Therapy Thursday: Recent Episodes
TJ Thomas
Join TJ Thomas, a clinical mental health therapist, every Thursday for quick and accessible lessons and tips about therapy and emotional health. Learning about therapy has never been easier! Check out TJ's Instagram @tjcounseling for more therapy and mental health content. ... *Disclaimer: Podcast episodes are meant for educational purposes only. They are not therapy, and should not be used to replace any therapy, medication, or other mental health services recommended by your licensed mental health care professional.
Every June we hear the same questions - why do we have pride month? Why does this matter? Why isn’t there a straight month? In today’s episode I hope to highlight one main reason why I believe Pride is still so important in 2024.
There are lots of pieces of advice that sound good (like “never go to bed angry”) that actually might not be as solid of advice as we thought.
When you’re starting your therapy journey, it can be overwhelming trying to find a therapist. Finding the right therapist for you can be even more so. Trust me when I say you shouldn’t just go for the first therapist you find. You need to make sure it is the right fit for you and what you are looking for.
There is a subtle but important difference between an excuse and an explanation, and it primarily comes down to where responsibility is placed.
The best therapists should be constantly losing their jobs, because it means they’ve done what they were hired to do.
Communication is at the heart of ALL relationships, and miscommunication is often at the heart of many relationship problems. This hack can be a game changer for improving your communication skills!
Forgiveness is hard, and we sometimes make it harder by expecting it to be something that it’s not.
Attention is a limited resource that must be budgeted and spent much like our money. And what you spend your attention on makes a big impact on your mental health.
Don’t wait for the deathbed, the wedding, the Thanksgiving dinner, or any other big moment, to share how you feel with the people you love.
As we head into the holidays, it can help remove a lot of disappointment or frustration if you just expect the expected.
When we say that we “can’t” do something, that statement is almost never actually true. And recognizing what is the actual truth of the matter will create a much more empowering decision.
Life is about choosing which “hard” you prefer, and one of those choices is often between discomfort and resentment.
Absolute, black and white, all or nothing thinking, can be a very big problem for both relationships and individuals. In this episode, we look at where these thoughts are actually coming from and what we can do about them.
I don’t really love the advice that we give to people to “do your best.” Sometimes the pressure to do your best gets to be too much, and when people feel like they can’t do their best, they choose to do nothing.
Sometimes the pain caused by an unmet expectation is far worse than the experience itself. But the good news is that this "expectation pain" is optional!
If you are always struggling to make decisions because you are so concerned about making "the right choice" then I have some good news for you: there is no such thing!
Did you know it is 100% guaranteed that there is something you believe to be true that you are wrong about? Whether it's something scientifically that we just don't know enough about yet, or a narrative belief about yourself or the way you fit int he world, we all have beliefs that are wrong, and that are holding us back.
Sometimes we just don't feel motivated to follow through with things we have committed to. (Like, for me, today, recording this podcast.) And that's okay! In this episode we talk about why re-evaluating your initial reasons for committing to things is important to decide if it still aligns with your values, and how switching the way you think about motivation can help you get started.
Where we pay our attention has a drastic impact on the quality of our life, so make sure you are paying attention with intention!
Nothing is permanent. This might hit you as good news or bad news, depending on how you look at it. But the truth is that accepting this fact can drastically improve your overall happiness and life satisfaction, according to multiple studies.
Many people come to therapy feeling that they are "not enough" or "not good enough." But "enough" is subjective. And rarely do we stop to ask ourselves - "Good enough at what?"
The phrase "I just want you to be happy" is commonly used in all sorts of relationships, but it can sometimes be the very thing getting in the way of real happiness, particularly when two people have very different ideas of what "happy" means.
To celebrate Pride Month, today we are breaking down 3 common myths about LGBTQ+ people: that it isn't natural, that science doesn't support it, and that there are more now than before. Happy Pride!
If you've been putting off a project or change because you are worried about how long it will take, I like to remember this principle from today's episode: the time is going to pass anyway, so why not just start?
Did you know that getting punched in the face is a neutral situation? In this episode we break down why situations are neutral, and how our thoughts/opinions create meaning and feelings for us, using this rather painful example!
Problems are an inescapable part of life (and actually, something that our brain craves!) So instead of trying to get rid of or avoid all problems, let's try upgrading our problems to better ones, or problems that we'd rather be solving.
