Personal Growth Sucks: Recent Episodes
Erin Kinzel
Hi, my name is Erin Kinzel, and I think personal growth sucks. But I also can’t stop pursuing it, and it’s produced some amazing results in every area of my life. So the truth is that I don’t always think it sucks - I just don’t like the uncomfortable, scary and awkward parts.
Join me and my friends as we talk about personal growth - the hard parts, how we’re leaning in despite how awful it can be, and, most importantly, how we're moving forward. We’ll share helpful resources and tools and you’ll get to listen in as we encourage each other (and hopefully encourage you too) along the way.
Welcome to Episode 3 of Season 5, where we are exploring “little g” grief, a process that helps us honor our everyday disappointments and frustrations. My goal for this season is to help others with managing their expectations and their energy so they have more capacity for living a joyful life. Having unprocessed grief steals our energy and keeps us stuck in denial, and so I’m excited to dive into this season and share tools and resources to help you get unstuck.
On this episode I’m talking about grieving the loss of the ideal - both the internal ideal (our ideal version of ourselves) and the external ideal (ways we wish people and circumstances would be ideal).
As part of the episode, I walk through a recent way that I had to grieve the loss of the ideal and I take you through my grief process. I shared this process in depth in the last episode, and I hope it will be helpful to hear it again with a real world example.
Here is the grief process in writing:
- Name what you are hoping for. Think about the experience or the thing that you want. What is the view of reality that you wish would happen? What would it mean for you if that were true? What would perfection look like?
- Name what you are actually experiencing - what is reality? What are some specific ways that you've experienced this reality? What does it mean for this to be your reality?
- Name what has happened in the gap between what you hope for and what you are experiencing. What is the loss? What are all the ways this loss affects you? Naming these helps you see the real impact so you can honor what you've lost.
- Name what you are feeling as a result of the loss. This can be difficult if you are used to suppressing and ignoring your feelings. You may need to practice awareness and presence with your feelings. Something that might help you identify your feelings is looking at a feelings wheel. Once you identify what you are feeling, you actually need to spend time feeling the feeling. :) Try to get out of your head, where this is simply an intellectual exercise, and allow yourself to experience the pain and discomfort of difficult emotions.
- Now, we move to the parts of this process that allow you to reclaim energy and power, which includes creating a statement of acceptance. This will help you let go of the things you can’t control (including other people’s attitudes, beliefs, decisions, and actions) and take power over the things you can control. Write out your statement of acceptance with these four parts:
- Your hopeful statement - how you wish it would be
- Name the actual reality - the way it really is
- Express what you are letting go of. especially acknowledging what you can't control)
-
Give a statement of acceptance, especially acknowledging the reality of what this means for you
-
The final step is to decide how you will live in light of reality. If your statement of acceptance is true, then how will you decide to move forward in power?
Here are links that might be helpful:
Free Download - 7 Ways to Reclaim Energy From Your Weekend
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
Big Rocks Video
Self-Compassion Exercises from Dr. Kristin Neff
Welcome to Season 5, where we are exploring “little g” grief a process that helps us honor our everyday disappointments and frustrations. My goal for this season is to help others with managing their expectations and their energy so they have more capacity for living a joyful life. Having unprocessed grief steals our energy and keeps us stuck in denial, and so I’m excited to dive into this season and share tools and resources to help you get unstuck.
Today I share some of the reasons why grief is important, talk about ways this has impacted my life, and walk you through the grief process that I created for myself and my clients.
Here is the grief process in writing, be sure to listen to the episode for examples and info on how to apply this:
- Name what you are hoping for. Think about the experience or the thing that you want. What is the view of reality that you wish would happen? What would it mean for you if that were true? What would perfection look like?
- Name what you are actually experiencing - what is reality? What are some specific ways that you've experienced this reality? What does it mean for this to be your reality?
- Name what has happened in the gap between what you hope for and what you are experiencing. What is the loss? What are all the ways this loss affects you? Naming these helps you see the real impact so you can honor what you've lost.
- Name what you are feeling as a result of the loss. This can be difficult if you are used to suppressing and ignoring your feelings. You may need to practice awareness and presence with your feelings. Something that might help you identify your feelings is looking at a feelings wheel. Once you identify what you are feeling, you actually need to spend time feeling the feeling. :) Try to get out of your head, where this is simply an intellectual exercise, and allow yourself to experience the pain and discomfort of difficult emotions.
- Now, we move to the parts of this process that allow you to reclaim energy and power, which includes creating a statement of acceptance. This will help you let go of the things you can’t control (including other people’s attitudes, beliefs, decisions, and actions) and take power over the things you can control. Write out your statement of acceptance with these four parts:
- Your hopeful statement - how you wish it would be
- Name the actual reality - the way it really is
- Express what you are letting go of. especially acknowledging what you can't control)
-
Give a statement of acceptance, especially acknowledging the reality of what this means for you
-
The final step is to decide how you will live in light of reality. If your statement of acceptance is true, then how will you decide to move forward in power?
Here are links that might be helpful:
Free Download - 7 Ways to Reclaim Energy From Your Weekend
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
The Feelings Wheel
Welcome to Season 5, where we will be exploring “good grief.” Today’s episode is an introduction to the type of everyday grief I’ll be talking about, like what happens when a flat tire ruins your day. I also introduce some of the concepts associated with it including the “power process,” open grief loops, defensive hope, and protest mode.
My overall goal is to help others with managing their expectations and their energy so they have more capacity for living a joyful life. Having unprocessed grief steals our energy and keeps us stuck in denial, and so I’m excited to dive into this season and share tools and resources to help you get unstuck.
Here are links that might be helpful:
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
Learn more about Relational Nutrients
Welcome to a bonus episode of Personal Growth Sucks! I finished up Season 4 on the last episode and I’m not quite ready to launch Season 5, so in the meantime I’ll be sharing some bonus episodes on one-off topics.
Today I’m talking about the difference between emotional intelligence, empathy, and emotional over-functioning. I’ll share the key components of empathy, how empathy is different from emotional over-functioning, and six tips for staying out of the trap of emotional over-functioning.
Here are links that might be helpful:
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
Learn more about Relational Nutrients
People Fuel book by Dr. John Townsend
Brene Brown empathy video
Emily Sherwood joins me on this episode to wrap up Season 4 on the topic of friendship. She shares her thoughts and insights on friendship, and then I give a preview of Season 5.
