Old Gits and Hits: Recent Episodes
Chris , David & John, The Old Gits.
A monthly update of our weekly jaundiced view of life, sometimes serious, sometimes risque always worth a listen, visit WWW.Oldgitsandhits.co.uk for more
Yes, it certainly is well only in Old Git World. We visited the home of Mr Christmas UK, and the big man was there, ready and waiting for us.
It was our visit to the home of Andy Parke, who is officially Mr Christmas, and what a wonderful surprise and great day out it was for us. As we arrived, the Queen's speech was on TV; Mr Christmas runs this EVERY single day of the year and alternates between the King and, of course, the Queen. The whole house is fully decorated and looks so nice with his upside-down Christmas tree.
You have to listen in to find out more and, of course, see the images on our socials.
With the sunshine we are having in the UK at the moment, it was nice to visit Mr Christmas and think about what is likely to be coming up in a few months' time.
Enjoy, and of course Ho! Ho! Ho!
Yes, as the title suggests, we are still working on hitting the road with our very own unique 'fast food' offering. This is actually the audio version we put out on our YouTube channel (what do you mean you didn't know we had a YouTube channel)? Just go to YouTube on any device; mind you, we look surprisingly wonderful on widescreen TV. Mind you, I think that's thanks to Hair, makeup and wardrobe- of course I mean the lack of either of those departments.
Anyway, let us know what you think by getting in touch on any of the socials or email or via Doris Stokes (look it up). oldgistandhits@gmail.com
Enjoy, but not too much, just in case matron is watching.
x
For those of you who haven't caught up with our YouTube channel, this is one of our latest videos. (Incidentally, it's easy to watch on mobile, tablet, computer, or even your TV. Just go to YouTube and type in Old Gits and Hits).
Anyway, for those that just can't be bothered, like the true Old Gits we are. We decided to deliver it as a podcast as well, so here it is. Now as you know, we do ramble on a bit at times; for instance, this time it's continuing our show and tell, with the addition of a genuine NEW Old Gits mug. We also talk about finding buried treasure whilst at home, you know in these cupboards or drawers that no one ever wants to look in. John also tries to convince us (well, he had already convinced himself) that he has a good and muscular physique. You need to listen to hear David & Chir's response.
That's about it for now from 3 Old Gits to you. Have a darn good day, or spend all day darning; now that's something we should talk about.
Cheerio x
Yet another money-making opportunity that we have, and believe it or not, this one definitely has legs, well, actually wheels.
This story came about when a leading lady 'luvvie' announced that her mother fed her rubbish food by giving her crisp sandwiches. Now, being Old Gits, we took umbrage with that as we are totally convinced the crisp sandwich is a British food institution that needed defending.
Furthermore, we saw it as a great opportunity for us to start our own outside catering company, providing crisp sandwiches on demand. Not only that, but David actually found a couple of food trucks, including an ex-ice cream truck that would be ideal for our project. We are looking for your help with coming up with the 'theme' tune that will be played when the Crisp truck arrives along your street. The Crunch by the RAH Band was one suggestion we would like more.
Finally, we also thought the à la carte menu and self-construction sandwich (after you have your own FREE lesson) on how to build the correct sandwich, which will be trademarked, of course.
Book the Old Gits crisp catering for your next big event.
Grab a crisp sandwich, listen in and enjoy.
After being asked many times by our listeners to host a live show, rather than just recording it in some far-flung venue, read on or listen intently.
This latest podcast is all about promoting our first live 'gig' with you, dear audience, as part of the 'live' audience. Being Old Gits, it is all about the cost and as we fully appreciate that, this will be one of those evenings where you won't believe how we manage to put such a great show and fun evening for the cost.
Get in touch with us now to guarantee your place at this event, which will happen on January 16th 2026. and to of course be part of the Old Gits & Hits Show & Podcast in association with Helping Old Ladies In Desperation All Year 2026.
Our email address is oldgitsandhits@gmail.com
Go on, you know you want to.
Regular listeners to our Podcast and The Old Gits and Hits show will know we are always on the lookout for the next money-making scheme that we can retire early on. Sadly, we haven't been able to invest in one as yet, even though we have all now retired, so obviously something went wrong there.
Well, this new scheme is actually the terrific playground game of Conkers, which, for health & safety reasons, it seems that the children today are no longer able to play at school.
We three Old Gits are going to play the Old Gits Conkers game, see if we can get a sixer or maybe even more.
Get your Conkers, see you behind the bike sheds for a game next time we meet up.
Oh, and if you have any Conkers stories, do let us know.
At long last, the three of us decide it's about time to stand up against those who keep banging on that whatever we have done for many years, is now being criticised as being offensive. We also believe the group Showaddywaddy should re-record their version of 3 Steps to Heaven, listen in and find out why and how.
We also explain that apparently, it's now the time to bring back the man hug, as the air kiss is now outdated. Be careful, as the maximum time you should go in for a hug is 7 seconds; otherwise, you could end up in court. Men need to be careful, especially if they are standing at attention.
We have also announced our very first Old Gits tour of the UK, starting in Edinburgh in February 2026. The reason it's not until February is that we have to wait until Chris gets his bus pass, which will allow us to travel cost-effectively for the tour. We will, of course, be taking our Wokeism steps with us.
Oh, and finally, anyone fancy a thrug?
