Dragons in Genesis: Recent Episodes
Dragons in Genesis
A critical bible study which places the individual stories within the context of the culture and contemporary mythologies from the region.
Concluding Matthew’s gospel brings us more modifications on the gospel of Mark, the influence of the Book of Daniel and his time in the lion’s den on the story of the crucifixion and resurrection, as well as a curious detail that demonstrates that the other criminal, Barabbas, was not a figure from history, but a symbol from scripture.
As Matthew’s author copied and expanded Mark’s gospel, he adapted Jesus for an audience that held the Hebrew Bible in higher regard. Thus the messiah became more loyal to Jewish law, more reverent to temple requirements, and more like Moses than originally described.
Among the most popular stories from the life of Jesus is the Sermon on the Mount. 3 chapters of lessons from the most famous teacher in history… though this sermon isn’t found in the earliest gospel. Now did earlier christians know anything about it. That doesn’t mean the teachings didn’t exist, as the lessons found in that sermon were certainly recorded… they just didn’t come from Jesus.
As with his ministry and miracles, the final days of the life of Jesus are rife with allegory and seem to be constructed from scenes borrowed from prior literature. But is there some kernel of truth behind the myth? Is there fact behind the fiction? Surely his trial and death must shed some light on the actual events… unless that too was taken from older stories.
From the transfiguration on the mountaintop to his overturning of tables in the temple, the arrival of Jesus at Jerusalem is filled with memorable scenes that demonstrate his character and illustrate his teachings. But many of those scenes and even his words, were not original to his story. Instead they seem borrowed from earlier tales of prophets, teachers, and even mythical figures.
Jesus lays out his fate to a crowd of disbelieving disciples who reject the idea that their savior must suffer and die, but prior to this is he repeats his calming of the sea and multiplication of bread and fish miracles. The reasoning behind this repetition can be found in the differences in the details, and in the repeated use of the sea in a story set in the Judean desert.
Decades after christianity began, an unknown author completely changed scripture by penning a Greek tragedy about the messiah. So popular was his work that in spawned numerous rewrites and imitations during the subsequent decades. His biography of Jesus would set the stage for storytellers for the next 2000 years, and the amazing adventures of the miracle-working prophet would be expanded by later authors. But where did this anonymous author get the idea for his gospel? The apologist would say that it was passed down orally from eyewitnesses, but the truth is far more complex than that.
In the mid second century BCE, the people of Judea did the impossible… the ended centuries of foreign rule by expelling the Seleucids and reviving the divine Judean kingship. To celebrate their victory, they wrote stories which pretended to predict this achievement and cast a legendary hero from Canaanite mythology as their prophet. The result included angels, foreign gods, dragon-slaying, and great beasts that would reappear in Revelation.
In the aftermath of the fall of Jerusalem the population was lost, bereft of king and temple. Their prosperity and security had been taken from them and family members had been carted away to a distant land. But perhaps worst of all, their own deity seemed to have turned his back on them. But when he finally took notice he didn’t offer comfort, but wrath.
Perhaps no other single book of the Hebrew Bible is as important to the New Testament authors as Zechariah. From it we find the idea of a suffering servant figure, a Davidic savior, one who is pierced through, who enters Jerusalem riding on a donkey and will remove the sins of the people before being elevated to the throne of heaven to sit beside God.
Could Yahweh be a dying-and-rising god? Does Malachi speak to the worship of Asherah in the Jerusalem Temple? Was Yahweh originally an angel who served his father, El Elyon? All these questions and more are raised by the minor prophets who saw the restoration of Judah as a parallel with the restoration of nature and linked it with annual sacrifices.
From giants and witches, to sun gods and talking animals, the Bible is littered with strange mythology. Curious stories concerning mystical beings can be found in every book, but one of the strangest stories is that of Jonah. Not only is a man eaten by a fish, but this prophet might just shed light on another myth which was prominent in the ancient world but seems blasphemous to modern theologians… Jonah might just tell us that, once upon a time, God died.
Throughout the New Testament we’re treated to countless examples of literary influence from the older texts, including the Book of Enoch and the works of Homer. But most striking are perhaps the numerous examples of New Testament authors borrowing directly from the Hebrew Bible in order to craft their most memorable scenes. From the nativity story to the crucifixion, virtually every scene from the life of Jesus can be traced to Jewish writings centuries earlier.
