The Complete Men Podcast: Recent Episodes
Paul Tonner
Aim of the podcast is to help, support and inspire men of all ages to reach their full potential and be fully present in their lives. To also be a better man in serving their family and community and listen to the amazing and inspiring stories of men and talk about the benefits of joining a men's group.
In this episode, Paul will talk about the importance of having a positive mindset and being optimistic about life, approaching it from a positive point of view. He will also talk about the energy one has and what they can give out to the world around them through their mindset, their actions and their words.
Paul will talk about how for many years he struggled greatly and let himself down through his negative mindset and how it greatly affected himself and those close to him, eg, leading to divorce. He will also talk about how attending Complete Men on a regular basis has helped him greatly in filtering out and being aware of his negative thoughts and the positive environment provided at a Complete Mens group.
He will also discuss some of the following
- how having a positive mindset means making positive thinking a habit and continually looking for the positives in every situation good or bad.
- the importance of focussing on your self-talk and how we can be our worst critics and catastrophise situations.
- characteristics/traits associated with having a positive mindset eg, acceptance, optimism, resilience.
- health benefits of positive thinking eg, increasing one's lifespan, improved physical and psychological well-being, lower rates of distress and pain.
Paul will also share the inspirational story of Nathan Charles, a former professional Rugby Union player who defied science and has overcome challenges in his life to become the only professional athlete to play a contact sport with Cystic Fibrosis. Paul will talk about Cystic Fibrosis and the great work Nathan Charles does as an ambassador for Cystic Fibrosis Australia raising awareness of the condition. Nathan Charles story is one that exemplifies the power of having a positive mindset and is a story of true determination, grit, courage and a never give up attitude.
May 26 each year is 'Sixty Five Roses day', which is the National Day of Awareness for Cystic Fibrosis and people can purchase a bouquet, sell roses in the community or send virtual roses throughout the month to raise money. This money goes towards helping provide vital support services to people with CF and fund critical research.
Paul will also provide some tips on identifying negative thinking and focussing on positive thinking which includes
1. Focussing on good things in one's life.
2. Practicing Gratitude and starting everyday on a positive note eg, uplifting music, going for a walk.
3. Opening yourself up to humour
4. Spending time with positive people
5. Practicing positive self-talk
6. Identifying areas of negativity.
Sources1.Mayoclinic.org ‘healthy lifestyles, stress management. Positive thinking. Stop negative talk to reduce stress.’ By mayo clinic staff. 3/2/2022.
2.Positive psychology.com ‘positive mindset: how to develop a positive mental attitude,’ by Courtney e. Ackerman M.A. 5/7/2018.
3.Song by Monty python “always look on the bright side of life”, source lyric find, written by eric idle.
4. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nathan_Charles
5.. Australia’s toughest sportspeople ‘Nathan Charles, rugby union’, by mick Collis,
affirm press, 2021.
7.https://www.cff.org/intro-cf/about-cystic-fibrosis
8. https://www.nathancharles.com.au/my-story
9. Sydney university football club ‘Nathan Charles appointed new executive general
manager,’ by sufc, 25/11/2022.
10 Australian Men’s health ‘how wallaby Nathan Charles tackled cystic fibrosis torepresent Australia,’ by men’s health staff 1/5/21.
11. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Verity_Charles
12. https://www.cfwa.org.au/65roses2023/
13.Healthline.com ‘benefits of thinking positively and how to do it.’ By Adrienne Santos Longhurst, medically reviewed by timothy j. legge PhDPsyD. 21/2/2019.
Intro Music- Thrive by All Good Folks from album Music Vine
Outro Music- Revelations by Richard Smithson album Uppbeat
In this episode Paul will talk about what trauma is and how it affects people in different ways and what some of the causes of trauma are. Paul will also discuss
- emotional and psychological trauma and how it is caused by one-time events and ongoing, relentless stress.
- times when Paul has experienced some trauma and what helped him dealing with trauma.
- emotional and physical symptoms of trauma
- how one who suffers trauma can receive help and live a productive life
- the remarkable story of Tony Dell, a former Australian Cricketer who served in the army in the Vietnam War and his many years of living with undiagnosed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from his time on the battlefield. He is now playing a tremendous role in raising awareness of PTSD in the community.
Paul will also discuss some Types of Treatment available for Trauma.
1. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
2. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing or EMDR
3. Somatic Therapies eg, acupoint stimulation, Reiki, sensorimotor psychotherapy.
4. Medications to help with anxiety, sleep, depression.
5. Self care eg, exercise, healthy diet, avoiding alcohol and drugs.
6. Mindfullness
7. Connecting with others and seeking support eg, support groups such as Complete Men.
Sources
1.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Dell
2.https://www.espncricinfo.com/cricketers/tony-dell-4937
3.Podcast ‘once upon a time in the ashes, episode 9, tony dell’, 4/6/2021
4.One voice ‘tony dell lived experience 2021’, n.d.
5.Skysports.com ‘tony dell’s journey from ashes debutant to ptsd victim of vietnam war exported in new book’, by greg milam, 24/6/2021.
6.Twice shot ‘stand tall’, by tony dell founder of standtall4pts.org 17/10/2017.
7.The footyalmanac. Write from the heart. ‘Almanac life: tony dell-soldier in a baggy green finds peace at last’, by ron reed, 29/6/2021..
8. Help.Org.au 'emotional and psycological trauma', by Lawrence Robinson, Melinda Smith M.A and Jeanne Segal Ph.D 6/6/23.
9. American Psychological Association 'Trauma', August 2022.
10. Four Corners.com.au '5 Australian Immigration Success Stories', n.d
Intro music- Thrive by All Good Folks from album Music Vine
Outro music- Revelations by Richard Smithson.
In this episode Paul talks about the topic of happiness and how happiness is a choice and that it is far more important to focus on internal happiness rather than the external eg, money, love. Paul will also talk about the happiness he acquires by attending Complete Men's groups on a regular basis, especially through the connection he receives and the support. Some other information to do with happiness includes.
- how happiness is being present and accepting things the way they are.
- how wanting and desiring things all the time will take one away from being happy.
- the importance connection between gratitude and mindfulness in regard to happiness.
- how social and cultural factors influence how one thinks about happiness and that genetics and life experiences play a role.
- why happiness is important e.g., improves one's health, stronger friendships, more productive at work, coping better with stress.
Paul will also provide some useful tips on how to build happiness in one's life such as
1. building relationships and social connections
2. practicing appreciation and mindfulness regularly
3. practicing kindness, helping out others.
4. choosing a healthy lifestyle e.g., physical activity, adequate sleep, eating a healthy, balanced diet.
5. managing stress levels
6. using humor and doing things one enjoys and also what they are good at.
7. listening to uplifting, happy music e.g., create a happy playlist.
