From Betrayal To Breakthrough

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Guest: Geoff Steurer, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Betrayal Trauma Specialist, and Co-Host of From Crisis to Connection

Episode Summary: In this powerful conversation, Dr. Debi Silber sits down with Geoff Steurer to unpack the deeply layered process of rebuilding trust after betrayal. Whether the betrayal came from infidelity, emotional disconnection, or broken agreements, Geoff explains how couples can not only survive the fallout—but create a completely new, stronger relationship. Drawing from his personal marriage journey and 20+ years of professional experience, Geoff shares the turning point that transformed his own relationship and the essential roadmap he uses with couples navigating the aftermath of betrayal.

You’ll hear how full disclosure is not just a confessional but a structured, trauma-informed process that sets the stage for healing. You’ll also learn why most traditional couples counseling fails betrayed couples, what real accountability looks like, and how the betrayer can become a source of strength instead of pain.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone considering rebuilding after betrayal—or helping others do the same.

🔑 Topics We Cover:

Geoff’s personal betrayal recovery journey—and how it shaped his work
The critical “wake-up call” moment that changed everything in his marriage
Why many therapists unintentionally retraumatize betrayed partners
The anatomy of a successful full disclosure process
What betrayed partners really need to heal
How betrayers can move from shame into strength and empathy
Why traditional “relationship advice” (like more date nights) is premature
The emotional cost of “trickle truth” and how to stop it
What real intimacy looks like after betrayal
Why healing timelines vary—and what a realistic journey looks like
The role of courage in rebuilding a relationship from the ground up

💬 Memorable Quotes:

“The most compassionate thing a betrayer can do is restore choice to the betrayed partner by telling the full truth.”

“You can’t rebuild on sand. If you’re rebuilding, build it on something rock-solid—even if that means facing hard truths first.”

“When couples do this work courageously, they often end up with a relationship they never imagined possible.”

“Healing after betrayal isn’t about going back. It’s about co-creating something completely new—with mutual accountability, safety, and truth.”

🛠️ Resources Mentioned:

From Crisis to Connection Podcast — Geoff’s show and site with his wife, Jody, offering a roadmap for couples healing from betrayal
PBT Rebuild Program — For those who’ve betrayed and want to do the deep work of repair and transformation
PBT Reclaim Program – For the betrayed who is ready to heal physically, mentally and emotionally

💡 Takeaway:

Rebuilding after betrayal is hard—but not impossible. With honesty, accountability, empathy, and the right roadmap, couples can move beyond survival and into transformation. It starts with courageous truth-telling and continues with consistent, individual growth that supports the relationship over time.

🎧 Listen + Subscribe:

Don’t miss this episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough wherever you get your podcasts.

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In this powerful, eye-opening masterclass, Dr. Debi Silber explores the hidden ways unhealed betrayal trauma disrupts workplace performance, leadership, team dynamics, and personal well-being. From brain fog and burnout to disengagement and chronic stress, betrayal at work and in life silently chips away at trust, productivity, and engagement—until it's named and healed. You’ll also hear from several Certified PBT® Coaches and Practitioners sharing real-world examples, healing insights, and how the PBT Method transforms both individuals and organizations.

What You’ll Learn:

Why betrayal is a unique form of trauma that requires a specific kind of healing
The 3 groundbreaking discoveries from Dr. Debi's PhD study on betrayal
How betrayal shows up at work (emotional volatility, imposter syndrome, absenteeism, inability to trust or delegate)
Post Betrayal Syndrome®: Symptoms and statistics from 100,000+ survey respondents
How unhealed betrayal is misdiagnosed as stress, burnout, leadership breakdown, or low morale
The 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough—and how to move through them
Why time and even new relationships don’t heal betrayal—only deliberate action does

Featuring Guest Experts & PBT Coaches:

Coach Peggy: On how betrayal left her emotionally overwhelmed and unable to work—leading to months of missed work and HR intervention
Coach Elizabeth: On the nervous system’s response to trauma, chronic pain, addiction, and how yoga and somatic work support healing
Coach Nari: On self-awareness, trauma’s impact on leadership and decision-making, and how healing restores personal power
Practitioner Jay: On the workplace costs of unhealed betrayal, from policy gaps to team dysfunction, shame, and numbing behaviors
Coach Sunrise (Middle East): On cultural barriers to addressing betrayal, the fast-track to "getting over it," and the cost of skipping healing
Coach Ingrid (Kenya): On how betrayal trauma is perceived in Kenya, small business impacts, and cultural silence around betrayal
Coach Tran (Vietnam): On the hidden emotional toll betrayal takes in professional settings where it’s often ignored

Key Stats Shared:

84% struggle with trust after betrayal
71% experience sleep issues
60% can’t concentrate
78% constantly revisit the betrayal
81% feel a loss of personal power
45% have digestive issues related to betrayal

Programs Mentioned:

Reclaim Essentials: Self-paced program with milestone tracking — $497
Reclaim Momentum: Includes group coaching, live classes, Q&A with Dr. Debi — $997
Transform: All of Momentum + 3 private sessions with Dr. Debi + small group Transform sessions — $5,000

Resources:

Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome® Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz
Join the Reclaim Program: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim
Learn about bringing PBT® to your workplace: https://thepbtinstitute.com/corporate/

Final Takeaway: You don’t leave your wounds at the door. Betrayal trauma—personal or professional—will show up in your leadership, performance, team relationships, and health unless you deliberately heal it. The good news? With the right roadmap, healing is not just possible—it’s predictable.

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Have you ever found yourself in the same toxic patterns—different people, but the same pain? In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Dr. Debi sits down with Keyleigh Clarkson, a therapist who brings both professional training and lived experience to the conversation around toxic relationships, trauma, and healing.

From growing up in an unstable household to dating emotionally unavailable partners, Keyleigh shares how she broke the cycle of pain and reclaimed her self-worth. Together, Debi and Keyleigh explore the psychological roots of toxic relationship patterns, the impact of trauma on the nervous system, and—most importantly—how we can begin to heal.

🔑 Key Topics Covered:

Keyleigh’s personal story of repeating toxic patterns from childhood to adulthood
What is Repetitive Compulsion? Understanding why we’re drawn to what hurts us
How trauma impacts the nervous system—and what that means for healing
Self-worth vs. self-love: Why “self-like” may be the missing step
The danger of outsourcing your worth—and how to bring it back home
Small daily promises as a powerful tool to rebuild self-trust
Recognizing when you’re stuck: repeating patterns in love, friendship, and work
Practical nervous system regulation tools (like the Butterfly Hug and 4-Square Breathing)
Signs you’re healing: subtle shifts that signal growth and transformation
Why the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other one

💬 Memorable Quotes:

“We often date the same person in a different body. That’s a sign we’re stuck in a familiar pain.” – Keyleigh Clarkson

“Healing doesn’t start with affirmations—it starts with safety in the body.” – Keyleigh Clarkson

“There is nothing wrong with you. People’s behavior says more about them than it ever did about you.” – Keyleigh Clarkson

“If we’re outsourcing our self-worth, it can be taken as quickly as it’s given.” – Keyleigh Clarkson

“Self-like comes before self-love.” – Keyleigh Clarkson

🛠️ Practical Tools Mentioned:

Butterfly Hug (crossed thumbs, alternating taps on chest or knees)
4-Square Breathing (inhale, hold, exhale, hold for 4 seconds each)
Daily self-promises (e.g., reading two pages, taking a walk, journaling)
Self-awareness exercises: Track recurring patterns in relationships
Micro meditations: Just 1 minute of stillness to begin retraining your nervous system

💡 Final Takeaway:

You are not broken. If you’ve found yourself in toxic relationships, it doesn’t mean you’re unworthy—it means you’re operating from learned survival patterns. Healing is possible, and it starts with reclaiming your self-trust, regulating your nervous system, and building a gentle, compassionate relationship with yourself—one promise at a time.

Connect with Keyleigh Clarkson:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamkeyleighclarkson/

Connect with The PBT Institute: The Reclaim Program – For the betrayed – Learn more here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/  

👏 Leave a Review

If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear this. Healing from betrayal starts with understanding—and this episode is packed with insight that can make a real difference.

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In this powerful and heart-expanding conversation, I’m joined by my new friend, Debbie Lynn Grace—intuitive mentor, energy expert, and founder of Sensitive Living Magazine. We dive deep into what it truly means to be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), how to embrace this trait as a superpower, and how to access higher vibrational states to move through life with greater clarity, peace, and purpose.

Whether you’ve been told you're “too sensitive,” feel easily drained by your environment, or just sense that you're wired differently, this episode will help you see those traits not as liabilities—but as divine gifts.

We also explore how trauma, especially betrayal, impacts highly sensitive people more intensely, and what it looks like to rise from that pain into the most empowered version of yourself.

🧠 What You’ll Learn:

The science and energetics behind Highly Sensitive People (HSPs)
Why sensitivity is not a weakness—but a gift for healing and intuitive insight
The difference between ego path vs. soul path (and why most of us are stuck in ego mode)
How to recognize your vibrational range—and live above your upper limit
Four ways your higher guidance communicates with you (and how to stop ignoring it)
How to shift from stuck, fear-based patterns into aligned, soul-level action
What high-vibration living really means—and why it's the key to healing after betrayal

💡 Key Quotes:

“If you took away my sensitivity, you'd have to take away my work.” – Debbie Lynn Grace “Highly sensitive people don’t just hear what’s said… they hear what’s not being said.” – Dr. Debi Silber “Living at a high vibration isn’t a someday idea. It’s available to you now. You just have to choose it.”

🔗 Resources & Links:

🌐 Learn more about Debbie Lynn Grace: https://debbielynngrace.com
📖 Subscribe to Sensitive Living Magazine: https://www.sensitivelivingmagazine.com
🎓 Explore healing after betrayal: https://thepbtinstitute.com

🧭 Final Takeaway:

Being highly sensitive isn’t something to overcome—it’s something to honor. In a world that often demands resilience over receptivity, sensitivity is your soul’s way of guiding you toward deeper healing, connection, and truth. When you stop operating from fear and ego, and start listening to your higher self—you step into the frequency of who you were always meant to be.

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In this powerful episode, I sit down with Samantha Boss—divorce coach, parenting advocate, and truth-teller behind “The Ugly Truth of Divorce.” Samantha shares her raw, unfiltered journey through a high-conflict divorce, co-parenting with a diagnosed narcissist, and the long road to healing—not just for herself, but for her children.

We talk about the parts of divorce no one prepares you for: the manipulation, the guilt, the courtroom chaos, and the silent trauma children absorb when parents are too overwhelmed to see the signs.

This episode isn’t just for those navigating divorce. It’s a masterclass in emotional regulation, boundary-setting, and reclaiming your parenting power in the face of chaos. If you're struggling to co-parent with someone toxic—or you feel like you’ve lost yourself trying to keep the peace—this conversation will bring clarity, courage, and hope.

🔑 What We Cover:

Samantha’s whirlwind 60-day engagement and the red flags she missed
The reality of divorcing a narcissist and enduring 300+ court appearances
The impact of parental alienation—and how she didn’t see it coming
Why emotional dysregulation sabotaged her parenting (and how she changed it)
The role of play therapy in uncovering her children’s silent suffering
How trying to “look like the good parent” backfired
The turning point when a child psychologist gave her the wake-up call she needed
Why trying to force co-parenting isn’t always the right answer
How giving her children choices created emotional safety and empowerment
What her children taught her about healing, boundaries, and finding their voice
Why neutrality—not bashing the ex—is critical for your child’s long-term wellbeing
Creating new traditions post-divorce and redefining “family” on your own terms
Long-term parenting: how to think beyond court dates and into your child’s future

🛠️ Practical Tools and Takeaways:

Stay neutral or say nothing when it comes to your co-parent. Let your kids form their own opinions.
Emotional regulation is your superpower—your children mirror what you model.
Prioritize your healing before trying to fix your kids. Your transformation leads theirs.
Empower kids with choices—big or small. It restores their sense of control.
Focus on creating a home that feels safe, consistent, and peaceful.
Don't force co-parenting with someone incapable of respectful collaboration. Parallel parenting may be safer.
Think long-term. Your relationship with your child goes far beyond age 18.

💬 Memorable Quotes:

“I was promoting someone who was tearing me down behind closed doors. And the kids felt the disconnect.”

“I didn’t realize I was teaching my children to people-please a bully.”

“Once I emotionally regulated, everything changed. My kids followed my lead—because I was finally leading.”

👥 About Our Guest: Samantha Boss

Samantha Boss is the founder of The Ugly Truth of Divorce, where she supports parents navigating high-conflict co-parenting, parental alienation, and post-divorce recovery. After surviving a decade of court battles and emotional warfare, she now helps others reclaim peace and power in their parenting.

Learn more about Samantha at https://samanthaboss.com

Resources: The 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim

The Rebuild Program (For those who betrayed and want to heal): https://thepbtinstitute.com/rebuild/ 

The PBT Institute Community (Join the healing conversation): https://thepbtinstitute.com  

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"A Message to the Betrayer: If You've Been Given Another Chance, Honor It"

In today’s powerful episode, Dr. Debi speaks directly to the betrayer — the one who caused the hurt — offering a clear and compassionate roadmap for how to truly rebuild trust after betrayal.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

Why Curiosity Beats Defensiveness: Instead of reacting defensively, betrayers must get curious. How could you have said or done things differently? How can you communicate feelings without causing further harm?
The Precious Gift of a Second Chance: When a betrayed partner is willing to cautiously hand their trust back to you, it's the most precious gift you could receive. If you have no intention of honoring it, Dr. Debi strongly urges you to let them go — they deserve healing, not more trauma.
The Non-Negotiable Rule for Living and Healing: Dr. Debi shares her simple but life-changing rule: If it hurts another living being—don’t do it. Period.
How to Handle Shame While Supporting Your Partner: Shame must be dealt with—but not at the expense of the betrayed’s healing process. Timing is everything.
The Right Way to Rebuild Safety and Trust:
Proactively show that you see what you never saw before.
Bring up the hard conversations—not just when it’s convenient for you, but when the betrayed needs it.
Consistently demonstrate that you are willing to do the hard work.
What Betrayal Actually Does to a Person: Dr. Debi vividly describes the profound emotional, psychological, and even physical shattering that betrayal causes. Rebuilding takes seriousness, consistency, and deep respect.
A Powerful Visualization Exercise: If you struggle to see the depth of the pain you've caused, imagine your own beloved child being betrayed. What would you want for them? What would you demand from the one who hurt them? Now act accordingly.
For the Betrayed: A final, heartfelt reminder:

"Even though it happened to you, it’s not about you." Betrayers often act out of their own unhealed wounds. Their choices do not define your worth.

Key Takeaways:

✅ Healing is possible—but only with total honesty and commitment. ✅ If you have no intention to honor your second chance, the kindest thing you can do is walk away. ✅ Betrayal affects not just the partner but the entire family, including children—handle it with the gravity it deserves. ✅ Rebuilding after betrayal is hard work, but it leads to transformation you never thought possible.

Resources Mentioned:

The Rebuild Program – For betrayers ready to change: Learn More Here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/rebuild/
The Reclaim Program – For the betrayed: Learn more here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/
Episode 418 – Talking to Kids About Betrayal: [Listen Here]

Final Words from Dr. Debi:

Betrayal shatters everything—but with the right help, support, and deep commitment, it can also lay the foundation for something stronger than ever before. You’re not alone, and you’re not beyond redemption—but you have to do the work.

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Trigger Warning:

This episode contains sensitive material about abuse, incest, and generational trauma. Please listen or watch at your own pace, and practice self-care as needed.

Episode Overview:

In this powerful and vulnerable conversation, Dr. Debi Silber speaks with author and advocate Babs Walters about the lifelong impact of childhood abuse, the burden of keeping family secrets, and what it truly takes to heal. Babs courageously shares her deeply personal story, tracing the effects of trauma through her family history—and how she finally found freedom and purpose in breaking the silence.

Key Themes Covered:

The Legacy of Abuse and Secret-Keeping Babs recounts her childhood experience of incest, the secrecy that surrounded it, and the emotional and physical toll it took on her body and relationships.
Dissociation and Survival As a child, Babs survived by dissociating and escaping into books—one of the few places she found hope and happy endings.
From Silence to Advocacy Her journey from secrecy to speaking out includes therapy, education, and eventually, writing her memoir. Her mission: to make sure no other child feels as isolated as she did.
Family Secrets and Their Lasting Damage The harm isn't just in the trauma—it’s in the demand for secrecy. Babs explains how family systems force silence, and how that pressure keeps generations stuck.
Generational Trauma and Its Roots A shocking story about her father’s childhood reveals the hidden trauma that shaped his inability to love, empathize, or protect his children.
The Healing Journey With over 45 years of therapy, programs like est (Erhard Seminars Training), and a commitment to self-growth, Babs shows that deep healing is possible—even decades later.
Breaking the Chain Despite being criticized by her children for her own “extreme” parenting, Babs is proud to have disrupted the abusive legacy passed down through generations.

Her Memoir and Mission:

Babs made a vow as a child to someday write a book that would let another little girl know she wasn’t alone. That book is finally here—along with her advocacy work, speaking, and involvement with Brave Voices, a Library of Congress archive preserving survivor stories.

Notable Quotes:

“I made a promise to myself that one day I’d write a book so some other little girl wouldn’t feel all alone.” “The pain was bad—but my self-talk may have been worse.” “Healing isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. And it’s never too late to begin.”

Resources & Where to Find Babs:

Website: https://babswalters.com
Instagram: @babswalters

Resources & Links

Learn more about the PBT Institute
What Stage Are You In? Find out here
Want to bring the 5 Stages of Healing into your organization? Contact us about corporate programs
Explore our flagship program Reclaim
Become a Certified PBT® Coach/Practitioner

Final Thoughts from Dr. Debi:

Healing from trauma takes courage, community, and compassion. Babs is living proof that no matter your age or how long it’s been, healing is possible—and your story has power. If you’re keeping a family secret, know this: you’re not alone, and you don’t have to carry it forever.

Be sure to share this episode with someone who may need to hear it. And as always, take what serves you, leave what doesn’t, and treat yourself with gentleness as you heal.

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In this deeply personal and powerful episode, Dr. Debi Silber reflects on the significance of Episode 418 and explores one of the most emotionally charged topics in betrayal recovery: how your children are affected by betrayal—and what to consider when deciding whether to share your story with them.

Whether your kids were young when the betrayal happened or are now grown and sensing something was never quite right, this episode offers guidance, compassion, and clarity for navigating this complex family dynamic.

🔍 In This Episode, You'll Learn:

Why kids often sense something is wrong, even if they don’t know the details
The emotional cost of keeping betrayal hidden from children
What happens when they find out from someone else—and how that can feel like a second betrayal
How to check your intentions before opening up
Why the energy in your home matters—and what your kids may be picking up
The difference between sharing out of pain vs. sharing as part of your healing journey
What it looks like when a betrayer is truly rebuilding—and how that can impact your kids
Dr. Debi’s personal story of telling her four children—and how it shaped their growth, healing, and strength as a family
The role of honesty, spiritual growth, and aligned action in rebuilding trust
The importance of giving kids a voice and a space to process their own emotions

💡 Key Takeaways:

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Every family must decide what's right for them.
Honesty, done with intention and care, can be a powerful part of healing—for you and your children.
Kids notice more than we think. Trying to fake wellness only teaches them to ignore their instincts.
The energy in the home speaks volumes. Even if nothing is said, everything is felt.
Rebuilding isn’t just between partners—it includes your children too.
You can’t rebuild with the same person who broke everything. The betrayer must be willing to transform and come clean.
Healing is uncomfortable—but necessary. It’s a choice between “hard now, easy later” or “easy now, hard later.”

✨ Dr. Debi’s Story:

Dr. Debi shares how her husband told their children about the betrayal, her decision to be transparent, and the profound impact it had on her family. From grueling healing to remarriage—with new vows and their kids as the bridal party—she offers a rare glimpse into what full-circle transformation looks like when everyone is committed to truth, growth, and healing.

“I didn’t just want to heal—I wanted to rebuild. Not just me, but my family. And that required honesty, integrity, and love—at the deepest level.”

🛠️ Resources Mentioned:

The 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/
Trust Again (Book by Dr. Debi Silber)
The Rebuild Program (For those who betrayed and want to heal): https://thepbtinstitute.com/rebuild/
The PBT Institute Community (Join the healing conversation): https://thepbtinstitute.com

📣 Final Words:

This episode is a must-listen for any parent navigating betrayal. Whether you're still reeling from the pain or beginning to rebuild, you’ll leave with tools, reflection prompts, and the reassurance that while the path is hard—it’s also transformative.

Trust your gut. You know what’s right for your family. And if you decide to open up to your children, do it with intention, clarity, and love.

Connect with Dr. Debi Silber: 🌐 ThePBTInstitute.com 📘 Trust Again - Book 🎓 Rebuild Program: https://thepbtinstitute.com/rebuild/ 🎤 Speaking & Workshops: https://thepbtinstitute.com/speaking/

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If you're in business—whether you’re running your own company, leading a team, or working within an organization—this episode is for you. Dr. Debi Silber dives deep into how unhealed betrayal isn’t just a personal issue—it has direct, tangible consequences on your professional performance, leadership, confidence, decision-making, and success.

In this eye-opening solo episode, Dr. Debi unpacks how betrayal silently sabotages your ability to lead, sell, build, and succeed—years or even decades after the betrayal occurred. Whether you're an entrepreneur, executive, or employee, you'll gain powerful insights on how trauma is showing up in your business (often without you realizing it) and what you can do to change that.

What You'll Learn:

Why betrayal impacts more than just your relationships—it affects your performance at work
How shattered trust leads to overthinking, indecision, micromanagement, and burnout
The hidden link between betrayal and stress-related illnesses, brain fog, insomnia, and more
Why unresolved emotional pain leads to undercharging, people-pleasing, and poor boundaries
How healing restores your confidence, clarity, energy, and ability to lead and grow
The business case for understanding the 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough

Key Topics Covered:

The ripple effect of betrayal in business settings
How betrayal affects your ability to trust yourself, your team, and leadership
The emotional and physiological toll of carrying unhealed trauma into the workplace
Signs betrayal is hurting your performance (and that of your employees)
Indecision, overthinking, and poor boundaries: where they really come from
Why burnout and reactive decision-making are often symptoms of a deeper wound
The cost of unaddressed trauma on productivity, visibility, and financial success
What happens when you heal—and how it elevates every part of your professional life

Quotes from the Episode:

“If you don’t trust the person you trusted most—and then you stop trusting yourself—how do you trust a boss, a coworker, or a collaborative partner?”

“You can be showing up to a meeting, making decisions, promoting your brand… but if you’re carrying unhealed betrayal, you’re not showing up fully.”

“Burnout, poor boundaries, fear of visibility—these aren’t business problems. They’re symptoms of a personal wound that hasn’t healed yet.”

Resources & Links:

🎓 Learn more about the PBT Institute
🔍 What Stage Are You In? Find out here
💼 Want to bring the 5 Stages of Healing into your organization? Contact us about corporate programs
🌟 Explore our flagship program Reclaim
🧭 Become a Certified PBT® Coach/Practitioner

Take Action:

Ask yourself: Where has betrayal impacted my business, my confidence, or my ability to lead and grow? Once you’re aware of it—you can finally begin to change it. And when you heal, every part of your life and business transforms.

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In this powerful episode, I sit down with my longtime friend and expert in integrative healing, Carol Lourie, to explore the connection between emotional stress, betrayal, and breast cancer. We discuss the impact of trauma on chronic metabolic diseases, the fear-driven medical model, and how women often feel betrayed by their bodies after a diagnosis. Carol shares invaluable insights into proactive health strategies, integrative healing, and the importance of listening to your body.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

The potential link between emotional stress, betrayal, and breast cancer
Why many women don’t recognize betrayal as a form of trauma
How chronic metabolic diseases, including cancer, are influenced by emotional distress
The significance of early detection and advocating for your own health
How women feel betrayed by their bodies after a breast cancer diagnosis
The importance of being an informed and assertive patient
How fear plays a role in medical oncology and why you don’t have to rush into treatment
Integrative strategies to support healing alongside medical treatments
How to reduce environmental toxins that contribute to disease
The role of mindset and lifestyle in creating a “pro-health” life

Key Quotes:

“There is always a connection between upsetting experiences—betrayal being one of them—and the creation of a chronic metabolic disease.”
“Your psyche and your body will continue to turn the volume up until you start paying attention.”
“Women say, ‘I ate properly, I exercised, I took care of myself… and I still got breast cancer.’ They feel betrayed by their bodies.”
“Fear is a huge part of the medical model, but cancer is not a medical emergency. You have time to research and make informed choices.”
“You can’t heal betrayal, or breast cancer, by numbing or avoiding. Healing requires deep inner work and lifestyle changes.”

Resources and Links:

Connect with Carol Lourie: www.carollourie.com
Contact Carol directly via the “Contact Me” section on her website
Learn more about integrative oncology and healing approaches

Dr. Debi & Betrayal Resources

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.
For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.

If you found this episode valuable, please share it with someone who needs to hear it and leave a review to help others find this important conversation!

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In this powerful episode, Dr. Debi sits down with Dr. Anthony Mazzella, a psychoanalyst and psychotherapist, to break down the complexities of toxic narcissistic relationships. From love bombing and devaluation to trauma bonding and the psychology behind both the narcissist and their partner, this conversation is filled with eye-opening insights. If you’ve ever wondered why you feel stuck in a toxic relationship, or how to break free from unhealthy patterns, this episode is a must-listen.

Key Topics Covered

What is a narcissist? Understanding the key traits of narcissism and how they manifest in relationships.
The cycle of narcissistic relationships: From idealization to devaluation, how the pattern keeps people trapped.
Is love bombing intentional? The surprising truth about why narcissists appear so invested in the beginning.
The ‘Shared Fantasy’ concept: Why both partners play a role in the toxic dynamic.
The making of a narcissist: How early childhood experiences shape narcissistic tendencies.
Why some people are drawn to narcissists: Exploring the unmet emotional needs that make individuals vulnerable to these relationships.
Grandiose vs. Vulnerable Narcissists: Understanding the two primary types and how they manipulate relationships differently.
Breaking the cycle: Steps to take if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist and want to heal.
Can narcissists change? The truth about transformation and what it takes to create lasting change.

Key Takeaways

Not all narcissists intentionally manipulate—many are unaware of their own behaviors.
The attraction to narcissists is often rooted in unresolved emotional wounds.
Narcissists seek "supply" (validation) in different ways, depending on their type.
More effort won’t change a narcissist’s behavior—understanding the root cause is key.
Setting boundaries and shifting the dynamic can create positive change, but only if the narcissist is willing.
Awareness is the first step toward healing—both for narcissists and their partners.

Resources & Next Steps

Learn More About Dr. Anthony Mazzella: Visit DrMazzella.com for his podcast, videos, and additional resources.

Resources & Connect with Dr. Debi  

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.
For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.

Subscribe & Leave a Review: If you loved this episode, please subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts/Spotify!

You can do that by: 1. Going to our Podcast Page- https://pbtinstitute.com/podcast/ 2. Scrolling down to “Listen on Apple Podcasts” and click the Link. It will take you to the Apple page-  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/from-betrayal-to-breakthrough/id1441968059?ls=2&mt=2   3. Clicking on “Listen on Apple Podcast. You’ll then be redirected to iTunes where you will see, “Ratings and Reviews. 4. Clicking “Ratings and Reviews” and under “Customer Reviews” you’ll see a link that says “Write a Review”.

From there, you’ll be able to rate and review.  Thanks for listening and see you next time! 

Final Thoughts

If you’re struggling in a narcissistic relationship, know that awareness is the first step toward change. Whether you choose to leave or work through the challenges, understanding your own emotional patterns and boundaries is essential. Healing is possible, and you don’t have to navigate it alone.

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In this episode, Dr. Debi sits down with Dr. G to discuss rejection, emotional patterns, and how childhood experiences shape our relationships and self-worth. They explore how these patterns influence betrayal, healing, and transformation. Dr. G shares powerful insights on how to identify, isolate, and eliminate emotional wounds to break free from the cycle of rejection.

Key Topics Covered:

The Formation of Emotional Patterns: By age 8, 80% of our emotional patterns are formed, and by age 18, our self-image is fully developed. This foundation significantly impacts our adult relationships.
Personality Types and Their Impact: The four personality types—Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholic, and Phlegmatic—affect how we respond to rejection and relationships.
The Role of Family in Emotional Development: How childhood environments and parental relationships shape emotional habits, including anxiety, anger, and rejection.
The Cycle of Rejection and Betrayal: How unresolved childhood wounds manifest in adulthood, leading to self-sabotaging behaviors in relationships.
Breaking Free from Emotional Bondage: Understanding the concept of "Rejection Junkies" and how to heal past wounds by addressing the root causes rather than symptoms.
Healing from Betrayal and Emotional Trauma: Real-life examples of overcoming past hurts, including how Dr. G and his wife navigated deep wounds in their marriage.

