Kids vs. Cats: Recent Episodes
Dave and Joe
Joe’s got kids. Dave’s got cats.
Adulting with friends, family and society can be tough in its simplicity. Joe and Dave chat through marriage, mayhem and mastication, finding balance in the culture and chaos viewed through the lens of life with kids and cats.
In their first installment for 2023 Joe and Dave chat up the utility of sinks, dogs owning guns and the messed up world of sports and athletes and the work that crosses to fit making the mountain a little less formidable. Be sure to hang in there until after the potty break when things really start to flow and we serve up delicious morsels of kids vs. cats. Make this your best year yet by SUBSCRIBING and SHARING and COMMENTING
Joe highly recommends having no Thanksgiving leftovers. Dave does not DIY. Cats and mice living together while Fathers-in-Law save the day!Comment. Subscribe. Follow.
Joe goes nuclear on coyotes, hairy wife legs and wood chopping child laborless horror stories. Dave gives the gift that keeps on giving the wrong information but boasts the biggest birthday wishes for Joe. Comment. Subscribe. Share. Please. Make it a beautiful day!
Joe and Dave hope you can swallow the whole episode as they chat up getting scammed in New Orleans, Pythons power-lunching on people, priests and nuns knocking out some porn and how to DIY a dog cone so that no one can lick their surgically removed genitals - as marriage teaches us all. Subscribe, comment, like, follow, share. Be blessed today y'all!
Joe and Dave double dip on birthday celebrations, face to face conversations, siblings sexing on edibles and all the energy it takes to guide teenagers into action. Subscribe, comment, follow, share, post and discuss amongst your peer group. More importantly, good friends and family matter - let 'em know you love 'em.
Joe takes us on a guided tour of Ithaca College and Cornell, leaving out all the juicy bits of his time spent there as a young man, because he was with his kids. Dave dives into his weekend exploits in Detroit taking in the Chris Rock concert, as well as showing us a window into proper inspection and how to appropriately watch a live event.
Joe's secret way to hide all of his rage gets uncovered by the dentist. Dave is unable, more so unwilling, to unionize fake dads. The auto tip is brought to the forefront in the era of shrinkflation. The boys get 20% better today when Dave sings a song to his French Cowboy partner!
SUBSCRIBE! SUBSCRIBE!
Joe goes full NOO YAWK with alum shout-out for Tim Locastro and the Ithaca Bombers while Dave licks his old man lax wounds. The two pre-elder white males discuss bias hotlines, and answer "who ya gonna call?" without mentioning the movie franchise everybody claps back with. What makes the best family photos? Listen to find out! If this episode hurts your feelings please call another human being. That's what humans do - talk to one another. I think Joe and Dave talked about other stuff...oh! Dave finally succumbs to Joe's incessant desire to be laughed at, which is nice and we answer the age old question 'breasts or thighs?' subscribe. comment. thrive.
Dave parks cars at the ESPYs, runs into a former model on Hollywood Blvd. who thought Joe was her daddy. The duo discuss family vacations, why all sports needs a new audio/video perspective pioneered by the PLL and Joe goes in circles on a rented jet ski. Where does the microphone go...oh if only we were both in the know. SUBSCRIBE!
Joe get his team disqualified from the Bocce Ball Championship, mostly because drunken wives are trying to let off some steam from the recession...we chat recession depression, drunk retorts, no-call-no-shows and why a good friend always has your back and bad friends are nowhere to be found and the greatest friend reminds you that when the "wife is the fan" aka "shit hits the fan," turn off the fan.
Joe texted his close friends to ask if they were watching the Jan06 hearings. They all responded with the activities they were doing instead, those life participating activities involving their family and their intellect. We discuss what kind of life we have if we, as a collective, do not Stop The Noise. The discussion is an impassioned, and worthy plea to pay attention and find the common ground we need as a nation to have secure bedrock for which to face our future. Dave just wanted to talk about how Top Gun was a remix of all the Star Wars movie tropes. Put a smile on your face and positively impact all those in your life.
Joe ventures into Manhattan with the family and manages not to lose his Father while struggling philosophically about our forefathers. Dave frames the decision-making ability of the household in a new light. We may have changed couples therapy forever!
hamilton #family #couplestherapy #decisions #whiteguys #foundingfathers #progressives #podcast
Joe and Dave catch up after East coast / West coast travels, anxiously awaiting Cabrera's 3000th hit. College is for suckers and nobody sucks more than Joe. Meanwhile Dave sucks the marrow from past life lessons and saves his own ass in a Starbucks robbery. Please show your compounding disinterest and subscribe.