If you want to dive deeper into the concept of being intentional about your friendships, check out my free download, “7 ways to get more energy from your relationships.” See below for the link to download your free copy.
If you enjoyed this episode and find my podcast helpful, please consider leaving a review so others can discover the podcast and gain new insights for their personal growth journey.
Here are links that might be helpful:
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
Free download - how to get more fuel from your friendships
The Art and Science of Connection by Kasley Killam
Platonic, by Marisa Franco
How Your Relationships Affect Your Health, Greater Good Magazine
On this episode, Becca Berghorn is back to talk with me about friendship. We are tackling the topic of conflict, which has been hard for both of us as Enneagram 9s because we are naturally conflict avoidant. And, we also tend to think things are conflict when they really aren’t - for example stating our opinions very directly when we know they are opposite the opinions of someone else. So most of our lives have been centered around avoiding conflict and now we are passionate about helping others do conflict in a healthy way, because we see it is an integral part of a healthy relationship. I hope you’ll discover some new perspectives and tools about conflict from our conversation.
In two weeks, I’ll be back with an episode to wrap up this season and give a preview of season five.
If you want to dive deeper into the concept of being intentional about your friendships, check out my free download, “7 ways to get more energy from your relationships.” Go to PersonalGrowthSucks.com and click the link for the free download to get your copy.
If you enjoyed this episode and find my podcast helpful, please consider leaving a review so others can discover the podcast and gain new insights for their personal growth journey.
Here are links that might be helpful:
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
Free download - how to get more fuel from your friendships
Learn more about Becca and her practice - Becca Berghorn Counseling
Learn more about Relational Nutrients
On this episode, Mark Brown is back to talk with me about being intentional in friendships. For most of my life I have been passive in how I approached friendships, so I wanted to have this conversation about what it looks like to navigate friendships with intentionality.
In two weeks, I’ll be back with Becca Berghorn to talk about how to have healthy conflict in a friendship. I hope you’ll check it out.
If you want to dive deeper into the concept of being intentional about your friendships, check out my free download, “7 ways to get more energy from your relationships.” Go to PersonalGrowthSucks.com and click the link for the free download to get your copy.
If you enjoyed this episode and find my podcast helpful, please consider leaving a review so others can discover the podcast and gain new insights for their personal growth journey.
Here are links that might be helpful:
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
Free download - how to get more fuel from your friendships
Learn more about Mark and his services - TruNorth Coaching and Consulting
People Fuel book by Dr. John Townsend
Feelings wheel
Relational Nutrients
This episode is part two of my discussion with my friend Becca about how to fully show up in friendships, versus blending, performing, or hiding. Since we talked for more than an hour, so I split our conversation into two parts, instead of having one giant episode.
If you want to dive deeper into the concept of getting more fuel from your friendships, check my free download, “7 Ways to Get More Energy from Your Relationships.”
Thank you to Becca for being my guest on this episode. In two weeks, I’ll be back with my friend Mark Brown as my guest for episode 9.
Here are links that might be helpful:
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
Free download - how to get more fuel from your friendships
Learn more about Becca and her services - Becca Berghorn Counseling
Full list of Relational Nutrients
Johanna Schram article - "8 Dangers of Being a People Pleaser"
This episode is part one of a discussion with me and Becca about how to fully show up in friendships, versus blending, performing, or hiding. We talked for more than an hour, so I split our conversation into two parts, instead of having one giant episode.
If you want to dive deeper into the concept of getting more fuel from your friendships, check my free download, “7 Ways to Get More Energy from Your Relationships.”
Thank you to Becca for being my guest on this episode. In two weeks, I’ll be back with the second half of our conversation.
Here are links that might be helpful:
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
Free download - how to get more fuel from your friendships
Learn more about Becca and her services - Becca Berghorn Counseling
Full list of Relational Nutrients
Johanna Schram article - "8 Dangers of Being a People Pleaser"
Brene Brown - fitting in vs. belonging
On this episode I'm very excited to welcome special guest, Katy Harvey. She is a midwest girl, a non-diet dietitian and the host of the Rebuilding Trust With Your Body podcast. She specializes in intuitive eating and helping women ditch dieting, stress less about food and make peace with their bodies so they can feel comfortable in their own skin and live life more fully. Katy is all about eating the foods you love, unapologetically, without going overboard. She fully believes that you can eat for satisfaction while also honoring your health, and that your worth is the same, regardless of the size of your body.
Today, Katy and I are talking about values. While we live according to our values, we don’t often pause to think about or define what those are. Our values lurk beneath the surface of our lives, serving as a (mostly) silent GPS that guides our decisions.
Sometimes, our values can surprise us as we navigate our friendships. This happens when a friend expresses opinions about a topic and we are surprised to find that we think very differently about that topic.
Values can cause internal or external conflict for us in our friendships. Internal conflict is when we feel conflicted and anxious about how to navigate a conversation or situation; external conflict is when we engage in conversation or behavior that brings this conflict into the relationship. And it can feel very tricky to navigate, especially if you are like me and have a lot of anxiety about conflict in relationships.
One thing from my own life that has caused a shift in my values and created some conflict in friendships is my Intuitive Eating journey. So when I had the opportunity to have Katy on the podcast, I wanted to go in depth with her on this topic.
On this epsidode, we talk about navigating friendships when they are disrupted by differing values, and we’ll talk specifically about how Katy helps her Intuitive Eating clients navigate these circumstances as well as my personal experiences in working through these conversations with friends. I have two goals today - the first is to use my Intuitive Eating journey as a real world example of how to walk this out in relationships. The second is to use my voice and influence to help spread the word about Intuitive Eating and challenge the destructive diet culture messaging.
Whether or not this specific health topic interests you, I know you’ll get a lot out of my conversation with Katy as you think about what it is that you value in your life and how it affects your friendships.
Here are links that might be helpful:
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
Free download - how to get more fuel from your friendships
Find Katy Harvey - website, podcast, Instagram, Facebook group
On this episode, Mark Brown joins me to talk about how to make friends. As adults we can judge ourselves harshly if it feels like making friends is difficult for us. So I wanted to take some time and discuss ideas and strategies you can use for developing deep friendships.
In two weeks, I’ll be back with a special guest - Katy Harvey, a non-diet dietician and eating disorder expert. We are going to talk about personal values and how they impact our relationships. We will also talk about something near and dear to my heart, which is intuitive eating. I can’t wait to share that episode with you.