Ah, time for the honesty box to appear, oh blimey, so many different snippets here, all as we used to say to 'tickle your fancy'.
First, we find out which one of us has in the past taken something we shouldn't have. Oddly enough, we only own up to the odd office pen; when on reflection, I am sure we must have done more than that. Well, here's your chance. If you know either or all of us and have information on our 'shady' past, please let us know.
Then we moved on to Gob Stoppers, mind you, how can we go from honesty to Gob Stoppers, then even Spangles get a look in. Then, to round it off, David, for some reason, was swimming past a woman who smelled of mothballs.
THIS could only even happen on The Old Gits show and Podcast, not only that, it's a short, sharp, quick and easy listen.
Ta muchly for your time.
You know how and when you decide to have a bowl of muesli; each bowl is different, given the mix of ingredients you put in the bowl. Well, that's exactly what you get with this Podcast, and no, I don't mean a free bowl of muesli with every listen.
Yes, there is so much going on, we have resorted to making this more like our OLD Podcasts rather than the 'bite-size' chunks we have been putting out. Mind you, it doesn't stop you getting something to eat, finding your best armchair or somewhere equally as relaxing in preparation for what's to come.
Here we go then, coming up. Edinburgh Fringe, comments and Jokes of the year. Panto season rehearsal is on the horizon, and jokes for that. Dire Straits ( No, not being in it) and their Money For Nothing, with nothing being on TV, how does that work with Mrs Browns Boys? Your favourite teacher at school and why. Oh, and the four-letter word you should NEVER use at an airport and what happened to one of the team when he used it.
See what I mean about the bowl of muesli? Enjoy your listen.
Here is PT2 of our unleashed tour with the help of Gromit, Wallace, Feathers McGraw, Norbot and even Shaun the Sheep.
A reminder that all proceeds from the eventual auction of every sculpture, as well as funds from downloading the app, even making a donation, etc. All go towards the Grand Appeal, the Bristol Children's Hospital Charity. Now that makes even more sense to get involved.
Hve a terrific day being UNLEASHED in the city.
Thoroughly recommended day out with kids of all ages, including "Old Gits". We were certainly helped by the weather, of course. Listen in as we spend a beautiful summer's day sculpture-spotting in and around the Greater Bristol Area.
There are 53 iconic sculptures from the Gromit movies, etc. We managed 8 during our trip, which we have put together into 2 of our unique 'Bite Size' chunks of Podcasts. Oh, and if you are thinking of 'doing the trail', don't forget to pick up your map before you start, as planning the way around that suits you.
Enjoy your visit, even if it is through The Old Gits.
Yes, the opening question remember the time when you were a youngster, you would be bought the 'Lucky Bag' treat? So-called as you didn't know what was going to be in them, what you knew was there would likely be a lot of 'stuff' usually rubbish sweets and toys.
Welcome to this epic Old Gits/Brits Podcast, is it full of rubbish and toys, well I leave you to decide the first part and yes we are always open to being 'toyed' with. If only...........
Well if you don't deem it a Lucky Bag, how about a smorgasbord of chatter? We cover everything, from radio presenter Zoe Ball to Shakespeare even our very own Pantomimes with a new one for this year just finished being written.
If nothing else stand back and stare in astonishing amazement at how we managed to cram so much intelligent conversation in such a small space.
Oh finally enjoy it.
One more finally, maybe not too much intelligent conversation, but as a regular listener you already knew that.
Those Gen z's are at it again. Don't they make you sleepy listening to them drone on and on? Well, it certainly gets 'our goat' as Chris will say. We three are fully paid-up members of the i Generation and for those that do not know the 'i' is for invisible. Yes to those wonderful Gen Z (ers) they don't even know we lot exist, as of course the world now revolves around them.
Our little story this week stems from a promotion for a holiday home that a Gen Z (er) advertised using THEIR language which we just couldn't understand, however not to be outdone a member of the 'i' generation did the same back. Mind you we didn't understand either of them so what that makes us is anyone's guess.
We then moved on to 'Johnnies' now you have to be a certain age, to know what these were known by members of the 'i' generation. Whereas the Gen Z (ers) know them as a Franger.Now even I am confused, can I suggest you listen in and find out for yourself what on earth we are talking about?
Good luck out there.
Historically you went to the supermarket to buy your food. Now though, you can (apparently) get a lucky charm for your arm or even a sugar daddy. Oddly enough, these words sound like food, so how about an upside-down pineapple?
Yes if all you wanted was a pineapple and it ended upside down in your trolley or basket, you could find yourself 'bumped' as it is now the sign you are looking for a partner. Even worse or possibly better if you have chocolates alongside, that's a sign you want more than a partner you are looking for a sexual partner. Even more so if you then visit the perfume section you are ready and raring to go.
It's all a bit too much for us Old Gits, we decided to send John to the supermarket to do a bit of research and asked him if he would buy 2 melons and a cucumber. He came back with a banana and two plums. It must be an age thing.
Ah well enjoy the banter x
What a great Olympics this year. Well done to the French, although the less said about the opening ceremony the better. As for swimming in the Seine, and dodging the French Cigars, that's definitely, not one for anyone let alone the world's elite athletes.
On the other hand or 'both hands and a good back' how about the Old Gits Olympics we discuss in great detail, with a certain amount of empathise put into the wonderful art of Wife Carrying. I am sure you will join us three in wondering how on earth the Olympic committee can drop skateboarding and fail to replace it with wife-carrying, or to please the snowflakes, partner-carrying. Gold Silver or Bronze, we think it's a definite winner.
