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Episode 228: My Adult Child Says I Traumatized Them: What Should I Do?

When your adult child says you traumatized them, it can feel like a judgment on your entire history as a parent. You may feel confused, defensive, ashamed, angry, or desperate to explain what really happened.

But the word trauma does not automatically mean you were an abusive parent or that everything you did was wrong. Your adult child may be trying to describe a painful event, a repeated family pattern, or years of feeling unheard, criticized, emotionally unsafe, or unable to be themselves.

In this episode, Tina Gosney explains how to respond when your adult child says they experienced childhood trauma. You will learn how to listen without immediately defending yourself, how to understand the difference between big-T trauma and little-t trauma, and how your own childhood experiences may affect the way you hear your child’s concerns.

This episode is for parents who are asking questions such as:

“Did I traumatize my child?”

“Why does my adult child blame me for their problems?”

“What should I say when my adult child criticizes their childhood?”

“Can I repair the relationship with my adult child?”

“How do I listen without accepting all the blame?”

Why you should listen

This conversation can become a turning point in your relationship. How you respond may either reinforce your adult child’s belief that their experience does not matter, or show them that you are willing to understand, grow, and create a healthier relationship moving forward.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Why the word trauma feels so painful to parents and why it can trigger guilt, shame, anger, grief, and defensiveness.
• The difference between big-T trauma and little-t trauma, including how repeated criticism, emotional tension, conflict, or feeling unheard can affect a child over time.
• What your adult child may actually mean when they say their childhood was traumatic or that you caused emotional harm.
• What to say when your adult child brings up childhood trauma, including how to acknowledge their experience without immediately arguing, explaining, or taking responsibility for everything.
• How to begin repairing the parent-adult child relationship through curiosity, emotional steadiness, changed behavior, and a willingness to listen.

You do not have to agree with every detail of your adult child’s story in order to take their pain seriously. You also do not have to erase the love, effort, and sacrifices you gave as a parent.

The goal is not to decide whose version of the past is correct. The goal is to understand what your adult child is carrying and decide how you want to show up in the relationship now.

When one person in a family becomes more grounded, less defensive, and more emotionally steady, the entire family relationship can begin to change.

Listen now to learn how to respond when your adult child says you traumatized them, and how this difficult conversation may become an opportunity for healing and relationship repair.

If this episode helps you better understand your adult child, share it with another parent who may need support.

Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship With Your Adult Child

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 227: My Adult Child Says I'm Gaslighting Them. What Do I Do?

When your adult child says you are gaslighting them, it can feel like an accusation against your entire character as a parent.

You may immediately want to defend yourself, explain what really happened, or prove that your memory is accurate. But when both people are fighting to establish the “correct” version of the past, the conversation often becomes more painful and more disconnected.

In this episode, Tina explains what gaslighting actually means, why the term is sometimes used too broadly, and what your adult child may be trying to communicate underneath the accusation. You will learn how to take their experience seriously without agreeing that you intentionally manipulated them or surrendering your own memory of what happened.

This episode will help you move out of shame, fear, and defensiveness so you can respond with greater steadiness and curiosity.

You will learn:

• Why being accused of gaslighting can feel like a threat to your identity as a loving parent
• The difference between deliberate gaslighting and two people remembering the same event differently
• What your adult child may really mean when they say they feel gaslighted or unheard
• What to say in the moment instead of defending every detail or shutting down
• How to acknowledge your adult child’s experience while still holding onto your own perspective

You do not have to accept an inaccurate label in order to listen well. You also do not have to prove your child wrong before the relationship can move forward.

Two people can love each other deeply and still remember the past differently. What matters most is whether both experiences can be heard without turning the conversation into a battle over who is right.

Share this episode with another parent who may be struggling to understand a painful conversation with their adult child.

Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship With Your Adult Child

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 226: My Adult Child Said I was Toxic. What Do I Do With That?

Hearing your adult child describe you, your parenting, or your family as “toxic” can feel like a complete rejection of who you are. You may immediately want to defend yourself, explain your intentions, or prove that their version of the past is wrong.

But the way you respond in that moment can either deepen the distance or create an opening for greater understanding.

In this episode, Tina explains what your adult child may actually be trying to communicate when they use therapy words like “toxic.” She explores how parents can take their child’s pain seriously without accepting an unfair label or collapsing into guilt and shame.

You will learn how to stay grounded during painful conversations, listen for the experience underneath the accusation, and begin rebuilding trust through curiosity, empathy, and consistent behavior.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Why being called a toxic parent feels like an attack on your entire identity
• What your adult child may mean when they say their childhood or family environment was toxic
• How defensiveness can unintentionally reinforce the concerns your child is trying to express
• What to say when you want to understand your adult child without agreeing with every detail
• How changed behavior, emotional safety, and respectful communication can help repair a strained parent-adult child relationship

Being called toxic does not automatically mean you are a bad parent. It may mean there is a painful gap between what you intended and what your adult child experienced. That gap can be explored, understood, and sometimes repaired.

You do not have to argue your way out of your child’s pain. You can learn to stay steady, ask better questions, acknowledge the impact, and allow your actions over time to show that the relationship can become different.

Share this episode with another parent of an adult child who is struggling with family conflict, emotional distance, estrangement, or painful accusations and needs help knowing how to respond.

Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship With Your Adult Child

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 225: What Does It Mean When Your Adult Child Says You Don’t Respect Their Boundaries?

Has your adult child ever told you that you crossed a boundary or that you do not respect their boundaries and left you feeling confused, hurt, or defensive?

Many parents hear the word “boundary” as an accusation. You may wonder how your questions, advice, concern, or attempts to stay involved could be interpreted as disrespectful. You love your child and want a close relationship, so being told that your behavior is creating distance can feel deeply painful.

In this episode of Coaching Your Family Relationships, Tina explains what adult children may actually mean when they talk about boundaries. She explores the difference between boundaries, preferences, ultimatums, trust issues, and attempts to control another person. She also explains why therapy language can sometimes be used inaccurately while still pointing to a real relationship concern.

You will learn how to respond when your adult child says you crossed a boundary without immediately defending yourself, arguing about their wording, or shutting down the conversation. Tina offers practical communication tools to help parents become more curious, listen for the need underneath the accusation, and rebuild trust through consistent changes.

This episode is especially important for parents navigating conflict, emotional distance, family estrangement, or difficult communication with an adult son or daughter. Respecting boundaries does not mean agreeing with everything your child says. It means learning how to take their experience seriously while staying grounded in your own values and emotional maturity.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What boundaries with adult children really are and how they differ from preferences, rules, ultimatums, and control.
• Why your adult child may experience repeated advice, personal questions, unannounced visits, or comments about their choices as boundary violations.
• How to manage defensiveness and regulate your nervous system before responding to a painful accusation.
• What to say when your adult child tells you that they do not feel heard, respected, accepted, or emotionally safe.
• How small, consistent behavior changes can rebuild trust and strengthen the parent and adult child relationship over time.

The goal is not to become a perfect parent or accept every interpretation your adult child offers. The goal is to slow down, become curious, and understand what your child may be trying to communicate about the relationship.

A conversation about boundaries does not always mean your adult child is rejecting you. It may be an invitation to create a healthier adult relationship built on mutual respect, clearer communication, emotional safety, and trust.

Share this episode with a parent who feels confused or hurt by conversations about boundaries with their adult child.

Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship With Your Adult Child

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 224 - Why Adult Children Go No Contact: Understanding Family Estrangement, with Dr. Rin Reczek

Are you wondering why your adult child went no contact, pulled away, or says they need space from the family? This episode will help you understand family estrangement without getting stuck in blame, shame, or panic.

Family estrangement is one of the most painful and misunderstood experiences in parent-adult child relationships. Whether your adult child has stopped responding, set firm boundaries, gone low contact, or completely cut off communication, the grief can feel overwhelming. Parents are often left asking, “What happened?” “What did I miss?” and “Is repair still possible?”

In this episode, I talk with sociologist Dr. Rin Reczek about their book, Families We Lose: A New Explanation for Family Estrangement. Dr. Reczek offers a new way to understand why adult children go no contact and why family relationships come apart.

Instead of looking only at blame, bad behavior, or one painful event, Dr. Reczek explains family estrangement as part of a larger shift in how people understand family, obligation, safety, accountability, boundaries, and connection.

This episode is important because so many parents and adult children are struggling with family cutoff, emotional distance, low contact, or no contact, but they often do not have the language to talk about what is really happening. Parents may feel rejected, confused, heartbroken, or blindsided. Adult children may feel dismissed, pressured, controlled, or unsafe.

When parents and adult children are operating from different expectations of what family should be, the relationship can become even more painful.

This conversation will help you step out of blame and into curiosity. It will help you better understand the deeper family patterns underneath estrangement, and it may give you a new way to think about reconnecting with adult children, repairing family relationships, respecting boundaries, and creating healthier adult family relationships.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why adult children go no contact, and why family estrangement is not always about one argument, one event, or one person being “wrong.”
• What Dr. Reczek means by “compulsory kinship,” or the belief that family should stay together no matter what.
• How “democratized kinship” shifts the focus toward accountability, mutual respect, emotional safety, and meaningful connection.
• Why parents and adult children may experience the same family relationship in very different ways.
• How no contact, low contact, and family cutoff can create grief, confusion, and ambiguous loss for parents, adult children, siblings, and grandparents.
• Why repairing the relationship with your adult child usually requires more than love, good intentions, or a desire to get back to how things used to be.
• How understanding the deeper culture clash around family can help you respond with more maturity, compassion, and clarity.

Family estrangement is tender, complicated, and often heartbreaking. But understanding why families become estranged gives us more choices in how we respond, how we grieve, and how we approach the possibility of repair.

If this episode helped you, or if you know someone who is struggling with an estranged adult child, family distance, no contact, or painful family conflict, please share it with them. This may be exactly what they need to hear today.

The Families We Lose: A New Explanation for Family Estrangement, by Rin Reczek

Click here to buy your copy on Amazon

Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship With Your Adult Child

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 223: When Someone You Love Hurts You: How to Regain Emotional Stability

Have you ever been doing something completely ordinary—loading the dishwasher, making dinner, driving home—and then one text, one comment, one moment of distance hits you so hard it feels like the air leaves your body? That’s the “emotional gut punch.” And if you’re in one of those moments right now, this episode is here to help you steady yourself—without minimizing your pain and without turning it into a story that ruins you.

In this episode, Tina covers:

When someone you love hurts you, there’s the pain of what happened… and then there’s the suffering we accidentally add on top of it. Tina breaks down the difference between the first arrow and the second arrow—the moment that hurts vs. the meaning we attach to it afterward.

You’ll hear real-life examples (like seeing an adult child post about “toxic family members” or being told not to come for a visit) and how quickly our brains can turn heartbreak into shame, fear, and isolation.

5 takeaways you’ll get from listening

1. You’ll understand why it hurts so much.
   The pain is real—but suffering often comes from the story your mind builds around the pain (the spiraling “what does this mean about me?” thoughts).
2. You’ll learn “the second arrow” and how to stop driving it in deeper.
   The first arrow is the event; the second arrow is the self-judgment and fear that piles on instantly—often without you noticing.
3. You’ll be able to tell the difference between clean pain and dirty pain.
   Clean pain is honest grief and disappointment. Dirty pain is the added shame/blame story (“This is my fault. I’m not enough.”) that keeps you stuck.
4. You’ll get a simple, grounding 3-step reset for the moment the gut punch hits.
   Tina walks you through: Name it → Notice the story → Let the clean pain move (so you can breathe again and come back to yourself).
5. You’ll be reminded not to isolate—because isolation is where the suffering grows.
   These moments make us want to withdraw, but they’re often the moments we most need safe support and steady presence.

Resources mentioned

• Free resource: Heal the Heart: Five Steps to Reconnect with Your Adult Child
• Want deeper support? Tina invites you to reach out and set up a connection call.

If you’re in the middle of a gut punch moment, take a breath. This pain doesn’t mean you’re broken—and it doesn’t get to define your future. You can learn to stay with what’s true without turning it into a story that destroys your sense of worth.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 222: When Love Feels Like Pressure: The Hidden Conflict in Helping Too Much

What if the very thing you are doing to keep the relationship close is the thing creating more distance?

As parents, we often help because we love. We give advice, offer solutions, send resources, ask questions, check in, and try to prevent our adult children from making painful mistakes. But in parent and adult child relationships, helping too much can start to feel like pressure, control, or a lack of trust.

In this episode, Tina Gosney, Family Conflict Coach and Family Life Educator, continues the conversation on hidden conflict by looking at the kind of conflict that does not look like conflict at all. It looks like love. It looks like concern. It looks like “I’m just trying to help.” But underneath, it may be creating tension, emotional distance, resentment, or shutdown.

Listen to this episode if you have ever thought:

“I’m only trying to help.”
“I can see what they can’t see.”
“Why do they push me away when I care so much?”
“I feel anxious when they don’t text back.”
“I don’t know how to stop fixing, overthinking, or shutting down.”

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How helping too much can create hidden conflict in your relationship with your adult child, even when your intentions are loving.
• Why unsolicited advice can feel like pressure and cause your adult child to pull away or become defensive.
• How emotional dependence shows up in family relationships, especially when your peace depends on your child’s mood, choices, or response.
• Why shutting down feels protective but creates more disconnection over time.
• How to pause before fixing, avoiding, overthinking, or reacting so you can choose how you want to show up.

If you feel stuck between wanting to stay close and not knowing how to stop pushing, fixing, or worrying, this episode will help you see the pattern more clearly. You cannot force connection, control your adult child, or eliminate discomfort from the relationship. But you can learn to stay grounded inside the discomfort, and that is where real change begins.

Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship With Your Adult Child

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 221 - Hidden Conflict: Why Your Family Feels Tense Even When No One is Fighting

What if your family relationship feels tense, distant, or uncomfortable, but you can’t point to one big argument or obvious conflict?

Many parents assume that conflict means yelling, fighting, blow-ups, or harsh words. But some of the most painful parent and adult child relationships are not loud at all. They are quiet. They look polite on the outside, but underneath there is avoidance, walking on eggshells, resentment, emotional distance, and the sense that something is not quite right.

In this episode, Tina Gosney, Family Conflict Coach and Family Life Educator, explains how hidden conflict can slowly erode family relationships, even when no one is openly fighting. You’ll learn why “keeping the peace” is not always the same as real peace, and why avoiding hard conversations can create more disconnection over time.

Listen to this episode if you have ever thought:

“I have to be careful what I say.”
“We just don’t talk about that anymore.”
“Everything seems fine, but it doesn’t feel fine.”
“I miss how close we used to be.”
“I don’t know how to repair the distance with my adult child.”

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why conflict is not just fighting and how quiet conflict can show up as distance, tension, avoidance, or emotional disconnection.
• How “keeping things light” can become a form of avoidance in parent and adult child relationships.
• Why walking on eggshells is not the same as connection, even when it helps prevent an argument in the moment.
• How unresolved family conflict creates emotional static, making conversations feel harder, less honest, and less connected.
• The first step toward repairing hidden conflict without forcing a hard conversation before you are ready.

If your relationship with your adult child feels strained, confusing, or distant, this episode will help you begin to name what is happening beneath the surface. Awareness is the first step toward creating a calmer, more honest, and more connected family relationship.

Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship With Your Adult Child

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 220: Grandfatherhood and Legacy: How to Be Involved Without Interfering

What kind of presence do you bring into your family?

When you walk into a room, do people relax, or do they brace? Do your adult children feel supported by you, or do they feel like they have to manage your reactions? Do your grandchildren experience you as a steady, loving presence, or are they sometimes pulled into tension that really belongs between the adults?

In this Father’s Day episode of Coaching Your Family Relationships, we’re continuing our two-part series on fathers in the second half of life. This episode focuses on grandfathers, family legacy, and the powerful role a grandfather can play in the emotional health of the family system.

Grandfathers matter deeply. Your relationship with your grandchildren can shape their emotional wellbeing, their sense of family identity, and the patterns they carry forward. But grandfatherhood also comes with a delicate balance. How do you stay close without overstepping? How do you support your adult children without interfering in their parenting? How do you become involved in a way that strengthens the family instead of creating more tension?

Using a family systems lens, we’ll talk about the grandfather’s role in the three-generation family system. We’ll look at triangulation, emotional patterns, estrangement, repair, and what it means to leave a legacy of connection instead of control.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why grandfathers have a powerful influence on the emotional wellbeing of grandchildren and the larger family system
• How to be an involved grandfather without interfering, undermining parents, or creating family conflict
• What triangulation looks like in real life, especially when grandchildren or in-laws get pulled into adult tension
• Why repairing the direct relationship with your adult child matters more than trying to access the family through the grandchildren
• How to think about your third-act legacy and the emotional patterns you want to stop passing forward

This episode is for grandfathers who want to matter in the lives of their children and grandchildren, but who also want to show up with more wisdom, humility, and emotional maturity. It is also for adult children, spouses, and family members who are trying to understand the complex role grandfathers play in family relationships.

Your legacy is not only what you provide, what you teach, or what you leave behind. Your legacy is also the emotional climate you create. It is the way people feel in your presence. It is the patterns you choose to keep and the patterns you finally decide to set down.

You do not have to be a perfect father or grandfather to make a difference. You can begin by becoming more grounded, more honest, and more willing to work on the direct relationships in front of you.

Because when a grandfather becomes more emotionally present, less reactive, and more connected, that change does not stop with him. It echoes through the generations that come after him.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 219: Fatherhood After Your Kids Grow Up: Who Are You to Them Now?

What happens to fatherhood after your children grow up?

When your adult child has a hard day, who do they call? Do they call you, or do they turn to their mom, a friend, a sibling, or someone else? If the honest answer hurts a little, this episode is for you.

In this Father’s Day episode of Coaching Your Family Relationships, we’re talking about the second half of fatherhood. When your kids are young, your role is clearer. You protect, provide, teach, correct, and guide. But when your children become adults, the old fatherhood rulebook stops working. Your adult child does not need you in the same way anymore, but that does not mean they do not need you at all.

This episode is for fathers of adult children who want a stronger relationship, but are not always sure how to show up now. We’ll talk about emotional distance between fathers and adult children, why some dads keep trying to fix and advise, why others quietly step back, and how a father can become more emotionally present without becoming intrusive.

Using a family systems lens, we’ll explore how fathers can build connection with adult children by becoming more grounded, differentiated, and emotionally available. This is not about blaming fathers or asking men to become someone they are not. It is about helping fathers understand their role in the family system now, so they can create more trust, more openness, and more real connection.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

· Why fatherhood changes when your children become adults, and why many dads feel unsure about where they fit

· How the “old rulebook” of parenting can create distance when adult children need respect, autonomy, and connection

· What differentiation means in real life, and how a father can stay grounded when his adult child makes choices he does not understand or agree with

· How emotional patterns get passed from one generation to the next, and why it is never too late to change what you are passing forward

· Three practical ways fathers can begin rebuilding connection with adult children this week without forcing a big conversation

The second half of fatherhood asks something different from you than the first half did. It asks for less fixing and more presence. Less control and more curiosity. Less emotional distance and more willingness to be known as a real person, not just as “Dad.”

If you are a father of adult children, or if you love a father who wants to build a better relationship with his grown kids, this episode will help you think differently about connection, legacy, and what it means to keep showing up.

You do not have to do this perfectly. You just have to be willing to become more aware, more grounded, and more present. Because when one person in a family becomes more steady, the whole relationship system can begin to shift.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 218: How to Focus on What You Can Control When Family Relationships Are Hard

When a relationship is strained, it’s so tempting to think: If I say it the right way… if I do enough… if I stay kind enough… then they’ll finally respond the way I need them to. But the truth is, you can’t control what someone else thinks, feels, or does. What you can control is how you show up, and that’s where change begins.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How Stephen R. Covey’s “Circles” framework helps you sort what you’re worried about (concern) from what you can impact (influence) and what you can actually choose (control).
• The difference between control and influence and why confusing the two often leads to frustration, resentment, and burnout.
• Why blame, of yourself or others, quietly steals your power and what to do instead when you feel stuck.
• What “your inputs” really are in a struggling relationship and how to check whether you’re expecting something different than what you’re planting.
• A simple journaling question to help you reclaim steadiness and integrity: “Who am I being in the relationship, and how is that in my control?”

When you focus on your circle of control, your thoughts, feelings, actions, and relational inputs, you stop chasing the impossible job of managing someone else’s inner world. You may not be able to control outcomes, but you can keep planting what aligns with who you want to be. Over time, that steadiness changes you, and it often shifts the relationship more than force ever could.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 127 - Lazy or Stuck? Why Your Adult Child Avoids Life and How to Respond

If you’re staring at a “failure to launch” situation and thinking, “Are they lazy… or are they stuck?” — you’re not alone. When an adult child avoids responsibility, avoids work, or keeps waiting for rescue, it can feel confusing and infuriating. But in family systems terms, this pattern is often under-functioning, and it usually shows up alongside over-functioning parenting in ways neither side can see clearly from the inside.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why “lazy” is usually the wrong label — and what under-functioning adult children are actually doing underneath the surface.
• How “stop rescuing without cutting off” really works (so you can stop enabling adult children without turning cold or abandoning).
• The failure to launch family dynamic: how an over-functioning/under-functioning pattern quietly forms and then becomes the normal in a family.
• Why your adult child won’t take responsibility can be tied to self-efficacy (and how repeated rescuing can unintentionally weaken it).
• What it looks like when an adult child avoids life in different ways (stalled launch, capable avoider, delegator, emotional under-functioning, and more).

If your adult child avoids, stalls, or leans on you in ways that keep you both stuck, this episode will help you name the pattern, understand it through a family systems lens, and start making shifts that reduce enabling and increase real responsibility. You don’t have to do this perfectly — but you can learn how to respond differently, and when one person becomes more grounded, the whole relationship system can begin to heal.

Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship With Your Adult Child

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 216 - Boundaries with Your Adult Child: Stepping Back When You're Used to Being Needed

If you're a parent of an adult child and you're still worrying, managing, advising, and rescuing — this episode is for you. Today we're diving deep into the over-functioning parent dynamic: what it is, why it happens, and what it's really costing both you and your child. Drawing on Bowen Family Systems and attachment research, we unpack the four hidden drivers of parental over-functioning — from distrust and anxiety to identity and fear — and explore what it actually looks like to prepare your child for the road, instead of trying to clear it for them.

Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship With Your Adult Child

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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When Mother’s Day Isn’t Happy: Naming the Grief No One Sees

Mother’s Day is everywhere. Flowers at the grocery store, brunch photos, smiling cards, and you are doing your best to hold it together while something inside you feels heavy.
Maybe your adult child is distant. Maybe the relationship is strained. Maybe they will text, but it will not feel like connection. Maybe there is silence.
And the hardest part? You might not even feel like you are “allowed” to feel what you feel because your situation does not fit the neat version of Mother’s Day everyone expects.

In this episode, we talk about the quiet, complicated reality many mothers carry in May, and we give it the dignity it deserves.

What you’ll learn in this episode

• Why Mother’s Day grief can feel so isolating, especially when there is no “official” loss, but your heart knows something is missing
• The different types of Mother’s Day pain, and how to recognize your story without minimizing it
• How to hold love and disappointment at the same time without turning it into shame or self-blame
• What is really happening when your relationship with your child feels far away, even if you are still in contact
• A grounded way to move through Mother’s Day with more steadiness, self-respect, and emotional clarity

If you are navigating estrangement, tension, distance, role changes, or just an ache you cannot quite name, this conversation is for you.

Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship With Your Adult Child

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 214: When Your Adult Child Chooses Their Spouse Over You: How to Stay Grounded

Part 5 in the Series: How To Deal with Your Adult Child's Difficult Spouse

What if the goal was never to fix your family… but to become steady inside it?

If you’ve been walking on eggshells with your adult child, feeling pulled between self-blame, defensiveness, and powerlessness, this episode brings you to the final stage: growth.

But not the kind of growth that depends on your child changing, their spouse calming down, or the relationship suddenly becoming easy.

This is about something deeper. More sustainable.

This is about becoming the calm center in an anxious family system.

In this episode, you’ll learn what it actually means to practice differentiation, how to stop being pulled into emotional reactivity, and how to respond to your adult child from a place of grounded, values-based connection—even when things are still hard.

Because healing in family relationships doesn’t start with them.

It starts with how you show up.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• How to define true growth in family relationships (and why it has nothing to do with outcomes you can’t control)
• What differentiation in family systems really looks like in real-life interactions with your adult child
• Why anxious family systems stay stuck—and how one grounded parent can begin to shift the pattern
• How to separate your self-worth from your child’s behavior, reactions, or their spouse’s perceptions
• A simple, practical tool—the Values Pause—to help you respond with clarity, steadiness, and emotional maturity in hard moments

This episode walks you through the final stage of the emotional journey many parents face when navigating adult child estrangement, conflict, or tension with a difficult spouse.

If you’ve ever felt like:

• “No matter what I do, it’s never the right thing”
• “I just want things to feel normal again”
• “I don’t know how to show up without making it worse”

You are not alone—and you are not stuck.

There is a way to stay connected without losing yourself.

There is a way to be loving without overfunctioning.

There is a way to become a safe, steady presence in your family—even if nothing else changes right away.

Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship With Your Adult Child

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 213 - You Can't Fix Your Adult Child's Marriage: When You Feel Powerless, part 4 of the series about your adult child's difficult spouse.

If you’ve tried everything—rewriting texts, walking on eggshells, apologizing for things you’re not sure you did—and the relationship still feels strained, this episode is for you. We talk about what powerlessness really is, why shame and grief often come with it, and how to shift from trying to control outcomes to holding steady influence.

What we cover

• Why powerlessness isn’t weakness—it’s your nervous system realizing: my effort does not equal my outcome
• The shame story (“good parents don’t give up”) and why it’s incomplete
• The grief inside powerlessness (not just sadness—loss of the future you imagined)
• The difference between influence vs. control in an anxious family system
• A practical way to stay warm and connected without chasing them.

5 takeaways

• Powerlessness is a turning point, not a failure: it’s the moment you stop confusing love with control.
• Over-functioning and cutting off are both understandable reactions—but both tend to raise anxiety in the system.
• If you don’t grieve, you’ll try to control. Let grief be named so you don’t turn it into frantic fixing or shutdown.
• You can’t control them, but you can influence the system by becoming steadier “from the inside out.”
• Boundaries aren’t demands—they’re clarity about how you’ll participate, delivered with kindness.

If this episode helped you feel less alone, share it with a friend—especially a parent who’s quietly carrying the weight of powerlessness.

Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship With Your Adult Child

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 212: When Your Adult Child's Spouse is Controlling, Critical, or Cold - This is What's Actually Happening

Anxiety doesn't always look like worry and stress. In families, it will often look like controlling, critical, or cold behavior.

If you've been following this series, you've heard me talk about anxiety moving through the family system — rippling outward, affecting everyone it touches. But a lot of you have written to tell me the same thing: the person you're dealing with doesn't look anxious. They look difficult. They look controlling. They look like they're just choosing to make things hard.

This episode is the answer to that question. Before we go any further in this series, I want to give you the framework that everything else is built on — because once you understand what anxiety actually looks like in a family system, the behavior that's been confusing you will start to make a different kind of sense. Not excused. Not ignored. Just understood. And that changes how you respond.

5 things you'll learn in this episode

• Why "anxiety" in a family system rarely looks like worry or nervousness — and what it actually looks like in the real behaviors you're experiencing every day
• The difference between acute and chronic anxiety, and why chronic anxiety creates a tension that never quite goes away — even when nothing dramatic is happening
• The three channels anxiety travels through in a family system — and how to recognize which ones are operating in your family right now
• The five most common disguises anxiety wears in a difficult spouse: control, hypersensitivity, withdrawal, reassurance-seeking, and criticism — and the nervous system logic behind each one
• What the "identified patient" concept means, and how shifting from "who is causing this?" to "how do I change my part in this?" is the move that makes everything else possible

Do you now another parent who's been trying to make sense of a family situation that just doesn't add up? Send them this episode. Sometimes the right framework is all it takes to go from absorbing the confusion to finally seeing the pattern — and that clarity is worth sharing.

Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship With Your Adult Child

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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When Your Adult Child’s Spouse Misunderstands You: Stop Defending Yourself and Stay Calm (Part 3)

You read the message… and your chest tightens.

“That’s not what I meant.”

You start typing. Explaining. Replaying the moment in your head.

Because you weren’t trying to hurt anyone.
You were trying to be thoughtful.

And yet somehow, you’re the problem again.

If you’ve ever felt misunderstood, misread, or unfairly blamed by your adult child’s spouse, this episode is for you.

Because the instinct to defend yourself makes sense… but it’s often the very thing that keeps the cycle going.

