Therapist Uncensored Podcast: Recent Episodes
Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP & Ann Kelley PhD
Learn to use the sciences of the mind to help you understand what makes you emotionally tick. Two Austin therapists and their world-recognized guest experts break down the research in modern attachment, relational neuroscience and trauma in a challenging but entertaining format to keep you off autopilot and moving towards closer connections. www.therapistuncensored.com
Patreon/Supercast Special Release –Bonus – Inside Mentalization-Based Treatment: Borderline & Narcissistic Personality Disorders (308)This is a sneak peek of our 2nd episode with Robert Drozek – available only on our Premium Supercast and Patreon platforms. For as little as $5/month you can have access to special releases like this one, first-to-know about upcoming events and discounts and an ad-free feed.Click here to join & finish the episode!!
What is mentalization—and how can therapists put it into practice?In this more clinical deep dive, Robert Drozek explores Mentalization-Based Treatment (MBT) and how strengthening our ability to understand our own and others’ inner experiences can support the treatment of borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Sue and Robert explore the common breakdowns in mentalizing, the power of curiosity over certainty, and practical strategies clinicians can use to help clients build greater emotional awareness, empathy, and connection.
“The hallmark of mentalization is curiosity.” – Robert Drozek
Time Stamps for Bonus – Inside Mentalization-Based Treatment: Borderline & Narcissistic Personality Disorders (308)01:20 – What is Mentalization?
02:56 – The origins of Mentalization-Based Treatment (MBT)
08:07 – Curiosity vs. certainty: What healthy mentalizing looks like
12:43 – When thoughts feel like facts: Psychic equivalence
18:14 – Certainty in Borderline Personality Disorder
19:34 – Certainty in Narcissism
20:58 – The “not-knowing” stance in MBT
26:00 – How Mentalization-Based treatment actually works
32:32 – MBT vs. DBT: What’s the difference?
35:11 – How therapists can incorporate Mentalization into practice
42:25 – Identifying Mentalizing blind spots
About our Guest – Robert P. Drozek, LICSWRobert P. Drozek, LICSW is the clinical director of the Mentalization-Based Treatment Clinic at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts. He is a teaching associate in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, specializing in the treatment of
borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. He is author of the new book, Mentalization: Utilizing reflection to heal from borderline personality disorder—the first book for the general public about
mentalization-based treatment.
Resources for Bonus – Inside Mentalization-Based Treatment: Borderline & Narcissistic Personality Disorders (308)Download page – Free worksheets and handouts from the book
Mentalization Coach App – The first mobile app for mentalization and MBT,
adapted from my new book
Mentalization-based Treatment for Pathological Narcissism – Handbook
Mentalization-based Treatment for Personality Disorders – A practical guide
Cambridge Guide to Mentalization-based Treatment
Anna Freud Centre – The worldwide training hub for mentalization-based
treatment (MBT)
NPD Basic – A free guide to narcissistic personality disorder
MBT Boston – An organization that Robert co-founded that offers training and supervision to clinicians across the world in MBT
MBT USA – A consortium of MBT providers and organizations in the United
Robert’s faculty page at McLean Hospital
Instagram: @RobertDrozek
Mentalization book – Facebook page
Get your copy of Mentalization: Utilizing Reflection to Heal from Borderline Personality Disorder here!
Looking for our Upcoming Events? Click here!!Our Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW!Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
- Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout
- Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s – Next Q&A Coming September 2026!
Borderline and narcissism are often misunderstood—this episode separates myth from science.Robert Drozek explores the science behind borderline and narcissistic personality disorders, separating common myths from current research. Together, he and Sue discuss attachment, trauma, genetics, parenting, evidence-based treatments, and why understanding these often misunderstood conditions can bring greater compassion, hope, and healthier relationships.
“Borderline is driven by a need to reconnect.” – Robert P. Drozek, LICSW
Time Stamps for Challenging Personalities: Understanding Borderline & Narcissism with Robert Drozek (307)04:14 Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder
09:25 Exploring narcissism: Definitions and types
13:29 Vulnerable vs. grandiose narcissism
18:56 The Role of Trauma in Personality Disorders
22:25 Parenting styles and their impact on narcissism
27:14 Identifying narcissism in relationships
33:34 Treatment approaches for Borderline Personality Disorder
36:45 Challenges in treating Narcissistic Personality Disorder
45:26 Navigating relationships with narcissistic individuals
About our Guest – Robert P. Drozek, LICSWRobert P. Drozek, LICSW is the clinical director of the Mentalization-Based Treatment Clinic at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts. He is a teaching associate in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, specializing in the treatment of
borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. He is author of the new book, Mentalization: Utilizing reflection to heal from borderline personality disorder—the first book for the general public about
mentalization-based treatment.
Resources for Challenging Personalities: Understanding Borderline & Narcissism with Robert Drozek (307)Download page – Free worksheets and handouts from the bookMentalization Coach App – The first mobile app for mentalization and MBT,
adapted from my new book
Mentalization-based Treatment for Pathological Narcissism – Handbook
Mentalization-based Treatment for Personality Disorders– A practical guideCambridge Guide to Mentalization-based Treatment
Anna Freud Centre – The worldwide training hub for mentalization-based
treatment (MBT)NPD Basic – A free guide to narcissistic personality disorderMBT Boston – An organization that Robert co-founded that offers training and supervision to clinicians across the world in MBTMBT USA – A consortium of MBT providers and organizations in the UnitedRobert’s faculty page at McLean HospitalInstagram: @RobertDrozek
Mentalization book – Facebook pageGet your copy of Mentalization: Utilizing Reflection to Heal from Borderline Personality Disorder here!
Please support our sponsors – they keep our podcast free and accessible to all! SimplePractice is an all-in-one EHR that is HIPPA compliant, HITRUST certified and built specifically for therapists.
If you are ready to simplify the business side of your practice, now is a great time to try SimplePractice. Start with a 7-day free trial, then get 50% off your first three months. Just go to SimplePractice.com/TU to claim the offer.
Beyond Attachment Styles – Deepening Security in Yourself and Fostering More Secure Relationships Course available NOW! Everyone’s heard of attachment styles – but you likely don’t know how much the popular press gets wrong and what the science actually says about how to improve your relationships long term (including how we relate to ourselves). This course is for anyone wanting to more deeply understand attachment (styles vs patterns), unconscious defense activation patterns, implicit scripts… and most importantly, what to do once you do get activated! Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s! Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout.
As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
Or read Marriott & Kelley’s critically-acclaimed book, Secure Relating: Holding Your Own in an Insecure World (HarperCollins,2023)
for the most in-depth experience of learning about Secure Relating.
Therapists love it, but it’s accessible to everyone. If you aren’t interested in the background science, just start at Part 2 and we will be talking directly to you – it’s fun!
You are invited! OK for those of you who refer others to the pod, use it professionally or consider yourself nerdy and just love this stuff, hello, you are our people!Join our exclusive community to get exclusive bonus content, early access to training opportunities, and an ad-free, private podcast feed. It’s this warm community that allows us to donate half of all corportate profits to mental health access for marginalized peoples. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!
What if your relationship struggles aren’t just personal—but shaped by the systems you live in?Together, Akilah Riley Richardson and Sue Marriott challenge traditional Western therapy models, discuss the importance of “responsible externalizing,” and explore how therapists can create space for grief, imagination, and genuine connection instead of trying to fix what cannot simply be solved.
Akilah Riley Richardson returns to explore how systemic trauma quietly shapes our relationships, nervous systems, and sense of self. Drawing from her work with marginalized couples, she introduces the concept of relational privilege and explains why healing cannot be separated from the social systems we live in.
“The experiences of marginalized people are often devalued even by helping professionals, and this text is my dedication to carving a space where we, as practitioners, can ensure that we are of service in a way that is rooted in the realities of our people. It is also a reflection of my obligation to marginalized couples and individuals. My sincere wish for them all is that they are never harmed in therapy but instead uplifted. ” – Akilah Riley-Richardson
Time Stamps for The Hidden Weight of Systemic Trauma: How Oppression Shapes Our Relationships with Akilah Riley-Richardson (306)02:05 The systemic trauma faced by marginalized couples
04:12 Barriers for global south therapists and voices
08:00 Fear, threat, and navigating space as a marginalized person
09:57 Relational privilege and systemic influence
12:03 The role of colonial Christianity in systemic trauma
17:50 The danger of model dogmatism in therapy
20:06 Neurobiological threat and systemic trauma
22:02 Practicing responsible externalizing in therapy
26:07 The grief of systemic trauma and loss
28:04 The limitations of evidence-based models
29:58 The need for imagination and community in healing
31:47 The concept of lostness and liminality in trauma
34:06 The danger of attachment to models and frameworks
35:59 Differentiating systemic from relational reality
38:10 Yoruba and indigenous healing traditions
41:59 The influence of colonialism and imperialism on therapy
43:53 Acknowledge systemic trauma in therapist self-awareness
49:57 Habits of survival and internalized oppression
51:52 The impact of systemic trauma on body and mind
About our Guest – Akilah Riley-Richardson, MSW, CCTPAkilah Riley-Richardson, MSW, CCTP is a dedicated therapist, educator, and researcher with several years of experience. As a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional and STAIR Method Certified clinician, Akilah specializes in relational healing, focusing on the needs of couples and individuals, both in the Caribbean and internationally.Her expertise extends to supporting sexual and racial minorities, ensuring that her practice is inclusive and culturally sensitive. Akilah’s commitment to education and advocacy has led her to consult for esteemed organizations, including NASTAD, I-TECH, CARPHA, and CVC, where she has made significant contributions to healthcare training and community support. She has presented her work at various prestigious forums, such as the Psychotherapy Networker Symposium, Academy of Therapy Wisdom, Harvard Medical School, Chicago School of Psychology and the Black Mental Health Symposium. From 2012 to 2025, she served as a Social Work Educator at the University of the Southern Caribbean, mentoring future leaders in the field. Currently, she serves as a Research Supervisor and Examiner at the University of the West Indies Global Campus. As the founder of the Relational Healing Institute and the creator of the P.R.I.D.E. model, Akilah is passionate about advancing relational therapies. Her book, “Marginalized Couples in Therapy” reflects this passion.
Resources for The Hidden Weight of Systemic Trauma: How Oppression Shapes Our Relationships with Akilah Riley-Richardson (306)Marginalized Couples in Therapy: Interventions for Healing from Systemic Trauma – Akilah’s new book, use this link for 20% off. Get your copy today!
Akilah’s website – Resources, opportunities and additional information
Please support our sponsors – they keep our podcast free and accessible to all! SimplePractice is an all-in-one EHR that is HIPPA compliant, HITRUST certified and built specifically for therapists.
If you are ready to simplify the business side of your practice, now is a great time to try SimplePractice. Start with a 7-day free trial, then get 50% off your first three months. Just go to SimplePractice.com/TU to claim the offer.
Beyond Attachment Styles – Deepening Security in Yourself and Fostering More Secure Relationships Course available NOW! Everyone’s heard of attachment styles – but you likely don’t know how much the popular press gets wrong and what the science actually says about how to improve your relationships long term (including how we relate to ourselves). This course is for anyone wanting to more deeply understand attachment (styles vs patterns), unconscious defense activation patterns, implicit scripts… and most importantly, what to do once you do get activated! Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s! Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout.
As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
Or read Marriott & Kelley’s critically-acclaimed book, Secure Relating: Holding Your Own in an Insecure World (HarperCollins,2023)
for the most in-depth experience of learning about Secure Relating.
Therapists love it, but it’s accessible to everyone. If you aren’t interested in the background science, just start at Part 2 and we will be talking directly to you – it’s fun!
You are invited! OK for those of you who refer others to the pod, use it professionally or consider yourself nerdy and just love this stuff, hello, you are our people!Join our exclusive community to get exclusive bonus content, early access to training opportunities, and an ad-free, private podcast feed. It’s this warm community that allows us to donate half of all corportate profits to mental health access for marginalized peoples. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!
The leadership skill that changes everythingSpecial guest Amy Holloway explores how trust shapes thriving communities, effective leadership, and long-term economic growth. Drawing from interviews with leaders across the United States, Amy shares the simple but powerful behaviors that build trust, strengthen collaboration, and create meaningful change – whether in organizations, neighborhoods, or entire cities. Together, Amy and Ann discuss the leadership traits that foster connection, the behaviors that erode trust, and why building community starts with intentional relationships.
“Trust-building is within everyone’s power.” – Amy Holloway
Time Stamps for Trust Builders: Leadership That Creates Change with Amy Holloway (305)00:15 Importance of establishing trust in communities
07:32 Trust breakers vs. trust builders
14:18 Characteristics of effective community leaders
19:52 Insights from interviews with local leaders
25:33 Crisis management and community recovery
About our Guest – Amy Holloway, President of Aha!Amy Holloway is the president of Aha!, an economic development consultancy specializing in strategic planning, and a practitioner-in-residence with Harvard Kennedy School’s Reimagining the Economy Project. Over a 30-year career, she has helped more than 200 places design strategies for long-term economic growth and community prosperity. A retired partner at Ernst & Young and leader of the firms national economic development practice, Amy previously founded and led Avalanche Consulting, one of the nation’s leading strategic planning firms. With her upbeat, welcoming style, she brings local leaders together through conversations that spark “aha!” moments and shared action. Her new #1 bestselling book, Trust Builders: The Key To Thriving Communities, is the culmination of Amy’s career-long belief that trust among local leaders is the single most powerful force shaping thriving communities. Amy lives in Asheville, North Carolina. In her free time, she enjoys hiking, painting, and teaching Pilates.
Resources for Trust Builders: Leadership That Creates Change with Amy Holloway (305)Trust Builders: The Key to Thriving Communities – Get your copy of Amy’s book today!!
Aha! Advisor – Aha! is where leaders unite to make a lasting impact, learn more
Trust Strengths Assessment – Take your assessment here!!
Reimagining the Economy Project, Harvard Kennedy School – Rohan Sandhu, Tony Ditta, Monserrat Magana Ocana
The Social Capital Atlas – Raj Chetty, Matthew O. Jackson, Theresa Kuchler, Johannes Stroebel. Abigail Hiller, Sarah Oppenheimer * The Opportunity Insights Team
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others. Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s! Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!
The therapy conversation we don’t have enough.Dr. Sabrina N’Diaye shares a holistic approach to healing that blends spirituality, therapy, ancestral wisdom, and community connection. Together, we explore the transformative power of writing, forgiveness, and intentional rituals, while discussing how self-love, collective healing, and honoring every emotion can help us reconnect with ourselves and move through trauma with greater compassion and resilience.
“Each day, I commit to loving myself more deeply than the day before. And I’m loving the journey.” – Dr. Sabrina N’Diaye
Time Stamps for Healing Through Spirituality, Writing, and Connection with Dr. Sabrina N’Diaye (304)02:37 The significance of spirituality in therapy
05:16 The power of writing and journaling
07:48 Exploring ancestral connections
10:36 Lessons from Big Mama
13:14 Forgiveness as a path to healing
18:37 The role of imagery in therapeutic practice
21:14 Connecting with ancestors and spiritual figures
33:49 Exploring Genograms for healing
36:52 The body as a resource in healing
38:49 Challenging patriarchy and racism in therapy
45:22 The importance of community healing
51:11 Creating circles of connection
About our Guest – Dr. Sabrina N’Diaye Dr. Sabrina N’Diaye is a pioneering thought leader in integrating spirituality with psychotherapy. As an integrative therapist, storyteller, and peacebuilder, she blends ancient spiritual practices with the latest scientific research and wisdom to guide others on their healing journeys. She holds a PhD in Mind-Body Medicine from Saybrook University, where her research focused on the use of guided imagery as a healing tool for African-American women with chronic STIs. She is also the founder of The Heart Nest Center for Peace and Healing, where she lovingly serves women, couples, and small groups. A passionate storyteller, Dr. Sabrina is a strong advocate for the power of narrative in the healing process. She believes that sharing stories is a powerful tool for connecting with others and fostering community healing. This belief is central to her workshops and public speaking engagements, where she encourages participants to explore and share their own stories as pathways to personal and collective healing. Sabrina has taught trauma healing and self-care to healthcare professionals and community leaders around the globe, and spent 13 years as a Lead Clinician for community-wide trauma programs in the Middle East, Africa, Central Asia, and all over the U.S. In 2022, she co-launched Embracing Buffalo, a project specifically designed to address the aftermath of the May 14th massacre of African-Americans in East Buffalo. Dr. Sabrina is a highly-respected member of the treatment community, frequently lecturing on topics such as peacebuilding, spirituality, self-care for healers, imagery, writing, and the transformative power of connection. Her many audiences include police departments, correctional facilities, school systems, flight attendants, healing artists, peacebuilders, and aspiring writers. Her first book, Big Mama Speaks: Love Lessons from a Harlem River Swan, draws on her maternal grandmother’s resilience in overcoming trauma and chronic illness. Dr. Sabrina is deeply passionate about mentoring other therapists in creating fulfilling careers while serving humanity.
Resources for Healing Through Spirituality, Writing, and Connection with Dr. Sabrina N’Diaye (304)The Heart Nest Institute – Additional resources, information, programs, group opportunities, and more
Big Mama Speaks: Love Lessons from a Harlem River Swan – Sabrina’s book, purchase your copy today!
Psychotherapy Networker – Articles and other content from Sabrina
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others. Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s! Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!! Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!
OCD isn’t just about managing symptoms—it’s about understanding the parts beneath themIn the third and final part of our OCD series, expert Melissa Mose explores the complexities of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), discussing evidence-based treatments like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) and how Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy can complement traditional approaches. Drawing from both professional expertise and personal experience, Melissa shares practical strategies for navigating OCD, while highlighting the roles of self-leadership, compassion, and understanding the different “parts” that influence thoughts, fears, and behaviors.
“ERP has been shown to be the most effective treatment. Exposures help the brain rewire and learn resilience.” – Melissa Mose
Time Stamps for The Hidden Parts of OCD: ERP, IFS, and Self-Leadership with Melissa Mose (303)00:12 Introduction to OCD and treatment
02:58 Understanding exposure and response prevention (ERP)
08:13 The role of the therapist in ERP
10:45 Integrating internal family systems (IFS) with ERP
13:30 The impact of shame in OCD
16:09 Differentiating reassurance from compulsions
36:25 Understanding exiled parts in therapy
40:58 Obsessive and compulsive parts: A closer look
43:38 Navigating the helicopter parent dynamic
47:40 Differentiating between anxiety and OCD
55:45 The connection between attachment and OCD
About our Guest – Melissa Mose, LMFTMelissa Mose is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Los Angeles since 1995. She has specialized in the treatment of OCD and anxiety since 2011 and currently trains and supervises associates in her group practice. Melissa is also an Internal Family Systems therapist. She is Level 3 trained and Certified and an IFSI-approved clinical consultant. She has served on staff as a PA for multiple Level 1 and Level 2 experiential IFS trainings through the IFS Institute. Melissa’s experience as the parent of a child with OCD led her to specialize in the treatment of individuals with anxiety and OCD as well as their families. She is a graduate of the IOCDF’s general, pediatric and advanced Behavior Therapy Training Institutes (BTTI) as well as the Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) program and Cognitive-behavioral Intervention for Tics training (CBIT). Her fifteen years of experience prior to that specialization provided a broad foundation of skills and approaches that infuse her integrative approach. With a background in family systems and mindfulness practices, she became driven to find more compassionate and accessible treatment for OCD. Melissa has developed an integrative approach that utilizes an IFS framework to provide evidence-based exposure therapy for OCD. She is an international speaker and educator on obsessive compulsive disorder and its treatment, and she is currently the president of the board of directors of OCD Southern California, an affiliate of the International OCD Foundation. In her role on the board of OCD SoCal advocates for individuals with OCD, hosts speakers’ series, trainings, and one of largest virtual OCD conferences worldwide. It is her mission to raise awareness, improve early identification and greater treatment accessibility for individuals with OCD and their families.
Resources for The Hidden Parts of OCD: ERP, IFS, and Self-Leadership with Melissa Mose (303)Melissa’s website – Resources & information
IFS for OCD Clinician’s Guide – Melissa’s book – Internal Family Systems for OCD: A Clinician’s Guide www.OCDSoCal.org – Melissa is president of OCD Southern California
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others. Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s! Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!! Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!
Please support our sponsors – they keep our podcast free and accessible to all! A coffee alternative with 4 adaptogenic mushrooms and ayurvedic herbs. With only a fraction of caffeine as a cup of coffee, you get energy without the anxiety, jitters, or crash of coffee
Go to mudwtr.com/tu to support the show and use code TU for 15% off
Patreon/Supercast Special Release –Bonus – Living Beyond the OCD Loop with Ally Kristan (302)This is a sneak peek of our episode with Ally Kristan, and part two of our three part series on OCD – available only on our Premium Supercast and Patreon platforms. For as little as $5/month you can have access to special releases like this one, first-to-know about upcoming events and discounts and an ad-free feed.Click here to join & finish the episode!!
What is OCD really like beyond the stereotypes?In part two of our three part series on deepening the understanding OCD, Marine biologist and author Ally Kristan shares her lifelong experience living with OCD, challenging common misconceptions that reduce the disorder to cleanliness or organization. Ally discusses the intrusive thoughts, compulsions, shame, and relentless search for certainty that characterize OCD, as well as the relief of finally receiving a diagnosis and effective support. Together, Ally and Dr. Ann Kelley explore themes of control, uncertainty, mindfulness, relationships, self-compassion, and how healing can come from understanding—not fighting—the parts of ourselves that struggle. The episode offers an honest, hopeful look at living with OCD and finding ways to transform fear into meaning and connection.
“We’re not out of touch with reality. We know that what we’re doing doesn’t make sense, but we just can’t help doing it anyway.” – Ally Kristan
Time Stamps for Bonus – Living Beyond the OCD Loop with Ally Kristan (302)06:34 Personal journey: Discovering my OCD
11:34 Therapeutic insights: The role of specialists
16:19 The OCD loop: Understanding the cycle
23:01 Transforming OCD: Finding positive outlets
31:03 Radical acceptance and its challenges
35:10 Finding Authenticity in Confrontation
42:23 Transforming compulsions into positive rituals
52:28 The balance of reassurance in relationships
55:59 The intersection of OCD and career choices
58:00 Lessons from penguins: Resilience and love
01:00:54 Conservation concerns: The krill catastrophe
01:07:28 Coping tools and resources for OCD
About our Guest – Ally Kristan Ally Kristan is a marine conservation biologist, Antarctic expert and OCD advocate originally from Raleigh, North Carolina. She holds a B.S. in Marine Biology from UNC Wilmington and an M.S. in Oceanography & Coastal Sciences from Louisiana State University. A salient voice for wildlife protection, Ally has appeared in National Public Radio (NPR), National Audubon Society and Hakai Magazine. Her work has brought her from a sea turtle hospital in North Carolina to whale watch boats in Maui to raucous seabird colonies in Florida, then from the U.S. National Science Foundation in Washington D.C. to McMurdo Station, Antarctica. Ally now resides on the North Carolina coast where, when not working in the lab, she can be found amongst animals.
Resources for Living Beyond the OCD Loop with Ally Kristan (302)Ally Kristan’s website – Additional resources & information
Get your copy of her book, “Braving the Waves” here!!
Looking for our Upcoming Events? Click here!!Our Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW!Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
- Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout
- Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s
You can’t think your way out of OCDIn part one of our three-part series on Anxiety and OCD, Dr. Jon Abramowitz helps us understand why intrusive thoughts are normal, how OCD turns them into a source of distress, and what keeps the cycle going. We explore uncertainty, reassurance-seeking, relationship dynamics, and the research-backed treatments that help people reclaim their lives from OCD.In this conversation, we unpack the surprising truth about intrusive thoughts, why reassurance often backfires, and how learning to tolerate uncertainty can be a powerful path toward recovery.
“There is no such thing as absolute certainty.” – Dr. Jon Abramowitz
Time Stamps for Why Certainty Isn’t the Answer: OCD, Intrusive Thoughts & Recovery with Dr. Jon Abramowitz (301)02:40 Understanding anxiety and its disorders
05:46 Distinguishing normal anxiety from OCD
08:21 The nature of obsessional thoughts
14:09 The cycle of OCD and compulsions
16:53 The role of exposure and response prevention
19:44 Understanding scrupulosity in OCD
25:25 Treatment approaches for OCD
33:34 Managing distress in OCD therapy
36:55 Understanding control and uncertainty in OCD
40:41 Distinguishing OCD from Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
50:02 Supporting loved ones with OCD
About our Guest – Dr. Jon Abramowitz (301)Jonathan (Jon) Abramowitz, Ph.D., is Professor and Director of Clinical Training in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. His research and clinical work focuses on obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and anxiety disorders, including fears and phobias, health anxiety, and panic attacks. He has authored over 350 scientific publications and 20 books, which have been translated into several languages. He served as President of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies and as Editor or Associate Editor of several academic journals. Dr. Abramowitz has received wide recognition for his scholarly work and contributions.
Resources for Why Certainty Isn’t the Answer: OCD, Intrusive Thoughts & Recovery with Dr. Jon Abramowitz (301)Dr. Abramowitz website – Resources and information
OCD resources for clinicians and consumers
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others. Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s! Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!! Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!
Celebrating 300 episodes with one of the hardest relationship skills: feedback.Sue and Ann reflect on a decade of podcasting and dive into one of the the most challenging parts of any relationship: giving and receiving feedback. Through candid personal stories, humor, and clinical insight, they explore how attachment history, defensiveness, trauma, and vulnerability shape the way we handle conflict and communication. This conversation explains why feedback can feel so threatening, how couples get stuck arguing facts instead of feelings, and why repair—not perfection—is the foundation of healthy relationships.
“Feedback is a bid for connection.” – Sue Marriott, LCSW CGP
Time Stamps for 300 Episodes In: Why Feedback Is So Hard (300)01:56 The challenge of feedback: Giving and receiving
07:29 Understanding the difficulty of giving feedback
11:06 The fear of feedback: Avoidance and anticipation
16:15 The overestimation of awareness: Why we hold back
26:32 Navigating the receiving end of feedback
32:34 Impact over intent: The key to effective communication
34:54 Navigating feedback and racial sensitivity
41:08 Defensiveness in relationships
52:09 The role of trauma in relationships
Please support our sponsors – they keep our podcast free and accessible to all! A coffee alternative with 4 adaptogenic mushrooms and ayurvedic herbs. With only a fraction of caffeine as a cup of coffee, you get energy without the anxiety, jitters, or crash of coffee
Go to mudwtr.com/tu to support the show and use code TU for 15% off
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others. Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s! Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!! Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!
Sex can feel complicated when our parts get involvedPatricia Rich introduces the concept of self-led sexuality — approaching sexuality from curiosity, compassion, and connection rather than fear or conditioning. She explains how understanding our internal “parts” can help individuals navigate conflicting desires, deepen consent, and create greater safety within themselves and their relationships. Explore the complexities of sexuality, emphasizing the importance of self-led sexuality and the integration of Internal Family Systems (IFS) in sexual therapy. The conversation also examines the broader cultural forces that influence sexuality, including capitalism, gender expectations, and the silence many therapists themselves experience around sexual topics. Grounded in both clinical insight and humanity, this episode offers a refreshing framework for understanding sexuality as a space for healing, embodiment, and authentic connection.
“Listening to our desires doesn’t mean we have to act on them all. Simply acknowledging the parts of ourselves who hold those desires and validating their longings can bring inner connection and vitality.” – Patricia Rich, LCSW CST-S
Time Stamps for Bonus – Self-Led Sexuality: Reclaiming Intimacy Through IFS with Patricia Rich, LCSW CST-S (299)01:51 The challenges of discussing sexuality
07:53 Integrating IFS into sexual therapy
13:39 The positive intentions of our parts
22:17 Self-led sexuality: Leading from within
28:01 Therapists’ relationship with sexuality
35:51 The six S’s of sexual self-energy
40:28 Creating Safety in Sexual Conversations
45:03 Exploring sensuality and its barriers
01:01:10 Exploring exiled parts and performance pressure
01:05:07 The concept of internal consent
01:11:36 Cultural influences on sexuality and self-perception
About our Guest – Patricia Rich, LCSW, CST-S (She/Her)
Patricia Rich, LCSW, CST-S (she/her) is an IFS Institute Certified Level 3 IFS Therapist and Approved Consultant and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Supervisor. She has developed a unique integrative model for Self-Led Sexuality to help people findmore ease, joy, and confidence in the bedroom and beyond. She has originated IFS- informed concepts such as Internal Consent and The Six S’s of Sexual Self-Energy. Patty has presented at the IFS Annual Conference, taught a module for the IFS Institute Online Continuity program, led workshops internationally, and authored a chapter in Altogether Us: Integrating the IFS Model with Key Modalities, Communities and Trends. She offers training and consultation to professionals and loves helping people to BeHold and Lead their Internal Sexual Systems (BLISS)TM. She hosts “Self-Led in Bed: An IFS & Sexuality Podcast” and lives in the Philadelphia area where she also has a private practice. You can get her free guide to The Six S’s and learn more about her offerings at www.patriciarich.com or follow her on Instagram @patriciarichconsulting.
Resources for Bonus – Self-Led Sexuality: Reclaiming Intimacy Through IFS with Patricia Rich, LCSW CST-S (299)Self-Led in Bed: An IFS & Sexuality Podcast – Patricia’s podcast
Patricia’s website – Information & resources
IFS Integration: A Comprehensive Guide to Applying Internal Family Systems Across Modalities, Populations, and Clinical Presentations – Check out Patricia’s chapter in this book
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others. Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s! Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
What does it mean to belong to more than one world at once?Sahaj Kohli—founder of Brown Girl Therapy and author of What Will People Say?—explores the emotional complexity of bicultural identity, the immigrant experience, and the hidden pressures of being “culturally enough.” Together, we explore how culture shapes mental health, why many therapy models miss the mark for marginalized communities, and what truly culturally responsive care can look like. Sahaj also shares how social media became a lifeline for connection, community, and healing for people navigating multiple identities. This episode offers powerful insight for therapists, helpers, and anyone balancing family expectations, identity, and belonging across cultures.
“Collectives are made of individuals, and we can’t be our best selves within those collectives and in those roles if we are not also taking care of ourselves. Yet we can’t be our best selves as individuals without considering the collective and our communities.” – Sahaj Kohli
Time Stamps for Between Two Worlds: Navigating Bicultural Identity with Sahaj Kohli (298)03:46 Cultural identity and the immigrant experience
07:28 The birth of Brown Girl Therapy
11:22 Understanding the dominant narrative
15:07 Cultural differences in communication and boundaries
19:05 Cultural responsiveness in therapy
26:49 The burden of cultural “enoughness”
29:11 Navigating pride and shame in biculturalism
31:08 Grief and loss in cultural transition
39:20 Resources for bicultural and multicultural understanding
About our Guest – Sahaj Kohli MA.Ed, LGPC, NCC Sahaj Kohli by Beowulf Sheehan
Sahaj Kaur Kohli MA.Ed, LGPC, NCC is an award-winning therapist and mental health educator. She is the founder of Brown Girl Therapy (@browngirltherapy), the first and largest mental health and wellness community organization for adult children of immigrants, an advice columnist for the Washington Post, and host and creator of the limited series podcast, So We’ve Been Told. Sahaj is also author of the book, “But What Will People Say: Navigating Mental Health, Identity, Love and Family Between Cultures” named one of Audible’s “best of” in 2024. With a 6+ year career in journalism under her belt, Sahaj’s passion lies at the intersection of narrative storytelling and mental health advocacy. You can follow Sahaj’s writing on Substack: Culturally Enough. is a resource for the community and The Bicultural Brief is a resource for clinicians who want to be more culturally responsive in their care. Sahaj’s words and work have been featured across media, like in Today, NPR, Good Morning America, CNN, The New York Times, and others. Sahaj also serves as a corporate consultant, educator and international speaker.
Resources for Between Two Worlds: Navigating Bicultural Identity with Sahaj Kohli (298)@BrownGirlTherapy – Sahaj’s Instagram profile
Sahaj’s Website – Resources, information, events & more
But What Will People Say? Navigating Mental Health, Identity, Love, and Family Between Cultures – Get your copy today!!
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others. Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s! Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!! Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!
Patreon/Supercast Special Release –Bonus – The 5 Phases of Divorce: From Heartbreak to Healing with Oona Metz (297)This is a sneak peek of our episode with Oona Metz – available only on our Premium Supercast and Patreon platforms. For as little as $5/month you can have access to special releases like this one, first-to-know about upcoming events and discounts and an ad-free feed.Click here to join & finish the episode!!
Divorce Isn’t One Moment—It’s 5 PhasesTherapist and author Oona Metz draws on three decades of experience supporting women through divorce. She breaks down the emotional arc of separation through her five-phase model, offering a clear lens into the grief, upheaval, and eventual growth that can unfold. The episode also explores common misconceptions, practical guidance for clinicians and individuals, and the powerful role of support groups in the healing process.
“Well meaning friends and family who are not divorced often can’t grasp the weight of uncertainty that coincides with dismantling a family. No one brings a lasagna or sends flowers when a marriage dies.” – Oona Metz, LCSW CGP
Time Stamps for Bonus – The 5 Phases of Divorce: From Heartbreak to Healing with Oona Metz 06:40 Contemplating divorce: The struggle and decision-making process
12:22 The five phases of divorce: Understanding heartbreak
26:03 Mending: Healing and self-care after divorce
28:14 Navigating parenting through divorce
30:54 The process of letting go
54:28 Supporting friends through divorce
About our Guest – Oona Metz, LCSW CGPI am a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker, a Certified Group Psychotherapist, and a Fellow of the American Group Psychotherapy Association. I have 30 years of experience working with individuals, families, and groups. My private practice offices are located in Brookline and Arlington, Massachusetts. I am active on numerous committees and boards related to group therapy and prioritize ongoing learning in diversity, equity, and inclusion. My practice is focused on individual adults, and group therapy. I specialize in working with women+ who are in transition. Whether transitioning from college to graduate school or work, beginning or ending a relationship or job, becoming a parent or empty nester, or coming out to family and friends, these experiences offer an opportunity for reflection, insight and meaningful change
Resources for Bonus – The 5 Phases of Divorce: From Heartbreak to Healing with Oona Metz Oona’s Website – Resources, trainings & other information
Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women – Get your copy on Oona’s book
Looking for our Upcoming Events? Click here!!Our Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW!Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
- Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout
- Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s
Equanimity isn’t about staying calm—it’s about staying present when it matters mostExplore the role of equanimity, mindfulness, and compassion in navigating an increasingly complex world. Special guest Margaret Cullen alongside co-host Sue Marriott discuss the evolution of mindfulness in modern culture, the foundations of compassion-based practices, and how these approaches can support resilience and emotional balance. Grounded in both clinical insight and lived practice, this conversation offers a thoughtful, accessible perspective on cultivating steadiness and clarity in the midst of ongoing challenges.
“Equanimity is love meeting vulnerability.” – Margaret Cullen, LMFT
Timestamps for Inner Stability in an Unstable World: Margaret Cullen on Equanimity (296)02:10 The evolution of mindfulness in western culture
06:29 Cultural backlash and the search for peace
09:44 The role of social media in our lives
19:09 Equanimity: A deep dive into its meaning
26:00 Recognizing equanimity in daily life
30:13 Practices to cultivate equanimity
37:16 Resources for mindfulness and equanimity
About out Guest – Margaret Cullen, LMFTMargaret Cullen is a licensed psychotherapist and a pioneer in bringing contemplative practices into mainstream settings. She was one of the first ten people to be certified as an MBSR instructor and has taught around the world. As a therapist, she facilitated psycho-social support groups for cancer patients and their loved ones for over 30 years. She has led research studies on the impact of contemplative programs for a wide variety of populations across the US and co-developed the Compassion Cultivation Training with Thupten Jinpa at the Stanford University School of Medicine and the Mindfulness and Compassion Training for military spouses with Amishi Jha at University of Miami. She is the founder of Compassion Corps, a program which brings compassion programs to underserved populations around the world. She also developed Mindfulness-Based Emotional Balance and co-authored a book about it with Gonzalo Brito Pons. She was a Senior Teacher and Curriculum Developer for Humanize, a contemplative-based dyad program founded by German neuroscientist Tania Singer. Margaret is a Mind and Life Institute Fellow, on the advisory board of the Global Compassion Coalition, and has been a meditation practitioner for over 40 years.
Resources for Inner Stability in an Unstable World: Margaret Cullen on Equanimity (296)Margaret’s Website – Additional information, resources, and opportunities
Quiet Strength – Margaret’s newest book, purchase your copy HERE!
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others. Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s! Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!
We don’t heal alone – we heal in connection.Prentis Hemphill, alongside co-host Sue Marriott, traces their path from social organizing to somatic therapy, revealing how personal healing and collective transformation are deeply intertwined. Together, they explore how inherited myths, power dynamics, and collective trauma shape both our inner worlds and our social systems. This episode invites therapists and change makers alike to consider healing as more than an individual process—it’s relational, embodied, and political in impact. Prentis offers grounded reflections and practical tools for working with the body, navigating power, and engaging in healing that extends beyond the self.
“When we are courageous, we can do the unexpected and start to mold the world around a vision bigger than one produced by fear. Every inch of progress, every ounce of love, every truly meaningful action from here on out will happen through courage, not comfort.” – Prentis Hemphill
Time Stamps for Where Personal Healing Meets Collective Change (295)06:15 The interplay of interpersonal and systemic dynamics 09:31 The challenge of updating therapeutic practices 16:49 Impact of myths on human behavior 20:32 Reflections on current political climate and collective trauma 24:10 The myth of “American Exceptionalism” 36:50 Self-care and community engagement 40:07 Resources for healing and transformation
About our Guest – Prentis HemphillPrentis Hemphill is the bestselling author of What It Takes to Heal, a groundbreaking exploration of healing, justice, and transformation. A therapist, somatics teacher, facilitator, political organizer, and writer, Prentis is also the founder of The Embodiment Institute and a leading voice in embodied leadership and collective healing. For over a decade, Prentis has worked with individuals and organizations through their most challenging moments of change—navigating leadership transitions, conflict, and the alignment of practice with values. Grounded in an embodied approach, their work ensures that our intentions aren’t just ideas, but are fully lived, felt, and practiced. Before founding The Embodiment Institute, Prentis served as the Healing Justice Director at Black Lives Matter Global Network and was a lead somatics teacher with generative somatics and Black Organizing for Leadership and Dignity (BOLD). They hold an M.A. in Clinical Psychology and have provided therapeutic services in low-cost mental health clinics, centering marginalized communities. Prentis has contributed to Atlas of the Heart (Brené Brown), The Politics of Trauma (Staci K. Haines), You Are Your Best Thing (edited by Brené Brown & Tarana Burke), and Holding Change (adrienne maree brown). They are also the creator and host of the acclaimed podcasts Finding Our Way and Becoming the People, which have surpassed over a million downloads. At its core, Prentis’ work challenges the complacency of mainstream therapeutic models, infusing healing with the rigor of justice, repair, and accountability. They believe that reclaiming feeling and relationship creates space for true transformation—in ourselves, our movements, and the world. Prentis lives on a small farm in Durham, NC, with their partner, Kasha, their child, and two dogs.
!!NEW OPPORTUNITY!! READING POD STARTING MAY 1ST! Looking to deep dive into Prentis’s book? Co-host Sue Marriott is hosting a weekly Zoom reading pod – with a potential author Q&A at the conclusion. First session starts May 1st. $10/session and $5/session for our Supercast and Neuronerds. Learn more and reserve your spot – HERE!
Resources for Where Personal Healing Meets Collective Change with Prentis Hemphill (295)The Embodiment Institute – Training institute, research entity, and culture change engine that strategically develops people and organizations to be agents of transformation in families, social movements and the environment. Prentis’s Website – Resources and information “Becoming the People” – Prentis’s podcast What It Takes to Heal; Published 2024 by Penguin Random House -Prentis’s book, get your copy today!
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others. Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s. Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!
We’ve normalized not understanding women’s bodies.Dr. Christine Vaccaro helps demystify women’s sexual health – exploring everything from hormones and anatomy to libido and pelvic floor challenges. Together, we break down what’s often misunderstood or overlooked, offering clear, empowering insights to help women better understand their bodies and advocate for their care.
“You don’t want women to have to choose between mental health or sexual health.” – Dr. Christine Vaccaro
Time Stamps for Bonus – Hormones, Libido, and the Missing Conversation About Women’s Bodies with Dr. Christine Vaccaro (294)00:49 Understanding the complexity of women’s sexual health
06:53 Libido and sexual health
09:36 Gender equity in sexual health education
12:36 The Clitoris: Anatomy and function
15:12 Hormones and their impact on sexual health
30:57 Navigating hormonal changes in Perimenopause and Menopause
34:09 The role of Testosterone in women’s health
51:53 Pelvic floor health and its impact on women
58:02 Importance of sexual health awareness
About our Guest – Dr. Christine Vaccaro She is a double board-certified and fellowship trained urogynecologist & reconstructive pelvic surgeon with advanced training in sexual medicine. She is an expert in treating urogynecological conditions and has conducted research on interstitial cystitis (IC), pelvic floor disorders, and clitoral anatomy. Dr. Vaccaro is an active member of both the American Urogynecologic Society (AUGS) and the Society of Gynecologic Surgeons (SGS), where she contributes to multiple committees focused on advancing education and research.Dr. Vaccaro has been practicing medicine for over 20 years in the military, and graduated from the United States Military Academy at West Point in 1999, with a major in Chemistry/Life Sciences, Nuclear Engineering Track. She received her Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine (D.O.) degree in 2003 from the University of North Texas Health Science Center. She completed her OB/GYN residency training in 2007 at Madigan Army Medical Center, Tacoma, WA and her Urogynecology fellowship training in 2011 at Good Samaritan Hospital, Cincinnati, OH. Dr. Vaccaro retired from the U.S. Army with the rank of Colonel, after serving as Fellowship Program Director and Service Chief of Urogynecology & Reconstructive Pelvic Surgery at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center.
Looking for our Upcoming Events? Click here!!Our Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW!Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
- Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout
- Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s
Some feelings can’t be said – but they can be sungAnn Koplow shares her journey as a therapist and musician, discussing the healing power of music, her experiences with a rare heart condition, and the importance of authenticity in therapy. She emphasizes the role of shamelessness in creative expression and how songwriting serves as a therapeutic tool for both herself and her clients. The conversation explores the impact of music on mental health, the creation of community through shared experiences, and the necessity of letting go of shame to embrace one’s true self.
“Every day is a gift. Let go of your shame. Be your authentic self.” – Ann Koplow, LCSW, CGP
About our Guest – Ann Koplow, LCSW, CGPAnn Koplow is a clinical social worker, certified group therapist, and singer-songwriter who uses psychotherapy and music to help people grow and connect. She facilitates six open-access “Coping and Healing” groups a week at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston and is a past president of the Northeastern Society for Group Psychotherapy. She has yet to publish any articles or books about her innovative model for group therapy because she’s better at short-form creations like songs, including “Triggers,” “Everybody’s Somebody’s Asshole,” “Catastrophizing,” “Other People’s Anger,” “Don’t Kill Yourself,” and her protest song “You Don’t Scare Me!” When she shares her songs in her groups, the members appreciate her relatable and accepting messages like “I Left the House Before I Felt Ready” and “It’s Hard to Get Sht Done When You’re Scared Shtless.” Her patients express concern that she will get too famous and leave the groups behind, but that’s just not going to happen. Her album The Singing Therapist — Live at the Lilypad! and her other songs are available on Spotify, Apple Music, and probably wherever music can be found.
Time Stamps for How Music Heals What Words Can’t with Ann Koplow (293)05:23 How Ann navigates life living with a heart condition
12:30 Shameless appeals for applause
19:26 Using music in group therapy
26:16 The power of authenticity and relatability in creative expression
31:15 Healing through creative outlets
Resources for How Music Heals What Words Can’t with Ann Koplow (293)The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally – Ann’s blog
Ann’s Youtube Channel – Check out her music
Ann’s Linktree – Find her social media, blogs, Youtube channel and original songs
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s – next one April 13, 2026!
Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout
As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!
Join us again in Washington, DC for the 49th Annual Psychotherapy Networker!March 19-22nd! In person and online options available. Get your discounted seat HERE!
Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions around suicide.
Triggers Aren’t the Problem—They’re the ClueCo-host Sue Marriott and guest Lisa Firestone examine how attachment wounds, emotional dysregulation, and relational disconnection can quietly escalate into crisis. Together they explore the often-overlooked link between attachment patterns and suicidality, and why understanding your relational blueprint may be one of the most important protective factors you have. Blending research, clinical experience, and practical strategies, this episode offers tools for building emotional resilience, increasing self-awareness, and supporting others through vulnerable moments.
“It is a full-time job to cope with alien elements from both interpersonal sources and societal influences.” – Dr. Lisa Firestone
Myths of Attachment Styles: What Real Science Tells UsFREE LIVE Webinar – March 12Join Ann and Sue as they challenge oversimplified attachment frameworks popularized on social media and explore the dynamic, context-dependent nature of defensive attachment patterns. The attachment spectrum includes cultural patterns as well as unconscious scripts and strategies to update your patterns in real time – tune in to hear more! FREE with an option to purchase 1.5 CE. Click Here to Sign Up!!**
Time Stamps for From Crisis to Connection: Attachment as a Lifeline with Dr. Lisa Firestone (292)05:23 Understanding suicide and self-regulation
11:09 Therapeutic approaches to suicidality
16:17 Navigating attachment styles
27:11 Understanding attachment and security
29:53 Interactive exercise on attachment
40:22 Recognizing triggers in relationships
About our Guest – Dr. Lisa FirestoneLisa Firestone, PhD is a Clinical Psychologist and the Director of Research and Education at the Glendon Association and Senior Editor at PsychAlive.org. She is the author of numerous articles and book chapters and coauthor of the books Self Under Siege, Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice, and Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion. Dr. Firestone is a national and international trainer and presenter on topics including couple relationships, attachment, suicide and violence prevention assessment and treatment Lisa has been involved in clinical training and research in the areas of suicide and violence which resulted in the development of the assessments Firestone Assessment of Self-destructive Thoughts (FAST) and (FASI) and the Firestone Assessment of Violent Thoughts (FAVT) for adults and adolescents. Lisa Firestone is a clinical psychologist in private practice and consultant on the management of high-risk clients.
Resources for From Crisis to Connection: Attachment as a Lifeline with Dr. Lisa Firestone (292)Making Sense of Your Life – eCourse with Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Lisa Firestone (4 CEs)
Challenging the Fantasy Bond – book by Dr. Robert Firestone
Developing Secure Attachment – Two-Part Online Course (2 CEs)
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s – next one April 13, 2026!
Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout
As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!
Join us again in Washington, DC for the 49th Annual Psychotherapy Networker!March 19-22nd! In person and online options available. Get your discounted seat HERE!
What does science actually say about monogamy, desire, and long-term love?Evolutionary biologist Dr. Justin Garcia joins co-host Sue Marriott to deepen our understanding of the myths and realities of modern relationships. From monogamy to consensual non-monogamy, we explore how jealousy and trust function – not as flaws – but as deeply human signals shaped by biology and attachment. Dr. Garcia breaks down how relationships shift over time, especially as we age, and why sexual satisfaction isn’t just about frequency – it’s about novelty, meaning, and connection. We dive into the neuroscience of intimacy, including the roles of dopamine and oxytocin, and revisit the Kinsey scale to better understand the fluidity of sexual orientation. This conversation is a grounded, nuanced look at how passion evolves, and how couples can intentionally cultivate desire, curiosity, and emotional safety over the long haul.
“Humans, the most intimate animal, will always live and die for love. Understanding why gives us the power to find and maintain the loves worth living for.” – Dr. Justin Garcia, a quote from The Intimate Animal
Time Stamps for Why Long-Term Love Gets Complicated: A Scientific Approach with Dr. Justin Garcia (291)00:57 Understanding social vs. sexual monogamy
04:32 The evolutionary perspective on relationships
08:26 Jealousy and relationship dynamics
20:25 Sexuality and aging: A new perspective
28:44 The power of eye gaze and oxytocin
30:30 Understanding aggression: Oxytocin and vasopressin dynamics
39:01 Exploring sexual diversity and the Kinsey scale
About Our Guest – Dr. Justin GarciaDr. Justin Garcia is an evolutionary biologist and international authority on the science of sex and relationships. Since 2019, he has served as the Executive Director of the world-renowned Kinsey Institute, where he is also a Senior Scientist. He holds an appointment as the Ruth N. Halls Professor in the College of Arts and Sciences at Indiana University and is a Founding Co-Director of Human Sexuality and Health at the IU School of Medicine. Dr. Garcia holds a Ph.D. in evolutionary biology and M.S. in biomedical anthropology from Binghamton University and an Executive Certificate in Public Leadership from Harvard Kennedy School.An award-winning researcher and educator, Dr. Garcia has consulted with a variety of industry partners, and he is currently the Chief Scientific Advisor to Match where he provides expertise for the annual Singles in America study. His research has been featured widely in the media and focuses on people’s romantic and sexual lives throughout the life course, especially on integrative biopsychosocial models of variation in courtship, intimacy, and sexual behavior.
Resources for Why Long-Term Love Gets Complicated: A Scientific Approach with Dr. Justin Garcia (291)Justin Garcia – The Kinsey Institute: Biography and other information
The Intimate Animal – Dr. Garcia’s new book, order here!
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s!
Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout
As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!
Join us again in Washington, DC for the 49th Annual Psychotherapy Networker!March 19-22nd! In person and online options available. Get your discounted seat HERE!
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Health starts with what we absorb, not just what we eatDr. Aly Cohen and co-host Dr. Ann Kelley discuss the often-overlooked importance of drinking water quality, the impact of environmental toxins on health, and the connection between gut health and mental well-being. Listen as Dr. Cohen highlights the alarming rise of autoimmune diseases and the role of hormones and chemicals in our health. Learn practical, manageable ways to reduce toxin exposure, while exploring how nutrition, lifestyle choices, education, and community support play a vital role in empowering people to take control of their health.
“You don’t have to wait to be saved. You have everything you need to make informed choices and changes that can protect your health now. – Dr. Aly Cohen
Time Stamps for Nontoxic Guide to Healthy Living with Dr. Aly Cohen (290)08:19 The rise of autoimmune diseases
11:17 Understanding gender disparities in autoimmune disorders
13:52 The gut-brain connection
29:10 The impact of environmental chemicals on health
35:03 Practical steps for reducing toxins
41:43 Understanding organic vs. conventional produce
45:14 The dangers of plastics and their effects
56:11 Understanding drinking water safety
01:01:07 Choosing the right water containers
About our Guest – Dr. Aly Cohen Dr. Aly Cohen is a board-certified rheumatologist and integrative medicine physician, recognized nationally for her expertise in environmental health, and medical education. She is the author of Detoxify: The Everyday Toxins Harming Your Immune System and How to Defend Against Them, which connects the dots between everyday chemicals and the epidemic rise in immune disorders and autoimmune disease…and what we CAN all do about it! She continues to teach, lecture, and practice medicine in Princeton, New Jersey.
Resources for Nontoxic Guide to Healthy Living with Dr. Aly Cohen (290)Detoxify: Live Clean, Reduce Inflammation, and Reclaim Your Health – Purchase Dr. Cohen’s new book
Instagram – @TheSmartHuman
AlyCohenMd – Dr. Aly Cohen’s official website
The Smart Human – The Smart Human official website
The Smart Human – Youtube channel
How to Protect Your Kids from Toxic Chemicals – TEDx
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s!
Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout
As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!
Join us again in Washington, DC for the 49th Annual Psychotherapy Networker!March 19-22nd! In person and online options available. Get your discounted seat HERE!
Please support our sponsors – they keep our podcast free and accessible to all! Talkiatry is a 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, insomnia, and more. Head to Talkiatry.com/TU and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in‑network psychiatrist in just a few minutes.
10 years in and still uncensoredIn this special 10-year anniversary episode, Sue and Ann reflect on a decade of Therapist Uncensored – how it began, how it’s changed, and how the relationships formed have deepened along the way. They share candidly about the influence from our listeners in keeping them curious, accountable, and grounded, as well as the ways their own thinking has evolved through conversations with leading experts and thoughtful audience feedback. Together they explore the joys and tensions of teaching in the mental health space, including the importance of humility, questioning long-held assumptions, and recognizing the limits of any single perspective. This episode is both a celebration and a recommitment – to inclusivity, to amplifying diverse voices, and to ongoing learning in a field that is constantly evolving. And above all, it’s a heartfelt thank-you to the community that has made the last ten years possible.
“The podcast itself was going to be this incredible learning machine for us…and there were times we had to move our butts from expert to ignorant.”
Time Stamps for 10 Years of TU: Growth, Reflections & the Future (289)02:49 The journey of growth and learning
05:29 Bridging knowledge and accessibility
11:09 Challenging the traditional narratives
16:42 Navigating vulnerability in conversations
22:08 Lessons from public mistakes
24:58 The landscape of podcasting and mental health
Resources & Action ItemsNominate your favorite lightbulb moment or episode with our quick survey – therapistuncensored.com/nominationsThe Equalizer that Wasn’t – Lessons Learned After Ten Years of Mental Health Podcasting – Sue’s newest blog for an even deeper dive
$90,990 DONATED to mental health care for BIPOC communities, LGBQI+, trans and genderqueer individuals, artists, musicians and people experiencing homelessness – View HERE!
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s – Next one is January 23rd!
Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout
As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!
Join us again in Washington, DC for the 49th Annual Psychotherapy Networker!March 19-22nd! In person and online options available. Get your discounted seat HERE!
Please support our sponsors – they keep our podcast free and accessible to all! Talkiatry is a 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, insomnia, and more. Head to Talkiatry.com/TU and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in‑network psychiatrist in just a few minutes.
Welcome 2026!Kicking off the new year with a replay episode from our powerful interview with Dr. Stan Tatkin, this discussion dives into inner workings of relationships from a biological and societal perspective, and his book, In Each Other’s Care.Click Here to View the Original Episode Shownotes
Conflict in relationships is inevitable – find out the ins and outs of repair for healthy relationships.We are back with relationship expert, Dr. Stan Tatkin to explore the inner workings of relationships from a biological and societal perspective, and his new book, In Each Other’s Care. All humans are complicated creatures and if we spend enough time with each other, it’s going to get tense. That part is OK, but what happens after arguing disconnection or tension is what really matters.
Sue Marriott & Dr. Tatkin take a deep dive into addressing conflicts, building secure attachments, and abandoning gender stereotypes for a more inclusive discussion. Follow along to explore healthy interdependence, couples’ purpose, and secure functioning.
“A secure functioning partnership works on problems, not each other” – Dr. Stan Tatkin
Time Stamps for In Each Other’s Care – Healthy Relationships 5:44 – Dr. Tatkin’s view on telehealth & virtual therapy
8:36 – How PACT approaches virtual therapy
16:05 – Understanding procedural memory
19:08 – Break down of insecure attachment
22:53 – What does secure functioning look like?
28:48 – Attachment in polyamorous relationships
37:47 – Exploring healthy interdependence in relationships
44:50 – An example of a couple’s purpose
53:41 – The importance of gender inclusivity when talking about relationships
Resources for today’s episode, In Each Other’s Care – Healthy RelationshipsStan Tatkin’s Website – Information about his practice, sessions
The PACT Institute – Dr. Tatkin’s official website
Relationships are Hard, but Why? – Dr. Tatkin’s TedTalk
A free excerpt – from Dr. Tatkin’s new book
@DrStanTatkin – Instagram account
Dr. Stan Tatkin – Facebook Page
@DrStanTatkin – Twitter account
Dr. Stan Tatkin – LinkedIn account
Dr. Tatkin’s newest book.
About our Guest – Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFTClinician, author, researcher, PACT developer, and co-founder of the PACT Institute. Dr. Tatkin is an assistant clinical professor at UCLA, David Geffen School of Medicine. He maintains a private practice in Southern California and leads PACT programs in
the US and internationally. He is the author of We Do, Wired for Love, Your Brain on Love, Relationship Rx, Wired for Dating, What Every Therapist Ought to Know, and co-author of Love and War in Intimate Relationships, and the recent, In Each Other’s Care.
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s – Next one is January 23rd!
Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout
As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!
Join us again in Washington, DC for the 49th Annual Psychotherapy Networker!March 19-22nd! In person and online options available. Get your discounted seat HERE!
A replay episode from our powerful interview with Lisa Kays on how improv can deepen conversations around tough topics like race and oppression.Click Here to View the Original Episode Shownotes
Improv in Therapy and in Life –Explore the power – and sheer fun – of using improvisation in therapy!Dr. Ann Kelley and Lisa Kays discuss how improv can deepen conversations around tough topics like race and oppression. They examine white supremacy culture and show how improv values like collaboration, slowing down, and embracing complexity can challenge these norms. Improv fosters creativity, playfulness, and self-reflection to help reduce defensiveness and strengthen relationships in everyday life, at work, or in our closest relationships. By creating a supportive, collaborative environment, improv deepens connections and helps people tap into a wider range of emotions.
“A culture of improvisation is collaborative – it is nature – you cannot do it by yourself.” – Lisa KaysTime Stamps for Improv in Therapy & Life03:30 The integration of improv and tough conversations
10:03 The origins of improv and its connection to social justice
14:27 Contrasting white supremacy culture and improv culture
19:20 Questioning cultural norms and valuing relationships
25:29 The power of the ‘And’ in joining and connecting
38:27 The power of improv in building secure relationships
53:25 Embracing creativity and letting go of perfectionism
58:12 Creating a culture of support and collaboration
01:05:04 Applying improv in everyday life
01:09:10 Deepening connections and accessing different emotions
About our Guest for Improv Therapy – Lisa Kays LICSW, LCSW, LCSW-CLisa Kays, LICSW, LCSW-C, LCSW, is an independently licensed clinical social worker in Washington, D.C, Maryland, Virginia, Oregon and New Jersey. She obtained her MSW from Catholic University in 2011 and has worked in a variety of clinical settings. Since 2013, she has been in private practice, providing individual, couples and group therapy to adults. She has interest in social work ethic and has published on and leads ethics training on the intersection of technology, social media and social work ethics as well as anti-racism and systemic oppression. Her practice also provides opportunities for other presenters to develop CE trainings on under-taught topics linked to social justice, systemic racism, and oppression. In addition to her traditional psychotherapy work, Lisa was a performing improviser from 2007-2019 and was on the faculty of Washington Improv Theatre from 2008-2016. She developed Washington Improv Theater’s first Improv for Therapist’s class and has offered Improv for Therapists courses, workshops and trainings to individual clinicians, pastors, life coaches, and psychiatrists, as well as clinical agencies. Since its inception, Lisa has trained more than 500 people in the application of improvisation to foster personal growth and stronger and more cohesive groups. Lisa has been invited to lead trainings in improv-informed therapy at the American Academy of Psychotherapists, the Mid-Atlantic Group Psychotherapy Association, the American Group Psychotherapy Association, and at The Psychotherapy Networker, among others. Her work has been featured in The Washington Post and on NBC4. Recently, Lisa launched a humor, humility-infused podcast, “What if Nothing’s Wrong With You?” with co-host Paula D. Atkinson on themes related to therapy, mental health, oppression, patriarchy and how it’s all interconnected.
Resources for Improv Therapy – Lisa Kay’s – Website & Resources
The Fierce Urgency of Now: Improvisation, Rights, and the Ethics of Cocreation (Improvisation, Community, and Social Practice) – by Fischlin, Daniel; Heble, Ajah; Lipsitz, George
Theater Games – Viola Spolin ResourcesRehearsals for Growth – Website and Educational ResourcesDecolonizing Therapy: Oppression, Historical Trauma, and Politicizing Your Practice – book by Jennifer Mullan, PsyDThe Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron – Book and ResourcesFree Play: Improvisation in Life and Art – Nachmanovitch, Stephen
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s – Next one is January 23rd!
Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout
As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!
re a practicing therapist with clients in the community or have LGBTQ-identifying loved ones, this episode is for you. Through a personal and professional lens, this conversation offers new perspectives and shines a light on the significance of staying educated and being an active voice.
Join co-host Sue Marriott and Dr. Shena Young as they dive into liberation psychology and the conflict between intuition and the traditional European model of psychology. Dr. Shena highlights embodying a holistic approach to help heal traumas and deeply root us in our most authentic selves. Whether through connections with nature or the exploration of ancestral traditions, this discussion is enriched with various opportunities to reconnect and liberate our mind, body, heart, and spirit.
Behind every family estrangement is a story of love, hurt, and boundariesDr. Ann Kelley is joined LIVE from Psychotherapy Networker with Dafna Lender, to explore the complex dynamics of parent-child estrangement. Focusing on the emotional and psychological impacts of cutting off family relationships, together they highlight the cultural influences that contribute to these estrangements, the therapeutic perspectives on navigating such situations, and the importance of empathy and boundaries in managing family dynamics. This conversation is about learning to hold both empathy and boundaries – understanding why someone might step away, and how to stay grounded and compassionate in the process. It’s an honest look at the heartbreak, the healing, and the hope that can emerge when families face difficult truths.
Time Stamps for Navigating Family Estrangement: The Space Between Love & Self-Protection with Dafna Lender (284)03:06 Understanding the impact of estrangement
05:58 Cultural influences on family cutoffs
09:14 Therapeutic perspectives on estrangement
17:54 Boundaries and the spectrum of estrangement
32:52 Navigating boundaries and self-protection
46:31 Finding meaning in senselessness
52:21 Exploring values in relationships
About our Guest – Dafna Lender Dafna is a family therapy expert and attachment specialist. Dafna is an international trainer and supervisor for practitioners who work with children and families. She is a certified trainer and supervisor/consultant in both Theraplay and Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP), as well as an EMDR therapist. Dafna’s expertise is drawn from 28 years of working with families in many settings: at-risk after school programs, therapeutic foster care, in-home crisis stabilization, residential care and private practice. Dafna is author of Integrative Attachment Family Therapy (2023) and the co-author of Theraplay the Practitioner’s Guide (2020). She teaches and supervises clinicians in 15 countries in 4 languages: English, Hebrew, French and Spanish.
Resources for Navigating Family Estrangement: The Space Between Love & Self-Protection with Dafna Lender (284)Dafna’s website – Resources, courses & additional information
Integrative Attachment Family Therapy: A Clinical Guide to Heal and Strengthen the Parent-Child Relationship through Play, Co-regulation, and Meaning-Making – Get your copy of her paperback
Theraplay the Practitioners Guide – The definitive guide to Theraplay® for practitioners, officially endorsed by the Theraplay® Institute
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s!
Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout
As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!
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Join Sue Marriott and Dr. Sean Inderbitzen - an autistic psychotherapist and advocate for neurodiversity - as he shares his powerful personal and professional journey in understanding autism. Together, they explore the evolution of autism diagnosis, the intersections between attachment and neurodivergence, and how polyvagal theory can both illuminate and complicate the autistic experience. Dr. Inderbitzen offers insights on self-diagnosis, identity formation, and what truly person-centered therapy looks like for autistic individuals. This conversation highlights the central role of trust, safety, and authentic connection in helping neurodivergent clients thrive. View the full episode shownotes at TherapistUncensored.com/TU283
Healing is political — and storytelling is the revolution.José Rosario shares the transformative role of storytelling in healing and liberation. He invites therapists to move beyond traditional coping frameworks and embrace radical healing – an approach that centers cultural wisdom, intersectional identity, and community empowerment. Together, Sue and José discuss how clinicians can respond to hate-based violence, recognize collective trauma, and actively dismantle systems of harm. José also shares his personal journey toward self-acceptance and the playful practices that sustain his work, offering inspiration for those seeking to uplift marginalized voices through creativity and connection.
“What a disservice it is to silence ourselves when we have so much to give to the world.”– José Rosario
Time Stamps for Storytelling as Medicine: Decolonizing Therapy with José Rosario (282)05:21 Intersectional identities and personal narratives
11:17 Empathy vs. action in therapy
19:36 Dismantling ableism in therapy
23:08 Understanding hate-motivated violence
31:36 The role of therapists in community healing
36:31 Finding meaning in adversity
38:04 The Phoenix Empowered: A call to action
About our Guest – José Rosario Born to young Puerto Rican parents, José Rosario developed Cerebral Palsy as a premature baby. His family’s journey towards equity deeply impacted his mental health. Currently nearing his PhD in Clinical Psychology, his research focuses on cultural trauma in intersectional communities. He is an Interdisciplinary Minority Fellow for the American Psychological Association, member of the Congressional Diversity and Equality Advisory Board for Congressman James Langevin, and member of the Rhode Island Attorney General Community Advisory Board. He has been honored with the Chris Martin Humanitarian Award and the Victoria Lederberg Award for Excellence in Psychology.
Resources for Storytelling as Medicine: Decolonizing Therapy with José Rosario (282)The Phoenix Empowered – Storytelling and education to amplify the experiences of minoritized communities, facilitate an inclusive mental health conversation, and empower systemic change.
Phoenix Unbound – Show hosted by José Rosario
Enjoying this episode? Check out these other similar TU episodes!https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/decolonizing-mental-health-delivery-with-melody-li-part-1-episode-226/
https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/decolonizing-mental-health-delivery-with-melody-li-part-2-episode-228/
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s
Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout
As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!Please support our sponsors – they keep our podcast free and accessible to all! HUGE OPPORTUNITY, No Kidding! $199 instead of $499!
Superpower’s mission is simple: to democratize health and make proactive, preventive care affordable and accessible for every body. So if you’re ready to stop guessing and start taking control of your health, head to Superpower.com to learn more and lock in the special $199 price while it lasts. Use discount code TU at checkout. Superpower.com
Cure is offering 20% off your first order! Stay hydrated and feel your best by visiting curehydration.com/TU and using promo code TU at checkout.
With added vitamin and minerals, and an upgraded probiotic blend, the new formula is more comprehensive than ever, helping to support immune health, gut health, energy, and more! Check it out at drinkag1.com/TherapistUncensored
Can we save our relationships – and our democracy – one conversation at a time?Image: The Project Twins – Art from the Braver Angels, Seattle
Dr. Ann Kelley sits down with Dr. Bill Doherty to explore the idea of “Citizen Therapists” and how therapists — and all of us — can help bridge divides in a polarized world. Together, they dive into discernment counseling for couples on the brink of divorce, the groundbreaking work of Braver Angels in fostering dialogue across political differences, and the skills we all need for hard but healing conversations. This conversation highlights the power of curiosity, respectful boundaries, and understanding – whether in our closest relationships or across society.
“Conflict entrepreneurs, people who make their living using various megaphones to tell us that the people on the other side are evil, and not to be trusted.”– William Doherty
Time Stamps for Saving Relationships in a Polarized World: Bill Doherty on Citizen Therapists & Political Healing (281)08:14 Exploring political divides in relationships
10:58 Braver Angels: Bridging political divides
13:29 The Fishbowl method: Creating safe spaces for dialogue
19:00 Values over policies: Finding common ground
29:13 Boundaries in political conversations
32:43 Understanding political views through stories
37:44 Desire for connection vs. differentiation
44:24 Bringing therapeutic skills to public discourse
51:08 Access to affordable healthcare
01:00:37 Managing family dynamics
01:07:00 Becoming a citizen therapist
About our Guest – Dr. William J. Doherty Bill Doherty is a Professor Emeritus in the Department of Family Social Science at the University of Minnesota. As a therapist, he focuses on couples on the brink of divorce and on political stress in relationships. He has authored 14 books for professionals and the public. Following the 2016 U.S. Presidential election, he co-founded Braver Angels, a citizen initiative bringing conservatives and liberals together to counteract political polarization and restore the fraying social fabric in American society. Bill is the chief designer of the Braver Angels workshops and has conducted sessions all over the country, including for corporations, state legislatures, and the Problem Solvers Caucus in Congress. Braver Angels now has volunteers working in all 50 states. Among his awards is the Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Family Therapy Academy.