Let us know your thoughts. x
I know what you are thinking how on earth can anyone discuss in detail the three above subjects all in less than 15 minutes?
Well, if you don't know the three of us now then it's about time you did. You will find we can traverse any subject matter as well as talk about it as if with knowledge and experience of which we probably don't have a lot. Furthermore, we will make it plausible and possibly enlightening for us all.
Dont agree! then listen in and be underwhelmed.
Yes, you did read that correctly, and may well be asking yourself, 'What is the connection between the two?
BIG mistake on your part, there doesn't always have to or need to be a connection, well not in our world anyway. It's just that we start with one train of thought and before you know it it has been forgotten and we are onto something completely different. It's just how it is. We usually blame the Producer who then blames it on the Exec producer, who usually reprimands one of the researchers for not briefing us correctly at the start of the show.
It is getting increasingly difficult for us presenters, working under stress and with, to be honest, a load of idiots, not paying attention to their respective jobs in the organisation.
We long for it.........to improve. Make of that what you will, in the meantime, it's back to the Asparagus and a bit more manscaping.
Enjoy your time at Old Git World x
Ah yes we all remember the above, well certainly Chris does, as it's one of his bi-weekly jokes. Hopefully, the only thing that's bi about him., unless you know differently of course.
Anyway, this is the story that more married people than ever apparently are using a caravan to have an 'illicit' relationship. Well all three of us had more than enough to say on the subject, not only that, we thought it was entertaining enough to warrant one of our short Podcasts. Let us know if you agree and of course, if you are one of the participating couples invite us around to your caravan to discuss it we will bring our recording eqpt and maybe make a show of it, whilst you two make a show of it.
If you know what we mean.
They don't anymore as it seems a vast majority of people are watching Big Brother. Well as you will find when you listen in, we wondered if we should apply, what with our chiselled good looks, fantastic physical fitness, and honed bodies (whilst most people appearing on Big Brother seem to believe their bodies are temples) in point of fact we believe ours are more like 'sheds', and who doesn't like a good shed!
Interviews are currently taking place for the next series and John thought it was high time we applied. One suggestion is that maybe we could feature on the show Big Mother after all without a mother you wouldn't have a brother meaning you would be in the market for a Father for which we 3 are qualified and ready to roll.
Bring on the contract we are ready to sign up.
We are a bit 'old school' regarding work and sickness. Whereas if you read certain papers now, more and more people are taking time off work due to stress. Now in no way are we saying that stress is good for you or that it does not exist, but there comes a time when overall we must start to question certain people's motives for using the term, as a way of getting time off work.
As we discussed on the Podcast, at times we have all experienced problems/issues at or with work, however, see if you agree with us that there are likely two sides to the discussion.
Do yourself a favour take a look around and notice how people appear to be 'dressed down' rather than dressed up. It seems that COVID-19 (such a long time ago now) took everyone's sense of style and decided that nowadays you don't need to spend time in front of a mirror before leaving home in the morning. It also appears that the fact that trainers are now called sports shoes, and cost the price of a small country's GDP, people are hoodwinked into thinking they look smart when worn with a suit or something other than sportswear.
Well, we don't think they look the part and suggest we all start wearing a cravat and possibly a silk jacket or smoking jacket along with a nice pair of brogues.
Join the Old Gits revolution and change the world for the better.
Ah yes, that made your ears prick up!
On this subject as long as that was the only thing that did, we should be alright. On the show, we discussed an article that detailed how many different ways there are now where you could be classed as committing adultery. Being as we are three very wholesome 'luvved up' passionate 'liars' it appealed to us.
Incidentally, we are only kidding about the above of course we aren't all 'luvved up' After all David & John have been married so long that they are awaiting their long service medals.
Let us know what you think of this bite-sized show.
Well, it seems if we did someone forgot to invite us to the ceremony.
We most definitely deserve an award of sorts, although to be fair over the years we have been awarded lots of accolades. Mind you nothing is as highly regarded as an Oscar. As we say here why or why do the so-called 'luvvies' have to thank everyone who they have ever met in their life for the award?
I mean David tells the story of appearing alongside an A-lister in a movie who politely told him to F off. It was in jest but did she mention it when she won an award, you are right no she didn't.
Anyway, time for our medication whilst you listen to our ramblings. Nurse!!!
It was always the cue for a song, but not at all. Even we Old Brits have a bit of love in our veins (well one of us anyway).
Yes at long last Chris has succumbed to John & David constantly reminding him of how wonderful married life 'really' is, (and if you believe that you will believe anything). Meaning of course he is on the verge of being made a truly happily married Old Brit to the lovely Steph, she always seemed such a sensible girl as well. There were more jibes like this as you will find out, although joking apart we as I am sure you do, wish them both the very best for their future together.
Ah yes, that heading caught your attention, but what does it mean?
We have all watched TV news programmes, when they run several different stories each usually covered by a 'professional journalist'. Here is the query that we can never understand. Why oh why do the TV companies feel it's important to have the 'professional journalist' outside the respective premises for the story irrespective of whether or not they have someone to speak to?
Listen in and see if you agree with us.
Well if the heading didn't grab your attention I guess you just happened to stumble on us.
