Soulful Heart ๐: Recent Episodes
Amrita Rai
This is a very important chapter. Itโs one of my favorite exercises to boost my clientsโself-confidence (and my own). Its purpose is to empower you and make you aware of what you have already achieved in your life! We are always so centered in the things that donโt work so well or what we havenโt achieved that we forget what we have already achieved. Iโm sure that you have fantastic achievements in your life and in this chapter you will become aware of those past successes and use them as rocket fuel to achieve your goals and future successes! So the big question is: What great things have you achieved in your life so far? You put yourself through college, traveled the world, have a great career, have lots of great friends. Maybe you lived abroad for a while all on your own. Or maybe you have overcome a tough childhood and major personal setbacks. Maybe you raised fantastic children. Whatever challenges youโve overcome or successes you have achievedโnow is the time to look back and celebrate them. Remember the chapter about focus? In this case, it means that the more you remember and acknowledge your past successes, the more confident youโll become. And because you are concentrating on successes you will see more opportunities for success! Make your list! Remind yourself of your past successes! Give yourself a pat on the shoulder and say to yourself โWell done!โ The important thing is the experience of success! Get into the same state that you were in, see the success once again in your mind, feel again how it felt then! Action Step: 1) Write down a list of the biggest successes youโve achieved in your life! 2) Read them out loud and allow yourself to feel fantastic for what you have accomplished!
Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.โ Aristotle The first step before changing your life is becoming aware of where you are and whatโs missing. Please take some time to answer the following questions. What are your dreams in life? ______________________________ _ At the end of your life, what do you think you would most regret not having done for yourself? _________________________________________ If time and money were not factors, what would you like to do, be, or have? _____________________________________ What motivates you in life? _____What limits you in life? ____________________________________What have been your biggest wins in the last 12 months? _________________________________________________________ What have been your biggest frustrations in the last 12 months? ____________________________________________________________ What do you do to please others? ____________________________________________________ What do you do to please yourself? ______________________________ What do you pretend not to know? _____________________What has been the best work that you have done in your life until today? Letโs talk about values. Not in a moral or ethical way, but looking at what fuels you and what motivates you. Being clear about and knowing your values is one of the most important steps to getting to know yourself better. By knowing your values, you will be able to attract more of what you want in your life. If there is a big difference between the life you are living and your values, this might create suffering and tension. Once you find out what your values are, you will be able to understand yourself and your actions a lot better. When your goals are aligned with your values you will notice that you achieve them much quicker and hit a lot less resistance. Everything changed for me around two years ago when I gained a clear knowledge of my values. I finally knew where the tension and stress at my work and in my life came from (not one of my core values was being applied!) and I could understand my reactions in various situations a lot better. So what is really important to you? Find out what your most important values are that bring you joy, peace, and fulfillment. From the list of values. You may find that you can group values. Then narrow them down to your top four values. Also answer the following questions: What is very important in your life? What gives purpose to your life? What are you usually doing when you experience that feeling of inner peace? What are you doing that is so much fun that you usually lose track of time? Think of some people that you admire. Why do you admire them? What kind of qualities do you admire in them? What activities do you enjoy the most? What kind of moments bring you joy and fulfillment? What canโt you put up with?
