Bartools Podcast: Recent Episodes
Bartools
Thomas had a house from... Alabama, and we talk about road trips and RVs to Lord Of The Rings, and what an Old Fashioned really is.
Tonight we got a topic question from one of Frasier's Co-worker's and not only is it funny, but it actually made us think (If you can believe that)
Join in and debate with us and let us know what you think of the question!
Today Frasier goes on a 20 minute rant about his latest music gig that was terribly promoted, and he also forgot what this episode was called, but he remembered it involved bleach! You know the drill. Grab a beer!
Cheers!
Frasier is cranky, Max has a new girl (with some serious questions) and everyone had a good time!
Tonight we went in to WING IT! With no topic what so ever... And we wound up talking about drugs.
Tonight we had no topic, again. So Frasier poses one of the weirdest questions ever, and we debate it. Why? Because one of his co workers asked first, and this was a problem that needed solving! We're working on cancer next. We got this
Tonight we have a topic! Aaannnndddd instead we talk about Max's latest, unfortunate run in with a crazy female. Because the list of crazy people Max has dealt with in his life is an ever growing list that just keeps on churning out some of the funniest things we've ever heard!
Today Max invited his best friend Steven on... and shocker... He was drunk. Like... Full blown HAMMERED
In this episode we have our old friend BLAKE back! And he no longer has the shittiest job in the world, now he's just... Playing with wood.
As we return this week we ask the question "What was the most embarrassing attempt at flirting that you have ever tried OR seen someone try?"
Grab a beer for more humiliation!
Today we talk about our nether - regions and the stories that involve them. From the painful, to the embarrassing. We do this for you sick people
Tonight we just went for it! No topic, no script, no ADHD. We just decided to wing it. And to be honest it starts weird, gets serious, then gets EVEN WEIRDER!
It's time for Pain Olymics part 2! Here's the deal. We look up the most fucked up stories we can find on the internet, and then we decide which one is the most fucked up!
Buckle in kids... It's gonna get messy
Tonight we ask the question "If you had to get a tattoo related to your job what would you get, and where?" and the episode turned into one of our favorites that we've ever recorded!
Today's podcast is all about the time we had to "McGiver" something (Odd that words is now a verb) and do we stay on topic? NOT A CHANCE!
Today's episode is all about REVENGE! And us telling stories of when we got the last laugh!
Today we talk about some of the best pranks we've ever pulled on people! Again. For the 3rd time.
Grab a beer. This'll be fun
Tonight the original topic was "What Perks Do You Have of Working at Your Job" and it quickly fell apart.
Put on your Tin Foil Hats guys! We're ready for blast off!
First we'd like to apologize for some of the technical difficulties. We don't know why the recording is skipping at the end of the episode, but it is.
This week we talk about "How to Survive the Weather" So grab a rain jacket kids! This is gonna get messy
ITS EPISODE 69! This week we go back to the potty talk to ask "When did you gamble, and LOSE" And let me tell you... It's a crap shoot.
Today we discuss one of the scariest questions we've ever asked.... "What happened in the bathroom?" Enter If You dare
Today's topic: PORTA POTTY ETTIQUITE. The do's and don'ts of the sacred blue lagoon, the porta john, the honey bucket, the office.
Today we talk about how we KNOW that one guy lied on his resume. And it didn't take rocket science to figure it out.
Tonight we ask "What gets you through your work day" and the guys try their hardest to make Frasier's job of editing the podcast as hard as possible.
Screw you guys I need a drink this time
Today on this 3 ring circus of a podcast we talk about how we screwed over the next poor bastard that had to work on our projects!
We also talk about HOT PLATING and SNOWBALLING from the Urban Dictionary
You have been warned. Viewer inebriation is advised
Today we discuss how (OUTSIDE OF PORN) Hollywood, movies, and TV have misrepresented our respective trades.
But we still talk about porn...
Tonight we talk about how television totally gave normal people the wrong idea about each of our trades. Not all plumbers have plumber's crack, not all mechanics are scumbags, and not all bus drivers are weirdos, but 99% of them are.
Well after being gone for 4 months we are finally back, and ready to explain ourselves!
Grab a beer, and some tissues, and find out where we went
First off we apologize for the 20 minute rant about politics (mostly guns) that starts after we give Trevor some good old fashioned, well, fashion tips!
