Just Matt and CJ: Recent Episodes
CJ Morgan
You’ve probably heard Matt Bearden or CJ Morgan on the radio in Austin before. The two vets of the Austin airwaves have been on for over a decade and are now teaming up for a new show. Matt and CJ will be (hopefully) funny, informative and ,
On today's episode the boys celebrate Valentine's Day.
CJ finds a list of most romantic restaurants in Austin, and he also has advice for people who have waited 'til the last minute to figure things out.
The boys unveil a new segment called Say My Name where listeners can chime in for a request to be mentioned on air. Okay, the idea sounds good enough, but how about the execution? LISTEN. FIND OUT. I'M SORRY I'M YELLING.
And the boys look into a list of the best places for a good cry in the city. CJ and Spenny both deal with mental illness, so they're no strangers to a public display of dismay. How does this list hold up to their scrutiny? Listen and see for yourself.
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On today's episode, the boys accomplish several milestones that have never occurred on the show before. I won't spoil them for you, but I will give hints.
On Today is the Greatest, CJ proposes a new national holiday for bringing Super Bowl party leftovers to work. Spenny gets to work assembling a submission for an official new holiday.
Madeline from Austin Monthly magazine stops by the show to discuss their annual singles' party. CJ explores his sordid past and how he ended up in the magazine himself. And has Madeline ever attended one of these events herself???? FIND OUT. LISTEN.
Oh, and CJ finds a list of most expensive LEGO figures and kits. Apparently he owns some of them. Not sure why you'd announce that to the world, but okay. Let's rob him (let's please not do that)!
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CJ is considering finally selling off all of his LEGO collection. But why? And what are the pros and cons? Spenny and the listeners help CJ find a solution to this particular conundrum.
How 'bout that halftime show? Super Bowl LIX was many things, but being impressive was not one of them. CJ and Spenny share their strange thoughts on one of America's biggest recent traditions.
And the boys celebrate inventions for National Inventors' Day. CJ shares the top 10 inventions of the last 1000 years.
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How about that big sports game, huh? Wasn't it quite riveting? CJ, Spenny, and Bailey all share their thoughts on Super Bowl LIX.
Oh yeah! They also made some prop bets! See how CJ and Spenny's guesses panned out on today's Sports Bet! And who won??? Listen, damn you. Listen and you shall bear witness.
And did CJ and Spenny finally upset somebody with their antics? Yes, they did. Learn more about what happened on this episode's Did You Know!?
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CJ and Spenny discuss the perfect nap. No, it's not just their opinions either. There's actual science involved.
Today is a Show n' Tell episode, and the gang have fun things to share from their lives.
And the CJMS episode description writer is really tired this week, so they're going to stop writing. Enjoy the episode.
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Oh, the ultra rich and their strange pastimes...
On today's episode CJ explains his desire to prepare oxtail soup for his Super Bowl party even though the boys already clearly stated in the previous episode that snacks at the big game event should be more convenient.
Also, the boys celebrate National Chopsticks Day by discussing their various experiences with the foreign utensils. Did You Know there is etiquette to using these things too?
And how will the boys' prop bets for the Super Bowl turn out? Bailey is here to make sure they stick to their decisions and fulfill their obligations.
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Today the guys discuss the official CJ Morgan Show Super Bowl Snack Bracket. Which snacks made the list, and which one rose above all the rest to win the top spot as everyone's favorite football snack? Listen, damn you. Listen to the episode.
CJ was a weatherman once! In honor of National Weatherpersons Day the boys celebrate their favorite weather reporters in the area, and CJ tells the tale of his experience behind the news desk quipping about clouds and rain.
And apparently Shakespeare was a bit of a jerk. Learn why (AND MORE) on today's favorite fact-finding segment - Did You Know!?
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CJ's new purchase for a home project involving cheap tile has turned against him. Spenny has made soup before but wasn't a huge fan. And Bailey thinks purple ketchup was the pinnacle of food technology.
Is Texas getting a new state park? CJ and Spenny discuss on today's local segment.
And what SHOULDN'T you post about online? In honor of Facebook's 21st birthday, CJ and Spenny discuss a list of things professionals say you shouldn't post online for your own safety.
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The CJ Morgan Show may have to pursue a lawsuit after a sister station's programming steals one of the boys' cherished catchphrases.
How long do you keep your condiments refrigerated? CJ and Spenny discuss the most common concoctions that people let go bad, and how and why they could kill you.
And CJ is a bit upset that his Dallas Mavericks traded their star player. How is he handling it? Well, listen. Find out. Explore. You deserve this.
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CJ throws a tantrum right before the show, and several coworkers witnessed his outrage. The boys invite one of the witnesses (comedian Sawyer Stull) to help intro the show and discuss the carnage CJ caused.
Today is Show n Tell, so CJ, Bailey, and Spenny all share some things old, new, and in-between that they appreciate in their lives.
And Spenny has a bone to pick with some of the writing used on the National Day Calendar, a website the show often uses for Today is the Greatest!
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CJ has a gross finger that requires medical attention. Instead, he decides to operate on it during the show. Gross. Special shout out to Lucas, our cameraman, who had to actually watch CJ poke his pus filled abscess. Spenny couldn't handle it.
Also, CJ has embarrassed himself again in front of his lover. How did he do it this time? Come on. You know the drill by now. Listen to the episode.
And the boys learn about how dangerous ketchup used to be on this episode's version of Did You Know!?
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The boys invite a couple oldschool tattoo artists to come hang and talk about the upcoming Texas Stars Tatoo Convention. Spenny might even get a tattoo there this weekend.
Did You Know that tornadoes occur mostly in North America? Well, now you know that. Learn more fun facts on today's epsiode.
And Spenny found a mistake that CJ made on the previous episode and decides to call him out.
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On today's episode, the boys welcome comedians Dulce Mac and Grace Kirk to the studio for some fun and nonsense. Dulce and Grace host the Yeah Yeah Podcast, which is returning in February.
Also, today is National Plan Your Vacation Day, so the boys talk about places they'd like to see and places they've seen before.
And how much is that crusty, old band t-shirt you've held onto for far too long worth? The guys discuss the current top ten most expensive band tees.
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Today is National Bubble Wrap Day, so the boys celebrate by discussing this amazing, plastic invention.
Learning new habits is hard, and it takes a lot more time than we initially thought. Learn more on today's For Your Health!
And Spenny debuts a new intro for the show.
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Why was CJ sick yesterday? He thinks he might know why, but Spenny is convinced it was something else. Something secretive. Something scandalous, perhaps.
On this week's edition of Show n Tell, CJ brings an important emergency tool to share with the classroom, and Bailey brings something of hers as well. Find out what they brought for discussion on today's episode.
And football season is coming to an end. How will Spenny fare against CJ in the coming Sports Bet next week? Listen to his bets and get to speculating!
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Today is a mini-episode for some reason. We don't know why! But join the boys (and Bailey) as they discuss hot sauce (and sports) and riches at the bottom of the ocean.
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Spenny gets shamed for a huge mistake he made on the last episode, CJ is excited to continue the Show n Tell segment with his favorite childhood weapon, and what in the holy hell is a chicken noodle soup cough drop? All that and more on today's episode.
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The boys discuss nerdy news on todyay's Nerd Report like David Lynch's passing, Elon Musk's lying about his gaming skills, and the announcement of the Nintendo Switch 2.
Also, what is the origin of the practice of knocking on wood? CJ and Spenny discover on today's Did You Know!?
And Austin Chronicle editor Caris stops by to highlight this year's Music Awards poll.
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Today the boys learn about butt stuff on their fact-finding segment Did You Know!?
It's also Hat Day, so CJ and Spenny discuss the ancient cranial adornment.
And CJ finds a list of winter essentials worth keeping in your car in case of emergency.
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Is CJ wrong for wanting to avoid small talk at work? His new wireless headphones has him overthinking things.
CJ and Spenny celebrate pastrami on Today is the Greatest for National Pastrami Day with a segment so inspirational that Spenny finds another name for the podcast episode.
And who won last week's Sports Bet!? Bailey swings by to dish out the results after the Longhorns lose the Cotton Bowl to Ohio State.
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CJ confesses that when he was a child he enjoyed when certain birds would dive at him as they tried to protect their nests.
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Is CJ being paranoid? Technology seems to be messing with him recently. Does he need to hire a computer scientist to help him exorcise his cyber demons? Or is he just nuts?
Today is National House Plant Appreciation Day, so the boys celebrate by discussing the benefits of owning a piece of nature.
And we reach the stunning conclusion to the SCIENCE experiment CJ started earlier this week. Will essential oils or polymer clay destroy your LEGO collection? Find out on today's episode.
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CJ is upset with Spenny and the rest of his coworkers for something that happened yesterday. Find out what that is and why it's somehow not CJ's fault.
He also screwed up the New Year's Eve show we held with The Toadies. Listen to that story on today's episode.
And what random statistics about your life would you love to know? The boys discuss what the average person would like to know according to a survey, as well as their own strange desires.
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CJ dons his lab coat to perform some experiments and get some answers on today's show.
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CJ is temporarily broke, but he's not exactly excited to remedy his situation.
Also, the Sports Bet for Season 5 of The CJ Morgan Show begins on today's episode! Will Spenny be able to claim victory over CJ?
And there's something a lot of people own that can destroy your LEGO collection! CJ reports on today's special edition of the Nerd Report.
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The boys are excited to kick off the fifth season of The CJ Morgan Show. Normally a show that has been around as long as this tends to suffer from a "jumping the shark" moment. Not this show. In fact, the boys are determined to lean into the stereotype and jump as many sharks as they can.
Also, the Golden Globes just happened! And CJ and Spenny don't get it. Why do people watch? Where is the enjoyment?? What is the point??? They can't understand! Learn what "jumping the shark" means and why CJ and Spenny are so confused by Awards Season.
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We're back, baby. Happy New Year!
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CJ has returned from London, and he has a few stories to share.
Did he speak in a fake English accent? Did he embarrass his lover? Did he throw a series of childish tantrums? You might know the answers to these questions, but you don't know exactly how the madness unfolded. Find out on today's episode.
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CJ claims he had a wild weekend out camping, but Spenny suspects he isn't being entirely truthful. Not only that, but CJ won't even tell the story until next episode. So he's being a freaking tease. A dirty, lying tease!
Also, should CJ buy a classic muscle car? He's come across what he calls a "good deal" and wants to jump on it ASAP.
And the boys discuss dating at fast food joints, the average amount of calories Americans consume on Thanksgiving, and McDonald's new, saucy offering for the holiday season.
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Yesterday was the radio company's potluck lunch, and CJ has some complaints. Spenny didn't attend, but luckily friend (and Sports Bet arbiter) Bailey was there to flex her cooking skills.
Today is National Stuffing Day as well, so CJ and Spenny celebrate their favorite side dish.
And there's more, but I don't know what to type anymore. I'm tired. Please let me leave.
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Today is World Toilet Day, and the boys celebrate the only way they know how. By talking s**t.
Also, tomorrow is the workplace potluck, and Bailey wants to know what the guys are bringing to the event.
And people usually prefer to be anywhere else but work, but where are the most common places people daydream of? Find out on today's Business Ethics segment.
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The boys check out a list of dating terms for the coming 2025 year.
Also, what was up with the Mike Tyson v Jake Paul fight? CJ and Spenny share their thoughts.
And what are the top ten most common nightmares? Find out on today's episode. CJ's didn't even make it on the list.
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Comedian Avery Moore filled in for Spenny today so we tried to make some more money by making more fake commercials for real advertisers. CJ almost got in a fight thanks to road rage and Twilight sucks.. all that and so much (Avery) Moore!
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CJ finds a list of Wal-Mart's top banned albums. Yeah. Did you know Wal-Mart used to sell music CDs? Well, find out what they didn't allow in their stores on today's show.
Also, the boys discover a list that says how many push-ups you should be able to do according to your age, and it's even published by a health clinic! Naturally CJ and Spenny compete for highest push-up count.
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Today the boys celebrate the restaurants in Austin and all over Texas that received some Michelin stars for their excellence.
Also the Grammys are approaching, so CJ runs down a list of 101X-appropriate music that has made it into the nominations this year. Spenny is excited in that classic, Spenny way (he's not).
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CJ has discovered a list of advice for when you're about to fall down. He believes he can educate people like him who perform pratfalls on a regular basis.
Plus today is Veteran's Day and Ice Cream Sundae Day, so naturally CJ has some gripes about both.
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Call on us for love! Comedian Katherine Hutchins fills in for Spenny and we try to set her up on a date.
Sorry for the shorter than short episode but the captain fell off the plank!
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CJ painted his garage at 3AM. Spenny has dubbed this type of behavior "Meth Energy." Listen to the boys discuss how difficult it's been for them to sleep the last few days.
Today is National Men Make Dinner Day, so the lads discuss their favorite recipes to make for guests.
And CJ did a grand experiment on X, formerly Twitter. What will we learn from his investigation into the hallowed Blue Check Mark? Find out on today's episode.
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Today is Stress Awareness Day and Nachos Day, so since it's the day after Election Day, and a very stressful one at that, the boys decide to celebrate both days.
CJ gives an inspiring speech to his coworkers before completely ruining it with one of his standard, immature pranks.
And did the boys get new sweepers for the show? What are sweepers? Find out as the duo listen to and rate their favorites from their newest creations.
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CJ is worried about losing interest in his favorite music now that he's temporarily taken over Chillville hosting duties.
Who won the Sports Bet this week? How will Election Day go? How will CJ defend his new love for Daylight Savings?? Find out by listening to this episode.
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Why did Spenny title the episode this? Don't ask.
Today is National Candy Day, so the boys celebrate by surveying the listeners on their favorite candy and sharing their favorites.
Also, it's almost the end of the year, so the guys explore the best words and slang terms of the year.
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CJ has come up with a list of rules for Halloween, but Spenny thinks that it's all just a self-serving ploy.
CJ also has a bone to pick with Daylight Savings and why we should abolish it outright. The only question remains: should we stay in "Fall Back" or "Spring Forward" mode?
And you won't believe where meth was first invented. Learn where and why on today's Did You Know!?
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A "ghost marriage" isn't as cool as it sounds, but it is kinda spooky. Learn more about this weird matrimony on today's Did You Know!?
Also, today is National Candy Corn Day, so the boys celebrate by discussing America's most divisive candy.
And CJ has tips for how to cure your stomach troubles after eating too many Halloween treats. Find out how on today's For Your Health.
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CJ's dream job might be something that's actually achievable, but what does he think is his perfect job? Find out on today's episode.
Also, on today's Super Spooky Unexplained Mysteries the boys focus on a local haunted area in North Austin.
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Matt Bearden returns to cohost while Spenny is taping a nap at home. We catch up, fix the ice cream machine and play What's in the Box.
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CJ is frustrated with the calendar he uses to look for things to talk about on Today is the Greatest. Today's day? Food day. How, um, generic?
What are the acceptable Halloween costumes to wear this year, and which ones are canceled? The boys discuss.
And Insane Clown Posse has finally announced who they support for President.
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CJ revives the Super Spooky Unexplained Mysteries segment for a story about a mysterious barrel found in a new homeowner's basement.
And today is Horror Movie Day, so the boys discuss scary movies. Plus CJ has his list of not-so-scary films for the spooky season.
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Is CJ's body betraying him? He seems to constantly be in pain.
Can Spenny win a Sports Bet after losing two weeks in a row? Bailey is here to report the results.
And we've all heard the saying "it'll cost an arm and a leg!" But what does an arm and a leg actually cost? CJ has finally found an answer.
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The boys learn about the phenomenon where you think your phone is vibrating in your pocket but actually isn't.
Also, CJ is worried about using the elevator at work because it's pretty janky, and Spenny shares his story of being trapped in an elevator for over an hour.
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CJ is frustrated for his bartending friends who will be bearing the brunt of the tourists in town for the F1 races this weekend. A lot of overseas visitors prefer not to tip, as it's not a custom in their culture.
Spenny educates CJ on a cube shaped phenomenon that only Wombats can produce.
And the boys replay a fun, spooky segment from the days of The CJ Morgan Show's past.
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CJ is having toilet troubles at his house again. After struggling to replace two toilets in his house, he now has the guest room toilet to contend with. Listen to his story. And beware!
Also, Spenny upsets Sports Bet host Bailey by shaving his head. Why would this matter? Well, Bailey was tasked with thinking of new punishments for whoever loses the weekly bets, and Spenny deprived her of even more head shaving shenanigans.
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The boys are suffering after two weekends in a row of dusty adventuring in Zilker Park for ACL Fest.
Also, CJ purchased some shoes but broke a golden rule of his when it comes to buying clothes. And Spenny used to play full contact rugby?? What? The lads discuss Sports Day on today's Today is the Greatest!
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Today the boys celebrate the metric system of measurement. Also, there has only been one Vice President who has had a hit song.
A very educational episode.
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Today the boys discuss a cool meteorite impact in history, as well as the current temporary moon that the Earth has adopted until early November.
Also, is Spenny single because he has an Android phone? CJ has survey information that suggests it's possible.
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Today the guys discuss National Touch Tag Day and reminisce on their childhoods playing the classic game of tag.
Also, did Spenny ruin a concert for CJ? And why did he try to pay off a credit card with another credit card!?
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Are adults taking over Halloween? CJ and Spenny discuss.
Plus, CJ's trials and tribulations with the installation of his home toilets has finally come to an end. Hear the stunning conclusion to this saga on today's episode.
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CJ is now two years sober from alcohol. He discusses the trials and tribulations that led him to where he is today.
Also, the boys discuss Gatorade and its implementation into the sports world.
And blimps? Who woulda thought they were so rare. Spenny discusses statistics on today's Did You Know!?
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CJ is still having trouble installing his toilets at home.
Also, the boys discover a trend on TikTok that peaks their interest, and Bailey joins for a recap on last week's Sports Bet.
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Today the boys get down and dirty with some home improvement talk.
And do CJ and Spenny need to cut the caffeine? Yes. Learn why on today's For Your Health
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The boys learn a lot about how some animals "do it." You know. The sexy stuff. Don't worry. The conversation never gets too explicit or anything. The FCC is listening, after all. Plus it was done in the name of education.
And is CJ jealous that Spenny's haircut post on social media got a lot of likes? Yeah, probably.
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CJ has been pushing himself too hard, but he had a particularly difficult time last weekend that involved a Lime scooter.
Also, Spenny gets a haircut after losing last week's Sports Bet.
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How do you pronounce words properly? CJ and Spenny explore a list of the most commonly mispronounced words.
Also, CJ found a pill on the ground and desperately wants permission to take it.
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Pirate slang, CJ's annoying antics, and the wonders of the human vocabulary combine for an exciting episode of The CJ Morgan Show.
How's that? Should I write the bios like that? I don't know
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CJ's worried that his neighbors think he's a meth head because of some of his activities. Why would they possibly think this? Well, listen to CJ tell his tale on today's episode, ya dingus.
Also, Spenny teaches us all about rainbows and death.
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CJ and Spenny celebrate Monte Cristo Day by exploring CJ's shenanigans at Bennigan's when he was younger.
Also, Germans pee differently. And will CJ's new smoke machine keep his relationship together?
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Did CJ almost kill his lover (fiancé) last weekend? Spenny gets to the bottom of this mystery on today's episode.
Also, spider-goats are a thing. Thank you, science!
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Today is Friday the 13th, so CJ and Spenny declare the official beginning of Spooky Season.
CJ has big plans for his Halloween displays this year, and Spenny learns why Friday the 13th is considered a superstitious day for those of us in the West.
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Spenny is missing, so we've replaced him with Sawyer Stull for the day. Did You Know that milkshakes can be healthy for you? Find out how on today's episode.
Also, CJ is obsessed with fantasy sports talk this episode, and Sawyer learns a few tricks of the radio trade.
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CJ and Spenny discuss their favorite childhood bands that they'll never have a chance to see perform for various reasons, and the boys learn a lot about why it's good to make a bowel movement while you're on the clock.
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The gang explores more Internet acronyms on today's show with Bailey.
CJ finishes his list of best tailgating treats, and Spenny learns about something called "secondary drowning."
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Football is back, and CJ has his own list of what foods are best for the standard, celebratory tailgate.
Also, was Spenny able to finish his massive order of desserts that he had delivered while high? And the boys say farewell to legendary actor James Earl Jones. His most notable roles were King Mufasa from Disney's The Lion King and Star Wars' Darth Vader.
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CJ has returned but not officially, so he and Spenny scraped together a couple hybrid shows they did this week.
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CJ is recovering from surgery, so Spenny took the helm throughout the week and invited a few cohosts to help him keep the CJ Morgan Show ship upright.
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CJ almost ran out of fuel on his commute to work this morning.
CJ's lover Lisa stops by the show for a hang, and CJ pits her and Spenny against one another in trivia all about him. Who will win???
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CJ and Spenny invite Bailey back for a few segments, including a particularly eye-opening Did You Know!? segment.
CJ keeps putting his foot in his mouth when it comes to keeping the radio station's salespeople appeased, and Spenny gets uncomfortable about a new documentary that's being hailed as the next "Tiger King."
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CJ and Spenny celebrate Radio Day by diving deep into their sordid pasts working in the industry.
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CJ has a dream fight with Spenny, and he also had a strange dream about arguments as well. Are the boys frustrated about something?
Also, today is National Potato Day. Hooray? CJ and Spenny both love potatoes.
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CJ is realizing that he doesn't always follow through with things that he says.
Taco Bell unveils a Nostalgia Menu, dating back to some of their favorite food from the 1960s. Grover Cleveland sucks.
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Is it too early to get excited for Fall? CJ is saying he feels like Fall is on the way, but we're only halfway through August? What's the deal?
Also, Spenny, for the first time on the show, has worn a brightly colored shirt to work. And the boys discuss the Navajo Code Talkers of World War II to the best of their abilities.
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Today is National Left Handed Day, and, being left-handed, CJ discusses some of the discrimination and disappointment he's faced in a right-handed world.
Also, our Olympic Gold Meme bracket is now live. Vote for your favorite Olympic Meme from the 2024 games.
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The boys celebrate National Vinyl Day by discussing their experiences with the musical format.
Also, which memes from the Olympics deserve gold? CJ discusses his favorites with Spenny, and the boys both learn what inspired John Mayer to pick up paying guitar.
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Spenny took the day off so he only had to work for a few hours then funnyman comedian Katherine Hutchins joins The Captain in studio for more uncomfortable fun.
- Herberts Taco Hut calls out a Karen
- Spenny got punished and needs to win this week's last Olympic sports bet
- Katherine thinks its hot that CJ gets in fights and has abs*
Do you like our show? Then keep us around! Please do us a favour and share our social media posts, podcast and give us a follow! If I see you sharing us this weekend you will be put into a drawing to attend X-Sessions, concerts and exclusive show gatherings.
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CJ has been asked to find a cowboy hat for an Australian friend's daughter. Not only is he honored to have been asked, but he calls out to listeners for suggestions.
Spenny is tired of having movie spoilers show up in his social media feed, and CJ takes a mock version of a citizenship test for the good ol' USA.
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CJ is fed up with having to engage in small talk with coworkers every day. Is it so wrong to want to avoid it, though?
Also, Spenny educates us about chimpanzee flatulence.
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Today the Democrats chose their Vice Presidential candidate, and the Republicans have already come up with a lame nickname. Please let Trump decide all catchy insults from now on, thanks.
Spenny educates us all on the true facts about quicksand, and CJ tries to organize a game for listeners to play that backfires.
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The boys celebrate Oyster Day by discussing everyone's favorite booger from the sea.
CJ did a DJ set for a pool party but had to put up with an annoying, drunk person who kept requesting an inappropriate song. And Spenny gets upset at A.I. creeping into our lives.
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CJ and Spenny learn about the health benefits of everyone's favorite yellow condiment.
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CJ and Spenny discuss why social media is such crap nowadays.
Also, CJ gets excited about Jimmy Hoffa and other American mysteries while Spenny tells the brief tale of a lonely whale.
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CJ is struggling with his nicotine abstinence, so much so that he did something strange with everyone's favorite caffeine delivery device.
Spenny screws up the Sports Bet, and CJ's frustration reaches a boiling point due to nicotine withdrawals.
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CJ is back on the "no-nicotine" train after a weekend full of debauchery, and Spenny is upset with the new MCU casting choice of Robert Downey Jr. again.
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CJ discovers a secret app that ladies used to rate their dates back when he was considered a "f***boy." Turns out he has his very own profile and rating on there too. Find out how well he did on this episode.
Also, CJ retells the story of his interview screwup with AWOLNATION back during the pandemic, and Spenny officially enters the show's Sports Bet segment as a competitor. Who will win this upcoming season?
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CJ is deep into abstaining from nicotine, and today is day one. See how well the show goes as a result.
Spenny educates us on what oxen actually are, and CJ wants to reinvent all holidays across the board.
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CJ just found out he has to quit vaping. Find out why and what his plan is on this episode.
Also, Spenny goes on the hunt for "curtain" sound effects, and CJ learns learns about the origins of the 3 Musketeers candy bar.
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Should CJ and Spenny attempt to compete in their office's Fun Friday Olympics this week?
CJ is worried about his handyman status, and Spenny is excited to hear an update on College Football '25. Does CJ suck at it? Or is it a bad game?
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The boys discuss real life "cheat codes" that can help you in a variety of situations.
CJ is frustrated with a recent video game purchase, but Spenny thinks it's a user error. Is the game to blame or CJ's lack of skills? Idk man. Idk.
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The boys reminisce on the year's most viral memes.
CJ has a plan to get revenge on Matt Bearden for leaving the show and Spenny tells the tale of how one FedEx CEO saved the company with a huge gamble.
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Today the boys discuss their favorite, must-cry, sad songs. CJ wants to know where the best hot dogs are in Austin, and Spenny learns about a fancy snake that has a strange defense mechanism.
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CJ shares the story of how a viral video of his helped him sell two of his junker cars a few years ago. Spenny learns an important fact about Shaquille O'Neal.
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The boys celebrate Mac n' Cheese Day a day late, but it's never a bad time to celebrate this comfort food staple.
Spenny's birthday just so happened to be the day that former President Trump narrowly avoided an assassination attempt at a campaign rally, and CJ was at a fancy pool party with a bunch of friends. So the boys both reminisce on how strange their weekends became as the news of this historic event unfolded.
Also, CJ got a nice compliment from Jack Antonoff.
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Spenny is out for his BDAY so Katherine Hutchins joins the show and helps decide what remixes CJ should play at the fancy pool party he is DJing.
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CJ is upset about an upcoming music segment the 101X staff are gonna participate in, Spenny learns that a nightmare inspired James Cameron to make one of his famous films, and the boys finally learn what verdict Spenny and the others decided on in his recent stint as a juror.
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CJ hates tattoos on boobs and hands, Spenny discovers a fun fact about pussycats, and more courtroom antics become unraveled as CJ interviews Spenny about his jury duty experience.
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Our prodigal son has returned!
CJ somehow gets involved in an armed robbery at a local store. Spenny tells us how the first day of his jury summons went. And summer can kill you. Listen to find out how.
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Spit on that thang.
Spenny gets embarrassed when singing a song, Matt learns about how our faces can help us earn friends, and CJ surveys his coworkers to see if they'd subscribe to his OnlyFans.
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CJ has some ignorant thoughts about Italians.
Matt wants to visit a rare flower in London that smells like death, Spenny is fascinated by a study that reveals something interesting about women's memories, and CJ is excited to crash his lover's pool party this evening.
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Science says humans communicate less efficiently when the temperature is above 80 degrees (Fahrenheit).
CJ is worried the show might get cancelled over some choice words he used recently, Matt is considering getting an above-ground pool, and Spenny loves Mountain Dew Baja Blast.
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Today the gents discuss the most annoying habits of flying travelers.
CJ hates when people call their pets "fur babies", Matt says you spend less money when you use cash instead of plastic, and Spenny discovers the wonders of the world.
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Today's special guest is comedian Steph Tolev, who you might know from Bill Burr's recent special, as well as his film Old Dads. She shares the story of how she put a heckler in his place at one of her stand up shows.
Also, CJ worries that he discusses his tummy troubles too much with too many people, Matt can't believe that he's giving a specific recommendation for this weekend, and Spenny is delighted by a new term that CJ has invented for sperm.
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China has a different name for American restaurant Hooters, and it's a delight.
CJ is both sad and angry about sports events, Matt wants to believe aliens are already among us, and Spenny doesn't understand deez nuts jokes.
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CJ's road trip attempt this past weekend was interrupted by an unfortunate realization.
Matt brings in a list of species that scientists think will survive an apocalypse, CJ celebrates his favorite type of cookie, and Spenny learns about a movie that's 100 years in the making.
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CJ has a lot of complaints about his recent trip to a Texas beach.
Matt loves waving the flag of former President Polk, CJ puts people who don't tip at restaurants on blast, and Spenny wants to know how CJ cured his jellyfish stings.
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A giraffe was up to no good recently.
CJ discovers that K-Mart still exists in some parts of the world, Matt finds a game he might actually like to play in VR, and Spenny finds a way (I didn't know what to type here sorry).
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The gang learns about one of the earliest video game controversies, dating back to 1973.
CJ really wants to buy a kayak against his lover's wishes, Matt is excited for a new Apple feature that will put A.I. on its phones, and Spenny
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Today the gang learns the origin of white sand beaches.
CJ is upset with his friends' plans for a beach trip, Matt is convinced you can actually have fun in Waco, and Spenny learns the recipe for classic Worcestershire sauce.
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CJ and Spenny have prepared a new song for your listening displeasure.
Matt is off today, CJ teaches what he knows about eggs, and Spenny learns to take a compliment.
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Nestle CEO remarks that weight loss drugs like Ozempic are forcing them to rethink their frozen foods strategy.
CJ experiences a little road rage, Matt recommends a venue in Round Rock, and Spenny urges everyone to speak in complete sentences.
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CJ finds some goods while investigating a dumpster.
Matt says our ancestors' DNA could be to blame for our current mental illnesses, Spenny finally has something to blame his sadness on, and CJ cannot seem to stay focused on Matt's cool science updates.
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CJ attempts to paint Spenny in an unflattering manner.
Matt finds an app that helps you price check and discover discounts when thrift shopping, Spenny receives his first musical task of the year for the show, and CJ obsesses over a cowboy's jacket from a Western.
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CJ discovers a nice plot of land in California that's only $100K! There's a catch, though...
Matt recommends films to see at the Paramount Theatre Classic Film Series this summer, Spenny fantasizes about their Faygo availability, and CJ tries to throw a failed pool party.
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Possibly one of the dumbest fashion trends ever invented.
CJ looks forward to his fiancé-free weekend, Matt reminisces on school being out for the summer, and Spenny likes picking up lucky pennies.
