to rainfall. As the Gemara teaches us elsewhere (Taanit 2), there are three "keys" which G-d holds for himself, but may, on occasion, entrust to a prophet. Eliyahu was given the key to rainfall, and he turned off the rain, so-to-speak, declaring a drought upon the Land of Israel for 3 years, because they were worshiping idols. G-d then instructed Eliyahu to move to a place called Tzorfat, where he would find a widow who would support him. Sure enough, Eliyahu found a poor widow in Tzorfat, and requested something to eat. The woman swore to Eliyahu that she had nothing other than a small bit of flour and small jug of oil, which she was going to use to bake something for her and her son to eat, expecting that afterward they would die of starvation. Eliyahu assured the woman that the small supply of flour and oil would miraculously last until G-d would again bring rain and cause the land to produce food. However, he told her that she must first give him some of the bread she was baking, before she or her son ate. Indeed, a miracle occurred and the widow's supply of flour and oil was never depleted. The Rabbis explain that Eliyahu was a kohen, and he instructed the woman to first give him a portion of her food, in order to fulfill the mitzva of Challah. He knew that the merit of this mitzva would bring a miracle. By giving Challah to Eliyahu, she gained access to the key to parnasa, which he held, and thereby secured her livelihood. So we see that one of the ways to connect to the key of parnasa is through Hafrashat Challah. Therefore, in order to remind God of the concept that giving challah brings the blessing of the key of parnassa, we put the key inside the Challah. So that’s why we put the key in. Hafrashat challah has 2 points: 1-It reminds us of the Omer, 2-It reminds us of the key to Parnassa, so we put the key in the bread. But it is all really one message. The message is that what brings you beracha is realizing that God sustains you, takes care of you, and is in charge of you. That is what brings blessing. If you just think that you’re just going to go to the bakery and buy bread with a key in it, and that will bring you a beracha, that is a little off. Maybe when people scream that this is a bad custom, this is what they are referring to. It is a bad custom, if you just take the external and don’t know what is going on. It is a wonderful custom to take challah every week, because of the important mitzvah, and the important lesson that God sustains us. This is why we separate challah this week, and why we put the key in. Have a great day and a Shabbat Shalom.
There is a beautiful story about Rav Moshe Feinstein, with an explanation given by the Mashgiach of his Yeshiva on the Lower East Side, Rabbi Michel Birnbaum: He says that Rav Naftali Amsterdam was a student of Rav Yisrael Salanter. He once asked Rabbi Yisrael for advice about a disagreement that he had with his wife, based on the fact that his wife was insisting that it was time that he bought himself a new suit, while Rav Naftali felt that such a purchase was unnecessary. Rabbi Yisrael replied that there is a level of where one understands the need for a given item, and sees to it that someone else has that item. For example, if I think you need a coat, I buy you a coat. Then there is a higher level of Hessed where one provides somebody with something that he personally sees no need for at all. For example, your friend may think that he needs suspenders, and while you see no need for them, you get them for him anyway. The following story relates to this concept: One Shabbat morning Rav Moshe Feinstein was on his way out of shul. He put his on coat, and as he was walking toward the door, a man stopped Rabbi Moshe, and said something to him. Rabbi Moshe then took his coat off, sat down at a table made a beracha on a piece of cake, ate half the cake, and left. On the way home, his student asked Rabbi Moshe what that was all about. Rabbi Moshe explained that the man was a Hasidic Jew. Hasidim have a custom called Shira’im , whereby they sit by their Rebbe’s table on Friday night. The Rebbe eats from the meal and gives leftovers to his Hasidim. They believe that there is something special about eating the leftover food that the Rebbe ate from. Rav Moshe Feinstein was of Lithuanian descent, and this was definitely not a Lithuanian custom or belief. Nonetheless, Rabbi Moshe explained, “ That Hasidic Jew came over and asked me if I would eat a piece of the cake, so that he could take some of the leftovers. So although it wasn’t my custom, it was his custom. I did not want to disturb his happiness on Shabbat, so I took the piece of cake and made him happy.” What a great concept! Quite often, we look at people and we think that their needs are silly. We don’t think it is our job to fulfill their crazy needs. If you have a son-in-law, for example, who decides that he only wants organic tomatoes, you may think that’s crazy, but if that is what makes him happy, that is what you do. That is the higher level of Hessed, it is a wonderful concept that was taught and Rav Moshe actually lived. Have a wonderful day.
We have been talking about the concept that, during Sefirat HaOmer, we have to work on our love for our fellow man, and on our Middot. The Chida asks an age old question. The Dayenu that we say in the Haggadah lists 15 things, such as: If God took us out of Egypt, and did not punish the Egyptians…, that would have been enough. It would have been fine if they weren’t punished. And each one of those Dayenus , on their own, is something that is worthy of saying thank you for. But one of the Dayenus that we say is, “ אלו קרבנו לפני הר סיני …. Ilu Kervanu Lifne Har Sinai/If You brought us close to Har Sinai, but You didn’t give us the Torah, Dayenu.” That is hard to understand. It’s like saying, “If you brought me to the restaurant, but you didn’t serve me any food, that would’ve been enough. But if you didn’t get any food, why is it worth it to sit in the restaurant? Coming to Har Sinai is very nice, but without the Torah, we weren’t served anything. The Chida answers that we see from here that there was obviously something great that happened before the meal . Actually coming to the restaurant did some thing to us. Maybe the restaurant has nice hors d’oeuvres that you get before the meal., Maybe there’s a nice aroma in the restaurant. Maybe there’s a nice ambience. So too, just being at Har Sinai did something to us. It cleansed us. It purified us, and made us into better people, which enabled us to receive the Torah. And every year this repeats itself. We are going through a process called Kervanu Lifne Har Sinai. We have to appreciate that. And , of course, we have to do our own work. The rabbis tell us, of the days of Sefirat HaOmer, that we get a surge on the night of Pesach, when God lifted us up. Then He brings us back down to earth, and we have to work on and earn it through our own work over the next 49 days, which we are currently in the middle of. It’s all about character perfection, working on our Middot, and getting ourselves ready to receive the Torah. But we get help. God helps us during these times, just like He helped us then. I heard a beautiful thought from Rabbi Avraham Schorr, in his Hagaddah shel Pesach . He says that we usually read “ Ilu Kervanu LHar Sinai, to mean “If He brought us close to Har Sinai, ” but he reads it as, “ If You brought the people close to each other in front of Har Sinai.” This process brings us together, the process of making the Jewish people join and come together. That is what we are supposed to be working on during these days. Each person has to do his own introspection on what separates him, and what will help unite him. This has to be our focus during these days; Kervanu / Bringing us close, before Har Sinai. Have a wonderful day.
Today we will quote from Rav Chaim Palaggi’s sefer Moed L’Kol Chai ( section 6 letter 13): “ Love for your friend is important at all times. It should be a love that comes from your heart and soul, not something external. Especially during the days between Pesach and Shavuot, we have to act with love and extra endearment… Then he goes on to make the following proclamation (and he lived until the age of 93, and therefore had much life experience); ומעיד אני שמים וארץ דבכל מקום שמצינו קנאה ושנאה בין אחים או שותפים ומה גם בתלמידים ומשרתי הקהל הקדוש, דיש בהם קנאת איש מרעהו וכל אחד רוצה להפיל לחבירו ולהתכבד בקלונו לא יצאו נקיים רחמנא ליצלן, I testify to the Heaven and Earth, that any time there is jealousy or hatred between brothers, partners, students or people that serve the community, where there is an opportunity for jealousy, or when people may want to put down another organization or group in order to get respected at the cost of the other one’s downfall, they did not go out clean. And then, not wanting to end on a negative note, he adds, ומרובה מדה טובה בכל המקום אשר ביניהם אהבה וחיבה מלב ומנפש האריכו ימים ושנים ובהצלחה מרובה גם בניהם עדי עד, ועיין בספר לב דוד פרק ל' מה שכתב מוסר ודעת בענין אהבת החברים יעוין שם, ובחמ"י פרק שני מספירת העומר יעוין שם: But if I tell you that I saw negativity coming out from arguments and dissension from within partners, brothers or among community organizations, how much more so do we have to have love and endearment in the heart and soul. Those people that work on getting along live long lives with much success, and their children as well. Rav Palaggi does not want to dwell on the negative that he saw, he wants to dwell on the positive. And of course, we have to work on this all year, but the stress is especially during these days. Sefirat HaOmer is dedicated to this. As we have mentioned before, it is not enough that we don’t shave or go to weddings or keep whatever other customs of mourning we have for the deaths of Rabbi Akiva’s students, it’s also about the lessons and take-aways. And this take- away is one of love and extra endearment. That is what has to be on our mind during these days, toward every Jew. Rav Palaggi uses a term, וחיבה יתרה נודעת/ the endearment has to be known He borrowed this term from Pirkei Avot, where it says this about God and the Jewish people, It’s not enough that God looks at us like children, but He announced it “Bnei Bechori Yisrael. My son, My Bechor, Yisrael.” Rav Chaim Palaggi is telling us that over these days, we should go out of way to let this endearment be known. This is always an important concept. Rabbi Ades speaks about this a lot. It’s not enough to love your children, you have to tell them that you love them. It’s not enough to love your spouse, you have to say that you love your spouse. And this is true for your siblings and everybody else. And it’s the same with endearment. Show your endearment. The Pele Yoetz says that if you have the money, from time to time, give people gifts. Show them that you love them. It doesn’t have to be expensive. A card goes a very long way. Although I am used to getting emails, somebody recently sent me a very nice Thank You card in the mail. It was so nice. וחיבה יתרה נודעת Let the endearment be known That is our job during these days.
We are now in the days of Sefirat HaOmer. We are not yet actually commemorating the deaths of the students of Rabbi Akiva because it is still the holidays, but once the holidays are over, there are no weddings or music etc. depending on your customs. For some time over these 49 days, we all mourn the deaths of the students of Rabbi Akiva. They died, as we know, because they didn’t respect each other properly. On that, the Kaf HaChaim says, All that we do is in order to remind ourselves to stay away from hatred, jealousy, desire, arrogance and honor. And to acquire the traits of love, humility and peace. In other words, it’s not enough to merely refrain from shaving, haircuts, music and weddings. The point is to actually remember what caused the students of Rabbi Akiva to pass on, which was the lack of respect that they had toward each other. The Kaf HaChaim continues, “ Therefore, the Arizal writes, ‘How careful people that learn together have to be, with the concept of loving each other.’” This Arizal isn’t found in the laws of Sefirat HaOmer , it’s found in Birchot Hashachar. We discussed it at the beginning of this series, when we spoke about the concept of saying that you accept upon yourself the Mitzvah of Ve’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/ to love your friends i n the morning prayers. When discussing this concept, the Arizal writes that each person should have in mind to love each of the Jewish people, like his soul. In this way, his prayers will go up better, but it applies especially to the people that he learns with. This is true for all year, but the Kaf HaChaim brings it down during Sefirat HaOmer , because as we prepare to receive the Torah, we have to have to proper middot . In his words, “ Every one of his friends has to be like his own limb.” This refers to people that are together in a certain shul or group. “E specially if he knows something about his friend, if his friend is in sorrow, they all have to be partners in his pain. Whether it’s regarding an illness, a problem with his children… they should pray for him.” That is what we should be doing during these days of Sefirat HaOmer, “ Every prayer you have.” And, as Chaim Vital writes about the Arizal, “ My master warned me a lot to get along with my group.” This is extremely important. All year you should have this in mind in Birchot Hashachar when you say, “ I accept upon myself the Mitzvah of V’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha…” But the Kaf HaChaim says that it’s especially important at this time of year, when we are mourning the passing of the students of Rabbi Akiva, people who were learning together and weren’t careful. The point of our mourning isn’t just to mourn, but to actually strengthen ourselves in this area. Have a wonderful day and a Hag Sameach.
In the Haggadah shel Pesach, we quote a pasuk that says, “ God saw our suffering,” and we quote a pasuk in Shemot 2,25: וַיַּ֥רְא אֱלֹקים אֶת־בְּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל וַיֵּ֖דַע אֱלֹהִֽים God saw Bnei Yisrael, and God knew And Rashi says, “ God placed His heart and did not ignore with His eyes. The heart and the eyes are the two ways we are aroused. We see things and we feel moved with our emotions and our hearts. The Bet Yisrael, one of the Gerrer Rebbes, is quoted by Rabbi Schorr in his Hagaddah shel Pesach. He says that the beginning of the Galut started with the clogging of the eyes and the hearts of the Jewish people. And Rashi describes why in Parashat Vayechi , there is no space between the end of one Parasha and the beginning of another, which is called a Parasha Situma/ a Clogged Parasha. It’s because when Yaakov Avinu died, ” Nistemu Einehem V’Libam/their eyes and hearts became clogged,” because of the exile and difficulties since Yaakov Avinu died. And the beginning of the Geula/redemption started when Moshe Rabbenu went out and saw their suffering … Rashi says he placed his eyes and his heart to feel bad. And Moshe Rabbenu’s eyes and heart aroused God’s ‘ eyes and heart.’ What does it mean that the Jewish eyes and hearts were clogged at the beginning of Galut? Rabbi Schorr explains that every Jew has a natural Eyin Tova/ He looks with a good eye at his friends. But when his eye is clogged , it means that he is not able to look at things in the right way. He doesn’t feel his brother’s pain because he is in so much pain. When the Galut started, they weren’t able to feel each other’s pain because they were too focused on their own pain. Bilam, who had an evil eye, was called Stum HaEyin/His eye was clogged. When it says that the Jewish people’s eyes were clogged , it means that they didn’t cry for their friends; they hearts weren’t torn over their problems. And a sign of the Geula is when we get our eyes and hearts back again, and we are able to feel the pain of others. That’s the beginning of the redemption. It happens down here, with our feelings. When we feel the pain of others, that arouses God to feel the pain of the Jewish people at large. Rabbi Schorr continues and says that only 1/5th of the Jewish people got out of Mitzrayim. The other 4/5ths died during the three days of darkness. He quotes from the Siftei Sadik, “ Those who do not feel bad and worried about their friends problems, and weren’t part of the general group, were not redeemed. Because the condition of redemption was to partner up with the pain of others, to pray for them and do what we can to help them . To be alive and awake with feelings of what we can do to help people that are in trouble spiritually and physically.“ That is Ahavat Yisrael, and that feeling is what arouses God’s feelings. B’ezrat Hashem , we should feel the pain of others. It’s not enough to say that someone is sick in my family. I have to feel bad for others that are sick as well. I can’t just be stuck in my own problems.I have to realize there are things going on outside of my own world, and open up to the world of others. Have a wonderful day.
The Maharal of Prague, the great rabbi who is well known for making a Golem , says in his sefer Gevurat Hashem, that the reason Hashem chose the Jewish people to be His is that, “ Because God is One, He chose a nation that is also one.” What an unbelievable line. We are considered a nation that is united. We say Atah Echad V’Shimcha Echad, God is One and His name is One, and Mi K’Amcha Yisrael/ Who is like the Jewish people, Goy Echad B’Aretz, One nation That is why we chose the Korban Pesach, and there are beautiful lessons in it: -It was roasted as a whole sheep on the spit. They took a whole sheep, put a long pole made of pomegranate wood through it, and roasted it like we make shawarma on a rotisserie. It was whole in order to send the message that the Jewish people are united. -The sheep had to be one year old (not two), in order to symbolize the singularity of the Jewish nation. -It was small, and quotes the Midrash in Vayikrah that says “ The Jewish people are compared to a sheep.” -About the sheep it is said, “If one limb hurts, the whole sheep hurt s. It’s not exactly clear why this is true for a sheep more than any other animal, but it indicates unity. - The sheep is often referred to as “ Seh Tamim/Complete, one. -It’s prepared by roasting. When you cook something, it falls into pieces, but when it’s roasted, it’s the opposite. It comes together, which, again, indicates the unity of the Jewish people. -Finally, the Maharal adds a bitachon point as well. We eat the Pesach, and then we have a sandwich of Matzot and Maror, in order to remember the way they did it in the Bet HaMikdash with Hillel. The sheep represents the Jewish people, the Matzah is the symbol that we were freed (we were rushed out) and the Maror represents the bad times. We want to show that both the Matzah and the maror come from one God. Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokenu Hashem Echad . The good and the bad both come from one God. So, in that Pesach sandwich, we are saying that there is one God, and one Jewish people. And God dwells in one Jewish nation. That is why we need to work on achdut/unity. The more we are a singular, unified nation, the more God dwells in us. Have a wonderful day.
The sefer Shirat David, on the Haggadah Shel Pesach, brings down a fascinating Midrash that asks: If the Jewish people are so dear to God, why did He put them into Egypt ? They quote Rav Hanina as saying that Hashem was concerned that Yaakov Avinu had four wives. Leah and Rachel were considered the main wives, and Bilha and Zilpa were considered secondary wives. They were called Shifha s because they were really given over as maid-servants, So they and their children weren’t given the proper respect or treated equally, and that bothered Hashem. They were not treated as brothers of the same status. As a pasuk in Shir HaShirim says, Hashem said, “ You are all beautiful, My beloved one.” In order that the maid servants and their sons should be treated equally, God had this idea: He would take them all down to Egypt, they would all be slaves, “ And then, when I redeem them, they will come to the Seder night and say, ‘Avadim Hayinu L’Paroah/ We were slaves to Paroah…’ they will all be equal.” That is the goal of Yetziat Mitzrayim: There should be no class system among the Jewish people. There should be no elite. We are all one nation- regardless of what nationality or tribe you come from, regardless of how you arrived in the country that you are in, whether you are called foreigners, newcomers , immigrants, or whether you came by boat or airplane…. I am not using specific names because every community has their own class system…And that is not what Hashem wants. The goal of Yetziat Mitzrayim is that we don’t point at somebody else and say, “He is a slave,” because we are all slaves. We are all immigrants. We are all strangers. And therefore, do not look down at anybody, based on his last name, his accent, or the country that he came from. Have a wonderful day.
This is our last thought on Ahavat Yisrael before the Seder tonight. When say Ha Lachma Anya, we invite the guests in and tell them that this is the bread of affliction. Why do we have to announce this to them? Why can’t we just invite the guests and let them sit down and go through Ma Nishtana? Why explain that this is the bread of affliction? The Hida gives an unbelievable explanation. There is a Mishna in Masechet Bava Metzia that tells the story of a rabbi named Yochanan ben Matya, who told his son to go out and hire workers. But when the son hired them, he promised them lunch. His father told him that they were trouble now, because Once you offer to make them a meal, even if it would be like that of Shlomo HaMelech in his heyday, where it describes the tremendous amounts of flour and wheat and all kinds of delicacies, you could not fulfill your responsibility. What does “meal” mean? Is it sushi? Is it prime beef? Whatever you give them would not be enough, because they are Bnei Abraham, Yitzhak and Yaakov. You must tell them before they start working that you’re only going to give them bread and beans. Otherwise we’ll be in trouble. We see from this that we have a responsibility, when we have Jewish guests, to serve them what they deserve. The Hida explains that when we invite guests into our homes, we are inviting the children of Avraham, Yitzhak and Yaakov. This is especially true on the night of the Seder, when we realize how special the Jewish people are. How can we bring them to our tables with these dry crackers? The Bread of Affliction is not suitable for the respected level of the Jewish person. Therefore, we excuse ourselves, “ Really based on your level of kavod, we should be giving you tremendous delicacies now, because you are the sons of the kings. But, we have a responsibility on this night to remember Yetziat Mitzrayim, to act out the poverty that our forefathers endured, and in this way we come to praise our Creator for the redemption. This does not in anyway indicate a lack of respect to you, the person that I invited to my house . This is an unbelievable Hiddush , to strengthen ourselves in what it means to respect a fellow Jew, and to remind us about how careful we have to be with the dignity of our fellow Jew. We have to make sure that he remains dignified, and we have to understand the amount of dignity that he deserves. How careful we must be with his respect and honor! He is a son of Avraham, Yitzhak and Yaakov. Therefore, we start off the Seder by properly excusing ourselves for any lack of dignity that we subject our guests to, due to the restrictions of the seder night. Have a wonderful day and a Hag Kasher V’Sameach. May we all grow, and take these wonderful lessons in Ahavat Yisrael to heart.
As we hav mentioned previously, we start the Haggadah with Ha Lachma Anya , when we announce the bread of affliction and go on to invite the guests to the Seder. We have given explanations for this in the past, but the sefer Shevet Mussar adds the following: The shechina went with the Jewish people to Mitzrayim, as Hashem told Yaakov, “I will go down with you and come back up with you.” So when we were redeemed, the Shechina was also redeemed. And when we are happy with our redemption, we are also happy with the redemption of God, because a part of God was with us in exile. As it says, Imo Anochi B’Tsara, I am with you in your pain. ” And if that’s the case, as the sefer Shevet Mussar says, “ What happiness does the Shechina have if the poor people are in pain? And when you make the poor people happy, you make the Shechina happy.” The Shechina comes down to the Seder to listen to us. And the Ha Lachma Anya is in Aramaic, because just like Kaddish, when we don’t want the angels to understand or they will be jealous of the great praise of Amen Yehe Shemeh Rabba, so too they are jealous of our Seder night, when we say Ha Lachma Anya. Because the Shechina is coming down to listen to us. And if the shechina is there, we have to make the Shechina happy. This concept shows up earlier in the sefer Yavetz, written by one of the earlier Rabbis, who escaped the Spanish Inquisition, and wrote a commentary on Pirke Avot (chapter 1 Mishna ה ) based on a pasuk in Tehilim, God is close to the broken-hearted Those broken hearted are the poor people. Therefore, “ When you make the poor happy, you make God happy.” He explains the famous Gemarah (Shabbat 127) that says, “It’s greater to have guests in your house than to receive the Shechina.” Because the shechina is dwelling between the shoulders of the poor. And when you take them in, there is no difference. When Avraham Avinu took the guests in, that didn’t break the Shechina. The Yavetz says it’s the opposite- The shechina gets stronger and greater when we invite guests in. Therefore, he says it brings us a benefit. And the Hiddush is that on the night of the seder, it says, “ The great fear,” can also be read as “ The great revelations, which were the revelations of the Shechina. Rav Wolbe says that we have a revelation of the seder every Seder, just like they had then. If you want to have a revelation of the Shechina, the Shechina has to be happy. And the shechina is only happy when you make the poor people happy, and your shechina, your presence of God grows and becomes even greater. So let’s take advantage of this great night and super charge our gilui shechina with making the shechina happy, by inviting guests, which is, of course, Ahavat Yisrael.
Rav Chaim Palaggi, in his sefer Moed L’Kol Chai ( chapter 4, section 10) says that now is the time to speak about the praises of the Jewish people. On the holiday of Pesach the Jewish people give a lot of charity. He says, “ I want to count it, in order to arouse the merit of the holy nation, the Jewish people.“ He goes on to list ten things that were going on in Turkey in his times, starting with Purim and the many causes that they donated to. He ends with the words, “ Fortunate are they, and fortunate is their portion. Blessed is God who created us to bring Him honor. Baruch Hu Baruch Shemo. Blessed is He, and Blessed is His name, that chooses the Jewish people with love, because of how special we truly are. As we always say, Mi K’Amcha Yisrael/who is like Yisrael! In every generation, we have to do this. We can look back at our good deeds and recall our Matanot L’Evyonim , our Ukraine drives, our Lev Chana drive, Maot Hitim, and the many, many, different projects and initiatives that our community has taken on. Just this week David Beyda, the president- elect of SBH, son of the famous Mr. Joe Beyda a’h, invited me to take a tour of Sephardic Bikur Holim, the Hesed organization that is the pride of our community. There were many division heads and directors seated around a large conference table, representing various divisions of SBH, such as client services (that take care of each client), school/student benefits (with all types of programs worth millions of dollars), job placement, geriatric programs, a mental health clinic, a mental health referral service, a medical referral service, a volunteer unit, a fertility service, and a food pantry…. Each person is in charge of a different division that could be an organization of its own. This is what we have to do. We have to make lists and say that we are involved in Hessed. Mi K’Amcha Yisrael. It brought to mind an Agudah convention that I attended many years ago. Agudah is another wonderful organization that has many different divisions of many acts of kindness. A speaker at the convention mentioned a famous secular parable: A group of blind men heard that there was a strange animal called an elephant that had been brought to the town, but none of them were aware of its shape and form. Out of curiosity, they decided to inspect it by touch. “Hey, the elephant is a pillar,” said the first man who touched his leg. “Oh, no! it is like a rope,” said the second man who touched the tail. “Oh, no! it is like a thick branch of a tree,” said the third man who touched the trunk of the elephant. “It is like a big fan” said the fourth man who touched the ear of the elephant. “It is like a huge wall,” said the fifth man who touched the belly of the elephant. “It is like a solid pipe,” Said the sixth man who touched the tusk of the elephant…: Sometimes, when you look at an organization, or you look at a people, you can touch and you can feel but you can’t possibly imagine that all of this is one being! And that is the Jewish people. There are so many hessed organizations, and so many great things that are done. There is an organization called Bonei Olam, that recently celebrated their 10,000th birth. Rabbi Bochner, the founder, who was not zoche to children of his own, has helped thousands of couples start their own families. This week they announced their first baby born after a successful uterus transplant! This brings new hope to many childless couples. These are great Hessed organizations. What really touched me at SBH was when the chief executive officer, Nathan Krasnovsky explained why he got involved. He said that his father passed away when he was young, and he was raised by a single mother. Then, when he was in eighth grade, his mother had a massive heart attack. He was alone in the house when he got the call. They said they didn’t think that she would make it, and they asked him to make the decision of whether his mother should go to a closer or further hospital. He was all alone while his mother was in ICU for a very long time. He worked in restaurants to cover the rent, and he felt like he was drowning without anyone there to help him. He eventually went on to attend the Mir Yeshiva in Yerushalayim, and became a lawyer. After everything that he had accomplished, he decided that he wanted to give back. He didn’t want there to be another child like himself, or another single mom like his mother, alone without support. It was very moving, and that is what the Jewish people are all about. These are the kinds of things that we should talk about before Pesach- not just about how much money people spend on Passover trips. Let’s talk about how much money we spend on Hessed, and all the good things that we do, in order to arouse God’s love for the Jewish people. Mi K’Amcha Yisrael! Have a wonderful day.
At the end of Parashat Re’eh ( 16,11) It says, “ A person, on the holiday, has to be happy in front of Hashem his God. You, your son, your daughter, your male and female servants, the Leviim ( which today is the rabbis) the convert, the orphan and the widow….” As we have said in the past, Rashi says that Hashem says My four correspond to your four… Your four are your son, daughter, your male and female servant. And God says, “ If you make My four happy, I’ll make your four happy.” It’s a guarantee from God: If you want to be happy on the holiday you have to take care of God’s four, and He will make sure that yours are happy . Rav Chaim Palagi says that he has seen many people who were not happy on holidays, although they had all the money they needed. He says that he sent them this Rashi, to show them that you need to make sure other people are happy. Aside from being a general rule, it’s specifically connected to the Seder night. This thought was a gift that Hashem sent me this year: As we should all know, Maggid is based on the four pesukim that we read in Bikurim . In Devarim chapter 26, pasuk ה, it says,” With Bikurim in hand, say in out loud., in front of Hashem your God….” And it goes through the four pesukim that we read at the Seder. Then, at the end, in the Bikurim statement, it says, “ Now I have brought the Bikurim, and I have placed it in front of my God and I am bowing down…. ” Then Hashem gives an additional command: “ And you shall enjoy, together with the family, all the bounty…” It’s not enough to just walk in with the Bikurim and make the proclamation. You have to come out full of happiness and gratitude . This is also part of the Seder. Then, at the end of that Bikurim statement, it says You, the Levi and the convert… ( if anyone can look up why the orphan and widow aren’t listed here as well, please get back to me) After the discussion of Bikurim, there is something called Viddui Ma’aser, when you make a confession that you’ve done everything right with your tithes. And I noticed this year that it says “ I gave to the Levi, the convert, the orphan and the widow. I did everything you told me to do.” Rashi says that this means I am happy and I made others happy. The Sfat Emet says that this is all God wants us to do. That’s the whole story. The whole Torah is, you be happy and make others happy. That is our story. It’s the story of Ahavat Yisrael, it’s the story of Yom Tov, and it’s the story of Lev Chana- we are trying to make ourselves happy, and make other people happy at the same time. The clock is ticking. The money has been spent. After the holiday, the stores send in their bills and we have to cover them. There is song about this concept of, If you make mine happy, I’ll make yours happy… Sing it over Chol Hamoed. Because the more you believe in it, the more it works.. Ask yourself, “ What can I do for my family and children to make them happy?” We can make others happy. That’s why I like to say I sell happiness insurance. We never really want to use our insurance. We don’t want to go to the hospital has v’shalom, and we don’t want our cars to be smashed. People take out warrantees that they hope they never need. Well, this is happiness insurance. Take out a big, wraparound holiday policy. B’ezrat Hashem, we should all have happiness for ourselves and others. Amen.
The Haggadah shel Pesac h talks about the Korban Pesach. God pasach / jumped over the houses, and we remember that with Korban Pesach. There is an interesting point about the Korban Pesach- it must be eaten b’haburah/as a group. But it’s not enough that a lot of people have to eat it together. You have to pre- reserve a spot in the group. You can’t just walk in that night and sit down. It has to be prearranged. Rav Avraham Schorr, in his Haggadah shel Pesach, quotes one of the great rabbis of Biala, who says that the message of this is that the Jewish people are only a people when they are b’haburah/together, as when they are together, around the Korban Pesach eating in a communal way. It’s no coincidence that to this very day, there is something about the Seder night being familial and communal. Even people that are very far from religion feel some type of unifying force about the Seder night, as a haburah , because that is the way we started our nation. He adds that regarding both the Korban Pesach and a Brit Milah , we say “ With your blood, there is life, With your blood, there is life.” We say it twice, once for the Korban Pesach that was slaughtered, and once for the blood of the Brit Milah, which they also had to do before they left. These two bloods bring life. What life? He explains that the life of the Jewish nation comes from being together. He says that it says in the Gemara, “ O Havruta O Mituta/ Give me a group of people (someone to learn with) or give me death. This goes back to a story in the Gemara of a great rabbi who lost his mind after his chavruta died. You can’t survive without a havruta . In America we say, “ Give me liberty or give me death. “ But in the Gemara we say, Give me a havruta or give me death, because the life of the Jewish nation comes from the group. The same is true with a Brit Milah. The child is given his life, and his life comes from his Brit Milah, because he is joining the Jewish nation. This is the secret of our life. The lifeline of the Jewish people is its unifying force. This is a message of Ahavat Yisrael, and it is specific to the night of the Seder. Have a wonderful day.
I want to share another beautiful Hiddush about Ha Lachma Anya. Previously, we mentioned that the reason we invite guests is because we need to make the Shechina happy. As we said, God’s presence also left Egypt. He was in exile with us. And we make God happy by making the poor happy. The source for this, says the Hasid Yavetz, is that Avraham Avinu left the presence of God to receive guests, so obviously receiving guests is greater than receiving the Shechina. That is what the Gemara says, but how does that work? The Hasid Yavetz explains that when you leave the presence of God to greet guests, you’re enghancing your Godly experience because you are making God happy. And you will get a greater dose of God’s presence because you went to greet the guests. It is not a contradiction, it is an enhancement. The Hiddush is that this lesson was taught to us by Avraham Avinu on the night of Pesach! The Gemarah says that Avraham took in the guests on the night of Pesach. That’s why it says that a year later, on Pesach, Yitzhak was born. Avraham went to Lot (and Sedom was overturned) and Lot said he’d give Avraham matzot on the same day- Pesach. We are taking about Pesach, and it was on Pesach that Avraham Avinu had the first Seder in history, and he invited guests, which caused a Shechina enhancement- which is exactly our lesson. Furthermore, the question is asked: Why do we say Ha Lachma Anya in the middle of the meal? Everyone is already inside the house. Which guest is coming at that point? The answer, again, goes back to Avraham Avinu. On the third day of his Brit Milah, it was boiling hot out because God didn’t want to trouble him with guests, and yet Avraham Avinu went out looking for guests. Why was he looking for guests? Because he had such a love for Hesed, he went looking for guests even though it didn’t make any sense. And since we are emulating Avraham Avinu, we invite guests. Where are our guests? Avraham didn’t have any guests available either. But a person that wants to do hesed is not thinking logically. That’s what Ahavat Hesed means. He was like a guest addict. He needed guests. There is an added tidbit from the Avne Nezek The three holidays correspond to Avraham Yitzhak and Yaakov. And Pesach corresponds to Abraham Avino. As we mentioned, he is the one that made the first Seder. Avraham Avinu is called the Hagadol Sh’bAnakim/ Great amongst Giants. As a pasuk in Yehoshua says, “ Maarat Hamachpela where the Great amongst Giants are buried,” this refers not to the four giants, but to the great giant, Avraham Avinu. He is called a Gadol , and called great because he helped small people, like the sun that shines on the moon. Therefore, the Avne Nezer says, the Shabbat before Pesach is called Shabbat HaGaddol- the Shabbat of the great one , of Avraham Avinu. Shabbat ushers in the coming week, and so Pesach comes in from Avraham Avinu, the Shabbat before. That’s the whole Pesach. It’s about Avraham Avinu, it’s about hesed, and it’s about realizing a great point, that Rav Wolbe brings down from the Sefer Rokeach, one of the Rishonim: It doesn’t say clearly what Avraham Avinu’s ten tests were, but one of the Rishonim says that one of Avraham Avinu’s tests was that guests were coming- would he keep talking to God or leave ? If Avraham had stayed with God and not left, he would have failed his test. The lesson Avraham Avinu taught us in passing this test was that accepting guests is greater than the Shechina. Because that’s the enhancement of the Shechina. When you take care of the poor and the downtrodden and God dwells on the brokenhearted , that is a further Shechina experience, and not a contradiction. Certain things are a contradiction to the Shechina, but Hachnasat Orchim is not one of them. That is the lesson of Pesach, the lesson of Avraham Avinu, and we emulate Avraham Avinu. On the night of the Seder, we are looking for guests. We are looking for the three angels to come into our home. That is why we say Ha Lachma Anya. We say, “ Guests, come in,” What guests ? The imaginary guests that will come in, because we want to have guests so much. Have a wonderful day.
There are many reasons why Shabbat HaGadol is called by that title. Today we will discuss a Hiddush of the Sl’ach, in his derush לה : He says that everyday, we say Alenu Leshabeach L’Adon Hakol. It is incumbent upon us to praise the Boss. Latet Gedulah L’Yotzer Bereshit To give greatness to the One who is the Creator of the Bereshit/the world. We see from here that Hashem is referred to as the One who is the Yotzer/Creator, which means that we are thanking the Creator for the world. The term Gadol refers to Creation. God is a Gadol in creation. So the term Gadol refers to the Creator. Yetziat Mitzrayim is the biggest sign that God is the Creator. The ancient people of the world believed that the world was on auto-pilot, and that everything that was would just continue as is. They believed in something called Mazal, which is a constant. Then God came down and, so to say, broke the rules. They believed that a slave could never get out of Egypt, but God broke all the rules and showed that He is above everything. The Mazal of Nissan is the sheep, which was the Mazal of the Egyptians. We tied the sheep to the bed and slaughtered it on the 15th day, when the moon was at the fullest and strongest, to show that God is above Mazal. And we chose Shabbat as the day to tie up the sheep because Shabbat also gives us the message of creation. That is why Shabbat was chosen as the day to show the proper respect and recognition to the Gadol. So Shabbat Hagadol is the Shabbat of God. God is referred to as a Gadol because the term Gadol refers to the Creator. Latet Gedulah L’Yotzer Bereshit. Why does the term Gadol refer to God as the Creator? Every day in our Amidah, we say that God is Gadol, Gibbor V’Norah These words refer to the three Avot Abraham, Yitzhak and Yaakov- each one corresponds to each of these words Norah is Yaakov Avinu, because that term is used - Ma Norah HaMakom Gibbor is Yitzhak Avinu - because his trait was Giborah /strength, And Avraham Avinu is Gadol , because as Rav Yerucham Levovitz says, a Gadol is someone who gives to a katan The sun is called Meor HaGadol, and the moon is called Meor Katan , because the sun is the source of the light, and he gives it to the Katan who is the recipient. That’s what a Gadol is. So the ultimate Gadol is God, because God gives to ketanim . The problem of the idol worshipers was that they didn’t believe in the Gedulah of God. They didn’t believe that God could deal with the ketanim . They thought that messengers and intermediaries and mazalot were necessary. They didn’t believe that God was involved in the world, that He changed teva/nature and the world. So their lack of understanding of the middah of Gadol / God’s Hesed led to them not believing in God’s involvement in the world. Therefore, we Jewish people have our Avaraham Avinu lessons. It is no coincidence that he was a great maamin/believer, and also a great Baal Hessed, because he emulated God. He saw that God is a great Baal Hesed. And Avraham Avinu’s understanding of hesed caused him to be a believer. If you don’t believe in the power of hesed you can’t believe in God. God is such a Baal Hesed, that it doesn’t make sense to what length, and if you can’t believe that, it will cause you to believe in all sorts of intermediaries. If you don’t believe in the power of God’s kindness, you might think someone is doing it, or getting involved. But that is wrong. There is no somebody else. God’s kindness is so great. He is the ultimate great One. And that’s why we call it Shabbat HaGadol- the Shabbat of the Gadol/the Great One . Who is the great one? God is the great One. Because He is involved in us, and we are the ketanim . We are the recipients. And the more you give to others, the more of a Gadol you are. This is where Ahavat Yisrael comes in. The great Rav Chaim Ozer Grodzensky once said, “I used to think that my pride was my writings of Chiddushei Torah. But at the end of my life, I see that my pride is the writing of my accountings of how much money I gave out to widows and orphans and people in need. This is another push for Lev Chana. Baruch HaShem, over 200 families were recipients of large sums of money. Now we need to cover it (We give out first and cover it later). So if you haven’t done so please, send your donation today. Checks made out to Lev Chana can be mailed to: Lev Chana c/o Rabbi David Sutton 1059 E. 10th St. Brooklyn, NY, 11230. To be billed, email me directly at rabbisutton@gmail.com For Quickpay, use rabbisutton@gmail.com Or click on this link: https://www.rayze.it/levchana/
I would like to quote from the Chafetz Chaim’s sefer Ahavat Hesed (vol 2, chapter 5): “ We are in a time that God’s justice is extremely strong in the world, and there is no way to get out of the problems that are constantly arising ( he was referring to the era between World War I and World War II), How much more so do we have to strengthen ourselves in the trait of Hesed, because through this, when we do kindness down here, we arouse God’s kindness above.” He continues to quote from the Tanna D’Vei Eliyahu, a Midrash from the great Eliyahu HaNavi (end of 23rd chapter), that says, “ When the Jews were in Egypt they held a meeting and said that they should all be together. And they made a deal, before they left Egypt, to do Hesed with one another.” The Chafetz Chaim explains that the purpose of that was in order to arouse God’s kindness above. He said that it worked- they got out! Their Hesed is what caused the decrees of Paroah to be annulled. He quotes a source that we say in Az Yashir every day (from Shemot 15,13), “ נחית בחסדך עם זו גאלת You guided this nation, the Yehudim, with kindness,” Which means in the merit of kindness, they got out. He continues and says, “ Whoever is consistent in this Middah of kindness, you will have children that are wise and successful. He quotes a Gemarah in Bava Batra to that fact. Then, the Chafetz Chaim, the Gadol HaDor of his generation and many generations to come, says, “ It’s a wonder on people that look for Segulot for children, and spend hundreds of thousands of dollars ( depending on their finances)… it’s better to do the segula that Chazal tell us- Do the trait of Sedaka, do as much as you can for the poor, and if you don’t have the money, raise money for them … be of those that fundraise for people that don’t have. It’s greater to fundraise than to give, because you’re the one that causes others to give. And he says that it must be done consistently, he has to condition his body, to be, as the pasuk says, “A chaser of Sedaka.” In that merit God will do kindness to him, and fulfill his needs. It says that many people in his time, that needed children, have done this, and they were successful. He adds that if Heaven forbid, for some reason, God doesn’t want the person to have children, at the least the Sedaka that he spent will become like his children. Like it says, “His deeds are his children.” Whereas if a person spends money on segulot that aren’t like this, then he doesn’t ending up reaping the benefit. He quotes again from Tanna D’Dvei Eliyahu, (end of chapter 26) where the pasuk in Devarim ( 28,2) says that “ All these blessings will come upon you, will catch up to you, because you listen to the voice of Hashem, your God.” The Midrash continues, “ They will come if listen to His voice, and go in His ways. What are God’s ways? That He is merciful.. even on the wicked. Eventually He accepts them in Teshuva, if they do Teshuva. God gives everyone parnasa…those are the ways of Shamayim.” The ways of Shamayim are that God is a Hanun and gives Matnat Hinam, says the Tanna Dvei Eliyahu, even to people that don’t deserve it. You too can give Matnat Hinam to people you don’t even know, and for no reason. These are the ways of Shamayim, and he says that if you act like that, you arouse God’s kindness. So there is a direct connection between acts of kindness and Yetziat Mitzrayim. It’s no wonder that there is such an abundance of kindness done at this time of the year. Because, as we say, every year there is a Yetziat Mitzrayim. We got out in Nissan, and we will get out in Nissan. The only way to do that is by doing acts of Hesed. As a reminder, if you have not yet given to Lev Chana, an organization that uses donation to purchase clothing cards, now is your chance. Anyone who wishes to participate in this special mitzvah can write a check made out to Lev Chana, and mail it to Lev Chana c/o Rabbi David Sutton 1059 E. 10th St. Brooklyn, NY, 11230. To be billed, email me directly at rabbisutton@gmail.com For Quickpay, use rabbisutton@gmail.com Or click on this link: https://www.rayze.it/levchana/
Today is a special 2/1 class, which will be shared with both the Ahavat Yisrael and Daily Bitachon groups. Yetziat Mitzrayim is the source for all of our Emuna and Bitachon, and the end goal of the night of the Seder is Hakarat HaTov/Appreciation and recognition of the kindness that Hashem bestows upon us. That is why we say Dayenu as a part of Maggid . We list all of the things that Hashem does for us, and we have Hallel/the song of praise, as part of Maggid . Maggid is not over when the story is finished- it’s over with the words Ga’al Yisrael- God redeemed us. Hallel is a part of Maggid , because simply telling the story would not be a complete job. We have to tell the story and feel like we got out, to the point that we sing Hallel and we are overflowing with gratitude. That has to be the feeling of the night. What’s more, as we discussed yesterday, the entire Haggadah is based on four pesukim that come from the story of Bikurim , which is the Mitzvah of the first fruits, that we offer to Hashem and say Thank You for. With baskets in hand, we appreciate the land that God gave us. Aside from the fact that these four pesukim are the shortest version of the story of the Exodus, they were chosen because it is also the story of gratitude. That is the end goal. The rabbis tell us that if we go through the story of the night and we only come out with Emuna and bitachon/faith and reliance, that is not enough. We have to walk out with a feeling of gratitude, and ultimately, a feeling of being servants of Hashem, because we owe Him. The first commandment is Anochi Hashem Elokecha, I am Hashem your God God, Asher Hotzeti Me’Eretz Mitzrayim/That took you out of Egypt . We don’t just say that God is our God, but we add that He took us out of Egypt , because we serve God because we owe God. We have to feel that on the night of the Seder. And we shouldn’t wake up the next morning with the attitude that we can’t get up at 8am to pray because we finished late the night before. We have to feel like we want to get up even earlier, at 6:30am, to learn at 7, because God just took us out of Egypt. That has to be the feeling on the morning after the Seder. This relates to Ahavat Yisrael, man and his fellow, in that the Gemarah says, Whoever denies the goodness that his friend does, will end up denying what God does. If you don’t have gratitude to people, you will not have gratitude to God. I remember over 20 years ago, Danny Massry brought out this point when we were discussing the concept of atheism. We had been discussing why respecting your father and mother is on the right side of the Ten Commandments, which is about man and God. It should be on the other side of the Ten Commandments where it talks about man and man. The commentaries answer that respecting your parents is an issue between man and God because if you aren’t going to respect your parents, you aren’t going to respect God. If you don’t respect the physical father that you have, and the physical mother that gave birth to you and raised you, you aren’t going to respect the Father that you don’t see. Danny commented that people are not atheists because they don’t see or believe in God. He pointed out that they don’t visit their parents other than on Mothers’ Day or Fathers’ Day. They aren’t atheists, they are ingrates .The source of atheism is not really atheism. The source is a lack of gratitude. They don’t want to say thank you so they deny God. The proof of this is that the parent that they do see, they aren’t grateful to either. That is how Ahavat Yisrael (which is between man and man, and loving your friend for what he has done for you or what he is) connects to the Mitzvah of Yetziat Mitzrayim. Yetziat Mitzrayim has to cause us to come out with more perfected Middot between man and man, because Man and God, and man and man are one and the same. Rav Wolbe says that if a man’s heart is closed, and he only sees himself, and he doesn’t see out of his heart, then he doesn’t see other people and he does not see God. Once you open the window of your heart and see out, you will see God and you will see people. Paroah said, “ Who is God that I should listen to him? “ This was also the Paroah who forgot about Yosef. How could he have opressed the Jewish people if their grandfather saved his country? Where was his gratitude? Paroah did not have gratitude for people and so eventually he came to deny God. There is an important connection between gratitude and religion. That is why we have to work on the middah of HaKarat HaTov. The whole Yetziat Mitzrayim is about HaKarat HaTov to the nth degree. Rabbi Friedlander asks why it is that Moshe had to be careful not to bring a plague on the Nile (which saved him) or on the sand (which protected him). Why did he have to have HaKarat HaTov to inanimate objects? Although Hakarat HaTov is more important for the person feeling it than the person receiving it, we do see that great rabbis have thrown things, such as their hot water boilers, out on the street. Hasn’t that boiler served the rabbi for so long? How could he throw it out? The answer is, of course you can throw out a boiler, because that is not a halacha. So why did Moshe have to be so careful? Because Moshe was bringing us the lesson of Yetziat Mitzrayim, which was all about HaKarat HaTov. We have to be very careful with this Mitzvah. In Rav Chaim Kanievsky’s sefer Orchot Yosher (page 214), which we have been quoting from, there is a story about his rebbe, Rav Michel Yehuda Lefkowitz, one of the Gedolei HaDor. Rav Chaim told this story at Rav Michel Yehuda’s funeral. Rav Michel Yehuda once asked Rav Chaim to borrow a sefer . He explained that his father had been a God-fearing man, but he did not serve as a Rabbi or Rosh Yeshiva. He was a simple working man. Often, when walking together in the street, Rav Michel Yehuda explained, his father used to teach him lessons in mussar . He would say, “Do you see that man walking there? That man is a shoemaker. He is working man just like me. And yet he has a son that is a Talmid Chacham. You too can become a Talmid Chacham even though your father is not a rabbi. Don’t be afraid. Learn well, be diligent, and dedicate yourself, and you will grow and become a Talmid Chacham.” Rav Michel Yehuda then added that he’d heard that the son of a shoemaker wrote a sefer Brit Eitan . “ I heard you have a copy. I would like to learn that sefer as a gesture of gratitude to the author. I have Hakarat HaTov to him because without him even realizing it, he inspired me to learn. Because he was the son of the shoemaker and he learned, my father was encouraged that I too could become a Talmid Chacham. I got strength and inspiration from him. Rav Chaim, after recounting that story, added that he too had to learn the sefer, “ Because Rav Michel Yehuda Leftkowitz was my rebbe, If not for him I would not be who I am.” So 750,000 people came to the funeral of Rav Chaim, and Rav Chaim Kanievsky became great because of his rabbi, Rav Michel Yehuda, and it all came from a shoemaker’s son. We all owe him Hakarat HaTov. How far does Hakarat HaTov go?! The famous Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz once said that when Moshe Rabbenu came to Yitro, his daughters reported that an Egyptian man had saved them. But Moshe wasn’t Egyptian, so why did they say an Egyptian and not a Jew ? The Midrash answers that it’s because if Moshe hadn’t killed the Egyptian, he never would have become a fugitive and would not have saved them. They had to ultimately go back and be grateful to the Egyptian man that Moshe killed, which caused Moshe to be a fugitive, which is what saved them. The mashal for this, says the Midrash, is a baby that is drowning in a river. A man nearby then gets stung by a hornet and goes running into the river. He sees the baby and saves it. When the baby is returned to his mother, the mother says, “You saved my baby!“ And they says, “ No, it was not a man, it was a hornet that saved your baby.” We, the Jewish people, owe the shoemaker. That is how far Hakarat HaTov goes. We need to feel that trait between people, and ultimately to God, because it is a package deal. Have a wonderful day.
In the 14th chapter of the Rambam’s laws of of mourning, he says that it’s a positive commandment to visit the sick and comfort the mourning, to be involved in funerals, to take care of brides and to have guests over etc. He says these are acts of kindness that one does with their body that there is no prescribed measure for . He says even though these are all rabbinical Mitzvot, they are included in the mitzvah of V’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/love your friend like you love yourself. And whatever you want others to do to you, you should do to others. In his sefer Orchot Yosher, Rav Chaim Kanievsky asks if, in truth, these Mitzvot (such as visiting the sick, taking care of mourners, taking care of brides and grooms) are all included under the umbrella of love your friend like you love yourself, why do we have separate rabbinical Mitzvot on these as well? His answer is that there is a general Mitzvah from the Torah of Hessed and there is no amount (attached to this). This means you don’t have to spend your entire day doing Hesed. You can eat and drink, and you have a right to do what you need to do. But you have to help your friend when you are able to. Additionally, the rabbis made a responsibility called “Visit the sick,” as a separate Mitzvah. “Take care of a wedding,” is a separate Mitzvah. It’s no different than lighting Chanukah candles or listening to the Megilla. You can’t stay your too busy for this Mitzvah, even if you have done a previous hessed that day. If a wedding comes or someone is sick, these now become specific Mitzvot, regardless of the amount of Hesed you did previously. It becomes it’s own unique rabbinical obligation. That’s the additional power of these Mitzvot that the rabbis singled out. You don’t have to stand on the street corner all day waiting to cross an old lady, but if you know that someone is sitting Shiva, heaven forbid, you have to go out of your way to comfort them. If you know somebody is having a wedding, you have to go out of your way to dance at the wedding. Even if you have things of your own to do, this is now a separate Mitzvah D’Rabbanan , a separate rabbinical Mitzvah like Megillah, like lighting Hanukah candles etc. That is the power of the rabbinical command of these specific Mitzvot. This is yet another beautiful thought from Rav Chaim Kanievsky zichrono l’bracha, and it’s a zechut for us to him a zechut by learning from his sefer. Have a wonderful day.
I would like to share some stories from the sefer Orchot Yosher, a musar book by Rav Chaim Kanievsky. On Page 41 (Artscroll version) it quotes Rav Chaim, regarding his father the Steipler, who was once asked, “ You are tired and weak, why do you continue to see people? And he answered, “ We do not know by which merit we live. ” Rav Chaim also lived that way, and believed that. That is why he took the time to answer so many questions from so many people. Because You never know in what zechut you live. This is mind boggling. We are talking about a man who finished the entire Torah every year, and wrote many sefarim , and yet he said, You don’t know why you are living. We don’t know if it’s the merit of Hesed that keeps us alive. Rav Chaim usually read and answered questioned without hesitation. However, his son once saw him considering, and scribbling on the page, trying again and again to compose his reply. The son thought it must have been a very deep question. But then Rav Chaim showed him that the letter was from a six year old boy from a Talmud Torah in Bnei B’rak. The boy wrote that he was a second grader and he had a problem with Paroah’s dream. In the verse “Seven people other cows rose up after them ,” He why it said “after them ,” in the feminine form אחריהן rather than אחריהם - the masculine form. Rav Chaim told his son that he had a grammatical explanation, but it was a six year old boy, and he wanted to make sure the boy would understand his answer. His son asked him why it was so important. Rav Chaim replied, “ I try very hard to answer all questions in learning, because I think that some writers would be encouraged by the answers and have a renewed desire to advance in Torah. I don’t know whether all the questioners will be strengthened, but it’s clear that a boy of six could be very encouraged. That is why I am putting in the effort.“ After several long moments passed, Rav Chaim picked up his pen and, with a smile, wrote an answer which he hoped the child would understand- Paroah was in Egypt, and did not know Hebrew. Therefore his grammar wasn’t correct. Of course, that is not the simple answer, but it’s one that a six year old could appreciate. So here we have Rav Chaim sitting, and using his precious time because to make sure that this little boy would be encouraged in his learning. Because, as we have said, Who knows what gives us life? It’s a very, very powerful statement. We think it might be a great mitzvah or great sedaka , but we never know. It could be the acts of our h essed . That is why it is so important for a person to be busy with hessed . And how do you get busy with hessed all day? In another story from the book, (page 40), Rav Chaim quoted from his rebbe Rav Elya Dushnitzer who told him that back in the early 1900s there was a man from Moscow who was responsible for all the charity funds in his city. The man was asked how he had achieved that position, and he relayed the following. He was a pharmacist. The Chafetz Chaim happened to come to his town and came into his pharmacy. When he entered the pharmacy, he told the man that he envied him, because he does constant Mitzvot dealing with life and death, by fulfilling all those prescriptions. The pharmacist replied that he wasn’t doing any hessed because it was his business. but the Chafetz Chaim said that “ If you have in mind that you also are doing it for Mitzvah, then all the actions that you do turn into Mitzvot. ” The man said that from there, events evolved until, eventually, all the city’s charitable matters ended up in his hands. Because Mitzvah Goreret Mitzvah one Mitzvah causes another Mitzvah . Since he was involved in such a!great hessed -saving peoples lives, that caused all the kindness of the city to come into his hands. It’s unbelievable how a mindset can cause a person to be doing hessed all day. And who knows why we are living? Have a wonderful day.