Many people (myself included) start therapy thinking that if they go for a while, they will have some sudden eureka-breakthrough type moment. The hard truth, however, is that therapy is not about sudden breakthroughs. It's about slow maintenance, and that can be boring sometimes.
I know that question is one of the biggest there is, but in this episode we explore who God is to each one of us by learning about the difference between a god-concept versus a god-image, and how exploring the two sides of our understanding of god can lead to a more fulfilling relationship with our faith and religious beliefs.
Every time a mass shooting happens, the same debate is sparked: what is to blame for this awful and continuing crisis? With yet another school shooting recently, and the predicable uptick of blaming the shooter's mental health, we are breaking down the truth about mental health as it relates to gun violence in America.
It's really easy to get down on ourselves when we are feeling stuck, or like we aren't making the progress we'd hoped for. This episode is all about reminding you of the progress you have made, the good you are doing, and the signs that you are probably doing better than you give yourself credit for!
There are a lot of "shoulds" that we pile onto ourselves. But you can stop and question them with a simple "says who?" You'll find that much of the time, it's just completely made up, and no one is actually holding you to that standard other than your own perceptions.
Burnout has become more and more common in our world of constant hustle. And by the time burnout hits, it's really hard to get out of it. Like so many things in life, prevention is really the best policy.
We all have qualities or characteristics that we hope to be - kind, loyal, smart, funny, etc. But it's important to ask ourselves whether we care more about actually being that trait, or just that other people perceive us as having that trait?
Your whole life you've probably heard some version of - "Don't care what other people think!" And it sounds like good advice. At first. But it pretty quickly starts to break down in real life. In this episode we discuss why what other people think about you actually does matter, why you should care about it, and how do care about it in a more healthy way.
After a sickness-related hiatus, we are coming back and talking about an experience I had losing my voice, and how it opened my eyes to the issues we have with accessibility in our society.
Our brains have a strong bias towards remembering our failures with much more detail and clarity than our successes, and a nasty habit of bringing them to the front of our minds at the worst times. In today's episode we talk about why that is and what you can do about it!
We have all experienced driving down the road when someone is going either waaaaay too slow or dangerously fast. And as we pass them (or they pass us) we have a seemingly uncontrollable urge to look over and see who the other driver was. In today's episode we talk about that urge and what it is doing for our brains.
This New Years, instead of adding yet another goal that probably won't last til February and then leaving you feeling guilty for not accomplishing it, try setting an anti-resolution by choosing something from your life to get rid of, rather than trying to add another new thing.
Being "unsurprised" this Holiday season is a great way to break cycles. You know the topics that will stir up problems. You know the family members that will do/say something a bit out in left field. So be unsurprised by that, and take your power back.
Holiday traditions can be lots of fun, but they can also be a huge headache. When the downsides and costs of continuing a tradition outweighs the benefits, it is time to move on. In this episode we talk about why and how this happens.
I come to you for this very special episode live from a traffic jam to put into practice the SOFAR model that we have discussed on previous episodes! Let’s take a look at this real world example of implementing the model.
There are a LOT of myths and straight up lies that have been circulating for a long time about gender affirming care. So today we are setting the record straight with facts and studies, not fear and hunches.
We hear all the time about how gratitude can improve our mood, but did you know it can also improve your physical health? The psychological principles behind why this happens are fascinating. Check it out on this week's Thanksgiving episode!
Today we address a commonly held belief amongst many religious groups, political parties, businesses, etc - that a person will not be able to be truly happy if they leave the group. It's a dangerous belief that not only harms the person leaving, but can seriously limit our own happiness as well.
Where does anger come from? Why do we feel it so intensely? Is it good or bad? Is it always a secondary emotions? There are a lot of questions to explore about anger on today's episode.
Have you ever wondered why empaths seem to only take on the "negative" emotions around them, rather than attune to all the people with more positive emotions they meet? In this episode we talk all about empaths, where this skill comes from, and why they are more likely to take on other people's sadness, distress, etc, rather than people's happiness or joy.
We all get it wrong sometimes. The most common seems to be when we project our views, understandings, opinions, cultures, etc, onto other people. It helps reduce a lot of conflict and stress when you just communicate with someone about a perceived wrongdoing rather than assume they did it intentionally.