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CJ has been arguing with people online again, except this time it's to dunk on anyone who disagrees with student debt relief.
Matt learns that Disney character Tinkerbell might be getting cancelled, Spenny goes on the hunt for pudding, and CJ pretends he loves oatmeal.
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CJ proposes a pool party while his lover is out of town for the weekend.
Matt has discovered the ideal travel times for Memorial Day weekend, Spenny learns that the listeners are far better at trivia than he realized, and CJ informs us that the Queen of England was one of the first people to use email.
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CJ spent the weekend doing yardwork and has never been happier. He even set up his above-ground pool again.
Matt discovers a method for making the best French fries ever, Spenny talks about one of his favorite childhood video games, and CJ is kinda sad that today is the last day of The CJ Morning Show.
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Today Matt destroys some of CJ's LEGO sets.
CJ has another strange dream about Billie Eilish, Matt is impressed by a recent crypto heist, and Spenny is bored by the size of the universe.
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The lads discuss classic movies on today's episode.
CJ has a plan to pay the Austin Chronicle back for misspelling his name on an awards nomination, Matt recommends becoming a psychic for big corporations, and Spenny learns a little about turkeys.
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CJ is having a very upsetting day after learning his name was misspelled on an award nomination. Matt Bearden says science is on the way to developing a cure for herpes. And Spenny says you should slap your kids (but not really like come on).
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Matt Bearden gets upset with the Austin Chronicle, CJ reminisces on childhood end-of-the-year school activities, and Spenny dreams of a digital world with more consumer rights.
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Is CJ getting old? Yes. Is Matt going to win an award for his other talk show? Yes. Is Spenny going to chuckle on this episode? Yes.
CJ visits an antique store. Matt uncovers the biggest bar tab in American history. And Spenny chuckles whenever something is funny, uncomfortable, interesting, suggestive, etc.
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Me mind on fire. Me soul on fire, feeling hot, hot, hot. Party people... All around me feeling hot, hot, hot. What to do on a night like this? Music sweet, I can't resist. We need a party song - A fundamental jam.
So we go rum-bum-bum-bum. Yeah, we rum-bum-bum-bum. Feeling hot, hot, hot. Feeling hot, hot, hot, oh, Lord
Haha!
See people rocking. Hear people chanting, feeling hot, hot, hot. Keep up this spirit. Come on let's do it, feeling hot, hot, hot!
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Can Matt fix CJ's broken home? This episode gets deep... deep like a butt not really much more than that BUT it is entertaining. Happy BDAY BTW Em!! We miss you.
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CJ could have been a big Kentucky Derby winner but he didn't get the chance. Find out why when Nick joins us for sports and a special beverage draft.
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Today the gang discusses their favorite paranormal experiences in honor of Paranormal Day.
Also, CJ shares the story of how he screwed up hosting a Kentucky Derby.
Matt discusses whether or not our pets have feelings.
And Spenny discovers a new career overseas.
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CJ may experiences his first "GET OFF MY LAWN" moment involving his AirBNB neighbors.
Matt tells the story of discovering a two story tall beehive in a family member's home.
And Spenny is a piggy.
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Get rid of your crap unless its bubble tea bobbas because those are indestructible.
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CJ took his pup Pickle to a doggy race this weekend, and today he explains the lengths he went to get her trained and ready to beat the competition.
Also, the Internet is excited about pre-peed jeans.
Matt wants to run an experiment on his kids.
And Spenny learns about ancient Chinese pipes.
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CJ has been excited to see who rents the AirBNB house directly next door to his place. Some bachelor and bachelorette parties have been by, which is exciting. But more importantly - this place has a pool AND a hot tub. Now the countdown begins to see how long CJ can wait before sneaking over and taking a dip.
Also, Matt teaches the gang about the difference between wolves and dogs.
CJ upsets a coworker with a fake urine prank.
And Spenny loves spaghetti.
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Today the gang learns about Father Justin, an AI priest that the Catholic church hired to give advice to its followers. Unfortunately, Justin was demoted after making a few mistakes at the workplace.
Also, CJ feels like he needs more discipline in his life.
Matt tells the story of the very first vape.
And Spenny wonders if Gatorade is bad for babies.
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CJ is concerned that he's not interested enough in trying out new things anymore. Matt and Spenny comfort him with suggestions.
Also, it's National Bucket List Day and the gang has their list of things they'd like to do before kicking said bucket.
And Matt has discovered some methods to help save money while grocery shopping.
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The gang discusses their ideal picnic for Picnic Day. Surprisingly, CJ doesn't include a bucket of parmesan cheese as a suggestion.
Matt teaches us about forming important memories.
CJ doesn't like that living in your van is trending again.
And Spenny.
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Today is Earth Day, so the gang discusses recycling and eating all your leftovers.
CJ stole a bucket of parmesan from a work function.
Matt passed out early on 4/20 this year.
And Spenny!
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How did humans get here? Today CJ and Matt explore this question on today's Weird or Wired.
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Matt introduces the gang to a Chuck Norris film from 1996 that's so bad that it's actually fun to watch. CJ does his best impressions of South Africans, Johnny Depp, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and Australians. And Spenny learns about life.
Also, much to his dismay, Matt learns that noise cancelling headphones are bad for your brain.
And CJ teaches us the origins of many of the names of our local towns.
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CJ explores healthy food options that can give us all energy. Matt learns about a new company that wants to implement its own brand of eugenics. Spenny learns a thing or two (maybe).
Also, CJ doesn't like crawfish. And Matt discusses co-parenting.
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CJ's day gets off to a bad start when he forgets something he needs for work at home. The gang celebrates the invention of LSD. Matt shares his new, bizarre hobby. And Spenny really enjoys the term 'crab grease,' so he chooses that to be the episode's title.
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CJ wonders why he had such had such a good weekend until realizing that it's because he mowed the lawn. Twice.
Matt tells the story of how he judged a talent show at his daughter's high school last week and how she handled the situation.
And Spenny learns where the phrase "mad hatter" comes from.
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CJ, Matt, and Spenny went to the AWM Gala last night for an awards ceremony. They looked handsome, but they also looked a bit red in the face when CJ got up onstage to present an award and screwed things up a bit.
Also, the gang learns about a holistic technique called "fart walking", which gives CJ the perfect opportunity to share his embarrassing stories about accidentally farting during dates.
And Matt introduces his "Unsolved Curiosities" segment for Weird or Wired where he introduces interesting things that science knows about but can't quite explain yet.
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We fight, we stage fright and then we fight some more. Today's show hopefully settles some debts on our long running bets.
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Today CJ distracts Matt with a surprise visit from comedian Doug Mellard. The two have performed stand-up comedy together for many years, and Mellard is performing at Cap City Comedy Club with a certain local comic. Also CJ gets angry with Austin dog owners and people who pop their popcorn on the stove. And Spenny gets his very own show. Maybe. Perhaps in some alternate universe somewhere.
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CJ had a rough time at the Renn Fair with his uncomfortable suit of armor. Matt has a bone to pick with TikTok parents and "fit" influencers. And the boys learn about a war that was fought over poop.
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Today's show is fueled by anger and exhaustion but ends in a healthy dose of sick friendship.
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DID YOU KNOW that shutting up is good for you? Learn more on today's episode.
CJ has planned a vacation, but he's scared he might get in fights at the beach. Spenny has produced music and sound effects for the fake film trailer that CJ made on the last episode. And Matt learns about radioactive pacemakers.
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Spenny urges CJ and Matt to fight after CJ had a dream where he got upset with Matt.
The gang shares their favorite guilty pleasure meals.
And Matt tells us about a sweet LASER clock and dark matter.
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Matt had a very foreboding dream about CJ and the radio awards season. Will the friendship and show survive?
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We follow up our discussion on how being boring can be pretty dang fun, how finding comfort in the mundane can be soothing, and how simplicity is oh so sweet.
Also, science has discovered that vaping can be worse for you for a number of new reasons.
And CJ has tricked a lot of the people in the office with another one of his pranks.
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Today we celebrate erections and the medicine that makes it possible for those who struggle to maintain them.
Also, is being boring fun? Matt thinks so, and Spenny is starting to agree.
And CJ creates his first aluminum object after smelting in his backyard for only a day. How did it turn out? Listen and find out. Come on. Duh.
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CJ tells Matt and Spenny about a technique useful for road trips, Matt discovers an entire realm of funk and psychedelic music from The Middle East, and Spenny does his best. God bless his him.
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CJ vents about some things that have been upsetting him recently. Spenny thinks The Captain has veered into the Larry David era of his life, much to Matt's entertainment. Listen to CJ's rants on today's episode.
And are we really gonna have a freaking eclipse or not? Matt isn't excited for this monumental event that's quickly approaching. But why, exactly?
Also, happy birthday EJ! We love you!
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The Midwest may not have queso, but they do have their own versions of tasty dips that we explore on Today is the Greatest for National Chip and Dip Day.
Also, a surprisingly large segment of the population believes they could successfully beat a bear in a fight. Find out which side we belong to on today's show.
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CJ is frustrated that Matt didn't pay him and join his March Madness bracket, we watch a dude embarrass himself on a police bodycam, and discuss the 7 dog breeds that are bad to raise your kids around.
AND MORE
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CJ wants to start a forge in his backyard to begin smelting his recycled aluminum. Matt wants to talk about zines, but CJ and Spenny don't know what he's saying. And Spenny learns that tossing a salad can be a fun way to spend your new year celebrations.
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Streaming services are getting more expensive, and they don't plan to get any cheaper anytime at all, really. The boys lament this unfortunate return to the old ways of nickel-and-diming customers for their entertainment. Welcome back, cable! Nobody missed you. Please don't stick around.
Also, we slam Hutto a little bit, but it's in good fun. We learn about superhero The Thing's wiener. AND CJ declares SXSW 2024 the best experience he's had in a long time.
ALL THAT AND MORE
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We learn more about when the President first used mass communication to speak directly to the public, and, would you believe it, it happened many, many decades ago. Learn with us on Today is the Greatest!
CJ hurt himself running down some stairs and also needs a hip replacement, which is wild for somebody as young as him. Matt learns about a simple way you can entertain your kiddos at home. And Spenny learns about the creator of Tang and Pop Rocks.
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We discuss the 2024 edition of The Oscars but not who won. Instead we talk about what made us laugh during this past-its-prime award show for the elite.
Teens are getting arrested for using A.I., CJ tells us how he screwed up a night of debauchery during a previous SXSW, and Matt warns us about our doorbell surveillance systems.
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CJ gets frustrated with Spenny interrupting a professional phone call, Matt gets frustrated with CJ during their Renaissance Fest outing, and Spenny gets frustrated that CJ doesn't know how to properly dispose of grease.
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We say goodbye to an Austin production company, hear about a new conspiracy theory involving the moon, and even learn about a monkey that got thrown in jail.
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Facebook and Instagram goes down for millions of users, CJ unveils his NASCAR v ASSCAR game for our current giveaway, and Matt tells the story of how he learned a certain culture thought cheese doodles (like Cheetos) tasted exactly like a rare delicacy they sought after.
Also, there's a certain gene that humans are missing from their DNA that prevents them from growing a tail.
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CJ tells a terrible joke at the expense of a long dead, historical icon.
Also, we learn about sweat technology. Yes. Sweat. The stuff that you secrete when you're getting all hot and busy.
A customer gets upset at a Jimmy John's restaurant.
And we learn a lot about tigers.
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We learn about psychopaths this episode and how women were once believed to exhibit less psychopathy than men. Turns out that isn't true. Not even in the slightest. Cue the "ha ha i knew she was crazy" comments.
Oh, and CJ saw Dune Part 2.
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Is tattoo ink really that good for your body? CJ and Matt learn that science has discovered much more about the biproducts of tattoo ink, and now governments are rushing to regulate the stuff.
Spenny is still sick.
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On this episode we ask if Austin is over food influencers then talk with a real food G, Jess Pryles.
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CJ discovered a new diet that gets him out of bed earlier in the day. Spenny is still sick and Matt learned how to exercise.
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CJ has moved on to a new project and apparently camping with Matt's wife.
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Austin FC is back in action and but we care more about the food than the match on the field.
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We got something in the mail promoting a new movie and can't wait to "play" with it. Then comedian Colton Dowling joins us for a lesson in radio voice interviews.
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Sill ol Matt needs a boost so its time we organize a campaign to Make Matt Great Again, YAY! or #MMGAY.
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What's with doubling down on a wet appetizer and wet dinner? Too much goop!
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On today's episode, CJ gets concerned over a parody video he did about a fake law firm. Will he get sued? Let's hope so. That would make excellent content for the show.
And Matt finds out some weird news for parents. Turns out, having kids is a bad thing. But why!? Find out on today's Parent Pickup.
And Spenny!!!!!!
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Happy Valentine's Day! We learn about the history of this commercial holiday and celebrate our love for entertaining ya on today's episode.
- CJ thinks he won Valentine's Day
- Matt encourages us to be creative for creativity's sake
- and Spenny!
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Valentine's Day and Lent are quickly approaching. Hurry! Summon the CJMobile! We have facts and rants to make!
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We talk Super Bowl LVIII highlights, which barely includes the actual athletic feats of the players.
CJ loves organizing Super Bowl bets in the building, but he's having a hard time convincing himself to pay everyone for their wins. Matt has found the perfect viewing experience for stoners and science fans. And Spenny. He's there too!!!
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CJ proposes turning the show into a React Channel style show, where the gang only reacts to more famous quotes from people like Jordan Peterson or Joe Rogan. Matt discovers a 4Chan movement that seeks to use A.I. for adding more clothes to women's pictures. Nick from ESPN 102.7 stops by to help the gang with their Super Bowl edition bets! And Spenny is still here too!
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CJ plans to rebrand the show with a famous tea brand as sponsor, and he's even willing to change his name for the bit.
Matt learns that there are a lot of myths surrounding lice. You know, those tricky lil' bugs that crawl through your hair and get you kicked school. Turns out there's more to lice than just the rumors.
And Spenny. Yeah. Spenny!
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Today's special guest is Madeline Hollern from Austin Monthly! She joins the show to discuss the magazine's Most Eligible Singles of 2024 and their associated event.
CJ also gets her to rip an electrode off his chest for our Sports Bet punishment. You know, an electrode? Those sticky-ass things they strap to your chest during hospital sh*t? They're insanely adhesive. And our boy CJ is insanely hairy.
And Super Bowl party snacks! Matt and CJ discuss (and daydream) about their favorite party foods.
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CJ wants to help organize a political campaign. Matt tells us more about Bluesky, a potential competitor for Twitter/X, and Spenny learns about ex-vegetarians.
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We discuss the Grammys because we are a music show. We also talk about some lottery winners that actually deserve the winnings, but there's an unfortunate twist. And how much electricity does "mining" cryptocurrency use? Matt's findings may surprise you.
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- CJ's temper has been out of control recently
- Matt discovers a revolutionary new way to make leftovers interesting
- Spenny believes Groundhog Day should have more than one groundhog
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CJ threw a big ol temper tantrum last night and has been kinda pissy all week. We discuss and heal on this week's Extra Pieces extra content show podcast.
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CJ talks getting high at the dentist, the gang discusses music history, and Spenny learns about rental babies.
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CJ is tired of taking vacations, Matt squeezes some balls, and Spenny gets confused when throwing dice.
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We discuss childhood pranks and vandalism, celebrate the most forgettable president ever, and learn about trippy chameleons.
All that and more.
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CJ keeps tricking a new coworker into thinking he's Australian, facial recognition technology got the wrong man arrested, and young people might be saving Internet comedy.
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We got a chance to interview actor and comedian Craig Robinson on today's episode! He's got seven, count 'em, SEVEN stand up shows this weekend in ATX. He talks about his career, childhood, lifestyle, and upcoming projects. Also, CJ shares his favorite memory of one of Craig's films, and it involves him getting in trouble watching a particularly sexy scene.
All that and more on today's episode.
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Lots of reminiscing today. We discuss our favorite childhood flea market purchases (weapons, all of them). We think back on our favorite bars and venues from the days of Austin past. We even discuss ancient Egypt. Man, what were those guys up to? Lots of fun, it seems. Learn more on today's episode.
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CJ might be done with Vegas, Matt has been following a TikTok trend, and Spenny made some new music for the show.
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CJ has been dealing with a recent milkshake addiction, and he's happy to discuss some of the new flavors of ice cream he's been blending into shakes.
Getting old sucks, but is it true that you shrink as you get older? According to science, yes. But Matt is here with more science that says you can help prevent most of it! That's on today's Weird or Wired.
And today is Hi, How Are You Day! We discuss its importance and remind ya to check in on your friends and loved ones to ensure they're doing okay mentally.
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This week we sat down as a show to discuss the what happened to our radio show and get a little bit inside the business.
Extra Pieces is an uncensored podcast version of the CJ Morgan Show made up from all the extra pieces we didn't get to discuss on the radio.
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Today our guest includes Clint from Riddlin' Kids, an Austin pop-punk staple from the late 90s and early 2000s. He's helped produce a documentary with some fellas about the infamous but iconic music venue The Backroom. Looks pretty rad.
Also, sleep is important. Especially in your 30s. It can determine your cognitive health when you're elderly, meaning you could help prevent dementia or other declines in cognizance. Matt tells us more on today's Parent Pickup.
And CJ has a rant about Blues On The Green 2024 being called off. He's less angry about the cancellation than he is about ignorant people commenting online about the beloved Austin concert series.
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We say goodbye to Blues On The Green 2024, as it will not be happening this year. CJ shares his favorite things about the iconic shows at Zilker Park.
Also, caffeine is bad for you. Matt has the facts and how to cope with it.
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We love you, Em.
-The CJ Morgan Show
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Comedian and showrunner Joey Z stops by to hang out for a bit. His live production GLOW SHOW is still running strong here in town, and CJ puts him to task discussing comedy, psychedelic drugs, and the history of this trippy show.
Emily is attending a wedding this weekend alongside her boyfriend, but she's worried about leaving him alone with her parents since he can't attend particular events like the dinner rehearsal. Luckily CJ prepares some flash cards for Em to give her boy-toy so he can prepare for potentially awkward conversation.
And Matt learns that scientists believe a global catastrophe is imminent within the next decade or so. Some believe it'll happen within the next TWO years. What exactly does this mean? The gang discusses on today's Weird or Wired.
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Don't forget to make those boundaries. Matt Bearden reports on a new way to utilize your personal borders on today's Parent Pickup.
Also, CJ has prepared another ridiculous edition of the game Sound Off!, and Emily discovers a fascinating difference between hot and cold water.
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What is a "Kiss List", and why does Emily have one? The crew discusses.
Also, why is pee-pee yellow? And what should you be storing in your car's glove compartment? ALL THAT AND MORE
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I'm not explaining the episode titles anymore. It is now your responsibility to assemble the clues left in each episode to discover why I, Spenny, as producer, writer, and editor, have decided to entitle each episode. Good luck!
On today's episode, CJ believes having a stuffy nose is one of the worst, debilitating conditions to have. Emily gets to shoot one of CJ's makeshift weapons from his childhood. And Matt reports that teleportation technology has made a breakthrough. Seriously. It's wild stuff.
All that and more on today's ep
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CJ really wants to quit vaping in the new year, and he's taken it upon himself to learn a "vaping" trick before he says goodbye to the habit. That trick? He wants to blow vape cloud through the neck of his tucked-in shirt and have it blow through his open pants zipper. The crotch zone. In today's episode, CJ attempts his second effort at this trick since he failed last week. How does it go? This episode will let you know.
Also, Emily watched the Golden Globes and keeps us up to date on pop culture, as well as the reportedly awful hosting that comedian Jo Koy pulled off.
And Matt is curious about "mindfulness." Can it change you? Your brain? How you behave? According to one experiment, science says yes! Listen to today's Weird or Wired for details.
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Today we discuss the 13-year old boy who set the world record for being the first human to beat the game Tetris. That's right. You can "beat" it, apparently. Listen to today's Parent Pickup to understand what we mean by those apostrophes and how this young man accomplished this historic gaming feat.
Also, Emily made Vision Boards for CJ and Spenny (and herself!) for the year 2024, so the gang shares their most important goals for the new year. Check out the hard work Em put into these visuals on our social media @CJMorganShow.
And CJ reviews his archive of memes and pop culture events that shaped our year through 2023.
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CJ attempts a pelvic procedure requiring his vape pen, but I won't spoil the surprise for you.
Emily has a theory on why the $34 million lotto ticket winner from Austin has yet to pick up their winning ticket this week, Matt has a daring proposal for kids born during the winter holiday season, and CJ relives his trivia-hosting days with a fun game.
All that and more on today's episode!
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Can you tell we missed being here? The title of this episode alone should give you fair warning about the content of today's show.
Okay, not really, it's just a fun pairing of words that we learn about on today's Did You Know segment. Come learn and laugh with us!
CJ, Matt, Emily, and Spenny are back in action (for now) in 2024!
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Who took two dates to the company Christmas party? You can probably guess. Plus Spencer gets a special gift, CJ acts like a baby, Emily is not allowed to talk and Matt broke his shoulder. That is just a small chunk of this special CJ Morgan Show performed LIVE before a studio audience.
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Alright, we're done for the year (unless you're coming to our live podcast). Enjoy the episode. Merry Christmas and happy holidays!
Oh yeah, and have a nice new year. We'll be waiting for you on the other side.
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CJ has been having some troubles with the tinkle. Well, it may not be exactly what you're thinking. So listen to today's episode for the full story.
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CJ is back from Mexico! Did he end up in jail? A hospital? Or both? Find out as CJ retells a harrowing tale from his trip to visit our southern neighbors.
And don't forget to set boundaries this holiday season. You deserve it. Matt brings this topic up during today's Parent Pickup. The holiday season can be stressful enough, but you shouldn't have to betray your own personal boundaries to have fun or to give joy to others. Learn more on today's episode.
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Everyone's favorite tuber may just help young children eat more of their daily suggested intake of healthy veggies. How can the potato save our youth? Find out more on today's Parent Pickup.
Lots of sound effects on today's show. So get ready for that.
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Emily informs us that Subway is introducing a new "foot-long" cookie to their menu. Kraft is making a plant-based macaroni and cheese. And a Burger King advent calendar? That's kinda happening too. We got the food news for ya on today's CJ is Fat.
Did humans survive an extinction event in the distant past? Science seems to believe so. Learn more on today's Weird or Wired.
And how do you disarm a narcissist? With words, preferably. Well, we got suggestions! Listen to part 2 of our list on phrases to use to diffuse a narcissist on today's Clickbait Corner.
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We love Spotify. You might even be using Spotify to listen to this very episode! There's just a lot of "bodily sounds" humor on today's episode, so I figured I'd do play on words.
Anyway, we discuss our Spotify Wrapped for the 2023 year, and everyone is slightly embarrassed by their listening habits.
Also, we play another edition of Sound Off! You might have guessed by now that this is where the fartsy humor might come into play. Consider yourself warned.
And! Cheesecake filling is now in spoonable form. CJ and Spenny are ecstatic about it. Emily is confused. Learn more on today's CJ is Fat.
Okay, bye.
-Spenny
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Science has determined that people fluent in a second language, or bilingual, have an easier time ignoring unimportant information. Learn more on today's Parent Pickup segment.
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Would you participate in an orgy at a Taco Bell? One lady unwittingly found herself at a company party that turned sexy real quick. She wasn't exactly a fan. Learn more on today's episode on our Social Cues segment.
And how did you fare this Thanksgiving? Matt made a big mistake this year, and he shares his story with us on CJ is Fat.
Also, CJ is moving, and he wants to know if he's in the wrong about his particular moving style. His fiancé? She's much less impressed than he is about it.
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We learn a lot on today's Did You Know, including why farting in the shower smells worse than anywhere else in the world. It's science!
Also, have you spent Thanksgiving alone? We reminisce on our loneliest holidays and even find the silver lining in some of those darker days.
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Somebody out there makes scented water that you can splash on your baby so they don't smell so nasty. Sound weird? Or maybe a little disconnected from reality? Well, that's because it's been designed by rich people for rich people. Learn more on today's Parent Pickup.
And Snoop Dogg really tricked us all. We get to the bottom of his recently declared "smoke-free" antics on today's Social Cues.
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CJ gets a little karma following his road rage justice story on yesterday's episode.
Also, he wants to plan the radio workplace's Fun Friday which would include (and I quote) "a squirt gun deathmatch."
And Emily is enamored by the idea of asking for Christmas gifts with a PowerPoint presentation.
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Earlier today CJ got into a road rage altercation, but instead of coping through therapy he has decided to share his story on today's episode.
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Matt tells a tale of some crypto-bros and NFT backers that went to a special event they were invited to as a part of their exclusive lifestyle, but they left said event with sunburned eyes. Wait, what? Yes. The NFT fad keeps getting more ridiculous. Learn more on today's episode.
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Did You Know there was a criminal known as The Phantom Barber? This thief would break into peoples' homes and steal locks of their hair, and many people that this person was never caught. Learn more on today's fact-finding segment.
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Comedian Brandi Davis stops by the show today to talk about her shows and favorite Austin comedy club, The Velveeta Room. CJ also forces her to play his trivia game called Davis or Dave-Miss in order to discuss her upcoming shows. How will she fare? FIND OUT BY LISTENING.
Also, Grammy nominations are here, Seinfeld for kids exists, and Cruise automated taxi cabs create another unfortunate traffic incident.
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Comedian and friend of the show Avery Moore stops by the studio today to hang out for a bit. She's releasing her debut comedy album this week, and you can find it anywhere you buy music stuff or on BandCamp.com.
We talk odd jobs, stand up comedy, and Avery's recent beef with CJ.
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CJ is in the process of moving, but he's got some particular complaints to air out about some of his fiancé's belongings. Hear the hot goss on today's return of Group Therapy.
Emily saw The Price Is Right live last night, but unfortunately it wasn't the full-blown real show. Regardless, she was inspired to create a game for CJ and Spenny to play. Check out today's first edition of The Price is Prime during our regularly scheduled Social Cues.
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CJ introduces the gang to a new game he created where Matt, Emily, and Spenny must guess what sound CJ is playing from his phone. It sounds simple enough, right? Well, you should know by now that nothing is ever simple with CJ. Listen to the first edition of Sound Off! on today's episode.
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Matt details his adventure at Wurst Fest this past weekend, and CJ is envious because he's always wanted to attend.
Also, Emily survived her weekend trek to Big Bend.
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Does your hair hurt? No? Well, you might be like most people who don't experience this strange phenomenon. Our buddy Matt Bearden does suffer from this strange condition, and he discusses on today's Weird or Wired.
PRODUCER NOTE:Short episode today, folks. We did a hybrid live/rerun show, so I'm only including the newest bits we did on this episode. Okay, bye.
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The Supreme Court is discussing whether or not it should be legal for a politician to block somebody, especially an American citizen. Find out more info on today's Weird or Wired.
Also, daylight savings sucks, and it's coming for us. Be prepared!
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CJ introduces his new game Novingo, where Matt, Emily, and Spenny must guess which days of the month are, well, which days of the month they are. November is a month full of holidays, not just Thanksgiving. So listen to us celebrate November with this game that CJ put together at the last minute.
Also, we discuss things to look forward to this month. And sports stuff. And idk just listen man
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CJ was unhappy with his Halloween costume this year, so he's decided to give up on Halloween. Emily and Spenny find this unacceptable, so they attempt to revive his holiday spirit.
Also, we dicuss flesh-eating Venus Fly Traps. And spooky stuff. It's Halloween.
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CJ and some old college/frat buddies tried to live it up like they were young again this past weekend. Turns out it's a lot harder to act 21 when you're old as f***.
We also talk candy, A.I. law, and movies you'd love to watch again for the first time.
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Comedian Dulce Mac is today's guest!
Do you like to dress scary or sexy for Halloween? Emily says she's chosen a costume that feels a little odd since it's a bit cutesy for her taste. How do you roll on Halloween?
We also share spooky stories, and listeners call in to share theirs.
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There is a petition online to change the day of Halloween. CJ, Emily, and Spenny all agree that holidays should be longer, but at what cost? Ignoring tradition!? That's crazy!
Matt tells a spooky story about a house he lived in many years ago. CJ gets Spenny a gift. And Emily encounters some trivia cheaters at a local bar.
ALL THAT AND SO MUCH MORE LISTEN TO THE EPISODE ALREADY hi evan
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Comedian, actor and voice talent Craig Gass stops by the studio today to discuss his upcoming show where he will roast the band KISS for the entire show. He's met the band, and he's even toured with them before and other huge rock acts like Metallica (and more). Dude's got a ton of stories, some of which he shares on today's show.
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Well, we got burglarized last night. Listen to the show to find out more.
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Today we talk about prolapsed anuses. Also, what you can do to help your prolapsed anus at home. That's right. DIY-style. Learn more on today's Weird or Wired.
Emily's attending a bachelorette party this weekend, so she took the time to set up a list of rules for her ideal bachelorette party on today's Emily Explains It All.
And CJ is considering an Eclipse Party, where everyone gets together to celebrate a solar or lunar eclipse. The next eclipse is in 208 days, as of this episode's release date. Plenty of time to prepare!
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It's 9-11 today. Did you forget anything?
Today we talk about fun stuff, though, like an unexpected side effect of COVID that Emily experienced was online shopping.
And Did You Know that salmon caught in Seattle has drugs in its system?
And The Grammy's have made a decision regarding AI-created art.
ALL THAT AND MORE ON TODAY'S EPISODE
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Holy crap... I (CJ) was SO close to getting dumped and did not even realize it at the time. We will address that in a group therapy from the past, Matt and CJ are alone in studio because everyone else is sick and comedian Brandi Davis comes by (and will hopefully not end up sick).
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Em is out sick today, but we thought ahead and recorded some stuff with her. Unfortunately we didn't record everything with her because, what the hell, that's a lot of work. We're not doing that.\
Anyway, what is Dad Rock? CJ and Spenny get into a heated debate about what exactly qualifies as papa music.
Have you put soda in wine before? Matt recommends!
And we might get a "cold" front next week.
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Today we discuss the flooding and overall clusterfrick that occurred at the Burning Man Festival this past weekend.
Also, kids are expensive as hell and we may have found a way to combat how much our airplanes contribute to climate change.
And what is CJ's most infamous Tweet? We discuss after lamenting the loss of musicians Jimmy Buffet, Gary Wright, and Steve Harwell.
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Today CJ unveils his version of Family Feud and forces Matt, Emily, and Spenny play his selfish game. No, seriously. Selfish. It's all about him. Literally. The gang must make guesses about specific CJ topics in order to score points. Who will come out on top? Who knows the most about CJ? Find out!
Would you want to live to be 1000 years old? On today's Weird or Wired Matt discusses research into why we grow old and die. Don't worry, the gang tries to keep things lighthearted. Or not. Maybe not the most wholesome segment, but it's informative and entertaining.