Key Takeaways:

Emotional patterns are deeply ingrained from childhood and shape adult relationships.
Rejection can be overt or covert, with both having lasting effects on self-esteem and relationship dynamics.
Opposites attract, then attack, then retract—understanding this cycle can help break negative relationship patterns.
Healing from betrayal and rejection requires addressing the root causes, not just symptoms.
Self-love and self-worth are critical to building healthy relationships.

Resources & Next Steps:

Take the Rejection Junkies Quiz: Visit RejectionJunkies.com and complete the quiz for a free 30-minute evaluation with Dr. G.
Learn More About Dr. G's Work: Explore more on rejection, emotional patterns, and healing strategies through his website.

PBT Resources & Next Steps

Want more support? Join us inside the PBT Community where you’ll find courses, coaching, and live Q&A Coffee Chats to help you heal.

Reclaim for the betrayed: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
Rebuild for the betrayer: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

Final Thoughts:

Dr. G shares invaluable wisdom on overcoming emotional wounds and rejection. His insights remind us that while pain from the past shapes us, it doesn’t have to define us. Healing is possible when we recognize and break free from destructive patterns.

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In this powerful episode, I sit down with Malaysia Harrell, a clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and military veteran, to discuss resilience, healing, and transformation after trauma. Malaysia shares her incredible journey—from working in high-intensity environments like prisons, child welfare, and disaster zones to surviving sepsis, multiple surgeries, and a near-death experience during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Despite facing unimaginable physical and emotional challenges, Malaysia refused to let her circumstances define her. She walks us through her healing process, the power of surrender, and how she reprogrammed her mind and body for complete transformation.

If you've ever felt stuck in pain, this episode will show you that healing is possible—and that you have the power to rise from the ashes.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

How trauma manifests in the mind, body, and spirit The connection between childhood trauma and the desire to serve others Why emotional detachment can be a coping mechanism How a near-death experience became a turning point in Malaysia’s healing The role of surrender in transformation How to use visualization and subconscious reprogramming for healing The impact of epigenetics and generational trauma Practical strategies for rewiring your mindset and body for resilience

Key Takeaways & Insights:

You can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick. Malaysia shares how stepping out of toxic environments was crucial for her transformation.

Surrender is not weakness—it’s power. True healing begins when we let go and trust the process.

Trauma lives in the body, not just the mind. Healing requires more than talk therapy—it involves addressing deep-rooted subconscious patterns and cellular memories.

Your body is always speaking to you—listen to it. Malaysia’s experience with sepsis taught her that we must advocate for ourselves when we know something is wrong.

Transformation requires a mindset shift. Through visualization, biofeedback, and reprogramming the subconscious, Malaysia rewired her mind and body for healing.

Quotes from the Episode:

“I was the one who needed saving, but I thought I had to save everyone else first.” – Malaysia Harrell

“When I made the decision to heal, everything started to align.”

“Surrendering isn’t giving up—it’s giving in to a higher plan for your life.”

“You can’t be your own therapist—you have to allow yourself to receive help.”

Resources Mentioned:

Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz – A book on subconscious reprogramming and self-image transformation Heal – A documentary on the power of the mind in healing The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk – Understanding how trauma is stored in the body Medical Medium - Anthony William – Exploring natural healing through nutrition and detoxification

Connect with Malaysia Harrell:

🔹 Website: www.malaysiaharrell.com  🔹 Instagram: @ malaysiahharrell  🔹 Coaching Services: Helping individuals transform their lives through deep healing and self-awareness.

Resources & Connect with Dr. Debi 

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.
For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.

Take Action:

Ask yourself: Where am I resisting surrender in my healing journey? Try visualization: See yourself already healed and embody that reality today. Assess your environment: Is your current space supporting or hindering your healing? Break generational patterns: Be the one who changes the story for future generations.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Screenshot this episode, tag us on social media, and let us know your biggest takeaway!

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In this episode, I sit down with Alisa Gracheva, a psychotherapist specializing in trauma healing. We dive deep into the impact of betrayal on the mind, body, and spirit, exploring the commonalities between different forms of trauma and how they shape our emotional and physiological well-being. Alisa shares her personal journey—moving to a new country alone at 18, experiencing an abusive relationship, and ultimately discovering the tools to heal and thrive.

We discuss the importance of meaning-making in healing, the role of spirituality in recovery, and how to shift from victimhood to empowerment. If you're struggling to move forward, this episode will give you insights, strategies, and encouragement to break free from old patterns and step into a stronger, more aligned version of yourself.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

The common effects of betrayal and trauma on the body and mind How Alisa’s personal experiences shaped her approach to healing The power of finding meaning in painful experiences Why resilience is built through shifting your narrative How spirituality and self-awareness play a role in recovery The importance of changing your environment to create new patterns How to identify red flags and set stronger boundaries Practical steps to rewire your thinking and build self-trust

Key Takeaways & Insights:

Betrayal & Trauma Impact More Than Just Emotions – Trauma affects your physiology, emotions, and even spirituality. Recognizing these layers is key to healing.

Meaning-Making is Essential for Healing – Viewing your pain from a broader perspective (instead of staying stuck in the story) allows growth and resilience.

Your Environment Shapes Your Healing – Changing your physical, emotional, and mental surroundings helps break old cycles and rewire your thinking.

Boundaries Are Essential – Setting boundaries isn’t just about others—it’s about holding yourself accountable for your healing process.

Healing Requires Discomfort & Action – True transformation happens when you push past familiarity and challenge yourself to grow, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Quotes from the Episode:

“We cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it.”

“One painful experience shouldn’t define your entire life. You are more than what happened to you.”

“Healing is uncomfortable, but staying stuck is far worse.”

“The people around you will change as you change—some will grow with you, and others will fall away.”

Resources & Connect with Alisa Gracheva :

Website: www.since.life Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alisa_art/

Resources & Connect with Dr. Debi 

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.
For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.

Take Action:

Reflect on how betrayal has impacted you emotionally, physically, and mentally. Identify one limiting belief and reframe it into an empowering narrative. Make a small environmental change (new routine, new people, new mindset) to shift your healing process. Set one clear boundary to protect your energy and growth.

If this episode resonated with you, take a screenshot and tag us on social media! Share your biggest takeaway!

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In this episode, I sit down with Kristin Cary, founder of Living Truth, to discuss nervous system regulation after betrayal, the journey of healing, and the transformation that follows trauma. Kristin shares her personal story of betrayal, healing, and growth, offering invaluable insights into navigating betrayal trauma, understanding nervous system responses, and reclaiming personal power.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

🔹 Kristin’s Story – How discovering betrayal during pregnancy turned her world upside down and led her on a profound healing journey. 🔹 The 5 Stages of Betrayal Recovery – Why most people get stuck in Stage 3 and how to move into true transformation. 🔹 The Role of the Nervous System – Understanding fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses and how they show up after betrayal. 🔹 Unhelpful Advice vs. Real Support – Common myths and toxic messages given to betrayed partners. 🔹 Practical Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System – Grounding exercises, breathwork, and movement strategies to restore balance. 🔹 Healing as a Lifelong Journey – Why healing is not linear and how to embrace ongoing growth.

Key Quotes:

“Healing isn’t about getting over betrayal—it’s about transforming because of it.”

“Your nervous system is always responding to perceived threats. Understanding those responses is key to healing.”

“We can’t change what we’re unaware of. Learning to tune into our bodies is one of the most important parts of recovery.”

“You are not responsible for someone else’s healing. You are responsible for your own.”

Resources & Links:

Learn more about Kristin Cary & Living Truth: www.living-truth.org Follow Kristin on[Instagram & Facebook at @ Livingtruth61 FREE Resource: Download Kristin’s helpful resources to start healing today!

Join the Conversation:

What was your biggest takeaway from this episode? Share in the comments or send me a message!

Ready to move from pain to power? Take the next step in your healing journey today.

Resources & Connect with Dr. Debi 

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.
For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.

Subscribe & Leave a Review: If you loved this episode, please subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts/Spotify! You can do that by: 1. Going to our Podcast Page- https://pbtinstitute.com/podcast/ 2. Scrolling down to “Listen on Apple Podcasts” and click the Link. It will take you to the Apple page-  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/from-betrayal-to-breakthrough/id1441968059?ls=2&mt=2   3. Clicking on “Listen on Apple Podcast. You’ll then be redirected to iTunes where you will see, “Ratings and Reviews. 4. Clicking “Ratings and Reviews” and under “Customer Reviews” you’ll see a link that says “Write a Review”. From there, you’ll be able to rate and review. 

Thanks for listening and see you next time!

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In this episode, we dive deep into the topic of numbing, avoiding, and distracting—how to recognize when you're doing it, whether it's healthy or unhealthy, and what steps you can take to move forward. Inspired by a recent Coffee Chat session inside the PBT® (Post Betrayal Transformation®) Community, we explore the different ways people cope with painful emotions and why certain methods, even seemingly positive ones, might be keeping you stuck.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

✅ The three categories of numbing, avoiding, and distracting:

Unhealthy ways (e.g., drinking, smoking, emotional eating, reckless behaviors)
Neutral ways (e.g., binge-watching TV, scrolling social media, procrastination)
Sneaky ‘healthy’ ways (e.g., overworking, excessive cleaning, obsessive fitness)

✅ How to identify if you're using these behaviors to avoid healing ✅ Four powerful questions to ask yourself:

Am I numbing, avoiding, or distracting? If so, how?
What am I trying not to see?
What will my life look like in 5-10 years if I keep this up?
What could my life look like in 5-10 years if I change now? ✅ Why numbing makes it easier to get through the day but prevents real healing ✅ How suppressed emotions surface once you stop numbing—and what to do when they do ✅ How to handle overwhelming emotions at work and in daily life ✅ The importance of self-love in healing and why you deserve to overcome your betrayal for yourself—not just for others

Key Takeaways:

Even positive habits (like working, fitness, or organizing) can be a distraction from true healing.
Suppressed emotions don’t go away—they wait for you until you’re ready to deal with them.
Healing requires facing, feeling, and processing emotions rather than numbing them.
If you've overcome challenges in other areas of life, you already have proof that you can heal from betrayal too.
You don’t have to do this alone—the right support and resources can make all the difference.

Resources & Next Steps:

💡 Want more support? Join us inside the PBT Community where you’ll find courses, coaching, and live Q&A Coffee Chats to help you heal. Visit ThePBTInstitute.com to learn more!

📌 Join Our Programs: ✔️ Reclaim Program – Designed for the betrayed to heal and rebuild. ✔️ Rebuild Program – For the betrayer, to work through their own healing and transformation.

🎧 Listen, reflect, and take action—because healing is possible, and you deserve it!

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In this powerful episode, we sit down with Kanchan Bhaskar, a woman who has truly experienced and overcome adversity. From growing up in a progressive family in India to enduring an abusive arranged marriage, Kanchan shares how she found her strength, reclaimed her identity, and built a new life for herself and her children.

Her journey is one of resilience, courage, and empowerment, and today, she shares the wisdom she gained along the way. If you’ve ever felt trapped in a situation and unsure of your next step, this episode is for you.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✅ The reality of arranged marriages in India and the cultural expectations placed on women ✅ How Kanchan navigated an abusive marriage and the challenges of leaving ✅ The critical moment that changed her mindset and helped her reclaim her power ✅ The importance of financial independence in escaping toxic situations ✅ How she built resilience and mental strength to rise above her circumstances ✅ The role of unexpected “angels” in guiding her to a new path ✅ Why breaking free from limiting beliefs is key to transformation ✅ The power of forgiveness, self-worth, and taking action

Key Takeaways & Quotes:

💬 “When the pain of where you are becomes greater than the fear of the unknown, we jump.” 💬 “I looked in the mirror and asked—where is that confident woman? She is still inside me.” 💬 “You must have a safety plan in place—your future depends on it.” 💬 “There are always people who will show up at the right time—pay attention.”

Resources & Links:

📖 Kanchan Bhaskar’s Book: Leaving: How I Set Myself Free From an Abusive Marriage 🌐 Website: KanchanBhaskarCoach.com 📲 Follow Kanchan on Social Media: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coach_kanchan/ 🎧 More Episodes: [Podcast Website/Directory Link]

Resources & Connect with Dr. Debi 

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.
For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.

Stay Connected Follow the podcast for more episodes designed to inspire and guide you through the healing process. Together, we’ll move through the five stages of healing and beyond. 

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408: The Lotus Path: Transformation Through the Mud with Ann Jonas

Guest: Ann Jonas, The Love Messenger

Overview: In this episode, we welcome Ann Jonas, also known as The Love Messenger, to discuss transformation, resilience, and love in the face of life's challenges. Ann shares her deeply personal story of navigating childhood trauma, devastating loss, and spiritual breakthroughs, all while embracing the transformative power of the "mud" in her journey.

Key Topics Covered:

The Power of the Lotus Path
The symbolic journey of the lotus: growing through the mud to blossom.
How acceptance, surrender, and letting go foster transformation.
Ann’s Personal Journey
Coping with her parents' divorce and the tragic loss of her mother.
Her father’s tumultuous path and its impact on her life.
Becoming a widow with a young child after her wife passed away.
The Role of Forgiveness
Forgiveness as an attitude, not just an act.
How living in a state of forgiveness transformed her perspective on life.
Grief and Growth
Understanding grief as an unmet need.
Using grief to uncover edges, lessons, and opportunities for growth.
Shifting Perspective
Moving from victimhood to empowerment.
Recognizing life as a spiritual journey through human experiences.
Religion vs. Spirituality
Religion as a 3D structure providing community and guidance.
Spirituality as a 5D connection to the divine and oneness with all.
The Dimensions of Growth
3D as Earth school: pillars of religion, education, politics, and medicine.
The transition to 5D: releasing fear and embracing love.
Practical Steps for Transformation
Begin by examining your life and relationships.
Identify what is serving you and lean into gratitude and synchronicities.
Shift your language and beliefs to create a life of intention and empowerment.

Notable Quotes:

“No mud, no lotus. The mud is where we grow.”
“Gratitude and bewilderment are the foundations of transformation.”
“You are here now—flip the word 'nowhere' and see it as 'now here.'”
“Forgiveness is not an act, it’s an attitude.”

Resources Mentioned:

Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch
Sacred Connection Community (Ann’s platform for meditation and connection) https://www.thelotuspath.love/sacred-connection

Connect with Ann Jonas:

Website: The Lotus Path
Social Media: Find her across platforms as The Love Messenger

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again. – For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back. – For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke. – Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.

Closing Thoughts: Ann’s journey is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. By embracing vulnerability, shifting perspectives, and leaning into love, we can transform even the darkest moments into opportunities for growth.

Call to Action: If you found this episode inspiring, please share it with someone who could benefit from Ann’s powerful message. Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review to help us spread the word!

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In this week’s episode, we continue our deep dive into guilt—an emotion that often holds us back and prevents us from moving forward. Last week, we explored the many ways guilt can surface and strategies for addressing it. Today, we’re focusing on areas of guilt that deserve their own spotlight, particularly in friendships, romantic relationships, and family dynamics. Through relatable examples and actionable advice, we’ll help you shift guilt from a roadblock to a motivator for positive change.

Key Topics Covered:

Outgrowing Friendships
Many of us feel guilty when we outgrow friendships, especially those that no longer bring us joy or align with our current selves.
It’s common to keep going through the motions, showing up for habitual get-togethers despite feeling disconnected.
Takeaway: Relationships evolve. Recognize when it’s time to let go, and allow yourself and your friends to grow in new directions. Holding on out of guilt serves no one.
Falling Out of Love
Betrayal often triggers feelings of falling out of love, but these feelings may mask deeper emotions like anger, sadness, or fear.
Before making decisions about a relationship, it’s important to work through the healing process and determine if the love has truly faded.
Takeaway: Move through The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough before making major decisions. If the relationship has run its course, give yourself permission to honor your truth without guilt.
Choosing Sides After Divorce
Navigating friendships after a divorce can lead to feelings of guilt when choosing sides.
Ask yourself: Does choosing a side feel right in your heart? Or is it creating unnecessary guilt and discomfort?
Takeaway: Focus on what feels authentic to you. If closure or conversation is needed, take those steps to find peace.
Breaking Up the Family
A common guilt trap for the betrayed is feeling responsible for breaking up the family, even when it was the betrayer’s actions that caused the split.
Takeaway: You did not break up the family. Consequences of betrayal are not your burden to carry. Seek support to rebuild your confidence and self-worth.
Creating Fun on a Budget
Post-divorce, many feel guilty about not being able to provide the same extravagant experiences for their children.
Takeaway: It’s not about extravagance; it’s about connection and creativity. Simple, meaningful experiences can create lasting memories.
Example: A client created a memorable RV trip with her kids, mapping out stops and adding themed activities, all on a budget.
Guilt as a Roadblock
Guilt often serves as an excuse to avoid difficult but necessary changes.
Takeaway: Use guilt as a motivator for action, not as a tool to maintain the status quo. Remember: Hard now, easy later; easy now, hard later. Choosing growth may be challenging in the moment, but it leads to lasting peace and clarity.

Memorable Quotes:

“Relationships are here for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Recognize the difference and honor the role they’ve played.”
“Hard now, easy later. Easy now, hard later. Take your pick because it’s going to be one of those two.”
“Guilt isn’t a productive emotion unless it motivates you toward positive action.”

Actionable Steps:

Reflect on the areas in your life where guilt is holding you back.
Consider how you can shift guilt into action by having honest conversations or making aligned choices.
Embrace change as a pathway to growth, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.

Resources Mentioned:

Last week’s episode on guilt (Episode 406).
The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough (explore more here).
PBT Institute resources for support and guidance.

Resources & Connect with Dr. Debi

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.
For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.

Final Thoughts: Guilt, while natural, often keeps us stuck in patterns that no longer serve us. By recognizing its presence and taking intentional steps toward clarity and growth, we can free ourselves from its grip. Remember: Growth and healing are within your reach—all it takes is the courage to begin.

Tune in Next Week: Join us for the next episode as we explore another facet of healing and rebuilding after betrayal. See you then!

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In this episode, we dive deep into one of the most debilitating emotions we all experience: guilt. Guilt keeps us stuck, sad, and even sick—but what if we could flip the script? I explore how guilt shows up for the betrayer, the betrayed, and in everyday situations, offering actionable strategies to turn this "useless emotion" into a motivator for positive change.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

The Betrayer’s Guilt:
Why guilt is unproductive if it only keeps you stuck.
How to tie guilt to positive actions, like doing or saying something kind to your partner or children.
How guilt can serve as a motivator for growth and transformation.
The Betrayed’s Guilt:
Feeling guilty for revenge thoughts, rage, or anger during early healing stages.
Why you shouldn’t blame yourself for someone else’s betrayal.
How to process emotions without acting on them in ways you may regret later.
Guilt in Everyday Life:
Feeling guilty for enjoying downtime, indulging in a treat, or taking care of yourself.
How guilt tied to fun or self-care stems from old beliefs around worthiness and productivity.
Why giving yourself permission to fully enjoy life is essential to well-being.

Key Takeaways:

Guilt is often tied to worthiness. If you’re feeling guilty for taking care of yourself, ask why you don’t feel deserving.
For the betrayed: your thoughts and emotions are normal, especially in early recovery Stages. Give yourself grace and don’t act on impulses that your future self may regret.
For the betrayer: use guilt as a motivator to make amends and grow into a better version of yourself.
When you experience guilt, stop and ask: Is this helpful? If not, let it go or turn it into positive action.

Reflection Exercise: Take a moment to notice when you feel guilty this week.

What triggered the guilt?
Is it tied to an old belief about worthiness or responsibility?
Can you use this guilt to inspire positive action—or is it time to let it go?

Final Thoughts: Guilt is only useful if it motivates change. Otherwise, it’s just holding you back. Let’s work on replacing guilt with grace, self-compassion, and action that moves you forward.

Resources Mentioned:

The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough framework
The PBT Institute programs for betrayers and betrayed

Stay Connected: If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might need it. Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s episode! Resources & Connect with Dr. Debi

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.
For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.

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Episode Highlights:

Welcome back to the podcast after a short hiatus! This first episode of the new year is packed with insights, inspiration, and actionable tips to help you heal, grow, and thrive.
The focus of this episode: Letting go of what no longer serves you to create space for new possibilities in your life.

Key Takeaways:

A Fresh Start for the New Year:
January often brings "New Year, New You" messages, but real transformation starts with releasing what holds you back.
Instead of adding more to your plate, reflect on what you can let go of—old beliefs, habits, or even physical clutter.
Forgive Yourself:
If betrayal has left you blaming yourself ("How did I not see this?"), it’s time to give yourself grace.
Betrayal isn’t your fault; you didn’t know how to think like someone deceptive. Let go of the guilt and self-criticism.
Reframing "Lost Time":
Feeling stuck in Stage 3 (out of the 5 Stages from betrayal to breakthrough)? Don’t beat yourself up for what you didn’t know before. Celebrate the fact that you now have a proven roadmap to healing.
Letting Go of the Old:
Start small and tangible:
Clean out expired products, mismatched socks, or items you’ve outgrown.
Physical decluttering creates mental and emotional space for something new.
Let go of outdated beliefs like “I’ll never heal” or “I can’t trust again.” Replace them with believable "bridges" that move you toward new, empowering beliefs.
Rebuilding Trust:
After betrayal, trust in yourself and others may feel shattered.
Begin by trusting small, safe things: a beloved pet, nature, or someone close to you.
Borrow belief from others if needed—trust in their vision of your healing until you can trust in yourself.
Create New Habits:
Start with small, manageable steps:
Drink more water by keeping a glass nearby.
Walk a few times a week if exercise feels overwhelming.
Call or text a friend daily to strengthen relationships.
Small wins build confidence and momentum, inspiring you to take on more over time.
Embracing Change:
Growth happens outside your comfort zone. Whether it’s small, incremental changes or bold moves like starting fresh in a new environment, embracing discomfort leads to transformation.
Example: The host shares personal changes, like decluttering her closet, committing to staying in touch with friends, and implementing new business initiatives.
The Power of Incremental Transformation:
Change doesn’t happen all at once. Slowly letting go of old patterns and integrating new habits leads to a complete transformation over time.
Celebrate every step forward—each small victory is proof of your resilience.
You Are Capable of Healing:
You may feel weighed down by trauma, but the person you’re meant to become is already within you.
The host envisions you as the best version of yourself (Stage 4 or 5)—free from the pain, thriving, and fully healed. Use this vision as inspiration to keep moving forward.

Final Thoughts:

The journey from betrayal to breakthrough requires letting go of what no longer serves you—tangible items, outdated beliefs, or limiting habits—to create space for the new.
Start small, build momentum, and trust in your ability to transform.
Remember: Healing is possible, and you’re stronger than you know.

Resources & Connect with Dr. Debi

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.
For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.

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Episode Summary:  In this eye-opening episode, Dr. Nadine Macaluso, renowned therapist and trauma expert, shares her journey of overcoming a toxic relationship with "The Wolf of Wall Street" and explains the dynamics of trauma bonds. Together, we explore how these relationships form, why they’re so difficult to leave, and actionable steps for breaking free and rebuilding your life. Dr. Nae offers profound insights, practical strategies, and hope for anyone trapped in a trauma bond.   Key Topics Covered:  1. Dr. Nadine’s Personal Journey Married to the infamous “Wolf of Wall Street,” Jordan Belfort, and the realities behind the glamour depicted in the movie. Her experience with love bombing, coercion, abuse, and the eventual breaking point that led her to leave. How her journey inspired her to become a therapist specializing in trauma and toxic relationships. 2. What Is a Trauma Bond? A toxic, dysfunctional relationship characterized by power imbalance and cycles of intermittent reinforcement (e.g., love bombing followed by abuse). Key conditions: One partner seeks control while the other becomes emotionally attached despite the harm. The confusing mix of highs and lows that keeps people trapped in these relationships. 3. Recognizing a Trauma Bond Signs of a trauma bond: self-sacrifice, self-abandonment, and rationalizing abusive behavior. The importance of radical acceptance and recognizing the reality of the relationship. Dispelling the myth that the victim is at fault for the abuse. 4. Breaking Free from a Trauma Bond The importance of having a plan before leaving: gather financial, legal, and personal resources. Learning to “wear the mask” and act normal while preparing your exit. Why reaching out for support and building resilience in a safe community is critical. 5. Rebuilding Your Life After Leaving Turning the focus inward: rediscovering who you are, addressing developmental trauma, and strengthening your self-worth. The role of self-care, therapy, and community in stabilizing after a trauma bond. Embracing the healing journey as an opportunity to create a life you love. 6. Dr. Nae’s Advice for Healing Abuse is never the victim’s fault, and healing is possible for everyone. The importance of recognizing the impulse to heal and following it step by step. Building new neural pathways to replace patterns of shame and self-blame with empowerment.   Key Takeaways: Trauma bonds are rooted in control and manipulation, not love. Recognizing the reality of the relationship is the first step to breaking free. Healing requires a plan, support, and the willingness to prioritize your self-care and growth. The power to rebuild your life lies within you, and a brighter, healthier future is possible.   Resources Mentioned: Dr. Nadine’s Website: DrNae.com Free assessments and resources, including a trauma bond assessment. Dr. Nadine on Social Media: Instagram: @NadineMacaluso TikTok: @DrNaeLMFT Dr. Nadine’s Book: Run Like Hell Available on her website and Amazon.   Subscribe to the PBT Institute’s resources for more on healing from betrayal and transforming your life!  The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.   For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.   For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.   Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz   Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.  Closing Message: If you’re in a trauma bond or recovering from one, know that healing is possible. With the right support, resources, and inner work, you can rebuild a life filled with freedom, strength, and love. Follow Dr. Nadine for more insights and take that first step toward your breakthrough today.                 

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Episode Summary: In this episode, Dr. Evan Hirsch, a world-renowned expert on fatigue and sleep, joins us to explore the profound connection between betrayal trauma and chronic fatigue. Together, we uncover why betrayal wreaks havoc on your energy, hormones, and sleep patterns—and, most importantly, what you can do to start feeling like yourself again. If you're feeling exhausted, foggy-headed, or unable to sleep after betrayal, this episode is a must-listen.
Key Topics Covered:
1. The Science Behind Fatigue and Betrayal
How betrayal trauma creates stress that damages the mitochondria (your body's energy producers) and disrupts your hormones, particularly cortisol.
The cascading effects of chronic stress on your sleep cycle, immune system, and overall health.
Why betrayal often leads to feelings of extreme fatigue and "walking through mud."
1. Acute Fatigue vs. Chronic Fatigue
The difference between temporary fatigue caused by lack of sleep and chronic fatigue that persists for months.
Signs that your fatigue has become a chronic issue requiring deeper intervention.
1. The Impact of Poor Sleep on Your Health
The relationship between sleep deprivation and weakened immune function, inability to detoxify, and hormonal imbalances.
Why sleep is essential for brain health—your brain shrinks by 60% during sleep to "wring out" toxins.
The link between poor sleep and weight issues, accelerated aging, and blood sugar dysregulation.
1. Dr. Evan Hirsch's Four-Step Approach to Fatigue Recovery:
Identify Root Causes:
The "Toxic Five" that lead to chronic fatigue: heavy metals, chemicals, mold, infections, and trauma like betrayal.
Replace Deficiencies (check with your doctor first):
Boosting key hormones and nutrients (e.g., cortisol, thyroid, progesterone, B12) to restore balance and recreate a healthy circadian rhythm.
Open Detox Pathways:
Supporting liver, kidney, and lymphatic drainage to help your body eliminate toxins effectively.
Remove the "Toxic Five":
Gradually addressing heavy metals, molds, and other underlying toxins to support long-term healing.
Practical Tips for Improving Sleep and Energy:
Start with mindset work: Reframe limiting beliefs and focus on empowering questions like, “How can I love myself more today?”
Use simple breathing techniques and nervous system retraining to move out of fight-or-flight mode into rest-and-digest.
Focus on small lifestyle changes: hydration, proper nutrition, and gentle movement if you're too fatigued for rigorous exercise.
Remember that healing takes time—especially when addressing deeper toxic burdens alongside trauma recovery.
How Fatigue Affects Other Areas of Your Life:
Brain Fog: A lack of sleep and mitochondrial dysfunction contribute to difficulty focusing and thinking clearly.
Hormonal Imbalances: Chronic stress compromises adrenal and sex hormone function, worsening symptoms like fatigue, weight gain, and disrupted cycles.
Accelerated Aging: Stress and hormonal imbalances lead to wrinkles, loss of elasticity, and other signs of aging—but healing can reverse these effects.
Key Takeaways:
Betrayal trauma sets off a cascade of stress responses that deplete your energy and disrupt your sleep.
Addressing root causes—hormonal imbalances, toxic burdens, and nervous system dysregulation—is essential for long-term recovery.
Small, actionable steps like mindset shifts, proper nutrition, and breathwork can help you start regaining control and energy today.
Resources Mentioned:
Dr. Evan Hirsch’s Website: EnergyMDMethod.com
Masterclass: Learn more about Dr. Hirsch’s approach to addressing fatigue and sleep issues.
The PBT Institute: Explore programs designed to help you heal from betrayal and rebuild your energy and life.
Connect with Us:
Visit The PBT Institute for resources to move from betrayal to breakthrough.
Check out Dr. Hirsch’s previous masterclass inside The PBT Institute for more insights on improving sleep and energy.
Closing Message: Healing from betrayal and regaining your energy is possible. Take the first step toward restorative sleep and vibrant health by addressing the root causes of your fatigue. Together, we can help you reclaim your power and move toward breakthrough.

