Resuscitate Your Marriage: Love Rx for Physicians: Recent Episodes
Drs. Novitsky
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky are passionate about helping busy marriages involving physicians balance personal-life and professional responsibilities by optimizing communication and promoting mind-body synergy.
We greet you from a whole different world since our last episode. Covid-19 has taken the world by storm and it is creating fear and anxiety in many of us. Today we want to provide you with practical ways that you can take a mindful approach to be in the moment, decrease your anxiety, and become in control of your microcosm.
Tune in to learn about our Covid-19 anxiety protocol and all the ways you can find balance and opportunities to exert control in such a chaotic time in our world. Everything from tips to help your children enjoy this time and live in the moment rather than hiding your emotions from them to exciting information about the Mind Body Marriage membership program and a new podcast in the works is covered in this episode!
If you are looking for ways to create certainty and handle your rational fear in the wake of this pandemic, this is an episode you can’t miss. What techniques are you implementing to keep the peace at home and keep your anxiety at bay? Share your story with us in the comments section of the episode page.
In This Episode
- How the MBM thought model can help during times of confusion and stress
- Bringing the front of the line workers and their circumstances to the forefront
- Ways to use the thought model to handle negative emotions and rational fear
- Practical ways that you can combat your Covid-19 anxiety and negative emotions
- A look into what our membership entails and how to show up every day
- Tips for talking to your kids about Covid-19 and creating a proactive environment
Quotes
“I think now more than ever people need that support and that community.” (1:34)
“What we teach people to do is say ‘hey listen, there is that anxiety, it feels super uncomfortable, but even just taking a moment and describing if its fast or slow, the color, the vibration, the shape even, really what it allows you to do is be present with that feeling and from there it doesn’t become so powerful anymore.” (7:41)
“This is a time when we are modeling how to handle uncertainty, how to handle these fears for the other people in our lives.” (11:28)
“When people look back at this time in history, we will have the opportunity to yes focus on all of the fear and the disruptions with our normal lives. But then there is also the opportunity that has been granted to us to change some of the aspects of our daily life that could use some improvement.” (16:03)
“You’re not setting yourself up for disappointment by thinking positive. You are actually setting yourself up to have a good day today, and that’s all we can really change is our outlook in the moment.” (26:41)
Links
Let Ali know you are interested in her membership at dr.ali@mindbodymarriage.com
Sign Up for the MBM Course Here
Check out the full post for this episode
Find Resuscitate Your Marriage Online
Follow Dr. Ali Novitsky and Resuscitate Your Marriage on Facebook | Instagram
Mind Body Marriage
Novitsky MD
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky, a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional Psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicians and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at www.mindbodymarriage.com
Dr. Sonia Wright is like four experts in one, working as a trained sexual counselor, certified physician life coach, radiologist, and ex-sex toy store employee. Her expertise when it comes to sex and sexual dysfunction associated with emotional pain and isolation can help you rekindle the sexual intimacy in your relationship, address the emotional components of any sexual issues and investigate alternative lifestyle interests.
A passionate physician coach who has a gift for taking difficult and personal topics and creating comfortable spaces around it, Sonia is passionate about helping you with everything related to sex. From vibrators to body acceptance and how to feel connected to your partner, Sonia is a wealth of knowledge that wants to help you remember the fun and pleasurable aspects of sex.
Instead of sex being the elephant in the room of your marriage, Sonia is here to provide some practical tips and real talk to help you start putting sex on your ‘for you’ list instead of your to-do list. If you are looking for a way to reignite your passion for life, relationships, commitment and so much more, Sonia is the expert you need to hear from.
Are you ready to change the way you feel about sex by altering your mindset? Share what you learned from Dr. Sonia on this episode in the comments section of the episode page.
In This Episode
- Common themes when it comes to desire discrepancy in a partnership
- Understanding you and your partners changing libido and sexual desires
- The importance of focusing on sexual pleasure, fun, communication, and intimacy
- Focusing on self-care, body confidence and celebrating the clitoris
- How to work on your sexual relationship from many different inner angles
Quotes
“What I try to do is blend the skill set that I have from being a life coach, and focusing on the skill set I learned as a sexual counselor to bring it all together.” (4:46)
“Remind them of the fun, bring it back to pleasure, and focus on general pleasure.” (9:02)
“Society has a concept of what is beautiful and what is sexy, and most body types don’t fit that, and it’s really not about what society says, it’s about what you think about yourself.” (12:50)
“This is where I do want to focus on the pleasure because that is what is going to lead to more connection and communication with your partner. And in order to focus on pleasure, you need to know your body and what is pleasurable for your body.” (19:17)
“There is nothing wrong with you, your body works well, it is amazing. It’s just that connection between your mind and your body.” (21:44)
“We will figure this out. It will be okay, we will laugh, we will cry, and we will get it done!” (24:50)
Links
The Passionate Physician Coach Website
The Smitten Kitten Website
Book a Free Consultation with Sonia Here
Contact Sonia at sonia@soniawrightmd.com
Sign Up for the MBM Course Here
Check out the full post for this episode
Find Resuscitate Your Marriage Online
Follow Dr. Ali Novitsky and Resuscitate Your Marriage on Facebook | Instagram
Mind Body Marriage
Novitsky MD
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky, a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional Psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicians and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at www.mindbodymarriage.com
We are back home after a magical week in Grand Cayman, and we cannot wait to recreate the experiences we shared there on our upcoming Mind Body Marriage Couple Retreat. One of the main focuses of our intimate and explorative couples retreats is the practice of setting ‘couple goals’ for you and your partner.
