Excuses to Connect: Recent Episodes
Richard Lee-Thai
Have you ever wanted to connect with someone, but you stopped yourself? Excuses to Connect is a podcast about actively creating the conditions that make meaningful connections easier. In other words, you can make excuses to connect. Join me, Richard Lee-Thai, as I have conversations with experts, friends, and strangers on their struggles and successes when it comes to human connections. As a listener, I hope that you can take these insights and find excuses to connect with people. You never know how any one connection can transform your life.
https://excusestoconnect.com/
Evelyn Shaw Corley is the founder of Thrive International Academy, an organization which provides learning outside of the traditional school setting. Having been a teacher herself, she has seen some of the flaws of the educational system and aims to create an environment where each student gets individual support so they can thrive. Evelyn is also the recipient of the Meta’s 2022 Changemaker of the Year Award to recognize the amazing work she is doing!
Timestamps * [1:52] What is your personal mission in 1 sentence? * [2:40] Receiving the 2022 Meta Changemaker award * [4:18] The story behind Thrive International Academy * [10:23] Accessibility and affordability of education * [14:29] Success stories from the program * [17:38] Childhood experience of bullying in school * [25:14] Choosing who to spend your time with * [30:29] Tip for connecting: Push yourself to do something that makes you a bit uncomfortable every day * [33:49] What's it like in Athens, Georgia? * [37:30] Where to connect with Evelyn * [38:46] Final takeaway: Live fearlessly, be bold
Resources Mentioned * Contact Evelyn: Facebook | Website
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Pete Bombaci is the Founder of the GenWell Project, which is a Canadian-led not-for-profit organization focused on generating wellness through connection. Their mission is to make the world a happier and healthier place by educating, empowering and catalyzing Canadians around the importance of human connection for their health, their happiness, their longevity, and the betterment of society. In this episode, we do a deep dive on the topic of connection, why it’s important to our wellbeing, and what we can do in our own lives to be more connected.
Timestamps * [2:01] What is the GenWell Project? * [4:02] What was the catalyst behind starting this? * [9:31] The importance of social health in the context of mental health * [11:35] Is it stigma that surrounds loneliness, or misunderstanding? * [18:20] What are your personal experiences of loneliness? * [21:32] Nearly 50% of all Canadians reported feeling lonely - what do we do about it? * [28:56] Connection is important to our health, but what do you do if you’re shy? * [33:27] Technology is only a supplement to human connection * [38:32] How to make connections in the workplace post-pandemic * [44:18] Creating the Canadian Social Connection Guidelines * [49:04] Where to connect with Pete * [50:31] Final thoughts: The power of talking to strangers and taking baby steps to build connections
Resources Mentioned * Contact Pete: LinkedIn * GenWell Project: Website | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | Twitter | YouTube * 2022 Canadian Social Connection Survey
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Prasanna Karur is the Founder of the PlayGround podcast where he interviews people about their childhood and rediscovering their inner child. He is passionate about making others feel belonging and living life authentically according to your own values, rather than other peoples’ expectations. This mission extends to his academic studies as he is going into medical school, with a focus on Narrative Medicine. Don’t know what that means? Neither did I - but you will learn about that and many more fascinating stories about play, authenticity, belonging, and joy.
Timestamps * [2:06] What was the motivation and story behind starting your PlayGround podcast? * [11:04] Why is it important for adults to rediscover their inner child? * [15:58] Childlike wonder and curiosity in adulthood * [20:48] Authenticity and owning who you are * [23:35] Social anxiety and worrying about what others think of you * [32:10] Incorporating play into workplaces * [37:39] Why Prasanna is passionate about “narrative medicine” * [43:43] Systemic issues of burnout and bureaucracy in medicine * [49:23] Where to connect with Prasanna * [49:56] Final thoughts: finding joy in the small things
Resources Mentioned * Contact Prasanna: Instagram | Linktree
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Brady Simpson is a Master’s Graduate from the University of Lethbridge and a Twitch streamer. Don’t know what Twitch is? It’s a livestreaming platform where people stream themselves playing video games, playing music, hosting talk shows, and much more. Brady specifically streams Guild Wars II, a MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game). In this episode, we talk about the challenges he had to go through to complete his Master’s degree, as well as the amazing international connections that he’s built through streaming on Twitch, including a number of his viewers coming to watch his thesis defense!
Highlights & Takeaways * Brady being diagnosed with ADHD in the middle of his Master’s program and how his perception on ADHD shifted from it being some horrible thing to how it’s something extremely common and normal. * When Brady messaged his professor saying he was quitting, he received this message: “I support you either way, but I want you to know that I hope that someday you see in your yourself again, what I see in you.” * How he grew his Twitch livestreaming audience from 0 viewers to averaging over 75 viewers regularly * He ended up meeting some of his viewers in-person when he travelled, and how they became close friends that supported him during his challenges * “You'll find your people. You'll find your tribe. The number one thing is to not let that fear hold you back and understand that you're gonna get rejected sometimes. But every rejection is getting you one step closer to building that community and finding those connections and then ultimately stay consistent.”
Resources Mentioned * Contact Brady: LinkedIn | Twitch | Twitter
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Janille Hill is the creator of Street Connect NYC, where she is capturing meaningful conversations between strangers in NYC. She shares these conversations on her Instagram page and she is making the world smaller one connection at a time. In this episode, she shares about her process of talking to strangers, stories that have stood out to her, and the responsibilities that come with storytelling. We also chat about being a connector of colour and how systemic racism has played out in all walks of life, including in the connection space. I loved this insightful and fun conversation with a fellow connector!
Highlights & Takeaways * Vulnerability inspires vulnerability - Janille always lets the other person ask her any question first, before she asks the other person. * “Everybody has a rich, beautiful story.” Our stories and experiences are what connect us, and lately Janille has been asking people about their deepest pain, because we can all connect to it. * How approaching strangers we may not find ourselves initially drawn to can be extremely transformative and mind-expanding. * Sonder - The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own. * Storytelling is a foundational part of the lives of people of colour. * There is a beauty in being present with others and connecting with strangers has a ripple effect. * “Say yes to what’s in your soul.”
Resources Mentioned * Contact Janille: Instagram | Facebook | Youtube * The Power of Strangers: The Benefits of Connecting in a Suspicious World * Humans of New York
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Norwegian-born Unni Turrettini is a best-selling and award-winning author, international speaker, and loneliness and connection expert. Her work is about helping people find deeper connection and belonging, so that they can thrive in their personal and professional lives. She is the author of “The Mystery of the Lone Wolf Killer”, which examines Norwegian mass murderer Anders Behring Breivik and focuses on what we can learn from that tragedy to prevent rampage killings spurred by loneliness. In this episode, we talk about the conforming culture of Norway, and how she found many similarities between herself and a mass murderer, in terms of the pain of being excluded.
