Campaign On Dice: Recent Episodes
W4B
We're used to quick deaths in these books, but starting off dead might be a first. We crawl out of a sarcophagus in front of a LIVE discord chat as we try to work out what the Black Vein Prophecy even is...
May our stamina never fail!
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Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Pirates are attacking, and there's not even time to eat a meal. Worse things happen at sea, as they say.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
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Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We've finished shopping, so now it's time for a made-up-fantasy-medieval-times pub crawl. And possibly some light tomb raiding.
May our stamina never fail!
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Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
With gold burning a hole in our pockets (and boots), it's time to go shopping while a talking mongoose tries to get his leg over in a book written for children. The eighties were very different weren't they...
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We're taking another run at Master of Chaos, mostly because there's a talking mongoose out there somewhere and we really need to find out why (or if) it's relevant to the story.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
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Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We're looking for riches and adventure, but all we'll find at the docks are shady characters and a whole load of seamen...
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We're back on board the ship of willing holidaymakers as a second quest to find a magical staff for some wizards begins. But can we even survive long enough to get to the starting location...?
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
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Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Can you use a camel as a bribe? Which star of Hi-De-Hi makes a surprise cameo? What happened to the talking mongoose? Some of these questions might get answered in this episode.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
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Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We give our new mongoose friend a chance for romance as we part ways to do some shopping, desperately trying to acquire the essential items every other fighting fantasy book gives you for free at the beginning.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
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BLUESKY: @w4bpodcast THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We head to the docks this week in an attempt to... (checks notes) ...avoid notoriety? Also appearing in this episode, the best character we've ever encountered in a fighting fantasy book.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
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BLUESKY: @w4bpodcast THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
No sword, no backpack, no provisions, and no hope of survival as we begin a new book with a live audience of loyal listeners. Who will be the Master of Chaos? Is that even a thing?
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
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Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Our adventure has led us inside a heaving, throbbing, veiny monstrosity which is definitely not inspired by and/or stolen from any famous sci-fi franchises.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
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Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Meditation, ooh Meditation! Meditation, that's what you need; If you're standing by a shrine, and you wanna feel just fine, ooh-ooh, Meditation's what you need!
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
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Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Set upon by mobs, both living and unliving, we find ourselves in more and more dangerous territory. If only someone had put up a windmill as some kind of warning...
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
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Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
If you take anything away from this episode, it should be this; if you enter a tavern and you can't sit on your own, don't sit down at all.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
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BLUESKY: @w4bpodcast THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Randy skeletons, unhelpful innkeepers and spitty villagers should be no challenge for your average demon hunter. But sometimes, average is a high bar...
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
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BLUESKY: @w4bpodcast THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
It's all holy circles and mooning demons this episode, as we fight off creatures from another dimension to impress a strangely attractive village headman.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
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BLUESKY: @w4bpodcast THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
A vampire jumps out of a coffin during a funeral while we're doing some (rather literal) moonlighting as a priest. And this is probably the reason funerals are usually held during the day.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
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BLUESKY: @w4bpodcast THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We start a new adventure as a demon-stalker, digging up demons, fighting demons, hunting a massive demon and also, occasionally, filling in for the local vicar.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!
BLUESKY: @w4bpodcast THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
If you only listen to one podcast with two grown men baffled by a riddle in a children's book this week, make it this one.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
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Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Accident in a dungeon? Have you died in a borehole and it wasn't your fault? You may be eligible to claim another go and send in your friend to claim the treasure you felt you were owed.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
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THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast BLUESKY: @w4bpodcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Playing this book is as much fun as an Indiana Jones adventure. Unfortunately that adventure is "Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." It's not fun is what I'm saying.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!
THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast BLUESKY: @w4bpodcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Your life would have to be pretty bad to make a conscious decision to visit a place called "Deathtrap Dungeon." Or the TripAdvisor reviews would have to be really good.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!
THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast BLUESKY: @w4bpodcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
After sending our bodyguard to her confusing doom last episode, we reach some familiar territory despite some very surprising twists and turns and a completely new outlook on life in general.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!
THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast BLUESKY: @w4bpodcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We find ourselves in the uncomfortable shoes of a pretty problematic character with boundary issues, as the book gets unnecessarily mucky and a little bit meta.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!
THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast BLUESKY: @w4bpodcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
What makes an Orc a Great Orc? Are there Mediocre Orcs? Plenty of time to ponder questions like that this week, as we get distracted from our mission to relight a volcano or whatever.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!
THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast BLUESKY: @w4bpodcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
This episode starts off confusingly and never stops, as the numbered paragraphs stop making sense almost immediately and we roll more dice over the course of 30 minutes than we did throughout the entire last book.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!
THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast BLUESKY: @w4bpodcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
It's a hot and heavy episode this week, starting with hot and heavy armour and continuing with hot and heavy action throughout. The heat and weight don't let up, so if you don't like cold or light things this one is for you!
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!
THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast BLUESKY: @w4bpodcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
A new book means a LIVE EPISODE, so our listeners make all our decisions for us as we fumble through a confusing story about wizards, crumbling citadel walls, and... ostriches?
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!
THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger TIKTOK: @w4b_podcast WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
When you're in a dracula's castle, you should definitely investigate every tomb and sarcophagus you find. Nothing bad ever comes out of a sarcophagus after all.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Is the Count a vampire? Yes. Is this bat a vampire? Probably, yes. Could this weasel be a vampire? Now you're just being silly. Ow, my leg!
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
A bloke who looks a bit like a vampire who lives in a vampire's castle has offered us some free food and drink. Sounds safe enough.
May our stamina never fail!
IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE;
SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US WITH MERCHANDISE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com/w4bshop SUPPORT US FOR FREE: spread the word, spread the whimsy!
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy THREADS/INSTAGRAM: w4b_podcast FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Inside the spooky castle of a vampire, we spend some time with an underpaid librarian deciding how much money to spend on information we could probably guess for free.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We've been left to our own devices in the woods, so the local wildlife is in terrible danger, and trespassing offences are likely to be committed.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Backpacking through made-up Eastern European countries is a dangerous affair. the roads are full of headless horsemen, the forests are full of bears, and the rivers are full of scuttling gnomes...
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We've met several of the Count's relatives; some alive, some less so, but they all seem willing to help us. This should be easy, as long as we don't take on any monsters with much higher SKILL and STAMINA scores...
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Heading deeper into the Vault of the Vampire, we discover this might be a very different kind of dungeon. Don't touch any door handles...
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We avoid a forest full of bears to hitch a lift with a headless ghost, to risk being eaten by a dracula in the vain hope that we might rescue a villager's granddaughter. May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We fill up on garlic and invite a load of people to join us for a LIVE recording so we don't get scared, as we start Vault of the Vampire, the spookiest children's book you've heard two middle-aged men read today. May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
The president of the USA needs to be saved, but the Jazz Mind is dead. Long live the Swiss Army Knight. Probably not too long though, considering how badly last week's battles went.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
The Jazz Mind faces his strongest foe yet as our listeners decided he should punch a rock monster with his normal human hands instead of running away. It's a pretty one-sided fight to the death, so don't blame us for stretching this episode out a bit.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Last episode Jazz Mind saw off some radioactive dogs with his Jazz Mind powers, and if you were hoping animal cruelty wasn't going to rear its ugly head this episode you are about to be disappointed. Don't blame us, blame Steve for writing it. And for writing several other questionable things which have since been edited to be more acceptable for a 21st century audience.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We return to Titan city for another attempt to defeat the forces of FEAR, or at least keep our appointment with it this time, as Martyn steps into the sparkly boots of a new hero with the power of "Magic Move Mind."
