"You're Too Needy!": Recent Episodes
Clare O'Sullivan
WHY UNDERSTANDING WHAT YOU NEED MATTERS.This podcast promotes the lost art of needs based emotional intelligence. The missing pieces of the human puzzle. At times it is an intimate vulnerable sharing of my own childhood legacy of domestic violence and the reason why this is so important to me and also an exploration of the importance of resurrecting the human consciousness of needs, the absence of which is impacting our species and the planet as a whole. Knowing what we need is connected to our innate right-brained empathic skill that supports us to tend to our emotional and mental suffering and to re-wire us back into loving self-connection and into interconnectedness with all life. Understanding what we need connects us to our innate intelligence about our wellbeing and vitality and empowerment and the consciousness that we have choice. I will be sharing all that I have learnt about this lost art and will also be inviting guests to join me in these explorations. I hope you will engage with me too with your questions and reflections.
Connecting to your needs supports an ending of inner and outer violence
Connecting to your needs supports you to regulate your nervous system, another good reason to remember you have needs and the gifts of connecting with them
The process of connecting to your needs involves several conscious actions:
- Bring your conscious awareness to your body in response to the pain that is activated there
- When noticing what is there doing so without judgement understanding that although it’s difficult to bring your awareness to this activation this is what your intelligent body is asking you to do
- During this arrival to present moment awareness we meet the difficult material that lives within our nervous system as a result of what most of us have endured in the form of empathic failure when we were little
- Bring our unconditional empathic consciousness to ourselves creates an inner warming
This is where your body begins to get ease
And the information you gather through this noticing and empathically understanding is what informs your next steps in your life
It is a process of re-sensitising ourselves back towards our own inner life force and the life around us
This is the last episode of this podcast at present, but all episodes will be available to 'listen again' on my Youtube Channel.
Thanks for listening!
Clare
This episode covers:
An awareness that you already know how to access what you need, it’s just that we have been educated away from it
Connecting to our needs is a journey of resting into the aliveness in the body
A place of rest and empowerment
Not an intellectual task but an embodied task
Approaching our needs is a courageous vulnerable act
Ending fixing sorting analysing pushing away self-abandonment dissociation and what is left is the present moment aliveness
A firm ground we can inhabit during the challenges in our lives
Bringing relief through self-understanding
I talk through the steps to understanding our needs
And finally I offer a needs embodiment practice, a practical experience of connecting to the need for rest
Here is the link to the podcast resources page
And here is the link to get in touch with me if you have any questions or reflections you would like to share with me CONTACT
Thanks for listening!
Needs are at the root of your dreams - your dreams coming to life fulfill your deeply held needs.
How connecting with your needs brings you into a belonging with your long held dreams and how this leads to present day strategies to bring your dreams about in a form that is possible.
The image of how our life ought to be and living out what actually is as that image doesn't come to life in the way we would have hoped.
How needs live in us in their fullness, that's how we know how to reach for them.
Ways we’d like to build our dreams in our lives and how that’s not always possible in the shape and form we imagined, but the needs live on and communicate to nonetheless.
How grieving our loss helps us to maintain a connection to this root.
Needs as the 'sap of life longing for fulfilment' as with all plants and all mammals.
Here is the 'map' to support the content of this episode.
And here is the link to contact me with any questions or reflections arising out of this episode. I'd truly love to hear from you.
Find our more about me an my work www.senseoflife.co.uk
This episode explores the links between acknowledgement of our needs, articulating that to others and vulnerability and weakness.
How and why we have become disconnected to our needs
Understanding how needs and vulnerability gained the label of 'weakness'
How re-connecting to our needs asks us to enter our vulnerability
What is vulnerability and why do we need to reclaim our connection with it
That all the good reasons to be alive are met through entering our vulnerability
How this brings joy, connection, creativity, innovation, authenticity and integrity
The return - guidance and practice on the return to your vulnerability, understanding and connecting with your needs, and reclaiming the truth that you matter too
Here is the 'map' to support the content of this episode.
And here is the link to contact me with any questions or reflections arising out of this episode. I'd truly love to hear from you.
Find our more about me an my work www.senseoflife.co.uk
Introducing the power of connecting to your needs when your nervous system is 'triggered' activated by what someone else says or does.
I bring examples of these types of situations and demonstrate the process of connecting to your needs through the process of empathy in that situation and how this supports the process of self-regulation, brings choice, empowerment and autonomy in the present moment.
How it is essential that humans return to this skill/capacity so that when we attempt to meet our needs our strategies arise from a place of love and within the consciousness that everyone's needs matter.
Here is the 'map' to support the content of this episode.