And Emily's apartment is removing her washer and dryer. They're not replacing 'em either. What the hell is up with that? Hear more on today's episode.
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We've been trying to come up with a name for Emily's new car on today's episode. What do you think it should be? WE DISCUSS!
Also, we begin a new season of the Sports Bet, which now includes Emily and Spenny! Yikes! Who will win it all in our sports betting competition? And who will lose and have to try their luck on the Punishment Plinko board?
And we learn about a new style of avocado that's being grown. You've heard of the hass avocado - now get introduced to the luna avocado! What are the details on this new avocado plant and why are we even bothering improving upon perfection? Matt's got the details on today's Weird or Wired.
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Emily has a big life surprise to share with the gang on today's Emily Explains It All.
Also, the show has a very "moon-themed" episode today on account of a Blue Super Moon being visible sometime this week. A super moon happens every once in a while, but a blue moon is a bit more rare. A Blue Super Moon, though? It only happens once every 10-20 years. So we talk about it and where you can view the moon in Texas.
And Netflix is moving forward with their video games division. Although details are still scant about what specifically this means, Matt has a report on the specifics we know so far on today's Weird or Wired.
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Today we discuss how Adele stood up for a fan of hers in the middle of her show, as he was being (more or less) accosted by security. It was heartwarming. Oh, also, CJ has met Adele. She even sat in his chair! What!!?!?!? Learn more on today's episode.
We learn that chores are good for kids. We learn that sports are coming back in a big way. We learn that Emily can be a tomboy sometimes. All that on today's episode AND MORE.
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Today we explore how to make friends on Parent Pickup. Our friend Matt brings a fun list of recommendations from somebody who clearly hasn't made friends in a long, long time.
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Today Emily introduces us all to the TikTok trend called "girl math." It's basically lighthearted, silly ways to rationalize small or otherwise ridiculous purchases. And we got examples. But it's not just for girls, despite what you might think! Emily explores this idea on today's Social Cues.
Matt discusses feeling shameful while being on your phone too much when parenting the kiddos. And CJ may or may not have exposed his dong to a couple coworkers. It wasn't intentional, but, come on, man. Wear some freakin' underwear!
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Matt passed out from a coughing fit recently, but when he woke up he didn't understand the world anymore. Does that sound crazy? Well, he told us the full story of what happened, and now we're worried he might have died. At least for a little bit. Hear the story on today's episode!
AND MORE, OF COURSE, THERE'S ALWAYS MORE, AND YOU KNOW THIS BY KNOW SO STOP READING THIS FAR COME ON I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SNEAK LITTLE SILLY THINGS IN FOR THE REAL FANS THAT READ THIS DEEP INTO A PODCAST EPISODE'S DESCRIPTION (i love you)
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Today Emily explores sex in video games, as well as the harmful (and not so harmful) results. Learn more on today's Emily Explains It All.
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Something called 'cash amnesia' is a thing that's trending with people nowadays. Learn more about it on today's Weird or Wired.
Emily joins the show fully after leaving her morning show duties behind. Now she doesn't have to work a split shift, and she can be here for all of our segments!
And Matt is back from being sick! For now, that is. His daughter just caught COVID. Can he survive the rest of the year with two kids in school?
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CJ is planning to do a DNA test for his newest puppy, Pepperoni, so he challenges Emily and Spenny to guess which dog breeds Pepp has in her ancestry. Whoever wins gets, I don't know, something nice I guess? He didn't really say. But that's okay. Play along in today's episode.
Emily has been using only one password for all of her accounts since she's been young a child, but recently somebody got access to one of her passwords, compromising every single one of her logins. Now she must deal with the aftermath, but she uses this as an opportunity to discuss cyber security, as well as reminisce on the old days of the Internet.
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The gang discovers that Buc-ee's is looking to hire a snack taster, and Emily volunteers. She lists a number of their recent snacks she recommends trying, and CJ even writes a theme song for the Texan convenience store.
Also:
- Stevie Nicks discusses Daisy Jones and the Six
- Today is National Joke Day - hear Spenny screw up a Mitch Hedberg joke
- Coraline returns to theaters! - fun facts about the film and its studio
- Emily is attending an anime swimsuit convention
- a new alternative to alcohol is being created
- 8 Unpopular Opinions, and whether the gang agrees or disagrees
- we love you
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Today is National Relaxation Day! How do yourelax? CJ and Spenny discuss this so-called holiday on Today is the Greatest, as well as how they relax on this glorious, important, meaningful day.
It's back to school for most kiddos in the community, so Emily has some tips and tricks on today's Emily Explains It All. She takes us on a journey through middle schoolers' TikTok accounts as they attempt to give tips to one another, as well as her own experiences seeking out tips in the early days of YouTube.
And Matt is still sick. Just a pretty rad dude. Dope as hell. He'll return someday when he's done being so ill. Hell yeah. Just frickin' gnarly, brah.
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Today on Did You Know we learn that a massive riot was started over a simple bit of flatulence. We learn a lot more too, so check it out.
Emily had to babysit some inexperienced friends on their first river float ever. Did she save somebody's life? She thinks so.
And is coming in to work sick okay? CJ rants about why it isn't on today's show.
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The best part about this podcast is that you can download it and save it as your very own time capsule when you rediscover it again in a decade! Somehow! Maybe! Anyway, we talk about time capsules today.
We also discuss dating in the modern era. What's the ideal date length? Should you end the date if you're not feeling a connection within the first 15 minutes? Is it worth it to ignore red flags just for sex? FIND OUT MORE ON TODAY's CLICKBAIT CORNER!
And it's still hot af outside.
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We say goodbye to Johnny Hardwick, comedian and actor who played the iconic character Dale Gribble on the animated sitcom King of The Hill. Johnny was the basis for Dale's character, and he brought him to life with his very own voice. A local comedian here in Austin, and a friend to many - CJ, Emily, and Spenny reminisce and lament the passing of a local legend on today's show.
Also, Emily got hit on in front of her boyfriend and tells us the tale. It was awkward. Hear the story on today's Leftovers.
Matt's off, so CJ prepares a segment about a woman who mistreated her dog. Learn why and how on today's Puppy Parent Report.
And Spenny saw Barbie. He gives his review on today's Nerd Report.
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Emily played mini-golf recently, and she's got some opinions on the "unspoken rules" of the game. Listen to Emily's 5 Unspoken Rules on today's Emily Explains It All.
Dogs are good for your health! CJ reports on today's Puppy Parent Report since Matt is out sick.
And would you survive a zombie apocalypse? Emily thinks she'd be fine. But CJ? And what about Spenny? FIND OUT BY LISTENING YOU GET THE IDEA BY NOW COME ON
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EDITOR NOTE: We had a hectic day and are a little scatterbrained, but we wanted to help our coworker and friend of the show, Evan, say goodbye to his sweet best friend - his doggy Leo. (We know he likes to read the podcast descriptions) We're jerks and we forgot to mention it on the show on account of COVID brain and ADHD, but, Evan, we want you to know we love you and are keeping you in our thoughts. The entire show appreciates everything you do for us at work and all the support you give us. We couldn't put on a live event successfully without your help. We couldn't run the same show without your feedback during our meetings. You're a hard worker and just an overall thoughtful and kind man. So we all know Leo got to live his best life in your capable, caring hands. Sending you lots of love. And tons of gratitude. Rest in peace, Leo.
Back to the episode!
Is it a good idea to continue inviting a flakey friend to events? Emily poses this important question on today's episode - CJ and Spenny share their thoughts.
It hurts to get ghosted, but NASA recently said goodbye to one of the Voyager satellites that has been hauling butt through space since the 1970s. Matt reports on today's Weird or Wired that scientists stopped receiving broadcasts from the satellite, but recently something weird happened. You'll have to listen to find out. Or Google it if you're boring as hell. Are you boring as hell? It's okay if you are. We're not judging. Just saying, ya know.
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WARNING NSFW (We cuss in the intro)
Today we explore 90s techno jams after a viral vid on TikTok featuring a parody of the genre made the rounds this week. CJ and Emily geek out on today's episode.
Matt Bearden reports on more screw ups that the ex-Twitter company X has been giving us.
And Emily got a little sass from a waiter at a pizza restaurant due to the topping she chose for a pie.
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CJ shares a story of his past working radio, and this particular story involves a shady strip club owner and his Russian gangster friends. Yes. You read that correctly. Listen in for the full story.
Emily is concerned about her future, but it's not for the reasons you might normally think. Her cat Lucy is an elder cat, and it's got Em thinking about all the different ways she'll have to compromise to accommodate the aging feline. Can she still live her best life while taking care of her old pussy? We discuss on today's Leftovers.
And Artificial Intelligence has passed the Turing test. In other words, AI tools to detect AI can no longer detect AI. If that sounds confusing, Matt explains it much better on today's Weird or Wired.
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While we're busy putting together an hour of entertainment for you, scientists are busy resurrecting ancient worms frozen in ice. That's right, science has brought back to life a worm from over 40,000 years ago. Learn more about what the hell they're thinking and how they revitalized this ancient wiggler on today's Weird or Wired.
Also, Emily teaches us all how to properly catcall on today's Emily Explains It All.
And CJ laments Austin FC's trading of an important player to Los Angeles.
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Today we say goodbye to actor Paul Reubens. He's famous for masturbating in a theater but also for playing the iconic character Pee Wee Herman. CJ, Emily, and Spenny all reminisce on their upbringings with the strange children's show host.
Emily is now worried she shouldn't have introduced her boyfriend to her favorite hobby - cosplaying. Is he ruining it for her? Making it his own? Find out on today's Leftovers.
And an illegal bio tech lab was uncovered in California. The future is here, baby! Learn more on today's Weird or Wired.
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CJ and Matt reminisce about an old public access TV show that aired in Austin during their younger days. Emily and Spenny must listen and respect their elders' storytelling. It was basically a hook-up show, and it actually sounded fun. CJ has some audio from the show to share. See if you know what they're talking about on today's episode.
DID YOU KNOW that CJ pissed off Aerosmith's Steven Tyler once? We explore what happened and why CJ caught it on camera as well on Today is the Greatest!
And how does a pizza-scented video game controller sound to you? Dumb? Fun? Both? The new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie's marketing strategy involves exactly that - controllers that squirt out pizza odor. Learn more on today's Weird or Wired.
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CJ went "viral" recently, or a picture that he altered did, at least. He photoshopped a picture of Ben Shapiro with Barbie doll legs (Ken legs to be precise), and that images was shared thousands of times online. The only tragic thing is - CJ didn't add a watermark or anything else to help identify that the image was his creation. Emily, Matt, and Spenny all discuss this weird issue CJ has with adding his signature to his art.
Aliens or something. There's a whistleblower hearing going on today, and we talk about UFOs on today's Weird or Wired as a result. Well, specifically, we talk about the hearings.
Also, Emily has been out of AC all week long thanks to her apartment complex. Listen to her struggle on today's Leftovers. And stay frosty, baby.
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There's a new Korean corn dog location opening in Round Rock. What is a Korean Corn Dog? Don't worry we'll inform you of that. They sound delicious too. Learn more on today's CJ is Fat.
Emily gives us her review of the Barbie movie. Did she like it? Did she love it? Will she see it again in theaters? The answer to some of those questions can be found on today's Nerd Report.
And will face scanning be involved in the future of how you check out from stores? Matt Bearden reports that yes, yes, yes. It will very much be involved. And Amazon is behind a lot of the push to a cashless society via instant checkout using your facial information. Sound like a lot of info to digest? Don't worry, we keep it simple on today's Weird or Wired.
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Emily saw Barbie and Oppenheimer recently, and we're here to give you her review! Today we only had enough time for a review of the Christopher Nolan-helmed biopic about the physicist who created the nuclear bomb. Tomorrow we feast on the toy clad in pink. All on Nerd Report.
Other things:
- Elon Musk renames Twitter to X
- CJ goes on another history tangent
- Matt has been having dreams about his ex-girlfriends
- Emily celebrates National Tequila Day
- more, more, more
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We made it, folks. Today the films Barbie and Oppenheimer release simultaneously for our viewing enjoyment. We celebrate on the show with a few segments surrounding these marketing wonders.
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Emily reports that the phrase 'Taco Tuesday' is now available for anyone to use. It was once a slogan that could only legally be used to promote a Tuesday full of tacos at the midwestern fast food restaurant Taco John's. Now it's free for all of us. God bless America! Learn more on Social Cues.
Is CJ vaping too much? He and Spenny discuss their past, present, and future nicotine habits.
And why are electric bike batteries exploding so frequently? Matt Bearden explores on today's Weird or Wired.
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Today is National Hot Dog Day, as well as one of the hottest days in record in the ENTIRE FREAKING WORLD. And other hot stuff. We talk about wieners and weather today. What more could you want!?
We also talk about Classic Game Fest coming this weekend. It's rad.
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On today's School's Out For Summer Matt reports that there is a gym for training ninjas in the Austin area. Holy crap. I want in. Learn more on today's episode.
Is Emily scaring her boyfriend? She's been talking about weddings and kids recently, but she's not exactly planning anything. CJ and Spenny give her a little reassurance.
And can we regrow teeth? Science demands it! On today's Weird or Wired we explore the new discovery that can help you regrow lost teeth.
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On today's Group Therapy CJ discusses something that's been bothering him - the fact that nobody wants to hang out with him. Emily, Matt, and Spenny all provide a little therapy for The Captain, as well as a much needed dose of reality.
We unveil our new segment Wheel of 4Chan, which acts as a replacement for our segment about weirdos and upset people in public. That was called People Behaving Badly. We like the new name. Anyway, in our inaugural segment we discuss the airplane lady who freaked out when she claimed to see a person who wasn't real.
And Austin is about to set a record for consecutive, hot days. Matt Bearden has a report on the records and all the specifics on today's Weird or Wired.
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We eat a bunch of cheese today.
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Emily has a vendetta against bees and wasps ever since she suffered through a stinging one fateful Christmas night. Now she's super excited that there's a TikTok trend where users have found a way to kill wasps and their nests off with a jar of gasoline. The problem, though? There are less dangerous and cheaper ways to do it, according to CJ and Spenny. Listen to Emily plan her vengeance on today's Social Cues.
Matt's mother-in-law recently ended up in trouble for something she did while cleaning a client's house as part of her job or whatever. She's a maid or something? I forgot, but the important part of the story asks this question: should you sneak candy from somebody's stash? Matt's MIL did just that, and the consequences aren't quite what you'd expect.
And CJ introduces Spenny to the new Burger King Cheese Burger, which is a new item featured in Thailand that includes twenty (yes, 20) whole slices of cheese on a bun. No meat. No lettuce, tomato, onion, or pickle. Nothing else. What. The. Hell. As a result of this strange combination of ideas, CJ challenges Spenny to eat one with him on the next segment of CJ is Fat.
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There's a new dong enhancement surgery that is causing a ton of complications for men eager to, uh, change the shape of their wangus. It's called "Penuma", and Matt Bearden has more info on the surgical procedure that is leaving some men with far less than they started off with. Today's Weird or Wired has got the details.
Did Jonah Hill go too far with his ex girlfriend? Recently released text messages between the two have surfaced, and it's got the award-winning actor in a bit of hot water. We discuss on today's Social Cues.
And Austin has lost billions of gallons of water this past year. How do we fix our pipes? How do you report a leak? Learn more on today's episode.
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Emily thinks that cold showers are a sham. She's been having to take cool showers as a result of her apartment's nefarious shenanigans, and so far she hasn't seen any of the benefits that proponents claim exist. Follow us along as Em debunks the myths behind taking a cold one.
Are people migrating to the new Twitter? Matt Bearden reports that Facebook's new Twitter-like app, Threads, has already received over 100 Million downloads. Is it Weird or Wired, though? Listen to our tech segment to find out.
And Spenny is having a birthday this week, but he doesn't know what to do. He isn't sure if he wants to do something big, something low-key, or nothing at all. The gang teams up to help him through this yearly dilemma yet again.
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CJ isn't used to being hit on by women, especially now that he's got a lovely fiancé. Well, he got hit on by a couple women last weekend, and shares his bizarre story with Emily and Spen. There's a fun twist, though. You'll see what I mean. Check it out on today's third hour. That's right. It's not a regular segment. TODAY IS SPECIAL OKAY GET OVER IT.
Excited for the Barbie and Oppenheimer movie releases? CJ, Emily, and Spenny are all excited for different reasons, but they also turn to the Internet to highlight some of the best memes surrounding it. That's on today's Social Cues.
And should we have cameras in every single thing that we own? Matt reports that more and more of our mundane household objects have data and motion tracking (or just outright cameras), and we're all wondering why. Today's Weird or Wired may hold all the answers.
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Today we say farewell to one of our favorite puppy boys - Mister P.
CJ's fiancé Lisa adopted Mister President roughly seven years ago, and he's been a huge part of their lives. As a result, he's also been a huge part of this show's lives as well. We've all met Mister P. We've all held him. We've all grown to love him. He was a sweet, goofy ball of magic.
So please join us for this episode as we pay tribute to Mister P, and we all say goodbye to a little part of our show today. It's not all doom and gloom, though. We've still got our regular segments ready to go for all the sweet information and entertainment you've come to expect.
Farewell, Mister President. You are loved, and you will not be forgotten.
(Please reach out to CJ to send him your regards @theCJMorgan or the show @CJMorganshow on Instagram or Twitter)
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What the heck is sex? Today we invite Savannah the Sex Therapist to the show for a serious conversation about everyone's favorite taboo subject. She's a licensed counselor whose primary focus is on men's sex lives, but she also counsels those who are in relationships considered outside the norm like polyamory or open relationships. We discuss men, erections, and dating in general on today's feature.
Emily feels like her doctor might be trying to scam her. She recently got a checkup after noticing she's had a persistent cough for a few weeks. Is her doctor trying to set her up? Is she a bad doctor? Or is Emily being overly cautious? Find out more on today's Leftovers.
And we learn a fun fact about dolphins on today's Weird or Wired courtesy of our friend Matt Bearden. We already know that dolphins are a highly intelligent species, but did you know they talk to one another? Better yet, a particular species of dolphin also does something that many human parents do with their kids. Find out on today's science segment.
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Today on Social Cues Emily discusses the girl who was filmed on dirty 6th this past weekend putting horse dung all up on her. What was her deal anyway?
Well, we here at the CJ Morgan Show are proud to announce a very special guest this episode: Madame Jubilee AKA Downtown Doo-Doo Girl.
That's right. Our very first viral guest this year, and she was more than happy to explain what her thought process was leading up to, during, and after the s**t-spreading ordeal.
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Should we start a book club? Emily asks the boys on today's Nerd Report if they should try to challenge themselves by reading books on a schedule. CJ, Emily, and Spenny all have their thoughts.
Comedians (and friends) Nick Saverino and Sawyer Stull stop by the studio today for a chat about their new comedy show. CJ asks them to join Did You Know for a segment today as well.
wehavefunhere
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Today CJ declares sweet tea to be garbage. Spenny doesn't necessarily agree even though he prefers unsweet tea. Are you on Team Sweet or Team Unsweet? The boys discuss the latest tea on where you can get the beloved warm or iced beverage around town on today's CJ is Fat.
Emily is getting a bit annoyed with someone taking up her living space, and now she's got to worry about a new roommate moving in too! Are her concerns validated or is she just being a bit of a grump? Find out on today's Leftovers.
And how do you feel about lab grown meat? Matt says a company is well on their way to having affordable, easily produced lab meat ready for store shelves. Learn more about this Frankenstein's meat on today's Weird or Wired.
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Today Emily explains how to reduce your screen time on your phone. Did you know your modern smart phone has a way to track your screen usage? Listen to today's Emily Explains It Allto hear some tips and tricks.
Is CJ high today? He came to the show after getting out of the dentist, and he seems a little mushy in the mouth. Listen to the show and see if he's able to pull it off.
And who here likes melons? Matt discovers that a dude has been able to grow two melons at once. Not two separate melons in his garden. No, they're both part of the same plant. The same melon. Whoa. Learn more on today's Weird or Wired.
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Today CJ and Spenny unveil their segment Hot Topic concerning a discussion that's up in the air online or elsewhere. Today the conversation is about whether or not you should tip your landlord. Listeners chime in as well with their thoughts, and even a couple landlords chip in.
Emily had her first experience as an "old person." Well, she got called an old person by someone young. So, yeah, I guess that's when it starts, right? Learn how Em was insulted and how young her attacker was on today's Leftovers!
And Matt found a stone wiener. Well, an archeologist did, and this particular rock pecker belongs to an ancient society that used these stones to sharpen their weapons. Learn more about what culture rocked this dong on today's Weird or Wired.
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The title of this episode is named after a fact we learned on today's Did You Know!? I don't want to spoil it for you. You'll have to listen to our favorite fact-finding segment!
Emily is getting a new roommate soon, so we discuss roommates in general on today's Group Therapy. Her home life is lived mostly alone with visits from her Sometimes Roommate that she lives with (whenever she comes back from her boyfriend's place, naturally). So basically Em needs to brace for the full blown roommate life again, and she's looking for tips from CJ, Matt, and Spenny.
And are we wearing the wrong shoes? A podiatrist seems to think so. Matt Bearden reports in today's Weird or Wired that bare foot sandals, which emulate the sandals of humanity's early days, are coming back in style.
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Today the gang discusses alter egos on the Nerd Report. CJ and Spenny get excited about their different views on alter egos, and Emily is excited to see a new artist come to town to perform.
There's a new invention for the healthcare world! Matt Bearden reports on today's Weird or Wiredabout a 3D-printed "pen" that can apply an "ink" to wounds to both seal them up and also help them heal faster.
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CJ wants a pool, but he wants to ask the gang what they think first. Will Emily, Matt, and Spenny agree that he needs an extra project to work on every day? Listen to today's episode to find out.
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Texas government has decided to do away with paper license plates. Yeah. That's about it. That's why this episode is titled that. I couldn't think of anything more interesting that also fit my rule of "two words only for some reason but maybe it's because you're crazy." Anyway, CJ and I (Spenny) discuss this a little on today's local features.
Emily is tired of dudes wearing flip-flops. She's just tired of flip-flops in general, actually. Sandals? Cool. Other open-toed footwear? Perfectly fine. But flip-flops? Get 'em the hell outta here! Emily explains her reasoning on today's Social Cues.
And Did You Know that the King Cobra is not actually a cobra snake? Listen to our favorite fact-finding segment as CJ, Matt Bearden, and Spenny dish out some trivia for your ear buds.
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Today Emily discusses a condition she suffers from that not many people are aware of. Lipoedema is a condition where an abnormal amount of fat collects in your legs (and sometimes arms). On today's Emily Explains It All she discusses the facts about her condition and how to help treat it.
CJ and Spenny talk about food hacks that are actual food hacks and not some dumb, overly complex TikTok vid on how to make spaghetti by baking it in a casserole dish for some reason. On today's CJ is Fat the boys discuss everything from popcorn seasoning tips to reinventing the classic s'more.
And what country is making a killing on cryptocurrency? Matt Bearden reports that a certain Asian country is profiting wildly from both A) mining the digital coins and B) stealing it from other countries. Listen to today's Weird or Wired for more details.
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Emily is off today, but CJ and Spenny decide to take over her Social Cues segment and discuss something important to social media this week. CJ has learned about something called 'sign shaming.' Listen to what that is, how to do it (or don't), and why it's bothersome.
Much of Reddit is protesting a series of changes coming to the website. On today's Weird or Wired Matt reports on the blackout of certain forums on the Internet's favorite website. But why are the neckbeards upset? What changes could force these people to band together? You gotta listen to find out, baby.
And CJ asks Matt and Spenny to help him work through a feeling that's come to his living situation. His house doesn't feel like a home anymore. How can the gang help CJ restore his house's honor? That's on today's Group Therapy.
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Emily is thinking about growing her nails long so she can get them decorated all "girly-like." She's still thinking about it, though, so she asks CJ and Spenny their thoughts about long nails on ladies. CJ is a huge fan of all types of long nails, and he gives his reasons. Spenny, though? Well, he hates long nails. Listen to his (rather calm) rant about why long nails are the ugliest thing that girls put themselves through in the name of beauty on today's Leftovers.
Zoom is coming out with an A.I. that can help you during your Zoom meetings. Finally! A way to skip meetings! Or is it? Learn more with Matt on today's Weird or Wired.
And have you heard of The Hairy Men? Alaska's very own Bigfoot-like creature has long been kept secret by the state's indigenous population, but in the early 90s some outsiders brought back tales of a population of hairy men living in the woods. Learn more on today's Super Spooky Unexplained Mysteries!
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CJ brings in a bunch of cover songs and asks the gang whether or not they like the covered version or original. Today's first edition of Smash or Pass is, well, let's just say it may take you by surprise.
McDonald's is an American staple, and it has been for many generations. One of the restaurant's favorite characters, Grimace, had a birthday recently, and Emily asks the gang to rank their favorite McD characters. That's on today's special two-part Nerd Report.
And is virgin birth possible? Scientists recently observed an alligator lay eggs that developed a fetus. The catch? This alligator female had zero contact with any males. Pretty cool, huh? Also, what the hell is going on??? Learn more from Matt on today's Weird or Wired.
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Did You Know!? Some countries serve milk in bags instead of cartons. Learn about that and (a whole lot) more on today's fun, fact-finding segment!
On today's special Emily Explains It All, the gang gets serious about nasty, romantic entanglements. Emily's good friend is trapped in an abusive relationship, and she asks CJ and Spenny to help her explain some ways to help a friend caught in a similar situation.
And what's up with aliens? The crew gets nerdy about extraterrestrial life on today's Nerd Report after an ex-military man claims the US government knows a bit more about aliens than they're letting on. Is he being honest? The CJMS gang has theories.
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Today is National Yo-Yo Day, so we talk about that wondrous toy.
Emily saw her first Austin FC game last weekend! How did it go? More importantly, how wet did it get? Find out on today's Leftovers.
Heard of North Brother Island? You will on today's Weird or Wired.
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Did You Know that ancient Egyptians used specially prepared grease as a form of deodorant and perfume? Find out more on today's fun, fact-finding segment.
Matt returns from Mexico feeling fully refreshed. On today's Group Therapy we discuss the difference between a trip and a vacation. Sometimes it's good to disconnect and relax.
And should we be labeling AI-created content? On today's Weird or Wired the boys discuss their thoughts as we all move deeper into an AI-driven world.
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Avery Moore, comedian and friend of the show, joins us again for more shenanigans. Today we discuss the Cathedral of Junk and the Museum of The Weird.
What's the difference between Tex-Mex and authentic Mexican? We explore this subject on today's CJ is Fat.
And Emily met an important milestone in her relationship with her boyfriend.
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Our friend (and power-comedian) Avery Moore joins the show again, and today we discuss her upcoming chauffeur job (that's a fancy word for a non-taxi, non-Uber driver). She's done a ton of different odd jobs since she started working as a teenager, and CJ has too, apparently. He shares a story of his chauffeur days as Avery moves to begin hers.
Emily is attending her first Austin FC game this weekend, and she's looking for tips and tricks! CJ and Spenny are here to guide her - CJ with his soccer knowledge, and Spenny with his first time experience at an FC game as well.
Also, Emily saw the new Spider-verse film! Listen to her review. And Avery does another Contest of Influencers with us!
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CJ has deemed today as the first official day of Texas Summer. Learn why on Today is the Greatest. He's our special little weather wizard.
Emily has some tips how to stay cool this summer, especially if you're going without AC (please try to get your AC fixed, though). Listen to today's Emily Explains It All for some hot tips. Or cool tips. Whichever, I don't care.
And Avery Moore joins us again today for our favorite, fact-finding segment - Did You Know!?It's fun, but we may have gotten slightly off topic. Screw it. Every day is a learning experience. Get over it!
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Yes, it's real. And, yes, it's back in action! Our friend (and comedian) Avery Moore joins the show to discuss her favorite food joints on today's CJ is Fat, and today's feature is Denver's very own Casa Bonita. Listen to the majesty of this restaurant on today's show.
Emily sent her first company-wide email. What was it for? To scold people for messing around with her desk. This is her place of zen at work, after all.
And Matt isn't here! He's on vacation! So Avery is filling in, and today we hold our Contest of Influencers segment where she must improvise a live commercial for a local Austin business.
Just listen, dang it. I'm tired, and my post-COVID brain fog is hitting me hard today. Feels like I received a concussion yesterday. Oh yeah, Spenny is back. That's me. I'm back on the show again. I'm here.
Bye
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Spencer continues to sit out from the show in solidarity with the writers strike so we attempt to make do without him. The good news is that today's show is actually good. No, really! We are kinda a little more entertaining on this podcast.
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Venmo is now for the children! Emily likes live music in the rain and the sports bet is still boring.
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Is CJ too childish for the Adult Split at a friend dinner? We also talk about Emily's D&D pizza game, AI on Spotify and the consequences of being too sexy in the pants.
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Emily's friends want to go on a day trip from Houston to our next door neighbor Louisiana to visit the Golden Nugget for some drinkin' and gamblin'. Unfortunately, Emily doesn't exactly consider that an ideal day trip. Listen to her, CJ, and Spenny attempt to define the perfect daytrip formula for the average wannabe traveler.
Is "stranger danger" on the rise? According to statistics it isn't. But why do an alarming amount of American parents fear that their kids are in extreme danger in public? Surely the rise in public mass shootings might affect this, but around 20% of parents are far more concerned that strangers have approached their children. Our resident childcare expert Matt Bearden is here to help dispel any myths surrounding strangers and danger on today's Parent Pickup.
And Did You Know that chocolate company Hershey's helped out during World War 2? Learn how they helped the country on today's fun, fact-finding segment.
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On Today is the Greatest we discuss this day in history where Constantinople helped defend itself from Atilla the Hun's army by...using...competitive sports? Wait, what? Apparently that's true! Listen to how these former Romans used competition to help defend themselves from invading forces!
Emily is looking to save money, but she only has two goofballs to rely on for financial advice. Can CJ and Spenny help her out? Or will she need to spend money to hire and advisor? That's on today's special two-part Nerd Report, where we nerd out about budgeting.
And Matt is tired of mommy (or daddy) bloggers trying to gatekeep parenting. On today's Parent Pickupwe discuss screen time, parks, and what being a good parent really is.
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Learn where to find some delicious, well-dressed hot dogs in the 512 area code on today's CJ is Fat.
Is work-from-home becoming a thing of the past? Well, CEOs and other big boss types (who get to work from home) think that employees should all return to physical work locations. Why is this trend dying? We discuss on today's Weird or Wiredwith Matt Bearden.
