Resting Pitchface: Recent Episodes
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A baseball podcast with a Nationals bias. We believe in the designated hugger, not the designated hitter.
This episode is Part 1 of something. Of what? We don’t know! We’re stuck at home without baseball, so Resting Pitchface will be bringing you Food Science and Books: Because You’re Stuck In Your House Too. Also featuring any other household tips we can think of, like what to do with old shirseys. Sometimes baseball players get it right; be like Zack Greinke and wash your hands!
RPFP Interlude: Part One of Something
Welcome to Resting Pitchface 2020! In this episode we have ongoing thoughts about the ongoing Astros sign stealing scandal, including clear vinyl clothing, noise making opportunities, and MK-Ultra. We also talk about we can control in this era of MLB void crabs.
Now taking new favorite player applications.
Episode 57: World Series Branded Bucket
The Nationals won the World Series. We're here to deal with the fallout, positive, and, unfortunately, negative. Sports sometimes make it hard to be a fan, but we've got our community when it's good and when it gets tough. We've also got our corkboards and strings to catch some Astros. Resting Pitchface brings out the math and Aníbal Sánchez gets a pocket calculator. Or a slide rule? We're going to miss you Gerardo Parra /shark emoji
Episode 56: A Poor Place To Be That Undressed
Since we've had a new parody song before every postseason series, obviously we couldn't stop now... and what better Nats World Series anthem than the most iconic song from Damn Yankees, with a bit of a Nats-themed twist? Enjoy, and don't forget, TFU TFU TFU!
You heard a teaser in our post-Wild Card Not A Real Episode... now you can listen to the full track of the latest song in the Resting Pitchface Parody Catalogue! With love and apologies to Anthony Rendon.
When we recorded this, the Nationals had a magic number of 4, now it’s 0! We did proactively thank the Cardinals. We also discussed the Nats’ identity crisis, the strange case of the September not-call-ups, and the various existential hats we’re all wearing. All with the Resting Pitchface flair of Rocky Horror tangents and baseball karaoke.
Episode 55: A Highly Relatable Hat
The women's national baseball team won gold in the Pan Am Games! Guess some coverage would have been nice. Shrug. Emoji. On the homefront, Max is back, hopefully no longer trying to herd the rest of the dugout. Shockingly, we think Rendon deserves a contract extension. No one deserves those player weekend jerseys. Not even Southern Thunder.
Episode 54: Fiddler on the Roof Rabbi-Copter
We’re back after a life hiatus. Luckily women’s baseball didn’t take a hiatus, with a new European tournament and the fifth year of Baseball For All (go DC Force). If you missed Women in Baseball Week, Baseball Prospectus has a tag for that. Oh yeah, the Nats made some trade moves and our bench is the danciest, colored-glasses wearing-est, happiest place to be.
Resting Pitchface still wants more pet trade data. We’ve identified a gap in the market.
Episode 53: Lefty Relievers Below Replacement
There’s nothing wrong with Ohio; a couple Nats are going! Hope Tony eats a cannoli and no one gets hurt, there’s still a (1/2) season to play. And right now, there’s baseball in London and in New York a Toni Stone production, and in DC Adam Eaton is super bad at hot takes~
A Resting Pitchface hipster episode, bring your butterfly nets.
Episode 52: Where’s The Amphibious Pitcher
The optimal product of baseball should be fun baseball and the Nationals are making that a bit easier of late. (Vote Rendon.) We here at Tangents R Us are certainly having a better time, as are a number of Nats pitchers. (Vote Rendon.) This time we have some on-field reporters from Night Out, thoughts on language acquisition, big dogs, All Star Game fashion (have we mentioned Vote Rendon?), and more tangents. Vote Rendon!
Episode 51: Shawn Kelley Glove Fund
Resting Pitchface returns from the Eastern Women’s Baseball Conference Diamond Classic with some wisdom the Nationals could use: Lean in with your boobs. Not your head, Victor Robles. If the season is going to be what it keeps on being, the Nats should at least make sure the kids (Soto, Robles, et al) are alright. And with the season being what it is, we’ll keep on doing what we do, which in this instance is casting the team as Avengers, because why not.
