The Mindset for Life Podcast: Recent Episodes
Bethanie Hansen
This is the Mindset for Life podcast, a place for personal stories, coaching, neuroscience and my favorite positive psychology tools to master life, relationships and work. I'm your host. Bethanie Hansen.Hello, wonderful listeners! Welcome to another exciting episode of ‘Mindset For Life,’ where we dive deep into the tools and strategies that help you live your best life. I’m Bethanie Hansen, and today, we’re going to explore the powerful practice of setting goals for success by visioning your ideal workday. Whether you’re tuning in during your morning commute or winding down after a long day, I’m thrilled to have you here with me!Let me start with a personal story. A few years ago, I was stuck in a rut, feeling overwhelmed and unproductive. I decided to try something different: I sat down and visualized my perfect workday. I imagined waking up refreshed, having a productive morning, engaging in meaningful work, and ending the day feeling accomplished. This simple exercise transformed my approach to work and life. It gave me clarity and a sense of purpose that I hadn’t felt in a long time.Coaching Neuroscience InsightNow, let’s dive into some fascinating science. Did you know that visualization can actually rewire your brain? According to coaching neuroscience, when you visualize a successful outcome, your brain generates the same neural pathways as if you were actually experiencing that outcome (Rock, 2006). This means that by regularly visualizing your ideal workday, you’re training your brain to make it a reality.Positive Psychology ToolOne powerful tool from positive psychology that can help you change a specific habit is the practice of gratitude journaling. By writing down three things you’re grateful for each day, you can shift your focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right. This simple habit can improve your mood, increase your resilience, and help you build a more positive outlook on life (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).Visioning Your Ideal WorkdaySo, how do you start visioning your ideal workday? Here are some steps to guide you: Find a Quiet Space: Sit in a comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed. Close Your Eyes: Take a few deep breaths to relax. Visualize in Detail: Imagine every aspect of your perfect workday. What time do you wake up? What do you eat for breakfast? How do you feel as you start your work? Picture yourself handling tasks efficiently, interacting positively with colleagues, and ending the day with a sense of accomplishment. Write It Down: After your visualization, jot down the details. This helps reinforce the vision and makes it more tangible. Set Goals: Based on your vision, set specific, achievable goals. For example, if your ideal day includes a morning workout, set a goal to exercise three times a week.In today’s episode, we explored the transformative power of setting goals for success by visioning your ideal workday. We discussed how visualization can rewire your brain, supported by insights from coaching neuroscience (Rock, 2006). We also introduced gratitude journaling as a positive psychology tool to help you change habits and master life, relationships, and work (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).These practices are integral to life and wellbeing coaching, helping you create a fulfilling and balanced life.If you’re feeling overwhelmed or on the brink of burnout, now might be the perfect time to consider making a change. Many people seek coaching to gain clarity, set meaningful goals, and build resilience.Thank you for joining me today! If you have any questions or want to share your experiences, feel free to reach out. Remember, you have the power to create the life you envision. Until next time, stay positive and keep striving for success! Rock, D. (2006). Quiet Leadership: Six Steps to Transforming Performance at Work. HarperBusiness. Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003).
This is the Mindset for Life podcast, a place for personal stories, coaching, neuroscience and my favorite positive psychology tools to master life, relationships and work. I'm your host. Bethanie Hansen.Welcome back to another episode of the “Mindset for Life Podcast.” I’m absolutely delighted to have you here today. Whether you’re tuning in during your morning coffee, on your commute, or winding down after a busy day, thank you for joining me. Today, we’re exploring a transformative topic: “Mindfulness in Education: Enhancing Focus and Well-Being.”Let’s start with a story about Ms. Thompson, a dedicated elementary school teacher. Ms. Thompson used to feel overwhelmed by the daily challenges of teaching. However, after incorporating mindfulness practices into her routine, she found herself more grounded, focused, and resilient. Her newfound calmness positively impacted her students, creating a more harmonious classroom environment.Here are Seven Key Points on Mindfulness in Education Staying Grounded Amidst Challenges Enhancing Focus and Attention Building Resilience Improving Emotional Well-Being Creating a Positive Classroom Environment Enhancing Teacher-Student Relationships Boosting Academic PerformanceWhat It Looks Like to Practice MindfulnessMs. Garcia, a high school teacher, started practicing mindfulness meditation for 10 minutes each morning. She noticed a significant reduction in her stress levels and an improvement in her overall mood. Her calm demeanor positively influenced her students, who became more relaxed and engaged in class. Mr. Lee, a middle school teacher, introduced a brief mindfulness exercise at the beginning of each class. His students learned to focus their attention on their breath for a few minutes. Over time, he observed that his students were more attentive and less distracted during lessons.Live Mindfulness ExerciseLet’s take a moment to practice mindfulness together. Find a comfortable seated position, close your eyes if you feel comfortable, and take a deep breath in through your nose, and slowly exhale through your mouth. Focus on your breath, noticing the sensation of the air entering and leaving your body. If your mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to your breath. Let’s do this for one minute.Great job! You can practice this simple exercise anytime you need to center yourself. Remember, mindfulness is about being present in the moment without judgment.Neuroscience Behind MindfulnessMindfulness works by engaging the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for executive functions like attention and decision-making. It also reduces activity in the amygdala, the brain’s stress center, leading to lower stress levels and improved emotional regulation (Tang et al., 2015).Practical Neuroscience Coaching TipIncorporate mindfulness into your daily routine by setting aside a few minutes each day for mindful breathing or meditation. This practice can help rewire your brain for greater focus and emotional resilience.Positive Psychology Coaching ExerciseExercise: Mindful Reflection• Personal Life Example: At the end of each day, take a few minutes to reflect on three things you are grateful for. Write them down and notice how this practice shifts your mindset over time.• Teaching Example: After each class, reflect on one positive interaction you had with a student. Write it down and consider how these moments contribute to a positive classroom environment.To wrap up, mindfulness in education can significantly enhance focus and well-being for both teachers and students. By staying present, managing stress, and fostering positive relationships, we can create a more supportive and effective learning environment. Remember, the key to success lies in our mindset and the small, consistent actions we take every day.Thank you for joining me on this episode of the “Mindset for Life Podcast.
This is the Mindset for Life podcast, a place for personal stories, coaching, neuroscience and my favorite positive psychology tools to master life, relationships and work. I'm your host. Bethanie Hansen.Hello, amazing listeners! Welcome back to another episode of the “Mindset for Life Podcast.” I’m absolutely thrilled to have you here today. Whether you’re listening during your morning routine, on your way to work, or winding down after a long day, thank you for joining me. Today, we’re diving into a transformative topic: “The Power of Positivity: Cultivating a Growth Mindset in Education.”Let’s start with a story about Mr. Johnson, a high school math teacher. Mr. Johnson used to believe that his students’ abilities were fixed. However, after learning about the growth mindset, he began to see potential in every student. By encouraging effort and resilience, he witnessed remarkable improvements in his students’ performance and attitudes.Top Seven Impacts of a Growth Mindset on Teaching Performance and Student Outcomes Enhanced Student Engagement Story: Ms. Lee, an elementary school teacher, noticed her students were more engaged when she praised their efforts rather than their intelligence. This shift led to a more dynamic and interactive classroom environment. Insight: According to Carol Dweck, students with a growth mindset are more likely to embrace challenges and persist in the face of setbacks (Dweck, 2006). Improved Academic Performance Story: Mr. Patel, a middle school science teacher, implemented growth mindset principles by encouraging students to view mistakes as learning opportunities. His students’ test scores improved significantly over the year. Insight: Research shows that students who believe their abilities can be developed perform better academically (Blackwell, Trzesniewski, & Dweck, 2007). Greater Resilience Story: Mrs. Garcia, a high school English teacher, shared stories of famous authors who faced rejection. Her students learned to see failure as a stepping stone to success. Insight: A growth mindset fosters resilience, helping students recover from setbacks more effectively (Yeager & Dweck, 2012). Positive Classroom Environment Story: Mr. Thompson, a history teacher, created a classroom culture where students celebrated each other’s progress. This positive environment reduced competition and increased collaboration. Insight: A growth mindset promotes a supportive and collaborative classroom atmosphere (Boaler, 2016). Increased Motivation Story: Ms. Nguyen, a music teacher, encouraged her students to set personal goals and track their progress. This practice boosted their motivation and commitment to practice. Insight: Students with a growth mindset are more motivated to learn and achieve their goals (Dweck, 2006). Enhanced Teacher Satisfaction Story: Mr. Brown, a veteran teacher, found renewed joy in teaching after adopting a growth mindset. He felt more fulfilled seeing his students grow and succeed. Insight: Teachers who embrace a growth mindset experience greater job satisfaction and professional growth (Rattan, Good, & Dweck, 2012). Better Student-Teacher Relationships Story: Ms. Robinson, a special education teacher, built stronger relationships with her students by focusing on their potential and progress. Her students felt more supported and understood. Insight: A growth mindset strengthens the student-teacher relationship, fostering trust and respect (Ricci, 2013).I’d love to hear your stories about implementing a growth mindset in your teaching. Share your experiences on my website, DrBCoach.Com, for a chance to be featured in a future episode. Your insights could inspire and help others on their journey!Why a Growth Mindset WorksA growth mindset works because it changes the way we perceive challenges and setbacks. Neuroscience shows that our brains are capable of form...
This is the Mindset for Life podcast, a place for personal stories, coaching, neuroscience and my favorite positive psychology tools to master life, relationships and work. I'm your host. Bethanie Hansen.Welcome back to another exciting episode of the “Mindset for Life Podcast.” I’m thrilled to have you here today. Whether you’re tuning in from your morning commute, a cozy corner of your home, or during a well-deserved break, thank you for joining me. Today, we’re diving into a topic that’s close to my heart and incredibly impactful: “Unlocking Peak Performance: Mindset Secrets of Top Educators.”Here are the Top Five Routines and Mental Strategies: Morning Mindfulness Neuroscience Tip: Practicing mindfulness in the morning can activate the prefrontal cortex, enhancing focus and decision-making throughout the day. Positive Psychology Exercise: Start your day with a five-minute mindfulness meditation. Focus on your breath and set a positive intention for the day. This simple practice can reduce stress and increase emotional regulation. Goal Setting and Visualization Neuroscience Tip: Visualization activates the brain’s neural pathways, similar to actual performance, improving motivation and performance. Positive Psychology Exercise: Spend a few minutes each day visualizing your goals. Picture yourself achieving them and experiencing the associated emotions. This can boost your confidence and clarity. Reflective Journaling Neuroscience Tip: Journaling can enhance neural processing and emotional intelligence by allowing the brain to process and organize thoughts. Positive Psychology Exercise: At the end of each day, write down three things you’re grateful for and one lesson learned. This practice builds growth mindset and gratitude. Physical Activity Neuroscience Tip: Regular physical activity increases the production of BDNF (Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor), which supports cognitive function and mental health. Positive Psychology Exercise: Incorporate at least 20 minutes of physical activity into your daily routine. Whether it’s a brisk walk, yoga, or a workout, it can significantly boost your mood and energy levels. Continuous Learning Neuroscience Tip: Engaging in new learning experiences stimulates neuroplasticity, keeping the brain agile and adaptable. Positive Psychology Exercise: Dedicate time each week to learn something new. It could be a new teaching strategy, a hobby, or a subject of interest. This keeps your mind sharp and your teaching practice fresh.To wrap up, the journey to unlocking peak performance as an educator is deeply rooted in mindset. By incorporating mindfulness, goal setting, reflective journaling, physical activity, and continuous learning into your daily routine, you can transform not only your teaching practice but also your overall well-being. Remember, the key to success lies in the small, consistent actions we take every day.Thank you for joining me on this episode of the “Mindset for Life Podcast.” If you’re feeling inspired and ready to make a change, now is the perfect time to start. Reach out, share your stories, and let’s continue this journey together. Until next time, stay positive, stay motivated, and here’s to being the best version of you!Sources Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House. Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are. Guilford Press. Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. Free Press. Ratey, J. J. (2008). Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain. Little, Brown and Company. Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Gotham Books.Join me for today's episode!This episode's theme song is "Take It Up A Level" by...
This is the Mindset for Life podcast, a place for personal stories, coaching, neuroscience and my favorite positive psychology tools to master life, relationships and work. I'm your host. Bethanie Hansen. Welcome, welcome. I'm so glad you're here. We're going to talk about automatic thoughts and the 3 good things habitWe're going to talk about a positive psychology tool called "3 Good Things," a little bit of coaching neuroscience on interrupting your automatic thoughts to create new neural connections, and a story about seven good things on Monday. The theme of this podcast is about habits and windows where you can change them.And really the problem is that we all have well-intended changes that just don't happen. For example, I have a box of things on the floor of my bedroom. Now, I'm not in the habit of just keeping a box here and there for no reason. I set the box there perhaps a year ago, and I thought, I'll go through the things in this box, and I'll deal with them, and I'll put them away and take care of them.And then life happened, and a lot of things happen, then the box is still sitting there. I saw that box today, and I thought, what is it that keeps me from changing the routine of my day to stop and take care of this box? Why is my life so routine oriented?What about you? Do you have routines and habits that you experience in your life?I bet you do we all do. We get up in the morning and we do certain things. Then we go to work, or we go to school or whatever we're going to do, and we do certain things. Then when we get back to the home, we again do certain things, and then we finish out our day with habits of certain things that may or may not be the daily habit, but we typically live in habits, and our brains have habits too.So, our brains have all kinds of habits that keep us from doing the things we think we want to do. Something else takes over, and we don't do the thing, or we do something else instead. I've always been fascinated with this, really.I am amazed by the power of the brain to control everything we do. So, we have well intended changes that don't happen. And this happens for a lot of reasons. I've collected a little list of these reasons, in case one of these is hitting you right now, so you know, it's kind of a normal thing.SELF SABOTAGESo self-sabotage comes from a lot of things. One of them is fear of failure. Another one is fear of success. Imagine, what if I succeed? Others will expect me to keep performing at this level. I have to work harder all the time, or fear of failure, like, what if I don't do it just right, what if it's not perfect, I'll never be able to keep going. So, either way, fear of failure or fear of success, these things can really get in our way.Not feeling mature enough, old enough, or wise or experienced enough to take on that task. Or maybe not even feeling enough ownership of the thing. So, we self-sabotage because we just don't think we're the right person to do it.Maybe we lack self-awareness. We have these negative thought patterns, and we don't have any idea that we're thinking them. I know that happened to me yet again recently, when I learned something new about myself and realized I had been thinking a certain thing about myself for my entire life without even realizing it. A lot of this self-awareness has come up for me over time, but here I am, age 51 and continuing to learn that I have thought certain things since my childhood that just never came up before.Or maybe another self-sabotage source is poor coping with pressure, like we have a lot on our plate, so then we end up sleeping too much because we're feeling down or overwhelmed, or sleeping too little because we think if we work harder, we'll get it all done. Then, we're exhausted and can't get anything done. Or maybe we're just feeling inadequate or eating foods that cause brain fog. Or other physical factors that keep us from being able to even function to ...
This is the Mindset for Life podcast, a place for personal stories, coaching, neuroscience and my favorite positive psychology tools to master life, relationships and work. I'm your host. Bethanie Hansen. Welcome, welcome. I'm so glad you're here. We're going to talk about a mindset to do something new.Have you ever set a goal before, and you thought like, I'll start Monday, or I'll start January 1, or I'll start at the first of the month, that'll be a good time to measure my progress?But whatever it is that you want to take up to the next level, the first step is today, and the mindset I want to share with you today is that ongoing, continuous improvement mindset. So, maybe you've been coached before, or maybe not. Either way, I'm glad you're here, and I want to talk about Coach philosophy a little bit.I have had so many coaches in my life because I've gone to coach trainings and schools. I've had peer coach partners that have worked with me, and I've been coached a lot, so I have set a lot of goals. And sometimes I've done those goals for a week or two, or even a few months, and I've come away from some coaching sessions with totally new ideas, but a lot of times I have good intentions. I'll set a goal with a coach and it'll last a day or two.Has that ever happened with your goals? I would really like to make a big change, a permanent change, and that's going to take more than just a little bit of resolve.Today, if that's you, if you're looking for taking something up a level, let's do a little bit of inventory.The first thing to adopt a mindset of continuous improvement is to realize it's a journey instead of a destination. Some of the goals we used to set for ourselves might have been destination-oriented. Like, we want to achieve a certain ability physically, like run under a certain time limit, or be able to do a certain number of crunches or push ups or pull ups, or maybe to lose a little bit of weight or get a certain amount of sleep. There are a lot of physical goals we can set, and they're easy to measure because we either do them or we don't do them.But other goals about improving ourselves, personally and professionally, a lot of those goals don't have destinations. They're what I call “process goals.”They're the kind of goals where we have to become the kind of person who would do that sort of thing to reach that goal.One of those things is leadership. For example, if you want to be a really good leader and you're thinking about becoming a better speaker publicly, the first step is actually learning to listen better. So if I was going to set a goal around my listening, I would have to start there. And I don't want to wait till Monday morning or the first of the month, or even wait clear till January 1. What I want to do is start today. The first step is today, in the next hour, two hours, or even in the next five minutes.Taking this all the way means committing now and just working on it intentionally. That first step is to intentionally move in the direction that you want to go. That intention is everything. As soon as you decide you're really gonna do it, and you think about it, you reflect on it, you journal about it, you learn more about that thing, you study it out, and you start to occupy your mind with that goal.Pretty soon your subconscious brain becomes your partner, and it helps you to get there. And all kinds of opportunities come into your life to give you chances to grow in that way.You might not be sure what you really want, but you probably know what you don't want, and we could start right there.So whatever it is you don't want, what is it that's going to fill that space? So whatever your goal is, in whether it's a physical, intellectual, emotional, social or spiritual goal, you could decide, well, what, what don't you want first? And what would you want instead of that?Even if it's not the end goal,
[DRAFT] Join me for today's episode! This episode's theme song is "Keep On Going" by Bethanie Hansen and SUNO AI. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. And I share them in 1:1 and workshop work with teachers who want a change in their lives, career direction, or relationships, and just aren't sure how to start. With a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can figure out where to start and how to get the changes you really want. Feel like hiding when a difficult parent wants to meet with you? Get my free guide to talk to difficult parents, and relax. This guide will help you set the tone, focus on what you can control, and take that conversation in a new direction.You won't want to miss it!Get the Free Guide
Have you been wondering how to stop comparing yourself to others? It can be one way to compete and set goals, but generally, comparing ourselves to others is discouraging. It keeps us from using our strengths and feeling great. Today's we will look at the problem of comparing ourselves to other people and talk about how to stop doing it. Join me for today's episode! This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, to live with purpose and joy as we make each day a little better. And when we do that, we're putting good into the world. Right here, you have the tools to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can live your true purpose with joy, every day.
This is a short bonus episode to encourage you in a goal to get up early in the morning. If you have a habit you're trying to develop, sometimes habits work best when you complete them early in the day. For example, a person might set a goal to exercise daily. Exercising early in the morning ensures that it gets done. Another person might set a goal to write a book. Writing a page every morning also makes a little progress every day. If you keep adding 1% each day, anything will eventually get finished.Oh yeah, and I've included a motivational song, just for you! Join me for today's episode! This episode's theme song is "Keep On Going" by Bethanie Hansen and SUNO AI. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. And I share them in 1:1 and workshop work with teachers who want a change in their lives, career direction, or relationships, and just aren't sure how to start. With a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can figure out where to start and how to get the changes you really want. Feel like hiding when a difficult parent wants to meet with you? Get my free guide to talk to difficult parents, and relax. This guide will help you set the tone, focus on what you can control, and take that conversation in a new direction.You won't want to miss it!Get the Free Guide
If you are struggling to keep your thoughts focused on where you are going, with a positive focus, consider these five tips for a healthy mindset for life.1. Acknowledge when you're using a growth mindset.2. Adopt the habits and thoughts you would like to have through modeling others.3. Look at good examples from your own past to trigger a healthy mindset.4. Read inspiring ideas by others promoting your desired mindset.5. Surround yourself with others who are trying to move in the same direction you want to go.At the end of today's episode, enjoy a new song I've written with AI help, about a great day! This episode's theme song is "The Perfect Kind of Day" by Bethanie Hansen and SUNO AI. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. And I share them in 1:1 and workshop work with teachers who want a change in their lives, career direction, or relationships, and just aren't sure how to start. With a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can figure out where to start and how to get the changes you really want. Feel like hiding when a difficult parent wants to meet with you? Get my free guide to talk to difficult parents, and relax. This guide will help you set the tone, focus on what you can control, and take that conversation in a new direction.You won't want to miss it!Get the Free Guide
If you are dealing with someone who annoys you in any way, today's podcast shares 3 secrets about reframing your current experience to find patience and, eventually, love. I'll share positive psychology principles by Dr. Martin Seligman, who is well-known for his work on flourishing, happiness, and meaning. And if you listen to the end, you'll hear a song I wrote about the way weather (just like people) is always changing. Join me for today's episode! This episode's theme song is “The Weather's Always Changing,” by Bethanie Hansen and SUNO AI. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. And I share them in 1:1 and workshop work with teachers who want a change in their lives, career direction, or relationships, and just aren't sure how to start. With a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can figure out where to start and how to get the changes you really want. Feel like hiding when a difficult parent wants to meet with you? Get my free guide to talk to difficult parents, and relax. This guide will help you set the tone, focus on what you can control, and take that conversation in a new direction.You won't want to miss it!Get the Free Guide
Who doesn't need more confidence? Today, we'll look at small ways to succeed with confidence in life, relationships, and work. Join me! This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, to live with purpose and joy as we make each day a little better. And when we do that, we're putting good into the world. Right here, you have the tools to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can live your true purpose with joy, every day.
