Eugene Glover – Fusion Patrol: Recent Episodes

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Simon and Eugene mark the 800th episode of Fusion Patrol where they discuss the classic 1931 Frankenstein, the extent of the impact of this film across other media, the differences between the film and the book, and whether the film or Mary Shelley are responsible for the perception of the mad scientist.

00:01:00 Anniversary Opening
00:02:29 Frankenstein’s Obsession
00:04:51 The Monster Escapes
00:06:47 First Impressions
00:10:51 Boris Karloff’s Performance
00:15:26 Film Versus Novel
00:18:52 The Beast’s Short Life
00:22:33 Morality and Responsibility
00:26:18 Script Differences
00:30:41 Deleted Dialogue
00:36:10 Body-Snatching Ethics
00:39:35 The Stage Play
00:43:00 Mad Scientist Trope
00:50:24 Never Alive
00:53:54 Why Not Start Small?
00:59:04 Waldman’s Dilemma
01:00:37 Mary Shelley Revisited
01:03:07 Science and Fear
01:08:35 Final Thoughts

John and Eugene dicsuss the return of sad Buck, the daughter of America’s mom, the ridiculous plot contrivance of this episode, and how the name New New Orleans just trips over the tongue.

Simon and Eugene discuss Swedish electric wiring, hubots and eggs as baby substitutes, and how a baby upgrade programme could work.

Kenneth and Eugene discuss David Vincent’s need to have someone else believe him, the double-bluff of having an obvious main Invader guest star who isn’t, and ask the all-important question: If the cylinder contains the masterplan for invading the Earth, does that mean the Invaders have been working without a plan so far?

John and Eugene look at the 2492 Olympic games on the planet Mykos.

They discuss the in-built advantages/disadvantages of having aliens with different physical capabilities competing against one another, ponder how small of an area you could hold the games in if there were no pesky audiences, ask if the writers were unable to come up with two imaginary drug names, look at the fascinating history of the branding of this episode vis-a-vis the disastrous 1980 Olympics in Moscow, and come up with a new tag line for this podcast: “We’re from the future, and we’ve got some script notes.”

Kenneth and Eugene look at Andrei Tarkovsky’s famous, and ponderously slow, 1972 film, Solaris. They discuss why 40 minutes of the film is set amongst wet greenery, Tarkovsky’s daddy issues, they ask “What the hell was the point of the horse?” and “Why did we sit through 10+ minutes of silent driving through Osaka?”

This cursed episode of Fusion Patrol was over four years in the making.

00:00:35 Introduction to Solaris
00:01:39 The Lost Recording
00:02:02 Revisiting Solaris
00:02:48 Watching at 1.5 Speed
00:03:42 Synopsis of Solaris
00:05:37 Part Two of the Film
00:07:58 The Nature of Guests
00:08:36 Dissecting the Film’s Themes
00:12:09 The Nature of Identity
00:12:26 Different Versions of Hari
00:18:25 Film Length and Pacing
00:21:03 Cultural Context
00:30:43 The Purpose of Characters
00:32:40 Understanding the Guests
00:34:34 Questions of Existence
00:39:10 The Climax of the Story
00:45:22 Communication with the Unknown
00:54:00 Tarkovsky’s Personal Influence
00:55:46 Visual and Aesthetic Choices
00:58:02 Final Thoughts on Solaris
01:11:21 Critique of Adaptations

Next week: Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, Olympiad

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Simon and Eugene discuss upgrading the babysitter, the theme of children abandoned by mothers, and Eugene grapples with his unresolved cyber security issues.

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Eugene and Kenneth delve into The Invaders Season 1, Episode 8, “Doomsday Minus One,” where Major Graves faces a nuclear test threat while Spence’s paranoia leads to tragic consequences from alien forces. They discuss Vincent’s quest for truth, the episode’s tension, and the moral nuances of its characters, as well as frustrations with its reset button mechanics.

Next Week: Real Humans, Season 2, Episode 5
Next Invaders Episode: Quantity Unknown

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Eugene and John dive into Season 1, Episode 18 of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, “Twiki is Missing.” They humorously critique a high-stakes mission involving a spaceberg, a miners’ revolt, and a kidnapping plot against Twiki. Amid absurd twists, they discuss scientific credibility, casting choices, and themes of loyalty and free will, teasing the next episode, “Olympiad,” for more adventures.

Next Week: The Invaders, Doomsday Minus One
Next on Buck Rogers: Olympiad

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Ben and Eugene discuss Irwin Allen’s second attempt to get City Beneath the Sea going with this TV movie and seeming back door pilot. They discuss the survivability of an asteroid strike in the Pacific Ocean, Robert Wagner’s evil ‘tache, the fact that the unsuspecting people of Pacifica were always going to get saddled with the H128, and wonder if the US President’s name is Nelsonson.

00:00:34 Introduction to City Beneath the Sea
00:07:18 Erwin Allen’s Recycling Tactics
00:24:53 The H-128 Dilemma
00:28:08 Asteroid Impact and Its Consequences
00:29:50 The Science of Destruction
00:33:52 Matthews’ Desperate Decision
00:47:45 Behind the Scenes: Writers and Directors
01:03:07 Final Thoughts on City Beneath the Sea

Next Week: Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, Twiki is Missing

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Simon and Eugene look at Season 2, Episode 4 of Real Humans when they discuss far-right mentalities and arguments around migration and exceptionalism, we ask, if you create free will and yet still embed an override, is it still free will? Possible allusions to the Matrix and Frosty the Snowman, and Eugene reveals why he walked out of E.T. The Extraterrestrial.

Next Week: World Beyond Movie Night
Next on Real Humans: S02E05

In this episode of Fusion Patrol, Kenneth and Eugene be looking at Season 1, Episode 7 of The Invaders. With the episode entitled “Nightmare” where they discuss how the Invaders are like the Wild Wild West’s Dr. Loveless, ask, “why mutate butterflies when locusts are readily available?”, and why small towns immediately distrust outsider David Vincent but welcome a gaggle of invaders from another world with open arms.

Next Week: Real Humans, Season 2, Episode 4
Next on the Invaders: Doomsday Minus One

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In this episode of Fusion Patrol, John and Eugene analyze two contrasting episodes from Season 1 of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century: “A Blast for Buck” and “Ardala Returns.” They explore the quirky narrative of “A Blast for Buck,” a clip show that offers a humorous spin on nostalgia while critiquing the logic behind its past villains. They examine the use of limericks and the challenges of tension-building in traditional clip shows. Transitioning to “Ardala Returns,” they delve into character dynamics with Princess Ardala and Killer Kane, discussing how their interactions deepen viewer engagement while highlighting the absurdity of the sci-fi genre. Through a lively dialogue about humor, character development, and narrative structure, and they reflect on the show’s evolution.

Next Week: The Invaders – Nightmare
Next on Buck Rogers in the 25th Century: Twiki us Missing

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Simon and Eugene look at the Dalek Master Plan, including the newly-recovered episodes 1 and 3, and they discuss companion deaths, the traditional Christmas Dalek, whether Douglas Adams watched this serial, and whether Mavic Chen could have been blue.

This week Simon and Eugene look at Real Humans, Season 2, Episode 3, and discuss whether coincidence in television is a product of convenience or pleasing the audience, whether the Hubot virus is mining Bitcoin, which characters might benefit from an external battery pack, and how on earth you would retrieve a retractable cord from a Hubitron 400 once the plug is cut.

Next Time on Real Humans: Season 2, Episode 4

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In this episode of Fusion Patrol, Kenneth and Eugene analyze Season 1, Episode 6 of The Invaders, titled “Vicar.” The story follows an electrical lineman who dies after witnessing aliens regenerate, prompting David Vincent to investigate Vikor Enterprises’ dark ties to the invaders. We examine the moral complexities of George Vikor, who prioritizes personal gain over ethics, and the troubled relationship with his wife, Sherry. Their discussion touches on the psychological toll of war, social commentary on veteran treatment, and the Cold War context, offering insights into the episode’s deeper themes.

Next Week: Real Humans Season 2, Episode 3
Next on the Invaders: Nightmare

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In this episode of Fusion Patrol, John and Eugene analyze Season 1, Episode 15 of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, titled “Happy Birthday, Buck.” The narrative explores Buck’s existential crisis as he confronts his 534th birthday and feels a sense of nostalgia for 20th century Chicago.

Next episode: The Invaders – Vikor
Next on Buck Rogers: A Blast for Buck & Ardala Returns

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Kenneth and Eugene explore the 1955 classic “This Island Earth.” Their discussion highlights Cal’s research, mysterious technology, and ethical dilemmas posed by the Metalunans. They reflect on the film’s pacing, special effects, and its commentary on Cold War politics, examining how its themes resonate with contemporary issues. They also discuss the film’s charm and its legacy in sci-fi cinema.

This week, Simon and Eugene look at the second episode of the second series of Real Humans. They discuss Chekhov’s robot grandfather, the Swedish electoral system, whether induction hobs are better than gas, and whether they would switch on digital replicas of their deceased loved ones.

Next week: This Island Earth (1955)

In this episode Kenneth and Eugene analyze Season 1, Episode 5 of The Invaders, titled “Genesis.” A police officers encounter with an Invader loosing his human form leads David Vincent to discover a desperate Invader plan to save the life of a scientist key to their invasion plans.

Next Week: Real Humans Season 2, Episode 2
Next time on the Invaders: Vikor

It’s the episode everyone has been waiting for! John and Eugene review Space Vampire!

They discuss the surprisingly effective direction of Buck Rogers’ take on the horror genre, the curious omission of the named “Dracula,” and they welcome the return of “Sexy Wilma.”

Next time on Buck Rogers in the 25th Century: Happy Birthday, Buck
Next Week on Fusion Patrol: The Invaders, Genesis

Not a movie, but a follow-up to our discussion of the Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea feature, as we look at this television episode remake of the movie.

Ben and Eugene examine the moral dilemmas faced by Admiral Nelson and Dr. Weber as they propose differing solutions to a catastrophic scenario. The discussion highlights key themes of mind control, ethical responsibilities, and the implications of leadership during crises. We draw connections to the original film, contrasting its existential threat with the episode’s localized crisis.

Next Week: Buck Rogers in the 25th Century – Space Vampire

This week, Simon and Eugene look at the second episode of Real Humans, season 2, where they discuss the changes between the last season and this, or lack thereof, the loss of some of the interesting ambiguities, and whether there is a Swedish TV body count limit.

Next Week: Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea: The Sky’s on Fire.

Dr. Markham escapes the Invaders, leading to a chaotic pursuit involving David Vincent and Warren Donaghan, who fears alien abductions linked to missing scientists.

Kenneth and Eugene explore themes of friendship, skepticism, and belief in the face of the mysterious alien threat, dissecting the episode’s character dynamics and storytelling elements.

Dr. Markham escapes the Invaders, leading to a chaotic pursuit involving David Vincent and Warren Donaghan, who fears alien abductions linked to missing scientists.

Kenneth and Eugene explore themes of friendship, skepticism, and belief in the face of the mysterious alien threat, dissecting the episode’s character dynamics and storytelling elements.

Next week: Real Humans, Season 2, Episode 1

This week, Eugene and John explore Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, Season 1, Episode 13, “Cruise Ship to the Stars.” They call out the awkward attraction between the 500+ year old Buck and the 19 year old Ms. Cosmos, critique the episode’s convoluted plot, humorously discuss Twiki’s romance, and ponder 2491’s beauty standards.

Next time on Buck Rogers: Space Vampire
Next week on Fusion Patrol: The Invaders – The Leeches

In this episode of Fusion Patrol, Ben and Eugene delve into the 1961 Irwin Allen film “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea,” starring Walter Pidgeon and Joan Fontaine. The discussion centers on the USOS Seaview and Admiral Nelson’s desperate mission to extinguish a catastrophic burning of the Van Allen Belt, which threatens all life on Earth.

They explore the film’s key themes, including the clash between reason and fanaticism, as well as character dynamics, particularly between Nelson and his crew. We also reflect on our personal experiences with the film, critique its scientific elements, and analyze the portrayal of authority during the Cold War.

Next Week: Buck Rogers in the 25th Century – Cruise Ship to the Stars

In this week’s episode of Fusion Patrol, Simon and Eugene dissect the series finale of Bugs, focusing on the two-part episode “Money Spiders” and “The Enemy Within.”

They argue over which of the many things Alex should have been fired for, they discuss whether the G5 is the chip Apple released five years after the show and why they didn’t use a Pentium chip to run a Windows program, and they talk about how Bugs went out with a whimper, not a bang, not even a single bang.

Join the conversation and revisit the thrilling conclusion of Bugs with them this week!

Next Week: World Beyond Movie Night looks at Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea (1961)

In this episode of Fusion Patrol, Kenneth and Eugene analyze Season 1, Episode 3 of The Invaders, titled “The Mutation.” The story follows David Vincent as he investigates mysterious phenomena along the Texas-Mexico border, leading to a life-threatening encounter with locals and ultimately, alien forces. Despite being undermined by those he encounters, including the deceptive Evans and Vicky, Vincent’s quest for the truth about the invaders drives the narrative.

They discuss the missed opportunities for deeper explorations of alien culture and the complexities of Vincent’s interactions with Vicky, who reveals her own mutation. They raise critical questions about identity and emotional depth, while critiquing its execution, noting continuity issues and the lack of logical consistency. They dissect the themes of rationality versus emotionality reflected in the series.

Peso notes: There was lots of confusion in this episode about peso->dollar exchange rates, so let me clarify some of the confusion.

in 1967, when this episode aired, the Mexican Peso (MXP) existed at a fixed exchange rate of 12.5 MXP for 1 USD. That means Vincent gave the men $24 USD.

Since then (in 1993) the Peso (MXP) has been replaced by the New Peso (MXN). The New Peso’s exchange rate floats freely on the market.

For additional context, $24 USD in 1967 money is roughly the equivalent of $230-$235 USD today.

Calculating what the money was worth in Mexico in 1967 is more difficult, but in the 1960s there were different minimum wages, which could vary depending on type of job and region. In some places, a laborer’s minimum wage could have been as low as 8 pesos per day. So for the laborers that took Vincent’s 300 pesos, that could have been a significant portion of a year’s salary for them.

Suffice to say, he gave them a lot of their money, and not too terribly much of his own.

Next Week: The Bugs two-part finale, Money Spiders & The Enemy Within
Next time on the Invaders: The Leeches

In this episode of Fusion Patrol, we explore “Escape from Wedded Bliss,” the twelfth episode of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. The plot unfolds as a menacing space probe prompts the Federation to act, while Princess Ardala plots to capture Buck as leverage against them. Amidst a chaotic reception, Buck navigates Ardala’s royal wedding challenges, ultimately facing off against Tiger Man. We critique the episode’s pacing and examine Ardala’s character, blending humor with serious themes.

Next week: The Invaders, The Mutation
Next on Buck Rogers in the 25th Century: Cruise Ship to The Stars

TranscriptEugene: Hello and welcome to another episode of Fusion Patrol. I’m Eugene.

John: And I’m John.

Eugene: And tonight we’re looking at Season 1, Episode 12 of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. Escape from Wedded Bliss. Episode Synopsis. An unmanned space probe enters Earth’s orbit and adopts a threatening posture. Heuer orders it destroyed. However, the Starfighter’s pulsars are ineffective against it. It fires off a massive beam weapon, strikes outside New Chicago. Clearly, it was a warning shot. Aboard a draconian flagship, Cain and Ardala discuss Emperor Drago’s orders to destroy the Earth with the weapon. Ardala, over Cain’s protestations, is making some alterations to her daddy’s plan. She contacts Hewer and demands a meeting with the heads of the Federation and Captain Buck Rogers. At the reception, Buck’s contamination of 25th century culture continues unabated as a roller disco performance tortures the guests. Addressing the delegates, Ardala makes her plans known. Soon, she will replace her father as Draconian Empress. To secure that throne, she must marry the most genetically perfect man in the galaxy. That man is Buck Rogers. If the Earth does not turn over Buck Rogers to her to be her husband, their weapon will destroy all the cities on Earth. Later, to Wilma’s surprise, Buck appears to be running away. She assures him that the Federation Council will not sacrifice him, and they’re working on a plan to get her aboard the Draconia, destroy the weapons. Buck explains that it is hopeless without knowing the interior layout of the Triconia and the location of the weapon’s controls. He continues his preparations. The deadline arrives and Dr. Hewer delivers Earth’s answer. We’re not going to give you Buck Rogers. Ardala leaves, vowing reprisals in an hour. Buck is ready to head out on his trip, but Tweaky also does not believe he’s running. Buck admits to him that it’s a plan and eventually gives in to Tweaky’s emotional blackmail and takes him along. As Buck and Tweaky travel across the atomic wastelands outside New Chicago, Ardala blasts a few empty buildings in New Chicago and then gives Dr. Hewer two more hours to hand over Buck. The Federation Council buckles and agrees to hand over Buck. On the Draconia, Cain is still upset that Ardala is defying the Emperor’s direct orders. Ardala explains that once she has Buck and they’re safely returned to Draconian’s base, she will send the weapon back to destroy the Earth. Buck has reached his destination, a cave where Garadon, a former Draconian engineer, hides. He was tired of the fighting, and Buck saved him and gave him a place to live. Now, Buck wants a favor from him. Technical layouts of the Draconia. Both Earth forces and Draconian forces have tracked Buck here, and a fight begins, which the Earth forces win. Buck and Garadon are taken back to New Chicago, where Garadon’s brain is scanned for details on the Draconia. It will take time to analyze. More time than they have. Buck leaves for the draconia and the waiting princess. Ardala, alone with Buck, explains the three phases of a draconian royal wedding. In phase one, they get to know each other and get frisky. In phase two, Buck must prove his worth in combat against Tiger Man. And in phase three, they are married, and Buck is given an irremovable neck collar that can kill him instantly if he ever displeases Ardala. Phase 1 begins, and as things get frisky, Buck pulls out a concealed device which puts Ardala to sleep. He escapes into the ship, where it is revealed that he has a secret transmitter on him. He contacts Huer and Wilma, and they give him the probable location of the weapon’s controls. Ardala is too light of a sleeper, though, and she awakens before Buck can get to the weapon. Alerting security, Cain soon has Buck subdued and returned to the princess. So much for Phase 1. Thinking Buck was just trying to escape, they proceed to phase two. Buck learns that he doesn’t just have to fight Tiger Man, he must either kill or be killed by Tiger Man. The fight goes precisely as expected with Buck defeating, but refusing to kill Tiger Man. When Buck puts down his weapon, Tiger Man pounces and tries to kill Buck. Again defeats Tigerman and holds a sword to his throat, still refusing to kill him until Ardala declares Buck the winner. As a show of good faith, Cain withdraws the weapon from Earth’s orbit and puts it in a defensive posture around the Draconia. Buck tries to rattle his cage, knowing that Cain, also an Earthman, harbors ambitions of marrying Ardala, taking over the Draconian Empire. Buck suggests he turn the weapon on Emperor Draco and seize power now. Cain simply replies that he only need to wait until Ardala inevitably kills Rogers. The wedding begins, and moments before Buck is fitted with the collar, he drops a concealed blacklight bomb, steals a weapon, and makes a break for the weapon control. Inside the control booth, which is impenetrable to Draconian’s gun blasts, Buck puts the weapon on overload, destroying it. The overload blast stuns Buck and throws him to the floor. Ardala orders Tigerman to grab Buck and bring him to her. Tigerman refuses and takes Ardala hostage instead until she agrees to let Buck go. Tigerman, his life debt repaid to Buck, stays behind to face punishment. Back on Earth, Buck shows that there are no hard feelings about Earth betraying him to the princess by preparing some soybean derivative split pea soup for his friends. The end. Okay. Escape from Wedded Bliss. What do you think?

John: I like the bit about the split pea soup.

Eugene: That was a long time coming in the episode. Like 45 minutes before we got to that.

John: It was well worth it. That was some fine looking soup.

Eugene: It was at least green.

John: Yeah, it was.

Eugene: It was green. I wish they had gone there with Twiki, you know, trying to see if, you know, he can’t digest food. He can taste. And then, you know, it’s like, how? I don’t want to know. Maybe I don’t want to know.

John: Yeah. Who knows?

Eugene: Maybe they pour it over the top of his helmet.

John: Maybe they just stick his finger in it or something like that.

Eugene: There’s a straw there yeah there.

John: You go it was it felt like a filler episode kind of ambitious for a filler episode but a filler episode nevertheless the uh yeah.

Eugene: I don’t disagree i i don’t disagree you know it’s the funny thing is i remember all episodes of buck rogers some more than others space vampire for for example but and i remember this one i remember buck having to fight tiger men and i remember but i remember the weapon and i remember princess ardala you know hot and heavy for buck as usual, but the rest of the episode i was watching this going i don’t remember any of this i don’t remember buck going out into the wastelands which are not very wastelandy and finding you know when i watched the opening credits and it said alfred rider was in it i’m like professor crater you know from star trek uh and a million other things nexus from the invaders and it’s just you know a guy you see all the time a very distinctive face i’m like i don’t remember him ever being in buck rogers yeah and barely in it he’s barely in it and yet he got no credit at the opening part and And then just a few, yeah, it’s really weird. Yes, it it it’s not just that it feels like a filler episode. It feels like they had to put in a lot of filler to make the episode into an episode. And I think that’s probably why it kind of rambles on. Do you know, there was a one minute and 44 seconds of roller disco.

John: I was kind of hoping that you would time that because I definitely want to.

Eugene: I didn’t want to either but i use the video beauty of video files and marking the time stamps at the beginning and end i didn’t watch it twice so i had to do that i you know scroll back there it is start from the end stop subtract this time you know it’s one minute and 45 seconds of roller disco and drooling looks between buck and ardala particularly yeah not.

John: Not anybody else who’s in the the room with the roller skaters every all the humans in there look like they are absolutely bored.

Eugene: Bored senseless yes the guy next to you are over there is just like yeah yeah you.

John: Woke me up for this.

Eugene: You had to you had to collect me to come to this meeting i exactly.

John: This could have been an email if we.

Eugene: Had email in the future yeah it’s like just give him buck oh he brought this roller disco stuff and and i might as well go right there to the roller disco stuff in the movie music was i mean it was still music but obviously it was very not funky right we have that whole sequence where everyone’s dancing in this sort of formal ballroom kind of performance and then we have suddenly buck going up and like come on guys you know get some funky You get some, you know, down and a thing. And then only Buck and R-Doll are the ones that can actually sort of move around. And then suddenly, roller disco? Oh. just pops it where it must be bucks doing either.

John: That or maybe it’s there a touring troupe of roller disco the dancers from another colony someplace i don’t know.

Eugene: I swear i thought one of them was owen wilson oh.

John: That’s entirely possible.

Eugene: It’s not it’s not it’s not yeah yeah i did finally find their names of the the roller yeah it’s not owen wilson but and he’s boy to be too old or too young yeah yeah because i was looking at the i was looking at the uh stuff and i’m like pamela hensley was 29 years old when this episode aired and she is 73 years old now, feel old now because i sure do.

John: Yeah okay that.

Eugene: That is i mean i didn’t i didn’t exactly hate the episode but at the same time there wasn’t much to it.

John: No you could.

Eugene: Put pamela hensley on screen and.

John: Um you.

Eugene: Know okay all right yeah it’s like i can watch this.

John: You know i in my notes i have hensley is cute but hardly worth it uh it’s you know oh she’s way too high maintenance clearly, nobody’s that cute oh i mean there’s a lot of makeup involved i’m sure but, it’s just that not a very it did not deliver a very captivating performance and none of them did really well i mean like buck and the the regulars the usuals of the the crew were doing what they normally do then you know it was a normal episode for them a lot less acting required by a wilma and huer because they weren’t in it that much not much no but yeah it just, the the pacing the episode was just uh faltering not that it was really trying too hard, it’s yeah it’s ambling along yeah and and i have in my notes here ardala might be able to become a little bit more two-dimensional if she tried a little harder yeah well yeah, Yeah, it’s just like, oh, yeah, she wants a shiny thing. Oh, great. Whatever. Emperor’s daughter. She has to get the shiny thing. So bring the shiny thing over.

Eugene: I want the shiny thing.

John: Okay, fine. Whatever. She’ll find another one tomorrow.

Eugene: I do. And I’m sure I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it probably every time we see Pamela Hensley. How can she walk through narrow doorways? You know, she’s always coming through a double wide door because if she came through a regular sized door, she would bruise her hips. as a swing through on either side she has got one hell of a hip swing when she’s walking i mean it’s intentional obviously because she’s the princess but yeah it’s like that is but i remember her on um it’s not matlock it’s matt houston i think she walked the same way in matt houston, so i did not watch the show very often but my dad did and you know if you’re walking through the room and you see panel hensley banging your hips on a doorway like oh panel hensley there’s that distinctive sound yeah i’m just gonna swing go ahead i.

John: Was gonna say i didn’t realize she was in rollerball.

Eugene: Oh, yeah, she was one of the prozies, I think.

John: Yeah, one of the women procured for Karn. Yeah, and getting it mixed up with Slannick Green, unfortunately.

Eugene: Not as much rollerblading in this.

John: Exactly, yeah. Still dystopian.

Eugene: More eating, less rollerblading.

John: Yes. Yeah.