8. Communicating with others when feeling unhappy and attending support groups such as men's groups.
Sources
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Greatergood magazine. Berkeley university of California ‘happiness’, 2023
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https://thiswayup.org.au/what-is-happiness-and-why-is-it-important/
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https://www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-living/mental-wellbeing/low-mood-and-depression/how-to-feel-happier
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The mindset mentor podcast “happiness-peace of mind”, by Rob Dial.
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Thecreativesjournal.com ‘Karen Lethlean’, n.d.
Intro music- Thrive by All Good Folks from album Music Vine
Outro Music- Revelations by Richardd Smithson from Uppbeat.
In this episode Paul talks about a powerful visualization process he took part in at Complete Men recently and the many benefits of visualization eg, becoming a better man, self love. Paul will also discuss
- What is Visualization?
- examples of some well-known sportspeople from over the years who have used visualization to help them excel in their sport eg, Arthur Ashe, Matthew Hayden, Kaite Ledecky.
- that visualization can help one in everyday life such as helping one in reaching their financial goals, helping one in their occupation and in relationships, job interviews and public speaking.
Paul will also provide some useful tips to consider on how to practice visualization such as
1. imagining the specific situation and using all of the senses eg, sight, smell, hearing.
2. deciding on what technique suits eg, meditation.
3. being clear and realistic with goals
4. writing daily affirmations and using "I", language.
5. creating a vision board and filling it with pictures of what you want your life to be like.
6. setting your GPS ie, Goal, Path, Screen (imaging what it looks like on a screen and how it would feel).
Sources
1.Forbes.com ‘the power of visualisation and how to use it,” by Lidija globokar, 5/3/2020.
2.. restoic.com ‘what is visualization? How successful athletes use this proven technique?’ by team restoic, 19/11/2020.
3.Espn.cricinfo.com, couch talk ‘I was much an ironman as I was a cricketer,’ interview by Subash Jayaraman with Matthew Hayden, 27/2/2016.
4.The mindset mentor podcast by rob dial ‘visualize and attract what I want,’ 4/7/2022.
5.https://www.legends.report/arthur-ashe-more-than-a-wimbledon-champion/
6.Mindtools.com ‘visualisation’, by the mindtools content team, n.d.
Intro music- Thrive by All Good Folks from Album Music Vine
Outro music- Revelations by Richard Smithson from Uppbeat.
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In this episode Paul will talk about what it means to have self-discipline, why it is important in our lives and how one can develop self-discipline and lead a happier and more productive life.
Paul will also talk about times when he has displayed self-discipline in his life and times when he has let himself down by not doing so.
Other areas that will be discussed include.
- the difference between self-discipline and motivation.
- how self-discipline reduces anxiety, increases one's ability to reach their goals, increases happiness and builds resilience.
- how one can develop self-discipline through focusing on the change of identy they want to happen and targeting the fundamentals in life eg, sleep, nutrition and exercise.
- writing out goals and creating reminders and getting others to hold you accountable.
- prioritizing and knowing your weaknesses
- changing your perspective and embracing and leaning into discomfort.
References
1.entrepreneurship, health, how to fix the world, how to human, ‘screw motivation, what you need is discipline’, by Zbyhnev N.d.
2. Betterup.com, ‘developing the discipline of self-discipline’, by maggie wooll, 24/2/22.
3. ‘How to be more disciplined. Six ways to master self-control,’ by Thomas frank. 4/11/2018.
4. Betterup.com ‘how (and why) to cultivate a positive mental attitude’, by Erin Eatough Ph.D. 8/11/2021.
5. strides: Goal tracker. Habit checklist and reminders. Kyle Richey CEO Srides.app.com.
Intro Music-Thrive By All Good Folks from Album Music Vine
Outro Music- Revelations by Richard Smithson from Uppbeat
In this episode Paul will talk about the many benefits of gratefulness and the importance of practicing it on a daily basis. Paul will talk about how gratitude is an important part of Complete Men in helping change the mindset, putting their struggles aside and focusing on what the men are grateful for in their lives and why they are grateful. Some of the many benefits of gratitude that will be discussed include.
- acknowledging the goodness in life and that life is wonderful
- changes one's perspective of the world
- appreciating what we have not what we don't have
- builds and maintains relationships with others
- benefits one's social, emotional and psychological well-being
Paul will talk about how he incorporates gratitude into his daily life and will give some examples of others and how they have shown gratitude and find peace in their life despite hardships eg, Nelson Mandella, Edith Rubin, people from poor backgrounds.
Paul will also discuss the Iceberg of Gratitude model and how below the surface one finds the simple, everyday pleasures eg, a smile, sunny day and how by consciously expressing one's gratitude for them it can improve's one's gratitude above the surface level and benefit other parts of their life.
Thanksgiving will also be discussed and why it is practiced in many countries around the world. Paul will also provide some tips on how to more grateful such as
- showing your appreciation to others
- using a gratitude journal
- writing a gratitude letter and even a gratitude visit
- meditation
- gratitude videos, podcasts and apps.
References
1.Positive psychology.com ‘what is gratitude and why it is so important? ‘By tiffany sauber-millacci PhD. 28/2/2017.
2.The mindset mentor podcast ‘how to have more gratitude’, by rob dial. 12/7/23.
3.Www. wbur.org ‘holocaust survivor shares the rare moments of kindness amid unimaginable cruelty’ by Yasmin Amer, 27/1/2020.
4.blankpagesandemptyspaces.com/interviews/hugh-van-cuylenburg-from-the-resilience-project/. n.dIntro music- Thrive by All Good Folks from album Music Vine
Outro music- Revelations by Richard Smithson from Uppbeat
In this episode Paul will talk about what being triggered by something or someone is really about and how one can learn greatly from being triggered. Paul will also talk about different examples of what makes one triggered and how they are often due to past, unresolved trauma and can be when one perceives a threat to their environment.
Paul will give examples of when he has been triggered and how he now has the opinion that being triggered is a gift and makes him aware of what he is holding onto from the past. He will also discuss
- internal triggers (comes from within the person eg, an emotion, loneliness) and external triggers (which comes from the person's environment eg, certain sounds, images)
- how triggers are formed eg, a strong sensory connection, a deeply ingrained habit.
- the importance of identifying where a trigger comes from and then see the cause and effect of what it is linked to eg, person experiencing grief around a certain time of the year.
- tips on how to recognize what triggers you e.g., paying attention to the symptoms and how you are feeling.
- tips on how to respond and deal with what triggers you e.g., memorize your reaction, taking a break, understanding your feelings and working with a mental health professional or counsellor.
References1.Verywellmind.com ‘what does it mean to be triggered,’ by Arlin cuncic MD 10/3/2022.
2.Betterup.com ‘triggered: learn how to recognise the feeling and keep it in check’ by allaya cooks-Cameron, 15/7/2022.
3.Betterup.com ‘breathwork. The secret to emotional regulation.’ By allaya cooks-Campbell, 19/8/2021.