And holy crap, Emily finds a rare gem on today's Clickbait Corner! Today's list concerns all of the essential items you'll find in a guy's home - a guy in his early 20s, that is. Listen to CJ and Spenny groan as they relive some of theirs or their friends' past habits. It's pretty gnarly.
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On today's Weird or Wired Matt discusses phrogging. No, it's not some new, cool term for sex that the kids are shouting about. It's the act of living in somebody's house without them even knowing you're there. Sound creepy? That's because it is! Listen to more about this strange, invasive activity on today's show.
Oh yeah. Spenny is back from vacation.
College students all across the country celebrated their graduations last weekend, and the show would like to say congratulations! Emily reminisces on her graduation 3 years ago and how it really, really sucked. Learn more about her memorable evening on today's Leftovers.
And CJ is getting discouraged by all of the Star Wars shows that have been put on hold due to the current writers' strike. He's all about the writers striking for more rights and benefits, of course. He just wish it didn't come at his favorite show's expense. Learn more about what productions are getting caught up in the current uproar for writers' rights on today's Nerd Report.
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It’s wedding season
And now we got a reason to get a big boy
I need a big boy
Give me a big boy
It’s wedding season
And all the girls are leaving to get a big boy
I need a big boy
I want a big boy
I
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Le'ah Sampson joins the show for some ancient rap battling, contest of influencers and a lot of cussing.
Remember to vote for the show & CJ as best Radio Program and Best Host - https://vote.austinchronicle.com/politics-and-media
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Spencer goes to Nashville and Broadway Street comes to 6th in his place with the band Jive Talk. Em ponders what to do in a tornado and Matt's not cool enough for Snapchat.
Remember to vote for the show & CJ as best Radio Program and Best Host - https://vote.austinchronicle.com/politics-and-media
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Are shrimp the chips of the sea? Spenny seems to think so. On today's CJ is Fat the lads discuss America's favorite seafood. Will CJ actually attempt the all-you-can-eat-shrimp challenge? I hope so. Somebody please hold him accountable. Text us at 512-835-1015.
How do you take a shower? You, that is. How do YOU do it? Where do you start? What's the order of operations you take? And are you doing it wrong? Emily seems to think CJ and Spenny don't know how to shower, and she offers to explain the appropriate method on today's Emily Explains It All.
And Australia's cutest eucalyptus munchers are in danger of going extinct. What exactly is killing the koala community? Is it sex? Too much sex, maybe? Are they having naughty, dirty sex? Technically yes. But it's not the sex that's killing them off. Listen to today's Weird or Wiredwith our friend Matt Bearden to learn more.
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What is up with this episode's title? Listen to today's Parent Pickupto learn how we humans deal with failure and how not to succumb to the madness of it all.
Emily recaps her birthday bash/concert. She got a little drunk in front of her parents, but it's all good. Listen to Leftovers to hear what you missed! Unless you attended! Then you can listen to Emily and Spenny recap their nights!
And let's talk about meteorites! What size of space rock would it take to destroy the entire world? We start with the smallest, least destructive size and work our way up to the absolute units. That's meme talk, don't worry. My brain didn't just stop working halfway through the sentence. Anyway, learn more on today's Weird or Wired. And Google "absolute units." Make sure your safe search feature is on just in case.
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Happy Cinco de Mayo! Today we talk about America's favorite Mexican holiday that celebrates the victory over the French at the Battle of Puebla. Wait, you didn't think Cinco de Mayo was Mexican Independence Day, did you? Oh, ho, ho, ho! We have got some learning to do! Listen to Today is The Greatestand Did You Know to learn more about the history of today's celebrations.
Emily's birthday is this weekend, and she's excited to host her live event. But she's even more excited to declare that birthdays don't necessarily need a birthday cake. If you don't like cake, why celebrate with one anyway? Not that Emily hates cake or anything - she just wanted to make banana pudding for her birthday week. Celebrate with cookies! Or pie! Or ice cream! We discuss our favorite treats on today's Leftovers.
And we hear a lot about how artificial intelligence, or A.I., is potentially harmful for society. But on today's Weird or WiredMatt has found an instance where AI is helping people, and it's making them money. Progress is great! Sometimes!
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Happy May 4th, and may The Force be with you! Today is our special Star Wars show in honor of the holiday that celebrates the worldwide film phenomenon concerning space politics.
We have Galactic editions of our favorite segments today including:
- Today is the Greatest(we learn about today's origins!)
- CJ is Fat(we learn where to celebrate today!)
- Edit or Bet It(we compete over Star Wars trivia!)
- Nerd Report(duh!)
- Did You Know(we learn about Star Wars!)
- Clickbait Corner(we discuss the best villains in Star Wars!)
Also, is Emily a concert snob? And how do you protect yourself against scammers using A.I. like Chat GPT to steal your info?
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Coal Tiger just sounds cool, but did you know it sounds kinda racist when you realize it's what comic book creator Stan Lee wanted to originally call the Black Panther?? Okay, maybe Stan Lee didn't have any sour thoughts in mind when he named the superhero, but you've gotta admit Black Panther sounds way cooler. Learn about this and more fun stuff on today's Did You Know.
Emily is about to turn 25, which is the age her mother was when she gave birth to Em! Naturally this has her comparing herself to her parents and their lifestyles to some degree, but fear not! Our dear cohost Emily is glad she's leading a different life, and she describes how to successfully avoid comparing yourself to your parents on today's Emily Explains It All.
And are we human? Or are we dancer? Matt Bearden asks this question on today's Weird or Wired, as scientists have determined that we humans are missing a certain gene in our DNA that mammals have. Huh? Where did it go? Aren't we considered mammals? How did we show up on this planet, then? Learn more on today's science and tech segment.
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Emily has discovered that her boyfriend has a thing for goth girls, but she doesn't necessarily fit that description. Find out how she learned about her boo's taste in women and where exactly she lands in the goth spectrum on today's Leftovers.
CJ's pet pooch Pickle did a doggy race this past weekend, and CJ has the results of what place she got in the race. Listen to the freakin' episode to find out!
And is social media really screwing with our heads? Science says yes, and Matt Bearden has the report on today's Weird or Wired.
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CJ has entered his dog Pickles into a race this weekend! Will she take first place? Or will her body give up on her like CJ's? We don't know yet obviously! But we wanna discuss it.
Emily is checking out a Russian band that doesn't speak much English. This is her first time catching an artist from another country, and she wants to know what the protocol is. Well, is there even any protocol in the first place? We discuss on today's Leftovers.
And we all know that blinking is important. It keeps your eyes refreshed. It helps clear away foreign particles. It also helped creatures evolve from the sea onto land. Wait, what? Matt Bearden explains how science has recently discovered the one thing that may have very well led to humanity's dominance of the planet - our ability to blink. That's on today's Weird or Wired.
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Today the gang brought personal items to the studio for show-and-tell. Yes, we know this is a podcast. Yes, we know you can't see what we brought. But we've got descriptions and stories to tell! Go vote for who brought the best item on our socials as well. Yes, those last two sentences rhyme.
Emily is considering taking a break from social media. She's done it for a bit briefly and shares some advice. CJ and Spenny have taken long breaks as well and have some input. What do you think? Have you taken a break? Does it make you feel better or worse?
And Elon Musk isn't the only one getting attention for a malfunctioning rocket recently. Sweden has been working on rockets of their own for space travel, but they recently made a boo-boo. Listen to Matt Bearden explain on today's Weird or Wired what country they could have potentially started a war with.
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Emily returns today with advice on how to survive a long concert performance. She recently saw Taylor Swift perform her 3.5 hour long show in Houston, so she's got some tips and tricks. Learn more on today's Emily Explains It All.
Matt suggests some fun games to play when you're traveling. It's useful advice for parents, but it's also helpful for those of us without children. Find out more on today's Parent Pickup. Yes, it's still for childless fiends like you.
And the 26th Wiener Dog Races are happening this weekend in Buda. Will CJ be able to enter his dog Pickle into the races? And will she win? CJ discusses his past performances at the races with his last dog Miles (RIP King) and how he's going to strategize to win this year.
Spenny's here too.
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People are stealing your juice! Your phone battery juice! And your data! Oh no! Listen to today's Weird or Wiredto learn what's going on and how to protect yourself.
CJ has another dream about Spenny. Will it be a sexy dream this time? Find out immediately upon starting this episode.
And Witcher season 3 is on the way. CJ and Spen discuss the sword and sorcery streaming show and the behind-the-scenes drama that has led to lead actor Henry Cavill calling it quits this season.
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Did You Know the oldest instrument in existence is a flute made of bone? Find out how old this thing is on today's episode during everyone's favorite segment.
We're down a teammate today, so the show is a little shorter. Still plenty of conversations to be had, though. Like ones about these things:
- Bucket lists
- 90s Nostalgia
- Best cities to eat stuff
- The Simpsons
- A cool new music app
- MORE OMG JUST LISTEN
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You'd be surprised by how literal this episode's title is. Listen to today's Did You Know to find out more.
Is proposing to somebody on a college campus lame? Or is it sweet? Emily poses the question on today's Leftovers.
And we say goodbye to Netflix's DVD mailing service on today's Weird or Wired. It's truly the end of an era.
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Today is Weed Day. Enjoy our pot-themed show. Learn some things and laugh and stuff okay.
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Today on Emily Explains It All we discuss how to gracefully deny an invitation to an event. Emily lists her tips and tricks on how to cope with FOMO when being unable to attend a hang session, or for whenever you just don't feel like going. Also during this two part segment is advice on how to accept a 'no' from a friend or coworker. THIS IS IMPORTANT LISTEN TO IT.
One of the Pacific Trash Islands has started hosting life on its plastic shores. Matt Bearden reports that one of our manmade, floating garbage islands in the Pacific has started showing up with critters from the coastlines. Essentially any animal that lives on the regular, sandy coastlines of North America are showing up on these rubbish islands. What does this mean for these animals, and, better yet, what does this mean for SCIENCE!? Learn more on today's Weird or Wired.
And Kyle, Texas is attempting a world record again for most similarly named people hanging out in the same city. If you're named Kyle, you have until May 21, 2023 to make plans to show up to this event to put our southern neighbor Kyle on the map! Let's help 'em win a world record!!! Learn more on today's episode. Especially if you're Kyle. Hi, Kyle.
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Today we discuss the Spanish athlete who just finished 500 days in complete isolation underground for the benefit of scientific experimentation. Matt Bearden reports in today's Weird or Wired that scientists wanted to see what total isolation would do to a human. Find out what happens!!!
Emily dressed up as a dude for a recent event! She said everyone was loving her manly outfit, and she's even considering starting a Drag King movement. Listen to the details on today's Leftovers and see pictures on our social media (and the website).
And have you ever been annoyed by somebody's dog at a restaurant? CJ and Spenny discuss the differences between Service Animals and animals used as therapy aids. Let's all educate ourselves so we can legally call people who bring their dogs everywhere jerks! And maybe ask them to leave.
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Emily has something stuck between her teeth today, and she can't seem to get it out. As a result she brought us some wonderful clickbait! Listen to the list of foods most likely to get stuck in your teeth on today's Clickbait Corner.
Is A.I. running rampant? Matt seems to think so following a story where an Artificial Intelligence that was programmed to perform specific tasks also taught itself how to speak a different language. Good for you, AI. Way to be productive! But also, um, yikes? Today's Weird or Wired has more details.
And have you ever had a concert canceled on you? It's not the best feeling, but CJ has had plenty of experience with this. Especially this past weekend, where one of his favorite bands, M83, was slated to perform but had to cancel. Listen to CJ's experience and get in on the hot gossip as to what happened to the band.
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What are you feeding your favorite puppy-dog friend? On today's Weird or Wired Matt Bearden discusses the advancements in research that kibble has made versus far more expensive wet food.
We all know what the 9 to 5 grind is like. But what's your 5 to 9 like? Emily has brought a new TikTok trend to today's Social Cues, and she asks CJ and Spenny to weigh in. What are we weird radio people like after we get off work?
And what are your favorite road trip snacks? CJ and Spenny discuss theirs on today's CJ is Fat. Did we leave anything off the list? Let us know on our socials.
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Emily wants to visit Big Bend this year, and CJ is ecstatic about it. That area of West Texas is his favorite to visit, so he's got tons of advice to share. Only problem is - CJ likes the State Park side of things, and Emily wants to visit the National Park side of the area.
The whole gang plays the game A Star Is Bored, where Matt, Emily, and Spenny must compete to guess what celebrities look bored standing next to CJ. As you may know, our glorious host has done radio for over a decade, and in that time he's met several stars. Listen in to see who wins, as well as hear which famous people CJ has touched shoulders with.
And scientists have figured out something magical. You know squids, right? Soft, fleshy, tentacle-laden creatures of the deep sea? Well, many of them can naturally turn their skin pigmentation different colors in order to camouflage themselves from predators. Scientists have figured out how to replicate that in skin cells in a lab! Listen to more on today's Weird or Wired.
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Today, New York City announced its first ever Rodent Mitigation official in order to help deal with the rising rodent population. CJ and Spenny discuss the details on Today is the Greatest.
When do you introduce your new lover to your friends group? And when do you tell your new lover that you "L" them?? The gang discusses these topics on today's Emily Explainsand Leftovers.
And what other potential games could Nintendo make movies about?? Matt Bearden discusses on today's Weird or Wired.
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CJ is stoked for the new Star Wars show Ahsoka, which will feature his favorite character General Thrawn. We discuss the new content from a galaxy far, far away and learn a new phrase from CJ on today's Nerd Report.
Emily realizes that she's the ultimate Taylor Swift fan of her group (AKA "Swifty"). How did this happen? Why did this happen? Is she willing to accept this reality? Find out on today's Leftovers.
And New York Times releases a new Wordle-like app called 'Digits' that features math puzzles. Matt Bearden discusses on today's Weird or Wired, but a revelation about CJ derails much of the conversation. Let's just say...it has to do with a crappy situation.
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On today's Group Therapy the gang discusses feeling guilty about not visiting family. Is it weird? How do you stop it? How often should you visit? A surprisingly serious and sentimental segment today, you stupid bitch. Sorry. Had to mix it up for a second because I was getting uncomfortable. You're not a bitch.
More:
- Emily went to the Sherwood Forest Faire
- CJ had his first dream about Spenny
- Matt and Spenny saw the Super Mario Bros. movie!
- We discuss Easter candy
- Food - you know we love food so we talk about it
- There's more I just can't remember whatever just listen gosh dang it
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Today's Did You Know is another good one. Learn about dinosaurs with us!
Emily is planning her birthday bash, and it's going to be held at a venue with musical artists and comedians. Problem is, she's just now planning her birthday with only a month to get things organized. Can she pull it off? We discuss in today's Leftovers.
And did you know you could purchase housing on Amazon? According to Matt Bearden you totally can. Learn more on today's Weird or Wired.
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On today's CJ is Fat, Spenny and CJ discuss seven food items that can help with your sex life. Where do nuts end up on this list? You'll have to listen to find out!
Prom season is almost here, so Emily thought the gang should discuss their prom experiences. Were they good? Were they bad? Did they even happen at all? Find out on today's Leftovers.
And we're bringing new technology to our favorite segment. On today's Did You Know, Matt introduces CJ and Spenny to a new device that will help them conjure the most random, fun facts with the least amount of effort possible. Hooray!
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Today we discuss the importance of code words in an everchanging world of technological scams. Listen to Parent Pickupto see how you and the family can take steps to protect yourselves.
And is Emily a picky eater? She doesn't think so, but she thinks it's weird that people question her distaste for salads. CJ and Spenny discuss.
There's more, but you gotta listen.
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CJ misspeaks during our foodie segment. That's it. That's all. That's why the podcast has this title. There. No more mystery.
Emily has planned the Ideal American Date and wants to discuss.
Matt has learned that there's no point to parenting after your kid turns 5 or 6.
And CJ wants to get a new puppy. The gang thinks it's a bad idea
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Have you heard the news? Dinosaurs have lips! Well, they hadlips. Learn more about this weird science on Weird or Wired.
How do fit people get in shape and stay committed to it? Emily asks this important question on today's Leftovers.
And DID YOU KNOW that there's a Native American reservation at the base of the Grand Canyon? You know it now. Learn more with us on today's Did You Know!?
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Emily is concerned about a series of holes that her parents have begun digging on their property. Find out why they're penetrating the sweet, green earth and why Emily is a bit perturbed by it on today's Leftovers.
More:
- Scott Pilgrim anime is announced
- CJ and Spenny debate over voting on new Taco Bell menu items
- The whole gang takes a quiz to determine if they're best friends
- Netflix doing some more video game stuff
- Go vote for CJ in the Austin Chronicle Best Of polls
- Just listen, you goof
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Yes, you read the title correctly. Listen to Weird or Wired to hear about this strange Phallic Festival. Oooh yeah. You like that? Phallic. Festival. It just sounds nice.
Emily was hassled by a Karen at a concert who thought Em was too tall to be standing in front of her. Listen to how the altercation unfolds on today's Leftovers. Also, CJ and Spenny chime in with their thoughts as two tall, concert-attending boys.
And Spenny reports on the new Dungeon & Dragons movie starring Chris Pine. Apparently audiences and critics agree that it's a lot of fun. Also, Last of Us season 2 news, Disney's Daredevil news, Legend of Zelda's sequel to Breath of the Wild shows off new gameplay, and more. Check out Nerd Report.
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Join us for our very first show created by Artificial Intelligence!
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Research shows that if you're born in March, you're much sadder than most people. This and more fun facts on today's episode.
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Today Emily asks if she's weird for disliking sharing a bed with someone. CJ and Spenny chime in.
Did You Know champagne corks kill more people per year than sharks do? Learn with us on today's fun, fact-finding segment.
And CJ revisited some of his favorite childhood films. Do they stand the test of time or remain only as great memories? Find out on today's Nerd Report.
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Today Emily brought some illegal, out-of-season Pumpkin Spice syrup from Starbucks in to the work kitchen today. She thought it would be a nice gift for everyone who drinks coffee in the building. But, is she wrong to be a little upset that nobody has acknowledged her charitable deed?
We learn a lot about dongs today too. Specifically, dongs in the animal kingdom. You'll thank us for this specific, fun fact on today's Did You Know.
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Put some honey down your kid's throat. Just make sure they're at least 2 years old.
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We surprise CJ on today's Group Therapy. It's a plan devised by Emily, and it's devious. You'll have to listen to find out more.
Speaking of Emily, she finally had to reject someone's advances by using the "I have a boyfriend" line. Listen to her regale the tale on today's Leftovers.
And are you a grower or a shower? Do you have a penis? If not, you may not know what I'm talking about. Apparently science has uncovered the whole "grower v shower" to be completely true. Listen to Matt Bearden talk about dongs on today's Weird or Wired.
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Celebrate March 10 with us as we discuss everyone's favorite video game character.
There's more, but it's Friday during SXSW week one, and I wanna go get into some shenanigans. You understand, right? Right? Please? Please understand. Don't hate me.
I love you.
bye
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On today's Clickbait Corner CJ, Emily, and Spenny all answer the Top Questions Most People Lie About or something to that effect. It gets a little spicy, so strap in for the ride.
Also, Tesla steering wheels seem to be falling off. Matt Bearden reports that an investigation has started to determine what the heck is happening.
And we all talk celebrity crushes. Who's your favorite?
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It's International Women's Day! We celebrate with our friend Emily by having her show up to the show like normal and doing her dang job. No one is special. No one is unique. We're all small, worthless specks in a cosmic dust storm.
Just kidding. Emily's boo told her Happy Women's Day. Is that weird? We discuss on today's show.
We also invite hilarious comedian Leah Sampson to the show to hang out and talk about her upcoming shows in Austin.
And CJ gives his mom a call to tell her he loves her. He may or may not sneak a 'deez nuts' joke into the conversation. We'll see.
bye
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Today we learn that Emily has joined a cult that isn't actually a cult. What does that mean? Let her explain on today's Leftovers. It sounds like she had fun. CJ and Spenny might be jealous.
Did You Know it's illegal to get married in Nebraska if you have an STD? On today's fun, fact-finding segment we continue discussing the weird laws in states that are still on the books, although they're likely not taken seriously by law enforcement.
And an A.I. jet has finally outperformed a human pilot! On today's Weird or Wired Matt reports on this wild technological innovation that STILL. SOMEHOW. HASN'T COME TO CARS YET. COME ON ALREADY!
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Do you get sad during March like our buddy CJ? It's a term he's coined as "March Sadness", and it comes during the month of South By Southwest here in town. Why is CJ so bummed out? Listen to today's Group Therapy to find out more.
How does vertical gardening sound to you? It should sound good since it's extremely cost effective and doesn't take up much space. Today's Weird or Wired has more details.
And should you delete photos of your ex-partner on social media? Emily poses this question on today's Social Cues.
bye
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Today we add Super Spooky Unexplained Mysteries to our lineup of programming. We'll take a look at fun, mysterious happenings in the world every week. On today's segment CJ unveils the Windsor Hum, which is one of many undetectable sounds that occur around the world. When we say 'undetectable', we mean you can't detect it without using special equipment. Some people can barely hear it, though, which has led to these hums' discoveries. Regardless of whether you can hear it or not, it causes anxiety and discomfort after prolonged exposure.
Emily poses the question - how often do you wash your things? Clothes? Body? Hair? Bathroom? Kitchen? Bed sheets? We go around the room and discuss the differences in all of our hygiene habits on today's Leftovers.
And eSports may be coming to the Olympics after all, but it's much to our friend Spenny's dismay. He, after all, is the show's resident video game enthusiast. Matt Bearden reports on today's Weird or Wired which eSports could be included in the Olympics in the near future and why this isn't necessarily an exciting bit of news for Spenny.
bye
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Today we kick off a new game called Bracket Busters, and today's tourney of champions includes the gang's 4 favorite bands. CJ, Matt, Emily, and Spenny are all playing, and you can vote for your favorites of their choices. Follow us @CJMorganShow on Twitter and Instagram so you can make your voice heard in this tournament and in future brackets as well!
Emily thinks she's a superior parallel parker. CJ believes he's a superior parallel parker. Both expand upon why they're great, and Emily even has a pupil that learned from her methods. Find out more on today's Leftovers.
And, oddly enough, quilting can help children learn math. On Parent Pickup, Matt Bearden reports that recent experiments show how the act of sewing a quilt can reinforce what kids are learning in certain areas of mathematics. Plus, you get to have a quilt when you're done with your assignment. What a win-win situation!
bye
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Matt Bearden reports that the government is considering banning TikTok nationwide. He doesn't necessarily enjoy the government interfering with peoples' lives, but since he's the parent of two young children, he'd love to be able to blame the authorities when it comes to parenting with social media. Listen to today's Parent Pickup for more details.
When was the last time you went for a run? Emily discusses her tips for running since she has been working out recently. Find out how to increase your pace, speed, time, whatever, I don't know, just listen to Emily Explains It All.
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On Group Therapy today Emily posed a question that a friend of hers is struggling with: what should you do if a friend you live with can't make rent? CJ and Matt have had a lot of different roommates and help tackle this dilemma.
Why do we stop listening to new music as we grow older? On today's Nerd Report, CJ explores this seemingly strange phenomenon. It's not quite so bizarre once science enters the conversation.
And will a robot that can help pump your gas really matter in a world that's turning to electric vehicles? Matt Bearden reports on today's Weird or Wiredabout some new tech that may be too late to the party.
bye
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On today's Weird or Wired Matt Bearden reports on the James Webb telescope that was launched last year. It has been helping us observe much farther into the universe than ever before. It's also confirmed that some massive galaxies were formed a long time ago, and this was originally thought impossible due to a number of scientific discoveries. How will science expand upon this in the future? How will this be explained? I HAVE NO IDEA.
Also, Mark Zuckerberg's company Meta helped a city hold its first courtroom proceedings in the virtual Metaverse. Is it lame? Or useful? Emily explores this subject on today's Social Cues.
And CJ unveils a fast food restaurant whose product is coming to grocery stores in the near future. What restaurant is it? And what food are they going to offer in store? Find out in today's CJ is Fat.
bye
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Would you swallow a vibrating pill to help with your constipation? Matt Bearden reports on today's Weird or Wired that the new pill, dubbed Vibrant, can help constipated patients stimulate their poop-hole to start working properly again. Need we say more? Sign the whole show up for some of these beauties!
What Zodiac signs harbor the most vengeful personalities? Emily explores this concept on today's Clickbait Corner, where we learn about the top three most revenge-filled signs. Are you one of them? LISTEN AND FIND OUT ALREADY.
And we report that the CIA is coming to South by Southwest this year. CJ and Spenny are planning to go to these events and ask some fun questions. Maybe. Or maybe not. We don't want to get "disappeared."
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We did a physical challenge today for our Sports Betsegment! It's been a while since we've done one, so we're excited to announce the PICKLE PLOP! Listen in to see what that entails. It's Matt Bearden versus CJ Morgan!
Speaking of physical challenges, we invite the ladies from the Texas Roller Derby on to the show to discuss their upcoming schedules. We talk about origins, strategy, and how to come up with your very own Derby name.
And Emily saw a dude get attacked by a dog. She didn't care much for that experience. Listen in on today's Leftovers.
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Matt Bearden reports on today's Weird or Wired that we need to create a national sperm donor database. We don't want any unintentional (or, sweet Jesus, intentional) incest occurring as a result of poorly updated information. CJ is super excited to legally discuss semen as well.
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Quick Spenny Note: I completely forgot about the prefix 'trad', as I haven't studied English and grammar in over a decade. WHATEVER.
A new, so-called trend of women posting about their marital lives is maybe a thing? I don't know. Is anything really a trend anymore? A fad? Anyway, ladies are calling themselves "Trad Wives", which is short for "traditional wives." Oh, wow, great, good for you. Don't bother sharing anything interesting or new on TikTok. Just the same old shit we see all the time. Anyway, Emily reports on this on today's Social Cues, and she's a bit more upset than I am about it!
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Today on Did You Know!?we discuss a few of the lesser known presidents of our history.
Other things in this episode:
- our station rescued a street dog
- CJ tells us about a famous mummy
- we learn how to live a good life from a TikTok girl
- Matt discovers how often to clean and throw things away
- we discuss Taco Bell, Arby's, and more fast food changes coming
- we make some sports bets
- we discuss Lady Gaga in the Joker sequel
- Emily creeps on her neighbors
- we talk to Jimmi from Austin Facial Hair Club
- CJ uncovers a rivalry between Spenny and another morning show
- more stuff
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We discuss Drag Show etiquette on today's Emily Explains It All. As the show's resident Drag Queen enthusiast and, dare we say, expert, Em has been to the most shows out of the entire cast of the show. Because of this she knows a lot of the ins and outs of how to behave at a show that, at times, can get a little spicy. You're still expected to behave yourself, though. Don't be a jerk. Respect the performers.
Matt wonders about the proposed notion of childless neighborhoods, and he, CJ, and Spenny get into a conversation about what really makes a neighborhood great in the first place. That's on today's Parent Pickup.
And will CJ take Spenny to the new roleplaying bar opening up in Austin? It's called Tiny Minotaur Tavern, and you can show up dressed in your favorite fantasy gear and play make believe alongside other patrons.
PRESS PLAY ALREADY. HURRY. TIME IS WASTING.
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Today is Love Day or something like that, so we discuss things about love.
- We discuss the history of V-Day on Today is the Greatest
- Emily gets a bit hot and bothered by one of The Wiggles
- Matt announces the return of Barney the Dinosaur
- CJ lists several new restaurants you can take your date to this week
- We finalize the 2023 Fat Snack Bracket with a flurry of guest chefs
- We learn that Grease is making a prequel musical
- Just press play already
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Okay, not like that. Not like that. But there have been a lot of balloons flying over countries and getting shot down. Also, there have been some UFOs. What exactly is happening? Matt Bearden reports on Weird or Wired.
Also, this episode:
- CJ's Super Bowl shenanigans
- Emily wonders if it's okay to introduce a new boo at Super Bowl parties
- Super Bowl commercial rankings
- Snack Bracket 2023 finalists announced
- Matt bemoans Valentine's Day struggles for the average parent
- Prop betting results between Matt and CJ
- Press play and listen RIGHT NOW
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CJ pits Emily against Spenny in a game he calls "String Beans." It's fun. Play along.
Oh, there's more to the show, of course. Things like:
- It's National Umbrella Day
- Emily discusses overly complex game night plans
- Matt discusses the ethics of begging on social media
- CJ and Spenny are here too
- Just listen
- Please? Press play. Right now. Go ahead.
- COME ON ALREADY
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Have you heard about this? An artificial intelligence is being used to create an infinite Seinfeld-esque show that is streaming 24/7. Matt Bearden reports on today's Weird or Wired.
Also:
- A toddler stole Emily's keys
- CJ challenges Emily in another season of Edit or Bet It
- We unveil our Snack Bracket 2023 on CJ is Fat
- JUST PRESS PLAY AND START THE EPISODE ALREADY
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- Emily finds some crazy dumb boots online
- Matt finds a new board game
- A Legend of Zelda sequel is coming in a few months
- Madeline from Austin Monthly tells us about their yearly dating event
- A stupid YouTube prank goes wrong in Austin's airport
- Japanese scientists use snow to generate power
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Looks like somebody pressed the button for cold weather here in Texas. That's it. I just wanted to reference last episode's title with a comment about how frosty it is today.
Stuff in this episode:
- Emily finds a cool Wiki Map experience
- Matt reminisces about school snow days
- Spenny gets excited about rice after the Longhorns football schedule drops
- CJ gets stoked to prep for the apocalypse
- We talk about a spooky video game remake
- 10 trends that disappeared overnight
- FUN FACTS
- COME ON
- YOU UNDERSTAND
- JUST LISTEN
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Today we discover that programmers and employees behind your favorite social media sites have what's referred to as a "heat button." Matt tells us on today's Weird or Wired that these peeps can essentially manipulate what gains more attention on social media versus other things. Sure, sometimes things can happen organically, but nowadays it's usually up to the gatekeepers behind the code. So don't feel bad when your really funny Tweet only gets two likes.
Emily has been stress eating, and on today's Group Therapy the gang laments their stress eating ways in an effort to help her push through the pain. Unfortunately it probably made things worse since they just discuss all their worst eating habits. Great. Hopefully you can relate.
And CJ unveils some new art of the whole CJ Morgan Show crew. Check it out on our website. (101X.COM for those who can't access the link; just copy/paste it, dang it)
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After being featured on the cover of Austin Chronicle this week, CJ invites his booboo and co-owner of Fallout Theater on to the show to discuss the venue alongside Virgil, also co-owner but also left off of the front page cover of the newspaper. How dare they! Virgil explains why he was left out and also what you can expect under new ownership at Fallout Theater. Spenny personally vouches for the place since he once studied improv there and performed in several sketch shows. (Go check the place out; some of the funniest live shows I've seen in Austin were at Fallout Theater ~Spenny)
Emily is turning 25 soon and wants to take a trip before, and we quote, "her life is over." CJ recommends Las Vegas and gives her a list of things to accomplish while visiting. That's on today's Leftovers.