Eugene: All right, I’m just going to run through my notes in no logical order, and some of them are picky, and some of them we’ve already covered. So, opening sequence. The ship flies over Earth, it’s in orbit over New Chicago, and who is out there? It’s Wilma and Buck. And why are Wilma and Buck out there? Well, presumably Wilma’s out there because they don’t have anybody else in Earth Defense Force whose job it is to be on duty when something happens and fly up. You know, someone is on scramble, scramble. It’s like, oh, it’s Wilma today. No, I don’t think it is. I do not think it’s going to be Wilma. I think it’s going to be a grunt. But OK. And then this thing, this obviously advanced thing. It’s like, oh, we brought Buck along just in case it happened to be a 20th century space probe. Really?

John: Something ancient.

Eugene: Something ancient. It’s like, really? I think it was just an excuse to have the two of you in the opening sequence. Other than that. Yeah. One of those things. So this weapon is not really a weapon. It’s a mining device. And it’s kind of funny. It’s a it’s an interesting little line that our dollar says that is more interesting than the rest of the episode to me. And that is, we found it on one of our two-year expeditions to the Galactic Center.

John: Yes. I’d like to hear more about that, please.

Eugene: Yes, I would, too.

John: What other things did you find? And what is at the Galactic Center? Is it chewy or crunchy?

Eugene: Maybe at some point, Buck will manage to get himself on a starship, and they can go exploring space, the final frontier, and go on missions. It would be horrible. It would be horrible. it would definitely be a mistake yeah yeah so but if this thing is such an incredibly powerful weapon you can’t destroy it with your guns uh how did the draconians get it.

John: Oh i’m gonna guess what they did is they went to the people who are running it killed them and then took the control equipment there you go problem solved except.

Eugene: That they have this massive weapon.

John: Yes that they use as a mining device and they’re terribly short-sighted didn’t realize it could be used as a weapon it’s like every science fiction book and movie where you have a spacecraft with a fusion drive or something like that fusion drives are great for moving a spaceship really fast but you turn it around and it is an awesome weapon, You could probably flatten an entire planet, given a short amount of time.

Eugene: Yeah, I suppose. So I’m going to say, I think I’ve said this before, I like Buck Rogers in the 25th century. I like Gil Gerard as Buck Rogers in the 25th century. He comes off as a really amiable guy, likable person, who can be a bit of a jerk, obviously.

John: Oh, yeah.

Eugene: So he’s got a little bit of a thing. So I have no complaints about his portrayal or the casting of him. But you have really got to sell me a bill of goods to convince me that Buck Rogers is the most genetically perfect man in the galaxy.

John: Well, I would say that his genetic material is probably fresher. Yeah, fresher.

Eugene: Less worn down. yes.

John: I would say that it’s because he comes from a time before the atomic holocaust and he doesn’t have that higher background radiation degradation of his dna that everybody else on earth would have and all the colonies and stuff.

Eugene: Ignoring the.

John: Whole if you’re asleep in a spaceship for 500 years you’re still absorbing radiation so you would have well whatever uh science technical stuff i will dispel it with a modicum of hand wavium there done.

Eugene: Would you have thought that our dolla was the universe’s biggest optimist because you’ve got you’ve got a situation here of half glass full half glass empty uh half full most genetically perfect man in the galaxy half empty least degenically compromised man in the galaxy yeah and then that doesn’t take into account all the draconians who i are they men does it have to be a human from earth i mean that part’s a little i mean we know why ardala wants him ardala wants him because, yeah exactly wants him but exactly but you know somebody else has got to be convinced that he’s the most genetically perfect guy in the galaxy like the emperor and like the people of draconia.

John: So, yeah, I believe there is an episode that actually is about having genetic perfection.

Eugene: I believe you’re correct.

John: Don’t want to skip into the future, but I’m sure we can revisit this soon.

Eugene: We are going to violate the temporal prime directive a little bit later here in this episode. But apart from that, we’ll we’ll try to. Yeah, we’ll try to generally sort of. I didn’t mention that there’s going to be a rock and roll band later on. So that was, despite the roller disco.

John: I had forgotten that. Thanks.

Eugene: You’re welcome. Wait till you hear 20 minutes of that same song. The only tune they play. But we’ll come to that. Your seems to have been demoted. Did you get that feeling?

John: No. From what little I saw of him in the episode, he seemed to be.

Eugene: He wasn’t the guy that made the decision to send Buck back it was the Federation Council well.

John: Maybe there’s been a push for more oversight.

Eugene: Yeah that’s what I mean in previous episodes going back say you know like to the first few of the season he was pretty much the word, even though he was just in charge of quote unquote the defense director He seemed to be the boss man in absence of the computer council. But in this, he’s he’s maybe the head chairman of the council. I’m not sure. But he certainly didn’t feel like he was calling the shots at times. And I thought it was kind of odd But then if he had been calling the shots Then he definitely would have been the guy Who had to crumble And go, I’m sorry, Buck, I’m going to have to send you to Ardala I know that that’s against our principles And I said I wouldn’t do it, But, you know, they blew up a, you know, a thing and they could kill us all. And the, and the weird part is I know they’ve got the whole ploy about Buck going out into the atomic, the green lush atomic waste.

John: Yes.

Eugene: But anybody who knows Buck would go, Buck would just turn himself in. He would just go, you know, you have no choice. I’ll, I’ll go do it. I’m going to win it here, you know? but he didn’t he did that whole subterfuge thing yeah it’s kind of odd yeah also the federation council i love the fact that heuer is like all right well theo i’m gonna need your help rounding up the federation council what are they cattle it’s like there’s an odd turn of phrase it’s like and you think you can figure it out he’s like i’m thinking earth’s been attacked the federation council probably should have tuned in on the tv yeah i’ve been notified that there’s been yeah some developments but it sounds like they’re off doing you know whatever and see if you can find them i think some are at the spa yeah go go check the local.

John: Bars and the jail.

Eugene: So here’s the other thing we briefly touched on it, but this is an odd episode because of how, what a wonderfully principled stand they take. You know, we will not turn somebody over for blackmail. Oh yeah. Yeah, we will. We will turn somebody over for blackmail because like I say, you know, presumably they’re supposed to stand for something. and you don’t the threat didn’t change right our dollar showed what the weapon could do, and they’re like she can blow a hole in the ground outside new chicago well we have principles no you can’t have buck rogers and we’ll stand up to him and say no you can’t have buck rogers and then she blows up a couple ample buildings a little closer to town and they’re all like okay oh oh, she could actually shoot us it’s like turn that guy over right now get over that guy right now yeah do we really.

John: Need this gentleman in our society no we don’t.

Eugene: And it really is goofy because in any other episode buck would have assessed that situation on the ground at the beginning and said you guys have no choice i have to go oh yeah and he could have said, Let’s get the plans to the Draconian. But he didn’t. He pretended like he’s running off. And I don’t know. It was.

John: My guess is that I would have been very interested to actually find out how he did this. But maybe he smuggled. What’s the guy’s name?

Eugene: Garridan.

John: Garridan.

Eugene: Sounds like a monster from Ultra Q.

John: Yeah, it does, actually.

Eugene: Yeah.

John: Smuggle the kaiju egg back From the draconian ship And incubate it Oh wait no, Yeah Maybe he smuggled them to Earth, because i mean.

Eugene: Why wouldn’t earth give him asylum but okay you.

John: Have a draconian who’s sitting out living in a cave uh.

Eugene: Yeah yeah why okay are there any.

John: Other draconian sitting out there.

Eugene: Other well we’ve come back to that in a few minutes won’t we but yeah so here’s my question so buck does go to the guy buck convinces him to help but the only way they’re going to get that information in sufficient detail is to take him back to new chicago and scan his brain how exactly was he going to do that i don’t know actually out there going hey could you just draw me a hand map of the draconian yeah exactly put an x on the spot where you think they might have installed a new secret secret weapon that you’ve never heard of before right.

John: You know what’s the most logical place to put it yeah.

Eugene: What was he gonna do he had to be taken back and have his brain scan. It’s the only way this would have worked.

John: Yeah. I’m guessing that his idea was, he was, he was going to talk to him and appeal to his sense of right and wrong and all that kind of fun stuff.

Eugene: Then you have to come back and get scanned.

John: Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Eugene: Would have been so much easier if he just gone out there right away and you know, but why did he have to have a motorcycle? Why couldn’t he just take one of the ground cars?

John: Well, you know, cause motorcycles were in back then.

Eugene: With sidecars with yes with sidecars that was convenient for tweak yeah yeah well so i i do want to say this though you know turning buck over was a betrayal by the spineless council that is that was a you know we sacrifice your life for ours hi we’re craven but dot somebody putting a tracker on tweaky seems like you were all the way Ha ha. Right. I mean, that’s even more of a, that that’s a, Oh heck.

John: It was just a little air tag they found.

Eugene: That feels a little more, I don’t know, calculating. The council is just like, Ooh, quaking in their boots. Fine. We’ll turn him over. But here had to go ahead and do something to make sure I can catch Buck in the event that the council decides to turn him over.

John: Right.

Eugene: So that’s some… Yeah, that’s just odd.

John: Well, I think also that Hewer understands that Buck may have other plans and may not be very forthcoming with that information to the council. And yeah, let’s keep tabs on that.

Eugene: That truly is Dr. Hewer betraying Buck.

John: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Eugene: I mean, that definitely he he needs to eat that split pea soup.

John: Yes, he does. Yes, he does.

Eugene: You will eat this soup, and I don’t care how bad it is.

John: Yeah.

Eugene: You will deal with it.

John: I’m pretty sure that the food that Buck makes and offers and tries to get everybody to eat is his form of retribution and passive aggressiveness towards these people. Because he really can’t do anything else to them. I mean, they give him a place to live and something to do, and he’s helping out and stuff.

Eugene: But still, here’s something we do not know about Buck Rogers. And in a way, it makes a difference. Is Buck Rogers a good cook back in the 20th century? Or is Buck Rogers not a good cook? And so, see, it makes a difference if he was good and here he is in the future. He can’t make good because of the ingredients. or he is good and they can’t stand it because they don’t like his food. We don’t know which it is. We really don’t know.

John: I’m thinking because he goes out and he tries to recreate things from his past and stuff that he liked to eat that he might have, I wouldn’t say he’d be an excellent cook, but I think he was passable. You know, he, and he figures, yeah, this is a way for me to, you know, spend some time working on stuff and, you know, passing the time period and also to kind of recreate a little bit of home with what he’s got. And he’s good enough in the kitchen that he knows that that those, that’s the tool set that he can use to do this.

Eugene: So let’s face it if you if you were a bad cook and i can honestly say i’ve never had any food you’ve cooked i don’t know whether you’re a good cook or bad cook but it’s like if you were a bad cook and you were displaced 500 years right in the future and you were like oh i really really I really wish I had pizza. You might be inclined to try it. Good cook or not. Right. I mean, that’s, as you say, it’s that nostalgia factor. It’s like, you know, there is no other way. I’m just going to have to do this. I don’t know. I just feel like I wish I knew that about Buck because he does not come off like James Bond. James Bond, you know, is an excellent cook. He probably studied the Cordon Bleu, right? It doesn’t matter. He knows all the right wines. He knows exactly the food. He could cook anything he wants, but he doesn’t. He eats in fine restaurants, but he could. Buck? Don’t know. The guy might be able to burn a hamburger every time. we just don’t know and i don’t know i feel like i wish i did because i think they could make the jokes funnier about his food well.

John: Hieronymus fox seemed to like his cooking didn’t he.

Eugene: Yes now remember hieronymus fox though had given him a pointer the chili to make with the reptile so actually buck may have been doing better because hieronymus gave him a way to make it Because it sounds like Hieronymus Fox is a lot smarter than Buck, and Hieronymus Fox has spent more time trying to figure out how to get what he wants. And he has the resources of a whole planet that are willing to do anything for him. So, yeah. You know, we asked about, are there any other draconians living on the planet? I want to know is, A, sure, okay, Hura put a tracker on Tweaky, and they tracked Tweaky, which led them to Buck.

John: Right.

Eugene: Buck says, how did the DeCronians find me? They said, oh, they honed in on the same signal. One, how did they know that that signal was intended to be able to track Buck Rogers? And two, how did they get armed troops with vehicles on the surface of the earth?

John: Yeah, I guess that dome or sphere of protection that they had earlier is no longer working. Perhaps the warranty expired.

Eugene: They still know when ships are coming. You’d think they’d know if Draconia had launched a shuttle with, you know, armored ground troops on it.

John: Yeah, I know.

Eugene: That part was weird. And was that the Logan’s Run vehicle just repurposed?

John: No, I think those might have been from Battlestar Galactica. well.

Eugene: The the ones for earth defense but the one for the draconians was very similar.

John: I don’t i don’t think so i think if they would have i think they would have had a lot to do a lot of work cutting the top off from that the car didn’t have a top off the draconians one didn’t, sure i thought they were standing open you know with their guns ready to blaze the.

Eugene: Humans were but the Triconians were kind of hanging out the side. I think they may have put a turret on the top.

John: Oh, maybe that’s what it was. Now, I don’t think it was a solar car. I could be wrong. I think it was one of the, oh, not the snow rams. No.

Eugene: Well, they had the snow rams and the land rams on Galactica.

John: Maybe? I’d have to go find one of those episodes and look.

Eugene: Yeah. Why is it not a barren wasteland?

John: I don’t know. Oh, because Southern California isn’t like that, especially in the TMZ.

Eugene: Ah, okay. It seems to me like Earth is kind of a pleasant place you could go actually start living in again.

John: I know, it wasn’t that bad, except for the, you know, fleshy-headed mutants, which we don’t see much of.

Eugene: No, no, in fact, they probably got blown up in that first blast.

John: Yeah, exactly, they’re gone.

Eugene: Whoops, old Chicago, boom, there you go. So, Buck gets on board the Draconia, and he gets in a little frisky time, a little phase one frisky with the Princess. I think it’s very interesting the way this show is structured. clearly buck is banging everything he can get except for wilma and ardala, right i mean even wilma says i mean the maintenance bot this is i’m not the first person that you snuck in here you know yeah but buck will not do ardala, he won’t even take one for the team he always gets out of sleeping with her, I think his deception would be a lot more convincing if he actually did. Right. It would be a lot more convincing if he slept with her and then put her to sleep. With his little device.

John: Oh, that would be more, more James Bond-ish.

Eugene: Yes, I know. I know. And it’s, it is, Buck is clearly adhering to this sort of, I don’t like Ardala, therefore, I will not, I will not sleep with her. No matter how hard she tries.

John: Yeah, I think that’s pretty much just it. Yeah.

Eugene: I think that’s it. I think it’s just a television thing for the kids. We’re just not going to, we’re just not going to allow that, but it is kind of, and then who was the idiot who decided the thing would only keep her unconscious for 15 minutes?

John: Yeah, that’s unfortunate.

Eugene: That was really short or it felt really short. Maybe he was wandering around the ship for hours, but it doesn’t feel like that. No, it feels like he, you know, kind of went more or less to the right to the place and maybe within half an hour. and then so she wakes up so the device is not very useful, Another thing I am used by on this and several other episodes, it’s the time that this show was made. All the henchmen. What do most of the henchmen draconians have that really is out of place? Very 70s. That’s exactly it. Horrible mustaches. I know, you know, it’s not the United States military and they’ve got hair requirements. and things but the jaconians do look pretty weird just getting a bunch of disco bros with their. Their brush mustaches and sticking a helmet on them going you’re a soldier now boy yeah exactly, does not does not work kane has a great line i think it’s a great line i think it’s it’s one of the it’s one of the he has a couple of pretty decent lines in this episode one of which was that one i mentioned earlier in the recap about i only have to wait until the princess kills you because yeah you know that will happen he knows that buck rogers will do something that will cause her to and then kill him so you know he’s right there rogers is a temporary problem but when he shoots him which thank you rogers beats up a couple of mustached guards and then cane shoots him because yeah that’s what guns are for you’re a stubborn man rogers maybe that’s what the princess sees in you right that is that is pretty insightful because i think that’s part of it i mean i think she thinks rogers is pretty but i also think that it is because he is so stubbornly dead set against her right yeah she it’s like this is the kind of guy i need in my life right.

John: Pardon the analogy but she’s found a mountain that she must climb.

Eugene: Oh, you said pardon the analogy. I thought you said harden the analogy.

John: Whoa. That went so quick, didn’t it?

Eugene: Oh, yeah, it did. It did. It’s like, oh, yeah, got it.

John: Yeah.

Eugene: Speaking of breaking the temporal prime directive.

John: Yes.

Eugene: Here we go. this is the first appearance of michael ansara as cane placing henry silva in the the movie right the movie and you know he’s a different character he plays it differently but i i like this cane so i’m fine with that but there are some weird things about this episode not just including Cain, there is a later episode of the series called Ardala Returns. And looking at what it’s about and what I recall about it, more logically, that should have come before this one. Right. It it’s more about the old hat replacing the hatchet fighters and Tiger man is still in it as her guard. And, you know, you watch this episode and you would think at the end of it, who is not going to have a job head or life after this? Tiger man.

John: Exactly.

Eugene: He should be gone. And in fact, in our dollars, then subsequent return, he has been replaced by Panther man, different actor, same role, but different guy. As if, if you had swapped these two around, our dollar returns, she does this thing, Buck defeats her again. I think, I think that’s not spoilery enough that we can go there. And then she comes in She goes wow he beat me twice I really want that guy for my husband Comes back Tries to get him Can’t do it. So then kills Tiger man because obviously Kills tiger man and then she comes back again With panther man As far as I can tell though that it’s not It’s not borne out by the production Order, But it really feels to me Like they thought, you know because you could have just called this one our dollar returns because that’s what you need to know our dollar is back but yeah but by the time it’s the third appearance of our dollar i don’t think our dollar returns is the right name i think at the very least it’s our dollar returns yet again so i don’t know it it feels it feels like this is confused and they are being shown not in production order order but if the production numbers in Wikipedia are to be believed, this did come before unless the production numbers don’t mean the order they were made in either so I don’t know, but just kind of just kind of weird, I thought we weren’t going to you know looking at the list I thought we were going to see her again until our dollar returns but no here we go, Hats off to Buck trying to get Cain to double-cross the Emperor.

John: Yeah, that was a nice little, I want to say trick, but.

Eugene: Didn’t go anywhere.

John: No, well, it learned something about Cain, and that was important.

Eugene: Yeah, he’s smarter. He’s smarter than the rest of the Draconians.

John: Yes, the ones that we see anyways, yes.

Eugene: Yeah you know all our dolla needs is is buck the appearance of a wedding the crown on her head perhaps an offspring or two and then put that collar on buck and zap it into non-existence yep um it’s an interesting it’s an interesting idea it feels like i’ve seen it somewhere else but i can’t for the life of me think where the neck collar thing for oh that um keeping, matrimonial fidelity i.

John: Don’t know about matrimonial fidelity but wasn’t there something like that in the star trek animated series so one of the characters is was wearing something that he kept constricting around their neck yeah i don’t know i might be confusing that with a book i read i don’t know.

Eugene: Yeah and sign of the times if only opec could see me now oh.

John: Yes that was a nice little dig there.

Eugene: But it’s still gasoline oh yeah that’s the future we don’t he can just make gasoline and put i hope nothing else uses it ness just he had to get dr what’s his name to down at the archives to find him something to do as a gas substitute but, yeah i think they solved that better in babylon 5 when lanier put the uh mimbari clean energy device in garibaldi’s motorcycle for him there’s no way he could get gas for it so just put a different power source in there.

John: Oh yeah that makes sense.

Eugene: I don’t know that I have anything else on this episode.

John: I did notice that when they were watching the video screen initially in Hewer’s office and our doll is on it, if you look to the right of the screen, you can clearly see folded up gray duct tape covering some holes in the panel. It’s like, okay, why not?

Eugene: Well, wait a minute. That’s after the explosion knocked a bunch of stuff around, though.

John: No no no i.

Eugene: Think it was duct tape or gaffer’s tape.

John: It was shiny and gray it was definitely okay okay yeah okay or some sort of gaffer’s cape no well you know it might have been gray gaffer’s tape come to think of it but it wouldn’t well they might have hit it with gloss coat who knows didn’t have that fibrous look that duct tape has yeah but it was clearly tape.

Eugene: Hmm yeah i think if ardala was on screen i probably did not notice the tape.

John: Hey you know you watch the episode enough and it’s like okay i’m gonna look at other things now fair.

Eugene: Enough wilma for for starters and you know she only has two off-duty dresses in this or one off-duty dress in this episode.

John: Oh yeah interesting outfit i think that was probably reused in heart beeps.

Eugene: For bernadette peters.

John: Yes character.

Eugene: There’s there’s one for you heart.

John: Beeps please nobody nobody go out and look for that nobody needs to endure that, I own the DVD. I’m not very proud of that, but I do.

Eugene: Yeah, I’ve seen bits of it. Let’s see. That was enough.

John: Yeah, that’s about it.

Eugene: Well, I think that’s probably more than enough.

John: Mm-hmm.

Eugene: We have successfully escaped from wedded bliss. Yes. And the next episode of Fuck Rogers is Cruise Ship to the Stars or something like that.

John: That is correct. Cruise Ship to the Stars.

Eugene: Oh, it really is that. Wow. That is.

John: From December of 1979.

Eugene: That is more cliche than I thought. I knew it was about a cruise ship, but I did not realize it was literally Cruise Ship to the Stars.

John: I think this was when Love Boat was pretty popular, wasn’t it? Probably. Did that come later? I don’t know. Boy, I really don’t want to look that up.

Eugene: No, I don’t think I want to look that up either, but I will. Because now you’ve made me…

John: Yeah, 76 is when the first episode aired.

Eugene: Well, there you go. So yes, cruise ships. Well, cruise ships, I think, were popular back then.

John: Yeah.

Eugene: Anyway. So everybody loved a good cruise ship. They’re exciting and exotic.

John: And new.

Eugene: Before everybody found it, before they found out that it was nothing but a disease fest to sell you.

John: Yes.

Eugene: Tell you stuff and take your money at the casino. Yeah. No, but I’m not bitter. I’m not bitter. John, thank you for joining me.

John: You’re welcome.

Eugene: And listeners, I hope you’ll join us all again next time on Fusion Patrol.

This week Simon and Eugene look at the Bugs episode Twin Geeks, and discuss their disappointment at the size of this episodes’s explosions, whether lawyers are as scarce as police in Bugs Land, and they lament the lack of eccentric British gauge collectors in this episode.

Next week: Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, Escape from Wedded Bliss
Next time when we look at Bugs, it’s the 2-part series finale Money Spiders & The Enemy Within

In this episode of Fusion Patrol, the Kenneth and Eugene review The Invaders episode “The Experiment,” which features guest star Roddy McDowall as the son of an astrophysicist targeted by alien brainwashing. The discussion highlights the story’s strong Cold War influences, noting how the plot mirrors spy thrillers like The Manchurian Candidate by effectively substituting aliens for Soviet agents.

Transcript

This week Simon and Eugene look at the last nugget of the Disney-BBC Doctor Who deal, the War Between the Land and the Sea where they discuss parallels between the modern UNIT and Torchwood, whether Kate Lethbridge-Stewart is the true heir to the Brigadier, and Eugene explains why the naming of Homo Aqua is as inappropriate as the naming of the Silurians.

This week Fusion Patrol looks at Buck Rogers in the 25th Century – Season 1, Episode 11, Cosmic Whiz Kid as John and Eugene discuss—

Buck sidelined while Wilma saves the day
Cross-promotion stunt casting with Gary Coleman
Ray Walston as an unconvincing villain
The timeline and age math that do not work
Aldebaran 2 as a lawless world with municipal androids and no police

Cosmic Whiz Kid Airdate: November 15, 1979 Runtime: 60 minutes Starring: Gil Gerard, Erin Gray, Tim O’Connor Guest Stars: Gary Coleman, Ray Walston Director: Leslie H. Martinson Writer: Alan Brennert (teleplay), Anne Collins (story) Synopsis: When child genius and President of the planet Genesia Hieronymous Fox is kidnapped by criminal Roderick Zale, his bodyguard seeks help from Earth’s Defense Directorate. Buck Rogers is pulled from a planned vacation and teams up with Lieutenant Dia Cyrton to rescue Fox from Aldebaran II before Zale can use him as leverage for political gain.

This week Fusion Patrol looks at The Andromeda Strain as Ben and Eugene discuss hard science fiction tension built from plausible medical and military technology; human errors, prejudice, and design flaws that nearly trigger nuclear catastrophe; Nostalgic enthusiasm for long‑forgotten light pen computer interfaces; and a strangely prominent topless corpse and its clash with the film’s G‑rated reputation.

THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN
Release Date: March 12, 1971 
Runtime: 131 minutes 
Starring: Arthur Hill, David Wayne, James Olson, Kate Reid
 Director: Robert Wise 
Writer: Nelson Gidding 
Synopsis: After a government satellite crashes in a small New Mexico town, nearly all residents die instantly from a mysterious extraterrestrial organism. An elite team of scientists is assembled in a secret underground facility to isolate the virus and determine why an elderly man and an infant were the only survivors. They must race against time and a nuclear self-destruct mechanism to neutralize the threat before it causes a global pandemic.

This week we look at “Bugs: Jewel Control” as Simon and Eugene discuss electricity billing, Beckett’s impressive Chinese reading capabilities, and whether Bugs is part of the same universe as Torchwood and whether it shares some of the same strengths and flaws.