Resources for Saving Relationships in a Polarized World: Bill Doherty on Citizen Therapists & Political Healing (281) Braver Angels – Website and resources leading the nation’s largest cross-partisan, volunteer-led movement
“Becoming a Citizen Therapist: Integrating Community Problem-Solving Into Your Work as a Healer” – Purchase your copy by William J. Doherty and Tai J. Mendenhall
Enjoying this episode? Check out these other similar TU episodes!https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu153-how-good-boundaries-actually-bring-us-closer-replay-with-juliane-taylor-shore/
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s
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As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!
Patreon/Supercast Special Release –Bonus – Harnessing “Genius Energy”: The Art of Wise Effort for Growth with Dr. Diana Hill (280)This is a sneak peek of our episode with Dr. Diana Hill – available only on our Premium Supercast and Patreon platforms. For as little as $5/month you can have access to special releases like this one, first-to-know about upcoming events and discounts and an ad-free feed.Click here to join & finish the episode!!
Ann Kelley and Diana Hill dive into the concept of wise effort and its impact on how we manage our energy in both personal and professional life. They explore the difference between life force energy and anxiety, the role of emotional sensitivity, and why community resilience matters. Diana shares insights on how to wisely channel your “genius energy,” break free from stuck patterns, and cultivate compassionate connections that support growth and balance.
“It’s not about doing more, but doing wisely.” – Dr. Diana Hill
Time Stamps for Bonus – Harnessing “Genius Energy”: The Art of Wise Effort for Growth with Dr. Diana Hill (280)09:54 Distinguishing life force from anxiety
19:12 Channeling “genius energy” wisely
26:36 Recognizing stuck energy patterns
34:50 Compassion and common humanity
37:01 Co-regulation and wise-energy use
48:22 Harnessing “genius energy” for change
About our Guest – Dr. Diana HillDiana Hill, Ph.D. is a modern psychologist, international trainer, and a leading expert on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and compassion. Drawing from the most current psychological research and contemplative practices, Diana bridges science with real-life application to help organizations and individuals develop psychological flexibility so that they can grow fulfilling and impactful lives. She is the host of the Wise Effort podcast and author of four books including Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, I Know I Should Exercise, But…: 44 Reasons We Don’t Move and How to Get Over Them, The Self-Compassion Daily Journal, and ACT Daily Journal. She has been featured on NPR, Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today, and numerous other media channels. She lives in Santa Barbara, California.
Looking for our Upcoming Events? Click here!!Our Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW!Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
- Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout
- Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s
Trauma to tech: how technology may be reshaping our approach to therapyBenjamin Fry, a psychotherapist and founder of Khiron Clinics, joins Sue Marriott to discuss his personal experience with trauma and how it influenced his therapeutic work. He talks about building his clinic and exploring innovative approaches like EMDR and somatic experiencing, which led him to help develop the PhysioCam—a technology that allows clients to see their nervous system responses in real time. As mental health treatment continues to evolve with new technologies, Benjamin and Sue explore how education and better access to care can support healing and offer hope to those who need it.
“For many, the body is not a safe place to go to anymore, so they lose the valuable cues that come from these vital evolved pathways. The PhysioCam helps them recover it, like a pair of crutches help people with injuries to walk again” – Benjamin Fry
Time Stamps for Where Entrepreneurship Meets Therapy: Introducing PhysioCam with Benjamin Fry (279)04:22 Benjamin’s personal journey and early life
13:26 Discussing trauma treatment in America
17:37 Establishing the clinic and innovative therapies
21:50 The necessary evolution of trauma treatment
38:51 Introducing PhysioCam: A new tool in therapy
49:15 The importance of psychoeducation
54:44 Khiron clinics and The Invisible Lion
About our Guest – Benjamin Fry, Psychotherapist, Author and EntrepreneurBenjamin is the founder of Khiron Clinics, one of the world’s leading residential trauma-treatment centres, and Televagal, an innovative mental health technology platform. An accredited psychotherapist, couples therapist, speaker, author, and entrepreneur, he has written four books, including The Invisible Lion: How to Tame your Nervous System and Heal your Trauma. With a diverse career spanning psychology, media, and business, Benjamin read Physics and Philosophy at Oxford University and then did an MFA in Film Production at USC, directing a feature-length film distributed by HBO and Paramount. He later went on to set up various enterprises in the hospitality industry before completing an MA in Psychotherapy and Counselling at Regent’s College and an Executive MBA from Oxford University. His first book led to his role as the expert psychotherapist on the BBC series Spendaholics. Benjamin speaks at mental health conferences worldwide, raising awareness of the effectiveness of nervous system-based therapies for treating trauma. He also delivers workshops to help people optimize and heal their relationships through trauma-informe practices and education.
Resources for Where Entrepreneurship Meets Therapy: Introducing PhysioCam with Benjamin Fry (279)Khiron Clinics – Benjamin’s global trauma recovery center, information & resources
The Invisible Lion – Bejnamin’s recent book on taming your nervous system and healing trauma
Televagal – PhysioCam transforms your telehealth sessions into a powerful window into your client’s nervous system
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s – Next Q&A September 5th!
Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout
As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!
This is part 2 of episode 274, Feel It to Heal It: The Science of Interoception with Rebecca Kase – you can listen to part 1 HERE!Patreon/Supercast Special Release –Feel It to Heal It, Continued: Applying the Science of Interoception (278)This is a sneak peek of our part 2 episode with Rebecca Kase – available only on our Premium Supercast and Patreon platforms. For as little as $5/month you can have access to special releases like this one, first-to-know about upcoming events and discounts and an ad-free feed.Click here to join & finish the episode!!In this half of the conversation, Rebecca Kase and the Sue dig deeper into the concept of interoception, emphasizing its significance in therapy and personal well-being. They discuss how our physiological states influence our narratives and the importance of breath in regulating these states. From the roles of implicit and explicit memory in shaping our experiences to how adaptive and maladaptive memories affect our mental health, they highlight therapeutic approaches to updating narratives and the journey of healing and resilience, providing practical tools for therapists and resources for further learning.
“Stay curious… tune into the part of you that has the sense of knowing that something happened, even if you don’t have explicit declarative memory of it… your body remembers that.” – Rebecca Kase, LCSW, RYT
Time Stamps for Bonus – Feel It to Heal It, Continued: Applying the Science of Interoception (278)02:36 The role of breath in physiological state
08:11 The impact of context on physiological responses
10:46 Memory and its influence on our narratives
13:49 Exploring implicit and explicit memories
16:39 Adaptive vs. maladaptive memories
22:27 Therapeutic approaches to updating narratives
30:35 Resources for further learning
Listen to Feel It to Heal It: The Science of Interoception with Rebecca Kase – you can listen to part 1 HERE!https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/feel-it-to-heal-it-the-science-of-interoception-with-rebecca-kase-274/
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s – next Q&A September 5th!
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What if the problem isn’t your body—but the diet culture you’ve been sold?Dr. Ann Kelley and expert Judith Matz unpack the complex relationship between dieting, emotional eating, body image, and weight stigma. Together they challenge conventional views on weight and health, emphasizing that fitness matters more than the number on the scale, and explores why most diets fail both psychologically and physiologically. They also cover the historical roots of fatphobia, the dangers of weight bias in healthcare, and the rise of weight loss drugs like Ozempic. Judith highlights the importance of attuned eating, informed consent, and compassionate care, offering a weight-inclusive approach to healing our relationship with food and body.
“On an individual level, I’d like to see people become free from the diet/binge trap and instead find peace in their relationship with food and their body. On a cultural level, I’d like to see all of us stop putting out messages that blame and shame people about eating and body size.” – Judith Matz, LCSW, ACSW
About our Guest – Judith Matz, LCSW, ACSWJudith Matz, LCSW, ACSW, is a therapist, nationally recognized speaker, and consultant on the topics of diet culture, binge eating, emotional eating, body image, and weight stigma. She is co-author of the new Emotional Eating, Chronic Dieting, Binge Eating and Body Image Workbook, as well as The Diet Survivor’s
Handbook, Beyond a Shadow of a Diet, The Making Peace with Food Card Deck, and The Body Positivity Card Deck. Judith offers continuing education and training for professionals through PESI as well as customized presentations for a variety companies and organizations. Judith’s work has been featured in the media including NPR, The New York Times, Good Housekeeping and Psychotherapy Networker. She has a private practice via telehealth in Illinois where she meets with clients seeking to heal their relationship with food and their bodies. Find her at www.judithmatz.com and on Instagram @judmatz
Resources for Why Diets Don’t Work—and What to Do Instead with Judith Matz (277)Judith Matz – Website, information and resources
Emotional Eating, Chronic Dieting, Bingeing and Body Image: What Every Clinician Needs to Know – Judith Matz’s full day PESI training
Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia – Book by Sabrina Strings recommend by Judith Matz
What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat – Book by Aubrey Gordon recommended by Judith Matz
Anti-Diet: Reclaim Your Time, Money, Well-Being, and Happiness Through Intuitive Eating – Book by Christy Harrison recommended by Judith Matz
Enjoy this episode? Check out other similar topics – https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/disordered-eating-attachment-intuition-cultural-influence-266/
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Patreon/Supercast Special Release –Don’t Cancel – Connect: Loretta J. Ross on Activism with Heart (276)This is a sneak peek of our episode with Loretta J. Ross – available only on our Premium Supercast and Patreon platforms. For as little as $5/month you can have access to special releases like this one, first-to-know about upcoming events and discounts and an ad-free feed.Click here to join & finish the episode!!
If you’re tired of cancel culture but still care about justice – this conversation is for youIn 2022, we had the privilege of having Loretta J. Ross on the podcast to discuss “Calling in the Call Out Culture”. With the publication of her new book, “Calling In: How to Start Making Change with Those You’d Rather Cancel” – we felt this message was just as relevant as ever. Together, Sue Marriott and Loretta J. Ross explore the themes of social justice, empathy, and the importance of dialogue in navigating political divides. Loretta shares insights from her book, discussing the need for compassion and under standing in activism. They delve into the complexities of human relationships, the balance between calling in and calling out, and the significance of individual experiences in shaping political views. The conversation emphasizes the power of community engagement and the role of personal growth in fostering a more just society.
Click here to get your copy!
“I’m not trying to build a bigger call-out culture. I’m trying to build a human rights movement that includes everybody—even the people we don’t like.” – Loretta J. Ross
About our Guest – Loretta J. RossLoretta J. Ross is an activist, professor, and public intellectual. In her five decades in the human rights movement, she’s deprogramed white supremacists, taught convicted rapists the principles of feminism, and, as National Co-Director, organized the second-largest march on Washington (in April 25, 2004, March for Women’s Lives in Washington D.C., surpassed in size only by the 2017 Women’s March). A cofounder of the National Center for Human Rights Education and the SisterSong Women of Color Reproductive Justice Collective, her many accolades and honors include a 2022 MacArthur Fellowship and a 2024 induction into the National Women’s Hall of Fame. Today, Ross is an associate professor at Smith College in Northampton, Massachusetts, and is the founder of LoRossta Consulting, with which she runs “Calling In” training sessions online and for organizations around the country.
Interested in her previous interview? Check out our original discussion on cancel culture – https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/call-out-culture-168/
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
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Use the VCR Method to navigate difficult conversations without retreating or conflicting. In this powerful conversation, one of the most influential voices on racial justice and family therapy, Dr. Kenneth Hardy talks with Dr. Ann Kelley about the VCR Method (Validate, Challenge, Request) for navigating difficult conversations without retreating into silence or conflict. Hardy reveals how White-bodied folks and People of Color/Culture (POC) can move beyond either/or thinking by recognizing their multiple selves – the parts that hold privilege and the parts that experience subjugation – no matter who you are.
Key insights include Hardy’s concept of “invisible wounds” – the unnamed racial trauma that affects people of color daily – and why the expectation for Black people to “take the high road” actually perpetuates harm. Through a real example from a heated workshop exchange with a white student, Hardy demonstrates the VCR approach in action, showing how validation, strategic challenge, and clear requests can keep us connected through rupture rather than defaulting to our most activated, subjugated responses.
This episode offers practical tools for therapists and anyone seeking more authentic, healing-centered conversations about difference in general and particularly, race and privilege. Hardy’s framework challenges us to develop both a racial lens and a clear sense of our racial selves, moving from fragility toward the courage to stay in relationship even when conversations get difficult.
“We all have two dimensions of ourselves- a preferred racial view and a dreaded one.” Dr. Kenneth V. Hardy
“Racial oppression is a traumatic form of interpersonal violence which can lacerate the spirit, scar the soul, and puncture the psyche.” – Dr. Kenneth V. Hardy
Timestamps for Beyond the High Road: New Perspectives on Discussing Race and Privilege with Dr. Kenneth V. Hardy (275)05:13 Invisible wounds and racial trauma
07:40 The importance of naming and acknowledgment
15:38 Developing a racial lens as a therapist
18:16 The complexity of privilege and subjugation
23:50 Case Study: A white woman’s reaction to privilege
26:48 The intersection of class and race
40:14 The VCR Model: Engaging conversations on race
45:39 Compassionate accountability in conversations
51:13 Hope amidst DEI challenges
About our Guest – Dr. Kenneth V. HardyDr. Kenneth V. Hardy is a Clinical and Organizational Consultant at the Eikenberg Institute for Relationships in Newark, DE, where he also serves as Director. He is also the Founder and President of the Eikenberg Academy for Social Justice. He provides Racially Focused Trauma Informed training, executive coaching, and consultation to a diverse network of individuals and organizations throughout the United States and abroad. He is a former Professor of Family Therapy at both Drexel University in Philadelphia, and Syracuse University in New York, and has also served as the Director of Children, Families, and Trauma at the Ackerman Institute for the Family in New York, NY.
Resources for Healing the Invisible Wounds of Racism with Dr. Kenneth V. HardyEikenberg Academy for Social Justice – President Kenneth V. Hardy, website and resources
“On Becoming a Racially Sensitive Therapist: Race and Clinical Practice” – Book by Dr. Kenneth V. Hardy
“Racial Trauma Clinical Strategies and Techniques for Healing Invisible Wounds” – Book by Dr. Kenneth V. Hardy
“The Enduring, Invisible, and Ubiquitous Centrality of Whiteness” – Book by Dr. Kenneth V. Hardy
“Some subtleties of whiteness in the workplace: Steps for shifting the paradigm” – Journal by Dr. Kenneth V. Hardy
Enjoying this episode? Check out many other relevant Therapist Uncensored episodes, only two are listed below (use search bar on our website for anything you are interested in learning). https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/navigating-racial-trauma-part-1-203/
https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/racial-trauma-challenges-traditional-therapy-part-2-sriw-series-ep-3-204-2/
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Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout
As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
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This book on Modern Attachment has an entire chapter dedicated to “When System’s Create Insecurity” to follow up on this topic. Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!
Could interoception, your body’s ability to perceive internal signals like your heartbeat, breathing and emotions, be the missing link in trauma therapy?Sue Marriott is joined by Rebecca Kase to explore how understanding the nervous system—especially the concept of interoception—can support healing from trauma. Rebecca shares her personal story as a survivor and highlights the importance of creating safety, tuning into the body’s internal signals, and approaching somatic work with compassion. Together, they unpack how interoception differs from general perception, why it matters in therapy, and how small, gradual steps can help rebuild connection with the body.
“Stay curious… tune into the part of you that has the sense of knowing that something happened, even if you don’t have explicit declarative memory of it… your body remembers that.” – Rebecca Kase, LCSW, RYT
Time Stamps for Feel It to Heal It: The Science of Interoception with Rebecca Kase (274)02:45 Rebecca’s journey and healing
05:17 Understanding safety and the nervous system
08:15 Exploring interoception
10:46 The role of perception in therapy
13:33 Connecting with the body
16:15 Practical steps for body awareness
About our Guest – Rebecca Kase LCSW, RYTRebecca Kase, LCSW, RYT is a licensed clinical social worker, yoga teacher, author, and nationally recognized expert in trauma therapy. She’s the founder of The Trauma Therapist Institute, where she trains thousands of clinicians each year in EMDR, Polyvagal Theory, and integrative mind-body approaches to healing. Rebecca is the author of Polyvagal-Informed EMDR and self-help book The Polyvagal Solution, which helps readers understand and work with their nervous system to create lasting change. Known for her warmth, clarity, and deep clinical insight, Rebecca brings science to life in a way that’s accessible, empowering, and rooted in real-world healing. When she’s not writing, teaching, or speaking, you can find her nerding out on neuroscience, gardening, or daydreaming about her next horse property.
Resources for Feel It to Heal It: The Science of Interoception with Rebecca Kase (274)The Polyvagal Solution: Vagus Nerve-Calming Practices to Soothe Stress, Ease Emotional Overwhelm, and Build Resilience – Book by Rebecca Kase
Polyvagal-Informed EMDR: A Neuro-Informed Approach to Healing – Book by Rebecca Kase
The Applied Polyvagal Theory Flip Chart – A Psychoeducational tool to harness the power of the vagus nerve
Enjoying this episode? Check out similar topics!
https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/addiction-attachment-the-felt-sense-polyvagal-model-with-jan-winhall-193/
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s – Next Q&A September 5th!
Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout
As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.
Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!
Please support our sponsors – they keep our podcast free and accessible to all! Ann’s FAVORITE! Coffee alternative powered by mushrooms! Right now, you can get 20% off plus a FREE starter kit when you shop exclusively Piquelife.com/tu
Patreon/Supercast Special Release –That “Fraud” Feeling: The Surprising Truth about Imposter Syndrome with Dr. Jill Stoddard (273)This is a sneak peek of our episode with Dr. Jill Stoddard – available only on our Premium Supercast and Patreon platforms. For as little as $5/month you can have access to special releases like this one, first-to-know about upcoming events and discounts and an ad-free feed.Click here to join & finish the episode!!Dr. Ann Kelley is joined by Dr. Jill Stoddard as they unpack the complexities of imposter syndrome—why it shows up, who it impacts most, and how to move through it. Drawing on her expertise in psychological flexibility and values-based living, Dr. Stoddard shares strategies to navigate self-doubt, marginalization, and internalized insecurity. Learn how to reframe discomfort, build a healthier relationship with vulnerability, and use these moments as powerful opportunities for connection and growth.
Photo by Orlando Magazine
“Imposter ‘syndrome’ is not your fault. It’s the result of a system telling you – you don’t belong at the table.”– Dr. Jill Stoddard
About our Guest – Dr. Jill Stoddard Dr. Jill Stoddard is passionate about sharing her expertise in psychology to help people flourish in their work and health. She is an international and TEDx speaker, award-winning former professor, three-time book author, licensed psychologist, coach, and co-host of the Psychologists Off the Clock podcast which is ranked in the top .5% worldwide. Dr. Stoddard is an entrepreneur who founded Flexible Communications, LLC, in Massachusetts, and The Center for Stress and Anxiety Management in California. Her books have been translated into twelve languages and include: The Big Book of ACT Metaphors; Be Mighty; and Imposter No More. Her thoughts have also appeared in the Washington Post, New York Times, Woman’s World, Today.com, Psychology Today, Scary Mommy, Thrive Global, The Good Men Project, Mindful Return, The Boston Globe, and more. She regularly appears on podcasts and as an expert source for various media outlets. She lives in Newburyport, MA with her husband, two kids, and disobedient French Bulldog.
As Central Texas residents, this is highly personal to us in so many ways. We are following up on the absolutely devastating and unprecedented Texas floods with more ways to help from anywhere.I’m thinking of not just the obvious and immediate impact, but of all those actively engaged right now – professional first responders, but also the thousands of regular people pitching in. It’s human connection and grit that will help our communities recover over the next several years. Neighbors (in the largest sense) pulling together are how humans survive natural disasters and we will get through this together. If you are able, please give what you can to help out –Click Here to Donate!!
Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others.
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Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout
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Grounded in research and lived experience, this conversation invites a rethinking of care—away from over-medicalization and toward more accessible, human-centered approaches. Dixon Chibanda shares the powerful story behind the Friendship Bench, a community-based mental health model that centers healing in the heart of local communities. He explores how grandmothers—often overlooked in traditional mental health systems—play a vital role in offering care, connection, and wisdom. Dr. Chibanda discusses the barriers to accessing mental health services, the role of storytelling in the healing process, and the global expansion of the Friendship Bench. Grounded in research and lived experience, this conversation invites a rethinking of care—away from over-medicalization and toward more accessible, human-centered approaches. View this episodes shownotes at TherapistUncensored.com/TU271 - Join our exclusive online community at TherapistUncensored.com/Join
Dr. Monnica Williams alongside Sue Marriott explore the deep psychological toll of racism, focusing on the concept of racial trauma and its cumulative impact on people of color. She highlights the importance of recognizing these experiences within therapeutic settings and the need for diversity in mental health research and practice. The discussion delves into the role of civil courage and meaningful allyship—particularly among white individuals in addressing systemic injustice. Dr. Williams offers insights into the multifaceted nature of activism, the harm caused by microaggressions, and the emotional labor involved in navigating everyday racism. From the fear of law enforcement to the unique challenges faced by white women in activism, Dr. Williams urges practitioners and allies alike to listen deeply, receive feedback openly, and use their privilege to support marginalized communities. Shownotes: www.therapistuncensored.com/TU271 Join online community: www.therapistuncensored.com/join
Let's get real about revitalizing the therapy landscapeAnn Kelley and Sue Marriott are back for a one on one episode, and sharing their personal reflections on mental health, community, and the evolving challenges clinicians face today. From the tension between accessibility and sustainability in therapy, to the influence of corporate models - they discuss the need for creativity in the field. Emphasizing connection, curiosity, and professional growth, they introduce exciting opportunities, updates, and even a new series focused on inclusivity - inviting listeners to find and amplify their unique voice in the mental health space.
Dr. Ann Kelley is joined by Dr. Jean Twenge to discuss her groundbreaking research on generational differences with a focus on how technology—especially smartphones and social media—has transformed communication, relationships, and mental health. They explore how historical shifts and longer life spans contribute to delayed life milestones and what she calls the "slow life strategy." Dr. Twenge highlights the alarming rise in anxiety and depression among Generation Z, which is closely linked to increased screen time and reduced face-to-face interactions. Together they discuss practical steps parents can take to support healthier development and social connection. Join our Neuronerd online community www.therapistuncensored.com/join. Shownotes www.therapistuncensored.com/tu269.
Dr. Aditi Sethi, the founder of the Center for Conscious Living and Dying, shares her profound journey into the realm of death and dying. She discusses the importance of presence, the healing power of music, and challenges faced in community-based end-of-life care. Alongside Sue Marriott, they explore the profound themes surrounding death and dying, emphasizing the importance of embracing death to enhance life. From concepts like ecstatic dying to the role of psychedelics in alleviating fear of death, Aditi shares insights from her experiences as a death doula.
Alongside co-host Sue Marriott, Dr. Dan Siegel explores how loss, vulnerability, and connection shape personal growth and healing. He discusses the science of attachment and personality, highlighting nine adaptive patterns that emerge from non-secure attachment. The conversation also explores how neuroscience sheds light on emotional needs, alongside Siegel’s personal reflections on his own attachment history and path as a professional. Together they unpack how neuroscience, motivation, and community impact therapy. The episode offers practical insights for clinicians, emphasizing a compassionate, non-shaming approach to mental health and the journey toward secure attachment and the feeling of wholeness.
Disordered eating vs. eating disorders, GLP-1, cultural pressures around bodies, and how attachment styles shape eating patterns.
Humanizing the queer experience is vital in art and mediaQuentin Arispe joins Sue Marriott as they share their incredible journey of self-discovery. Exploring themes of gender fluidity, the impact of theater on personal growth, and the balance between masculinity and femininity - they discuss the role of grief in creative expression. Their conversation highlights the importance of authenticity and vulnerability in the creative process, as well as the transformative journey of humanizing the queer experience through art."I think everybody can obtain both their divine masculine and feminine." - Quentin ArispeTime Stamps for The Fluidity of Gender Identity with Quentin Arispe (265)05:50 The impact of theater on Quentin's personal growth17:47 Understanding divine masculine and feminine21:45 The dichotomy of performance and authenticity26:07 The role of grief in creative expression42:07 Embracing duality in grief and joy56:00 Exploring identity through music01:17:05 Humanizing the queer experienceAbout our Guest - Quentin ArispeQuentin Arispe is a versatile musician whose genre-blending sound is both innovative and deeply personal. Quentin explores themes of duality, freedom, and self-expression, challenging societal norms while celebrating authenticity and vulnerability. Featured in Austin Chronicle and performing at venues like The Bitter End in NYC, Quentin has also appeared at festivals such as SXSW and ACL. With influences spanning soul, R&B, indie pop, and pop icons, Quentin continues to leave a lasting mark on music. In 2024, Quentin released "As Above, So Below", a two-part EP series that transitions from introspective indie rock to house-inspired tracks, exploring grief, healing, and liberation.Resources for The Fluidity of Gender Identity with Quentin Arispe (265)"as above,SO BELOW" - Flim by Quentin Arispe"Genre-Hopping Hustler Quentin Arispe Wants to Be in Every Room" - Article from the Austin ChronicleBeyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Next LIVEQ&A coming soon!Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others. Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A's Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!Interested in joining our exclusive community? Get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus a totally ad-free private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!! Please support our sponsors for this episode - they keep our podcast free and accessible to all! Coffee alternative powered by mushrooms! Right now, you can get 20% off plus a FREE starter kit when you shop exclusively Piquelife.com/tuYou’ll get a FREE bottle of AG D3K2, an AG1 Welcome Kit, AND 5 of the upgraded AG1 travel packs with your first order. Check out DrinkAG1.com/therapistuncensored to get startedThank you for being on this journey with us!
Patreon/Supercast Special Release - Disarming the Narcissist: Myths, Truths, & Strategies for Healing with Wendy Behary (264)This is a sneak peek of our episode with Wendy Behary - available only on our Premium Supercast and Patreon platforms. For as little as $5/month you can have access to special releases like this one, first-to-know about upcoming events and discounts and an ad-free feed.Click here to join & finish the episode!!Dr. Ann Kelley and narcissism expert, Wendy Behary, explore the complexities of narcissistic behavior, its development, and the challenges faced by those experiencing relationships with narcissists. Follow along as they dive into the myths, the spectrum of narcissistic traits, and the importance of understanding the underlying insecurities that drive behavior. Behary touches on the cultural implications and how it manifests in society today, as well as practical strategies for individuals to navigate relationships, highlighting the significance of maintaining one's own mental health and well-being.“Narcissism occurs along a spectrum within the human condition. Embodied in human nature itself is a tendency for narcissistic expression... and that isn’t all bad.” - Wendy BeharyAbout our Guest - Wendy Behary With 30 years of professional experience and advanced level certifications, Wendy Behary is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC-DC. She has been treating clients, training professionals and supervising psychotherapists for more than 20 years. Wendy was on the faculty of the Cognitive Therapy Center and Schema Therapy Institute of New York (until the Institutes merged in 2012), where she trained and worked with Dr. Jeffrey Young since 1989. She is a founding fellow and consulting supervisor for The Academy of Cognitive Therapy (Aaron T. Beck’s Institute). Wendy served as the President of the Executive Board of the International Society of Schema Therapy (ISST) from 2010-2014 and served as the Training and Certification Coordinator for the ISST Executive Board from 2008-2010. Wendy Behary has co-authored several chapters and articles on Schema Therapy and Cognitive Therapy. She is the author of an international bestselling book, "Disarming the Narcissist...” translated in 16 languages. The Third Edition was recently released and was selected by Oprah Daily as one of the top books on the subject of Narcissism. Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live with and deal with them. As an author and subject matter expert on narcissism, she is a contributing chapter author of several chapters on schema therapy for narcissism for professional readers. She lectures both nationally and internationally to professional and general audiences on schema therapy, narcissism, interpersonal relationships, anger, and dealing with difficult people. She receives consistent high praise for her clear and articulate teaching style and her ability to bring the therapy to life through dramatic demonstrations of client interactions in the treatment room. Her work industry business speaking engagements focus on interpersonal conflict resolution. Her private practice is primarily devoted to treating narcissists, partners/people dealing with them, and couples experiencing relationship problems. Find Upcoming Events here!!Our Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW!Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others. Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A'sIntegrative Attachment Therapy Course InformationTherapists: THIS is our recommended course experience for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. Use our link for a discount!
Neuroception helps us sense danger and safety without cognitionIn this conversation, Dr. Ann Kelley and Occupational Therapist Kim Barthel explore the conscious evolution of the human spirit, the importance of self-compassion, and the integration of neuroception with therapeutic practices. Through Barthel's book, 'Conversations with a Rattlesnake,' they dive into the significance of sensory integration and attachment in personal development. Using Porges' "Safe and Sound Protocol", they touch on how understanding one's own nervous system and the cues of safety can lead to better emotional regulation and connection with not only oneself, but others. Follow along as they discuss the themes of trauma, healing and the science of connection."Self-compassion is part of the evolution." - Kim BarthelTime Stamps for Neuroception and the Safe & Sound Protocol with Kim Barthel (263)05:32 Conversations with a rattlesnake: A journey through trauma19:57 Understanding sensory integration and attachment33:35 Understanding neuroception and safety34:30 The role of sound in safety cues42:06 The mechanism of the safe and sound protocol55:17 The process of connection and regulationAbout our Guest - Kim Barthel, OTRKim Barthel is an occupational therapist, speaker, multi-disciplinary teacher, mentor and best-selling author who is active in supporting people in many contexts globally. She is passionate about understanding complex behavior, neurobiology, trauma-sensitive practice, sensory processing, attachment, and mental health. An advanced NDT (Neuro-Developmental Treatment) instructor, Kim has 40+ years of practice in helping people to be their best selves. She is a contributor to a number of textbooks on Pediatric Occupational Therapy, NDT, and Trauma, and in 2019 Kim was honored to receive the Award of Merit from the Canadian Association of Occupational Therapy. Kim’s overall mission is to support the conscious evolution of the human spirit.Resources for Neuroception and the Safe & Sound Protocol with Kim Barthel (263)Conversations with a Rattlesnake: Raw and Honest Reflections on Healing and Trauma - Book by Kim Barthel and Theo FleuryKim's website - Resources and information@kimbarthelotr - Kim's InstagramGet your copy of Secure Relating here!!Interested in joining our exclusive community? Get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus a totally ad-free private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!Our Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW!Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others. Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A'sPlease support our sponsors for this episode - they keep our podcast free and accessible to all! Coffee alternative powered by mushrooms! Right now, you can get 20% off plus a FREE starter kit when you shop exclusively Piquelife.com/tuFind the doctor that is right for you, and book an appointment, in person or remotely, that works for your schedule. Go to Zocdoc.com/TU and download the Zocdoc app for FREEIntegrative Attachment Therapy Course InformationTherapists: THIS is our recommended course experience for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. Use our link for a discount!Thank you for being on this journey with us!
Special Release - LIVE panel discussion with Dr. Stephen Porges at the Clinical Conversations webinarAnn and Sue share a special conversation with Dr. Stephen Porges where they explore how modern attachment meets Polyvagal theory. From the evolution of attachment theory to understanding bodily states and how they influence our interactions, they dive into the intricate relationships between emotional expression, brain function, and therapeutic techniques. Together they explore the Safe and Sound Protocol and its role in promoting engagement as well as insights into the application of these techniques both professionally and personally.“If you want to improve the world, start by making people feel safer.” - Dr. Stephen PorgesTime Stamps for How Modern Attachment Meets Polyvagal Theory06:53 The evolution of attachment theory21:07 Broadcasting our states in relationships28:16 Understanding vocal tone and emotional expression39:31 The role of safe and sound protocol in therapy43:52 Accessing regulated states through listening therapies47:31 Exploring the ventral-vagal connection50:21 Applications of SSP in mental and physical healthAbout Our Guest - Dr. Stephen W. PorgesStephen W. Porges, Ph.D., is a Distinguished University Scientist at Indiana University and founding director of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium. A leading researcher in psychophysiology, he has held professorships in psychiatry and neuroscience and has published over 400 peer-reviewed papers. Dr. Porges is best known for developing Polyvagal Theory, which explores the connection between the autonomic nervous system, social behavior, and mental health. He has authored several influential books and created the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), a music-based intervention for improving emotional regulation and social engagement. He is also a co-founder and Ex Officio Board Member of the Polyvagal Institute. Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!Interested in joining our exclusive community? Get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus a totally ad-free private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!Our Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW!Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others. Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A'sPlease support our sponsors for this episode - they keep our podcast free and accessible to all! Coffee alternative powered by mushrooms! Right now, you can get 20% off plus a FREE starter kit when you shop exclusively Piquelife.com/tuCure is offering 20% off your first order! Stay hydrated and feel your best by visiting curehydration.com/TU and using promo code TU at checkout.Compare high quality, in-network doctors, choose the right one for your needs, and click to instantly book an appointment. Go to ZocDoc.com/TU Looking for more? Find Upcoming Events here!!Integrative Attachment Therapy Course InformationTherapists: THIS is our recommended course experience for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. Use our link for a discount!Thanks for stopping by & for being on this journey with us!
Patreon/Supercast Special Release - Taking Sexy Back: A Journey to Empowerment with Dr. Alexandra SolomonThis is a sneak peek of our episode with Dr. Alexandra Soloman - available only on our Premium Supercast and Patreon platforms. For as little as $5/month you can have access to special releases like this one, first-to-know about upcoming events and discounts and an ad-free feed.Click here to join & finish the episode!!Dr. Ann Kelley and Dr. Alexandra Solomon discuss her book 'Taking Sexy Back,' exploring the intersection of gender and sexuality, the impact of societal messages on women's sexual experiences, and the importance of self-advocacy in relationships. They dive into the complexities of desire, body image, and the influence of patriarchy on both men and women - emphasizing the need for emotional awareness and connection in intimate relationships. Explore the evolving landscape of sexuality across generations and the impact of online dating and pornography on sexual experiences."We are taught to serve, to focus on others, but we need to notice our own feelings." - Dr. Alexandra SolomonTime Stamps for Taking Sexy Back: A Journey to Empowerment with Dr. Alexandra Solomon (261)02:47 The intersection of gender and sexuality11:52 Impact of body image on desire14:52 Patriarchy's influence on men and women17:55 Emotional complexity in masculinity28:05 The impact of pornography on sexual experiences36:45 Embodiment and mindfulness in sexuality41:50 Exploring pleasure and connection in relationshipsAbout our Guest - Dr. Alexandra SolomonAlexandra H. Solomon, PhD, is internationally recognized as one of today’s most trusted voices in the world of relationships, and her framework of Relational Self-Awareness has reached millions of people around the globe. A couple therapist, speaker, author, professor, podcast host, and media personality, Dr. Alexandra is passionate about translating cutting-edge research and clinical wisdom into practical tools people can use to bring awareness, curiosity, and authenticity to their relationships. She is a clinician educator and a frequent contributor to academic journals and research, and she translates her academic and therapeutic experience to the public through her popular and vibrant Instagram page, which has garnered over 200K followers. She is an adjunct professor in the School of Education and Social Policy at Northwestern University and is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice. Her hit podcast, Reimagining Love, has reached listeners across the globe and features high-profile guests from the worlds of therapy, academia, and pop culture. She is the award-winning author of Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want, Loving Bravely: 20 Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want, and Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices to Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive.Find Upcoming Events here!!Special Featured event: Ann and Sue are deep diving into clinical application of their work at the Psychotherapy Networker Symposium - March 20-23, 2025. It's an incredible conference - they'd love to see you there!Rethinking Attachment – Using the Attachment Spectrum in Clinical Practice Our Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW!Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others. Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A's Integrative Attachment Therapy Course InformationTherapists: THIS is our recommended course experience for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. Use our link for a discount!Thanks for stopping by & for being on this journey with us!
Desire is a liberating forceDr. Ann Kelley and Shadeen Francis, LMFT unpack the intricate nature of desire, extending beyond just the sexual realm. They unpack the challenges in identifying true desires, the role of embodiment in self-awareness, and the key distinction between wanting and liking. Together they discuss intimacy, self-discovery and communication - with an emphasis on the need for negotiation and authentic connection in sexual experiences."The simplest of all luxuries is the freedom to pursue your pleasure." - Shadeen FrancisTime Stamps for Beyond Sex: Understanding Desire05:15 The challenge of identifying desire17:58 The nuances of wanting vs. liking25:01 Desire in sexual contexts35:07 Negotiating wants in relationships44:41 The impact of technology on desire56:30 Desire as a tool for liberationAbout our Guest - Shadeen Francis, LMFT, CSTShadeen Francis is a licensed marriage and family psychotherapist and a board-certified sex therapist. Her expertise spans the domains of mental health, emotional intelligence, and the intersection of sexual wellness and social justice. A sought-after voice in her field, Shadeen has been featured on major networks including ABC, NBC, and CBS, and has been the subject matter expert for prominent brands such as Essence, Bumble, Tinder, and Teen Vogue. Shadeen's work extends beyond the therapy room, influencing nationally implemented curricula, global media strategies, and public health policies. Known for her signature brand of warmth and humor, Shadeen’s work is inspired by her commitment to helping people live lives full of peace and pleasure.Resources for Beyond Sex: Understanding Desireshadeenfrancis.com - Shadeen's website, resources, and other informationhello@shadeenfrancis.com - The best way to contact Shadeen@shadeenfrancis - Shadeen's Instagram handleGet your copy of Secure Relating here!!Interested in joining our exclusive community? Get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus a totally ad-free private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!Find Upcoming Events hereFeatured event: Ann and Sue are deep diving into clinical application of their work at the Psychotherapy Networker Symposium - March 20-23, 2025. It's an incredible conference - they'd love to see you there!Rethinking Attachment – Using the Attachment Spectrum in Clinical PracticePlease support our sponsors for this episode - they keep our podcast free and accessible to all! Coffee alternative powered by mushrooms! Right now, you can get 20% off plus a FREE starter kit when you shop exclusively Piquelife.com/tuMore goodness for your body and mind - Ancient Nutrition is offering 25% off your first order when you go to AncientNutrition.com/TUIntegrative Attachment Therapy Course InformationTherapists: THIS is our recommended course experience for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. Use our link for a discount!Thanks for stopping by & for being on this journey with us!
Dr. Emily Nagoski joins co-host Sue Marriott for a deep and insightful conversation about desire, pleasure, and the impact of societal norms on sexuality. Together they explore the evolving landscape of trans rights and healthcare, emphasizing patient-centered care and the urgent need for societal support. Through her journey as a sex educator, Nagoski advocates for deeper understanding and connection, while also sharing practical approaches to educating young people about gender and sexuality, managing stress, and finding meaning and purpose in life.
This is a sneak peek of our episode with Dr. Krista Jordan - available only on our Premium Supercast and Patreon platforms. For as little as $5/month you can have access to special releases like this one, first-to-know about upcoming events and discounts and an ad-free feed. Dr. Krista Jordan & co-host Sue Marriott LCSW CGP dive into the messy, fascinating world of the 4th attachment category - disorganized attachment. Through intimate personal stories, they describe how it shows up in therapy, relationships, and everyday life. They explore the Adult Attachment Projective (AAP) and Adult Attachment Interview (AAI), unpacking what is sometimes called disorganized, unresolved, dysregulated, dissociated attachment that can ripple through generations.Learn how dismissive strategies work so well they can stop us from growing, why feedback (and a little distress) is crucial for self-awareness, and how shame and anger are often two sides of the same coin.
We’re kicking off February with a powerful conversation with the incredible Pam Benson Owens. Alongside co-host Sue Marriott, they explore what it means to live with purpose, navigate systemic challenges, and find liberation in everyday choices. Pam shares her wisdom on the role of self-care in activism, the courage it takes to engage in difficult conversations, and how fear shows up in DEI work. This episode dives deep into the intersection of personal and organizational growth, touching on themes of vulnerability, belonging, and the evolving landscape of diversity and identity. Sue and Pam also tackle honest conversations about race and privilege, the “messy middle” of personal transformation, and why pacing yourself is essential for long-term impact.
Co-host Sue Marriott, with special guests, Tina Payne Bryson and Georgie Wisen-Vincent, discuss the powerful role of play in child development and its therapeutic benefits. Play fosters emotional resilience, strengthens parent-child attachment, and supports positive neuroplasticity. They acknowledge the resistance some parents may feel towards engaging in play, while also providing practical strategies for parents to incorporate into their daily interactions. Learn how embracing play can nurture emotional growth and empower both children and parents in meaningful ways.
Ann and Sue, alongside psychotherapist Matthias Barker, unpack the complexities of parent-child estrangement and the often-overlooked generational gaps that shape how families navigate conflict. Matthias discusses the deep wounds that spiritual harm can leave behind, and also expands into broader themes of spirituality. With the emerging presence of AI, they open the conversation to the ethical challenges of the technology and creating meaningful change, whether in family dynamics or the future of mental health care.
As we close out another year, Ann and Sue take time to reflect on 2024 while sharing some exciting opportunities for the year ahead. The Vitality Series is an exciting new endeavor, where they emphasize creating safe spaces for dialogue, navigating tough emotions, and bringing therapeutic concepts into everyday life. With an honest look at shame, vulnerability, and the challenges of personal growth, they explore how connection can empower both individuals and communities. Along the way, they celebrate the milestones of their podcast, emphasize the importance of self-reflection, and highlight the role of supportive networks in fostering meaningful change.
Lee Warren shares her experience of living in an intentional community and how it opened the door to exploring tantra and the sacredness of death. Alongside co-host Sue Marriott, they explore tantra as a way to connect with the divine within ourselves and others, using tools like breath, sound, and movement to navigate the energy in our bodies. They also discuss death as a sacred process and the importance of preparing for it—both practically and spiritually. Learn how tantra and death preparation share a common goal: helping us embrace the impermanence of life and find joy in the present moment.
Dr. Diana Hill and co-host Dr. Ann Kelley explore the power of process-based therapy to improve relationships and wellbeing. Through various methods like the 6 principles of ACT, the understanding of values, and the family body analogy, they use their personal and professional experience to discuss ways to help resolve conflict and find deeper connection through secure relating. Learn ways to tap into your most deeply connected self to move forward through life's challenges and nurture healthy relationships.
Sue Marriott and Diana Fosha explore the key principles of Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) and its transformative impact on the field. AEDP begins with the premise of "healing from the get-go," and fostering change from the first session. It emphasizes "undoing aloneness" by building a supportive therapeutic relationship, while encouraging clients to engage deeply with emotions. Join us as we highlight techniques like metatherapeutic processing, where clients reflect on their healing experience, and integrating neuroscience into clinical practice.
Post-election we felt it was important to record and release an additional episode this week. There are a wide variety of emotions being felt throughout the world, and it feels more important than ever that we tune into the complexities of political identity, emotional responses, and the impact of political discourse on all of our personal relationships in the wake of a divisive presidential election. Ann and Sue, alongside Michael Hilgers, LPC, emphasize the need for deeper conversations that transcend binary thinking and the significance of co-regulation in healing and fostering unity amidst division. They explore the challenges of navigating relationships where political views differ, emphasizing the value of patience, compassion, and open curiosity to foster understanding. The conversation touches on the risks of lasting family divides and underscores the importance of creating safe, respectful spaces for meaningful conversations. Ultimately, it encourages empathy and small, thoughtful steps toward more compassionate communication.
The political events in the United States have been a major contributor to our anxieties these past years, and with our significant presidential election looming over us this week - Ann and Sue are here to talk about the hard things. While the world feels unpredictable on the outside, one thing we can do is focus on the intricate relationship between our nervous systems and the emotional responses triggered by political events. They discuss how fear and anxiety are often manipulated through political rhetoric, leading to division and polarization, the importance of understanding how personal relationships amidst these tensions are emphasized, and the need for secure relating and accountability from leaders. There is power in recognizing the complexity of political opinions and the necessity of maintaining open dialogue to foster connection rather than division. Join us as we explore how to navigate differences, the importance of empathy and community, and the need for resilience during uncertain times.
Alongside Pam Benson Owens, Ann and Sue explore a variety of topics with a live audience at the KUYA Wellness center in Austin, TX. Referencing their book, Secure Relating: Holding Your Own in an Insecure World, they delve into the neuroscience behind relationships, discussing attachment styles and emotional regulation, and emphasize the importance of creating safe spaces for dialogue. They highlight the significance of understanding generational trauma and the complexities of navigating relationships in a diverse society. Through personal stories and insightful discussions, they shine a light on the power of self-awareness, encouraging listeners to explore their own emotional landscapes with compassion and curiosity. Learn how creating safe spaces for open dialogue can deepen connections, while understanding the role of pauses and curiosity in everyday conversations.
James Ochoa and co-host Sue Marriott explore the different subtypes of ADHD, and the impact on adults who are navigating a diagnosis later in life. As an ADHD expert, Ochoa shares insights on the emotional and mental stress that accompanies ADHD, as well as provides different techniques for managing symptoms. With an emphasis on the importance of self-care, communication, and personalized strategies, he provides resources and training for adults with ADHD, professionals who work with ADHD clients, and family members of individuals with ADHD.
Exploring the science behind the complex acronymsSue Marriott and Ann Kelley discuss Experiential Dynamic Therapies (EDTs) with experts Margaret Martin and Dr. Deb Pollack. These therapies focus on recognizing and challenging defenses that lead to problems both internally and relationally. Learn the difference between defenses that feel right (Egosyntonic) and those that don’t (Egodystonic) and why it’s important to work against them for change. This episode is a dive into the role of EDTS in individual therapy, and highlights the need for an integrated approach to address underlying trauma, plus much more!
“Turning against defenses is key to creating change.” – Dr. Deborah Pollack
Time Stamps for Challenging Defenses: An Introduction to Experiential Dynamic Therapies (EDTS)00:00 Introduction to Experiential Dynamic Therapies
04:07 Understanding Defenses and Creating Change
08:19 Turning Against Defenses
13:49 Building Capacity and Accessing Core Feelings
20:05 Working with Resistance and Anxiety
23:49 Exploring Different Models within EDTs
29:22 Understanding and Working with Defenses
36:14 Building Capacity and Regulating Emotions
39:05 Challenging Defenses and Facilitating Character Change
45:04 Integrating Modalities for Comprehensive Healing
48:31 The Role of the Therapist in Addressing Defenses
54:49 Compassionate and Supportive Therapeutic Relationships
About our Guests – Dr. Deborah Pollack & Margaret Martin, LCSWDr. Deborah Pollack is an Associate Professor of Psychology at Utica University and a clinical
psychologist in private practice near Syracuse, New York. She also has faculty appointments at SUNY Upstate Medical University and Syracuse University, where she teaches and supervises doctoral students in psychology. Dr. Pollack is active on the board of the International Experiential Dynamic Therapy Association (IEDTA), serving as recording secretary and on several
standing committees. She is the President-elect of the Central New York Psychological Association. Dr. Pollack is a qualitative researcher and most recently has investigated the application of EDT-informed therapy for mothers with postpartum mood and anxiety disorders. She has been studying the EDTs since 2009 and is certified as a Teacher and Supervisor through the IEDTA. She is currently running a core training in ISTDP and she also offers individual supervision in ISTDP for licensed or license-eligible therapists. In her free time, Deb enjoys traveling, sewing, and hiking, especially in the Adirondack
mountains where she is working on hiking all 46 high peaks.
Margaret Martin, LCSW is an individual and couple therapist practicing in Austin, Texas,
where she specializes in complex trauma. She began training with Stan Tatkin,
developer of the PACT model, in 2012. She now coaches PACT level one and two students and provides training for the PACT Institute, and hosts a monthly online discussion group for PACT and PACT-curious therapists. In 2022 Margaret completed the PACT Institute’s inaugural invitation-only certification program and is one of 25 therapists worldwide to receive the designation of PACT-certified therapist. In 2019 she began training in ISTDP and developed a passion for incorporating aspects of ISTDP into her work with couples. With colleague Kathryn Barksdale, Margaret co-developed Trauma Wise Therapy, a framework for working with high-trauma couples. Margaret active on the board of the International Experiential Dynamic Therapy Association (IEDTA) and chairs the IEDTA Diversity Committee. A self-described training junkie, she also trained in Somatic Experiencing, Eye Movement
Desensitization Reprocessing, Emotional Transformation Therapy, Brainspotting, and Accelerated Resolution Therapy. She is slightly fanatic about trauma-informed care, deliberate practice for therapists, cats, and fiber arts of any kind.
Resources for this Episode – Challenging Defenses: An Introduction to Experiential Dynamic Therapies (EDTS)Margaret Martin, LCSW – Margaret Martin’s website
Deborah Pollack, PhD – Dr. Deborah Pollack’s website
Check out the most anticipated conference for Experiential Dynamic Therapists!! San Diego, CA – November 13th-15th – IEDTA’s 2024 conference highlights the power of the therapeutic alliance in psychotherapy. Register here!
IEDTA Certified Training – Info on training in Experiential Dynamic Therapies
Application to join the EDT List
Additional resources on ISTDP and Experiential Dynamic Therapies
Intensive Short Term Dynamic Psychotherapy by Patricia Coughlin – Recommended by Margaret Martin
Reaching Through Resistance by Allan Abbass – Recommended by Margaret Martin
Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy: A Reference by Nat Kuhn MD – Recommended by Margaret Martin
Treating Affect Phobia: A Manual for Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy by Leigh McCullough, et al – Recommended by Margaret Martin
Healing through Relating: A Skill-Building Book for Therapists by Jon Frederickson – Recommended by Margaret Martin
Changing Character: Short-term Anxiety-regulating Psychotherapy For Restructuring Defenses, Affects, And Attachment by Leigh Mccullough Vaillant – Recommended by Margaret Martin
Mastering Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy: A Roadmap to the Unconscious by Josette ten Have-de Labije and Robert J. Neborsky – Recommended by Margaret Martin
The Lies We Tell Ourselves by Jon Frederickson – Recommended by Margaret Martin
The Transforming Power Of Affect: A Model For Accelerated Change by Diana Fosha – Recommended by Margaret Martin
A Therapist’s Handbook to Dissolve Shame and Defense and Master the Moment by Susan Warren Warshow – Recommended by Margaret Martin
Hidden From View: A clinician’s guide to psychophysiologic disorders by Allan Abbass – Recommended by Margaret Martin
https://istdpinstitute.com/resources/intensive-short-term-dynamic-psychotherapy-an-introduction/
And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds.Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE please please leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!Events, Announcements & Resource Links Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information###### Therapists: THIS is our recommended class for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. It just so happens it is also Dennings recommended program as discussed in this. episode! Use our link for a discount!
Mind, Body, Social, & Spiritual Approaches for Healing Attachment: 30 World-Leading Pioneers Share Their Best Practices – Register now for the Holistic Attachment Summit!! – This summit will explore the most essential ideas in attachment theory, research, and how they can be applied to create deep and lasting healing for clients — enabling you to be at the forefront of evidence-based care. Click here to register!!
Trauma Therapy Directory – Resources for Trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD – Created by our friends at the Trauma Therapy Network!
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Centering voices and perspectives of marginalized couples is crucial in therapyCo-host Sue Marriott and Akilah Riley Richardson dive into a wide-ranging discussion about the vital need to center marginalized voices of clients – and therapists. They explore how Western perspectives have shaped therapy practices globally, often overlooking diverse cultural approaches. Akilah brings a fresh, challenging perspective to the table. She pushes for a real shake-up in how we approach therapy, especially when working with marginalized couples. It’s not just about tweaking existing methods – she’s calling for a fundamental rethinking of our assumptions.
The conversation tackles some heavy topics, from unpacking the concept of relational privilege to developing strategies that help couples see beyond their individual struggles to the bigger picture of systemic trauma. What really stands out is their focus on the deep impact of systemic trauma. They don’t just acknowledge it – they dig into why it’s so crucial for therapists to truly understand and address it in their work.
Ultimately, this discussion isn’t just academic. It’s a call to action for therapists to step up, broaden their perspectives, and find new ways to help couples break free from systemic constraints. It’s about empowering relationships and, in the process, maybe changing the face of therapy itself.
“Our ways of understanding healing are not always in the traditionally confined space of therapy. Dance is healing, drumming is healing, movement is healing…” – Akilah Riley-Richardson
Time Stamps for Liberating Marginalized Couples from Systemic Trauma00:00 Introduction and Akilah’s background
02:15 The influence of the global north on therapy practices in the global south
06:24 Understanding relational privilege in marginalized couples
28:36 The impact of systemic trauma on marginalized couples
30:50 The theater of oppression: Mapping themes onto relationships
36:51 Learning about relationships through systemic trauma
40:59 Challenging the therapy profession
46:13 The bubble of psychotherapy
48:43 Redefining and reclaiming narratives of survival
53:28 The urgency of addressing systemic trauma
56:16 Challenging the profession and implementing systemic change
59:04 Taking action and being part of the work
About our Guest – Akilah Riley-Richardson MSW, CCTPAkilah Riley-Richardson is a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, a Facilitator and Trainer, as well as a Couples Therapist, certified in the STAIR Method. She has received training in various areas including Somatic Experiencing, Brainspotting, Playback Theatre, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, Neuroscience, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Relational Life Therapy, Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, Compassion Focused Therapy, and Internal Family Systems Therapy. She is the founder of the Relational Healing Institute, which is dedicated to the healing of relationships, especially those of marginalized people, and is also the creator of the P.R.I.D.E model which is an approach that is useful when working with clients and in clinical supervision. P.R.I.D.E stands for Pivot, Rumble, Imagine, Develop and Evolve.
Resources for this Episode – Liberating Marginalized Couples from Systemic TraumaAkilah Riley-Richardson’s Website – Information & Resources
Indigenous Social Work Around the World by Towards Culturally Relevant Education and Practice by John Coates & Mel Grey – Book referenced by Akilah Riley-Richardson
Note to Catherine/self – find book image and reference she makes and add here
And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds.Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE please please leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!Related episodes:Navigating Racial Trauma and identity with Debra Chapman-Finley and Gliceria Perez part 1: TU203 AND Part 2: TU204In each other’s Care Building and Sustaining Healthy Relationships with Stan Tatkin TU TU112Mind Body Heart Spirit Embodying Liberation Psychology with Dr. Shena YoungTU230Couples Therapy with Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson TU 140Events, Announcements & Resource Links Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information###### Therapists: THIS is our recommended class for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. It just so happens it is also Dennings recommended program as discussed in this. episode! Use our link for a discount!
Mind, Body, Social, & Spiritual Approaches for Healing Attachment: 30 World-Leading Pioneers Share Their Best Practices – Register now for the Holistic Attachment Summit!! – This summit will explore the most essential ideas in attachment theory, research, and how they can be applied to create deep and lasting healing for clients — enabling you to be at the forefront of evidence-based care. Click here to register!!
Trauma Therapy Directory – Resources for Trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD – Created by our friends at the Trauma Therapy Network!
Austin Women’s professional development summit – it’s a huge networking event 9/13/24! Get your tickets now!
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Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy – the good, the questionable and what to worry aboutPychedelic assisted therapy
Nigel Denning is a pioneer in the field of training and research around the therapeutic use of medicines, and as an Australian, has seen what happens when psychedelics become legalized. He and co-host Sue Marriott discuss the state of psychedelic-assisted therapy as it ‘officially’ emerges in the United States. They discuss the efficacy of psychedelics such as MDMA and psilocybin as well as concerns about how these medicines are implemented and by whom. The need for structured treatment that supports integration with a solid theory of mind is emphasized.
Denning shares how the substances offer new opportunities for those who have not had success with traditional treatments, as well as addresses the concerns and skepticism around the science. Through their emphasis on the importance of proper setting, preparation, and integration he also highlights the importance of collaboration and community in the future of psychedelic therapy. Integrative Attachment Therapy was recommended as a sound training model to support those training in psychedelic integration.
“Psychedelics can help create the conditions for new opportunity” – Nigel Denning
Time Stamps for Unlocking the Potential of Psychedelics04:37 The State of Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy in Australia
13:46 Addressing Criticism and Skepticism: The Need for Scientific Explanation
21:58 Understanding the Effects of MDMA on the Brain
26:41 Understanding the Effects of Psilocybin on the Brain
29:31 The Importance of Set and Setting, Preparation, and Integration
32:41 Integration in Psychedelic Therapy
36:35 Concerns about Commercialization and Lack of Regulation
44:54 Training and Collaboration in Psychedelic Therapy
49:22 Psychotherapy as a Catalyst for Transformation and Resilience
About our Guest – Nigel Denning – Unlocking the Potential of Therapeutic PsychedelicsNigel Denning is a counseling psychologist who runs Integrative Psychology in Melbourne, Australia. He earned a Masters degree in English literature before entering Psychology. Denning developed a national training psychedelic-assisted therapy for Mind Medicine Australia, which is described by Professor David Nutt as “the world’s best.” Denning is a clinical lead in three psychedelic trials and has developed an attachment training program with David Elliott. He also mediated a healing process with two large Catholic colleges with histories of employing pedophiles, as well as worked on the George Pell prosecution. Denning has worked in institutional abuse and was instrumental in dismantling a Hindu sex cult. He has lectured a many universities and ran professional training for the College of Counseling psychologists, and trains in Tibetan Bon DzogChen following his mentor, Daniel P. Brown.
Resources for Unlocking the Potential of Therapeutic PsychedelicsIntegrative Attachment Therapy Course Information###### Therapists: THIS is our recommended class for the most comprehensive training on attachment out there. It just so happens it is also Dennings recommended program as discussed in this. episode! Use our link for a discount!
Shadow Work and Psychedelic-Assisted Therapies – Article from Mind Medicine Australia by Nigel Denning
Integrative Attachment Therapy (IAT) – Media Release
Integrative Psychology – Website & Resource
Previous episodes on psychedelic-assisted therapies to deepen your exploration:
Non-drug Psychedelic Therapy with Trey Ratcliff TU 129
A Dose of Hope TU Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy with Dan Engle 167
And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds.Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!Events, Announcements & Resource Links From Triggers to Boundaries – Secure Relating in Tumultuous Times – Reserve your spot now!! – Join us for a live podcast recording bridging psychological research with real-world application. Ann and Sue will unpack the most practical aspects of modern attachment theory and relational neurobiology to help you navigate challenging times in everyday life.
Mind, Body, Social, & Spiritual Approaches for Healing Attachment: 30 World-Leading Pioneers Share Their Best Practices – Register now for the Holistic Attachment Summit!! – This summit will explore the most essential ideas in attachment theory, research, and how they can be applied to create deep and lasting healing for clients — enabling you to be at the forefront of evidence-based care. Click here to register!!
Trauma Therapy Directory – Resources for Trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD – Created by our friends at the Trauma Therapy Network!
Support this library of content at TU staying FREE and TOTALLY ACCESSIBLE by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode – – This beautiful space is the location for our LIVE PODCAST 9/5/24! Community + wrap-around wellness including float tanks, ice baths, cedar plank saunas, IV infusions and ketamine. Mention Therapist Uncensored at checkout for discounts off day experiences and to waive sign-up fees for membership.
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Thanks for listening, friends, & for being on this journey with us!
Improv in Therapy and in Life –Explore the power – and sheer fun – of using improvisation in therapy!Dr. Ann Kelley and Lisa Kays discuss how improv can deepen conversations around tough topics like race and oppression. They examine white supremacy culture and show how improv values like collaboration, slowing down, and embracing complexity can challenge these norms. Improv fosters creativity, playfulness, and self-reflection to help reduce defensiveness and strengthen relationships in everyday life, at work, or in our closest relationships. By creating a supportive, collaborative environment, improv deepens connections and helps people tap into a wider range of emotions.
“A culture of improvisation is collaborative – it is nature – you cannot do it by yourself.” – Lisa KaysTime Stamps for Improv in Therapy & Life03:30 The integration of improv and tough conversations
10:03 The origins of improv and its connection to social justice
14:27 Contrasting white supremacy culture and improv culture
19:20 Questioning cultural norms and valuing relationships
25:29 The power of the ‘And’ in joining and connecting
38:27 The power of improv in building secure relationships
53:25 Embracing creativity and letting go of perfectionism
58:12 Creating a culture of support and collaboration
01:05:04 Applying improv in everyday life
01:09:10 Deepening connections and accessing different emotions
About our Guest for Improv Therapy – Lisa Kays LICSW, LCSW, LCSW-CLisa Kays, LICSW, LCSW-C, LCSW, is an independently licensed clinical social worker in Washington, D.C, Maryland, Virginia, Oregon and New Jersey. She obtained her MSW from Catholic University in 2011 and has worked in a variety of clinical settings. Since 2013, she has been in private practice, providing individual, couples and group therapy to adults. She has interest in social work ethic and has published on and leads ethics training on the intersection of technology, social media and social work ethics as well as anti-racism and systemic oppression. Her practice also provides opportunities for other presenters to develop CE trainings on under-taught topics linked to social justice, systemic racism, and oppression. In addition to her traditional psychotherapy work, Lisa was a performing improviser from 2007-2019 and was on the faculty of Washington Improv Theatre from 2008-2016. She developed Washington Improv Theater’s first Improv for Therapist’s class and has offered Improv for Therapists courses, workshops and trainings to individual clinicians, pastors, life coaches, and psychiatrists, as well as clinical agencies. Since its inception, Lisa has trained more than 500 people in the application of improvisation to foster personal growth and stronger and more cohesive groups. Lisa has been invited to lead trainings in improv-informed therapy at the American Academy of Psychotherapists, the Mid-Atlantic Group Psychotherapy Association, the American Group Psychotherapy Association, and at The Psychotherapy Networker, among others. Her work has been featured in The Washington Post and on NBC4. Recently, Lisa launched a humor, humility-infused podcast, “What if Nothing’s Wrong With You?” with co-host Paula D. Atkinson on themes related to therapy, mental health, oppression, patriarchy and how it’s all interconnected.
Resources for Improv Therapy – Lisa Kay’s – Website & Resources
The Fierce Urgency of Now: Improvisation, Rights, and the Ethics of Cocreation (Improvisation, Community, and Social Practice) – by Fischlin, Daniel; Heble, Ajah; Lipsitz, George
Theater Games – Viola Spolin ResourcesRehearsals for Growth – Website and Educational ResourcesDecolonizing Therapy: Oppression, Historical Trauma, and Politicizing Your Practice – book by Jennifer Mullan, PsyDThe Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron – Book and ResourcesFree Play: Improvisation in Life and Art – Nachmanovitch, StephenAnd of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds.If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!!Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!Therapists: This is our recommended class for going deeper and learning the most. You will not be disappointed! Use our link for a discount! Dr. Elliott’s Integrative Attachment Therapy Course InformationSupport this show staying FREE and TOTALLY ACCESSIBLE by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episodeGo to puritywoods.com/TU or enter code TU at checkout for 27% off.
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Everyone is familiar with reacting “in the heat of the moment,” but do we really understand what that means? Regulation basics include the protection or connection pathways to interpersonal relating.With the high tension we’re experiencing in the world today, it can feel particularly challenging to practice secure relating. We are re-sharing one of our impactful episodes where Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott explore the inner workings of our nervous system auto-pilot settings: protection vs connection.
Click here to view the original show notes for this episode!
Time Stamps for Protection or Connection00:00 Understanding our internal working model
01:05 Our body responds so much faster than our mind03:11 The story we tell amplifies the body’s response
05:30 Story vs State: Protective System and the Relational Connective System
08:11 Awareness of our state and identifying the tells of a protective system
16:12 The awareness of self in the presence of another, the relational system
17:49 Our smartest brain
19:30 Tells when you’re in a relational, connective, and reflective place
25:21 Tolerating difficult emotions
29:32 Use your own name to identify yourself
31:24 Ways to calm your body down
36:40 Pre-emptive strike; we get defensive because of the threat inside of our body
39:26 Positive interpretation of a story
41:02 Conclusion
_______Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode
Go to Piquelife.com/tu
Go to helloned.com/TU or enter code TU at checkout.
Dr. Elliott’s Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information – Follow this link for 5% off enrollment!
Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!
Thanks for listening! If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts. It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!
“Being Asian American means living in two worlds, and finding your place in both.” — UnknownDr. Ann Kelley and Hyeseung Song, a first-generation Korean American discuss Hyeseung’s experiences growing up as an Asian minority in America, touching on topics like racial stereotypes, assimilation, and the model minority myth. Hyeseung shares her journey of finding her voice and identity, highlighting the mental health challenges of navigating different cultures and the path to self-acceptance.
“…realizing that I was kind of a third distinct thing, maybe not completely Korean, maybe not completely American, but Korean American – something very special that I was learning and etching out for myself.” – Hyeseung Song
Time Stamps for Journey to Self-Discovery: Navigating Identity and Mental Health as a Korean American Immigrant 5:17 – Growing up as Korean American9:23 – The impact of racial stereotypes and assimilation23:23 – Code-Switching and Balancing Cultural Expectations26:24 – The Toll of Hypervigilance on Mental Health29:14 – Finding Voice and Identity as a Korean American36:58 – The Importance of Culturally Competent Mental Health Care41:17 – Asian American Collaboration and Advocacy46:13 – Embracing Identity and Fighting Racial Stereotypes: The Role of Younger Generations56:22 – Finding Support and Being Seen59:27 – The Importance of a Common Language in Therapy01:06:57 – Curiosity and Connection in Conversations about Race and IdentityAbout our Guest – Hyeseung Song Photo by Jack Sorokin
Hyeseung Song is a first-generation Korean American painter and the author of Docile: Memoirs of a Not-So-Perfect Asian Girl (Simon & Schuster). She lives in Brooklyn and upstate New York. Learn more about her at hyeseungsong.com.
Resources for today’s episode – Click here to visit Hyeseung’s website
“They Called Us Exceptional” – Prachi Gupta’s Memoir
“The Body Keeps the Score”
Dr. Kenneth V. Hardy – Author, Professor & Director of the Eikenberg Institute
Suicide statistic: #1 cause of death among young AAPI adults 15-24 is suicide
Check out Hyeseung Song’s book – Docile: Memoirs of a Not-So-Perfect Asian Girl
Instagram @hyeseungsTwitter @hyeseungs
Tiktok @noturdocileOther Relevant Therapist Uncensored Episodeshttps://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/healing-intergenerational-ancestral-trauma-with-linda-thai/
_______Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode
Go to ARMRA.com and use code TU at checkout!
Go to Piquelife.com/tu
Dr. Elliott’s Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information – Follow this link for 5% off enrollment!
Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!
Thanks for listening! If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts. It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!
Let’s revisit the “Felt Sense” Polyvagal modelEnjoy this replay episode with Jan Winhall, as we explore how our bodies can guide us towards healing and growth through the concept of “felt sense.” This approach integrates neuroscience and focuses on our innate ability to perceive and respond to our experiences. Winhall’s work challenges conventional views on navigating challenges influenced by culture and trauma.
Click here to view Jan Winhall’s original shownotes Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!Interest in David Elliot’s Integrative Attachment Training? Click here!!
Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode with Jan Winhall Go to ARMRA.com and use code TU at checkout!
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Go to ZocDoc.com/TU
Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberatio
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our communit
Thanks for listening! If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts. It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!
