Locker Room: Recent Episodes
Southland Christian Church
Locker room is a men's podcast from Southland Christian Church in Kentucky. When you think about the kinds of conversation that happen in locker rooms you probably think about vulgar, childish and demeaning language. In this podcast we are redeeming men's conversations by talking about the right things in the right ways.
Season 14 has been a great one for Locker Room. There have been so many stories of men and encouragement we can apply daily in our fight. This week on the podcast, Ian Schweitzer joins Scott to reflect on all we’ve learned in this season together.
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We want to challenge you to ask this question over the next several months in your quiet time: Jesus/Holy Spirit: What’s my next step as a Christ-follower, husband, dad or kingdom worker?
The book Scott referred to in this episode is Tempered Resilience by Tod Bolsinger.
NEXT STEPS
The live version of Fight Club—the men’s group Scott leads—will be at our Nicholasville Campus in August 2025. If you’ve not jumped in with us, or know someone who needs to—get the word out. We’ll have Fight Club on the Groups Directory at the end of July or early August so you can sign up. If you want to be a Table Leader at Fight Club who invests in the men, shoot an email to Scott at shatfield@southland.church.
Before we sign off for this season we ask our Locker Room family to be praying for unity and protection in this year of transition at Southland (Weece to Nickell). Pray for Jon Weece, Scott Nickell, and their families, our Eldership, our staff and our church. There’s nothing the enemy would love to do more than attack us in the midst of this transition. Southland has been a remarkable place where we have had God’s favor. Locker Room, we want to keep it that way. Let’s pray for unity, fight for unity and seek to guard and protect the mission and character of our church.
Thanks for listening. Keep fighting! Keep leading! Keep investing!
We’ll catch you next time in August for season 15 of Locker Room.
Most of us know a family member, a friend, a co-worker, or someone we went to school with that is in a battle with some kind of addiction. The truth is, it may be you, reading this now. Maybe you’ve never acknowledged it. Maybe you’ve lived in denial about the daily struggle that you’re experiencing. Regardless of how this subject has impacted you, we hope that you’re encouraged in our conversation today.
Our guest this week is Mike Mueller. Mike is a husband, father and coach in our community who has been a part of Southland for 13 years.
On this episode Mike shares the story of how God changed his life and is now using him to impact lots of people who have struggled with some of the same things.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Have you ever coached at the youth sports level? What is your favorite story from coaching kids?
Mike has served in several areas in the church (Connections, security, small groups, Men’s Retreat). What areas have you served in? If you don’t currently serve, what areas of ministry would you be best suited for?
Scott talks about how even if we don’t have the big name vices, most people have an addiction to something. What do you find yourself going back to time and time again despite the negative consequences? What are you addicted to?
Mike describes himself as a functional alcoholic. He did so much to cover up his addiction. Have you experienced this yourself or with someone you know? Why is this so dangerous?
Scott & Mike discussed the beauty of Rock Bottom. It’s the pivot point, it’s your opportunity to change, and to meet God. Have you ever had a Rock Bottom moment? What did God teach you there? What changed about you?
Read James 4:8-10. What does this passage teach us about how we deal with sin? What do you need to take from this passage to utilize in your own life?
Read Luke 9:23-24. What do you need to deny yourself of to follow Jesus? What are you still holding onto that’s keeping you from full life in Jesus?
Read Psalm 40:1-10. What does it look like to be fully authentic in front of God and others? Do you have a place to share the good, the bad, and the ugly of your story? For those who have shared their story, what was that experience like? How did God use that to grow you?
We want men to experience freedom. Is there something you are hiding and need to reveal to somebody? Will you confess it in this group? If not, will you email lockerroom@southland.church and let us connect you to somebody to confess to?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Visit the AA meetings that happen at our church:
- NIC Campus Thursday 6-8pm
- LEX Campus Tuesday 6-8pm
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GEO Campus Tuesday 7-8pm.
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Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
“I need you to know that God seems to throw me hard things. You just need to know what you’re getting into.” - Kailen Combs Taylor
This week on Locker Room our guest Bryan Taylor sits down with Scott to share a powerful story of love, loss and hope. Bryan and Kailen shared five years together before they were separated by her death from cancer in 2015.
In our conversation today, Bryan shares about navigating the grief that began with Kailen’s diagnosis and what life was like after she passed away. Bryan also shares how he was able to move forward, choosing hope and rediscovering life after such a profound loss.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
If you had to give a title to the last 9 months of your life, what would it be and why?
“War” is the title of the story that Bryan labeled such a hard period of his life. Has there been a time in your life that looking back you would label as “war?”
In grief you often don’t know what to say, and sometimes people say things that aren’t helpful. What is something someone has said to you that was helpful in a moment of grief?
Read Hebrews 2:17. Jesus was fully human. He knew exactly what it was like to have to navigate grief and feel the weight of life being thrown at him. Jesus understands what it is like to experience loss, because he experienced loss during his life. When you’re navigating grief, is it easy for you to run to Jesus? Why or why not?
Scott and Bryan talked about how the physical act of writing and journaling has been helpful as they navigated grief. When you listen to the concept of writing and journaling, what does that make you think? Is it something you are open to trying?
Read Isaiah 55:8-9. How does choosing to accept the truth of these verses help us to navigate grief by putting it in the proper perspective?
“It’s not the load that breaks you down; but the way you carry it.” What are some healthy ways we can choose to carry the circumstances life throws our way that won’t break us down?
Read Romans 8:35-39. The promise we can hold onto is that there is absolutely nothing in all creation that can separate us from the love of God that is in Jesus Christ.
Of the three insights Bryan gave at the end of the podcast, which one is hardest for you to hold onto when navigating hard times?
(1) No amount of agony is enough to dim Christ’s love for you.
(2) If you make your pain available to God, he won’t waste it.
(3) Hold onto the hope of the resurrection.
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
RESOURCES
- Even if You Don’t: A Love Story - Bryan Taylor
- The Lazarus Within: How to Choose Hope & Rediscover Your Life After Loss - Bryan Taylor
- A Grief Observed - C.S. Lewis
- Breaking Chains: Navigating Grief, with Gary Black - A Locker Room Podcast - February 28, 2025.
- The Time We are Given, with James Rutledge - A Locker Room Podcast - March 22, 2021.
NEXT STEPS
- Memorize Romans 8:38-39.
- Join a Grief Share Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
Providential relationships and pivotal circumstances are critical parts of great stories. Providential relationships are significant people God orchestrates to guide, support and shape our faith journey. Pivotal circumstances are events—both good and bad—that mark us, shape us and become a critical part of our story and testimonies.
Our guest this week—Daniel Mitchell—has lived a life marked by many providential relationships and events. Daniel joined the U.S. Marine Corps at age seventeen, landing in Tactical Air Navigation and later becoming a SERE instructor, also serving as a Chaplain.
Daniel and his wife Angela met while serving together at Southland's Lexington campus. Daniel now runs a handyman business/ministry and is also a counselor specializing in PTSD and sexual assault.
Jump in with us this week as we hear Daniel’s story, pivotal moments in his life and how, with God’s help, hope can drive out despair.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
If you could have any accent besides your own what would it be? (British, Western, Boston, etc.)
What is your favorite military movie of all time?
Daniel shared a miracle healing story from when he was 5 years old. Have you ever witnessed or experienced a miracle? Will you share that story?
“God has the best detours.” Daniel shared how God detoured his night of drinking to experience God’s love in a church. What detours has God placed in your life that showed you His grace and goodness?
Take 5 minutes or so for everyone to write down those 8-10 pivotal circumstances (good and bad) that have marked and changed your life. Does writing it down help you see how God was moving throughout your mountains and valleys?
Who have been the providential relationships that have guided, supported, & shaped your faith journey? Will you reach out to them and express gratitude for them? Will you look for opportunities to be that person for others around you?
“Where there is hope, despair doesn’t live.” Did you get a bit of joy or hope out of Daniel’s dog park story? Where do you find hope? In what ways can you manufacture hope if you don’t have any resources right now
Read Acts 9:15-16, 2 Corinthians 11:23-29, & 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. What can we learn from the suffering of Paul, how he handled it & how God handled it? What suffering or weakness do you need to bring to Jesus so He can be sufficient for you?
Read Romans 8:28 & 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. How can you cling to the promises God has made to us even in the darkest of time?
“Where you stare is where you will steer.” What have you been staring at (focusing, dwelling on) in your life? Does where you stare need to change?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
For most men, the key to our future and the quality of their life is in direct proportion with how we engage our past. We have to move towards our wounds in order to find healing. Regardless of our earthly father/step dad/absent dad, we need our good Heavenly Father to begin the work of healing us by fixing our past.
Our guest this week is no stranger to a challenging past. Brian and Scott sit down at the table to share from his life story of being put up for adoption and growing up in a tough family, but then allowing Jesus and godly people to help by acknowledging his wounds and finding healing. We’ll also dive into investing in our marriages, being an intentional dad, and expanding the circle through mentoring and discipling others.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Brian takes the first 5 minutes of the episode to brag about his wife. It is so important to verbally express the things that you love about your wife. What are 2-3 things you are grateful for related to your significant other? Be sure to also express those feelings to them this week.
Brian mentions that despite everything that has happened in his life, he is a victor through Jesus, not a victim of the enemy. What have been the times in your life where you have felt like you were a victim of the enemy instead of being a victor through Christ? How has God been faithful through those times?
Scott and Brian take some time to talk through their relationship with their wives and kids and a word that summarizes their conversation well is intentionality. As men, we have to intentionally fight for what is most important. What are some ways you have been intentional in your relationships and what are some ways that you need to be more intentional?
Love for Jesus overflows into your love for your wife, which then overflows into your love for your kids. It has to be in that order. Do you find yourself prioritizing your kids over your wife? Do you find yourself prioritizing your wife over Jesus? What can we do to prioritize the right relationships so that we can best serve those we are about?
Read Ephesians 5:1-2. Think through some people who have made a strong impact on your life. Who is someone in your sphere right now that is doing what you want to be doing? Make a plan to talk to them this week to learn from them and to hear their story.
What are the areas in your life that you feel like you have to be perfect? Don’t put a burden on yourself that Jesus hasn’t placed on you. You don’t need to be perfect, because Jesus is perfect.
Read 1 Thessalonians 5:11. One of the best ways that we can love people as Jesus loves them is by speaking encouragement. Who is someone in your life that you can serve by encouraging them? It could be your wife, one of your kids, a co-worker, someone in your small group. Shoot them a text or give them a call and see how the Holy Spirit will move.
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- Join a Serving Team at southland.church/volunteer
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
Today’s episode is big topic in this Breaking Chains series: Navigating Grief. It’s not called overcoming grief, it’s not called conquering grief or dismantling grief, because—like it or not—grief is part of the story. You have to go through it. It’s not good for us to avoid it or go around it. Grief is universal.
Join us In this episode as Scott and Gary walk through many different types of profound loss we may experience in life, including stories from their own experiences. Along the way, we will find wisdom and hope in God’s word on how to move forward.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Grief is a heavy topic so let’s start with a light question: Can you remember the time you laughed the hardest? (Or one of the times you’ve laughed the hardest?) Share the story with the group.
How do you define grief? The podcast defines grief as feelings of great sorrow, distress and emotional pain that stems from significant loss. What significant losses have you grieved in life?
The 5 stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, & Acceptance. When you look back on your times of grief are these stages evident?
Gary’s 5 emotions connected to grief: Profound sadness, guilt, fear, physical fallout/symptoms, & aimlessness. Which of these emotions have you experienced the most in your times of grief?
Scott’s 7 things to help navigate grief: Community, anticipate awkwardness, lean into your faith, support groups, grief counseling, anticipate and plan for “grief triggers”, & grieve well. Which of those help you the most in times of grief?
“A good friend won’t lecture, correct, or react to our insanity [in times of grief].” What does it look like to help others when they are dealing with grief?
The enemy will lie to us in our grief. Read 1 Peter 5:7 & Matthew 11:28-30. What do these passages say about God’s heart for us during our grief?
Gary and Scott talked about grieving the loss of people to suicide. What from that discussion did you need to hear?
Read Revelation 21:4. Some grief will never go away on this side of Heaven. What hope can we place in this truth from Revelation about when Jesus returns?
“Please, don’t turn the helpers away.” - Paul David Tripp. Are you in need of help right now? Who can be your helper?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
RESOURCES
Suicide:
- Hope Always, Matthew Sleeth, M.D.
Grief:
- The View From a Hearse, Joe Bayly
- Experiencing Grief, H. Norman Wright
- Good Grief, Granger Westberg
- It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan Divine
NEXT STEPS
- Look at our Care resources for Grief Share, counseling referrals, and more at southland.church/care
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
Our enemy understands the power of sin: the impact it can have on our lives and those we love. He knows if he can tempt, lie and deceive us into choosing sin—anything other than God’s best—then he can send us down a path that can really destroy our lives as men and wreck the things that matter to God.
Guests Will Briggs and Matt Williams join us this week on the podcast as we look at how we can recognize the plays of the enemy, the temptations and tendencies in our own hearts, and move forward on God’s path, breaking free of the chains of habitual sin.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
What are some of the daily habits in your life? Did these parts of your day become a habit intentionally or unintentionally?
What comes to mind when you think of the term “habitual sin.” Is it a specific sin? It is a certain memory? Is it a particular feeling or emotion?
The guys talked about how no one chooses to just blow up their life one day, but that sin begins to creep into our lives in small ways. Sometimes just a “small” lie of asking for a water cup to fill up with a coke. These “small” sins are ways that the enemy can get a foothold into our lives and a foothold can easily become a stronghold where the enemy has control over our actions. What are the “small” sins that the enemy is attempting to use to pull you away from Jesus?
Share a time when you struggled with habitual sin and the freedom you now have. What is a habitual sin that you struggle with right now? Celebrate the victory and acknowledge the struggle now.
Read Romans 6:5-7. When it comes to habitual sin, what do you believe is true? The enemy tries to convince us that we will always struggle with this and that we will never be truly free. But followers of Jesus are promised that they have everything they need to overcome this sin. Who are you listening to?
The guys mention 5 keys to overcoming habitual sin. Which of these keys have you overlooked in your struggle with habitual sin that you need to implement?
- Practice confession and repentance daily (Hebrews 4:16 & James 5:16).
- Ask God for help through prayer (Psalm 121:1-2).
- When we become a Christ-follower, sin is no longer our master (Romans 6:6-7 & Romans 6:22).
- God’s Word gives us the promise of God’s help in the face of temptation (1 Corinthians 10:12-13).
- We leverage the Holy Spirit in our lives (Galatians 5:24-25).
“You can’t heal from what you hide.” The Bible teaches us that we do not have to hide in our sin and our shame but we can confidently come to God in our sin so that we may receive mercy and find grace. Is there a specific habitual sin that you need to confess to God and to another follower of Jesus?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Take 45 minutes this week to read through and reflect on Romans 6. Bring a journal and a pen and sit with the Holy Spirit as you reflect on the truth of Scripture.
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
This week on Locker Room we’re starting a three-part series called Breaking Chains, looking at three things that can lock us down and stop the work Jesus wants to do in us. First up is perfectionism.
Join Scott and returning guest Gary Black as we talk about some of the downsides of perfectionism and offer practical suggestions to get a handle on it, so we can step onto the path of freedom—freedom from self-imposed guilt, needless anxiety, unnecessary pressure, and the many compulsions associated with perfectionism that can drain the joy from our lives.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Who was your favorite teacher growing up? What made them so great?
Has anyone made an impact on your life that you only met once? Who was it and what impact did it have?
What comes to mind when you hear the word “perfectionism”? Is that something you struggle with? Or are you on the other side and no one would ever call you a perfectionist?
The Dangers of Perfectionism: It destroys your initiative. It damages relationships. It destroys happiness. It leads to a rules-dominated life. It leads to constant over-analysis and fear-based decisions. Which of these dangers have you witnessed from your life or those around you?
Action Step 1: Admit you have a problem. Read Psalm 32:1-5. Is there a problem of perfectionism you need to admit today? Or anything else you need to confess?
Action Step 2: Stop demanding perfection from others. Read 1 John 1:8. No one is perfect, including you! Where do you find yourself demanding perfection from others? (Friends, coworkers, kids, wife, etc). How can you release them from those demands?
Action Step 3: Develop a realistic awareness of God’s love. Read Romans 8:38-39. Do you really believe God the Father has adopted you and loves you unconditionally? Even in the highs and lows? What does it look like to “relax and enjoy God’s love” as Gary says?
Action Step 4: Go out of your way to love others. Read Colossians 3:12-14. Who are you serving in life? Where are you serving? Where are you living out what Paul calls us to in this passage?
The best time to change is now. What will you change today to start becoming who you want to be tomorrow?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
The words we speak should reflect a heart transformed by God.
Grace and truth should drive us in our conversations, whether it be with our wives, our kids, our friends, people at church, people at work, people that don’t believe what we believe, and those who aren’t fans of Christianity at all. Grace and truth, in every conversation.
Our special guests this week are two of Southland’s elders, Rob Campbell and Rob Workman.
Join us as we dive into how to speak life with our words.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
What is something you learned from the guys as they talked about the ways other men have invested in them and how they’re investing in their marriages & their kids?
Scott mentions a number of times in the Bible where the words that are said have power. God speaks creation into existence. Jesus literally speaks life into Lazarus. Jesus speaks the words “Be still!” and a storm ceases. What do these passages say about the importance of words?
Read Matthew 12:36-37. What is Jesus saying about the impact our words have?
Has there been a moment when someone has spoken life into you?
Scott and the guys talked through 4 points of how we can be better at using our words to speak life. Below are some thoughts and questions to reflect on each of these points:
(1) Bring grace and truth into every conversation.
One of the best things we can do to gauge how we use our words is to ask someone close to us what they think of the language we use. Who can you ask this week? What do you imagine they would say?
(2) Using our words to talk to people about Jesus through telling your story.
Vulnerability and authenticity lead to curiosity. When we’re talking to people who don’t follow Jesus, two of the best ways to reflect the love of Jesus to them are to be vulnerable and authentic. Is it easy for you to do these two things? What can you do to be more vulnerable or more authentic in your relationships with people?
(3) Own it when you mess up.
Who do you need to have a conversation with to own a way that you’ve messed up? Is there someone at work? Your wife? One of your kids?
If you never apologize, you cannot expect other people to apologize to you. You need to own it and take the first step in order to set the culture.
(4) Express gratitude, appreciation, and encouragement.
Encouragement means to breathe courage into people. It is easy to forget what is true. Who is one person in your life you can encourage by telling them you are thankful for or proud of them? What can you tell your wife to remind her that you love her and want to serve her? What can you tell your kid to remind them that you are proud of them? What can you tell a friend to show them you’re thankful for them?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
This week on the podcast we’ve invited returning guests Jason Byerly and Kevin Comp to kick off a two-part series called Watch Your Mouth. Even though this series is short, be prepared for it to get into your business and step on your toes.
Today’s episode is about the power of our words—an area that all of us men need to work on.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
The Super Bowl is just a week away. Who are you picking to win? Who will be the MVP? Is the NFL rigged
Three important Questions: What did you learn from Kevin & Jason about how they are investing in their marriages & kids and the men that made an impact in their lives?
What comes to mind when you hear the phrase “Watch your mouth”? Share a story of when your words got you into trouble.
Read Luke 6:45. What would you say your heart is full of based on what comes out of your mouth?
Read James 3:1-12. How have you seen words set things on fire and cause destruction? Why do you think man cannot tame his tongue? If this is impossible for man, what are we to do?
What areas of leadership do you carry? How have you been utilizing your words in these spaces? What did you take from the challenge of Kevin and Jason?
Talk through these Biblical principles. Which of these principles do you need to apply to your life now to watch your mouth?
- Repent, Confess, Let Jesus be Lord of this area of your life. (Acts 3:19, 1 John 1:8-9, Psalm 81:13-14)
- Acknowledge the wounds that have come from those who have hurt you and ask God for healing. (2 Corinthians 10:4-5)
- Apply God’s Word and partner with the Holy Spirit. (Romans 12:2, Galatians 5:22-25)
- Do something drastic. Limit, eliminate or take a time out from things that are working against you. (Ephesians 5:15-16)
- Surround Yourself with Men who are on the same journey. (Proverbs 13:20)
- Praying God’s Word in our lives. (James 1:19-20, Ephesians 4:29)
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Join Fit to Fight in Georgetown
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
Every day we have to choose between comfort or growth. Comfort may be the American Dream, but it’s not God’s heart for us. God calls us to grow, and grow up. We have to take risks, step out on faith and trust Him if we’re going to become the men He created us to be.
This week we are looking at a story found in Matthew 14, Mark 6, and John 6. It’s the account of Jesus walking on water and Peter asking Jesus to call him out to walk on the water too. Join us as Scott and our guests, Ian and Ariea break down what it looks like to push through fear and step out on faith.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Winter has been in full swing the past couple weeks. What are your thoughts on the winter season? Do you love the cold and the snow? Do you hate it because scraping off your car in the morning is annoying? Are you somewhere in between?
What is one way you’ve been winning this past week? This could be in your marriage, with your kids, with your career, or any other part of your life.
Read Matthew 14:22-32. Is there anything from this passage that sticks out to you? What does this passage say about who Jesus is? What does this passage say about how we should respond to Jesus?
When Jesus says “Take courage! It is I. Do not be afraid.” what comes to mind? Our relationship with Jesus is one where we can come to him no matter how we have fallen short or how much we have failed. Do you believe that to be true?
Read Matthew 14:29. Take a moment and imagine you are one of the disciples sitting in the boat. You see this figure walking out towards you. You hear this figure tell you to not be afraid. Then you see Peter step out of the boat and onto the water. Then you see Peter WALKING on the water towards Jesus. What would your initial reaction be? What would you be feeling?
Where in your life do you need to trust Jesus? What circumstances in your life have the chance to get in the way of keeping your eyes on Jesus? Is there anything you can be doing to best set yourself up to keep your eyes fixed on Jesus even when these circumstances come up?
As Christian, we are called to treat others as Jesus has treated us. Is there anyone in your life you need to treat with the same tenderness as Jesus treated Peter? Is there anyone you need to ask forgiveness from because you have treated them without tenderness?
Which of these applications that Scott mentioned stood out to you the most? Which of these are hardest for you to run after?
(1) Taking risks are necessary for growth.
(2) Faith in God is crucial.
(3) Failure is not the end.
(4) Overcoming fear is essential.
(5) Stepping out in obedience leads to life change and missional impact.
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
RESOURCES
- If You Want to Walk on Water, You’ve Got To Get Out of the Boat, John Ortberg.
- Oceans, Hillsong UNITED
NEXT STEPS
- Join Fight Club in Danville
- Register for the Pre-marriage Workshop at southland.church/marriage
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
Sometimes when we bring our pain and circumstances before God—if we don’t see results or quick fixes to our lives instantaneously—we just give up. Or we forget that we’ve journeyed off the path for years or even decades and we think we can microwave it and just instantly be better, healed or whole.
Jesus isn’t looking for you to give him the one thing that’s keeping you up at night—He wants you. He wants everything. He wants your heart. He wants all of you. He wants to build our faith. He wants to build our relationship with Him.
This week on the podcast, Scott sits down with our guests Mike Allen and Neil Gregory to unpack a conversation Jesus had with a man at a pool, when he asked, “Do you want to get well?”
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Did you grow up going to the pool? What comes to mind when someone says “Let’s go to the pool?” Share any good pool stories you have.
Read John 5:1-15. What stands out to you about how Jesus interacts with this paralyzed man?
What came to mind when the guys were discussing the prosperity gospel and churches that lean too heavily on supernatural healings & miracles? Do you have any experience with this?
How would you feel if you or someone you loved was sick for 38 years? Have there been any moments in your life where you felt stuck, hopeless, or frustrated at God like this?
Jesus asks this man “Do you want to get well?” When have you tried to “get well” in the wrong ways? When have you given up on “getting well” too easily? Is there something you need to do to “get well” that you have been unwilling to do?
What circumstances has Jesus called you up out of to get you where you are today?
What is Jesus telling you to “Get Up” from in your life right now? What do you need to heal from that can only come from God’s power?
Do you follow Jesus and have the power of the Holy Spirit? If yes, how can you listen to the Holy Spirit and what he is convicting you of? If not, what is holding you back?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Join Fight Club in Danville
- Register for the Pre-marriage Workshop at southland.church/marriage
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
Welcome back to Locker Room! We’re kicking off Season 14 with a series called Encounters with Jesus. We’ll be zeroing in on some cool moments Jesus had with different people in the gospels. We’ll learn about who Jesus is, the mission he’s on and gain practical insight on who we are as men, and how we are called to live our lives.
The first encounter we’re looking at is described in Mark chapter 2, when Jesus was moved by the faith of four men who acted by any means necessary to get their paralyzed friend in close proximity to him so he might be healed. Join us this week for Encounters with Jesus: Through the Roof.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
What were some highs and lows of your Christmas season? What were the best parts? What were the worst parts?
For all the new Locker Room groups, how have you been involved with Southland? Have you gone through Fight Club? Are you part of a serving team? Do you attend Sunday mornings with your family?
Read Mark 2:1-12 with your group. Stop after each verse and discuss anything that catches your attention. What does this verse say about Jesus? What does this verse say about you? Is there anything that we can apply from this verse?
“Sometimes Jesus gives us what we need before he gives us what we want.” Presence before joy. Grace before freedom. Hard conversations before a healed relationship. Are there any ways in your life right now that Jesus is giving you what you need rather than what you want?
Jesus forgives sin. This is one of the most important messages of the Bible. Jesus has the ability to forgive sins because he is God and because he was the one who took the punishment of our sins when he went to the cross. What sins do I need to bring to Jesus and be forgiven of?
Imagine how the crowd reacted to this interaction between the paralyzed man and Jesus. How would you have reacted if you saw this interaction?
Make no mistake, the greatest miracle in this story is that this man received salvation. Have you received the salvation that Jesus offers? If so, tell your group the story of how you came to know Jesus.
How do you view the interruptions in your day? Do you find them frustrating? Are you listening for the Holy Spirit in your day to day in order to love people like Jesus loves?
Do you want Jesus to be moved by your faith? What about your faith do you need to be more intentional about? Is it the way you parent your kids? Is it the time you spend in the Word before anything else? Is it the way you intentionally spend time with your wife?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Groups kick off January 17th. Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- Start a Locker Room Group.
- Sign up for Fight Club at the Danville Campus - starting Monday January 20, 7-9pm.
- Sign up for the Marriage Workshop, March 7-8 at the Lexington Campus.
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
We've just wrapped up Season 13 of Locker Room, but we wanted to bring you four bonus episodes from our Men's Retreat in October. We've had a lot of guys talking about it, and a lot of men who couldn't be there. We've released one each week to remind our men who attended, and to share with those who couldn't be there.
This message was from the final session of the retreat, and is called Declare War and Fight.
Locker Room will be back in the new year for season 14 on January 17.
We've just wrapped up Season 13 of Locker Room, but we wanted to bring you four bonus episodes from our Men's Retreat in October. We've had a lot of guys talking about it, and a lot of men who couldn't be there. We're releasing one each week to remind our men who attended, and to share with those who couldn't be there.
This message was from the third session of the retreat, and is called There Will Be Blood.
Locker Room will be back in the new year for season 14 on January 17.
We've just wrapped up Season 13 of Locker Room, but we wanted to bring you four bonus episodes from our Men's Retreat in October. We've had a lot of guys talking about it, and a lot of men who couldn't be there. We're releasing one each week to remind our men who attended, and to share with those who couldn't be there.
This message was from the second session of the retreat, and is called Warrior King.
Locker Room will be back in the new year for season 14 on January 17.
We've just wrapped up Season 13 of Locker Room, but we wanted to bring you four bonus episodes from our Men's Retreat in October called Battle Ready. We've had a lot of guys talking about it, and a lot of men who couldn't be there. We'll be releasing one each week over the next four weeks to remind our men who attended, and to share with those who couldn't be there.
This first message was the opening night from our retreat, and is called, Open War is Upon You.
Locker Room will be back in the new year for season 14 on January 17.
This week we’re wrapping up season 13 and this Giants series with a big one: DOUBT. Men doubt God’s existence, God’s Word, His promises, making sense of the problems in our world and they even have doubts around God’s Son, Jesus.
The cool thing about God is He’s not afraid of our doubts and questions. He actually invites us to bring our doubts and questions to Him. God has given us a mountain of evidence to draw us into an encounter with Him. If you’ve got doubts and questions, that means you’re normal.
In this episode, we won’t answer every big question. But we’ll try and create some clarity for some of the bigger ones we run into in life. Join us this week as we sit down with guests Dusty Bailey and Kevin Comp to talk about the Giant of Doubt.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Have you ever participated in a Trust Fall? Were you the faller or the catcher? What did it teach you about trust?
Doubt: the wavering between two minds or lacking confidence, assurance, or complete trust in God. How have you defined doubt in the past? How did this conversation help you reshape it?
The driving question of the podcast was “What if doubt isn’t the enemy of faith but the primary element of it?” For your own faith, has doubt been an enemy or primary element of it?
What specific ways does the enemy use doubt to discourage and destroy you?
Read Genesis 1:1 - Creator and Creation - how were you encouraged in your faith by what was shared about the world and universe we live in? What do you still struggle with when it comes to fully trusting Genesis 1:1?
Read 2 Timothy 3:14-17. What does your relationship with the Bible look like? Do you see a correlation between spending time in the Word and having a stronger faith? How can you rely more on God’s Truth and less on yourself/the world?
How has the enemy used pain and suffering to cause you to doubt? What has been the hardest season for you to cling to your faith?
Scott, Kevin, & Dusty all mentioned times of doubt in their own lives. They also mentioned several heroes of the faith in the Bible who doubted God. Which of those stories encouraged your faith the most? Why?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
RESOURCES
- Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis
- The Case for Faith, The Case for Creator, Lee Strobel.
- Evidence that Demands a Verdict; Evidence for Jesus, Josh & Sean McDowell.
- The Reason for God, Tim Keller
NEXT STEPS
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
If you lead in any way, you are going to face criticism. Dealing with criticism is a part of leadership—period. One of the greatest weapons that the enemy uses for leaders is discouragement. Discouragement can often come from criticism. It doesn’t matter how hard you try, how much you care, how pure your motives and right your decisions are—criticism is coming—and you shouldn’t try to avoid it. It’s something that we all have to navigate.
Join us this week as we welcome back Scott Nickell and Jon Weece to talk about how to face and process criticism in a healthy way.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
What is the wildest piece of criticism you have ever received?
Read John 15:18-21. There are so many areas of life where we can be criticized. We can receive criticism at work, at home, in church, from friends, from relatives, and the list just goes on and on. What are the areas of your life that you receive criticism most often?
Whenever you experience criticism, what is your gut reaction? Do you get defensive? Defeated? Something else?
Oftentimes when we receive criticism, our gut reaction is to get defensive. However, there are times when there is some truth in the criticism we are receiving. How can you determine when criticism has some truth in it and when it does not? Is there anybody in your life you can ask to speak truth to the criticism you have received?
Our identity as followers of Jesus is not dependent on what others say about us or to us, but is dependent on who God says we are. Is this easy for you to remember? How can we remind ourselves of who God says we are in the midst of the criticism we receive on a consistent basis?
Whenever we receive criticism, our body begins to build up stress. When our body builds up stress we can unintentionally become critical of those we care about. What spiritual and mental checkpoints do you have in your life to be able to process the stress that comes from criticism?
Read 1 Peter 2:23. Jesus handled criticism in two ways: He would either respond in truth and grace, as he did with the religious leaders, or he wouldn’t respond at all. One of the best things we can do when we experience criticism is to listen to the criticism and not respond. Is this something that is easy for you? How could it help you navigate criticism better?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
Resentment and bitterness can infiltrate our lives in so many ways. Things that have happened to us beyond our control can darken our hearts and eat us up from the inside, negatively impacting our emotional and physical health, even affecting our relationship with Jesus.
The enemy loves to capitalize on this too, because we as men sometimes struggle to acknowledge our feelings, frustrations and fears.! Many men don’t have strong relationships where they talk about real things and it leaves them with gaping holes of unaddressed pain and legitimate frustration. We end up harboring resentment, holding grudges and building up cancerous bitterness. When we don’t address our wounds, it always, always comes out at some point.
We can’t control what people do to us, but we can control our response. The only thing we control is our response to the stuff that comes our way and we need God’s power to be able to respond in the right way!
On this episode of Locker Room, we sit down with our guests Jason and Parker to talk about how to move forward with processing resentment and bitterness, while still guarding our hearts and minds.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Talk about the worst/best camp experience you’ve had.
What were your first thoughts when you saw the topic was Resentment and Bitterness? Do you struggle with these giants? Do you tend to hold a grudge?
READ Hebrews 12:14-15. What can this passage teach us about these giants and how to deal with them?
The only way that we can kill the giant of bitterness is FORGIVENESS. That starts with understanding we have been forgiven by God from a multitude of sins we can’t even fathom. Is that difficult to accept? What does it feels like to be forgiven by God and by others?
READ Mark 11:25. Share a time when you forgave someone. How did you feel afterwards? God commands us to forgive. Do you take this command seriously?
Three steps to forgiveness - Step 1: We own what happened. Step 2: We acknowledge the pain that it brought on us. Step 3: We choose to forgive. Which step is the most difficult for you? Where in this process do you get caught up?
READ Romans 12:19. Our world and our flesh loves revenge, but we are commanded as Jesus followers to have none of this. How can you fight feelings of wanting to get revenge?
The guys talked about the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. What stood out to you about that conversation? Have you had a time when you were able to reconcile with someone you forgave?
READ Romans 12:18. We can only choose our own actions and responses. Is this hard for you to accept?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
Shame is a necessary emotion. Shame can be helpful. The way we feel about our wrong decisions and choices is meant to steer us towards God, towards repentance and towards healing. If we never feel shame, it means something is broken inside of us. There are things that we should be ashamed of, but with God’s help we don’t need to stay there.
Satan tries to manipulate our emotions in an effort to keep us locked up in our shame. He wants us to fixate on our sin, poor choices, bad decisions, to live in regret.
Today on the podcast we will discuss steps we can take to move forward, to repent and bring this stuff to God for forgiveness and healing.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
At the start of this episode, the crew talked about their childhood bully stories. Did you have a bully growing up? How did you deal with them?
With an episode surrounding guilt and shame, it is important to know the difference between the two. Scott defines guilt as, “to break or disregard God’s commands,” and shame as, “the feelings that come from sin and breaking God’s good commands for our lives.” Guilt is what comes from willfully sinning and shame is the emotion that comes from guilt. How do these definitions help you better understand the giants of guilt and shame?
Read Philippians 3:18-19. What does this say about those who choose what they want over what God wants for them? Read Philippians 3:19-21. What is the difference between the person described in the verses 18-19 and the person described in verses 19- 21?