In today's episode of the Mindset for Life podcast, we focus on how you decide whether you had a good day, looking at biases. Armed with this approach, you can always decide that you had a good day, or take initiative to design a good day you'll be pleased about. This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, to live with purpose and joy as we make each day a little better. And when we do that, we're putting good into the world. Right here, you have the tools to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can live your true purpose with joy, every day.
In today's episode of the Mindset for Life podcast, we focus on how you can notice messengers in your life. Doing this helps you feel more motivated, adds encouragement, and lifts you. And, on the flip side, you can be a messenger to others by sharing your ideas, who you are, and your light.Have you ever had a thought of just feeling like you needed a push in the right direction?Maybe you wanted to start something new, or do a project, or take a risk, or even try a new direction in your life or your work, or something like that. And you're thinking about it, and you have all these ideas. But for some reason, you just aren't taking the action you want to take. Or maybe you're trying it occasionally. And it's just really hard for you to be consistent. I can definitely relate to this.I think we all have these ideas and dreams of things we'd like to go out and try. I certainly have a lot of mine, especially with my coaching business. You know I have a podcast because you're here listening to it. I also have coaching programs and one-on-one coaching that I do with people. And then I have my full-time job in the daytime. That is my career position that takes the bulk of my energy, focus, and time.There are so many options in all these areas. And, just like you, I might have some idea, and then I might take some action and then might backup a little bit, and then take some more action. And then maybe I'm going to go in a different direction altogether. But whatever it is, a lot of times, I will just spin in this little cycle of trying things out and then feeling stuck. Well, sometimes you may be doing the same thing.And we have these experiences where people step into our lives that--maybe we know these people, maybe there's somebody we don't know--but they speak to us. And it's like there are messengers passing in and out of our lives. And they bring us some kind of message that can motivate us to just keep going a little more.Notice messengers in your life.It's like taking a step out of the light that you're in into a little bit of the unknown, or a little bit of the darkness, until you get a little bit more willing to try something.And then another messenger or message will come into your life. And you'll be encouraged to take just another little step and maybe do something more. I had one of those experiences in my life recently.There was a colleague of mine that I used to work with at the university, whom I really loved. This person is brilliantly intelligent, and always encourages good ideas, good projects. This person was one of the best people to motivate me to try new research and publish some things. And even writing the book that I wrote a few years back was motivated from the encouragement this person gave me. And then slowly over time, we spoke on the phone less and less, we got together face to face less and less. And at this point, it's been many, many months since I spoke with this colleague of mine. He's retired now we don't work together anymore.Just the other day I started thinking about him. I thought I should call Dr. Bill. And my son, my oldest son who's 25, we were together Sunday for dinner. The whole family was there. And I was talking about something and out of the blue. He said, "Hey, when's the last time you talked to Dr. Bill? Don't you think you should call him?"I thought that was really strange. Just this week, I was thinking I should call Dr. Bill. I didn't do it yet. A few more days passed. And then yesterday, who called me? Dr. Bill called me. And it was like, in my mind, there was this message that kept coming to me: You need to talk to Dr. Bill. And when I finally did because he reached out to me, I just hadn't done it yet, it was absolutely motivating. He has a ray of light in his personality, that at all times just shines so brightly.He's having some challenges of his own in his own life, but he is so positive about them.
Thank you for joining me today! I know that if you are listening to this episode, you want to be lifted up. To feel amazing. And to keep brining in positive thoughts so that you can get through another day. You are unique, and you are wonderful. And even on the lower days when you’re not really sure, It’s absolutely true that there is no one in the world like you.You have a personality, gifts and talents, and strengths. And your own experiences and perspectives. We need you in the world today, and there are people in your life who need you. I’m pleased to be with you sharing ideas of strength and encouragement to help foster your mindset of hope today.So here is our topic: You matter, even if no one else tells you. You are significant. How will you let that fuel you every day?Let's Look Back to the Start of Our Business, in 2019.Back in December, 2019, I posted something on my DrBCoach Facebook page. And today, I looked back and saw it. It’s been 4 years since I officially started as an entrepreneur leading a coaching business, and this idea is one that I shared in those first few months of the business.So now, the rest of our episode, I’ll read some of that post to you from 2019.Earlier this week, I thought about "significance." Significance is your importance.I had a moment recently when I thought someone wasn't really a friend.For a day or two, it really bothered me. I let it get into my brain, and I started to feel insignificant.As I reflected, considered, and talked it out, I realized I was making myself feel that way.The other person wasn't really doing anything to me.I felt "less" because of the thoughts I had about the situation, not because of any reality.The truth was that I couldn't really know what the other person was thinking. And I can't control that, anyway.But I can know and control what I think.Have you ever felt a bit "less" because you believed someone else didn't really care?You are still you, no matter what other people think.Our thoughts about other's thoughts do not change our actual significance.I would like to propose a new idea....Perhaps significance is something WE think, and then feel, not what other people give us.Perhaps it is our perception of our own value.We control it and can think about it as "how we show up."Do you ever think that someone needs to pay attention to you, to make you feel significant?Or do you believe that perhaps you need "followers," or an audience to be significant?If we control our thoughts about whether or not we are significant, we can turn all of these doubting thoughts around and feel better.And when we feel better, we can be creative, energetic, loving, and bring positivity to life.What Steps Can You Take to Feel Significant?How to do it? List what you can do to feel your significance, without needing other people to reflect it back.Here are some things on my list: Show gratitude for other people in my life. Call someone I haven't spoken to in a while and visit over the phone. Visit a friend to cheer them. Send a note to someone I've been thinking about, to tell them something special I've noticed about them. Text a note of appreciation to someone I have learned from.What more can be added to this list?What activities can boost your thoughts about your significance without needing feedback from others?This week, think about it.You are important.You are significant.You don't need to hear it from others, it's already there.You have unique traits, worth, and value just by being you. And when you can think and feel your worth, you are able to use your wonderful traits even more.Here's to being the best YOU this week!This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life.
Hello there, my friend, welcome to the Mindset for Life Podcast. I'm glad you're here. And if you're here, that means you want to know something about mindset and what we're going to talk about today, the topic is self-compassion.Now normally, my podcast focuses on mindset, and typically we're talking about positive mindset. Like how to wake up happy, how to get out of bed excited in the morning, something like that. But today, we're going to talk about self-compassion. This is an interesting new concept for some people, so I hope you'll stay with me.Achievement, habits, routines, strategies, attitudes; these are all tools to be our best. To move forward, to achieve our goals, to do things that we never thought we could do. And they serve us well most of the time. But as you know, life is like the waves on a sandy beach; it actually ebbs and flows. The tide of our lives rolls in and out. Sometimes things are going very well. Sometimes we're succeeding. Our efforts will lead to those achievements and the changes that we want to have.And sometimes we experience the totally unexpected. Perhaps it is that something just didn't turn out the way we planned. Or there's an unexpected stall or interruption in our progress or our plans. And sometimes it's much more. Perhaps it's a permanent change, loss. There's grief and pain. We're not really sure what to do. How do we talk to ourselves in times like these?Over the past six months, I've had a lot of family things happening. About six months ago, my mother had a health change. And now she's at home in hospice care and everything is different. It's been a truly emotional time and not one that we anticipated or really wanted to welcome into our lives. I stayed overnight because mom's health was not good. Things were not looking great. And we just wanted to both be with her, so my sister and I were there. And I probably got about four hours asleep. I finally realized it was time to go home and to meet my husband, who was coming home from a motorcycling trip with some friends.He had a major motorcycle accident. The long story short is that we ended up going to the emergency room and found that he had broken eight ribs on the left side and bruised a lung. He'll have many more weeks of recovery right now.I put these two events together because one was unfolding over a long time and I was engaged in that. The other one came suddenly.And both events with my mother and my husband were things that none of us would have wanted in our lives. We wouldn't have invited the health challenge with our mother. And we would never have invited my husband to have a motorcycle accident. Both of these things present a lot of challenges, ongoing, and it would be easy to be self-critical of a lot of things. It would be easy to be self critical of like not measuring up to helping people, or I need to work harder. Why am I not getting enough done? Or something like that. There are a lot of thoughts that any of us in these situations could be having.And some of us have inner thoughts that are super unkind, like a mean, inner critical thought. We might give grace to everyone else if they were in a similar situation, but not to ourselves.We're not sure how to move through that experience.And we might forget things. We might struggle to achieve at the rate we used to, we have to keep going to work. We might take a few days off, and then we have to get back into the flow and go back to work. There's a lot going on with all of this.This idea of self-compassion is a really helpful antidote to all of the angsty feelings and the negative inner critic that might be coming in during situations like this, or even those feelings of deep despair that we're having. I'd like to give you a few tips. And then I'm going to talk a little bit more about self-compassion. So If you're going through it right now, through something hard, something really challenging or unexpected,
Does Anything Good Ever Happen to Me?Hey there, this is Bethanie, your coach. I'm so excited to be with you today!I want to talk with you about saboteurs in your brain, and it's an answer to a question that some people ask themselves all the time. Are you a person who ever wonders if anything good ever happens in your life?Why might it seem that after a good start, things eventually just don’t work out?I have noticed that more and more people I get to know and work with, and meet, have this thought. There are people all over the world who believe nothing good ever happens to them. That things just don't work out. When they get their hopes up, or when you get your hopes up, things get in the way. Someone will stop your progress, or someone will block your direction that you're trying to go.Whatever it is that seems to be getting in the way of your dreams, some of us have even stopped dreaming, or setting goals, or wanting to do anything new in the future.For you, I want to speak directly to you today with some experiences that I've had in working with some of my coaching clients.As a teacher, as an educator, I often get people in my classes who just want to learn something new. And they come, and they learn something new. In my younger professional life, it was that they would learn how to play a musical instrument. And then as I got older, and I moved into the online college world, it became music appreciation.And even then, when people would come to learn something musical, we never really got into the automatic thoughts that we have about ourselves. Sometimes, we cover them when we're talking about your study skills. Or how you can be a better student, or how you can take this knowledge and go out into the world and do something with it. But, it's in coaching other people that I have learned so many of us have these thoughts, believing that we are bad or that we are fundamentally flawed in some way.Or there's a reason that we don't get “picked” for things, or that people just don't like us, or maybe nothing good ever seems to really happen on its own. If it happens, it's luck.But if you're trying to make it happen, it's just not going to work out. I want to reach out to you today because I don't believe these thoughts are true.Here is an explanation about what gets in the way.In fact, over the last year, I came across a system of thinking called the Positive Intelligence operating system invented by a man named Shirzad Chamine, who was a Stanford student; and he had an experience that you might be able to relate to.He was interacting with some classmates in a group, and he learned that they did not like him. They didn't like the way he behaved. They thought he was arrogant, and they were really offended by the way he behaved.He had no idea.He actually did not realize the impact that he was having on other people. And then, when he got to the bottom of his thinking, his realization was that he had an inner mental “judge” that was criticizing him in his own mind, all the time.Have you ever noticed that happening in your own mind? We talk to ourselves all day long. Our brain is constantly talking to us. It's giving us suggestions, ideas, promptings.It's giving us inspiration, creativity, motivation, and it's giving us criticism, judgment, suspicion, fears, reasons, we should not try things. And, in some of us, that voice is exceptionally loud.We're going to call that your inner judge. And when you try something new, and maybe you make a mistake, that inner judge might say, “that was stupid... don't do that again.”Now, my inner judge doesn't exactly speak to me in those same words. But for a lot of people, that's exactly what the inner judge sounds like.If that's your experience, I want to point out that this voice inside your mind is not coming from your loving, rational mind. It is part of your brain that's looking to protect you.
Develop a Mindset to Know that You Have Enough TimeHey there, thank you for joining me on the Mindset for Life Podcast. I'm very, very excited about this particular episode, because time management is something that comes up a lot. Most people that I talk to, whether at work or when I'm coaching, or in my family life, talk about time.Time comes up over and over. If time were a person, its ears would be burning all day long, seriously, because we're just always talking about it. So today, we're going to talk about a mindset to know that you have enough time. I was really intrigued by this. In a book I read by Gay Hendricks, who wrote “The Big Leap,” if you haven't read this book, I highly recommend it, it's about the upper limit problem.Stretching our comfort zone, and our ability to achieve more success, feel more love, and feel more positive emotions in our life. Now we fight this.Why? Well, there are a lot of reasons why, that I'm not going to get into today. And I encourage you to listen to some of my other episodes of this podcast. Today, we're going to focus on how you can develop a mindset to know that you have enough time, you really do.And in my experience, it's all about your mindset. Once you have a mindset to believe that you're capable of something, that it's open to you, you can achieve anything, literally, that you put your mind to. You can really set the goals that you want to, and you can move forward. So today, we're going to talk about the feelings that we have about time. I'm going to share a lot of feelings that I have had about time in the past, and feelings that you might have about time.I'm going to challenge each one of these thoughts and going to encourage you to consider your own thoughts and feelings about time.Why do we think we don’t have enough time?Thoughts are ideas that we have. Feelings are emotions. So when I say we have feelings around time, I'm really talking about like, angst, anxiety, worry, regret, fear. A lot of those things, right? One of the biggest thoughts that we have around time is that we just don't have enough of it.Whenever you think about not having enough of something, what does that do for you?For me, when I think about not having enough, it starts me down the path of worry. Now, I'm not super familiar with the emotion of worry. My brain worries, I have a lot of thoughts around scarcity and worry, but I don't really notice the feeling of worry.Worry, feels kind of tight in the shoulders. It feels tight in my neck. It feels like I'm hunched over a lot, I really have to think about what that feels like. What does worry feel like to you?Do you like that? Well, when you're worried that you don't have enough time, that it's limited, that it's finite, you're probably thinking some of the thoughts that I have thought, and here they are.I have thought, “There are only 24 hours in this day, and only seven days a week. And no matter how carefully I plan, I just might not be able to get everything done. I need to plan wisely, or maximize the time.”I want to challenge this today, so I ask you, is it really true?Is it really true that time is limited, that It's finite?In his book, “The Big Leap,” Gay Hendricks talks about playing with time. Stretching time. Always having enough time. Have you ever met anyone like this, that seems to get a lot of things done that they care about? And you wonder, where did they find the time for all of that?They teach a college class.They teach coaching in the evenings.They go off and create a lot of art.They have time to go camping, go fix up their cabin.They're doing all of this in a state of ease and flow and feeling like it's all working together for them.To me, it sounds like a very busy schedule. I don't know how they're fitting it all in, because I'm thinking time is finite, it's limited. There are only 24 hours in a day, seven days a week.
Today' we blend discussions about mindset coaching and brain-based supplements for a complete approach to focus and energy. Join me for today's podcast interview with Jennie Post!This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, to live with purpose and joy as we make each day a little better. And when we do that, we're putting good into the world. Right here, you have the tools to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can live your true purpose with joy, every day.
Do You Dread Waking Up in the Morning?Hey there. This is Bethanie Hansen, your coach at the Mindset for Life podcast. And I asked you this question today to start off the podcast. This is the topic we're going to be talking about. And the question is, "Do you dread waking up in the morning?"Now that might seem like a really strange question to be asking you. But I'm Bethanie Hansen, known as "Dr. B," educator and coach. I help teachers, leaders, and coaches stop Sunday night dread and reclaim their power and purpose.I've discovered that leaders, teachers and coaches care about the people they lead and the direction they're headed. They care about their students, they care about their clients and their customers. Everybody wants to feel confident in their role and treat people with love and integrity, even when other people are very challenging to be with.I've been an educator and a coach for 28 years. And in my experience, sometimes it is hard to get up in the morning because of what's going to happen the next day. Somewhere in there, a sense of Sunday night dread creeps in. And we wish there might be a day off coming up.At the same time, we even feel guilty for thinking it.Well, what's helped me the most have been some of the tools, strategies and thought patterns that I now share with clients through education and professional coaching.These very same things helped me to wake up and to reduce my own stress levels, to improve my sense of overall well being, and to be able to move through tough challenges with greater purpose. Now, I don't feel "that" way anymore.Yesterday was a holiday. I got up, and I was so excited to be awake. I remember thinking, "I've got this whole, empty day. Nobody expects anything from me. I don't have to go to work. I get to do those things that have been on my list for weeks and weeks." I did some of those things. I cleaned the kitchen.I did the dishes, I wiped down all the counters. It had been a mess for quite some time. Not a super clean kitchen. Went over to my mother's house, planted some things. Cleaned up some pots in the backyard. Really, really enjoyed the day. It felt great, felt amazing, in fact. And then today, it was a day to go to work. I got to do some coaching this afternoon.I was looking forward to getting up. But at the same time, I wasn't. I remember waking up and laying in bed, and thinking, "Oh my goodness, do I have to get up this early? Why did I set my alarm for this hour?"As I thought about it, I contemplated just like pushing the snooze button. I thought I might roll over and just go back to sleep. Then, I remembered my husband asking me politely a couple of days ago not to press the student snooze button over and over again while he was still sleeping. Because I'm just going to keep waking him up, right?So as I'm thinking about staying in bed, I'm also thinking about how to be kind to my husband and thinking in the name of kindness to my husband, I'm going to be good to myself at the same time.And I'm going to get out of bed quickly. I'm going to shower, and I'm going to put some energy behind it. I'm going to really try to wake up with vigor. And I'm going to get excited about this day.That did not happen either. I got out of bed, I took the shower, I was still dragging. I just wasn't feeling that great. Then, I realized it was a sunny, beautiful day. And I rekindled that energy by taking a walk outside. That did it.That helped. I was energized. I was ready to go. I entered one of my meetings, one of my calls, and I was able to participate and get some work done. I was very excited about how the day started.Do you ever have a day like that where you get up and you start thinking about all the ways you could sleep in, just turn over, cover your head, reset the alarm and sleep a little bit longer? In fact, sometimes we have a whole arsenal of stories behind that, like why we deserve it,
How to Set GoalsHey there, welcome to the Mindset for Life podcast. This is Bethanie Hansen, your coach, and I'm here to talk to you about goal setting.When was the last time you set a goal? I mean, a clear goal, something achievable, measurable, attainable, something you really wanted to hit. I can remember having such a goal, I decided that I was going to lose a certain amount of weight.Now, those of you who have listened to my podcast a lot, you already know that I went on a weight loss journey, during which I lost 95 pounds successfully over the course of almost a year. And then, a couple years later, I was kind of vacillating around that last 10 pounds, and I decided, let's just move it forward. So I can say I actually lost 100 pounds. So I had to really lose about 10 or 15 pounds at the bottom, there.And then, I lost the five more and hit my ideal goal weight. I didn't have that goal in the beginning. In fact, I didn't really care what my end goal was, I had first decided on a goal that was about, oh, 65 pounds of weight loss, I really didn't think anything else was achievable. I didn't even think it was possible. Then when I got close to that 65 pound mark, I started to wonder if I could lose about 15, more, maybe 20. More, I was pretty excited about that. And ultimately, I learned that I could lose 20 More than that 25 more, until I really hit that 95 pound mark initially. Sometimes when we set a goal. And sometimes when we're working towards a goal, we really don't know what's possible for ourselves, what we're capable of, we don't know until we get started.So an initial goal could be something really attainable. Something that's not a huge stretch, but is aspirational for us. That 65 pound goal for me was definitely aspirational. It was a huge distance off in the dirt journey. And it took many, many months to achieve that first chunk of my goal. But once I attained that big goal, I started to see that there was another path ahead, I could also travel and another one.Perhaps in your goal setting you've had a similar experience, or you might in the future. When work goal setting, it's first difficult to decide what the goal should be, what is a reasonable achievement, that's going to take our time and effort that's going to inspire us and make us feel really great about a challenge. And it's going to be not so far off that we feel it's a totally unattainable goal. If I had been told, when I started that journey, that I should lose 100 pounds, I would have felt very devastated. I don't think I would have started, I would have been so discouraged because I had tried to lose weight for years, nothing worked. And I could at best lose 20 pounds maybe.So when I started on the journey where I really did lose 100 pounds, it took very small, achievable goals over time consistently practiced. And then when the achievement was reached, I had to keep going. First, I had to maintain the success of attaining the first milestone, and I had to get used to what it was like to live in that space. Then I had to keep going.So when we're talking about goals, a lot of people talk about smart goals. Specific, measurable, achievable, time bound. Oh, what else, and timely... something like that. When we're talking about smart goals, I think what we really mean to say is let's break it down into some steps.Let's break it down into some planning. Let's break it down into ways we can actually measure and see if you're on track to reaching the goal. Let's just say you have a professional goal.Perhaps you want to write a book, perhaps you want to make an advancement in your career in your leadership and your teaching or your coaching. Whatever it is you'd like to attain in your goals, pick one thing, one thing you're gonna go all in for. Something you actually care about that motivates you.Let's choose something pretty big, but not impossible. Like let's just say if you want to write a book,
How to Be Happy in the Messy Middle"Change is hard at the beginning, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end." How can we be happy in the "messy middle?" Join me for today's episode of Mindset for Life!Hey there. Thank you for joining me. This is Bethanie Hansen of the Mindset for Life podcast at DrBCoach.Com. I'm happy you're here. I have been an educator for 28 years now, and a coach for the last seven or eight. I'm very happy to work with you today and also talk with you about the "messy middle."There's a quote by Robin Sharma: Change is hard at the beginning, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end. Well, what is that messy middle, you might be thinking?That's what we're going to talk about today.The first step toward any kind of change is awareness. And the fact that we need to change, and we know something must be different.Perhaps it's our lives, perhaps it's our organization, maybe it's our classroom. Whether you are a leader, a teacher, or a coach, you know that there are all kinds of transitions and changes that you may navigate yourself personally, professionally, and that you might lead others through.There are so many ways to make this change, and a lot of steps involved. But once we start the change, and we step in the new direction, and we start to get people aware, we map out that journey. We accept what has to happen, and we start to prepare for this road ahead.Now we've got some trouble along the way, and almost immediately, we question the direction we're headed. We might hit a lot of roadblocks. We might hear people objecting to what we're going to do.The messy middle is part of changeLet's just take the example of personal change. Have you ever changed anything personally that other people around you objected to? I have some colleagues and friends who used to wear mustaches and beard parts, I guess we call this a goatee. And some of these male friends of mine shaved off their mustache and their goatee all together. So now they look different.My son showed up at my house this weekend, without his mustache goatee. He's had that facial hair for probably the last five years straight. And all of a sudden, he came to my house with a naked face, he had shaved the mustache on the beard. And I'll admit he looked years younger than himself.He looked very different. I could see his whole face. I thought it was beautiful as his mother. But I could see that in the professional world, he probably looked very different to customers, to clients, to his co-workers. And actually, it presents a whole different persona, right?Now that's a somewhat superficial change. But what if your change is going to be deeper? Like, maybe you decide that it's time to really figure out what matters most to you, and you really want to live it at work. And you want to make these changes last for yourself.Change begins with taking stock, with awareness of the need for changeSo you're going to do some kind of a taking stock exercise, like maybe you're going to map out your wellbeing wheel, or your wheel of life, or your professional leadership wheel, you're going to do some kind of inventory that will help you to know what you are doing right now, and to look ahead to decide where your gap is. And once you've discovered the gap between where you are, and where you'd really like to be, ideally, there is some change that's going to have to happen. I work with a lot of clients in my coaching practice where there are some major changes people decide to make.Some of these changes actually push some people out of their lives and invite in new people.Some of these changes invite people to change careers altogether. I remember a woman about three years ago. We did a values inventory in session number two, and then I did not see her for like a month and a half, she just seemed to just disappear. And what really happened was, she did that values inventory and immediately connected the d...