In this episode, we dive into what it takes to create ‘couple goals’ and establishing a roadmap to where you want to go together. By making the most of the time you have together and focusing on your understanding, communication and conflict resolution, you can figure out who you are individually and within your role as a couple.
If you feel like you and your partner on not necessarily on the same page, now is the time to avoid freaking out and take the opportunity to dive into what is and isn’t working so that you can check in with your partner in a productive way. By believing in yourself in an epic fashion and setting goals, you can give yourself and your partner the things that you both need to move forward as your best selves individually and as a couple.
Have you ever practiced setting couple goals? Share your experience with us in the comments section on the episode page.
In This Episode
- A peek into our upcoming Mind Body Marriage Couples Retreat
- How to talk about and create ‘couple goals’ for you and your partner
- Tips for avoiding falling into old patterns and how to start making new habits
- Ways to turn your perspective from being the victim to being the bigger person
- How to define who you are as an individual inside of your relationship
Quotes
“Now to be able to help enrich other couples’ lives through our work is really exciting stuff.” (2:29)
“Even though we nurture each other on the daily basis, we hadn’t really spent some time to really decide what we really want for the future, what kind of progress can we make together and what do we need to work on?” (4:45)
“Sometimes if you actually just put your ego aside and show a little bit of affection, for example, it can really turn a lot of things around.” (11:57)
“It’s so easy to see like ‘oh they have a podcast about resuscitating your marriage’, but it’s not that we have it all figured out either. Its that we resuscitate it every day.” (17:03)
“We really have to understand who we are before we can even begin to understand who we are as a couple.” (18:00)
Links
Sign Up for the MBM Course Here
Check out the full post for this episode
Find Resuscitate Your Marriage Online
Follow Dr. Ali Novitsky and Resuscitate Your Marriage on Facebook | Instagram
Mind Body Marriage
Novitsky MD
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky, a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional Psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicians and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at www.mindbodymarriage.com
We are live from Grand Cayman at the Women Physician Wellness Conference, and today’s episode is all about human connection. Human connection is something that many are searching for, and can prevent burnout and remind us how precious life is and what we need to prioritize.
By asking the partners of women physicians how they support and encourage self-doubt and appreciating value we can see in ourselves past the mirror. Self-love is a lifelong commitment to working on your thoughts, and self-acceptance comes through doing the hard work to push past your insecurities.
Connection with your partner and with yourself is something that you have to constantly work on, but it can help you enjoy life in a way you never imagined. It is all about defining your values, putting things in perspective and fixing the relationship we have with ourselves so that you can evaluate your thoughts and change the way you feel.
Are you ready to work on your relationship with yourself for the benefit of your health and your partner? Share the role human connection plays in your happiness in the comments section on the episode page.
In This Episode
- A preview into Ali’s talk at the Women Physician Wellness Conference
- Recognizing the importance of the relationship you have with yourself
- How to have your own back and improve your relationship with yourself
- The number reason we lose connection with people we really love
- Ways to evaluate your own reality, get into your feelings and stop reacting
Quotes
“We try to go ahead and fix all of these different relationships in our lives that we think there is a problem with, the thing that we forget to do is work on the relationship we have with ourselves.” (1:21)
“Women being critical being critical of themselves, women physicians when they look in the mirror, and they are not liking what they see, how does a partner handle that?” (8:38)
“Anybody who is considering going on some kind of retreat/conference for CME credit that is also looking to have great human connection and maybe even with their significant other or their partner, this is one to check out.” (14:38)
“How we feel creates how we act, and actions ultimately are what we need to get results that we want. So evaluation of that whole triad when you are ready is going to be how you’re going to ultimately find your own truth.” (19:00)
“All too often if we are stuck in silos then change is not going to happen unless we make that change occur.” (23:14)
Links
MyPMG Website
8 Week Fitness Challenge
Sign Up for the MBM Course Here
Check out the full post for this episode
Find Resuscitate Your Marriage Online
Follow Dr. Ali Novitsky and Resuscitate Your Marriage on Facebook | Instagram
Mind Body Marriage
Novitsky MD
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky, a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional Psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicians and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at www.mindbodymarriage.com
We are fresh off the plane returning from the Physician Moms Group Conference in San Antonio, Texas, and what an experience it was! We are so thrilled about the amazing women we met and stories we heard that today’s episode is all about giving you a peek inside what we learned.
If you would love a recap of Ali’s speech on the top five cognitive distortions of female physicians, want to gain insight on transforming your lives for the healthier, or just want to support fellow women physicians, this is the episode for you.
When it comes to your health, fitness, and happiness, we are here to help you invest in yourself and find the peace that you desire. Through this podcast and conferences such as the Physician Moms Group, you can make the changes necessary to live the life that you are dreaming of.