What is the difference between shame and toxic shame? This is an important distinction because shame is an emotion we all feel, but toxic shame is what the enemy uses against us.
How we respond to guilt and shame often says a lot about what we believe about what God thinks of you. What does shame drive you towards? Does it drive us towards God or away from God? Does it drive us towards repentance or to something that numbs the feeling of shame?
A lie Vandee pointed out in the episode is that "we are enough." The thought that we are enough to fight our own sin and pull ourselves up without help is a lie. The truth is that we aren’t enough. Confession acknowledges we need God and other godly people in our lives. Is confession difficult for you? If yes, why?
Read James 5:16. Who are a couple of godly people you can take a risk on trusting, and confess what you’re going through? This could be your wife, a godly neighbor, someone in your group, or someone you look up to.
One of the best ways to fight the giants of guilt and shame is to fully trust God’s word. Read Psalm 32:1-2 & 103:12 & Hebrews 8:12. Do you believe these verses to be true? Do you believe what God says about your sin?
As men, one of the hardest things for us to do with our guilt and shame is to forgive ourselves. Nate suggested an exercise to help us see our need to forgive ourselves from what God has already forgiven us. Finish the sentence: “If ________ did ________, I would still forgive them.” Now replace their name with your name and read the sentence again.
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
Resources
- “Take You at Your Word” Cody Carnes
- Shame and Guilt, Lewis Smedes
- Victory Over Darkness, Neil T. Anderson
NEXT STEPS
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
There are no harmless lies. They all have consequences. When we exchange the truth of God for a lie, there is a price to pay. Join us in the conversation as Scott and guest Greg Chandler drill down on five specific lies that the enemy wants us to believe and how we can counter each lie with truth from God’s word about who we are and what we are called to.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Everyone in a group, play the game “Two truths and a lie.” Try and learn something new about each person in the group.
Scott and Greg dove into the idea that all lies begin with Satan; that Satan is seeking to steal, kill, and destroy. One of the most significant ways Satan attacks us is through lies. Satan twists God’s word. He lies. Do you believe that Satan has the power to deceive us? Have there been any times that you realized that Satan was trying to deceive you through a lie?
What comes to mind when asked this question: “What do you think you deserve?” Is this a thought that is true from God or a lie from the enemy?
Which of the 5 popular lies that Scott and Greg talked about do you find yourself believing most often?
- It’s all about me.
- I am damaged goods.
- God doesn’t love you and won’t forgive you.
- Things will never be different. Things will never change. I can’t recover from that.
- I can't spiritually lead my home.
What lies does the enemy bombard you with on a consistent basis? How do you see these lies affecting your life?
What lies do I need to renounce?
Read 2 Corinthians 10:5. Do you have consistent time set aside in your life to take captive every thought? If not, what can you do to set aside 20 minutes a day to read God’s word and wrestle with these thoughts? Our thoughts could potentially be true thoughts from God or they could be lies from the enemy. By taking every thought captive and comparing it with God’s word, we can know what is truth and what is a lie.
Take a moment and think about this question: Do you want the truth? Do you really want to know the truth about what Jesus says about you? You will never fully know the truth if you do not want it.
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
RESOURCES
- Lies Men Believe, Robert Wolgemuth
- Live No Lies, John Mark Comer
NEXT STEPS
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
God has hardwired all of us for biblical community. One of God’s greatest gifts are his people. It’s found in doing life with others. All men need this. Every man should experience this. We never graduate from the need for community and accountability. When we leverage the power of community, it helps us to deepen our faith, make us more like Jesus and empowers us to live our lives on mission.
This week on the podcast, Scott and our guests John Sampson and Matt Williams sit down at the table to talk about group life: getting into a group by taking a step out of a row on the weekend to experience community with other men, and building solid, healthy relationships with other guys.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
What was the first time you remember feeling part of a community or a group? (Examples could include being on a sports team growing up, participating in a school extracurricular, living in a college dorm, etc.)
What has been your experience with finding community with people who follow Jesus? Has it been difficult?
For guys in a group, what held you back from joining a group before joining a group?
For guys who are not in a group, what is currently holding you back?
Read Proverbs 13:20 and 18:24. Who we let into our lives is an important decision that we sometimes don’t consciously make. However, it is important to think through who we let speak into our lives. What are some characteristics of people you would want to be in community with? Are you also attempting to live out those characteristics?
Read James 5:16. Biblical community is a space in our life where we can be vulnerable; we can’t heal from what is hidden. The Bible calls for Jesus followers to confess their sins to one another and to pray for one another. We must be men who confess to one another and pray for one another. What needs to be confessed in your life to another Jesus follower? Who is another man that you can be praying for?
Read Romans 12:15. Biblical community isn’t exclusively about sharing what’s going wrong in your life. Biblical community is also about having fun and rejoicing with your community--to celebrate when celebration is called for. What are some fun ways you can connect with your community? (Host a bonfire, share a meal together, get outside.)
Sometimes when a group has met for a while, expectations can be forgotten. If you’re in a group, what expectations need to be reset for your group to be the best group possible?
Most of the time we don’t have the margin to add another thing to our already busy schedules. However, there are probably some things in your life that are taking up your time and aren’t as beneficial as joining a group. By saying “no” to certain things, we can say “yes” to joining a group. What are some areas of your life that you need to say “no” to in order to make time for biblical community?
Question for those who are not in a group: What questions do you still have about joining a group? What can you do this week to find answers to those questions? Make a goal that by the end of the week you’ve found your answers.
Question for those who are in a group: What can your group do to shake things up a little bit? Is there someone you can serve in your group? Do you guys want to start serving together? Do you want to find something fun to do as a group?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
Boundaries are easy to see in the physical world: fences to define property, lines in the road to define lanes, and boundaries at a sporting event to define what is in and out-of-bounds. Physical boundaries are for our good, and for the good of those around us.
In our spiritual, relational, and emotional worlds, boundaries are just as real, but often harder to see. Establishing healthy boundaries increases our ability to love, interact, lead and care for others in a way that God is honored. It also empowers us to have healthy hearts and healthy relationships.
Join us for today’s episode where we dive in on the power of establishing healthy boundaries.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
If you could go back and relive one moment of your life, what would it be and why? If you had to forget one moment of your life, what would it be?
Scott mentions that healthy boundaries do two things. (1) They protect what belongs to us and what's under our care and concern. (2) They keep the wrong things out and the wrong people out. What are some examples of both of these purposes for setting up healthy boundaries? What do we need to protect? What do we need to keep out? Are what we need to protect and what we need to keep out related to either memory you would relive or forget?
Sometimes hindsight is the best teacher. Has there ever been a time when you wish you had set up a boundary that might have protected you or someone you care about?
After listening to the episode, on a scale of 1-10, how important did you think healthy boundaries were? Do your current boundaries, or lack of boundaries, reflect your answer?
Read Ephesians 5:15-17 | How can setting healthy boundaries with others help us to make the most of every situation as Paul is encouraging us to do?
It isn’t always natural for men to set boundaries. We don’t always think about them, and we end up in situations where we realize we need to set a boundary. Are there any areas in your life where you may need to set up a boundary to protect what is most important? What area is that?
Read Proverbs 4:23 | Setting boundaries cannot be an optional thing we do. It is something we HAVE to do. What specific boundary do we need to set in order to protect ourselves and those we care about?
Who can you ask in your life to help hold you accountable to the necessary healthy boundaries that you are going to set up? Maybe your wife, your roommate, your small group? Set up a plan to talk to them right now.
Many of us probably wish there was someone in our lives at some point who could have pointed out the need for setting a healthy boundary? Is there anyone in your life that might benefit from being told about the need to set healthy boundaries? Can you be the person to gently point them in the right direction?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
RECOMMENDED BOOKS
- Boundaries, Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
- 9 Things You Simply Must Do, Dr. Henry Cloud
- Boundaries For Leaders, Dr. Henry Cloud
- Necessary Endings, Dr. Henry Cloud
NEXT STEPS
- Sign up for Men’s Retreat (October 18-20) at southland.church/men
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
To follow Jesus is to fish. To say yes to Jesus’ invitation is to say yes to personal evangelism. To receive the gospel is to also share the gospel; the good news. Yet, there’s an awful lot of churches and there’s an awful lot of people who sit in the boat and they don’t fish. They don’t fish for all kinds of reasons.
In this episode we will zero in on some practical things to empower men to share the gospel with people in their lives.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
If we asked the person closest to you (wife, relative, friend) what is a fun fact they could give us about you
Have you ever rescued someone or something? Think big or small rescues. Share a story of when you “saved the day”.
Read Luke 19:10. Jesus made it clear: He was here on a RESCUE MISSION. He invites his followers to join him in that mission. How does it make you feel when you are told you are on a rescue mission for the Kingdom of God?
Jon equated spiritual maturity with three verbs: serving, giving, & loving. Based on that measure, how spiritually mature are you? What evidence do you have to support that evaluation?
How do you define discipleship? How does that line up with how Jesus made disciples and sent them out?
Read Matthew 28:18-20 & Mark 12:30-31. How do you strive to build your life around the Great Commission and Great Commandments?
Scott & Jon discussed three categories of people who do not participate in evangelism: Those who isolate themselves from the world, those who feel they aren’t capable, & those who think it’s someone else’s job. Which of those three categories are you in danger of falling into?
Praying, serving, inviting, & sharing your testimony were all practical examples of how to get involved in evangelism. Which of those comes more naturally to you? Which requires more work?
Think through the stories of the woman at the well (John 4), the Blind man who was healed (John 9), and Matthew throwing a party with sinners, disciples, & Jesus (Matthew 9:10). How did those people participate in evangelism? What example does that set for us in our modern context?
Who is someone in your life that doesn’t know Jesus? How can you help them come to know Jesus this week/month/year? Will you commit to doing it?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Sign up for Men’s Retreat (October 18-20) at southland.church/men
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
Today's culture is attempting to push us off the path Jesus walked, and instead onto a wide road of personal preference and, “living your own truth.” We are increasingly encouraged to choose tolerance-based values and strike down our conceptions of right and wrong about sex, gender and marriage. Even the definitions of words are changing. If we take a step back, we can see how culture at large is twisting and affecting even those inside the church.
Join us for this episode of Locker Room, where our goal is to talk about the importance of choosing God’s Word to be our ultimate authority, which creates a filter (worldview) for how we interact with God and the world around us.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Do you have any favorite old-school rappers? What music did you listen to in your younger days? Did you watch breakdancing in the Olympics? Could you win a dance battle?
The Bible tells us we have three enemies: Satan & demons, the flesh, and the World. How have these enemies affected your worldview? (Worldview defined by how you answer questions like: How did I get here? Who am I? Why am I here?)
Read Psalm 119:160, Proverbs 30:5-6, John 14:6. Our worldview is affected by where we find Truth. Do you believe the Bible is Truth? If yes, do your actions and beliefs line up with Biblical Truth? If no, where do you look for answers? What keeps you from believing the Bible?
Progressive Christianity seeks to unhitch itself from a Bible worldview to have a “seat at the cool kids table” - to earn the applause of people who do not love or follow Jesus. Why is this so dangerous?
Read Romans 1. How have you seen this progression of people worshiping created things over the creator leading to God giving them over to their sinful ways? How have you fallen victim to this in your life?
Jesus was radically inclusive and radically exclusive. Anybody can come follow Jesus, but they must submit to Him as King and His Word as truth. Does Jesus have complete authority over your life? What areas have you yet to submit to him?
Biblical worldview: “To see the world the way Jesus sees the world and to love the world the way Jesus loves the world”. Which of these is more challenging for you? How can you grow in that?
Read 2 Timothy 4:2-5. What avenues do you have to preach the word (don’t think about this being limited to a stage)? How can you prepare to speak the Truth to those around you?
How to build a Biblical Worldview? Start by reading the book of John, then the other Gospels. See how Jesus interacts with people, what he says, and what he does. Then work towards understanding the grand narrative of the Bible but regularly come back to the life of Jesus in the Gospels. What is your next step in building a Biblical Worldview?
Once you build a Biblical Worldview you then start to live your life according to that worldview. Looking at your life through that lens, what needs to be filtered out? What needs to change? What needs to be added?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
RECOMMENDED RESOURCES
- Live Your Truth and Other Lies, Alisa Childers
- The Deconstruction of Christianity: What It Is, Why It’s Destructive, and How to Respond, Alisa Childers & Tim Barnett
- How to Read the Bible Book by Book, Gordon D. Fee & Douglas Stuart
- A Rebel's Manifesto: Choosing Truth, Real Justice, and Love amid the Noise of Today's World, Sean McDowell
NEXT STEPS
- Sign up for Men’s Retreat (October 18-20) at southland.church/men. The deadline is
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
The Holy Spirit is aware of what’s going on in our world. He can see things that we can’t. He knows us. He knows what we need. He partners with us to encourage us. He partners with us to challenge us and even convict us of sin. He partners with us because He knows best on how to use our lives to love and serve others.
This week on Locker Room, we are continuing a conversation with Scott and Gary on the Holy Spirit. If you missed last week’s episode, be sure to listen first and then jump in with us here.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Did you watch the Olympics this Summer? What was your favorite sport to watch? If you could participate in any event what would it be?
Read Acts 2:1-4. This empowering of the Holy Spirit gave the apostles the ability to lead the first church. If they needed the Spirit back then we certainly need it today.
Read 2 Corinthians 13:14. When you hear the word “fellowship” what comes to mind?
Gary defines three levels of fellowship with the Spirit: 1. Companionship. 2. Partnership. 3. Intimacy. Which of those three levels is the easiest to understand in your relationship with the Holy Spirit? Which is the most challenging?
Read Galatians 6:25. What’s the bigger struggle for you: lagging behind the Spirit or getting too far ahead of the Spirit? How can you find the right stride to walk in step with the Holy Spirit?
Essentials for walking in the Spirit: Obedience, humility, holiness. Where do you need to grow in those areas
Read Galatians 5:22-23. When you submit your life to the Holy Spirit He will produce this fruit in your life. Where in your life or someone you know have you seen the Holy Spirit bring transformation and produce fruit?
To bear fruit you must understand that it is a process and a struggle, but we must never give up! What part of yourself is the hardest for the Spirit to change? How can you commit to not giving up and letting God transform you?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
RECOMMENDED BOOKS
- Forgotten God, Francis Chan
- Spirit Rising, Jim Cymbala
- The Wonderful Spirit Filled Life, Charles Stanley
- Sensitivity to the Spirit, R.T. Kendall
- How to be Filled with the Holy Spirit, A.W. Tozer
NEXT STEPS
- Sign up for Men’s Retreat (October 18-20) at southland.church/men
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
When we accept the grace of Jesus and decide to follow him, God desires for us to turn from our own way of thinking and live Spirit-filled lives too. Yet many of us don’t. We meet Christians all the time whose lives could be summed up in two statements: One: “Nobody’s perfect. And two: “God understands.”
There’s almost a despair about those two statements. It seems that, for many, life is merely a long string of joy and sorrows, but with the hope of Heaven at the end.
Here’s the problem with that. If the Christian list is merely “doing our best,” then there’s no need for the Holy Spirit in the first place. So, all we have is OUR best, not GOD’S best for our lives. I don’t know about you, but my VERY, VERY best is still FAR from being like Jesus.
Join us this week as Scott and Gary Black begin a conversation about the power God provides IN us—the Holy Spirit.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
How would you rank the four fast food restaurants that Scott and Gary discussed at the beginning of the podcast: Chick fil a, Cane’s, Taco Bell, and McDonald’s?
Gary lists off a number of the names of the Holy Spirit found throughout Scripture: The Spirit of God, The Spirit of Christ, The Spirit of Truth, The Eternal Spirit, The Spirit of Glory, The Spirit of Life, The Spirit of Wisdom, The Spirit of Adoption, The Spirit of Promise, The Spirit of Holiness, The Spirit of Faith and our Comforter. Which of these names is the most intriguing to you and why?
When discussing who the Holy Spirit is, Gary points out the Holy Spirit is a person, not a “thing,” and that the Holy Spirit dwells in us and gives life to our bodies. How would your relationship with God change if you saw him as a real person?
Read John 16:7 & John 16:13. Jesus tells his disciples that it is better for him to leave than for him to stay with them. This is because when Jesus leaves, the Father will send the Holy Spirit to be their helper and their guide. When you think of the Holy Spirit being your “helper” or your “guide,” what comes to mind?
Read 1 Corinthians 6:19. We are a permanent residence with God. Where we go, the Holy Spirit goes with us. What we experience, the Holy Spirit experiences. When we see sin, the Holy Spirit sees sin. How does this motivate you to live a life of purity?
Read Romans 8:1-2 and 2 Timothy 1:7. The Holy Spirit has set you free! He gives you the boldness and confidence you need to live and lead like Jesus. What areas of your life can you boldly lead, knowing that the Holy Spirit is guiding you?
Scott said, “Men who love God are led by God.” Allowing the Holy Spirit to lead is a necessary element of following Jesus. What are some habits that you can start this week to better LISTEN for the Holy Spirit and to follow where he is leading you?
When you look back on your life, are there any ways you can now see that it was the Holy Spirit who was working in your life even when you couldn’t see or understand it?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
RECOMMENDED BOOKS
- Forgotten God, Francis Chan
- Spirit Rising, Jim Cymbala
- The Wonderful Spirit Filled Life, Charles Stanley
- Sensitivity to the Spirit, R.T. Kendall
- How to be Filled with the Holy Spirit, A.W. Tozer
NEXT STEPS
- Sign up for Men’s Retreat (October 18-20) at southland.church/men
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
We’re kicking off a new series in season 13 of Locker Room, and it’s simply called Power. We’re going to look at some key aspects and opportunities God gives us to usher His power into and through our lives.
This week we’re digging out the power of rest. Jesus invites us into a healthy rhythm, where we pour out our lives for the Kingdom: pouring into our home, our work and the world around us; and then we stop and rest. We connect with the King, and allow Him to fill us and replenish us.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Scott just spent a portion of his Summer on Sabbatical. What has been the longest period of time you’ve had to rest? What would you do if you had a month off of work to intentionally rest?
Is it easy for you to rest? Why or why not? What does it look like for you to rest in a healthy way?
“If you don’t know how to stop, life will do it to you.” Have you ever come to a breaking point where life forced you to stop?
What stuck out to you when Scott mentioned the symptoms of hurry sickness? (You treat everything like it’s a race. You can’t just do one task at a time. Hurry sickness creates highly irritable people. You always feel behind. You interrupt people. Obsessed with checking things off a list.)
Hurry makes us sick. The cure is Sabbath rest. Do you really believe this? Why or why not?
Read Genesis 2:1-3 & Exodus 20:8-10. What can we learn from these passages?
Do you take pride in breaking this commandment of God? Do you feel guilty when you keep this commandment? Why or why not?
Sabbath is really an act of faith. Do you trust God to do in 6 days what the world tries to do in 7? Do you trust God enough to Sabbath?
Read Mark 2:27. Sabbath was made as a gift for you. How can you best utilize this gift? What are some practical steps you can take towards a rhythm of weekly Sabbath in your life?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Sign up for Men’s Retreat (October 18-20) at southland.church/men
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
We’ve covered a lot of ground together this season on the podcast. This week Scott is joined by Ian Schweitzer to review and expand on some of the biggest subjects we’ve tackled this year.
We’ll also talk about an important event coming up in the fall specifically for men, 18 years of age and up, from any of our campuses—our first Men’s Retreat. October 18-20.
Locker Room will be back on August 30 for season thirteen. Have a great summer!
DISCUSSION GUIDE
What have been the episodes from this season that you learned from the most?
Who can you think of that you can send episodes to from this season?
Let us know, how are you using Locker Room? Email lockerroom@southland.church
Scott and Ian reviewed the whole season. Did you have an episode that you think every man needs to hear? If so, please share it with them!
NEXT STEPS
- If you’re wrestling with Christianity, would like to become a Christ-follower, or need help figuring out your next step, email us at lockerroom@southland.church.
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- Men’s Retreat October 18-20, sign up at this link https://southland.church/men
- Fight Club starting at Lexington Campus August 26th
- Season 13 of Locker Room will kickoff August 30th
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
In our world, sex before marriage is normal, hooking up is normal, funky sex is normal, and pornography is normal. Normal is: sex is casual and inclusive, not exclusive and monogamous. In college, having a “body count” is normal.
Normal is riddled with shame and regret. Normal is broken. Normal is living in guilt. Normal is unchecked and distorted desires that make us more like animals than God’s prized creation. Normal is struggling dating relationships. Normal is struggling marriages. Normal is divorced. Normal is habitual sexual sin and sexual addiction.
Let’s not be normal! Let’s stop being normal, like everybody else! God made you for love—don’t settle for lust. The gospel is about freedom in Christ—don't settle for crippling addition.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” — Romans 12:2(NIV)
Join us this week on Locker Room as we talk about a subject that is eating men’s lunch: pornography.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Scott shared a lot of startling statistics about pornography. Which stood out to you? What do these statistics reveal about our culture as a whole?
“And it’s not just the people in the world—it’s people in the church.” What do the stats about Christians using pornography reveal about the church as a whole?
“Sin will take us farther than we ever wanted to go, keep us longer than we ever wanted to stay, and cost us more than we thought it would cost us.” How have you seen this statement prove true in your life experience?
Read James 1:13-15. The Enemy is real and you will be tempted. How have you effectively fought temptation? Where do you need help?
Read Galatians 6:7-8. What are you currently “sowing” (planting) in your life? How have you seen that produce what you “reap” in your life?
Read 1 Corinthians 10:12-13. We have to leverage God’s promise of strength in the face of temptation. Do you really believe he will provide a way out of temptation? What tools does God give us to escape? What is your “why” for fighting temptation?
Read John 14:13. We have to leverage the power of prayer and the Holy Spirit’s activity in our lives. Have you been baptized and received the Holy Spirit? If not, that is your first step in fighting temptation. If yes, how can you practically utilize prayer and the Spirit to fight temptation?
Read Romans 6:1-7, 11-18. If we want to quit porn and fight for purity, we have to understand our new position in Christ. If you are a Jesus follower you are no longer a slave to sin. Do you believe that? How can you believe that truth?
Read 1 John 1:8-9. If we want to quit porn and fight for purity, we have to confess our sin and not conceal it. Is there sin that you have not confessed to a fellow believer? Why are you holding onto it? Who can you tell? How can this group help?
If we want to quit porn and fight for purity, we have to hate sin! What steps can you take to truly fight this sin? Do you need to sign up for Covenant Eyes or something like it?
Be honest and answer, “Left unchecked, what could your sexual sin cost you?” Based on your answer what do you need to do NOW?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Sign up for accountability with covenanteyes.com
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
If you are a parent and have kids in your home, you are passing on something to them. Whether you’ve been intentional or not, well-meaning or not, you are building a legacy. The question is, will that legacy you are giving them be good, healthy and eternal? Or is it something else?
John Sampson joins Scott on the podcast this week to talk about leaving a legacy for our kids of loving God and others, and preparing them for life as an independent adult.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
We started off with some fun in the podcast, which of the Chuck Norris lines did you like the most?
The role of parents is, “teaching and training our kids to love God, love people, and leave home.” After hearing that, does it change your view on what it means to be a parent?
A couple of acknowledgments have been made. 1. Parenting is the hardest job on the planet. 2. There are no perfect parents, no perfect children, and no perfect families. Does that reminder release any stress you have about either being a parent or potentially being a parent one day?
Part 1: Teach and train our kids to love God. Read Ephesians 6:1-4. What sticks out to you about that piece of scripture? What should be implemented into your role as a dad to help your kids grow in their love for God?
Part 2: Teach and train our kids to love people. Read Mark 12:30-31. With that verse and many others mentioned about how important it is to love others, what sticks out to you about that piece of scripture?
Scott and John talked about how important it is that parents know their kids' friends’. Also, about how important it is to know where those friends are in their “circles” of friendship. What are the best practices you’ve seen in this happening? What are the bad practices of this?
Part 3: Teach and train our kids to leave home. Scott talks through two critical actions: 1. Reinforce through training. 2. Cut ropes to prepare them for independence.
What are the hardest parts of helping your children become prepared to leave home?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- If you’re wrestling with Christianity, would like to become a Christ-follower, or need help figuring out your next step, email us at lockerroom@southland.church.
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
Phones, technology and social media are simply tools for communication. The effects of using a tool depend on the purpose for which it is used, but the tool itself is neutral in origin. It’s similar to having a hammer. You can build something with a hammer. You can also destroy something or hurt someone. The tools are not the problem. How something is used is the problem. The same is true with social media and smartphones.
In this episode we’ll discuss how to use technology appropriately and navigating when and how to introduce technology safely into the lives of your kids.
Our guest on the podcast this week is Scott Harvey. Scott has 20 years of experience in law enforcement, specializing in hostage negotiations and communication. He is also a husband and girl dad, and author of the book, Silence Kills: Communication Tactics to Speak with Confidence and Build Your Influence.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
What was the first cell phone you owned? What year did you get it? What did you primarily use it for?
Which tool (literally or figuratively) do you find most valuable? What makes it so important to you?
Technology like a smartphone is a tool that can be used for good or bad. How has having a smartphone been good for you? How has it been bad?
Scott mentioned two points for determining when your child should get a smartphone: 1) Point of need. 2) Point of responsibility. What are good things to consider when making this decision? Did your parents utilize similar rules when giving you responsibility like this?
It can be easy to default to buying the newest, nicest thing. What are some healthy questions to ask yourself before you add any new technology (newest phone, VR, Gaming system, etc.) to your life?
In what ways have you used social media? What apps do you currently use? What do you enjoy about the apps you use? What issues have come about from social media?
Scott mentioned how we handle our kids’ minor screw-ups will affect how they approach major mess-ups. How do you react when your child disobeys? How can you start healthy lines of conversation now so that they can come to you in times of need?
What boundaries, time limits, etc. are healthy to set for your children’s phones? What about for your phone?
The episode discussed the dangers of pornography, sexting, and sextortion. What do we do with the information? How do we communicate this well to our kids? How do we provide space for confession when our kids make these errors?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
Parents work really hard to be intentional when their kids are young. In those early years we teach them so much: how to walk, talk, eat, have manners, to say they're sorry, to learn to play with others, to be grateful…all these things.
But the decisions our teenagers make in middle and high school have bigger consequences. The stakes are higher; the fallout greater. The decisions they make in these seven years set up their lives in college or young adulthood, and in turn can set the tone for the next forty years of their lives. So we want to do our best to take advantage of these seven years in middle and high school.
In today’s episode of Locker Room, we circle up with members of Southland’s Student Ministry: Connor Hall, Casey Whitehead and Peter Sohn to talk about some of the unique challenges facing our teens as they navigate our current culture.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
What were you like in your teenage years?
“Parents are primary, student ministry is secondary.” What encourages you about the partnership between you as a parent and the church’s role in ministry to your son or daughter?
This age range is where so much happens in a students’ life. How do you think you’ll react or how did you react to your son or daughter being in that age range?
Scott and the student team went through “dysphoria” specifically “gender dysphoria” and “transgender” and the definitions of those. Obviously a lot is going on in terminology for teenagers today but also for everyone. What has helped you as a Christian man to combat these topics?
There’s a lot of truth from the bible about what God says about who we are and what God says about life and who we are made to be. What can you do practically to share this with your teenager?
Scott and the student team talked about sex, dating, and marriage and how important it is to “not be late to the game.” How can you encourage a friend or yourself to do this before it’s too late to speak biblical truth?
Asking good questions was mentioned. What does it look like to really take intentional time to ask the right questions to your teenager?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- Go to southland.church/volunteer to sign up to volunteer in student ministry
- Resources
- Parenting by Paul David Tripp
- Irreversible Damage: The Transgendered Craze Seducing Our Daughters, by Abigail Shrier
- Holy Sexuality and the Gospel: Sex, Desire, and Relationships Shaped by God’s Grand Story, by Christopher Yuan.
- Out of a Far Country: A Gay Son’s Journey to God. A Broken Mother’s Search for Hope. By Christopher Yuan & Angela Yuan.
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Gay Girl, Good God, by Jackie Hill Perry.
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For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
This week on Locker Room we’re kicking off a four-part series on parenting.
In this first episode we are looking at raising littles: from babies up through elementary. If you’re a dad or a parent with little kids—you will find encouragement in our conversation today.
Next week we'll talk about raising teenagers (middle and high school) and we’ll navigate some really relevant topics that are on the forefront of culture right now.
In week 3, we’ll look at navigating parenting with smartphones and social media in a digital world.
Week 4, we’ll talk about raising girls.
Our guests around the table today are from our Southland Children’s team: Jason Byerly, Kelsi Collins, and Krista McCoy Tudor. Join us as we dive into the wild ride that is parenting littles!
Southland also has a Parenting Podcast that you can find at southland.church/podcasts or anywhere that you get your podcasts. Scott Nickell is leading that effort—it’s a great podcast that’s really encouraging for parents. You should check it out!
DISCUSSION GUIDE
What’s the funniest story from your childhood or one of your kids? What were you like as a child?
What is a phrase you say over and over again? Whether to your kids or just in life.
Two truths were addressed at the beginning of the podcast: Parenting is the hardest job on the planet. There are no perfect parents, perfect children, or perfect families. Have you always believed this? Do you ever feel like you don’t measure up because you compare yourself to other “perfect” people/families?
Have you ever volunteered to work with kids at church or other areas? Why is it valuable to have men who invest in the next generation?
Our nursery and preschool focus is there is a God who made you and loves you. Our elementary focus is Biblical literacy, apologetics, & spiritual practices. How does that compare to what you understood about God growing up? Why are these important foundations for our kids to learn?
Read Deuteronomy 6:5-9. It’s the primary role of a parent to invest in the spiritual lives of their children. If you are a parent, how do you live out this passage? Is there anything you need to start doing and stop doing? If you are not a parent, how can you serve families who are trying to live out this commandment?
How were you disciplined as a child? How do you discipline as a parent? What was valuable from the podcast about discipline?
In what ways did you learn responsibility growing up? What is something you can do to help the next generation learn how to do hard things and build resilience?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
The Bible describes David as “A man after God’s own heart”, yet his life got sideways and there was a season where David lived a double life.
David wasn’t the only person on the planet that has lived a hypocritical double life as a child of God. No doubt there are some of us that are currently living a double life. We may be compartmentalizing our own sin and trying to manage our own darkness while projecting a different image towards others.
Our guest Alan Chan joins the podcast this week to talk about the process of overcoming past shame and embracing the transformation of walking a new path with Christ.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
If you could put together the perfect fast food meal what would it be? (Ex. Entree - Chick-fil-A chicken Sandwich, Side - Arby’s curly fries, Drink - McDonald’s diet coke, dessert - Cookout Milkshake)
What was your first full-time job? How did you connect with the other employees?
An invite to volleyball and Thursday night dinner connected Alan to the church. Who helped you connect to the church? Is there anyone you could invite to a church-related group or event?
Alan talks about how he lived a double life for a season. He went to church events but still partied throughout the week. Has there been a season where you have lived a double life? Are you living one now?
What effect does living a double life have on you? What effect does it have on people around you?
Read John 10:10. What areas of life are you letting the accuser steal from you? How can you step into the full life Jesus wants you to have?
Have you ever been confronted by a Christian brother on sin in your life? How did they handle it? How did you respond?
Read Psalm 32:1-5. What does this passage teach us about God’s grace and how he wants us to be honest with our sin?
Alan talked about rededicating his life, getting baptized, & being transformed by Jesus. Share about your baptism and how God has transformed you from your old life.
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
At some point in our lives, we all have to do battle with hard things.
We’re back this week with Chris, Edgar, and Matt to share more of their stories. We’ll share stories of navigating the pain of divorce, choosing to partner with God on mission in your daily work, and the experience of walking through faith with a family member in the last steps of life.
If you missed last week’s episode, be sure to check it out first and come back here for part 2.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
What can we as men learn from Chris as he shared how he walked through divorce and healing from that?
Chris talked about how hard divorce was and how the enemy attacked him. How can men rally around other men going through this?
He talked also about how he was prepared for the hard moments going into dating and marriage again. What can we learn from that preparation even in the hardest things?
Chris mentioned his non-negotiables. These are super specific and deep. What challenged you about that list?
“Men, we are not our vocations.” How have you struggled with knowing that what you do for a job isn’t fully who you are as a man?
Southland has a strategy that we would be a church that encourages people to be “with Jesus, in community, on mission.” Edgar has the opportunity to do this in his work as a realtor. What encourages you to share Jesus even at your workplace?
There were stories shared about opportunities Edgar had to share the gospel and deepening relationships with people and families. How can you become more bold to share God with people you get an opportunity to work with?
Matt shared the gospel with his brother Mike. He was bold in faith to share with his brother Mike. What did you learn about how to be bold, even with family, for sharing the good news of what God has done for us with someone?
Our role as Christ-followers is to share our faith with others. What steps do you need to take to share the the good news of the gospel with someone? Maybe a friend, family member, co-worker, or is it a stranger?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
/ Revised version with complete episode /
Each of us has a story to tell from the battles we have faced in our life. This week on the podcast, Scott sits down with three guests to share from their experiences.
Chris, Edgar and Matt share their stories: fighting legalism and its ability to trip us up in our faith, stepping up as a new believer to become the spiritual leader of our home, and making a radical change of heart to quit taking grace for granted and start chasing after the things God has for us to do.
-- A quick apology to our listeners: we misfired this week and released this episode incompletely. This release is an updated version with the full content!
DISCUSSION GUIDE
What is the worst injury you’ve ever had?
Where have you served/volunteered in the church? Where have you served/volunteered outside of the church
The men discussed the impact Fight Club has made on their lives. What group or team has made the biggest impact in your life?
The lie of legalism uses this equation: Salvation = Jesus + the good things I do. Why is this so dangerous? When it comes to your faith, what do you put your pride in besides Jesus?
Read Galatians 2:19-21. Legalism distorts the truth of the gospel. Speak to the impact of that passage and how it should crush our legalism.
Men have been called to lead their wives and families. What men have you seen do this well? What does it look like to lead your family well?
In what areas of your life do you lead? Are you leading in the way Jesus did? For the married men, are you the spiritual leader of your marriage? What steps do you need to take to do this better?
Have you ever been a “spiritually bankrupt grace abuser”? How have you compartmentalized your faith and okayed sinful behavior in other areas of your life?
Have you ever been “punched in the mouth by the Holy Spirit”? How has God radically transformed your life? Are you hungry to change and chase after God? What does that look like for you?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
Each of us has a story to tell from the battles we have faced in our life. This week on the podcast, Scott sits down with three guests to share from their experiences.