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Criminals, by nature, are a cowardly and superstitious lot. To instill fear into their hearts, the Silver Crusader went to his local swimming pool for a bit of relaxing down time. This is pretty much how Mark would behave as a superhero, only with more biscuit-eating involved.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
With great power there must also come great responsibility. But with rubbish powers you might as well go to an amusement park, right?
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Look, up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Yes, it's probably those things. Mark becomes an embarrassingly low tier superhero this week, bravely facing the evils of office work before creating as much street crime as he tackles.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
An annoying forest woman with a stupid voice wants us to unbuckle our weapon and pay a visit to her messy garden. That's the show note. May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
After last week's action-packed episode, we wait around for some men and discuss the merits of mining licences. If you're lucky, we might have a look in a tree.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
After letting a long sinewy appendage writhe all over us, we find ourselves challenging a dwarf to a pickaxe handle fight. Which is definitely worse than just using a whole pickaxe. May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We're tossing coins willy-nilly, looking for a wizard for a reason we can't remember, and only finding people who are pretending not to be wizards. May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
There's a ghostly ladder that's DEFINITELY intangible. The previous paragraph made a point of confirming it wasn't there. Our sword passed through it, remember? Shall we climb it then? OF COURSE! May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
After saving him from a giant SPIDER, we feed an elderly goblin and find out what he keeps in his jerkin. The answer might surprise you! May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
A camp full of untrained fighters needed our help, so we honourably stuck around to defend them. And all it took was for their leader to literally beg us, and for our listeners to make the final decision for us. May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We start a new investigation into the missing miners and the portal of evil, as we find that elves are now dinosaurs, dwarves are now humans, cats and dogs are living together... mass hysteria.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
The Tramp of Marching Feet is on his way, so we're going to hang around and see what he wants, whilst sticking our hands into whatever we like. May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
There's gold in them there hills, and also dinosaurs. We set off on a new adventure to discover the mystery of Kleinkastel, and we bring a LIVE audience with us to decide how we do it. May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
It's Bonecrushing time! Welcome back to Blood Island, home of the Trial of Champions and the Arena of Death. But don't let the name fool you. It's really more of an amphitheatre.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Bobby Axeman's army marches on, poking their noses in wherever they feel like in their quest to reunite an estranged couple, and maybe kill a demon in the process if there's time, we'll see. May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We meet a new Axeman and a new Captain, as we continue to try to get an army to Zengis to fight a demon or something. More importantly, we need to get a family back together, and we're not going to let something like the rules of the book get in the way. May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We're looking for Big Richard Axeman in all the wrong places. Like barrels. Still, probably better than going into a sewer. I bet the sewers are full of nasty things, but a barrel probably won't have a monster in it or anything. May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Buy a talking familiar, or buy a "special" creature? When you're in a Fantasy Made Up Medieval Times pet shop, this is the kind of quandary you find yourself faced with. As well as "will the shopkeeper just do some magic on me and rob me whatever I decide?" May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We're about to be rammed by pirates, which is probably a bad thing...? But we're not going to surrender or run away, mostly because our listeners made the decision for us.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
With a complement of soldiers at our disposal, and definitly NO provisions, we set sail for adventure in front a LIVE Discord audience! It's a new book with new rules to get wrong, as we begin our slow march towards the Armies of Death!
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We've been offered some dodgy drinks from two weirdos in a pub. Better drink at least one of them, otherwise we'd look rude. It's down to the wire in this episode, with a ticking clock of poisoned body parts and only 6 STAMINA remaining...
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We head to a trading post where the trading situation is unclear, follow clues based on notes we've actually taken, and see the return of a running joke which is now 400% more disgusting.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We go to the aid of a shuffling person who's falling over. But will we be rewarded or punished for our good deed? And will their name and/or title be more suited to some kind of experimental musical group? Yes, the answer is definitely yes.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Orcs everywhere, and no sign of any of the medallions we're looking for. The only thing that might cheer us up is a singing Dwarf, but the chances of meeting one are so low I don't know why I've even mentioned it.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We roll the dice to see how well we roll some dice, as we find ourselves at a fair full of games that are probably not regulated by any recognised authority. Remember, Take Time To Think, and When The Fun Stops, Stop!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We start a new book with a live episode full of disgusting accidents and technical problems. Mark's angry, Martyn's stupid, and everything goes wrong. Maybe give this one a miss, I'm sure we'll do a recap next time...
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
There are colourful passages and even more colourful descriptions as the final battle looms on our quest to kill Mordraneth, the Stealer of Souls! But there's only one colour all over these passages by the end of this super-sized finale...
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
There's a series of increasingly suggestive passages (corridors) to choose from, and there's probably an evil wizard at the other end of one of them. Or maybe there will just be more passages (corridors). Either option is probably equally exciting.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Rescue a naked old man or fight a massive half-ogre? We'll take our chances with the half-ogre, and hope the naked old man doesn't turn out to be anyone important. And also hope he puts some clothes on.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
If you kill a dark priest and some orcs, you should definitely rob their corpses and wear any jewellery they're carrying. They don't need it any more, and you'll look fabulous with no repurcussions I expect.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
When you haven't picked up any of the useful items the book teases you about, your only option is to break stuff. Doors, bones, hearts and private parts... at least some of these things get broken in this episode.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
There's a stone statue which is made of stone, and and it wants something we haven't got, so we're going to fight it, despite the fact that it's made of stone. What a silly book.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Don't go into that trapdoor... You're a fool if you dare! Stay away from that trapdoor...'Cos there's something down there!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
It's all insensitive stereotypes and daytime TV references this week, as we rate the local accommodation and find ourselves property hunting in fantasy made-up medieval times.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
It's a new book so it's a LIVE episode, as we get sent to rescue a wizard from the Isle of Despair. But don't worry, it's just a name. What I mean is that the Isle of Despair is actually a peninsula.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We start off responding to a weak distress signal and end up playing snooker, as Sky Lord finally starts getting good. And by good, we mean proper mental.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We go looking for a village, find a dubious alley, and end up with a space STD from a sprite. Just another day reading children's books for a podcast.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
SPACE WEED sounds like something a mental billionaire would try to convince you is cool. But we're being attacked by it, so hopefully it'll end up the same as everything else mental billionaires like; doomed to fail and go on fire.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We head spaceward once more with a newly re-christened starship and most of the same options from last episode. Not going to lie, this one is a lot less fun. Unless you like word documents.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
This episode has space combat, mutants, as many arms as you can imagine, and more "oids" than you ever thought possible. We're starting mental sci-fi adventure Sky Lord, and we're joined by the hardcore Patreon CoDpieces in a super-sized LIVE special!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We've got a bag full of leaves and some questionable cutlery, and we've learned what a palanquin is, so we're fully prepared to take on a load of hornets and also anything else that stands in our way probably.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
You told us to avoid a troll, who's definitely doing something interesting which is probably important. I wonder what the troll is doing now. I bet it would have been good, and wouldn't have involved eating a hedgehog.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We search for an enchanter, ride a horse at a canter, and find a man covered in ants-ARGH!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
A woman covered herself in slime and hid in a cupboard because a wizard said she should, and we take on the fantasy medieval made-up times equivalent of the pepsi challenge. How have you managed without this podcast?