How to Raise Your Happiness Set Point and Reduce PerfectionismJoin me for today's episode of Mindset for Life!This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, to live with purpose and joy as we make each day a little better. And when we do that, we're putting good into the world. Right here, you have the tools to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can live your true purpose with joy, every day.
Laser focus, to calm your overwhelm.
Join me for today's episode of Mindset for Life!
This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.
Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, to live with purpose and joy as we make each day a little better. And when we do that, we're putting good into the world. Right here, you have the tools to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can live your true purpose with joy, every day.
10 Strategies: How to Change Your Mindset and Achieve Success This episode will share 10 strategies: How to change your mindset and achieve success. You might be wondering what mindset is. Or if it's even possible to change it. I've got you--We'll talk about a growth mindset, ways to try changing your thinking, and tips to be successful.
Welcome to the mindset for life podcast. This is Bethanie, your coach from DRBCOACH.COM. Here on the Mindset for Life podcast, we look at ideas that help you reclaim your power and purpose in life, relationships and work. This podcast is for you if you lead, teach, and serve others, you want things to get a little better each day, and you're ready to focus on your mindset to make it happen.
Hey there, welcome to the podcast. This is Bethanie Hansen. And I'm so glad you're here. We're going to talk about how to change your mindset so you can be successful. I'll give you 10 strategies on how to change your mindset so you can achieve success this year, this month this week. We're going to talk about these 10 strategies that will transform your mindset and unlock all of your beautiful, untapped potential for your personal growth, and even your professional achievement. You could make some life changing strides toward achieving those dreams you've always wanted to move towards. And it all starts by shifting how we think about ourselves and about our goals. Considering the Possibility of Changing Mindset
It is possible to overcome limiting thoughts or limitations that you feel you have, while embracing the challenges on the journey towards success in life and in work. Let's get started. So I'm going to give you three things. One is how you can unlock your potential to achieve success by adopting a growth mindset. And the second thing will be how to transform your negative self talk into positive affirmations to boost confidence and self esteem. And the third one is to surround yourself with positivity, and develop healthy habits, seek support and celebrate success, some little things that will help punctuate this journey for you.
As an educator and a mother and a coach, I have often been asked about mindset, not specifically using that word, of course. But it is: "how do you have a positive attitude?" Or, "how do you change your belief about something?"
And that can feel really difficult for people. Honestly, I think mindset is the toughest thing we could possibly work on changing, because it's sort of subconscious. It's the way we look at the world. It's the attitude we have, our outlook. And creating a positive attitude and outlook is what we're aiming for here.
One of the ways that we can recognize our mindset is just noticing the way we perceive something like, what do we think about it? Is it hopeless? Is it hopeful? Is there a possibility?
You can start by recognizing negative thought patterns and attitudes, and then create a way to transform those into a positive space. One way you can do that is to step out of your comfort zone, that could mean that you're going to try something new, or get up earlier in the day part your hair on the other side, it could be a very small thing.
And you could set achievable goals to foster some mental emotional, physical growth. And you can also surround yourself with inspiring people. That's one of the most important things I advocate all the time, self care habits like taking walks, and talking things through with other people. And also noticing and reflecting in gratitude on your life and your experiences. All of these things are going to help you think about a mindset.
And also to change your mindset to a growth mindset or a more positive mindset. It is possible to change a mindset, it might mean that it's difficult to but it can be done. And over time, it can become a habit, and it can actually become a healthy thing that will benefit you for the rest of your life.
I've found myself, in some experiences,
Looking for joy and wondering how to get more in your life? This podcast episode is the third of four in a short series. We're not going to talk about what joy is or why you should care. Instead, we're just going to dive right into some things I do in my work with clients to help them find more joy on a regular basis. After all, if you're looking for more joy, you probably want to just get started right now!
The third step is to build specific skills that help establish joyful habits. These center around the PERMA model, developed by positive psychology researcher Dr. Martin Seligman and lay out a road map that helps us develop a more satisfying, happier, joyful life.
In addition to the PERMA model, learned optimism and physical exercise boost mood and wellbeing. Your take away from this episode will be a list of ideas around ways to intentionally bring more joy into your life, beginning today.
Join me for today's episode of Mindset for Life!
This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.
Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, to live with purpose and joy as we make each day a little better. And when we do that, we're putting good into the world. Right here, you have the tools to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can live your true purpose with joy, every day.
Looking for joy and wondering how to get more in your life? This podcast episode is the second of four in a short series. We're not going to talk about what joy is or why you should care. Instead, we're just going to dive right into some things I do in my work with clients to help them find more joy on a regular basis. After all, if you're looking for more joy, you probably want to just get started right now!
The second step is to become more aware of your values. What are those areas of your life you care most about? What drives you and motivates you? What informs your personal decisions? And, where might you experience conflict with other people who prioritize something else? Once you have clear awareness of those values you hold dear that make life meaningful for you, you're able to examine your daily decisions and your life generally for alignment. This awareness helps you recognize immediately where an area of life needs attention, or how you might prioritize your time and energy. After listening to this episode, you might want to try a values identification exercise or the VIA character strengths survey. Either of these will help you see more of what moves you forward and is likely to bring more joy to your life. The good news is that there is a free link for that, right here on DrBCoach.Com. Try it out!
Join me for today's episode of Mindset for Life!
This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.
Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, to live with purpose and joy as we make each day a little better. And when we do that, we're putting good into the world. Right here, you have the tools to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can live your true purpose with joy, every day.
Looking for joy and wondering how to get more in your life? This podcast episode is the first of four in a short series. We're not going to talk about what joy is or why you should care. Instead, we're just going to dive right into some things I do in my work with clients to help them find more joy on a regular basis. After all, if you're looking for more joy, you probably want to just get started right now!
The first step is to become more aware of your starting point. What are those areas of your life in which you may or may not find satisfaction? What currently brings you positive emotions? And how can you target a specific action or small step that would get you moving toward more joy, right now? After listening to this episode, you might want to try the "wheel of life" exercise. The good news is that there is a free interactive template for that, right here on DrBCoach.Com. Try it out!
Join me for today's episode of Mindset for Life!
This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.
Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, to live with purpose and joy as we make each day a little better. And when we do that, we're putting good into the world. Right here, you have the tools to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can live your true purpose with joy, every day.
If you feel like your list just keeps getting longer, and you can't catch up, join me for today's episode about three ways to stop being so stressed out. Stress accumulates over time and can significantly impact your health and wellbeing. Today, we're going to look at three reasons why you might be so stressed, three ways to stop being stressed all the time, and three types of permission to help you start this plan. You're going to leave this episode with something that will work for you, so tune in!
Join me for today's episode of Mindset for Life!
This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.
Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, to live with purpose and joy as we make each day a little better. And when we do that, we're putting good into the world. Right here, you have the tools to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can live your true purpose with joy, every day.
What does it mean to live aligned with your values? It means that you feel congruent, clear, and confident. And the opposite is also true--living out of alignment means that you likely feel frustrated, stuck, and in search of something more. In today's podcast, we will look at what alignment means, and we will discuss examples of how to ensure your values are part of the morning routine before they get lost somewhere in your day.
Join me for today's episode of Mindset for Life!
This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.
Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, to live with purpose and joy as we make each day a little better. And when we do that, we're putting good into the world. Right here, you have the tools to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can live your true purpose with joy, every day.
Do you ever feel exhausted, because you put everyone else first, leaving no time to take care of your own needs? This could be a sign that you are "people pleasing." This means we take on too much, live with unclear boundaries, and try to please others rather than taking care of our own basic needs.
In today's podcast, we will look at people pleasing, which often connects to codependency (which is NOT my area of expertise). Let's take a look at this widely common behavior and consider what else we can do to transition to balance and wellbeing, while still loving, serving, and teaching others.
Join me for today's episode of Mindset for Life!
This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.
Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, to live with purpose and joy as we make each day a little better. And when we do that, we're putting good into the world. Right here, you have the tools to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can live your true purpose with joy, every day.
If you've ever wanted to have more time for the things you care about, reduce overwork, and recharge, it's time to set boundaries to get motivated. Boundaries come with saying NO, for sure. But did you know that there is so much more to setting boundaries?
In today's podcast, you'll learn about the four main ideas inside your boundaries. You'll get some clarity around which areas you might want to focus on first, and how to get started. And you will also learn how boundaries motivate you!
Join me for today's Mindset For Life podcast, and start living your best life, now.
This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.
Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, to live with purpose and joy as we make each day a little better. And when we do that, we're putting good into the world. Right here, you have the tools to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can live your true purpose with joy, every day.
It's time to stretch your comfort zone when you see that life, relationships, or work are not really going anywhere. You might have heard it before. To get a different result, you'll have to do something different. But how do we do it?
In today's episode, I'll talk about your comfort zone and share a brief experience I had that brought this to mind. We can stretch our comfort zone a little each day, and soon we have more power to do and achieve the things we want in life.
Join me for the Mindset for Life podcast!
This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.
Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, to live with purpose and joy as we make each day a little better. And when we do that, we're putting good into the world. Right here, you have the tools to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can live your true purpose with joy, every day.
If you want to feel happier and make better decisions, identifying and living your values is the way! Values are what we care most about, and each one of us has our own priority values that matter most to our lives, relationships, and work. When we make daily decisions that support our values, we feel pretty good. And when we have to set aside our values or artificially inflate values less important to us, we can feel conflicted, stuck, and frustrated.In today's podcast, we talk about things that come up when making routine, daily decisions. Even when we know our values, the urgency or importance of day-to-day issues can quickly override our default priorities. And just as easily, we can pause and realign to our values to resolve that.I'll share an example of one of my own recent experiences and encourage you on your path to being an even better version of you, today.Join me for Mindset for Life, and today, let's help you reduce frustration and increase positive feelings through identifying and living your values.This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, to live with purpose and joy as we make each day a little better. And when we do that, we're putting good into the world. Right here, you have the tools to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can live your true purpose with joy, every day.
It's time to take yourself seriously, because you are special. You might be thinking: what do you mean by special? In today's podcast, we talk about why you are special and what makes you unique. After all, you might hear that a lot. That you are special and unique. But how can YOU know that?There are a few attributes we look at that distinguish us from other people. Just like visiting a theme park, like Disney Land or Disney World, each person has a unique experience at the theme park. And each person we meet will have a slightly different experience of us. Yet Disneyland is the same everyday. And you have the same wonderful traits whether interacting with your neighbor, your partner, or your boss. And yet they will each see different facets of who you are.In today's podcast, we'll talk about the amazing YOU. And I'll close with three ways you can draw out more of your greatness: Notice the good things you do now and have done in the past, even if you think it's uncomfortable to focus on what's going "right" about you. Get to know your personality and draw on your stronger attributes, intentionally. Where you lack natural strengths, build skills and know that acting on those skills means stepping outside your comfort zone, investing more energy than usual. Reflect intentionally during experiences and later, after the experience. Reflective practice can help you notice consistent strengths and observe growth, which helps you focus on what's going right in yourself.Join me for Mindset for Life, and today, let's celebrate the amazing YOU that you are.This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, to live with purpose and joy as we make each day a little better. And when we do that, we're putting good into the world. Right here, you have the tools to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can live your true purpose with joy, every day.
Need help making a decision? If you have important decisions to make, like whether or not to stay in your current job, to move, or to change your relationships, you know how important it is to make a wise decision. Yet we don't always know how good decisions are made. Do we need a mentor? A coach? Someone else who has lived through this?As we struggle to sift through the options available and try to choose the best possibility, it feels like a little additional wisdom could help. And it may surprise you to know that you already have an excellent source of help. That source is YOU!In today's podcast, we'll talk about your past self, that younger version of you who had hopes and dreams for the future. That one who put in all of the hard work to become who you are now. And, we'll talk about the future version of you--the one who is banking on you to stay focused on the bigger picture. The one who wants you to succeed, and who will love you anyway if you don't.Join me for Mindset for Life, and today, learn how to use your wise, inner sage to guide you.This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, to live with purpose and joy as we make each day a little better. And when we do that, we're putting good into the world. Right here, you have the tools to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can take it deeper, to make these changes a lasting part of your life. You can live your true purpose with joy, every day.
So you live with someone who seems a bit negative. Or angry all the time. And you might feel like you're walking on eggshells sometimes. Have you ever wanted to feel fearless around that person?Whether you live and work around challenging people, or you just have a single situation that seems to be staring you down right now, you can develop a confident way of being fearless. And with this kind of positive energy, you can handle anything. Join me for this podcast about how to be fearless around anyone.This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow in our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, and go forward to create good in the world. Right here, you have the gems to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can make it a lasting part of your life. You can change how you see things and feel your true purpose every day.
What can I do to live "above the line" in challenging situations? In today's podcast, we'll explore what it means to stay above the line and how to choose it a little more every day. We all face difficult situations and challenging relationships, and consciously choosing how to face them means living above the line. Using the idea of leading above the line from Conscious Business, we will survey the practical realities of life and work, and of course, relationships. Then, we will consider how to manage the everyday setbacks with more intentionality and more consciousness. Join me for this podcast about how to keep turning outward, a little more everyday.This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow in our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, and go forward to create good in the world. Right here, you have the gems to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can make it a lasting part of your life. You can change how you see things and feel your true purpose every day.
If you have someone difficult in your life, and you would like to understand them so that things can go better, curiosity can help. We all approach other people with our own thoughts, culture, biases, and experiences. Those are like lenses through which we see the world. If we become aware of these biases and assumptions we hold, we are able to also get curious about the thoughts others have and understand that they come from entirely different assumptions. In today's podcast, we'll explore getting curious to connect better with people we consider to be "challenging" or "difficult."This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow in our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, and go forward to create good in the world. Right here, you have the gems to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can make it a lasting part of your life. You can change how you see things and feel your true purpose every day.
If you're somewhere between ages 35 and 65, and you feel a bit stagnant, it might be time for a mid-life refresh. Self worth comes from within, built around this idea that you are valuable, lovable, and worth. What can fortify your self worth when you're not feeling it? Listen to today’s episode for tips to return to an inner sense of worth that builds confidence, and explore four areas in which you might consider a new focus in the years ahead.This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow in our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, and go forward to create good in the world. Right here, you have the gems to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can make it a lasting part of your life. You can change how you see things and feel your true purpose every day.
This week, join me for a podcast conversation with award-winning band director, Rob Bentley!www.cvmepodcast.comhttps://centralvalleymusiceducatorspodcast.buzzsprout.com/1999079/12426647MARCH 14, 2023 ROB BENTLEY SEASON 3 EPISODE 9 Episode 3.9 - Dr. Bethanie Hansen SHOW NOTESShow notes, first appeared on www.CCME podcast.comJoin me for the final episode of Season 3! I get the chance to talk with my friend and former colleague Dr. Bethanie Hansen who is a Life, Career, & Executive Coach. She discusses some great tips for "Work Life Blending" which is a topic that we all need to know more about. She is the host of the "Mindset for Life" Podcast. Her website at www.drbcoach.comI'd like to thank J.H. Tackett for sponsoring this episode of the Central Valley Music Educators Podcast.The Central Valley Music Educators Podcast is hosted by Rob Bentley. The show is available at:www.cvmepodcast.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@centralvalleymusiceducatorwww.facebook.com/cvmepodcastwww.instagram.com/cvmepodcast
Let's face it, stress is all around--but if we learn how to handle stress differently, it can become a tool for growth and peak performance. Listen to today’s episode for details about burnout, stress, and eustress, with ideas to reduce stress through mindset and quick mood management strategies.This episode's theme song is “Sunshine Club,” by Ishan Dincer. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow in our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, and go forward to create good in the world. Right here, you have the gems to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can make it a lasting part of your life. You can change how you see things and feel your true purpose every day.
If you want to know how to be happy getting out of bed in the morning, these 7 tips are for you! Listen to today's episode for 7 modalities that influence mood, emotions, and behavior. Here's to a great wake-up routine!This season’s theme song is “Training Day,” by Infraction. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow in our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, and go forward to create good in the world. Right here, you have the gems to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can make it a lasting part of your life. You can change how you see things and feel your true purpose every day.
Have you ever wanted to reach your goals, but struggled to do that? In today's podcast, I'll encourage you and share some tips to make this experience different from the past.This season’s theme song is “Training Day,” by Infraction. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow in our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, and go forward to create good in the world. Right here, you have the gems to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can make it a lasting part of your life. You can change how you see things and feel your true purpose every day.
You've probably taken a personality assessment before. But this one is different. Learn about "Principles You," a free online personality assessment worth trying! Leverage Your Personality StrengthsWhen you complete the free "Principles You" personality survey, you gain a wealth of insight about your life, relationships, and work. To leverage your traits, work with me for a Principles You debrief session. Understanding your strengths and using them intentionally brings confidence, resilience, and purpose.Count Me In!This season’s theme song is “Training Day,” by Infraction. Used with Permission.Like what you read here? In this podcast, I’m sharing some core principles I’ve learned in coaching that have completely changed my life. These ideas restore personal power and bring the confidence to grow in our unique traits, strengths, and attributes, and go forward to create good in the world. Right here, you have the gems to take one small step. And with a personal coach, you can make it a lasting part of your life. You can change how you see things and feel your true purpose every day.