If you want to dive deeper into the concept of being intentional about your friendships, check out my free download, “7 ways to get more energy from your relationships.” Go to PersonalGrowthSucks.com and click the link for the free download to get your copy.
If you enjoyed this episode and find my podcast helpful, please consider leaving a review so others can discover the podcast and gain new insights for their personal growth journey.
Here are links that might be helpful:
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
Relationship Growth Group on Facebook
Free download - how to get more fuel from your friendships
Learn more about Mark and his services - TruNorth Coaching and Consulting
People Fuel book by Dr. John Townsend
On this episode, Becca and I discuss different levels of friendship and why it’s important to have quality friends at each level. For our deepest friendships, we need people with whom we can show up fully as ourselves, even in times when we are feeling shame and vulnerability. For friendships that aren’t as deep, we still need to make sure they are healthy relationships where we are getting our needs met.
We also talk about how it’s not selfish to pay attention to our resources (our time, energy, emotional capacity) and our needs, and orient our friendships accordingly. We don’t have to be friends with everyone, and it is a very healthy, adult behavior to define what we need from friendships and then to seek out people who can fill those needs.
If you want to dive deeper into the concept of getting more fuel from your friendships, check my free download, “7 Ways to Get More Energy from Your Relationships.”
Thank you to Becca for being my guest on this episode. In two weeks, I’ll be back with Mark to talk about making friends. You won’t want to miss it.
Here are links that might be helpful:
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
Relationship Growth Group on Facebook
Free download - how to get more fuel from your friendships
Learn more about Becca and her services - Becca Berghorn Counseling
Full list of Relational Nutrients
Brene Brown - the link between compassion and boundaries
On this episode, Mark Brown joins me to talk about why friendship isn’t just a luxury - it’s a necessity. We talk about the health implications of loneliness, and why lack of connection can lead to numbing and addictive behaviors. We discuss why many people come into adulthood with fears about friendship and vulnerability, and how the path to healing comes only through relationships.In two weeks, I’ll be back with Becca to talk about quality of friendships - we’ll explore different levels of relationships, as well as what it means to be a quality friend. If you want to dig a little deeper this season, I invite you to join my relationship growth group on Facebook. It’s a private group where you can learn more about healthy relationships, practice giving and receiving relational nutrients, ask questions, and have discussions about the podcaswt. I’ll put a link to the group in the show notes. If you enjoyed this episode and find my podcast helpful, please consider leaving a review so others can discover the podcast and gain new insights for their personal growth journey. And, don’t forget that you can connect with me on Instragram and Facebook at PersonalGrowthSucks.Here are links that might be helpful:Schedule a free coaching session with ErinPersonal Growth Sucks on Instagram and FacebookRelationship Growth Group on FacebookFree download - how to get more fuel from your friendshipsLearn more about Mark and his services - TruNorth Coaching and ConsultingCDC article about loneliness and its effectsPeople Fuel book by Dr. John TownsendBob Newhart “stop it!” videoMindsight book by Dr. Dan SiegelFeelings wheel
Even though friendship seems like something that should be a no-brainer, I've found that many adults get to a point in their life where they feel like they are missing some big pieces of the puzzle. This is how I felt, until I started learning about healthy relationships and the skills I could practice in order to create meaningful friendships in my life.
On this episode, Becca Berghorn is back and she and I discuss aspects of a healthy friendship. We talk about friendships that are:
Vulnerable (vs. transactional)
Differentiated (vs. blending)
Integrated (vs. all good or all bad thinking)
Adult to adult (vs. one up or one down)
Mutual (vs. unbalanced giving and receiving)
Here are links that might be helpful:
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
Relationship Growth Group on Facebook
Welcome to Season 4! In the next ten episodes we will dive deep into discussion about friendship. Why is it important? What makes a healthy friendship? How can you do conflict effectively in friendship? How do you fully show up as yourself?
This episode marks a first for me, of having not one but TWO guests! My friends Mark Brown and Becca Berghorn join me to talk about the friendship that has developed between the three of us. Mark and Becca will each be guests on four additional episodes this season, I think you'll get a lot out of our discussions and I can't wait to bring all of that great content your way over the next few months!
Here are links that might be helpful:
Relationship Growth Group on Facebook
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
TruNorth Coaching & Consulting
Becca Berghorn Counseling
Blog post from Dr. John Townsend about the four character capacities
Season 1 of Personal Growth Sucks, all about Relational Nutrients
Learn more about the Townsend Leadership Program (TLP)
Today my friend Emily joins me to wrap up this season of Personal Growth Sucks. She talks about the practical ways these concepts have helped her in her personal and professional life. Anger can be a superpower when we allow ourselves to be curious about the messages it’s trying to give us.
I can’t believe we’re at the end of three seasons of the podcast! I’m going to take a bit of a break before jumping into season 4, which I’m planning to launch on March 1 with the topic of Friendship. I’m in the process of mapping out the content for the season and I’m really excited about it. It’s funny because friendship seems like something you should have all worked out as an adult. Being an adult who has difficulty making friends can make you feel like an imposter - isn’t this one of those things I should have learned in kindergarten??
The truth is, relationships are messy and complex. And there are many reasons why it’s difficult to find deep relationships where you can know and be known in a meaningful way. And it’s true that we are neurologically wired to NEED relationships - isolation isn’t good for us. So it can feel like a double-bind, a no-win situation, if you feel isolated and understand your need for meaningful relationships and also it feels impossible to figure out how to get there.
So I hope you’ll join me starting on March 1 for season 4, where I’ll have ten episodes that cover a wide range of topics about friendship, including how to make friends, how to be a good friend, how to navigate conflict in friendship, and more.
On this episode Emily mentions how helpful it was for her to have some coaching sessions with me to help her work through a particular professional situation where she felt stuck. If you're wondering if coaching would be helpful for you, I invite you to contact me for a free coaching session, no strings attached. Just go to the link below to see my calendar and schedule an appointment.
Here are links that might be helpful:
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
My friend, therapist Becca Berghorn, joins me for this episode to talk about practices we can use when navigating anger in our relationships. We share stories from our own lives and talk about why it can be so messy to deal with anger at work, with our kids and partners, and in our relationships in general.