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
An old man was scamming us for money and food, and you bunch of suckers voted for us to help him. Doing the decent thing? It’s like you lot don’t even know us…
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Don't go north, don't go east... Death (with a capital D) lies in every direction. Stay in Kallameeeehhhhrr...? Who even knows any more...
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Don't go north apparently. Ok, sure, but what if, and hear me out... we go north...?
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
It's a new book with a problematic title, as Mark faces invasions to the north and new threats from the east, as well as the looming terror of potential orgies. Maybe give this one a miss, just to be safe...?
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We're surrounded by LIZARDMEN, and only fans of the podcast won't twitch at the disturbing antics on display in this episode.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We've spent six episodes reading this book, and it finally looks like we're going to run into the monster from the cover. That'll be exciting, right? Right? RIGHT?!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We deal with our hatred of the most repulsive creatures we've ever seen by fighting the most repulsive creature we've ever seen, in our most cleverly satirical episode to date.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We put the "fun" into "funeral," the "shame" into "shaman," and the "orc" into "awkward." Those last two don't really work written down, so why not get someone else to read this out to you?
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
What's the difference between a pony and a sabre-toothed tiger? Well if you don't know, I don't want to go horse riding with you!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Lizard Man Champion? Lizard Man CHUMP-ion we call him. Not to his face though. He's got four arms!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Exciting times as we start a new book! In this one, we play an ordinary, normal person who's chosen by a magical being to go on a quest. For a change.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Being an assistant rabbit-skinner in Gorak is a dangerous career path. One day you're helping skin rabbits, the next you're handed a magic sword and a cat and told to go and kill a load of magic monsters.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Round like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel, losing stamina and skill points, no provisions help me heal.
Repetition is funny, right?
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
The tunnels (corridors) in the Chasms of Malice are full of cyphers and riddles designed for children, so two grown men should be able to solve them easily. If you've never listened before, you might believe that.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We've reached a big round episode number, so it's time to read a book and roll some dice with a live internet audience again! Bad stat rolling... LIVE! Rule breaking... LIVE! Dick mushing... LIVE! We know what you like.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
Campaign on Dice is on an Easter break, so now's your chance to try CoD: Die Alone. In this pilot episode, Martyn and Tinah discuss their experience with Dungeons and Dragons, and create a new character for a new campaign with some new dice...
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Music: Celebration by Alexander Nakarada (www.serpentsoundstudios.com) Licensed under Creative Commons By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
We investigate the existence of Bigfoot, and decide whether it's factual or fake-tual.
This is a taster for the Patreon-exclusive podcast. If you like what you hear, you can listen to more episodes by signing up at patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy
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--- Music used : "Broken Piano " composed and produced by "Vivek Abhishek" Music link : https://youtu.be/ln_a4bwRF9o SUBSCRIBE on YOUTUBE: https://youtu.be/DQQmmCl8crQ Follow on Facebook: https://bit.ly/33RWRtP Follow on Instagram: https://bit.ly/2ImU2JV ---
In this episode we battle a FOOTPAD, in front of some other FOOTPADS, after finding out what the hell a FOOTPAD is.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
The book said we had to go back to the beginning, but we kept all our rolls, gold and equipment. No-one said we were wrong, so it's time to get twice as much stuff before failing twice as hard.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
We cave in to peer pressure and finally get on with the story, but the story has other ideas. Stupid smelly old book!
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
"Choose three skills," says the book. "Great," we reply, "will they be helpful in our adventure?" "Phhh. Probably...?" the book shrugs. Books lie.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
If you shimmy up a drainpipe you should be prepared to deal with the consequences, which in this case involve badly-written paragraphs and vague instructions. No wonder kids never played these things properly.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
After playing a slow game of knifey-knifey stab hand in the tavern it’s time to head to the Merchant’s Guild, which sounds much safer and definitely probably might not lead to any fights with monsters or existential crises.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
After Martyn's disastrous run-in with dogs and servants, Mark dons the jerkin of the Midnight Rogue. But as soon as he puts the jerkin on, will he want to take the jerkin off?
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
More apprentice parallels this week, as we try our best to be creative but are let down by our own limited understanding of the situation, and the outcome was decided before we even started the task.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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Being an apprentice for the Thieves' Guild is a lot like being an apprentice for Alan Sugar. It feels like you're working towards a goal, but really it's just hours of pointless busywork before you randomly win or lose.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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How much wood would a Wood Elf elf, if a Wood Elf could elf wood?
That makes about as much sense as anything else that happens in this episode.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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He’s got legs, he knows how to use them, Newly grown legs, he knows how to choose them, Runs into Bhorkets, wonder how to fight them, Would you get behind them if you could only find them?
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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Raindrops keep fallin' on my head, And just like the guy whose body's gone and left for dead, Roll into a cave, Those raindrops are fallin' on my limbs, and my torso, Because they're gone, My head is no longer on...
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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Stars shining bright above you, Tree Devils seem to whisper "I'll blind you," They'll pierce your eyes so you'll never see, Dream a little dream of me...
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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Wood Elves won't eat meat as they find it morally reprehensible. But they will happily slaughter any woodland creature who so much as gives them a funny look. DON'T EAT THEM, JUST MURDER THEM! That's the Wood Elf way.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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We go deep into the woods and even deeper into the subconscious mind, as we explore the dreams of a wood elf wandering around a forest in Phantoms of Fear.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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We're trying to save the president but we're running out of space-future-time units and being forced to try to read a map. We all know how this one's going to end, right?
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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Dodgy dealers, disastrous driving and disgusting droids hamper our progress this week as we face off against several slippery customers. Really slippery. Unnecessarily slippery.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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In this episode we fight a charging ROBO-BULL, a paper-pushing ADMINDROID, and a maths puzzle made for lonely ten year olds. Guess which one causes the most pain to two men in their forties...
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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Fresh off a victory against the legendary Kinta Lopsti, we head to see the Houlgans in search of Jose 90. This is all real stuff someone wrote in a book. And people bought it.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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Martyn picks up a Catchman and jumps on a Silverhound, looking for trouble with every lazily-written, plagiarised and barely-concealed alien race in this robo-sector of the space-future-rocket-galaxy.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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It’s time to go to the space future again as Mark becomes a Bounty Hunter, or a Rogue Tracer, or a Star Strider, or maybe all three. So prepare for zipcars instead of horses, and robots instead of goblins. See, it’s different.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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Chameleonites to the left of us, Rad-Hulks to the right, here we are, stuck having another go at this book. Democracy won, so we're trying again. But will we reach the Crypt of the Sorcerer?