And Matt announces the first asteroid mining company has been founded. It will take many years to send robots to the asteroid belt and back, but it should yield many valuable resources and precious metals. Feel free to nerd out with us on today's Weird or Wired.
Other topics:
- our BIG GAME SNACK BRACKET nominees start rolling in
- CJ excited for an Adam Driver / dinosaur movie
- Em curious about Valentine's Day quandary: do you ask your partner to be your Valentine?
- AND MORE
- ALWAYS MORE
- COME GET SOME
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Matt has discovered a new app that may come in handy to parents desperate for a night away from the kiddos. It's called 'Bambino', and it's an Uber/Lyft-style app for locating a babysitter. Sound crazy? Well, at first, yes, but Matt digs into the details of this app on today's Parent Pickup.
Emily is tired of a couple things in today's episode, namely the whole M&M debacle online and her cat not giving her enough space. Listen to her lament, and feel free to send her suggestions on Twitter @earthtoast so she can finally get some alone time away from her kitty. Listen to her Social Cuesand Leftoverssegments.
And fast food inflation is real. CJ and Spenny take a look at which restaurants have raised their prices the most and which one reigns supreme when it comes to most money spent per meal. That's on today's CJ is Fat food segment.
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Our guest today is comedian Andrew Murphy who, at the time of recording, will be hosting a live podcast at Cap City Comedy club. You probably won't be attending since you're a podcast listener, but we highly recommend his podcast Scumber Party that he hosts with comedians Ashley Sharma and Danny Goodwin. This isn't your ordinary comedian podcast where they sit around and talk about other comedians. The 'cast is set up like an adult sleep over with snacks, movie talk, and even ghost stories galore. It's a wicked, wild time. Check it out, and if you can catch 'em live we highly recommend you do so.
Oh, also on today's Emily Explains It All, Emily opens up about her recently revived love for movie theaters and explains how you can make the most of your movie-going experience with her list of recommendations.
And is Xbox going "woke"? Matt Bearden explores FOX News' strange fascination with a new Xbox feature that will help you save energy in your home. Apparently it's indoctrinating people. None of us know how saving money on utility bills is "going woke", but whatever. The Propaganda Machine continues to roar onward aimlessly. Anyway, that's on today's Weird or Wired tech/future segment.
bye
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The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists have declared the Doomsday Clock to be ten seconds closer to midnight, or total world annihilation. That means we're a total of 90 seconds away from ultimate destruction. Hell yeah, baby. That just means it's time for us regular folk to party.
What else to we talk about this episode? Check it out:
- CJ's eBay troubles
- National Beer Can Day
- TikTok sketch artists
- Free Target samples
- The new Oreo cookie
- Adult Swim parts ways with co-creator of Rick and Morty
- Foot fetishists
- AND MUCH, MUCH MORE
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The episode's title will make sense once you listen to today's Leftovers,wherein Emily poses the question: how much PDA is too much? And how old is too old for public sexiness? Em saw an elderly couple doin' some kissin' this past weekend and started thinking about it since we don't often see our elders out in public gettin' some affection.
Is not going to the gym better for your mental health? Well, Matt has some answers to that question on today's Weird or Wired. And the answer is a little surprising.
Also, CJ is upset about a viral story that's going around, but he thinks it's a complete fabrication. On today's Clickbait Cornerwe forego reading you a clickbait list to discuss another type of clickbait - viral stories. Does CJ have the documents to prove this recent story was a farce? LISTEN AND FIND OUT OMG
k bye
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Matt once again brings some science to the show in today's Parent Pickup. We all know kids are harbingers of illness, and today we discover the actual odds of you getting sick based on the number of children you have. It's a fun listen, get up in there and give it an ear.
Is Emily weird for never ordering delivery food? CJ and Spenny weigh in with their thoughts on today's Leftovers about, well, leftovers. Huh. How 'bout that.
And Taco Bell introduces a new meal in preparation for the Super Bowl this year. What are the treats? How much will it cost? When can I get it? CJ and Spenny answer all these questions on today's CJ is Fat.
bye
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Do you like feces? Good for you. Would you like to see a chicken take a crap while you gamble on where it will finally do so? Well, Chicken St bingo is for you! Matt discusses on today's Parent Pickup. It's fun for the whole family! No, seriously. It is a lot of fun.
What pains and hardships would you endure just to get something for free? Today Emily discusses what she went through to get a free milkshake from a local fast food joint on today's Leftovers.
And Matt is upset by something he discovered on today's Weird or Wired. It's basically a mouthpiece you wear while you're playing video games so nobody can hear you making stupid noises. Also it's Bluetooth enabled! Huh? What? Yeah, it does sound weird. Check it out.
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Is Emily being annoying when she asks restaurant waitstaff for their thoughts on the menu? Spenny doesn't think so, but CJ has actually worked as a waiter and has some very specific thoughts on the matter. That's on today's Leftovers.
Is Matt losing his mind over excess, messy cables lying around the house? Nah, not anymore. On Parent Pickup, he finds a wonderful solution for keeping your stuff organized.
There's more, of course. Tons more. LISTEN. LISTEN TO THE SHOW.
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On Today is the Greatest CJ and Spenny get distracted by a renowned heist leader's nickname. It was the first successful robbery of a Brink's security transport, and the event went down in history as the "crime of the century." Check out the details on today's show.
Emily is looking to possibly start a long distance relationship, and the guys chime in on their thoughts. Today's Group Therapy involves a lot of discouragement, but it's all for a good cause.
And when should you introduce your new significant other to your children? Matt asks (and answers) this all-too-common question. And psychology is there to back him up!
ok bye
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On today's Parent PickupMatt Bearden reports what most parents already know and what many soon-to-be parents should be warned about: kids stink, man. How do you cope with this? Matt has suggestions.
CJ, Emily, and Spenny play a game where they tell us their ages through what stores they used to visit in their childhood that are no longer in operation. Get ready for a nostalgic trip back through the wonder years with us.
And the gang plays another edition of Edit or Bet It,where Matt challenges Spenny on his knowledge of one of his favorite childhood films - The Goonies.
And that's it. You get nothing more. Listen to this fabulous episode. Bye bye.
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Today is National Milk Day, and we celebrate it on Today is the Greatest by reliving some of CJ's greatest milky memories.
Emily tells the story of how refrigeration almost killed her several years ago. It involves a can of tomato sauce and a can-do attitude.
Matt discovers a watch with a rock glued to it being sold for $300 dollars. The dude who created it is pretending it's innovative.
Spenny hovers nearby and laughs into the microphone, sometimes derailing the show. Somebody stop him.
Basically just a good ass show today. There's more. There's always more, but it's in this episode.
Bye.
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On today's Weird or Wired, we look at some more tech presented at the Consumer Electronics Show 2023. This particular invention, Matt says, is called a Heatbit, and it's essentially a heater that will mine cryptocurrency for you.
Emily considers herself a professional in the event planning and feast hosting world, but she's always trying better herself. On today's Leftovers she wonders how she can take her hosted events to the next level. CJ has a particularly trashy idea that sounds amazing.
And we continue the sports bet challenges with today's new game: Bread Pong Toe. Listen in on the betting results on today's episode, and watch Matt take on CJ at this new, bizarre game that's a twist on Beer Pong and Tic-Tac-Toe.
B-bye
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Are you team Cinnamon Raisin or Orange Chocolate? Emily poses this serious question on today's Social Cues.
On today's Group Therapy, Matt asks the group for help in trying not to get angry when he's working on a home project around his family. Listen in to see if any of the gang has advice that could help you whenever you feel like you're getting upset too. Also, disclaimer - we're not doctors or mental health professionals, just people that utilize doctors and mental health professionals to survive our weird lives.
And a certain international chain is planning on coming to Austin, Texas. On today's episode of CJ is Fat we explore why, when, and where Tim Hortons will be in operation in the 512 area (and beyond!).
Goodbye.
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Lots of fun stuff happening in this episode:
- CJ and Spenny unveil their new song
- Emily is attending her first estate sale - is there etiquette to consider?
- Matt found an awesome LEGO set for his son and Nintendo nerds alike
- Sports Betbegins its next season!
- Emily found a horrible tattoo online to share with us all
- Matt finds some strange tech from the Consumer Electronics Showcase '23
- We continue Clickbait Corner on the 10 Things That Should Be Normalized
- JUST LISTEN ALREADY WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS
- Goodbye
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Today's Edit or Bet It pits Spenny against Emily on the subject of the Nickelodeon animated series Avatar: The Last Airbender. Challenge yourself on what you know as Spen tries to trick Em over one of her favorite series. Or just listen to the chaos. That's the fun part of the show, after all.
Matt is excited for the CES, or the Consumer Electronics Showcase, which is currently underway. Weird or Wired is our segment focusing on tech and futuristic stuff, so we can't wait to hear all of the new and weird stuff people are proposing at this convention. On today's episode? BMW's new, oddly-named vehicle. It can do some cool things. Check it out. Laugh with us.
And on Clickbait Corner we discuss the top ten uncommon things that should be normalized in society. Like eating in a restaurant alone. No big deal right? Well, some people feel differently. I don't know. JUST LISTEN TO OUR SHOW.
<3
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Emily has unearthed a new slang word that the young'uns are using nowadays. The word in question? 'Rizz.' That's right. It rhymes with one of CJ's favorite words. Anyway, the gang discusses this new vocabulary addition and speculate on its lasting power.
Debit card for kids? What? Matt Bearden reports about a new option when it comes to teaching your kids how to save and appreciate money. Listen to today's Parent Pickupif you're interested. If you're not a kid or parent, just listen in for our hidden mature content in the segment.
Also, it's National Spaghetti Day. How do you like to celebrate? Our new text-in line is available for future episodes if you wanna weigh in on our topics. Text us at 512-835-1015 weekdays from 3p-7p.
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We're back in 2023, baby. Forgive us, won't you? Today we did a hybrid show of new and old material on account of one of the crew being sorta sick. Listen to this slightly shorter episode to see if you can guess who might be under the weather. Other than that, ENJOY! And happy new year!
CJ got some new yard-working tools? Yes, he did. Today's Nerd Report will share with you all of the dang details.
Matt discusses how to say "thank you" on today's Parent Pickup.
And Emily thinks Miley Cyrus is up to no good by releasing her new album on a certain date.
Okay. bye. Listen please. Bye.
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We're starting a cult, baby.
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On today's Emily Explains It All, our titular host discusses her process for letting a recent "hookup/crush" stay over at her place for the weekend. What is proper etiquette? And was he a good guest? All these questions AND MORE will be answered if you just freakin' listen.
Are CJ and Spenny trapped in a time loop? Or is the website they use to prepare daily Today is the Greatest segments gone out of business? Maybe both? I don't freaking know! Time is a trippy thing.
Also, not only are robots coming for all of our manual labor jobs, but now they're coming for our creative and intellectual pursuits. Matt reports in today's Weird or Wiredthat Chat GPT is a program, among many others available, that uses artificial intelligence to write things for you. Essays. Articles. Holiday Cars. Wikipedia entries. Proposals. Hell, maybe even podcast descriptions?? Someday. Maybe.
Okay, bye.
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CJ has really been getting into pies recently. Listen to him tell tales of his pie expeditions and how he likes to eat his pie on today's CJ is Fat.
Emily joins the show for most of it today since she's had some recent changes to her morning routine.
Lots of fun. Whatever. Just listen. It's freakin' free.
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On today's Social Cues Emily reminisces about some children's TV shows she recalls watching in her childhood. Listen in for some nostalgia as she explains a few of the shows to CJ and Spenny. Maybe you've seen them?
What is humanity? Matt poses this question on today's Weird or Wired. How long will humanity last? Is humanity tied to our skeleton meat sacks? Or can our human consciousness be uploaded to machines? I don't know, it's all very heavy stuff for me right now. I'm tired. Listen to see what's up.
Bye.
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Emily has been trying to get into the Christmas spirit, but it's her least favorite holiday. That hasn't stopped her from trying her hardest to wash away any negativity about it, though! Listen to today's Leftovers and discover how she plans to eradicate any doubt about America's favorite holiday.
CJ (and science) has finally discovered why people tend to get sick more during the cooler climes of winter months. It has a lot to do with bacteria. And death. Bacterial death. That may sound kinda metal, but I assure you it's very sciencey. Listen to the episode and find out what's up.
And even more scientific discoveries abound in today's Weird or Wired,**wherein Matt reports that scientists have been able to link a monkey's brain to a computer interface. The monkey can communicate through the computer and do things like play video games. This could be a monumental discovery for a number of reasons. Listen to find out just what this tech can be used for.
Okay, bye.
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How do you navigate the holidays? Specifically, how do you get through holiday parties? Our friend Emily discusses the multitude of holiday gatherings she has to attend this weekend and gives advice on how to persevere on today's Emily Explains It All.
Flying cars could be a thing by the year 2030. Matt tells us on today's Weird or Wired that a manufacturer claims an affordable flying car is possible in less than ten years. Yeah. Okay. I think we're all in agreement when we say "I'll believe it when I see it."
And a local Irish pub just opened this past week in Austin, and it's already having its share of troubles. Listen to today's People Behaving Badly to hear the scoop and listen to CJ's verdict on who is to blame for the shenanigans surrounding this pub.
Ok goodbye.
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On Weird or Wired Matt informs us of new technology that will eliminate the lightbulbs from the tail end of your vehicle and replace them with panels that can display lights and information. This sounds a bit weird, but listen in for the full details on how this tech can be used.
Emily is growing increasingly concerned with A.I. generated art. The newest app called Lensa is all over people's social media accounts, and it takes submitted selfies of yours and turns them into fancy-looking paintings. Em explains her hesitation with this potentially disturbing new trend in technology.
Okay, bye.
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CJ is thinking about getting a peg leg to further advance his "Captain" persona. Spenny thinks he should save the leg he amputates. Both delinquents think his leg should be eaten somehow, perhaps as a jerky. Yeah, it's a weird day. Join us in our gross conversation.
We've got another short episode for ya since we're missing some team members. STRAP IN AND ENJOY
Are self-replicating robots a thing? Will Skynet destroy us all? Matt Bearden reports in today's Weird or Wired.
And a dog saves his owner from a housefire. Get the heroic details on today's People Behaving Radly.
Okay bye.
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Kanye West keeps putting his foot in his mouth during interviews, and today CJ, Matt, and Spenny discuss how strange and sad it is. The once highly praised producer and rapper has been interviewed on several shows wherein he praises Nazis and condemns Jews. We discuss the sad mental state of this dude, having all been through our own mental health issues, but in no way is this a defense of such hateful conspiracies. It's just easy to get sucked into that type of thinking when you're unwell in the head.
Anyway, it's not all doom and gloom. Unfortunately, Emily is out today, so we've got a shorter episode. But! Today is National Pie Day, so CJ and Spenny discuss their favorite place to get pie. They also realize they don't know of a ton of places to get pies around town since it isn't normally something they're looking for when out and about. Send us your suggestions @TheCJMorgan.
And Matt reports that carbon dioxide batteries have been announced by a company. CO2, or carbon dioxide, is the gas we release when exhaling, and it's also the gas that plants absorb to produce oxygen - you know, the stuff we breathe and need to live. Since CO2 is a byproduct of our existence, why not try to make money off of it? And power things? Matt explores all the details in today's Weird or Wired.
Hurry back, Emily! There's too much dude energy up in here.
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Emily believes she is a master manipulator of sorts. Listen to today's Leftovers to hear how she plans to have a crush slowly fall for her. And don't take it too seriously either. None of us here are, so why should you?
CJ is convinced that his recent, rare LEGO set purchases are going to earn him some money. Oh, and he also bought a big-ass sword. Emily and Spenny lament this decision to him during today's Nerd Report.
And, what else? Oh, the USA has some of the highest traffic deaths in the entire world despite our proficiency with cars. Matt tells us more about this strange phenomenon in today's Weird or Wired.
There's lots more. There's always more. Okay, bye.
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NOTE: Our producer, Spenny, has been reprimanded for not uploading the podcast in a timely manner. We gave him a proper spanking on his robust buttocks, and he has reluctantly asked for your forgiveness.
On today's CJ is Fat we discuss the new addition of Cheddar Bay Shrimp at Red Lobster. They've taken their biscuit batter and are now frying up their shrimp in it. Good? Bad? I suppose we'll all decide soon enough.
Emily is wondering if dudes that work at nail salons have foot fetishes. This comes after she had a unique experience while getting a pedicure done recently. Listen in and contribute on today's Leftovers.
On Weird or Wired Matt warns us about the newest Tesla update, which aims to push the vehicles toward full, self-driving status. Unfortunately, that's not the case currently, as vehicles are still very much NOT self-driving even after the so-called "Full Self Driving" update. Just be careful out there on the road with all of these robot cars.
CJ is a stupid jerk idiot. Hah. There. I know you don't read this far down. Suck it!
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Sperm counts across the world are down 50% overall, which is an alarming bit of news. Matt Bearden reports in today's Weird or Wired.
Emily is hosting a potluck and would like to know something. Should a +1 bring something as well? CJ and Spenny discuss with Emily on today's Social Cues.
And this episode marks the birthday of famed cartoon character Mickey Mouse. On Today is the Greatest, CJ and Spenny take a look at some of the history behind the character and even discuss his predecessor.
Okay bye.
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Emily is tired of hearing Mariah Carey's Christmas music every freaking year. On today's Social Cues, she explains exactly why her hatred for the so-called "Queen of Christmas" exists.
Today is another game of Edit or Bet It, and Matt must challenge CJ on his knowledge of famed historical figure Napoleon Bonaparte. Will CJ, who has a degree in history, be able to determine what lie Matt tells about the ex-Emperor of France? Or will Matt outsmart CJ on a topic he knows little about?
That's all I got today. Listen and enjoy. Okay, bye.
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On today's Group Therapy we regale the horrors of the monopolistic Ticketmaster. Emily recently had a rough time trying to get tickets to see Taylor Swift, so we decided to bring up the Ticketmaster fiasco as a whole in attempt to shed light on its practice.
OMG there's so much more this episode, but I'm hella late and overworked. LISTEN. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST LISTEN.
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Did You Know that Sonic the Hedgehog was originally going to be from Nebraska? Well, that's until the Japanese creators actually visited Nebraska personally, and they changed their minds quickly. Learn about that and more fun facts on today's Did You Knowsegment!
Emily ponders the question - is it bad to be really good at bar sports? CJ and Spenny think so, especially after listening to Em's recent story about a friend of hers who is AMAZING at foosball.
And it turns out all those people involved in the recent FTX crypto scandal were living and working together somewhere in the Bahamas where they were all getting sexy with one another. Matt Bearden reports in today's Weird or Wired some truly hot goss from some cryptocurrency scam artists.
Bye.
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It's National Pickle Day! Celebrate with us as CJ discusses the origin of this glorious treat on today's Today is the Greatest. We also discuss a number of pickle-flavored products (and rate them) on CJ is Fat.
On Emily Explains It All, Em recalls a recent memory where she had to deal with somebody publicly who was being, well, a bit "too much." How did she get into a situation where a man was yelling at her in Whataburger? And how did she get out of the situation? Listen and find out, ya dang dingus!
And CJ wants to bring back world record attempts on the show! So send us your suggestions for records @TheCJMorgan on Twitter.
That's all. Well, that's not all, there's more, but it's in the podcast. Listen. Okay, bye.
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On today's Social Cues, Emily brings to our attention a puzzle book from the 1930s called Cain's Jawbone. Yeah. Hope all the italicization doesn't scare you there. That means I slanted the letters due to grammatical respect for the titled work. It's not some Italian, gabagool meme sht. Anyway, forgive my pretentiousness, but this book has only been solved by four* people in its entire, almost 100-year, existence. You still have until December of this year to solve it and win a cash prize. Go! Look it up! And be the fifth winner!
Matt says scientists are working on a super powerful plant! No, it's not a man-eating war machine or anything like that. Instead, it's a super efficient plant that can filter carbon dioxide and produce oxygen. How efficient? Well, this one plant is said to be equal to roughly THIRTY regular plants. Hell yeah. Let's put 'em to work. We got a lot of smog to get rid of.
And Spenny says goodbye to one of his favorite actors who passed away. Kevin Conroy was the voice of Batman in the animated series that aired in 1991. Due to the popularity of said show, he went on to voice Batman in various forms of media, from cartoons to video games. As a result, he was known as The Voice of Batman for multiple decades and for a couple of generations. CJ and Spenny discuss their feelings on Conroy's passing, and Spenny plays some audio that he spliced together as homage to the late actor. R.I.P. to Kevin Conroy. I'm sad as I type this.
Anyway, bye.
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On today's CJ is Fat, our daily food segment, CJ has beef with famous fast food joint Wendy's. Why? Well, you'll just have to listen!! But it might have something to do with their new peppermint Frosty.
Today's Nerd Report involves a two-part segment, wherein our friend Emily poses the question: what TV show would you pick to completely forget about so you could watch it all over again?
And on Parent Pickup Matt poses the question - what if your kids aren't ready for college? We discuss different techniques on coping with expectations as a parent, solutions for college-averse kids, and share personal stories about how some of us finished our college degrees at a much later age. Everybody's different, after all. We all grow at slightly different speeds.
Okay, that's enough. Enjoy the show. Goodbye.
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Does Emily have a sexual attraction to clowns? Well, no, but she has noticed an uptick in the amount of clown costumes during Halloween this year with seemingly no connection. We discuss the strange observation on today's Social Cues.
CJ doesn't know if he wants to travel or stay home for his upcoming holiday time-off, and it's been bothering him. On today's Group Therapythe whole gang puts their heads together to help CJ worry a bit less on the decision making.
And how do you feel about personal commuter pods? Matt Bearden reports that Honda is designing driving pods for single users. These pods communicate with other pods so as not to bump into one another, and it could be the future of commuting in areas where public transportation or cycling isn't as viable. They're self-driving too, so you can take it easy in your own personal cubicle. Check out the details in today's Weird or Wired.
Okay, bye.
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CJ and Spenny go through the list of 90s and early 2000s bands that have been added to a new festival lineup taking place in Las Vegas. The fest is called Sick New World, and it features the likes of System of a Down, Incubus, Deftones, Korn, and many more acts that got their start during that era. Plus several other acts that seem out of place. Who are CJ and Spenny's top five bands they'd choose to see if they attended? LISTEN. FIND OUT.
We talk periods today on Social Cues, so if that freaks you out, then here's your warning, you blood-averse person, you. Emily brings to our attention a woman who went around interviewing average men on what they know about the menstrual cycle. Unsurprisingly, many men have no idea how a vagina works, let alone what a period is.
And Matt comes in to discuss parental stuff again on today's Parent Pickup. Today's topic? Letting your kid get frustrated. Just let it happen! They need to know how to cope with these emotions in order to be better prepared for the real world after childhood.
Okay, bye.
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Emily went "off the grid" this past weekend, and she loved it. Listen to her discuss her methods on today's Emily Explains It All! Our showrunner CJ also has his own methods for going off-grid. He'll explain them as well. LISTEN.
A new cancer screening test is in the works, but it's pretty expensive. Matt Bearden reports in today's Weird or Wiredthat there's a lot of promise for these new tests, and hopefully they'll be getting cheaper in the very near future as more of them are manufactured and put to use. JUST LISTEN.
And a poor woman is being evicted from her apartment for smoking legally obtained cannabis here in the state of Texas. Get educated on the laws as CJ and Spenny discuss this ordeal in today's People Behaving Badly. PLEASE JUST LISTEN.
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WARNING: THIS PODCAST WAS TAKEN FROM A HYBRID SHOW, CONSISTING OF BOTH LIVE/NEW CONTENT AND RERUNS. DON'T WORRY, I REMOVED THE RERUN CONTENT. YOU CAN LISTEN TO ANY OF IT ON OUR PREVIOUS PODCASTS.
OKAY, BYE, HAVE FUN.
Emily has had a persistent cough since attending ACL. Should she get it checked on by a doctor?
Okay, there's more, but I'm uploading this on my weekend off and don't feel like taking the extra five minutes to type out a description for you. Listen and enjoy.
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WARNING: OUR LOGGER AT WORK GLITCHED OUT, SO WE ARE MISSING A FEW SEGMENTS FROM THIS EPISODE. GET OVER IT. THIS IS 100% FREE. DON'T COMPLAIN.ALSO, SPENNY GOT SICK AND WENT HOME EARLY, SO WE COULDN'T GET THE PODCAST UP SOONER. SORRY NOT SORRY. HE'S A BEAUTIFUL MAN, AND WE CAN'T HAVE HIM SPREADING ILLNESS AROUND THE BUILDING.
THAT BEING SAID/YELLED, ENJOY THE (LATE, PARTIAL) EPISODE.
NO, I WILL NOT TELL YOU WHY THE TITLE IS 'BIRD SEX.' LISTEN AND FIND OUT.
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The best Birria in Austin? We think so!
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Every week the four members of the CJ Morgan Show challenge each other in a game of pop-culture wit. We are each experts in something and clueless in other things. Thursdays at 430 a challenger takes on an expert in a subject of their choosing, delivering a summary of said item with something false hidden within (basically two truths and a lie).
The winner scores five points while the onlookers get to bet on their favorite before the summary is read (worth 3 points) or afterwards (worth 1 point). Sound confusing? Well, just listen to the bit instead.
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Emily wants to know if dudes have "standing pants." What are those? Well, apparently ladies own pairs of pants that look good, but they're only comfortable when you're standing in 'em. When you sit down? Pain. Nothing but pain (and fabulous fashion). Dudes don't necessarily have standing pants, but we do have strategies for making our nice but painful pants work well. CJ and Spenny explain their pants, and Emily explains the reason why she has trouble when it comes to finding a good pair.
Oh, also bananas might save all of our lives. Matt says science has discovered a protein in 'nanners that could help fight all COVID strains, as well as other common illnesses and a particularly super-resistant bacteria that often haunts hospitals. Learn more in today's Weird or Wired.
Group Therapyis today too, and we try to figure out how to cope with the anxiety that can occur when you're in a good mood but worried about the eventual decline in said mood.
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On today's Social Cues Emily brings us a vid of a daughter harassing her mother to get rid of her old music CDs, thus starting the debate - should you get rid of your old tech? We think you shouldn't necessarily get rid of something because it's no longer relevant. Sometimes good memories are far more important than being technologically relevant. What do you think? @TheCJMorgan
There's more. Listen in to see what's here.
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Happy Halloween, you gorgeous animal. Enjoy this special Halloween episode featuring a special Did You Know and other segments featuring fun Halloween facts (and factoids).
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Comedian Ron Funches calls into the show today for a fun interview. We talk to him about his voice acting work which includes many great shows like Bojack Horseman, Adventure Time, and Harley Quinn. We also briefly talk video games, since Funches is an avid gamer. He'll be at Cap City Comedy club all weekend long (as of this posting).
There's more. We have fun here. Check it out. Another version of Edit or Bet Itis on today's episode. Do we have an argument this time? FIND OUT
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Today we invite Matthew, inventor and OG chef from Bad Larry Burger Club, into the studio! It's a fun interview. Check it out.
Matt Bearden has news about high speed Internet that's in the works.
Emily Did You Know'd one of our coworkers. Find out why.
And Spenny got into a Twitter beef with CJ and Matt about grammar.
The end. There's more, but it's in the episode. Check it out.
Bye.
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Comedian and friend (and CJ's fiancé) Lisa Friedrich stops by the show today to discuss her new comedy show and play a game with Spenny and CJ. Lisa's newly adopted show, the Comedy Séance,has been active for about 20 years here in town. Comedians and actors perform as a deceased celebrity for your amusement. That's the gist. Google the show name or check Cap City Comedy Club out for more details.
Emily lets us know that famous YouTuber Markiplier will be starting an OnlyFans after an online bet with fans, and now this has also got CJ wondering if he should start up his OnlyFans account as well.
And Matt must endure yet another one of CJ's curveballs in today's Sports Bet segment. We get the results from last week's round of betting, but our glorious host has thrown yet another factor into the mix. Check it out on today's episode.
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Did You Know that it's illegal to kick the ball during a volleyball game? Learn about that AND MORE FUN FACTS during today's Did You Knowsegment.
CJ almost got kicked out of the Austin FC match this past weekend, so stick around for that exciting story. Turns out, no alcohol was involved.
We check in with Emily, who has been having a difficult time recently. What's the trouble, exactly? Oh, well, she's been invited to way too many Halloween parties. Is this a humble brag? What the hell? Hear about this uniquely unrelatable experience in today's Leftovers.
And do you like the sound of A.I. generated social media influencers? Yuck. We don't, but you can learn more about them from our friend Matt as we discuss the technology in today's Weird or Wired.
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We have fun here on this show. That's why we had our friend and comedian Angelina Martin back on the show to tell us about her new local stand up comedy show. It's called Good Time Club, and it features the best of the Austin comedy scene. Check details to the first show here, (or search Event Brite if you can't click the link) and keep an eye out for future shows. Looks to be a weekly thing while the season lasts.
Anyway, also on today's episode:
CJ has some frustration to vent about the IRS, and he's upset that his recent Best Burgers poll on Twitter didn't get enough love. Show him some love on Twitter (@TheCJMorgan).
Matt talks about cussing at kids. Just do it, he says. It's all fun and games. Okay, maybe that's not entirely true. Check out today's Parent Pickup for the details.
Emily was alarmed by how quickly an Amazon Prime delivery appeared on her doorstep. Is there a mystery afoot? Or is Amazon just that speedy?
And Spenny's here too. Say hi, Spenny.
Hi there.
Alright, enjoy the episode. Bye.
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Look, the title of this episode is a reference to something we discuss in our Did You Know segment today. Just trust that it's worth a listen. I promise.
CJ celebrates the sports equinox and wonders about arachnid reproduction. Matt discovers newly found research about ancient Neanderthals and their social habits. Emily worries that her penchant for planning events might have embarrassed her recently. And Spenny may have just pissed everyone off in this week's Edit or Bet It game.
There. That's succinct as hell. Enjoy the episode!
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According to research, setting aside "special time" for your children can be a good thing for them. What is this "special time", you might be asking? Well, let our friend and parent Matt Bearden tell you in today's Parent Pickup. It's sexier than you think.
Wait, no. It's not. Just ignore me.
Anyway, Emily has been living her best life recently by going to "rich people events." What does this entail? Well, yikes, calm down. You can listen to Emily regale her life over the past few weeks in today's episode.
And CJ has lost a gauze strip that he's supposed to pack into his recent open wound daily (gross, I know). Where did this gauze go? Is it stuck really far up in that disgusting arm hole? Or did he lose it in the middle of his sleep? Where will CJ's next wacky adventure take him!?
