Uncovering: Recent Episodes
Tabitha
In this podcast, we uncover situations of power abuse, which are often ignored or intentionally covered up. I'm your host Tabitha, and I'll take you on the journey of Uncovering.
Will this be my last episode? What the heck am I doing with my life, if not uploading episodes?
I'm baaaaack! But only kind of? Tune in for a quick life update and for what you can expect from me in future episodes.
Also, learn the history behind the podcast name - its a doozy.
Follow the pod on Instagram at uncovering_podcast. Let's chat over there!
CONTENT WARNING: descriptions of domestic violence and sexual assault.
Welcome to the season one finale! In this episode, I enlist the help of my parents and Gena to recount:
- The day I left J, and went to live safely with my parents.
- J’s mom came over (the day after I left) to talk to me.
- I try to figure out what I want, and I decide I want a divorce.
- I retrieve my belongings (my family comes along so I’m not alone).
- J continues to stalk me.
- I petition for a Restraining Order.
- I moved to another state entirely, and Josh followed me there.
- What happens now? Tune in to listen.
Music by RoboRob
Artwork by Asif Ulislam
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Learn more about Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault:
- https://metoomvmt.org/
- https://www.nsvrc.org/
- https://ncadv.org/why-do-victims-stay
Let's take a much needed break, and shoot the shit with Paul! We reflect on our friendship, Mario Kart, chocolate and gelato, Paul's matchmaking influence on my current healthy relationship; but also we get back on track and talk about his observations and our friendship while I healed from DV.
Music by RoboRob
Artwork by Asif Ulislam
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Learn more about Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault:
- https://metoomvmt.org/
- https://www.nsvrc.org/
- https://ncadv.org/why-do-victims-stay
CONTENT WARNING: descriptions of domestic violence and sexual assault.
J and I moved to Bellingham, and as I began finding my voice and confidence, he increased his controlling and abusive behaviors. I have so much to say about this time period! Join me, my mom, and introducing: GENA!!!
Music by RoboRob
Artwork by Asif Ulislam
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Learn more about Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault:
- https://metoomvmt.org/
- https://www.nsvrc.org/
- https://ncadv.org/why-do-victims-stay
CONTENT WARNING: descriptions of domestic violence and sexual assault.
The yellow and red flags continue! My parents and I recount the wedding day and year one of marriage. We'll dive into several incidents from this timeframe when J:
- Isolated me from my family
- Began sexually assaulting me
- Controlled what and how much food I ate
- Started trying to control what I wore
- Inflicted spiritual abuse
- Acted out in extreme jealousy
- Displayed physical intimidation
I must reiterate my content warning. Please exercise self-awareness, and skip this (or any) episode if you are not in a good place to hear about DV /SA.
Music by RoboRob
Artwork by Asif Ulislam
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Learn more about Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault:
- https://metoomvmt.org/
- https://www.nsvrc.org/
- https://ncadv.org/why-do-victims-stay
CONTENT WARNING: descriptions of domestic violence and sexual assault.
I bring on my parents again to help me spell out the “yellow flags” during the engagement time frame. I bring a couple red flags to the table from my one-on-one interactions with J.
From strange religious evangelizing, to apathy for obtaining housing and a job, to the first incident of sexual assault/harassment; the engagement period has us scratching our heads, and leaves me wishing I could go back in time to break up and end all contact with J!
It's messy. Activate your empathy.
Music by RoboRob
Artwork by Asif Ulislam
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Learn more about Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault:
- https://metoomvmt.org/
- https://www.nsvrc.org/
- https://ncadv.org/why-do-victims-stay
CONTENT WARNING: descriptions of domestic violence and sexual assault.
In this episode, I tell the story of how I met my now ex-husband. I also bring on my parents for their perspective; what did they think about J when they met him, and when I first started dating him? Spoiler: the red flags started early, not just a random incident “here and there,” but a pattern that even my parents noticed (and were increasingly annoyed by it).
Can you guess where I got my coping mechanisms, shining personality, and sarcasm? While my parents and I don’t see eye to eye on everything in life, we have come together in a brilliant display of Anderson-family storytelling. Enjoy.
