Men are generally not good at talking openly about their mental health, emotional wellbeing, relationships and life in general. Man Talk is a series of conversations exploring real life problems and solutions, providing tools, tips and raising awareness to help men navigate their lives successfully. Howard Todd-Collins is a thought leader in the world of men's emotional wellbeing. He has a thriving Private Practice as a Counsellor, Psychotherapist and a Coach to Men, Women and Couples. He has appeared in numerous Television, Print Media and guest podcast interviews discussing men's emotional wellbeing. Man Talk is for men and those in relationship with them who want to invest in their self development, relationship health and to live a rich and meaningful life. Find out more - www.mantalk.com.au
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This episode explores the pervasive issue of avoidance in relationships and why men tend to pull away from their partner.
Avoidance is something many of us do—sometimes without even realising it—and it can quietly chip away at your relationship and your self esteem.
If you’ve ever wondered why you tend to steer clear of the deep and meaningful stuff in your relationship and your life this is the episode for you.
Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?
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If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
Or reach out to a professional in your area.
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New year's resolutions often fail often due to psychological traps.
Instead of setting resolutions I encourage you to consider some key questions to evaluate 2025 and set meaningful intentions for 2026.
These questions allow you to:
This final episode of the year provides insights on how to start the new year with a renewed, intentional mindset.
Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?
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If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
Or reach out to a professional in your area.
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Vulnerability is everywhere!
It’s on social media, in self-help books, on Ted talks, discussed in countless therapy rooms.
Vulnerability can be extremely confusing, especially for us blokes!
In this episode Howard and Ryan unpack it all for you.
If you’ve ever wondered whether opening up is worth the risk, or is vulnerability really all that necessary this conversation is for you.
If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
Book An Appointment Here
Or reach out to a professional in your area.
Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?
Check out our Online Mini Course:
'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'
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In this episode, Howard shares his personal journey from a stoic British upbringing to becoming a therapist who specialises in men's emotional health.
He reflects on:
Howard delves into his therapeutic practices and how they helped him become more authentic and self-compassionate.
The conversation also explores:
This episode is a candid and insightful look into the personal and professional journey of a therapist, offering a compelling case for the transformative power of therapy.
If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
Book An Appointment Here
Or reach out to a professional in your area.
Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?
Check out our Online Mini Course:
'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'
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Is true friendship a cornerstone of emotional wellbeing?
Friendships that offers support, belonging and genuine connection.
If so:
Why are so many men in Australia and beyond quietly battling loneliness and isolation?
You are invited join Ryan and I in conversation as we unpack the power of authentic male friendships.
If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
Or reach out to a professional in your area.
Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?
Check out our Online Mini Course:
'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'
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TRANSCRIPT
Speaker A: Is true friendship a cornerstone of emotional well being? You know, friendships that offer support,
belonging and a genuine connection? And if so, why are so many blokes in Australia and in fact around the world quietly battling loneliness and isolation?
How do male friendships change over time? And what does it take to move past that surface level banter and build friendships that matter?
You are invited to join Ryan and I in conversation as we unpack the power of authentic male friendships. Welcome to Man Talk, a podcast of real conversations about life, your life,
our life, the emotional well being of men. My name is Howard Todd Collins. I'm the director of Men and Relationships Counseling, a private counseling practice here in sunny Melbourne, Australia.
Thank you for being here. Sit back and relax and join me and my very good friend Ryan for this latest episode of Men Talk.
Today we're, we're talking about friendship and men.
I did a bit of research on what Beyond Blue has been talking about in terms of the statistics for blokes around friendship. According to BeyondBlue, 25% of Aussie blokes have nobody outside of their family or their partner that they can call upon or rely upon.
And in the same research, some of the men who do have lots of friends,
97% agree that having mates is a good thing, it's essential.
And out of that,
87% of men in that context struggle with to actually make the time to catch up with mates.
And it's a theme that comes up in my conversations with men about feeling isolated and lonely and realizing that maybe their priorities of making friendships or staying connected with mates somehow gets dismissed or pushed down the priority list and it leads to all sorts of problems for blokes, the isolation of men,
depression, anxiety and so on. That's part of the research.
But I guess in some way I wonder a bit about what is it about men and friendships that you know about in your life that are useful for us to be thinking about and feeling our way through.
In the conversation today,
what do you reckon?
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There are too many blokes who are way too hard on themselves.
In this episode I’m going to break down the myth that self-compassion is soft, weak, self pity or even selfish.
If this episode raises your interest to work on Self Compassion and you need get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
Or reach out to a professional in your area.
Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?
Check out our Online Mini Course:
'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'
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TRANSCRIPT
Speaker A: Are you kind to yourself? Do you practice self compassion?