Have you ever attended a conference that changed the way you think about your business? Let us know your story in the comments section on the episode page.
In This Episode
- Big news and announcements for the upcoming MBM community
- Gain a recap from the PMG conference we recently attended
- Step by step tools to help you live your best life every day
- Shoutouts to those we met at PMG and some of our most loyal followers
- Learn why we love to support fellow female physicians and what you can do to get involved
Quotes
“Just to see all these other women who are also physicians but who are really dedicating their careers now to really helping other women physicians find their way, find their passion, find their creativity, find time, find wellness and find health. (2:48)
“That’s really what we aim to do here on this podcast, we try to be real with you all as we always do and just let you know that you are not alone, that is why it’s so good to have the community, you get to find out it happens to all of us.” (5:52)
“Taking the power back for your body, taking the power back for your food, for your exercise, for your other relationships, for your job, I could go on and on. That is what it is!” (15:56)
“I think really the moral of today’s episode is when life gives you lemons, it’s so sour, but then you go ahead and make some delicious vodka-infused lemonade!” (20:45)
Links
MyPMG Website
8 Week Fitness Challenge
Sign Up for the MBM Course Here
Check out the full post for this episode
Find Resuscitate Your Marriage Online
Follow Dr. Ali Novitsky and Resuscitate Your Marriage on Facebook | Instagram
Mind Body Marriage
Novitsky MD
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky, a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional Psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicians and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at www.mindbodymarriage.com
We bring you back to our Fight Night series to dive into a specific fight that you may not have considered before. Fighting against yourself in the battle of the scarcity mindset can be detrimental to your relationship with others and with yourself, and it is only by recognizing the symptoms of a scarcity mindset that you can begin to break these self-destructing patterns.
Instead of constantly focusing on the idea that you ‘may not have enough’, we are here today to remind you of your ability to change your own perspective and work on your own thoughts. While change may bring anxiety, it is only by embracing the new that you can get out of your rut and inner ego.
There are a lot of ways to think outside of the box when it comes to making money and getting over a money scarcity mentality. Instead of feeling pressured or trapped into making a snap decision that perpetuates your fears, this episode is all about challenging the way you think to create a system that works better for your specific needs. Everything from money scarcity to option and time scarcity could be limiting the way you think about the world, and it is time to stop these mindset patterns in their tracks.
Are you willing to try a new way of thinking that may ultimately benefit you, your mindset and your way of life? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section on the episode page.
In This Episode
- Learn about the scarcity mindset and the role it can play in your relationships
- What to do if you have a money scarcity mindset and want to transform your outlook
- Why you need to stop associating time and money as interdependent factors
- How to get over the ‘grass is greener’ mentality and be happy for what you have
- Addressing the overwhelm surrounding financial status and other scarcity mindsets
- What to do if your partner has scarcity issues and how to work on it together
Quotes
“You could have a thousand dollars in the bank or a million dollars in the bank if you have that money scarcity mindset at a thousand dollars and you don’t change that mindset when you have a million dollars you are going to have the same mindset.” (4:50)
“People believe that they really do have to give up all of their time in order to have money. It is not an all or nothing phenomenon.” (6:06)
“When I am hiring coaches and when I am hiring people to help me, I want to pay them because I am going to get better results if I feel like I am investing in something that I really believe in.” (16:08)
“When I know that I have multiple different areas that I am able to really help people and help people in different ways, it feels really refreshing and it feels really just exciting, it feels that there are even more possibilities that are available.” (21:01)
Links
Register for the Mind Body Marriage Relationship Boot Camp Here
Join The September Couples Retreat Here
Check out the full post for this episode
Find Resuscitate Your Marriage Online
Follow Dr. Ali Novitsky and Resuscitate Your Marriage on Facebook | Instagram
Mind Body Marriage
Novitsky MD
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky, a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional Psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicians and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at www.mindbodymarriage.com
Today we interrupt our Fight Night series to bring you a very special guest with a whole new perspective on love. Chris Rhoad is a superfan of the show, good friend and a single listener. Chris believes in holding out and waiting for the right partner despite your sexual orientation or standards and is here today to share his story with us.
Instead of settling for second best, Chris wants to encourage you to absorb the tools from this how and learn how to maneuver the obstacles in your own psyche so that you can start living as your true authentic self.
Embracing your vulnerability and putting yourself out there is key to unlocking the wonderful, positive, life-transforming things that are waiting to happen to you. By addressing the fear of the unknown, being confident in your decision to wait for the one, or just applying the tips of this show, you can stop getting in your own way and help yourself find true happiness.
How do you implement the advice given on this show into your relationship with yourself, same-sex partner or hetero partner? Share your experience with us in the comments on the episode page.