One of the worst averot/sins between man and his fellow is the sin of Lashon Hara. That is why there is a miracle dedicated to this avera called Sara’at. It’s translated as leprosy but leprosy is a physical ailment and Sara’at is a spiritual ailment- when something shows up on a person’s body to indicate a sin- and that is not a natural event. The Rambam writes that this is one of the rare examples of a miracle built into our Torah. (The same is true for the Sotah . The miraculous waters prove the wife’s faithfulness to her husband when she comes under suspicion, and from this we see that Hashem invokes miracles in order to bring peace between people) In this week’s Parasha, the pasuk says (Vayikra 13,2) אדם כי יהיה בעור בשרו שאת או ספחת או בהרת והיה בעור בשרו לנגע צראת A man that has on the flesh of his skin….various signs of Sara’at…. There will be… and repeats the signs. The second time, the word ו היה V’ Haya is used, which usually implies happiness. What is the happiness when this is on a person?’ The Shelah HaKadosh quotes the Zohar on a pasuk in Mishleh (21,23) that says, שומר פיו ולשונו שומר מצרות נפשו Someone who guards his tongue and lips protects himself from Sarot Nafsho/problems of his soul. Simply speaking, this means guarding your tongue protects you from problems. But the Zohar says that the words should read as Sara’at Nafsho which means, When a person speaks Lashon Hara, beside the outward physical manifestation of the of the impurity on his body, which is called Sara’at, there is also Sara’at Nafsho- His soul is also infected . Therefore, one who cares about his nefesh/soul will guard his tongue, because he does not want to have a contaminated soul. The Chida adds to this, in his commentary on the Shelah, that it says V’Haya in the pasuk in Vayikra because the person is happy he has this on his flesh and not on his soul. Today, we don’t have a Bet HaMikdash, says Chafetz Chaim. And we don’t have the ability to purify ourselves. So Hashem doesn’t make this miracle, because we could never get rid of it. But he says that we have to realize that this doesn’t mean the Sara’at is not there. We have to worry about the fact that right now, God is covering up our disgrace, so we don’t see it. But after 120 years, it will be there, unless we do Teshuva. Therefore, just like in this world when a person is a M’Sora they have to sit alone, so too, has v’shalom , he will be quarantined “upstairs,” and separated from everybody else- if he doesn’t do teshuva properly. This is the motivation, from the Chafetz Chaim, to be more careful and do Teshuva on this sin of Lashon Hara, which is in this week Parasha, Tazria. B’ezrat Hashem, we are all committed to Ahavat Yisrael and are careful to avoid bad mouthing, or saying anything detrimental, about somebody else. Have a wonderful day and a Shabbat Shalom.
The rule is, if you do a Hesed, it comes around. I was in a sefarim store and I saw a Haggadah shel Pesach by Rabbi Baruch Rosenblum. I knew a friend of mine, Mr. Steven Ashear, had a tremendous love for this rabbi, so I bought the Hagadah for him. He returned the Hesed by sharing a beautiful Dvar Torah with me, on the concept of Kimcha D’Pischa (lit. Flour for Pesach , sedaka and food provided for the needy for Pesach). Why is it that we don’t have a term for the Sedaka collected for other holidays? Why only Pesach? He cites the sefer Kol Eliyahu from the Gaon of Vilna, which says there is a hint to this in the Torah, where says, “ Seven days you should eat Matzot… Matzot should be eaten the seven days .” Why does it first say, “ You should eat,” and then say, “ Should be eaten,” which means to cause others to eat? He explains that this hints that Not only do you have to eat matzot, but you have to make sure that others eat matzot. And furthermore, he notes that the first time it says מצת matzot , it’s written without a vav , whereas the second time, matzot מצות is spelled with a vav . This is to indicate that for yourself , you can skimp, but when it comes to others, you have to make sure they have a lot. That’s a beautiful thought. Anytime we give Sedaka, we have to think about this concept, about giving the prime to the Ani/poor. Furthermore, he quotes Rav Chaim Palagi in his sefer Sedaka L’Chaim, which quotes from another sefer called Shimon V’Levi, (with a commentary on the Hagadah) that questions why we have to start giving Sedaka 30 days before Pesach. He answers that the poor person sees that others are buying, and that is the greatest suffering. He quotes a Rashi in Iyov (36,21) that says when a poor person sees other people shopping and he can’t shop, he has tremendous pain and he complains to Hashem, “ Why is it that everyone else is shopping while I can’t shop?“ The Arizal says that when a poor person complains to Hashem, that can arouse the trait of Judgment in heaven, as the poor person complains to God about why He isn’t taking care of him. When we give Sedaka to the poor, we make peace between the poor man and God, and we bring peace to the world. And in order to make sure that the poor person does not have any complaints, we give 30 days before, so that when everyone else is shopping, he can shop too. As to why the word Matzot is written without the vav , he says that the word Matzot מצת without the vav can be an acronym for Sedaka Tatzil MiMavet צדקה תציל ממות Sedaka saves from death. When you give Matzah to the one who’s lacking, (which is why the vav is missing) that will save you from death. The צ in מצת is for Sedaka . When you give Sedaka it saves from death. He goes in to explain the four steps involved in the baking of matzot, and how they save the person from the four types of death penalties. -Grinding the wheat -saves the person from being stoned to death -Baking the matzot saves the person from burning -Plucking or patting the Matzah saves a person from the strangulation, -And when they make the holes, that saves the person from the sword. So every step of the process will save from a possible death penalty. That is how great Sedaka is. He says it will save someone even from the most strict of sins. Rav Chaim Palagi adds to his words, “… His words are alive and established, they are trustworthy and coveted.” These are beautiful words on the power of Sedaka that a person gives before Pesach- and not just before Pesach, but early . I’m happy to say that thanks to our listeners, the Lev Chana cards are currently in the mail. They were sent to close to 200 families, widows orphans and the like. Baruch Hashem we don’t have the money yet. We haven’t covered it yet, but we have to send it out. We can’t wait until we have the money. B’ezrat Hashem the money will come in. Everyone here is part of the great mitzvah of making sure that there is still time to shop with everybody else. Have a wonderful day and Tizku Lemitzvot.
Yesterday, we spoke about the Rasha of the Hagada, who separates himself from the Jewish people. This was actually a quote from the Artscroll Sephardic Heritage Haggadah , page 57 (This is a beautiful Hagada to have for Seder preparation). I saw a similar thought, with a deeper explanation, in the Hagadah, Living Our History, written by Rabbi Reuven Leuchter, a student of Rav Wolbe and a deep thinker. He also says that the Rasha did not commit any sins, but he adds that when Hashem freed us from Egypt, He took us for Himself to be His nation, which means that Hashem’s relationship ceased to be focused on righteous individuals, and became centered on the nation as a whole. So our job now is in our role in the national mission. The famous mashal is given that every musician in the orchestra contributes to the symphony. So too, every individual is indispensable, but only in the framework as part of of the symphony. He says that the Rasha fails to understand that. When we spoke about this yesterday, we described the Rasha as a fellow who doesn’t go to Shul, and cuts himself off from others. But Rabbi Leuchter describes him as a fellow who regularly attends his local synagogue, and gives Sedaka generously. His problem, he says, is in his mindset. He views his service to Hashem as his own personal matter. He doesn’t realize that the Jewish people is one single organism. In his words, In one body, the head and the toe don’t merely have something in common, but rather , they are both part of one whole. That is the mistake of the Rasha . He doesn’t realize that he is part of the whole. It’s not just that he has something in common with other Jews, that they all perform Mitzvot together. That’s his mistake. Rabbi Leuchter says that those that viewed themselves as distinct individuals died in Egypt, for , as individuals, they did not merit redemption. This is a very powerful added depth. Initially, we were just talking about the fellow that separates himself from the group in a physical sense, in that he doesn’t show up in shul or in times of Jewish gatherings. However, this is more about what his mindset is. It’s really more of an internal question. How do I view myself? And this is the deciding factor of whether one is part of, or not part of, the Jewish people. B’ezrat Hashem, we, who are working on our Ahavat Yisrael, will have the proper outlook. Have a wonderful day.
As we get ready for Pesach, we continue with another Haggadah- related thought. One of the four sons is the Rasha/wicked one, who says, “What is this work to you?” When he says, “to you,” he excludes himself, which means he excludes himself from the Jewish people and denies the fundamental of Judaism. Therefore, we are to “blunt his teeth and tell him that had he been there ( in Mitzrayim) he would not have been redeemed.” He is considered a Kofer, a denier of God. What exactly did he do? He didn’t say that he didn’t not want to keep Mitzvot. He just did not make himself part of the group. And based on that, he becomes a rasha. What is the source for this concept, that a person can be called a rasha just because he separates himself from Klal Yisrael? Rambam, in Hilchot Teshuva (chapter 3) says, הפורש מדרכי צבור ואף על פי שלא עבר עבירות אלא נבדל מעדת ישראל ואינו עושה מצות בכללן ולא נכנס בצרתן ולא מתענה בתעניתן אלא הולך בדרכו כאחד מגויי הארץ וכאילו אינו מהן אין לו חלק לעולם הבא Someone that separates from the ways of the group and the ways of the Jewish people , even if he doesn’t do any sins (i.e he eats kosher and keeps Shabbat), if doesn’t do Mitzvot as a part of the group, and doesn’t enter into their pain, doesn’t fast along with them when they fast, he acts like any other nation that doesn’t belong to the Jewish people (he acts like he is on his own island) he’s a Jew who keeps the Mitzvot but he doesn’t act like he’s part of the Jewish nation- the Rambam says, אין לו חלק לעולם הבא He does not have a portion in the world to come. We see from here a tremendous concept: The Jewish religion is not about keeping Mitzvot. It’s about keeping Mitzvot as part of the Jewish people. Therefore, not doing so is what makes a rasha. The rasha of the Haggadah eats kosher; he keeps chalav yisrael, yashan, bet Yosef and everything else…and his wife can wear 3 wigs! But it doesn’t make a difference. If you are not part of the Jewish people, you aren’t part of God. You have no portion in the world to come. When describing who is a part of the Klal, the Rambam uses the words נכנס בצרתן /You enter their problems. You make their problems your problems. If they are having a fast day, you fast with them. That is called being part of Klal Yisrael. It is not just about Torah and Mitzvot. It is about feeling their pain, and being a part of them. And not doing so is what makes the Rasha. Therefore, as we get ready for Pesach, our job is to become more and more part of Klal Yisrael. Have a wonderful day.
There’s a thought on the Hagada shel Pesach related to Ahavat Yisrael that I would like to share (it’s never too early). Magid starts off with, Ha Lachma Anya, the bread of affliction, “ that our forefathers ate in the land of Egypt . Then we say, “ Anybody who is hungry should come in and eat, Whoever is needy (regarding Pesach) should come and celebrate Pesach… Then we say, “ Now we are here, and next year we will be in the land of Eretz Yisrael; Now we are slaves, next year in the land of Yisrael, free men.” It’s basically broken into three stanzas: The first part introduces the bread of affliction that we ate in Mitzrayim, Then we invite the guests in, And then, the third section holds our hopes for the future. The Chida is bothered- what exactly is the connection between these three statements? He explains that we are currently in Galut . That is the Lachma Anya/ the bread of affliction. Then, at the end, we say our hope and prayer is that we will no longer be in Galut . What comes in between those two statements is inviting the guests in. He said that the way for us to get from point A (our Galut now) to point C ( going to Eretz Yisrael) is by bringing in guests. Since the Bet HaMikdash was destroyed over Sinat Hinam, the way to fix that sin is by inviting guests in. Therefore, we have this statement in between, because that’s the way we come out of Galut . The Chida further proves this point from the terminology of Megilat Eicha, “Yehuda went into Galut because of Oni/poverty.” This can mean that were in an impoverished state, but alternatively, it can mean that they went into Galut because they did not treat the impoverished properly . That’s why we eat the bread of poverty until today- because we didn’t treat the poor properly. It’s no coincidence that there are many so appeals for Maot Hitim and other other collections at this time of year. It’s because, as the Chida tells us, the way to get from the beginning of Ha Lachma Anya (the impoverished state we are in) to the end of it (being in Yisrael), is with the middle statement - Whoever is hungry, come and eat, whoever is needy come in for Pesach. And it starts now. We invite guests now. And this doesn’t just mean family members. Inviting guest means including people who need a place for the Seder. Now is the time to talk about it, as there are three weeks to go. Start thinking about whether you know anyone that might need a place to go for the Seder. They might not always be the easiest people, but if they need a place for the Seder, that is what we are supposed to be thinking about now. Have a wonderful day.
This week is Parashat Para. The question is asked-how can it be that it says, VeAhavta LeRe’echa Kamocha, Zeh Klal Gadol B’Torah/ Every Mitzvah in the Torah traces back to loving your friend like you love yourself. How does the purification process of sprinkling ashes of the Para Adumah/Red Heifer connect to VeAhavta LeRe’echa Kamocha? One of the rabbis answers that one of the idiosyncrasies of the Para Adumah is the fact that the Kohen, who is involved in the process, starts off pure, and becomes impure, whereas the person that walked in impure becomes pure. (Incidentally, the Kohen’s impurity only lasts for one day, whereas the other fellow has a 7 day period of Tumah) So the Kohen is willing to cause himself to become impure, in order to save his fellow brother, who needs to be purified. This is a classic case of VeAhavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. The Kohen takes the hit for his fellow Jew There is another connection though, as Rav Chaim Palagi says, in the name of the Sefer Maaseh Sedaka (pg 128a, letter 41) והיתה לכם לחוקת עולם, שענין פרה נוהגת לעולם ועד, בין בדיבור בין במעשה, הדיבור הוא לקרות פרשת פרה בציבור, והיא מצות עשה לקצת פוסקים, והמעשה שלם יהיה על ידי מצות הצדקה בערב שבת זו Parah Aduma is everlasting mitzvah. How so? Firstly by reading it in shul ( as we do this week), and secondly by the action of giving Sedaka this Friday. Furthermore, Rav Chaim Palagi says, ואין דבר המטהר את האדם מן הקליפות שהם אבי אבות הטומאה דרגא דמותא, כמו מעשה הצדקה, כי אין עבירה מכבה מצות הצדקה, כמו שאין מכבה את התורה, ועל ידי זה הוא זוכה לפתוח את שער החמשים של חמשים שערי בינה. שבא משם הגאולה, עד כאן לשונו There is nothing that purifies a person from these imperfections which are the sources of the worst possible Tumah (worthy of death) like giving charity. When you do an Averah/sin, it does not extinguish the Mitzvah of Sedaka, whereas averot can temporarily extinguish other Mitzvot. This is the power of Sedaka, which brings purification to this very day. The Chida says that the Mitzvah of tzedaka opens up the gates of understanding, and is the source of the future Geulah. Even in our times, without a Parah Aduma, we have a replacement: Tzedakah Tatzil MiMavet/ Sedaka saves one from death. When you give Sedaka, the letter צ Sadi drops into the word מות/Mavet/death, and turns it into מצוות Mitzvot. That is the power of Sedaka. Of course, there are many great causes, but at this time of the year, I am personally pushing Sedaka for Lev Chana, an organization that gives out clothing cards to families in need. If you haven’t already done so, you can write a check made out to Lev Chana, and mail it to Lev Chana c/o Rabbi David Sutton 1059 E. 10th St. Brooklyn, NY, 11230. To be billed, email me directly at rabbisutton@gmail.com For Quickpay, use rabbisutton@gmail.com Or click on this link: https://www.rayze.it/levchana/ JFC link: https://jcfny.donorfirst.org/node/add/grant?orgid=1348332 Tizku lemitzvot Have a wonderful day and a Shabbat Shalom.
We continue with our special guest, Rabbi Nosson Scherman, shlita, and his beautiful stories of Gedolim : Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach was one of the greatest Jews of the previous generation. He was a good friend and colleague of Rav Elyashiv, and passed away about 15 years before Rav Elyashiv. He was a very, very, great man. A young man once came to Rav Auerbach saying that he wasn’t sure his marriage could continue, because he was always arguing with his wife. Rav Shlomo Zalman told him that it was normal to disagree, as people come from different families and backgrounds. · But then the young man pointed out that when Rav Shlomo Zalman’s Rebbitzen had passed away, the Rav said he had no need to ask mechila – forgiveness (as is the usual custom) of the Nifteret ( deceased) , because they never argued. Rav Shlomo Zalman clarified to the young man, “I didn’t say that we never argued. I said I don’t have to ask mechilla because we never had a serious disagreement. Of course we argued. We didn’t always agree. But it was never personal. We never got angry at, or insulted each other. If we had a disagreement, we’d discuss it and work it out.” Rav Nosson continues…. “ During the Shiva, after my wife passed away, a very well known marriage counselor came to be Menachem Avel. She spoke to my daughters and asked them how we had had such a good marriage. One of my daughters said, “ When my mother had an opinion, my father did not have an opinion. And with my father had an opinion, my mother didn’t.” In other words, you don’t get into foolish arguments with each other. If she had a strong opinion. I was mevater. If I had a strong opinion, she was mevater. If we both had strong opinions , then we worked it out. It was never personal. We always worked it out in a nice, kind, respectful way. ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ Rav Wolbe once said, “ A marriage that doesn’t have an argument isn’t a marriage, because that means you aren’t even getting in to anything. But it always hs to be over a cup of tea.” Argue, but over a cup of tea. Have a wonderful day.
Today we present a story about Rav Chaim Kanievsky’s father, the Steipler ztz’l , as told by our scholar in residence, my father-in-law, Rabbi Nosson Scherman, shlita: The Steipler Gaon was the Gadol HaDor in his time. He was a brother-in-law of the Chazon Ish, and the father of Rav Chaim. When the Steipler’s father was a young man, he was a chasid of the Hornosteipel Rebbe (which is where the name Steipler came from). When the time came for Shidduchim, two girls were suggested for him. One was from a very wealthy family, so he’d be able to sit and learn for the rest of his life, but the girl was not so desirable in terms of spirituality and religion. The other girl was a very fine girl, but from a poor family, and he’d have to go to work right away. He went to his Rebbe to ask what he should do, and the Rebbe said, “You don’t go for the money, you go for the person. Marry the girl who is very good, and don’t worry about the money.“ The Rebbe saw on his face that he was a little bit disappointed, so the Rebbe said, “You will have a son who will light up the whole world with his Torah.“ Later on in life, the Steipler would say, “Why do people buy my sefarim? There are better sefarim.. it’s because the Sadik gave a beracha, and you can’t ask questions about a Sadik’s beracha.” He attributed his success to the beracha of the Hornosteipel Rebbe. This story is an an example of the humility of an Adam Gadol, of Emunat Chachamim, a nd also- of Middot , which is what we have been talking about. Ahavat Yisrael, Ve’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha, are is the foundation of the entire Torah. The Derashot Haran points out that when Avraham Avinu was looking for a wife for his son Yitzhak, he went to a place where people worshipped idols (so maybe their Hashkafa wasn’t the best), but they had the proper Middot . She had the Middah of Hesed . When looking for a wife, the future mother of your children, that’s always what you are supposed to look for. You are supposed to look for the proper Middot . And the ultimate Middah is Ahavat Yisrael , which is what we are working on. We see from here that the Steipler’s father chose a wife that had proper Middot , and, so to say, sacrificed on his learning, but in the end, he was paid back, with his great son, the Steipler, and his grandson, Rav Chaim Kanievsky. Have a wonderful day.
I would like to share something that was said at the funeral of Rav Chaim Kanievsky, ztz’l. A Gadol’s time is extremely, extremely valuable. They appreciate every minute, and Rav Chaim especially . He used to wish people “ Beracha VHatzlacha”/Blessings and success, until, at certain time, he switched to, “ BuHa ,” an acronym for Beracha V’Hatzlacha, in order to save a few extra seconds of time. So obviously, time was extremely valuable to him. Once, after one of his children’s weddings, he said he had to leave right after the Sheva Berachot. His Mechutan/ new in-law, asked him where he was going. He explained that he had to take care of his Hovot/Obligations, which is an expression that is usually used for monetary obligations. The man was shocked. On the night of the wedding, he had to go raising money? He later found out that what Rav Chaim really meant was his learning obligations. He had a certain amount that he learned every single day, and being that he had to go to his child’s wedding, he was behind on his learning. He had to fulfill his Hovot . He had to learn his seven pages of Gemara, and all of his other obligations, and he wouldn’t go to sleep until he had completed all of his responsibilities. Time is extremely extremely valuable to an Adam Gadol like that, and yet Rav Chaim spent a tremendous amount of his time answering people’s questions. And this goes back for years and years. I remember when I was in Yeshiva, 40 years ago, I was first introduced to Rav Chaim Kanievsky, not just physically, but I was introduced to his gadlut . A fellow member of my Yeshiva showed me a postcard that he’d received from this rabbi, Rav Chaim Kanievsky, the son of the Steipler. He was 54 years old then, and not yet well known. He told me that you could send the Rabbi any question you wanted, with a self-addressed postcard, and he would answer. His question was, What was the sign/letter that Hashem put on Kayin? Rav Chaim answered that it was the letter Vav and he directed him to a certain page in the Zohar. Rav Chaim answered these questions, without taking out any books, and he did this for years. Sometimes the questions were silly. And this was Rav Chaim, who didn’t like to waste time. One of his family members once asked him why he did this, because sometimes it looked like the person didn’t even understand the question he was asking. But Rav Chaim explained that when someone sent him a question and got an answer from him, they’d get inspired and motivated. He wanted to give people hizuk . That’s the Avahat Yisrael of an Adam Gadol. As precious as his time was, he gave of his time. He also had set times that people knew they could visit his home. It was a public thoroughfare. Why? To give people hizuk. To give people inspiration and motivation. That is the ultimate Ahavat Yisrael- to give of yourself. Not just your physical self, but to give even of your spiritual self. He could have been learning more in that time, or growing more. But he used his precious time in order to give hizuk to young boys and children. He took out time to give them motivation and inspiration. That’s an Adam Gadol. Have a wonderful day.
We spoke on Friday about Lev Chana, an organization which gives out clothing cards to families in need. This past weekend, my father-in-law, Rabbi Nosson Scherman shlita, held a drive in the Yad Yosef Torah Center for Lev Chana, where he told the following story, which he heard directly from the protagonist: It was in the 1920s, when a young man named Reb Avraham Traub, whose father was a Rosh Yeshiva in Radin (the Chafetz Chaim’s Yeshiva) developed Typhus. It was a very dangerous disease in those days, before antibiotics. He did not have very good doctors, and he developed a dangerously high fever. The only doctor available in the town told the family that he had no hope, and that it was just a matter of time. His Chaveirim from yeshiva stayed at his bedside saying Tehilim, and his mother told them to run to Chafetz Chaim and tell him what was happening. So they ran and told the Chafetz Chaim that Avraham was deathly ill, and that the doctor said there was no hope. The Chafetz Chaim went into the next room and closed the door. The boys wanted to hear what he would say, how he would pray, what tehilim he would say… so they listened, and what he said was, “Hashem, if his grandfather did so much for You, how can You take away his grandson at such a young age? “ That was it. (Abraham’s grandfather had been a successful businessman and was also a Talmid Chacham. Whenever he heard that there was a Yeshiva in financial trouble, he would close his business and go around raising money for that yeshiva. Once he raised enough money, he would bring it to the Yeshiva and then go back and open his business again. He did a lot for the cause of Torah. ) The boys ran back to the house and Baruch Hashem, the fever had broken right at the time of the Chafetz Chaim’s short tefila. Avraham recovered, survived the war, and became a Rosh Yeshiva in the Stoliner Yeshiva of Boro Park, where I was the Menahel, at the time when he told me the story. You can see the Ahavat Yisrael clearly. His grandfather did so much for Torah, and because of that, the Chafetz Chaim said, “Ribbono Shel Olam, You have to help his grandson. The man did so much for You!” In other words, when you do something to help other Jews, You are doing it for Hashem. And therefore, the Chafetz Chaim said, Hashem, You must help him. To repeat the famous Midrash, Hashem says, if you take care of Mine, I will take care of yours. If you take care My children before a holiday, I will take care of your children. I like to say that I am selling happiness insurance. You spend a lot of money on Yom Tov, but who says that you’re going to be happy? When you spend money on making other people happy, you’re buying happiness insurance. Anyone who wishes to participate in this special mitzvah can click on this link https://www.rayze.it/levchana/ Or write a check made out to Lev Chana and mail it to Lev Chana c/o Rabbi David Sutton, 1059 E. 10th St., Brooklyn, NY, 11230. One can also reply to this email, or email me directly at rabbisutton@gmail.com, and a bill will be sent. You can also send a quickpay to: Rabbisutton@gmail.com Tizke Lemitzvot, and May Hashem bless everyone with happiness. Thank you and have a wonderful day.
It is now one day after Purim, and right after Purim, the Shulchan Aruch says, the first thing we are supposed to do is start thinking about Pesach. And the first thing brought down in the Rama is the concept of raising money for people in need, which is called Maot Chitin. Rabbi Elimelech Biderman says that David HaMelech says in Tehilim( 30,12), פִּתַּחְתָּ שַׂקִּי וַתְּאַזְּרֵנִי שִׂמְחָה׃ You opened/undid my sackcloth ( from mourning) and you girded me with joy Simply, this means, You undid my sadness and made me happy. You turned me around. But there is another way of explaining this, the Derush: A man came to a great rabbi and said, “ I have everything. I have family, I have a successful business, I have friends, I have everything. But I am not happy. Why aren’t I happy?” The rabbi told him this pasuk פִּתַּחְתָּ שַׂקִּי וַתְּאַזְּרֵנִי שִׂמְחָה But in this case, the word for sackcloth , Saki , can also mean pouch , like a money pouch. Open up your ( money ) pouch, give to others, and you’ll be girded with happiness. That is the rule- You can only be happy if you give to others. That is why the Sfat Emet says that the first special Parasha we read to start the season off is the Parasha of Shekalim . MiShenichnas Adar Marbim B’Simcha The month of Adar ( and Nisan, as Rashi says) brings much joy to our people. So we have almost 2 months of happiness. How do we start it off? Only with Shekalim . Only by giving to other people. If you are focused on yourself, you cannot be happy. You can only be happy when you think of others. Haman was called Haman Hatzar , which means enemy, but it also means tight . Rav Yitzhak Ezrachi, the Rosh Yeshiva of Mirrer says that Haman wasn’t happy, despite having everything in the world, because he was tzar/tight. He was in his own world. He was egoistic. He didn’t think about anyone else. Therefore, he was unhappy. To be happy, you must give. There was a great rabbi, Rav Shlomo of Zhil. When he was a young avrech in his late 20s, learning in kollel, he was poor. One Erev Shabbat, he had no money. He was an outstanding Talmud Chacham, even at his young age, and a man sick with a terrible disease once came to him, gave him money (as is customary when one goes to a rabbi), and asked for a beracha. The rabbi gave him a beracha and he was healed. Thirty years later, the disease came back, so he returned to the rabbi for another beracha. This time, the rabbi apologized and said he couldn’t help. The man asked why, if he was able to do it 30 years before, when he was a young man, and hardly known. Now he was a big rabbi with a Yeshiva and many hasidim. Why couldn’t he help? The rabbi explained, “ I didn’t help you then. I was poor then, and you gave, and made a poor man happy and that is what got you out of your problem.“ With that introduction, we are officially starting our annual drive for Lev Chana , an organization which gives cards to needy families, that they can redeem in certain clothing stores. I am starting early this year, and I am starting with this group of Ahavat Yisrael enthusiasts, because you love Jewish people and you want to help. The daily lessons are free, of course, but this is a great opportunity to give a little Hakarat HaTov , even though it doesn’t go to me. I am committed to giving out $150,00 and the money goes out before I raise it, so I am counting and relying on you to help out. Anyone who wishes to participate in this special mitzvah can click on this link https://www.rayze.it/levchana/ Or write a check made out to Lev Chana and mail it to Lev Chana c/o Rabbi David Sutton, 1059 E. 10th St., Brooklyn, NY, 11230. One can also reply to this email, or email me directly at rabbisutton@gmail.com , and a bill will be sent. You can quickpay to the email address above as well. Tizke Lemitzvot, and May Hashem bless everyone with happiness. Thank you. Rabbi David Sutton
Purim Sameach! At the end of Megilat Esther, it says, “ Mordechai was wanted by most of his brothers.” Rashi explains that it says most (and not all ) because part of the Sanhedrim distanced themselves from him when he became involved in government and wasn’t learning as much as he should. But the Ibn Ezra offers a different explanation for this. Mordechai was only wanted by most of his brothers, because, as he says, you can’t please everyone all the time . And the reason for this, says the Ibn Ezra is , בעבור קנאת אחים Because of jealousy of brothers. You can’t make everybody happy all the time, and it’s not because there is something wrong with you. It’s because there is something wrong with them . People are naturally jealous, and it is hard to see somebody else being successful. This is human nature. We can’t hide the fact or squelch those feelings. And if you are not aware of it, you can’t work on it. Human nature is such, that if one sees someone successful, it bothers him, because he’s jealous. Therefore, he’ll find something wrong with that person. Mordechai saved the Jewish nation; he was an Adam Gadol. There was nothing wrong with Mordechai, but people found something wrong because they were jealous. Jealousy is one of those basic of human natures. The Gaon of Vilna says that the two main Yetzer Hara s are jealousy and desire. If a person says they don’t have jealousy, then they are totally unaware of their Middot , because it’s a basic Middah . It goes all the way back to Kayin and Hevel. The root of the word Kayin is Kin’ah / jealousy . He was jealous of his brother. This is built into our make up. Human beings are jealous. The Gaon of Vilna says that this is why the last of the 10 Commandments, which includes everything, is Lo Tachmod/Don’t Covet. Because we are naturally jealous people. We have to be aware of that. If you find yourself putting down or finding fault in someone who has experienced some type of success, even if the faults are true, ask yourself where it’s coming from. Does it hurt to see that someone else has surpassed you? The Ibn Ezra points out this very powerful message, and it’s one of the final takeaways of Megilat Esther. Have a wonderful day and enjoy your Purim!
The Middah of Noseh B’Ol/Carrying the Yoke, is seen throughout Jewish leadership. The Yalkut Shemoni, in Yermiyah (327), says that at the time of the destruction of the first Bet HaMikdash, Hashem told Yirmiyah to go down with the Jewish people to Bavel, and Hashem would remain behind, or, Yirmiyah would stay, and Hashem would go with them to Bavel. Yirmiyah wondered how it would help if he were to go with them, and thought it better that Hashem went. So Hashem told Yirmiyah to remain behind. So Yirmiyah stayed behind. Nebuchadnezzar told his general, Nevuzaradan, who was killing everyone, not to touch Yirmiyah. Even this wicked king realized there was something special about Yirmiyah. Yirmiyah would see the young men walking, chained together, and he would put his hand amongst them, but Nevuzaradan removed him. He told Yirmiyah, “ Either you are a false prophet or you’re a masochist. What is going on here? You’ve been prophesying about the destruction and now your joining them? Why do you want to suffer? What are you doing? Are you a masochist? Yirmiyah replied, “I am going to be with them in their pain.” And Yirmiyah stayed there with them until Hashem revealed Himself. Hashem said, “ I am going to go with them, I am there together with them .” And it says “He is tied in chains.” As if to say Yirmiyah’s empathy brought about God’s empathy. This goes back to Moshe Rabbenu. It says he saw their pain, and after that it says, “ And God saw their pain.” When we feel someone else’s pain, that arouses God to feel their pain. Rashi uses almost the exact same words. It says about Moshe, he put his eyes on his heart, to feel their pain , and then it says a little later on, God placed His heart, and did not hide His eyes. So the eyes and the heart arouse a person. Moshe Rabbenu impacted that Hashem would now empathize. Because the way we act down here, causes Hashem to act that way upstairs. So the more that we empathize with the current situation, the more we arouse Hashem’s empathy. This happened at Yetziat Mitzrayim with Moshe and God. This happened at the Galut of the first Bet HaMikdash with Yirmiyah and Hashem, and it’s a constant way to arouse Hashem’s empathy in all situations. May we all see Yeshuot .
We are discussing lessons in Noseh B’Ol/ Carrying the yoke of your friend. In English we call it being empathetic ; feeling for the person in their time of difficulty, even if you aren’t in their situation. There is a difference between empathy and sympathy. When a person has sympathy for someone, they say , “I’m very sorry for what you are going through, and I feel bad ,” It comes from the outside. But empathy is when you say, “ I understand what you’re feeling, and I want to let you know that you are not alone. I’m with you.” This person is not just on the outside. When we have empathy, we do things for others, and that is how we are with them. The ultimate example of this is Moshe Rabbenu. The Elder of Kelm says that when the Torah first describes Moshe to us, all it discusses his middah of empathy. First, he went out and saw an Egyptian hit a Jew, and he killed him.. The next day, he saw a fight between two men. He got involved, and asked, “ Why are you hitting your friend?” In the third case, he saw that the shepherds were picking on Yitro’s daughter, and he got involved again. Moshe Rabbenu doesn’t sit by. When people are in trouble, he gets involved. That is the Middah of Noseh B’Ol. That is what made him into a leader. He left his comfortable palace and he went to be with his Jewish brothers. He literally carried their yoke for them. He put his head under their load and carried it with them.. That it is what it means to be a leader who has that trait of Noseh B’Ol/Feeling other people’s pain, rather than just being there on the outside, feeling bad for them. There was a famous man named Mike Tress (he was also known as Rabbi Elimelech Tress) . Artscroll published a book about him called, “ Call me Mike.” He was a great activist during war time, and he did everything to try and save the Jews. After the war, he traveled to Europe with a group of activists, to see what was going on in the DP (displaced persons) camps. One night, the others got nervous when they saw that he wasn’t with them at the hotel. When they finally found him in the morning, they asked him where he had been, and he said he slept in a DP camp. They asked him why he did that, and he answered, “ How could I go sleep in the lap of luxury in a hotel, and then come back to them? I slept with them.” He was empathetic to the point that he gave all of his money away to save Jews. They say he didn’t even have enough money to pay for his medicine. He felt that every dollar could save another Jew. Baruch Hashem, he was paid back with many, many special children and grandchildren, that follow in his ways. Hashem repays the righteous. This is a Jewish sign of greatness and leadership- We empathize, not just sympathize.
Due to the times that we are in, we continue with the concept of Noseh B’Ol/Carrying the yoke of your friends, empathizing when somebody is suffering. We can go back to the times of Yetziat Mitzrayim with Moshe Rabbenu to learn about Noseh B’Ol. We also learn about it from Hashem Himself, as He appeared to Moshe Rabbenu in the burning bush. And when Hashem appeared to the Jewish people, it says that they saw God, so to say, on the throne, and under His feet, was a sapphire brick. What sapphire brick? Rashi tells us that when the Jewish people were suffering in Mitzrayim, God put a brick under His legs to remember that His people were suffering. Later, when they got out, He turned it into a shining, sapphire brick, because they were no longer in Galut . From this, the rabbis bring out an unbelievable concept. Of course, Hashem is doing this to teach us, but He used a reminder, to remind Himself that His people were suffering. If that’s the case, surely we humans need reminders as well. During these times, we should do things to remind ourselves as well. This doesn’t mean that we have to abstain from everything, but it has to be on our minds. Many years ago, at the beginning of the intifada, there were horrible terror attacks, and they did very gruesome things. There was a picture in the newspaper of an Arab after he killed a Je w, with his bloody hands proudly raised in the air. Rav Yissachar Frand cut the picture out of the newspaper and put it on his closet door, so that when he woke up in the morning and got dressed for his day, he would have a reminder of what was going on. Everybody should try and do some thing, in whatever way that speaks to them. I am not advocating that you get a newspaper or go online, but if you happen to see a picture of a train load full of people, or a bombed out building, or a mother carrying her baby, or any other sight that talks to you, cut it out and stick it on your windshield. Do something to remember that it is not business as usual. Pray for these people, have them on your mind. And ask Hashem to bring the ultimate Yeshua . Besorot Tovot
We are discussing lessons in Noseh B’Ol/ Carrying the yoke of your friend. In English we call it being empathetic ; feeling for the person in their time of difficulty, even if you aren’t in their situation. There is a difference between empathy and sympathy. When a person has sympathy for someone, they say , “I’m very sorry for what you are going through, and I feel bad ,” It comes from the outside. But empathy is when you say, “ I understand what you’re feeling, and I want to let you know that you are not alone. I’m with you.” This person is not just on the outside. When we have empathy, we do things for others, and that is how we are with them. The ultimate example of this is Moshe Rabbenu. The Elder of Kelm says that when the Torah first describes Moshe to us, all it discusses is his middah of empathy. First, he went out and saw an Egyptian hit a Jew, and he killed him.. The next day, he saw a fight between two men. He got involved, and asked, “ Why are you hitting your friend?” In the third case, he saw that the shepherds were picking on Yitro’s daughter, and he got involved again. Moshe Rabbenu doesn’t sit by. When people are in trouble, he gets involved. That is the Middah of Noseh B’Ol. That is what made him into a leader. He left his comfortable palace and he went to be with his Jewish brothers. He literally carried their yoke for them. He put his head under their load and carried it with them.. That it is what it means to be a leader who has that trait of Noseh B’Ol/Feeling other peoples pain, rather than just being there on the outside, feeling bad for them. There was a famous man named Mike Tress (he was also known as Rabbi Elimelech Tress) . Artscroll published a book about him called, “ Call me Mike.” He was a great activist during war time, and he did everything to try and save the Jews. After the war, he traveled to Europe with a group of activists, to see what was going on in the DP (displaced persons) camps. One night, they got nervous when they saw he wasn’t with them at the hotel. When they finally found him in the morning, they asked him where he had been, and he said he slept in a DP camp. They asked him why he did that, and he answered, “ How could I go sleep in the lap of luxury in a hotel, and come back to them? I slept with them.” He was empathetic to the point that he gave all of his money away to save Jews. They say he didn’t even have enough money to pay for his medicine. He felt that every dollar could save another Jew. Baruch Hashem, he was paid back with many, many special children and grandchildren, that follow in his ways. Hashem repays the righteous. That is a Jewish sign of greatness and leadership. We empathize, not just sympathize.
We are discussing that we should feel the pain of those that are suffering in the Ukraine, during the current war. It is devastating and harrowing. Some people may wonder, if they have no connection to the community or the people there, what it has to do with them. That is a mistake. As we know, all Jewish people are one. There was once a trial in Europe, where there a was a libel case against a Jew. It caused many attacks on Jews, accusing us of saying that gentiles were animals, and things of that sort. The judge asked Rabbi Shapiro (the rabbi who started the Dof Yomi) to explain the Gemarah that said that the Jewish people are called a man , whereas the goyim were not. Did that mean that the goyim were considered animals? The rabbi explained that it didn’t mean that at all. The Jewish people being called a man means that they are considered like one man. The Jewish people view themselves as one person. He told the judge that proof of this could be found in the fact that there were so many Jews at the trial, there to support a fellow Jew. Jews had come from all different countries, and they did not even know the man on trial. The Jewish people are all one. It does not make a difference if the languages are different, nor the customs or the place of birth. I recently heard a beautiful story from Rabbi Raymond Sultan, known from his work with the Sephardic Heritage Museum and Sephardic Food Fund. He also was involved in redoing the graves at Har HaZetim, where my great- grandfather is buried. He does many great things. He was recently involved in saving Jews from Yemen. Due to his experience and helping evacuate Jews from Yemen, he got involved in getting Jews out of Ukraine, through Budapest to Eretz Yisrael, via buses, trains and even planes. Planes are the easiest way out. It’s much faster and the people don’t have to be packed in like cattle cards. But it costs $80,000 to charter a plane from Ukraine to Eretz Yisrael. A man approached Rabbi Sultan and said that when he got out of Syria, it was because somebody paid for his plane. And now, Baruch HaShem, he was able to afford it and he offered to sponsor a plane, for $80,000. This was to help strangers, from a different country, that he didn’t know- Because we are all one. He didn’t know who paid for his plane, and now he is paying for their plane. That is the beauty of the Jewish people. We are all considered one person, regardless of our background or nationality. We have to constantly remember that. May we hear Yeshuot and Besorot Tovot.
We are going to take a break from the Bet HaLevi, in order to remind ourselves of the important principles that one is supposed to think about during a time of war, when Jewish people are suffering. There is a story told about the Chafetz Chaim, when he was an older man. One night, his wife woke up and saw that her husband wasn’t in bed. She got scared, and went to look for him. She found sleeping on the cold, muddy floor. She was shocked and wondered what had happened. Did he fall out of bed? When he woke up, she asked him what happened and he explained that it was wartime, and there were Jewish soldiers in foxholes, in danger. How could he sleep in his comfortable bed, with his comfortable pillow? As it says about Hashem, “ Imo Anochi B’Tsara/ Hashem is with us when we are in pain . Hashem’s revelation to Moshe Rabbenu was in the burning bush. Why? Because when the Jewish people were suffering, Hashem dwelled in a bush. There is an important principle in our religion called Noseh B’Ol Havero/ To carry the yoke with your friend. It might not make any sense to the outsider, because if you aren’t doing anything to help, what is the sense in that? But Middot-wise, if someone else is suffering, how can you enjoy yourself? It is a lack of empathy. We don’t necessarily have to do what the Chafetz Chaim did, but everybody, on their level, has to have a little bit of feeling for what is going on, and not just remain complacent. Another example of this concept was when Rav Aharon Kotler would not put sugar in his tea or coffee during war time. He didn’t fast, or skip the coffee, but it was just a little something, a reminder. Maybe on our level, when we buy ice cream, we can skip the chocolate chips… whatever it may be. A person is supposed to be aware and cognizant that our fellow brethren are suffering in a dangerous, precarious situation. And we have to pray for them, of course. Many shuls are saying extra Tehilim and extra prayers. We should all have our brethren on our minds.
In this special video Click Link below- https://www.dropbox.com/s/g7dd0ptm9sym4vn/VID-20220308-WA0005.mp4?dl=0, you can see a crowded train platform. There is no room, and people are stuffing in like cattle cars. It looks like it’s from the times of the Holocaust. The people are traveling for days without food water or bathrooms. They have to turn the lights off because the Russians are bombing the trains. That is how the people are getting out of the country. One of the women in the video is known as Sheitel Macher, or wig lady. You can see that the people are trying to pass her child to her, but they are not able to, because of the crowd, so she ends up getting off the train. This harrowing scene was sent to me by Rabbi Raymond Sultan, who has been involved in getting thousands of Jews out, paying for buses and trains. People have even donated money in order to take out plane- loads of Jews. This is an Et Tsara, a time of difficulty, no different than the Holocaust, where we could have saved lives just with money. If you’d like to help, please send a check to Sephardic Heritage Museum 25 West 39th street New York New York 10018 Attn Marc Nudelman Memo: Ukraine Emergency Fund Or click here https://sephardicheritagemuseum.com/donate/# These funds will go directly to paying to get these people out. It is $4000 per bus. People don’t want to drive the buses, because it is dangerous. Rabbi Sultan told me that a few days ago, the Russians gave permission to let a few busloads of civilians out of one of the towns that they have already occupied. Then, as they were leaving, the Russians bombed the buses. They have absolutely no mercy and it is an extremely dangerous situation. The Russians are looting the homes in the towns that they have already taken over. We have to do whatever we can to try and help our people get out. Maybe only see Besorot Tovot and Yeshuot.
Up until now, we have been discussing the mitzvah of Rebuke . The simple meaning of rebuke is that when you see somebody sin or do something wrong, you tell them. The Rambam in Hilchot De’ot chapter 6 adds an additional understanding to what rebuke means. He brings it into the pasuk, “ Don’t hate your friends, rather rebuke him.” If you don’t rebuke your friend, for a sin between man and God, that means that you don’t really care for him. If you cared for him, you would try to fix his act. The Rambam adds to the explanation. He says that when a person’s friend sins to him, he shouldn’t hate him and be quiet, like it says regarding the wicked people, “ Avshalom didn’t speak to Amnon at all, neither good nor bad, because he hated him.” It is not a good thing to keep it inside when someone hurts you, or bothers you, unless it is because you want to work on yourself and forgive him. However, if you don’t forgive him, and you walk around being upset with a person, that is wrong. That is the way wicked people act, says the Rambam. He says that it is one of the 613 Mitzvot, a positive commandment, no different than Mezuzah, tefilin, etrog lulav matzah or tzizit. It’s a mitzva to say, “ Why did you do this to me?“ Why did you block my driveway yesterday ? because it says, “ Rebuke your friend.” Here rebuke doesn’t mean you did something wrong to God . Here it means you did something wrong to me . It’s a mitzva to tell the person. Either that, or work on yourself to get it out of your heart. If you don’t tell him, he will never be able to ask forgiveness. Quite often, once you tell somebody, you find out that the person didn’t mean what you thought he meant. You were mindreading without even know what happened. Give him the chance to defend himself. Say, “ It seems like xyz….” We have a responsibility to clarify things. Rav Wolbe says that Tochacha doesn’t really mean rebuke . It means to prove or clarify . When something is clear or apparent, we say it’s Muchach . Clarify the situation. It is a Mitzvah in the Torah, that when someone does something wrong to you, you have a responsibility to clarify it- This is an unbelievable Hiddush . Furthermore, after you’ve told the person and he asks for forgiveness, you have to forgive. Don’t be cruel and not forgive the person. The pasuk says that after Avimelelch kidnapped Sara, Avraham prayed for him. He forgave him, and prayed for him. That is the Jewish way. To recap, Rebuke is not just when someone sins to God, rebuke is also when someone sins to you Have a wonderful day.
We continue with the Bet HaLevi‘s theme that rebuke comes from love. The lack of rebuke comes from a lack of concern. As the pasuk says, “Do not hate your brother in your heart, rather give rebuke to your friend.“ The Sefer Pardes Yosef points out that in first part of this pasuk it says “your brother,” and in the second part it says “your friend.” He explains that it is because the rebuke has to come from a friendship. Furthermore, when you rebuke a person, you can’t turn him into a sinner, because then the words will not have an impact on him. When you rebuke a person, you have to make him feel like he is still special. When it comes out of hatred, rebuke will not make an impact. He says that is why the Gemara says in Masechet Yoma that the Bet HaMikdash was destroyed for Sinat Hinam, whereas in Shabbat (119b) it says it was destroyed because they didn’t rebuke each other. He says that these are the same thing. Because they hated each other, it’s not just that they didn’t rebuke, but rather? that they may have rebuked, but rebuke that comes from hatred does not have an impact. You can only have an impact on someone when you love them. Therefore, it wasn’t that they did not rebuke, but rather that they did it improperly. It didn’t come from the right place. There is a famous commentary on Mishleh 9,8, brought down by many (namely the Alshech in Kedoshim 19,17), which says, אַל־תּוֹכַח לֵץ פֶּן־יִשְׂנָאֶךָּ הוֹכַח לְחָכָם וְיֶאֱהָבֶךָּ׃ Don’t rebuke a scoffer, lest he hates you. Rebuke the wise man, then he will love you. Simply, this means, don’t rebuke the scoffer, do rebuke the wise man. But the Alshech says that when you rebuke him, do not call him a scoffer. Rather, rebuke the wisemen. In other words, tell him that he is wise, and do it in a way that will not cause him to hate you. That is the proper way to give over rebuke. If you tell the person that he is wicked right away, you will not have an impact. Rebuke must always come out of a place of love, and the person has to feel that he is still special in your eyes. Otherwise, it does not work. The Gemarah in Masechet Erechim (16b) says, Rav Yochanan Ben Uri (one of the Tannaim) says,” I testify by the heavens and the earth, Many times Rabbi Akiva was hit by me, because I used to complain about him to Raban Gomliel. (It may not mean that he physically hit him, but he got whacked by his Rabbi, so to say) And it caused more love between them. And he quotes the pasuk above “do not hate your brother in your heart, rather give rebuke to your friend.“ If, after you have rebuked, it does not increase love, that means that you did not rebuke properly. Have a wonderful day
The Gemarah in Masechet Sotah(41 a)says, מיום שגברה אגרופה של חנופה From the day that the fist of flattery became strong…. and then continues on with a long down hill list of what happened to the Jewish people. The Ben Ish Chai, in his sefer Ben Yoyada is bothered by the use of the words “fist of flattery.” Rashi says it’s because a fist represents strength, like a fist used to punch. When we say flattery, we are referring to when someone is doing something wrong, and rather than tell the person that they are doing wrong, or give them proper feedback, you do the opposite and tell him everything is fine, because you don’t want to get involved. It is too much of a hassle to give people feedback, so you ignore it. As we said yesterday, you are not doing anyone any favors this way. The Ben ish Chai explains that people usually flatter this way because they want to get pleasure or benefit out of it. For example, a person thinks he is benefiting by not telling the boss that his jokes are improper, or off-color, and just laughing along instead. (The Chafetz Chaim actually discusses a case where boss speaks lashon hara and an employee doesn’t want to say anything, and he calls this Hanufa/flattery. The Ben Ish Chai explains that the term /אגרופהfist” is used to depict a “fistful,” because the person wants a fistful of benefits. He also points out that the word חנופהHanufa can be rescrambled a number of ways, to indicate deeper meaning: It can be rescrambled into 1-חפונה/ hafuna. A hofen is a large amount, or scoop of benefits. You flatter someone to get benefits. 2- חן פה chen peh -when you flatter someone, you think you get charm through your mouth ( you don’t, quite the opposite) 3- נפוחה nefucha, which means bloated or swelled, because when you flatter someone, you try to bloat them with arrogance. 4- נוחפה/ to cover up You cover up the person’s weaknesses when you flatter. 5- In the name of his son Rabbi Yaakov, the Ben Ish Chai says that sometimes in our language, certain letters are interchangeable. The ה heh of חנופה Hanufa can be interchanged with an Aleph, because the sounds of the heh and aleph come from the same part of the mouth (whereas other sounds are formed from teeth, tongue, lips etc), so Hanufa can rescrambled into חנו אף hanu-af which means anger dwells there, because the Gemarah says flattery brings anger to the world. A flatterer may think that he is going to find charm by flattering a person, but he doesn’t realize that it brings anger upon the world. So the BeH Ish Chai explains the flatterer is out to get a fistful of pleasure, which is why the term “fist of flattery,” is used. Furthermore, he’s also trying to gain charm through his mouth, he covers up the man’s sins and causes the person to become bloated as well, but the real end is that it just brings anger to the world. Flattery comes from an underlying hatred. If you cared about a person, you would tell him what he did wrong. Have a wonderful day.