As the returning exiles begin settling in Judah and our timeline moves nearer the Intertestamental Period, the literature looks both forward and backward in time, to themes of a coming day of judgment that will lay the foundation for Christianity and to the idea that past sins caused their recent downfall which will soon inspire the mythic history which serves as the origin story for the Jews.
The influence from neighboring cultures in Second Temple Judaism cannot be overstated, but that influence shows up in some surprising places and comes from some surprising sources. Perhaps none more alarming are the Babylonians themselves who took the upper classes from Jerusalem hostage. From this hostile neighbor the Jews would get a new writing system, a new calendar, units and measures, the concept of the Sabbath, and even a new home for Yahweh, the great temple of the Babylonian storm-god Marduk.
An enemy of Judah is an enemy of Yahweh, and what better way to describe his enemies than in terms of his most ancient of foes, the great sea dragon? But this section of Ezekiel isn’t just populated with dragons, but also angels with flaming swords, god-kings, trees that reach into heaven, and rivers of blood.
The Bible is filled with strange scenes, but few can compare with the opening of Ezekiel when the sky is filled with clouds, fire, and lightning and a vision of a strange entity described as “wheels within wheels” terrifies the prophet so that he cannot speak for a week. But it’s hardly the strangest thing we’ll encounter in this episode. There’s also the worship of a bronze snake, a resurrected Sumerian god, child sacrifice, and Yahweh’s own mother.
The Mediterranean region is littered with myths of storm gods fighting great sea monsters, and Israel is no different. Their dragon goes by the name Leviathan and wishes to swallow up the world, and Yahweh, in a great tumultuous flood. This is part of their creation myth, but it can serve another purpose. It can be recycled to explain military losses and the destruction of Yahweh’s temple… but to do that, Yahweh must side with his greatest enemy, the dragon itself.
As the destruction of the temple draws near, Jeremiah offers mixed messages of hope and despair, of violent ends and joyous beginnings. The city will be dismantled, no, it will be burned down. The temple will be toppled, or perhaps consumed by cleansing flames. And through it all the story of Zarathustra shines as the prophet replays the court scene from the legendary Persian prophet.
Moses is presented as the prototypical prophet who brings Yahwism to a nation of people who have forgotten Yahweh. Under his reform and leadership they eradicate idolatry and establish a new covenant. But is Moses the true prototypical prophet, or is he modeled after another?
When the Jewish exiles returned from Babylon they brought with them sweeping changes to their religion, changes formed during and after their captivity. Many changes were unwelcome, but as they were backed by the Persian state, they held sway in the newly-built Jerusalem. As their reforms took root, older forms of Yahweh worship were deemed apostate including the acknowledgment of Yahweh’s siblings, the worship of his consort, and the practice of sacrificing children to appease their deity.
Throughout human history people have attempted to explain tragedy with divine wrath. Great calamity seems to invite magical explanations as we seek meaning in our suffering. The final chapters of Isaiah attempt exactly that, ascribing their crushing defeat at the hands of the Babylonians to Yahweh’s anger and using such an explanation as a polemic against rival styles of worship. And in doing so, the anonymous prophet offers hope in time of suffering.
Throughout the Hebrew Bible we’ve found important sections that were inspired by older myths and stories. From the opening chapter of Genesis drawing upon the Babylonian creation epic to Jacob’s struggle with the mysterious figure by the river taking details from the Epic of Gilgamesh, outside inspiration permeates the stories. But were the stories of Abraham and Moses inspired by portions of the book of Isaiah? And was Sarah, Abraham’s wife, originally a Canaanite goddess?
The Hebrew Bible is filled with prohibitions against human sacrifice as Yahweh repeatedly states he is against such practices and has never asked for them. Yet buried within the text are stories which the redactors forgot to remove, stories in which Yahweh fiery pits are maintained for the purpose of sacrifice children and even entire armies to the patron god of Jerusalem.
The Jubilee Year was a time of change in Jewish lives, a time when property was returned to its original owner and people returned to their homes. A time to return the disrupted nation to a more orderly state. It should come as no surprise that this concept was linked with the Great Flood in which sin was washed away, leaving the world ready for a new and fresh creation. And as Isaiah explores these connections, he provides a wealth of inspiration for later Christians.