4.The mindset mentor podcast ‘why do you get triggered?’30/12/2020.
5.Verywellmind.com ‘what is mindfulness meditation? By Kendra cherry M.Ed. 22/9/2022.
Intro Music- Thrive by All Good Folks from Album Music Vine
Outro Music- Revelations by Richard Smithson from album Uppbeat.
In this episode Paul will begin by reading a poem "There is a hole in the sidewalk", and the meaning he gets from this poem and from when it has been discussed in past Complete Men sessions. One can make the same choices in life that only lead to mistakes and into the same "hole in the sidewalk", which often can be very difficult to get out of. eg, addictions, alcoholism, drugs, negative relationships and negative thought patterns and not managing one's anger. It is important for one to look back on the mistakes they have made in their life, not beat themselves up for them or blame others. One can only get out of the hole in the sidewalk by learning from their mistakes, becoming wiser and developing their personal and organizational skills. in this episode some of what Paul will discuss are
- where he made significant mistakes in his life, how he took life for granted, how it negatively impacted those close to him and how by self-reflection and attending men's groups it helped him learn from the mistakes and not be so hard on himself.
- how others have inspired him by being open and talking about past mistakes they have made in life and how they have wiser and stronger.
- tips to help deal with mistakes one makes and how to stop repeating them in the future. These include owning your mistake, reframing the error, analyzing the mistake, putting lessons learned into practice and reviewing your progress.
Mistakes as Billy Joel's song "Your only human", are a normal part of life. They are great opportunities to learn and become better individuals.
References1.Lifelessons4u.wordpress.com “how life works. There is a hole in my sidewalk. “By Portia Nelson 30/9/2009. How to live life. Life’s lessons by Dct Randy Pausch.
2.There’s a hole in my sidewalk by Portia Nelson. Complete men, the states of change.
3.9NOW a current affair ‘how a former bikie is trying to change broken youth crime system’, by Sacha passi, 2021.
4.Mindtools.com ‘how to learn from your mistakes,’ by the mind tools content team.
5.https://www.niagarainstitute.com, ‘I keep making mistakes at work. What to do to break the pattern,’ by Emily may, 10/6/2021.
6.Genius.com, ‘you’re only human, (second wind), by Billy Joel, produced by Phil Ramone, 1/7/1985
Intro music- Thrive by All Good Folks from Album Music Vine
Interim- Sky High by Trinity from Uppbeat.
Outro music- Revelations by Richard Smithson from album Uppbeat.
In this episode will discuss the topic of resentment and that it is a response to wrongdoing and how many men particularly struggle with resentment with regard to ex-wife's, ex-girlfriends, parents, the government. Resentment often results when one's feelings become too overwhelming and is often associated with feelings such as anger, disappointment, bitterness. some of what Paul will discuss include.
- how it is solely up to the individual to make the choice to let go, forgive in order to let go of resentment and live a more fulfilling and prosperous life.
- examples of resentment in his own life and how resentment is often due to an unfortunate event taking place.
- signs of resentment such as inability to stop thinking about the event, recurring negative thoughts, feelings of regret/remorse, avoiding particular situations, inability to let go of anger, feelings of inadequacy.
Paul will also provide some tips to consider helping one's resentment and live a happier life. These include.
- seeing a medical specialist e.g., psychologist, psychiatrist.
- considering why it's difficult to forgive
- using self-compassion
- empathy for the other person and thinking loving thoughts for the person or situation one resents
- practicing gratitude
- checking motives and expectations
- focusing on what one values in life
References
1.JSTOR ‘on the relationship between forgiveness and resentment in the sermons of joseph butler’, by Shelby Weitzel, history of philosophy quarterly, vol 24.no 3, July 2007, pp 237-253.
2.WebMD ‘what is resentment? ‘Jennifer Casarella, MD, 29/12/2022.
3.Tinybudda.com ‘4 powerful tips to reduce resentment and feel happier’.by Jared Akers, Nd.
4.The Savvy Psychologist podcast ‘How to let go of resentment”. By Doctor Monica Johnson 5/12/2020.
Intro music- Thrive by All Good Folks from Album Music Vine
Outro music- Revelations by Richard Smithson from Uppbeat.
In this episode, Paul will talk about some common unhealthy habits many people struggle with and will give some examples of unhealthy habits he has dealt with over the years and today. Paul will discuss the 'Law of 100', and he finds it helps him in changing an unhealthy habit into a positive one. Some common unhealthy habits people have include
- too much time on social media
- distraction when driving
- being too hard on oneself
- multitasking
- stress eating
- smoking and excessive drinking of alcohol
- nail biting
- numbing through pornography
- overspending
Paul will mention some other tips to consider when giving up unhealthy habits and living a more productive life. This include
- increasing and decreasing certain cue's in one's environment
- making it harder to follow through with unhealthy habits and easier to follow through with productive ones.
- preparing items the night before
- making a list
- identifying the cause of the bad habit
- replacing the bad habit with an alternative behaviour
- not being too hard on oneself
- rewarding oneself.
ReferencesIntro music- Thrive by All Good Folks from album Music Vine
Outro music- Revelations by Richard Smithson from Uppbeat
- The mindset mentor ‘the law of 100’ by rob dial, 11/11/2022.
- Lifehack.org ‘25 bad habits you need to quit right now’. By celestine Chua. 25/10/2022.
- Improvement pill. ‘How to change your habits-the easiest way’ 28/2/2019.
- Psych central ‘ways to change a habit,’ by Joslyn Jelinek 29/7/2021.
In this episode Paul will share the story of a courageous and inspirational man. John Maclean began life tough in the outer western suburbs of Sydney. He always dreamed of being a paid professional athlete and when he achieved that dream at a young age life was going great. However, one day in 1988 he was hit from behind by a eight tonne truck and all of a sudden he was fighting for his life. Thankfully John survived and was left an incomplete paraplegic with his dreams and aspirations shattered.
John embraced this massive change to his life and took on exciting challenges and opportunities. He never gave up and he went on to achieve extrordinary athletic feats such as
- becoming the first paraplegic to finish the Ironman World Championships in Hawaii.
- first paraplegic to swim the English Channel
- competed at the Olympic and Paralympics winning medals in athletics and rowing.
- completing the Nepean Triathlon without the use of a wheelchair after regaining some use of his legs through Ware K Tremor therapy.
He is the founder of the John Maclean Foundation, which assists wheelchair users under the age of 18. and is a much sought after motivational speaker with his clients including eBay and Pfizer.
In order to accept change, John Maclean focusses and promotes the five M's.
Map- having a map or plan
Mindset- having the right mindset
Mentor- Accessing and experienced mentor
Motivation- Accessing one's motivation to change
Momentum- by accessing one's progress over time.
References
- The Mindset Reset podcast 'Finding Opportunities in Obstacles', by Rob Dial 7/5/2023.