We have been talking about the quality of giving musar/ rebuke, when it comes from love. The Bet HaLevi talks about the negativity of a middah called Hanufa , which we translate as flattery, but it really means to praise a wicked person and not rebuke them. Why is this so terrible? He says that Hanufa comes from the ultimate hate that one has for a friend. The reason why a person flatters someone, and doesn’t point out his faults, is because he really doesn’t care about him. He doesn’t want to rebuke him, so he causes him to continue in his bad ways. If he really loved and cared for him, he would want to get him on the right path. This is what he calls the ultimate hate. This hate is not the type of hate where you’d see a person punching somebody in the face. It’s more of the famous saying, “ Live and let live .“ I once said that the statement should really be, “ live and let die.“ If the guy is sinning, he is getting into trouble. You can’t just sit by and let him do it. If you really care about somebody, you want to help him. Of course, it has to come out of care and concern. Quite often, it comes out of ego and competition. That’s why, if a person doesn’t know how to give proper musar , he can’t give it, because it will backfire. Proper musar is only when the recipient feels that it’s coming from love. We might not be able to do that today. But we have to understand that a lack of musar is not because the person is a peace-loving man. Not giving musar , not helping someone, when they are doing the wrong thing, because you don’t want to cause friction, or because it’s more comfortable this way or easier, that is not love. In fact, Shlomo HaMelech makes the following very harrowing statement, “ Spare the rod, hate your child.” Most people think that he said, “ Spare the rod, spoil the child.” But that is not what Shlomo HaMelech said. Maybe that was Dr Spock. Shlomo HaMelech said Spare the rod, hate the child. What does that mean? If I don’t hit my child I hate my child? It seems like the opposite, if I hit him, I hate him. But that’s not it. If you hit him, you love him. It’s hard to hit a child. Of course, today we don’t hit, because children don’t know how to accept it. But hitting doesn’t just mean hitting. It means disciplining. Disciplining is difficult. It might be easier to just give the child a lollipop. It is easier to ignore him. But that is not love. If you aren’t loving, you are hating. There is no parve middle-ground here. If someone doesn’t rebuke their child because they are just too uncomfortable, or because it is too complicated, that is not loving the child. That is loving yourself. If you love yourself, and you don’t do what you’re supposed to do for another person, that is called hate. This is a very heavy statement, and people do not like to hear these kinds of things. But just letting people do what they want is not love. If I remember correctly, the Ben Ish Chai tells the following story: There was a thief once who got caught, and was being taken to the gallows for his multiple crimes. They asked him for his final wish, which was to see his mother. But when he saw his mother, he yelled at her, and they wondered why this was his final wish. The man was on the way to the gallows and he had nothing better to do than berate his mother? The thief answer that it was his mother’s fault. She never gave him musar after his first crime. She thought it was cute. She never said anything, and that is why he became what he became. Of course, we can’t blame everything on our mother. That is not the point of of the story. The point is that when you ignore someone’s weaknesses, because it’s easier or more convenient, where is that coming from? It’s easier to just write on a report card, “Doing great.” It is easier not to give feedback. But that is why the flatterer, the one that does not give mussar, is really so detrimental. Tomorrow, we will discuss how the Bet HaLevi uses this concept to explain a difficult Gemarah. Have a wonderful day.
We continue with the Bet HaLevi’s discussion that rebuke has to come from love. He quotes a pasuk in Mishleh (3,12) כִּי אֶת־אֲשֶׁר יֶאֱהַב ה׳ יוֹכִיחַ וּכְאָב אֶת־בֵּן יִרְצֶה The one who God loves, He rebukes, like a father to a son that wants. What does wants mean? Rashi says that after the father rebukes the son, the father wants to appease him and do good for him. That is human nature. After a father has to rebuke his child, he wants rekindle the relationship. It hurts to be in that situation. When I was about 3-5 years old and living in Silver Springs, I remember being punished by my father and sent to my room, probably for fighting with my younger brother. I still remember my mother smuggling some snack into the room. That’s the way it is- you punish your child, but feel scared that your relationship will be weakened, so you try to soften it. So too, Rashi says, that after someone gets rebuked by Hashem, there will be an added sweetness. The Bet Levi’s point is that we have to emulate God. Our rebuke has to be like the parent who doesn’t want to lose the relationship. When you give someone mussar, you have to have the feeling of wanting to smuggle a snack into the room. If you don’t do it this way, it won’t work. That is what Rashi says. Rabbenu Yonah, in Shaar Teshuva ( Shaar 2, אות ד) quotes from the Sifri in Devarim that says, “Rabbi Eliezer ben Yaakov says, As long as a person is serene, his sins are not forgiven. (But)Through suffering, he becomes wanted by God,” and he quotes the above pasuk from Mishleh כִּי אֶת־אֲשֶׁר יֶאֱהַב ה׳ יוֹכִיחַ וּכְאָב אֶת־בֵּן יִרְצֶה Hashem gives mussar, and just like a father wants to get along with his son afterwards, so too, with God. But he adds another explanation. The father only rebukes the son that he wants, and he doesn’t rebuke the children that he gave up on, because he knows it won’t help them. And, as we’ve said, this is the way God works. He only gives mussar to the children that He knows it will help. It’s the same with our friends. We aren’t here to beat people up. If you know it’s not going to work, don’t even go there. It’s not about bashing people, it’s about helping to fix a person. These are important lessons, because if we don’t know how to rebuke, we can’t rebuke. Have a wonderful day.
Today we continue with a concept from our previous class, on Parashat Vayakhel, with something I just noticed in my tefilla: Every morning, in our Shaharit we say (and Sepharadim stand up to say ) ויְבָ֤רֶךְ דָּוִיד֙ אֶת יה-וה לְעֵינֵ֖י כׇּל־הַקָּהָ֑ל וַיֹּ֣אמֶר דָּוִ֗יד בָּר֨וּךְ אַתָּ֤ה ה׳ אֱלֹקי יִשְׂרָאֵ֣ל אָבִ֔ינוּ מֵעוֹלָ֖ם וְעַד־עוֹלָֽם David HaMelech blessed God in front of everybody, And David said, Blessed are you Hashem, the God of Israel, our father forever and ever. In many of the Sephardic siddurim, it says in brackets [Rashei Tovot ודאי ] meaning that the first letters of each of the first four words spellsודאי Vadai, which means For sure. This means that when David HaMelech got up to speak, he spoke with conviction, without questions. Furthermore, it says that ודאי Vadai has the same numerical value, 21, as אהיה, Ehyeh, another of Hashem’s names, which we discussed last week. Very nice. Then, the last few words of the stanza (before we sit down) are, אַתָּה הוּא֙ יה-וה׳ הָאֱלֹהִ֔ים You are Hashem our God. The first letters of these words are Aleph Heh Yud and Heh which also spells Eyheh א ה י ה So the beginning and end of this statement have the same אהיה Ehyeh, which we now know is the name of Hashem that is revealed, and purifies the Jewish people when they are together, as in Vayakhel (which has the same numerical value as Mikveh) And it says לְעֵינֵ֖י כׇּל־הַקָּהָ֑ל In front of the entire Jewish people… When the entire Jewish people are together, God’s holy name of אהיה Ehyeh appears in front of them, and purifies them. I never fully appreciated the connection between the kahal and the revelation of this powerful purifying name of אהיה. When we talk about David HaMelech as doing this, the Rambam in Hilchot Melachim tells us, regarding a king, ולא יסור לבבו שלבו הוא לב כל קהל ישראל לפיכך דבקו הכתוב בתורה יתר משאר העם שנאמר כל ימי חייו His heart should not be removed from God, for his heart is the heart of the entire Jewish people. The Torah wants his heart to cleave more than everybody else, as it says his heart is the heart of all of Israel. David HaMelech was the first king, and he is the heart of the Jewish people. He unites everybody and he must be connected to God. All of this brings about the purification of the Jewish people. We can think about this when we say, every day in our tefilot… וַיְבָ֤רֶךְ דָּוִיד֙ אֶת ה׳ לְעֵינֵ֖י כׇּל־הַקָּהָ֑ל David HaMelech blessed God in front of everybody.
There is a sefer Ahavat Shalom by one of the Hasidim. In Parashat Vayakhel he says something fascinating. It’s slightly kabbalistic, but worthwhile. Hashem has many names. The first one that He reveled to Moshe Rabbenu was אהיה אשר אהיה I will be that I will be. God acts to us like we act to Him. Some people won’t even pronounce this name, as with God’s other names. There are many secrets to this name. The Arizal says that if we spell out each letter of the name אהיה , Eh-yeh ( by a process called Milui ) we get Aleph, Heh, Yud, Heh אלפ , הה , יוד , הה The numerical value of these letters add up to 151. This is the same numerical value as Mikveh מקוה A body of water that purifies. He says that when the Jewish people gather together, it arouses this name of God, and they get a tremendous enlightening, equal to go into a Mikveh. The power of the Jewish people coming together in and of itself is like a Mikveh! It’s interesting that on Yom Kippur, the Mishnah says, “ Rabbi Akiva says, Fortunate are the Jewish people, before Whom are you purifying, And Who purifies you? Your father in heaven. As it says, Hashem is the Mikveh of the Jewish people.” Hashem’s name is the Mikveh. Right before this, the Mishnah says that If you don’t get along with your friends, Yom Kippur cannot atone for those sins.” In order to get the kapara of Yom Kippur, you have to be together with your friends. Because that is what brings the purity down. Purity comes down when we are together. The Jewish people, united, is a Mikveh. What Mikveh ? The Mikveh of Hashem. What an unbelievable concept! As we know, Yom Kippur is K’Purim/like Purim. Why? One of the explanations is that Purim is the ultimate day of Ahavah . We give Mishloach Manot , we give Matanot L’Evyonim , we are happy… this brings a Purity down. It’s Yom K’Purim. . Purim is the higher level. Kippur is like Purim . But Purim is the ultimate Mikveh, because we have that Achdut / unity. I once heard something from the sefer Ahavat Shalom, which fits in beautifully with this week’s Parasha and Ahavat Yisrael . It’s a gift from Hashem: It says that the numerical value of the word Vayakhel / And they assembled , adds up to 151, the same amount as Mikveh , because when the Jewish people gather, that’s the Mikveh . Mikveh means to gather. It’s a gathering of water. God gathered the waters together. Moshe Rabbenu brought the Jewish people together, and that has the power of Mikveh. So the word Mikveh in itself means to come together . What an unbelievable thought! So this is going to be like a Mikveh. Right after this, it says Shabbat . This is one of the sources that you need to go to Mikveh before Shabbat. This is something many men do, because in order to bring down the beautiful kedusha, you need a Mikveh. As the pasuk in tehilim says, לב טהר ברא Lev Tahor Bara… God should created a pure heart when the first letters of each word ל , ט , ב are scrambled, it spells טבל - Taval, dipping. You dip in the Mikveh, you unite with the Jewish people, and it creates a new heart. These are unbelievable kabbalistic thoughts, but the bottom line is it means that when you gather yourself with the Jewish people, a light of God comes down upon you and brings a purification. Furthermore ( for extra credit) the Kaf Hachaim says that the numerical value of אהיה Ehyeh is 21. Hoshana Raba is the 21st day of Tishri. On that 21st day, this light comes out, which is the final purification of the Jewish people. If the Gematria is too much, just think about this- We are working on Ahavat Yisrael, which is like jumping into a Mikveh. Rabbi Ades once taught us something about this: Many years ago, on Lag B’Omer, we went straight from Meron to see Rabbi Ades. We got there right before the end of Lag B’Omer. We told him we went to Sfat, and to the Mikveh Arizal. And Rabbi Ades told us that if we want a Mikveh Arizal, every time you walk into your house and there are challenges, getting along with your wife, with your children, if they were hassles, and you are able to keep your composure, that is a Mikveh. Just like when you dive into the Mikveh Arizal and it’s ice cold, but you are ready for it and you get a thrill, because you were getting purified, so too, every time you walk into your house and you get along with your family, that is a Mikveh. So let us appreciate the power of Vayakhel , the Mikveh, and also Shabbat… It says on Shabbat, don’t light a fire- This means the fire of anger, because Shabbat is the day where we supposed to have the Mikveh, the purification of togetherness. Water symbolizes purity, not the fire of anger and dissension. Have a Shabbat Shalom and a wonderful day.
We have been talking about the proper way to give rebuke. It has to come from love. Believe it or not, the Zohar gives us a technique. The Zohar is full of deep secrets, and here we have what can be described as a modern day parenting technique, taught to us by the holy Zohar. The Zohar says that it says Hoheach Tocheah- Rebuke, you shall rebuke - in double language. Although we mentioned yesterday that it should be in hiding, the Zohar says that the first rebuke shouldn’t be in hiding- there is an even more subtle level, which is that you tell him something about someone else, like a story, and you don’t relate it directly to him. For example, if you notice that somebody is not careful with lashon hara , instead of approaching him privately and confronting him directly, tell him a story about the Chafetz Chaim ….for example, The Chafetz Chaim once met someone on a train, who asked him where he lives. The Chafetz Chaim mentioned that he lives in the town of Radin. The man asked if he knew the holy Sadik, the Chafetz Chaim… and the Chafetz Chaim answered, “Calm down, he’s not so holy.” The man was so upset, he slapped the Chafetz Chaim and reprimanded him for speaking like that about the Chafetz Chaim. The man didn’t know it was the Chafetz Chaim that he was speaking with, there were no pictures back then. “ The lesson,” said the Chafetz Chaim, “was that not only can’t you speak lashon hara about other people, but you can’t even speak lashon hara out about yourself.” So in our example, you could tell that story to the person who isn’t careful with Lashon hara . This way, you aren’t giving him mussar , you are giving him a nice lesson. Rabbi Ades said that this is the best way to train children. Tell them stories. But don’t ask, “ What’s the lesson here,” Or you lose the whole point. Just tell stories. But kids are very smart. I remember when one of my children were young and very smart and said they didn’t like hearing these stories, because they knew what we were up to. Assuming that most children are not so sophisticated, just tell them nice light stories, or just tell over stories that the rabbi said, at your table. If you only do it once, they might realize that you’re trying to get a lesson across, but if you get into this story telling habit, and you always tell nice stories about various topics, that is a great way to give Mussar without giving Mussar . This is advice from the holy Zohar. Have a great day.
The Bet Halevi quotes a pasuk from Parashat Kedoshim, “ Don’t hate your brother in your heart; rather rebuke him.” He also quotes the Zohar that says that rebuke has to come from love. “ Show him a great amount of love; your concern should be that he should not be punished .” The reason for this is, as a pasuk in Mishleh says, “ God rebukes the one that He loves.” And in everything that we do, we have to emulate God. As we mentioned yesterday, the fact that we are in Galut for all these years does not come from a vengeful, angry God. It comes from a loving God, who loves people and cares for them, and therefore, rebukes them. Furthermore, Hashem only rebukes those that He loves. Hashem has a system. First, He rebukes a person in privacy, so that no one knows about it. It’s his own personal issue. Then, if the rebuke is not accepted, Hashem rebukes him in front of his friends, so that only his inner circle knows. And then if not, it gets even more public. But if, ultimately, the person still doesn’t listen, Hashem says, “ I am not here to punish. I’m just trying to make him better.” So too, this is how we should be with our fellow man. The Tomar Devorah quotes the concept that Hashem says, “ I tried rebuking but it is not working, I’ll stop rebuking.” There comes a point in time when you’ve tried and tried, but it doesn’t work. Many years ago, my father and I visited a great psychologist, Dr Rabbi Greeenwald, in Bayit Vegan. We asked him to tell us a powerful story. He said there was once a young man who went of the Derech , and as much as his parents tried to stop him, to change him, to rebuke him, it did not work. They asked Dr. Greeenwald for help, and he told them that there is nothing more powerful than love. Love is stronger than death. He advised the mother that after the boy came home from a night of partying and woke up at 10 AM the next day, she should scramble him some eggs and make him a nice breakfast. He also suggested that she iron his clothing before he goes out to party. He told her to just show the boy love, as obviously, the other approach was not working. Eventually the boy turned around. Of course, one has to seek advice from someone who knows what they are doing, but the point is that rebuke only comes from love, and the same love that is there in the omelettes and the ironing is there in the rebuke. That is the only way that rebuke works. Don’t hate your brother in your heart, rather rebuke him. Rebuke must not come from hate, that is the only way it works.. Have a wonderful day.
Many people are bothered by the principle that in any generation in which the Bet HaMikdash is not rebuilt, it is as if it was destroyed in their days. They think that’s a big jump. Maybe we aren’t on the level that the Bet HaMikdash should be built , but who’s to say it should be destroyed ? In other words, for example, I might not like you enough to buy you a gold watch, but that doesn’t mean that if I already gave you a gold watch, I would take it away. Maybe we are somewhere in the middle. Giving a gold watch to someone means that I have to spend money, and go through efforts…. I might not be ready to do all that, but taking something away from someone is a whole different story. That takes much more effort. The Bet HaLevi is bothered by this: How can we see, by the fact that the Bet HaMikdash has not been rebuilt, that in truth, it would be destroyed if it were here? He says that with human beings, in truth, there is a difference between giving and taking away. For human beings, it requires more effort to take away than it does to not give. So, going back to the gold watch metaphor, not giving you a gold watch is not the same thing as giving you a gold watch and then taking it away. Maybe I don’t want give you one, but if I have already given you one, I would just leave it. That is the way human beings work. Taking some thing away is a much bigger statement for a human being. It’s a bigger hassle, and it takes more effort. But when it comes to God, it is a whole different story. The Nefesh HaChaim and many other sefarim explain an important principle about this: a Creator is different than a craftsman . A craftsman can make a table and leave the scene. He could even die and the table will still stand, because the craftsman only formed the table, he did not create it. On the other hand, Creation means making some thing from nothing , which we call Yesh M’Ayin (ex nihilo in latin) . To make some thing from nothing, you can’t leave the scene, because you constantly have to will the existence of this item. It does not have its own independence. If Hashem would, so to say, leave the scene of creation (which is impossible) there wouldn’t be anything here. He constantly needs to pump existence into creation. Therefore, for God to take something away, and for God to not give something, is exactly the same. For example, it takes a lot of effort to get rid of a house, whether by collapsing or destroying it. But it doesn’t really take that much effort for God. The house is standing, because God is pumping energy into the house, and in order for the house to cease to exist, God does not have to take it away, it would only require His not giving (which is the same as giving the house to begin with). We can use one of my favorite mashals to explain this: There is an amusement park item called a moonwalk, or a bounce house; It’s a fabric contraption that fills up with air, and kids bounce around in it. Imagine if you had to use a hand-crank generator to power it. As long you crank the generator, the air pumps into the moonwalk so the kids can jump on it. To get the moonwalk to stop would be the same as keeping it going. All you would have to do is stop turning and it would stop working and collapse. It doesn’t take extra energy to stop it. If anything, it takes more energy to keep the moonwalk going than to have the moonwalk disappear, because you have to keep pumping energy into it. That is why, says the Bet HaLevi, there is no difference to God in making the Bet HaMikdash or taking it away. If He hasn’t given it to us, that means that if we did have it, He would have taken it away. It’s exactly the same. There is no more effort on God’s part to make something exist or take it away. Taking it away just means not giving. When God takes something away, it means that He’s just not giving it anymore. There is no such thing as us having anything. It is always God pumping energy into it. The heart is pumping because Hashem makes it keep pumping. There is no difference between stopping and keeping it going. There is nothing that is inherently there. This is a deep concept, which the Bet HaLevi applies to explain the fundamental that the Bet HaMikdash being destroyed is the equivalent of it not being built. Have a wonderful day.
We have been talking about the principle that a sin that is not recognized is a more difficult sin to fix. The Sinat Hinam that was going on in the times of the Second Bet HaMikdash, and the Sinat Hinam that goes on today, is difficult to fix, because we don’t realize our sin. There is a pasuk in Yirmiyah (chapter 2, pasuk 35) where God says, הִנְנִי נִשְׁפָּט אוֹתָךְ עַל־אׇמְרֵךְ לֹא חָטָאתִי I am judging you for saying, “I have not sinned.” The Yalkut Shemoni says that God is different than a flesh and blood king. When a flesh and blood king asks a person whether they have killed or not, if the man admits that he killed, he gets the death penalty. But Hashem does not work that way. When you sin to God, He has mercy on you, as it says, ‘When you admit and forsake your sin, God will have mercy and compassion on you,’ and it quotes this pasuk. It’s important to understand that God likes when we realize and admit our sins. It brings kapara/atonement, so it’s worthwhile to appreciate this. Hashem likes when we look into ourselves, and when we are honest with ourselves. Rav Chaim Palagi, in his sefer Moed Kol Chai (chapter 15), quotes this pasuk, that says that God judges people for saying that they did not sin, and adds that those for kinds of sins, you need special Divine Providence in order to overcome those obstacles, because it is so difficult. So what do you do? The Chafetz Chaim, in the introduction to to his sefer on Hilchot Lashon Hara, says that the best thing to do is learn the topic, because then it’s not hefker/boundless. He says that once you have learned the laws of Lashon Hara, even if you’ve sinned, you aren’t considered a Baal Lashon Hara. It’s not your way. Otherwise, it would be very severe. And he explains that all the severities written about a sin are only applicable when a person becomes entrenched in that sin. But when a person realizes that something is a sin, it’s a whole different story. That is the advantage of learning the laws. And that is our purpose. We may not be free from baseless hatred, but at least we are putting it on the radar. It’s not something that we’ll fail to recognize. We won’t be so easily swayed to say, “Oh, I don’t talk to that guy,” because we realize it’s not that simple. Recognizing that something is a sin is the first step, and it is a great step.
We continue with the words of the Bet HaLevi, as he discusses the pasuk from Eicha (chapter 1 pasuk 8), which starts off with the words, חֵטְא חָטְאָה יְרוּשָׁלם Jerusalem sinned a sin And the next pasuk says, טֻמְאָתָהּ בְּשׁוּלֶיהָ Her impurity is on her hems לֹא זָכְרָה אַחֲרִיתָהּ She is heedless of her end וַתֵּרֶד פְּלָאִים She has descended astonishingly אֵין מְנַחֵם לָהּ There is no one comfort her רְאֵה ה׳ אֶת־עׇנְיִי See Hashem, my suffering כִּי הִגְדִּיל אוֹיֵב For the enemy has acted prodigiously How does this connect to the previous pasuk, which says that we sinned a sin and weren’t aware of sinning? During the Second Bet HaMikdash the sin was “on the hem,” which means it was hidden. The people didn’t know they were sinning, and therefore, לֹא זָכְרָה אַחֲרִיתָהthey didn’t realize their end They didn’t realize how far this seemingly small sin of hatred could go. Because beside the sin of hated itself, the Bet HaLevi says that it is the foundation of all the evils of the world. We don’t realize this. We don’t see the trajectory of Sinat Hinam. It says, וַתֵּרֶד פְּלָאִים They descended astonishingly And אֵין מְנַחֵם לָהּ There is no one comfort us, because we don’t know when it will end. Normally, when you want to comfort someone, you tell them, “Don’t worry it’ll be over soon… just another few weeks…” But here, there are no words of comfort. Nobody knows how long it will last, because the sin is so hidden. We sweep it under the carpet, and nobody wants to let it out or share how deep it is. He ends with the words, See Hashem… For the enemy has acted prodigiously. The enemy is the Yetzer Hara, and not only does this Galut prevent us from doing Teshuva, but rather the opposite- it’s getting worse. The Yetzer Hara is only getting stronger. So we ask Hashem to please help us. That is really the only thing that we can do. The sefer Arvei Nachal (in Parashat Shoftim)says that in this situation, on a sin that is so hidden, the only thing we can do is pray to Hashem to open up our eyes to do Teshuva. We have to pray to Hashem to help us realize and understand the sin of Sinat Hinam, because otherwise, as the Gemara tells us, Look at the Bet HaMikdash. It’s not being rebuilt, so obviously the sin is still here. The sin is here, and we are part of it. So we have to pray to Hashem to help us find a way to pull out of this. Have a wonderful day.
We have been talking about the principle that a sin that is not recognized is a more difficult sin to fix. The Sinat Hinam that was going on in the times of the Second Bet HaMikdash, and the Sinat Hinam that goes on today, is difficult to fix, because we don’t realize our sin. There is a pasuk in Yirmiyah (chapter 2, pasuk 35) where God says, הִנְנִי נִשְׁפָּט אוֹתָךְ עַל־אׇמְרֵךְ לֹא חָטָאתִי I am judging you for saying, “I have not sinned.” The Yalkut Shemoni says that God is different than a flesh and blood king. When a flesh and blood king asks a person whether they have killed or not, if the man admits that he killed, he gets the death penalty. But Hashem does not work that way. When you sin to God, He has mercy on you, as it says, ‘When you admit and forsake your sin, God will have mercy and compassion on you,’ and it quotes this pasuk. It’s important to understand that God likes when we realize and admit our sins. It brings kapara/atonement, so it’s worthwhile to appreciate this. Hashem likes when we look into ourselves, and when we are honest with ourselves. Rav Chaim Palagi, in his sefer Moed Kol Chai (chapter 15), quotes this pasuk, that says that God judges people for saying that they did not sin, and adds that those for kinds of sins, you need special Divine Providence in order to overcome those obstacles, because it is so difficult. So what do you do? The Chafetz Chaim, in the introduction to to his sefer on Hilchot Lashon Hara, says that the best thing to do is learn the topic, because then it’s not hefker/boundless. He says that once you have learned the laws of Lashon Hara, even if you’ve sinned, you aren’t considered a Baal Lashon Hara. It’s not your way. Otherwise, it would be very severe. And he explains that all the severities written about a sin are only applicable when a person becomes entrenched in that sin. But when a person realizes that something is a sin, it’s a whole different story. That is the advantage of learning the laws. And that is our purpose. We may not be free from baseless hatred, but at least we are putting it on the radar. It’s not something that we’ll fail to recognize. We won’t be so easily swayed to say, “Oh, I don’t talk to that guy,” because we realize it’s not that simple. Recognizing that something is a sin is the first step, and it is a great step.
Yesterday, we mentioned from the Bet HaLevi that when a person does a sin that is a clear sin, he groans, he feels bad, and is therefore able to do Teshuva. On the other hand, with a sin that is not out in the open, that is not apparent, so it is harder to do Teshuva. This concept shows up in Rabbenu Yonah in his commentary on the Rif, in Berachot, where he says that a person has to be careful on a doubt, more so than on something that is for sure: It’s the main fear of God to be careful and stay away from situations of doubt, because the punishment for a doubt is greater than for a sin for something definite. How so? The Gemarah in Masechet Zevachim (48a) tells us that there are two types of sin- offerings. One is for a person that definitely sinned by mistake. For example, he opened the refrigerator while he wasn’t paying attention and he ate an unkosher product. He has to bring a Korban Chatat. Then there was another person who opened the refrigerator with two bags inside. One was his lunch, and one was the housekeeper’s lunch. He ate one, and the housekeeper ate one, but they don’t know who ate what, and they will never find out. There is a korban for that called Asham Talui. It’s a guilt offering that’s ‘hanging’- We don’t know if he did the sin or not. The Korban Chattat is cheaper than the Korban Asham. When he is certain he did the sin, he pays less than when he is in doubt. This seems counterintuitive. Why is it stricter on doubt than it is on something definite? Rabbenu Yonah answers that שעל הודאי משים האדם החטא אל לבו ודואג ומתחרט עליו וחוזר תשובה שלמה When it’s certain, you put it in your heart. It hurts you and you worry. You regret it. And you return in full Teshuva. But when it comes to a doubt, you start with logic, reasons and excuses. So if you ate something in the airport and you weren’t sure whether it was kosher, you assumed it probably was, and by the time Yom Kippur came around, you forgot all about it. But if you ate something that was definitely unkosher, you still feel bad about it three years later. The nature of the beast is that when it is not clear-cut, we try to justify it. We try to make it work it and smooth it out. But when something is out in the open and clearly wrong, it’s harder to do that. Sinat Hinam is, by nature, a sin of safek/doubt. It is very hard. There is no unkosher symbol, it doesn’t say unkosher gelatin, and there is a lot of wiggle room. That is why it is so hard to do to Teshuva. That is why we still are where we are. Have a wonderful day.
We continue with the Bet Halevi’s words He brings a pasuk in Eicha that says, חֵטְא חָטְאָה יְרוּשָׁלַ͏ִם עַל־כֵּן לְנִידָה הָיָתָה כׇּל־מְכַבְּדֶיהָ הִזִּילוּהָ כִּי־רָאוּ עֶרְוָתָהּ גַּם־הִיא נֶאֶנְחָה וַתָּשׇׁב אָחוֹר Jerusalem has sinned a sin, Therefore, we treat her like a woman in Niddah. All those that respected her disgraced her, They saw her disgrace. And she groaned and returned The Bet HaLevi explains that there are 613 Mitzvot and Averot in our Torah. But many sins, such as eating unkosher or breaking Shabbat, are not inherently a sin, because there are times where those things are permitted (for example, for matters of life and death). Of the 613 Mitzvot, only three are inherently sins. Those are the cardinal sins for which there are no excuses; a person must die rather than commit them. Therefore, the first pasuk refers to the first Bet HaMikdash, where they, “sinned a sin.” It was one of the three cardinal sins, and it was רָאוּ עֶרְוָתָהּ- out in the open, as we have mentioned many times. Everyone disgraced her. Therefore, she did Teshuva. גַּם־הִיא נֶאֶנְחָה וַתָּשׇׁב אָחוֹר She groaned, which means she felt bad about it and she returned in Teshuva. Furthermore, we compare the sins of the first Bet HaMikdash to a woman in Nidah. A Nidah is impure for seven days, regardless of what she does. So too, for the first Bet HaMikdash, there was a set sentence of seventy years, regardless of what they did. On the other hand, the rebuilding of the Second Bet HaMikdash is dependent only on Teshuva. If there is no Teshuva, then there can be no fixing it. That’s why we are still in this Galut- Because there is no set time for the sin of Sinat Hinam/Baseless Hatred. As we have said before, the sin of Sinat Hinam is harder to fix. It is not out in the open, and we don’t groan about it. That is why we are still here today. The Bet HaLevi contrasts this with the first Bet HaMikdash, in which although the sins were great, it was because they were great that they were noticeable, which made the the people groan, which in turn caused them to do Teshuva. Sinat Hinam, however, is not noticeable, so people don’t groan over or regret it, and therefore we are stuck where we are. B’ezrat Hashem, we will speak more on this concept tomorrow.
We continue with the Midrash’s quotes about how great Shalom is. “Great is peace because God’s name is peace,” as it says in Shoftim 6,24 ויקרא לו ה׳ שלום And he called to Hashem, “Shalom” That is why, as the Ben Ish Chai and others bring down, you can’t say Shalom in a bathroom or a bath house, because you cannot say Hashem’s name in an unclean place. That is why people do not say Shabbat Shalom, or Shalom in a place that is unclean. Shalom is God’s name. Why is this so? I recently saw a very big Hiddush. What is the root of the word Shalom? Shalom means peace, but in Hebrew etymology, most words have a three letter root. The root of shalom is shalem/ complete. This is brought down by the Magen Avot, the Rashbatz, Pirkei Avot ( perek 1 Mishna 18) It is called Shalom because it’s complete. In Shir HaShirim we say, Shir HaShirim LShlomo, which also refers to God- the One that has peace. Peace is there when there is perfection. The only true, perfect being is God. Therefore, God’s name is Shalom. Shalom is something holy, and that is why we aspire to emulate God. God is kind, we are kind. God is perfect, so we have to get as close to perfect as we can, and that comes through Shalom. The Midrash continues: Shalom is Great: It weighs in corresponding to all the Mitzvot of the Torah, positive and negative. The source is, Sur Mera, stay away from evil (those are the negative commandments, V’Aseh Tov Do all the positives, But it’s still not enough.. so on the other side we add, Bakesh Shalom, search and desire peace and chase after it. These are powerful words. Another reason for Gadol HaShalom: When you someone how they are doing, you don’t ask him how much money he has or about his health, or about anything else except Ma Shlomcha- literally, What’s your peace? The pasuk in Melachim Bet 4,26- says הֲשָׁלוֹם לָךְ Is there peace to you? Similarly, when Yaakov inquired of Lavan, he asked Hashalom Lo? Is there peace to him? This is our source for this concept of how great peace is.. Peace is what decides how you’re doing. In Hebrew we don’t say How are you doing? In Hebrew, we say Ma Shlomcha How’s your peace ? Because that decides everything. If you have peace, you have everything. Have a wonderful day.
There is a Midrash brought down in the Otzer HaMidrashim called the Midrash Gadol, that lists things that are great. One of them is Gadol HaShalom/Peace is great. There are many reasons listed, which we will share over the next few days. The first is that we see Peace is great, because first thing that God created in the world was about peace. This was light . By creating light, God created peace. Light brings peace. When there is darkness, people trip, they fall and they get into fights. That is why, on Shabbat, we light candles- because light brings Shalom, and Shabbat is the time of Shalom. So therefore, in order to have Shalom Bayit, Peace in the home, we light candles. It’s fascinating that the first thing that God created was a peace item. If you have to choose between buying Shabbat candles or wine for Kiddush , you have to buy the candles because Shalom Bayit overrides kiddush . Peace trumps all. Furthermore, since Shalom bay it is so important, the Midrash continues and says that so Great is Peace that God allows a His name, that’s written in holiness, to be erased in waters, to create peace between husband and wife. When a man is suspicious that maybe his wife did something wrong, a special chapter from the Torah is written on a scroll and erased. This has magical, miraculous powers to determine if the lady is innocent or not. And this magical, mystical truth serum is created by erasing God’s name. Why is it done this way? Because peace is so great, God says to erase His name for it. We can see this in people as well. There is a story about Rebbe Meir who used to give a class on Friday nights. One night, a woman attended his class and came home late. Her husband was upset with her and refused to let her enter the house unless she spit in the face of the rabbi who gave the speech. A neighbor overheard the husband screaming and told the rabbi what he said. The rabbi then told the woman that he had something in his eye, and he needed someone to spit in it in order to clear it up. His students wondered what he was doing. Would he really go to such an extent, to embarrass himself? And he said that if God could have his name erased for Shalom, he could take a little bit of insult for Shalom. Have a wonderful day! Gadol Hashalom Peace is great!
The Bet Halevi quotes the Gemarah in Mesechet Menachot 29: (Of) The four species of the Lulav, two of them have fruit (the etrog and the palm), and two of them do not have fruit (the Aravah and the Hasadim) Having or not having fruit symbolizes the productive Jew versus the Jew that is not productive. Nonetheless, one does not fulfill his obligation unless they are all together in Agudah Achat/ One group. So too, the Jewish people must be together in order for God to be happy with them. Regarding the Mitzvah of Lulav, this Gemarah says that the ones that have fruit need the ones that do not have fruit, and the same is true for the Jewish people. The pasuk is quoted: “God builds in the heavens, V’Agudato/and His bundle has a foundation on the ground.” The Gemarah explains this to mean that it is only when there is a foundation of unity and Agudah/a bundle, that God builds in the heavens. This concept is actually referred to in our Rosh Hashanah prayers. The Daat Zekenim, (Vayikrah 23,40) quotes from our prayers, where we say, UBechen, Ten Pachdecha… when we are asking Hashem to instill His fear into the world, and we end off with a prayer that everyone should make Agudah Achat/one group to do the Will of Hashem. There is an organization called Agudat Yisrael, and that name comes from this pasuk and from this Gemarah that We want to have an Agudah. The sefer Pardes Yosef (Bereshit 49,1) says something fascinating: There is a pasuk in Re’eh (14,1) בָּנִים אַתֶּם לַה׳ אֱלֹקיכֶם לֹא תִתְגֹּדְדוּ You are children to Hashem your God, Don’t make separate groups This is a Halacha. You can’t have a synagogue with different customs within it. It can’t be that half the shul answers Kaddish one way, and the other half answers another way. It can’t be that half the shul wears their tefilin on Hol HaMoed and half do not. Each shul can have their own customs, but in one shul, to have different groups is divisiveness. That is against the Halacha of לֹא תִתְגֹּדְדוּ/Do not make separate groups. The sefer asks what the connection is between the two halves of this pasuk: You’re children of Hashem, Don’t make separate groupings And he explains that the Jewish people are referred to both as children and servants of God, as we say on Rosh Hashanah in Hayom Harat Olam: Im K’Banim, Im K’Avadim God will decide whether to treat us like children or like servants. We want to be treated like children. Children obviously get preferential treatment. And when the Jewish people are in one grouping together, then we are considered children. But when we are separated, and not getting along like brothers, then we cannot be considered children. We can’t have it both ways. If Hashem is my Father, and Hashem is his Father, that makes us brothers. But if we aren’t brothers, than Hashem can not be our parent. So a lack of unity indicates a lack of being sons of Hashem. Therefore, we say that if we want God to treat us like sons, we have to be like brothers. That’s what it means: לֹא תִתְגֹּדְדו/don’t make separate groups, but rather be Agudah Achat/one group. Have a wonderful day.
The Bet Halevi quotes a famous pasuk as a proof of the concept that we can only connect to the Torah when we have unity. When Bnei Yisrael traveled, it was always written in plural form, “ and they traveled ,” or “ and they camped. ” But when it came to giving the Torah, it says, “ ויין and he encamped” which Rashi says was, “ Like one man with one heart.” The receiving of the Torah could only happen in a situation of achdut . That is what brought Hashem’s Shechina down. As we said yesterday, God is the only King when we are united. The Sifra, one of the early Midrashim says, on the pasuk that says that Hashem says, ’Do this,” Moshe Rabbenu says to Bnei Yisrael to remove this Yetzer Hara/evil inclination , and all be together in one fearing of God, with one common goal. And just like God is one in the world, your service should be unified. What is “ this Yetzer Hara,” referring to? The Sefer Maharit, in his commentary on Vayikrah, says that it refers to the competition that they had in their previous encampments. Hashem told them, at Har Sinai, to remove that Yetzer Hara/ that evil inclination that they had at their previous encampments. The Mishkan was a continuation of the feeling of unity of Har Sinai, in which God communicated with the Jewish people. That’s why, the Maharit says, that Hashem wanted the Teruma to come from everyone, and also why specifically the Machasit Hashekel was used. They had two purposes, one of which was for the silver sockets which were the foundation of the Mishkan (so they were unified in the foundation). Every plank had a small protrusion that fit into the socket, so that every two planks were unified. Like twins on the top. And thus, it say that the Mishkan was one, which refers to the unity of the Jewish people. Hashem said, V’asu Li Mikdash/ Make for me a Bet HaMikdash. Just like the Bet HaMikdash is one and unified, so too all of the korbanot came from the Machasit Hashekel. So the whole Har Sinai, and the whole Mishkan, which was about the connection of Hashem to the Jewish people, only came about through achdut . That is the message of the Maharit and the message of the Bet HaLevi on this famous pasuk of Har Sinai. Have a wonderful day.
Yesterday we mentioned the pasuk that the Bet HaLevi quotes: וַיְהִי בִישֻׁרוּן מֶלֶךְ בְּהִתְאַסֵּף רָאשֵׁי עָם יַחַד שִׁבְטֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל When is God king? When the leaders gather together.. The Sifri in Parashat Zot HaBeracha (chapter 5) quotes this pasuk as well, and mentions the following mashal from Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai: This is comparable to a man that bought two boats and tied them together with thick, heavy ropes. Then, atop the boats, he builds his palace. He has a floating palace. As long as the boats are tied together, the palace stands. But if the boats separate, the palace collapses into the water. So too, the Jewish people. When we are united, then we can hold up God’s kingdom. But if we are separated, has v’Shalom, the kingdom collapses. It’s a very scary mashal. In the famed Yeshiva of Kelm, there was a notice hanging on the door, throughout the high holidays season. It was a wondrous awakening that quoted the following logic: A kingdom is only successful if there is unity in the army and among the people. If there is dissension, the entire nation falls apart. As we know, without fear of kingdom, men will swallow themselves up alive. We see this from riots and civil wars. If you don’t have unity, the kingdom is worthless. We are supposed to learn from human kings how to serve God. Therefore, he says, “The main way to make God King upon us is through achdut/ unity. As such, we have to work on ourselves to be involved, throughout the year in the Mitzvah of VeAhavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/Loving your friend like you love yourself. We may not realize this, but by getting these classes on Ahavat Yisrael, we are preparing for the high holidays! Every day, we say Hashem Elokenu Hashem Echad. But we start with the introduction of Shema Yisrael first- recognizing that we are a part of the Jewish people. We should have the kavana that there cannot be a Kingdom without unity. This is what we are working on now. We are working on Hashem being King over us. The Elder of Kelm continues, saying, You don’t have to change in one moment. Slowly but surely you’ll get better. And you’ll be considered a little bit of a Baal Teshuva. You can’t imagine the zechut/merit for us, and the whole world, if there is a group of people who work on us the whole year.“ This is what we are doing! He says that it might be a little difficult, but by constantly thinking about it, slowly but surely it will become enjoyable. Therefore, he says that this is something to keep in mind all year. And a good place to have this in mind, he says, is every day in our prayers when we say (right before the Amida in Shaharit) על שפת הים יחד כלם הודו והמליכו Together they made God into King. Without that unity, Hashem’s kingdom is incomplete, and we aren’t doing our jobs. What unbelievable words from this beautiful pasuk! Have a wonderful day.
We continue to discuss how the Bet HaLevi says that Ahavat Yisrael is so important. He says, The success of the Jewish people is not dependent on any natural event. Rather, only through learning Torah, and connecting to God. And all of this is for naught without shalom. If you don’t have shalom , you can’t learn Torah and you can’t connect to God. Therefore, shalom is necessary for Jewish success. As the pasuk says, וַיְהִי בִישֻׁרוּן מֶלֶךְ בְּהִתְאַסֵּף רָאשֵׁי עָם יַחַד שִׁבְטֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל׃ When there is a king in Yeshurun ( which means the Jewish people will come together) when the leaders gather together and the tribes gather together as well.” We say this pasuk on Rosh Hashanah as one of the ten pesukim of the Malchuyot/God is King section of the Musaf Amida . When is God king?When we are together. The Rosh says that when the Jewish people are together with brotherhood and friendship, then Hashem is King on us. But when we argue it’s almost as if we are saying that God is not our King. God’s kingdom is decided by our unity. Without our unity, God cannot connect Himself to us. There is a beautiful Seforno that points out that this process, as in the pasuk above, starts at the top- if the leaders are united. He points out that when the Nesi’im donated to the Mishkan in the desert, besides the jewels that they gave, they also donated six wagons. Every two tribes partnered up to donate a wagon together. Why couldn’t they give twelve wagons? The Seforno explains that it was as a symbol of their brotherhood. In that way, the Shechina would come upon them, as the pasuk mentioned above says. They could have given twelve separate wagons, but they wanted to unite in their donations, and thus, be fit for the Shechina to come down. The Mishkan was there for the Shechina. So they wanted to show their unity in the donation. The same is true for the Mahasit Hashekel- everyone gave half shekel. This was not just symbolic. It meant that everybody was united and together. There’s nothing more beautiful than two people partnering up for a dedication, because that shows the brotherhood. Neither is out for his own honor, they just want to be together. Have a wonderful day.
This week’s Parasha has a beautiful lesson. The Sefer Tomar Devorah written by Rabbi Moshe Cordevero (also known as the Ramak) discusses the 13 different attributes of mercy of God and how we human beings are supposed to emulate them. One of God’s middot is called, “ Erech Apa’im. ”It says that God does not hold His anger forever. Even if a person continues to sin, Hashem does not stay angry forever. If a man does not do to Teshuva, God’s anger abates. Even if the person is still sinning, God is merciful. He doesn’t punish, and He hopes that the person will come back. Even if a person hasn’t changed, you can’t get be angry at somebody forever. This is how a person has to act with his friends, even in a case where he has the right to give mussar; even if it’s his children, and they are under his control. At a certain point, you have to realize that you can’t be angry forever. Rather , He says, turn around, and maybe you’ll get him with love . Then he quotes pasuk from this Parasha, “If you see the donkey of your enemy, and he is collapsing under his load, should you not help him? Rather, you should help him. Someone might wonder why the Torah is talking about enemies/ hating someone, when we’ve been learning all about Ahavat Yisrael? In actuality, this is referring to someone who has sinned. You have a right to hate him for his sin. But still, the Torah tells us here, to Azov Ta’azov-Let go of what is in your heart.” Rather, what you should do is help him out, because, “ Maybe that approach will work.” And this is the middah that God has. Sometimes you see a sinner, who seems to be doing great and you wonder what is going on. The answer is that Hashem says, ” How long does it take? Maybe if I give him something, he will turn around and say, ‘God is great,’ and do Teshuva that way.” That is this pasuk- Sometimes the way to change a person is just by loving them, and doing for them, and that will make them turn around. Have a wonderful day and a Shabbat Shalom.
The Sfat Emet, in his commentary on Humash Bereshit (in the year תמרה ) brings down the following Midrash, from Yalkut Shemoni Bereshit ( perek ב ) In Kiddush we say, וי כל ו השמים והארץ Vaychulu Hashamayim V’HaAretz/ When the heavens and the earth were finished… Usually, the word Vaychulu is interpreted to mean, “ to be completed,” but the Hiddush of this Midrash is that, Vaychulu Hashamayim K’Na’asu Kelim we can read it to mean Kelim , which means “a vessel.” (The word for vessel in Hebrew is כלי / Keli , which means it’s a finished product . Before a vessel is completed, it’s called a golem/unfinished , so we can see how these words are related) What the Midrash is telling us is that Vaychulu means the world became a vessel. The whole purpose of creation was in order to express God’s honor. During the week, everything is disjointed and disconnected from God. But on Shabbat, when everything stops, and we focus creation on God, it becomes clear that all of creation is just a vessel in order for the blessing of God to come down upon us. Shabbat makes us realize that the whole world is one big vessel. Furthermore, he continues, in order for a vessel to be complete vessel, it needs to have peace as well. That is why we say, “ Shabbat Shalom.” Shabbat is when the world became a vessel, because it was complete, and fit to house God’s honor and beracha . That is why we need shalom . He says that this repeats itself every single Shabbat. He says that when we enjoy Shabbat, and show that all the beracha and parnasa from the week comes from Shabbat, that is the message of Shabbat. This is not a Shabbat class, it’s a shalom class, but what a beautiful thought to have when making Kiddush on Friday night: Now we have the vessel; The world became a vessel for beracha . That is why we need shalom . This is another beautiful thought on shalom , and what a beautiful etymology of the word Vaychulu from the Sfat Emet. Have a wonderful day.
In his sefer Or Rashaz on Vayikrah ( Ma’Amar 463), the Elder of Kelm brings down what we have been discussing: Hashem has not found a utensil for blessing for the Jewish people other than peace. He says that in order for a king to make a feast, it requires a place that is very spacious and well equipped with all the proper kingly preparations. So too, when Hashem is going to do goodness on those that do His will, not every place is spacious enough to accept this, and this world is really not the place for that great Seuda . That is why it says in the Gemarah, “ Today is for doing, and tomorrow is to receive the reward.” Only the tomorrow of Olam Haba is fit for that reward; As it says in the Hakdama of Mesilat Yesharim : This world is really not the world of reward. This world can’t possibly hold the reward. In order for that great feast to be held, beside Olam Haba/the future, being the place, there is another aspect to this. He brings a pasuk from Yeshaya 11,6-9 where it describes the future: וְגָר זְאֵב עִם כֶּבֶשׂ וְנָמֵר עִם גְּדִי יִרְבָּץ וְעֵגֶל וּכְפִיר וּמְרִיא יַחְדָּו וְנַעַר קָטֹן נֹהֵג בָּם : The wolf will live with the sheep, and a leopard will lie down with a kid, a lion and a fatling will walk together, and a young child will lead them. וּפָרָה וָדֹב תִּרְעֶינָה יַחְדָּו יִרְבְּצוּ יַלְדֵיהֶן וְאַרְיֵה כַּבָּקָר יֹאכַל תֶּבֶן : A cow and bear will graze, Their young will lie down together, and a lion, like cattle, will eat hay. וְשִׁעֲשַׁע יוֹנֵק עַל־חֻר פָּתֶן וְעַל מְאוּרַת צִפְעוֹנִי גָּמוּל יָדוֹ הָדָה A suckling will play by a viper’s hole, and a newly weaned child will stretch his hand towards a viper’s lair לֹא־יָרֵעוּ וְלֹא־יַשְׁחִיתוּ בְּכׇל־הַר קׇדְשִׁי כִּי־מָלְאָה הָאָרֶץ דֵּעָה אֶת ה׳ כַּמַּיִם לַיָּם מְכַסִּים They’ll neither injure nor plague, in all My sacred mountain Because the land will be filled with knowledge , as water covers the sea bed. This is Yeshaya’s as description of the future. Rav Simcha Zissel points out that this entire account is a description of tremendous extremes of peace-the animals getting along with each other is, of course, to be understood on a simple level. But it also symbolizes the Jewish people getting along with the other nations. (It’s interesting that the United Nations had this pasuk engraved on the front of their building. But they don’t realize that they are actually the opposite, on the Midrashic level- which refers to the Jewish people, and the other nations are the total opposite) The Elder of Kelm asks why we need this extreme of peace, and answers that Olam Haba is the greatest of good, and in order to have the that greatest of good, we must have extreme peace. The greatest blessing requires the greatest peace. That is the rule with everything: the more peace, the more blessing. And he ends off with two words- ונפלא הוא V’Niflah Hu This is a wondrous concept! May we all realize this important rule: the more the peace, the more the blessing. Have a wonderful day.
We once learned from Rav Yehezkiel Levenstein that we have to appreciate what it means, and how great it is to be a Yisrael, and then we will love every Jewish person. In Parashat Yitro (19,5) Hashem tells us that if you listen to the Torah and keep His covenant, וִהְיִיתֶם לִי סְגֻלָּה מִכׇּל־הָעַמִּים כִּי־לִי כׇּל־הָאָרֶץ׃ You’ll be a segula/ treasure to Me, from all the nations, and the whole land is Mine. Hashem calls us by this great title- a Segula. This is like someone who owns a lot of diamonds calling us the Hope Diamond. God has everything. In Devarim him he says, “God lifted you up..” He lifted us up to be an Am Segula, a treasure nation, when He said these words וִהְיִיתֶם לִי סְגֻלָּה You’ll be My segula/treasure We, the Jewish people are His, as it says in Devarim (32,9), כִּי חֵלֶק ה׳ עַמּוֹ We are a part of God. Sefer Yikarim (in Ma’Amar ג chap 37), tells us that His love for the Jewish people is like the unexplainable love of a couple. He says that the whole Shir HaShirim is written on this love, that God had for the Jewish people. It’s not because of our numbers. As it says in Devarim (7/7) לֹא מֵרֻבְּכֶם מִכׇּל־הָעַמִּי it’s not because you’re so many.. Hashem doesn’t love us because of our numbers, or became of our righteousness, as it says in Devarim (9,6) לֹא בְצִדְקָתְךָ God loves us because He loves us … כי חשק בלי טעם That’s what it means, וִהְיִיתֶם לִי סְגֻלָּה You’ll be My treasured nation When we received the Torah, it created this love. He says that a segula is a treasure that can be very small, but it’s perfect. It’s more beloved than anything else. He says that, “A little bit of service that He receives from a Jewish person is more precious to him than from a lot, or all the nations.” There is a mashal that if you have nine people waiting for a minyan, and another billion non-Jews join, you still can’t say Kaddish. But if just one 13 year old boy walks in, now you can say Kaddish. That is the segula. That is how special every Jewish person is. He quotes a sefer Seder Hayom that says it’s not just referring to Sadikim. Even sinners. We have to appreciate what a Jew is, and that includes everybody. Every Jew that you see has that in them, and this is the reason to love every Jewish person.
We’ve been talking about the importance of shalom, and how great peace and brotherly love is. One of the things that the Bet HaLevi quotes is the pasuk, וַיִּחַן־שָׁם יִשְׂרָאֵל נֶגֶד הָהָר The Jewish people emcamped opposite the mountain. Even though other words in this passage say, in plural, “and they traveled.., and they encamped..”by Har Sinai it says, “and he encamped,” Rashi says they were united as one man with one heart.” Masechet Derech Eretz says (in the discussion Perek Shalom) God says Jewish people, you hated argument and loved peace and became one camp, now is the time that I will give you the Torah.“ The commentary Yefe Toar, on the Midrash Raba in Vayikrah (9/9) Says that although Har Sinai was the right mountain, they would have waited there until they worked out their arguments. It’s clear that the only way they could have received the Torah was if everything was worked out together. The Chida, on his commentary on the Shelah in Parashat Yitro, says a tremendous hiddush. One of the ten things that we are supposed to remember every day ( according to the Ramban it’s a positive Commandments from the Torah), is to remember Har Sinai. Why do we need to remember this every day if we have the Torah now? The Chida answers that it’s because we have to remember that we did not receive the Torah until we were united. And we also have to remember the lesson of Har Sinai. It was the smallest mountain, and it was chosen because of its humility. And only through humility is there achdut/unity. If you aren’t humble, you cannot get along with people. So our daily responsibility is to remember the lessons of Har Sinai. If you want to receive the Torah, it will only be if you have achdut. The Chida continues with a pasuk from Malachi, 2,6, where it talks about a great teacher of the Jewish people ( some say it’s Aharon or Pinchas) תּוֹרַת אֱמֶת הָיְתָה בְּפִיהוּ The words of Emet were in his mouth, because בְּשָׁלוֹם וּבְמִישׁוֹר הָלַךְ אִתִּי He had peace. You can’t have Torat Emet without peace. And the Chida says that this comes from humility. The lesson of Har Sinai is to be humble, and only through humility can you receive the Torah. Because without shalom, there is no Torah. Shalom is the receptacle of blessing, and there is no greater blessing than Torah, but you need shalom. The Sefer Shevet Mussar says in the book Midrash Itamri (13th derush) that it says Moshe kibel Torah M’Sinai Moshe received the Torah from Sinai (rather that at Sinai) because he received it from the lessons of Har Sinai. Moshe was chosen to be the conduit to receive the Torah because he was humble. He was like Har Sinai. The lessons of Har Sinai gave Moshe the ability to receive the Torah.