In this episode, we’re talking about how to step out of defensiveness without becoming passive, shutting down, or losing connection with your child.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why feeling defensive is a natural response when you’re misunderstood—and why it gets amplified in parent–adult child relationships
• What’s really happening when your adult child’s spouse interprets your words negatively (and why it escalates so quickly)
• The hidden trap of over-explaining and why it often makes things worse instead of better
• How to take responsibility for what’s yours without taking on what isn’t
• A simple way to respond with calm, clarity, and self-respect—even in emotionally charged situations

You don’t have to prove your intentions to stay connected.

When you learn how to stay grounded instead of reactive, everything about the relationship begins to shift.

If this episode resonated with you, make sure to follow or subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss the rest of this 5-part series.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 210 - Stop Blaming Yourself: When Your Adult Child’s Spouse is Anxious or Difficult, part 2

Have you ever left a visit with your adult child and their spouse thinking, “Nothing big happened… so why do I feel awful?” If their spouse is tense, easily offended, or hard to read, many parents slide into a painful pattern: self-blame. You replay every sentence, analyze your tone, and try to “fix” yourself so the relationship won’t feel so fragile.

In Part 2 of this series (Parents + Adult Child + Difficult/Anxious Spouse), Tina breaks down why self-blame is a nervous-system response to family anxiety—and how to move from shame into clarity using a simple family-systems tool.

In this episode, we cover

• Why self-blame shows up when your adult child’s spouse brings anxiety into the family system
• The hidden reason self-blame feels “useful” (even though it hurts)
• How parents start walking on eggshells and over-functioning to keep the peace
• What to do when your adult child brings “feedback” that sends you spiraling
• How to stop carrying what was never yours to carry in the first place
• A practical reset tool: The Three Bins (Own / Influence / Release)

A powerful reminder

Self-blame is not the same as growth.
You can own what’s yours without erasing yourself.

When shame says: “You have to earn your way back,” steadiness says:
“Connection is built through consistency, not perfection.”

Next episode preview

Next, we move into Stage 3: Defensiveness—when self-blame gets exhausting and parents swing into defending, explaining, and trying to prove their intentions. Tina will show you how to step out of defend-and-explain and into calm leadership.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 209 - How to Deal with Your Adult Child's Difficult Spouse, part 1

When your adult child marries someone who brings a lot of anxiety into the family system, everything can start to feel… tense. Gatherings feel loaded. Conversations feel risky. And you can’t even explain why—you just know the vibe has changed.

In this episode, Tina walks parents through the Confusion stage: how anxiety spreads through families, why you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, and what you can do to stay calm, connected, and clear—without blaming, fixing, or taking the bait.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why one person’s anxiety can affect the entire family system
• How to spot anxiety patterns (even when no one is “doing anything wrong”)
• The hidden dynamic that pulls parents into the middle (triangles)
• Why over-functioning and over-explaining can accidentally increase tension
• A simple, practical shift that helps you stop “catching” the anxiety

If you’re in the confusion stage, you’re not crazy. Your nervous system is picking up a real shift. You don’t have to diagnose your adult child’s spouse to begin changing your part in the system.

When one parent becomes more grounded, the whole relationship system can begin to heal.

Coming next

Episode 2 moves into stage two: Self-Blame — why parents turn inward (“This must be my fault”) and how to step out of shame and into mature responsibility.

If this episode helped, share it with a parent friend who feels like they’re walking on eggshells around their adult child’s spouse. And be sure to follow the podcast so you don’t miss the next episode in the series.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 208: When “Good Behavior” Comes at a Cost: How Behavior-Focused Parenting Disconnects Families

Are you wondering why your adult child won’t talk to you—even though they always seemed like the “easy one” growing up?

In this episode, we explore how parenting that focuses only on behavior—obedience, manners, doing the “right” thing—can lead to emotional distance between parents and their adult children. This kind of behavior-focused parenting often results in adult children who perform in their relationships rather than show up authentically. They become experts at people-pleasing, suppressing their true feelings, and maintaining the image of being the “good” child… all to preserve attachment.

If you've been feeling rejected by your adult child, or like you're walking on eggshells around them, this episode will help you understand the root causes of that disconnect.

You’ll learn:

• Why focusing only on behavior creates emotional disconnection
• How attachment needs drive children to “perform” instead of express themselves
• The long-term effects of emotional suppression: defensiveness, stonewalling, performative gestures
• Why many adult children feel lost in their relationships—even when they’re “doing everything right”
• How to shift from behavior control to emotional connection
• What “differentiation of self” looks like in parent-adult child dynamics
• How to begin rebuilding trust and repairing relationships without needing to control the outcome

This is especially for you if you’ve searched for:

• “how to reconnect with an estranged adult child”
• “parenting adult children relationships”
• “why does my child hate me”
• “emotional healing for moms”
• “healing after estrangement”
• or “how to fix a broken relationship with adult child”

You’re not alone. Many parents find themselves here—and there is a way forward.

Ready to take the next step?
Visit tinagosney.com to learn how you can work with me as your family relationship coach. I help moms like you move from fear and confusion to clarity and connection in your relationship with your adult children.

Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship With Your Adult Child

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 207 - Family Reactivity and Anxiety: Why Your Relationship Feels Stuck

Do you feel stuck in painful cycles of family conflict and emotional reactions?
Maybe you feel like you are walking on eggshells around your child. Or maybe your emotions take over, and you say things you later wish you had handled differently.

In this episode of the Coaching Your Family Relationships Podcast, Tina Gosney, family conflict coach and family life educator, teaches you why reactivity is one of the biggest reasons family relationships stay tense, distant, or stuck, especially in parenting adult children relationships.

You will learn:

• What family reactivity really looks like and why it is not always yelling or anger
• How anxiety quietly fuels emotional distance from adult children
• Why patterns from your family of origin get repeated unless you interrupt them
• How one reactive person can set the emotional tone for the entire family
• The difference between reacting from anxiety and responding with emotional maturity

This conversation will help you understand why your adult child may be pulling away and what you can begin doing differently if you want to rebuild trust and create connection without control.

This episode is your guide to creating emotional freedom—even if your family feels stuck in chaos right now.

Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship With Your Adult Child

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 206: Parenting Adult Children Today with Catherine Hickem

Are you parenting your adult children with the same mindset you had when they were little? It might be time for a shift.

In this powerful episode, I'm joined by Catherine Hickem, a licensed therapist and founder of Parenting Adult Children Today. We talk about the emotional journey of parenting grown kids and why so many families are experiencing estrangement and emotional disconnection.

Catherine brings decades of experience, both professional and personal, to this conversation. She shares her own heartfelt story of healing with her father, the powerful restoration that took place between them, and why she believes it’s never too late to repair a family relationship.

We cover:

• Why parenting adult children requires a different mindset than parenting younger kids
• How unconscious expectations can damage connection
• The role of fear, disappointment, and emotional reactivity in estrangement
• What it really means to “do your own work” as a parent
• How emotional maturity and self-awareness create safety for adult children
• Practical first steps for shifting how you show up in your relationships

This episode is packed with wisdom and hope. If you’ve ever felt like you “did your best, but your child still won’t talk to you,” or you’re asking, “why won’t my adult child talk to me?” this conversation will speak directly to your heart.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• Catherine’s work at Parenting Adult Children Today
• The importance of emotional healing and growing self-awareness
• The idea that our success as parents isn’t how our children turn out, it’s how we show up

This is how you know if you need help with this…

• You’re walking on eggshells around your adult child
• You’re carrying guilt, fear, or confusion about what went wrong
• You feel like your adult child is pulling away and you don’t know why
• You want to reconnect but don’t know where to start
• You find yourself stuck in anxiety, reactivity, or resentment

Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship With Your Adult Child

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 205: How to Reconnect with an Estranged Adult Child by Calming Your Righting Reflex

What if the harder you try to help your adult child, the more they pull away?

In this episode, we talk about why your adult child won’t talk to you, how our child-centered parenting culture has increased anxiety for both parents and kids, and how that anxiety is now playing out in your relationship with your grown child.

Tina Gosney is a family conflict coach and family life educator. This episode is grounded in a research-based article from Family Process called “Balanced Parenting,” which uses Bowen Family Systems Theory to explain why so many loving parents feel responsible for their adult child’s emotions—and why that often backfires.

This episode is for you if:

• You’re wondering, “Why won’t my adult child talk to me?”
• You feel like “my adult child is pulling away” and you’re walking on eggshells
• You’ve searched for “how to reconnect with an estranged adult child” or “how to fix a broken relationship with adult child”
• You sometimes think, “I feel rejected by my adult child” and don’t know how to make it better
• You’re scared this might end in adult children cutting off parents, and you don’t want that to be your story

You’ll see how our anxious, child-focused culture trained you to over-function for your child’s emotions, and how that same pattern can make adult children feel watched, judged, or controlled.

What we cover:

• What the research on Balanced Parenting says about parents taking on too much emotional responsibility
• How the righting reflex (the urge to fix, correct, and rescue) shows up in parenting adult children relationships
• How anxiety gets passed around the family system when no one has learned to manage their own
• Why your adult child may shut down or distance themselves when you’re “only trying to help”
• A new, balanced, differentiation-based approach that helps you calm yourself instead of trying to manage your adult child

You’ll leave with a clearer understanding of the big picture—and some first steps to start changing your side of the pattern so real repair becomes possible.

Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship With Your Adult Child

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 204: Why Won’t My Adult Child Talk to Me? An Unhelpful Question

If you’re lying awake asking yourself, “Why won’t my adult child talk to me?” you are not alone.

This question sits at the heart of so much pain for parents navigating emotional distance from adult children. Many parents feel rejected, confused, and exhausted—especially when they’ve tried so hard to be loving, supportive, and present.

In this episode of the Coaching Your Family Relationships Podcast, Tina Gosney—family conflict coach and family life educator—offers a powerful reframe that helps parents move out of helplessness and into influence.

Instead of asking what’s wrong with my adult child, this episode explores what’s happening in the relationship pattern—and where parents actually have the ability to create change.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why a causality mindset (“What did I do wrong?” or “Why are they doing this to me?”) keeps parents stuck and powerless
• How relationship patterns develop quietly over time—and why conflict often reveals issues that were already there
• Why it’s so hard to listen to your adult child without taking everything personally
• How defensiveness, sadness, anger, resentment, and grief can shut down communication without you meaning to
• Why many adult children feel they’ve never had space to express their emotions—and why distance can feel like their only option
• How parents often seek reassurance from people who agree with them, and why validation alone doesn’t lead to relationship repair
• What it means to take being a good parent off the table and focus instead on understanding blind spots
• Why learning to separate your feelings from your adult child’s experience is essential for healing family relationships

This episode is especially helpful if you’re struggling with:

• Emotional distance from adult children
• Feeling like you’re walking on eggshells around your adult child
• Wondering “Why won’t my adult child talk to me?”
• Trying to understand adult children cutting off parents
• Wanting to reconnect with an estranged adult child without control or pressure

A different path forward

Relationship repair doesn’t start with fixing your adult child or convincing them to see you differently. It starts with learning how to slow down your own reactions, develop emotional maturity in parent–adult child dynamics, and respond with steadiness instead of urgency.

This episode offers compassionate clarity for parents who want to rebuild trust with their adult child while also finding peace within themselves.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 203: "Why Won't My Adult Child Talk to Me?" The False Comfort of AI Answers

If you’ve ever typed “why won’t my adult child talk to me” into Google at 2 a.m., hoping for clarity or comfort, you’re not alone. Many parents experiencing estrangement from adult children are turning to AI tools for support—hoping to find relief from the pain, confusion, and rejection they feel. But while AI might offer quick comfort, it can’t truly help you reconnect with an estranged adult child or heal the emotional wounds underneath the silence.

In this episode of the Coaching Your Family Relationships Podcast, I’m sharing why AI can’t replace human connection—especially when it comes to healing parent-child relationships. You'll learn why emotional healing for parents requires more than advice or reassurance. It requires courage, self-awareness, and the kind of human support that helps you regulate your nervous system, see your own contribution to the dynamic, and find compassion for yourself and your adult child.

We’ll walk through the story of Julia, a mother navigating the heartbreak of emotional distance from her daughter. Through her story, you’ll discover how to stop walking on eggshells and start understanding the bigger picture in your family. If you've ever said, “I feel rejected by my adult child,” this episode will speak directly to your heart—and give you tools to begin the healing process.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why turning to AI can create a false sense of connection
• How estrangement from adult children is rarely about one event
• The importance of seeing your own role in family dynamics and communication breakdowns
• Why your nervous system needs co-regulation from a real person
• How to rebuild trust with an adult child without control or shame

Whether you're dealing with emotional distance, complete cutoff, or just want to improve communication with your adult children, this conversation is for you. Healing after estrangement starts with you—and this episode will help you take the first step.

Subscribe to the show and get weekly insights on how to reconnect with your adult child with grace, strength, and emotional maturity.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 202: Don’t Wait Until They’re Gone: Seeing the Sacred in the People Right in Front of You

We save our kindest words for funerals. We use the good dishes for guests. We wait until life feels “special enough” to start really living. But what if every moment and every person were already sacred?

In this final episode of 2025, I share a deeply personal reflection on losing a close family member and what that experience taught me about honoring the people in our lives while they are still here. From the quiet halls of a hospital to the untouched purse on my shelf, I explore the everyday ways we delay love, gratitude, and appreciation.

This episode will challenge you to stop waiting. Stop waiting for people to change. Stop waiting for relationships to improve. Stop waiting for a better time. And start seeing the beauty in the ordinary. Because this is the moment. This is your life. And it’s worth living and loving right now.

You’ll hear about:

• The sacredness of ordinary moments in family relationships
• How grief wakes us up to what we’ve overlooked
• Why we hold back appreciation and how that blocks connection
• A story about a beautiful purse and how it became a metaphor for life
• Thought reversals that will shift how you see your adult children
• The power of reflecting on 2025 with grace, gratitude, and growth
• Two powerful quotes from Albert Einstein and Thomas Merton that tie it all together

This episode is especially for you if:

• You feel like you're walking on eggshells around your adult child
• You’ve been holding back love, waiting for your child to change
• You want to reconnect with an estranged or emotionally distant adult child
• You’re ready to stop waiting and start appreciating your family even if it’s messy

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 201: Powerful Lessons to Carry Into the New Year – Listener Favorites from 2025

Are you ready to start the new year with strength, clarity, and hope?

In this special compilation episode, I’m bringing you highlights from four of the most impactful and talked-about episodes of 2025. These conversations struck a deep chord with so many listeners—and if you’re like most of the parents I work with, they’ll speak directly to your heart too.

I'm Tina Gosney, family conflict coach and family life educator. If you're looking to repair your relationship with your adult child, find your emotional footing, and lead with grace instead of fear, you're in the right place.

Here’s what you’ll hear in today’s episode:

1. What Your Young Adult Child Wants You To Know (Ep. 178)
Want to know what your adult child isn’t saying out loud? In this clip, I share eye-opening insights into how young adults experience their relationship with their parents—and how you can build connection without control.

2. The Truth About Mom Guilt: Why You Feel It and How to Let it Go (Ep. 176)
Mom guilt doesn’t make you a better parent—it keeps you stuck. In this segment, I break down where guilt really comes from and how to start shifting into emotional freedom.

3. Raising Confident Kids Without Hovering – with Kepler Knott (Ep. 197)
Author Kepler Knott joined me to talk about raising resilient kids in a world that’s full of anxiety. Whether your kids are young or grown, this conversation will give you practical tools to stop over-functioning and start trusting your child’s inner wisdom.

4. When Family Hurts: Why Pulling Back Isn't Selfish—It's Part of Healing (Ep. 182)
When relationships are painful, taking space can feel wrong. But sometimes, stepping back is an act of love—for them and for yourself. This clip unpacks the why and how of healthy emotional distance in family life.

If you're new here, this is the perfect place to begin. And if you're a long-time listener, let this be your reminder that growth takes time, and you’re already on the path.

Click Here to download the free guide: 5 Steps to Take Before Trying to Repair the Relationship With Your Adult Child

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. This is the perfect spot where you can learn, connect and get targeted help to start moving your relationship with your adult child in a different direction. Set up a Connection Clarity Call with Tina to see if this is a good fit for you: CLICK HERE TO SET UP A CALL

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 200 - Why Gratitude Changes Everything: Abundance, Joy, and Healing in Family Life

In today’s episode of the Finding Joy Series, Tina dives deep into one of the most powerful emotional tools available to us—gratitude. This isn’t the shallow “write three things” gratitude list you’ve heard a thousand times. Instead, Tina teaches you how gratitude helps regulate your nervous system, rewires your brain’s negativity bias, and creates real emotional safety in your body.

Drawing from the Eight Pillars of Joy (Dalai Lama & Desmond Tutu), Tina explains why gratitude is a pillar of the heart, how your body stores emotional memory, and why without body-based learning, real change doesn’t stick.

You’ll learn:

1. Why your brain automatically focuses on the negative
2. How body learning works
3. How scarcity and “never enough” thinking becomes an energy center
4. Why you struggle to receive compliments or gratitude
5. How gratitude helps you shift your focus from lack to abundance
6. How to heal scarcity and regulate your nervous system using gratitude

Episode Takeaways* Gratitude helps you override the brain’s built-in negativity bias. * Receiving gratitude is an essential relational skill—not a bonus. * True change requires integrating mind + body, not relying on thought alone. * Consistent practice shifts your identity, confidence, and capacity for connection.

This Week’s ChallengeEvery day, write down three things you’re grateful for—and don’t repeat any items all week.
Then sit quietly for five minutes and feel gratitude in your body. Notice how it changes your emotional tone.

Download the Free Guide:
“The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama”
Holidays can stir up old patterns and emotions—this guide will help you stay grounded and respond with grace.

Grab your copy here: DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

Ready to learn how to manage your emotional reactions? Calm Core is your guide:

Being able to manage your emotional reactions to others is a vital step in repairing family relationships

CLICK HERE TO SEE CALM CORE

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 199: Two Communication Habits That Hurt Your Family Relationships

Are your efforts to connect actually driving disconnection?

In this episode of the Coaching Your Family Relationships Podcast, Tina Gosney, family conflict coach and family life educator, unpacks two common communication habits that silently sabotage family trust and closeness—Unbridled Self-Expression and Punishment and Retaliation.

These habits often come from a place of deep hurt or high expectations, but they rarely get you the connection you want. Instead, they keep you stuck in frustration, resentment, and miscommunication.

You’ll learn:

• Why “speaking your truth” might be crossing a boundary
• The emotional cost of spilling your feelings without filter
• How our childhood home dynamics still shape how we show up in adult relationships
• What passive-aggressive behavior really communicates—and why it never works
• How to stop letting your feelings control your words and actions
• A better way to respond when you feel hurt or disappointed by a family member

This episode is especially helpful if you've ever thought:

• “I don’t know how to talk to them anymore”
• “Everything I say gets taken the wrong way”
• “Why do I always end up being the bad guy?”

You don’t need to yell, shut down, or “teach them a lesson” to be heard. There is another way—and it starts with understanding what’s not working.

Download the Free Guide:
“The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama”
Holidays can stir up old patterns and emotions—this guide will help you stay grounded and respond with grace.

Grab your copy here: DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

Ready to learn how to manage your emotional reactions? Calm Core is your guide:

Being able to manage your emotional reactions to others is a vital step in repairing family relationships

CLICK HERE TO SEE CALM CORE

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 198 - Why Needing to Be Right and Staying in Control Are Hurting Your Relationship with Your Adult Child

"Why won’t my adult child talk to me?"
If you’ve found yourself asking that question, you're not alone—and this episode is for you.

I’m Tina Gosney, family conflict coach and family life educator. In this special rebroadcast, I’m bringing back two powerful episodes because the messages inside them are so important. They highlight two common, but losing strategies in family relationships: the need to be right and the need to stay in control.

These patterns show up in nearly every strained parent-adult child relationship, especially in families experiencing emotional distance, conflict, or even estrangement. If you're searching for how to reconnect with an estranged adult child or wondering how to fix a broken relationship with your adult child, this is where you start.

Most parents don’t realize they’re relying on these strategies—but they often show up as walking on eggshells, trying to get your child to understand your point of view, or needing them to see you in a certain way. These are protective strategies, but they push your child further away.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How the need to be right can damage trust and lead to long-term disconnection
• Why trying to control how your adult child behaves, thinks, or sees you often backfires
• What’s happening in your brain that keeps you repeating these ineffective patterns
• How to stop the cycle and start building a healthier, more respectful relationship

If you've been asking “why does my child hate me?” or feel like “my adult child is pulling away,” this episode will help you understand what’s really going on underneath those feelings—and what you can do about it.

This is about more than just improving communication. It’s about emotional maturity in parent-adult child dynamics, and learning to respond with grace and strength—so you can create connection without control.

Let’s Connect:
If you’re tired

Download the Free Guide:
“The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama”
Holidays can stir up old patterns and emotions—this guide will help you stay grounded and respond with grace.

Grab your copy here: DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

Ready to learn how to manage your emotional reactions? Calm Core is your guide:

Being able to manage your emotional reactions to others is a vital step in repairing family relationships

CLICK HERE TO SEE CALM CORE

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

View Details

Send us a text

Episode 197 - Raising Confident Kids Without Hovering, with Kepler Knott

“How do I help my child grow into a confident adult without controlling their every step?”

If you’ve ever asked yourself that question, you’re not alone.

Parenting today’s generation is a whole different ball game. With the rise of social media, constant comparison, digital overload, and the fear of letting our kids fail, it’s no wonder so many parents feel stuck between wanting to protect their children and wanting them to grow strong and resilient.

In this episode of the Coaching Your Family Relationships Podcast, I talk with Kepler Knott, author of Raising Tomorrow—a powerful new book that began as heartfelt letters to his daughters and grew into a guide for modern parenting. Together, we explore how to raise emotionally healthy kids in a world full of noise, pressure, and expectations.

You’ll hear us unpack:

• How to advise your kids without trying to control the outcome
• The emotional cost of constant comparison for both kids and parents
• Why technology can quietly erode confidence—and how to counter it
• The surprising way that service and giving build resilient, grounded kids
• Why modeling a growth mindset matters more than ever

This episode isn’t about perfect parenting. It’s about parenting with intention, humility, and heart.

Whether your child is pulling away emotionally, you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, or you simply want to build a more connected relationship, this conversation will give you fresh insight and practical tools to start showing up differently.

Learn more at https://www.raisingtomorrow.org/

Download the Free Guide:
“The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama”
Holidays can stir up old patterns and emotions—this guide will help you stay grounded and respond with grace.

Grab your copy here: DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

Ready to learn how to manage your emotional reactions? Calm Core is your guide:

Being able to manage your emotional reactions to others is a vital step in repairing family relationships

CLICK HERE TO SEE CALM CORE

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

View Details

Send us a text

Episode 196 - The Emotionally Immature Things We Say (And Why They Don’t Work)

Have you ever walked away from a conversation with your adult child and thought, “Why did I say that?” or “That did not go how I wanted”?

In this episode, Tina dives deep into the emotionally immature things we say—often without realizing it—and why those words don’t create the connection we long for. You’ll learn how your nervous system hijacks your responses, how to notice your patterns, and how to shift toward emotional maturity and real repair.

Whether you’ve said, “I’m not perfect, you know,” or “Just get over it and move on,” this episode will help you understand what’s underneath those words—and what to say instead.

What You'll Learn:

• Why emotional immaturity isn’t about being a “bad parent”—it’s about being in protection mode
• 7 common phrases that damage connection (and what they really mean)
• How your nervous system impacts your ability to stay calm and present
• Simple shifts to move from reactivity to responsibility in conversations

Why awareness—not perfection—is the first step to healing family relationships

Download the Free Guide:
“The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama”
Holidays can stir up old patterns and emotions—this guide will help you stay grounded and respond with grace.

Grab your copy here: DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

Ready to learn how to manage your emotional reactions? Calm Core is your guide:

Being able to manage your emotional reactions to others is a vital step in repairing family relationships

CLICK HERE TO SEE CALM CORE

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

View Details

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Episode 195 – 3 Shifts to Begin Solving Family Conflict – Even if You’re the Only One TryingIs your relationship with your adult child strained, tense, or completely shut down? You’re not alone—and you’re not powerless. In this episode, I’m giving you the three foundational shifts that begin to heal family conflict, even when the other person isn’t willing to engage. If you’ve been trying to fix the relationship by focusing on them, this episode is your invitation to turn inward and start creating change that lasts.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why looking at your own role in the conflict is a powerful first step
• How to manage your emotional reactions in the heat of the moment
• The impact of unspoken expectations on family dynamics
• Why discomfort is a sign you’re on the right path—and how to handle it with strength
• The ONE shift that opens the door to real healing in your relationship

Download the Free Guide:
“The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama”
Holidays can stir up old patterns and emotions—this guide will help you stay grounded and respond with grace.

Grab your copy here: DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

Ready to learn how to manage your emotional reactions? Calm Core is your guide:

Being able to manage your emotional reactions to others is a vital step in repairing family relationships

CLICK HERE TO SEE CALM CORE

Download the Free Guide:
“The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama”
Holidays can stir up old patterns and emotions—this guide will help you stay grounded and respond with grace.

Grab your copy here: DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

Ready to learn how to manage your emotional reactions? Calm Core is your guide:

Being able to manage your emotional reactions to others is a vital step in repairing family relationships

CLICK HERE TO SEE CALM CORE

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

View Details

Send us a text

Episode 194 - Do I Have to Choose Between Peace and Honest in My Family?

Have you ever felt stuck between keeping the peace in your family and being honest about how you really feel?

In this episode, Tina Gosney, Family Conflict Coach and Family Life Educator, explains why that “peace vs. honesty” tug-of-war is actually a false choice—and how you can show up with both calm and clarity in even the hardest conversations.

You’ll learn:

• Why fixing, pleasing, avoiding, or overreacting leaves you more disconnected
• The truth about the peace vs. honesty dilemma in family conflict
• A simple 3-step practice to ground yourself, calm your emotions, and respond with confidence
• A reflection prompt to help you notice your family role and begin shifting it

This conversation will help you stop walking on eggshells and start building stronger, healthier family relationships—without giving yourself away.

If this episode resonates with you, join Tina’s free live event happening this week: The Ultimate Virtual Event to End Family Disconnection and Rebuild Relationships That Last. You’ll go deeper into nervous system tools, clear communication practices, and strategies to rebuild connection with your loved ones.

Register here to save your spot

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

View Details

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Episode 193: From Victim to Empowered — How to Reclaim Agency and Accountability in Family Relationships

In this second part of my conversation with Emily Layton, we explore what happens after awareness and acceptance — the critical next steps of agency, accountability, and action. If you’ve ever felt stuck in a victim mindset or found yourself waiting for others to change before you feel better, this episode will challenge your thinking and inspire powerful change.

We talk about the difference between blame and responsibility, how generational patterns keep us stuck, and what it really takes to step into your personal power — especially when relationships feel strained or disconnected.

Emily shares stories, metaphors, and practical wisdom that make this conversation rich and relatable. You’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of how to move forward without perfection, embrace mistakes as part of growth, and reclaim your voice in your most important relationships.

If you missed Part 1 of this interview, be sure to go back and listen to Episode 192 first.

Meet My Guest: Emily Layton

Emily Layton has a Master's degree in Marriage, Family, and Human Development from BYU. She is a certified life coach who focuses on identity integration and personal restoration, centered in the gospel of Jesus Christ and informed by interpersonal neurobiology.

Download Emily’s FREE graphic:
Steps Up to the High Brain

Learn more about Emily’s work at:
www.GrowintheLight.com

Schedule a free 30-minute discovery call:
Email Emily directly at emily@growinthelight.com

Ready to stop the cycle of disconnection in your family?

Join me for my next free workshop:

End Family Disconnection and Rebuild Relationships that Last
Date: October 9, 2025
Sign up here: https://www.courageous-connections.com/end-family-disconnection-event_oct-2025

You’ll walk away with a clear roadmap to begin repairing and rebuilding the relationships that matter most.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

View Details

Send us a text

Episode 192 - From Triggered to Centered: Tools to Rewire Your Reactions and Restore Family Peace

Are you constantly walking on eggshells with your adult child?
Do you find yourself reacting instead of responding—and then beating yourself up later?

You’re not alone.

In this episode, I’m joined by growth coach Emily Layton, and we’re diving deep into how to move from survival mode to soulful connection. We explore what it means to operate from your “low brain” vs. your “high brain,” how fear hijacks your reactions, and the exact steps to regulate your nervous system so you can show up grounded, calm, and connected—even in the most emotionally charged moments.

If you’ve ever wondered:
“Why do I keep reacting this way?” or
“How do I stop the spiral and show up better in my family?”
—this episode will give you the framework you’ve been searching for.

Meet My Guest: Emily Layton

Emily Layton has a Master's degree in Marriage, Family, and Human Development from BYU. She is a certified life coach who focuses on identity integration and personal restoration, centered in the gospel of Jesus Christ and informed by interpersonal neurobiology.