Chris, Edgar and Matt share their stories: fighting legalism and its ability to trip us up in our faith, stepping up as a new believer to become the spiritual leader of our home, and making a radical change of heart to quit taking grace for granted and start chasing after the things God has for us to do.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
What is the worst injury you’ve ever had?
Where have you served/volunteered in the church? Where have you served/volunteered outside of the church
The men discussed the impact Fight Club has made on their lives. What group or team has made the biggest impact in your life?
The lie of legalism uses this equation: Salvation = Jesus + the good things I do. Why is this so dangerous? When it comes to your faith, what do you put your pride in besides Jesus?
Read Galatians 2:19-21. Legalism distorts the truth of the gospel. Speak to the impact of that passage and how it should crush our legalism.
Men have been called to lead their wives and families. What men have you seen do this well? What does it look like to lead your family well?
In what areas of your life do you lead? Are you leading in the way Jesus did? For the married men, are you the spiritual leader of your marriage? What steps do you need to take to do this better?
Have you ever been a “spiritually bankrupt grace abuser”? How have you compartmentalized your faith and okayed sinful behavior in other areas of your life?
Have you ever been “punched in the mouth by the Holy Spirit”? How has God radically transformed your life? Are you hungry to change and chase after God? What does that look like for you?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
The wounds we receive from our parents send a message. This message is almost always a lie.
When we believe that lie, it drives a channel that confuses who we are, how we communicate and how we operate as men. The effects of these wounds include low self-esteem, a deep longing, deep emotional pain inside and a performance-orientation that makes us “doers” rather than “beings.”
This week on the podcast we are diving back in with our second episode in a series called Southland Men. Our guest this week, Jordan Moody joins in for a conversation about growing up in a broken home and how God can redeem the past and give us a new path to walk, going forward.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Jordan and Scott mentioned their family to all of us. Share about your family with your group.
Scott helped us understand that “wounds create trauma.” What are things we can do as men to help care for our wounds or our friends' wounds?
Scott also talked about how wounds from family create 2 types of trauma. 1) The absence of good things that we need. 2) The presence of bad things that should have never happened. This trauma has a big impact on those affected. How can we help stop this from happening to future generations?
Read Romans 8:35-37. How can that kind of faith and belief encourage people to be “more than conquerors through Him who loved us?”
Scott brought up that he and Jordan texted about doing this podcast episode. This brought up a lie from the enemy about not deserving to have a seat at the table. Spend time praying against this mindset. How can we encourage men to look past this lie and share our testimonies?
This quote was mentioned multiple times, “You’re not responsible for what happened to you – you’re responsible for what you do with it.” As you take a second to think about that, what does that mean for you in your life?
“Boundaries are like good fences.” What are some good fences that you need to build in your life?
There was a specific callout to dads and how father wounds become inflicted on our kids. Spend a few minutes praying over father wounds in general for men. How has this affected you as either the son or the father? Remember Matthew 19:26 as you discuss.
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
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Spend time as a group praying over the Prevett family.
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If you’re wrestling with Christianity, would like to become a Christ-follower, or need help figuring out what’s next, email lockerroom@southland.church.
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Join a Group at southland.church/groups
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For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
This week on Locker Room we’re pressing pause in our Southland Men series for a bonus episode to make you aware of a great resource for men and families.
Dave Stone, former Senior Pastor at Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky joins us on the podcast today to talk about a special story from the heart of their church family.
NEXT STEPS
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Join a Group at southland.church/groups
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Get tickets or find out more at ordinaryangels.movie
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For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
This week on Locker Room we are kicking off a new series of episodes and we’re calling it Southland Men.
Each week we will be hearing the stories of men in our church that are in the battle, recovering ground, and walking a new path. These guys are taking courageous steps, fighting both for their own lives and the lives of their families. These men are making their lives count.
Up first this week is a conversation with Addison Hughes, talking about three obstacles that many of us have struggled with in our own lives: perfectionism, idolatry, and fear.
DISCUSSION GUIDE:
Have you ever wiped out on the ski slopes or somewhere else? How’d it happen?
What group or team has made the biggest impact in your life? Why was it so valuable?
Perfectionism - Do you err on the side of perfectionism or carelessness? Why do you think that is? If you wrestle with perfectionism, what type is it? Self-oriented, expectation-driven, or others-oriented?
Idolatry - What things, good or bad, have been idols in your life? Which of these things have you been able to put in the right place in your life? What are idols you still struggle with placing in front of God?
Fear - What are some of the biggest fears in your life? Do you tend to catastrophize (fixate on the worst possible outcome)?
Read Genesis 1:26-27 & John 1:12-13. What do these passages say about our identity? Is it hard for you to accept this identity?
Read John 19:30 & Colossians 2:13-14. The Cross is Enough. Why do you think men tend to act like that isn’t true? How do you try to earn what Jesus has already given you?
Read Matthew 11:28-30. What does it look like to go to Jesus in times of fear, anxiety or exhaustion? How has Jesus given you rest? What does his “yoke” look like from your experience?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
We're back this week for the second part of a conversation on six core values for living as a godly man with our guests Daniel Mercer and Ian Schweitzer.
In today's episode we'll hit values 3-6 and see how applying them in our lives will reinforce our identity, drive our decisions, move us towards intentionality and bless those people in our lives.
If you missed part one, be sure to check it out!
DISCUSSION GUIDE:
What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
The guys told us their “father of the year” stories, what’s yours? If you’re not a father, what is something you've seen other fathers do that can be in the “father of the year” list?
The third “H” is for “honesty.” In what ways have you seen the importance of honesty in your life?
What are you doing to fight for your integrity?
The fourth “H” is for “humility.” What makes it hard for men to show humility well?
Why is pride so dangerous for men? What are you doing to crush pride and pursue humility?
The fifth “H” is for “hungry.” Are you actually hungry for God and what he’s doing in you and your community's life? The guys talked about how they’re “hungry” in their lives, do you see any similarities in your life?
What are you doing to stay hungry? What is an area in your life that God is wanting you to grow in?
The sixth and final “H” is for “healthy.” Our physical health is important, but so is our spiritual health. What did you learn from the guys about spiritual health?
What steps do you need to take as you pursue being healthy spiritually, emotionally, relationally, and physically?
After learning all 6 H’s is there one that you want to work on this week specifically?
What else from this episode did you learn or grow in?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
Next Steps
- Check out the Core 52 book by Mark Moore. Learn more here: https://core52.org/
- Check out Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster
- The guys talked about Her Knight Father/Daughter dance, check out the website for more details https://herknightdance.org/
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
This week we’re wrapping up our Ethos of Godly Men series on Locker Room with the first of a two-part roundtable discussion on six characteristics that are mission-critical in building the culture of godly men.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
What is your worst haircut story?
Looking back at your past outfits in life, what clothing choice do you regret the most?
What is your biggest pet peeve?
The first “H” is “Holy.” As said in the episode the words “holy” and “holiness” are used over 900 times in the bible. Why do you think it’s used that many times in scripture?
The Hebrew word for “Holy” is “Kodesh” and that means “separate” or “set apart.” Does learning that meaning change your definition of what Holy means?
What do you need to do to pursue Holiness?
The second “H” is “Harmony.” In music, harmony is so noticeable when it goes wrong but is so great when it’s done well. Do you think it’s the same way in everyday life or in community?
Where in your life do you need to seek harmony?
What else from this episode did you learn or grow in?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
Next Steps
- Check out the Core 52 book by Mark Moore. Learn more here: https://core52.org/
- Check out Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster
- The guys talked about Her Knight Father/Daughter dance, check out the website for more details https://herknightdance.org/
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- Join Fight Club in Georgetown https://southlandchristian.churchcenter.com/groups/georgetown-campus-groups/fight-club
- Learn more about being a Marriage Mentor - email Shatfield@southland.church
- Check out the Parenting Podcast and more at southland.church/podcasts
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
Tell Me More Takes Over Locker Room
This week on the podcast, we’re joined by Jessica McKenney, Sarah Hopkins and Lydia Florence—the three hosts of our women’s podcast, Tell Me More—to talk about the Ethos of Godly Men from their perspective.
We’ll discuss the influence of men and fathers in women’s lives, and the picture of a man’s identity in Jesus. We’ll also take a look at some of the patterns they are seeing in men in today’s culture and provide encouragement to men who are in the fight, following Jesus on mission.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
What women have made the biggest impact in your life? How have they shaped who you are today?
The Tell Me More crew mentioned they have time for Hot Takes in their podcast. What’s a hot take you have (an opinion that may not be popular)?
We have a man problem in our world. The brokenness in our world primarily comes from an absent man or a broken man. How have you seen this be true in your life? Where have you contributed to this brokenness?
The women talked about their relationship with their fathers. What was your relationship with your Dad growing up? How has that affected who you’ve become?
Often women have to carry the spiritual weight of families and churches. Why do you think men tend towards passivity when it comes to faith? What is a practical step of leadership you can take to engage in your faith, your family, the church, etc?
Have you been sold a bad picture of Jesus? A Jesus who is too weak, small, irrelevant, etc. Who is Jesus to you?
Jesus elevated women in a culture that treated them terribly. Do you value and live women the same way Jesus did? How does that show in your actions? What needs to change about how you treat and speak to/about women?
Read Mark 1:9-11. God the Father affirms Jesus as his Beloved Son and Jesus lived out of that identity. Where do you find your identity? Did you know that if you follow Jesus God calls you His beloved son, too? What practical steps can you take towards living out of that identity, God’s beloved son?
Jesus was emotionally healthy. Meaning he laughed, cried, got angered, etc. All in healthy ways though. Are you more naturally unemotional or overly emotional? How can you grow in your emotional health?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
- Check out the Tell Me More Podcast and recommend it to a woman in your life at southland.church/podcasts
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
“The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us.” John 1:14(NIV)
In God's Word we have the blueprint for what it means to be a Godly man in our Leader and King, Jesus. When we read the gospels, we’re not just looking at what Jesus says and the things He did. We want to look at how Jesus handles hard times and difficult people.
In this episode we’ll look at how Jesus responds, what He does, how He uses His words and how He treats those who love Him and those that hate Him. We want to challenge you to pay attention to the rhythms that Jesus creates: being with His Father, and then living His life on mission with passion and purpose.
DISCUSSION GUIDE:
Have you ever trained for a race or event? What was that process like?
Add on to what the Scotts’ favorites were in this episode. What’s your favorite movie? What was your first concert? What’s your favorite kind of music? Who’s your favorite athlete?
In a world where men are expected to shove emotions down, what does it look like to ask the question “am I enough?” to God? Where do you need to stop seeking that validation?
Action 1: Be consumed with the gospel and remind yourself of your rescue story. What does it mean to be “consumed” with the gospel? How do you make sure you do this?
Action 2: Put away childhood and childish ways. How are you going to do this in your own life? Read 1 Corinthians 13:11, what does this motivate you to do in your own life?
Action 3: Seek wisdom and the gift of wise people. Read Proverbs 13:20, Who can you reach out to for wisdom? What about them makes you want to reach out to them?
Action 4: Move towards the mess and do hard things. This seems opposite from what culture would tell us. What “hard things” do you need to move towards?
These 4 actions aren’t something that can be 100% changed overnight. What are you going to do to keep fighting to do these things?
What else from this episode did you learn or grow in?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
Next Steps
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- Join Fight Club in Georgetown https://southlandchristian.churchcenter.com/groups/georgetown-campus-groups/fight-club
- Learn more about being a Marriage Mentor - email Shatfield@southland.church
- Check out the Parenting Podcast and more at southland.church/podcasts
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
“If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first.” — Jesus; John 15:18(NLT)
If you are insulted because you bear the name of Christ, you will be blessed, for the glorious Spirit of God rests upon you. — 1 Peter 4:14(NLT)
Scott Nickell joins us this week on the podcast for an extended conversation on one of the biggest challenges we face today as followers of Jesus: how do we navigate in the rough waters of a culture and nation that is increasingly and actively resistant to us and our faith?
DISCUSSION GUIDE
What’s the craziest experience you’ve had as an away team player/fan?
What makes being in an environment away from home so difficult? Do you think you would handle it well?
Arguably the most controversial verse in the bible to say in today’s culture is John 14:6 where Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” How does this statement help us as Christ followers in conversations with others?
Scott Nickell said, “If we are going to be hated, let it be for the right reasons, not for being big jerks.” Discuss how that can be implemented in your life. Are there any reasons people would hate you outside of your relationship with Jesus?
Where have you seen religious legalism combated? Why do we tend to see our relationship with God as works-based?
What are the big dominos you’ve seen fall in the lives of religious progressives?
Read 2 Timothy 3:1-7. Discuss how you can fight from the “terrible times”. What does it look like in your life?
Scott quoted the book Post Christian, “the great challenge today isn’t to convince people that there’s a god. The great challenge is to convince people, there’s one God.” Do you agree with this in relation to false religions? Why or why not?
Oftentimes we give politicians and governments too much credit for how they rule our lives. How can we remember John 14:6 in corrupt governments?
What else from this episode did you learn or grow in?
What did God/the Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
Next Steps
- Watch Scott’s sermon on How To Be Hated in 3 Simple Steps at https://southland.church/messages/how-to-be-hated-in-3-simple-steps
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- Join Fight Club in Georgetown https://southlandchristian.churchcenter.com/groups/georgetown-campus-groups/fight-club
- Learn more about being a Marriage Mentor - email Shatfield@southland.church
- Check out the Parenting Podcast and more at southland.church/podcasts
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
Developing a healthy, intentional ethos (culture and characteristics) as a Godly man is critical. It’s about building disciplines that drive us to deeper places, move us closer to Jesus, and infuse purpose back into our lives.
On today's episode we will dive into 3 things that should be non-negotiables for us as men.
DISCUSSION GUIDE :
Are you a person who sets goals/resolutions? What goals have you set for yourself recently? How has it been going for you? Share a funny story of when you gave up on a goal way too quickly.
Challenge 1: Pursue Jesus Daily - What does it look like for you to follow Jesus on a day-to-day basis?
Does reading come naturally to you? How often are you actually in God’s Word? Would you like your time reading the Bible to look different? How so?
Read 2 Timothy 3:16-17 & Hebrews 12:4. Based on these scriptures, why is it so valuable to be reading the Bible? If you don’t have a daily Bible reading rhythm make one now. Take a few minutes now to discuss a plan to read daily and together. Then make a plan to keep each other accountable.
Challenge 2: Exercise Consistently - Read Mark 12:30, 1 Corinthians 9:26-27, and 1 Timothy 4:8. Men can fall into two extremes when it comes to physical health: they either ignore it or worship it. Which camp do you tend to fall in? Do you value training and diet in the right way?
Read 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. The way we treat our bodies reflects how we feel about God. Can you honestly say you honor God with your body based on how you exercise and eat? What do you need to start doing (today, tomorrow, or next week) to honor God with your body?
Challenge 3: Live in Community with other Godly men. If you’re answering these questions, you are likely already doing this. What has Biblical community looked like for you over the years? How have you benefited from doing life with other men?
Read Proverbs 27:17 & Proverbs 13:20. Who is sharpening you to look more like Christ? Who in your life leads you to foolish harm? What changes do you need to make to the men you surround yourself with?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What’s God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
Next Steps
- Join a Group at southland.church/groups
- Join Fight Club in Georgetown
- Learn more about being a Marriage Mentor - email Shatfield@southland.church
- Check out the Parenting Podcast and more at southland.church/podcasts
- For any other questions or comments email lockerroom@southland.church
There isn't a tougher job on the planet than parenting! At the same time, there are a ton of voices speaking into how to do it.
We are releasing a new podcast for parents that focuses first on the heart of the parent because at the end of the day, you can't give what you don't have. We want so many things for our kids, but often what matters most when it comes to our parenting is the condition of our own hearts. That's what our new podcast is all about.
This first episode is published here on the Locker Room podcast feed. To subscribe to future episodes, find, "Parenting - a Southland.Church podcast" on your favorite podcast platform, or listen on our website at https://southland.church/podcasts
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Episode 1: Parenting Begins in Our Hearts
The most influential thing on the hearts of our children—for good or for bad—is the state of our own hearts and what comes out of us.
We have all been influenced by our own individual experiences growing up. Some of us only had one parent around. Some of us didn’t have a strong faith component in our lives growing up—no map to guide us on what to do. Some of us may have grown up in a family where faith was a key part of daily life, but maybe we never had that personal relationship with the Father.
Our hosts for this podcast have been in some of those places, and we’ll discuss how getting our own hearts right with God is the first and most important step we can take as parents.
If you are a Christian, you are playing an away game. There was a day when the church was a predominant influence in culture. Not anymore. In the U.S. the church has lost influence in our communities and been pushed out to the margins, and Christ-followers are no longer warmly met, but now face vitriol and resistance.
But this is nothing new. In this episode of Locker Room Scott and returning guest Kevin Comp sit down to look back into history to a time when a group of young men who followed the Lord were faced with an ultimate test of faith versus a culture that wanted nothing to do with God. Discussion Guide:
- Which option would you pick between truth or dare? Why?
- Describe a time when you saw someone do something courageous. Where did their strength come from? What effect did their courage have on you?
- Read Daniel 1:1-21. The first chapter of the book of Daniel provides context for the type of character and courage Daniel, Hananiah (Shadrach), Mishael (Meshach), and Azariah (Abednego) possessed. What specific attributes or actions of these four men stand out to you? Why?
- Read Daniel 2:46-49. The second chapter could be summarized in three acts: Nebuchadnezzar’s dream, Daniel’s interpretation, and Nebuchadnezzar’s response. What’s significant about Nebuchadnezzar’s response to Daniel’s interpretation of his dream? How should we have expected him to respond?
- Read Daniel 3:1-7. Pride is a dangerous form of self-deception, and it’s abundantly clear with Nebuchadnezzar. What areas in your life do you intentionally or unintentionally try to sit on God’s throne? How has He revealed this to you? What’s typically your response when He does?
- Read Daniel 3:8-18 and 2 Timothy 1:7. “Even if” is arguably one of the most important qualifiers as it pertains to our walk with God. When was the last time you experienced conflict because of your faith? How did you handle the situation? What did you learn from it?
- Read Daniel 3:19-23 and 1 Corinthians 16:13. When are you the most tempted to compromise on your faith? How can you practically guard against this temptation?
- Read Daniel 3:24-30 and Isaiah 42:2-3. Why is it so easy for us to forget that God is with us? What are some of the ways we can remind ourselves of His presence, especially when our circumstances seem dire?
- Read John 15:18-21. Pastor Tony Evans once said, “A ship belongs in the water, but the water doesn’t belong in the ship. We are to be in the world, but the world should not be in us.” What does it mean to be a counter-cultural Christian in our current cultural climate?
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Listen to each of the following songs this week and meditate on Scott’s question: What are you afraid of?
- “Another in the Fire” by Hillsong Worship
- “Even If” by MercyMe
- “Christ Be Magnified” by Cody Carnes
Eradicate Passivity
The definition of passivity is an acceptance of what happens, without active response or resistance. Passivity is apathy, indifference, numbness and resignation. It’s like an ostrich who buries its head in the ground.
Nothing brings hell to earth faster than passive, whiny men who blame everyone and everything for their lack of responsibility.
Passivity harms a man’s relationship with God and it makes his family vulnerable because he is unwilling to engage in the most important things. In this episode of Locker Room we are going to dig into what can become a huge obstacle for men.
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Discussion Guide
The best stories often involve a hero who faces conflict and takes action to overcome it. Who are some of your favorite heroes (in movies/stories, or real life). What about them makes them admirable?
When we are passive, we are still making a choice—a choice to do nothing about a situation. We all have had times in life where we can look back and see that taking action could have led to a different result. Think back on a time in your life when taking action would have been the right call. What did the lack of action cost you?
Read Genesis 3:1-8. At the beginning of history, Adam—the very first man—stands passively by as Eve eats from the tree that God forbid; and then goes along with the crowd by eating it himself. When God asks what they have done, they both pass the blame—Adam blames Eve and Eve blames the serpent. The impulse to be passive, when action is needed to restrain sin, can entangle us deeply in sin.
Read Romans 5:12-20. Notice how sin entered the world through one man’s passivity (Adam), and how sin was atoned for the whole world through Jesus taking responsibility. (It wasn’t his problem, but he made it his responsibility).
Passivity and responsibility are opposed to each other. One says, “It’s not my fault, it’s not my problem—there’s nothing I can do about it.” The other says, “It may not be my fault, it may not be my problem, but I can do something about it.” How can we shift our attitude in life from being passive to being someone who takes responsibility?
Scott talked about the big beautiful house across from the dairy farm, and how whoever lived there must have gotten to the point where they didn’t notice the stench anymore—but that doesn’t mean the stench was gone—they just became oblivious to it. What are some things in life that you’ve ignored for too long, to the point where you don’t even notice them anymore?
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It could be something in your home that you forgot to put away, and now it’s been there for months. You see it every time you enter the room, but you’ll get to it…
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It could be a maintenance need on your vehicle that started off as a nuisance but now has become a real problem that is affecting your ability to get to work or participate in activities with friends and family.
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It could be being passive about your personal finances and you need to buckle down and make good choices now so that you can escape debt and get financial freedom in the future.
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It could be your physical health—maybe you used to be active, but life has just been so busy that you have neglected your body. Passivity in our health can bleed over into so many areas.
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Sometimes our passivity can stem from a feeling of being overwhelmed. One small step in the right direction could lead us to success in multiple areas once we see some results. What is one step you could take in each of the areas mentioned above?
Have you become passive about your walk with God? Do you find yourself checking in at church on Sundays and waiting to be fed, then going about your week all on your own strength? Look at your calendar and put in one intentional time this week to have a conversation with God and read some of His Word. Even if it is just fifteen minutes, take the first step.
Have you become passive in your friendships? Do you spend most of your time thinking about your own needs and not investing in others? If a close friend had a crisis, would you be someone they could call? What can we change about our friendships to build into others? How can we be better listeners?
Are you struggling with being passive in your marriage? Do you focus on your work so much that you don’t have anything left in the tank for your spouse? Jobs may come and go. We have to prioritize our marriage relationships. Find some time this week when you were planning to do something for yourself or work that you can instead build into your relationship with your wife. Surprise her by taking responsibility.
Have you become passive with your kids? Our children are our responsibility for sure. If we neglect this area, there is no shortage of other things that will influence them. If we don’t maintain a relationship with our kids, they are not going to feel comfortable coming to us when problems arise. What is one step you can take this week to improve your relationship with your children? Consider carving out some time this week to spend with each child. Be slow to speak and eager to listen.
Our guest on this episode of Locker Room is Kevin Wirfel. Kevin and his wife Cheryl lost their son Nathan to suicide on April 9, 2021. In this conversation, Kevin shares about the profound grief they walked through as a family wrestling with this devastating loss. Kevin talks about struggles and warning signs in Nathan’s life; things we should be watching for as parents, and in the lives of our loved ones.
Nearly every person that you lock eyes with has someone they care about who has either contemplated or attempted suicide, or knows someone who has taken their own life. People we come in contact with every day may be struggling themselves too. Even you who are reading this may feel trapped or hopeless too. We all need to know there is no shame in getting help and we don’t have to live on an island. Our enemy wants us to feel like we are all alone and have no hope. Don’t believe it. All we have to do is just take a step.
The Suicide & Crisis hotline: 988. It’s a 24-hour hotline where someone is always available to talk with you or someone you love. It’s worth putting into your phone contacts—you never know when you might need it.
If you’ve been wrestling with grief due to losing someone in your life—we have a Group called Grief Share that currently meets at the Nicholasville and Richmond Campuses. You can go to the Groups page and sign up there.
Books that we recommend for families that have walked through suicide:
Grieving A Suicide, by Albert Y Hsu.
So Much to Live For (How to Provide Help & Hope to Someone Considering Suicide) by Gregory Jantz.
For Christian Counseling, go to Southland.church/help scroll down & fill out the form and our staff will get you connected to a couple of Christian Counseling options. All this is confidential.
If you’re struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts or feel stuck right now…the drastic thing that you should do is Reach out for help. Please reach out to a church or our church. We have a lot of resources and we’d be honored to come alongside you and your family. We’ve got staff that would be willing to sit down with you, Groups for Veterans, First Responders, Mental Health Groups, Grief Share and a bunch of other Groups—you need community and you need to know that you’re not alone.
Please reach out.
Discussion Guide:
- What’s one thing that brings a smile to your face regardless of how tough your day has been? (E.g. book, memory, movie, person, song, TV show, etc.)
- How would you describe your mental health during this season of life? What factors have contributed to your current state?
- Scott shared some statistics regarding mental health on a more macro scale. Which was the most alarming or surprising to you? Why?
- Read Matthew 22:37. Despite the notion that the Bible only speaks to our spiritual health, Jesus actually speaks to a more comprehensive view of how we’re to love God, love others, and love ourselves — which includes our mental health. How should this change our perspective towards the stigma of mental health?
- Read James 5:17-18 and 1 Kings 19:1-8. Elijah is one of the most well-known prophets in the Bible because of the “mountaintop” and “valley” moments he experienced. What are some of the signs that suggest someone may be in a “valley” and struggling with depression? How can we bring these concerns to light in a gracious and tactful way?
- Read John 10:10 and 2 Corinthians 1:3-7. Scott and Kevin talked about the lies the enemy will try to plant in our minds. However, God provides us comfort even in the midst of our suffering. Not to give Satan too much credit, why is this an effective strategy? What are some of the reasons discussions about pain and suffering tend to be avoided in Christian circles?
- Read Romans 12:1-2, 2 Corinthians 10:3-6, and Ephesians 4:20-24. Paul touches on the importance of our thought patterns in his letters. What are the implications based on these verses?
- Read Isaiah 26:3, Romans 8:6, and Colossians 3:1-2. One of the ways we can fight for our mental health is by focusing on the eternal instead of the earthly. What are some of the different ways we can practically set our minds on the things of God?
- Read, pray, and meditate on Psalm 34:17-18 this week. Make it a commitment to convert this verse to memory.
- Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. When you sense something in yourself or in others, say something. Here’s a list of resources to save for future reference:
- Suicide & Crisis Hotline 988
- Southland Christian Church Care Staff
- Christian Counseling Referral
- Care Groups (DivorceCare, GriefShare, War Stories, etc.)
God’s heart is to move us toward the deeper places that strengthen our faith and trust in Him, and the main way that happens is through prayer.
Prayer can seem like a bit of a mystery. But in reality it's a conversation between our heart and the heart of God. Becoming intentional in our prayer life is something every man should lean into, because the stakes are too high if we don't.
Join us on this episode of Locker Room as Scott sits down with Matt Williams to talk about how we can be intentional with our prayer.
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Discussion Guide
Who was the first person you ever heard pray (E.g. family member, coach, teammate, character in a movie or TV show, etc.)? What do you remember about their prayer?
In your own words, what does it mean to pray? What’s the importance of prayer?
How would you describe your attitude towards prayer? Have you ever had a situation that drove you to pray earnestly to God? If so, what were the circumstances?
Read Matthew 6:5-8. The phrase “when you pray…” is repeated three times in this passage. This implies Jesus expects His followers to pray. Is prayer currently a priority in your life? Why or why not? What are some of the barriers or hurdles you’ve experienced with prayer? (E.g. comparison, distractions, guilt/shame, repetition, time constraints, etc.)
Read Luke 11:1-4. Although the disciples witnessed Jesus perform a number of miracles (E.g. calming storms, healing the sick, raising the dead, etc.), their only request is for Him to teach them how to pray. What are the implications for us regarding the significance of prayer? What else resonates with you about this specific prayer?
Read Nehemiah 1:4-11. Nehemiah’s prayer has a similar framework to the Lord’s Prayer found in Matthew 6:9-13 and Luke 11:1-4 — God’s greatness, God’s promises, specific requests, and confession. Which of these components do you have the tendency to naturally pray? Which do you have the tendency to leave out?
Read Proverbs 8:32-36, John 10:14-15, and John 10:27. Prayer is intended to be a dialogue, not a monologue. In other words, our communication with God should include speaking as well as listening. Why is listening difficult in general and especially as it pertains to prayer? How can we become more effective listeners?
Read Philippians 4:6-7, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, and Hebrews 4:16. How should verses like these change our perspective and our approach to prayer?
At the end of the day, prayer is essentially having a conversation throughout the day with our Good Father. What are your 1-2 main takeaways from today’s episode?
Scott landed the discussion by sharing a story with a powerful illustration on prayer. Make it a priority this week to have a daily conversation with God in one of the empty seats around you.
In this episode of Locker Room, we are focusing on communication in marriage.
Communication is critical. It fuels our intimacy, allows us to be fully loving & be fully loved, fully knowing & being fully known. Communication strengthens our relationships, and it’s what keeps vision and mission central in our marriage.
We may be great at communication with our spouse or we may have a lot of work to do in this area, but with God’s help we can all improve.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Who is a communicator that you admire? What do you admire about them?
How would you describe your communication style? How is it consistent or different depending on the context?
When has ineffective communication cost you something? How did you respond?
Read Proverbs 12:18, Proverbs 15:1-2, and Proverbs 16:24. Healthy communication is vital to any relationship.
The book of Proverbs has several verses that remind us to be wise with our words. Who models this well in your sphere of influence? What specific examples or situations come to mind?
Read James 1:5, Ephesians 5:25-33, James 1:19, and Ephesians 4:29. Scott highlighted how communication can affect four primary areas of our relationships: decision-making, roles and responsibilities, expectations, and spiritual intimacy. How do these verses speak into each of these areas? How have you seen effective or poor communication impact your relationship in these areas?
Read Proverbs 18:21 and Matthew 12:36-37. It’s tempting to hold more weight for our actions in comparison to our words. But based on these verses, what are the eternal implications of our words?
Read Psalm 141:3, Colossians 3:8, Colossians 4:6, and James 3:5-8. What are some of the ways we can proactively guard our tongues?
Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. If you put your name at the beginning of each attribute, which areas are you stronger? Which areas do you have room for growth?
Read, pray, and meditate on Psalm 139:23-24 this week. Ask God to search your heart and reveal any area where you’re not leading well with your communication during this season. Own your shortcomings to your significant other and ask how you can serve them better moving forward.
Take the initiative to establish healthy communication with your significant other by committing to one of the following challenges:
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Go to church together and discuss your main takeaways from the message
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Designate one day of the week for a Bible study or a book study together
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Pray with each other on a daily basis
Picking up from last week, Scott and Nate continue into specifics on how we as dads build into the relationships with our kids, and how to be an example of what being a godly man looks like.
We’ll talk about listening well and how we can ask good questions. We’ll also talk about how to start the discipline of praying for and encouraging our children regularly.
Discussion Guide:
- Who’s one of your favorite TV dads? Why are they one of your favorites?
- In your opinion, what are 2-3 of the most important attributes of a father or father-like figure? Why did you select these?
- Read Matthew 11:28-30. This passage is the only place in Scripture where Jesus explicitly says what His heart is like — gentle and lowly. What does it mean to be approachable? What does it mean to be understanding? Why is this important for the way we interact and engage with kids?
- Read Isaiah 64:8, Matthew 6:9, and 1 John 3:1. God is referred to as Father over 10 times in the Old Testament and over 150 times in the New Testament. What’s your understanding of God as a Father? How should our perspective of God as a good Father influence how we approach parenting or influencing the next generation?
- Read Psalm 145:4, Proverbs 4:11-12, and Proverbs 23:24. Two of the most important things we could pass down to the next generation are wisdom and faith. How have you benefited from someone else sharing or modeling this for you?
- Read Deuteronomy 6:6-7, Proverbs 22:6, and Ephesians 6:4. Children will need a strong biblical foundation in order to navigate life. What are you teaching the kids God has entrusted to you during this season (own children, students, players, mentees, etc.)? Are there any specific spiritual disciplines or practices you’re implementing to help them grow in their faith?
- Read Proverbs 27:19. What are some areas where you believe you’re doing well as a father or father figure? Which areas do you have room to grow?
- What are 1-2 main takeaways you have from last week’s episode and this week’s episode?
- Make it a priority this week to not only pray for the kids in your orbit, but to also pray with them.
- Share this episode along with “Raising Boys Pt.1” with some other fathers or father figures in your life.
The most important mark that we leave on this world is the mark we leave on our kids. Raising children is important and it’s a big part of our role as men as we lead our homes. In this episode of Locker Room, Scott starts a conversation with Nate Head, who along with his wife Stefany is raising two young men.
Even if you don’t have sons, you are a man, and today’s episode might help you think about how you were raised. If you are raising girls, a lot of this conversation can be transferable for us as dads, as long as we contextualize our situation.
Discussion Guide:
- Share one of your favorite dad jokes.
- What’s one of your fondest memories from your childhood? Why did you choose this specific memory?
- The phrase “Boys will be boys…” is periodically quoted throughout our lives. What comes to mind when you hear or see this? What are certain attributes or qualities about boys that make them uniquely different from girls?
- The books of 1 Samuel and 2 Samuel as well as some of the Psalms highlight different descriptions of David — shepherd, musician, warrior, king, and poet. Based on David’s different giftings and interests, how would you describe what it means to be a man? What is the essence of manhood?
- Read 1 Samuel 17:1-58 and 2 Samuel 11:1-27. These two passages of Scripture record what are arguably David’s highest and lowest moments in his life. What are the key moments that forged you into the man you are today? What did you learn?
- Read 2 Samuel 12:24-25, 1 Kings 2:1-12, and 1 Kings 3:1-28. David’s son, Solomon, would serve as the next king and would eventually be regarded as one of the wisest people to ever live. How would you describe your relationship with your father or father figure? What values did you learn from him?
- Read 1 Kings 11:1-6. In this section, we see the ripple effect of generational sin. Have you ever considered your father’s upbringing? How has it impacted you today?
- Read Proverbs 1:1-9. Solomon would eventually stray far from God, but he didn’t allow it to define him. The book of Proverbs is a reflection of what life has taught him. Based on these verses, what’s the purpose of Proverbs? Why is this significant in light of Solomon’s story and David’s story? What are the implications for us?
- Read Proverbs 3:5, Proverbs 4:23, Proverbs 15:1, Proverbs 16:3, and Proverbs 22:6. What’s the best piece of advice or encouragement you’ve received from another man? How have you applied it?
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Grab a copy of one of the following resources to read and discuss with another dad or father-like figure:
- Raising Boys by James Dobson
- Raising a Modern-Day Knight by Robert Lewis
- Every Young Man’s Battle by Arterburn & Stoker
- The Intentional Father by Jon Tyson
Adoption is the highest privilege that the gospel offers.‘Father’ is the Christian name for God., and our understanding of Christianity cannot be better than our grasp of adoption. All of us have been adopted into God’s family when we follow Jesus. Eric is back this week with Scott to talk about how adoption has become a part of each of their own family’s story.
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- If you had to choose between listening to a story or reading a story, which would you choose? Why?
- What’s a pivotal choice you’ve made that you’ve never regretted? What led you to make this decision?