Episode Swap!! Check out this cross-over episode with Robyn GobbelOne of the many incredible aspects of this community are the people we are able to connect and learn with, like Robyn Gobbel. She is a licensed social worker, podcast host, keynote speaker, writer, trainer & consultant – and even host launch this spring. This episode, Ann and Sue joined her on her podcast, “The Baffling Behavior Show”, to talk about secure relating.
Click here to see “The Baffling Behavior Show” show notes
Looking for our reading and discussion groups? Click here!!
Other Relevant Therapist Uncensored Episodes with Robyn Gobbelhttps://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu142-trauma-informed-therapy-with-kids-with-robyn-gobbel-msw-rpt-s/
https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu53-complex-trauma-and-managing-dysregulation-with-guest-robyn-gobbel/
Get your copy of Secure Relating here!!Interest in David Elliot’s Integrative Attachment Training? Click here!!
Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode with Robyn Gobbel Go to ARMRA.com and use code TU at checkout!
Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberatio
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our communit
Thanks for listening! If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts. It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!
School is out and the kids are home – let’s revisit the “Three C” method: collect, calm & collaborateAs our schedules shift for summer, we think revisiting this episode with expert Lindsey Kealey is the perfect reminder. The warmer weather is great for vacations or some weekend fun in the sun, but we also know that the shift in schedule can be tough for parents and children. Little minds can have big feelings and in the spirit of secure relating, we are taking the opportunity to revisit strategies for teaching kids how to regulate their emotions and promote positive connection with others. Lindsey Kealey introduces a trauma-informed program grounded in neuroscience, employing social-emotional learning and problem-solving techniques to enhance decision-making and relational well-being. Through her Three C’s approach – connect, calm, and collaborate – she aims to revolutionize interpersonal dynamics, empowering individuals to interact more positively with themselves and others.
Click here to view the original show notes – Managing Intense Feelings for Kids and Grownups Resources for Managing Intense Feelings Click here for Dr. David Elliott’s Integrative Attachment Training
You can get your copy here!!
Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!
Thanks for listening! If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts. It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us! Go to Zocdoc.com/TU
Part 3 – Let’s talk about deepening security relationallyThis is our final part where we lean into the last section of the book to help us all build a deeper connection, Moving from individual to interpersonal and then societal levels, we discuss the complexities of human connection. Ann and Sue touch on leadership and the need for nuance in navigating today’s challenges while aiming to expand beyond just the Western lens. Whether it be with your partner or even how you navigate your community – building security helps us find a state of curiosity, openness, and wonder.
“…all of our growth does not just happen in the therapy office. Our growth happens in our relationship, in our parent-child relationships, and in groups…” – Sue Marriott
Time Stamps for Security Individually, Relationally, and in Community 1:55 – Deeping security among us
4:23 – What is a primary?
9:31 – Why we don’t use the word “treatment”
18:37 – Empathy and Oxitocyn aren’t always good
24:19 – Why receiving opposing feedback is important
Resources for Security Individually, Relationally, and in Community Click here to secure your spot in the Secure Relating Reading Pod – starting soon!
You can get your copy here!!
Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!
Thanks for listening! If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts. It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!
The party isn’t over quite yet. This is part 2 of 3 of our behind-the-scenes look at our book journey.Following the launch of the book, our virtual party, and our Modern Attachment conference in Austin, TX, Ann and Sue open with gratitude from the event, and for the overwhelming outpour of love and support from our community and those who help inspire this content. As we dive into more chapters of the book, we lean into understanding the attachment spectrum colors, recognizing what is happening internally when we feel activated, and shifting activation levels.
“This isn’t about pathologizing – this is about learning the patterns of how our body responds when we get activated and what to do next.” – Sue Marriott
Time Stamps for Shifting Activation Levels00:32 – Trying to process the overwhelming virtual launch with the incredible attachment community
5:02 – Engaging different activation states – looking at Part 2 of Secure Relating
11:02 – Direct look into blue leaning patterns, dismissing attachment activation via Chapter 8
15:32- Understanding the behaviors behind “blue” with compassion and watching for shame
19:14 – Cooling down red activation – preoccupied patterns via Chapter 9
23:13 – Resolving the unresolved -tye dye patterns and trauma, via a peek into Chapter 10
Resources for Shifting Activation LevelsClick here to secure your spot in the Secure Relating Reading Pod – starting soon!
You can get your copy here!!
TherapyChat – Friend of the podcast, Laura Reagan, LCSW-C’s podcast
Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episodeGo to Zocdoc.com/TU
Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!
Thanks for listening! If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts. It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!
It’s finally here! Secure Relating: Holding Your Own in an Insecure World is out now!After years of hard work, Sue and Ann could not be more excited to celebrate the release of their book. This episode discusses the themes and concepts, while emphasizing the importance of secure relating and holding one’s own in an insecure world. They highlight the need for connection, collaboration, and tolerance in order to overcome division and polarization. Listen and explore their overview of the three sections of the book, and how they each represent a stage in the process of healing and personal growth.
“…we have survived this long because of our connection and because of our ability to stay connected.” – Sue Marriott
Time Stamps for Secure Relating: Holding Your Own in an Insecure World 1:45 – Information about our book & book launch
15:25 – Breaking down the three section of the book
29:22 – The armor of the sturdy survivor
31:06 – Sue’s anecdote and analysis of the MMPI test
35:54 – Overview of the Three R Healing Spiral
45:28 – Reflecting and Building Agency
Resources for Secure Relating: Holding Your Own in an Insecure World Click here to secure your spot in the Secure Relating Reading Pod – starting soon!
Want to join the live virtual book launch on 5/1? Sign up here!
You can get your copy here!!
Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episodeCheck out AG1 at AthleticGreens.com/TherapistUncensored
Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!
Thanks for listening! If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts. It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!
Appreciate this podcast? Then please, help us reach our goal of 7,000 pre-orders for Secure Relating, Holding Your Own in an Insecure World.
Click here to learn more about the conference!!Over 100 episodes after their last interview, Ann and Sue are thrilled to be back discussing all things attachment with Dr. David Elliott. Together they delve into the Three Pillars therapy model development, centered around three key elements: enhancing collaboration, fostering metacognition, and constructing new internal working models through imagery. Dr. Elliott elaborates on how the therapeutic journey prioritizes the therapeutic alliance, perspective-taking, and employing mental imagery to cultivate fresh attachment dynamics.
“…the field of attachment is full of wonderful research, researchers, and information – some of which is conflicting, some of which is controversial – but that just means the field is alive and there’s room for lots of people to offer ideas and to evolve the field further.” – Dr. David Elliott
Time Stamps for Integrative Attachment Theory 02:01 – Overview of the Three Pillars 07:11- Limitations of the Therapist as Good Attachment Figure Model14:42 – Integration and the Evolution of the Three Pillars Model29:50 – The Use of Mental Imagery in Creating New Internal Working Models39:46 – Research and Future Directions47:16 – The Benefits of Sequential Learning53:47 – The Virtual Book Launch and Community Support01:00:23 – The Five Conditions that Promote Attachment Security01:08:09 – Contact Information and ConclusionAbout our Guest – Dr. David Elliott Dr. David Elliott is a licensed psychologist who earned his Ph.D. in Psychology from Harvard University in 1989. His clinical training at Harvard included externships at Tufts University Counseling Centerand St. Elizabeth’s Medical Center, as well as a clinical psychology internship and post-doctoral fellowship at McLean Hospital. He has held leadership positions in the Rhode Island Psychological Association and the Coalition of Mental Health Professionals of Rhode Island. Since 1998, Dr. Elliott has been on the faculty of the International School for Psychotherapy, Counseling, and Group Leadership in St. Petersburg, Russia, and serves as Chair of its International Advisory Board. He also teaches at Psykosyntes Akademin in Stockholm, Sweden. Dr. Elliott’s recent focus has been on secure and insecure attachment, culminating in the co-authoring of “Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for Comprehensive Repair” in 2016. He conducts workshops internationally on the methods outlined in the book for mental health professionals.
Resources for today’s episode – Integrative Attachment TheoryDr. Elliott’s Website
Dr. Elliott’s Course Information – Follow this link for 5% off enrollment!
Check out Dr. Elliott’s book – Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for Comprehensive Repair
https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/heal-attachment-and-find-security-during-covid/
https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu34-treating-attachment-difficulties-with-dr-david-elliott/
Don’t forget:Register today for the May 2024 Conference – Earlybird pricing ending 4/1/24Free public talk on Secure Relating in person, – Click here!!Secure Relating will be in your hands when it’s released 4/30/24 if you order it today!Questions? Email us at info@TherapistUncensored.com_______
Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode
For listeners of the show, Dipsea is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/TU
Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!
Thanks for listening! If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts. It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!
Meet some of our previous guests at the virtual launch May 1, 2024!Pre-order now to meet David Elliott, Carol George, Tina Payne Bryson and many more!
Click here to learn more about the conference!!Do you have your metaphorical sunglasses on?Ann and Sue are back for another deep dive, this time on all things information processing. Using the concept of sunglasses as a metaphor for information distortion, they explain how our internal working models and attachment experiences shape the way we perceive and interpret information. The sunglasses represent different states of activation, with clear glasses indicating a secure state and aviator sunglasses representing a defensive, self-protective state. Sunglasses can affect our relationships – but they don’t have to stop us from building healthy connections. Follow along as we explore the importance of curiosity, self-reflection, and open-mindedness in navigating relationships.
“…you can be very responsive to the people around you and their different states, but you’re also equally responsive to your own battery, your own needs, your own wishes, your own frustrations – that matters too.” – Sue Marriott
Time Stamps for Information Processing 1:06 – Introducing the metaphor of sunglasses
6:27 – Recognizing information distortion and its impact
12:37 – Understanding positive and negative transference
18:15 – Deep dive into the meaning behind the Aviator sunglasses metaphor
23:28 – The impact of early attachment experiences
35:44 – How our stories can impact the way our nervous system responds
41:01 – Questions can feel threatening neurologically
43:49 – The crazy 8 anecdote
45:51 – Being aware of our own sunglass distortions
Information Processing Resources
Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!
Mental Health Liberation is our primary partner at this time – please consider giving whatever you can to support mental health access for those traditionally left behind and support training for BIPOC therapists.
Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode! Go to Zocdoc.com/TU
Meet some of our previous guests at the virtual launch May 1, 2024!Pre-order now to meet David Elliott, Carol George, Tina Payne Bryson and many more!
Click here to learn more about the conference!!Don’t catch the certainty virus!Collective trauma requires collective healingWe can understand our social pain by considering the nervous system, just think of it as a collective amygdala hijack! Threat is pressing us to live in an alarm state and then we get used to it, as if it’s normal to be so divided, hopeless and disdainful to those who are holding different positions in the world. We need to cultivate secure (mature) relating to move ourselves back into a social, relational place that makes us more generous, compassionate and able to work with complexity to stay engaged to solve some of these pressing world and community issues. Keep hope alive!
Ann and Sue delve into the pressing emotional and social challenges confronting our world today. They examine the impact of divisive political rhetoric, the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, collective distrust, and widespread trauma on individuals and society as a whole. Emphasizing the necessity of self-awareness and accountability, they underscore the role each person plays in contributing to collective healing and regulation. Throughout their conversation, Ann and Sue stress the importance of vulnerability, genuine connection, and the pursuit of healing as essential components of addressing systemic issues and promoting relational solutions. They also tackle the complexities of polarization, advocating for open-mindedness, nuance, and empathy in navigating ideological differences and fostering constructive dialogue. Explore the transformative potential of emotions like anger and the power of connection and love in driving positive societal change.
“…if you can get your mind and your body connected and be deliberate about your actions, you’re going to bemore powerful” – Sue Marriott
Time Stamps for Collective Dysregulation1:42 – Reflecting on current events and polarization
4:40 – Sue’s bug analogy from the book
7:55 – Understanding our reactivity
10:15 – We have to go inward and look inward
15:25 – Ann’s anecdote of sitting with the discomfort
17:44 – Tools to “hang in there” and to try to stay regulated
18:46 – Explanation of the “certainty virus”
30:17 – Taking responsibility for our part
32:23 – The need for vulnerability and safety
35:15 – Cultivating safety around you
37:55 – Letting anger inform
48:34 – Holding our own individually and collectively
50:46 – Keeping hope alive
58:31 – Recognizing the signs of collectiveness and collective activation
Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!
Mental Health Liberation is our primary partner at this time – please consider giving whatever you can to support mental health access for those traditionally left behind and support training for BIPOC therapists.
Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode! Go to Zocdoc.com/TU
Appreciate this podcast? Then please, help us reach our goal of 7,000 pre-orders for Secure Relating, Holding Your Own in an Insecure World.Click here to learn more about the conference!!“Hypnosis is more like an anti-inflammatory drug, you use it to solve a problem.”Join Dr. Ann Kelley and Dr. David Spiegel as they dive into the benefits and misconceptions of hypnosis. Hypnosis is a state of highly focused attention and cognitive flexibility, allowing individuals to explore new possibilities. Whether it’s trouble with sleep, intense anxiety, or a need to break bad habits, hypnosis has proven to be an effective tool for many. Dr. Spiegel has dedicated years of research and emphasizes the importance of accessibility to hypnosis in our healthcare systems. His app R E V E R I has over 1 million downloads and allows you to rewire your brain, conquer negative habits, and achieve personal growth from home.
“…People in hypnosis can turn down that superego part of the brain that says, ‘here’s who you’re supposed to be’and ‘here’s what you were raised to be’ and ‘here’s how you should be’, and just says – ‘What if I were different? What would it feel like?‘“ – Dr. David Spiegel
About our Guest – Dr. David SpiegelDr. David Spiegel is Willson Professor and Associate Chair of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences, Director of the Center on Stress and Health, and Medical Director of the Center for Integrative Medicine at Stanford University School of Medicine, where he has been a member of the academic faculty since 1975, and was Chair of the Stanford University Faculty Senate from 2010-2011. Dr. Spiegel has more than 40 years of clinical and research experience studying psycho-oncology, stress and health, pain control, psychoneuroendocrinology, sleep, hypnosis, and conducting randomized clinical trials involving psychotherapy for cancer patients. He has published thirteen books, 404 scientific journal articles, and 170 book chapters on hypnosis, psychosocial oncology, stress physiology, trauma, and psychotherapy. His research has been supported by the National Institute of Mental Health, the National Cancer Institute, the National Institute on Aging, the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation, the Fetzer Institute, the Dana Foundation for Brain Sciences, and the Nathan S. Cummings Foundation. He was a member of the work groups on stressor and trauma-related disorders for the DSM-IV and DSM-5 editions of the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. He is Past President of the American College of Psychiatrists and the Society for Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis, and is a Member of the National Academy of Medicine. He was invited to speak on hypnosis at the World Economic Forum in Davos in 2018.Time Stamps for Hypnosis for Healing00:15 – Dr. Spiegel’s beginning with hypnosis work
2:30 – What is hypnosis?
2:56 – The myths around hypnosis
5:32 – How hypnosis is different from standard mindfulness?
8:29 – Similarities between hypnosis and mindfulness
13:29 – Effectiveness of hypnosis for sleep and anxiety
23:09 – Understanding the R E V E R I app
31:20 – The effects on smoking with hypnosis
37:20 – Hypnosis and trauma
44:48 – Who is a good candidate for hypnosis?
47:39 – Introduction to the “hypno-pharmacy” on the app
55:23 – Your hypnotizability and genetics
57:13 – Hypnotizability and attachment theory
Resources for today’s episode – Hypnosis for HealingDr. Spiegel’s Website & Profile
Publications – The full list of Dr. Spiegel’s publications
R E V E R I – Try Dr. Spiegel’s hypnosis app
Effect of Psychosocial Treatment on Survival of Patients with Metastatic Breast Cancer – Referenced research article on psychosocial treatment
Don’t forget:Register today for the May 2024 Conference – Earlybird pricing ending 4/1/24Free public talk on Secure Relating in person, – Click here!!Secure Relating will be in your hands when it’s released 4/30/24 if you order it today!Questions? Email us at info@TherapistUncensored.com_______
Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode
Get 15% off your first OneSkin purchase using the code TU when you checkout at oneskin.co
Check out AG1 at AthleticGreens.com/TherapistUncensored
Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!
Thanks for listening! If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts. It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!
Appreciate this podcast? Then please, help us reach our goal of 7,000 pre-orders for Secure Relating, Holding Your Own in an Insecure World.Click here to learn more about the conference!!“The more that we unlearn, the more that we decolonize our minds, bodies, hearts and spirits” – Dr. Shena YoungJoin co-host Sue Marriott and Dr. Shena Young as they dive into liberation psychology and the conflict between intuition and the traditional European model of psychology. Dr. Shena highlights embodying a holistic approach to help heal traumas and deeply root us in our most authentic selves. Whether through connections with nature or the exploration of ancestral traditions, this discussion is enriched with various opportunities to reconnect and liberate our mind, body, heart, and spirit.
About our Guest – Dr. Shena Young (She/Her)Affectionately known as Dr. Shena (she/her) & spiritually as Iya Osunbunmi Orisasewa, she is a licensed embodiment-focused psychologist–healer, artist, mental health futurist, on-set wellbeing professional, and priestess in the Isese tradition of Ifa. She holds space internationally for individuals, couples, groups, and organizations committed to the ritual of calling themselves back into their bodies as a freedom practice. She owns a private practice, embodied truth healing & psychological services, rooted in Los Angeles, CA where she offers mind–body–heart–spirit care in healing from sexual, racial, intergenerational, and ancestral traumas.Time Stamps for Embodying Liberation Psychology 1:30 – Dr. Shena’s journey with liberation psychology and decolonization
7:25 – Dr. Shena’s early life and intuition
9:48 – Body language is one of our first languages
18:58 – Understanding the pillars of authenticity
20:52 – Embracing the mind, body, heart, spirit approach
28:21 – Unlearning scarcity and expecting abundance
33:29 – Thinking of currency as seeds
41:37 – New interests in ancient traditions
44:11 – What the act of grounding may look like
51:45 – The decriminalization of psychedelic plant medicines
56:30 – There is power in practicing choice
1:05:01 – Impact of The Color Purple
Resources for today’s episode – Embodying Liberation PsychologyEmbodiedTruthHealing.com – Dr. Shena’s website
Healing Opportunities with Dr. Shena
@EmbodiedTruthHealing – Dr. Shena’s Instagram
Invest in healing programs for BIPOC
Dr. Clenora Hudson-Weems website – Where Dr. Shena first learned about Africana Womanist theory
Body Rites – Dr. Shena’s book. Get your copy, here!!
Don’t forget:– Register today for the May 2024 Conference – Earlybird pricing ending 4/1/24– Free public talk on Secure Relating in person, – Click here!!– Secure Relating will be in your hands when it’s released 4/30/24 if you order it today!Questions? Email us at info@TherapistUncensored.com_______
Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode – Embodying Liberation Psychology!
Dipsea is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/TU
Check out AG1 at AthleticGreens.com/TherapistUncensored
Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!
Thanks for listening! If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts. It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!
Appreciate this podcast? Then please, help us reach our goal of 7,000 pre-orders for Secure Relating, Holding Your Own in an Insecure World.
Click here to learn more about the conference!!“Boundaries are self-worth in action” – Juliane Taylor ShoreWe’re back with long-time friend of the podcast and expert, Juliane Taylor Shore LMFT, LPC, SEP. As we reflect on our episode from six years ago on boundaries, we dive into new knowledge and how we can create boundaries that stick. Juliane Taylor Shore blends her original methods like “the jello wall” with new research to share exciting and thoughtful insight on how through boundaries we can harness compassion in our relationships with others and ourselves.
“I have also seen that learning to trust yourself is a huge part of safety. When we handle life well, it’s often the result of treating ourselves with love and respect, and leaning in to those who love us too.” – Juliane Taylor Shore
About our Guest – Juliane Taylor Shore LMFT, LPC, SEPJuliane Taylor Shore is a therapist, author, teacher, and mom who is creating spaces where people can move into more self-compassion, self-trust, empowerment, and integrity. She regularly teaches and speaks to people from all around the world, and translates new understandings in neurobiology into practices that can support brain change. She is also the author of Setting Boundaries that Stick: How Neurobiology Can Help You Rewire Your Brain to Feel Safe, Connected and Empowered and an Associate Instructor with the Coherence Institute, and a core faculty member with Therapy Wisdom.
Time Stamps for Setting Boundaries that Stick 00:53 – How Juliane wrote her book
3:15 – New ideas around boundary work
5:30 – Different categories of assessments
6:01 – Expanding the concept of boundaries
11:26 – Minds experience the world in different ways
16:34 – Explanation of the jello wall analogy
25:59 – Understanding the containing boundary
28:59 – The big emotional “oomph”
30:57 – What if you found your own version of a compassion gesture?
33:22 – Examples of key words
38:54 – The fourth boundary, physical
40:27 – Boundary repair, what it means to “gently come back to yourself”
50:38 – Creating the external boundary map
Resources for today’s episode Juliane Taylor Shore – Official website
iPNB of Austin – Official website
Therapy Wisdom – Official website
How Neurobiology Can Help You Rewire Your Brain to Feel Safe, Connected, and Empowered – Book by Juliane Taylor Shore
Other Relevant Therapist Uncensored Episodes https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu81-how-good-boundaries-actually-bring-us-closer-with-guest-juliane-taylor-shore/
Don’t forget to register for the May 2024 Conference! Plus there is a whole weekend of fun built around it – Click here!! Questions? Email us at info@TherapistUncensored.comPlease consider giving to Mental Health Liberation
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!
Mental Health Liberation is our primary partner at this time – please consider giving whatever you can to support mental health access for those traditionally left behind and support training for BIPOC therapists.
Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode! Check out AG1 at AthleticGreens.com/TherapistUncensored
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups and who knows what else may come! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!
Appreciate this podcast? Then please, help us reach our goal of 7,000 pre-orders for Secure Relating, Holding Your Own in an Insecure World.
Click here to learn more about the conference!!
Discomfort is a necessary part of liberating ourselves from patriarchal and white supremacist ideologyArt by Nisha K. Sethi
This is part two of a two-part series with the founder of Inclusive Therapists, Melody and TU Co-host, Sue Marriott. This episode features challenging yet important conversations on active anti-racist practices, exploration of oppression, and dismantling whiteness in mental health structures. Melody emphasizes the need for white clinicians to examine their own complicity in upholding oppressive systems and to listen to and center the experiences of marginalized communities. They also highlight the interconnectedness of healing and the power of collective liberation through rehumanizing.
“…if I uphold a system that I know is dehumanizing someone, I become less human myself.” – Melody Li, LMFT (they/佢)
About our Guest – Melody Li, LMFT (they/佢) Melody Li, LMFT (they/佢) is the founder of Inclusive Therapists: a mental health directory, resource hub & community centering marginalized communities. They also founded Mental Health Liberation, a non-profit bridging Black, Indigenous, and People of Color with free, quality therapy, and empowering Students & Clinicians of Color. Their activism focuses on decolonizing mental health care and dismantling the industrial complex. The colony-born migrant and settler on Turtle Island advocates for Landback, Indigenous Sovereignty, and Black Liberation as a priority.Time Stamps for Decolonizing the Mental Health System (Part 2)2:18 – Definition of QTBIPOC
3:22 – Deep dive into anti-oppressive and liberators practices
8:20 – Understanding cis-gender identity
9:49 – Structural oppression is not about your feelings
15:34 – How white feminism can be exclusionary
17:06 – Dismantling whiteness from the mental health field
23:30 – Actions items for white clinicians to be more inclusive
25:52 – Top down versus bottom-down healing
30:40 – The core of oppression is to dehumanize
Resources for today’s episode – Decolonizing the Mental Health System (Part 2)Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paulo Freire – Literature recommendation by Melody Li
Melody Li’s Website
Melody Li’s Instagram Profile
Inclusive Therapists Resource Library
Open Letter: End Mental Health Field’s Complicity to Genocide
Steadfast for Collective Liberation Newsletter: Confronting our Bullshit & Toxicity
Palestinian Liberation: Lessons in Solidarity for Mental Health Providers
Palestinian Liberation Resources
When is exploring whiteness clinically relevant? (Melody Li, LMFT)
Dismantling whiteness, white feminism and supremacy delusion: resources by Black, Indigenous and People of Color (Li advised against buying white authors on this subject)
Decolonizing Therapy (Dr. Jenn Mullan)
Stages of Colonialism in Africa: From Occupation of Land to Occupation of Being (Hussein A. Bulhan)
All psychologies are indigenous psychologies: Reflections on psychology in a global era (Anthony J. Marsella)
Mental Health Liberation: Website | Instagram | Facebook | BIPOC Therapy Fund | Liberatory Student Support Circle
Inclusive Therapists: Website | Instagram | Facebook
Don’t forget to register for the May 2024 Conference! Plus there is a whole weekend of fun built around it – Click here!! Questions? Email us at info@TherapistUncensored.comCheck out our Sponsors Get 15% off your first OneSkin purchase using the code TU when you checkout at oneskin.co
Go to Zocdoc.com/TU
Check out Athletic Greens!!
Appreciate this podcast? Then please, help us reach our goal of 7,000 pre-orders for Secure Relating, Holding Your Own in an Insecure World.
Click here to learn more about the conference!!
“Silence is not inaction. Silence is a stance.”This is part one of a two-part series with the founder of Inclusive Therapists, Melody and TU Co-host, Sue Marriott. We are pushing for more inclusive, anti-racist, and decolonialized practices.The conversation is challenging but important as we explore liberation psychology that helps us recognize and unlearn patterns of thinking that are rooted in colonization and European Western education. You may not agree with everything this guest says but you will learn something and likely feel quite a lot. Discomfort is a necessary part of liberating ourselves from engrained traditional patriarchal and white supremist thinking that continues to harm so many.
“I had a choice to say ‘I can conform to this institution. I can bend, I can contort myself by really severing from my humanity, or I can find my peopleand we can collectively do something different.'” – Melody Li, LMFT (they/佢)
About our Guest – Melody Li, LMFT (they/佢) Melody Li, LMFT (they/佢) is the founder of Inclusive Therapists: a mental health directory, resource hub & community centering marginalized communities. They also founded Mental Health Liberation, a non-profit bridging Black, Indigenous, and People of Color with free, quality therapy, and empowering Students & Clinicians of Color. Their activism focuses on decolonizing mental health care and dismantling the industrial complex. The colony-born migrant and settler on Turtle Island advocates for Landback, Indigenous Sovereignty, and Black Liberation as a priority.Time Stamps for Decolonizing the Mental Health System
00:25 – About Melody and their background
2:41 – More about Inclusive Therapists
8:47 – Melody’s journey with liberation
10:31 – Understanding the white cis-heteronormativity education system
18:41 – The issue with referring to different communities as sub-communities
21:47 – Why language really matters
23:26 – What it means to de-colonialize mental health care
33:00 – Exploring the hierarchal field of therapy and its barriers
36:50 – “There is nothing more racist than genocide”
41:50 – A call to action and steps to end the genocide
Resources for today’s episode – Decolonizing the Mental Health SystemMelody Li’s Website Melody Li’s Instagram Profile
Inclusive Therapists Resource Library
Open Letter: End Mental Health Field’s Complicity to Genocide
Steadfast for Collective Liberation Newsletter: Confronting our Bullshit & Toxicity
Palestinian Liberation: Lessons in Solidarity for Mental Health Providers
Palestinian Liberation Resources
When is exploring whiteness clinically relevant? (Melody Li, LMFT)
Dismantling whiteness, white feminism and supremacy delusion: resources by Black, Indigenous and People of Color (Li advised against buying white authors on this subject)
Decolonizing Therapy (Dr. Jenn Mullan)
Stages of Colonialism in Africa: From Occupation of Land to Occupation of Being (Hussein A. Bulhan)
All psychologies are indigenous psychologies: Reflections on psychology in a global era (Anthony J. Marsella)
Mental Health Liberation: Website | Instagram | Facebook | BIPOC Therapy Fund | Liberatory Student Support Circle
Inclusive Therapists: Website | Instagram | Facebook
Don’t forget to register for the May 2024 Conference! Plus there is a whole weekend of fun built around it – Click here!! Questions? Email us at info@TherapistUncensored.com
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 12:06 — 27.7MB)
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Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!
Mental Health Liberation is our primary partner at this time – please consider giving whatever you can to support mental health access for those traditionally left behind and support training for BIPOC therapists.
Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode! Dipsea is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/TU
Go to CozyEarth.com/TU
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups and who knows what else may come! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!
Click here to learn more about the conference!!Love Letter to Group PsychotherapyWhile Ann and Sue are in DC at the American Group Psychotherapy Association Conference, we thought this was the perfect opportunity to replay one of our favorite episodes.
Co-hosts Sue Marriott and Patty Olwell interview colleagues at the American Group Psychotherapy 2016 Association Annual Meeting in New York. They talk about why they love group therapy and why it is so valuable to their clients. We want to thank our interviewees for their help and insights.
Interviewees for this Episode…* Tammy Brown – Austin TX tammybrowntherapy.com * Jamie Moran – San Francisco CA jamiemoran.com * Rita Drapkin – Indiana University of Pennsylvania (724)357-2621 * Pierre Choucroun – Austin TX Pierre M Choucroun on Psychology Today * Kelly Inselmann – Austin TX kellyinselmann.com * Liz Rosenblatt – Los Angeles CA Dr Elizabeth Rosenblatt on LAGPA
RESOURCES:Additional resources for this episode:
- Austin Group Psychotherapy Society: Organization that promotes group therapy and provides training for clinicians
- American Group Psychotherapy Association: National organization that promotes group therapy as a cost effective and clinical valuable treatment.
- Psychodynamic Group Psychotherapy Scott Rutan Walter Stone and Joseph Shay. These are masters of group. An excellent text for therapists and others eager to learn about group. You can trust these authors
Pre-orders are officially available! Get it now to join in the fun when it arrives April 30, 2024.Check out what the experts who have reviewed the book have to say!
Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!
Mental Health Liberation is our primary partner at this time – please consider giving whatever you can to support mental health access for those traditionally left behind and support training for BIPOC therapists.
Dipsea is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/TU
Go to CozyEarth.com/TU
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups and who knows what else may come! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!
Click here to learn more about the conference!!_______
Not your ordinary journaling… a science-backed technique that gets to the heart of bottom-up healing.You may have heard about this protocol on the Huberman Lab Podcast. Co-hosts Ann and Sue discuss the power of expressive writing as a tool for physical and emotional healing directly with the original researcher, Dr. James Pennebaker. While his protocol is not a simple “elixir” to cure mental or physical illness, Dr. Pennebaker has dedicated years of research and found this kind of expressive writing to be an effective method of healing for many people. Writing without boundaries or expectations can allow us to enter a stream of consciousness and better process our feelings and experiences of trauma.
“As the number of studies increased, it became clear that writing was a far more powerful tool for healing than anyone had ever imagined.” – Dr. James PennebakerAbout our Guest – Dr. James PennebakerJames W. Pennebaker is Professor Emeritus of Psychology. He is continuing to explore natural language use, group dynamics, and personality in both laboratory and real world settings. His earlier work on expressive writing found that physical health and work performance can improve by simple writing and/or talking exercises. His cross-disciplinary research is related to linguistics, clinical and cognitive psychology, communications, medicine, and computer science. Author or editor of 12 books and over 300 articles, Pennebaker has received numerous research and teaching awards and honors.
Time Stamps for Neuroscience-proven Expressive Writing Protocol 00:49 – Dr. Pennebaker’s background
3:31 – Secrets are unhealthy
12:45 – Interesting findings from his writing experiment
17:46 – Dr. Pennebaker’s blood draw study
21:35 – One of the big problems with expressive writing
25:52 – Understanding executive function and working memory
27:31 – Three of the most impactful psychological tools
33:37 – The difference between standard journaling and these writing exercises
38:40 – The benefits of open-ended questions
46:16 – The emergent process of writing
59:03 – Anecdote about how Dr. Pennebaker’s analysis contributed to an exoneration
1:02 – What language can tell us about political leadership
Resources for today’s episode – Expressive Writing ProtocolThe Pennebaker Lanuage Lab
Linguistic Inquiry & Word Count – Text analysis tools
Publications – A list of Dr. Pennebaker’s publications
Website – Dr. Pennebaker’s UT website and information
Transcripts for A Neuroscience-Proven Expressive Writing Protocol with Dr. James Pennebaker (225)
Don’t forget to register for the May 2024 Conference! Plus there is a whole weekend of fun built around it – Click here!! Questions? Email us at info@TherapistUncensored.comPre-orders are officially available! Get it now to join in the fun when it arrives April 30, 2024.Check out what the experts who have reviewed the book have to say!
Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!
Mental Health Liberation is our primary partner at this time – please consider giving whatever you can to support mental health access for those traditionally left behind and support training for BIPOC therapists.
Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode! Get started today with 15% off using code TU at oneskin.co
Go to Zocdoc.com/TU and download the Zocdoc app for FREE
We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups and who knows what else may come! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!
Interpersonal co-regulation requires boundary-setting. Therapist Uncensored co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott join the founder of IPNB Psychotherapy of Austin, Dr. Juliane Taylor Shore, in a discussion on interpersonal neurobiology and regulation. We’ll explore the three types of boundaries, how to co-create them plus how to stay regulated using internalized relationships with the self.
25.6% of adults who have had COVID-19 report having experienced long Covid (source). While there are a variety of symptoms and severities that come with the illness, it doesn't erase the physical and mental toll it can take on one's life. In this episode, Ann and Sue take their research as well as personal experience with the illness and discuss the stigmas, advocating for your health, being a supportive caregiver, and secure relating in regards to chronic disease.
We are kicking off the new year with a special conversation between co-host Sue Marriott and special guest Jeff Lutes. Both members of the LGBTQ+ community, this discussion dives into raising families, the evolution of the community, allyship, gender, and the importance of advocacy. While there has been some progress, the LGBTQ+ community still actively faces discrimination. Whether you're a practicing therapist with clients in the community or have LGBTQ-identifying loved ones, this episode is for you. Through a personal and professional lens, this conversation offers new perspectives and shines a light on the significance of staying educated and being an active voice.
We explored many ideas this year and despite the variety of topics we found a consistent theme - nurturing secure relating in an insecure world. From interviews with our oldest son on the climate crisis to the power of awe in everyday life, we were met with rich conversations and endless opportunities to grow. As we close out 2023 with gratitude, Ann and Sue look back at important episodes from this year, review lessons learned, and exciting announcements to come in 2024.
Hair-pulling, skin picking, and cheek, lip, & cuticle biting are self-soothing strategies that depending on the degree can become body-focused repetitive behavioral disorders. Learn about a new attachment-informed psychodynamic model for treating these painful, shame-associated behaviors in our conversation today with Sue Marriott and Stacy Nakell.
While just the word vulnerability can trigger our defenses, it can also be a great gateway to secure relating and deepening the connection with our authentic selves. In a society heavily influenced by social media, unhealthy gender roles, and many other factors - Ann and Sue dive into the importance of changing the narrative and stepping out of our defensive invulnerable state and into our healthy, vulnerable selves.
Relating from a place of inner security is not about an attachment category, and it can't stop with us as individuals. Ann and Sue share exciting news and community updates for TU. With secure relating at the forefront, this episode includes a sneak peek into the structure of their new book, Secure Relating Holding Your Own in an Insecure World. They explain the three R healing spiral, cultivating community, and much more! Now is a great time to join our online Neuronerd community www.therapistuncensored.com/join! Find shownotes at www.therapistuncensored.com/tu218.
Tune in as we follow up on last week's episode, and sit down with amygdala expert, Dr. Joseph LeDoux. We discuss the non-conscious versus unconscious, protein synthesis, the differences between fear and threat, and how it all applies in the world of attachment.
A theory around trauma is that when it occurs it "gets locked in the nervous system" and the way in which the body stores the trauma - in the form of thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations - can be left fragmented, therefore delaying true healing. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessings, also known as EMDR, is an evolving science that utilizes bilateral stimulation to help connect the left side of the brain to the right in order to form more cohesive, healing thoughts to better support the healing process. Tune in for this episode as co-host Dr. Ann Kelley and Dr. Parnell take a deep dive into the evolution and successes of EMDR.
Attachment 'insecurity" is partly a manifestation of unresolved stress patterns in the child and, by extension, the family. Therapists usually think of stress as interpersonal and dyadic, but you can't isolate individuals from context. We talk about context a lot when it comes to attachment - the circumstances or setting which helps to understand a process more deeply. As Sharon Lambert says in today's episode, you can't "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" if you have no boots. Sue Marriott and Sharon Lambert discuss the unconscious bootstraps communities have that cause blame towards those who are struggling. www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes to join our premium Neuronerd community www.therapistuncensored.com/join
We aren't one thing and getting to know our different parts is an effective technique to deepen healing. These "parts" are metaphorical "little beings" that live in our minds and manifest into physical or emotional reactions from traumatic events. Dr. Frank Anderson has spent decades of his life studying these parts and sharing his findings to help others utilize built-in resources like their "self-energy" to navigate their own traumas. Join us as Sue Marriott and Dr. Anderson weave together psycho-pharmacology, trauma, neuroscience, attachment, and internal family systems. More at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
The idea of adding 30 minutes of extra meditation to our already busy schedules can feel overwhelming - but Jake Eagle has dedicated years to his research and found the mindfulness loophole. Awe is an incredibly powerful tool that can over time help us rewire our brains and build security within. Eagle is here to prove that awe is not only meant to be found in grand moments like standing at the top of a mountain or hearing your favorite musician live - but in the tiny fragments of our everyday life. Awe is accessible to us each day, and in this episode, Dr. Ann Kelley and Jake Eagle explore strategies like the "A Method" to incorporate mindfulness into our daily routines. These methods can help to ease the tension of the autopilot mode in our brains, reduce inflammation throughout the body, and equip us with the tools to have deeper, more meaningful connections.
We are back with relationship expert, Dr. Stan Tatkin to discuss his new book and explore the inner workings of relationships from a biological and societal perspective. All humans are complicated creatures that can cause strain in relationships - but how we recover and rebuild matters most. Sue Marriott & Dr. Tatkin take a deep dive into addressing conflicts, building secure attachments, and abandoning gender stereotypes for a more inclusive discussion. Follow along to explore healthy interdependence, couples' purpose, and secure functioning.
Bonus Episode -
Barbie isn't anti-man - it's anti-patriarchy
"If you are a guy who doesn't like the Barbie movie, it means you probably don't like patriarchy." Liz Plank
The Barbie movie has sparked great controversy. While some claim it to be "anti-man" others view it as a strategic call out to the challenges both men and women face on a regular basis. We've learned to view the world through a patriarchal lens, so when it's flipped only then can we see how those in power mistreat those who aren't. This is pro-anyone wanting secure relating and mutuality - all genders welcome!
Ann and Sue are joined by Liz Plank to dive into the symbolism of the Barbie movie and how it applies to real life and secure relating. Listen now to explore patriarchy, masculinity, and the hierarchies of our society - and important steps we can take to build security through vulnerability for a more inclusive world.
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Explore attachment trauma with attachment assessment expert Dr. Carol George!
We have the privilege of speaking again with Dr. Carol George, a pioneer in developing attachment assessments for children and adults. Based on her decades of experience identifying patterns she has a lot to teach us about what attachment disruptions really look like in real life and in therapy.
This episode also explores concepts from her new book: Working with Attachment Trauma Clinical Application of the Adult Attachment Projective Picture System. Sue Marriott and Dr. George discuss ideas such as failed mourning, preoccupation with personal suffering and the current perspectives on what used to be called disorganized attachment.
She co-authored the Adult Attachment Interview with Mary Main and created the Adult Attachment Projective Picture System, which is Sue's go-to assessment for those looking to learn more about their implicit unconscious relational beliefs. With her decades of research, Dr. George offers unique and time-tested insights into applying the science of attachment and trauma.
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This is a follow-up to our previous episode on recognizing secure states of mind. If you're a regular listener, you know we talk a lot about attachment - but what is it exactly? This episode is a refresher course where we break down what it is, what it isn't, attachment spectrums, embodied stories, and much more. Whether you're more advanced in your knowledge of the topic or starting fresh - this is a great place to connect and better understand how attachment plays a role in our lives.
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What is secure attachment and how can I grow my own capacity for security?
We’ve covered the different protection and connection strategies - preoccupied (red on the spectrum), dismissing (blue on the spectrum), and unresolved (tie-dye), but today’s episode is all about what secure attachment actually looks like in daily life. You’ve experienced the continuum from red, blue, or even tie-dye, but how do you know when you’re in your green? A securely attached system doesn’t mean you’re never upset - it’s about having the ability to stay engaged while you have big feelings. In this episode, Ann and Sue discuss what this can look like conversationally, conditions that promote a secure base in parenting, and how to check in with yourself and deepen your connection with others.
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We've covered tough topics head-on in this series, Secure Relating in an Insecure World (SRIW). It is therefore fitting that we close the series with something scientifically hopeful to help us stay in our secure selves so we can remain engaged in these hard conversations.
The science of this specific feeling of awe has garnered much attention for good reason. Our guest today has spent decades exploring the sensation and documenting how to develop it in everyday life. We have all experienced these small moments that allow us to shift our mindset away from ourselves and into something so bigger. Co-hosts Sue Marriott and Dr. Ann Kelley discuss the power of awe with guest expert Dr. Dacher Keltner where they explore the science, the mystical and the hope of awe as an inspirational tool for collective healing.
Full shownotes at www.therapistuncensored.com/207
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Dr. Keltner is one of the world’s foremost emotion scientists. He is a professor of psychology at UC Berkeley and the director of the Greater Good Science Center. He has over 200 scientific publications and six books, including Born to Be Good, The Compassionate Instinct, and The Power Paradox. He has written for many popular outlets, from The New York Times to Slate. He was also the scientific advisor behind Pixar’s Inside Out, is involved with the education of healthcare providers and judges, and has consulted extensively for Google, Apple, and Pinterest, on issues related to emotion and well-being.
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Linda Thai, a Vietnamese Australian trauma therapist living on Native lands in Alaska, shares her journey to self-discovery as she navigates her own identity in the aftermath of her early childhood trauma. She shared words of wisdom about grief and developmental trauma as well as intergenerational and ancestral trauma, touching on the immigrant experience and family dynamics. Through various brain and body-based strategies (click here for a link to free videos she offers that are highly recommended), she reclaims the unresolved ancestral grief and trauma in her lineage and inspires others to incorporate historical awareness, including the impact of colonialism.
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Many answers to our challenges are already inside of us.In today’s episode, find new perspectives on how culture and trauma affect our navigation within the world. Using bottom-up approaches, she explains how addictions are regulation strategies and provides tools to deeper connect to our nervous systems and ourselves. Join social workers Sue Marriott and Jan Winhall as they explore Winhall’s “felt sense” model, where she blends neuroception and interoception through a polyvagal lens.
Jan Winhall is a highly experienced therapist and author who has dedicated her life to understanding and challenging dominant structures. From her years of group therapy and studying with figures like Dr. Stephen Porges, she has combined her findings into her recent book Treating Trauma and Addiction with the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model: A Bottom-Up Approach.
“Felt sense is all about the capacity in the body to notice what we’re experiencing and to carry us forward in the direction of healing and growth.” – Jan Winhall
About Jan Winhall
Jan Winhall, MSW, FOT is an author, teacher, and psychotherapist. She is an adjunct lecturer in the Department of Social Work at the University of Toronto. She is the director of Focusing on Borden, a psychotherapy and training center. Jan presents internationally on trauma and addiction.You can find many resources for both clinicians and clients on her website, including videos, PDFs (see below) and training opportunities.Time Stamps for the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model 3:47 – Tying the autonomic nervous system to addiction
6:02 – Breaking down bottom-up processing
8:13 – The relationship between interoception and neuroception
14:17 – Rethinking the term “sex addiction”
18:46 – Neuroception temperature example
21:16 – Introducing the intervening variable
27:53 – The six F’s and their branches
36:01 – The learning model of addiction
41:34 – Winhall’s perspective on polyvagal theory
Resources for the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model Treating Addiction & Trauma Together – Youtube Video
Trauma and Recovery – Book by Judith Herman
Jan Winhall Models 6 F’s client and clinician version
Revolutionizing Addiction Treatment with The Felt Sense Polyvagal Model – Article
International Body Psychotherapy Journal
Jan Winhall Website
The Conspiracy of Silence – Book by Sandra Butler
The Politics of Giving Therapy – Eugene T. Gendlin, Ph.D.
Stephen W. Porges, Ph.D. – Website
Doug Braun-Harvey, Fellowship in Sexual Compulsive Behavior – Website
Focusing on Borden – Jan Winhall
Other Relevant Therapist Uncensored Episodes
https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu18-polyvagal-theory-understanding-irrational-threat-responses-in-relationships/
https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu93-polyvagal-theory-in-action-the-practice-of-body-regulation-with-dr-stephen-porges/
https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu94-the-science-of-self-regulation-breaking-down-polyvagal-theory/
https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu110-story-follows-state-investigating-polyvagal-theory-with-guest-deb-dana/
CLICK here for Jan Winhall Transcripts – Episode 192We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch sales to organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare. We can only do that with the help of our Patrons. Please join us today! By joining as a Patron premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed, deeper insights into select content, and unique study opportunities.
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Learn powerful strategies for parenting even during the most difficult moments. Ann Kelley, Kat Scherer and Elizabeth Sylvester discuss ways of integrating attachment and neurobiology into disciplinary styles that work and build balance in our relationships.
Attachment 'insecurity" is partly a manifestation of unresolved stress patterns in the child and, by extension, the family. Therapists usually think of stress as interpersonal and dyadic, but you can't isolate individuals from context. We talk about context a lot when it comes to attachment - the circumstances or setting which helps to understand a process more deeply. As Sharon Lambert says in today's episode, you can't "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" if you have no boots. Sue Marriott and Sharon Lambert discuss the unconscious bootstraps communities have that cause blame towards those who are struggling. There is no doubt that poverty impacts physical and emotional health, and thus lifting children out of poverty is a direct intervention in their well-being. Today's session also explores fascinating research on how people use mental health podcasts - join us! www.therapistuncensored.com/join Shownotes here: www.therapistuncensored.com/191
You don't have to be totally healed from years of therapy under your belt or a history of secure attachment to develop skills for increased intimacy and secure relating. This is something that anybody, no matter their history, can begin to learn. Channeling your inner awareness to recognize a heightened state of arousal or using visualizations to help stay in a regulated place helps tap into your right brain to connect with yourself and your humanity. Ann and Sue navigate their personal examples, self-regulating tips, breaking out of their defensive "competitive head", and many more useful strategies to explore the ways we can move in the direction of secure connections.
Hair-pulling, skin picking, and cheek, lip, & cuticle biting are self-soothing strategies that depending on the degree can become body-focused repetitive behavioral disorders. Learn about a new attachment-informed psychodynamic model for treating these painful, shame-associated behaviors in our conversation today with Sue Marriott and Stacy Nakell.
Many of you probably love podcasts, and not just Therapist Uncensored. Ann and I have our favorites as well, so we wanted to share a short special episode today to expand your world of podcast listening. Today we are directly sharing an excerpt from one of our podcast friends, A Slight Change of Plans, from Pushkin Industries. In this preview, bestselling author Daniel Pink talks about using a typically negative emotion – regret – as a force for good in our lives. Hear the full episode, and find much more from A Slight Change of Plans, at https://podcasts.pushkin.fm/scp5?sid=uncensored.
Find more from Therapist Uncensored at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
Assumptions block our view of seeing the whole perspective and equip us with a bias that can make our relationships difficult to navigate. Not asking people personal questions or receiving feedback might be underlined unexamined bias. Whether your "moral compass" may get in the way, your assumptions form from cultural influence, or you even feel avoidant of those tougher conversations and just assume the other person is on the same page - this episode is for you. This is a follow up to the defense series as Ann and Sue help us continue to get real and question what we think we just know.
Whether it's projection, appearing to be a "know it all", power dynamics, ceding, or even being forgetful - we express our subconscious and conscious defenses in multiple ways. Follow along to connect with your own defenses and learn how to healthily disarm your patterns for emotional regulation.
Aggression is not a feeling, it can be positive or negative goal-directed life energy. Learn to use this energy to propel us forward in conversation with guest expert Jeanne Bunker and co-host, Sue Marriott. What is healthy aggression? It can be a resource to help us navigate our personal goals, increase intimacy within our relationships, and to act as a catalyst for change when paired with desire. Follow along as Jeanne Bunker and Sue Marriott break down the negative connotations and provide perspective to harness this resource and help reclaim healthy aggression. Shownotes at www.therapistuncensored.com/186. Join our Neuronerd community at www.therapistuncensored.com/join.
When you unconsciously deem "power" as what keeps you "safe" in vulnerable situations, reflecting and rewiring on this dynamic can transform your connections. Human defenses are quite necessary to protect our nervous system and sense of self. The goal isn't to eliminate defenses - but to learn how to regulate them, especially in relationships. Defenses can often feel triggered when there is an uneven power dynamic expressed in a relationship and can be influenced by outside factors like gender socialization, culture, or personal history.
Learn more about autobiographical memory and the hippocampus in managing stress. By blending neuroscience and a 3 R Spiral of change strategy, we can begin to sort through our defenses, rewire how we navigate our world, and move towards healing our relationships. Shownotes at www.therapistuncensored.com/184. Join our Neuronerd private community for an ad-free feed at www.therapistuncensored.com/join.
Ann and Sue get into the nitty gritty of exploring normal human defenses. Using the full body of work from translated relational neuroscience, modern attachment and depth psychology they break down their professional and personal experience moving from armor back to more connected relationality. Shownotes at www.therapistuncensored.com/183 and more episodes at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes.
We aren't one thing and getting to know our different parts is an effective technique to deepen healing. These "parts" are metaphorical "little beings" that live in our minds and manifest into physical or emotional reactions from traumatic events. Dr. Frank Anderson has spent decades of his life studying these parts and sharing his findings to help others utilize built-in resources like their "self-energy" to navigate their own traumas. Join us as Sue Marriott and Dr. Anderson weave together psycho-pharmacology, trauma, neuroscience, attachment, and internal family systems. More at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
We've heard of post-traumatic growth, but what about coping while the trauma is actually happening? Co-host Sue Marriott LCSW CGP and trauma expert Arielle Schwartz, Ph.D. take a deep dive into post-traumatic and peri-traumatic growth. This compassionate conversation is full of excellent resources for enduring when overwhelmed. Learn more about yoga for trauma, somatic therapy and EMDR with these resources. More episodes on modern attachment on neuroscience at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
The science of trust is key. Deciding who to trust in today's world is especially hard - fake news, political polarization and societal strife amplifies our already on guard nervous system. When our trust has been broken, whether early in childhood or in our adult relationships, learning who to trust can prove even more challenging. In today's episode, Dr. Steve Finn and Dr. Ann Kelley discuss the science behind epistemic trust and why many of us may have broken trust meters. They discuss how trust issues can create a mess in our relationship, whether we are the constant skeptic who resists taking in new information or we tend to trust blindly, without testing or holding healthy doubts. Together they provide deep and compassionate insights into these struggles and how they relate to internal working models. A fan favorite, Dr. Finn returns to bring his years of expertise to our listeners about ways to build curiosity and tools of mentalization, including our ability to handle healthy skepticism. Shownotest at www.therapistuncensored.com/180
This episode explores individualistic thinking and will support you doing the tough internal work to give up power in favor of connection. Utilizing neurobiology, years of research, and professional experience, Terry Real and Ann Kelley break down the history of individualism and the toxic patterns it can hold in our society and in our relationships. Episode notes at www.therapistuncensored.com/180. Gut health impacts mood and brain function - support your gut health with our sponsor, Athletic Greens AG1 at this link www.athleticgreens.com/therapistuncensored
We often focus on being understood through words, but guess what? Words and verbal communication can be mildly irritating to our nervous system. Learn what works and what doesn't when trying to build closeness and connection with those you love. Tune in for this week's episode as co-host Sue Marriott and John Howard discuss the power of mindfulness and spirituality on our minds and body, and the lasting roles they play in all types of relationships.
Many of us struggle with hyper-vigilant minds that overwhelm our nervous systems. Some of us overcompensate by habitually tuning out, causing us to miss important information from our bodies and our relationships. Dr. Amishi Jha summarizes the neural bases of attention and the effects of mindfulness-based training programs on cognition, emotion, resilience, and performance.
Explore compassion from its neurological and societal basis through the Dr. Kristin Neff's research writings and current conversations. Embrace self-love using the bravery of showing up as your authentic self.
Tune in as we follow up on last week's episode, and sit down with amygdala expert, Dr. Joseph LeDoux. We discuss the non-conscious versus unconscious, protein synthesis, the differences between fear and threat, and how it all applies in the world of attachment.
Sue & Ann are blown away! They are hosting world-wide simultaneous LIVE Meet Ups with other neuronerds (those interested in applied attachment and using the sciences of the mind to grow security) in 7 countries and many cities across the US this Friday, 4/22/22. JOIN US - see the updated list, timing and location of events here: www.therapistuncensored.com/meetups.
Ann and Sue blend their own personal experiences and knowledge of neuroscience to help improve your relationships and integrate healing change within the body. Follow along as they apply all we know about the fear system and the unconscious defense, and cover the misconceptions about how the amygdala is often perceived as the "fear center" of the body.
It's easy to ignore or not notice the impact of stress and trauma on your body, but this can have a devastating impact on you physically emotionally and also on your relationships. Guest Dr. Elizabeth Stanley knows stress reduction - she had developed a program used by the US military called Mindfulness-based Mind Fitness Training. Co-host Dr. Ann Kelley and Dr. Stanley discuss practical strategies that will help you build resilience, recover from trauma, heal and thrive. Find show notes and more episodes at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes.
Writing courageous words can heal deep wounds. In today's episode with Courage to Heal author Laura Davis, we discuss reading and writing as part of our therapeutic journey aka bibliotherapy, family reconciliation, mother-daughter bonding and we explore the questionable power of memory. Her new memoire, the Burning Light of 2 Stars, Laura Davis and Sue Marriott have a moving conversation that is surely to bring you the feels.
A theory around trauma is that when it occurs it "gets locked in the nervous system" and the way in which the body stores the trauma - in the form of thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations - can be left fragmented, therefore delaying true healing. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessings, also known as EMDR, is an evolving science that utilizes bilateral stimulation to help connect the left side of the brain to the right in order to form more cohesive, healing thoughts to better support the healing process. Tune in for this episode as co-host Dr. Ann Kelley and Dr. Parnell take a deep dive into the evolution and successes of EMDR.
Hearing yourself criticized impacts your nervous system no matter if the voice is your own or someone else. Ann and Sue take a deep dive into self-criticism, self attack, and internal criticism of others. They look at how it relates to attachment styles and use it as a window in to unconscious scripts we carry about ourselves and the world.
"Call-out culture" - a term coined within the last few years, but a concept that has existed long before. With a society immersed in technology, there are many positives about the seemingly never-ending conversation, but with the increase in connection, there's also an increase in the ability to speak negatively to and about one another. How do we educate others without tearing them down? In a divided world, changing our approach can help create social change. Loretta J. Ross, an activist, professor, and self-proclaimed "professional feminist" has dedicated years of her life to understanding how and why this culture has evolved. Follow along in her insightful discussion with co-host, Sue Marriott as they explore the intentions behind these actions, the root of the issue, and how to more effectively "call-in" without "calling out" using the "Five C Continuum" process.
What's the excitement about? Catch up on psychedelic-assisted therapy by learning more about psilocybin, MDMA, ketamine, ibogaine and more with this episode featuring Dr. Dan Engle of Kuya Institue of Transformational Medicine.
Everyone is familiar with reacting “in the heat of the moment,” but do we really understand what that means? In this episode, Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley unravel the mystery behind our nervous systems auto-pilot settings. They simplify otherwise complex ideas by breaking in to 2 main points. Becoming aware whether you are in the Protection versus Connection pathways in our nervous system helps us manage them. How does our story affect how we react and deal with conflict, and how can we mitigate it? Tune in for this insightful and eye-opening discussion on our internal working models when interacting with others. More at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
Learn the 3 C's of connection and social emotional learning. Co-host Dr. Ann Kelley and child specialist, Lindsey Kealey dive into strategies for teaching kids how to regulate their emotions and promote positive connection with others. Linsey Kealey has developed a trauma-based, neuroscience-informed program that uses social emotional learning and problem-solving strategies to help all of us make positive decisions and thrive in our relationships. She utilizes the Three C's method, connect, calm and collaborate, to help transform the way we interact with ourselves and others. They discuss the three C method of connection to help cultivate healthy relationships and positive development in our children. MORE www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
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Using neuroanatomy and her experience having a massive stroke that took her self-conscious mind, Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor and Sue Marriott discuss the 4 skill subsets in the brain that help us relate to ourselves and the world. Her TED Talk was the first one to ever go viral and has been viewed now 27 million times, so her ideas are clearly inspiring. Her new work brings together psychology, neurobiology and spiritual awakening.
NOTE Dec, 2021: We will be releasing deeper dive episodes of Jill Bolte-Taylor's work and explore Whole Brain Living together on our private feed (only $5/mo). In addition, once we get through the book, we will have a live discussion all together in Jan, 2022. Join us by clicking the image to the right or go to www.therapistuncensored.com/join
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor is a Harvard-trained neuroanatomist who suffered a stroke that led her on a path to rediscovering her brain. Her viral TED Talk, “My stroke of insight,” was the inspiration for her first book, My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey. Now she's back to offer a deeper insight into the inner workings of the mind with her latest book, Whole Brain Living: The Anatomy of Choice and the Four Characters That Drive Our Life. In this episode, she dives deep into how the four distinct parts of our brain dictate how we live and be in the world. She gives great insight on how we can create anatomy by truly getting to know these four characters and owning our power. Tune in for this interesting and eye-opening discussion that could change the way you live your life.
Show Notes:
00:00:00 Introduction 00:03:30 The Beginnings Of Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor 00:06:18 On her viral TedTalk 00:08:17 What science can’t explain 00:10:10 Left hemisphere vs right hemisphere 00:14:51 From My Stroke of Insight To Whole Brain Living, the individual in the left brain vs the individual in the right brain 00:19:40 The Four Characters: Character 1(top-left) & 2(left lower limbic) 00:31:38 How your brain can change the narrative 00:36:00 Regulation in the limbic system 00:40:53 The Four Characters: Character 3(right lower limbic) & 4(top-right) 00:50:08 The BRAIN Huddle and our personal power to choose how we want to be 01:00:40 What’s next for Dr. Jill 01:02:27 The harmony of all Characters as the evolution of humanity 01:04:08 How to contact Dr. Jill 01:06:41 Psychedelics and connection with the planet 01:09:50 More on how to contact Dr. Jill Hear more psychology and neuroscience in previous episodes: Episode 93 Polyvagal Theory with Dr. Stephen Porges Episode 110 Story Follows State (more polyvagal theory) with Deb Dana Episode 117 Resilience Trauma and the Brain with Dr. Bruce Perry --
Listen to the podcast here:
Whole Brain Living - Psychology + Neuroanatomy + Spirit with Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor Transcript:
Ann Kelley:
You are going to be blown away by this episode with Jill Bolte Taylor. We didn't find out until after the interview that Oprah Winfrey named her as one of her all-time favorite guests and you're going to see why. This episode is a conversational mix of fascinating life stories, insights about neuroanatomy and psychology and good inspiration.
Jill Bolte Taylor is a Harvard-trained neuroanatomist who started her career researching the brain and mental illness but she suffered a stroke on the left hemisphere of her brain. Through her experience of the stroke itself and her recovery, she continues to bring some of the most amazing insights regarding brain function and Whole Brain Living: The Anatomy of Choice and the Four Characters That Drive Our Life.
Her TED Talk was the very first one to go viral, I believe, with almost 28 million views. In this episode, my cohost, Sue Marriott, explores her thoughts on what made her message take off and what she was tapping into that people needed. After her first book called My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Person...
We are still excited by the exceptional opportunity to learn directly from Dr. George and for the privilege we have in getting to sit down with so many incredible experts in the field of attachment and the relational sciences. We thought there was no better way to follow up than to bring you an in-depth session with Ann and Sue to really get into the heart of attachment assessment. Follow along as they explore what attachment really means, how research has evolved, and how it is relevant on a clinical level. Guided by excerpts from the conversation with Dr. George, they share personal stories, and their own knowledge of the topic to give you 40 minutes of insightful, candid conversation to expand your knowledge even greater. You won't want to miss it!
This is an incredible opportunity to sit with a legend in the field of attachment research! Dr. Carol George worked directly with Mary Main, and her dissertation lead to the Adult Attachment Inventory (AAI). She and Sue Marriott discuss wide-ranging topics all with the eye on using the whole of this research in real life and in the clinical setting. Learn about the Adult Attachment Projective, the history of the research and more about this incredible woman who is a living legend.
Overcome defense and fear - Catch up with hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott while they discuss the difference between cognitive understanding of modern attachment and regulation and the bottom-up experience of it. We distort information coming in - either by not registering interpersonal information or by over-interpreting the importance of an exchange (up-regulating with fear). This is an unconscious process that to undo we have to have the courage and the resources to feel the feelings that cause us to defend. They walk through it with you they don't just tell you what to do, so join us in understanding our own defensive process. Find episode notes at therapistuncensored.com/episodes.
The is the third and final episode of our three-part series on attachment where Ann and Sue take a deep dive into the fourth category on what we call the basic attachment spectrum: disorganized attachment. No matter your trauma history, this category relates to everyone and can be applicable in many areas of life. Follow along to see how disorganized attachment appears and affects adolescent and adult life, and ways to help conquer this disconnection and form healthier, more secure relationships.
This is the second of three episodes on the basics of modern attachment and the attachment-regulation spectrum. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott break down the red side of the attachment spectrum, anxious attachment. Find more at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
This is the first in a loosely organized 3 episode series on the basics of modern attachment. New season starts Nov 1. You may think you are calm cool and collected, but ask around. :) This episode pairs with the next 2 in discussing attachment patterns in adulthood and are the core content from which we will pick up again Season 6. We keep learning a lot and updating our model so tune in and see where we go with it over time, okay?
This episode replay is packed with cool content which is why we wanted to share it again! Learn about complex trauma, debunk myths of false memories from an expert witness for the prosecutors of child sexual abuse, and revisit the 3 Pillars Model of effective treatment for attachment disturbances, Dr. Daniel Brown!
It’s hard to verbalize the problem with “evidence-based” models of care, but renowned psychoanalyst and psychologist Nancy McWilliams does just that. In today's replay, she further describes what happens in quality depth-oriented therapies such as psychoanalytically-informed, attachment-oriented therapy, and integrates the neurobiological aspect that Freud started that has now been confirmed. Enjoy this episode replay, because it still has so much wisdom to share.
In this episode Therapist Uncensored co-host Dr. Ann Kelley joins guest Dr. Susan Ansorge to talk about was to communicate about sex.
Unpack the neuroscience of shame with Dr. Stephen Finn and co-hosts, Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP. It is probably one of your least favorite feelings, but it contains important interpersonal information for us and is a good one to deep-dive around. This is a replay from the archives, but is highly relevant today as nobody is feeling very good about themselves right now.
Interpersonal co-regulation requires boundary-setting. Therapist Uncensored co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott join the founder of IPNB Psychotherapy of Austin, Dr. Juliane Taylor Shore, in a discussion on interpersonal neurobiology and regulation. We’ll explore the three types of boundaries, how to co-create them plus how to stay regulated using internalized relationships with the self.
In this episode replay, we’ll go over where many parents go wrong, what we can do instead, and how shifts in our strategies can revolutionize our households. Learn the strategies of the Nurtured Heart Approach with expert guest, Elizabeth Sylvester.
Learn the cheat code to parenting in a pandemic with Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Bryson as they break down the science behind attachment and showing up. This is literally from the father of interpersonal neurobiology and his colleague as they apply the actual science to managing massive uncertainty and unprecedented stress.
Sue Marriott LCSW CGP and Ann Kelley PhD conclude their fifth season of this podcast. Therapist Uncensored is packed with incredible content and has an archive of episodes developed over the past 5 years with the theme growing security. The expert guest list is an embarrassment of riches. This episode reviews some of the highlights and points you in the right direction based on your interest. Shownotes at therapistuncensored.com/tu150.
The Modern Attachment-Regulation Spectrum - a model developed to describe attachment and neuroscience discussed by Sue Marriott & Ann Kelley. They summarize the 5 seasons so far and give a review of what they've learned. If you have ever wanted to understand attachment or keep up to date with the science, this podcast is packed with resources for you to learn and grown. See more at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
Today's episode dives into a specific form of healing relationships, Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT). Co-host Sue Marriott talks with therapist Camille Scent about Sue Johnson's widely-respected treatment model. EFT is based in attachment science is a powerful tool in transforming even very difficult relationships.
Bioenergetic therapist Dr. Robert Coffman joins co-host Dr. Ann Kelley for a conversation on body-focused therapy. Learn the about the interplay of your nervous system and how that relates to attachment and trauma.
"Insight is the boobie-prize of therapy." Lori Gottlieb & Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP discuss Gottlieb's NYT best-seller, Maybe You Should Talk to Somebody. There are many misconceptions and stereotypes about therapy, and in today's episode get a fast take on how to best use the experience to get what you actually need.
"We're unreliable narrators of our own story. The parts we DON'T see are the ones that can help us the most." Full shownotes at www.therapistuncensored.com/podcast
Attachment science is one of the most empirically validated theories of human development and is considered by many to be biologically driven and universal. But how can psychological science developed by educated European scholars in the 50's not unintentionally have some implicit bias? Join us in re-examining our assumptions about healthy child development, maternal sensitivity and attachment "insecurity." It's an overdue awkward and highly imperfect conversation but exactly what we should be talking about today. More at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes.
A poignant short story about isolation to connection. There is hope for us all - no matter your attachment history, there is hope for change with relationships. In this episode, Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP shares a specific case about an awkward goose named Felicity as another way of looking at change in attachment. Dan Stern's paper linked and recommended. Find more at www.therapistuncensored.com
Dr. Ramani Durvasula joins us to deepen our series on challenging personalities and to discuss the underpinnings of narcissism as it relates to attachment. Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP and Dr. Durvasula discuss how to identify and navigate these tough relationships. See more at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
Attachment experts teach us how to boil down the essence of what heals humans. Learn more about trauma-informed parenting and therapy here. www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes.
Can the past actually affect you today... that was years ago, no way how your mom treated you has anything to do with now, right? Decisively, wrong. Attachment science is the most researched psychological concepts and stands up to decades of study. However it has evolved and been fine-tuned around what is actually happening as we develop into the persons we become. Dr. Sroufe talks with Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP about his life's work as an attachment researcher - join us to get the skinny on what is true, and what we thought was true but is not. Find shownotes here www.therapistuncensored.com.
Learn what the most common request in couples therapy is and why it hides more than it reveals. Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson expert guests.
Dive into hook up culture, locker room talk, and the modern shifts in youth sexual behavior and health. Peggy Orenstein unpacks her new book “Boys and Sex” with co-host Ann Kelley. In this peak behind the curtain of the experience of young male sexuality, we’ll see how boys struggle with the conflicting needs of the conquest narrative of sex and their own internal understanding of pleasure and vulnerability. Her book was written about both cis and trans men, and covers the whole spectrum of sexual orientations, backgrounds, and experiences.