Now, as a man, you may well feel the pressure to always be strong,
independent and self sufficient. For a lot of blokes, the idea of being kind to themselves sounds a bit, well, fluffy or wishy washy in some way. Maybe you picture bubble baths or scented candles or incense sticks or just slacking off for the day, but self compassion is actually about treating yourself with the same respect and understanding you would offer a good friend.
There are too many blokes who are way too hard on themselves.
So I'm going to break down the myth that self compassion is soft or weak.
It's not self pity and it's not even being selfish.
So what does self compassion actually mean? What are the skills? Why is it so hard for some men? And how can it actually make you stronger,
not softer? Welcome to Mentalk, a podcast of real conversations about life, your life, our life,
and the emotional well being of men. My name is Howard Todd Collins. I'm the director of Men and Relationships Counseling. Let's talk about what it really means to be a kinder and stronger man in today's world,
starting by how you treat yourself.
Thank you for being there. Sit back and relax and join me for this latest episode of Men Talk.
Good morning, good evening, good afternoon.
I think I've covered all bases but in the wrong order. I hope you're well, wherever you're, wherever you're listening to me from.
This is a solo episode. The last couple of episodes have been a conversation with a co host with my good friend Ryan. We've been talking about a few things,
so if you've missed those last couple of episodes, there are conversations or co hosted, please go back and have a look at them and have a listen. But this is just me on my own today and we're going to be covering something that I think is really common for blokes in particular,
but also for lots of women and couples that I meet who kind of get in their own way.
Do you ever find yourself being just too hard on yourself or even other people?
Are you like many blokes who for
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Why would you want to sit with uncomfortable feelings?
A reasonable question!
In this latest conversation Ryan and Howard discuss:
This episode delves into the complexities of men's emotional experiences.
Through personal anecdotes, we emphasise the importance of recognising and addressing emotions rather than avoiding them, highlighting how communication and emotional awareness can improve mental well-being and relationships.
If you want to grab the Free Guide "Better Conversations for Blokes" - Quick and Simple ways to Communicate with Your Partner click here
Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?
Check out our Online Mini Course:
'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'
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www.menandrelationships.com.au
Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au
If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
Or reach out to a professional in your area.
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In this engaging and thought provoking conversation, the first co-hosted Man Talk episode, Howard and Ryan unpack what Men's Work is all about.
They share some of their experiences of Men's Groups and broader themes of Men's Work today including:
Resources:
Books
Blogs
The Man Talk Blog: Offers insights and tips on relationships, emotional well-being, and personal growth.
The Good Men Project: A platform for men to share stories and explore modern masculinity.
Support Groups and Communities
Mankind Project: A global network of men’s groups focused on personal development and emotional intelligence.
Evryman: Facilitates men’s groups and retreats to foster emotional connection and growth.
For more about my co-host check him out - RyanSpanger.com.
Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?
Check out our Online Mini Course:
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Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au
If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
Or reach out to a professional in your area.
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If you push down your feelings and tell yourself to 'man up,' 'she’ll be righ't and keep going on with life, what happens?
Bottling your emotions will make you more confused, more frustrated, disconnected from your partner, your kids, your friends, yourself!
Despite telling yourself you’re fine, this internalising leaves you carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.
If you find yourself bottling your emotions this episode is for you.
We’re breaking down how suppressing your feelings leads to cycles of stress, conflict in your relationship, and even harm your mental health.
We’ll talk about how opening up doesn’t make you weak – it makes you stronger, more present and more connected.
I share 6 Tips to get you started!
Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?
Check out our Online Mini Course:
'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'
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Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au
If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
Or reach out to a professional in your area.
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If communication is the foundation of connection how come relationships can feel distant, strained and disconnected?
What are you not talking about with your partner?
You know those times when:
In this episode we discuss how you can change this, have better conversations and deepen the connection in your relationship
Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?
Check out our Online Mini Course:
'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'
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Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au
If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
Or reach out to a professional in your area.
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Do you get distracted? What kind of distractions get in the way of the kind of relationship u wan t?
Do u ever feel:
These are some of the consequences of distraction and a lack of presence…. the cornerstone of the connection u create with the love of your life!
In this episode we unpack :
Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?
Check out our Online Mini Course:
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Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au
If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
Or reach out to a professional in your area.
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00] Speaker A: Do you ever get distracted? What kind of distractions get in the way of the kind of partner that you are or the kind of relationship that you want? Do you ever feel isolated or disconnected or mentally overloaded, Missing intimacy and maybe even struggling with emotional numbing and internalizing your thoughts?
[00:20] These are some of the consequences of distraction and in particular a lack of presence. Not the presence you get on your birthday. It's how you are attentive and available. It's the cornerstone of the connection you have with the love of your life.
[00:36] So stay with me. In this episode we unpack. Why does your presence matter? What do you get distracted by? How do you maintain your attention and stay close and connected to the person you love?