Episode 50: Please Unsnap Dusty
Resting Pitchface is a niche bookstore this week! The Nats have us in a weird place emotionally. They might be the squibs of MLB but there are at least a few smart cats giving us something to be happy about. The rest is a repetitive series of bad decisions, institutional exploitation, and, possibly, a finishing school. Bees?!?
Episode 49: Rick Ankiel’s Finishing School
If we had our way, we’d be talking about “wiggling entertainingly everywhere” for the whole episode. Being Nats fans, however, we can’t not discuss the bullpen. From Yipsitis to stolen eyewear, Resting Pitchface runs the gamut on the theme. Feat. Heel turns, power tools, and RPFP greatest hits.
Episode 48: Seal Tank Romeo & Juliet
Look, Bryce is gone. We have some feelings and opinions about that. It’s Resting Pitchface, we have feelings and opinions about everything. For example, how many Matts are on the Nats (spoilers: a lot), whether any of these new rule changes are going to fix anything (spoilers: they aren’t) , and should we resign DSpan (spoilers: we should).
We spend as much time talking about Bryce Harper as we do taking about goats. We’ll leave it to you to determine what’s the best use of our time (spoilers: it’s goats).
Episode 47: Shirtless & Slightly Douchey
Spring training is upon us and Resting Pitchface is back to talk about all the free agents yet to find their forever homes. Free agents are basically stray cats, right? We also say our goodbyes to Frank Robinson, discuss potential tight races in the NL, and make some space for more Grammar Time with Resting Pitchface. We didn’t mean to call Opportunity Curiosity, we swear we know better.
Episode 46 - And We’re Back To That
Resting Pitchface is back even though baseball still isn’t. We discuss the offseason moves the Nats (and a few select others) have made and what that could mean for 2019. As always with us, there’s more: telepathy as a performance enhancing drug, what can be done to protect Wilson Ramos’ hamstrings, and who's who of the /checks notes, Reds?, just to name a few. Don't worry, the elephant in the Nats' outfield gets some coverage too.
Episode 45 - All Glory to the Shoulder Toad
We've gone from baseball chaos to baseball anti-chaos here in the post season, but that doesn't mean we don't have some highlights to discuss. Relief pitcher home runs, catcher support groups, the un-pitcher-butt, and more all have their episode in the sun. We're also joined by Adrian Burgos of La Vida Baseball for a special interview in honor of Hispanic Heritage Month!
Episode 43: Flat Stanleys
What does Resting Pitchface want in the postseason (now that the Nats are out)? Chaos. Chaos, and Ichiro in a series of disguises. Do we have enough mustaches for this? Also, did you know that Mike Trout is a chaos/weather god? You heard it here first.
The Nats’ season may be over but that doesn’t mean we don’t have stuff to talk about. MLB. Karaoke. GO!
Episode 42: Oatmeal Storm
We here at Resting Pitchface likes to cover many topics: unionization, eating the rich, pharmaceutical development, and measuring things in percentages of a Joe Blanton. We're also making peace with where the Nationals are and looking forward to where they'll be. Jayson Werth night was a thing, the intentional relief pitcher out should be a thing, and (checks) we all still love Oliver Perez. How about that Juan Soto?
Episode 42: Phenomaly
Please Nationals, stop making us have to update our theme song. This episode Resting Pitchface discusses not just the loss of Gio Gonzalez but many players we've loved and lost over the years. Joined by familial special guest Hannah, we walk back all the way to Lastings Milledge and try to find some perspective. Also, all the games of the Women's Baseball World Cup are still on YouTube if you missed them, so if you want to know who were talking about when we talk about Jade Gortarez or Ayami Sato, you should check those out. It's September folks, here comes the clown car bullpen....cart.
Episode 41 - Spiritual Grain Beetles
Hey literally everyone: watch the Women’s Baseball World Cup!
PSA over. Walk off balk is hard to say, don’t hit rookies with baseballs, and don’t sell your bullpen because you’re mad. That said, bullpen carts are great, though we all have differing options as to why. And more thing should be solved with lasers.
Episode 40 - Dumpster IKEA
The Trea Turner episode.**
(There is discussion of Roberto Osuna & MLB's domestic violence policy. Please contact thehotline.org (DV), rainn.org (SA), or suicidepreventionlifeline.org if you need help or just someone to listen)
** This episode was recorded before Trea Turner's apology press conference: https://bit.ly/2vqAJVx
We're not happy about teams dumping on their own players, but we are happy about the All Star Game. We're not happy about the lack of disease control protocols, but we are happy about the Mariners' sleeveless uniforms. We aren't happy about the Nats, but we are happy about the Nats. Ah, sports.