In This Episode
- How to get the most out of the advice shared on this show even if you are single
- Explore the nerve-wracking backstory behind Chris’s coming out video
- Unpacking the relief that comes with the vulnerability of being open about your sexuality
- Advice for listeners who have been told their standards are too high
Quotes
“The more information I can put into my own toolbox on how to navigate those issues, then I believe the more successful I will become at the end of the day.” (4:31)
“Just because of the world we live in today, and how judgemental society can be, I think it was important for myself to just reaffirm to myself and my friends and my family that this is who I am, this is what you get.” (7:19)
“If you are willing to remove the idea that it is a male and a female couple presenting this information if you can just take the information for what it’s worth and apply it to your everyday life like I have, it is beneficial.” (15:59)
Links
Sign up for the Mind Body Maintenance Course
Watch Novitsky ND Boutique Videos Live Here
Follow Novitsky ND on Facebook
Check out the full post for this episode
Find Resuscitate Your Marriage Online
Follow Dr. Ali Novitsky and Resuscitate Your Marriage on Facebook | Instagram
Mind Body Marriage
Novitsky MD
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky, a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional Psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicians and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at www.mindbodymarriage.com
Today’s episode is about how to handle a difference in parenting. This is another topic that is really inevitable. Both parents were raised differently and as a result, they will not always be on the same page when it comes to parenting. One parent might be more anxious than the other, one might be calmer in stressful situations, etc. This can create tension if you’re not prepared.
Here are the steps Ali suggests to do to squash that tension if it does exist because of parenting differences:
- Release the resentment and release all of the negativity that has evolved in the differences with your parenting for you to be able to get on the same page.
- From there, you have to identify how they want to show up as a mom/parent.
- Communicating that to your significant other and discussing how to achieve that.
Another topic we cover is how to handle it when your children attempt to manipulate you. For example, when a parent is tired and loses the inner fight, and then gives in to the child manipulation, that will teach them to keep persisting and keep asking. So how can you manage these situations in the moment? And how can you prepare beforehand to either avoid or squash the manipulation quickly and in a healthy way?
We also discuss that it’s okay to know and admit your own limits. There are times where we need to tap out, and that’s valid. It’s important to be able to ask for help in those times.
What have you done in your marriage/partnership that has helped you with your parenting differences? What are some boundaries you’ve set with your kids that are successful? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!
In This Episode:
- The benefits of exposure therapy. Every child is different and they have their own way of thinking.
- The importance of having ongoing conversations to get on the same page for specific ways to handle situations with the kids. Have a parenting meeting together regularly to make sure you’re discussing things that will really benefit the whole family.
- What to do if parents are not on the same page.
Quotes:
“A little communication before-hand goes a long way.”
“Teams are not cohesive if they’re not practicing.”
“The whole idea about being open is that asking for help is not a weakness.”
“Expectations for kids are a really good thing because it’s saying ‘I believe in you, I believe you are capable of doing this.’”
Links:
Sign up for the Mind Body Maintenance Course
Check out the full post for this episode
Find Resuscitate Your Marriage Online
Follow Dr. Ali Novitsky and Resuscitate Your Marriage on Facebook | Instagram
Mind Body Marriage
Novitsky MD
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky, a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional Psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicians and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at www.mindbodymarriage.com
Is there anything worse than hitting your max capacity? YES! When your partner is at theirs, too. Two people at their max capacity are almost certainly going to have an argument that’s fueled by stress and anxiety. So what do you do?
When you’re at your maximum emotional capacity, you’re feeling stretched too thin, stressed out, anxious about everything, and let’s be honest, probably pretty irritable. If your partner is feeling the same way, without addressing it, you’re nearly guaranteed to butt heads.
That’s why you need to recognize when you’re nearing (or have already reached) your max capacity and actually admit it to yourself and your partner. Acknowledging the fact that you’re at your max might be scary, but your partner will appreciate the openness.
Next, you need to figure out what’s happened to get you to this point and once you do, explain this to your partner as well. Then, how can you work your way back from the max? Maybe take some time to sit down and write it out. Definitely set some goals that will help you work it out within yourself.
If you have had an argument with your partner while you’re both at your max, recognizing their perspective will help you resolve it. When you can see things from their angle and try to understand why they’ve reacted the way they have, you can work through your difference in a much healthier way.
For us, we tend to argue more when we haven’t prioritized some couple alone time. It might sound like a luxury for you to schedule this time alone and child-free, but for us, this is a necessity and something we miss when we don’t get it. We both find that when we spend alone time together, we’re much more communicative and stresses, anxieties, and issues don’t build-up to an argument.
Lastly, forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for what happens during an argument and what it’s taken to get there. We all go through periods where we’re at maximum capacity and honestly, it’s okay. Learning to accept that it’s going to happen to you will help you work through it.
How do you deal with reaching your maximum capacity? Can you communicate with your partner about how you’re feeling? What do you need to do to work your way back from the brink?
