My Heartsongs: Recent Episodes

Victor La Cerva

A podcast about conscious empowered masculinity, exploring all the vital areas of a man's life, including family, personal evolution, sexuality and love, friendship and solitude, success and right livelihood.

Imagine that your physical body is a playing piece on an intricate game board. The rules of the game keep changing, but one thing is certain: forward motion is desirable. Onward through the fog!

We seem so far from a world that works for everyone. Part of me says I do try to just keep lighting up my little corner of the world, and that is enough. Another part – perhaps an inner protector – exclaims “not my bailiwick.”

Mortality is front and center these days, and to ignore, deny, minimize or conceal that as I age does not serve me. As one friend poetically put it, the older we get the less we leave unspoken. And being present and showing up for the people I love seems to be a hallmark of healthy aging. I almost entitled today’s musings, when dark times serve us well. That reality we all can attest to, that hard times often open new doors of awareness, assist us to find support and resources – both inner and outer – we did not know existed.

I have been thinking a lot this week of the many many things I often take for granted. I find it a life affirming practice to regularly honor the wonderful creativity that humans are capable of, producing true miracles that enhance the quality of our lives, tools we can use every day to be better, more caring and compassionate humans.

Tender Loving Care comes to mind as an excellent bridge between freedom and escape when I am feeling a bit down. Not quite freedom, as in deep release from old habits and patterns that are not helpful. But also not really escape, this taking care of oneself, being kind to oneself, taking a needed rejuvenating break from the usual bruhaha.

MAHA (Make America Healthy Again) has recently been in the news quite a bit. I personally think RFK Jr is sometimes getting shortchanged by the left. This is someone who has willingly gone after all the stupid dyes and additives in foods, pointed out the significant downsides of processed foods, and is trying to revamp the vaccine adverse reporting system—something it badly needs for us all to feel safe taking vaccines.

Commonly labeled as the science of vibrations, numerology suggests that one’s birth date is particularly important. It is known as the life path number, which highlights core traits, and the letters of one’s name translated into additive numbers represent the expression number, reflecting potential and talents.

Today I want to highlight four aspects of THC use that I believe deserve further societal education and action. DWI, Cannabis Use Disorder, using during pregnancy and research on memory.

I discuss the hidden epidemics now affecting those who seek out drug explorations. Nitazenes, Medetomidine, Kratom and smuggling novel drug combos into prison, sprayed on paper and then smoked.

During my days actively working for the NM DOH, I would sometimes encounter difficult people. My basic premise, developed early on, and honed through years of personal explorations, is that such folks can be great teachers—whether the lesson be patience, setting good boundaries or just avoiding them for mental health’s sake.

There is an Italian word that captures the much-preferred slowing down to the pace of life quite nicely: Spensierato. Translated as carefree, it implies a relaxed approach to absolutely everything. Which got me musing on the beginnings of my own auto-obituary, which will take some time to complete to my own satisfaction. I offer some excerpts. Photo by Zinkevych from Freepix.

To honor my ongoing survival and the recent passing of dear friends, I offer some Jewish blessings, and a bit of anonymous humor, in the form of edited excerpts from an obituary that I found to be hilarious.

On the 3rd anniversary of my cancer diagnosis, I muse about the journey of a thousand miles and the Willow to Nome Iditarod, which started this week with great ceremony.

My attention is one of the valuable resources I possess. It involves key areas of the brain that allow me to focus and concentrate on a given task, whether that is making dinner, composing a song, groking some new Italian phrases, or jotting down some notes for a podcast that is yet to emerge.

The hungry ghost realm is one of insatiable desperate desire and greed; one of the lower states of consciousness in the endless cycle of samsara, it represents addiction, the proverbial hole in the soul where no matter how hard one pursues it, the external things never quite fill that inner void.

I am trying out a new lens for my daily experiences. Whatever is occurring, I simply ask “do I feel put upon, fairly neutral, or does it bring me joy?”

I often talk of the need for both center and edge in these podcasts. While I remain deeply grateful to live where I do, I really do sense a greater fragility in this country, especially since so many fellow Americans think things are humming along just fine. What mental planet do they inhabit?

On an individual level, no doubt that lifelong wisdom is often reluctantly acquired through turbulent life passages. As a species we seem to remain locked in an evolutionary snag, when it comes to balancing aggression with cooperation—both of which have ensured our survival for thousands of years. I had a direct experience with my own aggressive tendencies this last weekend.

Sometimes instead of knocking on wood like an ancient Druid attempting to wake up a tree, I tap my frontal skull to get my brain in gear, hopefully aligning attention with intention in the here and now.

I feel quite blessed to mostly take a pause from all the political shenanigans and goings on in the USA. I find myself apologizing to any foreigners we meet for our loco President, who certainly does not represent US. This Italian expression fits the mood perfectly: Avere un’ora d’aria, which translates roughly as to have a breath of fresh air / A moment of libertá or a pause in a stressful situation.

The world seems to be changing so fast, some days it feels like I have to pinch myself, a la Dorothy in the Wizard of OZ having a moment when she realizes she’s always had the power to go home, even without clicking her ruby slippers.

This time of year, I am inclined to redouble my efforts to get rid of stuff, even as the inevitable “cheer” of the season will increase – at least temporarily – the number of objects and the amount of clutter in my abode. I often take a walk through my mystery drawers, of which I have two prominent ones.

Forget protect, provide and procreate: a generation of young men, cultural victims of both cognitive and emotional brain debt, might be more characterized by denial, despair and dependence.

Walking the beach in Florida each morning, one understands why the state is such a popular destination. To be able to have the wild seas so accessible for such long stretches, with gulf or ocean and shorebird antics to entertain, and December temps in the 70s, what is not to like?

Eventually novel concepts and ideas get incorporated into our day to day, so that they become commonplace, and often not fully appreciated for the wonders they are. Today I want to share and explore four on-the-horizon developments that when they come to fruition will no doubt significantly alter our quotidian realities.

From a Buddhist perspective, embracing impermanence is a tool for navigating the changing elements and treacherous shoals of old age, sickness and death. Lately I have been thinking about impermanence in relation to other aspects of being beyond my declining body and diminishing abilities.

Ben Franklin famously remarked, "Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today," counseling against the pitfalls of procrastination, and meant to encourage immediate action. My philosophy of late seems more aligned with, “Why put off today what you can put off until tomorrow?”

Our species seems to have favored cooperation, curiosity and cognitive enhancement as key developments that benefit survival. I explore the importance of neurodivergence: ADHD, Multiple intelligences, Autism, Savants.

Sometimes, even often, things just don't go as expected. In Part Four of this limited series on Choicepoints, we'll explore together the pathway to being responsive – rather than reactive – to life's challenges.

Hopefully one enters the magical realm of parenting by conscious choice, rather than through unintended consequence. Becoming a parent is less about biology than about showing up with the awareness that this is a life changing process. I offer some research and thoughts on parenting styles.

Apparently, Ben Franklin was fond of often asking a very simple philosophical question, What good shall I do this day? Choicepoints arise multiple times a day, especially in terms of how I treat others, and how kind I am to myself.

Awareness creates choice. This simple principle is evident throughout my daily life. Only once I become mindful of something – in the physical, mental, emotional or spiritual realms – can I then shift and transform what is happening. Check out my favorite gun violence prevention ad:

https://www.youtube.com/watchZ8DP3ssCfLY

For many years, as Medical Director of Family Health for NM, I relied upon an annual report issued by the Children’s Defense Fund, which highlights and summarizes the status of America’s children in 11 areas. I offer some thoughts about what needs doing.

My favorite Italian word for home is actually dimora, which is a more poetic description of home, evoking charm, and history – think ancestors and what they went through to make the home possible – and a sense of timelessness, a place that represented or portrays the true center of my life.

A recent study from Japan demonstrated that optimists have similar brain activity patterns, especially in the medial prefrontal cortex, the home of imagining future happenings. An exploration of soundness of mind.

Even if one eschews traditional religions, and explores the perspective of spirituality as a choose your own adventure camp, living and embodying the values one believes in remains a lifelong pursuit. Hopefully I am capable of using the past to make better choices in the future, elevating my precious time on the planet into a sort of embodied learning tool.

Men have been very conditioned to provide, perform and protect. What are the female equivalents? As I’ve reflected upon it, I think nurture, be perfect and connect. Do I believe in an inner feminine?

Real connection asks for authenticity, a component of which is honesty – with self and others – which in turn requires some contemplation and vulnerability, as well as some skills in expressing what is inside to the outside in ways not destructive to self or others.

Test mentioned in the podcast:

https://aphantasia.com/study/vviq/?srsltid=AfmBOoogMEz3jl7WMkwNeHTdjV68b7HWu4MohNLxROf_WpvtbU2YWwjE

Wandering around Home Depot looking for assistance this week reminded me of all those digital self-help marketplace voices whispering “I have what you need!” Sooo many offerings that supposedly will help us get what we most desire, whether that is weight loss, permanent inner peace, the key to navigating family trauma tripwires, or the perfect gizmo to further ease my existence.