Download Emily’s FREE graphic:
Steps Up to the High Brain

Learn more about Emily’s work at:
www.GrowintheLight.com

Schedule a free 30-minute discovery call:
Email Emily directly at emily@growinthelight.com

Ready to stop the cycle of disconnection in your family?

Join me for my next free workshop:

End Family Disconnection and Rebuild Relationships that Last
Date: October 9, 2025
Sign up here: https://www.courageous-connections.com/end-family-disconnection-event_oct-2025

You’ll walk away with a clear roadmap to begin repairing and rebuilding the relationships that matter most.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

View Details

Send us a text

Episode 191 - When Conflict or Silence Feels Like Love: What Fighting and Avoidance Say About Your Family

Is your family stuck in conflict—either yelling and arguing or avoiding everything in silence? In this episode, family relationship coach Tina Gosney explains how conflict styles shape marriage, parenting, and your relationship with adult children—and how to move from destructive patterns to constructive conflict and emotional safety.

In this episode of Coaching Your Family Relationships, Tina Gosney, Family Life Educator and Family Relationship Coach, breaks down the hidden conflict styles that shape your marriage, your parenting, and your relationship with your family.

You’ll discover:

• Why yelling, arguing, or “unfiltered honesty” can feel like love and connection in some families
• Why silence, sweeping things under the rug, or avoiding tough conversations can feel like safety in others
• How destructive conflict, conflict avoidance, and constructive conflict each shape your family relationships
• What happens when highly religious families label conflict as “sinful” and shut it down
• How parents—whether raising kids or relating to adult children—set the emotional tone for the whole family
• Why fighting doesn’t always mean connection, and silence doesn’t always mean peace
• Practical steps to create emotional safety, better communication, and genuine connection at home

Whether your home has been marked by explosive arguments or cold silences, this episode will help you understand your conflict style and begin practicing constructive conflict that leads to healing, intimacy, and lasting connection.

Join Tina Gosney’s live workshop on October 9th: End Family Disconnection and Rebuild Relationships that Last. Learn how to change the emotional climate of your family—even if no one else changes first. CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

View Details

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Episode 190: Why Taking Care of Yourself Isn't Selfish: How Wise Selfishness Strengthens Family Relationships

Is taking care of yourself selfish—or is it the very thing your family needs most?

In this episode of Coaching Your Family Relationships, Family Conflict Coach, Tina Gosney, explores the belief so many women were raised with: that self-care is wrong, selfish, or indulgent. Using the story of “Sarah,” a mom running on empty from years of self-sacrifice, Tina unpacks how burnout, resentment, and guilt often come from ignoring our own needs.

You’ll discover the concept of wise selfishness—a perspective that transforms guilt into grounded self-care, boundaries into deeper love, and personal well-being into stronger family connection.

If you’ve ever felt invisible, resentful, or guilty for saying no, this episode will help you see self-care in a new way: not as selfishness, but as the foundation of real connection.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why the belief that “taking care of yourself is selfish” quietly sabotages family relationships
• How wise selfishness (a Buddhist teaching) reframes self-care as essential to love and connection
• The generational programming that teaches women to disappear in service of others
• What happens when you suppress your needs—and why they eventually leak out as resentment or burnout
• Practical ways to start honoring your needs without losing closeness with your family

Resources & Next Steps

Ready to go deeper? Join Tina for a 1-day training on October 9: End Family Disconnection and Create Relationships That Last.
This isn’t just another workshop—it’s a space to reconnect with yourself and your family in powerful, practical way

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

View Details

Send us a text

Episode 189: Why Strategies Aren’t Enough to Heal Family Disconnection (And What Actually Works)

Have you tried everything to fix your family—but nothing seems to work?

You’ve read the books.
You’ve followed the scripts.
You’ve apologized, stayed calm, set boundaries…
And you’re still walking on eggshells.

In this episode, Tina Gosney, Family Relationship Coach and expert in Bowen Family Systems Theory, explains why strategies and tools—while helpful—are not enough to heal deep family disconnection. And more importantly, she reveals what actually creates lasting transformation.

You’ll learn:

• The emotional and cultural trends affecting today’s families (and why it’s not just you)
• The real reason communication tips and parenting tools fall short
• What inner transformation looks and feels like (and how others will experience it in you)
• Why differentiation of self is the missing key to restoring connection
• How to become the calm, grounded, emotionally mature leader your family needs

This is an eye-opening conversation for every mother who’s tried to “fix” things but feels stuck in guilt, grief, or confusion. If you’re ready to stop reacting and start leading—with compassion, confidence, and courage—this episode is your starting point.

Related Episodes:

179 - Break the Cycle and Lead Your Family with Calm, Loving Energy and Personal Integrity

187 – Stress – What Happens in Your Brain and Body and How to Stay Grounded

180 – How Your Nervous System Shapes Reactions, Relationships, and Resilience.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 188 - Creating Connection in Families Facing Suicide and Addiction

September is Suicide Awareness Month, and in this powerful episode, I’m joined by women I serve with on the board of Connection is the Cure, a nonprofit based in Boise, Idaho. Together, we share real, personal stories of what it’s like to love someone who is struggling—with addiction, with depression, and with thoughts of suicide.

This episode isn’t just about raising awareness—it’s about equipping you with compassion, perspective, and a deeper understanding of what connection really means, especially when it feels hard or uncomfortable.

Whether you’re a parent, sibling, or friend of someone who’s hurting—or you’re the one quietly suffering—this episode is for you.

What You’ll Learn:

• How suicide and addiction affect entire families, not just individuals
• Why connection—real, face-to-face, unconditional connection—is so vital
• What the acronym CARE means and how it helps build lasting, healing relationships
• How to be a safe place for someone who is struggling
• The truth about vulnerability, authenticity, and respecting people who are different from you

Resources Mentioned:

• Connection is the Cure – Our nonprofit dedicated to suicide and addiction awareness and prevention. Visit the website for upcoming events, donation info, and additional resources

If You’re Local to Boise:
We invite you to come to one of our community events. Bring a friend. Make a connection. Help us create a culture where no one has to suffer alone.

If You’re Struggling:
Please don’t do it alone. There are people who care. There are resources that can help. Start by reaching out—whether to a trusted friend, a support group, or a professional. Your life matters.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Stress: What Happens to Your Brain and Body (And How to Stay Grounded)

Have you ever felt hijacked by your emotions in the middle of a family conflict—and later wondered, “Why did I react that way?” In this episode, Tina Gosney breaks down the powerful brain and body science behind your stress response. You’ll learn what happens when your nervous system senses danger, why it’s so hard to stay calm in high-conflict situations, and how to ground yourself when you feel emotionally flooded.

Discover the truth behind fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses, what it means to experience an “amygdala hijack,” and how you can shift from reactivity to resilience with a few simple tools. This episode will help you normalize your stress response, reduce shame, and take your power back in emotionally charged family moments.

Episode Outline

Understanding the Stress Response
Tina explains how your nervous system responds to emotional threats the same way it does to physical danger, often without your awareness.

Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn: What They Look Like in Families
Learn how these stress responses show up in real life—especially during arguments, boundary violations, and family gatherings.

The Amygdala Hijack: Why You Can’t Think Clearly When You’re Triggered
Explore how your brain shifts from logical to reactive and what that means for your behavior in high-stakes moments.

Stress in the Body: Cortisol, Adrenaline, and Physical Symptoms
Understand the physical side effects of stress and why it’s not “all in your head.”

Tools to Calm Your Nervous System
Get 5 simple, science-backed tools to help you re-regulate your body and re-engage your thinking brain.

Related Episodes & Additional Resources

“When It Comes Out of Nowhere: Responding to Unexpected Family Hurt” – Learn how to handle emotional “gut punch” moments and move through pain without spiraling.
Bridge to Connection Program –

· Find out how to identify your triggers

· Discover how your brain shapes your relationships

· Gain the strength to stand strong in the emotional storm

· Move out of destructive conflict and into constructive conflict

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 186 - How to Rebuild Emotional Connection in Marriage with EFT Attachment Questions

Have you ever felt like you and your spouse are speaking different languages? Like no matter how hard you try, the two of you just keep missing each other?

You’re not alone. Many couples struggle with emotional disconnection—not because they don’t love each other, but because they don’t know how to answer the real questions underneath the conflict.

In this episode of the Coaching Your Family Relationships Podcast, I share:

• A personal story from my early marriage that shows how easy it is to miss each other emotionally.
• The three powerful attachment questions from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) that can completely shift the way you relate to your partner.
• Why “being there” for your spouse is about emotional presence—not just doing things for them.
• How we actually keep choosing our partner every single day—not just when we said “I do.”
• The truth about bids for connection—and why so many of us miss them.
• Practical steps you can take this week to show up differently and begin rebuilding emotional connection in your marriage.

Whether you’ve been married for five years or thirty-five, learning to answer these three questions—Are you there for me? Do I matter to you? Will you turn toward me?—can help you rebuild trust, deepen intimacy, and create a more secure bond with your spouse.

If you’ve been feeling distant, disconnected, or like you’re living more like roommates than partners, this episode will give you both insight and actionable steps to start creating change.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

• Episode 180 with Leah Davidson: How Your Nervous System Shapes Reactions, Relationships, and Resilience
• Episode 184 – How Attachment Styles Affect Your Partner Relationship – and Your Whole Family

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 186 – How to Set Boundaries without Damaging the Relationship

Most people think boundaries are about drawing a line in the sand to keep someone out. But when boundaries are used the wrong way, they can actually harm the very relationship you’re trying to protect—especially with your adult children.

In this popular episode, I’ll show you how to set boundaries that strengthen connection instead of shutting it down. Whether you’re navigating emotional distance from an adult child, feeling like you’re “walking on eggshells,” or wondering how to protect yourself without pushing someone away, this episode will give you a better way forward.

You’ll learn:

• Three common mistakes people make when setting boundaries—and why they backfire.
• The hidden beliefs that cause us to use boundaries ineffectively.
• How to protect yourself and stay open to connection.
• When creating distance is the healthiest and safest option.

If you’ve ever searched for:

• “How to reconnect with an estranged adult child”
• “Why won’t my adult child talk to me”
• “Setting boundaries with adult children”
  …this episode will help you understand why boundaries sometimes fail and what to do instead.

It’s time to stop using boundaries as walls and start using them as bridges—so you can protect your well-being and keep your most important relationships intact.

Related Episodes:Top of Form

Episode 142: How to Stop Polluting the Ecosystem of Your Relationship

Episode 130: Withdrawing from a Relationship- Losing Relationship Strategy #5

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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How secure is your emotional connection with your partner?

In this episode of the Coaching Your Family Relationships Podcast, with guest Thomas Westenholz, we explore how attachment styles impact the way we relate to our partners—and how those patterns ripple into the rest of our family system.

You’ll learn:

• What attachment theory reveals about the ways we connect, argue, withdraw, or pursue in our closest relationships
• How to recognize your own attachment style—and why that awareness is the key to building emotional safety
• How a distant or conflict-filled partner relationship can lead to tension, emotional distance, or even estrangement from adult children
• The basics of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and how it helps couples repair and rebuild trust
• Why healing the parent-partner bond is foundational for improving communication and connection across the entire family

Whether you’re feeling emotionally shut down, constantly on edge, or just wondering why your relationship feels “off,” this episode will give you language, insight, and real strategies to begin shifting the dynamics—without blame or shame.

Learn more about Thomas Westenholz:

Website

Podcast

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 183 - When It Comes Out of Nowhere: The Emotional Gut Punch

What do you do when a family conflict hits you out of nowhere and leaves you reeling? In this episode, Tina Gosney shares how to navigate the emotional “gut punch” of sudden family hurt. You'll learn why these moments are so disorienting, how our reactions can intensify suffering, and how to begin responding with clarity, courage, and self-compassion.

Tina explains the Buddhist teaching of the Two Arrows and the difference between clean pain and dirty pain—two powerful concepts that will change the way you process emotional pain. This episode is packed with validation, insight, and practical tools for anyone who feels blindsided by family conflict and doesn’t know how to move forward.

Episode Outline

The “Gut Punch” of Sudden Family Conflict
Tina introduces the metaphor of the emotional gut punch—how it feels, why it’s so destabilizing, and why it’s common in family relationships.

The Two Arrows: Pain vs. Suffering
Learn the Buddhist concept of the first and second arrow. Discover how we unintentionally add suffering to our pain by believing fearful or self-critical thoughts.

Clean Pain vs. Dirty Pain
Explore the difference between honest emotional pain and the reactive patterns that keep us stuck. Learn how to stay present with clean pain instead of spiraling into dirty pain.

How to Stay Grounded After the Gut Punch
Tina offers practical steps to care for yourself in the moment—naming the pain, noticing the second arrow, letting the emotions move, and finding compassion for yourself.

Why These Moments Can Become Turning Points
Hear how these painful moments, while difficult, can also be invitations to grow stronger, set new boundaries, and reconnect with your core self.

Related Episodes & Additional Resources

Download: Heal the Rift – 5 Steps to Reconnect with Your Adult Child – A free resource with simple, powerful steps to begin rebuilding connection

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

Set up a Connection Call with Tina: CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE CALL

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 182 - When Family Hurts: Why Pulling Back Isn't Selfish - It's Part of Healing

Episode Summary:
Have you ever stepped back from a family relationship because it just hurt too much to stay close? Maybe a child rejected your values, your faith, or even blamed you for their pain—and you’re left feeling broken, confused, and ashamed for needing space.

This episode is your reminder:
You are not broken.
You are not selfish.
And you are allowed to take care of yourself.

In this heart-to-heart conversation, I’m talking about why it hurts so much when family relationships feel strained, especially for women who’ve been taught to self-sacrifice in the name of love. I’ll walk you through the survival patterns we develop—like control, silence, and emotional distance—and show you how to begin healing from the inside out.

You’ll learn:

• Why your pain makes sense (and doesn’t make you weak)
• How to recognize and unlearn reactive patterns
• What healthy emotional space looks like—and why it’s necessary
• How your healing becomes a gift to future generations
• Why pulling back can be a loving choice, not a selfish one

If you're feeling stuck, lost, or unsure how to move forward with a family member—especially an adult child—this episode is for you.

Free Live Online Training: End Family Disconnection and Rebuild Relationships That Last

July 30 and 31, 2025

CLICK HERE TO RESERVE YOUR SEAT

Favorite Quote from the Episode:
"Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is step back and let the wound breathe. That’s not selfish—it’s wisdom."

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 181 - When Love Becomes Control: How Enmeshment Keeps Mothers Stuck

Have you ever felt like your child’s success—or failure—reflects your worth as a mother? If you’ve found yourself trying to fix their problems, steer their life, or hold it all together for them, this episode is for you.

In this powerful and vulnerable conversation, I share how many women—especially mothers—unknowingly lose themselves in their relationships. What looks like love and concern is often fear and control shaped by cultural, religious, and family systems.

You’ll learn:

• What enmeshment really is (and how it’s not the same as closeness)
• Why mothers tie their identity and worth to their children’s choices
• How your nervous system keeps pulling you toward old patterns
• Why we were never taught how to belong to ourselves and to others
• How to begin shifting toward healthy, grounded love through differentiation

This episode is not about blame. It’s about healing, clarity, and reclaiming your emotional freedom.

Join the Free Class: End Family Disconnection and Rebuild Relationships That Last
Learn how to stop walking on eggshells and start creating secure, respectful connection with your adult child—without losing yourself in the process.

Rate + Review the Podcast:

If this episode spoke to you, would you take a moment to rate and review the podcast? Your feedback helps others find these healing conversations.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 180: How Your Nervous System Shapes Reactions, Relationships, and Resilience with Leah Davidson

Have you ever wondered why pausing before reacting feels impossible for you? Why do your automatic responses keep hijacking your intentions, especially with the people you love most?

In this powerful conversation, Tina is joined by Leah Davidson, a Nervous System Resilience Coach, life coach, and Speech Language Pathologist with over 26 years working in traumatic brain injury. Leah explains how our nervous system is running the show behind the scenes, shaping our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and relationships – often without us realizing it.

Together, they explore:

• Why your nervous system reacts as if you’re in danger even when you’re safe
• How childhood experiences shape your nervous system’s lens today
• The connection between nervous system regulation, health, and emotional well-being
• Real-life examples of how dysregulation shows up in families and relationships
• How to build nervous system resilience so you can pause, respond thoughtfully, and heal intergenerational patterns

“Your nervous system is the lens through which you see the world. If that lens is cloudy, it affects everything you do.” – Leah Davidson

About Today’s Guest – Leah Davidson

Leah Davidson is a Nervous System Resilience Coach and Speech Language Pathologist specializing in brain health, neuroplasticity, emotional well-being, and trauma-informed coaching. She hosts the Building Resilience Podcast and offers Advanced Nervous System Resilience Training, a monthly membership called Connections, and her mini-membership Nervous System Journaling Club that uses journaling and doodling as regulation tools.

Explore Leah’s resources:

• Nervous System Journaling Club
• Connections Membership
• Advanced Nervous System Training
• Resilient Brilliance Journals on Amazon

Upcoming Training: END FAMILY DISCONNECTION AND REBUILD RELATIONSHIPS THAT LAST

To attend End Family Disconnection and Rebuild Relationships That Last, visit www.courageous-connections.com/training

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 179 - Break the Cycle and Lead Your Family with Calm, Loving Energy and Personal Integrity

You don’t have to repeat the patterns you were raised with.

Whether you're parenting toddlers, teens, or adult children, this powerful season opener will help you step into a new kind of leadership in your family—one rooted in calm, love, and integrity.

Tina Gosney shares why unprocessed emotions get acted out in parenting, how every family member is living their own version of the story, and what it really means to become the cycle-breaker in your family. This episode will shift the way you see your role—and help you start showing up as the parent your child needs and the person you want to be.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why staying calm as a parent is so hard—and why it matters
• What it means to “act out what you don’t process”
• How every family member experiences the same home differently
• The difference between reacting, fixing, and leading with love
• Why perfectionism blocks connection—and what to do instead
• How intergenerational trauma shows up in parenting
• The first steps to becoming the parent who breaks the cycle

Free Live Training – Save Your Seat Now!
Join Tina for a 2-day immersive experience:

End Family Disconnection and Create Relationships That Last

You’ll learn how to:

• Stay connected to yourself, even when parenting is hard
• Respond calmly and clearly in the most triggering moments
• Regulate your nervous system and stay grounded under pressure
• Build authentic, emotionally anchored relationships with your children
• End the cycle of walking on eggshells and begin creating real, lasting change

Register here: CLICK HERE TO REGISTER
Limited spots available!

Share this episode with a parent you love.
And if this spoke to you, leave a rating and review—it helps others find the support they need to become the kind of parent who truly leads the family with love.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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You're Not Broken - You're Becoming (Season 5 Trailer)

Welcome to a brand-new season of Coaching Your Family Relationships! In this kickoff episode, Tina shares a vulnerable personal story about spiraling after a difficult conversation with a loved one—and what it taught her about emotional resilience, identity, and the power of curiosity. You’ll learn what to expect this season, including expert guests and real conversations that go deeper than relationship “tips” and tackle the true root of family conflict: how you see yourself.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in a pattern with your family… if you’ve been trying to “fix” the relationship without feeling any better… or if you’re exhausted from trying harder and getting nowhere—this season will meet you right where you are.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• A true story about spiraling after a tough family moment—and what helped Tina come out of it
• Why relationship change doesn’t start with the other person—it starts with you
• The most common stories your brain tells you in conflict (and how wrong they usually are)
• What’s coming this season: guests, topics, and transformational insights
• Why identity—not strategy—is the secret to healing your hardest relationships
• How to get support through Tina’s free 2-day event

Coming Soon! Free 2-Day Event:

"End Family Disconnection and Rebuild Relationships That Last"
This live, immersive experience will give you tools, clarity, and hope to transform how you show up in your family—starting with YOU.
Registration link coming soon!

Don’t miss an episode! Be sure to follow the show and set your app to automatically download new episodes.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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What Your Young Adult Child Wants You to Know

If you've ever wondered what your young adult child is really thinking—but they're not telling you—this episode is for you. Tina Gosney sits down with two self-aware and deeply insightful young adults, Clarice Paulsen and Caleb Price, to give parents a rare look inside the young adult experience.

You’ll hear honest and vulnerable stories about how parents unintentionally make life harder for their young adult children—and what they actually need instead. Tina also shares reflections and guidance to help you respond with less fear, more compassion, and a stronger emotional foundation.

If you want to foster a deeper relationship with your young adult and learn how to be a soft place for them to land, this conversation is a must-listen.

Links to access the resources in this episode:

(Free Class) How to Heal the Relationship with Your Adult Child without Guilt, Anxiety, or Walking on Eggshells CLICK HERE

If you're tired of walking on eggshells or feeling heartbroken over the distance between you and your adult child or anyone else in your family, Bridge to Connection will show you a better way. In just eight short lessons, you'll learn powerful tools to stay grounded, respond with confidence, and create safety in your relationship—without needing your child to change first. You’ll walk away feeling empowered, hopeful, and deeply connected to the person you want to be, no matter what’s happening around you. CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE

Guest Name: Clarice Paulsen & Caleb Price
Bio:

• Clarice is a coach with Balanced Recovery Coaching, helping people reconnect with their purpose and healing.
• Caleb is a college coach and podcast host, guiding young adults to manage their minds and create confidence in college and beyond.

Links:

• Clarice: balancedrecovery.coach
• Caleb: calebpricecoaching.com

🎧 Rate & Review on Apple Podcasts – This is the most impactful way to support the show. Leave a review

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Break Free from Perfectionism: Overcome Shame, Embrace Imperfection & Boost Self-Esteem

Show Notes:
In this eye-opening episode, we dive deep into how perfectionism isn’t a virtue—it’s a crutch that keeps us hiding our true selves and trapped in shame. Discover why striving for perfection in your body, home, career, relationships, and more can lead to an unrelenting inner critic and prevent you from experiencing authentic connection.

What You’ll Learn:

• The Hidden Shame of Perfectionism:
  Explore the #1 shame triggers for women and men—from not being “perfect” in every aspect to being perceived as incapable or weak. Understand how these societal pressures foster deep-rooted shame and isolation.
• The Mask We Wear:
  Learn why perfectionism creates a false public self that distances us from our true identity, and how this disconnect affects our self-esteem and relationships.
• Inspiration from “The Greatest Showman”:
  Relive the emotional journey of Keala Settle in “This is Me” and see how embracing your scars and vulnerabilities can set you free. Her powerful performance reminds us that authenticity is the key to self-acceptance. The Greatest Showman Clip
• Breaking the Cycle:
  Understand why perfectionism is not about striving for excellence, but about avoiding criticism. Find out how shifting your mindset can lead to healthier personal growth, improved mental health, and deeper relationships.

Key Takeaways:

• Perfectionism is a societal trap that limits growth and authentic connection.
• Embracing imperfection is the first step toward reclaiming your self-worth.
• You have the power to challenge your inner critic and say, “I am enough, and I matter, despite…”
• Real change begins when you start valuing your internal worth over external approval.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Learn more about my Signature Coaching Program for Parents who want to strengthen their family relationships: Courageous Connections - CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 176- The Truth About Mom Guilt: Why You Feel It and How to Let It Go

Do you feel like you’ve failed as a mom? Is your relationship with your adult child strained, distant, or full of tension? You’re not alone. Many mothers struggle with mom guilt, shame, and emotional disconnection from their adult children. But healing is possible—starting with self-compassion and emotional resilience.

In this episode of Coaching Your Family Relationships, I share a personal story about a time I felt completely disconnected from my child and overwhelmed with guilt. I’ll walk you through how self-judgment keeps us stuck, how shame isolates us, and why emotional resilience is the key to repairing your relationship with your adult child.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

• How to stop judging yourself and start practicing self-compassion
• Why mom guilt and shame keep you from healing
• What emotional resilience is and how it helps you stay steady in family conflict
• A simple phrase to say when you feel overwhelmed: "I'm doing the best I can, and that's enough."

If you're feeling lost, stuck, or weighed down by guilt, this episode will help you take the first step toward healing your relationship with yourself—and with your child.

Listen Now and Take the Next Step

If you’re ready to heal the relationship with your adult child, I invite you to download my free online class.

Heal the Relationship with Your Adult Child

In this class, you’ll learn:

• Why your relationship with your child feels distant—and what you can do about it
• How to let go of guilt and shame so you stop blaming yourself
• The best way to communicate so you strengthen your connection instead of pushing them away

Click here to watch the class

Healing is possible, and it starts with you.

If this episode helped you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another mom who needs to hear this today.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 175 - Communicate While Minimizing Conflict - 7 Keys to Staying Grounded

If conversations with your adult child feel tense, emotionally draining, or full of misunderstandings, you’re not alone. In this episode of Your Family Relationships, I’ll walk you through seven key principles of grounded communication that will help you navigate difficult conversations without losing yourself in anxiety, guilt, or defensiveness.

You’ll hear real-life examples of how these principles show up in parent-adult child relationships, and I’ll hint at the solutions that can help you transform your interactions. These strategies will empower you to communicate with clarity, emotional balance, and integrity—no matter how your adult child responds.

Want to go deeper? Download my free class: Healing Your Relationship with Your Adult Child. It’s packed with practical tools to help you shift from conflict to connection.

Click here to access the free class!

Real-Life Examples Shared in This Episode: 🔹 What to do when your adult child says they don’t want to come to family events anymore 🔹 How to handle a conversation when your child blames you for past mistakes 🔹 The right way to respond when your adult child expresses anger or pulls away 🔹 How to set a boundary around financial support without damaging the relationship 🔹 Why rehashing past conflicts keeps you stuck—and what to do instead

Take the Next Step: Healing your relationship with your adult child starts with how you show up in conversations. If you’re ready to learn more about self-regulation, setting healthy boundaries, and communicating with confidence, download my free class: Healing Your Relationship with Your Adult Child without Guilt, Anxiety, and Walking on Eggshells

Get Instant Access to the Free Class Now

This class is designed to help you shift from frustration and heartbreak to a relationship built on mutual respect and connection. Don’t miss out!

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 174: How to Stop Walking on Eggshells and Create a Healthier Relationship

If you have ever felt like you are walking on eggshells around your adult child—constantly giving but not receiving respect in return—you are not alone. Setting boundaries is one of the most common struggles parents face, but many misunderstand what boundaries actually are. Boundaries are not about controlling your child or shutting them out; they are about creating a healthier, more balanced relationship based on mutual respect.

In this episode, we explore:

• What boundaries really are and what they are not
• How to communicate your boundaries with clarity and kindness
• Why setting boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first, but is essential for a stronger relationship
• Real-life examples of how to set and maintain boundaries in everyday situations
• The difference between boundaries, rules, and enmeshment, and why understanding these distinctions changes the way you relate to your child

By the end of this episode, you will have a clearer understanding of how to set effective, loving boundaries without guilt, anxiety, or fear of disconnection.

If you are ready to take this work deeper, join my free class, Heal Your Relationship with Your Adult Child Without Guilt, Anxiety, or Walking on Eggshells.

Join the Free Class: Heal Your Relationship with Your Adult Child

In this class, we will take a deeper look at the patterns that are keeping you stuck and how to start making real, lasting changes.

Registration is open now. Click here to sign up.

Host and Show Information:

Host: Tina Gosney, The Family Conflict Coach
About: Helping mothers navigate difficult relationships with their adult children
Website: tinagosney.com

If you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend who could benefit from it. Thanks for listening, and see you next time.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 173 - How to Rebuild a Relationship with Your Adult Child – 5 Essential Steps

Are you struggling to reconnect with your adult child? Do you feel like no matter what you do, there’s a growing emotional distance? In this episode of The Coaching Your Family Relationships Podcast, we’re exploring five essential steps that will help you mend your relationship and create a foundation for meaningful, lasting connection.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

Why reflecting on your relationship’s journey is the first step toward healing
How recognizing emotional triggers can help break unhealthy patterns
The importance of shifting from fixing to supporting your adult child
How communication style impacts your connection—and what to do differently
Why setting clear, loving boundaries fosters a stronger relationship

Why This Matters

Feeling disconnected from your child—no matter their age—can be heartbreaking. But relationships are not static; they evolve. And while disconnection may have happened over time, rebuilding your bond is absolutely possible when you take intentional steps forward.

Want the Full Step-by-Step Guide?

I’ve created a free training, Healing Your Heart: 5 Steps to Reconnect with Your Adult Child, that walks you through each of these steps in detail, with practical exercises you can start using today. Download it now - click here

Join My Class: Healing Your Relationship with Your Adult Child

If you’re ready to take this work even further, I invite you to my upcoming class where we dive deeper into these steps and give you the tools to repair and strengthen your relationship. Sign up today - click here

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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#172 The Power of Courage: Transforming Your Relationship with Your Family Relationships

Are you struggling with a difficult relationship with your adult child? Do you feel stuck in frustration, sadness, and confusion, unsure of how to reconnect? In this episode of The Coaching Your Family Relationships Podcast, host Tina Gosney explains why courage is the essential emotion needed to break free from painful relationship patterns and rebuild a meaningful connection.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

How emotions like grief, anger, and frustration keep you stuck in disconnection
Why courage is the turning point between feeling powerless and stepping into personal agency
The role of David Hawkins’ Map of Consciousness in transforming your relationships
How to move forward even when fear and doubt try to hold you back
Practical strategies to break unhealthy family cycles and create lasting change

Why This Matters:

If you continue operating from fear, blame, or resentment, your relationship with your adult child won’t improve. But when you embrace courage—even when it feels scary—you shift your energy and change the way you show up. This shift can open the door to healing and reconnection.