Jewel Control“Airdate: ” August 29, 1998
“Runtime:” 50
“Starring: ” Jaye Griffiths, Jesse Birdsall, Steven Houghton
“Guest Stars: ” Naoko Mori
“Director: “John Stroud
“Writer: “Colin Brake
“Synopsis: ” A Colombian emerald baron plans to use an ancient Continuation of Government facility to take control of the world’s jewel market. The team is alerted when Colombian gangster Diaz enters the country and has a connection to an old friend of Ros’.

This week Fusion Patrol looks at “The Invaders: Beachhead” as Kenneth and Eugene discuss—

Every aspect of the David Vincent’s life being systematically destroyed,
Uncertainty about who is alien and who is actually human,
Unreliable pinky gestures and Creator Larry Cohen’s intended symbolism of the aliens’ extended pinky,
and they posit whether anyone would notice the difference between Bud’s and Kelly’s Diner

Beachhead Airdate: January 10, 1967 Runtime: 51 minutes Starring: Roy Thinnes Guest Stars: Diane Baker, J.D. Cannon, James Daly Director: Joseph Sargent Writer: Anthony Wilson (teleplay), Larry Cohen (story & creator) Synopsis: Architect David Vincent, tired from a late-night drive, stumbles upon an alien landing in a remote town. Unable to convince anyone of what he’s seen, Vincent finds his life unraveling as he obsesses over the mysterious invaders hiding in plain sight.

This week Fusion Patrol looks at the 1973 movie Soylent Green as John and Eugene discuss if starving people even care if Soylent Green is people, Charlton Heston’s most human performance in a dystopian film, women treated as apartment “furniture” in a collapsing society, and Edward G. Robinson’s final acting role as his own death scene

Soylent Green Release Date: May 9, 1973 Runtime: 97 minutes Starring: Charlton Heston, Leigh Taylor-Young, Edward G. Robinson, Chuck Connors, Joseph Cotten, Brock Peters, Paula Kelly, Stephen Young, Mike Henry, Whit Bissell Director: Richard Fleischer Writer: Stanley R. Greenberg (screenplay), Harry Harrison (novel) Synopsis: In a polluted and overpopulated New York City in the year 2022, detective Robert Thorn uncovers the corporate murder linked to a popular food product called Soylent Green. As Thorn investigates, he discovers the disturbing secret behind the food that sustains the masses, while society teeters on the brink of environmental catastrophe.

This week Fusion Patrol looks at Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, “Planet of the Amazon Women” as John and Eugene discuss

Looking “like leftover dinner” as an insult.
The proper technique for making a grilled cheese sandwich, which doesn’t involve holding bread over an open flame.
Twiki’s use of the phrase “Holy Toledo.”

Planet of the Amazon Women Airdate: 1 November 1979

Runtime: 49 minutes

Starring: Gil Gerard, Erin Gray, Tim O’Connor

Guest Stars: Ann Dusenberry, Jay Robinson, Anne Jeffreys

Director: Philip Leacock

Writer: D.C. Fontana, Richard Fontana

Synopsis: Buck is tricked into landing on the planet Zantia, where he is made a prisoner before being sold as a slave to Ariela, the daughter of the planet’s Prime Minister. While living on the planet, Buck learns that all male members of Zantia’s population have become prisoners of war while battling the planet Ruathan.

Simon and Eugene look at Season 4, episode 6 of Bugs — Pandora’s Box.

They discuss why you can’t fix a sixth century plague with modern technology, Beckett’s annoying, sexy upstairs neighbor, and why blowing things up is a much better solution to a contagion than containment.

Pandora’s Box Airdate: April 8, 1995 Runtime: 50 minutes Starring: Jesse Birdsall, Craig McLachlan, Jaye Griffiths Guest Stars: Michael Jenn, Paul Brightwell, Michael Garland Director: Ken Grieve Writer: Stephen Gallagher Synopsis: The Bugs team investigates the theft of an ancient Arthurian sword from a high-security vault. Unbeknownst to the thieves, the blade carries a lethal, long-dormant biological contagion that threatens to devastate London if not contained. Ed, Ros, and Beckett face a race against time to recover the sword, stop its sale on the black market, and prevent an epidemic.

Kenneth and Eugene discuss the final two parts of Children of the Dog Star, with the episodes Kolob, and Alien Contact.

Kolob Airdate: October 6, 1984 Runtime: 24 minutes Starring: Sarah Dunn, Jason Wallace, Hamish Bartle Guest Stars: Roy Billing, Susan Wilson, Catherine Wilkin, Raymond Hawthorne Director: Chris Bailey Writer: Ken Catran Synopsis: Gretchen finally uncovers the source of the strange power emanating from the swamp and learns some of its secrets, with help from Ronny and Bevis. As the children piece together the remains of the alien probe Kolob, they discover its true purpose and must decide whether its abilities should be unleashed, all while local tensions and warnings intensify. Alien Contact Airdate: October 13, 1984 Runtime: 24 minutes Starring: Sarah Dunn, Jason Wallace, Hamish Bartle Guest Stars: Roy Billing, Susan Wilson, Catherine Wilkin, Raymond Hawthorne Director: Chris Bailey Writer: Ken Catran Synopsis: When the alien power behind Kolob grows unstable, Ronny and Gretchen must act before disaster strikes the community. The children establish direct communication with Sirius B, uncovering the probe’s true origins and the reason for its mission on Earth. In the end, they face a difficult decision that will determine the fate of the alien technology and those around them.

John and Eugene talk about the time Buck Rogers met the Scream Queen, Jamie Lee Curtis, and they discuss the Tennessee delicacy, sand squid, as they look at the episode Unchained Woman.

Unchained Woman Airdate: November 1, 1979 Runtime: 48 minutes Starring: Gil Gerard, Erin Gray, Tim O’Connor, Pamela Hensley, Felix Silla, Mel Blanc Guest Stars: Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael DeLano, Walter Hunter Director: Dick Lowry Writer: Michael Bryant Synopsis: Buck Rogers infiltrates a desert prison colony on Zeta Minor to free Jen Burton, a young woman jailed for her boyfriend’s crimes and needed to testify against him. Their perilous escape from the colony is complicated by the relentless pursuit of ‘Hugo,’ a damaged yet unstoppable android. The journey exposes loyalties, betrayal, and the harsh realities of justice in the 25th century.

This week, Ben and Eugene look at the 1956 Japanese Kaiju classic, Rodan!

Or, as originally known, Sora no Daikaiju, Radon.

Rodan Release Date: December 26, 1956 (Japan), August 6, 1957 (US)

Runtime: 74 minutes

Starring: Kenji Sahara, Yumi Shirakawa, Akihiko Hirata

Director: Ishirô Honda

Writer: Takeshi Kimura, Takeo Murata (screenplay), based on story by Ken Kuronuma

Synopsis: Mining engineer Shigeru Kawamura investigates the deaths of his colleagues and discovers prehistoric nymphs along with a gigantic flying creature called Rodan. After Rodan terrorizes several towns, authorities attempt to stop the devastating monster in its destructive path.

I’m dropping a little detour here into the show notes, not directly about Rodan, but just because you may be interested. “Rodan! The Flying Monster” (1957) as it was billed in the US was distributed in association with King Brothers Productions, who, among other things, went on to produce Gorgo (1961), which is a film we’ll look at soon here on Fusion Patrol.

Friend of the show Anthony McKay has done a history of the King Brothers as part of his coverage of Gorgo for the most recently released issue of Little Shoppe of Horrors (Issue #52.)

If you’re interested in reading more, in the US, you can purchase it here, and if you’re in the UK, you can find it at Hemlock Books here. (Issue 52 wasn’t yet available on the UK site as of this writing, but should be soon.)

(This is not a paid promotion. Anthony provides us with a lot of fascinating background information, and he has written some fascinating articles for LSoH.)

Simon and Eugene look Season 4, Episode 5 of Bugs, Hell and High Water. They discuss how this throws back to earlier Bugs episodes, whether Alex commits the most unethical act seen in the show so far, and if you work on defense contracts and give your computer to a museum, whether you should check what’s on it first.

Hell and High Water Airdate: August 8, 1998 Runtime: 48 minutes Starring: Jaye Griffiths, Jesse Birdsall, Steven Houghton, Jan Harvey, Paula Hunt Guest Stars: TBA Director: Brian Grant Writer: Brian Clemens, Colin Brake Synopsis: When a military satellite threatens to crash into Earth, the Bugs team races against time to reach a remote tracking station and prevent global disaster.

Hello and welcome to this not-actually-an-episode of Fusion Patrol. I’m Eugene, and I’m all alone here today.

Have you noticed that Fusion Patrol episode numbers just keep getting higher and higher? Here we are at over 750 episodes. Our first episode dropped in April of 2010. That’s over 15 years. That’s like 30 to 60 times longer than many of the TV series that we’ve discussed here on the podcast.

Some people would say our discussions are sometimes 30 to 60 times longer than the episodes too. But that’s a different story.

15 years is a long time. And a lot has changed in the world and also in podcasting itself.

Listening to what I just said, I realize this might sound like an announcement of something drastic, like the end of the podcast.

It is not that. Far from it.

I do the podcast for fun, and I have been very fortunate to have a series of great co-hosts who are also doing this for fun. The podcast is still fun for me, so it goes on. But 15 years ago, I was, shock and dismay, younger and also more naive. Podcasting was newer and represented this new non-corporate frontier for creative outlets.

And, you know, hindsight’s a wonderful thing. And I can look back and I can see that I was deliriously optimistic in my estimation of the potential audience. Let me give you my thinking.

At that time, podcasting represented a vast potential audience devoid of the financial restrictions of commercial TV or radio.
I would have worldwide access to people who are, well, let’s just say it, nerds, people who were technically savvy enough to understand and do the podcast thing. These were my people, so to speak.
The idea behind Fusion Patrol was based on local meetings in Phoenix of TARDIS and the United Federation of Phoenix, both of which were and still are longstanding local fan clubs that during the 1990s spent a lot of time watching TV shows and then over pizza later on talking about them. But even in the nascent podcast space of the early 2010s, Doctor Who and Star Trek were overrepresented. And therefore, the idea of generally avoiding these shows and concentrating on other, less common shows came about.
My thought was that better to be a big splash in a small pond rather than a small splash in a big pond. We’ll come back to that pond later on.
But of course, this was also the heyday of old nostalgia programmings getting DVD release. Shows that had been rarely seen in decades were beginning to show up, and programs from international markets were becoming available. So it was fertile ground, I thought.

But we are coming to the point of this little dissertation. Slowly, but we’re getting there.

Anyway, I was thinking at the time that Fusion Patrol was going to inhabit a niche uncovered by other podcasts, and in retrospect, we have. I have seen so many other podcasts come and go that have tried to muscle into our milieu.

In our current structure, we are doing an episode each from three different series and a movie every month. And we’ve still lapped other podcasts. Podcasts dedicated to shows like Blakes 7, Kolchak the Night Stalker, Crime Traveller and others have come, and sometimes they even got there before we started, and then we still beat them to the finish, and sometimes they never even made it to the finish.

We at Fusion Patrol are reliable, or as my dad used to say, “Glovers are just damn stubborn.”

I do still keep an eye out for these other podcasts because I genuinely like hearing other considered viewpoints. I’ve seen a lot of them come and go, and there’s one seemingly universal constant. There just aren’t enough listeners to justify the expense of the effort. I’ve always assumed that, like me, they expected, and when I say like me, I mean originally, they expected that the audience would prove sufficient to ultimately turn some form of a profit.

And I’m not going to lie, you know, when I started out, I really did kind of think, my gosh, There are so many thousands of us in the world that there must be something. And I thought, well, we’ll just build an audience and we’ll see what kind of revenue opportunities make sense.

But the sad reality is this is a small pond. There may be billions of potential people, but there aren’t billions of listeners.

So as you’ve guessed by now, this is actually about money. So let’s just talk brass tacks.

You are probably sick to death of the Patreon/Buy Me a Coffee spiel baked into the end credits. Or if you’re not sick to death, you’ve probably become so inured to it that you just don’t hear it anymore or you skip the end credits. Well, you know, whatever. It’s fine, and whereas you may be sick of it, do you know what I am? I’m embarrassed by it.

I am embarrassed to have to ask. And even in this most cursory fashion, every time I hear it, it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up, and I am embarrassed by it.

Nonetheless, let me say, if you are already a Patreon donor, or you’re someone who has donated to us through Buy Me A Coffee, whether one time or repeatedly, we can do this one of two ways. We can go With A Really Big Thank You. Or we can go with the effusive sort of thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

What the hell? We could go with both. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I honestly cannot express how much I appreciate it. I can only liken it to when you’re on a stage and you actually feel the applause from the audience. It is so much more than just money.

But I also get that you, many of you, most of you can’t support every podcast you listen to. I support some podcasts on Patreon, but I have to be very selective about it. And I try to send it where I think it will have the most impact with small podcasts.

Fusion Patrol had been running for five years before we even got a Patreon account. Over 200 episodes had been published. And I didn’t like the idea of asking then. I still don’t like it now. But at the time, I quipped, with your support, we could continue for another 200 episodes. And here we are, 500 episodes later.

In actual dollars, cold, hard, physical cash that I never see because it’s not cash, it’s electronic. But, you know, it’s money. The podcast costs me annually about 750 US dollars or sixty three dollars a month. And I’ve recently been notified of an eight percent increase on some of the hosting costs that’s coming in October. And those costs don’t include like the DVDs and Blu-rays that I purchased to discuss on the show.

So, if it’s financially within your means, and you find Fusion Patrol of value, I’m asking you, as sincerely and humbly as I can, if you would consider becoming a Patreon donor.

And if you’re one of those people who has a problem with Patreon, and there are plenty of legitimate reasons why you might, you can also donate either one time or monthly by way of Buy Me a Coffee.

But wait, there’s more. If you’ve listened this far, I imagine you’re a regular listener. So I would like to put a couple of other ideas out there.

We know, and when I say “we,” I mean the podcast industry, that for any population of listeners, there will only be a small percentage who can or will financially support a podcast. It’s a fact of life. We are a small podcast. This is a small pond. The revenue pool cannot be big.

It does depend on which shows we’re reviewing at the moment. But generally, generally, we get in the order of about a thousand listens a month, which is not a lot. However, 95% of those are considered impactful, which which just means that the listener listened to at least 75% of the podcast before they gave up. So that’s actually quite good. That means that the people who are listening are listening to the podcast all the way, more or less all the way through.

Now, if we had 2,000 listens a month that were 95% impact, that would make the pond bigger. And no, I’m not asking you to listen to each episode twice because that would actually defeat the purpose. But what you could do is to help spread the word. You could review the podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. You could share it with others. You could boost episodes that you like on social media or forums or wherever you get your nerd flag out.

And then finally, I’m going to throw this last one out to you because maybe you’ve got a great idea.

I consider Fusion Patrol to have the premiere back catalog of episodes on shows like this, right? Name me any other podcast that has all of Blake 7, Space 1999, Sapphire and Steel, Man from Atlantis, Battlestar Galactica, Doomwatch, Crime Traveller, The Night Stalker, The Fantastic Journey, Firefly, The Omega Factor, The Prisoner, Star Cops, Moonbase 3, so many other shows that we have done in their entirety. And they are all out there.

That’s a hell of a back catalog we’ve got out there. And it should be relatively evergreen because is there really that much of a difference between a review of a 50 year old show reviewed today or 10 years ago?

But the fact is, virtually no one listens to the old shows. That’s obviously largely due to the way podcasts syndicate and the way search engines searchicate and the fact that the podcast aggregators like Apple Podcasts will only list the last 300 episodes at absolute most.

So my question to you is this, can you think of anything that I can do to make them seen And more importantly, seen by the right people in the right context. Because when we’re looking at specific old shows, it’s no longer really about Fusion Patrol, the eclectic podcast on old sci-fi. But it’s something more like Fusion Patrol presents Space 1999 or some such. And I’d like to find a way to make those more seen, more listened to, because there’s somebody out there right now that’s probably thinking, hey, I should do a podcast on Doomwatch. It’s like been there, done that guy. But anyway, it’s a thought. And if you’ve got anything, let us know.

Anyway, thank you, everyone. Patrons, non-patrons, just listeners, thank you for making it this far listening to the podcast, for making it all the way through this plea for help. You will probably be hearing increased number of mentions of Patreon in the upcoming episodes through the rest of 2025 at least, but hopefully they won’t be too intrusive. But if you can help, it’s greatly appreciated.

Thanks again.

Kenneth and Eugene look at episodes 3 and 4 of Children of the Dog Star.

Who’d have thunk it? Buck Rogers in the 25th Century decides to tackle issues of ageism, the mental anguish of disabilities, and questions of identity as related to the concept of “fixing” a disability. Or at least, it would have been if the production staff had given this episode much thought.

John and Eugene, on the other hand, give this episode way too much thought as they look at the Return of the Fighting 69th.

This week Ben and Eugene look at the 1960 movie, Village of the Damned, inspired by the 1957 John Wyndham novel, the Midwich Cuckoos.

This week, Simon and Eugene discuss ultrasonic weapons and whether they are as effective at punching holes in concrete as they are at cleaning dental guards, Ross’s suddenly discovered sensitivity to sexism and Alex being patronized for her age, and Eugene introduces his groundbreaking conception of the three eras of Britain.

This week, Kenneth and Eugene begin their look at a new series here on Fusion Patrol — the 1984 New Zealand production, Children of the Dog Star.

This time, the first two installments, The Brass Daisy and Power Stop.

John and Eugene discuss the time Buck Rogers pits himself again the lamest group of assassins the galaxy can muster, and they ponder the riddle, “Why are they even a threat?”

It’s the two-part episode, The Plot to Kill a City.

It’s hard to keep a good Phibes down. Would it be as hard to keep a bad Phibes down?

Ben and Eugene discuss the 1972 The Abominable Dr. Phibes sequel, Dr. Phibes Rises Again.

This week, Simon and Eugene look at Bugs, Series 4, Episode 3, Girl Power.

When they discuss child geniuses being given the idiot ball, how convincingly Ed and Beckett are at getting duped, and when the Intel Pentium 7 chip came out.

Kenneth and Eugene finally arrive at the final episode of Space Rangers with, the Trial.

This week, John and Eugene look at the Buck Rogers in the 25th century episode, Vegas in Space, where we ask the questions, do you see mirrors or a piano keyboard, and can Buck be a bigger SOB to Wilma than he was in the movie, we also reflect on Gil Gerard’s moment of acting.

This week, on World Beyond movie Night, Ben and Eugene dip their toes into comedy/horror Diesel Punk with The Abominable Dr. Phibes.

This week, Simon and Eugene look at Season 4, Episode 2 of Bugs, Sacrifice to Science.

They discuss the naming of government security departments, the difference between boathouses and houseboats, and whether you could be excused for not trusting scientists if you only ever meet the mad ones.

A washed-up comedian, Buddy Hackett, arrives for a show, and there’s a disaster…

No, that description might just be a little too meta.

A washed-up comedian, Lenny Hacker, is en route for a show, and there’s a disaster. The Space Rangers team has to rescue him from a notorious prison planet.

Kenneth and Eugene discuss The Entertainer.

Investigating a mystery on the planet of the slave girls. Tough job, and only one man in the 25th century is up to it: Capt. Buck Rogers!

John and Eugene discuss Planet of the Slave Girls.

Between seasons 1 and 2 of Space: 1999, Gerry Anderson took another stab at space opera, this time with an eye towards teachiing children about Einstein’s Theory of Special Relativity.

How well did that plan go?

Find out as Ben and Eugene discuss The Day After Tomorrow. (AKA, Into Infinity)

Simon and Eugene pick up where they left off on their coverage of bugs, this time with the opening episode of series 4, Absent Friends.

Where they rant… er… discuss recasting, retcons, recasting, cliffhangers, and recasting.

This week, Kenneth and Eugene watch as Capt. Boon makes mistake after mistake after mistake as they muddle their way through the Space Rangers episode, Death Before Dishonor.

At long last, John and Eugene begin the much-requested coverage of the epitome of 1970s space opera: Buck Rogers in the 25th Century!

This week they look at the theatrical release and they spare some thoughts for the television re-edit.

This week, Simon and Eugene finally come to the end of the 2025 season of Doctor Who and the end of the Gatwa era, when they look at the final two episodes, Wish World and The Reality War.

They discuss Ncuti Gatwa’s performance as the Doctor, compare the Deadly Assassin with the Reality War, whether it would have been more or less tasteless to joke about Ernest Borgnine’s death if he was still alive, if it makes Dimensions in Time canon, and oh, so many more things than this story actually deserves.

“Barbarella, pychodella, there’s a kind of cockleshell about you…”

It began as a scandalous comic book, then Dino De Laurentiis thought, “hey, they oughta make a movie about that.”

…and now, Ben and Eugene have to watch it and discuss it.

It’s the 1968 movie, Barbarella starring Jane Fonda.

This week on Fusion Patrol, Simon and Eugene look at the 2025 season of Doctor Who, episode number six, the Interstellar Song Contest.

They discuss parallels between the ice in the Doctor’s heart and the Time Lord Victorious, the influence of Diamonds Are Forever on this episode, why Eugene’s local sports team is the New Zealand national cricket team, and you can listen to us googling 1970s Eurovision winners.

[Go Black Caps!]

The Doctor lands in Lagos, and Simon and Eugene land on their thoughts about the Story & the Engine.

The consider which continents on Earth the Doctor tends to visit, barbershops in television culture, and give their Fusion Patrol literary recommendations.

Is it Simon and Eugene’s lucky day as they discuss Lucky Day?

They argue over the capability of this incarnation of UN.I.T., they discuss the history of the Think Tank organization and whether Kate Stewart sends the Doctor monthly reports.

Simon and Eugene discuss whether the Well is needed to be a sequel and which episode it should have been a sequel to, whether twice is too many times to play Britney Spears’ Toxic in two decades, and whether dialogue on TV used to be easier to hear.

Doctor Who 2025 barrels on with episode 2, Lux, as Simon and Eugene discuss whether animations have depth, the missing merchandise from this episode, whether they’re seeing a new season template emerging, and how the new TARDIS wardrobe works.

Simon and Eugene kick off the 2025 season of Doctor who looking at the episode, The Robot Revolution, where they discuss meta-paradoxes, RTD using Moffatisms, and how you count hyphenated words when you are missing every ninth word.

Simon and Eugene discuss different forms of mind transference, they rate Steven’s departure against other companions, and they discuss what aspects of animation take us out of a animated reconstructed story.

Come join the conversation as they look at the newly-released animated Doctor Who story, the Savages.

Kenneth and Eugene discuss “…so many pieces…” of this episode of Space Rangers.

John and Eugene come to the end of Star Maidens with the final two episodes.

In Creatures of the Mind, where they discuss the implications of what happens if AI learned to move without the aid of wheels or legs.

In The Enemy, they ask the question, “was the whole point of this series leading to the revelation that the women of Medusa just needed to ‘man up’?”

They also wrap up their discussion of the series with far more analysis than this series probably warranted.

Join them and say, “farewell,” to Star Maidens.

Cheap Star Wars ripoff, or a more brilliant parody than Space Balls?

This week, Ben and Eugene look at the Roger Corman film, Starcrash!

This week, Simon and Eugene look at the final episode of the first series of Real Humans, episode 10, The Code.

They discuss the source of HuBot morality, how HuBot’s having an old USB-A port is at least better than a Lightning port, why HuBots don’t have laser eyes, and what the Swedish Actors Union might have to say about using digital clones to enable recasting.

Eugene and Kenneth look at the next episode of Space Rangers, in which Boon and the gang go on an expedition to capture their most deadly enemy, a race of aliens they know virtually nothing about and they discover along the way that they have deadly sonic powers.

Oh, so that’s why they’re called “banshees!”

It’s the episode Banshees.

John and Eugene explore two more episodes of Star Maidens.

First, the President of the planet Medusa dies and it is “The End of Time,” followed by Shem getting a girlfriend, who may just be cray cray in “Hideout.”

This week, it’s movie night, and Ben and Eugene take a serious look at a movie about a giant flying turtle. It’s 1995’s Gamera: Guardian of the Universe!

In this episode, Simon and Eugene look at Season 1, Episode 9 of Real Humans, Heritage. They discuss the Engman family melodrama, Hubot fire safety, and they reveal if they’d choose to be copied and put into a machine after they’re dead.

This Week, Kenneth and Eugene start a full-series look at Space Rangers with episode one, Fort Hope.

John and Eugene look at two more episodes of Star Maidens.

In The Perfect Couple, they find out what happens when bored surburan housewives get a load of the boys from Medusa, and in What Have the Done to the Rain? they ponder how stupid Rudy can be while at the same time being really smart.

This week, Ben and Eugene look at the 1972 British-American pilot movie Baffled!, a supernatural thriller starring Leonard Nimoy.

This week, Simon and Eugene tackle Episode 8 of Real Humans: Make Haste. They discuss Hubots in Love, Hubot Humor, and Hubot Voltage Standards.

Our coverage of Space: Above and Beyond concludes as Kenneth and Eugene discuss the final two-part season finale (and, as history records, also the series finale) episodes, “And If They Lay Us Down to Rest…” and “…Tell Ours Moms We Done Our Best.”

They discuss this week’s court-martial-able offenses, things that might have been if this series hadn’t been such an awkward mashup of space opera and Word War II melodrama, and not once, to their credit, do they complain about the horrible grammar in the episode title.

Join them as they bid farewell to Space: Above and Beyond.

This week, John and Eugene look at two more episodes of Star Maidens, The Trial, and Test for Love.

They marvel at everyone’s utter in these episodes.