Here are my 5 C’s: foundational principles for a vital healthy relationship. Commit, connect, communicate, clear conflict and create. Check out cupofempathy.com, created by Marianne van Dijk, who has many short insightful you tube videos on Non violent communication, mentioned in the podcast.

Healthy relationships have the capacity to assist us in changing, growing, evolving for the better. A young friend puts out a brief but insightful weekly newsletter (Sign up and read articles on WholeManMethod.com ), and in the last one he mused, “The cost of ignoring your authentic life will always outweigh the discomfort of answering your soul’s call."

The WHO recently released a report claiming that more than 871,000 people die from loneliness each year—almost 100 an hour. It defines loneliness as the distress that comes from the lack of desired relationships, while social isolation is defined by the objective absence of social ties.

The underlying reason for long CoVid at this point remains unclear, and may be different in different people. Possibilities include ongoing viral activity associated with an intra-host viral reservoir, autoimmune or dysregulated inflammatory state, microvascular dysfunction, organ damage from the original infection, or other as yet undiscovered mechanisms.

I don’t need a prickling discharge of ions on the back on my neck to remind me that things are OFF in capital letters, to actually feel the urgent, palpable yet inconclusive tinge of peril we now face in the world, an apocryphal yet not dubious menu on display. A filling station of gloom available with the click of a mouse.

There is a tempest abrewing! The Singularity refers to the point at which machines’ intelligence and humans will merge, all optimized through ongoing developments in genomics, nanotechnology and robotics. Emergence is specialized lingo for when an AI system shows unpredictable or unintended capabilities.

I surround myself in general with kind, intelligent, open people, most of whom like me seem at a loss as to how to respond effectively to the policies of the new administration. We can and do “keep lighting up our little corner of the world,” yet there is a nagging sense of tension, anxiety, a call for more significant action than the same old same old.

This time of year marks the 5 year anniversary of the onslaught of the worst pandemic in modern times. The beginning of April 2020 was the peak of lockdowns, with a guesstimate of 4.4 billion people – 57% of the planet – having some movement restriction. I explore some of what we learned during this "Anthropause" and what our habenula might contribute to the inquiry.

While most violence occurs between people who know each other, there is something to be said about mitigating stranger danger. Yes, women are more likely to be assaulted in the home or someplace familiar to them, but abduction by predatory rapists does occur. So it seems worthwhile to review some ideas to stay safe.

When feeling discombobulated, a key principle to stay sane during these turbulent times is to stop arguing with reality, a laudable intention. Think new thoughts, fresh, innovative previously unthought, or at least a good one repackaged into this worthy moment, devoid of any smidge of sophistry.

As a good friend says, these days it feels like one is getting pecked to death with all those little absurdities of daily life. In short, all that does not go easily because of bureaucratic or corporate nonsense can have me running in circles quite easily. You may have heard the term high variance, which is being used as a polite synonym for the chaos of the current administration. That only adds to the sense of WTF bells ringing in the crisp air of winter’s waning.

My dad always used to say I’m not complaining, just explaining, but here I am talking about developing a conscious process for whine o’clock to lighten the load in ways that are not destructive to myself or others.

Unlikely I will ever be a great writer or a Famoso musical pop star, so why bother? Yes, I do get some joy from the creative process itself, but the motivation to keep honing the craft? Well, I must admit that comes and goes. Psychologists even have a term for our familiar yet elusive sense of dissatisfaction: the hedonic treadmill.

Things are moving quickly, requiring more focused world attention on H5 N1. While a human pandemic is not inevitable, there are a number of milestones that have recently been achieved that suggest it is no longer just a remote possibility.

It is estimated that 55 million people worldwide have dementia, and according to the CDC, 1 in 9 Americans over age 65 has it. I discuss some really amazing progress that is being made.

I am always amazed at the layers that peel off when I do a vacation—that is to say, vacate my normal life and shift gears to a different pace and reality. It is quite surprising when I observe and discover that in fact I have been in a certain amount of denial about what I have been carrying on my shoulders.

The AI robotic interplay is currently highly focused on the push to develop spatial intelligence—the ability for machines to correctly interpret and successfully interact with the everyday world. Virtual worlds with virtual robots allow for quicker and inexpensive trial and error training. Incredible implications for all of us!

There are so many essential skills we need to teach our children: self-awareness and sensory processing that supports development of compassion, empathy and emotional fluency; Cultivating inner peace, basics of self-healing and the power of intending; stewardship of the natural world, service to others, and an engagement with creative expression. Link mentioned in the podcast: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/satishnandyala_dr-casey-means-in-senate-yesterday-%3F-%3F%3F%3F%3F%3F%3F%3F-activity-7244700380675088384-0Xve/

Welcome to the Cosmic blast diner, where economic collapse, ecological meltdown, or your choice of a variety of complex upheavels or apocalyptic catastrophes are on the menu, with uncertainty and disturbance as appetizers.

Link mentioned in the podcast:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r2q31xb7hA

I have some salient suggestions for the coming year, as a new beginning awaits us in just a few days as we enter 2025 full of HOPES: homage, oasis, perseverance, exultation and schmick.

Link mentioned in the podcast to UNM Med School commencement: https://myheartsongs.org/press-and-media/

The spiritual journey takes one down a rabbit hole of mysterious occurrences and unknown destinations, a quest initiated by the big what’s it all about Alfie questions, married to an unwillingness to blindly accept the cookie cutter explanations of the powers that be. Primatologist short video mentioned in the podcast:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meiU6TxysCg

Consensual reality: those agreements humans collectively make in order to be flexible and create webs of cooperation. In fact, that trait is likely what has enabled us to dominate the planet. Money and laws, for example, those myths and stories that are woven into the fabric of daily life.

As we dance our way through holiday doings, here are some suggestions to perhaps make that journey more pleasant. Connecting with supportive family and friends is more meaningful to my mental health than the endless commercial consumer onslaught of the season.

For millennia, what killed humans were variations on the unholy triad of famine, pestilence and war. That has now changed. The effects of our disregard for our planetary home contribute to a host of chronic ailments.

The reality is that we often can’t keep up with baby, infant, toddler and early childhood energy, and so we are failing them on some level from the beginning, even with a support village behind us. Their endless curiosity and boundless explorations once mobile can be exhausting.

As I continue the slow recovery from my mystery virus, I am deeply reminded that the health care system, despite its many flaws, continues to produce miracles

So if, in these unfolding moments, words can’t express the turmoil and transcendence within, then perhaps creating something beautiful can. I simply must reconfigure and expand my imagination of the possible.

I also have finally admitted that I have been experiencing some election anxiety. Anxious is not a normal state for me, especially mid-night or when waking up. My default is more a dark Sicilian down mood. Yet I have been stoking the fires so to speak by regularly checking in about polls and headlines in the latest verbal battles between candidates.

Some adventuring in the Cruces Basin on a horseback muzzle loader elk hunt. Will it be my last?

It seems that one of the songs we must learn to dance to as we age is some degree of memory loss. Paying attention to good sleep, exercise habits, stress levels, diet, and other essentials of nurturing the mind-body connection can mitigate the memory marbles dissipation. I explore some other tips to keep the memory muscle toned.

I have few regrets in my life, but one of them is clearly having spent so much time indoors, somewhat divorced from the planet and all the gifts that its wild generate within me, just by being a witness to their incredible magnificence.

I have been blessed with many wild encounters and wish to share a few of them today. I am left wondering about the tales you might tell, dear listener, of your encounters with the wild, and how they inspired, nourished and spoke to your deepest yearnings. What a magical planet we inhabit!

I Am The Sum Of My Experiences. I am wondering if this is really true or just a very lovely compelling phrase. I guess I don’t believe it is a simple sum game. Certain experiences seem to have much more impact on us as humans, especially those during critical periods of development.

Last week I offered 5 external aspects of crafting a good life, including where one lives, discover one’s passions, find a compatible mate, engage with one’s tribe, and finally, travel to broaden and deepen oneself in many diverse ways. Today I want to share the complementary five inner domains to develop and embody for a good life. They are gratitude, forgiveness, mourning, joy and healthy boundaries.

What constitutes a good life? What choice points, and perhaps the use of intuition in decision making as described last week, might get one there?

In our age of bewilderment, is human intuition merely an advanced form of pattern recognition? A biochemical collection of perceptive algorithms? What might stimulate and enhance its development?

VUCA characterizes and reflects upon the volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity of general conditions, and how enterprises might flourish despite those challenges. The military also found the term useful, and incorporated it into their training as well. Here I attempt to make it relevant to personal challenges.

My body is a good messenger, inviting me to grow in ways that are not always pleasant but on some spiritual cosmic level, most necessary. Freedom appears when I can embrace that truth, no matter what unpleasant feedback my body might be offering.

Down mood most of the time. Energy decrease, fatigue, and a slowed-down feeling. Pleasurable activities are no longer enjoyed. Remembering, concentrating, and decision making are more difficult. Eating problems. Sleep problems. Sense of hopelessness, helplessness, worthlessness, guilt. Ever recurrent aches/pains don’t respond to treatment. Death thoughts, or a suicide plan.

Symptoms of depression in young men may manifest as aggressive acting-out, irritability, low impulse control with inability to tolerate stress, and a greater willingness to take risk.

