What It's Like To Be You: Recent Episodes
Josh Lavine
Ever wonder what’s really going on in other people’s heads? The Enneagram knows. In these intimate conversations with people of different Enneagram types, we go past the facade of image management and self-presentation to the real stuff on the inside.
Do you ever feel like you're trying to keep it cool, but you’re secretly raging under the surface?
If you're a Type 9, or close to one, you’ve likely wrestled with feeling overlooked, overextended, and underboundaried. This rich panel conversation dives into the lived experience of core Type 9s, shedding light on how the desire for peace often masks struggles with anger, identity, and merging with others.
Learn how the different wings (9w1 vs. 9w8) shape how Nines handle conflict, personal space, and boundaries.
Hear real Enneagram 9s describe how “merging” actually feels in the body, and why it’s not just a metaphor.
Discover the surprising assertiveness that emerges when a Nine feels truly safe and situated.
Tune in now to hear this heartfelt, funny conversation that will transform how you understand and embody the Nine experience.
LINKS
Learn at The Enneagram School
https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course
https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Get Typed
https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams)
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
House of Enneagram
https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Intro
01:03 - Introduction of our 9 panel, type 9 description, topics of merging; boundaries, the body center
19:42 - Managing our sensory availability, handling 'violations', individuating while not dissolving, anger revealing needs/attention and performance
54:03 - ‘Premature buddha', 9s coming in to their power
01:04:42 - Type 9 in leadership, comfort vs 'finding the grooves' to fit in, being a part of the environment vs feeling energetic force fields
01:19:13 - Distinctions between 9w1 and 9w8, how a wing supports attachment, different forms of 'peacekeeping', frustration or rejection
01:46:30 - Outro
CREDITS
Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9
Omar Sullivan (SO/SP 6w7 693) is an absolutely hilarious and insightful person, sharing how being a Type 6 and growing up with a loyalty to “doing the right thing” collided with an internal drive to poke holes in systems, ideologies, and even his own beliefs. We trace how a Type 6 mind pings between self-doubt and defiant clarity, often using humor as both camouflage and truth-teller—a sort of “jester’s privilege” that lets him say what others won’t. We talk about the contradictions within punk culture, the irony of the sustainability industry, and the emotional truths that surface when a 6 splits inward instead of seeking answers outside. We also touch on the mental gymnastics of manufacturing certainty, ego fixation in relationships, and how being “the man behind the memes” reveals the necessity of division before integration.This is a loaded conversation exploring the energy of 6, the comedy of self-awareness, and how creative life often begins at the fracture point.
LINKS
Learn at The Enneagram School
https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course
https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Get Typed
https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams)
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
House of Enneagram
https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Intro
02:52 - Improv in college and creating a lasting impact, anti-elitism and 6 leadership, super-ego and doing the 'right thing'
14:39 - Making self laugh, ping-ponging, the humor of 6w7, "the jester's privilege", irony and playing offense to play defense, 3w2 vs 3w4 exploration
28:15 - Pointing out the contradictions and irony of the punk scene, so/sp call-outs within the culture, questioning authenticity
37:34 - Holding contradictions within self, community orientation of 6, finding resonances within 'scenes', frustration turns to the eternal seeker, taking things to the extreme to understand it
45:02 - Creative tension: the duality of 6s, inner split exposing emotional truths in creativity, getting into Omar's novel and the so/sp 6 arch
58:07 - Humor as a survival mechanism, intellectual and detached comparative to 'fighter', relationship to confidence and the 'dark truth'
01:06:01 - Manufacturing a sense of certainty through the mental center, better understanding reality, feeling social stability versus rejection
01:16:08 - Not pinning self to external explanation: bermuda's tuning inward, so/sp not contextualizing actions in the collective sense, being affected causing alienation
01:21:57 - Reinventing self, 'letting loose', being creatively fueled through adventures, the mental imagery of crawling back to life
01:31:19 - Navigating relationships and ego fixations, "the truth won't save you", 6 being the hell side of attachment type; roasting 6s
01:42:34 - 6's splitting showing ugly necessity of division prior to integration, “the man behind the memes”
01:47:57 - Outro
CREDITS
Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram6
Celia Murnock (SP/SO 6w5 613) is a Type 6 whose intellectual clarity and emotional precision root our conversation in complexity: her passion for biomedical anthropology becomes a metaphor for her life’s work — finding and teasing out gray areas in a world that demands black-and-white answers. We trace the architecture of Six through her eyes: the struggle to trust her own mind, the looping vigilance against being naïve, and the quiet grief of feeling like the adult in the room since childhood. The conversation moves fluidly between micro and macro, from early recognitions of injustice to the moral orientation that propels her forward — often at great personal cost. We explore the distinctions between 6w5 and 6w7: the cagey inner withdrawal, the instinct to "snip the threads" before attachment hurts too much, and the quiet resistance to being shaped by others’ expectations.
LINKS
Learn at The Enneagram School
https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course
https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Get Typed
https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams)
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
House of Enneagram
https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Intro
02:42 - Interests and pathways in education and career. Biomedical anthropology: finding and teasing out the gray areas, solving intricate/systemic problems
12:28 - Not trusting the human mind; the finite and subjective experience, 6s horrified awareness, understanding and orienting to reality and certainty
21:27 - 6w5 versus 6w7, 5 wanting to 'snip the threads', sensitivities to attachment 'mismatches'
26:05 - Childhood recognitions of morality, 6s realism and 'calling out the thing', an inherent obligation to not be short-sighted by clarity and subjectivity, self-justification to 'making a stink'
39:09 - Structural rigidity, macro vs micro and personal philosophies of life, stepping away from the microscope, injustices of the world
47:33 - "Too many arteries bleeding"; super-ego of 6, being a porcupine or a bottle of soda that's been shaken, inner pressure, wearing a seatbelt in life
56:51 - Struggling to find serenity, current life situation and tracking decisions through type structure, identity wrapped up into being the certainty
01:11:35 - Making things more good instead of less bad, 'soul purpose'; depth over breadth
01:22:20 - 6w5 cagey nature, "I'm not trying to not touch you, I'm trying to keep you from touching me", private internal withdrawal, not signing the contract, expectations vs responses
01:30:48 - Making a mess, cleaning up after ourselves, 6-1 stem reflections, resignation with attachments
01:37:10 - Outro
CREDITS
Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram6
Elisa (SP/SX 3w2 378) joins us for a rich and layered conversation that weaves together identity, performance, and the relentless pursuit of autonomy. A pole and circus studio founder with a deep instinct for self-reinvention, Elisa moves through life like a well-rehearsed act — equal parts precision and provocation. We talk about what it means to build a life around something still stigmatized by the mainstream, the tension between personal truth and social acceptability, and how visibility can be both a risk and a reclamation. Throughout, Elisa reflects on the roots of her drive — a childhood that demanded self-reliance, an early mistrust of authority, and a bone-deep resistance to being boxed in. We explore the challenges of delegation when control has always been survival, and the vulnerability required to teach, lead, and create in front of others. There’s a powerful thread here about embodiment as empowerment: how performance can become a site of healing, defiance, and radical honesty.
LINKS
Learn at The Enneagram School
https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course
https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Get Typed
https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams)
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
House of Enneagram
https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Intro
03:30 - Social blind 3 running a circus & pole studio, 'expansion' definition as triple assertive, 3's pride of business
09:19 - Perception as a social blind 3, trust and autonomy in business, being an 'idea machine'
16:34 - Sp/sx importance of atmosphere, eroticism within career
26:19 - Approval of parents as a type 3, being consumed with a fire to fulfill 'who I am', struggling during COVID and taking things personally
35:59 - Core 3 'keeps a lid' on energetic 7 and 8 fixes, 3 believing "I can do anything", learning the 'social game' in business
42:31 - Being curious in the social instinct, tracking others' gaze/values, 3w2 anticipating others' needs but not clocking social nuances
50:29 - Instructor experience, impersonal impact on others, relating to control in relationships
61:15 - Separation/boundaries in professional relationships, seeking or deflecting validation, vulnerability in the sexual instinct and performance
01:13:18 - Being a competence type, honing your craft, having an interest vs running a business, obsession with self-improvement
01:24:26 - Childhood reflections; energetic and unfiltered, not participating in early school institutions
01:34:59 - Self-worth vs social accolades, the role of teachers, seeking essential value through productivity
01:43:07 - Not identifying with victimhood, difficulties accepting help/delegation, being an emotional support child, hyper-independence
01:52:54 - Putting whole self into work, delivering excellence, 3w2 empathy can override necessary negative interactions
02:00:05 - Outro
CREDITS
Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram3
Alex (SO/SP 6w7 693) joins us for a deep dive into the often-misunderstood inner terrain of the Social Six — where loyalty is a vigilant scan for danger, and the mind’s ceaseless activity is less about worry than about building a livable world. From the outset, Alex speaks to the dissonance of being typed as a Six, resisting the caricatures and one-dimensional projections that cling to the type.
We explore the deep patterns of fear and mental over-responsibility that began in childhood: a sense of being a small, visible target in a world ruled by unseen authority. Alex opens up about health anxiety, asexuality, and the complexity of labels — both how they can offer coherence and how they can confine.
Alex also brings in the character of Zuko from our shared favorite show Avatar: The Last Airbender as a mirror of his own journey — from rigid loyalty to false authority, through crisis, to a reclamation of inner truth. Together, we explore how Six navigates the labyrinth of mental gates that must be opened before love can be received, and how trust — in the self, in others, in life — is painstakingly built, tested, and sometimes, finally, allowed.
LINKS
Learn at The Enneagram School
https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course
https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Get Typed
https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams)
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
House of Enneagram
https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Intro
02:31 - Participating in Enneagram communities, creating memes while waiting for typing results, reacting to being type 6, unpacking the projections onto 6, "finding a mental home"
12:27 - Being a 'cog in the machine', erasing individualization, a "thought-terminating cliche", having mental tweezers
17:10 - Childhood memories, fearing authority larger than parents, fear/anxiety of being a "sitting duck" to external powers
23:36 - "Going haywire", the vetting mechanism of 6, fearing and joking about death
29:01 - Ketamine treatment, expanding perspectives assisting with anxiety, limited "mental real estate", social narratives and afterthoughts, an unreliable narrator
38:09 - 6s not taking responsibility for personal perspectives, pinging off of others, judgment off of 'needing others', self-honoring and life-giving, self-sufficiency narratives
46:03 - 6s archetypal connection to labels, being asexual, attention to collective ideals/gaze
52:30 - self-deprecation being limiting, therapy, social rejection, deconstructing 'what I deserve to have/want", identifying the super-ego
59:11 - not making progress, fear of social vulnerability, 6's inner splitting, exploring the underdog position
01:06:59 - Avatar the Last Airbender; relating to the Zuko character arch, shedding the false authorities, enacting personal will, changing inherited reality perspectives
01:16:22 - 'vetting' self-love, matrix of mental gates, a core need to have 'right' orientation, observing the other center's participation
01:23:54 - Outro
CREDITS
Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram6
Aurel (SO/SP 6w7 693) experienced a major stroke in early adulthood—an event that unraveled his sense of self and fractured his memory. What happens when your personal history goes missing? In this conversation, Aurel reflects on the slow, painful reconstruction of identity and how trauma rewrites not just the past, but the present narrative. We talk about radical empathy, activism, and the emotional labor of confronting systemic injustice while piecing together who you are. This is a deep dive into Type 6 themes—humility, doubt, the search for expertise, and the existential anxiety that rides alongside all of it. Aurel also shares how role-playing games became a surprising avenue for self-exploration, offering both escape and insight. Gender, memory, social responsibility, and the long arc of healing—it’s all here, held together by a steady curiosity about what it means to tell the truth, especially when the truth feels scattered.