This week, Simon and Eugene look at the 2024 Doctor Who Christmas special, Joy to the World, where they discuss whether Christmas episodes can break all the show’s usual rules, whether the TARDIS jukebox will be replaced by a chair, and how Doctor Who should treat the politics of the COVID lockdown rules.

Simon and Eugene look at the Real Humans episode, Blind Love. They discuss legal statutes in alternative universe Sweden, constructive dismissal by Hubot, and whether the video site glimpsed in this episode is an alternate Swedish version of YouTube because they didn’t dare to google whether Bigtubes is a real site.

This week, Kenneth and Eugene look at Season 1, Episode 21 of Space Above and Beyond, entitled Sugar Dirt. They look at bad historical analogies, check in on this week’s contestant on Wheel of Court Martial and ask the question, “What has the 58th been eating for three months?”

Want to know what a proton storm is, or how big it is? You won’t find out by watching the Star Maidens episode The Proton Storm, but you might by listening to John and Eugene discuss the episode.

For the double the fun, they then turn their eye towards the episode Kidnap.

John (suspicious name) and Eugene discuss that most 80’s of 1980’s cult films: The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension.

This week, Simon and Eugene look at Season one, Episode six of Real Humans: Sly Leo. They discuss the current draw of parallel universe USB-A, the paradox of tolerance applied to free will for Hubots, translating smutty Hubot magazines, and downloading sex drives.

…and, of course, sex with robots.

This week, Kenneth and Eugene look at the Space: Above and Beyond episode “Stardust” in which they consider the deeply offensive use of Native Americans in television and this episode in particular, consider, once again, the absolutely illogical incompetence of the Earth Forces’ military strategies, and talk about the episode’s pretentious yet somehow still inadequate history lessons.

This week John and Eugene look at two episode of the Star Maidens.

They discuss the episodes Nemesis and the Nightmare Cannon, and contemplate if the Medusans are supposed to be so smart, how come they cannot read a room? And they marvel at lightning done on a really small budget.

On this week’s episode, Simon and Eugene examine season one, episode five of Real Humans, Power at Heart.

They discuss coincidences in the number of Hubot sex clubs in this Swedish city, computers programming computers, robots watching soap operas, and actually, finally, seeing some sex with robots.

This week, Kenneth and Eugene look at Episode 19 of Space Above and Beyond, R&R, where they ask, “Will people know Clint Eastwood in the year 2064?” “Do they save sex-ed class for the end of invitro school?” and “What power does W.C. Fields have over Colonel McQueen?”

Also, this week, exclusively for our patrons on Patreon, there will be two bonus minutes of totally unrelated conversation!

This week, John and Eugene begin looking at a new series: Star Maidens, a 1976 TV series co-produced by the United Kingdom and West Germany.

It’s a contemporary (for 1976) look at female equality through the lens of a planet run by women.

This week, Simon and Eugene look at season one, episode four of Real Humans: Semi-human rights.

They discuss non-human rights within the Swedish legal system, whether the uncanny valley is legally mandated, and whether HuBots are capable of actually lying or just crafty deception.

Oh, and maybe they also mention sex with robots.

John and Eugene look at the third “Shin” reimaging movie of classic Japanese science fiction/fantasy properties. This week, it’s 2023’s Shin Kamen Rider.

How well does a movie about human-grasshopper cyborg translate to the big screen?

This week, Fusion Patrol examines the 18th episode of Space Above and Beyond, entitled “Pearly,” where Kenneth and Eugene finally find out why Wang wasn’t court-martialed at the end of Episode 9, why the space jarheads are too stupid to realize that the Chigs talk, and when discretion is the better part of valor when discussing guest actors’ other roles.

This week, Fusion Patrol looks at the two-part Quark episode “All the Emperor’s Quasi-Norms.” John and Eugene ask if American television in the 1970s was ready for full-frontal pollination, why Jean didn’t get equal time with Gene, and if Ficus is the most alien character ever committed to the small screen.

This week, Simon and Eugene examine season 1, episode 3 of Real Humans, “The Lord Shall Be Our Companion.”

When they discuss Swedish search warrants, whether and who Bea is bluffing, double bluffing or triple bluffing, the parallels between the politics of immigration and being anti-Hubot, and, yes, of course, sex with robots.

This episode, we’re celebrating our 700th episode of Fusion Patrol with the film The Day the Earth Stood Still, 1951 edition.

Simon and Eugene discuss whether the film is an appeal to authoritarianism or pacifism, whether the spaceship was guarded by UNIT soldiers, and, of course, Eugene talks about sex with robots.

This week, John and Eugene look at the 1972 film Silent Running.

They discuss the naming order of Huey, Dewey, and Louie, does Eugene find the film as boring now as he did as a child in the 1970s, and how much of a monster is Freeman Lowell for murdering a robot?

This week on Fusion Patrol, Kenneth and Eugene look at the Space: Above and Beyond episode, “Dear Earth,” where they discuss who gets first naming rights for babies in a family, just how good the Marines are at killing sons and daughters, what is the Emily Post-approved length of a “Dear Jane” letter, and whether or not Wang is actually a ground pounder.

This week John and Eugene look at episodes 5 and 8 of Quark.

In episode number 5, “Goodbye, Columbus,” they discuss heirloom peaches, and in episode 8, “Vanessa 38/24/36,” they compare a sentient ultimate computer to Bridget Bardot’s hourglass figure.

On this episode of Fusion Patrol, Simon and Eugene will examine Season 1, Episode 2 of Real Humans, “Trust No One.”

They discuss having a criminal investigation division for a particular kind of technology and what their sniffer dogs are smelling, robo-nature versus robo-nurture, and they question our hetero-robosexual outlook as we discuss even more sex with robots.

This week, Kenneth and Eugene examine the Space Above and Beyond episode “Toy Soldiers.”

They ask the questions: Which is more honorable: going into the military during peacetime or in wartime? Did the writers of this episode actually ever read the Red Badge of Courage or just quote mine from it? And is it ever justified for soldiers to shoot their commanding officers in the back of the head?

This week, John and Eugene examine two more vintage 1978 space opera parody TV series Quark episodes.

First, it’s “The Old and the Beautiful,” where Quark contracts a fatal aging disease.

Will an extended romantic interlude with a young, beautiful, and voracious princess be the death of him?

And then, in “The Good, the Bad, and the Ficus,” Quark’s ship plummets through a black hole, releasing evil doppelgangers.

Will Quark be able to reason with his evil self, and why is that gauge in Ficus’ ear?

This week on Fusion Patrol, we begin our look at a new series, the 2012 Swedish sci-fi series Real Humans.

Simon and Eugene discuss whether androids make efficient robots; remakes, adaptations, and cultural differences; and, of course, sex with robots.

This week, John and Eugene kick off our coverage of the 1977 TV series Quark, which aired on NBC and starred Richard Benjamin as space garbage collector Adam Quark.

First, we look at the pilot episode, which introduces us to the eccentric group of characters under Quark’s command. Then, we watch May the Source Be With You, a send-up of a little film you might have heard of called Star Wars.

This week, Simon and Eugene discuss the two-part Doctor Who series finale, #TheLegendOfRubySunday & #EmpireOfDeath.

They discuss why the One Who Waits waited, wanting more Mel, the difference between an anagram and a homophone, and a new UNIT dating controversy.

Simon and Eugene look at the very recently released 3D animated re-creation of the missing 1966 Doctor Who story, #TheCelestialToymaker.

They discuss the new art style for 3D motion-captured animated Doctor Who, the consequences of budgetary constraints in both the original and animated productions of this story, and they finally agree on whether the animation should try to recreate the original or exploit the freedom that animation brings.

This week, Simon, Ben, and Eugene discuss the Doctor’s sexuality and changes in the representation of sexuality on Doctor Who, Gatwa singing the same pitch as Gene Wilder, and Checkov’s psychic earrings as we look at the #DoctorWho episode #Rogue.

This week, Simon and Eugene look at #DotAndBubble, the 5th episode of the 2024 Doctor Who series.

They discuss having sympathy for a homicidal AI, the influence of #BlackMirror on Doctor Who, and they talk about judgment with hindsight as they have a “fierce” argument over whether this episode is better than Kerblam!

Note This episode was originally intended to be released on May 27; however, quotas at my podcast host prevented it from releasing until June 1. This is re-release.

This week, Simon and Eugene look at the 2024 season Doctor Who episode #73Yards and discuss whether a reset makes an episode worthless, whether Doctor Who is really an anthology series, and they identify the influences of Nigel Kneale, Years and Years, 2001, An American Werewolf in London, and The Wild, Wild West.

This week, Simon and Eugene are looking at the 3rd episode of the 2024 series of Doctor Who with the episode Boom.

They discuss different approaches towards the writing of different writers, faith, and the logic of the landmine with the flashy lights.

This week’s second bonus episode looks at the Doctor Who episode, the Devil’s Chord.

Simon and Eugene discuss a missed opportunity for a respectful pastiche of the Beatles, whether bi-generation will be reversed, and whether Ruby is an abominable snowman.

DevilsChord

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Bonus episode discussion this week is the first episode of the 2024 Doctor Who series, Space Babies, by Russell T. Davies.

Simon and Eugene discuss whether the best way to introduce the show to a new audience is a massive info dump, what Ron DeSantis would have thought of the episode, and whether it was written by ChatRTD.

DoctorWho #SpaceBabies

This week’s episode under review: Bugs S03E10 – Renegades.

Simon and Eugene discuss whether this episode was always intended to be the finale of season 3, whether it’s another sequel to the Cybernauts, and Eugene gives us his interpretation of Australian Eric Idle.

This week’s episode under discussion: the 13th episode of Space Above and Beyond, Level of Necessity.

In this episode, Damphousse gets psychic powers, and Kenneth and Eugene ask, “what good are psychic powers when you’re in the military?”

Level of Necessity originally aired on January 14th, 1996.

This week, John and Eugene take a look at the last two episodes of Neo Ultra Q: Episode 11, Argos Democracy, which first aired March 23, 2013, and Episode 12, Hominis Dignitati, which originally aired March 30, 2013.

In Argos Democracy, they discuss the sad third wheel that is Sohei, ponder pro-kaiju terrorists, and ask, “Is democracy just a trolley problem?”

In Hominis Dignitati, the final episode of Neo Ultra Q, they discuss what they’ve learned about Jin.

This week’s episode under review is Bugs S03E09, Identity Crisis, which first aired September 20, 1997.

Simon and Eugene discuss how a good episode can be diminished by the arc that sets it up, the emptiness of the Bugs universe, and they get nostalgic about Zip and Bernoulli Boxes.

This week’s episode under review: Space Above and Beyond, Who Monitors the Bird, which first aired January 7, 1996 and was written by Glen Morgan and James Wong.

Kenneth and Eugene try to make sense of Tank’s Big Adventure… once they get past his haircut.

John and Eugene take a trip back in time to post-war Japan: A time when the country was at it’s absolute lowest and then, as Steve Jobs used to say, “there is… just one more thing:”

Godzilla.

Next week we take a look at the Academy Award-winning sleeper International hit movie, 2023’s Godzilla Minus One.

This week features our look at two more episodes of Neo Ultra Q.

First, John and Eugene look at The Tokyo Protol and ponder the very pointed commentary about the hubris of mankind in the face of climate change and ask, “Did they manage to stick the landing on this story?”

Then, they look at Falmagan and Michiru and make comment on the shallowness of youth, and what happens when Neo Ultra Q tries telling a story with an actual ending.

This week’s episode under review is Bugs, Buried Treasure, which first aired September 13, 1997, and was written by Terry Borst and Frank De Palma.

Simon and Eugene discuss the similarities of the visuals in late ’90s SciFi, the aesthetics of prison signage, and whether enough explosions, helicopters and sexy villainesses make up for Bugs’ credibility deficit.

This week’s episode under review is the eleventh episode of Space Above and Beyond, The River of Stars.

The River of Stars was written by Marilyn Osborn, was directed by Tucker Gates and first aired on December 17th, 1995.

Kenneth and Eugene act as pedants on both sides of the religious content, ponder whether West has faith or just an self-destructive obsession, and did God compensate for Wang’s incompetence with a spilled can of soda.

John and Eugene take a lot at two more episodes of Neo Ultra Q.

This week, they look at The Iron Shell – a story of natural disasters and scientific hubris that first aired on February 23, 2013, and then they look at Memories are Crossing the Planet – the story of alien reincarnation that reminds people used to think parkour was cool. Memories are Crossing the Planet first aired on March 3, 2013.

This week, Simon and Eugene look at the Bugs episode Happy Ever After. John Stroud directed this Series Three episode, which first aired on August 30, 1997.

They discuss marrying for love and marrying for control, the implications of a water grid and why this wasn’t explored in a show ostensibly about technology, and whether passion for cricket is the best reason not to go live in the United States.

Kenneth and Eugene look at episode 10 of Space Above and Beyond, Stay With the Dead this week. The episode aired on December 3, 1995, and was written by Matt Kiene & Joe Reinkemeyer.

They ask the burning question: who will West play dominos with now?

This week Kenneth and Eugene begin looking at a new series, Jarheads in Space! Sometimes called Space Above and Beyond, the failed 1995 Fox space war series from two of the creatives behind the X-Files. First up is the pilot episode, known as Pilot. It’s the episode where a rag-tag group of new recruits learns ... Read more

For four years, our coverage has endured the wilderness of space. And now we near the end of one of our journey. The Galactica has, at last, found Earth. This week we begin our look at Battlestar Galactica Season 2, aka Galactica 1980, John and Eugene discuss the three-part pilot movie, Galactica Discover Earth. Episode ... Read more

Simon and Eugene discuss whether time is a sentient trickster, the ramifications for gambling laws when time travel is possible, and we reminisce about the era of fax machines when mobile phones were as common as jacuzzis. Episode Synopsis Jeff Slade, still in the doghouse with Holly Turner, has brought flowers to apologize. Danny, the ... Read more

John and Eugene look at the TV movie starring Andy Griffith that inspired countless school children to shoot for the moon: It’s 1979’s Salvage (sometimes referred to as Salvage-1), where the owner of a junkyard builds and launches a rocket ship. Its destination: The Moon.

Synopsis

Harry Broderick is a highly-successful scrap and salvage man with a dream. He wants to build his own rocket, pilot it to the moon, and salvage the Apollo hardware left behind by the manned US moon landings.

He’s been secretly planning this for some time, staffing his salvage yard with ex-NASA engineers with advanced degrees who could not find jobs after NASA layoffs at the end of the Apollo program, and He’s been aggressively pursuing salvage deals and building up his stockpile of cash.

When he broaches the subject with his staff, at first, they think he’s kidding, but soon the ex-NASA staff come around to his way of thinking. They get him in touch with Skip Carmichael, a used car salesman and former backup NASA astronaut, author of the Trans-Linear Vector Principle, and wild card maverick kind of guy with daredevil ideas about space travel. Exactly the kind of guy that NASA keeps on the bench.

Skip explains his Trans-Linear Vector Principle to Harry. Trimming safety margins down from 100% to 85-90%, and using extremely powerful rocket fuel, they can make a single-stage Earth-to-Moon rocket that uses slow and steady constant acceleration to make the trip to the moon in 2 days, without orbiting and without problems with re-entry.

It sounds like a great idea to Harry, but there is one catch: The fuel doesn’t exist, but they can get around that by employing another Ex-NASA engineer now working as a pyrotechnician in Hollywood, Mel Slozar. Mel can create the fuel, and after a mishap on the set, she’s in need of a new job.

What Skip has not mentioned is that Mel and Skip used to be an item back at NASA.

Construction of the rocket begins, as does the development of the fuel. Using a highly explosive substance, mono-hydrazine, Mel can create a fuel many times more efficient than rocket fuel; however, there are some problems she’ll need to work out. It’s extremely unstable at room temperature, and it gives off highly-toxic fumes.

At the local FBI field office, Agent Jack Klinger is alerted to an unusual number of explosives purchases by Mel Slozar, and he goes to Jettison Salvage yard to ask her some questions. She’s a fully licensed explosive handler, and she has the plausible explanation that the explosives were purchased for making movies, not being a terrorist, so Klinger leaves, but not before he gets suspicious about the thing being built behind a tent.

Back at headquarters, Klinger sets up 24-hour surveillance on the salvage yard.

The team also suspects that Klinger is suspicious, and they accelerate their launch plans.

It becomes clear that they cannot launch the spacecraft without a flight computer, which they do not have, so they “steal” computer access, via modem, from Fleming Aeronautics in San Diego.

With a flight computer ready, they test the engines at full power, still behind the tent. The rocket performs well until it doesn’t. The fuel begins to overheat and must be shut down. The test, however, is enough that the top of the rocket has peeped out over the tent, and the FBI have the proof they need to get a search warrant.

Given advance warning about the warrant, they must launch tomorrow, something that will be impossible unless Mel takes Harry’s place on the flight. She is the only one who can handle the fuel if it begins to heat again.

The next morning, they start the launch as the FBI raid. The computer link fails, and Harry calls to abort the mission, but Skip and Mel decide to proceed manually. The launch isn’t going well, but they get into the air, and the flight computer comes back online.

Broadcasting their peaceful, commercial, and downright plucky mission info to the entire world, the crew of the Vulture, as the rocket has been dubbed, captures the imagination of the world. Although the FBI put them under house arrest, they cannot stop them.

Confidentially, the FBI informs Klinger that congressmen and generals are praying for the mission to fail, but if it succeeds, there’s nothing they can do except grin and bear it and buy the salvage back from Harry.

When the rocket arrives at the moon, an inconveniently timed system maintenance at Fleming Aeronautic – still unaware that their computer is being used for the mission – causes the connection to be lost and the flight computer software to be deleted. Skip must land manually, which he does, but the rough landing damages one of the venturi – they will not be able to take off without the flight computer. Nonetheless, they proceed to fill the hold with salvage.

Harry has no choice and goes to Klinger, asking for access to NASA’s flight computers. He bargains with a lowball price on the salvage but has a backup hardball game with an offer from the Russians to buy the salvage and provide the flight computer. Klinger agrees.

With NASA on the job, they’re soon able to take off, but a coolant leak soon causes the temperature of the mono-hydrazine fuel to rise dangerously. Mel diverts their oxygen supply as a backup coolant, but they have very little left to breathe and soon pass out.

On Earth, Klinger has learned that the ship is full of mono-hydrazine and heading straight for Los Angeles. He calls in Air Defense to destroy the rocket if they cannot get in touch with the crew. Using an uplink, Harry’s team blows open a vent cover when the ship reaches the atmosphere. This wakes them but starts filling the cabin with toxic fumes. The vent cover is resealed.

Awake now, Skip manages to break open the window of the airlock, letting fresh air in. Relieved, Klinger calls off the air attack with only seconds left.

Slightly off course and below the horizon from NASA’s telemetry, Skip must once again land the ship manually, this time in a busy downtown park. With the world watching the Vulture and her crew triumphantly come home.

Later that night, they are sad that it is over and contemplate going on with their lives apart from one another when a man from the government arrives with a proposal right up their alley.

This week it’s the moment we’ve all been looking forward to – the culmination of all the story-arc goodness when all the loose ends are tied up neatly with a bow in the two-part series finale of Starhunter Redux in Hyperspace parts I & II.

Kenneth and Eugene discuss.

Hyperspace I Episode Synopsis

Marcus contemplates his recent almost-success at achieving hyperspace using negative energy in an anti-matter drive. He finds an obscure scientific paper describing just that possible scenario published by Dr. Lanzig, a bit of an obscure crank.

He wakes Travis from a sexy-time dream with Callie. Well, technically, he wakes the entire crew from their sleep – although probably not all from sexy-time dreams about Callie – to impart this currently unactionable bit of information.

Travis returns to sleep but this time dreams himself into hyperspace where he meets a woman who declares that he is the “The One” and that, now that he’s found her, he needs to go find her. She doesn’t know where and provides no help. Travis returns to the ship.

Marcus’ further reading of Lanzig’s paper indicates that if you could calculate the pulse gap, you could achieve hyperspace, and to calculate the pulse gap, you need a Horizon Generator. Thinking that they have a brand new pair of roller skates and Lanzig has the key, they decide to track him down.

Meanwhile, the New Orchard is up to their old tricks. Starchild Tristian Catchpole and his confederates inside the Orchard have plans for the human race, and they need more people who have activated the Second Divinity Cluster Gene. He detects a disturbance in the Force when Montana meets the woman in hyperspace. It’s not Montana, it’s the woman that’s activated the second gene, and they need to secure her. They decide to let Montana track her down for them.

Lanzig has gone off the grid, erasing all evidence of his existence, but not so his assistant, Dr. Xeylon. They track her down, and she is the woman from hyperspace. She recognizes Travis as “The One,” and they are attacked by Orchard’s Goon Squad. Xeylon is taken, Travis is knocked unconscious, and Callie has a minor wound in her shoulder.

Back on the Trans-Utopian, they track the clandestine Orchard ship back to Mars. Also, Callie dies. Apparently, the round she was hit with was poisoned, because…. reasons. As she dies, she says the word “again,” and Travis phases into hyperspace, revisiting the moment she was shot.

Thinking that if they could get into hyperspace, they might be able to go back and rescue Callie, they embark on a mission to retrieve Dr. Xeylon. While they lost Dr. Xeylon, they did manage to secure her Horizon Generator. Oh, by the way, Lanzig was a fictional character created as a front for Dr. Xeylon.

A dangerous but short mission to Mars, and they recover her. As the Orchard’s ship is about to capture the Trans-Utopian, they plug the Horizon Generator in, and the ship moves to hyperspace.

Hyperspace II Episode Synopsis

Percy, Marcus, and Rudolfo are each stuck on 3 different color-shifted alternate versions of the Trans-Utopian, which is still in Hyperspace. Caravaggio is missing, but the ship’s computer informs each of them they are both alone and not alone on board the ship. Each detects the presence of another.

Tristian Catchpole is there, too, trying to get the Horizon Generator, which he cannot until the three crew members manage to re-integrate the color-shifted versions of the Trans-Utopian into one ship. Even if they do that, it’s still going to fall apart.

Meanwhile, Travis and Dr. Xeylon are in a Hyperspace cloud. She must train him to control – not check – his emotions by trying to… do something with his emotions. This is the only way he can activate the second Divinity Cluster gene and the only way he can go back in time and rescue Callie.

A desperate gamble aboard the Trans-Utopians and a last-ditch effort by Travis results in the timeline being altered and Callie surviving, and the Trans-Utopian re-integrated.

Catchpole steals the Horizon Generator and, with it, stages a coup at the Orchard. He’s bringing those ancient aliens home to roost in the wasp’s egg’s food source which is humanity.

Travis and Xeylon return to the ship, tech the tech, and attempt to leave hyperspace, although things aren’t looking good when the episode ends.

Also, some idiot tacked on some really awful footage of Old Percy and Dante Montana doing really dumb stuff.

The end and good riddance.

John and Eugene look at the final episode of Logan’s Run entitled Stargate. When aliens from another world invade Earth, Logan and Jessica are put on ice, figuratively, and Rem is just spare parts, literally.

Episode Synopsis

Driving through the countryside, Rem and his pets come across a seemingly-injured man who appears to be freezing, despite the weather being temperate enough for Jessica to get away with shat she’s wearing. They take him back to his city, where his comrades invite the travelers back to enjoy their hospitality. They’re all dressed in thermal-looking clothes.

Inside, Logan and Jessica are drugged and interrogated. Rem is discovered to be a highly-sophisticated android and taken away for parts. Rem, being programmed not to resist humans, goes along more-or-less willingly.

Logan and Jessica are left inside a very hot room without water, and Logan realizes that these people aren’t from Earth.

Rem also comes to the conclusion that they’re not human beings, but apparently, that’s not enough to overcome his pre-programmed directive about resisting human beings, and they take him to be disassembled. Parts is parts, and Rem’s part work just fine in the alien technology. Rem surmises that the device is a beacon designed to call the aliens’ homeward.

Logan and Jessica are rescued by Timon, the last human survivor of the city, who lives in the basement. The aliens arrived a few years back when their spaceship crash-landed nearby. They are strange, horrible creatures, but they soon began to adopt human form – by stealing the forms of the humans who lived in the city. Everyone else was killed.

Timon explains that the aliens are probably already creating duplicates of Logan and Jessica. They go to find and destroy them.

Rem’s parts have been used, but they’re not enough to make the alien doohickey go, so they need more parts to make it go. They take more of Rem’s parts because parts is parts. (The technobabble runs strong in this episode.)

Logan and Jessica destroy their forming alien bodies, then track down Rem. He’s in bits, but in the meantime, he’s been building an anti-alien-doohickey thingamajig. Their conversation is interrupted because the alien return for more parts from Rem. Parts is parts, and Rem has parts.

With a gun that Timon was saving to kill himself, Logan takes command of the doohickey room, but, as always, he fails to take the weapons from the fallen aliens and give them to Jessica and Timon. More aliens come, and they are taken prisoner and left in a swamp to die.

I’ve lost track, but I’m pretty sure they needed more parts, so Rem is further disassembled. We learn that the doohickey is not just a transmitter, it’s also a matter transporter, and if they get it going, an invasion army will arrive.

In the swamp, which is full of horrible mutants that kill everything, Logan leads Jessica and Timon out of the swamp, which gives them the upper hand because the aliens most certainly think they are dead, but they are not.

In a final assault, Jessica and Timon pump the doohickey room full of liquid oxygen, freezing the aliens to the point of hibernation. Rem and Logan use Rem’s anti-alien-doohickey thingamajig to destroy the doohickey.