Then we talk about Jobsite terminology. Words that you may not know we use. That we use! Crazy names for tools, parts, and anything else!
Oh and Luis was not here this episode which made us ask... WHERE IS OUR MEXICAN!?
Today we're talking about the worst screw up we've ever discovered on a jobsite. Where we shoed up ready to work, and someone screw up so bad that they made our lives harder!
We are also officially joined by our friend Luis!
Grab a beer and listen to us bitch about our coworkers!
Today we are talking about our pet peeves! The crap on the job that drives us NUTS! (It's not a long drive for any of us)
Grab a beer and lose your mind with us!
Today on the podcast we talk with our friends Matt and Aaron, who are HUGE movie buffs and critics, to discuss movies. OK mostly just the Zack Snyder version of Justice League and the story behind it.
Grab a beer and check it out!
Today we get to talk all about TOOLS! And no... Not ourselves. Tools we love, Tools we want, tools we can't believe exist!
Today we talk about all of our personal projects. From music, to gear, to computers, to cars (If you couldn't guess)
First off we apologize for the lower quality audio. We weren't paying attention and somehow accidentally recorded this with the Laptop mic instead of our incredibly expensive and shiny microphones.
Beyond that it's business as usual. Grab a beer and you won't even notice the janky audio!
Today we roast our very own Gar-bear. And we really have a hard time coming up with ways to ruin his night... Until max brings up a fuse. That may OR MAY NOT have cost him almost 2,000 dollars!
Today we talk about why Frasier felt like he couldn't poop last week, and the waiter that sang the word "Smegma" to us
Grab a beer and join the fun
Gary was missing, and it was supposed to be his roast night, we decided to pull a fast one and NOT roast him, and instead we're gonna roast him next week when he's actually here to face the music! Check out what we talk about when the loveable Garebear isn't here!
Tonight Thomas' ass is on the line, and if you listen to this episode you'll know why! Please people, clean your toilets!
Grab a drink and enjoy the fun!
Today kids... we roast our favorite bus driver, CODY!
Come have a laugh and help us make fun of him!
Today we take the time to take our anger out on the Hot Topic Fuck Boy!
Listen to us destroy his ass! We mean uhh.... Whatever
Today we don't know what happened. Max brought a friend, and it went all downhill from there. So we started roasting him in front of his "Little friend"
Enjoy the insanity!
This week we go over how all of us got our ridiculous nicknames! And also some of the plans that went very, very, wrong.
Today we talk about the times we were STONE COLD BUSTED. And other than Max and his finger, the hilarity continues in epic fashion!
Grab a beer and join the party!
We're ending this year with a BANG as we talk about the past year and just general BS! No alcohol was consumed during this episode if you can believe that! And Trevor's boots smell like R Kelly's sheets!
Today's topic is about Max's finger! OK not really. Today is all about safety, and how much we all hate it, and hate the safety guy, and the rules. Come on in and listen to us bitch about safety, and MAX'S FINGER!
Today we play "WORST FIRSTS" Aka we all put ideas in a hat, and then we have to pull a topic and tell a story about the worst first, date, kink, vacation, or whatever it is!
And we promise the first 10 minutes will make sure that you never look at poor max the same EVER again.
Today, you good boys and girls, we talk about THE WORST INJURIES WE HAVE EVER CAUSED OURSELVES.
Gary and gravity don't mix, Frasier screwed himself, Max lost a toe nail, Cody and that tree don't get along, Thomas is being Thomas, and Trevor... Decided to go dirt biking, and obliterate his knee. MY LEG!
Grab a beer and join the fun!
Today we have on our friend Strip Club Steve! He's been a bouncer at clubs in New Jersey, Florida, and Now Seattle! Frasier met him on one fateful night, and you'll hear the story devolve from there! Come check out some of the crazy stories he has from his extensive career!
Grab a beer and join the fun!
Today we sit down and talk (joke) about Thanksgiving! From food, to fights, to football! Come grab a beer and a slice of pie and join the fun!
Today, ladies and gentlemen, we had a challenge: Find the most fucked up stories on the internet, and try to get each other to tap out. And let's just say Gary won. Oh he won. We're never gonna look at lobster the same way again. If you wanna know why take a listen!
Grab a beer and join the insanity... if you can handle it
Today we have on our good friend BLAKE who has done almost every job in the book. But today we specifically interview him about his current job which is SEPTIC TANK CLEANER! Oh yeah... It's a shituation!
