OKAY-ISH: Recent Episodes
Maryellen Dance
Sometimes, we're not thriving and girl-bossing our way through life... we are just trying to make it through the day as best as we can. OKAY-ISH is all about getting honest when it comes to mental health, therapy, and the shit show we call life. Host and mental health counselor Maryellen Dance is on a mission, not to help you be perfect, but to get you feeling okay-ish. You're in for honest, raw, and emotional insights from a licensed specialist, as she covers topics ranging from co-dependancy and narcissism, to anxiety, sex, media, and more. Plus, she gets real about being a therapist, dating as a therapist, and "turning the therapist off" when it's time to unwind. Join us every Monday! You're not going to want to miss it... those cancellation fees are no joke.
As 2022 comes to a close, everyone is talking about their goals and resolutions; but we’re not going to talk about that here. Instead, Maryellen wants to talk about how freaking hard change is. She discusses:
How we avoid change
How she thinks change is difficult because it’s uncomfortable, and we don’t like feeling uncomfortable
Some big personal news/personal change: she sold her therapy practice
Needing time to sit with that change and recover
How she’s dealing with change, including reminding herself that uncomfortable does not equal bad, and that taking a step back can be a good thing to propel you forward
Lastly, Maryellen explains that she needs to also take a step back from the podcast in order to properly rest and reconfigure. She truly believes this isn’t goodbye, but see you later. It’s all going to be okay—no ish. If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow your host on Instagram @maryellendance. To submit questions or stories, send her a DM! Plus, be sure to check out maryellendance.com for more resources.
As 2022 comes to a close, everyone is talking about their goals and resolutions; but we’re not going to talk about that here. Instead, Maryellen wants to talk about how freaking hard change is. She discusses:
How we avoid change
How she thinks change is difficult because it’s uncomfortable, and we don’t like feeling uncomfortable
Some big personal news/personal change: she sold her therapy practice
Needing time to sit with that change and recover
How she’s dealing with change, including reminding herself that uncomfortable does not equal bad, and that taking a step back can be a good thing to propel you forward
Lastly, Maryellen explains that she needs to also take a step back from the podcast in order to properly rest and reconfigure. She truly believes this isn’t goodbye, but see you later. It’s all going to be okay—no ish. If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow your host on Instagram @maryellendance. To submit questions or stories, send her a DM! Plus, be sure to check out maryellendance.com for more resources.
For many of us, the holidays are full of joy and love. However, holidays where grief and sadness dominate are also a reality for many, yet far less discussed. As the holiday season approaches, Maryellen wants to talk about grief. She hopes this episode sheds light on all the different faces of grief, and how, even during the most wonderful time of year, it’s okay not to be okay. This episode highlights:
Holidays without a loved one
How people grieve more than death
Grieving differences in family dynamics, and the reality of our expectations
How holidays are ripe with traditions and pressure to be in the holiday spirit, which can trigger people
What to do with our grief
That grief needs time
How, if we ignore our feelings, they don’t go away, but instead come out in different ways
That grief looks different for everyone
How, often people grieving want to be alone, but the number one thing we need when grieving is other people
Common symptoms of grief
That it’s okay to distract yourself from grief, too
How grief is so much more complicated than just the 5 stages commonly identified
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow your host on Instagram @maryellendance. To submit questions or stories, send her a DM! Plus, be sure to check out maryellendance.com for more resources.
You’ve heard it a million times: your physical health is important for your mental health, and vice versa. But do you know why, or what exactly they do to one another? Today, Maryellen wants to talk about that link, and discuss a few more details that you may not think of, including:
The importance of sleep
Eating patterns
Heightened autonomic nervous system = our brain releasing cortisol into our blood stream
Parasympathetic nervous system being repressed
Frustrations with the random gimmicks that promise to “cure all”
Forgetting when we need to do the simple things for ourselves
The value of therapy
Tired as F*ck: Burnout at the Hands of Diet, Self-Help, and Hustle Culture by Caroline Dooner
Knowing when your body needs rest
How our bodies communicate to us, but it’s up to us to listen
Taking the time to check in with yourself
How, if we can start to be aware, we can take better care of ourselves
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow your host on Instagram @maryellendance. To submit questions or stories, send her a DM! Plus, be sure to check out maryellendance.com for more resources.
Trauma is serious, scary, and there are not enough services in place to support those suffering. Today, Maryellen wants to normalize it a bit more, show a different perspective, and explain why some people will suffer in situations that maybe you wouldn’t. In discussing trauma Maryellen covers:
The subjective nature of trauma and how it lacks a clear definition
DMing an influencer to correct them on a trauma comment
Big T’s and little T’s
How, for each person, different things can be traumatic and that’s okay
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): a trauma therapy based off of Structural Dissociation Theory
Excerpts from My Dark Vanessa by Elizabeth Russel (TW: sexual assault)
The importance of recognizing the little T’s
How little T’s affect us and change our behavior
If you’re struggling, please reach out to a therapist. Visit psychologytoday.com or therapyden.com for a good place to start. If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow your host on Instagram @maryellendance. To submit questions or stories, send her a DM! Plus, be sure to check out maryellendance.com for more resources.
Maryellen has had to make some big decisions lately, and a friend asked her how she was making them. That made her stop and question just how exactly she was making these decisions, and if she was listening to herself as much as she was to everyone around her. When people suggest you listen to your gut, it can be difficult; especially if you struggle with anxiety. What was helping Maryellen the most was actually journaling, something she’s gotten back in to recently, and speaks about today. She discusses:
How we make decisions
The ways we can journal in non-productive ways
Her history with journaling
Journaling as a tool to understand yourself and organize your thoughts
Different types of journals
Tips to avoid spiraling when journaling
How we operate on autopilot
Understanding what is a gut instinct vs. what is anxiety
Processing events and making decisions
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow your host on Instagram @maryellendance. To submit questions or stories, send her a DM! Plus, be sure to check out maryellendance.com for more resources.
Today the creative mind behind the brand Adulting With ADHD, Sarah Snyder-Castañeda, joins Maryellen to discuss what ADHD really looks like. When you hear ADHD, many people instinctively and stereotypically think of a young child who can’t sit still, but it’s far more nuanced and affects people of all ages. The two discuss:
How Sarah came up with the brand
What ADHD truly is
The lack of diagnoses and treatment with adults
The difficulty and grief that can come with being diagnosed at an older age
Medication and the polarizing opinions surrounding it
The importance of talking about your struggles
Common ADHD symptoms in adults
The relationship between ADHD and hormones
Advice for adults being diagnosed for the first time, or for parents whose child is being diagnosed
The importance of being careful with the information you consume…TikTok is not a reliable source
Their Okay-ish moments of the week!
To learn more visit adultingwithadhd.com and check out The Adulting With ADHD podcast. If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow your host on Instagram @maryellendance. To submit questions or stories, send her a DM! Plus, be sure to check out maryellendance.com for more resources.
Have you noticed a change in your workplace culture or your personal stress levels since the pandemic? Working from home has caused many organizational shifts, in both good ways and bad. Organizational psychologist Dr. Shanna Teel joins Maryellen to discuss leadership coaching, burnout, and more, including:
What an organizational psychologist does
If organizations are really willing to bring on an organizational psychologist
Changes within organizations as a result the pandemic
How leaders who practiced empathy prior to Covid succeeded at leading during the pandemic
Dr. Teel’s thoughts on the quiet quitting trend
The high expectations of the next generation in the workplace
Misuse of stress vs. burnout
Signs of burnout
If burnout has changed with people working from home
Cognitive fatigue and how it depletes us
Be sure to follow Dr. Shanna Teel on social media @drshannateel and visit drshanna.com If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow your host on Instagram @maryellendance. To submit questions or stories, send her a DM! Plus, be sure to check out maryellendance.com for more resources.
Licensed marriage and family therapist Kelley Stevens joins Maryellen on the pod this week to discuss being both a private practice therapist, and a consultant for therapists! This episode is as hilarious as it is informative, and we hope it inspires you to “do the thing!”—whatever that may be. Maryellen and Kelley get in to:
Working remotely
Opening a private practice
The difference between private practices and settings such as hospitals or clinics
Issues with insurance
Everything that goes in to a therapist’s rate
Advocating for yourself with your insurance company
Marketing for therapists
How the first therapist you meet might not be the best fit, but to not give up
Advice Kelley offers to therapists the most
The intimidation of making a business plan
Okay-ish moments of the week (warning: they both involve poop...)
If you don’t want to use your insurance but need a lower rate, be sure to check out Open Path Psychotherapy Collective at openpathcollective.org. Be sure to follow Kelley on Instagram @theprivatepracticepro and visit theprivatepracticepro.com. If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow your host on Instagram @maryellendance. To submit questions or stories, send her a DM! Plus, be sure to check out maryellendance.com for more resources.