LINKS
Learn at The Enneagram School
https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course
https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Get Typed
https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams)
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
House of Enneagram
https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Intro
05:45 - Grounding to a sense of reliable orientation as a core mental type carrying significant memory loss
09:37 - Mosaic of identity: pieces of Aurel's life, "firming up" to actually get better attachments
14:56 - Being 'proactively solid', having a passionate moral compass, feeling guilt backlash
19:36 Anti-fascism, practicing good discernment, community care-taking
21:01 "Can we put a time stamp on this so people who aren't white don't have to hear about how I learned to care about racism if they don't want to?"
23:44 - Social core 6 'sounding the alarm' to this reality, searching for and spreading truth through the 'best information'
31:55 - A fascination with information, 6 wing 7 'play mode', anti-arrogance of 6, "I don't want to be responsible for your orientation"
35:17 - Navigating influence and value, proselytizing mode, anti-elitism and self-erasure of the 6-9 stem
46:17 - Role-playing games as an artistic form to navigate different aspects of self and identity
53:07 - Intersection of memory loss and identity, "none of us hold all of ourselves", not being certain of self-perceptions
01:02:14 - Gender Identity, re-inventing yourself, the complexities of social labels, 6s ability to see the categories held by the collective mind
01:11:44 - Gender expression through the sexual instinct, sexual blind 6 afraid of 'being caught', sexual versus social attunement, finding 'flavor' through the arts but having 3 last
01:26:43 - Outro
CREDITS
Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram6
Mar (SP/SX 7w6 794) joins us for a luminous, chaotic dive into the inner world of an SP Seven — where optimism burns like a flare, vision outpaces feasibility, and connection is often a puzzle missing key pieces. Mar touches on her social blindness — the kind that makes small talk feel like calculus and leads to well-meaning intensity that others don't always know how to receive. We explore her writing, which orbits themes of fate, finality, and surrealism — what she calls “pocket knife stories” for their compact emotional heft. This conversation also opens space for harder truths: her relationship with alcohol as both amplifier and isolator, the tension between reckless vitality and the longing for groundedness, and the ongoing work of integrating a self built on speed with one that can sit still. At the heart of it all is a question familiar to many Sevens: What does it mean to choose presence, when flight feels like freedom?
Link to Mar's writing; https://www.marovsheid.com/
LINKS
Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Intro
03:28 - Understanding enneagram typing before knowing the enneagram, something the personality is doing that isn't 'baseline', being different from the average mold
07:56 - Navigating social interactions as a social blind, blindspot not holding nuance
14:47 - Social dismissal, writing as self-value, 4 fix misattunement
22:36 - Type 7 instant gratification seeking, getting what you want from a young age, objects of desire, the dachshund story
32:42 - Making luck: balancing action/faith, assertiveness without pragmatism
40:19 - Vision of a solar-powered future, self-preservation 7 lacking stick-to-itiveness
48:12 - Fragility of dreams/weight of the past, looking to be optimally nourished, difficulty reflecting
59:37 - Mar's relationship to writing, type 7 always looking to the next thing, 4w5 constantly reworking self
01:04:28 - Finality and tragedy in art, fragility of existence
01:17:51 - Nature of writing and self-expression, 'giving the symbols legs', the inner tension between 2 poles
01:26:58 - Staying power of writing while being a 7
01:37:32 - Navigating alcohol as a tool, sp/sx not feeling answerable to social, curling into self
01:54:12 - Outro
CREDITS Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram7
Cassandra Carol (SP/SO 9w8 972) joins us for a raw and resonant conversation about what it means to carry deep emotional weight while moving gently through the world. Cass, a high-energy and incredibly polite Nine, opens up about surviving childhood abuse, navigating a turbulent past marriage, and understanding the complex aspects of her unique Enneagram type with precision. We explore the paradox of a Nine who feels “too much” in a world that asks her to be less — the push-pull of wanting to merge without disappearing, of protecting others without burning out. Cass’s Enneagram journey (including strong 7 and 2 fixes) becomes a map for understanding her deep instincts to nurture, accommodate, and endure — even at great personal cost. Cass’s episode is an expression of what it means to hold both ferocity and fragility — and to choose growth anyway.
LINKS
Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram
TIMESTAMPS
0:00 - Intro
03:17 - Looking at the typing as a whole - 9w8 7w8 2w3 - how the fixes ‘give energy’ to the 9 core. Interpersonal positioning, reacting to and processing early trauma, not presenting the ‘real me’.
11:35 - Being triple positive, each type doesn’t want sadness. Rejection in type cuts off irritants.
16:56 - Divorce, talking about trauma with a fun ‘poppy’ energy, nature versus nurture and resiliency levels in type. (intro clip around 15:00)
22:19 - Body center ‘testing’ its own strength after past trauma, reflecting on 8’s influence on self-judgement, fluctuating between personal emotional control and porousness.
37:16 - Boondock Saints, religion, and past relationships
46:12 - 6 versus 9w8 relationship history and dynamic, 7s aversion to controlling others, speaking truth
55:11 - ‘putting on’ the bad bitch energy, taking on motherhood having mama bear energy, 9’s endurance
59:10 - understanding 2 energy, 2 fix glorified in christian culture, 9w8 sensitivity to being ‘too much’
1:17:12 - positive fantasy, parenting with rejection influences, contradicting parts of type creating inner narratives
1:26:50 - dazzling therapists without getting to the heart, self-soothing obsessions, coming to a close
CREDITS
Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9
Ruth (SX/SO 9w1 973) joins us for a luminous and radical exploration of the Sexual 9's longing for union — with God, with others, and, ultimately, with herself. From an early age, Ruth’s life was shaped by profound mystical experiences: claiming Jesus at three, and at nine, encountering a vision of him entering her body — not metaphorically, but viscerally, as a wave of physical love. These moments left an imprint, becoming the compass by which she navigated the world — always reaching for a love that could hold her entire being. We explore how this early spiritual intensity tethered her to external sources of nourishment — church, relationships, ideals — while a deeper hunger for selfhood remained dormant, waiting to be reclaimed. Her story takes a sharp turn in her late 30s, when a “rude awakening” forced her to prioritize self-care and embodiment. What unfolds is a quiet revolution: the shift from merging to individuation, from numbing to sensation, from floating in spirit to landing in body.
Google Doc containing all of Ruth’s poems, art, and links; https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_HCMlPkNOTMyt87PAmhI36jPTIIR71PaTxFw6oYDa5A/edit?usp=sharing
LINKS
Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Intro
03:20 - Unburdening the self from a narrative arch
13:07 - Self-preservation blind externalizing the body through the church
30:57 - Abandoning will and choice in areas of life
34:59 - Sexual dominant; ecstatic states causing self-abandonment
45:55 - ‘Go find your mountain’; stepping into the world with confidence
50:44 - Questioning faith, ‘the fall’ to Earth and becoming a person
1:00:50 - Building a tolerance to regulating stress
1:11:44 - Connecting with the mundane self-preservation independently
1:21:28 - Understanding the natural rhythms and life force of the body
1:39:16 - Outro
CREDITS
Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9
Anna Palumbo (SO/SP 9w8 937) returns for a second conversation—this time reflecting on the shifts she's experienced since our last recording. We begin with a live performance of her original song Wings for the Heart, a piece that emerged in the wake of personal rupture and now stands as both witness and balm. What follows is a layered exploration of emotional fragmentation, the disorienting effects of internal and external turbulence, and the slow, deliberate work of reweaving oneself from the inside out. Anna speaks candidly about a transformative road trip with her family that cracked something open—making space for parts of herself she’d long kept at bay. We discuss the cost of emotional suppression, the subtle tensions in relational dynamics, and the grounded power that comes from living with greater authenticity. What emerges is the portrait of a Nine learning to inhabit her full aliveness, not by transcending conflict but by letting all the pieces have a seat at the table.
LINKS
Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram
TIMESTAMPS
0:00 - Intro
7:31 - Following the bird song, the healing power of music, Performance of 'Wings for the Heart'
16:20 - Embracing vulnerability in art, heart receiving, a 9 in her element
20:36 - 9s line to 3, saturating a space with energy, showing up as 'I Am'
23:10 - Reflections since the previous interview, coping between internal and external world, "competency cringe"
28:03 - Noticing 'numbness' in presence, self-location versus fragmented states, 'needing time to arrive'
36:03 - Incongruences with life force, realignment with self by taking on a solid form, family road trip
47:43 - Not having a backlog of emotions or rage, 'bigness' of 9, transforming the need to manage oneself
52:34 - Embracing conflict and personal sovereignty, living in the space between myself and others
55:28 - Journaling/posting during travel leads to finding inner voice and framing of experience, feeling at home in my world
61:15 - Parenting with presence and clarity, "I'm more than just 'mom'", allowing struggles to exist in a child's life
01:08:30 - Integration of different threads of self, congruence within relationships
01:11:43 - Surrendering to self-authenticity, attachment dynamics shifting, a new energetic body
01:23:04 - Outro
CREDITS Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9
Bjarne is an SO/SP 8w9 with 3w2 and 6w7 fixes, though in this episode, he questions whether he might be a core Six. What emerges regardless is a portrait of a powerful, self-directed psyche shaped by an early awareness of exploitation, corruption, the failure of collective systems to protect the dignity of life. From political dreams as a child to his drive to awaken others to their own strength, Bjarne speaks about what it means to live with a sense of self-respect and moral propulsion. We talk about betrayal and its lasting scar: how one relational rupture cost him his emotional faith in others, replacing it with vigilance and paranoia. We also explore the engine behind his ambition, his disdain for comfort zones, and the sadness he feels watching others give up on their dreams. Despite his tough exterior, what drives him is a longing to ignite others into action and distribute his own fire so that others might reclaim their agency. This is a conversation about will, self-respect, the cost of vigilance, and the restless drive to feel truly alive.
LINKS
Learn at The Enneagram School
https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course
https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Get Typed
https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams)
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
House of Enneagram
https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Intro
02:33 - What it means to ‘be excited’, decided which emotions are experienced
10:19 - Cut off from vulnerability causes inauthentic connection with others; the significance of self-betrayal
12:57 - Bjarne’s core 6 theory; ruling with anxiety. Clarifying ‘being taken advantage of’
15:23 - Corruption, weakness, and politics
16:52 - An instinctual repulsion over disrespect of life
25:31 - Social 8 helping others see their power, recognizing individual impact can be a way of carrying on legacy
29:12 - Personal peeve on people asking for reassurance
32:44 - Taking risks, not being a slave to the system
40:27 - Self-actualization and potential; 836 trifix outlook of ‘this is what you have, this is what you work with’
42:03 - Emotional impacts and processing of being betrayed
53:15 - The personal importance and societal use of ‘diplomacy’
59:08 - 8’s boundlessness of motivation and reserves of energy
1:07:12 - ‘Vivifying’ the collective, channeling energy into others’ potential
1:17:25 - Outro
CREDITS
Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram5
Moses Williams (SO/SP 5w6 513) is back for round two, and we dive straight into what he calls “the mortifying stuff.” We explore the dissonance of being autistic and socially wired — craving connection but feeling like a fish trying to fly. Moses speaks candidly about navigating sexual arousal alongside the fear of being seen as creepy or delusional, and what it’s like to experience intense desire as someone who’s sexual blind. He names his instinct to hide, control, and strategize, and what happens when that scaffolding starts to crack. We talk about being a triple competency type (513), the impulse to do everything alone, and the sharp suspicion that other people just get in the way. But then something unexpected happens: Moses softens. What starts as a conversation about childhood patterns and self-analysis ends in a rare emotional opening, as Moses entertains the dangerous hope that someone might actually want to stay.