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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Low on stamina and high on stolen armour, Mark is ready to face whatever enemies the Crypt of the Sorcerer can throw at him. He came here to drink tots of health potion and kick ass, but he's all out of tots.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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Martyn’s a werewolf now, so Mark has to step up and continue looking for whatever it was we were supposed to be looking for in the Crypt of the Sorcerer.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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We grab our rod in the woods, which is less fun than it sounds. Or more fun, your mileage may vary. Either way, there's cause "fur" concern, and Martyn may not live to tell the "tail..."
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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We continue reading the Crypt of the Sorcerer, the only fantasy book ever written containing magic rings, tree people, and thinly disguised problematic racist stereotypes.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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We’re back from our break and we’re DOING IT LIVE, as we crack open the Crypt of the Sorcerer in front of a streaming YouTube crowd of people-with-nothing-better-to-do.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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Spider-Man, Spider-Man,
Giving heart attacks is his plan,
Late for meetings, every time,
Barely bothers fighting crime,
Look out! Here comes the Spider-Man!
May our stamina (and Spider-Sense) never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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Excelsior True Believers! We take a short break from Fighting Fantasy and try out a different gamebook series, as Mark becomes a web-slinging wonder in 1986 New York City who really needs those condensers.
May our stamina (and Spider-Sense) never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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Showing off sparkly stones, searching silent streets, and scuffles with scary suckers in the sixth session of Beneath Nightmare Castle...
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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We face fiery feats, flirt with femme fatales and freefall towards failure in the fifth phase of Beneath Nightmare Castle...
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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We deliver meals, deliver beatings and deliver laughs with varying levels of success, as we delve deeper into the dungeons and discover the depths of depravity Beneath Nightmare Castle...
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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There are unusual liquids, unfortunate transformations and unnecessary deaths in this unpleasant chapter of the unreadable Beneath Nightmare Castle.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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We drop names, drop off a balcony, and drop the ball as we investigate Neuburg and try not to drop to zero stamina.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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Captured, netted and helpless like so much Bonecrusher, we try to escape from beneath Nightmare Castle. Hey, that's the title of this book!
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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We take one more crack at Creature of Havoc, because people like this book for a reason, right? There's tension in the air and genuine stakes by the end of the episode. Nothing to do with the book though. That's rubbish.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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It's eat or be eaten in the largely unimaginative dungeon inhabited by the Creature of Havoc. This book should have been called "Monster Munch."
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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Mark is drunk out of his monster mind and has eaten a load of questionable flesh, so now some invisible things want to eat his flesh in return. Typical.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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We venture into the mind of the Creature of Havoc for a third time, having little to no control over our actions, fighting creatures who must surely be copyrighted, and killing everything we don't understand.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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This week, a hideous clumsy man-monster with no social skills and a rudimentary understanding of the world around him plays a Fighting Fantasy book.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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Evil witches are making monster-men, all our agency is taken away, and worse than that, we're forced to learn Welsh.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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It's do or die this episode, as we erase last week's events from history and fight our way to the end of this book. One way or another we're finishing Firetop Mountain, and we're going to take out all our frustrations on any monsters or magicians who get in our way.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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Remember when we said last week’s episode was the worst one we’d ever made? Hold our decaffeinated tea...
May our stamina never fail!
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This is the worst episode of Campaign On Dice we have ever made and you shouldn't listen to it. In fact, Martyn has made it as hard as possible to listen to it. The good news is you can probably skip it and not miss anything.
May our stamina never fail!
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We get to the part of the book where Steve and Ian relied on a thesaurus to come with synonyms for corridors, as endless tunnels, passageways, hallways and foyers lead us to people we may or may not have already met.
May our stamina never fail!
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A vampire wakes up in a bad mood and thinks it's our problem, as we try to turn the undead into the fun-dead.
May our stamina never fail!
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Martyn's treating this book like his childhood advent calendars - he's opening all the doors as soon as possible, and it's terrible for his health.
May our stamina never fail!
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We're looking for a load of keys to fight a warlock or whatever, but we've got time to stop and play with an old man. Hope he keeps his hands to himself, the last thing we need is more hands...
May our stamina never fail!
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There's no new CoD this week due to a reason - however, as a brief interlude Martyn is joined by Tinah in a pilot for a new series. New game, new campaign, new dice...
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy or Wizards of the Coast.
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Campaign On Dice: Die Alone Music: Celebration by Alexander Nakarada (www.serpentsoundstudios.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons By Attribution 4.0 License
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Proving we've learned nothing in the last three years, we continue randomly walking around corridors (corridors) without bothering to keep track of where we've been in any way.
May our stamina never fail!
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We celebrate 150 episodes by heading back to the scene of our first and worst mistakes, and taking another crack at Firetop Mountain. Hope everyone likes listening at doors...
May our stamina never fail!
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We find religion this week as we encounter a scary preacher and test our faith in Libra, despite living in a world where gods and goddesses are definitively and demonstrably real, and thoughts and prayers actually mean something.
May our stamina never fail!
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It’s our raunchiest episode yet, with nudity, groaning and throbbing all over the place, all accompanied by the best voice work Tim has ever done.
May our stamina never fail!
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Bag of teeth in hand and Tim in tow, we head back to Kakhabad to face our most daring quest yet - measuring up caves like some kind of fantasy estate agents.
May our stamina never fail!
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How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? One will see you in a while, and the other one will attempt to do sustained damage to your perineum.
May our stamina never fail!
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Will we finish this book before the end of the year? Having seen plenty of horns and helmets, will we see any actual masks? And if so many of these creatures are NOT EVIL, why do they insist on attacking us?
May our stamina never fail!
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Things take a sexy turn as we try to impress a man so he'll give us his horn. That's the episode description.
May our stamina never fail!
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You either lose a fighting fantasy book as the hero or play it long enough to see yourself become a villain. Hope we don’t meet any innocent creatures minding their own business…
May our stamina never fail!
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“Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you...” And by abyss, we of course mean Martyn's ever widening perineum.
May our stamina never fail!
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Mirror mirror, let's discuss; what did Kevin do to us?
May our stamina never fail!
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After two horrifying deaths, have we learned our lesson? Of course, so let's go for a stroll in a forest next to a lake called NEKROS and have a sleep on our own in the dark.
May our stamina never fail!
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A Welsh wizard tells us to go and kill a woman for putting masks on some rock people, because we are the best at that and will definitely do well. When have we ever let you down?
May our stamina never fail!
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We've had to go into hiding at the beginning of this episode, but what are we hiding away from? Marsh goblins? One of the Seven Serpents? Or the population of Birmingham out for blood after hearing the massacre of their accent?
May our stamina never fail!
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Bubbles lead to troubles this week as we find religion, a serpent finds us, and Tim tries his best not to sigh. what will run out first, our stamina or Tim's patience?
May our stamina never fail!
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We're back after a week off, and we have to use magic against some invisible cats in a forest because you said so. But what's worse, the roar of an angry SNATTACAT or the sigh of a weary Tim?
