Adversity to Advantage: Recent Episodes
Petra Velzeboer
Petra Velzeboer was raised in a religious cult with no education that erased her identity and future. Through depression, anxiety, alcohol dependence and suicidal thoughts she reached her rock bottom by age 25. Today her goal is to help others who are near their rock bottom to learn the fast track for improving their lives! Join Petra as she interviews people from all walks of life about their journey to discovering that their superpowers are nurtured in their pain and their success is crafted through their story.
“What really saved my life during that time was my ability to talk”
I am SUPER excited to have gotten the chance to interview the Legendary, Mental Health Power House that is Geoff McDonald!
Best known as a global advocate, campaigner and consultant who is passionate about addressing the stigma of mental ill health in workplaces, and about helping organisations embed purpose as a key driver of business performance. His sense of purpose to his work was catalysed by his diagnosis in 2008 of Anxiety fuelled depression.
Geoff shares his experience of mental ill health, his journey to recovery as well as what goes into a sustainable health and wellbeing initiative within the workplace.
We go deep on topics such as;
- Diagnosis of anxiety fuelled depression
- Learning to talk
- Taking responsibility for our wellbeing
- Health & Wellbeing plans in the workplace
- The stigma & shame associated with depression
- Taking accountability in order to get better
- The blessing of love during recovery
- Reintegrating at work
- Transition from employment into purpose
- Tools that contribute to maintaining recovery
Connect with Geoff and learn more about his work at geoffmcdonald.co.uk , linkedIn &Twitter. Hear more about our mental health work at Petra Velzeboer Ltd.
‘It’s not going back to business as normal, we’re in a very new era now and If you’re not stretching yourself to meet that you will get left behind’
Samantha Clarke is an amazing friend of mine, Happiness Consultant, TedX speaker and Author of Love it or Leave it . She advices global companies on Happiness at Work and supports people’s conscious decisions to either Love it or Leave it!
She is full of innovative advice for employers and employees on finding happiness in our work as well as providing practical tips on how we can all adjust to the change born from the pandemic!
We get practical on topics such as:
- Finding the opportunity in change and disruption
- Creating safe spaces for employees to be vulnerable
- Steps to becoming a change maker
- Challenging your belief system and evaluating your achievements
- Physical & Mental Health signs that it is time for change
- Widening our networks and making new contacts
- Balancing head and heart decisions
- Managing loneliness during the pandemic
- Championing your people to deliver their best
- Creating that work / life definition
- Preventing tech fatigue and creating wiser practices
Find out more by connecting with Samantha on Linkedin and you can see her full personal story in Episode 11 titled: How Badly do you Want it .
Find out more by connecting with Samantha on Linkedin and hear more about our mental health work at Petra Velzeboer Ltd.
You can catch a previous interview with Samantha How Badly do you Want it
Further Resources mentioned in this episode::
Micro Mentor
Life Coach Directory
Love it or Leave it
“When I came out…..I had completely unconditional support and love and I realised that’s sadly not the case for everyone”
I feel very privileged to interview Matthew Clements. Matthew is the Senior diversity and inclusion advisor at Herbert Smith Freehills and i have had the pleasure of working with him through the partnership between Medigold and PVL where i have been supporting the Mental Health strategy and training of HSF.
We discuss Mental health and his Matthew goes deep on his own experience of mental health and coming out to his family and friends.
We cover other topics such as:
- Challenges of mental health in the workplace
- HSF Thrive Strategy
- The evolution of how businesses understand mental health
- Promoting an inclusive culture
- Mental health champions
- Adapting to needs during the pandemic
- The build up to coming out to family and friends
- No longer being able to hide / the loss of control
- The benefits of coming out
- Looking back on yourself with kindness
- The ripple effects of shared stories & experiences
- Creating impact through authenticity
- Diversity & Inclusion in the workplace
- The mental health silver lining in the pandemic
- The need for organisations to step up mental health strategy
- Agile & remote working
- Non-negotiables around self-care
Connect with Matthew on Linkedin and hear more about our mental health work at Petra Velzeboer Ltd.
“You really can’t pour from an empty cup. You need to make sure you are ok first”
Ranked as one of the top 10 companies to work for by The Sunday Times and recently shortlisted for the REBA wellbeing awards, Hannah Meredith leads the way on Health and Wellbeing for MVF Global
We discuss the current and long-lasting impact of the pandemic on employees and their mental health and Hannah lends practical advice on how employers can implement mental health strategies.
Hannah also opens up about her personal struggles with anxiety how she’s learned to manage these effectively.
We cover topics such as:
- The impact of providing constant support on People Teams
- The longterm effects of covid-19 on mental health
- Home working and creating boundaries to thrive
- Company initiatives during lockdown to support mental health
- Understanding the needs of your workforce
- Cultivating an open culture
- The daily struggle anxiety struggle
- Practicing Self-awareness and coping strategies
- The importance of connection
- The Pandemic and relationships
- Aiming for prevention
- The opportunities arising from Covid
Connect with Hannah on Linkedin and hear more about our mental health work at Petra Velzeboer Ltd.
‘We have to adapt with the changing times and we have to adapt to what are employees are needing’
So excited to speak with Selena Alcover who is an Employee Experience Manager at National Grid.
We discuss the impact of the current pandemic on employees and Selena offers tangible advice to leaders on supporting their workforce through these challenging times as well as opening up about her own personal struggle of becoming a first time parent in the midst of a pandemic.
We go deep on:
- Remembering to ask for advice and help
- Stress and new challenges caused by the pandemic
- Adapting to the changing needs of employees
- The shared experience of the pandemic
- Leading by example and promoting work/life balance
- Driving mental health conversations and championing open culture in the workplace
- How to support employees during maternity
- Managing maternity cover dynamics
- The benefits of remote working
- Self -care during the pandemic
Connect with Selena on Linkedin and hear more about our mental health work at Petra Velzeboer Ltd.
‘I would say to anyone, speak and there is bravery in that even if you are vulnerable ‘
Tony Nneke is Chair of Oracle UKIE Cultural Harmony Network and passionate about Diversity and Inclusion as well as mental health.
Tony talks openly about needing to take time off work due to poor mental health and how leaders helped or hindered his experience in the workplace.
We go deep on:
- Practicing vulnerability at work
- The need to create supportive and safe environments in the workplace
- Engaging in mental health conversations in the workplace
- Impact of mental health on productivity
- Opening up to management and colleagues
- The feeling of shame around mental health
- The Power of Conversation
- Childhood experiences of mental health
- Recognising the trigger points and the ongoing journey
- Finding your own balance and boundaries
Connect with Tony on Linkedin and hear more about our mental health work at Petra Velzeboer Ltd.
‘I think you are a better leader if you bring your whole self to work ‘
I am so excited to have been introduced to Jules Parke-Robinson - with a 20 year career in the British Military and current experience as Chair of the British Wheelchair Basketball, she has amazing insights on motivating a team, men’s mental health and adapting to change.
We discuss her experiences of mental health and leadership in the workplace as well as retiring only to be thrust in a world where she didn’t feel she belonged and struggled to adapt into a new career phase. Anyone who’s a leader or has hit rock bottom will relate to this episode!
We go deep on:
- Creating an environment where it is safe to fail
- How attitudes to mental health have changed over the years in the military
- Creating impact and supporting people
- The challenge of being a woman in the military
- Demonstrating vulnerability as a leader
- Listening, space, permission and freedom
- Creating the right environment to support individuals to practice self-care
- Leading by example
- Allowing individuals to create their own boundaries
- Empowering people and demonstrating trust
- Understanding your workforce so you can nurture them and allow them to be their best self.
- Practicing self-care, parenting and adapting to change.
Connect with Jules on Linkedin and hear more about our mental health work at Petra Velzeboer Ltd.
‘As adults we seem to forget that we were once children ’
It was so great to speak with Sayce Holmes - Williams, CEO of Mentivity, Activist and key note speaker and a coach of young people.
Sayce has a passion for raising the aspirations of young people between the ages of 8 & 25 by sharing his own personal stories and experiences of his childhood journey growing up in south east London.
His organisation Mentivity is an inspirational mentoring organisation and alternative educational provision that provides aspirational support for young people, schools and parents through 1:1 mentoring and group conversation based learning.
We go deep on:
- Tapping into your childhood experiences
- The importance of empathy
- Understanding individual journeys without judgement
- Current mental health needs of young people
- The loss of communication in today’s society
- Skills needed to champion mental health
- Sharing vulnerable experiences
- Breaking the stigma of Counselling
- Stimulating critical thinking in youth
- Engaging young people in the workplace
- Guided discovery
- Incorporating inclusive and supportive behaviour into recruitment
Connect with Sayce on Linkedin and see more of his work at Mentivity
Super excited to have this conversation with David Allard, Part of the Petra Velzeboer team , David is now retired but has a wealth of experience as a CEO of a financial services organisation.
David shares with me his approach to mental health in the workplace and how CEOs can champion the cause , leading by example, creating the correct environment and promoting the correct culture amongst their workforce.
We discuss topics such as
- The importance of recruiting correctly
- Values
- An entitled generation?
- The need for patience
- Promoting open communication
- Recognising the signs as a leader
- Introducing fun & lightness to the workplace
- Developing a mental health strategy
- The bottom line
- Adapting to retirement
- Self-Care
- The future of the workplace
- The pressure of being positive as a leader / Choosing how to show up
Connect with on Linkedin and join the conversation at Petra Velzeboer Ltd.
The most important question you can ask someone, is the simplest, it’s “How are you?” I am so excited for this new season where we focus 10 episodes on mental health at work and the people that champion this conversation with organisations.
Rondette Smith is an executive director in Human Capital Management at Goldman Sachs. A member of the Diversity & inclusion team, she oversees the Black & Asian talent strategies across Europe, the Middle East & Africa. She is also part of our advisory board and works closely with the Petra Velzeboer Ltd team to help us advise companies on their mental health agenda.
Rondette knows the crucial importance of mental health in the workplace and her personal story of a boyfriend being sectioned after going missing, hits to the heart of why she is passionate about this topic.
We discuss topics such as:
- The changing narrative around mental health globally
- The impact of the C-19 Pandemic on Mental Health
- What companies can be doing to support their employees
- How to Lead by Example
- Creating effective forums where people can express themselves and learn
- Communicating your mental health parameters - what’s your ask?
- Home working & Mental Health
- The importance of Exercise and time out
- Dealing with personal trauma in the workplace
- Burnouts & non-negotiables
- Creating psychological safety with your team
- The detrimental effect of the lack of human contact during C-19
- Long term effects of C-19 on the workplace
- Supporting the race conversation
Connect with Rondette on Linkedin and join the conversation at Petra Velzeboer Ltd.
“I remember laying face down shirt ripped, phone gone, money gone and thinking if I lay here long enough il just die” Totally relating to Sam’s story of his descent into alcoholism and the shame associated with it, I just HAD to get Sam Church on the A2A podcast to share his journey with me.
Sam is a Mental Health Advocate, Sales Professional and Co-Founder of MENtality.
Having lived the majority of his life with poor mental health and still having to work on this on a daily basis Sam knows first-hand what it’s like to feel the pain of poor Mental Health.
Battling addiction, not sleeping, poor nutrition and closing off from the world was a daily routine for over a decade. Essentially Sam could not see a way out and fundamentality didn’t know how.
Today Sam leads a different life. Overcoming this adversity and changing his life completely Sam now wants to give others the education that he didn’t have.
We go deep on topics such as:
- MENtality
- Self-isolation
- Fascination of alcohol from a young age
- The Trauma trigger
- Path to alcohol
- Masking the addiction
- The catalyst moment for change
- Genetic predispositions
- Growth mindset
- Changing the habit and replacing the urge
- Non- negotiables to maintain being your best self
- Mediation & journaling
- Aligning your environment
Connect with Sam and learn more about MENtality Instagram , Linkedin
“When you fail, its just a moment, it’s not permanent, it doesn’t define you as a person”
Gavin Johnson has always been a keen sportsman, he started as a decathlete and moved into the javelin winning various national medals.
When Covid-19 hit, Gavin decided to change a few things in his life, focusing on writing, art and other business ventures with the hope of coming out of the pandemic better than he went in. He set about developing skills and began training to be a Life Coach which inspired him to write no less than 3 books!
We discuss the driving force behind his achievements as well as going deep on the importance of cognitive distortions and the impact it’s having on society and people.
Such a great conversation in which we touch on topics such as:
- Covid-19 and pivoting our intentions
- The path to athletic achievement
- Having the belief that you can achieve anything
- Knowing when it is time to quit or keep going
- Visualisation & mindset hacks
- Placing your energy in the right places
- Optimising your environment for success
- Breaking down goals to make them achievable
- The no-hope illusion
- Inner peace our greatest goal
- Racism in today’s society
Connect with Gavin and learn more about his book The Little Book of Empowerment at: gavinlisene.com and on Instagram
“If I drink now, there’s no point carrying on. I’ll just go and kill myself”
A passionate and avid sportsman, Enton played semi-professional football and was on track to follow his dream of playing as a career when a sliding doors moment changed everything. He fell gradually into a whirlwind life of addiction and homelessness.
Enton is now twelve years sober, he is a qualified Drugs and Alcohol counsellor and has worked as a support worker for local charities. His passion is now to support people and offer them opportunity and hope through sharing his journey.
Enton shares with me the experiences and influences that shaped the choices which would threaten to ruin his personal relationships and the life he once knew.
An honest and open conversation about addiction, homelessness and life in recovery.
We go deep on topics such as:
- Is addiction rooted in trauma
- Childhood anxiety
- First love break-up
- The appeal of alcohol
- Escapism through music
- Experimenting with cocaine
- Refusing to admit there is a problem
- Burning personal relationships
- Becoming homeless
- Lack of personal responsibility
- The changes since the start of recovery
- Rebuilding one step at a time
- Replacing addictions with addictions
- Suicide attempts
- Self-acceptance
Connect with Enton and learn more about his book Laid Bare at: therealbarefoot.co.uk Instagram , Twitter
“A lot of people that knew me could sense that something strange was going on”
I feel so privileged to speak with Wesley Alston as he opens up to me about his experience of living with Schizophrenia.
Wesley is 29 years old, from Greensboro, North Carolina, U.S.A. and started to experience symptoms of schizophrenia in 2011 at the age of 20. It was later that same year he was diagnosed. Through mentorship and support from a number of people including his family, psychiatrist and day program "Sanctuary House" Wesley has been able to regain stability over the last ten years. He now finds himself waking up every day feeling joyous and confident about his life.
We go deep on topics such as:
- The effects of Covid-19 on mental health
- First symptoms of Schizophrenia
- Being hospitalised
- Navigating the first few years after diagnosis
- The struggle of finding a compatible medication
- The stigma of mental health and the distancing of friends
- Reintegration into the workplace and education after diagnosis
- Battling the voices within
- Coping mechanisms to keep the best state of mental health
- Feeling of purpose and looking to the future
- Benefits of a good support system
- Practicing patience
- The importance of talking
Connect with Wesley more at: Instagram
Dr Phil Hopley helps me re-think entrepreneurship and the cult of busy!
This felt like a private advice session and so timely while scaling my business during one of the most challenging times globally.
As entrepreneurs we are excited about our work and presume that working flat out is the only way through! Dr Phil works with elite performers and challenges this idea explaining the 1 non-negotiable when it comes to sustaining high performance: RECOVERY!
Dr Phil’s training in forensic, general and sport psychiatry combined with a career playing premiership rugby has enabled him to develop his passion for the mental health of elite performance in sport and business.
We discuss:
- Cognitive Intervention Techniques
- Building competence around exposure and opportunity
- Modelling work Ethic
- Resilience and being prepared to fail
- Pursuing things that give you joy
- The resilience gene
- Covid-19 resilience & pressures
- Embedding Recovery behaviours into our lives
- Achieving balance
- Promoting the correct mental culture in the workplace
- Turning catastrophisation into looking for opportunity
Connect with Dr Phil and learn more about his work at: cognacity.co.uk, linkedIn , Twitter and Instagram
I’m very excited about this episode from a man who has been through an enormous amount but has channelled everything into passion and progress!
Matt Zinman is a personal success trainer whose varied experiences as an entrepreneur, athlete, single parent, caretaker, consultant and nonprofit founder drive him to be a difference-maker.
Matt suffered from depression since his early teens. Losing his Mother to HIV contracted from tainted blood during surgery and the loss of a brother to suicide, has forced Matt to develop coping skills and resilience throughout his life. Matt now lives each day to fulfil his goal to positively impact as many people as possible.
Matt opens up about his past catalyst moments and how he strengthened his mindset.
We discuss:
- Childhood defining moments
- Traumatic loss of a Mother & Sibling
- Managing depression through self-care
- Staying open through grief and finding support
- Depression misconceptions
- Recognising the signs
- Managing grief and moving forward
- Law of attraction & amplifying gratitude
- Post trauma parenting advice
Connect with Matthew and learn more about his work at: Z-isms.com , linkedIn , Twitter and Instagram Amazon author Page
“Your power your strength your confidence , comes from your physical state
Finding a cure for her sick son led ex lawyer Geeta Sidhu-Robb to be a successful Health Entrepreneur. She is a health & stress specialist who provides specialist health programmes for the over 40.
As well as explaining how stress impacts us, Geeta shares her inspiring story with me and details how she went from being homeless to creating her multi award winning empire.
We go deep on topics such as.
- Habit changing over 40
- Choosing to invest in ourselves
- Being conditioned throughout our lives
- Understanding Drive vs Stress
- Recognising Burnout
- Physical symptoms of stress
- Planning non -negotiables
- Meditation & Journalling
- Creating self-awareness
- Gender differences around stress
Connect with Geeta and learn more about her work at: NoshDetox.com , linkedIn , Twitter and Instagram
“There’s lots of ways we can show kindness, I think that goes a long way to supporting our mental health and wellbeing during these times”
Jonny Jacobs is the Financial Director of Starbucks, a Trustee for the Mental Health Foundation and an Advisory Board Member for Mental Health summit Mad World.
Jonny is passionate about engaging with businesses on the topic of mental health, challenging stigma and ensuring leadership is inclusive and purposeful, creating psychological safety in times of upheaval.
We discuss his childhood and how he became an advocate for Mental Health and his history raising awareness on the subject.
