Play Safe Club: Recent Episodes

Michael Ukwuma

The Play Safe Club Podcast is a SexED channel and will feature various individuals who will share personal stories and experiences. Knowledge shared is based on facts and research. Our target audience are the youth in Africa.

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A relationship is never really over because we bear the effects it leaves. Are there steps we can take to grow out of a past relationship?


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Consent is a very important aspect of relationships. When should consent be sought? Can consent be withdrawn? Find out in this episode.


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Sex Talking about sex and sexuality could be tiring because it is a broad topic. Asides intercourse, sex is “a label assigned at birth based on the reproductive organs you’re born with.” It’s generally how we divide society into two groups, male and female. Also note that there people born with both male and female reproductive organs. These people are called Intersex (Hermaphrodite is a term that some find offensive.)

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Being bold, ‘dirty talks’, ‘being naughty’. There are a lot of terms are used to describe ways to spice a sexual activity or become kinky. Being sexually dominated, having sex with multiple people at once, watching someone undress without their knowledge. These are just a few of the totally normal sexual fantasies uncovered by recent research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. The overarching takeaway from this survey of about 1,500 Canadian adults is that sexual kink is incredibly common.

While plenty of research has been conducted on sexual fetishes, less is known about the prevalence of particular sexual desires that don’t rise to the level of pathological, that is, don’t harm others or interfere with normal life functioning and aren’t a requisite for getting off.

Reasons why people become kinky

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Teens and peer pressure are a common combination, with peer pressure statistics showing that when teens’ friends ask them to smoke or drink, they are more likely to do so. One peer pressure definition describes it as occurring when a teen does something he or she normally wouldn’t do to fit in with friends.

While peer pressure can be negative and influence a teen to abuse drugs or alcohol, it can also be positive. Different forms of peer pressure can affect teens in varying ways.

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Picture this. You are on a bus and listening to the radio or music using a headset. The bus stops to allow a passenger alight and there comes in a passenger. You look up and sees that they are this person who has come in is very attractive and has the looks of that person you have always dreamed of. The looks, body shape, and dress sense. You stare at them for longer than 10 seconds and suddenly, you find that you can’t get your eyes off of them. Your lips have become wet and you can feel some warmth gently seeping through your body.

This is not the only instance where one can be aroused in a public place. As embarrassing as it may be, we get to experience this from time to time and it is not specific to gender. Anyone can be aroused.

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Sexual behavior, the composite of physiologic, anatomic, and psycho-social factors, is unique in every individual, and therefore, no one definition of sexual behavior is universally accepted. The female sex organs make it possible for women to become pregnant and give birth to children. But they have other important jobs, too: They produce hormones, control the process of girls maturing into grown women, and make sex and sexual pleasure possible. Like men, women have external and internal sex organs.

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Sex can be fun, liberating, and utterly wonderful, but not always. Sometimes it feels like something is missing after sex. Sometimes we think that it shouldn’t have happened or should have been different. Sex means different things to different people. Above all, it is a healthy and natural activity.  It is something most people enjoy and find meaningful even if they create meaning in different ways.

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Sex is the most talked-about, joked about, thought-about issue in popular culture. It is the subject of songs, movies, and even television adverts. Every grown adult is expected to know how to do it, but beyond the basic mechanics we’re not taught about it and fiction is coy. We are not short of information on sexual practices. Thanks to fifty shades of grey. There is a general absence of accurate detail of what happens to our bodies during, and as a result of, the act.

The male sex organs allow men to have children. But they have other important jobs, too: The sex organs produce hormones, control the process of boys maturing into grown men, and make sex and sexual pleasure possible. Like women, men have external and internal sex organs.