Join My Upcoming Class: "Heal Your Relationship with Your Adult Child"

Ready to take the first step? In my upcoming class, we’ll dive deeper into these concepts and explore actionable tools to help you communicate with confidence, manage your emotions, and build a stronger bond with your child.

Sign up now - Click Here

You don’t have to stay stuck. Courage is the key, and I’ll show you how to use it.

Subscribe & Review: If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe and leave a review! Your feedback helps more parents like you find support and guidance.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

View Details

Send us a text

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

View Details

Send us a text

In this powerful episode of Coaching Your Family Relationships, I sit down with Jodi Larae Cunningham, author of Estrangement Healing for Mothers and Daughters. Jodi shares her personal journey of mother-daughter estrangement and the deep generational patterns that influenced it. Through personal growth, responsibility, and emotional healing, she found a path to reconnection. We explore how family conflict often stems from unexamined patterns, the importance of differentiation, and the courage it takes to break free from unhealthy cycles.

Key Takeaways:

• How generational patterns contribute to family estrangement
• The role of differentiation in healing family relationships
• Why personal growth and taking responsibility are essential steps toward reconciliation
• How to navigate the pain of estrangement and find peace, even when relationships remain distant
• Practical tools for fostering safe, open communication between mothers and daughters

Resources & Links:
If you have a relationship with an adult child that is suffering, download this free guide:

5 Steps to Reconnect with Your Adult Child

You’ll begin healing the hurt you’re carrying, and your heart will feel lighter and more hopeful. You’ll begin taking a different road to building that precious relationship instead of walking on eggshells and riding the roller coaster of disconnection and frustration.

Click Here to Download the Guide

Jodi’s Website: Jodilaraecunningham.com

Link to Jodi’s Book: Estrangement: Healing for Mothers and Daughters

Rate & Review:
If you found this episode helpful, please take a moment to rate and review the podcast! Your feedback helps others find the show and heal their family relationships.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

View Details

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Episode 169: Navigating Estrangement: How to Reconnect with Your Adult Child

In this Ask Me Anything episode, Tina Gosney, The Family Conflict Coach, answers two heartfelt questions from parents struggling with estrangement from their adult children. These relationships are complex, emotional, and often deeply rooted in family patterns that span generations. Tina shares insights from Bowen Family Systems Theory and differentiation of self to help parents navigate these challenging dynamics.

If you're dealing with a strained relationship with your adult child, feeling confused, hurt, or even resentful, this episode is for you. Learn practical strategies for managing your emotions, breaking old family patterns, and fostering connection without pressure or urgency.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

• Why adult children distance themselves from parents and how unresolved emotional tension plays a role.
• The impact of generational family patterns on relationships.
• How to stay emotionally grounded and avoid reactive patterns.
• The difference between enmeshment, emotional cutoff, and healthy differentiation.
• Why healing happens on your child’s timeline, not yours.
• Practical steps to rebuild trust and create a safe space for reconnection.

Timestamps:
00:05 - Welcome to Coaching Your Family Relationships podcast
00:17 - Why estrangement between parents and adult children is becoming more common
02:34 - Free guide: 5 Steps to Reconnect with Your Adult Child (Get it in the show notes!)
03:53 - Question #1: Our daughter has set strong boundaries—how do we reconnect?
06:55 - Understanding emotional cutoff and generational family patterns
07:22 - Key questions to ask yourself before reaching out
10:46 - Question #2: My son’s girlfriend “stole” him from our family—how do I handle this?
12:15 - The role of differentiation in family relationships
15:33 - The power of small, pressure-free interactions in rebuilding trust
17:23 - Shifting your mindset: Why healing starts with YOU

Resources & Free Guide:
🎁 Download the Free Guide: 5 Steps to Reconnect with Your Adult Child
➡️ Click here to download

Subscribe & Review:
If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe and leave a review! Your support helps more parents find guidance and hope for healing their family relationships.

Connect with Tina:
🌎 Website: www.tinagosney.com
📩 Email: info@t

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 168: Why Family Drama Keeps Repeating – and How to Break the Cycle

Are you stuck in the same frustrating arguments with your adult child or other family members? In this episode, we uncover how automatic family patterns keep you trapped in unhealthy dynamics and show you how to break free. Learn how subconscious programming influences your reactions, why awareness is the first step toward change, and four powerful strategies to transform your relationships.

You’ll discover:

• Why family conflict patterns repeat across generations.
• How to wake up to automatic reactions and choose healthier responses.
• The key to managing emotions and staying grounded during difficult moments.
• Why developing your sense of self improves relationships with your adult child.

Ready to stop reacting out of fear and start responding with intention? Tune in to learn how small shifts can create lasting change.

If you have a relationship with an adult child that is suffering, download this free guide:

5 Steps to Reconnect with Your Adult Child

You’ll begin healing the hurt you’re carrying, and your heart will feel lighter and more hopeful. You’ll begin taking a different road to building that precious relationship instead of walking on eggshells and riding the roller coaster of disconnection and frustration.

Click Here to Download the Guide

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

View Details

Send us a text

Episode 167 – The Most Common Ways Families Handle Stress

Families are not a group of individuals living side by side – they are connected through the intricate web of relationships. When one person becomes stressed or anxious, it sends ripples through the entire family system. When this happens, we have typical patterns of managing that stress, and these patterns don’t solve the anxiety, it just passes from one family member to another.

This episode shows you the typical family patterns of managing stress, and how to begin breaking those patterns.

If you have a relationship with an adult child that is suffering, download this free guide:

5 Steps to Reconnect with Your Adult Child

You’ll begin healing the hurt you’re carrying, and your heart will feel lighter and more hopeful. You’ll begin taking a different road to building that precious relationship instead of walking on eggshells and riding the roller coaster of disconnection and frustration.

Click Here to Download the Guide

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

View Details

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Bonus Episode: Get to Know Your Host – Tina Gosney, Family Conflict Coach

Meet the host of the podcast, Tina Gosney, Family Conflict Coach. In this episode, you’ll hear a glimpse into my story and about why I decided to become a coach that focuses on family relationships.

At minute 14 you’ll hear about The Mother Tree – the oldest trees in the forest who help to stabilize and nourish younger trees when they are in stress.

For you to become your own version of The Mother Tree, You first have to build up your ability to be resilient, mentally healthy, know how to manage your own emotions, and know your own identity before you can support your children in doing these same things.

This is what I help my clients with – to become a Mother Tree that can build her own storage of wisdom and health so that she is ready to support her family in the healthiest way possible.

I have a few open spots for new clients. If this is the right time for you to explore coaching, let’s talk.

CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE CALL

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

View Details

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Episode 166 – Moving Through Family Conflict – Most Popular Episode of 2024

Conflict is inevitable if you belong to a family. It’s the price you pay for being close to other people – and we all have a need to be close to other people.

What you do with that conflict will either divide you further and weaken the family, or help you to know each other better and strengthen the family.

The most popular episodes of 2024 were – Moving Through Family Conflict, part 1 and part 2. Even though these episodes were just released a few weeks ago, I’ve combined them here in one episode to help you with the conflict that might be going on in your family.

Use these episodes to help you move through the conflict instead of getting stuck in it. Trust in the process and be patient while you wait for your family dynamics to begin shifting. This is not something that will change overnight, but with your consistent effort and determination to create something different, change will begin to happen.

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If you have a relationship with an adult child that is suffering, download this free guide:

5 Steps to Reconnect with Your Adult Child

You’ll begin healing the hurt you’re carrying, and your heart will feel lighter and more hopeful. You’ll begin taking a different road to building that precious relationship instead of walking on eggshells and riding the roller coaster of disconnection and frustration.

Click Here to Download the Guide

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It takes one person to begin changing unhealthy patterns. You can be the one.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

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Episode 165 – What’s in Your Control and What Isn't– Most Popular Episodes of 2024

Our family members are not people to be controlled, they are relationships to nurture.

You’re probably trying to control things that are not in your control. If you’re frustrated in your relationships, you are trying to control things that are not in your control. You don’t get to control what someone else thinks, feels, or does, even when you think you should be able to.

What is in your control? What you think, what you do with your feelings, and what actions you take.

When you’re able to let go of trying to control things that aren’t in your control, you’ll save yourself a lot of suffering.

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If you have a relationship with an adult child that is suffering, download this free guide:

5 Steps to Reconnect with Your Adult Child

You’ll begin healing the hurt you’re carrying, and your heart will feel lighter and more hopeful. You’ll begin taking a different road to building that precious relationship instead of walking on eggshells and riding the roller coaster of disconnection and frustration.

Click Here to Download the Guide

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It takes one person to begin changing unhealthy patterns. You can be the one.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

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#164 – Being Defensive is a Losing Strategy – Most Popular Episodes of 2024

It’s easy to see when someone else is getting defensive, but when we get defensive, it feels justified. Being defensive, no matter where it is coming from, will often begin a trajectory of downward spiral in a relationship.

The way your brain is interpreting what the other person is saying or doing will create a reaction in your body, especially when it is perceived that they are trying to hurt you. When you are aware of your own reactions, and you choose to respond with intention, you begin to have more freedom and less suffering in your life. And your relationships will be much less likely to spiral downward.

If you have difficult family members, or a difficult situation going on in your family right now, it’s easy to be anxious about what might happen when you all get together. That anxiety overtakes you and your peace during the holidays.

I’ve used this guide, and the process I walk you through and it has really helped me to feel more in charge of myself and my emotions. I feel more confident in myself and more forgiving of others and myself when I use it.

This guide will be your holiday lifesaver.

The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It takes one person to begin changing unhealthy patterns. You can be the one.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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#163 The Unseen Mental Load of the Holidays

The unseen mental load = all the behind-the-scenes thinking, planning, and worrying that goes into running a household—especially during the holidays.

Most of this unseen mental load falls on the shoulders of women, and this can lead to stress, overwhelm, burn-out, and resentment. It is easy to feel isolated and unappreciated when you are the one taking on the unseen mental load.

It doesn’t have to be this way. There is a different way to handle the holidays, and this episode will give you 4 things you can focus on instead.

If you have difficult family members, or a difficult situation going on in your family right now, it’s easy to be anxious about what might happen when you all get together. That anxiety overtake you and your peace during the holidays.

I’ve used this guide, and the process I walk you through and it has really helped me to feel more in charge of myself and my emotions. I feel more confident in myself and more forgiving of others and myself when I use it.

This guide will be your holiday lifesaver.

The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It takes one person to begin changing unhealthy patterns. You can be the one.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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#162 – Moving Through Family Conflict, part 2

When you’re in conflict with another person, that’s normal and should be expected. The way you handle that conflict is important and can either damage the relationship or strengthen it.

This episode goes into the tools of Differentiation and how we can use these tools to navigate conflict while strengthening ourselves and the relationship.

If you dream of a PEACEFUL holiday season with your family, but someone or something always throws you out of peace and into web of stress, this guide is for you.

Wouldn't it be nice if everyone would behave just the way you want them to?

It's time to stop wishing for a miracle, and deal with the reality of your family dynamics.

This guide will be your holiday lifesaver.

The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It takes one person to begin changing unhealthy patterns. You can be the one.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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161- Family ConflictConflict doesn’t have to be a dirty word and signify something is wrong with your family. It can be an opportunity to get to know each other better and create stronger bonds in your family. But, for that to happen, you need to know where to begin and what tools to use. This episode will help you to know where to begin.

Do your holiday family get-togethers get a little (or a lot) dramatic and difficult? If they do, you’re not alone. I’ve created a free pdf guide called:

The 3-Step Process to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

You can’t change your family members, but you can manage yourself around whatever happens. This guide will help you to feel more in control of your thoughts and emotions no matter what happens.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It takes one person to begin changing unhealthy patterns. You can be the one.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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#160 – Break Free from Negativity

Our brain is biased towards focusing on negative things. This is hardwired into each of us. If we leave our brain to go on default, we will be on a downward spiral, and that affects everything in our life.

Be intentional about seeing beyond the negative. The positive things are there, but you have to intentionally direct your brain towards those things.

Listen to this episode for 3 small things you can do each day that will help you to begin breaking free from the negativity bias of your brain.

Do your holiday family get-togethers get a little (or a lot) dramatic and difficult? If they do, you’re not alone. I’ve created a free pdf guide called:

The 3-Step Process to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

You can’t change your family members, but you can manage yourself around whatever happens. This guide will help you to feel more in control of your thoughts and emotions no matter what happens.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It takes one person to begin changing unhealthy patterns. You can be the one.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 159 - How to Ride the Waves of Life Without Drowning

We all get caught up in trying to arrange the people and situations in our lives just the way we want them to be so that we can be happy.

We will find ourselves trying to hold onto things that want and need to change and pushing away difficult situations we don’t want to have.

The true cycle of life is of expansion and contraction. Things we love come and go. Things we don’t love come and go. If we can learn to not get caught up requiring the circumstances of our life to be a certain way so that we can find happiness, we will have a much more peaceful life.

To help you begin to learn how to get out of the push/pull cycle, I’ve included a meditation in this podcast.

Meditation: minutes 16:17 – 25:40

Did you enjoy this meditation and want more of these? Email me at info@tinagosney.com and give me your feedback.

Do your holiday family get-togethers get a little (or a lot) dramatic and difficult? If they do, you’re not alone. I’ve created a free pdf guide called:

The 3-Step Process to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

You can’t change your family members, but you can manage yourself around whatever happens. This guide will help you to feel more in control of your thoughts and emotions no matter what happens.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It takes one person to begin changing unhealthy patterns. You can be the one.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 158 What is in your control. What is not in your control.

It’s very common for us to think that if we do certain things, we can control the way someone else thinks about us. And we think that if we do certain things, we can control their reaction to us.

Both of these things are not true. We don’t control anyone else’s thoughts, and regardless of what we do, we don’t control how anyone else treats us.

This episode will outline what is not in your control, what is in your control, and what is in your influence. Listen until the end for a journaling question that will help give you insight into what you are thinking is in your control that actually isn’t.

Do you want small, bite-sized relationship help in your inbox each week? Then sign up for my weekly email, Healing Connections.

Sign up for Healing Connections Here

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It takes one person to begin changing unhealthy patterns. You can be the one.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 157 - Giving Your Full Focus and Attention to Create Connection

Most people do not know how to give someone their full focus and attention. But, as David Augsburger says, “Being listened to is so close to being loved that most people cannot tell the difference."

Our fast-paced, instant gratification culture is shortening our attention spans and making it very difficult for us to know how to truly pay attention to someone or something long enough to create connections that are meaningful.

If you’re wanting to start giving your family more of your focus and attention, listen to this podcast for where to begin.

If you need help working on your focus and attention, or any other skill you’re learning about in this podcast, let’s connect. I’ll be releasing a new program to help parents heal the connections in their families later this year and those on my email list will be the first ones to know all the details. I send out emails each week that will help you get a new perspective on old problems.

Sign up for my email here

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 156 – How to Take a Time Out That Really Works

When you get emotionally flooded, that is a signal you need a time out!

This week’s episode outlines Terry Real’s 10 New Rules of Time Out

1. The time out is a circuit breaker

2. Take your time out from the “I” position.

3. Take distance responsibly.

4. Use the phrase “time out” or gesture the T signal with your hands.

5. Don’t let yourself get stopped.

6. Use check-ins at prescribed intervals.

7. Remember the goal.

8. Return in good faith.

9. Have a 24-hour moratorium on the original topic.

10. Know when, where, and how to get help.

Get some help from Tina

If you are feeling stuck, not sure how what you’re hearing on this podcast can work in your life and aren’t quite sure how to create that future vision for yourself, let’s talk. I offer a handful of free calls each month and they are snatched up quickly. Set up your free call today so you can feel better about what the future holds for you.

CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE CALL

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 155 - Respond to Your Family Members Intentionally, Don’t React from Automatic ProgrammingEveryone is capable of learning to control their reactions to other people and situations. No one needs to take on the identity of a person who can’t control themselves. Learning to manage your own responses to the world is a skill you can learn just like any other skill. It takes consistent effort over time. Learning to manage your own responses to others is your responsibility, not anyone else’s.

Get Bite-sized help in your inbox each week:

Click here to subscribe to Healing Connections - weekly emails from family relationship coach, Tina Gosney

Get some help from Tina

If you are feeling stuck, not sure how what you’re hearing on this podcast can work in your life and aren’t quite sure how to create that future vision for yourself, let’s talk. I offer a handful of free calls each month and they are snatched up quickly. Set up your free call today so you can feel better about what the future holds for you.

CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE CALL

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 154 – The One Decision That Will Change Everything

Big issues and problems can feel overwhelming and cause us to act with a lot of fear. Making decisions and acting from a feeling of overwhelm rarely leads to anything productive. So do something else instead. When you slow down and act intentionally, you might just see that there is one action, one decision that will affect everything else in the way you’re hoping it will go. What is that one decision for you? What is that one action that will affect everything else? Listen to this episode for a process to begin figuring that out.

Get some help from Tina

If you are feeling stuck, not sure how what you’re hearing on this podcast can work in your life and aren’t quite sure how to create that future vision for yourself, let’s talk. I offer a handful of free calls each month and they are snatched up quickly. Set up your free call today so you can feel better about what the future holds for you.

CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE CALL

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Send us a text

Episode 153 - The Benefits of Going Beyond a Surface Level Relationship
Close relationships are what make us happy – now and in the future. But they require effort and intention over time – sometimes over a long period of time. Listen to this episode to find out why you want to put in that time and effort, and a few things to focus on to get started.

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If you are feeling stuck, not sure how what you’re hearing on this podcast can work in your life and aren’t quite sure how to create that future vision for yourself, let’s talk. I offer a handful of free calls each month and they are snatched up quickly. Set up your free call today so you can feel better about what the future holds for you.

CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE CALL

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Send us a text

Episode 152 – Be an Agent in Your Family

Family relationships run on systems, and each family has its own system. One system many families use is to blame each other for how we act and react, and not take ownership of our own choices. My husband and I were stuck in this blame/blame system for years. And then we decided we wanted something more and we wanted to clean up our relationship so that we could move forward into a new type of system. When one person changes their input into the system, the entire system is forced into change.

When you take responsibility for yourself, you find more freedom. Being an agent in your own life is a simple concept, but not an easy one. Listen to this episode to see how you can begin to take responsibility for yourself and become an agent in your family.

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Get some help from Tina

If you are feeling stuck, not sure how what you’re hearing on this podcast can work in your life and aren’t quite sure how to create that future vision for yourself, let’s talk. I offer a handful of free calls each month and they are snatched up quickly. Set up your free call today so you can feel better about what the future holds for you.

CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE CALL

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Send us a Text Message.

Episode 151 - Your Relationships are Your Response-ability

If you’re like most people, when you’re struggling in a relationship, you fall into either blaming another person for how they are making you feel, or you’re trying to get them to be different so you can feel better. Maybe you’re doing both!

What if you didn’t have to do either, and instead of focusing on the other person, you’re focusing on yourself and your own responsibility for the thoughts you’re having and the emotions you’re experiencing. This is a radical idea! But this is also where you get your freedom.

You are here to be an agent in your own life, not a victim of your circumstances. You have the ability to choose to be reactive by default, or to respond intentionally. Once you take radical responsibility for yourself, you’ll see your relationships begin to change without doing anything else.

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Send us a Text Message.

Episode 150 Questions from Listeners about Establishing Healthy Boundaries

The questions asked in this episode were some of the questions asked in the Boundary Boot Camp held July 2024.

Questions asked in this episode:

1. I say YES to things I don’t want to do, and I don’t really have time for. I feel so guilty saying NO, that I usually just say YES. Is this a boundary issue? What’s going on here?

2. I’m really nervous about boundaries. I’m having such a hard time feeling really connected in my family right now. Will these boundaries make me even more disconnected? Isn’t that the opposite of what I want?

3. My daughter is 24 and lives on her own, but she can’t keep a job longer than a few months. She either gets fired or she quits, and then she doesn’t have money to pay for rent, her car, or even food. So, she asks my husband and me for money. I’m tired of this pattern. It seems like we are supporting her for being immature. This pattern has gone on for a couple of years now, and I don’t see it changing unless we do something. Do we not give her money? I don’t want her to starve or be homeless, but we can’t keep this going long-term.

4. This isn’t technically a “family problem” but maybe you can help me. There’s a woman I go to church with who hates me. I have hardly ever even had a conversation with her, but right from the very beginning of us going to the same church, it was like she just decided to hate me. She tells other people how terrible I am. (I know because I’ve heard some of the things she’s said). I don’t know how to get her to stop hating me because I don’t even know what I did to make her hate me in the first place. I’m lost here. Do you have any advice how to handle this situation?

It’s not too late to get access to Boundary Boot Camp! Catch the replay and work through this class on your own time. Learn how to establish a Protective Boundary and a Containing Boundary so that you can begin repairing your family relationships.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT BOUNDARY BOOT CAMP

Do you have a question you want me to answer on the podcast? Get your question answered on the next Ask Me Anything episode coming soon!

CLICK HERE TO ASK A QUESTION

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Send us a Text Message.

Episode 149 – The One Virtue You Can Cultivate That Will Change the Foundation of Your Relationships

When you interact with your family or in your marriage, do you operate under the assumption that the other person is doing the best they know how to do? The assumption that they love you and don’t mean you harm? What if you did? What would be different?

This re-release addresses the virtue of Generosity of Spirit – assuming the best in yourself and others. Working on cultivating the virtue of Generosity has made a huge difference in how I think about myself and others, and everything is created first in thought before it is created in the world.

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Send us a Text Message.

Episode 148 - Perfectionism Damages Our Self-esteem and Cripples Our Growth

We live in a society that tells us it is not OK to make mistakes or show weakness. Perfectionism is our society’s favorite flaw and is celebrated, but it is really damaging our self-esteem because we will always make mistakes - we’re human! No wonder we have a common mindset of “not being good enough.” Perfectionism will have us hiding ourselves, not really letting people know the true versions of ourselves, leaving us unsupported and lonely.

Let’s begin challenging that unhealthy mindset and start looking at our weaknesses and mistakes as stepping stones instead of millstones.

The Greatest Showman Clip

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Self-esteem Boot Camp

Your self-image affects the way you see the ENTIRE WORLD! Come to this boot camp and let’s take a look at how you’re creating some painful ways of seeing your own value.

We’re also going to talk about that mean inner critic who wants to tell you all the ways you aren’t measuring up. Learn how to talk to that critic more than you listen to it. You’ll leave this boot camp with some simple tools you can use every single day.

You are invaluable and your value never changes with your outside circumstances. You can start internalizing that infinite value.

August 6, 7, 8, @ 10:30 am MDT

Sign up for the Self-Esteem Boot Camp

If you are feeling stuck, not sure how what you’re hearing on this podcast can work in your life and aren’t quite sure how to create that future vision for yourself, let’s talk. I offer a handful of free calls each month and they are snatched up quickly. Set up your free call today so you can feel better about what the future holds for you.

CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE CALL

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Send us a Text Message.

Episode 147 – Why Your Self-esteem Has Such a Big Impact on Your Relationships

The way YOU feel about YOU affects the way you treat other people and the way you show up in your relationships. Your worth is not something you create, it’s something you discover. But, unless you know some tools to manage your brain, you will keep judging yourself and others, and your worth will be a moving target. When your worth is a moving target, your relationships are too.

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Join the Self-esteem Boot Camp!

We’ll start talking back to that Inner Critic that is telling you you’re not good enough. You’ll come out of this boot camp with some REAL tools that make a REAL difference in how you feel about yourself.

For more information: CLICK HERE

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Want more help?

If you are feeling stuck, not sure how what you’re hearing on this podcast can work in your life and aren’t quite sure how to create that future vision for yourself, let’s talk. I offer a handful of free calls each month and they are snatched up quickly. Set up your free call today so you can feel better about what the future holds for you.

CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE CALL

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Send us a Text Message.

Episode 146 - How to Connect in a Healthier Way with Your Family Through Proper Boundaries

This episode is not about keeping people out of your life, it’s about how to keep them in your life in a healthier way. Our culture today is more divisive than ever, and that is showing up in our homes. More adult children and teenagers are cutting their parents out of their life than ever before. Even if you think this would never happen to you, think again. Cancel culture is real. One of the ways to combat this is to learn better relationship skills, and that can begin with you. Your family relationships are systems. Your contribution is one input into the system. Change your input, and you can put pressure on the whole system to change.

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Come work with me on your protecting and connecting boundaries at the Boundary Boot Camp!

You’ll be learning some new relationship tools, but more than that, we’ll start putting them into practice. Learning tools is one skill, knowing how to use that tool is an entirely different skill. And that’s what we’ll be doing at this boot camp. Come and work with like-minded people who are all trying to have a positive influence on their families.

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE BOUNDARY BOOT CAMP HERE

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If you are feeling stuck, not sure how what you’re hearing on this podcast can work in your life and aren’t quite sure how to create that future vision for yourself, let’s talk. I offer a handful of free calls each month and they are snatched up quickly. Set up your free call today so you can feel better about what the future holds for you.

CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE CALL

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Send us a Text Message.

Episode #145 Moving Out of Co-dependency and Into a More Mature Relationship

Co-dependency and enmeshment are common ways of relating to each other in our families. Most families value same-ness. We want to be the same as the other people in our families in order to feel like we belong and are accepted. Until something in our life pressures a change and we’re not the same anymore. It’s easy to feel like you don’t fit in or belong. But, this is actually good news. You now have an opportunity to leave co-dependence and move into a more mature relationship. This episode outlines some of the foundational skills required to develop Differentiation – the ability to mature in our relationships.

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Boundary Boot Camp

How do you react when someone says something hurtful to you? How much self-control do you have when you are feeling angry and want to let loose on someone else?

In the Boundary Boot Camp, we’re going to take a deep dive into how to allow other people into our lives in a healthier way. And we’re going to dive into how to manage ourselves and our own internal boundaries about what we let out into the world.

This boot camp isn’t about shutting people out of your life. It’s about learning how to let others in, while staying protected within yourself.

July 16, 17, 18 @ 10:30-11:30 am MDT

Sign up for the Boundary Boot Camp

Self-esteem Boot Camp

Your self-image affects the way you see the ENTIRE WORLD! Come to this boot camp and let’s take a look at how you’re creating some painful ways of seeing your own value.

We’re also going to talk about that mean inner critic who wants to tell you all the ways you aren’t measuring up. Learn how to talk to that critic more than you listen to it. You’ll leave this boot camp with some simple tools you can use every single day.

You are invaluable and your value never changes with your outside circumstances. You can start internalizing that infinite value.

August 6, 7, 8, @ 10:30 am MDT

Sign up for the Self-Esteem Boot Camp

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Are you interested in private coaching? Let’s talk. Set up a free call with me and together we can see if we’re a good fit to work together.

CLICK HERE to set up your free call

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Send us a Text Message.

Episode 144 - Conflict in Marriage - Listeners' Questions Answered

Questions sent in by listeners. There were some really great questions asked in this episode. Interestingly, each question had to do with an unresponsive spouse.

We will often get stuck in a situation and not know how to do something different. The answers to these questions are a starting point for you to begin thinking differently about your circumstances.

Each answer in this episode applies the principles of Differentiation – the ability to be mature in your relationships by being strong inside yourself and connected with another person at the same time.

Questions asked in this episode:

1. My adult children have cut off communication with me because of things my husband has done. How do I convince them to view me as a separate parent so they will communicate with me?

2. I’ve been trying to do all the things I’ve learned in the podcast, but it’s not working. My spouse isn’t willing to connect with me. What now?

3. My husband calls me names when we don’t agree. How can I keep the peace?

If you would like to submit a question to be answered on the podcast, CLICK HERE

If you are tired of feeling hurt and used by others, and living with resentment because of it, sign up for the Boundary Boot Camp. You'll learn how to grow a Protecting Boundary and a Connecting Boundary to strengthen your relationships.
CLICK HERE for more information.

The thoughts and feelings you have about yourself play directly into how you show up in your relationships with others. Learn how to find your worth, challenge the harsh inner critic, and stand on your own two feet in the Self-esteem Boot Camp.
CLICK HERE for more information.

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Episode 143 - Dealing with Uncertainty and the Anxiety it Creates

When you have a situation in your life and family and you don’t know how it’s going to turn out and if everything will go the way you want it to, that is uncertainty and will surely cause you some anxiety, maybe even some fear. The reactions we usually go to when we feel this way are not usually helpful and can even be harmful to ourselves or others. When we can begin to change our relationship with uncertainty and anxiety, we become a stronger, more capable and confident version of ourselves. And then our ability to handle more and more difficult problems increases.