TikTok and other social media have done a great job at increasing the amount we talk about mental health and therapy. Unfortunately, that has also increased the amount of false information about mental health and therapy. And considering GenZ use TikTok to search for information more than Google, that leads to a lot of incorrect and dangerous self-diagnosing.
In this episode we dive into why validation is so important to us, how we so often get it wrong, and offer tips on how to do it better. Learning how to better validate people's emotions (including your own) can be a key step in improving overall mental health!
Gaslighting has become a very popular phrase to be thrown around during arguments, but most of the time I hear it being used, it is being used incorrectly. Gaslighting is not just lying or remembering events differently. In this episode we discuss exactly what gaslighting is, what it is not, and how you can tell the difference.
If you've ever heard someone say "Well that's just how I am because I'm from New York" or "I'm a Scorpio so I can't help it" or anything like that, to justify misbehavior or mistreating other people, we need to put a stop to that. No more excuses.
Despite experiencing mental health concerns at the same rate as women, men are significantly less likely to seek help or treatment for it. In this episode, we talk about how big a problem that actually is, and one shift of thinking that might help.
Sleep is one of the closest links between our physical health and mental/emotional health. In addition to good sleep health habits, knowing your chronotype can also help you improve your sleep health, and thus improve your mental health.
September is National Suicide Awareness & Prevention month, so on today's episode we talk about suicide's warning signs, risk indicators, protective factors, and more, including what you can do specifically if you fear someone in your life is contemplating suicide. For immediate assistance, dial 988 to be connected with the suicide hotline and mental health emergency services in your area.
Many people wonder what is the difference between setting a boundary versus trying to control someone. The short answer is this: boundaries are focused on your life, control is focused on other peoples' lives. Listen to find out more.
As important as feelings are, they are not everything. This week we talk specifically about what feelings are not, and what are their limitations.
In the world of therapy, we do a lot of work about our thoughts - which is a good thing! But in our efforts we sometimes take the talk about thoughts a little too far. So today let's talk about the things that thoughts are not: thoughts are not facts, thoughts are not our identity, and thoughts are not completely in our control.
Some very exciting news this week: I have officially launched my private practice and am accepting new clients! Head to tjcounselicg.com to find out more!
Now the sad news: I am not accepting insurance. In this episode I talk about why that is, and how insurance companies are making access to mental health care so difficult.
In this episode we cover the basics of thinking in opposites, a.k.a. "dialectical thinking." It's a very important mental health skill that is widely applicable to almost every client I've ever worked with.
A lot of my friends and clients feel like overthinking is causing their anxiety. It shocks them to learn that it actually might be under thinking that is causing their anxiety! Find out why.
In a new Therapy Thursday feature, we are reviewing the book "The Gap and the Gain" by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy.
I have 3 levels of "allyship" to help you be a better ally to LGBTQ+ people in your life, depending on where you are starting from.
Sometimes in our attempts to help someone who is going through pain, grief, or loss, we end up unintentionally saying the exact wrong thing. These are 3 of the most common ones.
In the wake of the Roe v Wade decision, we need to discuss the importance of self determination in health care.
Every kid gets asked the question - "what do you want to be when you grow up?" But what would happen if we altered that question to ask a kid what kind of person they want to be, rather than what job they want to have?
Let's take a crash course on attachment styles - a foundational theory of therapy used in a wide variety of cases, which helps us better understand how we function in relationships.
It's been said that any virtue taken to an extreme becomes a vice. This is what we discuss today within the context of toxicity, and how things like "toxic positivity" and "toxic masculinity" can come to be.
Pride month brings up a lot of feelings for people, some positive and some not. In this episode, I try to answer some of the questions people might have about why Pride matters, and why it's so important to LGBTQ+ people.
It's important to not throw around terms like "toxic" at every little thing that bothers us. But it's equally important to be able to identify when something or someone actually is, truly, toxic. Unfortunately, there isn't a DSM5 diagnosis for "toxicity." So in this episode we break down a few ways to identify when a behavior or person may be considered "toxic" in my opinion.
We, as a society, have developed a bad habit of overusing and misusing terms like "toxic," "gaslighting," "trauma response," and more. We need to pull the reins on these terms being thrown around or we risk creating a boy-who-cried-wolf situation.
If you are following along with the Johnny Depp v. Amber Heard trial, you likely have heard about Borderline Personality Disorder and Histrionic Personality Disorder. So let's examine what these personality disorders are exactly, what they mean, and what they don't.