Highlights & Takeaways * Regardless of the color of your skin, your religious beliefs or your political leanings, we are all human beings and we all want to feel seen, heard and valued. * We are worthy as people despite our failures or successes, the way we look, or how other people perceive us. * “This is the pandemic. This dysfunction, disconnection is really the fastest growing pandemic in our world today. And it's making us sick, it's making us violent, it's polarizing us, and all the things that we don't want.” * Connection is crucial and there can be extreme consequences resulting from a lack of connection and the loneliness and lost sense of belonging that results. * “I don't recognize myself in the actions of this man. But I knew I understood how and why he could come to that conclusion, how he could come to that extreme, because I had felt that as well.” * HOPE - Help One Person Everyday
Resources Mentioned * Contact Unni: Website | Instagram | Twitter | LinkedIn * The Mystery of the Lone Wolf Killer: Anders Behring Breivik and the Threat of Terror in Plain Sight * The Making of a Lone Wolf Killer TEDx Talk
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Abby Westerman is the Co-Founder and CEO of the b-present Foundation, which was established in memory of her daughter Kirsten, whose battle with cancer inspired her to improve the experience for both young adults with cancer and their supporters. They are working to provide the resources that they wish they had as part of the support network and ignite a movement among young adults to amplify the importance of presence. This has been one of my favourite episodes I’ve recorded so far and there’s so much important information in here about what good communication sounds like, how to be there for others, and connecting with people as people, rather than treating them like a patient.
Highlights & Takeaways * The b-present Foundation has 2 key programs: b-aware and b-there, which provide the information and tools that empower the social support network to be present from diagnosis, through treatment and beyond * “The interesting thing with a cancer diagnosis is that it makes communication just awkward and hard. You know, we're very careful about what we say. We don't want to hurt feelings. We don't want to ask for help. We don't want to be conveying a sign of weakness.” * “The thing that Kirsten appreciated most was when people came into the room and treated her like a human being first, and as a patient second.” * How being authentic and matching the other person’s energy are key components of being present * The story of Abby attending EDC, an electronic dance music festival that Kirsten had purchased tickets for, and how it was an transformative experience
Resources Mentioned * Contact Abby: Website | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | LinkedIn
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Kristina M. Holle is the author of "The Authentic You: Unleash Your Leadership Potential". She is a business leader that has had a career in Human Resources for over 20 years. She has worked in numerous companies and industries focusing her time on strategic and operational HR activities, centering on employee engagement, talent branding, and driving a culture of wellbeing. Nowadays, she's been very focused on helping people to discover their authentic selves. In this episode, we discuss what are the components of authenticity, how to be more authentic, and the shifts in culture that need to occur in organizations.
Highlights & Takeaways * Authenticity starts with connecting yourself and doing the inner work of examining your past. Can you release the shame of your past stories and own a new narrative where you’re the hero of the story? * Strategies to do inner work, such as meditation and journaling. Kristina shared an exercise of putting a timer for 5 minutes and just writing about how you’re feeling, without thinking about it or taking your pen off the paper. * “Authenticity for me is being in a place of truth, love, and joy. So when we're standing in a place of authenticity, that means that you are living in your own personal truth.” * “E-motion. Energy in motion. Your emotions are energy. If you block your emotions, they get stuck.” * Kristina says that if you want to make a real impact: “Stop looking externally for all the answers. Take the time to reconnect with yourself. Take the time to know who you are. Accept all of it. Get to the point where you can accept all the parts, the parts that we perceive as broken, the parts that we don't think that are serving as well. I promise you, they are.”
Resources Mentioned * Contact Kristina: Instagram | Twitter | Website * The Authentic You
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Jesse Stanton is from Alaska, and he is a motivational speaker, podcaster, business coach, real estate investor & creative finance ninja. He is the host of the Birth to Net Worth podcast, where he details how he is approaching parenting and teaching his kids to live a life of freedom from the constraints of scarcity, both in terms of mindset and financially. He is the first guest I’ve had where we’ve talked extensively about the connection between parents and children. He shares many great stories of how his kids have absorbed lessons through books and seeing how their father interacts with others. We also chat about the importance of surrounding ourselves with people who push us to grow, rather than drag you down.
Highlights & Takeaways * How Jesse’s kids have gotten to see the work that their dad is doing in real estate investing and making an impact on others, which has sparked their curiosity to learn more * “What's been really neat is to teach these to my kids at such a young age where they're just like sponges, right? Because I'm not having to change 20, 30, 40, 50 years of somebody thinking a certain way.” * Living in Alaska is extreme, where there’s long periods of darkness, harsh weather, and high suicide rates. At the same time, everybody is really generous and caring for each other. * “When it came to my mindset in terms of what I'm capable of, surrounding yourself with those people and having the right conversations is going to be one of the biggest things that aid in your success.” * The “crabs-in-a-bucket” mentality where other people are trying to drag you down once you start trying to make a better life for yourself and climb out of the bucket * “You hang around five competent people. Guess what? You become the sixth. You hang around five millionaires, you become the sixth. It's a universal truth.”
Resources Mentioned * Contact Jesse: Instagram | Facebook * The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens
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Syrine Bellafi is the creator of a project called “Spreading Happiness, Love and Positive Vibes 24/7” where she provides doses of positivity through videos, quotes, and inspiring discussions. Living in Tunisia, she shares how she was able to connect with people from multiple countries through an app called WeWorld. She believes in choosing kindness, even towards others who may seem mean or not approachable. It can seem like the world is full of hate right now, but this episode will leave you feeling energized by optimism.
Highlights & Takeaways * Syrine grew up in a community where there's a lot of hate, criticism and hypocrisy, so she wants to spread happiness. This is so people don’t focus too much on the negative side, and instead try to live together with kindness and learn from one another. * “If you have the choice between being right and being kind, choose being kind” * The story of Syrine connecting with a girl from Turkey, and ended up meeting with her when she traveled there for a summer trip. “She was literally one of the best people I met. She was very nice, very warm and welcoming. And she was open to conversations to talk about everything.” * How Syrine was able to befriend someone who was initially didn’t like her * “We just listen because we want to answer and that was very profound. I mean that hit me because at some point I felt like I was like that as well.” Syrine really emphasizes the importance of listening carefully to others in order to connect with them
Resources Mentioned * Contact Syrine: Instagram | Facebook * Spreading Happiness, Love and Positive Vibes 24/7
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Godwin Chan is the host of the Digital Introverts podcast. This is a show where introverts share their success and failure stories and discuss how they thrive in the digital age. The show is for introverts from all walks of life who are ready to just start and scale their next venture, whether it's a creative hobby, side hustle, small business, or startup. In addition to being a podcast host, Godwin is a Doctor of Pharmacy Candidate at the University of Toronto, and is interested within healthcare venture capital - don’t know what that means? No worries, we cover that and a lot more in this episode, including how he went from being shy to having the wide network that he has today.
Highlights & Takeaways * How Godwin wanted to write a memoir, which transitioned to doing interviews for a book oriented towards introverts and the future, and finally landing on the idea of creating the Digital Introverts podcast * How content creators are competing in the attention economy and very few ever make it to the top - but newer kinds of decentralized social platforms will allow people to directly control their monetization, so that there will be more full-time creators * Godwin used to not talk at all as a kid and presenting in front of people was a nightmare, but over time, he got more comfortable interacting with others * Godwin’s strategy using social media platforms to connect with people with similar interests, and that’s how he got into the world of venture capital * Blending his interests of science and business, where his longer-term goal is to invest into the next great generation of healthcare companies.