This week is all about mindfulness! And before you roll your eyes and pause the podcast, bear with us. Maryellen used to feel the exact same way! But since she’s come to understand it more, she really appreciates the value it can bring to your life. However, mindfulness is something she’s been letting fall to the wayside lately, so she wanted to make a conscious effort (hey, mindfulness!) to discuss it today. This episode gets into:
The definition of mindfulness
How it started in religious beliefs
Jon Kabat-Zinn bringing it to the western world
How one of his books helped to change her view on mindfulness
What mindfulness means to Maryellen
How our brains filter information in order to keep moving
How, in order to de-stress, sometimes we actually need to notice everything around us
How mindfulness helps people with anxiety by bringing them in to the present
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow your host on Instagram @maryellendance. To submit questions or stories, send her a DM! Plus, be sure to check out maryellendance.com for more resources.
TW: self-harm, bipolar disorder, psychosis, suicidal thoughts Today Maryellen is joined by a special guest, bipolar advocate Tatyana Frost. Tatyana runs the popular Instagram account, @havingbipolar, and opens up to the OKAY-ISH community about her journey of acceptance and advocacy. The two discuss:
Tatyana’s first experience talking about her diagnosis
Starting her Instagram during quarantine
How she felt when she was first diagnosed
Her parent’s reaction to the diagnosis and their relationship
How disorders such as depression, anxiety, and ADHD are widely accepted and discussed, but bipolar didn’t make it on the “acceptance train”
How, while a lifelong condition, bipolar disorder is still treatable
The importance of taking your medication when you have bipolar disorder
How Tatyana keeps herself stable
How the introduction of lithium changed the game for bipolar disorder
What psychosis means and how it can manifest
Advice for someone who was just diagnosed with bipolar disorder
Advice for family members of someone who was just diagnosed with bipolar disorder
Be sure to follow Tatyana on Instagram @havingbipolar. If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow your host on Instagram @maryellendance. To submit questions or stories, send her a DM! Plus, be sure to check out maryellendance.com for more resources.
This week is a big one as Maryellen celebrates her birthday! Be sure to send your best wishes over on Instagram! In the spirit of celebration, your host takes a moment to sincerely thank everyone who listens to and supports the show. We couldn’t do this without you!! The episode today is all about communication, something most of us do all day, every day, in a bunch of different ways! Maryellen explores:
Why do we communicate?
Is making your point productive?
How often are we communicating without listening?
How often are we communicating the same thing in different ways?
How often are we actually communicating about different things?
How much of our communication is about the other person?
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow your host on Instagram @maryellendance. To submit questions or stories, send her a DM! Plus, be sure to check out maryellendance.com for more resources.
The commercials are rolling, the panic is setting in, it’s that time of year again — back to school! If you’re like us and have no idea where the summer went, worry not, because registered social worker, Brianna Urquhart, is here to talk about how to keep ourselves okay-ish when the seasons are changing. The two chat:
Common things people do in this change of season that don’t work
How to get prepared and start off strong without setting yourself up for failure
Realistic “self-care” strategies
Debunking common fears about back to school
The pressure of doing everything perfectly
Anti-therapy therapy advice
How rigidity is never going to benefit you
Okay-ish moments in their lives
You can follow Brianna on social media @simply_socialwork and check out simplysocialwork.ca for links to her blog, YouTube, and how to work with her virtually across Ontario, Canada. If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow your host on Instagram @maryellendance. To submit questions or stories, send her a DM! Plus, be sure to check out maryellendance.com for more resources.
If you find yourself so focused on other people’s needs that yours aren’t a priority, this episode is for you! This week is a big one as we’re celebrating 2 years of OKAY-ISH! We are so excited for what’s in store, including some really awesome guests. Maryellen has been seeing ads all over social media lately to “learn how to stop being a people pleaser” which serves as the episode inspiration for the week! Maryellen chats:
What is a people pleaser?
At what point is it a bad thing?
We are in charge of our own happiness
Signs of being a people pleaser
Boundaries — they’re meant to keep people in, not push them away
No is not a dirty word & uncomfortable is not bad
Loved ones don’t want us to be people pleasers
Keeping our own needs a priority helps our relationships with others
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories, send us a DM!
We’re going back to the basics again this week and chatting about self-regulation! Unfortunately, we can’t throw tantrums in the grocery store (I mean, you can, but...), so most of us have learned to self-regulate, or simply push things down — which is NOT what we want to do. So today, Maryellen gives everyone a refresher course on how to get up close and personal with our feelings and tried and true techniques to start exercising self-regulation. She dives into:
What is self-regulation?
Talked a lot about with little kids, not enough with adults
Are we actually learning techniques or just learning to hide our true feelings?
How do we actually self-regulate?
How do we know when to do these self-regulating techniques?
How do we know we are self-regulating in a way that’s productive?
The first step to regulating ourselves is recognizing what's going on
Start to learn how you respond to your feelings
HALT: hungry, angry, lonely, tired; if you are too much of any of these, it’s going to be more of a trigger
We have become so used to functioning when we haven’t had our basic needs met, but that is not a badge of honor
When we have to bite our tongue in a moment, it’s important to remember to come back and address the feeling
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories, send us a DM!
This week Maryellen is super excited to do an episode full of listener questions! Doing episodes like these helps her to discover what type of content you want to hear! Enjoy this rapid-fire episode covering topics like:
How do you know if something is a chemical imbalance or something you can work through?
What is the difference between being really sad and being depressed?
How to encourage a friend to see a therapist
When to stop overthinking and trust your gut
How to know if I should see a counselor, therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist
I think I’m in love with my best friend, what do I do?
My best friend is marrying someone I can’t stand and I don’t know how to act
Advice for parents/friends/partners of someone dealing with severe anxiety/depression
I’m in love with my best friend’s fiancé, and I don’t know what to do
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com or send us a DM on Instagram!
This week Maryellen opens up about a topic close to home, burnout as a therapist. While you may not be a therapist, you may be able to relate in your own way, as burnout has become all too common in this always-on culture. She also introduces a new segment, Therapissed, all about things that rub her the wrong way as a therapist, especially when she’s burnt out! Maryellen discusses:
“Leaving work at work” isn’t as easy as it sounds
Burnout won’t go away if you ignore it
Try to anticipate when you’ll need a mental health day; look out for yourself
Vicarious trauma that comes with engaging empathetically with survivors of trauma
We need to normalize and own our burnout
Substituting yoga/gym for therapy? No!
Frustration of being caught off guard and asked to provide advice
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
This week Maryellen goes back to the basics, with therapy 101! There is so much misinformation out there that getting started can be overwhelming. We hope this episode is a useful resource that can give you some confidence in reaching out for help.
Having a mental health diagnosis doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you
There doesn’t have to be something “wrong with you” to go to therapy
We can't diagnose ourselves
Online therapy resources & platforms: proceed with caution
Life coaches, empowerment coaches, and mental health coaches aren’t therapists
What to talk about at your first session
Therapists are not mind readers
It's okay if you're not a match with your first therapist, don’t let that deter you
Starting therapy or medication is not a life sentence
Going to a therapist is not the best thing for emergencies
Psychiatric emergency line: 988 Lifeline if you’re feeling suicidal: 211 For help finding a therapist, visit psychologytoday.com, your primary care doctor, and contact your insurance company. If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
We're begging you, please don’t self-diagnose from memes on the internet... Especially not codependency, because, heads up, codependency isn’t even a diagnosis!! This week Maryellen talks all about codependency and rewrites some “inspirational” quotes to reflect the truth:
What do people mean when they say "codependent"?
Codependency originated from alcoholics anonymous
Popularized with romantic relationships, but can be in all types of relationships
Unhealthy relationship dynamics don’t automatically make the relationship codependent
Ask yourself: does the power dynamic in this relationship feel equal?
The good news? We can change unhealthy relationship dynamics!
If you're suffering from abuse in your life, please call for support
National Domestic Violence Hotline (open 24/7): 800-799-SAFE. Text START to 88788 If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
TW: Domestic violence This week Maryellen is joined by her sister-in-law to analyze the domestic violence portrayed in Colleen Hoover’s popular novel, It Ends with Us:
Why they thought it was a good depiction of a violent relationship
Trauma is not an excuse for abuse
There should be more therapy talk in this book
Correlation/schemas – the cycle of abuse
Romanticizing abuse and toxic sex
Red flags and green flags from the characters
Manipulation vs. trying to do something nice
Victim blaming
National Domestic Violence Hotline (open 24/7): 800-799-SAFE. Text START to 88788 If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
This week Maryellen talks all about the federal government’s ruling that abortion will now be decided by the states, and offers tips on keeping ourselves okay-ish throughout this scary time. This episode is all about:
Validating your feelings
The importance of not catastrophizing
Trauma Triggers
How to keep yourself “okay”
Living in a gray world
Being careful about how we talk about this
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
What do you do when life absolutely pummels lemons at you? This week Maryellen chats with Tay Dome all about her mental health resource, Lemons:
Why Tay created Lemons
The stigma around mental health
The goal of the foundation
Connecting people to the resources they need
Self-diagnosing from social media
Men’s mental health
You can follow Tay on Instagram @taydome and learn about Lemons by Tay on Instagram @lemonsbytay and www.lemonsbytay.com To learn more about Operation Happy Nurse visit www.operationhappynurse.org To get the lemons bracelet, made with Erica Woolston, visit https://ericawoolston.com/collections/ew-x-the-lemons-foundation/products/ew-x-the-lemons-foundation If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
This week Maryellen talks all about various financial topics:
How to take a step back from financial feelings to make good decisions
Normalizing money decisions
Helping yourself become better prepared for uncertainties
The different forms of financial abuse
How problem debt and mental health are connected
Relationship patterns with your money
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com! Follow Tara on Instagram @taramariemurphy.