Here are links that might be helpful as you listen to the episode:
BeccaBerghornCounseling.com
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
On today’s episode my husband, Mike, joins me to talk about how making friends with anger has helped improve our marriage.
>> One important caveat - I’m not saying that if your marriage is struggling, just add more anger! No, no, no. What we are talking about today is a relationship where we both have the ability to show up, adult to adult, with mutuality and maturity, and we both are committed to doing our own work. We both are in a growth group and have a coach. We both go to counseling to work on our individual issues. The discussion today is about a good marriage that has been improved by our individual work with anger, not a bad marriage where one person made friends with anger and fixed it. <<
If you and your spouse are both enneagram type nines, this will be a great discussion for you! Mike and I are double nines, which I found out is the most common form of a double enneagram marriage. You’ll hear more about that in the episode, but one major result of us both being nines is that we have a strong desire to suppress anger. So making friends with anger has been a whole journey for us in our marriage! I hope you enjoy our conversation.
Here are links that might be helpful as you listen to the episode:
Article about Enneagram Double Nines in Relationship
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
On this episode I welcome pastor, spiritual director, and author Michaele LaVigne to have a discussion about anger and lament. We talk about why it's so difficult to invite anger in as a friend, and how hard it is to sit with it and listen to it in the midst of our very noisy culture. We like to drown out the quiet of our own thoughts and emotions with apathy on one end of the spectrum (numbing behaviors like TV, gaming, or eating) or busyness on the other end of the spectrum (constant activity, being a workaholic, constant noise). Why is it important to actually pause and listen? How do we learn to sit with difficult emotions and listen to what they are telling us?
Michaele and I also talk about anger (and lament) as they relate to our spiritual lives and to Christian culture. At the end of the episode she gives some practices that will be helpful for all of us as continue our journey of learning to make friends with anger.
Here are some links from today's episode:
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
Michaele's blog post about lament
Michaele’s books
Michaele’s email
On this episode, Lisa Gomez Osborn is back to talk about the internal character capacity of adulthood. We talk about the four main "stances" that we discuss in our coaching practices - child stance, adolescent stance, parental stance, and adult stance. The goal is always to get to an adult stance, where we can have mutuality with others instead of being "one down" (in child or adolescent stance) or being "one up" (in parent stance.) Then, we talk about the types of data our anger can tell us about the stance we are in, and how it can help us move to an adult stance.
Here are links that might be helpful:
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
Blog post about the character capacities
Lisa Gomez Osborn's website
Hey, friends! Welcome back to another enlightening episode of Personal Growth Sucks. We've officially hit Season 3, Episode 5, and the theme that's been steering our conversations is all about making friends with anger. It's about reshaping our relationship with anger, understanding its positive role, and acknowledging the profound ways it can guide us towards growth.
In this season, we've been on a journey of connecting with our feelings of anger, moving away from the stigma that labels it as inherently bad. Instead, we're learning to treat anger as valuable data, a powerful force that can drive positive change when handled with awareness and curiosity.
Today marks the third installment in a four-part series where we're unraveling the intricate role anger plays in our internal character capacities. When I refer to character in my coaching, I'm talking about the essential skills we need to navigate the demands of reality. These capacities, namely attachment, boundaries, integration, and adulthood, form the foundation of our internal muscles for engaging with the external world in a healthy way.
Joining me today is a dear friend and colleague, Mark Brown, the founder of True North Coaching and Consulting. Mark and I have shared a growth journey for three years, and now I'm proud to be working with him as one of his coaches. His insights and friendship have been invaluable, making him the perfect guest for this episode.
Together, Mark and I will delve into the concept of integration, the third character capacity. It's a concept that has played a pivotal role in both our personal growth journeys, and we're excited to share our reflections and experiences with you.
So, buckle up for an insightful conversation on integration, as we explore the intricate dance between positive and negative realities and the transformative power that anger holds in this realm.
Here are links that might be helpful:
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
Changes that Heal by Henry Cloud
Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown
Mindsight by Dan Siegel
What is Maintenance Grief?
How We Feel app
On this episode of Personal Growth Sucks, I’m continuing to dive deep into the realm of anger as I learn to embrace it as a valuable guide. Remember, it's all about understanding that anger has a purpose, and today, we're focusing on how it can illuminate the boundaries we need in our relationships.
Before we get started, a quick recap: In my coaching, I often refer to "character capacities" as the internal tools we need to navigate the world around us. There are four of these capacities: attachment, boundaries, integration, and adulthood. Today, we're honing in on boundaries – the dance between individuality and togetherness in our connections. (For more info about the four capacities, be sure to listen to my last episode with Lisa Gomez Osborn where we talk more in depth about them.)
I'm thrilled to have my therapist and trusted guide, Amanda Richhart from Wright Directions Counseling, joining us today. Mandy has been an integral part of my own journey, and I'm a staunch advocate for both therapy and coaching in the pursuit of personal growth. I loved how she talks about “blobbing” and “unblobbing” in relationships, and how that process in messy but necessary if we are going to have healthy boundaries.
This episode reminds me that relationships are messy and complex, and it’s often difficult to have a clear perspective on them when we are in the midst of them. Having someone to walk alongside of you will accelerate your growth and help you gain perspective that is impossible on your own. If you feel stuck in a relationship that seems to be going in circles and leaves you feeling exhausted, I’d love to talk with you and offer some helpful perspective. Contact me for a free coaching session, just go to the link below to see my calendar and schedule an appointment.
I’ll be back in two weeks - Mark Brown will return to talk about the character capacity of integration, and the role anger plays in helping us to embrace both positive and negative realities.
Here are links that might be helpful:
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
Wright Directions Counseling
Dr. Murray Bowen, family systems therapy - The Bowen Center for the Study of the Family
On Season 3 of the podcast we're diving deep into uncharted waters, exploring the dynamic role that anger plays in helping us bond with others.
Yes, you read that right! One of the roles anger plays is helping us create healthier relationships.
On this episode, my personal coach, Lisa Gomez Osborn, joins us for the first in a series of four episodes talking about character capacities and how anger helps us with them. You might be wondering, what exactly are character capacities? Well, in my coaching practice, they're the secret sauce—the set of internal skills and muscles we need to engage with the world around us in a healthy, thriving way. Think of it as the toolkit for tackling life's demands.