Ask Me Anything

If you would like to submit a question to be answered on the podcast, CLICK HERE

The Difficult Conversation Guide

In this guide, I’ll help you know what to do before, during, and after the conversation. You’ll also learn some amazing, and easy to learn emotional management skills that you can use long after this conversation is over.

Click here to download:

Have a difficult conversation with your husband

Have a difficult conversation with your adult child

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Episode 142 – How to Stop Polluting the Ecosystem of Your Relationship

What we dump into our relationships will affect the health of that relationship. We will breathe in what we put in. If we are putting in resentment, anger, passive-aggressiveness, we will breathe in the effects of that. This episode addresses how to stop the dysfunctional patterns we find ourselves in and how to clean up the air in the relationship so it is healthier for everyone.

If you are feeling stuck, not sure how what you’re hearing on this podcast can work in your life and aren’t quite sure how to create that future vision for yourself, let’s talk. I offer a handful of free calls each month and they are snatched up quickly. Set up your free call today so you can feel better about what the future holds for you.

CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE CALL

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Episode 141 – The Best Way to Share Your Self-Development with Others

If you are excited about your self-development journey, and you find yourself sharing (uninvited) with others, wanting the people you love and care about to have these tools and feel better, just like you’ve learned, that is normal. But, when we share uninvited, and we are actually inviting push-back and frustration on both sides.

In this episode, I outline the three main reasons we share with others and why we do that. I also share what we can do instead that can be a more effective way to help others.

Ask Me Anything

If you would like to submit a question to be answered on the podcast, CLICK HERE

The Difficult Conversation Guide

In this guide, I’ll help you know what to do before, during, and after the conversation. You’ll also learn some amazing, and easy to learn emotional management skills that you can use long after this conversation is over.

Click here to download:

Have a difficult conversation with your husband

Have a difficult conversation with your adult child

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Episode 140 - Ask Me Anything - Listeners Questions Answered

Questions sent in by listeners. There were some really great questions asked in this episode – ones that most people can relate to.

The answers to these questions are a starting point. We will often get stuck in a situation and not know how to do something different. The answers to these questions are a starting point for you to begin thinking differently about your circumstances.

Questions asked in this episode:

1. My adult children are exhausting and I don’t know if I want to choose to be around them.

2. I don’t keep my word to myself.

3. My sister-in-law is mean to me and I don’t know how to let go of what she says and not let it bother me.

If you would like to submit a question to be answered on the podcast, CLICK HERE

The Difficult Conversation Guide

In this guide, I’ll help you know what to do before, during, and after the conversation. You’ll also learn some amazing, and easy to learn emotional management skills that you can use long after this conversation is over.

Click here to download:

Have a difficult conversation with your husband

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Episode 139 - 7 Common Emotional Mistakes

In this episode, I’m highlighting the most common emotional mistakes I’ve seen my clients make. We experience our lives through our emotions, and these mistakes keep us from fully experiencing our lives.

1. Thinking our emotions are a problem we need to solve.

2. Thinking we are our emotions.

3. Trying to change our emotions by thinking our way out of them.

4. Thinking you can avoid your emotions by numbing out.

5. Pretending you aren’t having an emotion.

6. Not being aware that “good” emotions can be just as difficult to feel as “difficult” emotions.

7. Indulging in non-productive emotions.

If you want some help working on the emotional mistakes outlined in this episode, set up a free 30-minute consultation. We will focus on helping you overcome the emotional mistakes you are needing help with. CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE APPOINTMENT

The Difficult Conversation Guide

In this guide, I’ll help you know what to do before, during, and after the conversation. You’ll also learn some amazing, and easy to learn emotional management skills that you can use long after this conversation is over.

Click here to download:

Have a difficult conversation with your husband

Have a difficult conversation with your adult child

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Episode 138 – What’s the Difference between Coaching and Therapy?

If you have been wondering what coaching is and how it differs from therapy, I dive into that topic in this episode. Therapy has been around for a long time, and many people are familiar with what therapy will help with. Coaching has been around for decades, but only in the last few years has become more common and mainstream.

If you’re wanting help in your life, but aren’t sure whether to look into therapy or coaching, this episode is here to help you know more about each model and what direction you might want to go.

Set up a free 30-minute consultation with me to see if coaching is right for you and if we are a good fit to work together. CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE APPOINTMENT

The Difficult Conversation Guide

In this guide, I’ll help you know what to do before, during, and after the conversation. You’ll also learn some amazing, and easy to learn emotional management skills that you can use long after this conversation is over.

Click here to download:

Have a difficult conversation with your husband

Have a difficult conversation with your adult child

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Episode 137 – Have a Difficult Conversation without Your Emotions Taking Over

If you’ve been putting off having a conversation because you get emotional and forget what you want to say, or you break down, or anger takes over, this episode is for you.

It’s most likely no one ever taught you how to talk about difficult topics. It’s also probably likely that no one taught you healthy emotional management skills. If those two things are true for you, stop shaming yourself for not being able to express yourself in the way you want to, and listen to this episode to get some help.

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If you’re wanting to have a difficult conversation with another person, but your emotions take over and you can’t say what you want to say without getting angry or breaking down crying, download:

The Difficult Conversation Guide

In this guide, I’ll help you know what to do before, during, and after the conversation. You’ll also learn some amazing, and easy to learn emotional management skills that you can use long after this conversation is over.

Click here to download:

Have a difficult conversation with your husband

Have a difficult conversation with your adult child

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Links mentioned in this episode:

Episode 137 – Is it Conflict or Contention?

Episode 127 -Losing Strategy #3 - Unbridled Self-expression

YouTube video with metronomes demonstrating Sympathetic Resonance

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Episode 136 - A Different View of Forgiveness

Are you someone who gets stuck in thoughts about how you’ve been hurt and have trouble letting go of that hurt? If that’s you, this is your episode.

In this episode, I’ll give you a different view of why you might be stuck and how to begin moving forward.

Want help processing your difficult emotions so you can get unstuck and finally let that hurt go and move on? Let’s work on this together. Set up a 90-minute coaching call with me and let’s work on it together. You’ll feel so much better after this call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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Are you putting off having a difficult conversation because you get emotional every time you try to express yourself? Maybe you cry, or get angry, or say things you regret later, so you avoid having difficult conversations.

If this is you, download The Difficult Conversation Guide!

In this guide, I’ll walk you through how to prepare yourself for the conversation, what to do during and after the conversation. And you’ll also learn some pretty useful emotional management skills that will help you long after the conversation is over.

CLICK HERE to download The Difficult Conversation Guide – how to have a conversation with your adult child.

CLICK HERE to download The Difficult Conversation Guide – how to have a conversation with your husband.

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It all begins with you and that's the best news ever, because that's the only person you have control over. You can be the person who directs your family to a new way of relating.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Episode 135 - Developing Differentiation with Gina - Client Spotlight

Differentiation is the ability to hold onto who we are in an authentic way when we are staying in connection with other people and doing that in an emotionally and mentally mature way.

My client, Gina, has been working on developing the skill of Differentiation, and has made so much progress, I want to highlight her and let her share her experience and some of her journey.

Gina shares why she decided she wanted to work on this particular skill, some of the difficulties she went through, and what was especially helpful to her.

I hope this episode is helpful to you as you go on your own journey in your family relationships.

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

View Details

Episode 134 - How to Not Take Your Hard Week Out on Your Family

Have you had a hard week? Do you feel depleted and have nothing left to give? Has your brain and/or body shut down because you just can’t do any more than you’re already doing?

If this is you, listen to this episode for five things you can do right now to begin taking care of yourself.

You don’t need to take an expensive vacation, go shopping, or get a massage (unless you really want to!). What you really need when it’s been a hard week, is to do a different type of self-care. This is the kind you can do to take care of yourself every day. And these five things will help you increase your capacity to handle the stress of life.

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 133 – Is it Conflict or Contention?

Conflict is inevitable in relationships, but contention is not. What do you do when you find yourself in conflict with a member of your family? The way you view them and you will determine if you’re escalating into contention. In this episode, I review the Gottman Institute’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Each of these horseman are red flags that you’re relationship is heading (or already is) in a contentious state

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 132 – Defensiveness

The seventh Losing Strategy is being defensive. When we get defensive, we are going to war with the other person. We put on our armor and we gather our weapons. Defensiveness comes from our inability or our refusal to take a look at ourselves and self-confront. It is also one of the 4 horsemen the Gottman’s have identified as red flags in a relationship.

If you want to begin learning some winning relationship strategies, register for my upcoming class:

Healthy Relationships from the Inside Out

March 21, 11:00am MDT

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

If you don’t want to wait for the class, schedule a Strategy Call with me. This is a one-time introductory coaching call, not a sales call. We’ll spend about an hour discussing your issue and you’ll leave with at least one, probably two or three strategies to begin using in your relationship

CLICK HERE to set up your call

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 131 – Resentful or Costly Accommodation

The sixth Losing Strategy is Resentful or Costly Accommodation. This happens when we collapse who we are into what we think other people want us to be. We deny our own needs and desires, and we give up or refuse to look at what is important to us. Resentment can easily set in when we give us so much of ourselves and deny our own needs.

If you want to begin learning some winning relationship strategies, register for my upcoming class:

Healthy Relationships from the Inside Out

March 21, 11:00am MDT

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

If you don’t want to wait for the class, schedule a Strategy Call with me. This is a one-time introductory coaching call, not a sales call. We’ll spend about an hour discussing your issue and you’ll leave with at least one, probably two or three strategies to begin using in your relationship

CLICK HERE to set up your call

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 130 - Withdrawing from a Relationship

The fifth Losing Relationship Strategy in this series is – Withdrawal.

When we withdraw from a relationship, we are disinvesting in it. When we are criticizing and fighting, we are still invested in the relationship. Withdrawal is a sign that we’ve given up and are no longer giving our energy to the relationship.

Here’s a question you can ask yourself: Have I ever withdrawn from a relationship? How did I get to the point of withdrawing?

If you want to begin learning some winning relationship strategies, register for my upcoming class:

Healthy Relationships from the Inside Out

March 21, 11:00am MDT

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

If you don’t want to wait for the class, schedule a Strategy Call with me. This is a one-time introductory coaching call, not a sales call. We’ll spend about an hour discussing your issue and you’ll leave with at least one, probably two or three strategies to begin using in your relationship

CLICK HERE to set up your call

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 129 - Punishment and Retaliation – Losing Strategy #4

The fourth losing relationship strategy is Punishment and retaliation. This can show up in covert and overt ways, but at its core, we turn ourselves into a victim of the other person and we are then feeling justified in withholding approval and affection, or even punishing in a physically harmful way.

We are designed for human connection, and we are designed to want our independence and agency. The problem is we don’t know how to get both of those things at the same time. We either give up our independence or we cut ourselves off from others.

To begin working on correcting this losing strategy, ask yourself the following questions:

1. When was the last time I withheld affection or approval from someone I love?

2. How did I feel after I did that?

3. What was I trying to get?

4. Did I get what I wanted?

If you want to begin learning some winning relationship strategies, register for my upcoming class:

Healthy Relationships from the Inside Out

March 21, 11:00am MDT

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

If you don’t want to wait for the class, schedule a Strategy Call with me. This is a one-time introductory coaching call, not a sales call. We’ll spend about an hour discussing your issue and you’ll leave with at least one, probably two or three strategies to begin using in your relationship

CLICK HERE to set up your call

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 128 Unbridled Self-expression

The third Losing Relationship Strategy in this series is – Unbridled Self-expression. When you were growing up, was there someone in your home who ruled the atmosphere of the home with the way their words or emotions came spilling out? What was that like for you?

When we allow ourselves to let words and emotions come spilling out onto the people around us, it drives people away, and it gets us the opposite of what we want. Unbridled self-expression is an attempt to get control in a relationship, but if we end up with any control at all, it is a surface level control, not a more connected relationship.

If you want to begin learning some winning relationship strategies, register for my upcoming class:

Healthy Relationships from the Inside Out

March 21, 11:00am MDT

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

If you don’t want to wait for the class, schedule a Strategy Call with me. This is a one-time introductory coaching call, not a sales call. We’ll spend about an hour discussing your issue and you’ll leave with at least one, probably two or three strategies to begin using in your relationship

CLICK HERE to set up your call

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 127 - The Sneaky Ways You Are Trying to Control Other People

Part 2 of Losing Relationship Strategies is all about how we try to control the way other people think of us, the way we try to control what other people do, and how we are trying to control situations in our lives because we can’t handle our own anxieties about things not going the way we want them to.

If you want to begin learning some winning relationship strategies, register for my upcoming class:

Healthy Relationships from the Inside Out

March 21, 11:00am MDT

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

If you don’t want to wait for the class, schedule a Strategy Call with me. This is a one-time introductory coaching call, not a sales call. We’ll spend about an hour discussing your issue and you’ll leave with at least one, probably two or three strategies to begin using in your relationship.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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126 - Needing to be Right

Our brains have a natural need to be right, and that comes from the way we take in our experiences and make meaning of them. We each have a different way of taking in experiences and how we make meaning of them, and that works directly against forming strong relationship connections with others when we fight for our view of the world and refuse to see an alternative view.

Needing to be right and fighting for that right is one of the losing relationship strategies I’ll be covering the next few weeks. This is part 1 of a 7-part series on Losing Relationship Strategies.

I’ll be teaching a class on what to do instead of using these losing strategies. The link to register for this class is coming next week.

Strategy Call

If you don’t want to wait for the class, set up a Strategy call with me. Use this call to try out coaching and see if it’s a good fit for you, or to work on one relationship problem you’re having. We’ll work for about an hour and you’ll walk away from this call with at least one, but probably two or three different strategies to begin using. I’ll help you to begin moving from transactional thinking to relational thinking. The price for this call will be going up April 2024. Schedule yours right now at the current low price of $25.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 125 Finding the Progress in Your Life

This is part 4 in a 4-part series on setting relationship goals.

You can accomplish less than you think you’re supposed to in the short-term and much more than you think you can in the long-term.

Relationships are not sprints; they are marathons. Let time work on your side but show yourself how you are progressing along the way. This episode will show you how to do that.

Want some help with what you’re learning in this 4-part series?

Download: The Step-by-Step Guide to Setting a Relationship Goal

I’ll walk you through each of the steps in this podcast series and I’ll give you a system for intentionally creating your day that only takes 5 minutes each day.

Need some help in using this system? Set up a Strategy Call with me. I’m offering 24, 60-minute strategy calls in the first quarter of 2024. The current price is $25, but this price will increase in April 2024.

CLICK HERE to schedule your Strategy Call

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 124 The What, How, and Why of Setting a Relationship Goal

This is part 3 in a 4-part series on setting relationship goals.

This episode gets down to the nitty-gritty of what to focus on, how to create a system that works, and how to stay focused on what you want to create and why.

James Clear, author of “Atomic Habits” says:

“Focus on systems, not on goals. You will not rise to achieve your goals; you will fall to the level of your systems.”

When you focus on the system, your goal becomes an action item and feels more tangible.

Want some help with what you’re learning in this 4-part series?

Download: The Step-by-Step Guide to Setting a Relationship Goal

I’ll walk you through each of the steps in this podcast series and I’ll give you a system for intentionally creating your day that only takes 5 minutes each day.

Need some help in using this system? Set up a Strategy Call with me. I’m offering 24, 60-minute strategy calls in the first quarter of 2024. The current price is $25, but this price will increase in April 2024.

CLICK HERE to schedule your Strategy Call

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 123 Who You Think You Are Determines What You Do

This is part 2 in a 4-part series on setting relationship goals.

This episode is all about using your identity – who you believe you are – to help you make the changes you want vs. trying to force yourself to behave differently than you have in the past.

Working to change who you believe you are takes more work upfront, but the effects are much longer lasting than behavior changes.

Want some help with what you’re learning in this 4-part series?

Download: The Step-by-Step Guide to Setting a Relationship Goal

I’ll walk you through each of the steps in this podcast series and I’ll give you a system for intentionally creating your day that only takes 5 minutes each day.

Need some help in using this goal-setting system? Set up a Strategy Call with me. I’m offering 24, 60-minute strategy calls in the first quarter of 2024. The current price is $25, but this price will increase in April 2024.

CLICK HERE to schedule your Strategy Call

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 122 - Setting a Relationship Goal with a Healthy Mindset

This is part 1 of a 4 part series on setting relationship goals. We often set goals from a place of lack or of feeling like we are not enough just as we are. This makes the journey to achieving the goal feel terrible, and we often get discouraged, give up, and then feel worse about ourselves.
In this episode, you'll learn what a healthy mindset looks like when you are setting goals.

Do you need help setting your relationship goal this year?
Download A Step by Step Guide to Setting Relationship Goals
I'll walk you through setting a goal, identifying what will be difficult in achieving the goal, and creating a strategy to overcome the obstacles.

Set up a Strategy Call with me and see what coaching is all about. We'll work on whatever you need help with and you'll leave this call with a clear plan about how to move forward. I'm offering 24 of these calls at the current price of $25. The price will go up in April 2024 or when all 24 calls are gone. Schedule yours today with the link below!

https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=19366620&appointmentType=15222184

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Finding Joy Through Generosity - Most popular episodes of 2023

This is a rebroadcast of an episode recorded earlier this year in the "Finding Joy" series, which aired in April and May 2023.

This episode came in as the most popular episode of 2023 – Finding Joy through Generosity.

Want more balance and peace in your life? Want help managing your emotions? Sleeping better at night? Having more energy in the morning? Then you need to take my class – Breathing For Life! You can grab the class this month for only $29 (usually $49).

CLICK HERE to purchase the class

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Finding Joy Through Compassion - Most popular episodes of 2023

This is a rebroadcast of an episode recorded earlier this year in the "Finding Joy" series, which aired in April and May 2023.

This episode came in 2nd in the most popular episodes of 2023 – Finding Joy through Compassion.

Want more balance and peace in your life? Want help managing your emotions? Sleeping better at night? Having more energy in the morning? Then you need to take my class – Breathing For Life! You can grab the class this month for only $29 (usually $49).

CLICK HERE to purchase the class

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 119

This is a rebroadcast of an episode recorded earlier this year with Clarice Paulson and Caleb Price. It was part of the Know, Love, Grow series that aired January, February, March 2023.

This episode came in 3rd in the most popular episodes of 2023 – Knowing your Young Adult, with Caleb Price and Clarice Paulson. Caleb and Clarice are two very honest young adults (who also happen to be coaches) and they are very vulnerable as they open up to a very specific question I asked them.

Want more balance and peace in your life? Want help managing your emotions? Sleeping better at night? Having more energy in the morning? Then you need to take my class – Breathing For Life! You can grab the class this month for only $29 (usually $49).

CLICK HERE to purchase the class

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 118

This is a rebroadcast of an episode recorded earlier this year with Leah Davidson. It was part of the Know, Love, Grow series that aired January, February, March 2023.

This episode came in 4th in the most popular episodes of 2023 – Expectations and Your Family Members, with Leah Davidson

Want more balance and peace in your life? Want help managing your emotions? Sleeping better at night? Having more energy in the morning? Then you need to take my class – Breathing For Life! You can grab the class this month for only $29 (usually $49).

CLICK HERE to purchase the class

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 117

This is a rebroadcast of an episode recorded earlier this year with Aimee Gianni. It was part of the Know, Love, Grow series that aired January, February, March 2023.

This episode came in 5th in the most popular episodes of 2023 – Finding Love for Who You Are, with Aimee Gianni

Want more balance and peace in your life? Want help managing your emotions? Sleeping better at night? Having more energy in the morning? Then you need to take my class – Breathing For Life! You can grab the class this month for only $29 (usually $49).

CLICK HERE to purchase the class

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 116: How to stop yelling; When other people are offended; My mother is mean – Ask Me Anything Series

Another “Ask Me Anything” podcast where listeners send in their questions to be answered on the podcast.

Here are the questions asked and answered this week:

Question 1:

You talk a lot about slowing down and I’m having trouble doing that. I have 3 kids under the age of 12. Probably once each day, something happens and I get really upset with them and start yelling, and once I get that out of my system, I feel better, but I also feel worse for how I acted. I think it’s a cycle I don’t know how to break, but I really want to break it. It’s my family that gets most of my anger and I don’t want to keep doing this to them. I can see that they’re afraid of me, but I literally don’t know how to stop. How do I slow down and not yell?

Question 2:

I am a “tell it how it is” kind of person. I don’t sugar coat anything, I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad, but recently I had a situation where I was in charge of an event at church and I heard that some of the people I was working with were offended. Now I don’t know what to do. I don’t want people to be offended, but this is just how I am.

Question 3:

My mother is so mean. She says the meanest things to me and then tells me I’m too sensitive when I get upset and tell her she’s hurt my feelings. She tells me I just need to get over it and move on. It’s gotten to the point where I think I need to limit the time I spend with her, or maybe even not see her for awhile. I just can’t take it when she gets to say whatever she wants to and then chalk it up to “This is just the way I am.” And then I feel terrible and am told there’s something wrong with me and I should stop feeling what I’m feeling. I want to have a good relationship with her, but if this keeps happening, I can’t see a future that we can keep going on this way.

Links mentioned in this podcast:

Breathing for Life class

Learn to deal with overwhelm, stress, and anxiety as well as process your emotions by establishing a daily breathing practice in just ten minutes each day.

How 2 Love Your Marriage, with Aimee Gianni

Attend this in-person, 2-day workshop in January, 2024. It will be the best gift you can give your relationship this year!

CLICK HERE for more information

Want to submit a question to be answered on the podcast? CLICK HERE

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 115 - Improving Your Relationship with Your Spouse, Being Afraid for Your Kids - Part 3 of the Ask Me Anything Series

Today’s questions:

Question 1:

What does “Clean up your own side of the street” mean. You say this a lot and I’m not sure what you mean or how to do it.

Question 2:

If I were going to do one thing that would help me have a better relationship with my partner, what would it be?

Question 3:

I have 3 kids who are 10, 15, and 17, and I am so afraid for them. I’m watching what is happening with our youth right now and how so many of them are leaving their family’s religion. I know I have good kids and I can’t imagine they would decide to leave, but I’ve seen other kids that I know are really good kids that are leaving, so I feel like there are no guarantees. What can I do to help them?

Links I referenced in this episode:

How 2 Love Your Marriage with Aimee Gianni

CLICK HERE

Episode 81 “Know Yourself Through Self-confrontation”

To submit your question to be answered on the podcast:

CLICK HERE

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode #114 - Parenting Problems and Cleaning Up Your Own Side of the Street, Ask Me Anything Series

Today’s podcast consists of questions sent in by listeners. I answer 2 parenting questions:

Question #1

My son is 18 and has challenges with alcohol and nicotine. He is masking his challenges and feelings by checking out of life with both of those. My daughter is 16 and is questioning her faith. She has stopped going to church. I need some help recognizing how to build a better relationship with both of them. They’ve built up many walls and we don’t really communicate much at all. I don’t know what to do next.

Question #2

I need some help rebuilding the relationship with my adult son. He’s created perceptions in his mind about who I am, and they are not correct. It’s damaging our relationship. I’ve already tried asking more questions, being less judgmental, and showing more love, but it’s not working. I think I need help in finding acceptance for myself and him.

Links I referenced in the podcast:

Submit a question to be answered on the podcast:

Link for questions

Episode 74: The Pyramid of Influence with Brent Bartel

Episode #18 Parents Hardest Questions Answered

Episode #63 Processing Emotions

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 113 – Expectation Frustration and Processing Emotions

In today’s podcast, I’ll be answering the following questions:

1. I’m so disappointed in my wife. She is so disorganized and I feel like I’m picking up the slack when I get home from work. If she would be better about having the stuff like the laundry done, picking up the kids toys, having dinner made before I get home, I wouldn’t be so mad. I get so frustrated when I come home every day and it’s the same thing over and over again. This has been going on for years now and it’s just getting worse. What should I do to get her more organized?

2. I have 5 kids and 3 of them don’t go to church anymore. The other 2 are on the fence and honestly I’m not sure where they will end up. We have a daughter that is gay and she has a partner we love. I’m not struggling with my kids not going to church or having a gay daughter. I still go to church and it’s so hard for me to listen to how other people talk about LGBTQ people. They say the most judgmental things and the worst part of it is that they don’t even hear the words that are coming out of their own mouth and how judgmental and mean they sound. I leave church in tears most of the time. I get emotional when I speak up, and I know if I said something back to the people making rude comments, that I would just cry the whole way through. I don’t know what to do. I feel like the church is my spiritual home, but I don’t feel welcome in my home anymore. It’s a painful place to be. I’m not sure what my question is, but I just want to feel better.

I’ll be running this “Ask Me Anything” series for the month of November 2023. To submit your question and get an answer on the podcast, CLICK HERE

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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112: Boundaries – When, What, How?

Boundaries are tricky. We are afraid to make them because we don’t want to risk the relationship, but we’re so angry, resentful, fearful, that we’re doing damage to the relationship by not setting them. Listen to this episode for the when, what, and how of boundaries to help you out.

Do you have a relationship problem you don’t know how to fix? I’ll be running a new series on this podcast in November, which is the “Ask Me Anything” series. Click below to submit a question and get an answer on the podcast. And (of course) you can remain completely anonymous.

Ask Me Anything

Boundaries:

Take aways:

1. Use boundaries sparingly. Usually what you want is for someone else to be different. Unless this is threatening your physical, emotional, mental, spiritual health in some way, it’s probably not a boundary issue.

2. The strongest, most secure relationships have strong boundaries because boundaries require taking responsibility for yourself, and inviting the other person to take responsibility for themselves. It might be difficult at first to put those in place, but in the long run, you’re strengthening a relationship, not weakening it.

Challenge:

If you want to practice setting a boundary, start with setting one for yourself. If you’re like most people I coach, you have an inner narrator who is not very nice to you. In fact, that narrator can be downright mean.

Ask yourself, “Would I let someone else talk to me this way?” I hope your answer is NO. You can say to yourself, “When I hear the mean inner narrator say something not nice, I will tell them, “When you talk to me like that, I will tell myself 3 reasons what you are saying is not true.” Or “When you say mean things to me, I’m going to take 3 deep breaths and remind you that I don’t listen to that anymore.”

This is the inside-out approach and this is the best place to start!

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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111 - Five Things to Focus on When Your Child Leaves your Faith

When your child leaves the faith you raised them in, it is easy to get caught up in the emotions of fear, worry, sadness, or even anger. None of these emotions will be helpful for you to build and nurture your relationship with your child. Listen to this episode to know where to put your focus instead.

Listen to the podcast: Processing Emotions

Upcoming Breathing Workshop:

If you are very reactive to the situations and people in your world, if you’re feeling a lot of stress, overwhelm, anxiety, fear, then this workshop will be very helpful for you.

We’ll be working on how to have more control over your emotional responses to life, how to establish a breathing routine every day in just 10 minutes, how to manage stress and anxiety.

One of the reasons we think the way that we do is because we aren’t managing our emotional responses to our lives, and then our brain is going crazy with those thought tornados, which then leads us to feel more stress, anxiety, overwhelm, and then that affects our thoughts, and the cycle continues.

A few minutes of breathing every day can really help.

There are very few body functions we can directly control in order to change how we are feeling. Changing the way we are breathing is one of those. It’s huge. Don’t miss out on this workshop!

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

The Five Things to Focus on When Your Child Leaves the LDS Church:

1. Be a safe place

2. Move in closer

3. Stay at the tree

4. Focus on the good fruit

5. Deal with yourself first

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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#110 Focus on Planting Relationship Seeds the Give You Good Fruit

This is the 4th episode in the series for parents who have a child that has left The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Every single day you are planting relationship seeds that you will some day harvest. You’re planting these relationship seeds with what you are thinking, feeling, and doing, even when you’re not aware of it.

In this episode, I’ll show you how to tell the difference between a seed that will give you the fruit you want to have vs a seed that will give you a fruit you don’t want to have. It all starts with how you are making meaning of the circumstances in your life, especially what you are making it mean that your child has left the church.

Take aways:

1. The story you tell yourself is optional, and you are the storyteller. Choose a story that brings you into alignment with the greatest commandments to love God, others, and yourself. “Others” includes your child who has left the church. Get help with this through coaching or therapy if you need to. Most people need to.

2. This experience you are having is for YOUR benefit. Romans 8:28: “And we know that all things work together for good to them what love God…” Find out what that means for you. This might be the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but there is a reason you are having this experience, and it is your gift to find out what that is. Again, seek out help if you need to through coaching or therapy.

Challenge:

Keep a gratitude journal for the next 7 days. Each day, write down 3 things you are grateful for and don’t repeat anything during the 7 days.