Grab a beer and laugh with (or at) us!
So we started with a topic idea, and Frasier tried to keep us focused on it, but that didn't happen! So enjoy listening to us go completely off the rails!
Grab a beer and join the insanity!
Today we sit around, have a few Elysian pumpkin ales, and tell all our favorite Halloween stories! From our favorite costumes, scaring our siblings, and if we think ghosts (or aliens) are real
Grab your favorite basic white bitch drink and join the fun!
Tonight we start with a good ranting from Gary involving a certain Ford dealership, and then we ALL get into it, because we are once again ranting out our customers, and more importantly saying "What Can the customer do to make our lives/jobs easier?"
Grab a beer and join the fun!
Today's topic.. HORRIBLE BOSSES! Cody talks about his Karen, Gary and Frasier complain about the same guy from the grocery store, Thomas has a district manager that actually can take a joke, Trevor almost kills his boss, and Max has a Major Burns on duty (Reference MASH)
Grab a beer and join the fun!
Welcome to the first episode of Season 2! We're excited to have you back.
This week we have a fart competition, talk about a myriad of OSHA violations, the bus Trevor is working on from hell. And that's just in the first 20 minutes! Then we get to the topic of "The worst pick-up lines we've ever used THAT ACTUALLY WORKED"
Grab a beer and join the fun!
Our final episode of season 1!
Tonight we talk about the "Greenhorn Status" Yeah that time the new guys (sometimes us) pulled stunts only new guys know how to do!
Grab a drink and join in!
Today ladies and gentlemen is the first episode of our new co-host TREVOR NORDQUIST! He's been a long time friend of the show, and we are glad that he can finally join us on a permanent basis. With that being said today's topic is "What did you get blamed for that you were completely innocent in?"
Grab a beer and join the insanity... with the 6 OF US!
YOU CANNOT BE THIS STUPID! How many times have the guys on this podcast been asked THAT question? You're gonna find out today! Come find out how dumb we can actually be!.
Today we have the topic of "CLOSE CALLS ON THE JOBSITE" so basically why we shouldn't be alive. Or our co-workers shouldn't be alive. Thomas gets drilled in the face, and electrocuted, we complain about why hard hats are dumb, and why Max's classmates should do what the teacher says.
This week we simply just.. Talk about our terrible work weeks. Cody was in a car wreck, Gary is doing 90% of the work, Thomas took a drill to the face, Max is high, and Frasier is losing his mind!
Grab a beer and join the insanity!
Today we actually get a little serious and want to talk to anyone thinking about getting into the trades. Specifically giving advice to apprentices. Of course we add in our (un)usual brand of insane humor!
Grab a beer and learn a thing or two!
Today Ladies and Gentlemen we talk about our BEST (or worst depending on how you look at it) blackout Stories. Yes good people, the times that alcohol made us forget the stuff we did. And thank God it did!
Come grab a beer and join us!
Today we talk about the times the job site was a nightmare! Frasier went ice skating, and had a curse on him. Cody has a sub bus from hell, Gary hates crawl spaces, and so much more!
Grab a beer and enjoy the insanity!
Today it's Pranks Part 2! And today they get even more heinous! Gary messed with his Journeyman's parts, Frasier got involved in a prank war, Cody Hacks his co-worker's bus, Max scares the living daylights out of his sister, and Thomas' apprentice can't find Juan!
Grab a beer and enjoy the show!
Today we start part 1 of our favorite topic so far. Pranks on the jobsite! From Thomas using clowns on his boss, Cody's capture the flag tournament party, Frasier convincing his boss that he might go to jail, to Max setting his co-worker on fire, and of course Gary and his brother's Glitter dicks!
These stories and more on the way! Grab a beer and come hang out with us!
Today we are recording with our friend Trevor once again, and we ask "When did your tool do you dirty" And we mean tools... for work... like construction. We talk about cranes falling over, PVC cutters inexplicably breaking, busted knuckles, and even one tool in particular catching on fire!
Grab a beer and come hang out with us! Cheers!
Today ladies and gentlemen we ask the simple question... Where did you find the poop.
This episode needs no further explanation. Come join the party!
Today we talk about our STD tests (ALL NEGATIVE MIND YOU!) why Gary doesn't go to Edmonds, what our dream tool set up at home would be, and what job(s) did you get that you knew were just gonna be a pain in the ass.