I stumbled upon a beautiful Rambam, in his letter to his son Rabbi Avraham. He says, “ Do not disgrace your soul with machloket/arguments. It destroys the body, the soul, and the money. And what is left after Machloket? “ That is a powerful line. Body, soul, and money- we are supposed to love God with these three things, and machloket takes it all away. “ I saw people that were white and became black, I saw families that were wiped away. I saw ministers that lost their posts of greatness. I saw great cities shaken to their core. I saw groups that became dispersed. I saw men of faith that were lost. I saw honorables that were disgraced. All because of machloket. Prophets prophesized, wise people shared their wisdom, philosophers searched, all to describe the evils of machloket. They did not reach the end.” “ Therefore ,” he says, “ Hate it and run from it. Stay away from those that love it, those that redeem it and those that are its friends..” He’s speaking poetically, saying that machloket has those that love it, and those that redeem it, which means that when the machloket starts dissipating, they are there to stoke the coals. So don’t only stay away from machloket , but stay away from its ambassadors as well. He continues on and says that, Even if it is somebody that is related to you, if he loves argument and contention, make believe that he is a stranger. Stay away from his closeness, lest you be caught up in his sin. These are the words the great Rishon, the Ramban. And who is he talking to? His son, who was also a great Rishon. He is giving fatherly advice to his son, from all of his knowledge. The Rambam was a man of halacha and when he speaks words of mussar , it comes from his heart. One of the great rabbis once said, What a Rishon says without a source has the entire Torah behind it. It’s his feelings and emotions. The Rambam is sharing these loving words with his son. “Don’t taint your soul,” he says, with the same term used for eating unkosher food. As the saying goes, “People are more careful with what goes into their mouths than what goes out of their mouths.” We have to be sensitive to this great evil, which is a destroyer of the body, like disease. It’s a destroyer of the soul, like any other sin. And it’s also a destroyer of money. People always want a segula for parnasa , and here we have the Rambam saying, machloket destroys money. We have seen it destroy businesses, and it takes people away from their greatness. It destroys cities and takes everything apart. And yet, with all of that, it is still alive and well. Let us pay heed to this concept, and stay far away from machloket and its ambassadors. Have a wonderful day.
As we have mentioned in the past, the Baalei Musar tell us that the best way of working on something is to insert it into our prayers and have kavana for it. We’re praying anyway, so we might as well have the right kavana . In the sefer Yaarot Devash, by Rabbi Yonatan Eibeschitz (volume 1, derush 1), he goes through the 19 berachot of the Amida and tells us what kavana to have for each beracha . Regarding Sim Shalom , he tells us the obvious. When you say Sim Shalom, you are praying for peace, because there is no greater receptacle for peace than shalom . That’s why it’s the last thing, at the end of the Amida . It’s the receptacle for all the blessings throughout the Amida . And it comes when there is complete Achdut in the Jewish people. He says that when we say Sim Shalom , we should think that there should be no arguments in Yisrael. People have a lot of kavana at Refaenu , and lot of kavana at Barech Alenu. We want healing, we want refuah … people also pray for understanding knowledge in Atah Honen …and maybe people add things in Shomeah Tefila … But I wonder how many people have kavana at Sim Shalom, to really pray that there should be no arguments, jealousy or hatred amongst the Jewish people. We should all be beloved and united in one goal of brotherhood and friendship. We should all be one soul. He says to have in mind to fulfill the Mitzvah of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. It’s the Klal HaTorah. The Tachlit HaTefilla, the end goal of all our prayers is to get to Sim Shalom , and Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha , because without that, all the parnasa and refuah have no where to land. They have no receptacle. Therefore, we must have kavana when we say Sim Shalom . This was a Hiddush for me. People don’t usually think of this. Maybe during the three weeks people have Boneh Yerushalayim in mind.. there’s a time of the year for every thing. People often have more kavana for Mehayeh Metim after a close relative passes away, to resurrect the dead. Certain blessings talk to, and resonate with us. Now, let Sim Shalom resonate with us. It’s the last one. It might be a little hard at the end of the Amida . But it’s like buying an expensive bottle of wine, that has been curated and developed, and finally poured it into a glass that has a hole in it. All that work is for naught. So let’s have kavana in Sim Shalom . Have a wonderful day.
We have been discussing the concept that shalom is the vessel for blessing. The Ktav Sofer in Bereshit (15,5) quotes an interesting a Midrash, that points out the word כה/Ko, which means “like this.” God told Avraham, הבט נא השמימה וספור הכוכבים וכו' ויאמר לו כה יהיה זרעך Look up to the heavens, and count the stars, and God told Avraham, “like this will be your children” The midrash asks, From where did the Jewish people merit the Beracha of Kohanim, in which it says כה תברכו Ko Tebarechu Like this you should bless? From this pasuk where it says, כה יהיה זרעך Like this will be your children This may seems like it’s just a cute play on words, “like this” by the blessing and “like this” by God’s promise…So to explain further, the Ktav Sofer mentions another Midrash, which asks why the Jewish people are compared to stars. He answers that just like stars have no jealousy or arguments, so too the Jewish people. Each star has a name, a title, and they all get along. And, as we have said, there is no better vessel for blessing than peace. So the reason that the Jewish people merited the blessing of the Kohanim, where it says, אמור להם יברכך Tell to them to bless You, in singular, is because the only way for the blessing to come down is if there is peace. That means that they have to be like one man, with one heart. We say, in singular form, ויחן שם נגד ההר the Jewish people camped opposite the mountain.” It’s written in the singular form, because they were at peace, and whenever there is peace, Rashi says, they use the singular form. Similarly it says, כל נפש לבית יעקב The soul of Bet Yaakov, not “souls.” What gave us the ability to have the blessing of, “ Ko Tebarechu,” this special blessing of Birkat Kohanim, is Ko Yihyeh Zarecha- Your children will be like this. Your children will be like the stars. And just like the stars have no arguments, your children will have no arguments. This is how we got the blessing of Birkat Kohanim. Because we are together as one unit, as one person. That is why this is written in the singular form. This is extremely important. Everyone knows what a great segula Birkat Kohanim is. People stand with their hands open waiting to get the blessing. And that is beautiful, but the only problem is that you need to have the shalom. When you stand there with your hands open, waiting to get blessed, if you aren’t thinking about everybody else, you are standing there is an individual. When you open your hands, you have to think that you are accepting the blessing for the entire congregation. It’s not just about you. The secret of Birkat Kohanim, says the Ktav Sofer, is the singular form. It’s all about the Jewish people being united as one individual. Have a wonderful day.
We like to hear stories of Ahavat Yisrael that inspire us, especially when they occur with regular every day people. The Skolener Rebbe was a great Sadik, whole we call a Poel Yeshuot, who brought about wonders, who lived in Boro Park. People would wait, late at night, in lines outside of his house to get blessings from him. I myself was zoche to go a few times. There was once a man on line who didn’t quite fit in with the rest of the people in this Hasidic area of Boro Park. He was in jeans and a polo shirt. After some curious looks by the others in line, he finally got in to see the Rebbe and asked for a beracha for Refuah for “Shimon ben Leah.” The gabbai/ rabbis aid wondered about the name- it was his son’s name. He thought maybe it was a coincidence, but on the man’s way out, the gabbai decided to ask him whom the beracha was for. He explained that he was a counselor in Camp Simcha, a camp for children with a dreaded disease, which is a tremendous example of Ahavat Yisrael run by Rabbi Scholar and Chai Lifeline. It’s an unbelievable Hesed machine. Shimon ben Leah was this man’s camper. He wanted to give him a gift for his birthday, but he couldn’t think of what to get him, a religious, Hasidic boy, that would make him happy. Then he thought of getting the boy a beracha from the Rebbe. So he waited on line to bring the boy a beracha . The gabbai burst out crying. He told the man that Shimon ben Leah was his son! This was a fellow that the people were looking at, wondering if he belongs or if he doesn’t. But there is no belonging . It’s just just two Jews loving each other, even if they don’t know who they are. Just trying to spread Achdut . It’s a beautiful story that shows that you never know what’s what, or who’s helping who. Have a wonderful day.
In Artscroll’s book, “ From Their Daughters’ Hearts, Part 2 , written by Esti Florans, there is a beautiful story about Mrs Miriam Lubling a’h. She was a legend in her time. She was a one person medical referral system, an advocate, a supporter, a fundraiser, and a Hesed machine. She was a dynamo of a woman who would stop at nothing for someone in need. Anyone in the medical field knew her. At the levayah of Mrs. Lubling, a total stranger stood up and insisted on speaking. This is what he shared: “ I came from Israel with a very sick child to Boston Children’s Hospital. But the hospital wouldn’t admit my child unless I gave them a $14,000 deposit. I asked the Boston Bikur Cholim what to do — and they suggested I call Mrs. Miriam Lubling. “I reached her on her cell phone while she was in a car on the way to NYU. ‘You don’t know me, Mrs. Lubling,’ I began. ‘But maybe you know someone in Boston Children’s Hospital who could help me.’ “She asked me, ‘What’s the matter?’ “So I told her. “She said, ‘How much do you need?’ “Again, I told her. “She asked me for the name and number of the person in charge of billing. Fifteen minutes later, they told me that my child was being admitted. “But I was in Boston and she was in New York. I never had a chance to thank her…” The man turned to the aron . “ Mrs. Lubling,” he said, “ Thank you!” The family later found out from the woman driving the car that Mrs. Lubling had called the billing person in Boston and said: “ Do you know who I am? I am on the board of NYU Medical Center in New York City. You can check it out. You take this child in right now and I will be responsible to send you $14,000 within a day! ” She then called four philanthropists, and within one hour, raised the $14,000 she needed. Mrs. Lubling’s life’s motto, “ You’ve got to do something to help!” The reason that I like this story is that very often we tell stories of great rabbis and great leaders, but Mrs. Miriam Lubling was a regular housewife who lived in Washington Heights. She lived near Columbia Presbyterian Hospital and started off visiting people. Slowly but surely she saw that there was a need, and she got involved. She wasn’t necessarily trained in this field, but she dedicated herself to helping people and she became a legend in her own time. This is just one beautiful story of many, where she said, “ You have to do something to help .” Have a wonderful day.
The Hida, in his sefer Kikar L’Even , chapter 7, says the following : We know the rule that “ There is no one that gets away without sinning..” When a person sins, there are negative prosecutors above that remind God of the sin. So a person can have zechuyot/merits , or the merits of his forefathers, and Hashem can give him a blessing based on those merits. But the prosecuting angels up in the heavens can stop the bounty from coming down. However, if a person loves peace and chases peace and has peace with everybody, there won’t be any prosecutors against him because middah keneged middah , if down here in this world no one has anything bad to say about him, that causes the prosecuting angels above to be quieted. That’s what it means that “ Someone that is easy going with people, God is easy-going with his sins.” This causes the prosecuting angels not to demand justice, to “not press charges.” When someone down here presses charges, it causes the prosecuting angels above to press charges. This is what it means that, “ God found a vessel for blessing and it is peace.” God has beracha , but there may be no recipient because it is being blocked by the prosecutors. Having peace stops the prosecutors. He says that’s why Sinat Hinam caused the Hurban . His Hiddush is that is wasn’t baseless hatred alone that caused the destruction, but rather that the hatred caused all the charges to be pressed. If not for the baseless hatred, the destruction would have been held back, because God would not have had a prosecuting lawyer to prosecute. Therefore, in order to have the Bet HaMikdash be rebuilt, we have to stop the prosecuting angels. And the only way to do that is to bring peace into the world. He says that this is why it says that “ God did not find a vessel other than peace.” The word “ find ” in Hebrew, metziah , is like a Segula . God was looking for a way to bypass and come up with an amulet of sorts, in order to stop the prosecutions angels- like when you go to a Mekubal and he puts something around your neck. God says, I found it! I found a Segula. I found the special vessel.“ People have special vessels and wine glasses from Mekubalim with all names of God on it, and all kind of Kabbalistic incantations. But the real Segula is Shalom, because that will cause all the prosecuting angels to be quiet and then God can bring all the blessings down and bring the final redemption s peedily in our days. Amen ! Shabbat Shalom
We continue with the words of the Bet HaLevi as he describes the need to have peace in order for Mashiach to come. He quotes the Gemara that says, “ God did not find a receptacle to hold blessing, other than peace.” Rav Wolbe explains that this is similar to the physical world, where you need a vessel to hold something. If you don’t have some thing to hold your expensive wine, the wine will spill all over. So too, God’s blessing needs a vessel. The receptacle to hold blessing is Shalom. That is the cup. If you don’t have peace, no blessing can be held. The Midrash Raba says, “ What does Pinchas get? He gets the Blessing of Shalom.” The Midrash continues and says the world will only function with peace . As it says about the Torah, “ all its paths go to peace. ” If you meet someone on the street. you tell him, “ Shalom .” In our Friday night prayers we mention the Succah of peace. We end the Amida with Shalom , and we end Bircat Kohanim with Shalom . Why does everything end with Shalom ? Because that is the vessel for blessing. If you want to get the blessings, you have to have Shalom. That is why on Shabbat we say Shabbat Shalom . There is a great stress on Shalom for Shabbat. The rabbis explain that since Shabbat is called Mekor HaBeracha/the source of all blessing, we need Shalom or else will all the Blessing go? Therefore, God tells us that Shabbat must be a day of peace. Because if there is no Shalom on Shabbat, all that beracha will not go anywhere. The person has to have the middah of Shalom as the receptacle for beracha . Furthermore, it says that a person gives the Kos Shel Beracha/ Cup of Beracha to his wife. The Gemara says the source for this is when the angels came to bless Avraham and Sara, and they asked where she was, in order to give her the Kos Shel Beracha. Why does it have to go to the wife ? Because if you want to have Beracha , you need to have Shalom in your house. So respect your wife, and have some peace by giving her the cup first, and then the Beracha will come down. In order to give Avraham and Sara beracha of children, shalom was necessary. That it the receptacle for all blessings. All the beracha that a man’s wife brings upon him, needs shalom to hold it. That is the importance of Shalom Bayit. B’ezrat Hashem we will continue with the wonderful lessons of shalom. Have a Shabbat Shalom
It says in Pirkei Avot (perek א Mishna יב ), One should be from the students of Aharon. He loves peace and he chases peace. Rabbenu Yona says that it means not just Ohev Shalom, that you love peace in your heart, but Rodef Shalom , that “ you chase it with your handiwork and actions. ” He says that there are people that love peace in their hearts, but they don’t trouble themselves to go out and create peace. That’s not called Going in the ways of peace in their hearts. To be considered a true student of Aharon HaKohen, you have to be a Rodef Shalom; you have to chase peace . You have to get involved. It’s not enough to be passive and stay out of arguments. If you see an argument and choose not to get involved, that’s not loving peace. There is a pasuk in tehilim that says, “ Desire peace and chase after it.” When you do that, you are student of Aharon HaKohen. Aharon didn’t just sit back and wait for something to come to him. He went out searching for how he could bring peace. That is what it means to be a Rodef Shalom. The reason for this is, as we have been mentioning, it’s the most important goal. A person has to chase it. When something is important to you, you don’t just sit back. You chase after it. We have been talking about shalom in relation to Ahavat Yisrael . The Sefer Hinuch, when discussing Mitzvah number 243, VeAhavta LeRe’echa Kamocha , says that the root of this Mitzvah comes from the general rule that you act toward your friend as you’d want to treated. You protect him like you’d protect yourself, you say thi ng s about him like you’d want said about yourself… you’re concerned with his honor and respect like you’re concerned with your own honor and respect… And when you act toward your friend in a way of love, peace and friendship and look out for his benefit, , the pasuk says on this type of person, “ The Jewish people that I’m proud of.” That’s a heavy statement. Nothing is better than when a child does something that causes his parent to say, “ I’m proud of him. ” It’s what we call nachat . When a person hears from another about something his son did- for example, helping another child who fell, that parent gets a big smile on his face, and feels happy and proud of him. Well, Hashem also takes pride too, so to say, When does God show off to the angels? What makes Him proud? VeAhavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/Shalom Jews. That’s what He’s proud of. The end goal is to make our Father in heaven proud of us. And we can only do that through shalom and Ahavat Yisrael.
The Rambam, in his sefer Yad HaHazaka , on the laws of Hanukah (chapter 4), tells us the well-known law that if a person does not have enough money for both the candles of Shabbat and the candles of Hanukah, he should purchase candles for Shabbat, because the purpose of lighting Shabbat candles is to bring peace to the home. If there is no light, there is no peace. People stumble and get into arguments. And, he says, we can see how great shalom is because God‘s holy name is erased, in order to bring peace between a husband and a wife. This is referring to when a man is suspicious of his wife, and God performs a miracle wherein the Parasha of Sotah is erased into waters, which acts as a sort of truth potion, to reveal whether the wife had sinned. The husband’s doubt would be removed forever, and peace could be reinstated in the home. So through this miracle, God allows His name to be erased, in order to bring peace. The Rambam continues and says, “ How great is peace? The whole purpose of Torah is to bring peace. “ This is a very strong statement. There is a Gemarah in Kiddushin that says, “ I created the Yetzer Hara and I created the Torah in order to cure it,” so that is what I would guess to be the purpose of the Torah. And the Gaon of Vilna says that the goal of Torah is to bring us to Bitachon. But there really is no contradiction. If you have bitachon in Hashem, you get along with people, and you have peace. And if your Yetzer Hara is controlled, you will also have peace. But the Rambam is saying that the end goal of overcoming your Yetzer Hara, and the end goal of Bitachon, which are both reasons that the Torah was given, is shalom . He proves it from a pasuk , “ The ways of Torah are the ways of sweetness, and all its paths, Shalom..” which means that all roads lead to peace in the Torah. This is an eye-opening way of looking at the Torah. Of course, this doesn’t mean that we can break the Torah, and just follow the spirit of the law, which is peace. We can’t think that just to make peace, we can do whatever we want. We can’t eat unkosher or not keep Shabbat in order to bring peace. Rather, we are referring to keeping the Torah properly , and understanding that the end goal is to bring to peace. This is a new way to look at Torah, at least for myself. I hope this was enlightening to others as well. Have a wonderful day.
We have been discussing the job of Eliyahu HaNavi in the future. He comes for one purpose: to bring peace into the world. We need that peace in the world in order for Mashiach to come, because Mashiach can’t come until we fix the scent of baseless hatred. The Maharit, Rav Yosef of Trani who lived in the times of Bet Yosef, brings down a fascinating concept (Parashat Pinchas derush2): Many of us know that Eliyahu HaNavi, who lives forever, was originally known as Pinchas. Pinchas killed the prince Zimri after he sinned with Kosbi bat Sur, the harlot who came out to entice the Jewish men. Pinchas risked his life, stabbed them both, and caused God’s anger to dissipate. God says of Pinchas, “ I will give him the covenant of Peace.” He got the Nobel peace prize. The question is, Pinchas was seemingly a murderer, so who did he make peace with? The answer is that he brought the ultimate peace, between God and the Jewish people. He brought kapara/atonement. Therefore, Pinchas is the ultimate peacemaker forever. And thus, Eliyahu HaNavi is the peacemaker, because God gave him that Nobel Peace Prize of the covenant of peace. That is why, as he quotes from the Midrash, all the Kohanim Gedolim came from Pinchas’ lineage. The job of the Kohen Gadol, especially on Yom Kippur, is to bring Selicha and Kapara . Eliyahu HaNavi is the man of ultimate peace, between God and the Jewish people. Pinchas and Eliyahu share this common theme. Furthermore, the Chatam Sofer says that, “ I will give him the covenant of peace,” is written in the future tense because the ultimate peace of Eliyahu HaNavi/Pinchas. will happen in the future, at the end of time. The Zohar says that it says “ Bnei Aharon” in order to stress that the Pinchas’ grandfather was Aharon HaKohen, and he got this middah of Shalom from his grandfather, who was Ohev Shalom V’Rodef Shalom. This was the trait of the Kohanim that was instilled in Pinchas, which will eventually save the world, Because he will be the one that will bring shalom , which we need for the ultimate coming of Mashiach. Have a wonderful day.
We continue with the theme that before Mashiach comes, we need to have peace, in order to fix the original sin of baseless hatred. Who will bring peace? Eliyahu HaNavi. How so? Firstly, he will stop arguments. Secondly, he will be the final opinion on Halacha. Furthermore, the Sefer Yaarot Devash (vol1, first derush ) explains the different Berachot of the Amida. He explains that when saying Hashiba Shoftenu/Bring us back our judges, one is supposed to think about the fact that we will have a Sanhedrin once again. Moshe Rabbenu gave semicha to 70 judges in the desert. Those judges gave semicha to other judges, and that continued on until the time of the Bet HaMikdash. Since the Bet Hamikdash was destroyed, we no longer have semicha . Today the term semicha is used when a rabbi is ordained, but it’s just a borrowed term. True Semicha must come from someone who got semicha from someone who got it, going all the way back to Moshe Rabbenu. But we don’t have anybody like this anymore. So how will we ever start up the Bet Din again, which we need for our court system, in order to set everything up for the Bet HaMikdash? His answer is that there is one man still alive today, named Eliyahu HaNavi. He never died. He was ordained from Moshe Rabbenu. Therefore, he is that man of tradition who will be able to give semicha . So Eliyahu HaNavi will bring shalom in that he will set up the judges, and when we have good judges, there is beracha in the world. That is why we say, every day in our prayers of Hashiba Shoftenu , “to remove anger and groaning from us.” We have many problems today such as Agunot/women who can’t get married because their husbands refuse to give them gets , deadbeat dads, business arguments.. all of this would not exist if we had a court. The court would whip and punish them until they gave in. But we don’t have a court system, so we are not in control today. We don’t really have a Bet Din that has any real force today. We are in a host country, and we follow their rules. We don’t have a justice system the way we should. America is beautiful, but as time goes on we see that there is what to be desired in the justice system. Therefore, we should have in mind when we pray Hashiba Shoftenu that we want our judges back. Many people don’t have much kavana on this beracha . But we want our judges back, because our judges will set up our system properly, and bring Shalom . And it’s Eliyahu HaNavi that will bring this about. Have a wonderful day.
We continue with the words of the Bet HaLevi. He tells us that we can see how our Galut/exile is much longer than the first exile, because the sin of hatred destroyed more than the horrible sins of the first Bet HaMikdash. Everything that we have today is all from the sins of that original hatred. Therefore, he says, there is a guarantee from God that before the final redemption, there has to be peace in the world. He quotes a pasuk in Malachi, (who was the last prophet) in chapter 3, where God says, “ Behold I will send to you Eliyahu HaNavi before the great awesome day comes . He will cause the hearts of the fathers to go upon the sons, and the hearts of the sons to go upon the fathers etc. ” The Bet HaLevi quotes this pasuk as a source that there will be peace in the world. Now, this pasuk doesn’t say anything about peace, but the Bet HaLevi is basing himself on a Rashi that says, simply, that it means that fathers and sons will get along with each other and coax each other along in the ways of serving Hashem. Then, Rashi explains that Eliyahu HaNavi‘s job is to bring peace into the world. That is why Eliyahu HaNavi must come before Mashiach. We need peace. Rashi’s source for this is a Mishna in Masechet Eduyot, chapter 8, where the Gemara discusses the reason for Eliyahu HaNavi’s coming before Mashiach. The Mishna says, “ Not to distance families, not to bring families close. Rather, to bring peace in the world.” Although the pasuk doesn’t mention shalom , the Mishna understands that Eliyahu HaNavi’s job is to bring peace. Why? Because if the whole original sin was a sin of hatred, we cannot have Mashiach come until we fix that sin. Eliyahu HaNavi is a man of peace, and that’s why we need him to come before Mashiach comes. The sefer Havot Yair, in chapter 192, makes an interesting point. He says that we are all familiar that Eliyahu HaNavi will come to answer all the questions that we have. Tiku , in the Gemara, stands for Tishbi,Yitaretz Kushot V’Abayot Eliyahu HaTishbi will answer all our questions. He explains that one of the reasons that we do not have peace is because there are arguments in Halacha . So Eliyahu Hanavi will come and bring peace between the different opinions. Everybody will agree on the Halacha and there will be peace. There will be no more arguments. Eliyahu HaNavi will say who is right and that will bring peace into the world.
In his very deep way, the Bet HaLevi explains the power of Sinat Hinam/baseless hatred. He quotes a concept brought down in the Ramban, at the beginning of Bereshit . The Ramban says that when God created the world, two terms were used: Beriah and Yetzirah . Beriah is loosely translated as “ to create ,”and Yetzirah means “to form . ” The Ramban explains that when God created the world, He first had to make something from nothing, which he describes with the Greek term called Koach Hee yu lee ( the heeyulee force). In modern Greek, there is word like that: Hyle (pronounced hile ), and according to Wikipedia in Greek philosophy, hyle refers matter, or stuff. The Greeks originally had no word for matter in general ( as opposed to raw material suitable for a specific purpose), so Artistotle adapted this word hyle for this purpose, in order to express the idea that everything physical is made of the same basic substance. This idea holds up well under modern science, although it may be thought of more in terms of energy or matter-energy ( Wikipedia) This is the force that the Ramban quotes as a Greek philosophy, but we believe that God made something from nothing and He created this force called the First Matter . And after God created the First Matter, He then formed everything into what we have today. Think of it as a Table of Elements of sorts, from which God continued to develop the world. But, of course, God created that original matter. The Bet HaLevi says that when it comes to sins, we have the same concept- Sinat Hinam is the “ hyle ” of all horrific sins that will ever be in the world. That’s why Sinat Hinam is so detrimental. When someone hates, he creates, to a certain degree. The “ matter ” for sin is Sinat Hinam. That’s why there is no end to this sin. It’s a “sin that is not revealed,” because this “hyle” isn’t something tangible that you can put your finger on- but look what grows from it afterwards. It’s why our Galut continues to grow. There is no end to the possibilities that can come from the original matter of Sinat Hinam , and that’s why it’s so severe. This is a phenomenal concept: every time someone has Sinat hinam/ baseless hatred, he becomes a creator of matter of future sins between man and his fellow man. Therefor to stop it, you have to stop creating that matter to begin with. Have a wonderful day.
I would like to share a story that I heard from my father-in-law Rabbi Nosson Scherman. The Skolener Rebbe had survived the labor camps and ghettos of the Holocaust. After the war, he ended up in a small town in Russia with many other survivors. As Pesach approached, he asked some of his Hasidim to find flour and come up with a matzah bakery of sorts. Everything went nicely and word got out at the Rabbi was giving out matzot. There wasn’t enough for everybody, but he did his best to accommodate the people. The Vizhnitzer Rebbe heard about this and sent his son to the Skolener Rebbe to ask for Matzot. The Skolener Rebbe was happy to help, and gave him 3 matzot, but the Vizhnitzer Rebbe’s son told him his father needed six matzot. The Skolener Rebbe explained that he felt bad, but there was a shortage and he could only give each person enough for one seder. The Vizhnitzer Rebbe’s son said that his father had insisted that he get six, and after much back and forth, the Skolener Rebbe gave him six matzot. Then, on Erev Pesach, the son of the Vizhnitzer Rebbe came back to the Skolener Rebbe with three matzot. The Skolener Rebbe was startled to see this, and said, “ It’s a half hour before Pesach and you’re bringing me back three matzot ? I don’t even know why you took six to begin with, and now you’re bringing them back?” To which the Vizhnitzer Rebbe’s son responded, “ My father knows you very well. He knew that you’d give away so many matzot that you wouldn’t save any for yourself. So my father asked for three extra matzot, so that he could give them back to you, so that you would have some for the Seder.” These were two great men, who understood each other, and were more sensitive to each other’s needs than they were to themselves. This is one of those winner- stories. Of course, it’s great to hear stories, but we also have to live by them. B’ezrat Hashem, we will try to emulate these great people in their selflessness. Have a wonderful day.
Rabbi Yisrael Salanter was once traveling by train from Salant to Vilna. He was in the smoking car, holding a lit cigarette. In those days, it was accepted to smoke cigarettes. It was considered healthy. A young man started complaining about the odor of the smoke. Other passengers were appalled. After all, they were in the smoking car. Despite that, Rabbi Salanter extinguished the cigarette and opened the train’s window to dissipate the fumes. A few seconds later, the young man closed the window and yelled at the elderly sage for opening it. This was the height of chutzpah, that shouldn’t be done to any elderly man, let alone the Gadol HaDor. Rabbi Salanter apologized to the man young for making him cold, and buried himself in a Jewish book of law. Upon arriving in Vilna, the young man was horrified to see throngs of people gathered to receive one of Europe’s most prominent Rabbis. The man immediately ran to the home where Rabbi Salanter was staying to beg forgiveness. “Don’t worry,” explained Reb Yisrael, “a trip can make one edgy. I bear no ill will. Tell me,” continued the mussar master, “why did you come to Vilna?” The young man explained that he was looking to become an ordained shochet , and an approbation from a Vilna rabbi would be universally accepted. Rabbi Salanter smiled. “My own son-in-law, Reb Elya Lazer, can test you. He is a Rav in Vilna. Rest up and tomorrow you can take the test. The next day, it was apparent that the man needed more than rest, for he failed miserably. However, that did not deter Rabbi Salanter. He encouraged the man to try again. For the next several weeks, Rabbi Yisrael arranged for tutors and prepared the young man well enough to pass Reb Elya Lazer’s make-up exam along with the tests of a host of other well-known Vilna rabbis. He even arranged for the man to get a job. Before leaving Vilna, the man appeared before Reb Yisrael with tears in his eyes. “Tell me, Rebbe,” he cried. “I was able to understand that you could forgive me for my terrible arrogance on the train. But why did you help me so much? That, I can never understand.” “Reb Yisrael sat him down, held his hand and explained. “It is easy to say ‘I forgive you’. But deep down, how does one really know if he still bears a grudge? Way down in my heart, I actually was not sure. The only way to remove a grudge is to take action. One who helps another develops a love for the one he aided. By helping you, I created a true love which is overwhelmingly more powerful than the words, ‘I forgive you’.” Recently my dear friend Aaron Moses from Hollywood, Florida mentioned that Chacham David Yosef was in town. Between Mincha and Arbit, he told this story and related it to the Parasha: Why did Yosef Hasadik take such good care of his brothers in Mitzrayim? The Torah stresses this. Wouldn’t it be enough just forgive them? He applied this story of Rav Yisrael Salantar and said that it was because Yosef wanted to make sure that his grudge was truly gone. Therefore, he went to great extremes in order to make sure that he forgave them wholeheartedly. This goes along with the approach that Yosef did forgive his brothers wholeheartedly, as we mentioned in a previous class. Have a wonderful day.
We continue with yet another beautiful story of an Adam Gadol , told over by Rabbi Geldwerth and printed in a pamphlet that was given out the Torah U’Mesorah convention. Rav Shmuel Auerbach z’lb, the great Rosh Yeshiva of Yerushalayim and son of the famed Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, used to visit widows, to give them hizuk , as did many Gedolim . Once on Shabbat HaGadol (the Shabbat before Pesach), he saw a boy standing in the house of a widow and asked him a question about his learning, in order to draw him in, but the boy burst out crying. He didn’t know the Gemara and was taken by surprise. What Rav Shmuel Auerbach thought would give the boy strength backfired. The rabbi trembled. Causing distress to an orphan is a very serious sin. He asked the boy’s mother if there were any toys in the house. The widow answered that everything had already been packed away in preparation for Pesach. The rabbi looked around the house and saw that there was a ball on the porch and he rushed out to get it. He took it and started to play soccer with a boy, back and forth under the table. The boy was elated, and the rabbi left. His students later asked their Rosh Yeshiva why he had been playing soccer with this boy- And on Shabbat? He answered that he had to ask mechila from this young boy, for causing him pain. But the boy was too young to ask mechila from as of yet. At his young age, he lacked the understanding and knowledge necessary to forgive. “ But I can try to make him forget,” the rabbi said . “When the boy looks back at today, what will he remember? Will he remember that he forgot the Gemarah or will he remember that Shmuel Auerbach played soccer with him under the table?” These stories make you shiver. This is the power of an Adam Gadol . Look at what they were capable of doing with their concern and sensitivity! There is a great rabbi today in Eretz Yisrael, Rabbi Asher Arieli. He has one of the biggest shiurim in the world, in the Mir Yeshiva in Israel. On Friday afternoons, he learns with the orphans in his neighborhood. He is a busy rabbi, with a lot to do but he knows that orphans have no one to learn with. This is the sensitivity and greatness of Anashim Gedolim, and we can only strive and learn from their sensitivity, B’ezrat Hashem .
As we have said in the past, what defines Gedolim is their tremendous sensitivity to people’s feelings, tragedies and events. Rabbi Lipa Geldwerth of Flatbush told the following story about Rav Shach at a recent Torah U’Mesorah convention. When Rabbi Lipa was a young man learning in Yerushalayim, a terrible tragedy occurred. Four young boys from the Ponevezh Yeshiva were on a search team, looking for someone that was missing, and heaven forbid, they were killed. The boys in the Yeshiva were in shock, they were distraught and could not be calmed down. They couldn’t learn for a few days. But to their wonderment, they saw that Rav Shach was learning with his regular hatmada, as if he had no feelings, heaven forbid. After three days, Rav Shach entered the Bet HaMikdash. His face was white and he could hardly walk. Someone asked if the Rosh Yeshiva was sick. “Sick? I look this way because I have not slept for three nights. How can I sleep after what happened to these four boys?” Rabbi Geldwerth added that he and his peers were not able to learn for three days but we could sleep. Rav Shach was able to learn, but how could he sleep? This is a tremendous story about what a Gadol is. Yes, as Rav Shach said in his lifetime, לוּלֵי תוֹרָתְךָ שַׁעֲשֻׁעָי אָז אָבַדְתִּי בְעׇנְיִי If not for Your Torah, my plaything, I would have been lost in my tragedies and difficulties. Rav Shach went through a lot. The Torah kept him alive and out of depression. He was able to learn even when difficulties happened. But to fall asleep at night? That was impossible. Simple people, when they are feeling people, can’t seem to pray or learn, or focus when life is difficult for others, but most of us can sleep at night, eventually. In the words of Rav Avraham Kalmanowitz, the late Rosh Yeshiva who started the Mir Yeshiva of Brooklyn, “What defines someone who cares about the Jewish people is that if he hears of a problem and he can’t fall asleep at night.” That is greatness. We should all have that empathy and feeling which is the signature of Jewish leaders. That was Moshe Rabbenu, who went out to see his people, and that’s what Ahavat Yisrael is.
The Bet HaLevi tells us that we have to be extremely careful not to get upset or angry with family members. The Chida, in his work Moreh Be’etzba (4:140), cites the story told in the Gemara (Gittin 52a) of two men whom the Satan would cause to get into a fight every week on Erev Shabbat. Rabbi Meir arrived in the town and spent three weeks there, bringing peace between these two people. As he was leaving, he heard a voice proclaim, “Woe that Rabbi Meir threw him [referring to the Satan] out of his house!” Through his peacemaking efforts, Rabbi Meir succeeded in overcoming the Satan and driving him away. The Chida explains that Erev Shabbat is a time when the yetzer hara comes into our homes and tries to create anger and tension. In his words, Friday afternoon is a dangerous time for fighting between husband and wife and with one’s the servants (or domestic help), as the yetzer hara tries very hard to instigate fighting. A G-d-fearing person will subdue his evil inclination so there will be no fighting or anger. To the contrary, one should pursue peace. The Ben Ish Chai (Parshat Vayera, Shana Sheniya, 1) cites the Chida’s comments and develops this concept further. He notes that people might naturally be inclined to attribute the mishaps and problems that arise on Erev Shabbat to the natural hustle and bustle of Shabbat preparation. In truth, however, these things happen because of the Satan. It is not a natural result of preparing for Shabbat, but rather, a concentrated effort of the Satan. Therefore, when a housekeeper, child or spouse makes a mistake on Friday, one should say, “What can I expect from him/her? Is it possible to fight the Satan?” We all know how things often go wrong on Shabbat afternoon. When this happens, one should just ignore the mishap and realize that this is an opportunity to overcome a challenge posed by the Satan. This is a very interesting concept. These types of situations have happened in all of our homes, I’m sure, and yet we usually attribute them, as a Ben Ish Chai says, to the rush of the Friday afternoon. But the Ben Ish Chai is telling us that no, it is more than that. Shabbat is known as Shabbat Shalom- a time of peace. Therefore, the yetzer hara makes a a concerted effort, before Shabbat comes in, to interfere and cause arguments, so that we go into Shabbat with a sour taste. Imagine a mother telling her daughter to take a vase fill it with water, and put the flowers in. With only minutes until Shabbat, the daughter walks from the sink to the dining room table, slips and the vase shatters all over the floor. The mother might get upset at her daughter, asking her why she’s so clumsy. But the Ben Ish Chai tells us to imagine that the Satan stuck his foot out and tripped the girl. What do you want from her? Is she able to overcome the Satan trying to cause arguments? This pressure includes the arguments over who takes a shower next, and all of the things that go on and any normal home on Erev Shabbat. We should not attribute all of this to the natural hustle and bustle of Friday afternoon. These things probably don’t happen when people are rushing to get out of the house for a family vacation. We must attribute it to the power of the Satan to interfere with Shabbat. Why does the Satan specifically interfere with Shabbat? Shabbat is the מקור הברכה – the source of all blessing – but in order to receive the blessings made available on Shabbat, one must maintain an aura of peace and serenity in the home. The Mishnah in Masechet Uktzin comments, אין כלי מחזיק ברכה אלא השלום – “There is no better receptacle for blessing than peace.” Everything needs a vessel or receptacle. If you pour wine into a glass, and the glass has a crack in it, even the best wine will spill all over the floor. The receptacle to hold blessing is Shalom. We say Shabbat Shalom because we need peace on Shabbat, in order to receive all the blessings. The Satan’s job is to interfere with this, and that is why he tries to make machloket on Erev Shabbat. If we keep all of this in mind, we will save ourselves from the most argumentative time of the week. Have a wonderful day.
We continue with lessons from the story of Yosef and his brothers: At the end of Parashat Vayechi, the brothers sent a message to Yosef from their father that they should be forgiven. Yosef cried and he said, Of course, don’t worry, I’m not in the place of God. And then he added, “ You thought upon me evil (i.e. you planned to do something evil to me) but God ( had another plan and) made it good.” That is the simple way of reading that pasuk: You had a bad plan and God turned it around . But Rav Eliyahu Svei quotes from the Targum Yonatan ben Uziel, which asks why the brothers even felt a need to send Yosef a message seeking forgiveness. Why would they think that anything had changed? He explains that after Yaakov Avinu died, Yosef stopped hosting the brothers for meals. They assumed that it was because he was upset with them, to which Yosef responded, “ You thought bad about me - You misunderstood what I did.” The reason Yosef did not invite them was because for the past 17 years, when they had been together, Yaakov Avinu placed Yosef at the head of the table. It had always bothered Yosef that his older brother Reuven was not seated at the head of the table, but out of respect for his father, Yosef did what he asked, and sat at the head. But after Yaakov Avinu passed away, Yosef felt conflicted. On one hand, he was the king, so he should be at the head of the table. But on the other hand, Reuven was the older brother, so he should be at the head of the table. Yosef found himself in a quandary, and since he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t invite them. But it wasn’t because, God forbid, he had any hard feelings toward them. Rather, he was concerned about hurting his brother Reuven’s feelings. And perhaps Yosef didn’t want tell the brothers this, because he was uncomfortable questioning what his father had done. He wasn’t sure if that would be a lack of respect for his father. Thus, what Yosef meant was, “ You thought bad about what I was doing but God knew my plans. God knows what I was thinking. I was only thinking good.” Aside for the lesson in judging others favorably, Rav Svei says that we see from here to look at how Yosef worked on his middot . When someone has been doing some thing for 17 years, it becomes habit, but although Yosef ate every meal for 17 years at the head, he still wondered if Reuven should be at the head of the table. Therefore, the moment that Yaakov Avinu was no longer there, Yosef wondered how he could possibly sit there and risk insulting his older brother. That was the sensitivity of the Shevatim , of Yosef, and that is what we have to learn. Have a wonderful day.
There is a Gemara that speaks of the Aseret Harugeh Malchut/ the Ten Martyrs that were killed by the Romans in the times of the Tena’im , in the era of Second Bet HaMikdash. The rabbis of Kabbalah say that these great rabbis were killed to atone for the sin of the ten Shevatim selling their brother Yosef into captivity.. Rabbenu Bachye and other Rishonim ask a question about this: why did the Shevatim have to suffer, if Yosef had forgiven them? As we mentioned, Yosef reassured them, and told them not to worry. So why were they punished? Rabbenu Bachye answers that Yosef Didn’t explicitly say, “ Ani Mochel/I forgive you.” That is why some people are careful to ask a person they are seeking forgiveness from to actually say the words “ Machul/ I forgive. ” It’s not enough to just think it in your heart. A lesser known answer to this question comes from the Sefer Hasidim, written by Rav Yehuda haHasid, an early Rishon from the times of the Tosafot . He says, clearly, that Yosef did forgive his brothers. The Chida, in his Sefer Brit Olam , a commentary on the Sefer Hasidim, asks the same question. If Yosef forgave them, as it says in Sefer Hasidim, why would the tribes have to come back reincarnated as Gilgulim and die Al Kiddush Hashem, as the Ten Martyrs? The Chida say that yes, Yosef forgave them wholeheartedly. But what Yosef Hasadik forgave helped for the sin against him. However, there is still the matter of the sin against God. And since God is exacting with the pious, like a hairsbreadth, although they got mechila from Yosef, it wasn’t enough. These are of the wonders of the God who is perfect, that is able to do this kind of judgment. For us, the point is that we have to be aware. A sin against man is always a double sin. It’s a sin against man, and it also has within it a sin against Hashem. So even after you have appeased your friend, you still have to ask forgiveness from God. Another powerful lesson in Ahavat Yisrael. Have a wonderful day
In Parashat Veyechi , it says, “ His teeth will be white from milk. ” There is calcium in milk, which seems to help teeth. So this was a blessing that Yaakov Avinu gave to the Shevatim that they would have an abundance of milk. But the Gemarah in Mesechet Ketubot (11b) reads the pasuk a little differently, and says, “ Better is the one who shows the white of his teeth to his friend, more than someone who gives him a glass of milk .” So says the Gemarah, read this pasuk as, “ The white of your teeth is better than a glass of milk.” Rabbi Ades once explained this graphically- Imagine a man standing outside of a shul on a very hot day, giving out cold glasses of milk at a stand. But as he is in a hurry, he just hands the glasses of milk over to people quickly. Nearby, there’s another man, who’s not giving out anything, but he smiles to each of the people as they leave the shul, and wishes them a good day. Who is doing more for the person? This Gemara says that the one who is giving a smile is doing more. Rabbi Ades explains that we can see from here that giving somebody emotional support is greater than giving them physical support. People need positive emotional feelings, and a smile will do more for a person than a glass of milk -even on an empty stomach. A person can survive on an empty stomach, but if he has an empty spirit, that is even harder to deal with. So when we give someone the white of our teeth, it is greater than a glass of milk. The Chafetz Chaim reads it a little differently. He says, “Greater is the man that makes his friend’s teeth white… ” The one who makes his friend. smile is greater than the one who gives him a glass of milk. However you read the pasuk, whether it’s you smiling at your friend, or making him smile, the lesson is the same: Emotional support is greater than physical support. Have a wonderful day.
At the end of Parashat Vayechi, the brothers send a message to Yosef saying, “ Your father commanded before he died, to tell Yosef, ‘Please forgive your brothers for their sins etc.‘“ But the Midrash Tanchuma says, in Parashat Vayechi, “ We searched and we didn’t find that Yaakov said this. From this we can see how powerful peace is, that God wrote the power of Shalom.” In other words, Yaakov never actually gave this command. Yaakov did not suspect Yosef of not forgiving his brothers, nor of doing anything wrong. But the brothers were afraid that Yosef might be upset at them and show his anger after their father had died. Therefore, they created a story. One might think that this is lying, that it was improper for them to create a story like that. Therefore, the Torah tells us not to make that mistake. Sometimes you are allowed to bend the truth for shalom . The original source for this is Avraham and Sara. Sara told Hashem that her husband was old, but God change the wording to say that she said she was old. So God Himself changed the story, for the purpose of shalom . God is a God of truth and yet He changed it. So too, here, the Torah is teaching us the same with the brothers. Why does the Torah see fit to teach us the same lesson twice? Because one might think that Shalam Bayit/ peace in the home between husband and wife is extremely important. As it says, God’s name is erased to bring shalom bayit to the home. But we don’t find that you would erase God’s name to get along with your brother. So people might wonder whether peace among the extended family is as important as among husband and wife. They might ask, Can we also change the truth for brotherly love? Therefore, we have this additional lesson, at the end of Parashat Bereshit, teaching us that brotherly love is so important that you can change the truth, in order for brothers to stay at peace.
The Parshiot that we have read over the past few weeks about Yosef and his brothers have many lessons in Ahavat Yisrael , which will be the foundation for our upcoming classes. The Baal Turim, in Bereshit chapter 49, brings down that Yaakov called in his sons on his final day and, as Rashi tells us, he wanted to reveal the ketz/end of time to them, but it was not revealed. So Yaakov wondered if perhaps there was a sin amongst them, and as it says, he search through the names of the tribes and there was no letter ח or ט - which spells sin amongst them. After further analysis, Yaakov saw that there was no ק or צ either, which spells קץ - end ( as in, end of the exile) So although there was no sin, there was also no end. The way I had always understood this is that they are proud to say there was no sin, but on the other hand there’s also no end. But there is a different way of looking at this Baal Turim brings down.. The Gemara in Masechet Yoma contrasts the first Bet HaMikdash with the second Bet HaMikdash. On the first Bet HaMikdash it says. “ Their sin was revealed ( the cardinal sins of idolatry, adultery and murder were out in the open) and the end was also revealed.” It was announced that the Galut would last 70 years. Whereas with the second Bet HaMikdash, their sins were not revealed, and so therefore, “ the end was also not revealed.” The sin of the Second Bet HaMikdash was under-cover, silent killer of Sinat Hinam. Since the sin was unseen, the end was also not revealed. That is why we are still in Galut . And that is why, when Yaakov Avinu looked at their names, and he couldn’t see the חט /sin, it was not a good thing. That meant it was a hidden sin, an undercover sin. Everyone looks good on the outside, but there is a hidden beneath the surface, the sin of Sinat Hinam , and therefore, he could not reveal the end to them, because that sin was there amongst them. So we go back to the twelve tribes, and see that on his final day, Yaakov Avinu was telling them of their need to fix the sin of Sinat Hinam.
There are many thoughts on this week’s Parashat Veyechi which connect to Ahavat Yisrael . The first is that Yaakov Avinu was about to die and called for his son Yosef. He asked Yosef to bury him, and to “ Do with me a Hesed V’Emet/ kindness and truth.” This refers to burial, which is called Hesed Shel Emet- A kindness that is true. It is called this because there is no ulterior motive involved. When a person goes to someone’s wedding, he thinks that maybe the person will come to his wedding, when a person goes to someone’s bar mitzvah, he thinks those people will come to his son’s bar mitzvah. And likewise for Brit Milah and other functions. But when a person attends someone’s funeral, he doesn’t do it because he thinks this person will attend his funeral. You can’t get any payback from doing something for a person who passed away. That is why it’s called a Hesed shel Emet / true kindness because there is no motive of getting payback. The Shelah Hakadosh says this pasuk that the main hesed is when you do something -not to be rewarded. When one does such a Hesed, he is called a Nediv/ a generous person. But, he says, when somebody does a kindness in order to get repaid, he is called a businessman . He’s making a hesed investment, in order to get paid back later. It’s like putting money into an ‘emotional bank account.’ Eventually, he would like to withdraw that “money” at some point. That is not a Hesed Shel Emet . That’s business man. The Shelah says that a person has to condition himself to do true kindness . It has brought down in the Sefarim that a person should try to do a kindness that nobody knows about. Rabbi Miller lists that in his 10 steps to greatness. A Kindness that nobody knows about, that you won’t get paid back for. For example, if you’re coming home from a wedding late one night and you notice that your neighbor forgot to put his garbage out, bring their garbage to the curb, and don’t mention it to him. The next day, when he sees his garbage on the curb, he may think that maybe he did remember it after all, but you just go on your merry way and say nothing. That’s a Hesed shel Emet . Anonymously adding time to somebody’s parking meter…. there are endless examples of how a person can do acts of kindness that nobody knows about, that he’s not looking to get rewarded for. He says that when you do this, you are following in the ways of Hashem, because God is the ultimate in doing kindness for free. God doesn’t need anything. God created the world to do kindness. He is not looking for any payback. He didn’t need anything. So when we do Hesed shel Emet we are doing kindness like Hashem.
There is a beautiful thought from last week’s Parasha about Ahavat Yisrael that I would like to share. Long lost brothers Yosef and Binyamin reunited after not seeing each other for over 20 years. They hugged, kissed and cried. It says Yosef cried on Binyamin’s shoulder, and Binyamin cried on Yosef’s shoulder. Rashi explains that Yosef was crying for the two Betei HaMikdash in Binyamin’s area that would be destroyed, and Binyamin cried on Yosef’s shoulder for the Mishkan in Shiloh that would be destroyed. Rav Eliyahu Svei asks the obvious question- They hadn’t seen each other for over 20 years and this is what they are crying over? Cry that you haven’t seen each other for 22 years. Why bring in the Bet HaMikdash- that wouldn’t be for another few thousand years! It says “ The problem in its time. ” So why cry for something that didn’t happen yet? The answer that he gives is that the brothers, when meeting after all those years, were hoping that they had fixed the sin. Yehuda had cosigned for Binyamin, and the brothers were united. Their grievances were behind them, and they were hopefully on the track of Ahavat Yisrael. They wanted to see whether they had really achieved that, so they looked into the future with Ruach Hakodesh and saw that no, they had not yet fixed the sin. The Bet HaMikdash would eventually be destroyed, because the brotherly love would not be to its fullest. But even so, says Rav Betzalel Pinhasi, from Yeshivat Birkat Ephraim in Bnei B’rak, look at what happened: Yosef cried over Binyamin’s Bet HaMikdash, and Binyamin cried about Yosef’s Mishkan that was destroyed. Each one didn’t cry for his own loss, he cried for the other one’s loss. There’s a story like that, of two great Hasidic rebbis who had lost their dynasties in the Holocaust. One said to the other, “ I can’t cry for my own Bet HaMikdash, for my lost congregation. On that, I have to say Gam Zu L’Tova and I have to accept it. But I can cry over your Bet HaMikdash, over your lost dynasty and your congregation that was lost.” Each one hugged the other, and cried over the other one’s losses. That is an expression of Ahavat Yisrael. As an elderly man, Rabbi Meir Chodesh, the Mashgiach of Yeshivat Chevron was in the hospital, surrounded by his family. A resident once came in to draw his blood and the Rabbi asked his family to leave. Once the resident did his job, the family came back in and asked the Rabbi why they hadn’t been permitted to stay during the procedure. The Rabbi replied that it was hard to find veins on an old man. Even a professional would have difficulty with this, and since this was a resident, he would probably need to poke a few times and maybe miss the vein. So why add the pressure of the family watching him mess up? Why embarrass him more? Therefore, the Rabbi decided to send everybody out, so that the resident shouldn’t have to go through that embarrassment and pressure. Instead of insisting on a real doctor, he chose to not embarrass the resident. He cared more about the resident’s embarrassment than his own personal pain.