We touch on topics such as:
- How mental health conversations have evolved over the years
- Childhood adversity and influences
- Building resilience and resourcefulness
- Businesses and mental health
- The need for businesses to be authentic
- Line Management & mental health
- Leading by example in companies
- Encouraging kindness
- Remote working and supporting healthy cultures
- Psychological safety points and the need for empathy
Connect with Jonny and learn more about his work at: Mental Health Foundation , linkedIn , Twitter
“A Regret free life rather than a regretful life”
Travis Bell has had a Bucket List since the age of 18, but it wasn’t until he did his first seminar that he realised that this was not something that was common practice. From this realisation the ‘Bucket List Guy’ was born.
Spreading his message through keynote speaking, blogging, his podcast and a Tedx talk, Travis Bell revels in helping people to live a life of more meaning , more purpose and more fulfilment.
Travis takes me through how he became known as ‘The Bucket List Guy’ and the motivation behind inspiring others to realise their potential.
We discuss topics such as:
- The Bucket list concept
- Re-prioritising what matters in life
- Covid-19 - Moving from Confusion to Clarity
- Living by design instead of default
- Not playing small
- Articulating a bucket list
- Realising & Meeting our potential
- Entrepreneur DNA
- Self-development
- Changing the narrative around depression
- Finding purpose & meaning
Connect with Travis and learn more about his work at thebucketlistguy.com , linkedIn , Instagram & Twitter
“What really saved my life during that time was my ability to talk”
I am SUPER excited to have gotten the chance to interview the Legendary, Mental Health Power House that is Geoff McDonald!
Best known as a global advocate, campaigner and consultant who is passionate about addressing the stigma of mental ill health in workplaces, and about helping organisations embed purpose as a key driver of business performance. His sense of purpose to his work was catalysed by his diagnosis in 2008 of Anxiety fuelled depression.
Geoff shares with me his experience with mental health and his journey to recovery as well as the importance behind correct health and wellbeing initiatives within the workplace.
We go deep on topics such as;
- Diagnosis of anxiety fuelled depression
- The ability to talk
- Taking responsibility for balance
- Health & Wellbeing in the workplace
- Coming to terms with a diagnosis
- The stigma and associated shame of depression
- Taking accountability in order to get better
- The blessing of love during recovery
- The science of Love & Gratitude
- Returning to work and reintegrating
- The importance of a support network
- Transition of employment into purpose
- Tools that contribute to maintaining recovery
Connect with Geoff and learn more about his work at geoffmcdonald.co.uk , linkedIn & Twitter
Michael is an author and speaker on the topic of Aspergers and Autism. Non verbal until the age of 3 and diagnosed with high functioning autism at the age of 7, Michael has had to learn to adjust and adapt to living with Autism. He is now on a mission to change the world’s perception of autism and inspire through his talks.
Michael opens up about overcoming obstacles and his experience of living with Autism.
We go deep on topics such as
- Encouragement from supportive parents
- Maintaining a positive mindset
- The stigma surrounding Autism
- Adjusting and learning to live with Autism
- Self-development of social skills
- Support & Guidance needed
- Dating & social challenges
- The Media’s portrayal of Autism
- Routines and daily challenges
- Navigating relationships
You can learn more about and connect with Michael at michaelbarton.org.uk , linkedIn & Twitter
Check out Michael’s Books ,It's Raining Cats and Dogs and A Different Kettle of Fish
What if poor mental health was really just impacted by an imbalance in amino acids?
Amidst Johnny Quinn Alston’s portfolio career and through his brother’s mental illness, as well as struggling with mood and addiction questions in his own life, he read a book called The Mood Cure that radically altered his life.
Johnny shares how he educated himself and discovered the connection between his body and his mental health and the changes he put in place to switch up his physical state.
We go deep on physiology and mental health, touching on topics such as:
Covid-19 and adapting to the change
Why Mental Health is important
How investing in our inner core can keep us resilient
Experimenting with amino acids to aid mental health
Recognising and understanding body triggers
Simplifying and cleaning up your diet
Practicing self awareness
Taking proactive action to switch your emotional state and enjoy life!
You can get in touch with Johnny by emailing him at info@youalrightmate.org or find him at @https://youalrightmate.org or https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnny-quinn-alston-87345aa1/
“I remember going in to see a therapist and they said, do you think you would be happier if your mum was dead and I said yes”
My good friend Danny Rahim is an Actor and Mental Health speaker. At the age of 13 Danny’s Mother suffered from mental health issues and suicide ideation as a result of a serious accident in which she lost her unborn baby. This saw Danny forced to take on the role of sole carer for his mother. What followed was years of erratic behaviour from his mother and hardship for Danny. Despite managing to carve a successful career for himself, the combination of this child hood trauma and new episodes of adversity showing up in his life resulted in Danny attempting to take his own life.
During his journey of self-development , recovery & rehabilitation, Danny realised his life purpose. He now has a mission to help others recognise that there is support out there and that other options are available to them.
We discuss:
- Childhood trauma
- Pressure of caring for a parent at a young age
- Building resilience
- Creating a successful career despite adversity
- Suicide Ideation
- Rehabilitation after hitting rock bottom
- Identifying and utilising self help tools
- Finding purpose and giving back
- Checking in with yourself as a practice
- Setting & holding boundaries to protect your mental health
You can find out more about Danny and connect with him at LinkedIn or Speakers Collective
“By talking about him and talking about my experience, it keeps him with me”
In 2018 Bev’s son Jess, took his own life. Using her creativity to process her grief, Bev created a short film called “5 days to say goodbye” which documented the last 5 days which she spent with her son.
In this episode Bev opens up to me about her quest to find magic after the death of her son. A raw and honest conversation about suicide and the love, grief and promises surrounding it.
We discuss:
- Creativity & Laughter as coping mechanisms
- The meaning of magic
- Remembering Jess
- Mental health & Depression
- Learning to accept the choice of suicide
- The messy middle
- Avoiding sitting with the grief
- Release through feeling
- Continuing to show up
- Building resilience
You can find out more about Beverley and connect with her at www.beverleybishop.co.uk
“Unexpected things always happen”
If you’re currently struggling with the collective uncertainty of our times then this episode goes deep on the things we can do to support ourselves through crisis!
Minter Dial is a thought-leader, author, consultant and professional speaker. Having experienced and been witness to several terrorist attacks, Minter is no stranger to crisis.
In this episode Minter lends insight into the way he has dealt with past trauma and his coping mechanisms and we discuss how we can face up to uncertainty and crisis when it shows up in our lives.
We discuss:
- Business failures
- Covid-19 - a collective uncertainty
- Past traumas - 9/11
- Reflection and self-discovery - What gives you meaning?
- Moving from fear into the hope and love
- Learning to accept and let go
- Perspective gained from past trauma
- Habits and practices to support difficult times
You can find out more about Minter and connect with him at www.minterdial.com
Books: www.minterdial.com/books/
The Last Ring Home: www.thelastringhome.com
@mdial on Twitter
Podcast: www.minterdial.com/podcast
“If we all just don’t self-deify, then this world would be a better place”
Scott Shay is the co-founder of an American Bank and author of In Good Faith: Questioning Religion and Atheism, a book which explores the most common atheist critiques of the Bible and religion, incorporating Jewish, Christian, and Muslim voices.
In this episode Scott shares with me his belief systems around religion and the driving force behind writing his book.
We cover:
- Generational trauma - The son of a Holocaust survivor
- The resilience gene
- Realising your meaning in life
- Misconceptions of the bible
- Re-evaluation of religion and of atheism
- Cults, Idolatry and false prophets
- Why is it important to have a belief in god?
- Belief systems
- What can a belief in god give you
Check out Scott’s book - In Good Faith: Questioning Religion and Atheism
You can find out more about Scott and connect with him at Scottshay.com , Facebook
Jen Coken is an executive coach for Badass Boss Ladies, a national speaker and a best-selling author of "When I Die, Take My Panties," is an inspiring, raw, and at times, funny memoir about her mother’s battle with Ovarian Cancer.
Jen opens up about coping with her mother's death, her rock-bottom moments and what it took to push on through.
We discuss topics such as:
- Using courage built up from adversity to take chances
- Anger & rebellion during teenage years
- Learning & building resilience
- When I Die Take my Panties book
- Lessons learned from Mother’s passing
- Forced resignation and reaching rock bottom
- The grief process
- Continuing to show up
- Managing the ‘Messy Middle’
- Pivoting during Covid-19
- How to work through your rock bottom moments
You can find out more about Jen and connect with her at www.jencoken.com , LinkedIN, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
Check out Jen’s book When I Die, Take My Panties: Turning Your Darkest Moments into Your Greatest Gifts
“We can’t control what is going on out there but we can choose what we focus on”
My good friend Sam Kiani is a Human potential coach , yogi, runner and long time meditator with a love for freedom. In this episode we discuss the resilience needed to deal with the current Covid-19 environment t and how there is in fact the potential for us all to actually find opportunities in what feels like such a rock bottom moment in time!
Sam explains how exposure to childhood trauma brought on by leaving home at the age of 14 to escape an abusive alcoholic mother, enabled her to develop the skills needed to help with todays climate.
We delve into topics such as:
- Who gets resilience
- The power we all have to choose where we put our focus
- Where there is great change there are great opportunities
- Using breathing techniques to alter our state
- Investing in ourselves to maximise our potential
- Learning to let love in
- Childhood trauma
- Focussing on the want instead of the lack of
- Understanding what it is to be human
- Learning to let go
- How anxiety and stress shows up in our bodies
- Finding opportunity in rock bottom moments
- Putting the brakes on and concentrating on self development
- Building & evolving confidence
Hear more about Sam’s amazing work at Inspired World or over on Instagram and LinkedIn
“It’s not just one phase, it’s not just one stereotype. It can affect anyone”
When Paul McGregor lost his father to suicide it left him with unanswered questions and he struggled to process grief in a world where silence is revered as a man’s way of coping.
His father had been so perfect; he ran religiously, read self-help books, had a career and a happy family. Without knowing anything about mental health, it seemed to Paul that everything descended into chaos fast, as he visited his father in a depressing mental institution where he eventually was released, taking his life soon after.
After lots of confusion, Paul took up therapy and educated himself on mental illness and how to talk so he could process the grief. Over time he’s found purpose in his pain and now delivers his message of hope as a mental Health Speaker, Advocate & Author and is driven to create change by normalising mental health conversations and breaking down the stigma that surrounds conversations about our minds and emotions.
This is a hopeful conversation covering grief and life after suicide. We cover:
- Family Conditioning and not having language around mental health
- The unimaginable loss of a father through suicide
- The hopeless unanswered questions
- Masking grief
- How mental health hospitals need to drastically change to support recovery
- The grief roller coaster
- Finding purpose in the pain
- Nurturing good mental health & Wellbeing
- The benefits of therapy
- Learning to ask for help
Check out the wonderful work Paul is doing at www. pmcgregor.com or Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , Twitter
With swirling media attention on fear and panic, listen to this short episode to help you shift your perspective and connect into your inner wisdom.
After weeks of ‘being strong’ and being there for other people, I found myself caught up in the fear narrative, reactively looking for work, thinking I’d lose everything and that everything’s gone to shit.
After tears and white knuckling, a job hunt (even though I am lucky to have resources to last for some months) I decided to close my eyes and meditate. Without any specific breathing exercises or cool methods, I simply sat open-palmed putting my attention on the energy in the air and noticing the wisdom around me.
Just this short time brought my cortisol down and tapped me into the wisdom that is all around us! My own inner-innate wisdom which reduced panic, recalibrated trust in the universe and allowed me to know the next right steps for me.
Listen to this episode if you want to find a way to connect to your own source and understand the next right steps for you during these troubling times.
Let me know your thoughts on Insta: @petra.velzeboer
“I cannot succeed at connecting and succeed at contributing if i am not taking care of thriving”
Tony Loyd is a best-selling author, keynote speaker, and coach. He helps purpose-driven business leaders to thrive so that they can connect and contribute at deeper levels.
In 2018 Tony’s friend asked him 'How are you?’ ~ For the first time Tony chose to admit to his current state of depression. This realisation led him to many moments of despair and overwhelm, but after being introduced to Johann Hari’s - The Lost Connections , Tony realised that the hope for a better future was actually within his control, off the back of this he committed himself to living a year of personal bests.
We discuss topics such as:
- The impact of family dynamics on later life
- Coping with violence in the home
- Resilience - Are we born with it or do we develop it?
- Developing a growth mindset
- Holding a mirror up to ourselves
- Admitting to depression
- Taking action over the cause of depression
- Showing up & being fully you
- Creating boundaries to protect our wellbeing
- Thrive, Connect, Contribute
- Practicing self reflection
- Remembering to focus and invest in ourselves - Thrive First!
You can grab yourself a FREE copy of Tony’s Best Selling book- Crazy Good Advice by emailing Tony via his website Tonyloyd.com and mentioning ‘ADVERSITY TO ADVANTAGE’
Connect with Tony further on the following social platforms
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyLoydSocialEntrepreneur/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anthonyloyd/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tonyloyd/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TonyLoyd
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/tonyloyd
'These are the times that we train for'
If you're getting overwhelmed by all the news coming at us about how bad the world is and need a reminder of what's in your control then this episode is for you.
The impact of Covid-19 mentally and emotionally is unprecedented and it's easy to get caught up in fear and worry about what will become of us all. This episode reminds us of the mindset that will get us through these times and allow us to focus on gratitude, connection and what's truly important in life!
If we've been investing in ourselves over the years, training our brain in gratitude, focussing our attention on developing a growth mindset, then this time is space for that resolve to be tested. Will your rise or will you let it overwhelm you? The choice is yours.
I offer advice on how to support those around you in compassion, to reach out to friendships and remind yourself of what's truly important in life. In a world of consumerism, relentless hustle and drive, there may just be a blessing to be found in slowing down and supporting each other!
Remember that isolation can be just has hard for many of us as being physically ill. Try FaceTiming so that people can see you and feel closer connection rather than just texting, reaching out to the elderly in your area to see if they need support and try modelling a growth mindset to your children and disrupt the everything's-bad conversation by asking people what they're grateful for!
“I just need to save one life….if I change one man’s journey then I did my job”
In 2014 Ben Akers lost his childhood best friend to suicide. Crushed by grief and shaken by the fact that no one saw the signs, Ben created a documentary about male mental health that would be shown in pubs, gyms and anywhere guys hung out in order to reach men who wouldn’t normally be part of the mental health conversation.
Ben is on a mission to help men talk long before feeling hopeless and so alone that they consider taking their lives.
We discuss:
- Male suicide
- Masculine conditioning - show no weakness
- Discovering purpose through grief
- The powerful impact of men being vulnerable with other men
- Equipping men to adequately fulfil modern roles
- Talk Club- keeping mentally fit
- Falling apart before TedX Royal Tunbridge Wells
- Taking care of ourselves and those around us
You can find out more about Ben, watch is documentary or join a Talk Club through the links below:
Wetalkclub.com
www.facebook.com/STEVEDOCUMENTARY
Insta: @STEVEDOCUMENTARY @Madewithltd @TalkClubUK
Twitter: @SteveDoco @benakers @Madewith_ @TalkClubUK
Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/…/open-up-not-man-up/id1499145604
“My mum and dad should never have been together, they shouldn’t have been a couple” Instead of fond childhood memories, Allen Johnson recalls the volatile relationship of his parents which led to his mother leaving the family home, childhood anxiety, feelings of despair and a father who abused alcohol. With no clear career or life direction, Allen turned to petty crime, avoided school and eventually was forced to move in with his grandparents. At his lowest, with no role models to help him figure a way out, Allen thought of ending it all. Slowly Allen was exposed to new ways of thinking and investing in his personal development, giving him the courage to make the impulsive decision to start a business when he and his fiancé had a baby on the way. This episode explores how trauma can show up in our lives and what we can do to consciously make a change. We go deep on topics such as:
The longterm affects of a dysfunctional childhood
Living with anxiety
The impact of his mother leaving
Growing up with an alcoholic parent
Quest for Personal development
Cultivating change
How trauma shows up
Finding good in situations
Being a healthier version of yourself - with no blueprint for health as a child
Anxiety coping mechanisms
Move to entrepreneurship
You can connect with Allen in the following ways: Podcast - The MindShift Movement Facebook Page - AJ Fitness & Mindset Coaching Website - ajfitmindcoaching.co.uk Instagram - @ajfitmindcoaching
“If I’m able to think, i’m able to survive”
I’m excited about this episode with my good friend, author, speaker and thought leader Jonathan MacDonald. We’ve spent hours talking about good ideas vs great ones, consciousness, relationships, being our best selves, vulnerability and finding meaning in the hits.
I’ve been wanting Jonathan on the podcast for AGES and we’ve finally got a great conversation covering so many topics including:
- Our own responsibility in cycles of abuse - why we just keep going back to learn the same thing
- Jonathan’s love of data to track change
- The benefits of therapy - having a mirror held up to our insides
- The long term impact of early experiences including being fostered, adopted, bullying and racism
- Finding a strange comfort in mental abuse after physical abuse
- Cycles of abuse and recognising our own patterns
- How can we prevent repeat cycles of abuse?
- The benefits of practicing vulnerability
- Showing up, insecurities and all
- Despair and the choices we have in how we respond
- How the dark times teach us what truly matters
- Manifestation - how it works and how we use it
This is a deep and insightful conversation that I’m thrilled to share so you can kick off your week and get real with yourself!
Connect with Jonathan on Instagram at @jmacdonald
YouTube: www.youtube.com/user/thejonathanmacdonald
Website: jonathanmacdonald.com
I don’t have a problem with alcohol or drugs, I have a problem with me and life and alcohol and drugs are my solution to it”
Tim Love is a musician who started experimenting with drugs and alcohol in his late teens. Frequent use made him feel more interesting and brave at parties and like a rock star on stage leading eventually to many rock-bottom points that would almost cost him his wife and children.
An honest and open conversation about the joys and costs of addiction discussed from one addict to another.