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Maclean_(sportsperson)
- Flint rehab ‘incomplete paraplegia: frequently asked questions’ by courtney maher, 5/1/2021.
- John mclean ‘how far can you go?” https://johnmaclean.com.au/
- Change a constant challenge, john maclean, TEDxDesignTechHS, 26/6/2021.
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ultraman_(endurance_challenge)
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kathryn_Ross_(rower)
- Research gate. ‘Introducing a Novel (very effective) Therapy for Programming and Reprogramming the Central Nervous System; “Ware K Tremor” Therapy– A Health Trigger Process
- https://jmf.com.au/about-us/ ‘john maclean foundation’
- Standing eight podcast “Featuring the inspirational John Maclean”, 2/8/2020.
In this episode Paul will talk about a useful process the men did in regard to the topic of depression and Paul will open up and talk about his own experience with depression and anxiety disorder and how he has put the tools in place to help him with dealing with episodes of depression and social anxiety over the years. In this episode some of what is also discussed includes
- Social anxiety and appropriate treatment.
- some statistics in regard to mental illness e.g., 44 percent of Australians between the ages of 16-85 are estimated to experience a mental disorder at some time in their lives and one in five in the past 12 months.
- why men are less likely to seek help for depression e.g., told to "man up".
- assistance available for men who are depressed e.g., men's groups such as Complete Men, Mensline
- What is depression? e.g., sadness, lack of focus, insomnia, loss of hope.
- What doesn't work for one who is depressed? e.g., numbing, distraction, isolating, not seeking help.
- What works to help one who is depressed- e.g., seeking professional help such as a psychiatrist/psychologist, medication, reaching out to others, exercise, helplines such as Lifeline, asking "What can I do and how can I do it?"
- How one can support themselves when they are depressed e.g., meditation, mindfulness, breathwork, support groups, staying connected, caring for a pet, balanced schedule, gratitude, sunlight, changing negative thoughts into positive ones, healthy nutrition and taking B complex supplements.
- how to support another person who is depressed e.g., not judging, being persistent, tolerance and acceptance, empathy.
References
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- Brisbane pediatric nutrition, ‘depression: when it’s all in the family’, written by Katherine kam, https://www.webmd.com/depression/features/depression-when-its-all-in-the-family 23/2/2009.
- Better health channel. ‘Social phobia’, https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/social-phobia
- Australian government, Australian institute of health and welfare ‘mental health, prevalence, and impact of mental illness,’ 29/3/23.
- https://988lifeline.org/help-someone-else/?utm B4xMnuRTCse6V9_evAe2ATr1vB5EsOOtZ7Ed64xoCH4AQAvD_BwE
- https://www.beyondblue.org.au/
- Helpguide.org ‘coping with depression.’ By Melinda smith, Lawrence Robinson, and Jeanne Segal Ph.D. 4/4/2023.
Introduction music- Thrive by All Good Folks from Album Music Vine
Outro music- Revelations by Richard Smithson from Uppbeat.
In this episode will talk about how to install more energy into ones life and how having more energy results in more action and leads to a more fulfilling and productive life. Paul will discuss what methods he has used in order to deal with a chronic health condition and have more energy and how it has worked for him e.g., aromatherapy, exercise, good nutrition and improved quality of sleep.
Some of what he will discuss in the episode includes.
- the negative effects of having low energy e.g., affecting work performance, relationships, ability to focus.
- the Root Cause Protocol and how it helps with improving energy and dealing with inflammation in the body.l
- prioritising quality sleep eg, having a consistent sleep schedule and bed routine, limit exposure to screens at night.
- exercising regularly
- eating a balanced diet and avoiding sugar and processed foods,
- keeping a balance in blood sugar levels throughout the day. and eating foods with a low glycemic index.
- increase magnesium intake
- staying well hydrated by drinking the right amount of water everyday.
- managing stress through practicing deep breathing, meditation, mindfulness and exercise.
- limiting caffeine intake especially in the afternoon and at nighttime.
- limiting alcohol consumption, especially before bedtime and in the middle of the day.
- listening to energising music especially with tasks one may find difficult to get motivated to do and listening to personal develeopment podcasts.
- giving up smoking
- see a doctor to get a thyroid function and red blood cell count
- getting more sun.
References
1. https://www.youngliving.com/en_AU/products/c/starting-options
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https://www.myaliveness.com/
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https://therootcauseprotocol.com/
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Webmd.com ‘10 ways to boost your energy’, by Colette Bouchez, 6/4/22.
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Complete guide to sleep care. Best practices for a restful and happier you. By Kiki Ely. Quarto publishing, New York, 2022.
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How to have more energy. 7 best ways. Solver. 8/5/23.
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Harvard health publishing. Harvard medical school. ‘9 tips to boost your energy naturally’, 30/8/2020.
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https://yerbamateaustralia.com.au/
Intro music- ‘Thrive’ by All Good Folks from Album Music Vine
Outro music- ‘Revelations’ by Richard Smithson Album Upbeat
In this episode Paul will discuss the topic of Forgiveness and how if one doesn't forgive they will tend to carry feelings of anger, bitterness inside them and find it difficult to move on and live a more productive, peaceful life. Some of what Paul will discuss include
- where he has moments in his life where he has been confronted with having to forgive and when he hasn't and held grudges it would affect his relationships with others and affected his ability to enjoy the present.
- how one has many "hearts of the matter", moments in their lives where they are confronted with deciding whether to forgive or not. eg, a lost love, broken friendship.
- by choosing to forgive it improve one's physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.
- how forgiveness involves time, patience and grace.
- why people choose not to forgive eg, it feels unfair and feels good.
- how some people are naturally more forgiving than others
- by not choosing to forgive and being wrapped up in the wrong it can disconnect one from others eg, family and friends, and can make one depressed, irritable and anxious.
- how forgiving and forgetting is possible when one is able to see more than one angle of the situation and can see the bigger picture and develop wisdom.
- by forgiving it shows maturity, provides a powerful legacy for others to follow, grants one more freedome and one becomes a survivor not a victim. One is in more control of the life.
- one can learn to forgive themselves by accessing their wrongdoing, being kind to themselves and consider reaching out to those they perceive they have harmed.
Paul will also provide some useful tips on how to learn to forgive and let go. These include
1. beginning with an intention to forgive.
2. acknowledging the pain caused by the grievance.
3. evaluating the gains and losses.
4. assessing the attitudes and beliefs around forgiveness.
5 using letting go exercises eg, journaling, meditation and visualization, daily affirmations and monitoring inner thoughts and one's own speech.
References
Intro music- ‘Thrive’ by All Good Folks from Album Music Vine
Outro music- ‘Revelations’ by Richard Smithson Album Upbeat
- Mayoclinic.org “forgiveness: letting go of grudges and bitterness”. By mayo clinic staff n.d.
- The heart of the matter by don Henley, album ‘the end of the innocence’, released 1989. Songfacts.com, 26/7/2014.
