Parenting The Adlerian Way: Recent Episodes
Alyson Schafer
Join internationally acclaimed parenting expert Alyson Schafer every Monday as she answers your parenting questions. Without judgement and backed with easily understandable theory and research, she’ll offer up actionable solutions you can implement immediately. Alyson puts the “sense" back into "common sense parenting" with her warm, inspiring and informed Adlerian approach. Alyson is the author of three best selling parenting books with HarperCollinsCanada including; “Breaking The Good Mom Myth” “Honey, I Wrecked The Kids” and Ain't Misbehavin’” and the go-to expert for national media outlets.Send Alyson your parenting question to alyson@alysonschafer.com with #AskAlyson in the subject line or to @alysonschafer on any of her social media platforms. Questions will be answered anonymously.
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Q1. Nanny wants to respond properly to a 2yr old’s large emotional displays.
Q2. 7yr old still needs a parent laying down with her to fall asleep – and this can take hours!
Q3. 7yr old behaves at school but is kicking, hitting, swearing, and taunting brother at home.
Q4. How to teach my 5 1/2yr old to be more co-operative and less bossy.
Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the #1 parenting podcast in Canada!
Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.
Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
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Dr. Shonna Masse has been practicing dentistry for 27 years. She is a board-certified paediatric dentist and is the founder of The Children’s Dental Centre and The Orthodontic Dental Centre, in Toronto, Ontario. In this episode I learned the difference between pediatric and family dentistry. The distinction is important, and her additional qualifications means she is armed with the best approaches for working with children. We talked about preparing for a child’s first appointment, how to handle resistance, weaning off pacifiers, the surprising worst foods for cavities, parent guilt and much more!
Dr Shonna Masse’s practices are:
The Children’s Dental Centre
The Orthodontic Dental Centre
Follow The Children’s Dental Centre on IG @TheChildrensDentalCentre
Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the #1 parenting podcast in Canada!
Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf.
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Former pediatric occupational therapist Lisa Chan learned a great deal from her years working with children in schools, homes and in her office. During that time, she saw a gap in the services available. While she would offer important help to children, it was more likely the teachers and parents who were the “first responders”, and they did not always know how to respond to these children’s unique needs. Lisa solved that by turning her attention to education and skills training for the adults that nurture and support these children.
You can follow Lisa Chan on all her social media platforms @lisaparentcoach
Her website for her courses and coaching is www.TheLisaChan
Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the #1 parenting podcast in Canada!
Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf.
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Q1. 4yr old insists that all the Easter candy is hers to eat. How to manage the deluge of sweets?
Q2. Adult child moved back home but spends his day gaming. A tech agreement isn’t age appropriate now. What else can we do as parents?
Q3. My daughter wants a pet but is irresponsible, so I have said no, and it’s now a fight.
Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the #1 parenting podcast in Canada!
Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.
Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
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Kyla Fox is an eating disorder specialist, survivor and advocate who reframes the way that we think about, and treat, eating disorders. As someone who struggled with disordered eating during her teen years, Kyla experienced the large care gaps and fundamental flaws in the treatment and recovery approach that prevents patients from getting the help that they need. Listen in as we discuss what parents need to know to address this issue in their families.
Checkout the services provided at the Kyla Fox Center
IG: @kylafoxrecovery
Twitter: @KylaFoxCentre
Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf.
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It was wonderful to have Ned Johnson back on the podcast to talk about his new workbook for parents. This is a companion book to “The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives”. We discuss the importance of having control as a protective factor in preventing youth mental health challenges, especially with anxiety and depression.
Here are links to Ned Johnson and William Stixrud’s other co-authored books:
The Seven Principles for Raising Self-Driven Children – A Workbook
The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives
What Do You Say? How To Talk With Kids To Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home.
You can follow Ned’s Fabulous advice on his IG and Tik Tok:
@theothernedjohnson
And on LinkedIn here.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf.
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Q1. Anxious about letting my 12yr old daughter walk home from school alone.
Q2. Considerations for allowing 17 yr old daughter to go on a beach vacation without supervision?
Q3. Helping a hurting 13yr old girl who told a boy she likes him and then all her friends turned on her.
Q4. Small-for-his-age 8yr old might get hurt playing hockey. Should I encourage a different sport?
If you have a question you’d like answered on a future podcast, email it to hello@alysonschafer.com
Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
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It’s not every day that you get to interview the former editor of the New York Times parenting section! I have been following KJ Dell’Antonia since she managed Motherlode and it was great meeting her finally, and discussing her book, “How To Be a Happier Parent”. KJ generously provided some of the research and practical wisdom that every parent can benefit from if they want to be happier while they do the inevitable hard work of parenting.
If you’d like to read one of KJ’s books, here are the links!
How to Be a Happier Parent: https://tinyurl.com/HappierParentBookAmazon
The Chicken Sisters: https://tinyurl.com/ChickenSistersAmazon
Playing the Witch Card: https://tinyurl.com/WitchCardAmazon
In Her Boots: https://tinyurl.com/InHerBootsAmazon
Substack #AmReading: https://kjda.substack.com/
KJ’s website https://kjdellantonia.com/
Instagram: @kjda https://www.instagram.com/kjda/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kjdellantonia
The #AmWriting Podcast: https://itun.es/i67F2zJ
or http://amwritingpodcast.com
Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer on an upcoming Q&A podcast.
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf.
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I met Nick Moon in Nepal on a recent service / trekking trip in support of the NGO “Empowering Nepali Girls”. Over our time together I learned about Nick’s childhood diagnosis of autism and how the education system failed him, how a special teacher finally understood him, and a mother who was also a counsellor advocated for him. He was a marine, a tradesman and now a counsellor in practice sharing his wisdom with clients. A gem of a person who shared his experience about living life with neurodiversity. An enlightening conversation!
You can get a copy of Nick Moon’s mother’s book “Tough and Cheerful: The Life And Times Of Kancha Sherpa, Last Living Member From The First Ascent Of Mount Everest” by Patricia Moon here.
Learn more about the organization, Empowering Nepali Girls.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer on an upcoming Q&A podcast.
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf.
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Q1. 12yr old girl who has become super-quiet. What to do?
Q2. My teen doesn’t want to join any clubs, do I force him?
Q3. My son says he is trying to find a job, but not really. Do I cut off his allowance?
Q4. My kids leave their stuff laying around and I nag but they never pick it up.
Looking for more Adlerian wisdom? Check out The Daily Adler Newsletter
If you have a question you’d like answered on a future podcast, email it to hello@alysonschafer.com
Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
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In this episode, I talk with James Rilling, psychologist and author of “Father Nature: The Science of Paternal Potential”. Did you know that only five percent of mammals care for their young? Yup, and humans are one of the species that do! James explains the science behind testosterone, oxytocin and changes that occur for fathers. Plus, the importance of father caregiving and provisioning and the hidden benefits of rough play to teach emotional regulation and more! A fascinating conversation.
You can get a copy of James Rilling’s book here.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer on an upcoming Q&A podcast.
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf.
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Rocky Garrison is one of our Adlerian greats. In this interview Rocky talks about the Individual Psychology model of human development including the development of a fictional final goal and how we develop beliefs about self, others, and the world to sustain this goal and the movement toward it. In this model of development, Rocky shares that the courage to meet the challenges of life constructively is developed primarily within the family constellation.
If you have questions for Rocky, he can be reached at rockygarrison@gmail.com
Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer on an upcoming Q&A podcast.
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf.
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Q1. Teen boy is shutting down outside interests and turning to tech but won’t open up about it.
Q2. 13yr old daughter won’t wear her orthodontic elastics and teeth are shifting now.
Q3. Ways for 3 and 5 year olds to find their sense of power in pro-social ways (instead of power over others).
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email them to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer on an upcoming Q&A podcast.
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com to receive my “Home Responsibilities By Age” checklist! And, check out the “Events” tab for my upcoming webinars!
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Sarah Allen Benton has been a parent in recovery from alcoholism for more than 20 years. She is a counselling psychologist who specializes in addiction and recognizes how parents and their children can quietly but significantly be impacted by alcoholism. We discuss her “field guide to recovery” for parents that is based on a growth-focused lifestyle change, including emotional sobriety across the life span.
Check out Sarah Benton’s book: Understanding The High-Functioning Alcoholic
Have a look at her website too.
You can read Sarah’s column “The High Functioning Alcoholic” for Psychology Today here.
On social media you can follow Sarah on these platforms:
Sarah’s FB Page
Sarah’s FB Community: Parents in Recovery Support Group
Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer on an upcoming Q&A podcast.
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf.
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Q1. Teen boy makes the same unreasonable requests and then storms about, rude and angry.
Q2. How to establish authority and connection when you are the less dominant parent in a traditional family where the dominant father works, and the less dominant mother stays home and does all the child care.
Q3. How can I help my 10 and 13 year old boys get along peacefully?
Q4. How to support a teen daughter who is getting excluded from her friends’ parties and sleepovers?
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email them to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer on an upcoming Q&A podcast.
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com to receive my “Home Responsibilities By Age” checklist! And, check out the “Events” tab for my upcoming webinars!
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Dr Funke Afolabi-Brown has dedicated her medical career to helping families function better and achieve more by improving their relationship to sleep. We discuss the importance of sleep and unique approaches to help with typical sleep challenges that parents face.
Check out more about Dr Funke Afolabi-Brown’s book “Beyond Tired: A Sleep Physicians Guide to Solving Your Child’s Sleep Problems for Good”
Her clinical practice is The Restful Sleep Place and you can follow her on any of these social media platforms:
Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer on an upcoming Q&A podcast.
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf.
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Yes! That is the title of the new book by Ruth Strunz, a welcome addition to the literature for clinicians, teachers (and parents) working with autistic / neurodiverse people. In this episode I talk to Ruth about the contents of her book and the unique approaches needed for creating a an atmosphere of calm to reduce dysregulation, masking, creating a therapeutic alliance in new ways, the role of belonging, social interest, encouragement and more.
You can connect to Ruth at her website www.ruthstrunz.com (launching Nov 2024)
Purchase her book here
On LinkedIn here
Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer on an upcoming Q&A podcast.
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf.
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Q1. 12yr old doesn’t want to either lie, nor rat on her friends to the substitute teacher re: homework.
Q2. 9yr old wants to drop out of extracurricular activities as soon as they prove challenging.
Q3. Early reader wants to go back and start from the beginning of the book every time they get a word wrong.
Q4. 12yr daughter doesn’t do basic chores without me yelling. Too involved in her games and videos.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email them to hello@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com to receive my “Home Responsibilities By Age” checklist! And, check out the “Events” tab for my upcoming webinars!
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October is breast cancer awareness month. A parent’s cancer diagnosis has a huge impact on the entire family. Thankfully, Audrey saw this gap in services and support and created a brilliant non-profit organization to assist parents and children going through this experience.
Audrey discusses how to talk to children about cancer and dying. She helps us understand what families need for support as community members and the services that her organization provides.
You can learn more about Audrey and Nankind at the links below:
Nankind Website:
https://nankind.com/
Nankind Give Page:
https://nankind.com/give/
Nankind Programs:
https://nankind.com/for-families/get-help
Nankind Impact Page:
https://nankind.com/our-impact/research-awards/
On social media:
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/NankindCanada
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/company/nankind
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/nankindca/
Twitter - https://x.com/nankindca
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@nankind
Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it in to hello@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
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Julie Cole is the mother of 6 and the co-founder of the multiple award-winning business Mabel’s Labels.
In this episode we discuss Julie’s career and family success and the parallel skills and life hacks needed to make them both work in a joyful way. If you’re thinking of starting a business to accommodate motherhood, this is a must listen!
You can find out more about Julie, her book, “Like A Mother: Birthing Businesses, Babies And A Life Beyond Labels”, and Mabel’s Labels at the links below:
www.mabelslabels.com
www.mabelslabels.com/juliecole
On Social Media:
www.instagram.com/juliecoleinc
www.instagram.com/mabelslabels
https://www.linkedin.com/in/julie-cole-llb-ma-3794671/
Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it in to hello@alysonschafer.com
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In this episode I talk to the co-authors of the book, “Digging Into Nature: Outdoor Adventures For Happier And Healthier Kids”, published by the American Academy of Pediatrics and co-authored by pediatricians Dr Glassy and Dr Tandon.
We discuss Dr Tandon’s extensive research into the benefits children get from spending time in nature, what nature might look like for urban dwellers, barriers that prevent us from getting into nature and how to overcome them.
You can find out more about Drs Tandon and Glassy, and their work and projects at the links below:
Order their book here: “Digging Into Nature: Outdoor Adventures for Happier Healthier Kids”
Dr Glassy
On LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/danette-glassy-12b00067/
Project Nature
BestStart Washington
Dr Tandon
On Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/pooja-s-tandon-md-mph-672040299/
IG @projectnature
Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it in to hello@alysonschafer.com
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This is a vital episode for all parents. Listen and learn how to get all the education, resources and support you can for your child’s vision thanks to The Canadian National Institute for the Blind. CNIB’s VP Suzanne Decary-van den Broek and CNIB’s Family Guide, Sharon Kanhai-Johnston share some interesting research facts with me. Did you know most parents are unwittingly putting their children at risk for health and educational setbacks because they don’t understand the schedule and importance of eye exams for their children? I messed it up with my second child and I don’t want anyone else to make my mistake.
Book an eye exam for your child. If you’re in Canada, you can find your local optometrist here.
Help influence policy makers today by signing the CNIB’s Charter of Rights of Children Who are Blind, Deafblind, or Low Vision here.
Find resources, support and education from the CNIB here.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it in to hello@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
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Q1. My child is not in a class with his friends. Should I request to move him?