With the aliens incapacitated and stranded from their homeward forever, Timon plans to lock up the creatures that killed everyone in this city, including his son and daughter. Logan, however, has another suggestion. “Why don’t you offer them the chance to live in peace with you?” Yeah. That’s going to happen.

Rem’s got his parts back, and it’s off they go on their way for more adventures!

Simon and Eugene discuss whether the Uk government has a time machine, we talk about referencing the TARDIS and the Doctor Who theme, and we discuss the technical implications of “…if they’d had mobile phones in this show to time travel with.”

Episode Synopsis

A dangerous gang known as the Apostles is meticulously planning a bank heist, unbeknownst to them, Slade and Turner are watching them from above. They return to the present in time for Grissom, Slade, and the team to thwart the crime like clockwork – mostly.

Back in the office, Grissom ponders Slade’s incredible police record lately. So much so that she details Morris to spy on Slade to find out how he’s doing it.

Meanwhile, it looks like Slade won’t be doing it anytime soon. Another piece of the time machine has broken, and Turner puts her foot down. This machine wasn’t built for doing something productive like maintaining law and order, this machine was built for secret, dusty academic pursuits so that she could someday prove that her father was right about time travel being possible.

Slade agrees to solve the next crime using good old-fashioned detective work.

That next crime comes very soon when retired minister Sir Iain Hawkins is murdered in his home. The case has all those weird hallmarks of a time Tavel intervention, too, like extra blood spots, strange calls to emergency services about a madman on the premises, and a mysterious, unidentified person running away.

Even though retired, Hawkins was a Big Deal, and Grissom wants this solved posthaste. Slade, under the watchful, if incompetent, eye of Morris, follows his leads. First, he questions Kirby, Hawkins former driver, who has recently gone into business with Hawkins selling telephone boxes as art. They reportedly had a fight the morning of the murder. Kirby denies being the killer.

While visiting Kirby’s Phone Box emporium, he spies a battered old Police Box amongst the collection, and he gets an idea. He goes to Turner and tries to get her to let him use The Machine, but she steadfastly refuses, and when he tries to schmooze her with dinner, she turns him down because she’s attending a lecture this evening. Slade also catches Morris acting suspiciously, perhaps listening in, outside Turner’s door.

Slade uses Turner’s lecture appointment to break into her flat and use the machine himself. He cannot possibly expect that to end well, can he? Outside, Morris is distracted from observing Turner’s flat.

Back in time, before the murder, Slade visits Hawkins, pretending to be the window cleaner who had mysteriously turned up 30 minutes early to the job that day. Listening in, he overhears what Kirby and Hawkins argued about – it was just basically incompetence in business matters, and Kirby leaves, with Hawkins very much alive.

Slade finally gets the chance to try something he’s really wanting to do. He confronts Hawkins and tells him the truth: that he has traveled back in time via a Turner Time Machine to warn him that he is about to be killed. Hawkins knows about Turner’s work with Einstein-Rosen Bridges from his days at the Ministry, and he seems to take Slade seriously until he clubs him unconscious and calls emergency services to report a madman, just as someone else shoots him dead.

Slade awakens, gets the license number of a window cleaning truck leaving the premises, and as the police arrive, he hightails it on foot, chased by the police. Unbeknownst to him, he loses the critical watch component of the time machine as he leaps over the wall.

Slade heads to the station to run the license plate, where he bumps into Turner moments after she turned him down. He uses the opportunity to warn her that Morris is spying on them. He gets the name and address of Robert Mather owner of the truck and goes to investigate him. As he’s leaving the station, Morris is witness to multiple instances of Slade being in the building at once.

Nicky comes to Turner with a strange item he found in the grounds at the scene of the crime, and wants her opinion on what it might be. It is the watch component of the time machine, and Turner knows exactly what that means. She has to find Slade now before his time runs out.

Slade meets Robert Mather, who basically confesses to killing Hawkins, his illegitimate father, for failing to save his mother’s life. Slade tries to talk him into turning himself in, but when Slade finally notices the watch component of the time machine is missing, he gets too urgently insistent and Mather shoots him in the leg and ties him up.

Turner and Nicky use good, old-fashion, TV-detective-style police work to chase and force Kirby to reveal that he was blackmailing Hawkins with knowledge of the affair Hawkins had, and his illegitimate adult son, who also happened to be the window cleaner. Turner dumps Nicky and goes to find Mather.

Mather is planning a huge gas explosion to kill Slade, but Turner rescues him, returning the the time machine with moments to spare – Turner distracting Morris so that Slade can enter undetected.

Alls well that ends well, right? But Turner doesn’t think so and is furious, kicking Slade out and swearing he will never use the time machine again. Honestly, Slade, what did you think was going to happen when Turner found out?

Back at the station, Morris gives his report to Grissom. He has concluded that Slade and Turner are hooked up with a secret cabal of informers called The Machine, which is out of town, so that when Slade goes to get information from them, he uses a stand-in double at the station to conceal his absence.

John and Eugene look at George Pal’s 1951 end-of-the-world film When Worlds Collide and ask, “They really wouldn’t blow up the Earth, would they?”

Synopsis

Dr. Bronson, an astronomer at the Mount Kenna, South Africa Observatory, has made an unsettling discovery. He calls in reliable freelance pilot and courier, Dave Randall, to delivery photographic observations and calculations to his colleague, Dr. Hendron, in the USA. It’s all very top secret, and newspapers are trying very hard to get Randall to reveal what is in the courier case he carries halfway around the world.

Randall doesn’t know what’s in the case, but when he arrives in New York, Dr. Hendron’s attractive daughter, Joyce, lets a bit slip. She’s frightened about the world coming to an end. At her father’s office, Randall meets Dr. Tony Drake, Joyce’s fiancé, and Dr. Hendron. When Joyce tells her father that Randall knows all about the contents of the case, he lets Randall stay for the briefing. Dr. Bronson has discovered a star, Bellus, and Zyra, a planet orbiting it, that is approaching the Earth at a rapid speed. In July of the next year, some eight months away, Zyra will pass close enough to the Earth to cause massive earthquakes and tsunamis. Countless people will die, but a few may survive.

But only for 19 more days because that’s when Bellus will collide with the Earth, destroying it completely.

Dr, Bronson’s figures are checked and double-checked. There is no mistake. The Earth is doomed.

Hendron takes the findings to the UN and proposes building spaceships. The hope is that Zyra might support life, and if so, a few humans could start a new world. When other prominent astronomers poo-poo Bronson and Hendron’s findings, the UN laughs them out of the building. The US government doesn’t laugh him out the door, but they also won’t fund his work.

A couple of humanitarian millionaires step up to fund Hendron’s plan to save some of humanity.

Tony has asked Joyce to marry him right away, but she is hesitant. She’s developed a thing for Randall and never was really on board with the idea of marrying Tony anyway. She asks her father for advice, and, when it becomes clear she loves Randall, he father contrives a way for Randall to be on the project to build the spacecraft – the keep him close at hand.

Millionaire Stanton arrives. He’s an unpleasant man in a wheelchair. He’ll fund the project, but the condition is that he gets to pick who goes to the new world. Hendron will accept his money for a ticket for Stanton, but he will not allow Stanton to pick the other people who go. It’s a take-it-or-leave-it offer, and there’s no other game in town, so Stanton takes it. There is word that other countries are also trying to build spacecraft.

A camp is built, staffed, and construction begins on the rocket. Provisions, animals, microfilm of books, and any number of other things are prepared for the rocket. There are over 600 people working on the project, but only 40 will be able to go.

Less than four months out from the destruction of the Earth, the other astronomers come around to Hendron’s observations, and Stanton now predicts that the world will soon turn ugly as people will try to fight and kill their way onto the rocket. Hendron disagrees and refuses to issue the rifles Stanton has bought. The next day, the UN announces the end of the world, although it seems they may only be preparing for the flyby of Zyra.

Martial law is declared, and coastal cities are evacuated when Zyra arrives, causing massive damage and flooding and nearly destroying the ship.

In the aftermath, Randall and Tony, who aren’t getting along very well because of the simmering tension between them, go out to aid some survivors in need of medical equipment. They drop some supplies off for some doomed survivors stranded on a small islet, then rescue a small boy floating on the roof of a house. It looks for a moment that Tony thinks about leaving Randall behind to die, but he doesn’t. After that, they’re the best of pals.

Hendron has devised a secret lottery system to select the passengers, minus the six people he’s selected – Himself, Joyce, Tony, the rescued boy, Dr. Frye, the designer and pilot of the rocket, and Randall.

Randall is outraged. He doesn’t deserve a place on the ship, but Hendron says he’s doing it because he loves Joyce, and she wants it, and why not? Randall refuses to go but tells Hendron not to tell Joyce.

Time is running out, and they are behind schedule. Then, Tony drops a bombshell on Randall: Dr. Frye has a medical condition, he may not survive the launch, and if he doesn’t, or is incapacitated, there is no one else, apart from Randall, who can fly the rocket. Randall is overjoyed. At last, he has a legitimate reason to be on the rocket.

The results of the lottery are announced, and two young lovers hoping for a place in the new world find out that only one of them can go. Eddie, the one who got selected, gives up his place.

This is just what Stanton wanted to hear. He’s been lobbying to leave a few more people behind to decrease the weight and increase his chances of survival. Stanton’s wheelchair-pusher, Ferris, uses this opportunity to pull a gun and demand that he go on the rocket. Stanton kills him with a concealed pistol. Hendron makes up his mind and decides that the two lovers can both go on the ship.

Hendron continues to insist that people will not panic and that Stanton is wrong about his assessment of people – but Stanton is not wrong. The 560 people who weren’t selected take Stanton’s rifles and storm the ship. Hendron and Stanton are the last to board, but Hendron has one last trick up his sleeve. They’re not going. The new world is for the young, and he disengages the rocket’s moorings and starts the launch. Hendron and Stanton will be the weight savings that will help the rocket make it to Zyra.

The launch goes according to plan, and when Randall awakens from the blackout, Frye is already on the job. Randall realizes he’s been conned. There was nothing wrong with Frye. Tony lied to him so he’d make the flight.

The approach Zyra and things are OK, but they’re using too much fuel. They run out on landing approach, and Randall brings the ship in for a rough but survivable landing. Outside, a strange new world awaits them and their goats.

John and Eugene look at George Pal’s 1951 end-of-the-world film When Worlds Collide and ask, “They really wouldn’t blow up the Earth, would they?”

Synopsis

Dr. Bronson, an astronomer at the Mount Kenna, South Africa Observatory, has made an unsettling discovery. He calls in reliable freelance pilot and courier, Dave Randall, to delivery photographic observations and calculations to his colleague, Dr. Hendron, in the USA. It’s all very top secret, and newspapers are trying very hard to get Randall to reveal what is in the courier case he carries halfway around the world.

Randall doesn’t know what’s in the case, but when he arrives in New York, Dr. Hendron’s attractive daughter, Joyce, lets a bit slip. She’s frightened about the world coming to an end. At her father’s office, Randall meets Dr. Tony Drake, Joyce’s fiancé, and Dr. Hendron. When Joyce tells her father that Randall knows all about the contents of the case, he lets Randall stay for the briefing. Dr. Bronson has discovered a star, Bellus, and Zyra, a planet orbiting it, that is approaching the Earth at a rapid speed. In July of the next year, some eight months away, Zyra will pass close enough to the Earth to cause massive earthquakes and tsunamis. Countless people will die, but a few may survive.

But only for 19 more days because that’s when Bellus will collide with the Earth, destroying it completely.

Dr, Bronson’s figures are checked and double-checked. There is no mistake. The Earth is doomed.

Hendron takes the findings to the UN and proposes building spaceships. The hope is that Zyra might support life, and if so, a few humans could start a new world. When other prominent astronomers poo-poo Bronson and Hendron’s findings, the UN laughs them out of the building. The US government doesn’t laugh him out the door, but they also won’t fund his work.

A couple of humanitarian millionaires step up to fund Hendron’s plan to save some of humanity.

Tony has asked Joyce to marry him right away, but she is hesitant. She’s developed a thing for Randall and never was really on board with the idea of marrying Tony anyway. She asks her father for advice, and, when it becomes clear she loves Randall, he father contrives a way for Randall to be on the project to build the spacecraft – the keep him close at hand.

Millionaire Stanton arrives. He’s an unpleasant man in a wheelchair. He’ll fund the project, but the condition is that he gets to pick who goes to the new world. Hendron will accept his money for a ticket for Stanton, but he will not allow Stanton to pick the other people who go. It’s a take-it-or-leave-it offer, and there’s no other game in town, so Stanton takes it. There is word that other countries are also trying to build spacecraft.

A camp is built, staffed, and construction begins on the rocket. Provisions, animals, microfilm of books, and any number of other things are prepared for the rocket. There are over 600 people working on the project, but only 40 will be able to go.

Less than four months out from the destruction of the Earth, the other astronomers come around to Hendron’s observations, and Stanton now predicts that the world will soon turn ugly as people will try to fight and kill their way onto the rocket. Hendron disagrees and refuses to issue the rifles Stanton has bought. The next day, the UN announces the end of the world, although it seems they may only be preparing for the flyby of Zyra.

Martial law is declared, and coastal cities are evacuated when Zyra arrives, causing massive damage and flooding and nearly destroying the ship.

In the aftermath, Randall and Tony, who aren’t getting along very well because of the simmering tension between them, go out to aid some survivors in need of medical equipment. They drop some supplies off for some doomed survivors stranded on a small islet, then rescue a small boy floating on the roof of a house. It looks for a moment that Tony thinks about leaving Randall behind to die, but he doesn’t. After that, they’re the best of pals.

Hendron has devised a secret lottery system to select the passengers, minus the six people he’s selected – Himself, Joyce, Tony, the rescued boy, Dr. Frye, the designer and pilot of the rocket, and Randall.

Randall is outraged. He doesn’t deserve a place on the ship, but Hendron says he’s doing it because he loves Joyce, and she wants it, and why not? Randall refuses to go but tells Hendron not to tell Joyce.

Time is running out, and they are behind schedule. Then, Tony drops a bombshell on Randall: Dr. Frye has a medical condition, he may not survive the launch, and if he doesn’t, or is incapacitated, there is no one else, apart from Randall, who can fly the rocket. Randall is overjoyed. At last, he has a legitimate reason to be on the rocket.

The results of the lottery are announced, and two young lovers hoping for a place in the new world find out that only one of them can go. Eddie, the one who got selected, gives up his place.

This is just what Stanton wanted to hear. He’s been lobbying to leave a few more people behind to decrease the weight and increase his chances of survival. Stanton’s wheelchair-pusher, Ferris, uses this opportunity to pull a gun and demand that he go on the rocket. Stanton kills him with a concealed pistol. Hendron makes up his mind and decides that the two lovers can both go on the ship.

Hendron continues to insist that people will not panic and that Stanton is wrong about his assessment of people – but Stanton is not wrong. The 560 people who weren’t selected take Stanton’s rifles and storm the ship. Hendron and Stanton are the last to board, but Hendron has one last trick up his sleeve. They’re not going. The new world is for the young, and he disengages the rocket’s moorings and starts the launch. Hendron and Stanton will be the weight savings that will help the rocket make it to Zyra.

The launch goes according to plan, and when Randall awakens from the blackout, Frye is already on the job. Randall realizes he’s been conned. There was nothing wrong with Frye. Tony lied to him so he’d make the flight.

The approach Zyra and things are OK, but they’re using too much fuel. They run out on landing approach, and Randall brings the ship in for a rough but survivable landing. Outside, a strange new world awaits them and their goats.

Kenneth and Eugene discuss two more episodes of Starhunter Reduc. In Negative Energy, they’ll follow the convoluted quest to get the Trans-Utopian’s engines up to speed, and in License to Fill, they’ll try to figure out how you review a clip show.

Negative Energy Synopsis

The Trans-Utopian fails to catch a bounty because they are not fast enough. Also, their bounty is one of the 5 or 6 ships in the system with an anti-matter drive. The Trans-Utopian also happens to be one of the 5 or 6 ships with an anti-matter drive, but theirs doesn’t exactly work.

Marcus pitches the plan of getting some Duranium-237 to use Negative Energy as a fuel source for the anti-matter drive. If they can get the element, he’ll do the math, and if it’s certain that it will work, and only if he’s certain, they’ll give it a try.

“Why has nobody done this before?” They ask.

“I dunno” is the most coherent answer Marcus can muster.

Rudolfo has a contact of a contact that might be able to help, and they pursue that avenue, meeting up with Karina, who is an old “friend” of Rudolfo’s. She gets her in touch with Jay Becker, a dealer in questionable materials.

Rudolfo sells out Marcus, who Jay has taken a shine to, in exchange for his life and the element. Then he rescues Marcus.

Meanwhile, in a lawless solar system full of violent crime, graft, and corruption, there is one thing you must do, and that is fill out paperwork to convert your anti-matter engine into… an alternate fuel source. It’s not one you can skip, so Caravaggio fills out the paperwork.

This draws the attention of a corrupt permit inspector who tells them if the ship isn’t 100% up to standard, will be impounded and scrapped. Guess what? It’s not up to standard, and the inspector is actually a crook who uses his position to obtain anti-matter drives for his friends at the Orchard.

That fails when Travis learns that the permit request never reached the database. With a battle raging aboard the ship and and Orchard vessel in hot pursuit, shooting holes in the Trans-Utopian, Marcus plugs the Negative Energy in, and away they go. Really fast. But not as fast as Marcus expected.

All’s well that ends well.

License to Fill Synopsis

Mars loves its red tape. The good crew of the Trans-Utopian are 2 days late for renewing their bounty hunting license, and even though they’re not actually doing any work at the moment, they have people they call “clients,” and because of that, they’re practicing bounty hunting without a license, and that’s a serious crime.

At least it is in the eyes of Senator Calder, recently appointed head of the people that stamp the documents and collect the fees. He impounds the ship, and in collision with Senator Skaylon – a judge – they set the Trans-Utopian crew for a hard fall that will cost them their ship.

They can’t afford council, but help arrives in the form of Senator Rendall, an old family friend of Callie. He suspects Calder is up to something. Rendall will defend them in court. But remember, “Martian law is weird.”

The “trial” consists mostly of asking Caravaggio questions. He “testifies” to many things – including things he did not witness – but remember, Martian law is weird.

The “evidence” against the crew of the Trans-Utopian is that Travis was once a Raider.

The defense is that “he got better.”

More “evidence” is that Rudolfo is a duplicitous jerk.

The defense is that “he eventually comes through in the end”

More “evidence” is that Marcus is a bit headstrong, inexperienced, and tries to do more than he’s qualified to do.

The defense is that “he comes through in the end”

Finally, the prosecution brings forth a surprise witness, Percy Montana, who testifies… um… that she owns the ship and that she makes bad decisions.

The defense to that is, “What’s your point.”

This final piece does seem to be the most damning – which I’ve said about Percy all along.

Luckily the crew has discovered that Calder is actually buddies with the guy that shot Callie back in episode 4. The case is dismissed, and Rendall promises to go after Senator Skaylon, too.

It’s not all’s well that ends well with this episode, though, because Percy is back.

John and Eugene look at two more episodes of Logan’s Run. In Night Visitors, they contemplate the role of Satan in science fiction, and in Turnabout, they ask if the writer had an axe to grind about Saudi Arabia.

Night Visitors Synopsis

In an homage to Bulwer-Lytton, it was a dark and stormy night. The solar car is running low, and Rem and his pets may have to spend the night in the car. In the flashes of lightning, they think they see two people standing in the rain, but they disappear.

Creeped out, they continue on until they find a beautiful old house. They’re sure they see a light inside, but no one appears to be home. Until the two people from the road show up. They are Barton and Marianna.

They’re creepy but accommodating. Marianna is expecting Gavin to return this very night, but Barton thinks he will never be seen again.

But he appears, not at the persistently knocking front door, but in the living room. He, too, is Mr. Creepsville.

Gavin asks them all if they believe in what is or what might be. Logan and Rem come down solidly on the side of pragmatism. Jessica, not so much. Gavin likes her answer.

They retire for the night and creepy things happen. Rem postulates to Logan that these people are actually ghosts trapped in this haunted house.

Jessica is spirited away by Gavin. Logan is given a vision in a mirror and finds a key. They use this information to track down Jessica.

Gavin, Barton, and Marianna, plus a second woman, made a deal with the Prince of Darkness for power hundreds of years ago, but he holds the second woman – Gavin’s woman in a death-like state in a coffin, waiting for someone to willingly take her place.

Gavin plans to convince Jessica to take her place – perhaps not entirely willing, either. As the dead woman begins to arise, Logan and Rem arrive, Logan shoots the coffin, and the ghosts are all gone.

Next morning, it’s a bright and beautiful day, and they leave. Unbeknownst to them, the curtains in the upper window draw back as if someone is looking out at them.

Turnabout Synopsis

Crossing the same desert we’ve seen so many times before, Rem and his pets come across a woman lying on the ground. She was collecting herbs and was overcome by the sun. They save her, and she warns them to leave immediately

Too late, Gera and his patrol show up and arrest them. It is forbidden by law to cross the completely unmarked borders of Zidor. Although it looks as if they might get away with leaving, when they reveal they are Runners they are taken for judgment.

Francis, hot in pursuit, tries to intervene and take them, but to no avail. They are condemned to death.

Mia, the woman they rescued, contrives to recuse them, as does Francis. The escape plans happen and cross wires a bit. Rem and Mia escape, but Francis captures Logan and Jessica. They make a run for the border sans Taco Bell.

Gera pursues them and recaptures Francis. Francis is condemned to death.

Logan and Jessica return for Rem, but when Logan discovers Francis will be killed, he rescues him.

Meanwhile, a quiet revolution has happened, and they’re all free to go – with a suitable head start for Rem and his pets.

Simon and Eugene discuss massively violating the chain of evidence, the well-known Stockholm Guidelines on hostage situations, and getting to the point where a show can’t be bothered with an in-show explanation for obvious plot contrivances.

Episode Synopsis

There’s a big deal on down at the station. Det. Gareth Oldroyd has come to Chief Grissom with a potentially very high-profile arrest. Lenny Gebler, a major fence from “up north,” is coming to London to purchase a £2,000,000 haul of stolen diamonds. There’s just one problem, Slade is uncomfortable when he hears Oldroyd’s name, just as Oldroyd is similarly unsettled by Slade’s name.

Oldroyd goes to Grissom and asks for Slade to be taken off the case, you know, because of what happened with his father. Grissom refuses because the sins of the father are NOT transferrable to the son.

Oldroyd’s planned raid relies on Turner, a physicist, to validate the diamonds on the spot, which is… odd, but that’s apparently what police science officers are for.

The raid goes a bit poorly, with Oldroyd being taken hostage, but Slade drives through the wall, saves the day, and recovers the diamonds. Turner validates them, then Oldroyd tags them and puts them in an evidence bag. No, strike that, wraps ‘em up in their pretty little velvet pouch and puts ‘em in his coat pocket.

Later he hands a pretty little velvet pouch over to Grissom, who inspects them, tags them, and puts them in an evidence bag. No, strike that; she just hangs on to the unopened pouch until she puts them in the evidence lockup back at the station. No, strike that; she just puts them in her safe in her office.

That night, having a couple of drinks with Turner, Slade cracks just a little. Oldroyd was his father’s partner on the police force before his dad “retired,” but he’ll give no more information. Turner also wonders why Lenny the fence didn’t bother to bring the money if he was planning on buying the diamonds. Well, I guess that doesn’t matter; they caught him. They part ways, and Slade is attacked when he gets home and drugged. He is left on a park bench all night.

The next morning, the diamonds are gone, and for some reason that’s not entirely clear, Slade is the number one suspect, but it must be a good reason because they get a magistrate to sign off on a warrant to search Slade’s house. I mean, I assume they got a search warrant. And rightfully so, too, because they find a token amount of the diamonds hidden inside an ice cube tray.

When confronted with this “evidence,” Slade points out he couldn’t get into the safe because he doesn’t know the combination, but Grissom tries to prompt his memory by saying the combination out loud, which would only be useful at this point if he had a time machine!

Just as he’s about to be arrested, the fire alarm conveniently goes off, Slade makes a break for it, and a convenient office trolley shoots out in front of Morris and Oldroyd, giving Slade some distance. The officer in the evidence lockup is actually locked in, giving Slade an additional edge in his escape.

Someone must be really watching over him because Morris’ car is sitting in the garage, doors unlocked and the motor already running. What a lucky break, as Slade makes a clean getaway.

He heads straight for Turner’s time machine, of course, as does Turner. This is not lost on Morris, who has noticed those two spend a lot of time together. He and Oldroyd follow Turner back to her place.

In the nick of time, they go back in time, about a day. They witness the raid, follow the diamonds, and spend the night in Grissom’s office waiting to see who really steals them, but when they get bored of that, Slade opens the safe – with the combination that Grissom tells him in the future – and finds they’re already gone. They were never in the safe! WTF?! But how can that be? The chain of evidence is so solid and unbroken?

Knowing that Slade has already been knocked unconscious and left in a park, they go to his flat and remove the incriminating diamonds from his ice cube tray. No, strike that; they have a drink and talk about Slade’s father.

He’s not exactly “retired” from the police force in the traditional sense; he’s actually in prison. He was arrested for taking money from a bank robbery investigation and has intentionally estranged himself from Slade.