We go deep on topics such as: - The musical hustle - Are we born addicts or are we made? - Getting sober is only the first step – we then have to LIVE with all the feelings that life offers - Breakdown and recovery - The shame of being an addicted parent - The connection between trauma and addiction - How to live one day at a time - Our personal approach to self care - Nurturing a gratitude practice - Practicing honesty no matter what
Connect with Tim Love on Instagram at @timloveguitar
Matt Kendall is an IEMT Trainer and Practitioner. Having studied NLP and Hypnotherapy for over 10 years, Matt has a wealth of experience dealing with clients with a range of issues including trauma and anxiety.
Matt's main focus is working with clients with social anxiety and low self esteem. Using IEMT (Integral Eye Movement Therapy) he helps his clients to reduce anxiety and treat negative memories and trauma.
Matt is also the founder of the largest NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), Psychology and Hypnosis Meetup group in the World. Interesting Talks London attracts speakers to talk on therapy and self development.
An interesting conversation about alternative trauma therapy!
We discuss:
Hypnotherapy beginnings
Mindset Vs Skillset
Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT)
Emotion extremes and the importance of finding that ‘normal’ range
Re-processing Trauma
Change work Vs Care & Support
Experimenting and finding what works for you.
You can find out more about Matt and IEMT on his Website https://www.iemtacademy.com/ and see his work on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/iemtacademy
And also connect with him on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/iemtacademy/ , Instagram https://www.instagram.com/iemtacademy/ and LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/themattkendall/
So sometimes I get overwhelmed with new information and just need to figure out stuff for myself. After an evening switching off watching a boxset cause my body was overwhelmed with work, I felt lazy and maybe even worse off than when I started!
This rant is me wondering if there is another way to look at self-care and get myself feeling great again. Why is it I push myself to the absolute limit and then have nothing left in me but the CRASH button!
For anyone who’s ever wondered what balance could look like for them, I go deep on:
How I boost my mental state
Flipping the excuses into action
Recognising exhaustion and what our body needs
Fight or flight mode vs peace
Our inner critic telling us we’re lazy
Importance of routines & habits for investing in ourselves
Experimenting with Self Care & Self Compassion
Practising being present
Being conscious instead of numbing our feelings
Putting steps in place to avoid overwhelm
Entrepreneurship hustle and a way to stay sane
Connect with me on Instagram @PetraVelzeboer
AAAaaahhh so today I’m introducing David Taylor, my boyfriend!
We’ve been in a relationship for the past 6 months and decided, what better way to explore what a healthy relationship could be than by using our real live situation as review material!
It’s a scary conversation to post because we’re not experts but we’ve both been in toxic relationships and really want to come at this one from a place of total honesty, personal responsibility and openness to the possibility of a healthy relationship no matter what is in our past.
What better way to think about adversity than the adversity that shows up in relationships! It’s a place where a mirror is held up to us so closely that we can either learn at a faster rate than ever before or get triggered into a spiral of self-worth or trauma issues! We’ve been dancing between both but are talking the whole way trying to review and learn. I hope you love the show!
We cover:
Radical honesty
What we’ve learned from past relationships
Recognising our own patterns and taking responsibility
Our first date!
Talking about our mental health early on
Nurturing a growth mindset in relationships
Commitment phobias - Petra’s boomeranging behaviours
Testing the boundaries of our relationship
Vulnerability in saying the ‘L’ word
The hardest parts of our relationship - from each perspective
Our first argument
Practicing accountability within relationships
Daily reviewing for learning
Facing fears and letting go within our relationship
Dealing with trauma triggered by safety
Our hopes for the future
Creating a collaborative environment
What are your biggest relationship challenges? Can you see yourselves in our discussion? What’s the biggest thing you’ve learned within relationships? Find me on Instagram or LinkedIn and let me know your thoughts :)
@PetraVelzeboer https://www.linkedin.com/in/petra-velzeboer/
I wanted to take my life a few times, I crashed my car, I fainted on the tube’
Laura Hearn has spent most of her life living a parallel life. Battling with Anorexia since her teens, Laura struggled with thoughts of suicide, self- punishment and extreme loneliness brought on by her eating disorder. Her turning point came through her mother selling her house to fund an 8 month stay in the States on a recovery programme where she discovered her true meaning and purpose outside of anorexia.
Laura is now in recovery and runs a global peer support community, connecting everyone affected by an eating disorder or mental health issue.
Join me for this honest and open discussion with Laura on topics such as:
Living a Parallel life
Relapsing
Characteristics of an anorexia sufferer
Effects of trauma
Self punishment
Secrets and shame
Gratitude born from Anorexia
Being let down by the NHS
The Loneliness of Anorexia
American recovery programme
Discovering meaning & purpose
Nourishment for the soul and mind in order to recover
Tools to maintain mental health
Importance of relationships
You can learn more about Laura and her amazing work by visiting jiggsyplace.com
‘Where you are is not your final station, work hard and things will change’
I learnt so much through this interview and didn’t want it to end!
Dorothy Mulanda has experienced unfathomable loss in her life but has used it as her catalyst to support others in their grief recovery process. In this podcast Dorothy explains the important stages of grief and how we can best support those who are encountering it. We discuss the need to put emotion back into grief and the different ways that we can build resilience in order to cope. Asking ourselves what we can learn from grief rather than allowing it to consume us.
We go deep on
Compassion fatigue
Practising vulnerability
Learning to say no
Mental health
Building resilience
Unspeakable loss through death of loved ones
Not being allowed to grieve
Practising compassion
Health and wellbeing and nurturing yourself
Having a positive mindset
The need for rituals
How to support those who are grieving
Investing in our relationships now - how to fully live!
If you’ve ever experienced loss this is the inspirational episode for you!
Find out more about Dorothy’s amazing life and grief work at DorothyMulanda.com
“Eventually I flipped out so bad that I purposely drove a car off the road”
Hearing voices and diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia, Don Karp endured many mental hospital stays before breaking free and carving out a life in New Mexico.
In this podcast Don shares his honest experiences of mental health challenges, the stigma surrounding Paranoid Schizophrenia and shares his advice and tools for coping and living a good life.
We go deep on topics such as:
Leaving a legacy
Childhood self-perception
Navigating ‘fitting in’
Paranoia through drug use
Hearing voices and understanding their purpose
Admission to mental hospitals
Managing a mental illness & the stigma attached
Building resilience
Being self-aware
The need for Community support
Tools to support mental health
The negative side of the medicalised approach to mental health
Please join me for this honest and exciting episode!
You can connect with Don further at DonKarp.com
‘How can I become a better version of myself, for me & the people around me’
Welcome to 2020! I discuss everything goal & intention setting with Sian Winfield, a Startup Directional Coach who specialises in working with CEOs and Founders to work smart, work lean and be the very best version of themselves.
This episode is filled with advice & tips for creating achievable goals to help you become the best version of you!
We discuss:
How to establish your own style
Setting goals that are right for you
Working smarter not harder
Adapting as you grow
Recognising when to outsource
How to effectively reflect on your year
Establish where you want to be and steps to get there
Celebrating the wins
Mindset & how it can help us to focus
Goal setting whilst in a tricky place
Practising consistency
You can connect with Sian through her website www.sianwinfield.com
Or over on Twitter: @sianwinfield and Instagram: @sian.winfield
’The tough stuff comes up when the good stuff is happening’
Are you excited about 2020 or absolutely dreading the work involved? Join me for my New Years rant, reviewing my own year, learning and intentions for the New Year including some existential questions that will hopefully provoke some new perspectives!
I talk:
Excitement for 2020
Changing my hustle tactic
Signs of Burnout - when your body lets you down!
How to build the skills needed for the next level
What does balance mean and how can you make it work for you
Create your own 2020 - there are no rules!
Planning & prioritising fun over work
It matters as much as you want it to - we get to create our own meaning!
The ART of letting go
Ask yourself the tough stuff
What is your intention?
Get in touch on Insta @PetraVelzeboer
Happy New Year!
Javier Gutierrez found himself incarcerated at a time in his life when he should have had everything straight. Released from prison with no plan in mind, Javier faced several employment knock backs before catching a break in the fitness industry where he soon made a name for himself.
Javier now works to empower people inside and outside of the gym to adopt a healthy mind and body. His approach towards a positive mindset and lifestyle has led to invitations to speak at local charity, non-profit, and corporate events.
We discuss:
How our parents sometimes know what they’re talking about!
Healthy body influences a healthy mind
Masculine conditioning and how to overcome it
The shock of incarceration
Taking self responsibility
Learning from hindsight
Growth Mindset
Valuing time
Find what works best for you
Preparing for adversity and embracing it
Prioritise physical and mental health
Connect with Javier at javiergutierrez.net and on Instagram and Twitter @fitnesswjavier
‘My first suicide attempt was at the age of seven’
Self harming from the age of 4 and attempting suicide by the age of 7, Andrea Woodside has faced a life of relentless challenges including, child molestation, bullying, rape & suicide ideation. Refusing to let these events define her she made a conscious choice to take control of her life and erase all toxicity. Andrea now has a goal to leave the world a better place than she found it.
A true story of going from adversity to advantage - we go deep on topics such as:
Childhood trauma
Suicide ideation
Sexual molestation / bullying / rape
The Resilience gene
Hitting Rock bottom
Realising you are not to blame
Recognising the need for help
Eradicating the toxicity
Finding and practicing Purpose
A reminder of intrinsic value
The cycle of recovery
Cultivating a healthy lifestyle
Practicing connection
Andrea runs Minding Work Ltd - a workplace wellbeing consultancy supporting employers to create and sustain healthier workplaces. You can connect with her on LinkedIn & Twitter
What could be more apt for this podcast than a guest who is the author of a book called Adversity to Advantage!
Randy Ginsburg a natural born entrepreneur who has always been fascinated with creating his own opportunities. Creating a business in high school selling sneakers, he developed a love for entrepreneurship despite hiding the pain which he was being subjected to from bullies. Overcoming bullying and using it as fuel to develop himself in the world of business, Randy went on to research highly successful entrepreneurs who also suffered from bullying to see if there was a correlation.
A fact filled, honest conversation about the highs and lows of entrepreneurship and the tough life stuff!
We go deep on:
Motivation behind the book
Resilience learned through adversity
Bullying in childhood
Hiding emotional stress - The mask of being ok!
Learning to stand up and have a voice
The art of public speaking - authenticity
How confidence is built
The blessing of being bullied
The dark side of entrepreneurship
Support systems for entrepreneurs
Third door moments
You can learn more about Randy at www.randymginsburg.com where you can also purchase his book Adversity to Advantage: How to overcome bullying & find entrepreneurial success
On November 25th I attended This Can Happen, an annual mental health conference focussing on empowering employers to create mentally healthy work environments.
With loads of speakers on a variety of topics, I spent time in the breaks interviewing attendees, speakers and sponsors asking them about their personal passion connected to the topic of mental health and their suggested tools for looking after ourselves.
Filled with the buzz of the event, this is an exciting episode with lots of ideas about mental health in the workplace! Featuring TLC Lions, Spill, Beyond Shame Beyond Stigma, Unmind and many more.
Welcome to episode 111 where I talk through how Giving Back supports our mental health and wellbeing. We don’t need to be ‘fixed’ in order to support someone else, what ends up happening is we get sweet relief from our own obsessive thinking while also doing good in the world.
In giving back, I talk about:
The benefits to our mental health
Start before you’re ready
Sweet relief from victim mode
Connecting stories helps us realise we’re not alone
Boundaries and personal balance
Recognising the worth in volunteering
Building Self worth through giving back
Creating community in a world of isolation
Incorporating giving back into day to day life
Practicing Courage - getting out of our comfort zone
Cultivating curiosity
Skill benefits
Experiment!
Showing up and realising your truest potential
Celebrating the wins
Just start!
Hope you enjoy this episode and get started volunteering and being there for others!
‘Everywhere I go I have the possibility I have saved someone’s life’
Frank King, aka The Mental Health Comedian, is a Suicide Prevention and Postvention Public Speaker and Trainer. Suffering from Chronic Suicidal Ideation caused by generational depression and suicide, Frank uses humour to turn his lifelong battle into a keynote worth spreading.
A brutally honest conversation about the reality of Suicide & Depression covering topics such as:
Childhood and suicide in the family
Birth of a comedian
Why comedy?
Living with Depression
Suicidal ideation
Suicide or Take the risk
Medication
Holistic approach
Turning pain into purpose
Saying ‘Something’ not necessarily the ‘Right Thing’
Noticing the signs of suicide intention
Mental state honesty
Sharing ‘The Mess’ with somebody
Find out more and connect with Frank over on his website The Mental Health Comedian and watch his TEDx Talk A Matter of Laugh or Death
My good friend Steph Bosset joins me for a live discussion on the pitfalls of modern dating, looking after our mental health and figuring out how to pick the right person in what seems like our throwaway society.
After my divorce and Steph’s breakup of a long term relationship, we consider how to heal, learn from our past and create a mindset that can both protect us and leave us open and vulnerable to love.
We discuss:
The fallout of breakups and separationsBreak ups and seperations
ning to enjoy the journey
Practising openness
Social media & research (stalking) :)
Reevaluating the tools
Commitment & honesty
Emotional attachment
Open relationships
Learning to sit with yourself
Consciously dating
Connect to Steph on Twitter @39_stephs or LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephaniebosset/
Gary Young is the founder of The Mindful Enterprise and is passionate about using mindfulness as a tool for wellbeing and personal growth.
In this episode Gary talks openly about his experience with depression and the moment he realised his son would repeat the male-family-cycle if he didn’t make a dramatic change in his life! Using meditation and the practice of gratitude helped put an end to a dark pattern repeating through the generations.
We go deep on topics such as:
The idea behind The Mindful Enterprise
The challenge of being mindful
Allowing yourself to just be.
The disconnection of our internal environment in favour of technology
Lack of direction and true purpose
The gained wisdom of doing nothing
Becoming more aware of our thought activity
Protecting our energy
Slowing down in order to let ourselves speed up
The effect of Childhood trauma
Habit change
Healing & Growth
You can connect more with Gary through his organisation The Mindful Enterprise or on LinkedIn
If you want to know the rules for dating, this episode is for you!
Faisal Kokhar is an international coach and speaker, renowned for tackling the topics of masculine & feminine energy and how to get back to truly communicating and courting when dating and has helped loads of people get back to true connection!
I’m fascinated by the topic of dating in this fast paced, app fuelled, me-me society! I’ve spent 2 years experimenting with lots of ways of being on the dating scene, so we go deep on topics such as:
Relationship disconnect
Becoming conscious of our own behaviours
Our instinctive defensive reactions in relationship
Taking radical resopnsibility
Reprogramming our brain
Staying curious and letting down the walls of hurt and shame
Dealing with the dark & low moments
Connecting to yourself first
80/20 rule
Logical v Emotional approaches
Being present in a world of distraction
Left and right brain vulnerability
You can find out more about Faisal at faisk.com
I have a love / hate relationship with the concept of Letting Go!
I’ve also been experimenting with it! With surrendering, trying a new approach, trusting the universe, getting out of survival skills and I’ve been seeing amazing results. I can’t quite tell which results are coming from my relentless hustle and which are coming from the letting go, but I do know one thing: I’m enjoying the journey a whole lot more.
In my 30 minute rant I cover:
The goal setting illusion
Being open to unknown possibilities: you don’t know what you don’t know
The downside of trusting
Relentless forward action
Channelling energy
Utilising survival skills
What the hell ‘letting go’ really means in practice
Grappling with HOW & choosing to experiment with letting go instead of attaching myself
How letting go has led me to finding my person :)
How our belief systems make us fight this concept!
Focus on the being not the doing.
Hold yourself to account
I can’t believe I now use words like SURRENDER & MAGIC! I used to cringe at these words and to be honest I still do! I don’t have all the answers but let’s grapple with these ideas myself and see if we can’t find YOU a little bit of MAGIC!
’When you treat people in a loving way they are more prone to respond in a loving and cooperative way’’
Love LOVE my conversation with Dr Bruno as he fully understands the work I do with businesses in creating environments that our mentally healthy, wholesome and places where people LOVE coming in to work! He’s got a book out that maps out how to create cultural change, he science-backs the stuff I feel in my bones!
We talk:
Purpose of the book
Leaders who lead by FEAR & PRESSURE
How employees thrive when they feel safe at work
Authenticity vs wearing a mask
How to do compassionate leadership
Principle of reciprocity
Constructive feedback
The need for reflection in business
Work fulfilment
Wellbeing practices
Dr Bruno’s book is available here : The Art of Compassionate Business
Connect more with Dr Bruno at humanorientedenterprise.com
‘Some things are more important than fear’
My good friend Jonny Ward is a firefighter, psychotherapist and outstanding mental health campaigner!
Plagued by anxiety and experiencing the loss of friends through suicide, Jonny was driven to kickstart his passion to de-stigmatise and change the perception of mental health amongst men. After much work and learning, Jonny no longer fears his anxiety , instead he’s learned techniques to help him challenge it and meet it head on.
Jonny opens up about his experience of dealing with anxiety and the stigma surrounding male mental health.
We go deep on :
Birth of the Anxious Fireman
Masculinity & Mental Health
Suicide loss
Male conditioning & childhood
Being vulnerable
Recognising Anxiety
Self doubt
Coping in the workplace
Addiction: Using alcohol as a coping mechanism
Finding the root cause
Learning the skill of honesty
Removing the power of Anxiety
Tools for managing anxiety
Sustaining good mental health while living your mission!
It’s ok to be vulnerable people! Openness and vulnerability reduces the power , strength and the fear of whatever we are facing.
Connect with Johnny at The Anxious Fireman or on twitter @anxiousfireman
Craig Lewis has had a lifetime of trauma. Wrongly placed in Psychiatric care by his parents at the age of 14, he was misdiagnosed with a mental illness and subjected to years of medication which poorly affected his mental health.
Finally escaping the cycle of medication four years ago, surviving on sofas and streets, Craig now dedicates his life to being an advocate for disadvantaged people. This is a provocative conversation about living with injustice and making sense of the world.
We go deep on topics such a:
Injustice
Being raised in institutions
The drive behind his passion to help others
Long term affects of trauma & medication
Cultivating Empathy instead of Anger
Radical forgiveness
Post traumatic stress
How compassion supports change
How we react is always a choice
Hopes for the future
Craig is a shining example of someone who has chosen to develop empathy and humanity towards others despite horrific losses, turning his adversity into advantage and choosing to love instead of repeating the toxic pattern he was exposed to.