Throughout the story of Jesus we find countless references to Old Testament passages, and no book of the Hebrew Bible is quoted more often than Isaiah. The contents of this book is concerned with themes of judgment and atonement, the remission of sin and the consequences of corruption, the destruction of the temple and the return to glory, and most importantly, the coming of the messiah.
The Song of Songs is a collection of erotic poetry that somehow made its way into Jewish scripture, but how did this occur? Apologists have long struggled with this idea, offering thee excuse that it’s secretly an allegory for the love of Yahweh to his chosen people. But the poetry contained in this book might be a love poem between two other deities entirely.
The book of Ecclesiastes, also called Qoheleth, is a curious text whose inclusion into the Hebrew canon has troubled scholars for centuries. It’s an introspective, pessimistic writing that violates traditional wisdom theology by positing that wisdom brings grief and moral behavior is fruitless.
We conclude our study of Proverbs with sections 3-8 of the book which includes the Poem of the Good Wife, a work that outlines what it means to be a good woman and the type of person a man should look for when choosing a partner. Moreover, it tells what a husband can expect from a good wife. Though this poem, and the book which contains it, might fall short in offering moral guidance.
The book of Proverbs, attributed to King Solomon despite the fact that most sections are individually attributed to other editors, provides us with poems, phrases, guidance, and sometimes-timeless advice. And in a few places it gives us a glimpse into long-forgotten aspects of Jewish mythology, such as a great Mother Goddess who helped create the universe!
The book of Proverbs, attributed to King Solomon despite the fact that most sections are individually attributed to other editors, provides us with poems, phrases, guidance, and sometimes-timeless advice. And in a few places it gives us a glimpse into long-forgotten aspects of Jewish mythology, such as a great Mother Goddess who helped create the universe!
The final episode covering the Book of Psalms includes the Thanksgiving Psalms, Liturgical Psalms, and the Acrostics. But we aren't satisfied with covering 150 psalms included in the Bible. We dig up 5 more psalms that have been discovered in various manuscripts and examine those as well.
The final episode covering the Book of Psalms includes the Thanksgiving Psalms, Liturgical Psalms, and the Acrostics. But we aren't satisfied with covering 150 psalms included in the Bible. We dig up 5 more psalms that have been discovered in various manuscripts and examine those as well.
We tackle 3 more genres of Psalm, the Hymns, Wisdom, and Royal Psalms and discuss their usefulness in early Christian literature.
In the wake of the the Babylonian Conquest many Jews found themselves living in captivity, prisoners of their conquerors. Their city destroyed, their worship interrupted, they longed for the days when Yahweh would once again rule over them and provide safety for their nation and community. Thus was born the lament psalms, songs meant to inform God of their difficulties and beg his assistance, psalms that offered praise and promises in exchange for aid.
In the wake of the the Babylonian Conquest many Jews found themselves living in captivity, prisoners of their conquerors. Their city destroyed, their worship interrupted, they longed for the days when Yahweh would once again rule over them and provide safety for their nation and community. Thus was born the lament psalms, songs meant to inform God of their difficulties and beg his assistance, psalms that offered praise and promises in exchange for aid.
We conclude our coverage of Job by examining the subsequent layers which were added to the text over the centuries and examine the theological implications of these layers. Does the new information contradict the original narrative, and why is the Book of Job so important to christianity?
This is a story all about how
Job's life got twist-turned upside down
Give me an episode or two and I'll explain
How God inflicted Job with a life of pain
The story of Job is NOT what you think. In fact, there isn't actually one story presented in the book, but several. And we're covering all of them.
Imagine ancient Jews who didn't observe kosher laws, had no special interest in Jerusalem, didn't practice circumcision, married foreigners, and wrote stories that never mentioned their god. This may seem difficult to imagine, but for Jews living outside of Judah, this was ordinary. Esther explores life in the Persian Empire through a tale of court intrigue and manipulation as it attempts to explain the origins of an ancient festival with pagan roots.
The Torah is centered around the idea that the descendants of Abraham are the rightful residents of the land of Israel and the religion they follow is the one true faith. Their law code comes from Moses and the land is granted to them according to divine covenant with Yahweh. But according to the Bible itself Abraham came from Babylon and the Law Code was written in Persia. And maybe, just maybe, the entire story of Abraham and Moses were written to provide Jewish pedigree for Persian ideas.