I would like to share some thing from Artscroll’s new book, Reaching Higher , by Rabbi Binyamin Pruzansky : When Rav Moshe Halberstam, a renowned posek in Eretz Yisrael, passed away, his family was unable to find his will. They were certain that he had written a will, but no amount of searching brought it to light. On the morning shivah had ended, one of the sons decided to go to his father’s grave to pray that the family would be able to find the will. Standing before his father’s grave, he pleaded, “ Father, please come to me in a dream and tell me where you put the will. ” He prayed there for quite a while and then went home. That night, his father came to him in a dream. The son related that his father told him exactly where the will was hidden, and when he woke up, he went to that place and found it exactly where his father had said it would be. This proved to him that the dream was a true communication from his father and not a figment of his imagination. Based on this certainty, he felt an obligation to share some of the other powerful truths his father conveyed to him from the Next World: “ I want to share with you three things. First, when Chazal (Pesachim 50a) tell us that the next world is an upside-down world, it is true. The ones who are downtrodden and destitute in your world are given great honor in the world above. The ones who get great honor in your world do not necessarily have that status here. “Secondly, Hashem has the greatest nachat when Klal Yisrael, the Jewish people, joins together as one people to sing songs of praise to Him, especially on Shabbat and Yom Tov. And when they come to shul to pray and to learn Torah, that brings Hashem tremendous joy. “And thirdly, the greatest nachat ruach/pleasure a person can bring to Hashem is when he goes out of his way to do an act of kindness for another Jew. (The first two truths sound like they were referring to the Jewish people at large, whereas this sounds like it is referring to the individual) When you give your heart and soul to do chessed for Hashem’s children, and when you take care of them with mesirut nefesh ( which means really giving up of yourself, your time, money or sleep) you can’t imagine how much nachat Hashem has from that act.” We all want to get Hashem pleasure a good feeling. And although we don’t base ourselves on dreams, we are hearing a message in this “authenticated” dream that makes sense. We already know this, but sometimes it gives us more Hizuk when we hear something presented in such a light. Hashem truly gets great pleasure and good feeling from our acts of kindness. That is what our topic Ahavat Yisrael is all about. But this is really just an added incentive. Aside from making your friend happy, you’re making your Father in heaven happy.
We continue with the Bet Halevi who quotes the words of the Masechet Derech Eretz, chapter 3: You should be humble in front of all people, To people of your household, even more than everyone else, and if you complain, and fight with your household, you will end up in Gehinom These are powerful words. We have been discussing complaining all week, but now it hits home (no pun intended) . To not have complaints in your household is a whole different story. That’s the biggest territory that we have to work on- how we are in our own homes. Rabbi Ades once told the following story: When he was in his mid-forties, his friend once asked him to join him in going into Galut/exile . The great rabbis of old used to go into self-imposed exile. They’d leave their homes and their positions, and go to places where nobody knew them. They would sit unknown in a shul, without any honor, go from house to house for meals, and spend their time learning, connecting to God and meditating in peace, without getting respected. This friend wanted to take a few weeks during the summer when they were off to go to Haifa, where no one knew them, sit in shul and learn all day, got to people houses for meals.. etc. He thought that this was the way they could get closer to God. Rabbi Ades responded, “ You don’t want to go into Galut, you want to go on a picnic! It’s much easier to go into Galut than to stay at home and deal with your crying kids and your wife… you just want a vacation.” People don’t realIze that you can grow from the house that you’re in, by overcoming the challenges of day to day life in your household, by not complaining, by complimenting . Another Rabbi Ades story: Many years ago, we went to Meron on Lag B’Omer, and from there, we went straight to Rabbi Ades’ house just as the sun was setting on Lag B’Omer. We excitedly told him all the different things we had done, and we mentioned that we had gone to the Arizals’s Mikveh. It says that when you go into the ice cold of the Arizal’s Mikveh, your sins are forgiven. Rav Ades answered that every time you walk into your house, when you open the door, think that you are diving into the Arizal’s Mikveh. The Arizal’s Mikveh is very cold, and you have to get ready for the change in temperature. You brace yourself for it, because you know you are acquiring great levels. Likewise, every time you walk into your house and there are challenges and difficulties, and you walk in with a smile and keep your composure, you are diving into the Arizal’s Mikveh. But the main thing is to realize it, so the you can brace yourself and say, “ Wow! This is cleansing! This is great!” This is the cleansing factor of dealing with the day to day life in your household without complaining. To be continued…
The Chafetz Chaim, in his sefer Shem Olam ( vol 1, chapter 3), offers a technique for avoiding complaints when someone doesn’t fulfill what you felt he should have done for you. For example, if you want to borrow money for a down payment on a house, and the person you approach refuses. He doesn’t owe you anything, and you have no right to complain, but in your heart, you say, “ What do you mean?This guy knows me. Why doesn’t he want to help me?” Or when the shadchan doesn’t mention a shidduch for you….or any of the myriad of examples of when you thought someone should do something for you and they didn’t… How you avoid complaint? He says that you have to realize that anything that comes to you, or doesn’t come to you is ultimately decided by Hashem. God decides whether that person should do good with you. He has freedom of choice, but ultimately he can’t do something for you if God doesn’t agree that it should happen. He gives the example of when Eliyahu HaNavi was on his way to certain place and needed food. Hashem told him the He commanded a widow to feed him. That lady wasn’t a prophet. We don’t find her communicating with God. But it means that if she decided to do something, it was God that made her do it. Therefore, if someone doesn’t fulfill what you wanted him to, you can’t have any complaints, because it was decided that he is not the messenger. He quotes a “ Gadol Echad/ Great one ( he doesn’t say who) that says it’s comparable to someone looking for a man whose name is Reuven . He asks people to help him find Reuven, and they tell him Reuven is in a certain area. When he goes there, he sees a man and asks if he’s Reuven. But that’s not Reuven, and neither is the next person he asks. Can he complain against the man because he’s not Reuven, he’s Shimon? Can he reprimand him for not being Reuven? It’s the same thing with complaints, says the Chafetz Chaim. When you complain about someone who didn’t do something for you, you’ve made a mistake. He is not the Reuven you are looking for . If he was the Reuven you were looking for, he would have given it to you! This is a heavy duty Emunah Bitachon approach to not having complaints against people. Of course, as we mentioned yesterday, sometimes we have a right to complain. Just like Emunah and Bitachon doesn’t require saying that if someone dented your car, it was meant to be and therefore you don’t ask for compensation. That’s a mistake. We have rights. There are times when it’s right to get paid, and there are times when you have a right to complain. But today we are talking about when you don’t have a right to be complain. How do you deal with it? By saying that this is what Hashem wanted. Sometimes Hashem wants you to ask for the money or go to court, if that’s the right thing to do. Sometimes He wants you to complain. But we are talking about when you don’t have a right to complain or demand money, and you feel taken advantage of. The answer is- You were not. Have a wonderful day.
We have been discussing the middah of complaining. The Mishna in Baba Metzia, (chapter 6, Mishna 1) says, “ Someone who hires workers and they fool each other, they only have complaints on each other. “ In other words, if I told Jack to hire painters for me for $100 an hour and Jack found painters and offered them $80 an hour and they took the job, and then later find out that I originally offered $100 an hour (Jack is not profiting from the difference he’s just doing me a favor saving me money), it’s not right for Jack to take the money away from them for no reason. If someone is willing to pay, there’s no reason to do that. Therefore, the fellows that were hired have a right to complain to the middleman. That is what the Mishna says. Rabbi Yisrael Salantar, in his sefer Or Yisrael wonders what it means that he has a “ right ” to complain. Can’t someone just complain if they want to? The answer is no. You need a rights. Just like if somebody dents your car, you have a right to ask him for money, and there are legal rights for monetary compensation in our Torah, there are certain situations where you have a right to complain. You have a right to tell somebody that what they did wasn’t right. But, he says in other cases, when you don’t have a right to complain, complaining is an improper activity. If someone owes you $100 and you forgive the debt, then you don’t have a right to go back and ask him for the money. The same thing is true when it comes to the rights of complaint. Once somebody has been appeased and has forgiven the person, he no longer has the right to complain. And if that person does complain, he is illegally complaining. When you forgive the person, you give up your right to complain. Rav Salantar offers a good way to stop having complaints against people. Just day to yourself (or to the person), “I am mochel him/I fully forgive him, ” and then afterwards, if you have a complaint against him, it is improper. And since no one wants to act improperly, this will prevent the complaining. Just like nobody would try to reclaim a debt that they already forgave, you can’t reclaim a complaint that you forgave. Of course, this is regarding great Baalei Mussar, who are in great control of all of their emotions and actions. But the main take-away lesson for us is that complaints are not a right in all circumstances. You have to have a right to complain, and you need the T orah, a rabbi, and learning, in order to know when you have the right, and don’t have the right to complain. When you don’t have the right to complain, in the words of Rav Salantar, it is a great sin. Have a wonderful day.
Today we continue with our discussion of the negativity of complaining, as brought down by the Bet HaLevi, due to it being a cause for Sinat HinamBaseless Hatred. We can’t ignore the continuation of the pasuk in Shaare Teshuva on this topic. He tells us that at times, “ The complainer thinks of the kindness of God, that this is also God‘s vengeance against him..” God is being kind, and you think that God is being vengeful! As it says when the Jewish people committed the sin of the spies, “ You complained in your tents, and you said that ‘God hates us,and that is why he took us out of Egypt.’” That came from the complainer. And he continues with that uncommon word, Nargan , which we quoted in Mishleh (18/8) and in 16/28: וְנִרְגָּן מַפְרִיד אַלּוּף The Nirgan/ complainer alienates Aluf Shlomo HaMelech used that word many times, but it shows up before that, in a pasuk in the Torah, describing the sin of the spies. The root of their sin was complaining. Therefore, he says, stay away from complainers, because if you take the path of complainers, you will not know peace. Instead, train yourself, like we said yesterday, to give others the benefit of the doubt. It works for people and it works for God. Rav Wolbe and many others make this point. I recall a mashal used by Rav Wolbe. He said a heart is like a room. When all the windows are closed, you can’t see out of it, you can only see yourself. But if you open the windows, you can see outside. You can see people and God. Our Middot don’t differentiate for God and people. If you are a complainer, you will complain against God and people. And if you recognize the good, you will recognize the good of God and people. Therefore, when we talk about training in the trait of not being a complainer, it is important to mention both God and people. We have to train ourselves to appreciate all the goodness of God, even when things don’t look good. When the Jews were complaining and dragging their feet through the desert, God was doing it for their own good. We have to train ourselves not be complainers toward God or people, and that will training will give us the ability to love people. You cannot love people if you are a complainer.
This class is dedicated Le'ilui Nishmat Chana Bat Gilsom, Mrs. Emy Missry ah. She went through many hardships and didn't complain. We continue with Rabbenu Yonah in Shaare Teshuva , who quotes our Midrash, “ Do not increase complaints, because it will stop you from sinning.” He continues and tells us that the complainer, quite often, is an ingrate, because he does not recognize the good that is going on around him. He only focuses on the bad. The complainer actually rewards good deeds with bad, because he only sees the bad. The punishment for such a person, who only sees and focuses on the bad is, as a pasuk in Mishleh (17,13) says, ״ Someone who rewards good with evil, evil will not leave his home. ״ The commentaries explain that God works Middah k’neged Middah/measure for measure. This man who does not appreciate the people around him, who finds only fault with others, measure for measure, when he goes home to his house, his family won’t see the good that he is doing. They won’t see how hard he works, or the amount of effort he puts in to bring home a livelihood. His family will not appreciate him. One who does not appreciate others, measure for measure does not get appreciated by those whom he does good for. This is a very powerful incentive. We all want to be appreciated. So middah k’neged middah , if I appreciate others, others will appreciate me. The way to start appreciating others, is to train ourselves, to see the good. It takes training because it doesn’t come naturally. Rabbi Ades once went to a Sheva Berachot and saw someone sniff the chopped liver and make a face. The next guy did the same thing, and then nobody ate the chopped liver or the entrée, and the whole Sheva Berachot had a bad flavor. Rabbi Ades noticed that rather than seeing all the good, the beautiful plates and the candles etc, this one person made one sniff and spread a negative feeling. So Rabbi Ades decided to do the opposite. At the next Sheva Berachot , he picked up the rolls and commented on how soft they were. He commented on and complemented everything, and he noticed that when he came home, his children were copying him. The more we focus on noticing the good and complementing, the more it spreads, and the opposite is true as well. So besides the Middah K’neged Middah factor, it becomes a natural occurrence. If we don’t appreciate things around us, our children will learn that trait as well, and then they won’t appreciate us either. Have a wonderful day.
We continue with the words of the Bet HaLevi, who quotes from Mesechet Derech Eretz, chapter 9. “ Rav Eliezer Hakapar says, Stay away from complaining, for if you complain that will add sin.” This is a very important point, so, B’ezrat Hashem , we will spend some time on it. The negativity of complaining impacts our Ahavat Yisrael/ love of our fellow Jews, and it actually causes hatred. Shlomo HaMelech, the wisest of men, tells us in Mishleh (chapter 16 verse 28) אִישׁ תַּהְפֻּכוֹת יְשַׁלַּח מָדוֹן וְנִרְגָּן מַפְרִיד אַלּוּף A man who flip-flops sends arguments And a Nirgan/complainer separates the “Aluf.” Rashi says that Aluf refers to Alufo shel Olam/the Chieftain of the world- God , which means that complainers separate themselves from God. That is a powerful line, but before we get to how complaining impacts God, we will explore how it impacts people. Rabbenu Yonah, in Shaare Teshuva ( gate 3,letter 231) talks about the Nirgan/complainer , quoting another pasuk from Shlomo HaMelech, who, in many places, discusses complainers. In Mishleh (18/8) it says, “ דִּבְרֵי נִרְגָּן כְּמִתְלַהֲמִים וְהֵם יָרְדוּ חַדְרֵי־בָטֶן The words of the complainer are bruising ( or shocking ) and they enter the depths of the belly (one’s most inner self) Who is this Nirgan ? Rabbenu Yonah says he’s the man that is always complaining, and who will find complaints about everything. Whatever his friend does or says, he is always complaining, even when the friend is trying to help. And when there’s a mistake, it turns malicious. He always turns himself into the victim, but Rabbenu Yonah says that he is not the victim. He is the perpetrator. His constant complaints are like darts in the other person’s heart. Rabbi Ades said that the biggest destroyer of Shalom Bayit is complaints. Every complaint is another dart in the heart. He once told a young man, that every time that he complained to your wife, he should throw a dart into the wall. Then he told the young man to see how easily those holes in the wall could be filled. Not that easy. That is what happens when a person constantly complains, and it is a starter of Sinat Hinam and the opposite of Ahavat Yisrael . B’ezrat Hashem , we will speak more about this over the week. Rabbi Ades once told some future husbands to keep track of how many they make. What is a complaint? Even the most minor things -for example, “ Why did you put the cups over there? They belong over there .” That is a complaint. For homework, be aware of how many complaints you make. Have a wonderful day.
These past few days, we have discussing the concept that you cannot have love for somebody else until you’re happy with your own situation. Rav Ades once said that it is actually a pasuk in Devarim, Perek לג/כג Moshe Rabbenu‘s blessing to Naftali was, וּלְנַפְתָּלִי אָמַר נַפְתָּלִי שְׂבַע רָצוֹן וּמָלֵא בִּרְכַּת ה׳ “Naftali is satiated with good will, and is full of the blessing of God. Rav Ades said that it’s not that he is happy because he is full of the blessings of God, but rather, it’s the opposite. First he is שבע רצון- he’s satiated with good will. Just as people can be satiated with food and drink, he was satiated with Ratzon. He was happy and at peace. He was Sameach B’Helko/happy with his lot. One of the commentaries says, פּוֹתֵחַ אֶת־יָדֶךָ וּמַשְׂבִּיעַ לְכׇל־חַי רָצוֹן “God opens up His hands and He satiates everybody with good will.“ That is the real satiation that we need-not with food or drink or money. We should be satisfied and at peace with ourselves, and not be chasing anything or anybody. This traces itself back to Ve’Ahavta Le’Reecha Kamocha/loving your friends like you love yourself.. There is a Mishna in Masechet Avot (chapter 5, Mishna 13), which talks about four types of people that give Sedaka: The first is a person who wants to give, and doesn’t want others to give. On him we say, “He has a bad eye on other people.” This person doesn’t want other people to be successful. He wants to have all the charity for himself The second person wants others to give, but he doesn’t want to give. The third person wants to give, and he wants others to give as well. That is a Hasid/a pious one- this person wants to be successful and he wants his friends to be successful also. On that, Rav Yosef Ibn Shushan, on Pirkei Avot says, “That is the man of Ve’Ahavta Le’Reecha Kamocha- he wants to give, and he wants his friends to have that same merit. He’s not looking to keep the zechuyot for himself. The fourth person doesn’t want to give and he doesn’t want others to give. He is considered a Rasha. We are aiming for Hasidut. We want to give and we want others to give. We aren’t out to keep everything for ourselves. Be’ezrat Hashem, we will be the שבע רצון and be satiated with good will. פּוֹתֵחַ אֶת־יָדֶךָ וּמַשְׂבִּיעַ לְכׇל־חַי רָצוֹן “God opens up His hands and He satiates everybody with good will.”
Yesterday we mentioned a very deep point from Rav Yehezkiel Levenstein- that in order to reach Avahat Yisrael or loving anyone else, you must first be comfortable with yourself. If you aren’t comfortable with yourself, you can’t possibly love anybody else. Rav Levenstein bases this on the story of Kayin and Hevel. God told Kayin, “ Why are you upset? Why has your face dropped?” Kayin was jealous of Hevel because Hevel’s korban was accepted. He was jealous because Hevel had sur passed him in religion. This suggests that he was a good man, and that he wanted to be better, but ultimately, it turned into murder. The Torah tells us this story to teach us a lesson: It can happen to anybody. Our Middot become aroused when we don’t have inner peace, and we aren’t happy with what we are doing. However, says Rav Levenstein, it’s a tight rope: On one hand, we have to be happy with our situation physically and spiritually, but at the same time we have to continue to grow. This is not really a contradiction. In business, we have to celebrate our accomplishments while still trying to grow the business at the same time. Rav Ades once said that a person can’t just go to his accountant and talk about the money that he lost. If he doesn’t also mention the money that he made, he can’t run a business. Rav Yehezkiel says, in very strong words, “ Reshit Avodah/ The first step, in our service of God, is to be happy with our situation. And if you don’t serve God with happiness, there is no hope. Heaven forbid, who knows what level you will drop to. This concept is a novel point for many people. We think that the main thing is the service of God but not the happiness around it or celebrating the accomplishments.” We can connect this to Hanukkah, where the obligation is to say Hallel and thank Hashem, and to be happy. We have to appreciate what we are doing, we have to appreciate the smallest of things, and celebrate them. That will bring us to Ve’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/loving others like we love ourselves . If we are full of negativity, we can’t possibly love anybody else. It might seem counterintuitive, but by focusing on loving and being happy with myself, I can love others.
We have been talking about how a person can dislike someone because of that person surpassing him in religion. Rav Yehezkiel Levenstein points out that this is actually found in pesukim of the Torah. In Parashat Vayikrah (כו,יד) it talks about the sins that lead up to the Tochechah/the admonition, where God speaks of eventually destroying the Bet HaMikdash and sending the Jews into exile. It says, וְאִם־לֹא תִשְׁמְעוּ לִי ..you don’t listen to Me Rashi explains that this means not toiling in Torah Then it says, וְלֹא תַעֲשׂוּ You don’t do… Because if you don’t learn, you don’t do. Then it says, וְאִם־בְּחֻקֹּתַי תִּמְאָסוּ You will be disgusted by My statutes, Rashi explains that this means you will the hate the other people that are doing it. It then goes on to describe hating rabbis, preventing others from doing, denying that the Mitzvot are from God… and eventually, coming to deny God. It’s a seven-step downward process. Each one causes the other, says Rashi. And where did it all start? With not toiling in Torah. Rav Yehezkiel Levenstein explains that this means not fulfilling your own mission. Since you feel down that you aren’t doing what you’re supposed to be doing, you aren’t happy with yourself. And because you are not happy with yourself, your jealousy of the other person turns into hatred. You start to dislike the person because he is surpassing you. Instead of looking into and fixing yourself, you dislike him. Eventually, you dislike the rabbis that are guiding you, and it spirals downward to hating God. And it all came from being unhappy with yourself. This is a deep psychological concept. Rav Levenstein says that the first thing that you have to do is to be happy with yourself, physically and religiously. Of course, we have to get better, but we have to be happy with where we are at the moment. We have to uproot the negativity. He says, “The foundation of all bad Middot is a lack of inner satisfaction,” from not being happy with oneself. If you are happy with yourself, then everything turns around. This is what the avodah/work is. When we talk about Ahavat Yisrael/Loving your fellow Jew, we have to love ourselves first. Because if you don’t love yourself, and you aren’t happy with yourself, you can’t love anybody else.
Yesterday we spoke about the Bet Halevi pointing out the negative outcome of when someone has a personal agenda of competition, which can lead to disliking religion. When the Pele Yoetz talks about loving your friend, he takes a positive spin. He says that a person should be happy when he sees other people fulfilling God’s will, and he should feel bad when he sees people sinning. If he himself is lacking something or not doing well spiritually, he should not think that misery loves company , or hope that others are stuck behind with him, still eating in unkosher restaurants. He gives a beautiful mashal to illustrate: Imagine a king who asked each of his ten children to take turns caring for their mother, the queen. When one of the princes was away, he forgot it was his day and did not take care of his mother. But even though he did not do the job, he loves his mother and feels bad that he forgot about her. When he finds out that his brother took care of his mother that day, he is more than happy. If they were to tell him that no one remembered his mother and that she starved that day, he would burst out crying. The Pele Yoetz says that we have to look at religion as our mother. Of course we’d like to do it, but if we can’t, for whatever reason and we hear that somebody else is, we should say, “ Baruch HaShem! At least someone else is doing my job .” We should be thankful and happy, because we are all on one team, with one goal. So, in contrast to yesterday when we took the negative approach, today we look at the positive side: Let us be happy and joyous over our friends’ religious success. If your friend is more modest than you, Baruch Hashem! If your friend is more kosher than you, Baruch Hashem! If your friend has more stringencies on Shabbat, Baruch Hashem! While you wish that you could do it, be happy that somebody else is doing it. Furthermore, he says that a person should also be happy with his friend’s physical successes, because that will bring more to the religion. If there is more money out there, then there is more charity, more donations and more good deeds. You will benefit from it too, because God deals with the community or city based on the majority. Therefore, the more good deeds in the community, the more we each stand to gain, because we will have a more protected community. We should not feel bad when people are doing better than us, because ultimately, it is better for us. If I am a salesman in a company and my sales are not up, but the sales of the other men are, I might not be getting much commission, but the company is staying alive, so I’ll be getting my salary because of them. So Baruch Hashem that their sales are up, and I hope mine will improve as well. We have to look at ourselves as one big company, and know that we benefit from the success of everybody else.
We quote from the Bet HaLevi that says that when someone hates his friend, he actually wants him to fail and mess up. And not only does he want him to mess up in business or family life, but he wants him to mess up in religion too. If you don’t like somebody, you don’t want him to be successful in anything. He ends with the words, “You end up hating the service of God.” Because you dislike this guy, you don’t want him to be successful in his religion. Rabbenu Yona in Shaare Teshuva (3rd gate, letter 160) says, “It’s possible to have people who are under the category of Soneh Hashem/Haters of God. There are people who do mitzvot and are careful from all sins in action or speech, (it sounds like we are talking about a pretty good guy, who does all of the mitzvot) yet they are still considered haters of God. How so? He says that if it bothers or hurts you when you see someone surpass you in religion (we may not say it outright but we might feel it subconsciously), then you aren’t happy when the King gets honored, and that lies you someone who dislikes the King. If we see people that are better than us, and it triggers a negative feeling, it could be called negative against God. Rabbenu Yona says that sometimes it’s not just a thought, but that people take action, because they can’t tolerate that someone else is better than them. The Bet Halevi brings a pasuk from tehilim ( 38,21) יִשְׂטְנוּנִי תַּחַת רָדְפִי טוֹב They hate me, Rashi explains, because I am doing good. Because I am connecting to God. This is something that we must be aware of. It is possible that without realizing it, we can dislike people because they are better than us in religion. So we have to be happy when we see somebody having success, because ultimately, that means our religion is successful. The Sivteh Chaim, Rav Chaim Freedlander, brings down in his sefer that Rav Dessler told of a certain Rosh Yeshiva who went to visit another Rosh Yeshiva. The host excitedly showed his guest how all the students at his Yeshiva were learning late into the night. The guest Rosh Yeshiva, said, “Would you be as happy if you saw students learning like that in someone else’s Yeshiva?” So it’s possible that somebody is excited about learning Torah, but it’s really about his ego and his own personal success. We cannot allow our ego or our desire for success to interfere with our general love of God and love of religion. That is what the Bet HaLevi is telling us. It is possible that Sina/hate, which often comes from competition and ego, can actually cause us to end up indirectly having negative feelings towards religion, because we don’t want other people to be better than us. That feeling sometimes leads people to put down or or mock other people’s chumrot/stringencies. These are the negative things that come from Sina/hate, which is what we are working on.
We continue to study the Bet HaLevi on Ahavat Yisrael; he tells us- “ Hating your friend brings you to Lashon Hara, which is very severe; Because he hates his friend, he reveals and sees negativity.” You start to see the bad, because you don’t like the person. Rav Yerucham Levovitz, in his sefer Da’at Hochma Mussar says that it’s only possible to speak lashon hara because we are distanced from our friend. We don’t feel who he is; we don’t even know that he exists. How can we speak bad about a person? He says that If you thought for a moment about this man, and imagined that he was standing near you, screaming out and begging, “Please have mercy on me, don’t embarrass me, protect me,” you wouldn’t speak about him. The pasuk says, “ Don’t stand by as your brother’s blood is being spilled,” and right next to that it says, “ Don’t be a gossipmonger.” When you’re speaking lashon hara , you are spilling blood. Rav Yerucham wonders how a person can do that. He says that it is because you don’t see your friend because he is so distanced from you. Nobody would be able to speak lashon hara if they thought that the person could hear them and scream out, “ Please have mercy on me! ” But we don’t think about him. We don’t hear his voice, and therefore we do whatever we want. So, deep down, the source for all the lashon hara is that our friend is not on our minds. We don’t put ourselves in his situation, and we are distanced from him. Rav Wolbe writes that the word אכזר - achzar/cruel, can be broken down into two words אך זר Ach Zar - totally a stranger. You can only be cruel to a person when he is strange to you, when he is distanced from you. He says that when a tiger eats a deer, it doesn’t see the deer as a mother, friend or even as an existence. He sees the deer as his dinner. It’s the way we look at a hamburger. If you had a cow as a pet, you would not want to eat him for dinner. But we have no relation to the cow, and therefore we have no problem eating the steak, or the chicken, or whatever else we eat. We have no feelings for it and therefore we have no problem. (Vegetarians, on the other hand might have a problem) If we heard about somebody eating their dear dog, we would get sick. That is what we do when we speak lashon hara. We are eating our friend, swallowing him alive. We do this because we aren’t thinking about, or feeling a connection to him. That is the source of lashon hara. Have a wonderful day.
We continue with the concept that we mentioned yesterday, that the Torah definition of hate is not what we consider hate today- when one is fuming, and wants to kill the person. Hate means something less than love. The Or HaChaim Hakadosh, in Vayikrah ( perek 19,17) says that the Torah tells us the shiur/ amount of Sina/hate, because everything in the Torah has a measurement. For example, there’s a certain amount that you can’t eat unkosher- a kazayit. Everything in our Torah has measurements, and it is all taught to us by God. The Or HaChaim HaKadosh is telling us that Sina doesn’t mean that we wish bad for a person, or want him destroyed.. because we might reason that if we do wish him all the best, then that means we don’t hate him. And we might think that if, in our hearts, we are a little distanced from a person, that it is not called hatred. Therefore the Torah says, “Do not hate your brother.” Why is it that it will comes to Ve’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/ loving your friend like you love yourself, it talks about a friend, but when it comes to hatred it switches to a brother? The Or HaChaim HaKadosh answers that the amount of Sinah that Hashem wants us to stay away from is anything less than the feelings of a brother. If you have dropped from the level of brother, that is a ready hating. You have to feel like the person is your brother, that you have a positive connection with him, that you came out of the same womb, that you have the same parents. That brotherly love is what is necessary in order to be considered “Ahava/love” and that is why in Tehilim, it says, הִנֵּה מַה־טּוֹב וּמַה־נָּעִים שֶׁבֶת אַחִים גַּם־יָחַד׃ How nice, how sweet, two brothers dwelling together. This refers to Moshe and Aharon. When Moshe got his position, Aharon was so happy for him. He didn’t feel bad at all. In fact, it was the opposite. When Moshe was supposed to be the Kohen and then he lost it, and then put the oil on Aharon HaKohen, he felt like the oil was going down his head. That is why it says, in the next pasuk, כַּשֶּׁמֶן הַטּוֹב ׀ עַל־הָרֹאשׁ יֹרֵד עַל־הַזָּקָן זְקַן־אַהֲרֹן Like the oil going down the beard, the beard of Aharon. Why does it say beard twice? Because while Moshe was putting the oil on Aharon HaKohen’s head, he felt like it was coming down his beard, even though it was the beard of Aharon. That is the level of brotherhood, and that is what we are looking for. Anything less than brotherhood, says the Or HaChaim, is already considered hatred. When we consider the levels that the Torah is requiring from us, we see why it is such hard work. Have a wonderful day.
We continue with the Bet HaLevi, who quotes a Gemara in Masechet Makot to bring out his point. The Gemara says, “A Soneh/ Someone who hates his friend and kills him by mistake doesn’t go to exile.” A person goes to exile if he kills someone by mistake, but if he hates the person, then there is a suspicion that it wasn’t really a mistake, so he he doesn’t get that reprieve of exile. What is the definition of a Soneh ? The Gemara, in Mesechet Sanhedrin 27b, says it is someone who hasn’t spoke to his friend in three days, out of anger or hate (not because he hasn’t seen him for three days). If a person is in the same office, synagogue, or town as someone, and he isn’t on speaking terms with that person, he is considered someone who hates, and as such, there are certain laws that apply. For example, he can’t be a judge in that person’s case. The Chafetz Chaim says in his sefer Ahavat Yisrael (chapter 2) that this is very common. People get into small arguments and they aren’t on speaking terms. They don’t really outright hate eachother. They aren’t punching each other, they just avoid each other; they would rather not meet. They don’t see eye to eye. They aren’t on the same terms. But this is called a Soneh . A person who isn’t in speaking terms, he says, is transgressing the negative commandment of, “ Don’t hate your brother, in your heart.” Every second. Therefore, he says, we have to pay attention to this. For some small, little squabble, you will be stumbling on this very severe, extremely scary sin. It’s important to point this out. There are often scenarios with former business partners, or even old teachers, or principals that a parent disagreed with… and when they see this person, they cross to the other side of the street, because they’d rather not talk to them. Even if you aren’t hurting him, or speaking lashon hara about him, and you just don’t want to have anything to do with him, that’s called a Soneh , and that is not acceptable in our religion. Therefore, this is something to pay attention to. Have a wonderful day.
Maran, in Shulchan Aruch Yoreh De’ah, chapter 247 tells us, “ Whoever has mercy on the poor, God has mercy on them. A person should realize that he is constantly asking God for parnasa. And just like he’s asking God to listen to him and his cries, so too, he should listen to the cries of the poor. ” This is a famous concept-The way you act is the way God acts with you. The Sefer Reshit Hochma (in the chapter on humility) quotes the Geonim (who came before the Rishonim like Rashi, Tosafot and Rambam) that the Gemara in Masechet Rosh Hashana tells us that God taught Moshe Rabbenu how to say the 13 Attributes of Mercy. (Rav Yochanan says that if the pasuk didn’t tell us, we couldn’t even say these words) Hashem, so to say, wrapped Himself in a talit like a hazan , and showed Moshe Rabbenu how to say the 13 Attributes, and He told him, “ As long as the Jewish people act with this approach in front of Me, I will forgive and answer them.” The Geonim point out that they see people that have said the 13 Attributes and aren’t answered. But they answer that we must look carefully at the words of Hashem. It’s not enough to just say the words… you have act or do. To “do in front of Me,” doesn’t just mean to wrap yourself in a talit . It means a person has to act like Hashem. If God is El Rachum V’Hanun, God of mercy and compassion, we also have to be merciful and compassionate. As it says, “ The way God is, is the way you have to be,” in all 13 Middot as well. So when you act with those 13 attributes, God will act to you with those 13 attributes. The Maggid of Dubno, in his sefer Mishleh Yaakov, on Parashat Emor, adds some depth to this with a mashal : There was a poor man who went around collecting. His parents had been great people, that people knew, so in the merit of his parents, he was given nice donations. But then, due to his difficult situation, he looked so bad and pale, that when he knocked on doors, the people no longer recognize him. He then cried out, because no one had mercy on him. He says that the nimshal is that as long as we have mercy, As it says in Gemarah in Masechet Yevamot (79,a) “ If you have mercy on people you are from the seed of Abraham Avinu ,” you’re acting like Abraham, who was a man of kindness. So if we don’t act with kindness, God says, I don’t recognize you. And then he can’t arouse the merit of our forefathers, because He doesn’t recognize us, because we aren’t acting like Abraham, Yitzhak and Yaakov. So in order for us to arouse mercy in others, we ourselves have to act that way. That is another reason for Ahavat Yisrael. ,
We continue to stud the pasuk quoted by the Bet HaLevi, which is that when there is machloket , when their hearts are separated, they will be found guilty. The Reshit Hochma, Shaar Anava ( perek 4) quotes the following: “ A household that has argument, in the end it will be destroyed; A shul that has Machloket, in the end it will be destroyed, and some say it will be dispersed.” Those are very heavy words. Machloket causes destruction and dispersion. If we believe the words of our rabbis, we will take heed to stay away from Machloket/ arguments , realizing that divisiveness doesn’t pay. Rav Chaim Pilaggi, Chief Rabbi of Turkey, from 200 years ago, in his sefer Kaf HaHaim, writes in the first chapter, “ In a place of arguments, the blessings leave.” Nobody wants Berachot to leave. Furthermore, he says, “ I will share with you my personal experience: From when I was young, before I had any understanding of anything, I saw with my own eyes that of every person and person, family and family country and country, city and city that had an argument, none walked away clean from damages and bruises, whether on the body, or in their finances, may God protect us.” This is some thing to keep in mind, the dangers of Machloket . Whenever you find yourself in a situation where it seems like it might be worth the argument, consider this. It is not always worth the argument. Be sure to seek advice, and speak to great people before getting into a situation of argument, because you are literally playing with fire. Machloket is playing with fire. So extremely careful and use the proper equipment and advice when dealing with such dangerous matters. That is our message for today.
Today’s class is dedicated Le’ilui Nishmat Yitzhak ben Chana, Mr. Irving Missry a’h, by his family, on his 22nd yarzheit. When Yaakov Avinu gave the final blessing to his children, he called them in and said, “ Gather and I will tell you what will happen to you in the future.” And then again, he said “ Gather and listen, sons of Yaakov…” What is this back-and-forth? Rashi tells us that the midrash says that Yaakov Avinu saw that among the letters of the Shevatim , there was no ח Chet or ט Tet. And he wanted to tell them what the future would be, but he saw that they did not have a ק kuf or צ sadi , which spells ketz/ end, in their names either . What does this mean? The letters chet and tet spell the word Chet , which means, “ sin .” So that was good, right? But why didn’t they have the letters that spell “ Ketz / end ?” The Chatam Sofer says something fascinating about this pasuk. As we have mentioned in the past, the sin of Sinat hinam/baseless hatred is worse than the three cardinal sins, because the sin of Sinat Hinam was, in the words of the Gemara,“ not revealed.” And because the sin was not revealed, the end was not revealed. The first Bet HaMikdash was destroyed for sins that there were in the open, so the end was revealed as well. It was a 70 year sentence. But the second Bet HaMikdash was destroyed due to sins of the heart, Sinat hinam, which was under cover, so the end was not revealed. That is why we are still in exile. The fact that the letters for Chet/ sin were not there was a problem. The sin could not be seen, and therefore, the ketz , the ending could not be seen either. That is why Yaakov Avinu told them to gather twice- because if you gather and there is no Sinat hinam , then things can be worked out in the end, and Yaakov would be able to tell them what would happen.. if they did Teshuva , everything would work out. But when we are separated, there is no way the geula / redemption can come. As we have said, even Teshuva doesn’t work in a generation where there is Sinat hinam. We have to constantly work on this concept, because the Second Bet HaMikdash was destroyed due to Sinat Hinam, and the third will only be rebuilt when we fix the sin of Sinat hinam. So that is our job- to bring the chet of Sinat hinam above the surface, to be aware of it, because that is the first step. It’s a silent killer, if you aren’t aware of it. The more aware we become of Sinat hinam, the closer we are to fixing it, and the more the Ketz- the end of time , will be revealed as well.
The sefer Nachalat Yaakov comments on the famous Midrash that when Yaakov Avinu had the dream about the ladder, “ He took from the rocks of the place,” and it ended up as one big rock. Most people have heard that the rocks were arguing with each other, because each one said, עלי יניח הצדיק את ראשו the Sadik’s head should rest on me, and they became one rock. The Midrash adds that Yaakov Avinu said that Avraham had negativity come from him- he had Yishmael, and Yitzhak had negativity as well, he had Essav. But when the rocks came together, Yaakov knew that no negativity would come out from him. What does that mean? He explains that Yaakov Avinu understood prophetically that there would be two divisions in the Jewish people- Yehuda and Yosef. And in time, the two tribes would split into two groups in Yisrael. Yaakov Avinu was afraid that eventually, they’d be lost, because when there is Machloket / arguments the Jewish people can’t last. So Yaakov Avinu wanted to see if the rocks would come together, and if they would ultimately unite. And when he saw that, he knew he’d have the Jewish people. He adds that עלי יניח הצדיק את ראשו Upon me the Sadik should rest his head i ndicates that ultimately, the Jewish people’s arguments were L’Shem Shamayim. Each group wants Hashem to be with them. And that is what a lot of our fighting is- it’s religious fighting; but in the end, we will all unite. The Shulchan Aruch brings down an interesting custom that people put a rock beneath their heads on Tisha b’Av. This is sourced from the Rishonim that say that Yaakov Avinu was at the Bet HaMikdash the night of his dream, and he saw that the divisiveness of the Jewish people caused the churban/destruction and therefore, he put a rock under his head. In order to commemorate that act of Yaakov Avinu placing a rock under his head, we do the same (or as some do, sleep without a pillow) on the night of Tisha BAv. The point is to realize that what brings the destruction is a lack of unity, and what will rebuild the Bet HaMikdash is when we all get together as one rock, and we say together, with one voice, עלי יניח הצדיק את ראשו that we want Hashem, so to say, to put His head on all of us. Have a wonderful day.
We have been speaking about the pasuk where Hoshea says that when the Jewish people divide, that’s when they become guilty. The pasuk says, חלק לבם עתה יאשמו Their hearts are divided, now they are going to be found guilty. There is a beautiful Seforno that talks about when the Nesi’im donated toward the Mishkan It says, ספר במדבר פרק ז -((ג) וַיָּבִיאוּ אֶת קָרְבָּנָם לִפְנֵי יְהֹוָה שֵׁשׁ עֶגְלֹת צָב וּשְׁנֵי עָשָׂר בָּקָר עֲגָלָה עַל שְׁנֵי הַנְּשִׂאִים וְשׁוֹר לְאֶחָד וַיַּקְרִיבוּ אוֹתָם לִפְנֵי הַמִּשְׁכָּן They offered six caravans, and twelve cattle to lead the caravans. Why these specific amounts? What not twelve caravans and twelve cattle? The Seforno says, לאות אחוה ביניהם אשר בה יהיו ראויים שתשרה שכינה ביניהם, כאמרו ויהי בישורון מלך בהתאסף ראשי עם יחד על It was a sign of their brotherhood. Through that, they would be fit to have the Shechina dwell amongst them. Like the pasuk says, God is King, when the leaders gather. In other words, when the leaders gather, that’s when God dwells as a King of the Jewish people. היפך חלק לבם, עתה יאשמו And the opposite of the pasuk- when they are divided, they become guilty. The Seforno is telling us that when two people join together on a project, they are united in their donation. That is a sign of unity. But sometimes people want the sponsorship for themselves. They want the honor etc. Here, however, the two tribes say, “We are in it together. We will each take half.” That is what Hashem likes. He likes when people partner up to do good things. In his commentary on Hoshea, the Chida says something very powerful on this pasuk חלק לבם עתה יאשמו Their hearts are divided, now they are going to be found guilty. שעיקר הכל הוא אחדות אם יש לאדם תורה ומצות ויש לו שנאה עם חבירו לא עשה כלום דעיקר התורה הוא השלום The foundation of everything is unity. If a man has Torah and Mitzvot, and he has hatred for his friend, he has done nothing. The main point is Torah is peace. These are powerful, powerful words. We have to keep saying these things, became as much as it seems like common sense, and as much as we think we understand it, that is how much it is forgotten. The Mesilat Yesharim says that some of the most fundamental, simple points are just simply forgotten. BeEzrat Hashem, we will keep at it, and have these important fundamentals on our minds all the time.
We continue with the words of the Bet HaLevi, who proceeds with explaining the severity of Sinat Hinam/Baseless Hatred . He quotes a pasuk in Hoshea , “ Their hearts have been separate, now they will be found guilty.” Rashi says, the greatest peace is that even if the Jewish people worshipped idols, if they have peace amongst them, the Satan does not prosecute. Argument and divisiveness is hated, and he quotes our pasuk. This is a little difficult to understand. Is God really not going to punish idol worshippers? Rabbenu Bachye adds a few words to what Hashem is saying, “..I will have patience with them, I will give them a chance.” The Shelah HaKadosh, in chapter 26, gives the same message but asks about the wording- why does it say Now they will be found guilty? Why now ? He answers based on a Midrash that says that when Moshe Rabbenu told Hashem not to accept their korban after Korach’s arguments, he added not to accept their teshuva . So the Shelah HaKadosh explains that God doesn’t accept teshuva from someone who is involved in machloket/ arguments. Therefore, when someone gets along with people and is not argumentative, it doesn’t mean that his sins are forgiven. Rather, it means that he still has the path of teshuva open, and God will have patience with him. But when a person is argumentative and divisive, his teshuva is not accepted. The word Now refers to the teshuva , which means they lose their ability to do teshuva . The Seder Sisfe Sadik, on Parashat Korach, explains that the whole teshuva process works through being part of the Jewish people. If a person is an individual, there is no path for him to do teshuva . That’s why the divisive person is in trouble. It’s not necessarily the divisiveness that brings him down, but rather, his inability to return from his other sins. On the other hand, God has a lot of patience for the person who is not divisive, although he has sins. Hashem waits for those people to turn around. This is another facet of Sinat Hinam - a person who is a baal machloket/-an argumentative person has difficulty with his teshuva working.
We continue with the words of the Bet HaLevi, in his MaAmar Ahavat Yisrael: דִּכְמוֹ דְּאַהֲבָה הָוֵי כְּלַל כָּל הַתּוֹרָה כְּמוֹ כֵן גַּם הַשִּׂנְאָה הוּא מָבוֹא וְשַׁעַר לְכָל הָעֲבֵרוֹת הַחֲמוּרוֹת שֶׁבַּתּוֹרָה Just like loving your friend is the klal of the whole Torah ( as it says V’Ahavta L’Re’echa Kamocha, ze Klal Gadol b’Torah - if you wanted to teach a convert the whole Torah on one foot it would be Love your friend like you love yourself ) , so too is the opposite/ Sina, hating your friend is the path and the gate to all the very severe sins in the Torah. In other words, everything has a flip side. The is a Klal Gadol for the good and a Klal Gadol for the bad. If you had to take all the sins of the Torah and teach them on one foot, it would be that hating will bring one to all sins. In his sefer Ahavat Yisrael (chapter 2), the Chafetz Chaim says that the reason Sinat Hinam/ baseless hatred is so stringent is because it’s the cause for so many other sins. It causes machloket/arguments, lashon hara, gossip, teasing, embarrassment, slander and even murder. He quotes the Sifri that says that the rule that one sin causes another, and cites a pasuk in Devarim which introduces murder with hate, where the Midrash explains that the murder doesn’t just happen by itself though natural events. Rather, the sin of hate creates a tumah , a negative energy, or a contamination, due to that sin, and that, in turn, causes the next sin. It’s not just on a natural level, but on a super natural level. We saw this with Kayin and Hevel. It started with hatred and it came to murder. The final words here by the Chafetz Chaim are: This is the rule- All the difficulties that we are going through in the world, their beginning and their root, is Sinat Hinam. It might not be It , but it caused every thing. It’s the underlying cause, which is why it’s so severe.
We continue with the words of the Avot D’Rabi Natan, which the Bet HaLevi quotes, about why the words Ani Hashem follow Ve’Ahavta L’Re’echa Kamocha/ Love your friend like you love yourself. He explains that the term Ani Hashem/I Am God is used to signify that Hashem will reward and punish. The Midrash says Hashem is saying , “ If you love him ( your friend ), I am loyal to reward and if not, I am a judge to pay.” We see this concept when Hashem first speaks to Moshe Rabbenu. In Shemot ( perek ו , pasuk ב ) it says “ Vayomer Elav, Ani Hashem/ God said to him, I am Hashem.” Rashi says that it means, “ I am loyal to pay reward to those that go in front of Me.” In other words, Ani Hashem means, “ I will pay.” The Ravad further explains that the term Ani Hashem is used when referring to something in the heart, something only Hashem know about, (and something He will reward or punish.) So Hashem adds these two words, Ani Hashem, so that we shouldn’t think that Ve’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha is just an internal fleeting thought. On the contrary, Hashem is aware of it, and He rewards and punishes for every thought. As we said at the start of this series, there is a great degree of potential for either positivity or severity with this Mitzvah. A person can consistently repeat this sin, or conversely, he can consistently perform this Mitzvah. There is no end to how often it happens, because you don’t need any materials for it, and it doesn’t need to be at a specific time of day. It happens within your heart, at all times, and Hashem is watching and rewarding accordingly. Our final explanation for why it says Ani Hashem is from the Sefer Mesudat David ( Mitzvah י״ג ), by the Ridvaz. He quotes the pasuk, “ Don’t forsake your friend, or the friend of your father.” Who is this friend of your father ? Hashem. He has been a ‘ friend of the family’ going all the way back to Abraham Yitzhak and Yaakov. So, “ If you love your friends down here, it’s like you love God,” and the opposite. Ve’Ahavta L’Re’echa Kamocha Ani Hashem means, “ Love your friend, and by loving your friend it means loving Me as well.” Have a wonderful day.
We continue in our study of Ahavat Yisrael/Loving your fellow Jew with the Avot D’Rebi Natan that explains the verse, Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha Ani Hashem /Love your friend like you love yourself, I am Hashem. It says I am Hashem because Hashem created that person. The Bet HaLevi adds that this explains the strictness of the sin. If Hashem created him, that means Hashem loves him. He’s Hashem’s child. So how can a person have the audacity to hate the son, the beloved one, of God Himself? It’s like hating God Himself. He quotes a Gemara in Maesechet Sanhedrin ( נח , ב ) that says that someone who slaps a Jewish person across the face, it’s as if he’s giving God Himself a slap . The Maharsha explains that Adam HaRishon was made in the image of God, and Yaakov Avinu ended up in the image of Adam HaRishon; he perfected himself to the extent that he is the picture of man on the Kiseh HaKavod. Therefore, when someone slaps a Jewish person, he is slapping a picture of the Shechina . There is a halacha that says that a person that kills or is Mehallel Shabbat is deserving of the death penalty, and is hung up, but one is not allowed to leave the body hanging overnight. He is hung up on a pole only moments before sunset, he stays up a minute and then they take him down. Rashi gives a mashal to explain why they can’t leave the body hanging: There were twin brothers, one was a king and the other was a thief. The thief got caught, but to leave him out in public would be a disgrace to his brother, the king. So too, when a person sins and is hanging on a pole, it’s a disgrace to God, because that person was created in God’s image. We have to think about that whenever we look at any person. One of Rabbi Miller’s secrets to greatness is that when you look at a Jewish face, you should think, ‘ This person was created in the image of God; I have to to love; God loves him. ’ And if I hate him, I am really hating God. That’s a very heavy concept. It says Love your friend like you love yourself, Ani Hashem/I am Hashem - I created him, I love him, because that is part of the equation. Hashem is saying , I created him, so how dare you hate someone that I love?
AY76 God doesn’t make junk We continue with the Bet Halevi, who quotes from Avot D’Rebi Natan (chapter 12) where it says that Shimon Ben Elazar said, This statement was said with a great swear, (Others explain it as “ At a great moment God said this) V’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha Ani Hashem / Love your friend like you love yourself because I am God. Avot D’Rabi Natan gives two explanations for why it says, “ because I am God,” but we will focus on his first point, which is that it says “ I am God” because God created him. In other words, you should Love your friend like you love yourself because I created him. It says in a famous Gemarah in Masechet Taanit (page 20a) that Rabi Eliezer b’Ribi Shimon was once traveling. He was in a very good mood, overly happy, when he saw a very ugly man. (“ Very ugly’ ” simply means that the man had a very ugly face. But the Ben Ish Chai says that it means he was a great sinner.) The ugly man said hello to the Rabbi, but the Rabbi didn’t respond. Rabbi Eliezer felt that the man has been improper in his informal way of greeting, and he responded, “ How ugly is that man. Are all the people ugly like you?” (Of course, this is not how the rabbi should have acted but we won’t get into why he spoke this way.) The man responded, “ I don’t know, but tell the craftsman who made me how ugly I am .“ In other words, “ You may think I’m ugly but it was God that made me.” At this point, the rabbi realized that he had made a mistake, and he got off of his donkey and begged for mechila/forgiveness . But the man refused to forgive the rabbi unless he went back to the “ craftsman who made him ,” to tell him how ugly he was. The man then followed him until the city, and when everybody came out to greet the rabbi with great honor, the man commented, “ This is the Rabbi?” Finally, the man forgave him, on the condition that he would never do that again. Rashi explains that this was Eliyahu HaNavi, and the purpose of the story was to test the rabbi and teach us all the lesson that God created him, and, as I once saw in a poster, “ I know I am somebody because God doesn’t make no junk.” Meaning that if Hashem made him, then he’s not junk, even if he doesn’t look like you, or seems to be on a lowly level. Of course, everyone is responsible for their actions, but the point is that even people with weak Middot , (in areas that they aren’t responsible for as in, My creator created me this way) were created by God. So regardless of how a person looks or acts within his abilities, we still have to love him.
After 120 years, a person is asked six questions. One of the questions is Sipita L’Yeshua Did you look forward to God’s salvation/Did you look forward to the coming of Mashiach ? The Chida has an interesting hiddush about this question. He says that the requirement of looking forward to the salvation requires us to arouse ourselves to remove Sinat Hinam/Baseless hatred from our hearts. The reason for this is that the Bet HaMikdash cannot be rebuilt until we fix the cause of the destruction, which was Sinat Hinam. Therefore, if you are looking forward to God’s salvation, you are forced to fix yourself, because how could a person look forward to the rebuilding of the Bet HaMikdash if he himself is the cause of its destruction ( for, as it says, in every generation that the Bet HaMikdash is not rebuilt, it is if it has been destroyed)? It’s like saying you’re looking forward to winning the game and then purposely dropping the ball. You can’t be looking forward to something if you yourself are involved in the opposite. Therefore, he says, a person has to work on the mitzvah of Ahavat Yisrael, not just because it is a Mitzvah , but because it is included in this question of Sipita LYeshua/did you look forward to God’s salvation? The Chafetz Chaim says the same thing. We are constantly praying for the building of the Bet HaMikdash, but how can we be praying for it at the same time that we are causing it not to be built? He brings up this concept in another area as well, where he talks about a person learning. We pray every day that it should be put into our hearts, the ability to listen, to learn, to understand, etc. with many requests that we want to learn. He gives a mashal of a man that came to a wealthy man and asked to borrow money. “Please, I am desperate,” he says. The wealthy man agrees, and tells him to come to his office tomorrow at 2 o’clock. 2 o’clock comes, but the man does not show up. The next day in shul, the man begs the wealthy man again, to borrow money, and again the wealthy man tells him to show up the next day at 2 PM. But again, the man does not show up. This goes on day after day. Eventually, the wealthy man loses his patience and tells the man that he is trying to help, and all the man has to do is show up. The Chafetz Chaim says it is the same thing with us. We ask Hashem, we plead with Hashem, to give us the ability to learn. And Hashem says, “Okay, come to the Bet Midrash to learn, and I will give it to you,” but we don’t show up. Similarly, a person prays to Hashem to rebuild the Bet HaMikdash, but then he goes with an ax and knocks it down, again and again, day after day. We can’t ask for things and then not do our part in the equation. That is what the Chida and the Chafetz Chaim are telling us about Sinat Hinam, and therefore, we are working on it.