Q2. My child suffers from “post-school collapse” behaviours.
Q3. Managing being punctual and getting to school on time.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email them to hello@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and check out the “Events” tab for my upcoming webinars!
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NYT best-selling author Dr Leonard Sax joins the podcast to discuss his book, and to make us aware of the toxic effects the trend towards more gentle, permissive parenting can have on our kids. In our conversation, he provides many evidence-based examples to support his years of observations as a physician managing family care.
Check out Dr Sax here at www.leonardsax.com
Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it in to hello@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
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Stacey Stewart, the CEO of Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD), talks with me about the impact that our parenting style has on saving lives by the way we approach prevention of drinking and driving. MADD has created a free, evidence-based, resource to help parents apply the best approach – download it here:
Power of Parents Handbook
https://online.flippingbook.com/view/320259548/
MADD’s Social Media:
https://www.instagram.com/maddnational/MADD
https://www.tiktok.com/@maddnational
https://x.com/MADDNational
https://www.linkedin.com/company/mothers-against-drunk-driving
You can find Stacey on social media here:
https://www.instagram.com/staceydstewart/
X: @StaceyDStew
https://www.linkedin.com/in/stacey-d-stewart-mba-9b5472
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Q1. How to respond to the dramatic emotional displays of my son?
Q2. Strategies to give my son more responsibilities when he is not following through?
Q3. As a mom, how do I stay out of the power struggles between dad and son when it impacts me?
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email them to hello@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
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Join me as I talk to family relations expert Dr. Taniesha Burke from Germany about the importance of parent-child relationships, how to foster them and the importance of understanding culture and meaning-making. Originally from Kingston, Jamaica, with its’ more hierarchical, autocratic parenting style, Dr. Burke studied and discusses how Jamaican mothers perceive closeness and intimacy and how they deal with their children who resist parental rules and requests.
You can purchase her journals here:
The Parenting Journal: Key To Strengthening Your Parent-Child Relationship
Rediscovering Our Love: A Parental Appreciation Journal
Journal of Generations: A Gift From Grandparent To Grandchild
Dr. Burke’s research:
An Exploration of Jamaican Mothers’ Perceptions of Closeness and Intimacy in the Mother–Child Relationship during Middle Childhood
Jamaican Mothers’ Perceptions of Children’s Strategies for Resisting Parental Rules and Requests
Links to Dr Burke’s social media handles:
www.facebook.com/drtanieshaburke
www.instagram.com/drtanieshaburke
www.youtube.com/@drtanieshaburke
www.linkedin.com/in/tanieshaburke
I am always looking for questions for the Q&A episodes. You can send me your questions at hello@alysonschafer.com
For more of my advice, check out my website: www.alysonschafer.com
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Mollie Thorn has been teaching parent education and also counselling families for decades. Mollie is now a proud grandparent and that means yet another application of Adlerian wisdom! She discusses the Pennsylvania Dutch expression “Grin, Bite Your Tongue and Bear Gifts” to describe best grandparenting practices. We talk about Mollie and her husband Phil’s journey with Adlerian psychology over the years.
You can find more about Mollie Thorn’s work at The Pinnacle Centre.
Her profile on Psychology Today
You can email Mollie directly at mollie.thorn@gmail.com
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Q1. 12 year old boy doesn’t play, but instead annoys and bothers others.
Q2. 5 year old in kindergarten has a friend who says “you’re not my friend” if they don’t get their way.
Check out The Common Good Collaborative for Teachers and Educators
www.thecommongoodcollaborative.com
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
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Having kids invites a host of other problems into the martial relationship if they are not addressed properly. Unfair division of labour, feeling unappreciated, changes in intimacy levels, a drop in the fun experienced together, power imbalances, and more can plague a relationship. The good news is these issues are an invitation to dig deeper and grow together. Join Adlerian marriage counsellors Calvin Armerding and his business partner Lindsay Hill for more insights into kid-proofing your marriage.
Follow Calvin on his Substack channel here:
https://calvindarmerding.substack.com/
Follow Calvin and Lindsay on social media:
https://www.instagram.com/henosispress/ https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLe4ACV00vWcS3DTATvos1XVm2MhTKSq2Z https://www.instagram.com/travelersrest.counseling/ https://twitter.com/ArmerdingC
I am always looking for questions for the Q&A episodes. You can send me your questions at hello@alysonschafer.com
For more of my advice, check out my website: www.alysonschafer.com
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In this special episode, I speak with Fabiana Bacchini, the Executive Director for The Canadian Premature Babies Foundation (CPBF) about the difficult challenges a family faces when having a premature birth, and the tremendous support their organization provides. We discuss a very important campaign that is underway to support their work.
In partnership with Walmart Canada®, Pampers® Canada will donate 8 cents to the CPBF and Préma-Québec for every Pampers® Swaddlers diaper pack and for every pack of Pampers® Sensitive Wipes sold at Walmart from May 1 to June 30, 2024.
This funding will go towards support programs for families of premature babies, including mental health and wellness resources.
For more information about CPBF’s support programs, visit: www.canadianpreemies.org
For more information about Préma-Québec’s support programs, visit: www.premaquebec.ca
Those who would like to donate to the CPBF and Préma-Québec through this initiative can purchase Pampers® Swaddlers diaper packs and Sensitive Wipes in store at any Walmart location in Canada.
For more information, please visit pampers.ca.
I am always looking for questions for the Q&A episodes. You can send me your questions at hello@alysonschafer.com
For more of my advice, check out my website: www.alysonschafer.com
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Meaghan Haley discusses her journey from a trauma-filled childhood that led her to seek out support from an Adlerian counsellor, to becoming an Adlerian therapist and teacher herself. Now she is the mother of three young children (ages 5, 2.5 and 1) and she is being challenged to practice what she has learned in a whole new way. If you worry about being a “good enough” mom, give this a listen!
Check out Meaghan here at www.megtherapy.com
Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it in to hello@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
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Q1. 6th grade girl is the target of a mean “best friend”.
Q2. My kids live in a two-household arrangement, and the other home doesn’t have structure.
Q3. 16yr old daughter changed schools halfway through the school year and while she has a couple of new friends, she still stays in room and is lonely.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
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Q1. How do we talk to our kids about racism and the George Floyd riots?
Q2. My son saw the video of George Floyd’s murder. How do I help him process his emotions?
Q3. What can I do as a white parent to ensure I don’t raise a racist and do my part to eradicate racism?
Do you have a parenting question for me? Submit it to hello@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
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Q1. How do I get my 12 yr old son who has become moody, to open up and talk to me about what is wrong?
Q2. My kids are starting to play on the street with social distancing rules, but I don’t trust them to actually keep their distance. What do I do?
Q3. My 8 year old son is exhibiting anxiety in going out in public now that more things are opening up. How do I help him?
Q4. The whole family has become snappy and I am yelling more. Everything is a battle. How do I get my family back on track?
Do you have a parenting question for me? Submit it to hello@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
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Q1. I am using your Adlerian parenting approaches but my husband has not studied them yet. How can I manage our different parenting styles?
Q2. I am trying your techniques on ignoring when the kids fight and just walking away, but they follow me or they get physical with one another. What do I do?
Q3. My kids are using Zoom calls to stay connected with friends but when I check they were being disrespectful and just watching a friend play instead of visiting with one another.
Q4. My daughter is using tech to stay connected with her friends more since Covid. Now that they are all online, they are excluding my daughter on FaceTime group chats like “mean girls”.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Submit it to hello@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
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Alyson’s thoughts on education and homeschooling during Covid.
Q1. My daughter struggles with math and says “I’m stupid”. How do I get her to do her online math homework without a fight?
Q2. My son does his homeschooling online in the morning from his bedroom, but when I check on him, he is on YouTube. How do I get him to do schoolwork without policing?
Q3. (24:24) My son won’t sit still to do his homework. He gets up and down and it ends up taking him twice as long.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Submit it to hello@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
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Q1. 2 yr old competitive dancer has gained a lot of weight during the pandemic and I want to bring this up to her properly, and in a healthy way.
Q2. 2.5 yr old has lost interest in potty training. How do I motivate them?
Q3. 7 yr old loves our new puppy but refuses to follow the rules and be gentle. What should I do?
Q4. 8 yr old is loud and shrieks all the time. How do I get this to stop? I have tried everything.
Alyson’s blogs on the topic of encouragement:
https://alysonschafer.com/category/best-parenting-practices/praise-encouragement/
Do you have a parenting question for me? Submit it to hello@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
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Q1. What are the consequences for a 12 yr old daughter who is mean to her 9 yr old brother?
Q2. When is it okay to swear? My 13 year old just started.
Q3. Help in bringing back and improving family meetings now that they are teenagers.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Submit it to hello@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
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Q1. Attached toddler won’t let mom out of her sight in the house.
Q2. 6 year old still soiling underpants.
Q3. How to deal with lying.
Link to Po Bronson’s Article on lying research: https://nymag.com/news/features/43893/
Do you have a parenting question for me? Submit it to hello@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Home Responsibilities By Age” download.
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Q1. I’m trying to work from home, but I am getting nothing done with the kids at home. HELP.
Q2. My kids keep coming into my home office and interrupting my work.
Q3. What is it with being on a phone call? As soon as I take a call my kids demand my attention.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Submit it to hello@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
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Q1. How do I explain COVID and the pandemic to my kids?
Q2. How do I entertain my kids all day long during lock down?
Q3. How can I get my child to just settle and focus?
Do you have a parenting question for me? Submit it to hello@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
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I am so excited to be launching this podcast. In this intro episode, I explain my Adlerian family history and some of the core concepts of Adlerian psychology from which I give parenting advice. So glad to have you onboard. Please feel free to share with your friends, subscribe and write a review!
Happy Parenting
Alyson
www.alysonschafer.com
Do you have a parenting question for me? Submit it to hello@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
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Dr. Mike Rucker is the author of “The Fun Habit”. In this episode we’ll discuss the concept of happiness, the moral injury that can occur when we seek it too much and the benefits and methods for fitting joy and awe into your life and through your parenting.
Additional resource book mentioned in our convo: 50 Dangerous Things (you should let your children do)
Follow Dr. Rucker on all his platforms:
Website https://michaelrucker.com
Twitter https://twitter.com/performbetter
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/mike.rucker.phd
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thewonderoffun
LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelrucker
Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/mikeruckerphd
Simon & Schuster https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Fun-Habit/Mike-Rucker/9781982159054
Substack https://funhabit.substack.com
I am always looking for questions for the Q&A episodes. You can send me your questions at hello@alysonschafer.com
For more of my advice, check out my website at: www.alysonschafer.com
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Could AI replace standard counselling? It’s certainly cheaper. With the trend towards “manualizing” therapy, maybe we are closer than we know. How do you feel about that? How scared should we be? Adlerian counsellor and teacher/trainer, Calvin Armerding, shares his thoughts with me.
Read the original article and other posts from Calvin on his Substack at:
https://calvindarmerding.substack.com/
Follow Calvin on social media at:
https://www.instagram.com/henosispress/ https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLe4ACV00vWcS3DTATvos1XVm2MhTKSq2Z https://www.instagram.com/travelersrest.counseling/ https://twitter.com/ArmerdingC
I am always looking for questions for the Q&A episodes. You can send me your questions at hello@alysonschafer.com
For more of my advice, check out my website: www.alysonschafer.com
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Q1. 9yr old son is not trying and his confidence is dwindling.
Q2. 14yr old son with type1 diabetes is too lazy to take his insulin at school.
Looking for more Adlerian wisdom? Check out The Daily Adler Newsletter and The Daily Adler Podcast.
If you have a question you’d like answered on a future podcast, email me at hello@alysonschafer.com
Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
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Dr. Amanda Craig is the author of “Who Are You And What Have You Done With My Kid?: Connect With Your Tween While They Are Still Listening”. In this episode, Dr Craig defines what the tween years are, what is happening developmentally and how to maximize the parenting opportunities during this unique period. She also discusses the important four pillars of your parenting to focus on and methods to achieve that stable base in the relationship.
Links mentioned in the show:
Book: Who Are You And What Have You Done With My Kid?: Connect With Your Tween While They Are Still Listening
Dr Amanda Craig’s Website
Follow Dr Amanda Craig on social media at IG @amandacraigphd
I am always looking for question for the Q&A episodes. You can send me your questions at hello@alysonschafer.com
For more of my advice, check out my website: www.alysonschafer.com
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Amy Yip is the author of “Unfinished Business” and in this interview we talk about her personal journey of being a child of immigrant parents and how that experience impacted her life. She discusses how she took charge of the process of changing the relationship with her parents and how that informs her parenting today. For anyone dealing with wounded relationships with their parents, or who wants better for their own children, this is the podcast for you!
Links mentioned in the show:
Amy’s book: Unfinished Business
http://unfinishedbusinessbook.com/,
Amy’s Website
https://amyyipcoaching.com/
Follow Amy on social media
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amycyip & https://www.facebook.com/amyyipcoaching
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amycyip &
https://www.linkedin.com/company/amyyipcoaching
Instagram: @amyyipcoaching
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Q1. 10yr old son having difficulty with change (new items in home).
Plus, my thoughts on under- and over-functioning parenting.
Looking for more Adlerian wisdom? Check out The Daily Adler Newsletter and The Daily Adler Podcast.
If you have a question you’d like answered on a future podcast, email me at hello@alysonschafer.com
Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
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Jenna Hermans has used her own extensive training and personal parenting experience to write a book for overwhelmed parents. In this podcast Jenna shares her story and gives us the highlights of the 5 tips we should all incorporate into our family lives for more calm in 2024.