You get 1 freebie each day to write down something you are grateful for right now. The other 2 things you write need to come from the circumstance of your child leaving the church. Find the blessing, the gratitude, or the lesson you're learning from this circumstance. Even in our most difficult circumstances, there are gifts and things to be grateful for. This will stretch you mind and your heart, but by the end of the 7 days, your perspective will shift.

**Upcoming Breathing Workshop:

October 24, 25, 26 - 2:30-3:00pm MDT
(replay available)**

If you are very reactive to the situations and people in your world, if you’re feeling a lot of stress, overwhelm, anxiety, fear, then this workshop will be very helpful for you.

We’ll be working on how to have more control over your emotional responses to life, how to establish a breathing routine every day in just 10 minutes that will help you to manage stress and anxiety.

One of the reasons we think the way that we do is because we aren’t managing our emotional responses to our lives, and then our brain is going crazy with those thought tornados, which then leads us to feel more stress, anxiety, overwhelm, and then that affects our thoughts, and the cycle continues.

A few minutes of intentional, structured breathing every day can really help.

There are very few body functions we can directly control in order to change how we are feeling. Changing the way we are breathing is one of those. It’s huge. Don’t miss out on this workshop!

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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Episode 109 - Fear of Your Child Leaving Your Faith

When you see your child leaving the church, feeling fear is normal, but not helpful. This is the third in a series of what happens for parents when their child leaves the church.

When you are afraid, you are not responding and acting with your higher thinking brain, you are reacting from your lower instincts to prioritize safety and security. The problem with this is that prioritizing safety and security is often going against the relationship, not for it.

Listen to this episode to see if this is happening to you and what you can do about it.

Take away #1

You will never react rationally when you are afraid. Calm yourself down to be able to access your rational brain.

Take away #2

The anxiety you are experiencing right now will not change the future. The only thing you have is what you do right now at this moment. Mindfulness is important, and mindfulness can be described as having awareness without judgment – for yourself and for your child.

Your Weekly Challenge

Once each day, practice slowing your breath down. Use your nose and inhale for 4 seconds, then exhale for 4 seconds. Do this 10 times. This helps you to calm your body and bring your awareness into the present. It might feel strange or difficult at first, because this is much slower than you usually breathe. The more you practice, the better you will get. If you consistently practice this type of breathing over time, you will feel much more in control of your own responses to the circumstances of your life.

Download Brene Brown’s Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto: CLICK HERE

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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#108 The Wholehearted Parenting Manifest by Brene Brown

Are you as big of a Brene Brown fan as I am? When I found this manifesto on her website, I knew I needed to share it with my audience. As I begin this series into helping parents who have a child that has left the LDS church, please keep this manifesto in mind. As we work on differentiating ourselves from our children, spouse, and others, we need to keep in mind that living a wholehearted life is equal parts head work and heart work. When you don’t know what to do or what to focus on, look at this manifesto to remind you this is just as much about you showing up and living in a wholehearted way as it is anything else.

Download the free Wholehearted parenting Manifesto written by Brene Brown. Great to print off so you can have a visual reminder of what living a wholehearted life looks like from the parenting perspective.

Download the Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto by Brene Brown

Link to Ted Talk

Link to The Gifts of Imperfection

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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#107 - Differentiating Yourself from Your Adult Child When They Leave Your FaithThis is the first in a series of episodes for parents who have adult children leaving the faith of their parents.

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is a well-respected therapist who focuses on creating healthy, mature relationships. Her insight on this sensitive topic is invaluable. If you have a child who has left the LDS church, this is a must-listen episode.

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She helps her clients strengthen themselves so they can survive and thrive in their family relationships, no matter what is happening. Strengthen yourself and you'll strengthen everyone around you.

She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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#106 Why It's Important to Work on Your Relationship with Yourself First

You want your relationships to be different. If that other person would just be different, everything would be so much easier.

You don’t have any control over that other person, so this leaves you stuck.

When you work on yourself – how you are seeing and reacting to the world around you, that is where you can affect some change, but also start to feel better.

Take aways:

1. When you work on you first, everything begins to shift because you start seeing yourself, others, and the world differently. You don’t see the world as it is, you see the world as you are.

2. When you work on you first, that is where your power and agency lie. This is moral agency in action. You don’t need anyone else to change for you to be an agent in your own life.

Challenge:

Join the Hopeless 2 Hope-full program, beginning September 17. We will begin the work on you – integrating your thinking mind, your emotional heart, and your reactive nervous system. When you focus on all three of these important pieces of you, you will begin seeing huge shifts in how you think, feel, and do.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE DETAILS

Are you the parent of a young adult? Were you surprised when you got to this stage of life that it’s harder to be the parent of a young adult than the parent of a teenager? I sure was. Here’s the thing – you can’t parent your young adult the same way your parents did. If you try to do that, you could do some real damage to your relationship with them.

If this is you, I have a free training for you:

“10 Important Tips to Improve Your Relationship with Your Young Adult.”
Click here to download your free copy

You'll be surprised at some of these tips, and you'll feel like you finally have a road map to navigate this tricky time in your life and your child's life.

Tina Gosney is a certified life and relationship coach. She is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and helps with families who are experiencing relationship challenges because of LGBTQ, faith challenges, and other issues facing LDS families today. She is a positivity practitioner and is a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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#105 - A Good Question Leads to a Quality Answer

Most of the questions you ask yourself are probably judgements of yourself or others. At the least, they are low-quality questions. We should have a required class in high school that teaches us to ask ourselves better questions, because the better your questions are, the more quality answers you will get. If you are wanting better results in your family relationships, listen to this episode for the key ingredients to a quality question.

Take away #1: The quality of your questions determines the quality of your life

Take away #2: The better-quality question, the better-quality answer. Better answers = better results

Challenge: Come to the masterclass on September 6 “How to Positively Influence the People You Love” and bring a quality question to that class. See what answers your brain comes up with during the masterclass. If you don’t find answers, there will be live coaching or live Q&A and you can get some help finding answers to your question. Here’s the link to sign up: CLICK HERE

Want to apply to be a part of the Hopeless 2 Hope-full program beginning in September? This group program is for you if you are feeling hopeless in one of your family relationships and you don’t know what to do next. I’ll help you find healing, hope, and confidence in that relationship. CLICK HERE to submit an application to join.

Are you the parent of a young adult? Were you surprised when you got to this stage of life that it’s harder to be the parent of a young adult than the parent of a teenager? I sure was. Here’s the thing – you can’t parent your young adult the same way your parents did. If you try to do that, you could do some real damage to your relationship with them.

If this is you, I have a free training for you:

“10 Important Tips to Improve Your Relationship with Your Young Adult.”
Click here to download your free copy

You'll be surprised at some of these tips, and you'll feel like you finally have a road map to navigate this tricky time in your life and your child's life.

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Episode 104 - How to Help Your Single Young Adult Child, an Interview with Julie Balkman

Young adults are staying single longer than they did just a decade or two ago. Most people I coach have at least one child who they thought would be married by now. I’ve noticed most parents don’t know what to do to help their child move on into full-fledge adulthood and progress in their life.

Julie Balkman is a certified life coach who specializes in helping young adults (single and married) with self discovery, life-planning & decision making, relationships with self, others, and God. She is known for helping people get out of the dating game and into a real relationship that lasts. She talks in this episode about what parents can do, and can stop doing, that will help their single young adult child.

To contact Julie:

IG: lifecoach.julie

Website: juliebalkmancoaching.com

Sign up for the next masterclass:

How to Positively Influence the People You Love

Wednesday, August 30, 2:00 Mountain Time

You’ll learn:

1. How to get someone to really listen to you.

2. Why you can’t think of what you want to say when you’re in the moment, but you can think of everything you want to say 2 hours later.

3. How to begin creating a relationship with psychological safety

4. The one place you can begin that will have the greatest impact on your ability to influence others.

CLICK HERE to register

Are you the parent of a young adult? Were you surprised when you got to this stage of life that it’s harder to be the parent of a young adult than the parent of a teenager? I sure was. Here’s the thing – you can’t parent your young adult the same way your parents did. If you try to do that, you could do some real damage to your relationship with them.

If this is you, I have a free training for you:

“10 Important Tips to Improve Your Relationship with Your Young Adult.”
Click here to download your free copy

You'll be surprised at some of these tips, and you'll feel like you finally have a road map to navigate this tricky time in your life and your child's life.

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#103 Stinkin Thinkin and Metacognition

You have the ability to think about your own thinking. And you should! Because the way you are thinking affects your relationships with others, with yourself, and with the world around you. This summer I became a certified positivity practitioner with Dr. Paul Jenkins, and one of the things he talks about is stinkin thinkin and how those stinkin thoughts are creating problems for us in our lives and relationships.

You do have the ability to affect your own thinking, and in this episode, I’ll give you one very effective tool to help you with your own stinkin thinkin.

Take Aways:

1. Change your focus and tell yourself a different story.

2. Be very careful about what you allow your brain to focus on. Choose to focus on thoughts that create good fruits and results in your life.

Challenge:

Choose one thought in your brain and challenge it for a day. Look on purpose for evidence that something else could be true and see how your brain begins to see things you didn’t see before.

Join me for a special Masterclass: How to Positively Influence the People You Love

I’ll teach you the 5 things you need to know if you feel like you’ve lost all ability to influence family members to make positive changes in their lives. Find out where your power is in the relationship.

CLICK HERE to register for the masterclass.

If you know you’re ready (or at least want to find out more information) about how to change your stinkin thinkin and create more hope in your life and bring more hope to those around you, I invite you to join me for the Hopeless 2 Hope-full group program beginning the week of September 17, 2023.

If you’re feeling afraid, hopeless, and telling yourself you’ve failed, this program is for you. I’ll teach you what you need to know to start feeling hope-full again. I’ll show you where you can affect change and you can have a positive impact on your family, no matter what is happening.

CLICK HERE to apply for the Hopeless 2 Hope-full program.

Are you the parent of a young adult? Were you surprised when you got to this stage of life that it’s harder to be the parent of a young adult than the parent of a teenager? I sure was. Here’s the thing – you can’t parent your young adult the same way your parents did. If you try to do that, you could do some real damage to your relationship with them.

If this is you, I have a free training for you:

“10 Important Tips to Improve Your Relationship with Your Young Adult.”
Click here to download your free copy

You'll be surprised at some of these tips, and you'll feel like you finally have a road map to navigate this tricky time in your life and your child's life.

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#102 – Take Radical Responsibility for Your Relationships

If you’re like most people, when you’re struggling in a relationship, you fall into either blaming another person for how they are making you feel, or you’re trying to get them to be different so you can feel better. Maybe you’re doing both!

What if you didn’t have to do either, and instead of focusing on the other person, you’re focusing on yourself and your own responsibility for the thoughts you’re having and the emotions you’re experiencing. This is a radical idea! But this is also where you get your freedom.

You are here to be an agent in your own life, not a victim of your circumstances. You have the ability to choose to be reactive by default, or to respond intentionally. Once you take radical responsibility for yourself, you’ll see your relationships begin to change without doing anything else.

I’m Tina Gosney and I’m your podcast host. I’m also a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I’m coach that focuses on building stronger and healthier relationships within our families no matter what is happening. Those strong, healthy relationships begin with you – so let’s start there.

Apply to be considered for the Beta Test: Positively Impactful

Click Here to Apply

To learn more about my work, visit my website tinagosney.com

Are you the parent of a young adult? Were you surprised when you got to this stage of life that it’s harder to be the parent of a young adult than the parent of a teenager? I sure was. Here’s the thing – you can’t parent your young adult the same way your parents did. If you try to do that, you could do some real damage to your relationship with them.

If this is you, I have a free training for you:

“10 Important Tips to Improve Your Relationship with Your Young Adult.”
Click here to download your free copy

You'll be surprised at some of these tips, and you'll feel like you finally have a road map to navigate this tricky time in your life and your child's life.

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Episode 101 - Finding Joy part 8 - GenerosityGenerosity is the 8th and final pillar of joy. It is a culmination of all the other pillars. When you can see with perspective, humility and humor, when you accept reality and not fight against it, when you can forgive yourself and others, be grateful for all you’ve been given, show compassion for life itself, you are being generous. Joy is making space for your whole human life, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and continuing to move forward.

Take aways:

1 - What you focus on will grow bigger. With yourself and with others. Focusing on the good and being generous with yourself and others is not burying your head in the sand. It is purposefully choosing to see and emphasize the good. When you do this, it will grow.

2 - When your life is being contracted or desolated, be generous with how you treat yourself. Be generous with kindness, compassion, thoughts, and actions. When you see others in desolation or contraction, exercise generosity with them too. The give and take of your life and others lives is our common humanity and it bonds us together.

Challenge:

Ask yourself: How can I feel generosity today for my trials? How can I transform my problem into an opportunity to give to others? When we give joy to others, we experience joy ourselves. We are all spiritually connected and when we give to others, it benefits everyone, including ourselves.

Are you the parent of a young adult? Were you surprised when you got to this stage of life that it’s harder to be the parent of a young adult than the parent of a teenager? I sure was. Here’s the thing – you can’t parent your young adult the same way your parents did. If you try to do that, you could do some real damage to your relationship with them.

If this is you, I have a free training for you:

“10 Important Tips to Improve Your Relationship with Your Young Adult.”
Click here to download your free copy

You'll be surprised at some of these tips, and you'll feel like you finally have a road map to navigate this tricky time in your life and your child's life.

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Episode 100 - Finding Joy part 7 - Compassion

Compassion is a vital part of finding and reaching for joy. Joy is about embracing the entire human experience – the good, the bad, and the really hard. Compassion is the 7th pillar, and one of the pillars of the heart. When we use this pillar of compassion, we see the shared humanity within all of us and we connect more with others, and that in itself helps us to reach for joy.

Take away #1
Compassion connects you to other humans. This is vital to your biological need to be a part of a group. Your shared humanity with others and the ability to connect with others through that shared humanity can help you find joy.

Take away #2
When you have compassion for yourself, you naturally will begin to extend it to others. Second great commandment – love others as you love yourself. Can’t love others when you can’t love yourself. We are the most joyful when we focus on others.

Challenge
Kristin Neff is a self-compassion expert. She has a short test on her website that measures the elements of self-compassion (self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness) and the things that get in the way (self-judgment, isolation, and over-identification). Go take the test and sign up for her emails. This will help you see what you need to pay attention to in your own life in developing compassion.
www.self-compassion.org

Are you the parent of a young adult? Were you surprised when you got to this stage of life that it’s harder to be the parent of a young adult than the parent of a teenager? I sure was. Here’s the thing – you can’t parent your young adult the same way your parents did. If you try to do that, you could do some real damage to your relationship with them.

If this is you, I have a free training for you:

“10 Important Tips to Improve Your Relationship with Your Young Adult.”
Click here to download your free copy

You'll be surprised at some of these tips, and you'll feel like you finally have a road map to navigate this tricky time in your life and your child's life.

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Episode 99 - Finding Joy part 6 - GratitudeThe Finding Joy series is based on the 8 pillars of joy outlined in The Book of Joy by Archbishop Desmond Tutu and The Dalai Lama. Gratitude is the 2nd pillar of the heart. So much has been documented about the benefits of gratitude, so I wanted to take a different approach to this important pillar.
Take away #1When you practice being grateful for what you have each day, you are combatting the negativity bias in your own brain.

Take away #2
When you allow yourself to receive gratitude from others, you allow others to positively influence who you believe you are. The more favorably you view yourself, the more you will allow yourself to be flexible, take chances, speak up, connect with others – GROW in so many ways.

Your weekly Challenge
Every day this week, write down 3 things you are grateful for. Don’t repeat anything. After day 2 or 3, it might be hard to find something, and that’s a good thing! It will force your brain to begin looking beyond the normal things. After you write down what you’re grateful for, sit still for 5 minutes and allow your body to feel the gratitude. Be very aware of what gratitude feels like in your body.

Are you the parent of a young adult? Were you surprised when you got to this stage of life that it’s harder to be the parent of a young adult than the parent of a teenager? I sure was. Here’s the thing – you can’t parent your young adult the same way your parents did. If you try to do that, you could do some real damage to your relationship with them.

If this is you, I have a free training for you:

“10 Important Tips to Improve Your Relationship with Your Young Adult.”
Click here to download your free copy

You'll be surprised at some of these tips, and you'll feel like you finally have a road map to navigate this tricky time in your life and your child's life.

View Details

Episode 98 Finding Joy part 5 - ForgivenessThis is the first pillar of the heart – the emotional center of our bodies. Forgiveness is not an easy thing to do and if you’re tempted to bypass this episode, please stop and consider I might talk about forgiveness differently than you are expecting me to.

Any emotion we experience is something we should pay attention to. Emotions are the truth-tellers in our bodies and when we take the time to learn from them, we become more grounded and confident in our own lives – we are more likely to be able to find the Joy we are seeking.

Takeaway #1

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself it’s an inside job. And everything that is given to us in the form of a commandment is a gift from loving heavenly parents who want you to grow and mature and forgiving yourself and others is a vital part of that growth and maturity.

Takeaway #2

Allowing yourself to learn from the hurt you experienced will help you move forward. Use each and every experience in your life to be a learning and growing experience.

Challenge

Here’s your challenge for today. And this is something that I took from another book by Desmond Tutu called the Book of forgiveness. And I think this can be really powerful if you’re willing to take this challenge. So he said, Get a stone, not a pebble and not a boulder, something that you can hold in your hand, that has some weight to it. So something that is going to not be super easy to hold on to, because you’re going to hold on to it for six hours, in your non-dominant hand.

Now, for six hours, do not put the stone down for any reason. For the entire six hours, you could even go longer than six hours, if you want to really lean into this challenge this week.

That is the challenge is to hold on to that stone for six hours.

And then after, after you’ve done this, get out your journal, and write about the experience. Ask yourself these questions:

• What did I notice about carrying this stone?
• When did I notice it the most?
• Did it hinder any of my activities? Was it ever useful?
• In what ways was carrying this stone like carrying around this unforgiving hurt?
• And then make a list of the people that you need to forgive in your life?
• And then make another list of all those who you want to have forgive you?

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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Episode 97, Finding Joy part 4 - Acceptance

This is the 4th episode in the Finding Joy series. Once you have been able to step back and see your circumstances with a wider perspective, found humility and let go of your ego, let yourself find humor in yourself through it all, it is much easier to come to acceptance for where you are and what you are experiencing. Acceptance is difficult to do when you are busy telling yourself things and people in your life should be different. But, it is a vital step in finding joy in your life. You literally can’t find joy without coming to accept what is.

Acceptance is the 4th pillar of joy and the 4th pillar of the mind. Listen to these episodes to learn about the first three pillars:

Episode 95: Perspective

Episode 96: Humility

Episode 97: Humor

The Finding Joy series is based on the book, "The Book of Joy" by Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

For the month of April 2023, the $25 fee for this call will be waived.

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Episode 96 - Finding Joy part 3 - Humor

This is the third episode in a series of eight podcasts on creating joy in our lives. The eight pillars of joy are outlined in The Book of Joy by Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Dalai Lama. Using humor to lighten a situation can help us to find solutions to the problems we face.

Take away #1

When we focus on the problems, all we see is problems and they will take over and become bigger. Feel your emotions, calm yourself down and focus on the solution, not the problem. Humor is a powerful weapon in helping to calm ourselves down so we can get to a state of mind to be able to focus on the solution.

Take away #2
Connecting with other people – social connection, is one common denominator in all the pillars of joy. Trying to see the humor in a situation, in you, will help you to connect with others. It puts you and those around you at ease. It lessens the drama and allows you to calm down. It brings safety into a situation. Humor connects people on an emotional level. You don’t need to disparage yourself or anyone else. You can laugh at yourself while accepting your humanness and the humanness of everyone around you.

Weekly Challenge:

Next time you notice yourself getting defensive, angry, disappointed, or any other hard emotion, ask yourself, “Where can I find the humor in this?” Just notice how this will help you to put other people at ease and the situation will become resolved more quickly.

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

For the month of April 2023, the $25 fee for this call will be waived.

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Episode 95 - Finding Joy, part 2 - HumilityFeeling joy is different than being happy. Happiness is found in the circumstances of our lives, joy is found in the way we live our lives no matter what the circumstances. In The Book of Joy, the Dalia Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu give us 8 pillars of joy. The second pillar is humility. It’s about finding connection with each other and value and divinity within ourselves and others. 

Look at the pillar of humility through the eyes of a coach – why it’s important, what gets in our way, and how we can move past the obstacles to developing humility. 

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

For the month of April 2023, the $25 fee for this call will be waived.

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Episode 094 – Finding Joy part 1: Perspective

Adam fell that we might be; and we are that we might have joy. How is that joy going for you? Are you feeling joyful?! You probably struggle to feel real joy and are just trying to make it through another day, week, or month. We really can find joy in our lives, no matter what is happening, because joy doesn’t have to do with the circumstances of our lives, it has to do with the way we engage with the world. When you find joy in your life, that naturally carries over into how you approach your relationships and you will positively affect all those around you. Join me in the finding joy series and find more joy in your life. 

For the month of April, the $25 fee for the one-time coaching call is waived! Lucky you! Take advantage of this while you can, and grab your spot while you can. Space is limited. 

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

For the month of April 2023, the $25 fee for this call will be waived.

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Episode 93 Your Journey through the Know, Love, Grow Model

When you’re in the middle of a difficult trial, it can be very hard to get perspective. It’s very easy to be reactive, to not see the situation clearly, and to get caught up in the emotion of it all. When we do this, we are allowing ourselves to play into the victim mindset our brains want to drag us into. When you know how to get perspective, you begin to see where you power lies and you become the hero on your own life. You become a person who is acting and not being acted upon. Join me in this episode to see where you can find your hero energy and stay out of the victim role.

Grab the free downloads that go along with the Know, Love, Grow Model

Getting to Know Yourself - 30 Journaling Questions

Combatting Shame

Developing Emotional Maturity

I would love to be your mentor as you go through your own Hero’s Journey of life and take you through my signature coaching program “Your Journey.” This is 1-1 coaching relationship, not a group program, and spots are limited. If you are interested in what this looks like for you, set up a free coaching call with me. I usually charge for this call, but for the month of April, I will be waiving this fee.

CLICK HERE to set up your call.

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

For the month of April 2023, the $25 fee for this call will be waived.

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Episode 92 – GROW Recap

This episode is my summary and takeaways from the GROW episodes in MARCH

The Know, Love, Grow series is all about how you spiral up, and grow in your own life, and in turn, how that carries over into your relationships with your family members. The greatest influence you can have on others is to live your life in such a way that shows them what is possible. You communicate volumes just by the way you are being in the world. This doesn’t require you to say anything. If you want to have a positive influence on your family, look at who you are being in those relationships first. The Know, Love, Grow series is designed specifically to help you go through this process.

My Take Aways:

2:50 - Growth isn’t supposed to be easy, but it also doesn’t have to be hard

6:00 - Hating ourselves better doesn’t work

7:50 - Avoiding hard things isn’t growth

9:25 – Growth doesn’t just happen because you get older – it happens because you choose to make it happen.

11:15 - Growth doesn’t mean doing more

13:10 - You need to have a way to remind Yourself of what you’re doing and why you’re doing it

14:25 - There is no magic place you’re trying to get to

Start using the Know, Love, Grow process for yourself by downloading my free trainings:

Download my free pdf worksheet with 30 journaling questions to begin to know yourself better:

Download HERE

When you begin to discover new things about yourself and know yourself better, this has the tendency to bring up some hard emotions and one of the biggest ones is shame. At it’s core, shame says to us, “There’s something wrong with me.”

We easily get stuck in thinking there is something wrong with us, and when we get stuck there, we can’t access the very thing we need to grow.

To help you work through any shame you may be experiencing, download this free worksheet: Download here

One of the most important ways you can grow is to grow emotionally and develop emotional maturity. Use this worksheet to help you begin learning to apply emotional maturity in your own life: Download here

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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Episode 91 – Growing Through Developing Emotional Maturity

Emotional maturity is a super power, but very few people have this super power because no one teaches us how to develop it. We rarely have seen emotional maturity modeled for us, so we don’t even know it’s something that is available to us and a trait we can work to develop.

Growing yourself up emotionally is a skill that if you develop, it has the possibility to positively affect your life and the lives of your family more than any other skill you can work to develop.

Listen to this episode to recognize how emotional immaturity is showing up in your life and how to begin working on developing the skill of emotional maturity.

I have a free download for you to begin working on developing this skill for yourself:CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

You can still grab these two free downloads that correspond to the Know, Love, Grow series. Get them now before they go away!

January Free Download – 30 Journaling questions to get to know yourself better: Click HERE

February Free Download – Combatting Shame: Click HERE

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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Episode 90 - Growing through conflict with Crystal Hansen

Conflict is inevitable in relationships. But What do you do when it shows up? Maybe you try to brush it under a rug, move on and forget, or maybe you do a lot of arguing and fighting. If you’re doing either of those, you’re not moving a relationship forward by using conflict as your teacher. Crystal Hansen, the couples conflict coach, is here today to show us why and how we can grow through conflict.

This is the third episode of GROW month in the Know, Love, Grow model.

Developing emotional maturity is one skill that carries over into many areas of your life. Everyone wants it, but few people have it. Download this free worksheet to begin developing this skill for yourself:CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

You can still grab these two free downloads that correspond to the Know, Love, Grow series. Get them now before they go away!

January Free Download – 30 Journaling questions to get to know yourself better: Click HERE

February Free Download – Combatting Shame: Click HERE

To listen to more on the Four Horsemen – listen to Episode 58 “Four Relationship Killers and What to Do About Them

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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Episode 89 – Growing from Scarcity or Growing from Abundance

The way we talk to ourselves when we are trying to move forward and grow is very important. We can grow from a place on thinking we aren’t good enough and we need to improve so we are finally worthy. This is growing from scarcity and it doesn’t ever produce the growth that is lasting and meaningful.

We can choose to grow because we want to move forward and improve because we care about ourselves and our own development. This is growing from abundance and will produce deep roots of self-confidence.

This is the second episode of GROW month in the Know, Love, Grow model.

Developing emotional maturity is one skill that carries over into many areas of your life. Everyone wants it, but few people have it. Download this free worksheet to begin developing this skill for yourself:CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

You can still grab these two free downloads that correspond to the Know, Love, Grow series. Get them now before they go away!

January Free Download – 30 Journaling questions to get to know yourself better: Click HERE

February Free Download – Combatting Shame: Click HERE

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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Episode 88 – Personal and Relational Growth, with Aimee Gianni, GROW part 1

March is GROW month in the Know, Love, Grow series. There have been some really great episodes on KNOW in January and LOVE in February. It would be helpful to get caught up on those if you haven’t already watched them.

When we know who we are, and we work on accepting and loving ourselves right where we are in our lives, we can begin to grow.

Growth sounds really great and exciting, but it can also be hard, uncomfortable, and a little scary at times.

Join me (Tina Gosney) and Aimee Gianni (a Coach and Marriage and Family Therapist) as we discuss what gets in the way of our growth, what real growth looks like, and how we can be kind to ourselves as we go through this process.

Aimee and I talk about developing Emotional Maturity. Most people have never had this modeled for them, so I’ve created a free download for you to help you work on this. CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

January Free Download – 30 Journaling questions to get to know yourself better: Click HERE

February Free Download – Combatting Shame: Click HERE

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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Episode 87 - KNOW Recap

The Know, Love, Grow series is all about how you move forward in your own life, and in turn, you can begin to move forward in your relationships with your family members. The greatest influence you can have on others is to live your life in such a way that shows them what is possible. You communicate volumes just by the way you are being in the world. This doesn’t require you to say anything. If you want to have a positive influence on your family, look at who you are being in those relationships first. The Know, Love, Grow series is designed specifically to help you go through this process.

If you want to have a positive influence in the lives of your family members, help them to grow and achieve the wonderful things you see in store for them, this is the series you need. Follow along on this podcast for the first three months of 2023 as I show you what it means to Know, Love, and Grow.

Start this process for you!

Download my free pdf worksheet with 30 journaling questions to begin to know yourself better:

Download HERE

When you begin to discover new things about yourself and know yourself better, this has the tendency to bring up some hard emotions and one of the biggest ones is shame. At it’s core, shame says to us, “There’s something wrong with me.”

We easily get stuck in thinking there is something wrong with us, and when we get stuck there, we can’t access the very thing we need to grow.

To help you work through any shame you may be experiencing, download this free worksheet: Download here

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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#086 – Developing love and acceptance through self-compassion and curiosity

When we open ourselves up to look at the parts of ourselves we don’t like, it can be hard to accept them, let alone come to love that part of who we are. Sometimes we just want to put that unacceptable part of us back in the bottle and pretend we never saw it. But, if we do that, we are denying part of who we are and we stunt our own growth. Self-compassion can be the answer. It’s a powerful tool, and when we layer curiosity together with compassion, it might just be the very thing you need to move forward. If you’re struggling to find acceptance for yourself or others, this is your episode.