Also, please excuse my roaring heater which turned on in the middle of this episode. I decided it was fine, and kept talking. Would YOU want to re-record this shit? Didn’t think so.
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Learn more about Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault:
- https://metoomvmt.org/
- https://www.nsvrc.org/
- https://ncadv.org/why-do-victims-stay
CONTENT WARNING: descriptions of domestic violence and sexual assault.
Join me for the first season, and first episode of Uncovering. In this Prologue, I introduce how domestic violence has affected me, personally. I bring on my friend and colleague, Miranda (she/they), an expert, advocate, and activist in the anti-violence field. In this conversation we will establish our framework by addressing:
- Domestic violence definitions
- Intersection of DV with other types of violence (stalking, sexual assault, exploitation, etc.)
- Intersection of DV with different types of oppression
- Misconceptions of DV, & of DV victims/survivors
- How trauma shows up in survivors
- Miranda’s takeaways working in the anti-violence advocacy field
- How to support victims/ survivors, even if you’re not a trained advocate
- A word to those who’ve experienced/ are experiencing abuse
Music by RoboRob
Artwork by Asif Ulislam
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Learn more about Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault:
- https://metoomvmt.org/
- https://www.nsvrc.org/
- https://ncadv.org/why-do-victims-stay
CONTENT WARNING: descriptions of domestic violence and sexual assault.
Welcome to the season one finale! In this episode, I enlist the help of my parents and Gena to recount:
- The day I left J, and went to live safely with my parents.
- J’s mom came over (the day after I left) to talk to me.
- I try to figure out what I want, and I decide I want a divorce.
- I retrieve my belongings (my family comes along so I’m not alone).
- J continues to stalk me.
- I petition for a Restraining Order.
- I moved to another state entirely, and Josh followed me there.
- What happens now? Tune in to listen.
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Learn more about Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault:
- https://metoomvmt.org/
- https://www.nsvrc.org/
- https://ncadv.org/why-do-victims-stay
Disclaimer to my LDS/ Mormon listeners: this episode contains constructive criticism of Church culture.
For listeners who are unfamiliar with Mormonism: this episode contains some verbiage related to the LDS/ Mormon subculture. Here’s a brief orientation:
- Ward: a congregation. This is the congregation that members meet and worship with most regularly. The Bishop is the leader of a ward.
- Stake: a geographical area, consisting of several wards. The Stake President is the leader of a Stake.
- Singles Ward: a congregation for young, non-married adult members to meet and worship. My understanding is that the age range for Singles Wards is 18-30 years old. There is typically a lot of pressure in Singles Wards to meet other singles, go on heteronormative dates, and get married.
- Home Ward: a congregation where family units meet and worship regularly. Ex: a young adult may be attending a Singles Ward, but visit their parents (who are members) and attend their “Home Ward.”
- The Priesthood: the LDS/ Mormon Church believes that the Priesthood is the literal power and authority of God, given to “worthy” men in the church. In this way, the LDS/ Mormon Church is patriarchal, as only men assigned at birth are given the priesthood.
- Home Teacher: now referred to as “Ministering Brother / Sister”, this program in the church is for members to check up on each other to address any individual and/or family needs.
Paul and I met before I married J. In this episode, we discuss Paul’s perspective about J, his family, the church culture related to marriage and divorce, and how to best support people with non judgment. Along the way we get distracted by Mario Party/Mario Kart, Chocolate Necessities (not sponsored), as well as some behind-the-scenes content about how I met my current sweetheart! You won’t want to miss this convo!
Music by RoboRob
Artwork by Asif Ulislam
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Learn more about Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault:
- https://metoomvmt.org/
- https://www.nsvrc.org/
- https://ncadv.org/why-do-victims-stay
CONTENT WARNING: descriptions of domestic violence and sexual assault.
J and I moved to Bellingham, and as I began finding my voice and confidence, he increased his controlling and abusive behaviors. I have so much to say about this time period! Join me, my mom, and introducing: GENA!!!
Music by RoboRob
Artwork by Asif Ulislam
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Learn more about Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault:
- https://metoomvmt.org/
- https://www.nsvrc.org/
- https://ncadv.org/why-do-victims-stay
CONTENT WARNING: descriptions of domestic violence and sexual assault.