Lisa and I talk about an overview of these character capacities, with a special focus on the first one: attachment, or as I like to call it, bonding. We'll unpack how anger plays a crucial role in understanding our attachment needs and, believe it or not, how it can be the key to forming stronger, more fulfilling relationships.
Here are links that might be helpful:
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
Blog post about the character capacities
Lisa Gomez Osborn's website
As I’ve been on this journey of making friends with anger, one thing I’ve discovered when I allow myself to be curious is that the feeling of anger is often the tip of the iceberg - it is the part that I can immediately see, but there is much more below the surface. For this episode, my friend Mark Brown joins me to talk about this concept of the "anger iceberg" and how we can see below the surface to know what is actually going on in a situation beyond just the anger. Which then allows us to have a better connection with ourselves and others.
Here are some of the links and resources we mentioned on this episode:
Schedule a free coaching session with Erin
TruNorth Coaching and Consulting
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
Anger Iceberg
Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown
Feelings Wheel
Welcome to Season Three, “Making Friends with Anger"!
Anger can be constructive or destructive. It is like having a fire in your house. When that fire is purposefully put into a fireplace, it brings warmth and comfort. When it is ignored and uncontained, it brings destruction.
For years I believed anger was always destructive and so I tried to suppress it. I tried to pretend it wasn’t there, but that doesn’t actually make it go away. The angry energy lurks below the surface and eventually it will show up somewhere, and when it did, I believed it meant that I was a bad person.
But when I started accepting that anger could be constructive, when I started to be purposeful about it, when I started to get curious about it, I was surprised to learn that it does some really important jobs for me. Paying attention to my anger and understanding why it’s showing up, has been a key to unlocking new growth and new health for me.
Which is why I wanted to spend a whole season talking about it.
On this first episode, my friend Becca joins me for an introduction to the topic. We talk about:
- Intellectually knowing that anger is a valid emotion, but having a felt experience that it is bad and is something we aren’t allowed to do.
- How we grew up thinking that anger isn’t nice, and we are required to be nice. But actually paying attention to our anger can make us more compassionate and help us have better connections.
- How suppressing anger actually leads to disconnection, and it takes a lot of energy.
- Ways we are deconstructing unhealthy views around anger and emotions, and how we are learning to accept the emotion of anger and pay attention to how it is helping us.
I’ll be back in two weeks with my friend Mark Brown to talk about the ways that anger masks other emotions and issues that are lurking just beneath the surface.
Speaking of my friend Mark, Some big news from me - I recently joined his company, TruNorth Coaching and Consulting. I’m very excited to be part of this group of coaches and consultants whose goal is to help others create emotional and relational health so they can have more energy for the things that matter most.
Here are some links that I mention in this episode:
Becca Berghorn Counseling
TruNorth Coaching and Consulting
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram and Facebook
After a long break, I'm back with a new episode! I'll soon be starting season 3 ("Making Friends with Anger") but before I get to that I have a bonus episode where my friend Becca helps me process some things about the name of the podcast. If you have questions about the title and wonder if it's too negative, if it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, if it somehow rubs you the wrong way, I hope you'll listen and get some insight into why the name is significant for me.
Thanks for listening!
Hi friends, welcome to the final episode of Season 2, which is all about “curing” procrastination. On this episode, I talk about some ways to love the procrastinators in your life and some tools for dealing with the frustrations that come when their procrastination affects you.
Personal growth takes a lot of courage and it is really helpful to have a dedicated guide who can walk with you on your journey. Working with a life coach is one of the best investments I’ve made in myself, and if you’re ready to explore the idea of working with a coach, I’d love to talk with you. I offer a free introductory coaching session, no strings attached, so you can have a transformational coaching experience and see if ongoing coaching is something that would add value to your life. See my calendar and schedule an appointment at PersonalGrowthSucks.com/Schedule.
Hi friends, welcome to Episode 9 of Season 2, which is all about “curing” procrastination. On this episode, I talk about guilt and regret, including the ways they can cause problems related to procrastination and practical steps you can take to move beyond them.
Personal growth takes a lot of courage and it is really helpful to have a dedicated guide who can walk with you on your journey. Working with a life coach is one of the best investments I’ve made in myself, and if you’re ready to explore the idea of working with a coach, I’d love to talk with you. I offer a free introductory coaching session, no strings attached, so you can have a transformational coaching experience and see if ongoing coaching is something that would add value to your life. See my calendar and schedule an appointment at PersonalGrowthSucks.com/Schedule.
Here are some links* you might find helpful after listening to today’s episode:
Personal Growth Sucks website
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram
Soundtracks - book by Jon Acuff
Atlas of the Heart - book by Brene Brown
A Slob Comes Clean website - reality-based organizing and decluttering
*As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. If you choose to purchase after clicking a link, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
Hi friends, welcome to Episode 8 of Season 2, which is all about “curing” procrastination. On this episode, I explore the idea of making peace with your actual self, instead of trying to be your ideal self. I talk about accepting the parts of you that are unlikely to change (personality, the way your brain works, etc.) as well as accepting the fact that things that can change (learning new skills, maturing, increasing awareness, etc.), will take time. A mantra that helps me get in touch with acceptance for my actual self is, “I can’t be more today than I am today.”
Personal growth takes a lot of courage and it is really helpful to have a dedicated guide who can walk with you on your journey. Working with a life coach is one of the best investments I’ve made in myself, and if you’re ready to explore the idea of working with a coach, I’d love to talk with you. I offer a free introductory coaching session, no strings attached, so you can have a transformational coaching experience and see if ongoing coaching is something that would add value to your life. See my calendar and schedule an appointment at PersonalGrowthSucks.com/Schedule.
Here are some links* you might find helpful after listening to today’s episode:
Personal Growth Sucks website
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram
All it Takes is a Goal podcast - episode with Marshall Goldsmith
Clutterbug
FlyLady
Visual timer
Getting Things Done book
Steps to Everyday Productivity course
*As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. If you choose to purchase after clicking a link, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
Hello! Welcome to Episode 7 of Season 2, which is all about “curing” procrastination. Today I’m talking about how we all have limitations and a finite ability to get things done. Accepting this reality has been part of my journey to create a healthier “ecosystem” where procrastination isn’t as much of an issue for me. Judging myself as a procrastinator doesn't always have to do with actual procrastination - sometimes it’s about having unrealistic expectations.
And, surprisingly, as I prepared to record this episode, I realized that sometimes I’d rather label myself as a procrastinator than to do the grief work involved in admitting my limitations having to prioritize my tasks.
