Conscious Ambition: Recent Episodes
Josh Mendies & Ethen Kauiers
A couple of Melbourne weirdos attempting to come at things a bit differently. Through authentic and profound sharing of our lives and opinions, we aim to demonstrate how humans can use communication to navigate through a life filled with pain and uncertainty, to lead fulfilling, joyous lives.
After a brief hiatus of around 4 weeks, Josh and Ethen finally sit down in St.Kilda botanical gardens to catch up.
Josh recently returned from a trip where he sought to confront his fears of flying; the trip to Tasmania became an adventure of weeks instead of merely a few days. Unfortunately, during this time, Ethen's own pre-occupation with packing / moving houses before his own lengthy trip internationally obscured the clarity of communication and patience to listen / understand Josh's immediate troubles.
___
Through out 2022, we really spent time practising how to relate to one another, patiently hear one another out so we could feel comfortable with the judgement-free space we were creating. Recent circumstances took a toll on both of us, particularly our concern for how one another 'were doing'. This podcast was a breath of fresh air to return to in-person communication; tp discuss the break down in trust that happened and recount what experiences we were going through which were the cause for enduring our suffering in greater isolation than we perhaps anticipated.
As I write this, I just want to say how much gratitude I feel for Josh and his patience with me in general. The trust that we have built towards one another. Because now I know the feeling of when that trust breaks down and, from my side, it needn't happen. Despite trials and tribulations, stresses that we may go through - conversing with Josh as openly and frequently as we do is a privilege.
___
trust #breakdownintrust #fearofflying #facingfear #onamission #travellinglife #tasmania #breakdownincommunication #consciousambition
Josh's good friend of almost 2 decades comes on Conscious Ambition to join in a conversation. Overcoming some reticence, Justin (Juz) took this opportunity to chat about unspoken struggles that are often left unbeknownst to close friends, challenges of new fatherhood and stresses that can't be appreciated until you're living them.
As he reveals in the podcast, "aspiring to manage one's emotions better" is not everyone's idea of a normal New Year's resolution. But as the conversation ensues, it's obvious everyone could do with regularly acknowledging the importance of a consideration like this.
___
An avid listener of the podcast, we owe Justin a huge thankyou for providing us with much-appreciated feedback as to the strengths of our conversations, the topics we consider and how we could afford to bring more personalities and stories on to Conscious Ambition.
Juz - congratulations on becoming a father this year. And coming on the podcast to admit to the world you still lose your shit. We do too.
___
consciousambition #fatherhood #newparentstruggles #personaltime #sleepdeprivation #losingyourshit #newyearresolutions #angermanagement
A monologue where Josh expresses his ongoing disappointment with the festive season and what it represents. He depicts the narrative he holds of the 'lazy' side of him versus the 'ambitious' side of him He then goes on to show his gratitude for Ethen and the podcast, before wrapping up with the future of the podcast and it's importance for the future of our society.
__________________________________________________
Firstly, thank you to Ethen, as you can hear in the podcast, it is difficult to use words to describe how much you have given me in life. What we are doing is so fulfilling and we are slowly bettering the world around us 1 conversation at a time.
Secondly, thanks to the fans!!! We couldn't have done it withou- just joking. We really appreciate all the kind feedback that we are getting. It feels nice to be well-received and to be told that what we are doing is important and meaningful. Keep listening and let's keep striving for a more open, honest, authentic society :)
Ethen takes some time to reflect on the significance of the podcast in his life; the growth of the podcast has been synonymous with a growth in himself as a person, his appreciation for the nuance of relationships, communication and feeling connected with people/communities around him.
2022 was the year Josh and Ethen begun to routinely record themselves and post the discussions to the platform 'Podbean' under the name 'Conscious Ambition'. Through the practise of communicating feelings, emotions, reflections of life events and more, Ethen feels more in touch with people and himself than ever before.
Josh, thank you for having provided me this opportunity; this is truly something I've thought about for years and struggled with finding an outlet to pursue long-form conversations with others. You've been a kindred soul to delve into this passion with and I'm as excited as you are to have others join in the act and practise of expressing their thoughts, feelings and emotions for therapeutic and existential benefit.
To all those who've begun to listen to us - thank you. We knew we had something interesting to offer in the types of conversations we were choosing to have so anyone and everyone listening - you are a validation of that belief.
Please reach out to us through whatever platform (phone number, email, instagram, facebook) if you feel that the type of space and discussions we are having speak to something in you.
consciousambition #2022yearinreview #relationships #connectingwithothers #reachingout #expressingourselves #deepconversation #meaningfullife #pursuingpassion
Ethen brings to the podcast the light-hearted topic of disagreements and turmoil shared in the relationship with his dad; Josh provides the sound-board from which he listens to the history behind the issues, childhood reflections, soothing through self-harm and joint-reminiscence of the deep anxiety that comes with the territory.
The question comes up - do we take time to 'deal with our shit' before moving on to pursue success in our lives? Or is this a constant balance with which to acknowledge, 'healing' and 'evolving' as we go..?