- Eric and Scott mentioned that adoption is a key theme throughout the pages of Scripture (see Exodus 2, 1 Samuel 1, the Gospels). In your own words, how would you describe what it means to be chosen? How has adoption directly or indirectly impacted you?
- Read Luke 4:28-29, John 6:63-67, and Luke 23:13-25. Arguably, the opposite of being chosen is being rejected. These verses highlight how Jesus experienced rejection. When have you dealt with rejection? How did you process this in the moment and the days that followed? Does it still affect you today? If so, how?
- Read Psalm 27:10, Psalm 68:5-6, James 1:27, and 1 John 3:1. Despite the rejection we might experience in this life from the world, there’s a greater narrative being written by God — we’ve been chosen by Him to be a part of His family. What resonates with you about these verses?
- Read John 1:12-13, 2 Corinthians 6:18, Galatians 4:3-7, and Ephesians 1:4-6. When Jesus prays to God, he often refers to Him as “Father.” How should knowing that God is also a father change our relationship with Him? How have our earthly fathers helped or hindered this perspective?
- Eric and Scott discussed some of the different dynamics and misconceptions that exist about adoption (E.g. open vs. closed, varsity vs. JV, the role and care of birth moms, etc.). What information surprised you? Why?
- Scott shared the following quote from J.I. Packer: “Adoption is the highest privilege that the gospel offers: higher than justification. To be right with God the Judge is a great offering, but to be loved and cared for by God the Father is even greater. ‘Father’ is the Christian name for God. Our understanding of Christianity cannot be better than our grasp of adoption.” How has your perspective on adoption changed after listening to this episode?
- Listen to the song “Who You Say I Am” by Hillsong Worship. What lyrics resonate with you in light of the adoption narrative found in the Bible?
- Carve out some intentional time and space this week to pray about what role God’s calling you to play in adoption. Is this something you and your spouse should consider? Or are you called to provide emotional support, financial support, or spiritual support to those who have been called to adopt?
Whether or not we’ve personally dealt with infertility, we’ve all experienced unmet expectations and disappointment. This can have a significant impact in our relationships with other people as well as our relationship with God. In this week’s episode, Scott is joined by Eric to walk through their family’s respective journeys with infertility and what God has taught them in the process.
Watch Locker Room on Youtube: https://bit.ly/lockerroompod
Find other Southland.Church Podcasts: https://southland.church/podcasts
Spiritual markers are defining moments or critical places in our lives where we can look back and see evidence of God’s activity. As a result, our faith can be strengthened instead of shaken if we allow God to use it for our good and for His glory. Scott sits down with Reecie Stagnolia to look at four specific spiritual markers in Reecie’s life.
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Discussion Guide:
- What’s one of your all-time favorite moments from a movie, TV show, or sports event? Why is this one of your favorites?
- In your own words, what makes a moment a “defining” moment?
- Read Luke 5:1-11. Describe one defining moment from your life that impacted you physically. (E.g. career change, illness, injury, surgery, weight loss, etc.)
- Read Matthew 14:22-33. Describe one defining moment from your life that impacted you mentally. (E.g. addiction, anxiety, counseling, deployment, depression, incarceration, etc.)
- Read Matthew 16:13-20. Describe one defining moment from your life that impacted you relationally. (E.g. biblical community, breakup, divorce, engagement, marriage, moving, etc.)
- Read Matthew 26:69-75. Describe one defining moment from your life that impacted you emotionally. (E.g. birth of a child, death of a family member or friend, infertility, miscarriage, etc.)
- Read John 21:7-19. Ultimately, how did each of these defining moments impact your faith and your relationship with God? Did they strengthen or shake the foundation of your faith?
- Read Psalm 145:8-9, Lamentations 3:22-23, and Ephesians 2:4-5. Were you able to see evidence of God’s grace and mercy in the moment? Or were you more aware of His activity later after some time had passed?
- Read Isaiah 61:1-3 and Joel 2:23-25. In what ways is God still writing and redeeming your story today?
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Oftentimes, when we think of defining moments, we believe they have to be monumental in nature. In reality, these defining moments can also be found in simple yet profound decisions. Pray for God to reveal what that decision is for you. Here are a few primers:
- With Jesus: Making a commitment to follow Jesus by being baptized or speaking with your pastor about a burden you’ve been carrying
- In Community: Praying with your family on a consistent basis or reconciling a broken relationship
- On Mission: Serving inside the local church or volunteering in your community at a local school
One phone call, one text, or one email can drastically change the trajectory of our day and potentially our lives — especially as it pertains to our physical health and wellbeing. In this episode, Scott discusses his friend Phil’s recent cancer diagnosis, and how Phil is navigating this current season.
Watch the Locker Room Podcast here!
Find our other podcasts here.
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Discussion Guide
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What are your thoughts on surprises? Do you enjoy them? Hate them? Indifferent towards them? Why?
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When was the last time you or someone close to you received some unexpected news? What was the context? How do you typically respond in these situations?
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Read Matthew 7:24-27, John 16:33, and 1 Peter 1:3-7. How has your faith been impacted in these unexpected moments? How does this affect your relationship with God?
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Read Deuteronomy 31:8, Isaiah 55:8-9, and John 14:27. We have responsibility and influence, but ultimately, God is in control. Does this reality give you a sense of peace? Why or why not?
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Read Jeremiah 29:11, Psalm 145:9, and Romans 8:28. How would you describe the goodness of God? Do you struggle to believe God is good, even in the midst of difficult circumstances?
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Read Psalm 41:3, Psalm 73:26, and Psalm 119:50. How have God’s words been a source of comfort and strength for you during a challenging season?
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Read Proverbs 17:17, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, and Galatians 6:2. How has the community that God has placed around you been a source of comfort and strength during a challenging season?
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Read John 11:25-26, 2 Corinthians 4:14-18, and Revelation 21:4. Scott and Phil discussed how healing doesn’t always come on this side of Heaven, but there is healing on the other side of Heaven. How do we faithfully wrestle in this tension while living on this side of eternity?
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Read Romans 8:24-25, Romans 12:12, and Romans 15:13. Jesus fulfills our greatest need and deepest longing of our soul by His death on the cross, His resurrection, and His ascension into Heaven. Through these acts, He gives us the healing and hope we desperately desire at the core of our being. How should the hope of eternity in Heaven transform our minds and our hearts today as we (or those closest to us) battle with illness?
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We all know someone who may be suffering physically and/or mentally during this season. Make it a priority to connect with this person in the next few days.
Whether we want to believe it or not, our stories matter. Reflecting on our stories provides an opportunity to see how God has been at work in our lives and how He’s still at work in our lives. Scott unpacks his story with his lifelong friend, Phil Miller, who has played an instrumental role in who Scott is today.
Fear Less, with Gary Black
This episode of Locker Room is all about helping men fight back against fear. Fear has been bullying people for far too long. Fear is an emotion. To resist fear is really about the decisions we make to not be overcome by it.
Gary Black joins Scott this week to share three decisions he has made—that we can all make—to push back on fear, live by faith and be resilient. When fear ambushes us and even slams us to the ground, we'll learn how to rise up, fight back and conquer it.
We’ve kicked off Fight Club at the Nicholasville Campus on Monday nights. If you’re interested in jumping in with us—come on. Go to southland.church/groups, click on the NIC campus, scroll through the Group selections and choose Fight Club to sign up.
Want to start or join a Locker Room Men’s Group—go to southland.church/groups, pick your campus and start one or jump into one!
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LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE
Do you have any irrational fears? (E.g. clowns, the dark, mannequins, etc.)
What other fears do you wrestle with? What keeps you up at night? (E.g. career, health, family, finances, etc.)
Read Matthew 8:18, 23-27. Fear is not something we conquer once and put to bed. It’s something we’ll continue to address throughout our lives. How have you navigated this season in light of your fear?
Read Deuteronomy 31:6, Psalm 23:4, Psalm 27:1, and Psalm 56:3-4. The phrase “Don’t be afraid” or “Fear not” is repeated over 300 times in the Bible. What do you think the implications are for us? How has the enemy used fear to rob you and stunt your growth?
Read Psalm 112:7, Romans 12:1-2, and 2 Corinthians 10:5. Our emotions are meant to be gauges, not guides. The presence of anxiety is unavoidable, but the prison of anxiety is optional. What ways do you 'catastrophize' events or situations in your life? How often has it actually been as bad as you were expecting?
Read Isaiah 26:3-4, Matthew 14:22-36, and Mark 6:45-52. It’s better to be with Jesus in a storm than to be in a storm without Him. Peace isn’t the absence of storms; it’s the presence of Jesus. Who or what do you turn to for peace in the midst of a storm or trial? Why is the peace we’re looking for only found in Jesus?
Read Matthew 28:19-20, John 16:33, Romans 8:11, 1 Corinthians 15:12-14, and 2 Timothy 1:7. How should the resurrection empower us as followers of Jesus?
Hatfield mentioned the song, “The Battle Belongs” by Phil Wickham in this episode. What songs give you courage and strength during your time of need?
Read Romans 8:31-39. What thoughts immediately come to mind after reading this passage? How should these biblical truths change the way we approach our walk with Jesus?
Grab a pen and a piece of paper and answer the following questions:
- What’s holding me back in this season? - What would I do if I wasn’t afraid? - What does God’s Word say in light of my fears?
Enduring Faith, with Brian Lucas
Trials and hard times are a part of our story. There is no such thing as a prosperity gospel. It’s not in Scripture. Faith in Jesus doesn’t take away our pain, it doesn’t remove our circumstances and it doesn’t mean we’ll always be happy, healthy and wealthy. It’s not in there. Hard times will either build our faith or if we’re not careful—will destroy our faith.
On this episode of Locker Room, Scott is joined by Brian Lucas to share about many trials that he and his wife Jenn have endured together, with God’s help along the way. We hope you’ll be encouraged hearing their story and may identify with some of these same challenges in your own life.
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We’ve kicked off Fight Club at the Nicholasville Campus on Monday nights. If you’re interested in jumping in with us—come on. Go to southland.church/groups, click on the NIC campus, scroll through the Group selections and choose Fight Club to sign up.
Want to start or join a Locker Room Men’s Group—go to southland.church/groups, pick your campus and start one or jump into one!
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE
What’s the toughest physical or mental activity you’ve ever done that required endurance? (E.g. Boot camp, CrossFit competition, marathon, Tough Mudder, etc.) What did you learn from the experience?
How would you define the word “endure” in your own words? What examples come to mind when you think of this word?
Read Romans 5:3-5, James 1:2-4, and 1 Peter 1:6-7. How would you explain the difference between happiness and joy? Do you see tests or trials as an opportunity for growth? Why or why not?
Who is someone you know that has been through difficult trials? How have you seen them respond? How has their response encouraged you?
Read John 16:33. Hatfield mentioned that hard times will either build our faith or break our faith if we’re not careful. Has there ever been a life event that’s shaken your faith? How did you respond?
Psalm 3, Psalm 13, Psalm 22, and Psalm 42 are known as Psalms of lament which means to express true anguish or pain. It should also be noted there’s an entire book of the Bible called “Lamentations.” What’s your default when you’re grieving? (E.g. Angry, depressed, disbelief, etc.) Why do men have the tendency to compartmentalize their grief as part of their human experience?
Read Psalm 56:3-4, Proverbs 3:5-6, Isaiah 26:3-4, and Isaiah 41:10. Does trust come to you naturally? Why or why not? Why is it tempting to put our trust in anything other than God?
Read 1 Corinthians 10:13 and 2 Corinthians 12:7-9. What’s your initial reaction to these verses? How does this frame your perspective on what it means to have “enduring faith”?
Read Psalm 119:49-50 and James 1:12. Who or what do you turn to for comfort or hope during trials? (E.g. God’s Word, family, friends, music, etc.) Why do you believe in the assurance of these outlets? What makes them trustworthy?
The vast majority of men have gone through something that’s rocked their world. Have you taken the time to truly process this event and begin to heal from it? If not, reach out to a trusted friend, staff member at your local church, or reputable counselor in your community this week.
Faith Obeys
Most of the significant life-change, transformation and breakthrough in our lives will come on the other side of obedience: hearing God's Word, receiving it humbly, and wholeheartedly putting it into practice. Join us this week as Scott unpacks from the book of James and digs into two words: faith obeys.
Locker Room is back and we’re going to continue the theme from last season—taking two words at a time, doing a deep dive, unpacking God’s Word and God’s heart for us as men around things that matter.
We’d love to hear from you. Shoot us an email at lockerroom@southland.church. We’d love to hear how this podcast is encouraging you and would be honored to help you in any way that we can!
If you want to join a Locker Room Group at Southland, go to southland.church/groups and click ‘Join a Group’.
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE
Were you mainly obedient or disobedient as a kid?
Is it possible to do the right things for the wrong reasons? Why or why not?
Read James 1:19-20. When has being slow to listen, quick to speak, and quick to become angry backfired on you? What did you learn from the experience?
Read James 1:21. It’s hard to receive what God wants to offer when we’re holding onto our former way of living. Why do we cling to the things of this world rather than clinging to God’s Word?
Read James 1:22-25. James is clear that we need to move from information to application for transformation. What hinders our ability to be obedient to God? How can we move from desire to discipline?
Read 2 Timothy 3:16-17. When has the Bible offended you or stepped on your toes? How did you respond?
Read Joshua 1:8-9, Psalm 1:1-3, and Psalm 119:15-16. Why is it important for us to meditate on God’s Word? Do you view His Word as a gift? Why or why not?
Read Matthew 16:24-27, Luke 6:46-49, and John 14:15. What are the implications for us in light of Jesus’ words in each of these passages?
Read Acts 20:22-24 and 2 Corinthians 11:24-31. Paul was clear on the cost of his obedience. How should his story (and examples of others in the Bible) serve as a source of encouragement for us?
Living by faith or walking by faith implies an action. Where is God calling you to obey Him during this season? Ask God to give you the courage and strength to take your next step in obedience by trusting Him. Here are a few examples:
With Jesus → studying the Bible | baptism | asking for prayer
In Community → joining a group | going to AA | leading your family
On Mission → serving at church | volunteering in the community
How is your summer going? What have you been doing along the way? Hopefully you’ve gotten to have some downtime. Hopefully you’ve been able to downshift, get some vacation time, put your feet in some sand, knock out some projects around the house, and get in somebody’s pool or the lake.
Circle up with Scott in this episode as we wind out the summer season. Scott shares what’s been going on in his world, and about some exciting things going on here at Southland. We’ll also talk about an additional new podcast and a new resource coming your way in the fall.
We’ll be back in a couple of weeks to kick off season 11 of Locker Room.
Here's what's happening this fall:
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“Fight Club” Men’s Group | Begins Monday, August 21st | 7PM-9PM | Nicholasville Campus (Building B) | southland.church/groups | shatfield@southland.church
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“Locker Room” Men’s Podcast | New episodes begin Friday, August 25th | Join or lead a Locker Room group | southland.church/groups | lockerroom@southland.church
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Two new podcasts: “Tell Me More” Women’s Podcast, coming September 2023 and Southland's Parenting Podcast, coming later in Fall 2023. southland.church/podcasts
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“Pre-Marriage Workshop” | Friday, October 27th & Saturday, October 28th | Lexington Campus | southland.church/marriage
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Southland Residency Program | June 2023-May 2024 | southland.church/residency
Sacrificial Surrender
Sacrifice is laying down something you love for something you love even more. It doesn’t matter if what you’re laying down in surrender is good, destructive, toxic or awesome—it’s laying down something that you love for something you love even more. It’s what Abraham did. It’s what God the Father did for us in sending Jesus.
It all comes down to the question, “Can I trust God with what He’s asking me to surrender?” Genesis 22:14 says, “...The LORD Will Provide.” God provides. God meets us where we are and He provides. He provides us with grace, strength, and peace. He provides us with healing. He provides us with freedom! Pain and beauty are found in these two words: sacrificial surrender.
This is the final episode of this season, but we’ll be back in the fall. In the meantime we’d love to hear from you! Drop us an email at lockerroom@southland.church with responses to these three things:
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Share a couple of the episodes that were helpful or resonated with you.
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Share two words that you’d be interested in us tackling on the podcast in the fall.
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And we’d love to know how you are using Locker Room. Are you strictly using it for your own personal time with God? Are you using Locker Room content with a group of men (Locker Room Group, Accountability Group, some other group, etc.)? Have you shared any of these episodes with people in your life or any story about that? We’d love to hear your stories!
Thanks in advance for taking the time to help us shape future episodes.
You can access all of our past episodes and seasons on our website at lockeroompodcast.com. If you click on the listen link, you’ll find a search feature at the top where you can put in a topic (marriage, parenting, sexual purity, etc.) and you should see some specific results that might be helpful. If you hit the watch link, it will take you to our youtube page where you can watch episodes from the past couple of years we have been filming.
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE: S10 Episode 18 - “Two Words: Sacrificial Surrender"
Did you ever watch wrestling as a kid? If so, who was your favorite wrestler and why?
When have you “tapped out” on a situation (e.g. debate, home project, martial arts, sports, etc.)? What led you to the decision to submit?
Read Matthew 16:24-26 and James 4:7-8. What does it mean for us to surrender as followers of Jesus? Why is it difficult for us to fully submit our lives to Jesus?
Read Genesis 22:1-14 and Hebrews 11:17-19. What stands out to you about Abraham’s story? How is his story both an encouragement and a challenge for us?
Read Romans 4:1-5, Hebrews 11:1-3, and 1 Peter 1:6-9. How would you define “faith” in your own words? What’s a biblical definition of faith? Why does faith seem foolish to the outside world?
Read Psalm 1:1-2, Matthew 7:24-27, and James 1:22-25. The theme derived from each of these passages is obedience. What area(s) do you struggle with being obedient to God? Why is this particular area a struggle?
Read Matthew 6:25-34, Hebrews 13:5, and 2 Peter 1:3-4. These passages speak to God’s provision. What area(s) do you struggle to relinquish the need for control? Why is this particular area a struggle?
Read Joshua 1:9, Psalm 33:4, Psalm 37:5, and Proverbs 3:5-6. Ultimately, our ability to surrender comes down to trust. Have you ever considered what could be on the other side of fully surrendering your life to God? What’s holding you back?
Here are four songs that hit home on the subject of surrender. Take some time to listen and reflect on these songs, and pay special attention to the words. (“I Surrender” | “Run to the Father” | “O Come to the Altar” | “Nothing Else”). Which one speaks to you? Why?
10 Passages
This week on Locker Room we’re going to take 10 passages from God’s word and look at them closer. These words from God are important because they lay a firm foundation to build your life, your marriage and your family on.
We’d love for you to go on this journey for yourself! Please feel free to dig out your own set of 10 passages and then email us at lockerroom@southland.church.
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE S10 E17 - “Two Words: Ten Passages”
What’s one of your favorite quotes? Why is this one of your favorites?
Read Genesis 1:1 and Genesis 1:27. Genesis Ch.1 is known as the “Creation Account.” What resonates with you about this text? Why is this foundational to our faith?
Read Mark 12:30-31. The “Great Commandment” can also be found in Mark’s and Luke’s gospel accounts. It’s important to note this is a commandment from Jesus, not a recommendation or a suggestion. Why does Jesus cover all aspects of who we are (e.g. emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically)? What’s the significance of understanding our vertical relationship with God in light of our horizontal relationship with others?
Read John 14:6. Verses like this can be a stumbling block for people who believe Jesus is a way, a truth, and a life rather than the way, the truth, and the life. How can we present this biblical truth with grace to those who choose not to follow Jesus?
Read Matthew 28:18-20. This passage, known as the “Great Commission”, is Jesus commanding His followers to go (evangelism) and make disciples (discipleship). Simply stated, our faith is not a spectator sport. Which part of this mission is more natural for you to engage with? Why? How can you be more intentional in prioritizing both?
Read Acts 2:42-47. These verses describe the priorities of the first biblical communities. The church is most helpful to the world when we look the least like the world. That’s not us pridefully saying we’re better than the world, but we have been called by God to look different. How do we navigate the tension of being in the world but not of the world?
Read Micah 6:8. This verse is one of many that is often taken out of context. What does it mean to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly according to God’s standard?
Read Romans 8:1-2 and Romans 8:37-39. Romans Ch.8 is considered one of the most powerful sections in all of the Bible. How are these verses a source of comfort and encouragement for us especially when we’re wrestling with doubts or insecurity?
Read Revelation 21:1-4. For those of us who are naturally anxious or feel the need to control everything, we can find rest in God’s promises. Which of the promises in this passage resonate with you? Why?
Read 1 Corinthians 16:13. Write this verse on an index card or post-it note, and place it somewhere you will see it daily. Ask God to reveal the following this week:
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What areas in my life am I “asleep at the wheel”?
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What areas in my life am I compromising on my character and integrity?
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What areas in my life am I abdicating responsibility?
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What areas in my life am I not being totally dependent on God?
Imago Dei
Two words: Imago Dei - the image of God. In this week’s episode of Locker room we are talking about identity.
Identity is something the enemy loves to distort in men’s lives. Identity is foundational. Who we think we are cuts a channel for how we live, how we interact with others, how we interact with God, how we view our vocation, how we handle success and failure, and how we view others.
So what is it? Where does our identity come from? How do we know that we have value, significance and worth? It’s who God says that we are! You are who your Creator says that you are! And it’s the only thing that will satisfy you, anchor you; it’s the only firm foundation that we can build our lives on.
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE S10 E 16 - “Two Words: Imago Dei”
Who would you say is your celebrity lookalike? How would you define the word “identity”? Why is it critical to have a proper perspective on where our identity comes from?
Read Proverbs 23:7, Philippians 4:8, and Colossians 3:1-4. What or who has influenced your perception of who you are? How has this influenced you positively? How has this influenced you negatively?
Read Proverbs 30:31, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, and 2 Corinthians 4:16. How have you attempted to find your identity in your appearance? What has God taught you in the process?
Read 2 Corinthians 5:9, Galatians 1:10, and 1 Thessalonians 2:3-4. How have you attempted to find your identity in people-pleasing? What has God taught you in the process?
Read Matthew 5:14-16, Philippians 3:12-14, and Colossians 3:23-24. How have you attempted to find your identity in achievement, performance, or success? What has God taught you in the process?
Read Genesis 1:26-27, Psalm 139:13-18, and 1 John 3:1-3. The Bible is clear on where we should get our identity from. It’s not rooted in the earthly things of this world; it’s anchored in who God our Father says we are. Why is it so tempting to find our identity in anyone, anything, or anywhere except God?
Read John 3:16-17, Romans 5:6-11, and Romans 8:38-39. God’s love for us is on full display in these verses. When we begin to understand the lengths God went through to restore us back into His family, it should radically transform our relationship with Him and with others. Why is it difficult for us to believe in God's love for us?
Read Romans 8:14-17, Galatians 3:26-29, and Ephesians 1:3-14. Some Biblical scholars say the apostle Paul references the phrase “in Christ” or some variation over 100 times throughout his writings. Why is it important for us to understand our new identity in Christ? What lies does the enemy tell you to keep you from moving this biblical truth from your head to your heart? How do we combat these lies?
Print a copy of this “Who I am in Christ” resource. Make a daily or weekly commitment to review it and remind yourself of your new identity in Christ.
Healthy Rhythms
Jesus had the habit of getting alone with the Father and then being with people. Over and over again, we see Him withdraw to the wilderness to pray and connect with the Father. He had this rhythm of connecting with the Father (filling his tank) and then spending time with people (pouring out from the well of His time with God).
We have to realize that we’re not God. We have limits. But if we will fight to protect our relationship with Jesus, and we will love ourselves enough to take care of our bodies, we’ll be healthier men and stronger men. Then we’ll be able to invest in our families, relationships, work and kingdom stuff that God calls us to be a part of.
Join us in this episode of Locker Room as we circle up with Scott Nickell and Jon Weece to talk about two words: Healthy Rhythms.
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE S10 E15 - "Two Words: Healthy Rhythms”
We all have at least 1 or 2 weird habits. What’s one of yours?
Would you describe yourself as a disciplined person? Why or why not?
It’s been said “If Satan can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.” How do we proactively fight against being busy? What does it mean to have healthy rhythms?
Read Proverbs 4:23, Jeremiah 17:9, and Ephesians 5:15-16. Why is it crucial for us to be vigilant about how we’re doing and how we’re living?
Read Genesis 1:1-2:3. Boundaries, order, and structure are recurring themes throughout the Creation account. It’s also noteworthy that God rested on the 7th day. Why do you think God rested? Furthermore, why did God wait until after He created Adam and Eve to rest?
Read 1 Timothy 4:7-8, 2 Timothy 3:16-17, Matthew 6:5-6, and Matthew 6:16-18. Spiritual disciplines are not transactional behaviors serving as a report card or scoreboard in order to get something from God; spiritual disciplines are practices to help us build a transformational relationship with God and with others. What spiritual disciplines are you currently implementing (studying Scripture, prayer, fasting, etc.)? Which one(s) could you begin to prioritize? How do we guard against becoming self-righteous or ritualistic in this area?
Read 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, Romans 12:1, and Hebrews 4:9-11. We’re most vulnerable when we’re angry, bored, hungry, lonely, or tired. What physical rhythms are you currently implementing (eating, exercise, sleep, etc.)? Which one(s) could you begin to prioritize? How do we guard against these becoming idols?
Read Proverbs 18:24, Matthew 14:23, John 13:34-35, and Colossians 3:23-24. Jesus had rhythms of engaging with others and withdrawing for solitude with God. What relational or social rhythms are you currently implementing (family, friends, fun, solitude, work, etc.)? Which one(s) could you begin to prioritize? How do we establish better rhythms with work and family life?
Read Proverbs 1:7, Proverbs 3:5-6, and James 3:13-18. When has an unhealthy rhythm cost you? What did you learn? Think of a season when you felt closest to God and to others? What rhythms did you have in place?
Read Romans 12:2, Philippians 1:9-10, and James 1:5. All good things aren’t necessarily God things. We need to filter our activities and responsibilities through “good,” “better,” and “best.” Look at your calendar for this month and work through the following Stoplight Tool:
Green light - What do you need to continue doing?
Yellow light - What do you need to change or tweak?
Red light - What do you need to stop doing or take off your plate?
The Book
Many of us own a copy. In fact, the stats say 85% of U.S. households have a Bible, and the average house has 4.3 Bibles. The problem with that stat is this: just because you have one doesn’t mean that you’re using it! So why is this book important? What is the point?
The point of the Bible is to know God and to understand His ways.
God could have easily simply created us and said, “Well, I hope you find me.” Instead, He gave us His Word. It’s a gift. It’s a love letter from God to us—written with precision and purpose—so that we can know Him and know His heart for us and His heart for the world.
In this episode of Locker Room we’re going to hit the fundamentals of how to get into God’s Word and make it part of our daily lives.
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE S10E14 - Two Words: The Book
Would you classify yourself as a reader? Why or why not? If so, what’s one of your favorite books?
When you hear the phrase “the Bible,” what’s the first thought that comes to mind? Who introduced you to the Bible, and what was their approach?
Read Joshua 1:8, Psalm 1:2, and Acts 17:10-11. Physically speaking, the majority of us wouldn’t eat one meal each week and expect it to sustain us over time. Why is it difficult for us to view our spiritual nourishment from this same perspective?
How would you describe your experience with reading and studying the Bible? What are some of the barriers you’ve encountered that hinder your ability to make it a part of your daily rhythm? Which stories or books of the Bible do you naturally connect with? Why? Which passages are the most challenging or intimidating to read? Why?
Read Psalm 119:9-11, Matthew 7:24-27, and John 8:31-32. We are all being formed or shaped by something or someone to develop our worldview. If you were to take an honest inventory of your daily input (books, music, podcasts, radio shows, television, etc.), what would you say is currently shaping your worldview? How does this align with having a Biblical worldview?
Read John 17:17, Hebrews 4:12, and Revelation 22:18-19. We all have a temptation to read the Bible with a highlighter in one hand and a pair of scissors in the other. Which of the following do you tend to wrestle with the most as it relates to reading and studying the Bible:
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Is it true?
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Is it loving?
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Is it God’s best for me?
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Can I trust Him?
Read 2 Timothy 3:14-17, Romans 12:2, and James 1:22-25. The purpose of reading the Bible is to help us grow in our relationship with God so that we can live out our faith in real, tangible ways. Simply stated, we read for transformation not just information. How has reading and studying the Bible transformed your life? What strategies or tools have you implemented when reading and studying the Bible? How would you encourage someone who is beginning their journey?
Scott mentioned the SOAP method (Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer) as one potential approach to reading and studying the Bible. Using this strategy, commit to the 20/20 challenge he referenced (20 verses for 20 minutes) over the course of this week.
Hate Sin (part 2)
Each of us are in a daily battle of choosing, “Am I going to live my day walking in what God has for me through Christ—am I going to live for Jesus? Or am I going to be dominated by my past sin, past shame, or sinful desires?”
We have to know ourselves. We have to know our history. We have to remember where we’ve been and study our own game tape knowing what brings joy and what brings heartache and shame.
Join us this week as we jump back into the two words: Hate Sin.
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE: S10 E13 - Two Words: Hate Sin (Part 2)
What was your main takeaway from the previous episode? Do you view sin any differently? Why or why not?
Read Isaiah 53:1-12, Romans 3:21-26, and 1 Corinthians 7:23. God hated sin so much, He sent Jesus on a rescue mission to reconcile us back to Him which came at a great cost. God’s grace and mercy should elicit a response from us. If we’re able to move this unfathomable truth from our heads to our hearts, how should this radically change the way we live? What hinders our ability to believe?
Read Romans 6:23, 2 Corinthians 5:17-21, and Ephesians 2:3-5. As you reflect on your journey with Jesus, what are 1 or 2 major areas in your life where you’ve witnessed significant change or growth? Some sources say the word “remember” is repeated over 200 times in the Bible. Why do you think this is significant?
Read Jeremiah 29:13, Matthew 7:7-8, and Philippians 3:13-16. If you were to reflect on your journey following Jesus, what did you have to leave behind? Did you do this with an open hand or a closed fist? How would you encou rage someone in a similar season?
Which of the following ways to hate sin come naturally for you? Which do you still have room to grow?
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Living self-aware (1 Corinthians 10:12-13, James 1:13-15, 1 Peter 5:8)
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Staying on guard (Proverbs 4:23, 1 Corinthians 16:13, Ephesians 6:10-20)
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Checking desires (Jeremiah 17:9, 1 Peter 2:10-11, Psalm 37:4)
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Being rooted in God’s Word (Psalm 1:1-6, Psalm 119:105, Hebrews 4:12)
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Walking with the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:13-26)
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Choosing integrity over opportunity (Genesis 39:1-23, Romans 12:9, 1 Peter 3:13-17)
Listen to the song Graves Into Gardens and reflect on the following questions:
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Is God better?
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Is He good, and does He want what’s best for me regardless of what the world says?
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Is what He offers me better than the sin that I struggle with?
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Does my love for God move me to really despise all sin, including the sin that I struggle with, because He’s good Father?
Hate Sin (Part 1)
How does God view sin? How does He see it? When God thinks about sin, what are His feelings?
God hates sin so much and He hates what it’s done to His creation. He hates what it does to people’s hearts, relationships, marriages, families and communities. He hates what it does to His Church. He hates how it falls out in people’s lives.
What about us? Sometimes we don’t really hate sin…we just hate everybody else’s sin. We’ve grown way too comfortable with the sin that we commit. Or maybe we’re in the middle of habitual sin where it feels like there's no way out: we can’t resist it, and we don’t have the ability to fight or be victorious over it.
This week we’ll dive into what God’s word says about sin and its effects in our lives.
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE S10 E12:Two Words: Hate Sin (Part 1)
What’s one food you hated eating as a kid? Is this a food you eat today?
How has your appetite changed over the years? What would you attribute to this change?
Read Romans 6:5-14. When we become followers of Jesus, our appetite or desire for sin should change. In the podcast, Scott said, “Sometimes, I think we don’t really hate sin.” Do you agree with this statement? Why or why not?
Read Romans 3:22-24, James 4:17, and 1 John 1:5-10. One definition of sin is an archery term that means “to miss the mark.” When we sin, we miss the mark of God’s standard. How would you describe your attitude towards sin in general? More specifically, do you have the tendency to categorize or rank different types of sin (e.g. murder vs. lying)? What about sins of commission vs. sins of omission as Scott described?
Read Proverbs 6:16-19, Romans 6:19-23, and 1 John 3:4-6. Scripture is clear about God’s attitude towards sin. One of the primary reasons God hates sin is the consequences of sin separate us from Him rather than setting us apart from the world. How does God’s attitude towards sin compare to what we see in culture? How do we live in the tension of being in the world but not of the world?
Read Proverbs 26:11, Proverbs 28:13, and James 5:16. Sin will take us further than we want to go, keep us there longer than we ever wanted to stay, and cost us far more than we ever thought. Take out a sheet of paper or use the notes app on your phone to list any unrepentant sin currently in your life. Pray for God to give you the courage to confess this to another trusted follower of Jesus.
You’re Qualified (part 2)
You have a story. God doesn’t want you to hide your story, but get comfortable with it and—when the opportunity arises—share it. When we choose to follow Christ, we become billboards of God’s grace and God’s hope. Your story is one of your greatest weapons.
Jump back in with us this week as we continue the discussion on the two words: You’re Qualified.
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE S10E11: You’re Qualified (Part 2)
What was your main takeaway from the previous episode? After listening to the episode, have you become more or less confident in God’s ability to use you? Why?
At Southland, we encourage our congregation to live With Jesus, In Community, and On Mission or what we refer to as “The Triangle.” Read Mark 10:42-45, Philippians 2:3-4, and 1 Peter 4:10. One of the ways we can live “on mission” is by serving inside or outside the church. What does serving look like for you during this season? What have you learned from the experience? If you’ve not been able to serve, what barriers have you encountered?
Read Proverbs 3:27, John 3:16, and 2 Corinthians 9:6-8. Another way we can live “on mission” is by giving our time, talent, or treasure to others. What does giving look like for you during this season? What have you learned from the experience? If you’ve not been able to give, what barriers have you encountered?
Read Matthew 5:14-16, 1 Peter 3:15-16, and Colossians 4:5-6. A third way we can live “on mission” is by sharing our testimony or what God has done in our life with others. What does sharing look like for you during this season? What have you learned from the experience? If you’ve not been able to share, what barriers have you encountered?
Read 2 Corinthians 3:2-6. William J. Toms paraphrased this passage when he famously said, “Be careful how you live; you may be the only Bible some people ever read.” If someone were to “read'' your life, what conclusions would they draw?
Grab a sheet of paper and create a Venn diagram using the following 3 circles: Ability → What gifts or talents has God equipped you with? Affinity → Where has God naturally hardwired your heart to find joy? Affirmation → How has God directly or indirectly confirmed this through His word, through prayer, or through other followers of Jesus?