Drugs –most often seen in this culture as hedonism, escape, or dulling the senses thru self-medication – are viewed in many cultures as “doorways of perception” to borrow from the excellent work of Aldous Huxley. There has been a significant resurgence in the use of psychedelics to treat a variety of mental health issues, including depression, anxiety and PTSD, often with excellent research results.

So this is my formula for listening to the body: continue to move naturally, pay attention and be curious about early warning feedback, occasionally do a habit inventory, remember the body feels better when grateful and mindful, and find your tribe and connect regularly.

It is a challenge to face a lifetime mountain of clutter. I haven’t moved in 24 years, and doing a deep dive and really sifting through stuff to keep what is useful, retain important memories, and yet let go of some material things seems daunting and a bit overwhelming.

Paying attention to “favorite things” in some ways is a prayer, full of gratitude and appreciation rather than asking for more or something different. The lists are different every time I engage with this little exploration. I wonder what your list might include?

Time for some good news: Gene treatment for sickle cell disease, a new antibody for the fight against malaria and new hope for reducing pain in fibromyalgia.

The 5 a day campaign to get folks to eat more fruits and vegetables has been around for some time. Here is my own 5 a day prescription for optimal moodality.

Here comes H5N1! The current bird flu epidemic, which most believe began in 2020, has successfully globetrotted very quickly. Millions of poultry – 90 million and counting in the US alone – have been culled in a futile attempt to limit spread of the virus. While Avian flu viruses tend to be wild bird specific, the current strain is more egalitarian and has quickly infiltrated a wide array of flocks, as well as squirrels, skunks, dolphins, polar bears and now dairy cows.

The breakthrough that is now about to explode is that roboticists have started using deep learning and neural networks to create “software” for mobile machines that enable them to learn from their environs, as they navigate and adjust their behaviors on the fly.

The guesstimate is that currently about 55 million people worldwide have dementia, by 2050 that number is expected to be 2 ½ times higher. This represents an enormous emotional and financial toll for society, and those directly caring for such individuals.

Although the American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends adults sleep at least 7 hours a night, more than one-quarter of adults simply do not meet this recommendation. Getting refreshing sleep is good medicine, an essential aspect of wellness, that we ignore at our own peril.

A biotech company is progressing with testing of a canine life extension drug—the company’s name is LOYAL. From dog hotels to fancy pet urns, to cremation jewelry and glass art, perhaps we are going too far for our beloved companions. Have they become a substitute for human interactions for some lonely people?

It is undoubtedly true that any animal with whom we form an intimate relationship has much to teach us. There is a mystical sacred connection that evolves over time, somehow different than a surprise spotting of a special bird, or a brief encounter in the wild with a bear or herd of elk.

A recent survey of teens revealed that 72% of them felt they were happier and more peaceful to be phone-less, with 1/3 acknowledging they spend too much time on social media and their smartphones. A smaller percentage felt anxious, lonely and upset without their devices.

I acknowledge I remain a Prisoner of Time, with some moments when I manage to escape, only to fall again into her clutches, like a wild animal caught by falling suddenly into a carefully disguised pit trap.

Some amazing wonders of our current capabilities as humans to create initiatives for the common good: a pop-up hospital, brain computer interface implants, AI skin cancer detection, the largest solar energy project in the US, and deep sea explorations.

Resistance to doing what I say I want to do often manifests as negative mindtalk, self-defeating behaviors, avoidance and procrastination. I want to consistently choose “yes” to what nurtures, and drop the “shoulds.” I have learned that success begets success, and to be satisfied with starting small and sticking with it.

Perhaps as a species all the division we are experiencing is because of an actual epigenetic shift to not trust any of our institutions and instead blindly follow the advice of hive mind social media influencers. If genetic changes are akin to changing the lyrics of a song, epigenetic changes are like fiddling with the volume.

What to call it, that protective energy that somehow showed up for me in my life multiple times, at least twice a decade, shielding me from serious harm, guiding me to safety?

When I am feeling dispirited from the gnawing grievances of my own small self, I surrender to such revered unrest, knowing it is what stimulates me to keep digging and discovering hidden gifts to bring forth into the world.

Damage and decay of biological systems is the hallmark of aging, as our cell’s powerhouse mitochondria break down, various and diverse proteins unravel or clump together, and precious reserves of regenerative stem cells dwindle. I was quite struck by a statistic I heard years ago, that every day in this country 100 people turn 100!

The gentle sounds of swaying trees and crashing waves is what I awaken to most mornings, just before the soft sunlight fills the view behind us with beauty, only needing to open my eyes and slightly tilt my head to welcome it.

So what are we exactly? Is the body a collection of specialized cells, a fluid continuum composed mostly of water with permeable membranes on the biomolecular scaffolds of the system, an electromagnetic field, a quantum field? All of these at once?

The world needs us to each do our part. As we approach this new beginning, here’s to more love and kindness, including self-loving and caring, being doing whatever uplifts us. Be a fountain not a drain!

All the seasonal traditions – Diwali, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Solstice and Christmas – aim to be uplifting with the return of light and goodness. So why do we sometimes fall short?

When – not if – the machines became more intelligent than humans, might they turn on their creators? Could we unintentionally create a self-aware AI that has its own motivations and goals? These queries, while they may seem the realm of dystopian science fiction, are now full front and center in the debates about the dangers of giving AI systems autonomy, demanding answers about how to ensure that AI systems remain aligned with human values and objectives.

In common usage, “hate speech” refers to offensive discourse that targets either a group or an individual based on inherent characteristics (such as race, religion or gender). How might we differentiate that from free speech, especially in terms of current events and the Israel Gaza war.?

I share a recent talk I gave at the Celebration, a long-standing Santa Fe spiritual community. I present some ideas about 3 principles of conscious aging.

“My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.” Thus said Michel de Montaigne, the French Renaissance philosopher. How much energy do I give to my worries, anxieties and fears?

Anyone familiar with some of the great war movies – the Deer Hunter, Apocalypse Now, Band of Brothers, & Saving Private Ryan come to mind – will acknowledge their portrayal of courage, comradeship and the meaningless abominations of armed conflict, and without glorifying any of it, also show the destructive ripple effects on families and communities.

Constantly connected to a digital neighborhood, endlessly distracted, lost in the trance of busyness and the cult of productivity, I can easily drift from living on purpose. I firmly believe that everyone needs a center and an edge.

The shimmering luminous web of connection to my more primitive self is satisfying in ways that remain important to my wellbeing on every level—physical mental emotional and spiritual. It is hard to articulate, but walking in the moonlight, hunting, gathering or time around a fire trigger, what exactly?

Thought of this as a topic while driving down I25 in a steel container at 75 mph – a journey that a mere 120 years ago would have taken three days – the scenery zipping by as if by magic. And doing that while chatting with a friend 3000 thousand miles away—hands free of course, my phone connected via Bluetooth to my hearing aids.

So, how to assess our own level of risk? We know that the risk of severe illness increases with the number of underlying medical conditions present, including obesity, diabetes, heart or lung disease, being immune compromised and others. Just being over age 65 is in itself considered a risk factor. A key question is does vaccination OR treatment with an antiviral prevent long CoVid?

I continue the exploration of wisdom, this time focused on body based wisdom. I've learned much by consistently listening to its messages. Here is the link to podcast 41 on energy flow awareness as mentioned in the podcast:

https://heartsongs.podbean.com/e/41-the-wonder-of-wellness/

Three more bits of wisdom to share, based on my life experience, which help me to gradually drop whatever is holding me prisoner to my past, and step into the territory of being a pioneer of my own future. For more info on the notion of deep desires, check out podcast 39:

https://heartsongs.podbean.com/e/39-greed-or-need-part-three/

The question arises: is there any individual wisdom to be found that might assist me through these modern day societal maladies? As I reflect upon various pearls of deep truth that have been passed down to me, I realize that most of them were not orally transmitted from a sage elder, but rather gleaned from books that validated and spoke to my own experience.

I certainly can’t claim that the good old days were free of environmental toxins. What is remarkable is that some things have gotten worse, despite ongoing efforts to clean up our earth nest.

The burning question is why could we not find a way to strengthen the humane aspects of medicine while embracing the techno magical advances? In any case some things remain true: you are always your own best advocate when dealing with any aspect of the medical complex, & less is more when it comes to drugs.

The good old days had their many imperfections, yet, for me, the strong bonds of neighborhood and family, the relative lack of corporate greed, and the more tempered influence of media on our lives made for a better childhood. I wonder what elements stand out for you, dear listener, about your own good old days.

I believe that our core issue is the central locus of our inner work, the essence of our quest to evolve. It is what fuels our addictions, creates unskillful habits, and stimulates our being triggered by the remarks and actions of others. One might consider it an essential wounding, if you will, that takes a lifetime to heal. Link to Thoughtstream Shift podcast mentioned in the episode:

https://heartsongs.podbean.com/e/thoughtstream-shift/

I review current endemic numbers, fall vaccine recommendations and emerging helpful info on PSAC, or post-acute sequelae of SARS-CoV-2 infection, also known as long CoVid. Trump vaccine PSA here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INH-CmCgIYs

Only with time and careful attention have I embraced creativity, compassion, courage and community as my preferred ways of embracing this life journey. The key question all along has been: In what awareness do I want to abide, what qualities to cultivate?