Lately, more and more studies are proving just how closely linked our mental and emotional health are to our gut health. So let's examine why this is, and what we can do to improve our gut health, which in turn can improve our mental and emotional health!
Dialectical thinking (basically, being able to hold two seemingly opposite truths at the same time) is a key therapy skill, so let's practice it!
This episode is different from what we normally do. Instead of sharing a quick therapy tip or insight, I wanted to get vulnerable about what has been going on in my life, to not only shed light on what I feel is an important issue, but also to demonstrate how everyone deals with mental health struggles, and it's okay to be vulnerable about that.
A common concern for people in therapy is not wanting lose the "real" them, or wanting to find a way back to the "real" them. But what does this actually mean? Is there actually a "real" you in the first place? Let's find out.
With all the LGBTQ+ related legislation going on, I want to take a minute and discuss what an ally is, and how looking at being an ally as being an accomplice can help create a bigger impact.
Unfortunately the English language doesn't have a good word for what we mean when we talk about things that are "anti-fragile." So in this episode we explain what we are talking about, and how it impacts our mental and emotional health.
Yes, it's a Taylor Swift lyric, and maybe a bit cliche, but the staggering truth that you are literally the only one of you who has ever and will ever live on the planet has some pretty massive mental health implications to help increase acceptance and self-love and abolish shame.
Although they might seem very closely connected, there is a very important difference between fault and responsibility, especially when it comes to our mental health.
A lot of people come to therapy hoping to learn how to eliminate pain from their life. That isn't the point. In fact, the very act of trying to avoid, distract, or numb pain is usually what is causing the most pain in the first place.
Driving is a gold mine for metaphors related to mental health, especially because almost every person on the planet can relate to experiences of driving. Lets dive in to a few of them this week, including one of my favorites: driving slow in bad road conditions.
Our chance to achieve something is directly correlated to our willingness to feel its opposite. Sounds complex, but it's actually pretty simple, and incredibly important to know, so let's break it down.
What? The Anti-Golden Rule? How dare you!? I know, I know. But hear me out. Treating others the way you wish to be treated isn't actually as simple of advice as you might think. Here's why.
In the Season 2 kick-off episode, we discuss what are called "meta feelings", aka feelings about feelings, and how they often get in the way of our mental and emotional health.
100th episode!!! Let's talk all about fear - where it comes from, what it does in the body, and what we can do about it.
I know this sounds backwards for a therapist to say, but bear with me, listen to the episode and see what you think. Because sometimes the pressure to set resolutions actually does more harm than good.
Avoid these 3 simple mistakes that a lot of people make when setting their New Year's Resolutions, and you'll be much better off in 2022!
Let's talk about one of our favorite holiday baddies - The Grinch! We give him some possible diagnoses, and discuss how we can all get a bit Grinchy during the holidays.
A simple shift of perspective can make a world of difference in the way we empathize with others, and even with ourselves!
Where we place our value can have a significant impact on our mental health, specifically whether the value systems are internally or externally focused.
In this viewer-requested episode, we break down the fundamentals of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, why it gets thrown around so wildly, and the oft-misunderstood origins of narcissism.
We sit down and talk with Calli (from the very popular YouTube show The King of Random) about her mental health journey, including medications, new diagnoses, and how it has impacted her work in the public eye. Enjoy!
Sometimes the absolute hardest people to set boundaries with are our families, and nothing brings out the complexities of family dynamics like going home for the holidays. Use these tips to navigate the often tricky business of setting assertive boundaries with family while still showing love and compassion.
Whether in wars between nations or battles between people, having a set of ground rules for fighting fair can help any conflict be safer and more productive. The tips in this episode can go a long way to making your arguments less divisive and more constructive.
Stacey Harkey, the brilliant funny-man who was part of the original cast of Studio C, JK Studios, and on NBC's "Bring the Funny" talks about his experiences with mental health, boundaries, nuance in thinking, and much more.
Stress does some very interesting and important things on a biological level. Unfortunately, if we sit in the stress for too long, it can start to do damage.
I work with clients facing a wide variety of addictions, but the most common one is an addiction to validation. In this episode we discuss what that looks like, why it is harmful, and how we can fix it.
Originally shared on Instagram on November 4, 2021.