Resources Mentioned * Contact Godwin: All Godwin’s Socials * Digital Introverts: Spotify | Apple | Website
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Out of pandemic boredom, Josh Swain created a Facebook group chat with other people named Josh Swain and challenged them to meet in a year to compete for the right to use the name “Josh”. The screenshot of this group chat went viral on the Internet and led to this event being dubbed the “Josh” fight. Although he just intended it to be a joke, it became an actual event and fundraiser for the Children's Hospital & Medical Center Foundation in Omaha, along with a food drive for the Food Bank of Lincoln. This story was a perfect example of an excuse to connect and I knew I wanted to have Josh Swain on the show. Enjoy this shorter episode as he shares about the creation of this event and what he’s up to now!
Highlights & Takeaways * Josh has always tried to go for the username and social media handle “Josh Swain”, but it’s almost always been taken already, so he wanted to challenge people to see who really deserves this title. * He thought only maybe 50 people would show up, but it ended up being almost a thousand people coming together to fight each other with pool noodles. * Josh ended up raising over $15,000, thousands of pounds of food for the food bank, and even had the Josh Cellars company triple their donation. * He’s hosting another Josh Fight on May 21, 2022 to remind people that even though we’re doing something ridiculous, we can still bring some good to the world. * If there’s something you want to do, Josh advises: “Don't think about the billion things preventing you from doing it. My main mantra in life is: ‘If you don't do something, you will always wonder what would happen if you did.’”
Resources Mentioned * Contact Josh: Twitter | LinkedIn * The Josh Fight: Website | Instagram
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Jesper Algaard is the Founder and CEO of the Venn app. Venn is Norwegian for “friend” and it’s an app designed to help people make friends. This is done by matching people based on similar interests and personalities, as well creating activities to move the online conversations to in-person interactions. In this episode, Jesper shares his inspiration behind creating this app, curious facts about human connection, and stories about how connection comes about in different stages of our lives.
Highlights & Takeaways * When Jesper was in his 30s, he realized that his social life was changing quite a bit: friends who he used to regularly hang out with became less available because they got married. Venn came out of the idea of utilizing technology to help people be more social with the right people. * Norway is a “very non-flirty population” as compared to people in Spain and Italy. Norwegians won’t sit next to each other if they don’t have to, and people prefer being at a distance. * 50% of their users are people who are actually in a relationship - they may have a family, kids, and friends, but they still want more. * How he had a surprising friendship with an 80-year-old man by connecting over world politics and economics. * How he also had a several hour conversation with a Japanese TV celebrity without expecting it * “If you have a friend who you haven’t talked to in a long time, I would say pick up the phone and have a chat because good friends are probably one of the most things we can have. Friends rock!”
Resources Mentioned * Contact Jesper: LinkedIn * Venn: Website | App Store | Google Play
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J. Kelly Hoey is the author of Build Your Dream Network: Forging Powerful Relationships In A Hyper-Connected World. She’s currently working on her second book which focuses on the unique networks women need for career success. Kelly has been lauded by Forbes (“1 of 5 Women Changing the World of VC/Entrepreneurship”) and Business Insider (“1 of the 100 Most Influential Tech Women On Twitter”), has contributed to a variety of publications including The New York Times - these and other unexpected career opportunities she notes, are a direct result of building a network. Join us for an insightful conversation on the do’s and don’ts of networking, and how you can start building your dream network today.
Highlights & Takeaways * Don’t commit random acts of networking. Kelly advises you to think: “Is this activity somehow aligned with information I need, or a goal I’m pursuing, or to fill an identifiable gap I have in the network supporting my career?” * As young people, you can still provide value to other people who are further along in their career or more successful. People mentor others because they get a helper’s high, and if you let someone know how their advice or connection helped them, then that is adding value to the relationship. * Think about how digital spaces compare to physical spaces. LinkedIn is like the office or industry conferences. Facebook is where your friends and family gather. Twitter is the cocktail party. Instagram is like a yard sale, where you never know what’s going to happen. * For people who are in their early 20s, your network is not likely to be more diverse than it is right now. The people you went to the same school with are going to have careers in all sorts of different directions over the next 5 to 10 years. By staying in touch, you’re going to have a very diverse network. * Start building your dream network before you think you need it. Nurture the relationships you have today thinking about where you want to go in the next 5 to 10 years. * Showing up regularly, intentionally and consistently is how you build trust. You confirm and affirm who you are so that other people will want to help you.
Resources Mentioned * Contact Kelly: Website * Kelly’s Books: Build Your Dream Network | Networks Women Need * Bird by Bird by Anne Lemott * On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King
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Zach Hose runs the ZAP! Podcast where he has conversations with people from diverse backgrounds and dive deep into what they’re passionate about. He is also an author, a singer/songwriter, and completing a Masters in HR Administration and Leadership. In this episode, we explore various perspectives on the topic of passion, as well as everyday leadership, communication differences in people with different genders, how to connect with people during job searching, and much more!
Highlights & Takeaways * “Don’t compare your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 20” - don’t be discouraged when you see other people who are living the dream of your life, because we’re all on our own path and it’s going to be a unique journey for us all. * If people approach Zach and say they don’t what their passion is, he reverse engineers it and tells them that sometimes you have to find out what you’re not passionate about to find out what you are passionate about * He’s an advocate of the multi-passionate approach where it’s totally okay to have passions in lots of different spheres because we’re not one-dimensional people * Zach’s favourite quote is from Roberto Clemente: “Anytime you have an opportunity to make a different in this world and you don’t, then you’re wasting your time on Earth.” * Anyone can be a leader - it doesn’t have to be a grandiose gesture or a big speech, but just recognizing how our everyday actions impact others. * Correctly calling someone’s preferred name is important, not just using whatever name is easiest or most convenient.
Resources Mentioned * Contact Zach: Instagram | Twitter * ZAP! (Zach Attack Your Passion) Podcast * Zach’s Books: 365 Days: The Journey | The Things I Never Said | The 10 Laws of Effective Leadership
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Mohsen Youssef is also known as “The Ignited Flame.” That’s because he found his flame, which is his passion and love for life and people. He is currently running the 3000 Flames project, which is about meeting as many people as possible in a span of a year, and having these meaningful interactions whether it's in the elevator, grocery store, or across the world through virtual platforms. In this episode, he shares his story of being an ex-Amazon manager to reconnecting with himself and his emotions at a men’s retreat. Oh, and also how he once traded a bottle of baby lotion for a Booster Juice at an airport. I hope you enjoy this inspiring conversation.
Highlights & Takeaways * “Why wait ‘till I got all the money in the world, or I'm more established in a career or a job? Why not just go now? I have a car. I have friends who are down to go and I have my adventurous mindset that I will go anywhere.” * Mohsen would remember a lot of days where he would through the hallway and he would be feeling sad or angry. But when someone said hi to him, he would always smile because he didn’t want people to see me sad. He was scared to show them that side. What if they don't like me? What if they don't want to connect anymore? * Why Mohsen left his high-paying Amazon job to find inner peace * His experience of staring another man in the eye, while putting a hand on his own heart and the other person’s heart. * How he was able to trade a bottle of baby lotion for Booster Juice * “Do things that allow for a more authentic, genuine, effortless expression of yourself. And as you step into that, witness more of life, passion, and the ignited flame that arises within you, like it did to me.”