Episode 38 - A Truth Universally Acknowledged
National baseball media is doing a horrific job of talking about domestic violence/child sexual assault and we have to address it. Do freaking better. Umps are also not learning anything about their racist behavior and we have to address it. Do freaking better. Meanwhile the Negro League Baseball Museum continues to be literally awesome despite vandalism, the Mets have a horse in their kitchen and his name is Jerry Blevins, and the Nationals' house is not actually burning down. Just, let Michael A Taylor stay in center. You know, we talk about too many guys named Mikey this episode, but we don't regret a thing.
E37 - A Buffalo in Your Kitchen
**Discussion of DV/CSA starts ~1:30, ends ~21:00. Please contact thehotline.org (DV), rainn.org (SA), or suicidepreventionlifeline.org if you need help or just someone to listen.
The Stanley Cup followed Adam Eaton to DC and then to Nats Park; whether or not this breaks the sports curse, we hope the Nationals remember to sanitize. It's also the 75th anniversary of the AAGPBL and as important as that is, it's equally important to talk about its history without sweeping the racist and homophobic aspects under the rug of time. Also, 2/3 of us were at Nats Park to celebrate Night Out and watch Max throw an immaculate inning, we try to solve the Bryce/Eaton/Michael A/Soto outfield tetrahedron, and if the weather in DC stays like it is we'll be seeing Shirts & Skins games before long. Resting Pitchface is breaking out its shrine for Strasburg's shoulder.
Episode 36 - Don't Get The Clap From The Cup
Thanks to newest MASN personality Michael Morse for our deeply on brand title (and general baseball philosophy). We've got a fair amount of pitchers being weird cats, or people being weird to pitching cats, this ep. What is it about Florida that makes for so many poor choices? Also, racial scapegoating isn't really the best way to deal with PEDs, MLB. In Nats news: Juan Soto (new) Blessed Baseball Infant, Hellickson's blister is probably fine, and we're over .500 and apparently trying to start a boy band. That sure is something.
Episode 35: Pitchers Are Weird Cats
Is Matt Harvey currently a LOLMETS or a LOLCINCY? Is Anthony Rendon doing a The Bachelor-esque rose ceremony or is it behavior modification? What on Earth is going on with you Bryce Harper? We look for answers here at Resting Pitchface. Even with a brief sojourn in Geography class.
Episode 34 - Fun Things Are Fun (When We're Winning)
On this episode we do discuss Roberto Osuna and his domestic violence arrest. Time codes ~1:30 to ~18:00
Everyone chill, it's still only April. Meantime, who wears it best: Pedro "The Thriller" Severino vs Wil "The Thrill" Difo. Major League Baseball & fans continue to be extremely racist (Lindor has nothing to apologize for). Umpiring, heavy sigh. Baseball is in the Upside Down. Resting Pitchface takes a long walk down a really fork-y road.
Episode 33: Some (Nats) Like It Hot
It's been a heck of an Opening Weekend and that's without even getting into the Nat's 21-runs-over-three-games sweep of the Reds. We tackle the highlights (overturned walkoffs & the 17 stages of baseball grief, the audacity of bunting, the gall of Brian Goodwin's grand slam), Resting Pitchface style. And there's still time for a hard right turn into the evils of capitalism. This is the start of a beautiful season.
Episode 32 - Phenomenal Cosmic Weirdness, Itty Bitty Opening Weekend
We have something of an Aging Players Yearbook this "week". What's going on with Ichiro, Tim Lincecum, and podcast favorite Tyler Clippard? Also, Noah Syndergaard's shirtless interview has us speculating about more than just bullpen carts. The pornstar jar is on topic for once (though it does get interrupted by a camel). Introducing the Scherzbow, a Resting Pitchface original.
E31 - Things of the Face
As the song (sort of) goes Baseball's Back, Alright! Resting Pitchface is joined this week by Ursula of Flipping Bats & Winning Games to discuss the state of the NL East (don't hold her Mets fan-dom against her). Of course, the NL is mainly a bad idea factory, but that's not so out of keeping with the official bad idea factory that is MLB (extra humidors? limited mound visits???). We discuss those bad ideas and some good ideas of our own, like adopting some aspects of Finnish baseball or giving Leslie Jones and Sonia Sotomayor their own baseball show. We're so excited that it's baseball time again!