Are these all just disguises of resistance: procrastination, lack of whole heartedness, denial, “laziness”, overwhelm or even giving up on the possibility of positive change? As Marcus Aurelius commented, “the obstacle IS the way.” Link for podcast 41:

https://heartsongs.podbean.com/e/41-the-wonder-of-wellness/

PTSD is a spectrum of normal reactions to highly abnormal circumstances. Basically, a continuation and an exaggeration of the normal protective fight or flight response. In the body's attempt to protect itself, symptoms appear which can be destructive. How to bandage the brutality with beauty?

We explore the latest in dogs sniffing CoVid 19, remarkable new malaria vaccines and preparing for the next pandemic.

Cancer miracles to vending machines to combat overdoses, to novel forms of mosquito control to influence rates of disease. Mental health techniques to combat insomnia, and steps to create a healthy GI flora to decrease depression and anxiety. Modern medicine – despite its faults – keeps on coming up with puissant marvels to improve the health and wellbeing of many.

The gap between our collective aspirations to alter the present course of planetary destruction and the reality of the on the ground efforts required to make it so is enormous. Will magical yet-undeveloped new technologies save us? Perhaps, but right now it seems our best bet is persistent concerted individual and collective positive action.

In the 2016 book, Half Earth, Edward O. Watson makes a compelling case for us humans – for the sake of our own survival if nothing else – to agree to protect what remains of the intact systems that hold the planet in a steady state, on both land and sea, with critical goals for 2030. Half of the planet protected by 2050, reserved for natural systems and the biodiversity and processes that basically support the rest of the world.

I like to connect the dots to two other solutions, both of which in hidden ways contribute to preserving habitat. Waste less food: I hate that horrible statistic that 1/3 of US food production goes uneaten. Use products for longer and re-use materials—remember this is the flea market king speaking to you. Buying less stuff and wasting less food puts less pressure on claiming/destroying even more natural habitats. A key question is this: Is it possible to reduce emissions and preserve biodiversity, yet maintain our lovable creature comforts?

Uncertainty certainly fosters fears and revitalizes regrets. Being comfortable with it allows me to greet my circumstances with curiosity rather than constriction, openness rather than anxiety. Dealing with all the painful uncertainty is clearly a bit of a spiritual strip search: rooting out any ego vanity projects, arrogance around needing to be right, and fear based futile attempts to remain “in control.”

The Caring Bridge Link is:

www.caringbridge.org/visit/victorlacerva

There is good data to suggest that teens spend half of their waking hours on their smartphones. Feelings of loneliness and sadness are rampant, and teens across the board are getting less sleep and spending less in-person time socializing. Cyberbullying is a common destructive phenomenon.

A sampling of my personal beatitudes: 1. Blessed are those who are easily satisfied and have few expectations, for they shall rarely want or be disappointed. 2. Blessed are those who take anything anyone says as a compliment, for they shall always have friends. 3. Blessed are those who are flexible, for they shall not get bent out of shape. . 4. Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. 5. Blessed are those who are slightly cracked, for only they can truly let in the light.

It intuitively feels right to explore these elements in terms of surrendering, centering, blending and transforming the war within: thoughtstream shift, allow my inner sage some time on the podium, acknowledge & turn the volume down on my current competing desires, and get outside to let it all percolate.

No discussion of the art of peace would be complete without at least a brief mention of four of my personal heroes: Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela and Aung San Suu Kyi. In the tohubohu that is often the state of our present world, I may not make a huge difference on a planetary, national, state or even community level. Yet I do believe that any peaceful actions I create have their own vibrations throughout those larger spheres. Let peace begin with me.

We all, at various times, experience off the rails miscommunication, feeling attacked, challenging moments. Imagine a partner, family member or co-worker confronting or complaining about you, or what you perceive initially as assaulting or ambushing you verbally. What to do?

Developed in the 1920’s by Morihei Ueshiba, affectionately known as O’Sensei, Aikido combined many threads of existing Japanese martial practices and created a novel and powerful tapestry of training. “To injure an opponent is to injure yourself. To control aggression without inflicting injury is the Art of Peace.”

I conclude the three part series on finding and expressing joy with some additional explorations, including Neuro linguistic Programming, a practice called earthing, regularly singing to myself, and responding to the common query of “how are you?”

Check out the NYT Happiness Challenge:https://www.nytimes.com/explain/2023/01/01/well/happiness-challengeAnd the 8 1/2 minute 6 move Joy Workout:

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/24/well/move/joy-workout-exercises-happiness.html?campaign_id=9&emc=edit_nn_20221227&instance_id=81211&nl=the-morning&regi_id=79688672&segment_id=120919&te=1&user_id=611cdc010836519fc8775e1f2c13993e Connect, wonder about, move and feel the joy!

What brings you joy? How I love reading, especially science and science fiction and where the two begin to merge in my own lifetime. In the five days after the release of Chat GPT by Open AI, more than a million people signed up to test it. You can do so for free by going to https://chat.openai.com/auth/login.

What is clear to me is that given the onslaught of information we are all exposed to, and the overwhelming amount of it negatively affecting our psyche, our own mental health requires that we pay attention to some basic best practices.

I present a holiday tale that came to me in a dream. Ashe! Hanta Yo! Ameen! Make it so! Achya! Ben Fatto!

Although I normally avoid political issues in these audio musings, I openly share some thoughts about fiscal responsibility, guns and the death penalty, all in contrast to my normal liberal leanings.

Even in darkness and sadness, it is possible to allow, even just this much, the blessings that are always falling down to penetrate my isolating turning inward walls. The sun on my face, the taste of blueberries, the soft curves of a dog or cat warming itself by the woodstove, the enchantment of falling snow, the wizardry of shooting stars.

If life is indeed about learning lessons and a lesson tends to be repeated until learned, what is the universe inviting me to “get” right now? Might be fun to journal about what life lessons I have really absorbed. What would be the top three for your list?

I share some tales from our recent trip to Tuscany, a taste of the magnificence of Florence and Pisa.

Thank you for letting me share some vignettes from my ancestral homeland—my good fortune to still be able to revel in travel adventures. I hope you might have some of your own soon. There is a unique freedom in dropping the list of daily have to’s, spending minimal screen time, and walking walking walking about in new cultural environs.

Seems like we are programmed for MOTION first and then rest after the movement has provided its calming effect. Friluftsliv is a Norwegian word that translates roughly as “open air life.” A way of life, an entire philosophy that celebrates the commitment to being outdoors, no matter one’s age or physical condition. Connection, calm & clarity comprise the three legs on the stool of positive benefits. Or how about relax, refresh & re-energize.

Of all the CoVid data out there, perhaps the most concerning relates to long Covid. Although we still lack a precise case definition or blood marker, more than 24 million US adults currently suffer from shortness of breath, muscle pains, mood changes, persistent loss of taste/smell, cognitive difficulties and symptoms that are exacerbated even with minimal physical or mental effort. More than 80% are having trouble carrying out daily activities, and the vast majority of those so affected were either not vaccinated, or had a severe case of the disease.

Some musings about the deer hunt on my land in Chacon. Always an amazing experience!

Mindfulness emphasizes observing what is unfolding, which is clearly useful. Bodily sensations, emotional currents, mental cascades, spiritual flights are ever-present. How to harmonize the immersive flow of those dimensions is the realm of Integrative presence, which involves a supersensitivity to the present moment.

Mindfulness emphasizes observing what is unfolding, which is clearly useful. Bodily sensations, emotional currents, mental cascades, spiritual flights are ever-present. How to harmonize the immersive flow of those dimensions is the realm of Integrative presence, which involves a supersensitivity to the present moment.

Doubt keeps our beginner’s mind shoes sparkling as we journey forward down the trail. To be content to live in mystery is a good thing, a skillful practice, if not easy or simple. Living with uncertainty is a close cousin, and offers its own unique form of freedom—complete with dead ends and disappointments and moments of awe and wonder.

Gratitude transforms whatever I may have into more than enough. Long-term consistent behavior alters the baseline function of the brain. Appreciation is powerful because it is a conscious choice that, over time, alters my perception and raises my default levels of happiness and freedom. There is always, always something for which to be grateful.

Every major religion emphasizes kindness as an important attribute in its principles of living. I offer three caveats concerning kindness, and my seven point prescription for everyday kindness, applicable toward self and others.

A recent Psychology Today article purported that wise folks have 5 characteristics: they self-regulate their emotions, they act, decide, and counsel mindful of the wellbeing of all involved, and they recognize patterns where the past may offer useful info. Finally, they adapt to their environment, shape it, or change it completely, and they make the best of disappointing situations.

Our innate novel seeking curiosity behavior energizes the motivational drive for investigating unknowns and making new discoveries. How do we feel when we are curious? Annoyed, an itch we can’t scratch, bugged, stressed, excited, fun to figure out an answer? Energized to find out more? Take the curiosity quiz : https://curiosity.britannica.com/curiosity-personality-quiz.html

Patience seems hard to come by in our multitasking hurry hurry world, hiding in the bamboozle of “out of my way, I’m up to important things”. Subtle at first as it plays peek a boo with my awareness, encouraging me with hints of a different way of being. If rushing is a form of violence against self and others then is patience an antidote?