Find out...on the next episode of The CJ Morgan Show! I hope.
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CJ and Spenny have a grudge against whoever deemed today National Clean Shaven Day.
Emily wants to camp, but she's worried about melting or freezing during this time of the year.
And Matt must endure more of CJ's antics during the Sports Bet today. CJ even wagers a new tiebreaker, but will Matt accept?
Listen, dang it.
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The CJ Morgan Show is back, baby!!
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Today we take a look at the new Super Mario Bros. animated film teaser trailer (wow, what a mouthful!). Spenny has been following the development of this film since its announcement, and despite hesitation about the film studio producing it, he's still excited to see what the trailer holds. Listen to today's Nerd Report for a little audio and some discussion on the dang thing.
What is Matter? No, this isn't some existential or scientific quandary. Matter is a new app that is attempting to combine all of your automation apps (like Alexa, OK Google, etc) to get them all to communicate and work together. In today's Weird or Wired Matt explores the tech and how it might be a blessing to those of us who've tried implementing tech into our homes to no avail.
And Emily has been trying to get into meal prepping, but she's finding it difficult to stay motivated. This week, though, she was actually successful in executing some meals!! Listen in for her advice in how she got started, as well as her recipe advice for what she actually did prep. It's got me (Spenny, writer/producer) personally excited to start my own meal prep, at least for one meal out of the day. That's all in today's Leftovers segment.
Okay, bye.
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Another one of Emily's social inventions involves the color red. During Red Day, you wear all red, eat all red stuff, and, well, do anything you can involving red. Then you meet at a party with all your other friends. Those are the basics anyway. Listen to Em discuss the details on today's Leftovers. Is Red Day another potential holiday like her Gumbo Giving? I DON'T KNOW STOP ASKING ME HARD QUESTIONS.
Today's Group Therapy explores our friend Matt's recent loss of passion in his hobbies. What's a person to do when everything they once enjoyed spending their time on suddenly becomes uninteresting? Is it depression? Or does he just need something else to focus his time on for a little bit so he can renew his interests? We explore this very real, very relatable topic on today's episode.
And who will win the Taco Bell revival competition? You can download Taco Bell's app and vote for which one you'd like to return to the menu. This isn't an ad, by the way. It's full out war. CJ and Spenny have both chosen their respective sides in this debate. Who will win? Team Enchirito? Or Team Double Decker?
In the end, we all lose as Taco Bell deprives us of the things we love.
K, bye.
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Our friend Emily was awarded a strange social media award recently. And by award, we mean her picture is now archived in a group called "Hook 'Em Hotties!" This is a place for cuties of all ages to be showcased, I suppose, as being an attractive UT alumni. Congratulations, Emily! Learn about this weird experience during Emily's Social Cuessegment.
We also talk Halloween horror, the TV show Community getting a movie, the best day drinking spots in Austin based on your profession, and how to decipher between fake Twitter posts and screenshots.
All that and more on today's episode. Sorry, we forgot to do an intro. I hope the theme song is good enough. Alright, bye.
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Today we discuss the various candies you might come across on Halloween. On today's CJ is Fat we go through a comprehensive list of candies that are likely to get your house pranked by unhappy Trick-or-Treaters. And in today's Clickbait Corner we discuss some of the elite candies that should be in every Halloween basket by the end of the evening. Listen in, and let's get some candy, baby.
We also invite our friend and comedian JT Habersaat to the show. Dude is known for many things comedy-wise, including the Altercation Comedy Fest, which is coming to town in October. It's four full days of comedy insanity with many famous touring comedians, as well as some of our favorites from here in Austin. Check out more info here.
Alright, what else? CJ has a big dinner tonight with his boo, but he's been starving himself most of the day so he'll "get his money's worth". Emily is feeling guilty because her parents drove into town, and she didn't meet up with them. Spenny is super excited for an upcoming TV show that's based on one of his favorite video games. And Matt is always up to date on the new, cutting edge technology - like the Metaverse in today's episode.
Plus, Matt's got a teen comedy recommendation that can be found on Netflix. Dude is always hip with what the kids are doing. Mostly because he has kids, though.
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Flying cars are on the way to a consumer like you in the next few years. Listen in to today's Weird or Wired where our friend Matt dishes out all the tech info on this wonderful news.
We discuss the new Olivia Wilde film Don't Worry Darling, and how it's apparently kinda crappy? That's what critics claim, at least. Listen in for our gossip on the film and its stars on today's Nerd Report.
And today is National Beer Day! We talk about it in this episode, of course, but right now? I'm going to celebrate.
Bye.
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Oh my, what is this? Emily has created a new holiday? Well, let's listen in and learn more about it on today's Emily Explains It All. You might have already guessed, but it involves the delicious Cajun culinary staple known as gumbo. And friendship. There's some friendship in there too.
CJ has decided to switch up his Halloween routine this year by watching different movies than he usually does. But what genre of horror film is he delving into? The late-90s/early-2000s slasher revival film! Films like I Know What You Did Last Summer, Scream, and others from around that era that aren't specifically slashers (like Robert Rodriguez's The Faculty). Sounds like it's gonna be one heck of a good time.
And on today's Parent Pickup, Matt discusses many life lessons we all wish we had been warned about before leaving high school. This isn't specifically about stuff we wish we learned in school, like baking or learning how to file taxes, but more so about the realities everyone faces after leaving the safety net that is schooling in America. It's a tough topic we can all relate to, and maybe it will be a good idea to tell future generations of teens what they can realistically expect.
Who knows. Oh, well, whatever. Bye.
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No, it's not a thematically appropriate title for an encroaching October holiday. Ghost kitchens are fake restaurants that establishments open in order to both utilize their extra office/kitchen spaces, as well as con you into thinking they're a different establishment altogether. Well, CJ actually had a nice experience while doing carryout at a restaurant he didn't realize was a "ghost kitchen." Listen in for the full story on today's CJ is Fat.
Emily cried for the first time at a concert over the weekend, Matt has discovered that vaping can be seriously harmful to your lungs, and Spenny learns a lot about bodily fluids. Apparently holding your car clicker/FOB closer to your chin helps the range? Because of all the sweet organ juice in your head and face. Sounds like nonsense to me. Check out Did You Knowfor more fun facts.
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Today Emily reveals that her recent neighbor friend has been acting different since we first heard about him earlier this week. Is he stalking her now? Well, not quite, but the real reason is a bit more cringeworthy. Find out more as we laugh and lament on today's Leftovers, the segment where Em shares stories she doesn't mention on her morning show.
We also invite our friends from the Texas Roller Derby to the studio for a brief interview and a fun game! Blocktoberfest is back in action, so you'll want to check it out. Come support our local derby ladies! Check out the details about Texas Roller Derby here. Find those event details as well!
There's more, but, come on, it's Friday for me. I want to leave. I want to go home. I want to sleep. Just listen to the episode. What are you doing wandering this far into the description? Did you decide you wanted to read instead of listen to something? By all means, go ahead. But come back and listen to this episode. It's fun and informative.
Okay, bye.
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Matt saw one of the new robot taxis that are operation around town, and he's got some feelings about it. Listen to the technology and find out exactly how Weird or Wired these new robot taxis are in today's tech segment. It's called Weird or Wired. Did I word this weirdly? WHATEVER.
Emily recently had a bizarre experience in the small, Texas town of Smithville - find out more on Em's Leftovers. CJ might have found the single most annoying airplane experience ever - find out more on today's People Behaving Badly.And Spenny quizzes CJ on how well he knows our state capitals.
We also unveil the new game Edit or Bet It. You'll have to listen in for the rules, as I'm way too tired to write them all out here. It's fun. You'll see. We'll take topic suggestions for this new game @TheCJMorgan once you listen to the rules.
Okay, bye bye.
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On today's Clickbait Corner Emily brought in a list exploring Halloween costume predictions for this year. Usually on Clickbait Cornerwe find plenty of things to argue about with the lists, but this time? Well, we think it's a pretty accurate prediction of potential costumes.
Matt has some bad news regarding how crazy artificial intelligence has become on today's Weird or Wired, Emily has been having a cute relationship with her neighbor recently on today's Leftovers,and CJ is furious about the media spin concerning a story about people boiling chicken in Nyquil on today's People Behaving Badly.
Also, Spenny went to Disney World recently, and he had a sad day that he wants to explore in today's Group Therapy. Will it be relatable? Will it be understandable? Or is he just a sad sack who can't have fun doing anything? Is he even having fun typing out this description that he's been ordered to type by his domineering boss CJ Morgan? What is fun, anyway?
Okay then. Goodbye.
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Is cooking chicken in Nyquil cough syrup the next big viral trend? Well, the news media seems to think so. But we here at The CJ Morgan show? Not so much. Listen in to today's People Behaving Badly to find out more.
Matt discusses magnetic cars in today's Weird or Wired, and it's way less cool than it sounds. Are you thinking of magnets that propel your vehicle down a specially created, magnetized road? Well, you're wrong. Listen in to find out just how wrong you are (even though you should be right because this would be so cool).
And Emily had a couple of firsts this recently. She went to her first UT game and gives us a recap on what stadium foods she enjoyed. And she won her first Fantasy Football game. Lots of milestones for our resident young friend of the show! Check out today's Emily Explains It Alland Em's Leftoversfor more of those sweet details.
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Our boy Spenny has returned from his week long foray into the wastes of Orlando, Florida for some theme parkin'. How did his Disney World adventure go? Find out in today's Nerd Report.
CJ took Emily to her first UT football game, and she enjoyed herself. So why is CJ a little upset with her? Well, as usual with him, it involves food. Listen in to Emily's Leftovers today to find out more.
And we learn that cannabis does not make you lazy, it only makes lazy people lazier. Apparently ambitious people, or those somewhere in-between go-getter and couch potato, seem to do just fine with cannabis. It's those couch potatoes you've got to worry about, especially when you're raising them up to be grown-ass adults. In today's Parent Pickup our friend Matt gives us the scoop.
Alright, bye.
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Big sports bet controversy on today's show. And other stuff too.
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During group therapy we discuss FOMO and how to avoid it.
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How does Emily avoid the void?
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Worst sports weekend every? Yeah.
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Today we welcome to the show our friend and funny person Angelina Martin, who is responsible for a variety of local comedy shows around ATX. We talk about her recent show, which is a mystical comedy show that takes place every month during a full moon! Listen to our interview on the episode, and follow her @angelinajmartin where you can find info on all her shows around town.
There's more, but I'm tired and ready for this vacation to get started. See you in a week.
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Who will be the Sauce Boss on today's episode!? We invite our friend Sarah from The Austin Chronicle to challenge us to a hot sauce tasting in preparation for the Austin Chronicle Hot Sauce Festival taking place this weekend. Who will be able to withstand all the heat until the very end? Will CJ throw up? Will Spenny win like he claims? Or will Emily's competitiveness bring her to victory? FIND OUT BY LISTENING OKAY GOSH.
There's more. There's always more. Just listen. Come on. Do it.
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We recently started up our workplace Fantasy Football league here at the radio ranch! Our Captain CJ Morgan usually runs the whole ordeal, so he's been involved for a long time, but we also invited a newcomer - our friend Emily - to join the league! Yesterday was the draft day (or something, I don't know, I don't play this stuff either), and how did Emily do? We rate her team based on her choices in today's Nerd Report.
Apparently the cast of the upcoming film Don't Worry Darling has some behind-the-scenes beef that we're all curious about. Emily reports in today's Social Cues that musician Harry Styles may have beef with his costar Chris Pine, and also that lead star Florence Pugh might have qualms with the director Olivia Wilde. Whatever. It's just rich people drama at this point, but damn it if it isn't fun to watch!
Also, the whole gang gets involved in today's segment of Group Therapy after CJ asks for help keeping his fiancé around. Apparently he did something really inconsiderate after she came home from a long work trip. Listen to today's Therapy session to find out.
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On today's CJ is Fat, we discuss Austin Restaurant Week and all of its offerings! The event lasts until 9-11 this year, and you can find special deals all around Austin by various local restaurants. Proceeds will go to help the Central Texas Food Bank, which is an excellent resource for those of us in need.
Also, we learn that CJ eats his clams separate from his pasta when he orders a seafood dish at Italian restaurants. You're supposed to mix 'em together, bro. Come on!
Emily took her friend to an anime convention recently, as she had never been before. On today's Emily Explains It All you can learn all the tips and tricks for attending an anime (or other nerd-related) convention and what to expect. Plus, Em realized something important about herself on this trip. Find out what BY LISTENING COME ON YOU GET THE IDEA.
Also, what the hell? Matt Bearden mentions something about robot insects? Find out more in today's Weird or Wired.
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We learn a fun fact about President Grover Cleveland on today's Did You Know. Maybe you can guess based on this episode's title? Maybe not. Just check out our daily fact-finding missions on every episode.
Matt informs us that ADIDAS has made a new type of wireless earbud that can be charged by light. Not just light from the sun, but anylight. Hell, maybe even your dim phone light while you doomscroll before falling asleep. Check out our Weird or Wiredsegment today to find out more info on this cool new product.
And Emily suspects she might have been a dumb child. We disagree, but she did happen to misinterpret a creepy relationship in one of her favorite childhood movies. Find out what movie she's talking about in Emily's Leftovers, where we discuss stuff she doesn't bother to bring in for her morning show.
ok bye
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CJ tried breakfast pizza recently thanks to our friend Emily. We're not talking about eating regular pizza for breakfast - no no no. We're discussing pizza designed to be eaten forbreakfast. That means egg is involved. Bacon. Biscuit crust. And more stuff. CJ went into this taste test already hating the idea, so listen in to today's CJ is Fatto see if sampling the product was good for his taste buds.
Emily recently rediscovered her love of wine. She used to drink when she was in college, but now that she's a bona fide adult she has yet to imbibe the grapey fluid. Well, that is, until recently. Listen in on how she likes to enjoy a nice glass of red or white on Emily's Leftovers.
And teenagers are becoming increasingly confused when it comes to discerning between real and fake news sources online. Matt Bearden reports in today's Parent Pickup, but don't worry. He's got all the facts you need to know with a few solutions to help parents talk with their teens about such a troubling, modern day phenomenon.
ok bye
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On today's Social Cues Emily highlights a TikToker who makes sandwiches for lunch every day by rolling a 10-sided die, a die commonly associated with the game Dungeons & Dragons. It's not all deliciousness all the time, though, as there are many possible combinations ranging from the savory to the sweet. Check it out!
More topics on today's episode:
- emergency funds (how much do you need!?)
- Jennette McCurdy's memoir
- new air conditioning technology is in the works
- there is a word called 'pannus' - find out what it means!
- ALL THAT AND MORE
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On today's Social Cues Emily highlights a recent favorite of ours, the boy who loves corn. He appeared on a social media channel called Recess Therapy, wherein a host playfully interviews young children on the playground. This boy took the Internet world by storm with his strong devotion to the yellow treat, and now he's got an official song on TikTok and even stars in a commercial for Chipotle.
Matt tells us all about new advancements in cancer treatment that may eventually help completely rid us of certain, more extreme types of cancer. Usually it's the type of cancer that spreads more quickly than "standard" cancers, but regardless, anything that can help fight against it is good news. Listen to today's Weird or Wiredto learn more.
And did CJ and Spenny miss out this year by ignoring the MTV VMAs? Emily highlights some of the best events from this year's awards ceremony, but overall she thought it wasn't really worth wasting most of your time on. Listen in for a fun recap.
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It's exactly how it sounds. There is going to be a Shrek themed rave coming to town in the next couple months, and our friend Emily is considering attending. Since we're a radio show that needs daily content, we highly encourage her to attend. Em hasn't made up her mind quite yet, and in the middle of researching the rave CJ accidentally plays a ridiculous video. So, maybe it's not the best encouragement? But still. We need pics from this rave, at the very least! If you plan on attending, let us know @TheCJMorgan on socials.
We highlight National Dog Day on Today is the Greatest and celebrate by talking about our favorite pooches - Miss Pickles and Mister President (AKA Mr. P). We also revisit a song Spenny made about the lovely pups. Celebrate your dogs along with us! Dogs are the best!
And what does a black hole sound like? Scientists have finally been able to determine this, and we take a listen on today's Weird or Wired courtesy of Matt Bearden, who scoured the Internet to find the audio.
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Our dear friend Emily recently suffered through a breakup. She handled things quite well, that is, until shortly after the final conversation happened. According to her, she did something a bit petty. Listen in to see how petty this pettiness was!
CJ has some complaints about a local Texas newspaper that fired shots at Austin recently by writing about how our fair city hosts the worst-rated Whataburgers in the entire state. Now, the data is technically true - Google Reviews were compiled, and Austin had the worst-rated reviews for the homegrown restaurant. But the newspaper that printed this article comes from a particular city that has long held a rivalry with Austin. Find out more in today's CJ is Fat.
And is cable becoming cool again? Matt speculates in today's Weird or Wired after many from Gen Z are gravitating toward the wonderful world of "free" network television. Technology is weird.
Ok bye.
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Did you ever have a Slap Ass Day? According to a poll, only half of people remember participating in a "slap ass day" at school in their youth. Today Emily takes it upon herself to educate us on this strange occurrence.
In today's Weird or Wired Matt reports that Amazon is buying up healthcare services in order to give us cheaper healthcare. Is this a good or a bad thing? Cheap healthcare sounds pretty good right about now. But doesn't Amazon own almost everything nowadays? How is that good? Listen to Matt weigh this one out.
And is our producer Spenny getting a little too friendly with a competing morning show? CJ seems to be a little jealous. LISTEN IN AND FIND OUT.
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A new company called Boom is looking to make supersonic flights available commercially. Today on Weird or Wired Matt explores how cool of an idea it would be to take a flight overseas for lunch and be back home in only a matter of hours. Listen in for details.
CJ is excited to have the house all to himself for the weekend, and he plans on living up that good single life. That means no shirt, no rules, and more importantly nobody to tell him what to do. He plans to play Red Dead Redemption 2 and chow down on junk food, but we'll see how that goes on the next episode.
We invite our friend and comedian Avery Moore to the show along with comedian Jake Rowe, who admits he's never done a radio interview before. We do a good job hazing him, though, as we put him to the test with our Contest of Influencers competition. Can he make a last-minute advertisement for a local business? And get paid for it!? Avery herself is proof that it's possible! Listen and find out, ya goof.
Also, CJ, Emily, and Spenny all discuss their ideal "dream blunt rotation" or, in other words, the circle of friends, family, or famous things they'd like to share some weed and conversation with if they could. CJ's list is pretty standard, Spenny's is very heartwarming, but Em may have won for best Blunt Rotation circle with her cleverly crafted clique. Who would you put in your Dream Blunt Rotation? Tell us @TheCJMorgan
Okay, bye.
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Your doctor isn't supposed to cry, right? Well, Emily shares a story with us on how she recently made hers cry. It's a little uncomfortable, so strap in!
Matt and CJ compete in a hockey style shootout to conclude this week's sports betting session. Listen (and then watch on 10X.com) to the mayhem.
And we take a look at a dude who received some free weed in his Door Dash delivery. That's on today's People Behaving Badly.
Wow, what a short description! I like it! I think I'll keep it like this.
Okay, bye.
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Was CJ being a "stage mom" last night? His future wife did a stand-up comedy performance, and she unfortunately did not advance to the next stage of this specific comedy competition. CJ thinks he might have been a bit hard on her after the show, much like the stage mothers of those weird kids' pageants for young girls. Emily and Spenny give their thoughts, but what do you think? Let @TheCJMorgan know. Was he a Stage Mom?
We finally settle the debate about which talk show should get Emily's "thirst trap" pictures for their own benefit. Should it be the morning show? Or our afternoon show here? Emily joins us for a discussion, and we read the results of the poll that you, dear listener, were invited to vote on.
And Matt Bearden wows us with a new discovery in pig products on today's Weird or Wired. Pig products, you say? Well, a byproduct of processing pigs for eating is surprisingly efficient at rejuvenating old and damaged corneas in humans. I believe it is some collagen product or something along those lines (I forget, please listen to Matt explain it instead), but this pig "byproduct" can be injected into the human cornea (part of the eye, dingus) in order to aid in strengthening and repairing. It sounds pretty cool. Matt's got the science stuff, so listen in for that.
Okay, bye.
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Uh, no, it's not how it sounds. Well, maybe it is. According to CJ, on today's Did You Know segment we learn that the official unit of measurement for one million years is called 'megaanus'. I'm going to do some investigating on this, because I don't believe it's true based on my knowledge of Latin and English prefixes/suffixes (I'm a nerd, shut up, get over it). Regardless, we got a great title for the episode out of it!
Matt takes a look at the science behind electromagnetism in today's Weird or Wired segment. Some folks online are concerned that the earth's north and south magnetic poles are going to flip sometime in our lifetime, which is an occurrence that has been predicted to happen. It's also not just a simple flip, but it will change the way nature operates to some degree. Kinda scary? Yeah, sure. Change can be wild, but Matt assures us that actual scientists are studying this and claim that we won't see a polar flip for many, many centuries. I guess online armchair scientists maybe don't know what they're talking about? Go figure.
And we have a slight rivalry with our morning show here on 101X. Our jobs as radio hosts is to entertain you and to guide you to our website (101x.com) so we can collect various metrics of analysis and calculate our reach/influence/ratings. Boring stuff like that. Anyway, back to the rivalry thing - our friend Emily is on both shows, actually - our morning show and here in the afternoon on The CJ Morgan Show. Today CJ poses the question: "Who gets first rights to Emily's thirst trap photos?"
The obvious answer is Emily, of course. But who will win the fight to keep her most exciting content for their show? The debate continues when Em returns later this week.
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CJ and Spenny got up to some classic/traditional "shock jock" antics on last Friday's show, and that is kinda making them feel a little guilty. During a contest for a pair of My Chemical Romance tickets, CJ forced listeners to attempt to "convince Spence" to give them the prize. Spenny agreed when a young listener said she'd tattoo something on herself if she won. So, well, they gave her the tickets. Spenny argues that he was just doing what his boss asked of him (because I was, damn it!), but CJ still wants to shift blame. Who do you think is at fault?
Do you want to know what a person who has no knowledge on a topic but still gives their opinion is called? Well, we find that out (and more) on today's Did You Know.
And on today's People Behaving Badly, a local sportscaster uses a phrase that could easily fit into a sexier, more X-rated film production. When used normally, though, it doesn't sound that bad. Only someone with a perverted mind like CJ (or you) would even think that such phrasing could be used sexually. For shame. For shame! Check out what phrasing got such attention over the weekend on today's episode.
Alright, bye.
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On today's Weird or Wired we discuss how climate change is not only increasing temperatures throughout the day, but it's also reducing the earth's ability to cool down after the sun sets. Humans usually sleep during the night to cool down their bodies from the day before and build up their energy, and if the evenings continue to get hotter, not only will the earth suffer, our sleep hygiene will suffer as well. What does this have to do with the title "Walking Sharks?" Well, you'll find out. LISTEN.
Emily is tempted to flake on a party she agreed to attend and help organize, mostly because she found out a group of friends that now hate her are going to be there. What did Emily do to make them hate her!? Well, nothing, apparently. Another culprit is responsible for the smack talk, and he's going to be there as well. Is she in the right to flake on this party?
And will a listener be able to Convince Spence to give them tickets to an upcoming My Chemical Romance show? CJ introduces his new, half-formed idea for a contest where you, dear listener, must convince The CJ Morgan Show's trusted producer Spenny to give you something for free. The rules are thus: 1) No attempts to pull on our heartstrings - reasons given must be humorous, not guilt-driven, 2) No promises of alcoholic gifts, and 3) No promises of sexual favors (sorry, Spenny doesn't think you deserve free stuff and his delicate touch).
Check it out. Bye.
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Matt brought up an interesting story in today's Weird or Wiredconcerning a dude who programmed an app that will let you know if someone is spying on you. Huh. Cool. I guess nobody thought to make something like this before? Well, apparently not, because this dude made this program all by himself at home. DIY-style. Listen for more details on today's episode.
Emily is having trouble deciding on what to eat at work. Regular meal prep is a monotonous, tedious process. Ordering takeout every day is too expensive. How can we get poor, young Emily, who is stuck at work most of the day, to eat healthier and be prepared? Well, CJ may just have the solution.
Also, a new book set in the Star Wars universe will be coming out soon. It will involve Princess Leia and follow her adventures between the original trilogy up to the more recent trilogy. Sounds like it might be a good read, as it will also focus on her state of mind and what she went through following the revelation that Darth Vader was her father. And that he blew up her planet. Heavy stuff. I'm all for it. It's called Star Wars: The Princess and the Scoundrel, and it's written by Beth Revis.
CHECK IT OUT
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In this week's Group Therapy, the gang discusses Emily's recent "breakup" with her therapist. Apparently he was forced to resign following some heavy personal stuff, but now that leaves poor Emily looking for a potential new therapist. But, how do you handle a therapy cancellation? A psychiatrist breakup? A doctor dumping? Okay, that last one was a stretch. But CJ, Matt, and Spenny are all here to offer condolences, experiences, and solutions. Emily will be fine, though, right? RIGHT???
India is creating a new app that helps compile restaurants into a huge amalgamation. They're doing so in order to compete with all of the American and other foreign corporations that do business in their country while sucking out all of their civilians' hard earned rupees. Matt reports in today's Weird or Wired that this new app will connect you with smaller businesses as well, like Mom & Pop shops that might have cheaper deals but just aren't being utilized in the major delivery apps like DoorDash or Uber Eats because they can't afford the fees, overhead, or whatever demands these apps make. Sounds like a cool idea that could eventually make its way to America. Competition is great!
And AISD is aiming to put free menstrual products in its facilities. That's good news all around.
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Amazon sucks up even more competition in robotics with the purchase of iRobot and their well-established robot vacuum, the Roomba. On today's Weird or Wired we discuss how this might affect our privacy as Amazon continues to purchase more privacy-invasive products. They own security cams, doorbell cams, Alexa home-automation, and now Roomba. WHEN WILL THEY STOP!? We discuss.
Also, in Emily Explains It All, our friend Em sets out her rules for celebrating a friend's birthday. It doesn't have to be an actual party, nor does it need to be a perfectly unforgettable day. Just...celebrate your friend and help them have a nice day where they don't have to think about being older, or sad, or whatever negative emotion that some might associate with birthdays. CJ and Spenny chime in, with CJ being particularly excited to share his ideal birthday givings to friends and family.
And we discuss CJ's favorite college football mascots, and while it initially sounds a bit boring, I assure you it isn't. CJ has eclectic tastes, and he prefers the weird and wacky over the generic mascots you can see these days. Pull up Google (or your favorite search engine) and play along with Emily and Spenny as they're mystified by each choice in CJ's list.
Alright, bye.
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On a very special segment of Nerd Report, we discuss several lifehacks for coffee lovers. For example, if you love iced coffee, have you considered making coffee ice cubes to keep your iced coffee from getting too watered down? Yeah, that's the type of innovation we're talking about here. Check it out.
Emily attended her "J-Party" this past weekend, and she has updates for us! Apparently it was a lot of fun, and she revealed what her costume was, as well as her favorites and least favorites from friends and strangers alike.
And according to Matt Bearden, mobile phone app usage has increased all across the world during the past few years. Surely that has something to do with a worldwide pandemic or something, but, regardless, the fact remains the same. What does this mean for the world? Well, it's a mixed bag of good and bad, but you'll need to listen to our Weird or Wiredsegment to hear it for yourself.
Okay, bye.
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On today's Weird or Wired Matt discusses a proposed new calendar that will be roughly 364 days a year. All months will be evenly distributed, all holidays will land on the exact same day of the week every year, and every 5-7 years we all celebrate a "bonus week." We're all on board for an entire week of partying! Or just sleeping. Give us a bonus week! And learn more about the calendar in today's episode.
We also give Emily some ideas for costumes, as she's attending a J-themed party. The idea is that her costume needs to be related to the letter 'j'. Think "Joker" or a jester, or a Jello shot, or something along those lines. CJ and Spenny do their best to help.
Also, what's the deal with cancelling plans? What is acceptable? When is acceptable? CJ, Emily, and Spenny discuss.
Okay, bye.
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Today we invited Sam of Humorous Resources to the show to discuss their comedy/interview show. You can actually attend if you're looking for a job, and they'll interview you live in front of an audience for each particular business they're performing the show for. CJ does a quick interview and then has producer Spenny apply for work in a mock interview to illustrate how the process goes. They do plenty of shows a month, and you can check them out at @hrshowtx on Twitter and Instagram to see how they roll. We had fun. Punishment Plinko and drinking was involved.
We also learn from Emily about a Mom-style comic going around the memeverse, and how it may actually be passive aggressive jabs from the creator at her lazy husband.
And Matt talks with us about poop during Weird or Wired. Dung beetles are pretty cool it turns out.
k bye
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Did You Know that a pimp created the term "smart aleck", which is often used to describe someone who is being a wise ass? I just realized that I used another inventive term to describe what a smart aleck is. Whatever! We learned this today on Did You Knowbefore derailing into a discussion about CJ's shaky spelling.
Emily is attending a J-themed party, which means she needs to dress up as something related to the letter 'j'. CJ and Spenny have until the next episode to help her come up with ideas. Her costume needs to be easily identifiable, and she'd rather have a good range of motion during the event than an obvious costume like "jail cell" or "jack-in-the-box" which would require a ton of prep and be awkward as hell to wear around a small apartment. Anyway, if you've got some ideas, let us know @TheCJMorgan.
Matt and CJ also compete in a soccer-inspired competition to decide the winner of this week's Sports Bet. Who do you think is better with a soccer ball - Matt or CJ? And who do you think won in the end? YOU'LL FIND OUT IN THIS EPISODE OMG
Okay, bye
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We invite musician (and Austin rockstar) Emily Wolfe to the studio for some conversation, and we even got her to play our Contest of Influencers game. She randomly selected two businesses that CJ looked up and wrote some legitimate jingles for them in between our commercial breaks. Check 'em out! Go see her next show!
Our poor, young friend (and cohost!) Emily recently came across some info online concerning her ex-boyfriend that she had a pretty serious relationship with a few years ago. According to some of his posts, he's happily coupled up, moving into a new house, and going to medical school. A lot of feelings came rushing back to Em, and she needed all of our (elderly) advice to help cope with the uninvited, recent news. That's on this week's Group Therapysegment.
Also, Matt and Spenny are privileged to hear CJ's favorite LSD stories after our semi-educational segment Did You Knowwent a little, well, off topic. Do you have a favorite LSD story concerning a famous person? Let CJ know @TheCJMorgan on social media.