A reminder, I’ll be launching a course/book study in 2023 that talks about setting realistic goals that you don’t have to beat yourself up to accomplish. If you want to be the first to know when I have all the details figured out and registration is live, visit PersonalGrowthSucks.com/Courses to get on the email list.
Here are some links* you might find helpful after listening to today’s episode:
Personal Growth Sucks website
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram
Personal Growth Sucks on Facebook
Necessary Endings by Henry Cloud
Maintenance Grief Blog Post
*As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. If you choose to purchase after clicking a link, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
Hello! Welcome to Episode 6 of Season 2, which is all about “curing” procrastination. On this episode, I talk about trying to manage the emotions of other people and how that can cause me to procrastinate on tasks. I also talk about boundaries and revisit the concept of bringing definition to relationships and circumstances. All of these things aren’t typically talked about in connection to procrastination, but as I have worked to create healthier habits in these areas I’ve noticed a big difference in my mindset about my “to do” list.
A reminder, I announced on the last episode that I’ll be launching a course/book study in January 2023. If you want to be the first to know when I have all the details figured out and registration is live, visit PersonalGrowthSucks.com/Courses to get on the email list.
Here are some links you might find helpful after listening to today’s episode:
Personal Growth Sucks website
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram
Personal Growth Sucks on Facebook
Hi friends, welcome to Episode 5 of Season 2, which is all about “curing” procrastination. On this episode, I talk about decision making and the ways it can cause problems related to procrastination. Some of the things I cover are:
- Bringing definition to my circumstances
- Why grief has been important in learning how to make decisions
- The ways decision making feels vulnerable
- How perfectionism and accountability can make me freeze
- Why it’s important to know what I’m saying “yes” to
I also announced that I’ll be launching a course/book study in January 2023. If you want to be the first to know when I have all the details figured out and registration is live, visit PersonalGrowthSucks.com/Courses to get on the email list.
Here are some links* you might find helpful after listening to today’s episode:
Personal Growth Sucks website
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram
Personal Growth Sucks on Facebook
Getting Things Done by David Allen
Steps to Everyday Productivity Course
Finish by Jon Acuff
“Big Rocks” video
*As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. If you choose to purchase after clicking a link, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
Hi friends, welcome to Episode 4 of Season 2, which is all about “curing” procrastination. On this episode, I dive into some ways that procrastination can actually serve a purpose. I also talk about my realization that I was incorrectly labeling delayed tasks as procrastination - when I am delaying them for a reason, on purpose, it isn’t procrastination. Being able to let go of that judgy label allows me to let go of unnecessary “mental sludge” and have more energy for completing the task when it’s time to do it.
Personal growth takes a lot of courage and it is really helpful to have a dedicated guide who can walk with you on your journey. Working with a life coach is one of the best investments I’ve made in myself, and if you’re ready to explore the idea of working with a coach, I’d love to talk with you. I offer a free introductory coaching session, no strings attached, so you can have a transformational coaching experience and see if ongoing coaching is something that would add value to your life. You can take a look at my calendar and schedule a free, introductory coaching session at PersonalGrowthSucks.com/Schedule.
Here are some links* you might find helpful after listening to today’s episode:
Personal Growth Sucks website
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram
Personal Growth Sucks on Facebook
“The paradox of choice” TED Talk
*As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. If you choose to purchase after clicking a link, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
Hi friends, welcome to Episode 3 of Season 2, which is all about “curing” procrastination. On this episode, I explore why so much of the root issue with procrastination has to do with our emotions. Especially the difficult emotions of anger, sadness and fear. We’ll look at why these emotions aren’t negative - they actually serve a purpose for us! I’ll share what role they play and how we can become curious about them instead of treating them as a problem that needs to be fixed.
Personal growth takes a lot of courage and it is really helpful to have a dedicated guide who can walk with you on your journey. Working with a life coach is one of the best investments I’ve made in myself, and if you’re ready to explore the idea of working with a coach, I’d love to talk with you. I offer a free introductory coaching session, no strings attached, so you can have a transformational coaching experience and see if ongoing coaching is something that would add value to your life. Learn more about working with me at PersonalGrowthSucks.com.
Here are some links* you might find helpful after listening to today’s episode:
Personal Growth Sucks website
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram
“Why You Procrastinate (It Has Nothing to Do with Self-Control)” - New York Times
“Procrastinate Much? Manage Your Emotions, Not Your Time.” - New York Times
What is Maintenance Grief
Townsend Leadership Program
*As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. If you choose to purchase after clicking a link, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
Hi friends, welcome to Episode 2 of Season 2, which is all about “curing” procrastination. On this episode, I continue my thoughts on why the goal should be about creating a healthy ecosystem instead of trying to focus on eliminating procrastination from your life. And I talk about internal motivation vs. external motivation - why the distinction was an important discovery for me, how it has made me aware of unnecessary rules I’m living by, and why it’s important to understand as we navigate relationships with others.
Personal growth takes a lot of courage and it is really helpful to have a dedicated guide who can walk with you on your journey. Working with a life coach is one of the best investments I’ve made in myself, and if you’re ready to explore the idea of working with a coach, I’d love to talk with you. I offer a free introductory coaching session, no strings attached, so you can have a transformational coaching experience and see if ongoing coaching is something that would add value to your life. Learn more about working with me at PersonalGrowthSucks.com.
Here are some links* you might find helpful after listening to today’s episode:
Personal Growth Sucks website
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram
Biggest Little Farm
Boundaries
*As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. If you choose to purchase after clicking a link, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
Welcome to the second season of Personal Growth Sucks!
This season will be all about procrastination. I’ll be diving into the root issues and talking about the things that made a difference for me in my own journey with procrastination. On this episode, I talk about an important mindset shift that can help you reframe the times in your life where you label yourself as a procrastinator, but maybe it’s not actually about procrastination.
Don’t forget that I’m now offering one-on-one coaching! Working with a coach is the best investment I’ve made in unlocking my potential through personal growth. If you are interested in furthering your own growth journey, I encourage you to work with a coach who can serve as a guide and a support. Learn more about working with me at PersonalGrowthSucks.com.