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Peer pressure is always tough to deal with, especially when it comes to sex. Some teenagers decide to have sexual relationships because their friends think sex is cool. Others feel pressured by the person they are dating. Still, others find it easier to give in and have sex than to try to explain why not. Some teenagers get caught up in the romantic feelings and believe having sex is the best way they can prove their love. Sexual pressure is when someone tries to make you feel like you should engage in sexual behavior such as:

• Flirting

• Kissing

• Touching

• Rubbing

• Sexual Dancing

• Oral Sex

• Sexual Intercourse

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You come to the point of your where you begin to realize that you are your own individual. The most obvious event in this time of your life is the development of the sexual organs and the discovery of sexual attraction. You will begin to feel things you have never felt before, you will hear about sex and it will feel different to you. You will become inquisitive other things which didn’t matter to you before, one of them is sex. Feel free to get the right information so you can make informed and responsible decisions. Being responsible is one of the bedrocks of being an adult.

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Although teenagers feel that waiting to have sex is a nice idea, they believe that hardly anyone does it. In fact, many teens, particularly boys, feel pressure to have sex, and they say drugs and alcohol usually lead to sex — often without condoms.

Past research has found that social influence is associated with behaviors such as smoking and alcohol use among teenagers. A recent study extended this work and investigated whether three types of social influence predict adolescent sexual behavior:

Peer pressure refers to the explicit and direct social pressure to conform to the demands of a particular group to “fit in.” In this case, adolescents might be motivated to have sex (or not) because they think they will be liked better by their friends, or disliked if they don’t conform to the group.

Thinking Your Friends Approve: Injunctive norms are reflected in one’s beliefs about others’ attitudes towards a particular behavior. For example, an adolescent may believe that their friends approve or disapprove of having sex. The friends are not directly telling the teenager to have sex (that would be peer pressure, see above). Rather, injunctive norms operate indirectly; friends and classmates may simply make it known that they think having sex is okay (or not).

Thinking Your Friends are Doing It: Descriptive norms refer to what one believes others themselves are doing. If a teenager believes that their peers are having sex, then they may be more likely to also engage in sex as a result of role modeling or imitation. Like injunctive norms, it is a less direct form of social influence than explicit peer pressure. To read the full article, click here


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Contraception is defined as the intentional prevention of pregnancy through the use of various methods, are a type of birth control that relies on observations about the woman’s body and menstrual cycle. These methods are sexual practices, chemicals, drugs, or surgical procedures. Thus, any device or act whose purpose is to prevent a woman from becoming pregnant can be considered as a contraceptive.

Natural contraceptive is a method of preventing pregnancy without the use of medications or physical devices. These concepts are based on awareness and observations about a woman’s body and menstrual cycle. Natural methods of contraception are considered “natural” because they are not mechanical and not a result of hormone manipulation. Instead, these methods to prevent pregnancy require that a man and woman not have sexual intercourse during the time when an egg is available to be fertilized by a sperm. Natural methods of contraception are considered “natural” because they are not mechanical and not a result of hormone manipulation. Instead, these methods to prevent pregnancy require that a man and woman not have sexual intercourse during the time when an egg is available to be fertilized by a sperm.

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Puberty occurs in boys just as in girls and has a profound effect on the way they view themselves and their bodies. It ushers the boys into a period, the teenage years. This period is a form of rite of passage into adulthood. Just as in girls, a lot of emotions flood into their minds. Many times, they do not know what to do. A guide with the right information would do them a world of good.

What to expect Sexual and other physical maturation that happens during puberty result from hormonal changes. In boys, it’s hard to know exactly when puberty is coming. There are changes that happen, but they occur slowly over a period of time rather than as a single event.

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Everybody has mood swings and they are a natural part of most people’s lives. We get happy, we get sad. We have a period of feeling on top of the world, and then later on the same day, we feel tired, lethargic, and beaten down. Small mood swings are a part of most people’s lives.

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There comes a time in the life of every organism on the face of this planet where they reproduce and bring forth new life. This is essential for the continual survival of that organism. For reproduction to take place, changes take place in the body of the organism, to prepare it to take on this role of procreation. These changes make the body mature and able to take on this daunting task. These changes are evidenced by the release of hormones (chemicals produced by the body to help the body in many of its life processes), the maturing of certain body parts, and certain behaviours that will be exhibited by the organism to show that it is ready to reproduce.