May our stamina never fail!
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Will we visit a caravan or a snake charmer? Will we start a fight with problematic undertones? Which one of us does Tim think is the funniest? The answers may surprise you. But they probably definitely won't.
May our stamina never fail!
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Killed by HARPIES? Not us, that was someone else. We're continuing our journey from Anal-Land through Kakhabad, armed only with Tim's competence and all the stuff we stole off our previous character's corpse.
May our stamina never fail!
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We're heading to the enemy encampment, and this is finally the episode where our note-taking skills allow us to make significant progress. Wait, which city are we in again...?
May our stamina never fail!
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We have to make a magic wake-up potion for the whole world, but we need a thing we tore to shreds last time. Not a problem in this book, which actively encourages repeating everything you've done endlessly forever. Nice work, STEVE!
May our stamina never fail!
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Stebson the snake robot is spoiling for a rumble in the City of the Jungle. Good job we're facing a MAN TRAP and not a GIANT ROBOT SNAKE TRAP.
May our stamina never fail!
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In this episode we head to the City of Pleasure, where Steve says there are a thousand different amusements. No wonder this episode is so long!
May our stamina never fail!
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We've spent too much time pressing buttons in lifts and wasting time in corridors, so we're definitely not going to do any more of that. Also, we absolutely understand how combat works in these books after 128 episodes, and we're not going to get anything wrong.
May our stamina never fail!
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There are bots everywhere and everyone's asleep... and that's just the live chat LOL jk etc. Due to popular demand we're restarting Robot Commando with a live audience to help us make exciting decisions about corridors.
May our stamina never fail!
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We've fought robots and dinosaurs, and now we have to fight a robot dinosaur. It's definitely not a copyright-infringing duplicate of any other robot dinosaur though, and Steve Jackson has never even heard of Grimlock so stop asking him about it.
May our stamina never fail!
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Driving through a college in a big digger looking for dinosaur fights and also a way to wake up the rest of the planet if we have time after all the dinosaur fights. That's the life of a Robot Commando. Hey, that's the title of this book!
May our stamina never fail!
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Welcome to Thalos, where every ten-year-old's action figure dreams are brought to life, as robots fight dinosaurs and other robots, and you get to steal a digger if you like and nobody minds. Nice!
May our stamina never fail!
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Some weird bird women are attacking a blind man and for some reason we’re not running away. How long will our luck and our only Stamina point hold out? And will it last longer than Tim’s patience?
Also, if you’re playing Fighting Fantasy books but can’t be bothered to roll dice for every battle, why not try using Michael McLarnon’s FIGHTING FANTASY BATTLER web app?
http://www.amelyn.com/ffbattler/v001/index.htm
May our stamina never fail!
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Barely alive and clinging on to 1 point of stamina, we could head to safety and try to escape the city. Instead we go rooting around in a spooky crypt in a world where monsters and ghouls are proven to be real. Whose stupid idea was that listeners?
May our stamina never fail!
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Could we beat up some weird kids on the street? Probably not. But should we beat up some weird kids on the street? What would a man of the law think about that?
May our stamina never fail!
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Bald and trouserless, we resume our journey through Kharé with our wares on display for all to see. But whose wares will we deem worthy to inspect?
May our stamina never fail!
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Take an interesting-looking chain? Don't mind if we do. Who's going to stop us? A chainmaker? I'd like to see him try. What's he going to attack us with - his chains? Oh yeah...
May our stamina never fail!
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We buckle to peer pressure and try some narcotics in this episode, leading to some animal encounters which may or may not have actually happened. Just say no kids.
May our stamina never fail!
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We find ourselves back in the land of Sorcery, joined once more by Tim as he attempts to guide us through Kharé, which is both a city and a port. It's known for its traps, so nothing can possibly go wrong, and we're definitely not going to get locked up in the first episode like a couple of amateurs...
May our stamina never fail!
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As we approach the end of the Trial of Champions, there's only one question we all desperately want the answer to... will we ever get to fight the TWO HEDGEHOGS?
May our stamina never fail!
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With every Giant Tongue or Karate Zombie we face, it's becoming clearer that Ian never expected anyone to survive the initial Arena of Death and just started writing any old rubbish. How are we still alive? We may very well not be...
May our stamina never fail!
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Surviving longer than expected despite throwing ourselves at every challenge, we find ourselves surrounded by filth and innuendo. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but sometimes you're tugging off a caveman or pulling on an elephant's trunk...
May our stamina never fail!
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With stamina low and no sandwiches to fall back on, all we can do now is hope all the monsters we run into are a bit rubbish. We rolled high for luck didn't we...?
May our stamina never fail!
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After being shot to bits by bats, Martyn runs a gauntlet of corridors and creatures. Well, walks a gauntlet. Actually, it's more of a slow crawl...
May our stamina never fail!
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We finally put the Arena of Death behind us to give our listeners what they really want - endless corridors, disappointing fights and empty rooms full of stuff.
May our stamina never fail!
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Bonecrusher works on repairing his delicate balance and his relationship with his kids, as another holidaymaker enters the Arena of Death and Martyn begins a new slops-stained adventure.
May our stamina never fail!
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Bonecrusher may have crushed Martyn's bones, but now Mark enters the Arena of Death as a new slave holidaymaker and he's probably possibly maybe not going to have his bones crushed. Straight away.
May our stamina never fail!
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Welcome to Blood Island, home of the Trial of Champions and the Arena of Death. But don't let the name fool you. It's really more of an amphitheatre.
May our stamina never fail!
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We've come this far and barely touched our spells, but with a skill-sapping curse in place we might not have any choice. After all, the book is called Sorcery, not Stabbery. Will we meet a MANTICORE before Tim is driven away by our incompetence?
May our stamina never fail!
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Cursed by a witch and infected with the plague, we do the responsible thing and visit as many crowded public places as possible without social distancing.
May our stamina never fail!
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From charity work to women in cages, there's a broad and questionable spectrum of encounters this week as Mark and Martyn continue their journey through the Shamunatatantiti Hills, or Shamutanti Hills if you can read like Tim.
May our stamina never fail!
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Death by acorns or starvation? Mark and Martyn continue exploring the Shamutanti Hills whilst Tim does all the heavy lifting, but will teamwork make the dream work, or will indecision cause division?
May our stamina never fail!
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It's a change of pace this week as someone who can actually read leads Mark and Martyn through the first of Steve Jackson's Sorcery! series. Tim Byrne faces the challenge of wrangling two players who are so bad he needed to be on the other side of the planet to deal with them.
May our stamina never fail!
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Stuck in a prison cell with no katana, no wakizashi and no Moichi, Mark has no option but to convince a Shikome gaoler that he's got a poorly tum tum. This probably shouldn't be the first episode you listen to is what I'm saying.
May our stamina never fail!
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Mark continues on his journey to retrieve the Shogun's sword as he fights some genuine monsters and tries to maintain his honour. Luckily, honour and dignity are not the same thing.
May our stamina never fail!
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Incidental Music: Mark
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A new warrior has entered the ring! Mark picks up his katana and wakizashi and heads out with two things on his mind - find the Shogun's sword, and don't get eaten to death by disembodied heads.