๐๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ญ๐พ๐ป๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ญ๐ช๐ป๐ด๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ถ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ฎ ๐ถ๐พ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ฌ๐พ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ.๏ปฟ ๐๐ป๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ต๐ฎ ๐๐ท๐ช๐ผ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ผ๏ปฟ ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ท๐พ๐ถ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ผ๐ธ๐ท ๐๐ฑ๐ ๐น๐ฎ๐ธ๐น๐ต๐ฎ ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ช๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ๏ปฟ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐ญ๐ธ๐ทโ๐ฝ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ด๐ท๐ธ๐ ๐๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ. ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ท๐พ๐ถ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฝ๐๐ธ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ผ๐ธ๐ท ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐๏ปฟ ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ต๐ต๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ต๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ผ ๐๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ, ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ท๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ๐ป๐ช๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ธ๐ท ๐๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐๏ปฟ ๐ญ๐ธ๐ทโ๐ฝ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ, ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ท๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ๐ป๐ช๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ธ๐ทโฆ๐๐๐น๐ช๐ท๐ญ๐ผ! ๐ก๐ฎ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฝ๐ธ๏ปฟ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ฌ๐พ๐ผ ๐ธ๐ท ๐๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฏ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ ๐ท๐ธ๐ ๐ธ๐ท! ๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ฌ๐พ๐ผ? ๐๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐น๐ธ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ๏ปฟ ๐ธ๐ป ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ท๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ? ๐๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐น๐ช๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ธ๐ป ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐น๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ? ๐๐ธ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ฌ๐พ๐ผ ๐ธ๐ท ๐น๐ป๐ธ๐ซ๐ต๐ฎ๐ถ๐ผ ๐ธ๐ป๏ปฟ ๐ผ๐ธ๐ต๐พ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท๐ผ? ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ฌ๐ป๐พ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ช๐ต! ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ต๐ช๐ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ป๐ช๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฎ๐ผ ๐๐ป๐ธ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป๏ปฟ ๐ถ๐ธ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐น๐ฎ๐ธ๐น๐ต๐ฎ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐พ๐น! ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐ผ๐ช๐ โ๐โ๐ถ ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ป๐ช๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ถ๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ๐โ, โ๐โ๐ถ๏ปฟ ๐น๐ป๐ธ๐ผ๐น๐ฎ๐ป๐ธ๐พ๐ผโ, ๐ซ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ช๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ฌ๐พ๐ผ ๐ถ๐ธ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ฒ๐ป ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ต๐ต๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐๏ปฟ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐น๐ช๐, ๐ธ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ๐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฎ๐ผ ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ, ๐ธ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ฎ๐ช๐ป๐ท๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ธ๏ปฟ ๐ถ๐พ๐ฌ๐ฑ. ๐ข๐ธ ๐๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฑ๐ช๐น๐น๐ฎ๐ท๐ผ? ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ป๐ช๐ฌ๐ฝ ๐ถ๐ธ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐ญ๐ธ๐ทโ๐ฝ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ!๏ปฟ ๐จ๐ธ๐พ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ป๐ช๐ฌ๐ฝ ๐ถ๐ธ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ฌ๐พ๐ผ ๐ธ๐ท! ๐จ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฎ๐ป๐ฐ๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ฏ๐ต๐ธ๐ ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๏ปฟ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ฌ๐พ๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ฌ๐พ๐ผ ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป๐ถ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฎ๐ผ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ธ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐น๐ฎ๐ป๐ฌ๐ฎ๐น๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท ๐ธ๐ฏ๏ปฟ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐ป๐ต๐ญ. ๐๐ธ๐ฌ๐พ๐ผ ๐ธ๐ท ๐ธ๐น๐น๐ธ๐ป๐ฝ๐พ๐ท๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ธ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ธ๐น๐น๐ธ๐ป๐ฝ๐พ๐ท๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ผ! ๐๐ธ๐ฌ๐พ๐ผ๏ปฟ ๐ธ๐ท ๐ผ๐พ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ผ๐พ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ผ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐๐ธ๐พ.๏ปฟ ๐ค๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ต๐ต๐ธ๐๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐บ๐พ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ช๐ท๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ฌ๐พ๐ผ: ๐๐ธ๐ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ท ๐ ๐ฒ๐ถ๐น๐ป๐ธ๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ผ๏ปฟ ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐พ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท?๏ปฟ ๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ท ๐ ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ท๐ด๐ฏ๐พ๐ต ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป?๏ปฟ ๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ฐ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ถ๐ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฏ๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ ๐ท๐ธ๐?๏ปฟ ๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ ๐ ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ช๐น๐น๐ ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ ๐ท๐ธ๐ ๐ฒ๐ฏ ๐ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ?๏ปฟ ๐๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ฒ๐ถ๐น๐ธ๐ป๐ฝ๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ท ๐๐ฎ๐ช๐ป๐ผ?๏ปฟ ๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ฐ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ฎ๐ท๐ฐ๐ฎ? ๐๐ธ๐ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ท ๐ ๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ช๐ป๐ท ๐ฏ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ ๐ฒ๐ฝ?๏ปฟ ๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ท ๐ ๐ญ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ถ๐ช๐ด๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ๐ผ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป?