*Where these 3 circles intersect is most likely your spiritual gift. Pray for God to reveal where you may have margin during this season to utilize this gift for His Kingdom. Connect with someone at your local church to discuss next steps.
You’re Qualified (Part 1)
God uses broken people. That’s all He has. God doesn’t call the equipped; He equips the called. Jesus desires for you to partner with Him to live your life on mission. Too often we think God is looking for the powerful, the affluent, the charismatic—people with dynamic personalities. We think God is looking for ability and what He’s really looking for is availability. He will equip available men who are willing to take a step and follow Him.
Join Scott and returning guest Connor Hall as they discuss how each of us are qualified to be a part of God’s team and make a difference in the lives of our families, friends, and coworkers.
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE: S10E10 You’re Qualified (Part 1)
What was your first job or the first team you were a part of? Did you feel qualified? Why or why not?
What do you think makes someone qualified for a position or role? Why did you choose your response?
Read Nehemiah 1:11-2:5. Nehemiah was a cupbearer in modern-day Iran who felt a burden or call to construction in Jerusalem. If we read the stories of other people who were called by God in the Old Testament (Noah, Moses, Rahab, David, Esther, etc.), there are two noteworthy observations: It was more about their character than their competency or credentials, and it was more about their availability than their ability. How does this trend compare to worldly standards? How would our respective teams (at work or at school) and society at large look different if those in leadership took a similar approach?
Read Acts 4:13 and 1 Corinthians 1:26-29. Although Peter and John were considered “ordinary men,” God’s power was working in them and through them in an extraordinary way. If we survey the stories of the disciples and other people who were called in the New Testament (John the Baptist, Saul/Paul, Timothy, etc.), we continue to see the same trend noted from the Old Testament. Again, God doesn’t call the equipped; He equips the called. Why do you think God chooses to operate this way? How should this change the way we approach life?
Read John 15:16, Romans 8:28-30, Ephesians 2:8-10, and 1 Peter 2:9. What are some of the lies you’ve bought into about not being qualified to be used to advance God’s Kingdom (e.g. imperfections, insecurities, etc.)? How do passages like these help us combat the lies of the Enemy? Why is it important for us to understand we’ve been called and qualified by God to be set apart from the rest of the world?
Share this episode with at least 2-3 other guys in your life. Listen to Part 2 as soon as you have an opportunity.
Two Words: Crush Pride “Pride is your greatest enemy; humility is your greatest friend.”—C.S. Lewis.
Pride makes everything about us. We’re the center of the universe—it’s all about me…
Prideful men are everywhere; humble, confident men are hard to find. Here’s the reality: God can do anything in a humble man and He won’t do anything with a prideful man. We’ve got to choose what kind of man we want to be.
In this week’s episode, Scott sits down with guest John Sampson for a tag-team dive into key scriptures where we learn what God thinks of pride and how to form a step-by-step approach to crush it out of our lives.
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE S10E9 - Two Words: Crush Pride
What’s something you take pride in (e.g. accomplishment/achievement, organization/team, position/title, skill/ability, etc.)? How do you maintain a healthy view of this?
We see pride manifest in a number of unhealthy ways throughout the pages of the Bible. How would you define pride in this context? Why is pride considered the root of all sin?
Read Proverbs 26:12 and Romans 12:16. One definition of pride is essentially our belief that we know better than God. This was first evident during the Fall in Genesis Ch.3. What does it mean to be “wise in our own eyes”? Where does pride have the tendency to rear its head in an unhealthy way in your life?
Read Proverbs 8:13, Proverbs 16:5, and James 4:6. The Bible is clear on how God feels about pride. How should we respond in light of this? Despite what Scripture says, why is pride so difficult to let go? Why is pride dangerous, especially for men?
Read 2 Samuel 12:1-9 and Matthew 7:3-5. Nathan’s confrontation of David’s hypocrisy is a great example of what Jesus refers to as the “plank” and the “speck” dynamic in the Sermon on the Mount. Why is it so easy for us to see pride in other people and not in ourselves?
Read Romans 6:5-7, Galatians 2:20, and Ephesians 4:22-24. When we reflect on who we are in Christ and what God has done for us, our response should be gratitude and humility. Why is it critical for us to understand our new identity in Christ? How does this help us keep our pride in check?
Read Philippians 2:5-8. Humility is considered the antidote to pride. Based on this text, we see how Jesus modeled this for us at the highest level. Who in your life exemplifies humility? Why is humility such an attractive trait?
Read Proverbs 15:31-33 and Proverbs 19:20. It takes humility to allow others to speak the truth in love to us, receive it graciously, and respond accordingly. Who is allowed to speak into your life? How do you receive their feedback?
Read Matthew 20:26-28 and Philippians 2:3-4. It also takes humility to serve others. Can you think of someone who has gone above and beyond to serve you during your lifetime? What did that mean to you? Who is God calling you to serve during this season?
As men, we need to intentionally confront and crush the unaddressed pride currently in our lives. For a short, compelling read about biblical humility, grab a copy of The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Tim Keller.
Click Here for the video podcast Two Words: Own It
Own it. The mindset for this week is transparent ownership.
Transparent ownership is about taking personal responsibility. It’s about personal accountability. It’s being socially, emotionally, and relationally aware of how we operate. Owning it is self-awareness of our words, actions, reactions, and motivations. It’s having a pulse on your personal and professional relationships, and your relationships with your wife and kids. Owning it pushes us towards transparency and healthier relationships. What we’ll also find is that transparent ownership actually enhances the culture around you.
A quick correction from last week’s episode: here is a link to the further reading on spiritual warfare from Gary Black: Going Deeper in Spiritual Warfare
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE S10E8: “Two Words: Own It” 1. Share a time when you were caught “red-handed” as a kid. What was your initial response in the moment? What have you learned from the experience? 2. How would you define the word “ownership”? What does this currently look like in your own life? 3. There are a number of barriers or roadblocks to taking ownership. Which of the following hinders your ability to take ownership and why: - Fear - Guilt / Shame - Insecurity - Perfectionism - Pride 4. How does a lack of ownership affect our relationship with God and our relationships with other people (e.g. home, school, sports, work, etc.)? What ways do you see a lack of ownership manifesting in our culture? 5. Read Genesis 2:15-17 and Genesis 3:1-13. Before the Fall, God gave Adam work, responsibility, and freedom with limits. Although Eve often takes the brunt of the criticism, the first sin is actually Adam abdicating his responsibility. This resulted in them covering and hiding in their shame then blame-shifting when God confronts them. Why is this pattern our natural response? How do we guard against it? 6. Read Hebrews 4:16. Does this verse change your perspective on how we can approach God? If so, how? 7. Read 1 John 1:8-10 and Romans 2:4. We need to own our sin and not allow our sin to own us. Do these passages make you more willing or more reluctant to approach God with what you need to own? Why? 8. Read Psalm 51:1-19 and Psalm 32:1-5. Although David learned the hard way (see 2 Samuel 11 & 12), these Psalms reveal a true heart change. How has God redeemed the moments in your life when you felt like you blew it? 9. Read 2 Corinthians 5:21 and Luke 23:34. Jesus demonstrated the ultimate form of ownership on the Cross when He took on the sin of the world. He even asked God to forgive His persecutors as He hung on the Cross. How should the example of Jesus impact the way we engage and interact with the people in our sphere of influence? 10. Who do you need to “own it” with this week? Is it your significant other, your kids, your co-workers, your classmates, your teammates, or your friends? Pray and ask God to give you the courage to initiate a conversation and the discernment to navigate the discussion.
Your Enemy
We all have an enemy. We actually have real enemies. The Bible tells us our enemies are Satan and demons, the world, and the flesh. This is important, because it doesn’t matter if you’re playing high school sports or entering the ring in the UFC; to have a chance of winning, you need to know your enemy. With this week's guest Gary Black, we’ll do a deep dive on Satan and demons and learn how to fight our enemy.
Further reading on spiritual warfare: Bondage Breaker by Neil AndersonThe Adversary by Mark BubeckSpiritual Warfare by Karl PayneThe Handbook For Spiritual Warfare by Ed Murphy And this link Gary mentioned in today's episode: Going Deeper In Understanding Spiritual Warfare
If we can help you in any way or you’d like to share how this podcast is encouraging you, feel free to shoot us an email at lockerroom@southland.church
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE S10E7: “Two Words: Your Enemy”
Who is your favorite movie or television villain (The Joker, Darth Vader, Green Thanos, Voldemort, etc.)? Why? Has anyone ever introduced you to the concept of spiritual warfare? If so, how did they describe it? What were your main takeaways? Satan (aka “the Devil” or “the Enemy”) has a number of descriptions listed throughout the Bible. If someone asked you to describe Satan, what words would you use? “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn’t exist.” -Charles Baudelaire. What are your thoughts on this statement? Are there any other misconceptions about Satan you’ve heard? Read John 10:10 and 1 Peter 5:8-10. Scripture is clear on what Satan’s intent is. What do we learn about him based on these two passages? Why is it critical for us to know our opposition? Read Genesis 3:1-7, Matthew 4:1-11, and John 8:44. Satan’s primary strategy has been consistent throughout the course of history. He creates confusion and division by planting seeds of doubt in our minds and in our hearts. However, Jesus shows us one of the most effective ways we combat Satan’s lies is with God’s truth. What lies has Satan tried to sell to you? What were the consequences of buying into these lies? Read 2 Corinthians 10:3-6. This passage highlights a sobering reality: As long as we’re alive, we’re in a fight whether we want to be or not. In light of this, how can we be more proactive than reactive when it comes to spiritual warfare? Which of the following has been the toughest battle for you spiritually during this season:
- Anger- Ego / Pride - Guilt / Shame- Hopelessness / Despair - Isolation- Misplaced identity (i.e. career, sports, etc.)- Passivity- Rejection- Temptation- Thought patterns- Unforgiveness Read Romans 8:35-39, 1 Corinthians 10:13, and Ephesians 2:11-22. These verses remind us that we fight from victory, rather than for victory. Why is this perspective so important for us as followers of Jesus? How should this change the way we engage with the world around us? What are some of the resources or tools we have available as we wage war with the Enemy? Prayer is arguably one of the most overlooked aspects of spiritual warfare. Print a copy of this “Armor of God” prayer based on Ephesians 6:10-20. Make a commitment to read through it and pray over it this week. Athletes and coaches are known for studying their opponents’ game film. For an interesting take on one author’s portrayal of what this looks like in the spiritual realm, grab a copy of C.S. Lewis’ classic book, The Screwtape Letters or listen to the audiobook.
Two Words: Be Accountable
We’ve each got a shot at moving beyond where we are and towards the men that God wants us to be—but we need a band of brothers—we need a couple guys. God wants us to step off the island and have some guys that we can count on. And there are guys that need to be able to count on us. We all need these relationships. Join us on this week’s podcast as Scott talks about being accountable.
Join us March 17-18 for Meal Pack! Across all five Southland campuses in partnership with Lifeline Christian Mission, we will pack one million meals to feed hungry kids around the world. All of the meals are distributed through Lifeline’s sites in countries like Honduras, Ecuador, Guatemala, and some countries in Africa. To be a part of this event, sign up at http://southland.church/mealpack
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE S10E6: Be Accountable
- Who’s the best classmate, teammate, or co-worker you’ve ever collaborated with? What did you appreciate the most about them?
- Who do you currently spend the most time with? How would you describe the dynamics of the relationship?
- What’s the difference between knowing someone vs. knowing about someone? What are some of the barriers you’ve personally experienced or witnessed that prevent men from getting beyond superficial conversations and relationships with other guys?
- Read Proverbs 27:17, Galatians 6:2, and James 5:16. Accountability is a Christ-centered relationship that encourages spiritual growth and transformation. There are a number of noteworthy examples throughout Scripture — Moses and Jethro (Exodus), David and Nathan (2 Samuel), Jesus and the disciples (Gospels), Paul and Timothy (1 & 2 Timothy) — just to name a few. What are the benefits of accountability?
- Read Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 and discuss the following quote: “If sin destroyed Samson (the strongest man), Solomon (the wisest man), and David (the man after God’s heart), then it can overpower, outsmart, and overcome you, too.” Why is it tempting for men to insist on pridefully living their lives as a solo mission? How can we practically help each other fight against this?
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Read Proverbs 11:2, James 1:19-20, and 1 Peter 5:5. Humility is the antidote to pride. It’s one thing to invite people into your life; it’s another thing to humbly receive what they have to say. Read and discuss the following humility inventory:
- When someone gives me feedback, what’s my knee-jerk reaction?
- How often do I consider the perspective of others?
- When’s the last time I’ve invited someone to teach me something?
- When’s the last time I’ve changed my mind about something?
- How willing am I to admit when I’m wrong? I
- How do I respond when corrected?
- Read Proverbs 11:14, 12:15, 15:22, 19:20-21, and 27:6. These verses speak to our need for wise counsel. Who are the voices you currently allow to speak into your life? Could you confidently and honestly classify their counsel as wise? What are the filters you use to determine if their counsel is wise?
- Grab 1 or 2 guys this week and work through each of these 5 questions: What’s God teaching you? Where are you winning? Where are you struggling? How are you leading? How can I pray for you? Schedule another time to meet again next week or the following week.
- If you’re not connected with other godly men, check out our groups directory at southland.church/groups to sign up or contact the person who oversees the Groups Ministry at your campus.
- Share this episode with at least 2-3 other guys in your sphere of influence.
Worship Jesus
We all worship something. We’re all worshippers. It just depends on who or what we worship.
For followers of Jesus, worship is our response—both personally and corporately—to God for who He is, and what He’s done; expressed by the things we say and the things we do—by the way we live our lives. This week Scott is joined by Mike Vandemark to talk about his heartbeat of using the gift of music to bring people together. Along the way we break down some of the nuts and bolts of how and why we worship at Southland.
Join us March 17-18 for Meal Pack!Across all five Southland campuses in partnership with Lifeline Christian Mission, we will pack one million meals to feed hungry kids around the world. All of the meals are distributed through Lifeline’s sites in countries like Hondorus, Ecuador, Guatemala, and some countries in Africa. To be a part of this event, sign up at http://southland.church/mealpack You can find all of the original songs by Southland Music at http://southland.church/music Scott and Mike also talked about the Lexington Lab Band project in this episode, you can check it out at https://www.youtube.com/@LexingtonLabBand
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE S10E5: “Two Words: Worship Jesus”
- Who are a few of your favorite music artists or bands? What’s one song you could listen to on repeat? 2. Do you play any instruments or sing? If not, what’s one instrument you’ve always wanted to learn how to play or your go-to karaoke song? 3. Has your taste in music evolved at all over the years? If so, how? 4. What’s one of your favorite contemporary worship songs? What resonates with you about this particular song? 5. What’s one of your favorite hymns? What resonates with you about this particular song? 6. Read Exodus 20:3-6. Although worshiping golden statues or other graven images is less prevalent today, idolatry still manifests in different forms. How would you define the relationship between idolatry and worship? 7. Read Romans 1:21-25 and 1 Corinthians 10:14. What are some of the ways you’ve found yourself or witnessed others idolizing created things instead of worshiping the Creator? Although Paul encourages us to flee idolatry, how do we typically respond when this is brought to our attention? What does this reveal at the heart level? 8. Read 2 Chronicles 5:13 and Psalm 98:1-7. What tends to grab your attention during worship services on Sundays? How are these different effects or elements meant to draw us closer to God? 9. Read Psalm 95:1-6 and Psalm 100:1-5. Joy, praise, shouting, and singing are recurring themes in these passages. Does worshiping during service on Sundays or other events (i.e. Men’s Conference, Worship Night, etc.) come naturally for you? Why or why not? 10. Read Colossians 3:15-17. God gave us His all and His best when He sent us His Son, Jesus. Worship is our response (personally and collectively) to God for who He is and what He’s done. This is expressed in what we say and do in all areas of life. Spend some time prayerfully considering what area(s) in your life you’ve been holding back with your faith. Ask God to give you the conviction and the courage to be more engaged.
Two Words: Life Change
Jesus didn’t just come to forgive and love us, but to free us, unburden and heal us. This week Scott sits down with Edgar Saborit to hear how deciding to follow Jesus has changed his life for the better.
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. - Ezekiel 36:26(NIV)
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE S10E4:
- Have you had an opportunity to travel outside of the country? If so, what’s been your favorite place to visit? If not, where would you like to go?
- What’s something in your life that’s changed over the past year? How do you typically respond to change (barber, job, moving, vehicles, etc.)? What factors have influenced the way you approach change?
- The phrase “Follow Me” appears over 20 times throughout the gospel accounts in the New Testament. What was the catalyst for you to begin following Jesus? How has following Jesus changed the relational dynamics within your sphere of influence (significant other, kids, friends, coworkers, etc.)? If you haven’t started following Jesus yet, what reservations are currently holding you back?
- Read Joshua 24:15 and Matthew 7:24-27. What’s the foundation you’re currently building for your family or future family?
- Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Although this passage is often recited at weddings, it’s worth noting these are some important character traits for men to lean into as we prepare for marriage and parenting or persevere in marriage and parenting. Would the people closest to you say you reflect these attributes? Which ones are an area of growth for you?
- Read Ephesians 5:22-33 and 1 Peter 3:7. From an eternal perspective, one day God will hold us accountable for how we’ve stewarded the lives of those He’s entrusted to us. What are the implications for men in terms of how we lead, love, and serve our significant others? How has your significant other played a role in your spiritual growth and development?
- Read Proverbs 18:22, Proverbs 19:14 and Proverbs 31:10, 30. Do you cherish and value your significant other? How can you intentionally pray for your significant other and with your significant other? If you’re single, how can you intentionally pray for your future spouse?
- Read Psalm 127:3-5, Proverbs 22:6, and Deuteronomy 6:5-9. Do you cherish and value your children? How can you intentionally pray for your kids and with your kids? If you’re single, how can you intentionally pray for your future children?
- Read 1 Corinthians 11:1. This is a bold statement from the apostle Paul. By God’s grace, Jesus’ example, and the power of the Holy Spirit, we can become the Christ-like men God desires for us to be so that we can be a Christ-like example for others. Here’s a sobering thought: What’s the type of man you want to be remembered for after your time on this earth is finished? What’s the legacy you want to leave?
- We all have someone in our circle who desperately needs the type of life transformation only Jesus can provide, but maybe they’re not ready to step foot inside of a church yet. Read, pray, and meditate on Ezekiel 36:26 and prayerfully consider who God is nudging you to share this podcast with, invite to your men’s group, or invite to church.
Two Words: Fine Print
This week we’re talking about the fine print of the Christian life.
If we’re not careful we can talk about faith in a way that sounds easy or irresistible—rainbows and unicorns—as if everything is just great all the time. It’s not true. The Bible doesn’t promise any of this.
This week’s episode is titled fine print; but not because God is hiding something from us or trying to speed past and hide all the side effects of being a Christ-follower. He doesn’t do that. The invitation that Jesus invites us into is incredible, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t come with hard things.
This season of Locker Room we're taking each week to talk about two words. Two words to drive our content and our discussion with different guests.
If you’re starting a Locker Room Group or simply having conversations with other men--your sons, your friends, or coworkers--our hope is to create some critical discussions about things that matter.
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE S10 E3: Two Words: Fine Print
- Are you the type of guy to read the “fine print” of an instructions booklet before assembling something or do you just “figure it out” without reading?
- Has there ever been a time when you didn’t read the fine print to something (contract, medication, product, service, etc.), and it cost you? What did you learn from the experience?
- Have you ever had a moment or a season where you felt like your walk with Jesus wasn’t “as advertised” and you found yourself angry, confused, discouraged, doubtful, or frustrated? What did God teach you in the process?
- Read Matthew 7:24-27. Jesus ends His most famous teaching known as the “Sermon on the Mount” by highlighting the two types of foundations we can build on. What’s noteworthy is both houses will inevitably face storms. What have the storms in your life (addiction, chronic illness, financial struggles, infertility, job loss, relationship strife, etc.) revealed about your foundation?
- Read Romans 5:3-5, James 1:2-4, and 1 Peter 1 3-7. How do these verses provide some perspective on the purpose of suffering and trials?
- Read Hebrews 11:1. How would you explain “faith” to someone who is not a follower of Jesus? The rest of Ch.11 lists what modern interpreters have referred to as the “Hall of Faith.” Which story of faith from the Old Testament resonates with you?
- Read Deuteronomy 31:8, Psalm 55:22, Psalm 103:8-12, Matthew 11:28-30, 1 Corinthians 10:13, Philippians 4:11-13, 1 John 5:14-15, and Revelation 21:4. These are 8 powerful promises worth bookmarking, highlighting, or converting to memory. Which one speaks to you? Why is it crucial for us to remember God’s promises in the midst of life’s storms?
- Read John 16:33 and 2 Peter 3:13. How do we manage the tension of living in between the cross and the crown or the “already and not yet”?
- Read Matthew 26:36-46. Jesus shows us during our most vulnerable moments, we need biblical community, honest prayer, an eternal perspective, and God’s peace. Which of these do you tend to lose sight of?
- Take some time to listen to the song “Anchor of Peace” by North Point Worship. Meditate on the lyrics this week.
"You're invited!"
When Jesus says you’re invited...he means it. He knows everything about us and yet he still pursues us. What is Jesus inviting us into? How do we respond?
Join us this week as we sit down with Jon Weece to talk about the greatest invitation we've been given. We'll dive into the steps to accept Jesus' invitation and celebrate how he redeems our stories to help reach others.
This season of Locker Room we're taking each week to talk about two words. Two words to drive our content and our discussion with different guests.
If you’re starting a Locker Room Group or simply having conversations with other men--your sons, your friends, or coworkers--our hope is to create some critical discussions about things that matter.
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE, S1E2 - “You’re Invited”
- Did your family members or friends give you a nickname? If so, what is it and how did you earn it?
- What’s the most recent event you’ve been invited to (ball game, concert, wedding, etc.)? What resonated with you about the experience?
- Who was the first person to invite you to church? How would you describe your first church experience?
- Read Matthew 16:24. Jesus gives an open invitation for anyone to follow Him with two qualifiers – denying ourselves and picking up our cross. Why are these two conditions listed first? What does this mean practically?
- Read Ephesians 2:8-9. These verses tell us that we are saved by grace through faith in Jesus. Why is it important to remind ourselves that we are not saved by our own works?
- Read Acts 2:37-39 and 2 Peter 3:9. When we hear the Gospel, our natural response should be to turn away from our former life and reorient ourselves to our new life in Christ. In light of God’s patience with us and promise for us, why do we tend to respond in rebellion instead of repentance?
- Read Romans 10:9-13. If you’ve done so, what led you to the decision to confess Jesus as your Savior and Lord? How has your life been different since making this decision?
- Read Matthew 3:13-17 and Acts 22:16. Jesus Himself demonstrates humility by being immersed in the waters of baptism. In the 1st century Church, we also see this sense of urgency to be baptized as a response to hearing the Gospel and obediently following the example of Jesus. If you have been baptized, what was your baptism experience like? If you have not been baptized, what questions or reservations have kept you out of the water?
- Read Romans 6:1-14. In this passage, Paul clarifies our relationship to sin in light of God’s grace. When we accept Jesus’ invitation through faith, repentance, confession, and baptism, we put habitual sin to death and walk in our new identity in Christ. How do we not abuse God’s grace? Why is it important for us to understand our new identity in Christ?
- Grab a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side, describe your new life in Christ. On the other side, write down what your life would be like without Jesus. Use this resource as a tool to help you craft your testimony as you share what Jesus has done in your life with others.
"What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us."--A. W. Tozer If you were asked to describe Jesus in two words, what would it be? It’s a great question, right? It’s very telling of what we know or understand about who He is.
We're kicking off this season of Locker Room by taking each week to talk about 2 Words. Each week we’ll have two words that drive our content and drive our discussion with different guests. In this episode, we'll focus in on two words to describe Jesus: Warrior and King.
If you’re starting a Locker Room Group or simply having conversations with other men--your sons, your friends, or coworkers--our hope is to create some critical discussions about things that matter.
LOCKER ROOM DISCUSSION GUIDE, S10E1: Warrior King
- If your family or your friends were to introduce you to someone new, what two words would they use to describe you?
- Who first introduced you to Jesus? What picture was painted to describe Him?
- What was your initial perception of Jesus? Has your view of Him evolved over time? If so, how?
- What two words would you use to describe Jesus today? Why did you choose these specific words?
- How would you define a “warrior”? Who are some of the examples that come to mind?
- Read Romans 5:6-11 and Isaiah 53:4-5. How do these passages highlight Jesus as a warrior?
- How would you define a “king”? What attributes of a king would lead to submission under their authority?
- Read Revelation 17:14 and Revelation 19:11-16. How do these passages highlight Jesus as king?
- Look up the lyrics to the song “King of Kings” by Hillsong. Which lines resonate with you in light of Jesus being both warrior and king? Why?
- Has this conversation changed your view of who Jesus is? If so, how?
What does the future hold for Locker Room podcast? Some changes are on the horizon. Full details revealed in this episode--featuring Scott Nickell and Scott Hatfield.
We're going to settle it. You've heard them talk about it in the podcast, and In this bonus episode of Locker Room we take a break from the serious stuff for a throwdown between friends on the course. Nickell and Vandee, Hatfield and Austin Vitucci hit the course at Shilltto Park on a warm fall day to find out who is the best. Neil Gregory was there to film as it all went down. Now back in the studio, the guys break down the day and discuss other such weighty topics.
You can watch the match in all its glory at lockerroompodcast.com
How can I become a more engaged father? What are some tips for raising godly boys? How can I have a meaningful conversation with my son?
In this special episode of Locker Room, Scott welcomes Kent Evans to the podcast. Kent is an author and co-founder of Manhood Journey, a ministry that helps fathers and mentors build the next generation of godly men.
You can find more resources from Manhood Journey at https://manhoodjourney.org
Nearly 2000 men came together on August 28, to be built up and prepared to step into where God is calling us. Tune in with Scott Nickell & Hatfield for an extended breakdown of topics discussed and ways to move forward.
On this special bonus episode of Locker Room podcast Scott sits down with three former players from the University of Kentucky Men's Basketball team.
Josh Carrier, JP Blevins and Ravi Moss share stories of what it was like on the inside during their time wearing the blue and white, including lessons learned and how to build your life and your identify in Christ and not based on what you do.
As we wrap up this season of listener-submitted questions, Neil Gregory is back on the podcast to discuss one of the biggest questions many Jesus followers ask, "How do you know you're following Christ and His will for your life?"
Stay tuned for a bonus episode of Locker Room coming up next week with some special guests...
In this season of Locker Room we're answering your submitted questions.
Scott and Jon are back this week to hit this week's question: What are the top three things dads should be doing to help our young ones in their faith journey?
Have a good question you want us to answer during this season? Drop your questions at lockerroompodcast.com
In this season of Locker Room we're answering your submitted questions.
Jon Weece is back on the podcast to help answer this question: "I would love to hear about the history of the church from its leaders, specifically the origins of Southland and how we got to where we are, but also how that relates to the general history of the early Church in Acts."
Have a good question you want us to answer during this season? Drop your questions at lockerroompodcast.com
In this season of Locker Room we're answering your submitted questions. Our question this week: How can I as a young guy mature in my faith? What are some practical ways to practice humility and take a posture of learning, in order to mature in Christ? Scott is joined by Connor Hall this week to discuss this question from the perspectives of two guys in different stages of life.
Have a good question you want us to answer during this season? Drop your questions at lockerroompodcast.com
In this season of Locker Room we're answering your submitted questions. Scott welcomes Neil Gregory to the podcast to discuss this question:
How do we tune out the distractions of modern society--social media, video games, smart phones and the 24-hour news cycle--and where do we draw the line between removing ourselves and our families from these activities, versus choosing to take part in them to engage with others in a positve and meaningful way?
Have a good question you want us to answer during this season? Drop your questions at lockerroompodcast.com
In this season of Locker Room we're answering your submitted questions. Jon Weece joins Scott this week to hit this question:
How do you balance a healthy sex relationship in a Christian marriage when each person has different levels of desire and expectations?
Have a good question you want us to answer during this season? Drop your questions at lockerroompodcast.com
For this season of Locker Room we're answering your submitted questions. Scott Hatfield is back this week to break down this question:
Why does the Church shy away from discussions around sexuality?
Have a good question you want us to hit during this season? Drop your questions at lockerroompodcast.com
For this season of Locker Room we're answering your submitted questions. This week Scott kicks off with guest Mike Vandemark to break down this question:
Is there a biblical case for adult men to pursue hobbies? With so many God-given responsibilities, how does one justify time spent on self?
Have a good question you want us to hit during this season? Drop your questions at lockerroompodcast.com
You've got questions? We've got answers! Be apart of the next season of the Locker Room Podcast by heading to Lockerroompodcast.com and submitting your questions today.
In this episode we take a break from the hot-button topics of this season to enjoy some lighthearted banter and hot takes in the point/counterpoint style with guests Mike Vandemark and Scott Hatfield.
Below are all of the questions that Scott asked in the podcast. Pick 2-3 from each category to discuss with your group.
- What are the benefits of talking about things like this? What do we learn about one another? Is it a waste of time?
- How often do you get together with friends to just be together and have fun?
- Could you benefit from doing it more often? How so?
- How does all of this play into our life and ministry? Does any of this have any benefit for ministry or daily living for Christ?
Sports:
- Is golf a sport or a game?
- Which of the big 3 sports would you prefer to watch live and in person?
- The college football championship should just be called the SEC championship, true or false?
- Kobe or Michael Jordan? MJ or Lebron?
- 1996 Wildcats vs. 1991 UNLV Runnin' Rebels, who's better?
Movies:
- The Matrix - overrated or underrated?
- If you had to pick between Steven Segal and Craig T. Nelson to play the lead role in every movie, which one would you pick?
- Dumb and Dumber or Tommy Boy?
- Shawshank Redemption or Braveheart?
- Better actor: Martin Lawrence or Eddie Murphy?
Music:
- Better Rock Band? AC/DC or Led Zeppelin?
- True or False, Rapper's Delight is a terrible rap song?
- You're on a deserted island and you can listen to only Journey or only Bon Jovi, what do you choose?
- You are doing Karaoke and you can choose between performing Bohemian Rhapsody or the Humpty Dance?
- Who wins in a fight, Tony Bennett or Willie Nelson?
One of the challenges for us as men, especially when we assume the role of provider, protector, and any vocational callings, is knowing when it is time to leave one thing and move on to the next thing in our lives. In this episode Scott Hatfield returns to the podcast to reflect on these moments of change and how to discern best what's next.
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How do you know when it’s time to move on? To leave one thing and move to the next thing? How have you filtered those questions at different points in your life?
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Hatfield found himself in a conversation that turned into an interview. Have you ever been in a situation or conversation that was pivotal in your work and/or calling?
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We all need mentors; people who are ahead of us on the journey and pour their experience into us. Who is that for you? If you don’t have a mentor, who might you ask to be that person for you?
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Whose work, life, or ministry do you look up to or admire from afar? Pray and ask God for the opportunity to grab some time with that person. Can you reach out to schedule an appointment through their admin, or offer to buy them coffee or a meal?
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“Quit looking over the fence. There is fruit in longevity.” Evaluate your own life and your current position based on this quote. How’s it going?
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Hatfield recounts seasons of being entrusted with everything and seasons of being entrusted to lead nothing. How have you seen God work in seasons of much and seasons of little? How has it directly impacted decisions about what to do, and where to stay or go?
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Sometimes simple difficulty is not the best filter for deciding whether it’s time to move on. What are some other critical elements that need to be in the decision-making process as well?
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Have you ever been drawn toward something that seemed like the right idea for you but you learned it wasn’t God’s idea? Did you realize that before or after a move was made?
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What do you sense God asking you to do that you need to bring to Him in prayer for further clarity and guidance?
Deconstruction is a word used frequently in regard to people who are 'deconstructing their faith.' Sometimes at the end of this process, people end up denying their faith altogether. Usually the first stop on this journey of deconstruction is 'Progressive Christianity.' In this episode, Scott breaks down some of the main drivers of the progressive Christian movement, and talks about how we equip ourselves to call others home by being immersed in scripture while simultaneously understanding our culture.
The four books referenced at the end of this episode:
Another Gospel? by Alisa Childers
The Gathering Storm by Albert Muller
That Hideous Strength: How the West Was Lost by Melvin Tinker
A Grand Illusion by David Young
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Have you experienced the idea of “Deconstruction” in the way society views it today? Is there a sense of tension when you hear the ideas of Deconstruction and Progress in the same ideology
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When you think of Progressive Christianity, do you feel uncertain what the Progression is actually moving towards? If not, reflect on what aspects of Christianity deserve or require a modern advancement. Is there anything?
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Scott talks about two drivers behind the Progressive Christian movement: Having a seat at the cool kids table and the opportunity to have sex with someone who you’re not married to. How do those ideas strike you? Agree or disagree—and why?
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Scott throws out that he doesn’t agree with the label of Progressive Christianity because it isn’t Christianity. Instead he calls it Progressive Spirituality. What are the pitfalls that Progressivity has opened to the Christian faith that can result in loss of Christianity and a movement toward general Spirituality?
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Do you agree that compassion and concern for social justice which removes Jesus from the equation is a reflection of a doubt that Jesus is who He says He is? How do we advocate for these concerns while also reflecting that Jesus is who He says He is?
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Do you share the idea that the most tolerant in society are typically the most intolerant?
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Scott references Romans 1… what were your thoughts and how does it apply to the Progressive movement and the general worldview today?
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Do you sense the issues that Scott references are occurring due to the breakdown of relational norms and standards? If so, how have you seen that in your day-to-day life?
Fear isn't a sin, but our response to it can be. Sometimes we have to march forward even though we are afraid.
In this episode, we talk about pursuing a sound and healthy mind by saturating our thoughts in the word of God instead of the headlines.
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Scott shared his thoughts about all the talk about the virus. Where are you at with the conversation about COVID? Are you tired, afraid, something else
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As a whole, we seem to have no goals or target or clear objective when it comes to dealing with COVID, and without that limiting principle we're looking at ongoing and changing restrictions. Some people fear the virus, others are more concerned with the government's response. Where do you land on that spectrum and why?
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Whether it's the current era or earlier in life, in what ways have you seen fear become a controlling force in your experience?
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After World War II, the new reality of the atomic bomb created a growing fear of the potential for destruction. C.S. Lewis landed with a conclusion that we are live in a world that constantly presents danger, whether we are aware or not. He said we ought to, in response, be found "doing sensible things like praying, working, teaching, reading, playing, or chatting with our friends, not huddled together like frightened sheep..." What might this solution accomplish? How might you implement it in your life, family, relationships?