If you’ve ever wished to change things in life, in a relationship, or at work, chances are that you've needed to notice your thoughts and slow down. Noticing our own thoughts is the first and most important skill to learn when trying to make a change. Once you're aware of your own thoughts it's natural to realize that others may think differently--and now we have somewhere to begin.This is episode number 129. Welcome to the Mindset for life Podcast; this podcast is for you, if you love, serve, teach and lead others, you want things to keep getting better, you want encouragement. And just one little idea today to get stronger in your life, your relationships or your work. I’m Bethanie Hansen, and I help people everywhere take control of their current situations, and have power to do what they need to do in the future as well.Today's episode is about noticing your thoughts. That's right, becoming aware of subconscious thoughts, and those more intentional.This is Bethanie Hansen, your coach, and I am so excited to be with you today. You know, I love giving this podcast because I can't imagine not sharing with you all of the things that have made my life amazing in the last few years. Some of those things are ideas I learned long ago, perhaps as a child or a college student, or something like that. But only when I started coach training did they become obvious to me.Some of those things really are basic to the way I think all the time now. And I want to help you by sharing them with you a little bit every week.This first idea today is all about noticing, controlling and getting on top of your thoughts. When I say that, what I'm saying is you have these thoughts that are happening all the time. We're not always conscious of those. In fact, some philosophers and existentialists would call this consciousness, something deep that we could stop and study.Observe Your Own Thoughts.But let's just take this on the smallest level we could talk about, think about observing and noticing your own thoughts. How often do you do that? While you're just in the middle of your day, at one point, I want you to have that experience of pausing, noticing what your brain is doing.What are you thinking? Are you just thinking about getting something done? Is it task focused? Is it judgment oriented? Is it about some future possibility? Is it a regret from the past? Is it a worry or an anxiety?Your brain is doing this 100% of the time, I guarantee it's nearly impossible to quiet one's brain so no thought is happening.As you're having those thoughts, I wonder what some of the most common thoughts are that you have?I remember from long ago, sitting in a church meeting as a young person. As I sat there, I thought about a lot of things. And I noticed that the people around me had no idea what I was thinking about. Maybe this was one of those early moments where I started to notice my thoughts were private. Did you ever notice that to yourself? How old were you when that happened?Well, as we get older and older, we take that for granted. And we stop thinking about it so much. One of the things that is most powerful to me is noticing the kind of thoughts I have, as I think about my thoughts on a regular basis, I can catch faulty thinking.Identify Faulty Thinking.And when I say faulty thinking, I'm talking all about those thoughts that don't help very much. Faulty thinking can be things like all-or-nothing thinking. Like I can be preparing for something at work and think it has to go 100% right.Or it has to go, in my opinion, 100% right.It doesn't mean that other people are going to think it went right. In fact, one's definition of right is going to vary from person to person.The more I noticed and observed my thoughts, the more I can catch those kinds of thoughts when they're going astray.As soon as we notice our thoughts, we can just get curious about them and kind of listen,
If you've experienced overwhelm, you know how urgent it feels to learn how to reduce overwhelm! I've been there, living in my share of commitments, priorities, and endless tasks. And I know firsthand that it isn't a great place to be. In today's podcast episode, join me for some quick tips to work through that feeling of overwhelm and bring things back into focus.This is episode number 128. Welcome to the Mindset for life Podcast; this podcast is for you, if you love, serve, teach and lead others, you want things to keep getting better, you want encouragement. And just one little idea today to get stronger in your life, your relationships or your work. I'm Bethanie Hansen, and I help people everywhere take control of their current situations, and have power to do what they need to do in the future as well.I'm here with you today to talk about how to reduce overwhelm.Overwhelm is a feeling where we don't know how to get started, like there's so much going on, it's just very difficult to get a handle on it and feel like things could ever be better in the future. In fact, when we're experiencing overwhelm, our thoughts are usually muddled a little bit, and it's hard to even gain clarity.We don't know what the first step out of overwhelm is. Well, in my experience, overwhelm is a chronic condition that could just keep coming back again, and again. And again. Part of the reason overwhelm is such an unwelcome but regular visitor is that overwhelm is a space of “status quo.”Overwhelm is actually a somewhat of an indulgent mindset where, because there's so much going on in our brain, we can feel like, well, it makes sense that I can't take any action, because there's just so much to do, there's just so much going on in my brain, I can't do anything about it.That might be true. I don't really know what your experience is right now. But I know that when I have experienced overwhelm, it's usually come from not taking a little bit of time to slow down, and really work through what all of my thoughts are.Write it all down.The first step I usually recommend to my coaching clients, when I'm working with them on a state of overwhelm, is to just do a dump. Write all those thoughts down on a piece of paper. We're going to put down every little thing that is going on in that brain.Some of it is a list of things to do. And that's usually the easiest part to get out of the brain. So we're going to write down things like maybe you have a trip coming up. And some of the overwhelm is all the things you need to prepare and pack and have ready for the trip. Or maybe it has to do with what you need to do in the house so that the house is ready for your absence. Maybe you have locks you want to purchase or automatic light timers, or maybe you have someone coming over to your house to watch the house or watch the pets. Maybe have a pet to take to the kennel, there's a lot you can do to prepare your house for a trip.If you're preparing for a trip, and that's part of your overwhelm, probably there's a whole list of things going on in your brain about just getting ready for that trip, as well as packing for that trip. And planning what you're going to do while you're on the trip. Then outside of that if you have children at home, you might be thinking, if you're leaving the children with someone else, maybe a family member, how are you going to prepare the children for your absence?How are you going to prepare the family member to watch your kids, then there's work, right? If you work and you're going on a trip, you've also got all the work commitments you need to close out, wrap up and finish before the trip. See how easily that overwhelm can just pile up to thing after thing after thing?Pretty soon the overwhelm starts to feel like anxiety, and anxiety is all about the future. So we're experiencing in the current moment, all of these things that we just need to get done.
This podcast is for you, if you love, serve and teach and lead others, you want things to keep getting better. You want encouragement. And just one little idea today to get stronger in your life, your relationships or your work. I help people take control of their current situation and have power to do what they need to do in the future as well. This is Bethanie Hansen, and I'm your host on Mindset for Life. Thanks for joining me today.Today we're going to talk about automatic thoughts.Automatic thoughts are an interesting thing that can help you or hurt you. The weird thing is they sound like us.In fact, we have these thoughts come into our mind, and we don't even question them, we just assume that that's how the world works. And we think about them all the time.Every once in a while, I'll notice a person specifically saying, "Well, that's just how people are," or, "That's just how big organizations are."Or, "That's what people think these days." Any kind of comment like that reveals some kind of automatic thought or assumption about the way people or the world or organizations work.Do you have thoughts like that? Do you ever think about your thoughts? You know, if you notice yourself thinking something, and you pause, kind of step aside from yourself a minute and think objectively about what you're thinking, then you're doing this skill that I really love, and I think is super helpful to us all.And that is thinking about your thinking. Now, some of the thoughts I have, I don't realize I'm having them until I stop and I tell someone else what I'm thinking. And suddenly, it'll be really obvious and really shocking that I've been thinking a certain way. And some of those thoughts that work for me and don't work for me.I like to write down and keep track of and remember.We can do things we've never done before.One thought is that I can learn how to do something difficult that I've never done before. I may not be perfect at it. I may not win prizes for it. But I'm fully capable of learning something new that I haven't done before. I mean, after all, I've been doing that my whole life, haven't you?When you were a baby, you didn't know how to crawl, and you learned how to do that. And when you were a toddler, you learned how to walk. And you didn't know how to do that before either. Some people, some people even learned how to drive cars and got driver's licenses. And that was something you had never done before. Till you started driving. So there are a lot of things in the past that prove it's true, we can learn something new that we've never done before.All of us can. I think that way, when I'm presented with something new that I'd like to figure out, or I'd like to become fluent in doing. And like I said, it doesn't mean we're going to be masters of it. But at least we can learn something new we've never done before.Learning to notice and recognize automatic thoughts is that same kind of thing. Now, whatever you're facing in life, whatever challenges you're up against or experiencing, whether it's in your own self or in your relationships with other people, or in your circumstances, chances are you have some thoughts about those things that are very clear to you.The brain automates some thoughts to help us.And some that are a little bit hidden. I would call those the automatic thoughts.There's this thing about the brain that I've learned a lot about in the last few years. Some people call it neuroscience. Some people just call it talking about the brain, whatever you prefer, we're going to talk about your brain for just a minute here.Now your brain is totally in favor of protecting you, helping you and making your life efficient.So there are these parts of the brain that feed us thoughts and ideas that we have stored in there at some point. And these things come out at the most inopportune times, and they might be in the form of automatic thoughts.
If you are facing change, whether it’s coming at you, happening within, or something you’re leading, you can successfully navigate change by gaining awareness, gaining skills and knowledge, looking back at your past for insight that will help you to move forward, and take action in areas that are within your control. Listen to today’s podcast for tips and strategies to successfully navigate change.This is episode number 126. Welcome to the Mindset for Life Podcast. This podcast is for you if you love, serve, teach and lead others. You want things to keep getting better. You want encouragement. And just one little idea today to get stronger in your life, your relationships or your work. I help people take control of their current situation and have power to do what they need to do in the future. Join me in Mindset for Life.Welcome to mindset for life today, this is Bethanie Hansen. And I am very happy to be with you to talk about change.We’re either being changed, resisting change, or leading change.Just as a big broad idea, change is a big scary topic, right? Some people really don't like change. Maybe a little bit of change is good if we think of it ourselves, if we're in charge of the change, right? But if change is just happening all around us, in our workplace, in our life, and our world. And if we're not in control of that change, it can be scary and even incapacitating.It can cause us to be stuck, paralyzed, unable to move forward. And it can make it very difficult to think clearly and do those things that we care most about.So in change, there are three roles that happen. And one of those is that we are being changed. This one is somewhat intentional, right?So if we're being changed in this whole process of change happening, than we're probably learning, growing, adapting, adjusting ourselves in some way, either externally or internally.When I'm talking about internal change, I'm really talking about self talk, the way we think, the way we conceive of that change and the experience we're having. So it's external or its internal, but somehow we are growing, we are developing in that change.So maybe we're being changed in the change. Or a second option is we're resisting the change. I think that one is a pretty common experience that I've had, maybe you've had it too--something is changing, and we do not like it. We don't want it to happen.So maybe we're talking about it a lot. We're stewing about it, we're thinking about how much we longed for the way it used to be.Maybe we're wishing for the good things of the past, we just don't want this change to be happening. And the truth is, it is happening.There's nothing we can do about it, the change is happening. And we have to get on board. But we are so stuck, we are resisting that change, we just don't like it.And the third option is that we are leading the change. Maybe we came up with some new direction our family needs to move in, or where we want to change something in our personal life. Maybe we're going to be changing the business, the classroom, the team we're leading, whatever it is, we are leading that change. And in any kind of change, there are some stages that we all go through. So I want to just share some ideas today, they're going to give you one little insight to help you get through a change you might be experiencing right now. Or a change that might be coming up for you. So whether you're going to be changed by it, because you're resisting it or you're leading it, something's going to happen. And if you'd like more personal power in the journey you’re on, this idea could be very helpful.You can choose to use change as a growth and learning opportunity.This idea is the choice between either growing through this change experience, whether you're leading it resisting it, or it's changing you, right, you can grow in the experience. Or you can actually gain some knowledge or some skill or some capacity beca...
If you feel like others ask too much of you, take advantage of you, or just don't respond in ways that you expect, today's episode "Don't be a doormat" will help you learn how to say "no."
Got a challenge? In today’s podcast episode, we will explore a simple framework that gives you options to face that challenge. The framework is one that I use all the time with coaching clients, and it is extremely effective. "Gain, Grow, Go."
This season’s theme song is “Training Day,” by Infraction. Used with Permission.
In today’s podcast episode, we will explore why you should learn about and know your weaknesses. I’ll share some ideas around taking the VIA Character Strengths survey to help you learn why you should know about and use your strengths, as well as your "lesser strengths." You can learn more about your strengths and “lesser strengths,” giving yourself permission to be more of who you are and letting go of some things that are not your highest areas for now.
To take the VIA Character Strengths survey, visit http://drbcoach.pro.viasurvey.org/.
This season’s theme song is “Training Day,” by Infraction. Used with Permission.
In today's podcast episode, I'll share some ideas around taking the VIA Character Strengths survey to help you learn why you should know about and use your strengths. You can learn more about your strengths and "lesser strengths," giving yourself permission to be more of who you are and letting go of some things that are not your highest areas for now.
To take the VIA Character Strengths survey, visit http://drbcoach.pro.viasurvey.org/.
This season’s theme song is “Training Day,” by Infraction. Used with Permission.
If you want to change yourself, there are many different ways to do it. First, you can change your appearance, making adjustments like dying your hair or gaining/losing weight. Second, you can change your behaviors by adopting new habits. This might be easy steps taken over time, amounting to bigger changes. Third, you can change your mindset.
Your mindset is the way you think. And what you think determines who you are. Your thinking leads to your feelings, actions, and outcomes. What you get out of life starts with your thoughts and develops almost automatically from there.
In today's podcast, we'll talk about making changes, and some ideas around getting started. Did you know... when you even begin considering changes, you're already becoming a better version of yourself?
This season’s theme song is “Training Day,” by Infraction. Used with Permission.
Hello there. This is Bethanie Hansen, I'm here with you on the Mindset for Life podcast. And we're going to talk today about proven systems.
Proven systems are things that we know work. There are certain kinds of proven systems that we have out there in the world. And one of those things just might be about the way we manage our thinking or the way we manage our brain. Now, that's something we don't talk very much about in daily life. But here on the Mindset for Life podcast, we talk about it all the time.
And I want to liken a weight loss system to the way that we can develop a system for managing our thinking and have a healthy relationship with ourselves and with other people.
Now, this podcast is for you, if you love, serve, and teach others, you want things to keep getting better. You want encouragement, and just one little idea today to get stronger in your life, your relationships, and your work. And I just want you to know that I do coaching, I help people take control of their situation, and have power to do what they need to do. One group I coach often is tech leaders and executives in that industry. And for these folks, I'm often a confidence coach. And for educators, especially online educators, I am a wellbeing coach, and I share tips and strategies to manage that kind of work.
Now if you want a little encouragement, today, we're going to talk about proven systems. And I hope you'll find this reassuring and encouraging. Now, the metaphor for proven systems is my diet plan. And I am almost 50 years old. But in the last seven years, I've finally cracked the code of how to lose weight for myself. Now, my system will not work for everybody. But it definitely works for me. And the one thing I can promise you is that when you create a system and follow it regularly and rigidly, you can believe it will work and it likely will work for you.
So, I'm going to tell you about my system just a little bit. And it's kind of this metaphor for how we can use a system to manage our thinking. And by the way, in coaching other people, a lot of times it comes down to thinking.
It's something like an automatic assumption or a perception that we have, that other people don't have, that comes up in our mind that creates all this frustration. We think people are doing something mean to us, or maybe they're trying to hurt us or out to get us or they just don't like us. And a lot of times that just hinges on some little assumption that somebody has that was unspoken. And later, we may or may not figure out.
So, in my experience, my weight loss plan has been a proven system for me. Now it started out seven years ago, almost like this urgent feeling. I was an overweight adult for most of my over, over-20-year-old life. I got married when I was 24. And I was probably 185 pounds at that time. And for my body type and my frame, that was already overweight.
But eventually, over many years, I ended up weighing about 249 pounds. I just gained weight over time. I had a couple of children. And I looked around me at my genetic group, my family members, and thought, well, I have no choice. I thought, you know, my assumption was I have a destiny to be overweight because all my relatives are, and there's just nothing we can do.
And I didn't understand very much at the time, how much that line of thinking actually created more problems for me. True, there are genetic predispositions to, like, crave certain foods or eat in certain ways or benefit or not benefit from exercise and things like that.
And we can't neglect the significance of how much surrounding ourselves with people who think all the same ways influences us. So, if I'm going to hang out with all my relatives, and we're all going to be eating goodies or bread or things like that, that tends to really add to my weight problem. Then I'm going to keep having it. I'm probably going to want to feel part of that group as I always did, and I'm going to participate.
Read the Transcript: This is episode number 119: Why does it seem so hard? Welcome to the Mindset for Life Podcast. This is Bethanie, your coach, from DrBCoach.Com--coaching with power, purpose and practical tools to help you show up with confidence. Welcome to the podcast today. I'm Bethanie Hansen, and I'm here to talk with you about why life, or work, or both are so hard. Sometimes everything just seems really hard, right? It can feel like the whole world is against you. Like just as things start to go your way something happens. And now there's this new challenge. And it's like challenge after challenge. Sometimes it's just the people in life, like they are resistant or difficult or not really doing what we want them to be doing. And sometimes it's just the opportunity, like, there's not enough opportunity to do what I really want to do. Or maybe I'd like to have a new experience. And I just can't figure out what that is. And I'd like to describe that in a little more detail. Today's episode is all about being stuck, what it feels like. The experience of being stuck, why it's so draining and difficult, and some hope and reassurance that there is a way out of being stuck. No one can change all of their external circumstances or the people around them, but we can focus on ourselves and the experience we're actually having and the way we're feeling from day to day. And when we're doing that, pretty soon, everything changes, we have the power to do it. I know it might not seem that way right now. But trust me, it's possible. And if you stay with me throughout this podcast, and throughout this series, you're gonna find a way. So let's get started by talking about that feeling of just being stuck. And of course, this podcast is for you, if you love serve, and teach others, if you want things to keep getting better. If you want encouragement, just one little idea today to get stronger in your life, your relationships, your work. I help people take control of their situations, and I have power to do what I need to do. And so can you. [I am a] confidence coach for tech leaders and executives, that's what I am. And I'm also a wellbeing coach for teachers. I love doing these things because it makes a difference in the lives of others. But it also makes a difference in my life. And it wouldn't be of any value to anyone else unless I was doing my best to just live it myself. So I'm on this journey to day to day, doing the best I can to be the best version of myself, just as you may be doing. And I know life isn't easy all the time. In fact, at the time of this recording, I just had one of the toughest weeks of my recent life, just really struggling through some things happening. And so I want you to know [that] I'm with you in the feeling of struggle and really feeling stuck. Sometimes we have to weather that. Sometimes, we have to do things to get out of that path and into another one. So let's talk about that. Let's talk about being stuck. What is Being Stuck? A stuck situation is where we have a lot of negative emotions. And negative emotions, as we all know, are not pleasant. We're experiencing other people or circumstances as having more power over our happiness than we do. And when we're feeling stuck like this, we believe that other people, or the things happening with our work or our life, actually have the ability to cause the troubling feelings in us that we cannot do anything about.
So perhaps we're angry, and we feel like it's someone else's fault.
We're depressed. And it seems like it's because of someone else's behavior.
We're just discouraged. And we think it's because of our work situation.
No matter how we try, it feels like these things are outside of us and beyond us. Now, because we feel like it's outside our control, we often think there's just nothing we can do about it to feel happy, peaceful or fulfilled again. And that situation of being stuck actually has a lot of impact.
This season’s theme song is “Training Day,” by Infraction. Used with Permission.
This is episode number 112: Your emotions. Welcome to the Mindset for Life Podcast. This is Bethanie, your coach, from Dr. B coach.com, and I'm so excited to talk to you today. You know, one of the things that I take for granted in my life is what I know about emotions, how to manage them, where they come from, and how to shift a negative emotion into a positive emotion. I've been there. I have some expertise in this area. And I'd love to teach you a little bit about what I know. First of all, let me ask you a few questions:
Do you ever find that somebody else's heavy, big emotions overwhelm you? Do you ever feel like someone else's emotions are your fault or your responsibility? Do you ever feel like it's someone else's fault that you feel something?
All of these things are pretty common thoughts to have, and they're not true. Interestingly, we are responsible for the way we feel, and what we think about things. So no one can be blamed about our emotions, and we cannot be responsible for other people's emotions. That's incredible, isn't it? So today, I'm going to talk to you about six main emotions, primary emotions people feel, and how this all happens that we think we are to blame or we blame other people for the way we feel, and how to stop doing it so you can have freedom and really feel like you're on top of things.
You may be thinking, "I don't really know if I'm gonna listen to this topic." Or you might be thinking, This is exactly what I need right now." And I'm gonna guide you through the steps to figure it out. So let's start first with six emotions, people feel the most: mad, sad, scared, peaceful, powerful, and joyful. In fact, these six emotions are often the entire vocabulary somebody might have about how to talk about their feelings. Not everyone has a huge emotional vocabulary. And if you were to ask me any given moment, I know I'm feeling things because emotions are part of just being human, right? But I may not be able to pinpoint exactly what a fine-tuned emotional name it is. There are so many more names than just those six I listed. But chances are, you primarily feel one or two of those emotions the most. Some people feel mad a lot, like they're angry all the time. And something will come along and provoke that anger. And then anger will be racing for this person, and maybe you are there. In my experience, anger is usually related to blame accusation. And I'm feeling like someone else needs to do something, but I can't control it. So the only thing I can do is get mad. Anger is a huge and heavy emotion--very powerful. And like any emotion, there's a physical response to the way you feel. So mad often has like a racing heartbeat, it might have some heat physically associated with that. There might be a way we stand a way we hold our faces. All kinds of physical things happen when we feel mad or angry. Likewise, sad. So in my experience, sad is a pretty plain face. It might even include a drooping face or a little bit of a frown. And I might have this overwhelming physical sensation of just sluggishness. It's like, I'm slower, just not moving as fast. Now, some people can actually isolate exactly where in the body they feel sadness, can you do that? That is a unique thing to be able to think about. And the more you can isolate how it feels, where in your body, you are noticing the sensation, what your face looks like, what your posture is like, what your temperature is like, and how you talk when you're feeling this emotion, the more you can really name it. Zero in and isolate it, it's not overwhelming anymore. And then scared. So fear, I guess we could call it when we are afraid just like being...