Well yes, we are revealing all of our undergarments, or for some Y-fronts, Briefs, or maybe even long johns. Every type of material will be discussed, although maybe not for the faint-hearted or of course if you're having your breakfast, lunch, or dinner. If its dinner I won't even discuss meat and 2 veg. Oh blimey, I have done. Never mind take a deep breath and go for it.
It's the time of the year for all lovers to go overboard and spend a fortune on the one you love. Well that is of course ALL except the three of us, we have scoured the special offers to find the Best Deal that money can buy (OK Then cheap offers).
See what we came up with. Oh, and Happy Valentine's day.
Now for our regular listeners, you will know one of the team will 'glaze over' at the very mention of the word gardening, however the other 2 get very euphoric at the very thought of it. Whereas all 3 of us have a view on first dates even though the first dates we had were in some instances before 'Adam was a lad'. Still not to be outdone we (as you would expect) all had an opinion.
Does our opinion count, well of course they do if only for us to show that at some time we were boys and men about town and out there on the pull!
Well, the heading grabbed your attention anyway. All we have to do is keep it.
Yes, this week we are referring to The Women's World Cup Finals, no not in that way of course. The old spoon bender himself Uri Geller initially said (or at least that is what we read in the British press) that the England team was going to win the World Cup, then lo & behold he said he was unable to challenge his thoughts effectively at the time it mattered as he was running a school tour around his museum!
Now we three were trying to visualise the museum full of bent spoons, well You get the jest of it now do us and yourself a favour and listen in full. It's a bit of fun to lighten your day or night.
Another episode of phrases that for some reason or the other you no longer can use, or you can but it is likely you will upset someone albeit innocently. Mind you the way this is going it's practically impossible to open your mouth without the thought police running at you from all sides.
If we have it wrong tell us we don't claim to be perfect in every way. only in most ways.
Well even given the bad weather in the UK over the last weekend.
We were invited to attend an airshow. With only 2 of the team able to go, it was a case of 'dodge the rain'. However, all was not lost as there were a lot of interesting aircraft and their carers known as pilots to have a chat with.
Oh and to cap it all a few rather nifty little surprises along the way.
Certainly, if anyone is going to have old clothes or bargain hunting for shoes then it surely has to be The Old Brits,
Now David had been rummaging (it's a usual pastime for him) this time though it was a cupboard. He found something that Chris always calls Merch, if that name is new to you then let the 3 of us educate you by listening in.
Now onto the shoes, proving we all love a bargain John was very disappointed when a shoe shop closed its doors in his local High St, find out why he was mind you when you realise the shop he is talking about you may well question his judgment. Chris & David certainly tried to help him, especially when he then wore the purchased shoes to a 'well heeled' event he was hosting. Possibly NOT so well-heeled.
It's only a short Podcast this week, the full one will be posted later, oh and of course, you can watch the video of this one on our Youtube channel, just look for The Old Brits.
Remember when you used to have everything in 'bit size chunks'? This show is exactly the same, just not as fulfilling or tasty. It's just 2 subjects lifted from an absolutely classic show and brought to a very short life right here and right now.
It's ideal to listen at those important times when you visit the smallest room in the house unless you are a lottery winner or multi-millionaire then even that room is going to be bigger than either of our homes. If that is you then invite us around, we are house-trained and guarantee we won't pee on the floor (well at least two of us will, no not pee I mean won't pee on the floor the other one can't be relied upon for anything, in fact, all 3 of us constantly take the pee.) but which one is it.
Enjoy your little hearts out with this.
Yes and with one of the 'team' away on holiday (mind you he forgot to tell us until the day before the show). It is left to the two professionals to fulfill the best of the Old Brits. Not only that this is the 'full fat' version this is no mini-podcast, but its also important to say that the two of us that are left are definitely not the largest 'full fat' part of the team.
Anyway, it's the same sort of waffle, with a little titter to add to your day.
Waffle & Full Fat, its maybe time we did a cooking Podcast.
Yes, we are Old Brits with all three of us, too less or more of an extent like or love cycling, why wouldn't you sunshine and the wind through your hair, obviously not on our head as we would have cycling helmets on, however at our age, we certainly have enough hair elsewhere to feel the wind, so much so that both Chris & David regularly manscape to Johns disgust although thankfully they don't do it together that would have everyone worried.
Now onto the subject, A recent report states that cyclists who wear a helmet and lycra are inhuman, how on earth they arrived at that is of course NOT beyond us so listen in to find out our take on it and how we believe it to be another money making opportunity for the Old Brits.
Incidentally, today has been officially (about time) recognised as Old Brits Day. Therefore if you know or see an Old Brit (there are lots of us around) wish them a terrific day. Oh and enjoy the listen.
All forms of life exist in this episode of our weekly ramblings. Memories by the bucket load, which is most definitely better than clearing a farmyard with your bucket anyway.
After all, there are so many intellectual podcasts to listen to we like to think ours are the polar opposite, indeed some have said they are one step up from the filth of a farmyard. That though we fear is probably a compliment too far. Just in case you are wondering it is after all good clean and honest fun.
I am sure the heading makes you think 'What on earth are these guys on'. It's the podcast or of course radio show, where every form of life really does come together and that in itself is a perfect trick which as Old Brits we suspect would only happen to someone luckier than us.
Do listen and let us know what you think, especially as we have now totally transitioned to The Old Brits on the radio and here, so the new email address is TheOldBrits@gmail.com.