In the previous lesson, we mentioned the concept of CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, and how by changing a thought one can change his behaviors, feelings and emotions, because they are all interrelated. We can use this technique to fix our Middot. As was mentioned, Rav Wolbe pre-dated this psychological concept, bringing down from the Rambam that when one changes his mindset, he changed his Middot. There is a famous Ibn Ezra (Shemot 20,14)on Lo Tachmod / Thou shalt not covet, which is last of the Ten Commandments, that discusses this concept. The Ibn Ezra says that many people are amazed at this mitzvah. How can you tell somebody not to want something that looks good? To explain, he uses the mashal of a simple villager who sees a princess. He doesn’t even think of marrying her, because he knows that it would be impossible. Similarly, one is not jealous of a bird because it can fly. The Ibn Ezra states that anyone that has any intellect does not get jealous of that something that is beyond him. When the Ibn Ezra says, “ anyone with intellect ,” he’s telling us to play with our brains, in order to affect our emotions. If you have the intellectual capacity to understand that someone has a beautiful, house, car, etc., because God gave it to him, then you can understand that that object is more removed from you than the princess, or the bird’s wings. Therefore, you will not have any desire for that object, because you realize that God did not want to give it to you, and thus you will not get it with your strengths, tactics or planning. Rather, when you rely on Hashem, He will give you what you need. This, says the Ibn Ezra, is a change in feelings and behavior based on thoughts and cognition. Furthermore, the Rishonim say that Sinat Hinam/Baseless Hatred stems from jealousy. A mnemonic device to illustrate this point is the word קש -Kash/Straw, which burns and has no use. It stands for Kina, jealousy, and Sina/hatred People hate others because they are jealous of them. They dislike people because they have more, or because they are better, more popular, stronger smarter, richer etc. But a person should realize that just like he’s not jealous of the fish that swim in the ocean, none of those things were meant for him, because they aren’t in his realm. The Ibn Ezra is teaching us that the ability to change our behaviors and feelings is based on our cognition, and that is the secret of how to overcome Sinat hinam. It all starts with Emuna and Bitachon, and that is why these topics are extremely interconnected.
We continue with the negativity of Sinat Hinam/Baseless Hatred and why it’s worse than the three cardinal sins. The Chafetz Chaim, in his sefer Ahavat Yisrael ( chapter 2), says that it’s rare to have sin that a person transgresses consistently. If a person eats a ham sandwich, he’s not getting a constant intravenous ham drip. He may eat it from time to time. But the person that does the sin of Sinat Hinam is doing it constantly. Hatred is aroused in his heart every second. Sometimes his hatred can last a month, a year, or longer. It’s like an old pinball machine with a ball that bounces back-and-forth. It hits one thing and suddenly, boom- 10,000 points. Sina is one of those things that just racks up negative points. He says that a disease is easier to get out if it hasn’t been in the body that long, There is more hope. But if it is there for a very long time, it is harder to get out. So too with the soul- if the sin is there for a long time, and it is deeply entrenched, it’s very, very hard to get it out. Rav Yehezkiel Levenstein, in his volume on Emunah, explains that most sins are one time events, they are just details, so it’s easy to do Teshuva for them. But Sinat Hinam comes from from Middot Raot / Bad character traits. These become the nature of a person. Wearing shaatnez is not a person’s nature. It’s a detail. But a bad middah like Sina reflects your whole outlook on life. It becomes your essence, and to undo an essence is extremely difficult. That’s why this is the kind of sin becomes entrenched. It becomes the person’s being. It’s not just an action, it’s a feeling and emotion. It’s a thought. It’s very hard to change that. But, B’ezrat Hashem, tomorrow, we will try to get some hope for how to change it. Have a wonderful day.
We continue to discuss the magnitude of the sin of Sinat Hinam /baseless hatred. As we have mentioned, the Bet HaLevi says that the sin of Sinat Hinam is so terrible that it brought the destruction of the Bet HaMikdash . Rav Yehezkiel Levenstein, in his section on Yirah and Mussar, says that if a person has Sinat Hinam, “ He has no connection, no dealing with God.” He says that people walk around thinking that they are generally good. They may have some issues, they might fight with their neighbor or this one and that one, but they think that they are basically good people. They think that they have a nice relationship with God. That is a mistake. Rav Yehezkiel bases this on the fact that the Bet HaMikdash was destroyed. The Bet Hamikdash was God’s connection to the Jewish people, so if Sinat Hinam destroyed the Bet HaMikdash, that means it destroyed God’s connection with the Jewish people. Sinat hinam caused God to leave us. This works the same way with the individual. When an individual has Sina , he has no connection to God. That is a very powerful statement. We all want to have a connection to God. And we all somehow think that we’re ok. Rav Yerucham Levovitz explains that we have to give up our lives for the three cardinal sins of Avoda Zara , adultery and murder, because God can’t exist with them. Therefore, it’s better to die than to commit these sins. Why can’t God exist with these sins? Because they are all the ultimate of hate. Murder is the ultimate of hate, adultery, destroying a marriage is ultimate hate, and avoda zara , worshiping another deity, is also the ultimate in hate. What is it that God can’t live with? He can’t live with the ultimate hate of these sins, whereas with a regular sin, God can still exist. Shaatnez is bad, but there’s still room for love. Sinat Hinam weighs in like all three of these sins, because it is Hate . As we said previously, hate is the antithesis of Hashem. That’s why they can’t survive together. We must understand how detrimental this sin is, so that we will be more careful to stay away from it. People like smoking, but look how bad it is. I like salt, but look what it does to my blood pressure. I like sugar, but look what it does to diabetes etc etc. Once we realize how bad Sinat Hinam is, that it cuts off our connection to God, we will start working on fixing it. Have a wonderful day.
We continue discussing the negativity of Sinat Hinam/Baseless Hatred. As we mentioned, when a person knows how dangerous something is, they put forth more effort to stay away from it. The Reshit Hochma (a sefer written by one of the great Kabbalists from the time of the Arizal) writes in Shaar Hanava ( perek ד ), Most of the sufferings that come upon a person are from the sin of Sinat Hinam. That is a heavy statement. Based on this concept, the Chafetz Chaim, in his sefer Ahavat Yisrael, quotes the Gemara in Masechet Shabbat ( daf לב ) which lists all kinds of horrible things that happen because of this sin. He says that if someone were to hurt your child, has v’shalom, you’d go after the guy. But what happens when a person hurts his own child? That’s domestic violence, which is even worse. He says that when a person is involved in Sinat hinam, he doesn’t realize that that is what he is doing. The Gemara and sefarim tell us that all the horrible diseases come because of the sin of Sinat hinam . That means that the person himself, Lo Alenu, might be causing these horrible things. How can he not be upset at himself? Therefore , he says, a person has to stay far, far away from anything that has to do with Sinat hinam, and then you’ll have it good in this world, and in the next world. Furthermore, the Derashot Haran tells us that Sinat Hinam is worse than the three cardinal sins, because with the three cardinal sins, people aren’t usually repeat offenders. Most people aren’t serial killers. If it happens, it’s usually in a fit of rage or passion. But he says that Sinat hinam isn’t an aberration or exception. It usually happens on a consistent basis. People may not even feel when they’re doing it. Thus, a person is far away from Teshuva , because he is so consistent in this sin, and therefore, it’s extremely hard to fix. So we have yet another reason to avoid Sinat Hinam- because it is the cause of suffering, and if we keep on repeating it, it just gets worse. We should all take heed and stay away from Sinat hinam , which is what we are doing when we work on our Ahavat Yisrael.
We continue discussing the negativity of Sinat Hinam/Baseless Hatred. Rav Yehezkiel Levenstein, in his sefer on Torah VDaat says, “ Hatred is the opposite of God’s entire will in creation. God created the world Tov Umetiv/ to be Good and to give good to others. The whole creation is founded on hesed , as it says, Olam Hesed Y’Baneh God created the world Boreh Nefeshot Rabot God created many creatures V’Hesronam and their lackings Why did He create lackings ? In order to fulfill their lackings Sinat Hinam is the total antithesis of God’s Middot , which are kindness, compassion and mercy. When a person has Sinat hinam, he is very far from the p ositive Mitzvah of Ubo Tidbak /Connect to Him. The Sifri says that this Mitzvah is to connect to God’s Middot. “Just as God is merciful, you be merciful , Just as God is compassionate, you be compassionate.” Conversely, if you are far from connecting to God, you have no connection to God, and you are not fulfilling God’s will in creation. That is why Sinat Hinam is worse than the most serious of sins. Sinat hinam is the total opposite of what God created the world for. A person hs to realize that his whole reason for being is to try to emulate God, to try to be like God. But when a person has Sina , that is the antithesis of being like God. To end on a positive note, we’ll share beautiful story about Rav Yehezkiel Abramsky, a great Gadol , that shows what it means to be like God . Rav Abramsky was once on his way to Bet Midrash and he saw a child crying. He stopped to ask why, and the boy told the Rabbi that it was because his friends had teased him that his pants were too short. Rab Abramsky took off his glasses, leaned in closer to look at the boy’s pants, and replied that his pants were not too short. They were beautiful. He then spoke to the boy for a few minutes and calmed him down, until the boy’s tears dried. Later that day, the boy excitedly told his father that he had spoken with Rav Abramsky. When the father saw Rav Abramsky in shul, he asked if indeed the Rav had spoken to son, and about what. Rav Abramsky said he spoke to the boy about his pants, and explained that it says about God, In the future He will erase tears from all faces. “ So that’s the way of God,” he told the father, “ and I want to be like God, therefore, I came to erase the tears from your son’s face. ” That is what it means to be like God, and when you are like God, you connect to God Sinat Hinam is the total opposite. Therefore, we want to stay far away from it.
We have been talking about the dangers of machloket and argument. Sometimes people try and look for an out or excuse, citing the concept of L’shem Shamayim - the concept that the argument is for the sake of God. They claim that the man they are fighting with is not good, that he’s spreading improper ideas etc… and for whatever reason, they think that they have a right to go after this person. There are times when that is true. But how does one know if he’s really L’Shem Shamayim or not? There’s a very important rule- The sifrei Mussar say that if someone does something with tremendous exuberance, more so than how he does a regular Mitzvah, you have to question it. For example, when a man doesn’t stay up past 11pm on a regular night (even when putting up his Succah, he still keeps his 11:00 bed time) and yet somehow when he deals with a machloket he’s up until 1am, then we have to start questioning- Why is there so much excitement and exuberance coming from this machloket ? If it’s coming from a Mitzvah, then why isn’t it like all his other Mitzvot? Why is he putting more effort forth here? We have to question ourselves to understand what is really driving us. This is an important point. Our good inclination does not drive us as much as our bad inclination. That is just the way it works. There’s a legendary story told over about Rav Chaim Volozhin, who started the Yeshiva in Volozhin, which is known as the mother of all yeshivot. All yeshivot until today are fashioned after it. His rabbi was the Gaon of Vilna, whom he went to, to ask whether or not he should go forth with his idea of opening a Yeshiva. He explained his plans of a morning, afternoon and night seder, all the areas of study etc… But the Gaon of Vilna told him he didn’t think it was a good idea. Then, a year later, he went to his rabbi again, to ask about starting the yeshiva. This time, the Gaon of Vilna asked him a few questions, and told him he liked the idea. Rav Chaim asked what had changed- the previous year he didn’t like the idea, and now he did. The Gaon of Vilna answered that the previous year, Rav Chaim had been full of excitement and exuberance, and he was concerned that maybe it wasn’t coming from the right place. He had felt that Rav Chaim was too excited for it to be L’Shem Shamayim. But when he came back the second time, he was a little bit more levelheaded, so the Gaon of Vilna was able to see that it was coming from the right place. This is an unbelievable concept. We have to question ourselves even on something good . This was about something that was not a machloket it was about opening a yeshiva- And still you have to question where it’s coming from. So surely, regarding a machloket , it is very, very hard to see that it’s coming L’Shem Shamayim. The Sefer Noda B’Yehuda, (in his section on Yoreh De’ah chapter 1) says, “ There is no greater Mitzvah than shalom, and there is nothing worse than machloket/arguments. And in our times (keep in mind that he wrote this 250-300 hundred years ago) it’s very hard to find someone who is arguing LShem Shamayim. ” So don’t use that excuse. Have a wonderful day.
We continue with our discussion, based on the Bet HaLevi, about how bad Sinat Hinam/ Baseless Hatred is. Anytime a person is working on improving something, they should know how dangerous it is. For example, if a person doesn’t realize how bad smoking is, they might not think that quitting is worth the fight. But if they understand how bad smoking is, they are more likely to stop. People need to know how bad things are. So he continues, and quotes from Avot D’Rebi Natan (chapter 12) which says that the people of Sedom all hated each other, so God wiped them out from this world, and the next world. In his words, “ You should love people and not hate people, because we find that the people of the Dor Hapelaga/generation of the Dispersion loved each other, so God did not want to destroy them. Rather, He spread them out. But the people of Sedom hated each other, so they got destroyed from this world and the next. Similarly, regarding the Dor HaPelaga/generation of the Dispersion versus the Dor HaMabul/generation of the Flood, Rashi (Bereshit 11,9) asks which was worse. He points out that the Dor Hapelaga tried to attack Hashem, whereas it doesn’t say that about the Dor HaMabul. And yet the Dor HaMabul was wiped out, but the Dor HaPelaga was not. He explains that the Dor HaMabul were thieves who had contention between themselves, and that’s why they were wiped out. The Dor HaPelaga , on the other hand, acted with love and friendship toward one another, as it says, they had one language, so they were saved. From here we learn , says Rashi, that machloket/strife is hated by God, and peace is great.” The Midrash Raba (Bereshit 38,6) also points this out, and says that the Dor HaMabul had no remnant, whereas the Dor HaPelaga continued- again for the same reason. He continues and say that, “ Even if the Jewish people are worshipping idols, Hashem does not punish them (in this world at least).” He quotes a pasuk that says, “ Ephraim (a term used for the Jewish people) has avoda zara, but I will leave them ( and not come down on them right now). The Reshit Chochma says that We see how Hashem gives people some slack in this world (eventually, in the next world, they will get punished) more so when it comes to Avodah Zara than when it comes to Machloket. We see this in the Dor Hamidbar / generation of the Desert. When they sinned with the Golden Calf, they were not sentenced to forty years in the desert. But when they had a machloket , or with Korach, they got horrible punishments- with Korach even children under the age of 13 punished. He goes on with example after of example of how Hashem looks away at Avoda Zara but will not look away when it comes to machloket .
The Chafetz Chaim, in his sefer Ahavat Yisrael (chapter 1) explains why Sinat Hinam/Baseless Hatred is such a terrible Mitzvah. He says that whenever a person commits a sin, he brings upon himself a spirit of contamination. There are 248 limbs, and 365 sinews in the body, that each correspond to the positive and negative Mitzvot. Our bodies are a microcosm of the Mitzvot, and in order to be spiritually healthy, one has to keep the Mitzvot. When a person does a mitzvah, it brings kedusha/holiness to a certain body part- for example when you do the Mitzvah of tefilin , it brings kedusha to your bicep, or if you have a mezuzah , it brings kedusha to your fingertips. We don’t know exactly what matches what, but when you do mitzvot you become infused with kedusha . This can be compared to how aerobic exercise brings health to the body, and how push ups help your muscles, etc. But the opposite is true as well. When a person commits a sin, such as eating unhealthy food, consuming a lot of sugar, this brings unhealthiness, and in the spiritual realm, it brings contamination. The Chafetz Chaim cites a Gemarah that if you listen to nonsense with your ears, your ears are spiritually impacted, and so on, with each of the limbs. With each sin comes tumah/ impurity , which sometimes brings a punishment. That is why when a person suffers a punishment, he’s told to check his deeds. Because based on a person’s deeds, certain organs can become corrupted or unhealthy. The Chafetz Chaim continues that there are different types of limbs. A person can stub their toe or dislocate their pinky. This might be uncomfortable. A person might suffer from plantar fasciitis, which is when a muscle that runs under the foot gets inflamed. It’s extremely uncomfortable but not at all life-threatening. But what happens when a person has a disease in a vital organ, such as the heart or brain? That could be deadly. The Chafetz Chaim says that Sinat Hinam affects the heart. It’s a heart disease, and a heart disease is very dangerous. For example, there is a certain bacteria, Endocarditis, which causes an infection of the heart. It often starts with a simple dental procedure such as a cleaning, but bacteria gets into the bloodstream and if the person has an artificial heart valve, it can be fatal in a matter of days. The Chafetz Chaim says that Sinat Hinam is like a heart bacteria, and therefore it’s extremely dangerous. We have to be very careful, and that is why we are working on our spiritual heart health. Have a wonderful day.
We continue quoting from the Bet HaLevi, who says, “ Heaven forbid, if we arouse hatred in our hearts, beside transgressing the positive commandment, we also transgress the negative of, ‘Do not hate your brother in your heart.’” And this involves no action, just a feeling in your heart. He adds, “It is from the greatest sins in the Torah.” That is a little bit scary, as we will soon see. A person might think that this doesn’t apply to him, because he doesn’t hate any body. But we look to Rav Yehezkiel Levenstein, the famed Mashgiach of Ponevezh, whose job is to show us that although there are certain things that we might think are okay, we always have to work on ourselves. In his book on Emunah, when he talks about ways of strengthening Emunah, he asks: Who can actually testify about himself that he does not have Sinat Hinam/baseless hatred? The reason, he says, is because we do not really understand what baseless hatred includes. He says that if you are not infused with love for your friends, that is already borderline Sina/hatred . If you are not fully engrossed in constant thoughts of trying to do kindness with your friend, that is also borderline Sina . And if you speak Lashon Hara or Rechilut about a person, without question, that is a sign that you don’t love people. Because if you loved him, how would you speak that way? So this is an indicator that we really do have hatred, although we might not be aware of it. If a person is cruel, if a person does not look at others in a positive way, these are indications that there is an underlying Sinat Hinam. Furthermore, he says that God Himself says that a man is born, “ evil from his birth .” When it comes to bad Middot , if we don’t work on ourselves, we are guilty until proven innocent . People make the mistake of thinking that they are okay. But the pesukim tell us, “ Man is born like a donkey.” He is a wild man. He has to work on himself. If you don’t actively work on Ahavat Yisrael/Loving your fellow Jew , chances are, you are lacking. We cannot take it for granted that we are okay. We have to work on ourselves constantly. Many people have told me that they never realized how inclusive the Mitzvah of Ahavat Yisrael. Until learning these daily lessons, they never realized that it includes their spouses, their children, wicked people or strangers. This is something to keep on our minds. As we said yesterday, it is the all-inclusive Mitzvah. We must constantly work on it says Rav Levenstein. If we don’t work on it, the default is to be lacking. Have a wonderful day.
I recently saw a beautiful thought from the Shelah HaKadosh. But first, some background: There are 620 letters in the Ten Commandments. The commentaries point out that 620 is the numerical value of the word כתר - keter/crown , as in Keter Torah, the Crown of the Torah, and so there are 620 letters. The rabbis further tell us that the number 620 corresponds to the 613 Mitzvot, plus the 7 rabbinical laws. These seven rabbinic mitzvot are: making a beracha before any pleasure, washing netilat yadayim, lighting Shabbat candles, putting up an Eruv , saying Hallel , and the holidays of Hanukah and Purim. So the 620 letters in the Ten Commandments are meant to include the whole Torah, and also hint to the 613+7 Mitzvot. That is all a standard explanation that I have heard in the past. The Shelah adds a beautiful Hiddush : He suggests examining the last seven letters of the Ten Commandments, which comprise the words אשר לרעך That is to your friend He explains that those let seven letters hint to the Mitzvah of Ve’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/ Loving your friend like you love yourself, which is the Klal Gadol B’Torah - the all-inclusive Mitzvah that includes the entire Torah . Therefore, he explains, with the Ten Commandments, Hashem hints to the 613 Mitzvot, plus an additional hint to what we should focus on: the all-inclusive Mitzvah of Ve’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha, We should all look at life through that lens, because a person can’t possibly grab onto every little mitzvah, and have them all on his mind constantly. But with the Mitzvah of Ve’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha , a person can hold onto the Torah, because many, many Mitzvot come from that Mitzvah, even Mitzvot between man and God. For example, if I have to be nice to my friend, surely I have to be nice to my Creator. This is a beautiful concept. אשר לרעך Those last seven letters were put there in order to give us an all-inclusive approach to the Torah: Ve’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. Have a wonderful day.
In our last unit on Ahavat Yisrael as it relates to one’s spouse, we will quote from the Pele Yoetz, who speaks separately to both the husband and wife on a similar topic. First, he tells the husband, “If you want best fence, in order to prevent fights in the home, do not be so exacting about every penny spent.” That is good advice. Don’t sit there accounting that two or three dollars extra were spent here or there, or ask how much the avocados cost. Don’t be so exacting. If a person has money, he should let his wife spend it. He should make her happy, because beracha/blessing comes down, only because of the wife.. If she is happy and there is shalom in the house, then the beracha can come down. He has to realize who is bringing the Baracha. I heard a beautiful mashal many years ago from Alan Haber on a tape (!) entitled, “Who is the Walmart Buyer” Imagine a man who had a hard day at work and came home and told his wife not to bother him or talk to him, because he had a hard day. He goes to lay down in the living room to unwind. 10 minutes later the doorbell rings and it is none other than Bob, the Walmart buyer. The man pops up, all energized and smiling and has a long conversation with Bob. Bob is the buyer, he’s the one that makes the orders. Says Alan Haber, who is the Walmart buyer of your home? Your wife! She is the one that brings the blessing down. So use the same energy and enthusiasm that you have for when the Walmart buyers call,for your wife. Don’t be so exacting on the money she spends, because she’s bringing it in. It is a business expense. That is the advice that the Pele Yoetz gives to the husband. To the wife, he says, “There are women that don’t realize, and they get into fights with their husbands because they aren’t giving them enough money. That is silly. Let’s analyze it. If the husband is truly poor, and cannot afford it it’s bad enough that he is poor and can’t afford it. He’s too embarrassed to tell his wife, so don’t add pain onto his pain. Rather, do the opposite. A wife should comfort her husband and tell him not to feel bad. She should tell him not to worry, because Hashem will turn it around. And if they don’t have in this world, then they will have in the next world. She should tell him to be happy, they will survive. She should say things to make him happy and alleviate his concerns. So the Pele Yoetz tells the husband not to be exacting, then he tells the wife not to demand so much if her husband can’t afford it. That says the Pele Yoetz, is the secret to success.To be able to look away at expenses ( if you can, of course)And to be easy-going on that topic to help one’s marriage and bring the Beracha, which we are all looking for.
Today we continue on the topic of Ve’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha, Loving your friend like you love yourself, as it applies to a spouse , quot ing from the Pele Yoetz on this topic . The first thing that he says is that, “ The main love that is supposed to take place between a husband and wife is love for the soul. This means direct ing each other softly, nicely, sweetly, in the proper ways of acting. If a wife sees her husband speaking Lashon Hara, she should, quiet ly and tactfully remind him. We aren’t supposed to police each other, but rather, the love and concern one has for their spouse should help strengthen one another’s religion. Furthermore, he says that when we speak about loving one’s spouse , it doesn’t mean that you have the perfect spouse, or that it’s obviously a perfect relationship. If a person is in a situation where the spouse is not that easy, he says, “ It’s a great nisayon/test but even so, they should act with peace and friendship, for the sake of the Shechina, in order to bring Kavod/honor to the Shechina. He goes on to cite cases in the Gemarah of great rabbis who had wives that were not easy (and the opposite as well). The story is told of the rabbi whose wife would give him the opposite of whatever food he asked for. If he asked for oatmeal, for example, she would give him cold cereal, and if he asked for cold cereal, she would make him oatmeal. The rabbi’s son caught onto this issue, and he decided to intervene. When his father asked for oatmeal, he told his mother that he asked for cold cereal. The mother then made oatmeal, and the boy served it to his father. When the rabbi saw that his wife had prepared exactly what he asked for, he wondered what was going on, and the boy explained his trick. But the rabbi told his son that he should not train himself to lie, and instructed him revert back to the original way, even if it meant that he would not get what he wanted. On another occasion this rabbi was seen at a wedding wrapping up some cookies. When he was asked what he was doing, he explained that he was bringing them home to his wife. That answer was met with surprise, because it was known that his wife was very difficult. The rabbi replied that, “ It is enough that she raises my children and protects me from sin.” There are the bare basics of marriage, and then there are extras. There are many things that people take for granted, or feel that are required, when they really aren’t. But even the most basic advantages of a marriage are enough to require a person to love their spouse. It isn’t always easy, but it should be done Leshem Shamayim, for the sake of Heaven, and it’s a tremendous zechut/ merit when a person works through the challenges of a difficult relationship.
We continue our theme of loving one’s spouse. The pasuk says in Devarim ( chapter 24, pasuk ה ) יִקַּח אִישׁ אִשָּׁה חֲדָשָׁה לֹא יֵצֵא בַּצָּבָא וְלֹא יַעֲבֹר עָלָיו לְכָל דָּבָר נָקִי יִהְיֶה לְבֵיתוֹ שָׁנָה אֶחָת וְשִׂמַּח אֶת אִשְׁתּוֹ אֲשֶׁר לָקָח When a man takes a new wife, he should not go out to war for a year, or be involved for any purpose (e.g taking business trips without his wife’s permission). He should be clean ( i.e. empty) of obligations for an entire year for his wife, and make the wife that he married happy. The Chida brings down from Rabbenu Ephraim (a Rishon) and the Baal Turim that if we take last letter from each of the words נָקִ י יִהְיֶ ה לְבֵית וֹ שָׁנָ ה (He should be clean for his household for a year), we get Hashem’s name: Yud, Heh, Vav and Heh This is significant in two ways; Firstly, the Shechina comes down for a husband and wife, if they are zoche /meritorious. But, the Shechina does not come down unless a person is happy. So, in order to bring the Shechina down, you have to make your spouse happy. That is the focus of the first year of marriage, but it is a mistake to think that this only applies to the first year. The Shechina is always there, but there is a special focus during the first year. We can see this from how the Gedolim treated their wives. Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach was once returning home, and when he stopped to straighten out his tie before he entered his home, he was asked why. He answered that it was because for a husband and wife that merit, the Shechina is there, so he wanted to look presentable when greeting the Shechina (and also to greet his wife with simcha ). I recall that when his wife passed way, Rav Shlomo Zalman did something that made waves throughout Yerushalayim. It was customary in Yerushalayim that a husband ask his wife for mechila/forgiveness at her funeral. But Rav Shlomo Zalman said he could not ask for mechila because in all their years of marriage, they never got into an argument, or had any reason to ask for mechila from one another. How do we get there? By realizing the great benefit of Shalom Bayit, and recognizing that simcha is needed in household, in order to bring the Shechina down. One of the reasons that we make a chatan and kallah happy for a whole week, with music and dancing etc, is to bring the Shechina down. And that has to continue throughout the marriage. That only happens is through Ve’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha.
We continue with the theme that VeAhavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/ Love your friend like you love yourself also applies to one’s spouse- and not only does it apply, but rather, it’s one of the primary focuses of VeAhavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. We see this from a Gemarah in Masechet Kiddushin (41a): In the days of old, it was common for a person to send a messenger to find a wife, as we see with Eliezer, the servant of Abraham, who was sent as a messenger to get Rivka Imenu for Yitzhak Avinu. The messenger brings back the wife, but does the he actually make the kiddushin ? Does the messenger actually make the marriage? The Gemarah says, “It is forbidden for a man to marry a woman before seeing her .” You can’t trust the messenger. You have to see her for yourself, because it’s possible that when you see her, you might see something that disgusts you, and then she will be disgusting in your eyes. And the Torah says, VeAhavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. If you’re going to be married, but you aren’t going to love your wife because she is not attractive to you (because you did not see her before you got married), you will end up living a life in sin - the sin of disliking your wife. So VeAhavta LeRe’echa Kamocha is specific to one’s wife. Furthermore, the Rambam, in the laws of Ishut ( chapter 15, halacha 19) says, “ Our rabbis commanded us that a man must respect his wife more than his own body and love her like his own body.” Again, we see that there is a special command of VeAhavta LeRe’echa Kamocha when it comes to a spouse. The Sefer HaBrit, in his Ma’Amar on Ahavat Re’im /Beloved Friends ( chapter 15) says that people make a mistake, because of the principle that the Rambam says, to love her like you love your body, and because of the rule of Ishto K’Gufo/ that a person’s wife is like himself (they are one unit) . A person has to be especially careful with Ve’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha with his spouse. There are people who are careful to keep this Mitzvah with everybody. They love every body, except their wives, who are the exception. They disgrace their wives and reason that it’s okay because if they have a right to embarrass themselves, then they can embarrass their wives. It’s not someone other than themselves. They don’t realize that, in his words, “ The sin is too great to bear . Treating your wife improperly is worse than mistreating anybody else.” We are stressing this point so that people should not make the mistake of thinking it’s only their wife, so they can lash out at her, and it’s their right. That’s a mistake. VeAhavta LeRe’echa Kamocha applies to a spouse more than anyone else. Have a wonderful day.
As we have been learning, Ve’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha- Love your friend like you love yourself, applies to everyone, from strangers to wicked people. Now we will discuss someone closer to home- your spouse. Ve’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha applies husband to wife, and wife to husband. And actually, in the berachot we make at a wedding ( and for the following seven days), we say, “ They should be happy, those beloved friends,” using the same term for “ friends ” as written in the Mitzvah Vehavta LeRe’echa Kamocha . The husband and wife are called beloved friends. They have Ahavat Re’im. In the Sefer Ruach Chaim ( Pirkei Avot, chapter 6, Mishnah 1), Rav Chaim Volozhin brings down a pasuk in Mishleh (25,17) הֹקַר רַגְלְךָ מִבֵּית רֵעֶךָ פֶּן־יִשְׂבָּעֲךָ וּשְׂנֵאֶךָ “You should not ‘cool off’ your feet in the house of your friend.” In other words, don’t spend so much time there. Don’t wear out the welcome mat. He says that this applies to a regular friend, but for re’im ahuvim/ beloved friends , it’s just the opposite. The longer the relationship, the more the love develops. This is a responsibility. There is a husband to wife belovedness that is not just a regular Mitzvah, but rather one that should be constantly increasing. It’s a Re’im Ahuvim Sometimes people don’t realize that. They take their spouses for granted, and they don’t think that there is any special Mitzvah of Ve’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha to a spouse. But, as we said at the beginning of this series, kavana/intent is very important. So when you do something for your husband or wife, have in mind Ve’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. There’s a famous story about Rav Aryeh Levine. When his wife sprained her ankle, they went to the doctor together. And when the doctor asked why they were there, the rabbi responded, “ Our foot hurts.” That is the love that is supposed be, between husband and wife. They are one unit. This aspect of Ve’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha is quite close to us, and charity begins in the home. Let us focus on this mitzvah of Ve’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha t hat might seem quite simple, but isn’t simple at all. Have a wonderful day.
We continue with this week’s theme of whether or not we have a right to hate the wicked person. There are certain people that are zealots . They cannot tolerate evil, and they fume when they see any desecration of God’s name. How do we know if this is sincere or not? I saw a beautiful thought regarding Pinchas , the first zealot, who killed Zimri while he was in the act of a sin. It says, “ He took a spear in his hand.” One of the rabbis explains that Pinhas was not walking around with a spear, waiting to stab someone. He was a regular man, minding his own business. But he saw something, so he went out, got the spear and did what he had to do. Some people are walking around with a spear, looking for people they can stab in their zealousness, for desecrating God’s name. That is not what we want. There is a famous comment from the Brisker Rav. He asks what the difference is, between a housewife and a cat. Both the housewife and the cat chase the mice out of the house. But the difference is that the housewife wishes there were never any mice in the house to begin with. Now that there is a mouse, she has to chase it out. On the other hand, the cat wants the mouse there. He wants to pounce on it and eat it. The Brisker Rav then explains that there are two kinds of zealots. One kind wishes that there were no sinners. He wishes that everyone was good and observant, but occasionally, when they aren’t, he has to protest and get involved. The other type of zealot is really just looking for the action. He is just waiting to pounce on somebody. He wants to fill his zealous needs, and this person is just the mouse, fulfilling his desire to pounce. We have to differentiate and be clear when we get heated under the collar. Is it because we really care, or are we just looking for someone to pounce on? When we see someone doing something wrong, do we say, “Oh! Gotcha!” Where is the zealotry coming from? This is yet another key ingredient to assess when it comes to being disturbed by a person’s wickedness.
We continue discussing whether one can or can’t hate a wicked person. I once heard Rav Wolbe say, in the name of his rebbe, Rav Yerucham Levovitz, that only an Adam Gadol/ great man can hate a rasha . Why? Because when you hate a wicked person, you aren’t hating the person, you are hating their deeds, and only a great man can differentiate between the two. There is a Gemarah in Masechet Berachot ( daf י , amud א ) that backs up this point: There were some ruffians in Rabbi Meir’s neighborhood, who caused him a lot of pain, and Rabbi Meir prayed for them to die. His wife Bruria reproached him, saying that if his reasoning was that it says, “ Let the “sinners” be obliterated,” it actually says, “ Let the “ sins ” be obliterated. Therefore, she told him, “ Pray for them to return in Teshuva, and then they won’t be wicked anymore.” Sure enough, he followed his wife’s advice, he prayed for them, and they returned in Teshuva . So we see that the Gemara sides with Rabbi Meir’s wife, that we should not pray for the wicked to die, but rather pray for their wickedness to go away. Furthermore, when you have a right to hate the wicked, it actually means the wicked in the wicked person, and not the person himself. Only a great man can make the distinction. Rav Wolbe also told a story about the Elder of Kelm. He always had a very pale complexion during the week, but on Shabbat, his face would change, and he’d get a reddish look to him. One Shabbat, his face stayed pale and his students didn’t know why. They waited until after Havdala to ask him what happened, when he told them: Peretz Smolenskin had died. He explained that this man had been a communist, anti-religious Jew who had caused a lot of problems and was a true threat to religion. Then why the pale face? He told them, “ Imagine the pain of this neshama, when he gets to the world of truth and discovers that he’d been fighting for lies his whole life. Imagine the pain that his soul will go through.” Thinking of this, the Alter of Kelm could not enjoy Shabbat. That is a great man. As bad as the man was, he had a Jewish soul that would suffer. The Alter of Kelm felt bad, he felt for his pain. That is a great man, and that is why we simple people don’t necessarily have the right to hate anybody. Because we cannot make that distinction between the person and his deeds.
We have been discussing the concept that although we have a right to hate a wicked person, that is only in a case where the person was rebuked and did not accept the rebuke. It is rare, these days, to find someone who knows how to properly rebuke. Therefore, everyone is considered before rebuke, and thus we have no right to hate anyone. This is fairly explicit in the pasuk, Vayikrah 19,17: לֹא־תִשְׂנָא אֶת־אָחִיךָ בִּלְבָבֶךָ הוֹכֵחַ תּוֹכִיחַ אֶת־עֲמִיתֶךָ Don’t hate your friend in your heart, Give him rebuke. So, before you have a right to hate a person, you must rebuke him. Right after that, it says Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha Love your friend like you love yourself. For which I heard an explanation that rebuke only works if it comes out of love. You can’t jump straight to hating the guy. First you have to love him, because only then are you able to rebuke him. Then, after you’ve loved him and rebuked him, and he didn’t accept it, then you have a right to hate him. But more often than not, people get stuck on the hate. There’s a other beautiful story about the Chafetz Chaim that relates to this topic, told over by Rabbi Mordechai Shapiro, the late father of Rav Ephraim Shapiro. There was a rabbi who was once giving a class in Miami, discussing something that happened once in the yeshiva of the Chafetz Chaim. In those days, there were challenges of the Reform movement, even in the Yeshiva world, and a boy was caught smoking on Shabbat. That is obviously grounds for expulsion, but before they expelled him, they brought him to the Chafetz Chaim’s office. After the Chafetz Chaim spoke to him for a few minutes, the boy never smoked a cigarette again, and he went on to become a religious man. No one ever knew what happened in that office, but that was the power of the Chafetz Chaim. After the rabbi finished the lecture,, an old man approached him and confessed that he had been that boy, and offered to tell the rest of the story. He explained that the Chafetz Chaim had held his hand and said, over and over, “ Shabbat, Shabbat, the holy Shabbat, ” and started to cry. His tears fell onto the young man’s hand, and he was able to feel the Chafetz Chaim’s love for him, his warmth and concern. After that, he couldn’t bring himself to smoke a cigarette again. Every time he felt the urge to smoke, he felt the warm tears of the Chafetz ChaIm on his hand, and he couldn’t bring himself to smoke. That’s rebuke, and that is the art that we don’t necessarily have today.
Yesterday we discussed how a man can not be called wicked unless he is rebuked, and how most ( if not all) people today are considered before rebuke. We don’t know the art of rebuking, but we can begin to learn a little about it, from one of my favorite Chafetz Chaim stories: The Chafetz Chaim traveled throughout Europe, selling his books. He once stopped off at a Jewish inn for the night. As he sat in the dining room waiting for a meal, a large fellow barged in, sat down, made rude comments, cursed, didn’t wash before eating, and wolfed down everything with no beracha before or after. It was quite a site. The Chafetz Chaim began to approach this man, who was apparently Jewish, when the innkeeper stopped him. He told the Chafetz Chaim not to bother, because the man was a Cantonist (he had been conscripted into the Czar’s army at a young age) and had served in the army for twenty- five years. The innkeeper told the Chafetz Chaim not to bother trying to change him, as many had tried before. The man was stubborn and had missed the opportunity, at the right age. The Chafetz Chaim was unfazed by this warning. He sat down next to the man, introduced himself as Yisroel Meir, and asked the man his name. The Chafetz Chaim then asked if it was true that he’d been drafted, as a Cantonist, into the Czar’s army for twenty-five years. The man said it was true. The Chafetz Chaim then told the man that he must be a holy individual, having been able to retain his Jewish identity after all those years, probably having been beaten countless times, and pressured to convert to Christianity. He continued that the man probably never had time to study Torah, and yet he still held on; that through the worst of conditions he was able to stay strong. The Chafetz Chaim told the man that he wished he could have his merits. He said he wished he could have his portion in Olam Habah. The Cantonist then burst out crying, and kissed the hand of the Chafetz Chaim. The Chafetz Chaim continued, and told the man, “ You will go to Olam Habah, but you never learned Torah, and you aren’t keeping Mitzvot. You will be embarrassed to be amongst all those great people. If you’d improve in just a few areas, do you know how great you would be? There would be no one like you!” The man turned his life around and made Teshuva. That is rebuke. Rebuke comes out of love and concern, and it’s non-judgemental. There are few people that have the abilities of the Chafetz Chaim, to give rebuke. That’s why we can’t hate the rough “ Cantonists .” A Cantonist is not just someone who was conscripted into the Russian army. It’s anyone who was not given the proper upbringing with Torah values, who therefore started off with a handicap. And until we have the proper skills and techniques of rebuke, we cannot deem anybody a Rasha . Therefore, we have no right to hate any body, based on the theory that we consider them a Rasha .
At the beginning of the Bet Halevi’s essay on Ahavat Yisrael, Loving your fellow man, he says, “Love to everyone is a positive commandment, as it says, VeAhavta LeRe’echa Kamocha Love your friend like you love yourself. But there are some smart people who know some pesukim . They know that in Tehilim perek 139, pasuk 21, it says הֲלוֹא־מְשַׂנְאֶיךָ ה׳ אֶשְׂנָא Those that hate You, God, I hate. They even know Sefer Hinuch, Mitzvat 238, which says, when it comes to hating the wicked, there is no prohibition; what’s more, it’s actually a Mitzvah to hate them. So now the smart people among us have their excuse. They label people as wicked , and therefore they can exercise their trait of hatred. ( But, not so fast- there’s a happy ending). The Sefer Hinuch continues with a little caveat: It’s a mitzvah to hate the wicked only after we have rebuked them on their sin many times and they didn’t do Teshuva/return. So there is a condition. You can’t just hate any wicked person. It’s only after he doesn’t accept rebuke. The HaGaot Mamoniot, a Rishon, says the same thing. And the Chazon Ish, one of the great poskim of yesteryear, (and a very strict rabbi), says very clearly, in perek ו , halacha ג of Hilchot Deot, that you can only hate the person after you have rebuked him, but adds (quoting from a earlier source)- By us, we are always considered before rebuke, because we don’t know how to rebuke. Therefore, the wicked fellow is always considered before rebuke. So that excuse, that it’s a Mitzvah to hate some people, because they are wicked, is gone. Rebuke is not that simple. Even if you told him many times not to do a certain sin, you don’t really know how to rebuke. Two thousand years ago, the Gemarah said that very few people knew how to rebuke properly. It’s a talent and an art, with a science behind it, that we will discuss at a later date. For today, the lesson is that it’s not so simple to title someone as a wicked person and be allowed to hate them.
We continue on the topic of Ahavat Yisrael regarding strangers. As we have discussed, we should not limit our hessed to our own type of people. There is a beautiful commentary from the Hidushei HaRim, one of the original Gerrer Rebbes. The Torah, in Vayikrah , lists the unkosher birds. One of them is the Hasida . We don’t know exactly what this bird is, but Rashi explains that it’s called Hasida because it does acts of hessed/piousness with its friends, by giving them food. The Hiddushei HaRim points out that if that’s the case, then the Hasida should be kosher, based on the Ramban that tells us that all of the unkosher birds are unkosher because they are cruel, they have claws; they are hunters and predators. And based on the simple pshat , the Ramban says that when we eat an animal, we take on that animal’s character traits. We are what we eat. That’s why we eat docile animals such as sheep and cows. We don’t eat lizards, eagles or other types of predators. We eat from good, docile animals that have good middot . We don’t drink the milk of unkosher animals because that builds our nature. So why is the Hasida , whose name means “ pious,” unkosher? She does Hasidut , she goes beyond the call of duty. Isn’t that a wonderful bird? In answer, the Hidushei HaRim looks carefully at the words of Rashi, which say that the Hasida does kindness with its friends. But if you’re not on her list, and you’re not part of her clique, then she won’t help you. That is a sign of Tumah/impurity, and we don’t want those kind of middot . This is a shocking piece of information. We have what seems to be to be a Baal hessed, but when she hears their last name, or what neighborhood they come from, she declines to help. We have to understand that hessed is for everyone. Lo Alenu, there are many hessed organizations in hospitals, and they don’t differentiate. Bikur Holim of X or Y doesn’t check to see what your last name is. They will bring you hot soup anyway. If you get a flat tire, Haveirim will take care of you anyway. If you are sick, Hatzalah will take care of of anyway. None of the hessed organizations differentiate. Of course, there is a concept that if you have a limited amount of funds, the poor of your city come first, and there are certain priorities. But the concept of only taking care of your own, of only doing kindness with your friends, is unacceptable. Baruch Hashem we’ve seen many good examples. Years ago there was a certain plight in one community, and a neighboring community held a drive for them. There are many such cases. We have to realize that this is the Jewish way, and not be like this bird that only takes care of its own.
Today we continue with the topic of Ahavat Yisrael as it pertains to strangers. When discussing this topic, the Pele Yoetz references the Sefer HaBrit , which was written by Rabbi Pinchas Eliyahu of Vilna, who lived before the Pele Yoetz. The Sefer HaBerit, when discussing this topic, mentions that it was common in his day to dislike people from other countries. He describes this as classic Sinat Hinam/baseless hatred, because in this case, there is truly no reason for the dislike. You do not even know the man, and yet he gets labeled as a stranger from another country or culture- whether Sepharadi, Ashkenazi Hasid- or any of the different types within each of those. You do not even know the fellow, but you give him a general label that his kind are all greedy, all cheap, all flaunty …or any other generalization you might use for a group of people. This is real Sinat Hinam , he says. He adds that what is amazing is that this is prevalent even among good Torah Jews and leaders (and this was written over 200 years ago!) This type of Sinat Hinam is worse than simple Sinat Hinam of one man to another, on three accounts: 1- When you dislike your neighbor, you dislike one person. But when you dislike a group , that’s like disliking an entire tribe. It’s tens of thousands of Jews that you dislike now- and tens of thousands of constant sins. 2- When you dislike a fellow, it’s not totally for no reason. There’s some reason- he cut you off, he did something to irk you… there’s a little reason. But to dislike an entire group of people… it’s impossible to say that an entire group of people or a whole country has a negative flaw. Every group has their good, their bad, and their indifferent. 3- When you dislike a fellow for a reason, you can eventually make up. But if you dislike an entire group of people, in his words, if there is no beginning to the cause of hate, there can be no end as well. That’s why he says that we have to be extremely careful of this mistake, which comes from disliking people that are different from us. That is why the Torah stresses to love the convert. It’s not just the convert. It’s anyone that is different than you. We are twelve tribes, but we all camp around one Mishkan . Don’t make that mistake.
Yesterday we introduced the concept of loving the convert. The Sefer Hinuch, in Mitzvah #431 tells us that this Mitzvah applies in all places, to both men and women. One who transgresses this sin, and pains a convert, or doesn’t put forth the full effort in helping them (whether their property or themselves), or doesn’t respect them because they are converts (who have no help and are outsiders), this person has annulled this positive commandment and his sin is very grave. He continues: We can learn from this wonderful Mitzvah to have mercy on anybody who is in a city that is not the place of his birth, or the place of his forefathers. Don’t take advantage of him, because he’s alone and doesn’t have helpers. The Torah tells us to have mercy on people that don’t have help, regardless of whether or not they are converts. With these character traits, God will have mercy on us, the blessings of heaven will come upon our heads . The proof is that the Torah tells us that we should be nice to. converts, because we were converts in Mitzrayim. But we weren’t converts, we were strangers . We are supposed to remember what that feels like- the worry, the angst that a person has when he’s a stranger and doesn’t have a common language. We went through it, until God took us out. Therefore, we should have mercy on converts and strangers as well. This is from the Sefer Hinuch, a Rishon, from 800 years ago. The Sefer Pele Yoetz, written about 200 years ago, by Rav Eliezer Papo, on the topic of converts, brings this down as well, and makes the same point- “ converts” doesn’t mean only converts. Should we treat the convert better than a Jewish stranger who’s alone? Is he worse than a convert? Taking care of him is also a special Mitzvah. The Pele Yoetz says that this Mitzvah is especially pertinent regarding someone Ashkenaz, who is in a Sephardic land, or the opposite. Today it’s not lands, it’s shuls or communities. He says that we have to respect and treat them properly, and not do like many of the ignorant people who say “Let the Sephardi go to the Sephardi, and the Ashkenazi go to the Ashkenazi!” (to those collecting money), Or say that, “ Every species should have mercy on its own species.” He says, Has V’Shalom to speak like that. You’re cursing God! We are one nation. We have one Father, one Torah, one set of Mitzvot. Just because we speak different languages, are we different people? Is there a difference between a Sephardi and an Ashkenazi? He says, Heaven forbid to make such a Hillul Hashem . The opposite- if someone is different than you, then you have a greater Mitzvah to love them, based on the fundamental of Ahavat HaGer- Loving the Convert. And the more mercy you have on people, the more God will have mercy on you. These are the beautiful words of the Pele Yoetz, and they are very practical. People make the mistake of looking funny or cross-eyed at someone who has a different accent, a different way of pronouncing things, a different hat or type of suit- as if we are not all Jews. But times don’t change and people don’t change. This is something that has to be worked on. B’ezrat Hashem we will.
We have been quoting from the Ma'Amar of the Bet Halevi, his essay on Avahat Yisrael. He says, Regarding a convert, there is an additional commandment- to love the convert. Therefore, when it comes to the convert, we have two positive commandments, as the Rambam writes in Hilchot Deot. Why does the Torah stress this special love for the convert, and how does it apply to us even when dealing with people who aren’t actual converts? The Sefer Hinuch, in Mitzvah #431, explains the understanding behind the Mitzvah of loving the convert, and adds an important rule for all mitzvot. God chose the Jewish people to be a holy nation, and He wants to merit them. Therefore, He directs us and commands us to act in ways of compassion and benevolence, and He warns us to crown ourselves with every beautiful character trait, so that we will find favor in the eyes of the people that see us, so they will say about the Jewish people, "Am Hashem Eleh- These are God’s people." We are the chosen people, and God commands us to act on a higher level, so that we should be recognized as His people. He says, How sweet it is, to act with kindness and grant people goodness, when they have left their nation, left their family, their father and mother, to come under God’s wing and join our nation. How much do we have to love and take care of them! That is why God made an additional command, to show how special we are. When we merit in these good Middot, “God’s goodness will come upon us, and cleave to us. And nothing will prevent goodness from coming upon us. Because goodness spreads on the good, and the opposite on the evil. So, says the Sefer Hinuch, God commands us to have good Middot, because good Middot bring God’s benevolence upon us. One example of an outstanding Middah is being nice to a stranger who came to join our people. Tomorrow, we will continue with the practical applications of this.
We have now completed the high holiday season, and discussed the many connections between our holidays and the Mitzvah of Ve’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/Loving your friend like you love yourself. Now, as we start off the regular year, I would like to share a beautiful thought from the Pele Yoetz, on the topic of Ahavat Reyim/loving your friends. Over the course of the high holiday season at our Shul, almost everyone bought something. The Aliyot were for sale, the Hakafot were for sale, the meals in the Succah were for sale… everything was for sale. People spent a lot of money. In the words of the Pele Yoetz, “Fortunate are the Jewish people; How much effort they put forth, how much exertion they put forth, how much money they spend for Mitzvot! Lulav etrog and Arba Minim… Succah…meat and wine for the holiday…there are endless expenses. The Jewish people are wonderful. But, he says, what is painful is that there are great Mitzvot that people are not chasing after, because they don’t realize that they are mitzvot. As it says, ‘Chase after a light Mitzvah just like a heavy Mitzvah,’ which means that we should chase after the Mitzvot that are seemingly light, because we don’t know what the reward is for those. For example, do we know what the reward is for building a fence around a roof ? That is a Mitzvat Aseh/positive commandment , that people don’t necessarily chase after, and may not be as diligent in. People build homes with porches, and before the contractor has the chance to order the iron, they leave their porches fenceless for a short while. That is a lack of a positive commandment, and it may even be a negative commandment. But people may not look at that as a mitzvah, or not a great Mitzvah. So that is on the unknown, he says. But a great Mitzvah, such as loving your friends, has so much in it, we should be chasing it. We don’t, because the yetzer hara knows what a great Mitzvah it is, and tries to take it away from us. Therefore, a God-fearing man has to work on this. So, as we end our holiday season, and we have no more things to buy, there are mitzvot out there that are as great as the great things that we buy for the holidays. One of these is the mitzvah of VeAhavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. B’ezrat Hashem, we will all rededicate ourselves to this Mitzvah.
