Human Huddle: Recent Episodes
Rae & Hazel
Conversations that connect. Human Huddle features two friends, Rae and Hazel, bridging the miles across the Atlantic offering mutual support & inspiration. With a dose of British humour and plenty of authenticity they share insights on topics like the power of listening, resilience based on life lessons, mindset management and building presence. Drawing on over 60 years' experience as professional coaches, trainers and facilitators they weave together theory, practice and personal stories with some laughs along the way. Let's huddle together!
A recent study showed employees are more than twice as likely to avoid speaking up when working virtually. What impact might that have on productivity, employee engagement, teamwork and overall job satisfaction?
Distance can make difficult conversations even more challenging which means we're even more likely to assume the ostrich position, burying our heads in the sand and avoiding the subject altogether. As Carl Jung said "what you resist, persists".
It turns out once more that our mindset matters as we approach the conversation ... pay attention to intention, find common ground, listen to understand - just a few of the tips Rae and Hazel share in this episode. Are you ready to top up your toolkit and achieve a win-win in those conversations you've been avoiding? Connect with us in this not so difficult conversation!
Other refs: VitalSmarts, Adam Grant Think Again.
Work is a big part of life for so many of us but how realistic and helpful is it to strive for 'balance'? Are we setting ourselves up to fail? Are work and life really two distinct entities or part of one thing...life?! Given the impact on our relationships, health and wellbeing, can we afford to ignore when life feels out of kilter and we end up feeling overwhelmed, stressed, even physically ill? How do we want to spend the rest of our time on the planet?
Hazel & Rae consider that 'blending' work with other interests and responsibilities may be more attainable. Thankfully we are all different, our personalities even influence our approach to work and play - do you see play as a reward when the work is done or are you happy to play whilst working? Like most things, we can't change unless we notice what's working and what's not. Achieving a sense of balance needs us to take personal responsibility for things like mindset & setting boundaries together with a workplace culture that encourages and supports a happy, fulfilling balance.
Other references: Dr Peter Hawkins: Work, Learn, Play, Give, Jocelyn K. Glei Hurry Slowly podcast: Who are you without the doing?
"I'm not as capable as people think I am". "If I can do it, anyone can". "I have to be perfect to feel good enough". If any of these are familiar to you, it's possible you have experienced 'Imposter Syndrome'. Hazel & Rae explore their own vulnerabilities and insecurities and share what helps them when they feel the Imposter creeping in. If this resonates with you, you are in good company. Many people, including high achievers, have acknowledged feeling their successes/accomplishments in life are due to luck, sheer fluke, hard work, or anything but their personal competence. It seems it's common practice to compare and judge ourselves against others who we perceive to be 'better than' us. The truth is, we are all a 'work in progress', perfectly imperfect, and that's what makes us the unique human beings we are.
Other references: Nancy Kline, Simon Sinek, Valerie Young
What needs to happen for us to feel safe to speak up, challenge, question, report, fail, make mistakes...?? Do the benefits of this interpersonal risk outweigh the rewards? What are the costs of not creating environments where people feel accepted, valued, trusted and able to be their 'whole self'? This week Hazel and Rae are bringing out the big guns as they reflect on the concept of "psychological safety". There's also a story about donuts. Do you need any more reason to tune in...?? 😉
Other references: Adam Grant's book Think Again, Matthew Syed's books Black Box Thinking & Rebel Ideas, Carol Dweck's work on Growth Mindset, Amy Edmondson's Tedx Talk Building a Psychologically Safe Workplace, 10 Components of a Thinking Environment®.
Mentor, Coach, Counsellor. By any other name, it's support. It matters. A lot. Especially when you consider that a global survey from January 2019 revealed employees would leave their job for less pay in exchange for better wellbeing support.
Hazel asks Rae for her take on the similarities and differences between these helping modalities. Listen to their thoughts based on their experiences.
Other references: Happy Mondays band, Julie Starr & The Coaching Manual, Dress for Success, The Princes Trust, ChildLine, Situational Leadership
Huddle with us as we ponder on the lost or even luxurious, art of listening. Asking ourselves 'who do we really listen to?' and 'who really listens to us?' We explore what it means to listen without interrupting to help someone think for themselves and hear themselves think!
Find out about the 11 second rule, why your favourite tunes from the 80's and 90's might not make it to Spotify, the work of Nancy Kline and Time to Think and why Coaching in a Thinking Environment® requires you to be comfortable with being both essential and irrelevant. Are you ready to take up Rae's challenge to stop interrupting yourself?