E30 - Bad Idea Factory
Did you know that Christian Yelich autocorrects to helicopter? #yelicopter Also, Ichiro is a wasp now. No, this didn't become a Marlins podcast overnight, but the Nats only made like 1 1/2 moves since our last episode. This is Howie do it and Anthony Rendon might be making the money he's earned. That said, Marlins going to Marlin, and Orioles going to LOLOrioles.
It's been a cold stove offseason. Resting Pitchface has thoughts.
Episode 29: Hashtag Cold Stove
The Nats haven't made a lot of moves so far this offseason, but some other teams have made some doozies, making some people happy and others not so much (#savechristianyelich). The Nats have changed their uniforms, something we noted when two thirds of us went to Winterfest. We talk about that, the return (?) of Tim Lincecum, how dWAR for first basemen is the shrug emoji of stats, oh, and baby names we hate. It's the last Resting Pitchface of the year!
Episode 28 - Compassionate Release
Resting Pitchface is back and on brand. This time around? Sociolinguistic discussions, can MLB change its traditionalist spots for a player like Ohtani Shohei, and is the final form of all baseball players Adam Dunn. There's player pants, sleeveless jerseys, and junk balaclava here. PSA: don't vomit in dorm rooms.
Episode 27: #thirststove
Today we're all wearing our Dusty Baker Defense Squad hats and our swear jar is hungry. We've got listener participation in this episode of Resting Pitchface, which seemed appropriate as we discuss what the majority of the fanbase is thinking. Also featuring some post Game 5 analysis (sigh) and an unexpected plea to Jeff Bezos.
Episode 26 - In Dusty We Trusty
Superstitions, shrines, stolen bases, and screaming. Resting Pitchface went to games 1 & 2 of the NLDS and we have a feelings hangover. Let's all decompress together. Rally TFU TFU TFU!
Episode 25 - A Very Hoarse Episode
Resting Pitchface has nothing appropriate to say (do we ever?) so we're going inappropriate. Luckily rookie dress up day is a thing, and a thankfully creative thing this time around. Thing have been awakened within all of us. There's also tautological arguments, discussion over what is the opposite of warbley jesus music (it's dick jokes), and hotties at the hot corner. We all support Bruce Maxwell and MLB damn well better do the same. Dusty Baker wants us to listen to the youth.
Episode 24 - Brought To You By The Letter F Bomb
Howie Kendrick and Wilmer Difo are not the same size! And all the clap emoji in the world aren't going to change that! We here at Resting Pitchface are dedicated to bringing you the real facts about player height. Also, cat genetics, Ollie & Albie love, and player DL frustrations (Bryce would totally be riding bikes right now, if he could). Trea Turner's back and stole some bases and also one of our bits! Surgery talk and cephalopods are also back. Classic.
Episode 23 - 60:40 Animals To Baseball
In this episode we do discuss MLB's domestic violence policy and it's applications, re: Derek Norris. This segment starts approximately 30 minutes in and ends at about 41 minutes.
We finally have a topical reason to talk baseball nicknames! Dubiously topical? Cat jerseys may not be customizable, our outfield is a cornucopia of ups despite our current MASH unit status, and Scotchguarding bases is an... interesting concept. Resting Pitchface is joined this episode with some very special guests, the girls of DC Force Baseball (!!!), so definitely check out what they have to say!
Episode 22: Player To Be Nicknamed Later
Just how many players are Dorian Gray-ing their way through MLB? Who are all these new Nationals? Did Bryce Harper make a pact with a sea witch? "Answers" to these questions in the latest episode of Resting Pitchface, as well as what's up with the Cardinal's Christian Night, is there a right way to stats, and will Max Scherzer ever stop talking about his home run? And this time around, we're crying about our starting pitchers, not the bullpen!
Episode 21 - Sort By Huggability
It's Resting Pitchface's favorite time of year, the All Star Break! Which still doesn't have pool noodle jousting, but should, especially with this many Nats going (snubs aside). We discuss that, furthering the cause of international baseball, menacing oceans, and our new guys, who we're pretty sure aren't aliens. And our DL might look rough right now, but the Mets need either a necromancer or probably a doctor, and at the very least an exorcism.