LINKS
Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Intro
11:33 - Differentiating type 5 and autism
22:09 - Social needs and a fascination with psychology
24:44 - Moses shares personal stories relating to early forms of type structure
32:33 - Giving sexual preferences space as opposed to suppressing
42:00 - Taking responsibility for the self
47:03 - Type 5 expanding on the obsession with animals
54:54 - Social hexad displaying ‘shocking’ parts up front
59:20 - Triple competency’s reliance on self and mistrust in others
1:07:49 - The spirit of collaboration as a competency type
1:15:03 - Releasing hope hiding underneath strategy
1:31:24 - Outro
CREDITS
Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram5
Moses Williams is an 18-year-old Social/Self-Pres 5w6 who is also on the autism spectrum. Moses describes growing up feeling that adults were hiding the truth, that essential information was missing, and that everyone else somehow knew how to be human in a way he didn’t. We talk about his often obsessive fascination with taboo topics—pornography, sexual deviance, violence—not to provoke, but to answer the horrifying question: “Am I stupid for not knowing this already?” He recounts a personal collapse that left him with three options: become a sanitized version of himself, disappear entirely, or dismantle and reform collective assumptions entirely. This conversation also explores intellectual separatism, the pressure to adapt to norms that feel senseless, and the slow, reluctant emergence of a heart that wants something real. This episode contains references to pornography, sexual deviance, and suicide. Listener discretion advised.
LINKS
Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/ @houseofenneagram
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Intro
02:56 - Introduction to enneagram, being a loner, interested in psychology to understand people
06:20 - Animals animals animals and being intrigued by fear
09:37 - Family background, being introduced to the internet, questioning traditional beliefs
13:17 - Stigmas around sex and sexuality, parsing through frameworks of deviancy
15:52 - Reading provocative books, fascination through frustration and not being naive, needing obsessions
22:56 - ‘Worst moment of life’, social incompetence
28:08 - Difficulty adapting, doing it ‘my way’ and making it work, “the way I do teamwork is by not working with people”
31:54 - Trying to figure out place in the world, ‘becoming sanitized’, stripping out people’s assumptions
35:35 - Power dynamics, finding compatibility
42:09 - Conceptualizing an ideal world, determinism, looking for something real
45:47 - Social relationships allow ‘getting to the heart’, loneliness and regret
50:23 - Being more competent at relationships, fear of feelings influencing self-image
58:51 - Realizing when type 5 isn’t actually talking about themselves, speaking about people in an abstraction
1:05:40 - Differing energies with self and others, divine resonating frequencies, obsessions
1:09:04 - Coming out story, viewing family as a collection of people forced to live together, “this is who I am, deal with it”
1:17:22 - Transformation of current social dynamics, ‘shutting up’, finding the people who ‘tolerate me’
1:23:22 - Differences between being on the autism spectrum and being a type 5
1:30:57 - Outro
CREDITS
Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtype #enneagram5
Julie (SP/SO 1w2 126) says being an Enneagram One is like trying to control the lightning bolt you’re riding. We talk about how her pursuit of competence — in painting, music, and even dog training — brought early success but gradually drained the joy from each pursuit. She shares what it’s like to live in a body wired for precision and pressure, and how that rigidity eventually led to serious health issues after she threw herself into an activist cause. We explore how she navigates moral complexity not through rules, but through a somatic “yes,” and how her 2-fix allows her to “see people’s souls.” Throughout the conversation, she highlights something rarely said about Ones: their sharp, absurd sense of humor that helps her stay connected to lightness and levity.
LINKS
Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Intro
03:04 - Julie’s journey as an artist
17:51 - Creativity and excellence as a Type 1
22:43 - 1’s rigidity in music
28:52 - Being a frustration type in the body center
31:44 - 1w2 “rightness of action”
34:18 - Type 2/2fix “tracking emotional data points”
44:08 - Casting judgment or seeing soul?
49:27 - Julie’s relationship to criticality
57:26 - Advocacy at the expense of personal health
1:00:47 - “Primordial Perfection”
1:04:43 - Detecting anxiety as a body type
1:08:23 - The humor and absurdism of 1
1:17:25 - Outro
CREDITS
Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram1
Kim (SO/SP 8w7 863) joins us for an intimate and unguarded exploration of the inner world of Eight — where sovereignty is survival, connection is a gamble, and straight talk is an act of love. From the first moments, Kim’s presence is unmistakable: a force of nature, all-in from the outset, inviting others to meet her at full throttle. We explore the emotional paradox at the heart of the Social Eight — the innocent hope that others will meet her with the same raw honesty she offers, the crushing self-blame that follows when that trust proves misplaced, and the instinct to amputate not just relationships but parts of her own soul in self-protection. We delve into the Eight’s preemptive numbing, the hardened stance of being the gatekeeper of her world, and the quiet grief of being valued only for what she gives — not for who she is. Kim’s story is a vivid portrait of Eight’s vulnerability beneath the armor, and of the slow, courageous return to wholeness.
LINKS
Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/@UCPiABQQQE4Ret7cwmy-GmRA
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Intro
2:08 - BOOM; here it is, 8w7 energy
6:41 - “I’m not a law of nature, I’m a force of it"
14:31 - Rejection core; cutting parts off, self-hatred
20:16 - Living as a social hexad type in a world of attachment types
26:41 - 8 and naiveté
34:35 - Social controlling, “I’m the queen of the chess board”
45:40 - Black and white mindset, 8s relationship to anger
54:07 - “You care about what I am, not who I am”, rejection and usefulness
1:02:08 - Anger vs. indifference and their role in care
1:06:52 - Understanding delusional or realistic boundaries
1:13:16 - Apologetic 8, integrity
1:22:00 - Forgiveness and innocence
1:26:11 - Outro
CREDITS
Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram8
Alice (SO/SP 9w1 973) joins us for a profound and poetic exploration of the inner world of Nine — where the background environment can overshadow the self, and the longing isn’t for pleasure, but for the peace of never having been born. We dive into the quiet ache for pre-conscious coziness, the hesitance to disturb reality with one’s presence, and the existential ambivalence at the heart of Nine structure: Do I really want to exist? Alice reflects on the invisible toll of absorbing the world’s energies, the disorienting effects of nightlife work, and the shattering aftermath of real connection gone silent. Her story is a journey of individuation and the slow integration of disparate parts of herself — from coming out as trans, to seeing herself mirrored in others’ self-suppression, and ultimately, to saying yes to life.
LINKS
Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Intro
02:24 - Alice’s current life context
08:17 - Being an extremely sensitive person, social 9 absorbing the environment
17:25 - “Swirling in your own cauldron” of the 9-7 stem
28:17 - “Ruining” the tapestry, 9w1 ethics
35:03 - 9s return to the womb; the desire to be unborn
44:03 - Saying ‘yes’ to experience
46:36 - Childhood
53:27 - Living as a trans woman
1:05:28 - Submitting my whole self to gaze - social instinct, type 3, type 9
1:11:11 - Seeing myself in another’s self-suppression
1:33:53 - Opting out of autopilot and serving a new vision for life
1:49:31 - Outro
CREDITS
Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9
Sarah’s Type 6 mind moves fast—so fast it can create instant connection and obscure deeper intimacy. In this episode, she unpacks the whirlwind: the pull between independence and support, the trap of victimhood, and how unchecked reactivity nearly derailed a past relationship. With raw honesty, she explores self-sabotage, emotional spirals, and the slow work of learning self-trust. This is a conversation about growing beyond fear into real, grounded connection.
LINKS
Sarah's Music https://open.spotify.com/artist/6VAheMN9FSGheExTVAlBXD?si=rbz8XlbPQqaQx3mEr9De0A
The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Intro
03:08 - Reviewing the “bullet points”
07:39 - Therapy, working on self-needs rather than attachment structure reflecting needs of others
10:07 - What’s hard about ‘touching ground’
25:11 - Victim mentality, self-sabotage, and type 6 ‘underdog’
32:43 - Reactive attachment
39:41 - Seeking a dimension of parental qualities in partners
47:20 - 6 dividing from one extreme pole to the other, finding balance in the center
52:28 - 6s entitlement of collective ‘markers’
1:02:42 - The horror of “it’s all 6, it always has been”
1:17:50 - Outro
CREDITS
Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram6
Kalla Mort shares her jaw-dropping story of escaping the high control religion of her youth (read: cult) and coming out as queer. This is an incredibly rich exploration of Attachment in the Mental Center, and how Type 6 navigates revolutions of core beliefs. Enjoy.
LINKS
Learn at The Enneagram School
https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course
https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Get Typed
https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams)
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Intro
2:17 - Growing up in high control religion, 6 attachment in head center
8:30 - Young 6 strategizing, ‘selling out’ in religion, theater life
10:21 - Sexuality in a purity culture
13:23 - IBLP, Gotthard, being a mouthpiece for collective ideals
24:56 - Awakening to identity
33:15 - Christian ‘beacon of love’ vs. personal visceral truth
46:03 - Dissociation of the attachment types
50:41 - Mental health, conversion therapy
55:10 - 6 ‘copy-paste’ discernment
1:04:21 - Psychosomatic symptoms of body/mind incongruence
1:13:49 - The mental center as a prison for the heart
1:31:45 - Deconstruction
1:38:13 - Weaponizing faith
1:51:02 - Getting ‘too big’ for old constructs
1:55:12 - Esoteric healing methods
2:02:25 - 6’s mistrust of the mental center
2:18:38 - “My biggest savior is my biggest sin - subjectivity”
2:25:56 - Outro
CREDITS
Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
--- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram6
Sara Pryde (SP/SX 6w7 614), trauma-informed massage therapist, joins us from Wyoming. We dive into the existential crisis sparked when her partner didn't finish his weekly banana quota—forcing her into making muffins against her will. Plus, we unpack how Sara, as SP/SX armed with all three frustration types (1, 4, 7), meticulously crafts her ideal cozy cocoon, yet accidentally projects being more socially "available" than she ever truly feels. Enjoy.