Find Craig on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/v-b-91636284/
His book Better Days: A Mental Health Recovery Workbook is available now: Www.lulu.com/spotlight/betterdaysrecoverypress
We are all born entrepreneurs! We choose not to go in that direction
Martin Richards is an experienced educator and facilitator, with more than 10 year’s experience of coaching people through important changes in their lives.
We go deep on :
Connecting with teenagers & the drive behind it
Enabling young people to have a voice
The possibilities of entrepreneurship
Lack of challenge in normal workplaces
Admitting to needing help & embracing vulnerability
The drive for releasing potential in teenagers
Retirement when self-employed
Leaving a legacy
Key skills for young people
Follow your passions , it doesn’t have to be so linear!
Connect with Martin at Martinrichards.se
I simply LOVED this conversation with Sam Harris: A Nomadic Entrepreneur and mastermind behind the Growth Mindset podcast!
We go deep on the topic of a growth mindset: what it means, how building a growth mindset can essentially solve all your problems and the tricky situations Sam found himself in which allowed him to practice these ideas. Sam shares how he’s learned to tips to make good out of any situation by embracing fear!
We discuss:
Developing a Growth Mindset
The journey to becoming an entrepreneur
How to get excited by your FEAR
Showing up
Coping with negative experiences
The affect of relentless action on our mental health
Habits & Practices to continue Growth mindset
Setting your mindset up for growth
Everyone has the ability to learn any skill through hard work and perseverance , it really is all down to your mindset. Fear stops us from challenging ourselves Crisis & trauma can sometimes be the catalyst for something better!
You can connect more with sam at Samwebsterharris.com and listen to his podcast at Growthmindsetpodcast.com
It’s EPISODE 100!! And I’m so excited to get real about dating and what we learn through relationships & getting out of our comfort zone!
I cover:
Letting go to create space for new beginnings
How everything is a learning opportunity
Some ‘out there’ Shamanism & the energy rituals that can free us of past baggage
The terror of dating after 13 years
How dating is simply a skill that we can develop
How to listen to your body
Why we can be resistant to the ‘good stuff’ we’ve been wishing for
Does setting intentions really work?
Different Actions = Different results
The pitfalls of modern dating
Sitting with yourself and taking responsibility for the type of relationship you want
I hope you enjoy the topics & learn some skills for approaching dating, self awareness and relationships differently! Come find me on Instagram & me know what you think: @PetraVelzeboer
You know when you’re getting to the next level of something big! Something you are MEANT TO DO and the Universe is like … ‘REALLY…YOU SURE YOU CAN HANDLE THAT?!’
I’ve started writing my book (finally!!) and have been reading old cult literature and getting in the zone of vulnerability and it’s like the universe is going, are you sure you can handle the outcome of this, are you ready to build the mental muscle required to deal with the impact of this once it’s out there! Suddenly so many emotions, people from the past and old ways of being simply aren’t enough for this next level!
If you’ve ever thought that the universe throwing you a curve ball meant you shouldn’t be going in that direction, you might just be wrong! It might mean just keep moving closer!
I discuss:
Self Doubt
The aim of the book
The excuses that hold us back
Staying focussed
Fear of revisiting the past
The Tough Questions: Am I willing to pay the price of losing connections through telling my truth
Is it fair to tell my story - what gives us the right to tell our story on a public platform?
What fear is showing up in your life right now? Sometimes the best advice in the world just drowns out the voice inside our own hearts about what we think is right and know we should do.
Trust your own voice before other peoples. What is your intuition telling you about your purpose, the direction you need to take and who you’re meant to be?!
Go and do that!
You know I’ve done a lot of recent content on finding balance! Here’s my rant on loving the hustle! I refuse to apologise for loving to work hard, wanting to build something and feeling privileged every day to be able to build a business!
Listen to this one if you love the hustle and don’t want to apologise for creating something you’ve always dreamed of!
We cover:
There’s no shame in enjoying the hustle!
The long Silent Hustle - no guaranteed ROI
Moments of self-doubt - am I cut out for this?
Importance of setting your own boundaries
Have we really done enough?
Connecting to people with authentic curiosity
The real struggle - The dark , painful times.
Refusal to sit in self-pity. Your thoughts do not need to dictate what you do.
Tips & Hacks / Simplifying things / Powering through.
What’s the difference between networking & just hanging out
Active recovery
Alignment, being on the path that matches your needs
Cause & effect
Nobody to impress but ourselves!
Listen to this one if you’ve ever doubted yourself, wanted to build something and want to know what it takes to truly live your best self!
I LOVE the fact that we didn’t just talk about the story Jonny is known for! His rock bottom, standing on Waterloo bridge ready to jump…INSTEAD we talk about the messy middle of recovery and life after one of the most well-known mental health stories in the UK.
Award- winning mental health campaigner and author of ‘Stranger on the Bridge’, Jonny Benjamin was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder at the age of 20. Struggling with his sexuality and at the depths of suicidal despair, Jonny found himself on a bridge, ready to end it all. A Passing stranger talked Jonny down from the bridge, saving his life. That one day changed everything for Jonny and he now speaks publicly about living with mental illness, helping others transform their lives & his story can be seen in the Channel 4 Documentary Stranger on the Bridge.
In this interview Jonny speaks openly with me about his rock bottom moments and his ongoing journey of wellness.
We go deep on:
Lack of support available
His new charity: Beyond change Beyond Stigma
Dating & when to reveal your vulnerabilities: like having a mental illness
The gifts of diagnosis - Empathy/Creativity/self compassion
Learning to be honest about the messy journey
Putting yourself first
Being Authentic
Trusting and letting go
FINALLY Being Yourself
The need for change
Public speaking
New Book: The Stranger on the Bridge - My journey from Suicidal Despair to Hope
Please connect with at jonnybenjamin.co.uk
Ok guys, I recently got back from an amazing week away: nature, hiking, kayaking, digital detox & mostly just stopping to reflect on all sorts of things!
Welcome to an emotional, thought provoking rant on:
Hard truths on losing sight of what’s important
Asking myself the tough questions like: What do I LOVE & how to build a life around that!
The amazing rejuvenating benefits of ACTIVITY & NATURE
What it means to LET GO - in work, relationships, experiences
What it means to truly BELONG
The CULT of ACHIEVEMENT
Am I ENOUGH
And FINALLY, how to translate the amazing lessons I received from slowing down BACK into HECTIC CITY HUSTLE!
I hope you enjoy this episode & use it as a catalyst for reflecting on your own holidays or slow-down times in order to grow in a way the hustle never truly creates space for!
Joh Johnson facilities people’s journey to empowerment using sound therapy. Sound Therapy is a powerful self-empowering tool that can allow you to feel more in control, experience less pain and more peace.
Joh talks me through what triggered her Holistic journey and how she harnessed her inner calling and discovered the magic of sound therapy.
We Talk
Letting go and trusting the process
Imbalance and re-balance
Frequencies and energies
Intentions
Joh’s background
Music connections
Alternative therapy
Following your energy & your spirit instead of the ‘should’
Diagnosis of Breast cancer
Being who you are and not what people tell you to be
Being fearless
Discovery of sound therapy
We all should find the courage to step out of our comfort zones and get curious about the benefits of sound therapy to our health, both mentally and physically.
You can connect with jo at www.johjohnson.com
“Its not just about being a man, its about being a human being’
Ben Bidwell, better known as ‘The Naked Professor’, spent 30 years wearing a masculine mask before realising that it left no space for compassion, emotions or human connection. When this started affecting him sexually, he was desperate for a way through and asked his friends life coach if she could help him!
He began realising the cause wasn’t physical but was due to a disconnect with his emotions which kickstarted his journey of understanding himself and starting the scary path of showing up authentically no matter what kind of judgement showed up!
Now a Mindset & purpose coach , Ben coaches people to be their ‘Best Self’ through self awareness and vulnerability.
We go deep on:
Getting naked mentally & physically
Living a purposeful life
Transforming & being internally aware
Conditioning of masculinity
Sexual impact
Steps to change
Self Exploration /Practicing courage
Relationships
Embracing emotions
Vulnerability
Meditation & Self- Connection
An open and vulnerable discussion about self discovery and the forgotten human energy that makes us whole
Find out more about The Naked Professor at @thenakedprofessor
Stress by itself is neutral. Stress by definition is a force that causes good or bad change in our lives: it depends on we respond to it.’
Dr Amir Rashidian grew up in Iran during the revolution, vividly recalling unspeakable trauma he witnessed at a young age. These events led him commit his life to becoming a doctor, to saving lives, and preventing unnecessary death. Staying true to his word Dr Amir Rashidian is now the founder of the Mid Atlantic Clinic, which promotes the improving of health & managing the central cause of STRESS through drug free solutions. He is also author of ‘The StressProof Life: The Secret to Health, Wealth, and Happiness’
During this DEEP conversation we talk:
Where stress stems from
How stress has heightened in the world and is affecting all of us!
Childhood Trauma
We apply his techniques to managing PTSD in my own life
How we get sick from stress
How to build our ability to adapt to stress and build resilience
How far reaching chiropractic medicine goes (I had no idea!)
The science behind holistic care & how doctors let us down
Breathing techniques for managing trauma symptoms
Creating conscious choices around balance
You can connect with Dr Amir Rashidian at midatlanticclinic.com
‘The word forgiveness creep me out, it implies a giving in, a Christian approval that the perpetrator’s actions were ok’
I recently spoke to my mother about our past, the cult, not getting an education, her hopes and dreams. This is a short episode on forgiveness and moving on. It’s about how we need to take responsibility for our own development before confronting the breakdown of relationships, so that we can be our full adult selves rather than our hurt younger self.
Listen if you’ve ever:
Resented someone from your past
Felt anger towards a parent
Want to repair a relationship but aren’t sure how.
Let me know what you think and what challenges you’ve faced in reconciling your past!
“I had to move back into my mothers house,I was 23 I had to share a bed with her because I was in such a state”
What a privilege to go deep on the topics of breakdown, mental health, purpose, trauma and the music industry with Bill Ryder Jones!
Bill has been in the music industry for 20 years, starting his first band at 13, signing a record deal by the age of 16 & co-founding the band The Coral. He has since developed his career as a solo artist, singer-songwriter, musician and producer as well as talking openly about his mental health.
The experience of childhood trauma followed by the pressures of being a young musician contributed to Bill suffering from severe anxiety and dissociative episodes. His journey from Adversity to Advantage has fuelled his song writing and allowed him to have a platform to help others who suffer from similar mental health issues.
We get real about :
The lack of support for young people entering the creative industry
Adopting a persona when in a band
The need to invest in our mental health before we reach breaking point
The pressures of being a young musician
The death of Bill’s brother and the effect this had on Bill’s future actions and character
The healing power of music
Relationships
Building resilience
Our relationship with technology
Levelling techniques
Finding Joy
The lack of infrastructure for people who need help
This is a deep, honest and open conversation about loss, mental health and the lasting effects of trauma.
You can connect with Bill as well as find his latest album Yawny Yawn at billryderjones.co.uk
This episode is meant to bring up more questions than it does answers! I hope to provoke your own conscious thought process about the tough decisions you need to make based on radical honesty and self awareness rather than fear and avoidance!
I get ranty about LOTS of topics that are true for me right now:
What sustaining success looks like
How to know when a relationship or ‘situationship’ has come to an end
The normal messy part of growth
How the personal development industry is f***ing us up
Cultivating the ability to sit with ourselves
Fixed mindset prevents us from truly connecting with ourselves and other people
Listening to ourselves first rather than anyone else, chasing another ’should’
Holistic Health - letting go
Checking your belief systems - these could be holding you back
Loneliness and disconnection - Why are we afraid of being alone?
What season are you in now? Sometimes we need to toughen-up & buckle-down & sometimes it’s time to enjoy the benefit of our hard work.
Let me know your thoughts on this thought process!
Let me know your thoughts on Instagram or LinkedIn :)
@Petra.Velzeboer
An Entrepreneur since the age of 20 , Adam built an empire and earned millions, before losing it all overnight in the financial crisis of 2008.
It’s hard to believe Adam was once at rock bottom. His businesses are thriving, he has outstanding beach views and spend time with philanthropic causes that are dear to his heart including working with entrepreneurs, helping them build businesses that do good in the world.
Growing up, Adam leaned-in on the word entrepreneur, completely driven to prove his Dad wrong and show that he could be successful. By the age of 30, Adam’s successful company earned him 8 figures before the financial crisis made him lose millions overnight. He had to sell properties and return to working within the company free for 2 years. Now effectively broke at 30 , and his ego destroyed, Adam managed to just about save his company .
With a positive mindset and a dedication to personal growth, Adam managed to make himself a millionaire again in 3 years. This didn’t come easy though and he struggled with acute anxiety, vertigo and panic attacks which even hospitalised him. He discusses the importance of experiencing failure and the strength and lessons that lie behind insisting on the importance of nurturing your intuition in business.
We discuss
What is an Entrepreneur?
Using your adversity to your advantage
Failure & Mindset
Crisis points - the Stress & Weight of entrepreneurship
Getting back to personal growth & positivity
Recognising the moment of rebuilding
Listening to intuition
Entrepreneurship & relationships
An inspirational discussion about bouncing back and rebuilding when all has been lost.
Connect with Adam at www.Reliable.education
So I decided to get another good RANT going! The one is all about taking personal responsibility and changing your life in whatever way you see fit! Filled with tips, advice and ideas on practical ways to think & act differently!
I go deep on the topic of Human Connection: how it is the key factor to enhance our mental health.
I talk loneliness: How debilitating it is for our mental health & share ideas for disrupting small talk and going deep.
I get real about how we focus our attention, exciting you to your dreams and sharing ideas of how I moved from my rock bottom point to building a thriving business.
How to reframe everything as an opportunity for growth
I give ideas and tips about understanding what’s in our control and what’s out of it. This allows us to focus on our reaction to the struggle and what’s possible. Once we take responsibility , we can change things.
Get conscious about your life and day - go challenge yourself and do the small things each day to move yourself forward!
Hope you feel inspired to get real with where you’re at and make the tough decisions to move your life forward. Practice courage every day in small ways and then when the big ways come you’ll be ready!
If you’re looking for a speaker to get real about fear, conscious living, adversity, change or mental health, then get in touch today! petravelzeboer.com
‘In 30 minutes, anyone can resolve any kind of emotional difficulties… permanently’ This is the belief of Cedric Bertelli , founder of the Emotional Health Institute. Originally from the South of France, Cedric moved to California as a chef, managing restaurants for years. All his life he felt very anxious and experiencing bouts of anger and low grade depression. He trained himself to feel better, using psychotherapy or readily available methods like beating pillows or running around a fire! Fuelled by anger towards a co-worker and the need for a better way to control his emotions, Cedric discovered the TIPI program. The program claims that in 30 minutes anyone can permanently resolve any harmful emotion. Cedric learned the technique which allowed him to resolve his emotional difficulties himself. He discovered that anger is the repercussion of fear and overwhelms us if not tackled effectively. Enthralled by this technique, Cedric quit his job at the Ritz and moved back to France to study it in detail. He now teaches people how to resolve emotional patterns. We Talk: • The difference between your cognitive brain and your subconsciousness • How your brain predicts based on past events • The importance of not trying to understand or control the emotion & instead how you need to observe it - shifting from intellectual to sensatorial • Re- programming your brain to be ‘safe’ • Understanding how, in order to heal, we have to surrender An amazing interview which challenges what we think we know about psychological trauma and healing Connect with Cedric at www.emotionalhealthinstitute.org
‘‘With everything stripped away and with everything gone , there I was whole, i was complete , there was nothing missing from me. I knew I could lose my body and I would still be my whole being’’
Beth Martens mentors women entrepreneurs, leaders and creatives to find their source of love-based discipline. Named as Vice President of her fathers company by the age of 25, Beth had adversity dripped through responsibility & expectations her whole life. Diagnosed with stage four Lymphoma at 29, she realised how toxic her job had become.
Not only enduring 11 months of brutal chemotherapy, Beth had to sell her house to pay medical bills , give away all her possessions and move in with her parents. Despite her spiritual background she was not able to find any positivity and was at the brink of death, ready to surrender and give her life. Beth then realised that in that moment of having surrendered everything and being ready to let go of her life, like a miracle, she saw her true self and realised she could not lose who she really was. All sorrow and unhappiness was gone and in its place pure joy. Beth had found her purpose, who she was, she saw her blueprint.
We talk:
The fear of uncertainty
Being at the Brink of Death
Being aligned with your true purpose
How to recover and thrive
Taking action through love rather than fear
The power of surrender
A truly inspiring account of self- discovery and becoming awake!
To find out more about Beth visit - www.bethmartens.com
‘People are expecting you to be happy because you have a child , but here I am having all these doubts, having all this anxiety’
Emee is a chartered psychologist and Founder of the PAME Code. In this podcast she opens up about her struggle with being thrown into the unknown world of motherhood and having to leave the world of academia, which was all that she had known. She talks about the overwhelm surrounding the birth of her son, her return to work and the feelings of Imposter Syndrome that followed. Acceptance of her new role as a mother saved Emee from her darkest point and allowed her to step out of her comfort zone and tackle her fears head on.
We talk:
Losing your identity and purpose
Recognising Postnatal depression
Realising that fear is not your enemy
Embracing your new path
Having a growth mindset and not a fixed mindset
This is an honest conversation about the experience of postnatal depression and the realisation that embracing the new identities that come your way, will allow you to create an entirely new pathway to success.
Connect with Emee here : Website:http://thepamecode.com
Interviewing my big sister was an amazing privilege!
I respect her journey of truth, vulnerability and openness about the struggles that make us! There was some hesitation as she said she’s not at the end of her journey and I begged her, I said, please, people need to hear about the messy middle. This is what’s relatable and powerful!
As some of you know we have a colourful blended family, my big sister’s mother passed when our brother was 2 weeks old and she inherited 3 siblings when her dad & my mum started dating…well dating…cohabiting in the free-love cult The Children of God.
Phebe Whyte talks abortion in a small clinic in Nigeria. Alone. With all the god-guilt thrown on us! She begins life in the United States, struggles with education, parties, becomes a single mother & joins the rat race.
The accumulated trauma of life and desperately trying to fit in leads her to overwhelming stress, weight issues, the threat of diabetes and stroke and finally, slipping a disc in her back forcing her flat on her back, soon to lose her job and be threatened with eviction.