The next morning, early, they visit Old Man Slade in prison and learn that not only are the circumstances of his arrest almost identical, but the players are also the same, too. What an amazing coincidence. Slade realizes that Gebler must be behind it. He goes to the station and questions Gebler about the missing diamonds – before they’re actually discovered to be missing. Time travel, remember? The questioning fails to produce any results, but while there, Slade helps himself escape by activating the fire alarm and pushing the office trolley infant of Morris.

Turner does her part by getting Morris’ car ready for Slade’s escape.

Next, Turner anonymously calls Grissom and asks her to release Gebler, which she does.

Turner and Slade follow Gebler, overhear a conversation that the real exchange happens that night at 7, and then hoof it back to the time machine just in the nick of time.

While this is going on, Old Man Slade has an idea and wants to call his son. The warden won’t let him, though, so he escapes from prison, as you do when they won’t let you make a phone call.

As time is re-synchronized, Slade gives himself up, and in interrogation, he admits he did it and that he’ll turn over the diamonds at the appointed time and place of Gebler’s meeting. Oldroyd thinks this is BS and refuses, but Grissom overrules him. They go and watch, and when Gebler arrives, they send Oldroyd over to arrest him.

The meeting goes like this: Oldroyd walks… oh god, I can’t even… no, I can do this. I can do this.

Right. One more try.

Oldroyd walks towards Gebler under the watchful eyes of Grissom, Morris, Turner, and Slade. As he approaches Gebler he pulls a gun and shouts loudly at Gebler, “Freeze! Don’t move. Police! You’re under arrest!”

No, one last time, strike that. He walks quietly and slowly towards Gebler. Gebler shouts at the top of his lungs, “we did it; we got away with the diamonds; I can’t believe they’re so stupid to fall for that again, yippy-doo-dah-day! It’s the Bahamas for both of us, my faithful partner in crime, Detective Oldroyd!”

Or something very much like that, and so they go to arrest them, but Oldroyd turns out to be a partner-double-crosser and escapes in Gebler’s car, only to have Old Man Slade, still on the run from prison, run him off the road.

Everyone’s exonerated, and Turner and Slade have newly-released Old Man Slade over for dinner at Holly’s flat. A good detective at all times, Old Man Slade can’t work out how they came to visit him about the crime while he was unconscious in a park before the robbery was discovered. And, Holly Turner… you’re the daughter of Fredrick Turner? The guy who wrote a book in the prison library about Time Travel? He might have to read that book someday.

Many people say Marcus is just a spare part, and this week that’s proven, and then it’s political hijinks on the High Seas – or the outer space equivalent thereof.

Kenneth and Eugene discuss The Heir and the Spare & Just Politics.

As we wind down our coverage of Starhunter Redux this week and for subsequent episodes, we’re covering two episodes at once. Of the remaining four episodes, one is a clip show, which we’ll cover with a companion episode, and the series finale is a two-parter.

The Heir and the Spare Episode Synopsis

Marcus is talking to Percy about getting the hyperspace drive working. She doesn’t want to because… reasons. Then she screws up a repair job to get out of the conversation, then fixes it somewhat. She retreats to privacy mode in her cabin.

They’re after a fugitive named Alex Aroyan, a con man who fleeces rich women. Eva Halperin, a Martian police official, has commixed the crew of the Trans-Utopian to track him down and bring him to justice… and she’s really keen to see this happen sooner rather than later.

Callie, in a dress, brings Aroyan to the yard and subsequently to capture. Aboard the ship, Aroyan seems to recognize Marcus.

Privately, Caravaggio informs Marcus that he is an identical genetic match for Aroyan. They don’t look alike because Aroyan has had extensive plastic surgery. Aroyan doesn’t really explain, but he says Marcus is in trouble and he should let him go.

Two armed ships show up controlled by Jaten Sarat, the baddie, arrive and demand Aroyan. Aroyan says that’s even worse news for you, Marcus, and he convinces him to take him to escape on a shuttle.

Meanwhile, Percy is doing Percy things.

Travis backs his friend and keeps the baddies off their backs, at least for a while, as they escape to Sin City. There, the story is told to Marcus. He’s the “son” of the former leader of Europa. Twin sons were fashioned, one to be the heir and the other to be spare parts for the heir. Marcus is, of course, the spare parts model. When a violent man, the same one chasing them now, overthrew the government, the twins were spirited off in the hopes that one might survive.

Sarat captures them, and when they fail to agree to be his figurehead, he gets ready to kill Aroyan, clone him, and grow a new heir while cutting Marcus’ brain out and keeping his body around for reasons that don’t hold up to much scrutiny.

Travis arrives and threatens to kill them all if they don’t turn over Marcus and Aroyan, and they give them up. Travis and the gang don’t bother to turn over Aroyan to the Martian authorities because “he’s family.”

…and in the meantime, Percy has taken a shuttle and left the Trans-Utopian to do some thinking.

Should they go after here? Nah.

Just Politics Episode Synopsis

The Trans-Utopian has got troubling cargo, and Travis doesn’t like it. They’re transporting Martian Trade Minister Kolzig on a secret mission. It’s all very hush-hush and very high-paying. Upon seeing him, Rudolfo is immediately disturbed.

Gaynor Schon immediately establishes herself as a baddie by uploading a program to Caravaggio that causes him to see and identify her as the absent Percy Montana. Schon now, effectively, has full control of the ship without anyone knowing it.

Rudolfo struggles with identifying where he’s seen the Trade minister before, unaware that he’s being hampered by the tampering down to Caravaggio. At the same time, Marcus takes a shine to Jophie Henrik, the Minister’s aide. Her dad was an engineer, and she flirts her way into Marcus’ heart and engines. He keeps detecting problems with Caravaggio, but diagnostic after diagnostic shows him everything is operating normally.

Dircott, the second member of the Minister’s security squad, breaks into someone’s quarters, and Caravaggio apologetically murders him. His body is later found in his own quarters, dead of an apparent heart attack. Caravaggio, of course, can find no other cause of death.

Marcus and Jophie, who is sticking to him like suspicious glue, have discovered an anomaly in Caravaggio. When they go to the core of Caravaggio to investigate, they are zapped by Caravaggio’s defense systems, killing Jophie. Travis is unhappy about all the deaths on his ship.

They arrive at the destination, the Mannheim Asteroid Belt, where Kolzig conducts some not-at-all suspicious 30-second-long trade negotiations with Reasoner, a miner on one of the asteroids. According to Kolzig, the negotiations failed. So sad, but that’s the way it is in politics. That was a long trip for nothing.

Gaynor, however, bugged that conversation and has confirmed that Kolzig is actually conspiring against the Martian President in an effort to take over. Reasoner is his confederate, and this was just the opportunity to transfer funds to Reasoner.

Rudolfo remembers who Kolzig is…. He’s a bad guy, and he will take him to justice. When Gaynor, with the tactic approval of the Martian president, destroys the asteroid and puts the Trans-Utopian on self-destruct. Locking the others out of the computer systems.

As the clock winds down, Callie disables the shuttle that Gaynor is leaving on in the hopes she’ll stop the auto-destruct countdown. She can’t, so she kills her in a fistfight.

Marcus cannot override the damage done to Caravaggio so, finally, Travis talks Caravaggio out of destroying them.

It’s alls-well-that-ends-well as the crew contemplates blackmailing the Martian president for their fee.

John and Eugene look at the 1955 George Pal classic movie Conquest of Space and its attempt at a realistic look at space exploration. We ask the questions, “is space for mankind or the exclusive domain of God?” and “will religion screw up space, too?”

John and Eugene look at two more episodes of Logan’s. First, it’s Futurepast, a story about androids in love, and then Carousel, the episode where Logan returns to the City of Domes to die.

Futurepast Synopsis

Two of Francis’ minions are hot on the tail of Rem and his pets, but through a bit of subterfuge, Logan stuns his pursuers, and Rem disables their vehicle.

They proceed on until they find a fabulous Art Deco building and a beautiful caretaker, Ariana. Rem sparks every time he’s near her.

She leads Logan and Jessica to comfy beds, where they soon fall asleep and are connected to a dream analysis machine.

Rem demands to know why and learns that, like himself, Arianna is an android, and her job is to put people into the dream analysis lab. They cannot be awoken, or they will die. They must let the dreams continue.

Meanwhile, Francis camps impatiently for the night.

Through a series of clips from previous episodes and newly shot footage played through prisms and repeats over and over, we are privy to Logan and Jessica’s dreams, but honestly, I don’t care. They might die, blah blah blah.

Rem and Arianna are falling in love, which is, of course, impossible

Then they get into a lover’s tiff. He shoots her, she threatens to shoot him back, he sweet talks his way out of it, and together they come up with a plan to save the sleepers

Francis arrives and kills Arianna, and captures the newly-awakened Logan and Jessica. Logan tries to convince Francis that the sleep analysis machine is actually the way to Sanctuary, and he falls for it!

Rem and his pets escape once more, but not before repairing Arianna and making a tearful farewell.

Carousel Synopsis

Francis is hot on Rem and his pet’s tails when the solar vehicle stops operating. Getting out to defend themselves, Logan is shot by locals with a dart, and Rem and Jessica are teleported into a very cost-effective holding area.

They are told that the people who live in this area protect themselves by forcing erasing the memory of the last year from visitors’ minds and then sending them on their way. Logan was carrying a weapon; therefore, they erased his memory immediately. Rem and Jessica have been brought in to be told that their memory will be erased, and then they will be released. Jessica pleads that erasing their memories will result in serious harm to them. They deliberate.

Meanwhile, Logan has recovered and cannot figure out where he is. Francis comes along, and Logan is completely compliant and disbelieving that he could possibly be a Runner. He agrees to return to the City of Domes for a truth scan.

Rem and Jessica’s captures agree to release them unmolested, and they follow Logan back to the City of Domes.

Breaking back in, Jessica meets up with the Underground Runner Railroad and explains what’s happening. They agree to help because Logan, testifying at Carousel that Sanctuary doesn’t exist, would be a significant blow against their movement.

Francis is happy that his old pal is back in the Sandman game, and they can continue to kill Runners together. When they hunt their first Runner, Logan hesitates, and Francis must make the kill. Logan reminds Francis that it was his turn to take the kill. Francis buys this, but what does Logan actually think?

The Runners must know what Logan knows, so Rem suggests Jessica seduce Logan, which she tries, but ultimately cannot because Logan is her friend. Instead, she spills the beans that she is the Runner Jessica 6 and that they’ve been together outside. Did I mention that Logan is in full-on Sandman mode right now?

It wasn’t Jessica’s best idea because Logan raises his gun to kill the Runner… but he cannot quite bring himself to do it and tells our hero to get out. Heartbroken, Jessica returns to the Runners’ base and tells them the news.

Here’s where it gets tricky. Francis is happy to have his best friend back, but when the elders tell him that Logan must testify at assembly before Carousel, Francis worries that Logan will die in Carousel. “Relax,” say the elders, we just need Logan to denounce Sanctuary, and then he can return to his former life. Relieved, Francis believes them, but when he leaves the room, suddenly, it’s all, “oh, yeah, he’s going to die at Carousel.”

The Runners know that Logan must be stopped, so they hatch a plan to capture him and hold him until the memory wipe fades.

As Logan heads to Carousel, he leaves a message behind for Jessica. His memory has returned, and he plans to announce that Carousel and Renewal are lies before the Assembly – knowing that this will get him killed.

Jessica and her friends rescue Logan. Francis cries, “curses, foiled again,” and Rem and his pets escape the City of Domes once more.

Simon and Eugene discuss whether and when the show needs to break its own temporal formula, what the advantage might be of having supper in Holly’s time machine, and the effect of temporal physics on the doctrine of act and omission.

Episode Synopsis

Holly Turner is giving a speech at the Institute of Time where she is discussing The Chronology Protection Hypothesis first put forward by Stephen Hawking. Holly maintains that the hypothesis is correct: You can’t rewrite history. Not one line!

Her speech is well-received, but of course, it’s all nonsense because time travel isn’t possible, despite the amazing work her father did in the past.

And then she sees the news. Jeff Slade has been shot by a man named Crowley and is in critical condition awaiting emergency surgery. She finds out when he was shot and uses the time machine to go back and, presumably, prevent Slade from being shot. It’s her day off to be at the Institute of Time, so it doesn’t raise too many eyebrows when she arrives looking for Slade.

Slade has been assigned to a high-profile murder of a famous artist. The only two immediate suspects are the artist’s ex-wife, currently embroiled in an acrimonious legal battle for money, and his art dealer, Levenson.

Holly shows up and wants to tag along, but when she refuses to let Slade use the time machine, he grows suspicious, but he allows her to accompany him anyway.

They visit the ex-wife, and she claims not to have killed him, pointing a finger at Levenson. Holly questions her about Crowley, a name unassociated with this case and unknown to Slade, his suspicions are aroused even further.

Slade spots the time watch on Holly’s wrist and calls the Institute of Time, learning that she’s still there. He confronts her, and eventually, she tells him he’ll be shot at 6:00 PM today by Crowley.

They visit Levenson, who claims to have no further stake in the artist, and he, too, has never heard of Crowley. Outside the store, Holly spots Crowley from the mug shot shown on TV. Slade gives chase, but he escapes.

Now, Slade is going after Crowley. First, he breaks into his apartment but finds nothing connecting him to the murdered artist. Crowley returns, so Slade arrests him. He can have him held for 24 hours without charging him, that will keep Slade safe, and time will be changed.

Morris and the Chief Inspector have had a break in the case. They found threatening letters from the ex-wife, and a search of her place finds blood-stained clothing and a painting stolen from the crime scene. They arrest her, but when they find Slade has arrested someone else with no apparent cause, they let him loose.

Crowley, a career criminal and not the brightest firefly in the swarm, immediately proceeds with his completely unrelated plan to rob a jeweler that just happens to be next door to Levenson’s art dealership. Slade and Holly, also nearby, hear gunshots and rush to the scene just as Crowley tries to escape into Levenson’s shop, taking him and a family hostage.

Seeing Slade outside, he demands that Slade be the officer that comes in to negotiate… as the clock ticks inexorably toward 6:00 PM. Slade cannot refuse, and he sends Holly back to the time machine.

Inside, Slade gets the jump on Crowley, killing him, only to have Levenson shoot Slade because it’s been exposed that he’s hiding the artist’s painting, which have vastly increased in value now that Levenson murdered him.

Holly synchronizes with the present and rushes to the hospital just in time to see Levenson trying to finish off Slade. Slade, however, isn’t actually hurt and jumps Levenson, subduing him.

It was all a ruse to get hard evidence on Levenson… I mean, apart from the hard evidence of actually telling Slade, a police officer, that he did the murder and had the paintings, and then shot said police officer to cover it up, thinking him dead, but he was wrong, then lying about what happened to a police investigation.

The Chronology Protection Hypothesis has been proven once again.

Travis just isn’t scratching Callie’s itch, so she’s off with another band of plucky corporate bounty hunters. Will Travis find his scratcher in time? Kenneth and Eugene discuss Rivals.

Episode Synopsis

Callie is having a bad day. Not only are the rolling blackouts and malfunctions of the Trans-utopian getting her down, but she’s got a troublesome prisoner that’s managed to steal her key – unbeknownst to her, of course.

There are no solutions to their overall problems anytime soon. They’re not making enough money to keep the ship fully powered on, nor to perform needed repairs. As Callie tries to spill her soul to an unlistening Travis, word that the prisoner has escaped has reached them. They need to take him alive to collect their bounty, and rather than logically applying a stun gun at the first opportunity, instead, Callie roundhouse kicks him into electrical equipment, nearly killing the prisoner and completely disabling the Trans-Utopian just as a giant asteroid bears down on them.

They are rescued when Capt. Christoper Judson of the ship Seattle blasts the asteroid into millions of even tinier, more dangerous pieces. But let’s ignore that.

The Seattle is a slick ship owned by the Fugitive Containment Systems Corporation, it’s a Martian military design and well-equipped and crewed. They’re the future of bounty hunting, and Capt. Judson likes the cut of Callie’s jib, and since Travis isn’t doing anything for her jib, she’s sorely tempted by what she sees. When she tries to bring up her jib with Travis, he seems oblivious that we’re talking about jibs [wink wink nudge nudge say no more!].

Travis fumes as only Travis can.

A pre-emptive bounty comes in. That’s a high-priced bounty to arrest someone before they commit a crime. There are a couple of minor complications – the target is a highly-trained, ex-military assassin. He’s committed multiple successful assassinations. He’s escaped multiple high-security prisons. Nobody knows what he looks like, and they have no clue whom he plans to kill.

The Seattle makes way, covering their tracks so the Trans-Utopian won’t follow them.

Via encrypted transmission, Capt. Judson offers Callie a job, and when she finds out Travis and Rudolfo tracked the transmission in hopes of getting intel on the Seattle’s destination, she decides enough is enough and accepts their offer of a commission.

After some setbacks, the Trans-Utopian tracked the Seattle to Clark Station, and they also go in search of the assassin. The Seattle get to the fugitive first, or so they think. Callie warns that something is wrong, but they ignore the junior recruit. They should have listened, their entire team is terminated in a trap, save for Callie, who was guarding the hallway.

She warns Travis that the target is extremely dangerous, plus, you know, she just likes the sound of his voice, and she’s mad at Capt. Judson for filling out the paperwork on his dead crew before getting into the action himself.

As things unfold, it is Capt. Judson that is the actual intended victim, and Callie and Travis save him and kill the assassin, bringing in a hefty bounty for Team Trans-Utopian, and returning Callie to the fold; however, jibs have not been resolved.

Take a journey with us as we visit the past future history of Everytown, as John and Eugene look at H.G. Wells’ Things to Come.

Synopsis

It is Christmastime in 1940 Everytown. Life at this joyous time of year goes on as it always has, with people laughing, shopping, enjoying the panto, and being with their family and friends, but there is an ever-present reminder that Europe is re-arming and that war seems on the horizon.

At the home of John Cabal, he, his wife, their three children, grandfather, and friends Harding and Passworthy, the celebrations are first ruffled by Cabal’s pessimistic musing about mankind’s inevitable march towards war. Passworthy, the optimist, assures him there will be no war, and even if there were a war, war is not the end of progress; war spurs progress and innovation.

The second interruption in the war which starts that very night with a sneak attack, bombing, and later gassing of the city. Cabal and Passworthy are called into military service. Cabal leaves his wife and children, while his wife wonders if it is fair that they brought their children into the world.

The war drags on, and, true to Passworthy’s words, weapons technology, such as tanks and planes, are spurred forward.

In a dogfight, Cabal shoots down an enemy aviator. Cabal lands to rescue the downed pilot, but his plane is full of lethal gas, and it’s leaking out. The two pilots both have gas masks, but when an unprotected child arrives, the enemy gives up his mask for the child. Cabal rescues the child and leaves the enemy a gun so that he may kill himself rather than succumb to the gas. Before he performs the final act, he sees the joke that he was trying to gas that child and her family in the first place and that maybe he’s already killed her family, and yet he sacrificed his life to save her.

The war continues, and now civilization begins to decline. In 1966, after 26 years of war, a new pestilence struck, a plague called the Wandering Sickness. It is highly contagious and 100% fatal. Victims, just before they die, get up and start wandering, sending the other survivors running away in terror.

Harding, a research doctor, tries to find a cure, but he lacks the equipment to succeed. One man, Rudolph, has a plan; he orders people to shoot the plague victims on sight. By 1970, half the population has died from the Wandering Sickness, but the disease has finally burned itself out – perhaps because of the culling, perhaps not.

Richard Gordon is what’s left of Everytown’s Air Force. They have a dozen planes that will not fly because they do not have the knowledge or equipment to repair them, nor have the fuel to fly them.

That’s not good enough for The Boss, Rudolph, now the warlord chieftain of Everytown and wager of perpetual war against their mortal enemies, the Hill People. He wants his planes, and he wants them now, and he doesn’t like Gordon telling him it’s impossible with the resources they have.

And then a plane appears in the sky. Not an old, falling apart bucket, but a new design. Aboard is an aged John Cabal. He is arrested but generally doesn’t fuss about that. He goes to see his old friend Harding and meets Gordon. He tells them that he is with a group of what’s left of the engineers. A brotherhood of efficiency, the freemasonry of science. Harding and Gordon like the sound of that.

The Boss is less thrilled with what he perceives as a threat. Cabal as much as tells him that his organization, Wings over the World, is building a new world order of builders, but they will not abide by war and warriors, and they will clean up the world.

The Boss puts him under arrest as a hostage so that his people won’t attack.

The Boss is sick of technology; he feels that it has brought the world no good, though he does still covet having a working Air Force so he can destroy the Hill People. He demands that Gordon get the planes working. Gordon makes the case that, with Cabal’s and Harding’s help, he might be able to get the planes working. The Boss allows it, but when Gordon gets a plane aloft, he flies it straight to Basra, were Cabal’s base is.

Wings Over the World launch an aerial attack on Everytown. The bombard the town with “peace bombs” which puts everyone to sleep, and then they send in the paratroopers. The only casualty: The Boss, who dies with his way of life.

Back at Basra, Cabal gives his plan for the world: Aggressive peace, excavating the eternal wealth of the Earth, and the fruits of science.

Time moves on, and great engineering feats vacuum the mineral wealth of the planet, fabricate, and build massive cities for the new world. One such city is Everytown, now the seat of world power.

The 2036 and a descendant of John Cabal, Oswald Cabal is the leader of the world. He pursues a restless, never-ending pursuit of progress for mankind.

But, like all periods of human history, there are those that oppose progress. In 2036 it is Theotocopulos, an artisan who wants progress to stop now. The current symbol of that progress is the giant space gun being built to launch two people into space. The two volunteers are Cabal’s own daughter and the son of a descendent of Passworthy. Passworthy also thinks this is madness and does not want his son to go. He is somewhat sympathetic to Tehotocopulos’ arguments.

Theotocopulos goes on worldwide radio and tries to rally the masses into a rebellion. He succeeds, and they sort towards the space gun. In a race against time, Cabal gets the two astronauts to the gun and launches them into space.

Cabal and Passworthy watch the ship fly on. Cabal explains that mankind can go on always progressing, always striving, and always exploring forever, and ever or he is just an animal that lives and dies without meaning.

This week John and Eugene look at two more episodes of Logan’s Run. First up, Fear Factor, the episode where Rem and his pets visit an upscale sanitarium thriving in a post-apocalyptic world, and we ask, “who thought that the first order of reestablishing a post-apocalyptic world was to set up an insane asylum?” Then we look at the Judas Goat, the episode featuring the Amazing Spider-Man’s Nicholas Hammond, and we ask, “just how many people know about the City of Domes’ Council of Old White Guys?”

Fear Factor Synopsis

Rem and his pets come across a 20th-century mansion “far away from everything.” As they approach, they find a terrified woman trying to escape. Her handler soon arrives and takes the gang to meet Dr. Rowan, the facility director, and his right-hand man, Dr. Paulson.

This convalescent sanitarium survived the nuclear holocaust untouched because they were “far away from everything.” They’ll all hospitable, but Jessica doesn’t really like the answers Rowan is (or isn’t) giving about the woman. She stays to talk with him as Logan and Rem are taken to their rooms.

Rem discovers they are being monitored, so he uses the in-room computer console to monitor the rest of the facility. They watch as Rowan explains to Jessica how they like to strip the brains of emotion and higher thinking functions and replace them with their own thoughts and emotions. She does not like what she hears.

Neither do Logan or Rem, and they discover they are locked in. But Paulson lets them out when they knock politely. They force past him and head to find Jessica. Unbeknownst to them, Paulson pulls a gun on them but decides not to shoot them.

They find Rowan in his office, just Jessica is not with him. At gunpoint, he leads them to Jessica, but it is a trap. Logan and Rem are tested by being subjected to strong winds and 1950s B-movie flaming meteoroids. Then they’re gassed.

When Logan awakens, he is taken to the Inner Circle, the ruling council that oversees this society. The Inner Circle appears to consist of Dr. Rowan, and he explains the situation:

They burn out the brains of the menials and make them afraid and obedient. They similarly control, to a lesser degree, the guards. This process makes them cowards, averse to any form of anxiety. They’ve got army-building technology, but none of their people can fight.

Logan is just the man to help them breed a whole new race of fearless soldiers. He refuses without even bothering to look at the harem of women he’d be servicing.

Rowan has a counteroffer: Agree, or we’ll burn out Jessica’s brain, and we’re already deprogramming Rem. At this moment, Rem, who is too sophisticated to be deprogrammed by 1970’s cheesy SciFi blinky lights computer prop, leaps into action and starts to strangle Rowan.

Paulson has had misgivings, and he assists them in getting to Jessica. She’s already hooked up, and while Logan can subdue two of the technicians, the third hides behind a Sandman Gun-proof piece of plastic and takes control of Jessica’s mind.

Rem grabs a control unit, and they fight it out through Jessica’s brain. Logan tires of this and blows up the machinery.

The guards and menials put up a very lackadaisical pursuit, and his own guards kill Rowan. Now Paulson is in charge, and he lets the gang leave. He stays to help rehabilitate his society.

The Judas Goat Synopsis

In the City of Domes, Hal 14 makes his run. Hot on his trail is Sandman Joseph 8. Hal makes it to the secret doorway, opens the door, and then pauses momentarily to allow Joseph to catch up and terminate him. The Runner’s secret exit is wide open, exposed for the Sandman to destroy!

But the Council that rules the City of Domes has a different idea. Joseph 8 is taken and, without consent, surgically modified to look like Hal 14 and given a copy of Hal’s memories. For all intents and purposes, Joseph 8 is now Hal 14, except that he is actually a Sandman dedicated to terminating Runners.