โ๐๐ฎ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐พ๐ท๐ฌ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป๐ฝ๐ช๐ซ๐ต๐ฎ. ๐๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป๐ฝ๐ช๐ซ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐พ๐ท๐ฌ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป๐ฝ๐ช๐ซ๐ต๐ฎ. ๐๐ฝ ๐ถ๐ช๐ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ๐พ๐ฐ๐ฑ, ๐ซ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ฝโ๐ผ ๐ช ๐ผ๐ถ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐น๐ป๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐น๐ช๐ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ช ๐ญ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ถ.โ
๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ช๐ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ผ๐พ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ผ ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฎ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ป๐ธ๐พ๐ฐ๐ฑ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ช๐ท๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ช๐ธ๐ผ. ๐๐ธ๐ป ๐น๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ๐ธ๐ท๐ช๐ต ๐ฐ๐ป๐ธ๐๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ช ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ท๐ผ๐ฝ๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ต๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ผ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ๐ต๐ ๐พ๐ท๐ฌ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป๐ฝ๐ช๐ซ๐ต๐ฎ. ๐๐ฎ๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ซ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ญ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ ๐ญ๐ธ๐ทโ๐ฝ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ญ๐ธ. ๐จ๐ธ๐พ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ธ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ญ๐ธ ๐๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ท๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ช๐ป๐ญ๐ต๐ฎ๐ผ๐ผ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฌ๐ธ๐ท๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฌ๐ฎ! ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ช๐ท๐ผ: ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ท๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ต๐ญ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ช ๐ฐ๐ป๐พ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฎ, ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฎ๐๐ฝ๐ป๐ช ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ท๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ผ๐ช๐๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ทโ๐ฝ ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ; ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ช๐ด๐ฎ 100% ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐น๐ธ๐ท๐ผ๐ฒ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ป ๐ฒ๐ท๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ซ๐ต๐ช๐ถ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ. ๐๐ธ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐พ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ด ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ช๐ท๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ผ ๐๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ถ๐ช๐ด๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐พ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ช๐ท๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ผ, ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ท ๐๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฝ ๐ธ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป๐๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ต๐ถ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ซ๐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐พ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฎ๐ผ๐ผ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ช๐ผ๐ด ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฎ๐ท๐ญ ๐พ๐น ๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ญ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ช๐ท๐๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ, ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฝ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐พ๐ฌ๐ด ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ธ๐ต๐ญ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ซ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ผ. ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ท๐ผ๐๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฒ๐ผ: ๐ซ๐ช๐ซ๐ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐น๐ผ! ๐ข๐ฝ๐ช๐ป๐ฝ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ช๐ท๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ผ๐ถ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ๐ผ ๐๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ฑ ๐ญ๐ธ๐ทโ๐ฝ ๐ป๐ฎ๐บ๐พ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ช ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป๐ฝ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ถ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ช๐ท๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ผ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ๐พ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ช๐ท๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ผ. ๐ข๐ฝ๐ช๐ป๐ฝ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ช๐ท๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐๐ช๐ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐๐ธ๐ป๐ด, ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ช๐พ๐ป๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พโ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ต๐พ๐ท๐ฌ๐ฑ ๐ช๐ฝ, ๐ธ๐ป ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ฝ ๐ท๐ฎ๐ ๐น๐ฎ๐ธ๐น๐ต๐ฎ. ๐๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท ๐ข๐ฝ๐ฎ๐น๐ผ: 1) ๐๐ธ ๐ผ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ถ๐ช๐ด๐ฎ๐ผ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ต ๐ผ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ๐ต๐ ๐พ๐ท๐ฌ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป๐ฝ๐ช๐ซ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป๐ ๐ญ๐ช๐. 2) ๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ช๐ท๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ถ๐ธ๐ป๐ป๐ธ๐? ๐จ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ญ๐ช๐ฒ๐ต๐ ๐ป๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฎ? ๐๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฎ? ๐๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ช๐ต๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ป?