Here are some links you might find helpful after listening to today’s episode:
Personal Growth Sucks website
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram
Townsend Leadership Program
Whole Brained Child (book)
All it Takes is a Goal (podcast)
Soundtracks (book)
Hello! Welcome to episode eight - the final episode - in season one of the Personal Growth Sucks podcast. We’ve spent the past seven episodes talking about how to get the right fuel for life from our relationships. I’m passionate about this because I was 40 years old before I knew some of these concepts. I spent my life feeling like relationships took something from me and were things I was obligated to do, instead of them being life-giving and understanding how they are meant to help me.
I hope the past seven discussions have given you a new perspective, especially if you’ve struggled with building healthy relationships in your life. Or, maybe you’ve naturally had very healthy relationships, and this has helped you understand what you’re doing right and why others might struggle with this.
Today I’m excited to have a wrap-up discussion with my good friend Emily Sherwood. She is the Alumni Director at Bethel University in Mishawaka, Indiana, where I worked for nearly 17 years. She and I met while working in the same department, and over time we’ve developed a friendship that I highly value. Emily is a great friend and I love that she came on the podcast to share her thoughts about relational nutrients and ask some questions. I think you’ll enjoy hearing our discussion today and I hope it will encourage you in your journey.
Don’t forget that I’m now offering one-on-one coaching! Working with a coach is the best investment I’ve made in unlocking my potential through personal growth. If you are interested in furthering your own growth journey, I encourage you to work with a coach who can serve as a guide and a support. Learn more about working with me at PersonalGrowthSucks.com.
A reminder, if you are tuning into the podcast for the first time and are wondering what in the world relational nutrients are, you can check out episode one with my friend Jen, where we gave an overview of what they are and why they are important.
Here are some links you might find helpful after listening to today’s episode:
Personal Growth Sucks website
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram
Townsend Leadership Program
People Fuel: Fill Your Tank for Life, Love, and Leadership
Full list of Relational Nutrients, with definitions of each
Necessary Endings
Hi everyone! Welcome to episode seven in season one of the Personal Growth Sucks podcast, all about how we are designed to get our fuel for life from relationships. No matter where you are today - whether you are feeling on top of the world or if you are struggling, I hope today’s episode will encourage you in your journey.
On this episode, I’m excited to welcome Madeline Spring as my guest. She is co-director of my Townsend Leadership Group and the personal coach for my husband, Mike. She joins me for a conversation about how to know who in your life is safe to go to for relational nutrients. We also talk about family of origin relationships, as well as the concept of building a life team. Madeline is a licensed therapist and founder of Undaunted Leadership. See below for a link to her website in the show notes.
Don’t forget that I’m now offering one-on-one coaching! Working with a coach is the best investment I’ve made in unlocking my potential through personal growth. If you are interested in furthering your own growth journey, I encourage you to work with a coach who can serve as a guide and a support. Learn more about working with me at PersonalGrowthSucks.com.
A reminder, if you are tuning into the podcast for the first time and are wondering what in the world relational nutrients are, you can check out episode one with my friend Jen, where we gave an overview of what they are and why they are important.
Here are some links you might find helpful after listening to today’s episode:
Personal Growth Sucks website
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram
Undaunted Leadership website
Townsend Leadership Program
Empathy Video with Brene Brown
People Fuel: Fill Your Tank for Life, Love, and Leadership
Full list of Relational Nutrients, with definitions of each
Hi friends! Welcome to episode six in season one of the podcast, which is all about relational nutrients. For an explanation of what relational nutrients are and why they are important, you’ll want to check out episode one where my friend Jen and I gave an overview of the topic.
On this episode, my own personal coach, Lisa Gomez Osborn, joins me for a conversation about how to get started with practicing relational nutrients in real life. Lisa is a leadership consultant and executive coach who provides one-on-one coaching and works with businesses and organizations who are facing challenges with team dynamics. She loves to find solutions to complex team problems. See below for a link to her website.
I’m so excited to share my conversation with her, we covered a lot of ground and packed a lot of great stuff in this episode, including:
- Why experiences with other people are essential to personal growth - we’re designed to grow in the context of the right kinds of relationships.
- Why it’s okay (and even healthy) to be needy.
- Why having structured relationships is really helpful when starting out in your growth journey - hiring a coach, therapist, being in a group, etc.
- Whether or not relational nutrients look different depending on if you are introverted or extroverted.
- Why giving relational nutrients doesn’t mean that I have to “merge” with people or solve their problems, and an example of what this can look and sound like.
One note about this episode, I had some technical difficulties with the audio in the interview. So the sound is a little wonky in some places and I had to make a few abrupt edits, but I wanted to leave as much of the conversation as possible because it’s full of such powerful information.
Also, an exciting announcement, I am now offering one-on-one coaching! If you are interested in furthering your own growth journey and are interested in working with me as your personal coach, visit PersonalGrowthSucks.com to schedule an introductory conversation.
Here are some links you might find helpful after listening to today’s episode:
Personal Growth Sucks website
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram
Lisa Gomez Osborn’s website
Townsend Leadership Program
People Fuel: Fill Your Tank for Life, Love, and Leadership
Full list of Relational Nutrients, with definitions of each
Hi friends! Welcome to episode five in season one of the podcast, which is all about relational nutrients. For an explanation of what relational nutrients are and why they are important, you’ll want to check out episode one where my friend Jen and I gave an overview of the topic.
In this episode, my husband Mike and I talk about what it was like when I introduced the concept of relational nutrients in our relationship. At times it’s been really messy to incorporate this into our marriage, but it’s been worth it! Mike shares his experiences with understanding the importance of relational nutrients, and you’ll hear some real life examples of how it has caused conflict for us. Ultimately, we share how relational nutrients have made our marriage stronger and have given us space to show up even more fully in our relationship.
Here are some links you might find helpful after listening to today’s episode:
Personal Growth Sucks website
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram
Townsend Leadership Program
People Fuel: Fill Your Tank for Life, Love, and Leadership
Full list of Relational Nutrients, with definitions of each
Hi friends! Welcome to episode four in season one of the podcast, which is all about relational nutrients. For an explanation of what relational nutrients are and why they are important, you’ll want to check out episode one where my friend Jen and I gave an overview of the topic.
In this episode, I go solo because my week hasn’t gone as planned. (Gotta love these real-life opportunities for personal growth!) I was hoping to have an episode with my husband, Mike, but instead I pivot and take some time to respond to listener feedback and questions. I also go through an eight-step framework for getting your relational needs met, and then tackle some of the obstacles that have kept me from asking others to give me relational nutrients.