Last in a series on the various types of narcissism, borderline dynamics and taking a hard look at your part of difficult relationships. Holding Your Own with Challenging Personalities is a 6 part series lead by Sue Marriott and Dr. Ann Kelley. Packed show notes and honest conversation gives you support to deepen your confidence in improving close relationships. Find more at www.therapistuncensored.com.
Accusations are their confessions. In this episode learn why we elect, promote, excuse and love those with malignant narcissist tendencies. Sort out the other forms of self-involvement, psychopathology and anti-social traits from this dangerous personality structure. Sue & Ann finish out their series on Holding Your Own with Challenging Personality Traits - this is session 5 of 6. Find more here www.therapistuncensored.com
When does sensitivity cross the line into clinical reactivity? Borderline traits, or those with highly reactive personalities, are another common challenge in relationship that we might need support to navigate well.
Today's episode sees co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott unpack high reactivity through a caring and developmental approach. Together, they discuss how these dynamics and traits arise, what they look like, and what we can do when we find ourselves in relationships with them. Find more here www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
When does self-consciousness and self-reflection cross the line into self-preoccupation? Covert narcissism is also called thin-skinned, vulnerale, depressed or closet narcissism. It's a real thing but unlike grandiosity, it's quite hard to spot! Think about it - if you feel when you walk in a room everyone is looking at you - admiringly or judgmentally, either way - that is a narcissistic fantasy. Today's episode follows the other side of grandiosity. Find more here www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
First in a series Holding Your Own with Challenging Personalities - this episode unpacks the 5 types of conflict in couples, conditions to develop security and cornerstones of what makes secure functioning couples secure. This sets up our later episodes on the various types of narcissism, misunderstood borderline relating, antisocial and malignant narcissism, unconscious defenses for everyone involved, suspected causes of high reactivity or impaired empathy, and a focus all along on what you can do to improve your circumstances - whatever that means for you.
More...www.therapistuncensored.com.
Dr. Ann Kelley & Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP reach out to you directly during this time of crisis exhaustion
and total burnout. Love & connection cannot be stopped by fire, storm, guns or people in temporary power.
Be a weapon of peace.
People are profoundly bad at predicting their own attachment status, and if you are trying to do that you are headed in the right direction. :) That sort of mindful inquiry is part of attachment security - learn more in today's episode. Bethany Saltman and Sue Marriott discuss the Strange Situation, the original attachment research by Mary Ainsworth. They bring to life what it means and how to see it in everyday life. more at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes.
Love is not a soft feeling, it is "deep biology." Oxytocin research pioneer Dr. Sue Carter joins co-host Sue Marriott to unravel the mystery of Sue's favorite neuropeptide. You may have heard of oxytocin in the popular press, it's often called that "love drug." You'll hear that t's story is a bit more complicated than just that, as it also helps us protect and defend from intruders, and heals our body physically. www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes.
What if you could get the benefits of therapeutic psychedelics without ingesting any drugs?! Trey Ratcliff's new art creations, Machine Elves, may be just the direction for non-drug, mind-expanding experiences that can help us heal. In this concluding episode of Season 4, co-host Sue Marriott is joined by photographer, artist and consciousnesses-raiser Trey Ratcliff. They dive right into the exotic world of mind-enhancing experiences, includes both psychedelics but also non-drug experiences that can bring the promising results that are emerging from carefully studied psychedelic research. See more at www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes
Emotionally and Behaviorally challenged children can overwhelm any parent or system. In this episode, we’ll go over where many parents go wrong, what we can do instead, and how shifts in our strategies can revolutionize our households. Learn the strategies of the Nurtured Heart Approach.
Dr. Elizabeth Sylvester joins co-host Dr. Ann Kelley as they unpack the 3 "stands" of the NHA approach for relationship-focused engagement with children and teens. We learn that with the right attunement, and a bit of practice, we can form new and deeper bonds with our children that result in long term behavioral and emotional changes.
Learn more about real-life application of IPNB and the relational sciences in general by visiting us at TherapistUncensored.com
COVID-depressed? Need help w the kids? Spouse strain?
We have partnered with Better Help online therapy to assist in bringing you the professional supportive care you deserve, no matter where you live. Use our coupon link BetterHelp.com/therapistuncensored.com to get 10% off your first month. Internationally available with access to therapists in multiple languages! GLBTQI and POC - friendly.
Who is Dr. Elizabeth Sylvester?
Dr. Elizabeth Sylvester has worked with children, teens, parents and families in the Austin area for 35 years. She is experienced with both inpatient and out-patient work, and has worked in non-profit, treatment center and private practice settings. Locally, she is known for the effectiveness of her work using the Nurtured Heart parenting approach. Also, she has extensive experience treating behavior disordered children, ODD, ADHD, adoption, bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, divorce, and attachment.
Over the past 15 years she has built her experience training and supervising pediatric psychotherapists. Dr. Sylvester is the co-founder and co-owner of Austin Child Therapy, a support service for child and family mental health practitioners, which provides advanced clinical training and other services to clinicians.
Why the Nurtured Heart Approach?
- It is a framework for parenting that works to reclaim a relational energy with our children. With this approach it changes the emotional tone of the family. Also it creates a more cooperative and uplifting family environment.
- The Nurtured Heart mindset creates a deep internal security in the family system. It helps everyone in the unit regulate and reset their big swings in emotion to bring everyone together in a more complete way.
- Creating and celebrating the success of the children helps them have a full heartfelt ownership of their abilities and gifts.
What is the Nurtured Heart Approach?
This approach consists of three "Stands":
- First, no energy with negativity. Instead of blowing up at a child when they do something wrong, the Nurtured Heart approach seeks to maintain a calm and clear correction. Maintaining a simple and low energy environment around mistakes helps ensure that the child can feel more trust and more connection.
- Second, high energy with positive encouragement. Whenever the child does something right, even small steps in the right direction, you can increase engagement and your energy. This helps the child really feel the presence of their own success. In this way, everyone learns that connection and engagement are all centered on positive behaviors and not negative ones.
- Third, total clarity about expectation. Just because we praise positive behaviors and give low energy responses to negative behaviors doesn’t mean we can’t be strict. The Nurtured Heart approach requires a consist...
Discover the 3-step community-based program that is has proven to be a powerful non-traditional model of mental health care delivery.
In this episode, researcher and program director Dr. Ruth Verhey joins co-host Sue Marriott to discuss this community-based intervention, the Friendship Bench. Together they explore the benefits and barriers to building a cutting edge community-driven approach to mental health. By looking at what makes it effective, we can begin to explore what makes therapy effective in general and learn from the need to strip away the "extra" that may not add value to mental healthcare. Shownotes at https://therapistuncensored.com/tu127-friendship-bench.
Modern Attachment-Regulation Spectrum (MARS)... what is that anyway?
Pausing the riches of the guest interviews, Ann Kelley & Sue Marriott are back to discuss what has changed in the attachment field. They share what makes it modern anyway, review the science, and discuss their new Modern Attachment-Regulation Spectrum (MARS). They also cover best practices for getting through online therapy. Learn more at Therapist Uncensored www.therapistuncensored.com and get full shownotes here.
Learn the cheat code to parenting in a pandemic with Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne-Bryson. We’re all struggling with some uncertainty and fear right now, and as a parent it can often be especially hard to know how to raise a child during the rise of Coronavirus. Join co-host Sue Marriott and expert guests Siegel and Payne-Bryson to unpack their new book The Power of Showing Up. In this episode they use interpersonal neurobiology to break down the science of attachment, and share what it means to show up. Applicable not just to those with children but in all relationships, their four legs of promoting secure attachment can change the way we relate to ourselves, and each other, for the better.
Learn more about real-life application of IPNB and the relational sciences in general by visiting us at TherapistUncensored.com
Hip hop can be used as creative tool to resolve the deep need for self-expression and trauma in black and brown communities. Song writers in hip hop culture are some of the greatest writers of our generation, they can use in depth metaphor, satire, and word play to express widely shared feelings. This process literally gives a voice to experiences that are otherwise unexplainable and can be used to build community. Guests Dr. Eliot Gann and Dr. Raphael Travis show us the way -
The violence enacted by the criminal justice system isn’t new, so what makes this moment feel so different? Dr. Raphael Travis joins co-host Ann Kelley to break down the now global protests against the murder of George Floyd. Together they explore the role of youth empowerment, coronavirus, and narrative storytelling in helping fuel the biggest social movement in decades.
When we think of ADHD, we often imagine a restless & figity child who loses focus rather than the grown up parent or partner these kids eventually become. It is a legit neurological condition - yet adults with ADHD or ADD often believe that they are forgetful, lazy, selfish & disorganized. Unfortunately sometimes so do their partners. This episode will help you apprecitate your unique gifts or value your distractable partner. In this episode, Dr. Tuckman sheds light on how ADHD can impact our relationships, from conflict to sex, and outlines ways to improve both. "ADHD doesn’t create new problems, it just exacerbates the universal ones.”In this episode, co-host Ann Kelley speaks with Ari Tuckman, psychologist, certified sex therapist who specializing in ADHD within relationships. In relationships, couples often fall into imbalance, over-functioning and under-functioning. You recognize it - the one who manages order and responsibilities (aka "control freak") and the other looking for spontaneity and fun (aka "irresponsible one"). Who is Ari Tuckman?Ari Tuckman, PsyD, CST is a psychologist and certified sex therapist in private practice specializing in diagnosing and treating children, teens, and adults with ADHD, as well as couples and sex therapy. He has appeared on CNN, National Public Radio, and XM Radio and been quoted in The New York Times, USA Today, The Washington Post, The Boston Globe, USnews.com, The Daily Mail (UK), and many other media outlets. See his full bio below. Understanding Adult ADHD – today’s episodeAri advocates for ADHD awareness so adults and therapists can actively recognize it in others because it does not just affect children. These children grow up and continue to have ADHD. The general population of people with ADHD is around 4%, 1 in 25. But for the people that go to therapy, it’s more than 4% of patients. Effects of non-diagnosed ADHD can be painful: more anxious, depression, bipolar, marital discord, and substance abuse issues. If you don’t look for symptoms of ADHD, you can’t find it, which is to the detriment of the client and the therapist. What can we see in our office, partners, and ourselves to know if we have ADHD?Not everyone with ADHD has the classic symptoms of being hyperactive. If you were hyperactive as a kid, you are probably not going to see that in adults. ADHD shows up in adults as inattentive symptoms like time management, disorganization, forgetfulness, procrastination, and misplacing things. When you have ADHD in your immediate family there’s a 25% chance that you might have it too. People who have ADHD will see the symptoms show up in many stages of their life - childhood, college, as a young adult. The symptoms can show up in their job, or at home. ADHD affects school performance, career attainment, lifelong learnings, car accidents, relationship satisfaction - it’s always there and impacts your life interactions. When it goes undiagnosed it can drastically influence your self-esteem - but when diagnosed you can have a better understanding of your behavior. Medication can work very well, risk/side effects are very low, not addictive if used appropriately, and can reduce substance abuse problems when addressed first. Why give a stimulate to someone that would seemingly be “hyperactive?”The medications act as “brake fluid” so those affected are able to “hit the brakes” more easily before acting. When adults take ADHD medication, it gives them the ability to limit or be aware of thoughts that deter them from the task at hand. Without the medication, the thought of the task at hand can develop into many thoughts leading to being distracted, possibly forgetting, and then punishing themselves for forgetting. And ultimately leading to negative thoughts, anxiety, or the non-ADHD partner believing the task is being neglected. The non-ADHD partner can become bothered by this repeated behavior and the partner with ADHD will... Support this podcast
When we think of ADHD, we often imagine a restless & figity child who loses focus rather than the grown up parent or partner these kids eventually become. It is a legit neurological condition - yet adults with ADHD or ADD often believe that they are forgetful, lazy, selfish & disorganized. Unfortunately sometimes so do their partners. This episode will help you apprecitate your unique gifts or value your distractable partner.
With the tsunami of unclear and contradictory yet potentially life-threatening information coming at us right now - it's no wonder there is so much conflict within groups that are/were quarantining together. Reasonable people can interpret the suggestions very differently, in this episode we go into how to navigate how to manage right now. Why Stan Tatkin?Stan Tatkin was one of as the first guests on the Therapist Uncensored Podcast and is so awesome, we are bringing him back for a second interview. (https://www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes/episode-12-relationship-expert-stan-tatkin-interview/ (Listen to the first episode here).)He is one of the best translators of the science to application in the real world, so we really want to connect our audience with him. He's has a wealth of resources for ya! See full bio below. Bringing security to your partnerships during COVID-19 – today’s episodeDuring this Coronavirus pandemic, the existential threat is more apparent and strain within a couple starts to become more apparent. Partners are faced with understanding the goals of their relationship and whether or not they are moving in the right direction. Reasons to be together beyond loving each other and having children together. Many have been faced with breakups, running away, move in, or getting married during this existential time. Having an understanding that there is always an existential threat every day but we are being faced with it more closely during this time. Before and during the pandemic our partnered relationships have been on auto-pilot where "you know your partner," react out of memory/trauma, or take your relationship for granted. Homosapiens by nature are aggressive, war-like, comparing, and opportunistic and are being flighty because of the pandemic. How do pair-bound all of the time and not when things are going wrong/when we need more safety? By nature, we are pack animals and are built to be interdependent and have a shared purpose with a partner. (Ex: survive and thrive) With your partner, create an agreement, a culture, and a shared vision and purpose for being together. Love is not enough/emotions can fluctuate. A state of purpose and a goal is what can remain consistent in a partnership. Insecure model - "It’s my way or the highway," where the individual is "pro-self" not "pro-relationship." With attachment, we take the injustices and take them to our future relationships. Every couple has a duty to design their own ethos and culture, to layout ground rules of "what we do and don't do." Examples: "We protect each other. Our relationship always comes first. We support each other to perform well but not at the cost of the relationship. We are always working towards bringing peace and harmony to the relationship." Partners who do not agree on core values and will continue to disassociate. Mature long-running relationships that will last a lifetime where partners vow to operate from principles of fairness, justice, sensitivity, cooperation, creating win-win outcomes where they move together towards the same goal. Be collaborative about an issue or creating a new goal together to be on the same page on thoughts and feelings. Sue and Stan provide conversation examples of how that can be accomplished. Committing to making the partnership as successful as possible. People who are threatened will create threats. Single security about understanding what each individual feels, self-correct and approach from a friendly way to resolve the conflict. Only one needs to remember to self-correct to move towards resolution and the other will follow. Co-regulation - having each partner be active towards regulating each other to shift towards taking care of each other. Pay to play - in adulthood, there is conditional love, which makes us more accountable for each other. The couple and the principles are the guiding light on where to go. During this pandemic time, is a good time... Support this podcast
Learn to more effectively communicate in your quarantine bubble- (if you still have one). Stan Tatkin and Sue Marriott role-play effective and non-effective communication strategies and discuss defining the true purpose of having relationships at all.
Is this pandemic making your nervous system crunchy? Find out how to use one of the Elliott and Brown's 3 pillars of healing attachment to cope during this society-wide emotional hotbox. Using the first pillar of the three pillars of healing attachment, using the imaginings of your mind to leverage security, David explains how this practice can be beneficial during a time where we're looking for connection to regulate and heal. Why Dr. David ElliottWe are pleased to bring Dr. Elliott back for a second interview. We were so enamored with his co-authored book Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for Comprehensive Repair, that we stayed connected and are now working together on an exciting new project to bring this empirically-validated work with trauma to more of you. His full bio is below. Using imagery to help find security during COVID 19 – today’s episodeOur attachment system is designed to seek proximity especially during threat, danger, and distress. So in this time of needed distance from one another our nervous system is being especially challenged. For some of us, sheltering in place with others allows us to turn to one another for emotional and physical comfort. However there are millions of people across the globe who are sheltering in isolation or in unsafe or unsupportive environments. They are missing another persons comforting support and touch. David speaks personally from this experience because he is currently sheltering in place alone - that is, away from his family - so his advice is coming from a place of knowing. Elliott and his colleagues have developed a model for the treatment of early attachment and healing called the 3 pillars model discussed in detail in episode 34. In today's episode we discuss the tenets of the first pillar - the power of the mind to imagine - the essential elements of connection and security needed for coping during this COVID quarantine crisis. Ann & David discuss the empirically studied outcome of the power of imagination to generate learning and neurological growth. They provide examples of ways athletes and musicians use imagery to improve their performance. David then leads us through a mindful exercise based on the tenets of the first pillar. Through a guided exercise, he helps us create and be with an imagined "safe other" which provides our minds with the sense of social and emotional connection. Our bodies often can not distinguish between the real and imagined and our social-engagement system can respond with the soothing and healing connections that our bodies need during stress. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ie0YaRLLe3GOyOO0OXm02roSX4Cih7zY/view ( CLICK HERE) to access the audio of this mindfulness demonstration.
_____ https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode:Stand-alone mindfulness exercise https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ie0YaRLLe3GOyOO0OXm02roSX4Cih7zY/view (download here) Contact Dr. Elliott directly at http://www.davidelliottphd.com (http://www.davidelliottphd.com) Please refer to our previous episode with Dr. David Elliott for even more resources in the audio and show notes. - https://www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes/treating-attachment-disruptions/ (TU34: Treating Attachment Difficulties with Dr. David Elliott) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/write-for-therapist-uncensored/ (Attachment Disturbances in Adults Treatment for Comprehensive Repair (2016) Daniel Brown and David Elliott ) These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!) ___Dr David Elliott’s Bio:Dr. Elliott comes from an academic career in psychology from Harvard University. He gained experience at the Tufts University Counseling Center, the Outpatient Psychiatry Clinic of St. Elizabeth’s Medical Center in Brighton, Massachusetts, and McLean Hospital,... Support this podcast
Is this pandemic making your nervous system crunchy? Find out how to use one of the Elliot and Brown's 3 pillars of healing attachment to cope during this society-wide emotional hotbox. Using one of the three pillars of healing attachment, leveraging the power of mental imagery to gain security, David explains how this practice can be beneficial during a time where we're looking for connection to regulate and heal.
It isn't a war between the genders, it's a war between those interested in freedom of individual expression and equality, and those wedded to and defending the patriarchal script.“I measure activism based on impact... .” - Liz PlankIn this episode, co-host Sue Marriott speaks with Liz Plank, one of the worlds most powerful and influential voices for gender and policy. Who is Liz Plank?Liz Plank is an award-winning journalist and senior producer at Vox Media. Her TedxTalk, How to Be a Man: A Woman's Guide inspired her first book, https://amzn.to/3acOB8l (For the Love of Men: A New Vision for Mindful Masculinity,) where she “offers a smart, insightful, and deeply-researched guide for what we're all going to do about toxic masculinity. For both women looking to guide the men in their lives and men who want to do better and just don’t know how.” Mediaite's Most Influential in New Media 50 Most Influential Women by Marie Claire Forbes' 30 Under 30 in Media Episode 119 Show Notes:Why do we need more storytelling around men?More progress regarding issues around domestic & sexual violence if men were more involved in the conversation. Human rights are not a finite resource and when there is more equality, the better it is for everyone. Open the conversation for men to talk about masculinity and what it means to be a man because they do not feel safe doing so. Having an empathic conversation about feminism that includes all genders, a movement that benefits the whole society. Rewriting Gender RolesThe lack of conversations regarding masculinity between men. Following gender roles based on societal pressures and family development. Exploring historical and cultural examples of how gender roles change and vary to give men permission to explore their identity. A shift in the younger generation being accepting of gender fluidity. What It Means To Be A ManIdentifying as a provider when many jobs traditionally done by men are disappearing or moving overseas. Starting to have the opportunity to have an identity outside of their career. Have both genders shoulder the emotional burden and do the work to heal. Narcissism & Toxic MasculinityThere is a higher percentage of narcissism in men. Have more female leadership represented in entertainment & media to provide an understanding of female complexity. EducationEncouraging curriculum that teaches anti-violence, anti-sexual assault, verbal consent, emotional intelligence, and interpersonal relationships. A universal understanding that we all experience similar emotions and social anxiety so we can all advocate for each other. Liz's Influence:Wanting to measure her activism based on impact. Wanting everyone to feel welcome to this conversation on masculinity and help men go through their emotional labor. Continue to open the conversation for men of influence to discuss masculinity openly. Masculinity Influence:Brad Pitt speaking openly about masculinity to give others permission to do the same. Tim Ferriss expressing that external performance is not where "success" is and inner work is the harder challenge but more important. Liz’s Recommendations: https://www.amazon.com/Will-Change-Men-Masculinity-Love/dp/0743456084 (The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks) https://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Page-McBee/e/B00NDEXD5Y%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share (Thomas Page McBee) https://wadeadavis.com/ (Wade Davis) Learn about and connect with Liz: https://amzn.to/3acOB8l (For the Love of Men: A New Vision for Mindful Masculinity) https://youtu.be/9tNsNkzEzbw (TED Talk How to Be a Man, A Woman's Guide) https://twitter.com/feministabulous (Twitter) https://www.instagram.com/lizplankofficial/ (Instagram) http://www.elizabethplank.com/flipthescript (Web Series) _____ https://courses.therapistuncensored.com/p/attachmentexplained ()https://courses.therapistuncensored.com/p/attachmentexplained (Our course on Attachment and... Support this podcast
It isn't a war between the genders, it's a war between those interested in freedom of individual expression and equality, and those wedded to and defending the patriarchal script.“I measure activism based on impact... .” - Liz PlankIn this episode, co-host Sue Marriott speaks with Liz Plank, one of the worlds most powerful and influential voices for gender and policy.
Who is Liz Plank?Liz Plank is an award-winning journalist and senior producer at Vox Media. Her TedxTalk, How to Be a Man: A Woman's Guide inspired her first book, (https://amzn.to/3acOB8l) where she “offers a smart, insightful, and deeply-researched guide for what we're all going to do about toxic masculinity. For both women looking to guide the men in their lives and men who want to do better and just don’t know how.”
Mediaite's Most Influential in New Media
50 Most Influential Women by Marie Claire
Forbes' 30 Under 30 in Media
Episode 119 Show Notes:Why do we need more storytelling around men?More progress regarding issues around domestic & sexual violence if men were more involved in the conversation.
Human rights are not a finite resource and when there is more equality, the better it is for everyone.
Open the conversation for men to talk about masculinity and what it means to be a man because they do not feel safe doing so.
Having an empathic conversation about feminism that includes all genders, a movement that benefits the whole society.
Rewriting Gender RolesThe lack of conversations regarding masculinity between men.
Following gender roles based on societal pressures and family development.
Exploring historical and cultural examples of how gender roles change and vary to give men permission to explore their identity.
A shift in the younger generation being accepting of gender fluidity.
What It Means To Be A ManIdentifying as a provider when many jobs traditionally done by men are disappearing or moving overseas.
Starting to have the opportunity to have an identity outside of their career.
Have both genders shoulder the emotional burden and do the work to heal.
Narcissism & Toxic MasculinityThere is a higher percentage of narcissism in men.
Have more female leadership represented in entertainment & media to provide an understanding of female complexity.
EducationEncouraging curriculum that teaches anti-violence, anti-sexual assault, verbal consent, emotional intelligence, and interpersonal relationships.
A universal understanding that we all experience similar emotions and social anxiety so we can all advocate for each other.
Liz's Influence:Wanting to measure her activism based on impact.
Wanting everyone to feel welcome to this conversation on masculinity and help men go through their emotional labor.
Continue to open the conversation for men of influence to discuss masculinity openly.
Masculinity Influence:Brad Pitt speaking openly about masculinity to give others permission to do the same.
Tim Ferriss expressing that external performance is not where "success" is and inner work is the harder challenge but more important.
Liz’s Recommendations:
The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks (https://www.amazon.com/Will-Change-Men-Masculinity-Love/dp/0743456084)
Thomas Page McBee (https://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Page-McBee/e/B00NDEXD5Y%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share)
Calm is contagious, too! Coping through Coronavirus.Our hearts hurt for those affected by COVID. Those who are ill, survivors of those taken by the virus, service employee's continuing to work, front-line medical and science warriors, those who lost their job or savings, those who are isolated alone and those stuck at home in harsh relationships or with kids out of school and needy... it's all relative. It doesn't help to compare pain - pain is pain - we all need support through this. Period. So let's clasp hands and co-regulate one another through this as best we can. In this episode, Sue and Ann discuss how we are collectively processing the pandemic and provide some tools on how we can regulate our emotions during these times. We are having experiences that are creating emotions that we do not normally have from a day-to-day basis and will have to understand how to process. Get the Facts but don't Rubber-Neck (southern term I think, slowing down and looking hard at a wreck on the freeway even though you don't really want to see). Use social media purposefully, don't get hooked watching the stats there is nothing to see there that will help us cope. It's being covered each time as new news, so our nervous system stays in alert. Limit social media and create your bubble of safety. Use sources you trust and don't act from rumours. Name your feelings - identify the specific source rather than live in ocean of free-floating anxiety. Better to be afraid for your mom or your 401 K than feel the weight of anxiety globally. Connect socially as part of your ADL's - activities of daily living. Breathing Techniques - Breathing in for a count of 5 and exhaling for a count of 5. Imagery - Imagining a sense of calm and safety in your environment and community. Use your mind to soothe and comfort yourself - this is neuroscience and it actually works! Add a safe person, place or animal that comforts you. Perspective matters - this will end. Interconnectedness - We are all experiencing this collectively. You are not alone. The virus does not discriminate it's a great equalizer even though we aren't equally effected (it hits marginalized communities hardest). Know what you can and cannot control - We cannot predict what will happen. We can control what we focus on, what information and how much information we are consuming. Our global actions can have a global impact. http://betterhelp.com/therapistuncensored (Affordable online therapy) International, multi-lingual, accessible. Get help no matter who or where you are! http://betterhelp.com/therapistuncensored ()https://www.who.int/ (World Health Organization) https://www.tarabrach.com/rain/ (RAIN by Tara Brock) Recognize what is happening; Allow the experience to be there, just as it is; Investigate with interest and care; Nurture with self-compassion. https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/APPLE.pdf (APPLE) Acknowledge the thought that comes to mind. Pause your reaction and breathe. Pull back and understand that thoughts are not always your own. Let go of the thought or feeling. Explore the present moment. Stop. Touch. Go. Resources and Links to recent articles: https://www.nytimes.com/news-event/coronavirus (Trusted resources) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu64/ (TU64: Mindfulness Meditation with Yoga Therapist Kelly Inselman) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu63/ (TU63: Living with Cancer – The Six Principles of Emotional Healing with Guest Kelly Inselmann) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu52/ (TU52: Using Mindfulness, Movement and Yoga to Manage Arousal, with Guest Kelly Inselmann) https://courses.therapistuncensored.com/p/attachmentexplained ()https://courses.therapistuncensored.com/p/attachmentexplained (Our course on Attachment and Neuroscience) has been recently released and is now available! And, since you are deep into these show notes then you are one of us, so Support this podcast
Throw out getting through this one on you own - autoregulation is for the birds right now. We need each others nervous system for mutual support through this sucker, here is how....
"Regulate, then relate, then reason" Dr. PerryIn this episode, co-host Sue Marriott speaks with Dr. Bruce Perry, a renowned neuroscientist, psychiatrist, clinician and researcher on children's mental health. They discuss staging intervention based on brain develop in a technique called the Neurosequential Model. Who is Dr. Bruce Perry?Bruce Perry, MD, PhD is the Senior Fellow of The ChildTrauma Academy, a not-for-profit organization based in Houston, TX, and adjunct Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University in Chicago. He serves as the inaugural Senior Fellow of the Berry Street Childhood Institute. Dr. Perry is the author, along with Maia Szalavitz, of https://amzn.to/2wXjfof (The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog), a bestselling book based on his work with maltreated children, and https://amzn.to/3d2bCxa (Born For Love: Why Empathy is Essential and Endangered.) His most recent multimedia books, https://www.amazon.com/Brief-Reflections-Childhood-Trauma-Society-ebook/dp/B00E7A3FTW/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=brief+bruce+perry&qid=1584382038&s=books&sr=1-1 (BRIEF: Reflections on Childhood, Trauma, and Society) and RESILIENT: Six Core Strengths for Healthy Development were released in 2013. Over the last thirty years, Dr. Perry has been an active teacher, clinician and researcher in children’s mental health and the neurosciences holding a variety of academic positions. The Concept of ResilienceDefined as the capacity and basically the capacity to tolerate stressors and challenges and maintain function Resilience is built; children are not born with it, and it can also be tapped out How is Resilience Built?Resilience is built through relationally mediated experiences of moderate challenge where there's predictability, consistency and some degree of controllability. These experiences activate the stress response system. Because of neuroplasticity, neural networks are changeable but only when the neural network itself is activated, meaning the stress response system can only become more flexible, strong, and capable when activated. We can only become more resilient when stressed but in a certain pattern – needs 3 things: predictability, moderation, and controllability. The Underdeveloped Stress Response SystemWithout adequate stressors, example helicopter parenting, the stress response system does not become resilient, which leads to difficulty coping with the increasing complexity and demands taking place through development. The Neurosequential ModelDeveloped to explain the behaviors Dr Perry saw in children with overactive and underdeveloped stress response symptoms Looks at where the individual is cognitively w/ regard to self-regulation in comparison to their age chronologically Those who have not had the social learning experiences that correspond with their age in years do not have those skills. If given developmentally targeted opportunities, they can catch up Bottom up approach Particularly effective w/ complex trauma, can be used to treat adults and children Clinical Application of the Neurosequential ModelView maladaptive behaviors as a form of self-regulation Create a Daily Regulatory Plan Regulatory activity Predictability Spacing Dosing Intentional Guided Imagery For Building ResilienceCreating an internal world where a specific role and scenario are played out – we have more control over our internal process of imagining than we realize Doing this helps to desensitize an overactive stress response system when dosed properly Build empathy by reading novels Ideal Parent Protocol Kids and cartoons Thoughts on the attachment sciences, infant attachment, and adult attachmentThe early relational experiences are the major determinants of the set point for the stress response It is the quality of the caregiving that literally helps build in the capacity to be resilient or sensitized. In context... Support this podcast
Get the latest from one of the worlds most renowned neuropsychiatrists working with interventions to heal trauma. Dr. Bruce Perry joins co-host Sue Marriott to discuss staging understanding and treatment intervention based on brain develop in a technique called the Neurosequential Model. Also, see our dense show notes for more!
If you are interested in ACES, child advocacy, trauma, or therapy in general this is one you don't want to miss.
Are you a huge people-pleaser, conflict avoider, peace-keeper? Maybe you are just being nice, but if you are compelled to do it, driven to not take up much space, to not impose... and you don't have much of a choice about it, there may be something deeper going on. If so, today's episode talks to you, friend. Freeze Appease Dissociate... Appease is Fawning when it comes to C-PTSD. If you haven’t joined us in the 30-Day Challenge, you can start at any time by http://therapistuncensored.com/challenge (CLICKING HERE)! No sales, no gimmicks, just 4 supportive email over a month to support you in changing an emotional health habit that no longer works for you.SHOW NOTESShout out to all those on the 30-day Challenge! You've been getting a series of emails.... this show discusses a topic that will help MANY of you with your personal emotional growth challenge.FawningThis is actually an old term coined by Peter Walker in 2003 discussing Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) Fawn types seek safety by merging with the wishes, needs and demands of others. They act as if they unconsciously believe that the price of admission to any relationship is the forfeiture of all their needs, rights, preferences and boundaries. - Peter Walker on his website. You may be familiar with fight flight and freeze - the 3 common threat responses that our autonomic nervous system unconsciously engages when it perceives danger. If not, there is a TON of information about this in many previous episodes of Therapist Uncensored. We are interested because it affects how we relate to others and makes us act really stupid at times. :) Well, it's smart from an old survival perspective but can be really bone-headed in our adult lives when the reaction is triggered and yet the threat doesn't warrant such survival response. Well, when we can't escape the trauma and thus fighting or fleeing isn't an option, our bodies will freeze, appease or dissociate. The appease portion of the response is what Walker refers to as "Fawn." It is another survival response which is often associated with complex post-traumatic stress disorder. It occurs when survivors recognize danger signals and stay safe by complying and minimizing confrontation. Freeze, Appease or Dissociate - Fawning refers to Appease. People-pleasing Being unable to say how you really think or feel Caring for others to your own detriment Always saying “yes” to requests Flattering others Struggling with low self-esteem Avoiding conflict Feeling taken advantage of Being very concerned about fitting in with others Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder C-PTSD Who doesn’t love special offers? Discounted course – It’s Not Me It’s My Amygdala! Advanced Course Connecting the Science(s) of the Mind to Interpersonal Relationshipshttps://courses.therapistuncensored.com/p/attachmentexplained ()Our advanced course on attachment and relational neuroscience has been recently released and is now available (wahoo)! Since you are now deep into these shownotes, then you are one of us, use the code OURCLAN for an immediate discount for the course.While this course is popular with clinicians (CE’s available!), it is also for all who are interested in deepening security in yourselves and your relationship!. 4 hours of curated content!http://courses.therapistuncensored.com/p/attachmentexplained (CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION)Dive in and get more involved – join us on Patreon! Join our exclusive community of http://www.patreon.com/therapistuncensored (Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds) for as little as $5 a month! Increase your access, join a kick-ass like-minded community, get discounts on our courses and get exclusive content. Help us create a ripple of security by supporting us in freely sharing the science of relationships around the globe! https://www.patreon.com/join/2305101? (NEURONERDS UNITE! Click here to sign up.)BOOK of the... Support this podcast
Are you a huge people-pleaser, conflict avoider, peace-keeper? Maybe you are just being nice, but if you are compelled to do it, driven, don't have much of a choice about it, there may be something deeper going on. If so, today's episode talks to you, friend. Freeze Appease Dissociate... Appease is Fawning in Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD)
In this episode of Therapist Uncensored, co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott discuss their progress in their 30-Day Challenge. If you haven’t joined us in the 30-Day Challenge, you can start today by http://therapistuncensored.com/challenge (CLICKING HERE)! No sales no gimmicks, just support for you to change!SHOW NOTESPositive, Humbling, and Frickin’ HardAnn discuses the positive activation around sharing and discussing the 30-Day Challenge. Sue shares about the Challenge of the Challenge A bit ambitious because it is a deeply held unconscious learning Working on Changing Adaptations From Early ChildhoodThe consensus in the Facebook group and among our Patrons is that we're picking something that was an adaptation from our early life. It was important that we learn to do it, but it's not necessarily helping us now. The problem is it was laid down in our bodies so early and really without conscious thought, so even just thinking about it doesn't necessarily change it. Instead, we adapt to it, repress it, etc. This leads to a cycle of recognizing something, acknowledging that it isn’t working, and then repeating the behavior, which is induces shame. Relief and FrustrationThese behaviors are implicit (unconscious) not explicit (conscious), which makes them really hard to change. The Process: Community connection Trying to teach ourselves to do something new Picking one thing, not everything, with love, compassion, and curiosity Examine the symptom or behavior that is no longer serving us Just learning about it and becoming more aware Not trying to repress or change it Try something new and continue to learn Are we resistant to changing? Reluctant to give up the old behavior? Etc Adjusting the GoalSue discusses the zig-zag process of scaling her goal up and down based on her exploration process and how her thoughts about it changed after attending a conference with https://www.therapistuncensored.com/captivate-podcast/tu112_memory_reconsolidation/ (Bruce Eckert on Memory Reconsolidation. ) Two Particularly Helpful Takeaways From the ConferenceWe can’t know our unconscious Sue tests out whether or not The Memory Reconsolidation Technique is something we can do alone Because the behavior is implicit, it comes from the unconscious, so there is no way to see it by ourselves. But we can still move it by being curious about our responses and what comes up in the feelings of threat. Seeing the effects of the implicit coming out in our explicit reactions and working to get more comfortable with it invites it in more. State Dependent Learning When we're in a regulated state, we have access to all this great knowledge and learned information. As we get into a dysregulated state, the neural network shifts and it becomes a different learning. We really actually kind of lose contact for a moment with that more reflective stance. Especially if we come from a neglect or a trauma background or had tough things in life or had adversity. We have these learnings that are on their own neural network. Neural Networks and Changing Symptomatic BehaviorThere are 2 different neural circuits, and the only way to change the symptomatic behavior is to access the other neural circuit. This has to do with activation, so we have to actually feel the feelings How Do We know What’s Changing?It starts with the behavior starts with the symptom. In recognizing the symptom that you want to shift, you've gone much more internal and you've named one part of it. In exploring it, we are un-layering it, and we’re smack dab on our which is to to go deeper and shift to more of a sense of security inside of you. Who doesn’t love special offers? Discounted course – It’s Not Me It’s My Amygdala! Advanced Course Connecting the Science(s) of the Mind to Interpersonal Relationshipshttps://courses.therapistuncensored.com/p/attachmentexplained ()Our advanced course on attachment and... Support this podcast
Trying to make changes to unconsciously-driven beliefs and behaviors is quite the trick - if we aren't aware of it how can we change it? This is a look in the mirror and be honest sort of moment, you know what you can improve in how you relate to others. Now let's get to work!
Sue & Ann laughing at themselves, probably at our bumbling efforts on our 30-day challenge! Enough theory – it’s time to choose JUST ONE emotional health goal to work on for the next 30 days. Let go of what no longer serves you. Join us for our 30-day emotional health challenge!In this episode,Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott LCSW CGP are walking the walk. They personally challenge you to pick one thing to work on for the next 30 days – something challenging but within reach. Show Notes BackstoryIt’s February – this is not a new years resolution because they typically don’t work past about now. You hear about weight loss goals and fitness goals, but the most life-changing skills for long-term happiness and health is actually having close relationships. No matter how secure you are, how much therapy you have had, what letters are behind your name or how old you are, there is always something we can do to improve our sense of ourself and our close relationships. You pick! We give lots of ideas but the upshot is you know your own bad emotional habits. Self -InventoryWith love and compassion first – reflect on what you know you need to work on Pick something that if you could change, it would have real meaning to you Pick something that is clear enough to be measurable – if others can see it that’s even better Tell someone what you are doing – gain accountability When you fail, this is a true challenge, remember? When you fail learn a bit more about what happened, where the bad habit or self talk is coming from, what triggers the behavior and ideas for intervention Earned Security and Internal Working Maps – ReviewedAnn & Sue’s personal challengesAnn shares her personal 30 day challenge goal and how it developed – implicit emotional learning Sue shares her 30 day emotional challenge goal and what her implicit emotional learning she’s trying to unlearn and replace with something more adaptive for today How to identify your old IWM (adaptations to your early environment that are usually based on things that are no longer true) and replace them with new, more accurate IWM Earning Security – a cool club to be a part of 🙂 Examples of what you might try based on where you fall on the Attachment-Regulation SpectrumResources for this Episode – Recommended Bookshttps://amzn.to/2ugHeh2 (Self Compassion Workbook A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength and Thrive) by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer https://amzn.to/31nRr7l (Mindful Path to Self-Compassion ) by Christopher Germer https://amzn.to/2Um96en (Neuroscience of Human Relationships) by Lou Cozolino Who doesn’t love special offers? Discounted course – It’s Not Me It’s My Amygdala! Advanced Course Connecting the Science(s) of the Mind to Interpersonal Relationshipshttps://courses.therapistuncensored.com/p/attachmentexplained ()Our advanced course on attachment and relational neuroscience has been recently released and is now available (wahoo)! Since you are now deep into these shownotes, then you are one of us, use the code OURCLAN for an immediate discount for the course.This course is popular with clinicians (CE’s available!), all who are interested in deepening security in yourselves and your relationships are welcome to participate. 4 hours of curated content!http://courses.therapistuncensored.com/p/attachmentexplained (CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION)Dive in and get more involved – join us on Patreon! Join our exclusive community of http://www.patreon.com/therapistuncensored (Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds) for as little as $5 a month! Increase your access, join a kick-ass like-minded community, get discounts on our courses and get exclusive content. Help us create a ripple of security by supporting us in freely sharing the science of relationships around the globe! https://www.patreon.com/join/2305101? (NEURONERDS UNITE! Click here to sign... Support this podcast
“Yes means yes is the new no means no!”Often we doubt our gut instinct, question our right to take up space in the world, and live governed by fear -especially when we’ve experienced trauma. Meet the Safety Team, a group of ordinary women doing extraordinary work teaching women how to build resiliency and re-claim their sense of agency.In this episode,Co-host Dr Ann Kelley joins this powerful group of women as they teach us how to find our voice, feel more present and powerful in our bodies, build resilience, and heal trauma. Who is The Safety Team? Christine DiBlasio, Ph.D., is the president and co-founder of The Safety Team, as well as a 4th degree black belt in Karate. For over 15 years, Dr. DiBlasio has coordinated and presented workshops on violence prevention, risk reduction, and self-advocacy skills to middle, high school and college students, as well as to community and corporate organizations. She has been instrumental in curriculum development, with a strong focus on serving survivors of interpersonal violence and trauma so as to promote healing. In addition, Dr. DiBlasio created a college and high school internship program and continues to provide leadership training to these interns as well as to an expanding group of volunteers. Dr. DiBlasio’s dedication to the Safety Team is an outgrowth of both her background in martial arts as well as her extensive experience as a practicing licensed psychologist with 30 years of clinical experience. Dr. DiBlasio is the clinical director of a large mental health outpatient practice, and in the context of this work, has provided psychotherapy services for survivors of interpersonal violence, trauma and sexual assault across the lifespan.
Darcy Richardson, MS, is a forensic toxicologist and Vice-President of The Safety Team, a 501(c)3 non-profit focused on the empowerment of women and the reduction of sexual violence. As a toxicologist she has provided expert testimony in over a thousand cases in both criminal and civil courts at the state and federal level. These cases have included assault and sexual assaults where her expertise is used to discuss the impact of alcohol and drugs on the ability to consent or to react effectively in dangerous situations. As part of The Safety Team she uses this expertise to teach women about Drug-Facilitated Sexual Assault (DFSA), and how to effectively navigate this risk. Research indicates that half of all sexual assault cases involve alcohol and/or other drugs, which means addressing DFSA in Empowerment Self-Defense (ESD) classes and curricula is an integral part of reducing the incidence of sexual violence overall. Darcy is a 2nd degree black belt in Karate and a 1st degree black belt in Arnis.
Christina Allard, PT, is the volunteer coordinator, and instructor for The Safety Team, Inc. and a licensed Physical Therapist specializing in pediatrics and school-based therapy. She pursued additional training in childhood trauma and its impacts on development. She incorporates her knowledge of neuromuscular and somatic responses to develop movement strategies for emotional regulation in children and teenagers. Her interest in the therapeutic effects of movement sparked her interest in martial arts (brown belt in Karate) and her ongoing commitment to the empowerment model of The Safety Team.
Nancy Keller, MEd, CAS, is the treasurer, co-founder, and lead instructor for The Safety Team, Inc. and a licensed public-school educator with Winooski (VT) School District for more than 30 years. With expertise in curriculum development and instruction, she has created middle school programs for place-based learning in science and mathematics, as well as implemented a school-wide classroom-based program for physical activity. This program was designed to address the movement needs of those children who have experienced trauma, and was built upon her background in the... Support this podcast
Tori Olds with Deep Eddy Psychotherapy Learn to apply the advances in neuroscience to our lives in a real way – we all want to be able to do that, right? This episode delivers on that for sure – memory reconsolidation is changing how therapists practice and explains why those lightbulb moments can actually transform us if done correctly. 🙂In this episode,Powerhouse clinicians Tori Olds and Bruce Ecker join co-host Sue Marriott in a discussion on how memory reconsolidation brings awareness to old maps and traumatic emotional learning and gives us a clean slate on which to build new learning pathways. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/coherence-therapy-unlocking-the-emotional-brain-february-15-16-tickets-67466308545?utm-medium=discovery&utm-campaign=social&utm-content=attendeeshare&aff=escb&utm-source=cp&utm-term=listing (Saturday February 15, 2020: Introduction to Coherence Therapy, Austin, TX)Who is Bruce Ecker?Bruce Ecker, MA, LMFT is co-originator of Coherence Therapy and coauthor of Unlocking the Emotional Brain: Eliminating Symptoms at Their Roots Using Memory Reconsolidation; the Coherence Therapy Practice Manual & Training Guide; and Depth Oriented Brief Therapy: How To Be Brief When You Were Trained To Be Deep and Vice Versa. Clarifying how transformational change takes place is the central theme of Bruce Ecker’s clinical career, and he has contributed many innovations in concepts and methods of experiential psychotherapy. Since 2006 he has driven the clinical field’s recognition of memory reconsolidation as the core process of transformational change and has developed the application of this brain research breakthrough to advancements in therapeutic effectiveness and psychotherapy integration. Bruce is a frequent presenter at conferences and workshops internationally, has taught extensively in clinical graduate programs, and is in private practice in New York CityWho is Dr Tori Olds? Tori Olds, PhD is a psychologist in private practice in Austin, Texas. She is a co-owner of Deep Eddy Psychotherapy, a counseling center housing seventeen clinicians. She specializes in working with trauma, particularly attachment trauma, and utilizing mindfulness and self-compassion as a resource for personal growth. Alongside her clinical work, she has a passion for training therapists in experiential ways of working. She leads a number of study groups and is developing 10 online courses focused on helping clinicians develop experiential skills, as well as understand human development from an evolutionary, neurobiological, and attachment lens.Show Notes Meeting Tori Olds and Bruce EckerTori Olds: Clinician and leader of a training group on how to integrate experiential psychotherapies (AEDP, PACT, Somatic Experiencing) Bruce Ecker: Clinician and author of “Unlocking the Emotional Brain” Emotional LearningEmotional learning happens much as a Pavlovian response We often learn without awareness and become prisoners of emotional learning Emotional truths are a powerful mental model how of how the world works that we don’t often realize are there Low self-esteem works as a protective, adaptive tactic By bringing awareness to these learnings, we can de-pathologize them (therapists can help facilitate this) and begin the disconfirmation process Memory reconsolidationMemory reconsolidation: the brain’s built-in, natural way of using new learning to directly update and re-encode existing old learning This process targets emotional learning Memory reconsolidation can serve as a “unifying framework for the psychotherapy field, which has been so fragmented” Therapeutic Contexts of Memory ReconsolidationCoherence therapy, as well as many other different therapeutic models, can produce transformational change through memory reconsolidation Three stages: 1) Discovery 2) Integration 3) Juxtaposition Resourceshttps://www.coherencetherapy.org/files/Ecker-etal-NPT2013April-Primer.pdf (Primer on Support this podcast
You deserve better!! Are you lost in a narcissistic relationship? The term narcissism is easily tossed around, especially in this world of selfies. However if you are deeply connected to someone with the personality disorder narcissism it is a very real, painful and a seriously disruptive experience. It is also surprisingly difficult to identify when you are immersed in it, and difficult to disengage the pattern of supporting their world-view. We break it down here!In this episode on narcissism,Co-hosts Ann Kelley PhD and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP continue the dialogue on narcissistic relationships from a patron-requested perspective. This episode is about being in a relationship with someone with the personality disorder, narcissism. https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu104-narcissism-what-is-going-on-under-the-defense/ (To hear episode 105 on what causes narcissism, click here.)Narcissism OverviewEarly emotional wound which develops into an inflated sense of self-importance, Self-centeredness arising from failure to distinguish the self from external objects, either in very young babies or as a feature of mental disorder. Selfishness, involving a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration, a personality type. Grandiose narcissism – protect our sense of self by looking better and being better, demands mirroring from others to stay in connection. Depressed narcissism – we collapse on ourselves and feel like we are the worst person in the world. Hey gang, we just aren’t that special – thank heavens. Both stem desire to be loved and cared for & empty sense of self Signs of Being in a Relationship With a NarcissistIt’s always conditional You know they are sensitive or vulnerable but they can’t see it or deny it – externalize Can’t take feedback, turn it around on you One-directional relationship – you orbit them not the other way around Inability to accept any type of critique or criticism/accept that they have faults Scripted gestures that aren’t an apology Charming but superficial You feel lucky to be in this “special” relationship You begin to subjigate yourself, lose your self into them in order to keep the connection Gaslighting – manipulative cynical Can you say egg-shells? You are walking on them… Who is attracted to narcissistic relationships?ANYONE can get pulled in – the problem is the controlling manipulative behavior But if you find yourself attracting these kinds of people, or can’t get out of a relationship that involves serious narcissism, it’s better to compassionately find and accept yourself so you can begin to resist their requirement to mirror them Were you raised by someone with narcissism so you know innately how to put self aside and tend to the other A feeling one might be fulfilled if the person (narcissist) “saves” them Internal emptiness and relief around being told who you are, what you should do… Prone to being vulnerable especially around actualizing of self What Does Being In A Relationship With A Narcissist Look Like?Allure of narcissist helping you be your best self Seduction, jealousy, decisiveness – which gives way to controlling, possessiveness, and isolation Giving up freedoms and limiting exposure to avoid upsetting narcissist World orbits around narcissist instead of mutual orbit of a natural relationship Narcissist makes you feel like you are doing something to them, always your fault Ignore your own mind and perceptions to keep connected (dangerous) Always in the shadow of the narcissist Everything is about the narcissist Unable to apologize sincerely and feel remorse GaslightingComes from a movie where husband intentionally manipulates wife’s mind – something is happening, wife sees it, husband and others deny that it is happening Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a... Support this podcast
When we have an anchor in ventral, we can then go visit sympathetic and dorsal without being hijacked by it. In this episode of Therapist Uncensored,Co-host Sue Marriott explores the intersection of Polyvagal Theory, neuroscience, and attachment with Deb Dana. We will investigate how the mind creates stories from information relayed by the nervous system, and how we can rewrite the script to move toward security. Meeting Deb DanaDeb Dana is a clinician and consultant who works with trauma She has a training program called the Rhythm of Regulation Goals of this: understand the nervous system and help people become active operators of their own system Story Follows StateThe mind narrates what the nervous system knows Therapeutic goal: bringing explicit awareness to implicit processes Neuroception: our nervous system has a response to what is going on in the world and looks to others for cues of safety and danger The brain tries to make sense of what is happening in the body on a physiological level by making up a story Many of us have nervous systems that are shaped by experiences to be wary of connection; this is something that we work on shifting in therapy The Nervous System and AttachmentThe nervous system services our survival and sets the stage for attachment We have two survival states: Sympathetic: mobilized, energetic state- we see red folks here! Dorsal vagal collapse: immobilized, disconnected state- we see blue folks here! The Hopefulness in Polyvagal Theory“Experience shapes the nervous system and ongoing experience reshapes the nervous system” When shame reduces, curiosity arises The Autonomic LadderIt can be helpful to identify where you currently stand on the ladder, as well as track where you are going on the ladder Ladder orientation from top down- ventral vagal (anchored state), sympathetic (activated state), dorsal (collapsed state) Take Home TipsUse your voice! Intonation before information. We send cues of safety or danger through our tone of voice. Each nervous system is different in how it comes back into repair, and it changes over time. In a ventral state, there is community. If you’re in trouble, go social! (i.e. send a text, make that phone call, reassure yourself) Who is Deb Dana?Deb Dana, LCSW is a clinician and consultant specializing in working with complex trauma and is Coordinator of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium in the Kinsey Institute. She developed the Rhythm of Regulation Clinical Training Series and lectures internationally on ways Polyvagal Theory informs work with trauma survivors. Deb is the author of The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation and co-edited, with Stephen Porges, Clinical Applications of the Polyvagal Theory: The Emergence of Polyvagal-Informed Therapies.
Resources:https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/resources/Beginner's%20Guide.pdf (Beginner’s Guide to Polyvagal Theory) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/NICABM-DebDana-PolyvagalTheoryUsingtheAutonomicLaddertoWorkwithPerfectionism.pdf (Using the Autonomic Ladder to Work with Perfectionism) https://www.amazon.com/Polyvagal-Theory-Therapy-Interpersonal-Neurobiology/dp/0393712370/ref=asc_df_0393712370/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312607785736&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=5210828080770947100&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9028280&hvtargid=aud-801381245258:pla-422014399858&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=61775261186&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=312607785736&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=5210828080770947100&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9028280&hvtargid=aud-801381245258:pla-422014399858 (The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation) https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/ (Rhythm of Regulation Website)... Support this podcast
Resilience in real-life from a non-Western perspective. (Cover photo, Appleton took responsibility for feeding kids in his village by diving and spearing food from the sea.) “And if there’s any other person that is going through mental health problems or a very hard time in their life, or they have been through something really bad… I just want them to know that they’re not alone.” Alphanso Appleton In This Episode of Therapist Uncensored on Trauma and Resilience,Alphanso Kwame Appleton, a Liberian native, shares his experiences of growing up in a country devastated by civil war, living through the Ebola epidemic, and tragically losing his young daughter. Despite these repeated experiences of trauma, he is healing and has found purpose in his life. This is an incredible story that absolutely captures what resilience looks like and we are pleased that his recovery did not rely on traditional Western approaches. We have so much to learn. Interview by Sue Marriott. Meeting AlphonsoMeeting in Liberia through Strongheart and by happenstance, through the work of Dan Siegel. Mentoring youth Surfing Photography Life in LiberiaThe Liberian Civil War Escaping to Monrovia Child Soldiers Lack of education “Iron Lady”How the love and faith of Alphanso’s grandmother, whom he describes as an “Iron Lady”, protected him from rebel recruitment of child soldiers The Effects of Lack of EducationEffects on Society Effect on healthcare industry – and him personally regarding the loss of his daughter The Ebola EpidemicThe lack of belief and understanding that Ebola was real The spread of Ebola Alphanso’s http://saganet.ning.com/photo/thank-you-science?context=latest (photo that went viral thanking science for the Ebola vaccine) “…maybe my photo will help young Liberians know science helps the world and become scientists too.” – Photographer Alphanso Appleton Personal TragedyThe loss of Alphanso’s 18 month old daughter, Lisa. Alphanso’s Healing JourneyFaith Strongheart – learning a meditation practice Surfing The Universal Language of PhotographyResilience through expression of emotion through photos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njwEvrpHhno (“The Liberia Project” by Apartial featuring Alphanso Appleton) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcTJF2QiOxg&t=1s (“Portraits of Progress” by Alphanso Appleton) Moving ForwardCurrent and future endeavors Misconceptions about Africa Words of wisdom “Overall, it’s just finding something you love – something you love doing- something that brings you joy; something that makes you happy. Because that was a really key part of my transformation. That was a really key part of my healing.” Alphanso Appleton Other episodes you may enjoy:https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu91_curiosity_and_connection/ (TU91: Curiosity – One of the Most Powerful Tools For Connection) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/adverse-childhood-experiences/ (TU33: Adverse Childhood Experiences: A Roadmap To Understanding And Treatment) Resourceshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cPt9UbDtZA&feature=emb_title (“Alphanso Appleton: A Story of Becoming”) http://www.bbc.com/travel/story/20151022-the-making-of-child-surfers-not-child-soldiers (The Making of Child Surfers, Not Child Soldiers) https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/robertsport-liberia-surfers-paint-landscape/ (Article in Global Citizen – Surfers Paint Liberia) https://strongminds.org/?fbclid=IwAR398sF0RXoXYt-KgEFY9Bu5So7kc0DhwR68O1BdKlrNVipp3TR1KlpBP7c (Strongminds.org) Alphanso’s contact information alphanso19@gmail.com
Who doesn’t love special offers?https://courses.therapistuncensored.com/p/attachmentexplained ()Our advanced course on attachment and neuroscience has been recently released and is now available for a discounted price! While this course is aimed toward clinicians (CE’s available!), all who are interested in deepening security in yourselves and your relationships are welcome to... Support this podcast
Judgement says more about the judg-er than the judg-ee. It’s not Judgement – Bad. It’s Judgement-Interesting. Everybody judges and in truth, we unconsciously evaluate good/bad all the time – both positively and negatively. It’s our brains appraisal system. However unchecked it’s also a very handy interpersonal defense. Today we explore one aspect of insecure functioning, unchecked judgement and harsh self-criticism. It is just one common insecure pattern to think in absolutes and moral righteousness, and before you judge judgers, those of us who’s favorite flavor is self-criticism and self-judgement please be warned that harsh scale extends quickly to those close to us. Fun times to grow and learn we tell ya!! In This Episode of Therapist Uncensored,Co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott break down the big picture of attachment and take a deep dive into just one of the habits of insecure attachment – how we use judgment! Turn on your curiosity and notice your judgments as we go – it’s kinda fun, actually. The Pleasure of JudgementDescription of what self-righteous judgment looks like presented in an anecdotal but accurate way. Quick ReviewEvery human being has a system to manage threat. Blue – you down-regulate Red – you up-regulate The Role of JudgmentMethod of self-protection Response to a feeling of threat 2 types: self-righteous or self-critical Self-Righteous JudgmentIt’s a great feeling. What’s really going on underneath? Disconnection from threat in our own body Slowing down to experience what we are judging Fortified defense Not pathological, it’s protective Example of Blue Judgment Fear of Vulnerability Judging to keep at a distance Example of Red Judgment Telling others what they are doing wrong Judging to prevent expressing fear of abandonment underneath Non-JudgmentInability to create a judgment can be an indication that we can’t have a sense of self and an essence of threat, and that clearly defining ourselves is too vulnerable. (red-side of insecure spectrum, usually) Judgment Can Be A Healthy ProtectionNot all judgment is bad Explore it. Righteousness to RelationalityExploring the movie about Harriet Tubman The moral high road Righteousness as the lazy man’s way Making the move Effecting change while staying in the relationship Self-JudgmentAlso the lazy man’s road Same old negative thoughts No movement and no new neural pathways being built Keeps us stuck Moving from self-loathing to connection Putting our feet to the fire It’s not that it’s pathological – it’s information. We think it’s information about the other person, but really it can be a window into something more interesting if we open up to exploring it. Why do you judge THAT in particular? What parts of others make your skin crawl? Check if it’s disowned parts of yourself that you are attempting to distance from or stamp out in others. You see…. now it gets interesting and the door opens rather than slams close on the object of our scrutiny. Practice Noticing With CompassionFind your version of what it is that you’re judging. Have a little smile of humor when you catch yourself being judgmental Explore what’s underneath
Resourceshttps://amzn.to/377FVQ9 (Healing Your Attachment Wounds) by Diane Pool Heller https://amzn.to/2QnuRbt (Healing Developmental Trauma) Lawrence Heller https://amzn.to/32P4TAc (Self-Compassion, the Hidden Power of Being Kind to Yourself) by Kristin Neff Also check out https://www.therapistuncensored.com/73-2/ (TU73: Building Grit Through Self-Compassion) with Kristin Neff
Who doesn’t love special offers?https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/brain-neuroscience-nervous-system-1.jpg ()Our course is now available for a deeply discounted early release price! While this course is aimed toward clinicians (CE’s available!), all who are highly interested in deepening the... Support this podcast
Trauma is not a life sentence. We are rapidly learning what works to reverse the effects of stored injuries and today we will explore one treatment version of that, called Somatic Experiencing. First a shout out to a listener who connected us to our guest today, Ali Capurro – thank you! And to everyone else please note that we love these kinds of connections are always open to hear from you on who you think would deepen this conversation of earning security. In This Episode of Therapist Uncensored,co-host Sue Marriott explores Somatic Experiencing with Dr Abi Blakeslee. This interactive deep-dive takes you into the Somatic Experiencing process and provides hope and confirmation that healing trauma is possible through integrated treatment of the brain, the body, and the mind! The Foundations of Somatic Experiencing (SE)Founded by Dr Peter Levine – author of best-selling books “Waking the Tiger- Healing Trauma”, and “In an Unspoken Voice” SE is based on the study of how animals in the wild process and recover from stress and trauma. Focuses on working directly with the nervous system to help people reorganize the non-conscious survival adaptations developed by the sub-cortical or lower brain Definition of Somatic Experiencingthe experience of body in the present moment. What SE Looks Like in PracticePresent-centered because the healing happens in the here-and-now. It’s a process of following what is is happening in the body and taking a pause from the trauma content to down-regulate the amygdala to a state of safety before moving forward. “The trauma’s not in the event. It’s in the nervous system.”The Nervous SystemGetting “Unstuck” – Healing Trauma Through Body Awareness Pendulation – Peter Levine defines that as the expansion of contraction of all things moving between expanded States and contracted States. Orienting Exercise The Biological Model of the Threat Response CycleWild Animals Versus Humans During Threat Cycle: Orient – aware of something in environment Defensive Orienting – sense threat Moving Into Social Interaction – Moving Into Fight and Flight – these are active defense responses Increased sympathetic arousal, burst of movements, Moving Into Freeze – passive defense response Heart rate goes into a slow state like for hibernation. Digestion slows down, hello heart rate variability circulation. There’s nothing pumping to the arms and the legs, so everything shifts into this near death state Back to Exploratory Orienting Working With the Nervous SystemTracking Sensation – describing sensations happening in the body as they are happening Noticing Movement Patterns – acknowledging the shifts that occur Completion of Defensive Responses – allowing the body to carry out the response desired (runnint, punching, kicking, etc) but VERY SLOWLY Sympathetic Discharge When Coming Out of Freeze or Down From High Sympathetic Charge https://youtu.be/UN-9aljzsFg (Impala and the Baboon Video) Grounding Exercise Neuroception vs InteroceptionNeuroception is the lower brain assessment of safety/threat in the environment. Interoception is the awareness of one’s own internal states and can be learned over time. Who is http://www.abiblakeslee.com/ (Dr Abi Blakeslee):Dr. Abi Blakeslee is faculty at the Somatic Experiencing Trauma Institute and Foundation for Human Enrichment. She is additionally Dr. Peter Levine’s legacy faculty at Ergos Institute for Somatic Education. Dr. Blakeslee holds a Ph.D. in Clinical and Somatic Psychology and is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Her dissertation, with a committee that included Dr. Daniel Siegel, generated original research on the role of implicit memory in healing trauma. Dr. Blakeslee integrates SE with clinical research, secondary trauma interventions, and the psychobiological principles of attachment and shock trauma. She treats individuals, couples, children and families in her clinical... Support this podcast
Learn what actually works in therapy. It’s hard to verbalize the problem with “evidence-based” models of care, but renowned psychoanalyst and psychologist Nancy McWilliams does just that. She further describes what happens in quality depth-oriented therapies such as psychoanalytically-informed, attachment-oriented therapy, and integrates the neurobiological aspect that Freud started that has now been confirmed. Who is Nancy McWilliams?Nancy McWilliams, PhD, ABPP, is Visiting Professor in the Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology at Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey, and has a private practice in Flemington, New Jersey. She is on the editorial board of Psychoanalytic Psychology and has authored three classic books on psychotherapy, including the award-winning https://www.guilford.com/books/Psychoanalytic-Diagnosis/Nancy-McWilliams/9781609184940 (Psychoanalytic Diagnosis, Second Edition: Understanding Personality Structure in the Clinical Process). Dr. McWilliams is an Honorary Member of the American Psychoanalytic Association and a former Erikson Scholar at the Austen Riggs Center in Stockbridge, Massachusetts. She is a recipient of the Leadership and Scholarship Awards from Division 39 (Psychoanalysis) of the American Psychological Association (APA) and the Hans H. Strupp Award from the Appalachian Psychoanalytic Society, and delivered the Dr. Rosalee G. Weiss Lecture for Outstanding Leaders in Psychology for APA Division 42 (Psychologists in Independent Practice). She has demonstrated psychodynamic psychotherapy in three APA educational videos and has spoken at the commencement ceremonies of the Yale University School of Medicine and the Smith College School for Social Work. Show Notes – Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Therapy with Nancy McWilliamsPsychoanalytic Perspective, Trauma & Attachment Based Treatment• Challenges – academic and scientific • Short term focused • Technique driven • However, deprives individuals of the time needed to establish secure attachment to therapist, develop motivation to change, feel root feelings, etc. • Psychoananalytic Perspective • Humanistic-evidence based relationships • Proving and disproving Freud Trauma treatment history• Long term Therapy Benefits • Devoted Therapist Negative Transference“Difficult patients” typically are the ones that evoke parts of ourselves that we don’t like. Our own ugliness, our own badness, all of that. And again, that goes back to long-term treatment, but also long-term treatment of ourselves, you know, as doing our own work and really, you know, a lifelong process. Research on non-verbal communications and what works in therapy. Learning the defenses and what lies underneath• Narcissism/soft toss • Borderline • what would you advise for people to get the most out of their therapy or any close relationship that they’re in? Do you have thoughts about that?