Enjoy and remember to laugh if just a little it always helps.
Ah yes find out if any of us have ever pulled a 'sickie' just for a day off. If you aren't familiar with the word 'sickie' then all the more reason to listen in.
This little episped could also help anyone who is thinking of taking time off of work and cant find the right reason to call in the office with.
Food is always close to our heart and at long last we seemed to have received recognition from the USA that they have caught on to our Crisp Sandwich. Not only that they are actually calling it by its correct name rather than potato chips. We all know potato chips are what you have with fish and definitely shouldn't be confused with French Fries, that's just a posh name that means absolutely nothing, in fact, what on earth do the French know about cooking chips anyway. Try finding a genuine fish & chip shop in Paris, I rest my case.
Find the full story here.
Ah yes, both John & David are still waiting for the call to be part of next year's race, seeing as the UK's version is drawing to a close for 2023.
In preparation, David had a great idea (well that's what he thinks) to get the team into shape for the 'race' next year whilst also continuing the Old Brits world tour that started in 2022.
Here we go then, being Old Brits and careful on the money side of things, well after all who isn't at the moment? Currently at least until June 30th unless it gets extended by the government, you can travel on local buses for £2 a journey. How about The Old Brits take a tour to Edinburgh by local bus. David calculated that the trip would cost about £35 and take about 2-3 days. He seemed to think this would be a good idea, however, what reaction did he get to the 'trip north'. Check it out here.
If you want to join David (maybe John & Chris) get in touch and we will see you on the local bus.
Well yes, we thought as everyone else within the media is covering the Coronation of King Charles, it would be remiss of us if we weren't to do the same.
Now here is a twist, as we are truly OLD Brits, one of us is old enough to have been around for the coronation of Queen Elizabeth now that's got to be worth listing to find out what memento he still has and is proud of. It also may stop you from rushing out to buy some 'tat' for this event.
Its a once in a lifetime event for most of us, so enjoy it to the full and wave a flag for us Old Brits.
For those new to our ramblings. Yes, the diverse level of subjects we talk about surprises even us 3.
Mind you we are on the lookout for a hands-on producer, we thought that given how long we have been doing the radio shows it's about time someone got hands-on with us. If you are interested we suggest you listen to a few podcasts or shows and if still interested then we suggest you seek medical advice.
Or of course, you could come and join our happy throng.
Never mind about St Georges's Day which we duly celebrated as the true Brits we are, which is more than can be said about St George, who never even entered the country. Mind you he could well be classed as something of a marketing genius who got everyone to admire him and had nothing to do with the place.
We decided that as another one of our money-making projects, we would put ourselves forward for the patrons of the All-New.......Old Brits Day. Please support us in our quest to have one day of the year totally dedicated to us Old Brits.
Enjoy the banter.
No matter where you are its certainly finanicially tough for all of us, yet we Old Brits have what we think is a superb way to make money, or as some of our listeners will know it will probably turn out to be yet another hair brained idea.
I will briefly outline below if you are getting married or maybe you want to be the first to have a funeral video (for those we would appreciate payment well in advace as its difficult to collect a debt afterwards). Anyway you will know how much these so called videographers charge, yet we think we can do the same or if not better on a budget using mobile phones, you will find out that we will be certainly NOT lowering the bar in the presentation, we will ensure the end result, sorry guarantee the end result will be more memorable than you thought possible in fact it will definitaley exceed your expectations. I dont want to share too much now but listen in then get in contact for us to film your next event at our budget prices.
Ah yes, that heading brought you in didnt it. In other words (see what I did then) Lagugage good or bad (in respect to Chris its usually bad).
Actually what we mean is how words change for the same item, we explore a few in the Old Brits way, meaning you will probably be more confused after than when we started out, or perhaps it has never bothered you before, if thats the case it will do after you listen..
However with the holiday season start soon certainly here in the UK, it does mean that you might well need a travel guide to help you through the maze or words. Now of course you could invite us along on your trip and we are ALWAYS up for that or just listen to this Podcast and thank us after.
We continually get asked "who do you think you are" (we assume from that you like what you hear and need to know more about each of us).
For those that ask, this short introduction by each of us does go some way to explain, although it does get somewhat hijacked as each of us try to. Not to worry the other 2 who are always ready to 'put each other down' in the nicest possible way (I think) were on hand to outline the key points of each of us. Mind you after recording it we all felt more confused than before we started.
Oh and importantly we know these shortened listens will definitley leave you wanting more or could that be less. No come on lets be psoitive after you we are all friends...are'nt we?
If you answered YES well interesting because so have we. Not only that we decided it would be a great opportunity to get away for a few weeks without having to worry about flights etc*. Mind you we may NOT have thought it through too well as its a competition and we always strive to win.
Anyway we have applied (well 2 of us have) you can find out which two by listening to the Podcast.
That's about it for now the rest you can find by listening in.
- In truth we thought it would give us a chance of getting away from the ladies in our lives. Funny enough we haven't told them so who knows they may well get up one morning and find we have gone.
Wow, I hear you say. How can these two topics be covered in the same Podcast listen in and find out.
Well, those that follow the Old Brits or Gits already know nothing is off the discussion table and neither does it have to have structure, well that's our excuse for the ramshackle way we put things together. Think of being in your local bar or pub and each time a new mate or friend comes in another topic starts. That is exactly what listening to us is, without the expense of buying a round, mind you that's never stopped Chris in the past.