- Don Henley lyrics “the heart of the matter”, azylyrics.com, 30/7/2014.
- Powering through ‘is forgiving and forgetting really possible?’ the complete men foundation, Nd.
- Letting go of past grievances by Judith Perlman, LCSW, highland park, Illinois.
In this episode, Paul will talk about what is involved in a typical night at Complete Men, the structure of the session and the importance of the group protocols which are read out and adhered to at each session. The aim is to make it more comfortable for any man that is thinking about attending Complete Men. In this episode, Paul will discuss
- the importance of men's groups and how they are growing in western society.
- the benefits men receive when they attend a men's group and what they take away and transform into their everyday lives.
- the reasons why men attend a men's group such as Complete Men eg, relationship issues, seperation, divorce, anxiety and depression, mid-life crisis.
- the many benefits Paul has obtained from attending men's groups over the past 10 years and why he attends on a regular basis eg, being accountable, be a better man.
In talking about the structure of the session, Paul will talk about the following
- Meet and greet and introduction
- The importance of sitting in a circle.
- Why men come to a men's group
- short process eg, breathwork, meditation, a poem/story with a powerful meaning.
In regards to the 9 Group Protocols, Paul will discuss and talk more in depth about
1. "I" language and only speaking for oneself and the power of using "I" language.
2. Confidentiality
3. Safety and Respect
4. The talking stick
5. Feedback and advice
6. Feelings
7. Passing- and how it is ok for a man to pass.
8. Presence
9. Facilitation
Paul will then discuss in depth the
- Check in which is where men talk to the group about their week, what's happening in their life and getting to the emotional content of their experience. Men talk about what is on their mind, issues, challenges, feelings.
- opportunity for clarification and feedback.
- short break to connect with other men in the group
- process which involves focusing on a particular topic and engaging in great discussion where men can explore themselves further. Men are also provided with the opportunity to go into a smaller group for a longer share.
- short check out ie, what men are taking away from the meeting and what they will take into their week.
- general information eg, upcoming seminars, programs, social events.
-Buddy system where new men are matched with an experienced man in the group who checks in on them throughout the week.
References
- https://dealingwithdifficultpeople.org/i-language-2/
- https://completemen.org.au/about-us
Intro music-Thrive by All Good Folks from Album Music Vine
Outro music- Revelations by Richard Smithson, Album 'Upbeat'.
References for Anger episode1.American psychological association “anger”, 2023
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Mainstream corporate training “the anger process and how it affects our thinking”. 2023.
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YLC Your life counts “dealing with anger. Types of anger”, n.d.
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Dr Gabor Mate on “How to process anger and rage”, the Tim Ferris show 2022.
Intro music-Thrive by All Good Folks from Album Music Vine
Outro music- Revelations by Richard Smithson, Album 'Upbeat'.
In this episode, Paul will focus on the topic of anger and discuss what makes one angry and some of his own personal experiences with anger and how attending Complete Men on a regular basis has assisted him in learning to respond and not react.
Paul will also talk about the following
- what is anger?
- how anger can be a good and a bad thing and if it isn't managed properly can lead to anger management issues.
- our anger can affect our physical and mental health.
- how it isn't the actual event that makes one angry, it is how they interpret the event.
- the importance of asking the question "is my anger helping or hurting me?"
- how anger occurs when our boundaries are crossed and how we want to protect our boundaries.
- how anger can be supressed in the body for years from when we are young and how it can build up for years and be released later in life in an unhealth response when easily triggered.
- healthy anger is anger taken out in a positive way eg, fully experiencing the process of rage and understanding what is happening in the body.
- types of anger eg, passive aggression, open aggression, assertive aggression.
Paul will also provide some useful tips on how to deal with anger positively such as
1. deep breathing
2. relaxing the muscles through progressive muscle relaxation
3. developing problem solving through journaling.
4. distraction e.g., going for a walk, listening to music.
5. seeking context in regard to the situation.
6. seeking professional help when required e.g., developing anger management issues.
In this episode, Paul will talk about the importance of setting healthy boundaries and how it defines our identity and all comes down to clear communication. The clearer one can communicate their boundaries, the more likely the persons' boundaries will be respected and it will serve to protect our physical, mental and emotional well-being. Paul will discuss examples of what boundaries he sets for himself and where he has let himself down in the past by not establishing and setting boundaries in place. Paul will also discuss some of the following
- Batteries (people who give us energy and respect our boundaries) and vacuums (people who drain us of energy and have little respect for our boundaries).
- by setting healthy boundaries we are less likely to become stressed and physically and emotinally fatigued.
- setting boundaries is based around aspects such as as emotional energy, time, personal space, sexuality, morals and ethics, material possessions and finances.
- the difference between rigid boundaries and loose/open boundaries and how we can have a mix of boundaries eg, rigid at work, loose/open at home.
- characteristics of a person who sets healthy boundaries for themselves.
- what to consider when setting boundaries for yourself eg, physical, sexual, intellectual, emotional, financial aspects.
- how by not respecting another person's boundaries can create feelings of resentment and contempt and cause one to withdraw.
Paul will also provide some tips on how to set healthy boundaries such as
1. reflecting on reasons for your boundaries
2. starting with a few boundaries
3. setting boundaries early on and being consistent.
4. allowing time to do activities that you enjoy and caring for yourself
5. setting healthy boundaries on social media
6. communicating when your boundaries are crossed.
7. recognising and respecting the boundaries of others.
References
-
https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-set-boundaries/ by logan Hailey n.d
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The mindset mentor podcast “How to set boundaries.” By Rob Dial. 2022.
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Psychcentral.com, “10 ways to build and preserve better boundaries”, by Chantelle Pater more, medically reviewed by Jacquelyn Johnson PhD. 3/6/2021.
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How to set boundaries without feeling guilty (and why people drain your energy) by Aaron Doughty.2020.
Intro music- Thrive by All Good Folks from album Music Vine
Outro music- Revelations by Richard Smithson, Upbeat.
In this episode Glenn Moran is back to discuss with Paul the many benefits of the practice of meditation. He will discuss what meditation is and provide some insight into the keys for success when meditating.
Glenn will also talk about his personal journey with meditation and how it has greatly helped him with dealing with his physical disability and associated conditions on a daily basis.
In this episode, Paul would talk about how our fears can hold us back in life and stop us from chasing and going after our dreams and living the life we want to live. Paul will give a personal account of some of the major fears he has experienced in his life and what he has found helpful in dealing with these fears eg, OCD, public speaking. Paul will also discuss some of the following
- what a fear is and how when one feels fear it means they are reaching the edge of their comfort zone.
- how fear is brought on by a threat of danger, harm or pain and that most of what we fear does not kill us and does not cause us any real harm.
- different types of fear eg, immediate, imagined and what is at the centre of fear eg, fear of failure.
- how avoiding our fears really causes more anxiety.
- examples of some famous people who never gave up and faced their fears.