LINKS
Sara’s Website (Massage Therapy, Astrology, Blog)
https://www.sarapryde.com/
Learn at The Enneagram School
https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course
https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Get Typed
https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams)
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Intro
03:08 - Nervous interview ‘bubbling’, 6-1 stem not managing the stress
09:28 - Social blind “I don’t like being a person”, being perceived, “I have to be mythic”
17:22 - Massage therapy, curating perfect environment
22:38 - Conflicts in Type Structure, 6 can’t cut off from service and security
29:24 - Comfort is not health, coming up for air as sp/sx
33:41 - “Security” as Self-preservation 6
34:55 - “Muffin Madness”: social blind frustration
49:32 - Not holding a socially collective reasoning
57:24 - Accidental availability as a 6, despite social blind
1:01:19 - Childhood
1:14:18 - Self-Reliance as Type 6, Anchoring to meaning-making maps
1:19:41 - 6s inner zig-zag, different ‘parts’ conflicting thoughts/statements
1:30:48 - Outro
CREDITS
Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram6
In this candid Enneagram interview, Kate (SO/SX 7w8 793) discusses her identity as an "entitled brat," her allergy to drudgery and limitation, and her dream (since she was young) of being a "kept woman." She also shares how therapy helped her distinguish between "fun negative" (entertainment) and "real negative" (trauma), allowing her to process difficult emotions rather than "bouncing" away from them. Enjoy.
Learn at The Enneagram School
https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course
https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Browse More Interviews by Type
https://www.theenneagramschool.com/enneagram-interviews-and-panels
Get Typed
https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Timestamps
00:00 - Intro
03:59 - Outlook on what Kate does in life, not tracking self-preservation linearly
07:03 - Frustration of 7, not ‘hippy dippy’
13:22 - “I live in the land of Kate”, Type 7 relationship to freedom, theater of negativity masks "real" negativity
20:34 - No super-ego; fighting reality
22:13 - Friendship as a social 7, having fun and dealing with shit, reciprocity
28:01 - Being a ‘brat’, wanting to be a ‘kept woman’, freedom from ‘have-to’s’
33:29 - SP blind 7: no shame in others caring for them
37:31 - Being assertive, getting ‘in trouble’ as a framework
42:10 - Being loved more than loving
45:23 - Harry Potter addiction, proxy for SP grounding
48:31 - Therapy, letting in past hurts, not bouncing out of pain
55:21 - Seeing memories in new light, somatic connections
1:09:40 - Outro
CREDITS
Interview by Josh Lavine
Edited by Kristen Oberly
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram7
Anna Palumbo (SO/SP 9w8 937) is a Type 9 mother who has been undergoing a profound transformation—untangling herself from patterns of enmeshment and reconnecting with her own life-force. In this episode, we focus on Anna’s relationship with her Type 6 daughter and how her Type 9 tendency to merge initially obscured her ability to be present with her daughter's reactivity. We also explore the Positive Outlook reflex of Type 9 and its dynamic tension with the "point-out-the-problem" and "raise-the-alarm" tendency of Type 6. Anna brings remarkable clarity, grace, and self-awareness to this discussion, offering a rare, high-resolution look at the inner experience of a 9 navigating parenthood and the individuation journey. Enjoy this powerful conversation.
Learn at The Enneagram School
https://theenneagramschool.com/
Intro Course
https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Browse More Interviews by Type
https://www.theenneagramschool.com/enneagram-interviews-and-panels
Get Typed
https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Timestamps
00:00 - Intro 04:53 - Anna's attachment journey as a mom
08:21 - 9 mom absorbing 6 daughter's reactive processing
12:02 - Slowing down & attuning to self
13:40 - Holding boundaries as a gut type, anchoring to self
16:36 - "An incredible return of energy"
18:36 - The porousness of 9's nervous system, fogginess & infusion
20:56 - Positive type reframe (2, 7, 9) amputates emotional experiences
21:48 - Attachment type fusion (3, 6, 9)
27:28 - Going on autopilot, 9 dissociation
28:26 - 9w8 rejection, shutting down of external stimuli
30:16 - Self-locating via music and art
33:04 - Why it's hard for 9s to be with someone else's pain
36:07 - Josh's mom is a 9w8
40:56 - Positive reframe to keep hope alive, not get "lost" in pain
43:36 - Resensitizing means being more aware of misses
45:19 - Can my relationships bear the new me? -- Hurdles of attachment types returning to themselves
47:40 - 9w8 bluntness shuts down communications
52:48 - Relationship dynamics changing, not needing to be on the same page
55:12 - Saying yes & no without over-explaining
55:46 - Loyalty to self a valuable thing
1:03:11 - 9s integration line to types 3 and 6, valuing oneself & being awake
1:06:45 - New level of relaxation, not trying so hard to keep inner and outer world separate
1:10:47 - Outro
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9
Janice is a life-coach and an Enneagram 3, and at the time of this interview she is 84 years old. We explore her past relationships, the life-long inner tension between doing "what's expected of me" vs "what I want," and what parts of the Type 3 structure still drive her at her life stage. Enjoy.
The Enneagram School
https://theenneagramschool.com/
Our Intro Course
https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Timestamps
0:00 - Intro
2:40 - Janice's Enneagram history
6:40 - "I can do anything I want to do", the little engine that could
10:00 - Freedom vs the 'shoulds' of life
11:51 - Stances of 'withholding' throughout life; power or protection
13:50 - Rebelling against pressures, superego vs authentic kindness
16:03 - Being nice or feeling responsible, 'not needing' blocks ability to receive
17:08 - "I'm an Amazon woman"... NOT a "little old lady" -- and, shifting to receive
22:07 - Type 3 framework, needing to be seen as valuable and admirable, "the drive for the fundamental"
29:25 - Janice's relationship with growing old, trusting the body, growing intensity
32:55 - Memory, removing the clutter, trusting in presence
36:19 - Relationships, frustration/anger, 7's difficulty with processing 'darker' emotions
39:57 - Going through Janice's four relationships
43:49 - Getting out of a depression, looking at mindsets objectively
46:22 - Taking care of someone in decline, the freedom of stepping back
49:02 - Being in the happiest time of life, having no shame in answering questions, being at peace with the 'lacking' parts of self
58:25 - Outro
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram3 #enneagramtype3 #enneagraminterview
Mariona M (SX/SO 9w1 973) is a language activist in Catalonia. In the first phase of this conversation, we explore her complex relationship with crying to process emotional backlog, and how her type's pattern of reaching for deeper self-understanding in order to soothe herself can, ironically, create more inner turbulence. In the second phase, we ground ourselves, and Mariona's essence as an SX 9 comes through. Enjoy.
Mariona's Link Tree
https://linktr.ee/marionamiretlanguages
Browse Interviews by Type & Instincthttps://www.theenneagramschool.com/enneagram-interviews-and-panels
The Enneagram Schoolhttps://www.theenneagramschool.com/
Master the Enneagram (Online Course)
https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Timestamps
00:38 - Intro
03:56 - Self-preservation blind interview set-up
05:51 - Personal process 'is precious', "I am my own home now"
08:24 - Taking self-responsibility for stress, experiencing exhaustion, being sensitive
10:35 - 'The base is always a fragility', crying as a helpful workout
18:18 - Type 9 absorption, sexual instinct need for a discharge
21:56 - Pain "wanting" to be experienced
25:17 - Reaching catharsis, expressing 'messages' of feeling and truths
28:51 - Being a channel for personal discoveries
33:54 - The 'Snow Globe' Effect, living in fantasy rather than enacting it in reality
40:22 - Settling the snow globe of the interview
47:44 - Type 3 attached to conversation productivity, 7 fix flipping tables, Mariona sings from a book
53:38 - Seduction/hooking or flirting with life
57:25 - Demanding/needing attention, sharing openly and being oneself
1:01:37 - Being seduced by creative spontaneity
1:06:16 - Taking ownership of qualities that shine
1:08:27 - Reflection and coming to a close
1:11:41 - Outro
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
#enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9
John Luckovich and I (Josh Lavine) are RELEASING OUR INTRO ENNEAGRAM COURSE. In this conversation, we talk about what it was like working together as a Social 3 and a Sexual 4.
We're very proud of the course. Official release is Jan 6, 2025, but you can buy it during our holiday presale at 50% OFF of the founding members price(through Dec 31). Link below.
https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course
Timestamps
00:00 Intro
01:57 Josh is burned out, editing is done, intro course is ready
04:17 Josh and John "access" the Enneagram differently
08:35 Josh's SO 3 ability to organize and communicate effectively
10:36 John's 4w5 way of teaching from the inner labyrinth
14:00 How the Enneagram lives inside us
15:30 Two heart type teachers, attention to identity and emotional landscape
18:03 Clarifying unexplored Enneagram terms
20:06 How surprisingly hard it was to create an intro course
24:23 Next steps for the Enneagram School
31:39 Why we did audio not video course
37:33 The course e-book
40:45 Why you should listen to this thing that we worked on!
43:07 Enneagram not just useful "at work" or "in relationships," but wherever people are
45:18 Use this course to start from the roots
49:09 Outro
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram3 #enneagram4
In this episode, Nicholas (SP/SO 9w1 936) talks about 9's passivity in relation to their dominant instinct and how they can "hope things just work themselves out." He also talks about how he learned to focus, take himself seriously, and summon the discipline to manifest his life vision.
He also works through an intense caffeine spike in self-pres 9 fashion, so you can see in realtime as Nicholas narrates his 9 way of containing the intensity of his experience within an acceptable window of tolerance, or "envelope function."
Couldn't have written it better. Enjoy!
Watch this interview on YouTube to observe body language and other type cues
Learn the Enneagram at The Enneagram School
Timestamps
0:00 Intro
4:11 Learning the Enneagram & mistyping
5:48 Enneagram as weed addiction substitute; something to "latch onto" - body attachment
7:13 9 "leveling" of experience, finding the optimal intensity
9:09 body vs image - what I say depends on how it feels in my body
10:05 Celcius caffeine hitting now, suppressing it within the 9 envelop function
15:24 Time Management, Discipline creates freedom
19:01 freedom as autonomy of the body center
22:16 Being mental last, mind vs body agendas battling; "crazy concept called a budget"
26:04 taking my projects seriously rather than letting it "figure itself out"; 9 passivity relative to dominant instinct
30:06 Relationship motivation to make life improvements - not wanting to be told what to do, but to come to it myself
34:01 What happens when you're told what to do?
40:18 golf is life?
42:03 9 line to 3 - Nicholas' life vision
49:41 Domains of obsessiveness
53:44 9 dispersion of attention keeps life force diffuse; 9 -> 3 is focusing attention
1:00:08 Josh's similarities; 3-9 stem up front
1:03:04 Prioritizing as 9 Engagement, yet paradox -- beware priorities coming from 9-3 ego vs God, grace, higher self
1:10:08 9 "I don't matter" --> others should prioritize ME more; 9 ego - not wanting to be ignored (disrespected)
1:12:58 faith as anchor for self-remembering
1:16:00 How enneagram can reinforce personality instead of liberate to focus on what's really important
1:20:31 The Celsius Drink Finale!
Siena Hassett [SX/SO 8w7 827] is a Theatre Maker, Movement Artist, and someone who really embodies the virtue of the 8 -- Innocence: the joyful unselfconscious expression of one's life-force, and the willingness to be affected by one's environment. Siena is so alive and engaging, and I couldn't help but be moved by her wide open presence in this conversation. I really appreciate how we moved from "caricaturing" her 8ness in the first 15 minutes to unveiling her real sensitivity and heart, especially as we explore her relationship to her art -- and how we navigated that transition together. I'm very proud to release this conversation. This is what it's all about. Enjoy.
https://sienahassett.com/
www.theenneagramschool.com
www.joshlavine.com
Listen as podcast: https://www.joshlavine.com/podcasts/what-it-s-like-to-be-you/episodes/2148078776
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
2:54 Open ended start: what's your type and why is it true? "Going through the object"
7:10 8 connection to action
11:20 Fear of "deadness," Amping up the situation
15:11 Taking a minute; new direction: life story from college
20:13 Movement art; why apply to corporeal mime school?