May our stamina never fail!
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What's the best way to celebrate one hundred episodes of bad reading and questionable battle tactics? An adventure which requires the pronunciation of difficult words and honourable combat of course!
May our stamina never fail!
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A lot of fish have been punched throughout this book, so one more shouldn't be a problem. It doesn't matter how big it is. Get ready to listen to our story again, weird little underwater goblin man. Easiest win ever.
May our stamina never fail!
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After slaying a Sea Dragon we must be about to take on something pretty powerful.
A Seahorse? Sure.
Some worms? Okay...
A window? I guess we need something to throw this book out of...
May our stamina never fail!
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Four episodes in and still no demons. Barely any mythical creatures at all in fact. But apparently there's a Dragon around here somewhere, and Dragons are pretty cool, right?
Oh, it's a Sea Dragon.
It looks like what?
Shit.
May our stamina never fail!
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Up until now, you'd be forgiven for thinking that this book has just been Mark punching fish. Well, that's all about to change, because... no, wait, it's still basically fish punching.
Sorry.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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Mark continues his journey through Demons of the Deep, having a lovely time pillaging pearls and filleting fish without a care in the world. You wouldn't invite him to the Sea Life Centre is what I'm saying.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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"Under the seeeaa, under the seeeaa,
We'll fight some barracudas,
With gills, don't need scuba,
Under the seeeeeaa!"
We start a new book and we're DOING IT LIVE! This week we're joined by some of our regular listeners to help make the decisions and fight the battles with the Demons of the Deep...
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
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We have the code, but do we have the will to continue? Probably not, but it's glory or bust as we resolve to finish our stay on the Rebel Planet one way or another.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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Was there ever a time when we weren't playing Rebel Planet? This is the longest we have ever played anything, and as our sanity falls apart, apparently so does the fabric of reality within this story...
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
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Gregg Wallace continues on his murderous path, killing every living thing he comes across whilst looking for a sword and the last part of a binary code for some reason. This book should be over by now, why are we still here?
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
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Being a human on Radix isn’t much fun. When you’re not being racially profiled and arrested, you’re being thrown into gladiatorial arenas and fed slops. Space slops.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
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Ransacking a space museum, starting fights with innocent people and a return to a Campaign on Dice favourite - endless corridors! Space corridors!
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
When you're going through space-Customs, is it worse to have a laser sword or a "massage" robot in your luggage? It doesn't matter, because we've got both. Also, no trousers.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
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It's robo-hover-space-deja vu all over again, as we go shopping, get into pointless bar fights and have another go at solving a puzzle made for ten-year-olds.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
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We head back to Tropos as Martyn tackles the Rebel Planet and this time decides to pay attention and LISTEN! That will make more sense after you've heard the episode...
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
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Time for a big old space punch up, as Mark is cornered in a club with only a laser sword for protection and twice as much skill and stamina as all of his other opponents.
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
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What do you do after you fight lizard men armed with ice creams? Anything you like I suppose, but as with most roleplaying games the time has come for the inevitable shopping episode. All the fun of adding up numbers and writing things down. In space!
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
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It's time for a new adventure on the Rebel Planet, a science fiction story written in the 80s which means everything is a space-this or a hover-that or a robo-such-and-such. So put in your space-headphones and hover-listen to today's robo-episode.
May our space-stamina never hover-fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
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The Jazz Mind is dead. Long live the Swiss Army Knight. Probably not too long though, considering how badly last week's battles went. This week, a moral dilemma - save the president of the USA, or do the right thing?
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
The Jazz Mind faces his strongest foe yet as our listeners decided he should punch a rock monster with his normal human hands instead of running away. It's a pretty one-sided fight to the death, so don't blame us for stretching this episode out a bit.
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Last episode Jazz Mind saw off some radioactive dogs with his Jazz Mind powers, and if you were hoping animal cruelty wasn't going to rear its ugly head this episode you are about to be disappointed. Don't blame us, blame Steve for writing it. And for writing several other questionable things which have since been edited to be more acceptable for a 21st century audience.
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
We return to Titan city for another attempt to defeat the forces of F.E.A.R., or at least keep our appointment with it this time, as Martyn steps into the sparkly boots of a new hero with the power of "Magic Move Mind."
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Join us for our first Campaign On Dice Livestream, as Mark is thrown into a world he doesn't understand or care about, and Martyn provides little support as an under-prepared and overwhelmed Dungeon Master.
It's time to ruin Dungeons & Dragons for everyone as we search for The Lost Mine of Phandelver. Eventually. Probably.
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
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Criminals, by nature, are a cowardly and superstitious lot. To instill fear into their hearts, the Silver Crusader went to his local swimming pool for a bit of relaxing down time. This is pretty much how Mark would behave as a superhero, only with more biscuit-eating involved.
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
With great power there must also come great responsibility. But with rubbish powers you might as well go to an amusement park, right?
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Look, up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Yes, it's probably those things. Mark becomes an embarrassingly low tier superhero this week, bravely facing the evils of office work before creating as much street crime as he tackles.
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Our holidaymaking takes us to Palm Island this week, and Martyn is keen to use his magic bird stick to prove he's the best pirate.
This book is stupid.
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
The holiday cruise on the Seas of Blood continues as the crew of the Banshee head to Roc, which can't possibly be named after a giant murderous mythical bird that will want to peck everyone to death.
Still, at least there are plenty of crew members to help fight off any... oh.
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
We’re a jolly good ship with a jolly good crew,
Away for Trysta!
We can stick to the coast though we’re lost if we do,
And we’re bound for the Seas of Blood!
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
We've only got a limited amount of time, so it's vital that every single thing we do in this book advances the plot. With that in mind, Martyn goes gambling.
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
We’re starting a new book and a pirate adventure on the Seas Of Blood!
So come with me, to the rolling sea,
While the weather's calm and still.
And we'll have some fun and laughter
Watching all of the crew get killed.
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
It's all come down to this - the final confrontation with "Blaster" Babbet. And we only have two questions; one, who are we? And two, what are we doing here?
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Mark takes a break from space-crime solving to take part in space Total Wipeout, fighting cubes and spheres and three-eyed potato men, with and without gravity depending on whether Andrew Chapman remembers it exists or not.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
After solving the world's hardest riddle from last week, we're back on the trail of space drugs and a horrible woman. And by the end of this episode we will have vanquished one of them completely.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
The space vice squad are the best space policemen. Someone's done a space murder? No time for that, we're on the trail of some space drugs. Are the space drugs in that space building? Why not drive a space vehicle through the walls to find out? This is the best book I have ever read.
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
This may be the most exciting episode we've ever recorded, as we try to arrange a meeting with a man called Clive. There's also a sloop and a man in a tree, but the biggest casualty is the English language, which is mercilessly slaughtered and expires.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
It's time for a new adventure, as Mark goes undercover as a space cop in the space narcotics division. Just say no to space drugs, space kids. In space!
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
If you've felt yourself getting bored during the pandemic lockdown, take comfort from the fact that we have spent at least five hours between us exploring the Temple of Terror. Egyptian Skeletors and 90s panel show "comedians" stand between us and our goal. But does Nigel Havers have what we need in his sack...?