And here is the link to contact me with any questions or reflections arising out of this episode.
Find our more about me an my work www.senseoflife.co.uk
Every action no matter how tragic is an attempt to meet a need. A radical statement.
That humans are the sum of two parts, the outcome of our upbringing and at the centre of that we were all innocent beings starting out with a full heart and dreams to bring about.
I share the power of these two phrases that moves our world view from right and wrong, good and evil toward'both/and'and also 'no wonder'. That without condoning the violence among our species we can view it through the lens of compassion thatno wonder given the circumstances, the violence takes place and that it's both possible for the violence to exist and at the same time to be witness to the human being at it's centre.
Here is the 'map' to support the content of this episode.
And here is the link to contact me with any questions or reflections arising out of this episode.
Find our more about me an my work www.senseoflife.co.uk
I noticed there was more I wanted to say about 'What Happened To us', so welcome to Part 2.
Here I speak of the dissociation that has taken place for humans from the 'felt sense' in their bodies, the origins and causes of this and the terrible effects this has on our emotional pain and choice in how we respond to it. How the 'right and wrong' paradigm prevalent in our culture is embedded in our thinking and language and is at the root of this dissociation.
I explore how empathic presence is the tool and the balm that returns us back to the possibility of connection with our felt experience which then supports us to connect to the life force, vitality and intelligence in our needs.
Here is the 'map' to support the content of this episode.
And here is the link to contact me with any questions or reflections arising out of this episode.
Find our more about me an my work www.senseoflife.co.uk
The origins of my work lie within a childhood marred by domestic violence. I speak about this here and how that experience is linked to my exploration of human needs and the importance of connecting to them.
Here's the link to my visual map for this episode https://www.senseoflife.co.uk/podcastresources
Here's the link If you would like to contact me with any questions or reflections about what I share through my podcast https://www.senseoflife.co.uk/contact
Clare O'Sullivan
Sense Of Life
Needs Based Emotional Intelligence
Teacher & Coach
I'm Clare O'Sullivan - A Needs Based Emotional Intelligence Teacher and Coach.
This podcast is an exploration of the phrase 'You're Too Needy'. It's a blend of me sharing vulnerably and authentically my lived experience of childhood domestic violence and how this led me to the exploration of needs consciousness and empathy, sharing with you what I have learnt through this and also through conversations about needs with invited guests.
If every action, no matter how tragic, is an attempt to meet a need, then we need to re-connect with this embodied consciousness. We are the most dangerous mammal of all when we are not empathically connected to our emotional pain and the needs speaking to us through it, not just to ourselves but to all life on the planet. I hope what I share here plays some part in re-awakening our empathic connection to one another through the universality of needs and to the vitality and essential intelligence in our needs that speaks to us not only about our own wellbeing, but connects to the wellbeing of all life.
I hope you will engage with me over the coming weeks and months with what I share here. The podcast will go live every two weeks on a Monday beginning 11th April 2022.
My website is www.senseoflife.co.uk
'The Grief Journey' in conversation with Tara Shannon Author, Poet & Illustrator
"There will be things that happen in this life that make you feel like you can't go on. But you must". Rabbit & Bear wisdom!
Much has been taught to us about grief and in my experience our culture has a lot of shoulds and expectations around how to live with it and also has limits as to what it 's ok to grieve about. My own work and life is as it is arising out of a new and authentic lived experience of it. This brings me to meeting Tara Shannon and inviting her to speak with me on this podcast. Tara has been through endless loss in a very short period of time. Out of this experience she gave birth to Rabbit & Bear. I met Rabbit & Bear and they warmed my soul and expanded my heart on the grief journey. And so I had to meet Tara and now I'd like you to meet her too.
May the intuitive introverts in this world reach us more and more with their healing alchemy.
Themes:
Beauty is present in Life and in Death
Healing & Creativity (for ourselves and through us for others)
Grief & Loss as a universal experience
The intuitive creative writing process - capturing and distilling the essence -ending the pushing and forcing and gripping
Not forcing things into being but facing the pain and allowing the wisdom in it to unfold
How this relates to what 'healing' is
Therefore - the importance of 'feeling our feelings'
Generational Trauma & Ancestral lineage of grief and suffering - ending the cycle of self-abandonment
Supporting others in grief spaces (Including just make them a cuppa!)
Tara's website: https://www.tarashannonwrites.com/
Rabbit & Bear https://www.tarashannonwrites.com/rabbit
Join her on Facebook as Tara's healing gifts unfold into more offerings, new books, poems and regular soul food through Rabbit & Bear. On December 1st 2021 her page had over 75,000 likes https://www.facebook.com/tarashannonwrites