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Fear isn't sin, but it's a breeding ground for sin. Our response to fear is of the biggest concern. Take a look at 2 Timothy 1:7. Paul suggested that the pursuit of a sound and healthy mind is the antidote to fear. In what ways do we pursue things that end with fear? How could we align, instead, with this scripture in 2 Timothy?
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Scott suggested that, whether you are doing it mindlessly or intentionally, stop seeking out news that feeds fear. In what ways have you seen the media create fear? What does the media gain from promoting fear?
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Scott also nudged us to connect with people who aren't fearful. How can this help us to also leave fear behind? Do you know someone who fits this description? Make a plan to connect with them and talk about this topic.
Why in the last decade, has the diagnosis "gender dysphoria" transformed from a vanishingly rare affliction, applying almost exclusively to boys and men, to an epidemic among teenage girls?
We are all disordered in some way because of sin - we all have sins and struggles and thoughts and feelings that don't correspond to truth and reality. Our challenge is not to conform to the patterns of this world but to be transformed by the renewing of our mind (Romans 12:2)
In this episode, Scott reads and reflects from Irreversible Damage: the Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters, by Abigail Shrier.
1) What did you think about Scott’s opening analogy about a girl going to the doctor for anorexia, where the doctor affirmed all of her thinking that she was in fact fat, even though she was severely underweight by medical standards? Do you think this is a good analogy for the issue of gender dysphoria, and what is currently happening in our culture?
2) Scott pointed out that in Abigail Shrier’s book “Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing our Daughters”, she says that before 2012, there was no scientific literature on girls (ages 11-21) ever experiencing gender dysphoria. Before that, it affected .01 percent of the entire population, and that number was nearly exclusively boys. Why do you think there is this explosion of talk about this issue and apparently people experiencing it in the last several years?
3) In the book, Shrier offers some thoughts about why this shift in identifying as transgender is happening. She mentioned that it’s mostly upper-middle-class white girls and that they may be trying to carve out a niche of rebellion or be able to identify as minorities. What do you think about that? Agree? Disagree? Why?
4) She also said that many of these kids come from progressive families, raised with few walls, so they hunt for barriers to knock down. Have you seen this happening with your own children? Children/teenagers/young adults you know? What do you think they really are looking for? What do they need?
5) She also mentions our modern-day obsession with mental health. Medicating everyone toward the optimal level of happiness. Is this dangerous? Are we shooting ourselves in the foot by not allowing people to just deal with tough emotions? Where does that lead us if we continue that pattern of just looking for a quick fix to treat our “symptoms”?
6) Have you ever thought about how you would handle it if one of your children voiced that they identify as a different gender? It’s easy to point fingers and judge from a far-off perspective, but what if it happened to you? What do you do? What truths from scripture would you rely on in helping?
How does the world around us handle sin, offenses and shortcomings? How should we as Christ-followers handle the presence of sin in our world? Should we join in the stone-throwing?
In this episode we'll explore how we must address the sin in our own lives, and then we can help our brother and sister out.
- Scott starts off our discussion today with an example of the way our cultural model tells us to handle perceived injustices or infractions. Have you seen situations where this model has played out? Were the outcomes positive or negative?
- The current model of dealing with faults is described as a four step process. Which step do you feel pushes a conversation or interaction towards hopelessness the most?
- Narratives are mentioned several times in our discussion, what narratives are you struggling to navigate, or which have you encountered recently? How can we redeem these narratives?
- Christians have started to follow the path of culture in virtue-signalling and cancelling, almost as a knee-jerk reaction or as retribution for what they perceive as cancelling towards Christianity. What aspects of the way culture handles these situations can entrap a Christian?
- Matthew 7 and John 3:17 illustrate the way God views unchecked judgemental behavior, and 1 Corinthians 13 illustrates His model for love and grace. How can we use these ideas to create a new model for dealing with perceived injustices?
- Jesus tells us to start with our own hearts, and some have asserted that Christians jump onto the piling-on method in order to avoid facing their own sins. What sins are you downplaying or refusing to address? Do you ever find yourself lashing out at others due to the frustration those sins bring?
- Scott says God didn’t move on after addressing our sin, He moved IN. Reflecting on this, how can we move IN when someone is on the receiving end of society’s model for confronting wrongdoings?
In this week's episode we wrap up our discussion on race: responding instead of reacting, and how as Christ-followers, the ball is in our court.
1) What is your understanding of “intersectionality”? How does looking through the lens of intersectionality affect interactions with people? How has it affected conversations in your experience, recently or in the past?
2) Why do you believe so many churches are recently prioritizing diversity as their main mission? What do you think the mission of the church should be? What does the Bible have to say about that mission?
3) Ariea said, “It would do your church no good to be diverse with all different types of ethnicity and no one saved.” Is there anything in your life that you are striving for in place of bringing people to Jesus?
4) Rod stated, “Fear stands for: False Evidence Appearing Real.” What is appearing real to you that is causing you to be afraid? What’s true and what’s false in the way you’re processing this situation/threat in your world? Identify the “false evidence” and take a moment to intentionally choose to reject the lies. Share your commitment with your group or a trusted friend.
5) Is there anyone in your life who has permission to challenge you even if the challenge is offensive?
6) Who can you ask to mentor you? Is there someone you can speak life into?
This week's episode picks up where we left off with Ariea, Rod, and Scott discussing race and how we as Christ followers can approach reconciliation.
1) When you hear “Solution for Racism” what emotions are stirred up? Do you feel like the conversation will be a positive or a negative one? Will the conversation be civil?
2) Scott Ariea and Rod discuss their solution for racism—fathers in the house and strong male leadership. Rod says that you need examples of how to Look, Live and Love like Jesus as a youth growing up. How might a community transform when there are examples of male leadership in households?
3) In the discussion we hear a call back to the thought that: “We are most helpful to the world when we look least like the world”. Do you find it hard to avoid looking like the world when discussing issues of large concern like race? Does this difficulty stem from a disconnect between how things are handled for world concerns versus spiritual concerns? If so, how?
4) Rod tells us a story from his past and that he told his football team. “You gotta do your best, regardless of if I do my best.” Do you hear the argument that certain crimes are way more prevalent, like “white on black” or “black on black”? Have you found yourself or people in your life falling into the trap of “if they improve I will improve,” or, “if they’d improve the other side of the situation would improve”?
5) You have to understand the necessity of the cross before you can understand or get involved in reconciliation. Review Ephesians 2:11-22. Through a lens of trying to mend racism, what new takeaways did you find in this passage?
6) Scott, Ariea, and Rod agree: Critical Race Theory is a worldview focusing on the oppressed becoming the oppressor. Critical Race Theory is also described as an attempt to fix a sin problem with a sin problem. Do you agree that the endgame for CRT sees the oppressed becoming the oppressor? Can a solution borne out of a sinful world mend a heart-problem like racism?
7) The guys say that changing the law, changing context, and pushing theories does not change a racist heart; only Jesus changes a racist heart. How can we take this to task in our own lives and ask Jesus to start changing the prejudiced hearts around us?
In this episode Scott sits down with friends Ariea King and Rod Butler to discuss the subject of race: how it has shaped our lives and how we as Christ followers can move forward.
1) The guys provided their definitions of racism early in this episode. How would you define racism?
2) What, do you believe, is really the root problem behind racism? What is it that people are scared of, insecure about, or just don’t understand that makes them view people of a different race as anything less than themselves?
3) Have you ever experienced racism, or have you ever come to the realization that some of your thoughts and beliefs might be what some would consider racist? This is a question that requires us to be very transparent, self-aware, and to have humility. Who can share?
4) The guys had a conversation about how not all black people have the same experience just based on the color of their skin. How did that conversation strike you? Where do we need to allow for more diversity of thought and experience? Should our race even play into the discussion?
5) Rod talked about how a lot of white people reached out to him in the wake of some of the events and racial tensions over the last year or so. He mentioned that some of that came across as “virtue signaling”. Virtue signaling means it is more about the person asking the question than it is about the person answering the question. How can we be more proactive when it comes to understanding people’s differences?
6) As Christians, people should be able to look to us as peace-makers—and as people who are empathetic and compassionate. Often, we don’t set the example or set the pace when it comes to leading well through misunderstandings and tensions. What is something you can commit to doing to help you grow as someone who can lead well through things like racial tension?
7) The Bible has some strong words about hate. In your Bible app on your phone, do a search for the word “hate” and read some of the search results together. Do the same with the word “love”, recognizing that there are no conditions to God’s love, and that His expectation is for us to love people the way He loves us!
Jon joins Scott to reflect on the topics we've covered this season and lessons learned from his own marriage.
- Marriage and parenting teach us a ton. But especially help us grow to be selfless in a way nothing else can. Why do you think this is true? How have you experienced this kind of transformation in your life?
- Marriage is a visible demonstration of the love of God for people. Marriage apart from the picture of Christ and His bride isn’t going to find fulfillment. How can we intentionally pursue this biblical picture of marriage?
- Which of Jon’s tips for building a strong marriage have been helpful to you? Which do you want or need to pursue? Take your time and learn from older couples. Pray a lot. Serve together. Invest in the church. Be realistic with financial expectations. Work on conflict resolution. Invest in relationships with a few other couples.
- What is it about sharing a meal together with the people we love that transforms us? How does it build your family’s relationships? What is accomplished by sharing this space?
- In the Bible, the Book of Psalms is like a medicine cabinet. If you need words to express your emotion or feeling, you can find it there. Share how God’s words have helped you express emotions, whether they’ve been painful or joy-filled. What are you walking through in this season that could use help from the Psalms to express in words?
- God chose us. Handpicked us. Adopted us into His family. Adoption is a theme in the NT. If God did that for us, He’d want that for all of us. How can churches help even more families adopt? How could you help personally, financially and otherwise?
- Considering divorce? Apologize. Forgive. Own what you did. Give it time. Build and rebuild trust. You may have biblical grounds for divorce, but you’re not required to take this step. Where can you reach out for help?
- Remember: Everyone in your family is going to die eventually. Prepare as you’re able but it’s never going to be easy. The marriage vow, “In sickness and in health,” reminds us to enjoy what we have today. How can you actively and verbally express your gratitude for the people in your life today?
- Resilience is something this world needs; the ability to stand in the face of sickness, difficulty, loss. Two are better than one; two becoming one. There’s a strength and joy infused into your life when two people are faithful to Him and to each other. Take time to craft a clear statement of your intent to be faithful… in your marriage, friendships, parenting, work… everywhere. Share with your group via email this week.
Scott Hatfield returns for this episode of Locker Room to talk about those important words many of us have said in our vows, "...in sickness and in health."
Scott and his wife Sarah have walked through many tough seasons over the 27 years of their marriage.
- Everyone has a unique story about how they met their wife. Share your story or, if not married, where you’re at in the journey toward marriage.
- Hatfield was led by God to make some decisions relationally that paved the way for his marriage to Sarah. How do prayer, worship, and God’s word feed into your own relational world?
- As you heard Hatfield share his story, which parts of their “adventures together” resonated most to encourage, challenge, or inspire you?
- Sarah jokes that she was in great health and perfect condition before she and Scott met. They quickly faced challenges that required faithfulness to their vow: “In sickness and in health.” How has this vow, or another wedding vow, been a challenge and/or an anchor in your life?
- Both Nickell and Hatfield compiled a list of “learnings” from going through challenges and hard times: We’re more selfish than we know; If we could change it we would; Sometimes it takes counseling; The church is an amazing family; The husband is called to be Jesus to his bride. Which of them are lessons you have learned? Which ones do you want or need to learn?
- Hatfield shared several great bits of advice for thriving in marriage. Which of these do you sense God wants you to implement in your marriage? Worship together; Leave it all on the field; Do what it takes; Don’t hit the eject button; Lay down your expectations.
- How do you need to ask God to work in you, your life, your relationships, and/or your marriage this week? Do that now.
Kevin Comp joins Scott on this episode of Locker Room to share his story. Kevin was married and divorced early in life and went on to work through pain, forgiveness and redemption.
Kevin serves as the Campus Pastor for Southland's Georgetown location. He has been married to his wife Stacey for 21 years and they have 3 children.
- Kevin mentioned that Middle School age is a very formative time. What were the positive and negative influences on your life in Middle School that had long-lasting effects?
- Kevin mentioned that being a “workaholic” was really an excuse to hide from his leadership role at home. How does that quote resonate with you? What other leadership roles might we tend to hide from?
- Bob Cherry took Kevin out to lunch after his divorce and showed him grace. Who has shown you grace in some of your lowest moments?
- Have you ever wrestled with the tension of knowing God’s grace covers others but having trouble believing it to be true about yourself?
- Have you ever felt like God was “done with you”? How can we go deeper with our understanding of God’s grace and unlimited power over our past and for our future?
- What is an area of your life or a relationship you have that needs restoration?
- How has God grown and matured your faith in Him over the years? What were the ups and downs of that journey?
- How can the group be praying for you this week?
In this episode, Scott sits down with Nathan Head and Jason Eaton to discuss how their marriages and families have grown through choosing to adopt.
- How did you and your spouse meet? How long have you been married? Do you have kids? If so how many?
- For those with kids: Did you always want kids? For those without kids: How many kids do you want? What are your thoughts, fears, excitements about having kids?
- How does hearing Nate and Jason talk about their adoption processes shed light on the power of what the Bible says about God adopting us into His family?
- Scott mentioned the C.S. Lewis quote, “All love involves risk.” How has this been true in your marriage? In your parenting?
- Going through the adoption process requires radical dependence upon God for everything. What are you currently needing to radically depend on God for?
- Nate mentioned “the adversity you face will make you stronger because it becomes a bond of intimacy that otherwise would not be created.” How has this been true for you in regards to marriage and parenting?
On this episode Austin Ketron joins Scott to talk about what it looks like to build a marriage out of the rubble of addiction and recovery.
Austin and Monique have been married for 8 years and have four children, and now focus on building into their family and helping others.
- Austin was very transparent and vulnerable about his past and struggles. Do you feel like you have a safe place to be known? Or do you feel like you have to pretend and manage your image? Have you ever worried about being found out as a fraud?
- How have you struggled with addiction? Whether it be alcohol, substance, sex, pornography, greed, etc. Where do you stand in recovery? And what did that process look like?
- God often works in ways we never imagined. Share some of those with the group.
- At some moments, it can be hard to see God’s hand and provision. But years later it can be very obvious. Where have you seen God’s faithfulness in your past to bring about healing and wholeness?
- How do you wrestle with the tension of being at a weak moment, while still performing and executing daily responsibilities?
- What does your daily prayer and time in the Bible look like?
- How can this group help you the most with keeping you accountable while encouraging you to pursue Jesus in all things?
James joins Scott for this episode to share his story.
James and his wife Lauren had just married, returned from a honeymoon and were settling into life together when everything changed in the blink of an eye.
- Where was your first date and how did it go? How long was it before you knew you were going to marry your spouse?
- Did you ask your father-in-law for permission to marry his daughter? If so, how did that conversation go?
- What is the scariest moment you have ever had with your spouse? Have you ever been in a situation where you thought either of your lives were in danger?
- James mentioned the power of Jeff’s presence when he stayed overnight with him after Lauren passed away. Share a time you were blessed by a friend in a tough season.
- Were you the kid in the family who resonated with the “prodigal son” or were you the older brother?
- James mentioned how grief is like waves on the ocean: the ups and the downs, but that, over time, you remember less of the bad and more of the good. What has been your journey with grief? How has God's presence and power helped you heal?
- James talked about how he partnered with God in Lauren’s restoration process. How has your spouse helped you in your restoration process? How have you helped your spouse in theirs?
- Who is someone you know that’s going through a hard time? How might you reach out to to be a lifeline for them?
Gary and his wife Linda have been married for 47 years. On this episode, Gary shares memorable moments and wisdom he has learned over many years from both his own marriage and counseling married couples.
- Tell your group the story of your first date.
- Marriage is a journey not a destination. Share some of your journey—the highs and the lows—with everyone. What image would you use to explain where you are at on your journey?
- How do you resonate with the thought of marriage being a “box” to check off?
- “If you don't like what your wife is, consider what you have done to help her become that?”
- How do you express to your wife that you cherish and value her? What is your favorite thing about your spouse?
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your understanding of your spouse? How well do you think they would say they understand you?
- Who, if anyone, ever shared biblical wisdom about what it means to be a godly husband with you?
- “Listens a lot, corrects little, cares deeply.” Would your spouse say these of you? What prevents you from embodying these for your wife?
- “Don't change partners, change yourself.” If you don't understand what that looks like, how can we help you figure that out?
In this episode, Scott sits down with Chapman Bean to talk about life in a new marriage.
- Why is non-sexual intimacy something many men are not good at in marriage? How do you struggle with intimacy and vulnerability in your marriage (and other relationships)?
- Sex is one of the most complicated aspects of marriage, and it oftens goes unaddressed, with no time, thought, or conversation given to it. Why is it embarrassing for men to be honest about their sex lives?
- What is the personality-makeup of your marriage in terms of extroversion and introversion? How has Jesus redeemed the pros and cons of these in your relationship?
- How has Jesus sustained your love and commitment for your spouse?
- How do you and your spouse navigate what and who is a priority in your lives?
- What are unhealthy characteristics you see in some marriages? What about healthy characteristics? How do you see yourself growing in the healthy areas?
- What is the most obvious way Jesus is growing you as a husband in this season?
There's a path God provides for men to take on responsibility and humbly steward it; a path that has a home - a place where you belong, and people you belong with. And it is good.
1) If you’re married, how old were you when you got married? What led you to marry at that age? If single, what has led you to be single to this point?
2) Scott mentioned that nothing in your life will help you become more like Jesus and learn self sacrifice than marriage and having children. How does marriage and parenting show us God’s design for His creation? How does this show us what God values most?
3) In the Bible children are viewed as having immense value and being a huge blessing. How does this differ from what culture tells us about having kids? In what ways does this challenge you?
4) There is a path to manhood that consists of self-sacrifice. Why do you think God designed it this way? Why do you think so many men today resist or delay the journey down that path?
5) What areas of our culture and communities do you see being most devastated from the absence of mature, godly men?
6) How does Jesus reveal manhood in its purest form? How does this challenge you? What is one area of your journey to manhood that Jesus is sanctifying right now?
The family, the church, and government--three institutions of authority living in tension with one another.
In this episode Scott explores the context of Romans 13 and how we can remain faithful to Jesus with a clear biblical worldview on authority.
1) Would people label you as too political or not political enough? Why would they think that?
2) Who do you receive more attacks from: The "left" or the "right"? How come?
3) Read Romans 13:1-7. Check out multiple versions if possible. What observations stick out?
4) How have you wrestled in the past with the tension between government and God? What are some decisions you have had to make where you were obedient to God when the government overstepped?
5) What does the phrase “Jesus is King,” mean to you in this season? How has this affected the decisions you have been making?
6) What are some ways that you need to grow your Biblical Worldview? What avenues and resources help you the most in growing in your knowledge of Jesus and the Bible?
"...Until we see ourselves and each other as God sees us, and respond with an intentional embrace of his oneness, we will forever ring flat in a world that longs to hear the liberating cadence of truth."
In today's episode Scott reads from and reflects ond Oneness Embraced by Tony Evans.
Tony is the senior pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, TX.
- What comes to mind when you hear the word “Oneness?” What do you envision when you think about racial oneness? How have you seen the discussion and the reality of racial oneness embraced in your local community change over time?
- Tony Evans says racism still exists because the church, which is the most qualified to talk about racial reconciliation, has not addressed its root. How has the root of racism been addressed at churches you’ve been part of throughout your life?
- “Cognitive Dissonance” is defined as holding contradicting views simultaneously. What contradicting views do you hold or struggle with currently?
- “Authentic oneness comes from the outgrowth of our shared lives, not simply through a cross-cultural experience here and there.” How are you sharing life experiences with different people?
- “Oneness is the preeminent vehicle that God displays His power and presence and also His glory.” How are you embodying oneness throughout your week?
- “People struggle with reconciling spiritual beliefs with social realities.” How has this been true for you this past year?
- Who are people in your weekly life that are different from you—racially, socially, or economically—that you might take the opportunity to shake their hand and invite them into a dialogue to learn about them and their heritage?
- How do you contribute to racial division in your church? How do you contribute to racial reconciliation within your church? How about within the specific row in which you sit every week?
"Our greatest challenge as men is to carry our assigned weight. Carrying our weight means doing the things only we can do--the things for which we are responsible..."
In this episode Scott reads from The Heroic Path: In Search Of The Masculine Heart by John Sowers.
- Why do you like or dislike to read? What ways to you prefer to be informed or inspired? What is the best book you’ve ever read?
- Who played the most significant role in your life, shaping what you believe manhood to be?
- “Men stand tallest when they stand for others.” Who are you standing for? Who is standing for you?
- What “weight” are you carrying that is the heaviest in this season?
- What tempts you most to stall out?
- What or who encourages you the most?
- How have you grown the most in your journey into manhood?
We pick up from our last episode, continuing conversation on leading teams with Scott Hatfield and Mike Vandemark.
- “Calling” isn't power, it is submission. How do you use your calling to elevate others?
- A lack of trust will crumble any team. How well do you trust others? How well do others trust you?
- Do you listen to those you lead more than you talk or coach them?
- The best example of courageous leadership is saying you’re sorry and that you were wrong. How willing are you to apologize?
- Security as a leader is key in being able to take push-back or critique. Where are you the most secure and insecure as a leader?
In this episode Scott circles up with Mike Vandemark and Scott Hatfield - two Southland staff guys with years of experience leading teams.
- The guys talked about how they have grown and struggled in the process of becoming better leaders. What areas of leadership have been a struggle for you in the past? How have you grown the most over the past two years?
- “My way isn't always the best way.” In what areas, topics, or ways do you struggle to admit this?
- There is a huge difference between having a conversation with someone and telling them all the ways they are wrong and you are right. What strategies do you use to ensure the give and take of mutual conversation?
- Empathy is key in leadership. How do you fare in empathizing with people who are different from you?
- Do you always have to win an argument? What hills are you willing to die on?
Scott sits down with former Kentucky basketball player Ravi Moss to talk life, faith journey and memories from his time in UK hoops.
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What was your favorite UK basketball team of all time? Who is your favorite UK basketball player of all time?
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Ravi mentioned that ending up at Kentucky was a part of God’s journey for him. What have been some aspects of your path that you can look back on and see God’s hand at work?
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Scott and Ravi sat down and had a heart-to-heart talk. Who do you need to sit down and have a conversation with? What do you need to talk about?
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Ravi mentioned “getting it right” is what is important, not to “be right”. How do you struggle with this in life, work, marriage, friendships, parenting?
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“Attitude reflects leadership.” How does your attitude reflect the leadership above you? How does your family's attitude reflect your leadership?
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Where are you at right now with your faith journey?
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How is Jesus using you to bring about reconciliation in race relations in this season?
How to be a reasonable man living in unreasonable times.
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Scott said, hands down, the best movie of all time is “The Godfather”. What is your favorite movie of all time and why?
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How are you bothered, if at all, by those who think and speak things that you perceive as unreasonable?
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What are some popular beliefs held by many today that fall in the “unreasonable” category?
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Read Philippians 4:5. Depending on the translation you’re reading, Paul says to be reasonable, gentle, or considerate to everyone. Who are the people or groups of people that you struggle to respond to in this way?
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You cannot make people be reasonable, but you can be reasonable. How does this play out in a practical way?
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What challenges you or can be a stumbling block in the way of being reasonable? What aids you in being characterized as reasonable?
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Are you known as a reasonable man in these “unreasonable” times?
Courtney Love sits down with Scott for this episode of the podcast.
Courtney serves as Director of Player Development for University of Kentucky Football and played 2 seasons with the Wildcats (2016-2017) after transferring from Nebraska.
Discussion Questions:
1) Courtney is the Director of Player Development for UK Football. He was a 2yr starter and team captain, won the award for college football's top community servant, and helped set the tone and culture for UK's football program's success. He's no stranger to the locker room! What do you remember most about his playing career? 2) When sharing his favorite football memory he didn't talk about the fumble recovery on Lamar Jackson or victory over Louisville, instead, he talked about the practice the week before. Why did he pick that? What does that say about his character? 3) Though he was very successful athletically, Courtney always knew that his identity was not in sports. What did he share about his childhood that helped him know that? How did his college roommates help hold him accountable to that? 4) His father was huge on character, core values, and discipline. He once told Courtney', "If you have a party that's only for the "popular kids" I'm going to shut it down" because he wanted him to always think about how he could help others. Read Luke 14:15-24, what kind of people were at the party described there? 5) When Courtney interacts with people he is thinking: How can I serve you? How can I add value to you? Sounds a lot like Jesus' words in Matthew 20:28. Is that true for you, is that your default? 6) Working with UK players now his goal is to build men of character, competence, and consequence. On the field, in the classroom, and in the community helping them excel in all aspects of life. What did he say being a "man of consequence" means? Are there men in your life who you are helping to build up similarly? 7) Does your life exude calm confidence? Are you confident in who you are and what your purpose is? If not, how can you cultivate that?
How do we define a real man? In this episode we discuss God's definition of manhood in an age of fatherlessness. Scott reads and shares thoughts from Father Fiction by Donald Miller.
1) Donald Miller's book "Father Fiction" talks about the impact growing up fatherless had on him. What was your relationship with your father like?
2) Where do our struggles as a son or as a father come from? Where is this tension around manhood rooted?
3) How would our culture finish this sentence: "You are not a man unless _____"?
4) How would you define a real man?
5) Read Matthew 7:9–11 and 1 John 3:1. Learning how to navigate the journey of manhood is challenging. Some say it is passed down from one father to the next, but what does it mean that our identity comes from our Heavenly Father first and foremost?
6) God has spoken, so I have what it takes to become a good man; It doesn't depend on whether I had a good dad or a bad dad—or no dad at all. How does that thinking free you up? How does it motivate you?
7) Jesus is the essence of what real manhood looks like. What "manly" qualities do you see in His life?
If we believe Jesus really is king of everything, that means ALL THINGS. In this episode Scott shares thoughts on how we can keep Christ over all things in our lives.
Discussion Questions:
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Read Colossians 1:15-20. Jesus is king of everything: All things, visible and invisible, on Earth and in Heaven, everything. Do you believe that? And more importantly, how are you demonstrating it with your life?
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Is the preeminent story of my life Jesus' preeminence?
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Read 2 Timothy 3:14-17. The Bible is sufficient for all things. Do you believe that and more importantly, how are you demonstrating it with your life?
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What does it mean that the Bible is... Profitable? Useful for correcting? For training in righteousness?
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Are you prone to look to other resources before—or more often than—the Bible? What are some examples of other resources we are tempted to look toward?
6) Read 1 Timothy 4:16. This begins with me. The person we need to think about first is ourself. How are you doing with syncing up your life and your doctrine; what you believe and what you do?
- Pray that the guys in your group would be men who believe and demonstrate with their whole lives that Jesus is king of everything, that the Bible is sufficient for all things, and that it starts with me.
In this episode Scott unpacks what the book of Proverbs has to say about the value of discipline in our lives, and we talk about practical steps we can take to move forward.
Discussion Questions:
- Laziness plagues a lot of men, and when they become lazy or bored women and children often take the brunt of it. What areas of laziness do you struggle with? When are you most susceptible to check out and become lazy?
- How do you ask your spouse, children, or loved ones to speak truth to and point out blind spots in your life? Do you welcome or push away accountability?
- Work is a Godly thing. How has your work life or perspective changed during the COVID-19 pandemic?
- Laziness in one area of your life can easily spread into other areas. Ask yourself honestly: Where do you need to step it up and be disciplined? Marriage, fitness, work, family, friends, faith?
- Proverbs pushes young men to become and stay self-governing––to not be reliant on the government, bosses, or others to motivate them and to spur them into action. How does this resonate and challenge you? Who have you become reliant upon for motivation and governing at times?
- Small things can have massive impacts in our lives. From making our bed to cleaning our room, self-discipline starts small and paves the way for fruitfulness. What is one small task you can begin to make a daily discipline?
- Disorder brings chaos and worry. How has this plagued your past? How can your future change this narrative?
- Read Proverbs 6:9-11, which teaches that laziness leads to disaster. How can you take a step away from that today?
Scott Hatfield is back on the podcast as we discuss how we as men can rise up to the responsibilities of spiritual leadership in our homes.
Discussion Questions:
- What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the term “spiritual leader?” Who was the spiritual leader of your home growing up? What did you see exhibited well? What did you see done poorly?
- How do you feel pressure to lead your family well spiritually? What areas do you struggle with? What areas has your spouse or friends pointed out as blind sides in your life?
- Hatfield pointed out well that women were created from the side of man, not under or over him. Lived out well, men and women are different but equal. Where do you and your spouse work well together? What is an area of tension because of difference? How does the Spirit work through you to bring about unity in your marriage?
- Have you ever had a thought where you will “suck it up,” for your family and their well being?
- How do you serve your wife? What does she need most from you? How do you serve your kids?
- How would your spouse answer these questions: What do you need more of from me? What do you need less of from me? What would be most helpful from me?
- Knowing each other's capacity is essential. When do you tend to get overwhelmed? When does your spouse tend to reach their limit? How does your spouse lighten your responsibilities best?
- How well do you and your spouse date? What is your favorite thing to do together?
- What do your kids enjoy doing the most with you? How do you prioritize and schedule that?
Derwin Gray joins us to talk about his book The Good Life and share a few NFL stories!
- Derwin was born to parents 17 and 19 years young. Each had their own issues and, because of that, he was raised by his grandparents. What was your family dynamic growing up? Who raised you? How did that play into the man you are today?
- Several years into the NFL Derwin realized, “You've accomplished all your dreams but yet you are not happy.” How does this thought and quote resonate with you? How have you ever found yourself thinking the same thing?
- Like many of us, Derwin lived with incredible fear of losing his job, purpose, and identity. He thought, “Who would I be once they told me I couldn’t play anymore?” What are you fearful of losing? What do you find security in other than Jesus’ provision?
- Derwin grew up a compulsive stutterer. What are some things you believe to be true about yourself that will keep you from telling people about Jesus and following His call in your life?
- Derwin's wife came to faith before him and prayed for Derwin to know Jesus months before he did. Are you and your spouse on the same page in your faith? What ebbs and flows do you find in your marriage?
- Mourning is something Christians often disregard. This is a very hard and trying time for all of us. What areas of your life are you mourning or grieving in this season? What is Jesus speaking to you in this season?
Scott is joined by Eric Schneider on the podcast to discuss Derwin Gray's 'Guard Your Heart' session from our Men's Conference.
To watch videos of the sessions, go to
http://southland.church/guarded
- Eric mentioned that we as the church need to be the church that God is calling us to be. What kind of church do you feel God calling us to be? What role do you play in that?
- Read Proverbs 4:23. What sticks out to you? What is the wellspring of life? What is the relationship between our heart and the wellspring?
- “You will not experience healing until you come out of hiding.” Does this trouble you or give you peace? What areas of your life do you need to expose?
- Eric asked a great question, “Who do we have that we can be recklessly honest with?” Answer this question for yourself.
- “Isolation plus boredom always leads to destruction.” How has this tendency plagued your life?
- No one has talked worse to you than you. What are the common comments you tell yourself? What lies about yourself have you always believed? What does God’s grace say in opposition of that?
- Read Ephesians 2:8-9. When we understand that it is by grace we are saved, not our own abilities, then we can silence our inner critic. How do you wrestle with the tension of your inner critic?
- If we are not finding joy in other people finding comfort in the embrace of our Heavenly Father, we are often being the other Brother in the story of the Prodigal Son. Do you find yourself running toward the rebels of our community or running away from them?
- Most people’s autobiographies lead with their greatest accomplishments. For Derwin, he never mentioned in his bio that he played in the NFL. What are some of your own leading accomplishments you tend to tell people about? Why do you think you want other people to know that about you?
Picking up where we left off last episode discussing Jason & Shelley Martinkus' 'Guard Your Marriage' session from our Men's Conference. We start off discussing the 7 building blocks of a healthy marriage and where we can shore up our relationships.
Link to video from the session:
Guard Your Marriage, with Jason & Shelley Martinkus
1) Jason mentioned seven building blocks of intimacy for spouses: Recreational (having fun), Proximal (being close), Spiritual (what God is doing), Intellectual (good conversations, dreaming), Emotional (learning to be empathetic), Physical (non-sexual), Sex. How did this shift your paradigm of connecting with your wife? And also being connected with by your wife?
2) Which one of these do you do the best and how? Which one of these is most challenging?
3) Hatfield had a great line, “Your wife is not a body, she is a soul.” How does that confirm or challenge the way you view your wife?
4) Nickell mentioned hopes and dreams versus expectations and demands in our marriages. What are your hopes and dreams for your marriage? What are the expectations and demands of your marriage?
5) Rewiring your brain takes about six weeks. What does your journey in rewiring your brain look like? What tripped you up? What aided you?
6) Sometimes what Jesus calls us to is very difficult and very hard. What is Jesus calling you to right now?
Hatfield & Nickell go in-depth on the 'Guard Your Marriage' session with Jason & Shelley Martinkus from our Guarded Men's Conference.
Link to a video from this session:
Guard Your Marriage with Jason & Shelley Martinkus
- When is the last time you had a real, honest talk about sex with another brother in Christ? How did it go? What did you not say that you should have been honest about?
- Read Proverbs 7. What are some of the words, phrases, or images from this text that stood out to you? What resonated with you?
- After watching Jason and Shelley Martinkus’ session at Men's Conference, what helped you find clarity on your battle against temptation and for sexual purity?
- What direction were you given while you were growing up surrounding sexual temptation and how to find freedom over it? What was your first exposure to porn and how old were you?
- If your wife asked you, “Is there anything I need to know?” would the question haunt you or give you hope? Why? What would you want to tell her in a moment of transparency?
- Jason admitted that he allowed fear to bully him and keep him from being honest. How has fear bullied you in the past? How does it sometimes hold you captive now?
- Having regular questions asked of you regarding the purity of your eyes, mind, and heart is essential. What sort of plan do you have in place now? If you don't have one, who is someone you can trust to ask you those hard questions?
Scott Hatfield is back on the podcast to unpack 'father wounds' -- the pain and trauma from our past. We talk about the impact it still has in our lives and how with God's help we can own our wounds, find freedom and settle the past.
- How do you react when you hear the term “father wounds?”
- As a boy, how did you figure out how to be a man?
- Some causes of father wounds are neglect, absence, and abuse. How have any of those reasons given you wounds?
- Who filled the father role in your life? In what ways did they fill that role well? How did they struggle in that role?
- What are some destructive patterns you have in your life that are a result of unhealed wounds? (Extreme bitterness, great rage, unworthy, incompetent, unloveable?)
- Do you passively or aggressively respond to your wounds? How does that play out?