Resources Mentioned * Contact Mohsen: Instagram | LinkedIn
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Alif Huq is actually a mutual friend of one of the previous podcast guests, Ahmad Jabbir from Episode 9. He is a Digital Marketing Automation Specialist, and he excels in this role because of his ability to connect and network. However, he was once painfully shy and awkward. In this episode, he shares many stories that are embarrassing, emotional, and about embracing himself fully as the person he is.
Highlights & Takeaways * The ultimate meaning of life is being “so you” that people feel inspired and want to be themselves. * People who are more strategically inclined in social situations are people who know who can adjust their level of energy to the person they’re talking with. What makes you a social ninja is being adaptable. * The story of Alif walking home from school and praying that the person in front him didn’t turn around, because that meant Alif had to chat and he didn’t know how to hold a conversation. * How Alif’s attitude shifted from trying to be popular, to wanting to get to know others, and now focusing on how connecting with others helps get more meaning in his life. * Hurt people hurt other people - Alif’s perspective on not blaming others, and trying to break the cycle of hurt. * How in South Asian culture, people don’t normally discuss their emotions, but he witnessed an instance at a wedding where someone crossed that wall, and instead of being shamed, they were able to accept each other unconditionally.
Resources Mentioned * Contact Alif: Instagram | LinkedIn * “The Way of the Superior Man” by David Deida
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Lionel Migrino identifies himself as a Filipino-Canadian living with cerebral palsy. He is proud of his Filipino roots and to be a member of the disability community. In this episode, he emphasizes how he does not solely define himself as a person with a disability, because he lives his life without any limitations. His goal is to show people that your obstacles should not stop you from going on adventures and chasing your dreams. He is a photographer, anti-racism and disability advocate, and emphasizes the importance of diversity, equity, and inclusion.
Highlights & Takeaways * Cerebral palsy impacts one’s fine motor skills, but it is also different for everyone and there’s many layers to it. It might just affect a particular group of muscles, or someone might be non-verbal, and so on. * Lionel points out that society often puts the disability community in a box, and leaves their voice out of important decision-making and policies. He is passionate about promoting equity and ensuring there is a voice for the voiceless. * The first step of being an ally is recognizing your own privilege and also not being afraid of being uncomfortable. People with disabilities live in an ableist world that is not made for them. “So why can’t others be uncomfortable for a few minutes to learn about another person’s experiences?” * His “Kwento’t Litrato” project compares and contrasts the experience that white people and racialized people have when asked the question: “Where are you from?” For racialized people, they can be asked this all the time and it’s a microaggression * “I think it’s so important that the voiceless are heard so that change can happen without being dehumanized, or sacrificed, or without negative implications.” * “Your voice is as important as everyone else, and we should embrace our uniqueness and differences. Don’t be afraid to be who you are and don’t be afraid to own it.”
Resources Mentioned * Contact Lionel Migrino: Instagram | Website
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Corey Nathan is the host of a podcast called Talkin’ Politics & Religion Without Killin’ Each Other. His aim is to have a home for engaging conversations about the topics that matter most in our culture. He talks about the screamers that are taking all the oxygen out of the room, and instead he wants to have civil conversations that explore nuance and understand different points of view. In this episode, we do a deep dive into connecting across differences, and how to have human-to-human conversations with people whose beliefs might differ significantly from our own.
Highlights & Takeaways * You might still disagree with someone’s views, but you can understand and appreciate each other on a human level - lead with curiosity and empathy * Assumptions and generalizations often come in the question form of: “Why do all…?” For example, Corey grew up Jewish and became a Christian, and he has been asked: “Why do all you Jews vote Democrat?” * He defuses generalizations by saying: “I can’t speak for all Jews. We're all different. Some vote this way, some vote that way. So I'll speak for myself.” And he encourages others to re-examine their assumptions * Corey was met a lot of resistance and heated dialogues with his family after he converted to being a Christian, but it was his dad’s inclination to value their father-son relationship more than other cultural and political convictions that would allow them to cut through the weeds and walk the path together. * Focus on building relational rather than transactional connections: “The good news is you can nurture those relationships. You can earn that credibility and get into the room. There's more opportunity than ever. But if it's simply like banging the phones, dialing for dollars, it's just not going to happen.” * Find excuses to connect: “It amazes me to this day, how approachable and accessible all kinds of folks are at every level. If you have something to talk about, if you have points of common connection or a common cause. I'm not saying that everybody's going to get back to you, but it's going to be more than 1/100 or 2/100, if you approach it that way.”
Resources Mentioned * Contact Corey: Instagram | Twitter * Talkin‘ Politics & Religion Without Killin‘ Each Other
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Hyder Hassan is the CEO of Immigrant Services Calgary. Immigrating from Pakistan in 1999, he had a one-liner about his dream in Canada. It was the line: "I want to create massive change within myself and others around me." Since then, he has been at the head of the innovative Gateway Program, which is transforming the newcomer experience, and also being highly involved in his community, including through Toastmasters, Rotary, Big Brothers and Big Sisters, among many other organizations. In this episode, we explore his 3 R's that are central to his worldview, the story of how he became the CEO of Immigrant Services Calgary, and his values when it comes to leadership and mentorship.
Highlights & Takeaways * In a healthy debate, one person can come with their Point A and the other person with Point B. But instead of arguing about who’s right, Hyder says there is a new Point C that both people can reach and that stimulates growth * What are your dreams? What are your goals? What are your priorities? These are the 3 questions that the innovative Gateway program asks to help newcomers with integrating into Canada quicker and more smoothly * The story of a newcomer from Nigeria who was asking how he could remove qualifications from his resume so that he appeared more “Canadian” - instead Hyder flipped the narrative and emphasized how immigrants are our future leaders and have all this potential that just needs to be unleashed * Trust-building comes from having the courage to own one’s failures, and also the ability to give and receive candid feedback. Hyder utilizes adaptive leadership to create a compelling vision and organizational culture that values clear communication * There are times when Hyder feels lonely when he makes calls as the CEO, but is being questioned and fingers are being pointed at home. In those moments, he calls his mentors who encourage him and provide him with valuable insight * “The kite always rises against the wind. And when you get to the top of the mountain, forgive the people that got you up there.”
Resources Mentioned * Contact Immigrant Services Calgary: Email | LinkedIn | Website * Gateway Connects * Immigrants of Distinction Awards
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Justin Peters is a fellow podcaster and runs a podcast called The Struggle is Real - I love the name by the way - on his podcast, he chats with a variety of experts on topics that are relevant to people in their 20s. In other words, the things we should've really learned more about in school, but didn't. Things like personal finances, networking, relationships, and your career. Now that he's 28, we explore the important lessons that he's learned throughout this decade and what's next for him. How do you make connections when you're out of school? How do you talk to people who are twice your age? If you're currently in your 20s or know someone who is in their 20s, this podcast will be very relatable.