- how a phobia can develop when fears become ongoing and irrational. eg, social phobia.
- how methods such as cognitive behavioral therapy are very helpful in dealing with fear and phobias.
- some useful strategies/tips on dealing with fear such as making an action plan, practicing mindfulness, deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation and finding humor.
References
- Fifteen highly successful people who failed before succeeding, success mindset, lifehack.org. By Sebastian kipmah. 26/9/2022.
- https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/facing-and-overcoming-fears, June 2022.
- https://psychcentral.com/health/how-to-face-your-fears. “6 healthy coping strategies to face your fears”.26/7/2022.
- The mindset mentor podcast, by rob dial. 2022. “How to get over fear of failure”.
- https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/mindfulness-can-help-you-tame-fears-and-worries 15/12/2022.
In this episode, Paul will talk about the Drama Triangle which is a social model of human interaction proposed by Stephen B. Karpmann and how it has been used as a useful process in The Complete Men's group. Paul will discuss some of the following
- What the Drama Triangle and how it involves the relationship shift between three roles ie, the persecutor, the rescuer and the victim.
- How the aim is to move away from the edges of the triangle and right into the middle as this is where all roles integrate and one is more self-aware and at peace within themselves and with their relationships.
= the characteristics of each of the three roles and how a persona has a Starting Gate which is the one role that one naturally enters into which is part of our identity.
Paul will also talk about some tips on how to step out of the Drama Triangle such as
- being aware of the roles one plays or have been placed in and how they can step out of that role and stop the repeated behavior.
- noticing immediate reactions and putting in a pause between the stimulus and the response.
- refusing to accept an opponent's force.
- examine any ingrained thinking patterns that one wants to change and adapt and replace.
- managing ones boundaries and believing and valuing oneself.
- stepping out of the victim role and becoming a creator of one's life.
- practicing daily gratitude.
- identifying toxic relationships and re-evaluating.
References
1. https://www.listeningpartnership.com/insight/about-the-drama-triangle-and-how-to-escape-it/
2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle
3. Understanding the drama triangle vs presence. The conscious leadership group 2016.
4. The drama triangle. Transactional analysis games by lauren kress 10/4/2016.
In this episode Paul will talk about ways in which one can master and have control over their thoughts and how the quality of our thoughts determines the quality of our lives. Some of what will be discussed includes
- What are thoughts and how they differ to our emotions.
- Bringing our thoughts to the surface and a and controlling our thought process.
- voluntary (foreground) and involuntary (background) thoughts.
Tips on how to master our thoughts. ie, (make foreground thoughts from background thoughts).
1. Giving the mind a chance to be calm and quiet
2. Listen to the body
3. finding your STOP sign,
4. Think about what words you are feeding your body.
5. Use positive affirmations regularly.
6. Consistently monitor and switch your thoughts.
7. Read Personal Development books and listen to Personal Development podcasts.
References
- https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/what-are-thoughts-emotions#:~:text=Thoughts%20are%20mental%20cognitions%E2%80%94our,%2C%20worse%2C%20or%20neutral).
- A Watcher of my Thoughts. Thought Processes. Courtesy of Pathwork. N.d.
- Lifehack.org, “7 ways to truly master your own mind”, by Nicole leigh-west.21/12/2015.
In this episode Paul will talk about dealing with change and how it is an inevitable part of life and requires adjustments. Some of what Paul will discuss includes the following
- examples in Paul's life where he has had significant change in his life and what helped him adjust to the change eg, social support and joining a Men's Group.
- how some changes in life are considered minor where others are more significant and major can bring on symptoms of anxiety, stress, feelings of being overwhelmed, changes in appetitie, depression, irritability, problems sleeping.
Paul will also discuss some useful tips on how to deal with significant changes in life in order to make the transition more smooth and less stressful. This include
1. Changing the way you think about change, eg, cognitive reframing technique.
2. Not getting too comfortable and putting a plan in place for when there is a sudden change eg, creating a budget, making a checklist for upcoming events.
3. Discussing own personal feelings towards change. eg, friends, family, social connections. Talking to a healthcare provider or mental health professional.
4. Keeping changes You Can control to a minimum and not enacting on too many changes at once.
5. Trusting your instincts eg, not being forced into decisions or situations you do not feel comfortable with.
6. Maintaining routines and structures to help cope with symptoms of stress and anxiety, eg, going to bed early and waking up the same time every day. Looking after yourself spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally and financially.
References
-
David Lomman. 3 Steps to Support Yourself While Dealing With Change. 2019.
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Kendra Cherry. How to Get Better at Dealing With Change. VeryWellMind.com, 1/11/2021.
Paul is back for another episode. This week he is going to talk about the topic of resilience and where he has had to apply it to particular situations in his life. He will also discuss the following
- Definition of resilience.
- identifying situations in one's life where they have experienced difficult and challenging situations eg, relationship breakup, death of a loved one, injury/illness.
- identifying minor setbacks in life and major setbacks and how resilience is not fixed and that it does not automatically grow. Flexibility builds in us as we deal with all kinds of stressors every day.
- the importance of gratitude, compassion, forgiveness and reframing negative thoughts. the importance of looking at the situation realistically.
- seeing challenging events/situations as opportunities to challenge oneself and develop new skills.
- focusing on what is within one's control, managing stress and problem solving.
- the importance of social support eg, support groups such as Complete Men.
- recognising the importance of support and know when to ask for help.
- regulating emotions and managing and seeking assistance, especially with potentially overwhelming feelings.
- communicating clearly and effectively and not being afraid to seek support and acquire the resources one may need.
References
-
American Psychological Association, “Resilience” 2023
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Resilience Resource Centre, Everyday Health.com “What is Resilience? Your Guide to Facing Life’s Challenges, Adversities, and Crises”, by Katie Hurley 2023.
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VeryWellmind.com, “What is Resilience?” by Kendra Cherry, 13/3/23.
In this week's episode, Paul sits down with his great mate Glenn Moran (Co-host of the Sport Shack podcast). Glen talks about his inspirational life and how he has shown great resilience and strength living with a physical disability. Glenn will provide an insight into
- Cerebral Palsy and the challenges he has faced living with a physical disability from a very early age.
- where he grew up, the different schools he attended and what life was like for him growing up, eg, experiencing bullying at school.
- how despite the challenges he has faced, he has overcome the odds and ran a business, worked for a living, raised a family and now has grandchildren.
- his passions such as Buddhism, sound and music.
- into why he decided to begin attending a men's group and the benefits he has found from attending a men's group.
Please check out Glenn's GoldStudio Productions on Facebook.
goldstudioproductions@gmail.com
In this episode Paul talks about the importance of active listening and that it is the most fundamental component of interpersonal communication skills. He talks about some common old habits that himself and others may fall into in not showing good active listening. Also talks about how active listening is practiced at a Complete Men group and an activity the group does to improve their active listening skills. Paul will also discuss in this episode
- What is active listening and why it is so important? eg, in relationships, work situations.