TW: self-harm, psychiatric emergencies This week Maryellen talks all about psychiatric emergencies:
Why psychiatric emergencies are important to talk about
The mental hygiene law
The importance of safety relating to psychiatric emergencies
The problem with current resources
Systemic issues within health care
If you need assistance locating long-term mental health resources, talking through a problem, or exploring mental health treatment options, call 211 to speak with someone who can help. Additional resources include the help hotline: 1-800-273-TALK or suicidepreventionlifeline.org. Always call 911 first if you or someone you love may be a danger to themselves or others. If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
This week Maryellen talks all about trauma:
What is trauma informed care?
The mental health movement
Dissociation due to trauma
EMDR trauma treatment
Structural dissociation theory
How sleep helps us process trauma
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
This week Maryellen talks all about happiness:
What is happiness?
What does happiness look like?
Comparison having a direct effect on our happiness
The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky
How our outlook affects our happiness
Toxic positivity
How we’re doing happiness wrong
How we’re really bad at predicting our own happiness
Be sure to check out The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky. If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
This week Maryellen talks all about the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial:
What is an abusive relationship?
How watching this triggers people and what to do about it
We will never know what really happened
What Borderline Personality Disorder looks like
What Histrionic Personality Disorder looks like
Is this an abusive relationship?
Men can be victims of abuse, and this abuse can sometimes look different
Can a relationship be abusive to both parties?
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
The week Maryellen talks all about boundaries:
How boundaries first came about
Definition of boundaries
Types of boundaries: physical, emotional, sexual, financial, etc
Knowing when to set a boundary
How to set a boundary
What to look at before you set boundaries
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
Emily and Stephanie are the hosts of Cycle Chats, a podcast that destigmatizes what it means to be a woman. In addition to sharing some hilariously honest couch confessionals, they join Maryellen for part 2 of their conversation where they destigmatize and discuss a wide-range of topics, including:
Differences between men and women
Men and mental health
Social media and mental health
Toxic positivity
Listen to Cycle Chats where ever you listen to podcasts, check them out on Instagram @cyclechats and visit www.cyclechats.com If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
Emily and Stephanie are the hosts of Cycle Chats, a podcast that destigmatizes what it means to be a woman. They join Maryellen today to destigmatize and discuss a wide-range of topics, including:
mental health
self-care
anxiety
traditional gender roles
Johnny Depp and Amber Heard
some people are just assholes (not necessarily gaslighting you, a narcissist, or a sociopath)
the importance of awareness
If you enjoyed this conversation, be sure to tune in to part 2 next week. Listen to Cycle Chats where ever you listen to podcasts, check them out on Instagram @cyclechats and visit www.cyclechats.com If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
This week Maryellen breaks down the toxicity of diet culture:
What is toxic diet culture?
How do you lose weight in a healthy way?
Why diet culture is so bad?
Serotonin/gut health misinformation
Be sure to check out Maryellen’s other similar episode: Never Tell a Woman She Looks Pregnant & Other Things Not to Say to People. Plus, be sure to check out Tired as Fck: Burnout at the Hands of Diet, Self-Help, and Hustle Culture and The Fck It Diet: Eating Should Be Easy by Caroline Dooner. If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
This week Maryellen talks all about perfectionism:
What is perfectionism?
Black and white, extremist thinking
Personal stories: college, first jobs, soccer
Fixed mindset and growth mindset
Connecting self worth to performance
Be sure to check out Tired as F*ck: Burnout at the Hands of Diet, Self-Help, and Hustle Culture by Caroline Dooner. If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
This week Maryellen chats all about supporting someone with anxiety:
Difference between the emotional brain and logical brain
Letting them know they don’t need their anxiety
Letting them know their anxiety is not what makes them who they are
Anxiety is based on the past and future, not the present
Hard for people struggling with anxiety to focus on the present and be mindful – try to bring them down to the present
Not our job to know when someone is anxious – but we can take some hints
Don’t engage with the anxious thoughts, wait until it calms down
Anxiety never shows up to the party alone – what else are they struggling with?
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
This week Maryellen chats codependency, love, lust, sex, and mommy issues...
Why are men are congratulated when they hook up with a lot of people, but women are shamed?
Why is lust so exciting?
The socio-biological view of sex
Passionate vs. companionate love
Attachment styles: come from our mothers and show up in our romantic relationships
Why do people cheat?
Codependent relationships
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
This week Maryellen breaks down the pros and cons of diagnosing in the mental health community. She discusses:
How diagnosing works
The DSM
Reasons why mental health clinicians diagnose
Adjustment disorders
Overlapping symptoms
Self-diagnosing
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
This week Maryellen and dating coach Stacy Perry discuss:
What a dating coach is
Listener questions from last week’s episode on narcissism
Why we date people who are narcissistic
Confidence in dating
Ghosting
Dating apps and advice
How to not be a d*ck to yourself
To keep up with Stacy, follow her on Facebook and Instagram @stacyperrycoaching and visit stacyperrycoaching.com If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
This week Maryellen breaks down narcissism:
What it really means
Differences between being narcissistic and having narcissistic personality disorder
A popular example of narcissistic personality disorder in pop culture
Manipulation and gaslighting (and her frustration with the culture of calling people narcissists and gaslighters)
Importance of setting boundaries, keeping yourself safe, and reaching out for help if you feel someone is abusing you
Plus, tune in next week when Maryellen is joined by a dating coach to dive into this topic even more. If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
Let’s talk about stress, baby! This week Maryellen:
Defines stress
Explains the evolutionary stress response
Highlights the information stress gives us
Explains what stress does to the body
Discusses the 3 phases of stress: alarm, resistance, and exhaustion (crying in Target)
Emphasizes the power of believing you will get through it
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
This week Maryellen chats:
Social comparison and social comparison theory
Social media and highlight reels
Benefits of comparison
Cons of comparison
Setting boundaries
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
This week Maryellen fact-checks 10 common assumptions...
1: People only use 10% of their brain
2: Inkblot tests reveal a lot about people’s personalities
3: People with schizophrenia have multiple personalities
4: Hypnosis can be used to retrieve suppressed memories
5: Some people are right brained, some are left brained
6: Opposites attract
7: Eye witness testimonies work
8: Mentally ill people are dangerous
9: Mentally ill people never recover
10: It’s bad to talk about suicide if you’re worried a person is suicidal
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
This week Maryellen chats:
Hustle culture
Associating your value with your productivity
Toxic positivity
New segment: Unspirational! Where she changes up famous “inspirational” quotes...
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
Happy Valentine’s Day! This week Maryellen chats:
Why it’s a terrible idea to get back with your ex
A personal, “unhinged” story and lessons learned
“I’m sorry you’re upset” isn’t an apology!
Familiar does not mean good
Reasons you should get back together...
Relationships are a verb; active!
LASTLY: Don’t sleep with them!!!