Here is a summary of the eight-step framework for getting your relational needs met:
- Take in information - this is what you are doing by listening to this podcast or looking into the resources I’ve mentioned. You first have to learn about the relational nutrients before you can intentionally seek them out for yourself.
- Learn to become aware of when you are having a need. This is equivalent to the warning light coming on in your car - it is acknowledging the light and getting curious about it instead of ignoring it.
- Diagnose the need. This is like taking your car to the mechanic after the warning light has come on. You have to take energy to “look under the hood” and think about what your needs are at this moment.
- Diagnose the solution. Once you know more about your needs, you need to think about how to meet those needs. If you are feeling frustrated, what relational nutrients would help you move through that frustration?
- Figure out who to ask to meet your needs. Sometimes this is about who is around and available (which might end up being a coworker or acquaintance) and sometimes this is about seeking out someone who you have a deeper relationship with.
- Ask the person to meet your need. This doesn’t have to be formal, it could be something like, “Do you have a minute? I’m feeling really stressed about this upcoming meeting and I could use some encouragement.”
- Take in the nutrients, or pay attention to if you are feeling missed. If you are feeling missed, you might need to return to steps 5 and 6 and try again with someone else.
- Take a minute to process your thoughts and feelings about the experience. How do you feel? Do you have more self-energy to move through the problem/hard feelings? If you still feel like you have needs, repeat steps 5-8. On particularly difficult days, I sometimes need to reach out to multiple people before I feel able to move forward.
Remember that this will take time! I had to practice step 2 over and over and over again, all on its own, before I had the ability and awareness to move on to all of the steps. Give yourself lots of grace when learning to implement this practice into your life!
Here are links to the resources I mention in this episode:
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram
Anatomy of the Soul
Townsend Leadership Program
People Fuel: Fill Your Tank for Life, Love, and Leadership
Full list of Relational Nutrients, with definitions of each
Hi friends! Welcome to episode three in season one of the podcast, which is all about relational nutrients. For an explanation of what relational nutrients are and why they are important, you’ll want to check out episode one where my friend Jen and I gave an overview of the topic.
In this episode, my friend Mark and I talk about what it sounds like to give and receive relational nutrients. This includes some personal, real life examples of how we have asked for our needs to be met, how we’ve had to practice taking in the nutrients and metabolizing them (and why this is an important skill to practice). We also talk about our experiences of giving relational nutrients to others.
And, you’ll hear a real-life example of what can happen when you express a need to someone and feel missed in their response - it actually happens right here on the podcast! I wonder if you’ll be able to tell why I feel missed when Mark first responds to my request for a need to be met? If you stay tuned to the end you’ll hear me circle back around, ask him to try again, and receive his gracious response. I love how it is an example of personal growth and an example of what a healthy relationship looks like.
Here are links to the resources we mentioned in today’s episode:
Tru North Coaching and Consulting
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram
Townsend Leadership Program
People Fuel: Fill Your Tank for Life, Love, and Leadership
Full list of Relational Nutrients, with definitions of each
“It’s not about the nail” video
Empathy Video with Brene Brown
I'm experimenting with creating shorter "Real Time Growth" episodes, where I take 15-20 minutes to share personal growth moments that I'm walking through right now.
Today is all about why I am stuck on my Instagram account, how I've allowed my "pocket jury" to have too much power, and how I'm moving forward with the help of some relational nutrients.
Speaking of Instagram... you can follow me there, @PersonalGrowthSucks.
Also, in this episode I mention the book "Soundtracks" by Jon Acuff, I highly recommend it if you have your own pocket jury that you need to deal with.
Hi friends! Welcome to episode two in season one of the podcast, and this season is all about relational nutrients. For an explanation of what relational nutrients are and why they are important, you’ll want to check out episode one where my friend Jen and I gave an overview of the topic.
On this current episode, I’m excited for my friend Bill to join me to talk about:
- Why I’m not responsible for anticipating the needs of other people
- How to get the right kind of relational nutrients so we have fuel to solve our problems
- A tool that can transform difficult conversations at home and in the workplace
- How developing emotional awareness can help us navigate messy circumstances
Here are links to the resources we mentioned in today’s episode:
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram
Elevation 138 Salon
The Feeling Wheel (this is one example, it comes from the Calm.com blog)
The Feeling Wheel Pillowcase
Townsend Leadership Program
People Fuel: Fill Your Tank for Life, Love, and Leadership
Full list of Relational Nutrients, with definitions of each
I decided to record a quick extra episode tonight about how I'm moving through this really difficult and sad time. It's okay to pause, feel the grief, and reach out for relational nutrients to help us navigate a heavy time.
Welcome to the first episode of season 1, which is all about relational nutrients. My friend Jen joins me to introduce the concept of relational nutrients - what are they, how do they fit into the overall growth model, what makes them difficult, and what makes them amazing.
Here are links to some resources that I mention in the podcast, or maybe I didn't mention them but they could be helpful to you if you want to go deeper and learn more:
Townsend Leadership Program
Blog post from Dr. Townsend that goes in depth about the four areas of character
People Fuel: Fill Your Tank for Life, Love, and Leadership
Full list of Relational Nutrients, with definitions of each
Safe People: How to Find Relationships that are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't
Hi, my name is Erin Kinzel, and I can't stop pursuing personal growth. It has increased my capacity in nearly every area of life - career, relationships, health, overall life satisfaction, etc. But the process sucks. As my very wise therapist, Mandy, says, personal growth is uncomfortable, scary, and awkward.
On this introductory episode of Personal Growth Sucks, you'll learn more about me, why I'm starting this podcast, why my brain and emotions are telling me it's the worst idea ever to start a podcast, and what you can expect from future episodes. My friend Becca joins me for the conversation and we talk about how important it is to have healthy relationships with people who can give you fuel when you are doing hard things, especially when you are pursuing personal growth.
Here are links to the tools and resources mentioned in this episode:
Personal Growth Sucks on Instagram
Kinzel Consulting (my business website)
Becca Berghorn Counseling (Becca's business website)
Information about the Townsend Leadership Program
List of Relational Nutrients
People Fuel (book by John Townsend)
Anatomy of the Soul (book by Curt Thompson)
Atlas of the Heart (book by Brene Brown)
Empathy Video with Brene Brown