Theodore Roosevelt Letโs talk about failure! This subject is so important and yet so misunderstood! Paulo Coelho hits the spot when he says โThere is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.โ The fear of failure is the number one dream killer, but why? Why are we so afraid of failure? Why canโt we see it like Napoleon Hill who indicated that โEvery adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.โ Or in other words, how would our life change if we could see failure exactly like Napoleon Hill did? Why not see it as a learning experience that is necessary for growth and which provides us with information and motivation? What would happen if you could fully embrace the idea that in reality failure is a sign that points towards progress? Learn the โEdison Mentalityโ. Edison himself said things like โI failed myself to successโ or โI have not failed. Iโve just found 10,000 ways that wonโt work.โ This is what enabled him to bring many of his inventions to us. The man just didnโt give up! Accept your mistakes as feedback and learn from them! Luckily, as kids we didnโt have the mentality which many of us have adapted as adults โ because if we did then many of us wouldnโt know how to walk! How did you learn walking? By falling many times and always getting up again. Unfortunately, somewhere along the road you picked up the idea that failure is something terrible. And as a result of this nowadays we fail once and then stop doing things simply because it didnโt work out the first time, because we got rejected, because our business venture didnโt work out right away. NOW is the time to change your mentality towards failure! Why donโt you look at it in this way from now on: Every failure is a great moment in our life, because it allows us to learn and grow from it! Even more and more companies nowadays are shifting to a new mentality by allowing their employees to make mistakes, because they noticed that if people are afraid to make mistakes, creativity and innovation die and the companyโs progress slows down. At the end of the day it comes down to this: Success is the result of right decisions. Right decisions are the result of experience, and experience is the result of wrong decisions. Here is a story of a famous โfailureโ that literally failed his way to success: โข Lost job, 1832 โข Defeated for legislature, 1832 โข Failed in business, 1833 โข Elected to legislature, 1834 โข Sweetheart (Ann Rutledge) died, 1835 โข Had nervous breakdown, 1836 โข Defeated for Speaker, 1838 โข Defeated for nomination for Congress, 1843 โข Lost re-nomination, 1848 โข Rejected for Land Officer, 1849 โข Defeated for Senate, 1854 โข Defeated for nomination for Vice-President, 1856 โข Again defeated for Senate, 1858 โข Elected President, 1860 This is the story of Abraham Lincoln, a man we would not exactly characterize as a failure, would we?
Perseverance is more important than talent, intelligence, and strategy. There is great virtue in never giving up. When life doesnโt go according to plan, keep moving forward, no matter how small your steps are. The top two habits that will decide between success and failure, between real change and staying in the same place are patience and perseverance. Itโs highly possible that before success comes, there may be some obstacles in your path. If your plans donโt work out see it as a temporary defeat, and not as a permanent failure. Come up with a new plan and try again. If the new plan doesnโt work out either, change it, adapt it until it works. This is the point at which most people give up: They lack patience and persistence in working out new plans! But watch out. Donโt confuse this with persistently pursuing a plan that doesnโt work! If something doesnโt workโฆchange it! Persistence means persistence toward achieving your goal. When you encounter obstacles - have patience. When you experience setback - have patience. When things are not happening - have patience. Donโt throw your goal away at the first sign of misfortune or opposition. Think of Thomas Edison and his ten thousand attempts to make the light bulb. Fail towards success like he did! Persistence is a state of mind. Cultivate it. If you fall down, get up, shake off the dust, and keep on moving towards your goal. The habit of persistence is built as follows: 1. Have a clear goal and the burning desire to achieve it. 2. Make a clear plan and act on it with daily action steps. 3. Be immune to all negative and discouraging influences. 4. Have a support system of one or more people who will encourage you tofollow through with your actions and to pursue your goals.