The Song of Songs is the only piece of erotic love poetry included in the Hebrew Bible, and the imagery in the song is borderline pornographic. That's why I chose to recite the poem with appropriate music.
The Post-Exilic return to Judah from Babylon is central to Jewish theology, but why? Shouldn't their religion have simply picked up where the First Temple left off? What if the Second Temple wasn't a mere continuation of the old religion, but a fresh start? What if Moses and Joshua, and even Abraham were stories told to support a new religion which actually angered adherents to the older form of Judaism? And what if this new religion was a political tool instituted by the Persians? And what if the Bible actually said as much?
The wild inventions of the Chronicler continue in this episode as we cover the entirety of the First Temple Period beginning with King Solomon and ending with the Temple's destruction at the hands of the Babylonians, ushering in the influence of Persian rule and religion which is evident in the text. See how the Chronicler changes events from the record of the Books of Kings in order to satisfy his own theological views.
The two books of Chroniclers are yet another attempt by biblical authors to rewrite their national history and create new scripture which contradicts the older versions. What makes Chroniclers stand out is the fact that the older version of history, the books of Samuel and Kings, were too prolific to erase. So we're able to see how they attempted to rewrite history yet again and compare and contrast Chronicles with its source material. And in this episode that's exactly what we're going to do.
Set during the time of the Judges, the Book of Ruth follows Ruth and Naomi, two widows returning to Bethlehem during the wheat harvest. Neither has money or prospects, but by the end of the tale they will have secured their future. But is there more to the story than a tale of women taking control of their own destiny?
Things aren’t going so well for Israel and Judah. Beset on the west by the Egyptians, the east by the Assyrians, and each other from the north and south, God’s chosen people are battling for their lives. But their hardships are due to their own wicked ways as they offend Yahweh at every turn. However, they didn’t know that what they were doing was wrong, because, according to the text, they hadn’t yet been told of their covenant with Yahweh.
Elisha the prophet. Elisha the miracle-worker. Elisha the moon god. As the Israelites moved to a lunar calendar the importance of their lunar figures such as Elisha became more important, thus their stories of greatness and miraculous achievements grew until they outshined those of even their sun gods. Blessed with a double portion of divinity, Elisha is unparalleled in the books of Samuel and Kings as the most powerful prophet... and he doesn't like children.
How much sun god imagery can you fit into one character? I'm not sure, but the story of Elijah is trying to cram it all in there. From calling down fire from the sky (multiple times) to cursing the land with heat waves, the story of this prophet has it all. He also has more parallels to Moses than you can shake a magic staff at... which he also does.
Solomon's turn toward strange gods and stranger religious practices has convinced Yahweh to punish the nation of Israel by dividing it into two separate kingdoms, the northern land of Israel and the southern kingdom of Judah. This begins a series of conflicts led be two successions of kings who seem to go out of their way to displease the Lord. In the Books of Kings we're treated to political intrigue, betrayal, curses, harlots, and child sacrifice.
The greatest structure ever built in Jerusalem was Yahweh's temple, but the story of its construction might be a product of a much later generation. And the details preserved of the early religion still shine through and seem strange to monotheistic religions of today.
What did the early Christians believe about Jesus? Prior to the writing of Mark's gospel, Christian theology seemed... strange. It hints that Jesus lived in the heavens and never set foot on earth. But surely that can't be what the first Christian authors are hinting at. So what if they're not hinting at all? What if they left explicit writings detailing their beliefs about the cosmos and Christ's purpose and actions? And what if that writing had nothing at all to do with a man who ever walked the earth?
Paul can't seem to stay out of trouble and lands himself in prison once again. While cooling his heels he preaches to the guards and sends out a few letters. What do they say? Apparently Jesus lives in outer space.
Everything that could go wrong within a church has gone wrong. One member is sleeping with his stepmother and his immoral behavior has attracted the ire of Paul’s rivals who seek to undermine his authority. If that’s not bad enough, the congregation has turned against him. Some are denying that Christ was resurrected and others are openly cursing Jesus! What is an apostle to do? Write a stern letter, of course.
One of Paul's final letters, written to the Christians in Rome, contains a treasure trove of information which sheds light on the beliefs of the early Christian community. Though these beliefs don't always match up with the tale later told in the book of Acts. And the Jesus that these early Christians worshiped may have been quite different from anything we could have previously guessed.