21:44 Professor: "I miss having you cry in class."
23:33 Radical decision, moving for this program; "It's what the work needed," SX instinct
26:45 Program before/after, sense of ease, freedom
29:22 Why so passionate about movement art? "It's what my body wants to do"
31:23 Alive moments with the audience; being with the people that night -- my favorite thing
34:08 "What it is tonight"; "What's here right now?"
39:05 Enneagram boxiness vs aliveness -- exploring Siena as an artist reveals her 8 gifts; exploring Siena as an 8 lends to caricature
42:58 Being in the river; quality of stillness
43:55 What does it feel like when the search (for aliveness) isn't going well?
47:05 Legs
51:32 This moment feels really beautiful
56:42 Why do we forget to be present? 58:47 Picking fights -- what's it like? why does it happen?
1:05:47 Mystery of fighting -- sometimes useful, sometimes not; over- and under-expressing anger
1:08:24 "My body gets so hot inside so fast"; Hard to sit with the anger; 2 stories - retail, & guy with a dog
1:12:39 Inner work for 8; expanding window of tolerance for the heat, not being run by the reflex
1:18:21 Innocence of the 8
1:19:39 What was this like for you?
1:21:26 Birth story -- fighting for my life
1:25:14 When I feel received, I can receive
1:26:41 Final thoughts & thank yous
--
enneagram #enneagram8 #enneagramtypes #enneagrameight #enneagramtype8
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Alexandra Arroyo-Acevedo [SO/SP 9w1 963] is a brilliant Enneagram thinker with a very evocative and inspiring triple attachment life story. There’s no one I trust more to explain Attachment from the inside. Alexandra’s insights have been transformative for me, and for many in our community. Find her on the Big Hormone Enneagram podcast, on YouTube doing Enneagram breakdowns of the Bachelorette, and on her website, where you can book a natal chart reading with her as well.
Alexandra's Website: http://saturnruled9.com/
Alexandra's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@saturnruled9
Big Hormone Enneagram Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/big-hormone-enneagram/id1493756268
The Enneagram School: www.theenneagramschool.com
Josh Lavine: www.joshlavine.com
Watch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/EhHqHEIJdqU
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
3:49 Attachment Support Group Plug
6:03 What happened the first time we tried this interview
10:05 What's different now?
13:23 The importance of being witnessed in playful unself-conscious states
17:08 Prompt: Alexandra’s life story as an SO Bermuda 9
18:56 I was passively accepting, not "choosing" friends / romantic partners
20:42 "Who am I to say no?" - absence of red flags, not looking for green flags; unpacking the word “danger”
24:43 Ex-fiance was "safe"; passively accepted his proposal (!); Attachment: saying yes to the possibility that we could one day be on the same page
29:50 Social 9 -- Not revealing my full mind when others’ eyes gloss over; my inner self not a match for my environment, so I don't put it out there; why 9 needs to go to 3
35:22 Attachment victimhood self-deception: "You're not making space for me" vs I'm withholding myself
37:24 Prolonging relationship: "I was really good at dividing myself”
39:03 The "atomic bomb,” meeting John; Alexandra’s self-revival through online chats about Enneagram; going to New York “the first real action ever took for myself;” framing it to myself as "It's no big deal, if it doesn't work out, I'll just come back home" preemptive defense against being affected
46:20 Numbness prevents 9 from realizing how hungry their soul is; lifeforce has intelligence independent of personality re: what's nourishing / renewing for it
50:58 The lightning strike moment, radical (fast!) change, and the illusion that I've conquered attachment
57:01 How Attachment patterns crept back in
1:00:45 Being anchored to a new rung on the consciousness ladder; not wanting to abandon your new self-sense
1:02:48 Ambivalence toward astrology from being pinned as an "astrology person" -- private sacred interest now exposed to gaze that revs attachment/performance engine
1:08:55 The "practice" of unself-conscious play
1:10:28 Autonomy insistence of 9; making free choices without pressure; knowing that a choice is "mine," made by me
1:13:59 John's mirroring of me to myself, yet constantly re-attuning to what I'm excited by
1:19:05 Social intimacy, choosing and being chosen from your constituted center, grief about emotionally distant friendships, that pattern changing
1:27:41 Sweet Friendship moments
1:30:47 What's this been like? (& how long it took to get this interview, ha!; sign off)
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
#enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9 #enneagramtype9 #enneagraminterview #9w1
Kristen Oberly [SO/SP 9w1 963] is an exceptionally gifted dream analyst, artist, and guide for the unconscious realm. We explore her misdiagnosis with paranoid schizophrenia, her bouts with depersonalization, and the way she has come back home to herself by following her fascination with the unconscious. A very interesting and particular case of Social Bermuda 9, but the core 9 themes are certainly here: numbness, dissociation, and coming back to life by following the natural flow of my life force.
To Find Kristen –
Personal Website: https://www.inkstoryrebel.com/
Sinsomnia Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/cz/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994
Josh's Links –
www.theenneagramschool.com
www.joshlavine.com
Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Cr6-ZCd6z-Y
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
5:27 When two bermudas meet; You've made a spash; original contributions: dreams, trifix art -- SO tracking "how people earn respect in this group," getting typed
9:48 Lurking in groups; do you feel like one now? "in shock" that my contribution went anywhere
12:55 Interview anchor points: typing, misdiagnosis paranoid schizophrenia; depersonalization; living in "alternate dimension"
15:22 "She's in her own little world" growing up; hallucinations
19:40 What is paranoid schizophrenia?; relief in diagnosis, being located, "this is what I am," a thing to tell others
23:11 "Betrayal of all 3 centers"
26:10 Timeline of diagnosis & symptoms; what's depersonalization?
32:10 9-ness and depersonalization
35:35 What's helped?
37:30 Guinea pigs screaming -- a dream example that helped you come home to your body
42:31 Physical reality not affecting me, but unconscious dream world waking me up (literally)
45:02 Toggling on/off of existing; checking out
48:05 Genuine inspiration of dreams calling you back alive; Avatar Kristen, interfacing spirit world and physical reality
54:12 SO 9 - fear of making others uncomfortable?
58:38 Kristen's flow state; mastery & precision, poking the nerve, freedom from typology in her moments of interpreting dreams
1:04:52 Kristen's dark witchy vibe & "bite" contrasted with "harmonious" 9 vibe
1:10:16 Kristen's 9 Bermuda Swirl vs Josh's 3 version
1:15:48 Kristen's Art Bermuda Swirl, honing in on "archetypal" art
1:19:46 The Bermuda Swirl's Intelligence
1:26:37 What’s this been like?
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9 #enneagramtype9 #enneagraminterview #9w1
Round 2 with Sarah [SO/SP 9w1 937]. A conversation ABOUT our last conversation, and a very personal look at both of our attachment games. I loved this.
Josh's Links:
www.theenneagramschool.com
www.joshlavine.com
Sarah's Links:
Music: https://open.spotify.com/artist/0ttrZbIpLCXW7hjanhv7H8
Music: https://slagoona.bandcamp.com/
Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3x6KJ6TppG3LC9ySqFDLOs
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/slagoona_/
Watch on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/vaZ95yqyUSg
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
3:29 Setting up the convo -- why we're here
7:56 First clip
9:53 Sarah pauses. "Floating on the river of meaning" swirling & managing the swirls
15:36 Second clip
16:45 Josh pauses. The moment I almost interrupted, and Sarah feels it.
17:38 More clip
20:16 Sarah pauses. Sarah's SO/SP "preachiness," desire to embrace universal themes
23:27 Sarah: "I kept going because I wasn't sure if you agreed with me"
25:54 "It's all good babe just hold on!"
27:11 The need to have all parts of me known and held (9)
29:48 More clip -- The Shift moment 31:13 Josh pauses. His skepticism that Sarah was connected to herself
33:22 Sarah: the insecurity around being perceived as insincere; calling out 9 dispersion
34:59 SO 9 desperation for social holding; Schema: want social holding -- don't get it -- disperse & numb -- harder to feel if/when I get held now
40:58 You want holding from me, but also you're angry with me -- Attachment games
44:59 Sarah getting social holding back by playing into my frame, "impressing me"
48:54 More clip -- Sarah: "I felt like I was being called a phony"
50:18 More clip -- Josh's "unskillful question"
54:20 Josh takes a breath -- his attachment pattern alive right now
59:09 More clip: "I'm saying what I think you want me to say"
1:00:28 Sarah's desire for more bobble-headedness (familiar social holding); Josh's reflex to self-recrimination when I made someone angry, "what could I have done better?" -- that question being self-abandoning in service of re-attachment strategy!; Josh's version of sarah's "cozying up"
1:06:00 The last 3 min; "I feel like I passed your test"
1:09:27 Attachment 101: Rupture and Repair Cycles; Complexity around Sincerity
1:11:12 Final moments of the interview & the necessity of this conversation to complete the repair
1:15:51 What is trust?
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
--- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9 #enneagramtype9 #enneagraminterview #9w1
Sarah [SO/SP 9w1 937] is getting her PhD in psychology en route to becoming a therapist. In this conversation, Sarah is quite open and courageous in sharing what it's like for her on the inside of her "swirly 9-7 stem" energy and speaking style and her positive outlook vibes. We also how she accidentally gaslights partners without knowing it, because of how she can blur inner fantasy with outer reality. (I love this part.) We also hit a really interesting conversational glitch that put both of our type patterns on display. We unpack this in a follow up conversation, so stay tuned for round 2.
Josh's Links:
www.theenneagramschool.com
www.joshlavine.com
Sarah's Links:
Music: https://open.spotify.com/artist/0ttrZbIpLCXW7hjanhv7H8
Music: https://slagoona.bandcamp.com/
Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3x6KJ6TppG3LC9ySqFDLOs
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/slagoona_/
Watch Interview on YouTube:https://youtu.be/g6kqGXegvB0
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
2:16 Getting typed, Sarah's typing journey
12:35 Positive outlook of Sarah's 9-7 stem; the facebook group's reaction to her "was an emotional event"
15:56 3 fix, wanting to be / be seen as competent, "let me join the cool kids," show people I can hang
20:02 Sarah's swirling inner cauldron of associations speaking style
22:22 One reason 9s identify as 4
23:23 Eating disorder, psychological function of controlling my attractiveness... but being labeled "sexual blind"; beauty standards more social than sexual
25:39 Why are you a 9 and not a 4? Attachment
29:14 Tone policing as SO 9w1 "asking" the environment to hold me better (socially)
30:24 Attachment to disconnect in long-term relationship; Fantasy & wanting/hoping others will show up differently
36:16 Anger as "no," finding your no
39:12 Positive Outlook "spin"; "People can't worry about me" -- I have to be okay; performative empathy/positivity "vs" sincere optimism
45:42 Unprocessed negativity comes out in close relationships (mom, partner); "I would save that all for them"; the Security Point
53:50 The fantasy image of a relationship, blurring fantasy and reality
57:17 Gaslighting & fantasy; the little girl hoping, "maybe maybe maybe," wishing reality will manifest my fantasy; "But it's always been this way" in my mind
1:03:20 The moment: How are you feeling right now? A disconnect -- a splash, a disruption of the social groove ... and the next few minutes, navigating this
1:05:34 I need others to be listening to me well, so I can be clear in my thinking
1:09:31 Saturated in presence vs dispersed
1:14:29 Power being grounded, concentrated, or "up" and dispersed; tapering
1:18:47 Sarah expressing anger at me! (yes!)