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Oral sex: Oral sex is using your mouth and tongue to stimulate your partner’s genitals or anus. Oral sex can be given to any of the sexes. A man’s penis does not need to be erect for you to start oral sex (a blow job) but you may want to use your hand to arouse him first. If you hold his penis during oral sex, you can control how deep it goes into your mouth. You can move your hand allowing the penis to go as far into your mouth as you are comfortable with.

A man’s penis is highly sensitive, so be gentle at first and slowly work up to a faster pace. You can try different tongue, mouth, and head movements to see what works best but never use your teeth unless asked.

When you give a man oral sex you can stop at any time and it’s up to you to decide if you want to let him ejaculate (or cum) in your mouth. Of course, if he’s wearing a condom this isn’t an issue, and it means you will both be protected against sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Before you begin giving a woman oral sex, she may enjoy it if you spend some time kissing and touching her upper thighs and the area around her vagina first, to help her get aroused.

The whole genital area is sensitive, but for most women, the clitoris (with its 8,000 nerve endings) is the most sensitive part. Gently part the outer lips of the vagina and look for the vaginal opening and the hooded clitoris just above it.

Start off softly, using a relaxed tongue to make slow movements and work up to faster movements with a firmer tongue. You can experiment with moving your tongue in different ways and try different rhythms – taking cues from your partner to find out what she enjoys most.

Giving oral-anal sex (rimming)? To read the full article, click here...


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The female reproductive system is a complex one. The major phenomenon being the Menstrual cycle. The menstrual cycle is a group of many different phases which prepares a woman’s body to become pregnant. It makes the uterus fertile, releasing hormones and eggs for the fertilization to take place. This article shall focus on the some things about this life-giving phenomenon in girls which many men take for granted.

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For many men around the world, one very personal subject has often been a cause for worry: the size of their penis. These concerns are caused by many things, including the number of false ideas there are about:

  • what the average penis size is
  • how important penis size is to sex
  • what penis size means to how you feel like a man

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Love is involuntary.  Brain science tells us it’s a drive like a thirst.  It’s a craving for a specific person.  Love, like thirst, will make you do strange things. It’s a natural addiction and treating it as addiction can help you. We were built to fall in love. The ancient Greeks called love “the madness of the gods.”  Modern psychologists define it as a strong desire for emotional union with another person.  But what, actually, is love.  It means so many different things to different people. Songwriters have described it, “Whenever you’re near, I hear a symphony.” Shakespeare said, “Love is blind and lovers cannot see.”  Aristotle said, “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”

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It is not news that the male ego is a fragile one and once in a while, they need reassurances. Sex and anxiety go together like socks and flip-flops; i.e. not well at all. Men feel a bit insecure, whether they are aware of this or not. When it comes to the bedroom, however, men are particularly prone to doubting themselves. Unfortunately, sexual insecurities can have a devastating effect on their sex lives, relationships and self-esteem.

We tend to think women are the only ones who experience major body insecurities, but new research has found that’s just not the case. The Chapman University study analyzed reports from more than 100,000 men across five national studies and discovered that up to 40 percent of men were dissatisfied with their overall physical appearance, weight, and/or muscle tone and size.

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Foreplay has a reputation as a warm-up or leads into sex, the appetizer to the main course—which is intercourse. But maybe it’s time we stop thinking about it in such an old-school way. After all, only 30% of women can reach orgasm from penis-in-vagina penetration alone. It’s the moves we typically think of as foreplay—clitoral stroking, deep kissing, and oral sex that bring most women to the heights of pleasure.

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Sexuality, among other things, is an individual choice. It is the portrayal of our sexual attractions and inclinations. It is in this limelight, we should understand the many diversity the LGBTQIA+ community portrays and welcomes in her fold. An understanding of this diversity will clear a lot of doubts cast on those who identify themselves as one thing or another and hopefully, lift off a lot of the biases.