Oscar the grouch gets fed by Joe, who throws away all of his childhood memories and leads our discussion into the grouchiness of the Oscars.
smithslapped #aquaman #batman #oscars #darthvader #bottlecaps #thecomedyexperiment
Joe and Dave solve the MLB impasse in one fell swoop! We chat birthdays, expectations and our new side gig - putting parents in the penalty box.
Joe and Dave chat this weeks attacks on Garbage, Comedians and Ukraine, cleaning up with the spirit of community and confidence in the future.
Joe and Dave welcome their first guest! Matt joins us to chat Superbowl, Daddy's girl, Winter Olympics, and reminisce about the redux of our by-gone era. Joe tangles with another restaurant owner and sells out his wife at the same time. We learn about the power of solar while going shoeless long enough to relax, but not too long.
COVID cancels Dave's travel plans. Joe dumps on his dog and gets shunned by his cat for serving real chicken. The Winter Olympics is happening, apparently, so Joe takes Dave to ski school. Only listen to this if you are in quarantine.
Apple logo on the Moon with a cursor pointed to iMars where Elon Musk now exists. Yes. Cat makeup line upping your online feline. Yes. Most famous Han Solo quote. I Know...what you think, but it's not. Retiring from the NFL. Shouldn't we all. Put your earbuds in and listen to Joe and Dave shovel two two twenty two worth of it at ya! Be blessed y'all!
Joe’s eyebrows have the power to make heads roll, or do they? COVID quarantine hits home, high beams and barns are drive by targets for our old man conversation.
Joe and Dave delve into the holiday aftermath discussing blind dates, streaming services and the gifts that keep on giving, all the while reminding ourselves that we are not alone climbing this mountain.
Joe is watering it down this week with made-for-mom ramen and a chowder competition. We ramble and roll into and out of the holiday spirit with baited breath, awaiting the sock patrol to come to town. Come get some insta!
Dave's grandma bails on making the traditional family feast for drive-thru pick up. Joe doesn't not believe the war on Christmas is real. Both of us burn candles at both ends of the intersection of art, family, gifts and hilarity.
Joe and Dave cat fight about vacations, neighbors and Yankee legends. Dolphins get a bad wrap and will do anything for a fish. Doing a podcast is like riding a bike, there's a lot of falling and crying, but you just gotta get up and move forward!
Hey everybody! We start chatting about the pressure of tires but get into a serious chat about the pressure of parenthood, and how a parent deals with a school shooting. Joe has firsthand experience. Leading off with laughs, finishing strong with love, we hope you enjoy our chat bookended by Christmas, Mariano Rivera sightings and art teachers pawning their students art back to the parents.
This is just a half hour of recorded waves on a beach in the Bahamas because Joe doesn’t travel with a laptop. Relax and enjoy, it may be our best epsiode yet.
Joe and Dave play good "cop-face" / bad "cop-face" as they chime in about the petting zoo that is marriage, airline travel & Grateful Dead crowds.
Fall clean up is in full swing at the Joe and Dave households. We haven't recorded in too long which becomes painfully obvious as Joe peels the onion of knowledge and wisdom while Dave brain-farts music without words. Whether kids or cats are your jam, we all live in a corporate world, albeit neighborly in every way.
Joe and Dave deep dive into vacations, getting older, and being amazed by the beauty that surrounds us…mostly amazed if not, at times, confounded. #UpTop for fudge, tacos, wahoos, dramamine, airplane mode and knowing your birthday gifts🤠
Joe and Dave check in about the new/old side hustles, being awesome uncles, rope course zip-lining, lamborghini driving, signing waivers, the NFL Network and maybe a theoretical postulate about the ethereal essence of corn.
Joe can't bridge the gap to pull off being a cool uncle, but Dave leads him back to awesomeness!
Dave and Joe discuss the old school tradition of dropping your kid off at another child's birthday party, placenta prepositions, paying for your previous popularity, and propose a bunch of other random nonsense.
Dave describes the ghostly encounter in Knoxville, TN. Joe gets his one indulgence eaten out from under him. Insulin jars and retired parents round out the episode from the beyond!