1:20:36 Tapering demo; attachment dynamic: building bridges to others' inner worlds, not trusting they'll want to come to mine
1:23:26 The pain of separating, having melded into this conversation. A mini grief.
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9 #enneagramtype9 #enneagraminterview #9w1
Jamie (SP/SO 9w1 963) is an gifted cinematographer, an aspiring therapist, and a good friend that I met in my first Enneagram class. He has committed to his inner work in extremely courageous ways and has great language for the inner experience of 9-ness, especially what it's like to "numb out," to drift into invisibility, and to speak up for himself in relationships. This is a great, user friendly introduction to 9ness. Enjoy.
Jamie's website: https://eicharphotography.com/
My website: https://www.joshlavine.com/
YouTube: https://youtu.be/8Sw6T5Kq-vk
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
2:52 Easing into the interview
4:19 Enneagram origin story; the comfort of discovering my type; "felt like a blanket"
8:42 Feeling left behind wanting to be noticed, “nobody special”
11:54 "why aren't people asking me questions?" -- being in this interview now. "I'm talking a lot right now"; wanting attention and being terrified of it
14:28 Anger & “It’d be nice if people asked me questions.”
21:21 Being a nice guy, being a comforting presence, someone you trust; my “power” as a 9, when people feel like they can talk to me
25:34 People open up to me, but sometimes steamroll me; My trouble knowing what I have to say
29:35 the difficulty of Interrupting people; Conversational dynamics with 9s; 9s discovering their preferences by waiting
33:48 Speaking up; Taking responsibility to make the conversation safe for me
38:14 What fitness does for Jamie, 9s in the body center, susceptible to numbness, forgetting about the body, then “feeling” anger more
40:52 Numbness, avoiding problems, “forgetting I exist,” “I become the ipad”; YouTube Rabbit Holes; the rhythm of cycling through apps
47:09 Rebelling against "What I need to do"; sensitivity to pressure; difficulty of getting started
52:21 What gets you going?; hitting plateaus; creative inspiration
56:52 Empathy “out of my control” - merging, “getting caught up” in other’s emotions and what it means to have emotional boundaries; the complicated “niceness” of getting lost in an experience
1:02:03 On Commitment to practices, etc
1:04:43 Blending in vs standing out; "What's it like to own your coolness?"
1:08:22 What's this been like for you?
Music by Coma-Media from
Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9 #enneagramtype9 #enneagraminterview
Kaisa is a psychology and neuroscience graduate student and Enneagram enthusiast with an exceptional ability to articulate her experience of SX 9-ness. Enjoy.
My website: https://www.joshlavine.com/
The Interview on YouTube: https://youtu.be/7XmFOAa6zro
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
2:56 Kaisa's typing
5:10 Flatline (935) vs triple reactive (846) overlay, 9 core withdrawn vs 8 wing assertive + sexual dom need to broadcast self
9:53 SX 9 being hooked by something or catatonic
13:31 "When there's no juice, I go catatonic;" Using sharp objects to keep myself awake at school; Kaisa's flatline delivery of severe subjects
19:11 Head last energy
21:26 How are you feeling right now? (Regrounding, getting back to we-space)
24:33 Body vs head types processing in real-time
26:11 Difficult to rev my own engine, but it gets revved by SX things (SX 9 receptivity)
29:37 SX + double competence; collecting SX resources; eating so I smell good, sensitivity to smells
35:20 SX competency story -- collecting data
39:48 Soldier SX story; Transmuting anger into erotic release; self-regulation through sexual
47:44 Fulfilling SP blind needs via SX dom motivations
50:32 Out of body vs in body experience; re-inhabiting my body -- the 9 growth journey
53:31 Exploring SP blind; not recognizing mortality in our body
57:13 "Assertive" SX pursuit of crush with double withdrawn energy; & the SX/SO targeted magnetism dance 58:51 the urgency of SX dom
1:02:18 Boundaries & experiencing my distinctness 1:08:29 SX/SO "blurry friendships," different from Social
1:09:58 SX ecstasy, loss of self, now I can die in peace; Seeking "Essential Harmony" through SX
1:20:23 Renewing SX chemistry in stable relationships
1:24:49 Sexual chess; Advice for SX blinds
1:29:36 Closing, final reflections
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9 #enneagramtype9 #enneagraminterview
Gray and I have similar typing, and in this episode we explore what social 3 is "really wanting," underneath the stereotypical social 3's polish and comportment. This conversation gets to the heart of the Social 3 in a way that meant a lot to me personally. Enjoy.
Gray's YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/AugmentedPersonality
My website: https://www.joshlavine.com/
YouTube version: https://youtu.be/omMHtMOdB0g
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
3:05 Dropping in as social 3s; "camera on!" "I want to be real, but that doesn't mean my brain agrees that that's safe"; comfort in the metaconversation
6:22 Enneagram origin story; "essence" orientation & you're doing your type every 5 seconds; "I have to be an emblem of value"
13:07 3 going to 6; Sense of responsibility to bring this knowledge into the world; Surrendering your sword to something higher..
21:29 Triple-reactive adjacent 3 -- romanticizing my reactivity to make it an image I want to have, to give myself permission to be that way
30:57 Tracking other people
34:09 Gray's 6-fix inner ping pong ball, saying something and then reacting to what she just said, without prompting
36:14 9-fix vs 8-fix experience of social "vibe"; how secondary 6-fix supports Gray's "tracking"
44:40 Awareness of eyes on you; 8th grade performance story
50:15 Heart center & the gaze; when we're looking from behind our eyes at each other, all of a sudden, here we are together
52:56 What the social 3 is really wanting (!) beyond the song and dance (which is a bid for this)
56:45 Grief that the world is so dry of heart; frustration in the heart space
1:03:34 The "role and purpose of 3," according to Gray; seeing people accurately
1:09:55 Seeing & admiring preciousness; yet resisting "going there" with people
1:14:33 3's need for psychological safety as a precondition to show up -- and the growth for 3s to be authentic to BRING ABOUT psychological safety; risking being missed (the initial miss, to happen again)
1:21:12 What's this been like for you?
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram3 #enneagramtype3 #enneagraminterview
Sam is an essayist and poet who recently discovered he is a 7, having mistyped as a 4 for years. Before this interview, Sam sent me his beautifully articulated thoughts on being a 7 -- a link to which is below. This conversation explores the Gestalt Therapy session that "got underneath" Sam's mental buzzing and helped him encounter his lonely inner child. Sam is mid-process in a tectonic shift in his self-concept as he reconciles with his 7-ness and goes "back to feelings school." Sam lays our for us often hidden aspects of the 7 type structure -- especially the way talking about pain can prevent feeling it and the terror 7s feel of being with pain in a genuine way. A raw and courageous conversation, and a privilege to share it.
Sam's writing:
"Ocean: Notes on a Type 7 Flavored Attachment to Frustration" - https://docs.google.com/document/d/16mJQeqz2AGR0NpVDTI6nixbjxupyvEPd/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=116799482987663941632&rtpof=true&sd=true
Collage Poetry Collection: "Questions Children Ask" - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HiGIvVkl4aypmtsdSOWGTAIuT90Hxpdf/view?usp=sharing
YouTube version of interview: https://youtu.be/fK972ejVsy0
My website: https://www.joshlavine.com/
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
3:20 "Re-intro"
4:36 Enneagram origin, Mistyping as a 4, Learning his 7-ness
9:37 Sam's 7-ish "audition" for this interview; video & email
14:18 The therapy class that broke me (here through
20:24 The performative fun of therapy, excitement "like feeling carbonated in your body"
22:07 Gestalt Therapy: you're not talking about what I said, you're looking at the way that I "am" -- "Where's the loneliness in your body" -- "everywhere"
25:00 Vulnerability as an attraction strategy; "this is part of who I am, but I haven't wanted to know it for a long time"
29:24 The inner 12 year old boy wanted a hug; empty chair exercise
33:21 Pain as pleasure vs pain as pain; "Do you want me to live there? there's no oxygen, I can't breathe."
37:47 Confirmation bias re 7; "Life is sending me back to feelings school"; mental center good at language, feelings are preverbal
41:19 Knowing when feelings are real; 7 buoyancy vs 4... what? -- 4 energy as "fun" in doses
44:03 What will help you? "When it is appropriate to allow yourself to become undone?"
46:55 The difficulty of "being" in the same room as someone; relationships
49:59 Delaying pain by describing it skillfully -- the describing becomes primary, eclipsing the process
51:20 7 as "spraying" & superimposing interpretations, tone, mood, over the object of consideration
57:19 7 core with triple compliant (612) adjacent; freedom of expression "vs" self-censorship
1:02:41 Giving myself to writing & failing leading to transformation, participation in Creativity (capital C)
1:13:34 Reframing Sam's story through 7 lens (not 4)
1:19:27 How are you feeling & what's this been like?
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram7 #enneagramtype7 #enneagraminterview
Joseph Salteri is a Type 4 (SO/SX 4w3 461) and is part of the team that runs Enneagrammer.com. He wrote all of the (excellent) content on the Enneagrammer website, including the written typing test, and he is one of the trio of typing experts that runs Dark Arts Academy -- weekly classes where they take you under the hood of their experiential typing process by typing a celebrity in real-time. This conversation explores how Joseph experiences being a core frustration type in the heart center and why that results in a "resting attitude of disdain." The heart center is fundamentally about how we experience and express our identity, and Joseph's opening quote strikes me as what the 4 as a heart type is about: expressing my likes and dislikes as a way of "showing you who I am."
Joseph's writing: https://www.enneagrammer.com/
Joseph on Dark Arts Academy: https://www.enneagrammer.com/members-home
Enneagram[mer] Universe Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/enneagrammeruniverse
YouTube Version: https://youtu.be/m-W0mbzPTXs
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
4:14 Enneagram origin story
10:07 What makes you care so much about the Enneagram?
14:14 Disdain as a "natural resting state," but sometimes things surprise me
17:40 Enneagram at a head vs heart level; "as a heart type, the heart is blocked;" 4s are emotionally guarded, not "emotionally wet and open"
19:50 Not expecting to be "seen," only wanting to be seen by a certain kind of person (that I like)
22:17 What feeds your heart? -- music; also, heart talk making me want to vomit
24:48 On playing classical piano: I didn't "cultivate" musicianship -- "If it's work, I don't do it;" 3 vs 4 orientation to "work" or where I spend time
26:40 On playing piano for others: "Audiences are trash;" 4 not expecting to be seen, yet "I'd love for someone to hear/pay attention to me playing music that I love:" "The music IS me."