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
This week, Maryellen comments on the difference between performing self love (kind of like the way we perform self care...) and actually loving yourself. Plus, a very important and exciting announcement.Connect with Maryellen:maryellendance.comIG: @okayishpodcast
Today, Maryellen chats with fellow therapist Alaina Brubaker, LMFT. They get into the nitty gritty of how rewarding hard work on your mental health can be. A sustainable relationship with the world is better than a perfect one.Connect with Alaina:IG: @alaina_talks_therapyConnect with Maryellen:maryellendance.comIG: @okayishpodcast
Today, Maryellen dives into some recent trends she's seen in psychology and mental health. She reminds us that despite how we may feel, we're resilient.Connect with Maryellen:maryellendance.comIG: @okayishpodcast
Maryellen describes an encounter with someone who claimed they "knew how to deal with their shit" and debunks stigma around asking for help when it comes to mental health--especially in a long, busy month like January.Connect with Maryellen:maryellendance.comIG: @okayishpodcast
Today, Maryellen talks about common therapy stigmas and misconceptions--and debunks them!Connect with Maryellen:maryellendance.comIG: @okayishpodcast
Today, Maryellen chats with Rochester's Renée LaPoint, president of The Mediation Center. Hear about the importance of mediation and why it's okay to ask for help when it comes to your relationship. You have OPTIONS!Connect with Renée:mediationctr.com/renee-lapoint/Connect with Maryellen:maryellendance.comIG: @okayishpodcast
Today, Maryellen reminds us that struggling during the holidays is normal! She gives us five emergency tips on how to stay sane this holiday season.Connect with Maryellen:maryellendance.comIG: @okayishpodcast
Today, Maryellen pivots to debunk myths about the brain. Have you ever heard that 85 per cent of our thoughts are negative? Or that we only use 10 per cent of our brain?Connect with Maryellen:maryellendance.comIG: @okayishpodcast
Today, Maryellen dives on a touchy topic: biases. We all have them, and we may not even notice some of them.Connect with Maryellen:maryellendance.comIG: @okayishpodcast
Happy December! Today, Maryellen reflects on how much we've been through the last two years. We're all feeling a little crazy, and honestly, it would be weirder if we weren't.Connect with Maryellen:maryellendance.comIG: @okayishpodcast
Today, hear the rest of Maryellen's conversation with Keya's World! Today they cover Rachel and Dave Hollis, and multi-level marketing companies. Plus--Keya gets personal about how she's okay-ish.Connect with Keya:Youtube: KeyasWorldPatreon: Keyas WorldTwitter: @Keyas_WorldConnect with Maryellen:maryellendance.comIG: @okayishpodcast
Today, Maryellen sits down with Keya (of the Keya's World YouTube channel) to get real about mental health, toxic positivity, and more. This interview turned out a little long, so it will be broken into two parts. Tune in to Part 1 now!Connect with Keya:Youtube: KeyasWorldPatreon: Keyas WorldTwitter: @Keyas_WorldConnect with Maryellen:maryellendance.comIG: @okayishpodcast
Today, Maryellen takes a deeper look at imposter syndrome. Why do we doubt ourselves and how can we deal with it? Is 'imposter' even the right word?Connect with Maryellen:maryellendance.comIG: @okayishpodcast
Today, Maryellen flips the script and describes what happen when we talk about our feelings too much.Connect with Maryellen:maryellendance.comIG: @okayishpodcast
Today, Maryellen discusses the unique mental health challenges men face with Jeff Hoffman, founder of Visible Man.Connect with Jeff:visibleman.orgIG: @visibleman_orgTwitter: @VisiblemanOFacebook: Visible ManJoin the Visible Man Discord chat here!https://discord.com/invite/BVQwwJ5Connect with Maryellen:maryellendance.comIG: @okayishpodcast
Today, Maryellen tackles how hard it is being a kid in 2021. Being a kid is tough as it is, and between COVID-19 and social media, our children could use some extra support.
Today, Maryellen discusses self awareness. Though it's unpleasant at times, the authenticity and personal power it brings us is worth it.
Maryellen talks about communication--a topic she's covered in many different ways before. Today, she covers the truth about communication, the honesty it takes, and what gaslighting really is.
In this episode, Maryellen chats with Andrea and Casandra from Peace Project. A mental health counseling group founded during the COVID-19 pandemic. Peace Project aims to support its local community by offering a person-centered approach to mental health.Connect with Peace Project:www.peaceproject.lifeIG: @peaceproject_lmhc
Welcome back! Today, Maryellen talks about rest and why it's so important to take breaks and cut some slack for your mind, body, and heart.
In the season one finale, Maryellen recaps her greatest hits and says farewell for now ahead of a month long break.
Today, Maryellen interviews Erin Pytlak, LMHC. Erin works alongside Maryellen at her private practice, Pittsford Therapy. They go deep on their wildest therapist stories, from clients who overstep boundaries to their own embarrassing moments .IG: @pittsfordtherapypittsfordtherapy.comIG: @maryellendancemaryellendance.comdaydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2okayishpodcast.com
Maryellen talks copings skills--what they are, what they're for, and how to make sure you're coping in healthy ways.
Maryellen dives into the world of confidence and how we can boost our confidence through the work of famous psychologist Albert Bandura. As we teach our kids they’re capable of doing anything in the world, we build their perception of what they're capable of doing. Confidence isn’t a fixed attribute and can change over time. There are those who are overconfident and come off as cocky, the secret is they’re insecure--confidence isn’t about boasting about ourselves and abilities. 1. Mastery Experiences: To be confident, we have to look at our previous success to move forward and build off of. 2. Vicarious Learning: It’s as simple as if she/he/they can do it, then I can do it too. (And no this is not comparing ourselves to others abilities) 3. Modeling: Modeling a behavior that we see hope and potential in to get us results. 4. Social Persuasion: By receiving positive reinforcement we can build our confidence, even if we aren’t perfect. Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 42 - Toxic Positivity: Mary Ellen shares what toxic positivity is and how it’ll not only damage our emotions but can be seen as a new form of gaslighting, and gives us 5 tips on how to handle toxic positivity in person and social media. Episode 28 -Self Esteem Pt. 4: Following Mary Ellen’s episodes on Self Esteem, she goes into how self esteem affects relationships with positive and negative examples and gives us 3 takeaways on self esteem in relationships. Episode 46 - Women’s Brains VS Men’s Brains: Chemistry or Socialization?: Mary Ellen gives us the 4 myths of the differences between men and women ranging from sex talk to opposites attract, and the use of our brains. Hint: all brains function and look the same. Episode 47 -Love: Are We Doing it Right?: Mary Ellen shares the 2 major types of love along with 2 major predictors of who we will fall in love with, and to top it off enlightens us with how we can build our relationships based off the 5 love languages. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com The host: https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
From learning that men and women come from the same planet and how understanding each other’s love languages can grow a relationship, in today’s continuation on the journey of love Mary Ellen dives into the importance of communication. In communication, there are key components to look at other than what comes out of our mouth and what we hear through our ears, such as what we say nonverbally through our facial expressions. As our facial muscles send messages to our brains when an emotion is being expressed, we normally show these expressions first nonverbally than verbally. Along with other key components of communication, the 3 best tips on communication are 1. Don’t assume what others are thinking, 2. Try to not lead off with “you” when expressing feelings, and 3. State your needs. Hear more about the science behind our emotions and some personal stories of Mary Ellen going through the ups and downs of discovering how to communicate not only as a therapist but as an Okay-ish person. Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 47 -Love: Are We Doing it Right?: Maryellen shares the 2 major types of love along with 2 major predictors of who we will fall in love with, and to top it off enlightens us with how we can build our relationships based off the 5 love languages. Episode 42 - Toxic Positivity: Maryellen shares what toxic positivity is and how it’ll not only damage our emotions but can be seen as a new form of gaslighting, and gives us 5 tips on how to handle toxic positivity in person and social media. Episode 45 - How Attachment Styles Affects Your Relationships : In this episode, Mary Ellen shows us the 3 types of attachment styles: anxious, secure, and avoidant, and how they grow on us as kids through adulthood. Episode 46 - Women’s Brains VS Men’s Brains: Chemistry or Socialization?: Maryellen gives us the 4 myths of the differences between men and women ranging from sex talk to opposites attract, and the use of our brains. Hint: all brains function and look the same. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
On today’s episode, Mary Ellen indulges us with more on the topic of love and relationships by sharing the 2 major types of love, 2 major predictors of who you will love, and brushes over the 5 love languages. To start off, the 2 types of love people have are companionate and passionate. A companionate love shows two people who trust each other and share affection whereas passionate love shows a couple who are caught up in the honeymoon stage showing passion and short term love. Bringing back the attachment styles, our brains recognize love when we attach to someone that’ll send off the hug hormone, oxytocin, but this can send the hormone off consistently or inconsistently depending on a secure or insecure attachment. Following the 2 types of loves, Mary Ellen shares the 2 major predictors of who we love. First being we fall in love with people who are close to us, distance and relationship wise. And second is we fall in love with people who are similar to us where in this case, following Mary Ellen’s most recent episode, opposites don’t attract. To top everything off, Mary Ellen gives us the 5 love languages which are: acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, and gifts. To help us build our relationships and grow is understanding our partners love language to maintain a balanced connection. Don’t miss the chance to hear more about the online dating world and what psychologists have to say! Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 45 - How Attachment Styles Affects Your Relationships : In this episode, Mary Ellen shows us the 3 types of attachment styles: anxious, secure, and avoidant, and how they grow on us as kids through adulthood. Episode 46 - Women’s Brains VS Men’s Brains: Chemistry or Socialization?: Stripping away the phrase “Men are from Mars and women are from Venus”, Mary Ellen gives us the 4 myths of the differences between men and women ranging from sex talk to opposites attract, and the use of our brains. Hint: all brains function and look the same. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
Continuing the theme of relationships and looking at how couples interact with one another, Mary Ellen strips away 4 myths of the differences between men and women while showing us the biggest advice when helping with couples.