It was in this opportunity of total rock-bottom that all the small seeds of growth that had been planted over the years began to blossom. Barely able to move she listened to a course by Iyanla Vanzant and started practicing all the meditation and mindset tricks to move her forward.
Her life isn’t perfect but I was inspired beyond belief when I visited her in Atlanta in February. Her entire lifestyle has changed, she’s lost a third of her body-weight, her mindset is an inspirational and she regularly practices meditation and affirmations to allow her peace on the road to growing into her full potential.
Please listen to this one!!
I am inspired and thank my big sister Phebe for being brave in going through a similar path to me & building her pain into her purpose!
Founder of the Inside Out Leaderboard , Mental Health Campaigner Rob Stephenson, tells us how he turned his Bipolar diagnosis into his mission to create a more honest workplace.
Rob & I often cross paths in mental health circles, speaking at conferences, consulting on change or encouraging senior leaders to be open in talking about their mental health. I had the great privilege to showcase his story in this conversation. As you know I’m fascinated by what makes some people shrivel up in their diagnosis & what makes other people, the likes of Rob, use their adversity as a catalyst to help change the world.
Diagnosed at 30 with Bipolar Disorder, he realised he’d spent a life time learning to manage the condition in order to avoid the stigma and judgement he feared if anyone found out. He listened to inspirational speaker Geoff McDonald and this planted the seed to creating his own mission of openness and connection in the workplace.
We talk:
Learning to live with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder
Managing symptoms
Consistent honesty - when we all like to act as if the tough stuff was behind us and now it’s all good
Exercise and other tips for being your best self
How the world of work is changing
Find out more about Rob Stephenson and the incredible work he’s doing at: https://inside-out.org #SmashingTheStigma
What a privilege to interview these 2 young people on mental illness, being sectioned, suicidal & building a life of purpose.
Joel & Stella volunteered with the mental health project I used to work for about 5 years ago. They were 16 and 17.
They both have a mental health diagnosis, have been sectioned under the mental health act and spent some time in psychiatric hospitals. They have both been suicidal on more than one occasion, have self-harmed and attempted to take their own young lives.
They are also beautiful, passionate people who have turned their lives around and are creating a life of purpose.
Joel works for the rail service & Stella is training to be a paramedic.
We sometimes hang out at my flat, eat pizza, drink wine (well not me) and we straight talk about the struggles of life, we reminisce about the past and we think about what a close call we all had to our lives ending. We appreciate each other and I hope I tell them many times, how proud I am to watch them grow into beautiful adults.
This is an informal conversation catching up on all of those things. It’s a bit longer since it’s essentially an interview with 2 people. If you’ve ever wondered what a challenging mental health journey looks like at a young age, if you’ve ever wondered how to build your life up from crisis when you barely know who you are & want to rightfully rebel against authority then this episode will provide insight on all of those things. If you want to know the inside track on the mental health system & how empathy is everything, then know that young people aren't conditioned to be politically correct yet! That’s what I love about them!
It also challenges the myth that these journeys simply switch into perfection. They don’t. However they do highlight the messy, beautiful, sad, joyful road to recovery, filled with purpose, meaning and creating something meaningful.
Joel & Stella, I’m so proud of you both!
You inspire me.
A straight talk on staying sane while dating in the modern age.
I was in a relationship from the age of 22 to 35. My son was born at 23 and my daughter at 25. I spent 13 years in survival mode, raising kids, getting an education, trying to figure out my own identity and build a career.
When the relationship came to an end, I had teenagers, confidence in myself and was excited to find out what I’d been missing out on in this modern age of dating: where swiping, hooking-up, meeting online and what seemed like a million different ways of relating had emerged in liberal London. I was eager to jump right in.
Two years on, I’ve dated consistently, experienced, the highs of dating more than one person, deep intimacy as well as casual fun as well as the lows of ghosting, loneliness and unfulfilling sex. Mostly I’ve learned a whole lot about myself, who I am, what I want and what I think is the purpose of relationships.
This podcast is simply what I’ve learned. It’s my experience coupled with my knowledge of psychology, it’s mess ups & some advice on how to frame dating so it’s fun, that it’s about the journey not the conditioned Disney destination.
I cover things like: - Mindfully dating - Dating fatigue - Mental Health & dating - Personal responsibility & the chemistry that gets us into all sorts of tricky situations - How to reframe the dating game - What dating & relationships can teach us about our triggers, communication and vulnerability My key takeaways include: 1. Communicate from a place of vulnerability 2. Focus on your growth (that way there’s no bad date) 3. Have fun 4. Invest in yourself (you are the best investment for your relationship)
Let me know what you think
Founder of Reach the Peak, Cat Trebilco talks burnout and how changing her business to keep her near mountains saved her.
Starting out in a corporate banking career, the toxic work environment eventually took it’s toll leading to leaving her job and struggling to know what to do with her life. Spending about 6 months under her duvet, watching bad tv & seeing friends she slowly began building her life, a whole different life, that would combine her hobby and business in ways she could never have planned.
Using disruptive questions such as, ‘if you knew you couldn’t fail what would you do’, Cat began thinking outside of the box and wondered if combining her love of mountains with her new self-development path would work. Over time, she has built a thriving coaching practice that takes people out of their comfort zone, literally onto a mountain or in a forest or lakes in a nature to disrupt their thinking and give them new perspective on their life.
It’s amazing how much fresh air, body movement & processing our thoughts without intense eye-contact, can have on our ability to find our own solutions to our problems.
Known internationally as The Bipolar Businessman, Thomas has already reached 1 million people with his writing.
Thomas Duncan Bell, grew up with a destructive father in a volatile environment, his early years were raw, violent and overwhelming. Despite his raw talent on the stage, he was thrown out of a prominent theatre school because of his mental problems. Nevertheless, after battling through alcohol and drug addictions, he successfully turned his life around. Now, as an energetic keynote speaker Thomas Duncan Bell is on his way to becoming one of the UK’s most popular mental health speakers.
We talk:
Living with bipolar
The discipline of martial arts as a mindset tool
Releasing built up adrenaline through healthy means
Self harm & suicide attempts and finally…
How to ask for help & build a successful career with a diagnosis
Find Thomas Duncan Bell at https://thebipolarbusinessman.com
Karen’s world was ripped apart when her husband & father of her son was shot in his cross fit gym.
Karen Millsap, began her career in human resources and talent acquisition where she lead countless training, new process, and change initiatives. At a young age, she suddenly became a widow when her husband was tragically murdered which completely changed the trajectory of her life. After experiencing a domino effect of other losses, she became acutely aware of the overall lack of support in our society for grieving people. We are all connected through our struggles, from the death of loved ones, to life-altering illnesses, divorce, even job loss. This realization ignited Karen's desire to turn her pain into purpose and pay it forward to help others.
Karen's work has been featured in SHRM Magazine, on Good Morning Washington, MSNBC, and many others! She's also a regular contributor to Arianna Huffington's THRIVE Global community. Karen is a TEDx keynote speaker who inspires audiences to embrace compassion and empathy to help alleviate other’s suffering by becoming advocates for their own adversaries.
Karen is the CEO (Chief Empathy Officer) of Egency, a firm that helps organizations create a human-centric culture with compassion and empathy. She's also the author of the upcoming book, Now What? and founder of Well Now Global Retreats.
We talk:
The shock of loss
How to build your life from total chaos
Building purpose from your pain
The tactics for moving forward from any hardship
A moving, thought-provoking and insightful talk. You can find out more about Karen at: https://www.karenmillsap.com
Negative reinforcement starts the habit change, positive reinforcement helps them stick!
Founder of Pavlok.com, Maneesh Sethi talks us through habit change, how negative reinforcement works better than positive praise and the device that shocks you into habit change. He has one of the most watched shark tank pitches on YouTube and wants to create a world where we can all change those annoying habits we just can’t get rid of.
Diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, he was told a book deal would never be given to anyone under 25. This spurred him to spend 8 hours a day writing a book, lying about his age and getting a book deal at 16. He went on to write a blog trying about productivity and breaking habits, experimenting on his weight loss and writing goals. He decided to experiment with hiring someone from Craig’s List to slap him anytime he was on Facebook instead of writing. This led to writing an article titled: Why I hired a Slapper off CraigsList to get me off Facebook.
As slapper has a very different meaning in the UK, this article went viral and led to countless shows featuring his story. This led to creating a first prototype using a dog collar and a shock every time he went on Facebook, which began the idea of the Pavlok wrist band that shocks you to change your habits.
Join me on this journey of understanding how negative reinforcement can change habits for the long term.
We cover sugar addiction, weight loss, waking up, smoking and how to disrupt the thought that leads you to a repeat negative habit.
If you’re interested in the wearable device you can get a 15% off using the code PETRA.
If you’re interested in a free habit change coaching session email Maneesh at maneesh@pavlok.com
We talk cults, prejudice against women in business, bankruptcy & building life back up from ground zero.
Gang raped at 13, Madeleine Black talks shame, recovery, building a good life and yes, even forgiveness.
It’s never too late to get help & recover from our past so we can live in our present. Madeleine Black is a psychotherapist, speaker and author of the book: Unbroken, which chronicles her story and her lessons for getting through trauma.
Her father & his sister, both holocaust survivors, both dealt with their traumatic past in vastly different ways. Her father finding meaning and always holding onto hope, her Aunt stuck in her trauma, developing OCD and paranoia. Madeleine and my curiosity on the topic of what makes some people thrive & some people crash, leads to an exciting conversation about mindset, attitude and how to move through the horrific after affects of trauma.
We talk:
A range of therapies
Giving back through your pain
Not wanting to change the past as horrific as it was
How to accept and acknowledge your story
How to get rid of fear
And even … cultivating compassion for the rapists
If you’ve ever experienced trauma or want to understand more about the process of learning and recovery then this episode is for you. Find Madeleine and her book Unbroken here: https://madeleineblack.co.uk
At 59, Karen Briscoe is training for a half iron man, has scaled Macchu Picchu, run a triathlon and written a book about how consciously adding movement to your life, gives you energy for all the things you’ve ever wanted to do.
Karen has always been a high achiever, she runs a top real-estate agency in Washington and was living the dream in success, marriage and children. On the brink of burnout from relentless achievement she had a feeling that there must be something more and set on a personal development journey to discover what that was. We discuss:
A world where busy-ness is the new competitive arena
The belief systems that tell us we can’t spend time on ourselves - hers was realising she didn’t feel worthy of starting with herself.
How the oxygen mask analogy really only applies in a crisis situation
The epiphany that changed things: She realised the only person stopping her from living the fullest version of her life was her.
The construct of time - how we can create time for the things we love
The magic that happens when you cultivate movement and an open curiosity to what comes next
Practical tools for having a full and exciting life not just a busy one.
This episode is packed with tips, tools for getting started and such an infectious energy that you know this amazing woman is on to something!
You can find her podcast, books and courses at: http://www.5minutesuccess.com
I couldn’t get up this morning.
I was riddled with self-doubt and thought I should just get a F**king job. Entrepreneurship is not for me and I just need to go back to playing small cause this overwhelm of heaviness is just too much. I can’t hack it.
Given my visceral reaction, I thought there’s some growth going on here that’s worth sharing with you all. Perhaps we can grow together. I get tearful, I gesticulate, I get excited covering topics such as:
What does our mask of vulnerability (the bit we’re now comfortable showing the outside world), cover up (the bit we’re still scared to show anyone).
The self-doubt that can riddle our bodies if we know all the tools and mindset techniques in our minds
How the personal development industry can be guilty of fake vulnerability (no body wants to admit they aren’t always doing the right things, after all we’re the ones advising other people how to change their life! What if our life isn’t always CHANGED!?)
What growth looks like - we know that in theory it can be messy and ugly but don’t always notice it when it’s happening to us
How to reframe what’s possible, embrace learning and just keep fanning the flame of passion no matter how small it is or whether anyone else believes it!
‘I thought if I wasn’t perfect then Dad would leave to be with another family and Mum would kill herself…in the end both of those things happened’
Katie Phillips is a Coach, Founder of the School of Self Love and Author of The Self Love Affair: A woman’s guide to a daring and mighty life. A dynamic conversation about catalyst moments, repeating patterns from our past and the trap of co-dependency. As she took valium, closed the blinds and wished her life would end she woke up to the fact that she was repeating her mother’s exact actions and that ultimately if she had learned these behaviours from her mother, there was a way that she could learn other behaviours to create a different outcome.
We cover topics such as:
Co-dependant relationships … and how to get out of them
Surviving her mother’s suicide at 22
Living as a victim of circumstance for a decade
Conscious parenting
The messy middle - how working on yourself leads to all the right answers
The purpose of life: To more deeply know and love ourselves (which requires relentless growth)
This is an exciting conversation filled with practical tips for beginning to move your life forward from a catalyst moment and begin to build a totally different future.
Find Katie Phillips at: https://theschoolofself.love
‘My Dads suicide was like a bomb that highlighted any family fracture and created full blown chasms for two generations’
Sam Mitchell, CCO of Rise ,a workplace wellbeing platform, talks us through the life experiences that got him passionate about the wellbeing topic. He describes himself as a 41 year old male, conditioned to not talk or reflect on his mental health. He describes his Dad as physically present but emotionally never there while his mum made up for his flaws with unconditional love and connection.
His mum experienced anxiety and was addicted to valium, checking in to the priory well before it was cool. While they knew mental health issues were at play, no one in the family actually talked about these things and eventually at uni Simon experienced his own paranoid anxiety leading his Dad to come and get him in a moment of crisis. When asked what were the signs, he suspects that most people just thought he was a bit of a twat but underneath he was really struggling.
Getting accepted onto a graduate scheme he was successful on the outside but remembers spending lunch break in the bathroom arguing with the voices in his head. He showed a firm mask of confidence while his paranoia would creep in and make people uncomfortable. While struggling with his own demons silently and carving out a career for himself, his father lost his job and his identity. With no way of processing his loss of identity, his father ends up taking his own life. Their last conversation was an argument.
Simon goes into survival mode to look after his mum who is on dialysis and the fractures in the family begin their ripple affect. Three years later his mum passes away and Simon uproots his life to look after the dogs she left behind. Simon describes being a survivor, someone who just keeps going. He reflects on how his life simply became really small as he sat night after night in front of a laptop in 4 walls alone. It was only after taking a long break from work that the cracks started to show in his physical and mental health and he realised that something about his life had to change.
His life is worlds apart from what it was … vibrant, active and fully connected to his work and the people around him. Out of unbelievable tragedy he has carved out a life of openness, passion and friendship. An inspiring episode as this is the first time ever that Simon is telling his full story!
Connect with Simon on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/simon-mitchell-5a529879/ https://www.rise.today
A young carer who’s mother passed away leaving him with a violent father, Ed Moss ran away from home at 16 & never looked back.
Bouncing between sofas, homelessness, local authority housing and shelters, Ed muses on living amongst ex-sex-offenders being a relief from the constant noise of home. Learning skills for survival by looking after his sick mother, when she passed away the family fell apart, his father couldn’t cope & there were many occasions when Ed’s life was threatened. Leaving home at 16 he began the long journey of trying to get help, realising early on that he had to tell the most horrific parts of his story over and over in order to get his basic needs met like food and shelter.
Ed’s survival skills included pathological positivity and always looking out for others but eventually, in the last few years the repressed build up of emotions overwhelmed him on a packed train. He simply couldn’t stop crying and lay down on the train floor, while passengers moved to create space for him but no one spoke to him. Through therapy and life experience he realised his attachment to status (he was CEO for a charity at 28) but that life could be much more joyful if we took time to feel the sadness & process the pain.
He talks surviving a broken family, the concept of forgiveness and building a family of friends, living on a boat and changing his perspective on what success looks like.
Connect with Ed here: http://www.bridgingthegap.tips @theboatelf @edmossbtg
David Thirumur is a Social Entrepreneur, Youth Expert & Motivational Speaker who fought his way back from suicide, isolation and bullying in order to create a life he could be proud of.
Raised in India to a French mother & Indian father, he grew up one of 9 siblings with little money but a strong purpose of giving back to society. Feeling lost and isolated as a teenager, he convinced himself he was worthless and there was no purpose to the pain in his life. Running away overnight he considered the possibility of suicide, admitting he was probably just a coward for not following through and began to be open for small pieces of hope and learning to begin to build a life he could be proud of.
Filled with the science of habit change and practical information on how mindset changes everything, David talks us through his own experience as well as the tools he teaches to thousands of people to help them transform their lives. We discuss boundaries, how to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, the stories we tell ourselves and how they shape us and how to cultivate mental courage and manage stress.
Find out more about David at http://www.davidthirumur.com
The journey of building a business is hard! It’s fraught with anxiety, loneliness & self-doubt! My business coach and founder of CoStartup&Go talks us through productivity, how to manage the anxiety of entrepreneurship & how to add more time to your day!
Entrepreneurs can get lost in reacting to problems and forget to reflect and build a strategic vision for their business. Sian helps founders & CEOs think about the processes they need in place in order to scale, advises on productivity hacks, helps with strategic operations and all the little things in between that support small businesses to survive & grow.
We discuss whether entrepreneurs are born or made, the business plans she made as a child, adapting from a personal training business to her start up support company & how getting curious about what would be possible when working for yourself can allow your hidden entrepreneur space to emerge.
One of five children, she learned to have a voice if she wanted to be heard, developing independence young at boarding school, and discovered the work ethic that gave her the foundation for building a business while raising her son.
We talk about how to recognise transitions in business, how to put in systems and processes to place to adapt and keep our sanity and avoid burnout: this includes scheduling time to reflect, time with family so that it doesn’t get crowded out with work.
Her book The Lean Ways of Working is coming out in October 2019 which will distill the wisdom of getting the best out of yourself when building a business. I can’t wait! Find Sian at http://costartupandgo.com
Seb, a growth manager with Timewith, talks us through crippling anxiety and how he got through it.
Growing up in the expat community, attending an international school in sunny Spain, Seb didn’t experience much adversity as a child. At 13 he attended boarding school in the UK, excited to spread his wings and find his independence. Realising he was becoming lazy, he began putting himself in situations where he had to scrap in order to develop his personality and life skills until studying at uni he had a panic attack with no reference point for what that was.