In This Episode:
- What happens when you reach your maximum emotional capacity
- Why you need to recognize and admit to your partner when you’re at max capacity
- Why you need to figure out why you’re at max capacity so you can talk to your partner about it
- How you can set goals to help work through your max capacity
- How realizing your partner’s perspective can help you work out the argument
- What happens to your relationship when you prioritize couple time
- Why you need to forgive yourself for any arguments you have with your partner
Quotes:
“Giving yourself that time to really dig deep and figure out what the heck is going on for you that you’ve hit your max capacity is super important when you’re really trying to work on your relationship.” (13:27)
“It’s not that suddenly you figure out how to handle your anxiety and it disappears. It’s a matter of you’re just better at fighting it.” (20:42)
“Sometimes you don’t have to say anything, it’s really in our actions and in our body language and how we say things that can really make the other person understand that you want to support them.” (21:45)
“If you both are going at a pace that potentially is spinning you out of control, where can you get help?” (26:35)
Links:
Sign up for the Mind Body Maintenance Course
Check out the full post for this episode
Find Resuscitate Your Marriage Online
Follow Dr. Ali Novitsky and Resuscitate Your Marriage on Facebook | Instagram
Mind Body Marriage
Novitsky MD
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky, a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional Psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicans and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at: www.mindbodymarriage.com
We’re back with Round 5 of The Fight Series! Today we are talking about a topic that can be really difficult for a lot of people. We are going to tackle the fight over intimacy. With this, it’s really important to acknowledge that people have different expectations and different needs.
One of the most common downfalls when it comes to intimacy is comparison. It is easy to look around you and compare yourself to other couples who may appear really into each other, and think to yourself ‘I bet they have sex all the time, what’s wrong with us?’ It’s also easy to compare yourself to how you were as newlyweds or early on in the relationship. So it is so important to communicate with each other to really understand where each of you feels about your current intimacy and if there are needs not being met, how to correct that in a way that works for both partners.
Now, this can be a really hard conversation to have. Most people don’t want to have it because they feel inadequate in one way or another. We suggest starting out the conversation by identifying your expectations. Ask each other questions like ‘are you happy?’, ’do you feel like we are as close intimately as we could be’, and ‘how can we get to a place where we are both happy with how intimate we are?’
There are definitely wrong times to bring this conversation up. We don’t suggest approaching intimacy before a current fight has been resolved. Bringing it up within a heated argument is like a shot under the belt. You don’t want to taint sex with unfair accusations or comments. Another inappropriate time is when one person is feeling it and the other one isn’t. It really needs to take place in a neutral zone. Date night is the perfect setting to have a planned conversation of intimacy expectations. Let us know in the comments on the episode page!
In this episode, you’ll learn…
- The best way to initiate a conversation with your significant other to start improving your intimacy.
- How improving your intimacy with yourself is the number one thing that we believe will improve your intimacy with your partner.
- Why when someone is not feeling like being intimate, or if someone is feeling like they need more sex- there’s likely a bigger issue going on.
Quotes:
“If you’re not feeling good about yourself, you’re not going to be all that intimate”
“Often the battle over intimacy has nothing to do with intimacy.”
“It’s a matter of knowing your partner and having that trust to talk about it.”
Links:
Sign up for the Mind Body Maintenance Course
Check out the full post for this episode
Find Resuscitate Your Marriage Online
Follow Dr. Ali Novitsky and Resuscitate Your Marriage on Facebook | Instagram
Mind Body Marriage
Novitsky MD
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky, a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional Psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicans and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at: www.mindbodymarriage.com
Let’s be real here, nobody likes feeling tension between yourself and another person… but what’s even worse is initiating the hard conversation that needs to happen to eliminate that tension. That brings us to round 4 of The Fight Series: You, Me, and the Elephant in the room!
Think about your significant other for a minute here…. What signs do they give you when they need to get something off their chest. Are they stoic, do they drop hints, does their demeanor change?
We tend to get into our heads and building up unnecessary anticipation before approaching the hard conversations. Why do you think that is? You’re having conversations with your SO all the time, so why are these conversations so tough for us to bring up?
Today we’re going to cover some of the main sore points such as time & money and how you can approach these topics in a way that you can eliminate any future contentious fights.
What are some fights you’ve experienced? What are your ‘hot topics’ that seem to come up over and over again? Do you have any helpful tips on how you either prevented those fights or resolved them in a healthy way? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!
In this episode you’ll learn…
- How establishing goals as a couple can help alleviate unnecessary tension
- Why it’s important to have an open mind and allow yourself to be wrong
- What our personal tendencies are when something is wrong and how we approach each other
Quotes:
“If we know that we can really have the ability to be able to prioritize that really special time together- then we may be more open to having those conversations.” (9:57)
“There is only one person you can actually control in any relationship, and that’s yourself.” (17:25)
Links:
Sign up for the Mind Body Maintenance Course
Check out the full post for this episode
Find Resuscitate Your Marriage Online
Follow Dr. Ali Novitsky and Resuscitate Your Marriage on Facebook | Instagram
Mind Body Marriage
Novitsky MD
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky, a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional Psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicans and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at: www.mindbodymarriage.com
Ding ding ding! Time for the next round of The Fight Series! This time, it’s not a fight we’ve experienced recently ourselves, but it’s one we know is seemingly inevitable this time of year…. It’s the battle of making enough time for all the family during the holidays. Our objective with this episode is to help you turn that from being a battle you dread, into an enjoyable holiday experience with healthy boundaries all around!
Here’s the thing - everyone’s experiences with the holiday season are different. Almost every family has established events and traditions that you cherish and want to be a part of. So how do you spread out time between all the family without sacrificing comfort, hurting feelings, or missing out on the moments you look forward to all year long?
How do you avoid an unnecessary fight around family time?