Starting off with myth #1: Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Putting it into simple terms, mens and women’s brains are constructed differently. According to scientific studies, both mens and women’s brains are built and look similar. While some men are taught to not express their emotions and be more confident, this has no correlation to the brain's activity but is all due to socialization.
Myth #2: Women want relationships and men want sex: Relating to myth #1, it’s all due to socialization. Coming from Mary Ellen’s experience with couples, women also want sex too. Key point is to look at each other's love language and not fall into the stereotype of thinking what men and women want.
Myth #3: Opposites attract: By looking more closely at each other's deep values and core beliefs, you’ll notice how opposites don’t get along with each other rather than noticing different hobbies they enjoy or different foods they like.
Finally myth #4: Some people are right brained and some are left: According to research, the brain functions best when both sides work together. Similar to myth #1 where the issue is socialization not brain chemistry, if one person is more emotionally open than the other that’s not because they're using one side of the brain than the other, it’s again due to how we socially interact with others and are raised.
Overall, with heterosexual couples the best way to think about differences is to understand one another’s experiences and see what the person has been through. Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 45 - How Attachment Styles Affects Your Relationships : Maryellen shows us the 3 types of attachment styles: anxious, secure, and avoidant, and how they grow on us as kids through adulthood. Episode 28 -Self Esteem Pt. 4: Following Maryellen’s episodes on Self Esteem, she goes into how self esteem affects relationships with positive and negative examples and gives us 3 takeaways on self esteem in relationships. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
Ever wonder why babies have different reactions to their moms leaving the room, whether it’s crying and being hysterical or acting calm and collected, or isolating themselves and avoiding everyone? Mary Ellen explains how these 3 examples are all considered the 3 attachment styles: anxious, secure, and avoidant. By going through each scenario in more depth and looking at the relationships of babies and mothers, we grow these attachment styles from birth and latch onto them throughout our lives. By being controlled with these unconscious stories that build up in our minds as infants, Mary Ellen explains how baby’s attachment styles are similar to adults in that they portray a defense mechanism and explains some clients she’s worked with that represent avoidant and anxious. With all this talk about babies and relationships, can we ever change these habits of having anxious and avoidant attachment styles? The answer is: yes! Hear all about what it’s like to experience an anxious, secure, and avoidant attachment style and how people can overcome anxious and avoidant styles to become secure by Mary Ellen’s tips and questions to ask. Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 40 - Defense Mechanisms: In this episode, Mary Ellen dives into 6 defensive mechanisms and how each one is a form of coping and hiding our emotions through denial, repression, projection, displacement, regression, and rationalization. Episode 43 - What You Don’t Know About Anxiety: As we all battle a nasty liar in our brain, Mary Ellen shows us the 5 types of anxiety disorder and how we can become a rationalized person as well as bring light to cognitive behavioral therapy. Episode 39: All About Trauma: (TW) In this episode, Mary Ellen tells the truth about trauma and its relation to eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy (not it’s not hypnotism) while also guiding you through the symptoms and different types of traumas there are and give you advice on processing it. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/ https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
Celebrating Pride Month, Mary Ellen interviews friend Trevor, a licensed realtor from NY, to bring light on what it means to be a part of the LGBTQ community and their personal experience. Growing up in a small town with only one doctor and counselor, Trevor felt a lack of support and was only able to express his partial self in the theater arts program at school and through his parents and brother. With pressure being put on him on his way to college, Trevor visited therapists and grew the confidence he needed to fully express his sexuality in NY by finding support groups on campus, his current therapist, and being offered a job that accepted who he is. Going through his job as a realtor, Trevor points out the dos and don’ts of when is appropriate to ask about someone’s sexuality in a professional setting, as well as not having to dress the part for people to accept you. This is a heart lifting episode everyone should tune into to learn how you can be an ally to the LGBTQ community and hear how you can seek help if you need support. Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 39: All About Trauma: (TW) In this episode, Maryellen tells the truth about trauma and its relation to eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy (not it’s not hypnotism) while also guiding you through the symptoms and different types of traumas there are and give you advice on processing it. Episode 34 -Stress Awareness Month: In this episode, Maryellen stresses the powerful emotion of stress and shares the 3 common types of stress: alarm, resistance, and exhaustion. As stressed as we might feel, Maryellen guides us through properly recognizing our stress and the damages it can cause us if we ignore it. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/ https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
We’ve all had the feeling of anxiety and feeling a sort of panic attack, but how does anxiety work and what’s the “cure”? Mary Ellen dives into this episode with hard facts in uncovering the truths of anxiety disorder and how not everyone can endure an anxiety disorder but have anxiety. As Mary Ellen’s goal is to bring to light the types of anxiety disorders, reminder to not go and diagnose yourself with any of these disorders as this is to inform and educate you not to therapize you. Going through generalized anxiety disorder, to phobias, agoraphobia, social anxiety disorder, and panic disorder, these all fall under the category of anxiety disorder and all share the same irrational thoughts in our brain. For those who may suffer from these disorders, Mary Ellen explains the process of cognitive behavioral treatment/therapy and her own method with patients to help look at logistics and fight against the nasty irrational liar that’s in our brain. Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 40 - Defense Mechanisms: In this episode, Mary Ellen dives into 6 defensive mechanisms and how each one is a form of coping and hiding our emotions through denial, repression, projection, displacement, regression, and rationalization. Episode 35- Emotional Fitness with Karin Gold: Get the chance to meet Karin Gold, owner of emotional fitness gym Coa, about what it means to be a Coa participant, the 8 week emotional fitness series, and all about how Karin’s goal is to make mental health proactive and accessible through physical and mental fitness. Episode 22- The Dark Side of Wellness: Maryellen exposes pursuing wellness as a mechanism to set aside our dark emotions and live up to societal expectations of following self care. In order to achieve wellness, feelings such as guilt, anxiety, and stress are meant to be felt. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
We’ve all tried to cheer someone up, but have you or a friend said something positive with no meaning behind it? Maryellen expresses how toxic positivity has grown in the past year from COVID and how it’s an inauthentic way of expressing our true emotions by minimizing them and acting fake. This can also be a form of gaslighting, questioning people’s thoughts and sense of reality by manipulation. Maryellen shows us examples of toxic positivity and how ignoring our emotions can damage not only ourselves but loved ones around us and gives us 5 ways to deal with this toxicity.