I was recently on a friend's podcast: Create to Heal Podcast is about life, leadership, and conversations from the heart. Each episode, we explore what creativity and healing mean to our invited guest. Enjoy!

We have many end of life options these days, but we can make conscious choices only if we are willing to get more comfortable with our own mortality. So how do we do that?

The wind supports me in rattling my own cage, pulls me out of circling the wagons of illusion with rationalization & self- protection, often with the ends justify the means as a mantra. I'm summoned to examine those nooks and crannies where I might have made rationality a god, at the expense of my vitality. Its wild and crazy nature refuses to condemn my passionate primitive energies to an underground existence—the life I live and the one I have forgotten. It urges me to welcome fathomless darkness and sidereal silence.

Seems like perhaps we need a category of PRTSD, Pre- traumatic stress disorder, given the abundant opportunities for anxiety around anticipated trauma from shootings or emerging climate change disasters. Although it sounds a bit big brother-ish, why not allow schools to monitor facebook & other social media posts, especially by young males? We check their drawers and lockers for guns and drugs, isn’t that part of the monitoring function of adults with young people?

How wide the divide between the NRA and the average gun owner. I suggest seven areas which not all gun owners will agree with, but many of them do.

Here is a short important link I encourage you to watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8DP3ssCfLY Time for some effective initiatives!

All those save the planet signs and especially the energy of young people engaged in this issue are inspiring but the reality is that the planet would be fine without us: it is the humans that need the saving energy. I’ve often said that the human species is in its adolescence: full of both creative and destructive potential. This next decade will clearly bring a series of defining moments as to which path we choose: survival vs suicide. And the quality of life in terms of future survival is very much dependent on our current-day choices. How wide the divide between climate science and our collective ability to take action!

How wide the divide between how I see myself and others perceive me; how wide the divide in terms of what a society purports to be and the reality; how wide the divide between science and truth/reality, between health care for the rich vs the poor?

Beyond abstaining from false, divisive, and harsh speech, as well as idle chatter, Right speech seeks to see between the words to the deeper silence of what is really going on. It involves what Rumi terms “Close both eyes to see with the other eye.” It’s a wholesome intention to use words not as weapons but as skillful messengers. Words to build connection rather than alienation, yet grounded in my truth.

Robert Graves, known for his 1929 memoir, Goodbye to All That, detailing his horrific WW I experiences, defined love as “a recognition of another person’s integrity and truth in a way that makes both of you light up when you recognize the quality in the other.” Mystery, wonder, the amazing the unexpected and the incredible, all belong to this world, and love offers up ample helpings of each of these qualities. I believe love is strengthened by three essential practices: affectionate acceptance, benevolent boundaries & conscious communication.

Tolstoy counseled that love is a present activity only, a close cousin to my own perception that love is an action verb, beyond embracing the “no matter whatness” of love. He also muses: “To what extent can I occupy myself with my own affairs and yet be able to serve those I love?” thus striking at the heart of boundaries and balancing self-love with caring for others.

What price have we paid for the development of consciousness, of having been lifted out of the animal world? This new human element in the story of creation is clearly a mixed bag: our unskillful human behaviors continue. One cannot escape the current feedback of headline horrors: wars, social injustice, climate change forest fires in the West. All consequences of our lack of awareness, despite being conscious of many aspects of how to live a good life.

Thankfully, the father-knows-best paternal let me decide for you attitude of the worst of physicians – with their inability to listen or be questioned– remains in decline. It is essential to step up into being your own best advocate. Get educated about whatever mortality reminder is currently in your face, and seek assistance from those you trust.

Prep for the next inevitable wave: now is a good time to get free home tests. https://www.hhs.gov/coronavirus/testing for info on ordering by mail or picking up at a local pharmacy. Get a supply of good N95 masks, which currently are readily available. Also essential is the pulse oximeter, if you don’t already have one, for monitoring oxygen levels if you become infected. Although Paxlovid, the Pfizer anti-viral, is in somewhat limited supply, that should ease up soon, and it is worth having on hand in my opinion.

Climateandmind.org offers a clearinghouse of sorts with helpful information and myriad resources that address the relationship between climate disruption, human behavior and human experience, including how to talk with young people about climate change in a way that is honest, realistic and age-appropriate. Need some wisdom & encouragement from young people? Just call 707-998-8410 or 707-873-7862 for some joyful life advice from a group of eager elementary school children.

Tectonic sized climate shifts are not lurking on some 30-year distant horizon: they are present here and now, if we are really paying attention. Yet the pace of governmental and bureaucratic change continues to lag, mired down by complex issues, tangled approaches, perfunctory policies and the usual suspects when groups of humans larger than a tribe sized 75 try to get anything done. Structural and systemic change is critical, but so is individual action.

The reality is that We are destroying the planet, not CO2, with the more more of consumer addictions playing an important role in that. What has now been termed Climate Grief and eco anxiety, many are suffering from worry, guilt and sadness about our human capacity for denial and meaningful change.

Resiliency has been defined as the ability to bounce back from adversity, the capacity to cope positively when an individual or family is affected by negative influences and events. I see it as a grounding in oneself and returning to the lovely patch of goodness in one’s own heart. I do believe that the essence of resilience – in both youth and old age – lies in connection.

It seems to me as I age that spiritual practice can be an antidote to suffering, for those times when I am feeling lost. When striving, struggle, searching, and the seductive scramble for more and more overpower – at least temporarily – the gentler inner forces of satisfaction, serenity and spaciousness.

I’m aware that I sometimes still anxiously seek external rules and regulations to guide me through complexities, because I do not always see my own potential for intuitive intentionality. Clearly our species capacity for ratiocination and inspiration have only brought us so far.

Feeling lost? Reach out and connect! First to self, as Jung reminds us: “The self is the principle and archetype of orientation and meaning. Therein lies its healing function.” Then to Nature to find a place & space of spiritual concentration. Then to others who support us on the path.

As Nietzsche proclaims: “He whose life has a why can bear almost any how.”There is the reality that what can’t be cured must be endured, and we have collectively done that across the globe. The nagging question for me remains: how has the pandemic changed me, and is it for the better?

Worldwide CoVid Deaths stand at 5.73 million as of today. Of course, the actual number is higher due to limited testing and reporting challenges in terms of attribution of the cause of death. Mumford and Sons sing beautifully: But you are not alone in this. And you are not alone in this. As brothers we will stand and we’ll hold your hand, hold your hand. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSPy59xNtTU

Has the pandemic taught me to live a more balanced life, to alter my priorities?

As we hopefully morph from pandemic to endemic over the spring, from looming cosmic dread to tulips once again poking up their little heads in the garden, with all the hope of renewal and new beginnings, the morbidity & mortality risk equation will shift, but certainly far from zero.

Rather than leave dream inquiry to the individual, the Senoi people have made it an established social discourse, specifically for this purpose. Each morning, community members gather to talk about their dreams of the previous night. The community’s dream guide, called a halak, encourages people to share the messages, warnings, and gifts discovered in their night wanderings.

Today I’d like to explore the borderlands of falling asleep and waking up. Hypnagogic hallucinations occur while falling asleep, while hypnopompic events unfold while awakening. Both states offer fertile ground for discovery.

All of the celebratory events of this time offer well wishes to be merry or happy. Happy Channukah, Merry Christmas! If we seek the true path of happiness, Carl Jung and other wise ones tell us, it lies within, in working on ourselves to achieve wholeness, and the personal sense of connection to the Self (capital S) that individuation implies.

What is the point to spending hours each night in a swirl of strange fantastic stories and virtual simulations that we barely remember the next day? Often after a bad night’s sleep I feel more dream deprived than sleep deprived. If dreams can be a tool for healing and mind body spirit integration, what might I do to promote and nurture that process?

The focus of this final aspect of be your greatest revolves around identifying and working with whatever core issue runs us. Have you identified what yours might be? What essential questions flows from that awareness? Are you making some progress in weaving those parts of you into your lifepath? Everyone harbors a Shadow, a repository of repressed emotions they would prefer to conceal. It takes both courage and support to look at parts of oneself that were rejected by your parents, society, and even you.

I am a big fan of the Jungian concept of four basic human functions: thinking feeling sensing and intuition. These windows on the world parallel many ancient indigenous ideas of the various aspects of being human, as well as current templates for integrative wellness: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Thus, being your greatest is about actively seeking to evolve and grow by embodying lifelong learning within each of these realms.

This past bit of time has seen the celebration of the Diá de los Muertos —that annual holiday with Mexican origins that honors the dead. And I did my own ofrenda, with lit candle and photo for the recent anniversaries of the deaths of my grandfather and grandmother. Part of being a positive light bringing ancestor myself is clearly and regularly honoring those upon whose shoulders I stand who assisted me in simple and complex ways to move forward in my own life journey.