With sleep affected, overthinking and endless physical ticks and symptoms, he was convinced he had a physical illness and nothing related to his mental health. Night terrors, noises in his ears, pressure all over his body and not worrying about anything concrete, he didn’t think the Doctor’s advice of a talking therapy would have any impact and went to an osteopath instead. Starting his first job he spent a lot of his energy hiding his symptoms, facing the day minute by minute on the brink of a panic attack. Step by step he found a way to move forward, his tips include:
Understand your triggers - including food
Find purpose in your work
Learn to meditate
Nurture a set of behaviours that are consistent with someone who is ok
If you’ve ever thought that you may have anxiety then this is the episode for you.
Find Seb at https://timewith.co.uk
Ok here goes! It’s just me this episode and I want to give you some hard-hitting advice on taking personal responsibility for your life. Everyone has a ‘reason’ for why they’re down, stuck, overwhelmed, not living their dream and slowly killing their unique impact in the world.
I realised that in 1-2-1 sessions my USP is my directness but in my online content I’m not communicating all the things I want to say, the things I’ve learned from my own life, from the conversations throughout this podcast and the hundreds of therapy, coaching clients and teams I’ve worked with over the years.
I got inspired on a walk with a friend and we focussed down on each of our missions, our stretch zone, our relentless search for growth and I realised that I’ve subtly gotten into another comfort zone, one that highlights other people’s stories but doesn’t really challenge growth online. So I want to bring more of what I do on the ground to what I do here and let you in on some secrets about recovery and change from a place of total rock bottom to relentless success and fulfilment.
As with any pivot I want to do in my work I know I need to put out the imperfect thoughts in order to help me build momentum to getting to the refined message, so here goes, I just put on the voice recorder in my car and captured my views on how to change your life!
If you’re stuck, overwhelmed, relentlessly seeking help and have decided to just accept your label, of your past, of poor mental health, of lack of fulfilment of mediocrity then listen to this episode and let me know what you think through the comments on the website or through Instagram Petra.velzeboer or twitter @PetraVelzeboer
I look forward to hearing from you!
Simon Jay is the Commercial Director for the Thrive App, but when he was younger he attempted to take his life long before he knew what depression was. This is a real story filled with practical steps for moving past the bring of despair.
Isolation and despair filled Simon’s brain as he took out a piece of paper and wrote a pro’s and con’s list with reasons to end his life or stay alive. He convinced himself that everyone else would be better off if he wasn’t here and attempted to take his life. Feeling like a failure even at suicide, Simon went through early adulthood putting so much pressure on himself to achieve or become something that he forgot how to live and just enjoy the journey of discovery.
He talks us through his thought process, male pride connected to being a provider, guilt, trying to keep everyone happy and what he’s learned about depression and how to cope. His top tips include staying connected to people, how to be more selfish and learning to take the pressure off (all this with a young baby and a relentless schedule).
Listen to this one if you’ve ever felt so low that you thought you had no one to turn to. There’s always hope.
Find Simon Jay at https://thrive.uk.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/simonjaythrive/
‘PTSD may always affect me but I get to decide how I react to it.’ Lloyd Dean experienced a horrific car crash leading to PTSD which he now manages through tips he shares on the podcast!
Growing up 1 of 7 kids, he describes life as chaotic but filled with creativity and learning to be resilient. As the Head of digital and innovative learning for EDF Energy, Lloyd lives in a masculine world where the stereotype is the thing to strive for: be the strong silent type, who is the main breadwinner who contributes to falseness in groups of men at the pub.
A horrific car accident and subsequent PTSD symptoms such as reacting to noise and intrusive thoughts, led him to begin his road to therapy, speaking out and experimenting with tips for being able to cope with a young family and a challenging work life. After experiencing EMDR trauma therapy he realised he may have had a pre-disposition to mental health issues and went on a mindfulness course, noticed the signs early and created the space he needed to accept and cope with his symptoms.
A powerful conversation for anyone who’s experienced trauma and wondered how to deal with it, speak about it and get back to being happy and successful.
Connect with Lloyd at https://www.linkedin.com/in/lloyddeanuk/
Ooohhhh this is a good one! Henry is a dynamic coach who is changing the world one powerful conversation at a time! But it wasn’t always this way…join us as we go deep into addiction, self-harm, suicidal ideation and the steps it takes to build a life from breaking point!
Henry’s story includes going to boarding school, being bullied by children & adults, feeling isolated, becoming a criminal to fuel his addictions, stealing from his own parents and eventually hitting his own rock bottoms. We talk through the appeal of the magical escape of alcohol when you can’t sit with who you are and need to inflict pain in order to feel alive. (Please be aware of the self-harm trigger warning in this conversation).
This led to the darkest point in Henry’s life where he lived in filth, vomit and piss and his family, out of desperation, called a social worker to take him to a mental health ward where he stayed for 2 months and from there stayed in a 12 step rehab for 6 months which set him up on the starter path to recovery and finding meaning and building a life of hope.
Shame is the theme that keeps us stuck in addiction and we explain the magic of having experienced the darkness to enable us to hold a safe space for people in our work and teach them how to overcome their biggest challenges. We explain how to choose to look at life as a place for growth and avoid the pity-party of victimhood and the ways we look after our mental health now to ensure we remain healthy and of service to others.
Find out more about Henry at: www.henryjohnstone.org
Scott Newby is on a mission to normalise mental health at work and his campaign #SeenNotScreen is about reminding ourselves to connect with the person away from screens.
Scott only told his mental health story last October which liberated him to leave his job at Lloyd Banking Group and follow his purpose of starting his own business focussing on wellbeing at work. He talks us through hearing his mother’s cancer had come back when he was at Uni, losing her in 2001, a series of depressive episodes which meant he sometimes couldn’t get out of bed, understanding the difference between grief and depression and finally going to therapy and asking for help.
Scott is down to earth and filled with practical tips for looking after your mental health from a preventative perspective, how to create mentally healthy workplaces and how following your purpose is good for your mental health. We’re excited to support his #SeenNotScreen campaign encouraging people to put their phones down and have a cup of tea with a friend and be fully present with them.
Find out more here: www.newbycore.co.uk/seennotscreen
Insta: @SNMentalHealth
Facebook: @NewbyCore Twitter: @ScottNewbyMentalHealth
After completing a music degree then training as a teacher and moving to East Timor, Jessica found herself unhappy, unfulfilled and longing for a change. Divorcing and seeing her 3 year old son only half of the time felt soul destroying so she decided to change things and left her job to do real estate. She realised quickly it wasn’t her thing, desperately asking her parents for rent money and realising something needed to change.
Jessica’s steps for success include:
Be around the right people - nurture a support network of people who are going places.
Get educated or experienced in the thing that brings you joy
Look after yourself - sleep, nutrition, exercise, meditation.
Create a vision
Find more about Jessica here http://jessicatosser.com
Investment Director for New Model Venture Capital, Jon looks after a portfolio of early stage businesses and talks about success amidst a backdrop of an MS diagnosis in his 20’s and a Cancer diagnosis at the height of his tech startup career.
Supportive early years, Jon describes himself as a ‘decent enough, entitled kid’ who hadn’t had to deal with much adversity. Moving into the family business at a young age, things started spinning out of control when his legs ‘turned to led’ at a conference and symptoms built up leading to a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. While the business struggled through a financial crisis, new investors were called in to save it and Jon experienced work discrimination, being told no ‘adjustments could be made and he was either working or could piss off’.
Jon then moved to an exciting tech startup Huddle where he worked hard and tried to ignore his diagnosis through drinking heavily and keeping up with everyone. He then found a lump and was quickly diagnosed with testicular cancer having an operation the very next day. He returned to work as soon as possible not wanting to miss out:
‘I didn’t want to be benched. I didn’t want to be the guy who gave up. I didn’t want to be the guy who said I’m not strong enough to get through this.’
Listen to the full interview for Jon’s realisations that everyone has a story, challenging his assumptions that everyone else’s life is perfect and only he was struggling and how practicing authenticity has changed the way he leads, mentors and makes decisions around flexibility, success, vulnerability and spending time with his wife and two children.
Join me and Professor Psychologist Smaranda Boros as we take a stroll in south east London and muse on the New Year, all the cliche’s around resolutions and debate our opinions on how to get what we want in the new year. This includes:
Are New Years resolutions healthy or unhealthy psychologically
How most people create goals based on other people’s opinions of what success looks like not truly basing them on what they want
Flow Vs Work Ethic
Dreams Vs Goals
How to ask yourself the right questions and make language personal to you. If the language around New Years resolutions, authenticity or challenges f**ks with your head then create a narrative that serves you
Should you share your dreams or keep them to yourself
And finally….
The liberation that comes with not giving a f**k about what anyone else thinks!
This is a fun debate filled with tips you can try on for size. Off the back of this one my resolution is to do more walking-in-park interviews with dynamic and interesting and opinionated people!
Check out Smaranda’s work here https://www.linkedin.com/in/smarandaboros/
Are you missing family, reflective, isolated & losing the ability to truly connect? Check out this frank discussion about loneliness, the benefits, challenges and tips for how to cope.
Join us as we challenge the taboo about loneliness in our Instagrammable society with the illusion of perfection and instead think about the growth opportunity. Petra and Daniel Holley chat through:
What we do when we have nothing to do
How to sit with ourselves
Self-pity Vs healthy alone time
The pain and benefit of being alone
How to change up your support network
Numbing to avoid sitting with ourselves
On the perfect path to actress success, a horrific motorbike accident changed everything and forced Suzy Bastone to reevaluate everything.
Raised in a perfect country-living life, attending one of the best musical theatre schools and getting her first job that had the potential to fully catapult her to success, life was exciting and perfect for the beautiful actress. Begging her boyfriend to allow her on the back of his motorbike for the short ten minute drive to work, a truck pulled out and formed the moment that which change her life for good. Flipping from the back of the motorbike and hitting her head on the truck, Suzy’s life hang in the balance as she recovered in hospital.
Eager to get back to work as soon as possible, her focus was to get back on the stage as quickly as possible and after just one show she realised her pace of life would have to change far longer than anticipated. Spiralling into shame, isolation, anxiety and depression, her psychological journey to recovery would take much longer than it took for her physical woulds to heal. ‘It’s like you have a brand new personality, one you don’t want to get to know…but you’re forced to’ Suzy explains. A rock bottom moment includes coming home one day after having her happy-mask on for everyone to see, closing the door in the dark and slumping down in tears not being able to move, not knowing how much time had passed…
Suzy talks perspective gained from being near death and her tips for building a life through adversity and allowing it to propel you to your true purpose.
‘When you’re that close to death, eventually you realise what’s important, what you want instead, you get over the bullshit and learn to be yourself’
Connect with Suzy on Instagram @suzybasetonecoaching
Writer, Novelist and co-founder of the first Conscious Relationship community, Anita Cassidy talks us through the slow rise of apathy and unhappiness in relationships and what to do about it.
Growing up with her Dad in the RAF she went to 6 different schools and was socialised to be the good girl, get perfect grades and cause no trouble. She hid the secret shame of overeating sweets in toilet-stalls which upgraded to wine as she became an adult. She learned to run away from pain through surface perfection but not having he language to understand feelings or what they may be telling her. A series of fed-up moments acted as her catalyst for change including being so hung over at her son’s Christmas play that all she could think about was trying not to vomit. She ended up giving up drink from one day to the next and began learning to have real conversations and listen to herself. Writing, reading and generally discovering what brought her joy led to the moment, on her 10 year wedding anniversary, where she broached the topic of not being happy in her marriage and wanting to explore new ways of being.
As Brene Brown says ‘When we numb pain we also numb joy’ and we discuss the benefits and challenges of opening ourselves up to pure JOY! Ask yourself, when was the last time you allowed yourself to fully go with the feeling of joy without immediately worrying about something bad happening.
We discuss:
How to talk about difficult things when it’s just a whisper of discontent not a shout
How to be ok with who you are no matter what other people might think
How to create space for reflection
How to embrace joy
Co-parenting after the conscious relationship conversation
How to understand anger and anxiety and what we’ve been allowed to feel as women
It’s a good one! Find information about Anita’s novels, coaching and conscious relationship community at http://www.anitacassidy.uk
If you’ve ever been cheated on, had to find a way to survive heartbreak and financially struggled to survive than this episode is for you.
Olga Geidane’s early conditioning was all about working 9-5, saving for a mortgage, getting married and retiring with no conversation about entrepreneurship, building the life you want or doing things seen as impossible by the culture she was raised in. She describes an innate desire for more, supported by watching the greats like Tony Robbins. Moving to the UK as a single mom with £100 in her pocket, she thought her life was building momentum when she’d found a job and had a boyfriend living with her.
She remembers being pregnant and working on her laptop as her boyfriend of 4 years slept, only to find pictures of him kissing another woman at the seaside and feeling the gut-wrenching-punch of shock. She woke him up and told him to leave, not knowing how she was going to survive financially and emotionally.
We discuss practical tips for getting over cheating and the financial distress a breakup can provoke. Including:
Decide to trust, just because you’ve been hurt doesn’t mean all people are evil.
Ask yourself for the lesson so that it doesn’t keep repeating
Working hard and listening to positive information can help move you through the shame hole of embarrassment
We then get into how our belief systems around money impact our ability to be successful in business and how communicating with boundaries makes all the difference to confidence and the possibility to achieve.
This is the episode for you if you’ve ever experienced heartbreak, parenting, built a business or generally decided to go against your family conditioning and create a life that you want. Find Olga at www.newlifekickstart.com
Health coach, abuse survivor, mother, Kathlene Monet has plenty of real advice on how to get through a rock bottom and thrive.
In an intensely emotionally-abusive relationship, unhealthy, unhappy and a new parent, Kathlene remembers calling crisis helplines, posting cries-for-help on social media and gaining 30 pounds eating to escape the way she was feeling. Slowly she grew just enough self-belief to make a plan and leave the father of her child while he slept.
This is where the Hollywood movie would end with the victory of leaving the relationship, however Kathlene discovered his belittling and critical voice in her own head long after the relationship ended. Realising that she could live with his voice in her head controlling how she felt forever if she didn’t do something about it, she began to read self-help books, learn about nutrition and experiment with all that she learned on herself.
She has slowly built a life of health and consciousness that practices self love through a mind-body connection: including prioritising self-care, nourishment through food, meditation and exercise that have helped her whole outlook on life and allowed her to begin sharing this message with other people who feel stuck and like their thoughts rule their feelings.
I enjoyed getting reminded again of how food impacts my brain and what I need to do to successfully balance entrepreneur life with sustainable health and happiness.
Find Kathlene at www.getvibrantlyhealthy.com
So excited to have Daniel Holley on again (remember his ADHD and belonging story in Episode 7?) discussing a topic dear to his heart: Unconscious Bias specifically in the coaching industry. If you’re a coach, client or simply a person interested in discussing the tough stuff, then listen in to learn how to check your conditioning and become more inclusive.
While coaches are meant to be self-aware, Daniel highlights how it’s a predominantly white male profession where we need to train ourselves to have the difficult conversations in order to create change. We talk the excuse of ‘good intention’ and how it’s the impact of our behaviour that we should be discussing. I think about my white privilege within a blended family and how the coaching community needs to enhance it’s ability to get real about our own bias so that we can be the best support to our clients.
Find Dan at @theonlyotherdan on Instagram and ask yourself the question: What Shapes the Way You View the World?
https://www.1stnature.co.uk
Founding Director of Qidanchi, Danielle Mensah talks self-harm, an abusive step-father, crisis at university and while managing a successful career in Financial services, spiralling into unhealthy eating and alcohol abuse patterns.
She’s filled with practical tips for getting yourself through tough times, gives an emotional and authentic explanation of self-harm and gives advice on creating a dream team of support around you.
Her business helps leaders live a life they love and employers create workplaces that people love to come to! She touches on physical and mental health, wellbeing and fulfilment. Get in touch with Danielle at: danielle@qidanchi.com or chat with her on LinkedIn: https://bit.ly/2PiUsU0
Author, TedX Speaker, Psychotherapist, William Pullen talks building up your empathy and intimacy skill and how active listening solves a host of problems.
We talk nature vs nurture, what drives therapists to become therapists and the break up that nearly destroyed him. Dating someone from a different culture, age, religion eventually led to a painful break up which made William want to hide away and isolate into his depression. We discuss how the shame of intense feelings can make us hide away as we try to nurture ourselves but can equally make us stuck in a habit of depressed feelings. William explains how running with a friend helped him emerge into the sunlight both physically and metaphorically and eventually this mindful practice of running led him to write a book titled ‘Run for your life’ https://bit.ly/2DgVhpB
Discipline is a fantastic practice for building resilience, there’s not a lot of resilience building opportunity staying at home watching Netflix. Go and live your life!
Website: https://dynamicrunningtherapy.co.uk
TedX talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sq6393AreD4
Founder and Director of Diverse Minds and former Head of Diversity at Imperial College, Leyla Okhai talks us through workplace bullying and how our worst experiences can make us!
Leyla was intensely bullied and excluded as a child and just as she thought she was free from these challenges, she started a job where a new form of bullying and manipulation continued. With family struggles going alongside, Leyla remained strong for herself and others for years before the build up of these experiences affected her own mental health and brought her to burnout.
She talks us through practical tips for recognising workplace bullying and what you can do about it, including how to make tough decisions, who to ask for help and how to look after your mental health.
For more tips and advice from Leyla Okhai see: https://diverseminds.co.uk
Ann Marie Smith is a Life Strategist who specialises in working through anxiety and panic attacks. She loves seeing people take control of their lives and knows that the best coaches are just in your life briefly before setting you free to practice what you’ve learned.
Ann Marie lived a breezy life up until the age of 18 when her brother was killed suddenly in a car accident. This led her down a spiral of drink, drugs and generally feeling overwhelmed and lost. After a relationship breakdown she descended into depression and anxiety for years, culminating in dropping out of her Masters course and regular panic attacks. Her crash point came when once again, she was unable to breathe at the fear of loss and realised she simply couldn’t keep living this way. She experienced a defining moment where she realised she had a choice: to simply take authority over her anxiety and determine that it wouldn’t lead her life anymore.