Succot is the holiday that commemorates the Clouds of Glory in the desert. On the first two nights of Succot, when we eat the two kezayits of bread in the Succah, we are supposed to have in mind that we are fulfilling a positive commandment, and remembering the Clouds of Glory, as brought down in Shulchan Aruch. The commentaries ask a question: There were three constant miracles for forty years in the desert. The Clouds of Glory, the manna, and the well that followed them around. So why do we only have a holiday to commemorate the Clouds of Glory? Rav Chaim Palaggi answers that when it came to the well, there were arguments. The manna also came along with contention and arguments. The only one of the three miracles that didn’t have arguments associated with it were the Clouds of Glory, so we commemorate that . But why is that? The Gemarah tells us that the three miracles correspond to three Sadikim . The manna came in the merit of Moshe Rabbenu. Moshe Rabbenu was a man of God, he went up to heaven and ate the food of angels and brought down with him the food of angels. The be’er/well was in the merit of Miriam. A well has a few stones around the outside, but you can’t tell what its true depth is. This symbolizes the modest woman; from the outside, you can’t tell what her true depth is, because it is hidden. Finally, the Clouds of Glory were in the merit of Aharon HaKohen. Aharon was a man of peace. Ohev Shalom V’Rodef Shalom- He loved peace and he chased after peace, and that is why the Succah is called Succat Shalom - the Succah of Peace. In our prayers we say, “ And spread upon us the Succot of peace.” Peace was the Middah of Aharon HaKohen, and the Succah brought peace. Therefore, we commemorate this miracle, because it brought peace and unity to the Jewish people. What is it about these clouds of glory that brought peace and unity? There are two explanations. The first is regarding the way we refer to the clouds, as Ananeh Kavod- Clouds of Honor and glory. If a person feels honored and respected and has self-esteem, he gets along with people. When a person is not comfortable and does not feel respected, it is a source of much contention and arguments, because he demands respect from others, gets into arguments and so on. Self-respect is a source of peace. Therefore, the Clouds of Glory, which made them feel that they were honorable people, brought peace. Rav Dessler gives a second explanation-The Clouds of Glory, and the Succah symbolize an existence of minimalism. When you are outside in a hut, you aren’t chasing after your desires. When a person lives a life of simplicity, he does not get into arguments, and that brings him to peace. So whether it is the approach of self-respect, or of abstinence, the Succah brings a person to peace. That is why we commemorate this miracle, because it was a miracle that brought along with it peace. Succat Shalom. Rav Chaim Palaggi also says that it says, “ The entire Jewish people will sit in the Succot” The Gemarah learns from there that a person doesn’t have to have his own Succah; the entire Jewish people can fit into one Succah. This teaches us the concept of unity and connection to the Jewish people. That is the job of the holiday of Succot. As we mentioned previously, the Four Species symbolize the unification of the Jewish people, and now we see that the Succah itself symbolizes unification. This is why some people shake the four species while standing in the Succah- because the four species are united, and the Succah itself is a uniting force. Have a wonderful day, and a wonderful Yom Tov.
We are now preparing for Succot, and as as we will soon see, Ahavat Yisrael/Loving your fellow Jew is a part of this holiday (and all holidays). The Midrash Raba in Vayikrah (chapter 30, section 12) says that the Arba Minim/Four Species that we use on the holiday correspond to the Jewish people. Firstly, the Etrog , which has a good taste and a good smell, refers to those among the Jewish people that have Torah and good deeds. The palm tree has a good taste (from the dates) but has no particular smell, and represents the Jews that have Torah but not good deeds. The Hadasim have a good smell, but no taste, and refer to the Jews that have good deeds but don’t have Torah. The Aravot/willow has no taste or smell, and it represents the Jewish people who have neither Torah nor good deeds. So God says, “ Should I destroy the Jews that don’t have anything? I can’t do that.. Instead…. יוקשרו כולם אגודה אחת Let Me tie them together as one unit והן מכפרין אלו על אלו And they will atone for each other. When the Jewish people are together, they gain from each other. The wicked might learn to give charity or have something else to offer. When they are together, they influence each other for the good, and that brings kapara . ואם עשיתם כך אותה שעה אני מתעלה הה " ד If you do that, then I am lifted up, as the pasuk says, הבונה בשמים מעלותיו ואימתי God builds His levels in Heaven, ואגודתו על ארץ יסדה And we must have an Agudah / a grouping down here This is where the organization “ Agudah” gets its name. This is what happens on the holiday of Succot. The Satmar Rebbe adds that even though we put them together, only three out of the four are actually tied together. The Etrog , which has both good smell and taste and refers to the Sadik , is not tied in with the other three, because the Sadik is not supposed to be knotted up with the rest of the group. He’s supposed to be on a higher level. He’s not supposed to be in all of the places where the rest of the Jewish people are. He belongs in the Bet Midrash. He can come out and connect for a moment, and touch together, but he separates himself. It’s not that everyone has to mix and mingle with everyone at all times. There are certain places that maybe the Sadik does not belong. But one way or another, the Jewish people have to view themselves as united, and that brings their kapara . On Succot, after Yom Kippur and the whole process, this is yet more advice to bring success to the Jewish people: we have the concept of an Aguda/ a grouping, and that is what Ahavat Yisrael accomplishes. Have a wonderful day.
The is our final class before Yom Kippur. The Tur, in chapter 519, says that before Kol Nidre , it’s customary to allow the sinners to come to shul. We say it in our prayers. In the old days, sinners were excommunicated and banned from shul , but on Yom Kippur they were allowed in. Why? The Gemarah - (6b) tells us that any fast day the doesn’t have sinners with it is not a fast day. Why? Because in the Ketoret/Incense, there were ten spices that smelled good. The eleventh one, Helbena , had a bad smell, but was necessary. We need that 11 th spice. So too, ten men are part of a minyan. The eleventh man may not be kosher or may be Mechalel Shabbat , but it doesn’t matter, because he is not a part of the minyan. However, as the eleventh man, we need him there. Why? The Maharal tells us that when a wicked person does Teshuva and humbles himself, that brings down more mercy than when a righteous man does Teshuva . So when we see that man, that once a year Jew, do not underestimate what he can do, and what happens to him when he’s in shul. The Ponevezh Rav brings down from the Midrash Raba in Bereshit (chap. 65, letter 22) that when Yaakov Avinu went in to Yitzhak Avinu, and Yitzhak, thinking he was Esav, was going to bless him, it says, “ He smelled the smell of his clothing , and it smelled like Gan Eden” The Midrash says that it should be read with a slight change to the Hebrew word for clothes Begadav should be read as Bogdav , which means Sinners . “ He smelled the smell of the sinners. And even the sinners had the smell of gan eden on them. This was referring to the times when the Romans destroyed the Bet HaMikdash. When the enemy wanted to enter the Bet HaMikdash, they were afraid and decided to send a Jew in. There was a man named Yosef M’Shita who offered to go in for them. They told him he could go in and take out whatever he wanted for himself. So, he went in and took out the Menorah. The Romans told him he couldn’t have the Menorah, and told him to go back in and get something else, but he refused. They offered him three years of worth of taxes, but again he refused, and refused again. He told them, “ I angered my God once. You want me to anger him a second time?” They ended up torturing him to death, during which he cried out, “ Woe, that I angered my Creator.” A heavenly echo proclaimed that he was going to Olam Habah. That is the kind of Jew that Yitzhak Avinu smelled. He smelled the smell of Gan Eden, even on the biggest sinner. The Ponevezh Rav asks what made this fellow turn around? He obviously was a Jew who lacked any sensitivity. He was ready to take the enemy into the Temple Mount, and then died as a martyr? What exactly happened? The Ponevezh Rav answers that he entered the Bet HaMikdash, and was exposed to holiness. That kedusha turned him around. That’s what happens on Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur is a powerful day. It can turn anyone around, if we come in with the right attitude. In Yosef M’Shita’s case, it wasn’t even with the right attitude, but rather the power of kedusha . Kedusha turns people around. B’ezrat Hashem we will turn ourselves around, and we will have a positive outlook on those people that look distant, and understand that we need them. We need that 11th spice, in order for our smell to go up. Have a wonderful day and a meaningful fast.
One of the fundamentals of Aseret Yemei Teshuva/Ten Days of Repentance is requesting Mechila/Forgiveness from our fellow man. In order for Yom Kippur to work, we must be forgiven. As the Mishnah tell us, Yom Kippur does not work for sins between man and man. First you have to appease your friend. Then, once you have appeased your friend, if he still doesn’t want to forgive you, you can turn the tables. The Rambam, in the laws of Teshuva (chapter 2, halacha 10), tells us, אסור לאדם להיות אכזרי ולא יתפייס אלא יהא נוח לרצות It’s forbidden for someone to be cruel, and not be appeased. One should be easily appeased. That is point number one. It’s forbidden to be cruel. If someone has wronged you, in whatever way, when they come to you and sincerely apologize, the correct and Jewish way is to forgive. And he continues… ובשעה שמבקש ממנו החוטא למחול מוחל בלב שלם ובנפש חפיצה ואפילו הצר לו וחטא לו הרבה .. And when the person that has sinned against you asks forgiveness, forgive him wholeheartedly, with a desired soul Even if he did something very bad. וזהו דרכם של זרע ישראל And this is the way of the Jewish people. The Jewish people are forgiving. In Hilchot De’ot, the laws of the way one is supposed to act (chapter 6, halacha 6), the Rambam also says this- ולא יהא המוחל אכזרי שנאמר ויתפלל אברהם אל האלהים The one who is forgiving should not be cruel, and he sources Abraham Avinu for this rule. After Avraham’s wife Sara was kidnapped, Avimelech returned Sara to Avraham, but Avimelech’s family was afflicted. It says that Avraham prayed for them and forgave them. That is the Jewish way. There’s a story about Rav Moshe Feinstein and someone who really wronged him. The man was a zealot who was upset that Rav Moshe had allowed something that he felt was not allowed, so he hung posters about it, and wrote many letters trying to defame Rav Feinstein. A few months later, this man needed a letter of approbation. He brazenly came to Rav Feinstein to ask for it, and Rabbi Feinstein gave it to him. Rav Feinstein’s son asked whether the Rabbi knew who the man was, and what he had done. When the rabbi said he knew, his son asked the Rabbi how he was able to do it. And the Rabbi replied, “ What do you mean? Yom Kippur passed. It’s over. I forgave him.” That’s the Jewish way. B’ezrat Hashem, we will all exercise our Jewishness, and forgive people with a full, complete heart.
Today’s thought relates both to Ahavat Yisrael and the Aseret Yemei Teshuva, as well as Yom Kippur, which is coming upon us. The Rambam tells us that the custom of all Jewish people is to increase our charity and kindness during the Aseret Yemei Teshuva. The Meshech Chochma is bothered by this. He says that charity and hesed are very nice, but the Aseret Yemei Teshuva are days of repentance, when we prepare for Yom Kippur. So why is charity and kindness an integral part of this process? In order to explain, he first describes how the Kohen Gadol walks into the Holy of Holies, which represents the ultimate of process of Teshuva . Our Musaf prayers, and e verything revolve around the Kohen Gadol . What exactly happens when the Kohen Gadol walks into the Holy of Holies? He explains that the Kohen Gadol represents the Jewish people. When the Jewish people are removed from physicality, as we are on Yom Kippur, we can connect to our Source, which is God. And when we connect to God, that purifies us. Just like contaminated water that joins a Mikveh becomes pure (because it joins the larger body of pure water), if the Jewish people connect to God, that brings them purity. And that is what happens on Yom Kippur. That is why we give charity and do acts of kindness during these ten days- Because we want to root ourselves in the Jewish people. The unit called “ Klal Yisrael,” the Jewish people at large, are always connected. He compares this to a tree in the ground with a branch that is not connected to it. That branch can be connected to the tree and then it becomes part of the tree. The branch does not have to be placed in the ground. It can be grafted to the tree, and then because the tree is in the ground, the branch is also considered in the ground. So too, the Jewish people are always connected to God. How do we connect ourselves to God? We might not be able to directly connect to God, but if we connect to the Jewish people, that purifies us . In his words, הדבוק בכלל ישראל נטהר מטומאתו The one that clings to the Jewish people, is purified from contamination, בתוך כל ישראל עמנו by being part of the Jewish people, our nation, הדבוקים בד ' תמיד They are constantly connected to God That is a powerful thought about the importance of Avahat Yisrael, especially during these days, because it is necessary for the Teshuva process: connect to the Jewish people, and thereby, be connected to God and be purified.
We left off discussing why it is important to accept upon ourselves the Mitzvah of Ve’ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha / loving your friend like you love yourself before we pray. Today we will add another two reasons for this practice. The Sefer Bat Eyin , in Parashat Miketz, explains that when we pray, we need the Shechina/God’s presence , to be there. But the pasuk says that the Shechina only dwells on a humble person. If a person thinks that he, on his own, will be answered, that shows a lack of humility. A person has to realize that he doesn’t deserve, on his own, to be answered. Rather, as the Shunamite woman said, “ I dwell amongst my people.” We have to think, “ I am part of the Jewish people, and I love every Jewish person.” The statement of Ahavat Yisrael before you pray is an indication of humility, and humility causes one’s prayers to be answered. This is an added nuance, from the sefer Bat Eyin. Another reason, from the Sefer Yarot Dvash, (Vol II, 5) by Rabbi Yonatan Eybeschutz, is that when we pray, we come to God, asking Him to go beyond the call of duty, because we don’t necessarily deserve what we are asking for. We want God to act with kindness towards us, and if that is the case, we must act similarly with our friend. A person may not love his friend or he may even hold a grudge against his friend, because his friend wronged him. But how can we ask Hashem to go beyond the call of duty with us, if we aren’t ready to do likewise and forgive our friend? Hashem works Middah k’Neged Middah/ Measure for measure. Therefore, he says, before we pray, we have to remove all anger and complaints against our friends. Then, Hashem will act toward us in the way that we act towards others. Otherwise, it is hard for our prayers to be answered. Therefore, he says, before we pray, we have to fill our hearts with love, even to those that have wronged us. We have to give others the benefit of the doubt. When a person comes before Hashem, he has to, so to say, remove his unclean clothing, and put on clean clothing. There is no cleaner clothing than good Middot and love for your fellow man. B’ezrat Hashem, we will have these traits, the Shechina will dwell upon us, and Hashem will look at us and give us the benefit of the doubt. Have a wonderful day.
We are now in the Aseret Yemei Teshuva / Ten Days of Repentance The Rambam tells us, in Hilchot Teshuva (chapter 2, halacha 6) that even though teshuva and crying out are “ יפה לעולם -always good, nice and pretty,” בעשרה הימים שבין ראש השנה ויום הכפורים היא יפה ביותר ומתקבלת היא מיד On the Aseret Yemei Teshuva, it’s extremely pretty and immediately accepted, as it says, דרשו ה' בהמצאו To search out to God when He’s to be found, and call out to Him. Rambam continues that most people don’t realize this, but there are two aspects to The ten days of Teshuva . One is to look for Him, and another is to call out to him when he is close. Rambam continues that this applies to the individual. As for the masses, we always have the power to do Teshuva and cry out to God with a full heart and be answered, as the pasuk says, כה ' אלהינו בכל קראנו אלי God is close to us whenever we call out to Him But an individual has a special power during these ten days. That being said, the Pele Yoetz (Rav Eliezer Papo, who was better known by the name of that Sefer), in one of the tefilot his sefer Bet Tefila, referred to his book Orot Elim , and wrote that the Gemarah tells us that anyone who is able to pray for compassion for his friend, and does not pray, is called a sinner . You have to pray for your friend. Furthermore, he writes, the Kohen Gadol was punished for this. Anyone that was exiled to the Ir Miklat/City of Refuge had to stay there until the Kohen Gadol died, because the Kohen Gadol should have prayed that the generation should not come to sin, and he didn’t. Therefore, the Pele Yoetz made this prayer, which includes all the possible needs of the entire community of Israel, that no trouble arise for them. He quotes the prayer, and says that one should say it, at the very least, during the Et Ratzon- the Auspicious Time of Aseret Yemei Teshuva . So he wrote a special prayer, to pray for the entire Jewish people, and it is to be said during the Aseret Yemei Teshuva It is therefore quite appropriate for those of us that are working on Ahavat Yisrael to say this prayer. It is interesting that he invokes the prayer of Kohen Gadol, for, as we said recently, when we pray on Rosh Hashanah, we are like the Kohen Gadol. So it seems, from the Pele Yoetz, that during the Aseret Yemei Teshuva, we are given the Kohen Gadol’s power to pray; but with that comes responsibilities: We have to pray for our friends and use our power; We cannot just pray for ourselves. The prayer is a long one and it can be said over seven days (so you can start today) or all in one sitting. Click on this link: https://www.dropbox.com/s/w0f6o2c7ld91voq/Peleh%20Yoetz%20for%20aseret%20yemeh%20teshuva.pdf?dl=0 Pray for the Jewish people, and fulfill Ve’ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha during the Aseret Yemei Teshuva.
This is our final class before Rosh Hashanah, so we will discuss the concept of Ve’ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/Love your friend like you love yourself as it specifically relates to Rosh Hashanah. Rav Yisrael Salantar tells us that when the shofar blows on Rosh Hashanah, we have to imagine that we are like the Kohen Gadol walking into the Holy of Holies. How so? The Gemarah tells us that the shofar must come from a ram or other kosher animal. It can not come from a cow or an ox, because that reminds God of the sin of the golden calf, and the defender can’t be the prosecutor or vice versa. But then the Gemarah explains that this rule only applies in the Holy of of Holies: When the Kohen Gadol went into the Holy of Holies on Yom Kippur, he would take off his golden clothing, because gold reminds God of the golden calf. However, outside of the Holy of Holies, he wore gold, even on Yom Kippur. When we blow the shofar on Rosh Hashanah, in Brooklyn or wherever we may be, we are not in the Holy of Holies, so why can’t we use the horn of an ox? The Gemara answers that Rosh Hashanah is different, and the shofar of Rosh Hashanah is different. Since it is L’Zicharon , for God to remember us , it is like we are inside the Holy of Holies . Therefore, Rabbi Yisrael Salantar says that while the shofar is blowing during the Musaf prayers, we should imagine that we are in the Holy of Holies, which was a scary moment. The Kohen Gadol had to be totally focused. If he had a wrong thought, or disconnected, there was a rope around his waist to pull him out….. Lo Alenu. There were some Kohen Gadols who paid their way in, who weren’t fit for the job, and they had to be pulled out by the rope. So, as Rav Salantar says, we go in like the Kohen Gadol, like everybody is counting on us. But what does this have to do with Ahavat Yisrael/loving our fellow Jew? The Sefer Bat Eyin, in Parashat Emor says that the reason that we have to say Ve’ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha before we pray is because our prayers correspond to the Korban Tamid , which was brought by the Kohen. The Kohen had the traits of hesed and kindness; Aharon HaKohen was the ultimate kind one. In order to be like a Kohen, and in order for your tefilot to go up like a Kohen offering a korban , you need the traits of a Kohen. On Rosh Hashanah, when the shofar blows, we are not just like a regular Kohen, but rather, like the Kohen Gadol, like Aharon HaKohen. At that point, we must be someone who follows in the way of Ahavat Yisrael, who loves people, and brings them closer to Torah. The more we act like the Kohen, the more our prayers will go up like the Kohen. B’ezrat Hashem , Hashem should answer all of our Tefilot . We should all have a wonderful Rosh Hashanah. Tizku L’Shanim Rabot
We continue with the theme that we need to act on, and accept the Mitzvah of Ve’ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/ Love your friend like you love yourself before we pray. The Hida says, in his sefer D’vash L’Fi, that the word אהבה Ahava/Love has a numerical value of 13, which is the same as אחד Echad/One When you love your friend, you create another 13. 13+13=26, which is the numerical value of Hashem’s Name of Mercy, (spelled Yud/Heh/Vav and Heh) So Ve’ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha , when you love your friend like you love yourself, you bring down Ani Hashem. Through the love of your friend, you bring down Hashem’s mercy, which, he says, sweetens the judgement. This is a powerful concept. Rosh Hashanah is Judgment Day, and we want to sweeten the judgment. How does that happen? It happens when you love your friend, and he loves you back. Kamocha has the same numerical value as Elokim (86), which Hashem’s Name of Justice So, he says, Ve’ahavta LeRe’echa— Kamocha If you love your friend, you can turn Hashem’s Name of Justice to Ani Hashem , His Name of Mercy. There is a story told of two childhood friends from Berlin. When the city was divided at the start of the Cold War, they were separated and could no longer see each other. The friend from East Berlin became a spy for West Berlin, and got caught. They were ready to hang him, but he begged, “ Please, let me go back and say goodbye to my family.” They didn’t trust that he would come back, so they insisted that he find a replacement, to guarantee his return. If he did not come back, the guarantor would die instead of him. Of course, when he asked his old childhood friend, the friend agreed. The date arrived that the spy was supposed to return for his hanging, but he was still not back. The clock was ticking closer to 12, the execution time, and sure enough, a horse came galloping back, and the man cried, “ Stop! I’m back! Don’t kill my friend! I’m here!” So they took the noose off of his friend, the guarantor, and began to put it on the spy. The king, who was watching, told them to stop the whole process. He called the two friends over, and told him how amazed he was at their friendship. He offered to pardon them both, on one condition: that they allow him in, as their third friend. He wanted to be part of that special friendship. So too, it says, Ve’ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha , when you love your friend like you love yourself, Hashem says, Ani Hashem- I want to join, and be the third partner. And when Hashem joins as the third partner, that brings blessing, that brings mercy, and that brings a sweetening of the judgment. B’ezrat Hashem, accepting this mitzvah will bring us sweetness on our judgment day.
Today we continue with the concept we mentioned yesterday, about the importance of accepting upon yourself the positive commitment of V’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/Loving your friend like you love yourself before you pray. Sefer Hasidim, written by one of the Rishonim , says (in chapter 553) that some people pray and are answered, whereas others pray and are not answered. Why? He says that it is because they don’t think about the pain and suffering of their friends. We should be thinking, “ If I was in trouble, I would want somebody to pray for me.” It says, V’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha , so if it doesn’t bother you that your friend is in pain, that is why you aren’t answered. That’s why all our prayers are said in plural form: “ Refaen u -Heal us ,”“ See, in our pain,” The pasuk says, “ If you have the trait of mercy, God will deal with you mercifully.” If not, if you don’t have mercy on your friend, then, in the words of the Sefer Hasidim, “ How is that person any different than an animal that doesn’t care about his friend’s pain?” This is a very scary concept. When a person prays, if he only prays for himself, those prayers are not accepted. That is what the Sefer Hasidim says, based on the pasuk of V’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. Therefore, every day, and surely on Rosh Hashanah, we should be thinking about every body. The Sefer Yeriot Shelomo, from Rav Shelomo Kluger adds a nuance to this. He says that we pray in Lashon Rabim/plural form , so if you don’t accept V’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha before you pray, then you are lying. Refaenu/Heal us ? Berechenu/ Bless us? Do we care about our friend’s business? It says in Tehilim (101,7) Hashem says, someone that lies, I cannot look at. So, Has veShalom , if a person is not thinking about the Jewish people when he prays, and doesn’t accept V’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha before he prays, how can he stand in front of God in prayer? This is yet another reason that we need to accept upon ourselves the Mitzvah of V’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha before we pray.
The Bet HaLevi, in his commentary on the Torah (Bereshit chapter 37) brings down the following pasuk from Yeshaya (chapter 57), בְּזַעֲקֵךְ יַצִּילֻךְ קִבּוּצַיִךְ When you call out to God, you will be saved by the fact that you are gathered. That pasuk is quoted right before the haftara of Yom Kippur,the next pasuk, which says, “ Remove the stumbling blocks from nation… etc” The Bet HaLevi says that we see from here that when we pray, our prayers are answered, not because of the number of people that we are, but rather because of the unity that we have. If we are all gathered together and focused on God, for one thing, which is to save the Jewish people or bring Mashiach, or anything else, that unity is our power. It’s not our numbers, but our unity. That is what brings the Yeshua / salvation . There is mashal is given about Rosh Hashanah: There was a town that caught fire. Each person ran, with his own bucket of water, to his own store, but it was not enough water to put the fire out. If everyone had taken their buckets and run to the source of the fire, working together as one unit, they could have put the fire out . The Bet HaLevi says that this is why it’s brought down that before you pray, you are supposed to think about, and accept the Mitzvah of V’Ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha, to unite with the Jewish people in prayer. That is the power of the Jewish people. There is a prayer found in many siddurim , (it’s in the Magen Abraham and Artscroll siddurim ) based on the Arizal, that is said at the beginning of our tefila הֲרֵ ינִי מְקַבֵּל עָלַי מִצְוַת עֲשֵֹה שֶׁל : וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ , וַהֲרֵינִי אוֹהֵב כָּל אֶחָד מִבְּנֵי יִשְֹרָאֵל כְּנַפְשִׁי וּמְאוֹדִי , וַהֲרֵינִי מְזַמֵּן אֶת פִּי לְהִתְפַּלֵּל לִפְנֵי מֶלֶךְ מַלְכֵי הַמְּלָכִים , הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא : I behold and accept upon myself the Mitzvah of Love your friend like you love yourself, and I love every Jewish person like my soul and like my money, and now I am ready to designate my mouth to pray in front of God, the King of kings, Hashem This is something you should say every single day, especially during this Rosh Hashanah season, u niting with the Jewish people in your prayers, and accepting upon ourselves the Mitzvah of Ve’ahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha . (If you would like a sticker of this prayer, to place inside your siddur, please send your address to rmsetton@aol.com) Have a wonderful day.
The following story was told over by Rav BenSion Felman, who was very close to the Chazon Ish. When he was still single, he had a grandmother that lived in his house, and she wasn’t well. The grandchildren set up a rotation system to visit her. For some reason, the grandmother had a special place in her heart for this boy and she asked him to come more often than the others in the rotation- twice a week, instead of once every two weeks. The boy was learning in Yeshiva at the time, and wasn’t sure if he should give up his learning time to visit his grandmother. As he often took walks with the Chazon Ish, he decided to ask him what to do. The Chazon Ish listened very carefully, and asked some questions to get some details about why she wanted him specifically, what was special about him, etc. Once he got the full picture, the Chazon Ish told him that he should spend as much time with his grandmother as she wanted. “ But what about Talmud Torah ,” the boy asked. The Chazon Ish replied, “ Not only are you fulfilling the mitzvah of hesed and bikur holim, you are also fulfilling the Mitzvah of Talmud Torah.” This was even harder for the boy to understand. How could he be learning if he was visiting his grandmother? The Chazon Ish said, “ Torah is a spiritual, high and lofty concept. We want the Torah to connect to us, yet we are physical beings. How can the spiritual Torah connect to a physical being?” The Chazon Ish explained that, “ The Torah only connects to a refined soul.” In order to merit that the Torah becomes part of you, you need a refined soul. That is the receptacle for the Torah. And that is how you connect to the Torah. How does one acquire this refined soul? It happens with hessed , by giving into others, and middot Tovot. W hen a person gives up of himself for others, as in this case when he was asked to give up his learning in order to visit his grandmother, that creates refinement of the soul, and that will cause the Torah to connect. He said that it doesn’t mean that you have to close your Gemarah to go looking for opportunities, but when an opportunity does come, you have to take advantage of it. “ Now that you have this opportunity, you should realize that every second you spend with your grandmother, give her medicine and involve yourself with her, you are creating refinement in your soul and that will cause the kedusha of the Torah to better connect to you. This is not just a fulfillment of the Mitzvah of hesed, but it is also fulfillment of the Mitzvah of Talmud Torah .” What a powerful lesson for all of us who want to be great learners, and yet sometimes feel that when we visit somebody, we are missing out on our learning. That is not the case. If anything, we are enhancing it. Have a wonderful day.
Today we will share a few stories about the Chafetz Chaim and how he viewed Hachnasat Orchim/ welcoming guests, as well as other Mitzvot between man and his fellow. A guest once came to the Chafetz Chaim (according to some opinions, this was Rav Zalman Sorotzkin who later became a Rosh Yeshiva in Telz). The Chafetz Chaim troubled himself to make sure his guest was comfortable, setting up his bed, etc. His guest offered to help make the bed, but the Chafetz Chaim would not allow it. He answered his guest by saying, “ If you saw me putting my Tefilin on in the morning, would you offer to help? Hachnasat Orchim is no different than the Mitzvah of tefilin. It’s my Mitzvah, and it’s not for you to help me.” In a similar situation, a man had once come into town late at night and needed a place to stay. He ended up in the Chafetz Chaim’s house, without realizing where he was. The Chafetz Chaim took care him as any good host would take care of a guest. The next morning, when he asked where the Chafetz Chaim was, the guest was shocked to learn that it was none other than his host! He tried to apologize, but the Chafetz Chaim responded, “ Am I patur/absolved from the Mitzvah of Hachnasat Orchim? It is a Mitzvah like any other Mitzvah.” Furthermore, when the Chafetz Chaim had guests in his house on Friday night, he would not sing the Pizmon of Shalom Alechem or Eshet Chayil . He went straight into Kiddush, and saved the pizmonim for during the meal. Once, the great Rav Yehuda Lev Chasman (who eventually became the Mashgiah of Chevron) was bothered by this, and asked why the Chafetz Chaim was skipping a song that all of the Jewish people sing? The Chafetz Chaim answered, “ The guests are hungry. It is hard for them to wait until I finish my song. The angels that I am singing the songs for are not hungry; they can wait. I would rather let the angels wait, and first feed my guests.” That is a great way of looking at things. Of course, we can’t just make changes on our own. The Chafetz Chaim had a special understanding, to the point that he was even concerned about the concept of taking a poor man into his house- He felt that it was like a vow of sorts, to feed him. And when you have the ability to fulfill a vow, it should not be pushed off. He actually hinted to this in his commentary in Shulchan Aruch, Or HaHayim (siman 639) when it discusses the laws of Sukkot and whether or not one should wait until Hatzot when it’s raining. He says that if there are guests, one should not wait, because the responsibility to feed the guests overrides this need. So we see from here that feeding guests, in the eyes of a great man, is not just feeding guests. It is a Mitzvah, and we have to treat it with all of the responsibilities that come with a Mitzvah.
This is a beautiful story that starts off a little sad, but has a happy ending. There was boy from Bnei Brak who, unfortunately, left the religion and moved in with an irreligious cousin somewhere else in Israel. Then things got worse, and he became engaged to a non-Jewish girl. Even his irreligious cousin was quite upset, but was unable to convince him to break up the engagement. However, he did convince him that since he would be cutting ties with the Jewish people and with his family, he should at least go home, and tell his parents what his plans were-face to face. He agreed and invited himself home for a Shabbat on "his terms." He spent Friday night smoking on the porch, and Shabbat day found him again on the porch, with his iPhone. His father approached him Shabbat afternoon, and invited him to join a shiur he was going to, given by Rav Aron Leib Shteinman ztz"l, who was the Gadol HaDor. Interestingly, the boy agreed to go. After the shiur , his father brought him over to Rav Shteinman, who could see that the young man was quite distanced from Torah. Rav Shteinman looked at him and asked, " How long have you not kept Shabbat?" The boy answered " Two years.” " And during that time, did you ever have a hirhur teshuva/ a feeling of teshuva?" " Yes ,” the boy answered, “ About four times. " " And how long did that feeling last each time ,” the Rabbi asked. " Approximately 10 minutes ." "Oh , so it comes out that for 40 minutes during the last 2 years, you were on the level of a Baal Teshuva/repenting person. And it says in the place where a Baal Teshuva stands, even a purely righteous person can’t stand. I am jealous of you. Shabbat Shalom." The boy went home, and returned to his cousin’s house, but Rav Shteinman's words left him no peace. How the Gadol had spoken him, respected him, and loved him! He broke off the engagement and returned to Torah and Mitzvot. His father later asked him what made him go to the class, after he had been smoking and playing with his iPhone the whole Shabbat. He replied that when he was in 4th grade, his class was tested by Rav Shteinman. The boys were asked very simple questions. Each boy, upon answering a question received a candy from Rav Aron Leib. When this boy's turn came, he did not know the answer to the question. So Rav Aron Leib asked him an easier question. Again, he did not know the answer. So the Gadol asked him an even easier question, which, again, he did not know. When the test was over, everyone except this boy had a candy beside him. As the boys were leaving the classroom, Rav Aron Leib motioned for him to come over. He told the boy, " In our religion, we reward for effort, not results. All the other boys put in an effort for one question, so they got one candy. You put in the effort for three questions, so you are getting 3 candies." And with a smile, he handed him 3 candies. And that is why, when his father invited him to go to that Rav's class, he went; Because of the respect and love that Rav Shteinman had shown him 20 years earlier. That is powerful. That is a Gadol BTorah . That is why they have such an impact. Have a wonderful day
We have been telling stories of Gedolim, in order to give ourselves a picture of what it means to have true Ahavat Yisrael. We shared some stories about Chacham Ben Sion Abba Shaul, who, for many years of his life, suffered from a stroke and other difficulties. He once shared with someone that the Yisurim he suffered were to help the Jewish people. We don’t know how many Gedolim accept suffering upon themselves, in order to help the Jewish people at large. The following story was told by a talmid (student) of the Chafetz Chaim. This talmid had a life- threatening, debilitating illness, for which the doctors had no cure. He made a trip to Radin to ask his Rebbe for a beracha. The Chafetz Chaim told him that he’d help him, on the condition that he would never tell anyone about it. The talmid readily agreed. The Chafetz Chaim instructed him to travel to a certain Rav who lived in a small, city and to tell him his situation. “ He’ll give you a bracha and with Hashem’s help you’ll get better .” The talmid went immediately to that Rav, and within a short period of time, recuperated from his illness. He continued to study for a while at the Radin Yeshiva and then moved away, married, established a family, and according to his Rebbe’s instructions, never told the story to anyone. More than twenty years later, his sister-in-law contracted a strange illness. He quickly realized that she was suffering from the same illness that had afflicted him, but, as per his Rebbe’s instructions, he didn’t say a word. His wife remembered that he had once told her that he had a certain illness but whenever she brought up the topic he became very elusive. She felt that he was holding back information which might save the life of her sister. After a tremendous amount of pressure from his wife and her family, he decided that enough time had passed and that he had already fulfilled the Chafetz Chaim’s instructions to not reveal the story. He told his wife all that had happened: How the Chafetz Chaim had sent him for a bracha from a certain Rav, who must’ve been a hidden Sadik, and how he had then recuperated. This gave the family some hope that maybe they could follow that route as well. A short time later, this man’s illness returned. Very shaken, he realized that he had broken his promise to the Chafetz Chaim. He traveled the long distance to Radin and came to the Chafetz Chaim, who was by then, old and weak. The Chafetz Chaim remembered the story from 20 years prior, and listened quietly to the latest turn of events. After a short silence the Chafetz Chaim spoke quietly and slowly. “ I’d love to help you again, but what can I do? The first time you were sick, I was still young and strong. I fasted 40 consecutive days in order that Hashem would send you a refuah. Now I’m too old to fast like that again.” Not only did the Chafetz Chaim suffer for 40 straight days to help a talmid , but he arranged the matter in such a way that it appeared that it was someone else’s bracha which helped! Why it had to kept secret, we don’t know, but that isn’t the point of the story. The point is to see how far great people go to help others. They will suffer for other people, and cover it up. There is a pasuk, that proves this point ( 35,13) about David HaMelech וַאֲנִי בַּחֲלוֹתָם לְבוּשִׁי שָׂק עִנֵּיתִי בַצּוֹם נַפְשִׁי וּתְפִלָּתִי עַל חֵיקִי תָשׁוּב And I, when they were sick, put on sackcloth. I fasted and pained myself. David HaMelech describes how even for his enemies, when he heard they were sick, fasted and pained himself, in order that they should get better. That’s a Gadol B’Yisrael.
Rav Yehezkiel Sithon, a Rosh Yeshiva from Eretz Yisrael who was very close to Hacham Ben Sion gave a eulogy for the Hacham, and discussed his tremendous love for the Jewish people, citing a Zohar that says, Yisrael (Jewish people), the Torah and Hashem are all one. Therefore, he said, if you love Hashem, you have to love His Torah, and if you love His Torah, you have to love the Jewish people. You can’t split the three. It is impossible to say, “ I love Hashem and I love his Torah, but I don’t love the Jewish people. ” He told a story about when he was a young rabbi in kollel, and had asked Hacham Ben Sion for some advice about renting an apartment. The next day, Hacham Ben Sion told him that he had gone to a certain lawyer to ask about it, and told him what to do. This was Gadol HaDor, who troubled himself to go to a lawyer, to clarify something for a young kollel rabbi. There is a similar story with Rav Shach. A young kollel rabbi had asked him about whether he should move to a certain neighborhood, because he wasn’t sure if that area was religious enough for his family. Rav Shach said he wasn’t sure, and told him to come back the next day. When the young rabbi came back, Rav Shach told him that he had done the research, and that it was okay to move to the area. The man went down to building, and someone told him how interesting it was, that they had seen Rav Shach walking around the neighborhood the day before! The young rabbi realized that Rav Shach wasn’t sure if the neighborhood was suitable , so before advising, he himself went to see the area, and walk the streets to see if it was the proper place for him. That is yet another example of what great people do. There are endless stories like this, of Gedolim. We too, can become great people. We become great people by looking out for what we can do for smaller people. This is always important, but especially in the month of Elul. The Chazon Ish once said that if you want to learn a sefer Musar, read stories about Gedolim. The great Rav Moshe Feinstein, the Gadol HaDor, was once seen during the high holiday season, reading a sefer called Meorot HaGedolim, a book of stories about great rabbis of Musar. That was his musar- to read this book. He was the Gadol HaDor, but going back, in previous generations they were even greater. So reading stories about Gedolim is wonderful Musar, and that is what we are trying to do now, to strengthen our Avahat Yisrael.
We’ve been discussing the connection between Ahavat Yisrael and the high holidays. Hacham Ben Sion Abba Shaul once said that we use the words Veahavta et Hashem Elokecha-Love Hashem your God And Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha-Love your friend like you love yourself, but if a person doesn’t have Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha, he can’t have Ahavat Hashem . He can’t love Hashem. They are connected. Hacham Ben Sion had a great level of both. After his first stroke, his brother was in the hospital with him. The nurse instructed the brother to watch the monitor, that the numbers shouldn’t go too high or too low. Hacham Ben Sion was praying. When he started Keriat Shema and said the words Veahavta et Hashem Elokecha , his numbers went up, and his brother ran to get the nurse. When he came back, the numbers were normal. His brother then realized that when Hacham Ben Sion said the words , Veahavta et Hashem Elokecha bechol Levavcha- Love Hashem with all your heart, he literally loved Hashem with all his heart, causing his heart rate to go up. It then went back to normal. And regarding his Ahavat Yisrael, Rabbi Yitzhak Zakai tells the following story, that he heard from the person it happened to. This man’s wife could not handle the children she had, and she was pregnant, so wanted to end the pregnancy, Rachmana Latzlan. When Hacham Ben Sion heard about this, he asked the man to bring his wife to him. When Hacham Ben Sion spoke to her, she told him that she couldn’t manage raising another child. So Hacham Ben Sion told her that he’d pay her a very large amount of money to give birth as a surrogate mother, and that he’d raise the child until he/she was ready to get married. He would then invite her to the chuppah as the mother, and that way, she’d have the child without any of the pain. When the woman saw how much he wanted to have this child in the world, she realized that she wanted it to be her own child, and she changed her mind. That is a love for every person, for every child, and for every child that isn’t even born yet. That is Ahavat Yisrael, and as we have said, that is what all the Gedolim have. That is what makes them great.
We have been sharing stories of Gedolim , to show that Avahat Yisrael is the defining factor of an Adam Gadol. Rav Wolbe’s definition of an Adam Gadol/ a Great Man is, in the name of his teacher Rav Yerucham Levovitz, somebody who can influence others, like the sun can influence the moon, that is smaller. Hacham Ben Zion Abba Shaul was my Rabbi, Baruch Hashem. For close to 13 years, when I lived in Israel, I was zoche to hear Divre Torah from him. He once said, “I don’t even know how a person can dislike another Jew. When I see a Jew praying in shul or learning Torah, I am filled with love for him, to the point that I want to kiss him.” He loved everybody. I still remember that in the Ohel Rachel Bet Knesset, in the Bucharian section in Yerushalayim, where we prayed on Shabbat and on holidays, little children would line up to kiss his hand, for a long period of time. He’d just smile. He loved little children. He loved giving every one of them a blessing. He said it was a shame that people didn’t realize how beautiful little children were and give them the proper love. At the end of his life, after he had a stroke and it was difficult for him to walk ( he had to drag his leg, as part of his body was paralyzed- later on he needed a wheelchair), on his way home from shul, hundreds of people would flock behind him after his shiur to ask him questions. Eventually he’d get tired. At one point he was too tired and said, “No more questions. I am too tired for questions.” Another man came over and said, “ I don’t have a question, I just want a beracha.” The rabbi answered that he didn’t even have strength to give a beracha, but he gave him a short blessing. One of the people walking next to him overheard this, and said to the rabbi in jest, “ Just give me a beracha that I should be able to give people blessings instead of you. That way you won’t be tired.” The rabbi answered, “ The first thing you need to do is work on yourself to have true Ahavat Israel. And then, even without my blessings, you can be sure that your blessings will work.” On another occasion, someone asked him why his blessings were so powerful. He answered, “ If you had Ahavat Yisrael like me, your blessings would work as well.” I once heard an explanation thar a person is like a pipe. If you take for yourself, you clog the pipe, but if you aren’t taking for yourself the pipe is open. Of Rav Hanina Ben Dosa, it is said, כל העולם כלו נזון בשביל חנינא בני וחנינא בני די לו בקב חרובין מע " ש לע " ש Simply this means, “The whole world gets their food because of Hanina, My son.And my son Hanina survives from week to week on one box of carob . He had no food. The Ben Ish Chai said that the word used here for “ because ” בשביל /Bishvil” c an also mean “ path. ” Rav Hanina Ben Dosa was the path . Through him, all the the blessings came down, because he didn’t take anything for himself. He was a proper pipe. If you want to be a pipe to bring blessings to the Jewish people, you have to love them. That’s the power of Gedolei Yisrael.
In 1940, Russia annexed Lithuania. Everyone was terrified. As we mentioned, Rav Chaim Ozer was the Gadol HaDor at the time. All the hard work, of his entire life, was about to be destroyed and crumble around him. Yet he kept his morale strong and raised the spirits of those around him. As we mentioned earlier, towards the end of his life, just as the war was starting, he was very sick. In Vilna, there were printing shops that were printing false visas. He was asked whether they should print one for him. He said, “ All I ask for is a visa to remain in this lowly world.” What he meant was that he wanted to stay alive long enough to help all the people that were depending on him. He wanted a visa just to live in this world; he wasn’t even thinking about getting out of war torn Europe. As we get ready for Rosh Hashanah, that is supposed to be our attitude. What do I want? I want a visa. Not a visa to get into Israel now because of corona, but a visa to stay another year in this world. Why? In order to be able to help people that need me. That is the attitude of great people, people that have Ahavat Yisrael. Rav Wolbe writes, in is Sefer Alei Shur, vol 2, that the Heshbon HaNefesh, the accounting that a person should make before Rosh Hashanah, is that one should clarify to himself, בשביל מה הוא חי What does he want to live for? A person should go down deep into his feelings about the future. Do you want to be here to enjoy yourself? Is that the goal of your life? Or is the goal in life to be a little spark of bringing respect to Hashem, using all of your abilities for the Jewish people? As much as you build yourself, you realize that your talents and abilities are not just for yourself. Your talents and abilities are for the Jewish people at large. I heard Rav Wolbe say, many times, that a boy who is 18 years old and learning in yeshiva has to know that he is learning for the Jewish people. Eventually, he will give back to the Jewish people. And he has to know that when he is 18. He can’t wake up when he’s 30 and say, “ Hey, it’s time for me to give back. ” This has to be a person’s thoughts all of the time, but especially during the high holiday season. Rav Wolbe says, “ How much does a person have to lift himself up on Rosh Hashanah, to put aside his personal thoughts, and connect himself to the Jewish people at large.” That is what we want our visa for. To spend more time in this world, to be able to help others.
The Pasuk in Megillat Esther says, וּמִשְׁלוֹחַ מָנוֹת אִישׁ לְרֵעֵהוּ On Purim we send portions, man to his friends וּמַתָּנ֖וֹת לָֽאֶבְיוֹנִֽים and gifts to the poor The rabbis find a hint in this, to the month of Elul - א יש ל רעהו ו מתנות ל אביונים - אלול The first letter of each word spells out Elul . The Chayeh Adam says that it’s a hint to us that, during the month of Elul, we should give gifts to the poor, and even give little gifts to our friends. The lesson is that in the month of Elul , which is the last month of the year, we are supposed to be creating friendship and warmth, like we do in the month of Adar (which is also the last month of the year, when starting from Nissan ). This is because creating unity among the Jewish people arouses Hashem’s mercy. We have another story about Rav Chaim Ozer Grodzensky, the Gadol HaDor, a giant in understanding what it means to do hessed . He was such a genius, that people witnessed that he was able to talk to people, while simultaneously writing two responsas, one with his right hand and one with his left hand. He was a giant of giants, a genius of geniuses. He said that when he was younger, he thought that the greatest thing was to write a sefer of Hiddushei Torah . He thought that was what he would bring to Olam Habah. But as he got older, he realized that that greatest thing he had was his charity book, where he recorded all the money given to widows and orphans. He understood the greatness of giving to people. In the last months of his life, a delegation came to him about a certain matter. Rabbi Chaim Ozer was sick and in need of medicine. A member of the delegation, who was returning to America, asked the Gadol if there was anything that he personally could do for the rabbi, after taking care of the needs of the community. The Rabbi thanked him for his kindness, and said that yes, there was actually something he could do: “ There is a widow that works in my house, she helps clean up. She has very wide feet. The correct size shoe for her is not available in our little town. Maybe you could send her a pair of shoes. I would really appreciate that. That is what you can do for me.” And then the Rav added, almost parenthetically, some medicine that he needed. That’s what, “ Doing something personal, ” meant for the Gadol . Personal meant, “ Take care of my housekeeper.” That is the way an Adam Gadol looks at life. Have a wonderful day.
There is a halacha in Shulchan Aruch ( siman רמז ) in Yoreh Deah, Laws of Charity: כל המרחם על העניים הקב " ה מרחם עליו Whoever has mercy on the poor, God has mercy on them. That’s important. We are in the month of Elul , which, when announced in Sephardic communities as a new month, is called “ Elul Rachamim/ Elul Mercy.” This is the month of mercy . If we want to arouse God’s mercy, we need to have mercy on others. The Rama adds, “ A person should place to his heart that just like he asks Hashem for his parnassa, and wants Hashem to listen to him, so too, he should listen to the cry of the poor.” With the outbreak of World War 2, Rav Chaim Ozer Grodzensky, who we will call the Chief Rabbi of the Jewish people, instructed his student, Rav Eliezer Silver (there is a whole book written about him) to establish the Vaad Hatzalah, an organization established to offer relief to the Jewish people of Europe, who, at the time, were under fire. Rav Silver told him that he would be more successful in his efforts if he had someone who could describe, in writing, the work of the Vaad Hatzalah. He chose Dr. Samuel Schmidt, who was originally from Kovno, Europe, but had gone to America and graduated MIT. He was an irreligious socialist, but he was devoted to Rabbi Silver and agreed to travel to Europe to see, first hand, the work of the Vaad Hatzalah. At that point, Rav Chaim Ozer was in his final illness. When Dr. Schmidt came to see him, Rav Chaim placed his hand on Dr Schmidt’s shoulder in a gesture of warmth and respect, and greeted him as “ Reb Shmuel.” This irreligious Dr. Samuel, who was not eating kosher or keeping Shabbat, responded, “ Rabbi, if only you knew who I was, you wouldn’t call me Reb Shmuel.” Rav Chaim Ozer countered, “ If you could leave your family, and the security of America, to travel to war torn Europe, you are indeed Rav Shmuel!” At that point, a metamorphosis occurred. Dr. Schmidt became Reb Shmuel. He became a fully observant Jew, just from that warmth of this Gadol HaDor, and the respect he had for what the doctor was doing for the Jewish people. Before the doctor return to America, he received a message that Rav Chaim Ozer wanted to see him. When he arrived, the Gadol HaDor gave him a letter to take back to the United States. He thought it must a very important letter, but when he was on the boat, he noticed that it was addressed to his wife. The leader of European Jewry had taken the time to thank her, for allowing her husband to leave the tranquility of America to travel to war torn Europe and execute a mission on behalf of the Jewish people. That is how a Gadol looks at things, and that is how we should look at things. It is about having mercy, and going out of your comfort zone, for others.
We are getting ready for the high holidays, and coming to realize how important Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/Love your friend like you love yourself is to our high holiday preparations. A dear friend of mine, whom I respect very much, told me that he enjoys stories. So, in keeping with our theme of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha, I will to make him happy, by telling two more stories. During World War 2, the great Rav Yitzhak Soloveitchik, also known as the Brisker Rav, had to flee from Brisk to Vilna, and in the process he and his wife became separated. While in Vilna, the Gadol HaDor, the great Rav Chaim Ozer Grodzensky passed away. The Rav, and everyone in the household, wanted to go to the funeral of the Gadol Hador, but one of his younger daughters was sick, and couldn’t be left alone. No one wanted to stay behind and miss the funeral, so he told him the following story, which had happened to his grandfather, the Bet HaLevi: He was on his way to the synagogue on Erev Yom Kippur and overheard an argument going on in a house on the way. He went to see what was going on, and discovered that one of the children was sick. Someone had to be there with the child, but there was an argument about who would miss going to shul on the night of Yom Kippur. No one wanted to miss Kal Nidre. The Bet HaLevi told them, “ You should know that the one who stays behind with a sick person will be blessed with a better year than the person that goes to shul to create a good year for himself.” That is a very powerful story. The second story is about Rav Meir Simcha HaKohen, known as the Meshech Hochma, the Or Someach, the great rabbi of Dvinsk. At the end of his life, he was sick and on his deathbed. A certain great Rabbi wanted to send telegrams to shuls all over the Jewish world, asking them to say Tehillim for the great Rav, but he refused. He said that by singling him out and making him a special person, there might be more demands placed on him. He would rather remain part of the Jewish people, with a low profile, as it says in the Zohar about the Isha Shunamit, who was asked by Elisha on Rosh Hashanah whether he could do anything for her, or if he could speak to the King (Hashem) on her behalf. She answered, “ בתוך עמי אנכי יושבת I dwell amongst my people ” That is the safest place to be. But you can only get there with Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. Our mindset should be: I don’t want to stand out, I don’t want to be high profile, I just want to be a simple Jew, a part of the Jewish people. I care about them, and I care about their success. Have a wonderful day.
This past week, we talked about the importance of working on our love for our fellow man, especially in the month of Elul , in order to prepare for Rosh Hashanah. The first week of Elul was dedicated to pushing this point. In the Gemarah that discusses the judgment of Rosh Hashanah , it says that, on one hand, everybody goes in front of God individually . But then it says that everybody is looked at in one large view. How do those two statements coincide with each other? Rav Yisrael Salanter explains as follows: A person is judged as an individual. He is judged individually on how much he impacts the Jewish people at large . Therefore, Rav Salanter says that the only advice he has for a person to be successful in his judgment is, in his words, “ Be a man that everybody needs. ” Be somebody that is necessary. Be somebody that is part of the Jewish people. What does that mean? Simply it means, as in the mashal that my father-in-law, Rabbi Scherman, once gave, a secretary should make sure that when she runs the office, she has a very specialized system, in which only she knows how the records are kept. In this way, she becomes indispensable. If they dispose of her, then nobody knows how to figure anything out. So too, a person has to be indispensable to Hashem. It shouldn’t be that a person is here just to enjoy life. Rather, he should be necessary . That there is a good reason to keep him here. This is what we say in our prayers in the Amida , when we say, “ For Your sake, God.” We tell God that we want to be here because “ the company” needs us. Then, for everything that we do, we charge it to the company account. This is advice on how to merit in our judgment. Rav Wolbe, in his Sefer Alei Shur ( volume 2), explains what “ Be a man that everybody needs, ” means : It means that you aren’t an egoist. You don’t live your life only for yourself. You are involved in hessed . You tolerate others. You love others. And this doesn’t just mean that you are involved outwardly, but rather, that you are carrying the yoke of your friend. As we mentioned previously about Rav Shach, you cry when people are in pain. That is what it means to be a man that everyone needs. Of course, if Hashem put you in a leadership position, then even more so. But it has nothing to do with what your position is. You can be a housewife, and if, when you hear about a problem, it bothers you, that means that you are part of the Jewish people. Rav Abraham Kalmanowitz says that you know you are a part of the Jewish people when you hear of a problem and it causes you to toss and turn, and you can’t go back to sleep. When you immediately want to know what you can do for them, that is what it means to be part of the Jewish people. We have to work on that for the next three weeks, as we get ready for Rosh Hashanah.