Joe and Dave talk rings around the absurdity, athleticism and all-around not-made-for-TV sports that have been deemed Olympic worthy, all the while showcasing how uninformed and out of touch they really are. This is a medal-worthy listen if you've got the mettle to listen to us meddle in all glory that is going on in Japan.
Old school, new school, mean school - Joe blows it up and Dave cools it down at the pool all while vectoring aliens to your location.
Joe and Dave chow down on grandma's, groceries and making motorcycles go! Racism and Cancel Culture are at the Hart of the discussion, which we take in small, chewable bites entertaining you with what is leftover.
Dave and Joe catch up post-holiday and dive in to the latest and greatest regarding motorcycles, waverunners and a gaggle of "Karens" trying to control their spawn. This episode is hot! Especially if you're too cool for school.
Joe and Dave discuss the current state of "mask-splaining" and the emasculation of bocce league mayors, neighbors appearing out of nowhere and ruining a quiet Sunday morning. All the way getting nowhere near the truth except as we see it. Get outside and do something - BUT - subscribe and take us with you.
Joe and Dave have a heavenly discussion about golf, veterinarians and text messages. They challenge each other to a "don't answer your wife with a question" duel. Let the games begin! Subscribe! Comment! Review!
The Vax Snob and Dave brush up on their motor skills while chatting up all things fishy, faithful and fun!
Subscribe! Review! Be a Guest if you listen to the whole thing...
Vaccines, hot dogs, pizza, moms, workouts, robots and wax figures. Dave comes clean about not listening and Joe doesn’t get to watch baseball but trademarks his own new All-American past-time. Yankees were up 2-1 over the Tigers at the time of this recording.
Joe and Dave discuss multi-factor authentication, Tiger Woods, chasing lasers and needing a degree to get into the Michigan Militia (should this be capitalized?) We spend time chatting up stuff about parents and wondering if we're too old to have attainable goals and what that even means because we're old enough to have already accomplished those goals if we put forth any effort.
Joe and Dave rush into solutions for education, infrastructure and FB marketplace all while not playing golf.
Joe and Dave mansplain the slippery slopes...of skiing, lovemaking, cat boxes, Catholics and Peloton cults! What will you wager on?
Joe and Dave mitten up for the slopes and scope of the new world order returning while finding inspiration in the most likely of places.
Joe and Dave shoot the s$%t about Joe’s irresponsibility and disbelief of Christmas magic. Both grateful for their gifts even if they made no sense, they discuss the lack of evidence that a new strain of revolution is a good idea.
may the Christmas phoenix burn bright, your allies be pardoned and your smile bring joy to the world! Be blessed y’all!
Joe and Dave tally up their Thanksgiving kills, discuss decorations, trade barbs on traitors, TV, technology and the general apathy of historical consequences. But for real Joe owes Dave an ice cold Coca-Cola for a jinx y'all. Listen up and tell Joe to pay up!
Joe's mailing out his meatballs for his family, Trump pardons more turkeys, The Mandalorian causes menopausal turrets in Dave's household and we wonder why everybody wants to be rated. (please subscribe) If you stay for the ending you may end up be grateful for what Joe views as a dark turn to the holiday. Be blessed everybody!
Dave and Joe breakdown this day in history, sort of. Not really but we do discuss the polls, votes and yard signs. Tina makes a guest appearance on her way to Kroger...because she is the best wife ever gathering election night grub. Cast your vote by subscribing to the podcast!
Joe and Dave delve into razor blade filled candy and how kids have it so easy these days. Dave gets a dose of Joe’s Halloween havoc and the pandemic’s panic while both entertained themselves with Borat and the World Series. VOTE! Make a plan and take action!
Dealing with the dynamics of an end of lease oil change Dave and Joe discuss ancient rituals, ancient cats, baseball, commercials and an extravaganza of garbage making Dave realize he doesn’t always think ideas through. Joe is stunned by Slotomania!
Joe’s 100% white-meatness shines bright while Dave eats his feelings discussing family pitfalls, career pratfalls and why you don’t get to be a New Yorker by osmosis. We throw down about various forms of meat, militias, mavens and madmen.
Joe and Dave take in some NFL football while chatting up the Second Coming, Debate details and why Joe is hotboxing in his basement when Dave has free reign of his domain. #EightYearsForPrezDave
Joe does a handstand on his soapbox while Dave eggs him on. Are the lies we tell ourself worse than the lies we are delivered on a silver platter?