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Episode Summary: In this episode, we dive deep into the overwhelming emotions that follow betrayal and how to navigate through them. Betrayal is unlike any other trauma—it shatters trust, self-worth, and your sense of safety. But healing is possible, and this episode will guide you through seven actionable steps to help you regain control, rebuild your foundation, and start moving toward your breakthrough.

Key Topics Covered:

Betrayal as a Unique Trauma

Betrayal affects the self deeply, shattering confidence, worthiness, and trust.
Unlike other traumas, betrayal comes from those closest to us, making the pain more profound.
Insights from the TEDx talk Do You Have Post-Betrayal Syndrome?  highlight the raw and all-consuming pain of betrayal.

The Seven Steps to Regain Control

Acknowledge and Honor Your Feelings

Avoid numbing, distracting, or suppressing emotions; instead, face and feel them to start healing.
Prolonging emotions keeps you stuck in pain and post-betrayal syndrome.

Breathe to Ground Yourself

Use simple breathing exercises (e.g., inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4) to regulate your nervous system and regain calm.

Establish a Sense of Safety

Create a physical and emotional space where you feel secure—a retreat to regroup and think clearly.

Anchor Yourself in the Present

Counter overwhelming “what if” and “why” thoughts by grounding yourself through physical sensations, like touching your arm or holding an object.

Seek the Right Support

Surround yourself with people and professionals who understand betrayal trauma and can guide you forward.
Be cautious of well-meaning friends or professionals who may unintentionally keep you stuck.

Focus on What You Can Control

Reclaim a sense of agency by focusing on small, manageable aspects of your life, like daily habits or your environment.

Visualize Your Future Self

Envision a healed and empowered version of yourself, even if it’s just one small step ahead. This vision becomes the foundation for your transformation.

Why Support Matters

The Danger of the Wrong Support:
Support groups or friends may inadvertently encourage staying stuck in the problem rather than working toward healing.
Therapists or counselors without expertise in betrayal trauma may solidify your position in Stage 3 (the hardest stage to move through).
The Power of the Right Support:
Seek communities and professionals that inspire growth, offer actionable strategies, and help you move through the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough.

Resources to Support Your Healing

Reclaim Program at The PBT Institute:
A holistic, research-based program designed to guide you through the Five Stages of Healing.
Access certified coaches, daily live classes, somatic and mindset healing, and open Q&A sessions to address your specific needs.
Community and Expert Guidance:
Join a community of people who’ve been there and come out stronger. Learn from their journeys and gain clarity on your path forward.

Key Takeaways:

Healing from betrayal is not only possible—it’s predictable with the right tools and support.
Your emotions, while overwhelming, are valid and essential to process. Avoid numbing or distracting yourself.
By grounding yourself, reclaiming control, and focusing on your future self, you can rebuild your life on your terms.
Don’t stay stuck. There is a proven path forward, and you deserve to move beyond your pain into a life filled with meaning and strength.

Links and Resources:

The PBT Institute
Learn more about the Reclaim program:
Blog post: Feeling Overwhelmed and In Shock After Betrayal: 7 Steps to Regain Control
TEDx Talk: Do You Have Post-Betrayal Syndrome?

Closing Message: Remember, betrayal may have happened to you, but it doesn’t define you. You are worthy of healing, and with the right support, you can transform even the most painful experiences into a story of resilience, growth, and purpose. Let us help you take that first step toward your breakthrough.

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Episode Summary: In this episode, we dive into two powerful themes that have been coming up recently within the PBT Institute community: learning to "agree to disagree" and evaluating "what price you're paying for your sanity." These insights will help you better understand your relationships, set boundaries, and prioritize your mental and emotional well-being.

Key Topics Covered:

Agree to Disagree
The Struggle of Conflicting Perspectives: When you encounter someone with very different opinions—whether about politics, health, or work—you may feel the need to defend your perspective or change theirs. However, this often leads to friction and emotional depletion.
The Physical and Emotional Toll: These repeated, draining exchanges can negatively impact your physical and emotional health. Over time, the anticipation of these interactions can trigger stress responses, like feeling queasy when the phone rings.
The Solution: Sometimes, the best course of action is to "agree to disagree." This decision can preserve your sanity and allow for healthier interactions by steering clear of contentious topics.
The Price You’re Paying for Your Sanity
Understanding the "Window of Willingness": This concept helps you evaluate whether someone is open and capable of making amends or if they are unwilling to take responsibility. The "window" ranges from fully open to completely shut, indicating the potential to rebuild a relationship.

Levels of Willingness:

Level 1 (Fully Open): The person takes 100% responsibility, shows deep remorse, and seeks to make things right.
Level 2: They take some responsibility but include excuses ("I did it because…").
Level 3: They blame you for their actions, causing confusion and emotional harm.
Level 4 (Completely Shut): They deny responsibility entirely and may gaslight you, claiming you are at fault.
How to Respond:
Levels 1 & 2: There is potential to rebuild if you choose to.
Levels 3 & 4: Prioritize your healing and move on, as these people at the current time are unlikely to change in their current state.
Your Healing Journey:
Recognize the level of willingness in those around you and focus on your own healing.
Move through the Five Stages of Healing (from betrayal to breakthrough) to gain clarity and strength, allowing you to make decisions from a place of empowerment rather than fear.

Key Takeaways:

Protect your energy by agreeing to disagree on topics that lead to conflict.
Evaluate the willingness of others to take responsibility for their actions using the Window of Willingness.
If you're dealing with someone at a Level 3 or 4, prioritize your healing and let go of trying to change them.
Your sanity, health, and next chapter depend on your ability to move through the healing stages and make clear, empowered decisions.

Resources & Next Steps:

Explore the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough framework to guide your healing journey through our Reclaim program.
Learn more about the Window of Willingness and how to identify it in your relationships.
Remember: healing begins with you. Focus on your well-being and take proactive steps toward a brighter future.

Connect with Us:

Share your thoughts and experiences on today’s episode—we’d love to hear from you!

Resources & Connect with Dr. Debi
The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.
For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.

Thank you for listening, and see you next time!

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Introduction

Host: Dr. Debi
Celebration of Episode 400 milestone
Reflection on the podcast's journey and gratitude to listeners
Introduction of a special compilation of the podcast’s best episodes as a resource guide

Special Segment: 21-Day Forgiveness Journey

Connection with the National Forgiveness Day (September 1)
Overview of the 21-Day Forgiveness Journey’s impact on participants, promoting emotional and physical healing

Top Episode Highlights:

Episode 5: Dr. Debi’s Three Exciting Discoveries from Her PhD Study on Betrayal
Betrayal as a unique type of trauma
The development of Post Betrayal Syndrome
Five proven stages of healing from betrayal
Episode 8: Forgiveness - A Guide for Those Struggling to Forgive
Episode 9: "Betrayal, Moral Injury, and Addiction" with Dr. Sam Shea
Episode 30: "Stand in Your Intuitive Truth, Embrace Your Potential" with Anna Miranda
Episode 33: "Rebuild, Reset, Restore" with Elizabeth Kipp
Episode 34: "Betrayed by Your Hormones" with Dr. Anna Cabeca

Additional Key Episodes by Topic:

Trust and Betrayal Recovery
Episode 41: "Can I Ever Trust Again?" (Solo)
Episode 179: "From Panic Disorder to Public Speaker" with Kim Strobel
Episode 264: "Stored Trauma in the Body" with Dr. Aimie Apigian
Abuse and Trauma Recovery
Episode 245: "Through the Storm of Early Trauma" with Birdie Lynn Kelly
Episode 263: "Thriving After Sexual Abuse - A Healing Journey" with Denise Besarte
Relationships & Healing
Episode 12: "Dealing with Relentlessly Difficult, Toxic People" with Dr. Rhoberta Shaler
Episode 287: "Toxic Relationships, Emotional Abuse, and Narcissism"
Self-Care and Mindset
Episode 78: "Love Yourself Happy" with Shari Alyse
Episode 166: "Healing Your Relationship with Food and Your Body" with Mindy Gorman-Plutzer
Somatic and Physical Healing
Episode 113: "Essential Oils and Trauma Recovery" with Jodi Cohen
Episode 82: "The Betrayer of Abuse and Its Connection to Illness"

Closing Remarks

Dr. Debi's gratitude to listeners for their support
Encouragement to reach out with topic suggestions or guest requests
Information about The PBT Institute for ongoing support and healing resources

Next Steps

Suggestions to revisit episodes based on listener needs and interests
Continued commitment to cover all aspects of healing from betrayal in upcoming episodes

Resources & Links: For more information and access to all resources, visit ThePBTInstitute.com

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.  

For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.

Thank you for joining us on this milestone journey! Here's to 400 more episodes of healing, growth, and transformation. Reach out with any suggestions or support needs.

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Episode Highlights:

Introduction to the discussion with Dr. Mary Sanders focusing on the intersection of betrayal, chakras, and energy medicine.
Recap of a previous episode on chakras, with Dr. Sanders bringing new elements and insights to deepen understanding of their healing power.
Importance of energy medicine in balancing, harmonizing, and cleansing the electromagnetic field (biofield) that surrounds and flows through us.

Key Topics Discussed:

Understanding Energy Medicine:
The connection between individuals and a greater universal electromagnetic component.
How environmental factors can impact one's biofield and chakras.
Role of energy medicine in balancing and clearing the body’s electromagnetic field.
Chakras and Their Role:
Chakras as vortices of energy responsible for assimilation and expression of life force energy.
Broad overview of energy centers and how they are impacted by life experiences and trauma.
Dr. Mary’s Journey and Expertise:
Her background as a chiropractor with an emphasis on positive psychology and medical intuition.
Personal story of developing heightened senses due to being hearing impaired.
Explanation of psychometry and clairsentience as part of her intuitive practice.
Impact of Betrayal on Chakras:
Root chakra (first energy center) commonly affected by betrayal, manifesting as a loss of trust and feelings of ungroundedness.
Connection to physical symptoms, such as issues with knees, feet, or sciatic pain, and hormonal imbalance due to adrenal gland impact.
The relationship between betrayal, the third chakra (autonomy and self-worth), and fourth chakra (heart and self-love).
Physical and Emotional Manifestations:
The somatic response to trauma in the body and chakras contracting or expanding.
Examples of how betrayal-induced pain can manifest physically, like heaviness in the chest or gut feelings.
Healing Modalities and Approaches:
Dr. Sanders emphasizes the importance of intention and guided meditation to cleanse and recharge chakras.
Exploration of different healing methods like bilateral stimulation and deep meditation for balancing energy centers.
Discussion on how each person’s healing journey is unique and intuitive.
Practical Advice for Listeners:
Daily practices to release trauma, such as using guided meditations and intentional energy cleansing exercises.
Encouragement to explore energy-based healing methods even if they differ from conventional approaches.
Final Words and Empowerment:
Encouragement to listen to personal intuition when choosing a healing path.
Importance of reclaiming one’s own energy and being empowered in their healing journey.

Connect with Dr. Mary Sanders:

Website: Dr. Mary Sanders
Offerings include one-on-one sessions, group environments, and podcast episodes focusing on energy medicine and somatic wisdom.

Stay Connected with Us

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.  

For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.

Make sure to subscribe to the podcast, share this episode, and leave a review if you found the episode inspiring!

You can do that by: 1. Going to our Podcast Page - https://pbtinstitute.com/podcast/ 2. Scrolling down to “Listen on Apple Podcasts” and click the Link. It will take you to the Apple page -  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/from-betrayal-to-breakthrough/id1441968059?ls=2&mt=2   3. Clicking on “Listen on Apple Podcast. You’ll then be redirected to iTunes where you will see, “Ratings and Reviews.” 4. Clicking “Ratings and Reviews” and under “Customer Reviews” you’ll see a link that says “Write a Review.”

From there, you’ll be able to rate and review. Thanks!

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Introduction:

Discusses the impact of betrayal on sleep, emphasizing how difficult it is to rest due to intrusive thoughts and images, especially at night.
Highlights the importance of deep, restorative sleep for healing and recovery.

Main Tips for Improving Sleep:

Acknowledge and Accept the Cause of Sleeplessness:
Understand that betrayal is the root cause of your struggle.
Acknowledge and honor your feelings instead of pushing them aside.
Practice self-compassion, giving yourself the same care you would offer to a loved one in pain.
Create a Sleep Sanctuary:
Declutter your space to create a peaceful, distraction-free environment.
Ensure the room is dark, cool, and conducive to rest.
Breathe Through Stress:
Practice deep breathing exercises, such as inhaling for four counts, holding for seven, and exhaling for eight.
Breathing helps regulate the nervous system and encourages sleep.
Reclaim Your Nighttime Routine:
Establish a calming routine that signals to your body it’s time to rest.
Suggestions include drinking chamomile tea, taking a warm bath, using calming essential oils, or reading a soothing book.
Challenge and Reframe Negative Thoughts:
Actively confront negative thoughts that may keep you up at night.
Recognize that thoughts are not necessarily truths; reframe them with a positive or growth-oriented perspective.
Seek Support Wisely:
Be selective about whom you speak with; not everyone will understand betrayal trauma.
Seek professionals highly skilled in betrayal trauma to guide you effectively through the healing process.
Practice Self-Care and Compassion:
Treat yourself with gentleness and understanding as you navigate the difficult process of healing from betrayal.
Recognize that your emotions are valid responses to the trauma you’ve experienced.
Mindfulness, Meditation, and Journaling:
Find mindfulness or meditation practices that suit you, such as guided meditations or music.
Journaling can offer clarity and provide a space for reflection.
Limit Stimulants and Electronics Before Bed:
Be mindful of your circadian rhythm and avoid stimulants like caffeine in the afternoon.
Limit exposure to electronics and content that might trigger anxiety or stress.
Create a Positive Audio Environment:
Consider listening to audiobooks or soothing messages before bed.
Ensure the volume is high enough to drown out negative thoughts and provide a calming mental backdrop.

Conclusion:

Emphasizes that even small changes can lead to better sleep.
Encourages listeners to try these tips, noting that deep, restorative sleep will aid in healing, clarity, and overall well-being.

Final Note:

More tips and resources for better sleep and healing from betrayal will be shared in upcoming sessions.

Hope you find these show notes helpful and comprehensive!

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again. 

For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.

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Topics Covered:

Understanding the Non-Money Spouse Role
Defining the “non-moneyed spouse” and how they can become more financially engaged.
Overcoming “ostrich syndrome” and strategies to get started with financial management.
Importance of knowing income, assets, and resources, and how financial experts help bridge the gap between current financial situations and future goals.
Steps for non-money spouses to take control and gain confidence in their financial future.
Identifying Personal Goals and Aspirations
Jennifer shares advice on moving from a place of survival to one of intentional planning.
Techniques like mind mapping to visualize personal goals—travel, financial independence, retirement, lifestyle aspirations—and prioritize them.
Reassessing life goals after big changes, such as betrayal or personal reinvention, and how life events reshape priorities.
The Power of a Family Love Letter
Introducing the concept of a family love letter: a comprehensive message to loved ones including financial information, personal messages, and practical guidance.
Personal stories illustrating the emotional and practical benefits of a love letter for loved ones left behind.
Advice on including crucial information, such as passwords, financial account details, and personal items’ sentimental value.
Building Legacy and Reducing Family Conflict
Strategies for communicating intentions to prevent misunderstandings among heirs.
The value of gifting personal items while still alive and creating transparency around inheritance decisions.
Tips on keeping relationships strong within families after a loved one passes, and reducing the potential for sibling conflicts.
Writing and Maintaining Your Love Letter
Jennifer’s suggestions on creating and updating a family love letter.
How to start small: prompts, topics to include, and ways to make the writing process manageable.
Encouragement to keep it current and update it as life changes.

Key Takeaways:

Engage with your finances: Non-moneyed spouses can build confidence and control over their financial lives with small, gradual steps.
Mindful goal-setting: Reflect on what truly matters and what you want from life as you move forward, particularly after major life transitions.
Prepare a family love letter: This serves as both a practical guide and a meaningful legacy for loved ones, preserving both financial clarity and personal wishes.
Preventing conflict and building legacy: Clear communication can encourage unity and reduce friction among family members after a passing.
Getting started: Begin with simple steps, and know that creating your family love letter is an evolving process.

Resources Mentioned:

Book: Squeeze the Juice by Jennifer Lee—A guide for simplifying financial topics for those hesitant about financial planning.
Free Consultation: Jennifer offers a 15-minute, no-obligation consultation for questions on financial planning or getting started.
Website: https://modern-wealth.com/
Instagram: instagram.com/modernwealthloveletter/

Jennifer shares her expertise to help listeners create financial clarity and leave a meaningful legacy for their families. From addressing the non-moneyed spouse’s needs to practical steps for family communication, this episode is packed with actionable insights for everyone.

Subscribe to the PBT Institute’s resources for more on healing from betrayal and transforming your life! 

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again. 

For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.

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Episode Overview

In this episode, we dive into the journey from fear-filled relationships to fearless connections with special guest Steven Dietrich, author of Fear Dynamics. Steven shares his powerful personal story of overcoming early trauma and discusses the transformative healing methods that helped him cultivate genuine, healthy relationships. He provides insights into coping with and healing from deep emotional wounds, plus practical guidance for anyone struggling to move past personal and relational anxieties.

Key Topics Discussed

Steven's Background
Steven shares his early experiences of trauma, growing up with abuse, and the fear and anxiety that shaped his initial interactions and relationships.
How these formative years created a foundation of fear in his relationships and the adaptive mechanisms he developed to cope with this environment.
The Defining Moment for Change
Steven describes a pivotal conversation with his wife that spurred him to commit to healing, especially for the sake of his young son.
This moment underscored the importance of prioritizing loved ones when personal motivation alone isn’t enough.
Therapeutic Modalities and Healing Methods
Steven discusses the variety of therapeutic techniques he used, including:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
Brain mapping to address neuroplasticity and retrain thought patterns.
Insights into how these tools helped Steven slow down, manage triggers, and transform his reactions.
The Power of Brain Mapping
Explanation of brain mapping, what it entails, and how it provided Steven with essential insights into his reactions and emotional triggers.
The role of neuroplasticity in altering ingrained patterns of thought and behavior.
Reintegration and Authenticity
How healing allowed Steven to present a unified, authentic self across all areas of his life rather than adapting different personas.
The impact of authenticity on his relationships, both personal and professional, and his newfound ability to be fully present.
Steven’s Book: Fear Dynamics
Steven discusses his book, Fear Dynamics, which combines memoir with self-help, illustrating techniques for overcoming relational fear and anxiety.
Emphasis on practical guidance for healing while living a regular life without extreme changes.
Steven’s goal to normalize conversations around mental and emotional health.

Takeaways from This Episode

Healing is achievable without making major life changes; transformation is often about perspective and internal shifts.
Different therapeutic methods offer unique insights and benefits—finding what works for you is key.
Authenticity and self-acceptance create stronger, more genuine relationships.
Healing from trauma enables a calmer, more present life experience.

Learn More & Connect with Steven Dietrich

Fear Dynamics by Steven Dietrich is available on Amazon.
Visit Steven’s website: StephenJDietrich.com
Connect with Steven on LinkedIn for ongoing insights: LinkedIn Profile

Thank You for Listening! Special thanks to Steven Dietrich for sharing his inspiring journey and offering guidance for anyone on the path to healing from relationship-related trauma.

Subscribe to the PBT Institute’s resources for more on healing from betrayal and transforming your life! 

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again. 

For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.

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In this episode, we explore the delicate balance of parenting while healing from betrayal. As a mom of four, Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT Institute, shares her personal journey of navigating the challenges of healing, all while striving to be the best parent possible. Dr. Debi emphasizes the importance of honesty, vulnerability, and leading by example, showing how these values have shaped her family's healing and transformation. Listen as she discusses the critical lessons learned, from openly sharing struggles with her children to embracing resilience and growth, and how these experiences have ultimately created a stronger, more connected family.

Key Takeaways:

Healing and Parenting: Dr. Debi reflects on the challenges of parenting while moving through her own betrayal, emphasizing that authenticity, honesty, and love are crucial in guiding children through difficult times.
Honesty as Strength: By being open about her struggles, Dr. Debi allowed her children to witness resilience and transformation, offering them a valuable life lesson.
The Power of Vulnerability: Sharing (vs. burdening) her emotional journey with her children fostered a stronger bond of trust and understanding within the family.
Balancing Priorities: Dr. Debi discusses the importance of carving out time for personal healing and self-care, even amidst the demands of family life.
Resilience in Kids: She highlights how children can be more resilient than we often think and benefit from seeing real-life challenges and growth in their parents.
Lead by Example: Dr. Debi explains how modeling authenticity and integrity in her actions helped her children develop their own values and confidence.
Transformation Through Betrayal: Dr. Debi shares how betrayal was a catalyst for deep personal transformation for herself and her husband, ultimately leading to a completely rebuilt and stronger family dynamic.

Quotable Moments:

"If you don’t know what you’re doing, be honest. If you don’t know what you’re doing, be authentic. If you don’t know what you’re doing, express love."
"Betrayal is a full-on reckoning... you get to birth an entirely new you."
"Honesty means all of it, and it rebuilds trust with your kids."
"There's something so beautiful about being authentically you. You're not burdening your kids. You're being real."

Resources:

PBT Institute Website
Previous episodes on healing from betrayal

Connect with Dr. Debi:

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.
For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our free masterclass here:

Call to Action:

If you're going through betrayal and need support, remember that you're not alone. Check out the resources and programs at The PBT Institute, where we help people transform and heal from betrayal to become their best selves.

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In this episode, Dr. Debi sits down with Dawn McIntyre for a powerful conversation about healing from a lifetime of betrayal and trauma. Dawn shares her personal story, from childhood abuse to experiencing profound betrayal in adult relationships. Through her journey, Dawn offers valuable insights into overcoming PTSD, navigating narcissistic relationships, and reclaiming personal power. This episode is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the importance of self-compassion, spiritual growth, and forgiveness in the healing process.

Key Points Discussed:

Childhood Betrayal: Dawn recounts the severe physical, emotional, and mental abuse she endured as a child, starting at age three. She explains how this early trauma shaped her ability to trust and set the stage for future betrayals.
Re-experiencing Trauma in Adulthood: Dawn opens up about a decade-long abusive relationship where she faced annihilation consciousness, a form of betrayal where someone consciously seeks to destroy you. This relationship mirrored her childhood trauma and deepened her PTSD.
The Impact of Narcissistic Relationships: Dawn discusses how she recognized the patterns of abuse and manipulation from a narcissistic partner and how this toxic dynamic escalated over time, leaving her emotionally, financially, and mentally vulnerable.
Spiritual and Emotional Healing: Dawn highlights her path to healing, which includes therapy (EMDR), spiritual growth, and embracing her gifts as a professional intuitive. She shares how understanding her connection to her soul and the universe was key to her recovery.
Empowerment and Self-Compassion: Don emphasizes the importance of self-forgiveness, setting boundaries, and reclaiming personal power after betrayal. She encourages listeners to see their healing journey as ongoing and to focus on self-love and compassion.

Notable Quotes:

"It’s not about what happens to us, but what we do with it."
"Healing is not a destination; it’s a journey."
"We’re born with power—our divine birthright is to prosper and experience love and joy."

Resources Mentioned:

Sophia Code Movement: A resource Dawn found helpful on her healing journey, offering free monthly offerings and support for those healing from PTSD.
Sovereign Soul Alliance: A community and movement for healing PTSD in its various forms.

Connect with Dawn: Don McIntyre is a professional intuitive and empath who offers spiritual guidance and healing. You can reach her via email at adirectlinetothedivine@gmail.com

Stay Connected with Us:

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again. 

For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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In this episode, we dive into the world of quantum healing with our special guest, Riana Malia. Riana is a certified Quantum Time Release practitioner and master trauma coach who has dedicated her life to helping individuals break free from the emotional and mental chains of the past. Together, we explore the transformative power of Quantum Time Release and how it can help you release trauma, heal deeply, and step into your best life. Rihanna also shares her personal journey, overcoming challenges in her upbringing and marriage, to become a powerful healer. Get ready to discover a method of healing that is painless, peaceful, and deeply effective.

Key Topics:

Introduction to Riana Malia
Discussing Riana’s background and passion for quantum healing.
The foundation of her work in Quantum Time Release.
Riana’s Personal Journey
Growing up with a single mother and feeling the effects of abandonment from her father.
Overcoming financial struggles, early marriage, divorce, and the challenges of single motherhood.
The emotional patterns formed from childhood trauma and difficult relationships.
The Breakthrough Moment
Moving to California in pursuit of family and stability, only to be entangled in a legal nightmare involving her father.
Rebuilding her life and career after traumatic events and making a vow to break the generational cycle of broken promises.
Quantum Time Release & Healing
Explanation of Quantum Time Release and how it differs from traditional therapeutic methods.
How the technique taps into the unconscious mind to clear stored trauma without reliving past pain.
Releasing emotional weight and breaking lifelong negative patterns.
The Quantum Pattern Protocol
The three stages of Riana’s Quantum Pattern Protocol and how it facilitates deep healing and transformation.
Understanding the "dysfunction detox" and the process of removing limiting beliefs that keep individuals stuck.
The Power of Unconscious Healing
A deep dive into the science of unconscious memory storage and the cellular memory that holds onto trauma.
How Quantum Time Release clears these memories and brings lasting peace without the pain of reliving trauma.
Why Healing Doesn’t Have to Be Hard
Discussing why healing can be light, joyful, and transformative without dredging up painful memories.
Empowering individuals to believe that they can overcome trauma and start living their “hell yes” life.

Key Quotes:

"Healing doesn't have to be hard, it doesn't have to be heavy."
"The worst of it already happened. You owe it to yourself to live free and happy."

Takeaways:

Trauma doesn’t have to define your future. Quantum Time Release offers a way to heal deeply without reliving past pain.
Start your healing journey today by exploring Quantum Time Release and unlocking the path to your best life.

Resources & Links:

Learn More About Riana Malia: RianaMalia.com
Download Free Resources: RianaMalia.com/gifts
Connect with Rihanna on Social Media: Instagram: @RianaMalia Facebook: @RianaMalia

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.

For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

Thanks for tuning in! If you’re ready to move beyond your betrayal story and create a new, empowered life, visit The PBT Institute to learn more about our programs and community. Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast on your favorite platform. See you next time! 

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Episode Summary: In this episode, we explore the concept of forgiveness, particularly in the context of betrayal, and how it can be a powerful tool for personal freedom and healing. Dr. Debi dives into the creation and success of the 21-Day Forgiveness Journey, an initiative by The PBT Institute, tied to National Forgiveness Day on September 1st. This journey encourages participants to reflect, release, and rebuild after experiences of betrayal or hurt. Dr. Debi shares insights, stories, and tools that have helped many people move from anger and resentment to freedom and peace.

Key Points:

The Meaning of Forgiveness:
Forgiveness is often misunderstood. It’s not about excusing the other person’s actions or reconciling with them. It’s about releasing the power that the pain has over you.
Forgiveness is for your own healing, not for the person who wronged you.
21-Day Forgiveness Journey:
This journey was designed as an experiment to see if people could go from anger and bitterness to forgiveness and freedom in just 21 days, leveraging intentional practice and group support.
Participants followed a structured process, featuring powerful stories of forgiveness (e.g., Holocaust survivors, Nelson Mandela, the Dalai Lama), daily affirmations, quotes, and experiential activities.
Three Key Steps in Forgiveness:
Review: Are you willing to revisit the experience of betrayal or hurt? Can you see it from a different perspective?
Release: Are you ready to let go of the emotional burden that this experience has caused you? The metaphor of carrying a 500-pound boulder illustrates the weight of holding onto pain.
Rebuild: Once you’ve forgiven, how can you rebuild yourself or your relationship with the person who hurt you? This is about creating a new version of yourself or renegotiating boundaries.
Creating Your Own Forgiveness Tracker:
The 21-Day Forgiveness Journey used a simple tracker with three columns: Review, Release, and Rebuild.
Participants focused on one particular experience or betrayal and documented their progress, choosing the day they were ready to review the experience, release it, and rebuild.
The Physical and Emotional Impact of Holding Onto Pain:
Holding onto anger and bitterness can impact your mental, emotional, and physical health.
Forgiveness can reduce the toll on your immune system, lower your stress, and improve your overall well-being.
Powerful Stories of Forgiveness:
Throughout the journey, participants were inspired by stories of people who had forgiven after horrific events, such as the loss of family during the Holocaust or genocides in Rwanda.
These stories helped participants see that if others could forgive after such intense pain, they too could release their own burdens.
Tips for Your Own Forgiveness Journey:
Choose one specific incident to focus on—start with something smaller to build momentum.
Engage with stories, quotes, books, and activities that help you reflect on the nature of forgiveness.
Track your progress and allow yourself to move at your own pace. There is no rush, and each step forward is a victory.
The Distinction Between Forgiveness and Reconciliation:
Forgiveness is about freeing yourself from the pain, while reconciliation involves rebuilding a relationship, which requires the other person’s participation and responsibility.
It's important to understand that you can forgive without reconciling if there is no remorse or apology from the other party.
The Power of Moving Forward:
Forgiveness opens up space for new possibilities in your life, whether it's improved health, new opportunities, or personal growth.
Once you release the burden of past pain, you make room for healing and transformation.