Links mentioned in this podcast:

Kristin Neff: https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/

Episode 42: The Power of Curiosity

January Download: Getting to Know Yourself

February Download: Combatting Shame

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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Episode 85 – Loving Yourself Takes Courage, LOVE part 3

Jennifer Finlayson-Fife said:

It’s a moral act to love ourselves. Loving yourself is not about feeling good about yourself so much as it is about accepting yourself and investing in your own growth and development. It’s about doing hard things for the benefit of your development, just as you would do hard things for the benefit of your child’s development. That’s what love is. It takes courage because there aren’t guarantees.

This week’s episode is the 3rd installment of the LOVE episodes in the KNOW, LOVE, GROW model. Brent Bartel and I talk about how loving ourselves and investing in our own development is a courageous act.

Brent Bartel is a certified Life Coach. If you would like to contact him, email him at bartelcoaching@gmail.com

When you begin to get to know all the different parts of you, especially the parts that wanted to stay hidden, it can easily bring up shame. Shame tells you to hide that piece of you because it’s not acceptable for others to know that about you.

To help you combat shame, I’ve created a free worksheet for you to download:

Download February’s training – Combatting Shame with Courage, Compassion, and Connection

If you missed the last free training, you can still get it here:

Download January’s pdf training – 30 journaling questions to get to know yourself better

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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#084 – Acceptance, Rejection, and Resignation

Love and acceptance are the bridge that take us from knowing who we are to be able to change and grow in our own lives. But, we often have such a hard time loving and accepting ourselves and the circumstances of our lives. When we don’t get to love and acceptance, it blocks us from the very thing we need to access in order to help ourselves.

This episode addresses the near and far enemies to acceptance, which are resignation and rejection. It’s easy to see and identify when we are rejecting ourselves, but it’s harder to see when we resign ourselves and give up trying to accept something we don’t like and don’t see how we can change. Resignation is a near enemy to love and acceptance. Listen to this episode to see how these near and far enemies might be getting in your way.

To help you find love and acceptance, I’ve created a free worksheet for you to download:

Download February’s training – Combatting Shame with Courage, Compassion, and Connection

If you missed the last free training, you can still get it here:

Download January’s pdf training – 30 journaling questions to get to know yourself better

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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Episode 83 – LOVE part 1: Finding Love For Who You Are, with Aimee Gianni

This month I’ll be talking about the LOVE part of the KNOW, LOVE, GROW model for well-being. Once we start being more aware of ourselves, who we are, and what we have been creating in our own lives, it almost always brings up shame for us. But, shame will block us from the very thing we need to be able to move forward. Aimee Gianni and I have a conversation about how love and acceptance are the connecting piece between knowing who we are and growing into the next version of ourselves.

When we work on ourselves and work through the Know, Love, Grow process, many relationship problems will take care of themselves. Another benefit from doing this work is that as YOU do the work, your family will see it (eventually!) and you will become a person who has more influence on those around you.

To help you combat shame, I’ve created a free worksheet for you to download:

Download February’s training – Combatting Shame with Courage, Compassion, and Connection

If you missed the last free training, you can still get it here:

Download January’s pdf training – 30 journaling questions to get to know yourself better

Want to hear more from Aimee?

Sign up for Aimee's Love Notes

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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Episode 82 – KNOW Recap

This episode is my summary and takeaways from the KNOW episodes in January. 

The Know, Love, Grow series is all about how you spiral up in your own life, and in turn, how that carries over into your relationships with your family members. 

If you want to have a positive influence in the lives of your family members, help them to grow and achieve the wonderful things you see in store for them, this is the series you need. Follow along on this podcast for the first three months of 2023 as I show you what it means to Know, Love, and Grow.

Start this process for you!

Download my free pdf worksheet with 30 journaling questions to begin to know yourself better:

Download HERE

Referred to in the podcast: Episode 63 – Processing Emotions

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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Episode 81 – KNOW part 4 – Knowing Yourself Through Self-Confrontation

This is the 4th episode in the Know, Love, Grow series.

Self-confrontation is the willingness to take an honest look at the parts of us we really don’t want to see- the parts of us we choose to keep hidden from ourselves and others because they are too painful to see.

Self-confrontation is a way we can grow ourselves up emotionally. It’s not an easy thing to do, but if you are willing to look at yourself honestly and open yourself up to the things you don’t really want to know about yourself, you have the potential for exponential growth.

We will each have discomfort in our lives. We can accept unproductive growth of not embracing self-confrontation, or we can choose to move into productive grown with self-confrontation. You get to choose with discomfort you allow in your life.

I have a free pdf for you – 30 journaling questions to help you begin to know yourself better. Click below to download

DOWNLOAD THE FREE PDF TRAINING HERE

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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Episode 80 - KNOW part 3, How Parents are Making Their Young Adults' Lives Harder, with Clarice Paulson and Caleb PriceThis episode is the 3rd in the KNOW, LOVE, GROW series and is all about getting to know your children better, specifically your young adult.

Download a free pdf training – 30 journaling questions to help you begin to know yourself on a new and deeper level. This is the first step in creating your own strong foundation for your life and relationships.

Download here

Episode 19: Parents' Hardest Questions Answered with Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

A special thank you to Clarice Paulson and Caleb Price for being open and honest in the questions I asked them.

I have coached many parents, and also coached many young adults. I have seen how often both groups are misunderstanding each other and working against each other instead of together.

The two main ways Clarice and Caleb said parents are making their lives harder are:

1 – Parents are trying to limit their YA choices and take away their agency because they are afraid of the choices their YA will make. They don’t want to allow their YA to experience failure and the consequences of their actions, so they are trying to control what their YA’s life looks like.

2 – When young adults are making choices and they are not the ones the parents want them to make, the parents are labeling themselves as a failure as a parent. Parents are putting their own value and success on the line depending on what choices their YA makes, and that puts a tremendous amount of pressure on their YA.

Tune in after the interview for my insights into how you can start to combat these issues in your parenting and in your family.

Want to contact Clarice?

https://www.balancedrecovery.coach/

https://www.instagram.com/coachingbyclarice/

Want to contact Caleb?

http://www.calebpricecoaching.com/

https://www.instagram.com/calebthecollegecoach/

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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Episode 79 – KNOW part 2, Expectations and Your Family, with Leah Davidson

This is the 2nd episode in the Know, Love, Grow series.

Have you ever taken a personality test to get to know yourself better? This week’s episode is all about getting to know yourself better through different personality tests. I focus on one test in particular – The 4 Tendencies. I focused on this particular test because the #1 problem I coach people on is their unmet expectations. My clients are not meeting the expectations they have for themselves and their family members are not meeting the expectations my clients have for them. Lots of disappointment shows up in both circumstances.

The 4 Tendencies test gives us information about ourselves that can be very useful in this area! Knowing our natural tendency in how we keep expectations and having this same information about our family members is powerful.

Personality tests can be very powerful, but they can open our eyes to things we don’t want to see about ourselves because they expose our weaknesses. Be open to all of it – including the parts you don’t want to see. Allow it to give you information about yourself that you can decide what to do with when you’re ready.

Knowing who you are, what your strengths are, and taking an honest look at the things you don’t like about yourself is how you begin to accept yourself and then grow yourself.

Are you ready to begin KNOWing yourself better? If you answered “Yes!” you will want to download my free pdf “Coming to KNOW Yourself Better”

You’ll find 30 journaling questions that will help you begin finding out who you are so that you can become more tethered to yourself and have more confidence in who you are and who you are becoming.

DOWNLOAD THE FREE PDF HERE

Do you want to take one (or all) of the personality tests mentioned in this podcast? Links are below.

Via Strengths Test

The 4 Tendencies Test

Enneagram

Want to contact Leah?

Facebook: Leahdavidsonlifecoaching

Instagram: @leahdavidsonlifecoaching

Website: leahdavidsonlifecoaching.com

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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#078 – Coming to Know Who You Are, with Aimee Gianni

Welcome to the first episode in the Know, Love, Grow series. January is dedicated to knowing yourself and knowing your family members in new and different ways. 

The Know, Love, Grow model was created by Aimee Gianni, and she will be a podcast guest the first week of each January, February, and March to teach us about what it really means to Know, Love, and Grow and why it's so important to do to create healthy, happy family relationships. 

Knowing who you are and getting rid of the stories that keep you from growing and connecting with others is foundational work. Doing this work is the work that helps you get what you want most in your life. 

Sign up for Aimee Gianni’s Love Notes: HERE

Download the free pdf to begin working on KNOWING yourself: HERE

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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Episode 77 - Top 5 Lessons Learned in 2022, with Micah Gosney

Micah is back and we talk about some of the things we've learned this year that were significant to us.

Micah's List:
1. Differentiation
2. Thoughts create feelings
3. Letting go of old habits is necessary to become your new self
4. Learning new information and practice using it
5. Learning to access creativity

Tina's list:
1. The stories in our heads are really just stories and we get to choose what story to tell.
2. I can talk to myself more than I listen to myself.
3. I'm in charge of me and make my choices consciously
4. The way you do one thing is the way you do everything.
5. This work doesn't end, you just keep spiraling up through your life.

Happy New Year, and we'll see you in 2023!

Visit my website: tinagosney.com

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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#076 - Let's talk about "Original Grace" by Adam Miller, with Micah GosneyI've saved this episode for the week of Christmas because this book - Original Grace - was pivotal this year in the growth I've experienced this year in understanding grace, justice, Christ, and the Atonement.

Adam Miller, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and a professor of philosophy, and a prolific author of many great books you can find at Deseret Book and on Amazon.

Adam Miller proposes this idea: grace and justice are the same. "It is never morally legitimate to use God's law to judge what someone deserves. Rather, God's law can only be used to judge what good someone needs. "
What someone needs is good for good, and good for evil.

Micah and I read this book together this year and this podcast is a discussion on our thoughts about this book. There is much more in the book we did not cover, and we encourage you to purchase the book and read it for yourself. And, the ideas presented in this podcast are just a few things that stood out to us and were meaningful to us.Purchase Original Grace HERE

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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Episode 75 - Strengthening Your Marriage in Times of Stress, with Aimee GianniYour overall life satisfaction and happiness will directly relate to the connection in your most intimate relationship. Stress can pull you apart from your spouse or you can use it to grow together. It all depends on how you handle it and how you view your spouse during stressful times. Master life coach and Marriage and Family Therapist, Aimee Gianni talks about what to watch out for, what to avoid, and how to grow together with your spouse during difficult times. 

Want to contact Aimee and sign up for her Love Notes?

Website: https://aimeegianni.com/

Instagram: @aimeegiannims

Sign up for Love Notes: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/63925632df727ca7117b05f5

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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Episode 74 – The Pyramid of Influence, What Other People Hear, with Brent Bartel - part 5 of 5

This episode finishes the Pyramid of Influence series. Stephen R. Covey’s Pyramid of Influence tells us how to have ethical and positive influence on other people. Brent Bartel is a certified life coach and spent many years as a Stephen R Covey leadership facilitator.

If you are wanting to have more influence in the life of your family members, but are not sure where to start, these episodes will be a crash course in how to be a more influential person.

12:30 - Prepare your mind and heart before the speech

35:20 - Avoid fight or flight – talk through differences

50:45 - Recognize and take time to teach

54:20 - Agree on limits, rules, expectations, and consequences

1:03:30 - Don’t give up and don’t give in

1:17:00 - Be there at the crossroads

1:28:30 - Train them in the law of the harvest

To contact Brent Bartel, email bartelcoaching@gmail.com

Other podcasts in this series:

The Pyramid of Influence, What Other People See, part 1 CLICK HERE

The Pyramid of Influence, What Other People See, part 2 CLICK HERE

The Pyramid of Influence, What Other People Feel, part 1 CLICK HERE

The Pyramid of Influence, What Other People Feel, part 2 CLICK HERE

If you’re a parent of a young adult, you need my newest free download:
“10 Important Tips to Improve Your Relationship with Your Young Adult”
Parenting definitely doesn’t get easier when your child enters their young adult years, and you need these tips! CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE PDF

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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#073 - Being an LGBTQ+ Family at Church with Allison Dayton from Lift + LoveI’m releasing this episode at the beginning of December for a reason. This month as we celebrate the birth of Christ, I think of it as celebrating the greatest gift of Love that God could give us – the savior Jesus Christ. This episode is about how to love better, how to extend that love to those who are having some trouble finding it in the walls of their church building and church communities.

This topic is close to my heart today and will be very close to the hearts of many special families I know. Allison Dayton, the founder of Lift + Love and I had a conversation about being an LGBTQ family in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It’s not an easy road we walk as we try to navigate our membership and the reality of our families.

If you don’t have an LGBTQ child, I ask you to listen with an open mind and an open heart to the experience of two mothers who do. And if our experience doesn’t match your experience in the church, please respect ours as we respect yours.

There are hundreds, and most likely thousands of families like mine and Allison’s in the church today. So many of us are struggling to feel at home in a place that always felt so much like home and used to be so comfortable, but often isn’t anymore. And because it can be so uncomfortable and feel very unwelcoming at times, many of those families have left.

The Law of Love written by Steve Young

Lift + Love website

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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#072 - Giving and Receiving GratitudeThis is not just another podcast on why you should be grateful! This podcast presents ideas from the Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife.

You will see how cultivating a grateful heart creates joy in your life and puts more joy and happiness into the world. These ideas come from The Book of Joy

I talk about what I've learned from Dr. Fife as I have been taking one of her courses. This includes what true giving and receiving look like and how bad we are each of them.

True giving takes yourself and others into account and what it really needed. It is different than service.

True receiving is allowing ourselves to be influenced by another person. Not allowing ourselves to receive from others is a prideful position and keeps us from expanding ourselves and the goodness in the world.

Listen to this episode to find out more.

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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#071 - Navigating the Holidays with a Mixed-Faith Family, with Jennifer BarnhartIf this is your first holiday season as a mixed-faith family, this is your episode. This is also your episode if you have been a mixed-faith family for a long time and want new ideas of how to celebrate the religious holidays.

Jennifer Barnhart, a fellow life coach, is very intentional in the way she celebrates Christmas and how she connects with God and her family when not everyone believes the same as she does.

To sign up for Jennifer's email: CLICK HERE
To talk with Jennifer: CLICK HERE

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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#70 - The Pyramid of Influence - What Other People Feel, part 2Tina Gosney and Brent Bartel are back to discuss level 2 of Stephen R Covey's Pyramid of Influence - the relationship level and what other people feel when they are around you. This episode is the 4th in a 6 part series on the Pyramid of Influence. Want to listen to the first 3 in the series, click below

Episode 65 - The Pyramid of Influence - What Other People See, part 1
Episode 66 - The Pyramid of Influence - What Other People See, part 2
Episode 69 - The Pyramid of Influence - What Other People Feel, part 1
2:10 - Accept the person and the situation
20:40 - Admit your mistakes, apologize, and ask for forgiveness
29:20 - Assume the best in others
43:50 - Go one on one

Do you want help learning to use the concepts we are teaching in this podcast? Learning is one thing, knowing how to use and implement is another. Set up an appointment with one of us for help.

Email Brent at: bartelcoaching@gmail.com

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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#069 - The Pyramid of Influence - What Other People Feel, part 1Tina Gosney and Brent Bartel continue their discussion on Stephen R. Covey's Pyramid of Influence and in this episode they focus on the 2nd level of influence - what other people feel when they are around you. If you are wishing and wanting to have more influence in the lives of your family members, influence in a non-controlling, authentic, and loving way, this series of discussions will be very helpful.

This episode is the 3rd in the series.
To listen to The Pyramid of Influence, What Other People See part 1: CLICK HERE
To listen to The Pyramid of Influence, What Other People See part 2: CLICK HERE

9:40 - Be influenced by them first
26:15 - The emotional bank account
33:15 - Clarify expectations
39:15 - Seek first to understand, then to be understood

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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#068 – Mastering the “Pause Button” through breathwork

Pausing before you react to difficult people and difficult situations in life is something most people are trying to get better at. One way to gain more control of your reactions is to sustain a daily meditation practice, but most people struggle to make meditation a habit. It’s not an easy habit to adopt. An intentional breathing practice has similar results as meditation, but is much easier to adapt and maintain. This episode outlines why we are living in a constant state of stress and why a breathing practice can help you to manage that stress. 

CLICK HERE to watch the Breathing Class referred to in this podcast.

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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#067 – Learning from Failure

No one wants to fail, but everyone does. It doesn’t really matter how many times you fail, but it does matter what you do after you fail. Especially when you have fails in your family relationships. You can dwell on those failures for days, weeks, even years. Or you can take time to learn from them. We never fail at anything if we take the time to learn, make amends, and then try to do better next time. Listen to this episode to learn a powerful tool you can use to learn from your fails.

Are you wondering if coaching is right for you? I offer a one-time, 50 minute coaching call at a highly discounted price of $25 so you can try it out and see what coaching is all about.

Bring your relationship problem you're stuck in and work on it with me. We can do a lot of work in 50 minutes. I'll see you on our call.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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Learn more about Tina Gosney through her website:
tinagosney.com

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#065 - The Pyramid of Influence with Brent Bartel, part 1If you're a parent, you probably wish you had more influence on your children than you do. But, how do you make that happen?

Brent Bartel, a coach, and Tina Gosney talk about Stephen R Covey's Pyramid of Influence in his book, "Principle-Centered Leadership"
and how to begin having more influence on the people you love the most. This is episode is part 1 of 2 as Brent and Tina discuss just the bottom level of the pyramid - Modeling.

Want to contact Brent Bartel? Email him at: bartelcoaching@gmail.com

If you want to learn how to react less and respond more, manage your stress, and feel more balanced in your life, sign up for the free webinar:
Breathing for Life
October 18
October 20
October 26

Learn more about Tina Gosney through her website:
tinagosney.com

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If you're a parent, you probably wish you had more influence on your children than you do. But, how do you make that happen?

Brent Bartel, a coach, and Tina Gosney talk about Stephen R Covey's Pyramid of Influence in his book, "Principle-Centered Leadership"
and how to begin having more influence on the people you love the most. This is episode is part 2 of 2 as Brent and Tina discuss just the bottom level of the pyramid - Modeling.

Want to contact Brent Bartel? Email him at: bartelcoaching@gmail.com

If you want to learn how to react less and respond more, manage your stress, and feel more balanced in your life, sign up for the free webinar:
Breathing for Life
October 18
October 20
October 26

Learn more about Tina Gosney through her website:
tinagosney.com

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#064 – The Way Other People Treat You Gives You Information

When you feel mistreated by another person, it is easy to become very reactive, to feel victimized, angry, and justified in your reactions. But that doesn’t have to happen. The way another person acts towards you gives you information about them and what is going on inside of them. The way you react to them tells you and them what is going on inside of you. 

Takeaways:

1: What another person does and says to you gives you information about them.

2: What you say or do to the other person gives you information about you.

Challenge:

Identify a person you are not getting along with. Write down all the thoughts you have about this person. Take a look at those thoughts. They are creating the feelings you are having about them. Is this the way you want to feel?

Want to become less reactive, more peace and greater resilience? Sign up for my free breathing class – 

Breathing for Life

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

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#063 – Processing Emotions

I’ve helped hundreds of people process emotions and I can help you too. Don’t let your emotions take you for a ride and drive you around. You can get back in the driver’s seat of your own life if you know how to process them and learn from them. Listen to this episode to learn how. 

Set up a 50-minute call with me and let me help you learn how to process your emotions. Let’s talk about the emotions that keep coming back for you and creating problems in your life. I’ll walk you through processing so you can see how this will work for you. 

Cost = $25

No obligation required

CLICK HERE to set up your call

Register for the Breathing for Life Class

If you want to see results like:

1.       Reduced stress and anxiety

2.       Better sleep

3.       Better digestion

4.       Increase energy

5.       More brain focus

All of these effects show a managed nervous system and will help you be less reactive to the people and circumstances in your life.

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

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#062 Let People Tell You Things You Don’t Want to Hear

Warning! This podcast will cover an advanced topic that is helpful after you have done the foundational work. Of course, you can listen to this episode without learning the basics first, but you will get more out of it if you have listened to the foundational topics beforehand. 

If you have not done foundational work yet, listen to these podcasts first:

·         #6 – How to Find Emotional Resilience

·         #17 – Why Your Thoughts are So Important

·         #42 – The Power of Curiosity

·         #50- Doing Hard Things Makes Life Easier

·         #53 – “Do I like the person I’m being in this relationship?” A Question to Ask Yourself

Breathing for Life Webinar - September 21

Why do you want to register?

·         Better sleep

·         Better digestion

·         Reduced stress

·         Feel more grounded

And a special bonus from learning breathing techniques – it will help you slow down and not be so reactionary to the people and circumstances in your life. 

Less reactionary = you feel more in control of your own life = better relationships

Better relationships = more fulfilling life

CLICK HERE to register and I’ll see you there

(it’s free)

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#061 – Slow Down and Stop Being so Reactive

One thing I teach my clients is to slow down their reactions to other people and choose intentionally how they want to respond. Most people struggle with this! So, if you’re one of those people, you’re in good company!

Being reactive – saying and doing things you regret later – has a lot to do with your nervous system and letting it be in charge. You can begin to change this response in yourself when you work on breathing intentionally to manage your nervous system.

If this is something you want to learn how to do, join me in a free upcoming webinar:

Breathing for Life

CLICK HERE to register

Some additional benefits from learning to breathe intentionally and manage your nervous system:

·         Reduce stress and anxiety

·         Increase digestion

·         Better sleep

·         More energy

·         Improve mental focus

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#060 – Stop Beating Yourself Up for Not Being Better in the Past

If you’re one of the many people who are stuck beating yourself up for things you’ve done in the past, telling yourself you’re a failure, listen to this episode.

Focusing on the past not only keeps you from moving forward, but it also keeps you stuck in emotions that keep you feeling the failure from the past. It keeps you from being able to move forward in your mind and with your emotions. 

Listen to this episode to learn two take aways to begin thinking about the past differently and release the emotions that you are having trouble letting go of. 

To begin working on this in YOUR life, set up a call with me. I offer a special discount for podcast listeners to help you apply the things you are learning in the podcast and how to apply these takeaways in your life. 

Set up a 50-minute call with me and see how it works. 

Cost = $25

No obligation required

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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#059 – Family Vacations and Reunions – wanting everyone to get along and have a good time.

Wanting for everyone to get along and have a good time when you get together is perfectly normal, and it’s a common desire in the people I work with. But it’s also something you have no control over and something that gets you upset when things go awry. You don’t have control over how someone else thinks, feels, or acts, and trying to control those things in another person causes a lot of frustration and exhaustion. 

If this sounds like your family, listen to this podcast before your next family vacation or family reunion. 

I’m ready to help you manage yourself before your next family vacation or reunion and learn how to apply the things you learn in this episode to your life.

I’ve helped many people apply these tools in their lives, and I can help you too.

Set up a 50-minute call with me and see how it works. 

Cost = $25

No obligation required

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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#058 Four Relationship Killers and What to Do About Them

There are definite road signs that signal trouble in a family. They start gradually and then begin to build up over time. If you leave them unchecked, they take over and can kill the relationships. 

These signs are taken from Dr. John Gottman at the Gottman Institute. He calls them the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse. 

·         Criticism

·         Contempt

·         Defensiveness

·         Stonewalling

Find out how these relationship killers are showing up in your family and what you can do to begin solving them. 

Gottman Institute

I would love to help you figure out how to root out these 4 relationship killers from your family relationships. 

I’ve helped many people begin moving their family relationships in a different direction and I can help you too.

Set up a 50 minute call with me and see how it works. 

Cost = $25

No obligation required

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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#056—W.A.I.T.? Before You Talk

If you’re the parent of a Young Adult, you’re probably making one of the mistakes I outline in this podcast when you’re talking to your child. 

I know this because I’ve been coaching a lot of young adults lately, and they’ve been telling me what their parents are doing when they try to talk with them. What feels like helping, is actually hurting your child, and it’s hurting the relationship. 

Listen to this episode to find out why you will want to (W.A.I.T. Why Am I Talking?) before you speak. 

Set up a 50-minute call with me for only $25. 

We will talk about where you are now, where you want to be, and together work up a plan to get you there.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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#056 - Creating the Relationship You Want to HaveIf you're feeling hurt and stuck in a relationship you want to be different, this episode will help you start to move forward.

If you do things the way you've always done them, you'll get the same results you've always had.
So, start doing something different. Start moving forward. Start showing up differently.

Listen to this episode to learn more.

Would you like some help learning how to make this work for you?
Set up a free 30-minute help call with me.
I'll show you how you can apply what you learn in this podcast to your own life.
CLICK HERE to set up the call.

My website: tinagosney.com

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#055 - Forgiveness as a Path to Personal Healing
There are many things that get in the way of us forgiving others, and most of the time when we think we’ve forgiven someone, we’ve actually stuffed down our feelings and tried to numb ourselves to the pain of how we’ve been hurt in an attempt to get past it. This doesn’t work. Listen to this episode to learn a 4-step process for actually moving past the pain and getting to true forgiveness. 

Are you having trouble forgiving someone? I can help you work through the hurt you’re experiencing and get to the place or healing and wholeness again.

This episode goes hand in hand with episode #54 “Apologizing Will Help Repair and Strengthen a Relationship”

Set up a free 30-minute call with me

We will talk about where you are now, where you want to be, and together work up a plan to get you there.

CLICK HERE to set up your call

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Bonus Episode

Sign up for the “How to Have a Hard Conversation without the Overwhelm” workshop

July 21, 11:00 am – 12:30 pm

$17

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

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#053—Apologizing will help repair and strengthen a relationship

Most apologies are not true apologies, and they actually add more hurt on top of the person who was hurt. Listen to this episode to learn the 9 most essential ingredients of a true apology. Using these tools will help you to repair hurts that were done and strengthen a relationship so it can move forward in safety. 

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#053—“Do I like the person I’m being in this relationship?” – A question to ask yourself.

My website: tinagosney.com

If you’re like most people, you want to change the people in your life. But, you can’t actually do that, and it causes problems in your family when try to change others.

Your power lies in how YOU show up, no matter what. Asking yourself this question: “Do I like the person I’m being in this relationship?” is a very powerful self-reflection question that can help you make decisions AND begin moving relationships in a different direction. 

Sign up for my FREE masterclass:

“3 Secrets to Repair Your Family Relationships”

June 30, 4:00-5:00 MT

CLICK HERE TO GET REGISTERED

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#052 – When life’s storms hit, what are you going to do?

Sometimes life looks a lot different than you thought it was going to and it’s really easy to dwell on the disappointments or frustrations of things not being as you had planned. You get to determine what your experience is in your own life. No one else determines that for you. 

My website: tinagosney.com

Attend my free class:

3 Secrets to Repairing Your Family Relationships

June 30, 4:00-5:00 MT

CLICK HERE to register

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#051 – Is My Child Identifying as LGBTQ a Phase?

Heather Frazier from Pivot Parenting Podcast is a good friend of mine and is also a fellow life coach who specializes in coaching parents of teens. In this episode we discuss one of the common things we have parents say to us, which is parents saying they think their child identifying as LGBTQ is just a phase and they are bending to peer pressure.

If you’ve had these thoughts with YOUR child, no matter how old they are, you’ll want to listen to this episode. No matter what your opinions are on the LGBTQ community, you will find value in this episode.

Find out more about me on my website: tinagosney.com and on FB and IG @tinagosneycoaching

You can find Heather at:

Facebook and Instagram: @heatherfraziercoaching

Website: https://heatherfrazier.com/

Want to win $100 Amazon gift card?! I’m giving one away!

Leave me a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts before June 8, 2022, and be entered in a contest to win.

Here’s how to enter:

1. Go to Apple Podcasts

2. Search Parenting Through the Detour

3. On the show page (not an episode page) scroll down to the bottom to the “Ratings & Reviews” section

4. Click on “Write a Review”

5. Email a copy of your review to tina@tinagosney.com before June 7, 11:59pm PT

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#050—Doing hard things makes life easier

My website: tinagosney.com

Doing easy things makes life hard. Doing hard things makes life easy. This especially applies to how we approach our relationships with our family members. When you allow yourself to be reactionary to things that happen, you create a harder situation for yourself in the future. Listen to this episode to find out how you are doing the easy things that are making your relationships harder. 

Want to win $100 Amazon gift card?! Leave me a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts before June 8, 2022, and be entered in a contest to win.

Here’s how to enter:

1.       Go to Apple Podcasts

2.       Search Parenting Through the Detour 

3.       On the show page (not an episode page) scroll down to the bottom to the “Ratings & Reviews” section 

4.       Click on “Write a Review”

5.       Email a copy of your review to tina@tinagosney.com by June 7, 11:59pm PT

You must email a copy of the review to be officially entered

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#049 – Recognizing Grief and How it Shows Up, with Stephanie Pickle

Grief comes when you lose something that was important to you. It doesn’t just come when someone we love dies, it shows up at other times in our lives when we lose something we value or when our life takes a different turn than we expected, and we lose the life we thought we would have. In this episode, Stephanie and I talk about what grief looks like, how to recognize it in yourself and others, and the importance of letting yourself grieve your loss without judging it. 