Grab a drink and join the fun!
Tonight we talk about what we're doing to keep sane during this quarantine. Including gaming! We talk about the new DOOM ETERNAL, Knights Of The Old Republic, Star Wars Battlefront 2, and more! Also we talk about cars and Max's 1973 VW bug that we're all going to help turn into a hotrod!
Grab A Beer and join the fun!
Today we sit around, and bitch about being on lockdown due to Coronavirus. We end up talking about death, viruses, the companies that are screwing us over.
Grab a beer, Kick up your feet, and let us make your quarantine that much less miserable
Today we interview our boy Max! He's the only one among us manly enough to join the military, and boy does he have some stories to tell!
Grab a beer and join in on the fun!
Today we interview our boy Gary! Listen in to hear him answer YOUR questions that you guys sent in!
Today on the podcast we interview our man Cody! Who (unfortunately) has known Frasier for 20 years now! We talk about all the usual things we do and some Dungeons and Dragons!
Today we interview Frasier! The group's (Former) man-whore! And things get weird quick!
Grab a beer and come hang with us!
Tonight we interview our boy Thomas! The guy who is also responsible for this idea we call The Bartools Podcast! As a fun game for you all we would like you to write in to us and guess as which point Thomas is ABSOLUTELY PLASTERED, because oh yeah... he got wasted during this podcast! Come learn more about our favorite 06 Electrician!
Tonight we decided to sit around and drink and talk about whatever we wanted while we celebrated St. Patty's Day! Cheers Folks!
On today's episode we get to torture our best friend Trevor Nordquist with YOUR questions! Trevor tells us about his coworker that had/has a deathwish, How he met each of the guys on the podcast, and that time his Girlfriend's brother walking in on them!
Yeah... Love 'em or hate 'em we all have that one guy or gal that got known as "That guy" After the stories mentioned!
Come join the insanity!
Today we talk about animals on the jobsite!
Good, bad, ugly, or just plain disgusting. And how a 6'6" man almost "scuttled" a cat
It's time to talk about the people that have us on a leash in this week's topic "What did your boss do?"
Cody's pool got shut down so he got sent to camp, Max met Gilbert the penis, Thomas's boss tried to get him fired... and failed, Frasier's boss got caught in a STING opperation, and Gary almost got gassed out of his own office.
This week is all about the crazy customers we've had to deal with.
From Gary's customer Karen, to Max's story about non-consensual hard boiled eggs. Then there's Frasier's customer that has no idea what he's talking about, Cody's return to the Semen Station, and Thomas's time being a Valet for one crazy entitled lady.
This week we talk about the jobs that went terribly wrong
Cody has to deal with 2 brats and a large man, Max tries to fix a car from 600 miles away, Gary has quite the story of what happens with a bad apprentice and a nightmare house, Thomas walked in on a bad situation, and Frasier has to deal with a customer that can't clean... well anything
Come join the insanity!
This week we talk about our most awkward sexual moments
Thomas's date was drunk and poor Gimli had to see some foul play, Cody went on a blind date and Mr. Cuddles made an appearance, Little Max couldn't be a good soldier and stand at attention, Gary's dad heard WAY too much, and Frasier's story involves a funeral, a hot tub, and his dad's bed
This week we go over the most expensive screw ups we have either been a part of or witnessed.
Thomas didn't see the leak, Max shouldn't have a job (but he knows a girl's mom), Gary's building got flooded... twice, Cody thought challenging a tree to a fight with a bus was a good idea, and Frasier's co-worker managed to get an entire house torn down.
This week we talk about how our various apprenticeships work, and the shenanigans that go along with them.
Frasier talks about school, and all of its woes, Cody is a drift king, Max shouldn't be alive, Thomas has too many On The job (OTJ) hours to count that don't count, and Gary somehow managed to fit into a crawl space looking like the Green Bastard
PLEASE EXCUSE THE AUDIO QUALITY OF THIS EPISODE AS SOME DUMB-ASS FORGOT THE MICS SO WE RECORDED IT ON LAPTOP SPEAKERS
This week Cody tells us what it was like life-guarding on a Navy base, Thomas take us over to England for some slave labor, Max reminds us how bad it is to have a roommate... in the Army, Gary has a wonderful company party experience, and Frasier finds out what happens when you challenge a short man to jump as high as he can.