______________________________________
Despite seeming a recurring topic for mutual discussion, the conversation moves from sombre topics of frustration and despair to contemplating more fruitful, encouraging thoughts of how to deal with life as it unfolds...
______________________________________
familyfights #anxiety #selfharm #acknowledgingpain #reflectingonyourchildhood #thehardquestions #lovehate #painandsuffering #dealingwithshit #consciousambition
Josh and Ethen invite a good friend, Zoot, onto the podcast to share in reminiscence of one another over the years. Reflecting on first meeting one another in 2015, at the beginning of a 5-year Osteopathic medicine course, they share their initial perspectives of one another and how they've gradually shifted, evolved.
As they continue, they open up more and more, prying a little further into questions they've felt drawn to ask one another for some time.
This was honestly a very powerful podcast for all of us - to have reached a place where we feel comfortable to express gratitude, be vulnerable and share honest opinions about one another where at a time, these things felt taboo and uncomfortable.
Zoot, you are a great friend and we felt humbled for you to share yourself, this time and space with us.
podcastguest #consciousambition #gratitudeforoneanother #deepmoments #cuttingthroughthebullshit #socialanxiety #selfimage #beingapproachable #peopleperson #humbled #sharinginsuffering
What Josh and Ethen introduce as a casual conversation (and self-critiqued within the first 5 minutes - ha) eventually delves into querying current predicaments with close family, frustrations, 'feeling it' with changing relationships and expressing feelings of perceived self-worth in community. Two weeks off between 'casts' served refreshing reminders to focus on what our lives are at hand. There always seem like powerful messages we take away from some conversations that earn some time to bring back to daily-life; we hope this podcast expresses relatively calm and vulnerable discussion and reflection.
____________________________________
What begins as a sensitive topic fast develops into a thoughtful, multi-faceted conversation on how either person perceives relating to communities. _ #relationships #disappointment #conversation #selfworth #familyrelationships #currentpredicaments #melbourneconversation #empowerment #shithappens
Edit: Audio adjusted to make sound more even.
What Josh and Ethen introduce as a casual conversation (and self-critiqued within the first 5 minutes - ha) eventually delves into querying current predicaments with close family, frustrations, 'feeling it' with changing relationships and expressing feelings of perceived self-worth in community.
Two weeks off between 'casts' served refreshing reminders to focus on what our lives are at hand. There always seem like powerful messages we take away from some conversations that earn some time to bring back to daily-life; we hope this podcast expresses relatively calm and vulnerable discussion and reflection.
______________________________________
What begins as a sensitive topic fast develops into a thoughftul, multi-faceted conversation on how either person perceives relating to communities.
___
relationships #disappointment #conversation #selfworth #familyrelationships #currentpredicaments #melbourneconversation #empowerment #shithappens
Ethen sheds some light reflection on his life circumstances with positive spins he likes to consider; Josh digs a little deeper and begins to pry more and more from Ethen as to what he is really dwelling on...
Then, exactly at the 1:00:00 mark...they begin admitting some things to themselves.
Rough, to say the least; raw, vulnerable and very honest. They take the moment to verbalise what they're really thinking about their own worth...
___
Josh engaged Ethen with a great deal of persistence throughout this podcast, allowing him to express himself but eventually leading him to a place of pain and anguish; all too necessary. Not always the most comfortable place to be but in being truly authentic, it's a side of of us that we neglect in expressing. And it had to be explored.
___
shame #disappointment #self-hatred #feelinggood #feelingbad #feelingdefeated #feeling #anger #smokingweed #masturbating #empoweringyourself
Josh and Ethen begin their episode with some light humour and random tangents - however, the conversation moves to arriving back to Melbourne after their trip to Queensland; the difference feelings of the two places are tangible.
Palpable, off-setting sensations of their current living circumstances are considered; the relationships, communities, cultural-pressures are touched on through-out.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Ironically, we reflected on the 'intellectual' nature of this podcast as compared to our more expressive, reflective podcasts. Despite this, we appreciated the opportunity to reflect on the difference of environments and what they impress upon us.
queensland #melbourne #community #wantingtomove #grassisalwaysgreener #repression #partners #relationshipgrowth #personaldevelopment
This episode takes place in the backyard of some friends of Ethen's, in Brisbane. Josh felt compelled to address an issue about money & generosity that he wanted to resolve.
Listen as they are able to reflect on their different perspectives regarding money and are able to witness each other more clearly.
_________________________________________________________________________________
We were very proud of this episode as it shows how far we have come in both our relationship and our podcasting experience. Our ability to remain calm & open in a state of conflict is something we desperately want to bring to the world.
conflict #money #generosity #gratitude #finance #giving #perspective #frugal
Josh and Ethen's discussion traverses...
...a reflection from Ethen as to a humbling interaction he shared with an acquaintance the day before, it's impression on him and his gratitude for such interactions...
...a recount from Josh of a current incident causing him anger and frustration, stemming from disrespect...
...stirring Ethen's frustrations with recent family altercations...