Highlights & Takeaways * Justin wants to help 20-somethings thrive through such a defining decade and that every 20-something should leave this decade more excited about what's ahead of them versus the years that are behind them. * Rethinking the 30s deadline that so many 20-somethings are up against. You don’t need to be a self-made millionaire by 30, or married with two kids by 30, or a vice-president at my dream company. Think about what success means to you and realize there’s life after you’re 30 * How your sense of identity can change rapidly after you leave college/university and start working full-time in a new environment, or with your friends moving away to different places * Utilize the “What and Why” strategy to have deeper conversations. For example: “What’s (your podcast about)?” and follow-up by asking “Why (did you cover that topic)?” * It’s normal that peoples’ social skills are lacking right now, but you don’t have to let it hold you back. Instead voice it out there when talking with people: “Hey, I’m Justin - nice to meet you. I’m kind of nervous about this because it’s been so long since I’ve met somebody new. Tell me a bit about yourself.”
Resources Mentioned * Contact Justin: Website | Instagram * The Struggle Is Real
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Isaac Mashman is a businessman, podcast host, and public speaker. Over the span of several years, and nearly a dozen various business ideas, it was in 2020 that Isaac launched his company Mashman Ventures, a public relations firm that specializes in working with people who want to be followed, in-demand, and respected to build their personal brands. In this episode, we hone in on what personal branding means and also how it relates to making meaningful connections with others.
Highlights & Takeaways * An elevator pitch is how you would sum up what you have going on in a short amount of time - Isaac approaches it by building rapport and focusing on the other person, rather than immediately trying to sell * Personal branding is something that you have already had since you were born - it’s who you are, your reputation, and your relationship with the general public * How Isaac was able to facilitate a connection between his musician friend and a famous local artist whom he respected, but never met. Now the artist has been managing Isaac’s friend for a year now * You don't have to grow every relationship, because you might be going in a different direction and have different values than each other * Aggressive patience is understanding that things take time, but also recognizing that if you have a vision of where you want to get to, why not get there sooner if you can?
Resources Mentioned * Contact Isaac: Website | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn * Mashman Ventures * Chase the Vision Podcast * “Personal Branding: A Manifesto on Fame and Influence” by Isaac Mashman * “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie * “Who Not How: The Formula to Achieve Bigger Goals Through Accelerating Teamwork” by Dan Sullivan
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Col Cseke is the Artistic & Executive Director at Inside Out Theatre, which is a Deaf and disability theatre company in Calgary invested in artistic excellence, community development, and deepening our cultures’ accessibility. He also runs a podcast called Mad Practice with his best buddy JD, where they talk about living with madness and generally just revel in their friendship. In this episode, we explore his journey with theatre and the connections he’s made within that industry, as well as the mental health effects of the pandemic and how it’s shifted our interactions with people. A candid and inspirational conversation, he shares a lesson he learned this past year: “Good people know good people.” In other words, connecting with one good person who is very involved in the community can lead to all these other relationships with awesome people.
Highlights & Takeaways * Col has always had an inclination towards storytelling and community building, and so a life in a theatre gave him a chance to do both of these things * Inside Out Theatre emphasizes that work created by and centered around artists with disabilities or deaf artists is a really vital part of us. It’s not a charitable or “nice thing to do”, but that in itself is a rich and thriving culture. * How during the pandemic he convinced himself that he was introvert and didn’t need to be around other people, which wasn’t true. But it was his coping mechanism as a way to not ask for help or be vulnerable with others. * Becoming comfortable with reaching out to friends just to talk and catch up, and not for any other particular reason or facade * How it’s difficult for a lot of people to make friends as an adult, but recognize that that’s okay too
Resources Mentioned * Contact Col: Email * Inside Out Theatre * PechaKuchaYYC * Mad Practice Podcast
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September Plumer is a Chartered Professional Accountant (CPA) currently working towards her MBA. She is also currently the President of the Dinosaur Toastmaster club. She sees Toastmasters as a great middle ground of having activities for both task-oriented and relationship-oriented people. What does she mean by this? Well, a few years ago, she read about people either lean towards being task-oriented which means you’re great that you’re getting stuff done, but struggle in relationships. Or you’re relationship-oriented which means you’re great at connecting with people, but you don’t get as much done. In this episode, we explore this dynamic as well as her project to write down 4500 things she was grateful for.
Highlights & Takeaways * John Gottman’s concept of bids (any attempt to connect with someone) and the 3 ways it can be responded to. This is what separates long-term happy couples from those who are less happy * As an accountant, she can spend a lot of her career by herself, but how in her MBA right now, she’s been challenged to think more of how she can manage and motivate others effectively * Gratitude journaling helped her to be more relationship-oriented by writing down people she was grateful for and then texting them to let them know * When she hit 4,500 items of gratitude, she felt like she had strengthened that muscle to where it needed to be and that it had totally changed her life, even though her circumstances hadn’t changed * At one point in her life, her house was bursting with all the things she had bought thinking that it would make her feel like she was enough and was doing okay, but she now realizes that decluttering is one way she could take control of her life * If she could put any message on a billboard for the world to see, it would be: “Our lives affect and influence the people who are around us […] So remember you make a difference, no matter how big or how small your circle is.”
Resources Mentioned * Contact September: LinkedIn | Email * “The Relationship Cure” by Joan Declaire & John M. Gottman * “What Happened to You?” by Bruce D. Perry & Oprah Winfrey * “Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions” by Johann Hari * “BE 2.0 (Beyond Entrepreneurship 2.0): Turning Your Business into an Enduring Great Company” by Jim Collins and William C. Lazier
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Mackenzie Putici is a man of diverse tastes, pun intended. He is a sommelier (that’s a fancy term for someone who is a wine expert) and runs companies that provide wine and food tour experiences. He is passionate about bringing people together through the love of food, story, spaces, and travel. As someone who has traveled to 43 countries, he has lots of interesting stories to share, including a story of how he got invited to eat at a stranger's house in Morocco.
Highlights & Takeaways * While working in the restaurant industry, he reminded himself of why people come back and that can be in your personal presence or at the restaurant or in your business - it comes down to hospitality * How he was able to establish partnerships with wineries and restaurants to run his tours * How a lot of us have memories and comforts around food and family, and how it can also connect strangers together * Whether it’s in theater or other aspects of life, people genuinely want to see you succeed and be the best version of yourself * Truly seek excitement in life and if you're not excited about what you're doing, find a way to shake things up
Resources Mentioned * Contact Mackenzie: Instagram | LinkedIn | Website * New World Wine Tours * Eating Through TO
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Alisha Ebrahim is currently a Health Sciences student at the University of Calgary and a researcher at the Hotchkiss Brain Institute. In addition to her love of science, Alisha has a strong passion for poetry. In her work, she incorporates English poetry with lines from the Qur’an and Ismaili Muslim devotional hymns to help foster a cosmopolitan ethic in the poetry community. In this episode, we explore her journey with poetry and the role it plays in her life now, including running a successful Instagram page called Paper Wings Poetry.