A quick catch up on a day We Will Never Forget. Joe and Dave recap the week, the day and the eve with a fear of glitter, Amazon neighbors, upcoming holidays and all the other worthy dinner conversation to be had right now.
Joe rehashes the #familybet, birthdays are back in the mix as we learn that we are not alone - listening to what our wives want for their birthdays is an art and a science. COVID creep into sports, long lines to rent a car, Amazon gives away free stuff and we circle back to the how and why of what it all means.
Joe drops his logistics knowledge about his kids return to school while denying ourselves the red pill and wondering why no one smiles around horses. We come to an agreement on when birthdays end though disagreeing on when and how and who celebrates them. Dave takes a swing at deescalation with his wife and we remind everybody to get off your wall and take a big #VapeGulp for the latest Dave and Joe chatter!
Dave and Joe have been doing something for a whole year! Thank you for joining us on this journey! In this episode Dave destroys a child’s dream while he and Joe try to make sense of all the uncertainty regarding vacations, The Post Office, Mansion living gun-owners speaking to the public and how LA has been injected into Detroit’s veins. A year of tech unsavviness, humility and gratefulness for our lives - we appreciate the ears listening in on our conversations. Be blessed y’all!
Joe and Dave catch up from a powerless week in the cul-de-sac to discuss Snake Oil, Monopolies, Conspiracies and Adopting Teenagers. Not Necessarily in that order but the order of magnitude for humanity is tremendous. Learn to LetGo...
Joe gushes over Jetermania while his hamster wheel life spins out of control. Dave empathizes as immortality takes its toll on the household.
Eye Roll Joe and Cul de Sac Dave put Fox News on Onion alert and look to FindSomethingNew.org in their attempt to Dad Joke their way out of discussing baseball, politics, sneakers and contact-tracing.
Dave chimes in about a C-Span,The Hill TV, segment with Steve Clemons and Alex Azar, the Secretary of Health and Human Services guaranteeing you will be paying for your own survival by yourself. We golfed and reminisced about the one and only Drew Barrymore as well decided on the most appropriate name for the Washington NFL team. Did Joe officially concede that the feline familia is the best familia a boy could dream of?
Joe and Dave delve into addiction, religion, renaming racism, golf and finding a storm on Jupiter. Way to go Clyde!
Joe waxes poetic about the pain society is currently being infused with as Dave discovers a way to train ourselves into happiness with our phones. Blow stuff up and wear a mask as we proclaim our independence from tyranny in this holidud special.
Joe introduces Dave to Karen. Hoax communication continues to run rampant. Joe proves he knows as much about sand as he does about what Tractor Supply sells. Dave sounds off about pro sports audio as he and Joe discuss Fight Island and how to get the most out of pro sports audio and video. The lesson for today - the camera and microphone are ALWAYS on.
Joe gets his right to bear arms and Dave uses it as ammunition to complain about the dentist waiting room and his dad dumping his childhood stuff off. Vintage vs. Old and what is sentimentality looks like in a galaxy far, far away without trains and baseball cards. Note that actions speak louder than words. BLACK LIVES MATTER. Do not be complicit in your silence.
Cover your face Hoosier bro! Joe and Dave discuss PROjecting into the future. Dave babbles about tyranny and responsibility. Joe wrangles in Dave about wifely nightmares while his own mind wanders to bigger and better things...another day in the life of feline and human families😷
The Michigan Militia can shoot COVID-19 out of the air. Joe is the guy that knows city ordinances and drops them on unsuspecting people trying to do their job. Dave has added hairstylist to his resume and may end up in drive-thru confession unless Joe can get some yeast shipped overnight!
Joe put on some sweet sounds from the Seventies to escape the stay-at-home harassment from his actual family. Dave just needs a bike ride to feel better but his wife has taken away that privilege as they find a way for food to overcome fear.
We are soothsayers, gatherers, and wrong way down the one way aisle, yeast explaining, VR game watchers and we're making the best of it.
Listen to the a playlist from the year you were 6 years old. Do it. After you listen to us.
Dave celebrates a marital triumph by being mean to political types while Joe trumpets the ability of us all to give a crap and Aliens, religion and depression era behaviors teach us about ourselves today.
Dave reminisces about the USNS Comfort and his seeming inability to give comfort when needed, meanwhile Joe needs nothing more than toasted sesame seed oil to survive.