If you have received this lesson, you are part of a group of people striving to become better and closer to Hashem. Yet sometimes we miss the mark. We get very concerned with our own spiritual growth and development, which is good, but we can sometimes be a little off. Rav Nosson Wachtfogel, the Mashgiach of Lakewood, brought down, in his sefer on Elul (page 14) that there was a once young rabbi who complained to him, “Ani/ I am not learning enough .. Ani/I am not praying well… Ani/ I don’t remember what I learn.. Ani/ I am not successful at all..” To which, Rav Wachtfogel responded, “ My advice to you is to stop thinking about yourself. Start thinking about the Jewish people. Stop being so involved with yourself. Here you are, getting ready for Rosh Hashanah, standing in front of the Creator of the world, surrounded by the Jewish people, an entire nation. And all that you are thinking about all day is yourself?” So they asked the rabbi how to disconnect from Ahavat Atzmo/love of yourself. His answer was to get involved with the sibbur/ the people , and think about them. He said that when a person starts doing for the people, and thinking about them, he starts becoming part of the sibbur . That is the job of Rosh Hashanah. On Rosh Hashanah, we are totally involved in our prayers about God ‘s kingdom. We are praying for God to be known by the whole world. Therefore, he says, you have to be able to forget about yourself. It is very hard. Our love for ourselves is the most powerful love, as we have discussed previously. The only way to break out of it is by doing for others, making the “ you ” a little bit bigger. He says that the reason why we do not mention sin on Rosh Hashanah is because it is two days that we disconnect from ourselves. We are not talking about our lacking’s, or our stumbling’s. We aren’t talking about our needs. We are just thinking about God and the Jewish people at large. This is not easy, and we can’t fool ourselves, but at least we have to know what the goal is. Even if you can’t do anything to help, there is a valuable lesson to learn from a story about Rav Shach, the Gadol HaDor of the previous generation. Toward the end of his years, in one of his last meetings, he called in the Rav of Natanya, Rabbi Yisroel Meir Lau (who later became the Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi of Israel). He took Rabbi Lau’s hand in his and started to cry. “ I heard, ” said Rabbi Shach, “ that there are forty stores that sell pig meat in Natanya; that there is a problem in Ashkelon with chillul Shabbos; that they want to institute secular reforms in Tel Aviv. “I’m over one hundred years old, I have no strength, and people are not listening to me. The only thing I have left is the ability to cry.” Rabbi Shach continued crying for a few more minutes. And then, while crying for Klal Yisrael, he slipped into an exhausted sleep. That is a Gadol B’Yisrael. He is not thinking about himself. He is always thinking about what he can do, and if he can’t do anything for the Jewish people, he can at least cry for them.
Stories about Gedolim are important. They show us, in real life, how important it is to live your life for others, especially in the high-holiday season, when people sometimes get a little too focused on themselves. The following is a story that Rav Shach told over in his sefer Shimusha shel Torah : Rav Chaim Ozer Grodzensky was the Gadol HaDor in prewar Europe. He suffered from a certain medical condition for which he had to go to Karlsbad, Czechoslovakia far away from his hometown of Vilna. He had to spend a certain amount of time there, including the high holiday season, which he was not accustomed to. He had always spent the high holidays in his own shul, in a very high and lofty atmosphere. He was broken and upset to have to be away during this time. He wondered what he had done wrong and why Hashem had sent him there. Why was it decreed upon him to be so far away from the beautiful center of Torah that he was used to? He felt distanced from the feelings of Elul in the streets of Pre-war Lithuania. Then during Mincha of Shabbat Shuva , a new man entered the Karlsbad synagogue. Being the kind rabbi that he was, Rav Chaim Ozer approached the man, welcomed him, and asked where he was from and what had brought him there. The man said that he was from America and on his way to Petersburg, where his young brother had passed away and left behind a young widow with young children. His friends had advised that he marry the wife of his newly deceased brother, rather than let her marry a stranger, so that the children could be raised by him, and not a stepfather. He was on his way to meet her and planned on marrying her shortly after the holidays. As we know, a man is not permitted to marry his brother’s wife unless the brother has passed away without children - that’s called Yibum . But if the brother did have children, as in this case, it is considered a forbidden union, no different than marrying one’s sister, and punishable by death. When Rav Chaim Ozer heard the man’s plan, he shivered. He told the man he wasn’t allowed to marry her, but the man was not swayed. The rabbi explained and said, “ You think this is just a chumra/ strictness like chalav Yisrael? Open the Humash.” But still, the man was not impressed. He replied that his mother, who was from Europe had told him that there is only one great rabbi- the Chief Rabbi of Vilna- Rabbi Grodzensky! “ If he tells me I can’t marry her, then I won’t.” Sure enough, Rav Chaim Ozer stood up and said, “ You are speaking to him. I am the chief Rabbi of Vilna. I am Rabbi Grodzensky.” Rabbi Chaim Ozer then understood why he had to spend his high holidays in Karlsbad- it was to save this man. Rav Shach continues, “ Look what Hashem will do to save someone from a sin. He will send the Gadol HaDor away during the high holiday season, away from his congregation, away from the environment that he is used to, cause him all this heartache, and even cause him the illness that made him go to this retreat, just to save one Jew from sinning. That is how much Hashem does not want us to sin. That is how Gedolei Yisrael look at living for others. Have a wonderful day.
Today we will continue quoting from the sign that hung on the front door of the Yeshiva of Kelm throughout the month of Elul. Yesterday we discussed that the foundation of Rosh Hashanah is that Hashem is King, and that a kingdom can only work if the subjects are united. Therefore we, in the kingdom of God, must be united. Unity is not just external, but rather it starts in the heart, specifically, with the Mitzvah Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/loving your fellow Jew like you love yourself. Therefore, during the month of Elul , and during the entire year, we must commit ourselves to this. We can’t come on Rosh Hashanah and declare Hashem the king while we are not working on our friendship and unity with our comrades. This must be a year-long job. Therefore, going into Rosh Hashanah, we have to commit ourselves to this. It’s nice that we, in this group, have been working on this concept, so we can re-commit ourselves to Ahavat Yisrael. He says that, if heaven forbid, a person does not have a clean heart, how can he go into Rosh Hashanah? A person might think that this is too hard. They might wonder how they can do this. But he says that slowly but surely, we will change. We should consider that by committing ourselves to this, we are doing teshuva . He adds, “ Who can fathom the merit for yourself, and for the entire world, if there is a group of people working on loving their fellow Jew?” How do you work on this? By thinking thoughts about loving your fellow Jew. He says we should specifically work on the Sefer Tomar Devorah (B’ezrat Hashem, we will get to that sometime this year). Having this idea in our minds for the entire month of Elul , and for the upcoming year, is a merit for a kativa and Hatima tova (to be written and signed for a good year ) amongst all the Jewish people. This is a very powerful point, which this great leader felt was important enough to post on the front door of his Bet Midrash. He adds that it is a good idea to pick a spot in your prayers, where every day during the month, you can think of this concept. His recommendation is at the point right before the Amida , when we say שִׁירָה חֲדָשָׁה שִׁבְּ֒חוּ גְאוּלִים לְשִׁמְךָ עַל־שְׂפַת הַיָּם יַֽחַד כֻּלָּם הוֹדוּ וְהִמְלִֽיכוּ וְאָמְ֒רוּ S hirat Hadasha A new song… those that are redeemed sang to Your great Name, on the edge of the sea, יחד Yachad , Together , they all praised You and coronated You and said, ה ׳ ימלך לעולם ועד Hashem will be King forever When you say these words every morning, at the word “ Yachad ” Think to yourself First I need “Yachad/ unity, And then - וְהִמְלִֽיכוּ Himlichu, we can make Hashem King If we do this for the next 30 days, every single morning, Yachad , then Himlichu , that will drill into our heads the importance of achdut/unity for Hashem’s kingdom. Have a wonderful day.
We are now in the month of Elul. In PreWar Europe, there was a great Yeshiva, the Yeshiva of Kelm, which was led by the great Rabbi, Rav Simcha Zissel Ziv, also known as the Elder of Kelm. He was one of the foremost students of the father of the Mussar movement, Rav Yisrael Salanter. Many great rabbis came from his Yeshiva. Rav Aharon Kotler, Rav Yerucham Levovitz, the Michtav M’Eliyahu, Rav Dessler, Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian… all of them and many other rabbis of the Mussar world came from the Slobodka Yeshiva, which had its origins in the Yeshiva of Kelm. And on the front door of the Kelm Bet Midrash, for the entire month of Elul, a sign was hung, with two words at the top הערה נוראה An Awesome Awakening And the message of the sign was the following: The main focus of Rosh Hashanah is making Hashem King . When we look into the world of flesh and blood, ( we see that ) the kingdoms of humans can only function if there is unity among the ranks. Civil war, a divided cabinet or an inability to create a government can result in anarchy. Furthermore, we are supposed to use physical kings and kingdoms in order to learn about the kingdom of Hashem. That is why Hashem made physical kings- as a mashal for His kingdom. Thirdly, on Rosh Hashanah, Hashem wants us to anoint Him as King; to accept Him as King over us. But we can only do that if we have unity. One of the pesukim that we read on Rosh Hashanah says, “God will be King over the Jewish people when when the leaders are united.“ But God doesn’t just want external unity. He wants internal unity. That requires us to accept this upon ourselves, as he writes, “It is a responsibility to work the entire year on the positive commandment of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/loving your friend like you love yourself.” And by working on the Mitzvah of loving your friend like you love yourself, we will have unity and be able to crown Hashem as King. And if, God forbid, we have hate in our hearts for anybody, how then can we not be embarrassed to say that we want Him to be King over the world; if we ourselves are uprooting our kingdom with our actions? Therefore , he says, we must dedicate ourselves to loving our fellow Jew, all year long, but especially during Elul.”
Today I’d like to share with you a story about the Chafetz Chaim, and a personal story as well. Very often, stories help get the message across. Once, on Erev Rosh Hashanah, a group of men from a small town near Radin, where the Chafetz Chaim lived, went to ask him a question. They didn’t have rabbi all year round, but there was a Bachur/a young boy in the Yeshiva who was a good orator, and they wanted him to come to their town to give the derasha/sermon before the shofar was blown. As much as they tried to convince this boy to come, he refused. Although he was not wealthy, he declined all their offers of a high salary. How could he not be in the shadow of the Chafetz Chaim during the high holidays, he wondered. The men wanted the Chafetz Chaim to convince to the boy. The Chafetz Chaim called the boy in, and asked him why he wasn’t going. He asked, “ How can I leave the Yeshiva, and my great Rabbi during these high, holy days?” In his sweet voice, the Chafetz Chaim replied, “ You have to remember that a person was not created for himself. A person was created to help his fellow.” Obviously, after he heard that, the boy changed his mind, and took the job. This is an important concept. We always have to weigh these things. On one hand, we want to be good Jews doing the right thing. But on the other hand, we have to deal with the people around us. About thirty years ago, when I lived in Israel, there was a rabbi, Rabbi Schuster, who would find unaffiliated people at the Kotel, and send them to religious homes for Shabbat meals (as detailed in the book, A Tap on the Shoulder ) . We were on his list. We were about a 10 minute walk from the Kotel, and people would come to our house on Friday nights, to have a nice, Jewish meal. These were irreligious Jews, with no background. We would speak to them about their interests, and maybe say a dvar Torah or two, but it was not a high level of holy conversation. They once wanted to send us some guests for Rosh Hashanah. Now, Rosh Hashanah is the high holidays, when you want to be a little more somber and serious. I didn’t know what to do. On one hand I wanted to have the guests, but on the other hand, it was the high holidays and I wanted to be more serious. I went to ask Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, who was a Gadol b’Yisrael. He told me that if they wanted to come for two full days, and as a result, we wouldn’t be able to spend any time on Rosh Hashanah being serious, he could understand saying no. But, he said, we’d have our time in shul, when we could give it our all, so why not give to somebody else during the meal time? That was how he looked at it. I was young, and probably immature, and it was an important lesson. You have to weigh these things. Even if it’s the high holidays, if grandma wants to talk to you for an hour, that’s also important. Have a wonderful day.
Yesterday, we quoted from Rav Baruch Ber Leibowitz, the Rosh Yeshiva of Kaminetz, regarding the concept of broadening yourself as a way to get to Ahavat Israel/ loving your fellow Jew. Love yourself, when your self is much bigger. Rav Boruch Ber, this great rabbi, who was a giant in Torah and Yirat Shamayim, said that when the time comes for him to stand before the Heavenly Court, and they ask him how he thinks he will get into Olam Haba, if he answers that it’s with his Torah, they will question his level, for he felt minuscule in comparison to levels of previous generations. If he’d answer that it was with his Yirat Shamayim/fear of heaven, he felt, again, that in comparison to previous generations, he’d fall short. But, he said, there was one area in which he would be able to give himself merit: that he loved all Jews. He said, “ Whenever I walked in the street and saw a Jewish person coming toward me, I thought to myself, “A blessing on his head.“ So this great Rabbi, in his humility, felt that he wouldn’t know if his Torah would count, and he wouldn’t know if his Yirah would count. But he knew that he had his Ahavat Yisrael. This is what great people worked on, and that was the secret to their success. The Ponovizher Rav was a giant in his time. He started the Ponovizh Yeshiva in Eretz Yisrael, named after the town in Europe where he lived, which was wiped out during World War II. He was a student of the Chafetz Chaim, but o riginally, he learned in the Novardok Yeshiva. One day, on his way back to yeshiva, he decided to take a detour to go visit the Chafetz Chaim. When he came to the house, the Chafetz Chaim’s wife told him to wait, because the Rabbi was busy. Suddenly, he heard frightening cries. The Chafetz Chaim’s wife told him not to be afraid- that her husband had been praying for someone. He assumed it was a very ill, very close family member that the Chafetz Chaim had been praying for. But the wife said that it wasn’t. It was a local lady who was going through a difficult labor. When Rav Kahaneman saw how deeply the Chafetz Chaim felt the pain of a stranger (who was a fellow Jew), he decided that the Chafetz Chaim had to be his rabbi, and he became his student. That is the greatness of all the Gedolim . Rav Wolbe quoted Rav Yerucham Levovitz as saying that a Gadol, a great man, is someone who gives to Ketanim/small ones. The sun is called the great luminary, and the moon is called the small luminary, because the moon receives from the sun. That is what great people are. Great people care about smaller people. And the more they care, the greater they are.
Yesterday we quoted from the Michtav M’Eliyahu, that we love people that we give to, because we love ourselves. When we give to somebody, that somebody becomes an extension of ourselves. This may sound a little selfish. Here is another eye-opening concept, which complements this point: The sefer Bircat Shemuel, by the great prewar Rosh Yeshiva of Kaminetz, Rav Baruch Ber Lebowitz, says that even though Ahavat Atzmo/ loving yourself ( which seems selfish) is the source of sin and all evil in the world (because it’s not a good trait) yet we see that God put into us this concept of Ahavat Atzmo loving ourselves. So obviously God wants it, if that is our nature. It’s the most basic nature. If there was a danger in the room, you would run out because you’d want to protect yourself. This is the most basic instinct of a human being. So how do we use it in a positive way ? The answer is, we need to define what is Atzmo ? Who are You ? You love yourself, but what or who is included in you ? For one person, it is just him, limited to his body and his materialistic self. Another person’s “self” might include his soul. That’s better than a self that just includes the body. But another person’s self includes his family, and his relatives. His love for himself encompasses his family. Then, for a person that is really great, his self includes the Jewish people. He views himself as a limb of the larger body. Rav Baruch Ber says that there is an even higher level, when the person’s self encompasses the entire universe, and he is just a little spark of the universe, bringing glory to God‘s name. This, he says, is how we can understand why God put into us the trait of loving ourselves. You can’t change it. You can’t say that you don’t love yourself. But what you can do is extend your self. What are you? Broaden your self; make your self larger. How can you do that? By giving. The more you give, the bigger your self becomes. That is the secret. And giving does not only mean physical giving. I once heard from Rav Wolbe, that when a young man is learning Torah, he should be thinking that he is learning for the Jewish people, not just for himself. He should be thinking that he is learning in order to bring beracha to the world. With every mitzvah that you do, and every thing that you do, you should think about what you are giving to the world. It says that the whole world stands on a person that learns Torah. If there would be no learning, for even a split second, the world would cease to exist. When a person’s attitude is such, then his self is bigger. When his self is bigger, his love of himself includes much more than just him. This is a very, very deep concept. Hopefully, this brief essay explained it clearly. Have a wonderful day.
Yesterday we quoted the Orchot Sadikim , who told us that if you want to love your friend, act in ways of love, by taking care of him, doing for him, etc. In his sefer Michtav M’Eliyahu , the famous Baal Mussar Rav Eliyahu Dessler writes that love comes from giving. A person loves himself, and he loves his own handwork. As the Gemarah says, a person would rather have one apple that he grew, than nine that he gets from somebody else. A person’s essence is in whatever he does, and therefore, when you put your efforts into something, you love that thing. He says that it’s a mistake to think that you love people, and therefore, you give to them. Actually, you love them because you give to them. When you give to them, and put into them, they are you. That is why this is the way to loving people. Rav Dessler writes that he saw this in action. He lived through World War II, and witnessed a family get separated, with the two-year-old child going off with the father while the mother remained alone. For six years, the father raised the child, without the mother. The mother missed her child and had tremendous yearning for him. When the war ended and peace returned, the family reunited. Rav Dessler writes, “ Behold, there was a wonder. They could not fix the years that passed. The love that the father had for the son was much deeper than the love of the mother.” She had left him as a little boy and here he was a big boy. He was a stranger to her. Although he was her child, she still yearned for that little baby. This was because the father put so much into the child whereas the mother missed out on that.. The rule, he says, is that when you give to somebody else, you aren’t losing. You are spreading out . You become a part of that person, and that is why you love them. A great philanthropist who shares his money with the Jewish people doesn’t lose his money. Rather, he becomes spread out into more areas. He is in more places, and he loves more people. This is a very important principle. Loving isn’t giving, and giving isn’t loving. Rather, you love somebody that you give to , and that is why this is a way to strengthen our Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha.
The Sefer Orchot Sadikim (gate 5, on the topic of love) states, What is the path to come to loving your friend? I will light the way: 1- Help him according to your abilities. You are there to serve people, poor and wealthy. You should go through trouble for them, even if it is a hassle- lend them money, do errands for them, and give them gifts according to your abilities. 2- Be a Vatran/ give in. Don’t be nit-picky. Don’t be exacting. 3-You should always want your friends to benefit from you, rather than you trying to gain from them. Don’t always try to get the better end of the deal. 4-Carry the yoke of the world on your neck. Don’t put your load on them. 5-Accept everyone with happiness and a smile 6-Comfort people in their times of distress, and worry. 7-Never reveal a person’s secrets. 8-Always try to find a benefit for people. 9-Respect everybody. 10-Let your intentions be Leshem Shamayim/ For Hashem’s name. That is quite a laundry list, but the way we will come to love people is by acting in all of these ways. It is a long list of things to do, but you don’t just automatically start loving people. Loving comes from giving to people. Loving comes from respecting people. Loving comes from smiling at people. As the rule always goes, the external brings on the internal. What you do on the outside grows on you inwardly. This is what a person has to do when it comes to loving one’s friend. And the following story will give us a little incentive: During a very dangerous time in Yerushalayim, with bombs flying overhead, some people sent a letter to the Chazon Ish, to ask him what they could do for hizzuk . He answered them (in a letter that can still be found in the home of Rav Greineman, in Bnei B’rak) , Don’t pain your friend, even with the slightest remark. We always want to protection, and working on Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha is a way to protect ourselves. It takes work; it’s a job- but these are all wonderful things that we can do to get there.
I saw a quote in the sefer, Agan HaSar (page 152), in which Chazon Ish was asked what the highest level a person could reach in this world. He said, לעבור את כל השבעים שנה בלי לפגוע ליהודי To go through all your 70 years (i.e. your lifetime in this world) without insulting another Jew.” That is a powerful statement, And it’s the ultimate level; to go through life without insulting another Jew. Rav Shteinman z’l brings a source for this, from the Yerushalmi in Dmai (chapter 1) where it tells the story of Rav Pinchas Ben Yair, who was on his way to yeshiva when he came across an overflowing river, which blocked his way. He asked the river why it was interfering, as he had to get to yeshiva to teach. At that point, the river split and he was able to cross. His students asked, Can we also follow? He answered, מאן דידע בנפשי ' דלא אקיל לבר נש מן ישראל מן יומוי יעבור If someone knows, in his soul, that he never treated another Jewish person lightly in his lifetime, then he can pass. What the rabbi was asking of his students was that they should be on the level that they had never treated another Jew lightly. And, as we have said previously, the reason that we insult people is that we treat them lightly. As we mentioned yesterday, every person has a great soul, and is a giant person. Although we might not see it, we should still not treat anybody lightly. This is the highest, greatest level that a person can reach in this world. All the great Gedolim excelled in this. There is a beautiful story about the Steipler. One Rosh Hashanah, he noticed a young boy holding a very large sefer, which seem to be a Gemarah, during the prayers. He took that sefer away from the boy, because it wasn’t the proper time to learn- it was time to pray. Later, after the prayers were over, he noticed that the sefer was actually a very large Machzor . The boy had been praying after all. The Steipler made a mistake, but knew that he couldn’t ask forgiveness, because the child was under age. Then, many years later, when the boy was celebrating his bar mitzvah, the Steipler made sure to ask his forgiveness, for suspecting him of learning during prayers those many years ago. It is was still on the Steipler’s mind, many years later, that he had insulted a young child. Our goal is to reach that level of respect for every Jew. May we never look down on another Jew, and thus never come to insult another Jew. Have a wonderful day.
As we have said before, when the pasuk discusses Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha, love your friend like you love yourself, it ends with the words, Ani Hashem- I am Hashem. There are many explanations for why this is so. The Chafetz Chaim, in his sefer Shemirat Lashon , ( section one, Shaar Hatevuna, chapter 6) says, “ Don’t bear grudge, don’t seek vengeance against your fellow man. Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/Love your friend like you love yourself.” A person might wonder how they can do this- how can they not have a complaint against someone that wronged him? And not only that- How can they love this fellow like they love themselves? If someone, for example, called the building department on you, you’re expected to not bear a grudge or seek vengeance, and what’s more, to love this man! How can you do that? The answer is, “ Ani Hashem/ I am Hashem .” What does that mean? Says the Chafetz Chaim, Hashem is saying, “ Ani Hashem-I am Hashem, I love the Jewish people. Like it says, “You are my children, I love you, regardless, unconditionally. So too, love your fellow man like I love him.” He says that when we look at a friend, we see only the bottom of him. A human being is comprised of a soul. But the soul is cloaked in a physical covering. That covering is not the real person. The Nefesh HaChaim says that the body is like a shoe for the soul. When you look at someone’s body, you really just looking at their shoe – not at the person. When you see a man who is tall, dark, and handsome, with a muscular build, wearing a very fancy belt, and a nice suit, and then you look at the bottom of a shoe, chewing gum and all. Is that chewing gum on the bottom of the shoe the person? No! That is the only a shoe. Even if he happens to be wearing Ferragamo shoes, you are still only looking at the bottom of the shoe. You can’t see anything. When we look at a human being, we are looking at the bottom. But when Hashem looks at a person, He sees the kedusha of the soul, which is great and awesome beyond. Like the Zohar says in many places, the Jewish soul comes from a very, holy, awesome place. Therefore, Hashem respects them and loves them, because He knows what they truly are. So when we look at somebody with a look of disdain, it is only because we don’t appreciate who they are. Therefore, says the Chafetz Chaim, when you look at somebody, imagine that you know what his soul is. There is a famous story told about the Chazon Ish: When a special child once came, with his father, to see him, the Chazon Ish stood up. The people around him were amazed. Why was the Chazon Ish standing up for a man who was not a great Sadik or Talmid Chacham? The Chazon Ish explained that he was standing up for soul of the child. He told them about the power of the soul of a special child, that came into this world just to fix a few things. He said his soul is complete- he is a great Sadik. He told them he was standing up for the child’s soul , not his body. That is the way that we have to look at everybody. We have to think, If I knew what his soul was, and how great he was, I would stand up for him. This is a technique for how to overcome the challenges of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. Don’t look at his shoes, look at the full man. Have a wonderful day.
Today we will quote from a Yalkut Shemoni, a Midrash on Devarim (remez 920). The pasuk talks about when a person hates his friend, ambushes him and kills him. It talks of murder. But before any of that, it starts off by saying, “ And he hated him. ” From here, says the Midrash, we see that when a person transgresses a Mitzvah kalah/ a light Mitzvah ( one that is not as severe), in the end it will bring him to transgress a Mitzvah Hamurah- a more stringent Mitzvah . It starts off with transgressing Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha- he doesn’t love his friend like he loves himself, It’s a lack of a mitzvah, but person doesn’t get death for that. However, it will eventually lead to bearing a grudge. And then it will lead to vengeance, and then it leads to hate, and then it comes to not helping him out in his time of need. And then it will come to standing by when he is in trouble. Eventually, it will come to murder. The Yalkut Shemoni says a big Hiddush here. In the Mishnah in Pirkei Avot chapter 4, Ben Azai tells us a rule, Chase a light Mitzvah like a heavy Mitzvah (we mentioned this topic yesterday), Why? The next line is, Mitzvah Goreret Mitzvah- one Mitzvah drags another, and Averah Goreret Averah, one sin drags with it another. So Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha is the beginning of a snowball effect. It’s the domino effect. It brings down everything with it. This is a powerful concept. We can’t always just jump to the top. We have to start with small things, but they grow. Rabbenu Yonah says that there are two powers in a Mitzvah. The first is that when a person does a small Mitzvah, that brings him closer to Hashem and it conditions him to serving God. Then the next Mitzvah gets a little easier, even if there’s a little bit more work involved. He slowly conditions himself, and builds himself up. It’s like lifting weights. You start with five pounders, and then increase to 10 and 20, and before you know it, you’re lifting 45 pounds. A person’s nature gets used to doing Mitzvot this way. So you start with a little Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha in your heart, then you bring the person a cup of coffee, or make a phone call. And it grows and grows and grows. So too, with the opposite. Sins also grow. If you did one Averah , you’ve distanced yourself from serving Hashem. And then it becomes easier with the next one, and so on. The next point, he says, is supernatural. When a person does a mitzvah, God gives him supernatural help to do another one, because you’re not always able to do Mitzvot on your own. So God gives you supernatural help (and the opposite is true as well). But the first stepping stone, in all of our service between man and man, the catalyst for everything, is that small little mitzvah of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. It starts in your heart, before you have done anything, but it will bring you to great things. And Has v’ shalom, the opposite will bring the opposite. Have a wonderful day.
We continue with appreciating that Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/ Love your friend like you love yourself is a Mitzvah like any other Mitzvah . The Pele Yoetz writes, on the topic of Avavat Re’im, loving your fellow , that the Jewish people are great. They spend a lot of money, and put in a lot of effort, in order to fill Mitzvot. We spend a lot of money on the Lulav and Etrog, we go through a tremendous amount of trouble to put up our Succot, there is endless effort and money that the Jewish people spend on Mitzvot. Fortunate is their lot . But what hurts, he says, is that there are Mitzvot that people do not put their effort into, and the reason for this is that they don’t consider these as Mitzvot. If it says that one should chase a small Mitzvah like a great Mitzvah, because you don’t know what the reward for Mitzvot are, surely, when it comes to Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha, which we know is a Klal Gadol b’Torah- a great principle of the Torah , you should run after it like you run after your life. The only reason that we aren’t running after it is because the Yetzer Hara influences us not to fulfill this Mitzvah . Our natural selfish self-love interferes with this. Therefore, he says, you can’t trust yourself. Very often, we wonder whether or not we should do something for a friend. Should you walk that half hour in the cold, because your friend is making an affair on Shabbat? Will it or won’t it make a difference? The Pele Yoetz advises us to ask somebody else, as it says, “ Don’t trust your own logic.” Always ask somebody. That is good advice, from the Pele Yoetz. In his last will and testament to his family the great Sadik, known as the Yesod V’Shoresh HaAvodah, , shared this concept: A person has to look at this mitzvah ( Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha) just like any mitzvah. He gave an example: He once saw that somebody had a small tear in their clothing. Before he went over to tell the man about the tear, he said, “ Hashem I am now ready to fulfill the mitzvah of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha, as You commanded in the Torah.” Then he told his friend, “My friend, my brother, small tears become big tears. Please fix the tear before it gets bigger.” He says that this is a wonderful thing to do. “ I testify, my children, that I had a tremendous happiness in my heart after I suggested to this man to sew the tear in his clothing, like I fulfilled the positive mitzvah of putting on tefilin.” He then quotes same pasuk, “ Be careful with a small Mitzvah like a great one.” We have unbelievable opportunities to fulfill Mitzvot. He adds that the examples are never ending, and that he only gave them one small one, in order to show them how easy it is to fulfill the great Mitzvah of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha.
Today we continue with a quote from the Midrash Shemuel on Pirkei Avot, Perek ב Mishna י explaining how, as the Bet HaLevi told us, Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha Love your friend like you love yourself is an antidote for anger. He discusses how getting angry at another person is like hurting yourself. If a person were pulling out of his driveway and accidentally dented his second car, he wouldn’t start screaming at himself for damaging his own car. If a person hurts himself, he doesn’t get angry at himself. He says, “ The whole Jewish people are one nation. Therefore, he is like your limb. Even if hits you, you wouldn’t hit him back.” This is how Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha can prevent anger. It’s actually a Yerushalmi in Nedarim . Right before Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha, it says “ Don’t bear a grudge” and “ Don’t seek vengeance.” The Yerushalmi gives a mashal of a man who was cutting meat with his right hand, and accidentally cut his left finger. Would anyone fathom that his left hand would now stab his right hand for that cut? Of course not! That’s ludicrous. That is the level of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. It is to the extent that a person views his friend like he views himself. Nobody would go and hurt himself. As the saying goes, “ Don’t cut your nose to spite your face.” The dictionary definition of this phrase is, “ A needlessly self-destructive over-reaction to a problem.” It’s when you get so upset at some thing that you overreact, and it becomes self-destructive. You cut your nose to spite your face. The Hiddush of the Yerushalmi is that when you get upset at someone else, you are also cutting your nose to spite your face. It’s self destructive because he is yourself . This is how the power of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha can prevent someone from getting angry.
We continue with the fundamental that Ahavat Yisrael/ loving your fellow Je w will protect a person from anger. The Midrash Shemuel elaborates on this and makes two points. His first point is that, “ It never happens that someone is angry, unless the person is lenient in the respect of his friend. And then he feels anger against him and will curse to scream at him.” He’s teaching us a principle- You don’t get angry at someone that you respect. If a great rabbi or Adam Gadol/ great man, was walking by and accidentally spilled his coffee on your shirt, you wouldn’t scream at him. He’s a great man. Out of your respect for him, you would not get angry at him. Likewise, what would you do if a great man was pulling out of the parking lot and dented your car? For an extreme example, imagine if it was Chacham Ovadia Yosef’s driver! If you saw Chacham Yosef sitting in the car, you would not start screaming and yelling- not with an Adam Gadol there. The Midrash Shemuel says that if we were to respect our fellow man like we respect ourselves (as it says in Pirkei Avot, which we quoted in our last lesson- יְהִי כְבוֹד חֲבֵרְךָ חָבִיב עָלֶיךָ כְּשֶׁלָּךְ Your friend’s honor should be dear to you like your own) , then the outcome would be that we wouldn’t get angry, because anger only comes from a lack of respect. This is a tremendous principle. So therefore, rather than work on not getting angry (which is a hard thing to do), we should work on respecting people. You can’t get angry at someone that you have a great level of respect for. That is how we can use Ahavat Yisrael to get into the gut of a person, so to say. So rather than waiting until we get to the point of anger, we can pull the carpet out from under it- because you can’t get angry at someone whom you respect. You get angry at people only because they are on a lower level of respect than you. This is our first approach to how Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha will stop us from getting angry at our fellow man.
We are studying the Mitzvah of Avahat Yisrael, using the Bet HaLevi’s manuscript. He continues and tells us that the Gemara in Masechet Shabbat tells us regarding the Mitzvah of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/ Love your friend like you love yourself שֶׁהִיא כְּלָל כָּל הַתּוֹרָה כֻּלָּהּ It includes the entire Torah within it. There is more than one way to understand this. The Bet Halevi tells us כִּי הִיא מוֹנַעַת הַקִּנְאָה וְהַכַּעַס מִלֵּב וְכַדּוֹמֶה It stops from our hearts, jealousy, anger and the like. The Bet HaLevi chooses these two difficult Middot , jealousy and anger, and tells us that the remedy for these two bad character traits is Ahavat Yisrael- loving your fellow Jew. There is a principle that the Baalei Mussar tell us, which I heard from Rabbi Wolbe, based on a pasuk - ס֣וּר מֵ֭רָע וַעֲשֵׂה־ט֑וֹב Stay away from evil, and do good. Simply this means- stay away from evil, and then do good. Don’t worry about doing acts of hesed while you are shooting people. First you have to stop the bad, and then you can work on doing good. That’s the simple way to understand this pasuk. But Rav Wolbe explained, from the Baalei Mussar, that ס֣וּר מֵ֭רָע וַעֲשֵׂה־ט֑וֹב The way to get away from evil is by doing good. For example, one way a person who gets angry can work on this middah is by not getting angry. Another way is to work in talking softly. Work on doing something on the positive side. By working on the positive, the negative will disappear. That is what the Bet HaLevi is telling us here. The power of Ahavat Yisrael is that by working on the positive, you take away the negative. The Bet HaLevis idea is also found in the sefer Reshit Hochma, a Kabbalist from the era of the Arizal (Shaar Ha’Anava chap 4): הסבה הגדולה המונעת הכעס והשנאה הסבה והקנאה מהלב הוא כאשר יסתכל האדם בדעתו לקיים מצות ( ויקרא יט , יח ) ואהבת לרעך כמוך The great cause that stops anger, hatred and jealousy from entering the heart- is when a person focuses on the Mitzvah of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. Putting emphasis on this Mitzvah will ameliorate the bad Middot of jealousy, anger and hatred. This is very important. These are difficult Middot to work on. But if you work on the positive, Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha, it will cause the other traits to dissipate. The Sefer Midrash Shemuel reads this into a Mishnah in Perkei Avot (perek ב ) Rav Eliezer says, יְהִי כְבוֹד חֲבֵרְךָ חָבִיב עָלֶיךָ כְּשֶׁלָּךְ Your friend’s honor should be dear to you like your own, וְאַל תְּהִי נוֹחַ לִכְעֹס And don’t be easily angered.” The Midrash Shemuel says that the Tanna is telling us that if we want to acquire the trait of not getting angry, we should work on respecting our friends. Then, love him like you love yourself, and you won’t get angry.
We continue with our daily inspiration on the Mitzvah of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/ Love your friend like you love yourself. The Sefer Mitzvot Hakatan (Mitzvah ח , written by a Rishon) mentions a Midrash that says there are two opinions as to what the Klal Gadol/ Fundamental Rule of the Torah is. Rabbi Akiva says that it’s Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/love your friend like you love yourself. But Ben Azai, who happened to be Rabbi Akiva’s son in law, thought בצלם אלקים עשה את הא דם / Man was created in God’s image was an even greater Klal/ Rule . In other words, since man was created in God’s image, respect him. What was Ben Azai trying to add? The Sefer Mitzvot Hakatan says, על פי שאינו מקפיד על כבוד עצמו יש לו להקפיד על כבוד חבירו If a person doesn’t care about his own self respect in a certain area (for example, imagine someone who wouldn’t be offended if he was called “fatso”), that doesn’t mean they can treat another person that way. (in our example, although he doesn’t mind being called “fatso,” he is not permitted to call someone else by this title). But based on the wording of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/ Love your friend like you love yourself, one might think that if he doesn’t mind a certain indignity ( such as being called “fatso,”) he is allowed do it to others. But that’s wrong. Man was created in the image of God. So, forget about you, and how you think. Look at him the way he is. The Hida, in his commentary on the Sefer Chasidim, adds to this. He cites the famous discussion in the Gemarah, where Hillel was asked what the greatest klal/rule was, and he answered, “ What you don’t want done to you, don’t do to your friend.” The Hida mentions this because he wants you to imagine that you are that person. How would you feel based on the way he looks at things. You know that if something bothers you, you wouldn’t want it done to you, so therefore, whatever bothers him, you shouldn’t do to him either. This is an important principle of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha . You have to be able to get into the other person’s head. You have to carry the yoke of your friend . What is he feeling? What is he thinking? You have to be sensitive to the way he thinks and feels, even if you are the kind of person that wouldn’t be bothered by those same things. Thinking this way causes us to break out of our egos. We all tend to look at things through our own lenses. But sometimes, we have to view things through the other person’s lenses, and think about what his needs are. People often say that if you ask somebody whether they are hungry, it is because you are hungry. But just because you may have had a good breakfast today, that doesn’t mean that he ate breakfast. It may be 10 o’clock, and you have already eaten, but maybe this person hasn’t eaten yet. We have to break out of our own egos a little bit, and start looking at others the way they are. We have to stop looking at people through our own lenses. This was the added Hiddush of Ben Azai: Even though it says love him like you love yourself, it goes deeper than that. Have a wonderful day.
We continue to discuss ways to love our fellow Jew. The Sefer Charedim gives us practical ways to fulfill this Mitzvah. In continuation from yesterday, he says Number five- always speak softly and calmly to your friend, in a way of endearment and respect. This is phenomenal. Just talking to someone can be a Mitzvah. How do you like to be spoken to? I was recently in a store and needed a certain item that I was missing for my summer home. I asked the worker where the item was. He said, “Over there, in aisle three.” I went to to third aisle, but I didn’t see it, so I went back to the man and I asked him if he could help me a little more. He stayed in his spot and he said, “Oh, look a little more… under there.” This went on for a while, back-and-forth. Let’s assume that there were no customers in the store. I’m sure if he was the customer, he would have liked if the worker would have gotten up from behind the counter and walked over to show him. We should always try to treat people the way that we would like to be treated. Another example- Talk softly and nicely when giving someone directions. Don’t start getting exasperated if he isn’t writing them down, and asks you a second time. These are simple, practical examples of how you can fulfill a Mitzvah when talking to someone. Even your tone of voice can fulfill a Mitzvah of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. Another example comes from Sefer Hasidim (in chapter 349, written by a Rishon, about 800 years ago) In the past, if a person had a certain bad dream, Lo Alenu, it was brought down that he should fast (this doesn’t necessarily apply today, when we have more anxiety). But what about if a person dreamt that his friend fell off a roof? Should he tell his friend, so that the friend could fast and prevent the bad decree? That would just cause the friend unnecessary anguish. The Sefer Chasidim says that the person who had the dream should fast, for his friend! Wouldn’t you want someone to fast for you , if you were in trouble? And when you do that, you fulfill Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. One last example- the Aruch Hashulchan, in Yoreh Deah (chapter 215) tells us that when someone hears a Mi Sheberach and answers Amen , he fulfills the Mitzvah of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. If someone hears a person say Gomel , and say “ Amen , the One who gave you blessings should continue to bless you, ” you have fulfilled the mitzvah of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. Rabbi Zilberstein gives another example. In shul, if someone announces that a person is sick, Lo Alenu , and they want you to stay, to say some tehilim for the person, if you stay, you fulfill Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. Wouldn’t you want people to stay and say Tehilim if you were in trouble, Lo Alenu? If, Lo Alenu, there is danger in Eretz Yisrael and we say Tehilim for 6 million people, that’s 6 million Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha s! These are all simple, practical examples of how, with a little thought, we can all acquire great Mitzvot. What unbelievable opportunities! Have a wonderful day.
We left off last week with a seeming argument. When fulfilling the Mitzvah of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha/ love your friend like you love yourself , should you be thinking that you’re doing it because it’s a Mitzvah (because in order to fulfill a Mitzvah you need to have kavana), or should you do it because you’re naturally a good person, and you love your fellow Jew like you love yourself, without any ulterior motives or Mitzvah reasons? Rabbi Moshe Feinstein has an unbelievable thought on this, in his sefer Kol Ram , on Parashat Pinhas (Bamidbar ch 28 v19), where it says, “ Bring a korban Olah- bring two cows, one ram, and seven sheep.” Rashi brings down, beautifully, from the Midrash, that these three of animals, the cow, ram, and sheep correspond to Abraham, Yitzhak and Yaakov. It says that Abraham ran to the cow when his three guests came to visit, the ram is the ram of Akedat Yitzhak, and Yaakov Avinu watched the sheep. Rav Moshe points out that it says two cows , but Abraham ran to one cow. So why does it say there were two cows? He explains beautifully, that in an act of hessed, there are two things going on, and that both are true. Firstly, when you do an act of hessed, you are supposed to be doing it because Hashem said so. That’s what He wants us to do. But on the other hand, you’re supposed to do it because of good middot . We want to love doing hessed. Abraham Avinu didn’t have the Mitzvah of doing hessed that day because there were no people there. But he so much wanted to do the Mitzvah of Hessed, that Hashem sent him the angels. It wasn’t being done because of the Mitzvah. That would be like wanting to shake a Lulav when it’s not Succot. He was doing it out of his love of hessed. That’s Middot. But at the same time, he did it because he knew that it’s a Mitzvah, a commandment. So there are two aspects, and both are true. Therefore, two cows are brought for the korban, in remembrance of Abraham, because when he went to the one cow to do his act of kindness, it was really two cows- the two aspects of hessed. So in the back of our minds, when we do Hessed, we should know that it’s a Mitzvah. We aren’t just doing it because we are humanists, or because it seems like the right thing. But, the goal of the Mitzvah is to work on our hearts to the point that we are Mitzvah driven but we don’t have to think about the Mitzvah. We do it because we want to do it, but we know that it’s a Mitzvah at the same time. Like when you sit down to a delicious Shabbat meal, you know it’s a Mitzvah - Oneg Shabbat, and you say Lchvod Shabbat Kodesh. But come on, you are really enjoying it. That it was Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha is supposed to be. It’s a Mitzvah, but it’s delicious! That’s the way we merge both approaches. Like in any machloket , they are both true. Rav Moshe Feinstein beautifully explains these two tracks of hessed, merged into one, and that’s how Abraham Avinu’s running to the one cow became two cows. Have a wonderful day.
We have been discussing loving your fellow man. In the Sefer Darchei Mussar, by Rabbi Neiman, on Parashat Re’eh , he quotes the Elder of Kelm, who says, regarding Sedaka , that if you give Sedaka but don’t feel like it hurts you that the man is suffering, and only do it because you are a God fearing man and want to fulfill the Mitzvah, that is not considered Sedaka B’Shelemut - a complete Mitzvah. The goal and focus of Sedaka is when you reach the level that you forget it’s a Mitzvah. You give Sedaka because your friend is hungry, and so you feel like you yourself are hungry, and therefore you give him. That’s what Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha Love your friend like you love yourself means. He says that we don’t eat because it’s a Mitzvah to eat. He says that we eat because we are hungry. Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha means love your friend just like you love yourself. No one loves themselves because it’s a Mitzvah to love yourself. That would be strange. Hashem put into you, a natural love for yourself. If you were in a building, lo Alenu , and there was a stampede, you wouldn’t run out because it’s a Mitzvah, you run out because it’s a natural instinct to save yourself. When someone else is in trouble, you supposed to save or help them because of that natural instinct, thinking, How can I sit by and watch while he is suffering? So right now, we seemingly have two different approaches (or a machloket/conflict ) to this Mitzvah. We learned one opinion yesterday, from the Chafetz Chaim, and from the Sefer HaBrit, that we have to love our friends like we love ourselves because Ani Hashem ’- because Hashem commanded us- not just because we want to be nice. We learned that we shouldn’t just give somebody a ride because it’s a nice thing to do, we should have in mind that it’s a Mitzvah. But, on the other hand, now we are hearing that we should love our friends like we love ourselves, as a natural instinct and tendency, and not for any religious purpose. A rabbi once visited another, sick Rabbi, and was treating him very nicely. The sick Rabbi told the visitor, “ I don’t want to be you’re etrog.” He felt like he had become a Mitzvah item- a sick man there for the Mitzvah of bikur holim. He felt like the visit or shouldn’t just do it for the Mitzvah, he should be doing it out of love. So what is the answer? We will continue tomorrow B’ezrat Hashem.
We are discussing the Mitzvah of Veahavta L’Re’echa Kamocha, Love your friend like you love yourself , which is one of the 613 Mitzvot. We don’t just love people because it is a nice thing to do, but because it is a Mitzvah. But there is a concept in the Torah called מצוות צריכות כונה Mitzvot Need Intention When you do a mitzvah, you need intention . Before you say Keriat Shema in the morning, you should have in mind that you are fulfilling a positive commandment. Before you hear the shofar, you should have in mind that you are fulfilling a positive commandment. Before you eat matzah on Passover, again, you should have in mind that you are fulfilling a positive commandment. Before you eat a kazayit in the succah , have in mind that you are fulfilling a positive commandment. Shulchan Aruch says that we should try to fulfill all Mitzvot with Kavana/intention. The question is, what happens when it comes to Mitzvot regarding Ben Adam Lehavero/man-to-man? For example- is it a Mitzvah to love your spouse or your child? They’re Jewish, but if you weren’t thinking of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha, do you get a Mitzvah for loving them? The Chafetz Chaim, in his sefer Ahavat Chessed (Helek sheni, Perek כג ) tells us that even Mitzvot between man and man need to have kavana. He says that when you give charity and say, “ On the condition that my son lives ,” or,“ On the condition that my business is successful, ” Or, that I should get Olam Haba , even if you’re doing the Mitzvah for a side motive, it’s still a Mitzvah, provided that you have kavana that you’re doing it because, Hashem told you to. The Mitzvah of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha is no different. Even though you might be doing it for an incentive (such as, as we said yesterday, in order to be loved by Hashem), you have to have kavana . The Sefer HaBrit (volume 2, section 13, chapter 18) says that even though the Mitzvah of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha is a Mitzvah of Middot and Sechel (i.e. it makes sense to do it) we still have to do it because Hashem commanded us to. This is the second explanation of why the pasuk says, “ Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha Ani Hashem /Love your friend like you love yourself I am Hashem.” Do it because, “ I Hashem, commanded you to.” Don’t just say you love people because you’re a good human. You should love people because Hashem told you to; because it’s a Mitzvah to love Jewish people. Love them for a religious reason. He brings a Mishnah from Pirkei Avot ( chapter 2) that proves this. It says, “ Your friend’s money should be dear to you like your own. And the Mishnah ends with, “ And all of your deeds should be for the sake of God.” He explains that treating your friend’s money dearly is a Mitzvah of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha, but is has to stem from “ for the sake of God.” Therefore, it’s a good idea that if you are doing something nice for another person, such as giving a person a ride, you should think for a moment that you are fulfilling the mitzvah of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. That will take something ‘nice’ and turn it into a Mitzvah . Have a wonderful day.
We left off yesterday with the point that it’s a Mitzvah to love every Jew, even the unknown, unnamed Jew. How does that work? The Mesilat Yesharim , in chapter 19, makes a powerful statement, which beside explaining why we love a Jew, gives us an incentive to love a Jew. “ God only loves people who love Jewish people.“ And this is not just a general love. “ The more you increase your love for the Jewish people, the more Hashem will increase His love for you.” That is a powerful statement, and a great incentive for us to love the Jewish people. Everyone wants to be loved by Hashem. There are levels and levels of love. Hashem’s love for you gets stronger, depending on how much you love the Jewish people. This is quite an incentive! We all want to be loved by Hashem. And this makes it easier to love people- even the difficult ones. Imagine a teacher who has a child in his classroom that is very difficult to deal with. But the child’s father is a billionaire, and for the past 10 years, starting in preschool, the child’s father would buy the teacher a summer home, if the teacher treated his son nicely. If that were the case, that teacher would surely find a way to put more effort into this child. He’d really want that summer home! So too, if I love the Jewish people, even the difficult ones, Hashem loves me! Isn’t it worth it, to get the love of Hashem, which brings with it all the bounty in the world? And not to be just slightly loved Hashem, but to be exceedingly loved by Hashem. He says that those people that love the Jewish people are the true leaders, that Hashem loves and wants very much; those that pray for the Jewish people, to undo evil decrees, that pray for the Jewish people, to open up the gates of bounty and blessing. That is a great incentive for us, to love the Jewish people. When you love the Jewish people, God Himself loves you!
We mentioned yesterday that the Mitzvah of Veahavta L’Re’echa Kamocha/love your friend like you love yourself is a wonderful Mitzvah, because we have the opportunity to fulfill it every second of the day. Based on the words of the Bet HaLevi, we can apply the Elder of Kelm who tells us that it’s a separate Mitzvah to love every single Jew. One might be bothered by this. If you don’t know the person, have never even seen them, and they are far away, how can you get a Mitzvah for loving an unknown, unseen Jew? It’s almost like getting a Mitzvah for loving an invisible man! The Meshech Chochma gives a beautiful answer, based on the pasuk of Veahavta L’Re’echa Kamocha , which has the words “ Ani Hashem” “ Love your friend like you love yourself- I am Hashem.” We will see many explanations for why those words are needed. Our first is from the Meshech Chochma, which says that it says Ani Hashem, because you have to love Hashem. But have we ever seen God? No. Can we fathom God? No. Can we grasp God with our senses? No. And yet, we have a commandment to love Hashem. So too, Hashem says, Veahavta L’Re’echa Kamocha-Love your friend. Every Jewish soul should be dear to you- even though he might be far, far away; Even though you’ve never seen him; Even the ‘invisible’ Jew should be loved by you. Love the Jewish people (we will learn more about how to do that in our next lesson). The point is that the person does not have to have a face. You fulfill the Mitzvah of Veahavta L’Re’echa Kamocha even for the faceless Jew. If you see a Jew walking down the street, even if you only see his back, and notice that he has a kippa, or a talit, say, “ I love that man!” If you see a car pass by with a bumper sticker that says, “ I am the proud parent of a student at Such-and-Such Yeshiva ,” you can think, “ I love that family, ” even if the windows on their car are tinted black and you can’t see inside. And, if you walk by a house, do like Rabbi Miller teaches. If you see a mezuzah on the door say, “ I love all the people that live in this house.” Even if you don’t know what their names are. It doesn’t make any difference. Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha doesn’t need a name or a face, just like, “ Ani Hashem.” What a wonderful, wonderful thought from the Meshech Chochma, in Vayikra, on this pasuk of Veahavta LeRe’echa Kamocha. Have a wonderful day.
Introduction to Ahavat Yisrael Welcome to our new series on Ahavat Yisrael, loving your fellow Jew . These short, daily lessons will be based on the text of the Bet HaLevi. In the same manuscript in which the Bet HaLevi wrote about Bitachon (and for which he is most famous), that was a released many years after he passed away, there was also this essay on Ahavat Yisrael loving your fellow Jew. He starts off with the words, “ Loving every, individual (Jew) is a positive commandment, as it says, “Veahavta L’Re’echa Kamocha love your friends like you love yourself.” It is interesting to note that his essay on Bitachon starts with the same wording, that it is a Mitzvah to have Bitachon, and the lack of it is a sin. The Bet HaLevi was a tremendous Yareh Shamayim/very God-fearing, and nothing drove him more than fulfilling a mitzvah. We tend to get very busy with with the hands-on Mitzvot, such as lulav and etrog , mezuzot , Tefilin , baking challah , etc…we all like to do things. But the Hovot HaLevavot tells us that there are also Mitzvot that you fulfill with your heart. Loving your fellow man is a Mitzvah of the heart. Since it is indeed a mitzvah, we have to put the same emphasis (or possibly even more, as we will soon see) on loving our fellow Jew as we do on our matzot for Pesach, or our wine for Kiddush. So the Bet HaLevi starts off by prodding us that we are dealing with one of the 613 Commandments of the Torah. That is a powerful driving force. And the Elder of Kelm says that there is no other opportunity to fulfill tens of thousands of Mitzvot in one second than the Mitzvah of Veahavta L’Re’echa Kamocha!! He says that no other mitzvah can give a person this opportunity, because for every individual Jew, there is a separate command to love him. So if there are millions of Jews in that world, we have to love them all, and in that one second, when we feel love for all the Jewish people, we are fulfilling millions of mitzvot. He says that that is why the Yetzer Hara not to love our fellow Jew is so strong- because he wants to take away our treasures, the wealth that we can accrue in that second. This is something we can do every, single second, and earn millions and millions of Mitzvot. Therefore, we will begin this track, getting a dose of Avahat Yisrael daily. Hopefully, with it, we will reap all the benefits that Ahavat Yisrael has to offer. The very first thing that you can do is share this with your friends. Wouldn’t you like it if your friend heard a nice thought on Ahavat Yisrael, and shared it with you? Have a wonderful day.