Welcome to the mindset for life podcast. This podcast is for you, if you're interested in being a better version of yourself more confident, happier, feeling better about things. Now, well, I can never guarantee that through a podcast, you'll actually become happier. But when we adopt a healthy mindset that's going to help us move forward, it can bring more happiness, it can also help us realize how wonderful it is what we have right now.
Today, I want to talk about questioning reality. Have you ever had an experience where you just wondered if how you thought things really are was true? Well, I have, sometimes I can see someone else's reaction or response or the way they've come about doing something. And I can assume that I know what's behind it, I can believe that I know their motive or their intention or what they're trying to do. Sometimes if I know the person really well, that's a good thing. But if I don't, and even when I do, it can be especially helpful to question my assumptions about what's really going on.
And, you know, the more I have thought about coaching people, the more I realized that questioning reality is a good thing. What I believe is true about other people, or about why they do things, is most of the time not true. And if I don't know why someone is doing something, if I question it, I'm gonna give myself the space to think differently. And that'll give me enough time to slow down and pause and just figure it out without getting too emotional too quickly. Now, I'd like to give you an example of that.
I was in the store earlier this evening, and my husband and I were there because we love to go camping and fishing and hiking and do all those wonderful things. And we were buying a new camping shirt. So something lightweight, that's breathable, we're going to wear it camping, and we're in this store. And there was a husband and wife shopping in the store with us, not with us, but in the store at the same time as us. And these people were kind of milling about, they were just slowly moving from aisle to aisle, touching things, looking at things not talking to each other. And as I watched them, I noticed that they really did not communicate out loud.
They were both looking down. Physically, they both had drooping shoulders kind of hunched over forward, and they were moving slowly. They just didn't seem to have a purpose to they're looking. So they looked from one thing to the next without any obvious plan. And I started to wonder about these people. I thought, maybe she's mad at him. And he knows it. And he's following behind her because he's wondering if he just hangs out with her while she goes shopping, maybe she'll get happy again at him. Or maybe they just lost a child or something terrible happened in their lives. And they are not feeling very hopeful. And they're just down there to pass the time and try to find something to do.
Maybe they've been sick for a while. And they're just trying to get out of the house to refresh and try to wake up from that haze of being sick. Or maybe it's something else. Whatever it is, there could be a million reasons why that couple is walking through the store not communicating and slowly passing from thing to thing with no obvious change of an effect or emotion. And as I watch it, I cannot possibly know, unless I ask them. Hey, what what's going on? And can you imagine that if I were to just walk up to these strangers in the store and just ask them what they're experiencing right now, they would probably not openly answer that. I mean, that's a little out of the blue.
But I am curious nonetheless. It's only one example. Right? Everywhere we go.
We see people every day. And we might have an assumption or a thought about them. And we have no idea if it's true. And just like that. We can also observe our own experience whatever's going on with us right now and we can question the reality that we feel we are experiencing.
110: Slow Down.
This is our last episode of season 2! We've enjoyed the inspiring, upbeat music of Danny Gokey as our theme song this year. Our license gave us one year of podcasts on which we were able to enjoy this special theme song. I hope you have loved it as much as I did!
For today's episode, we're looking at just slowing down. Enjoy the listen!
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
This is episode number 108. It's all in your head. Welcome to the mindset for life podcast, I'm so glad you're here talking about mindset. Things that we think. And the way that our brain controls literally everything we do. There's so much out there that tells us that our thoughts about something create the future. Whatever we're thinking we are capable of doing, or what is possible for us, becomes our reality. Ultimately.
Now, if you think about it, that really does have a lot of truth. I'm going to give you just a little bit of an example from my own life. And this will have to do with my trumpet playing in band. I don't know if I've mentioned this here on the podcast, but I chose to graduate high school one year early. So, I completed high school with all the necessary credits, a little summer school in there, and some zero period classes. And because of meeting the requirements in a shorter time, I just, I was a freshman, a sophomore, and then a senior, and I graduated. And when I went to college, my high school band director told me that I was missing an entire year of performance experience.
So he was cautioning me. He was a little worried for me that when I went to college, and I wanted to play music (I was going to be a music major), that I would be behind. Less developed than my peers. And I would really struggle. And he was right.
I got there, and I really did need a little bit more musical maturity. So I was in the lowest band, the lowest jazz band, the last chair in the ensemble. And I started to develop this thinking about myself that maybe I just wasn't good enough in music generally. And perhaps I should just not be doing that. And by the second year of college, I actually dropped out of the music degree and decided not to major in music, and I turned my efforts to a different subject matter.
Now, that's kind of a funny story. Because in the end, I did end up turning back to music. I did graduate, I became a band director and a music teacher. And I went on to get a doctoral degree in music later. I had a 21 year career in music. And I've been pretty successful as a musician and a music teacher. Even though that's the case, there was an experience I had in there that kind of builds off of that first experience, where I went to college thinking, Oh, I'm behind, I'm less-than. I might not measure up, maybe I should quit.
So this other experience was that eventually, when I returned to major in music as a trumpet player, I had to take trumpet lessons. And I would watch these other people who I highly respected--other students in the music degree--and I would see them performing with the Philharmonic at the university, or with the Wind Symphony, or taking solos in the Synthesis jazz band, which at Brigham Young University is a really high, well-performing jazz band. I would watch all of these things happening.
And I would think to myself, "I would really love to be that person one day, I would love to have a chair in one of those ensembles, first of all, but I'd like it to be first chair. I would like to play the fun parts that have the melodies to them. And I want to be really good at playing those screaming high notes." And one day, it just dawned on me that I was never going to get the opportunity to do any of that until I was already qualified as if I was in those ensembles.
And at that moment, I just realized I had better start putting in the effort, as if I was first chair in this synthesis jazz band, or putting in the effort, as if I was first chair in the Wind Symphony. And I started practicing literally three and a half hours a day. And I would space that out. So it did not exhaust me and did not destroy my emboucher, which is the setting of your lips on the trumpet mouthpiece. And I would go in the practice room for the hour that I had scheduled. And then I would stay until the next person arrived and kicked me out.
Sometimes I would get lots of time where nobody showed up.
107: Do You Say No Enough?
Welcome to the Mindset for Life podcast. This is Bethanie, your coach from Dr. B coach.com. Coaching with power, purpose and practical tools to help you show up with confidence.
Welcome to the podcast. So excited to have you with us. Today we're going to talk about saying no, in fact, the question today is, do you say no enough? Do you need to say no more often? Do you feel like your time is sucked away and you have no control over your opportunities or your time? If that's you, it's definitely time to think about saying no much more often.
There was an episode some time ago about you saying no too much. And that episode was about saying no to yourself, saying no to the things that you care most about saying no to your priorities. But today's episode number 107, we're talking about saying no much more often. So if you don't say no to other people, you are in fact saying no to yourself.
And you might be saying yes to things that you really want to do. These are great opportunities, great things that you want to go participate in people you want to be with. But in the end, it's not really what you want long term. So you get caught up in this whole time suck.
There's no time left, you're exhausted, you're overcommitted, you're overwhelmed. And you're wondering where to draw the line, how you can really stop the madness. And now it's time to start saying, No.
Today we're going to talk about this, gonna give you a couple of tips to help you say no to the things that you want to say no to give you a little courage on that. And we might as well dive right in. Our time and commitments change as we age. I just want to give you a little bit of background about myself as a person. I grew up with many, many options and opportunities. I was very blessed, very fortunate in my young life. I was in music, I learned piano from third grade onward. And I was in band, I got to play the trumpet, the flute, the tenor saxophone, and a bunch of other instruments too, when I was still in public school, so I had a lot of opportunities. As a result, I wrote music. So I composed music when I was a young person. And when I was a senior in high school, I wrote a musical. This musical had a lot of songs and a lot of speaking parts. And I wrote all the songs. And I recruited all my friends to be in the musical. Lots of people at my church came and made a nice, big audience. And I played the piano for all of those songs.
So I accompanied all of those songs too. I was pretty involved. I just did a lot of stuff. And I was also a science kid. So I took chemistry and physics and all the things that I loved. Early in high school, I took biology, in junior high, and there's just a lot that I was doing. I was not into sports, I was not a sports person. And that probably would have really made my time crazy and out of control. Because as you know, music activities take a lot. But I can speak from a place of knowing when I say it's easy to sign on for the next thing and the next thing until pretty soon, you want to do everything. You just want to do it all.
And when you're in that space, you don't know what you should choose and what you shouldn't. You're just going to say yes to all those activities. And in my young life, I felt that was okay, because there were very few actual responsibilities. But as an adult, that's dangerous.
We can't say yes to every single thing. If we take on every work project, if we take on every presentation opportunity, if we take on every chance for advancement or something new and special, we're going to be exhausted.
The other side of that coin is that if we say yes to everything, no one else gets a chance; no one gets an opportunity. No one gets to test themselves or shine or grow or contribute. So there's that too. And that's really important to be thinking about when we're choosing to say no. If we give someone else the opportunity in an area that we really need to get ...
106: How to Set Priorities for Your Time
Welcome to the Mindset for Life podcast. This is Bethanie, your coach from Dr. B coach.com. Coaching with power, purpose and practical tools to help you show up with confidence. We're gonna talk about a mindset to set priorities around your time.
What if there were these road signs in your life? Like you're driving around and you see a stop sign or a green light. What if in your life, these signs just sort of popped up in the corner of your view? What if you could just see exactly what the right choices were? And you didn't have to think so much about it? Wouldn't that be amazing.
And of course, that's not going to happen, because life doesn't work that way. In fact, if we had signs popping up all the time, telling us exactly what priorities to set, and how to manage our time, it would drive us crazy. Most of us would be super frustrated that we didn't have any choices at all. And of course, life is all about choices.
Choices about what we do with our time, who we spend our time with, what we make important to us in our lives, and about the priorities we decide are most important for us. Well, I have news for you today. What you are spending your time on right now in your life in this season tells the whole world including you what your true priorities are.
That's right, whatever you are spending all of your time doing, that tells us what your priorities might be.
I used to think that I was just too busy all the time, I would be studying, reading, doing some kind of learning activity. And I would also be doing something like working full time, maybe I was taking care of my family trying to raise my kids. Pretending and trying very hard to have a clean house, but failing miserably. And telling the story that I just didn't have enough time for all of this. And I could never quite measure up.
In fact, I think I lived in sort of this fight or flight constant state of overwhelm, thinking, I couldn't control all these things in my life, because they were all important. I needed to do all of these things.
Fast forward several years, many years, and I'm a lot older, and I have a lot more life experience. But I've learned a lot too. Perhaps you know what I'm talking about when I think about my priorities. So when I think about the way I spend my time, and I decide what I want to do with my time, if I look over the day, I can honestly say what my priorities are. If I want to sit and watch YouTube videos all day long, then leisure and loafing and relaxing and watching crazy stuff, that's going to be my priority.
But if I want to get up really early, and I go for a walk, do a little bit of stretching, take care of my physical exercise first, and then I get the dishes done. And then I run upstairs and do some of my work, make a few phone calls, connect with some people, and take care of my dog. And also spend time with my husband on the phone at lunchtime. All those things tell me that I have a lot of priorities. But I'm gonna do them in a way that helps me to touch those people that matter. Have that face time that I care so much about as an extroverted person. I'm also I'm going to break it up.
So I have a lot of energy and I can really manage my energy. One of the best things I could possibly do for myself is to exercise or walk first thing in the morning. Then get it done so I can check that box. But also it sets the tone for my whole day gives me a ton of energy makes me feel amazing.
What are your top priorities?
What you think about how you want to get up in the morning? What do you want those first 15 or 20 minutes to look like for you? Do you want to relax and leisurely get up out of the bed and calmly kind of ease into the day? Or do you want to leap out of bed and have your guns blazing (metaphorically speaking) and jump into action and be super energetic? Attack the day like you have all sorts of energy?
Whatever you choose,
105: A Mindset to Know that You Matter
This is episode number 105, A mindset to know that you matter. This is the mindset for life podcast. This is Bethanie, your coach from Dr. B coach.com. Coaching with power, purpose and practical tools, to help you show up with confidence.
Welcome to the Mindset for Life podcast, I'm very excited to share with you today the topic, which is about how much you matter. This is about a mindset for knowing that you matter. And how can you do this? That's pretty crazy, right? Because don't other people help us to know that we matter or make an impact or make a difference in the world?
I'm going to challenge that notion today. In fact, I think it's our job to decide that we matter and to know that we matter. It's not other people's job to tell us or to convince us of how much we matter. And when we decide that we matter as much as other people, we can show up more authentically and better than we ever could before.
So today we're going to talk about how you matter and how to develop a mindset to know that you matter. We're just going to jump right in. We all want to be seen, known, and loved. I was talking with someone earlier today who wanted to be seen just wanted to be noticed, acknowledged and appreciated at work. And when I was talking to this man, it was pretty obvious that he did not feel like his work made much of a difference. In fact, he wanted to know that he mattered. He started looking for other jobs a few months back and toyed with the idea of leaving his position to go to a new role. And he also kind of had his fingers in way too many situations happening in his life, because he wanted to feel like he mattered.
After we discussed it a few times, that's what came out in the conversation. I could not have known that unless we explored it. And he didn't realize it until he hit on an either. Really all those things he was doing were just ways to try to get some feedback, try to get some knowledge about himself.
Don't we all do that? Sometimes, we just look for ways to know that we exist. That we belong, that we make a difference. That somebody sees us, that they care about us. It's the greatest feeling in the whole world to be truly seen, known and loved for who you really are. And in the roles that we play, there are so many opportunities to get this kind of feedback. The question is, how can we develop it for ourselves so we're not just people pleasing all the time, looking for affirmation and feedback? Notice where you influence, and take note. The first thing I'd like to suggest today is to look at all of the ways that you influence. There are so many things that you do in your daily life that influence situations, people. If you have a pet, even. You can think about the family dog. We have one.
He's about what a year and a half old. Before that we had a dog that was 13 years old, when he finally finally passed away. They overlapped a little bit. So we still had our older dog when we got the younger dog, and with any of those animals, they cared. They wanted to follow us around the house. Sure, they thought we were going to give them treats and play with them. Yes, that's true. But they also really just wanted to love us.
The older dog that I'm talking about was our Golden Retriever named Buddy. He was the sweetest dog ever. And he would just go under my desk when I was working and put his head on my shoe. And just love me while I was just doing my work ignoring him. He was so full of love, and he never really seemed to ask for anything. And if you're not familiar with this, I just want to say that golden retrievers have this shape to their mouth. That sort of looks like a perpetual smile. It's so delightful. When you look at a golden retriever you think they're just smiling at you, even though that's just the way their face looks. It's the shape of their mouth. So that's just how it is.
But if you want to know that you matter.
This is episode number 104: Three ways to lift your mood (instantly).
Welcome to the mindset for life podcast. This is Bethanie Hansen, your coach. And I'm here to talk about three ways to lift your mood. Why would you want to lift your mood?
Well, there might be a reason; maybe you're going into a difficult meeting or conversation. Or maybe you're just trying to get through the work day and you can tell that your mood is low. Whatever the reason, lifting your mood is going to help you to perform better, and the things you do in work and in life. It'll help you show up in your relationships positively. And it will even help you feel great about yourself.
Whatever is happening in your life, in your work or in the world at large. Lifting your mood can have beneficial outcomes for you. Strike a "Power Pose" So the first way to lift your mood is simply to stand tall, raise your arms in the air, like you're making a Superman shape, or even the why and the YMCA song and breathe deeply. You can stretch your body out in this way. And you can feel all your muscles stretching, and you can get some oxygen flowing to your brain.
And that will help you to just move things along in your body and your mind. Breathing deeply stretching your arms out is an instant mood elevator. In fact, I believe it was Amy Cuddy, who did some research on this. And it's called a power pose.
When you put your arms in this large Y shape or V shape, like putting them out in their full extended strength, it makes you larger, it also helps you to feel power. Physically, it tells your brain that you're in charge.
And it can lift your mood instantly. If you're going into a job interview, or a difficult meeting, and you have a restroom or a bathroom, you could go into if there are people around, you could do this in private.
And you could just breathe deeply while you have that going with your arms. And you've already taken it up a level. So you've lifted your mood with just one simple action called a power pose.
Now, if you want a variation for that, one way I like to do this is to put my hands up in the air, my arms are straight, and I'm walking through a doorway. Because I'm five foot seven, I can touch that doorway easily. And I will just push my arms backwards just a tiny bit to even stretch them more. And it makes me feel alive and amazing. It's invigorating. And it also elevates my mood a little bit more. So there's your tip number one, lift your mood by stretching your arms all the way out and breathing deeply. Listen to Energetic Music The second way to lift your mood is probably my favorite number one way is music. Music can lift your mood and weighs almost nothing else can. Unless you choose not to listen to music, right again, do that because it's not reaching you anywhere. The the best kind of music, in my opinion, is 1980s Pop. And that just tells you what your I love.
So certain 1980s pop songs I can put on and they bring energy to me no matter where I am or what I'm doing because of the beat. And because of the message in the music, so they're happy. And even if they're breaking up with someone or they're singing about a negative subject 1980s Pop generally has a positive vibe to it. So the beat is a certain tempo that enlivens your soul and just brings energy to you. You know, the beat of the music really does have something to do with the energy that you get from that music.
You have a heartbeat that might be around 80 or 90 beats per minute during low activity levels or something like that. And if you start to exercise, maybe your heart, heart rates gonna go up to 120 Beats Per Minute 130. If you get music in that zone, and you just start listening to it, pretty soon you're moving faster, because it's pushing you to increase your physical activity. And it's helping you increase your heart rate just a little bit which of course brings you a sense of having more energy.
This is episode number 103: Shorten your suffering. Welcome to the mindset for life Podcast. I'm Bethanie Hansen, your host, and I'm here to help you shorten your suffering today. The word suffering seems a little bit odd at times, I don't use that word in my vocabulary very much. Some people do. Perhaps you do. Maybe you don't. Regardless of how familiar that word is, we all suffer.
We might suffer other people's attitudes; we might suffer limits placed on us from the outside world or people around us. We might suffer from world events that are happening, that are far removed from us. Or we might suffer from them as they are literally impacting us. And we're involved in them.
We might suffer from the loss of other people; we might suffer from uncertainty. We might suffer from so many things in our lives that literally impact us every minute. But we can shorten our suffering.
And it doesn't mean that we're bad or wrong to try to do that. In fact, it means that we're intentionally trying to find something else to focus on. I used to think that if I was really happy in a negative situation, that other people would think I was out of touch with that situation. And that probably does happen. Maybe you've experienced that too, where either you or someone else was trying to be joyful or happy when it was a tough situation.
I've had my own share of difficult situations in life. And I choose intentionally. There's an option where I can review the events over and over. And I can sit in that horrible situation, and I can keep experiencing those same emotions. What we know about neuroscience is that our mindset of being stuck in a place mentally comes from replaying the same thoughts and the same emotions are going to happen.
Pretty soon those thought habits take over. And we have this whole habit of feeling those same feelings and thinking those same things. And then we behave in similar ways over time.
Somewhere in my life, when perhaps I was younger, I started to latch on to this idea that I could actually choose to focus on different thoughts. And over the course of my life, I have also learned that there are many other people out there, either through their research or their philosophy, who have discovered the same thing.
We can look at a situation and see what is negative, how it's impacting us. How it's hurt us. And we can feel those feelings and we can think those thoughts and we can experience them. And it will cause more suffering.
It increases our suffering to do that because every time we think about it, we are literally experiencing the chemical rush of emotions that fill our bodies with that negative sensation, whether it's sadness, or despair, or anger, or frustration, or a whole host of other feelings. And yet, there's always something in the future. Either something that is a lesson learned, something that will contrast with the experience we're having now, or something good that will come out of the experience. Focusing on the Future Shortens Suffering Regardless of what that thing in the future is, we can choose to believe something better is coming in the future. Something will come out of this, we're not sure what it is. But it's always going to lead to something that could be beneficial, or could be good. I like to lean on that side of things.
So my goal is to decrease suffering by focusing on the future. Now, living in the present is important too. We need to experience what's happening right now and live in reality. And be very sensitive to our own experience and others. And feel what others may be feeling with empathy, and understand what others are experiencing. And yet, looking towards the future can give us a brightness of hope.
It can help us to just pick ourselves up from this place that we're at, and see that there's somewhere to go. And even if we don't know where that somewhere is it simply opens up the idea of possibility.