Are you struggling to connect with your young adult child? Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, struggling with where they are in their life and the choices they are making, or are you feeling grief because of something you lost that was important to you?

If this sounds like you...
Come to my free Masterclass, May 26, 1:00-2:00 MT

3 Strategies to Begin Healing Your Relationship with Your Young Adult Child: Even if it Feels Impossible Right Now

CLICK HERE TO RESERVE YOUR SPOT

Contact Stephanie Pickle:

Stephaniepicklecoaching.com

https://www.instagram.com/stephanie.pickle.coaching/

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#48 - Conditional vs Unconditional Love

Most people think they know how to unconditionally love the people in their lives. They think they know what that looks like. But, most people have never received unconditional love from anyone in their life, so they don’t actually know what it looks like. This episode details the difference between conditional and unconditional love and some signs that will signal to you that you are giving conditional love

episode 22: Showing Up as Your Best Self During the Holidays

Where are you in your relationship with your young adult child?

If you're feeling:
* like you're on an emotional roller coaster and don't have the ability to get off
* confused and exhausted from walking on eggshells in every interaction
* full of fear because of the choices your child is making
* like a failure because of where your child is and you're blaming yourself
then you will want to attend this webinar.

Learn 3 vital strategies to begin moving that relationship in a different direction. Even if it feels impossible right now, you can start using these strategies today to begin repairing this relationship. Attend this free masterclass to learn these 3 strategies:

“3 Strategies to Being Repairing Your Relationship with Your Young Adult Child” CLICK HERE

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#047 - Mothers - Stop Setting Yourself Up for Failure

This is the second episode in a two part series. Listen to part 1:
Episode 46 - Investing in the Mother is Vital to the Health of the Family

Mother’s Day is only a couple of days away, and if you’re like most mothers, you’re NOT looking forward to it.  Maybe Mother’s Day reminds you of all the ways you think you have come up short and failed. It can be a really painful day when you are caught in the negativity your brain will want to give you about your own performance.  The way we tend to think about being a mother and treat ourselves as mothers is really setting ourselves up for failure. We have created expectations of ourselves and bought into the expectations society has put on us, and no matter what we do, we can’t win. Failure is inevitable. There are shifts you can make that will begin to get you out of this negativity spiral. Listen to this episode for 4 ways you can begin feeling better today. 

My website: tinagosney.com

Download a free pdf training “5 Ways to Feel Better Right Now” CLICK HERE

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#046 - Investing in the Mother is Vital to the Health of the Family
Are you a mother who prioritizes everyone and everything before yourself? If you’re feeling the effects of perfectionism, mom guilt, identity crisis, or burnout, this episode will help you learn why you want to begin putting yourself on the priority list. Putting yourself as a priority is NOT selfish, it is vital to the health of the family. You will be able to love better, serve more, and have more joy in your life when you are a priority in your own life. 

My website: tinagosney.com

Get on my email list CLICK HERE

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#045 - 3 Reasons You Are Struggling Because of Unmet Expectations

The #1 one thing I hear in my coaching sessions is that my clients have unmet expectations in their relationships and they feel terrible because of it. Emotions like: frustration, disappointment, anger, sadness and they get stuck feeling those emotions because the other person is not changing, and then feel terrible. It doesn’t have to be this way. You CAN let go of the negative emotions around those expectations AND you can have a better relationship at the same time. Listen to this episode to find out how. 

Get on my email list CLICK HERE

Episode 39 “Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Kids”

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#044 - Let's Talk About "All Things New" by Fiona and Terryl GivensLanguage is important. The meanings of words are important. This book by the Givens explains how many of the words we use at church do not mean what we traditionally think they mean. The words we use are wounding many members, especially our children as the words they are hearing at church do not feel spiritually in alignment for them. Let’s get back to the true meanings of words like: forgiveness, sin, atonement, heaven, salvation, obedience, repentance, and many more. “All Things New” is an essential book to become familiar with if you are struggling at church, or if someone you love is struggling at church (which probably captures 99% of you).

Get on my email list CLICK HERE

My website: tinagosney.comPurchase "All Things New" on Amazon

Episode 5, “How to Approach Your LGBTQ Child with Love and Understanding"

Episode 41, “What the Heck is Trauma at Church?! A Conversation with Lindsay Poelman”

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**#043 - Stop Reacting and Start Responding
When you react from a really emotional state, you can do some damage to the people around you, and then you end up regretting how you showed up. In this episode with Micah Gosney, we'll show you some ways we have reacted and flipped our lids and how we  show up differently now by responding on purpose. If you are really reactionary or have a very reactionary person in your family, this episode is for you. Learn the techniques we use to ground ourselves when we feel emotionally triggered.

Visit my website at: tinagosney.com*Join my email list* to be the first to hear about upcoming classes.*Youtube video:The Frightened Family*

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#042—The Power of Curiosity

Having trouble not being reactive to the people in your life? Do you find it hard to find patience and love for others when they are not showing you patience and love? When it’s hard to find love, it can be easier to find and hold the emotion of curiosity. This undervalued and underestimated emotion is a super powerful one. In this episode, learn what curiosity looks like and how it can help you become less reactive and a victim of your own nervous system. 

I’ll be offering a free masterclass soon. You’ll want to get on my email list so you receive all the registration details.

Get on my email list CLICK HERE

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#041 – What the Heck is Trauma at Church?! A conversation with Lindsay Poelman

As I have recently learned about how trauma shows up in our lives, in many different ways, and how it affects the ways we then interact with our world, I began to see how trauma has showed up in my life, and in my family members’ lives. I have also had several people tell me their teen, young adult, and adult children have been telling me their child has told them they were traumatized at church. And, the parents are not understanding where their child is coming from and really struggling to understand them. I really wanted to record this episode with Lindsay for all you parents who need and want to further you understanding of trauma so you can begin to open up the conversation with your child. 

Want to contact Lindsay?

https://www.instagram.com/lindsaypoelmancoaching

https://www.lindsaypoelmancoaching.com/

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#040 - Exhausting Yourself with Worry About Your Child

Are you a parent who spends lots of time and mental and emotional energy worrying about your children? Worrying is a useless emotion and does nothing but cause problems. It causes parents to show up dismissive, controlling, disapproving, and disagreeable. Showing up this way doesn’t create an atmosphere where you child even wants to be around you, so you end up knowing even less about their life. Listen to this episode for some ideas about how to move into more useful actions that worry. 

You’ll want to get on my email list to know when I have classes and special offers coming up. Click the link below to join, receive a free pdf 5 Ways to Feel Better Right Now, and I’ll send you some bite-sized bits of wisdom to your inbox each week. JOIN HERE

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#039 – Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Kids

The healthiest relationships have the strongest boundaries. If you are a parent who has trouble establishing boundaries with your adult children, this is your podcast. It can be hard to set a boundary, and then it can also be hard to uphold a boundary once you set it. Often, we are setting boundaries incorrectly and don’t really understand their purpose and how to set a boundary that protects you and eventually strengthens the relationship. This episode will help you understand boundaries better and gives you a few examples of when to set a boundary and what that looks like. 

If you want to be notified about the different classes or programs coming up that can help you heal your family relationships, click below and join my email list. Those people on my list are the first to know what’s coming up and I offer special discounts and bonuses to those on my list. 

CLICK HERE TO JOIN

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#038 – Saying Things You Wish You Never Would Have Said

We’ve all had times when we said something very unkind in the heat of the moment, and it causes damage to a relationship. Sometimes it just seems so hard to control the words that come out of our mouths, and then we have such a terrible feeling afterwards, thinking, “I never should have said that.” This episode addresses why it’s so hard to control ourselves in moments of heated emotions and how you can begin showing up differently at those trying times so you don’t feel so much regret afterwards.

CLICK HERE to apply for the beta program “Healing Your Family Relationships” Applications are due no later than March 7, 2022. Space is limited!

• You will learn a lot about yourself! Be prepared to become much more aware of yourself and others and why you are struggling in your relationships with them.
• You'll be able to get off the emotional roller coaster you've been on. You don't have to wait for someone else to change to feel better. I'll show you how to feel in control for yourself.
• I'll teach you and show you how to implement many of the relationship tools I've used in my own marriage and family, and I use with my clients in my coaching program. It's one thing to learn a tool, it's a completely different skill set to be able to know how to use it. I'll be there, showing you how to apply these tools to your life.
• Click the link today, because there are only a couple of spots left !

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#037- Love and Peace with Your LGBTQ+ Child, with Meagan Skidmore
If you are the parent of an LGBTQ+ child, chances are, that there has been a time when you have felt like your entire world has crumbled and you're trying to put the pieces back together. Or, maybe you're in the middle of that right now, and don't know what to do. Meagan Skidmore and I have been there, and are past that point in our lives and have been able to find peace and a tremendous amount of increased love for our lives and our children, no matter where they are in their journey. Listen to this podcast to find some help for your journey as you navigate this road with your child.

Meagan's website: CLICK HERE

To join the beta launch of a new relationship program I am developing:
CLICK HERE
If you want to find:

• more control over your emotions - get off that emotional roller coaster!
• more connection and authenticity in your relationships with others
• a greater sense of peace and clarity in your life
• more confidence in knowing when and how to set boundaries with others

then you will want to participate in this beta test. Click the link above to apply. Spots are limited and the program begins soon, so fill out the application ASAP

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#036 - Barriers that Get in the Way of Us Loving OthersYour ability to love others will directly affect the quality of the relationship you have with them. There are barriers to feeling loving feelings, and those are common across the board. In this episode I’ll give you 3 of the main barriers to love and why you will want to work on being aware when they are becoming barriers in your relationships.

To begin working on developing better relationships with others, join my beta test for a new program I am getting ready to launch.

APPLY HERE

In this 4-week program, you will:

o Personalized help through the one-on-one coaching sessions. We will specifically target your situation and devise a plan for you to get where you want to be.

o A greater understanding of where you are in your relationship and why. You will learn so much about yourself and about the other people in your life.

o More peace and confidence in yourself, more love and understanding for others, and more clarity about what is happening when problems arise.

o Help with emotions that seem to take you for a roller coaster ride. You will have more understanding of why you are feeling the way you are and what to do with those emotions so they aren't running your life and your relationship anymore.

o Much more

Apply today, because I’m only accepting a few people into this beta test at this discounted price. When the full program is live, the price will be much higher. Get in now while you can!

CLICK HERE TO APPLY

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#035 - Unconditional Love No Matter WhatSometimes it's hard to find love for other people. Sometimes those people who are hard to love are in our own families. This episode is all about finding unconditional love for others, from family members to complete strangers. Loving other people is much more about where you are in your own life, and much less about where someone else is in their life. You CAN love anyone. It is possible for you to think loving thoughts and feel loving feelings towards anyone, and when you do that, you grow as a person.

Download my free training: 5 Ways to Feel Better Right Now - CLICK HERE

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#034 - Finding Love and Connection with Your Adult Child, with Bonnie LymanNo one tells you when you have teenagers that having adult children will be just as tough, often tougher. It's not something anyone with young children or teenagers wants to hear! But, it is true. Having adult children is not easier, it's just a different type of hard. Listen to this episode as I have a discussion with Bonnie Lyman about how she has found love and connection with her adult children, even when, and especially when, it was hard and her children were struggling with things in their lives. 

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#033 – When Parenting Brings up Shame

Even the best of parents has a hard time not allowing their child’s choices to define something about themselves—good or bad. We all get caught up to some degree in Parenting Comparisonitis. The truth is, when your child makes choices you like, you can’t take all the responsibility for that. And when your child makes choices you don’t like, you can’t take all the credit then either. There are so many opportunities as a parent to live in shame and think that you did it all wrong and want to hide parts of yourself and your family from other people. But, hiding will never help you get to a better place and it will keep you living in shame, thinking something is wrong with you and something is wrong with your child. Shame is a major tool Satan uses to keep us stuck where we are and not allow us to grow. Listen to this episode to learn: 

·         What shame looks like when it shows up in your life

·         Three specific tools you can use to combat shame

·         How to begin letting the shame go 

I’m launching a beta version of my new coaching program for parents of adult children. I will only accept a few lucky clients into this beta version, so if you want to be one of them, fill out THIS APPLICATION and let me know why you want to be a part of this program. 

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#032 - Sara Brewer and Overcoming PornographyIt's hard to find a person in the church that hasn't been affected by pornography in one form or another. It's part of the world we live in, and it's infecting our families in so many ways. Sara Brewer, a fellow life coach, is doing so much good in this area right now with her program, "Overcome Pornography for Good." She addresses overcoming a pornography habit in a much different way than you have probably heard before. And she's getting amazing results with the people who have gone through her program. In this episode you will learn:

• why people turn to pornography to cope with negative emotions
• why a fear and shame based approach to overcoming pornography will have the opposite result of what you want
• how the conversation with our youth needs to begin changing to help them have a more healthy view of sex.

To find Sara, visit her website at https://www.sarabrewer.com/ or listen to her podcast HERE
If pornography is an issue in your family, I highly recommend becoming a member of her program. She gives a lifetime access to all the materials and it is well worth the cost. 

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#031 - What Being Emotionally Mature Looks Like in Your LifeIt’s really easy to be reactionary with your family members. We have patterned ways of dealing with problems and with each other and breaking those patterns can be difficult. One of the problems the patterns provide us is that we get stuck not allowing ourselves or the relationship to mature emotionally into a healthier way of addressing issues. This podcast episode addresses what it looks like when you take responsibility for your own emotions and allow others to take responsibility for theirs. Essentially – you let yourself and others grow up emotionally.
Click here to join my email list

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#030 – The Most Efficient and Effective Way to Help Your Family in 2022

The way we usually try to help people is not usually the most effective way to help them, and we don’t even realize there is a better way. In this episode, I’ll talk about a more effective way to help them, and to have influence on the people you love. By prioritizing yourself and developing you, you will bring more of those things you want, like love, peace, understanding, and joy into your life and into your home. 

Start this year off by prioritizing you and coming to my first workshop of the year:

Relationship Reset

Thursdays, January 13-February 3, 10:00-11:00 am MST

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

Use coupon code: BOX2 for a $50 discount

Registration ends January 11, midnight MST

Seinfeld clip where George does the opposite

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#029 What to Do When You and Your Spouse Disagree About Your ChildThis episode is taken from a class I taught earlier in 2021 because I saw so many of my clients coming to their sessions and talking about how the disagreements they were having with their spouse when it came to decisions about how to handle parenting issues. This episode is the audio from an online class, so you will hear me refer to some of the visual aids in the class. 

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#028--Finding Joy in the Middle of Really Difficult Circumstances

When life gets hard, it’s difficult to find any joy in it. I see more and more people going through very difficult circumstances, and I don’t see them getting any easier, so let’s figure out how to have joy in the middle of those hard things. You don’t need to wait to find joy, you can feel it right now, no matter what. Tune into this episode to learn the 8 pillars of joy and how to cultivate those in your life.

Episode #009 – Allowing Yourself to Grieve

Episode #024 – The Importance of Gratitude

Relationship Reset Workshop

Thursdays 10:00-11:00 am MT

January 13 – February 3

Click Here to Register

Discount Code: RESET ($70 discount)

The Book of Joy

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#027 - How Parenting Detours Affect Your Marriage, with Aimee GianniSometimes the parenting road is pretty smooth and easy, and sometimes it gets really rocky. It can almost feel like there’s no road at all and you have to pave a new path in some uncharted territory. When that happens, there’s bound to be some differing opinions about which direction to head and how to get there, and that can put a lot of strain on a marriage. Tune into this episode with Aimee Gianni, LMFT and Master Coach as we talk about some of the ways parenting detours affect marriage and how you can navigate those.

To contact Aimee: visit her website at aimeegianni.com  or follow her on IG: @aimeegiannims

Relationship Reset Workshop
Let's get you started out on a good path in your relationships in 2022! Come to my Relationship Reset workshop and learn some new tools and how to use them as you do a reset on that relationship that needs some work.

Thursdays, January 13-Februrary 3
10:00-11:00 am MT
CLICK HERE TO REGISTER
Use RESET discount code for a $70 savings 

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#026 – When you say, "It's All My Fault”

If there’s one universal thing I hear clients say, it’s, “This is all my fault,” as they list all the ways they think they have failed their child. It’s not helpful to think this way and thinking this way doesn’t lead you to any resolution, it just keeps you stuck right where you are. This episode will address this thinking pattern and show you ways to begin questioning the thoughts you are having as you begin to get unstuck and move forward.

Relationship Reset Workshop

Thursdays, January 13 – February 3

10:00-11:00 am MT

Workshop Cost: $199.00

CLICK HERE to register

Discount Code ($70): RESET

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#025-- Comparing Yourself to Others and Coming Up Short

It’s human nature to look around at other people and compare ourselves to them to see how we measure up. It’s also human nature for us to see how we fall short when we get stuck in comparison. The “compare and despair” mindset is real! Even though it’s natural for us to compare, it doesn’t help us to find love and acceptance for our own life’s circumstances and it can hurt the relationships we have in our own families. 

Join my Relationship Reset Workshop 

Thursdays, January 13-February 3, 10:00 am – 11:00 am MT

CLICK HERE to register

Use code: RESET for a $70 discount

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#024 – The Importance of Gratitude –

“Every day, think as you wake up, ‘I’m fortunate to be alive. I have a precious human life. I am not going to waste it.’” Dalai Lama.

I’ve been reading “The Book of Joy” by the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu. I highly recommend this book if you are looking to find more joy in your life! One of the pillars of joy is gratitude—of course! On this Thanksgiving Day, I’m dedicating this podcast to finding joy through cultivating gratitude in our lives. I’m sharing new ways to look at gratitude and giving you a few ways you can begin to implement a gratitude practice in your life. Enjoy the podcast, and then enjoy your Thanksgiving feast.

The Book of Joy, Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu

CLICK HERE to register for the Relationship Reset workshop in January. Use discount code RESET for a $70 discount

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#023—Allowing Your Child to Write Their Own Story –

One of the hardest things to do is to let go of what you thought your child’s life was going to look like and allow them to take a different path, especially when the stakes feel really high. It feels like you’re living in the Twilight Zone because this was never supposed to happen. You can do a lot of damage to a relationship with your child by not allowing them to make their own choices. Listen to this episode for some insight on this topic. 

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#022—Show Up As Your Best Self During the Holidays

The holidays are coming, and that means lots of extra activities, entertaining, get-togethers, and lots of added stress. Emotions can get high when we factor in the added stress factor. You don’t need to let your emotions take over during this time of year, and you don’t need to let other peoples’ emotions dictate whether or not you enjoy the holidays. You have a choice in how you want to feel and show up during the holidays. Listen to this episode to find out my 3-step process for showing up as your best self no matter what is going on around you.

YouTube videos showing sympathetic resonance:
Click here for the video with metronomes
Click here for the video with tuning forks

Sign up for the November Masterclass
Managing Difficult Relationships
November 17, 2:00-3:00 pm MST
CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

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#021 – Expecting Other People to Be Different Than They Are

The topic this week is one that gets all of us in trouble – when we expect other people to be different than they are. It can cause frustration, anger, resentment, and a whole lot of other emotions. Listen to this episode to find out the 3 reasons why you want to drop the expectations in order to have a better relationship.

If you want to learn more about how to adjust your expectations of other people, come to my November 17 Masterclass:

Managing Difficult Relationships
Wednesday, November 17
2:00-3:00 pm MT
CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

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Episode #20 - How to Have a Difficult Conversation

Are you avoiding having important conversations with people you love because it feels too difficult? Listen to this episode to learn how to prepare yourself and come up with a plan that will help you feel confident to move forward.

Need more help with handling difficult conversations? Come to my November Masterclass!

Managing Difficult Relationships
November 17, 2:00-3:00 pm MT
CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

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019 - Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife and Parents' Hardest Questions Answered

This is part 2 of my discussion with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife. I asked a group of parents what their hardest situations are with their young adult children and what they would ask Dr. Finlayson-Fife if they had the chance. She answers questions ranging from how to help the child who experiencing trauma at church to knowing how to encourage your children to talk about their feelings about the gospel.

Come to my November Masterclass!
Managing Difficult RelationshipsNovember 17, 2:00-3:00 MT

You can register at tinagosney.com/work-with-me. See you there!

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#018 - Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife and Bridging the LGBTQ Gap in the LDS ChurchDr. Finlayson-Fife and I talk about the growing divide in the LDS church over LGBTQ issues. The divide has grown even deeper and wider after Elder Holland's BYU address. How do we begin to bridge the gap and become one in the church? How do we find empathy and compassion for someone who is feeling unheard, unseen, and unwanted in our faith community? What does actually loving someone with this reality in their life look like in our congregations? We address these questions and more. 

Join my upcoming October 14 Masterclass, "Loving Your Child Unconditionally Without Condoning Their Actions" Visit tinagosney.com for registration information

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#017—Why Your Thoughts Are So Important

So many parents want their child to do something different or be different than they are. They tell me they just don’t understand why their child has made some of the choices they have made. I tell them they are focusing on the wrong thing. The things you are focusing on are the symptom of a bigger issue, and in this podcast episode, I’ll talk about that issue – their thoughts.

Register for my October Masterclass!

How to Show Unconditional Love to Your Child
October 14, 11-12pm, MT
CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

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#016 - Showing Unconditional Love to Your Child
Micah is back for this episode where we talk about what unconditional love looks like for us. Micah is a natural at showing people love no matter where they are, so I knew he needed to be a participant in this discussion.

Stay tuned for registration for the upcoming Masterclass:
How to Unconditionally Love Your Child
October 14, 11:00-12:00 pm MT

Registration opens October 1. The class will be live on Zoom, and you will have a chance to ask questions and be coached live. If you can't make the live call, you will receive a link to the replay.

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#015 - Crystal Hansen - Helping your Family Member with Addiction
Crystal Hansen is a coach who works with people who have a family member in active addiction. She has a lot of first hand experience in her own life with the topic and has so many great things to share with parents who find themselves in this position. 

You can find her on Instagram @crystalhansen_

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Episode #014 – When you say, “I don’t know what to do”

I often coach people on their thought of, “I don’t know what to do.” Seems like a normal thing to say to yourself, right? It might seem reasonable, but it isn’t useful, and it literally puts a red light on your brain’s ability to come up with solutions. This episode will help you find a better way to solve problems that can be confusing. 

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#013 - Stewardship vs Ownership
This concept of stewardship vs ownership was introduced to me by Ganel-Lyn Condie, who is currently writing a book on the subject. When I heard it for the first time, my mind was blown and I couldn’t wait to share it on the podcast. Viewing every single circumstance in our life through a stewardship lens will not just change the way you think about your life, but the way you show up around the people in your life and how you experience your life’s circumstances. Enjoy!

contact me at: info@tinagosney.com

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With the recent talk at BYU from Elder Holland, we have seen a lot of social media posting, most of which has been very polarizing, creating a lot of discord around the LGBTQ policy of the LDS church.  When you hear stories of real people, in real situations, you begin to understand where another person is coming from and what their experience has been, and a policy can become more humanized. For this purpose, Micah Gosney (my awesome husband) and I discuss just a small part of our experience as the parents of a gay son. We know our son was sent to us by God, just the way he is, and it is our blessing and privilege to be his parents. 

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011—Difficult People pt 2 – Family Relationships

Do you have a “difficult” person in your life? Sometimes (pretty frequently) we find those “difficult” people in our own families. So often, you will want dread being around that person because they are so hard to deal with or it feels like you can’t win and get along with them, no matter what. This episode is all about how to release that dread and anger and find peace within yourself.  Disclaimer if you have someone in your life that is causing you physical, mental, emotional, or sexual harm, this episode is not meant for you.

https://www.eugeneengland.org/why-the-church-is-as-true-as-the-gospel

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#010 -- Difficult People, part 1
Do you have a “difficult” person in your life? We all encounter difficult people, and it can be so frustrating.  So often, you will want to cut these people out of our lives because they are too hard to deal with or it feels like you can’t win and get along with them, no matter what. This episode is all about why you DON’T want to eliminate these people from your life and why they are important characters in your life journey. Disclaimer if you have someone in your life that is causing you physical, mental, emotional, or sexual harm, this episode is not meant for you.

King of Queens video clip

Contact me at: info@tinagosney.com

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#009- Grief
Grief is a natural reaction to loss. We tend to think we only grieve when someone dies, and that isn’t the only time we experience grief. Anytime you have had expectations that were left unfulfilled and unrealized, you will have grief. But, you might not recognize it in that way. It might show up as a different emotion, but underlying that is grief. In this episode, I’ll tell you how to recognize grief, and what to do about it to be able to move forward. 

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#008 - How to Stop Feeling Like a FailureIf you are feeling like you have failed as a parent, this episode is for you! In this episode you will learn why you are feeling like a failure, where that feeling is coming from, and what you can do to start feeling better today. Don’t let your children’s choices define success or failure for you, get in the driver’s seat of your own life.

email me at info@tinagosney.com

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#007 - WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU'RE OFFENDED
Are you feeling exhausted by being around other people and trying not to be offended by what they say about you or your child? Maybe it feels like too much to deal with, so you have started limiting contact with certain people or have cut them out of your life all together. 

As humans, we need other humans, and we need to learn to be around others without feeling attacked and judged. In this podcast episode, I will teach you what to do with those offensive comments and how to start reacting differently to the people in your life.

At the end of this podcast I give you some homework! Don't you miss homework? Maybe not, but this is actually homework that will actually benefit you in your life. So, do the homework and then email me to let me know how it went! 
info@tinagosney.com

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006 - Emotional ResilienceOur emotions are something so often overlooked as we try to feel better about the circumstances in our lives. It's usually overlooked because we don't know what to do with our emotions, so we end up avoiding them in harmful ways - harmful to ourselves and the people around us. But, if we learn to accept our emotions as a teacher in our lives, then we stop fearing and avoiding them. We start paying attention. If you are on the emotional roller coaster and think it's not possible for you to feel better unless the people in your life change, this episode is for you.

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005 - In this episode, Tom Christofferson and I have a discussion about families and their LGBTQ children. Tom is a gay latter-day saint who has been through many experiences in his life, including leaving the faith, and then returning years later. His experience and insight into what LGBTQ members and their families experience in the church is invaluable. He has also authored two books and you will find the links to purchase these books below.

Some of the topics we cover:

• What to do when your child comes out
• How to not just love your child, but be loving
• What to do when church isn't the best place to be
• Dealing with offensive comments
• How this experience is to help you become more like Jesus Christ

Tom Christofferson has spent his career in investment management and asset servicing, living in the United States and Europe. He has served as a director on corporate and nonprofit boards and as a volunteer with agencies combatting homelessness and long-term unemployment. Tom is an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and lives in Phoenix, Arizona. He is the author of That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon's Perspective on Faith and Family, published by Deseret Book.

That We May Be One, a Gay Mormon's Perspective on Faith and Family

A Better Heart, The Impact of Christ's Pure Love

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004 - In this episode I'll tell you the number 1 question I get asked as a life coach. It comes up in just about every first session I have with a client, and then again several times throughout the time we are coaching together.

That question is:
What should I do?

They want to know what they should do about the choices their kids are making, and how they can help their child. They are feeling helpless and hopeless, not knowing where or who to turn to for answers.

Listen to this episode to find out what I tell my clients when they ask me what they should do, and why I tell them that's not really the question they should be asking. There is a much more important question to focus on.

To join my email list, click here 

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003 - There is one relationship in your life that will determine your experience of every other relationship you have in your life - your relationship with your spouse, with your child, with your friends, and with God. In this episode, I tell you who this relationship is with, why it is so important, and how you can work on this relationship so you experience your life and relationships differently.

Atomic Habits by James Clear

"She Will Find What is Lost" by Brian Kershisnik

I'd love to hear from you! Email me at info@tinagosney.com

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002 - When you see your child making decisions that are taking them away from the church, that can be a very fearful time. But, acting out of fear is not helpful to you and will lead you to do things that damage the relationship you have with your child. When your child is struggling to find and feel love from our Heavenly Father, you become the closest representative of Him to that child. How do you develop your own faith and model love and faith  for your child when you are full of fear and feel like a failure? Listen to this episode and learn how to do that for yourself.

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001 - There's a growing group in the LDS church, the group of parents who have had a child leave the faith. If you've become a member of this group, and you're not sure what to do next, you're probably feeling a little lost, and maybe a little (or a lot) confused. You did everything you were supposed to do, so why did your child leave?

Howard W. Hunter said, "Your detours and disappointments are the straight and narrow way back to Him." 

When your child leaves the church, you're being taken on a parenting detour, and you will need to learn to navigate the new path you are on. If this is you, you're in the right place and I'm here to help you through it. 

I'm LDS life and parenting coach, Tina Gosney.  In this episode you will get to know me a little, and I'll talk about my own parenting detour. 

Find out more about me and get the shownotes at:

https://tinagosney.com/

and join my Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/455988792337116

I'll see you there!