The apostle Paul gives us our oldest surviving Christian writings which were addressed to congregations on two continents. But the version of Christianity he preach and the story of Jesus that he and his congregations understood, is significantly different from what would be stated in the later gospels. His ideas seem constantly at odds with the Hebrew Bible, which he seems to believe is irrelevant to Christianity.
We conclude our survey of the Book of Enoch with the Epistles of Enoch. This fifth and final section deals with blessings of the righteous and curses for the wicked, the destruction of heaven and earth, and the divine nature of Noah. We also dig into the overall theology of the authors of this book and how it sets the stage for Christianity.
In the Book of Visions we find a strange and curious section entitled the "Animal Apocalypse" which tells the entire history of the world, but replaces all the main characters with various animals. One portion, involving a great man who is being portrayed as a ram, has been hailed as a prophecy for Jesus' imminent arrival. But the truth behind this scene might be something else entirely. This might recall an event which is connected to the origins of Hanukkah and the story of Samson.
In the middle of 1 Enoch lies the Astronomy Book, a strange manuscript which details the method for establishing a solar calendar. While this may be important for tracking the seasons, it's difficult to comprehend why it should be included in scripture. Unless there's more to this book and their calendar than we previously believed.
Our study of the Book of Enoch continues as we dig deeper into the Similitudes of Enoch. The order of creation is laid out, the power of names is revealed, and we finally learn the identity of the Son of Man.
We continue our study of the Book of Enoch by examining the Parables. Messianic themes abound in this portion of the book as we meet the Elect One and the Son of Man. Who were these mysterious figures? Did they have names? And how much influence did Zoroastrianism have on this literature?
The angels have fallen and the stars have disobeyed the covenant. One man will act as intermediary between heaven and earth and serve as both divine scribe and holy messenger. He'll see the entirety of creation and learn the hidden secrets of the universe. But to do that he'll first need to ascend to the highest heaven and see what no man has seen before.
The discovery of a strange book gives new insights into the origins of Christianity and the complex relationship between sects of Judaism. It's filled with bizarre imagery and curious themes. The Sons of God introduce corruption into the perfect creation and bloodthirsty giants walk the earth. People are animals, men are angels, angels are stars, and sometimes those stars revolt.
It's wrong. It's all wrong. The entire New Testament is in the wrong order, and it's my opinion that reading the New Testament in the order in which it's presented causes a great deal of confusion. It prompts the reader to jump to certain conclusions, to make certain assumptions, and this generates a false narrative in the minds of the readers. Perhaps it's time someone examine the Christian Bible by first arranging the texts in chronological order and letting the book speak for itself. Let's see how Christian belief looked before the gospels and watch it evolve through the first two centuries of the Common Era.
We conclude the book of 2 Samuel with repeated references to Yahweh being a grain god along with some good old fashioned human sacrifice. David keeps making enemies of his friends and Goliath shows up with some giant friends. There's a few Greek parallels to make things interesting and we learn the Yahweh dwells in darkness and shadow.
Want to learn more about the parallels with Greek mythology?
https://www.thetorah.com/article/king-david-and-oedipus-rex
David covets his neighbor's wife, kills her husband, invites Yahweh's wrath, and executes a bunch of slaves. But his reign isn't all bad. He turns a blind eye to some pretty heinous crimes in his own house and puts the concubines in charge of Jerusalem before worshiping at an outlawed shrine. Okay, so maybe it is all bad, but he's a good guy. Right?
As we dig deeper into the story of King David we discover strange parallels with his son Solomon, links between David's grand house and the soon-to-be-constructed temple, and between Jerusalem and an ancient city long abandoned. Yahweh keeps getting called Baal and there are multiple contradictory versions of every scene.
The story of King Saul continues. A rival to the throne has stepped onto the stage and the king keeps getting possessed by the “evil spirit of Yahweh.” To make matters worse the Philistines are pressing the attack and David is terrorizing the countryside. Can a man sell his daughter for the low, low price of 100 foreskins? Is it kosher to talk to a witch? Can Abimelech actually be killed? Find out in this episode as we conclude the First Book of Samuel.
Yahweh hand-selected a king but apparently he made a mistake so he changed his mind about who should be king and chooses another to reign in his place. But he also never changes his mind. Before this kid can be king he must be introduced to the reader in three separate and contradictory scenes, including a showdown with a giant who isn't as tall as he appears.