Resources Mentioned:

Stories of Nelson Mandela, the Dalai Lama, and Holocaust survivors as examples of profound forgiveness.
Books and resources recommended throughout the journey on the topic of forgiveness.

Final Thoughts: The 21-Day Forgiveness Journey is a transformative process that invites you to face, feel, and heal from past betrayals. Forgiveness isn’t easy, but it’s a gift you give yourself to live a life unburdened by pain and resentment. The host encourages listeners to embark on their own forgiveness journey, whether through a structured tracker or their own personal process, to find freedom and peace.

Subscribe to the PBT Institute's resources for more on healing from betrayal and transforming your life!

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.

For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Guest:

Melissa Vogel Melissa is a fitness expert and podcast host who turned her traumatic childhood experiences into a powerful force for healing, personal growth, and helping others.

Overview:

In this episode, we sit down with Melissa Vogel to explore the impact of growing up in an environment of betrayal and how these early experiences shape us. We dive into the emotional journey of overcoming trauma and the steps Melissa took to reclaim her self-worth, break cycles, and build a life of strength—both mentally and physically.

Key Discussion Points:

Melissa’s Childhood Betrayal: Melissa shares her experiences growing up with parents who stayed together despite infidelity. She talks about the anxious and unstable environment this created, leading to feelings of unworthiness and "not being enough."
The Role of Anxiety & ADHD: Melissa reflects on how anxiety and ADHD played a part in her childhood, questioning whether one condition may have triggered the other.
Awareness and Childhood Coping: Melissa recounts how, as a child, she became aware of her father’s cheating and the emotional impact it had on her family. Her role as the caretaker for her siblings and her mother left her feeling unseen and neglected.
Anger and Realization: As a teenager, Melissa began to piece together the betrayal. This led to anger, particularly toward her father, and a deep sense of loss, as she realized how much the infidelity had affected her own self-worth.
Sibling Responses: Melissa discusses how her siblings dealt with the trauma differently—some turned to rebellion, while others sought attention in superficial ways. Melissa became a people-pleaser, but she eventually found her way to therapy, which helped her process her emotions and experiences.
Her Mom’s Role: Melissa also shares her frustration with her mother, who she viewed as weak for staying in the marriage and not protecting her children from the emotional fallout.
Breaking the Cycle: Melissa married a man who shared many of the emotional traits of her father, but she eventually recognized the patterns and sought therapy. Through this journey, she found her worth, focused on self-love, and broke the cycle of dysfunction for her own children.
The Link Between Physical and Emotional Strength: Melissa discusses how fitness became a crucial part of her healing process. She emphasizes the connection between physical health and emotional resilience, explaining that moving her body helped her mentally navigate the challenges of divorce and personal transformation.
Self-Worth and Boundaries: One of Melissa's key takeaways is the importance of self-worth. She encourages listeners to prioritize themselves, set boundaries, and never settle for bare minimums in relationships or life.

Key Quotes:

“You didn’t just cheat on mom; you cheated on me too.”
"Move your body. It doesn’t have to be about losing weight—it’s about getting your mind clear."
“We have this inner beast and goddess that deserves to be loved and nurtured. Keep working on yourself, even if it’s just a walk a day.”

Actionable Steps:

Start Moving: Melissa encourages listeners to start with something simple—like taking a walk. Moving your body helps shift your mental state and begins the process of healing.
Embrace Therapy: Therapy was pivotal for Melissa in understanding her experiences and developing healthier patterns. She encourages others to seek professional help if they're struggling to process trauma.
Prioritize Yourself: Learn to set boundaries and prioritize your own needs and self-worth. Self-love is key to breaking toxic cycles and building stronger relationships.

Where to Find Melissa Vogel:

Website: https://www.itsmelissavogel.com/
Social Media:
Instagram: @itsmelissavogel

Connect with Us:

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review! You can also follow us on social media for updates and more insights.

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.

For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Episode Summary:

In this episode, we explore a deeply emotional and complex issue many people face after betrayal: protecting the betrayer. Despite experiencing deception, infidelity, or disloyalty, many still shield the betrayer from consequences. We'll dive into the three main reasons this happens and the impact it has on healing and recovery.

Key Topics Covered:

Introduction to Betrayal Protection:
Discusses the surprising phenomenon where the betrayed individual often protects the betrayer, sometimes even at their own expense.
Observations from research and real-life examples, including findings from members of The PBT Institute.
Reason 1: The Illusion of the Betrayer’s Image
The betrayer often has a well-loved and respected image within the family, community, or friend group.
Fear of shattering the positive illusion people have about the betrayer keeps the betrayed silent, even when suffering.
Reason 2: Fear of Confrontation
A common fear is the confrontation that may arise from exposing the truth.
Examples include potential backlash from family members who may not believe the revelation, preferring to defend the betrayer.
Scenario of a wife revealing an affair to her mother-in-law, highlighting the fear of confrontation and rejection.
Reason 3: Self-Doubt and Gaslighting
Betrayal shatters self-worth, leading the betrayed to question their value and role in the relationship.
The process of gaslighting can make them feel at fault, believing they weren’t enough in some way (not smart enough, pretty enough, etc.).
The psychological manipulation of the betrayed into thinking the betrayal was their fault and how this impacts their healing process.
Rebuilding After Betrayal:
Discusses the role of the betrayer in the healing process and the importance of honesty and accountability.
Explains how rebuilding a relationship can only begin when the betrayer takes full responsibility for their actions.
Personal Story Highlight:
A case study of a woman betrayed for over 30 years who sought help to “reframe” her mind to accept her husband's behavior—a situation that underscores the extreme consequences of betrayal and gaslighting.
Reflection and Call to Action:
Reflect on your own experiences and recognize which of the three reasons (illusion, fear of confrontation, or self-doubt) resonates most.
We’re here to offer support and guidance to those struggling in their recovery journey from betrayal.

Key Quotes:

“Why do we protect the betrayer? We do it at our own expense, often to protect their illusion.”
“Fear of confrontation is real, and it stops us from seeking the validation and support we need.”
“Gaslighting makes you question your worth and believe you were the cause of the betrayal.”

Resources Mentioned:

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.
For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

Final Thought:

Protecting the betrayer can significantly impact your healing journey. It’s crucial to recognize if you're caught in this cycle and to reach out for the support you deserve. Healing starts with addressing the betrayal openly and refusing to take on the burden alone.

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In this episode, we dive into the fascinating world of color, art, and healing with Heather Eck. Heather shares her unique journey from a career in Human Resources to becoming an artist who uses color and synesthesia to help people heal from emotional pain, including betrayal. Heather discusses how her sensitivity to color and auras evolved over time and how she now uses this gift to guide others in their healing journeys. Key Points: Introduction to Heather Eck: Heather's background in art and human resources. The moment she realized her sensitivity to color and auras could be a powerful tool for healing.

Understanding Synesthesia and Clairsentience: Heather explains synesthesia, a condition where senses overlap, allowing her to "see" colors in music and emotions. Discussion on clairsentience and how it plays a role in her work.

The Role of Color in Healing: How color can reflect and influence emotions and energy. The importance of paying attention to the colors you are drawn to and how they might reflect your emotional state.

Art as a Therapeutic Tool: Heather talks about how creating art can be a powerful way to process and release emotions, especially after betrayal. Practical advice for listeners on how to use art and color in their own healing journeys.

Auras and What They Reveal: Heather shares insights into how she sees auras and what different colors can indicate about a person’s emotional and spiritual state. Specific colors associated with betrayal and how they manifest in auras.

Practical Tips for Using Color in Daily Life: Heather encourages listeners to experiment with color in their clothing and surroundings to uplift their mood and energy. The significance of being mindful of the colors you are naturally drawn to.

Heather’s Personal Experience and Advice: Personal stories about how color has impacted Heather’s life and the lives of those she works with. Encouragement to embrace creativity in all forms as a path to healing. Resources and Links: Follow Heather Eck on Instagram: @HeatherEckArtist Heather’s Website: HeatherEck.com Free Resources and Color Discovery Session: HeatherEck.com/thankyou The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com Takeaway: Heather’s insights on the power of color and art offer a unique perspective on healing from betrayal and emotional pain. By embracing creativity and paying attention to the colors in your life, you can unlock new avenues for personal growth and transformation. Call to Action: If you're interested in exploring how color can support your healing journey, reach out to Heather for a personalized color discovery session and start experimenting with art in your daily life.

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In this powerful episode, Dr. Debi shares an insightful conversation with a Transform member from The PBT Institute. They discuss the common struggles many face after betrayal and the subtle ways these challenges can prevent healing. Through this discussion, Dr. Debi highlights the importance of not staying stuck in the pain of betrayal but using it as a catalyst for profound transformation. Key Points: The Subtlety of Stuckness: Betrayal can leave you feeling blindsided and disoriented, with life divided into "before" and "after." It's easy to get stuck in Stage three of healing—constantly reviewing what happened without moving forward. Therapy Trauma: Well-meaning therapists can sometimes keep people stuck if they don't fully understand betrayal or The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough. Couples counseling can also be challenging if the profound impact of betrayal isn't recognized. The Danger of Repetition: Constantly revisiting the betrayal story without seeking growth can keep you trapped in negative emotions, symptoms of post-betrayal syndrome, and a stage three life. Pattern Interrupts: To break free from repetitive thoughts and behaviors, Dr. Debi suggests using "pattern interrupts," similar to changing a physical habit like binge eating, to change the mental patterns that keep you stuck. The Power of Transformation: Moving from Stage three to Stage four and beyond is about creating a new version of yourself—one that is intentionally crafted and no longer defined by the betrayal. Tough Love and Growth: Dr. Debi offers support to those who are stuck, encouraging them to embrace the opportunity to grow and create a better story for themselves. A Roadmap to Healing: The PBT Institute offers a proven roadmap and community support to help individuals move through the stages of healing and create a life beyond betrayal. Takeaway: Betrayal can be one of the most painful experiences, but it also holds the potential for incredible growth and transformation. Don't waste your trauma by staying stuck in the pain. Use it to create something beautiful in the next chapters of your life. Resources: PBT Institute Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com Reclaim (for the betrayed): https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/ Rebuild (for the betrayer): https://thepbtinstitute.com/rebuild-program/ Thanks for tuning in! If you're ready to move beyond your betrayal story and create a new, empowered life, visit The PBT Institute to learn more about our programs and community. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast on your favorite platform. See you next time!

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In this episode, Dr. Debi speaks with Dr. Sherry Price, a life coach and former pharmacist, about the intricate relationship between alcohol and self-betrayal. They explore how alcohol, often normalized in society, can become a habit that leads to self-loathing, broken promises, and a disconnect between one's morals and actions. Dr. Sherry shares her personal journey with alcohol, the impact it had on her life and relationships, and the steps she took to regain control and establish a healthier relationship with drinking. The conversation also touches on how to navigate social situations while reducing alcohol consumption and the importance of aligning actions with personal values.

Key Points:

Introduction to Dr. Sherry Price: Dr. Debi introduces Dr. Sherry Price, highlighting their mutual connection and Sherry's expertise on the topic of alcohol and self-betrayal. Normalizing Alcohol in Society: Discussion on how alcohol is often viewed as a normal part of life, used to unwind and manage stress, and how this normalization can lead to problematic habits. Sherry’s Personal Journey with Alcohol: Sherry shares her story of overdrinking and the struggle to cut back, despite not fitting the typical “addict” label. She describes the rituals around drinking that became ingrained in her life and the challenges she faced in trying to reduce her intake. The Turning Point: A powerful moment with her daughter serves as a wake-up call for Sherry, prompting her to take more serious steps towards cutting back on alcohol. Navigating Social Situations: Strategies for handling social pressures to drink, including how to communicate changes in drinking habits to friends and family without feeling judged or isolated. The Role of Coaching: How finding a coach who understood her goals helped Sherry redefine her relationship with alcohol and navigate the complexities of reducing her consumption without quitting entirely. Shifting Identity and Embracing Change: The process of shifting one’s identity from someone who drinks regularly to someone who has a healthier relationship with alcohol, and the impact this has on social circles and personal self-esteem. Outcomes of Change: The positive outcomes of Sherry’s journey, including improved relationships, becoming a role model for her daughter, and feeling more aligned with her values. Practical Tips for Listeners: Dr. Sherry shares practical advice for those looking to cut back on alcohol or make other significant lifestyle changes, emphasizing the importance of honesty with oneself and seeking support. Resources: The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again. For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back. For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.

Dr. Sherry Price's Website: EpicYOU Explore programs, podcasts, and free resources focused on health, habits, and sustainable change. Podcast: Health, Habits, and Epic Living (formerly Drink Less Lifestyle) Focused on making better choices for lasting health improvements. Dr. Debi and Dr. Sherry close with reflections on the importance of recognizing when we are numbing or avoiding and taking the necessary steps to align our actions with the life we want to create. Dr. Sherry’s journey is a powerful reminder that change, while challenging, can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life.

Be sure to subscribe to the podcast for more insightful conversations and follow Dr. Sherry Price for additional resources on health and well-being.

If you’re struggling with similar challenges, consider the questions shared in this episode as a starting point for your own journey toward self-awareness and change.

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In this episode, we dive deep into the complexities of betrayal and trauma with Dr. Paula Rochelle. Dr. Rochelle shares her journey, including her experience working with traumatized children from orphanages and her personal story of surviving a plane crash. Together, we explore the impact of trauma on the brain and body, the process of healing, and the importance of forgiveness.

Key Points Discussed:

Introduction to Dr. Paula Rochelle Background in neuroscience and naturopathy. Experience working with traumatized children from third-world countries. Personal Trauma: The Plane Crash Dr. Rochelle's account of her plane crash and its aftermath. Emotional and psychological impact of surviving such an event. Understanding Trauma and Betrayal Differences between betrayal trauma and other types of trauma. Betrayal impacts the self, leading to feelings of rejection and abandonment. The Brain's Response to Trauma Role of the amygdala and hippocampus in trauma response. The gut-brain connection and its significance in trauma. Healing Strategies for Trauma Importance of a holistic approach: gut health, hydration, and nutrition. Use of neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine in healing. Children and Trauma Common symptoms in traumatized children: anger, sleep disturbances, and gut issues. The slow process of healing and the importance of community support. Hormonal Impact of Trauma How trauma affects hormones, particularly cortisol and estrogen. Strategies to balance hormones and support recovery. Neurofeedback and Neuro Emotional Techniques Explanation of neurofeedback and its role in regulating brain waves. Benefits of neuro emotional techniques and cognitive behavioral therapies. The Role of Forgiveness in Healing The neuroscience of forgiveness and its importance in emotional recovery. Different processes and tools to aid in forgiveness. Practical Tips for Healing The importance of sleep and its impact on trauma recovery. Identifying and addressing root causes of symptoms, such as parasites. Final Thoughts and Encouragement Dr. Rochelle’s assurance that healing is possible and individual. Encouragement to seek personalized paths to recovery and embrace willingness in the healing journey. Resources and Links:

Dr. Paula Rochelle’s Website: www.aysanahealthok.com PBT Institute’s 21-Day Forgiveness Journey: https://thepbtinstitute.com/forgiveness/ National Forgiveness Day: https://www.nationaldaycalendar.com/national-day/national-forgiveness-day-september-1 Conclusion: Dr. Paula Rochelle provides invaluable insights into the emotional healing process from betrayal and trauma. Her holistic approach, combining physical, mental, and emotional strategies, offers a comprehensive path to recovery. Whether dealing with personal trauma or supporting others through their healing journey, this episode is filled with practical advice and encouragement.

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Introduction: In today's episode, we discuss the challenges and strategies for coping with reminders of betrayal, such as old pictures, and how to turn these painful triggers into opportunities for growth and healing.

Key Points:

Coping with Painful Reminders: Addressing the pain caused by old pictures and other triggers that remind you of betrayal. Strategies to reframe these memories and use them as measures of your progress in healing. Community Insight: Real-life example from a recent Q&A call where a community member asked about handling painful reminders. Practical advice shared within the community and by our expert coaches. Practical Suggestions: Focus on the positive aspects of the memory, if any. Use reminders as a way to track your healing progress. Consider the experiences of others, such as how children might have enjoyed the moment. Managing Triggers: The importance of managing triggers like photos, music, TV shows, and movies. Understanding that while triggers lose their power over time, it’s important not to overwhelm yourself. Mindset vs. Choice: The significant difference between mindset and choice in the healing process. Empowering yourself by making deliberate choices to not let painful reminders ruin your day. The concept of a "choice point" where you decide not to let the trigger control you. Intentional Healing: Avoid indulging in painful thoughts and making a deliberate choice to focus on your well-being. Using choice as a tool to prevent giving power to negative experiences. Self-Induced Life Crisis: The concept of a self-induced life crisis as a pivotal moment where you decide to change your old ways. Making decisions that lead to new and positive outcomes, even if the path is uncertain. Support and Transformation: The importance of having support through the healing process. The role of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and its programs, such as Reclaim and Rebuild, in helping individuals and couples heal and transform. Conclusion: Betrayal is a painful experience, but by making deliberate choices and reframing your mindset, you can reclaim your power and move towards healing. The journey is challenging, but with the right support and strategies, you can transform your life.

Resources Mentioned:

The PBT Institute Reclaim Program Rebuild Program Join the Community: If you're ready to move through the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough, join our PBT community. We offer support from specialized coaches in areas such as reconciliation, rebuilding, separation, self-growth, mindset, somatic body-based healing, and grief.

Contact and Further Information:

Visit thepbtinstitute.com for more details on our programs and to join our community. Subscribe: Don't forget to subscribe to our podcast for more insights and support on your healing journey.

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Episode Description: In this episode, we dive into Stage Four of the healing process—a favorite stage for many. Discover the transformative power that lies within this pivotal stage and how it can propel you beyond your past experiences to a future filled with strength and resilience. We'll discuss the hero's journey, the symbolism of bamboo, and provide scenarios to illustrate what Stage Four looks like in real life.

Key Points:

Introduction to Stage Four: Reflecting on previous discussions about Stage Two (Shock Trauma D-Day) and Stage Three (Feeling Stuck). Introduction to Stage Four as a transformative and empowering stage. The Hero's Journey: Overview of the hero's journey and its relevance to personal transformation. Comparison of different stages in the hero's journey to the stages of healing. Symbolism of Bamboo: Explanation of why bamboo is a powerful symbol for Stage Four. How bamboo represents the strength and resilience built over time. Characteristics of Stage Four: Importance of willingness to let go of past grievances. Transition from being stuck in the past to looking forward to the future. Emphasis on building a supportive network to sustain growth. Real-Life Scenarios and Personas: Eli: Committed to personal growth through new routines and reflections. Samantha: Integrates healing practices into daily life with dedication. Lewis: Actively pursues a better life through deliberate actions and community involvement. Nia: Reclaims energy and tries new experiences, embracing life with enthusiasm. Marcus: Explores new pathways and hobbies, driven by curiosity and a quest for fulfillment. Transformative Power of Stage Four: The shift from focusing on past betrayals to envisioning and creating a new future. Encouragement to embrace new opportunities and interests. The importance of self-love and self-encouragement during this stage. Moving Forward: Discussion on the necessity of a supportive environment to maintain progress. The role of the PBT Institute in providing resources and community support. Encouragement to leave behind what no longer serves your growth and embrace new possibilities. Conclusion: Recap of the transformative nature of Stage Four. Encouragement to seek support and remain committed to personal growth. Invitation to rate, review, and share the podcast with others. Call to Action: If you’re enjoying the podcast, please rate and review it, and share it with someone who would appreciate it. For more support and resources, visit The PBT Institute.

Links and Resources:

The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again. For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back. For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke. Are you healed or hardened? Take the quiz

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Introduction to the Episode:

Dr. Debi introduces the topic: using math to aid in the healing process from betrayal. Dr. Debi acknowledges the challenge of healing and how unexpected tools, like math, can be surprisingly helpful.

Community Q&A Session: Description of the community's coffee chat sessions where members can ask any questions. Introduction to a specific member's struggle with being stuck in stage three of healing for 48 years.

Applying Math to Understand Rumination: Dr. Debi walks the member through calculating the impact of ruminating over 48 years. Step-by-step breakdown of the calculations:

Converting 48 years to 17,520 days. Estimating two hours of rumination per day. Calculating the total time spent ruminating: 35,040 hours or 1,460 days. Converting days to years: approximately four years of her life spent ruminating.

The Power of Awareness: The realization that four years were dedicated to unproductive rumination. Discussion on how this awareness can be a wake-up call to change.

The Cost of Stagnation: Reflection on what could have been achieved in those four years. Encouragement to consider the possibilities of personal growth, such as writing a book, starting a business, or pursuing a new passion.

Moving Forward: Emphasis on the importance of moving from stage three to stage four and five of healing.  The predictable nature of the healing journey when following the proven path.   Conclusion: Dr. Debi wraps up the episode by reiterating the importance of awareness and taking action.   Encouragement to seek support from The PBT Institute and its resources for those ready to move forward.  

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In this episode, we dive into the significance of National Forgiveness Day, a holiday founded by the PBT Institute. Dr. Debi discusses the complexities and challenges of forgiveness, especially in the context of betrayal, and offers insights and strategies for moving towards forgiveness and healing.

Key Points Covered:

Introduction to National Forgiveness Day: National Forgiveness Day was founded by the PBT Institute. The day emphasizes the importance and difficulty of forgiveness, both towards others and oneself. The Challenge of Forgiveness: Forgiveness can be particularly hard in situations of betrayal. Common reasons for the difficulty include societal pressure and personal emotions such as anger and resentment. Research Insights: Studies show that forgiveness leads to better emotional well-being when one feels safe and valued. Conversely, forgiveness can be detrimental when one does not feel safe or valued. Rebuilding Trust: Dr. Debi suggests replacing the concept of forgiveness with rebuilding trust in the early stages of healing. Rebuilding trust when feeling safe and valued can lead to better outcomes. The Path to Forgiveness: Acceptance is a more accessible first step than forgiveness. The emotional trajectory from sadness to anger, to pity, and finally to compassion. Forgiveness should be approached only when one is truly ready to avoid backfiring. Self-Forgiveness: It's crucial to forgive oneself for being too hard during painful times. Self-forgiveness should follow genuine remorse, regret, and restitution. The Impact of Unforgiveness: Holding onto grudges can occupy mental space and hinder personal growth. Examples of situations requiring forgiveness: misdiagnoses, betrayal by colleagues, friends, or family members. Health Benefits of Forgiveness: Forgiveness can lead to significant physical and emotional healing. Example: A participant in a forgiveness journey healed from a 70-year digestive issue after two weeks. The 21-Day Forgiveness Journey: The host describes a 21-day forgiveness journey that includes daily stories, lessons, and practical exercises. Participants track their progress through a forgiveness tracker. Success Stories: Participants from the previous year experienced significant transformations and improved well-being. Many moved from initial resistance to forgiveness within the first week. Dr. Debi invites listeners to join the 21-day forgiveness journey starting from National Forgiveness Day. Different levels of involvement are available, including live sessions and replays. Special features include fireside chats for personal interaction and guidance.

Visit nationalforgivenessday.com to sign up for the 21-day forgiveness journey. Choose a person or situation to forgive and join the journey to experience personal transformation and healing.

Forgiveness is a powerful tool for personal growth and well-being.

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform!

Stay tuned for our next episode, where we will explore the stages of healing from betrayal and more tips on building a resilient mindset.

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In this episode, I share insights from a recent VIP retreat where I worked with a small group of clients to help them transform their lives and move fully from stage three to stages four and five of healing from betrayal. The key theme that emerged was the importance of willingness. Here are the five crucial traits of willingness that can significantly impact your healing journey: Willingness to Move Out of Your Comfort Zone: Growth begins outside your comfort zone. Change won’t happen if you stay within familiar confines. Challenge yourself to embrace discomfort as a sign of progress. Willingness to Venture into the Unknown: Stepping into the unknown is necessary for true transformation. This means being open to new experiences and trusting the process, even when the outcome is uncertain. Willingness to Think Bigger: Expand your perspective and challenge your current limitations. Thinking bigger allows you to break free from restrictive beliefs and envision a more empowered future. Willingness to Give Up Your Story: Letting go of the painful narrative that defines your betrayal allows for the creation of a more empowering story. This shift is crucial for moving beyond being stuck in past hurt. Willingness to Embrace Hard Now, Easy Later: Short-term discomfort and hard work lead to long-term ease and fulfillment. Making drastic changes and addressing the root issues head-on is essential for lasting transformation. Key Takeaways: Comfort Zone: Life and change happen outside of your comfort zone. Embrace discomfort as a sign of growth. Unknown: Being willing to venture into the unknown can lead to significant personal growth and new opportunities. Bigger Thinking: Expand your mindset to achieve more than you initially believed possible. New Story: Reframe your betrayal story into one of empowerment and transformation. Hard Now, Easy Later: Embrace short-term challenges for long-term ease and success. Reflection Questions: Are you willing to move past your comfort zone? Are you open to venturing into the unknown? Can you challenge yourself to think bigger? Are you ready to let go of your current story? Will you embrace hard now for an easier later? Action Steps: Reflect on the areas where you may be stuck in your comfort zone. Identify any fears you have about venturing into the unknown and challenge them. Set a goal to expand your thinking beyond current limitations. Write a new narrative for your betrayal experience that empowers you. Commit to making the hard changes now for long-term benefits. Join the Journey: If you're interested in participating in a future VIP retreat or working within The PBT Institute, reach out and get on the list. Embrace these five traits of willingness to transform your healing journey. Connect with Us: Website: The PBT Institute https://thepbtinstitute.com

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In this episode, we dive into one of the most transformative topics: turning pain into purpose. We explore how individuals can harness their pain and trauma to fuel personal growth, resilience, and transformation. The conversation touches on various aspects of betrayal and the journey from hurt to healing. Key Topics Discussed: The Resilience of the Human Spirit: Observations on how thought leaders and individuals overcome trauma and crisis. The empowering potential seen in people who turn their pain into purpose. Personal Journey of Betrayal and Healing: Dr. Debi shares a personal story of betrayal by close family members and the subsequent journey of healing. The creation of a program based on The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough and its success. The PBT Institute: Founding The PBT Institute to provide a space for healing based on research and proven methods. Two certification programs offered by the institute: Certified PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Coach or Practitioner. Certified PBT Support Group Host. The Role of Certified Coaches and Practitioners: The importance of coaches and practitioners representing the work and maintaining authenticity. Stories of transformation from devastation to strength among the certified coaches and practitioners. Support Group Hosts: The significance of support during times of betrayal and the reluctance to seek it due to shame and embarrassment. The role of certified support group hosts in providing a safe space for healing. The Power of Support and Community: The detrimental effects of suffering in silence and the benefits of having supportive networks. Writing the book "Trust Again" to provide guidance for those healing from betrayal. Transformative Stories: Sharing inspiring stories of individuals who turned their pain into purpose, including a story shared by Tony Robbins. Personal anecdotes about breaking harmful patterns and creating positive changes intentionally. Empowerment through Teaching and Sharing: Encouragement to use personal experiences to teach and inspire others. The concept of turning pain into purpose as a way to empower and bring fulfillment. Invitation to Join the PBT Community: Information on the PBT certifications and how they can help individuals turn their experiences into a purpose-driven mission. Encouragement to take actionable steps towards transforming personal pain into a source of empowerment and support for others. Turn YOUR Pain into Purpose: If you have a desire to help others through their journey of betrayal and healing, consider becoming a certified PBT coach, practitioner, or support group host. Visit The PBT Institute website for more information on certifications and resources. Links and Resources: PBT Institute Certification Programs Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner: https://thepbtinstitute.com/get-certified/ Certified PBT Support Group Host: https://thepbtinstitute.com/certified-support-group-host/ Trust Again Book: Join the PBT Community: https://thepbtinstitute.com Final Thoughts: Embrace your experiences and turn them into a purpose-driven mission. Do not let fear or self-doubt prevent you from helping others with the valuable lessons you've learned. Tune in next time for more inspiring discussions and actionable insights!