I got to chat with my friend Lauren Hunter about her experiences dealing with mental health concerns, including the process of her divorce, emotionally abusive relationships, finding the right therapist, and learning about being vulnerable.
A liminal zone is a place between places. A transition, or in-between state. They show up in the real world all the time, but can be a real challenge when we face emotional/mental liminal zones.
It can be a very difficult thing learning we are wrong. Especially if being right plays a big role in how you see your value. So let's examine some of the more lighthearted and simple ways that we have been wrong about things we assumed to be true for years, and how it applies to mental health.
In our first Therapy Thursday bonus interview I got to sit down with my incredibly talented friend Elle McLemore to talk about her journey with eating disorders and self worth while working in the entertainment industry.
Multiple studies have shown repeatedly how closely our physical health and mental health are associated. But far too often we take care of one while ignoring the other. In this episode we examine what studies say is the best way to get mental health benefits from physical activity.
About a month ago I was fortunate to be a keynote speaker at the Affirmation International Conference. Affirmation is a group helping LGBTQ+ members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints. This podcast contains the audio of my address. Although it is primarily aimed at the LDS/LGBTQ audience, I hope that everyone will find it helpful and insightful as we learn to better understand and love each other.
Often as people start their therapy or healing journey and begin to separate themselves from unhealthy relationships or systems, they will experience backlash from the people still in those systems. This is a normal part of the growth process, but it can be uncomfortable and scary.
We throw the phrase "I can't" around far too frequently, when in fact the majority of the time, the things we say that we "can't" do are actually just things that we won't do, don't want to do, or understand will be harmful for us and so choose not to do. And although saying "can't" can help us feel more comfortable, it actually limits our own power. Taking that power back is huge for your mental health.
So many clients I meet with are trying to make a change happen in their lives. But far too often they are trying to motivate this change coming from a place of hating themselves or their current situation. Hate is a terrible and weak motivator. Here's why.
Although a lesson in linguistics may not be what you expect when discussing mental health, there are actually a lot of things we can learn from the way we structure our words and how that makes us view the world.
Developing the skill to have nuance in thinking pays huge dividends in mental and emotional health. And, incidentally, it's important to keep in mind when learning about something as personal as mental health on a platform as broad as social media or a podcast.
There is a crazy paradox in the mental health game, where we find that the more we allow ourselves to let go of control, the more control we actually have. Let's examine why this happens and how you can practice letting go of control.
If you've listened to past episodes, you've probably heard me talking about how important thought choices are to get the results in life that we want. But how exactly do we choose our thoughts when they seem so automatic and fast? Here is a simple 3 step approach to get started, by checking your E.G.O.
There is something very interesting that happens when a person's vulnerability is made public - whether due to a death, sickness, tragedy, or disaster - we see people rally together to help the person. I believe that we can create that same sense of love, support, community, and belonging, but without the need for tragedy or heartache, by simply choosing to be more public with our vulnerability.
By far one of my most requested topics for episodes is about boundaries. So in this episode we continue the conversation from previous episodes, and specifically discuss how to communicate healthy boundaries and what to do when those boundaries aren't respected.
As a therapist with LGBTQ+ clients, and as an LGBTQ+ person myself, I often hear the concern presented (usually by parents) that it's "just a phase." The majority of the time, this is coming from parents or loved ones who are worried about their child/family member, and who only want what is best for them. So let's discuss the implications of what would happen even if something was "just a phase" so we can figure out how to best show love and support for everyone.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
If you've been following the Olympics at all this week, you probably heard about Simone Biles withdrawing from the final events due to mental health concerns. Let's talk about what this means and why it is such a big deal.
Follow TJ on Instagram @tjcounseling for more mental health resources.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Learning how to get curious about our emotions the way a scientist is curious about specimens under a microscope helps us not only understand them better, but actually helps us regain emotional control.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
If you've ever used "reverse psychology," you've been taking advantage of the principle of Psychological Reactance. But what exactly is it, and how can understanding it improve our mental health and relationships? Let's explore!
Join me on Instagram @tjcounseling for more mental health content!
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
One question I've been asked frequently when people are starting their mental health journey is about the difference between a therapist and a life coach, and which one they should go to. So let's take a look!
Follow my Instagram @tjcounseling for more mental health and therapy tips!