Links mentioned in the show:
On IG @Jennazhermans
Website https://jennahermans.com
Buy her book at a local book seller or online here: From Chaos to Calm
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Dr Marina Bluvshtein is a renowned researcher and archivist of Adler’s life. She shares how the events of his life shaped the development of his theory we know as Individual Psychology. In this conversation, Marina shares Adler’s own parenting journey and how his theory, and that of Rudolf Dreikurs, came together to still be an evolving, optimistic parenting model.
Links mentioned in the show:
Learn more about the Adlerian Summer School known as ICASSI
Check out the offerings at the Adler Academy of Minnesota
And write directly to Dr Bluvshtein at mbluvshtein@adler.edu to learn more about Adlerian training events in Chicago, Vancouver and online.
On social media, you can find Dr Bluvshtein on FB.
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Q1. 6 year old hits and gets angry when he doesn’t get his way
Q2. 7 year old tells “creative stories” about how his day was (aka lying).
Q3. 2.5 year old is defiant with screaming fits esp on waking in the night.
Looking for more Adlerian wisdom? Check out The Daily Adler Newsletter and The Daily Adler Podcast.
If you have a question you’d like answered on a future podcast, email me at hello@alysonschafer.com
Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
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The Adlerian father/daughter duo Ted Wohlfarth and Marjie Longshore talk about their impressive work in using games and play to create unique experiences for developing the skills and felt experiences needed to help build peaceful, win-win relationships. You’ll hear how their game methods and unique scoring system can be useful at home, in the classroom, the workplace and indeed anywhere people gather.
Check out The Family Leadership Center website
And social media
FB
Or on IG @the_4cfamily
If you would like to support the work of The Family Leadership Center which is a non-profit organization, you can donate to their “A Peaceful World Starts At Home” campaign that furthers their work.
Check out the free games and resources at EnTeam’s website
Here is the summary of some of EnTeam’s corporate success stories:
https://familyleadershipcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Manufacturing-Plant-Turnaround.pdf
https://familyleadershipcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/International-Pharmaceutical-Company-.pdf
https://familyleadershipcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Electric-Power-Plant-Teamwork.pdf
And follow EnTeams on social media
FB
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How much do you know about AI? Are you prepared to talk to your kids about it? How will it impact them? How do you respond when the school emails you to share that your child plagiarized a paper using AI? Thankfully, Adlerian Valerie Tih of JoyFULL Coaching has the answer parents are looking for!
FREE Download: Top 10 Tips for Navigating AI with your Child
https://mailchi.mp/a04b5ed1d560/alyson
Enneagram course:
https://joyfullcoaching.ca/the-enneagram-unplugged-course/
Use code “Alyson” for 20% off
Enneagram Discovery Package:
https://joyfullcoaching.ca/coaching/
https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/enneagram-discover-package-tickets-644373918737?aff=oddtdtcreator
Use code “Alyson” for 20% off
Follow Val and JoyFULL Coaching on social here:
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/JoyfullCoaching
IG https://www.instagram.com/joyfullcoaching/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/valerietih/
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Q1. Kindergartener doesn’t want to go to school and explodes.
Q2. Even with all the Adlerian approaches, 10 and 12 yr old sisters still fight.
Looking for more Adlerian wisdom? Check out The Daily Adler Newsletter and The Daily Adler Podcast.
If you have a question you’d like answered on a future podcast, email me at hello@alysonschafer.com
Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
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I am excited to share my conversation with two-time Fulbright Scholar Sam Young M.Ed., a neurodivergent educator, as we discussed issues such as masking, the pitfalls of deficiency models and the importance of strength-based talent development.
In the podcast Sam mentioned the great Sir Kenneth Robinson TED Talk, “Do schools kill creativity?” so I am including that link here: https://youtu.be/iG9CE55wbtY?si=_bROeNrtJqEcp_kA
You can also look at the online classes and resources at Young Scholar’s Academy, the school that “Mr. Sam” runs as an adjunct to their main educational outlet.
His courses can be found here.
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Always fantastic to interview my fellow Adlerians who are creating important curriculum for the public. In this episode, I talk to Morgan Crew who is a single mother of two (ages 17 and 20), a registered nurse as well as a registered psychotherapist and mental health educator. She has created a program to help teach mental health skills in an upstream manner, rather than waiting for a crisis. It’s great for parents, but also for teens and parents to take together!
Connecting with Morgan:
Therapy practice website is www.morgancrewcounselling.ca
Email morgan@morgancrewcounselling.com
PREVAIL course can be found at: www.prevailproveyourpower.ca
email is: info@prevailproveyourpower.ca
Social media:
Facebook and LI is Morgan Crew
Instagram is @morgancrew.ca
If you like my podcast Parenting The Adlerian Way – please like, share and write a review!
Also, check out The Daily Adler e-newsletter and podcast so you can get inspirational personal development in your inbox daily!
https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/daily-adler/id1671211692
https://dailyadler.com
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Q1. 10yr old daughter claims she forgets everything and I have to remind constantly.
Q2. 16yr old is skipping 3-4 classes a week and I worry about her marks.
If you have a question for me – email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
Check out The Daily Adler Podcast too.
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What does it mean to be a “good parent” by today’s northern hemisphere, privileged standards? Good grades, good jobs, good car, and house. What if that is all wrong? What if that is actually contributing to the downfall of civilization? Dr Elizabeth Cripps, a parent herself, applied her educational training in philosophy to try to answer how we solve global problems like climate change, pandemics, antibiotic resistance, and social inequity by the way we parent and use our collective power for the good of our children but also for all. We had a great discussion about all of that, as well as her latest book, “A Philosopher’s Guide to Doing Right by Your Kids – and Everyone Else”.
Check out some of these great organizations for social action:
https://parentsforfuture.org
https://www.momscleanairforce.org
https://ourkidsclimate.org/
And keep following Dr Cripps work here:
on twitter at @ebcripps
www.elizabethcripps.weebly.com
If you enjoy my podcast, please like, share and/or write a review!
Also, check out The Daily Adler e-newsletter and podcast so you can get inspirational personal development in your inbox daily!
https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/daily-adler/id1671211692
https://dailyadler.com
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Every parent needs to be aware of the possibility that their child may have an intimate photo being distributed without their consent, and the harmful effects this causes. In this episode, I talk with British Columbia’s Attorney General, Niki Sharma, to discuss the alarming rise in sexploitation and the work she has done in B.C. to protect the rights of victims of sexual violence. Minister Sharma announced new legislation that removes the previous barriers to getting those images removed and better legal recourse for the platforms that host them.
To read a copy of the letter from the Minister’s office, visit: https://news.gov.bc.ca/files/Intimate_Images_Protection_Act_Letter.pdf
To learn more about the Intimate Images Protection Act, visit: https://gov.bc.ca/ProtectingYourImages
To read about supports available for survivors of gender-based violence, sexual assault, or domestic violence, visit: https://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/safety/public-safety/domestic-violence
To access resources and research about the online sexual exploitation of children, visit: https://cybertip.ca/en/
If you have a question for me, email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
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Q1. Help with sleep training a 20 month old the Adlerian way
Q2. Help with fostering independence in a 13 year old
Looking for more Adlerian Wisdom? Check out The Daily Adler Newsletter and The Daily Adler Podcast.
If you have a question you’d like answered on a future podcast, email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
Author and journalist Jennifer Wallace discusses the research and findings that lead to the writing of her amazing book, titled above. We discuss what conditions have created this problem, how it’s affecting both our parenting and our children… and most importantly; what we can do about it.
You can find Jennifer’s website here
Her book can be ordered here:
Check out “The Mattering Movement” here.
Follow Jennifer on IG @jenniferbwallace
If you have a question for me, email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
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Maya Payne Smart has a mission to help parents nurture, teach and advocate for children getting on the road to reading. We discuss her book “Reading For Our Lives” and why it has such a gripping title of urgency. She also spells out an action plan from birth to six on ways parents can foster literacy. In this episode we learn what the research shows about best practices and how “laps over apps” is the way to go when it comes to reading to our children. Plus, so much more! Give it a listen and share with your friends.
Maya has a great website full of free weekly resources for parents at: www.mayasmart.com
You can also get social with Maya at:
IG: @mayasmarty
Twitter: @MayaSmart
Pinterest: @mayasmart
This is one of my longer podcasts because I was intrigued with the compelling content of the discussion I had with Stéphane Deschênes, founder of the Bare Oaks Family Naturist Park and President of the International Naturist Federation. I caught up with him in Paris, France.
I learned more about the motivation behind living as naturist. Turns out it holds many Adlerian principles at its core too. We discussed the benefits for children, which is especially important given the growing rates of mental health issues for children with body image issues.
Stéphane also discusses the irrational parental fear that some parents have regarding how safe his and other parks around the world are.
A fascinating episode!
You can learn more about Bare Oaks Family Naturist Park at their website here.
And follow them on social media at:
IG @bareoaks
YouTube BareOaks
Q1. Discovered my 13yr old is texting with a girl who says she is cutting.
Q2. Stepmom of 10yr old looking for support for dealing with parental alienation.
Q3. Do you have a podcast with the whole parenting theory?
Q4. Nanny of 2yr old & 3 mo old asks how to help Dad who is now losing sleep as the once trained 2 year old is waking again in the night.
Q4. Nanny of 2 yr old asks for help with transitions that lead to anger and throwing items.
Resources from this episode:
Check out Jamie Scrimgeour’s work with step parenting
Book on Parental Alienation: Parenting With A Toxic Ex
Details and registration for Alyson’s Webinar “School Readiness – Utilizing the Summer to Prepare for School”
If you have a question for me – email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
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In this episode I talk to Rachael Katz, author of the book “The Emotionally Intelligent Child”. We discuss the importance of understanding the developmental continuum our children are on as they learn social and emotional intelligence, as well as activities to help them develop in these areas. Rachael introduces her MIND framework, which stands for Mindfulness, Inquiry, Non-Judgmental, Decide as tools and skills to develop as we tackle the bigger skill of parenting.
Buy Rachael’s book here:
https://www.amazon.com/Emotionally-Intelligent-Child-Cooperative-Well-Balanced/dp/1684038154
More details on the book from the publisher New Harbinger Press:
https://www.newharbinger.com/9781684038152/the-emotionally-intelligent-child/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAw8OeBhCeARIsAGxWtUyu6qhtnC2ModrhlWY8b3Bo3eYJEnlmDu0_scv-fZNeFLfWdk1A1pEaAr5vEALw_wcB
Send any questions or comments to Rachael on LinkedIn at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachael-katz/
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Psychologist Dr Vanessa Lapointe discusses the recent stats on the negative effects of social media on our youth’s mental health. We also discuss the film “The Cost Of Beauty” - a 3 minute heart-wrencher of a documentary about a mother and daughter ‘s journey of how social media created a deadly eating disorder. Dr Lapointe discusses Dove’s Self Esteem Project and their latest project to encourage parents to petition for changes to the Kids Online Safety Act to put youth mental health ahead of profits.
You can find the movie, The Cost of Beauty, and the petition form, youth mental health hubs here: https://www.dove.com/ca/en/stories/campaigns/kids-online-safety.html
Download the confidence kit here:
https://www.dove.com/ca/en/dove-self-esteem-project/help-for-parents.html
More about Dr Vanessa LaPointe here:
https://drvanessalapointe.com
If you like my podcast Parenting The Adlerian Way – please like, share and write a review!
Also, check out The Daily Adler e-newsletter and podcast so you can get inspirational personal development in your inbox daily!
https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/daily-adler/id1671211692
https://dailyadler.com
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Sue Groner is a certified Positive Discipline parent educator and the author of “Parenting with Sanity & Joy: 101 Simple Strategies”, as well as creator of the CLEARR™ method of parenting. In this episode, Sue talks about her parenting model and also gives very clear examples for screen time, school lunches, clean rooms, healthy eating and more.
Parents can visit her website to receive 5 tips for Parenting with Sanity and Joy – Now!
Her Podcast is The Parenting Mentor Sessions Podcast (anywhere you get your podcasts).
Her book “Parenting with Sanity & Joy: 101 Simple Strategies”.
And, here’s where you can find Sue:
https://theparentingmentor.com
https://www.instagram.com/theparentingmentor/
https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingmentor
https://twitter.com/ParentMentoring
https://www.facebook.com/theparentingmentor1
https://www.linkedin.com/in/susan-g-groner-09aa395/
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Q1. Daughter talks like a “mean girl” to her sister. Will she talk to everyone like that?
In this episode I also discuss a common parenting trend I see: The gridlock between parent and teen as the parent says “why should I do something nice for you when you are being so rude and irresponsible” and the child is thinking “why would I want to be nice and co-operate with you when you are so mean to me?”.
I also shared some great ways for parents to get more involved and learn more about Adlerian parenting ideas. Here are the links:
NASAP (North American Society of Adlerian Psychology) annual conference June 1-4 in Denver, CO. Check out The Parent Track
ICASSI (International Committee of Adlerian Summer Schools and Institutes) in Dublin, Ireland. I am attending the first week July 30th to Aug 5th, but there is also the second week Aug 6th – 12th. You can do one or the other or BOTH!
The Daily Adler e-newsletter and The Daily Adler Podcast (hosted by my brother Jeff Knight).
If you have a question for me, email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
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As a childhood survivor of cancer, Dr Kelly Fradin grew up to become a pediatrician dedicated to helping children with complex medical conditions. She has been helping parents navigate the challenges that arise once you get a diagnosis for a child. We talk about how to find good information and support, about how this impacts the marriage and siblings, how to find the joy on the journey and much more. Even if you aren’t parenting a child with a diagnosis, we can all learn how to be a better community for those who need us too.