Through grief and the slow process of recovery, she built up a life of confidence and purpose that she now shares with others. She’s offering a free anxiety consultation giveaway to all podcast listeners to discuss what you’re going through. Contact her through her website:
http://alightersidetolife.blogspot.com Insta: alightersidetolife
Trevor Crane is an international best selling author, publisher, Greatness Quest podcast host and co-founder of superkidsbooks.com! But it wasn’t always this way…
Having gone through a $2.2 million bankruptcy where he lost his daughter and his daughter’s mother moved to another state, he’s learned the hard way that success is facing up to countless challenges and realising that as long as you don’t quit you don’t lose - you may fail, but you don’t lose!
About 20 minutes in Trevor hits on an emotional nerve with me as he talks through his formula for asking himself ‘What’s the gift, what’s the gift, what’s the gift…’ a hundred times a day in order to make sense of the tragedies that strike our lives. I get real in wondering how we find the gift in the things that hurt us the most and we go through actions for utilising our stories to create impactful messages for others.
He’s got some free books and gift in the links below! Amazing content that allows us to push our lives forward in a big way!
FREE EBOOKS:
How To Write The Right Book Free Download: https://bit.ly/2rsdKHs
Big Money Book Free Download: http://bit.ly/2Ca8qk3
To find out everything else about Trevor go here: https://www.trevorcrane.com
A rare condition called Misophonia threatened to ruin Stephen Thrifts chances at a happy life and has also played a part in helping him find his purpose.
Raised in a home with parents in conflict, he experienced extreme bullying at school which he told no one about due to his embarrassment at being a victim. His later marriage developed into a volatile relationship leading to divorce, leaving him so distraught he drank heavily and experienced suicidal ideation. Join me as I discuss how he moved forward to create a great life only to discover he was suffering from a rare condition, Misophonia, literally the ‘hatred of sounds’ with symptoms of irritability and an inability to remain in crowded and noisy places for long. This led to losing jobs and needing to change his entire life around to ensure he manages his condition.
Find Stephen and his inspirational career coaching work at stephenthrift.co.uk
Nate Bailey is a lead coach, trainer, author and speaker who helps people create the life they truly desire! A few years back Nate’s life was mediocre and his healthy, work and relationships were suffering. He realised he had to change things and has spent the last few years significantly turning his life around.
He’s lost weight, built a business, become an author and a better husband and father. He says ‘The purpose of life is to grow and expand every day’ so he makes sure he does hard stuff every day to build momentum. We break down how to change habits including getting clear on what you want and asking yourself if you’re committed!
His daily habits are focussed in these three points:
Sweat
Meditate
Create
Find Nate Bailey, his book and services at: http://www.natebaileyspeaks.com
Learn the practical steps for building your resilience and mental toughness from Psychologist, Coach and Author Sarajane Aris. Author of Beyond Resilience, Sarajane gives us simple, practical tips turning our adversity into advantage.
Some of my favourite reminders include: Failure is the best practice ground for building mental toughness. Your attitude to dealing with setbacks makes you. We always have a choice in how we respond to life’s adversities. We can shape our brain through neural plasticity. Be compassionate to our tricky brains as it can take a bit of time to change things. What meaning do we give to our adversity. A protected life does you no favours! There is more than one path. Listen to your inner wisdom. Use your resilience muscle or lose it!
It’s 2 for one this week with TWO amazing stories of adversity turning into a passion business creating wellbeing for busy people! Ngozi spent a decade climbing the corporate ladder, feeling it was just part of ‘normal adulting’ to occasionally want to throw yourself off a bridge or run away from everything! She helped other people with wellbeing strategies but never thought for a second she might be depressed. Her work related stress and anxiety spilled into everything and it took a breakdown on a business trip to force her to turn her life around!
Obehi has a background in psychology and working in addiction services; from a traditional Nigerian family, everything was fine until she was 19 and a family car journey ended in her mother being fatally injured! The family coped by acting as if it was business as usual and Obehi travelled to the UK to study and work. Two further bereavements would occur when both her brother and father passed away and Obehi was left with the impact on all aspects of her mental health.
They began building a business that would represent their values and passions, which culminated in Aurora Wellness : Mental Wellbeing Services for Busy Lives
TedX Speaker and thought leader who started his career in the London stock exchange, learned over time that if we want to be superhuman (the ultimate best version of ourselves), we need to have the physical and mental energy to sustain us.
With his extensive knowledge of the practical habits we need to put in place to allow us to live our individual mission, Hari gives us a breakdown of the habits and routines that allow you to live your superhuman life! I love learning more about the connection between our physical and mental health, how we cannot work on one in isolation and expect our best results. Check out Hari's free links and resources here:
www.thethoughtgym.com - FREE video series
http://harikalymnios.com/
http://thethoughtgym.com/smoothie/ My Superhuman Smoothie
http://instagram.com/thethoughtgym/ - Instagram
http://youtube.com/thethoughtgym - Weekly videos on YouTube
http://thethoughtgym.com/superenergy/ -The Leadership BEAT Model online course
Matt Pappas experienced horrific physical and sexual abuse between the ages of 5 and 10 from teenage boy who threatened to kill the family dog if he ever told. Matt found ways to suppress this trauma until his 2nd divorce at the age of 40 prompted him to get therapy. It was during this process that he realised the long term impact of trauma showed up in crippling anxiety, the inability to form deep connections, self-esteem issues and using alcohol to escape feeling the pain.
He began his journey of recovery through therapy, virtual support groups, researching the impact of trauma on neuro-plasticity and now gives a message of hope to other trauma sufferers through his work coaching, providing telephone support groups and running his podcast beyondyourpast.com
He is a an anxiety and survivor coach, NLP practitioner and trauma specialist. His tips are practical and include learning to talk about the trauma, overcoming the shame, connecting with people who enhance your life. Through this challenging work, we can find deep connection, happiness and fulfilment that we never thought possible.
Simone Vincenzi turns is the co-founder of g-tex, a TedX speaker, a contributor to Huff post and Forbes, his passion is turning experts into authorities within their industries and tops this off with being a basketball player and musician.
At 14 he realised his father was an alcoholic, his father left to rehab and life at home drastically changed. The conflict of being a child and needing to step up and be a man led to working in 200 restaurants by the time he was 19, becoming the youngest Michelin star restaurant manager in Europe and eventually driving to build his own successful business. The flip side of this driven young man was someone struggling with food addiction so severe that it led to bulimia and a rock bottom that made him desperate to find help. He spent time in overeaters anonymous, had a coach who supported change and led him onto a path of personal development.
We discuss switching addictions and how the joy of being addicted to work can be lack of a social life or looking after our physical health. Simone is vulnerable, authentic and wise in this exciting conversation about what creates change from the worst circumstances. Find Simone at gtex.org.uk and listen to his podcast titled Explode Your Expert Biz
Author of The Expansion Game, speaker, transformational coach, Gosia Gorna talks authenticity, vulnerability, and how we choose our path before we're born.
Born in Poland to an alcoholic angry father, she experimented early on with meditation, visualising success and using affirmation to change the trajectory of her life. A failed relationship and essentially becoming homeless in the UK, she credits all of this adversity with setting her on the path of success that she now enjoys.
A real privilege to have this wisdom on the podcast an to hear about The Expansion Game that will allow you to shift perspective on adversity and growth. Find Gosia at www.gosiagorna.com
Wendy Sage is a resilience coach and facilitator on the topics of leadership, positive psychology and mindfulness. She's an epic example of turning life's adversity into purpose as she didn't always work to support people. Starting out as an interior decorator, her second child died in her arms after being delivered by emergency c-section after becoming distressed and being hooked up to a ventilator.
Wendy's talks through the pain of not being able to protect her child and how bereavement counselling helped her learn to be present while being connected to loss. She describes this experience as the first spark that she wanted to help people. After divorcing her first husband, she married her second and after just 8 years together he began an 18 month battle with cancer which would claim his life. She still cries at the thought of this loss but describes our resilience like elastic: 'stretched deeper in sadness, you have the capability of stretching in the opposite direction and feeling true joy'
Find Wendy at https://www.thesageplan.com
Spending 4 decades of life hiding his true nature, Matt Ellison, transitioned from female to male just 4 years ago and is on a mission to educate people on what its like to live in the wrong body.
We talk, learning to love yourself, the mental and physical journey, the loneliness of not being able to share your secrets and the fear of losing friends and work colleagues through finally becoming who you truly are. These lessons apply to all of us and will give you greater empathy and insight into this particular journey, one that is still fraught with stigma and isolation. Matt is an inspirational speaker and advocate for this cause, you can connect with him at www.mattellison.co.uk
Niven Postma knows good leadership across a variety of sectors and disciplines and loves nothing more than seeing the light come on in someone's eyes when they get something! Being in a transition state with career and possibilities, she describes how being in flux is both exhilarating and terrifying and that what is brave for one person may not be brave for someone else.
With thoughts on how we 'dare greatly', listen to our bodies and try to make decisions that break the patterns of our past habits; we talk toxic relationships, asking for help, burnout and linking ourselves so closely to business that a failure impacts our very core identity. With practical ideas for creating anchor habits and communicating with those who are there for us, Niven is an admirable woman who continues to stretch her skills and direction no matter what stage of life she's in. I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation and know it will offer you both comfort and a kick in the right direction!
Best selling author, keynote speaker, leadership coach, corporate trainer and dad, law enforcement officer we're in for a treat listening to Michael Laidler's views on resilience and leadership. Listen to this one if you're looking to be inspired and raise your game in leadership and success.
Raised in a single parent household, with an absent father, and joining law enforcement at 19, Michael learned his work ethic through struggle. We cover topics such as the difference between management and leadership, auditing how you spend your time and training your mind for adversity. Michael advocates for building your mind like working out at the gym - you build it up over time. Find out more about Michael's story, speaking, courses and coaching, at http://michaelalaidler.com
Beverly Jones is an author, speaker, business mentor and mental health coach who's experienced burnout, mental health issues and is using her experience to challenge stigma and create healthier workplaces.
An idyllic childhood besides experiencing school bullying, Beverley moved into a corporate career, working all hours for years until she experienced burnout which triggered her unprocessed bullying past. Unable to talk about what was going on, she left her job to recover her physical and mental health, was given antidepressants by her doctor and after self-harming and contemplating suicide she slowly utilised her experience as a catalyst for changing everything.
We discuss how our inner critic can be worse than any stigma as she told herself that none of her previous achievements mattered, she devised the 7 signs you're not coping including persistent sadness, physical health problems, paranoia, anger, tearfulness and how communication is the best medication. Find Beverley at www.awakencoaching.co.uk where you can find her amazing book Made it Thru the Rain
Richard is a personal trainer, coach and is passionate about family and paddle boarding, but it wasn't always this way. Growing up without a father and intensely bullied at school, he learned early on to be resourceful and use his anger to protect himself from injustice. Experiencing several relationships that culminated in emotional abuse towards him, Richard is brave and authentic in stating that the cycle of abuse carried on to his becoming the abuser within a relationship himself.
His rock bottom led to a 6 month sabbatical in Asia where he determined to re-write the rule book on his life. There's so much wisdom in this one including: the difference between loneliness and nurturing yourself by being alone, how training and being outside act as a healthy distraction from old patterns of behaviour, how helping others can be an unhelpful formula if not tempered with boundaries and how connecting with nature allows him to be the best father and husband he can be. An amazing privilege to have had him as my PT when working through an injury and a divorce, Richard's strength and calm allowed me to regain my fitness and confidence during a challenging time. Find Richard at Upcurve Personal Training
Abby Bushell knows adversity. 1 of 7 kids, she learned early on that the way to have a voice was through looking after everyone else. A string of domestic abuse relationships led to what Abby describes as becoming a functioning depressive, someone who held down a job and parented her daughter, but gained no joy or fulfilment in life. Being unable to ask for help she ended up in temporary accommodation for homeless people and had moments where she wanted to end her life.
Thinking she had appendicitis, she was taken to hospital to discover she had a tumour attacking her gall bladder, appendix and bowel and was given 6 months to live. Going into survival mode and eventually making a miraculous recovery, her real trauma hit her a year later when her mind caught up to how much she'd been through and she decided to live the life she wanted. Quitting her corporate job and retraining as a trauma specialist using EMDR therapy, hypnotherapy and coaching, she set up her own business www.hypnocoach4change.com where her aim is to empower people through change by guiding them to achieve their intended outcomes.
An incredible story of resilience through the adversity where she truly exemplifies the idea that you can turn your worst pain into your biggest advantage.
If you want to learn how to turn the most challenging childhood into an opportunity for growth and happiness then this interview if for you! Cahit Ali, growing up with a paranoid schizophrenic alcoholic father, internalised intense shame, guilt and fear, which stayed with him throughout his adult life. When his first boyfriend died suddenly in a car incident, he spiralled into intense physical symptoms of grief and shock that he was unable to do things for himself for months.
We go deep in discussing how we can nurture growth in our pain, how to build resilience to the stuff that limits you and how physically being outside supports growing a new perspective of possibility. Rather than avoid the darkness and the shame, Cahit explains how we must face up to it and look it square in the face in order to generate any kind of advantage from it. Get your Monday rocking with the 37th episode of Adversity to Advantage. Find Cahit at http://www.cahitali.com and @cahitali on insta and twitter.
Ann Betz is an expert on the neuroscience of human consciousness and coaching and we go deep into topics such as resilience, attachment, amygdala hijacks and how to communicate what we need. Growing up in an alternative household with her parents in an open marriage, her rock bottom came at 17 when she lost all her hair to alopecia and had to reframe her identity as an adolescent and young actress.
We talk about the impact of free love environments on children and how this plays out in adult relationships and our need to belong. We define both parenting and intimate relationships as the hot-bed for anything triggering and how we can learn to understand how to manage our brains primal responses and break the patterns of our past. An exciting conversation that is both practical and academic and taught me more about myself, my parenting style and what identity and belonging mean to me. Find Ann at beaboveleadership.com
Diagnosed with borderline personality disorder right before starting wandersnap.co , Jen knows first hand how important it is to look after yourself while creating dynamic change in the world. Authentic and direct about utilising DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) to give her the tools for handling stress and self-doubt in the roller coaster entrepreneurial journey. At 28, Jen leads by example in how millennial can make a difference in communities around the world.
Jen Loong 龙晓灵is the snap-happy founder for a new type of travel tech startup that marries photography with social impact. Jen’s vision is to start an empathy movement, where vanity can create social good with real income opportunities in developing communities is.
Living truly as a global citizen tracing her upbringing in HK, Vancouver and Shanghai, Jen has since travelled to 42+ countries photographing underprivileged communities, and speaking five languages in total. Her stories from the road can be seen in the Huffington Post, VICE, Globe and Mail, just to name a few. You can view more of her experiences in running the inaugural North Korea Pyongyang Marathon, farming in a Nepali women’s co-op, and dancing in the matriarchal Mosuo tribe in Yunnan, all on http://www.jenloong.com, or on Instagram @loongstoryshort. To marry her passions for deeper social impact and story-telling, Jen is launching her own venture www.wandersnap.co – a travel photographer for-hire platform as a means to offer job opportunities around developing worlds. Creativity should not be a first-world privilege. Jen’s venture has been accepted as one of 24 from around the world as part of UPenn Wharton’s Global Social Impact House cohort for 2016, through which the venture will come into full fruition.
Every once in awhile I get really excited about an interview and this is one of them! Nick's had loads of rock-bottom moments, including doing crystal meth in Cambodia and descending into the dark, lonely place of drug and alcohol addiction. His father suffered from MS for years before passing away right when Nick decided he had to try something to save his own life. While the first 3 steps of recovery helped him kickstart his journey, he gives insight into alternative ways to get what you need when changing your whole outlook on life which is refreshing and current. Not attending recovery groups anymore myself, it seemed this route was sacrilegious to those who swear by recovery rooms being the only way. What seems true for both of our stories is that community and accountability are key in changing any habit and Nick has created an entrepreneurs' community to do just that, enhance productivity by biohacking our bodies and our brains in order to live at our truest potential.
We get into sugar addiction, self-worth, meditation, nutrition and forming new habits and how no adversity needs to stand in the way of teaching ourselves a new way to be! Nick Elvery is a performance coach, runs a podcast and entrepreneur community so get involved today!
John Schless is the Chief exec for the Student Union at Greenwich University discussing his journey from a small town setting as head boy at school with girlfriends, to moving to university and coming out as gay. We discuss the adjustment his parents needed to make, how he internalised his struggle with gay shame and turned to food as escapism, how he understands his body and his mind now and the advice he would give to his younger self. While we muse on how cuts in the UK are impacting services that could support young people coming to terms with their sexuality, we also notice how the world is changing and there are more avenues than ever to get support from friends and communities online. John's advice if you're struggling now is: It Gets Better. No state stays the same, so hold on and notice what is in your power, including how you look after your body and mind.
Jacqui is a facilitator for Brene Brown's The Daring Way workshops and knows all about developing self compassion in order to be brave. I enjoyed this conversation so much as Jacqui models vulnerability and encourages me to do the same. We discuss what we're not taught growing up such as understanding emotion, dealing with fear, that its sometimes ok to be angry and how to create useful boundaries. A perfectionist by nature, Jacqui's rock bottom came when she realised she would never be a mother after 15 years of IVF, miscarriages and fertility appointments. She talks us through the journey of resenting pregnant mothers, feeling triggered and finally learning that resisting our own story is pointless. Being a reluctant parent myself we discuss how we never fully understand the journey someone else is on but if we can be brave and share we can create deep and lasting connections.
Connect with Jacqui Scjenitzer at braveologist.co.uk
Join me for a counter argument on why you don't need to hit rock bottom in order to make choices that improve your life! While Tomas Svitorka definitely experienced some adversity, he chooses to view this simply as life, without the possibility of holding him back. In fact, he wants life to be hard because he knows if he overcomes those challenges he'll make a bigger impact in the world through his work.
One day, while working a mediocre job, Tomas realised that he could live his life being ok and not questioning anything or he could realise that 'ok is not enough' and picture a different life, one that he built himself! We ask questions like 'when are we enough after we ingrain the habit of achievement' , 'how do we choose to look at our adversity' and 'how learning to enjoy the journey' impacts our happiness.
For those in my audience who were raised in a sect of some kind, be sure to listen 45 minutes into the conversation. Tomas gives great practical tips on the impact on our lives and how authenticity and truth take away the mountain of shame that holds us back.