Hunting for elk in the Cruces Basin of northern NM. I was a vegetarian for years, and understand that this topic may be hard to relate to for some. I used to say I was a “non limbic system” fish and fowl okay flexitarian: however recent studies indicate that fish can feel pain and birds do indeed have brain structures resembling a limbic system, hence emotions. For me, it is important to be intimately familiar with the main meat source in my life. I don’t generally eat beef or pork, because of the conditions in which they are commonly raised. I try to eat fowl domesticated under more caring circumstances, but it is still taking a life to support my own. I do engage in the hunting process with awareness, kindness and respect.

As an alternative to hedonistic happiness, Aristotle basically defined the well-being of eudaimonia as being the result of active engagement in human activities that are goal-directed and purposeful. Having such a positive subjective sense of wellbeing involves the self-actualization of individual unique talents over a lifetime. “Be your greatest” always involves invoking the larger eagle eye view, beyond the prison of my own limiting beliefs.

What do strength, flexibility, endurance and balance look like in the spiritual realm? What exercises and practices could be useful to promote spiritual fitness? From deepening my compassion to connecting to the planet, daily spiritual awareness is easy to implement. Also check out these wise words: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZJvBfoHDk0

What might strength, flexibility, endurance and balance look like in the mental realm? What exercises and practices could be useful to promote mental fitness? From brainstorming to thoughtstream shift, there are many possibilities.

I always defined stress as the internal state that results when the capacity to adapt to what is happening has been exceeded. This often occurs without our awareness, as evidenced by the sensation of peeling off onion layers of tension and pressure when we do actually take a vacate tion. When I tune in – having dropped out of electronic device land – I realize my personal emotional default is usually sadness. That’s where I go when “things” – personal, loved ones, global and yes even cosmic – are not unfolding to my liking.

Let’s play Just Ask Anxiety. If everything is okay then why are so many so anxious? One might propose that a triad of unskillful human habits consistently generate anxiety for a multitude of folks: Habits of scarcity, struggle, and doing doing. I do believe anxiety is basically fear without a name. If it is a signal, then what is the message we need to heed? What fear lurks behind it?

I am defining deep desire as those inner aspects of who I really am that have always wanted expression in the outer world. Maybe it reveals itself in consistently wanting to play an instrument, live by the sea, or travel to specific faraway exotic places. Deep desires elicit needed changes and growth, and are often a pain in the derriere, creating much suffering as well. They play a central role in shaping who I am and the narrative of my life, as my identity morphs throughout my personal evolution.

Another summer solstice is almost upon us. So for me, as is my custom, some turning inward. As I have shared a number of times in these brief weekly musings, I have journaled at least monthly for almost 50 years, regularly taking the pulse of my own personal evolution. This usually involves creating some quiet alone time for reflection, contemplation and meditation, offering up what I like to term ordinary transcendent experiences. No bright lights or stigmata on my hands, but clearly heart and mind aligned on a discovery adventure.

The unrecognized onion layers of stress effortlessly peel off, revealing a core simply hungry to just be—no phones, computers, internet or planetary bad news. This brief excursion takes me out of myself, so I might embrace an eagle eye’s view, and get out of Dodge, surrender to the timeless wisdom of “sleeping on it.” I invite you to contemplate how you renew yourself, and when and how is the next adventure into that realm going to unfold for you?

I prefer the term centering, but others use grounding, self-regulation, resourcing or calming. I believe they are essentially the same sense of coming home to the body in a way that communicates we are safe, and allows for a pause that prevents us from reacting blindly when triggered, or from withdrawing. Breathing in, I am present to whatever is, Breathing out, I calm myself, and shift to a more empowered state.

138 Authenticity Rocks! How do we define this for ourselves? What does it mean to be authentic in today’s world? For me there are four essentials: I walk my talk and live congruent with deeply held values. I tell the truth to myself and others. What truth do I hide from myself that, if revealed, I’d be freer? I have developed some degree of emotional fluency, expressing my feelings to myself and others in ways that are not destructive. Finally, I maintain healthy boundaries with my yes, my no and my maybe.

In my humble opinion, the quality of attention is one of our brain’s greatest assets. Creative imagination, empathic reading of other’s emotional states and problem solving are three of my other favorites— and each of these requires the skillful use of attention. Knowing if it is distracted, divided, dispersed or disrupted can be helpful. I offer a simple practice WAKE, that exercises the focus of our attention and creates connectedness.

136 Thanatopia Part Eight: I Appreciate Various Traditions. The final skill described in Thanatopia: Conscious Aging & A Good Death. I present musings on Dealing with the body, Appreciating ancestors, Afterlife and Ritual Celebrations. Happy Mother’s Day. My mom died 49 years ago while I was in medical school. I still remember how “off” she looked in the coffin, not at all like her. I can also feel the upset in my body recalling the Catholic priest who came in to say prayers, and consistently mis-pronounced her name as he droned on and on. I wish I had the awareness expressed in this podcast back then.

135 Thanatopia Part Seven: I Understand The Dying Process. I present the sixth skill described in Thanatopia: Conscious Aging & A Good Death. Besides delineating the benefits of hospice, topics covered in the evolving manuscript include: making death less scary, visualizing a good death, harsh realities, the right to die, and the arrivederci of being with others through the process.

134 Thanatopia Part Six: I Prepare For A Good Death. I present the fifth of the six skills described in Thanatopia: Conscious Aging & A Good Death. The broader perspective that aging offers can be uplifting. As part of preparing for a good death, besides the notion of keeping my own death front and center for some daily contemplation, we’ll explore together our relationship to physical pain, how to practice shadow dancing, fashion a legacy, and embrace the healing that has a hundred forms.

133 Thanatopia Part Five: I Assist Others On The Path I present the fourth of the six skills described in Thanatopia: Conscious Aging & A Good Death. How to really be there – and still keep a healthy boundary – when caring for aging or dying parents, partners, relatives and friends.

132 Thanatopia Part Four: I Adjust & Adapt. I present the third of the six skills described in Thanatopia: Conscious Aging & A Good Death. How might I embrace the changes, be in no resistance to the inevitable decline? There are eight key elements that invite me to adjust and adapt as part of conscious aging: sleep, exercise, stress, humor, play, connect, shed & simplify, driving diapers & other dilemmas.

I Mourn: the second of the six skills examined in my forthcoming book, Thanatopia: Conscious Aging & A Good Death. The flow of grief, special circumstances including sudden death, suicide, loss of a child, death of a pet, and the role of self-forgiveness as part of the grieving process.

Thanatopia Part Two: I Surrender. In this episode I share from my work in progress, Thanatopia: Conscious Aging & A Good Death, and invite any feedback you’d like to share. The ability to surrender is one of six aspects explored in the book. It involves the skills of letting go, feeling everything and embracing acceptance.

My sense is that people are interested in aging and dying with clearer intent, and I might have something to contribute to that conversation. I offer an excerpt from my work in progress, Thanatopia: Conscious Aging & A Good Death, and invite any feedback you’d like to share.

TOHUBOHU is an ancient Hebrew word referring to a state of chaos, utter confusion. It is a somewhat familiar space, one I rarely feel on a personal level, but more often experience empathically with the crazy destructive patterns of the world at large. if we are to move through the apparent chaos that confronts us, we need a “disruptor” of sorts, something easily adoptable and desired by throngs of people, because they feel more empowered by embracing it. Daily mass meditation would be a good start, along with time just being with the earth’s majesty…and more dancing!

More than evolutionary stochastic patterns, intelligence is the ability to solve problems, and plants and animals other than humans clearly demonstrate those expressive and sentient smarts over and over. Immersed in invisible air and supported by countless alive creatures, we cannot claim to do a solitary dance of being. When was the last time we consciously, directly expressed our affection for our dear earth, which nourishes and sustains us all?

It is clear that our pandemic wake-up call will soon morph into an endemic persistent nagging at our collective will to engage in constructive change on a planetary scale. The virus is not going away, but will remain as a seasonal infection somewhat more deadly than influenza. Time for some hygge, an important Danish concept of wellbeing worth emulating. Include 15 year old Alma’s music in the mix: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0xMpLXQNvM

Lots of data coming in about the mental health toll of this pandemic, and clearly isolation, fear of infection, and economic fallout are three major factors contributing to a rise in anxiety and depression. The CDC even has a “be kind to your mind” initiative—especially important given what we know from the field of psychoneuroimmunology, and its research into the adverse impact of stress, sleep and nutrition on our body’s protective systems.

Pragmatic daily doings combine with higher order aspirations – the spiritual quest for purpose and meaning in a cosmos with over an estimated 125 billion galaxies – as I strive each day to avoid absent minded busyness. You know of what I speak: the endless email dribble, invasive telemarketing phone calls, the internet fodder that often distracts more than discerns, enervates rather than entertains.

All of the challenges – pandemic, climate change, invasion of the Capitol – are calling us to our better selves. No doubt, humans are the biggest trouble makers on the planet, and my sense is that there are three major reasons for that reality. A triad of unskillful behaviors – endless population expansion, unfettered desires, and “us and them” mentality – that create a downward spiraling morass of suffering.

January 6 is the Western Christian feast of the Epiphany, when Jesus is recognized by the Magi as the spiritual King of humans. It is also a term referring to a striking realization that allows a problem or situation to be understood from a new and deeper perspective. With the violent events unfolding at the Capitol on that very day, did you have any epiphany? I know I did. Let me explain what it was…

A few specific, realistic commitments for 2021 remind us of the power of intention as a force for good—especially when they involve self-care, or altruistic actions towards other beings. They help us remember the everyday beauty that makes existence not only livable but infused with joy.