Highlights & Takeaways * Why Alisha is aiming to put words to the feelings that can't be described * How the name “Paper Wings Poetry” came about and what it symbolizes * What matters is being her authentic self rather than conforming to society’s version of who you should be * Both science and art are trying to explain the world, being a scientist who writes poetry allows her to have a holistic view * Integrating English poetry with lines from the Qur’an, Ismaili Muslim devotional hymns, and her Gujarati heritage to show that there is beauty in pluralism * Her journey from being shy to taking on leadership positions with the University of Calgary Creative Writing Circle and Ismaili Students’ Association
Resources Mentioned
- Contact Alisha: Instagram
- Calgary Ismaili Students’ Association (CISA)
- University of Calgary Creative Writing Circle
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Priscilla is a moderator for panels with politicians, UN diplomats, and people working in the area of venture capital and business. She is also a prolific speaker, and is currently founding her own start-up where she aims to connect visionaries and changemakers with the best private member, business and management clubs in the world. In this episode, we explore her journey from how she was once shy to the person she is today. She emphasizes that everything is possible, and that “from this second on, you can work on going there wherever you want to be and whoever you want to be.”
Highlights & Takeaways * Having remarkable moments during her moderation career where diplomats from different countries would meet afterwards for wine and conversations * It is an exception if there’s no technical issues during a moderation event, but how she’s learned to prepare well * How she observed, read, and practiced how to connect with others * How to network with people on LinkedIn and make meaningful connections * The launch of her start-up which is aiming to match young visionaries and changemakers with the best clubs around the world * Why she sailed across the Atlantic Ocean and what she learned from the experience
Resources Mentioned * Contact Priscilla: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn * Pod Match
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Nathalie Blais is a Master Certified Coach (MCC) and the Co-Founder of the Canada Coach Academy. She was the facilitator for the Personal and Business Performance Coaching program which I have recently completed. In this episode, we chat about what drew her towards the coaching profession, why she started the Canada Coach Academy, and how coaching helps make meaningful connections. Coaching has impacted people across the age range, including a pilot program she ran for Grade 5 and 6 students to executives in large corporations that are wanting to up their game.
Highlights & Takeaways * How coaching is different from other helping professions like therapy, consulting, or mentoring * Why Nathalie and her co-founder Andrew are driven by the mission to multiply the impact of coaching in the world * Making two millimeter shifts in the way you engage with others, such as an extra pause before you speak, or changing from an close-ended to open-ended question * Adopting a coaching mindset by believing that others are doing their best, not putting them in a box, and utilizing the superpower of curiosity * How a 10-minute conversation where you show curiosity and empathy to the other person can have more of an impact than you think
Resources Mentioned
- Contact Nathalie: Email | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn
- Canada Coach Academy
- “Everyday Leadership” TED Talk
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KTheChosen is a hip-hop artist originally from Zimbabwe, but currently residing in Calgary where he is fostering connections and collaborations through his work. The recent release of his album +Vice which acts as an audio time capsule of the pandemic space that we’ve been in, and explores themes such as grief, feminism, and colonialism. In this episode, we cover topics like why his stage name is KTheChosen, his journey as a hip-hop artist, and his answer to the question of “What do you want to be remembered for after you’ve passed away?”
Highlights & Takeaways * How his mom would write letters to him while he was still in her womb, and how that’s shaped who he is today * Even when there’s only 1 voice in a song, there’s still multiple people involved in its creation, which means collaboration is inherent within music-making * Why he believes in nurturing future artists so that they don’t have to start from ground zero * Teaching kids how to write their own raps about science, and working with teenage artists on their marketing and branding * Life is about planting seeds that can continue to grow without you
Resources Mentioned * Contact KTheChosen: Instagram | Spotify | YouTube * The Urban Shave * 10th Street Boxing * Kaffeeklatsch * Science Genius * Antyx
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Ron MacTavish is a Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM) and the VP of Membership for Dynamically Speaking Toastmasters. With over 15,600 clubs in the world, Toastmasters is an international organization for people to develop their public speaking and leadership skills. In this episode, we talk about how he’s built connections around his interests of Toastmasters, travelling, and books. He says: Don't go through your life wishing “I wonder what would have happened if I had talked to her or talked to him? It's far better to step out and try and make that connection than to live in regret.”
Highlights & Takeaways * How Toastmasters helped him advance his career within sales and management, and why he returned back after a 16-year break from Toastmasters * How Dynamically Speaking Toastmasters has actually thrived during the pandemic by now having members from all across the globe * Ron’s “Lit Gang” and why he asks people about what they’re reading * Why his favourite books are “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and the works of Leo Tolstoy * Why he takes literary tours when he travels to a country * The story of how Ron connected with someone in Burma because he chose to wear a Saskatchewan Roughriders shirt
Resources Mentioned * Contact Ron MacTavish: rbmacjack@yahoo.com * Dynamically Speaking Toastmasters * The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey * War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
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Alice Lam is the co-founder of Good Neighbour, which is the first pay-what-you-want thrift store in the city of Calgary and it’s completely volunteer-run. The store opened 3 months ago and has been a hub of connections, and a way to create a more inclusive and sustainable city. But before co-founding Good Neighbour, Alice had a long history of volunteering. In this episode, we chat about the story of her parents fleeing Vietnam because of the communist regime, how that’s shaped the types of causes she’s passionate about, and the societal challenges that we are facing right now.
Highlights & Takeaways
- For a long time, she had an identity crisis of not feeling like she belonged to her ethnic culture, but also not feeling like she belonged in Canada either. This contributed to her always searching for community and trying to reconnect with her roots and find herself
- Volunteering to read to immigrant children instilling a strong impression of how valuable volunteers are in the community and helping people become better versions of themselves
- Volunteering helps you find people who share the same intrinsic values as you and how you can find volunteering opportunities suited for you
- The impact and inspiration behind Volly (an app to help people find volunteering opportunities), and Good Neighbour
- Why she feels like we're on a race against time in terms of solving societal problems and wanting to help people who have passionate ideas
Resources Mentioned
- Contact Alice Lam: admin@vollyapp.com | Twitter
- Good Neighbour YYC
- Tigerstedt Flea Market
- Calgary Community Fridge
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Thaïs Despont is a videographer originally from France and is the creator of the “Nomad Videographer Project.” In August 2021, she travelled across Canada to help local businesses by creating promotional videos, in exchange for providing her with a place to sleep. Over the course of that month, she created 10 videos in different 4 provinces. Hear her amazing story of seeking discomfort as we talk about the inspiration, challenges, and successes of this project.
Highlights & Takeaways
- How she came to Canada with the dream of building a life here, and how the pandemic impacted her
- Her process of reaching out to these businesses and creating a month-long plan to travel across the country
- Her life-changing experience of filming at the Athabasca Glacier and learning how fast that the ice is melting
- How she used to receive hateful comments of her creative work, but she pushed through because she liked videography
- If you have an opportunity at some point to get out of the system and see what else is possible, it’s the best thing to do
Resources Mentioned
- Contact Thaïs Despont: Website
- Nomad Videographer Project: YouTube | Instagram
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Cherie Werner is the Co-Founder and Chief Kindness Officer at KOYA. KOYA is a social platform and app designed to create meaningful and intentional connections. You can send people a video or audio message along with an optional gift, like some money for coffee. You pick a location where the KOYA will activate, say your friend’s favourite coffee shop. The recipient receives a notification that they have a KOYA to discover, and you can provide them with hints to nudge them in the right direction. In this episode, we explore KOYA, as well as the F.I.E.S.T.A. Meetup group that she hosts in Austin, Texas, and much more on the topic of connections!