Episode 20 - Salty Potatoes
Anthony Rendon has a BFF! And they both have the shirts to prove it! Also, the Nats have a Trea Turner cloning factory or at least are starting an impressive collection. Joe Ross keeps trying to do it all, Resting Pitchface has a family, Darren Baker may be a basket full of kittens, and Bianca the dog has a Saga in this episode, featuring special guest host Jenn Rubenstein! We did try not to discuss the bullpen but they keep coming up. At the moment our bullpen is the worst penny.
Episode 19 - Trea Turner Clone Factory
In this episode we discuss Child Sexual Assault. If you would like to skip this section, it comes up with warning around minute 42 and ends around minute 50.
Intergalactic baseball is sadly still not a thing, sigh. But we here at Resting Pitchface can still find ways to bring space into Earth-based baseball, especially when the NL East is a collection of black holes stacked on top of each other; Organic Farmer Jayson Werth may revive farming at the first Jedi temple; and Max Scherzer, Stephen Strasburg, and Koda Glover are lighting it up with some out of this world Ks. Oh, and the concept of the Closer should definitely be shot into space!
It's been a year of us talking about relievers, things you shouldn't google, and, apparently, space. Listen in and help us celebrate our show-ni-versary!
Episode 18 - Relievers Are People Too
There's so much positive to talk about! De Nile is just a river near the Potomac! The Ryanaissance is real (and we all can spell it), Jayson Werth is himself but stronger, and Max Scherzer continues to exemplify our starting pitching. Couple that with some strong feelings about playing through injury and some Things Observed at Fenway and you've got yourselves the making of a #classic Resting Pitchface episode.
Let's just not look at that bullpen behind the curtain.....
Episode 17 - Run A Bunch of Stairs
Sometimes the baseball players we love make bad decisions, which can run the gamut from poor choices in bleaching to falling off their dirtbikes cough MadBum cough. Obviously, we talk about all the ways those bad decisions can manifest, with side paths into new baby Strasburgs, the return of the Zach Duke update (this time in PSA form), and, inexplicably, Veggie Tales? Also, the Mets are pretty broken, Gio is killing it (best Nats ERA, and probably most consistent!), Bryce Harper is not Fievel, and Dan Kolko might get subsumed into Jayson Werth's beard. All alternate titles for this episode involved nipples; be thankful that there is resistance to the podcasttatorship.
Episode 16 - A Roster Move To The Knee
The (roughly) first week of baseball is behind us! There's lots of positives, some glaring negatives, and plenty to fuel a full season's worth of discussion. Of course, we here at Resting Pitchface focus on our favorite topics, such as comfort goats, falling down properly, The Bullpen Situation, and the most recent addition, how does this affect my fantasy team. With all that, women's baseball showcase, speedy centerfielders, and more, we're off to a terrific seasonal start!
Episode 15 - Week One: Falling Practice
Recorded immediately prior to Team USA versus Team Also USA (Puerto Rico), it's the World Baseball Classic! From which countries have teams and why to how all the aesthetics of the tournament could improve with a Bedazzler, we've got it all with our particular Resting Pitchface flair. Look out countries of the world, we're coming for you to steal your baseball players.
Episode 14 - World Baseball Classic - Who Can We Steal?
The sun is shining, the birds are singing, its 75 degrees in february and BASEBALL IS BACK.
It's a Resting Pitchface spring training 'preview': pace of play saltiness, inescapable politics, Bryce and others make Boom Boom, and of course too much talk about terrible infectious diseases of the face. Y'all, 2017 is just getting started. LET'S GO NATS!!!
Episode 13: Baseball's Back, Alright
The Collective Bargaining Agreement is complicated like a German board game. Or, at least, it can be. Resting Pitchface is here to talk about some of the major and minor details within the CBA, including chewing tobacco usage, hazing, and our perennial favorite, the All Star Game. Just, not the draft stuff, please.
Episode 12 - German Board Game Rules
Resting Pitchface is back from accidental hiatus with some offseason thoughts! Bryce finally gets his (wedding) ring! Adam Eaton is very small and presumably not a lake monster! Birthday girl Laura gets kicked down a slide by Chris Heisey at Winterfest! You'll have to excuse the rest, the offseason makes us a little punchy.