A great way to start is to ask yourself what's important to you during this time? What is it that you really want to do, and who do you want to do that with? Once you realize that you have the whole holiday SEASON to accomplish those things it makes it really achievable!
In this episode you’ll learn…
- How using ‘my’ can be destructive when referring to your family, and why transitioning that to ‘we’ and ‘our’ is a necessity.
- The importance of communication if you are hosting guests, or if you are traveling and staying in another family member’s home.
- How to set yourself up for success with your time-management during the holidays.
- The benefit of having a plan during the holiday season so you can still accomplish your goals.
Here’s our challenge this week: Let’s enjoy every darn second of this holiday season!! Why not? What do we have to lose?
Quotes:
“The holidays tend to be about making others happy, and we put our desires on the back-burner.” (4:48)
“The whole idea is, having the flexibility is going to allow you to be able to get through the holidays and actually enjoy them verses a constant fight.” (7:20)
“Set yourself up so you have what you are going to need to be comfortable” (16:30)
Links:
Sign up for the Mind Body Maintenance Course
Check out the full post for this episode
Find Resuscitate Your Marriage Online
Follow Dr. Ali Novitsky and Resuscitate Your Marriage on Facebook | Instagram
Mind Body Marriage
Novitsky MD
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky, a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional Psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicans and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at: www.mindbodymarriage.com
Scheduling and time management can be stressful as it is, but in a marriage with 2 individual’s separate schedules, it only gets trickier. Have you ever had a miscommunication when scheduling an event or appointment for both of you? This brings us to round 2 of The Fight Series!
’Tis the season for holiday cards, and along with that comes the beautiful photos you want displayed. When booking with the photographer, Ali looked at their extremely busy calendars, and went ahead and booked the time slot she knew they all had available. The night before the scheduled photo shoot, Mark realized the time booked was not the ideal time of day for photo taking, AKA the ‘Golden Hour’. Mark knew the 10:00 AM time slot would bring harsh lighting and argued that it was not the atmosphere he wanted for these important pictures and requested that Ali reschedule.
Here’s where it all went downhill.
Mark wanted the perfect picture and as a result, was losing the big picture. The photographer, of course, had no availability that evening or for the next month or so…. it was looking like they wouldn’t get an appointment for weeks.
Ali just wanted a picture. She was upset about having to re-schedule with the photographer, and in the heat of the moment, she brought out all of the ‘leftovers’ of the past month. All of those little burdens she’d been carrying around came out.
So no pictures?!
What’s the lesson learned here? How could this whole fight have been avoided in the first place? Have you ever gotten into a disagreement and felt the urge to bring up past feelings because they somehow feel relevant? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!
In this episode, you’ll learn…
- The importance of communicating the little things to avoid big fights.
- Why in detail conflicts like this, you have to really take the time to hear and understand each other.
- That it’s natural to feel past issues arise in a current argument and how to manage that.
- Why you need to tuck away any past resentment in a pretty little box, and focus on the issue at hand to get real conclusions.
For a happy ending, we did get pictures.. and at Golden Hour so you better believe they were good!
Quotes:
“If we didn’t communicate that could’ve been a pretty significant downward spiral.”
“The things that are said and sometimes the things that are unspoken can be damaging. If they’re left unchecked they can kind of fester.”
Links:
Sign up for the Mind Body Maintenance Course
Check out the full post for this episode
Find Resuscitate Your Marriage Online
Follow Dr. Ali Novitsky and Resuscitate Your Marriage on Facebook | Instagram
Mind Body Marriage
Novitsky MD
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky, a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional Psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicans and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at: www.mindbodymarriage.com
Is there anything worse than having a blow-out with your spouse? Have you ever found yourself fighting but you’re not really sure exactly what you’re fighting about? Let’s weigh in on argument communication.
We like to make it a weekly routine of sitting down and actually listening to your partner. Maybe we ask questions and probe deeper, or we just let them talk. This simple act does help us to reconnect with each other like we did when we were first dating.
Recently, we had a big fight. We had this family day planned to go for lunch, go bowling, and get Ali a new dress. But one thing led to another and we spent most of the day fighting.
Do you know what the kicker of this situation was? We weren’t even arguing about the same thing. Ali thought Mark was blaming her for everything while Mark though Ali had disrespected his belongings, which Ali didn’t even know about.
This is why communication is so vital in an argument. If you take a minute to actually let your partner know why you’re angry, you can clear a lot of the issues up before it blows out of control. We both actually found that we were bringing up feelings about some past experiences and hurts, which made this argument grow even bigger.
In this episode, we talk about how to actually have the difficult conversation and clear the air after a big fight. It is scary! And sometimes it’s that fear of the known which can contribute to not only the argument but our reluctance to talk about it afterward.
Your homework for this week is to use this worksheet to look back at your last fight and try to figure out how you can communicate better when you have disagreements in the future.
When’s the last time you had a big argument with your spouse? Did you stay angry for 36 hours like Ali did? How did you start to clear the air? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!