You can order the book here:
You can follow Dr Fradin’s parenting advice on IG @AdviceIGiveMyFriends
Dr Fradin’s website https://adviceigivemyfriends.com
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Parenting often targets the Mom demographic and their needs and wants, leaving us to assume Dads don’t engage enough. Turns out, Dads just want to engage differently! My guests Dave Drazen and Dr Brian Lewis are two Dads who have conducted a lot of research to learn about that difference so that Dads who want to step up their parenting get the support they need the way in they want it delivered.
From this episode:
North American Society of Adlerian Psychology (NASAP) and its annual conference is here.
Parent Encouragement Program (PEP) here
Dr Brian Lewis on FB here
Dave Drazen is on social media @daviddrazen
Q1. 7yr old daughter with anxiety has explosive fits when things don’t go as she’d like.
Q2. When to start talking about sexual consent and how? Is 11 too young?
Q3. 16 yr old son embroiled in a power struggle who refuses to communicate about the need to work together instead of living like he’s in a boarding house.
Q4. 5 yr old triplets and a 2 yr old sibling. One refuses to own responsibility for mistakes and blames others, one is quirky and hoards things in her bed and the room is chaos. And the 2 yr old refuses to eat what is served so dinner is a 1.5 hour ordeal.
If you have a question for me – email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com
Sign up for The Daily Adler to get a hit of Adlerian inspo and learning in your inbox https://dailyadler.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Dr. Ben Rader and I discuss the concept of “chosen family”. It turns out that almost everybody has a chosen family if they take a moment to consider the idea. Ben helps us understand the important role a chosen family provides in creating social belonging as well as important opportunities it provides to either perpetuate or change the roles we play in our most important relationships.
Check out Dr Rader’s community at www.MASLCommunity.org
Check out the Color of Child Welfare conference we discussed here: https://www.eventleaf.com/e/COCW2023
With a thirteen percent increase in drug deaths last year, it seemed fitting to talk to skateboard prodigy Brandon Turner, who overcame his own struggles with addiction and run-ins with the law. We’ll hear his journey to sobriety and how that led him to create a new rehab center that provides skateboard programs (and other types of programs as well) to create a safe, healthy, and healing community for teen skateboarders and beyond.
Learn more at:
https://healthyliferecovery.com
Social media:
IG @healthyliferecoveryinc and @bturner_
FB https://www.facebook.com/healthyliferecoveryinc
LI https://www.linkedin.com/in/brandon-turner-b35089100
Q1. How to help a tween adapt to our moving to a new town and high school?
Q2. 7yr old daughter refuses medicine for her cold.
Q3. 6 yr old son is being aggressive and defiant at school.
Q4. How do we parent proactively around prevention of addiction?
If you have a question for me, email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
I sat down with Jim White, a coach and founder of The Family Enrichment Academy to talk about his latest book “How To Be The Parent Your Teenager Needs You To Be”.
Jim explains the importance of building connection with your teen and how to set the stage to do so. He also talked to me about empowering our teens by intentionally choosing a “love-based mindset”, which he explains. One of his main takeaways for parents is to recognize that all “bad” or unwanted behaviour by teenagers is actually a call to connect. He recommends making the shift from trying to control what your teenager does to empowering them to be their absolute best.
Download Jim’s free resource for listeners, “10 questions you should never ask your teenager and the 10 questions you should be asking”, at https://www.familyenrichmentacademy.com/questions
Website: https://www.familyenrichmentacademy.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5KxKx0WQAwmz5qKh5sapGA
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Adlerian therapist, Dr Sara Saeedi works with youth in a counselling centre in British Columbia. She shares research findings and insights into the “good, the bad and the ugly” of social media and how it’s usage can hurt self-esteem or grow social interest and belonging. She offers tips for parents to help manage the content and amount of social media usage.
Follow Dr Saeedi here:
FB https://www.facebook.com/drsarapsychology/
IG & TikTok @drsarapsychology
Check out ICASSI - the Adlerian summer school – coming up in Ireland in 2023.
https://www.icassi.net
Q1. 7yr old boy is very impatient and screams about small stuff.
Q2. 16yr old girl feels judged by other girls and flees unless friends are with her.
Q3. 15 yr old boy won’t listen to parents about getting more sleep.
If you have a question for me, email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
Dr Vanderloo is the Scientific Director for ParticipACTION and Dr Tremblay is the President of Active Healthy Kids Global Alliance, and the Chief Science Officer for the ParticipACTION Report Card. In this episode we talk about the recent report called the Global Matrix 4.0 and how poorly Canadian children are doing compared to other countries when it comes to initiatives to keep our kids physically active. We discussed the impacts of the pandemic, both good and bad, as well as actionable tips every family should be taking to get our kids MOVING!
To learn more, check out these links:
ParticipACTION
Instagram (English)
Instagram (French)
TikTok
Twitter (English)
Twitter (French)
YouTube
Active Healthy Kids
https://www.activehealthykids.org/4-0/
https://www.participaction.com/the-science/children-and-youth-report-card/
https://twitter.com/activehealthyk1
https://www.facebook.com/ActiveHealthyKidsCanada
https://www.linkedin.com/company/ahkga/
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
When we raise our children, we bring our whole selves to the job. But for most of us there are unresolved wounds and hurts from our childhood that can negatively impact our children. In this episode, Sophia Barna and I discuss the self-responsibility of self-care to heal our wounds, and how to love unconditionally.
Find Sophia here:
www.crossingyourbridges.ca
YouTube
And check out, or purchase, her book at: "The Simple Way: A Graceful Path to Success"
Q1. Should I force my 11 yr old to include their 7 yr old twin siblings in their playdates?
Q2. 7yr old grade 2 (who was a premature December baby) wants to see his report card which indicates he is “progressing with difficulty” in all subjects. Do I show him?
Q3. Should I pay someone to be a friend for my 14yr old son with Asperger’s who has no friends?
Q4. My 7 and 10yr olds make their lunch but still prefer to take the offerings from the fridge in the classroom meant for kids who can’t afford to bring one.
If you have a question for me – email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
Today’s guests are the rock stars of motherhood. They literally fill stadiums with cheering mom fans on their multi-city tours across North America and beyond. Yes, they even travel by tour bus with wine and roadies! They have captured the hearts of moms everywhere with their honest and authentic convos about modern motherhood. With such a huge fan base that they engage with regularly, it was a perfect chance to ask Cat and Nat what they are seeing out there as trends and concerns in motherhood today. They also have taken my parenting classes, so I was especially interested to see how that stood up with everything else they see. Check out their perspective.
You can find Cat and Nat on social media at @catandnat and @thecommonparent
Listen to their podcast called “Cat and Nat Unfiltered”.
Doug Price is a riot! And he is on a mission to teach 17 year olds financial literacy so they become millionaires. What 17 year old isn’t going to perk up their ears when someone asks if they want to be a millionaire?! In this episode we discuss his book and how he is resonating with youth to teach this important life skill - a skill parents often fail at themselves.
His book, “17 to Millionaire” has its own website: www.seventeentomillionaire.com
The course SmART Money Canada website: www.smartmoneycanada.ca
On Twitter: @17tomillionaire
Q1. 17 year old watching porn
Q2. 6 year old who stomps his feet when he is angry or frustrated
Q3. 12 year old girl crying and sharing she feels she is weird and not fitting in
Check out the information on porn at www.truthaboutporn.com
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
Leslie Forde is a researcher and consultant. During the pandemic, she began researching the topics of caregiving, career growth, equal partnership, and self-care. In this interview we discuss the best practices for improving workplace culture, and how to empower working mothers with the tactics they need to navigate their career growth, domestic commitments, and their own well-being.
You can find Leslie Forde here:
https://www.momshierarchyofneeds.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/moms_hierarchy_of_needs
Facebook: https://facebook.com/MomsHierarchyOfNeeds
Dr. Amoneeta discusses the positive impact of beginning a meditation practice at the youngest of ages. Squirming kids seems like a tough request for sitting still on a cushion, and that is why Dr. Amoneeta created the A-E-I-O-U and Y vowel version of teaching children in engaging ways the components and skills that are fun to learn and practice. Any teacher or parent can work with children using his model.
His book: “Teaching Mindfulness” can be found here:
https://bookpubco.com/content/teaching-mindfulness
You can follow Dr. Amoneeta on social media here:
IG: dr.amoneeta
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/Amoneeta/featured amoneeta.com
Q1. My son says he doesn’t like that other people make the rules and then hurts us so we feel sad too.
Q2. How do I manage the ubiquitous opportunities for my children to eat sugary foods?
Q3. My sons act out when my ex and I are together briefly at hand-off time between households.
Q4. My 9 yr old has troubles with her emotions especially anger towards her younger sister.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
In this episode of the podcast, I interview Carolyn Hays, the author (pen name) of “A Girlhood: Letter to my Transgender Daughter”, which takes parents along her family’s personal journey of raising a transgender daughter. In our conversation we discuss the science, and the hurdles, joys and challenges of parenting a transgender child. We also discuss how to be an ally to the LGBTQ2+ community.
Carolyn mentioned this impactful documentary: Disclosure
Resources and more about the book on Carolyn’s website.
November is will month. Do you have a will? Is it up to date? Do your parents have a will? Do you know who has been named executor? David Edey is a Certified Executor Advisor with over 35 years’ experience. He also spent 7 years in court when a sibling contested their parent’s written will, so he is passionate about helping families get their affairs in order to save them from strained family relationships and chaos. I was my father’s executor and I know how unprepared I was for the task. David is here to help!
You can find David’s book “Executor Help Book” here:
The Executor Help Podcast - https://executorhelp.libsyn.com/
And follow David on social media:
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Q1. 3yr old girl who is shunning her mother and preferring her father.
Q2. 6yr old girl who is perfectionistic and gets angry when things don’t go the way she wants.
Q3. How to connect with an 11yr old boy who acts like he is 17, is defiant, and doesn’t think his parents know anything.
Details and registration information for Alyson’s webinar on Nov 16th, 2022 on “Managing Kids And Technology” is here.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist.
Dr. Rebecca Jackson and I discuss how to help learners get caught up this year by helping parents create a homework strategy that includes considerations for the state of the child’s brain. Dr. Jackson explains the individual and daily fluctuations in the status of the brain that can impact a child’s ability to focus, concentrate, control impulses and more. She offers ways to improve these skills and capacities. A fascinating interview!
You can find out more about Dr. Jackson and the Brain Balance Centers below:
https://www.brainbalancecenters.com/
https://drrebeccajackson.com/
https://www.facebook.com/brainbalancecenters/
https://www.youtube.com/user/brainbalancecenters
https://www.linkedin.com/company/brain-balance https://www.instagram.com/brainbalancecenters/?hl=en
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode of the podcast, I speak with a fellow senior Adlerian teacher, practitioner and friend, Wes Wingett. We discuss one of the most practical tools for understanding human behaviour and how to mine our memories of the past in order to bring about change in the way we solve problems, behave and function today.
North American Society of Adlerian Psychology website is here.
Wes on YouTube
Wes’s email weswingett@gmail.com
Q1. How do I street proof my 11yr old daughter for going to the park independently?
Q2. My 17yr old daughter is spending her paycheques on fast food instead of saving for university.
Q3. My teen can’t get a girl to stop naming calling and the school won’t help.
If you’d like to purchase access to my webinar “Parenting Strategies For Teens and Tweens”, you can email my operations manager, Donna at Hello@alysonschafer.com and she’ll set you up!
Protective Parenting for prevention of child abduction can be found on my website here.
Bullying resources for parents, children and schools can be found at PREVNET.CA
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my free download “Home Responsibilities By Age”.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Meet Cameron Davis, a 17yr old youth activist, athlete, entrepreneur, teen traveler, content creator, and role model for youth, as he shares his journey to becoming a world youth leader and how your kids can too!
Check out his charity clothing line which supports disenfranchised youth: www.721mech.ca
Follow Cameron here:
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/CameronTravels
IG @ogcammyd and @721merch.ca
FB www.facebook.com/RTWCameron
Julietta Skoog is a fellow Adlerian parent educator with years of experience working with children through her career as a school counsellor. Because so many parents complain of their children not getting along, I wanted to invite Julietta on the podcast to discuss tools for parents who are dealing with fights and squabbles utilizing Adlerian methods.
You can follow Julietta here:
FB – https://www.facebook.com/besproutable
IG - https://www.instagram.com/besproutable
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/sproutable
Learn more about Julietta’s work at https://www.besproutable.com
Q1. 15 yr old girl lying and sneaking out to see her boyfriend.
Q2. 9yr old boy doesn’t like his body shape.
Q2. ADHD teen boy won’t do his chores, but fights to get more data and gym membership.
Q3. 7yr old boy who is a constant struggle. He will not listen or get along with his siblings.
Q4. 7yr old girl who speaks disrespectfully to Mom when she is having an explosive episode.
Q5. University Prof looking for Adlerian / non-traditional grading methods for students.
Details and registration information for Alyson’s webinar on October 5, 2022 on “Parenting Strategies For Teens and Tweens” is here.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
You are going to love listening to this dynamic episode as the couples talk about how the race impacted their children and family dynamics at home during the 5 weeks they were on the road racing across Canada. Craig and Catherine were Team Broadway – best friends – and racing to show Catherine’s children that even with terminal brain cancer she is strong and very much alive.