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Have you ever wished you could make something happen by just thinking about it? Well the expectancy effect is probably as close to that real world supper power that you can get, and the crazy thing is we use it every day!
Originally shared July 1, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
It might sound too good to be true (because, spoiler, it is), but here are 3 sure-fire, never-fail, guaranteed ways to avoid all current, future, and potential rejection or abandonment!
Originally shared June 24, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
In honor of Pride Month, let's talk about three common mistakes I hear people making (with the best of intentions, I'm sure) when a loved one comes out, and three easy positive things you can say instead.
Originally shared June 17, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
I have a lot of clients coming to me with self-diagnosed "addictions." After digging, I very often find that these are actually just habits. So why do so many people jump to the addiction label, and why does it matter?
Originally shared June 10, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
What does our discomfort have to do with our habits? Well, to put it simply, most of our bad habits are developed to avoid discomfort. So let's talk about why this happens and what we can do about it.
Originally shared June 3, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is also known as EMDR (and thank goodness for abbreviations, that is a mouthful). It is a very powerful therapeutic modality. If you've had questions about what it is, or been recommended to try it for yourself, here is some helpful information on what it's all about.
Originally shared May 27, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
I've discussed in past episodes how acting like a toddler when they are in their "why?" phase can be very helpful for mental health. Let's dive in deeper with a common example of how this principle can be used.
Originally shared May 20, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
We often hear "scarcity mindset" talked about when referring to money. But there are deep emotional principles behind the scarcity mentality, and if we understand them, we can control them.
Originally shared May 13, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
I hear statements like this all the time in sessions - "I don't want to complain, other people have it worse." I even shared a TikTok that went mini-viral about it. So why does this resonate so much with so many people?
Originally shared May 6, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
The Office is undeniably on of TV's most popular and most-quoted shows. But what can it teach us about mental and emotional health? Well let's take a few pages from the book of everyone's favorite Assistant to the Regional Manager.
Originally shared April 29, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
It can be very uncomfortable or downright embarrassing for many of us to ask for help. Much of our society tells us that self-sufficiency is more important than anything else. But lets work to normalize the fact that we all need help sometimes.
Originally shared April 22, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Sounds crazy right? The idea that bad habits actually have benefits? Well let's take a closer look and see what those bad habits are all about.
Originally shared April 15, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Parkinson's Law states that any work will expand to fill the time allotted to it. Is this true? If so, how can we use it to our advantage when it comes to our mental health?
Originally shared April 8, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
As the world continues to make progress in the LGBTQ+ sphere, the unfortunate truth is that transgender people continue to face a very difficult battle. In this episode, I hope to help in whatever small way I can through education.
Originally shared April 1, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
We all spend a huge amount of time worrying about what other people are thinking. But not only is that usually unhelpful, it's actually downright impossible.
Originally shared March 25, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
What is codependency exactly? It is sort of a buzz-word that gets thrown around couples and relationships, but what does it really mean and what can we do about it?
Originally shared March 18, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Language has always fascinated me, and in this episode we dive in to how subtle shifts in language and word choice can make a big difference for your mental and emotional health.
Originally shared March 11, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
I probably should have planned better and saved this topic for October, but I love the analogy of haunted houses when thinking about how we face our fears. So let's dive in.
Originally shared March 4, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
You've probably heard the old adage, "You can't pour from an empty cup." But I see so many clients trying to do this. Let's examine how self-care actually enables you to be more helpful and healthy in the long run.
Originally shared February 25, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
One of the most basic tenants of therapeutic work is learning how to shift our perspectives around what happens to us in our life. This isn't about being delusional or rose-colored glasses - it's about harnessing the power to control your world.
Originally shared February 18, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
If you are familiar with the world of improv, you might know one of the cardinal rules is to use "yes, and..." in scenes. But this principle is also incredibly helpful in therapy to dissect our emotional needs.
Originally shared February 11, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Confirmation bias impacts almost every aspect of our day to day life. Let's examine where it comes up, why it affects us so much, and what we can do to minimize the negative impacts of it.
Originally shared February 4, 2021 on Instagram
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Rejection is a very hard, but very unavoidable, part of life. But understanding ourselves and why rejection hurts can actually help to soften the blow.
Originally shared January 28, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
We have talked a lot about how important and helpful therapy can be. But the very beginning process of finding a therapist who works for you can be overwhelming. So let's dive in to help de-mystify the process.