If you enjoy this episode you may also enjoy these:https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu104-narcissism-what-is-going-on-under-the-defense/ (TU105: Narcissism, What is Going On Under the Defense w Sue Marriott & Ann Kelley) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu90_avoidance_robert_muller/ (TU90: Avoidance and the Difficulty Opening Up with Guest Robert T. Muller) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu-41/ (TU41: The Dark Side Of Therapy: Recognizing When The Therapeutic Relationship Goes Bad)
Resources:https://amzn.to/2X4X2NT (Psychoanalytic Diagnosis) by Nancy McWilliams (textbook for therapists and students) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/To_Know_and_to_Care_A_Review_of_Psychoan.pdf (To Know and to Care – A_Review of Psychoanalysis by Nancy McWilliams) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/Psychoanalytic_Diagnosis_-_Nancy_McWilli.pdf (Psychoanalytic Diagnosis – Nancy McWilliams)... Support this podcast
Hey everybody, we are BACK and ready to take off on Season 4!!! Wahoo! Narcissism – This time we focus on how it’s created and what is going on behind the narcissists defenses. Later we will address Malignant Narcissism, which is in a class all to itself! It deserves an entire episode, but for today we will look at what causes it, healthy and pathological degrees of it and what is really going on under the hood of the person afflicted with narcissism. We really heard the requests wanting to hear more about some of the diagnostic pieces of attachment, trauma and the relational sciences. Specifically, narcissism and borderline personality disorder are of great interest to many of you. We put our heads together about how to best do this in a way that honors those who are struggling with these issues and those in relationship with them. To do this, we are going to weave conversations about narcissism and borderline personality disorder throughout the season. It may be snippets in a podcast about something else, or entire episodes focused on these concerns. Today, we’re going to get started on narcissism. Greek version of the myth: Narcissus, was the son of River God Cephisus and nymph Lyriope. He was known for his beauty and he was loved by God Apollo due to his extraordinary physique. Narcissus was once walking by a lake or river and decided to drink some water; he saw his reflection in the water and was surprised by the beauty he saw; he became entranced by the reflection of himself. He could not obtain the object of his desire though, and he died at the banks of the river or lake from his sorrow. According to the myth Narcissus is still admiring himself in the Underworld, looking at the waters of the Styx. Healthy Narcissism (!?)We all have some element of Narcissism and if we don’t, we get run over in life. We don’t want to be a doormat but we also don’t want to be on a High Horse above it all. We all have narcissism, it’s healthy entitlement. Functional narcissism is about your sense of Self, healthy entitlement and being inside yourself, and really rolling with who you are as a person. It’s being confident instead of being overly in-tune to others opinion of you. Problematic NarcissismIf it’s a character trait rather than a moment in time, it’s all about defense. This defense protects the smallness and inadequacy and shame at it’s core, and to compensate, grandiosity is born. That or the opposite, which we will discuss, but if I attack the hell out of myself then I protect myself from you having less than positive feelings about me because I beat you to it. Basically, it’s about deriving self-esteem from outside affirmation in order to maintain internal validity. Narcissism is an injury to the Self, where we’ve had to give ourselves up in service of the other or blow ouselves up to feel “enough”. It is associated with the avoidant/dissmissing attachment category, or the blue side of the attachment spectrum. Narcissistic Tendencies Versus a Disorder (from a Psychologist’s Perspective)It’s only in the much higher degree and more rigid degree of the trait that we would call it disordered or problematic. This is NOT a judgment. We mean it’s problematic for the person who suffers from it and that it infiltrates most every relationship to a point that it significantly impairs daily functioning or social relationships. Not that a person with true Narcissistic personality disorder would notice this distress, because everyone around them are “stupid” or “the best.” You can imagine stupid one’s are differentiated from them and the best one’s reflect their version of themselves. Narcissistic Injury:Example: The blue side – (avoidance/dismissive attachment) is a defense, whether we live there or whether we travel there. When we feel very deeply vulnerable but can’t tolerate that experience, we pull into what we... Support this podcast
Are you sick of hearing about relationships but interested in attachment? (Or want to deepen your understanding of real world application of the relational sciences while you have a good laugh??!) All the single listeners (think Beyonce) heads up! We are going to break down attachment theory and apply the cool science for all of us…. Continuing in the series on adult attachment, co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP joins Becki Mendivil in a spunky conversation about how attachment affects someone who isn’t in a romantic relationship nor is seeking one, but simply as an individual and a human being. We’ll chat about personal experiences with attachment, how the relational sciences translate to work and parenting with a wide array of anecdotal examples, and dive into the essentials of not remaining in one spot on the attachment spectrum. Becki is self-described as “very blue” so this episode is especially great for those that linger on the avoidant end of the spectrum. Enjoy a great laugh and learn as it unfolds! If you like this you’ll want to be sure and listen to our attachment series, check out episodes https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu59/ (59), https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu60/ (60), and https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu61/ (61)! Introduction The problem of assuming someone’s in or seeking a romantic relationship when discussing adult attachment Becki’s giving Therapist Uncensored hosts the what-what on how she reads what we’ve said so far Generational transference of attachment 15:00-30:00: Listening to https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu59/ (“The Blue Episode”) & Parenting Becki’s experience in listening to the avoidant attachment episode of Therapist Uncensored Seeing the light! Becki’s exeriments to test if this model is actually useful or not. Daughter example. Empathetic silliness unfolds. Sue’s anecdote about her son and changes in attachment Becki affecting change in her physical isolation at work – confronting Sue on therapizing her 🙂 30:00-45:00: Using the Relational Sciences at Work Becki’s wild move towards interacting more directly with peers (!) Avoiding attachment labels/categories as strict definitions of a person Navigating up and down the spectrum of attachment in response to varying types of threats 45:00-60:00: Diving Deeper Attachment disruptions Idea of the “corkscrew” Wrap up and outro
Resources:https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1084&context=managementfacpub (Adult Attachment Styles in the Workplace) – Harms, 2011 article https://media.terry.uga.edu/socrates/publications/2018/04/Little_Nelson_-_2011_-_Journal_of_Organziational_Behavior_-_Integrating_attachment_style_vigor_at_work_and_extrarole_performance.pdf (Integrating attachment syle, vigor at work and extra-role performance at work) -Little, et al 2011 article https://ejop.psychopen.eu/article/view/814/html (Individual differences in Work-Related Well Being, the Role of Attachment) 2014
Who doesn’t love special offers?https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/brain-neuroscience-nervous-system-1.jpg ()Our course is now available for a deeply discounted pre-sale purchase price! While this course is aimed toward clinicians (CE’s available!), all are welcome to purchase the course. Price increases on October 16, 2019 when it is released.https://www.therapistuncensored.com/course/ (CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION) We’re on Patreon! Become a Super Neuronerd, a Gold Neuronerd or an Out and Proud PLATINUM NEURONERD today! 🙂 Join our exclusive community of http://www.patreon.com/therapistuncensored (Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds) for just $5 a month! Gain access to private, more in-depth episodes and exclusive... Support this podcast
Have you ever just sat back and observed a small child as they learn something new? There is this profound sense of awe and wonder with each new discovery they make. Kids are naturally curious. As adults, we tend to take what we know about the world for granted. But, through the eyes of a child, the world is an exciting mystery just waiting to be discovered! What if we told you that it is possible to experience that childlike curiosity in your day-to-day life, starting right now? What if we also told you that curiosity is one of the most powerful relationship tools we have? Curiosity is much more than a quest for knowledge and is not as simple as it seems. In this episode of Therapist Uncensored:Co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott, invite you to rediscover curiosity and experience the world and your relationships from a revitalized perspective! Just why is Ann so obsessed with curiosity?!Childlike Wonder:Think about how a child sees things for the first time. It’s strictly curiosity. As we get older, the world becomes more predictable. Being “In the Know” vs “In the Unknown”When we think we know a lot, we limit ourselves. It takes a lot of security to be uncertain. The neuroscience of curiosityA willingness to embrace uncertainty and curiosity go hand in hand. Attachment, curiosity, and anxietyHow does our attachment style affect our experience? If you feel bodily anxiety in the questions you’re asking, you’re probably not in the right state. How can we learn to become truly curious about someone in a loving way if we lean towards the blue or red side of the spectrum? If we’re on the blue side of the spectrum, how can we move out to a place where we’re curious. If we’re on the red side, how do we move from asking questions out of anxiety to asking out of curiosity? People who are curious about you are attractive, and we can tell the difference if they’re not really interested.You get to be curious about your therapist.Tips to cultivate curiosity:Train your brain Be aware of what’s happening in your body Recognizing judgment Are you judging people when they speak instead of listening to them? This is a kind of cognitive closure. Slow down and stimulate your own curiosity with questions. Look for novelty and discovery in your interactions. Early relationships often break up out of boredom. You can be curious about your anxiety related to asking questions and even share your anxiety with the person making you nervous. Sharing vulnerability brings people together. Cultivate wonder and awe. To review or learn about the different attachment styles, listen to:https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu59/ (TU59: Dismissing/Avoidant Attachment – Are You Cool, or just Cut Off?) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu60/ (TU60: Preoccupation in Relationships – Grow Your Security by Learning the Signs of Anxious Attachment) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu61/ (TU61: It’s Not Crazy, It’s a Solution to an Unsolvable Problem – Disorganized Attachment) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/79/ (TU79: Attachment Spectrum and the Nervous System, Quick Review with Updates) Who doesn’t love special offers?https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/brain-neuroscience-nervous-system-1.jpg ()Our course is now available for a deeply discounted pre-sale purchase price! While this course is aimed toward clinicians (CE approval for clinicians pending), all are welcome to purchase the course. Price increases on September 18th.https://www.therapistuncensored.com/course/ (CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION) We’re on Patreon! Become a Super Neuronerd, a Gold Neuronerd or an Out and Proud PLATINUM NEURONERD today! 🙂 Join our exclusive community of http://www.patreon.com/therapistuncensored (Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds) for just $5 a month! Gain access to private, more in-depth episodes and exclusive content. Help... Support this podcast
Explore the myth of self-regulation, the natural neurobiology of co-regulation and it’s capacity to engage safety and heal trauma. Learn about using interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB) and Polyvagal Theory to establish safety and security in therapy and in relationships. Therapist Uncensored co-host Sue Marriott LCSW CGP talks with author and therapist Bonnie Badenoch about the concept of using safety to reshape your neural landscape through authentic relationships. Badenoch guides us through her progression of building a bridge between science and practice to cultivate the best therapeutic mind. You’ll learn how exercising “happy humility” and compassion can allow for an ideal presence in our day-to-day life using our autonomic nervous system. Also, special hats off to Steve Porges and polyvagal theory. 0:00-30:00 What creates safety? How do our internal systems want us to be received? Sympathetic activation happens when there’s a need to control something in light of an obstacle. Internal systems challenge to remain in an open and receptive state. Polyvagal theory and Steve Porges. How can we explore the relationship between safety and curiosity and best use the language of “safety,” versus “comfort” and “discomfort”, especially towards the beginning of therapy and in new relationships? Badenoch contends that there’s no such thing as a maladaptive experience; that humans are always adaptive and require co-regulation. What’s the difference between co-regulation and auto-regulation? Is there a “myth” of self-regulation? Discussion of ideal parent figure protocol. Badenoch explores the connection between co-regulation, neural circuitry and forging relationships in your life. 30:00-60:00 Social Baseline Theory is what happens to our perceptions when someone we trust is with us. The difficulty and pain of tasks is always reduced when we’re with a trusted beloved and this relaxes our amygdala response. Badenoch walks us through her experience of feeling safe during and between client sessions. It’s key to have mutual, caring, receptive relationships with people who are willing to listen rather than jump in and try to offer advice. Young therapists. Everyone’s doing the best they can with what they have in their neural make up but how can we embody a therapeutic presence in the world through compassion or a “happy humility”? Resources: https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/A-Symphony-of-Gifts-From-Relational-Neuroscience-1-1.pdf (A Symphony of Gifts From Relational Neuroscience (1)) Excellent PDF from Bonnie Badenoch https://amzn.to/2SPvObv (Being a Brain-Wise Therapist: A Practical Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology [2008] Badenoch ) https://amzn.to/2Dr7iZW (The Brain-Savvy Therapist’s Workbook [2011] Badenoch ) https://amzn.to/2SStd0k (The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships [2017] Badenoch) https://amzn.to/2PEzI8v (The Heart of Trauma Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships by Steve Porges)!
For our listeners!https://www.therapistuncensored.com/course/ (Our long-awaited Advanced Course is launching soon! Purchase today for the lowest price possible. Pre-sale pricing ends September 18. )https://www.therapistuncensored.com/course/ (CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE)
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We knew we had to interview Dr. Elliott upon finding his book, http://amzn.to/2sUdioc (Attachment Disturbances in Adults, Treatment for Comprehensive Repair(2016)). It immediately became Sue’s current favorite read and that is saying a lot! We cover quite a lot in this podcast, especially about treatment, but if that still isn’t enough, these show notes are PACKED with PDF’s of great material offered by Dr. Elliott! Below you will find 4 full PDF handouts about the salient ideas of their synthesis of treatment for adults with attachment disruptions. In today’s episode you will hear about why attachment matters, background thoughts on insecurity and prevalence, brand new (to the US) and updated attachment research and then we mostly focus on how to apply all this knowledge with clients with attachment issues, and ourselves. Dr. Elliott introduces our audience to the 3 Pillars of Comprehensive Treatment: Ideal Parent Protocol, Metacognition and Fostering Collaborative Capacity. While he touches on them all, please download the 4 PDF attachments provided below, and start by reviewing the Overview. If for any reason you have trouble getting them, contact us and we will shoot them over to you! Dr David Elliott’s Bio:Dr. Elliott received his Ph.D. in Psychology in 1989 from Harvard University. His clinical training while at Harvard included externships at the Tufts University Counseling Center, the Outpatient Psychiatry Clinic of St. Elizabeth’s Medical Center in Brighton, Massachusetts, and a clinical psychology internship at McLean Hospital, the psychiatric teaching hospital of Harvard Medical School. He also completed a post-doctoral fellowship at McLean Hospital, where he worked on the Adolescent and Family Treatment Unit and at the hospital’s mental health outpatient clinic. He was licensed as a Psychologist in Massachusetts in 1990, and in Rhode Island in 1993. Recognizing from an early age that there are many dimensions to human experience, any and all of which can contribute to well-being or to difficulty, Dr. Elliott has maintained a commitment to learning and understanding the whole range of human possibility — from the deepest confusions and struggles of psychosis, to the patterns of personality that create personal and relational conflicts, to the development of the self in ways that promote both independence and intimacy, and to higher levels of growth that allow for flourishing and even a recognition of oneself as beyond the limits of the personal self. Four PDFshttps://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/BrownElliott.Overview-1-1.pdf (Overview of the Three Pillars Model of Attachment Treatment (Brown & Elliott, 2016)) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/BrownElliott.5Conditions-1.pdf (The Five Primary Conditions that Promote Secure Attachment (Brown & Elliott, 2016)) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/BrownElliott.MetacogLevels-1.pdf (Levels of Metacognitive Skills (Brown & Elliott, 2016)) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/BrownElliott.CollaborativeDevt.b-1.pdf (Fostering Collaborative Capacity and Behavior (Brown & Elliott, 2016)) Additional resources for this episode:https://pointingoutway.org (Daniel Brown, co-author of Attachment Disturbances in Adults )This is his current website, which focuses on his meditation and spiritual development activities. http://amzn.to/2sUdioc (Attachment Disturbances in Adults Treatment for Comprehensive Repair (2016) Daniel Brown andDavid Elliott ) http://amzn.to/2trqjTx (Clinical Application of the Adult Attachment Interview Edited by Howard Steele and Mariam Steele) Our favorite clinical reference for those that want to learn much more deeply about using the AAI to treat attachment and learn about its usefulness with various... Support this podcast
100 Episodes and Going Strong!Tune in for a review of our listener’s favorite episodes and back stories about the evolution of Therapist Uncensored with co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott. This is a show hosted by 2 therapists who share the most usable science on attachment relationships, psychotherapy, and trauma. It combines both host lead conversations and interviews with top experts in their respective fields – neuroscientists, therapists, researchers, musicians, pop-culture celebrities, and so on – that share their wisdom about relationships. Today we celebrate starting with colleague Patty Olwell, and evolving everything from our messaging, our website, our audio and editing, and our co-host relationship. This is the last show of Season 3, BUT we will be back with new shows by early September. In the meantime, we will be re-playing some of these favorites. We look forward to our next season of deepening our conversations on attachment, neuroscience, polyvagal theory, depth psychotherapy, sexuality, and more! Most Popular Episodes By Everyone, Including Us!Known as “the bundle” of attachment, these episodes summarize the attachment spectrum and have building security at their core. They are, by far, the most referenced, reviewed, and appreciated! https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu59/ (Episode 59: Dismissing/Avoidant attachment. Are you cool or just cut off?)https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu60/ (Episode 60: Preoccupation in Relationships-Grow your security by learning signs of Anxious Attachment)https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu61/ (Episode 61: It’s not crazy, it’s just a solution to an unsolvable problem – Disorganized Attachment)Other Popular Episodes Include:*Note: listed in order of discussion plus a brief summary of the show conversation https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu54/ (Episode 54- The Stress Response System –Attachment Across the Lifespan)specifically looking at the elder years and how our attachment system affects us as caretakers of our parents or as the senior who may be undergoing the various losses inherent in aging. https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu93_polyvagal_theory_stephen_porges-2/ (Stephen Porges – Episode 93: Polyvagal Theory in Action: The Practice of Body Regulation)The father of Polyvagal Theory! fat led to groundbreaking shifts in our understanding of how the nervous system responds to threat and trauma. https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu16-inside-the-mind-of-dan-siegel/ (Dan Siegel – Episode 16: Inside The Mind of Dr. Dan Siegel)Father of interpersonal neurobiology Discussed how the current political, international and climate crises could be viewed as a chance to transform human connection. He called for us all to become pervasive leaders. https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu-56/ (Alan Sroufe – Episode 56: How We Come To Define Ourselves, Attachment Research Across The Decades)If you’ve ever wanted to know how much you can predict a person’s development years in advance, then you’ll enjoy our conversation with Dr. Alan Sroufe. his research findings over the years and how insecure and secure attachment tendencies can develop and affect an individual through their lives. https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu83/ (Bonnie Badenock – Episode 83: Establishing Neurological Safety Through Relationships )discussed how exercising “happy humility” and compassion can allow for an ideal presence in our day-to-day life using our autonomic nervous system. Sympathetic activation happens when there’s a need to control something in light of an obstacle. Internal systems challenge to remain in an open and receptive state. Patricia Crittenden – Episode 96, 97, & 98 One of the originators of attachment theory studied under Mary Ainsworth https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu96-attachment-patricia-crittenden-2/ (Ep 96: Attachment and Self-protective... Support this podcast
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/RachelLewis-MarlowPaulaScatoloni-e1561646721938.png () What if we flipped the script and learned to see our body as a messenger that needs to be heard rather than an obstacle to be conquered when it comes to our relationship with food? When we take physiological perspective, we learn that the body has much to say not only about food but also emotional regulation and our basic human needs for attachment and defense. Using the sensory information, attachment system and working with defenses. Who are our guests on this episode, you ask? Well here ya go, they are pretty bad-ass and they were interviewed by Dr. Ann Kelley: Paula Scatoloni, LCSW, CEDS, SEP Paula is a somatic-based psychotherapist, Certified Eating Disorders Specialist, and Somatic Experiencing™ practitioner in Chapel Hill, NC. She has worked in the field of eating disorders for over two decades. Paula served as the Eating Disorder Coordinator at Duke University CAPS for nine years and has taught extensively on the etiology and treatment of eating disorders through workshops, professional trainings, and conferences. She co-developed the first intensive outpatient program for eating disorders in the U.S with Dr. Anita Johnston. She is the co-founder of the Embodied Recovery model and the Embodied Recovery Institute in Durham, NC. Rachel Lewis-Marlow, MS, EdS, LPC, LMBT Rachel is a somatically integrative psychotherapist, dually licensed in counseling and therapeutic massage and bodywork. She is a Certified Advanced Practitioner in Sensorimotor Psychotherapy and has advanced training and 25+ years of experience in diverse somatic therapies including Craniosacral Therapy, Energetic Osteopathy, Oncology massage and Aromatherapy. Rachel She is the co-founder of the Embodied Recovery model and the Embodied Recovery Institute in Durham, NC. provides ongoing training and supervision to clinical and support staff in the programmatic implementation of the Embodied Recovery model. In her private practice in Chapel Hill, NC, Rachel works with trauma, eating disorders, and dissociative disorders.
TU99 Shownotes (are these not awesome or what? Patrons help us be able to do this, thank you you know who you are.)Typical Treatment ModelBio-Psychosocial modelBio: has been usage of pharmacology, re-feeding, nutritional rehabilitation, and yoga Psycho part has been education about emotion and emotional tolerance, dialectical behavioral therapy, supportive therapies to support emotional processing and cognitive distortions, cognitive behavioral treatment to address the distortions, and then try to change the behaviors by changing the cognitions, Social part: family and dynamics around having a place of belonging and one’s sense of belonging in the world, the culture, & the family Usually a treatment team: dietician, a therapist, family therapist, a psychiatrist, a physician Typical View of RecoveryGoal: to get somebody to eat a prescribed amount of nutritional food in order to achieve a range of BMI or body size or shape eat it in what we call a normative style, which is a very relative term Focus is on how behaviors are a response to an attitude towards the body itself What’s Missing?Being curious about what the body is saying and expressing through the eating disorder behaviors Shifting the Perspective: The Embodied Recovery ModelThe Embodied Recovery Model is Somato–Psycho-Social. It expands the role of the body to include anatomy, physiology, kinesiology, movement, and posture. The 5 Core Principles of the Embodied Recovery ModelThe 5 Core Principles facilitate the intersection between somatic organization, subjective experience of self, and basic human needs for attachment and defense. Shifting from bio-psycho-social model to somato-psycho-social model.Directly resourcing the body so that it becomes a resource in recovery rather than an obstacle to recovery.Collaborate Support this podcast
Dive deeper into this new (to us) model of interpreting attachment science and discover how to apply it into your daily life. Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP and Ann Kelley PhD have fun breaking down the last two episodes where Dr. Patricia Crittenden so generously shared her model called the Dynamic Maturational Model (DMM). Focus is on personal and clinical importance in this last of a 3-part series on the DMM. Before we begin:A’s (Red in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Blue on TU B’s (Blue in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Green on TU C’s (Green in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Red on TU AC’s = Historically referred to Tie Dye on TU **Note: We know the colors may be a bit confusing, but it is important to us that you receive information as Dr Crittenden has published it. It is by happenstance that our colors are the same (with the exception of tie dye), but they represent different thinking and behavioral patterns. When we refer to color in the episodes and in the show notes, we are referring to the colors we have historically used on the TU podcast and the letters and self-protective strategies of the DMM. This is only in order to maintain consistency and make the information more easily understood by our listeners. However, the colors as shown in the slides and as listed above, are the way Dr Crittenden uses them in her fantastic work!
Brief Hierarchy of Attachment Theory:There’s a lot of similarity between the more familiar Mary Main et al ABC-D model of attachment and the Patricia Crittenden’s DMM interpretation of attachment, but there are also some very important differences. What’s in A Name?Dynamic Maturational Model (DMM) – potentially intimidating mouthful, BUT let’s break it down What it means:Sue and Ann share their take on Dr Crittenden’s walk through the developmental process that happens in attachment from infancy to adulthood. (Listen to https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu96-attachment-patricia-crittenden-2/ (Episode 96) and https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu97-dmm-patricia-crittenden/ (Episode 97)). As we mature into different stages of our life, our needs and self-protective strategies (what the DMM helps us learn) we use change accordingly. The beautiful thing about the DMM is the way it incorporates culture, sexuality, key relationships, and danger/safety into the attachment mix. Speaking of safety….One key difference between the DMM and traditional attachment models is the emphasis on SAFETY rather than SECURITY. According to the DMM: -attachment is about the dyadic relationship in danger, it does not just live in the person -we take in information from the environment (parent in infancy) and shift this into “behaviors” or self-protective strategies. -these strategies develop to protect us. They are our brain’s way of helping us reduce danger and increase connectedness by creating closeness, proximity, and safety. Information Processing-It’s physiological. There are 3 systems: Somatic: what does our body feel…our heart, our stomach feel Cognitive: how we process the information, how do we make meaning Emotional: what’s coming up Bottom line, we can learn from our body. They are connected but not hierarchical. Security = Integration of all 3 of these info systems (Therapist Uncensored’s model ie. getting to the green) The Attachment SpectrumAs you move out on the spectrum, (in the DMM, it’s a circle, which is also really cool) we begin to inhibit or exaggerate information based on the response in our environment/the response of our caregivers. We will tend to lean Blue or Red or Tie Dye (check out episodes https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu59/ (59),https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu60/ ( 60),https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu61/ ( 61) for more detailed info on each color). NOTE: These colors are Ann and Sue’s Attachment & Regulation Spectrum, not colors from the DMM. It is NOT... Support this podcast
“So which strategy in this model is best? Every behavioral strategy is the right strategy for some problem, but no strategy is the best strategy for every problem. We need them all.” – Dr Patricia Crittenden, creator of the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment & Adaptation (DMM) using culture and context. https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Rudiments-of-the-DMM-1.pptx (Click )https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Rudiments-of-the-DMM-1.pptx (HERE )https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Rudiments-of-the-DMM-1.pptx (to download the slides discussed in detail in this episode!)Note: This episode is Part 2 of 2. It stands alone, but to start at Part 1 click https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu96-attachment-patricia-crittenden/ (HERE).
Therapist Uncensored Episode 97 Show Notes:Before we begin:A’s (Red in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Blue on TU B’s (Blue in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Green on TU C’s (Green in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Red on TU AC’s = Historically referred to Tie Dye on TU **Note: We know the colors may be a bit confusing, but it is important to us that you receive information as Dr Crittenden has published it. It is by happenstance that our colors are the same (with the exception of tie dye), but they represent different thinking and behavioral patterns. When we refer to color in the episodes and in the show notes, we are referring to the colors we have historically used on the TU podcast and the letters and self-protective strategies of the DMM. This is only in order to maintain consistency and make the information more easily understood by our listeners. However, the colors as shown in the slides and as listed above, are the way Dr Crittenden uses them in her fantastic work! Let’s Dive In:To understand self-protective strategies, we have to understand the information the brain is using, even in infancy – it’s neurological. A’s, the B’s and the C’s emphasize different sorts of information. Strategies by Age Group and Model Representation:
InfancyDMM Ainsworth ABC+D A-2: Avoidant A1-2 A1-2 B1-2: Reserved B1-4 B1-4 B3: Comfortable C1 C1-2 B4-5: Reactive D-Controlling C1-2: Resistant/Passive
PreschoolPreschoolers utilize false positive affect. A’s split their own self from the other, and they focus on the parent. They take the perspective of the powerful person. C’s split their negative affect, showing either the vulnerable or the invulnerable affect. They hide the other from view.... Support this podcast
http://www.patriciacrittenden.com ()
“If it protects you, it’s the right strategy.” – Dr Patricia Crittenden, creator of the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment & Adaptation (DMM) using culture and context.
Are you ready to move from describing injured developmental pathways and symptoms – to addressing how to heal from disrupted development? We are on the case! In this episode co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP discusses exactly that with Dr. Patrica Crittenden, founder of the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment & Adaption (DMM) using culture and context to understand, decode and heal early relational injuries. Their conversation was deep and wide, thus will be published in two sections. In today’s episode, TU96, Dr. Crittenden focuses on wide-reaching cultural aspects of development, safety and danger. She uses decades of observations, assessment, research and clinical work to describe her take on what she refers to as the American Attachment researchers and elucidates how her model is similar and where and why it differs. Dr. Crittenden’s focus on applying this rich research clinically aligns perfectly with the mission of this podcast. Whether you are a clinician, foster parent, educator or are interested for your own personal reasons, you will find her perspective fresh and thought-provoking! Please see the PACKED resources and show notes below! Who is Patricia Crittenden and why do want to know her….Dr. Mary Ainsworth Dr. Crittenden studied under Mary. D. Ainsworth from 1978 until 1983, when she received her Ph.D. as a psychologist in the Social Ecology and Development Program at the University of Virginia. In addition to Mary Ainsworth’s constant guidance and support, her psychology master’s thesis on the CARE-Index, was developed in consultation with John Bowlby and her family systems research, on patterns of family functioning in maltreating families, was accomplished with guidance from E. Mavis Hetherington. John Bowbly Dr. Crittenden has served on the Faculties of Psychology at the Universities of Virginia and Miami and held visiting professorships at the Universities of Helsinki (Finland) and Bologna (Italy) as well as San Diego State University (USA) and Edith Cowan University (Australia). In 1992 she received a Senior Post-doctoral Fellowship, with a focus on child sexual abuse and the development of individual differences in human sexuality, at the Family Research Laboratory, University of New Hampshire. In 1993-4 she was awarded the Beverley Professorship at the Clark Institute of Psychiatry (Canada). In the last two decades, Dr. Patricia Crittenden has worked cross-culturally as a developmental psychopathologist developing the Dynamic-Maturational Model (DMM) of attachment and adaptation, along with a developmentally attuned, life-span set of procedures for assessing self-protective strategies. She has received a career achievement award for “Outstanding Contributions to the Field of Child and Family Development” from the European Family Therapy Association in Berlin. Currently, Dr. Crittenden’s work is focused on preventive and culture- sensitive applications of the DMM to mental health treatment, child protection, and criminal rehabilitation. Before we begin:A’s (Red in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Blue on TU B’s (Blue in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Green on TU C’s (Green in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Red on TU AC’s = Historically referred to Tie Dye on TU **Note: We know the colors may be a bit confusing, but it is important to us that you receive information as Dr Crittenden has published it. It is by happenstance that our colors are the same (with the exception of tie dye), but they represent different thinking and behavioral patterns. When we refer to color in the episodes and in the show notes, we are referring to the colors we have historically used on the TU podcast and... Support this podcast
Sweet, sweet Jackson – of Johnny Cash fame. My heartbreak. Look at those eyes and tell me you don’t get a neuropeptide hit?! 🙂 Want a totally free, no-hangover naturally produced cuddle-drug? Oxytocin and dogs!Our pet relationships provide a trust and bonding boost, and is the natural love drug our bodies make at key relational moments such as child-birth, nursing, orgasm and falling in love. In this episode we discuss how to create this moral molecule without even needing complicated human relationships by connecting mutually to our companion pets. What’s not to love about that? The science now is clear – this inter-species relationship is mutually beneficial and potentially life-changing for both of you. Lower cortisol, higher oxytocin, more trust and connection – ba bing! Most of us can relate to having a beloved pet that has been a significant part of our lives. We love them, and the cool thing is, they love us back unconditionally it seems, without regard to our moral failings. In fact, there is now crazy hard science research to back up the power of this connection, particularly regarding dogs. In our last episode, we told you that we’d be talking more about the love drug, oxytocin, and how we can actively induce the release of this hormone in our bodies in order to promote our favorite subject, building security. In this one we get real and walk the walk of vulnerability. So, what do pets, specifically dogs, have to do with oxytocin and building security?Well, security happens through safe connection, and connection both induces the release of oxytocin and is created by it’s presence. This cascade creates a feeling of physiological safety and openness and warmth in our bodies, which helps us to bond and build security. Believe it or not, we can consciously manipulate our body’s release of oxytocin through the bond we create with our beloved pets. And if you’ve been following the podcast, you know this ties into the previous 2 episodes on Polyvagal Theory and our autonomic nervous system. In this episode, join Ann and Sue as they talk about what this experience looks like in real life and how to cultivate the love-drug cross-species. Also hear Sue’s incredibly powerful story of tragic loss, and renewed hope, all related to pets. Of course we are simplifying a bit – nothing is all good. Oxytocin isn’t always a love-drug, it can cause aggression or feelings of loneliness. For example if the wolves had made eye-contact as the companion dogs did (the wolves made much less eye contact and had no increase in the hormone), it would probably have spiked aggression rather than bonding (an urge to protect their bonded pack rather than attach to the alien human), but we are focusing here on the most major findings of the neuropeptide. Cooper comforting Sue… I know so MANY of you have pets as primaries, it’s a real relationship (scientifically and intuitively) that truly comforts and heals. Episode 95 show notes:Oxytocin – Ann and Sue’s favorite neuropeptide, AKA the cuddle drug, the love drug, the moral molecule. Research shows that the bond we have with our pets is reciprocal. The pleasure center of the brain lights up in us and in our animal partners. Cortisol levels decrease, and oxytocin levels increase in humans and animals when we have high eye contact. The most significant increase (up to almost 300%) is seen with dogs and varies based on breed. It’s an extra boost if we catch our dogs looking at us first. Don’t be embarrassed about your significant other with 4 legs, or less. Hear about bonding with fish, monkey’s picking and humans grooming behavior, and what lice has to do with it all. Dogs and any other beloved pet can be serious attachment figure in our lives, helping us to build a sense of safety and security in the world. It can be a very powerful relationship that is just as strong, and sometimes stronger, than human... Support this podcast
The science of relaxing into love, this episode continues the exploration of Polyvagal Theory, one of the most important theories of our generation, especially when it comes to trauma and psychological treatment. Join Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley as they continue to break down and bring Polyvagal Theory to life. Through discussion and real-life examples of what happens when our bodies experience threat, you will learn how to recognize when you or your loved one is experiencing an unconscious physiological threat response as well as some practical self-regulation skills to move back into safety. Additionally, we will begin unfolding how powerful relationships are in helping us establish, maintain and return to a physiological state of safety. It’s true, love really is a drug! https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu93_polyvagal_theory_stephen_porges-2/ (Check out TU93b, our interview with Dr Stephen Porges, the father of Polyvagal Theory by clicking here! ) Why are we so jazzed about Polyvagal Theory (PVT)?PVT looks at the body related to attachment, related to getting close to one another, and to co-regulation and ties it all together! What’s PVT all about?PVT is an evolutionarily based theory that explains how our bodies sense danger and threat and also how we respond. It helps us to understand what is going on physiologically during these times, so we can learn to recognize our bodies’ signals and utilize skills to regulate our nervous system. Polyvagal Theory BreakdownThe bottom line is are we safe or are we in danger? Neuroception:Our brains are always scanning for info from the environment that regulates whether we feel safe or not safe. It is spontaneous and completely outside of our awareness. Old View:Only Fight or Flight Response Systems, but that’s outdated. Polyvagal View:We not only have a Fight or Flight Response, we also have a Freeze Response. The Systems and the Vagus NerveAutonomic Nervous System –Autonomic=Automatic – all the things our bodies do for us without thinking Examples: blinking, digestion, etc… Breathing is the only autonomic process we can manipulate consciously ParasympatheticPara=Paralyzed This is the brake. SympatheticEnergizing Where “Fight and Flight” are Prehistoric example (Old View): being attacked by a saber tooth tiger, response will be to run from it or fight it, literally. Everyday example: A mad spouse, angry boss, disapproving parent Fight=defensiveness, blame, etc. Flight=withdrawing, physically leaving a party, stonewalling The Vagus NerveLargest nerve in the body All mammals and vertebrates have it, some versions of it in fish Runs throughout our entire body Information Freeway – carries information from scans of the environment to the brain https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/funny-Danger-sign-joke-e1555532336279.jpg ()Our Brains: Safety vs DangerSafety:This is the Social Engagement System (The Green Zone) When we are safe, the lights are on all the way to the top of our minds. We are our very best selves. Hearts are open Whole neuro psychological, the biological system is signaling safety: the heart rate slows, breath is steady, able to digest food, make eye contact, have movement in our face so other people can read us, inner ear relaxes, ears relaxes enabling us to pick up human voice very, very well. Danger:When in danger, our brains work in reverse order. breathing quickens and is shallow, heart rate increases, non-vital body functions are shut down, Inner ear constricts because it listening for high tones and low tones – listening for predators, oxygen level decreases, stress hormones (cortisol, norepinephrine, and adrenaline) are dumped into system. Neural WiFi:Our unconscious neurological states of feeling safe or feeling threatened translate to the people we interact with, even through the phone. Example: Sue & Ann’s phone conversation Bottom Up:Vagus nerve: picks info up from our body Support this podcast
Polyvagal Theory is about the biology of opening our hearts. Cool, huh? What is all this fuss about the vagal nerve and the flurry of interventions developed around it? Find out the facts directly from the father of Polyvagal Theory, award-winning neuroscientist Dr. Stephen Porges. In this episode, he speaks with co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP to discuss this ground-breaking discovery about the biology of threat and safety which explains so much about human behavior and psychological disturbances. Rest assured,this isn’t just about our brains, it’s about the biology of opening our hearts. This episode will be followed by another updated primer on Polyvagal Theory, so stay tuned. Who is Dr. Porges?Stephen W. Porges PhD is the father of the Polyvagal Theory, which has led to groundbreaking shifts in our understanding of how the nervous system responds to threat and trauma. Through his extensive career, he has published over 300 peer-reviewed articles crossing numerous disciplines from anesthesiology to space medicine. The Polyvagal Theory is leading to innovative treatments based on insights into the symptoms observed in several behavioral, psychiatric, and physical disorders.
Dr. Porges is a “Distinguished University Scientist” at the Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. He is the founding director of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium. He holds the position of Professor of Psychiatry at the University of North Carolina as well as Professor Emeritus at the University of Illinois at Chicago and the University of Maryland. He previously served as president of the Society for Psychophysiological Research and the Federation of Associations in Behavioral & Brain Sciences. He is also a former recipient of a National Institute of Mental Health Research Scientist Development Award. Episode 93 Show Notes:Introducing Dr. Porges and The Polyvagal Theory (PVT)We love it because what we’re interested here in this community is how can learn and use neuroscience and the relational sciences in order to heal. It’s not just for our brains; it’s for our hearts. And it’s for creating secure connections in the world. The Truth: Beyond Vagal Nerve Pop CultureAwareness of the Vagus is great, but Dr Porges gets concerned when people get enamored with the Vagus The nerve is really just a conduit. It’s a highway of bringing information from the body to the brain and from the brain to the body. You have to change the information, not fix the nerve. It’s supposed to be an understanding of how our body changes state and the connection of our brain to our body and our body to our brain. It was the foundation of brain-body science and medicine. Polyvagal Theory Origins1994 – presented as the subject of Dr Porges’ presidential address to the Society for Psychophysiological Research A rediscovery of what had already been observed presented from a new perspective 1995 – Polyvagal Theory is published The Backstory:The original research began as an attempt to develop a methodology for dynamic measurement of normal heart regulation of fetuses through the process of childbirth. Initially, Dr. Porges thought he discovered a way of measuring the Vagal influence: when the body is regulating, it’s in a good physiological state, resilient, and can survive delivery. The ParadoxThe situation: baby suffers from hypoxia, resulting in clinical apnea (stop breathing) or clinical bradycardia (heart rate drops) Dr Porges’ view: bradycardia indicates protective Vagal response Neonatologist and pediatrician view: bradycardia indicates a lethal Vagal response Both are right, but how?They are two different branches of the same system. How branches emerge, and their effects are built into the nervous system. The protective Vagal circuit (branch 1) is a newer Mammalian Vagal circuit, which preterm babies often aren’t born with. During severe stress, the reptilian (the evolutionary older... Support this podcast
Learn 3 distinct features that make one vulnerable to addiction and understand the varied dynamics through the lens of attachment and emotional regulation. In today’s episode, Dr. Ann Kelley interviews two experts in the field of substance abuse treatment, Brad Kennedy and Dr. Vanessa Kennedy from Driftwood Recovery Center. They discuss their attachment-based perspective on what addiction is, how it develops, how understanding our attachment styles critically impacts the treatment and recovery process. Learn what they have to say about stigma, shame, self-destruction, and check out the incredible resources included in today’s topic. Addiction affects almost every one of us. There are many opinions and controversies in the field of what causes it, what helps and how to address it. When viewed through the lens of attachment, we are able to understand why we have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms and how they no longer serve us. This understanding is essential to treat the issues underlying our destructive behaviors as well as how we connect with others. By getting curious about our behaviors and understanding why we do what we do, we can begin shifting our narrative from one of shame to one of compassion. This compassionate narrative combined with an attachment-based, integrative treatment approach, and most importantly, connection with others, are essential to co-creating a path to recovery and ultimately, the version of ourselves we wish to become. Brad Kennedy, MRC, CRCVice President, Executive Director of Driftwood Recovery Center Brad has been a national leader in developing innovative programs to help individuals recover from addiction and mental health issues for the past twenty years. He comes to us from the Menninger Clinic and is the Founding Board Member of the Association for Community Integration Programs (A4CIP). The A4CIP is an organization that assembles experts to share perspectives on how to help individuals with mental illness and addiction live healthy lives and integrate back into society. Brad’s is now the Executive Director at the https://driftwoodrecovery.com/ (Driftwood Recovery Center), where he and the team focus on evidence-based techniques and integrative treatment. He has a special passion for community integration and aiding individuals in identifying their values and leading a meaningful life after treatment and through their recovery. Vanessa S. Kennedy, PhDDirector of Psychology at Driftwood Recovery CenterDr. Vanessa Kennedy has over a decade of experience working with the Menninger Clinic, one of the nation’s top psychiatric hospitals. As a Program Manager and Senior Psychologist, she treats people suffering from addiction and a variety of serious mental health issues. Dr. Kennedy specializes in psychological testing and diagnostic formulations. She has a passion for helping individuals and their families make sense of the psychological underpinnings of addiction and other behaviors. As the Driftwood Director of Psychology, she provides psychological assessments to clarify diagnosis, screen for cognitive issues, and provide a clearer road map for treatment that substances and medications may have obscured. In this episode of Therapist Uncensored, What is the definition of addiction? The “real world” definition of addiction is various behaviors that interfere in your life that might keep you from really living your values. Addiction is relevant to everyone. What addiction includes Plus, what behaviors do you regularly and habitually engage in (coffee drinking, checking your phone, etc.)? Are they disrupting your life? How do you know when a habit has become a problem, and what do you do about it? It starts with awareness of our habits and their impact. Am I using it to manipulate my mood? Take a curious, non-judgmental stance and continue to ask ourselves why we like and do the... Support this podcast
Have you ever just sat back and observed a small child as they learn something new? There is this profound sense of awe and wonder with each new discovery they make. Kids are naturally curious. As adults, we tend to take what we know about the world for granted. But, through the eyes of a child, the world is an exciting mystery just waiting to be discovered! What if we told you that it is possible to experience that childlike curiosity in your day-to-day life, starting right now? What if we also told you that curiosity is one of the most powerful relationship tools we have? Curiosity is much more than a quest for knowledge and is not as simple as it seems. In this episode of Therapist Uncensored:co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott, invite you to rediscover curiosity and experience the world and your relationships from a revitalized perspective! Just why is Ann so obsessed with curiosity?!Childlike Wonder:Think about how a child sees things for the first time. It’s strictly curiosity. As we get older, the world becomes more predictable. Being “In the Know” vs “In the Unknown”When we think we know a lot, we limit ourselves. It takes a lot of security to be uncertain. The neuroscience of curiosityA willingness to embrace uncertainty and curiosity go hand in hand. Attachment, curiosity, and anxietyHow does our attachment style affect our experience? If you feel bodily anxiety in the questions you’re asking, you’re probably not in the right state. How can we learn to become truly curious about someone in a loving way if we lean towards the blue or red side of the spectrum? If we’re on the blue side of the spectrum, how can we move out to a place where we’re curious. If we’re on the red side, how do we move from asking questions out of anxiety to asking out of curiosity? People who are curious about you are attractive, and we can tell the difference if they’re not really interested.You get to be curious about your therapist.Tips to cultivate curiosity:Train your brain Be aware of what’s happening in your body Recognizing judgment Are you judging people when they speak instead of listening to them? This is a kind of cognitive closure. Slow down and stimulate your own curiosity with questions. Look for novelty and discovery in your interactions. Early relationships often break up out of boredom. You can be curious about your anxiety related to asking questions and even share your anxiety with the person making you nervous. Sharing vulnerability brings people together. Cultivate wonder and awe. To review or learn about the different attachment styles, listen to:https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu59/ (TU59: Dismissing/Avoidant Attachment – Are You Cool, or just Cut Off?) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu60/ (TU60: Preoccupation in Relationships – Grow Your Security by Learning the Signs of Anxious Attachment) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu61/ (TU61: It’s Not Crazy, It’s a Solution to an Unsolvable Problem – Disorganized Attachment) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/79/ (TU79: Attachment Spectrum and the Nervous System, Quick Review with Updates) Who doesn’t love special offers?We’re on Patreon! Become a Super Neuronerd, a Gold Neuronerd or an Out and Proud PLATINUM NEURONERD today! 🙂 Join our exclusive community of http://www.patreon.com/therapistuncensored (Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds) for just $5 a month! Gain access to private, more in-depth episodes and exclusive content. Help us create a ripple of security by sharing the science of relationships around the globe! https://www.patreon.com/join/2305101? (NEURONERDS UNITE! )https://www.patreon.com/join/2305101? (Click here to sign up.)
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https://amzn.to/2WTnI3J () Troubled attachment is a natural outcome of challenging life experiences or trauma. But, there’s another outcome that we want to talk about: intimacy avoidance. It’s hard enough to open up in relationships. However, when your life experience has challenged you, avoidance is sure to follow. You may have found safety in hiding (a.k.a. cloaking). Yet, that cloak can clog up our current adult relationships. Dang it! Sorry to tell you what we imagine you already know – 🙂 Gotta lose the cloak, friend. Sue Marriott & guest, Robert T. Muller, talk from a place of totally getting it. “Talking the talk” is so much easier than “walking the walk”! We all gotta work on losing the cloak. even as therapists. 😉 Today’s guest expert: Robert T Muller PhD is author of the newly released, https://amzn.to/2WTnI3J (Trauma and the Struggle to Open Up), as well as the psychotherapy bestseller, https://amzn.to/2thJXm4 (Trauma and the Avoidant Client, Attachment-Based Strategies for Healing). He has published numerous articles on trauma, attachment, and psychotherapy. He enjoys being a professor of Clinical Psychology at York University and a Fellow of the International Society for the Study of Trauma & Dissociation. Dr. Muller is an international speaker with over 30 years of experience. In addition, he has a clinical practice in downtown Toronto. In TU 90, we discuss avoidance:What is “self-deception”? When the truth in trauma is unspeakable, we edit the truth as a coping mechanism. How does avoidance form? Humor as a coping strategy has a deeper meaning. What is “Post-traumatic” growth? What fundamental questions do we have to reckon with? Let’s talk about forgiveness with trauma. What is “rushed forgiveness”? Why is there a felt pressure to forgive? Dr. Muller shares his own personal experiences with listeners. He opens up about his father’s trauma as well as his subsequent trauma. Dr. Muller talks about his interest in the subject of trauma. What can therapists do in-session? Allowing client critiques can level the playing field. Want to hear more related to https://www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes/ (Avoidance?)Listen to this episode where Dr. Dan Brown discusses https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu87/ (Complex Trauma. ) And, check out this episode with Bonnie Badenoch on https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu83/ (Establishing Neurological Safety) This Episode’s Resources are listed below!Purchase https://amzn.to/2WTnI3J (Trauma and the Struggle to Open Up, From Avoidance to Recovery and Growth) by Robert T. Muller. Purchase https://amzn.to/2thJXm4 (Trauma and the Avoidant Client, Attachment-Based Strategies for Healing) by Robert T. Muller. Check out Dr. Muller’s articles on https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-about-trauma (Psychology Today’s blog on mental health.)
Who doesn’t love special offers?We’re on Patreon! Become a Super Neuronerd, a Gold Neuronerd or an Out and Proud PLATINUM NEURONERD today! 🙂 Join our exclusive community of http://www.patreon.com/therapistuncensored (Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds) for just $5 a month! Gain access to private, more in-depth episodes and exclusive content. Help us create a ripple of security by sharing the science of relationships around the globe! https://www.patreon.com/join/2305101? (NEURONERDS UNITE! )https://www.patreon.com/join/2305101? (Click here to sign up.)
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This episode breaks down neurofluency – the basics of neuroscience as it relates to being human in a relational world. This skill will help you with your boss, your teacher, your student, your child, you client or your spouse. Renowned author and therapist Lou Cozolino returns to Therapist Uncensored with co-host Sue Marriott for a breakdown of a concept he calls neurofluency. They describe what the key ingredients are for growth and why integration of different treatment forms can be crucial to healing. This one is for true neuronerds, therapists and advanced “normals” – technical but also truly applied theory! In this episode, TU89, we discuss: The concept of neurofluency Cortical integration – The importance of having a safe relationship and a capacity to regulate . You need to feel safe in order to have affect regulation, which you need to not have your cortical systems inhibited, and then you can add new information. Or when safe you can learn, when threatened you shut down any new updates to your old model, new learning, adaptation. Cozolino offers his thoughts on EMDR treatment and the orienting response. This is different and interesting – check it out! News: We have three executive systems, not just cortical, like previously imagined. Now it’s recognized that we have the amygdal response system (most primitive, fight-or-flight), frontal parietal networks in the brain (organizes our experiences of space-time and how to navigate), and the default mode network (self awareness, empathy). Learn the one most associated w/ the attachment system Historical background on Freud, who may have inhibited his own interest in the brain (despite being a neuroscientist) until a publication came out after his death. Therapist Uncensored has a page that says, “Neuroplasticity, Get Some.” We discuss what “neuroplasticity” is and what are the conditions that promote it?’ The psychology of distrusting leaders. In relation to face to face therapy, touch therapy, somatic therapy, Cozolino believes that the main key is safety, in whatever capacity it comes. Learning how to think through the basic principles of plasticity to achieve change is the goal, and there’s no one right way to do that. Emotion has to be part of new learning. Main points:There are no set answers and don’t believe anyone who is telling you they have them. Don’t trust narcissistic leaders that insist on following their brand, or say their view is the right and only way to do treatment. That is not science, it is not integrated in history and the balance of science and practice, and we should be skeptical especially of those profiting from alleged “new ideas” in therapy. We should also be wary of those that follow such gurus. The brain is a social organism so you have to have a broad view or conceptualization. You have to get in touch with your own flexibility and tolerate the anxiety of your own ignorance. (We LOVE that!!!) Previous and early Therapist Uncensored https://www.therapistuncensored.com/louis-cozolino/ (Episode #36), this with Patty Olwell and Lou Cozolino –
Lou Cozolino’s Biography: Louis Cozolino, PhD, is a professor of psychology at Pepperdine University and a private practitioner. He is the author of The Healthy Aging Brain: Sustaining Attachment, Attaining Wisdom (2008), The Neuroscience of Human Relationships: Attachment and the Developing Social Brain (2014), The Neuroscience of Psychotherapy: Healing the Social Brain (2010), and Why Therapy Works: Using Our Minds to Change Our Brains (2015), Timeless: Nature’s Formula for Health and Longevity (2018). He has several books and articles in press at this publication. His new Dr. Cozolino has diverse clinical and research interests and hold degrees in philosophy, theology, and clinical psychology. His current interests are in the areas of the synthesis of neuroscience with... Support this podcast
Strategies to deliver what to do, not so much why to do it. Building self-confidence and inner security on your own can seem nearly impossible, so for today we are ditching the heady theoretical neuroscience to break down 6 quick tips to improve self-confidence entirely on your own. It’s science-based but we focus on the actionable. You’ll discover how this handful of practical steps can vastly improve the way you feel internally and the way you carry yourself externally. Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott co-host this show to bring the science of relationships to the world in an accessible and practical format!
In this episode, we discuss action, not theory: Tip 1: Sit up – Focus on your posture, pull your shoulders back and bring your body up. Breathe in and think of standing like a soldier, not collapse like a rag doll. This alone can bring a cascade of new internal experiences. Try it. Tip 2: Make eye contact even if scares the shit out of you – Look straight ahead, lift your head up and make gentle eye contact with anyone around you, whether you know them or not. Eyes produce gabba and oxytocin. Try and actually see others. Gently hold it with those you know and those you don’t, meet them. Experiment! Tip 3: Don’t be creepy w/ this one, esp if coupled with the two above 🙂 but practice a tiny, gentle internal smile – This smile is mostly internal but it will relax your face and actually evoke calming neurotransmitters that signal safety in your body. (And signal availability for others to approach you. Cool perk!) Tip 4: Go slower – Slow down your metronome. If you’re speaking rapidly, you’re broadcasting your internal state probably anxiety or pressure. Take a breath and slow down. You’ll end up speaking more directly and come off more confident. Sue presents her “1-3-5-7” scale for approaching someone and navigating an impromptu conversation. Stay engaged and don’t do what most people do and give up after your first approach. Tip 5: Learn to ground or center yourself, use the tree method. Become the trunk not the branches, have roots. Become aware of the present moment. Who are you inside yourself? Can you feel that? Tip 6: Prepare and practice – These things won’t be natural unless you actively implement them on a frequent basis and you can practice them pretty much anywhere. You can actually make your brain calm down by taking a deep breath and relaxing your body over a twenty second period. Let your brain do a hertz sweep to see how you are doing and fake relax, this will signal your body that it is actually safe to really relax. 🙂 Want different perspectives related to this episode? https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/he-saidshe-said/201210/be-in-the-moment-feel-more-secure https://tinybuddha.com/blog/8-ways-to-be-more-confident-live-the-life-of-your-dreams/
Enjoying the podcast? Then you’ll definitely enjoy this previous episode as well! It’s neuro-nerdy, but if you are up to it, and especially if you want IN DEPTH training on psychology and attachment, click here: https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu87/ (Treating complex trauma and attachment with Dr Daniel Brown) Like what we are doing for you and the world? Please…. http://patreon.com/therapistuncensored.com (Become a TU Supporter) and get more in-depth content (FOUNDING MEMBERS CAN JOIN FOR ONLY $1 A MONTH):Many of you have expressed a desire to get more in-depth content and we believe we have a found the answer! Become a Patreon member and, depending on level, you can have access to a private feed with deeper content and more access to us, as well as support our ability to continue to provide fresh content to many across the globe that may not otherwise have such free access. Go to https://www.patreon.com/user?u=383659 (Patreon.com/therapistuncensored) and sign up... Support this podcast
This episode is packed with cool content! Learn about complex trauma, debunk myths of false memories from an expert witness for the prosecutors of child sexual abuse, and revisit the 3 Pillars Model of effective treatment for attachment disturbances, Dr. Daniel Brown! Also see the https://learn.mindonly.com/a/12103/EvztK9J7 (SPECIAL OFFER) for his newly launched training below. Early attachment disruption is often the primary contributor to many adult mental health issues. Treating symptoms without addressing the underlying root cause can set up both the therapist and the client, so it’s important we all understand what is happening below the surface. In this Therapist Uncensored episode, Dr. Daniel Brown joins co-host Sue Marriott to discuss the 3 essential ingredients of effective and efficient treatment for many clinical issues such as anxiety, depression, addiction, PTSD and personality disorders. We also get to hear take away’s from the 200 child sexual abuse cases he has testified for as an expert witness for the prosecutors and his work at the International War Crimes Tribunal helping them establish a standard of evidence for victims of war atrocities. From his wealth of knowledge regarding complex trauma and his extensive training in mindfulness and forensic psychology, Dr. Brown brings us deep insight into how treatment from an attachment perspective can lead to significant and lasting healing.
In this episode, TU87, we discuss: What is the complex trauma profile and what does it actually mean? What is its etiology? You’ll learn how re-constructing complex trauma as a branch off of disorganized attachment can allow for faster and more powerful treatment. We also discuss: Research findings that suggest that complex trauma is really disorganized attachment aggravated by later childhood abuse What Dr. Brown has learned through his experience as an expert witness in over 200 cases His research on sexual abuse through forensic testing, and how ideas behind the false memory claim and dissociative amnesia permeate The three pillars of treatment for attachment disorders (find out more about the three pillars in TU34 with David Elliott https://www.therapistuncensored.com/treating-attachment-disruptions/ (here)!) Treatment on the anxious preoccupied side of the attachment spectrum (red side of the spectrum) and rectifying impaired self-development, chronic levels of anxiety, and chronic compulsive caretaking https://learn.mindonly.com/a/12103/EvztK9J7 (SPECIAL OFFER!) Dr. Daniel Brown has just launched one of the most comprehensive online training programs available! You may want to take a deeper dive in your understanding of attachment or, if you are a clinician, you may want to earn 8 hours of CEU training. This will also help you be more prepared to help your clients heal trauma and attachment issues in your practice. Just click on link https://learn.mindonly.com/a/12103/EvztK9J7 (attachmentproject.com )and put “UNCENSORED” in the code box to receive 10% off the cost of the courses Dr. Brown has to offer. Daniel Brown’s Biography: Daniel Brown, Ph.D. is Associate Clinical Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School and has served on the faculty for over 38 years. As a senior meditation master, he’s trained and taught with top Indo-Tibetan Bon & Buddhist lamas for over 48 years, including lineage holders of some of the great schools of Buddhism. He is an author of 24 books, and winner of the several awards from the American Psychiatric Association and the American Academy of Psychiatry & Law for outstanding contribution to forensic psychiatry. As a legal expert witness, Dr Brown has testified in over 200 child abuse cases and served as an expert witness for the prosecutors at the International War Crimes Tribunal helping them establish a standard of evidence for victims of war atrocities. Dr. Brown co-developed The Attachment Project based on the foundations Support this podcast
Therapist Uncensored co-host Sue Marriott ends the year with an episode answering two great questions about mentalization, regression and attachment left by listeners. By the way she totally missed her co-host and partner in crime, Dr. Ann Kelley, who was out of town and could not make it work before end of year. Hi Ann! Can’t wait to have you back on air! In this episode, we discuss:Question 1: “If someone is so far on the blue spectrum, they are completely out of touch with emotions and needs and intimate relationships, trying to think of what the other person feels or staying curious seems almost impossible. It feels like mentalizing is too much to ask from that person. Is there something of an approach you can recommend prior to mentalizing, to basically make it even possible?” A recap on what mentalizing is and how it works – conscious and unconscious examples The Three Pillars model for treating secure attachment – mentalizing isn’t the only intervention. You need to work on gaining an agreement, or getting collaboration that this is even a goal. Also introducing safety via imagery or real relationships to move the person to a more secure, confident place to begin to open up and not be so righteous and certain. All this helps to move from certainty to curiosity – and curiousity helps with mentalization/mindsight/mirror neurons/reflective function…. Question 2: “How to deal with regression and attachment, especially when we are facing frustrating times and emotionally heightened situations? How do we avoid steering into the deep dark corner of your personal attachment which is making the relationship at risk? How do we secure ourselves or your partner?” Discussion of difference between regression and just having attachment insecurity as a whole, living in the blue vs. resorting to dismissiveness or avoidance due to current environmental or internal stressors. Noticing the signs of regression Learning about your triggers, patterns and warning flags of regression – know where your bones are buried. Make a map of your psyche so you can more fully trust yourself and know when not to trust your (usually very strong) reactions. Journaling is a great way to make your map and keep yourself on course. If nothing else, do this to continue to grow your secure coherent narrative towards integration. Integration protects relationships.
Resources from this episode:This video is a must watch even if you’ve seen the concept discussed before… Study it, learn it, use it in daily life. Please! Mhttps://www.psychalive.org/minding-the-brain-by-daniel-siegel-m-d-2/ (ore on Dan’s handmodel of the brain – Psychalive. ) https://amzn.to/2LtzrAt (Healing Attachment Disruptions in Adults, Comprehensive Treatment and Repair) by Dan Brown and David Elliott This is MUST HAVE book for your professional library. If it’s too dense… stay in touch we have a few options available soon for you from both Elliott and Brown…. Fun stuff to be announced soon. https://amzn.to/2Cpau6s (Minding Emotions Cultivating Mentalization in Psychotherapy) – by Elliot Jurist Thank you to our brave listeners who allowed us to use their great questions – Sina from Berlin, Germany and Avy! Please uncensor yourself and https://www.speakpipe.com/Therapistuncensored (leave us a message on our voicemail) ! So fun! Enjoying this episode? Then you’ll probably enjoy this previous publication as well, https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu85/ (Reading Between the Lines, Attachment in the Classrooms with Linnno Rhodes) Want to ensure we can keep it going and have more access to more content? Become a http://patreon.com/therapistuncensored (supporter of the show) at http://www.patreon.com/therapistuncensored
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Using the science of attachment, mentalization and emotional regulation in the classroom, and in this case, adult learners. A look at the take-aways from a tour of relational science experts, guest Linno Rhodes joins co-host Dr. Ann Kelley as they look at applying the skills learned in one’s life and the workplace. Our guest today shares herself as a case example of how learning about the use of attachment science and how it affects one’s perceptions of co-workers, employees and students can change your life personally, and your effectiveness in the workplace. For her that meant the lucky adult literacy students she gets to work with. Therapist Uncensored co-host Ann Kelley joins guest Linno Rhodes to uncover the difficulties and nuances of adult education, with special attention to dysregulation, attachment and barriers like literacy. Rhodes and Kelley share personal experiences with adjusting their mindsets in regards to education and how these shifts can allow for tremendous personal growth. Linno was so enthusiastic about learning about the relational sciences in her own life that she went after and received a fellowship from The Victorian Adult Literacy Education Council in Melbourne Australia. With this she came to Austin and met Sue and Ann, and then traveled the US interviewing thought leaders on the relational sciences to bring back to Australia. Now that is enthusiasm + passion + savvy guts!! Check out her PDF presentation below that addresses mindsight, growth mindset versus fixed mindset, ideas to teach regulation, and lot’s of great suggestions that apply to many settings, not just education! In this episode, TU85, we discuss:Linno’s take-aways from her thought-leader attachment tour and bringing her best practices back to Victoria, Australia Her background, experience, and focus on adult education The trends in the classroom that impact the desire to learn, such as the barrier between literacy and illiteracy Some important factors in education such as tone, board preparation, greetings and eye contact Reframing learning as a growth mindset, instead of a fixed mindset The role of emotion regulation in the classroom Mirror neurons and their role in the classroom Teaching tools about the relational sciences (see powerpoint below) Resources from this episode: Linno Rhodes has worked in Adult Literacy Education for 15 years. Prior to this she worked with women and children escaping family violence. Through the 2017 Department of Education and Training Higher Education and Skills Group and the International Specialized Skills Institute she was awarded an International Vocational Training Practitioner Fellowship, which brought her to study in the US. Email: LinnoRhodes@gmail.com https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Reading-Between-the-Lines-Seeing-Invisible-trauma-teaching-and-learning.pdf (Reading Between the Lines-Seeing Invisible trauma – teaching and learning PDF) Dweck, C. (2017) Mindset: Changing the Way You Think to Fulfill Your Potential. Random House, New York Olson,K. (2014) The Invisible Classroom. Relationships, Neuroscience and Mindfulness in School, Norton Rogers, C.R. & Freiberg, H.J. (1994). Freedom to Learn (3rd Ed). Columbus, OH: Merrill/Macmillan. Siegel, DJ (2012) Mindsight: Change Your Brain and Your Life. Scribe International Specialised Skills Institute http://www.issinstitute.org.au/ (http://www.issinstitute.org.au/) Olympic Adult Education http://www.oae.vic.edu.au/ (www.oae.vic.edu.au) Enjoying the podcast? Then you’ll probably enjoy this previous episode as well, https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu-84/ (Why Do We Over (or Under) React? The Neurobiological Underpinnings of Attachment Categories.) Join the Conversation The easiest way to dive in is to like our https://www.facebook.com/austinshrinks (Facebook) – it’s an Support this podcast
Neurobiological differences can be detected between secure and insecure relating, and even between the two organized insecure patterns of attachment (Dismissing and Preoccupied)! Cool, huh!? In this Therapist Uncensored episode, co-hosts and real therapists Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP begin to the question – why are there only 3-4 categories established in the largest body of attachment research given the zillions of different experiences across the globe? We point to the neuroscience behind our attachment strategies that limit our biology in responding to stress and threat. This is cool because we can understand it and begin to gain mastery over our primitive reactions (& help regulate those close to us – quite a perk!). As always, we love to hearing from you! Uncensor you feedback, comments & discussion – https://www.therapistuncensored.com/contact/ (get in touch), or better yet, leave us a live Voicemail that we can respond to by clicking the side button on our http://www.therapistuncensored.com/ (website (add your email to enable us to message back)!) In this episode, TU84, we discuss:What is social engagement and what is the neuroscience behind it? The role of Oxytocin in positive interaction seeking behaviour Discrepancies in how information gets encoded between different partners can lead to difficulties with couples, especially with how future social information is encoded The link between attachment and threat The role of re-appraisal & neuroception The difference between emotional and cognitive mentalization How mentalization looks across the attachment spectrum Join the Conversation We primarily use https://www.facebook.com/austinshrinks (Facebook) and https://twitter.com/austinshrinks (Twitter )(@austinshrinks) This week’s question (for our private online Facebook group – join https://www.facebook.com/groups/1747105872195110/ (here) if you are a neuronerd and would like interesting, supportive, non-solicitive engagement with other neuronerds!) Question: What 1-2 specific take-aways did you get from this episode? (ie. What do you want to remember or for other people to be sure to hear?) Explore these Resources from this episode: https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2012.00212/full (Neuroscience of Social Interaction and Adult Attachment Style) – GREAT article! https://www.cell.com/trends/cognitive-sciences/fulltext/S1364-6613(16)30199-1 (The Neurobiology of Infant Attachments – a list of articles) https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763414000888 (Neurobiology of Social Interactions) – for true nerds Liked this episode? Then you’ll probably enjoy this one, too https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu83/ (Establishing Neurological Safety Through Relationships with Guest Bonnie Badenoch.) Follow our Podcast Subscribe to Therapist Uncensored on any podcast player, there are TONS but here are links to: https://itunes.apple.com/ph/podcast/therapist-uncensored-podcast/id1146941306?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 (iTunes), http://subscribeonandroid.com/www.therapistuncensored.com/feed/podcast/ (Android) (https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGhlcmFwaXN0dW5jZW5zb3JlZC5jb20vZmVlZC9wb2RjYXN0 (Google Podcast app) now supports all formats, it’s already on your Android phone) and https://open.spotify.com/show/2Cv0V85tssliSL8wz7gVWm (Spotify) (this means epidsodes are downloaded automatically to your podcast player) You can listen via Alexa or Google smart speakers… http://www.therapistuncensored.com/ (Check out our website )to sign up for our email list (this gets you access to our private FB group if you want to sign up for that group). https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.therapistuncensored.com%2Ftu-84%2F&hashtags=attachment%2Cinterpersonal_neurobiology%2Cpodcast%2Ctherapy%2Cpsychology&via=austinshrinks (Tweet) Support this podcast
Learn about the natural neurobiology of co-regulation and it’s capacity to engage safety and heal trauma. In addition, this episode addresses the myth of self-regulation and how to re-engage interpersonal relationships if they’ve been neglected. Therapist Uncensored co-host Sue Marriott LCSW CGP chats with author and therapist Bonnie Badenoch about the concept of using safety to reshape your neural landscape through authentic relationships. Badenoch guides us through her progression of building a bridge between science and practice to cultivate the best therapeutic mind. You’ll learn how exercising “happy humility” and compassion can allow for an ideal presence in our day-to-day life using our autonomic nervous system. Also, special hats off to Steve Porges and polyvagal theory. 0:00-30:00 What creates safety? How do our internal systems want us to be received? Sympathetic activation happens when there’s a need to control something in light of an obstacle. Internal systems challenge to remain in an open and receptive state. Polyvagal theory and Steve Porges. How can we explore the relationship between safety and curiosity and best use the language of “safety,” versus “comfort” and “discomfort”, especially towards the beginning of therapy and in new relationships? Badenoch contends that there’s no such thing as a maladaptive experience; that humans are always adaptive and require co-regulation. What’s the difference between co-regulation and auto-regulation? Is there a “myth” of self-regulation? Discussion of ideal parent figure protocol. Badenoch explores the connection between co-regulation, neural circuitry and forging relationships in your life. 30:00-60:00 Social Baseline Theory is what happens to our perceptions when someone we trust is with us. The difficulty and pain of tasks is always reduced when we’re with a trusted beloved and this relaxes our amygdala response. Badenoch walks us through her experience of feeling safe during and between client sessions. It’s key to have mutual, caring, receptive relationships with people who are willing to listen rather than jump in and try to offer advice. Young therapists. Everyone’s doing the best they can with what they have in their neural make up but how can we embody a therapeutic presence in the world through compassion or a “happy humility”? Resources: https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/A-Symphony-of-Gifts-From-Relational-Neuroscience-1-1.pdf (A Symphony of Gifts From Relational Neuroscience (1)) Excellent PDF from Bonnie Badenoch https://amzn.to/2SPvObv (Being a Brain-Wise Therapist: A Practical Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology [2008] Badenoch ) https://amzn.to/2Dr7iZW (The Brain-Savvy Therapist’s Workbook [2011] Badenoch ) https://amzn.to/2SStd0k (The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships [2017] Badenoch) https://amzn.to/2PEzI8v (The Heart of Trauma Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships by Steve Porges)!
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Can men be BOTH Relational and Masculine? It couldn’t be a more important time for thoughtful, honest, and provocative discussion on what it means to be a man in today’s culture. Perel makes a case that men are both harmed by the existing power structures and perpetuate harm by the codes imposed on them by all of us. In 2018 there are many contentious ideas about masculinity and “the male code” including confusion by men about how to hold themselves out as safe and masculine during this time of #MeToo and Kavanaugh. Esther Perel, named by Oprah as one of the 100 Supersoul visionaries joins Therapist Uncensored’s hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott in a daring discussion about the modern man at the precipice of historic mid-term elections in the United States. Can women discuss this without “womensplaining” and what is the difference? Well there certainly is… Find out by hitting play! Perel also gives a glimpse into the backstory of her next Sessions Live event, the Masculinity Paradox https://events.estherperel.com/sessions-live-2018-livestream/ (Second annual Sessions Live: “The Masculinity Paradox)” sign up here. What is it – check it out below: Debates around patriarchy, gender equality, toxic masculinity, fatherhood and changing sexual dynamics surround us like fog, throwing us into an unusual time of transition, confusion and trouble. This one-day Sessions 2018 clinical event and workshop is built on the premise that if we support change in the emotional lives of men, it inevitably changes the lives of their partners. Drawing from psychology, trauma theory, family systems therapy, and anthropology, The Masculinity Paradox provides an essential multidisciplinary training on the current cultural crisis of gender relations — and its unique potential to change and improve the lives of all.