When we're thinking about a fresh start,
102: Do You Say "NO" Too Often?
Do you have a mindset to say no, far too much?
If you’re busy saying yes to everything but feel overwhelmed, like there isn’t enough time to get things done, you might be saying “no” to yourself, too much. We’re all saying no to something, all day long. It’s the opportunity cost of choosing. When saying yes to something, we say no to something else.
When you say no to taking a break, exercising, visiting family, and taking the time you need to be at your peak state of wellbeing, you might be saying yes to others’ demands and expectations. This can create a thought loop of feeling like we’ve been taken advantage of by others, or that others expect too much.
It you’re putting everything else and everyone else first, and feel like there isn't time for your own priorities, today’s episode is for you. It is healthy to take good care of yourself and focus on your needs and wellbeing. Today, learn about three areas to help increase your wellbeing and happiness: rest, social connection, and self-compassion.
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
If you have a lot on your plate, and you want a tip for managing stress, this is your episode! Today, listen for encouragement and a strategy to try.
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
When You Hit 100 Episodes, Celebrate It! Thanks for listening to the podcast. We're celebrating episode 100 today, by counting down the top 5 all-time podcasts in the Mindset for Life series.
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83 How to Let Go of a Challenging Situation https://drbcoach.com/83-how-to-let-go-of-a-challenging-situation/
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48 How to Wake Up Happy https://drbcoach.com/48-how-to-wake-up-happy/
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56 How to Use Your Emotions and Make Decisions https://drbcoach.com/56-how-to-use-your-emotions-and-make-decisions/
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80 You Know What Assumptions Do... https://drbcoach.com/80-you-know-what-assumptions-do-podcast/
1 Fear and Confidence https://drbcoach.com/confidence-and-fear/
Enjoy!
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
You may have heard this one: You can win, or you can learn. Are you learning?
Thanks for joining me today to talk about THAT kind of learning.
I've always loved learning, especially as a younger school child. Not everyone loves learning. In fact, sometimes stretching to understand, and experiencing the discomfort that goes with it, is a very tough experience.
Someone might say that you're naive to try to appreciate a hard situation and learn from it. But when you have two options--to choose negativity of the failure, or to own it and choose to learn from it, the power and resilience is yours!
We can handle just about anything, with a learning attitude. Join me for today's podcast.
Are You Staying Stagnant? Being comfortable is a really great thing. It feels good to be comfortable.
Like your favorite sweater. A soft pair of slippers. Your "chair." Or the way the driver's seat is set up for you in your car.
Your comfort zone is a safe space that makes us feel goof, familiar, and relaxed. We don't have to be too alert, try unusual things, or stretch.
But in the comfort zone, we also have expectations. This invites judgement, accusation, and disappointment.
In the comfort zone, we start to live in the land of expectations and disappointment. And pretty soon, we are stagnant.
Being stagnant feels "samey" all the time. Like eating the same foods all the time, a pretty bland diet.
As I coach others, it seems they typically want to find a zest for life again. That one thing that will fuel their excitement for life.
Yet it seems that we also want to stay comfortable.....
If you're feeling stagnant, from being in your comfort zone too long, today's podcast is for you.
If you really want to achieve your goals this year, there are four steps you can take to make success much more likely. In fact, by achieving your goals, you just might be extraordinary!
Take some time to consider why you want to achieve the goal. Dig deep here. It's got to be important to you. A superficial reason just won't cut it. What feeling do you hope to get from achieving this goal? And what kind of person will you need to be to reach it?
You can take that even further, and consider how not reaching this goal is keeping you stuck. What are you suffering by not reaching the goal? Sometimes considering the painful reality of what you're facing right now is the biggest motivator for change. It can help you stay motivated to reach your goal.
When you've clarified why you want to reach this goal, you can break it down into smaller pieces to take action. And even then your doubts creep into your mind, or your hidden saboteurs attack, you can keep going.
Join me for today's podcast and learn these four tips to help you reach your goals this year, for extraordinary goal achievement.
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
In today's podcast, you will learn three tips to help you create better goals in 2022.
If you have ever started a new year with good intentions and found it easy to forget the goal, you're not alone. Most people fail to keep new year's resolutions. But this year, to help you have the best chance of success, I'm sharing three tips for better goals.
Here they are:
Set imperfect goals. Focus on process, not outcome. Use strategy.
If you focus on imperfect goals, you have more flexibility to reach them. You can accommodate interruptions, and unplanned events. You can reach your goals this time.
When you design your goals around process, instead of outcome, you can build in the behaviors you need to reach the goal. And you're much more likely to reach it.
Lastly, using strategy means that you create goals around the ideas if what you will uniquely do to reach them, and what you will not do. You will make tough decisions and weed out some options. You will focus on differentiating your goal from the common goals of your past. And you will intensely focus. Here, you carve out your special niche.
Join me in today's episode of the podcast, and take advantage of three tips to reach your goals this year in new, extraordinary ways.
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
If you're looking for a way to close out 2021, you can use your strengths to celebrate the past year.
We all have strengths, and perhaps you already know what they are. You have talents. Positive attributes. And if you want, you can take an assessment to discover more.
The VIA Character Strengths inventory is a strength survey you might enjoy. And the Gallup StrengthsFinder is another. Whatever method you use to discover your strengths, enjoy them.
Noticing your strengths can help you appreciate who you are. And, when you look at the past year through a strength-based lens, you will learn something new.
You will learn that you have done very well this year. And, you got through challenges by applying your strengths. You might have even developed new strengths!
Listen to the podcast episode for more details....
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Have you ever wondered how to coach when you lead or teach others? You can help others succeed when you use a coach approach in your leadership or teaching.
There are four main ways in which you might coach others. The directive style is more teaching-focused, and you might see this in prepared coach-style classes professional coaches offer. The supportive or co-active approach is much more client or others-centered, where the coach asks questions to guide the person to come to their own insight and ideas. Regardless of the way you coach, coaching is all about helping someone else learn, grow, and become both confident and self-reliant.
If you're not sure how to use a coach approach, I recommend starting with the GROW model, which is well-known and easy to use. This model offers four parts to a basic coaching conversation and works in leadership, teaching, informal conversations, and intentional coaching.
And of course, before you have the conversation, get your mind into a space where you really are genuinely curious. Trying to coach anyone while you have an agenda of your own about their growth is not helpful. Developing curiosity to help means that you are open to learning, and you adopt a beginner's mind toward the person you're coaching. Here is Your Basic GROW Model for Coaching G = Goal. What is the goal? What are you tying to achieve? What does it look like, and how will you know when you have it?
R = Reality. Where are you starting from? What is your status right now, related to your goal? What is it costing you to be in the current reality, compared to reaching this goal?
O = Options. What are your options? If you could wake up tomorrow and have the answer, what would it be? What is one tiny way to move toward your goal? What is a giant leap toward your goal?
W = Will. After identifying and exploring options, what will you do? What resources do you have to support your choice? And, what kind of accountability might support your progress?
If you have already been pushing the person you'd like to coach, it's not too late. You can always try again, have a fresh start, and change directions. For more ideas about using a coach approach in your leadership and teaching, and to walk through the steps of the GROW model, listen to this podcast episode.
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Today, we're going to look at how to be more confident. Are there times when you'd prefer to be more confident?
Perhaps it's a situation in which you're leading others, or teaching.
Maybe you are launching your business idea.
Whatever it is, in today's podcast I'll give you three tips to move forward with confidence.
Just click to listen...
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
If you want to reach your goals, and you've never attained them before, it's time to stretch your comfort zone. In today's podcast, we talk about what it takes to reach new, different goals.
Are you open to doing new things?
Does this depend on your potential audience? Video Podcast: Click to view this podcast in video form! Today, we will consider stretches that are low-stakes, and those that are high-stakes. The degree to which you are willing to stretch might vary, based on the degree of change you'll need to make, your chances of failure, and your potential for audience response. For example, if you're alone and trying something new, it's not that hard.
But in front of an audience, things might be much more challenging!
Consider reaching those lofty goals you have set. This time is different. You will try things you have never tried before. And this takes an effort to stretch your comfort zone.
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
It might surprise you, but one thing can bring confidence, connection, and resilience. It's family history!
Take a moment to listen to the podcast, and consider how you can increase your confidence by learning about your ancestors and who they were, knowing that they are part of who you are. Feel connection to your larger family group when you get to know them, even though they may no longer be living. Finding details and stories about your ancestors can help you see that your own life isn't solitary. You are part of a larger network of people who have struggled, suffered, learned, and brought you here. Connecting to them brings strength and community through a sense of being part of a family, something much bigger than just you. And researching your family history builds resilience. As you find tips and clues about your family members long past, you learn about traits you also have. And this tells you that there is so much more to you than who you are right now. Here are some of the resources I consulted in preparing this podcast for you today: * https://medlineplus.gov/genetics/understanding/inheritance/familyhistory/ * https://www.familysearch.org/en/blog/why-we-need-family-history-now-more-than-ever * https://www.realmofhistory.com/2016/12/07/why-ancestors-bigger-impact-than-you-think/ * https://thefoxmagazine.com/dreaming-bigger/genealogy-the-importance-of-knowing-your-roots/ * https://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/17/fashion/the-family-stories-that-bind-us-this-life.html
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Having a mindset to let go and forgive means that we release the past, get present to our experience right now, and generate energy to find peace and thrive. In today's podcast, Dr. Bethanie Hansen shares strategies to release your connection to negative stories of the past, including self-blame and regret.
The four main ideas we'll explore include:
Release regrets. When dwelling on regrets from your past, recognize that they are only alive in your mind. They did happen, but they happened in the past. Other than your memory bringing them to life, these events no longer exist. What could happen if you allow yourself to let go, and stop carrying the weight of the past? When we are focused on regrets from the past, we cannot be fully present right now. As a result, we will be less than we can be, because we hold ourselves back. Forgiving ourselves can be the most important type of forgiveness we can choose. Be open to the possibilities of the present moment. Sometimes, we refuse to forgive and keep telling stories of someone who wronged us or some way in which we were victimized, so that we won't have to fully live in the present. If we let go of the past, will we choose to be open to the present? Are we willing to live in the current moment, and to experience what we have right now? Being open to the present by letting go of the past opens us to the possibility of courageously living with all of the challenges we're facing right now, and it can make room to feel peace despite so much chaos in the world. Let go by trying physical actions that anchor your choice. One way to physically let go is to hold your hands up in front of you and push them away, saying out loud what you're letting go of. A second way to physically let go is to open the door and invite the thought or story you've been holding onto to leave, then closing the door and letting go of that thought. The body holds feelings we have experienced over time, and for this reason, you might begin to feel physical relief from some of the negative influences that previously held you back. Notice what's real. Just as we must let go of the past to live in the present fully, we can anchor our thoughts in the present by physically touching things in the room with us and saying aloud, "This is real." Although this strategy might seem silly, it's a great way to remind ourselves that the thoughts bringing us anger, resentment, anxiety, and pain are just thoughts. They aren't really events happening in the present, if they are coming from relationships, events, or experiences in the past. They are in the mind, and by getting in touch with the physical reality around us right now, we can get focused on what's real and let go of what's not.
Some of the ideas shared about forgiveness in today's podcast come from "The CBT Deck for Anxiety, Rumination, & Worry, " by Seth J. Gillihan, PHD, published by PESI Publishing & Media, and available on Amazon.Com.
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Have you wondered how to get more sleep while working online?
The main idea behind online work is that it can be done anytime, anywhere. With no boundaries, this type of work can easily take additional time and energy.
For example, if you're an online educator, instead of working with a group of students all at once, teachers often write comments and feedback each individual student. This might happen more than one way, every week. At first, this work might be surprising to anyone new to online teaching. After getting used to the idea of regularly reaching each student, balancing one’s time and energy becomes important in order to continue teaching well and to maintain work-life balance.
And, healthy sleep while being an online worker of any kind is a critical part of the balance.
Here are some great resources you might want to explore:
Sleep is Your Superpower, by Matt Walker. Three Brains-Thinking to Doing to Being by Joe Dispenza
Resources listed here were consulted to prepare today’s podcast:
https://www.sleepadvisor.org/remote-work-sleep/
https://www.online.umich.edu/courses/sleep-deprivation-habits-solutions-and-strategies-teach-out/all-reviews/
https://www.sleepdr.com/the-sleep-blog/the-effects-of-sleep-deprivation-on-work-performance/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4610176/
https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/tired-at-work
This episode initially appeared on BethanieHansen.com in extended form, tailored to online educators. I hope you've enjoyed this focused version, generalized to anyone who works online.
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
In today's podcast, you're going to learn how to stop trying to achieve your goal, and do something else instead. That's right, focusing on goal achievement is not the best way to actually reach your goals for lasting change. But, there is a great way to do it.
If you're trying to make a habit or lifestyle change, you need a mindset to achieve any goal. Lasting change isn't easy, and it won't happen by changing habits short-term. To really make your goal for lasting change, consider how you will need to be qualitatively different to sustain that.
When you reach your goal, how will you be different?
How will you need to live in order to keep up the change you're seeking?
As you plan the goal you would like to achieve, imagine what kind of person regularly lives in a way that makes that goal possible. For example, if you want to lose weight and sustain it, what kind of lifestyle will a person who sustains long-term weight loss need to have? Or if you want to be more productive and less distracted at work, what kind of project management does a person who performs that way need to have?
The first and most important step to achieve any goal without relapsing into old thoughts and behaviors is to realistically visualize how you will be different in your future life of living that goal achievement. Once you can do that, you can achieve any goal. And you can maintain that success, becoming an even better version of you!
If you're ready to make habit or lifestyle changes to bring out your best, now and in the future, set up support. Some of the best ways to get support for reaching your most important goals include working with a coach, surrounding yourself with like-minded people, and acting as if you're already at the goal-line.
If now is a great time for you to work with a coach, let me know!
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Allison Maslan, an entrepreneur and author, said, “Once you make a decision, take action that moment. Write the letter, make the call, send the email. Show up in a bigger way than you ever have before, but don't wait for the planets to align. Take action now, and by next week, your anxiety will start to dissipate because you are going for it. I am always so impressed by persistent people, whether they are getting the results they want or not. No matter what, if they keep pushing forward, the big break they are waiting for is just one step away. Why would you ever want to miss that opportunity?”
I’ve thought a lot about that, and as a spiritual person looking to feel and notice more personal revelation every day, this is the pivotal decision: Once you make a decision, take action immediately.
When Lot’s family left, and his wife looked back toward their former home, it is suggested that she did it because she paused. She hesitated on the path forward toward her future, wondering if it was really the right decision. She longed for the past, looking back on and valuing what she left behind. The idea that she was turned into a pillar of salt is really about the fact that when we stall on our journey and question the decisions we have made, after knowing they are the right thing for us, it makes us completely immobile. Now, we hesitate between two decisions. Should we move forward on the path we realized was absolutely right for us? Or, should we turn back? Take the action that felt inspired and guided, or ruminate on our lack—all that we have lost, and what we gave up to begin the new direction?
The kinds of actions we need to take immediately after deciding are things like writing a letter, making a phone call, or sending an e-mail. Those might seem like small things that are fairly inconsequential, especially when compared to Lot’s family leaving their homeland never to return. But it is in the small and simple things we do every day that our entire lives, nature, and character are forged into patterns that can lead to our success and happiness. Those small things, like taking each little step without looking back, make all the difference.
When you take action now, next week, your anxiety will be smaller. She is acknowledging the idea clearly asserted in the book Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, by Susan Jeffers, which plainly tells us that we will ALL feel fear when we are stretching, growing, and moving in new directions. The only way out of the fear is through it—to do the very thing that we believe drives fear and anxiety. To avoid the action only increases the fear and whittles away at our self-confidence, replacing it with self-doubt and “should” statements we tell ourselves, statements that erode any drive to overcome those feelings and take the action. Allison knows, as anyone living large does, that acting quickly on your decisions keeps those fears and doubts small and actually makes the action much easier to take.
I am impressed by persistent people. They won’t always have a big impact or get the outcomes they are working toward. But by being persistent, they are much more likely to eventually make progress and find the way forward, little by little. After all, that is the very nature of persistence. The opportunity is certainly NEVER going to come if there isn’t any effort. But, by persisting in taking small efforts forward, or backward if that happens along the way, at least some kind of progress is more likely to happen. In some ways that effort can be a complete gamble. But, the alternative is just failure from the outset by doing nothing.
I’ve worked to be persistent throughout my life, and a lot of the time, I’ve been ridiculed or at least doubted by the people around me. I can understand that when I’ve got a vision of something internally and ideas to motivate myself to expect good things to come that others don’t share, they are probably justified in their doubts about my plans. However,
If you're focused on things that are outside your control, it may be time to redefine your vision of success. The end-goal is important, yes, but the journey is where the real work happens. For this reason, today we focus on the journey of success, instead of the outcome.
If now is a great time for you to work with a coach, let me know!
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
In today’s podcast we talk about mindset, and specifically how to leave the past behind, let go of a challenging situation, and look forward to create new possibilities. When stuck in a situation that doesn't go as planned this kind of freedom is just what we're looking for.
Have you ever tried to let something go, but found it just kept coming to your mind?
In the story I tell as an example today, that is exactly what happens. When something stressful won’t leave your mind, and you are trying to move on, it takes time and energy away from what we need to do in other areas of life and work.
To change the discussion, we use a tool with the circle of control, circle of influence, and circle of concern. This tool can help you identify what you can and cannot change, and find ways to focus in the areas where your time and energy can have an impact.
Some areas we typically think we can control, but over which we have very little influence, are:
What others say Other people’s opinions of us Whether other people agree with us Whether others like or dislike us Whether people are happy with us or pleased by us
And yet we can never control what other people say, think, or do.
Join me in this episode to explore the idea of letting go of tough situations, and find a new way to use the circle of control tool as well.
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
In today's podcast, I'm sharing ten common assumptions about life that don't work and three that help you. Assumptions are things we think or believe, but which we take for granted. We might have gained these ideas early in life or because of a single high-impact experience. Regardless of how we began thinking this way, these ten assumptions hurt our healthy mindset. Listen to the podcast for details....
While there are many assumptions that don't really work for healthy thinking, here are three that do:
Give others the benefit of the doubt. It’s not personal. In other words, it’s not about you. Small and simple habits bring big results over time.
It can be difficult to change even one small habit, especially an automatic thought we've believed over time. But letting go of assumptions about life that don't help us is a great way to change things in the future. And adopting a few new assumptions that open possibilities can serve us even better! If now is a great time for you to work with a coach to take stock of your mindset and try on some new habits, let me know!
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
If you've been looking for the one ingredient you need for work-life balance, it's confidence. Confidence comes from knowing yourself and clearly seeing your strengths and weaknesses. Only then can you say "no" and set boundaries, limit your time and commitments, and enjoy true work-life balance.
Join me for today's podcast about confidence, and consider ways in which you can learn more about your strengths and personality, and include others for your areas of weakness. You might think there is one definition of work life balance, but the truth is that each person has their own ideal of the best way to balance life and work.
To decide what work and life balance might be best for your situation, you can look over your strengths, your personality, and your weaknesses. Only with this kind of confidence can you really decide where you want your time and energy to go, and whether you find your life truly fulfilling.
To take the FREE VIA Character Strengths survey, visit https://www.viacharacter.org
To take the Gallup Strengthsfinder survey ($), visit https://store.gallup.com/
For a quick check of your life-balance in eight domains, visit https://drbcoach.com/wheel-of-life/. This fun, free tool allows you to rate each area of life, based on your current level of satisfaction. You can come back again and again to check your balance regularly, and titles for each of these eight domains can be changed to customize your results.
If now is a great time for you to work with a coach, let me know!
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
You know what assumptions do.... They lead to frustration, resentment, wasted time, pain, suffering, and anguish. Assuming is normal. We are wired to make assumptions to keep our minds working efficiently and leave energy for other tasks. But assumptions can limit our options. In today's podcast, I'll share some ways in which assumptions can stop our healthy progress, using the "ladder of inference."
If now is a great time for you to uncover assumptions that keep you from reaching your goals in life, work, or career, let’s connect!
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Have you put in long hours and lots of effort at work, only to go unnoticed? Working longer hours will not lead to increased recognition. Instead, each person must learn to talk about and share their accomplishments with integrity, regularly. The good things you do will give credit to someone, and that someone should be you. Listen to today's podcast to learn about sharing your achievements, and gain confidence.
If now is a great time for you to create strategy to get recognized at work, let’s connect!
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
If you've been wondering how to stop being frustrated, this podcast episode is for you. Common frustrations happen every day, in life, relationships, and work. But we don't have to feel frustrated about other people or situations. There are a few specific steps to take, which give us power to let go of frustration and feel differently.
If now is a great time for you to get control over your frustration in life, work, or career, let’s connect!
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
In today's podcast, I'll share ideas about facing a challenge with a neighbor; we'll explore using "beginner's mind" to learn how to love your neighbor more freely.