Anyway, which way do you place your toilet paper/tissue or roll, (see we cover all eventualities)? Then we got on to equality, now that's a hot subject at the moment see what happens when we give it the Old Gits or Brits treatment.
I need a lie down now, too much to contend with for a man my age. Whilst I rest enjoy the podcast
Ah yes, as I have said many times, its good to see you have staying power.
Congratulate yourself on making through episode 1 of the lesson, I do hope you joined in if only to have a 'pluck' along with us.
Now you know how far we actually got, you will find a few musical memories in Pt2 along with a few facts that I am sure David would have preferred NOT to have admitted.
Oh and finally like a bottle of good wine. Will our Ukulele playing improve with age or do we have to practise?
Well inspired as we are by musicians playing instruments, we set about joing them at long last with the help and assitance of Ukulele Ben, blimey what a maestro he is, although undoubtedly he did have his work cut out with us.
This weeks Podcast has just John & David. Chris obviously decided he didnt need any lessons ( he does really, just dont tell him I told you).
Now we have 2 episodes of this weeks lesson. The question is how did Ben get on with his two new students.
As it does every year, the day of St Valentine came and went, and for those love birds or not we think our podcast will say a few home truths.
As for the new fangle way of searching the internet or asking it a question we tried it out and my goodness no wonder the workes in silicon valley are concerned, it will certainly change what we do and do remember we are OLD and easily used it. What on earth will the wonders come up with next, ooh maybe thats what we should be talking about next in fact watch out for the next podcast it could well have somthing assocoiated with that very subject, mind you on the other hand it might not.
Its probably easier to ask the old chat GPT what to do. Anywya I am off to write my new novel in about 15 mins, I have the idea just going to type the idea in and see what story it comes back with.
I will be a milionaire author within a week.
Ah yes, we are contemplating complaining to the organisers of the 'Brits' as our show failed to appear in the the list of nominees and winners, when of course by the very nature of our name we surely should have been in the running for something, even an invitation would have placated us.
Its also worth bearing in mind that we dont have any issues with names, or gender recognition, over time we have been called many things and thus far nothing has really caused us any issues....or maybe it has. No definitely not we have always been thick skinned and rarely complain.
Anyway call us what you like, but if you do see someone from the Brits, ask that what went wrong, but dont forget to address them correctly.
From the title this month, what a lovely choice to have. Mind you I could have put it the other way around (careful), Theatre, Swapping at parties could lead to Inheritance.
Sadly being Old Gits it's not what you read into it. In fact just to be clear when it's written like that we always read everything into it. No John will explain why he decided to help his elderly Aunt putting up a new fence. Chris & David will explain about their visit to the theatre (John went to sleep at this time).
Then we get onto different foods that we have missed from childhood and how do you manage to talk to everyone when you are at a dinner party.
There's plenty for everyone in this week's podcast.
Thats enjoy ta muchly
Yes if you have ever (who hasn't) been to a meeting called by someone usually with more time on their hands than you. They always start with introductions and saying something stupid or daft like, " there are now stupid questions, if it bothers you we are here to sort it and explain". I suppose that's the right thing to say, but when you have been on so many all you look forward to is the Danish or biscuits, lunch, and if you are overnight then the dinner and drinks in the bar.
Anyway, we Old Gits have been on many and even facilitated a few over our incredible number of years. We also have had time to reflect on them with the aid of some multi-coloured post-it notes, we even expressed our thoughts constructively on the studio wall, which we posted on Instagram which you may well have seen. Failing that I am sure this will provide our and possibly your thoughts on meetings.
Well, we Old Gits welcome you to another new year, or as Chris Criddle said, The grim reaper didn't call for another year. It was met with a mixed response with David stating that for Chris, and as his mum used to say 'it's being so cheerful that keeps him going'.
Well enough of this frivolity (or not). On this Podcast, we have a natter about new years resolutions, more importantly, though, we believe we are missing out on making an enormous amount of money by not posting homemade and specifically Old Git dance videos on Tik Tok. Not to be outdone by the 'young uns' and as you will find out 'we have a plan'. We will be producing the first, with the Old Gits performing the sand dance which our older...... sorry ancient listeners will know was originally perfected by WILSON, KEPPEL & BETTY. Chris has been charged with gaining the stage of one of the foremost theatres in the country, John is in charge of the sand which must mean David is in charge of himself. That's something to look forward to as well as asking which one of us will be Betty.
Yes as 3 'follicly' challenged Old Brits, we have been approached by a listener to the radio show, who as far as we know does have a 'bit' of hair but being younger (we obviously appeal to 'hairy' individuals as well as individuals who lost it years ago.
As for us, we lost it years ago and I am not talking about our hair. Anyway, as genuine 'agony uncles', we of course spread our wise words of wisdom which we would hope helped our listener, mind you we haven't heard from him since.
Listen to our response and see for yourself our thoughts on baldness
Oh yes, it is.
Our third year of producing a pantomime and as usual, it's not sugar-sweet, This year it's Cinderella, so you will at least know the storyline.
With an all-star cast, we find we are now the place for out-of-work actors who have failed to secure a pantomime 'gig' and are happy to tread the Old Gits or Brits stage for recognition.
If you like this we may well put the last two years up in January for you. They are Jack and the Beanstalk and Robins Wood.