Episode 11 - The Off-Brand Nessie
We're over our post-NLDS funk and are back and ready to dig into the various narratives of the ongoing postseason, including pitcher usage and returning heroes. We don't leave the Nats out, not with some longtime favorites leaving and a whole bunch of possible moves coming up in the offseason. Also, trust us, there are some things you shouldn't google.
Episode 10 - Hashtag Narrative
It’s the NLDS! AAAH! Scherzer vs Kershaw! AAAH! We discuss that, of course, but also superstitious hot dogs, friends of the podcast, and all those other teams also going through the playoffs on this first episode of our shorter, but more frequent, special edition Resting Pitchface Does the Playoffs. Featuring our patented brand of Angry Science Time.
Ghosts playing baseball? Normal. Women playing baseball? Gimmicky. We've got a lot to say about that, as well as plenty on Vin Scully's retirement, the impact of Nats-Pirates trades (complete with requisite Zach Duke Update), and the power of TFU TFU TFU in this week's Resting Pitchface. Oh, and well more than five minutes on beards.
Episode 8 - Girl Dogs Can't Play Basketball
**This episode was recorded before the tragic passing ofJosé Fernández. We are all deeply saddened by this loss, but did not feel it was appropriate to include additional discussion simply to add our voices to the collective grief. This episode stands as we originally recorded it.
Late night episode here at Resting Pitchface! This ep we’ve got the Women’s Baseball World Cup, more baseball pet calendars, Cat Latos’s Dad, obligatory cephalopods, and not very much serious thought about Tim Tebow’s bid for baseball immortality. What can we say, we like to keep it eclectic.
Episode 7 - I Don’t Think About Tim Tebow
Trea Turner is faster than a black mamba snake but slower than a cheetah. You’ll have to listen to this week’s Resting Pitchface episode to find out just which animals can match his top speed, as well as our thoughts on baseball returning to the Olympics, whether Old Bay counts as a PED, Gio Gonzalez’s emoji cloud, and many other things.
One thing we’re all sure of: The Leaping Cephalopods is a great team name.
Episode 6 - Feelings Are Logistical
The theme of Resting Pitchface this week is Bye, Bye, Bye, as we discuss the retirement of A-Rod, some DFA’d former Nationals, and of course, the departure of Jonathan Papelbon. IT’S ABOUT TIME.
There’s some other stuff in there, but we all know what is the most important thing.
Episode 5 - PapelGONE
Episode 4 is here and we’re mainly talking trades, including a welcome to newest National Mark Melancon! And there’s still time to talk about Trea Turner’s triples, historic triple plays, and, of course, high socks.
On a serious note, in this podcast we do discuss the Chapman trade and some of the repercussions of MLB’s domestic violence policy. This section starts around 1 hour and 8 minutes in and continues until the end.
Episode 4 - Triples, Trea(s), and & Trades
Ready for Episode 3 of Resting Pitchface? In this episode there is summer book club, a breakdown of Max Scherzer’s All Star Game pitch speed, discussion of the frequency of triple doubles, questions about the etiquette of retaking engagement photos for Bryce Harper’s re-engagement, and more. And somehow, everything always circled back around to koalas. Curious? Have a listen.
Episode 3 - The Brown Eye (also on iTunes!)
Need a break from 4th of July festivities? Need a cool down now that the fireworks are over? Why not listen to Episode Two of Resting Pitchface, where we discuss such gems as ESPN’s The Body Issue, a mid-season round up of players/plays we love, what baseball players look most like their pets, and more.
Episode Two: If You Ball Out, You Ball Out (also now on iTunes!)
Resting Pitch Face Episode 1 is live! Come and listen to us talk about Nats’ Night Out, what to do when Anthony Rendon gets ejected, Hashtag Make The All Star Game Fun, special guest jennrubenstein and more!
Come check out the inaugural episode of our new podcast, Resting Pitch Face! We’re a new baseball podcast, featuring, but not limited to, the Washington Nationals. In this episode, we touch on topics like the ongoing Danny Espinosa/Trea Turner situation, the Nats’ need for a designated hugger, trades we wish we could undo, and more. Give us a listen!