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In this episode, we delve into Stage Three of the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough. If you're unsure which stage you're in, by the end of this episode, you'll have a clear understanding. We cover: The feelings, personas, and experiences typical of Stage Three. Why Stage Three is the most common stage where people get stuck. The consequences of staying in Stage Three and how to move forward. Key Points Understanding Stage Three Common Feelings and Experiences: Stage Three is characterized by small self-benefits like being right, blaming others, and getting sympathy without having to rebuild trust. Negative Thought Patterns: The mind starts believing destructive thoughts, leading to deeper entrenchment in Stage Three. Energy Attraction: Like energy attracts like energy, resulting in circumstances and relationships that confirm the negative state. Personas in Stage Three Alex: Struggles with unanswered questions and the fear of confronting raw emotions, leading to a loop of indecision. Jordan: Uses distractions like TV, food, and alcohol to avoid the pain of betrayal. Taylor: Experiences resignation, believing life will never get better and settling into a colorless routine. Morgan: Feels profound exhaustion and lethargy, unable to muster the energy for significant change. Symptoms and Consequences Post Betrayal Syndrome: Symptoms appear in Stage Two and persist into Stage Three, where they are often medicated and suppressed rather than healed. Therapy and Support Groups: Without true transformation, therapy and support groups can become places where individuals stay stuck by repeatedly rehashing their stories. Numbing, Avoiding, Distracting: Common tactics to avoid dealing with raw emotions, leading to long-term habits that reinforce the Stage Three state. Moving Beyond Stage Three Recognizing the Trap: Understand that Stage Three is a trap, likened to quicksand, making it one of the hardest stages to leave. Letting Go: To move to Stage Four, one must let go of the benefits and familiarities of Stage Three. Transformation Begins in Stage Four: Real healing and transformation start in Stage Four, where new beginnings and true growth occur. Practical Steps and Resources The PBT Institute: Offers daily live classes, programs, masterclasses, and an incredibly supportive community to help you move through the Stages. Books: "Trust Again" and "From Hardened to Healed" provide deeper insights and practical advice for those stuck in Stage Three. Community Support: Engage with others who are also on the journey from betrayal to breakthrough, fostering mutual growth and support. Conclusion Stage Three is a challenging but surmountable part of the betrayal recovery process. By recognizing the signs, understanding the personas, and utilizing the right resources, you can move forward to Stage Four and beyond, achieving true transformation and healing. Connect with Us Website: The PBT Institute Books: Trust Again | From Hardened to Healed Join us in the next episode as we continue exploring the stages and providing insights to help you on your journey from betrayal to breakthrough.

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Episode Summary: In this episode, we address a common and challenging scenario faced by many who have experienced betrayal. How do you handle social situations where the topic of betrayal comes up, and you find yourself feeling uncomfortable, angry, or even embarrassed? We provide practical advice and strategies to help you navigate these moments with confidence and poise. This episode is inspired by a question from a PBT Institute member, and it's dedicated to helping you manage these difficult conversations and emotions. Key Points: Introduction: Addressing a common and relatable question from a PBT Institute member about dealing with betrayal conversations in social settings. Emotional Reactions: Common feelings of discomfort, anger, embarrassment, and confusion in social situations where betrayal is discussed. The internal conflict of wanting to contribute to the conversation versus the urge to withdraw. Strategies for Managing the Conversation: When They Don't Know: Have a prepared, neutral statement ready to contribute to the conversation. Excuse yourself politely to get a non-alcoholic drink or take a break if the conversation becomes too overwhelming. When They Do Know: Recognize the lack of empathy or consideration in others' comments. Prepare a response or choose to walk away from the conversation. Consider addressing the issue directly if you feel the person is worth educating about your sensitivity to the topic. Rebuilding After Betrayal: Addressing the judgment and criticism faced when choosing to rebuild a relationship after betrayal. Understanding that rebuilding involves both partners transforming and not reverting to their old selves. The importance of recognizing and demanding new levels of respect and behavior from a partner during the rebuilding process. Handling Social Judgments: Being prepared for others' fixed opinions and limited understanding of personal growth and change. The importance of maintaining a focus on your own healing and the new dynamics in your relationship. Evaluating Your Social Circle: Assessing whether the conversations you are part of reflect your growth and new values. Seeking out and surrounding yourself with people who support your journey and share similar goals of personal development and growth. Final Thoughts: Emphasizing the need for self-care, preparation, and proactive strategies in handling social situations involving betrayal. Encouraging listeners to continuously seek environments and relationships that align with their personal growth and healing journey. Quotes to Remember: "Hard now, easy later. Easy now, hard later. Take your pick because it’s going to be one of those two." "What you think of me is none of my business." "Rebuilding is deliberate and intentional. It is all about redefining relationships based on new rules and respect." Resources Mentioned: PBT Institute for further support and resources. Wayne Dyer and Neale Donald Walsch quotes for inspiration and perspective. Call to Action: If you are struggling with these social situations or need more support in your healing journey, consider joining the PBT Institute. Reach out for guidance, tools, and a community that understands and supports your path to healing and transformation. Outro: Thank you for tuning in. Remember, this work is for the brave and transformative. Equip yourself with the tools and support needed to navigate these challenging moments, and know that you are not alone. See you next time. Links: The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com For the betrayed-Reclaim: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/ For the betrayer-Rebuild: https://thepbtinstitute.com/rebuild-program/

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Introduction: The episode focuses on regrets, especially within the context of betrayal, and explores how to manage and prevent them. Regret can be about any decision in life, not just betrayal. Key Points: Understanding Regret: Regret often leads to two choices: avoiding it due to its magnitude or cleaning it up if possible. Both betrayers and betrayed individuals experience regret, though in different forms. Regrets in Betrayal: Betrayers regret their actions and the harm caused to their loved ones. Betrayed individuals may regret their responses, actions taken out of hurt, or their decision to stay. General Regrets: Common regrets include missed opportunities (e.g., job offers, travel, not having more children), not standing up for oneself or others, and sacrificing personal health for work. Dealing with Current Regrets: Identify the emotion or need behind the regret and find a healthy way to satisfy it now. Address and clean up misunderstandings or hurtful actions by communicating and making amends. Preventing Future Regrets – Regret Prevention Plan (RPP): Projection: Think ahead about how your actions will affect others. If it’s likely to hurt someone, don’t do it. Highest Self Check: Ask if the best version of yourself would take the action you're considering. Future Reflection: Consider how you’ll feel about your actions years from now. Will you be proud or regretful? Applying the RPP: For betrayals, the betrayer needs to actively work on rebuilding trust and addressing their partner’s pain. For the betrayed, reflect on what can be learned from the experience and how to act differently in the future. Growth from Regret: Use regret as a learning tool to develop wisdom and improve future decision-making. Growth occurs when you step out of your comfort zone and address uncomfortable feelings.

Conclusion: Regret can be a powerful catalyst for positive change if approached with a constructive mindset. By applying the RPP, you can minimize future regrets and handle past regrets more effectively. Tune in to the upcoming podcast episode for a deeper dive into the Regret Prevention Plan and more examples on managing regrets. The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com

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Episode Overview: In this episode, we dive into the sensitive topic of abuse with Dr. Jennifer Gardella. Jennifer shares her personal journey through abusive relationships, highlighting the subtle and often overlooked signs of abuse. This episode serves as a guide to recognizing, understanding, and healing from abuse. Key Points: Jennifer’s Story: Jennifer explains how abuse can start subtly, often with a belief system instilled from a young age that one is not worthy and must depend on others. She shares her experience of unknowingly attaching herself to an abuser who initially seemed perfect, a process known as love bombing. Understanding Love Bombing: Love bombing involves excessive compliments, gifts, and attention early in the relationship, creating a trauma bond. Examples include lavish gifts and expensive vacations within weeks of meeting. The Cycle of Abuse: Abusers slowly pull their victims deeper into the relationship, gaining control and manipulating them. Jennifer discusses how her abuser encouraged her to move in with him and gradually isolated her from her own life and career. Impact on Family: Jennifer’s children played a significant role in her realization and escape from the abusive relationship. Her children saw the abuse and were instrumental in encouraging her to leave. The Role of COVID-19: The pandemic acted as a catalyst for Jennifer to leave her abusive situation. She shares how she and her daughters used the opportunity to move out and start anew. Recognizing Domestic Violence: Domestic violence is a systematic pattern of power and control, not just physical abuse. It includes emotional, psychological, and financial manipulation. Healing Journey: Jennifer emphasizes the importance of doing the work to heal, including therapy, support groups, and programs. She highlights the effectiveness of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) in her healing process. Advice for Victims and Supporters: For victims: It's okay to take time to leave; do safety planning. For supporters: Be gentle and supportive, understanding the complexities of leaving an abusive relationship. For everyone: Do the work to heal, and find a specialist or program that resonates with you. Final Thoughts: Jennifer encourages everyone to seek help and support, emphasizing that healing is a personal journey that can be done privately. Learn More About Dr. Jennifer Gardella: Visit her website: JenniferGardella.com (under construction but accessible). Resources: The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com

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Episode Description: In this episode, we dive into the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough, with a particular focus on Stage Two. Dr. Debi discusses the physical, mental, and emotional experiences at each stage and offers insights into how to navigate through them. Drawing from real-life personas, the episode aims to help listeners recognize their own experiences and feel less alone in their journey.

Key Points Covered:

Introduction to the Five Stages: Overview of The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough. Explanation of how the stages impact individuals physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The importance of moving through each stage to reach healing. Focus on Stage Two - Shock and Disorientation: Description of Stage Two as a state of being blindsided and feeling like your world has been turned upside down. The psychological impact, described as a "psychological earthquake," where life is divided into before and after the betrayal. Personas of Stage Two: Julian (Shock and Disorientation): Frozen in time, grappling with the reality of betrayal. Leila (Exhaustion): Struggling with extreme fatigue and feeling like every task is monumental. Kevin (Overwhelmed): Overcome by emotions and the chaos of daily life. Sue (Mental Turmoil): Experiencing brain fog and inability to think clearly. Nathan (Restlessness and Insomnia): Unable to sleep, plagued by intrusive thoughts. Jessica (Concentration Issues): Struggling with focus and cognitive clarity. Diane (Battle on All Fronts): Dealing with physical, mental, and emotional distress simultaneously. Jenna (Losing Ground): Feeling like life is unraveling and clinging to routines. Mike (Survival in Question): Questioning survival and the future amidst piercing pain. Carla (Doubt and Despair): Doubting the authenticity of past relationships and struggling with trust. Impact of Betrayal on Physical and Mental Health: Discussion on how chronic stress from betrayal affects the body, leading to issues like digestive problems and physical pain. The role of cortisol in stress response and its long-term impact. Moving Through Stage Two: Importance of recognizing you're not alone or crazy in these feelings. Encouragement to move from Stage Two to Stage Three (Survival Instincts Emerge) and beyond. The promise of a healthier, stronger, and more confident version of oneself in Stages Four and Five. Advice and Encouragement: Personal anecdotes and stories from the host's experience and study participants. Emphasis on the importance of not getting stuck in any stage, especially Stage Three. Final words of hope and encouragement for listeners to keep moving forward in their healing journey. Conclusion: The episode aims to provide comfort and validation to those going through betrayal, reassuring them that their feelings are normal and that there is a path to healing. Listeners are encouraged to seek help and continue progressing through the stages to reach a place of strength and confidence.

Call to Action:

Listeners are invited to join the PBT Institute for support and guidance through the stages of betrayal. Encouragement to take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz to understand the extent of their struggles. Next Episode Teaser: Stay tuned for the next episode where we will discuss Stage Three and how survival instincts emerge after the initial shock of betrayal.

Resources:

PBT Institute Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/pbs-quiz/ Subscribe & Follow:

Subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast platform. Follow us on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook for updates and community support. We hope this episode provided valuable insights and support. Remember, you're not alone, and there is a path to healing and breakthrough. See you next time!

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Episode Focus:

Exploring relationships beyond the primary betrayal relationship. Emphasizing the importance of evaluating and possibly redefining other relationships in your life as you move through healing stages. Key Themes:

Expanding the Focus Beyond Betrayal: Importance of assessing relationships with friends, colleagues, and other close connections. Discussion on how healing from betrayal often leads to changes in these relationships.
Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough: Emphasis on the transition from Stage 3 to Stage 4. How friendships and other relationships can either support or hinder your progress.
Impact of Personal Growth on Relationships: Outgrowing certain friendships as you evolve. Fear of outgrowing supportive groups or relationships can lead to self-sabotage.
Evaluating Current Relationships: Asking key questions about the role and value of each relationship. Considering if friendships are seasonal, for a reason, or potentially lifelong.
Personal Stories and Examples: Examples of how relationships have influenced personal growth. Stories of friends who came into Dr. Debi’s life at pivotal moments, providing direction and inspiration.
Identifying Relationship Dynamics: Recognizing when relationships are no longer serving your growth. Importance of having supportive, growth-oriented people in your life.
Intentional Relationship Building: Deliberately seeking out relationships that align with your new interests and growth. Balancing different types of friends for various needs (e.g., fun, support, intellectual engagement). Navigating Changes in Relationships: Strategies for managing relationships with those who may not be growing at the same pace. Encouraging open conversations to redefine relationship dynamics.
Letting Go and Moving Forward: Grieving the loss of relationships that no longer fit. Sending love and light to those you let go, and embracing new relationships

Final Thoughts: Regularly assessing and redefining your relationship needs. Embracing change and growth as a natural part of life. Actionable Steps:

Conduct a relationship inventory: Evaluate the role and contribution of each person in your life. Define your current relationship needs based on who you are now and who you are becoming. Seek out new relationships that align with your growth and interests. Have open conversations with current friends to see if they can grow with you. Let go of relationships that no longer serve you with love and respect. Conclusion:

Relationships play a crucial role in personal growth and healing. Being intentional about the people you surround yourself with can significantly impact your journey from betrayal to breakthrough. The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com

Reclaim (our most popular program): https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/

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Introduction Host: Dr. Debi Silber Guest: Elizabeth Kipp, a beloved coach at the PBT Institute Topic: Exploring how betrayal impacts the chakras and the journey of healing through the body's energy centers. Segment 1: Introduction to Chakras What are Chakras? Chakras are seven main energy vortices in the body from the base of the spine to the top of the head. Each chakra corresponds to specific physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects. Overview of the Seven Chakras Root Chakra: Base of the spine, related to fear, relationships, safety, and resources. Sacral Chakra: Pelvis, associated with creativity, intimacy, and guilt. Solar Plexus Chakra: Below the ribcage, the power center, associated with shame and boundaries. Heart Chakra: Chest area, involves grief, despair, and betrayal. Throat Chakra: Communication and expression. Third Eye Chakra: Intuition and perception, clarity versus illusion. Crown Chakra: Top of the head, connection to oneness and higher power. Segment 2: How Betrayal Affects Each Chakra Root Chakra: Betrayal shatters the sense of safety and security, impacting family and resources. Sacral Chakra: Leads to guilt and loss of creativity and intimacy. Solar Plexus Chakra: Betrayal affects personal power, leading to feelings of shame and anger. Heart Chakra: Directly hit by betrayal, causing grief, despair, and heartache. Throat Chakra: Impacts the ability to express oneself and communicate effectively. Third Eye Chakra: Creates confusion and illusion, making it hard to see the truth. Crown Chakra: Breaks the sense of connection and oneness, leading to feelings of isolation. Segment 3: Healing Through the Stages of Betrayal Stage 1: The Setup All chakras are affected as the sense of safety and connection is destroyed. Stage 2 & 3: Breakdown and Survival Instincts Emerge Continues to affect all chakras, leading to a full-blown crisis in physical, emotional, and spiritual realms. Stage 4: Finding and Adjusting to a New Normal Focus on the Solar Plexus and Throat Chakras. Regaining personal power and finding one's voice. Setting new boundaries and learning to trust oneself. Stage 5: Healing and Rebirth Focus on the Third Eye and Crown Chakras. Moving from illusion to intuition and feeling a sense of oneness. Developing a new worldview and trusting intuition. Segment 4: Practical Steps for Healing Daily Practices Engage in physical practices like yoga to clear energy blocks. Use specific sounds and hand positions (mudras) to balance chakras. Breathing exercises to regulate the nervous system and regain a sense of power. Creating New Habits Consistency in practice to break negative patterns and create new, positive habits. Importance of Community Healing within a supportive community to share pain and progress together. Conclusion Key Takeaways Betrayal impacts every chakra, requiring holistic healing. Engaging in physical, emotional, and spiritual practices is crucial. Support and community play a vital role in the healing journey. Future Plans Exciting discussion about co-authoring a book on the stages of healing and chakras. Resources The PBT Institute: Learn more about the programs and coaching available. Elizabeth Kitt: Explore Elizabeth's work and coaching services. Contact The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com The Reclaim Program: (Where Coach Elizabeth can help you): https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/ Stay tuned for more insightful discussions on healing from betrayal and balancing your chakras on our next episode!

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In this episode, we are joined by Lisa Zeiderman, a seasoned attorney specializing in family law, to dive into the often challenging topics of prenuptial agreements, co-parenting, and navigating divorce. Lisa brings her wealth of knowledge and experience to the table, offering practical advice and valuable insights for those who are considering marriage, going through a separation, or managing co-parenting responsibilities. Throughout the conversation, we explore the intricacies of prenuptial agreements, highlighting their importance in fostering transparency and financial planning between partners. Lisa shares real-life examples of successful and unsuccessful prenup negotiations, providing a clear understanding of how to approach this sensitive subject. Moving into the realm of divorce and co-parenting, Lisa discusses the critical factors in ensuring the well-being of children and maintaining effective communication between parents. She recommends useful tools like co-parenting apps and emphasizes the need for a support team, including therapists and financial advisors, to navigate the complexities of divorce. Lisa also addresses the challenges of dealing with manipulative behavior, particularly from narcissistic individuals, and the importance of exposing dishonesty in court. Additionally, she offers strategies for handling interference from extended family members, ensuring that the child's best interests remain the focal point. This episode is a must-listen for anyone facing the difficult dynamics of prenuptial agreements, divorce, or co-parenting. Lisa's expert guidance and compassionate approach provide a roadmap for managing these situations with clarity and confidence. Key Points: Prenuptial Agreements: Acknowledge the financial partnership in marriage. Helps avoid costly litigation in case of divorce. Facilitates transparency and financial discussions. Covers issues like separate property, inheritance, budgeting, and spousal support. Navigating Divorce and Co-Parenting: Importance of discussing children's needs and parenting arrangements. Emphasizes the need for clear and concise communication. Recommends co-parenting apps like Our Family Wizard for effective communication and coordination. Highlights the significance of fostering a healthy relationship between children and both parents. Addresses concerns about abusive or addicted parents and the need for supervised access when necessary. Advises against unilateral decisions during litigation and stresses the importance of consulting a team of professionals, including therapists, financial advisors, and attorneys. Dealing with Narcissistic Behavior: Acknowledges the challenge of dealing with manipulative behavior in court. Emphasizes the importance of exposing lies and maintaining credibility. Suggests selecting an attorney who can effectively advocate against such behavior. Handling Family Interference: Advises taking control of situations where family members interfere. Stresses the importance of maintaining boundaries and prioritizing the child's well-being. Building a Support Team: Recommends building a team of advisors to navigate divorce proceedings effectively. Mentions organizations like Savvy Ladies and Family Legal Care for additional support. Contact Information: Lisa Zeiderman: https://lisazeiderman.com SavvyLadies.org: https://www.savvyladies.org

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In this episode, we dive into the complexities of handling various social events after experiencing betrayal. Whether it’s a wedding, a backyard party, or any significant occasion, navigating these situations can be particularly challenging. We discuss strategies for the betrayed, how to maintain composure and focus, and ways to protect yourself emotionally. Key Points: Reflecting on a recent wedding experience. Addressing the difficulty of attending events post-betrayal. Exploring the emotional and social dynamics involved. Pre-Event Preparation: Envision a Positive Outcome: Mentally prepare and visualize the event going smoothly. Energetic Protection: Techniques such as imagining a protective bubble around yourself to block negativity. Setting Intentions: Focus on the person or reason for the event, not the betrayer. During the Event: Mindset: Keep the focus on the celebration and not on personal pain. Handling Conversations: Have a prepared response for well-meaning but intrusive questions (e.g., "I'm working on it, thank you for asking"). Avoid discussing your betrayal in detail. Avoiding Numbing Agents: Be cautious with alcohol and other numbing behaviors to maintain control and judgment. Boundary Setting: Plan how long you will stay and how you will exit if needed. Decide on boundaries for discussing personal matters. Post-Event Reflection: Celebrate your strength and courage in attending the event. Acknowledge and validate your efforts and progress. Healing and Progress: Recognize the difference in conversations and feelings at various stages of healing. Aim to speak from the scar, not the wound. Understanding the journey through The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough. Final Thoughts and Encouragement: Embrace self-love and compassion throughout the process. Continual progress leads to easier handling of such events. The PBT Institute is here to support your journey to your Stage five self. Quotes: "Choose the regret that stinks less." "You don't want to speak from the wound; you want to speak from the scar." "Betrayal is one of the most painful of the human experiences, but you can and will move through it." Resources: PBT Institute TEDx Talks by Dr. Debi: "Stop Sabotaging Yourself" and "Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome?" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyqOR69dHiU  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XX30i6nC7ro  Contact: For support and more information, visit the PBT Institute. https://thepbtinstitute.com Discover practical strategies for navigating events after betrayal in this insightful episode. Learn how to protect yourself emotionally, handle difficult conversations, and maintain focus on the celebration. Tune in for tips on setting boundaries, avoiding regrets, and progressing through the healing stages.

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The episode begins with an exploration of how betrayal can shatter confidence and disrupt life, affecting relationships, self-worth, and trust. Main Discussion:

The concept of confidence is unpacked, describing it as a quality earned through overcoming uncomfortable experiences and reflecting on them to grow stronger. Dr. Debi shares personal anecdotes and observations about opportunities lost due to a lack of confidence and the regret that follows. A detailed examination of how betrayal specifically impacts confidence, leading to self-doubt and a reinforced cycle of negative beliefs about oneself. The process of rebuilding confidence is discussed as taking on challenges, reflecting on the outcomes, and gradually making new decisions that reinforce a positive self-view. Key Points:

Definition of Confidence: Confidence is viewed as a result of surviving and reflecting on challenging experiences. Impact of Betrayal: Betrayal uniquely shatters confidence by making one question their judgments and the intentions of others. Rebuilding Strategy: Confidence can be rebuilt by confronting new challenges, reflecting on these experiences, and adjusting behaviors to reinforce positive self-perceptions. Stages of Rebuilding Confidence:

Dr. Debi outlines The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough, emphasizing the importance of each Stage in recovering and building back confidence. Examples include setting boundaries, saying no when necessary, and embracing new opportunities to test one's limits and capabilities. Practical Advice:

Listeners are encouraged to identify and take on one new challenge that can help build their confidence. This could be anything from wearing something different, starting a new activity, or engaging in a new conversation. Conclusion:

The episode wraps up with a call to action for listeners to share their own experiences with rebuilding confidence after betrayal and a reminder to check out the resources available at The PBT Institute. Additional Resources:

The PBT Institute for further support and resources on dealing with betrayal and building confidence: https://thepbtinstitute.com PBT Corporate: https://thepbtinstitute.com/corporate/

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In this enlightening episode, we dive deep into the complexities of handling life post-betrayal and navigating the path to divorce with financial experts Becky Wuest Creavin and Patti Janco Tupper. Both speakers share invaluable advice on dealing with the unexpected challenges that come with becoming suddenly single, particularly after a betrayal. Here's what we covered:

Understanding Betrayal and Its Consequences: Discussion on how betrayal impacts relationships and when it might lead to divorce. The importance of understanding whether reconciliation or separation is the right path, and the significance of establishing a plan if divorce seems imminent. Financial Preparedness: Patti and Becky emphasize the crucial steps for financial preparedness, especially for women. Key actions include understanding your assets and liabilities, establishing credit, and knowing your financial advisors. They discuss the importance of creating a comprehensive financial picture before making any major decisions. Immediate Steps Post-Divorce Announcement: How to cope when you are blindsided by divorce. Practical advice on assessing personal spending, understanding the costs of maintaining assets, and recognizing personal financial habits. Choosing the Right Legal Help: Tips on selecting the appropriate attorney for your divorce, considering whether a more aggressive approach (a "shark") or mediation is suitable for your situation. They highlight the balance between getting fair settlements and avoiding excessive legal fees. Post-Divorce Financial Management: The significance of revising wills, insurance policies, and beneficiary designations post-divorce. It's crucial to update these documents to reflect your new status and ensure that your financial and legal affairs are in order. Long-Term Financial Security: Advice on consulting with financial advisors to ensure long-term viability of your financial plans. They stress the importance of understanding whether you can sustain your lifestyle post-divorce. Success Stories: Becky and Patti share inspiring success stories of clients who navigated through the financial turmoil of divorce to achieve stability and confidence in managing their finances independently. Final Thoughts: Encouragement to seek help and ask questions without feeling embarrassed about lacking financial knowledge. The importance of being proactive, informed, and engaged in managing your finances, especially in times of personal upheaval. Where to Learn More: For more insights and advice from Becky West Creavin and Patti Janco Tupper, visit their LinkedIn profiles.

This episode provides essential strategies for anyone facing the daunting prospect of sudden singleness due to betrayal, ensuring they come out stronger and more financially savvy on the other side.

Guest Contact Information:

Becky Wuest Creavin: LinkedIn Patti Janco Tupper: LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/coripatti/ packyteam@bisonwealth.com 

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In this enlightening episode, Dr. Debi dives into the persistent struggles many face long after experiencing betrayal, challenging the notion that time alone heals wounds. Through personal anecdotes and scientific insights, the discussion revolves around the ineffective coping mechanisms and the essential Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough, providing a deep understanding of the healing process.

Key Topics Covered:

Misconception of Time in Healing: Exploring why the passage of time is not a reliable healer of betrayal. Discussion on how we can remain stuck in Stage three of healing indefinitely. Ineffectiveness of New Relationships: Addressing the false belief that starting new relationships can mend old wounds. Insights into why feelings of distrust and anxiety persist in new interactions. The Role of Beliefs in Healing: The significance of identifying and challenging deeply ingrained beliefs to facilitate recovery. Personal reflection on how unexamined beliefs shape behaviors and impede healing. Personal Story: Overcoming Overcommitment: Dr. Debi shares a personal story about managing a busy life with family and work, and the realization that slowing down was necessary for well-being. The Three Groups Who Don’t Heal: An in-depth look at the specific behaviors and mindsets of three groups identified in a study who failed to heal from betrayal. Discussion on how clinging to victimhood, avoiding emotional pain, and failing to impose consequences on the betrayer prevent healing. Transformation vs. Resilience: Differentiating between resilience (restoring the old) and transformation (creating anew). Emphasizing the need for radical changes and the potential for growth post-trauma. Strategies for Healing: Practical advice on moving through the stages of healing from betrayal. Encouragement to undertake personal transformations and reevaluate one’s beliefs and coping strategies. Conclusion:

The episode ends with a powerful call to view betrayal not just as a painful event, but as a pivotal opportunity for personal growth and transformation. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own healing journeys and consider making the bold changes necessary to not only recover but to thrive.

Next Steps:

For those looking to deepen their understanding of the topics discussed, additional resources and links are provided in the podcast description. Listeners are encouraged to subscribe for more insightful discussions on personal growth and overcoming life’s challenges. This episode serves as a comprehensive guide for anyone looking to navigate the complex path from betrayal to breakthrough, emphasizing the importance of active engagement in one’s own healing process. Links: The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com Reclaim Program: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/ Explore the journey from betrayal to breakthrough in this podcast episode, where we debunk the myth that time heals all wounds and delve into why new relationships often fail to mend past betrayals. Discover the crucial stages of healing and the power of transforming deeply ingrained beliefs. Join us for insights on overcoming the challenges of betrayal and turning trauma into an opportunity for personal growth.

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In this episode, we dive into a common but limiting mindset: resignation. Resignation leads many of us to accept less than we deserve, believing "this is just the way it is" and nothing can change. In this episode, Dr. Debi shares personal anecdotes and insights on how our beliefs shape our reality and how challenging and changing these beliefs can lead to significant transformation in our lives.