You can follow them on social media at the handles below:
IG @Catherinewreford
@craigramsayfit
Twitter @CatherineWreford2
@CraigRamsayFit
FB https://www.facebook.com/catherine.ledlow
FB https://m.facebook.com/CraigRamsayFit/
Craig’s books:
Anatomy of Muscle Building
https://tinyurl.com/5xwrmhyy
Anatomy of Stretching
https://tinyurl.com/ycxnu9e6
Dr. Dan O’Neill is the author of “Survival Of The Fit”. He is an orthopedic surgeon, sports psychologist and the former Team Physician for the U.S. Alpine Ski Team. He is passionate about helping children live healthy and happy lives. In this interview we hear about the obesity issues in children today, and how parents can assist in setting their kids up on a good trajectory for a lifetime of healthy living starting now!
Purchase Dr. O’Neill’s book through his website: https://survivalofthefit.net
Q1. 3 year old’s growing dependency on taking her teddy bear to daycare.
Q2. 12 year old is cutting.
Q3. 3 year old randomly hits people including strangers, babies in strollers etc
Q4. Daughter won’t eat with her mouth closed at the table.
Details and registration information for Alyson’s webinar on October 5, 2022 on “Parenting Strategies For Teens and Tweens” is here.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
Tips for parents and teachers as we head back into a new school year from award winning teacher Phillip Done, author of “The Art Of Teaching Children”.
I had the great joy of reading Phillip’s latest book over my summer holidays. It was so on point with advice but also so fun and uplifting. It made me miss teaching! I was thrilled to finally have a chance to talk to this masterful teacher who has so many stories and practical advice for parents and teachers alike. Listen in and get some great back-to-school tips.
Purchase Phillip Done’s book here.
Aimee Buckley is a veteran school teacher and founder of Study Help Inc. In this episode, we discuss how students struggled academically through the pandemic and what is needed to close the gap and get kids caught up at school.
Aimee Buckley’s tutoring platform is https://study.help
On social media: @study.help.inc
There are surprising benefits to playing games during school recess. Mike McDonald talks to me about his free school program called Recess Guardians and how it’s helping kids connect and become leaders in schools across Canada.
Learn more about Recess Guardians here.
Follow them on IG and Twitter at @RecessGuardians
Q1. 6yr old boy latches on to one friend until he overwhelms them.
Q2. How do I talk about consent with an 11 yr old girl? Is this too early? What do I say?
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
If you are enjoying my podcast, please consider writing a review!
Got sleep issues? I’ve got your solution! Meet sleep expert Alanna McGinn, founder of Good Night Sleep Site. Alanna gives us the intel on the importance of good sleep as well as tips for transitioning our sleep schedule (and our kids’) for back to school and work too.
Follow Alanna on social media here:
www.facebook.com/goodnightsleepsite
www.instagram.com/gnsleepsite
www.twitter.com/gnsleepsite
www.linkedin.com/in/alannamcginn
And all of her sleep programs can be found at: www.goodnightsleepsite.com
I am bringing you a special guest to celebrate my 100th episode! Julie Lythcott-Haims joins me to talk about “adulting”. She is the New York Times best-selling author of “How To Raise An Adult”, and today she and I discuss her latest book, “Your Turn: How to Be An Adult”. Enjoy!
You can find Julie on social media at: @jlythcotthaims
Her books can be found at: https://www.julielythcotthaims.com/your-turn
And her TED course: https://ed.ted.com/lessons/uX3soXgB
I started this episode discussing some of the misunderstandings about advice I had given during pride month. Then we had 2 big questions about teens:
Q1. 14 yr old son in Christian home that is expected to participate in confirmation states he doesn’t believe in God and doesn’t want to go to church anymore.
Q2. 13 year old son doesn’t want to hear any advice from mom.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
Dawn has a unique blend of experience. She has spent 30+ years working in the travel industry, including her parents’ firm Barclay Travel Ltd, plus she holds a degree in psychology and marketing. In this episode, Dawn shares with me travel strategies and anecdotes from Certified Autism Travel ProfessionalsTM.
To continue to follow Dawn’s advice, check her out here:
LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/dawnbarclay/
Twitter http://www.twitter.com/@travelingdiff
FB http://www.facebook.com/travelingdifferent
Book: https://www.amazon.ca/Traveling-Different-Strategies-Inflexible-Neurodiverse-ebook/dp/B0B2ZJR7FV/ref=sr_1_3?crid=32XN11N3MN1L0&keywords=traveling+different&qid=1654883754&sprefix=traveling%2Caps%2C57&sr=8-3
Q1. 18mo crawls in and out of cot and plays instead of going to sleep.
Q2. 4 Yr old goes to bed but then requests things (toilet, water etc).
Q3. 5.5 yr old daughter spits and is rude when grandpa sets a limit with her.
Q4. 13 yr son rejects any of my advice on life matters.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
Robert Omwa is bringing Adlerian Psychology to teachers in Kenya, his home country that has a long history of corporal discipline, mostly through caning. He grew up being caned at school, and then become a teacher who caned his pupils, when he decided there must be another way. Listen to his journey and the remarkable impact he is making.
Mentioned in the podcast:
Beacon Teachers Africa http://beaconteachersafrica.org
Precious Seeds Africa https://www.end-violence.org/members/precious-seed-africa
Follow Robert here:
https://www.facebook.com/RobertOmwa https://www.instagram.com/omwarobert
https://twitter.com/RobertOmwa www.linkedin.com/in/robert-ouko-omwa-hsc-aaa76211b
Powerful teacher testimonial:
https://youtu.be/7G_RcqqL7CY
Mentioned in the podcast: Shane and Nikki’s courses: www.preparingparents.com
On IG and FB: @preparingparentscourse
LEAPT: Play Therapy Training with Terry Kottman: www.adlerianplaytherapy.com
The Dougy Center for Grieving Children and Families www.dougy.org
Books:
10 good things about Barney
You’ve got Dragons
Q1. Is using distractions to stop a 7yo who is have a meltdown a valid way of teaching emotional regulation?
Q2. 15 yr old with rare disease that won’t see a counsellor, but says he vapes and doesn’t care what he puts in his body because he doesn’t think he’ll live past 21 anyways ( which is not true).
Q3. How do I talk to my 15 yo daughter who is posting images of herself that are edgy.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
Jody McVittie, MD, is the co-founder and now the Strategic Advisor for Sound Discipline, a non-profit working with schools, youth programs and parenting educators to teach tools to foster dignity, respect and equity in our communities. She received her medical degree from Case Western University and completed a family medicine residency and fellowship before returning to the shifting her focus to broader community issues that impact health outcomes including parenting, education, trauma, and the impact of intra-family violence.
Self-regulation cards (either purchase or download) https://www.sounddiscipline.org/self-regulation-tool-cards/
Library of tips and tools: https://www.sounddiscipline.org/category/tips-tools/
Twitter: @SoundDiscipline
FB: https://www.facebook.com/sounddiscipline
Drew and I discuss how important play and creativity are for child development. We discuss the merits of Lego freestyle versus kits, getting kids off screens, the importance of telling and reading stories together and much more!
You can find more about Drew and Tonie Time here:
LinkedIn http://www.linkedin.com/in/drewvernon
FB - Official Page - https://www.facebook.com/tonies.us
- Fan Community group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/770345047091102
- Tonies for Teachers Community group -
https://www.facebook.com/groups/736030273737701
IG @tonies.us
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/toniesUS
Tonie Time podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tonie-time/id1613429123
Childhood podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/qa/podcast/childhood/id1548516281
Q1. What is the Adlerian take on ADHD?
Q2. 5 yr old is hitting, kicking, punching, throwing – all day long
Q3. 11yr old has trouble with anger and frustration. Recently suspended from school for sending threatening messages on school messenger and damaging property.
Q4. 7 yr has trouble with guests leaving. Storms upset to her room and refuses good-byes.
Resources mentioned in the podcast:
Dr Frank Walton’s paper on ADHD
http://drfrankwalton.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/UnderstandingandHelpingChildren.pdf
Sir Kenneth Robinson’s TED talk including the mistaken ADHD epidemic
https://www.ted.com/talks/sir_ken_robinson_changing_education_paradigms
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
Mark Bowden is voted the #1 body language professional in the world. We discuss RBF - “resting bitch face” - in teens, the benefits of teaching kids to lie, how to read your child’s body language and tips for body language that helps kids open up and talk!
You can find Mark here:
LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/markbowden1/
Twitter @truthplane
FB @markbowdenbodylanguage
IG @truthplane
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/MarkBowden1 and also
https://www.youtube.com/c/TheBehaviorPanel
Visit his website: www.truthplane.com
And pick up his book: Truth And Lies: What People Are Really Thinking
Dr. Karin Jakubowski is an elementary public school principal and certified life coach. She helps teachers and parents learn a problem solving process when their child is experiencing challenging behaviors.
Check out her NEW Course - Happy Kids, Not Perfect Kids (Click Here)
Follow her on social -
https://www.facebook.com/educationalimpactacademy
Karin's YouTube Channel
Instagram - JakubowskiKarin
Twitter - @KarinJakubowski
www.educationalimpactacademy.com
Q1. Am I creating trust issues by leaving my screaming 2.5 year old child at daycare?
Q2. Help with a 9yr old daughter who is upset about the impending death of her grampa
Q3. 11 yr daughter hangs with a friend who has bad qualities, she sees it, but still wants to be friends regardless.
Q4. My 4 yr old son is very rude when we have company (especially grandparents).
Q5. My twins in grade 6 think sex ed about lesbians and transgender is too early, and they don’t like their friends acting it out in front of them.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
This month’s workshop: Kids and Tech. Details and registration here: https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/managing-kids-and-tech-tickets-307638654497
Authors of their new book, Base Camp Reno, Chris and Elizabeth are avid family hikers and backpackers who chatted with me about our mutual love of getting out into the great outdoors with children, hacks to make it go smoothly, and why you should too! Follow them on FB: https://www.facebook.com/basecamphikes/
Buy Base Camp Reno here: https://www.amazon.com/Base-Camp-Reno-Hikes-Sage/dp/1945501588
Dr. Rich is an Associate Professor of Pediatrics at Harvard Medical School and the Director of the Digital Wellness Lab located at Boston’s Children Hospital where he practices Adolescent Medicine. In this interview, we discuss parenting advice for a healthy digital upbringing and the resources available at the Lab. As well, we discuss PIMU - “Problematic Interactive Media Usage” - and the underlying issues that correspond to its appearance in certain populations of children.
Here is the link to the Digital Wellness Lab: https://digitalwellnesslab.org/
I highly suggest you subscribe to their e-newsletter here: https://digitalwellnesslab.org/about/newsletter/
You can follow the digital wellness lab on social media too:
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/company/digital-wellness-lab
Twitter - https://twitter.com/DigitalWellLab
FB - https://www.facebook.com/digitalwellnesslab/
IG - https://www.instagram.com/digitalwellnesslab/
In this episode, I share some of the background on the relationship between communism and Adlerians as well as suggestions for how to talk to kids about the invasion of Ukraine.
Q1. I am leaving an abusive relationship, but until I do, how do I parent my 4 year old when her father is ignoring her and she wants his attention?
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my "Responsibilities By Age" tip sheet!
Q1. Should we travel the world or enrol in SK? They have not had much socializing.
Q2. Autocratic dad thinks his way is right, because older brother doesn’t bully his sister when dad is around to handle things his way.
Q3. 6 yr old girl says “YOU’RE EMBARRASSING ME” whenever I compliment her.
Q4. 9 yr old has angry outburst (I model this too) and she is losing friends for being bossy.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
Tim is a prominent Adlerian, professor, and president of The North American Society for Adlerian Psychology (NASAP). He is also father to Jacob who has CHARGE syndrome. In this episode, we talk about his own parenting and the work he does with parents who have children with disabilities and the application of Adlerian principles.
Tim and I also discussed the upcoming NASAP conference in Virginia with the parent track. Details and registration are here:
https://nasap.memberclicks.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=112:nasap-annual-conference-information&catid=20:site-content
For more information and support on CHARGE syndrome visit www.chargesyndrome.org
Also, register for Alyson’s upcoming webinar on power struggles. Details and registration can be found here.
Jamie Scrimgeour specializes in stepfamily dynamics. She hosts the KICK-ASS Stepmom Podcast. In this episode we discuss the challenges of step parenting and how the changes begins with us.
You can find Jamie below:
On FB at www.facebook.com/scrimgeourjamie
Or on IG www.jamiescrimgeour.com/jamiescrimgeour
The KICK-ASS Stepmom Podcast – www.jamiescrimgeour.com/kickassstepmompodcast
Get Jamie’s “The Secret To Improving Your Stepfamily Life” a free download here: www.jamiescrimgeour.com/freeguide
Also, register for Alyson’s upcoming webinar on power struggles. Details and registration can be found here: https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/power-struggles-tickets-259113775277
Jim Bitter is one of our most esteemed Adlerians. Because I had so many families asking questions about siblings who don’t get along, I wanted Jim to help unpack this family dynamic more deeply.
Jim’s website is www.jamesrobertbitter.com
Jim also wants listeners to know about The North American Society for Adlerian Psychology ( NASAP) of which Jim is a diplomate and post president: www.alfredadler.org.
As well, Jim is a teacher for our international summer school called ICASSI. This ICASSI is being held in the Netherlands. Jim will be teaching, Alyson will be attending with friends and families from around the world. This summer institute welcomes families and has a fantastic kids program. Check it out here:
Also, register for Alyson’s upcoming webinar on power struggles. Details and registration can be found here.