Some of the resources consulted for this episode are:
"The Work," with Byron Katie, available at https://thework.com/ , with worksheets on "judge your neighbor" challenges here → https://thework.com/instruction-the-work-byron-katie/#resourcesModal
"90 Seconds to a Life You Love," by Dr. Joan Rosenberg, available at https://drjoanrosenberg.com/, with downloads to try the method here → https://drjoanrosenberg.com/gift
If now is a great time for you to change your relationships, work, or career, let's connect!
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
If you face challenges at work, you might want a fresh start. What if you could get it, in a beginner's mindset with your boss and your peers?
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Welcome to the Mindset for Life Podcast, Season Two! In this second season, we focus on specific themes in the next 12 months to grow your confidence and increase your influence as a leader. Whether you are an educator leading the way for your students, a coach co-leading your clients' growth, or a manager leading your team forward, you'll benefit from a single focus each week for the next 52.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 17:20 — 23.9MB) Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Pandora | iHeartRadio | Stitcher | Blubrry | Email | Deezer | RSS | More
New Day, performed by Danny Gokey, (P) 2021 Danny Gokey, under exclusive license to Capitol Christian Music Group, Inc., was written by Ethan Hulse, Coby Wedgeworth, and Danny Gokey. Copyright © 2019 Better Than I Found It (BMI) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission; and EGH Music Publishing (BMI) / Be Essential Songs (BMI) / Colby Wedgeworth Music (ASCAP) / Fair Trade Music Publishing (ASCAP) / (admin at EssentialMusicPublishing.com). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
A Mindset to Make New Habits Stick Welcome to the Mindset for LIfe Podcast. I'm happy to share with you that there is a strategy to make new habits stick. Why is it that we start these habits, and they never last very long? Today, we talk about what it takes to make new habits stick.
And it's all about this: the idea of a fresh start. We have rituals and routines that center around new beginnings and the possibilities that come with them. It’s as if life moves in cycles, each one bringing the idea of a fresh start. We think that we have a clean slate. The chance to try again. And we are born again, with opportunities. We can renew, improve, and redefine ourselves.
Do any of these seem like new beginnings you might have have experienced?
New Year: People celebrate the old, ring in the new with parties, resolutions, goals. Beginning of the school year or academic semester. New clothes, a new pair of shoes. New haircut. Pictures of children ready to go to the first day of school. Secular and religious holidays. Monday Morning.
And in a research study, new beginnings also come from personal life events. They might be developmental milestones, life transitions, first experiences, or repeated significant things like anniversaries and birthdays.
Moving to a new town. Living somewhere new, making new friends, going to a new school, job, church congregation, grocery store, etc. Getting Married. Graduating from high school. Graduating from college. Getting that first real job. Getting a new career position or advancement in a job. A new title. New opportunities, responsibilities. New ways to stretch and grow. New baby. Full of promise and potential. There is the first time this baby looks at you. The first time this baby giggles. Or says a word. Or moves around, or even walks. We feel so much joy at the smallest achievements, smiling and laughing. We call our family and friends. We take pictures and video. Or… children are older, and they move out of the house, and we’re what we call “empty-nesters.” We have a new start and more space, and time to think of taking up a new hobby or adventure. Or could it be… Retirement? Retirement faces some people with hope and anticipation of what could be, and of new freedom, and it hits others like a sudden loss. Maybe it’s taking away the familiar and well-loved career and all of the people who go with it and bringing a new unanticipated season. Like it or not, it’s time to develop something new. Or move in a new direction for service and contribution. Or hobbies and a part time job. Or even relocating to live closer to the grown-up children.
So many opportunities, big and small, bring the idea of a fresh start.
Why do we crave new beginnings so much? And why do they hold so much promise and hope for us? The "Fresh Start" Effect Prompts Aspirational Behavior FIRST—New beginnings bring with them something special also known as the “fresh start effect.” Researchers from the University of Pennsylvania at the Wharton School studied this phenomenon and noticed that new beginnings naturally increase what we call “aspirational behavior.” And that means the motivation and drive to change ourselves, to become better versions of who we are. To let go of old habits, old and outdated assumptions about ourselves, and again, try to become better versions of ourselves. This fresh start effect happens because we are interrupted. We’re able to stop thinking about the day-to-day smaller tasks to check off our lists, and things to be done, and we can step back and see the big picture.
For example, with a new promotion or position at work, or even changing jobs completely, we can separate our past performance from the new opportunity. We have the opportunity to adopt new habits and somehow feel free of whatever old habits we used to practice before, and we might even feel like we are liberated of some of the expectations and demands we had placed on ou...
If you prefer to focus on your strengths and growth, and try to avoid looking at your dark side, now is the time. There are many benefits to looking at mistakes, challenges, weaknesses, and failures of the past. Today, we will look at three powerful take-aways from looking back, and how to become more confident as a result. Join me for today's podcast, as we examine your dark side.
This is episode number sixty nine: Loneliness and belonging.
Welcomed the Mindset for Life Podcast. This is Bethanie, your Coach, from DrBCoach.Com, coaching with power, purpose, and practical tools to help you show up with confidence.
Have you ever been lonely? I mean really alone. I have. I moved to a new town when I was a young adult for my first job out of college. I didn't know anyone. I was from a different state. I didn't have any neighbors I had met. I literally was completely alone, except for the telephone. I could pick up the phone and call my family two states away.
It was incredibly lonely those first few weeks, until I started my new job and made some friends in the workplace. Many people only know people at work. They don't go to a church group. They don't have neighborhood acquaintances. There are a lot of people in our world today who only know people at work. And in a period of pandemic times, with social isolation and people working from home, that can be incredibly lonely.
But what about in non-pandemic times? We can still be lonely in a crowd of people.
Loneliness is Common and Has an Impact on Us
Loneliness is a real problem in our world, and it can have devastating health consequences. First of all, there are some statistics about loneliness. I'm always interested in those. So, I want to share those with you. In a current survey posted on NPR in the beginning of 2020, the survey noted that three out of five Americans are lonely. Apparently 61% of all Americans are lonely. Of course, that was taken from a sample of ten thousand people and generalized to the entire population. The pandemic came along, and loneliness really picked up. So if you're not feeling the effects of loneliness, chances are that you have done things to overcome this and create connection. If you are feeling lonely, you're not alone. Many of us are lonely.
There's a lot that happens when we are lonely, because belonging is a basic human need. I'm not sure if you've ever heard of this, but there is a hierarchy of human needs, and belonging is one of the main needs that humans have. If you are alone, it can cause mental health problems like anxiety, emotional distress, addictions, depression. It can increase all sorts of health risks and decrease your quality of sleep. It can make it very difficult to stay asleep, if you are able to fall asleep. Social isolation and loneliness in older adults are also serious public health risks, and this does affect people all over the world. Belonging is the antidote to loneliness.
When it's missing, it hurts our participation in all sorts of things. So even if we go to work and there are people there, we may suffer from loneliness. It's difficult to show up at work and be our best selves. It compromises our participation at work. It also makes it hard to be a good spouse, a good parent, or to achieve at anything. When we're lonely we feel like discouraged and despairing. And if it happens for a long time, it can even generate attitudes of pessimism, cynicism, emotional isolation, and challenges to your faith. It can also take away your zip and yours zest for life, when it is there.
Belonging Strengthens Us and Begins Within
When we do feel a sense of belonging, it can bring pride in our family, in our neighborhood, and our friendships with peers we have at work or other places, pride in our community. Belonging can also give us emotional strength, self-assurance. It can help us handle all sorts of challenges and difficulties. Belonging increases warmth and motivation. I've been in situations where a person was lonely and many people around them reached out and tried to connect, tried to build community. And that person did not respond. They were not lifted up by these other people, even though their efforts were sincere and genuine. Why is that?
Where does the real belonging come from? It's interesting to think about creating belonging yourself.
If you have never before searched the Internet for brain-based ideas to increase your wellbeing, this is the perfect time to look. All around, people are investing time and effort into fortifying wellbeing. And implementing strategies that work with your brain and guard against faulty thinking will work for you, not against you.
In today's podcast, you'll learn four brain-based ideas to fortify your wellbeing.
If you struggle to have a mindset to prioritize what is important, today's podcast is for you. Where in your life are YOU uniquely needed? And where could anyone else do the job?
Listen for ideas about how to prioritize what is important for you to accomplish in your life and work. And consider what you can delegate, teach someone else to do, or delay and return to later. When you can see what is more important for you, it will rise to the top of your list. Spend a little time on it every day, and you will invest in what really matters for you.
Unsure of your strengths? If you would like to explore your important attributes, take the VIA Character Strengths inventory. If you know your strengths and are not really sure how to focus on what is most important to you more regularly, consider working with a coach. There has never been a better time to become the best version of you.
In today's podcast, join me for a dive into a mindset for self-compassion. For the reference article I mention during this podcast, visit https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_five_myths_of_self_compassion.
Have you ever set a well-intentioned goal, and felt like you had hidden saboteurs in your way? Your amazing traits, your values, and your character strengths can sometimes sneak up and stop your progress. In today's podcast, you will learn about ways in which your special traits can stand in your way. And, you will find encouragement to keep moving forward through these hidden challenges.
Some external resources that support today's topic you might enjoy....
The Real Reason People Won't Change... (Harvard Business Review)
Can we really change? In other words, can coaching really work?
Kegan, on Immunity to Change (YouTube)
How to Get Clarity
In today's episode, we'll discuss reframing. It's a method for looking at something in a new perspective.
Are you working from home? A mindset for working from home means that you can experience confidence, fulfillment, and joy while working from home. And you can experience life balance and quality relationships while working from home. Does this sound like a dream? It's not. It is entirely possible. Join me for today's podcast, to get encouragement and tips to develop a mindset for working from home.
What is challenging when you're working from home? When working from home, it is easy to allow the work to spread out throughout the day. This means there are poor boundaries around time spent and tasks to be done. It might also mean that we put ourselves last. When doing this, we lose confidence. We become stressed and overwhelmed. And pretty soon, things seem uncontrollable.
Beyond the stress and overwhelm, working from home can seem less fulfilling, in many ways. For example, we are not down at the office (or at the school, for you educators), seeing the physical reminder that we are professionals doing a "real" job. We don't have casual opportunities to run into people in the hallway, exchange ideas, and feel uplifted from a random five-minute conversation. A Mindset for Working from Home Can Help With a mindset for working from home, you can gain confidence over time. Confidence comes from noticing what went well every day, or at least every week. As you notice what went well, and you write this down, over time you build evidence of what you're accomplishing and completing. Even a little time spent on a project that was less focused than you would like is a win, when you're working from home in unusual circumstances. You might not notice your confidence growing at first, but as you develop the habit of noticing and reflecting on what went well over time you will grow in confidence that eventually becomes powerful.
This kind of mindset can also help you find fulfillment in your work. Fulfillment comes from not only noticing what went well, but looking for why it went well. Much of the time, you had a direct impact on what went well during your day. As you notice your own role in the positive "wins," this brings fulfillment. You might also notice others' impact on what went well, which can lead to feelings of gratitude. Your own role and others' impacts on positive aspects of your day come together to create meaning and fulfillment.
And what about joy? Joy comes from allowing yourself the space to experience the full range of your emotions, including the positive ones. You might find joy in anticipating a positive result, and then achieving it. Perhaps joy might come from noticing something like a puppy dancing around his toy. Joy can come from letting go of pressure and judgement, and accepting what is happening in the present. And of course, joy comes from connecting with other people.
These ideas, and more, can help you enjoy working from home with confidence, fulfillment, and joy. For more on these ideas, and to take them further in your own life, consider working with a professional coach. If now is the right time for you to try coaching, let me know. Get Started Now
There are real obstacles that hold us back from making changes and getting what we want in life. It's easy to identify an obstacle that is external. Perhaps it's your situation. Another person being difficult. Money. Time. And one area that presents obstacles to our progress is our inner thinking.
We are surrounded by our thoughts, and they seem like reality to us. We believe what we think. Yet sometimes, in an effort to help us, our brains return to thoughts that are less than helpful. In fact, they can become real obstacles. Worse, because they are within, and we may not realize these thoughts hinder us.
In today's podcast, we'll take a look at thoughts that block us from the very things we are trying to achieve. And I'll give you two tips to help you out.
Have you ever wanted to achieve something in your life, but you couldn't make it happen?
I'm talking about something really serious.
Perhaps you wanted to be more confident.
Today on the podcast, learn how to make better decisions through two strategies. Although decisions can be as unique as you are, you can make them with confidence when using your sensory modalities (the VAK), and a conscious reflection process.
Have you thought about your control, influence, and everything else outside of those two zones? It might surprise you, but we spend a lot of time, energy, and effort on things we cannot control. Getting clear on these areas can help you restore energy for things you can control and have a better impact.
In today's podcast, gain insight about the complexity of emotions, how to identify and feel your emotions, and how to use emotions in decision-making.
Many of us believe that emotions make things less clear. It’s this idea that facts speak for themselves, but emotions are much more subjective. In fact, when we feel difficult emotions about a relationship, a situation, or a decision to be made, it’s those feelings that keep us from knowing what we should do.
It might surprise you to learn that we can actually use our emotions to get clear and make decisions, instead of being stuck in them or feeling as if we’re surrounded by fog.
Today, I’m going to share some ideas that will help you out. You’re going to get some insight about how to use your emotions to work for you, instead of against you. And, you’re going to get a great tip for bringing out your best emotions in situations when you want to feel your best.
As an educator over the past 25 years and certified professional coach, I’m passionate about helping people live and lead as the best version of themselves. I’m all about helping you get clarity so that you can put good out into the world. So that you can have an impact in those things you do and be satisfied being who you are. Key Points:
What emotions do you feel most often? How to identify, recognize, and feel emotions. And why it’s important to feel them, rather than suppressing and “stuffing” them. Emotions give us helpful information and feedback about what’s important to us. Think about your values and what matters to you in any given situation. Slow down. Notice what messages your emotions are sending you, what this means for decisions you are facing, and how you can see your decision more clearly.
To sum it all up, today I’ve shared with you the important role emotions play in your life, and why they matter so much in making decisions. I’ve noticed that many of the people I’ve coached have spent a lifetime trying to push their emotions aside, wanting to escape them. This could be because emotions seem to hijack us in the moment, and we struggle to control them. But when we can slow down, notice what our emotions are telling us, and let them in, they can actually help us see things more clearly and make decisions that keep us aligned to who we really are and who we want to be.
If now is the right time for you to learn how to use your strengths, you values, and your emotions to gain confidence and experience a transformation—not matter how small—please visit me on my website at drbcoach.com. Although I have very limited openings for new clients, I’d love to help you take the next step forward in your life, work, and relationships.
You can find me on the web at DrBCoach.com, and on my Facebook business page listed as DrBHCoach.
Best wishes this week, being the best version of YOU!
This week, on the Mindset for Life Podcast, we look at how you can reach your goals by confronting three things that keep you from goal success.
Have you ever considered making New Year’s resolutions?
Have you set goals at the beginning of each year?
If you want to make a change in your life, big or small, the new year seems a clean way to do it. The calendar changes, and it seems that we have a fresh start.
But is it really true?
We bring our same assumptions, ideas, and inner thoughts with us into the new year. We approach this opportunity to change with the same set of tools we had the previous year. And we often fail to reach new goals.
This time can be different.
In this week’s podcast, you’ll learn about:
Negotiating the inner and outer experience to respond to expectations or criticism Noticing a focus on the past or future, vs. the present moment to manage worry and anxiety Working with the inner voice to think in new, helpful ways
When you tackle these areas of life, you become much more aware. And, new awareness brings capabilities to reach new goals.
You can succeed in reaching your goals when you use strategies to work in new ways. And, one of these strategies could be working with a professional coach!
If now is a great time to move forward in a personal or professional goal, take the time to connect with a coach. Professional coaches can partner with you to explore possibilities, help you align to your values, and celebrate success!
If you've ever felt that you're defending yourself, pushing, and resisting things that come your way, it's time to think about a mindset to create. In today's podcast, you'll learn about how we actually create much or our experience.
In today's podcast, we'll look at a fun fall activity: the Linder Farms Corn Maze., a great metaphor for navigating life and managing difficult relationships.
We are all excellent storytellers. We have the power within us to interpret, explain, analyze, and clarify things that happen in our lives.
This power can be used to strengthen us and open possibilities. Our storytelling can connect us to other people. Or, we can use storytelling to justify, excuse, diminish, and victimize. It's amazing to consider our own storytelling abilities and what they bring us in life.
In today's podcast, I'll share a few perspectives and examples of storytelling. You will see how storytelling can become a beneficial part of your own journey when used consciously.
In today's Mindset for Life Podcast, we'll explore how to wake up happy. You can wake up happier and motivated, wake up energized, and wake up and feel positive about the day.
Do you ever wake up feeling bad? Perhaps you have inflammation in your face or body? Or you feel disgruntled, and it stays with you throughout the day?
If you have these experiences, chances are that you would like to feel better in the morning. After all, waking up happier, motivated, and energized can start your day well. Happiness is partially about our thinking and partly about our physiology. If you want to become an even better version of yourself, the way you start the day can help move you in that direction mentally. And your quality of sleep can help you physiologically.
Here are three areas this podcast will cover:
What you focus on before you fall asleep at night. Three things to focus on (and to forget) during the day. Things to complete during the day, and the 80/20 rule.
For a link to The Happiness Paradigm, by Richard Eyre mentioned in the podcast, Click this link.
47: A Self-Coaching MindsetWelcome to the Mind Set For Life podcast. This is Bethanie your coach from DrBCoach.com. Coaching with power, purpose, and practical tools to help you show up with confidence.
Welcome to the podcast. Thank you for joining me today. I'm very excited to talk to you about a self coaching mindset.
Last week, we talked about a coaching mindset. Some of the key points I brought up centered around this whole idea of curiosity—genuinely being curious about other people. In order to coach anyone we must actually care about what they think, how they filter things, what their experience is like. It’s so critical that we have an openness and curiosity. Ultimately, that is going to serve those people that we’re coaching the best.
It could be that we're coaching formally. Maybe we're professional coaches. It might be that we're coaching as managers and supervisors and leaders. Or, it could be that we are coaching children or our family members. Whatever the source of the coaching, true curiosity and an attitude of learning, where we don't come assuming that we know all the answers, is going to help us the most.
So, when we think about self coaching, what does that bring? Why would anyone coach themselves?
It's interesting. When you go to Coach School, you learn a lot about how you need to keep growing as an individual. You need to seek out others to coach you. You need to constantly be engaged in self-growth, self-development, and self-learning. It's critical to actually practice what we’re preaching.
So, if you're actually thinking that coaching is a useful thing for your clients, it's definitely useful for you as well.
As you continue to learn as a coach, then you have thoughts about where to go. You’re always learning something, and you always have a mindset of curiosity.
So, coaching yourself. Let's think about this idea. Can you really coach yourself? If you're truly curious about things, it's definitely possible to coach yourself, right?
You can ask yourself all kinds of questions. You could do this and write through journaling and reflection.
You could do this out loud, you could talk to yourself. Some people really do this and have quite lengthy conversations out loud. Some people speak to themselves as they're driving in the car. Some people talk to themselves when they're just walking around the house. I myself am not person who talks to myself out loud, I think to myself and I write to myself. But I don't actually talk to myself out loud. However, there are lots of people who do it, and it's a very normal thing to do.
One of the things I advocate in professional Coaching is to create what I call your “personal evaluation plan.”
I have noticed lately in my coaching of other people, I'm hearing a lot of people who really want more feedback.
Several of my coach clients have complained that their managers do not give them enough feedback. I've also spoken with people who need more feedback about personal issues, but they don't really think it's appropriate to ask their family members for feedback. And they're not really sure how to go about it.
If you're looking for more feedback and are not sure where to go.... First of all, of course, I always recommend a coach.
Coaches are generally not biased about your life. They don't come at you with a lot of judgement or criticism. They tend to have openness and a lot of curiosity and a total desire to help you go where you want to go.
What if you're not able to find a coach, or if you just don't want to work with a coach?
Self coaching is a great opportunity to work with your issues or your concerns or your gifts and talents, whatever you'd like to do and to continue moving forward.
So if you're like many of these folks I mentioned who really want the feedback, increased feedback from others, or are not sure how to get it or not sure that you really want to ask for it, giving yourself feedback and being truly brutally honest with yourself is a...
If you have ever faced a big challenge, you're already aware; it is critical to know how to get clarity. How It Feels to Have a Big Challenge It hurts to face a big challenge and have no idea how to resolve it. It's painful, frustrating, and raw. If you're facing a big challenge you have never faced before, there's this conversation that might go on in your mind.
On the one hand, you might think that this is a common problem. Maybe everyone else has experienced what you're facing. Somehow, perhaps everyone else knew how to get clarity as well.
On the other hand, everyone else seems to know how to solve it. But you don't. And you aren't confident their answers will work for your situation. It could be embarrassing to ask for help.