Key Points Discussed:

The Power of Resignation: Explore how resignation can limit our potential by convincing us to accept our current circumstances without question. Mindset and Reality: Learn how our mindset, particularly beliefs rooted in resignation, can shape our experiences and outcomes in life. Personal Anecdote: Dr. Debi shares a personal story about constantly being stopped for security checks while traveling, highlighting how a resigned belief led to a self-fulfilling prophecy. Rewiring Mindset: Discover strategies for challenging and changing limiting beliefs, focusing on a practical approach involving a mindset shift from resignation to empowerment. Beliefs vs. Facts: Understand the distinction between beliefs and facts, and how questioning our beliefs can lead to growth and change. Practical Tools for Change: Introduction of simple, practical tools like using a rubber band or hair tie to snap on your wrist as a reminder to question your beliefs and thoughts. The Role of Resilience in Overcoming Resignation: Insights into how resilience and a proactive approach to dealing with "weeds" (negative thoughts and beliefs) can nurture the "garden" of your mind, leading to a healthier, more fulfilling life. Transformation Through Belief Examination: An encouragement to examine and question every belief, especially those inherited or unchallenged, to create deliberate and intentional transformation. Episode Highlights:

Rewiring Your Mindset Experiment: Dr. Debi's experiment with changing a specific belief about being stopped at airport security showcases the power of mindset change and its impact on reality. Hard Now, Easy Later Philosophy: Discusses the concept of enduring short-term discomfort for long-term ease, especially relevant in the process of healing and personal growth. Betrayal and Belief Systems: Touches on how beliefs formed from experiences of betrayal can significantly impact your life and the importance of consciously creating a new version of oneself post-betrayal. Practical Exercise for Changing Beliefs: The use of a physical reminder to snap out of limiting beliefs and the importance of constantly questioning the validity and utility of our beliefs. Resources Mentioned:

The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com A community and resource for people going through betrayal, offering support, insights, and tools for healing and transformation.

We invite you to reflect on your beliefs, especially those that may stem from resignation. Challenge yourself to identify one belief this week that you can question and reframe. Remember, every belief you change is a step closer to the life you desire and deserve. If you're seeking support or more strategies on transforming your life post-betrayal, consider exploring the resources available at The PBT Institute.

Join us next time as we continue to explore the power of mindset, resilience, and transformation on your journey to becoming your best self.

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In this episode, we dive into the complex process of making decisions, emphasizing the impact our current state has on the choices we make. We explore the idea that the Stage of healing from betrayal we find ourselves in - whether it be Stage three, four, or five - significantly influences our decisions, urging listeners to strive for Stage five, where decisions come from a place of clarity and strength.

We discuss real-life examples from our members at the PBT® (Post Betrayal Transformation®) Institute, where people in the midst of healing from their betrayals are also often dealing with tough decisions around managing relationships and raising children post-betrayal. The strategy of 'playing out' each decision and checking in with our body response is suggested as a means to guide the decision-making process.

The concept of making decisions as if you’re already in Stage five is introduced, illustrating how this perspective can simplify decision-making and align actions with our highest self. This leads to a broader discussion about the consequences of decisions over time, the tendency to resist change, and the importance of envisioning and working towards the 'Stage five' version of ourselves.

We touch upon the personal journey of healing from betrayal and how this influences decision-making, sharing Dr. Debi’s own experience with pursuing a PhD in the midst of personal upheaval.

Finally, the episode provides actionable insights on how to begin aligning with the 'Stage five' version of ourselves immediately, regardless of the stage we are currently in. Dr. Debi encourages us to adopt small, intentional actions that reflect the higher self they aspire to be, both personally and professionally.

In closing, listeners are reminded to check in with their 'Stage five' selves to speed up the journey through the Stages from betrayal to breakthrough, turning the focus to intentionality in decision-making.

Key Points Discussed:

The influence of healing Stages on decision-making Strategies for effective decision-making during tough times The impact of long-term decision-making on personal growth and change Personal anecdotes highlighting the journey of growth post-betrayal Practical steps to align daily actions with one's highest self Remember:

Decision-making is a reflection of our current state, but it also shapes our future. By envisioning our 'Stage five' selves, we can make choices that propel us toward the breakthrough we seek. Links: The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com The Reclaim program: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/ PBT Corporate: https://thepbtinstitute.com/corporate/

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Welcome to today's episode where we dive into a nuanced and often overlooked form of betrayal: self-betrayal. This conversation talks about the complex relationship between betrayal by others and the acts of betrayal we commit against ourselves. Our exploration will provide insights into the manifestations of self-betrayal, the underlying reasons behind this behavior, and strategies for fostering self-awareness and healing.

Key Points Discussed:

The Nature of Self-Betrayal: We begin by defining self-betrayal as the act of going against your best interest, despite knowing better. Examples range from harmful dietary habits to engaging in relationships or activities that lead to negative emotions and outcomes. Common Examples of Self-Betrayal:

Continuously consuming unhealthy foods despite being aware of their negative impact. -Watching content that induces anxiety and fear. - Maintaining one-sided relationships where there is more taking than giving. Understanding the 'Why' Behind Self-Betrayal: It's crucial to recognize that self-betrayal is not a reflection of your character but rather a consequence of lacking the necessary tools, strategies, self-esteem or more. This segment aims to shift your perspective from self-blame to understanding and compassion. The Role of Awareness in Addressing Self-Betrayal: We emphasize the importance of recognizing how you feel after an act of self-betrayal as your personal way to know if this is what you’re doing. This awareness is a critical step towards change.

Personal Stories of Self-Betrayal: Drawing from Dr. Debi’s experience and insights from TEDx talks on Post Betrayal Syndrome® and self-sabotage, we share stories that highlight how self-betrayal can manifest in professional settings, personal development, and daily habits.

The Consequences of Self-Betrayal:

Emotional and physical tolls of self-sabotaging behaviors. The challenge of facing and moving through discomfort and unfamiliar situations. Strategies for Overcoming Self-Betrayal:

Identifying and understanding the root causes of self-betrayal. Making decisions based on what "stinks less" to foster growth and self-improvement. The significance of advancing to Stage Five for clarity and strength. Final Thoughts: The episode ends with an invitation to reflect on areas of their life where self-betrayal might be occurring. Through journaling and introspection, we encourage identifying actions and mindsets that align more closely with your highest and best self.

Calls to Action:

Reflect on your own experiences with self-betrayal. How does it manifest in your life? What steps can you take towards healing and self-compassion? Share your thoughts and breakthroughs with us. Your journey could inspire others to recognize and address their own patterns of self-betrayal. Next Episode Teaser: Stay tuned for our next episode where we'll explore the transformative power of vulnerability in personal growth and relationships. Discover how opening up about our struggles can lead to deeper connections and a stronger sense of self.

Thank You for Listening! We hope this discussion on self-betrayal has offered valuable insights and practical advice for navigating this challenging aspect of personal development. Join us next time as we continue to explore pathways to a more authentic and fulfilled life. Links: TEDx: Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome? TEDx: Stop Sabotaging Yourself The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com

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In this insightful episode, Vanessa Cardenas shares her personal journey of navigating betrayal, not only in her intimate relationships but also in the workplace. As a Certified PBT Support Group Host and Certified PBT coach, Vanessa brings a wealth of knowledge, compassion, and understanding to the discussion on how betrayal can profoundly impact one's professional life, regardless of whether the betrayal occurred within or outside the work environment.

Key Points Discussed:

Vanessa's Workplace Betrayal: Vanessa recounts her experience of feeling betrayed by her boss at a family-run dot com company, highlighting the emotional impact of unrecognized contributions and the lack of shared profits despite her significant role in the company's success. The Impact of Personal Betrayal: Vanessa opens up about the devastating effect of her husband's infidelity on her life, marking a clear before and after in her existence. She discusses the emotional turmoil, the sense of loss, and the journey towards healing and self-discovery. Healing Journey: Vanessa emphasizes the importance of seeking help and moving through the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough. She shares how embracing her true self and shedding others' expectations were crucial steps in her healing process. Transformation and Empowerment: Vanessa details her physical transformation, including significant weight loss and changes to her appearance as acts of reclaiming control. She also speaks about the mental and emotional growth she experienced, leading to newfound confidence and self-love. Workplace Dynamics Post-Betrayal: Vanessa discusses how her betrayals affected her productivity and emotional state at work. She highlights the challenges of maintaining professionalism while dealing with personal turmoil, including brain fog and heightened sensitivity to others' comments. PBT Corporate Initiative: The episode introduces the PBT Corporate initiative, aimed at supporting individuals in the workplace who are dealing with betrayal. Vanessa's role in this initiative reflects her unique ability to bridge her personal experiences of betrayal with her professional expertise. Parting Words:

Vanessa encourages listeners to acknowledge their pain, seek support, and embrace the journey of healing and transformation. She highlights the power of self-love, confidence, and the importance of reclaiming one's life after betrayal.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone struggling with the aftermath of betrayal, offering hope, practical advice, and a pathway to healing and empowerment.

Connect with Vanessa Cardenas:

https://www.understandingear.com/   https://www.instagram.com/trusted_advisor_for_betrayal/  https://www.youtube.com/@Vanessa-Cardenas  https://mypbtinstitute.com/certified-support-group-hosts-directory/ PBT Corporate: https://thepbtinstitute.com/corporate/ Becoming a Certified PBT Coach: https://thepbtinstitute.com/get-certified/ Becoming a Certified PBT Support Group Host: https://thepbtinstitute.com/certified-support-group-host/ The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com/

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The episode dives into the profound effects of betrayal and shattered trust in the workplace, particularly focusing on the aftermath and symptoms experienced by individuals. It outlines the experiences shared at the WBENC conference, highlighting the lack of support for dealing with betrayal-related trauma in corporate settings. The conversation emphasizes the need to address Post Betrayal Syndrome® symptoms to foster healthier work environments and personal growth. Symptoms of Post-Betrayal Syndrome (PBS) in the Workplace: Inability to Trust: 84% of individuals struggle with trust issues, impacting team collaboration and self-confidence. Resistance to Feedback: Distrust leads to skepticism about intentions behind feedback, hindering professional growth. Increased Conflict and Misunderstandings: Trust deficits contribute to workplace tension and hinder effective communication. Extreme Sadness: 80% experience emotional distress, affecting motivation and engagement at work. Withdrawal from Colleagues: Feelings of hurt and distrust lead to isolation and decreased participation in team activities. Impact on Creativity and Problem Solving: Emotional distress impairs cognitive functions necessary for innovative thinking and solution generation. Weight Changes and Digestive Issues: Physical manifestations of stress, such as weight fluctuations and digestive problems, further exacerbate workplace challenges. Anger and Increased Stress: Emotional turmoil leads to anger and heightened stress levels, affecting decision-making and interpersonal relationships. Loss of Internal Power: Individuals struggle with diminished confidence and autonomy, impacting productivity and collaboration. Importance of Healing: The conversation underscores the significance of addressing betrayal-related trauma to regain personal power and professional effectiveness. It highlights the transformative journey through the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough, offering hope for recovery and growth. The PBT Institute is presented as a resource for individuals and organizations seeking support in navigating post-betrayal challenges and fostering resilience. Conclusion: These stats show a comprehensive overview of the impact of betrayal and shattered trust in the workplace. It encourages us to recognize the signs of Post Betrayal Syndrome and explore avenues for healing and personal development. Discover how betrayal and shattered trust affect workplace dynamics in this insightful discussion. Explore the symptoms of post-betrayal syndrome, the impact on collaboration and productivity, and the importance of healing for personal and professional growth. Gain valuable insights and resources to navigate through betrayal-related challenges and foster resilience in the workplace. Links: The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com Corporate Solutions: https://thepbtinstitute.com/corporate/

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In this insightful episode, we dive deep into the complex issues of betrayal, shattered trust, and the journey towards healing. The discussion not only uncovers the painful cycle of repeat betrayals but also offers hope for anyone struggling to move past their traumas. We explore the concept of unhealed betrayals manifesting through different relationships in your life, the profound lessons to be learned from these experiences, and the importance of establishing better boundaries.

Key Points Discussed

Understanding Repeat Betrayals: The phenomenon of experiencing betrayal in various forms across different relationships is highlighted as a sign of an unhealed initial betrayal, offering an opportunity for profound personal growth. The Opportunity in Betrayal: Rather than seeing betrayal as solely a negative experience, it's framed as a chance to learn valuable life lessons, emphasizing that we’re lovable, worthy, and deserving of better. Post Betrayal Syndrome® (PBS®): Symptoms of Post Betrayal Syndrome®, along with feeling rejected, abandoned, or having a lack of confidence, are discussed as common responses to betrayal that need to be addressed for healing. Roots in Childhood Traumas: The discussion touches on how childhood experiences, particularly traumatic ones, shape our beliefs about ourselves and influence our future relationships and self-worth. The Power of Belief: The episode explores how beliefs formed from past experiences, especially negative ones, can dictate our life choices and relationships, underscoring the importance of challenging and changing these beliefs. From Hurt to Healed: Insights from the book "From Hardened to Healed" are shared, offering strategies to identify and change limiting beliefs formed from past betrayals. The PBT® (Post Betrayal Transformation®) Institute's Role: The episode highlights the work of The PBT Institute, including our signature Betrayal to Breakthrough program and how it helps people navigate through the Five Stages of healing from betrayal. Importance of New Beliefs for a New Path: The need to adopt new, empowering beliefs to replace the old, limiting ones is stressed as essential for personal growth and healing. Insights Offered

Healing Requires Awareness: Acknowledging that the first step towards healing is recognizing the beliefs that hold us back and deciding to adopt new, supportive beliefs that align with who we want to be. Bridges Over Affirmations: A discussion on how "bridges" — realistic, believable statements — can be more effective than traditional affirmations in creating positive change. The Role of Support in Healing: Emphasizing the importance of seeking the right type of support to navigate the challenging process of changing deeply ingrained beliefs and healing from betrayal. Life as a Reflection of Beliefs: The episode concludes with a powerful message that our lives are a representation of our beliefs, urging listeners to examine and revise their beliefs to create a life that truly reflects their worth and potential. Final Thoughts

The episode is a call to action for anyone struggling with the aftermath of betrayal to recognize the opportunity for transformation. It encourages listeners to reevaluate their beliefs, seek support, and embark on a path to healing and self-discovery.

Remember, healing from betrayal is not only possible; it's a journey towards becoming a stronger, more resilient version of yourself. Join us next time as we continue to explore the paths to healing and personal growth. Resources: The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com Trust Again 2.0: https://thepbtinstitute.com/trust-again/ Reclaim Program: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/

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In this deeply moving episode, we explore a story that powerfully embodies the journey from betrayal to breakthrough, shedding light on the profound impacts of addiction, loss, and recovery on family dynamics, faith, and personal growth.

Guest Story:

Our guest Ken Guidroz shares an incredibly personal and heartbreaking story that may resonate with many of our listeners. His 27-year-old son, struggling with a decade-long opioid addiction, was involved in a tragic accident that led to a man's death. This event not only brought unimaginable challenge and sorrow to the family but also led to profound introspection and transformation.

Challenges Faced:

The personal struggle of dealing with addiction within the family. The impact of a tragic accident on the guest's son and the entire family. Navigating the complexities of emotions, including feelings of betrayal by a loved one and even by God. The effects on his marriage and parenting approach. Book Highlight:

Ken discusses his award-winning book, "Letters to My Son in Prison," a poignant compilation of letters exchanged between him and his son. The book delves into the themes of betrayal, forgiveness, and the unyielding hope for redemption and transformation.

Key Insights:

Parenting: Reflections on what was learned through this harrowing experience and how it has shaped a new approach to parenting. Relationship with Son: The path to overcoming a decade of disappointment and addiction through heartfelt communication and support. Faith Rediscovered: A journey of finding God and spirituality beyond the confines of traditional religious practices. Marriage Resilience: Insights into how the marriage was tested and the unconventional compromises made to navigate through the toughest times. This episode is a testament to the power of resilience, the possibility of transformation in the face of despair, and the strength found in forgiveness and renewed faith. Join us as we navigate these delicate topics with compassion, offering hope and insights to those facing similar struggles.

Recommended Resources:

"Letters to My Son in Prison" kenguidroz.com Support groups for families dealing with addiction Counseling and spiritual guidance resources The PBT Institute https://thepbtinstitute.com Connect with Us:

We invite you to share your thoughts, stories, and insights with us. Connect through our social media channels or email us directly. Your story could be a beacon of hope for someone in the midst of their struggle.

Remember, you're not alone on this journey.

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Introduction to the 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough: Dr. Debi shares the significance of navigating through the 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough as a pathway to healing and rebuilding trust. Rebuild Program for Betrayers: Dr. Debi introduces a specialized program tailored for betrayers who have acknowledged their significant errors and are committed to changing them. This program, with certified PBT Coaches, their own program, community, etc., focuses on the betrayer’s healing and personal growth. Personal Growth After Betrayal: Reflecting on their personal journey of growth, Dr. Debi acknowledges the challenge of rebuilding yourself following betrayal. New boundaries, new ideas, new insights- everything is looked at, assessed and changed. Overcoming Betrayal and Trust Issues: Dr. Debi shares a betrayal’s impact on trust and relational safety. She also cautions against sharing too much and really knowing who to share such deeply personal feelings with. For example, sharing with those who offer genuine support rather than those who are asking out of curiosity. Selective Sharing and Supportive Relationships: Dr. Debi also stresses the importance of surrounding yourself with those who demonstrate unwavering support and refrain from judgment or gossip regarding personal struggles. Links: The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com Reclaim (for the betrayed): https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/ Rebuild (for the betrayer): https://thepbtinstitute.com/rebuild-program/

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In this episode, we explore the journey of overcoming betrayal and discovering personal freedom with Dr. Karin Louise. Dr. Karin shares her personal experiences of betrayal from close relationships and how these led to her professional focus on healing and transformation. Her story takes us from the shock of discovering her partner's infidelity to the deeper understanding of her own patterns and the spiritual awakening that followed. Dr. Karin's insights provide valuable lessons on navigating the aftermath of betrayal, the importance of self-care, and the power of redefining one's identity beyond the pain.

Key Points Discussed:

The Catalyst of Betrayal: Karin recounts the moment her life changed when she discovered her partner's infidelity, marking it as "D Day" on her calendar. This event triggered a cascade of revelations and the onset of deep personal and emotional turmoil. Connection to Childhood Trauma: The betrayal unearthed Karin's unhealed childhood trauma, revealing a pattern of abandonment and betrayal that had roots in her past. This recognition was a turning point in her healing journey. Navigating Post Betrayal Syndrome: Karin dives into the physical, mental, and emotional symptoms she faced following the betrayal, with Dr. Debi highlighting the concept of Post Betrayal Syndrome™ and its impact on her overall well-being. The Path to Healing and Transformation: Karin's journey led her to return to school, where she pursued further education in counseling and education, ultimately obtaining a PhD. This academic and personal growth period catalyzed significant breakthroughs in her understanding of trauma, healing, and self-awareness. Spiritual Awakening and Soul Contracts: A pivotal moment in Karin's story was a spiritual awakening that helped her understand the concept of soul contracts and the role they play in our relationships and life challenges. This new perspective offered her a sense of peace and a framework for understanding her experiences. Overcoming Guilt and Reclaiming Identity: Karin discusses the struggle with guilt and shame that often accompanies the healing process from betrayal. She emphasizes the importance of pushing through these feelings to reclaim one's identity and prioritize personal happiness and fulfillment. Finding Strength in Vulnerability: The episode touches on the courage required to face one's vulnerabilities and the strength found in acknowledging and working through them, rather than suppressing or ignoring the pain. Karin's story is a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the potential for growth and transformation that lies within the pain of betrayal. Her insights offer hope and guidance for anyone navigating the difficult journey of healing after being betrayed, underscoring the importance of self-care, personal growth, and the pursuit of a life defined by one's own terms of freedom and fulfillment.

Recommended Resources:

Dr. Karin Louise's book, The Fatherless Daughter Project Connect with Karin Louise: https://doctorkarin.com/ The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/pbs-quiz/ Explore healing and freedom after betrayal in this powerful episode. Dive into her personal journey from discovery to transformation, uncovering insights on overcoming trauma, navigating post betrayal syndrome, and the pivotal role of spiritual awakening. Learn how to reclaim your identity and find strength in vulnerability. A must-listen for anyone seeking to turn pain into purpose.

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Welcome to a new episode where we dive into the fascinating world of Human Design and how it can help in the healing process from betrayal. Join us as we explore this unique modality and its potential to provide deeper insights into our struggles and strengths.

Key Points from the Episode:

Introduction to Human Design as a new modality for healing from betrayal. The decision to incorporate Human Design into the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) framework.
Explanation of Human Design as a combination of the Chinese I Ching, astrology, the chakra system, Kabbalah, and quantum physics.
Discussion on the static nature of one's Human Design chart and its interpretation based on life experiences and astrological conditions.
Overview of the five types within Human Design: Manifesters, Manifesting Generators, Generators, Projectors, and Reflectors.
Personal insights from the host on being a Manifesting Generator and how it aligns with their nature of managing multiple projects.
The importance of understanding one's Human Design type to foster self-acceptance and effective decision-making.
Insights into how different types and centers in Human Design can influence your life, actions, and energy levels.
Exploration of the concept of the "not-self theme" in Human Design, where pushing and initiating can be counterproductive for certain types.
A brief overview of the centers in Human Design, including the emotional solar plexus and how it relates to empathy and absorbing energy from others.
Discussion on the significance of gates and channels in Human Design, and their role in defining our unique characteristics and life themes.
How Human Design can provide validation, self-understanding, and clarity, especially when healing from betrayal.
The importance of aligning with one's natural design to prevent burnout and promote wellness.
An invitation for listeners to learn more about their own Human Design through a session with the host, regardless of their membership status with the PBT Institute. Episode Highlights:

Human Design: A powerful tool in understanding your unique blueprint for processing experiences and making decisions. Manifesting Generators: Learn why multitasking and 'burning off energy' are natural and necessary for some. Types and Centers: How they define our interactions with the world and influence our personal energy. Empathy and Energy: Insights into why you might be more sensitive or reactive in certain situations. Healing from Betrayal: The role of Human Design in understanding your reactions and pathways to recovery. Resources Mentioned:

The PBT Institute Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/humandesign/ Human Design Readings: Available for booking to explore your individual design and how it can aid in healing from betrayal.

If you're intrigued by what Human Design might reveal about your path to healing and personal growth, consider scheduling a session with Dr. Debi. It's a step toward embracing your authentic self and transforming post-betrayal.

This episode introduces a different perspective on healing, highlighting the importance of self-knowledge and tailored recovery paths. Human Design may be the key to unlocking a deeper understanding of your journey through and beyond betrayal.

Stay tuned for our next episode, where we'll continue exploring innovative healing modalities and personal transformation strategies.

Remember, you can access more information and book your Human Design session at https://thepbtinstitute.com/humandesign/ . Join us to uncover the layers of your design and foster a more profound healing process.

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In this episode, Dr. Debi dives into the fascinating outcomes of what happened when she emailed her newsletter subscribers. She asked her audience a simple question: "If I can help you, respond to this email." The responses she received were incredibly telling, categorizing her audience into 4 groups based on their reactions to betrayal and their approach to healing. Join Dr. Debi as she breaks down these groups, shares her insights, and offers guidance on moving forward.

Key Points Discussed:

The Experiment: Dr. Debi sent out an email to her newsletter subscribers, offering help and asking for a response on how she could support them. The 4 Types that Emerged The Thrivers: This group shared their journey of overcoming betrayal by actively seeking healing and progress. They are beautiful examples of resilience and the willingness to move forward despite the pain. Dr. Debi shares her admiration for their determination and discusses how their proactive steps towards healing have led to significant personal growth and improvement in their health. The Sharers: People in this group opened up about their stories, seeking a safe space to express their experiences without judgment. Dr. Debi emphasized the importance of acknowledging where they are, offered them some strategies, and encouraged small steps towards change. The Resigners: These people feel stuck, believing there's nothing they can do to change their situation. Dr. Debi challenged this notion, explaining the dangers of staying in a resigned state and the impact it has on personal well-being and growth. The Skeptics: This group is characterized by a lack of trust, possibly as a result of their betrayal. Dr. Debi addressed the importance of rebuilding trust, not only in others but in themselves, to open up to healing and new opportunities. Dr. Debi’s Insights:

Healing requires intentional effort and movement through the 5 Stages of Betrayal to Breakthrough. Small, seemingly insignificant steps can lead to significant changes and improvements. Trust, though difficult to rebuild, is essential for healing and moving forward. Conclusion:

Each group represents a different approach to dealing with betrayal and healing. Dr. Debi encourages listeners to identify with a group and consider the suggested paths towards healing and transformation. She stresses the importance of moving through the 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough, using their pain for growth, and opening themselves up to trust and new possibilities as a result of healing.

Next Steps:

Reflect on which group you identify with and why. Consider the suggested actions and mindsets for moving forward and healing. Engage with the community, share your story, and consider reaching out for support if needed. Closing: Dr. Debi wraps up the episode by inviting listeners to use their trauma as a catalyst for transformation, encouraging them to not let past betrayals hold them back from the love, connection, and opportunities they deserve. Links: The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com The Reclaim Program: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/

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In this thought-provoking episode, we dive deep into the complexities of betrayal and the possibility of change for both the betrayer and the betrayed. The discussion sheds light on common questions surrounding betrayal, its aftermath, and the path toward healing and transformation.

Key Points Discussed:

The Possibility of Change: It's explored whether a betrayer can change. The answer is yes, highlighting that change is based on the betrayer's genuine desire for transformation and not on the expectations or desires of the betrayed. Types of Betrayers: Two distinct types of betrayers are identified: those who show no remorse, regret, or empathy, and those who, when they realize the impact of their actions, are awakened to the pain they've caused and show potential for change. The Path to Transformation: Insights are provided into the transformation process for betrayers, emphasizing the absence of shame and blame but highlighting the importance of accountability and deep work through coaching and specific programs designed to facilitate change. Healing for the Betrayed: The healing timeline for the betrayed can vary based on lots of factors, and the importance of their own healing journey, separate from the betrayer's transformation, is important. Communication and Acknowledgment: Strategies for effective communication are shared, advising betrayers on how to acknowledge their past actions and demonstrate their commitment to change, which rebuilds trust. The Role of Fear, Anger, and Vulnerability: The episode discusses how behind anger often lies deeper emotions such as fear and sadness, and how addressing these underlying feelings can help in the healing process. The Importance of Self-Transformation: The betrayed and the betrayer need to do their own healing work. When they do, they emerge healthier and more self-aware. Rebuilding Trust and Safety: Tips are offered on rebuilding trust and creating a sense of safety within the relationship, emphasizing the betrayer's role in consistently demonstrating trustworthiness and empathy. The Impact of Betrayal on Physical and Emotional Health: The physical and emotional toll of betrayal is discussed, including the symptoms of Post Betrayal Syndrome™ and the importance of addressing these symptoms for holistic healing. Stages of Healing from Betrayal: The episode outlines the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough, encouraging listeners to move through these stages to achieve healing and transformation. Final Thoughts:

This episode offers a comprehensive look at the process of dealing with betrayal, the potential for change in betrayers, and the path toward healing for the betrayed. It provides valuable insights, practical advice, and hope for anyone navigating the difficult journey of rebuilding trust and finding forgiveness after betrayal.

Whether you're the betrayer looking to make amends and transform yourself, or the betrayed seeking to heal and move forward, this episode is a must-listen, offering guidance, support, and the assurance that change and healing are indeed possible. The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com Reclaim (for the betrayed): https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/ Rebuild (for the betrayer): https://thepbtinstitute.com/rebuild-program/ The Post Betrayal Syndrome™ Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/pbs-quiz/

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In this episode, we dive into the profound topic of healing and transformation after experiencing betrayal. Our host, Dr. Debi Silber who has personally walked this challenging path, shares her story and insights on how to navigate the journey of recovery and self-discovery.

Key Points: The Pain of Betrayal:

Betrayal can be an incredibly painful experience, leaving you feeling blindsided, devastated, and questioning everything. The aftermath of betrayal can create a psychological earthquake, dividing your life into "before" and "after." Unique Nature of Betrayal: Betrayal is a unique form of trauma, distinct from other losses or hardships. It leads to a deep questioning of trust, both in others and in oneself. The Transformational Opportunity: Betrayal offers an opportunity for personal transformation and growth. It marks the death of the old relationship and the chance to build a stronger, more authentic version of oneself. Rebuilding Trust: Rebuilding trust is a complex process, and it often starts with self-trust. Recognize that the betrayal is a reflection of the betrayer's issues, not your worth. Healing Process: Healing from betrayal doesn't necessarily require years of therapy. It involves addressing the trauma on physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and spiritual levels. Changing Perspectives: Transforming your perspective can be a key to healing. Embracing change and becoming open to a new relationship dynamic can lead to growth. Rekindling Relationships: In some cases, rebuilding the relationship with the betrayer can lead to a stronger and healthier connection. It's essential to recognize the transformation in both yourself and the other person. Personal Growth: Betrayal can be a catalyst for recognizing your worth and potential. It's an opportunity to become a stronger, more confident, and happier version of yourself. Support and Role Modeling: Your journey through betrayal can serve as a powerful example for those around you, especially your children. Being your own best friend and showing self-compassion is crucial during the healing process. Embracing Change: Trust that change is possible and that you can become someone who deserves love, respect, and happiness. The process might be scary but can lead to a fulfilling and transformed life. Let’s Wrap it Up:

Healing from betrayal is not only possible; it is predictable. Embrace the opportunity for transformation that betrayal presents and discover the strong, magnificent person you are meant to be. Links: The PBT Institute

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This episode dives into a rarely discussed yet vital topic - the profound impact of the lack of physical touch on our lives. Aaron Johnson, our guest, brings his unique insights and experiences to the table, offering a deep dive into how varying aspects such as culture, upbringing, and societal norms shape our understanding and access to touch.