Find Tomas at tomassvitorka.com
Valerie Teller is all about intuition. Listening to her body for the signs it gives her on which way to move her life forward. It's something I forget time and time again and this conversation reminds me of the information our gut instinct has for us, not only to keep us safe but to set us on the path for fulfilment.
'We're told that we should want certain things...' Valerie says, of her endless studying to be an international lawyer and barrister. Really, she just wanted to be an actress but was taught early on to suppress such silly ideas. She bravely talks about a childhood trauma that can still impact her today and how she now embraces vulnerability in order to connect and look after her wellbeing.
If you've ever felt you were not allowed to fail and if you did became deeply depressed and self-critical then this podcast is for you. Learn the art of self-compassion and how the things that could destroy us can actually propel us to grow into our true power! Find Valerie Teller at http://switchedoncoaching.com
Co-Director of Euro Youth Mental Health, Nicholas Morgan knows mental health and young people! "I didn't realise anything was wrong until it broke " he says, of the build up of stress and the pressures leading to a breakdown while driving on the motorway. With no education about how to notice the signs of burnout and stress in his own body, this surprising experience led him on a path to therapy, reaching out to his support network and talking to his boss about his mental health needs.
Nick talks early conditioning, educating your family on how to help and putting in routines and practices to support a successful life. Find Nick on Twitter and Facebook
Natalia is a top creative mind and runs an agency Natalka Design specialising in visual storytelling that works with TED/Microsoft/Gov etc. She also launched Doodleledo - fun social experience for anyone who says 'I can't draw!' ran in 20 countries and growing. Find Natalia at www.natalkadesign.com and @natalkadesign This conversation is all about the entrepreneurs journey, from closed minded thinking sticking to the day job, to jumping in with both feet into her own business. An industry that didn't exist as an option in her home country of Poland. 'The only person who will make it happen is you' says Natalia as she applies her work ethic and determination to everything she does. Running a successful business for 6 years, this one is for anyone who has a dream but is scared of making the jump.
I messed up! I forgot to press record! I decide to show up anyway & jump in with my off-the-cuff thoughts on the catalysts that force us to change. We catch the last 20 minutes of the amazing Sian Rowsell who won a small business coach of the year award and talks us through: How to think bigger. How to be brave in business. Ask yourself what's your strategic plan for designing your LIFE not just your work. Do what you love even if it's risky!
It's a short one but its a good one! Find Sian at www.sianrowsell.co.uk
SO excited about this interview! Professor Jamie Hacker Hughes talks bipolar disorder, suicidal ideation, 9 months in plaster after a bone operation at 2 years old, a career in the army, clinical psychology and as European minister for the 3rd order of Franciscans. He talks working in sales with every material possession and being deeply miserable, taking a 90% pay cut to find his path and the usefulness of being open about his mental health within the professional work he does.
An inspiration in all aspects of his life, this interview is filled with practical tips for looking after yourself and following the path that is your truth. He has 4 main priorities: Family, Psychology, Religious Order and Academic Professorship. His life is full, filled with giving and living his purpose but guarded with strict boundaries that allow him to sustain his level of success. I learned so much from this one! You will too!
From corporate life to actress and coach, Dea Fileva, knows first hand the pressures of conditioning on the path we take. Dea describes how our parents and society push us into a life that they want us to go in, not one that nurtures our dreams and 30 years in, every paper-cut of giving up on our dreams builds up until we numb the reality so that we don't have to face the hard road of changing things.
Her rock bottom came when she realised her life was defined by boredom. Completely successful on the outside, her parents and friends were shocked when she said she'd give it all up to study acting, to feel fully alive. When there's no extreme abuse or 'bad upbringing' it can be even more difficult to realise that it's up to you and only you, to find the fulfilment and happiness you crave but Dea explains how one step at a time can change everything.
This is the first time Mark Cook is telling his story on a public platform and what a privilege to hear his journey. With no father in his life, an alcoholic mother, losing his gran at 8 years old and figuring out his sexuality, he had a mental breakdown while on the M6 motorway which led him to resign from his job and begin his path to recovery. We discover how leading an inauthentic and double life due to shame has a negative impact on mental health and will eventually leak out. Mark's message is simple: Don't bottle it up because the bottle will eventually explode. Mark is a perfect example of using his adversity as a stepping stone to helping people through his platform BeOpen. Connect with Mark on LinkedIn or connect with him on his Be Open website.
With 3 rock bottoms, including leaving home at 16, corporate burnout and leaving the perfect relationship, Robin and I go deep into what it takes to be fully alive. We talk about our fight or flight survival instincts impacting intimacy in relationships, how physical symptoms of burnout and stress are often pointing to not living a passionate life and how it's not about being happy or sad, it's about being fully ALIVE!
I love this so much because it connects with the choices I've made, how amazing it is to fully feel, even if that means we connect to pain or sadness, at least we're truly connecting as we are! Robin's story is incredible, filled with adventure and a quest for personal development which will connect with anyone who wants to push for the life they want but isn't quite sure how.
Connect with Robin on LinkedIn or leave a comment on petravelzeboer.com/podcast/
So Sam Allen lost her dad in December 2015 and this podcast is packed with practical ways to process grief and manage depression symptoms through creativity and connection. She experienced a happy childhood with her parents messy divorce prompting her first taste of adversity and subsequent depression.
Her depression episodes are described as frightening, numb, detached and very physical and losing her father, her hero, was soul destroying. Her love of words and poetry crafted her journey to healing and her practical ideas for remembering those we've lost will be relatable to anyone who's ever lost someone they love.
Find her poetry blog at https://peacockpoetryblog.wordpress.com and on LinkedIn if you want to connect with her coaching that uses creativity for grief and dealing with strong emotions.
So excited to interview Adele Duncan, an amazing woman who mentored me a few years back when life was particularly challenging. She's the CEO of a gambling addiction organisation and has the most amazing work ethic I've ever seen.
After having a son, they discovered their newborn daughter Paige had a genetic disorder that would sadly mean she would pass away at 2 1/2 when her brother was just 5. Join me as I interview Adele on the resilience that was built through an unimaginable time of doctor's appointments and trying to make the best life for her son. She was determined to let this tragedy teach her to live life to the full but just six months after her daughters death, her body and mind crashed to a place of depression and she was advised to take time off work to look after herself. With a work ethic so instilled in her from childhood, asking for help felt like admitting defeat but through this experience she learned she had to recognise when to slow down in order to fully live.
Adele's message is simple: You only have one life, live it to the full. Be fully yourself, notice how to care for you, take every opportunity that comes and love like there's no tomorrow!
At only 21, Mike C is the youngest person we've ever had on the podcast, but his wisdom is that of a much older man. After some comfortable younger years living in Germany while his step-father was in the army, it was a shock to his 11 year old system to move to inner city London with 3 siblings, parents and grandparents in a 2 bed flat. HIs behaviour at school declined and at 14 he was permanently excluded from mainstream education and sent to a behavioural unit or PRU. At 15 he was kicked out of his house and sofa-surfed with friends, giving him the biggest lesson in independence and at 18, his life was to change forever, as his step-father was sent to prison for 30 years for attempted murder. At 18 Mike was now the man of the house and had to step up to support his mother and his siblings. At 18 he figured out he needed to learn how to change perspective on his role in life or everything would fall apart.
This is a good one! It brings me right back to the early days of my career working with kids excluded from school. Get some insight on how to make your dreams reality no matter what pain is surrounding you. Connect with Mike on Instagram mike_cooper17 and check out his Youtube channel
What a privilege to interview the passionate Nelson Rodrigues, the founder of Father's Nation, who was determined to break the cycle of uninvolved fathers and teach other men to be the role model they never had growing up.
Nelson believes that masculinity needs to adapt to suit new times and men who don't evolve can end up suicidal if they don't let their voice be heard and learn a new way of being. Growing up in a traditional household with lots of siblings and a father away working, he moved to the UK at 16, leaving both is twin sister and his mother at home. Nelson himself was suicidal in his early 20s as he struggled to find his way and the only thing that helped was talking to one of his sisters one drunk night and realising that was the first step to moving his life forward. His message is for men to reach out and ask for help.
I first heard Brita speak a few years ago and was blown away by her passion and courage in speaking her truth. She was the quintessential example of fully being yourself on the frontline of humanity captured fully in her TEDx talk
I had the great privilege of being in the same room as Brita as we talked through the story that got her where she is today as Director of Women for Women International an amazing organisation that supports women in countries affected by conflict, make meaningful change in their own lives, their children's and communities. Brita is down to earth and practical and sparks off my own story and a discussion about how to fit in habits and routines that allow us to live successful, purposeful lives as working mothers.
Us women play small all the time, we don't want to be seen as hysterical, angry, ugly or over the top, so we hide our true ambitions and our fiery truth for the sake of peace and being a 'good person' but this isn't sustainable because our truth goes somewhere and comes out anyway, in displacement, regret, depression, explosive rage, you know how it goes. How much better to fully stand out in the full glory of our purpose and create real impact in the world!
I'm so excited to put this conversation out into the world! Connect with Brita at @BritaFS and if you're looking for a great cause check out Women for Women International www.womenforwomen.org.uk
'I learned early on that if I didn't push hard in any direction then I would never be disappointed...so I floated through life and just fell into things'
Join me for my conversation with Chris Day as we explore the down side to staying safe. As soon as he attached importance to a task or career, he developed crippling anxiety and describes falling into jobs and relationships as a way of avoiding making any conscious decisions about the direction in his life, after all, if you weren't attached you couldn't be disappointed if you failed. The fear of doing it wrong led to hyper-vigilance and intense physical psychosomatic symptoms which allowed him a 'logical' reason to not take risks.
'By the time I took my GCSEs I was so addicted to drugs that there was no chance I would get any grades'
Ten years of drug use including stints in prison, homelessness and stuck in a cycle of the criminal justice system, Gary attended his first rehab in prison at 21. On probation at 27 he met a man who acted as a mentor and had been 6 years clean and sober. Wishing his whole life that he would have received mentoring instead of punitive punishment, Gary finally got the mentoring and guidance he'd been searching for through a recovering addict who volunteered to work with him.
'The key to everything in life is your will and your imagination'
What an adventure this episode is! A story that spans a childhood in LA with the crips, the bloods, getting robbed daily and struggling to fit in to survive. Moving to Israel alone at 17 and then backpacking through Guatemala, facing bandits head on, his biggest challenge was his business descending into $70,000 in debt with no obvious way out!
'Who am I without the stories from my mum and dad, the stories I tell myself about who I am' Phil Askew muses. Phil learned early on to take on the role of peacemaker in his house which carried on into his adult life as a rescuer in relationship with no space for any other emotions.
His advice is, do the work to become your own parent so that when you're in relationship you can be side by side taking on the world as a team rather than playing a codependent rescuer and victim. An inspirational message that (of course!) takes me where I need to go, noticing which emotions are ok (together, confident, cool) and which emotions are not (tears, anger, overwhelm). What if that's just the story we're conditioned to believe and really we can teach ourselves to play out our full range of emotions, the whole spectrum of what it means to be alive!
Find Phil Askew at http://www.luminouslives.com and find out how you can live your mission!
'If you have a dream it is your responsibility to protect your dream and fight for it no matter what anyone else says' Have you ever thought of leaving that job, starting that business, investing in yourself but thought your circumstances made it impossible? If so, this is the podcast to get you started for 2018!
You will be defined in your moments of fear. Your journey may not be confident strides into success, it may be the decisions you make while weeping alone on your bathroom floor. That's where dreams are made.
Alex started her journey in Poland with an unambitious family and a Tony Robbins book in her bedroom. She bought a one-way ticket to London with £70 in her pocket and barely any English because she wanted a different future. When you feel like there is no way you can better your circumstances, there is always a way that you can.
www.alexrudnicka.com
I love a New Year, I love the re-set button, I love looking back at what I've achieved and creating a map of the New Year. It's not cheesy if you actually make it happen!
Happy New Year!
'It was a profound mistake to send me away to boarding school. I was 8 years old and I was homesick continuously until I was 15'
Simon Seligman is a life coach with 25 years experience in the Arts & Communication industry. While this story couldn't be farther away from my own, the skills for getting through life's difficulties resonate with me profoundly! I don't know how it is that each interview seems to give me exactly what I need to get me through to the next level!
Samantha Clarke is a happiness consultant, lecturer at The School of Life and runs an online Growth and Happiness school, to name just a few of her many achievements.
She's also suffered from sickle cell anaemia since she was 5 years old. Her frequent stints in hospital led to an isolated childhood and her ambition and desire to do things on her own means she struggles asking for help when bouts of pain impact her ability to do the things she wants to do today. Our stories may be different but the challenges are universal: How do we ask for help, when do we show our vulnerable side on dates, when do we notice the signs for self-care, is it ok to just stop if you're an entrepreneur where the business is solely your responsibility? 'The hill seems insurmountable but it never is. There's always the resource within you' Samantha says and fills me with hope.
Samantha set off to Brazil to prove that she could live a digital nomads life and ended up in hospital wondering if she was going to die. This frank, honest portrayal of an entrepreneurs life while suffering from sickle cell anaemia is an inspiration to anyone who deals with adversity every day!
Find Samantha's work at: www.samanthaand.co; @samanthaand_ www.instagram.com/growhappyschool/
Mark Villareal is an Author, Speaker, Leadership & Strategic Planning Consultant with international best selling books 'Leadership Lessons from Mom' and 'Shortcuts get you lost'.
What a privilege to listen to wisdom on business growth, leading with authenticity and heart and transferring lessons for life to both parenting and team building. We cover the benefit of confrontation, how building character is the most important thing we can teach our kids and asking yourself the question: Did you do something that mattered today?
New Years is still a day Tania Brown hates due to the drinking starting early and an argument guaranteed to take place.
A childhood of eating disorders and not fitting in, Danielle then found love and ran a business which threatened her with bankruptcy after just 10 months. Having been head of HR at 26 she was now reduced to playing endless video games locked in the isolation of her shame. Join me as we uncover the tools she's cultivated to develop a mindset that saw her through depression, debt and into a life of fulfilment and purpose. Filled with practical insight on those very first steps to recovery (go outside!) right into recognising toxic situations before they become overpowering (leave that job if you know its not right!) to the learning that comes from literally having nothing, Danielle will show you that if you keep moving forward you can build up the life you want.
Diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, he spent his whole life trying to fit into other people's rules of who he should be, being told he wasn't good enough, was stupid and would never amount to anything. Behind the extrovert, passionate exterior, lay a man drinking to numb the pain of depression and low self worth. Daniel finally decided to say fuck-it and just be who he was because the only other choice was ending his life as the torture of hiding away was just too much. Being himself has created a trajectory of success and fulfilment that he never thought possible and he's now created his own brand of public speaking based on breaking all the rules and being your true self. A fascinating example of turning your Adversity into your biggest Advantage! www.1stnature.co.uk
Life had been comfortable with little adversity showing up until Amanda Devine's father died. Using work as a weapon for coping she pushed herself through the pain until burnout forced her to stop. Not being able to articulate what help she needed and worried that friends would think she was mad, she couldn't admit how she felt as she was terrified that her whole 'superwoman' identity would disappear and she'd be left with nothing.
Travelling to find herself, she returned to London only to find a lump in her breast. The 3rd person in a family of 4 to experience cancer, Amanda scheduled this interview in between chemotherapy treatments, determined to talk about her learning, despite currently being in the thick of adversity.
A privilege and an honour to listen to her real and authentic life lessons that I know will enrich anyone's life who listens. See more about Amanda Devine at www.amandadevine.com
With a dysfunctional family and a need to run to the army at 15, Chris Richards got what he wished for, an intense discipline and structure which ended up making him question everything. With poor leadership, his confidence hit an all time low and when he went to the army doctor to talk about his depression he was told to be quiet about it as it would either be his depression or his career, he couldn't have both.
In a bid to fix himself and the women who had suffered around him when he was young, he poured his curiosity into hypnotherapy and psychology eventually becoming a hypnotherapist and setting up a women's network called 'Truly Empowered'. He now facilitates coaching and online courses for women and enables them to live their true confidence.
Filled with tips and tricks for how to change your circumstances and give yourself the confidence you need to follow your dreams, Chris' story is engaging and thoughtful. You can find more about him at myhypnocoach.co.uk
Self-esteem comes from Esteemable Acts. If you want to feel good about yourself you need to do good things, starting with how you treat yourself, your body and your mind. Harriet Waley-Cohen is a Health and Wellbeing coach and speaks on topics such as: Confidence & Self-esteem, total emotional and physical wellbeing and How to feel truly fabulous about yourself. In this episode Harriet gives the audience a peak into the journey that got her from rock bottom of addiction and abusive relationships, to one that empowers women to truly enjoy being themselves! Her tip: Show up every single day and practice being the best version of yourself one day at a time. An inspiration and privilege to have Harriet share her wisdom on episode 4 of the Adversity to Advantage podcast.
Join me as I interview Oskar Marchock and learn the keys to thriving through 20 years of addiction, body dysphoria, racism and despair. Down to earth and practical, Oskar will show you what it is to be human and rediscover the join in every day.
Nicola Arnold is a life coach who helps people overcome self doubt through using a gratitude practice to overcome the debilitating habit of comparing and finding it difficult to ever be happy in her own skin. From our date of birth, our first steps, the education we have, the weight we are, the house and car we buy, we're conditioned to compare every aspect of our lives to others. This led to a building a version of her life that was disconnected to who she really was and provoked deep unhappiness. She now runs a community of people that are learning a different way to be. Through gratitude and community she has shaped a completely different way of life for herself, one that embraces all aspects of who she is and allows her to truly live.
Kallen Diggs is a career strategist and author of Reaching the Finish LIne. Since the Great Recession he has helped over 2000 peopel to reach the finish line in their careers, despite their education. When Kallen is not working on his next book he writes for the Huffington Post and hosts his syndicated radio show, Reaching The Finish LIne. Everyone interviewed on this podcast has a story and Kallen's does not disappoint. Homeless at a young age, losing his beloved grandfather dealing with an incurable illness and learning his house burned down in a fire, Kallen's experience has taught him how to adapt, build resilience and thrive in ever-changing circumstances. Join me as we tease out the tips and tricks he uses to live in the moment and achieve optimum success.