Q1. 7yr old boy goes from sweet to angry and explosive with pushover mom
Q2. Husband says our democratic approaches don’t work for teen who needs stricter rules re: eating
Q3. 11 yr boy constantly blurts and talks over or repeats what he sees in the movie we are watching
Q4. 4 year old lying by telling stories that are not true and sneaking candy to school.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
Q1. Boy yells at grandfather for eating “his” chips. Q2. 4 year old has clothing sensitivities
Q3. 18 yr old daughter uses my toiletries and refuses to wash her clothes.
Q4. 13yr son hates school and refuses to talk about with me.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
In this episode, I speak with the most qualified person there is to answer parents tech questions: Amber Mac, a mom and the nation’s leading tech expert. We’ll talk about screen time, appropriate ages for apps, tracking and blocking apps, useful apps parents should know about, mental health impact from being online and more.
You can follow Amber on social media at @ambermac everywhere.
Check out her book Outsmarting Your Kids Online here
Subscribe to the Amber Mac Weekly newsletter: www.ambermac.com/newsletter
Check out #TheFeed podcast wherever you listen
Register for my upcoming webinar “Parenting Strategies for Tweens or Teens” here
Q1. 15 yr old girl, A student, caught smoking e-cigs in the school bathroom
Q2. 3.5 yr old boy, talkative at home, but won’t say hello / good-bye to others
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter here
Got stressed kids? Check out my convo with child and adolescent psychotherapist Katie Hurley. She has 20+ years working with kids and used that experience to compiled her latest book called “The Stress Buster Workbook For Kids” to pull together all the tools, skills and techniques she has gathered for her clients over the years into one great book. While it is written for children 4-11 it’s clearly helpful to EVERYONE of all ages, including parents, teachers, clinicians and more. Take a listen!
Here is Katie’s website:
https://practicalkatie.com/about-me/
Her book is here:
https://practicalkatie.com/the-stress-buster-workbook-for-kids/
You can follow her on social media too:
IG @katiehurley
FB https://www.facebook.com/katiehurleylcsw
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katiefhurley
Terry Kottman is the creator of Adlerian Play Therapy. In this episode we discuss what play therapy is, why Adlerian play therapy is different from other modalities, what types of children benefit from our work, what a session might look like, how gaming is integral to the process and so much more.
You can learn more about Terry here:
www.adlerianplaytherapy.com
http://leapt.arlo.co/w/
Here books are here:
Partners in Play
Co-operative games:
Pandemic
Forbidden Desert
Gnomes at night
Dinosaur Escape
Q1. 4yr girl leaves tables and sneaks food from fridge – do I lock it?
Q2. 4.5yr boy can’t settle and wait in line at JK
Q3. 11yr son refused to leave car. We sat for an hour. Did he win the power struggle?
Q4. 15yr son is getting angry with my rule that his phone has to be in my room at night.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
Feeding the family can be a chore. Planning, cooking, table manners and picky eaters all present challenges, so I invited Canada’s Master of Mealtime, Claire Tansey, onto the podcast to give parents tips and tricks to not only navigate these challenges, but also to see the importance of happy meal times and teaching your own children to be inspired in the kitchen. Listen in!
You can follow Claire here:
Twitter @tanseyclaire
FB facebook.com/clairetanseyskitchen
IG @tanseyclaire
YouTube Claire Tansey’s Kitchen
Claire’s book! Dinner, Uncomplicated is available everywhere books are sold or right here:
Claire’s classes: Visit learn.clairetansey.com to see what’s coming next or to sign up for the 60-minute Picky Eaters masterclass.
Claire's private counselling! Visit clairetansey.com
Meal Planner Type Quiz: https://quiz.clairetansey.com/sf/f4c2fbf5
I am so excited to introduce you to Ned Johnson, co-author of What Do You Say: How to talk with kids to build motivation, stress tolerance and a happy home. Written during COVID but useful anytime. I met Ned years ago when he attended a presentation of mine in MD for the Adlerian organization in the Washington DC area known as PEP ( Parent Encouragement Program). Ned and Bill Stixrud have written an amazing follow-on book to their first national bestselling book The Self-Driven Child. I am so happy to see so many references to Adlerian quotes, books, concepts being catapulted into the mainstream through this important book. Enjoy the interview! He’s a gem.
You can find the books here:
What Do You Say?
The Self-Driven Child
And follow Ned here:
YouTube
TikTok
Could it be that your “monkey child” who annoyingly hangs upside down from the furniture is actually not seeking your attention, but is a kid solving their own vestibular issues? Sabrina Adair (M. Sc. O.T.) discusses her new book “Understanding a Child The Occupational Therapy Way; Recognizing and Communicating the Unique Potential of a Child.
Sabrina is not your every day occupational therapist! She is a like-minded professional working to help the world understand children through a developmental, holistic perspective that includes the Adlerian usefulness of behaviour but so much more. Sabrina invites us to be curious instead of reactionary to use the wisdom of OT’s to really getting to know your child inside and out, so you can make educated decisions and choices in creating an environment at home and school that helps them thrive! Everyone experiences the world uniquely. Your kids don’t have to be symptomatic for you to learn how to best foster their potential.
Sabrina’s website is www.enablingadaptations.com
You can email her at info@enablingadaptations.com
You can follow Sabrina through any of her social media handles:
Linkedin linkedin.com/in/sabrinaadair
Twitter @EnablingAdaptn
FB Facebook.com/enablingadaptations/
IG @enablingadaptations
YouTube Enabling Adaptations Inc
You can find Sabrina’s new book here: Understanding a Child the Occupational Therapy Way: Recognizing and Communicating the Unique Potential of a Child
Q1. How do I deal with perfectionism? Beats themselves up if they don’t win, get a good grade.
Q2. How do you make a kid more organized?
Q3. Getting your child started on a clothing allowance.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
Q1. My 14 yr old lies and we don’t want her dating
Q2. What are the signs of anxiety and how can we help kids manage?
Q3. How do we manage FOMO in the age of social media?
Centre for Humane Technology: https://www.humanetech.com
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
Jane and Chip just launched their co-authored book “Positive Discipline in the Montessori Classroom”. We discuss the shared philosophies of Adler and Montessori, and the need to incorporate a consistent classroom management plan.
You can find more about Chip here:
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chip-delorenzo-53568a10/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/pdformontessori
You can find out more about Jane, all her book titles and Positive Discipline here:
https://www.positivediscipline.com
https://www.positivediscipline.org
https://www.facebook.com/positivediscipline
https://www.twitter.com/PDTweets
https://www.pinterest.com/pdpins1
https://www.instagram.com/positivediscipline
https://www.youtube.com/user/PositiveDiscipline
Q1. 5yr old son is biting in kindergarten class
Q2. 3.5yr son keeps sitting on his 5 mo baby brother
Q3. 3.5yr daughter makes shy / anxious with strangers (esp. men)
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
Encouragement is one of the main tenets of Adler psychology, so I called on my friend and colleague Pascale Brady, Parent Educator and Certified Life Coach to help unpack this complicated word while sharing our personal stories.
You can find Pascale here:
https://www.facebook.com/Pascale.Brady.TheChallengeCoach
www.linkedin.com/in/TheChallengeCoach
https://twitter.com/PascaleBrady
https://www.instagram.com/the_challenge_coach
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIOFPqTy0v3G2_waTVMeDfA
And the PEP workshops here:
https://pepparent.org
Q1. Best way to help kids wind down after school and prevent them from meltdowns.
Q2. Help with creating consequences versus punishment for when a kid is turning off the bathroom light and jumping on the bed.
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
End of summer is a common time for parents to decide to end their marriage. Family Law Lawyer Nathalie Boutet is my guest this week to discuss the different options available to parents as they move through separation and divorce. There is much that parents don’t know! I learned a lot myself.
Here’s where you can connect with Nathalie:
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/nathalieboutetlawyer
Twitter: @BoutetFamilyLaw
Q1. My boyfriend’s kids are not vaccinated and not following protocols which puts my kids in danger.
Q2. How can I help my 14yo and 16yo discover themselves and their career / job skills?
Q3. What are your thoughts on setting boundaries and guidelines for dating?
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
Kathy Buckworth has spent the last 20 years speaking and writing books about modern motherhood. Now that she is a grandmother, she’s on to new subject matter and has launched her own radio show and “grandfluencer” brand “ The Go To Grama”. Come listen to how grandparenting is in 2020 and this important relationship.
Here’s where you can keep up with Kathy:
www.kathybuckworth.com
Linkedin Kathy Buckworth | LinkedIn
Twitter https://twitter.com/KathyBuckworth
IG https://www.instagram.com/kathybuckworth/
Q1. 15 yr son used $2K money we put in his savings to pay for uber eats and games.
Q2. Grade 3 daughter is clingy and likely won’t want to go back to school in the fall.
Books on teaching children financial literacy: Financially Fit Kids
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
Q1. 9yr old can’t explain why she is crying
Q2. 9yr old says “don’t cheer for me” when I say “way to go – you did it”
Q3. 9 &13 yr old boys who complain about nothing being fair between them
Q4. 9 &13 yr old boys who constantly fight and bicker
Q5. 9 & 13 yr old boys with a dad who is a bad role model and the marriage is not working
Q6. 13 yr old boy who is sneaking
Aug 4th Do’s and Don’ts of Managing Teens’ Partying webinar link for details and registration here.
Books on encouragement:
Encouraging Children To Learn https://tinyurl.com/26h25w82
Turning People On: How to be an encouraging person: https://tinyurl.com/59e88bta
Calvin Armerding podcast interview on the co-operative family: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/parenting-the-adlerian-way/id1508655119?i=1000522893991
Paul Rasmussen podcast interview on emotions: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/parenting-the-adlerian-way/id1508655119?i=1000503066250
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
Heather Chauvin is a leadership coach for ambitious and overwhelmed women. Sound familiar? In this podcast we talk about her personal journey as a cancer survivor and how the cultural norms for motherhood have to be challenged. Being a good mother should not kill us. Listen as Heather shares advice for how to make parenting a beautiful spiritual journey instead.
Here’s where you can keep up with Heather:
www.facebook.com/heatherchauvincoaching
www.instagram.com/heatherchauvin_/
http://heatherchauvin.com/podcast
http://heatherchauvin.com/book
Raffi is a music legend. He has been touching the lives of children with his music for 5 decades. Just over 10 years ago, he founded the Raffi Foundation for Child Honouring. We discuss its mission and how parents can learn online through the foundation's parenting course, and MORE!
Here are links to the topics we discussed and more:
Raffi’s new single and video, “Song For Healing” – video, etc.
More info here for you - https://raffifoundation.org/news/a-song-for-healing/
Raffi’s Foundation for Child Honouring - https://raffifoundation.org
Child Honouring online course - https://raffifoundation.org/take-the-course/
Raffi Foundation YouTube videos - https://www.youtube.com/user/childhonouring/videos
These include his talk with the Dalai Lama, Receiving an Honorary Degree of Letters from UBC, etc
Recent Globe and Mail profile - https://www.theglobeandmail.com/arts/music/article-a-lesson-from-the-very-young-why-raffi-could-be-what-the-world-needs/
Other Recent songs -
Baby Beluga 40th anniversary edition with Yo-Yo Ma -
https://www.facebook.com/YoYoMa/videos/736120667200251
For All You Do - Raffi’s song of gratitude for essential workers, with Lindsay Munroe, featuring Yo-Yo Ma -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tQjeT5bD6k
Black Lives Matter To Me - Raffi’s song acknowledging the importance of the current moment for education
and awareness, and expressing a universal longing for justice and freedom -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wwKSq10DIk
In early 2020, Raffi produced and sang on the first album by new children’s artist, Lindsay Munroe, calledI Am Kind: Songs for Unique Kids
Raffi on Twitter - @Raffi_RC
Raffi FB page - https://www.facebook.com/Raffi.Cavoukian/
Instagram - raffi_music
Talk to our children about the news of mass children’s graves at residential schools.
Q1. Do I monitor the money my teen is earning at his job?
Q2. My 12 yr daughter does not want to take a 3 week vacation with dad (divorced 10 yrs).
Q3. My 23 yr daughter is living at home. Her 18yr old BF has basically moved in here. They never go to his place.
Raising Financially Fit Kids – By Joline Godfrey
https://alysonschafer.com/other-resources/
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
Ria Simon is a Registered Early Childhood Educator and worked 6 years in the classroom. She taught all ages but mainly preschoolers. In this episode, we chat about the relationship between parents and their children’s teachers, and why communication is so important. We discuss what is too much, too little and how the pandemic impacted our ability to connect.
Check out more about Ria and the resources she provides at HiMama as the community ambassador through these links to her social media
- www.himama.com
- https://www.facebook.com/groups/himamacircletime
- https://www.instagram.com/himamaapp/
Q1. My 18 daughter has come out to us but not her 15 yr old sister. Can we tell her?
Q2. My 3yr old’s grama is dying and I don’t know how to tell her.
Q3. My 4 yr old undoes his seatbelt in the car
https://alysonschafer.com/home-responsibilities-by-age/
June 22nd Power Struggles webinar link for details and registration here.
Home responsibilities by age is here:
Support for parents of LGBTQ+ kids here
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
Q1. 1 of 3 triplets has sensory issues and getting her dressed is making us late for work.
Q2. 9yr old daughter prefers to be topless, how do I get her to cover up without body shaming?
Q3. 15yr daughter is defiant and I am afraid to DROP the rope – but it worked!
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
Today, I interview another one of our Adlerian greats, Dr Jon Sperry. Jon is a multi-generational Adlerian like myself. He joined me on the podcast to talk about how he uses drumming in a variety of ways and settings to build community, social interest and co-operation. Trust me, you’ll want to dust off your bongo drums as soon as you hear this.