Or it might push away your friends and family, who have thought you were amazing up to this point.
The big challenge is making you feel weak and completely lost. How to Find Clarity.... or Not So you Google it....
And you find advice that covers the entire range of possibilities, from ignoring the challenge, to walking away from it. And from ignoring your feelings and powering through it to hiring a specialist to solve it for you.
With so many possibilities, and the sheer size of this big challenge, none of these options feels good.
And you still don't know how to find clarity to see this challenge differently.
You know that you're stuck. And, you need to find out how to get clarity. Your Next Steps to Resolve the Big Challenge As you think about the awareness and clear thinking you're looking for, you really have two options. First, you can sit on this problem until something naturally unfolds. Or, you can find a magical way to see more clearly in order to actually resolve the problem.
If you sit on your big challenge until something naturally unfolds....
If you find a way to see clearly and actually resolve the problem....
In today's podcast, I'll share strategies to help you find greater clarity so that you can move through a difficult problem or challenge.
This is episode 43, Storytelling About the Past.
Have you ever told a story about the past? Or, maybe someone in your family told it about you? And in that story, you did something silly, or odd, or embarrassing?
When that story is told, it's just another reminder of our weakness or frailty. Or, maybe about our mistakes.
And the brain, which likes to draw conclusions quickly to save its energy, the brain screams out, “Yes! We really were silly, or embarrassing, or made a major mistake, and we always will.”
This idea that our brain likes to add to the story, that it will always be this way, it's something called an “automatic thought.” Stories About the Past Create “Automatic Thoughts.”
The brain loves to feed us automatic thoughts.
The interesting thing is that mistakes are just things that happen on the timeline of life. But they aren't the definition of who we are.
In fact, we can look over the past, the stories we have told about them and stories that others have told about us about past events, and we can actually change those stories and begin to see those experiences mistakes or life events totally afresh. In other words, we can change the past by changing the stories we tell about ourselves. Tips to Try In today's episode, you'll learn about stories we tell about our past. We can find new meaning by exploring automatic thoughts and taking control in the present.
When a challenge confronts us, we can get new results by asking reflective questions like these
What am I doing to create this problem for myself, or how do I escalate it? Am I giving up my control over the situation? Am I giving up my power to other people on purpose? Am I blaming others? Am I making excuses to justify why things are the way they are am I avoiding or putting off actions? What is my role in the problem? What is the benefit I'm getting when things stay this way? What is it costing me to keep things this way? What would I rather experience?
Once we can see the space between challenging situation we're experiencing and how we'd like things to be, we can take action.
Here's to being the best you this week!
Today’s podcast is about simplifying.
Have you heard of “minimalism?” It’s the idea that we don’t really need everything we have in our lives.
It could be material possessions. Or activities. Events we plan to attend.
Have a Mindset to Advocate for yourself, or in other Words, “Toot Your Own Horn” Have you ever wondered how to advocate for your best traits, or "toot your own horn?" Sharing what you're good at takes a courageous, confident mindset.
I’ve coached a lot of individuals from all walks of life and career areas who wanted more confidence. That isn’t what they said when they asked to be coached. But it was what they were seeking. What Do People Want? At first, we want to figure out how to be happier at work. Or, we want to know what to do to grow a coaching business the "right way." Or we are senior directors in the corporate world and in other leadership roles/ And, we want to learn how to navigate challenging managers, co-workers, or situations.
In several cases, we gain confidence pretty quickly. But, as we begin taking actions consistent with our decisions, we second-guess things ant stop again. And we are back at the place of feeling stuck. We wait for someone outside ourselves to approve, guide us, or give us confidence.
In all of these circumstances, many individuals I have coached had an unclear idea of who they really were. And, their sense of control was focused on things outside themselves, rather than what was inside them.
For each of these people, this feeling was frustrating. It is something I call “being stuck.” What Does it Mean to Be Stuck? When we are stuck, the way forward is unclear. It seems impossible to know what the “right” answers are. Possibilities are limited.
There is drama, and things feel heavy.
We may also feel isolated—like we’re on our own to figure things out with no good ideas about how to do that.
This stuck feeling stays with us, from work to personal life. We believe that if we just put in more time and effort, we’ll magically become free and resolve this problem.
And sometimes we do.
But it comes back again, and we’re waiting again for the right people, resources, and solutions to help us get unstuck again. What Would Help Build Confidence? What we usually want is an internal compass that makes sense to us.
We want to take action without waiting for the right answer from someone else. And, we want to trust our own instincts and thoughts.
Basically, we are were looking for confidence and clarity.
Many of the people I've coached have wanted what we all want. To know who we are, know that we are enough, and know that we matter. What Do We Lose if We Don't Adopt a Confident Mindset? When we’re not sure about who we really are, we can never become the best version of ourselves.
We question everything.
And, we take longer to do things because we’re always looking outside ourselves for the answers.
Ultimately, we wait for someone to tell us that we’re on the right track. Or that we are enough and will succeed in something we’re planning or considering. Confidence from Within Helps You "Toot Your Own Horn" My Grandmother Gladys sold braziers. On a typical day, she would observe others and see a woman across the street walking by.
And she would run across the street to tell the woman how she needed a new bra. And how she could help.
She naturally sold to women with the intent of making their lives better and improving not only their appearance but their physical posture and sense of overall well-being.
Gladys had no problem advocating for what she sold, because she knew it was valuable. And, she was naturally aware of her ability to help others. How Does Advocacy Work? As a music director, I disliked the idea of advocacy. Advocating for your job, your profession, your band, your music program, and all of these seemed like sales.
In my first band director job, I thought the people who hired me should already know and understand why having a band program was important to their school.
After all, they hired me, so they clearly already thought music and band were important. I thought I should not have to beg for budget money or ju...
When we take time to reflect, we create innovative solutions. We attack urgent tasks more aligned to our values and purpose. And, we balance fast, spontaneous thinking with slow, deliberate thoughts.
In today's podcast, you'll learn why reflection is a good thing. What Happens When We Don't Take Time to Reflect? And, when we don't take time to reflect, it has a big impact.
We slow down.
We're less efficient. And, we're more likely to make mistakes. Why Reflection is Good for You Reflection brings many benefits, including an increased sense of control.
When you write things down and think about your day, this strengthens your memory.
Furthermore, this habit can help you track personal growth over time.
As a journal-keeper myself, I attest to the fact that journaling gives structure to my own life. And, it helps me make sense of much of what I have done or experienced. How to Do It: Through today's podcast, you'll gain new strategies to approach written reflections.
Journaling is one way to reflect on your day, week, month, or year. When you write things down, you can record observations you make. Write about new ideas. Experiences.
In a journal, you might also write about feelings, emotional moments, and deep thoughts.
It's a great place to articulate your goals, dreams, and plans.
Reflecting about your work performance and growth are other areas you might consider.
Lastly, find a method that works well for you. And, make it a habit.
For more ideas about journal writing, visit IAJW.ORG.
Reflecting through an online app can make the process even easier. Tools To Try: If you're looking for a good journaling app, consider "Five Minute Journal." This one gives you options to include photos and suggests various prompts to get you started.
As second option is "Day One," which provides customization. Additionally, I suggest "Friday" because it helps you form a habit through automation, and tagging is another perk
Did you know that self-awareness is a mindset? Seeing ourselves, including our strengths, traits, weaknesses, and other attributes, can be a lens through which we see ourselves more clearly. Clarity comes from increased self-awareness. Self-awareness can save us both time and energy when we use it to determine our direction, next steps, and understand our daily work.
In today's podcast, I share five ways to become more self aware, inspired by an article from Harvard Business review called "5 Ways to Be More Self-Aware," by Anthony K. Tjan.
Here are additional resources for greater self-awareness, mentioned in today's podcasst:
16 Personalities Truity MyersBriggs.Org
Forgiveness is an elusive topic, and yet possible with a "mindset to forgive." Mindset is one's mental disposition. Our automatic thoughts.
Forgiveness is a character strength. If you take a moment to visit the VIA Character Strengths Survey, you will learn how strong of a trait this is in your life. If it’s not a strength for you or for me, it can be developed.
In his book “Forgiving What you’ll never Forget,” David Stoop wrote the following: “To forgive is, in the English language, an extended, expanded, strengthened form of the verb to give. By intensifying the verb we speak of giving at its deepest level, of self-giving, or giving forth and giving up deeply held parts of the self. We give up the right to revenge, to perfection, to justice, and instead we give forth to ourselves—or to the other person—freedom from the past and an openness toward the future. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves and others.” (p. 21)
In order to need forgiveness, we must first have judged that something SHOULD have happened. Or, something should NOT have happened. Either way, something is very wrong, and based on what we believe to be true, we might also believe that someone should fix it, make it right, or pay for it.
These beliefs are stories that go with our thoughts about what happened. About Forgiveness For today’s podcast, we’ll consider whether forgiveness is a mindset, and these questions:
How have you typically defined forgiveness? Why should we forgive? How do we do it?
HOW HAVE YOU TYPICALLY DEFINED FORGIVENESS? I used to define forgiveness as something I might want from others, when I have made a mistake. I thought it meant that I would apologize, try to fix whatever I did, and ask the other person involved to give me forgiveness.
When I thought about forgiveness this way, it seemed that I could never be in control of it. Someone else, outside of me, had the power over forgiveness. Perhaps I could never do enough to earn their forgiveness.
If that was true, then no matter how sorry I was, or how much I tried to fix things, ultimately someone else could decide whether I could let it go, feel better, and move on. Expecting forgiveness to come from someone else is a common way to think about it, but there are several reasons why this is a problem. Have you ever defined forgiveness this way? If we look at forgiveness as something someone else gives the offending person, there would be no forgiveness when someone has died, when there isn’t any way to contact the other person, or when the offender has truly changed and made things right but the victim is holding tightly with an unwilling heart.
So, for many reasons, forgiveness is not something we can expect to get from other people.
In his book “Bonds that Make Us Free,” Terry Warner defines forgiveness this way:
“Forgiveness, correctly understood, is the process by which we open ourselves to the reality of others and thereby undergo a profound personal change.”
When someone asked about how you can forgive another person and forget at the same time, Warner went on to say that “we cannot accuse someone in our heart and at the same time forget about the wrong we’re accusing them of doing.” After all, in order to forgive, we must first accuse someone of wrongdoing.
Accusation and Blame Basically, when we believe that someone has offended us, or wronged us, we accuse and blame them.
We might hate, resent, or hurt them in return. We harden our hearts against the other person and build invisible walls to separate ourselves from them.
It’s like we start a war with someone who has hurt us, because we believe they have done something wrong. And, in doing this, we are doing something wrong ourselves. We are harboring blame and accusations toward the other person. And, we are justifying why we are stuck in some way, because of what the other person has done. Examples of Being "Stuck"
In today's podcast, I'm excited to discuss how to overcome negativity in life, relationships, and business. Sure, it might seem a bit unusual that I'm excited about negativity, and I agree this is a strange polarity. I'm excited because negativity is everywhere. We experience it within ourselves, with family members, with colleagues, with those we teach or manage, and with bosses. Although not everyone is negative all the time, negativity seems to creep in everywhere.
Have you ever felt like you were stuck in negative thinking and didn't have a way out?
Have you ever believed that someone else was being negative, shooting down all of your ideas?
Today, I'll share three strategies you can use to tackle your own negative thinking.
I'll also share a conversation structure idea for managing negativity with another person, from "Conscious Business," by Fred Kaufman.
Both approaches are extremely helpful. If you're still wondering how to get through negativity today, this podcast will help you break free.
Negativity is a problem because it stops creativity. It closes doors. It removes possibility.
Negativity can become a mindset that shades everything, like wearing a pair of tinted glasses. Yet it doesn't have to be that way. Optimism and realism can exist together, and this kind of balanced perspective creates possibilities.
Enjoy the podcast!
For a link to the book I've mentioned in this podcast, Fred Kaufman's "Conscious Business," please click here.
The world we're living in begs us to have resilience. Consider the sculptor who chipped away at a rough block of stone, intentionally revealing the majestic elephant within. He claimed the elephant was there all along. And his job was just to remove anything that was not elephant.
Just like a rough sculptor's stone, you have strengths within that are already part of you. Some have appeared throughout your life. The uniqueness and beauty of your strengths can emerge.
Your strengths become clearer in adversity and challenging times.
To make room for your strengths to shine, you might need to further develop resilience.
Resilience is a skill set. Not everyone is naturally resilient. Resilience is being able to "bounce back." To recover from difficulty.
There are five key areas of resilience:
Locus of control. This is the belief that you can cope. That you can handle it. Connection. This is your support network and positive relationships. Self-awareness. This is what you think and feel. Your experience. Your impact. Creation. This is your intentional use of strategies, positive emotions, and purpose. Letting go. This is your choice to lose other parts of rough stone so that the beauty beneath can emerge.
As you think about your strengths and resilience this week, focus on core strategies to sleep, exercise, and rejuvinate.
Best wishes to you this coming week!
Let's look at what I learned about navigating uncertainty from marching band. You might not know this, but I was a music educator for 20 years, and I directed marching bands during 13 of those years. Marching band is a complex activity that serves as an excellent metaphor for navigating uncertainty.
Times we're living in now are more uncertain than ever. Yet the future is always uncertain, no matter how predictable it might seem.
Challenges we face can either help us grow or become our stumbling blocks.
When marching bands perform, each individual must play a musical instrument. The music is memorized. It must be expressive, dynamic, and artistic. And each performer must move around while playing. While adjusting the music and physical position to everyone else.
Imagine that.
Then, add rain and a slippery football field as the "stage."
How might you navigate this complex, uncertain circumstance?
Whatever your situation, I hope you will consider these tips from this podcast episode:
Focus on what you can control. Keep learning. Know & apply your strengths.
While we cannot know the future, navigating uncertainty is possible when we know ourselves and focus on what is within our power to control. Whether the field is what we expect or a slick one covered with rain.
Just like performing in a marching band on a wet football field during the final competition of the season, we can gain strength every step of the way during uncertain times.
In today's podcast, we'll consider how you can use your strengths to cope with uncertainty. There are many kinds of strengths you might explore as you consider your own traits and capabilities.
The VIA Character Strengths Survey is a science-backed tool. It focuses on positive psychology through character strengths and virtues. When you visit the link provided here, you gain access to this free tool. You will learn about your top 5 strengths and a list of other relative strengths you also possess.
When you learn about your strengths and find ways to emphasize them in your life, you may begin to see possibilities and opportunities.
Focusing on strengths can reduce your tendency to seek out what is wrong. Strengths can help you realize what you value most.
Using your strengths to cope with uncertainty might reduce anxiety by emphasizing what you can control.
The CliftonStrengths tool is another assessment used commonly in business and educational institutions. This tool is not free, but the results are well worth the investment. By taking this assessment, you will gain insight about your talents. You will also be able to access tips to use your strengths to the fullest.
Regardless of your method, identifying your own strengths is a rewarding process. Through awareness, you can focus on what is strong and how you can help.
Enjoy today's podcast, focusing on strengths.
This week, I'll discuss being an exceptional manager. These ideas are inspired by Conscious Business and The Outward Mindset.
Personal growth and development can take time. In many ways, it's like planting seeds and waiting for the grass to grow. Patience leads to this growth.
The sense of being "stuck" can be challenging and sometimes ambiguous. In today's podcast, I'll address two inventories that can open the door to stop feeling stalled.
Saying goodbye, memorializing endings, and finding possibilities in unusual circumstances is challenging. It might involve grief, disappointment, and loneliness.
Feeling stressed out? You might be experiencing higher level of stress than you realize. This podcast will give you solid ideas to manage stress and relax.
In today's podcast, I'll share how to stop reacting, then slow down and respond with intention to a difficult person at work.
Creativity is within us all. It can be enhanced, practiced, and developed. Creativity leads to possibilities and solutions, with 7 key concepts shared in this podcast.
Why we need to work at staying connected socially, whether we are introverted or extroverted. Although we might be social distancing during COVID-19, we need each other. Here are some wonderful tips!
During the uncertain times of COVID-19, daily habits can be comforting and reassuring. Habits can provide structure throughout the day and week, as we make small changes that lead to big results over time.
Expecting can be wonderful when we get what we want. But, what about unmet expectations when things do not go as planned?
Stress takes a big toll on your body and overall wellbeing. It can affect your sleep, lead to emotional eating, inhibit digestion, raise blood pressure and heart rate. Six ways to reduce stress include slow breathing, body scan, visualization, music listening, exercise, and chewing gum. The most important way to address stress in life is through mindset, to consider seeing things in new ways to find benefits over stressors.
In good times and in times of challenge and hardship, you have a choice. And I have a choice. Every human being has the availability of being able to choose. This choice is about how we look at things and how we look at people. So, today we are going to talk about the mindset of lack and abundance, why we should care about it, how to do it. And we’ll take it from there. This choice is about how we look at things and how we look at people. It can really be anything. Ourselves: maybe it’s our abilities, our personality, our body, our appearance. It can be the other people in our lives. Maybe it’s a brother or sister, or our husband or wife. Our child. A neighbor. Someone we work with. Someone we know about and see in the news or on the Internet that we don’t actually know. We have a choice about how we look at our circumstances. The house we live in. Our transportation or the car we drive. How much money we make or the kind of work we do every day. The choice comes down to the way we decide to see people, and circumstances, and ourselves. We can either see these as abundant or we can see them as lacking. This mindset or this perception of abundance and lack is sort of what we might consider two directions, or two opposite orientations about our thinking.
Becoming the best version of yourself is improving each area of your life and operating intentionally from the higher brain; a journey of self-mastery.
This podcast explores the ideas of being "in the box" and "out of the box," or, inward and outward mindsets.
Life is full of "defining moments," and you might be in one right now. Situations come and go that can shape us and allow character to become visible. In today's podcast, I share some thoughts about defining moments and three tips to help you determine how to approach situations so they can become positive jumping off points for the future.
You may have heard of Music Therapy, and it is a growing, reputable profession. But, what is Music Coaching? It's not about teaching you to play an instrument or sing. Instead, it is about intentionally choosing music to enhance your thinking or your mood. Some areas I'll introduce in this week's podcast are about tempo, lyrics, and style. Music is powerful, and it can be a tool for growth.
In today's podcast, we will look at limiting beliefs--those ideas we have that limit our success. We all have thoughts about our abilities, permission, and the way things are. But do we know whether these thoughts are keeping us from reaching our goals? First, we will explore typical ideas that can limit us. Then, we will consider how to question those thoughts.
In today's podcast, we'll explore power--also known as mastery--a critical part of self-growth and development. You'll learn about power and why it's a good thing, and some ways to focus on growing in this area.
Impostor Phenomenon was identified as early as 1985 and seems to impact a majority of achieving, successful people. You're not alone if you worry or feel anxiety about your efforts. In today's podcast, I share tips to work through this and other ideas about Impostor Phenomenon.
In today's podcast, I'll share four tips about how to become powerful in your own life by the way you make commitments and set goals. The most important thing you'll learn today is how to identify thoughts your brain will throw at you, trying to maintain your status quo.
Gratitude can boost health, improve sleep, and promote a happy mood. Listen for ideas about this topic and tips to make it a habit.
Many people think they lack direction, or wonder what their direction and purpose should be. Yet the answers are within, and readily accessible. In today's podcast, I'll share a simple idea about how to find your clear direction to this point and gain some joy in the process.
Here are 10 amazing hacks to help you lose weight and keep it off-from one who has lived the journey of losing 95 lbs. and keeping it off.
Resilience, Agility, and Emotional Agility Help Us “Bounce Back,” Stay Competitive, and Live Intentionally.
Have you ever felt like you were experiencing a "storm" in someone else? It's that time of year, when we tend to experience challenging people. Or.... are we the challenging one? Either way, its a great idea to think about mindset to improve our relationships and overall experience.
Give the best gift ever: be present. See and hear others, and immediately improve all of your relationships.
Perfectionism can stop progress and keep good people from becoming truly great. Although we might all experience it on the path to achieving a challenging goal, recognizing and defeating perfectionism the key to confidence and action.
Today, we look at the innter voice inside our heads that is busy developing mindset. It's the "chatterbox." Your inner critic or inner voice. Sometimes it is helpful protecting, calming, and comforting you. But, sometimes it tries to keep you from moving outside your comfort zone. Join me in the Podcast for two strategies to calm your chatterbox.
Mindset is our assumed beliefs, worldview, and unconscious thinking. It frames our experiences in life. Mindset is the key factor in life satisfaction and success, and it can make all the difference in changing. If you want permanent life changes, this is a good place to start.
It seems there are times when we should say no to extra work, opportunities, or requests others have of us. Yet, it can be incredibly difficult to say no. Today's podcast offers tips about saying no when needed to regain control and choose more carefully when to help, and when to focus on our own plans.
This week on the Podcast, I share ideas about ways in which we lead others, whether we know it or not. Knowing we lead wherever we go can help us consider greater meaning in what we do.
This podcast shares five truths from Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, with practical suggestions to build greater confidence.