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Recognize the toxic positivity
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Remember basic facts about feelings such as they’re meant to be felt and are dichotomous
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Don’t feed into it, follow Maryellen’s rule of thumb: only offer advice when asked
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Go off social media
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Know that we are all Okay-ish
Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 11: Understanding and Overcoming Trendy Therapy Terms: Focusing on pop culture, Maryellen shows what a positive mindset actually looks like compared to the trendy hashtags on social media. This episode educates those on how coaches and therapists are different and how psychology is a part of mindset and motivation. Episode 19 - Feeling and Showing Gratitude: Continuing the discussion of family, Maryellen explores the idea of gratitude and why posing genuine feelings is necessary in family relationships, as well as giving you 3 tips on what not to do when thinking of gratitude. Episode 21: Is This Manifesting Thing Worth It?: Entering 2021, Maryellen breaks down the term manifesting and explains what the law of attraction is (not scientific based) and how there’s good and bad positive thinking. This is an episode all about the chain reaction of thoughts, actions, and feelings. Episode 40 - Defense Mechanisms: In this episode, Maryellen dives into 6 defensive mechanisms and how each one is a form of coping and hiding our emotions through denial, repression, projection, displacement, regression, and rationalization. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/ https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
Following the trendy term “empath”, Maryellen shares her own scientific research and statistics on the word and how it’s a synonym to empathy, but in a narcissistic way. To start off, Maryellen exposes the term “empath” and how it originated from a Star Trek character who healed people’s pain by taking it as their own and how pop culture has turned it into a reality. As empathy is the ability to share feelings of another person and is the foundation of functioning in society and building relationships, there are different levels of assessing people’s feelings and recognizing people’s emotions. With “empath” trending and people diagnosing themselves as an empath, along with Facebook groups for empaths being created, Maryellen shows the hard facts and statistics of how being an empath isn’t a spiritual gift/talent but is just a person who has no boundaries or is someone who experienced past trauma and experiences burnout from feeling others emotions. This episode isn’t to discourage you but to help you see the issue from a therapist's point of view and peel back the layers to help you understand from a psychological and mental health perspective. Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 36 - Sorry, Not Sorry: In this episode, Maryellen explains the difference in authenticity of saying sorry and apologizing with the 3 Do’s and Don’ts of apologizing. Episode 19 - Feeling and Showing Gratitude: Continuing the discussion of family, Maryellen explores the idea of gratitude and why posing genuine feelings is necessary in family relationships, as well as giving you 3 tips on what not to do when thinking of gratitude. Episode 18: Family Boundaries: It’s that time of year again to be with the whole family but aren't prepared for the family drama and uncomfortable situations. Maryellen digs into boundaries, what they are, how we set them up, and reminds us that setting boundaries is for ourselves. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/ https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
At the show's 40 episode landmark, Maryellen discusses six common types of defense mechanisms we (and the people around us) use all the time. 1. Denial: by not accepting the painful truth we lie our way through the pain and eventually feed into these lies. 2. Repression: related to traumatic experiences, we push memories out of our unconscious to forget. 3. Projection: with families, couples, and friendships we blame our insecurities and mistakes on the ones we love as opposed to being held accountable. 4. Displacement: relating to the phrase “we hurt the people we love” we take our anger out on people who are considered acceptable and displace our feelings. 5. Regression: in stressful, overwhelming situations we revert back to our childlike behaviors such as whining or laughing in high tension situations. 6. Rationalization: in a situation that’s hard to process we rationalize our thoughts by creating “excuses'” or reasons to accept the situation such as saying the phrase “it was god's will” or “at least I didn’t hurt anyone”. Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 39: All About Trauma: (TW) In this episode, Maryellen tells the truth about trauma and its relation to eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy (not it’s not hypnotism) while also guiding you through the symptoms and different types of traumas there are and give you advice on processing it. Episode 34 -Stress Awareness Month: In this episode, Maryellen stresses the powerful emotion of stress and shares the 3 common types of stress: alarm, resistance, and exhaustion. As stressed as we might feel, Maryellen guides us through properly recognizing our stress and the damages it can cause us if we ignore it. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
Trigger Warning: This episode goes into depth on trauma and experiences of it so some information shared may be sensitive. In today’s episode, Maryellen talks about what trauma is by breaking down the process of saving information in the brain and how memories become traumatic. First things first, trauma and PTSD are not connected in the sense that you can experience traumatic events without PTSD. As both are serious topics, Maryellen explains how having a traumatic experience doesn’t mean you have PTSD as well as experiences are different for everyone. One person may share the same traumatic incident but both will react differently. So, you’re probably wondering how our brains are connected to trauma. Maryellen shares how information goes through our limbic system and travels to the cortex, but some information stays in our limbic system, which causes trauma. As Maryellen explores how people respond to trauma, such as disassociating or being retraumatized, she reveals the truth on EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy) and how it’s not hypnosis but a way to allow information in our limbic system to flow. This is an episode full of facts, science, and personal experiences which you can utilize to help those around you who suffer from trauma. Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 38: Borderline Personality Disorder: Entering Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness month, Maryellen breaks down the stigmas of BPD and shares its relation to people with trauma or PTSD with its symptoms and 4 tips on how you can better understand BPD. Episode 32 - Suicidal Ideation: Maryellen brings to light the topic of suicide and shares the 4 motives of suicide as well as breaking down the stigmas of suicide while also giving you information and facts on everything you need to know behind the action. As some key factors of sucide may be mental health issues, alcoholism, PTSD, or others, Maryellen guides you through this episode on understanding the motives. Episode 31: COVID Anniversary: After going through a year of COVID, Maryellen shares 4 tips on how you can process traumatic memories associated with COVID and optimize your emotions and feelings to battle COVID in a positive way. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
As May is Borderline Disorder Awareness month, Maryellen breaks down the stigma of borderline personality disorder by guiding us through what it means to have this disorder, symptoms people may have, and giving us 4 tips on how we can help those around us who suffer from BPD. DO NO SELF DIAGNOSE! Everyone gets moody, but it doesn't mean you have BPD. BPD is defined as a rigid and enduring pattern of behavior that impairs life via extreme and dysfunctional personality traits. People with trauma or PTSD are more likely to have borderline personality disorder and can experience: major mood swings, unstable emotions, and impulsive behavior. As BPD is also associated with alcoholism, anxiety, and depression, Maryellen also explains the truth behind self harm and how it’s a serious matter but for a different motive. If you or a loved one suffers from BDP, here are Maryellen’s 4 tips on how you/others can better understand BPD:
Read the book “I Hate You- Don’t Leave Me”.
During someone’s mood swings with BPD, stay neutral and don’t defend yourself.
When coming to terms on relying on someone who has borderline personality disorder, it depends on the friend whether they are getting treatment or choosing not to.
Recognize when someone with BPD is acting differently.
Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 37- Alcoholism Awareness Month: Join Maryellen in this fact heavy episode on uncovering the dangers of alcoholism and the top 3 facts to help us understand alcohol. Episode 29- Self Harm Awareness: Maryellen dives into the truth of self harm, how it’s not correlated with suicidal behaviors and categorizes the types of self harm. The categories broken down for the types of self harm are: attention seeking, self punishment, and stress relief. Maryellen explores each of these groups and explains how to manage the addiction of self harm. Episode 39: All About Trauma: (TW) In this episode, Maryellen tells the truth about trauma and its relation to eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy (not it’s not hypnotism) while also guiding you through the symptoms and different types of traumas there are and give you advice on processing it. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.
Trigger warning: If you or a loved one is struggling with alcohol addiction, please call NCADD at 1-800-622-2255 or SAMHSA at 1-800-662-4357 for assistance and information.As April is Alcohol Awareness Month, Maryellen dives into uncovering the dangers of alcohol addiction with statistics showing:
14.4 million Americans have an alcohol use disorder
2 billion people consume alcohol in the whole world
26% of Americans report binge drinking
Although this episode highlights the dangers of alcohol, Maryellen provides 3 facts to help us understand alcohol and look at our relationship with alcohol:
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Alcohol overdose and withdrawal are both deadly, literally.
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Alcohol is ranked higher than opiods and other drugs combined as a cause of death.
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All alcoholism effects are different for everyone.
This episode isn’t to scare you away from alcohol, but to give you information about the dangers of alcohol, how you can help your loved ones, and hear from a counselor’s perspective. Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 32 - Suicidal Ideation: Maryellen brings to light the topic of suicide and shares the 4 motives of suicide as well as breaking down the stigmas of suicide while also giving you information and facts on everything you need to know behind the action. As some key factors of sucide may be mental health issues, alcoholism, PTSD, or others, Maryellen guides you through this episode on understanding the motives. Episode 34 -Stress Awareness Month: In this episode, Maryellen stresses the powerful emotion of stress and shares the 3 common types of stress: alarm, resistance, and exhaustion. As stressed as we might feel, Maryellen guides us through properly recognizing our stress and the damages it can cause us if we ignore it. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
Maryellen covers the big S: sorry. She talks about the difference between saying sorry and apologizing, and gives 3 dos and 3 don'ts for a good apology.Have you ever heard people say “Sorry not sorry” or an insincere sorry? Well, join Maryellen’s crash course on diving into the word sorry and where sorry came from and distinguishing sorry vs. apologize. As sorry has been used by everyone of us, including celebrities, influencers, politicians, literally EVERYONE, over the past years it’s lost its sentimental meaning and has turned into a self empowerment or sarcastic word such as Demi Lovato singing her song “Sorry Not Sorry” using the word sorry as an indication of “sorry not sorry for who I am” or celebrities publicly saying sorry but they don’t mean it. So then what is the solution of saying sorry and really meaning it? You use the word “apologize” and apologizing and saying sorry are to completely opposite actions and hold different sentimental value. Now here are the 3 Dos and 3 Don’ts of apologizes:
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DON’T blame the other person when you are apologizing, aka be responsible for your actions and hold yourself accountable.
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DON’T explain your past, the point is to apologize and move forward with new behaviors and attitudes.
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DON’T apologize if you don’t mean it, it’s as simple as that.
Now for the Dos:
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DO thank the other person for understanding.
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DO be sincere as the reason you’re apologizing is to show you’re regretful of your actions.