What the letters in LGBTQIA+ stand for...

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Has it ever occurred to you to have sex in public or is it something you have done? This is something not restricted to an age range, surprisingly, persons from any age group have considered sometimes: the college teacher who has sex in the back of the school, the taxi driver and his partner in his taxi, an over-ambitious man having a go in a stadium after a football match. These are possible scenarios where and they happen all around us. When you think of the appeal of public sex, the first thing that comes to mind is the thrill of getting caught, the excitement of giving in your passion with recourse to the rules of decency, or just simple convenience.

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Let’s talk about sex. Or more to the point, let’s talk about women’s role in gender disparity in issues of sex and fair play. Maybe it’s time we picked up a shard of glass from the so-called glass ceilings purportedly breaking around the world and use it as a lens to examine myths we’ve operated under for too long. I believe awareness is always the first step to meaningful change. My hope is to raise perspectives that you may or may not have considered before, to allow you to peer through the looking glass, without falling down the rabbit hole, to make informed choices about how you want to negotiate your sex life.

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Men and women are basically entirely different species.A girl may say she hangs with the guys more than her girlfriends or a guy may in fact be more sensitive than the average, however, they are still from completely different and separate planets. One of the biggest relationship deal-breakers is cheating. Whether it was a onetime fling or a long-term relationship, many persons find it very difficult to forgive, and nearly impossible to forget an act of infidelity. So who in a relationship is more selfish, the girl or the guy?

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The argument is that a woman does not experience orgasm and is only satisfied by the thrusting motions of the man during sexual intercourse. Some have suggested that the size of the penis is also a contributing factor to sexual satisfaction for women. Yet others still claim that a woman cannot reach orgasm by penetrative sex alone but can be assisted by oral methods and masturbation. Well, let us find out if this is true.

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Insecurity pops up but should not be a stumbling block to having a wonderful sex life and relationship. In fact, if you talk to most women about the insecurities with which they struggle during sex, there’s a good chance you’ll get more than an earful from both genders. While both genders have their struggles, women, even more so, deal with insecurities. In a society that dictates how a woman should look, smell, and act, it’s hard not to have our brains overloaded with apprehension, fear, and anxiety. But of all the insecurities, there are some that are far more common than others.

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Ever get goosebumps when a partner touches a certain part of your body? Congratulations! Your body is covered in highly sensitive areas you may never have even thought to explore. Stimulating these areas can lead to sexual response, which means you’re in for a satisfying time. These erogenous zones, as they’re called, can contribute to sexual arousal. Think of them as the road map to your pleasure zones for you or your partner. You can certainly stimulate the clit externally, but you can also go for a little indirect. We all know that keeping up healthy sex life in the long-term. But where, exactly, are your erogenous zones? And how can you play with them during foreplay and sex? These zones are almost identical in men and women. Let us explore them.

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People use contraception for a range of reasons. In this article, let us talk about the benefits of contraception, including individual, community, and societal benefits. Contraception can be used to plan when women and couples have children and how many children they have. This includes choosing

  • when they want to begin having children
  • how far apart they want their children to be
  • when they want to stop having children.

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Sex is one of the most intimate things you can do with another person. But talking about it can be a lot harder than you imagined. You might imagine that your partner will feel bad or feel insecure or it is just a no-go area to talk about. Maybe you’ve had mismatched libidos for a long time and need to find a way of dealing with it. Perhaps you’re struggling with getting an erection or finding sex painful. Or maybe you just want to spice things up – and all the hinting you’ve been doing has been getting you nowhere!

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Contraceptives are the various drugs, techniques, or devices which are used to prevent pregnancy. Hence they are birth control methods that try to stop this happening by:

  • keeping the egg and sperm apart
  • stopping egg production
  • stopping the combined sperm and egg (fertilized egg) attaching to the lining of the womb.

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