In This Episode:
- Why you should make a routine of sitting down and listening to your partner
- What happens to cause a fight when you don’t discuss the things that are bothering you
- Why communication with your partner is so vital
- How you can draw on past experiences to fuel an argument
- How do you have the difficult conversations and clear the air after a big fight
- What impact the fear of the unknown plays when talking about an argument
Quotes:
“If your guy is yelling louder, ignoring you more, really putting on the show, he is trying to get your attention. When you’re acting as if you’ve shut down and you’re not paying attention, and you’re cold, expect it to happen.” (26:05)
“I didn’t even know where to start with the conversation because it seemed like so many things were coming up. … A lot of people just want the other person to agree with us and say, ‘you were right, I was wrong’. It gives us permission to act the way that we did. I think sometimes we know that that’s not true, it takes two to tango. We know that the person is not going to agree with us. If they care about us, they won’t agree with us.” (34:32)
“If you don’t communicate, you probably don’t even know what you’re fighting about.” (36:20)
“You have themes of how you behave. So by knowing your themes, you get a great insight into what’s going on. It truly changes everything when you have that insight.” (42:57)
Homework
Download your worksheet
Links
Sign up for the Mind Body Maintenance Course
Check out the full post for this episode
Find Resuscitate Your Marriage Online
Follow Dr. Ali Novitsky and Resuscitate Your Marriage on Facebook | Instagram
Mind Body Marriage
Novitsky MD
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky, a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional Psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicans and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at: www.mindbodymarriage.com
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky, a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional Psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicans and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at: www.mindbodymarriage.com
The official start date for Dr. Ali’s next group coaching course to achieve a fit mind, maintain a fit body, and foster fit relationships is: October 7, 2019
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky are a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicans and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at: www.mindbodymarriage.com
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky are a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicans and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at: www.mindbodymarriage.com
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky are a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicans and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at: www.mindbodymarriage.com
This week, the Drs. Novitsky welcome an international hero to the show, Dr. Free Hess. Dr. Hess is a Florida-based pediatrician who specializes in Pediatric Emergency Care Medicine and Expert in Child safety.
When Dr. Hess' website (Pedimom.com) exposed concerning content hidden in children's programming on a variety of online sources, including YouTube kids, the findings went viral. Videos of self-harm, suicide, sexual exploitation, trafficking, domestic violence, sexual abuse, and gun violence.
Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky are a married team of physicians who live in Philadelphia’s quaint suburb of Chester County. Together, they operate “Novitsky MD -Boutique Mind Doctors”, a center located in Chadds Ford, PA that has married traditional psychiatry with newer cognitive life coaching.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicans and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at: www.mindbodymarriage.com
How good are you at feeling your feelings?
It's actually a lot harder than most people think - in fact, it is often so difficult to sit with uncomfortable feelings that we spend much of our life avoiding them.
Dr. Ali teaches you the skills to catch unhealthy thoughts and feelings - and to replace them with thoughts and feelings that are more likely to help you accomplish your goals. In this episode, The Drs. Novitsky discuss neuroplasticity and the mind's ability to change.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicans and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at: www.mindbodymarriage.com
So your New Year's Resolutions haven't quite panned out as planned?
Learn how to catch destructive thoughts before they drag down your emotions and lead to unhealthy behaviors. Dr. Ali teaches you the skills to catch unhealthy thoughts and feelings - and to replace them with thoughts and feelings that are more likely to help you accomplish your goals. In this episode, The Drs. Novitsky discuss neuroplasticity and the mind's ability to change.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicans and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting. Learn more at: www.mindbodymarriage.com
Interested in learning more about National Personalized Genetic Testing with Genomind? Learn more at: www.potomacpsychiatry.com
Welcome in the New Year with an improved version of Yourself. All too often, individuals make unrealistic Resolutions for themselves and are set up for failure before they even start. In this Podcast, Dr. Ali Novitsky, The Life Coach for professional women, and her psychiatrist husband, Dr. Mark A, Novitsky Jr. MD discuss how to make appropriate, realistic goals - and share some of their own.
Get The Results You Want With Cognitive Behavioral Coaching!
Ali Novitsky MD, the Life Coach for Women Physicans and busy professional women teaches the fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and effective goal setting.
The Drs. Novitsky strive to help you prioritize your marriage in the craziness of the holidays. Whether time is constrained by your work expectations, family visiting, or other obligations, they use the cognitive coaching fundamentals to help you reframe your mindset. The holidays are not a single day, but rather an entire season.
In anticipation for the upcoming New Year, they give some helpful pointers on setting achievable goals for New Years Resolutions - a topic that will be explored further in next week’s podcast.
A MANDATORY Listen For Holiday Weight Maintenance!
If you are looking to gain weight this Christmas or Hanukkah, this Podcast may not be for you. We teach you the tools to shed your unforgiving diet that refuses you to get into the spirit - yet teach you a mindful eating approach that will avoid falling into the “All or Nothing” distorted thinking process that often follows any deviation from our self-imposed dietary restrictions. The Drs. Novitsky offer a strategy to navigate holiday eating, while promoting steadfast attention to sleep hygiene and exercise balance.