Highlights & Takeaways
- How Cherie’s family would intentionally leave keepsakes to show that they were thinking of each other, like self-recorded audiobooks, objects hidden in their suitcase, or a 6-month journal that you can only read one day at a time
- How Gen Z is the most overly connected generation, but also the loneliest
- There is your biological family who brought you up, but also your chosen family that invest into you
- Meeting an executive from Lunchclub on her 100th call, and then having their team over for a home cooked meal while they were visiting Austin
- Why she started the F.I.E.S.T.A. (Founders, Investors, Entrepreneurs, Startups, Techies, and Austin Newcomers) Meetup group
- You're never too old. It's never too late. Do your part in showing up and being intentional with the people in your life.
Resources Mentioned
- Contact Cherie: cherie@getkoya.com | LinkedIn
- KOYA
- Lunchclub
- F.I.E.S.T.A. Meetup Group
- Belonging: Reconnecting America’s Loneliest Generation
- We’re Not Really Strangers
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Susan Riley (or more commonly known as Ms. Riley) is a junior high teacher who taught me nearly a decade ago. It’s remarkable that we’ve stayed in touch, including grabbing lunch and dinner with groups of students that she’s taught over the years. We talk about her career as a teacher and the impact that she has made on the over 3000 students who passed through her classroom. Especially for former students, this is a really special episode that you don’t want to miss.
Highlights & Takeaways
- How she went from working in theatre, to oil and gas, to going back to university to become a teacher
- How she “bullied” (in other words, pushed students outside of their comfort zone) in order to help them develop not just academically, but also in their personal growth
- How she represents a space and a time in the lives of students, and how it makes her happy to know that her students are there and doing well
- How the pandemic and remote teaching affected her interactions with students
- Finding something that you love to do and don’t be afraid to make changes if needed
Resources Mentioned
- Contact Susan Riley: smriley.riley@gmail.com
- Connection Coaching
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Aakash Dhingra has started many initiatives to provide others with a platform to self-reflect and share their stories. For example, he is creating a photo-zine called Unshakable Self (Belief). Inspired by his own struggles of self-doubt, he is interviewing people about how they overcame their self-doubt in order to fully see their self-worth and find meaning in life. Another one of his projects that we talk about is his Compassion Cards. This is a conversation-based card game that he’s used to connect with himself and others on the topic of compassion. Driven by his curiosity and openness, he makes connections wherever he goes!
Highlights & Takeaways
- Sharing stories of people overcoming their self-doubt and Aakash’s goal to reach 1 million people, especially for teenagers to know that they are not defined by anything external to them
- How the more he is himself in any situation, the more he feels like life is amazing
- Having the harsh realization that he had been acting judgmentally towards himself and others when he had made one of his classmates cry
- Why Aakash asked 20 strangers if he could hug them and playing the ukulele at an open mic night
- How he created his own card game and approached strangers to talk about compassion
Resources Mentioned
- Contact Aakash: Instagram | Website
- Unshakable Self-Belief
- Compassion Cards
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Jonnie Rozin is the Director of Operations with Seek Discomfort. He’s been my third guest from this amazing company that I’ve had the pleasure to chat with. He actually got his position not because he applied for it, but because of a chance encounter with the CEO while walking in the streets of LA. This is a perfect example of the culture within Seek Discomfort, which is trying to build the world’s largest family. We chat about how they are building this culture and how Jonnie embodies the philosophy of seeking discomfort in his day-to-day life!
Highlights & Takeaways
- How a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet
- How there is always a “third door” to getting what you want and succeeding in life, rather than waiting in line
- Experiencing loneliness when he moved to a new city, but learning that people make a place and surrounding yourself with amazing people will make it better
- How Airbnb and Yes Theory are breaking down borders and creating connections by sharing culture
- There are many ways people can seek discomfort in their lives, not just skydiving and bungee jumping
Resources Mentioned
- Contact Jonnie: jonnie@seekdiscomfort.com | Instagram
- Jonnie’s Articles (Medium)
- Seek Discomfort
- Yes Theory
- “The Third Door” by Alex Banayan
- Seeker Sessions
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Sandra Lamouche is a Cree Woman from the Bigstone Cree Nation in Northern Alberta and married into the Piikani Nation in Southern Alberta. She is a 2 times TEDx Speaker, presenting her first talk on “The Beautiful Struggle Of Life and Other Hoop Dance Teachings”, and a second talk on “Growing Through Challenges”. In this episode, we talk about how hoop dancing has transformed Sandra’s life, and has led her down a path of being a public speaker, an Indigenous writer, and previously working in a school division. A central theme to all of these things is relationship - how are we related to the people and world around us? How can we build trust in these relationships? And why are these relationships important? All of these answers and more are in this episode!
Highlights & Takeaways
- The symbolism of the hoop dance and how it represents the beauty and struggle of life
- The role that interconnectedness and reciprocity play in relationships
- Belonging is where you can be yourself and accepted for who you are, rather than needing to change yourself to fit in
- How Western colonial systems tend to prioritize being productive and very structured in meetings, as opposed to providing intentional time and space to get to know one another
- Things in life get complicated and messy before you sort through them, but in the end, it’s worth it
Resources Mentioned
- Contact Sandra: Website
- TEDx Talk: The Beautiful Struggle Of Life and Other Hoop Dance Teachings
- TEDx Talk: Growing Through Challenges
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When the pandemic started and Ahmad Jabbir wasn’t able to go on any adventures for a long while, he challenged himself to virtually meet 100 strangers all around the world! In this episode, we chat about the inspiration behind this project and how hearing these stories from 89 different cities have impacted his life. He also opens up about his own story of overcoming bullying and social anxiety to get to where he is today. Looking for an inspiring conversation? This is it!
Highlights & Takeaways
- How hearing about other people’s stories was a wake-up call to how privileged Ahmad’s life was and it led him to be more grateful
- His social psychology professor in university explaining that we dig deep down, we all have one core thought and how you can use journaling to challenge negative beliefs
- How working hard towards one’s projects is like the growth of bamboo: the first four years, you won’t see anything, but then on the fifth year it grows 80 feet
- Different parts of the world have different “excuses to connect”
- There’s no right or wrong way to connecting
Resources Mentioned
- Contact Ahmad: ahmad@seekdiscomfort.com | Facebook
- Rob Lawless (Rob’s 10K Friends)
- We’re Not Really Strangers
- “Grit” by Angela Duckworth
- Seek Discomfort
- Humans of ULeth
- Living Room Series
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Kathleen Massey is the Associate Vice-President (Students) at the University of Lethbridge, which means that she oversees various student services. She shares the role that connection and networking have played in her life and what it looks like as we transition back to more in-person interactions. There are many helpful mindset pieces to take away from this episode, like cutting ourselves some slack if our connection skills are a bit rusty due to how long we’ve been apart.