Active Listening techniques which include
- being fully present in the conversation.
- the three A's of active listening ie, attention, attitude, and adjustment.
- paying attention to non-verbal cues.
- mirroring and keeping appropriate eye contact.
- asking open-ended questions.
- reflecting what is heard.
- practicing active listening
References
1. What is Active Listening by Arlin Cuncic, 2022 Therapy in Focus.
2. Amy Morin. The Verywell mind podcast. Ways to Improve Active Listening.
3. Adina Zinn MPA “What are the three A’s of active listening? How to Put Active Listening into Practice? 2023.
4. What is Active Listening? The Complete Men Foundation, 2022.
In this episode Paul will talk about the importance of personal responsibility, and the importance in recognizing areas in one's life where they have not shown responsibility and how to take action to live a more fulfilling life. Paul will also talk about
- a process in a recent Complete Men workshop regarding responsibility.
- keeping promises and honoring commitments to yourself and to others.
- some useful tips on how to more responsible. These include cutting on complaining, taking care of finances, having a consistent routine and schedule, placing others needs before your own.
- tips on how to not lose items by putting things in their proper place, showing maturity in relationships,
- taking care of tasks, you need to get down before having fun, setting goals for yourself and not taking on more than one can handle e.g., work commitments.
References
1. Sandra Possing, 2023. Wik how, to do anything.
2. Djordje Todorovic, 2021. Success Mindset. 5 Tips on How to be a more responsible person.
3. Connie Mathers, 2019 What is Personal Responsibility. 8 Key Ingredients.
In this episode Paul will discuss the topic of accountability and how and why it is important in life eg, showing you are important, the respect one has for themselves and respect given by others. Some of what is also discussed includes
- What is accountability and how it can be used as a weapon to be successful in life.
- The difference between responsibility and accountability.
- Three habits of Personal accountability ie, never blame, looking in the mirror, finding a solution.
- the benefits of personal accountability eg, healthier relationships, builds trust.
- some tips on how to develop personal accountability eg, making habits and actions small, identifying core values, having a review system, having an accountability buddy.
References1. Michael Timms, Accountability, High Leaders.com, How Leaders can inspire accountability 2022.
2. Developing Personal Accountability-Taking Personal Responsibility to Get Ahead. Mind Tools. Emerald Lakes Limited 2022.
3. Accountability to Yourself: How and Why It is Important, The Habitista
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Paul is back for another episode. This week he talks about the many benefits of silence and the powerful message it conveys, especially in Complete Mens' sessions. Silence allows time to think, process life and just simply exist and not focus on the external stimuli in one's life. Some of the other benefits of silence that are covered in this episode include
- significant spiritual, psychological and mental health advantages.
- allows time for self-reflection and clarity.
- encourages mindfulness and promotes self-awareness.
- stimulates the brain cells and boosts brain growth.
- relieves stress and boosts creativity.
- helps one process information allowing time to think, reflect and rest.
- helps with focus and concentration
- creates stronger relationships and communication at a deeper level.
Paul also discuses some useful ways to incorporate more silence into your life through
- meditation and using some useful apps on your devices.
- having simple quiet, silent time enjoying something you love eg, being in nature, having a coffee.
- going for a walk and listening to the natural noises around you
- being silent in conversations which allows one to listen more effectively.
- taking advantage of quiet moments throughout the day.
References
-
The Mindset Mentor podcast, “7 keys to better mental health”. Rob Dial, 2023
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Why Silence is Power/Priceless Benefits of being silent, Einzelganger, 2022
-
The Hidden Benefits of Silence, PsychCentral by Janelle Cox, 2022
-
An Ode to Silence: Why you need it in your life. Cleveland Clinic 2020.
-
The Importance of Silence in Life. Jason Ong, Life, Lessons, Value.2023.
Paul is back for another episode. This week he talks about the many benefits of silence and the powerful message it conveys, especially in Complete Mens' sessions. Silence allows time to think, process life and just simply exist and not focus on the external stimuli in one's life. Some of the other benefits of silence that are covered in this episode include
- significant spiritual, psychological and mental health advantages.
- allows time for self-reflection and clarity.
- encourages mindfulness and promotes self-awareness.
- stimulates the brain cells and boosts brain growth.
- relieves stress and boosts creativity.
- helps one process information allowing time to think, reflect and rest.
- helps with focus and concentration
- creates stronger relationships and communication at a deeper level.
Paul also discuses some useful ways to incorporate more silence into your life through
- meditation and using some useful apps on your devices.
- having simple quiet, silent time enjoying something you love eg, being in nature, having a coffee.
- going for a walk and listening to the natural noises around you
- being silent in conversations which allows one to listen more effectively.
- taking advantage of quiet moments throughout the day.
Paul is back for another episode. This week he talks about Journaling and why it is important for personal and spiritual development and getting clarity of our thoughts, and becoming clear on what is going on. What is also discussed is
- what is journaling and why it is so important.
- how journaling helps reduce anxiety and is a great de-stressor for when one feels overwhelmed.
- the benefits of writing down and seeing what's going on in one's life and figuring out their thoughts, feelings and emotions.
- how journaling encourages space from negative self-talk and self-criticism.
- the health benefits of regular journaling e.g., reduced blood pressure, better mood.
- that journaling allows oneself to learn about themselves, find out who they are and why they are that way.
- some tips on how to journal e.g., picking a time of day and a medium that best suits you.
- setting a goal of how often you will journal each week.
- asking yourself a question and then trying to answer it in regards to how you feel and why you feel that way.
- asking yourself "what can I do today to make this day great and feel my needs?"
Paul also talks about gratitude journaling and what it is and its many benefits e.g., strengthens emotional resilience. Also discusses some tips on how to do gratitude journaling and giving full attention to what you have gratitude for and appreciate in your life.
References1. The 5 benefits to journalling for mental health. Jeremy Sutton PhD, 2018 Positive Psychology.com
-
Elizabeth Scott PhD, “How to maintain a gratitude journal for stress relief”. Verywellmind.com, 2021.
-
Journalling. The no bullsht guide to journalling. The no bullsht guide to a happier life. 2022.
-
The Mindset Mentor, How to Journal, 2022. Rob Dial
Paul is back for another episode. This week he talks about Journaling and why it is important for personal and spiritual development and getting clarity of our thoughts, and becoming clear on what is going on. What is also discussed is
- what is journaling and why it is so important.
- how journaling helps reduce anxiety and is a great de-stressor for when one feels overwhelmed.
- the benefits of writing down and seeing what's going on in one's life and figuring out their thoughts, feelings and emotions.
- how journaling encourages space from negative self-talk and self-criticism.
- the health benefits of regular journaling e.g., reduced blood pressure, better mood.
- that journaling allows oneself to learn about themselves, find out who they are and why they are that way.