Key Discussion Points:

Understanding the Lack of Touch: Aaron discusses the general lack of complexity around touch in the United States, influenced by various factors including personal backgrounds, economic status, and education. Impact on Mental Health: He highlights how chronic lack of touch can lead to unbalanced nervous systems, causing dysfunctional and even violent behavior, emphasizing the potential for healing and improvement. Cultural and Community Perspectives: The conversation covers how different cultures view touch, with specific insights into the black community. Aaron shares his experiences of growing up in a Christian home where touch, especially among men, was limited and often associated with strength and lack of emotion. Personal Journey and Realizations: Aaron reflects on his journey, noting the absence of tender platonic touch in his life and its implications. He mentions his observations of boundary violations in his community, particularly towards women. The Role of Shame and Danger: Aaron dives into how shame and a sense of danger have historically influenced attitudes towards touch in the black community. Navigating Relationships with Limited Touch: He discusses the challenge of forming close relationships and gauging intimacy when one is chronically undertouched. Practical Steps Towards Reintroducing Touch: Aaron suggests simple exercises like self-massage and platonic hand-holding to gently reintroduce touch and observe its impact on the nervous system. Addressing the Needs of the Chronically Undertouched: He emphasizes the importance of recognizing and addressing the needs of those who have been deprived of touch, regardless of their background. The Healing Power of Pets and Nature: The episode concludes with Aaron highlighting the therapeutic effects of interaction with pets and nature, especially in touch-deprived environments. Conclusion:

This episode offers a thoughtful exploration of a topic that touches (pun intended) all of us in various ways. Aaron Johnson's perspective sheds light on the often overlooked importance of physical touch and its role in our emotional and mental well-being. The episode is a call to reconsider and reshape our approach to physical interaction in our daily lives.

Listen to the full episode for more in-depth insights and personal stories from Aaron Johnson. Links: The CUT Project: https://www.cutproject.org ThePBTInstitute.com https://thepbtinstitute.com

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In this episode, Dr. Debi Silber explores the often overlooked consequences of being exceptionally capable, especially in the aftermath of betrayal. She highlights how this trait can lead to detrimental outcomes, both personally and professionally, and offers insights into how to navigate this challenging situation. Episode Highlights: The Capability Trap (00:00:45): Dr. Debi dives into how being highly capable can work against you, using examples from her work with individuals at The PBT Institute. When others recognize your competence, they may start relying on you excessively, causing you to shoulder more than you should. The Burden of Overcommitment (00:03:15): Dr. Debi discusses the dangers of taking on too much due to your capability. She explains that even though you can handle it, it doesn't mean you should, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care. The Brick Wall Metaphor (00:05:30): A powerful metaphor is introduced—the brick wall. Dr. Debi illustrates how trust, like a brick wall, is built one brick at a time. However, one moment of betrayal can shatter the entire wall. She emphasizes the need for those responsible for the betrayal to actively participate in rebuilding trust. External Validation (00:09:15): Dr. Debi touches on seeking validation externally, such as through recognition and praise for your capabilities. She warns against relying solely on external validation, as it can lead to self-neglect and stress-related issues. Physical and Emotional Toll (00:11:30): The episode discusses the physical and emotional toll of taking on too much. Dr. Debi draws from her health background to highlight how stress-related symptoms, illness, and disease can manifest when we push ourselves beyond our limits. The Opportunity to Rewrite the Script (00:14:00): Dr. Debi emphasizes that betrayal provides an opportunity to reflect on our roles and responsibilities. It allows us to rewrite the script, set healthier boundaries, and reassess our approach to life. Self-Worth Beyond Actions (00:16:30): The episode concludes by challenging the notion that self-worth is solely tied to our actions and achievements. Dr. Debi encourages listeners to consider their intrinsic value beyond what they do. Let’s Wrap it Up: Dr. Debi Silber's insightful exploration of the pitfalls of exceptional capability provides valuable guidance for those navigating post-betrayal experiences. This episode encourages listeners to strike a balance between their capabilities and self-care while fostering a deeper understanding of self-worth. Disclaimer: The content in this podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional advice or treatment. Links: The PBT Institute

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Understanding and Overcoming Post Betrayal Syndrome™

Introduction:

This episode focuses on Post Betrayal Syndrome™, a collection of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms commonly experienced after betrayal. We explore how unhealed betrayals can impact us long-term and the importance of healing to overcome these symptoms.

Key Discussion Points:

Defining Post Betrayal Syndrome™: An explanation of Post Betrayal Syndrome™, highlighting its long-lasting effects even years after the betrayal. Some Symptoms of Post Betrayal Syndrome™: Physical Symptoms: Low energy, sleep issues, extreme fatigue, weight changes, and digestive issues. Mental Symptoms: Overwhelm, disbelief, inability to focus, shock, and concentration difficulties. Emotional Symptoms: Sadness, anger, hurt, anxiety, stress, inability to trust, and difficulty in forming new relationships. Healing Strategies: The necessity of addressing the root cause of the betrayal rather than just managing symptoms. Moving through The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough for complete healing. Impact of Betrayal on Life: Discussion on how betrayal affects personal power, hyper-vigilance, dealing with triggers, and the potential for PTSD-like symptoms. The influence of betrayal on professional and personal relationships. Tools and Resources: Mention of the Post Betrayal Syndrome™ quiz available at the PBT Institute website. Encouragement to take proactive steps towards healing and not just seeking validation. Conclusion:

This episode emphasizes the significance of understanding and addressing Post Betrayal Syndrome™. It underscores the need for comprehensive healing to fully recover and thrive beyond the experience of betrayal.

Links: The PBT Institute

The Post Betrayal Syndrome™ quiz

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In this episode, we dive into the complex and painful experience of betrayal. Drawing inspiration from Mel Robbins' podcast on the subject, we explore different perspectives on betrayal, its impact, and ways to overcome its painful consequences.

Highlights:

Understanding Betrayal: Betrayal is a shattering of trust, often by those closest to us like family, partners, or colleagues. It involves breaking spoken or unspoken rules, leading to trauma and a sense of deep betrayal. Key Insights from Mel Robbins' Episode: Betrayal is not about the victim but reflects the betrayer's issues. It's essential to not take betrayal personally, understanding it as a form of avoidance or escape by the betrayer. Confronting betrayal opens opportunities for growth and understanding. Dr. Debi’s additional insights: Window of Willingness - A Framework to see if it’s safe and in your best interest to heal and rebuild or heal and move on: Level 1: Full responsibility and remorse by the betrayer. Level 2: Excuses made by the betrayer. Level 3: Blame shifting to the victim. Level 4: Complete denial and refusal of responsibility. Moving Through the Stages of Betrayal: Shock and devastation leading to a shattered worldview. The danger of getting stuck in stage three - "I'm fine" stage, leading to chronic symptoms. Transitioning to stage four, focusing on personal healing and growth. Healing Strategies: Recognizing the need to rebuild trust and integrity after betrayal. Evaluating when and how to rebuild a relationship. Understanding the transformative potential of confronting and moving past betrayal. Personal Stories and Examples: Insights from members of the PBT Institute and personal experiences with betrayal. Discussion on how betrayal can lead to personal transformation and new beginnings.

This episode emphasizes that while betrayal is incredibly painful, it also presents an opportunity for profound personal growth and transformation. By confronting and understanding betrayal, individuals can emerge stronger, more resilient, and more self-aware.

Links:

https://thepbtinstitute.com

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Welcome to another enlightening episode of our podcast! In this episode, we're thrilled to have Anne, a previous guest renowned for her insights, join us again. We delve into the critical topics of pornography, emotional betrayal, and the journey towards healing and safety. Whether you're grappling with these issues personally or seeking to understand them better, this discussion with Anne provides invaluable guidance. Key Discussion Points: 1.Understanding Emotional and Psychological Safety: Anne emphasizes the importance of recognizing emotional and psychological abuse, which often precedes physical abuse. She explains how identifying and ensuring safety is the first step in the healing journey. 2.The Role of BTR in Providing Support: BTR focuses on helping women understand and achieve emotional safety, particularly in the context of sexual coercion and psychological manipulation. Anne discusses how BTR equips women with the knowledge and tools to navigate these challenging situations. 3.Recognizing and Addressing Unsafe Relationships: The discussion highlights how many victims of abuse might not perceive the dangers of non-physical forms of abuse. Anne illustrates this with the analogy of the frog in boiling water, explaining how gradual escalation can mask the severity of the situation. 4.Challenges in Seeking Help: Anne discusses the difficulties women face when seeking help from couple therapists or clergy, emphasizing that the focus often mistakenly remains on preserving the relationship rather than addressing the abuse. 5.Misconceptions About Abuse: A significant part of the conversation is dedicated to debunking common myths surrounding abuse, such as linking it to stress, shame, or childhood trauma. Anne clarifies that these are not justifications for abusive behavior. 6.Strategies for Recovery and Empowerment: The episode provides practical advice for women on how to start taking control of their situation, emphasizing gradual steps towards safety and recovery. 7.Inspirational Stories of Transformation: Anne shares powerful stories, including a pediatrician who overcame sexual coercion and abuse, illustrating the journey from realization to empowerment.  This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to understand the complexities of emotional and psychological abuse, especially in the context of pornography and betrayal. Anne's expertise and the powerful thoughts shared provide hope and guidance for those on the path to healing and empowerment. Additional Resources: • BTR.org for support and resources on emotional and psychological safety • BTR.org/LivingFree for workshops on safety strategies • BTR.org/Steps for steps to safety guidelines • ThePBTInstitute.com

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The Highly Sensitive Empath and Betrayal: • Highly sensitive empaths often struggle deeply with betrayal because they can feel and anticipate the emotions of others. • Betrayal hits them hard, leading to a profound sense of pain. • Dr. Debi discusses the unique dynamics between narcissists and highly sensitive empaths, highlighting their differences in empathy levels.  The Journey to Healing: • Despite the initial crash, highly sensitive empaths can embark on a journey of healing. • By working through the five secrets of betrayal to breakthrough, they can find peace, joy, and fulfillment. • Dr. Debi emphasizes the importance of not getting stuck in stage three by endlessly retelling the betrayal story without a plan for moving forward.  The Five Stages of Healing: • Dr. Debi outlines the five stages of healing from betrayal: stage one through stage five. • She discusses the transition from stage three to stage four, which is action-oriented and focused on personal transformation.  Coffee Chats and Couples Counseling: • Dr. Debi hosts open Q&A sessions called "Coffee Chats" in the PBT Institute, where members can ask questions. • She shares insights on couples counseling after betrayal, emphasizing the need for validation and understanding.  Transforming After Betrayal: • After betrayal, there is an opportunity for personal transformation and the birth of a new self. • Dr. Debi highlights the importance of healing physically, mentally, and emotionally. • She encourages individuals not to settle for just being "okay" with the betrayer but to focus on personal growth and change.  Join the PBT Institute: • To navigate the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough, Dr. Debi recommends joining the PBT Institute, which offers tools, support, and a supportive community. • The goal is to help individuals become confident, healthy, peaceful, and happy on the other side of their healing journey. Thank you for listening to this episode of "From Betrayal to Breakthrough." Here's to your breakthrough! For more information and resources, visit the PBT Institute website: PBT Institute

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Betrayal is a deeply traumatic experience that can have profound effects on the body's physiological balance. It triggers the body's stress response system, and when this system is constantly activated due to betrayal, it can have detrimental effects on our overall well-being.

In this riveting episode, Dr. Debi embarks on an enlightening conversation with Dr. Jorina Elbers, the visionary Program Director of the Trauma Recovery Project at the HeartMath Institute. Together, they unravel the intricate tapestry of HeartMath—a groundbreaking approach to healing from betrayal and trauma.

Join us as Dr. Jorina, a distinguished Pediatric Neurologist, unveils the profound neurological implications of chronic stress and trauma. Discover how HeartMath's heart-centered programs serve as a transformative beacon, alleviating the burdens of trauma and other stress-induced conditions. In this intimate conversation, we dissect the intricate interplay between stress and our physical well-being, exploring how HeartMath can recalibrate the delicate balance of our hearts and nervous systems.

A pinnacle moment in our exchange unfolds as Dr. Jorina illuminates the potency of regenerative emotions. These emotions, she reveals, possess the remarkable ability to reshape our physiology. Tune in as she imparts a simple yet powerful technique—an invaluable tool applicable in diverse scenarios, from enhancing relationships to elevating overall well-being.

For those intrigued by the profound potential of HeartMath in supporting the journey to healing, this episode is a must-listen. Dr. Jorina's generosity in sharing her expertise unveils a path to recovery that will undoubtedly resonate with many who have weathered the storm of betrayal.

Join us in gratitude as we delve into the heart of healing, guided by the wisdom of Dr. Jorina Elbers. This episode promises to be a source of inspiration and solace for those navigating the complex terrain of recovery.

Key Takeaways:

[00:03:10] Effects of stress on the body.

[00:03:24] The physiological effects of stress.

[00:06:08] Dysregulation in the body.

[00:11:33] Depletion and post-betrayal syndrome.

[00:15:50] Heart rate variability and coherence.

[00:15:55] Train for heart rhythm coherence.

[00:19:23] Trust and regulation in healing.

[00:21:52] The power of the heart.

[00:26:52] Physical heart pain during betrayal.

[00:30:28] Heart coherence and regenerative emotions.

[00:35:14] Trust and nervous system regulation.

Memorable Quotes

"We're also learning about inflammatory markers. So, it's affecting our inflammation. It's affecting our ability to fight infections, so we get sick more easily. So actually, the research is very clear. That stress is affecting our body, not just our mind." – Dr. Jorina Elbers

"I kind of imagine emotions to be like that. Initially, it's a light, a form of light. And then it gets so dense because it's not released. And it creates a density, a physical manifestation inside the body that then gets suppressed even more. And it creates a physical problem." – Dr. Jorina Elbers

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: thepbtinstitute.com

Where To Find Our Guest

Website: heartmath.org

Website: heartmath.com

Instagram: @heartmathinstitute

Sign-up for the HeartMath Experience: heartmath.org/training/heartmath-experience

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Rebuilding trust after betrayal is a challenging and complex process that requires effort and commitment from both parties involved.

Welcome to another enlightening episode of ‘From Betrayal to Breakthrough’, where we dive deep into the intricate process of rebuilding trust in relationships. In this episode, Dr. Debi guides us through the challenging journey of healing for both those who shattered trust and those grappling with its aftermath.

Dr. Debi shares profound insights and practical advice, offering a beacon of hope for individuals seeking to mend the fractures in their relationships. One pivotal piece of guidance involves offering a sincere and heartfelt apology for those responsible for breaking trust. Taking full responsibility is the crucial first step toward reclaiming personal power and initiating the healing process.

This challenging moment also serves as an opportunity for self-reflection. Dr. Debi encourages us to assess what we were tolerating that no longer serves our well-being. By identifying non-negotiables and establishing boundaries, we can regain control over our lives and cultivate a healthier future.

Healing is a time-consuming process, and Dr. Debi emphasizes the importance of patience with oneself and the overall journey. Regardless of the choice to grant another chance or move on, focusing on personal healing is important.

Join us on this episode as Dr. Debi imparts valuable insights, empowering you to navigate the intricate path of restoring shattered trust and moving forward toward a brighter, more fulfilling future. It's time to heal, grow, and rediscover the strength within.

Key Takeaways:

[00:01:31] Taking responsibility for shattered trust.

[00:03:14] Pulling others up.

[00:05:54] Healing from betrayal is possible.

Memorable Quotes

"If you're the one who shattered the trust, apologize sincerely. Go for it. Don't hold back. Go for it. Own it. Take 100% full and complete total responsibility. It's how you take your power back. And it's the road to start healing." – Dr. Debi Silber

"Be really careful of the support that you get because the wrong support does more harm than good." – Dr. Debi Silber

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: thepbtinstitute.com

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In a world filled with life's unpredictable twists, we often find ourselves grappling with unexpected betrayals and profound losses—soul wounds that cut deep, leaving scars that seem insurmountable. But what if, nestled within the depths of our pain, lay the blueprint for an extraordinary transformation?

In this compelling episode, Dr. Debi engages in a heartfelt conversation with Steven Sweeney, a Counseling Professional for 39 years and has an extensive background in mental health, chemical dependency, and employee assistance, among other things. Steven's journey from the brink of despair to empowering others through his private practice is nothing short of inspiring.

Tune in as Steven opens up about a life-altering betrayal that nearly cost him everything. Together, they explore the depths of his transformative journey, unraveling the threads of pain, anger, and bitterness that ultimately led to a remarkable transformation. Prepare to be moved as Steven shares the profound lessons learned and the resilience that emerged from the ashes.

One of the biggest takeaways from this episode is the power of changing your beliefs. Steven delves into the challenges of this process, emphasizing that, though not easy, it holds the key to rewriting the narrative of one's life.

This episode is a beacon for those wrestling with anger and adversity, offering profound insights and practical wisdom. Dr. Debi and Steven guide you through the transformative power of using trauma as a catalyst for positive change. If you've ever felt stuck in the clutches of struggle, this conversation is your roadmap to personal breakthroughs.

Join us for a poignant exploration of resilience, redemption, and the boundless potential within us all. Steven's journey serves as a testament to the transformative power of the human spirit. Don't miss this opportunity to discover how you too can turn trauma into triumph and rewrite the script of your life.

Key Takeaways:

[00:00:57] Stephen Sweeney's exceptional journey.

[00:04:34] Recovering from soul wounds is challenging.

[00:05:43] Disrespect and alpha male behavior.

[00:07:13] Healing from betrayal is possible.

[00:09:26] Unpredictable behavior and weight gain.

[00:14:44] Taking responsibility and healing.

[00:17:10] Only a lion understands a lion.

[00:19:23] Unique pain of betrayal.

[00:23:37] Honoring Stevie Sweeney.

[00:25:22] Turning pain into purpose.

[00:29:17] Changing your beliefs.

Memorable Quotes

"I felt because I was taking responsibility for going through what I went through, and just being angry and being the victim and being this and being all that kind of stuff. And so, once I was able to take a look at the role that I played in all of that, I was able to just kind of like let it go." – Steven Sweeney

"It's not easy to go through it when you're going through it. But if you would take that cognitive behavioral approach and just change your, if we can change your beliefs about a situation, that will change your feelings about it." – Steven Sweeney

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: thepbtinstitute.com

Where To Find Our Guest

Website: hope2healcoach.com

Instagram: @SweenBizPro

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The holiday season, with its festive cheer and traditions, can be a poignant reminder of past betrayals, casting shadows on what should be joyous occasions. In this episode, Dr. Debi offers some valuable advice on how to change the meaning of holiday celebrations and create a new association with this time of year.

Discover how reframing your perspective on past events can be a catalyst for creating new celebrations aligned with your healing journey. Instead of dwelling on the pain, this episode encourages you to forge new traditions that bring joy and fulfillment into your life during the holiday season. Rebuilding trust after betrayal is a daunting task, but Dr. Debi provides a compelling suggestion: walk in the shoes of those you love. This exercise becomes a tool not only for rebuilding trust in others but also for regaining self-trust, offering clarity for making decisions, big or small.

Dr. Debi also answers the burning question: How do you know if you've truly healed from betrayal? Join her as she emphasizes the importance of acknowledging the time it takes to heal from betrayal. She reassures you that the journey may be filled with ups and downs but envision a future version of yourself – one who is confident, healthy, peaceful, and happy. You are not alone; we're here to support you through every stage of healing.

Key Takeaways:

[00:00:49] Change the meaning of betrayal.

[00:01:56] Regaining trust after betrayal.

[00:03:40] Emotional timeline of betrayal.

Memorable Quotes

"Just because the betrayal happened does not mean it has to negatively impact every holiday, every milestone, every everything. It doesn't. The meaning changes because you change what you associate with it." – Dr. Debi Silber

"If things are average in your health and your work and your relationships, you're not healed. Here's why. When you move through betrayal, through the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough, you become a different version of you that never would have had the opportunity to exist had that not happened." – Dr. Debi Silber

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: thepbtinstitute.com

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The mind-body connection is a crucial aspect of healing, and it plays a significant role in our overall well-being. Tune in to discover the remarkable connection between our thoughts, muscles, and chemical processes as we explore the power of providing support to unlock the body's innate healing abilities and release deep-rooted trauma. Dr. Debi had the pleasure of bringing back the incredible Rachelle McCloud, a Mental Health Therapist and Emotional Wellness, in this week’s episode. Together, they dive deep into the topic of healing and overcoming anxiety, depression, and trauma, and explore what's missing in traditional therapy.

Rachelle shares her insights and experiences from years of successfully helping clients move past their symptoms and into remission and discuss the importance of addressing the root causes of pain and trauma, rather than simply managing, or coping with them.

Rachelle also introduces some powerful practices that can help release decades of trauma in a simple, effective, and efficient way. Whether you've been carrying the weight of unhealed pain for a while or are simply interested in learning more about emotional wellness, this conversation is sure to provide valuable insights and tools.

Key Takeaways: [00:01:57] The mind-body connection. [00:03:25] Brain's map of understanding. [00:07:40] Breaking free from recurring thoughts. [00:10:06] What is tapping? How can it reduce emotional pain? [00:14:39] Embrace and process painful experiences. [00:15:11] Holding painful energies. [00:17:21] Empathy and healing. [00:19:21] Rapid interventions for emotional healing. [00:20:32] Results of the intervention. [00:24:27] Energy medicine and healing work. [00:26:47] EMDR and trauma intervention. [00:31:11] Pain and healing process. [00:33:18] Release trauma, heal the brain. [00:33:48] Four interventions for trauma healing.

Memorable Quotes "Our body is designed to heal. And all we're doing is providing it the support it needs. And bodies do need support. That's part of our design." – Rachelle McCloud

"The healing work does not need to be painful or pushing. And I really want to take away a correlation with the amount of pain you feel is the amount of progress you're making. That is not true. Pain actually slows down the healing process. That's why we're in this in the first place, because something painful happened and it's taking forever to get through the healing process." – Rachelle McCloud

Links Mentioned In This Episode Website: thepbtinstitute.com

Where To Find Our Guest Website: rachellemccloud.com Instagram: @rachellemccloud Facebook: Rachelle McCloud, LCSW

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Words shape our beliefs and ultimately our lives. Join Dr. Debi in this episode as we unravel the profound impact of words on our beliefs and lives. Discover how we hold the power to reshape our beliefs by consciously selecting our words and thoughts. Explore the journey towards overcoming betrayal, regaining confidence, and scripting a new life narrative.

Delve deep into the realm of personal resilience and conquering betrayal in this episode. Uncover the significance of self-belief, accessing inner strength, and harnessing the transformative influence of mantras in navigating tough times. Learn the value of seeking guidance from those who've triumphed over similar challenges and find out how the PBT Institute's certified coaches can aid you on this path.

Dr. Debi shares insights, offering practical strategies to move beyond betrayal, dispelling common myths about healing, love, and age-related limitations. Emphasizing the weight of our words in shaping beliefs, she illustrates how empowering words can revolutionize our mindset, paving the way for healing and rediscovering love.

If you've felt immobilized by the pain of betrayal, this episode is for you! Gain practical advice, inspiration, and the assurance that you're not alone. The PBT Institute stands ready to support you through every phase of healing, equipped with tools and a community familiar with your journey.

Key Takeaways:

[00:00:16] Words shape our beliefs and identity.

[00:01:39] Boosting confidence.

[00:04:05] Boosting confidence after betrayal.

[00:05:19] Consistency is key in retraining.

Memorable Quotes

"Just a message to be careful about the words you use. Your mind wants to prove you right regardless of if it's good or bad, right, or wrong, true. It becomes your belief as long as you keep repeating it." – Dr. Debi Silber

"So, after betrayal, what happens is you have an opportunity to completely rewrite the script. We write the script for how people treat us. So, it's a beautiful opportunity to rewrite it. You want to take a look and say, what was I tolerating that I'm no longer willing to tolerate? What no longer works for me?" – Dr. Debi Silber

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/

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Financial empowerment is a crucial aspect of rebuilding one's life after being in a toxic relationship. The impact of toxic relationships on someone’s finances can be significant, but with the right knowledge and support, you can regain control over your financial situation.

In this episode, we dive into the topic of transforming your finances and thriving in life after a dysfunctional relationship. We have a special guest, Leah Hadley, who is a Financial Therapist, Founder of "Watch Her Thrive," and expert in helping individuals create a healthy money mindset and achieve their financial goals. She shared some invaluable wisdom that will empower you to take control of your financial journey and thrive in every aspect of your life.

Leah shares her journey of going through a divorce and how she turned her financial challenges into opportunities for growth and success. She emphasizes the importance of creating awareness around how we manage our finances and separating the emotions tied to it. She also highlights the value of finding a financial therapist who can provide guidance and support during times of change.

When your financial situation changes, it's natural to feel frustrated or resentful. However, Leah encourages us to see change as something different and wonderful and see it as an opportunity for positive transformation. She shares her own experience of leaving an unhappy marriage and how it allowed her to pursue her dreams and start her businesses. By embracing change, we can adapt and find new opportunities for growth and fulfillment.

Key Takeaways:

[00:01:35] Rebuilding life after a toxic relationship. [00:04:35] Someone's relationship with money. [00:06:08] Relationship with money shapes behavior. [00:10:11] Acknowledge and explore your thoughts. [00:11:18] Financial independence challenges. [00:14:39] Mistakes people make. [00:15:43] Embrace change and find empowerment. [00:17:40] Taking challenges and transforming. [00:18:53] Be honest and increase financial literacy. [00:21:06] Your relationship with money. [00:23:27] Being kept in the dark. [00:23:50] Manage finances with awareness and support.

Memorable Quotes

"All of the other pieces can fall into place when you acknowledge that I am responsible for myself and I can do the things that I need to do, because there are so many resources out there." – Leah Hadley

"If you don't want to deal with the finances, that is a huge message that it's time to increase financial literacy. And to acknowledge that nobody knows how to manage money. These are skills that are developed over time." – Leah Hadley

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/

Where To Find Our Guest

Free Gift Link: https://www.watchherthrive.co/plan-your-financial-freedom-opt-in

Website: https://www.watchherthrive.co/

Website: https://www.greatlakesdfs.com/

Website: https://www.greatlakesinvestment.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/watchherthrive

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/watchherthrive

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Have you ever felt like you're hanging onto a trapeze bar, desperately trying to let go and move forward? Well, that's exactly what stage three of betrayal feels like. It's the hardest stage to leave behind, but trust us, there's a breakthrough waiting for you on the other side.

One of the most powerful insights shared in this episode is the association between change and loss. Many individuals sabotage themselves because they subconsciously associate change with negative outcomes, such as losing friends, relationships, or even their place in a community. It's time to shift your mindset and realize that change can lead to positive transformations in your life.

Another crucial takeaway from this episode is the importance of self-awareness. You cannot change what you're not aware of. By becoming aware of your patterns, behaviors, and beliefs, you can start to make conscious choices that align with your desired outcome. Dr. Debi shares a powerful exercise involving a rubber band to help you become aware of self-sabotaging behaviors. This simple technique can be a game-changer in your healing journey.

Whether you're just starting to heal or already making progress, this mini dose of Dr. Debi will motivate and inspire you to keep moving forward. Don't miss out on the opportunity to experience true confidence, health, peace, and happiness on the other side of your healing. Join us on this transformative journey and let's achieve your breakthrough together.

Key Takeaways:

[00:00:38] Staying stuck in stage three.

[00:02:08] Rubber band exercise.

[00:03:58] Change equals loss?

[00:04:33] Healing leads to happiness.

Memorable Quotes

"Stage three is the hardest stage to leave, and it's like if you were on a trapeze, and you're grabbing hold of one bar, that's stage three. And you can grab hold of the other bar, stage four, but you're not going anywhere, and you don't get to stage four unless you let go of stage three." – Dr. Debi Silber

"They don't deserve it. They don't deserve your energy, your attention, your focus. Of course, you need to unpack it. You need to make sense and then meaning out of it. But you also need to know how much time, effort, energy you're spending on them because it's taking away from you." – Dr. Debi Silber

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/

PBS Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/pbs-quiz/

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Overcoming a broken heart is harder than breaking a cocaine addiction. Healing from heartbreak is a challenging process but remember, we are not alone in this journey, and it can be done. If you're going through heartbreak, our guest today reassures us that there is support available and hope for a brighter future.