Check out more about Jon on his website. Or at LinkedIn
So excited to bring you a great convo with my Adlerian colleague Calvin, about his book that was launched this month. I had an advance copy and was blown away! Calvin is a Senior Associate at Travelers Rest Counseling Associates in Travelers Rest, SC, where he counsels young adults, couples, and parents. He regularly lectures on Adlerian psychology at regional universities, and facilitates training workshops both locally and internationally.
Calvin sheds light into how Adlerians conceptualize cooperation and the pitfalls of competitiveness that interferes with family life and personal growth.
You can order Calvin’s book here: https://henosis-press.square.site/
You can hear Calvin's band here: https://open.spotify.com/artist/0K4akTnriO1ftrI1gAy5zy
https://www.travelersrestcounseling.com/
Q1. 2.5 twins girls peeing in the park
Q2. How to heal a broken relationship with your child
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com
Sign up for my webinar May 18th on Parenting Strategies for Tweens and Teens https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/parenting-strategies-for-teens-and-tweens-tickets-153343535643?aff=ebdssbonlinesearch
Fionnuala gave up her teaching job to become a full time Adlerian Parent Educator and now has expanded to train educators too. Originally from Ireland, and working in Germany, Fionnuala shares her journey and how others might seek out this fulfilling career, or at least explore more about Adlerian psychology outside of just a parenting class.
You can check out training programs with Fionnuala at www.parentingtools.de
Positive Discipline: www.positivediscipline.org
Parent Encouragement Program P.E.P www.pepparent.org
Adlerian Summer Schools are called ICASSI and they are here: www.ICASSI.net
North American Society of Adlerian Psychology NASAP https://nasap.memberclicks.net
Q1. 2.5 yo tantrums in public on way home from daycare
Q2. 7yo whistles just to bug us all.
Q3. 9yo having sleep issues since the pandemic
Q4. How to get child to do homework without both of us ending up in tears?
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Dr Frank Walton is an internationally acclaimed and well respected Adlerian psychologist with more than 40 years’ experience working with families in private practice in Columbia, South Carolina. He has taught Adlerian family counselling practices around the globe. He has produced and published many resources, articles and manuals on teens and teen suicide. He was the psychological consultant for the critically acclaimed and award winning video “Teen Suicide: An Approach To Prevention”.
Check out the free downloadable resources on Dr Walton’s website.
The South Carolina Society of Adlerian Psychology’s Annual Conference
International Committee of Adlerian Summer Schools and Institutes (ICASSI)
Q1. 5&7 yo refuse to go upstairs to bed when it’s 8:30 bedtime.
Q2. Son says “I am dumb” or “I am stupid” when he makes a mistake
Q3. 9 yo daughter says she is not good enough and is a perfectionist
Q4. My child has broken my trust and now I find myself ( wrongly) going through their room to “catch them in a lie”.
Q5. 14yo daughter used to love camp, couldn’t go last year, now refuses to go this year. Do I force her?
Q6. 18yo daughter lost her friend group, now working a PT job and has friends there, but how do I encourage her to socialize with them outside of work too?
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Another great interview with NYT best-selling author Jess Lahey discussing her new book! Jess shares how her own journey from addiction to sobriety that led her to want to dig into the research on how best to parent children to prevent them from becoming addicts. Her book offers up the answers!
Buy The Addiction Inoculation book here.
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-lahey-b815a366/
Twitter: @jesslahey
FB: https://www.facebook.com/jessicapottslahey
IG: @teacherlahey
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFJ5jb98nTWRKRPm1JS0i_g/featured
Michele is an educational psychologist and author of 25 parenting books, including Unselfie. She is an internationally renowned speaker and media mainstay. In our discussion Michele explains just how short sited our modern parenting practices are. She explains how we set up our kids to be strivers, but they eventually fail and collapse. Instead she instructs us about the parenting practices to raise kids who thrive and shine!
Find Michel here:
www.micheleborba.com
IG @drmicheleborba
Twitter: @micheleborb
You can purchase her book from Amazon too:
https://www.amazon.ca/Thrivers-Surprising-Reasons-Struggle-Others/dp/0593085272
Emma Brown, an author and investigative journalist for the Washing Post, perhaps best known for being responsible for bringing the Dr Christine Blasey Ford / Bett Kavanaugh story to light. In this episode of the podcast, I chat with Emma about the surprisingly scary issues facing boys today. We discuss boys as silent victims of sexual assault who are not taken seriously; why we should drop the term the toxic masculinity and use the preferred “man box” and how to enlarge that box for our boys; the ambiguity of consent including the Aziz Ansari case; and much more!
Check out more about Emma Brown and her book here:
https://www.toraiseaboy.com
Twitter @emmerbrown
Q1. 12yo thinks he should have full access on his phone and is disrespectful.
Q2. 7yo hits when he is mad. Worried he’ll be out of control at 13yo.
Q3. How do I teach child to self-validate instead of looking outward for approval?
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com
Michaeleen is a correspondent for NPR’s Science Desk. When her daughter Rosy was 3 years old, she bundled her up and left San Francisco to live amongst three ancient cultures to experience their parenting first hand. She spent time with the Maya of the Yucatan, the Inuit of the Artic Circle and the Hadzabe in Tanzania. In this interview we discuss the pitfalls of Western “WEIRD” parenting and the merits of ancient methods she refers to as “TEAM” parenting.
You can follow Michaeleen on twitter @FoodieScience
And her website: www.michaeleendoucleff.com
She loves emails: mdoucleff@npr.org
You can purchase her book from Amazon too:
https://www.amazon.ca/Hunt-Gather-Parent-Ancient-Cultures/dp/1982149671
Do you have a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer in an upcoming episode.
In this episode I referred to a great book on encouragement:
https://www.amazon.ca/Skills-Encouragement-Bringing-Yourself-Others/dp/1574440047 ( I suspect it is crazy expensive because it’s out of print.) another great book is:
https://www.amazon.ca/Encouraging-Children-Learn-Rudolf-Dreikurs/dp/1583910824 and
https://www.amazon.ca/Turning-People-How-Encouraging-Person/dp/0967343941
Q1. How to encourage a teen to get physically active during online schooling?
Q2. How to deal with 9 yr old son who is touching his private parts in public?
Q3. How to help 10 yr old daughter manage her emotions at home?
Amy Lang has been a sex educator for 25 years. She has heard it all! In this episode, Amy leads us through how and what to say about sex at each of age and stage of development. Amy has also offered up a ton of resources to parents:
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| Books: Find all of these books and more here. * It’s NOT The Stork (2 - 4) * It’s SO Amazing (4 - 11 ) * It’s Perfectly Normal (11+ - and you if you are feeling rusty!) * The Every Body Book (9 - 13) * Consent for Kids (5 - 13) * Good Pictures Bad Pictures, Jr (4 - 8) * Good Pictures Bad Pictures (8+) |
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| Monitoring and parental controls: Circle - this link will give $20 off |
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The Gender Unicorn - https://drive.google.com/file/d/19oRy6p9W67C-W0MSMlJ4Nat4_cEdBiMl/view?usp=sharing
Find Amy Here:
The Birds & Bees Solution Center- Everything you need to become your kids’ go-to birds and bees source.
Use code BBKFEB21 for $15 off!
Just Say This! Amy’s advice-column style podcast
IG: @BirdsBeesKids
FB: https://www.facebook.com/birdsbeeskids/
Got a parenting question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer in an upcoming episode.
Q1. 8 year old refuses to apologize
Q2. Divorced w/ shared custody, but teens want to see friends instead of uphold the parenting agreement to be with me outside the city
Q3. Improve my patience levels
Check out my Feb 23rd workshop on sibling rivalry
Dr Belangee is an Adlerian clinician in private practice in Canton Georgia where she specializes in treating eating disorders from an Adlerian perspective. In this episode we talk about social media’s impact on body image, family factors and personality traits of people who develop anorexia or bulimia, the difference between the two disorders, signs to watch for, preventative measures in your parenting, and how to approach dieting when it’s actually needed.
Check out more about Susan here:
Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/susan-belangee-ph-d-lpc-b5248975
And Susan provided some great resources for listeners:
National Eating Disorders Association – www.nationaleatingdisorders.org
ED Referral – www.edreferral.com (main page); for outside of US: www.edreferral.com/international
Boys and Eating Disorders - https://childmind.org/article/boys-and-eating-disorders/ (The Child Mind Institute site is a great one for general mental health info as well)
Book – Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls by Mary Pipher; recently revised 2019 for 25th anniversary
If you are interested in learning more about Adlerian psychology and parenting, check out the North American Society of Adlerian Psychology: https://www.alfredadler.org and consider membership.
Q1. Guilty about 3 year old being left in the dust, as parent is consumed with demands of helping 5 and 7yo with on-line school.
Q2. 10yr son won’t take responsibility for his actions and just blames others
Q3. My 13 yr daughter was confident as a child, but now fears what others will think of her.
Q4. How much freedom should I give a 13yr old if they are hanging with people who vape and smoke pot.
Q1. Helping teens stay connected during COVID winter inside
Q2. Left Canada for Costa Rica so my 15yo would go outside – still won’t
Q3. 13yr old finds world “loud and scary” after this long in her small bubble
Q4. How to decide to pull a disengaged student from on-line schooling
Lauren is a sociologist, youth advocate and award winning educator. In this episode, Lauren shares some of essential skills that students are developing right now that will be lead to later success after the pandemic. Lauren talks about finding the balance being supportive while also nurturing independence as kids learn to do school remotely. Drop the guilt, get realistic, model healthy limits and much more!
Check out more about Lauren here:
Linkedin - linkedin.com/in/laurenbarr4innovated
Twitter – @Lauren_M_Barr
FB - facebook.com/proflauren.barr
IG - @laurenbarr_innovat.ed
And Lauren provided some great resources for listeners:
An article from MindShift: How Can Teacher’s Nurture Meaningful Student Agency?
Greater Good has some wonderful science-based information from in positive psychology to help build those traits we need to manage life’s challenges more successfully. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/parenting_family
A letter I wrote to my students this fall: https://venngage.net/pl/ovjKALzpW2w
A Permission Slip for Parents – great video from an Ontario Administrator https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=3605607989556485
Many parents and students don't realize there are free resources out there. If they have HS students who need the support of a text to understand concepts better, and they don't have one at home, these can be great. Open Textbooks:
https://open.umn.edu/opentextbooks
https://open.bccampus.ca/browse-our-collection/find-open-textbooks/
Formerly of Saturday Night Live, and then applying his skills to teaching for 12 years, Jamie’s magical approach lead him to be the recipient of the TED Education-HuffPost International Teacher’s Award. Jamie and I discuss Adler and what handwriting reveals about the subconscious. Jamie also explains ways to nurture children’s creativity at home, as well as tips for teachers on how to make both zoom and in-classroom learning more engaging!
Check out more about Jamie Mason Cohen below:
Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/jamiemasoncohen
Twitter @jamiemasoncohen
YouTube: SATURDAY NIGHT LEADERS Virtual Workshop
https://bit.ly/SATURDAYNIGHTLEADERS
Jamie’s Virtual Speaker’s Reel
https://bit.ly/JamieMasonCohenReel
LIVE FROM YOUR CLASS #1 Amazon Best-selling Book
https://bit.ly/LIVEFROMYOURCLASS
Jamie’s Youtube Channel
https://bit.ly/JamieMasonCohenYoutube
COVID has brought out a lot of mental health issues. I can’t wait to share Paul’s interview with you, so you can gain a new understanding about mental health and emotions from an Adlerian perspective. #GameChanger
You can find Dr Rasmussen’s book The Quest To Feel Good here
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paul-r-rasmussen-ph-d-b4452146/
Emotional Health Initiative Website for the workplace and employee well being
Rudolf Dreikurs Summer Institute: here
Former teacher and NYT best-selling author, Jess Lahey discusses her book and the research that supports the best way to motivate learning so children can truly excel. Turns out that our parenting, while good-intentioned, can interfere instead of enhance our children’s success. Learn why and what to do about it!
You can follow Jess here:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-lahey-b815a366/
Twitter: @jesslahey
FB: https://www.facebook.com/jessicapottslahey
IG: @teacherlahey
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFJ5jb98nTWRKRPm1JS0i_g/featured
And listen in on her own podcast #AmWriting, co-hosted with bestselling authors KJ Dell’Antonia and Sarina Bowen: https://amwriting.substack.com/
KJ: https://kjdellantonia.com/
Sarina: https://sarinabowen.com/
You can buy her book here
And pre-order her latest book due for release in April 2021 here: The Addiction Inoculation: https://www.jessicalahey.com/the-addiction-inoculation
Q1. 5yr old refuses on-line learning
Q2. Dealing with the emotions of a 12 yr girl
Q3. Proper consequence for finding vape pen in grade 7’s bedroom
Jane Nelsen is a fellow Adlerian who has not only created 16 parenting books, but her organization is training parent educators to teach Adlerian parenting all over the world and in staggeringly huge numbers! This dynamo is literally changing parenting around the globe and I was excited to hear more about her international training and how these concepts are received by other cultures.
You can find out more about Jane, all her book titles and Positive Discipline here:
https://www.positivediscipline.com
https://www.positivediscipline.org
https://www.facebook.com/positivediscipline
https://www.twitter.com/PDTweets
https://www.pinterest.com/pdpins1
https://www.instagram.com/positivediscipline
https://www.youtube.com/user/PositiveDiscipline
Michele and I dive into the content of her recent book. We discuss the importance of empathy, the research to support it and most importantly, how parents can and MUST cultivate it in childhood. She has spoken to over a million parents in 43 nations. A true gem and expert. Enjoy!