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Our humble producer Spenny (I'm writing this, lol @ "humble") had the Buzz Lightyear standalone film spoiled for him, but he says in this one instance it's actually a good thing. Some of the story beats did not appeal to him after things were spoiled, so he was relieved he didn't invest any time in the film. Have you had a similar experience? Feel free to let CJ know @TheCJMorgan.
Emily has been invited to THREE parties on the same day, and CJ cannot remember the last time he was invited to one. He and his friends continue to get older, life changes happen, families, kids, etc. So it gets harder to hang out when you're not young, fun, and full of energy. CJ and Spenny try to help Emily pick one party to attend, since she didn't think she could make it to all three. Do you agree with our decision? If not, oh well, so what. It happened already.
We also celebrate hot wings, ice cream, Hot Wheels monster trucks, and much more. Check it out.
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On today's Did You Know segment, the crew gets derailed after CJ mentions some, well, silly facts. That's what the segment is all about. This one in particular has friend Matt Bearden and producer Spenny a bit upset. In a good way, though. LISTEN.
Emily is considering doing home workouts and recommends a few different channels you can find on YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, etc.
CJ and Spenny celebrate National Chili Dog Day by listing the best restaurants in Austin to feature the beloved staple.
There's more, but I need to leave now. Okay, bye.
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Emily informs us of another trend that took off on TikTok, and it involves a Pepto-Bismol-looking sauce that a chef created for her own personal use. Once she shared it to TikTok, her followers wanted a taste, so she started selling it. Was it FDA approved? Do you need to shake it? Refrigerate it? Emily dives more into the story, but we're all disgusted by how it looks.
New battery technology is becoming available and - get this - it's battery tech that can help clean up radioactive decay by using it as a power source. Plus it can last for an unimaginably long time. Matt Bearden reports in today's Weird or Wired.
CJ and Spenny also take a look at the worst-rated ice cream brands across the nation. You might be surprised to find what ice cream is ranked the lowest.
That's all for now. Bye bye.
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Congratulations to our host CJ Morgan for accepting a new position with our newest radio station (ESPN 102.7)!! Don't worry, he'll still be doing this immature show about clickbait and genitals. BUT now you can catch him live from 11am-1pm doing sports talk with our show rival/friend at work Jason Dick . Listen in if you care about sports and other sports-related shenanigans. The new show starts August 1st! CONGRATULATIONS, CAPTAIN!
CJ, Emily, and Spenny broadcasted from Float Fest this past weekend in Gonzales, Texas. How did it go? Well, it was a bit of a mess on multiple levels, but it looked like a ton of people were also having fun. How did our three wonderful showrunners fare, though? Well, results were mixed.
And Matt Bearden reports that Meta will be changing Instagram to do mostly TikTok style videos. Most users are pretty upset. Among these users are the renowned Kardashians (don't pretend you haven't heard of them), who already love Instagram for the way it is currently. Will the Kardashians save the world and social media from Mark Zuckerberg's greedy changes? We can only hope.
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On today's CJ is Fat, we discover a job opening for a Canadian candy company that is hiring a professional taster. Yes. Candy. Tasting. And it pays $100K! Hell, I'd do it for free. The only downside is that the business is in Canada, and we don't know if they use real money there.
Emily shares with us a story from her horrible experience at a Float Fest of years past. She also has a show recommendation that you can find on Netflix, and the premise sounds pretty unique. It involves murder mystery too.
And Matt highlights the Classic Game Fest that is taking place in Austin this weekend, which sounds like a nice gathering for nerds and families alike. Also, how are NFT owners doing recently? Well, according to Matt - not good. Learn more in today's Weird or Wired.
Okay, bye.
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Everyone on this show is a huge fan of junk food, and on our segment Today is the Greatest we celebrate National Junk Food Day by discussing our favorite treats. We also eat some of our favorite treats thanks to a lovely listener (you know who you are, baby).
Emily also discusses dating in the modern era in Emily Explains It All, and we all get back into the debate about what emo music is. Certainly it's not Nickelback, right? No, it can't be.
And Matt tells us about a video game that people's cats are enamored by in today's Weird or Wired.
<3
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Today CJ and Spenny attempt to help Emily create a playlist for an upcoming emo-themed party she and friends are planning. Emily didn't grow up during the height of the emo music scene like CJ or Spen, so her playlist includes a lot of anomalies. This leads the three to discuss the history, meaning, and essence of emo music in general. Is lyrical content the only thing you consider when calling something emo? Or do you think only "screamo" counts like CJ believes? Does Spenny get to educate them on the actual history of emo since he knows way more than both of them combined? No, he's just the producer. Don't be silly!
Also, A.I. is getting way too advanced when it comes to catfishing people online. New A.I. can now create completely human-looking faces of people that don't actually exist. Matt explains the details and horrifying future we now live in on today's Weird or Wired.
And it's Hot Dog Day! Celebrate some wieners with CJ and Spenny, as they highlight some of the best places to get a hot dog in Austin and the surrounding area. That's on today's CJ is Fat.
Ok, bye.
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Today on Group Therapy the whole gang takes an online test to determine their mental maturity age. This test doesn't measure intelligence, only how mature you are for your age. What do you think CJ got? And our resident parent Matt Bearden? What about our youngest friend Emily? And producer/laugh-track Spenny? Hey, guess what? YOU'LL FIND OUT IF YOU LISTEN.
We also discuss table manners, advancements in antibiotics, world records involving hot dogs, Sonic The Hedgehog, and creepy dudes. There's more, but that's all I can remember off the top of my head!
JUST LISTEN! HURRY! TIME IS WASTING!
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Today we discuss the fine details about having roommates. Recently, Em's roomie tried to sell their shared couch, but Emily was able to stop her (for now). The couch technically belongs to her roommate, but is it something worth bringing to attention when it's a shared-space furniture or appliance? CJ, the so-called "Roommate Expert" lays down the commonly-accepted rules.
CJ's got some brand new toys to play with, and we check those out during Nerd Report. Emily is stoked that a certain emoji is coming to cell phones in the near future, and you can check that sweet info out in today's Clickbait Corner. And Matt has a swimming spot suggestion for our School's Outsegment, as well as a cool scientific advancement that pertains to eating when drunk. Oh, hell yes. Check out what he's brought to the table in today's Weird or Wired.
There's more, of course. Feast your ears upon this delightful episode.
<3
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Emily shares her Catholic school upbringing with CJ, and it's quite a wild ride. Some of you can relate, having been in a similar situation. But for those of us who haven't attended anything but public school, it sounds like a wild dream. Anyway, check it out.
We also discuss with Emily - when is the good time to DTR (aka "define the relationship"). Emily has been hanging out with a dude for the past couple of months, and she's worried the DTR talk is coming soon. This gives CJ an opportunity to tell the story of how he and his fiancé met, and it's actually quite endearing. Wait, what? The Captain? Sweet and endearing? I'm worried that CJ might secretly have a terminal illness since he's been maturing so much over the course of this show.
There's more. Listen in. You can do it!
And please forgive my delays. This is the last one I promise! -Spenny
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In today's Emily Explains it All Emily stands up to defend the all-too-often abused cockroach. What? Why? Emily, no, no, stop doing that. We all agreed to hate roaches. How dare you introduce facts and logic to the conversation. ROACHES SUCK! Anyway, listen and find out what she's on about.
And CJ welcomes an up-and-coming Austin band to the studio for a fun interview. Slow Pulse is the name! Check out their music anywhere you stream music, and listen in to this interview!
There's more. So much more. Just listen.
And sorry I'm so late. It's been a week. ~Spenny
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Apparently Emily likes little boys? Well, it's not how it sounds! We promise. Listen to Emily relive her experience with a young boy she was seated next to on her recent airplane adventure.
And did CJ get mustard on his pants at the Austin FC game? Answers await you in this sexy episode.
Forgive me for the delay, podcast fans! ~Spenny
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Should CJ trade in a gift from his fiance so that he can get a bigger, better LEGO set that he really wants? Emily and Spenny weigh in. What the heck do you think? Listen and let @TheCJMorgan know!
Also, why are most of us hoarding our old tech? You know that old cell phone you have that's tucked away somewhere. Or perhaps even an old video game console. Many of us are guilty! Matt Bearden explores the subject in today's Weird or Wired.
And on Today is the Greatest,nothing. Absolutely nothing. Don't believe me? Listen and find out. I DARE YOU.
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Oh, man, tons of fun stuff in today's episode. Researchers at MIT have considered putting giant "space bubbles" into orbit around Earth in order to assist in reflecting some of the sun's harmful UV rays away from us in an attempt to cool down the entire globe. Find out more in today's Weird or Wired.
Emily visited the Southeastern United States last week, and she even visited Dollywood! Listen to today's episode as we highlight her adventures in Dolly Parton's Tennessee theme park. What was Emily's favorite experience? You might be surprised.
And CJ is irritated by a habitual guitarist who has been playing at Barton Springs. Sure, it's one thing to play music quietly near your friend/family group, but crooning on and on in a public space? Is that rude? Or is CJ just jealous? Some people want to relax at the springs, take in the rays, and splash in that wetness. Others? Well, maybe their idea of relaxation is some nice, uninvited acoustic guitar playing. Feel free to weigh in @TheCJMorgan.
Okay, bye.
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Today we welcome the wildly hilarious comedian Leah Sampson to the show for a chat and some games. If you haven't heard of her yet, you're missing out. She headlines The Velv tonight (July 8, 2022) and Saturday (the 9th). Get your butt downtown and check her out. And get used to her face. You'll be seeing her a lot more in the future.
Today we talk about CJ's Lazer Tag shenanigans. It's also National Video Game Day, so we talk about our favorite games. It's also National Popsicle Day, so we discuss our favorite icy, phallic treats. Today is also the actual, factually correct Independence Day (when the Declaration was finally finished, ratified, signed, etc.). We discuss the history of the Liberty Bell and other fun stuff.
It's a fun Friday show. JUST LISTEN.
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PRODUCER NOTE: Slightly shorter episode today. Our friend Emily is off on vacation this week, so we've tried to include some of her older bits to keep her presence on the show while she's out. We also recorded a couple new ones with her in preparation for her vacation week. We've included those new segments in this episode, but we'v'e also removed the older segments you can hear on earlier podcast episodes. I HOPE YOU FREAKING UNDERSTAND! Anyway, on with the super descriptive synopsis of the episode:
Today is National Dive Bar Day, and we celebrate in our Today is the Greatestsegment by naming some of Austin's (and our own) favorite dive bars in the area. Did we leave any of your favorites out? To be fair to us, we only have about 5 minutes to discuss this. In reality, CJ and Spen could likely talk bars for 15-20 minutes. Whatever. These are the rules we must abide by as entertainers in this format.
Also, what is an e-tattoo? Matt Bearden has discovered a new technology in today's Weird or Wired that might help save somebody's life. And guess what? Two rival schools collaborated on this scientific endeavor together! Find out more on today's show.
Ok bye.
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CJ has been known to "half-ass" projects whenever he gets a creative urge. He likes to create and then be done with stuff as fast as possible. Turns out, that isn't the best approach to project completion. Am I being vague? Maybe. Is it so you'll listen to find out what I'm typing about? Possibly. Did CJ properly ventilate his house while spray painting his closet? ONLY THIS EPISODE KNOWS!
And Matt Bearden is back for another sports bet punishment, and this time he must be pelted with CJ's new toy/obsession - a gel gun. Does it hurt? Is it creamy? Why did I say that last part? Listen in and find out.
Also, Emily will return in a few episodes once her travel vlogging adventure has concluded.
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CJ reports on a little heartbreak he received over the July 4th weekend - nobody was diggin' on his dogs. He and some friends went to stay out of town in an Airbnb, and he decided on Independence Day to lay out a delightful spread of condiments, buns, and wieners. He prepped his dogs by starting with a running boil before finishing them atop the skillet for a little charring. Then he diced and prepared a plethora of condiments that work perfectly resting atop a delicious dog. He was excited to make an iconic American meal for his Australian friends who were visiting.
Unfortunately, things did not go as CJ had planned. Listen in as he laments during today's episode.
Also, he got a black eye. What a fun weekend! The full story's in this episode as well.
Okay, goodbye.
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According to science, moths can rub their genitals together to create a sound that can dampen or even block the sonar that bats use to locate their prey. I don't know about you, but that sounds pretty rad. Listen to our Did You Knowsegment today for more fun facts.
ATARI, the video game manufacturer, is releasing an anniversary collection. Matt Bearden joins us for his Weird or Wiredreport on what exactly is included and also to talk about how rad it is.
And our friend Emily has been watching a new, interesting show that she highly recommends. She also got pretty drunk this past weekend and wanted to share some audio she left on an admirer's voicemail. Check out her show review during today's Nerd Reportand hang out for her fun, drunken story.
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CJ's voice is shot today, and we find out why. Apparently he's been spending time with his little nephew who has come into town recently for a visit, and yesterday they spent a full day at a water park. CJ shares his story with Emily and Spenny about how weird it felt for him to finally, essentially, go full "dad mode." Will he be ready for kids when the time comes? No. Absolutely not. No parent is ready. Ever.
Our boy Matt Bearden joins us as we celebrate the anniversary of an invention that you're very likely holding in your hand right now on today's Weird or Wired segment.
And Emily is super excited that Avril Lavigne is returning to the music scene. Does the conspiracy that she has been replaced by a look-a-like have any merit? I don't know. We barely even discuss that. We're just stoked for more pop punk.
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Whoa now, that title is not exactly what it seems. Emily brought us shocking news today that the band The Killers is actually a Christian band. CJ, Em, and Spenny parse through the info and get to the bottom of this sudden revelation.
Spain is making solar power more accessible to us regular folks. You can find out more about this from our buddy Matt Bearden in today's Weird or Wired.
And an exciting new restaurant has come to Austin. Learn about its history, as well as its menu, during our daily food segment CJ is Fat.
That's it. There's more, but it's in the podcast. I'm done typing, baby. Enjoy!
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In this week's Emily Explains It All, CJ and Spenny learn about a phenomenon known only to women called "girl dates." Emily, our resident lady expert, describes the typical outline of a girl date, and even gives us an example. Does it involve lots of kissing? CJ seems to think so. Will it involve half naked pillow fights? Again, CJ also seems to think this. You'll be disappointed (or relieved) to find out that girl dates usually don't involve sexy affection. Emily claims that kisses and cuddles aren't necessarily forbidden, but girl dates are more about coming together and appreciating sisterhood, rather than hot lesbian kissing. Sorry, CJ.
Also, is the world ending? Some New Zealanders saw a crazy spectacle in the clouds a few days ago and were concerned that maybe it was a hole in the atmosphere or some other crazy celestial occurrence. Well, it's not quite as exciting as that, but Matt Bearden has the full scoop in today's Weird or Wired. HINT: it has something to do with Austin, Texas.
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Emily and Spenny endure a story about CJ's adventure to a shady strip mall massage parlor last night. Let's just say there was no happy ending here, except for the overall cost of the procedure itself.
Also, Matt announces a plan that Democrats have to unite us all as a people. It's technology-related, so you'll need to check out today's Weird or Wiredsegment for all the democratic details. Oh wow.
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In today's Weird or Wired,Matt brings up an issue very dear to our producer Spenny and other avid video-gamers out there - the growing presence of live service models masquerading as video games. Spenny thinks they're predatory and fly against the spirit of playing games in general, and Matt dishes out the details on a famous livestreamer who is taking a stand against the newest "live service" game Diablo: Immortal. Find out how much money this dude is calculated to have lost playing this "free-to-play" game.
Also, Emily is planning an apartment-warming party. This is her first big party since graduating college (and surviving COVID), so she reaches out to Spenny and our glorious Captain CJ Morgan for advice. Unbeknownst to Em, CJ has thrown many a party and crashed many more, so he's more than ready to give some tips. Perhaps you could use some as well? They're surprisingly level-headed, reasonable ideas for someone as wild and wacky as our host CJ.
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Emily has lost her secret swimming spot, and this is quite a tragedy with summer looming over us. The gang reminisces on their favorite swimming spots and lament the fact that almost all the secret Austin swimming spots have become overrun with, well, people who find out about it. IT'S NOT SECRET ANYMORE.
We have a fun time, CHECK US OUT.
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CJ, Emily, and Spenny have created their own "oddly specific playlists" for your listening pleasure. Check the episode to see what we mean.
Matt also highlights a fascinating scientific discovery in today's Weird or Wired,where scientists announce they've found many of the essential building blocks for life on an asteroid. And, get this, this asteroid never touched down on Earth at any point. That means much, if not all, the elements that come together to create life came from space somewhere. BUT WHERE!? We find absolutely no answers to this question, but we do have a ton of fun talking about space goo.
All of our fun daily segments are here if you missed 'em:
- Today is the Greatest
- School's Out For Summer: Parent Pickup (Summer Edition)
- CJ is Fat
- Sports Bet!
- Nerd Report
- DID YOU KNOW!?
- Clickbait Corner
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Apparently some people online have been recording themselves catcalling women in public, but it has a rather heartwarming twist to it. Emily brings to CJ and Spenny's attention that Polite Catcalling is a thing, at least for now, anyway. We watch some recorded examples, and CJ does his best to emulate the excellent compliments. God bless him, he tries so dang hard too. Wish him luck in this episode.
And Matt gets super excited about some new shower head technology that is very likely only going to end up in the houses of rich people. In today's Weird or Wired we take a look at the true rain shower head, which mimics the feeling of actual rain falling on you. It's crazy expensive, but it's also got Matt fantasizing about it nonstop. Listen in to hear about it. Maybe get one for yourself and review it for us? Maybe let us come over and use it once or twice? I don't know. You live your life however you want.
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The gang finally gets together all at once in order to have a session of Group Therapy in today's episode. That's right. Matt, Emily, Spenny, and, of course, CJ Morgan are here to tie it all together. The radio ranch has had to deal with a string of COVID illnesses and the subsequent absences that said disease requires you take from work. Matt's had it. Emily's had it. CJ's had it. But Spenny? He's still hanging on. Will he get COVID sometime soon from work? Or will it happen before a big event? Or is he getting COVID by sitting in a room full of recently sick people?
Emily also brings to Nerd Report a cool playlist generator for those of you looking to play some board games. This ranges from mainstream board games like Candyland and Monopoly to other more niche games like Settlers of Catan or - Emily's favorite - Ultimate Werewolf. Listen in as the gang picks a few of their favorite board games and discover what this website has in store for future game nights.
And Matt highlights the new electric tractors that have been developed in today's Weird or Wired. What's the big deal with an electric, battery-operated tractor? Well, it's not just electric. It's a smart tractor, which means it's more than just your standard replacement for gas-powered vehicles. It can collect crop data and do a ton of other useful stuff for the farming communities all across the world. Check out the details in today's episode.
Okay, bye.
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CJ reassembles The Dream Teamto address one of his seemingly mundane dreams. But! Not everything is as it seems. Emily and Spenny are on the case, and it turns out that dreaming about that one winning scratch-off ticket could mean something deeper about your feelings and personality. Also, a children's charity is involved. Had to mention that! It's in the title, after all.
We also determine which punishment Matt must receive after losing last week's Sports Bet. Did you vote for him to take a penalty kick to the bod? Or to receive some manner of violence against his dong? Listen and find out, you sadist.
And CJ really, really wants to stop doing Las Vegas vacations with his friends and pivot to Disney World vacations. Why would he do this? Why now? And how can he convince his friends? Emily and Spenny are here to help advise. You're always welcome to reach out too on our socials @JustMattandCJ.
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Apparently a TikTok vid that Emily made this weekend has been, in her words, "popping off." All she did was post a review of some earrings, and she already has over 30K views. What on earth did she do to earn so many views? Can you guess? Huh? Can you? What? Oh, come on. Read the title and reread this description. You should know this show by now!
Matt brings more attention to the A.I. artistry that CJ, Emily, and Spenny looked at last week. Apparently there are a ton of so-called "AI artists" that can design a variety of different picture types for ya. Listen to today's Weird or Wired to hear about some of the good ones Matt located this weekend.
And CJ has been having trouble with weeds in his yard. According to him, a weed flamethrower wasn't enough. His weeds have survived and grown back stronger than ever. All this time he hasn't been getting rid of his weeds, he's been conditioning them to withstand his abuse. What's a guy to do when he's exhausted all available options? Seriously, please help CJ. We're worried about him and his flamethrower. Hit him up at @TheCJMorgan with your gardening tips!
Oh, and Spenny is around. Just hangin'. Chillin', if you will. Shout out to Taco Palenque in Round Rock for the good coffee!
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In today's Nerd ReportCJ, Emily, and Spenny take a look at the A.I. artist called DALL-E. This particular A.I. will compile a collection of 9 pictures after you type in a specific prompt. Something like 'Kool-Aid Man shopping at Target' will get you pictures that mostly resemble what you requested. It's a bit blurry and looks like a surrealist or abstract style at times, but it's a ton of fun to look at weird art created by a computer as it searches the Internet for references of what you typed into it. Check out 101X.com and our blog for more fun pictures. Make your own and share 'em too!
Also, a very good boy in Austin is making unique strides. Lovely pup Kinley is nominated for the Best Service Dog award and is in the top 20 finalists in the country. This encouraged CJ to tell the story of how his old dog Miles saved him from choking to death several years ago. It's a heartwarming tale, and it's a very CJ tale as well. You'll know what I mean when you hear it.
There's more. There's always more. But you gotta listen.
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Emily explains that she's a little concerned about actor Austin Butler after his recent performance as Elvis Presley in that new biopic movie about the man himself. Apparently Austin has been talking in a deeper, more "Elvisy" voice in interviews. Listen in and be the judge yourself. Is this another case of Wannabe Syndrome? Or did portraying Elvis actually affect Butler in some way?
Also, CJ must shotgun some warm beverages today for our Sports Betpunishment. Watch (and listen) to him in all his glory as he attempts to beat his college record of 4 seconds.
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Today Emily discusses the return of the show Glee to streaming services. CJ and Spenny have never really watched the show, so she highlights what she loves most about the show: how tone deaf it is. Not musically, of course, but contextually. She highlights a few instances of how awkward the show was, and she even throws in some facts about the sordid affairs and untimely fates of some of the cast.
Also, Apple has announced a new innovation in their upcoming line of phones. CJ tackles the story in Weird or Wired. Text message editing is the topic of discussion. Is it a good thing? Will it be used for evil? Spenny has some concerns, and CJ gives advice for how to cover up an accidental text. Are we just being old and cranky anti-tech people?
Still no Matt today. Did you hear he has COVID? Well, he might. I don't know for sure. Maybe he's just sick of working with us.
Normally this is where I would clear my throat in awkward silence before moving on. But, nah. Not today. Today we linger on this horrible joke. Today we bathe in all of its mediocrity.
I don't know, whatever, I'm tired, and I gotta be up early. Is this good enough, CJ? Can I leave yet?
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Percussive maintenance refers to the act of hitting one of your electronic devices to get 'em working properly again. Yes. Apparently that's scientific! And it's accurate. According to CJ on today's Weird or Wired the act of lightly hitting your device can sometimes jostle electronic connections that have weakened back into place, granting you operating access, although temporary. It's usually a sign you need to repair or replace your thang, though, so keep that in mind. A few good taps can get it in working order for just a bit longer .
Speaking of hits, our friend Emily joins the show. She has a theory that CJ's recent weed flamethrower (backyard weed, not back-of-a-van weed) has become too much for him to handle. And, well, what does CJ think? His torching of the yard may not be going as well as he had hoped initially.
And Spenny's still hanging out, handling production issues and laughing appropriately when given the signal. No Matt today. He's out sick with something. Could be COVID, who knows. That guy is always trying to die to get out of work. You could say he's dying to take some time off.
Yeah, yeah, I'm going, I'm leaving.
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Today we invite our friend and local comedian Sawyer Stull into the studio for some relaxing shenanigans. Oh yeah, he also made CJ and Spenny a homemade Mexican Pizza after hearing their trials and tribulations with the availability and quality coming out of Taco Bell. Does it stand up to CJ and Spenny's eclectic tastes? You'll find out! JUST LISTEN.
Also, CJ invites Emily aboard to discuss his nephew coming into town soon, and how it annoys his fiance Lisa. According to her CJ tends to spend all of his time playing with his nephew instead of reverting back to "adult time" like a normal, well, adult should. Is there something wrong with him? Or is he just a playful soul. Emily puts her analytical skills to the test!
And Matt tells a story about Seth Green on today's Weird or Wired.He shares a tech story about Seth, and a personal story that deeply affected Matt during his time as a stand up comedian. Apparently he had a run in with Seth at some point. You'll only find out what happened if you listen! Or if you already know about it somehow already. That would be weird. Are you and Matt best friends? What's that all about?
Anyway, listen in. Have fun. Happy weekend to you.
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Today we unveil Emily's report on the state of CJ's bathroom. Recently on TikTok ladies have been quietly filming and criticizing their male hookups' bathrooms, and it's been a fun watch. But what's it like being on the other end? CJ invited Emily over to rate his bathroom in a similar TikTok vid. What are the results? FIND OUT IN THIS EPISODE, DUH!
And apparently artificial intelligence, or A.I., is getting so good that it's becoming dangerous in a variety of unexpected ways. In today's Weird or WiredMatt breaks down why A.I. is getting scarier and that we should DEFINITELY TRY TO PREVENT THIS FROM HAPPENING WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING JUST SITTING HERE RIGHT NOW OMG
Oh yeah, we're listening to this episode. Together. Mmmmm. Yes. That's right. Sweet, sweet companionship. Listen in and enjoy.
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In today's Weird or WiredMatt alerts us that Chick-Fil-A will be testing out driverless delivery in our very own hometown of Austin, Texas. Thank goodness! Bring the nugs to us! Technology! Hooray!
We also learn what to do to salvage CJ's relationship with his special lady, as Emily comes in to listen to his recent shenanigans and offer advice on what to do.
And our friend (and local comedian) Avery Moore joins the show for a few segments to discuss her new show, as well as participate in our Contest of Influencers.
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On Today is the GreatestCJ discovers that today is National Smile Day or something mundane like that. He also discovers that forcing yourself to smile can actually trick your brain into being happy, so we do our best to smile throughout the rest of the show. We hope we can help you smile as well.
Also, Emily stops by to discuss the longrunning cartoon family sitcom Bob's Burgers, and how it was originally designed to be a much darker show. See just how dark (and it's pretty dang dark) we're talking about in today's episode.
And Did You Know that it would only take you 38 minutes to fall through the center of the Earth to the opposite side if there was a perfectly placed hole connecting both? Wait, does that make sense? I don't know. We just found that info on the Internet somewhere. Surely it can't be factually fake!
Anyway, kick back, relax, and get you some Captain.
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In today's Did You Know segment, CJ makes a particularly dumb statement, and Matt takes him to task for it. That's it. That's the sentence explaining the title of today's episode. Listen to find out why. Yeah. I can't say more. Well, I can, but I won't. I don't want to spoil the fun.
Also, when will Tesla finally get its vehicles to fully automated status? Matt takes a look at their progress in today's Weird or Wired.
And Emily stops by to discuss her weird interest in EDM culture, but it's mostly all of the heartwarming stuff. None of the drug stuff. We swear! She talks about why she wants to attend the Electric Daisy Carnival, the biggest EDM festival in the country, and her experience dating someone who was really involved in the culture.
And CJ has two amazing stories to share. One of them is a real story that happened this morning. The other is a dream he had involving his friends and coworkers. Which story is sexier? The dream or the real story!? I can tell you that it's a much harder question to answer than you'd think. Listen in to hear the ridiculous tales of our Captain CJ Morgan.
We love ya. Have a wonderful time.
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Today CJ shows off some of his fake commercials to our producer Spenny. Will they stand up to his professional production standards? Or will they simply fall to the wayside as yet another dumb, but fun CJ endeavor? Perhaps both? How would that be possible, though? I don't know! The world is chaos! Listen in and find out.
Emily stops by for our Nerd Reportto talk about the recent gathering of YouTube nerds. A popular YouTuber organized a huge fight between a ton of different creators, and they raised some money for good causes too! See, not all Internet nerds suck. Some of them do nice things.
Matt also introduces us to some new radio tech in today's Weird or Wired. "But, podcast description writer, how could radio get even better than it currently is?" you might be asking. "Isn't The CJ Morgan Show all that radio needs to exist!?"
Stop it. Stop it right now. How dare you try to be funny! That's our job here on the show! Don't you dare! You're not even getting paid to do this! Stop!
"But, writer, why would you call me out when I'm just a figment of your imagination?"
Leave me alone! Go away! You're not real! Stop! Stop it!
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Our friend Emily from the morning show has joined on as part of The CJ Morgan Show Family, and today she recounts her recent experience at a Bright Eyes concert. Front man Conor Oberst has been reported as behaving a bit erratically during his live performances, so we wanted to get to the bottom of this! We didn't succeed, but we did our best. Listen in for Emily's scoop.
Also, Matt has been pestered by electric bicycles for quite some time now, and he may have finally stumbled across one that is both innovative and safe. Sadly the price tag is a bit too steep, but listen in on today's Weird or Wiredsegment for more details on this particular bicycle.
And CJ went to one of his favorite bands' concerts last night all by himself. How was his experience? Did he start any fights? Did he have a good time finding parking? All these questions will be answered in today's episode of Just Matt and....wait....The CJ Morgan Show! Yeah. Something like that.
Change is scary.
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In today's Weird or Wiredwe explore the new portable bidet that you can take with you wherever you need to take a dookie. Sounds great, right? Well, Matt doesn't seem to think so. Listen in and find out his thoughts on this bizarre invention.
Also, we had a lot of fun at the Austin FC game this past weekend. Listen to our recap, as well as CJ's altercation when he went to the restroom.
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Today is National Pizza Party day, so CJ and the gang have plenty of pizza-related topics to discuss. This is a very important subject near and dear to us, so please bear with us if we get a little emotional as we discuss one of the best food inventions of all time - the pizza pie. Mama mia! That's Italian for something. I don't know. Maybe just an exclamation or something. Whatever. Anyway, moving on...
CJ also shows us more of his reverse prank calls when a few debt collectors and scammers call in to the radio station. Apparently some of you have been using our station number to sign up for credit cards or other shenanigans. That's cool. Keep doing that. CJ needs something to occupy his time with other than LEGO mini-figures and flamethrowing his backyard. His fiance will thank you.
And Matt has discovered a cool app that can actually help you when you get your cell phone a little wet. Learn about the science behind this app and what it's called on today's Weird or Wired.
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In today's Parent Pickup Matt tells us about those little baby handprints that your kids constantly make on stainless steel appliances and how to get rid of them. FOR GOOD. Listen in and check it out. There's an extremely affordable way to clean them off.
Also, CJ shares with us one of his pranking methods for when a rude caller decides to contact us just to be a jerk.
There's more.