29:39 Joseph's love for classical music, Beethoven
31:16 Sincere love of X "vs" the image of being the kind of person who loves X
33:12 things you love that don't fit your image, and things that fit your image that you don't love; (e.g. admitting that I like harry potter -- "ew" why? retrospectively justifying it within my self-image)
37:31 Relationship with inner work: not doing inner work consciously... not really connecting with the spiritual side of the enneagram (& how that's helped with typing)
43:19 Journey as a gay man; coming out as a 4 vs 3; not being capable of lying for long; the gay "brand" being 7-ish; not attaching to staples of the gay world (frustration)
47:32 4's relationship with community and belonging -- subconsciously not feeling like I belong anywhere; social type fomo, wanting to have social contact, but only of a certain kind
50:58 Belonging I n Enneagrammer Universe community? wanting to curate an uncontaminated social place where there's nothing I don't like; the fantasy of a boundaried, space
55:50 Participating in public forums vs participating in "your" community that you helped create -- similar fantasy still at play, similar frustration and expectation of disappointment
57:34 Frustration as a powerful motivator
58:55 The image of being disdainful -- "It feels true" -- the importance of it being true; a way of revealing myself
1:03:21 Expressing that you love or hate something both showing you who I am
1:04:44 Catching myself being inauthentic (3 vs 4)
1:07:31 If I'm not telling you the truth, it's because I don't care enough to get into it with you
1:11:03 3 vs 4 navigating moment to moment the desire to be seen in a particular way
1:14:17 Awareness of how you're seen in the facebook group; assuming people love David and Emeka more
1:17:25 Fearing I'll get into a conversation with someone and be disgusted by them, or disappointed by their taste; 4-1 stem severity, avoiding contamination, everything is a likely contaminant
1:23:00 What's this been like for you? Hard talking about myself, not about "types" in abstractions; my instinct is to hide, to not want to expose myself; have to get past the assumption that you won't understand me & the disdain layer (of you, of this, etc) in order to answer the question from a real place
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Ikraam Ali is a Type 7 (SO/SX 7w6 793) who works in local politics. She also has her own YouTube channel focused on Objective Personality System (OPS). This conversation challenged the stereotype of 7s as “positive” types and reframed the 7 pattern “positive outlook” way of being from a frustration lens — in particular, frustration with negativity, which paradoxically creates its own kind of negativity. We get into deep territory here: Ikraam’s relationship with negativity itself and her bout with depression, and aspects of her telling of the story surfaced aspects of the 7 personality, which Ikraam explored gracefully in real time.
Ikraam’s YouTube Channel, skib n mope: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCJSIvPgvDJwao-ssyXrJLw
Enneagram[mer] Universe Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/enneagrammeruniverse
Watch Interview on YouTube: https://youtu.be/HjkwZQXIlow
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
2:53 Enneagram origin story
5:22 "Taste Testing" her way to the Enneagram; OPS & Enneagram really capturing her
8:54 Being satiated by an interest; 7 line to 5; a funny moment: "can I swear here?”
11:56 Enneagram as "depressing," it's a "horrifying hobby" not a fun one
15:48 7 not exactly 'positive'; procrastinating darkness, not metabolizing negativity (really good definitional stuff)
18:05 Using the word "depression" lightly yet referencing deep pain;
19:07 Seeing negativity and wanting to be positive "makes you negative"; sensitivity to others "giving up" on being happy
20:38 7 as frustration type, contrasts with 1 & 4
22:42 Envisioning a better future; Kid Cudi's (a 7) songs get negative but focus or "tend toward" an uplifting vision or possibility
26:04 Somatic buoyancy, inner teflon; “How do you feel right now, talking about negativity?”
29:02 Fixated on "keeping things interesting"; the horror of boredom. Religious stories -- "stimulating" hellfire & brimstone vs boring repeats
34:50 Freedom vs Joy / Delight; 7 as "The Freedom Seeker”
36:12 Comparing head types 5, 6, 7; attachment vs frustration in the mental center (6 vs 7); "I'm on my own roller coaster”
39:42 On metabolizing negativity; growing up & seeing unfairness in the world, needing to reframe it, hold a positive vision for it
46:16 What helped you face the grief / dissoance between positive vision and reality / the feeling of being trapped in negative life?
49:43 Scary to talk about negative things happening now -- easier to reflect retrospectively, because it's over
51:38 7 assertiveness helping me deal with / move through depression
54:35 Jittery in sharing the story; discomfort that "i'm not feeling it." What's underneath the jitters?
59:25 The undercurrent of suffering that has defined her life trajectory; "An honest try at bringing positivity"; addicted to volunteering
1:04:20 How do you feel right now? Vulnerable to talk about this stuff.
1:05:50 The soul of the 7 - transforming suffering into something uplifting
1:06:58 Final comments
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Dr. Mary Bates is a Type 6 (SP/SO 6w7 692) primary care doctor, writer, and mother of 2. Mary discovered she is a 6 with the help of the Enneagrammer typing team after having mistyped as a 2 and a 9, the other two types in her trifix. More than anything, this conversation awoke in me a new reverence the 6’s sense of sacred responsibility and “core of humanity,” which permeates Mary’s life and way of being — both as a doctor, and as an inner anchor for her in surviving major childhood trauma. Our conversation also opened up interesting questions about what anxiety “really” is. Enjoy.
Subscribe to my newsletter here: https://www.joshlavine.com/
Watch on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/_xxAdpRFULo
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
3:15 Enneagram Origin Story, mistyping as 2 and 9; discovering I’m a 6
10:17 “In my defense" - "I've thought of everything"; not wanting to be exposed for having not thought of something
12:17 On realizing I was an anxious person; finding better words for "anxiety" - what really is anxiety?
16:46 692 the "healing trifix" - doctor fit
18:51 How do I know when to stop brushing the dog? -- "Have I covered everything / thought of everything?"
19:49 The pleasure of looking behind the curtain, "what's really going on here?" (a hugely overlooked and essential gift of the 6)
21:46 Exploring anxiety as the question: "How do I know when to stop X?" E.g. stop over-analyzing, looking around the corner, finding another answer, etc
24:49 A perfect 6 story - "Should I pull over to read the text?"
27:03 What helps with the indecision of 6? "Taking yourself by the hand and doing it even though it's scary"
29:25 The practice of making deliberate mistakes; what a "practice" really is, custom practices for your nervous system
32:03 Reactivity, being provocative, negative; "If something needs to be said, I'll say it"
38:28 Duty, responsibility, and concern as core ways of being
41:04 Double super-ego trifix. "If I feel I can, I must”; Why is it hard to shirk responsibility?
43:51 6-9 stem and anti-narcissism - "Whatever you want for dinner" -- "sure" -- realizing that it's annoying!
47:59 Justifying localizing myself by the reasoning that it makes me less burdensome to others
53:07 Silence (a beautiful moment of...)
57:14 Mary's survival of capital “T” Trauma, - the “inner core of humanity” that sustained her
1:01:11 Doctor as vocation; the "gnosis" of realizing: “I could be a doctor!”; 692 trifix singing through your life
1:06:16 "You didn’t ask me what it’s like to be introduced!" (ha!) 6-ish anticipation & response
1:08:27 Conclusion
Music by Coma-Media from
Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ ---
Jess is a Type 5 (SO/SP 5w6 538) writer and artist “based on the internet.” Like many 5s, she prefers her privacy and requested that I mention no signifiers of her identity beyond the above. She originally typed as a 7, which given the way she presents, is no surprise. Jess takes on a a whimsical romp through "pleasure gardens," symbolic objects, and the terror of soul-dead zombie-people. This conversation really challenged my understanding of 5-ness. It was fascinating to explore how her withdrawn, rejection core -- underpinned by two assertive fixes -- "deals with" the social drive for connection while maintaining separateness. Enjoy.
Subscribe to my newsletter here: https://www.joshlavine.com/
Watch on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/OTpE3lL1dHw
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
2:24 Interview start; “living on the internet”; the desire not to be found
4:52 Avarice; contrasting social desire for connection & withdrawal of 5; being a stranger in a strange land
8:13 the pleasure garden, disappointment that the other can’t see they’re in a garden; loneliness
12:08 Enneagram origin story, thinking I was a 7, getting typed as 5
14:58 The symbolic object that I place between us
19:43 My hidden intellectual agenda (or, unspoken hope); the 5 tendency to provoke
22:43 Seeking connection through the mind; “can you withstand this” - they probably can’t but might as well fuck around and find out
25:03 Missing connection through the body during pandemic; yet sensory overload of physical presence
26:58 Social instinct yearnings vs 5-ness; the “something” I’m looking for
31:35 “Fuck it” energy; whimsy
33:28 What “MATTERS” and what it means for something to be “MINE” - I’m the source of it; What matters is autonomy to learn, research, process, create — the tinkering itself, not the result
40:47 Where do you locate your “self” internally? Body awareness in space
46:49 Inner work? Creativity, dream analysis, meditation.
50:23 Her art & thematic underpinnings: “I don’t do anything that doesn’t also mean something else.”
52:19 Alchemy of art; art as self-discovery; 5 impulse for discovery pointed inward
56:28 Not important that others see my art; the expectation that others will fail to see “it” or “me”
1:03:03 538 trifix; 3 fix as “tether to reality — can’t forget about the other”; conflict between 5 and 3 fix — want to be seen, but uncomfortable
1:05:53 On protecting my heart; hoops to jump through before i reveal it
1:08:49 Terror & mindless, soul-dead zombie-people; FEAR in general — I be drained, inconvenienced by other humanS
1:15:13 The risk of exposure - “a thread would be pulled and everything would come apart at the seams”
1:18:41 Zombie fear reprise: terrifying because what?? they’ll unknowingly suck something away from me in “reckless, heartless consumption”; head types: “fear all the way down”
1:22:01What’s this like for you?
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagramtype5 #enneagraminterview
John Luckovich is one of the most brilliant and authentic Enneagram teachers of my generation. His teaching is clear, challenging, thought-provoking, and comes from sincere desire to illuminate the psyche and immersion in his own inner work. His book, The Instinctual Drives and the Enneagram, presents the first ever coherent theory of instincts that incorporates evolutionary biology and developmental psychology, and it successfully argues for the instincts' centrality in spiritual transformation. I think very highly of John, and I'm excited for you to learn from him in this conversation.
John's Typing: (SX/SP 4w5 458)
John's Website: https://www.johnluckovich.com/
Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/oRYgOdMpbNg
Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
2:54 What’s it like to be introduced? Silly, cartoonish
4:01 Enneagram origin story
6:11 Contrasting how 3 & 4 experience identity - John's professional journey in Enneagram world
11:21 The Enneagram’s sacred, eternal insight & way it renders reality
15:11 Growing up in Atlanta “everything was like a giant mall..." dead, glossy, lifeless artifice
18:11 The Enneagram humiliates the personality; “Where else do you go to locate identity?”
20:56 Inner work for John; becoming more “open”; expanding the 4’s narrow emotional range
25:50 Contrasting 2, 3 & 4. 4 is part of identity that is “singularly my own.” The inner life of 4s.
33:21 4s showing you that “I’m different”; 4’s natural allergy to other’s trying to get them to “be on the same page”; the inner middle finger
38:31: What is "Depth?" a sense of mystery, reaching, a “saturation of one’s experience,” “a beauty that moves your soul”
44:10 Why doing taxes feels "not deep,” and what it means to relax the “grasping” for depth
47:10 John’s book -- promoting it vs writing it; 4’s “resistance to functioning,” the writing & research motivated by self- and topic-discovery
58:50 The 4’s appreciation of others’ depth; misunderstandings of “authenticity”; sensing when other people are “resonating with themselves”
1:07:10 “Does that make sense?” - what’s that about? - social blind, not sensing if we’re on the same page
1:09:25 “What’s this been like for you?” some bro love
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Kelsey Bishop is a Type 3 (SP/SO 3w4 386) whose shift from chasing "The Dream" to discovering her dream tangibly illustrates the 3's growth journey. She is the Founder of Candor, a new kind of professional network dedicated to increasing fulfillment at work by helping you discover and share "how you work." I find Kelsey inspiring and refreshingly self-revealing. We get into some good core 3 stuff like work/activity as self-regulation and what it means to rest and restore oneself. This convo is a really good, "straight down the middle" intro to the Type 3.