The people of Israel have asked for a king to rule over them and Yahweh makes his choice. But how good a choice is Saul son of Kish? Not very good as it turns out. That's what happens when you elect a leader based solely on height.
We hope back into the Old Testament with 1 Samuel to learn about Samuel, Saul, and the fate of those who dare to steal Yahweh's sacred box. What's the proper gift to appease and angry god? What do rats have to do with all of this? And what's going on with the Temple of Dagon? Wasn't that thing destroyed in the last book? And stick around for another cool announcement.
Where did the First Temple Cult go after being expelled from Jerusalem? And after they were gone, did they remain in exile? Are they still around today?
What happened after the Persian Empire conquered Babylon? How did the new rulers influence the government and religion of ancient Israel? How much of Judaism came from Israel and how much is Persian?
A crash course in the single largest external influence on Second Temple Judaism. Who was Zarathustra? Why was his religion so important? And what was it all about? This is without a doubt my biggest and bestest episode.
Oh, and there's a HUGE announcement. Don't worry, you won't miss it.
We continue our look at First Temple Theology and shift our focus to the purpose of the temple and the role the High Priest played as a Divine King. Creation has been corrupted but a sacred ritual can repair the damage and restore the land.
The Torah is a product of the Second Temple but Jews had been worshiping in Jerusalem for centuries prior to the Babylonian Exile. When the exiled Jews returned from Babylon they reformed the old religion and stamped it out, bringing an end to First Temple Theology. What was this old religion? What did they believe? How did they worship? WHO did they worship? And why did the returning Jews forsake their ancestral beliefs?
You've no doubt heard of Yule and Saturnalia, those two have been mentioned countless times over the years as the origins of Christmas. But how far back does the mid-winter holiday actually go? 2,500 years? 3,000?
Double that age and you'll be in the ballpark. Grab some hot chocolate and snuggle up under a blanket. We're going back in time from one winter celebration to another until we find the origins of Christmas.
Micah's idols are stolen, the Danites still don't have a place to live, and the Israelites almost wipe out one of their own tribes. All this and more in the conclusion of the Book of Judges.
Half man, half god, half hero, half legend.
That's 200% but that's what you get when you cram a Hercules wannabe and a solar demigod into Jewish folklore. So much to unpack in this episode including a moon goddess, sun gods, Dagon's temple, and more. And stick around for a quick announcement.
More judges than you can shake a stick at. Yahweh accepts another human sacrifice, and another ancient festival is given a fictive origin story.
Learn all about the first few tribal leaders of Israel as we examine the first 5 chapter of Judges. Why are they still fighting the Canaanites? Has a woman ever ruled over Israel? Is the tribe of Dan really from Israel? Can Yahweh defeat a metal wagon? Where does this tent stake go? Find all these answers and more.
Was Joshua once a fish god? Were the stories of Joshua once about Yahweh himself? Are Joshua and Moses the same character? And where did the idea that Moses had horns actually come from?
Listener questions on a variety of topics including the bible, woodchucks, and Godzilla are answered here.
In the first half of the book of Joshua we learn that Yahweh will clear the Promised Land personally but then makes the Israelites do it all themselves. Joshua gives Yahweh orders, which the Lord obeys, and we finally get an answer to that age-old question: Can a god be defeated by iron chariots?
The Deuteronomic Reform was established to oust the original pantheon from the Jerusalem Temple and the book of Deuteronomy created to justify the transition from a polytheism to monotheism. But that's not all. According to this book, Yahweh has a dad, the Israelites didn't wander for 40 years, and Yahweh will force some people to eat their own babies.
In the second half of the Book of Numbers we encounter angel snakes, pagan idols, talking donkeys, magic smoke, genocide, and a group of priests with the power to awaken Leviathan. RELEASE THE KRAKEN!
After receiving the law code in Leviticus, Yahweh sends his favorite people toward the promised land... and then tries to kill them every step of the way. Oh, and there are giant demigods as well.
The entire (boring) book of Leviticus in a single episode recorded inside a Christian chapel in Portage, Wisconsin. Can Yahweh count to 6? Are bats a type of bird? Do rabbits chew cud? Is it worse to sleep with your cousin or your sister? What the heck is "Alien Fire"? Yahweh answers your most important questions that you never thought to ask.