Greatness resides in trust. G R I T. This little acronym came to me in those subtle moments between sleeping and waking. Grit seems to be a combination of perseverance and determination, fueled by passion and a mindset willing to explore one’s edge—a we are here to grow and evolve perspective. When I reference trust in the context of true grit, I am speaking about its trifold dimension: trust other humans, trust God or the Universe, and trust oneself.

This is a time to be true to my own solitude and the secret knowledge it harbors from whatever storms swirl about in the outer world. Beyond the notions of ‘to thine own self be true’ and 'trust thyself', and 'the unexamined life is not worth living', what also emerges for me is a deep appreciation for all who have nurtured me along the way.

As I record this, the first doses of the heavily guarded Pfizer vaccine are being shipped across the country from their Michigan production facility, targeted initially for health care workers and at-risk elderly. I want to explore a number of issues relating to the vaccine that I believe are important for folks to understand.

Rudolf Steiner, founder of the Waldorf method of instruction, speaks of Human's Twelve Senses and their relation to Imagination, Inspiration, and Intuition. I believe that feeling the miracle rhythms of our senses aids the process of metanoia, a change in one's way of life resulting from spiritual conversion, a transformative opening of the heart. Such radiance is always relevant to our journey, more so when battling pandemic fatigue and full catastrophe.

What does the current condition of the world and the pandemic have to teach us? What lessons keep repeating until we really grok them? Rules for Being Human here: (copy and paste in your browser)

https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1a4a46_ec637daa47264e118b74e8cb4350e724~mv2.png/v1/fill/w_510,h_676,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01/10%20Rules%20for%20Being%20Human.webp

There is a huge body of scientific evidence about the healing powers of music. Even just listening to it stimulates many astounding beneficial effects. Recover faster post surgery, heal more quickly physically and cognitively from a stroke, lighten depression, reduce anxiety, improve sleep, calm road rage, boost energy. Children who play instruments do better at math and learning languages. We all intuitively know it helps us chill, and is good for body mind spirit.

We are without doubt in an apocalyptic time. The Latin word apocalypsis refers to a disclosing, a revelation. How to summon our inner juju, mojo, duende in order to stay balanced? Without getting too esoteric, abstruse, arcane, or obscure, I have been playing with these four ideas…

I am exhausted by the many rapidly radicalized adherents to online cults with fringe fulminations, tired and disappointed by all the superior and know-it-all mien of conspiracies. It seems so many in our world feel alienated, which makes them ripe to acquire an unquestioning faith in the veracity of any cause that offers them a chance to vent their frustrations. I am keeping my fingers crossed that we come together as a nation, with respect for each other and our differing ideas about how to solve the problems confronting us.

Freedom involves the precious gift of choice, and the power to change both our internal perceptions and external circumstances. Shenpa, a Buddhist concept, drags us out of the present into a painful habituated past. Seeking relief from such unease, we crave comfort via food, sex, shopping, alcohol or other drugs, or even work: pick your favorite habitual hook that keeps one trapped.

The endless stream of negative headlines continues. Time to get out of Dodge and camp with my men’s group on the Chama river. The juxtaposition of Nature time with the general level of angst experienced by many these days got me musing about the notion of ambiguous loss—a loss that is unclear, lacks resolution, and much more difficult to grieve.

The basic premise of the Black Swan Theory is that some rare events are entirely unpredictable, yet they have extreme impact in terms of the course of human history. Humanity itself seems to be riding two horse drawn chariots towards the portal of our future, complete with furious wheels churning, propelled by beasts pushed to their limits. We might name the two forces Evolution and Ruination.

Ever stayed in a job or relationship too long because of the “good stuff,” ignoring the downsides? Those golden handcuffs are hard to get off once in place. Especially in terms of the amount of stuff that gets accumulated along the way. The way through seems to be to instead shift my focus to what brings me alive.

The philosophical term qualia refers to the myriad subjective conscious experiences we all have: bodily pain, the colors of a sunset, the taste of ripe fruit. We live on the same planet as everyone else, but we actually think, feel and sensate in different ones. What I cherish becomes the north star of my being, doing and having. Values represent my own center of gravity that consistently anchors me to my greatest self, the Big Self.

Both invention and the creative juices that inspire it require us to be fully present, which essentially means to be observant, to listen, to flow without judgment, and be less in our minds and thoughts than in our bodies and feelings. To just be with whatever is happening is a skill one must develop, especially in these times of constant stim, streaming screens and screaming headlines.

To properly tend to, I first have to turn off the everyday distractions that plague this modern life, and muster the willingness to tune in. My sense is that we benefit from a hefty dose of it each week— this surrendering to actively listen to what our spirit has to say. We generate tenderness toward our foibles and missteps, our conflicting emotions, our failures to not live up to our most cherished values. Only then might we begin to tend the other.

Creating a healing ceremony with loving friends often helps us move beyond past and current hurt. Even if we have to do it on Zoom! We might use our creative imagination and tune into the healing light within each of us to find our way to a meaningful shared ceremony. And we are not doing this in isolation! Enter the global response network of Shamanism without Borders.

This is a planetary moment of great ecoanxiety, pandemicmania, and racial disparity reckoning. Suspending rationality, daydreams invite us to try on different costumes of an imagined future, sparking new ideas and options that might not arise in a jammed overstuffed scheduled day.

The chance encounter – unintended meeting of persons unfamiliar to each other – becomes even more mysterious in these lockdown times, and perhaps worthy of bowing down to honor the universal force of synchronicity. It cannot be denied that there are those moments in our lives when a seemingly random meeting has great influence on the course and direction of our life. What were some of yours?

Our minds have been manipulated to give power to illusions. Infinite human growth on a finite planet is suicide. We are destroying the planet with our extreme numbers and careless behaviors, not CO2! So what am I willing to give up? The edge of change – real and necessary transformation – is sharpened when we simplify what we have been conditioned to believe we need. Spending time “out” is the cutting edge of making that so.

This weekend we observe three important events: Father’s Day, Summer Solstice and World Refugee Day. Each calls upon us in different ways to embody love, and our own authenticity. Compassionate action invites us to give generously to Fathers New Mexico (https://www.fathersnewmexico.org/), find meaningful ways to honor and protect our planetary home, and reach out to refugees everywhere including those in our own neighborhoods.

White privilege might be defined as unseen, unconscious advantages, including being able to move through life without being racially profiled or unfairly stereotyped; it continues to exist because of historic, enduring racism and biases. Acknowledging it is an important first step. Current headlines just make me feel sad about how progress on issues of social justice and equality always seems a stuttering slow molasses pace.

The Public health model of harm reduction acknowledges people where they are, while inviting them along a continuum of decreasing risky behaviors. We can use its concepts as we begin to open up our society.The safest option for some individuals may be to mostly stay at home until we have a vaccine. But that is no longer a practical approach for our communal wellbeing. Businesses and schools need to keep opening and stay open in the fall!

A Census Bureau household survey this week revealed that a third of Americans self-report signs of clinical CoVid 19 related anxiety or depression, Grief, uncertainty and stress comprise the damaging triad of these trying times for many. Isolation, trouble sleeping and shorter emotional fuses are commonplace. Co-counseling & regular support groups can help. National Suicide Prevention hotline 800-273 TALK or the crisis text line offer 24/7 support by texting 741741.

This is clearly a time to expand our moral imagination, wherein our concern moves beyond nationalism to protecting the worldwide most vulnerable. With a decent anti-viral medicine & improved ability to contact trace, we will face the fall wave with greater confidence and less fear, and do what we can to protect those most at risk, without destroying livelihoods and entire economies.

Our children need physical play and contact with other children. And they especially need adults to fight against corporate lobbying efforts to prevent science based research that affects aspects of their well-being—whether that be related to drugs and alcohol, firearms, wireless networks or vaccines.

Our economy seems to be rooted in a DEAD worldview: dominate, exploit, acquire and destroy. I am not pointing fingers here, as I unfortunately support and contribute to it in my own ways. Can we embrace a more circular prudence & heed the CoVid19 wake-up call to move beyond “business as usual?”

Waking life now seems to have its own dream like attributes, complete with time distortions and odd sensations. When to say it is okay to die? I’ve had a number of close relatives mutter those 4 empowering words: “I’m ready to go”—meaning they were at peace and ready to die anytime. What might I do if I were in my late 80s or 90s in these times? I like to think I’d be willing to just accept that if I got infected, I’d spare the health care system the burden of my care, save the vent for someone else, and let me go at home in a peaceful setting.

“Give me liberty or give me COVID-19” reads a sign at a recent weekend protest. Companies like 23andMe have assembled huge DNA databases, with more than 10 million people on file. The company recently sent customers a survey to collect information for a potential Covid-19 study.We may soon have information on who might be genetically more resistant to this virus, with far reaching social consequences.