...and further divulgence, revelation and consideration from both.
consciousambition #gratitude #fear #familyissues #narratives #angermanagementissues #divulginginsecurity #chaos #howdoesitmakeyoufeel
The topic of particular mind-sets leads to Josh and Ethen's impressions of what planning for the future-ahead seems like...
...how assumptions of 'a successful person' seem to be
...impressions around investing in one's passion
...diversity in what people pursue and implications
and some other stuff.
consciousambition #success #passion #considerations #dopamine #JordanPeterson #successfulpeople #investinginpassion #eatingfood
Josh & Ethen discuss Josh's relationship with betting... trying to remain present whilst emotions are intense.
Another discussion ensues...pondering a way to feel empowered whilst allowing for indulgences, 'dopamine hits'.
consciousambition #empowered #empowerment #indulgence #indulging #dopamine #dopaminehits #gambling #betting
Josh and Ethen discuss their initial impressions of struggling to understand current sensitivity around gender identity.
gender identity #Opendiscussion #consciousambition
Josh and Ethen take the time to consider their inadequacies around certain elements of their life.
Whilst they navigate topics which are personally sensitive, their prompts to one another and considerations illuminate more and more.
Despite being interrupted by a 3-month old baby, Josh and Ethen have a chat about the positive experience they've had expressing themselves, namely via the podcast itself.
Conscious ambition was a podcast-project created for the simple opportunity to share genuine reflections from two young men growing and considering their experiences (both internal and external).
After a 4-month hiatus, Josh and Ethen take the opportunity to share where they've been, how they've felt since the last time they sat down to chat; both have had ups and downs but feel excited about how they're handling relationships, work-opportunities and the attitude with which they pursue their lives in meaningful and genuine manners.
We share a conversation with Elias (Ethen's younger brother); a listener of the podcast, we invited him on to share in his current thoughts and feelings around momentary inadequacy, how he feels in certain social situations and more.
Part 1 - there's more to come on Elias' ambitions for his future with music
Conscious Ambition welcomes their first guest onto the podcast: Ethen's wife Margot Chavez.
Margot was initially hesitant to be on the podcast. Margot was feeling resentment towards Ethen after he invited Josh's girlfriend (Katerina) to be on the podcast.
Thank you Margot for sharing your time with us. Looking forward to you coming on again :)
Anyone else that feels they have a story to share or would like to engage in an authentic conversation with both of us, let us know and we would be happy to have you on!
Ethen challenged me last week to do a solo reflection for 20 minutes. I had been sending him long recordings after a period of seclusion to which he really resonated with.
These recordings have become so therapeutic for both of us, especially when going through tough times... as is the human experience.
I tried my best to be as honest as possible about my current psyche. We both really hope that by expressing ourselves we can encourage others to feel the freedom to do the same.
Josh & Ethen discuss a few issues that need to be addressed with the podcast.
-
Making it more palatable
-
Sharing the load
-
Inviting guests
Josh & Ethen both share a fear of heights. Josh recounts an experience he had recently where he went to the Eureka Skydeck to push his boundaries.
Listen as he recounts his experience and the awareness he was able to have when he was up there.
Ethen took some time to reflect on a pivotal point in his life where sinking into a detrimental attitude finally brought repercussions.
Ethen & Josh divulge how compassion has emerged as a theme in their relationships
Ethen reflects on a situation with his brother, whilst Josh reflects on situations with his cousin and auntie.
They attempt to look at childhood and adolescence as a source for understanding why we feel jealousy and frustration towards people in our lives. Through understanding we can grow to become more compassionate humans.
How the hell do we pursue our dreams whilst needing to pay the bills and serve daily obligations?
What narratives get in the way of us achieving our own personal version of success?
Strong Anatomy is Ethen's Training/Osteopathy/Education business that is going to be massive. Get involved early.
Check it out: https://www.stronganatomy.com/
It seems that most conversations Josh & Ethen have come back to the difference perspective they have about the human mind.
Josh believes that unless you have become enlightened or incredibly self aware, everything action is either seeking approval from others or distracting yourself from that.
Ethen believes that the average human in our society goes through moments where they are able to be completely present and are able to share with others without their ego being involved.
This is a super interesting one, that is really at the heart of everything we discuss.
Super interesting episode!!! Josh & Ethen are chatting about the role that discipline plays in finding purpose in your life. Being disciplined is fundamentally important, however 'starting from where you are' is often the missing piece.
They attempt to apply this principle to Ethen's business (Strong Anatomy). A couple of nice lightbulb moments were had.
Enjoy xx
Josh recounts a couple of situations where he has questioned whether it is worth compromising your own happiness & purpose for the good of being there for people you care about.
It's an internal debate we constantly have and are always trying to navigate through our own happiness and pleasing others.
How these conversations began and how they have transformed. Josh & Ethen delve into what they want to bring to the world via this podcast.
Our first episode. We started recording at 7am in Ethen's garage. Josh walked in pretty frustrated with Ethen after a looong 30 minute drive where he lugged all the audio equipment that Ethen hasn't paid him back for.