Taken before the Counsel of Old White Dudes, like Francis 7 before him, they offer him a place on the Counsel if he can bring Logan and Jessica back alive.

Hal-Not-Hal easily locates Logan and pretends to be a terrified Runner, scared of the mean old Sandman. In an effort to reassure him, Logan chases him down just like in the good old days, although he doesn’t terminate him.

Hal was known to Jessica – “you remember, I was that guy you bumped into once at Carousel spouting off about not believing.”

“Oh, yeah, I remember, Hal, right?”

Hal-Not-Hal, having escaped the City of Domes and meeting the famous Sandman-turned-Runner Logan, immediately wants to go back to the City and start a revolution with Logan as the figurehead.

Rem thinks it’s a bad idea. Logan kinda digs the idea of saving all the people in the City of Domes.

Before they can return, they are captured by a bunch of simpletons with guns and a lethal force field. Hal-Not-Hal wants Logan to kill them all so they can get on their way back to the City of Domes.

Instead, they are taken to the Provider, the man who takes care of the simpletons and uses them effectively for slave labor.

The Provider is actually Matthew 12, the very first Runner. He is also known to Jessica and was the man who encouraged her to get involved in the Underground Runner Road.

The gang hatched the ludicrous idea that Matthew could go back, too. He’s a legend. Matthew, however, isn’t as stupid as our heroes and realizes what a bad idea it is. Also, he realizes that if they get caught, they’ll be brain scanned, and he’ll be hunted down. That’s a big no-go. Also, I can’t let you leave now.

Hal-Not-Hal tries to steal guns in his endearing, single-minded way and escape, so they can return to the City of Domes and start a revolution. That doesn’t work, and Matthew locks them up when they try an escape plan.

Hal-Not-Hal has a better idea…. If Rem stays behind to fix the Provider’s computers, maybe Matthew can let the others go. For some dumb reason, Matthew goes along with this, and for even dumber reasons, Logan, Jessica, and Hal-Not-Hal think he’s going to let them go.

They leave, and Matthew tries to kill them. Rem, fearful for his friends’ lives, reverses the polarity of the neutron flow, which kills Matthew. Rem has done an AI boo-boo. He’s violated the first law.

Don’t worry, say Logan and Jessica, you did it for a good cause – saving our butts.

“Well, that’s great and all, but hadn’t we better be getting back to the City of Domes?”

Gosh, if you want to get back there so badly, why’d you ever leave? Says no one, not even Rem.

As they approach the City of Domes, Logan gets suspicious when Hal-Not-Hal leads them to the same exit they used. Logan notes that there’s no way Francis would have left that escape route open. Hal-Not-Hal jumps for Logan’s gun, but Logan gets the better of him. Hal-Not-Hal runs away, again with Logan in hot pursuit.

Two Sandmen on routine patrol…. Wait? Two Sandmen on routine patrol outside the city walls spy a fellow Sandman chasing a Runner and terminate Hal-Not-Hal. Logan stuns them both, and the gang skedaddles back into the trackless wastelands.

Simon and Eugene discuss the “Big Lie” in fiction, the Oscar-winning music of Anne Dudley, the difference between train length in the UK and the US, and how foreknowledge might affect your behavior in a time paradox.

Episode Synopsis

Fashion designer Sonia Duval is being interviewed about her upcoming show and about negative feelings about her in the fashion industry. About this time, the world’s absolute worst assassin takes a series of wildly accurate potshots at her that never seem to hit the target, despite her cool-under-fire sloth-like reactions.

The next day at cop headquarters Chief Inspector Grisham takes this seriously. Diana, Princess of Wales, has some of Sonia Duval’s fashions, plus somebody was shooting a gun. It’s all hands on deck to protect Sonia’s life at her upcoming fashion show.

The all-hands-on-deck call includes Holly Turner, Chief Science Officer, who also happens to be a girl and, therefore, can go undercover as a seamstress. Turner isn’t happy about this. Slade has the plumb assignment: He’s personally guarding the beautiful Sonia.

During preparations for the show, it becomes obvious why someone wants to kill Sonia – she’s not a nice person to anyone, including her sister, Linda, who also works for Sonia as a seamstress.

It’s not strictly true that she is awful to everyone – she’s taken quite a shine to Slade, and Turner doesn’t like it one bit. When Slade leaves with Sonia after another death threat, Turner seethes even more, but she also discovers that Linda Duval seems to have plans to get out of her sister’s shadow. Could she be planning a murder?

The next day and it seems Slade may have succumbed to Ms. Duval’s attentions and spent the night out. Slade, ever the brilliant detective, has picked up on Turner’s particularly chilly mood towards him, but before he can find out more, a new lead comes in.

Clifford James, Sonia’s partner, recently took out a £3,000,000 corporate insurance policy on Sonia, perhaps without her knowledge, naming himself as the sole beneficiary.

It’s almost time for the show, and a stupid argument causes Linda to quit. James takes her aside to the office to try to calm her down. Meanwhile, Slade is attacked in the car park, rendered unconscious, and placed in the boot of a burning car – which he manages to just escape from because it’s somehow unlocked. Now he must get back to the show before it is too late.

It’s too late. As the show ends, the sound of gunshots ring out, and Sonia falls to the floor. Morris and the other cops espy someone with a rifle in the chapel and give chase, but ultimately lose him on foot. As Turner, who has some medical training, attempts to examine Sonia, a convenient doctor appears from the crowd pushing her out of the way. Taking Sonia into the office to examine her, he soon pronounces her dead.

Linda is missing, and her clothes are all gone; plus, Turner finds her fingerprint on the rifle. It’s an open and shut case, and one that doesn’t even require the use of a time machine to solve; however, we wouldn’t have a show if they didn’t use the time machine, and so they do, traveling back in time 20 hours.

First, they investigate the venue and the chapel where the alleged shooter was seen. Luckily, the security guard on duty is incompetent and doesn’t spot them. There’s not much they can do until tomorrow, so they’ve got to find a place to sleep. Turner’s flat is not an option, since she’s there right now sleeping. They don’t have money for a hotel, but luckily Slade didn’t spend the night at home last night, so his place is available.

Turner is really digging his flat, which is well beyond his means, and his cooking skills, and she’s really getting into a nice evening with Slade until she comes to the realization that Slade isn’t home tonight because he’s sleeping elsewhere with Sonia.

And so the green-eyed monster rears its ugly head again, and they end the evening in a snit.

In the morning, the snit continues, and Turner won’t hear a word of explanation from Slade. They get on with the job. First, they surreptitiously check out Linda’s flat and discover she hasn’t packed up her clothes yet, despite having left already for the fateful show. Sonia catches them, but they talk their way out of it. Slade also tries to warn her not to go out on the catwalk during the show. It is advice she obviously ignored.

Turner watches to see who attacked Slade, and Slade watches to see who shot Sonia.

The convenient doctor in the crowd was Slade’s attempted murderer. Turner follows them, and when she realizes Slade cannot escape the burning car without help, she unlocks the car, which allows him to escape.

At the show, concealed in the chapel, Slade witnesses a man enter and leave the rifle on the floor and leave. He picks up and examines the rifle as the sound of gunshots ring out, and Sonia falls to the floor. Morris and the other cops espy Slade with a rifle in the chapel and give chase, but ultimately lose him on foot without ever properly seeing his face.

Soon thereafter, Turner witnesses the convenient doctor pick up someone from the office and drive off. Could that have been Linda? She snaps photos. When she shows them to Slade, he knows what happened.

Returning to the present with no drama whatsoever this week, Slade arranges a stakeout, and when the suspects start to move, they arrest Clifford James, the convenient doctor (whose name is Hopkins), and Sonia Duval. They staged the entire thing as insurance fraud, with poor murdered Linda standing in for her sister’s corpse.

Back at Slade’s swinging bachelor pad, he finally explains to Turner that he did not spend the night with Sonia, he spent the night at the venue, and he was the incompetent security guard that didn’t spot them that night.

Also, he’s laid on wine and clean glasses, all for Turner’s benefit.

Caravaggio is damaged, and Percy replaces him with Kate, the crew’s new holographic pal that’s fun to play with, designed by Percy. Would could possibly go wrong? Find out as Kenneth and Eugene look at the Starhunter Redux episode: Kate.

Episode Synopsis

Percy is having a conniption fit. She wanted to use some hot water during the routine water maintenance period and somehow blames Caravaggio for not anticipating her desire and postponing the maintenance period because she was doing some dirty maintenance elsewhere.

At least, I think that’s what happened.

Marcus, always the enlightened gentleman, explains to Caravaggio that his problem is that he’s male, and women expect men to read their minds. Percy, alternatively, explains that Caravaggio should be more empathetic, something he apparently cannot do because he doesn’t have breasts – or at the very least because he wasn’t designed by someone with breasts.

About this time, a space mine locks onto and blows a hole in the Trans-Utopian, damaging various bits of the ship. Engines, attitude adjustment, weapons, and, perhaps most critically, Caravaggio, who is operating well below normal utility.

Percy seizes this opportunity, rather than fix Caravaggio, a critical piece of equipment, in an emergency situation, to replace him with a new AI of her own design, Katherine.

Travis immediately decides to diminish her status by calling her Kate instead, and she’s a bit of a hottie. Some much so, it looks like Marcus isn’t going to be able to keep his mind off her and on the job.

Callie even points out that’s a flaw with Kate, ‘cause, you know, it’s ALWAYS the woman’s fault if men do something bad because the woman is sexy.

Travis, our hero, knows that sexist argument is BS and dismisses this as a case of Callie being jealous of the hottie.

Meow! Is everyone on this ship trying to up their game to be as big a sexist pig as Rudolfo this week? Apparently so.

Still heavily damaged and days away from the nearest station, they collect bits of the mine and discover the bad news. It’s a classic Martian design, and it no doubt sent data back to the mine’s owner. They can expect possibly hostile visitors soon.

And then life support goes out, and Kate can’t figure out why. The crew can’t figure it out, either. Everything seems to be in working order; it just isn’t working. Callie is the first to get suspicious that Kate might be behind this, but shockingly, Percy isn’t too far behind on that realization. She figures it out when Kate is more interested in how long Travis and Callie have been a couple than she is in repairing the life-threatening systems’ failures.

Kate pops up on the bridge to tell Travis that Callie isn’t “right” for him. Travis is more interested in saving their lives than in talking about Callie. He finds her priorities to be a bit wonky, but Kate assures him, “I’d do anything I can to save you.”

Travis goes to visit Percy to ask about this new AI, and it’s at this point, she reveals that she tried to restore Caravaggio but couldn’t because he’d been sabotaged. Percy being Percy, Travis doesn’t even bother asking, “You didn’t think we needed to know about that sooner?!”

Travis returns to the bridge as armed pirate ships are approaching. Kate is, unfortunately, unable to provide much information about the attackers because not only did Percy choose the worst possible time to be doing a major computer system upgrade, but she also didn’t have the new system finished yet. Kate cannot interface with technology that is not part of the Trans-Utopian.

As they go into battle, Kate takes control of the ship, in direct defiance of Travis’ orders, and destroys one of the attacking pirates. This blows the ship’s weapons out and the other pirate begins the process of boarding the Trans-Utopian.

Percy gets mad at Kate, and Kate shoots her – because, apparently, that’s a thing AIs can do now.

Kate confesses her love for Travis and convinces him to give them a moment alone. When the others leave the bridge, she locks him in and begins pumping the air out of the rest of the ship. The others must get breathers, fight off the pirates and get Percy to the sick bay.

Travis explains to Kate that “if you love something, you have to let it go,” and so she does, but doesn’t turn the air on for him. He fights more pirates, finds a breather, then takes the pirates’ ship. Stealing their ship’s little black oxygen box.

Confronting Kate on the bridge, Travis tries to insert the little black oxygen box into the Trans-Utopian’s little black oxygen box slot, but Kate is really upset at Travis’ rejection of her, and she shoots him a bunch.

Callie comes in, distracting Kate and giving Travis time to insert the little black oxygen box into the little black oxygen box slot. Kate can’t turn it off, either, because it’s technology from another ship, making this Chekov’s Technological Little Black Oxygen Box inserted into Chekov’s Technological Little Black Oxygen Box Slot.

Having done that, Travis calmly walks over to Kate’s off switch and deactivates her. If only anyone had thought of that earlier.

Caravaggio is back and thinks he’s had a dream of love.

No, Caravaggio, you’ve had a misogynistic nightmare.

Simon and Eugene discuss their previous encounters with this missing story, pure historicals and historical accuracy, and the editorial decisions around reconstructing a story where there is insufficient original material to convey the narrative.

Foreword

You’ll often hear that the world you create in the mind’s eye when listening to audio adventures is in every way superior to what can be created on TV or in movies. I find that argument wanting. That said, that is mostly what we have here in these reconstructions where two episodes are telesnaps. Later I found out that William Russell had a separate narrative track explaining some of the more obscure bits, but by this time, I’d already written my summary – and I’m sticking to it. Enjoy my mind’s eye.

Serial Synopsis

The TARDIS arrives near Jaffa in the 12th century. Nearby is King Richard the Lionheart and his party of men named William. They all come under attack by the Saracens under the command of Emir El Akir. Barbara is captured, and Sir William Des Preaux is captured, pretending to be the King as a diversion to allow the real king to escape.

The Doctor, Vickie, and Ian recover the wounded Sir William De Tornebu, giving him medical attention and eventually returning him and the King’s belt, which was in Sir William’s possession, back to the King in Jaffa. Before meeting the King, they must steal some clothes, which the Doctor and Vickie accomplish. These clothes, however, are no doubt already stolen from the Crusaders. Hopefully, that won’t cause any problems.

In El Akir’s camp, Sir William meets Barbara. After proper introductions, Sir William maintains his ruse, and he adds cover for Barbara by claiming she is his sister, Joanna, and they claim the treatment to which they are entitled as royalty. El Akir makes to take them to Ramlah, where Saladin, the Sultan, has his camp, to gain his favor.

Saladin isn’t deceived and knows immediately this is neither King Richard nor Princess Joanna, and El Akir looks a fool. Sir William is sent back to El Akir’s, but, as a knight, he is to be well treated in his captivity. Barbara will remain to entertain Saladin with tales of her travels.

In King Richard’s court, he is beholden to the Doctor and fam but not inclined to help Barbara. Sir William and the Doctor make the King see the humor of Sir William’s ruse.

The Doctor is a wily old bird and soon has the King thinking of a swap and perhaps something more.

The King’s sister, Joanna, meets the Doctor, Vickie, and Ian, and she is suspicious of them. Especially of Vickie, who is pretending to be Victor, a boy.

El Akir wants to do terrible things to Barbara, so he arranges for her to be kidnapped from Saladin’s encampment and taken to his place in Lydda to suffer her fate.

The King has decided to offer his sister in marriage to Saladin’s brother, Saphadin, to make a peace deal, and he sends Ian to convey the message, but first, he knights him, Sir Ian of Jaffa.

The stolen clothes have come back to haunt the Doctor as the Chamberlain recognizes them, but a 12th-century human brain is no match for a Time Lord brain, and the Doctor soon has this smoothed over to his satisfaction, if not everyone else’s.

Barbara arrives at Lydda, and then some noises happen. There are pictures of guards, apparently molesting a chicken, Barbara wandering the streets, and dramatic music, so I think she escaped.

Sir Ian arrives at Saladin’s camp and presents the King’s proposal. They aren’t going to let Sir William go, and he learns of Barbara’s kidnapping, so Saladin allows him to go after her.

Yes, Barbara did escape, and as she is about to be recaptured, Haroun Ed-Din rescues her and gives her shelter in his home.

Joanna discovers that Victor is a girl and, while upset, accepts that the Doctor only perpetrated the deception for the girl’s protection. She takes Vickie into her protection. In return, she suspects that her brother is up to something involving herself and asks the Doctor to tell her if he learns anything. He agrees.

Haroun tells Barbara his tale: His eldest daughter was taken by El Akir for his harem, and Ek Akir murdered his son and wife. For this, Haroun lives only to kill El Akir. He has not told his other daughter, Safiya, about the fate of their family, and she believes they have gone missing. Haroun goes out but is captured or maybe beaten and left in the street by the guards searching for Barbara. This ultimately leads them to search Haroun’s house, and Barbara surrenders to them to protect Safiya.

Saladin has received Richard’s peace offer and agrees to it, but still makes ready his armies, just in case it falls through or is a deception.

While sleeping in the desert, Sir Ian is taken prisoner by Ibrahim and his mostly-missing brother.

In court, the Doctor is not making friends with the Earl of Leicester, who wants war, not peace. When asked directly by Joanna what the King has planned for her, the Doctor demures, so Leicester tells her, and she is furious at both the Doctor and the King, and she flatly refuses, citing that the Pope is ultimately in charge, not the King, and he wouldn’t allow it.

The King thinks the Doctor spilled the beans to Joanna and kicks him out.

Now trapped in El Akir’s palace, Barbara is going to be treated very poorly indeed by El Akir, but she escapes again, this time into the palace.

Sir Ian is tied up and staked to the ground. His captor, Ibrahim, wants him to hand over his money, and when Sir Ian refuses, he covers parts of him in honey and leads ants to him. Ibrahim can wait until Sir Ian tells him what he wants to know.

Leicester is questioning Vickie, and the Doctor is less than complimentary to Leicester and his desire to fight. The King overhears and puts an end to the questioning. He also tells the Doctor that he knows he didn’t betray his plan but that it was expedient to pretend that he did. Leicester is a good fighter, and he’s going to need him. Having made an enemy of Leicester, the King sends the Doctor and Vickie to Acre. The Doctor readily agrees, and they leave immediately, although he’s actually planning to return to the TARDIS.

Barbara has found sanctuary in El Akir’s Harem. She meets Haroun’s eldest daughter, who tells her they all (apparently) hate El Akir and agree to hide her. All, save for one, who betrays Barbara in for a ruby ring.

In the desert, with the ants ever closer, Sir Ian cracks under pressure and agrees to turn over his gold. He convinces Ibrahim that it is in his boots, but when they are removed, Sir Ian’s foot odor overpowers Ibrahim and rots the ropes binding Sir Ian’s wrists. He subdues Ibrahim and forces him to take him to Lydda.

In Jaffa, Leicester learns of the Doctor’s departure and sends his men to follow them. Unfortunately. The TARDIS lies in the direction of Saladin’s camp, not in the direction of Acre. This gives Leicester all the proof he needs that the Doctor is a spy.

El Akir finds Barbara; this time, he’s really cross, but simultaneously two things happen. Haroun, who was just left in the streets, bursts in and… I don’t know, probably kills El Akir, and then Sir Ian shows up to non-lethally thump a few heads. They are both safe and head back to the TARDIS.

The Doctor and Vickie are aware that Leicester’s men are trying to entrap them, so the Doctor comes up with a picture-perfect plan for a telesnap reconstruction – they must make absolutely no sound whatsoever!

This doesn’t work, and the Doctor is captured and about to be killed when Sir Ian arrives and claims the right to kill the Doctor for himself. They get in the TARDIS and leave to the bewilderment of Leicester and his men.

John and Eugene tackle two more episodes of Logan’s Run. This week we contemplate the nature of good and evil and look at another of the masterpieces from the pen of legendary writer Harlan Ellison.

Half Life Synopsis

Logan and the gang encounter electronic interference in their car and then get captured by a bunch of savages with nets. It’s just another day on Logan’s Run.

The savages, called the Cast-outs, are just about to kill them if they weren’t such bad shots, but a group of people known as Positives rescue them and take them back to their city.

When asked if they were processed, our heroes try to bluff their way through by saying, “yes, of course,” but it doesn’t take the city dwellers long to discover that is a lie.

In their civilization, all people are put into a machine that splits them into good and evil copies. The evil ones are “cast out,” and the good ones are the Positives who live in the city.

But they’re not perfectly good and evil, for the good feel the need to impose their will on others and kidnap Jessica and cleft her in twain, chucking evil Jessica out with the Cast-outs.

Rem and Logan escape, find their way to the Cast-outs, and find that, while rough around the edges, they aren’t all bad either – ‘cause that’s just “being human.”

They convince them to return to the city and become rejoined, if possible. Still, the Patron of the city sets a trap, which would be fatal if it weren’t for the Patron’s wife, Rama II, who is secretly a Negative who assumed the place of the dead Positive version of herself.

The two halves of Jessica are reunited successfully – although, honestly, you can barely tell.

When Rama II commits suicide, the Patron decides to rejoin everybody, without, of course, bothering to ask if that’s what everybody wants.

Logan and the gang leave, and Jessica is happy knowing she can be unhappy.

Crypt Synopsis

Rem and his pets arrive in a ruined city, still standing two centuries after the thermonuclear war. The presence of the car causes an automated beacon to signal to them.

Investigating, they discover a pre-recorded message from the year 2120.

The message tells them of a government facility deep below their current location. A plague was killing everyone, and while their scientists searched for a cure, they selected the six best and brightest among them to be placed in cryogenic suspension, awaiting a cure.

The cure was found, and exactly enough was made for the six individuals below, but then the power went out, and they couldn’t get to them with the cure. The message from the past exhorts whoever finds this message to take the cure to the sleepers below.

With a quick zippity-zip, Rem fixes the elevator, and away they go. When they arrive at the intact facility below, they are suddenly shaken by what is apparently the first earthquake there in 200 years. The ceiling begins to collapse, Logan and Jessica are injured, and one of the two vials of cure is destroyed.

Also, simultaneously, the earthquake triggers the reawakening sequence for the sleepers, who awake just in time for Logan to find them.

The six best and brightest left behind to save mankind are a doctor, an engineer, a robotics expert, a psychic, an attractive woman, and a professional administrator.

When told that there’s a cure but only enough for half of them, they decide that Logan and Jessica must decide which of them lives and dies, and, for no apparent reason, they reluctantly agree to this. They hide the serum until they decide. (Even though the psychic should easily ascertain where they hid it.)

This brave new world is to be denied the wonders of bureaucratic administration, though, as Lyman, the Administrator, is found dead.

That makes things a bit easier for making the decision, but the five remaining contestants make it clear that they do not want Rem to be part of the decision-making process – him being a machine and all.

While Logan and Jessica try to get to know the sleepers, Rem continues investigating.

It should be no surprise that each sleeper tries to make the case that they should be among those that are cured. Most try making logical arguments, but Sylvia Reyna tries a different approach. She’s young and hot, and she’d do anything for Logan. Logan turns her down flat – he likes his women simple, like Jessica.

Later, Rem discovers the logs of the long-dead leader of the project. Just before his death, he discovered that one of the sleepers is an imposter, although he didn’t bother to reveal which one it was.

That night, Rem reveals the truth. Lyman was murdered and his death was staged to look like an accident. Also, there is an imposter among you.

Apparently, none of the six met each other before being sent into suspension, and an imposter simply took the place of one of the chosen ones.

But which one is it?

There’s a power failure, and in the darkness, the world loses out on a future of advanced robotics because Victoria Mackie, the expert in robotics, is shot.

And then there were four.

Rem proceeds to uncover the imposter.

Could it be Dr. Rachel Greenhill?

“No,” says Jessica, “she put an ace bandage on my injured knee. She’s a real doctor!”

Could it be engineer David Parra?

“No,” says David Parra, “I built this place. Just ask me, and I can tell you where any nut or bolt is.”

OK, you must not be the imposter.

Could it be psychic Dexter Kim?

“No,” says Logan, “We saw him levitate an object earlier. He’s a real psychic.”

Then it must be Sylvia Reyna! And it is!

She grabs the precious vial of serum that Logan stupidly left on the table and threatens to destroy it if she doesn’t get to live. Logan overpowers her and takes back the serum. He hands it to the others.

“Clean up your own mess!” and they leave.

Later, we see Sylvia – or whatever her real name is – being placed back into suspended animation.

Simon and Eugene discuss the similarities between Holly Turner and Romana I, whether you could plug a time machine into a 30 amp ring main, and what the conviction rate is like in the world of Crime Traveller.

Episode Synopsis

Holly and Slade are at the bank. Holly is looking for a loan to pay for her expensive electronics addiction and Slade is tagging along because… well, who wouldn’t want to follow Holly around?

Holly has no luck getting a loan, but she does get a lecture from the bank drone on her spending habits.

Slade has better luck, thwarting an attempted bank robbery.

Holly has made a decision, she doesn’t make enough money as a cop to support her habit and she’s decided to quit. Slade tries to convince her not to quit and gives her some alternative ideas, such as having a rich relative die and leave her a ton of cash.

…and faster than you can say, “we’ve got a time machine and could easily arrange this,” Holly’s rich aunt Mary whom she has not seen in over a year has been murdered, leaving her a potential fortune.

Because she’s related to the victim, and in a truly surprising act of identifying and dealing with a conflict of interest, Holly and Slade are not put on the investigation.

This rankles Slade, and he guilts Holly into using the time machine to go back and find out who killed her Aunt Mary, or, better yet, prevent it.

They go back in time to about an hour or so before the murder, and they meet with Aunt Mary at her home, as well as her live-in boy toy, Alex. She is a beautiful, lonely, rich widow after all.

Holly is absolutely dead set against trying to stop the murder until Slade guilts her into trying.

They go to the restaurant, Slade poses as the wine waiter, and Holly poses as a health inspector. They know that Mary was poisoned with potassium cyanide in her wine glass. Between them, Holly makes sure that the wine glass hasn’t been tampered with, and Slade makes sure that the wine bottle is unadulterated.