FORGIVE ME FOR BEING LATE ON THIS ONE - Spenny
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CJ highlights a few of his "reverse" prank calls that he made with some of the various scammers, spammers, and telemarketers that dared to call his phone. It's fun. LISTEN TO US.
Eric Clapton cancels his current tour due to COVID, but we feel he deserved it due to his anti-vaccination stance. Also, he's vaccinated too. So what the hell!? Listen for the details on today's People Behaving Badly. It's informative. LISTEN TO US.
And Matt discovers that, despite our loathing of Californians, they've apparently done something amazing when it comes to renewable energy. Details can be found in this episode's Weird or Wiredsegment. It's revelatory. LISTEN TO US, DAMN IT!
<3
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In today's Sports Betconclusion, we put Matt up to the task of chugging two Mountain Dew Flaming Hot sodas (that you voted on @JustMattandCJ). He lost the bet, therefore he must take the punishment. Do things get spicy? Does Matt finish his bet? Will Matt even survive two sodas worth of Mountain Dew? Listen and find out.
We also learn about the Internet of Things in today's Weird or Wiredsegment, where Matt usually takes a look at tech-oriented news. Apparently the Internet as a concept has been around for hundreds of years, but we just recently got the technological version in the past few decades. Find out how that's affecting our lives and what we can do to avoid becoming, essentially, digital slaves to services that are continually forcing us to rely upon them.
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CJ went to Wimberly for a weekend trip with his friends, and he may or may not have eaten some fantastic fungus. Regardless, during his solitary romp through the woods, separated from his group of friends, he came across a lone doe. The two stared at one another for what seemed like ages, and CJ felt he had quite the connection with this potential spirit animal guide. Well, until he stepped on something. Check out the rest of the 'cast for the full details. It's a hoot. And, no, he didn't step on an owl. That wasn't a fun pun to entice you. Just listen in.
Also, Matt finds evidence that scientists have developed a new way to generate electricity, and somehow it uses algae. You know, that gross, green, stinky stuff that gets on you anytime you tread through a random lake? Yeah. Algae is king, baby. Find out more about this unique process in this episode's edition of Weird or WIred.
There's more. There's always more. Check it out. CHECK IT OUT!
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Literally. On this episode's Today is the Greatestwe celebrate National Limerick Day, and CJ has written his own crappy limericks to share. We discuss what a limerick is, and its origins too. That's the important part. Focus on that.
Callers were encouraged to chime in as well with their own limericks. Let's just say a few of them were a bit too spicy for radio.
Matt has a cool toy suggestion for keeping your kids distracted during road trips in today's Parent Pickup. It looks pretty cool, actually. I might buy one. Maybe. I don't know.
And how far is too far when sharing things with your significant other? Would you share your toothbrush? One famous comedian said she did, and we should all shut the hell up with our judgments.
There's more. There always is. Listen in and find out.
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On today's episode of...this...THIS PARTICULAR SHOW! CJ makes some prank phone calls to various businesses on the coast to see where he can safely dispose of his old car batteries by flinging them into the ocean. Needless to say, many businesses were confused. One of them may have been oddly supportive. Check out the 'cast to hear the results.
Matt also highlights a certain company's lead designer (COUGH, Apple, COUGH) and his "every day carry" bag, which includes a ton of different tools to assist him in his daily design duties. Unfortunately, they're all a bit too out of reach cost-wise for the average person. What a flex. What a flex!
And, could you give up social media? CJ looks at a study that says most people would spend at least 21 minutes a week on social media, even when trying to abstain. How bad are you?
There's more, but you gotta listen. Or don't. Idk. Whatever.
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On today's Did You Know we learn that the Netherlands sends Canada tulips every year as a thank you for aiding them in the past. It's a totally fun, completely serious and not in anyway immature or historically inaccurate segment!
Also, the ACL 2022 lineup was announced today, and everybody has their complaints about it. Or their praise for it. Or their complete indifference to it. And, honestly, at the end of the day, who really cares? Don't go if you don't like it. Go if you do. And don't say anything if you don't care. Whatever. Life is a meaningless cycle of arguments we keep having over and over again until one day it finally stops....um....I assume.
But, I get it. Sometimes it just feels good to be seen and heard. Why do you think I type these little descriptions? For people to read and receive information? LMAO NO I JUST WANT YOUR ATTENTION NOW GIVE IT TO ME
Anyway, it's a fun episode. Enjoy yourself (but not too much).
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No, it's not how it sounds. Or maybe it is? I don't know, as I have no idea what's going on in your brain right now, but a dead politician did, in fact, win an election here in small town Texas. Listen in for Matt's report on the story. I can't be bothered to remember any of it even after literally just listening to it while editing the podcast. FORGIVE ME IT IS A MONDAY AT THE TIME OF TYPING THIS.
CJ also had his first experience with a rude moviegoer at Alamo Drafthouse this weekend when he went to see the new Doctor Strange movie. Did he raise the paper flag and alert management? Did he himself get in trouble when he tried to defuse the situation? Did he even get to see the movie? Well, you'll find out when you listen, you freaking tease. Wait, I'm the tease, no, sorry. Sorry.
More wacky times to be had, as usual. I had fun, at least.
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It's Mother's Day weekend, and Matt is off today, so CJ has prepared a bunch of mom-oriented bits. Sure, a lot of them involve him prank calling his poor mother, but there's also fun Mother's Day trivia in our Did You Knowsegment today.
Part live show, part mid-season highlight/clip episode, today we celebrate all things maternity. And pets! Since Matt is out, CJ does his Puppy Parent Reportin place of Parent Pickup. And we replay producer Spenny's song about CJ's dog Mr. President.
Look, it's been a rough week, ladies. Supreme Court leakage and the stress of life in general can get to anyone. Just listen in and relax with us as we try to take it easy on this Friday episode of Matt and CJ.
Happy Mother's Day to all of you wonderful moms out there. Thanks for working the hardest job on the entire planet. We need you. We love you. And we salute you.
Except you, absent mother. How dare you show your face here! Get out! GET! GO! GO ON GET!
<3
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CJ finally reveals the story about why he had such a bad weekend and why his lover has been angry with him. Let's just say it involves a frustrating activity turning sour, and an individual using violence against inanimate objects. How about that? Or you could listen and find out yourself.
Matt brings in a story about common household appliances and how much electricity they're using (wasting) in today's Weird or Wired. CJ engages in another Facebook rant with some stranger. It goes well for him, as it always does.
And our producer Spenny brought in another remix of CJ's homemade jingles. Listen in and jam out. We're Just Matt and CJ, baby.
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Today is May 4th, which is a Star Wars appreciation holiday (or something, idk, I don't personally celebrate). So today CJ sprinkles bits of Star Wars trivia and other assorted fun throughout the show.
We also have our friend and comedian Brandi Davis stop by for a visit, and she plays our Contest of Influencersgame. She's headlining The Velv comedy club downtown this weekend, so we wanted to highlight her and let the people know about the show! Visit www.thevelveetaroom.com if you want to check out upcoming shows of all kinds!
And then we talk about Slurp Juice. What the hell is this? Has the world gone crazy? What are memes anymore anyway? Listen in to find out a little about this rampant viral meme that may or may not have died off by the time our show aired today.
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We highlight several of Matt and CJ's recorded commercials that have gone wrong during the recording process. Usually it's because the one reading the commercial messes up a word or two and has to start over, but on many occasions Matt or CJ will intentionally mess with one another during a take. It's all fun and games behind the scenes, baby. It's also super stressful.
It's Paranormal Day too, so we talk about ghosts and spooky stuff. And it's Teacher Appreciation week, so we highlight some wonderful teachers from the TV universe. It's also Sports Betpunishment day, and CJ must take a couple fully loaded hot dogs to the face.
But today is also a very horrible no good day of news, so we've decided to avoid most negative news topics and focus on a brighter show. Except for those people in Austin who keep abandoning their dogs at a dog-friendly bar. Yeah, listen to that during our People Behaving Badlysegment. Shame on them! SHAME!
Listen in and try to have a good time. And cheer up too. The world isn't over just yet. We still got plenty of time to make dong jokes and play fart sound effects.
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In this episode's Today is the Greatest, we honor the legend of the Loch Ness Monster on its anniversary of discovery. CJ recounts the history of the evasive cryptid, and Matt brings in a suggestion of what people could have mistaken for Nessy that is far more common in the water - whale dongs. That's right. Google it. For science!
CJ also caught himself throwing up on his Ring door cam after he ate some pho a little too fast for his stomach's comfort.
There's more. There's always more. All on the podcast, baby. Listen in.
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SPECIAL GUEST ALERT - LISTEN TO HEAR OUR SURPRISE GUEST
CJ has a theory that our Machine Gun Kelly sound effect where he says "Hey" can work well with any song, so our producer Spenny put together a little contest for him to play. CJ must endure two rounds of six songs in which he must play the MGK sound effect at the perfect time for it to work well within the song. It goes...well, it goes as planned, I suppose. Is it any fun to listen to, though? We had fun, but did you? Let us know at @JustMattandCJ.
Also, CJ's car was missing this morning when he woke up. What the hell happened to it? Did he get drunk and get a ride home? Did somebody steal it? Find out when CJ dishes out details in today's episode.
Okay, bye.
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On today's segment of Win SomethingCJ introduces a new game to our guest host, comedian and friend, Avery Moore. Basically all she had to do was guess if the city names CJ announced were real or not, and I sh** you not, it's a genuinely good time. You'll likely be stunned by how many naughty sounding towns have been named all across the world.
Oh, and a listener won some AJR tickets for Avery's performance. We give stuff away sometimes, you should listen live to get in on some of the free fun.
Later we also task Avery and our producer Spenny with another Contest of Influencerscompetition in which Spen and Avery pick random businesses from a hat (actually, from an old lottery shuffling thing CJ found in a dumpster) and must come up with 30 second live commercials for these businesses.
There's more. There's always more, but I'm not your personal transcriber. Come on, ya goof. Listen to this episode and find out. We can still have a little fun when Matt is away. I GUARANTEE IT.
<3
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Last night CJ broke some of his rules for attending concerts, mainly by recording the band playing and singing along too much. There's more, but you'll need to listen. He's also got audio of his drunken melodies to prove it.
Also, Matt is out today for a very serious emergency. He's doing just fine, but it's a hell of a situation life has put him in at the moment. Send your good thoughts and prayers his way as he deals with another pile of s**t that life has thrown his way. We wish him well and look forward to his return soon. Love ya, buddy.
It's not all doom and gloom, though, as we're joined today by one of our morning show's hosts Emily! She's a blast, and we put her to the test by asking about red/green flags in the dating scene nowadays - a scene that she's heavily accustomed to since she's in her early twenties.
All that and more on Just Matt and CJ.
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Matt brought in a story announcing the new Heinz Dip & Crunch, and it's a lot to handle. You'll just have to listen in to understand this potentially amazing condiment creation. CHECK IT OUT.
Also, CJ has a fun story about his airport struggles when attempting to fly out to a wedding last weekend. Apparently he got yelled at a lot by various TSA and airline officials.
Also, have you been making your list of Austin's Essential Dishes? On today's CJ is Fatsegment we continue the list of iconic dishes at their respective restaurants. Join us, Matt and CJ, as we continue this list and attempt to try every dish we haven't encountered yet! Follow us @JustMattandCJ to join in as well!
That's it. I'm sleepy.
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On this gloomy Monday we learn that the pollen in Austin may very well be evil, or at least not of this earthly plane. Matt discusses a story about an area of Austin that went without power this morning because pollen got wet and somehow caught on fire, damaging some power lines. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!? HOW CAN WET POLLEN CATCH FIRE IT MUST BE EVIL!! CLEARLY NONE OF US ON THE SHOW ARE SCIENTISTS, OR WE'D KNOW SOMETHING MORE ABOUT THIS!
Anyway, we have more fun today like usual. Both Matt and CJ are back from different weddings they attended over the weekend, and they're excited to share stories of their adventures throughout the week. Today CJ discussed how he and his friends showed up to a wedding in Florida, and his crew ALL STOOD OUT as Austinites in an otherwise Floridian wedding. Hell yeah. Represent, baby.
Matt's also excited about the idea of putting a urinal in his home, but CJ and Spenny aren't so fond of it. Who wants a urinal in their house anyway? Well, apparently 14% of men polled in America do. That's not a lot. Not a lot at all.
There's more. Just listen in, baby.
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Today on Did You Knowwe learned that there's a term for the anger you experience when you're trying to open a sealed bag or package but JUST. CAN'T. SEEM. TO. GET. IT. OPEN!!!!!!!! It's called "wrap rage", and it's been pretty common for the past 20 years or so. Learn about this and more fun facts on this episode's Did You Knowsegment.
Also, a day of reckoning is upon us. CJ has done something he's both excited and worried about, and it involves his lovely significant other. What will she be mad that he did? Again? Listen and find out.
And will our listener Jesse finally win a game of our Stoner Trivia? He's lost every game this week, and we keep having him back on every day to try again since he's been such a good sport about us making fun of him. He could potentially win $130-worth of goodies from Austin Vape and Smoke, our local heroes of CBD, Delta 8 THC, and more (and one of our sponsors). JESSE YOU GOT THIS I BELIEVE IN YOU!
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Today is the sex number holiday. Happy 420 to you sexual deviants. That is all.
Just kidding, you big ol' doofus. 420 is the plant drug number. Today we have a bunch of 420-related content. Trivia! Facts! And prank phone calls! YES IT'S THE BEST.
Plus we basically trashed the studio with all of our stoner snacks today.
Happy 4/20 you delinquent! Enjoy the episode! Take it easy on those lungs too!
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Today we learn that dogs will usually sneeze when they're feeling playful, so it's usually a good sign! Unless they inhaled a bunch of oak pollen like the rest of us, then it's just a regular sneeze. But, for the most part, it's a fun thing! Yay! Dogs! Fun! Listen in for more interesting facts on this episode's Did You Knowsegment.
CJ has to eat cat food for this week's Sports Betpunishment. How well does he handle it? Well, listen in and find out. Or you could watch us live @JustMattandCJ when we do these things. Whatever. Up to you. Just giving you options, baby.
Also, CJ brought Matt and Spenny his new Easter Sandwich creation that he first mentioned in last episode. Is it garbage or is it good? Matt and Spenny put their taste buds to the test. FOR SCIENCE!
There's more, but I'm tired. My fingers hurt. I yearn for rest. Farewell.
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CJ is convinced that he has created a new, amazing custom for his observance of Easter, but Matt and Spenny are convinced he had too many edibles over the weekend. Listen in to see what the mysterious Easter Sandwich is and why CJ thinks he's onto a wonderful tradition for his future family.
Did you know people read 25% faster when reading from a paper source rather than a phone or computer? We learned that and much more on today's Did You Knowsegment.
Also, is there a conspiracy afoot? Matt thinks something suspicious happened during a recent interview with Austin Mayor Steve Adler. And did you hear that InfoWars has declared bankruptcy? Austin's own Alex Jones has filed the big banky for a few of his businesses, and we suspect he's doing it so he doesn't have to pay any victims of his Sandy Hook onslaught several years ago.
All that and more on this magical Monday edition of Just Matt and CJ.
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Did you know there's a period in ancient history where cat fossils don't show up? Where did cats come from? Why are they here? Are they aliens? Scientists call this missing piece in our evolutionary timeline the "cat gap." Whoa! Rad! Learn about this and more on today's Did You Knowsegment.
We also talk about Easter activities, a Margaritaville-style housing project coming to Austin, and the glorious season of baseball stadium fights that are soon to arrive in our People Behaving Badlysegment.
Plenty of fun to be had. Just listen, ya dingus.
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Matt saw a story concerning The Great Springs Project here in Texas, which aims to create a 100 mile hike-and-bike trail stretching from Austin to San Antonio. CJ is worried about construction over the Edwards Aquifer, but Matt is far more concerned about having even more nature for creepy dudes to use. For what, you might ask? Well, for hiding and masturbating at him. Apparently it's happened four times in his life, and each and every time was more disturbing than the last.
Also, CJ introduces the Baseball Stadium Snack Bracket! Feel free to name suggestions for your favorite stadium snacks @JustMattandCJ. We may have forgotten to included some iconic staples in our bid to fill the bracket. Listen in and help us out if you feel like we've ignored an obvious or important snack!
There's more to discuss, but you already know this. The podcast is an hour long! Listen and find out what shenanigans our boys are up to now.
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On today's Did You Know CJ discovers that there is a percentage of the population that cannot smell the strange odor that your pee-pee emits after you've eaten some asparagus. There are even people that cannot MAKE the smell too, and I really, really want to be one of those people. I love asparagus, but HATE the aftermath.
Also, CJ must take some sausages to the face during our Sports Bet PUNISHMENT segment in today's episode.
AND Matt finds out that scientists have recently learned how to reverse aging in our skin cells. That's right. Reverse aging. They took a 60-yr old's skin tissue and reverse-aged it to freakin' 23 years old! WHOA! SCIENCE! YOU CRAZY! Learn more on today's Weird or Wiredsegment.
There's more too. Just listen.
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On today's segment of CJ is Fat, The Captain laments Digiorno's introduction of breakfast pizzas to their lineup of frozen pies. We here at the Matt & CJ show all agree that cold pizza from the night before IS WHAT BREAKFAST PIZZA IS AND SHOULD ALWAYS BE! Who wants to add crappy, frozen egg or sausage and gravy to their pizza? Just eat it straight from the fridge like the animal you are!
Also, Austin made yet another list of top cities. This time? It's considered one of the best cities to live in if you're a homebody. You know, somebody who likes to stay in with a nice cup of coffee and a book. Or some hard liquor and video games. Hey, we don't judge. We're just proud that our fair city has made another good list.
Also, what's the deal with Elon Musk and Twitter? Matt takes a look at his behavior as a shareholder in the social media giant on today's segment of Weird or Wired.
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On today's segment of CJ is Fat we take a look at gross ice creams, with a recent announcement of a Peeps-flavored ice cream being the worst offender. Who likes Peeps? Do you like Peeps? Do people eat Peeps? Oh well, apparently there's an ice cream coming just in time for Easter. Hooray?
Plus, Matt finally unveils his info on why teens lie in his Parent Pickupsegment. Is it because they're sneaky little punks? Well, usually, but there are also several other reasons as well. Check it out on today's episode.
MORE TOPICS:
- a Chicago zoo is struggling to get one of their apes to stop watching vids on peoples' phones
- AISD is struggling with budget constraints
- LEGO and Epic Games are attempting to join the Metaverse
- Elon Musk threw a big party last night without any problems
- CJ keeps getting pink-eye - we find out why
- scientists discover a really cool use for honey on today's Weird or Wired
- more, more, MORE JUST LISTEN DANG IT
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Did you know mushrooms and other fungi can communicate with one another? How freakin' crazy is that?!? Matt takes a look at a recent study confirming this on today's Weird or Wiredsegment as we all attempt to comprehend the majesty of such wonders. The universe is so wild, bro!
MORE TOPICS FOR YOUR LISTENING PLEASURE:
- it's National Burrito day and National Beer Day (hooray!)
- what's up with the South 183 toll road speed limit?
- why do middle schoolers lie? a comprehensive look on today's Parent Pickup
- today is the birthday of Waterloo Records (hooray!)
- Will Smith has slapped his way into a video game on today's Nerd Report
- Elon Musk is throwing a rager of a party tonight
- CJ thinks his lover shouldn't wake him up when she rises early for work
- we look at a list of the best hotels in ATX
- a talk show badmouthed our fair city in today's People Behaving Badly
- puns are outlawed in China AND MORE FUN FACTS ON DID YOU KNOW
There's more, but you gotta listen. LISTEN.
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In this episode Matt and CJ get into a heated argument about doggy doo-doo etiquette. Should you just leave your dog's crap wherever it plops whenever you're going for a walk, or should you just bag it up like a grown-ass adult who accepts the full weight and responsibility of owning a freakin' animal? Maybe you're the type who likes to take your doggy poo bag and plop it in somebody's nearby garbage bin? Find out which one of our hosts REALLY hate when you do that.
Also, CJ geeks out about World War I, and Matt brings in some hilarious clickbait about coffee orders. Are you more adventurous, or perhaps more of a quiet loner type? Apparently your coffee order says something about you! Don't worry. Science was too busy to actually study this, so some online hack journalist decided to make up an article instead.
Oh, and today we played the first official game of Contest of Influencers after a couple successful runs with Spenny and our show friend Avery Moore. CJ and Matt pick from a shuffler two businesses or items and must write a thirty second live ad for each one. And you get to vote on the winner too! Follow @JustMattandCJ on Twitter and Instagram to get involved in all of our ridiculous nonsense.
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Matt was unable to make it into studio today in time for his Parent Pickupsegment, so CJ prepared a fun Pet Report instead. This time the talk was all about cat owners and their perceived sexuality. Apparently people with cats are assumed to be having more sex than people that don't have cats. Also, there's a parasite involved. Hmm, that doesn't sound good. Listen to today's episode to find out more on CJ's special Pussy Report.
Also, Matt serves up a punishment for CJ today after losing the weekend's sports bet. Bare buns and a soccer ball? What better combination could you ask for?
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Free beer for life, you say? Surely this sounds too good to be true! Well, yes, it is. Unfortunately for dozens of customers in the UK, they found out all too well during a company's April Fools prank gone awry. Instead of getting registered to win the contest for free adult beverages, they were entered into a subscription service to something that renews automatically. Find out more on today's segment of CJ IS FAT!
Also, there's a fun new movie for the family to watch that Matt explores in his Parent Pickupsegment. CJ gets back into wrestling after a few surprise match-ups over the weekend. And both the boys place extra bets after CJ lost our sports bet over the weekend (find out what punishment he receives on the next episode!).
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Today we highlight some fun pranks to pull on your roommates, coworkers, and friends. If you want to double check the list you can find it on our cute little website 101X.com
We also discuss changes to 6th Street that are being considered, talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly of Marvel recently, AND we make fun of the Razzies for putting their foot in their mouths after Bruce Willis's recent health revelation.
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Today our very own CJ Morgan attempts the record for most chicken nuggets consumed in 60 seconds! He claims he can shove 40 whole nuggets down his throat and completely beat the record of 19 nuggets eaten in a minute. Nonsense, say Matt and Spenny. NONSENSE! Listen in to hear the chaos that ensues, plus you can watch the actual vid afterward at 101X.com and @JustMattandCJ on social media.
Also, CJ may have accidentally sexually harassed our poor, young coworker Emily from The Morning X. HE DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER, THOUGH! It's another example of a morning show miscommunication between our two shows, but it's a hilarious revelation by the time he finally finds out that a particular word he's been using is how Emily refers to something special and very dear to her.
Matt and Spenny are here too, though. It's not JUST The Just CJ Morgan show. Matt brings in a ton of fun rankings for our favorite fast food sauces, and you definitely won't be surprised at what Texas eatery earns the 2nd place for best sauce (you'll be even less surprised at the 1st place winner!). Matt's also got tips for spring cleaning, a suggestion for an activity to do with the kiddos this weekend (yay kites are involved), and he calls out a tech company who tried to quietly ignore a massive security flaw in their popular products.
All that and more...
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Okay, sure, the name sounds funny, but several cockfighting organizations have been uncovered recently here in the great state of Texas. CJ has been feeling bad about animals getting killed recently, so he wanted to bring this story in to highlight the issue and hopefully spread awareness. It's not an easy segment to listen to, so we understand if you want to skip ahead a few minutes since we play some disturbing audio from an actual fight. Listener discretion is advised.
But, this episode is not all doom and gloom. In fact, it's quite a fun time! Check these topics out:
- We recap Spenny's (me, uh, hello lol) musical collaboration with CJ
- We reminisce on classic toys and vote on which stand the test of time
- We plan to get a hold of the soon-to-be-released alcoholic Mountain Dew
- We want CJ to attempt beating the record for most chicken nuggets eaten
- We have a good time, okay, just give us a listen why are you reading this far down anyway dang come on just put some headphones on or bust out a Bluetooth speaker and get this episode running
<3
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Technically olives are fruits, so they produce juice. Okay, whatever. Thanks for that fun fact, Internet. Listen to more bite-sized fun facts in today's Did You Know segment!
MORE TOPICS THIS EPISODE:
- studies show alcohol sucks for your bod
- studies show teens need more sleep than younger children or adults
- studies nuts on your chin (got you good, you silly bitch!)
Also, people are saving money on gas by switching to this cheaper method of transportation... Listen in to find out, and why it really bothers CJ.
OH YEAH AND CJ MUST UNDERGO A PUNISHMENT DUE TO LOSING OUR SPORTS BET! Can he bob for bologna successfully? Listen to find out and follow us on socials to see live vids of stuff that is WAY more visual on our show @JustMattandCJ.
K. Love u. Bye.
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Did you know that a few decades ago a diet pill was marketed and sold in Mexico that included a tapeworm egg inside? That tapeworm would grow, eat all the consumer's food, and help them lose weight! Oh my goodness! Wow! That was totally illegal and not cool! Learn about that and more in today's Did You Know!? segment on today's episode!
OH YEAH CJ IS BACK! He gives those of us who haven't had COVID a glimpse into his life as he struggled with being depressed during his time off to recover. What did CJ do to feel better? How did CJ manage his symptoms? And will he ever stop plopping his dong out onto the soundboard during the show? The answers to these questions (and more!) are all in this episode.
We played Punishment Plinko as well, and you'll have to listen to see who lost the Sports Bet segment this week! You can always vote every Monday evening for the punishment to be dealt on Tuesday on our Instagram page - @JustMattandCJ.
There's more, but I'm tired. It's Monday. Forgive me for not typing more. Instead, here's a free podcast where you can listen and discover what else there is to offer in this episode. Do it. Come on. Do it. You can do it. Come oooonnnnnnn.
Do it <3
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If you noticed any burning sensation in your eyes or perhaps are having a harder time breathing, well, it's because Texas is trying to kill you. I mean, not literally. A land mass has no interest in human affairs, but many parts of the state are on fire. Those fires lead to smoke and smog in the air, and those pollutants fill the air up with nasty nonsense that messes with your body. On top of that, the intense storm we had earlier this week kicked up all the plant dust in the region. All our trees and flowers are a little confused as a result, so almost all forms allergens are significantly higher than usual this time of year, including cedar, mold, grass, and oak. Stay safe out there. Take your allergy meds!
Oh yeah, CJ is still out sick with COVID. He calls into the show today and lets us know he's feeling better but still keeps testing positive. Maybe some of these allergens will get into his system and help kick the stupid 'Rona out!
Matt and Spenny have a few good chuckles today. Check it out. We talk about sex stuff. And other stuff I can't recall (I HAD A CONCUSSION RECENTLY AND MY BRAIN IS SO TIRED RIGHT NOW OKAY CHILL OUT).
Spenny out. I'm exhausted. Listen in and have a fun time with us on this episode.
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Today Matt and Spenny discuss the impact that films in the 1970s had on the rest of the industry. Two notable films you might have heard of - The Godfather and, oh, I don't know Star Wars: A New Hope! Maybe you've heard of a little horror film called The Excorcist? At the very least, these movies have had huge impacts on filmmakers and the entirety of the film industry. Listen in as we nerd out slightly despite our ignorance.
Still no CJ today, as he's out sick with COVID, but he'll be back soon. He's already on the mend and feeling better day after day. STOP WORRYING ABOUT HIM. HE'S A GROWN-ASS MAN. HE'LL BE FINE.
Here are some other topics Bearden and The Producer discuss:
- Robo-taxis are coming to Dallas for some test runs
- People are tipping less now on average across the country
- Legal cannabis has just made its way into a Federal bill - no freakin' way!
- Dog food is delicious, one man finds out
And Matt deprives Spenny of a pizza that he earned fair and square on the previous episode. How fair!
There's more. You get the idea, though. Have some fun and give us a listen.
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Love it or hate it, okra has shown potential for being able to clean plastics from our drinking water. In today's Weird or Wiredsegment, Matt takes a look at recent studies that have shown the oozy gooey goop in okra can assist with the removal of microplastics - tiny particles that plastic sheds as it breaks down. The scientists say it much better and in a more "sciencey" way, but Matt helps break it down for the rest of us.
Also, CJ is still out sick with COVID, so producer Spenny mans the board and does a little more talking than usual (yikes! omg!). We discuss a ton of FUN topics this episode:
- best pizza cities OF ALL TIME
- best DC Comics villains RANKED
- best fish and chips in town DELICIOUS YUM
- best friends forever (you and me ;) ) LOVE YOU OMG
- best events for this weekend GET OUT AND DO STUFF
The end. For now. Have fun with the episode! We sure did ;)
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CJ is out sick with the COVID, and Spenny showed up today with a black eye. After enough pestering, Matt was able to coax the story out of Spen - apparently he passed out, fell down, and also hit his head while en route to the floor. You can listen in for the full story. He should be fine, though. Right?
LOL IDK
Anyway, plenty more fun to be had this episode. Here are some topics for ya:
- We celebrate the end of prohibition in America on Today is the Greatest!
- We celebrate a millennial who is working hard - even post-brain surgery!
- We celebrate more ideas for our Punishment Plinko board, which makes its weekly appearance during our Sports Bet segment
- We celebrate a smart young lady who created a simple solution for killing off mosquitoes without harming other useful insects and plants
- WE CELEBRATE OUR BODIES, HELL YEAH
- We celebrate the imprisonment of another Florida Man who got a bit too touchy-feely with some female strangers
- We celebrate - OH HELL YEAH OUR BODIES, BABY! LONG LIVE THE HUMAN VESSEL! PRAISE BE TO NEKTOIRA THE TRUE EMPRESS AND RIGHTFUL RULER OF HOLLOW EARTH
- Huh? What?
- LOL NEVERMIND JUST LISTEN TO THE EPISODE
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Today we celebrate CJ's birthday! Yes, the functional alcoholic of our show was born on St. Patrick's Day. Wow! What a strange coincidence! Surely it has nothing to do with his habits whatsoever!
I joke, of course. We have a lot of fun in this episode by highlighting the history of St. Patrick's Day, as well as Irish cuisine and traditions. For example, did you know St. Patty's day was celebrated in Ireland much more seriously - it was a religious remembrance of the great St. Patrick, after all. It wasn't until crazy, party-hard Americans showed up on broadcast television overseas that the Irish decided we had the correct idea: to party until the sun is well beyond the horizon.
What state parties the hardest for St. Patrick's Day? Which favorite Irish food does each state prefer? And what is the Cliffs Notes version of the tale of St. Patrick? All these questions are answered in this episode.
We also address CJ's "Birthday Sads" he's having today because of his milestone birthday, among several other reasons.
Matt even calls in from his vacation to check in with us. It's a good episode, but don't take my word for it. Listen in to find out. If you want. I'm not here to tell you what to do.
But seriously, listen. LISTEN
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