Joe gives Dave the rundown about the latest and greatest, while Dave takes 2 steps back. Both gain some perspective.
Joe and Dave get caught up in the Fake Commercial cycle. SNL needs to put out a statement of which commercials are their parodies and which are Fake Commercials (but actually real) Be blessed and make it a beautiful day!
Dave and Joe share success tips for your new found work environment, home. What's it like schooling kids, paying attention to your family and having no personal time?
- Wake up and keep the routine - coffee, shower, dress for success
- Have a work cut-off time
- Don't add your tone of voice to emails and IMs
- Create a work-only space
- Get in motion
Joe and Dave find some levity in some s#*t that just got real. Life choices may have caused a Butterfly Effect on the Universe. The Republicans found a solution for Social Security. Hoarders are gonna get their just desserts and consume them. Dave is oblivious and Joe is supporting local. Both are still a bit loco.
Be Blessed and make it a beautiful day, covidly speaking.
Dave gives Joe baseball flashbacks. Apple pen isn't a pen. Exploding Kittens all over your face. Dave doesn't get how show notes work. The death of the Mall in America. We find the perfect solution for cheating in baseball, stopping texting drivers, barren retail space all while contributing to our own obsolescence. Subscribe. Tell a friend. Share with an enemy.
Joe is about to attend his 3rd Daddy-Daughter dance. About to tailgate and wallflower it with all the other nerd dads. Dave is quite comfortable dancing with his cats even though they pout when they don't get what they want...wait...isn't that a Kids thing? Cat owners borrow kids to go sledding. If you are going to Work From Home you must have a regimen, based on Daytime TV programming. The future of technology and fruit. Does a frog deserve it's own Instagram?
Joe and Dave discuss things that happened in the past. Movies are involved.
Dave will not allow Joe a laughable moment. Some things are not allowed on the chopping block and some days you realize you started putting your shoes on like Mr. Rogers.
Shoe horns and "flippies" fight it out against "slides" and corporate America.
Joe bridges gaps with his parenting pie of psychology while Dave does NOT burn down the house.
Joe and Dave revert back to the time honored tradition of discussing Superbowl ads and outcomes. When are we going to quit chewing and driving?Why do kids stand in front of the TV? Do we need reminders to take our vitamins? Are man massages and trucker hats bad business?
Joe and Dave discuss the particulars of #2. It's various elements and locations to be found. The best and worst "el baño" at home and abroad. Old jokes, new tricks and eternal agreement that cats are better than kids...
Joe fills Dave in about his European adventure, travel agents, 2 year olds, electronic music fetishes, massage chairs in economy class and Davos fly-bys all while full well knowing cats are better than kids and providing an unconvincing argument that Austria is a real country.
Joe chimes in from a place called Austria in a teaser to an upcoming travel episode.
Walter ruins everything but not before we discuss why Austria is just a place in the middle of stuff and how much kids aren't missed when parents are on vacation. Always eat your oatmeal and get an annual skin cancer check.
Party on the slopes everybody!
Hot Mic Alert!*
Dave schools Joe on The Rise of Skywalker. Joe schools Dave on Politics. Dave continues to work on his listening skills - an early silence foreshadows the coming darkness as both agree to a new strategy for countries to war against each other and everyone will enjoy the sweet sweet buzz of what Joe wants to be reincarnated as once Skynet takes over.
Join us on this tour of consciousness, the Force, robots, real Olympic stakes and whatever other kind of b.s. gets kicked around by these 2 jamokes.
*The iPhone was not built to handle being overcome with emotions. All future Kids vs. Cats recordings will reflect solid technical prowess. We appreciate you listening in!
Since Dave can’t ruin Star Wars for Joe he takes advantage of Joe’s streaming delay and predicts the future in this very special NFL episode as the Texans take on the Chiefs.
Joe and Dave catch up to start 2020 with their feline and actual families, chatting up winter sports, The GOAT Tom Brady and why dads don’t go to movies with teenagers. Dave has a Star Wars revelation locked and loaded for a future episode.
Joe went to see Craig Robinson. A lively discussion ensues. Also of note Joe and Dave have no idea how to using anything more technical than a spoon.
An extremely poorly edited and under-produced discussion between Joe and Dave may offer some insight into the future of conversations between the feline family having Dave and family family having Joe. Thanks for hanging out with us!
A preview of the evolution of their lives and friendship from the POV of caring for Kids and Cats.