The yellow and red flags continue! My parents and I recount the wedding day and year one of marriage. We'll dive into several incidents from this timeframe when J:
- Isolated me from my family
- Began sexually assaulting me
- Controlled what and how much food I ate
- Started trying to control what I wore
- Inflicted spiritual abuse
- Acted out in extreme jealousy
- Displayed physical intimidation
I must reiterate my content warning. Please exercise self-awareness, and skip this (or any) episode if you are not in a good place to hear about DV /SA.
Music by RoboRob
Artwork by Asif Ulislam
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Learn more about Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault:
- https://metoomvmt.org/
- https://www.nsvrc.org/
- https://ncadv.org/why-do-victims-stay
In this episode, I tell the story of how I met and started dating the person who would become my abusive husband (now ex-husband). I also bring on my parents for their perspective. What did they think about J when they first met him, and when I first started dating him?
Spoiler: the red flags started early as a pattern that even my parents couldn't ignore.
After this episode, you'll be able to see where I got some of my coping mechanisms, shining personality, and sarcasm/sass (which I've tried to reign in over the years, with inconsistent success). While my parents and I don’t see eye to eye on everything in life, we have come together in a brilliant display of Anderson-family storytelling to bring you the truth about the beginnings of a domestic violence story.
Also, please excuse my roaring heater which made its debut in this episode. I decided it was fine, and kept recording. No regrets, no do-overs. Would YOU want to re-record this shit-ass story? Didn’t think so.
Music by RoboRob
Artwork by Asif Ulislam
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Learn more about Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault:
- https://metoomvmt.org/
- https://www.nsvrc.org/
- https://ncadv.org/why-do-victims-stay
I bring my parents on again to help talk through “yellow flags” during the engagement timeframe. I recount a couple of red flags from my one-on-one interactions with J.
From strange and sexist religious viewpoints, J's apathy for obtaining work and safe housing, to the first incident of sexual assault/harassment; the engagement period has me scratching my head and wishing I could go back in time to break up and end all contact with J!
It's messy. Activate your empathy.
Music by RoboRob
Artwork by Asif Ulislam
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Learn more about Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault:
- https://metoomvmt.org/
- https://www.nsvrc.org/
- https://ncadv.org/why-do-victims-stay
Welcome to the first episode of Uncovering! In this episode, I will introduce how domestic violence has affected me, personally. I bring on my friend and colleague, Miranda (she/they), as an expert, advocate, and activist in the anti-violence field. In our convo, we establish an anti-violence framework that will be used in the podcast moving forward. We address:
- Domestic violence definitions
- The intersection of DV with other types of violence (stalking, sexual assault, exploitation, etc.)
- The intersection of DV with different types of oppression
- Misconceptions of DV, & of DV victims/survivors
- How trauma shows up in survivors
- Miranda’s takeaways working in the anti-violence advocacy field
- How to support victims/ survivors, even if you’re not a trained advocate
- A word to those who’ve experienced/ are experiencing abuse
About Miranda:Miranda Morris (she/hers/they/them) has been working at Skagit Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Services (Skagit DVSAS) since January of 2016. In her time with the agency, she has worn many hats, serving at different points as the Family Shelter Specialist, Shelter Coordinator, Systems Coordinator, Legal Services Coordinator, Sexual Assault Services Coordinator and is currently thrilled to have transitioned into a Program director role over the last year.
Overseeing the shelter program and the Sexual Assault Services program for Skagit County through Skagit DVSAS keeps her busy. The outreach, organization, leadership, and collaboration required to these programs running and flourishing is well worth the effort (ESPECIALLY through a surprise pandemic). Miranda is involved in and facilitates the meetings for the Sexual Assault Response Team (SART), the CSEC Task Force, and was the previous facilitator for the DV task force. She has established an ongoing position for the agency as a member of one of the schools' districts Truancy boards, to increase the access of services to youth and their caregivers.
While she enjoys working with everyone, she is especially passionate about working with children and youth, in particular, to ensure that they are given due process.
Music by RoboRob
Artwork by Asif Ulislam
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Learn more about Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault:
- https://metoomvmt.org/
- https://www.nsvrc.org/
- https://ncadv.org/why-do-victims-stay