- some tips on how to journal e.g., picking a time of day and a medium that best suits you.
- setting a goal of how often you will journal each week.
- asking yourself a question and then trying to answer it in regards to how you feel and why you feel that way.
- asking yourself "what can I do today to make this day great and feel my needs?"
Paul also talks about gratitude journaling and what it is and its many benefits e.g., strengthens emotional resilience. Also discusses some tips on how to do gratitude journaling and giving full attention to what you have gratitude for and appreciate in your life.
References
1. The 5 benefits to journalling for mental health. Jeremy Sutton PhD, 2018 Positive Psychology.com
-
Elizabeth Scott PhD, “How to maintain a gratitude journal for stress relief”. Verywellmind.com, 2021.
-
Journalling. The no bullsht guide to journalling. The no bullsht guide to a happier life. 2022.
-
The Mindset Mentor, How to Journal, 2022. Rob Dial
In this episode Paul talks about Heart Coherence and how one's heart coherence can be effectively measured on a device called Heart Math (Inner Balance app). Some of what is discussed includes
- What is Heart Coherence (ie, state of alignment between the heart, mind, emotions and physical systems of the body) and how Heart Math can be a very effective meditation device.
- What is Heart Math and how it serves to deepen people's connection with the heart of others on a global scale.
- How to use a Heart Math and the three steps to follow during a Heart Math session. ie, Placing hand on the heart and focusing onf heart-focused breathing, focussing on a heart based feeling and radiating the renewing feeling to oneself and to others.
- how the heart is a source of guidance and wisdom and how it sends information to the brain.
- what is heart rate variability and its importance to our health.
- the magnetic field of the heart and how our nervous system can detect the magnetic field of others around us.
References1. Heart Math.com, 2023. Hearth math Inc.
2. Add Heart Facilitator, Heart Math, 2022, Quantum Intech.Inc.
In this episode Paul talks about the power our words have and how the words we speak can have power and project positive energy or have no power and project negative energy to the world. Some other things that will be discussed are
- how our words are an affirmation of our innermost thoughts.
- the power of using "I", language which is an important protocol in Complete Men's meetings and other power words used to show respect to each man eg, "Aho".
- the importance of going into any situation with positive energy and a positive mindset and how this will likely be projected with your words.
- the power of affirmations and the importance of using them on a daily basis.
- being conscious and self-aware of the words we speak and the importance of using powerful words and not negative ones.
- two powerful words ie, "I am" and how we finish this sentence is the exact truth one creates for themselves.
- the importance of choosing words wisely and lovingly and speaking from a place of love.
References1. Jonathon Borge, “40 positive affirmations to add to your daily rotation”, Oprah Daily, 2021
2. The Mindset Mentor podcast, Rob Dial, 2022.
3. Katherine Hurst, “The Power of Words, how a single word can impact your life”. The Law of Attraction.com, 2023
In this episode Paul talks about the power our words have and how the words we speak can have power and project positive energy or have no power and project negative energy to the world. Some other things that will be discussed are
- how our words are an affirmation of our innermost thoughts.
- the power of using "I", language which is an important protocol in Complete Men's meetings and other power words used to show respect to each man eg, "Aho".
- the importance of going into any situation with positive energy and a positive mindset and how this will likely be projected with your words.
- the power of affirmations and the importance of using them on a daily basis.
- being conscious and self-aware of the words we speak and the importance of using powerful words and not negative ones.
- two powerful words ie, "I am" and how we finish this sentence is the exact truth one creates for themselves.
- the importance of choosing words wisely and lovingly and speaking from a place of love.
In this episode Paul discusses the important topic of shame and how it can mean different things to different people. Also discuss the following
- some examples of shameful beliefs and how it can hide one's lonliness, heartbreak, grief, sadness, sorrow, helplessness.
- core shame and how one can become addicted to it for many years and how it can develop.
- The difference between shame and guilt.
- The difference between toxic shame and healthy shame.
- activities one can do to address their feelings of shame.
- other ways in which we can heal our shame eg, be willing to accept that others feelings and behaviour have nothing to do with us and not take their behaviour personally, writing a letter to yourself and drawing up a timeline of events that brought shame or were difficult times in your life.
- importance of developing self-compassion and be willing to feel your authentic feelings.
References1. Encountering You Podcast with Laura Williams
2. Margaret Paul PhD “Why do we feel shame and how to conquer it.” Inner Bonding, huffingtonpost.com, 2011
3. Hugh Van Cuylenburg, Resilience Project, “Let go. It is time for us to let go of shame, expectations and our addiction to social media”. Penguin Random House Australia, 2021.
In this episode Paul talks about why people stay in their own comfort zone and how it causes complacency, stagnation and steals one's potential. Also focus on the importance of challenging oneself to get out of their comfort zone and the benefits such as
- increase in tolerance for the discomfort and becoming desensitized over time.
- increase in confidence in taking on new challenges and facing new, difficult situations.
- help achieve one's goals.
- retain positive emotions and minimize negative ones.
- follow one's curiosity
Paul also discusses some helpful tips in how to get out of one's comfort zone and take on new challenges and grow as an individual.
References
1. The Mindset Mentor podcast, 2022 Rob Dial and Kast Media.
2. Verywellmind.com, “How to get comfortable being uncomfortable” by Arlin Cuncic, 2022
3. Collective Campus.com “ten companies that failed to innovate, resulting in business failure “by Frances Goh on Enterprise Innovation. Frances Goh.
4. On Purpose Podcast with Jay Shetty “3 ways to get out of your comfort zone and 3 ways to challenge yourself this week”, 2022
In this episode I explore the topic of rejection, what it is and why it can hurt. When have you felt rejected in your life and how did it make it you feel? Some examples of being rejected include
- not being successful in the job you applied for and so much desired.
- being rejected romantically
- someone ignoring a message you sent
- not receiving invitation to an event.
- not getting a promotion you feel you greatly deserved.
I also discuss what rejection really means and the fear rejection can create and how some people are more sensitive to rejection than others (eg, rejection sensitive dysphoria).
I also provide some tips one may find helpful in managing rejection.
The Complete Men Foundation is based on the Gold Coast, and provides weekly mens' groups, and also deliver workshops, individual support and programs for men to engage in as well as related personal growth activities. For any man interested in attending please go to our website completemen.org.au or phone 0478 508 155.
References for this episode.
1. The Mindset Mentor podcast, 2023 Rob Dial and Kast Media.
2. Healthline.com “10 tips for overcoming your fear of rejection”, Timothy J.Legge PhD, 2019.
3. Cleveland clinic.org, 2022. “Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.”
In this very first episode Paul talks about the topic of procrastination and how many of us choose to stay in our comfort zone and find it so difficult to initiate tasks. Paul will discuss
- What is procrastination?
- Where and why many people procrastinate.
- Dangers of procrastination.
- Some tips on how to stop procrastinating.