Episode notes: 00-20:00 Perel discusses her interest in the topic of men as well as the ability to discuss others in general and encourages women to talk about masculinity and men to talk about femininity. Perel previews what her “Sessions Live” events are like. Perel reflects on under/over-representation in certain fields and how she can better provide a platform for unheard voices. Perel’s definition of the modern man and modern masculinity as a win-or-lose mentality. Perel breaks down “the male code”. What are the pressures put on men in society and in relationships? 20:00-40:00 Expectations of change compared with ambivalence towards change. Emotional afflictions of women can be considered worse for men because society deems that they are not supposed to have these feelings. Like this and want to hear more? http://www.therapistuncencored.com (Join our email list here), subscribe to https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/therapist-uncensored-podcast/id1146941306?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 (Tunes here) or leave us a voicemail on our website just click the button on the right, we may read or play your review on air, please rate and review us on your favorite podcast player, it helps so much!!Finally – this is really easy – https://www.facebook.com/austinshrinks/ (join our Facebook page here) to get updated popular articles on these subjects of interest.Check out our free YouTube video on using the attachment spectrum: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PF7g4K8fDvo (Modern Adult Attachment 101) to learn more Want more like this?https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu-42/ (Sexual Vitality 6 Principles of Sexual Health with Doug Braun-Harvey) Resources:https://events.estherperel.com/sessions-live-2018-livestream/ (Masculinity Paradox livestream) https://www.amazon.com/Ep-1-Ive-Had-Better/dp/B07288DSQT/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540386060&sr=8-1&keywords=where+should+we+begin (Where Should We Begin? Esther Support this podcast
Interpersonal co-regulation requires boundary setting. Most of us haven’t been lucky enough to learn to be good at boundary setting naturally, by good examples, so we have to literally be taught how to do this important skill. Well today we are in luck! Jello will be your friend. 🙂 Therapist Uncensored co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott join the founder of IPNB Psychotherapy of Austin, Dr. Juliane Taylor Shore, in a discussion on interpersonal neurobiology and how it relates to boundaries. We’ll explore the three types of boundaries, how to co-create boundaries and how to stay regulated using internal mechanisms. After this podcast, you may very well be on your way towards building your own “Jello wall” and better co-regulating yourself when you’re overwhelmed! 0:00-25:00 Some background on Juliane Taylor Shore: Founder of IPNB Psychotherapy of Austin with interests in interpersonal neurobiology, neuroscience, philosophy, biology and physics. How are boundaries defined and what sort of connotations come with boundaries? How can the connection between boundaries and interpersonal neurobiology actually bring people closer? The Three Types of Boundaries External, Behavioral Boundary: “I don’t want to talk to you when you raise your voice at me.” Or “I’d love to see you but I can’t right now.” The concept of having to say “no”. Psychological Boundary: separation between people, difference between true self and parts of self (“air” between people, your truth and my truth are allowed to be different) “Jello Wall” Containing Boundary: (individually deeming what’s okay leading up to healthy shame) Boundary that stops you from acting out. Co-creating boundaries between two people is a great way to negotiate disagreements and find a middle ground. “Fucked up people will try to tell you otherwise, but boundaries have nothing to do with whether you love someone or not. They are not punishments, judgments or betrayals. They’re a purely peaceable thing. The basic principles you identify for yourself that define the behaviors you will tolerate from others, as well as the responses you will have to those behaviors. Boundaries teach people how to treat you and they teach you how to respect yourself.” – Cheryl Strayed (Author of Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail) “Jello wall”: Stop and slow down all the input coming towards you so you can ask, “Is this true or not true?” and “If it is, is this about me or not about me?” This allows you to view the world around you without getting hurt. Allows you space to reflect and be in your own system. The differences between the logical left brain and abstract right brain influence how they connect neural networks. Healthy shame is important to not beat one’s self up over establishing boundaries. Using young ones and animals to teach your inner protector parts to have a better containing boundary, relieving trauma by talking to your young self (you at four, sixteen, etc.) rather than beating your present self up. 25:00-50:00 Exploring the connection between attachment and interpersonal neurobiology. The anticipation of threat before setting a boundary and connecting to something after getting overwhelmed so that it’s part of your life narrative and not something that keeps popping up. The individual nervous system isn’t meant to survive being alone after trauma but we need co-regulatory nervous systems AND you can be your own co-regulatory system. You can start by building up your relationship with yourself and learning to trust your internal voices, neural networks or other people. Examples Support this podcast
We joke around a lot on this show, but when it hits the fan we are serious therapists devoted to treating real people and all kinds of survivors. As women, as privileged humans lucky enough and wildly empowered enough to have a mic and thus a voice with an audience, and as survivors ourselves, we could not let the treatment of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford in the Kavanaugh hearing for his nomination for the Supreme Court pass without sharing our thoughts on what is happening from an attachment perspective. We give our best guess on what exactly people were responding to when they overwhelmingly called national and local hotlines in unprecedented numbers, told their stories, and overall agreed on Dr. Ford’s credibility from both sides of the political aisle. We speak in this moment not from a political perspective, but from a somatic, nervous system perspective. Something has stirred in the American public even different than the #MeToo movement, and we speak to it on this episode. We also touch on the science of memory, implicit and explicit, mirror neurons, stress hormones and threat responses and most importantly the power of patriarchy to harm both women and men. We also speak about what to do if you are triggered by these events and encourage you to reach out and get support. We send each of you man, woman, all political persuasions, all ages a message of connection and care. There is no place for power-over, dominance, sadism, silencing others, humiliation and condescension. But if we band together and protect anyone, of any party or gender that has a healthy enough nervous system and attachment organization to be able to connect, dialog, listen, debate respectfully, repair and have the COURAGE to share feelings in a way that is vulnerable and relatable, then we can turn this insecure selfcenteredness around. (Hint — blasting entire groups of people is not vulnerably sharing feelings, it is a power-over move. Use your mirror neurons to tell the difference, vulnerability begets empathy, rage begets fear or intimidation or a joining-with, get the pitchfork sort of group rage!). Learn to spot dominance and call it out as inscecurity – because it is. Instead support connection and relatedness ESPECIALLY in your leaders because those in power will try to squash them. Think of the nervous system. Health is integration of the left and right, not dominance of the left over the right. It’s not all LEFT, we can’t do anything without both working together. Hope you enjoy the bonus episode. Please please leave us a http://www.therapistuncensored.com (voicemail on our website) www.therapistuncensored.com to let us know how we are doing. We play some of them on our show. https://www.facebook.com/austinshrinks/?ref=bookmarks (FB live )Oct 8ee Monday 11:30 Central — see you there! https://www.facebook.com/austinshrinks/?ref=bookmarks For discussion – https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/mar/08/women-challenging-patriarchy-one-podcast-at-time https://news.virginia.edu/content/your-brain-politics-neuroscience-shapes-our-views https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/politics-and-the-neuroscience-of-fear_us_5940e51de4b03e17eee08810 https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2018/09/kavanaugh-hearing-cspan-caller-assault-christine-blasey-ford/ (A Woman Called Into C-SPAN During the Kavanaugh Hearing. What She Said Is Absolutely Heartbreaking.)https://neurosciencenews.com/blasey-ford-testimony-sexual-assault-9928/ https://www.inverse.com/article/49435-christine-blasey-ford-trauma-science https://www.scientificamerican.com/podcast/episode/blasey-ford-spells-out-trauma-memory-formation/
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A guide to secure relating and using the attachment sciences and regulation theory in your day to day lives. Today we review what we’ve discussed so far on the podcast about the attachment spectrum and add more detail about the nervous system. THANK YOU for getting us all the way to Season 3!! We continue to share our ideas on the practical use of attachment science and learning to manage our nervous system. Facebook Live October 8 11:30 am Central Time — Bless us with some attention here because we have never done this before but are taking the scary tech leap so that we can interact more directly, show you some stuff and we are just going to go feet first and are going to try it. Hope to see ya there! We have updated a few things on the show, and we are hoping to add some much needed help this fall and are excited about what is in store! So today we do a quick review of what we’ve covered before on the podcast and go over how to navigate our website and our various podcasting platforms, but we focus primarily on weaving in more nuance to the attachment spectrum. The spectrum comes from the research on infant to adult attachment that are profoundly supported in the literature. We work to make this dense science accessible in as clear and useful a way as possible that also weaves in as much neurobiology and regulation theory as possible. We go over the notion of listening for narrative. Not what people say but how we put ideas together, not what happened to us but what we’ve done with it. So for example a the notion of a coherent narrative, one that elaborates on one’s view of themselv in the world and can perspective-take and be curious and open to exploration and influence yet have a stable sense of one’s sense of self. This compared to insecure narratives that may restrict information in various forms in order to preserve a sense of safety. We also talk about the difference between states and traits, and focus primarily on states because that is something we can change. We review implicit/explicit learning. We support the notion of strategies of development instead of seeing this as insecurity, or pathology, or dysfunctional. This is also different than introversion/extroversion. We shift to discussing polyvagal theory or regulation theory and the ladder of regulation and how this relates to attachment. BLUE-RED-GREEN. Nervous system decoded. Hopeful message of change and connection and security!! Why we are doing this. Listener Comments – THANK YOU!!! Please leave us a message on our website www.therapistuncensored.com Facebook Live October 8 11:30 am Central Time — Bless us with some attention here because we have never done this before but are going to try it. Resources: http://amzn.to/2sUdioc (Attachment Disturbances in Adults Treatment for Comprehensive Repair (2016) Daniel Brown andDavid Elliott ) http://amzn.to/2trqjTx (Clinical Application of the Adult Attachment Interview Edited by Howard Steele and Mariam Steele) Our favorite clinical reference for those that want to learn much more deeply about using the AAI to treat attachment and learn about its usefulness with various populations. Van Assche, L. et al “Attachment in Old Age: Theoretical Assumptions, Empirical Findings and Implications for Clinical Practice” Clinical Psychological Rev. 2013 Feb; 33(1): 67-81
Schore A “Back to basics. Attachment, affect regulation and the developing right brain. Linking developmental neuroscience to pediatrics” Pedal Rev. 2005; 26: 204-217.
Rees, C. “Childhood attachment,” The British Journal of General Practice, 2007, Nov. 1; 57(544): 920-922 https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.therapistuncensored.com%2F79%2F&via=austinshrinks (Tweet) Support this podcast
Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger How does your involuntary stress response system affect you throughout life? FAVORITE EPISODE!!! This one takes a wide-angle look at attachment throughout one’s life, discusses how one’s environment affects their system’s involuntary response to stress, and how that stress response system impacts us from infancy to the autumn years. In this episode, co-hosts Ann Kelley Phd and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP discuss attachment across the lifespan, specifically looking at the elder years and how our attachment system affects us as caretakers of our parents or as the senior who may be undergoing the various losses inherent in aging. From toddlerhood, friendships, dating, mating, aging, and even through the dying process our stress response system governs how we manage these important transitions. As physical, mental and financial stress go up as we age, so does our need for security and people to nurture us. Attachment roles may reverse and understanding this deeply may provide openings for changes to close relationships. Neuroscience continues to document our ability to change and grow throughout our life. This episode takes a wide-angle look at attachment throughout one’s life, discusses how one’s environment affects their system’s response to stress, and how that system impacts us from infancy to the autumn years. Learn how to adjust set stress “pathways” and move towards more secure relating in adult relationships, and also unravel the parallels that exist between attachment in infants and the elderly.
Show notes: 0:00-10:00 This is a replay, a fan favorite and Season 3 Starts in October. We are trying something new for Season 3 – A FB live office hours – Oct 8 11:30 central time, Q&A and demo of some of our ideas on attachment, join us on our public FB group there! We never re-listen to our episodes and this one we did… and to our surprise we LOVE it. Of course it’s deeply meaningful and a perfect way to end our break. We’ve had a few losses, some of which are hinted at here but we are in fact right in middle of the wash cycle of life being tossled around learning about this stuff in action. I guess there is no other way. So to re-listen was deeply meaningful and very touching to us. We hope you enjoy it as well. ___ Attachment overall: Our environment directly affects how our system responds to stress. How babies are responded to when distressed directly impacts the attachment relationship they develop. Involuntary stress response, HPA Axis Set Points: Cortisol level upon waking (stress response) impacted by attachment status and primary relationships. Even with positive relationships with mothers, surprising study where race of the child affects cortisol and set these kids up for more risk. Epigenetics. Insecure attachment is actually a very effective coping mechanism and strategy in children in stressful situations. It’s a strategy not a disorder! Keep cortisol level low – keep those you’re attached to close, eye contact, holding, tone of voice, self-soothing, interpersonal regulation. Alan Sroufe longitudinal study since 1976 10:00-20:00 “Pathways”: optimal and problematic routes Those with lower cortisol levels are more likely to ask for help. Early caregiving vs. friendship networks It’s possible to move pathways from insecure to secure, particularly with strong relationships Spiritual relationships: secure attachments to spiritual center or community can... Support this podcast
Deep discussion on how the current political, international and climate crises could be viewed as a chance to transform human connection rather than be seen from a place of doom. Dr. Siegel called for us all to become pervasive leaders – a great inspiration.Look for a new interview with Dr. Siegel coming soon on his new book, Aware. We will publish that very early into our next season which will be launched soon!Interview with Dr Dan Siegel, the father of Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB). Get a peak into his thoughts on building hope in our fear-based culture today, human kind across history and using this science to make changes individually and as a society. Sue Marriott LCSW and Patty Olwell LPC speak with Dr. Dan Siegel about the most recent finding in his new book, Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human (A New York Times Best Seller). Dan Siegel discussed how the current political, international and climate crises could be viewed as a chance to transform human connection rather than from place of doom. He called for us all to become pervasive leaders — Pervasive Leadership characteristics :Change your mental model of I and Thou. Act locally; think holistically. Enact empathetic stewardship Human history over time – Sapians – (see resource list). Homosapians have been killing their brothers and kin since the beginning of recorded time, so any current cultural unkindness is part of our hardwiring. We can rise above it, but first recognize it as human. Interpersonal neurobiology – coined by Dan Siegel in 1999 is a way of living and viewing the world with a set of principles that lead toward integration. Integration – combining distinct specialized functions that link and connect the specializations together, creating harmony. This is a view that can be utilized within one person and across couples, families, organizations and nations. In-group/Out-group discussion and MindsightWhen a person is seen as the same, we have a natural resonance and empathy. If we feel safe we can extend that to those that appear Other. If we feel threat – even if we don’t know we are feeling it (nanoseconds of a threatening photo flashed, outside of our awareness) we respond strongly by turning off our empathy for the Out-group and turning up our response to the In-group. This is the explanation for what is happening here in the United States and Britain and many places around the world where genocides are occurring. Terror is driving this IN/OUT hostile behavior. With practice this can be changed. Say to yourself: My nervous system is making me treat the other person as an Out group member with more hostility, but that goes against my larger values of treating all human beings, all living beings with deep respect, as I would my In-group. We can rise above it. Rise above our brains initial proclivity towards bias and our mind to actively change how our brain ultimately carries out behavior – to be able to see the others mind and treat them as an in-group. Compassionately, fairly. Our leaders, people who run our country, organizations, educational institutions, clinicians, and people in positions to raise children… all have brains and minds that can overcome this biologic bias. We should see them as humans with limitations. Uninformed. They need safety to let down. FACESFlexible Adaptive Coherent Energetic Stable MWE = me in a body + we in connection to others and the planet Eudaimonia – Greek term that means life filled by meaning and connection and equanimity not from producing and consuming junk
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In this candid and more personal conversation than usual, Therapist Uncensored co-hosts Ann Kelley PhD and Sue Marriott LCSW CGP open up about the last year of podcasting and a few painful life events. Since they are therapists first, they typically keep themselves somewhat out and keep content forward. This is to protect patients that may be listening but also to keep the focus on the material the audience is tuning into to hear, the content. However during this break between seasons, they’ve had time to both prepare for next season and really get honest about where they are, which has been in some tough spots. They decided to share some of that in order to walk the walk and be open with their audience about their own journey in this process. The show is about risk and transparency and vulnerability so if they are going to ask you to do that, then how in the world can they not do the same in kind? They also then go on to share their thoughts and excitement about things to come. They specify a few ideas, including how to make the podcast totally ad-free but still be able find a way to sustainably produce it (funding and time – family, work, kids etc.). One idea was to have an advanced track that was paid content where listeners who wanted more can pay per month for extra content to go in-depth, have direct access to Ann and Sue for questions in a time managed format like Vox, and create a community to have direct access to one another. Another idea was to do webinars and create classes, Ann especially wants to do one for couples. Regardless they have to find a way to support the production of the show and go more in-depth with material, since each podcast needs to be able to stand alone. It’s a dilema. Finally they practically beg you to give them feedback so your input is included in planning for Season 3. 🙂 Coregulation you know. PLEASE go to https://www.therapistuncensored.com/ (Therapist Uncensored) and push the blue button to the right and leave a message. Or if you prefer, email info@therapistuncensored.com. They are already recording for next season and will begin Season 3 soon. Not sure when, no pressure on them please, but when it happens they’ll be in ship shape and ready to roll. In the meantime enjoy the replays! Remember everything so far is FREE and totally accessible to everyone! https://www.facebook.com/austinshrinks/ (Like us on Facebook!)
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It’s not too late to develop security in yourself, your children and your relationships. With this skill, you can increase attachment security today even without a long-term relationship or years of psychotherapy. Dr. Adkins and co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP walk us through the steps.Mentalizing seems easy – but actually it is quite complex. Thinking accurately about our own and others minds is such a core skill that many consider it a pre-condition for self-soothing, empathy and other facets of emotional intelligence and social-emotional maturity. It is also something that one can learn at any time in life, so it’s never too late to improve in this capacity for yourself or your children! Mentalizing and AttachmentOf course this is directly related to attachment styles, which is part of our interest. The coolest thing is that you don’t have to have even earned security to learn to do it and interrupt the unintended transmission of insecure relating! We now know that with short-term cognitive interventions we can teach this particular skill and that alone improves the attachment security outcome for children of high risk parents. This is exciting! When early caregivers are unable to reflect on their children’s state of mind, these kids do not receive the active and ongoing feedback they require to develop their own capacity of secure reflection. This is big, because without this skill they do not learn how to understand their own thoughts, feelings, and motivations, or the thoughts, feelings, and motivations of others. Mentalization is what enables us to develop a sense of identity and the capacity to understand both our own feelings and motivations; and those of others. Keeping Your Own and Others’ Minds in MindDr. Dan Siegel calls it Mindsight, it’s also been called Reflective Function and Metacognition, but it all basically refers to being able to accurately see your own mind as it works – body, feelings, thoughts, and other people’s minds as they are whirling away. It is the capacity to infer and predict attitudes, motivations, affect and feeling behind the thinking. The better we are at mentalizing the more likely we can securely relate. NOTE: You can be secure naturally with a history of attuned parenting probably by secure caregivers, but you can also “earn” security by working on it. The cool news is those with “Earned Secure” relating are actually better at mentalizing, most likely because of the work they’ve had to do on themselves. GO ALL OF US EARNED SECURE FOLKS!!! Dr. Adkins breaks down the concept and skills required, it’s simple but not as easy as it seems. Her work in the foster care system is truly revolutionary, but these skills can be applied to adoption, children in general, and adults wanting to improve on their feelings of insecurity in the world. BiographyTina Adkins, PhD, is a Research Associate at the University of Texas at Austin, School of Social Work. She completed her PhD in Theoretical Psychoanalysis under the direction of Peter Fonagy and Patrick Luyten at University College London and the Anna Freud Center, specializing in attachment based interventions for foster/adopted children and their families. Her work in London resulted in a promising psychoeducational intervention for foster/adoptive parents designed to increase their mentalizing skills. Her research and clinical work continue to focus on the development and assessment of mentalization in parents and families.
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Tina Adkins: : https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Family-Minds-Summary-5.18.17-1.docx (Family Minds An Attachment-based Mentalizing Psycho-Educational Intervention for Foster and Adoptive Parents) Tina Adkins: https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Family-Minds-blog_Tina_1.23.17-1.docx (Why being reflective is so important Support this podcast
Self Compassion is an antidote to shame, the underpinning of narcissism. It is fierce accountability that is core to psychological health… who knew? Most of us think of it as being soft on yourself, but our guest will reveal the surprising power and science of self-compassion in this episode. Co-host Dr. Ann Kelley interviews Dr. Kristen Neff, an Associate Professor at the University of Texas at Austin and a foremost author and expert on Self Compassion. Self Esteem vs Self Compassion This is not feel-good, la-la, therapy-talk, it’s real science. Learn the important distinction between these two concepts and how one can lead to psychological instability, self-criticism, stress, competition and difficulty within ourselves, our relationships and our culture. You really want to get this right and may be surprised! Treating yourself as your own best friend. Misperceptions of Self Compassion It’s NOT a free pass, or being easy on yourself. It can be “fierce” and “protective” and “motivating.” Science shows that the warmth and support of self-compassion promotes health and increases the chances of success in accomplishing goals, whereas negative self talk and kicking one’s own butt doesn’t work because it creates a system of threat and self-sabotage. Steps to Self Compassion Dr. Neff outlines the three elements of self-compassion: Mindfulness vs. Over identification:The first step is to be mindfully aware of ourselves and our emotions, but from a place of non-judgement. Common Humanity vs Isolation: The second step is to recognize the common humanity in our feelings and behaviors rather than seeing ourselves as the “best” or the “worst.” Recognizing that pain is a normal part of human existence, as is suffering and personal inadequacy. Self-kindness vs. Self-Judgment: Being kind to oneself rather than self-condemning, is at the core Self Compassion as an antidote to shame, the underpinning of narcissism Dr. Neff discusses research which highlights the increase in narcissism in our current culture. She highlights our culture’s tendency to be competitive and to place individual value as contingent on how we compare to those around us. This leaves us extremely vulnerability to the development of narcissism and other psychological difficulties. We discuss the importance of teaching self-compassion to our children and to maintaining an active, loving presence with oneself in order to build self-value without a need to downgrade or succeed over others. Self Compassion in our political climate Dr. Neff speaks frankly about her perceptions of the current political climate. She sees self and other compassion as essential to help our country deal with the discord and disharmony around us.
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:) Additional resources for this episode: http://self-compassion.org/ (Kristen Neff): (visit this it has tons of great resources including free mp3’s) Kristen Neff: http://amzn.to/2ldO2RX (Self Compassion Step by Step, The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself) (Audio CD) Brene Brown: http://amzn.to/2lZqBAx (The Gifts of Imperfection) Karen Bluth, forward by Kristin Neff: http://amzn.to/2l0xX77 (The Self-Compassion Workbook for Teens) Jean M Twenge and W. Keith Campbell: http://amzn.to/2mzS4p5 (The Narcissism Epidemic Living in the Age of Entitlement) http://self-compassion.org/test-how-self-compassionate-you-are/ (Self Compassion Test ) http://brenebrown.com (Brene Brown) “courageously present” rather than “mindfulness” http://www.horseboyfoundation.org (Horse BoyFoundation) in Elgin, TX http://www.itunes.com/Movies/TheHorseBoy (The House Boy) movie These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!) ... Support this podcast
Finding the middle ground between constantly attending to your child versus letting them learn to self-soothe is a challenge that all parents must face. In this episode, Therapist Uncensored hosts, Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP, break down the difference between “Attachment Parenting” and the science of actual Attachment theory. They share key elements from research outcomes that surround many common misconceptions of applying the theory itself. You’ll learn that the ideals setup by Dr.William and Martha Sears and Richard Ferber might not fully translate in today’s world of parenting and that the way you respond to your child’s needs is a determining factor in how secure they will be later in life. Thank you to our sponsor!
Episode brought to you in part by https://www.theranest.com/TherapistUncensored?utm_source=tu&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=july-2018 (Theranest), they help keep us on the air and being able to offset the costs of producing this show. Please visit their website and check out their services, you have nothing to lose and produUtivity to gain! We’ve arranged a deal to get 20%off your first 3 months to give you a chance to try it out. We know you don’t want to spend your time billing, you want to spend your time across from people you care about – clients, friends, family, your pets, whomever. But not the computer. Let them help you.U 0:00-10:00 Introduction Attachment Parenting is mostly associated with Sears & Sears Modern research shows that providing children love, kindness and responsiveness results in a more well adjusted person Attachment Theory: how a child learns that their primary caregiver can safely respond to them when they’re distressed Attachment parenting by Sears and Sears asserts the importance of the three B’s: Breastfeeding, Baby Wearing, and Baby Sleeping Attachment is a two-way process between parent and child 10:00-20:00 The three essentials for developing secure functioning Children use their caregiver to regulate their body until they can do it on their own Filling children up for exploration and being available for refueling rather than keeping children attached to you continuously Responsiveness doesn’t have to be so strict and can be attuned to your family’s needs Attunement builds secure attachment Children are resilient and will bounce back so don’t feel you have to follow all the rules, make it work for the parent-child dyad. Focus on attunement rather than strict adherence to a technique. 20:00-30:00 Babies sleeping through the night is not necessarily a sign of secure attachment Sleep training and Ferberizing is not necessarily allowing babies to “cry it out” but is a way of training them to sleep on their own. Research indicates that babies should not be sleep trained prior to 6 months of age Learning what your child’s cries mean helps you become attuned to them Putting children to bed prior to falling asleep allows them to learn to sleep on their own 30:00-40:00 Studies have shown that parent and child’s cortisol levels are both elevated at the start of sleep training but, over time the caregiver’s goes down as the child expresses less distress yet the babies often stay elevated. No shame parenting allows parents to respond to their children in a way that helps them grow Children need to learn to get distressed and cry and to be soothed be loving caregivers “Prepare the child for the path and not the path for the child” Wrap up and outro Resources https://www.amazon.com/Attachment-Parenting-Book-Commonsense-Understanding/dp/0316778095/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1533177314&sr=8-1&keywords=attachment+parenting+sears (The Attachment Parenting Book : A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby) by William Sears and Martha Sears https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0091948096/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_taft_p1_i1 (Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems) by... Support this podcast
What makes the ins and outs of sexuality so hard to talk aboout? It turns out, if couples do talk about sex, the conversation is often mostly about frequency. However, what is missing are the zillion of other thoughts and feelings we have about intimacy (or lack there of), desire (or lack thereof), fantasies (or lack thereof), pleasure (or lack therefo) and, oh yeah, the mechanics of sex as well. But don’t sweat it, in this episode Therapist Uncensored co-host Dr. Ann Kelley joins guest Dr. Susan Ansorge to talk about talking about sex. Learn to overcome the difficulties of opening up to yourself and your sexual partner about these very personal and understandably anxiety-filled conversations. Dr. Susan Ansorge is a practicing psychologist in Austin, TX. Her interest, training and experience in working with sexual issues began during her tenure as a staff psychologist at the UT Counseling and Mental Health Center, and has continued through her 17 years of private practice. Dr. Ansorge was also member of the Austin Women’s Psychotherapy Project, bringing leaders in the field of gender-aware Psychotherapy to the Austin area, as well as presenting locally and nationally on topics in the areas of gender and sexuality as they relate to psychotherapy. Her written work has appeared in the National Center for PTSD Quarterly. 0:00-10:00 Introduction General difficulties in discussing sex with your partner Learning to talk about talking about sex Desire discrepancy and more complicated questions/conversations about sex The difficulty in beginning a discussion that you are afraid might be hurtful to your partner
10:00-20:00 How best to get dialogue going with your partner about desires and likes/dislikes When and where is the right place and time for the right conversation about your shared sex life? How sex is initiated and finding a compatible middle ground Desires and fantasies can often be considered taboo, but fantasies can also be a gold mine of communication Difference in fantasies between men and women, women of different ages
20:00-30:00 The element of novelty in women’s fantasies and element of pleasing their partner in men’s fantasies Part of women’s fantasies is being desired Caretaking and nurturing is counterintuitive to sexual narcissism Avoiding arousal/desire censorship
30:00-40:00 How to bring up talking about sex to one’s partner and using available resources Appreciating one’s partners perspective just like in any communication setting Wrap up and outro
Resources https://www.amazon.com/Mating-Captivity-Unlocking-Erotic-Intelligence/dp/0060753641 (Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence )by Esther Perel, former guest on our show. https://www.harpercollins.com/9780060984281/the-erotic-mind/ (The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment )by Jack Morin https://www.amazon.com/Tired-Womans-Guide-Passionate-Sex/dp/1605501077 ( Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex: Reclaim Your Desire and Reignite Your Relationship) by Laurie B. Mintz https://www.amazon.com/Come-You-Are-Surprising-Transform/dp/1476762090 (Come as You Are) by Emily Nagosaki
We appreciate our sponsor TheraNest! Our show is not just for mental health professionals AT ALL, but if you are a mental health professional, you will appreciate our sponsor as well! Most of us do not want to spend our time on the business aspect of our practice. https://www.theranest.com/TherapistUncensored?utm_source=tu&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=july-2018 (TheraNest) is a practice management software that will help you streamline and manage your entire practice with ease. They provide HIPPA compliant documentation, full-featured calendar (even with text reminders!), insurance and client billing, credit card processing and live customer service. Ourlisteners receiving 20% discount Support this podcast
Do you use a to-do list as a way to justify the need to be busy rather then the other way around? Idleness can breed discomfort and busyness seems to help to fill in the gap. Learn how conscious busyness and idleness can generate cognitive health and happiness, while unconscious busyness just adds to the stress trap. As real therapists, we challenge you to not believe what you think. Inquire. It’s healthy to question the stories you tell about yourself and the world… update your model. Check out your story. See if what you tell yourself is still true, or has ever been true. If it’s right there is no problem in questioning, but if you are in a mental rut you wouldn’t know it unless you cache the map and look again. In this episode we ask you, has being busy become an identity, a badge of honor, or is it simply a fear of being idle? Perhaps an antidote to loneliness? A way to be needed? A VIP? Are you choosing your schedule or feel as if you are being handed it? Is that true? 🙂 Dive deep into an exploration of how our relationship to busyness can distance us from ourselves and those around us. Therapist Uncensored co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott discuss how a sense of urgency, a desire for a sense of importance, stress, and discomfort are all interrelated in dealing with idleness in your everyday lives. We’ll talk about how you can keep your mind engaged in moments of idleness and how you can make the most of your resting state by truly being idle or through purposeful activity. 0:00-10:00 Introduction Why do our minds want to be busy? How is being busy a culturally dictated status symbol? Choice and sense of urgency effect Purpose, busyness and stress The psychological discomfort of idleness despite the natural, evolutionary desire to choose it 10:00-20:00 Choosing idleness as a primal need to conserve energy Natural aversion to idleness without purpose The appeal of mindfulness through its intent to bring you something Keeping your brain busy with new skills keeps it healthier in the long run (processing speed, episodic memory) 20:00-30:00Differentiating being full vs. being busy Importance vs. urgency Your brain is always working, even (or especially) in idle times How best to use your resting state 30:00-40:00Learn to be idle rather than occupy your idle time OR move and be active (purposeful l idleness vs. purposeful activity) Boredom and stimulation, meaning and purpose Wrap up and outro
Resources: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/being-super-busy-may-be-good-your-brain-or-not-180959147/ (Being busy may be good for your brain! Smithsonian Magazine. ) http://science.sciencemag.org/content/345/6192/75 (The Challenges of the Disengaged Mind ) https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnagi.2016.00098/full (The Busier the Better: Greater Busyness Is Associated with Better Cognition)
We appreciate our sponsor TheraNest! Our show is not just for mental health professionals AT ALL, but if you are a mental health professional, you will appreciate our sponsor as well! Most of us do not want to spend our time on the business aspect of our practice. https://www.theranest.com/TherapistUncensored?utm_source=tu&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=july-2018 (TheraNest) is a practice management software that will help you streamline and manage your entire practice with ease. They provide HIPPA compliant documentation, full-featured calendar (even with text reminders!), insurance and client billing, credit card processing and live customer service. Ourlisteners receiving 20% discount on first three months if you sign up with https://www.theranest.com/TherapistUncensored?utm_source=tu&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=july-2018 (TheraNest.com/Therapistuncensored). Please click above and check it out. Want to support this work and stay in... Support this podcast
Walk through the discovery experience of coming to understand yourself as transgender and see how coming to truly discover and embrace yourself relates to everyone, not just those who identify as non-binary. Therapist Uncensored co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP joins Umbrella Collective founder, clinical social worker, psychotherapist and parent Li Brookens in a lively discussion on recognizing the complexities (and social implications) of defining oneself as non-binary. They discuss what therapists need to know in working with these populations, and share great resources to follow up. Their sweet conversation captures the human development across ages to the struggle and pride of landing in a place with oneself that feels like home. They also talk about how to differentiate terms like gender and sex and the importance of a non-binary conception when discussing identity. We think you’ll enjoy it and learn something no matter your gender identity! WHO IS LI? Li Brookens is a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), certified group psychotherapist (CGP), and clinical hypnotherapist providing psychotherapy for individuals, couples, and groups in Boulder, Colorado. Li is the founder of their group practice, the Umbrella Collective that specializes in psychotherapy for your intersecting identities. Li has advanced skills in working with LGBTQ+ identities, young adults, and groups. Li works collaboratively with clients weaving together modern psychodynamic theory and postmodern therapy using a social justice lens that centers on marginalized identities. “I believe that each client I work with has an inner knowing that is seeking to be uncovered. I see my job as helping my clients excavate that knowledge so they can empower themselves to make meaningful changes in their lives.” 0:00-15:00 Introduction Li’s own experience growing up, maturing and discovering their gender identity as non-binary 15:00-30:00 Removing binary thinking from identity and opening up a world for identity Counter transference Defining “cisgender”, transgender as anyone who transgresses gender norms Gender assignment vs. sex assignment, sexual orientation, sex role Non-gender specific pronouns such as “they” 30:00-50:00 Preferred terms vs defining terms; it’s not a preference, it just is. Addressing being trans in a general therapy sessions Gender dysphoria Having a problem with anxiety vs. having anxiety about having a problem Resources, how best to address transgender people as therapists, familiarizing yourself with the gender spectrum Wrap up and outro
References/Resources: https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/The-Colonized-Mind-Gender-Trauma-and-Mentalization.pdf (The Colonized Mind: Gender Trauma and Mentalization )by Sarah Silverman – excellent clinical article from therapists perspective, one of Li’s favorite’s! https://www.wpath.org/about/ethics-and-standards (WPath.org (World Psychological Organization for Transgender Health) ) THIS IS A MUST SEE -Ethical Standards, be familiar with these if you are a therapist. Great resource! https://www.genderspectrum.org/ (Gender Spectrum for families )Another awesome resource, this has tons of great material for anyone interested in learning more! Share freely. http://www.umbrellacollective.org/ (Umbrella Collective) – how to get in touch with Li Brookens https://kut-podcast.streamguys1.com/views-and-brews/VB-Being-Trans-in-Texas-FINAL.mp3?siteplayer=true&dl=1&listeningSessionID=5a2eda163ef26791_18121648_5Yduzbyb__0000000FRPa (KUT Views & Brews: “Being Trans in Texas Today”)
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Image provided by US Customs and Immigration, shows children in McAllen TX detention facility. “Security” at the border? Relational science professionals have a lot to offer to understand the human rights event that is unfolding on the US-Mexico border. This podcast has been all about promoting security in ourselves and our loved ones, and a primary component to this is access to your caregiver when you are young. It effects our biology, or persistent sense of ourselves and our view of the world. But it works both ways… Stress and fear that is ongoing also has the same persistent thumbprint as well. The consequences of forced separation on top of the stressors many of these immigrant children have already endured may well have lifelong impact on their body and minds, and we will talk about why and how this occurs. Regardless of your political leanings, the separation of immigrant children from their parents from any international border is a distressing situation. We’ll discuss the specifics and its impact on human development, particularly toxic stress, broken trust and the epigenetics of these biological imprints. We will also provide things you can do to manage stress yourself, and to help at the border if you are moved to do so. 0:00-5:00 Introduction Overview of situation on the United States-Mexico border and its impact on human development 5:00-10:00 Biology of your body wanting to return to a “safe haven” when threatened Attachment, separation and child development 10:00-15:00 Separation of children from attachment figure and its mental strain, toxic stress and its impact on the bodies Biological impact of trust and lack thereof 15:00-20:00 The epigenetics of broken trust and toxic stress Dysregulation of parents who’ve lost their children 20:00-25:00 Secondary stress, unregulated cortisol in any situation can be harmful eventually. Call to mindfulness, and action as a thoughtful response. It’s ok to down regulate by filtering news and social media, take care of yourself until you can act. It’s a privilege but when you keep your heart on-line and stay mindful you can be more effective. Wrap up and outro http://(https://www.theranest.com/TherapistUncensored?utm_source=tu&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=july-2018) () We appreciate our sponsor TheraNest! If you are a mental health professional, you will too! Most of us do not want to spend our time on the business aspect of our practice. https://www.theranest.com/TherapistUncensored?utm_source=tu&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=july-2018 (TheraNest) is a practice management software that will help you streamline and manage your entire practice with ease. They provide HIPPA compliant documentation, full-featured calendar (even with text reminders!), insurance and client billing, credit card processing and live customer service. Our listeners receiving 20% discount on first three months if you sign up with https://www.theranest.com/TherapistUncensored?utm_source=tu&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=july-2018 (TheraNest.com/Therapistuncensored). You can click above and check it out. Resources: https://www.psychologytoday. com/us/blog/thriving/201806/ separation-is-never-ending- attachment-is-human-right (Separation is Never Ending Attachment is a Human Right), Psychology Today Jesse Borelli Blog and Co-authored by Alicia Lieberman, Anna Maria Speranza, Anne Rifkin-Graboi, Carlo Schuengel, Charles Zeanah, Daniel Siegel, Dante Cicchetti, David Pederson, Debby Jacobvitz, Elizabeth Carlson, Erik Hesse, Frances Nkara, Gottfried Spangler, Howard Steele, Jean-François Bureau, Jessie Borelli. Jody Todd Manly, Jude Cassidy. Judith Solomon, Karlen... Support this podcast
Calm the chaos of your mind by trying out these ideas and this technique with yourself or if you are a clinician, your patients. The Mirroring Hand technique teaches you to use your natural problem solving to manage stress and anxiety. In this episode we dive into practical techniques for building your own growing edge and using your natural felt-sense of security. Discover how to tap into your inner wisdom by using curiosity about your own body to cultivate focus and healing. Join psychotherapist and author Richard Hill in an over-the-pond discussion with co-host Dr. Ann Kelley about the essentials behind his “mirroring hands” technique to treat dysregulation and self-defeating patterns. Guest Richard Hill is a practicing psychotherapist, author, and educator. He is President of the Global Association of Interpersonal Neurobiology Study’s (GAINS), director of the Mindscience Institute, and managing editor of The Neuropsychotherapist. He has published several books (see show notes for titles and links), as well as numerous articles, journal papers and book chapters. If you are interested in more on treatment and the body check out our Mindfulness section and most recently, check out our interview with Dr. Pat Ogden, of the Sensorimotor Institute: https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu65/ (Episode 65) 0:00-15:00 Introduction Understanding security as a natural sense of well being. How does a person/patient actually know if they’re okay or not? It’s not controlled by our cognitive understanding but is a natural, felt sense – working with traumas, understanding the functionality of a system even if there are unhealthy tendencies How to bring healing and hope into internal systems, “The healing state”: disruptive consciousness vs. integrating state Three fundamental elements of natural problem solving and healing: 1) Focus attention 2) Move into a state of curiosity 3) Nascent possibility — Mirroring hands technique demonstration 15:00-30:00 Mirroring hands continued – Problem of the therapeutic process getting in the way of clients working, the healing has to occur within physically feeling “the need” 30:00-45:00 Hill’s anecdotes about patient experiences with mirroring hands The key is helping someone find a focus and become curious The three frames of curiosity The idea of mindfulness and the “sunset”
RESOURCES: Richard Hill Contact: https://www.richardhill.com.au (www.richardhillau.com) https://www.amazon.com/Practitioners-Guide-Mirroring-Hands-client-responsive/dp/1785832468 (The Practitioner’s Guide to Mirroring Hands: A Client-Responsive Therapy that Facilitates Natural Problem-Solving and Mind-Body Healing) by Richard Hill and Ernest Rossi. Hill is also President of the Global Association of Interpersonal Neurobiology Studies (GAINS), director of the Mindscience Institute and, Managing Editor of https://www.neuropsychotherapist.com (The Neuropsychotherapist). His other books include, https://www.amazon.com/Choose-Hope-within-Richard-Hill/dp/0732267110/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1529769184&sr=8-1&keywords=choose+hope%2C+richard+hill (Choose Hope, Discover the Magic Within) and https://www.amazon.com/How-Real-World-Driving-Crazy/dp/0958089019 (How the ‘Real World’ Is Driving Us Crazy!)https://www.amazon.com/How-Real-World-Driving-Crazy/dp/0958089019 ( )as well as numerous articles, journal papers and book chapters. https://www.google.com/search?source=hp&ei=V3AuW6OxCZKGsQXY7piQCA&q=affect+regulation+and+the+origin+of+the+self&oq=affect+regulation&gs_l=psy-ab.3.4.0l10.1013.4476.0.6698.18.10.0.7.7.0.128.1027.4j6.10.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..1.17.1118.0..0i131k1j0i10k1.0.jYjgJu2VL2k (Affect Regulation and the Repair of the Self )(Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) Alan Schore, one of the fathers of interpersonal neurobiology. Want to support this work and stay in... Support this podcast
Afraid of interacting at work? Candid and hilarious conversation about how the relational sciences translates to work and parenting, by a listener ready to challenge the premise. Are you sick of hearing about relationships but interested in attachment? (Or want to deepen your understanding of real world application of the science while you have a good laugh??! All the single listeners (think Beyonce!) heads up. We are going to break down attachment theory and apply the cool science for all of us…. Continuing in the series on adult attachment, co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP joins Becki Mendivil in a spunky wild conversation about how attachment affects someone who isn’t in a romantic relationship nor is seeking one, but simply as an individual and a human being. We’ll chat about personal experiences with attachment with a wide array of anecdotal examples and dive into the essentials of not remaining in one spot on the attachment spectrum. Becki is self-described as “very blue” so this episode is especially great for those that linger on the avoidant end of the spectrum. Just try not to laugh and learn as it unfolds! If you like this you’ll want to be sure and listen to our attachment series, check out https://www.therapistuncensored.com/ (Therapist Uncensored home page ) and scroll down to the attachment category. Recent episodes https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu59/ (58, 59 and 60 will catch you up to speed!) Introduction The problem of assuming someone’s in or seeking a romantic relationship when discussing adult attachment Becki’s giving Therapist Uncensored hosts the what-what on how she reads what we’ve said so far Generational transference of attachment 15:00-30:00 Becki’s experience in listening to the avoidant attachment episode of Therapist Uncensored Seeing the light! Becki’s exeriments to test if this model is actually useful or not. Daughter example. Empathetic silliness unfolds. Sue’s anecdote about her son and changes in attachment Becki affecting change in her physical isolation at work – confronting Sue on therapizing her 🙂 30:00-45:00 Becki’s wild move towards interacting more directly with peers (!) Avoiding attachment labels/categories as strict definitions of a person Navigating up and down the spectrum of attachment in response to varying types of threats 45:00-60:00 Attachment disruptions Idea of the “corkscrew” Wrap up and outro
Resources: https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1084&context=managementfacpub (Adult Attachment Styles in the Workplace) – Harms, 2011 article https://media.terry.uga.edu/socrates/publications/2018/04/Little_Nelson_-_2011_-_Journal_of_Organziational_Behavior_-_Integrating_attachment_style_vigor_at_work_and_extrarole_performance.pdf (Integrating attachment syle, vigor at work and extra-role performance at work) -Little, et al 2011 article https://ejop.psychopen.eu/article/view/814/html (Individual differences in Work-Related Well Being, the Role of Attachment) 2014 Get in Touch
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We have unconscious stories about ourselves and the world held in our mind/body. Learn how becoming curious about your body can have a huge impact on your sense of self. Body attunement + conscious reflection (left/right, top/bottom integration) are hallmark markers of secure functioning. Tap into your own body as a deep and abiding source of information and means of finding self-understanding and closer connection. Guest Dr. Pat Ogden is a pioneer in somatic psychology, co-founder of Hakomi, founder of the Sensorimotor Institute, and author of several book on Sensorimotor Psychotherapy (see show notes for links). She joins co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP in a discussion of the principles of sensorimotor therapy which is informed by the richness of developmental psychology, neuro-affective research, and mindfulness. Very importantly, they also get into a thoughtful discussion of multiculturalism and implicit unconscious majority bias in the mental health field. The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well. –Hippocrates The body always leads us home . . . if we can simply learn to trust sensation and stay with it long enough for it to reveal appropriate action, movement, insight, or feeling. — Pat Ogden 0:00-15:00 Intro, Pat’s initial interest in psychotherapy, somatic therapy and the polyvagal theory Rhythm and attunement through yoga and dance The importance of mindfulness in relation to the body, posture as an indicator, philosophical principles
15:00-30:00 The body as a source of knowledge and information Interconnectedness of principles, understanding “unity” across different cultures Gene expression, cortisol levels upon waking and collapsed/immobilized posture Understanding trauma from a white dominant perspective and marginalized perspective
30:00-45:00 “Window of tolerance”, the modulation model, finding the middle ground between hyper arousal and threshold of any arousal Trying not to stick with formula when understanding an individual Implicit bias, identifying racism Key principles
45:00-60:00 Decoding humility as therapists Advice for non-therapists Identifying ailments in your body and actually doing something to correct it rather than just hoping it’ll get better (e.g. posture, breathing, etc.). Keeping mindfulness in the body in the moment. Become curious about your body. Wrap up and outro Like this and want more? Dive deeper by checking out the resources below: Resources:https://amzn.to/2xshjUD (Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Interventions for Trauma and Attachment )by Pat Ogden & Janina Fisher https://amzn.to/2IPYJLn (Trauma and the Body A Sensorimotor Approach to Psychotherapy) by Pat Ogden et al https://www.sensorimotorpsychotherapy.org/articles.html (Sensorimotor Institute) – articles and resources, Pat Ogden Director and Founder https://amzn.to/2seHtF3 (Accessing the Healing Power of the Vagus Nerve Self-Help Excersizes for Anxiety Trauma Depression and Autism )by Stanley Rosenberg Want to support this work and stay in touch?http://www.therapistuncencored.com/ (Join our email list), subscribe to https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/therapist-uncensored-podcast/id1146941306?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 (Tunes here) or https://www.facebook.com/austinshrinks/ (join our Facebook page here) to get updated popular articles on these subjects of interest. Biggest help of all is to leave us a review, they are so useful as we go forward fine-tuning what is most helpful for our audience and it literally inspires us to keep going in this hobby of love! Be Support this podcast
Mindfulness literally soothes our nervous system and teaches us to manage our mental shenanigans. This is a straight up super cool mindfulness meditation exercise. Try it and repeat. And repeat again. It’s vulnerable but seriously, do it with her. It works. Enjoy a straight shot of Kirtan Kriya Meditation from Kundalini Yoga Instructor and Therapist, Kelly Inselmann. Lose your inhibitions, roll up the windows so no one can hear you and go for it. Coolness and calm on the other side. https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu63/ (TU 63: Living with Cancer – The Six Principles of Emotional Healing with Guest Kelly Inselmann) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu52/ (TU 52: Using Mindfulness, Movement and Yoga to Manage Arousal, with Guest Kelly Inselmann) https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Mindfulness%20Meditation%20with%20Yoga%20Therapist%20Kelly%20Inselman&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.therapistuncensored.com%2Ftu64%2F&hashtags=meditation%2Cmindfulness%2Cyoga%2Ckundalini%2CKirtan_Kriya&via=austinshrinks (Tweet) Support this podcast
Cancer sucks, no way around it. If you have it, had it or are supporting someone who does, this episode will be nourishment for you by bringing your mind and body into the healing and recovery process for cancer and trauma is so important. Fighting cancer is often traumatic physically, emotionally and relationally. Podcast host Dr. Ann Kelley joins therapist and Yoga Instructor Kelly Inselmann (LCSW, C-IAYT,CGP) as she shares her personal journey through cancer recovery and describes her passion and process in supporting others to find hope and healing while in this compromised state. They discuss how modifying the six principles of emotional recovery into the basic principles of yoga can have an immense impact on well-being and recovery. This episode provides insight both for those directly experiencing the trauma of cancer and for those who love and support them. As a Bonus, Kelly leads our listeners through a 12 minute Kundalini meditation called Kirtan Kriya. This is published as a stand-alone bonus episode so that you can use it as a resource in your own daily practice. TU 63: Show Notes 0:00-10:00 Introduction and recap on previous yoga podcast Activating the body to heal the mind through yoga How trauma not only affects the mind but the body as well. Importance of making people feel safe in their bodies in the moment and tolerate their sensations Association with previous sensations with your body, both positive/pleasure and negative/pain Equipping yourself with the tools to negotiate all your bodily sensations outside of yoga class Power of mental mantras, knowing your true self, “sat nam” 10:00-20:00 Inselmann’s own journey with Stage 3 breast cancer and recovery, how she translated that to her own teachings Finding the balance between seizing the day and really appreciating every moment through taking it slow 20:00-30:00 Modifying the basic elements of yoga to fit you, be it for cancer, trauma, etc. JoyBootsForCancerSurvivors.com & KellyInselmann.com Yoga as a tool for emotional recovery Phenomena of depression once physical recovery is completed Six principles of emotional recovery 1) Just being with what is right now, physically, emotionally and mentally. You have to feel it to heal it. Finding a therapist specifically for your caregiver to walk through process in their own way 2) Finding the medicine and healing even when there is discomfort, learning to ask for help. 30:00-40:00 3) Grab a fistful of prana and accept what the universe has to offer you and bring it in. 4) There are gifts even in our physical limitations. 5) Cultivating your own prana/energy. Finding the right movement, meditation, food, habits to harvest energy 6) “Joy boots”. Hold on to memory of movement practice and using it as a somatic marker. If yourself from that memory wouldn’t feel good doing something you’re doing now, avoid it. Check out our bonus episode, a 12-minute track of a high-quality mediation specifically for you, our listeners. Thank you Kelly for this offering! https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu52-bonus/ (Click here to hear that Bonus Meditation). Who is Kelly Inselmann:
Kelly is a psychotherapist and Kundalini yoga instructor in Austin, TX and Sue is super-thrilled that she is also a Certified Group Psychotherapist. She is the founder of cutting edge Yoga and Talk Therapy groups, classes, workshops, and retreats to help cancer survivors recover emotionally and reclaim their vitality. More information at http://www.kellyinselmann.com/ (www.kellyinselmann.com ) Want more like this? Check out our free YouTube video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PF7g4K8fDvo (Modern Adult Attachment 101) to learn more – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PF7g4K8fDvo Like this and want to hear more? Find our free YouTube video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PF7g4K8fDvo (Modern Adult Attachment... Support this podcast
By Luv Doc Get Dan Hardick’s irreverent and bitingly honest insights on the dating scene and relationships that survive. Also known as the Luv Doc, he provides a unique view with his decades of experience editing Personal Ads and giving cringe-worthy dating advice with his column in the Austin Chronicle. Great insights and rowdy fun. Today’s episode may shock, offend or entertain (we are uncensored, remember?), but we are excited to keep it real by bringing in a real-guy from the trenches of the dating world. Columnist Dan Hardick, the beloved “Luv Doc” from the Austin Chronicle has seen it all. He sheds light – I guess thats what he’d call it – on the dating scene and relationships from the unique position of having decades of experience editing the Personal Ads and eventually morphing into the Luv Doc, a humorist dating advice columnist. Cohosts Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott interview the Doc about his unique experience listening to the lives and troubles and fantasies of Austin’s singles. They tie in attachment sciences but it’s even stronger to hear insights from this life expert. With wit and vulgarity, Dan shares some things that haven’t changed from the old style personal ads. Find out how people make assumptions about others and tend to overestimate themselves when finding a partner. Bottom line: based on your dating profile, would you date yourself? Have fun with this one and check out his column below! Episode notes from TU63: 0:00-15:00 personal ads in the 1980s and transitioning to dating apps and hook up lifestyle of today excerpts from some of his columns followed by frank discussion. 15:00-30:00 the difficulty in listing who you are and what you want in a succinct profile – the disconnect between who people are and who they see themselves to be. down to earth advice including entering environments where you may find the type of partner you’re seeking, be the kind of person you would like to date. Therapist spin plays off the real world of dating, lot’s of insightful suggestions and insights 30:00-45:00 complex idea of respect within self, sexual partner, self esteem, giving and earning respect, valuing what is available in the varied relationships. Importance of honesty in providing support/advice/feedback, even with difficult opinions 45:00-60:00 Increasing authenticity to avoid threat in intimacy and honesty in a relationship Wrap up and outro Resources: https://www.austinchronicle.com/columns/2018-03-16/the-luv-doc-truth-tellin/ (Luv Doc – Truth Telling’ : Being diplomatic isn’t being deceptive…) OK the above link is a recent article by Luv Doc – be sure and let yourself (lose valuable time to a vortex of clicking) peruse the hyperlinks. Caution those w/ ADD! It’s as entertaining and informative as it is plain weird, but you’ll really get the feel of Hardick only by truly perusing. And don’t miss that the advice is actually valuable you just have to unwrap it from it’s irreverence. https://www.austinchronicle.com/authors/dan-hardick/ (The Luv Doc Austin Chronicle archives) http://fingerpistol.com (Fingerpistol’s) Dan’s hot and happening band Check out this video https://youtu.be/HrG-ftrBAtQ (Still in Texas) to get a feel for the real thing! https://www.amazon.com/Single-But-Dating-Field-Digital/dp/0997296259/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1525146108&sr=8-2&keywords=dating+in+the+digital+age (Single but Dating – A Field Guide to Dating in the Digital Age ) by Dr. Nikki Goldstein https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6jBm7bgot52i_P8FliUWMA (RECENTLY RELEASED – See our free Modern Adult Attachment 101 video here!!!)
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The elusive 4th category of adult attachment, disorganization, and how this state of mind relates to everyone, no matter your trauma history. Dropping into overwhelm and disorganization happens to everyone at times, and some more than others. When we have been exposed to serious danger, unresolved fright or major loss in such a way that it interferes with healthy coping patterns, we are left to our own to manage the world. In research terms they call this disorganized or unresolved, but we’d like to describe it as squirting squid ink to confuse who we think is the predator and making a run for it. Wrapping up this 3-part series focusing specifically on adult attachment, Ann Kelley PhD and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP discuss how this style of attachment forms and how it appears in adult life. Start the series here with episode 59 on dismissing attachment, http://www.therapistuncensored.tu59 (Are You Cool or Just Cut Off ) and then go to http://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu60 (Episode 60) and Anxious Attachment. Finally, listen here to learn how to organize yourself internally and externally. Learn how to adjust back into an organized state and conquer your disconnection through focusing on yourself and building and deepening relationships. We’ll talk about how pockets of disorganization and trauma permeate in life and how increasing your bucket can improve your ability to move across the attachment spectrum and establish coherence. 0:00-10:00 Recap on attachment types and the Spectrum of Attachment (this is 3 of 3, with Episode 59 and 60 the first 2) Overview of disorganized attachment ie. driving without a GPS, “fear without solution” unintegrated mental states – Lyons-Ruth Disorganized attachment in childhood certainly happens more often with children who are intentionally mistreated and abused, but also can occur without specific abuse. Chronic fright and/or having a frightning caregiver are both factors, as well as significant loss. Children whose parents had significant unprocessed loss or trauma that may have their own disorganization struggles can also unintentionally create a frightening environment that sets their children on developmental pathways to have an incoherent and unorganized coping styles. 10:00-20:00 Establishing coherence to make sense of the bad things that have occurred in life It’s not what happened to you but what sense you’ve made of it Pockets of disorganization as a human condition Pockets of trauma, normalcy of these pockets The need to slow down when encountering these pockets, even saying to yourself that you’re disorganized is organizing. It’s not me it’s my amygala!
20:00-30:00 Big step of just moving from disorganized to organized, and eventually if you can get there from insecure to earned secure. But we will take moving from having lost one’s thinking to gaining it back. Grounding from floating. Stopping the spin. Disassociation Strengthening and deepening moments of having secure states of mind can eventually move your bucket, or internal working model, towards earned secure! Practical ideas – use small risks of vulnerability in close relationships, mindfulness, journaling, practicing Grices maxims (increasing coherence) and anchoring scales to ground. The more safe you feel, the more steady secure and organized you can get When someone is in a disorganized state, it’s time to get them grounded and more securely inside themselves, not... Support this podcast
Improve your sense of security and communicate more effectively inside yourself, and with those you love by understand preoccupied/anxious attachment. Begin to learn to manage your body’s reactivity in relationships by learning about preoccupied/anxious attachment and how it relates to unconscious regulation of the brain. Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP discuss the Insecure Preoccupied, or Anxious/Ambivalent side of the attachment spectrum. This discussion can stand alone, but it also continues as a soft Part 2 from last episode http://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu59 (TU59: Are You Cool or Just Cut Off – Dismissing Attachment). The hosts begin to really go into how to use the attachment spectrum to identify where you might fall and how to move towards a more secure place. Find out how preoccupied attachment is formed and passed on, as well as how starting anxious affects relationships later in our adult life. You’ll learn how to manage relationships better by turning inwards and regulating yourself rather than focusing on others to calm you down. Therapist Uncensored co-hosts Kelley and Marriott will also provide basic tips towards identifying where you are on the attachment spectrum and how to move from preoccupation towards security. Watch our new video introduction to attachment here, and support us on Patreon below: TU60: Podcast episode show notes- 0:00-10:00 Introduction and recap on attachment, organized & disorganized categories of attachment Red side of the attachment spectrum – preoccupied attachment Transferring preoccupied attachment from parent to child (sometimes out of fear of mis-parenting), children reacting to parents’ state of mind. Body can’t relax if caretaker is harboring unsettling feelings. Preoccupied parents are better at attuning to fear in their child Preoccupied parents can’t tolerate their own anxiety when child gets too far away. Find the balance between letting children go of and have fun and being there when they need it. 10:00-20:00 Very young secure children calm down when parents return after being separated. Preoccupied or “angry ambivalent” children will go to the parent but won’t let them soothe them, won’t trust that parent will remain there. Identifying your attachment type and handling it in your adulthood. We’re already attuned to other people and we’re used to the sense of rejection but it’s hard to attune to your own body and figure out what YOU want. Hyperactivation is an exaggeration of a normal healthy response (e.g. looking for closeness), being perceived as “clingy” or receiving disproportionate “blame”. Over-activation occurs in the red zone (as opposed to under-activation in the blue zone).
20:00-30:00 Underlying assumption that if you’re rejected or abandoned, you’re not OK You can’t always look to the other person to soothe you; this might be your own history at play. If you fall on red side of spectrum, try to scan externally less and instead check on how you’re doing. Identify your own body cues for triggers (separation, defining yourself and feeling separate, etc.), focus inwards. Be selfish (at least in your body scan)! Have your “personal policy”. Learning to hold off on talking about things until you calm down.
30:00-40:00 Learning how to use “soft tosses” in communication with preoccupied individuals. Figuring what you really want out of a conversation (it might not just being proved right). Understanding your own state of mind and the other person’s simultaneously. Giving your partner a “credibility statement”. Red side should move towards self. Blue side... Support this podcast
Confidence is not the same thing as courage. Sometimes you feel secure but really have just learned to cut off from important life-giving emotions. This episode is especially for those “talk to the hand” kind of people or those that love them. You know, the uber-independent, rational, left-brain, excel spreadsheet person that sees others emotions as needy and weak. Co-hosts Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP and Ann Kelley PhD translate decades of research and clinical experience into easy to understand usable points to help you improve your understanding of why people appear so irrational at times. They talk about how internal working models of the world are formed outside of our awareness in our early life and how they get passed forward over time, sometimes causing relationship trouble. Early stress responses and relationships create a pathway, and how we talk not what we say are clues to which pathway we may be on. This episode specifically focuses on the blue side of the spectrum, which you may be familiar from research as Dismissive or Avoidant. Hosts also discuss how an individual can move towards the secure middle of the spectrum and why it is important to integrate logic with emotion. 0:00-10:00 Breakdown of attachment types, the attachment spectrum, internal models of attachment How do we form our internal working models? Parents/caregivers connecting to and communicated with less vulnerable and less developed brains in children. First primary relationship is blueprint for all following relationships How secure attachment (green), insecure avoidant (blue) is formed between parents and children 10:00-20:00 Illusion of insecure avoidant people as confident just because they keep to themselves Dismissive attachment as people who shudder at thought of asking for emotional help Response to stress secure vs. insecure, turning your back but keeping close proximity, staying close to people through zipping up Couples where one partner avoids the other one being upset to maintain their own happiness Working on ability to need other people and connect to other people, falling on defensiveness and learning to admit insecurities Integrating intellectual/rational with emotional 20:00-30:00 Deactivated attachment system: the idea of needing a relationship in an interdependent way becomes too threatening Dismissive attached feels threatened by a loss of self Dismissing vulnerability as being needy, moving across the spectrum Auto-regulatory state responds to any change with defensiveness Having an idealization of yourself, past, relationships 30:00-40:00 If on blue side, really work on expressiveness Connect to person you consider most important in your life by imagining if you lost them. This taps into dismissive attachment assumption that people around you are always there. Recognize their need. Attune to your partner’s emotions, not a bad idea to invite your dismissive partner to couple’s therapy Wrap up and outro Resources for this episode: John Bowlby: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0465075975/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=therapuncens-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=0465075975&linkId=7e1b8c8976a30e5a02bcfec560783702 (A Secure Base) The father of attachment! Mary Main, Mary Ainsworth both primary researchers with Bowlby. https://attachmentdisorderhealing.com/adult-attachment-interview-aai-mary-main/ (Mary Main and the Adult Attachment Interview )Good summary, check it out!! https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0393706672/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=therapuncens-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=0393706672&linkId=7afab10ddb3c7fe056451d3984256c69 (Assessing Adult Attachment A Dynamic-Maturational Approach to Discourse Analysis... Support this podcast
Enjoyable one – learn the problematic and adaptive psychology behind online social interactions as Therapist Uncensored host Dr. Ann Kelley interviews this delightful UK-based psychotherapist and author. Catherine Knibbs coined the phrase “cyber trauma” and is the author of The Darker Side of the Internet for Children And Young People. This is not conservative doom and gloom. We get into attachment and neuroscience and provide realistic recommendations to help you and your children navigate the web, unpack myths, identify cyber bullying, discuss consent and provide proactive strategies that lead towards integration and health. Respond more adaptively to the internet and social media rather than swinging guardrail-to-guardrail with unkept promises and overreactions. Explore the positive and negative elements of having a global “village” you can access instantly, anywhere via our phones and discuss the impact of the internet on developing minds and the interpersonal realm of young people and adults. It’s not too late to SIGN UP FOR OUR LIVE CONFERENCE ON ATTACHMENT APRIL 7, 2018 – https://www.therapistuncensored.com/conference/ (Healing Adult Attachment, the 3 Pillars of Integrated Treatment ) with Dr. David Elliott (Thank you to our fabulous co-sponsor Austin IN Connection.)
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/events-2/ (Online reading group to start April 20, 2018) for Attachment Disturbances in Adults Comprehensive Treatment and Repair (Norton 2016) by Daniel Brown and David Elliott. https://www.therapistuncensored.com/events-2/ (Reserve your slot today)!
0:00-15:00 Intro Catherine’s interest in “cyber trauma” and personal experience with bullying, re-traumatizing experience of seeing photos posted online. Sharing images online and the loss of choice, loss of consent even with OS updates. Trauma happens without choice. Internet increases chances of exposure to traumatic images but also expands our “village”. Retraumatization process Cyberbullying 15:00-30:00 Exclusion in the cyber world is very comparable to physical bullying in terms of mental and emotional trauma. Exclusion from a party can be a much more intense experience in the social media realm as pictures are being posted “Kicking” in online gaming, “doxxing” in online forums Issue of sensitive material being downloaded and re-uploaded even if removed, teenagers don’t think through the long term behavior of risky behavior “Trawling”: a continued unwanted presence on someone’s online profile Attachment and pressure to like and post Online interactions as a valuable social learning skill for those who might be too dysregulated by physical interactions BUT you can’t just interact online all the time. Importance of socializing in a normal social setting on brain and social development (like making eye contact). 30:00-45:00 Difficulty in disengaging while engrossed in a game, “Spaghetti Test” Importance of becoming tech savvy, not just switching off video games without understanding how the game works, e.g. reaching save points, receiving XP Recognition of video games and social media impacting complex ideas like death (“respawning”) Idea of children being afraid to talk to parents after seeing traumatizing images on the internet because they think they’ll get in trouble, creating a forum for open discussion Polyvagal theory related to internet impact 45:00-60:00 Sexting and the permanence of an online upload Study of sexual images online Pressure to share images, revenge porn, difficulty of trusting others with images once sent, hyper-rational thinking from adolescents, not considering outcomes especially with lack of education Cyber signups, global synaptic connections Suggestions for parents and the internet, issue of adolescents and children having instant access to shocking images they’re not developmentally ready for,... Support this podcast
Dating bites (& no, that’s not necessarily a complaint :)). Learn to get out there and enjoy yourself as you peruse your choices. This episode is for everyone – all genders and sexualities – but today we focus on same-sex oriented women in the LGBTQ community. If you’re a queer woman who has been struggling with your dating life or if you’re still considering whether or not to come out, you’ll enjoy this discussion with co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, and Austin-base therapist Pam Greenstone. They’ ll discuss the importance of building up a multi-faceted support system, identifying red flags in a partner as well as yourself, and pacing out a relationship. Learn to identify internalized sexual stigma and how to come to rely on others to keep you regulated in the early days of dating someone new. You’ll learn about some researched differences in dating in the heterosexual community and that in the LGBTQI community as well as gender role differences that come to play in some, but not all, same-sex relationships. SIGN UP FOR OUR LIVE CONFERENCE ON ATTACHMENT APRIL 7, 2018 – https://www.therapistuncensored.com/conference/ (Healing Adult Attachment, the 3 Pillars of Integrated Treatment ) with Dr. David Elliott (Thank you to our fabulous co-sponsor Austin IN Connection.) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/events-2/ (Online reading group to start mid April, 2018) for Elliott’s book – Attachment Disturbances in Adults Comprehensive Treatment and Repair (Norton 2016) by Daniel Brown and David Elliott. https://www.therapistuncensored.com/events-2/ (Reserve your slot today)!