Other references: Kate Murphy's book "You're Not Listening', Nancy Kline's latest book 'The Promise That Changes Everything' and Time to Think for the 10 components, articles, how to find a qualified Time to Think Professional, like Hazel, & so much more...
Revision: The Gottman Institute study/our attention span for listening is in Nancy Kline's book, not Kate Murphy's as Hazel mentioned...oops.
'Resilience' is a strategy to navigate the challenges of uncertainty and change that is very current so Rae and Hazel decided to unpack what it really means to be resilient. And how it's different from persistence. Rae is a qualified Mental Health First Aider and her corporate work often focusses on building resilience. She also shares a very personal story of resilience and 3 lessons learned as a result of surviving a life threatening illness. As a Wellness Coach, Hazel shares a few golden nuggets for managing negative stress.
Other references: VUCA, Hormesis, Wim Hof cold therapy, Serenity Prayer, Daniel Pink's book "WHEN" and...Tears for Fears, a pop band from the 80s (yes, we are that old ;-)) and their song 'Mad World'.
Enjoy....
This week the focus is on the importance of looking after number 1 and different ways to proactively manage the inevitable stressors from all the change and uncertainty. Tune in to hear about the big cat spotted in Rae's neighbourhood of Hexham (is it a saber-toothed tiger..?) and the cougar in Hazel's neck of the woods. Find out why they're talking about Dis-Ease and F. E.A.R. (False Evidence Appears Real) and see if there's a self-care tip that works for your needs.
PS Listen for when Rae gives that very British response in answer to "How are you?" ("I'm fine") Hazel alludes to what that really means (Frustrated Insecure Neurotic Emotional 🤨) - watch out for that one!
Other references: Tim Cantopher's book 'Depressive Illness: The Curse of the Strong', Taylor Swift's song 'Shake it Off' and Dr Michael Greger & Forest Bathing
From conversations that connect to presentations that connect. This week, Rae shares her tips (and chucks in a few quotes) for avoiding a dodgy presentation, and delivering an authentic one that creates the 'feel-good' factor. As a seasoned trainer and coach for all forms of presenting, Rae draws on her experience with clients, her trip to Portugal to learn from a leading vocal & acting coach and inspiration from Michelle Obama's book 'Becoming'. It's a conversation rich in content and a few revelations from Hazel's past forays into presenting. Rae's wisdom will have you wondering about the 90:1 ratio, whether you have a 'Vicar Voice' and what the 4D version of you might look and sound like. Of course, she mentions alcohol (again) and there's the usual splattering of "ums" from Hazel as she offers her thoughts on a topic that many people fear as much as death. Would you rather be in the coffin than delivering the eulogy..??
Other references: 'Becoming' by Michelle Obama, 'Vulnerability' TED Talk by Brené Brown, 'Second Circle' by Patsy Rodenburg, 'The Jelly Effect' by Andy Bounds.
Hazel and Rae ponder on what's become more 'normal' with pandemic living. Eavesdrop on their conversation to hear more about the different preferences Introverts and Extroverts are likely to have when it comes to working from home (or is it sleeping at the office..?).
They share their personal challenges of working remotely, with family, in the same space. Spoiler alert - it's not always fun times, especially when Rae's husband declares the kitchen closed and Hazel's husband slurps his cereal too loudly!
When Hazel asks if life will ever be the same again, Rae consults her crystal ball as they consider options for how the workplace might change in the future.
It seems a dog is never too old to learn new tricks. A year on since being thrown into the virtual world, Hazel and Rae reflect on how they have adapted to being online and their feelings about learning new skills. They share what they have learned about adjusting to change and responding to new opportunities.
Drawing on their experiences, they discuss the importance, and benefits of, being open to feedback, the difference between a fixed and flexible mindset, accepting failure and reframing thoughts to shift perspective. Over the years, both Rae and Hazel have learned to be comfortable with being uncomfortable as that's where the "magic" occurs, or, as Rae puts it, the "B.M.D's". Drop into the conversation for the big reveal....!?!
Other references: Carol Dweck's book 'Mindset: The New Psychology of Success', Mancroft International's course 'The Winning Edge', 'How to Fail' podcast with Elizabeth Day and Susan Jeffers book 'Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway' (an oldie but goodie ;-)).