William Shakespeare said โThere is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it soโ. Put things into perspective! The closer you are to the problem and the more in front of it, the less you see. Step back and get a more global view of it. Understand how you feel faced with the problem and evaluate the real importance of it. Even seeing the problem as a challenge will be helpful! Every negative experience in your life has something good in it - search for it! If you get into the habit of always searching for the good in every situation you will change the quality of your life drastically. Experiences themselves are neutral until we start to give them meaning. Your vision of the world and your perspective โdecideโ if something is โgoodโ or โbadโ. What may be a great tragedy to you could be a wakeup call for me to take my life into my hands and thrive. In coaching we use what is called โReframingโ to change the perspective that a client has of an event. One of my favorites is changing โFailureโ to โFeedbackโ or โLearning experienceโ. How do you feel if you say โI failed terribly in my last relationshipโ? Now try saying โI learned so much from my last relationship, Iโm sure I will not make the same mistakes again!โ Can you feel the difference? Here are some more examples of reframing:
Your Attitude is crucial for your happiness! It can change your way of seeing things dramatically and also your way of facing them. You will suffer less in life if you accept the rules of the game. Life is made up of laughter and tears, light and shadow. You have to accept the bad moments by changing your way of looking at them. Everything that happens to you is a challenge and an opportunity at the same time. Look at the positive side of things in life even in the worst situations. There is something good hidden in every bad โ although sometimes it might take some time to discover it. Iโll tell you again: itโs not what happens in your life thatโs important; itโs how you respond to what happens to you that makes your life! Life is a chain of moments โ some happy, some sad - and it depends on you to make the best of each and every one of those moments. Did your wife leave you? So will you be unhappy forever or will you go out and meet new people? Losing your job might open new doors. Many years ago all of the success teachers and positive thinkers described it this way: โIf life gives you a lemon, add sugar to it, and make lemonade out of itโ. Younger readers might say that โIf life gives you a lemon, ask for some salt and Tequilaโ. You get the point, donโt you? For example, some healthy attitudes are: โข Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them. โข Admit that there are things you donโt know. โข Dare asking for help and let other people help you. โข Differentiate between what you have done in your life until now and what you want to do or better still, will do from now on!
What do you believe? This is extremely important, because ultimately your beliefs create your reality! You create what you believe and your world is only your interpretation of the reality. In other words, we donโt see the world how it is, but how we were conditioned to see it. Our perception is only an approximation of reality. Our maps of reality determine the way we act more than reality itself. Each one of us sees the world through the lenses of their own beliefs. Does this sound like hocus-pocus to you? It did to me too until I studied two semesters of Psychology at my High School and learned about the Placebo Effect, The Pygmalion Effect, and Self-Fulfilling prophecies. Studies on these subjects out there show how powerful our thoughts and beliefs really are! But what is a belief? Itโs the conscious and unconscious information that we accept as true. Robert Dilts defines beliefs as judgments and assessments about ourselves, others, and the world around us. A belief is a habitual thought pattern. Once a person believes something is true (whether itโs true or not) he or she acts as if it were - collecting facts to prove the belief even if itโs false. Beliefs are like a self-fulfilling prophecy. They work like this: your beliefs influence your emotions, your emotions influence your actions and your actions influence your RESULTS! Depending on your belief-system you live your life one way or another. I want you to realize that life doesnโt just happen to you! Itโs a reflection of your beliefs, thoughts, and expectations. If you want to change your life you have to first change your patterns of thinking. Even if beliefs come from early childhood programming for most of us, we are able to change them. Nobody can impose your beliefs on you. Itโs always you who in the last instance can permit a belief to be true for you or not! L
If you want to improve your life, the first thing you have to do is improve your thoughts. Your thoughts create your reality so you better have them under control! By controlling your thoughts, ultimately you control your life and your destiny. So observe your thoughts every now and then. Peace Pilgrimโs quote โIf you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.โ says it all: donโt get stuck in negative thoughts. Replace them with positive thoughts such as โeverything is going to be all rightโ every single time they come up. Think positive! A positively thinking person is not a dreamer, who thinks there are no problems in life. Instead he or she recognizes that problems are opportunities to grow, and knows that they only have the meaning that they are given. Positive thinking is to see reality as it is, accept it, and make the best of it. Donโt let your thoughts dominate you, instead dominate your thoughts and control their quality. Train your mind to concentrate only on positive, creative, and inspiring thoughts. If you train your mind like this for a while you will see that the circumstances of your life change too. You are the creator of your thoughts, but you are not your thoughts. Your thoughts are energy and the energy follows the thought. Thoughts create emotions, which create behavior, which create actions, and those actions have consequences in your daily life.