Waiting waiting waiting. Sto Aspettando. My primary sensation as I awake each morning is that of waiting. Sure there is a well of sadness and a tinge of anxiety as well, but waiting is the dominant chord. Waiting to embrace my daughters again, waiting for friends who are ill to recover, waiting for some semblance of return to normal. There is more than enough analysis, assessment, projection prediction forecast all of which are fancy words for guess. So I am also waiting for science to clarify, for the political divisiveness to ease.

Some level of anxiety, helplessness and grief are commonplace with most folks with whom I regularly check in. Occasional grouchiness, bouts of pessimism and robust dismissiveness appear, unwelcome and uninvited. Resilience is an active process with many biological underpinnings. Can we actually think ourselves into resilience? Today we cover a simple three part process for dancing with our stress.

From low tech masks to high tech medications and vaccines, the race is on to have more implements in our anti-viral toolbox. An electronic pandemic panopticon is now emerging. From facial recognition to location detecting smartphones, there exists the possibility for tracking diseases in real time. Using big data and the internet, the flow of each person can be tracked —raising obvious privacy concerns but also offering incredible tools to monitor spread and compliance with health directives.

Over a very short period of time, the world has seemingly taken a sharp turn into the twilight zone, as daily life moves from its normal neutral zone – that somewhat mindless going on about our individual business – to a collective communal gasp. It is as if the planet has asked us to take a big pause, beautifully portrayed in this video, “Lettera dal virus”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6-An69TNMY&t=56s

Watch it soon the link keeps changing…

A shortage of gowns and eye gear and masks that actually protect is unacceptable. It is absolutely criminal that we spend billions on weapons and war, and remain totally unprepared for a pandemic battleground. At war with no ammo is a stark reality for many health care personnel, hundreds of whom have begun reaching out through pleas for help on social media, using the hashtag #getmeppe—referring to personal protective equipment. We must have their backs!

The good news often gets buried in the avalanche of the terrible. A number of anti-viral drugs are in human clinical trails, and the Coalition for Epidemic Preparedness (CEPI), founded in 2017 to fund small bio tech companies willing to take on the economic risk –usually shunned by Big Pharma – of developing vaccines, already has a COVID 19 vaccine entering safety trials in April. The mortality rate continues to fall worldwide as we get a more accurate picture of the number of asymptomatic or mildly infected people, who never go on to more serious illness.

Even though our individual risk for contracting the virus remains low, the impacts on society – not just economically – are becoming profound. Add in a large dose of many of us not really trusting government to tell the truth, and we have fertile ground for all sorts of blaming fingers to start wagging. Here is some new info and a reminder about preparedness.

Today, Feb 29,2020, the worldwide total approaches 87,000 people infected with COVID 19 in 63 countries and territories, including the first cases in Africa, with almost 3000 dead, including the first death in the US. Check out CDC.gov/coronavirus

With a vaccine likely 12-18 months away, here is the critical information you need to know from my perspective.

Every child receives both gifts and wounds from their parents, and our job is to learn to appreciate the gifts, even as we attempt to mend the emotional injuries. As the Little Prince reminds us: “One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.”

Empowering intentionality: We imagine things, then bring some skills, desire and focused time, energy and attention until we are enjoying what was once simply a thought form. Intentionality is related to having and doing, but also to being. This is all internal work, and aspiring to or wanting to embody certain feeling states – peace, compassion, acceptance – also benefit from holding a clear intention.

It is not just the big losses in our lives that can weigh us down. All the small disappointments of living, the minor players on the stage of melancholy, have their disheartening effects. I have learned over the years that I must provide space for everything grief brings: all its unpleasant baggage of anger and fear and sorrow. Through my grief, I recognize that healing is any change for the better.

My men’s group had one of its bi annual extended gatherings this past week. Our connections with each other provide many possibilities to explore both the longing to share our creative endeavors, and the celebrations that always have a place at the table of our life—despite aging and health challenges.

Isolation affects millions of people around the world, especially the elderly. This is different from loneliness, which is more of a subjective experience, harder to quantify. Ongoing research suggests that loneliness has adverse health consequences as profound as smoking or obesity.

A couple of months ago, I was one of 21 adults arrested at the NM State Capitol in support of Youth United For Climate Crisis Action. Catastrophe can be averted through community, companies and countries getting their collective act together, and realizing that the time to act is yesterday.

We each have some daily dependence & intimate relationship with our devices, and the emerging deep learning algorithms that continue to transform every aspect of human endeavor and experience. Are we really paying attention about how to align Artificial Intelligence ethically and legally with our most cherished values?

New day new year new decade new chapter in the book of our life. New Year’s resolutions might be a good example of our lack of individual emotional smarts, since half of them are dropped within a month. Here are five emotional barriers that may get in our way in terms of following through on what we say we are about this new year.

Holidays – with their expectations of joyous celebration and social niceties – are anything but for millions of people who find little comfort in old family wounds, and re-igniting of addictive or personal less-than-skillful habits and triggers. Here are my “three chords and the truth” to get through.

How to find a space of appreciation no matter what is unfolding? Solstice is always a time, as we begin anew to enter the light, to focus on what is good and true. I am blessed to be alive…

From ancient Egyptians to Australian aborigines, sound healing is a primordial practice that uses musical instruments that vibrate at particular frequencies, or the voice chanting mantras, to cultivate immersive meditation or relaxation. This week I had the privilege of listening to the Drepung Loseling monks offer their sacred multiphonic chanting for individual, social, environmental and global healing.

Link to 10 WHO story: https://www.santafenewmexican.com/news/local_news/promoting-healthy-holistic-masculinity/article_6c2c00ac-8154-5c08-9b34-f9ffba00fdbf.html#utm_source=santafenewmexican.com&utm_campaign=%2Fnewsletters%2Fyour-morning-headlines%2F%3F123%26-dc%3D1575288009&utm_medium=email&utm_content=read%20more

The reality is always that ENERGY FLOWS WHERE ATTENTION GOES. Whenever we bring ourselves back to right here right now, our bodies respond with a burst of life force. The paradox is that during duress trying to escape the present is always less effective – and often more destructive – than fully entering into our pain and discomfort, consciously softening it and working with it rather than against it.

Nothing like a sudden encounter with the flu – as is happening this week – to kindle the inner flames of thankfulness. This week we focus on living in gratitude, one of the four internal power threads of conscious aging, empowering perspectives worth cultivating.

Conscious aging asks us to do our best to keep both our bodies and our minds flexible, willing to discover a different inventive way, to navigate new challenges before us. When we can muster the mindset of adjust and adapt, struggle frustration and efforting go out the window, replaced by calm and resourceful acceptance.

Perhaps a major lesson of aging is learning how to speak our truth firmly, yet kindly, especially to those who would have their own way with us, even till our last breath. And all of this involves acknowledging the losses as they arise. To be an eager student of whatever lesson life seems intent on teaching us at the moment.

Each day we trick ourselves into believing we are immortal. From artists to philosophers, poets to religious figures, many who came before us have used the concept of memento mori—an object or symbol to remind us of our own death and to stimulate thought about this final frontier. This practice can be uplifting, rather than morbid or morose, because it reminds us of life's preciousness.

Physician-assisted death or "aid in dying" is now legal in nine jurisdictions, with one more to be added in 2020. Individuals must have a terminal illness as well as a prognosis of six months or less to live. Physicians cannot be prosecuted for prescribing medications to hasten death. Polls indicate that 68% of Americans favor the possibility, despite ongoing opposition from religious groups. Is this something you might consider?

For me, hospice at home seems an essential element in having a good death. Not judging, just trying to understand why anyone – if they can possibly avoid it – would want to die in the hospital, connected to tubes and lines and monitors with little quality of life.

Hunting is not for everyone, but each of us can access what the Objiwa peoples call ototeman the mystical connection between humans and other living creatures. It is always worth the effort to forge such a bond. To do so we have to go into their territory, where wild animals live, play and die.

All the bad news – from dying stars to dying oceans – can really beat me down, leaving me feeling powerless and beyond redemption. So staying in my circle of influence, what is possible? As a scientist recently noted at a local public lecture, the Earth doesn’t care and will survive just fine—with or without humans.

Is the alpha male image worthy of our attention? Do we really aspire to its qualities, and what might we choose instead? Recent research suggests that our previous conceptions about such elevated primate status needs some clarification.

For me surrender always involves a triad where I let go, feel the loss, and embrace acceptance. When we truly surrender we invite communion with the Greek concept of Kairos, best translated as right timing. We learn to rely upon and honor that part of us that always knows when to act, and when to wait.

We examine more ways to foster intimacy: a love flash signal, discovering your partner’s primary love language, affirming when they do change in ways we like, staying in touch with our own needs, facing our fears and taking time and space to grieve what is not working in the relationship.

What tools might we use to feel more comfortable and safe with conflict in intimate relationships? We discuss the importance of neutral observations, responsibility is to be taken not assigned, empathize and connect first, and when I most want to run is when I most need to stay.

Avoidance of conflict is a common major obstacle to intimacy. How might we learn to first look within when triggered, make requests rather than demands, and then move from resentment to contentment?

Africa, with all its incredible beauty and abundant resources always stirs my social justice pot, asks me if I am doing enough to make the world a better place, and how I might imagine a future where I live with less, and the many without have a bit more.