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
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No pearl, no handbell, no shame. There are bone flutes and golden showers though, as we continue to explore this temple of so-called terror, which frankly seems more and more like a seedy little sex dungeon every week.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Walking around art-filled corridors with a load of keys; this book should have been called Museum Caretaker. Of Terror.
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
It's corridors corridors corridors this week, as we travel from corridor to corridor, experiencing all the fun of navigating through corridors.
It's not all corridors though, because... oh wait, yes it is. It's all corridors. Sorry. "Sorridor."
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
We may or may not be in a temple, it's impossible to say. We could ask for directions, but the only people to ask are Rat Men and Catweazles.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
In the desert you can't remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain...
...apart from giant sandworms and scorpions that finished Mark off in our previous attempt. Will Martyn fair any better?
And is the last entry in this book "404 - Temple Not Found"?
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
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It's Martyn's turn to go looking for a temple in the book that should have been called "Boat-Trip-Desert-Holiday of Terror."
It's less catchy, but would have resulted in fewer angry and unsatisfied readers.
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Will we ever find a temple in this book about a temple? Not if this GIANT SANDWORM has anything to say about it. It's a battle for the ages as Mark squares off against his toughest opponent yet, with more than half the listeners betting against him...
May his stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
It's all bar fights, cannonball smites and long desert nights this episode, as we continue playing the increasingly inaccurately-titled Temple of Terror.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
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We're back in make believe medieval monster times as Mark takes on the Temple of Terror. Probably. Eventually. If we can make it through all the other locations we died at previously in Ian's meticulously made mind map of the land of Allansia...
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
We're on an important mission to pick up some extremely rare and valuable petrol, and we'll totally get on that right after we finish killing time in pointless death races, pimping our ride and stopping to investigate everything we come across. What could go wrong?
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Martyn's chatting up Chuck Norris and getting goaded into a death race this week, as he wastes petrol to gain petrol in this confusing installment of Freeway Fighter.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
We have another go at fighting freeways this week, as Martyn climbs into the adjusted and heavily reinforced seat of the Dodge Interceptor. He can't even drive!
May his stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Here in my car,
I can drop iron spikes,
I release oil sprays,
I can do handbrake turns,
In cars...
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
I like driving in my car; it don't look much but I've been far.
Blowing up a load of stuff; knuckle dusters make me tough.
I like driving in my car; even with a flat ty-re.
Taking on a biker gang; shooting bad men in the wang.
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
This book is nothing like Mad Max. It's a very different, completely original story about post apocalyptic road warriors fighting for fuel.
Stop thinking about Mad Max.
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
We go from Space Assassins to Space Ninja Warriors this week, as Martyn swings from Space girders and jumps through Space chutes in pursuit of Space Roger Daltrey. In Space!
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
It's a whole new ball game this week, and we don't mean Zero-G Fangball. We have to learn the rules of a tank battle game for no good reason, and end up putting the fate of the entire adventure in the hands of a dice roll.
Is it just me, or is there very little assassining going on in Space Assassin...?
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Space nazis with polished scalps and puzzling pig-men with whopping great disintegrators. Just another day in the life of a Space Ass-ass-in. I think I'd rather take my chances in the nearest airlock...
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
This week we make friends with a well-endowed stranger, wrestle massive tentacles with our bare hands, and steal a simpering head.
Space is weird.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
We're thrust into the future for a brand new adventure, as we recreate the most exciting part of all sci-fi franchises - crawling around in endless corridors and opening bland nondescript hatches. And whilst the admin in this book is horribly over-complicated, we do know one thing for sure... D = dead.
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
From a troll who may not be real, to a zombie pop star, to a monk with an insect on his head; every page of this book seems to have been created by a random encounter generator. But will we escape Orb with the Talisman? And will Mark eat the dick apple?
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
First we don't have the Talisman of Death, then we do have it, then we don't... will we have it by the end of this episode? Will we upset people with our bizarre array of accents? Will any of the characters take a bite of the glass pancake?
https://wagonwheels.libsyn.com/bonus-and-then-a-dog-turned-up-episode-2
May our stamina never fail!
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Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
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FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
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Last time we went home with a stranger. This time it's all seedy bars, gangs of thieves and cage fights. Join us in the downward spiral our lives have become since we started searching for the Talisman of Death. Anyone for slops?
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Are we on a quest for the Talisman of Death, or do we already have the Talisman of Death? Will anyone else offer us food from their nether regions? And will Mark get to meet the ENVOY OF DEATH? Find the answers to these questions and more by listening to this podcast. Listen to it now!
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
Welcome to Orb, a world full of talking creatures and dubious fruit storage, where accents are as varied as they are confusing. But what's the story about? Nobody knows!
May our stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: Battle of Pogs - Komiku
EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
WEBSITE: www.whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
After Mark was taken away by bad men last episode, it's Martyn's turn to enter the House of Hell and get boozed up with fear whilst a vampire and his butler try their best to kill him with hospitality.
May our stamina never fail!
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Trapped in a vampire’s house and scared half to death, now Mark is walking through mirrors. That’s what happens when you get drunk in the House of Hell.
What’s the point of this book anyway? To find a phone? To kill a vampire? To open all the doors? We do our best to achieve at least one of these goals in this week’s episode.
May our stamina never fail!
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Locked in a strange house full of scary things, desperately searching for a way out or a phone, the best thing you could do is get drunk. Mark has taken on the challenge to down some booze every time his fear level increases. Hope he doesn't lose his head.
That's a reference to a ghost that appears in the book.
May our stamina never fail!
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"Somebody’s knocking at the door,
Somebody’s ringing the bell.
Somebody’s listening at the window,
Oh no, it's the House of Hell..."
We’ve broken down on a dark and stormy night, so of course the most sensible thing to do is approach the spookiest house you can find and start snooping around. Just stay in your car and read a book. Maybe a Steve Jackson book. Not that Steve Jackson. The other Steve Jackson.
May our stamina never fail!
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We're back to our old tricks of listening at doors and sticking our finger into things we probably shouldn't, as we go looking for the Snow Witch and hope that she'll offer us some Turkish Delight instead of trying to kill us. It might happen, you don't know.
May our stamina never fail!
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Too fat to blend in with the elven slaves of the Snow Witch? Better lay off those sandwiches...
Things are looking bleak but we try to stay frosty whilst this adventure moves at a glacial pace. It would be cool if we could chill for a while, but we're doing the polar opposite.
See Ian, there are lots of different ways to describe cold things.
May our stamina never fail!
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Real provisions mean real danger as Martyn puts his stomach on the line to meet a listener challenge whilst climbing a mountain to hunt a Yeti. Why isn't everyone listening to this podcast? It sounds amazing.
May our stamina never fail!
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We made our way to Willowbend just like Poomchukker wanted - quest over, right? Then why are we still in this stupid swamp? Graph paper map, do your thing...
May our stamina never fail!
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With our stamina about to fail, you voted for us to have a fight with a massive scorpion. At this rate we'll never meet all the Norwegian 80s pop stars hanging around in this swamp for some reason.