โOnce you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.โ - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Maybe you have heard that your life is the result of the decisions you made. How do you feel about that? Is this true for you? It's important that from now on, you are aware of the power you have over your life by making decisions! Every decision, every choice has an important influence on your life. In fact, your life is a direct result of the choices and decisions you made in the past and every choice carries a consequence! Start making better choices. Remember that you choose your thoughts and even your feelings. The most important thing is to make decisions. Whether the decision is right or wrong is secondary. You will soon receive feedback that will help you to progress. Once you have made a decision, go with it and take the consequences. If it was wrong, learn from it and forgive yourself knowing that at that point in time and with the knowledge you had, it was the best and the right decision to take. YOUR ATTITUDE + YOUR DECISIONS = YOUR LIFE Victor Frankl was a Jewish psychologist imprisoned in Germanyโs concentration camps during the Second World War. He lost his entire family except his sister. Under these terrible circumstances, he became aware of what he named โthe ultimate human freedomโ, which not even the Nazi prison wards could take away from him: they could control his external circumstances, but in the last instance it was him who CHOSE HOW these circumstances were going to affect him! He found out that between STIMULUS and RESPONSE there was a small space in time in which he had the freedom to CHOOSE his RESPONSE! This means that even if you may not be able to control the circumstances that life presents to you, you can always choose your response in facing those circumstances, and by doing so have a huge impact on your life. In other words, what hurts us is not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us. The most important thing is how we RESPOND to what happens to us in our lives. And that is a CHOICE! Do you want to be healthier? Make better choices about food and exercise. Do you want to be more successful? Make better decisions about who you surround yourself with, what you read, and what you watch. There are no excuses! Forgive me if I make the assumption that your life situation is not worse than Victor Franklโs when he made this discovery: for me being a Jew in a German concentration camp in WW2 is as bad as it gets. Questions to ask yourself: What decisions could you make today to start change? Will you choose to be more flexible? More positive? Healthier? Happier? Action Steps: 1) Write down at least three changes that you want do make today: 1 ________________________________________ 2________________________________________ 3________________________________________ 2) Read Viktor Franklโs book โMan in search of meaningโ.
โPeak performance begins with your taking complete responsibility for your life and everything that happens to you.โ Brian Tracy "Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.โ Sigmund Freud There is only one person that's responsible for your life and that is YOU! Not your boss, not your spouse, not your parents, not your friends, not your clients, not the economy, not the weather. YOU! The day we stop blaming others for everything that happens in our life, everything changes! Taking responsibility for your life is taking charge of your life and becoming the protagonist of it. Instead of being a victim of circumstances, you obtain the power to create your own circumstances or at least the power to decide how you are going to act in the face of circumstances that life presents to you. It doesnโt matter what happens to you in your life; it matters what attitude you adopt. And the attitude you adopt is your choice! If you blame your life situation on others, what has to happen to make your life better? All of the others have to change! And that my friend I tell you, is not going to happen. If you are the protagonist, YOU have the power to change the things that you don't like in your life! You are in control of your thoughts, actions, and feelings. You are in control of your words, the series you watch on TV, and the people you spend your time with. If you don't like your results, change your input - your thoughts, emotions, and expectations. Stop reacting to others and start responding. Reaction is automatic. Responding is consciously choosing your response. You take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame - Erica Jong The victim says: Every bad thing in my life is othersโ fault, but if you are not part of the problem, then you also canโt be a part of the solution or - in other words - if the problem is caused by the outside, the solution is also on the outside. If youโre coming in late to work because of โtrafficโ, what has to happen so that you can get to work on time? Traffic has to disappear magically! Because as long as there is traffic - you will always be late. Or you can act like a protagonist and leave home on time. Then it depends on you. So once again: even if you donโt have control over the stimuli that environment sends you continuously, you have the liberty do choose your behavior in facing the situation. The person with a โvictim mentalityโ only reacts, is always innocent, and constantly blames others for his or her life situation, while using the past as justification and putting their hopes on a future which will miraculously bring solutions to problems or a change in others who are causing the troubles. The protagonist knows that he or she is responsible, chooses adequate behavior and holds himself accountable. He uses the past as a valuable experience from which to learn, lives in the present where he sees constant opportunities for change, and decides and goes after his future goals. The most important question is: โWho will you choose to be โ by your actions โ when life presents you with these circumstances?