[00:50] Welcome to mantalk, a podcast of real conversations about life, your life, our life, and the emotional well being of men. My name is Howard Todd Collins. I'm the director of Men and Relationship Counseling, a counseling practice.
[01:04] Thank you for being here. Sit back and relax wherever you are and join me for the latest episode of Men Talk.
[01:28] Hello. Hello. Wherever you may be. I don't know, some people listen to me just sitting in a comfortable chair or some people are walking along the beach with the dog, some people are in the car, on the train, on a bus, on a tube.
[01:44] I don't know, wherever you are, I hope that you are going well. This latest episode of the mantalk podcast is, I think, quite relevant to the way we live our lives.
[01:53] Most of us get distracted for all sorts of reasons. There's always something to read online, listen to the news and particular. A lot of people carry lots of thoughts and feelings and ideas and tasks and so on that are locked in in their brain.
[02:08] What is it that gets you distracted in particular? Now, I've no doubt like many blokes that I meet every day, you will relate to some of t
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Barriers to Communication - What does this actually mean?
How aware are you of what gets in the way of communicating effectively?
Why can it sometimes be so difficult to communicate in a relationship?
In this episode we’ll explore:
And, most importantly, how to overcome them. You will get 4 actionable steps you can start using right now!
Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?
Check out our Online Mini Course:
'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'
Follow us + Join the Conversation
www.menandrelationships.com.au
Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au
If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
Or reach out to a professional in your area.
Send us a text
As you strive to create a fulfilling and meaningful life it’s likely you may occasionally get in your own way!
You know those seemingly invisible chains that hold you back from reaching your full potential, in relationships, in your career, personal growth, in your health and fitness, and overall well-being.
Most of us have limiting beliefs that can create all kinds of self-inflicted obstacles.
This episode, the first of 2025 looks at how can you manoeuvre that mind of yours and leap over any obstacles with the grace, speed and skill of an Olympic Hurdler!
I introduce to you a couple of ways designed to shift your mindset.
They are:
Thought Reversals
Psychological Flexibility
Click this link Acceptance and Commitment Therapy referenced in this episode to find out more.
Do you want to learn more ways to improve your emotional health relationship skills?
Download a free guide:
Better Conversations for Blokes - Quick and Simple Ways to Communicate with Your Partner
Check out our Online Mini Course:
'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'
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www.menandrelationships.com.au
Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au
If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
Or reach out to a professional in your area.
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Men often find themselves too busy and distracted from connecting with their partners. There are many reasons for this.
However, there are 4 hidden reasons why many men get distracted - which are harder to spot, because men don’t talk about them.
This episode uncovers some internalised patterns that can distract men, how they impact men's emotional wellbeing and some ideas of what men can do about it .
Do you want to learn more ways to improve your emotional health relationship skills?
Download a free guide:
Better Conversations for Blokes - Quick and Simple Ways to Communicate with Your Partner
Check out our Online Mini Course:
'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'
Follow us + Join the Conversation
www.menandrelationships.com.au
Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au
If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
Or reach out to a professional in your area.
Download Your Free Guide - Better Conversations for Blokes - Quick and Simple Ways to Communicate With Your Partner
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We live in a world that glorifies hustle culture—where the value of hard work and being busy is emphasized, but emotional health often takes a back seat. Many men find themselves caught between the desire to provide and the toll it takes on their mental well-being.
We’re conditioned to power through stress without talking about how we feel, but that just creates more pressure.
This episode is dedicated to all you blokes out there who know, deep down, that your mental health is suffering when the demands of life begin to overwhelm you and you metaphorically lose your balance
In this Movember Episode I’m going to expand on:
Do you want to learn more ways to improve your emotional health relationship skills?
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Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au
If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
Or reach out to a professional in your area.
Download Your Free Guide - Better Conversations for Blokes - Quick and Simple Ways to Communicate With Your Partner
Life can be full of curveballs, uncertainties and moments that we simply haven’t planned for!
Stress and anxiety are hard to ignore.
If you've been feeling or ever felt worried, stressed, nervous, anxious and your brain has a mind of it’s own racing with overthinking, or looping thoughts - this episode is for you!
We look at a bloke's experience of stress and anxiety, how it impacts life and relationships.
Tune in to listen to how men get in their own way and what do to differently.
Do you want to learn more ways to improve your emotional health relationship skills?
Download a free guide:
Better Conversations for Blokes - Quick and Simple Ways to Communicate with Your Partner
Check out our Online Mini Course:
'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'
Follow us + Join the Conversation
www.menandrelationships.com.au
Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au
If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
Or reach out to a professional in your area.
Download Your Free Guide - Better Conversations for Blokes - Quick and Simple Ways to Communicate With Your Partner
Good communication is vital for a healthy relationship. Obvious right!
Why do some men struggle with communicating with their partner?
This episode provides the practical skills to not only communicate better but to build stronger connection in your relationship.
Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?
Download a free guide:
Better Conversations for Blokes - Quick and Simple Ways to Communicate with Your Partner
Check out our Online Mini Course:
'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'
Follow us + Join the Conversation
www.menandrelationships.com.au
Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au
If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
Or reach out to a professional in your area.
How do you manage conflict?
What do men experience when conflict gets in the way of a healthy relationship?
This episode takes a close look at negative conflict styles, how it impacts individual partners and relationships, and provides tips and strategies to see conflict as an opportunity to change.
Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?
Download a free guide:
Better Conversations for Blokes - Quick and Simple Ways to Communicate with Your Partner
Check out our Online Mini Course:
'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'
Follow us + Join the Conversation
www.menandrelationships.com.au
Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au
If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
Or reach out to a professional in your area.
Have you ever wondered why emotional distance happens in a relationship?
It's more common than your realise.
What do men experience when this disconnection happens and what helps to reconnect with your partner?
**This episode uncovers 6 ways to repair emotional disconnection.
Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?
Download a free guide:*Better Conversations for Blokes - Quick and Simple Ways to Communicate with Your Partner* Check out our Online Mini Course:**'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'
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www.menandrelationships.com.au
Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au
If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships CounsellingOr reach out to a professional in your area.
What is it that makes a relationship successful?
This episode is the first of the Man Talk Interviews and in it my colleague and good friend Naomi Rubinstein and I chat about the ingredients required in order to become a master of relationships as opposed to a disaster!
We discuss some of the processes values and relationship skills in the research.
A bit of our work with couples is shared and our brand new forthcoming Relationship Workshop is mentioned too!
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Naomi Rubinstein Counselling - www.caulfieldcounselling.com.au
Losing control of your emotions can be described in a variety of terms:
The psychological terms that describe losing control of emotions include
It’s the experience of emotions spinning out of control?
Whether triggered by an argument, a professional or personal failure, anxious about someone u love, extreme levels of stress, h uncontrolled emotions can lead to things being said and done in the heat of the moment.
So how do you get back control, or
It’s all about Emotion Regulation.
In this episode we will:
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RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE
The Hand Model of the Brain - Dr. Dan Siegel
If this episode raises your awareness of a need to get some counselling support, Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
In the book “Emotional Intelligence,” Daniel Goleman describes how anger causes blood to flow to our hands, making it easier for us to strike an enemy or hold a weapon. Our heart rate speeds up, and a rush of hormones…creates a surge of energy strong enough to take “vigorous action.”
In this way, he says, anger is ingrained into our brain to protect us.
What else do you know about the feelings and thoughts lurking underneath anger?
In this episode we take a look at:
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
Emotional Intelligence - Daniel Goleman
The Anger Iceberg
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If this episode raises awareness of your need for counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
Check out his private practice:
Men and Relationships Counselling
Or seek out some support in your local area.
In this episode we take a deeper look at anger, one of the most primitive emotions we experience.
We’re going to explore:
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If this episode raises your awareness of a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.
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There are many men that withhold talking about their stress… for way too long.
It ‘s as if we don’t want to burden anyone!
It’s as if we are, invincible, even superman!
This episode dedicated to all the superman men, out there!
How do you know you’re stressed?
What happens in your mind? In your body? In your head?
Does your behaviour change?
What stresses u out?
How do you take care of your stress?
Recognising the symptoms of stress is the first step to managing your emotional health and wellbeing
In this episode we’re going to unpack the following:
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Do you find it’s hard to describe emotions or put into words exactly how you’re feeling?
There appears to be anywhere between 6, 8, or 34,000 emotions! You can see why emotions are messy and confusing.
This episode will provide a little more clarity.
Whilst feelings and emotions make our life colourful. Without them, where would we be? We'd be like robots and life would be……… pretty boring.
Emotions and feelings are often used interchangeably - are they really the same thing?
In this episode we are going to explore
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There’s a common myth that says men think about sex every 7 seconds!
That's more than 500 times an hour! And more than 8,000 times during the average day!
Men can get fixated with sex or physical affection sometimes above and beyond emotional closeness.
The truth is that men, women and all genders share the same needs for deep connection physically and emotionally.
In this episode we take a look at
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Man Talk
Series 1. Episode 2. Man Up! What Kind of Man Are You?
How have you become the man you are today?
What or who has influenced you?
This episode invites you to think about What Kind of Man Are You?
We explore what it means to be a man through the lens of:
Resources from this Episode
Attitudes toward men and masculinity
VicHealth
The Gender Stereotypes in Media Report
Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media
The Gillete Campaign
Gilette
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Man Talk
Season 1. Episode 1. The Who, The What, and The Why
Thank you for showing an interest in Man Talk. This first episode explains:
You can get involved by staying touch:
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Like the Facebook Page
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