Slade, hovering near the table overhears a potential motive. The three people Aunt Mary is having lunch with are being blackmailed by her, and they want it stopped. And stopped it is, as Mary gasps and falls dead of cyanide poisoning.

Slade and Holly hoof it back to the station – where Holly is promptly arrested on suspicion of murder.

Boy toy Alex has informed them that Holly and Slade came to visit Aunt Mary just before the murder, despite Holly saying she’d not seen her aunt in over a year. Holly has been identified as the bogus health inspector at the restaurant, and her fingerprints are on the glass where traces of poison were found. Oh, and they know she’s expected to inherit millions, and that Mary was planning to change her will very soon, possibly removing Holly.

Arrested, placed in the holding cells, personal possessions, including the time watch, confiscated, and with only a few hours to go before they are trapped in the Loop of Infinity forever, Slade goes to work to solve the murder.

Slade confronts each of the suspects, and they confirm they were being blackmailed, but each points the finger of suspicion to the next.

The dentist points out that the author of murder fiction novels was the one that suggested the lunch meeting. The author points out that she has no access to potassium cyanide, but the owner of the chemical manufacturing company does. The chemical mogul points out that there’s one more person with a motive – Alex.

With the suspects having done all of Slade’s detective work for him, he questions Alex and decides it must have been him.

Meanwhile, Holly escapes, desperately trying to get back to the time machine before it is too late. One wonders if she’d bother to wait for Slade at this point; however, the question need not be answered as the two of them, in speeding cars, collide head-on with one another.

Back to the apartment they go, just beating out Chief Inspector Grisham who is trapped in an elevator when the time machine blew out the power during an earlier part of the episode.

Synchronized back in their own time, Slade reveals that Alex is the murderer. He poisoned Mary’s medication, and then post-murder placed cyanide in the wine glass to cast suspicion on her lunch companions.

It looks like Alex is out of the will and Holly gets it all… unfortunately, it’s all debt. Aunt Mary was blackmailing the others because she’d gone broke on a bad investment. At least Holly got a cash bonus for false arrest and a raise. Also, she’s still got Slade.

The Divinity Cluster rears its ugly head once more, and like night follows day, so does The Orchard. This time their subject is the human guinea pig, Travis Montana. Kenneth and Eugene discuss The Prisoner.

Episode Synopsis

Travis is being a grumpy puss, and the events that make him a grumpy puss haven’t even happened yet. The Trans-Utopian has arrived at Clarke Station to pick up Jane Doe, an amnesiac psychiatric patient, for transport to Ganymede. Callie is not happy with this, although it’s unclear why. Cattle is cattle in the meat-moving business.

In the hallway, Travis is bumped into by Tristian Catchpole, an arrogant, smug-looking guy dressed to play the Star Child on Galactica 1980. Catchpole senses a disturbance in the Force.

Travis and Callie get a bonus passenger in the form of Dr. Alora Kir, who must accompany the harmless patient. The harmless patient almost immediately suffers some form of flashback and witnesses Travis shoot someone in a life-or-death fight back when he was a Raider. She grabs his gun and tries to kill him.

Callie should be happy, at least they’re transporting a dangerous criminal now.

At the Orchard – correction, the New and Improved Orchard, now with 50% fewer people with a conscience – they’re pushing ahead with the Divinity Cluster because… “hyperspace.” Tristian is the first person to activate 3 of the 4 Divinity Cluster Genes successfully naturally. His job, find the others who are naturally activating and convert them to the Dark Side of the Force. The New Orchard’s goal is… “hyperspace.” It’s always good to have a laser-focused Vision Statement.

On the Trans-Utopian, everyone agrees that Travis is being a grumpy puss, and everyone tries to talk with him about it – even Percy. Travis doesn’t want to talk about it. Whatever it is.

But he’s fascinated with the prisoner because, somehow, she seems to know him, but he knows not from where. Again she tries to kill him, but this time, she puts a little Divinity in his Cluster when she tries to strangle him.

The psychiatrist says maybe you should try to talk to her but when he does, they jaunt off on a Divinity Cluster trip down memory lane, where they witness/relive Travis’ fight with David, who was Jane’s husband, but now she’s known as Maria because she’s got her memory back.

Alora who witnessed the whole thing calls to tell her boss about the breakthrough in the patient and mention the mind-bending-dimensional hijinks she just witnessed. Pity her boss in the New and Improved Orchard.

Travis demands from Percy to know what she knows about the Divinity Cluster. She tells him. She tells him that he’s the unintended lab rat of his mother’s Divinity Cluster experiments on herself, and that’s about all she knows.

The New and Improved Orchard arrives and try to take the ship. Tristian comes aboard, whisks Travis off to a planet 400 light years away, and tries to seduce him to the Dark Side. He refuses, and, well, that’s pretty much it. The New and Improved Orchard ship leaves, and they deliver Maria, formerly Jane Doe, to Ganymede, but not before she and Travis have a little heart-to-heart, which maybe makes Travis jump out of grumpy puss mode.

Back at the New and Improved Orchard, Tristian explains about Travis: “The Force is strong in this one. He will make a powerful ally.”

This week John and Eugene look at two more episodes of Logan’s Run. In the Innocent: Take one awkward, socially-isolated teenage girl, place her in close proximity to a TV series’ hunky lead, and watch the television inevitable happen. Oh, did I mention she has superpowers? Then, in Man out of Time: A time-traveling researcher from before the holocaust arrives searching for the cause of the war. Sometimes the truth isn’t pretty.

The Innocent Synopsis

Despite a vehicle with superior off-road capabilities and an almost limitless 9.6 million square miles in which to run, Francis and his Idiot Squad have got Logan, Jessica, and Rem cornered and almost captured.

Detecting a nearby energy source, Rem leads the Runners into an energy minefield. With REM’s help, Logan clears a path through the mines, approaching the entrance to a bunker surrounded by an energy barrier.

Once more, it’s Rem to the rescue as he gets them through the barrier and into the bunker. The energy mines reform, and the barrier is reestablished, trapping Francis and the Idiot Squad outside.

Inside the bunker, they meet a robot named Friend. Rem and Friend give each other a lot of robotic sass talk, as robots do. Then a young woman, Lisa, intervenes. She is the sole living occupant of the bunker, and Logan and Jessica are the first living people she’s seen in years.

There is one other robot occupant of the bunker, that is Nanny, a robotic cleaner/minder with obvious robotic breasts, with plenty of buttons for pushing.

Rem, attempting to study the power system, cannot understand where the power for the security system is coming from. Friend sees nothing anomalous – things are as they’ve always been. This discrepancy bothers Rem and Logan.

Outside, Francis calls in another of the Idiot Squad’s cars, this one with the new L7 Laser weapon. It will take them 8 hours to get there. Francis waits.

When you take one isolated, awkward teenage girl and introduce her to the star of the show, the television inevitable happens: She falls in love with Logan and wants him to stay with her. Logan makes it clear that he cannot, and this makes Lisa sad.

So sad, in fact, that the barrier around the bunker drops. Jeremy, a man, trying desperately to distinguish himself as the Lead Idiot in the Idiot Squad, approaches the bunker and is sent to the cornfield.

Lisa’s attentions toward Logan become increasingly obvious, as does the fact that Lisa has amazing psychic powers. When Francis’ L7 Laser weapon arrives, Lisa blasts it out of existence with her mind.

Eventually, Lisa sends Jessica and Rem to the cornfield, reasoning that Logan would want to stay with her if they were gone. It turns out not so much, so feelings scorned, Lisa lashes out with her mind, imprisoning Logan. She invites Francis in to turn over Logan.

Before the final handoff, she allows Logan to speak, and he makes her see the ugly truth, so she sends the rest of the Sandmen to the cornfield and brings back Jessica and Rem.

She will hold the Sandmen in the cornfield for a while, then release them, giving Logan and the gang a head start. She vows one day to leave the bunker and start her own life.

Man Out of Time Synopsis

A strange energy reading leads Logan and the gang to a pre-nuclear holocaust ruin, where a probe appears carrying a rabbit. The probe returns to its origin: December 13, 2118, where scientists operating the Sanctuary project eagerly study the data gathered. With proof that intelligent life exists two centuries in the future, project leader David Eakins travels forward in time, hoping to learn what started the nuclear war and hoping to prevent it.

He has 22 hours to accomplish this task, which I’m assuming is the length of a day in the 22nd century.

He meets Logan, Jessica, and Rem and, knowing that his success will cause them to cease to exist, does not tell them the truth about his origins. They take him in their car when they learn he is looking for Sanctuary and even knows where it should be.

They find an idyllic but primitive village in a pleasant valley. The villagers are welcoming, but they are well below even the average intelligence of the people of this time. They have names that imply they know something about the computers that should exist at the Sanctuary Project, but they know nothing about such things. Indeed, they cannot even read. They worship “the Truth,” which they think is a deity.

Eakins saves the life of a young boy stung by a scorpion. When he does, he realizes that their temple is the Sanctuary project computer room, now turned into a primitive temple. He becomes despondent. All that work collecting all that data was a waste.

When he tries to expose the computers, the villagers treat him as if he has defiled their temple, and they make to kick him out.

Jessica pleads with Logan to help him, even though she doesn’t know what he wants to do. They demand the truth, and he tells them.

He hopes to collect data from the computer that will reveal the cause of the war, return to his own time and prevent that from happening. He knows that saving the 7 billion lives from his world means the end of Logan and Jessica’s world.

Logan is not so keen on this idea, but Rem explains that if they prevent him from returning, they themselves may be changing the past as it happened. Rem is skeptical that the past can be changed, and Logan, realizing that he also might be changing the past if he prevents Eakins’ return, reluctantly goes along.

Rem collects that data, which includes evidence that Eakins did return from the future and the die is cast. They must get him back.

Before he leaves, he instructs the villagers how to tap the information from the computers. Perhaps they can learn and build a better world with the fruits of his work. It’s a consolation prize if he fails to change his future.

He returns with 5 minutes to spare, and nothing changes. He failed.

Moments later, a recorded message from Eakins arrives. He started the war. When word was announced of his successful time travel, the world’s governments quickly realized the military implications, and the evil empires of the east launched a preemptive nuclear strike.

Eakins knows he could have returned to live out his life helping the villagers, but he chose to die with his world.

Just in time for Christmas, it’s a new series here on Fusion Patrol! (And this is one we’ve been looking forward to for a very long time – for at least seven years!)

We’re beginning our journey through Anthony Horowitz’s 1997 time-traveling* detective series, Crime Traveller.

Simon and Eugene get our first look at our heroes and the premise of this oft-forgotten BBC series and we discuss how all crime drama is essentially time travel, actors trying to break out of soaps, and if time can make value judgments in the intersection between the laws of economics and the law of physics.

It’s episode one of Crime Traveller, entitled Jeff Slade and the Loop of Infinity.

Episode Synopsis

Detective Jeff Slade and his detectives are on a stakeout, surveilling a train station. Their job is to observe a slippery character they suspect of committing multiple murders but have no evidence to convict.

To the horror of his boss, Chief Inspector Grisham, Slade thinks the suspect has spotted them, and he gives chase, first in the station and then by motorcycle on the streets of a great metropolitan British city. In the end, the suspect’s car plummets several stories into the river and almost certain death. Slade is going to be cashiered over this one. If only they knew why the suspect was at the station.

Police Science Officer Holly Turner does not want to see Slade gone, so secretly, she heads home, where part of her flat is a time machine. She travels back in time, goes to the train station, and observes the suspect at the train lockers. With that information, she returns to the present, gives the info to Slade, and they discover that the locker contained the very evidence needed to convict – if he’s even still alive. Slade can keep his job.

He’s curious how Holly got the information, and eventually, she tells him. She only works for the police to make money to help perfect her father’s time machine. He doesn’t believe it.

Slade is called away to the scene of an alleged suicide. Industrialist Guy Lombard has been found dead of a gunshot wound in a locked room at his home. He was about to make a ton of money at a meeting this very evening; it didn’t seem likely that he’d commit suicide at this time.

Some suspicious caterers were trying to escape the scene and have been detained for later questioning by Slade, but they’ve escaped.

Slade returns to see Holly and apologizes for his skepticism; he convinces her to demonstrate the time machine.

She explains how it works to him:

They will go back a random number of hours
They will live through those hours again
They must return to the time machine at exactly the moment they departed
- If they fail to do so, they will be trapped in the loop of Infinity and relive those hours forever.
They must not meet themselves
They cannot change anything

The machine sends them back 10 hours, and Slade immediately starts acting like a bull in a china shop. He confiscates a catering van and clothes, and they head to the Lombard house, posing as the caterers. While Holly tries to pull off the catering, Slade snoops around and learns that Lombard is a complete ass to everyone, and they all might have motives to kill him. Eventually, he witnesses part of the crime and, in the process, gets shot. He doesn’t know who the killer is, but he does know Lombard wasn’t alone in the room and that the suicide was staged.

Now, as the police are arriving, they must return to the time machine, but their actions trying to flee the scene are suspicious, and they are held by the local police for questioning when Detective Slade arrives. They manage to escape with the police hot on their tails.

Once in town, they split up, planning to rendezvous at Holy’s flat. Slade takes a moment to bet on a horse, planning to collect when he returns.

They make it in the nick of time, and Slade’s gunshot wound is miraculously healed. Holly explains that everything resets when they return to the present.

Armed now with what he knows, Slade returns to the scene of the crimes and reveals that the murderer is Lombard’s business partner. It’s a fair cop, and Chief Inspector Grisham is impressed with Slade’s detectiving.

Slade takes Holly out to a very expensive dinner to thank her and also to try to convince her to let him use the time machine more. Nope, that’s never happening, she says.

Slade gets one more surprise. His betting ticket is blank. Holly explains: Time won’t let you cheat.

*There seems to be a distinct dislike of American spell-checkers to the British spelling of the word “traveller” as in the series title, favoring the American spelling “traveler.” I’m not going to lie; this has caused constant grief and back and forth on how things got spelled in the notes, the graphics, the write-ups – you name it. As an internal style guide, I have adopted the practice of spelling the series name as credited on screen, but I will use the American spelling elsewhere unless something gets mixed up. Again.

WARNING: Subjectively, I feel like this may be the harshest episode of Fusion Patrol ever. It may not be suitable for listeners of a nervous disposition.

Dimension hopping? Time displacement? Body/Soul swapping? We don’t know what’s going on here, and we daresay no one else does, either. Kenneth and Eugene ponder A Stitch in TIme.

Episode Synopsis

Travis has a weird topsy-survey dream. He’s alone on the Trans-Utopian, he keeps hearing someone call his name, and he finds Percy dead in the command chair. Instead of rejoicing, he screams, “nooooooooo,” and awakes with a fright.

Dreams never make sense.

In the real world, the Trans-Utopian has arrived on Mars to collect a dangerous ex-military prisoner for transport to Clarke Station. Soon, Percy has spotted something strange on the screen. Flashing, where no flashing should be.

Travis hears a distress signal that no one else does, and they head towards the uninteresting and uninhabited asteroid Ida to investigate, until they reach the point that the ship is being hit by mysterious gavimetric waves and every can finally hear the distress call from the Galantus, and orbital station about Ida.

During this time Percy is hit by some form of wave thingy and starts acting more like a normal person that usual.

Capt. Parker of the station requests help for the crew of the station and the miners working the asteroid. After some bouncy bounce shuttle flying, Travis and Callie arrive at Galantus, but there is no one except Capt. Parker aboard, and there is no sign of the mines below.

Rescuing only Capt. Parker, they return to the Trans-Utopian, where Percy starts up a conversation with the prisoner about taking over the ship.

When Parker contacts his superiors on Mars they’ve never heard of him, nor his station. The answer is obvious, Parker has jumped from another parallel universe.

The Percy/Not-Percy overhears this and realizes they’re on to her. She is an escaped mass murdered that sabotage the dimensional whatsadoodle on the mine to jump universes and inhabit someone else’s body.

Back up against the wall, she releases the prisoner and they try to take the ship, and kill Parker, unsuccessfully.

Parker says if they just go back to Galantus, tech the tech, reverse the polarity of the neutron flow, and put some uncertainty back into the Heisenberg compensators, things will happens. And they do. And everything is back to normal.

Two episodes. First, John and Eugene ponder which of Logan and Jessica’s biological functions inconveniences him the most in The Collectors. Second, in Capture, they discuss how many times they’ve both seen TV remakes of The Most Dangerous Game.

The Collectors Synopsis

The legendary quality of 1970s American cars shines as the solar car has broken down in the desert. Rem is repairing it, but it will take some time to repair. He sends Logan and Jessica away, so they stop annoying him.

As they crest the sandy dune, they wax poetic about the possibility that Sanctuary could be “just over that ridge.” Little do they know that a pair is watching them on a monitor and preparing to grant their wish.

Over the rise, they find an oasis and Sanctuary. The actual, honest-to-goodness Sanctuary, with all the Runners that escaped the City of Domes, even Jessica’s childhood friend Martin. It’s just like everything they think about comes to be reality.

Sanctuary is looked over by the Protector, a man called John, and his partner Joanna. They were the ones watching Logan and Jessica.

Logan and Jessica are given nice quarters and shown all the hospitality, but Logan, the old dour puss, is a bit suspicious; however, Jessica drinks it all in.

Rem finishes fixing the car and goes looking for the wayward humans. When he crests the rise, all he sees is desert, and he knows something is wrong.

Logan investigates the city and comes across a cave. Inside, he is harassed by three Sandmen who have come to take him back. Actually, they claim he actually is already back. He escapes them and discovers aliens being held in cells. He meets one pair who live in an alternate atmosphere, which causes Logan to pass out.

John decides to consider collecting Rem as a specimen, too. He sends a fake Logan and Jessica to collect him, but Rem sees through this and the illusion completely. He plays along.

When Logan wakes, he’s back in their room. He finally convinces Jessica that everything they’ve encountered has been created by their minds, so they wish Rem was here, and, like magic, he walks through the door. Is it him or an illusion?

Rem explains that what they see as Sanctuary is most likely an alien spacecraft.

John and Joanna interview Rem, and Rem proves his superiority to them by surviving in the alien atmosphere cell, where he makes friends with the captives.

When the aliens discover Rem is an android, they decide to add him to their collection.

Back in their room, Logan and Jessica use the power to create things from their minds to escape.

All three are captured and are being escorted back to their cells when the revolution begins, and the captive aliens rescue our heroes and kill the bad guy aliens.

Rem, Logan, and Jessica release all the captive aliens and head on their way.

Capture Synopsis

At an idyllic mountain lake, Francis and fellow Sandman Benjamin catch up to Logan, Jessica, and Rem unawares. They take them prisoner.

Francis explains that Logan and Jessica must return to the City of Domes. Rem, on the other hand, is to be destroyed, and he leaves Benjamin behind to do the deed while he takes Logan and Jessica in their solar car.

Separated, Rem tricks Benjamin into a trap and makes him his prisoner, while Logan gets the jump on Francis in a bid to escape. Francis hands Logan his butt on a plate. They camp, waiting for Benjamin to join them.

During the night, Jessica is abducted. In the morning, Logan convinces Francis they must find Jessica, and he gives his word that if Francis gives him back his gun, he’ll give it back when they find Jessica. Francis agrees.

Then meet James Borden, a local landowner and hunt enthusiast. He explains Jessica was probably taken by the swamp mutants, along with all his staff. In the morning, the three armed men can rescue them. They return to Borden’s compound and meet his wife Irene – an intense woman with a passion for 20th-century firearms. Borden himself prefers energy weapons and shows off his penis surrogate to the appreciative Francis.

We learn that Jessica is actually being held by the Bordens. Borden is an avid hunter who has become bored with it all. Like the rest of us, he probably had to read Richard Connell’s The Most Dangerous Game in school, and he’s taken it to heart.

Tomorrow, he will hunt two Sandmen, the most dangerous opponents he’s yet faced. When it’s over, and they are dead, Irene will hunt Jessica – old school style.

The next day, the hunt is on. Logan and Francis fall into all the traps but manage to get themselves out while Borden toys with them. In the hunt, Logan’s gun is destroyed.

Back at the compound, Jessica manages to escape and bumps into Rem, who has been looking for her. They search for Logan and Francis while Irene hunts Jessica.

In the kind of tragic accident that makes hunting the fun sport that it is, Borden accidentally shoots and kills his wife. Distraught, he goes after the Sandmen with a vengeance – even though he is 100% at fault in his wife’s death.

Logan and Francis set up a diversion, and a trap, and Francis kills Borden.

Rem sneaks up and takes Francis’ gun, giving it to Logan. Logan honors his promise and gives it back to Francis.

Francis will now take them in, except that he cannot. Rem has sabotaged the vehicles. In exchange for repairing them, Francis gives Logan until sundown to escape in their solar-powered car. As they leave, Rem presents Logan with another present: Benjamin’s DS Gun.

Join John and Eugene as they journey to fantastical sights and dangers of the 24th century as we follow Logan’s Run. Episode Synopsis In the year 2319, 200 years after a devastating nuclear war, the people in the City of Domes live a perfect life. Perfect, that is until their 30th birthday. That day they ... Read more

Jodie Whitaker’s Doctor’s era comes to a close. Simon and Eugene conclude a two-part discussion of the fall of the Thirteenth.

Jodie Whitaker’s Doctor’s era comes to a close. Simon and Eugene begin a two-part discussion of the fall of the Thirteenth. Episode Synopsis The enhanced Time Lord Cybermen are attacking a train in space carrying some very special cargo, a small child. The Doctor, Yaz, and Dan do some derring do and rescue the train, ... Read more

John and Eugene take a look at what may be the last of Hollywood’s Pre-Star Wars Sci-Fi spectacles. It all changes after this one, folks. Synopsis The Domed City is a closed- oasis in a world destroyed by war. Logan 5 is one of the elite Sandmen who enforce the ultimate law of the Domed ... Read more

For some of us, Star Trek is where it started, and where Star Trek started was The Cage. To celebrate our 600th episode of Fusion Patrol, Simon and Eugene go where no podcast has ever gone before (I’m pretty sure about that claim, I couldn’t find any other podcasts that have ever taken a look ... Read more

Simon and Eugene split hairs over whether the Spitznbergen Separatist are terrorists or extortionists, we discuss sending a remote-controlled dog to do a robot’s job, and the connections between the worlds of Bugs and Batman. Episode Synopsis Three evil motorcycle-riding Power Rangers stage a raid on the Austin Institute. Inside, Dr. Siegal and his assistant, Dr. ... Read more

Simon and Eugene discuss explaining quantum mechanics badly, Simon explains quantum mechanics badly and we talk about a plot so convoluted it involves buying your way out of prison by buying the prison. Episode Synopsis Doctor Neumann and his daughter Cassandra visit, at gunpoint, an archaeological site in the country of Naobi(?) They are brought ... Read more

Simon and Eugene discuss how Ros has added biochemistry to her incredible and expanding skillset, the way that a show that is all about technology seems to portray innovation as having so little value beyond brute force criminal schemes, and TV music and how we used to tape theme music back in the days of ... Read more

Simon and Eugene discuss how efficient it is to rob a bank using a power station, how not to dress a set to look like a real building site, and isotope implosions and the difference between fusion and fission. Episode Synopsis Ros is getting a tour of the NRGen Split Isotope Fusion Power plant, arranged ... Read more

Simon and Eugene discuss memory and learning in SciFi shows in general and using scifi as a MacGuffin rather than a way to explore the human condition in Bugs in particular, and we’ll be talking about the physics of ejecting from a stealth jet, and how the Bugs vision of the 1990s is purely private ... Read more

Simon and Eugene discuss how far futuristic shows should project from the present, and coincidentally where electric bolt guns fit with extrapolating the progression of genetic engineering. We discuss baddies in Bugs and which we would and wouldn’t like to come back and somehow we end up exploring British and American naming conventions. Episode Synopsis ... Read more

We kick off our Series Two of Bugs coverage with the two-part openers “What Goes Up…” and “…Must Come Down.” (In that same order.) Simon and Eugene discuss Bugs. What Goes Up… Synopsis Because I refuse to call them “Gizmos,” Team Bugs have been called in by the Space Technology Agency or STA to ensure ... Read more

Series 1 of Bugs comes to its dramatic conclusion with some really strong nostalgia about how computers used to be… and also how they didn’t used to be. Simon and Eugene discuss Pulse. Episode Synopsis A businessman is brought before Patrick Marcel, venture capitalist, of sorts. He wants to make him an offer he can’t refuse ... Read more

Who knew Team Bugs had such depths of athletic abilities? That will come in handy as they enter the seedy world of performance-enhancing drugs. Simon and Eugene discuss A Sporting Chance. Episode Synopsis Ed, it turns out, is some sort of black belt in a curiously mixed mode martial art. He is at Dr. Defreitas’ ... Read more

If you cross a device that silences explosions with an explosive that explodes silently, will you go deaf when it goes off? Simon and Eugene discuss Hot Metal. Episode Synopsis Two men, both observing very sloppy safety protocols are taking part in a demonstration. Da Silva is showing a potential buyer the enormous commercial properties ... Read more

This week, we review episode 6 of the current series of Doctor Who; Vampires in Venice.

Continuing with our special “Doctor Who season”, we review Flesh and Stone. We’re still cleaning up some technical problems with microphones, sound levels and such, but we’re working on them. Follow us on twitter at http://twitter.com/fusionpatrol

In our inaugural episode, Ben and Eugene overview the first three episodes of the 2010 Doctor Who series and have a more in-depth discussion of episode four – The Time of Angels.