0:00-15:00 Introduction Inclusivity of LGBTQI community and discussion Pam’s interest in the topic, desire for healthy dating patterns in community Cultural context of homophobia, internalized sexual stigma, difficulty of ascribing to typical gender norms Importance of the support system Importance of gay pride as celebration rather than merely toleration 15:00-30:00 Building up an adequate support system Concentric circles of support: Self (middle) (Family & Friends/Layer A) (Layer B) (Layer C) Middle Layer: Working on your own internalized sexual stigma, deciding whether or not to come out and the actual factors in that decision Layer A: People that support you and will come get you. They know when something is off in your dating life (Myth of) the U-Haul effect Looking for your own red flags The notion of a partner “being the one” vs. nurturing a pairing Identifying red flags 30:00-45:00 Pacing in dating is vital, pushing for space to know how you feel without them Value of group therapy while dating, ability of others to see when you’re impaired in a way from dopamine Importance of remembering you’re flawed as well and finding a “good enough” partner Figuring out how much to share with partner right off the bat, enjoying the infancy of a relationship and not rushing 45:00-60:00 Getting out of dating and taking the pressure off Socialization of women to not disappoint or initiate You don’t have to take responsibility for someone else’s emotions Strength of gay men – capacity of direct honesty Differences between male and female same-sex couples If you’re dating, look at your support system, look at your own red flags as well as others, finding a pace in dating Wrap up and outro
Resources: http://amzn.to/2G6c1P3 (If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path by Charlotte Kas)l Pam’s recommendation for what to read next.... Support this podcast
Pick the brain of a leading attachment researcher to more deeply understand how attachment styles from infancy are both stable and can change over time. Dr. Sroufe leads us through his 40 years of research to give us his reflections on what is important in parenting and in relationships to grow security. —- If you’ve ever wanted to know how much you can predict a person’s development years in advance, then you’ll enjoy our conversation with Dr. Alan Sroufe. Co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP talks with Dr. Sroufe about his research findings over the years and how insecure and secure attachment tendencies can develop and affect an individual through their lives. Is change possible? Yes, we will tell you how. Also, can reinforcing positive expectations and taking good care of yourself as a parent truly affect your child’s growth? You’ll learn about the legacies of attachment and the importance of being able to turn to someone when in need of support. This is a hopeful journey, please join us! Dr. Alan Sroufe is an internationally recognized expert on early attachment relationships, emotional development, and developmental psychopathology and has published seven books and 140 articles on these and related topics! Dr. Sroufe is Professor Emeritus of Child Psychology in the Institute of Child Development at the University of Minnesota and he has been an Associate Editor of Developmental Psychology and Development and Psychopathology. His awards include the Distinguished Scientific Contribution Award from the Society for Research in Child Development, the Bowlby Ainsworth Award for Contributions to Attachment Research, the G. Stanley Hall Award for Distinguished Scientific Contribution to Developmental Psychology from Division 7 of the American Psychology Association, an Honorary Doctorate Degree from the University of Leiden, and the Distinguished Teaching Award from the College of Education, University of Minnesota. SIGN UP FOR OUR LIVE CONFERENCE ON ATTACHMENT APRIL 7, 2018 – https://www.therapistuncensored.com/conference/ (Healing Adult Attachment, the 3 Pillars of Integrated Treatment ) with Dr. David Elliott (Thank you to our co-sponsor Austin IN Connection.) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/events-2/ (Online reading group to start mid April, 2018) for Elliott’s book – Attachment Disturbances in Adults Comprehensive Treatment and Repair (Norton 2016) by Daniel Brown and David Elliott. https://www.therapistuncensored.com/events-2/ (Reserve your slot today)! 0:00-15:00 Introduction Guiding question behind Sroufe’s ongoing 1974 study Correlation between stress in parents and anxious/secure attachment in children Importance of healthy relational questions Why is change difficult? Negative expectations can result in off-putting behavior Chronic early stress and early predictors Life stress 15:00-30:00 Intergenerational transmission and the importance of taking care of yourself as a parent for your child Attachment in children, positive expectations through parents, learning to manage yourself at a young age Positive relationships with teachers reported for those with secure attachment backgrounds Anecdote about Vera’s dream 30:00-45:00 The importance of a supportive relationship as a predictor Those with secure history who experience bad times don’t lose their secure history “Earned” secure attachment and its neurological intricacies David Elliot, Healing Trauma Transitional moments in development 45:00-60:00 Adolescents, capacity for vulnerability Importance of being able to turn to someone, giving and receiving support, legacies of attachment The difficulty of self-reporting, necessity of being observed, AAI Impact of... Support this podcast
Have you given up the fight (political, interpersonal….)? In this episode we attempt to reignite the fight inside you for things that used to matter, and distinguish demoralization from clinical depression. Hopelessness, loss of meaning, and existential distress – these are the characteristics not of depression as one might think, but of demoralization. They are different syndromes with different directions for intervention. Find out more in this episode where co-hosts Ann Kelley PhD and Sue Marriott LCSW CGP discuss how transitioning from taking an active stance towards either situation can be beneficial. Learn how you can develop both internal and external coping mechanisms against demoralization. Please listen through the end we thank several of you for leaving a rating/review for us! Sue Marriott is a professional clinical social worker and psychotherapist, Ann Kelley is an experienced psychologist and together they along with their guests, bring the science of relationships to the world in practical understandable tidbits. SIGN UP FOR OUR LIVE CONFERENCE ON ATTACHMENT APRIL 7, 2018 – Early Bird Discount available now until 3/1/18: https://www.therapistuncensored.com/conference/ (Healing Adult Attachment, the 3 Pillars of Integrated Treatment ) with Dr. David Elliott (Thank you to our co-sponsor Austin IN Connection.) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/events-2/ (Online reading group to start in April, 2018) for Elliott’s book – Attachment Disturbances in Adults Comprehensive Treatment and Repair (Norton 2016) by Daniel Brown and David Elliott. https://www.therapistuncensored.com/events-2/ (Reserve your slot today)! Episode 55: 0:00-10:00 Introduction Defining demoralization, differentiating between depression and demoralization Demoralization – feeling of hopelessness, dropping your hands to your side, idea of the “collapse” Depression is a physiological state. People stay in this physiological state. Demoralization: You can’t imagine positive for anticipated events Demoralization clinically speaking is more of an existential crisis, idea of things being “too easy” Antidepressants are unlikely to help a demoralized person 10:00-20:00 Importance of developing agency, competence, “grit” of overcoming demoralization (and not taking that struggle from your children) Solution to demoralization: transitioning from passive to active, changing the environment, asking for accommodations Consider the way you’re complaining in dissatisfaction and external, you might be taking the demoralized approach Demoralization is inability to cope. Internal and external coping can counteract. Feel trapped. These shifts can be very difficult. 20:00-30:00 Demoralization is related more to Dismissive, or Anxious-Avoidant Attachment, choosing to stay down and bypass feelings, rather than get hopes up then get disappointed over and over again Within hope there’s desire and connection, without those you can’t push forward You can’t talk someone out of demoralization Demoralization is more linked with suicidal ideation than depression – is serious in it’s own right Taking quarter or half steps to affect change and feel efficacy, transitioning from left to right brain thinking Be interested in what happens to you when you become deflated – explore, be curious Depression is serious and should be treated but demoralization is important to differentiate. Inactivity is detrimental to both Talking to yourself out loud, using your name is a form of taking action. Take active curiosity in why you complain. Wrap up Hey careful listeners… we never figured out the French phrase Sue was trying to remember, rough english translation... Support this podcast
How does your involuntary stress response system affect you throughout life? This episode takes a wide-angle look at attachment throughout one’s life, discusses how one’s environment affects their system’s involuntary response to stress, and how that stress response system impacts us from infancy to the autumn years. In this episode, co-hosts Ann Kelley Phd and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP discuss attachment across the lifespan, specifically looking at the elder years and how our attachment system affects us as caretakers of our parents or as the senior who may be undergoing the various losses inherent in aging. From toddlerhood, friendships, dating, mating, aging, and even through the dying process our stress response system governs how we manage these important transitions. As physical, mental and financial stress go up as we age, so does our need for security and people to nurture us. Attachment roles may reverse and understanding this deeply may provide openings for changes to close relationships. Neuroscience continues to document our ability to change and grow throughout our life. This episode takes a wide-angle look at attachment throughout one’s life, discusses how one’s environment affects their system’s response to stress, and how that system impacts us from infancy to the autumn years. Learn how to adjust set stress “pathways” and move towards more secure relating in adult relationships, and also unravel the parallels that exist between attachment in infants and the elderly. SIGN UP FOR OUR LIVE CONFERENCE ON ATTACHMENT APRIL 7, 2018 – Early Bird Discount available now: https://www.therapistuncensored.com/conference/ (Healing Adult Attachment, the 3 Pillars of Integrated Treatment ) with Dr. David Elliott (Thank you to our co-sponsor Austin IN Connection.) Episode 54 podcast notes: 0:00-10:00 Introduction & David Elliot conference April 7, 2018 Attachment overall: Our environment directly affects how our system responds to stress. How babies are responded to when distressed directly impacts the attachment relationship they develop. Involuntary stress response, HPA Axis Set Points: Cortisol level upon waking (stress response) impacted by attachment status and primary relationships. Even with positive relationships with mothers, surprising study where race of the child affects cortisol and set these kids up for more risk. Epigenetics. Insecure attachment is actually a very effective coping mechanism and strategy in children in stressful situations. It’s a strategy not a disorder! Keep cortisol level low – keep those you’re attached to close, eye contact, holding, tone of voice, self-soothing, interpersonal regulation. Alan Sroufe longitudinal study since 1976 10:00-20:00 “Pathways”: optimal and problematic routes Those with lower cortisol levels are more likely to ask for help. Early caregiving vs. friendship networks It’s possible to move pathways from insecure to secure, particularly with strong relationships Spiritual relationships: secure attachments to spiritual center or community can be a very healing, integrative place Adult attachment: voluntary relationships and reciprocally dependent, symmetrical not asymetrical like parent-child Couples therapy and getting people to try to turn to one another, idea of the “soft toss” Recognizing when partner is in a stress response as being “lost in familiar places” 20:00-32:00 ... Support this podcast
Loving someone with cumulative and complex relational injuries can be challenging. Learn to manage the impacted neurobiology and relational wounds. This episode addresses both children and adults with complicated attachment histories and gives ideas about how to manage. Whether it’s your own history or someone you love, let’s be honest – it can be challenging at times to be in very close relationships when early attachment injuries have been layered and ongoing and unaddressed. Threat and unrepaired relational ruptures are encoded in our biology and our neurological systems. Child and Family Therapist Robyn Gobbel, LCSW joins co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP for a discussion on complex trauma and the importance of boundaries and depersonalizing, especially as a parent. You’ll learn how to best communicate between your partner and child when things get tense and how best to employ structured nurture and scaffolding in those relationships. Robyn Gobbel – Robyn is the founder of Central Texas Attachment & Trauma Center and specializes in adoption, attachment, and trauma. She leads webinars for parents and clinicians and will be releasing a new podcast soon! Stay tuned! Related episodes: Episode 23 https://www.therapistuncensored.com/self-compassion-dr-kristin-neff/ (Building Grit Through Self-Compassion with Kristen Neff ) and Episode 51 https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu-51/ (Conquer Shame by Understanding the Science Behind the Feeling with Steve Fin)n
0:00-15:00 Introduction Defining “trauma” and the difficulties in doing so Neurobiology of trauma Complex Trauma Trauma in relationships Gobbel’s interest in trauma Gobbel’s focus on working with children, starting early when individual is in safe family space and setting groundwork for the future
15:00-30:00 Listener question about multigenerational trauma Self-compassion, acknowledging complex history Importance of being able to look back and repair rather than aim to be perfect all the time What happens when one parent/partner is regulated and the other isn’t. If intervention is necessary make sure it’s about compassion rather than accusing the partner of messing up. What Gobbel has learned from working with parents, children and families: When curiosity and compassion open up, ability to repair greatly increases Steve Finn and moving from shame to guilt; shame is inherent in complex trauma Structured Nurture and finding the right balance
30:00-45:00 Importance of ability to depersonalize, particularly as a parent, in order to have delight around your children Understanding and how to best employ “scaffolding” in yourself and with your children Wrap Up
Resources http://amzn.to/2mDQjJ7 (It’s Not You But What Happened to You ) by Chrisitine Courtois http://amzn.to/2D9Ok65 (Treating Complex Trauma a Sequenced Relationship-based Approach) By Christine Courtois Julian Ford http://amzn.to/2DcEKPQ (Creative Therapies for Complex Trauma Helping Children and Families in Foster Care, Kinship Care or Adoption) Edited by Joy Hasler and Anthea Hendry Contact Robyn: http://centraltexasattachmenttrauma.com/ (http://centraltexasattachmenttrauma.com/) https://www.gobbelcounseling.com/ (https://www.gobbelcounseling.com/) https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.therapistuncensored.com%2Ftu53%2F&via=austinshrinks (Tweet) Support this podcast
Use these neuroscience-backed techniques to conquer your anxiety and depression with a few simple yoga and mindfulness principles. This podcast will teach you how combining movement, rhythm and sound as well as practicing mindfulness can allow for a calm alertness and tackle everyday life. Psychotherapist and Yoga Instructor Kelly Inselmann joins Dr. Ann Kelley in an extensive discussion about tapping into your body and gaining a better understanding and awareness of it to ultimately improve your mental health. This podcast is paired with a bonus episode, a 12-minute track of a high-quality mediation specifically for you, our listeners. Thank you Kelly for this offering! https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu52-bonus/ (Click here to hear that Bonus Meditation).
Who is Kelly Inselmann:
Kelly is a psychotherapist and yoga instructor in Austin, TX, and Sue is super-thrilled she’s also a Certified Group Psychotherapist. Kelly studies and teaches kundalini yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan. She began her study of yoga 25 years ago and is certified as a yoga teacher at the highest level (500 hours). She continues to actively study with senior teachers throughout the country. She is a certified yoga therapist through the International Association of Yoga Therapists.
0:00-15:00 Introduction (you may want to start w/ the bonus track first) Mindfulness and coming into the present moment Yoga practices and meditation as being tools for consciousness and learning to be with yourself Principles of Kundalini Yoga: movement, rhythm & sound Saying a mantra out loud gets your circulation moving and balances your hemispheres Combination of meditation and movement, experience of yoga works through bilateral stimulation, soothing the amygdule How Kelly integrated Kundalini yoga into her life and practice Efficiency of Kundalini yoga Importance of choosing the right yoga class and teacher Essentials of yoga 15:00-30:00 Yoga allowing for a full body experience Getting in tune with your body and recognizing limits allows for neuro-plasticity in the brain and increases capacity to endure discomfort Effects of integration, particularly through bilateral stimulation Alternate nostril breathing creates a relaxation effect and energy alternatively: a calm alert Achieving clarity in your mind and more awareness about your body Impact of yoga on brain development: increased grey matter in cortex, hippocampus Creation of new neural pathways, increasing neural pathways allows for mental and physical regulation Importance of mantra for later recollection to cue self. Using a mantra to bring your whole system to a calmer place. 30:00-45:00 Importance of connecting to group not only in therapy but in yoga as well Integrating yoga and meditation just twenty minutes a day at home could have an extremely beneficial outcome Meditation is easier when moving because it releases tensions and transitions into a state of relaxation, allows you to get in touch with your breathing Effect of yoga in aging and mental decline: lowered inflammation in the body and improved memory Wrap up
Resources: http://yogaandtalk.com/ (Yoga and Talk), Integrating Yoga and Psychotherapy – Kelly Inselmann http://www.kellyinselmann.com/ (Joy Boots for Cancer Survivors) – Kelly Inselmann http://amzn.to/2CxfdAB (Trauma Sensitive Yogo in Therapy: Bringing the Body Into Treatment) by David Emerson http://amzn.to/2CMpsFr (Overcoming Trauma Through Yoga: Reclaiming your body) by David Emerson ... Support this podcast
Neuroscience tells us that learning to manage our arousal through practice benefits our minds and body very quickly. We wouldn’t be doing this right if we weren’t offering practical strategies.
This is a bonus episode designed to go with Episode 52 – but what’s super cool is that this one is a straight 12-minute mindfulness meditation lead by yoga master and psychotherapist, Kelly Inselmann. Used to meditating? Great you’ll love it. Never done it? Great let’s try it, no time like the present! Don’t worry, Kelly’s voice isn’t irritatingly soft and woo-woo. She knows her stuff.
Afterwards check out the traditional podcast format in the companion Episode 52, https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu-52/ (Mindfulness, Movement and Yoga to Manage Arousal, with Kelly Inselmann). Who is Kelly Inselmann: Kelly is a psychotherapist and yoga instructor in Austin, TX. She studies and teaches kundalini yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan. She began her study of yoga 25 years ago and is certified as a yoga teacher at the highest level (500 hours). She continues to actively study with senior teachers throughout the country. She is a certified yoga therapist through the International Association of Yoga Therapists.
Resources: http://yogaandtalk.com/ (Yoga and Talk), Integrating Yoga and Psychotherapy – Kelly Inselmann http://www.kellyinselmann.com/ (Joy Boots for Cancer Survivors) – Kelly Inselmann http://amzn.to/2CxfdAB (Trauma Sensitive Yogo in Therapy Bringing the Body Into Treatment) by David Emerson http://amzn.to/2CMpsFr (Overcoming trauma through yoga Reclaiming your body) by David Emerson
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Shame, the good, the bad and the ugly! In this podcast, learn how to recognize the various forms of shame and how guilt can be an antidote to this pit in the stomach feeling. Sue Marriott, Dr. Ann Kelley and guest Dr. Stephen Finn engage in a wide-ranging discussion about the least favorite feeling in most people – the collapsed feeling of shame! It is more complicated than you think. Shamelessness and debilitating shame are both toxic and yet there is a version of these feeling that is quite healthy. Listen as we discuss the contemporary research and the biology of this emotion and practical implications for your everyday life. Listen to the end to find out if you are a dandelion or an orchid. Who is Steve Finn: Stephen Finn is a psychologist in private practice in Austin, TX and a Clinical Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. He is known for developing Therapeutic Assessment, a brief psychological intervention that combines psychological testing and psychotherapy. He lectures around the world on Therapeutic Assessment and other topics, including—in recent years—shame. If you like this kind of content you’ll enjoy https://www.therapistuncensored.com/self-compassion-dr-kristin-neff/ (Episode 23, Self-Compassion with Kristin Neff) Want more like this? Check out our free YouTube video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PF7g4K8fDvo (Modern Adult Attachment 101) to learn more – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PF7g4K8fDvo 0:00-15:00 Intro Stephen Finn’s initial interest in shame Defining shame, differentiating shame from guilt Barrier experience, shame can become a central part of personality in some people Guilt is a developmental achievement and is appropriate in certain circumstances. Doing something bad rather than being bad, this it’s not hopeless. Some shame is good – healthy shame indicates capacity for empathy. Shame is a necessary social adhesive and social conditioning required for living in groups. Lack of guilt in psychopaths Problem of having too much shame or getting caught up in shame. Developing trait shame. If normal emotions have been shamed (particularly by parents to their developing children), this can occur. This can also result from emotional neglect; misconstruing being unloved as being un-loveable. 15:00-30:00 Problem of parents with cell phones fueling neglect at an early age. Still face experiment and instilling shame through lack of expression – (see resources for link it’s very interesting) Relationship between having a conscience and shame Shaming and repairing is healthy, never shaming is not. Guilt is really healthy shame. Physical effect of shame and biology. In order to get over hidden shame, you need to expose it to safe people. Shame can only be healed interpersonally. Different cultures social constructions of shame. Importance of overcoming hesitation or anxiety of punishment from sharing shame. 30:00-45:00 Experiences of sharing shame in group. Importance of sharing shame in group. Complication of therapist feeling need to relate or there’s no need to feel shamed when its one on one. Joining in sharing shame is very powerful tool. Couples and understanding or dismissing shame. Connecting right brain to right brain. Getting people to transition from shame to guilt What does repair actually look like? The journey from shame to guilt is recognizing its something you did, not something you are. 45:00-57:00 Idea of narcissism freeing others up from shame, especially in a relationship. Need to go from shame to guilt, not shamelessness. Importance of “me too” in terms of diminishing shame. Emphasis on shame in Japan and link to high rates of suicide. Orchid and... Support this podcast
Learn what goes on inside the mind of a successful entrepreneur and bring to life your own dormant projects! Kristina ‘Z’ Holly, curator and host of first ever TEDx, as well as the founder of the podcast, “http://artofmfg.com/ (The Art of Manufacturing),” joins our own Dr. Ann Kelley to delve into the mind and personality of an entrepreneur. Through her podcast, Z speaks in-depth with inspiring and successful entrepreneurs and shares wisdom and insights about this population. Discover how risk, reasoning, and cognitive biases work towards entrepreneurial decision-making. The benefits of gaining the resilience that comes after failure is discussed, as well as how to use extroversion and open-mindedness to actually increase your own “luck” and ability to actualize your ideas. Krisztina ‘Z’ Holly is a MIT-trained engineer, tech entrepreneur and startup wizard. She has served as Vice Provost for Innovation at USC and has been an advisor to dozens of companies and organizations, including the World Economic Forum and the Obama Administration. In addition to her podcast, Z is also the Founder and Chief Instigator for LA Mayor Garcetti’s MAKE IT IN LA initiative. 0:00-15:00 Personalities of Entrepreneurs Effectual Reasoning, Risk Taking, Cognitive Biases Stereotype of power and selfishness, versus the drive to make a positive impact as an entrepreneur, specific examples Average age of entrepreneur is 40s, not 20s. 15:00-30:00 Importance of partnerships and interdependence Starting TEDx Key to making impact sometimes is to recognize what you’re willing to give up Risk Taking & Risk Aversion Comparison of entrepreneurs and parents “Trough of Sorrow” Working in groups to start projects are more likely to be successful (up to 5) Holding the mission above the brand, entrepreneurship as a helping profession 30:00-45:00 Using importance of mission to counteract knee jerk human reaction to take ownership How does entrepreneur personality play out in relationships? Examples of entrepreneurs who are driven by fanaticism Sense of responsibility for business comparable to that of parent for child Reality of what it takes to be an entrepreneur Drive for money versus something more Learning from failure vs. learning from success. Learn from resilience after failure, not failure itself. Push comfort zone every day. 45:00-55:00 Different types of entrepreneur personalities? Internal locus of control in entrepreneur Richard Weisman luck study – you can cultivate your own luck through openness to experience and extroversion. Those self-described as lucky were much more likely to get answer correctly (they were open to new information and new input). Entrepreneurs fit into category of those who make their own luck. Internal locus of control about affecting world if you intake its information. Entrepreneurs have world view in a way that they can affect the world. Wrap Up & Outro
Resources for this episode: http://artofmfg.com/ (The Art of Manufacturing Podcast) https://makeitinla.org/ (MAKE IT IN LA) Richard Wiseman, http://richardwiseman.com/resources/The_Luck_Factor.pdf (The Luck Factor), Skeptical Inquirer, May/June 2003 https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/our-gender-ourselves/201312/successful-entrepreneurs-6-key-qualities (6 Key Qualities for Entrepreneurs.) https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/269883 (5 Biggest Hurdles to Entrenpreneurship) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (OUR PACKED RESOURCE PAGE IN GENERAL CLICK HERE! ) Heads up for our listeners who love to keep on learning all kinds of cool useful not fluffy stuff! Like this... Support this podcast
Become a master not a disaster at relationships! In this episode we provide some quick tips to help you regulate emotions in yourself and others. Deepen your skills at deciphering these things we call feelings (ack!) and learn how to use this information to co-regulate yourself and those close to you. What happens when we’re suddenly overcome with emotions? In this episode, Ann Kelley, Ph.D. and Sue Marriott, LCSW, CGP discuss five tips to internally and externally regulate your emotions when things get too much. You’ll learn how communicating in certain ways and even acting counter-intuitively to your instincts can be the best way towards healthy emotional regulation. 0:00-10:00 Emotional regulation is NOT about just being nice or suppressing your emotions Defining “stonewalling” – refusing to address someone and what’s being asked to talk about. Stonewalling happens when someone is flooded with emotions and they mentally check out. Stonewalling is actually a form of dysregulation Polyvagal Theory What happens when we have too strong of emotions? 1) Identify what’s going on internally and externally – In yourself and in other people. Feel physically where you’re feeling the intensity in your body. 2) Accept it; this is what it is. Taking a pause instead of reacting in a physical way. 10:00-20:00 3) Respond. Response rather than react. Thinking and moving for yourself rather than moving to impact the world. Recognize the emotion as transient. Dialectical behavior therapy Taking impulses to act from anger, sadness and anxiety and redirecting them into the opposite action. Those impulses are based on survival instincts. If you’re angry, contain rather than attack. If you’re sad, just sit with your partner rather than withdraw. If you’re anxious, carefully approach rather than hold back. Analogy of Russian Dolls: Let the big one take the wheel, don’t let the little ones get dysregulated and drive. 20:00-28:00 Problem of inferring from words not said rather than words that are said. Even as adults we need to “use our words”. No matter what if you can, move towards social engagement as soon as you can. It’s way better. 🙂 4) Put thoughts and feelings into words rather than actions Differentiating between communicating to assert your emotions versus communicating from a truly open place. Example of “Where’ve you been?” vs. “I’ve been nervous about where you are and it’s made me anxious.” 5) Don’t forget to amplify positivity in your relationship in general. Engage in positive activities and words daily. In conflict, use your mind to remember and imagine positivity between you, either from the past or hours after a conflict is imagined to be resolved. This reminds you that you are with a safe person. Connect before you correct. Use positivity and humor to bring yourself back to the center Wrap up. Like this and want to hear more? http://www.therapistuncencored.com/ (Join our email list here), subscribe to https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/therapist-uncensored-podcast/id1146941306?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 (Tunes here) or sign up for the waiting list for our free online course on https://www.eventbrite.com/e/understanding-modern-adult-attachment-the-updated-basics-free-course-tickets-35897139310 (Modern Adult Attachment) here! We may read your review on air, please rate and review us on your favorite podcast player, it helps so much!! Finally – this is the easiest of all – https://www.facebook.com/austinshrinks/ (“Like” our Support this podcast
MeToo flips power on it’s head, but in so doing has also caused strife within good relationships and high tension and some polarization across the gender divide.
Women are taking their abuse and assault stories out from hiding. They are using their collective voice to mobilize and they are Telling Their Stories. The power and safety of strength in numbers, #MeToo social media phenomenon, has unleashed a flood of sharing as-yet unheard stories of a wide variety of unwanted intrusions. In this episode we explore the tensions felt by both men and women in their discussions around coming out about sexual harassment and assault, and explore strategies for increasing understanding and connection between people who identify as men and women. Co-hosts Ann Kelley, PhD and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP join special guest, Mason Marriott-Voss in a discussion on sexual harassment, the power flip against men in power, and the uncertainty many men now face in acting appropriately around women. Mason shares his views as a cis straight white man and ventures to suggest how men might engage with the women in their lives affected by unwanted sexual pursuit and objectification. We also discuss how men can work towards being more accurate listeners and assume a more vulnerable role in the dialogues surrounding sexual harassment today. We get into the biological implications of physical threat and how that varies between men and women and how this affects their ability to empathize. We also offer suggestions for how to avoid getting defensive and instead engage in these dialogues in a respectful, open and understanding way. Mason Marriott-Voss is a University of Texas student, the state of Texas debate champion and award-winning advocate for GLBTQ families. Can you guess who’s offspring he is? We sincerely thank this brave, young leader for being on our show! Like this and want to hear more? http://www.therapistuncencored.com/ (Join our email list here), subscribe to https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/therapist-uncensored-podcast/id1146941306?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 (Tunes here) or sign up for the waiting list for our free online course on https://www.eventbrite.com/e/understanding-modern-adult-attachment-the-updated-basics-free-course-tickets-35897139310 (Modern Adult Attachment) here! We may read your review on air, please rate and review us on your favorite podcast player, it helps so much!!Finally – this is the easiest of all – https://www.facebook.com/austinshrinks/ (“Like” our public Facebook page here) to get updated popular articles on these subjects of interest.0:00-15:00 Introduction, joining the dialogue on sexual harassment, assault, and the media Avoiding conflict when engaging in this widespread discussion amongst people who identify in different group Countering the idea of #NotAllMen in a sense of being complicit within system. Complications of #NotAllMen when it comes to trans identifying men. Comparing sexual assault to bullying in terms of power differentials Tendency of men to have a desire to defend in a “not me” type way…if you’re not that and this is as widespread a problem as it is, who IS that? How to have this conversation as a man and acknowledge the power differential, trying to avoid talking about this dialogue in an overly analytical way, not recognizing physical fear women feel. Speaking on an interpersonal level without having comparable experience. Recognizing as men that you don’t understand.
15:00-30:00 The idea of heterosexual men experiencing discomfort at thought of being checked out by a homosexual man. Is it a comparable experience if the physical threat isn’t as... Support this podcast
Let’s get real about not being a perfect parent or partner so we can do both better! Regulation before reflection! We were so excited about https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu27_tina_payne_bryson/ (our first interview with NYT best-selling author Tina Payne Bryson) that for the first time we are bringing a guest back for a second interview! Sue Marriott, co-host of Therapist Uncensored and Dr. Payne-Bryson get real about parenting when you don’t have a secure background yourself. They cover constructing a coherent narrative and why that’s not really enough, and what needs to be added to the equation. They also get into what healthy integration means and how it helps us navigate under stress and in the heat of an argument. They lay out the grief process in relation to our own parents and how that can open up possibilities of mending old ruptures and creating new growth. Finally they really get into the role of the body over the mind in creating the bottom line, a healthy regulation of self to help others. See Tina live Nov 3-4, 2017 here in Austin! https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-whole-brain-child-how-mindsight-discipline-and-relationships-build-the-brain-with-dr-tina-payne-tickets-36362127101 (Friday night event, short lecture for the public, )parents, educators and clients interested in what should have happened growing up. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-whole-brain-approach-for-clinicians-integrating-the-brain-and-regulating-the-nervous-system-tickets-36363058888 (Saturday clinical conference). Who is http://www.tinabryson.com/ (Tina Payne Bryson)? She is co-author with Dr. Dan Siegel of The Whole Child Brain, The Yes Brain and No-Drama Discipline and founder of The Center for Connection in Pasadena. Dr. Bryson keynotes conferences for parents, educators, and clinicians all over the world, and she has written for numerous publications such as http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/blogs/if-i-had-bad-parents-will-i-be-bad-parent-too (the PBS series “This Emotional Life.”) She makes frequent media appearances at venues like TIME, “Good Morning America,” Huffington Post, Redbook, The New York Times, and Real Simple. She is the Child Development Specialist at Saint Mark’s School in Altadena, the Director of Parenting Education at the Mindsight Institute, the Director for Child Development for Camp Chippewa in Cass Lake, Minnesota, and the Child Development Director for Lantern Camps. Listen to the first one, https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu27_tina_payne_bryson/ (Episode 27 Raising Secure Children) Like this and want to hear more? http://www.therapistuncencored.com/ (Join our email list here), subscribe to https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/therapist-uncensored-podcast/id1146941306?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 (Tunes here) or sign up for the waiting list for our free online course on https://www.eventbrite.com/e/understanding-modern-adult-attachment-the-updated-basics-free-course-tickets-35897139310 (Modern Adult Attachment) here! We may read your review on air, please rate and review us on your favorite podcast player, it helps so much!!Finally – this is the easiest of all – https://www.facebook.com/austinshrinks/ (“Like” our public Facebook page here) to get updated popular articles on these subjects of interest.0:00 – 15:00 Intro Tina’s current interests are essentially any and everything that comes back to regulation and thinking about it in a bottom up orientation Attachment Creating a cohesive narrative begins with stabilizing a cohesive physical state in your body. Regulation needs to occur before... Support this podcast
Update your model of healthy relationships in the digital age and widen your perspective on the erotic, which is the difference between a relationship that just survives, and one that thrives! Guest Esther Perel shares her research on love, desire and infidelity in modern relationships. Patty Olwell, former co-host of Therapist Uncensored, returns for a meaningful conversation with Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity. In this episode they discuss concepts such as infidelity, consent and betrayal in the modern digital era. In addition, learn how sexual education differs in the United States versus Europe. Find out what the best way to handle the “crisis mode” of a betrayal in a relationship and how can we avert it by openly communicating early on. Also discover how we can cope with trauma within a relationship and how to make sense of the connection between love and desire. Thank you to Patty Olwell for this incredible interview! 0:00-15:00 Introduction, Esther’s study of love & desire, research in infidelity, definition of infidelity today Defining Infidelity: 1) Secret 2) Emotional Involvement to some degree 3) Sexual Aura Defining “cheating” traditionally and in the modern era of smart phones and social media: where do we draw the line? Contradictory feelings in crisis mode of relationship Important issues with betrayal trauma – 1) Ability of person who crossed the agreed upon relational lines to recognize the injury 2) Questions will keep returning and getting deeper and the inflictor will need to continue to manage and help the other person heal 3) Help decide if you really want details because you can’t unknow them once shared 15:00 – 30:00 Different types of couples -t hose with ability to empathize with the others through buffers, those who can understand accountability, those who can reconnect sexually, etc. Esther’s background growing up in community of Holocaust survivors. Idea of having survived versus being alive in couples and how that relates to eroticism. Curiosity and eroticism – engaging in trust into unknown. Must find balance of security and adventure. Esther’s research findings. Existential problem of love and desire relating but conflicting. Data-driven. Sex addiction as the “medicalization of affairs” Doug Braun-Harvey and out of control sexual behavior 30:00 – 45:00 While there are people with out of control sexual behavior, not everyone who has strayed from their relationship repeatedly has an “addiction.” Implications of 12-step program for those diagnosed with sex addiction. Just because a person has a problem doesn’t mean they have an addiction. When it becomes an excuse, it’s a problem. Pornography (or the use of sexually explicit imagery) as primary form of sexual education for those in the US versus starting education that emphasizes health and pleasure in Belgium starting at age 4. Educating for online adult images, relationships and responsibility at an early age. Emotional intelligence and empathy in the digital age. In the US: sex is risk factor. In Europe: irresponsibility is risk factor. Messages from Esther as a non-US citizen: treat issues globally; troubles are not that different. Don’t be afraid to collaborate with fellow therapists. Psychotherapists shouldn’t be recluse in their offices but should feel welcome to bring psychotherapy to the public sphere. 45:00 – 60:00 Exclusivity. Making couples have difficult conversations for the... Support this podcast
Not only does Bob Schneider (professional musician and wicked Creative) share his navigation of emotion as he writes music, in this in-depth conversation he also shares personal information about his therapy and recovery with Sue Marriott. He goes on to describe mediocre versus great therapy, how to train your critical brain like your dog, and taking in tons of information like a whale and spitting out “song turds” from his unconscious. Blending anecdotal stories, neuroscience and attachment theory, this interview both entertains and educates. This is a soft Part 2 to our previous Episode 44: https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu44/ (Your Brain on Music, How Music Affects Your Mind, Memory and Happiness.) If you like this you’ll like that! Bonus section: Sue discusses and you get to hear an extended excerpt of Schneider’s song, “Let the Light In” from an attachment perspective at the end of this episode so stay tuned….
About Bob Schneider: He has won more Austin Music Awards than any other musician, including Best Songwriter, Best Funk Band, Best Bluegrass Band, Best Alternative/Punk Band, Best Musician, Best None of the Above Band J, Best Male Vocals and of course Musician of the Year too many times to count. Let’s be clear, this does not complete his awards list. He’s also an artist and poet aka Wicked Creative, as you can tell he’s an Austin legend. But as you’ll hear in the intro song, “you can call him Bob.”
Batman (Live at the Paramount) and Ready Let’s Roll (King Kong) excerpts before and after intro. 2:45 – Bob’s process of song writing and performing when he writes, identify the moment when something pings emotionally and keep heading in that direction. Hot/cold game 4:35 – Left brain and right brain functions, top-bottom processing when creating music. The unexpected is what makes music compelling. Specific feelings of excitement when experiencing something you haven’t experienced before. 7:30 – Music allows you to process life experiences or interpret internal thoughts 11:15 – Excitement comes from the unexpected because our brains as anticipation machines. Oxytocin discussed. Sober song writing. Mindfulness – Just write! 20:50 – Trying to write something profound will prevent you from doing so. Just let the creative part of you do what it wants to do, splash paint etc. Bob believes it’s an amalgamation of everything we’ve sucked in, he’s a whale spitting out song turds. J 23:45 – Bob’s shares his drive to keep writing. Dissociation from feelings and engaging sensitivity in the world. 28:30 – Very personal story of baby by the gutter as a “coherent narrative,” an outcome of self-acceptance and acceptance of others. Mediocre therapists versus fantastic therapists. Acceptance of our imperfections in relationships, goal for those who were raised in less-than-stellar household environments. 36:00 – Bob’s songs: “The Effect”, “The World Exploded Into Love”, “Changing Your Mind” 38:42 – Focus on your self-relationship above everything else. “Stay on your own postage stamp.” Bob shares his experience in therapy. Group therapy allows for side mirrors and references that make you more understanding that these are shared human experiences. In Bob’s experience, group therapy allowed him to grow up from immature emotional reactions. 49:34 – Beginning of wrap up. Bob’s 17-year Monday night residency continues at the Saxon Pub 8:30pm-10:00pm. 51:20 – “Big Blue Sea” and “Let the Light In” Bob’s music shows his emotions, but might not lyrically be based in reality. 1:01:09 – Bonus Episode discussing his song, Let the Light In (Radio Edit), from an attachment perspective. Extended excerpt plays(but you gotta listen to the whole song it’s awesome!) Phew that was FUN! (All music played w/ permission... Support this podcast
Learn how to use music to improve brain health, manage mood, increase relational happiness and get tips on how to build neural plasticity through this art. Remember, it’s not just cotton candy for the ears! Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott discuss the deeper meaning behind people’s responses to music on the brain, and how music affects happiness and mood. How can we purposely manipulate our mood with tunes and lyrics in terms of motivation, distraction, synchronicity and stimulation? How is music a form of social architecture and how do we interact with it individually and as a whole? You’ll learn how specific music choices can directly impact relationships, emotional state and overall mental health. This is a soft part 1 to Episode 45, so you will likely want to check out our interview with https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu-45/ (Austin Music Legend Bob Schneider as he talks about the creative process music and emotion here)! 0:23 – Bodily reaction to “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen. Thinking of music as social architecture for the brain rather than “cotton candy for the ears” or just entertainment. 1:26 – Response to music on the brain can be considered an extreme version of “neural wi-fi”. How do we use music to get what we want? 1:54 – How music affects the brain. Auditory cortex, motor cortex, memory, right brain experience are all activated by music. Different responses from music we like vs. music we don’t like. 3:08 – Lou Cozolino: When default mode network is activated, that is deeply reflective mental state (meditation, etc.), which in turn is good for mental health. Music that we like/dislike activates/deactivates the default mode network. 4:24 – Human and songbird study: Music creating limericks of love for human stimulates similar response for mating calls in songbirds. 5:23 – Workout music as basis/distraction for motor movement 5:38 –David Levinson (Your Brain on Music) and his study on how we use music. Compared families who played music together versus those who didn’t. When you play music out loud in the same room, your relationship becomes stronger. You sit closer, you spend more time together, and 2/3 more sex. 6:55 – Recommendation about music as social architecture: Get a cheap Bluetooth speaker for your home! 7:53 – Psychology of listening to music in humans. Primal gathering, problem resolving, protest music, cultural change and lullaby. Psychology of lullaby as regulating both mother and child’s mental state through right brain activation. 10:52 – Bodily response to “Amazing Grace” by Straight No Chaser. Sense of awe can be extrapolated from prolactin processing sorrow. 12:56 – Bodily response to “Long Ride Home “ by Patty Griffin. Simultaneous processing of music and lyrics. Humans are wired to hear stories. 13:58 – Synching up with the rhythm of the music in our minds just like synching up moods. Idea of synching up when losing a musical artist, e.g. Prince. Narrative songwriting synchs up with our emotional and analytical parts of brain. 15:50 – Part of what makes a hit song is the unexpected element since brains are anticipation machines. 17:00 – USC research on “chills” to music finds that in terms of responses to music, there are more dense fibers from the auditory system to the emotional processing system in people who get chills from music. 17:57 – How music affects motivation and Ann’s emotional response to “Gonna Fly Now” by Bill Conti. Auditory stimulation and subsequent memory of visual response to Rocky as example of social architecture. You can manipulate your mood intentionally through music 22:16 – Anticipation and dopamine of unpredictable music selections. Random music of your favorites affects your mood state the whole time. 23:40 – You can link a favorite song to a memory, but if you listen to the song again and again, you’ll link it to new memories. If you keep that song in a private space and preserve it, you’ll preserve the memory. 24:37 – Cultural effects... Support this podcast
(PART 2 of 2) Add pleasure back in to the conversation about healthy sex and the whole conversation changes! This is the second half of a conversation with Doug Braun-Harvey, co-author of http://amzn.to/2xLUYjW (Treating Out of Control Sexual Behavior, Rethinking Sex Addiction ), where psychotherapists Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott continue to discuss the six principles of sexual health as defined by Doug Braun-Harvey. If you missed the first episode https://www.therapistuncensored.com/therapist-uncensored-season-2-sexual-vitality-new-conversation-sexual-health-doug-braun-harvey-part-1-2-sexual-debut-vs-losing-virginity-wow-fun-2/ (hear it here: Part 1) How do shared values, honesty and pleasure work into having a healthy sexual life? How do we think of sex addiction and compulsivity as a disease rather than a common problem? How do people individually have to determine if their sexual behavior is out of control? 0:00 – Intro & Recap 1:15 – Distinguishing desire discrepancy and sex frequency. Having sex can actually lead to more desire after the fact. 2:39 – Sexual Health Principle: Honesty 3:03 – There is correlation between anti-masturbation attitudes and lack of knowledge about bodily responses. Parenting tip about honesty: Respond in a way that shows you’re grateful that you’re child is asking you and glad that they’re honest with you. This will make them a better partner in the future. 5:38 – Sexual Health Principle: Shared Values. Shared values = making sure we understand the meaning of sex, even in a case-by-case basis. 8:45 – Sexual Health Principle: Pleasure. 2011 definition of sexual health from the US Government removes the word “pleasure”. 12:18 – If you don’t let children know that you know sex is supposed to feel good, you’ll appear ignorant. Incorporating the concept of pleasure in dialogue with not only your child, but with partners. Remove shame from pleasure. 15:43 – Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life – Emily Nagoski 16:30 – Sex Addiction: Where can pleasure go wrong? Sex addiction became a popular conceptualization in the 1980s and was coupled with alcoholism and the advent of HIV. Idea that we cross a threshold into a way of functioning (addiction) and then can’t go back became commonplace thinking. Dialogue about pain of sex rather than pleasure. 21:00 – In the US, certified sex addiction therapists are not certified sex therapists. Sex addiction model is a trauma-focused model. Questioning the idea that something physiologically, psychologically has lead us into this disorder state. Instead thinking of it as a human problem rather than a disease. 23:00 – Braun-Harvey’s definition of out of control sexual behavior: When a person’s sexual urges, thoughts or behaviors feel out of control for them. 24:30 – Often dialogue about out of control sexual behavior comes after a period of secrecy. This can conflict with shared values. 26:00 – Example of a 20-year marriage in a non-sexual relationship. Husband is masturbating frequently, is discovered, and subsequently treated for sex addiction. Instead this is not a behavior to be overly concerned about. It’s consensual solo sex. 28:00 – Construction of sexual imagery as exploitative can lead to arguments. People individually need to determine when imagery becomes exploitive. Interpretation to case: After values conflict surrounding sexual imagery as exploitative or not, they both expressed that they had pleasure from experience and got to know each other better. Sharing who you are erotically is a great way to get to know your partner. 32:50 – Violating values. Idea of being compulsive or... Support this podcast
Add pleasure back in to the conversation about healthy sex and the whole conversation changes! In this very sexy conversation (earphones around little kids are good idea for this one!), we talk about the balance between pleasure and safety as a way to think of sexual health. “Sexual debut” vs losing our virginity… wow, how fun is that shift in thinking, for example? This is the first half of an extended conversation with Doug Braun-Harvey, co-author of Treating Out of Control Sexual Behavior, Rethinking Sex Addiction, where Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott discuss two of the six principles of sexual health as defined by Braun-Harvey. The following episode, Part 2, will cover the other 4! 0:00 – Intro 2:10 – Conception and construction of sexual health. How has sexual health been traditionally viewed and why has it typically been linked with fear/harm rather than pleasure? 3:45 – Move towards more balance of pleasure and safety when talking about sexual health 4:25 – Conversations about masturbation and pleasure with teenagers. 6:00 – Construction of pleasure as self-absorption vs. getting in tune with your own desires and setting natural boundaries. 7:10 – Sex therapy as discovering internal regulators so pleasure can be had. Most everyone has naturally occurring boundaries, they may have just not tapped into them yet when controlling their desire for pleasure. 8:36 – Outdated construction of sexual health prior to mid-1970s which focused primarily on no unplanned/unwanted pregnancy and no STIs. 9:26 – World Health Organization’s new definition of sexual health: Not just about having a disease, more about tension between parameters of sex around safety, respect and basic human conduct. 11:40 – Sexual Rights: 16 sexual rights added by the WHO 12:12 – Six Principles of Sexual Health: 1) Consent, 2) Non-Exploitation, 3) Protection from STIs and Unwanted Pregnancy, 4) Honesty, 5) Shared Value and 6) Pleasure. 15:15 – 1st Principle of Sexual Health: Consent 16:23 – Age of Consent 17:40 – Legal Definitions of Age of Consent 19:47 – Sex Drug-Linked Behavior 20:20 – Link between alcohol and sex 21:00 – Language of “making a sexual debut” versus “losing virginity” 22:20 – Most debated sexual value: when and how a person can make their sexual debut 24:30 – Difficulty in parents communicating with their children about making their sexual debut 25:44 – Introducing language and idea of consent at an early age 29:30 – Second Principle of Sexual Health: Non-Exploitation 30:52 – Exploitation in Adolescents, in relationship, in infidelity, power imbalance 36:00 – Language of “Sexual Images” rather than “Pornography” and cultural bias/norms associations with that 37:09 – What’s embedded in “infidelity”? 37:49 – Idea of a Sexual Agreement 39:02 – Withholding erotic turn-ons from partner vs. sharing them with partner 41:42 – Anecdote that relates eroticism to falling in love again 42:53 – Pain of losing love due to misunderstood sexual interests 43:43 – Consent and Exploitation in the home 45:31 – Non-Exploitation through make up sex 46:04 – Desire Discrepancy Want more podcasts like this or a way to discuss this episode? Dive right in and join our private online community of “neuronerds” on FB by https://www.therapistuncensored.com/ (joining or email list here). Please go straight to https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu-43-sexual-vitality-part-2/ (Part 2 of this interview here). Also hear a later, related podcast that refers to this one, anhttps://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu-46/ ( interview with Esther Perel on Infidelity, Love and Desire here). As if that’s not already enough… Even more resources here: http://amzn.to/2xLUYjW (Treating Out of Control Sexual Behavior, Rethinking Sex Addiction )by Doug Braun-Harvey http://amzn.to/2fwhNgP (Sexual Health and Recovery A Professional Counselors Manual), by Doug Braun-Harvey http://www.theharveyinstitute.com/... Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:The Dark Side Of Therapy: Recognizing When The Therapeutic Relationship Goes BadShow NoteQueue Darth Vader music… we admit it, not all therapy is good therapy. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott discuss the potential negatives in the therapeutic relationship – focusing on how a client might distinguish between good therapy, that’s tough at times and a genuinely dysfunctional relationship. The difference between healthy dependency and one that erodes your sense of self is unpacked, as well as the idea of safe vulnerability that leads to change. Finally, they name the truth that one can feel held hostage by the therapist and the darker more harmful effects that can happen when therapy goes bad. Timeline 0:00 – Intro/Podcast Conference 2:48 – Recap on Episode 39 Therapeutic Relationship 3:41 – Introduction to dark side of therapy 4:12 – Types of discredited therapies: Conversion Therapy (coercive therapy that intends to change someone’s sexual orientation) Good therapy intends to assist self-exploration and colorful self expression 5:16 – Repressed memory therapy – Not helpful therapy and has potential to have traumatic outcomes. 6:12 – Sometimes therapists abuse role in exploitative way – Make sure your therapist is licensed and accredited 7:17 – What is good therapy that is hard and what is a dysfunctional relationship? It can be hard to tell the difference. Those who have experienced relational injuries and then begin to feel safe with the therapeutic relationship might feel unsafe and begin to evoke and enact what they need help healing. Therapists want to help you listen to your gut. 10:12 – Go for the connection in the therapeutic relationship and talk about relationships and attachment. Having a new experience where patient can unfold and be more themselves and be understood & recognized for who they are is in essence, therapy. Beginning to know what you think and feel already begins work on trauma. 11:51 – One of the dangers of working deeply especially with trauma is if it moves too quickly. Sometimes the patient can feel like they’re being held captive by the therapist or acting as a narcissistic extension of the therapist 12:47 – Narcissistic Extension – Therapists as humans have their own needs and desires to be helpful but the client can potentially feel need to satisfy and gain approval from therapist in power differential. 15:43 – Therapists are in a position to keep clients hostage through barring the door by making clients feel guilty or shamed for trying to leave – Therapists need to understand desire to leave and affirm right to do so. Exploration is good but guilt and shame is something else. Respect boundaries of patient. Allow them to explore the urge to leave or to act and leave. If it was wrong move they will figure that out and return on their own accord to you or someone else to resume. 22:12 – Sometimes clients can be difficult but this is healthy and normal. Discomfort directed at the therapist or expression of suicidal ideation can sometimes lead to a premature end to the therapeutic relationship. Therapist-initiated termination is a huge risk and always complicated and potentially harmful. 24:31 – Boundaries are important to talk about in the therapeutic relationship. No romance, sexuality or bargaining. Letting the boundaries slowly slip a little bit and eventually crossing the line can be extremely harmful to clients. Doing something like stopping a session on time despite making ground or even just collecting payment are healthy, loving professional acts in the relationship. 28:43 – Basic goal for patients in therapy: you should be getting better, not feel shamed intrinsically from relationship. One can expect positive, challenging, growth-enhancing language from therapist. 29:10 – Something to look... Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:Meditation And Neuroplasticity Provide a Path To Healing: An Interview With Sarah PeytonShow NotesPatty Olwell interviews Sarah Peyton, author of Your Resonant Self: Guided Meditations & Exercises to Engage Your Brain’s Capacity for Healing on the neuroscience of language and emotions. Their discussion covers Sarah’s background in non-violent communication and her more recent work with the impact of specific interventions and meditations to foster brain plasticity and empathy towards ourselves and others. They explore what kinds of language can we use that lets brains relax and move into a space of fluidity? How does this relate to healing from trauma? What kind of language do we use with ourselves to develop empathy? How do we develop an inner voice of understanding rather than self-criticism?
Timeline0:00 Intro 1:44 – What drew Sarah Peyton to this work – First non-violent communication (Marshall Rosenberg) Rosenberg weekend – first time hearing that use of language 3:51 – How non-violent communication works like therapy – a place where people listen rather than just try to problem solve – what happens when you use feeling words & how it changes the activity of the amygdala – (Matthew Lieberman) 4:40 – Matthew Lieberman study of facial expressions –when you accurately name the facial expression/emotions you’re seeing, the activity in the amygdala falls by half- people using language differently put Peyton into a space of fluidity (there is always an amygdala response to intense facial expressions) 5:29 – Daniel Siegel – Name it to tame it – Why does this work? 6:02 – What kinds of language do we use that lets brains relax and move into a space of fluidity? How does this relate to healing from trauma? How are brains impacted by trauma? Language as the neurotransmitters of human-ness – Verbal & nonverbal communication between two people 8:45 – Shift of focus from communication to brains – Daniel Siegel’s The Developing Mind, The Neurobiology of We 10:30 – How are we moved & changed by the words we use with one another? 12:00 – Dan Siegel’s contingent communication – how do our words reflect that we actually heard the other person? This quality comes through very subtly even in written communication 14:37 – Study of how Sarah Peyton used words with her children revealed the breaks & chasms between getting business of life done and having a relational connection 15:52 – What kind of language do we use with ourselves? Matthew Lieberman’s work with the default mode network. How do our minds think when there’s nothing else to process? When the brain is not directed towards something in particular, it reverses to default network. 18:07 – What is the automatic voice of our brain and can it be changed? 19:32 – Your Resonant Self: Guided Meditations & Exercises to Engage Your Brain’s Capacity for Healing – Speaking unkindly to yourself – Importance of warmth in language – Trauma impacts the default network – experiences of being alone create default networks that are trying to help us – How do we turn towards voice of understanding rather than self-critical voice? 22:31 – How to be precise with language: To be precise with what the feeling tone is. To be precise with what the deep longing is: survival, thriving, peace, room to grow, capacity to have your own timing, etc. Precision with what the timing of the trauma is – that the trauma is no longer happening – By using the past tense, the brain is using precision – What’s so upsetting is in the past and getting acknowledgment 25:01 – People often say yes most often when asked if they’re seeking acknowledgment for what happened in the past. Bonnie Badenoch’s study of Nepalese boy soldiers All boy soldiers had the same experience but the boys who went home to environments where they were received with welcome had much lower rates of PTSD than environment where they were excluded. It’s not what happens during the... Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:Getting What You Want From Therapy: The Essentials Of A Therapeutic RelationshipShow NotesDr. Ann Kelley, Sue Marriott & Patty Olwell chat about the importance of building a strong therapeutic relationship with clients. We’ll discuss how feelings of love, hate, disappointment, excitement and more between a therapist and a patient are not only normal, but even potentially essential to working towards healing. They break-down counter-transference and how mutual influence works to help clients grow. Timeline0:00-0:27 Intro Questions 0:27- Possibilities for Therapist-Client relationship (potential for harm from power differential in the relationship OR neural sculpting) – When choosing a therapist, be prepared to be changed by this new relationship. Therapists are permanently changed once attached to clients – mutual sculpting 1:53 –Old analytic model of psychotherapy – therapist as flat, neutral agent. Therapist actually can influence the client. Relationship as we know it now is not unidirectional – the most healing agent is the relationship in psychotherapy. 2:30 – How to pick a therapist – interview several 2:54 – What to do if you’re experiencing love, hate, disappointment, excitement, etc. in a relationship with your therapist The General Theory of Love – it’s normal to feel these feelings and it also may be essential to the healing agent 4:36 – Now that you understand these feelings are normal – what next? Talk about them with your therapist – express your feelings, then let process begin – However this experience may be regressive and if the therapist isn’t willing to help you may have to move on 6:44 – How to discern when emotional events are part of the therapeutic process of working through past trauma or when it’s harmful and retraumatizing Hope to have a different outcome than in the past – We can learn that we have difficult feelings or conflicts but it doesn’t have to end the relationship. It is possible to talk about and process these feelings with your therapist. 8:22 Discerning between healthy and unhealthy emotions in relationship Openness & willingness to talk through – Discomfort is part of journey towards healing 9:20 – Difference between feeling uncomfortable and actually being unsafe – Nesting Dolls – Problem of acting or thinking a certain way only around therapist versus outside the office 11:00 – Feeling safe, then feeling vulnerable when seeking advice in therapy 11:57 – Therapists need to follow the clients lead when someone comes in seeking career advice or a quick fix for a problem – If client isn’t ready or interested in deep processing we can move as quickly or as slowly as they need. 13:05 – Therapists want patients to find answer themselves, but often also want to be helpful – problem of giving/expecting advice 14:37 – Counter-transference – Therapists feelings get brought up – Therapy as an interpersonal dance 20:30 – Sue’s anecdote about the pay less price tag – compared to being in a family where you can’t name the embarrassing/traumatizing element in your life 22:31 – See therapist in a way that allows client to express emotions 27:00 – Empathy in therapists – don’t want to deny clients the power position in power differential 27:51 – As a client there’s a felt need to not have to take care of therapist in terms – expectation of a certain level of maturity, experience, intelligence, etc. ; have a bigger, stronger other that allows you to be “messy” 28:30 – How and why a boundary is important in a therapeutic relationship – need to feel safe – Frame (time, space, money) – Frame will not be broken 31:03 – Wrap up: All these thoughts & feelings are acceptable – Talk about them with therapist and if they can’t handle it then consider a new one – but first tell your therapist you’re frustrated and you’re looking for a new one, don’t just fire them – There’s a potential to deepen the relationship 33:10 –... Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:The Blended Family: How to Create Strong and Lasting Step-Family RelationshipsShow NotesThis episode breaks it down by debunking the most popular myths and giving specific do’s and don’ts to help you create secure long-lasting families no matter their origin. Blended Family MythsWicked stepmothers and red-headed step children – our psyche with the help of Disney often portrays step-families through a suspicious lens. However, only 23% of families are made up of two heterosexual biological parents in their first marriage. So called “weird” families such as blended, same-sex parents, adoption and foster, grandparents parenting, polyamorous and so on are the new normal. Adults living with biologically unrelated children have unique challenges, and in this episode we focus specifically on blended families. Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott discuss common myths as well as tips toward achieving a healthy blended family bond. We unpack the tensions that often emerge as two cultures come together and deliver practical solutions for how to avoid pitfalls and build a foundation that helps the process of reconstituting a new gaggle go smoother. Also, gender and developmental differences are discussed – you may be surprised that sons and daughters respond differently. Finally same-sex headed families are also discussed, the unique strethgs and challenges within these families. Hey glbtq – headed parents out there – don’t worry we totally have your back. We are all about it and are working on an entire episode on the beautiful and unique gifts of glbtq families coming to your podcast player soon. Timeline0:50 – Intro 2:27–Blended family 3:52–Myth 1 of Blended Families: Stepfamilies are not as healthy as “real” families. 5:50–Why children struggle more than those in first-marriage, intact families andhow to prevent it 7:26–Effect of divorce on children–socio-economic drop and severe change of routine should be prevented 8:34–Whatever you do, don’t mess with the mind of the child in how they see theother parent (ie.alter the child’s internalized image of the other parent). 9:50–Myth 2 of Blended Families: Stepfamilies break up more often and that is a bad thing 13:36–Myth 3 of Blended Families: Children who come from divorced and thenblended families will likely struggle in life. (All families have problems–step families are just more exposed and therefore vulnerable) 14:45–Difference between boys & girls transitions becoming stepchildren 17:00–Time helps everyone–How can we expedite the process of feeling like afamily and speed up the process? 17:50–When parent’s sense of fantasy and pressure to get it right and rushing the process leads to combustible outcomes. 18:50–Being around parents that are overtly affectionately in love can be difficult for children and may increase the tension within the child or between the child andparent/stepparent. Many times children haven’t seen parents fall in love 21:25–Idealized fantasy of second marriage & pressure to get it right the 2nd time around 22:23–Blending families = blending two cultures (Don’t try to create one united front) 27:50–Differences in administering discipline is a frequent source of conflict in blended families (Permissive parents vs. boundary-setting parents) 28:50–Don’t step into direct-disciplinary role for the first year as a step-parent. Working towards a non-polarized, firm, loving place where child still has boundaries 33:05–The more stuck a child gets in an outside position, more potentially damaging (Bio parent & step parent need to have empathy for child who might be shifted into an outside position) 38:12–Tip: Watch for losses and loyalty bonds and changes (Loss of parental attention is a major theme in step-children)... Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:Organizing The Disorganized: Understanding The Elusive Attachment CategoryShow Notes Disorganized attachment states of mind happen to us all. We temporarily get lost in a jumble and it’s difficult to track what is happening… but for some this is a more serious concern that can reflect much of how we feel much of the time. By popular request, we begin to unravel the last attachment category and update current thinking that includes those who have unresolved trauma, loss or have had caregivers who were frightening. Disorganized AttachmentIn this episode, Sue Marriott, Patty Olwell and Dr. Ann Kelley discuss this oft-overlooked fourth category; disorganized attachment and how it affects our adult lives. We go over it’s development and move to our current thinking on what it includes. We’ll talk about how attachment is formed as a survival skill and how loss, trauma and frightening caregivers transport individuals to disorganized spaces. Towards the end you’ll learn how relationships can provide safety and security in neurobiological terms, and how you can affect change for yourself or a loved one. Timeline0:00 -1:53 Intro 1:53 – 3:49 Quick review of attachment & underlying organized dynamics (Secure & Insecure) Insecure attachment (Insecure Preoccupied & Insecure Avoidant) 3:49 – 4:18 Data on attachment and historical figures (John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth, Mary Main) 4:18 – Attachment as biological imperative & cross cultural – everyone has an attachment system 4:59 Three distinct categories – The addition of the fourth distinct disorganized attachment category (The Strange Situation) 6:54 – The problem of disorganization in adults rather than children (update) – Applying data to real life individual people – Disorganization/attachment as a spectrum 7:59 – How can we begin to move towards the middle (secure) including the disorganized? 9:32 – Buckets instead of a category 10:19 – What does disorganized attachment look like in an adult? What does “unresolved” mean? Losing mentalization & context, disorganization in parents 11:59 – Frightening caregivers – Deborah Jacobvitz 12:51 – Moving unresolved into resolved space – Narrative coherence (resolved) Unresolved taking too much information forward so you can’t forget about the stress event or events bad (in the form of nightmares, intrusions, and pre-occupations) 15:03 Other side of unresolved – avoidance of incident/trauma 16:09 – Children with trauma don’t have narrative coherence – body remembers incident but it’s fragmented 17:09 = Clinicians that came in after Ainsworth Main and Bowlby – Patricia Crittenden (student of Ainsworth). Keeping the caregiver available. 20:09 – Finding an organized state balanced between thinking and feeling 21:00 – What to do in order to heal (developing trust is key to healing) 22:00 – Biology of attachment 23:00 – Free Online Course on Modern Adult Attachment coming soon, along with others that will include Advanced Studies – join the waiting list for the free course at www.therapistuncensored.eventbrite.com 25:47 – Outro Therapist Uncensored Online Course – Reserve your spot now!In addition if you enjoyed this, we will be providing much more from a synthesis of the latest and greatest ideas out there for intervention, prevention and clinical work for those of us that didn’t come by secure relating in the old-fashioned way, from parents. For those that are having to work to earn it or who treat people with attachment insecurities, we have an online course coming up soon. Email us at info@www.therapistuncensored.com to reserve... Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:The Neuroscience Of Psychotherapy: An Interview With Louis CozolinoYou may also be interest to hear an updated interview with https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu89/ (Lou Cozolino Neurofluency )Show NotesA fan devouring Dr Cozolino’s work Patty Olwell and Louis Cozolino have a wide-ranging discussion of interpersonal neurobiology and how it explains why good therapy works. They also use this lens to talk about why good teachers are effective. Finally, they touch on Cozolino’s current work around executive function and it’s importance in being a good manager. Why Psychotherapy WorksCozolino discusses how he views psychotherapy as a learning context where the therapist is trying to stimulate learning and change in the client. Neuroscience focuses on brain plasticity and what stimulates learning and change in the brain. As he studied both these interests he was struck by the realization that “psychotherapy had been guided by the invisible hand of neroplastic principles from the beginning”.These are just two different lenses to look at the same process. Common FactorsHe outlined four common factors that are necessary to foster neuroplasticity and effective therapy. Establishing a safe relationship – learning and change can only take place in safety. Mild to moderate stress – some stress fosters plasticity but beyond a certain threshold the brain systems that control change and learning shut down. Activation of thinking and feeling – you can’t think your way through therapy nor can you feel your way through therapy. He posits that integrating neural systems that are dedicated to the left side (biased toward cognition) and right side (biased toward emotion) of the brain is underlying the effectiveness of psychotherapy. Creating a new adaptive personal story – effective therapy creates a story that includes an explaination of what went wrong and an explanation of what you have to do to correct it and move toward health. Cozolino says the stories contain a memory for the future.
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Louis Cozolino:http://amzn.to/2sWBlnc (The Neuroscience of Psychotherapy: Healing the Social Brain (Third Edition) )(Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) 2017 Louis Cozolino: http://amzn.to/2v3q6Gd (The Neuroscience of Human Relationships: Attachment and the Developing Social Brain (Second Edition)) (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) 2014 Louis Cozolino: http://amzn.to/2sHd9kL (Attachment-Based Teaching: Creating a Tribal Classroom) (The Norton Series on the Social Neuroscience of Education) 2014 Louis Cozolino: http://amzn.to/2sH2oyH (Why Therapy Works: Using Our Minds to Change Our Brains )(Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) 2015 Louis Cozolino: http://amzn.to/2u01Mby (The Social Neuroscience of Education: Optimizing Attachment and Learning in the Classroom) (The Norton Series on the Social Neuroscience of Education) 2013 These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!)
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IN THIS EPISODE:Show NotesSexuality From A Neurobiological PerspectiveIn this episode, our guest is Dr. Alexandra Katehakis, Ph.D., LMFT, who is the Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles, California and author of Sex Addiction As Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment, co-author of the multiple award-winning Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence, contributing author to Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts, and author of Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot Healthy Sex While in Recovery From Sex Addiction. Dr. Katehakis’ and Dr. Kelley engage in a sex-positive discussion on how neurobiology, affect regulation and sexuality intersect and impact our ability to express ourselves fully throughout our lives. This podcast answers such questions as: How do we engage our kids in a positive, non-shaming way about their developing sexuality? How can the experience of shame around sexual experiences at an early age lead to sexual compulsivity? How do you talk with our sexual partner/s about needs, desires, fears and wants in order to have sexual lives rich with vitality and excitement? How do psychoneurobiology, sex and trauma relate to one another? How can people restore their sexuality to something that’s true and beautiful for them? How has the availability of internet pornography shaped our culture, our brains and our sexual expression? How does one recognize and treat the signs of sexual compulsivity and sex addiction? Sexual addiction is addressed as a non-shaming and hopeful conceptualization that promotes successful treatment and secure relating.
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: http://amzn.to/2tr5ydU (Affect Dysregulation and Disorders of the Self) Alan Schore http://amzn.to/2tmWTZT (Facing Recovery, Starting Relational and Sexual Recovery) Patrick Carnes http://amzn.to/2ukhMBN (Brainstorm the Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain) Dan Siegel http://centerforhealthysex.com/ (Center for Healthy Sex) Dr. Alexandra Katehakis http://www.journalofplay.org/sites/www.journalofplay.org/files/pdf-articles/9-2-article-5-sexual-fantasy-adult-attunement.pdf (Excellent PDF )by Dr. Alexandra Katehakis shared with permission. These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!)