Originally shared January 21, 2021 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Autism is a diagnosis that almost everyone knows about, but very few people actually understand what it means. Let's dive in to better understanding what autism really is, and also what it is not.
Originally shared January 14, 2021 on Instagram @tjcousneling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Just like loans, emotions can accrue interest rates. Unfortunately, this often means that when we put off our emotional needs for a later date, we end up paying a lot more than if we had just dealt with it up front.
Originally shared on January 7, 20201 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
It's New Years Eve, which means resolutions. But so many of us set resolutions that we end up breaking within the first two months of the new year. Here is a great hack you can use to really stick with your resolutions!
Originally shared December 31, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Here's just a short message to enjoy on Christmas Eve. Stay well!
Originally shared on December 24, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Although perfectionism is often joked about as the cliche go-to answer for that "What is your biggest weakness" question at a job interview, perfectionism is actually a really big issue for many people's mental health.
Originally shared December 17, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
This is a wonderful analogy for anxiety and depression that comes from Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I'm fully aware that I'm outing myself as a total nerd, but stick with me because it's a great analogy!
Originally shared December 10, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
One things I often hear from people considering therapy is that they can just talk to their friends about their problems, so they don't need a therapist. Let's talk about the many important differences between what friends and therapists can offer you.
Originally shared December 3, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
This is a classic scripture verse that many people can quote. But what does it mean when applied to the world of mental health?
Originally shared November 26, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
The phrase "everything happens for a reason" is very comforting to a lot of people. But for others it can be very problematic.
Originally shared November 19, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Learning to set healthy boundaries is one of the most key, foundational principles in most therapy work. So let's dive in to it!
Originally shared November 12, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
There are a lot of things that can trip us up in relationships. Unfortunately, more often than not, it is our own faulty thinking. So here is one quick reality check that will hopefully help you find more happiness in your relationships.
Originally shared October 29, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
I learned this old Chinese proverb when I was in elementary school. But now, as a therapist, it has taken on new meaning and provided new lessons.
Originally shared October 22, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
PTSD is a very complex diagnosis, and it applies to more than just combat veterans. Learning more about it can help you to identify it and know how to better help those dealing with it.
Originally shared October 15, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
If you've been around the therapy or mental health space for a while, you've probably heard the phrase "anger is a secondary emotion." Let's examine what that actually means, and what it means for your mental health.
Originally shared October 8, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
It sounds like a funny term, but "shoulding" on yourself is actually a very serious problem when it comes to mental health. It creates all sorts of hang ups. Let's discuss.
Originally shared October 1, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
I love paradoxes. They are fascinating to me. And lucky for me, mental health is full of them! Let's find out how we can take advantage of these paradoxes to improve mental health.
Originally shared September 24, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
You may have heard of a "Finsta" but have you heard of a "Hinsta"? It's a social media hack to reduce anxiety and depression!
Originally shared September 17, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
You've probably heard the question "WWJD". But you may not have heard the answer "HWLF". What does it stand for and how can we apply it? Let's discuss.
Originally shared September 10, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Just like diversifying bloodlines and investments creates stability and safety, diversifying your identity is one key to emotional safety and stability.
Originally shared September 3, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Dealing with our emotions can be tricky. And unfortunately it's something they don't teach in schools (but don't get me started on that). So here is a quick and easy lesson to managing emotions more effectively.
Originally shared August 27, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
In this episode, I walk you through a quick session of one of my favorite mindfulness exercises - the body scan.
Originally shared August 20, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Bipolar disorder is another one that gets misused a lot as an insult or to describe things like the weather. But not many people know what bipolar disorder actually means.
Originally shared August 6, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
You've probably heard it in cliche breakup scenes: "it's not you, it's me." Well, that's actually true for most of life.
Originally shared July 30, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Apologies are a vital part of relationships, but sometimes they go horribly wrong. Here are tips for how to both give and receive apologies the right way.
Originally shared July 23, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is one of the most commonly misunderstood diagnoses. For example, OCD has nothing to do with liking things clean. Let's learn what it actually is about.
Originally shared July 16, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounsling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
When we internalize the things that happen around us, and that people say or think about us, we create an undue strain on our mental health.
Originally shared July 9, 2020 on Instagram, @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
There are three key components that make up every relationship we have. I'll give you a hint: they probably aren't what you are thinking.