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DO (if you’re feeling nice) give apology gifts as this is a gesture to show your assurance in changing your behavior
Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 19 - Feeling and Showing Gratitude: Continuing the discussion of family, Maryellen explores the idea of gratitude and why posing genuine feelings is necessary in family relationships, as well as giving you 3 tips on what not to do when thinking of gratitude. Episode 42 - Toxic Positivity: Maryellen dives into the way faking a smile can negatively affect our mental health and those around us. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/ https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
Introducing Karin Gold, a licensed marriage and family therapist in California who runs and emotional fitness gym called Coa. Karin has been in the therapy field for 6-7 years. Her inspiration for becoming a therapist was her love of giving advice and getting to the nitty gritty of mental issues such as suicide, depression, anxiety, and so many more. With Coa, the goal of the emotional fitness gym is to make mental health as proactive and accessible as possible including physical fitness either by joining their 8 week series program or just meeting one on one with professional licensed therapists. In the 8 week series, you focus on 7 traits of emotional fitness which include: self awareness, empathy, mindfulness, curiosity, play, resilience, and communication. After completing the 8 week series, you’re able to join a practice pod at Coa, which allows you to put your skills to use and interact with other trainees and have the ability to explore yourself and give/get support. Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 22- The Dark Side of Wellness: Maryellen exposes pursuing wellness as a mechanism to set aside our dark emotions and live up to societal expectations of following self care. In order to achieve wellness, feelings such as guilt, anxiety, and stress are meant to be felt. Tune into this episode to learn more about opening up about our emotions and feelings and how we can be okay-ish. Episode 33 - Bipolar Awareness: In this episode, Maryellen describes the two types of bipolar disorders and shares the misconceptions of the mental illness, and no it’s not just having mood swings. She explains how depression is a part of being bipolar and how to handle experiencing so many emotions at once, along with sharing insight on what it’s like to suffer from bipolar disorder. Episode 24 - Wellness With Depression: To wrap up the series on wellness, Maryellen explores the relation of wellness and depression and explains how the mental illness can have different effects on people as well as breaking down misconceptions of depression. Follow or Find us at: The guest:https://joincoa.com/IG: @joincoaTwitter: @joincoa The show:https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
Maryellen dedicates an entire episode to stress for the first time. She talks about how reactive stress makes us, and how we opt for quick fixes in place of the lifestyle changes that bring real stress relief. April 2021 is Stress Awareness Month. Most people who reach out to schedule a therapy appointment do so because they’re stressed. We’re often very reactive to stress, feeling that next steps or relief need to come right now in the next few moments. Stress cleaning is another great example of this concept. Stress is a very powerful emotion that we will always face, but your relationship with stress does not have to be so negatively reactive. Stress is an evolutionary response:
Stress releases cortisol.
Stress paralyzes our parasympathetic nervous system.
There are three phases of stress:
Alarm
Resistance
Exhaustion
There are no quick fixes for minimizing stress. Kelly McGonagal used to study how to minimize or resist stress, until she realized that doesn’t work. She now helps people view stress more positively, to be more resilient. Maryellen challenges us to rethink how we view a stressful situation and how to more positively view it and move forward. Who this Episode is Great For We’re not fibbing when we say there’s not a single person out there who doesn’t deal with stress! This episode was made to benefit those young and old, working or stay-at-home, in-office or teleworking, single or in a relationship, small town or big city - you get the idea! Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 22- The Dark Side of Wellness: Maryellen exposes pursuing wellness as a mechanism to set aside our dark emotions and live up to societal expectations of following self care. In order to achieve wellness, feelings such as guilt, anxiety, and stress are meant to be felt. Episode 14- Why it’s Okay-ish to Experience ‘Burn Out’: Maryellen explains how burn out is exhaustion from chronic stress and shows how not only do people feel burn out, but therapists do too. When recognizing signs for being burned out, Maryellen shares her top 4 tips on how to avoid and manage burnout by simply: 1. Recognizing your burnout, 2. Setting boundaries for yourself, 3. Asking for help, and 4. Taking time away. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/ https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
Opening with Bipolar Awareness Day, Maryellen articulates what it means to be Bipolar, and no it is not just being moody one minute and the next being completely normal. Diving into bipolar disorder, Maryellen distinguishes the two types of sicknesses as Bipolar 1 and Bipolar 2. With these two types of bipolar disorders, they relate in the sense of experiencing depression, but differ in being manic or hypomanic AKA having dangerously high levels of energy or moderate levels of energy for different periods of time. Now that we’ve covered the type kinds of bipolar disorder, how do we have a better understanding of handling this mental illness? Maryellen breaks down the stigma of bipolar disorder and clearly points out NO ONE IS DANGEROUS WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER. If you don’t believe it, hear one of Maryellen’s friends experiences with having this mental illness. They share their misconception of what having bipolar disorder is, along with their story of getting the proper help they needed. So let’s stop and think twice the next time we use the phrase “Oh, they’re just being bipolar”, because are they really? Who this Episode is Great For Ever get called bipolar from your friends or family just by experiencing regular mood swings? This episode is a wake up call for everyone who stigmatizes bipolar disorder and explains the true experience of being bipolar and having depressive and bipolar episodes. Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 32 - Suicidal Ideation: Maryellen gets to the nitty gritty concept of suicide and breaks down the 4 motives of committing suicide. Along with these 4 motives, stress, mental health disorders, and isolation play a factor into this episode. Maryellen guides you through the misunderstandings and hard facts of suicide, as well as expose teen suicide. Episode 1 - Therapy Myths 101: Maryellen gives her top 5 myths of therapy and tells the truth of therapists. Her top 5 myths include: therapists diagnosing patients, therapists being white old men, therapists only saying the phrase, “how does that make you feel”, lying down during your therapy session, and blaming all your issues on your mother. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/ https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
Trigger Warning: If you or a loved one are struggling with suicidal ideation, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. Available 24/7.For Teen Health Awareness Day, Maryellen gets down to the nitty gritty concept of suicide and shares the top 4 common motives as to why people commit suicide. Starting from the death seeker to death initiator, death darer, and death ignorer, Maryellen analyzes each influence of suicide and points out how mental heatlh disorders, especially stress, can also play a factor into committing suicide. With spotting out the common misconceptions of suicide, Maryellen throws in data analysis collected from 2019 sharing the hard facts of suicide rates. One of the biggest fears Maryellen expresses is the possible increase in teen suicide as teens misunderstand the view of suicide and commonly commit suicide as an act of following in the steps of celebrities or tv shows. With going over the motives for suicide, teen influences ,and myths of suicide, you’ll have a better understanding of why people commit suicide and reach out to your loved ones or family members. Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 29- Self Harm Awareness: Maryellen dives into the truth of self harm, how it’s not correlated with suicidal behaviors and categorizes the types of self harm. The categories broken down for the types of self harm are: attention seeking, self punishment, and stress relief. Maryellen explores each of these groups and explains how to manage the addiction of self harm. Episode 33 - Bipolar Awareness: Maryellen describes the two types of bipolar disorders and shares the misconceptions of being bipolar, and no it’s not just having mood swings. She explains how depression is a part of being bipolar and how to handle experiencing so many emotions at once, along with sharing insight on what it’s like to suffer from bipolar disorder. Episode 34 -Stress Awareness Month: In this episode, Maryellen stresses the powerful emotion of stress and shares the 3 common types of stress: alarm, resistance, and exhaustion. As stressed as we might feel, Maryellen guides us through properly recognizing our stress and the damages it can cause us if we ignore it. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/ https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
Congratulations! You just survived one year of COVID! After enduring all the stress and anxiety from COVID, Maryellen guides you through processing your traumatic memories with COVID and helps you see the brighter side of going into 2021. A year of COVID has caused everyone to at least have one or two dreadful memories and feel all the waves of emotions, but sit back and relax as the hard times are over. By following these 4 tips, you’ll be able to control your feelings, cope the way you think is best for you, and not let the COVID stress take over your life. These tips are to help you see your battle with COVID in a positive way, to be able to “see the brighter side”
Be flexible. Be flexible with your emotions, allow yourself to feel negative emotions
Your emotions are okay. You don't need an excuse to be angry or sad or happy, and you don't need anyone validating your emotions.
We are only human, allow yourself to feel all your feelings, “feelings are like waves, they come and go”
Don’t cope by listening to others. You do you.
Don’t follow the trend and cope by exercising or changing your diet, everyone has a different coping mechanism.
Figure out what coping mechanism works for you.
Third Additional tip: Don't judge the way you cope. Whatever makes you feel good, keep doing it
Don’t ask yourself “What If…” Don’t express your fear by asking what if scenarios and dig yourself into a dark hole. As all emotions are meant to be felt, don’t allow fear to control you.
Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 5 - The Dreaded Episode All About Self Care: Maryellen cuts to the chase and skips the “Live Laugh Love” cliche by breaking down what self care actually is. She gives her insight on why the term “self care” isn’t really self care unless it helps you. This episode crashes on the trend of self care and how there is more meaning to self care than a simple hashtag. Episode 23 -We’re Still In COVID: Taking a step back to January, This episode recaps the ups and downs of COVID as well as highlighting 3 wellness tips to continue the fight against quarantine. Maryellen digs deep into our emotions and guides us to wellness by telling us to: give ourselves a break, go outside and feel the fresh air, stick to a schedule, and keep our brain distracted. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/ https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
Maryellen provides a 'crash course' overview on some childhood specific disorders to share what they can actually look like. Hint: it's different than what you might think.Visit chadd.org for ADHD resources.
Debunking myths about what self harm is and how to help.If you are struggling with self injury please text HOME (that's 4663) to 741741 for resources and assistance.
First, a big announcement: Maryellen just released her new book, the It's Okay to be Okay-ish Journal. Check it out here!Obviously when talking about self esteem there had to be an episode about romantic relationships and how those impact self esteem. Learn about what high functioning relationships look like, what gaslighting means, and how to maintain self esteem no matter what your relationship is. If you are in a relationship involving financial, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse please call 1-800-799-SAFE for resources.