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In this episode of Therapist Uncensored,Guest Dr. David Elliott presents the Three Pillars of treatment for attachment disruptions. Besides background on why attachment matters and the prevalence of insecurity, we focus mostly on how to apply the science in trying to heal relational attachment injuries for our clients, or ourselves. Meeting David ElliottDr. Elliott has had leadership roles in several professional organizations. He was President of the Rhode Island Psychological Association for a two-year term, during 2000 and 2001; and prior to that he was Chair of the Coalition of Mental Health Professionals of Rhode Island (COMHPRI), also for two years. Both organizations advocate for availability and access to high quality and affordable mental health services. Since 1998 Dr. Elliott has been on the faculty of and teaches annually at the International School for Psychotherapy, Counseling, and Group Leadership, in St. Petersburg, Russia. This three-year post-graduate program helps the therapists in training develop not only the professional skills necessary for effective therapy or leadership, but also the personal qualities that assure empathic, attuned, and ethically responsible professional activity. He is currently Chair of the International Advisory Board of the school. David Elliott is a clinician and consultant who works with trauma and co-author of http://amzn.to/2sUdioc (Attachment Disturbances in Adults, Treatment for Comprehensive Repair(2016)). Treating Attachment – today’s episodeWe knew we had to interview Dr. Elliott upon finding his book, http://amzn.to/2sUdioc (Attachment Disturbances in Adults, Treatment for Comprehensive Repair(2016)). It immediately became Sue’s current favorite read and that is saying a lot! We cover quite a lot in this podcast, especially about treatment, but if that still isn’t enough, these show notes are PACKED with PDF’s of great material offered by Dr. Elliott! Below you will find 4 full PDF handouts about the salient ideas of their synthesis of treatment for adults with attachment disruptions. Dr. Elliott introduces our audience to the 3 Pillars of Comprehensive Treatment: Ideal Parent Protocol, Metacognition and Fostering Collaborative Capacity. While he touches on them all, please download the 4 PDF attachments provided below, and start by reviewing the Overview. Four PDFshttps://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/BrownElliott.Overview-1-1.pdf (Overview of the Three Pillars Model of Attachment Treatment (Brown & Elliott, 2016)) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/BrownElliott.5Conditions-1.pdf (The Five Primary Conditions that Promote Secure Attachment (Brown & Elliott, 2016)) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/BrownElliott.MetacogLevels-1.pdf (Levels of Metacognitive Skills (Brown & Elliott, 2016)) https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/BrownElliott.CollaborativeDevt.b-1.pdf (Fostering Collaborative Capacity and Behavior (Brown & Elliott, 2016))
_______ It’s too late to attend, but just so ya know this happened….We were so impressed with his work Therapist Uncensored brought Dr. Elliott to Austin Texas for the first live professional conference we’ve hosted spun directly off the podcast in March of 2018. It was co-hosted by Austin IN Connection, an incredible non-profit supporting the the dissemination of the attachment sciences.https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode:https://pointingoutway.org (Daniel Brown, co-author of Attachment Disturbances in Adults )This is his current website, which focuses on his meditation and spiritual development activities. http://amzn.to/2sUdioc (Attachment Disturbances in Adults Treatment for Comprehensive Repair (2016) Daniel Brown... Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:Adverse Childhood Experiences: A Roadmap To Understanding And TreatmentShow NotesAdverse Childhood Experiences Study (ACES)ACES was a ground breaking study where over 17,000 members of a Kaiser Permanente HMO were surveyed about childhood exposure to trauma. They were asked about ten areas: Physical abuse Sexual abuse Emotional abuse Physical neglect Emotional neglect Mother treated violently Household substance abuse Household mental illness Parental separation or divorce Incarcerated household member FindingsThe study found that Adverse Childhood Experiences were common. They tended to occur together. And finally the higher the number of them an individual was exposed to the more predictive they were of future health, social and behavioral problems. Subsequent studies have confirmed these findings and continue to expand our understanding of the prevalence of exposure to Adverse Childhood Experiences across different populations and geography. InterventionThe strong links to future health, social and behavioral problems has called attention to the need for interventions to prevent Adverse Childhood Experiences and to treat individuals that already have an exposure to them. Interventions are being implemented in education, criminal justice, social services and many other areas. Some pediatricians are screening mothers and kids to identify risks and vulnerabilities or to understand behavior problems. Many schools focus on creating trauma-focused classrooms that help kids calm their nervous systems in order to allow them to focus on learning. ConclusionThese exposures can become signposts or “witness marks” to point us toward where attention and treatment are needed to reduce future risks
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/acestudy/ (ACES: Adverse Childhood Experiences Study) https://acestoohigh.com/got-your-ace-score/ (Once you have your ACES Score, go here to understand what it means.) https://acestoohigh.com/2017/02/05/__trashed-4/ (Now that you’ve taken the ACE Survey, take the resilience survey here!) http://amzn.to/2toQxWb (Childhood Disrupted – How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology and How You Can Heal) Check out this interactive graphic, http://www.coleva.net/ (Consequences of Lifetime Exposure to Violence COLEVA — Consequences of lifetime exposure to violence and abuse.) Go there to learn more and see more references to the detailed original research. These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!)
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IN THIS EPISODE:Mentalizing: Breaking Down a Critical Component for Secure Relating with Tina Adkins, PhdShow NotesMentalizing seems easy – but actually is quite complex. Thinking accurately about our own and others minds is such a core skill that many consider it a pre-condition for self-soothing, empathy and other facets of emotional intelligence and social-emotional maturity. It is also something that one can learn at any time in life, so it’s never too late to improve in this capacity for yourself or your children! Mentalizing and AttachmentOf course this is directly related to attachment styles, which is part of our interest. The coolest thing is that you don’t have to have even earned security to learn to do it and interrupt the unintended transmission of insecure relating! We used to think you had to have years of intensive psychotherapy or a long-term secure relationship to convert to earned secure in order to naturally parent in a way that doesn’t transmit the insecure internal working models to our kids. Now we know that with short-term cognitive interventions we can teach this particular skill and that alone improves the attachment security outcome for children of high risk parents. This is exciting! When early caregivers are unable to reflect on their children’s state of mind, these kids do not receive the active and ongoing feedback they require to develop this important capacity. This is big, because without this skill they do not learn how to understand their own thoughts, feelings, and motivations; nor the thoughts, feelings, and motivations of others. Mentalization is what enables us to develop a sense of identity and the capacity to understand both our own feelings and motivations; and those of others. Keeping Your Own and Others’ Minds in MindDan Siegel calls it Mindsight, it’s also been called Reflective Function and Metacognition, but it all basically refers to being able to accurately see your own mind as it works – body, feelings, thoughts, and other people’s minds as they are whirling away, to infer the attitudes, motivations, affect and feeling behind the thinking. The better we are at mentalizing the more securely we relate. Dr. Adkins breaks down the concept and skills required, it’s simple but not as easy as it seems. Her work in the foster care system is truly revolutionary, but these skills can be applied to adoption, children in general, and adults wanting to improve on their feelings of insecurity in the world. BiographyTina Adkins, PhD, is a Research Associate at the University of Texas at Austin, School of Social Work. She completed her PhD in Theoretical Psychoanalysis under the direction of Peter Fonagy and Patrick Luyten at University College London and the Anna Freud Center, specializing in attachment based interventions for foster/adopted children and their families. Her work in London resulted in a promising psychoeducational intervention for foster/adoptive parents designed to increase their mentalizing skills. Her research and clinical work continue to focus on the development and assessment of mentalization in parents and families.
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Tina Adkins: : https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Family-Minds-Summary-5.18.17-1.docx (Family Minds An Attachment-based Mentalizing Psycho-Educational Intervention for Foster and Adoptive Parents) Tina Adkins: https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Family-Minds-blog_Tina_1.23.17-1.docx (Why being reflective is so important for foster and adopted children) Peter Fonagy (2015): http://amzn.to/2q6nUM5 (Affect Regulation Mentalization and the Development of the Self) J O Hagelquist, foreward by Peter Fonagy (2016): http://amzn.to/2r65YVW (The Mentalization Guidebook) Regina Pally (2017): http://amzn.to/2r6eHrj (The Reflective Parent – How to Do Less and... Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:Attachment on a Spectrum: Navigating Adult Insecurity and Securityhttps://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/AttachmentSpectrumTU31.jpg ()Click image above to open. It’s been awhile since we’ve talked specifically about attachment. In this episode we are going to discuss it again more from a clinical perspective rather than from a research perspective. We are focusing on research updated within the past decade including Patricia Crittendon (see graph). We are examining attachment on a spectrum rather than fixed styles. It may not sound a whole lot different on the surface; however, this is an real update from Bowlby, Main and Ainsworth. This conversation sets us up to do more clinical intervention that we will discuss in later episodes. Attachment is a biologically based drive that helps mammals survive by gaining safety, comfort and pleasure from their caregivers. Cultures can greatly impact the type of attachment that is normalized. No matter where you start, you can grow towards attachment security, what we call “earned security.” We may anchor more in one area, but move in the continuum depending on situation/relationship. Previous assessment measures such as the AAI scored speakers that switched styles as disorganized, but the newer clinical research such as the DMM allows speakers to switch styles due to having different attachments to different caregivers, to use different working models based on different stressors (low stress low preoccupation, high stress, high dismissiveness for example), or be specifically driven. In other words, they aren’t necessarily disorganized at all. Regardless of where you begin, the work is to move more and more toward the middle toward secure relating. Rather than utility…let me fix your emotions…it is better to help the individual feel it, express it and utilize relationships to help regulate themselves. We outline the continuum… From Dismissive (blue) to Secure (green) to Preoccupied (red) (See graph above). The more in the middle, the healthier use of the relationships, at either end of continuum, we get further and further away from what is going to help us, especially relationships. Attachment On A SpectrumBlue-this side emphasizes thinking/uses emotional shut down Green – balances between cognition and affect Red…this side emphasizes emotions! Lots of words! When we lean too far right on the preoccupied side, we get caught in the feeling! Get flooded, and lose our listener, not enough internal resources to soothe self AND reach for the other.. As we are reaching, we are panicked because we don’t believe they will be there AND we don’t believe we can survive if they aren’t! It’s an emotional conundrum. Then we engage in behaviors that end up overwhelming those in relationship with us. Thus they pull away and confirm the reality that no one will be there. When we lean too far left, on the avoidant/dismissive side, we get too rational and sort of cold, and our task is to get our hearts back on-line, and to feel our needs again. When we lean too far on the right side, we get consumed with our own feelings and become blamey, clingy and underestimate our contribution to the problem. It’s best to take ourselves most seriously by reconnecting to the person we are interested in being comforted by, try on their perspective, and cool our jets a bit so we can be more effective in communicating. We can unintentionally scare the one’s we love the most away. There is a lot more to it but this is a good start, stay tuned for more. https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Patricia Crittendon and Andrea Landini: http://amzn.to/2qLNj1w (Assessing Adult Attachment A Dynamic-Maturational Approach to Discourse Analysis (2011)) Book that updates the previous attachment literature specific to clinical populations. Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:The Stages of Change: A Roadmap to ReadinessShow NotesFigure out where you are in the change cycle to be more efficient at stopping your drinking, weed smoking or over-eating. Be more effective with others by identifying where they are in the change cycle. In this episode we talk about an old addictions concept, the Stages of Change by DiClemente and Prochaska, and apply it to many trouble spots in life. Stages of change model starts with Precontemplation and moves to Contemplation, Preparation, Action, Maintenance, Relapse….The idea here is recognize that a whole lot happens in the noggin well before you see any action to fix the problem behavior. We also discuss it from a 4-part perspective, which we call https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Process-of-Change-TU30.pdf (Process of Change) Unconscious dysfunctional behavior – help the person have a reason to change, encourage exploration, leave door open for future conversations, don’t be controlling or aggressive here, talk about your needs not theirs Conscious dysfunctional behavior – ambivalent feelings usually present, help sort out pros and cons but don’t take just one side, encourage further exploration Conscious functional behavior – lot’s of support, no shame with failure, identify and assist problem solving of obstacles, small steps good, link with social support Unconscious functional behavior – keep practicing and it’ll move here, continue to get support and connect to values, cope w/ relapse, move from external motivation to internal
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: https://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Process-of-Change-TU30.pdf (Process of Change): PDF visual representation of Process of Change Prochaska JO, DiClemente CC, Norcross JC: In search of how people change. Am Psychol 1992;47:1102–4, Miller WR, Rollnick S: Motivational interviewing: preparing people to change addictive behavior. New York: Guilford, 1991:191–202. Gabor Mate:http://amzn.to/2pYCO9Q ( In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts) nothing glib or self-helpish about this book, thorough and compelling look at addiction throughout our society. Recommended by TU. Maia Szalavitz: Unbroken Brain, http://amzn.to/2peX0FC (A Revolutionary New Way of Understanding Addiction) New York Times best-seller, paradigm-shifting These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!)
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IN THIS EPISODE:Understanding Adolescent Self-Consciousness From A Brain-Wise PerspectiveShow NotesListening to a teenager obsess about the pimple on their cheek or other body part that doesn’t look right and that in their mind is glowing neon can be hard to empathize with. The extreme level of adolescent self-consciousness seems oddly self-absorbed from an adult vantage point. In this episode, we discuss the science behind what makes this experience so universal for this developmental age period. We will also help distinguish between what types of adolescent self-consciousness to expect and which types to keep an eye on if a bit too excessive. Finally, we give the listeners concrete recommendations on how to help parents and adolescents cope with this period in their lives, especially when you become the subject of their embarrassment. https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Leah H. Somerville, Rebecca M. Jones, Erika J. Ruberry, Jonathan P. Dyke, Gary Glover, and BJ Casey: Medial prefrontal cortex and the emergence of self-conscious emotion in adolescence. Sage Journals, Vol. 24 Issue 8 2013 Julie C. Bowker and Kenneth H. Rubin:Self-consciousness, friendship quality, and adolescent internalizing problems. Br J Dev Psychol. 2009 Jun; 27(0 2): 249–267. Dan Siegel: Brainstorm:http://amzn.to/2bInBV1 (Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain) These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!)
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IN THIS EPISODE:Minding Anxiety: How To Reduce Noise In The SystemOur Survival BrainOur brains evolved to be alert for threats. It was valuable to be scanning our environment for predators, planning escape routes and rehearsing contingencies when we were living on the savannah. Today rather than facing being eaten by a predator, our stressors are more likely to be a conflict with our spouse, a difficult boss, financial worries. But our brain reacts the same way it did when faced with a saber toothed tiger. Our emotions and nervous system are hijacked by our brain into survival mode. But because there isn’t a discrete threat, we can be caught in a continuous cycle of anxiety and worry. Relief From Anxiety and WorryWhen we are worrying or anxious we are not present in our own lives. This can affect our health, our relationships and diminish our sense of wellbeing and ability to enjoy life. We outline a three part exercise to find relief from anxiety and worry. The first part of that exercise is to pause and identify what is the worry. Ask yourself what is the story you are telling yourself. When you are clear on the worry, move down into your body and try and feel what the emotions are connected to that story. Try to stay in your body and really feel those difficult feelings. Don’t go back into the story. When you are ready comfort yourself. Extend compassion to yourself. Co-hosts Sue and Patty offer personal examples of how to move through the process with stories from their experience.
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Tara Brock – http://amzn.to/2cPS9EJ (Finding True Refuge: Meditations for Difficult Times) Tara Brock– http://amzn.to/2beQ0Nw (Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha) Kristen Neff– http://amzn.to/2bIYFZg (The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions) Jon Kabat-Zinn– http://amzn.to/2bpMsLd (Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness) These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!)
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IN THIS EPISODE:Raising Secure Children with Guest Tina Payne BrysonIn this episode co-host Sue Marriott interviews attachment expert Tina Payne Bryson about the real challenges of staying attuned and connected while raising children. It’s a no-nonsense conversation that offers parents practical steps to increase the odds of raising secure kids. For child-free individuals it’s also a great conversation about what we needed but may not have gotten, so it’s a good listen for those needing to develop more self-empathy. We discuss how to stay curious, peel back the layers and recognize the behavior as communication.Tina Payne Bryson explains the problem with Time Out, and what to do instead. Then we discuss how to move out of reactive states of mind in order to be ready to teach (discipline) your child, and how to help your child be ready to receive (learn from) our highly valuable feedback. 🙂 In addition we cover ruptures and repairs, and the gap between over and under-invested parents. Practical ideas such as the 4 S’s: safe, secure, seen and soothed are explained. We end with two key pieces of advice for all parents – soothe your child especially when they are in heightened distress (read: often when they are behaving badly), and soothe yourself as needed (balancing autonomy and connection is a sign of security). Finally, listeners are advised to keep challenging what you think you know!
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Printable PDF — http://bit.ly/2pGOGdu (The Whole Brain Child )with permission by Tina Payne Bryson. Printable PDF — http://bit.ly/2pGZ0Cl (No Drama Discipline) refrigerator sheet, with permission by Tina Payne Bryson http://www.tinabryson.com (Tina Payne Bryson) website has tons of free resources. http://www.centerforconnection.org (The Center for Connection) – more resources here Tina Payne Bryson and Dan Siegel: http://amzn.to/2oEIFjE (No Drama Discipline Workbook Exercises, Activities and Practical Stragegies) Tina Payne Bryson and Dan Siegel: http://amzn.to/2ps67Ps (The Whole Brain Child) Tina Payne Bryson and Dan Siegel: http://amzn.to/2ohsczc (No Drama Discipline ) These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!)
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IN THIS EPISODE:Live Conversation With Austin In Connection About Interpersonal NeurobiologyShow NotesIn this special episode, we take you deep in the heart of Austin TX where therapists gather to learn, study and practice the relational sciences and interpersonal neurobiology. Austin IN Connection is the largest organized gathering of local therapists studying and applying this research in the world. In today’s episode, co-hosts Patty Olwell Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott turn the mics around and let the world hear from these experienced clinicians and students, and share with them and all of you the most important and useful applied concepts of interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB). Personally we can say it was the most ambitious episode we’ve recorded to date, we are therapists first and podcasters second, and we are still within our first year of podcasting so we are still figuring things out. To record live, unscripted and to a highly respected and well-trained audience of friends and peers was… well, nerve-wracking to say the least. The first half we intentionally did not record, and shared conversation and sanctuary with this diverse community of therapists. We also shared some of the history of AINC in it’s 10th year of existence now and even how Year of Conversations came to have its name (Sue Marriott was co-founder of AINC and Patty Olwell former President, so it was nice to be back continuing the journey of getting the word out to the world about the importance and relevance of the relational sciences). Once we began recording we managed to cover our favorite useful concepts such as the window of tolerance, the triangle of well-being, neural integration, neural wi-fi, co-regulation, FACES flow, pre-frontal cortex functions and we even slipped in a mention of the 9 domains of integration. This was all explored in the context of cultural and familial strain post-election. We want to send a very special and specific thank you to everyone who attended the event, and a huge shout out to all those brave enough to speak up, you were speaking for the group and your words were inspirational. Thank you! This podcast was recorded live at Austin In Connection’s Friday February 3, 2017 Year of Conversation
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Steven Vasquez (Austin therapist and participant in podcast): http://amzn.to/2orA2ub (Spiritually Transformative Therapy: Repairing Spiritual Damage and Facilitating Extreme Well-being) Dan Siegel and Marion Solomon: http://amzn.to/2n39lvi (Healing Trauma: Attachment Mind Body and Brain) Dan Siegel: http://amzn.to/2orkaqN (The Developing Mind) Dr. Dan Siegel’s core textbook on IPNB Get Dan Siegel’s introduction chapter PDF from the Developing Mind by visiting our podcast https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu16-inside-the-mind-of-dan-siegel/ (Episode 16) http://austininconnection.org/ (Austin In Connection) an Austin, Tx professional organization that brings information about relationships, parenting, and psychological well being to our professional community and to the public These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!)
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IN THIS EPISODE:Ping-pong vs Catch: Turning Communication from Competition to ConnectionShow NotesEnhancing CommunicationLearn how playing a good game of emotional pitch and catch can immediately improve your communications. Sometimes hearing the words “Can we talk?!?” can fill you with anticipation and dread. And once we feel a bit of threat, it does not bode well for how that “talk” could end up despite our best intentions. Strategy To Improve CommunicationIn today’s episode, we explore why and how this response happens and share strategies to help make these interactions more fulfilling. By visualizing the difference in two sports, Ping Pong and Catch, we help listeners conceptualize the body’s response to different listening states and “feel” their way to more open and engaging interactions.
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Krista Tippett – http://onbeing.org/programs/krista-tippett-the-mystery-and-art-of-living/ (On Being), audio of tables turned and Krista being interviewed for a change. Krista Tippett – http://amzn.to/2nArQGm (Becoming Wise, An Inquiry Into the Mystery and Art of Living) Steven Bergman – https://www.jbmti.org/pdf/48sc.pdf (Men’s Psychological Development, A Relational Perspective) Stephen Mitchell – http://amzn.to/2niPEfQ (Hope and Dread in Psychoanalysis) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg (It’s Not About the Nail) – Humorous free short communication video training for couples These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!)
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Grief: a natural process to heal the violation of loss. Candyce Ossefort-Russell and co-hosts Ann Kelley and Patty Olwell discuss what grief is, how our culture views it and how to understand and help ourselves and others navigate the healing journey through mourning and loss. What Is Grief?Grief is the natural healing process that we experience when our emotions and bodies are confronted with loss of an important person, relationship or role. Loss disregulates our nervous system and our self organization. The podcast describes how destabilizing this can be and how different the process can look from individual to individual. Our Cultures View Of GriefOur culture looks at grief as something to be cured rather than a natural healing process that needs to occur. And our discomfort with grief can often leave the person suffering the loss feeling isolated and cut off from relationships that could help them recover from their loss. How Can We Help Someone Suffering From Loss?Candyce discusses how unwavering fearless support from at least one important person while journeying through the grief process can be invaluable. The acceptance of the individuals process rather than trying to fix them or pathologize the way they are grieving should be the priority. Thanks to our interviewee Candyce Ossefort-Russell! http://www.candycecounseling.com/ (www.candycecounseling.com) To get Your Grief is Your Own, a free e-book by Candyce that follows up on this podcast, go to: http://bit.ly/griefdownload (bit.ly/griefdownload)
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Ossefort-Russell, C. (December, 2013). Grief Calls for Presence, Not Treatment: Using Attachment and IPNB to Shift Grief’s Context From Pathology to Acceptance. Journal ofInterpersonal Neurobiology Studies. Vol II, 2013. http://www.deepcenterforgrowth.com/candyce-counseling/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2014/06/Journal-of-IPNB-Studies-Vol-II-2013-Grief-Article.pdf (Journal of IPNB Studies, Vol II 2013 – Grief Article) Ossefort-Russell, C. (March, 2011). Individuals Grieve: AEDP as an Effective Approach for Grief as a Personal Process. In Transformance: The AEDP Journal, Issue 1(2). http://www.deepcenterforgrowth.com/candyce-counseling/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2014/06/Transformance-Article-Pub-03-2011.pdf (Transformance Article, Pub 03 2011) Ossefort-Russell, C. (Spring, 2009). Working With Affect: Love (Mixed With Intuition) Is All You Need. In The Voice: Newsletter of the Austin Group Psychotherapy Society. http://www.deepcenterforgrowth.com/candyce-counseling/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2014/06/Working-With-Affect-2009.pdf (Working With Affect 2009) Ossefort, C. (Spring, 2003). On the Nature of Difficulty. In The Voice: Newsletter of the Austin Group Psychotherapy Society. http://www.deepcenterforgrowth.com/candyce-counseling/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2014/06/Nature_of_Difficulty.pdf (Nature_of_Difficulty) Ossefort, C. (Spring, 2001). Bearing Witness to Inconsolable Suffering. In The Voice: Newsletter of the Austin Group Psychotherapy Society. http://www.deepcenterforgrowth.com/candyce-counseling/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2014/06/Bearing_Witness.pdf (Bearing_Witness) These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!)
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IN THIS EPISODE:Building Grit Through Self Compassion with Dr Kristin NeffShow NotesCo-host Dr. Ann Kelley interviews Dr. Kristen Neff, an Associate Professor at the University of Texas at Austin and a foremost author and expert in Self Compassion. Self compassion is fierce accountability that is core to psychological health… who knew? Most of us think of it as being soft on yourself, but our guest will reveal the surprising power and science of self-compassion in this episode. Self Esteem vs Self CompassionThis is not feel-good, la-la, therapy-talk, it’s real science. Learn the important distinction between these two concepts and how one can lead to psychological instability, self-criticism, stress, competition and difficulty within ourselves, our relationships and our culture. You really want to get this right and may be surprised! Treating yourself as your own best friend. Misperceptions of Self CompassionIt’s NOT a free pass, or being easy on yourself. It can be “fierce” and “protective” and “motivating.” Science shows that the warmth and support of self-compassion promotes health and increases the chances of success in accomplishing goals, whereas negative self talk and kicking one’s own butt doesn’t work because it creates a system of threat and self-sabotage. Steps to Self Compassion Dr. Neff outlines the three elements of self-compassion: Mindfulness vs. Over identification:The first step is to be mindfully aware of ourselves and our emotions, but from a place of non-judgement. Common Humanity vs Isolation: The second step is to recognize the common humanity in our feelings and behaviors rather than seeing ourselves as the “best” or the “worst.” Recognizing that pain is a normal part of human existence, as is suffering and personal inadequacy. Self-kindness vs. Self-Judgment: Being kind to oneself rather than self-condemning, is at the core Self Compassion as an antidote to shame, the underpinning of narcissismDr. Neff discusses research which highlights the increase in narcissism in our current culture. She highlights our culture’s tendency to be competitive and to place individual value as contingent on how we compare to those around us. This leaves us extremely vulnerability to the development of narcissism and other psychological difficulties. We discuss the importance of teaching self-compassion to our children and to maintaining an active, loving presence with oneself in order to build self-value without a need to downgrade or succeed over others. Self Compassion in our political climateDr. Neff speaks frankly about her perceptions of the current political climate. She sees self and other compassion as essential to help our country deal with the discord and disharmony around us.
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Kristen Neff: http://amzn.to/2ldO2RX (Self Compassion Step by Step, The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself) (Audio CD) Brene Brown: http://amzn.to/2lZqBAx (The Gifts of Imperfection) Karen Bluth, forward by Kristin Neff: http://amzn.to/2l0xX77 (The Self-Compassion Workbook for Teens) Jean M Twenge and W. Keith Campbell: http://amzn.to/2mzS4p5 (The Narcissism Epidemic Living in the Age of Entitlement) Kristen Neff: (visit this it has tons of great resources including free mp3’s) http://self-compassion.org/test-how-self-compassionate-you-are/ (Self Compassion Test ) http://brenebrown.com (Brene Brown) “courageously present” rather than “mindfulness” http://www.horseboyfoundation.org (Horse BoyFoundation) in Elgin, TX http://www.itunes.com/Movies/TheHorseBoy (The House Boy) movie These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!) ... Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:Love Letter To Group PsychotherapyShow NotesCo-hosts Sue Marriott and Patty Olwell interview colleagues at the American Group Psychotherapy 2016 Association Annual Meeting in New York. They talk about why they love group therapy and why it is so valuable to their clients. We want to thank our interviewees for their help and insights. Interviewees for Love Letter To Group PsychotherapyTammy Brown – Austin TX http://tammybrowntherapy.com/ (tammybrowntherapy.com) Jamie Moran – San Francisco CA http://www.jamiemoran.com/ (jamiemoran.com) Rita Drapkin – Indiana University of Pennsylvania (724)357-2621 Pierre Choucroun – Austin TX https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/name/Pierre_M_Choucroun_PhD,LPC-S_Austin_Texas_50056 (Pierre M Choucroun on Psychology Today) Kelly Inselmann – Austin TX http://www.kellyinselmann.com/ (kellyinselmann.com) Liz Rosenblatt – Los Angeles CA http://lagpa.org/directory/dr-elizabeth-rosenblatt-96.html (Dr Elizabeth Rosenblatt on LAGPA)
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: http://www.austingroups.org/ (Austin Group Psychotherapy Society): Organization that promotes group therapy and provides training for clinicians http://www.agpa.org/home/about-us/agpa (American Group Psychotherapy Association): National organization that promotes group therapy as a cost effective and clinical valuable treatment. http://amzn.to/2cLq9Pe (Psychodynamic Group Psychotherapy) Scott Rutan Walter Stone and Joseph Shay. These are masters of group. Excellent text for therapists and others eager to learn about group. You can trust these authors. These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!)
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IN THIS EPISODE:Reduce Drama in Your Life – Unpack The Victim Perpetrator Rescuer In Us Allhttps://www.therapistuncensored.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Karpmans-Triangle.pdf (Click for PDF of Karpman’s Triangle Explained) Stephen Karpman, MD a psychiatrist working with Transactional Analysis under Erik Berne conceived the idea of this simple representation, now referred to as a drama triangle, or Karpman’s Triangle, to explain how we can sometimes get locked in rigid self-satisfying or self-punishing roles: Victim Perpetrator Rescuer that can impact our ability to live free and peaceful lives. In this podcast we explore not only how the roles impact our relationships with others but also the positive characteristics that we can move towards in each of these roles. Interplay Between Victim Perpetrator Rescuer RolesThese natural roles don’t define us, but are more ego states we drop into under stress, often in response to someone else’s behavior. Someone in Victim-role can elicit the other person in a dyad to go into Recue-role and if you stay in a rigid Rescuer role long enough one can evoke your own or another’s Perpetrator and so on. The problem isn’t that we trend towards these corners of the triangles, it’s only when we get stuck in an extreme. The podcast describes how to get out of the role lock and move back into an integrated balanced state whereby you are in touch with the health of all three of these positions. Healthy Characteristics of Victim Perpetrator Rescuer RolesFor example the health in the Perpetrator/Persecutor role, if it’s not extreme, is the capacity to stand up for oneself, have a voice, set boundaries, be assertive and hold people accountable. The health in the Rescue role is more obvious, because the compassion and warmth is visible. What it’s covering though is more interesting for this role, which can have a great deal of hidden aggression and lack of agency, and can be at the expense of the self. Health in the victim role is having the self-awareness to see one’s own vulnerability, and when combined with the other two sides of the triangle – assertiveness and compassion, you have a solid strong integrated state. So the goal is to stay out of rigid self-satisfying or self-defeating role locks and incorporate the disowned parts of you that may lie in the opposite corners of the triangle.
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Karpman, S. (1968). Fairy tales and script drama analysis. Transactional Analysis Bulletin, 7(26), 39-43 These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!)
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IN THIS EPISODE:Developing Racial Identity with Guests Rudy Lucas and Christine SchmidtShow NotesGuests Christine Schmidt and Rudy Lucas join co-hosts Patty Olwell and Sue Marriott in a wide-ranging discussion on racial identity just after the election. Privileged white people talking about race can be awkward – we discuss how our natural sense of safety is part of our privilege and letting ourselves step out and get uncomfortable is necessary to even begin to dig in and get the compassion, understanding and necessary context to be able to be useful in these times. The safety bubble has popped and it could not be more obvious given the current political climate of division that a shaking and awakening is necessary. What is Racial IdentityRudy and Christine walk us through some of the steps necessary to look at aspects of racial identity, both white and black. We discuss immunity by color, invisibility, access, race avoidance, colorism, recommended study and literature, history and context, and we barely scratched the surface with this conversation. This quote stands out because of it’s clarity and it’s importance! In response to question about reverse racism, Rudy responded: “There is no such thing as reverse racism, because the determining factor is access to power. Oppressed populations never have been known to have any kind of power sufficient to have their feelings thoughts and wishes codified into the law….” And he concluded –“People can be guilty of prejudice, discrimination, judgement… but racist they cannot be in the absence of power. “ Rudy Lucas Racism must have the weight of history and institutional power under it to exist. Which is why those of us with history and the laws on our side can’t complain now that we are uncomfortable and see it as equal to an oppressed person’s suffering. The conversation ranged and covered many topics but Christine and Rudy recommend as next steps that you view these two videos: Fusion Video-http://fusion.net/video/354460/how-microaggressions-are-like-mosquito-bites/ (How Microagressions Are Like Mosquito Bites ) Jay Smooth-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0Ti-gkJiXc (How to Tell Someone They Sound Racist)
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Janet Helms-http://amzn.to/2kD5VKM (Black and White Racial Identity: Theory Research and Practice ) Peggy McIntosh- https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GEHaNWcaSVhIx1yzw2VZEYQB3rASl8GosfiiiKCLxdU/edit (White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack) Paula Rothenburg-http://amzn.to/2khAvN3 (White Privilege: Essential Reading on the Other Side of Racism) Janet Helms and Donelda Cook-http://amzn.to/2kIkiRj (Using Race and Culture in Counseling and Psychotherapy ) https://www.youtube.com/user/illdoc1 (Jay Smooth) – cultural commentator check him out! Highly recommended. Alice Walker- http://amzn.to/2kIWpFd (Anything We Love Can Be Saved ) Alice Walkehttp://amzn.to/2kIWpFd (r)–http://amzn.to/2kIk2SF (Hard Times Require Furious Dancing) William E. Cross-https://www.amazon.com/Shades-Black-Diversity-American-Identity/dp/087722949X/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1485972869&sr=1-2&keywords=shades+of+black (Shades of Black: Diversity in African-American Identity) William E. Cross-documented his personal experience in scholarly publications such as The Negro to Black Conversion Experience in 1971 Alice Walker: https://www.amazon.com/Alice-Walker/e/B000APW6SE/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1483544688&sr=1-2-ent (Definition of Colorism: In search of our mothers’ gardens: womanist prose). Kenneth and Mamie Clark: http://www.naacpldf.org/brown-at-60-the-doll-test (Doll Study) Authors to read:James Baldwin, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Howard Zinn, Michelle Alexander, Carol Anderson, Robin DiAngelo, Maya Angelou Eastern Group Psychotherapy Society... Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:Increase Your Cool By Managing Your Ventral Vagal SystemShow NotesIn Part II of our exploration of polyvagal theory, with psychotherapists and co-hosts of this podcast, Ann Kelley, Patty Olwell and Sue Marriott we talk about strategies to help us engage our ventral vagal or social engagement system to calm our nervous system. We review how our nervous system appraises safety and danger. Then they discuss how to harness the knowledge and make it usable in real life. Polyvagal Theory RevisitedStephen Porges developed polyvagal theory, which explains our nervous system’s response to stress or danger. It describes a three part hierarchical system. The first, the ventral vagal is described in the podcast as a safety system or green zone. The second is activation. This is the sympathetic nervous system getting us ready for fight or flight. In the podcast described as an activated red zone. The third system is the dorsal vagal, which is immobilization or freeze. In the podcast described as an immobilized red zone. How Does Polyvagal Theory WorkThe theory describes how we assess stress or danger based on cues in the environment. If we begin to sense stress our sympathetic or activation system begins to kick in. Then we attempt to engage our ventral vegal or social engagement system (the green zone). If that doesn’t work, the threat persists or intensifies we employ our activation system. We get ready to take action. Our heart rate increases to prepare us for fight or flight. Then if the threat is too large or we can’t escape the system of last resort, the dorsal vegal takes over. How Understanding Polyvagal Theory Can Help Me Regulate StressToday most of us are not chasing saber-toothed tigers through the jungle. So the stressors and dangers we face are often interpersonal. We can often because of our own personal histories misread the environmental cues. If we walk into a party and don’t see a familiar face our sympathetic nervous system can get activated. If we understand from polyvagal theory that we have a social engagement system and that engaging it will calm us down, we then have strategies that we can use. We can look for a friendly face and start a conversation. We can find someone we know at the party and make contact. This understanding gives us choices when we want to calm ourselves or help our children, partners or friends calm their nervous systems. Important ConceptsVagus Nerve – 10th cranial nerve and part of the parasympathetic nervous system. Has two branches and acts as a brake on the sympathetic nervous system. Ventral Vagal – The newer myelinated branch of the vagus that developed in mammals. Controls the social engagement system. Dorsal Vagal- More primitive unmyelinated branch of the vagus nerve. Acts as a Sympathetic Nervous System – part of the autonomic nervous system that controls activation. Parasympathetic Nervous System – part of the autonomic nervous system that inhibits the sympathetic nervous system Neuroception – Porges term that describes how our nervous system assesses whether people or places are safe, dangerous or life threatening https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Stephen W. Porges -The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!)
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Unpack the science behind the polyvagal theory, with psychotherapists and co-hosts of this podcast, Ann Kelley, Patty Olwell and Sue Marriott as they explore how our nervous system appraises safety and danger. Then they discuss how to harness the knowledge and make it usable in real life. What Is Polyvagal TheoryStephen Porges developed polyvagal theory, which explains our nervous system’s response to stress or danger. It describes a three part hierarchical system. The first, the ventral vagal is described in the podcast as a safety system or green zone. The second is activation. This is the sympathetic nervous system getting us ready for fight or flight. In the podcast described as an activated red zone. The third system is the dorsal vagal, which is immobilization or freeze. In the podcast described as an immobilized red zone. How Does Polyvagal Theory WorkThe theory describes how we assess stress or danger based on cues in the environment. If we begin to sense stress our sympathetic or activation system begins to kick in. Then we attempt to engage our ventral vegal or social engagement system (the green zone). If that doesn’t work, the threat persists or intensifies we employ our activation system. We get ready to take action. Our heart rate increases to prepare us for fight or flight. Then if the threat is too large or we can’t escape the system of last resort, the dorsal vegal takes over. How Understanding Polyvagal Theory Can Help Me Regulate StressToday most of us are not chasing saber-toothed tigers through the jungle. So the stressors and dangers we face are often interpersonal. We can often because of our own personal histories misread the environmental cues. If we walk into a party and don’t see a familiar face our sympathetic nervous system can get activated. If we understand from polyvagal theory that we have a social engagement system and that engaging it will calm us down, we then have strategies that we can use. We can look for a friendly face and start a conversation. We can find someone we know at the party and make contact. This understanding gives us choices when we want to calm ourselves or help our children, partners or friends calm their nervous systems. Important ConceptsVagus Nerve – 10th cranial nerve and part of the parasympathetic nervous system. Has two branches and acts as a brake on the sympathetic nervous system. Ventral Vagal – The newer myelinated branch of the vagus that developed in mammals. Controls the social engagement system. Dorsal Vagal- More primitive unmyelinated branch of the vagus nerve. Acts as a Sympathetic Nervous System – part of the autonomic nervous system that controls activation. Parasympathetic Nervous System – part of the autonomic nervous system that inhibits the sympathetic nervous system Neuroception – Porges term that describes how our nervous system assesses whether people or places are safe, dangerous or life threatening
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Stephen W. Porges -The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!)
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IN THIS EPISODE: Biology of Motivation and Habits: Why We Drop the BallUnderstanding Research Behind Motivation and HabitsEven when it is so important to us, why is it that it’s so hard to follow through when we are trying to make or break habits? In this episode, we discuss research and biology around why it is so hard to change our patterns and stick to the goals we set for ourselves. How we view our goals significantly impacts how we behave and the decisions we make. In general, people tend to have elevated levels of motivation and aspirations when we are planning for a ‘new start’ or considering our future self. However, we tend to minimize the obstacles that will get in our way. In this episode, we discuss why ignoring these obstacles is a big factor to our “dropping the ball,” why we tend to do it, and how our brain “chunks” patterns of behavior into well-worn habits that require very minimal thinking and decision-making along the way. Our brains are highly trained to focus first on survival…not on our higher aspirational selves. Developing strategies to tune into your higher, value-driven self may be just what we need to help move out of automation and accomplish goals that are so important to ourselves. Learn about our neurochemical reward system, habituation and satiation systems so that you can hack your biology. Join our email list at https://www.therapistuncensored.com/ (www.therapistuncensored.com) to access our private online Facebook community supporting the dissemination of the relational sciences to support healthy connections and relationships around the world!
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Jefferey M. Schwartz, M.D. & Rebecca Gladding, M.D. – You are Not Your Brain – The 4-Step Solution for Changing Bad Habits, Ending Unhealthy Thinking and Taking Control of Your Life. Ann M. Graybiel & Kyle S. Smith (2014). – How the Brain Makes and Breaks Habits Judith Wright – The Soft Addiction Solution: Break Free of the Seemingly Harmless Habits That Keep You From The Life You Want. Charles Duhigg (2012) -The Neuroscience of Habits: How They From and How to Change Them These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!)
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IN THIS EPISODE:Inside the Mind of Dr. Dan SiegelShow NotesInterview with Dr Dan Siegel, the father of Interpersonal Neurobiology. Get a peak into his thoughts on hope in our fear-based culture today, human kind across history and using this science to make changes individually and as a society. Patty Olwell & Sue Marriott speak with Dan Siegel about the most recent finding in IN and his new book, Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human (A New York Times Best Seller). Co-host Dr. Ann Kelley supports backstage for this episode. Dan Siegel discussed how the current political, international and climate crises could be viewed instead of doom, a chance to transform human connection. He called for us all to become pervasive leaders — Pervasive Leadership characteristics :Change your mental model of I and Thou. Act locally; think holistically. Enact empathetic stewardship Human history over time – Sapians – (see resource list). Homosapians have been killing their brothers and kin since the beginning of recorded time, so any current cultural unkindness is part of our hardwiring. We can rise above it, but first recognize it as human. Interpersonal neurobiology – coined by Dan Siegel in 1999 is a way of living and viewing the world with a set of principles that lead toward integration. Integration – combining distinct specialized functions that link and connect the specializations together, creating harmony. This is a view that can be utilized within one person and across couples, families, organizations and nations. In-group/Out-group discussion and MindsightWhen a person is seen as the same, we have a natural resonance and empathy, if we feel safe we can extend that to those that appear Other. If we feel threat – even if we don’t know we are feeling it (nanoseconds of a threatening photo flashed, outside of our awareness) we respond strongly by turning off our empathy for the Out-group and turning up our response to the In-group. This is the explanation for what is happening here in the United States and Britain and many places around the world where genocides are occurring. Terror is driving this IN/OUT hostile behavior. With practice this can be changed. Say to yourself: My nervous system is making me treat the other person as an Out group member with more hostility, but that goes against my larger values of treating all human beings, all living beings with deep respect, as I would my In-group. We can rise above it. Rise above our brains initial proclivity towards bias and our mind to actively change how our brain ultimately carries out behavior – to be able to see the others mind and treat them as an in-group. Compassionately, fairly. Our leaders, people who run our country, organizations, educational institutions, clinicians, and people in positions to raise children… all have brains and minds that can overcome this biologic bias. We should see them as humans with limitations. Uninformed. They need safety to let down. FACESFlexible Adaptive Coherent Energetic Stable MWE = me in a body + we in connection to others and the planet Eudaimonia – Greek term that means life filled by meaning and connection and equanimity not from producing and consuming junk
Join our email list at https://www.therapistuncensored.com/ (www.therapistuncensored.com) to access our private online community supporting the dissemination of the relational sciences to support healthy connections and relationships around the world!
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Dr. Dan Siegel: http://amzn.to/2feHdwx (The Mind, Journey to Heart of Being Human) New York Times Best Seller Yuval Noah Harari: http://amzn.to/2h8eLRp (Sapiens A Brief History of Human Kind) Dr. Dan Siegel: http://www.drdansiegel.com/resources/wheel_of_awareness/ (Wheel of Awareness and 3 free guided meditations)... Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:Unpacking The Science of Interpersonal NeurobiologyShow NotesUnpack the complicated science behind the brain, the mind and secure relating with psychotherapists and co-hosts of this podcast, Ann Kelley, Patty Olwell and Sue Marriott as they break down the complicated subject of Interpersonal Neurobiology to make it usable in real life. Interpersonal neurobiology sounds complicated but it isn’t. Use this in business, families, civic organizations and couples. What Is Interpersonal NeurobiologyIt’s related to the mind, to the brain and to many different disciplines of science that come together and basically agree on a few things, which is in itself amazing, and it all move towards the idea of mental health and overall well being. IN (interpersonal neurobiology) is a term coined by Dan Siegel (see show notes for extensive referencing). Neural plasticity basically means it’s never too late, the brain inside your skull is ever-changing and affected by our daily practices. Neural plasticity is explained in some detail and is a point of hope in aging, brain injury, trauma, neglect, attachment injuries and relationships. Healing occurs by practice and work in compassionate social relationships. Besides brain biology which we went over in Therapist Uncensored Episode 2, where we emphasized the importance of the PFC (pre-frontal cortex) in empathic relating, IN picks up in how to stay connected to your PFC. Siegel talks about striving for FACES flow, which is an integrated neural state, integration being a primary point in IN. Important ConceptsFACES flow – FLEXIBLE ACTIVE COHERENT ENERGETIC SECURE (pre-frontal cortex active!!) COAL to get to FACES – COAL is to relate to oneself in a CURIOUS, OPEN, ACCEPTING, and LOVING manner no matter what you are feeling. Cool off the mid-brain/limbic and move up to a more regulated calm place in the mind. Name it to tame it is a concept you’ll hear about to bring online neural aspects which will help you master feelings, bring in the pause, get you to and through COAL to FACES. Neurons that fire together wire together, Hebbs Law. For better or worse. Connect before you correct, parenting concept but also applicable in close relationships. Triangle of well-being, MIND, BRAIN, RELATIONSHIP. Especially applicable to therapists. Mindsight – being able to see your own and others mind. Also called reflective function.
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Dan Siegel-http://amzn.to/2feHdwx (Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human) New York Times Bestseller Tara Brach-http://amzn.to/2hiKU74 (Radical Acceptance) https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/inspire-rewire (Resource guide by Dr. Dan Siegel) These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!)
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IN THIS EPISODE:How To Handle Post Election Tensions: Tips For The Holidays And BeyondYou know the feeling you get when you find out that someone you know and like voted for the “wrong person” this past election? Ann Kelley, Patty Olwell and Sue Marriott discuss post-election tensions as they relate to family, neighbors and co-workers, and give tips on going home for the holidays. If you are losing your mindApplying concepts from IPNB (interpersonal neurobiology), hosts discuss getting a deeper understanding of the very big feelings that have emerged with the surprise election results. While we are all sick of talking and reading about the latest antics of the politicians, we cannot help but keep consuming and trying to process what is happening. We don’t discuss the election itself, but the fallout interpersonally. Threat response is the big news here; the body and brain/mind perceives danger from the opposite aisle. Understanding the nuance of what you are feeling and why is a key to emotional regulation. We are not advocating for you to just move on, and tamp down your feelings, but instead make suggestions for you to respond more effectively and deliberately. Rather than strangling someone…Empathy is easy for some when it’s the “right” group to empathize with but pretty hard when that group is the source of a perceived threat. Threat and the feeling of lack of safety are two tenants that are driving many voters – on both sides of the aisle. Naming it to tame it is a key concept for IPNB self-regulation, so getting more conscious and aware of the range of what is going on inside you will help you begin to direct it as constructively as possible so you can respond rather than simply react. Whether it’s being able to better understand yourself so you can more effectively and deliberately respond to a call for action, or to stop acting and denigrating one another so as to begin healing the divide, decoding and being conscious of automatic thoughts, righteous indignation, rage and hopelessness are key. In addition we talk about how to better manage someone else who may be in their own caveman black/white neural response circuit. We try to avoid clichés of all getting along, and address the very real and sharp differences and how to even begin to find common ground (and why some people HATE hearing about a call for common ground). We hope the discussion will be useful no matter your political orientation to handle post election tensions in your relationships.
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Jefferey M. Schwartz, M.D. & Rebecca Gladding, M.D.- You are Not Your Brain – The 4-Step Solution for Changing Bad Habits, Ending Unhealthy Thinking and Taking Control of Your Life. Ann M. Graybiel & Kyle S. Smith (2014).- How the Brain Makes and Breaks Habits Judith Wright -The Soft Addiction Solution: Break Free of the Seemingly Harmless Habits That Keep You From The Life You Want. Charles Duhigg (2012) -The Neuroscience of Habits: How They From and How to Change Them These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!) Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE: Our Powerful Fascination With Narcissism In The Era Of TrumpAn in-depth discussion with Dr. Leonard Cruz and Dr. Steven Buser, editors of “A Clear and Present Danger: Narcissism in the Era of Donald Trump.” We are publishing this podcast just a few days before the United States selects their next President and at a time of historic national pain and divisiveness. Why narcissism?We discuss how one aspect of this election that has driven people to such passion is their draw toward or their aversion from some of the large personalities that continue to inflame our fascination and interest. This episode focuses not on the carnage that this election is inflicting on us as a society, but on finding some level of understanding on how we got here, and rekindling hope no matter what happens Nov 9. We cover how this is not about any individual candidate but more a reflection of the times. At Therapist Uncensored, a podcast dedicated to promoting security and connections between people, we recognize the importance of unpacking this cultural phenomenon from a level of depth and compassion. We cover how, as a culture, we got here and what to do about it. We look at it both from an individual standpoint – why are we drawn to narcissism in general and culturally, why in the US at this moment in time? Join our email list at https://www.therapistuncensored.com (www.therapistuncensored.com) to access our private online community supporting the dissemination of the relational sciences to support healthy connections and relationships around the world!
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Steven Buser and Leonard Cruz, Editorshttp://amzn.to/2ftt2ZL (-A Clear and PresentDanger, Narcissism in the Age of Trump) Wendy Terrie Behary LCSW, Foreward by Daniel Siegel, MD- http://amzn.to/2ec6KG6 (Disarming the Narcissist) http://ashevillejungcenter.org/ (Asheville Jung Center) http://chironpublications.com/ (Chiron Publications) These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!) Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:If It’s Not Good for You, It’s not Good for Us: Interview with Relationship Expert Stan TatkinShow Notes Clinician, author, PACT developer, and co-founder of the PACT Institute, Dr. Stan Tatkin teaches at UCLA, maintains a private practice in Southern California, and leads PACT programs in the US and internationally. He is the author Wired for Dating, Wired for Love, Your Brain on Love, and co-author of Love and War in Intimate Relationships. Dr. Stan Tatkin is on the board of directors of Lifespan Learning Institute and serves as an advisory board member of Relationships First, a nonprofit organization founded by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. Biology of LoveCo-hosts Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley engage in a wide-ranging discussion with Dr. Stan Tatkin on the biology of love, connections and the practical things to do and not do in our most important relationships. We discuss the significance and power of primary relationships. Whether with a partner, a friend, or a sibling, a “primary” is the one you most turn toward to celebrate your special moments or to seek support during hard times. It is within these relationships that we build a 2-person security system that helps us tackle the world in a more secure and robust way. How To Prioritize The RelationshipDr. Stan Tatkin shares his vast knowledge of neurobiology and attachment to help us understand how to find, build and maintain safety and security in these relationships. Our discussion reaches far and wide, including how to vet a potential partner, ways to relate in a “fair and just” manner, and the importance of understanding and communicating your own value system with others. From monogamy to polyamory relationships, it is important to understand yourself more deeply and those that you bring into your life. Join our email list at https://www.therapistuncensored.com/ (www.therapistuncensored.com) to access our private online community supporting the dissemination of the relational sciences to support healthy connections and relationships around the world!
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Stan Tatkin-http://amzn.to/2eemGen (Wired for Dating, How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate) Stan Tatkin:http://amzn.to/2er09bZ (Your Brain on Love, the Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships) PACT – http://www.thepactinstitute.com (www.thepactinstitute.com) Stan Tatkin – http://amzn.to/2dpFuqS (Wired for Love) These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!) Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:Gain Influence and Balance Power in Important RelationshipsShow NotesJoin our email list at https://www.therapistuncensored.com/ (www.therapistuncensored.com) to access our private online community supporting the dissemination of the relational sciences to support healthy connections and relationships around the world! Power dynamics are infused in all relationships, be it romantic, business, political, parent-child, friendships, etc. Most of us want important relationships where both parties feel a sense of mutual respect. While this can sometimes come naturally and with ease, when the balance of power gets off center, relationships can really suffer. Whether you find it difficult to have your voice, or you struggle to allow yourself to be influenced by others, patterns can develop that impede the safe connections that we generally desire. In this episode, we discuss the difference between exerting power through methods of fear and control and actually being naturally influential and powerful. We also cover being influenced versus giving in. Why is this important in Relationships?As we’ve discussed in prior podcasts, striving towards internal and relational security is what helps us be resilient when stressed, respond more flexibly to demands of life and enhance each other’s well-being. To function at our best, it is key to have a sense of mutual power and reciprocal influence and to know how to get to that point if it’s not there. What can you do?It’s important to get in touch with whether you feel safe expressing yourself and/or whether you feel open to being influence by others. Do you fear speaking up will lead to the other’s withdrawal of affection? Do you fear that if you listen to your partner, you will feel controlled? These are examples discussed that indicate that an imbalance of power may be in play. Compliance with requests can backfire for the person getting their way! Be your right size – not bigger or smaller than you really are. Subscribe to our podcast via iTunes, Android or your favorite platform, and join our community by signing up for our email list today.
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Dacher Keltner – http://amzn.to/2epTLo1 (The Power Paradox: How we gain and lose influence) These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!) Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:Show Notes Episode 10The 7 Circuits of Emotion and What Animals Can Teach Us about Human Relating
Join our email list at https://www.therapistuncensored.com (www.therapistuncensored.com) to access our private online community supporting the dissemination of the relational sciences to support healthy connections and relationships around the world! Jaak Panksepp has identified 7 universal, cross-species circuits of emotion that can be located deep within the brain reliably in primates with neocortex functioning – besides humans, this includes rats, mice, guinea pigs, cats and of course larger primates. These networks are not up in the higher cortex, so they don’t involve rational thought, they are in the hypothalamus and amygdala, the more basic security system of the mind. The 7 Basic Circuits of Emotion:SEEKING, PLAY, LUST, CARE – 4 reward circuits FEAR, PANIC/LOSS, RAGE – punishing circuits, most animals want to avoid these emotional reactions Why This Matters in RelationshipsEach circuit was discussed and the interaction of one circuit being activated turning on corresponding circuits of emotion in the other was highlighted. For example distress signals are activated when one is separated from their pack (PANIC/LOSS) turns on the CARE network, drawing others to them in with intent to protect and nurture. RAGE however, and this includes indignation and anger in humans, turns on the same circuit – anger begets anger. What You Can DoSo for those wanting to be closer in their relationships, it is advised to get VULNERABLE, show your distress, feel your needs and you will get the love you are looking for naturally. However get angry about not getting attention and you will get defensiveness and blame. So manipulate your close relationships into nurturing you by squeaking and expressing genuine vulnerability, they won’t be able to resist coming toward you with their hearts open. Get right with your squeak!! It’s in our most basic instincts and this works powerfully! Join our email list at https://www.therapistuncensored.com (www.therapistuncensored.com) to access our private online community supporting the dissemination of the relational sciences to support healthy connections and relationships around the world!
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode:
Jaak Panksepp – http://amzn.to/2dudz99 (Affective Neuroscience Foundation of Emotions in Humans and Animals) Louis Cozolino – http://amzn.to/2cTQEFt (Why Therapy Works Using our Minds to Change our Brains) Joseph Ledoux – http://amzn.to/2duhliY (Anxious: Using the Brain to Understand and Treat Anxiety) Dan Siegel – http://amzn.to/2dvniKx (The Mindful Brain Reflections on Attunement and the Culture of Well-being) These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!) Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:Episode 9: Minding Your Relationship: Three Mindfulness Exercises to Practice With Your Partner
Show NotesWe often stop really seeing and hearing our significant other, so mindfulness in your relationship is a key free resource to add spark and life. Instead of relying on who we think our partner is based on history, we learn to see them anew and get better at connecting without a ton of words.
Learn what mindfulness is and the difference between meditation and mindful awareness practices.
First Mindfulness ExerciseTurn off the electronics and find a few minutes to give undivided attention to your partner (or child, or parent). Find something you haven’t noticed before and relay that, in exquisite detail, to your significant other.
The brain is an anticipation machine, so getting it to slow down and see a familiar face with new eyes is not natural for grown-ups, yet that is exactly how to fall in love all over again, feel sexy, or rediscover the changing being in front of you.
Ellen Langer
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Ellen Langer – http://amzn.to/2cQd1qw (The Power of Mindful Learning) Tara Brock – http://amzn.to/2cPS9EJ (Finding True Refuge: Meditations for Difficult Times) Suzanne Midori Hanna- http://amzn.to/2dpFFTd (The Transparent Brain in Couples and Family Therapy) Stan Tatkin – http://amzn.to/2dpFuqS (Wired for Love) These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!) Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:Show Notes – Therapist UncensoredEpisode 8: Understanding Emotional Triggers: Why Your Buttons Get Pushed and What to Do About ItExcerpt: Therapists explain the neuroscience behind emotional over-reactivity. The term triggers has been co-opted by social media and teens to mean having big feelings, but “trigger” is originally an important psychodynamic term related to trauma. In this episode we discuss the neurobiology behind the experience of being triggered. The channel is right but the volume it too high. It occurs when we feel something stronger than we can understand. Neurobiologically speaking, we are having an implicit memory. Amygdala oriented instead of hippocampal oriented. We talk about the different kinds of trauma that can create triggers. We discuss implicit versus explicit memory and why it’s good to sort this out in relationships, and how we get in all kinds of trouble misattributing implicit memory to current situations. Is it LIVE or is it MEMOREX is an important question for relationships – is my reaction to you in this moment boosted by something that I’m not actually consciously remembering, which would explain why I’m over-reacting a bit? It helps to get curious about that rather than accusatory. Investigate feelings with curiosity and care rather than righteously thinking feelings are facts. We look at how in a relationship the best approach is when we can step back and notice how our nervous system and the other person’s nervous system are reacting. Then we have the choice to go on the ride with them; get dysregulated or consciously use our more regulated state to gently nudge them back toward regulation. Concrete ideas to implement are discussed.
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Marco Iacoboni – http://amzn.to/2dn6Krw (Mirroring People, The Science of Empathy and How We Connect with Others ) Steven Porges – http://amzn.to/2cqPmOE (The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation) Dan Siegel – http://amzn.to/2dvniKx (The Mindful Brain Reflections on Attunement and the Culture of Well-being) These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!) Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:Episode 7: What is Group Therapy and 5 Reasons You Should Try It Show Notes Group therapy is often stereotyped and definitely overlooked as a way to deal with challenges in your life, this episode goes into this is a fun way It offers a chance to experiment with real emotions and aspects of your life. It helps you notice issues and habitual patterns in your life You can try different responses and different behaviors in group that you might not feel comfortable doing in your everyday life and relationships. The other people in the group can offer a variety of different views and perspectives to help you work through things. You can say things honestly to others with the knowledge that everyone will return next week, and you can continue to work through difficulties. Group provides you with a sense of community and belonging. It can really help with issues of social isolation. Group can provide stability that is not always present in personal life. Group is relatively low compared to other therapy, and it can last for longer.
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: http://www.austingroups.org/ (Austin Group Psychotherapy Society): Organization that promotes group therapy and provides training for clinicians http://www.agpa.org/home/about-us/agpa (American Group Psychotherapy Association): National organization that promotes group therapy as a cost effective and clinical valuable treatment. http://amzn.to/2cLq9Pe (Psychodynamic Group Psychotherapy) Scott Rutan Walter Stone and Joseph Shay. These are masters of group. Excellent text for therapists and others eager to learn about group. You can trust these authors. These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!) Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:Attachment 102Show NotesSecure adult relationships are what we are shooting for, with ourself and with close others. Secure relating is connected to neural integration and road maps we have internalized from our childhood. The capacity for security is within all of us no matter our histories. Even if we did not get security as a child, we can develop into it as an adult.http://amzn.to/2bQg2ti (Earned Secure – Dan Siegel ) There are different types of security and insecurity, and we discuss it on a continuum where we all can relate to the different modes of relating rather than only using separate, distinct quadrants. This is an important point of these episodes so that we aren’t trying to categorize or diagnose anyone in particular but we are able to use the concepts to improve our relationships: Avoidant/Dismissive is a kind of organized insecurity that deactivates and by-passes distress. While here, we unconsciously need attachment, but we often do not perceive or have difficulty expressing the need or desire for others. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, I’ll give you something to cry about, Lone Ranger… Anxious/Preoccupied attachment is a kind of organized insecurity where we have difficulty calming down after reaching distress. We are afraid of loss or abandonment – those who identify here can misread negativity into interactions and respond accordingly. There is also another category from the research, called disorganized insecurity. This kind of insecurity has most to do with loss and trauma. This is healable and the brain and body can recover by working through whatever the trauma or loss may be. see http://amzn.to/2c0BxFC (StanTatkin) A part of us is always able to relate in the optimal level and we can keep gaining insight and creating connections so we can deepen and grow the best part of ourselves. Special thanks to our guest psychotherapist, http://www.tracicampbelllcsw.com/ (Traci Campbell)
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Stan Tatkin – http://amzn.to/2cqOxFy (Wired for Love) John Bowlby – http://amzn.to/2c0Bk5e (A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development) Mary Main, Mary Ainsworth both primary researchers with Bowlby. Clinical Application of the Adult Attachment Interview – Howard and Mirium Steele (followed Ainsworth interested in using attachment theory in therapy settings) Steven Porges – http://amzn.to/2cqPmOE (The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation) Stan Tatkin, http://amzn.to/2c0BxFC (Your Brain on Love) Dan Siegel – http://amzn.to/2bQg2ti (Mindsight) These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!) Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:Attachment 101Show NotesSecure relationships are what we are shooting for, with ourself and with close others. Secure relating is connected to neural integration and road maps we have internalized from our childhood. The capacity for security is within all of us no matter our histories. Even if we did not get security as a child, we can develop into it as an adult. http://amzn.to/2bQg2ti (Earned Secure – Dan Siegel ) There are different types of security and insecurity, and we discuss it on a continuum where we all can relate to the different modes of relating rather than only using separate, distinct quadrants. This is an important point of these episodes so that we aren’t trying to categorize or diagnose anyone in particular but we are able to use the concepts to improve our relationships: Attachment StylesAvoidant/Dismissive is a kind of organized insecurity that deactivates and by-passes distress. While here, we unconsciously need attachment, but we often do not perceive or have difficulty expressing the need or desire for others. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, I’ll give you something to cry about, Lone Ranger… Anxious/Preoccupied attachment is a kind of organized insecurity where we have difficulty calming down after reaching distress. We are afraid of loss or abandonment – those who identify here can misread negativity into interactions and respond accordingly. There is also another category from the research, called disorganized insecurity. This kind of insecurity has most to do with loss and trauma. This is healable and the brain and body can recover by working through whatever the trauma or loss may be. see http://amzn.to/2c0BxFC (StanTatkin) A part of us is always able to relate in the optimal level and we can keep gaining insight and creating connections so we can deepen and grow the best part of ourselves. Special thanks to our guest psychotherapist, http://www.tracicampbelllcsw.com/ (Traci Campbell)
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Stan Tatkin – http://amzn.to/2cqOxFy (Wired for Love) John Bowlby – http://amzn.to/2c0Bk5e (A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development) Mary Main, Mary Ainsworth both primary researchers with Bowlby. Clinical Application of the Adult Attachment Interview – Howard and Mirium Steele (followed Ainsworth interested in using attachment theory in therapy settings) Steven Porges – http://amzn.to/2cqPmOE (The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation) Stan Tatkin, http://amzn.to/2c0BxFC (Your Brain on Love) Dan Siegel – http://amzn.to/2bQg2ti (Mindsight) These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!) Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:Unequal Sexual Desire, Podcast Episode 3 of Therapist Uncensored Show Notes Understanding sexuality, emotions and sexual desire in long-term relationships can help keep the fires burning and conflict – or drift – at bay. Unequal desire is normal, but the most important part of a sexual relationship is the ability to communicate about it in a safe, unshaming way. At times unequal desire may be connected to the different way sexuality is experienced in our partner’s body. If this difference does exist and is misperceived, couples can often start believing that something is wrong with themselves or the relationship. This misperception alone can be a huge source of diminishing returns for sexuality and relationships. The rule is variability – speaking in gendered terms is not our aim – but recognizing the differences in sex drives, sex roles and physiology can be useful. Some people do not feel desire until they are stimulated. It can help to start playing around with sexuality, keep genitals or goal of orgasm out of it Interest + Obstacle = Desire – a little distance or space to feel your desire (Perel). It can help to reevaluate the things that you and your partner want in sex. What are their no-go’s? What are yours? What are their “I haven’t, but maybe’s?” What are yours? So, if no other point comes home, remember that what one believes, how they communicate that belief, and how safe they feel with differences has a tremendous impact on the vitality of sexuality!! Sleep naked and discuss sex, even if you are struggling having it!
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: http://www.jefflutespsychotherapy.com/ (Jeff Lutes) Esther Perel – http://amzn.to/2bya40E (Mating in Captivity), lassic book on maintaining passion in long-term relationships John Gottman – http://amzn.to/2bkWO0z (The Relaltionship Cure), practical advice for couples based in research These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!) Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:Brain Science 101: How Understanding Your Brain Can Improve Your Relationships Show Notes This episode offers a foundation for future episodes. This is key to understanding the relational brain so that you can use that information to help build secure relationships. Everyone has security in them or the capacity for it, no matter what background you show up with There are three specific structures that affect our sense of well-being The prefrontal cortex – the front of the brain. This is where we want to live in – it is our most mature, “adult” flexible self If our lights are on here, we can be our best selves. We will be compassionate, be able to perspective take from other people’s positions, and function more like the grown ups we mean to be This works slower and needs more time to respond. It is a challenge especially if you have a rough or neglected history The hippocampus This modulates memory, and the autobiographical narrative of ourselves For example, the more that we can remember our past and our future with each interaction, the more we can stay in the higher part of our mind (pre-frontal cortex – PFC). The amygdala This is primitive, more basic part of the mind and is physically lower in the brain It is about assessing danger and threat. This is your fight or flight, your guard dog, is at the level of mammalian interactions – fight flight flee (freeze) It exaggerates and works really fast. It’s not good at discerning things. It sees in black and white and is only out to protect the body. When we perceive significant enough threat, our prefrontal cortex will turn down and our amygdala will increase in activation. In this state, the amygdala will respond as if things are actually a threat (shark music plays). Once our prefrontal cortex has time to perceive this, though, we can see nuance, differences, and diffuse threat. Goal is to get PFC back online, this takes time. Suggestion: Two-sided walk if your amygdala is activated. Walk as far as you want and feel angry and self-righteous. When you get tired and turn around, though, you have to spend the walk back considering the opposing perspective. This engages the PFC. Brain plasticity. Our brain structure is formed by patterns in behavior, but those patterns can be changed. Knowing that your threat system is activated and seeing our own warning signs allows us to work against responding automatically. It gives us choice, responsiveness. Practicing this can physically alter the structure of our brain in a way that permanently helps us.
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (RESOURCES:)Additional resources for this episode: Dan Siegel: http://amzn.to/2bjYVNf (Mindsight) – Dr. Siegel is a master and father of INPB (Interpersonal Neurobiology). If you are seriously interested in this field you must master his works. This book is in between clinicians and everyone else. His parenting books are great for everyone, his original text is highly technical and for clinicians, I recommend reading in a study group to absorb the goodness. http://amzn.to/2bGRXoG (The Developing Mind) – this is the one mentioned above, for clinicians. It is a must for INPB, and recommended to read in study group with other therapists for best application of these master ideas. Jack Panksepp – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65e2qScV_K8 (Life Without Emotion TED Talk) – free recommended video These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!) Support this podcast
IN THIS EPISODE:This episode is the first of a series of foundational pieces we will provide on relational science and building secure relationships. Thank you for checking out the show!! It has a longer than usual monologue at the beginning but then rolls into the normal 3-way conversation. Hey we are just figuring this stuff out. 🙂 Main concept – no matter what your history everyone has the capacity to grow secure relationships and improve their sense of security in themselves There are three specific structures that affect our sense of well-being The prefrontal cortex – functions described in detail The hippocampus The amygdala Suggestion: Two-sided walk if your amygdala is activated.Walk as far as you want and feel angry and self-righteous. When you get ready and turn around, though, you have to spend the walk back considering the opposing perspective. This engages the PFC. Brain plasticity – this is awesome news! Our brain structure is formed by patterns in behavior, but those patterns can be changed. Knowing that your threat system is activated and seeing our own warning signs allows us to work against responding automatically. It gives us choice, responsiveness. Practicing can physically alter the structure of our brain in a way that permanently helps us. Stay tunes for more episodes on attachment and how to build secure relationships
Additional resources for this episode:John Gottman http://amzn.to/2bPC8dI (The Seven Principals to Making a Marriage Work… )this is one of the basic foundational works from a researcher who is scientifically explaining misery and happiness. for everyone. http://amzn.to/2bPDZPv (How to Make Love Last) – Gottman. A more recent work by this research team. This is another Gottman work, but this time on parenting. http://amzn.to/2bPDBR7 (Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child…) for parents. These and other resources have been collected for you https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/ (on our Resources page!) Support this podcast