Originally shared July 2, 2020 on Instagram, @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
We spend a huge amount of time and effort trying to avoid discomfort. But learning how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable gives you a new level of power.
Originally shared June 25, 2020
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Many people tell me how difficult it is for them to stay motivated. Use this hack to tap into unlimited motivation!
Originally shared June 18, 2020 on Instagram, @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
The pain that comes from unmet expectations often is often worse than the pain of the actual circumstance. The good news is that means you can easily remove that pain by removing the expectation.
Originally shared June 11, 2020 on Instagram, @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
You might be surprised how some of life's biggest bummers can actually turn out to be huge blessings!
Originally shared May 28, 2020 on Instagram, @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Sometimes self-care gets a bad rep as being selfish, but self care is a huge, vital part of mental health.
Originally shared May 21, 2020 on Instagram, @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
While sometimes we use the terms shame and guilt interchangeably, they are in fact hugely different, and using one over the other can be a game changer for our emotional health.
Originally shared May 15, 2020 on Instagram, @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
There are so many things in life that we tell ourselves are "supposed to" go a certain way. But not only are those "supposed to"s made up, they can seriously mess with your mental health.
Originally shared 5-7-20 on Instagram @tjcounseling.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
One of the most common issues that causes stress, anxiety, and depressive symptoms to worsen for almost anyone is change in life. Even if it is a good change, it can be exhausting. So let's examine how we can better embrace change.
Originally shared April 30, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
In one of my most serious Therapy Thursday topics, we address suicide from all angles, those with suicidal thoughts, those who have lost a loved one to suicide, and everyone in between, because this is an issue that affects all of us.
Originally shared April 23, 2020 on Instagram. @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
It sounds like a simple thing - give people permission to be wrong about you - but it has been really life changing for me to reduce feelings of defensiveness and perfectionism.
Originally shared April 16, 2020 on Instagram @tjcounseling
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
It may sound crazy, especially in a world filled with seemingly constant world-altering events, but I promise that unfollowing cable news can make a huge difference in your mindset and outlook of life.
Originally shared April 9, 2020 on Instagram
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
In a world that often encourages "positive thinking" above all else, let's examine why I've found that choosing thoughts that serve you over thoughts that are just always positive actually tends to be more beneficial.
Originally shared April 2, 2020 on Instagram.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
This is one my new favorite mantras. It has helped me so much to reduce the unnecessary fretting and worrying which was adding nothing but anxiety to my life.
Originally shared March 26, 2020 on Instagram
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Ironically, the more you try to control, the less control you actually have. I know it sounds backwards, but let's break it down in this episode of Therapy Thursday.
Originally shared March 19, 2020 on Instagram.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Circumstances, Thoughts, Feelings, Actions, and Results. These 5 pieces make up what is called "the model." It's a simple and effective way of breaking down what happens in life to help you find more happiness and control.
Originally shared on March 12, 2020 on Instagram.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Use this helpful tool when you are having one of those potentially difficult conversations. It helps minimize the chances of defensiveness and maximize the chance of a success.
Originally shared February 27, 2020 on Instagram.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Let's dig through another helpful analogy for your emotions. Today, we will talk about how feelings are similar to indicator lights in your car. How? Listen to find out!
Originally shared February 20, 2020 on Instagram.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Brought to you from Disneyland! Although it is marketed as "the happiest place on Earth," Disneyland serves as a great example of an important therapeutic reality check - that circumstances are neutral!
Originally shared February 13, 2020 on Instagram.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
In this episode I walk you through one of my favorite mindfulness techniques. Use it for daily mediation or to receive anxiety and stress!
Originally shared February 6, 2020 on Instagram.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Did you know that the human brain would rather be right than happy? Sounds backwards, but it's true! Lets find out why and how understanding this principle can help us take charge of our thoughts and feelings.
Originally shared January 30, 2020 on Instagram.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
A lot of people have misunderstandings about what therapy is or why it is important. I find this analogy to be simple and effective for explaining why mental health is important and therapy is nothing to be ashamed of!
Originally published January 23, 2020
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Tune in for a quick intro to the Therapy Thursday family! I'm so thrilled to be able to bring this project that I have been working on for the last two years into the podcast world! If you're new, stick around for lots of great content, and be sure to check out my Instagram @tjcounseling for more awesome mental health resources.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app