Check out Candor here: joincandor.com
Kelsey’s Twitter: @kelseyCBishop
Watch the interview on YouTube: https://youtu.be/WnSf-df74iA
Join my email list and get my Free Self-Development Tools Guide: https://www.joshlavine.com/
Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
3:47 What’s it like to be introduced?
5:00 Learning the Enneagram at work, discovering I was a 3
7:50 Work as self-regulation; “My desired mode is to be working”; checking things off, feeling accomplished; the “safe haven” of work (from emotions)
10:50 Contrasting work I love and work I don’t love; “It’s so easy to see what people want me to do”
12:35 On chasing “The Dream,” joining a rocketship, not liking it
20:15 Quit the company she didn’t like and took time for reflection: “That wasn’t me. So... what is me?” - how do you know?
22:45 Oil painting practice: “I feel good when I paint”; struggling with not feeling productive, but doing it anyway. “What makes me feel grounded?”
25:05 Founding Candor “feels like the most me thing I’ve ever done.’ “It’s definitely not The Dream. It’s definitely my dream.
27:15 What’s Candor? Why it’s “my dream.” Candor’s 3-ish flavor. Celebrating people. Bringing our full selves to work. Fulfilling potential.
31:10 3 integrating to 6. “For so long I thought work was checking things off a list and feeling accomplished. But when it’s tied to a deeper mission, it feels like magic.”
34:20 On feeling emotions. “In college I was human doer.” The fear that if I feel my emotions, “I’ll never stop crying.” The tradeoff — feel my emotions now or deal with the backlog later.
41:45 Body-mind / heart separation in the 3 44:45 Relationship with rest. Feeling “indulgent,” self-critical. Trying more unplanned “restorative” days, not overplanned “vacation.”
47:45 What it means to be restored. “Giving my brain a rest”; the discipline to meditate and the excuses that come up
50:30 3 as founder, raising money, being rejected by investors is like they’re rejecting “me”; getting comfortable with “failing”
58:50 3 as leader/CEO. Leading a team. Openness and authenticity as part of the culture.
1:03:45 Vulnerable retro after letting someone go; “Here’s where I messed up.” Setting a precedent for honest self-reflection. High side of 3
1:09:00 Conclusion
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Niklas Wilkens is a humanistic depth psychologist practicing in Germany, and he’s been working with the Enneagram for 14 years, although only 2 years ago realized that he was an Enneagram 2. Niklas honestly blew me away with his very personal and high resolution description of his 2-ness (despite mistyping as a 5 for 11 years!). We get into why 2 is a rejection type, the "inner hope machine," why 2s can come across as creepy, and what it took for him to start really seeing himself. Really (really) good stuff.
Read his blog: https://liebeundklarheit.com
Want to work with Niklas? Email him at: psychotherapie.wilkens@gmx.de
Watch our convo on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/BAfEVPXSuL8
In this conversation, we get into some REALLY good stuff:
- Realizing I thought my type was “universal," & how mistyping influences the value you see in the enneagram and the way you think of typology in general
- Realizing I was a 2, shaking and crying, no longer being able to delude myself that I was coming from a purely selfless, loving place
- 2 as a rejection type, not attachment type; “the hope machine” — I don’t believe being loved is possible, but I’m going go out to you anyway, hoping it reflects back to me
- what happens when someone tries to love me, to pierce through my own hopelessness
- what happens when the “image” is pierced through and shattered, and the most sensitive part of you is exposed
- The realization that there is an autonomous heart organ underneath my image
- The trouble of organizing birthdays, when I don’t have anything to offer other than myself
- Watching myself as a 2 therapist — the compulsion to move into others’ psychological space; sensing the other person’s readiness for the work; the beauty of seeing others’ vulnerability
- The heart nourishment of mattering to someone in therapy; when someone’s vulnerability is exposed, it matters how I treat you (in contrast to “the world” where people are numb)
- Watching for when I’m using clients as evidence for my hope machine. “If I can help this person, maybe all is not lost. And maybe my interventions (which “are me”) work!
- Power tripping as “Super Jesus,” the “power of love,”
- Contact with Essential Love when someone really does see me
- 2s talk about doing something out of selflessness, they’re usually honest, since that’s all they’re aware of (!)
- not seeing the contradiction between being selfless and morally indignant that my efforts aren’t reciprocated
- the path to ego transparency — marshall rosenberg & NVC; being with spontaneous emotions that aren’t necessarily shaped by my image with therapist help; - the vigilance of image types
- 2s being creepy & the pressure they put on you to reciprocate; “leverage”
Check out my newsletter, blog, & free self-development guides here: https://www.joshlavine.com/
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Alex G is an Enneagram Type 1 (SP/SX, 1w9, 135). She has excellent descriptions of her body experience as a 1, the grief underneath her 1-ish frustration, and the Essential quality of Integrity that her type structure is "after." Special focus on 1 as a body type, which Alex rightly points to as a gap in the "literature." We also discuss how self-preservation dominance and social blindness shows up for her as a 1.
Watch the interview on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/QAv1qIU-I0I
Timestamps:
00:00 Intro & Brief overview of the Triadic Groups
3:00 What's it like to be introduced?
3:30 Enneagram origin - mistyping as a 4
5:08 Realizing she's a 1
6:10 1-ness in the body — the inner “tuning fork”, the "dissonant off feeling"
10:23 1's "Gut type"-ness the most neglected & misunderstood aspect
13:15 Pet peeves; difficulty of discerning the line between pet peeve and what feels "bad" or unethical
16:50 The engine of frustration revving even when I’m trying to “do something fun”; action as frustration release valve
20:50 The fear of “eternal grief” - that whatever world I was supposed to exist in, this isn’t it
24:18 Moments of "perfection"
25:49 Self-pres 1 - building a clean and cozy environment, managing limited time & energy; Social blind: the threat of including social in that limited timespan; "can’t unlock my muse unless my house is clean"
31:40 The burden of responsibility; resistance to lowering standards & the pressure of meeting them; on "not being physically agonized by what I'm witnessing" (it doesn't matter if others say I'm going a good job)
37:01 Fun - what’s that?; refuges from the inner pressure?
41:09 Writing & creativity as off-and-on fun and anguish, a mini playground to “satisfy that tuning fork”
45:29 Social blind 1, don't spend energy cultivating stands on larger social or political issues; but still have localized opinions
47:00 emotional activation vs somatic activation - being still, statueseque while having strong emotional responses
49:48 Her “mission” in writing to make something up to her standards; not needing anyone to read it
53:37 Essential Integrity, Serenity, and the fall from grace feeling - I don’t feel like I’m appealing to a new idea — it’s like I’m “remembering” how it should be, from the beginning of time
57:33 Triple competency type — realness feels messy, positive outlook feels delusional
59:08 Misunderstandings about 1s -- the problem of descriptions making it seem like there’s a separation between the ego and the standard. But the ego is the standard... not an inner split. (Yet, I wonder what aspect of self gets suppressed out of consciousness)
1:09:00 What has this been like for you?
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
David Gray is the most original voice in the Enneagram world today. His impressionistic, symbolic, elemental thinking style has produced utterly fresh insights about the Instincts, trifixation, typing processes, and the Enneagram symbol itself. David kindly emerged from the cave of primordial darkness to subject himself to invasive questioning for about an hour. His purple shirt on purple background is a genius artistic statement that only certain types will be able to understand.
You can buy David's "trifix" booklet on Enneagrammer.com, which he co-runs. David also co-hosts the Big Hormone Enneagram Podcast and the Dark Arts Academy -- weekly classes where you can watch the Enneagrammer team type a celebrity live.
Watch on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/oRk7BSpYlFE
David's site: http://enneasite.com/
Enneagrammer: https://www.enneagrammer.com/
David's Trifix Booklet: https://www.enneagrammer.com/store/trifix-venn-booklet-david-gray
Timestamps:
00:00 Intro to David Gray
3:06: What it's like to be introduced; being “located” as a 9
6:52 Enneagram origin story, seeing that each author has their own subjective “take” on the Enneagram
12:12 The difficulty of discipline and writing a book as a 974 trifix; The difficulty of writing the book as a type 9; plus the the overlapping, spread out, nature of David’s ideas, “where do you start?” David’s discovery of the instinct’s relations to the 4 elements
17:56 “Rambling” nature of 9s; "gathering” himself to write and getting clear on “what am I saying right now?”
19:36 Unpacking David’s trifix and instinctual stack in David’s way: 974, SP/SX; being a withdrawn body type, “doing body internally”
26:12 Why David looked at trifix, given it’s not really “Enneagram mainstream”
29:36 David’s use of language, creating an “experiential landscape” with words, wanting people to experience resonance in their body of what I’m trying to say, to have their own creative experience with it
36:00 How David (doesn't) experiences his "identity" as a social blind, "heart-last" 9
41:30 David's non-Enneagram work, his daily work/break rhythm as a 9
51:10 "What do you get out of withdrawing?"- a way to get my own way without speaking up to get my own way; on absorbing others’ energetic field
55:20 On deadlines, getting the book out; self-pres distractions
58:40 Inner work, Rage “localizing” me; Observing my patterns, identifying with the observer more than the pattern. Internal Family Systems. Family Constellations.
1:03:45 David’s combativeness online, 9s as a repressed rage type
1:07:00 - The "practice" of being on camera, speaking, "spotlight on me" as a 9
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Emeka Okorafor is a world expert in Enneagram typing. He co-runs Enneagrammer.com, co-hosts the Big Hormone Enneagram Podcast and the Dark Arts Academy -- weekly classes where you can watch the Enneagrammer team type a celebrity live.
Timestamps:
00:00 Intro to What It's Like To Be You
1:35 Intro to Emeka
6:05 Emeka's Enneagram Origin Story
8:27 Learning as an 8, needing it to be “real," alive; discovering my own type
15:30 "I'm gonna leave a mark on you"; Creating a before and after; "making it happen"
18:27 Ppl getting upset, cutting through bullshit as an 8 teacher, making the Enneagram unignorable
21:40 The inner experience of 8ness right now
25:00 Feeling "separate from my experience"
28:00 "Getting high on my own momentum"
30:07 Inner work for me as an 8: getting in touch with my heart, letting people in, allowing things to happen (not “making” them happen)
36:00 On boundaries, the terror of being violated; the inner circle, "my box"
39:27 8s and Protectiveness
43:00 Instinctual understanding of consequences, intimidation; Having others rely on me while I’m not relying on them
45:42 Not realizing I'm being provocative or pushing people into psychological corners
51:23 #nota4 and why it matters; common delusions in typology circles
55:09 On typing people, and the controversy of telling someone their type; the skill of seeing type
1:02:00 - the wisdom and soul of the 8; making something invisible visible; making it “real”
1:08:44 - Advice for 8s, allowing for things to happen
1:12:00 - Advice if you have an 8 boss, partner, friend, etc; not triggering the “well I didn’t care about this anyway” response
1:20:00 Conclusion & Where to find Emeka
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/
Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/