Remember when Yahweh built a golden calf and then punished the people for it? Wait, you thought it was the people who made the calf? Better go back and read that chapter again. And also catch up on the Moses with horns, the flesh hooks, some child sacrifice, and the intrusion of Egyptian mystery cults into Yahweh worship. And absolutely zero talk about how Moses is similar to Dionysus.
What are we allowed to do? What must we never do? Well we can never cook a young goat in its mother's milk, that's for certain but slavery is still kosher. As for the rest, it's all here in this episode. All the rules that are part of Yahweh's covenant with Israel including the second draft that drifts into strange waters.
You asked, I answered. God, the Devil, Santa, Dating Sims, and a little girl lost in the woods.
Pack your bags and grab your unleavened bread, we're departing the land of plenty and marching into the land where people die of dehydration and starvation. But never fear, our Lord is here! He'll give us everything we need, provided we don't upset him in any way. Then he might kill us horribly.
It's time for Passover. Grab your goats, don't leaven the bread, and spatter some blood about to protect your children from death deities. Oh, and there might be some divine cannibalism involved.
It's a god eat god world out there and I'm wearing unleavened bread underwear... or something like that.
Yahweh sets up Pharaoh for failure and even refuses to allow the Israelites to be freed so he can enact his master plan which includes turning all the dirt in the world into lice, turning all the water into blood (except for the water that was overlooked), and worst of all... FROGS!
Mosessss... just killed a man.
Put a rock upside his head.
Buried in the sand and now he's dead.
If you want to build a Jewish lawgiver, you'll need one part Akkadian king, a Babylonian conqueror, a pinch of Egyptian miracles, two pounds of Semitic invaders, and a touch of Egyptian monotheism. Mix well and bake for several centuries until golden-calf brown... or until people believe it's true. Let cool and serve on two stone tablets.
No less than three earlier works are plagiarized to bring you this tale of Joseph, the Israelite who uses Priest of Anubis divining methods and dream interpretation to convince Pharaoh to store grain in Ben Carson's pyramids.
What would happen if a bronze age goat herder got into a bare-knuckle fight with God Almighty? Anything goes, including shots to the groin.
Who do you think would win?
The answer is in the coolest bible story that Sunday school never taught you.
In which the second patriarch narrowly escapes death, has an arranged marriage with his cousin, passes his wife off as his sister, and the phrase "Yakuza Pinky Swear" appears.
Let's (almost) sacrifice some children! But not just any children, our own children. This wraps up the three episode mini-series on Abraham.
Continuing the story of Judaism's first patriarch we follow Abe on through strange adventures through a disappointing promised land, running a con on the Pharaoh, selling his wife to a harem and more.
He sleeps with his sister, rapes slaves, hears voices, tries to murder children, and has lunch with deities. He's not some cliche villain, but the founder of Judaism.
Oh, and his story is a complete fabrication.
A drunk, naked Noah gets castrated and everyone gets their own city and their own language... then they all get new languages again!
What does maple syrup and the blood of Jesus have in common? Neither can cure meningitis.
What does an Australian guy living in Kentucky and a mythical immortal from Iraq have in common?
They both believe that all life on earth can fit in a little wooden boat built by hand in the Bronze Age.
Is there evidence of such a thing? Sure. But the evidence might not point where you think.
So Eve may have been created from Adam's penis, Yahweh played favorites with Cain and Abel for no apparent reason, and then Yahweh's children (a bunch of younger gods) came down to earth and had sex with women to create a race of demigods called the Nephilim.
- I stopped counting at 38. That's how many gods I found in the bible but there may be more. And if that's not bad enough apparently Yahweh has a dad named El who gave him the land of Israel and he even has a wife. A wife! But at least he named his own messiah. It's some Persian guy.
A look into the mythological and historical inspirations behind the divine garden, man's fall from grace, and the expulsion from Eden. Where was Eden? What was the forbidden knowledge? Was Satan involved? Do other religions have this same story? All these questions and more are addressed in this episode.
Are Genesis chapter 1 (the 6 day creation story) and Genesis chapter 2 (Garden of Eden story) part of the same narrative? Were they even written at the same time? Were the inspired by earlier stories? If so, where did those stories come from?
An introduction to Dragons in Genesis explaining how we will examine the contents of the bible and analyze it's mythological roots.