May our stamina never fail!
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We're making good progress through the Scorpion Swamp, mostly thanks to our graph paper map. Just think, kids used to laugh at me for drawing imaginary maps on graph paper. Well who's laughing now? Still them probably.
May our stamina never fail!
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We took our chances with the mysterious Poomchukker, so now we're venturing into the Scorpion Swamp to meet wild Bee Gees and Evil Dead trees, casting spells that freeze and making lots of enemies.
May our stamina never fail!
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It's time to start a new adventure, and this time we've got no provisions, confusing new rules about spells and gems, and a Steve Jackson who isn't the real Steve Jackson. But will a new Steve Jackson be a better Steve Jackson?
May our stamina never fail!
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After last week's controversy, the audience has spoken and we were firmly told we didn't win. With that in mind, we decide to rewind time and have another go without the gold nugget. Because if we're going to lose, we're going to lose properly damn it.
So meet us back at the Hobgoblin's bridge, and let's go hunting for Lizard Kings!
May our stamina never fail!
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Tensions are running high on the Island of the Lizard King, as your hosts disagree about the location of a gold nugget. Sadly, an argument over a children’s book isn’t the worst thing Mark and Martyn have done in their podcasting careers, and Schrödinger’s gold nugget won’t get in the way of a good adventure. Or this one.
May our stamina never fail!
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In this episode we remember the reason we came to the Island of the Lizard King - to track down mediocre 90s electronic dance music bands and win their favour with the remains of dead things.
May our stamina never fail!
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Just another day on the island of the Lizard King, drinking all the liquids we find, trying on discarded clothes we happen to come across, and starting fights with everyone and everything we meet. We're like a tramp from a 70s sitcom.
May our stamina never fail!
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We travel to the Island of the Lizard King, and like typical British tourists head straight to the beach and end up fighting off crabs.
May our stamina never fail!
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If you only listen to one podcast with two grown men baffled by a riddle in a children's book this week, make it this one.
But what fate awaits Mark in the Deathtrap Dungeon? Will he survive longer than Martyn? Will he defeat Sukumvit and win the treasure? And what the hell is a Manticore?
May our stamina never fail!
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Accident in a dungeon? Have you died in a borehole and it wasn't your fault? You may be eligible to claim another go and send in your friend to claim the treasure you felt you were owed.
This week we see the results of democracy in action, as the listeners voted to send Mark into Deathtrap Dungeon to avenge Martyn's untimely death-by-giant-worm. Fresh from the City of Thieves, he's here to eat sandwiches and skin things... and he's all out of sandwiches. No wait, he's got ten.
May his stamina never fail!
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Prising jewels out of the heads of statues, retrieving treasure and artifacts from pits filled with unspeakable slimy creatures... Playing this book is as much fun as an Indiana Jones adventure. Unfortunately that adventure is "Kingdom of the Crystal Skull."
It's not fun is what I'm saying.
May our stamina never fail!
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A new quest awaits us as we go to another awful-sounding place in search of.... phhh, treasure? Glory? Boredom-removal? Your life would have to be pretty bad to make a conscious decision to visit a place called "Deathtrap Dungeon." Or the TripAdvisor reviews would have to be really good.
May our stamina never fail!
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We're gathering the ingredients to kill skeletal monstrosity Zanbar Bone. As our quest nears the end, will we have what it takes to defeat the bone-faced idiot? Let's just say I wouldn't want to be an undead skeleton man right now. Or ever. In general.
May our stamina never fail!
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So we've got the Hag's Hair, and we've got the Black Pearl, and this book is feeling increasingly like being a work experience kid at a builder's yard. Still, someone in the City of Thieves must have some tartan paint and bubbles for spirit levels. When the goblin gets back with our long wait we can ask him.
May our stamina never fail!
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How do you kill an evil skellington man? Undertake a convoluted treasure hunt through a city of thieves to find silver arrows and the ingredients to make a compound to rub into his eyes. I don't know about you, but I'd probably just go home.
May our stamina never fail!
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Three episodes into this book, things are getting tense... will we meet the wizard with the power to vanquish Zanbar Bone? Will Mark finish his natty ensemble made of dead things? Will we survive another episode so we don't have to buy the next book yet?
May our stamina never fail!
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How do you find a wizard in a city of thieves? Kill everything you meet and wear it as a hat? Yeah, that's as good a plan as we've ever had.
May our stamina never fail!
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Mark and Martyn are heading into the City of Thieves to find a wizard to stop a bad man from abducting a lady. Or something. Look, there was a lot of reading involved, and I was distracted by the finest broadsword ever. Watch out goblins, man-orcs and uh, guards who are just trying to do their jobs.
May their stamina never fail!
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Martyn and Mark are aimlessly travelling from planet to planet trying to find a way back to Earth. Will they escape the pointy stick-wielding aliens? Will they meet an advanced civilization with technology to get them home? And will they finally make a book last more than three episodes?
May their stamina never fail!
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Space.The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Traveller. Its two-episode-and-counting mission; to explore plagiarised ideas. To seek out old themes and poorly disguised copies of characters. To boldly steal what no other writer would dare.
May their stamina never fail!
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Your hosts start a new adventure as Martyn takes on the role of a starship traveller aboard the Starship Traveller in book four, Starship Traveller. Who said these books lacked imagination?
May their stamina never fail!
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Gathering a dead dwarf's hammer is hard work, and the path through the Forest of Doom is full of bandits. Literally full of bandits. Like you can't move for bloody bandits in this episode.
But will your hosts make it to the other side with both pieces of the hammer? And more importantly, will they get to use the Glove of Missile Dexterity?
May their stamina never fail!
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Mark and Martyn have survived a battle with a scared pig and a man who makes his living with his arms, but the Forest of Doom has many dangers. Dangers with hairy dicks.
May their stamina never fail!
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A new adventure awaits your hosts as a dying dwarf delivers a message about a broken hammer in the woods, and Mark and Martyn begin a shape-changing, arm-wrestling, pig-punching journey into the Forest of Doom!
May their stamina never fail!
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Fresh off the almost unbelievable success of the room full of deadly goblin games, Martyn and Mark push their luck to the limits as they face off against fire-eyed hags and tempting hard-to-reach boxes. Who needs stupid levitation spells anyway?
May their stamina never fail!
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Martyn and Mark venture deeper into the Citadel of Chaos, and after making some questionable life choices it starts to become apparent that Martyn needs to stop drinking all the liquid he comes across.
May their stamina never fail!
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After conquering Firetop Mountain our hosts begin a new quest in the Citadel of Chaos, where dogs and apes apparently cross-breed at will, and mysterious milky liquid is free for all.
May their stamina never fail!
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Roll up and role up; Mark and Martyn continue their search for the Warlock's treasure, as they prove it's possible to literally get lost in a book.
May their stamina never fail!
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Your W4B hosts Mark and Martyn choose their own adventure in the first episode of this new series, fighting goblins, orcs and their urge to set fire to straw mattresses as they begin a playthrough of the first Fighting Fantasy adventure book, the Warlock of Firetop Mountain.
May their stamina never fail!
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