I am sure that unless you have had a laughter bypass, this will put a smile on your face and maybe even a damp patch on your trousers. That is the reason we wear dark trousers or jeans.
Don't forget to cheer and hiss in the right places and I don't mean the top of a number 63 bus.
From John, Chris, and myself David, thanks for listening, and have a great Christmas and new year.
Now, this is the continuation of our Old Brits, however, it doesn't mean we are on TV it is merely us discussing the merits of TV, (mind you the fact we aren't on is disgusting) or maybe that is the reason we aren't on, frighten the children and pets.
Anyway hope you enjoy it and don't forget you can always join in just message us via social media just look for Old Gits or Old Brits, or email Oldgitsandhits@gmail.com
On our recent 'World Tour' we had a few issues with the properties we were staying in. Mind you we did have the economy in mind when we booked, however, we hadn't bargained for the places we got. One said great mountain views, only to find it was at the top of a mountain. Anway listen as we recount the different hotels we have stayed in over the years.
Ah yes, as we see Christmas in the distance, it's time we start looking at our eating habits. However not just yet as this time we talk about the way we enjoyed our Mediterranean diet whilst on the first leg of our world tour.
There are also a few other enlightening points on the tour here.
Wow, how about this then a small change of name. Mind you it is still us doing what we do well, (that is supposing we do anything well of course).
It was suggested to us, our listeners outside the UK do not understand the term 'Old Gits', so being as we do what most people don't we listened and decided to add another dimension and call ourselves Old Brits, now it is exactly what it says it is.
Here it is then thinking along the same lines as our friends in the USA we have looked at the difference between the Old Brits language and that used by our American friends. This should NOT be confused with the language Chris uses before the red light is on. That is a whole new game or challenge.
Ah yes, it is the first of our destinations on our world tour. We hopped across to Spain, and where else for 3 Old Gits but it just had to be Benidorm. For those that remember it is the home of the first package holiday in the 60's & 70's when everyone (or at least it seemed like it at the time) returned with a lady dressed in a flamenco outfit (well a doll really).
We were hopeful of finding our lost loves from the 60's and 70's holiday romance, sadly two of the Old Gits were too young to have done anything so brave as visit Spain then or if they did they were playing with sandcastles.
Anyway join us us we visit the resort that has become the destination for cheap drink and food as well as of course the all important sunshine for European holiday makers over the years. As we play our slant on this great resport and country.
Well as the summer of 2022 fades into the autumnal mist, we have managed yet another OB. This time we thought we would do what it seems more and more peo[ple of all ages are getting involved in, the game of bowls.
Before you start thinking too hard about it. Yes we are OLD but dont confuse us with Sir Francis Drake who famously played a game as the Spanish Armada were sighted in Plymouth Sound. See we even know history, just at our age its difficult to remember, now what was I saying.
Ah yes another sparkling introudction to the world of balls by our trainer who we were reliably informed is one of the top in the UK. The questions are. Did he have his work cut out teaching us , and were we any good in the end. Or did he just give up in disgust
Listen in and hear for yourself with the usual banter you have become to expect from the 3 of us.
Yes the title says it all, this is our special from The International Balloon Festival, mind you and sadly our feet stayed firmly on the ground. We were hoping to fly away in one of the ballons, however it left without us, in fact a lot of the ballons left with just the pilot as the weather was so hot in the afternoons it casued issues with flying. All of the above and more is discussed in the usual Old Git way right here.
Incidentally we may have kept or feet on the ground, it didnt stop us recounting tales of our flying exploits in the past.
Enjoy if you possibly can, failing that put it on when you need a little bit of sleep.
Well not strictly true that we flew the planes, just call is (creative license).
This was an offer too good to miss out on one of our listeners Damian invited us on board the old Italian fishing boat he is restoring, as I already said too good an offer to refuse especially given the weather was glorious for our trip South.
We had a superb morning onboard with a welcome of bacon sandwiches, what could be better? (I guess something like tofu if you are a veggie), mind you we dont worry about that, who doesnt enjoy the smell of bacon cooking as much as the bacon itself. Incidentally one of my sisters who is a veggie reckons she could still eat a bacon sandwich when she smells it cooking. I know exactly what she means!
Now as luck would have it as we were sat on Damians boat when an old steam train went past the top of the marina, it turns out it was on what is the oldest and busiest heritage line in Europe. David made the decision we should catch the train somewhere a decision he could well regret as he had to put his hand in his pocket to pay for the quite expensive trip to the seaside.
An excellent day out which we hope you will enjoy with the podcast, of ocurse if you have any ideas for a future show then please let us know.
Enjoy the trip. Toot Toot
This is a special OB of our day at Cotswold Airport in Wiltshire. It is the largest independantly owned airport in Europe, originally known as RAF Kemble it was where the Red Arrows were based from their start up until their move in March 1983.
If you pass the airport now you are more likley to see upwards of 50+ commercial jets such as 747 etc. For as well as being an operational airport it is also the home to Air Salvage International a company started over 25years ago and has developed into a hugely respected global business offering professional asset management services to banks, lessors, insurers and commercial airlines.
Join us on this fascinating show as we are guided around by the CEO and MD of Air Salvage International Mark Gregory.
Well its the summer season for us Old Gits, although of course other parts of the preverbial, may well be celebrating winter! All that really matters is we have our shorts and tshirts, all creased and probably way best their very best (some would say not unlike us Old Gits).