- Is your version of God representative of the picture of your father? Was he a demanding rule follower? Passive aggressive?
- How are the wounds you have received going to change the way you parent or are going to parent?
- What part of your identity do you need to understand in light of how much God loves you so that you can live in freedom from others' view of you?
- If you could tell your dad one thing in a moment of transparency and vulnerability, what would it be? What is the one thing you would want to hear your dad say about you?
- Pray for the wounds in your Group that were voiced in this discussion.
In this episode Scott sits down with Josh Garrett and Qaaim Stainback to discuss the 'Guard Your Gospel' session with Lecrae from our Guarded Men's Conference.
Link to a video from this session:
Guard Your Gospel, with Lecrae
1) On this episode, race and racism was at the forefront of discussion. What has been your experience with the discussion surrounding race?
2) Josh mentioned that Lecrae asked, “Who am I to withhold forgiveness?” Forgiving others is one of the hardest aspects of following Jesus. How have you been hurt and what did your healing process look like?
3) Lecrae mentioned that kids only get one dad and that his ultimate role in life is as a father. How does that resonate with or challenge you? How do you struggle with the tension of getting distracted from what is most important?
4) Lecrae exhibited great humility in not naming the influential Christian Leaders who had hurt him. What has been your experience with being hurt by the church or it’s leaders? What is your response in times of betrayal?
5) One of the most intriguing aspects of Lecrae’s interview were the complexities he brought up. We live in an absolute/extreme culture (e.g.—You have to be Republican vs. Democrat, Liberal vs. Conservative.) How have you fallen victim to this tendency? How do you rest in complexities?
6) When you see other people’s scars, you’re reminded that you can heal. What are wounds you’re still healing from? How can we pray for that?
7) We don’t know what’s going to happen when we tell the truth. Are others going to think I am weak or that I wasn't strong enough? What were some situations or struggles you were worried might cause people to see you as weak?
8) In order to protect ourselves, we will weld on certain forms of masculinity to survive. Whether it is pretending everything is okay, acting differently than we feel, etc. What are ways you have welded on armor to protect yourself. (Read Ephesians 6:10-20)
9) “God is a relational God, not a transactional God.” How does that statement resonate and challenge your view of God? Pray Ephesians 1:15-23 over your Group.
In this episode Scott sits down with Spencer Hahn and Evan Wehrle to discuss the 'Guard Your Family' sessions from our Guarded Men's Conference.
Links to videos from the sessions:
Guarded Men's Conference Session 3 - Matthew Bradford
Guarded Session 4 - Scott Nickell
1) What comes to mind when you think about guarding your family? What are areas of strengths for you? What are areas of weakness?
2) Israel’s problem as well as Sampson’s was that they “did what was right in their own eyes.” What are areas of your life you often try to justify as right so you can do them?
3) Sampson lived one of the most unguarded lives we see in the Bible. As men, intentionality is crucial for us to protect our loved ones. What are some areas, if you are honest, that have slid off your priority list? What are some simple steps you can take to start loving your family well this week?
4) Fundamentals are essential, both in sports and in protecting and providing for our families. How do you incorporate prayer and time in the Word into your everyday life?
5) What are you guarding your family from? Are there any vain pursuits you chase that you need to guard your family from?
6) We are a story-driven culture. What stories do you need to guard your younger loved ones from?
7) Whether it is hunting, fishing, drinking, over-exercising, over-eating, laziness, etc... What is it you use as a crutch to fill you up?
8) Do you resonate with feeling bored and frustrated? In what situations and circumstances do you feel those the easiest?
9) At this present moment, do you feel more “isolated” (cut off from other Christian men) or “Insulated” (cut off from the Spirit of Christ)?
Scott Hatfield shares wisdom gained through years of ministry in many different contexts.
- The culture has to change in our church and that begins with men stepping up. Who are you investing in intentionally? Who is investing in you?
- Someone will one day pick up and continue the legacy that you left behind… what legacy are you currently writing? What pieces are you going to leave behind?
- Who are you? What is God’s character? What does your Bible study and prayer time look like? What does your accountability look like? What issues from your past still plague you and need to be put to death? What armor do you need to put on? What is your kryptonite? What is your mission?
- What drives your life and perception of yourself: What God thinks and says of you or what the world thinks and says of you?
What roadblocks keep you from resting in your identity in Jesus? - Men sometimes don't lead because of a variety of reasons: incompetence, comparison, hypocrisy, or because they think it's for women. Which of these most resonates with you?
- Does your family get your best or your left overs? What small shifts can you begin to make now that will allow your family to get more of your best?
- Spiritual warfare is real. What was your upbringing on this subject? What areas of your life can you see signs of being under attack? How can the truth of God’s presence destroy that attack?
Scott kicks off season 5 with a look at the book of Proverbs.
- Proverbs was written for boys. It was the collected wisdom of a Father written down for his son. When you hear the word wisdom, what thoughts come to mind?
- You can be a grown man by age and size but a boy by the measurement of Proverbs. How do you tend to measure your maturity and manhood?
- Proverbs is primarily focused on two words: Wisdom and Discipline. Wisdom is “skillful living”, kind of like a tradesman. It’s useful, helpful. Producing things of lasting value in the community you find yourself living in. In what ways are you contributing lasting value to your family, church, friends, and neighbors?
- Discipline means “moral discipline”; it is the necessary companion to wisdom. It is correcting flaws while developing integrity. Solomon often compromised his wisdom with his lack of moral discipline. Lack of discipline in one area of our lives will seep into all other corners of our lives. You cannot manage sin. Where in your life are you making moral compromises?
- Honoring God with your body often comes with polarizing opinions such as “to tattoo or not”? But it is so much deeper than that: How are you using your words? Where are your thoughts? How is your health? All of those things affect all of you; they matter. What changes do you need to make and why?
- “Dont be dumb.” What relationships, jobs, or opportunities have you put at risk because of being dumb?
- Dont have sex with someone other than your wife. Jesus takes this a step further in Matthew 5:27-30 by saying anyone who even looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery. Honestly, how are you doing with this?
- Read Proverbs 1:1-7. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. A healthy fear of our Heavenly Father looks like beholding His power and majesty with utter admiration and respect. When we do this, it looks like trusting God in all things, in all ways. What areas of your life or in which situations do you need to trust God?
In this episode Scott, Chris and Derrick circle up to review the four freedom killers we discussed in Season 4 and share strategies for dealing with them.
- Throughout this season of Locker Room, with which freedom-killer have you identified the most? How does it manifest in your life?
- One of the signs of insecurity is defensiveness... not allowing ourselves to hear and process the opinions of others, and the inability to take in new information, especially when it contradicts our own opinions. Where and when do you find yourself being the most defensive?
- Defensiveness stems from trying to protect our identity whenever we believe it to be at risk or under attack. Where do you see your identity might be based on things that are unhealthy—on anything other than in God?
- Talking more than listening is another sign of insecurity. When do you see this rising up in you? Do you tend to be aware of it “in the moment” or not? How can you become more so?
- Accomplishments and compliments can also feed our insecurities. We can’t always believe our own press clippings. What are some achievements that feed into your insecurity? From whom do you need to hear and what do you hope they’ll say about you to boost your confidence?
- Christian men who have their identity rooted in God alone play for an audience of One. Who do you tend to find yourself performing for when you are operating out of a place of un-health?
- Who do you have in your life that is encouraging you while also holding you accountable?
- With the holidays coming up, what are some areas you know are hard for you to be secure in who you are?
- What insecurity do you need to let go of? What aspect of your identity do you need to allow to become rooted in the love and grace of God?
In this episode Scott reads from and discusses two books: The Boy Crisis by Warren Farrell & John Gray; and Fatherless America by David Blankenhorn.
- Describe your family dynamic growing up. Who was most influential in your life?
- How is the health of your relationship with your dad? What has caused it to be that way?
- “The Boy Crisis” reveals that dads are important because, when sons see their dads, they see who they can become. What future are you modeling for your kids?
- Dad-deprived kids are more likely to suffer in many areas: Grades and awards, skipping school, expulsion from school, not finishing school, joining gangs, suicide rates, drug use, homelessness, sexual abuse and victimization, and much more. Dad-deprived kids are less likely to be employed, get married, stay married, be a good dad themselves. How are you contributing to this trend? How are you contributing to the solution?
- How are you intentionally investing in your wife? How are you pursuing her? What rhythms do you have in place to practice a healthy relationship?
- What can you do to invest in kids without fathers?
In this episode Scott and guest Gary Black tackle how our struggles with shame--both from things done to us and things we have done--rob us of our identity. We'll talk about how God wants to restore us and steps we can take towards peace.
- Shame is usually rooted in things we have done or things that have been done to us. Which of these do you resonate with most? Why?
- Gary mentioned that we should never introduce ourselves or define ourselves by our deficiencies, but rather as a much-loved creation of God who therefore has significant value and worth. What self-deficiencies tend you plague your self-definition? How do you think Jesus would define who you are?
- Shame can come from many different sources, even those we are unaware of. It can come from ourselves, our church, teachers, coaches, parents, spouses, friends, even strangers on social media. Which relationships have caused you to be the most aware of shame? What was it that was done or said that has hurt you the most?
- In the battle against shame, we need to help people recognize their woundedness. What have been some of your most profound or longest-lasting wounds?
- Discuss the fact that anger in men is often a sign of shame. In men, anger often stems from a place of masking a desire to never let anyone see our weaknesses.
- Once you have located the root of your shame, you need to see it in light of how God sees you: Forgiven and free of shame. As Gary mentioned, “You need to accept your unacceptableness.” What area(s) of your life do you struggle to accept?
- Before we begin our self-improvement program, we must fully understand and fully accept God’s grace. Gary says grace is much more than just the cross—it is an all-encompassing, radically amazing, overwhelming sense of God’s love and favor for us. How does this challenge your past understanding of grace?
- Forgiving someone, especially of a deep hurt, is not a “one and done”... it is more like the beginning of a journey. Share about your journey to forgive others. Is there someone specifically you struggle to forgive? Where are you at today with forgiveness?
- Forgiveness is a choice, it is not an emotion. Write a list of all the emotions that the person who hurt you has caused you and why. And then decide, from today on, that you will live in the freedom of forgiveness... and that you will not give that person power over you anymore.
In this episode Scott talks about self-righteousness and how it kills our freedom.
The episode begins with a reading recommendation from Scott - How to Exasperate Your Wife and Other Short Essays for Men by pastor and author Douglas Wilson.
1) Ask yourself the question, “If my household was a story, what kind of character would I be in it?” Would you be the good guy? The bad guy? The knight in shining armor? The villain?
2) Godly discipline is not confined to one aspect of our lives. It affects everything, it spreads to everything, and is always growing. We see that lust produces envy, strife, and discontent whereas self-control produces patience, kindness, and joy. In your life, are you currently experiencing more envy or more patience? More strife or more kindness? More discontent or greater joy?
3) Discipline drives us to be the people we are becoming daily. What type of person do you want to become? What disciplines are required to become that person?
4) Self-Righteousness is a freedom killer, and one reason for this is because no one thinks they struggle with it. Do you agree or disagree? Why?
5) Self-righteousness is a rejection of what Jesus has already provided for us in an effort to provide for ourselves. How does this play out in your world?
6) Self-righteousness doesn’t give in very easily, it tends to hide. In what areas of your life do you fight off a sense of superiority over others?
7) Share where you’re at with this topic and pray for one another where you need to see Jesus transform you.
In this episode Scott expands more on fear and how men can face it head-on. We wrap this week's episode with a challenge.
1) Courage is not the absence of fear, courage is action in spite of fear. What thoughts, situations, or concerns create the most fear in you? What fears paralyze you to inaction?
2) The pathway to courage is vulnerability. C.S. Lewis once said, “To love at all is to be vulnerable.” So if vulnerability is the power by which men push through to courage, why are we afraid to place ourselves in positions of vulnerability?
3) Why do men view vulnerability as a weakness and not a strength? What areas of your life are you least willing to be vulnerable?
4) It is easier to abdicate responsibility than to carry it. What responsibilities at home, work, and with friends do you find the most burdensome?
5) Brene Brown shares examples of vulnerability such as: Voicing an unpopular opinion, asking for help, saying no, starting my own business, initiating sex with my wife, calling a friend whose child has just died, getting a promotion and not knowing how I will perform, admitting I am afraid, asking for forgiveness, working out in public, etc. Which of these do you identify with the most?
6) Men do a really good job of talking, but rarely about anything of substance. We divert the conversations to areas of comfort as opposed to being pushed to open up. What conversations do you try to avoid at all cost?
7) Only weak men tend to belittle other men. Do the people you spend the most time with push you down or pull you up? What causes us to sometimes put other men down instead of building them up?
8) What is the one conversation you need to have with someone this week where you would have to be completely open and vulnerable? Who do you need to have it with? Do it.
Scott talks about fear and how it robs us of opportunities in our lives.
1) Scott mentioned that “fear is not a sin.” How did your upbringing in your family and church either confirm or contrast with this statement?
2) The most common command in the Bible is to not fear, however fear dominates most people's lives. How has fear, anxiety, and stress affected your life? What do you think causes most people to live in fear when we are called not to?
3) Jesus Himself being fully man experienced fear—we see that in Luke 22:44. Fear made Jesus tremble but did not divert Him from His mission. Jesus’ fear drove Him to obedience, not disobedience. How do you respond when you’re overcome with fear?
4) How do you resonate with these statements: Fear of failure can cheat us out of the opportunity to compete. Fear of people can lead you to tell people what they want to hear. Fear of financial loss can cause you to play it safe. Fear of change can lead you to miss God’s call in your life. Fear of looking foolish steals your joy. Fear of the unknown can lead to away from serving others. Fear of being left out can steal your rest. Fear of being incompetent can keep you from learning new things.
5) n the Old Testament Jacob wrestled with fear and it drove him to do absurd things. What were some instances in your life when you did ridiculous things because you were fearful of an outcome?
6) When have you allowed fear to cheat you out of something? What regrets do you have about fear? Who has been hurt because you were driven by fear? Is there a consistent fear in your life that has paralyzed you?
7) Partner up with one person, share your greatest fear about the upcoming week, and pray over one another—that you will trust Jesus and His power to encourage and embolden you to persevere when met with adversity this week.
Qaaim is one of the newest staff members at Southland and he has an incredible story to share.
- Qaaim talked about his upbringing in New York City and how it shaped him growing up. Where are you from and what was your family like?
- Did you grow up with the mentality of helping fight other’s battles for them? Did you have people to help you overcome adversity or were you left to your own abilities? How do you think this shaped your life?
- Qaaim went from being in a culture in New York where everyone was like him, to Kentucky where people were different. What have those situations looked like for you? Have you ever experienced going from being the majority to the minority? What was that like, if so?
- Qaaim brought up a great point that most people don’t want to hear about your faith unless there is already an established, healthy relationship. How does this fact shape the way you build relationships and share your faith with people?
- Learning to listen is a gift from God, because in it we can make people feel loved without saying a word. What has been your experience with giving and receiving this gift?
- King David was disobedient but was not shackled by his sin and mistakes. Rather, he learned and grew from them. What does Satan use from your past to try and hold you down? What is one lesson you’ve learned from which you’ve experienced healing and growth?
Scott is one of the Pastoral Impact Pastors at Southland and he shares tons of wisdom he's gained through the years of working with men.
- Hatfield opened up about his family and upbringing. What was your family dynamic and upbringing like?
- Men allow their circumstances to eclipse them (addiction, pride, passivity, marriage issues, purity issues, shame). They drag their pain around with them wherever they go. What issue is plaguing you? What pain or situation are you carrying around with you?
- Pride and passivity are the main sins men struggle with. How are these two things plaguing you currently?
- Because of the fall, a lot of men look to their work for their identity through affirmation, approval, and/or validation. How is this true for you? If not at work, where else do you look for validation?
- When men feel incompetent, they tend to give up instead of doing the hard work. This plays out mostly in the area of being a godly husband and father. Where do you get the most frustrated in those relationships and where is it easiest to give up?
- How can you go home and begin to foster a new reality as a Leader? What small deposits can you begin to make with your wife and kids?
- Hatfield mentioned that too many men look to the “experts,” to tell them what the Bible shows them to be true of Jesus rather than reading it for themselves. What keeps you from getting into God’s word for yourself? What motivates you to read your Bible?
Mike is the former lead pastor of Southland and he is currently teaching at multiple churches. He and Scott sit down to discuss what he's learned about men in his many years of ministry.
- A lot of guys are searching for approval. You can spend your whole life trying to attain the acceptance you already have. Jesus’ death on the cross for your sins proves that you are more valuable than you can ever imagine. How do you struggle to believe this as true?
- “Am I enough?” Where does this question plague your identity the most?
- What a man desires the most is unfailing love, but the problem is we look for it in people who can only offer conditional love. Who/where do you look for affirmation?
- When we look to people for our affirmation and approval, we put a tremendous amount of pressure on them because they cannot be our God. Who have you put pressure on? How has that affected your relationship with them?
- We set ourselves up for disappointment when we look to imperfect people and things for our approval. Who/where have you been disappointed by in the past?
- Insecure husbands can project those insecurities onto their wives to be something she is not. How have you tried to change your wife to fit your insecurities?
- Do you tend to be a person who offers help or needs help? Where do you need to find security so that you can become more of a person who helps.
- What circles are you placing yourself in so that you can begin to create deep friendships? Both with believers and non-believers?
- Accountability is only as good as you want it to be. How would you gauge the level of accountability you currently have? What is one change you can make to increase the fruit in your accountability?
- Read Micah 6:8. What is the Lord requiring of you to live out this week?
Scott talks with Dave Willis about his new book, Raising Boys Who Respect Girls
- Dave starts out by saying, “The whole point in life is healthy relationships.” How does the way you spend your time and efforts support or conflict with this statement? What do you spend your time and effort pursuing the most?
- If we are not alarmed by our cultural climate then we are not paying attention. What are some dynamics of the cultural climate that frustrate you or that you don’t know how to navigate?
- When you hear the phrase “toxic masculinity” what are some of the first words you think of? How does “toxic masculinity” tend to taint or obscure “true masculinity”?
- How can men take up their responsibility to use our strength to protect women, not to take advantage of them?
- Boys are falling behind socially, spiritually, and academically because even if fathers are in the house, they’re not emotionally present. How can you work toward changing this as far as it is up to you?
- As men, we have to go first. We cannot ask our boys to do something we ourselves are not doing. Where do you need to lead out for the younger men or boys in your life to see true masculinity?
- “Everybody wins when men follow Jesus.” In what areas do you need more of Jesus? In what areas have you been desensitized to culture and allowed it to shape you?
- As parents, we do not have to be fair in our parenting; we are called to be wise. What are some examples of erring on the side of wisdom instead of fairness? Why is this important?
- Your family can do with less of everything in this world except your time and affection. What are some areas of your life and lifestyle that you might let go so you can spend the most time with your family?
In this episode Scott talks about how to cultivate deep security in who we are.
1) What has been your past experience with cultivating deep security in who you are? What struggles have you encountered?
2) How have you historically been taught about God being all-knowing? How have you reacted to that truth? How have you tried to cover up things from God or clean up things for God?
3) Scott points out, there is no point in hiding from God because he is all-knowing. There are no deficiencies, inadequacies, faults, sins, weaknesses, that God sees in us as believers ...so then there is no point in hiding from him. What keeps you from viewing yourself the way God does?
4) God fully sees the good attributes you have. He sees your strengths, abilities, talents, courage, care, love, and giftedness. What are some of the good attributes you do have?
5) God sees you for who you are really (both good and bad) and loves you dearly in light of it all. His love for you is not up for negotiation.
6) We have all struggled for seeing validation from others. Who have you sought validation from? And what circumstances or situations are you most susceptible to seeing validation?
7) Take a look at your life? What, if it was taken away from you, would you lose your identity? Power, position, influence, status, wealth, appearance, etc.
8) What is it, if left unchecked, could begin to identify you? How can you begin to cultivate a deep security in who you are so as not to develop a life of insecurity? Who in your life helps you maintain a real perspective of who you are?
Scott talks about insecurity and how it shows up in our behavior.
- Have you ever had a complete and utter meltdown? What was the cause of it?
- If you have kids, can you resonate with the tension of wanting your kids to succeed and it having to do with your own identity? For those without kids, what are some other factors that threaten your identity?
- What are some of your deepest insecurities? How do you manage or hide them?
- Does your perception of yourself match what others think of you? Have you ever resonated with the thought that you have been “faking it till you make it”?
- The reason we explode is because who we are is at risk. Do you have anyone in your corner always championing you to become the best version of yourself?
- What things define who you think you are?
- One sign that someone is insecure is “not sharing the spotlight”. On the flip side, someone who is secure will tend to elevate others. Which one do you resonate with and why?
- Where and when do your insecurities show up? What situations reveal your insecurities? What would you hate for people to think about you? What would you be embarrassed for people to find out about you? Find one person who knows you really well and ask them to identify your insecurities.
In this episode Scott continues his conversation with Jason Martinkus who leads Redemptive Living, which helps men who are struggling to restore their sexual integrity.
- Read Galatians 6:2. Have you ever approached the church or a counselor for help with issues related to sexual brokenness and idolatry? What was your experience like with each? What can the church do better to deal with these issues? When men are in crisis, where do they tend to go if left to their own resources? Where do you go? What do you know about how to get help?
- One of the huge disservices we do in church culture at large is we don’t talk about issues honestly. Jason acknowledged that most guys are struggling in some way. He made the assertion that, in one room at a conference, there were men who are having sex with animals, inanimate objects, women, children, transvestites. How does that hit you or how do you respond to that reality?
- Eventually, God says, “Enough.” He doesn’t allow the dysfunction and sickness in us to go on any longer. Why does He do this? Have you experienced this kind of moment when God puts His foot down and says, “This far… no further...”? What happened?
- Men sometimes try to manipulate their wife into changing, thinking they will somehow solve their own problem in that way. We shift the blame onto her, abdicating responsibility for our place to lead and love and serve. What kind of damage is done in your relationship and/or in your wife’s life when you do this?
- Wives desperately believe there’s a good man in their husbands. They long for that man to come through. They want so badly for you to become everything they hoped you would be, to step into who God has made you to be. About what issues and areas of your life do you need to get honest with your group and your bride? Will you start that journey toward freedom right now, allowing the truth to break the chains?
- Read John 8:31-32. One final question: Do you need to reach out for help?
- Jason said, “We’ve got to get ahead of this.” It starts with you doing the deeper work and goes on to lives like yours being redeemed to help the next generation. Learn more about the work Jason is doing and the services his ministry provides at redemptiveliving.com or rlforwomen.com.
In this episode Scott talks with Jason Martinkus who leads Redemptive Living, which helps men who are struggling to restore their sexual integrity.
- Jason shared about being introduced to pornography at a young age and the effects it had on him. Unfortunately, many men can relate to his experience. If appropriate, share with the group your first introduction to pornography and the effect it has had on you.
- "Swearing every time would be the last and then hating myself when it happened again" - I think we've all been there before, even the apostle Paul can relate. Read Romans 7:14-25. Why does this seem to be part of the human experience?
- What does it mean to for us to have two powers at war inside of our minds or to be slaves to sin? Why did Paul choose that language?
- Jason said, "you're not going to heal without the truth being on the table". What is it about bringing things into the light to allow them to be healed? (Imagine a doctor performing surgery in the dark)
- If we all agree with that principle, then why do we still resist it in our own lives? Why do we, why do you, resist being completely honest and vulnerable?
- Read 1 Corinthians 6:18. Jason mentioned some about the neurochemistry of our brains, building off that, why and how does sexual sin affect us in different ways?
- Jason reflected back on how his secret sins were destroying him and eroding his faith. As a man, as a follower of Jesus, and to the people around him who needed him. How are your secret sins affecting you? Who else may they be affecting too?
This is part 2 of Scott’s discussion with Gary Black.
- Gary shared about the "exchanged life"; trading a performance-based, approval-seeking mentality for the unconditional love and acceptance God is offering. How did he say that revolutionized his understanding of how God sees him? Did that resonate with you in any way?
- When God walks in the room, He smiles at you. He not only loves you He also likes you. Is that hard for you to believe? What would change if you believed that every day as you went throughout your day?
- How do legalism and shame keep us from letting God love us? What lies are we believing when we allow those things to tell us what God thinks of us?
- Romans 8:1 reminds us that there is now no condemnation for those in Christ. What truths did Gary emphasize from that verse?
- What we build our identity around is key. How can you lay down the "performance-driven life" while still being productive, setting goals, and working to achieve them?
- When was the last time you did an honest evaluation of gratitude and thankfulness in your life? How could you best cultivate a heart of gratitude today?
- Read through the rest of Romans 8 and reflect on the type of love God is offering you. How would you sum that chapter up? What does God want us to understand about His love?
In this episode Scott sits down with Gary Black. Gary shares the wisdom he has gained through decades of marriage, ministry, and manhood.
- Just to get the conversation rolling: have you ever been mugged or had a scary encounter similar to that? Share your story.
- God called Gary to overcome his fear of public speaking to preach the Gospel. What is a fear, insecurity, or doubt you have had that God has used to spread the Gospel and expand His Kingdom?
- Gary’s fear originated with insecurities from his childhood. What hurts or pains from your childhood still plague you today?
- You have an audience of one... Jesus. Are you playing for the grandstand or the coach? Are you living to gain accolades and praises from other people or are you receiving your self worth from Jesus?
- The reason God’s opinion of you is the only one that matters is because He created you; you are His. How do you struggle living out this truth?
- Who you are at home is who you really are. So who are you at home?
- When men are unhealthy, we tend to hurt those we love the most. How has this played out in seasons of un-health for you?
- Gary’s story shows us that transformation takes time. What is one area of your life that you need to take to Jesus starting today to begin the road to reconciliation?
In this episode Scott addresses what is commonly referred to as toxic masculinity.
- What have been your thoughts, interactions, or assumptions about the term “toxic masculinity?”
- What are some of society's problems that have placed the blame on toxic masculinity?
- Watch this Gillette commercial. What are your reactions? Do you agree or disagree with it? Why?
- Scott says there is no such thing as toxic masculinity because if it is toxic, it is not masculine. To be masculine is to be like Jesus because Jesus is the essence of masculinity. How does this truth challenge or sharpen what you have believed to be true about masculinity?
- The essence of manhood is responsibility. As men, we even need to take responsibility to help be a part of the solution to problems we didn’t cause. What are some situations you sense God calling you to be a part of the solution to by taking responsibility?
- As a father to a son, how are you helping him to understand and act out a biblical view of masculinity? As fathers of daughters, how are you helping her to understand what a real man is, and how to go about looking for and waiting for a Christlike man?
In this episode, Scott, Chris, and Derrick continue their conversation and discuss work/life balance.
- For a lot of men, there is a struggle between home and work. Just because you live at home does not mean that you are present and pouring into those you are called to protect. Where do you feel the tension most with home vs. work?
- A common cultural lie is that we find our primary purpose in life from our careers. How would you say you have fallen victim to this?
- We need to leave work at work: What are some practices you put in place—or need to put in place—so that you can transition from work mode to home/family mode?
- Chris Hahn mentioned tracking your hours so you can get an honest look at how productive you really are with your time and discover areas where you can tighten up with productivity. Have you ever done this? What are some moments in your day where you could be more productive so you can be more present at home?
- A lot of what we do daily is based on what season of life we are in. What season of life are you in and what benefits and struggles does it bring?
- Like the guy who played 300 games of softball in one year, are there badges of honor you brag about but might be a detriment to your family and personal well-being?
In this episode Scott, Chris and Derrick discuss the state of manhood.
Discussion Questions:
1) What is the typical stigma attached to going to counseling? Do you agree that it is becoming more normal for men to dive into personal issues or step into counseling?
2) Chris made the connection between going to a personal trainer for fitness goals with looking at counseling as emotional training. Why is it hard for us to admit weakness in certain areas of our lives but accessible in others?
3) The guys mentioned how we can get excited about big events and conferences but neglect meeting around a table with a few guys. They used the analogy of a yearly shot vs. finding true substance. Do you feel this tension in your own life? What is the value of having consistent friends to help put these things into practice?
4) What do you think about this quote: "There’s a reason good friends are hard to find. You don’t find them, you make them. Redemptive community is forged over time together, knowing one another’s stories and journeying together." How are you pursuing friendships like this? What is preventing you from doing so?
5) Read Romans 6:1-14 together. How would you explain the dynamic between Grace and Freedom? What does it mean to be dead to sin and alive in Christ?
6) Paul uses word pictures to help describe the relationship between a Christian and sin. In your own words, how would you describe that relationship? What does God want us to know about His victory over sin?
This is the wrap up of Scott and Chad’s conversation.
- Men are shaped dramatically between the ages of 12 and 20. Looking back, for good or ill, what are some significant ways you were formed in those years of your life? What was lacking for you? What was invested or built into you in a good way and who made those deposits? Talk about ways you might be able to invest in the lives of young men.
- Many lessons learned early in life become important to lifelong success. Chad found a way to allow the game of football to help develop people. How can you do that through a game? Or your work? Or through the role(s) you fill in your home?
- When we get deeply involved in something—in a game, our work, school—we can find aspects of what we do get woven into our identity. We heard some great advice in this podcast: “Separate what you do from who you are.” Until 2007, the game of football was Chad’s “god”. So the Lord had to take the joy in it away for a time, until it was put in its proper place. Chad even said he was the happiest unemployed person ever when he was not defined by what he did, but who he was. Where you are today, would you feel this sense of freedom if you were to lose your job? Why or why not?
- Chad’s dad would say, “...have character, don’t be a character.” What does that mean? Take a look through the lens of the quote about character and ask yourself: How am I doing?
- Soldiers, athletes, and others who have been part of a strong team often share, in essence, “I miss the locker room.” They miss being with the other people on the team. They miss the structure and organization provided by it. And they miss the brotherhood with other players. You connect with people who have been through the same experiences you’ve been through. We need structure and brotherhood. Isolation leads to bad habits and destructive choices. How have you seen this play out in your life or in the lives of people around you?
- Expectations that people place on us can become a measuring stick that gives inaccurate results. We can even come up with some pretty tough expectations of ourselves. But Jesus met people right where they were - at their best or worst. And He invited them to take a step toward something more. Read Hebrews 10:14. What does this scripture tell us about what God does through our belief in Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross?
Scott and former NFL quarterback Chad Pennington discuss the many things Chad’s learned through playing football and his passion to build into boys and young men.
- What might it look like for you to use your passions and gifts to give back to others? Who could benefit the most from you stepping up and stepping in to share what God has entrusted to you?
- “The greatest gift you can give your children is yourself.” What does this statement say to you about your relationship with your parents? What does it say about what you have to offer your own kids or younger people you may influence?
- Chad’s dad stepped down to coach freshmen so he could see his son play. Ask yourself this really hard question: Is there anything you do, personally or professionally, that is stealing from the most important people in your life? What do you think you need to do in response to this realization? If you’re not sure, pray in the coming days and ask God what He is trying to reveal to you.
- Chad mentioned the team-approach he and his wife take to their roles in marriage and family. Are you someone who would tend to divide responsibilities or share roles in the home? What is good about each approach? What do you sense God would desire for you when it comes to this idea?
- Chad and Scott talked about how busy Chad is now, but how he’s keeping priorities in order. He wants to stay productive and do things that are meaningful. We can do this, even if we aren’t retired in our 30’s from a professional football career. How can you be productive and do things that are meaningful from whatever position you find yourself?
- Read Deuteronomy 6:4-9. What does this scripture look like when it’s lived out in the context of the questions you’ve thought through today?
Scott introduces Southland’s new women’s podcast: Defined.
In this first episode, we introduce this podcast and outline the vision for redefining women’s conversations.
You can listen to episodes of Defined here or subscribe on iTunes. Thanks for tuning in!
Vinnie Lopez is a former professional MMA fighter and current owner of Vital Strength and fitness in Denver Colorado. He is also a professional coach of several current fighters both in the UFC and outside of it. In this episode Vinnie and Scott discuss Vinnie’s story and what he is currently passionate about.
Discussion Questions:
- Vinnie had a rough childhood and was essentially left to fend for himself. Now, looking back, what did he say he’s learned from those experiences? How is that being redeemed for good?
- Ironically, MMA fighting was the thing that softened Vinnie’s heart enough to let Jesus in. What things would you point to in your life that softened your heart to hear and respond to the gospel?
- Vinnie’s whole life has been about pushing through painful or difficult situations and coming out on the other side. What happens when we go through the fire? What do we learn about ourselves?
- Everybody avoids pain differently. How do you try to get around it or take the easy route? What habits do we need to build to handle adversity?
- As men, we struggle to not put our identity in what we do. Vinnie talked about the moment when he realized fighting wasn’t the ultimate thing in his life, it was just a thing in his life. What have you had to wrestle to put in its proper place?
- Having friends and mentors along the road to help us stay on track, even when things get difficult is essential. Do you have people like that in your corner? Are you that kind of friend for others?
- Vinnie ended with some great challenges: Do something hard every day. Push yourself. Put yourself in situations where it’s going to be hard to win. You’re building one habit or another. What elements of discipline do you need to put in your life?
Scott and Jon attended one of Jordan Peterson’s lectures. In this episode they share their thoughts on the message Jordan Peterson brings to men.
Discussion Questions:
- Before this podcast had you heard of Jordan Peterson? Had you heard about his opposition to legislation, his lectures, or his book 12 Rules of Life?
- A lot of young men are drawn to Peterson because of our need for someone who will speak truth into our lives and provide us with high challenge. Why do men gravitate to that? Do you see this “father-hunger” void show up in other areas?
- Read 1 Corinthians 4:14. Who would you say have been spiritual guides or spiritual fathers in your life?
- Jon and Scott talked about wrestling, hunting, sports, etc. There seems to be an innate physicality to boys and men, do you agree or disagree? Why?
- Read John 5:19-20, 8:28. What can we learn from Jesus’ relationship with his Father?
- Share what you think about Peterson’s quote, “If you want to make dangerous men, make weak boys.”
- C.S. Lewis said, “We make men without chests and expect from them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful.” We complain that we don’t have honorable men, but we don’t do anything to create honorable men. What are some things we can do to help reverse that?
- Why is it valuable to give men high expectations or challenges, equip them with the right tools to feel confident, and get them together? What can we create to provide that?
In this episode, Scott discusses the famous story of David and Goliath.
- David showed patience towards Saul because he trusted in God’s anointing and timing for him. In what area of your life do you need to trust God and His timing? How could patience change your current situation?
- “Faith pushes us through our fears.” Talk about a fear or anxiety you have faced lately. What is faith calling you to do in response?
- Goliath focused on the physical, David focused on God. In what area of your life do you need to look to Jesus instead of your own abilities?