We teach you to embrace the culinary gifts of this Holiday Season, but in a mindful way. With moderation, you won’t have to look in the mirror in 2019 and find the Jelly of The Month Club… ie the gift that keeps on giving all year round…
Join the Resuscitation Team!!! …Subscribe today from your iPhone via Apple Podcasts Mac/PC via iTunes
"I don't know what to say except it's Christmas and we're all in misery!" - Ellen Griswold, CHRISTMAS VACATION
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Are you someone who can't wait for the holidays to end?
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Would you like to rekindle enjoyment during this stressful time of year?
Life Coach for professional women, Dr. Ali Novitsky, and her psychiatrist husband, Dr. Mark Novitsky offer a prescription to change your mindset around the holidays. They analyze likely sources of holiday stress including buying gifts, handling work expectations, social media posting, and awkward holiday parties). They offer a strategy to navigate holiday blues and missing loved ones who have passed away. Learning to change your mindset can help when you are hosting visitors and time commitments with friends. Learn to balance old holiday traditions with new ones - and to stand up for yourself when loved ones may appear to overstep boundaries.
Want to get in that sentimental mood? Then it needs to start with your MIND.
Addiction is a serious health concern that knows no boundaries. Though many might hope their medical providers are immune to these risks, they are actually at more risk given the social isolation, stress, and burnout that can come with the job. Philadelphia Addiction Psychiatrist, David Clements MD (https://www.myexecutivehealth.com) notes that mental well-being is directly proportionate to the the social connectedness of an individual. Similarly, intimacy in the marriage is contingent on effective communication and the ability of partners to show eachother vulnerability. Short-comings in either can lead down the road of substance use. Lydia Clements, MD highlights the stigma of mental illness/addiction and introduces a comparison with well-known medical conditions to better explain the prognosis of addiction. If you or a loved one are suffering from an addiction, Dr. David Clements provides meaningful initial steps on the path to recovery, including potential detoxification/residential treatment at The Malvern Institute (phone#: 610-MALVERN; https://www.malverninstitute.com), the institution where he and Mark first met.
Fall Back in love with Sleep... In this Episode, Ali and Mark Novitsky deliver a true eye-opener about the importance of adequate "Shut eye". They discuss a seminal publication about sleep by Dr. Matthew Walker. An exploration of sleep medication included a warning about using benzodiazepines for sleep and discourse about the potential benefits of Melatonin. They teach about the Glymphatic system (and it's implications on memory and Alzheimers). The Novitskys point out the fallacy in the old adage "you can sleep when your dead" because you are likely to die sooner if you dont have adequate sleep. They identify the association between of poor sleep/overnight call and Ghrelin/Leptin levels (and subsequent eating/diet implications and risk of diabetes). Weakened immunity and cancer are also noted to be a sequelae of insomnia. Sleep habits can affect intimacy for couples and reinforce negative core beliefs that can poison not only the relationship, but the perception of the entire family about the strength of the marriage. The Doctors Novitsky share some take-away recommendations to optimize sleep for the sake of medicine, health, and marriage.
Today's podcast offers an authentic glimpse into the married life of the Shillcutts. Dr. Sasha Shillcutt is a renowned national speaker on the topic of Physician burnout, a working cardiac anesthesiologist, a dedicated wife, and loving mother of 4. Several years ago, she started a Facebook group, Style MD, aimed at empowering attending women Physicians. Dr. Shillcutt's most recent endeavor, Brave Enough (www.becomebraveenough.com), is an outgrowth of her own personal battle with Physician Burnout and promotes women physician wellness through professional development master classes, Retreats, Conferences, and a weekly podcast. Her devoted husband Lance, reflects on his choice to take on more of the household/parental duties and behind-the-scenes operations of Brave Enough in order to make their life manageable. He candidly opens up about the stigma experienced when men support highly driven female physicians.
In this episode, Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky explore common marriage pet peeves and open up about a few of their own. They use the Cognitive Model to help couples realize that these pet peeves are generally not “deal breakers” - and emphasize that “All-or-Nothing Thinking” is a cognitive distortion that can allow these pet peeves to fester and negatively affect our emotions and behaviors. Dr. Ali coaches you on how to focus your attention on your significant other’s positive attributes and ultimately, reframe these behaviors as cute nuances.
In this episode, Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky help couples to effectively communicate about spending and collaborate to establish financial goals. They encourage couples to take a money personality quiz as a good place to start to understand each others perspective - and avoid having to “hide the Amazon boxes”. They look at the importance of balancing enjoying the present with putting money away for retirement. They warn of the dangers of late night online shopping, and how it may be a sign of deeper relationship/personal problems.
In this episode, Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky aim to teach you the value of asking the “tough” questions by preparing some of their own. They encourage you to follow their lead and take your relationship where it’s never gone before.
In this episode, Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky look at strategies to promote wellness through healthy eating and exercise. They provider the recipe for busy physicians to engage her/his partner to prioritize wellness through a common goal.
In this episode, Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky discuss the unseen forces of attraction. They conclude that while initial attraction may be innate, lasting attraction can be attained by thinking “attractive” thoughts.
While they had intended to record this first podcast by their 10 year wedding anniversary earlier this mont, Time got the best of them. In this episode, Drs. Ali and Mark Novitsky open up about their own battles with managing time. They strategize realistic ways to optimize life-work balance.