As its summer I am off outside to enjoy the sunshine, given that we don't see a lot of it in the UK. You just do what is easy for you that is grab a relaxing spot, something enjoyable in a glass and put headphones in or ear pods (see even Old Gits no the latest tech words).
More importantly enjoy this months podcast, which for those who are desperate to know will shortly change to a weekly podcast.
We realised that whilst we had produced our first outside broadcast since the pandemic hit, we had failed to incluude the show as a Podcast, even though we had managed to run it as part of our weekly radio shows.
Pin back your ears and be ready for our tour of London, (well all the FREE bits after all we are Old Gits and on a very tight budget, well maybe one or two of us are just tight!) For those listening around the world, London is the same as any Global capital city, over priced and over hyped and fortuately enough for us over here, otherwise we wouldn't have visited.
As we always say, enjoy the Podcast and remember, thanks for listening and spending part of your valuable time with 3 Old Gits, consider it part of your helping the aged in the community.
Dont forget to visit Old Git world at www.oldgitsandhits.co.uk
Have a good month
For those of you thinking the Old Gits have changed gender over the last month, or that we have just changed our names, Its NOT May the name its May the month.
Blimey when we have to start explaining the name of the Podcast its becoming a bit of an issue. Let me compund that thought somewhat, for as you know whilst this is the new Podcast for the month, it is in fact from our ramblings of April, and my goodness did we have some ramblings as you will no doubt find out by listening.
Oh incidentally we are shortly to be removing the name HITS, as of course we dont play any, mind you for those that have taken the time to vist our website as well (you do have staying power). OldGitsandhits.co.uk check out now what we do as a 'day job'.
Enjoy this months and of course any problems get in touch. We guarantee to answer all complaints within the year and others within 2 days.
As we venture into sping, or do we spring into spring, to be honest, as the original Old Gits we hardly spring anywhere but we do relish the fact we have made it to another spring and mop or brows everyday.
Anyway enjoy this months Podcast as much as enjoy life, blimey that is somewhat profound.
What a month for us, so many things for us to talk about, which we are sure you will find of interest.
As we always say its the best of the worst or you might just think the worst of the best of our weekly radio shows. A month that saw us appear in the Podcast radio Pod 20 and feature on their 'live' weekly you tube show. You can catch up its still there for all to see.
Anyway enough of my ramblings, get onto the real stuff and listen on.
What a strange month for all of us as we contemplate so many good things that during the last week of February became overshadowed by the news in general. Always mindful of the probems others may well be going through. As Old Gits we try and not dwell on the current affiars of the day, intending to not belittle what is happening but as we endeavour to be a 'chink of light' in what can be quite dark times.
Here it is then another 50 mins of 'wise words' or as we like to say, another load of made up nonsense. Which we dearly hope you find of interest and if we can help you raise a chuckle (specifically as at our age its very difficult to raise anything). Or indeed if something we say has been thought provoking then we would hope that you enjoyed it and find it entertaining.
Have a great month and enjoy Old Gits and Hits.
Well you know what they say, new year new you.
Two things,
1 Who are they who say?
2 We are after all Old Gits meaning very little is new with us anyway.
We are pleased to have survived not just another year but another Christmas and New year of celebrations, sadly though the celebrations and parties seem to have passed us by. Understandable, why on earth would you want 3 Old Gits sitting in the corner, helping themselves to your very expensive (£3.99) wine and salt and shake crisps.
Instead we busied ourselves by sitting in the Old Gits studio and rambling, much as we have done for the past, almost 7 years. The consequence of our ramblings and putting the world right are now here for you to experience, in our monthly mash up of our January radio shows.
Enjoy and remember by listening you are really helping keep Old Gits in the community.
Phew...........well we all made it, not only through the year that Covid tried to hit us all quite hard, but also through another festive period. Maybe slighly poorer as a conseqeunce but nevertheless we all made it through. Pat yourself on the back for your staying power.
I know what you are asking or maybe just thinking.......How did the Old Gits end the year? Well as you will find out we had quite and exciting final month of the year. We visited John and his drama groups rendition of Aladdin, 'oh yes we did'. We held the first of our OGHR's awards, thankfully we did actually win an award this time. I am sure you agree it was well deserved too. Finally we had the annual Old Gits Panto, which was slighly different this year David wrote it and decided it should be an adult panto, now before you get alarned at the content we assure you anything in the panto is innuendo so any disgusting thoughts YOU have will all be in YOUR mind.
As luck would have it this months Podcast includes the 3 items I oultined above so stop reading this and start listening. Oh and from us 3 Old Gits have a very Happy New Year.
Importantly stay safe and well. Oh and as usual thanks for dropping by.
Here we are then, together and we have made it to the last month of the year. What a year its been, certainly for us Old Gits, we have ploughed on regardless each week delivering our own immortal words of wisdom, otherwise know as 'spouting rubbish'. Some call it entertainment, we believe its more of a help the aged. When you listen to our shows or podcast you cant fail to understand we certainly need help or could it just be therapy?
Some people have said its a bit of a cheek calling it anything, as it might encourage us to continue. Our response to that is that we in fact between us have several cheeks, some of which we will be talking about in this months podcast, which also details our panto for this year. Well actually the panto we did last year was received so well we thought we would do another, alas that will not be available until next month, but at least you get to find out about it now. Arent you lucky.
Oh enjoy and of course stay safe and well.