- David shows us that God can use whoever he wants, however he wants, whenever he wants. And God is greater than any giant we could face. What giant are you currently up against? How can you trust God’s ability in light of that?
- Read 1 Samuel 17:48-54. Goliath was ultimately defeated with his own weapon which was a foreshadow of how Satan would one day be defeated by what he thought was his own weapon, the cross. The cross secures our victory over our enemy. What lies, doubts, or other insecurities is the enemy feeding you? How does the cross speak truth over and above them?
- We need to trust God and do the next right thing. What is the next right thing Jesus is calling you to in your marriage, with your kids, or in your home?
Jennifer is the first female guest on Locker Room! In this episode she shares with us some of what she's learned about men through many years of counseling.
- Jennifer Wallace says that her job consists of “listening to people's stories.” Take a moment to think about the high point and low point of your past week. Share your story.
- The number one reason men do not seek help is because of pride; we are unwilling to look weak. How is this true for you, specifically?
- Our struggles today are rooted in our past. Either we did not receive things we should have, or things were done to us that should not have been. Which has affected you more? How?
- Recently men have been more willing to come forth and admit to Jennifer that they need help because they are “tired of feeling stuck.” Where and why do you feel stuck?
- In what area of your life have you settled for the lie that “things are never going to change?” (example: relationships, career, addictions) Why do you believe this?
- Common obstacles that keep men from getting where they want to be in life are fear, broken relationships, and habits or patterns that need to be changed. Which one of the three resonates with you and why?
- In John 10:10 Jesus says, “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” If you worked together to define “abundant life”, what words or phrases would you include?
- Jennifer mentioned three components that help lead to freedom: honesty, vulnerability, and accountability. Name one person you are going to contact this week, to be honest and vulnerable, and ask for accountability. Next week share how that conversation went.
Scott and Patrick talk about the challenges men and women have in communicating with one another.
- Did you grow up in a family where it was encouraged to communicate and share your feelings? Was it ok to cry or did you feel like you were supposed to hide?
- How was your dad as a communicator? (Overly aggressive or overly passive, failing to engage, etc.)
- Read Genesis 3:6-11. How is our shame deeply rooted in the original Fall of man?
- What are the consequences of covering up or shoving down our shame? What is the fear of being naked and vulnerable?
- How is Paul trying to flip this idea back around in Ephesians 5:25-33? How is he challenging men to be initiators, to be proactive, and to start the conversation?
- Patrick said this is so tough for men because you are “taking the risk of being seen and being weak”. Is it hard for you to venture into areas where you feel incompetent?
- When someone shares a problem or concern, do you find yourself dismissing it, going straight to trying to fix it, or seeking to listen and understand first?
- How can you begin doing these things this week with your wife? With your family?
In this episode Scott talks to former Major League Baseball player Austin Kearns. Austin talks about the importance of failure, mental toughness, his love for coaching and being a dad.
Group Questions
- Share a baseball related story with the group. Maybe your famous little league days or best ballpark you’ve got to see a game in.
- Austin spent 3yrs in the minor leagues before 11yrs in the majors. What kind of mental toughness would you have to develop during that stage of your career?
- The major league baseball season is long - 162 games, with all the travel, the hotel rooms, being away from family, etc. But as they say “You gotta perform to stay”. Do you ever feel that kind of pressure at your job?
- Austin said, “I always learned the most from failure”. How is failure such a great teacher? What do you learn about yourself when you fail?
- Mental toughness in dealing with adversity is a key in baseball and in life. Discuss 1 Peter 1:13 and 2 Timothy 4:5 Why is mental toughness commanded in the Bible?
- Austin shared that his goal in coaching is to instill fundamentals that will help younger players thrive while developing a work ethic and a love for the game. Do you coach any youth sports? How has it been trying to teach these things to younger kids?
- “Keep things simple. Do the little things correctly. Work on the fundamentals.” These all seemed to be themes in Austin’s story. Read 2 Timothy 3:14-16 and Hebrews 4:12 How does the fundamental of reading God’s word daily help us? Are you practicing that fundamental frequently or neglecting it?
In this episode Scott talks about what we can learn from Elijah.
Discussion Questions:
- Read 1 Kings 17. How did God demonstrate his provision for Elijah out in the desert? What was he teaching Elijah?
- What do you think Elijah was thinking when God sent him to live with a widow and her son? What would you think of God’s plan if you were in this story?
- How did God continue to show his provision, to both Elijah and the widow’s family?
- Read 1 Kings 18:19-39 Before this showdown on Mt. Carmel, do you think Elijah thought about running away? Or do you think he was so excited he couldn’t wait?
- What details of the story stuck out to you? As readers & listeners to Elijah’s life, what are we learning about God’s character?
- Read 1 Kings 19:1-18. Often after our greatest victories, we face our greatest temptations. Share a time when that has happened in your own life.
- What is the significance of God showing up in a gentle whisper instead of the wind, earthquake or fire?
- At times in these stories Elijah showed extreme confidence in God while at other times he was scared for his life and impatient with God. Why is that? Why do we continue to doubt God’s goodness and faithfulness?
Ross has been a member at Southland for many years and is chairman of the elder team. Ross talks about what it looks like to extend grace to others out of the grace that's been extended to him.
- Ross mentioned “difference makers” along his path that he can look back and see was God continually pursuing him. Coaches, guidance counselors, friend’s parents, etc. Who have been “difference makers” in your life?
- Extending grace to lost and broken people is our mission. How does Jesus demonstrate that for us? (Romans 5:6-11 & 1 John 4:10)
- Because of the grace we’ve received, we get to give that to others. Do you hold non-Christians to the same standard as Christians? What’s the difference between condoning sinful behavior and extending grace?
- Ross said never think of people as projects or think you’re better than others. What can we do to cultivate that mindset and outlook? (Romans 12:2)
- Everyone has a sphere of influence. Who would you say is in your sphere of influence currently? How are you building relationships with them?
- “If you don’t like change you’re going to like your irrelevance even less.” How does that relate to the Church’s mission to reach people?
- The reality is time flies, and that’s why God reminds us to make the most of our days & make each day count (Psalm 90:12). Do you live with a sense of urgency? Are you asking God to provide opportunities with the people around you?
- Make this your prayer this week as you wake up: “Lord, put somebody in my path today that needs you and needs help?”
Rorke is a Navy Seal, author, actor,hunter, husband and father. Rorke speaks all over the country for different organizations. On today’s podcast he and Scott wrap up their talk on leadership.
Discussion Questions:
- A lot of men aren’t avid readers. What about you? Why do you or don’t you read? Would you recommend other men to do the same?
- What do we miss out on when we just Google everything in the moment? How can that affect us both short term and long term?
- Rorke said “information won’t be committed to memory where it can be weaponized,” what does he mean by that? And why is it important to know more than just a few bullet points or sound bites?
- When and where could you start reading more? What sort of things would you like to read that would challenge you intellectually and spiritually?
- “Leaders do not take, we give. We don’t command, we serve.” What do you think about that axiom from Rorke?
- What are the “misnomers of manhood” in our culture today? What do others think is “manly” that actually is a bad or negative characteristic?
- Do you have good examples of strong, authentic, gentleman in your life? Who are you being that example for?
Rorke is a Navy Seal, author, actor, hunter, husband and father. Rorke speaks all over the country for different organizations. On today’s podcast he and Scott talk about leadership.
Group Questions
- Scott and Rorke talked about Navy Seal training. It's purpose isn’t to make people something they are not, but to reveal who a person already is. What are the trials and challenges in your life revealing about your character?
- Rorke uses the sign off, “Ever onward.” What is the purpose behind this phrase? How does it challenge and encourage you?
- We live in a culture that actively tries to avoid pain and discomfort. What are some ways we do that every day? Why is suffering/discomfort good for us? How can you proactively seek challenge and hardship?
- Rorke says, “Train constantly. In the heat of battle, we don’t rise to the occasion, we degrade to our level of training. So train hard.” How have you seen this in your life? What one area of your life do you need to put in the effort to reach “unconscious competence?”
- In the podcast Scott said, “What Jesus points to is good, right, and best - not easiest.” What are some tough things Jesus has asked of you that you can now see were good for you? What is one area of your life that you need to just trust that He knows best?
In this episode Scott talks about what we can learn from Gideon.
Group Questions
- Read Judges 6:11-40. What is your first impression of Gideon? What do you learn about God in this passage?
- In the podcast, Scott said, “God refers to his people not as who they currently are, but who they will be one day.” How does that encourage you?
- What was the key ingredient to Gideon’s “valor?” and success?
- Have your circumstances ever clouded your ability to see what God is doing or could do? Share about a time when this happened.
- Gideon fought a battle with only 300 men. Why would God do that? Has He ever placed you in an impossible situation? What did you learn about Him through that experience?
- What are some things God has shown you to do in His Word? Are you obeying?
Jon Weece and Scott Nickell introduce season two of the Locker Room, asking the questions, "Where are men?" And, "What are our hopes for men?"
Group Questions:
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What was the “manliest” thing you did this summer?
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What does culture say about masculinity? What influences that definition? Where should Christ followers get their definition of masculinity?
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Read Romans 5:12-17. How is Jesus the redeemed man? What do we learn about masculinity by looking at him?
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Why is masculinity important? How does it impact the family?
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Did you have a father who wanted to be a friend or a father who modeled for you what biblical manhood looks like? How did that impact who you are today?
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What are some topics / tools you hope to pass along to the next generation of men? What do you want the women in your life to learn about biblical masculinity?
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Are you stuck anywhere in life? Is there an area in life where you are delaying commitment out of fear?
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How are you tempted to engage more in “fantasy world” than in family, Church, and community? What step can you take out of fantasy world into the Kingdom of God this week?
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Do you need to seek out an older man for wisdom? A younger man to mentor? Pray about this over the next week and see if God brings someone to mind. Then, take a step by asking that person to go to coffee or lunch soon.
You can listen to the rest of Southland's Parenting Podcasts here or subscribe on iTunes. Thanks for tuning in!
Scott walks us through some important applications from the life of Samson.
Group Questions:
- Today was the final episode of Locker Room Season 1! What did you learn this season? Which podcast challenged and/or encouraged you the most?
- Read Judges 13:5, 25. What was Samson’s mission? What was the source of Sampson’s strength?
- Read Judges 14:3. What was competing for God’s place in Samson’s heart? What are some things we are tempted to chase that lead us away from God?
- How would you describe Samson’s character? How did his actions impact the people around him?
- How does God respond to Samson’s actions over the course of his life? What does that reveal to you about God’s character?
- Can you think of a season in your life when you lived by what was right in your own eyes? What were some of the consequences of living that way?
- Read Hebrews 12:11. How does God show us His love through His discipline?
- Who is at the wheel in your life - God or you? What is one area of your life where you need to trust that God knows what is best for you?
- Consider Samson’s isolation, selfishness, and destructive behavior. Who are you doing life with? Who are you living for? How are you living?
Will Briggs is the Lead Care Pastor at Southland. In this episode Will and Scott discuss what really makes a man and the importance of being comfortable in your own skin.
Group Questions:
- What activities, hobbies, or interests do you associate with being “manly?” Who comes to mind when you think of “manly" men?
- What is the essence of true, biblical manhood? What kind of man was Jesus (Check out Micah 6:8, Ephesians 5:25, and Revelation 1:12-18)?
- Will mentioned the balance between toughness and tenderness. Who do you know that embodies these characteristics well in their personal and professional life?
- Who has God made you to be - uniquely and creatively? Why do you do what you do? How does comparing our lives to others distract us from living out our God-given purpose?
- What does it mean to be wounded? How has woundedness impacted you and those in your life?
- Read Proverbs 27:17. Will said, “We’re an average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.” What are you becoming like as a result of the people you spend time with?
- Can you identify an area of woundedness that you’d be willing to share with the group? Stop now to pray for Jesus’ healing and restoration for men at Southland.
In this episode Scott and Patrick discuss the important distinction between hopes and expectations.
Group Questions:
- Talk about a time when you had expectations that ended up in disappointment. Share a funny story if you have one.
- What is the difference between hope and expectation? Why does that distinction matter?
- Patrick said, “Expectation is pre-planned disappointment.” Discuss what this means and give a few examples from everyday life. How does hope prevent disappointment? What is the object of our focus when we have expectations? When we have hope?
- Read Psalm 43:5. Discuss a time in your life when you had to release a relationship or circumstance into God’s control and place your hope in God. Is there a desired outcome in your life right now that you need to let go of?
- How does trusting in God’s sovereignty help us when certain expectations are not met in life?
- What did Patrick say are some common coping strategies men use for dealing with unmet expectations?
- Read Habakkuk 3:17-18; John 16:33. What is Habakkuk experiencing here? How does he respond? What did Jesus say about trouble? What is the danger of the prosperity gospel? What might you be trusting in instead of God alone?
- Read Matthew 7:1-6. As a husband, father, friend, or co-worker, are you focusing more on your own flaws or the flaws of the other person? How should you respond to the flaws of the other person?
- What does the New Testament teach us about expectations? Patrick said, “It’s okay to receive love, but it’s not okay to require it.“ Discuss an area in your life where you can apply this.
Brian Lucas is the campus pastor at Southland’s Danville campus. In this episode Brian and Scott talk about Chivalry and face down gender stereotypes that often keep men from stepping up and serving in certain roles.
Group Questions:
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In the podcast, Brian Lucas mentioned his interest in aviation. What is a hobby or interest that you have either pursued or would like to pursue in some free time?
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Brian shared about the time he went to Danville to pray over the launch of Southland's Danville campus. Not long after, he joined Southland's Danville staff. Can you look back and think of a time when God had you in the right place at the right time for something you didn't quite understand yet?
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How did Brian define chivalry? What are some of the "little ways" chivalry plays out in day to day life?
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Who are some examples of chivalrous men in your life? What impact have these men had on you? What did you learn from them?
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What are some distractions that pull you away from living as a servant? What about the distractions that pull you away from pursuing Jesus?
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Brian mentioned that worship can be hard for men. What makes it difficult for us? Read 1 Timothy 2:8. How does Paul say men should engage in worship?
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Read John 13:1-17. How does this passage show Jesus as an example of chivalry? How can you step up to serve your family, the church, and the next generation?
Kurt Braun has one of the coolest titles ever! He also has an amazing life story. Scott and Kurt discuss the unique challenges Kurt has faced from being in New York on 911 to making the transition from the business world to full time ministry.
Group Questions:
- A huge part of Kurt Braun’s testimony is being in New York City on 9/11. Where were you on that day and what do you remember about the day and following week?
- When you hear the word “finances,” what is your first reaction? Do you have peace or anxiety? Do you feel like you have financial freedom and stability, or financial fear and uncertainty?
- Before Kurt came on staff at Southland, he was a Christian man working in the business world, and had some encounters where his faith and work were opposing one another. have you ever been in that situation? What did you learn?
- What tensions do you face at your specific job where you find yourself being torn between maintaining integrity and excelling at work?
- Because of his interactions in NYC on 9/11, Kurt said “we all have those moments in our lives where we maybe get the sense that there is more going on than just what we are witnessing.” Looking back, can you see God’s hand and provision at work in a moment when it seemed he was absent?
- Read Colossians 3:23-24. How can you work with all your heart for the Lord in your current employment? Do you ever struggle with the tension of working for “human masters” and working for the Lord?
- As a Christian, you are the church. Wherever you go, the church goes. When you’re at work, you have an opportunity to bring Jesus into conversations and dealings with people everyday. What are some conversations you know you will have this week and how can you bring Jesus into the conversation?
- A phrase around our church is “do for the one what you wish you could do for the many.” Who is one person you can go above and beyond for this week at your workplace? How can you show them God's love?
Scott, Derrick and Wade discuss the unique opportunities and challenges that single men face.
Group Questions:
- How old were you when you got married? Did you want to get married earlier or later in life, and why? If you are not married, do you wish you were? Or, do you prefer being single, and if so why?
- Read 1 Corinthians 7:7. How does Paul describe singleness? Do Paul’s words line up with the culture’s view of singleness and marriage?
- How does it feel to be single in the church? If you’re married, how do you view single adults in the church? How can single and married adults better love one another in the church?
- Greg Chandler says, “being single gives you the chance (time and freedom) to become whole.” If you are single, how are you moving towards wholeness? How are you using your time and energy? If married, how would you encourage a single person to use that freedom?
- What guys are you sharpening? How are they sharpening you?
- Navigating sexual desires in a healthy and biblical way is a huge struggle for men who are single and married. Why doesn’t marriage fix our sexual struggles? How can men encourage each other to remain pure in singleness and faithful in marriage?
- Read Proverbs 5. Wade said, “Purity is worth it. It’s hard and it takes discipline, but it’s so worth it.” Do you believe this? If not, what is keeping you from it?
- Wade mentioned that being single allows the unique opportunity to honor women and value them in a way that they may not be used to. How are you going to value and take care of the women in your life this week?
Taylor is a former Division 1 basketball player and devoted follower of Jesus. Scott and Taylor discuss value and importance of having good
Group Questions:
- Growing up, what was your favorite sport or hobby? What were your favorite and least favorite teams you were apart of? What is your favorite sports memory of all time?
- How has a coach or mentor influenced your life? What was it about them that made you want to listen to and follow them?
- Taylor mentioned his coach, Tommy Huston, mimicked Jesus' servant attitude. When was a time someone served you? Who is someone you could be serving today? What keeps us from having a humble spirit?
- In life, there are always ups and downs. When was a low moment in your life? And how has God redeemed that or brought reconciliation and healing through the pain?
- The discipleship process is one that never ends. We are always growing more like Christ. Who is someone that is pouring into you? If no one, who is someone you could ask? Who is someone that you could be pouring into?
- When was a time that you were misunderstood, or judged by someone from a different generation? Is there a generation that you have a harder time understanding? If so, why?
- This week, what is one way that you could humble yourself and serve your family? What is one way that you could invest in someone of the next generation?
Aaron is a leader with FCA at the University of Kentucky, a husband and a father. Scott and Aaron discuss our identity and purpose apart from vocation and deal with the question, “why do I do what I do?”
Group Questions:
- Who are some of the great coaches or mentors you’ve had? What made them impactful in your life?
- The questions Aaron loves to ask coaches are: Why do you coach? What’s your purpose? Why do you coach the way you coach? What does it feel like to be coached that way? Substitute your roles in life: husband, father, leader, etc. Why do you do what you do?
- Passion will run out, but purpose will sustain you. What does that mean for your life? Are you fueled by passion or purpose?
- “There are three hard things: Steel. Diamonds. And to know one’s self.” - Benjamin Franklin. Who is helping you see the blind spots in your life?
- Read Ecclesiastes 4:8-12. How does this passage speak about purpose? Why do we need others in our lives?
- Men tend to isolate themselves. Looking for an escape or driven by fear we think we are pursuing safety. We’re actually putting ourselves in real danger. Where do you see this in your own life?
- How can you be more intentional in your relationships this week (at home, at work, at church, etc.)? Share some good practices.
- Aaron ends with a question - would you rather have a map or a mentor? Who is someone you could ask to invest in you?
Dave is a pastor and author. Dave will talk about how to build strong dating and marriage relationships.
Group Questions:
- Discuss Dave’s seven keys to a successful marriage:
- Pray together every day. (Spiritual Leadership)
- Answer the phone when she calls. (Availability)
- Turn off the phone when you're together. (Distractions)
- Be playful and fun. (Joy)
- Be an encourager, not a critic. (Build Up)
- Always be there for each other. (Covenant)
- Never give up on each other. (Commitment)
- Which of these keys is easiest for you? Hardest?
- Is it easier to pray for your wife or with her? Why?
- How does technology currently impact your marriage?
- Would people around you know that you prioritize your wife by what you say and do?
- How do you currently handle conflict in your marriage? What are some healthy ways you can manage conflict? What unhealthy practices do you need to guard against?
- Read Ephesians 5:25-26.
- We are called to give, pursue, and forgive with radical grace. As a group pray for one another to do that in our marriages.
Scott walks us through some important applications from the life of Joseph from the Old Testament.
Group Questions:
- Read Genesis 39:8-9 & 50:19-21. Carve out some time to read Genesis 37-50 individually this week.
- Read Psalm 51:3-4. How did David view his sin? Who did he realize he had sinned against?
- How does our perspective of who we are sinning against change our view of sin?
- Do you see God as the One you are ultimately accountable to?
- How did Joseph keep from becoming bitter and resentful? What perspective did he have of God?
- Do you believe God is able to redeem even the worst and most painful moments in your life?
- Scott defines integrity as the "consistency of who you are in private with who you are in public." Many times in Joseph’s story, he is in positions of leadership, authority and power. How does he act with integrity in those positions?
- Where are you most tempted to compromise your integrity?
- Pray together to be men who see God's sovereignty this week. Ask God to help you live with integrity at home and in the workplace.
Scott and Patrick talk specifically about the importance of acknowledging your sexual history.
Group Questions:
- This episode uncovers some deep and hurtful experiences such as sexual abuse, same-sex attraction, and childhood abuse. If you are in a group setting, be aware that this is sensitive for many people to discuss. Reach out to the Southland staff if someone in your group wants or needs to discuss further.
- In Patrick’s book ‘Grace and Sexuality’ he says, “To be born into the American culture is to be born into trauma”. Do you agree with his thoughts?
- Why is there so much shame associated with our sexual history? Why do we want to hide and cover up?
- How early would you say your first sexual experiences occurred?
- Were you taught about your sexual desires as a child? Who talked to you about how to express them in a healthy way? If not, where did you learn from?
- There’s a big difference in these two sayings: “Sex is dirty and let’s not talk about it,” and “God created sex. He created our bodies this way and he created marriage between and man and a woman. What a great God we serve!” Which view resonates with you? Why?
- Patrick said, “I am what happened to me, but what choices and decisions do I have now to glorify God?” How could that perspective help us move past our sexual histories?
- Read 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7.
- How can your sexual struggles help you put your trust in God rather than being a victim?
Scott walks us through some important applications from the life of Abram/Abraham.
Group Questions:
- Read Genesis 12:1-9
- Think through the practicality of God calling Abram to “leave and go to the land that I will show you”. Who did he have to talk to? What was their response? How long did this take? What if God said that to you today?
- God’s command doesn’t start with much clarity, but becomes clearer as he trusts God and walks in obedience. Has that ever been true in your walk with God?
- Scott points out the names of the places Abram is between: “Bethel” = house of God and “Ai” = ruin. Throughout your day do you think of how your decisions are leading you to God or away from God? Are you going to walk in obedience toward God or are you going to takes steps in disobedience away from God. One leads to ruin/destruction and one leads to life/joy/peace.
- Read Genesis 12:10-20 & 16:1-6
- When things got difficult Abram leaves and takes things into his own hands. Scott notes that we want to control things and we value self-preservation. How was Abram’s decision driven by fear?
- Abraham is one of those Bible characters that we tend to hold up as a hero. How does it affect your view of him when we read about all the times he disobeyed God? What does it say about God that he chooses this man to be the father of the nation of Israel?
- Look back at decisions in your past when you’ve been at a crossroads to trust God or take things into your own hands. When you have disobeyed and made decisions from a lack of trust what happened? Who suffered because of your decision? What have been the consequences?
- On the flip side, what about the times you have trusted Him and obeyed? Who has benefitted from those decisions? What have been the results of that obedience?
AJ is a professional baseball player. AJ will talk about how to be patient during difficult seasons of life.
Group Questions:
- AJ talked about patience during his baseball career and shared about the moments of frustration, bitterness and feeling upset. Why is patience so unnatural for us?
- Would you consider yourself a patient person?
- Do the people around you add fuel to the fire when you are complaining? Do they agree with your thoughts of unfairness and entitlement?
- Or do the people around you encourage you when you’re down? Are they people who are going to help you make wise decisions? Walk with the wise and you’ll grow wise.
- Are you being that kind of friend to any guys in your life? Who is it?
- AJ talked a lot about the company that you keep.
- When AJ’s friend Travis reminded him “You don’t write your story. Your job is to serve”, it became a turning point in his life. How does the idea of entitlement: “ I deserve, I deserve, I deserve” fight against the mentality of “I’m here to serve”?
- Read and discuss 1 Peter 5:6-10
- How can we practically improve/grow in our patience? Are the things around us helping us or hurting us in that pursuit?
Dan is the Campus Leader for Southland’s Georgetown campus. Scott and Dan talk about learning to be fully present with those around us.
Group Questions:
- When you ask people how they are doing, how do people typically respond?
- Do you tend to value tasks and projects too highly? Do you tend to validate “being busy” as a good thing?
- Do you shrug off personal time with Jesus because you are too busy?
- What types of friendships do you have (lifelong, surface level, seasonal, etc)?
- Is this something you see men struggling with?
- Are you “friend-poor and acquaintance-rich” as Dan put it?
- What do good, healthy, deep friendships look like?
- Are you really known well? Do you actually know anyone else really well?
- Read Galatians 4:8-9. How should being known by God affect us?
- Do you attach your value to job success, children’s involvement, or other external factors?
- How can you be more present with your wife, your kids, and with your friends this week?
Jason is a former ESPN Producer and author of Live to Forgive which is available now (www.jasonromano.com/book). Jason will talk about the difficulty and freedom in forgiving his alcoholic dad.
Discussion Questions
- Working at ESPN, Jason got to meet a lot of athletes and celebrities. Who would be your favorite athlete to meet and hang out with for a day?
- Jason shares about his broken relationship with his dad due to divorce and alcohol. What is your relationship with your dad like?
- Discuss the four stages of forgiveness:
- Feeling the Pain - not masking pain and acting like it’s not there, but opening up about anger, sadness, frustration, disappointment.
- Evaluating the Trauma - evaluate and see what has happened, take inventory, identify what has been affected, developing healthy boundaries.
- Transforming the Wound - moving from the feelings and effects you have towards forgiveness rather than lashing out or feeling entitled to the hurt.
- Forgiving the Abuser - letting go of the bitterness, not condoning their behavior, freeing yourself and following the example we see in scripture of God forgiving us.
- Read Ephesians 4:31-32 and Colossians 3:13. How do these verses speak about forgiveness?
- Jon mentioned breaking a cycle when we forgive. How have you this cycle in a relationship yourself?
- Jason shared about his career change when he finally surrendered his plans and said “yes” to what God wanted. Do you feel like you have done that in your own work career? Are you doing what God has called you to do?
- Do you agree with this statement: “Forgiveness is not a weakness, it is a strength”? Does our culture agree with that?
- Fun question to end on: Who is your favorite BIble character and why?
Scott walks us through some important applications from the life of Adam.
Discussion Questions
- Do you tend to over spiritualize Bible characters or put them on a pedestal as Bible heroes?
- Read Genesis 1:26-3:19.
- What aspects of Adam and Eve’s story resonate with you?
- Have you ever stopped to consider that we were created to rule creation? To work? To care?
- God has given us meaning, purpose, and a call to something that matters. Do you feel that you are living that way?
- We were meant to be image bearers of God? How should men reflect God’s character?
- We have a tendency towards passivity. How does being passive negatively contribute to our roles as men?
- What sinful tendencies have we inherited from Adam?
- Spend some time sharing how you can be actively engaged in your spheres of influence this week.
Patrick is a professional counselor and author of the book Grace and Sexuality. Scott and Patrick discuss some of the major challenges men face in the realm of sexuality.
Group Questions:
- Fire belongs in a fireplace. In the right context sex is a great thing and an awesome gift from God. In the wrong context it has more potential to harm and to damage than probably anything else. Read Ephesians 5:1-17.
- Repression model: If you have a desire you have to shut it down and pretend it’s not there.
- Sex is shameful, dirty and bad. So save it for the one you love.
- Do whatever feels good. Sex is just a physical act between two consenting adults. Live it up now while you can.
- Sexuality is good and important. God created sex. God does give us parameters and commands us to flee sexual immorality but it’s always for our benefit.
- We all have natural sexual desires, but what are we supposed to do with these desires? Talk through these different teachings:
- Which of these views were you taught growing up? How has your view changed?
- Scott talked about how we often go into “sin management mode,” addressing symptoms but not actually treating the root causes. Why is that not the best way to deal with sin?
- An inherent weakness with men is sharing about our sexual issues. We try to compartmentalize and privatize them. Have you seen this tendency in your own life?
- How have you typically tried to overcome sexual temptations?
- Patrick talked about creating an “airtight plan” for yourself to remove opportunities to look at sexually explicit content. Discuss with the group what your plan will be.
- Are you spending your time doing meaningful things (developing relationships, working out, Bible study, time with family, fishing, hunting, reading, etc) or mind-numbing things (video games, scrolling through social media, etc)?
- Patrick reminds us that “The healing doesn’t start until the last lie is told.” Have you taken ownership of your sexual issues and stopped lying about them?
- Are you harboring any secrets? It’s very unlikely that you will experience any success in this area unless you bring it out in the open. You will experience God’s grace like you never dreamed of. On the other side of confession is such freedom and relief. All you need is “10 seconds of courage!”
KJ is the Campus Leader of Southland’s Lexington Campus. Scott and KJ discuss KJ’s diagnosis with MS along with things he’s learned along the way about doing difficult things.
Group Questions:
- KJ talks about overcoming Multiple Sclerosis and how that opened his eyes to unhealthy exercise and eating habits. How are you doing in those areas? Do you have good habits?
- What are the benefits of doing difficult things? How does it impact your character?
- Read Luke 10:27. Everything about us should bring glory to God (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually). Why did Jesus address each of these areas?
- It’s easy to compartmentalize and say something like, “I’m spiritually fit but I don’t need to be physically fit.” Why is that faulty thinking?
- How does taking care of yourself physically affect how you interact with others?
- Read Luke 6:45. Do you believe that what you put in is what is going to flow out? Have you seen that principle to be true in your day-to-day life?
- KJ talks about overcoming his perception and realizing things about himself that he needed to change. That is not an easy thing to do and be honest about. What areas in your life may God be calling you to change?
- At the end of the podcast KJ challenged guys to think through their friendships. Do you have true friendships with other guys who are helping you follow Jesus, love your wife and kids? Or are they just acquaintances? How are your friendships?
Derrick is the Campus leader at Southland’s Nicholasville campus as well as a father of four. Scott and Derrick discuss what they’ve learned as fathers.
Group Questions:
- For fathers in the group: What was it like when you got the news that you were going to become a dad? What was it like when you held that baby in your arms for the first time?
- Most fathers feel very inadequate, unprepared, and not in control when they are starting off as parents. Did you share those feelings? How did it humble you?
- How has fatherhood helped you understand God’s heart as a Heavenly Father?
- Read Matthew 6:6-9. How does Jesus teach us to address God?
- Parents see things from a different perspective than their kids. Share a time when your kids have been wrong or are doing something they think is good that is clearly not good for them. How do we do this with God?
- Derrick talks about the story of Abraham and Isaac. Read about it in Genesis 22:1-19.
- What would you have done in that situation? Why was God testing Abraham like this?
- Have you ever been guilty of “Identity Parenting?"
- Discuss the differences you’ve experienced between parenting boys and parenting girls.
- When was the last time you just took your kids “out for ice cream” solely to spend quality time with them?
- How are you loving your wife well so your kids see your example? Are you making her a bigger priority than your kids?
- Do your kids see you reading scripture and praying?
Chris is the Lead executive pastor at Southland. Scott and Chris discuss the essence of manhood.
Group Questions:
- Chris and Scott talked about mowing the lawn when they were younger. What was one of your first responsibilities or chores as a child?
- Who has modeled responsibility well in your life? A parent? A coach? A family member? A mentor?
- Responsibility seems to be part of the essence of manhood since it was hard wired into us at creation. How would you define responsibility? Does it seem to come natural to you or not?
- Read Deuteronomy 22:1-4 and the parables in Matthew 25:1-30. How do these passages speak to our call to be responsible?
- Is responsibility a Godly trait? How so?
- Talk about the courage and resolve it takes to own a decision you've made? Share an example of a time you did this, even when it was difficult.
- Many men abdicate spiritual leadership in the home either for not knowing how to do it well or fear of failure. How have you done this? How can you take more responsibility for spiritual leadership in your home?
- Something doesn’t have to be your fault for you to take responsibility for it. Jesus took ultimate responsibility for our sin. Are there things in your life that you are ignoring or think is someone else’s problem that you could take responsibility for?
- Chris reminds us to be men who always bring solutions to problems instead of being people that just point out problems. How is this easy or difficult for you?
- If you’re a younger man, how can you pursue responsibility? If you’re older, who can you hand responsibility to? Who can you help teach and grow?
Mitch is the athletic director at the University of Kentucky. Mitch and Scott discuss what Mitch has learned over the years about the challenges young men face.
Discussion Questions:
In today's podcast, Scott said, “If you do not initiate your young men into the tribe, they will come back and burn down the village just to feel the heat.” Take a moment to discuss what he means. Have you ever seen this happen?
What are some "rites of passage" used in today's culture - positive or negative? Did you experience any “rite of passage” into manhood?
Talk about a challenge you had in life that forced you to grow up and become a man. How did that challenge shape you?
It’s easy for athletes to define their identity based on athletic success, but it’s not just an issue for athletes. How do you attach your identity to your success? Why are we prone to do that?
When things get hard men are always tempted to avoid responsibility and shift the blame. What are the results when we do that? What happens when we take ownership?
Do you learn well from your mistakes? We don’t have game film to go back and see exactly where we messed up, so how can we help each other learn from these moments?
Read and discuss Hebrews 12:7-11.
Scott and Mitch talked about the epidemic of fatherlessness. Who invested in you growing up? How did it make a difference in your life?
How are you investing in the next generation of men?
Jon is the lead follower at Southland. Jon and Scott discuss the importance of manhood in the church.
Discussion Questions:
Share a funny locker room story. What’s the best or worst locker room you’ve been part of?
The goal of this podcast is to redeem men’s conversations. How do men's conversations in today's culture need to be redeemed?
As men, we are specifically challenged with responsibility - in our personal lives, in our homes, in the church, in the business world. In which area do you see men abdicating responsibility the most?
For most men, the biggest temptations come in the areas of pride and lust. How does this threaten the spiritual vitality of men?
Jon mentions Solomon in today's podcast. If you aren’t familiar with Solomon’s life, read about it this week in 1 Kings 1-11. For today’s group discussion read 1 Kings 10:23-11:6, Deuteronomy 17:14-17 & Ecclesiastes 2:1-11.
Solomon "had it all" - wine, women & wealth. He found that each of these was a dead end. What can we learn from his experiences?
Solomon’s life is a story of slow compromise leading to disaster. As he went through life, his heart became insensitive. You’ll never see yourself going down the road of no return. No one ever sets out to ruin their life on purpose, and certainly not to ruin anyone else’s. But it happens all the time. How are you going to take ownership of your own life and live a life of radical obedience to God?
Pray for the men in your group and the men of our church to be Godly men of integrity and character.