Maryellen talks with speaker, Dan Faill, all about self esteem in men, failure, and how he maintains his self esteem.
Maryellen dives into what's going WRONG when talking about self esteem and how to switch the self esteem conversations to positive things that will actually help us feel better!
Self Esteem, Self Concept, Self Awareness, oh my! Maryellen kicks off 'boost self esteem month' by talking about what self esteem means, the difference between self esteem, self concept, and self awareness, and she gives two very important tricks to managing self esteem.
Maryellen continues to chat about wellness but while talking about depression. Maryellen shares how you can actually be experiencing depression and continue to promote your own mental wellness at the same time!
Maryellen continues to talk about wellness, but wellness during COVID, this never ending pandemic. Maryellen ties in ideas from past episodes and shared the top 3 tips for wellness in COVID
Maryellen challenges the mental wellness trend by pointing out how it can actually be dangerous for our mental health.
Maryellen continues the conversation about new year’s goals and mindsets by diving in to the ever so popular fad of manifesting your goals.
FINALLY, saying goodbye to dreadful 2020 and starting a new hopeful year in 2021! Well, almost hopeful. We’ve all heard or said the phrase “new year, new me” as we enter the new year with so many New Year's resolutions hoping to fulfill them, but why do we never follow through with them for the whole year? Maryellen expresses her dislike of New Years as there’s so much pressure on herself for the upcoming year for it to be perfect and “magical”. As COVID ruined 2020, based on a public survey 75% of people this year are making New Year's resolutions. Now, how do we make these goals turn into reality and stick to them? Maryellen shares some tips and steps on how to better your goals and make them attainable. To start off, you have to have the 2 M’s: mindset and motivation. Next, you need to make goals YOU would like to achieve, not because your friend is doing it or an influencer told you too. Now with this being said, the first step is to set realistic goals and the second step is to follow the SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time Based) goals. You’ll be able to hear all about SMART goals and how you can utilize each step to perfect your New Year's Resolution. Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 21: Is This Manifesting Thing Worth It?: Entering 2021, Maryellen breaks down the term manifesting and its correlation to the self help era along with answering questions on how manifesting works. Episode 23 -We’re Still In COVID: Taking a step back to January, This episode recaps the ups and downs of COVID as well as highlighting 3 wellness tips to continue the fight against quarantine. Maryellen digs deep into our emotions and guides us to wellness by telling us to: give ourselves a break, go outside and feel the fresh air, stick to a schedule, and keep our brain distracted. Episode 31: COVID Anniversary: After going through a year of COVID, Maryellen shares 4 tips on how you can process traumatic memories associated with COVID and optimize your emotions and feelings to battle COVID in a positive way. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/ https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
In this week's episode, Maryellen wraps up her family series by talking about gratitude and the many forms, mental processes, and genuine feelings we experience surrounding gratitude.
Learn what boundaries are and how to set boundaries with family members without creating the family fight of the century!
In Episode 17, Maryellen discusses why the holidays are such a stressful time within family systems, how to recognize your own triggers, and lastly, how to manage being around family.TUNE IN! You'll want to take notes on this one.
Maryellen shares a bit of background on family systems and roles and how that contributes to ‘The Most Wonderful Time of the Year’
In Episode 15, Maryellen looks at some of our concerns in a lighter way by showing how often, what’s best for us, is right in front of our faces!
In this episode of the OKAY-ish podcast, host and licensed mental health counselor Maryellen Dance talks all about burn out, and it's OKAY to experience this!
We all have those friends we can go to get helpful advice or vent, but at times we can feel that they’re going more into “therapy talk” than girl talk. In this episode, Maryellen shares the differences in talking to a friend and going to therapy. From Maryellen’s personal experience, the first thing to point out is therapy is not expensive girl talk. Yes, you may chat about the latest episode on the Bachelor or Bachelorette with your therapist, but Maryellen explains how this conversation topic is to build comfort and a connection with clients, not so much your typical “girl talk”. Now, here are the big 3 differences in therapy talk and girl talk: 1. You are biased with friends. 2. When talking about “gossip”, the reasons are different between friends and therapists. 3. Therapy conversations aren’t very fun. Not only does Maryellen differentiate friends and therapists, but she also gives 2 scenarios on how to respond when friends are either depending on you to be a therapist or they are therapizing you. This is an episode you won’t want to miss that’s full of guidance on how to properly give advice to a friend and not act like their therapist, as well as clarify the purpose of therapists. Like what you hear? Leave a review and give us a follow on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or any of your other favorite platforms! Related episodes Episode 1 -Therapy Myths 101: Maryellen gives her top 5 myths of therapy and tells the truth of therapists. Her top 5 myths include: therapists diagnosing patients, therapists being white old men, therapists only saying the phrase, “how does that make you feel”, lying down during your therapy session, and blaming all your issues on your mother. Episode 8: The Point of Therapy: Have you thought about going to therapy but don’t know what to say or expect? Maryellen reveals the behind the scenes on therapy sessions by sharing some of her clients successes stories and the reasons for going to therapy. Episode 18: Family Boundaries: It’s that time of year again to be with the whole family but aren't prepared for the family drama and uncomfortable situations. Maryellen digs into boundaries, what they are, how we set them up, and reminds us that setting boundaries is for ourselves. Follow or Find us at: The show: https://daydreamernetwork.com/okay-ish-2/ https://okayishpodcast.com/ The network: @daydreamernetwork https://daydreamernetwork.com Host’s Contact Info https://maryellendance.com/ @maryellendance About the HOST Maryellen Dance is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based out of upstate New York. She focuses on providing skills using cognitive behavioral therapy, often using mindfulness techniques that are vital to personal growth. With a passion for psychology and propensity to ask questions, Maryellen entered this field to educate, learn and share what it means to be “Okay-ish.”
In this episode, Maryellen shares funny personal stories while educating how even positive things that we can say can hurt others struggling with eating disorders. Have a story of someone saying something uncomfortable to you with good intentions? Feel free to share it with @maryellendance on Instagram! Instagram:@maryellendance@daydreamernetwork
Maryellen picks apart the trendy terms mindset and motivation to share what a positive mindset actually is and that it's more than just giving yourself a pep talk in the mirror every morning. Through doing this, Maryellen shares an overview of the differences between therapists and coaches, how some of those mindset hashtags can actually be detrimental, and how she overcame her own mindset to get a six pack (wait, she doesn't have a six pack, but she overcame her mindset to strive to get a six pack)! Instagram:@daydreamernetwork@maryellendance Website:www.daydreamernetwork.com
Maryellen dives into what goes on in a therapist’s head by reviewing what therapist’s learn in school and what makes therapists say the things they say. Maryellen shares the secret that no matter what therapy, therapists want their clients to be Okay-ish
Tune in to episode 9 where Maryellen interviews her first guest, Dr. Aimee Martinez, a clinical associate in training to become a certified psychoanalyst. Dr. Martinez received her Master’s and Doctorate education at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. In this episode, Maryellen and Dr. Martinez dive into psychoanalysis, what it is and who it can benefit.
Maryellen reviews some client success stories, discusses the goals of therapy, and why starting therapy doesn't mean you'll be sitting in that chair every week for the rest of your life. Learn about some real life interesting clients becoming okay-ish.
Join Maryellen for this super light hearted topic of vulnerability (ha!) Maryellen shares a bit about what vulnerability is, how therapist’s feel vulnerability, and how guess what, you can and should feel this scary emotion too.
Maryellen dives into all the words and phrases that all therapists seem to use, why therapists use them, their real meanings, and why "therapist words" might actually be helpful.Instagram:@daydreamernetwork @maryellendance
Maryellen dives into what self care is versus what mental health is, because guess what, they're different. Maryellen leaves you with some tips to achieve self care that works for you and don't worry, there's no catchy inspirational quotes involved.
In this episode, Maryellen shares a little bit about her history of how she became a therapist. She shows a more serious and stressful side of becoming a therapist, the judgments along the way, and why every therapist needs a therapist.Instagram:@maryellendance@daydreamernetwork
Ever wonder what your therapist is thinking? Whether or not therapists think about you when you’re not around or maybe you wonder if they judge you to all their colleagues? Maryellen dives into things that most therapists wish everyone knew about what it’s like to be a therapist and what therapists are really thinking about (hint: it’s mostly what they’re having for dinner that night and nothing to do with you)
Maryellen shares what it’s like to find a therapist, why it’s seemingly more complicated than it should be, and how finding a therapist can often end in complete disaster!
Maryellen introduces what Okay-Ish is all about and begins by sharing what therapy actually is. She delves into what you see in the movies versus what modern day therapy is using hilarious real life stories about people’s misconceptions on 'Therapy.’