You can find her book here:
UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World.
Coming March 2021: Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine.
Web: micheleborba.com
Instagram: @drmicheleborba
Twitter @micheleborba
Erica founded the YummyMummyClub.ca 14 years ago, well before on-line communities were a “thing” and now she’s garnering over a dozen prestigious awards for her work. In this episode, Erica talks about her personal parenting journey and the need to have support from other moms as she raised her children, especially the teen years when mental health issue arose.
Erica also discuss her new musical series for kids called “Outta The Books” which is launching on YouTube. You can check out the trailer here.
Follow her on social:
Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/ericaehm/
Twitter https://twitter.com/EricaEhm
FB https://www.facebook.com/ThisIsEricaEhm
IG https://www.instagram.com/ericaehm/
Q1. Help with encouraging words for test taking before and after
Q2. 15yo’s personality has changed and is becoming rude and moody
Q3. Helping a 4yo cope with flu shots, blood work and COVID testing
Q4. How to support a student stressed with SSAT and school applications
Q5. Helping 14yo freshman make friends during online schooling
Q6. Helping child learn to play independently and not demand my attention
One of the first parenting books I ever read was “Kids Are Worth It” by Barbara Coloroso. When I attended her talks as a young mother, I didn’t know I was going to become a parent educator or speaker myself. I just wanted to drink up all her wisdom. She is an internationally reknowned consultant on parenting, teaching, school discipline, positive school climates, bullying, grieving, non-violent conflict resolution and restorative justice.
Such a pleasure to get this hour with her to talk about how to parent around the death and all the chaos that surrounds us during this pandemic. Barbara will talk about the Tao of Family ( time, affection, optimism) and the 3 passages of grief. You’ll hear how to talk to a child about death as well as signs your child needs professional support.
In the podcast, Barbara recommends the following book:
They Came Like Sparrows:
https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B002PYFVW6/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
You can get free downloaded resources from her website:
www.kidsareworthit.com
Follow her on social:
Twitter: @BarbaraColoroso
LinkedIn: Barbara Coloroso
FB: https://www.facebook.com/Kids-are-worth-it-inc-259924737382882/
Q1. How can I deal with my 10 yr olds and his tics?
Q2. Should I force my anxious teen to get a driver’s licence?
Do you have a question for me? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com with the subject #AskAlyson
I met Dr Rich a few years ago when we were both on a panel together discussing social media and youth mental health in Ottawa. Check out the bio he sent in below, and you’ll see why he is my go-to for everything digital health related.
We talked about his work at the clinic, definition of addiction, 4 categories of disorders, mental health and tech, responsible use of screen time, the pandemic, online schooling and much, much more. Here is Dr Rich!
Hi, I’m Michael Rich,. more widely known as The Mediatrician. I am Associate Professor of Pediatrics at Harvard Medical School, and of Social and Behavioral Sciences at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health. I practice Adolescent Medicine at Boston Children’s Hospital, where I founded the Clinic for Interactive Media and Internet Disorders, the first evidence-based medical program addressing physical, mental and social health issues associated with digital technology. For near;ly 20 years, I have directed the Center on Media and Child Health (CMCH), which studies and provides research-based, practical answers to parents, teachers and clinicians about children’s media use and the positive and negative implications for their health and development.
Instagram: @cmch_boston and @bostonchildrens
Twitter: @cmch_boston and @bostonchildrens
Facebook: @centeronmediaandchildhealth and @bostonchildrenshospital
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/cmchboston
Here are some terrific online resources from Dr Rich, including where you can submit questions!
Family Digital Wellness Guide
Family Digital Wellness and Return to School 2020
Halloween 2020 Guide
Ask the Mediatrician submissions portal
Q1. How to deal with other people staring at their “twin-ness”
Q2. Finding 1:1 time and competing for parental attention
Q3. Triplet 2.5yo and meal time chaos
Q4. Triplet 2.5 yo and potty training refusal
Q5. 10 yr old not keeping up with old friends
I am very excited to bring you this episode of the podcast! Listen in as I speak with Kirsten Chase. Kirsten is the founder of Kidevolve which is an unique company that’s creating targeted, super-engaging mindfulness meditations training materials for children 6- 12. You’ll hear snippets of great guided meditations geared for children and why social emotional learning is so key, especially during a pandemic.
You can find more about Kirsten and her work at the links below:
💝 Lots more at http://www.kidevolve.com/
💝 👉 Follow Kidevolve on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Kidevolve
👉Follow Kidevolve on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kidevolve/
👍 Like Kidevolve on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kidevolve/
🎧 Listen to our Creative Mind Journeys on Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/2Suf6jw
💝 Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE! https://bit.ly/2yhtB3b 💝
This is an exciting episode of the podcast! I have expanded the format to include guest interviews. My inaugural guest is Washington area pediatrician Dr Steve Silvestro. Dr Silvestro is the creator of The Child Repair Guide, a multimedia child health education platform utilizing video, podcast, and written content designed to help parents “think like a pediatrician” and take ownership over their kids’ health.
In this episode, I talk to Dr Silvestro about the pandemic and what parents really need to know about coronavirus amidst so much confusion and misinformation. We talked about which key statistics parents should be paying attention too. I also asked Dr S’s thoughts on the controversy about kids and if they should or should not wear masks. We delved into the impact of the pandemic on families and education and more!
I am sure after this interview you will want to learn more from Dr Silvestro so I encourage you to follow him on his platforms:
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevesilvestro/
Twitter - @zendocsteve https://twitter.com/zendocsteve
FB - https://facebook.com/drstevesilvestro
IG - @zendocsteve https://instagram.com/zendocsteve
YouTube - https://youtube.com/drstevesilvestro
Parents can sign up for Dr Steve’s newsletter, and find all of his articles & podcasts, and
Mindfulness for Parents Online Course at www.drstevesilvestro.com
Parents of children ages 2-6 can check out ‘10-Minute Preschool,’ a collaboration between Dr. Steve and his wife, Monica, an early childhood educator. With a welcome song, creative lesson and activity, and goodbye song, ‘10-Minute Preschool’ brings all the best parts of preschool right to your home.
1.0 Alyson’s Documentary Review: The Social Dilemma on Netflix by Tristan Harris of The Centre for Humane Technology
Q1. What will be the mental health impact of COVID on my children ( wearing masks, not touching friends, and constant fear mode of germs)/
Q2. What is the impact of the potential second wave and our children being in and out and in and out of school?
Q3. How can I keep my child connected with their friends / classmates if they are doing school from home?
Q4. Will mom’s really be able to go back to the office given everyone is expecting kids to be home multiple times with runny noses and coughs that aren’t COVID.
Q1. (0.00) What should I be doing to prepare my child for back to school with the new normal ?
Q2. ( 11:17) What can I do to make home schooling better than it was in the spring?
Q3 (16:46) Is it okay to make different choices about home schooling vs in class for different kids?
Q1. (0.00) 9 yo with sleep issues since covid and divorce
Q2 (16.40) How to talk to small children (5 and 7) about their cousin’s parents divorcing.
Q3 (22.10) 13 and 15 year old refuse to clean up and I am furious that I have to do everything.
Do you have a parenting question? Email me at alyson@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer anonymously on an upcoming episode.
Alyson Schafer’s Parenting Teens FB Group
Into (0.00) Some Adlerian theory on parenting teens
Q1 (8.10) I don’t trust my super social 17 year old to not meet up with friends when he goes out.
Q2. (19:25) We disapprove of the girl my 15 year old son is dating, and feel she is a bad influence.
Q3. (25:45) My twin 11 year old boys love each other but fight too much, especially at bedtime in their shared room. They also constantly bug me to play video games, which I limit.
Q1 (6:17) My 18 yo DD has severe depression / anxiety and spends her days on Netflix and has stopped doing homework. I am done policing. What else can I do?
Q2 (10:38) My family has been following the COVID protocols, but the grandparents have not. With bubbles opening, how do I let them know they can’t hug or kiss the grandkids without hurting their feelings?
Additional Adlerian Resources to Check out:
NASAP North American Society for Adlerian Psychology
ICASSI International Committee of Adlerian Summer Schools and Institutes
Adlerpedia All Things Adler
Q1. (4:45) How do I talk to my kids about racism and the riots
Q2. (13:00) My son saw the viral video of George Floyd being killed and I fear it has traumatized him. How do I help him process this?
Q3. (19:26) What can I do as a white parent to ensure I don’t race a racist child?
Q1. (1.05)How do I get my 12 yo boy who has become moody, to open up and talk to me about what is wrong?
Q2. (11.00) My kids are starting to play on the street with social distancing rules, but I don’t trust them to actual keep their distance. What do I do?
Q3. (15.30) My 8 year old son is exhibiting anxiety in going out in public now that more things are opening up. How do I help him?
Q4. (21.05) The whole family has become snappy and I am yelling more. Everything is a battle. How do I get my family back on track?
Q1. (0.0) I am using your Adlerian parenting approaches but my husband has not studied them yet. How can I manage our different parenting approaches?
Q2 (8.26) I am trying your techniques on ignore when the kids fight and just walking away, but they follow me or they get physical with one another.
Q3. (15:00) My kids are using zoom calls to stay connected with friends but when I check they were being disrespectful and just watching a friend play instead of visiting with one another.
Q4. (17:28) My daughter is using tech to stay connected with her friends more since COVID. Now that they are all on-line, they are excluding my daughter on FT group chats like “mean girls”
00:00 Alyson’s thoughts on education and homeschooling during Covid.
Q1 (8:53) My Daughter struggles with math and says “I’m stupid”. How do I get her to do her on-line math homework without a fight?
Q2 (18:00) My son does his homeschooling on line in the morning from his bedroom, but when I check on him he is on youtube. How do I get him to do schoolwork without policing?
Q3 (24:24) My son won’t sit still to do his homework. He gets up and down and it ends up taking him twice as long.
Q1 (1:17) 12 yr old competitive dancer has gained a lot of weight during covid and I want to bring this up to her properly.
Q2 (5:44) 2.5 yr old has lost interest in potty training. How do I motivate them?
Q3: (11:05) 7 yr old loves our new puppy but refuses to follow the rules and be gentle. What should I do?
Q4: (18.37) 8 yr old is loud and shrieks all the time. How do I get this to stop? I have tried everything.
Alyson’s blogs on the topic of encouragement:
https://alysonschafer.com/category/best-parenting-practices/praise-encouragement/
Q1. (1.05) What are the consequences for a 12 yr old daughter who is mean to her 9yo bother?
Q2. (17.20) When is it okay to swear? My 13 year just started.
Q3. (23.30) Help in bringing back and improving family meetings now that they are teenagers.
Q1. Attached Toddler won’t let mom out of her sight in the house
Q2. 6 year old still soiling underpants
Q3. How to deal with lying.
Link to Po Bronson’s Article on lying research: https://nymag.com/news/features/43893/
List of home responsibilities for children by age: https://alysonschafer.com/home-responsibilities-by-age/
Today’s questions:
Q1. Can I get some pointers on trying to work from home during Co-Vid with kids
Q2. My kids keep coming into my office while I am working
Q3. My kids won’t leave me alone when I have to take a biz call.
Q4. Dealing with a picky eater
Alyson’s upcoming free webinars: https://alysonschafer.com/workshops/
1:30 Q1: How to I explain co-vid19 and the pandemic to my children 3:30: explaining to JK and younger - experiential activity 4:30: explaining to older children -what have your come to understand? 6:00: tweens / teens - questions to engage their own thinking process 7:00: focus on what we can and should do 8:30: Adler’s idea of social connection and belonging in a time of physical distancing 10:15 The effects of the pandemic on family life 11:00 Q2: My kids have been home for weeks, how can I entertain them for this long? 11:05: clarify that you are not responsible for entertaining your child 14:00 core beliefs and personality established by age 4 or 5 14:25: why creating a schedule that is predictable creates psychological safety 16:17: how to make a schedule together with the kids 18:00: how schedules teach patience and reduce pestering 19:41: Q3: “How can I get my child to focus at mealtime, bedtime, and homework time?” 20.20 The importance of setting and enforcing limits and boundaries 23:30 Logical consequences replace punishments 25:15: Adler’s philosophy is to raise co-operative instead of obedient children 26:20 Natural consequences 27:10: The social laws of living in a group can be taught with logical consequences 28:00 Criteria for logical consequence Have a question for Alyson? Email her at alyson@alysonschafer.com and be sure to include “Podcast Question” in the subject line.
0.30: My origin story 0.55: Who is Alfred Adler 1:30 Adler, Freud and Jung break up 1:50 How WW1 and W11 shaped Adler’s view about living co-operatively with our diversity 2:30 social equality is required in all relationships 3:30 we feel co-operative to those we feel connected and equal 4:00 private logic and goal directed behaviour 4:40 no punishments or rewards 5:00 Dr Rudolf Dreikurs and his book “Children The Challenge” 5:55 My grandparents and parents host Adlerian conference and we are the demonstration family 6:20 Discovering Adler again as a new mother 7:20 Back to school for my MA at the Adler School www.adler.ca 7:25 Kinderschool Adlerian Nursery School Kinderschool 7:37: North Toronto Early Years Learning Centre https://earlyyearslearning.com 7:45 Leaside Therapy Centre https://www.leasidetherapycentre.com If you have a question for me, email alyson@alysonschafer.com and be sure to include “Podcast Question” in the subject line.