Highlights & Takeaways
- Growing both as a farm and city kid and how that allows her to empathize with students
- Networking doesn’t have to be a business-y term, but rather as a descriptor of “I like to bring people together”
- People will forget what you've said, they'll forget what you did, but they'll never forget how you made them feel
- The balloons and bricks metaphor when it comes to building connections
- Every conversation is an opportunity to extend an invitation for ongoing connection
Resources Mentioned
- Contact Kathleen: kathleen.massey@uleth.ca
- Humans of ULeth
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Do you remember recess as a kid? Tyson Bankert has created a version of recess for adults. He is the founder of Recess Calgary, which is an inclusive space for adults to come, forget about their responsibilities for a while, and just have fun! Tyson’s personal slogan is: “Promote Justice, Edify Others and Befriend the Lonely.” We explore how he embodies this slogan in all the community development work that he does, such as with the Community Development Learning Initiative. We also talk about how unconscious bias and systemic barriers relate to the ability to connect with others. This is an insightful conversation that you want to listen to until the end.
Highlights & Takeaways
- Befriending those that feel excluded and creating spaces where people can safely opt-in and participate
- Using a strengths-based approach to engage and build communities
- How adults can boost their wellness through fun and play
- Being a queer black male and how unconscious bias affects interactions
- Questions to ask yourself when you want to get more involved in new spaces and opportunities for connection
Resources Mentioned
- Contact Tyson/Recess Calgary: Instagram, Website
- Community Development Learning Initiative
- “The Art of Gathering” by Priya Parker
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Adam Edery is the Community Manager for Seek Discomfort, which is a clothing company. What does a clothing company have to do with connections? Everything! Seek Discomfort was the clothing company started by Yes Theory, a YouTube channel all about going outside of your comfort zone and enjoying life to the fullest. Adam and I chat about this amazing community, and about one of their recent clothing drops, titled You’re Not Alone. The campaign aimed to promote more awareness around mental health and reminding people that they’re not alone in their struggles. Adam shares about his personal experiences of anxiety and going to therapy. We also chat about his journey of moving to LA, and meeting new people. Oh, and he’s a pickleball enthusiast. Wondering what that is? Watch until the end of the episode.
Highlights & Takeaways
- Destigmatizing mental health and therapy to show that people aren’t alone and that there are resources available
- Responding to anxiety and panic attacks, and recognizing that it doesn’t go away, but can be managed
- Having a good type of anxiety that isn’t debilitating, but rather fuels you
- The once-in-a-lifetime opportunities that can arise by seeking discomfort
- How connections help create a support system and people that you can share your amazing experiences with
Resources Mentioned
- Contact Adam: Instagram
- Seek Discomfort
- Yes Theory
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Emma Kobelsky works as a camp counsellor at Between Friends, which is an organization that provides social, recreational, and development opportunities for people with disabilities. We explore how this provides an important space for connections, and how summer camp has motivated her to pursue a career in Occupational Therapy. Emma and I also happen to share the same personality type, and we chat about how being introverted shapes the type of connections we seek out.
Highlights & Takeaways
- How Between Friends offers a space where everyone feels like they belong and aren’t excluded because of their disability
- The usage of person-first language (“a person with a disability” or “a person with autism”) contrasted with people who want to self-identify as a disabled creator or autistic person
- What an Occupational Therapist does
- The Myers-Briggs Personality Test and how we’re both INFPs
- What a high-quality connection looks and feels like
Resources Mentioned
- Contact Emma: Instagram
- Between Friends
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Steven Ngo is a musician, social entrepreneur, and lawyer. When I think of all the people I know, he is the prime example of a connector. Wherever he goes, he has the ability to create communities of like-minded individuals. This includes hosting events for people to have conversations on deeper topics like self-worth and vulnerability, connecting musicians to perform music at hospitals and elderly care homes, and giving back through the Federation of Asian Canadian Lawyers. Most recently, Steven has been leading a movement to make reporting hate crimes more accessible after he experienced an Anti-Asian hate crime in Vancouver back in April 2021. This episode explores connections in the context of developing new relationships, but also leveraging connections to advance social justice.
Highlights & Takeaways
- How he started inviting friends over to his living room for deep conversations
- Letting go of our comparisons to others and challenging our perceptions around connections
- The formula to building connections in new places and around your interests
- The three buckets theory of social movements: champions, fence-sitters, and haters
- Approaching social justice with love and kindness rather than anger
Resources Mentioned
- Contact Steven: Instagram
- Living Room Series
- fixpolicereporting.ca
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Bethany Galley is an upcoming TEDx speaker and her talk is about the time she spent in the favelas of Brazil. She initiated a photography project called Through the Lens, where she gave children film cameras and asked them to capture photos in order to show their perspective of life in the favela. In this episode, we talk about the power of stories and how we can choose the lens (pun intended) that we see the world from.
Highlights & Takeaways
- Building relationships when coming in as an outsider and gaining the trust of a community
- Challenging how Western media normally portrays the bad and how Bethany wanted to highlight the good instead
- The definition of “sonder” and realizing the power of each person’s story
- Telling your own story in 27 photos
Resources Mentioned
- Contact Bethany: bethanygalley@talktalk.net | LinkedIn
- Bethany’s Work: Through the Lens | Moradores de Favela
- TEDxAberdeen
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Brianne Erichsen is a Registered Clinical Social Worker as well as my former therapist while I was at the University of Lethbridge. She shares her perspective as a mental health professional on topics such as making connections and social anxiety. She also shares her own experiences with connecting with people and how that has shaped her life.
Highlights & Takeaways
- How seeing a counselor can be for everyone, not just people in a crisis or diagnosed with a mental illness
- The analogy of mental health is like a house
- How to better connect with yourself and others
- The fear ladder approach to breaking down fears around connecting with people
- Combating social anxiety through exposing yourself to more social situations
Resources Mentioned
- Contact Brianne: Website | Instagram | counselling.services@uleth.ca
- Self Compassion Exercises
- Insight Timer
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Tony Esteves is the creator of the Talk2MorePeople Project, where he challenged himself to meet one new stranger a day for a full year. In 2021, he published a book about this project, titled "Talk2MorePeople: Change Your Life by Meeting People" which contains many practical tips on how to connect with new people. He is a large inspiration for me and I can think of no better person to launch the Excuses to Connect podcast with.
Highlights & Takeaways
- Overcoming obstacles to connecting with new people and what the research says
- How he met his current partner on Day 305
- Why it's important to follow up after you've met someone
- How you can connect with new people through various events and communities
- Bringing a mindset of mindfulness and adaptability to become more comfortable with talking to people
Resources Mentioned
- Contact Tony: talk2morepeople.com / tony@talk2morepeople.com
- Lunchclub
- Dense Web of Meaningful Connections
- Living Room Series
- Mindcamp
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Welcome to the Excuses to Connect podcast! This is a podcast about actively creating the conditions that make meaningful connections easier. In other words, you can make excuses to connect. Join me, Richard Lee-Thai, as I have conversations with experts, friends, and strangers on their struggles and successes when it comes to human connections. As a listener, I hope that you can take these insights and find excuses to connect with people. You never know how any one connection can transform your life.
Learn more at excusestoconnect.com
Support me at Buy Me a Coffee