โ Gandhi said it very nicely: โThey canโt take away our self-respect if we donโt give it to them.โ
โIt was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action and discipline that enabled us to follow through.โ Zig Ziglar โIf you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way.โ Napoleon Hill This is one of the first chapters, because it will be the foundation of your future success! Your way to success and happiness is deeply connected to your willpower and commitment. These character traits will decide whether you do what you said you would do and go through with it. These will keep you going towards your goals even when everything seems to go against you. Self- discipline is doing the things you need to do, even if you are not in the mood for it. If you train to be self-disciplined and have the will to succeed, you can do great things in your life. But even if you donโt have the slightest bit of self- discipline within you right now - donโt worry. You can start training your self- discipline and willpower from this moment on! Self-discipline is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better you get. If your self-discipline is weak right now, start training it by setting yourself small, reachable goals. Write down the success you have and keep in mind that you don't have limits - only the ones you set for yourself. Visualize the benefits you will have at the end of the road: For example if you want to go running at 6 a.m. in the morning and you just don't seem to make it out of bed - imagine how good you will feel when you are at the fitness level that you want to be at and how great you will look. Then jump out of bed, put on your running clothes, and go! Remember: This book will only work if you have the will and the discipline to make it work! What is your word worth? Take your commitments seriously! Because not keeping your commitments has a terrible consequence: you lose energy, you lose clarity, you get confused along the way to your goals, and even worse you lose self-confidence, and your self-esteem takes a hit! To avoid this, you have to become aware of what is really important to you and act in line with your values. A commitment is a choice! Only make commitments that you really want. That can mean fewer commitments and more โNOsโ. If you commit - keep your commitment whatever it takes. Give them the importance and value that they deserve and be aware of the consequences of not keeping them.
Chapter 1: Rewrite your story โChange the way you look at things and the things you look at changeโ Wayne W. Dyer The first time I came in contact with this idea was nearly 25 years ago while reading Jane Robertโs book โSeth speaksโ. Seth says you are the writer, director and main actor of your story. So if you donโt like how the story is playing outโฆchange it! At that time I thought itโs kind of a comforting idea, gave it a try, and have lived by it ever since - in good times and bad times. It doesnโt matter what happened in your past. Your future is a clean sheet! You can reinvent yourself! Every day brings with it the opportunity to start a new life! You get to choose your identity at each and every moment! So who are you going to be? Itโs up to you to decide who you are going to be from this day on. What are you going to do? If you DO some of the things suggested in this book, create new habits, and do just some of the many exercises that you will find here, things will start to shift. Itโs not going to be easy and you will need discipline, patience, and persistence. But the results will come. In 2008, when FC Barcelonaโs coach Josep โPepโ Guardiola took charge of the team that was in a desolate state, he told the 73000 people in attendance in the stadium and the millions of viewers on Catalonian television, in his inauguration speech: โWe canโt promise you titles, what we can promise you is effort and that we will persist, persist, persist until the end. Fasten your seatbelts - we are going to have funโ. This speech started the most successful period in the 115 years history of the club and few people think it can ever be repeated. The team went on to win 3 national championships, 2 national cups, 3 Spanish Supercups, 2 European Supercups, 2 Champions Leagues, and 2 World Club Championships in their 4 years of domination of World football. (If you donโt follow soccer: This is like a mediocre NFL team winning 4 Superbowls in a row). They rewrote their story. Now itโs your turn. Make some effort and persist, persist, persist! Donโt give up! Fasten your seatbelts and have some fun!