Dr. Debi had the pleasure of interviewing Arielle Ford, a leading personality in the personal growth and contemporary spirituality movement. Arielle has dedicated her life to helping people find love, keep love, and be love. She is a celebrated Love and Relationship Expert, Author, and Speaker, and her mission is truly inspiring.

During their conversation, Arielle shared her thoughts on the paradox of love, the power of gratitude, and the importance of healing a broken heart. She also discussed her latest book, "The Love Thief," and how it can guide you on a journey of self-discovery and transformation, and shares her own journey of betrayal, heartbreak, and forgiveness, and how she recreated herself.

If you're looking for practical advice and guidance on finding and maintaining love in your life, this episode is a must-listen! Arielle's wisdom and insights will leave you feeling inspired and empowered to create the love life you desire.

Tune in for an inspiring conversation about love, healing, and embracing the unknown. Don't miss out on this incredible episode with a truly amazing guest.

Key Takeaways:

[00:01:44] Admiration for conversations with God.

[00:04:26] Location as a character in the book.

[00:09:29] Lessons from toxic relationships.

[00:10:35] Lesson: If it seems too good to be true, it usually is.

[00:11:33] Special prey: targeting successful women.

[00:13:33] Be cautious of fast-moving relationships.

[00:15:10] Long-term happy relationships.

[00:17:01] Be cautious of red flags.

[00:19:23] Betrayers and personal transformation.

[00:23:31] Happiness is not the ultimate goal.

[00:26:29] Living in uncertainty.

[00:31:27] The state of being in love.

Memorable Quotes

"The thing that I've learned now that I'm 70 years old and I've been on the planet long enough is that these types of men only go after smart, beautiful, successful women. So, if you've had this experience, there's a way in which you can reframe it that you're really special. They don't go after ordinary women ever. They target, you are prey." – Arielle Ford

"Think the biggest thing I want people to get is that there's manifestation and law of attraction, and trying to make shit happen in your life, and then there's destiny, and if you can let go of wanting to control and manifest every last thing in your life and just receive destiny. Things that you can't even imagine are going to come to you because your imagination is big enough" – Arielle Ford

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/

Post Betrayal Syndrome (PBS) Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/pbs-quiz/

Where To Find Our Guest

Website: https://www.arielleford.com/

The Love Thief Book: https://www.arielleford.com/the-love-thief/

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Healing is a powerful process that brings about numerous positive changes in one's life. In this week's episode, we dive deep into stage four of the post-betrayal transformation process, and we must say, it's our absolute favorite stage!

Stage four is where the real magic happens. It's all about taking action and creating a new version of yourself that didn't exist before. No more focusing on surviving or dwelling on the past. It's time to embrace change and create an exciting future for yourself.

In this episode, Dr. Debi shares a powerful story of one of our listeners who is experiencing this transformative stage. She's noticing how her boundaries are being crossed, and instead of letting it happen like before, she's now taking charge and setting boundaries. It's an exhausting but empowering journey.

Dr. Debi also discusses the importance of coming from the heart when someone is triggered. Trying to appeal to their mind or heart won't work. It's all about connecting heart to heart, and she share some valuable insights on how to navigate these situations.

Key Takeaways:

[00:00:30] Weight as protection.

[00:01:55] Stage four of post-betrayal transformation.

[00:04:12] When someone is triggered.

[00:05:00] Healing leads to transformation.

Memorable Quotes

"And the body is always trying to protect us. But when you make peace with it, when you realize that's what it's there for, that's what the weight's there for, then we can make some different decisions and do something about it." – Dr. Debi Silber

"If you are stuck in stage three, the most common place to get stuck, keep going. Stage four is where transformation begins. You've been through the worst of it already. You owe it to yourself to do something really good with something really painful." – Dr. Debi Silber

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/

PBS Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/pbs-quiz/

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Marriage counseling is often seen as a common response to experiencing betrayal in a relationship. However, there are several reasons why this approach may not be effective in addressing the aftermath of betrayal, and we’ll discuss why this is the case in this week’s episode.

Dr. Debi had the pleasure of speaking with Beth Fischer, a certified PBT practitioner and a remarkable individual who found herself facing the devastating discovery of her husband's secret life. Beth's journey through betrayal and depression lasted for over two years, leaving her unable to see past her pain or envision a happy future. However, she found the strength to break free from her trauma cycle and not only reconcile with her husband but also create an amazing life for herself.

Beth's story is truly inspiring, and her resilience in the face of such adversity is remarkable. She discusses the importance of finding the right support and community, as well as the transformative power of doing the hard work necessary to heal.

During their conversation, they also touch on the topic of trust and how it can be rebuilt after betrayal. Beth shares her insights on how the person who betrayed you often changes in appearance and energy, creating a different feeling altogether. It's a powerful reminder that there is hope for healing and growth, even in the most challenging of circumstances.

If you are currently navigating the painful journey of betrayal or know someone who is, we highly recommend tuning in to this episode. Beth's wisdom and expertise, coupled with her willingness to share her story, will undoubtedly provide strength and hope to countless individuals who may be facing similar challenges.

Key Takeaways:

[00:01:59] Why marriage counseling doesn't work.

[00:06:04] The betrayer's why.

[00:08:07] A to Z analogy.

[00:11:14] Betrayal trauma and changing pasts.

[00:15:11] The five stages of transformation.

[00:17:18] Betrayed partners must prioritize self-healing.

[00:19:49] Reasons versus excuses.

[00:23:11] The real why.

[00:27:41] There is hope for healing.

[00:28:10] Betrayal can lead to transformation.

[00:31:12] Betrayal changing your past.

Memorable Quotes

"When we talk about betrayal trauma, we’re talking about somebody's past literally changing overnight. What they thought was real is now a lie. They have no concept of time anymore. It's wait a minute, you did what? Where was I? Wait a minute, that was our anniversary, and you were texting or calling or whatever it was. So, with betrayal and trauma, your past changes and that's brutal to the human mind." – Beth Fischer

"I'm not buying that it was a lack of sex or that it was a bad marriage. I'm not buying that. I was in the same marriage. I didn't cheat. There has to be more to it than that. Now, back then I didn't have the words, so that ended up into a huge fight. Now I see very clearly, I was 100% spot on. He had to go figure out why, and I was not going to take any responsibility for it." – Beth Fischer

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/

Post Betrayal Syndrome (PBS) Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/pbs-quiz/

Free Gift Link: https://chaostocalm.coachbethfischer.com/c2c & https://aherosjourney.coachbethfischer.com/hero

Where To Find Our Guest

Website: https://coachbethfischer.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/your_family_needs_you/

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One of the most common misconceptions is that betrayers can never change. But that's simply not true! While some may move on without any remorse, there are those who experience a profound wake-up call and make a complete 180-degree shift in their behavior. It's important to recognize that change is possible, and for those who choose to reconcile, it can be a pivotal moment of growth and transformation.

Today, Dr. Debi discusses the misconceptions surrounding betrayers and their ability to change and shares personal experiences and stories of individuals who have experienced a profound wake-up call, leading them to make significant changes in their lives. Betrayal can be a catalyst for transformation, and it's important to recognize that not all betrayers are unwilling to change.

Dr. Debi also explores the unique nature of betrayal and how it impacts our lives. Betrayal can leave us feeling shattered and questioning everything we thought we knew about ourselves and our relationships. However, there is hope. Through the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough, we can rebuild ourselves and our lives, emerging stronger and more resilient than ever before.

Additionally, Dr. Debi touches upon the importance of self-care and the role it plays in our healing journey. She shares a practical tool that can help you get the sleep you need, an essential component of the healing process.

If you've experienced other traumas besides betrayal, such as the loss of a loved one or a natural disaster, you may find this episode particularly insightful. We explore the unique challenges of betrayal and how it differs from other forms of trauma.

Key Takeaways:

[00:00:20] Reconciling with a betrayer.

[00:04:52] Betrayal shatters and transforms lives.

[00:06:04] Post-betrayal transformation.

[00:06:39] Betrayal and transformation.

Memorable Quotes

"When that happens, it creates an entirely new relationship where all the rules are changed based on who you are, what you need, what you're ready for now. And it allows you to take a look at everything that you were and what no longer serves. You leave all that behind and you decide who you want to be, what rules you need, what values, what's important to you." – Dr. Debi Silber

"Someone just asked me about this, and I thought it would help. He said, at night, it's really hard to sleep. I have a lot of nightmares. And it's so common when you're healing from betrayal. Everything you were able to maybe just avoid distract yourself from during the day comes out in full force at night." – Dr. Debi Silber

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/

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Suicide is an intensely emotional event that affects not only the individual who chooses to end their life but also the survivors left behind. Today, we will explore the devastating experience of suicide and its profound effects on individuals and communities.

Dr. Debi sits down with Alexandra Wyman, author of Amazon best-selling book "The Suicide Club," for this week’s episode to discuss the sensitive and heartbreaking topic of suicide. Together, we explore the grief and unanswered questions that come with losing a loved one to suicide, offering tools, strategies, and support for healing.

Suicide is a deeply distressing and tragic event that leaves a lasting impact on the lives of those left behind. The emotional impact, unanswered questions, feelings of betrayal, and stigma surrounding suicide make it an incredibly challenging journey for those navigating the aftermath. Alexandra discusses how, unfortunately, when it comes to suicide, the loved ones left behind can often be questioned, blamed, and shamed. This makes the healing process even more challenging. She emphasizes the importance of providing lots of love and support to those who are hurting, without judgment or blame. It is crucial for society to foster open conversations about suicide, provide support, and create a safe space for survivors to heal and find solace.

Each person's healing journey is unique, and it's crucial to find the tools and resources that work best for you. Alexandra shares her toolbox of healing, including a suicide support group, therapy, journaling, exercise, meditation, and more. Remember, there's no right or wrong choice when it comes to healing. Explore different options and find what resonates with you.

Join us for this important conversation and learn how to navigate the complex emotions surrounding this type of betrayal.

Key Takeaways:

[00:03:34] Legal action and custody questions.

[00:04:05] Questions of blame and grief.

[00:07:12] Setting boundaries and grieving.

[00:10:31] Embrace emotions for healing.

[00:12:00] Spirituality and questioning.

[00:15:23] Dreams and connecting with loved ones.

[00:18:39] Love and compassion and forgiveness.

[00:21:27] Forgiveness as a healing process.

[00:23:11] Forgiveness brings freedom and healing.

[00:25:48] Finding something to anchor to.

[00:28:41] Suicide support group, therapy, journaling.

Memorable Quotes

"And for me, what was most helpful was just people reaching out and saying, I'm thinking about you. I'm here for you when you're ready. That was great and comforting because at that time, what most people were asking is, what can we do? And I said, the one thing I want no one can do. I want my husband back here. No one can do that. So just being open and available without kind of projecting our own ideas of grief and what an individual would need based off of what we think we would need." – Alexandra Wyman

"And I tell people now, work through, you know, it's horrible to work through those feelings, but it feels amazing on the other side. It really does. I felt lighter." – Alexandra Wyman

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/forgiveness/

Where To Find Our Guest

Website: https://www.forwardtojoy.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forwardtojoy/

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Emotions are normal during healing. This is a key takeaway in this episode where Dr. Debi discusses the various emotions that individuals may experience when going through the process of healing from betrayal. She reassures everyone that these emotions are completely normal and to be expected.

Yes, it's completely normal to experience a range of emotions when healing from betrayal. Many individuals find themselves feeling tired, experiencing outbursts of anger or sadness, or even having nightmares. Remember, these emotions are part of the healing process.

Additionally, healing from betrayal is not just about who you want to become, but also about letting go of who you no longer want to be. This journey is an opportunity to shed the weight of what no longer serves you and embrace the person you are meant to be. The beauty of betrayal lies in the ability to rebuild anything and everything you desire. So, ask yourself, what are you willing to let go of? What have you outgrown? By answering these questions, you can pave the way for the version of yourself who's ready to show up.

One of the most common questions we receive is, "Will I ever be able to trust again?" Remember, betrayal may shatter trust, but it is possible to rebuild it. Trust in yourself can be regained, it takes time, support, and the right tools, and we are here to guide you through the process.

If you're curious about the answers to these questions and eager to learn more about healing from betrayal, make sure to tune in to our latest episode.

Key Takeaways:

[00:00:13] Emotions are normal during healing.

[00:01:27] Letting go and rebuilding.

[00:03:29] Rebuilding after betrayal.

Memorable Quotes

"When you're healing from betrayal, it's less about who you want to become. It's more about letting go of who you aren't." – Dr. Debi Silber

"But not only can it be rebuilt, it can be rebuilt so much better, so much stronger than it ever was before. You need the right tools, support, and the right community to move through the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough." - Dr. Debi Silber

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/

PBS Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/pbs-quiz/

Trust Again 2.0: https://thepbtinstitute.com/trust-again/

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Body betrayal is a concept that refers to the feeling of being let down or betrayed by our own bodies. It is a topic that has gained attention in recent years, as more and more people are struggling with various health issues, weight problems, and chronic illnesses. In this episode, Dr. Debi interviews Jenn Malecha, a Health Business Coach who supports health-minded professionals in taking control of their health and finding the missing pieces of their health puzzle.

Jenn shares her wisdom and insights on how to break free from negative patterns and create a healthier, more fulfilling life. She emphasizes the importance of forgiveness in our lives and how it can be a tough, yet transformative journey, and highlights the significance of self-love and how it plays a vital role in building our health and correcting imbalances in our bodies.

One of the key takeaways from this episode is the importance of slowing down and creating space for self-reflection. We often get caught up in our busy lives, neglecting our own needs and desires. But by taking the time to listen to our bodies and understand our unique needs, we can make positive changes and experience a greater sense of well-being.

Join us as we discuss the rise of AI-generated headshots and the pressure to conform to unrealistic beauty standards. Our guest expert, Jenn, shares valuable insights on how we can reclaim our health and well-being by loving and honoring ourselves. Don't miss out on this empowering conversation that will challenge the way you think about your body. Tune in now and start your journey towards self-acceptance and self-care.

Key Takeaways:

[00:02:23] Feeling betrayed by our bodies.

[00:03:48] Betrayal and forgiveness of body.

[00:07:53] Unrealistic beauty standards.

[00:11:19] Being authentic impacts your health.

[00:13:11] Building a healthy relationship with our bodies.

[00:15:33] Being present vs. Checking boxes.

[00:17:07] Slow down and create space for presence.

[00:19:40] Kundalini yoga and breathwork.

[00:22:00] Listen to your body's feedback.

[00:26:18] Alleviating symptoms and healing.

[00:27:27] Stress impacts the body's systems.

[00:29:41] Starting with food and sleep.

[00:32:47] Personalizing your unique diet.

[00:33:41] Listen to your body's needs.

[00:35:59] Building our health back.

Memorable Quotes

"There's so many ways that our body is talking to us all the time. It's everything from the little aches and pains to the cravings to our energy levels. It's like being able to tune into your body at any point in time to understand what it needs and giving it that." – Jenn Malecha

"It actually shows us the impact on the body over time that this constant place of busyness, always moving, always being like in this mild to moderate or high fight or flight stage, is having a drastic impact on every other asset of the body." – Jenn Malecha

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Free Gift Link (Food & Body Language Log): https://whb.tips/bbpfoodlog / https://gn180.isrefer.com/go/foodlog/pbtinstitute/

Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/forgiveness/

Where To Find Our Guest

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wholistichealthboss

Website: https://wholistichealthboss.com/

Join us for The Forgiveness Project!

Download your free tracking sheet here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/forgiveness/

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Betrayal is a deeply painful experience that can have a profound impact on a person's life. It shatters trust, leaves emotional scars, and can lead to feelings of anger, sadness, and confusion. However, despite the devastation it brings, betrayal can also serve as a catalyst for personal transformation. This is evident in the awe-inspiring story of Suzanne Verbrugge.

In this episode, Dr. Debi had the privilege of hearing from Suzanne, one of our rock star members at the PBT Institute. Suzanne has gone through an incredible transformation, moving through the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough. Her story is a testament to the power of resilience and the ability to create a beautiful life even in the face of adversity.

From the moment Suzanne joined our community, she dove headfirst into the work, and the results speak for themselves. We are truly in awe of her journey, and we know that her story will inspire you to take action and make positive changes in your own life.

During the episode, Suzanne shares how she navigated her way through a challenging relationship and found the strength to not only forgive but also to start a new business. She talks about the power of community and how the support and encouragement from others played a crucial role in her transformation. Her story is a reminder that success is not defined by external circumstances, but by the love and resilience that resides within each of us.

We invite you to listen to this episode and join us on an empowering journey of healing and self-growth.

Key Takeaways:

[00:00:07] Betrayal in a long-term relationship.

[00:06:02] Starting a new life.

[00:08:29] Discovery of an affair.

[00:13:48] Betrayal and post-traumatic healing.

[00:16:35] Sleep deprivation and its effects.

[00:19:00] The covert narcissist.

[00:22:15] Overcoming dependency on medication.

[00:26:15] What is success?

[00:30:39] Rebuilding is a choice.

Memorable Quotes

"I'm standing there, and I go like, what's wrong with me? Because I've never ever had anything, even a thought about that. And I said, I need help. I need help because this is not normal. My body went into shock. Everything went into shock.” – Suzanne Verbrugge

"That all the negative things you go through, transform that into something beautiful. Don't go into the negative, go into the positive." - Suzanne Verbrugge

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/forgiveness/

Where To Find Our Guest

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smverbrugge/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/suzy.verbrugge

Website: https://suzanneverbrugge.smugmug.com/

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Using logic for healing betrayal can be a common approach for many individuals who have experienced betrayal. Logic is often seen as a tool that can help us make sense of situations, find solutions, and understand the reasons behind certain actions. However, when it comes to healing from betrayal, using logic may not be the most effective tool.

In this episode, we dive deep into the topic of healing from betrayal and why using logic may be keeping you stuck. Dr. Debi explores how healing fully and moving through the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough requires a different approach, one that goes beyond logic.

Just like trying to do a home improvement project with only a hammer, healing from betrayal requires a variety of tools. Logic alone won't help you fully heal. To truly heal, we need to bypass the logical, rational mind and tap into what's underneath. It's about accessing our emotions and deeper inner wisdom.

Moreover, to break free from the chains of resentment and pain, we need to ask ourselves important questions about our current situation and the potential for change. By telling ourselves the truth, we can begin the journey towards transformation.

If you've been feeling stuck and logical reasoning hasn't been helping, this episode is for you! Discover the power of bypassing the rational mind and uncover what's truly underneath to aid in your healing process. Don't miss out on this empowering episode that will guide you towards a breakthrough.

Key Takeaways:

[00:00:39] Using the wrong tool for healing.

[00:01:30] Using logic is not helpful in healing from betrayal.

[00:04:29] Numbing, avoiding, and distracting.

[00:05:07] Ask yourself honest questions.

[00:06:59] Healing and happiness.

Memorable Quotes

"Being logical will keep you stuck when it comes to healing from betrayal. It is the wrong tool for the job. Healing from betrayal has very little to do with logic because think about it, you're trying to make sense of the senseless, right?” – Dr. Debi Silber

"You owe it to yourself to do something really good with something really painful." - Dr. Debi Silber

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/forgiveness/

Join us for The Forgiveness Project!

Download your free tracking sheet here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/forgiveness/

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Many of us have spent years stuck in survival mode, barely breathing and holding our breaths. In this episode, we address this common struggle and offer hope for those seeking to transition from a state of fear and discomfort to a place of safety and deep cleansing breaths.

Today’s episode features the incredible Elizabeth Kipp. She is not only an expert in her field but also one of our certified PBT (Post-Betrayal Transformation) coaches who specializes in chronic pain and stress management, and her insights have truly transformed the healing journey for many of our members.

Elizabeth shares her wisdom on breathing, stress response, and regulating the nervous system. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing that the greatest healer in your life resides within you. She believes that 80% of your healing journey is a collaboration between you and the intelligence within your body and the world. It's a powerful reminder of the innate healing potential we all possess.

Throughout our conversation, Elizabeth provides practical strategies from her Rebuild Roadmap book, which is filled with incredible practices for anyone looking to rebuild. She explains how breathing and regulating the nervous system can have a profound impact on our well-being, especially for those who have been stuck in a state of survival for years.

If you've ever felt like you've been barely breathing, holding your breath, or living in a constant state of stress, this episode is for you. Elizabeth offers guidance on how to transition from that place to feeling safe, comfortable, and empowered with each deep cleansing breath.

I encourage you to tune in to this episode and discover the transformative power of breathing and healing.

Key Takeaways:

[00:01:23] The stress response.

[00:05:08] Communication during triggers.

[00:07:36] Dysregulation in the vagus nerve.

[00:10:38] Shallow breathing and its effects.

[00:15:35] The power of breath.

[00:19:57] Getting your nervous system regulated.

[00:21:33] Empowering self-healing journey.

Join us for The Forgiveness Project!

Download your free tracking sheet here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/forgiveness/

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Elizabeth Kipp’s Website: https://elizabeth-kipp.com/

Elizabeth Kipp’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lizi.kipp/

Elizabeth Kipp’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ElizabethKippStressManagement/

PBT Institute Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/

Memorable Quotes

"Actually, your body is your nervous system and your body are so smart. All you have to do is begin long deep breathing and you'll feel calm. It's not like you have to talk yourself into it. This is not a mind thing. This is not like an affirmation. This is an actual thing that happens.” – Elizabeth Kipp

"If you ask me, what is my mantra in this space? My mantra is the greatest healer in your life lives within." - Elizabeth Kipp

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Let’s explore the profound lesson that betrayal teaches us in this new episode of "From Betrayal to Breakthrough." Whether it's learning to love ourselves, setting better boundaries, or prioritizing our own needs, each betrayal presents an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

Dr. Debi shares her personal experience and research on post-traumatic growth, revealing how betrayal felt distinct and prompted her to investigate further. She also shares one of our member’s journeys of betrayal from her mom, which unknowingly affected her marriage. Through self-reflection and a commitment to change, she's now ready to make a change and prioritize herself.

Many of us struggle with speaking up and prioritizing our needs due to a fear of shaking up those around us. This episode challenges that mindset and encourages you to embrace change, even if it means upsetting others. Remember, it's better to upset yourself than to sacrifice your own well-being for the sake of others.

Join in now as Dr. Debi explores the power to write the script for how people treat us and the importance of seeking help in rewriting it. Discover the power of change and the version of yourself that is waiting to be created and discovered. Tune in for valuable insights and resources to support your own transformation journey.

Key Takeaways:

[00:01:36] Post-betrayal transformation.

[00:03:35] Shaking up and upsetting.

[00:05:23] Trust feels different than expected.

Memorable Quotes

"But betrayal gives you the opportunity to create a version of you that never would have had the opportunity to exist and be created had that experience not happen.” – Dr. Debi Silber

"That's what truth and trust feels like. There's no deception. There's no pretending that there's something that they're not or someone that they're not. They're just authentic and real." - Dr. Debi Silber

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/

Join us for The Forgiveness Project!

Download your free tracking sheet here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/forgiveness/

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Betrayal is a deeply painful experience that can shatter our sense of trust, security, and self-worth. Whether it's infidelity in a romantic relationship, deceit from a close friend, or betrayal in any other form, the aftermath can leave us feeling lost and broken. However, it is possible to rebuild and advocate for ourselves after betrayal.

In this empowering episode of "From Betrayal to Breakthrough," Dr. Debi sits down with Attorney, TEDx Speaker, and Betrayal Recovery Expert, Lora Cheadle. Together, they dive into the topic of advocating for yourself after infidelity and discuss the importance of setting boundaries, redefining your identity, and trusting your truth. They explore how betrayal can change us, both for better and for worse, and how it uncovers the truth of who we are and our potential for growth and healing.

Lora opens up about her personal journey of betrayal and the invaluable lessons she learned along the way. She offers powerful insights and strategies for navigating the difficult stages of betrayal and redefining your identity. Lora’s message is one of hope and resilience, reminding us that we will be more than okay, and that we have the potential to create a life filled with love, meaning, purpose, and deep connection.

Whether you've experienced betrayal or simply want to learn more about personal growth and healing, this episode offers valuable insights and strategies for moving forward. Don't miss out on this transformative conversation!

Key Takeaways:

[00:02:18] Discovering self-worth after betrayal.

[00:05:18] Living for me.

[00:08:11] Redefining boundaries and pushback.

[00:10:45] Prioritize self-care and set boundaries.

[00:12:55] Choosing your heart.

[00:15:20] Finding your passion.

[00:16:44] Acceptance leads to growth.

[00:19:59] Betrayal uncovers the truth.

[00:22:01] Opportunity to transform through trauma.

[00:23:23] Flaunting your fetish.

Join us for The Forgiveness Project!

Download your free tracking sheet here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/forgiveness/

Links Mentioned In This Episode

https://loracheadle.com/betrayal-recovery-guide/

https://thepbtinstitute.com/

Memorable Quotes

"I could be miserable and bitter, I could hate these other women, I could hate my husband, I could spend the rest of my life telling this story about this horrific thing that had been done to me, and where I was entitled to be a victim, I could test that story for the rest of my life, or I could actually start living for me.” – Lora Cheadle

"Living for me means I am the only one that is going to advocate on my own behalf. Nobody else is ever going to come in and say, ‘Oh, you look tired. Why don't you go take a nap? I'm going to make you a cup of tea and hand you this book. Will you sit here and read?’ That's up to me to determine what I need and to create that space and those boundaries to get it." - Lora Cheadle

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Post-betrayal syndrome is a term used to describe the emotional, physical, and mental symptoms that individuals experience after being betrayed. Did you know that it affects millions of people worldwide? Over 80,000 people have taken our post-betrayal syndrome quiz. That's a staggering number! This syndrome encompasses a range of emotions and experiences, including constant regression, loss of personal power, extreme sadness, anger, anxiety, and an inability to trust. The statistics speak for themselves, it highlights the profound effects of betrayal on our lives and it's crucial to acknowledge and understand the impact it has on our well-being.

The good news is that you CAN heal from betrayal, no matter how long ago it happened or who was involved. During the episode, Dr. Debi shares a heartwarming story of a member from the PBT Institute who experienced a significant trigger. By comparing her response to previous situations, she discovered notable improvements in her emotional resilience. We explore how you can do the same and celebrate every small step forward. Remember, progress is progress, no matter how small!

Dr. Debi also emphasizes the importance of moving through the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough. It's crucial to have the right tools, support, and community to guide you along this transformative journey. If you're feeling stuck, exhausted, or overwhelmed, don't worry! The PBT Institute is here to help you every step of the way. With their resources and expertise, you can find confidence, health, peace, and happiness on the other side of your healing journey.

Key Takeaways:

[00:01:08] Physical Symptoms of Betrayal

[00:04:22] Weight gain and stress.

[00:05:25] Healing from betrayal requires healthy eating.

Join us for The Forgiveness Project!

Download your free tracking sheet here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/forgiveness/

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/

Memorable Quotes

"These stats aren't from a recent betrayal. This could be something that happened decades ago. Your parent did something awful. The girlfriend or boyfriend who broke your heart in high school, whatever it is, that person may not know, care, even remember they may not even be alive. And here you are struggling. The good news is you could heal from all of it.” – Dr. Debi Silber

"While there are many very healthy ways to eat, when you're healing from betrayal, you want to use healthy eating in your favor. You want to use it as almost looking at it like, will this food choice get me out of ICU? And you're learning how to love yourself and nurture yourself, which is something that we absolutely do not do when we're healing from betrayal." - Dr. Debi Silber

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Empowerment through financial independence is a concept that emphasizes the importance of taking control of one's finances and using money as a tool to create the life one desires. This idea is particularly relevant in the context of divorce, where individuals often find themselves navigating the complexities of financial separation and rebuilding their lives.

If you're going through a betrayal, separation, or divorce, the added factor of finances can make things even more complicated. Today’s guest, Mikelann Valterra, a Money Coach, Author, Keynote Speaker and Leader in the field of Financial Psychology, provides practical strategies and emotional intelligence techniques to help you transform your relationship with money, escape financial stress, and find peace and stability.

Mikelann emphasizes the importance of knowing how money affects us on a personal level. Does money represent freedom or security to you? Identifying your money personality can help you make better financial decisions and ultimately design a life you love.

We all make mistakes when it comes to money, but it's crucial to forgive ourselves and learn from them. Dwelling on past mistakes can hinder our emotional and physical well-being. Instead, let's focus on moving forward and creating a plan to improve our relationship with money. Mikelann reminds us that we are on a journey with money, and it's time to enhance and improve our relationship with it. By doing so, we can overcome obstacles and create a brighter financial future.

If you're interested in gaining a deeper understanding of the psychology behind our financial decisions, tune in to gain insights on navigating finances during challenging life transitions.

Key Takeaways:

[00:01:49] The psychology side of money.

[00:05:30] Fear around money in divorce.

[00:09:54] Couples polarizing with money.

[00:12:26] Changing money conditioning.

[00:15:47] Creativity in meeting needs.

[00:19:34] Willingness to try something different.

[00:23:34] Financial forgiveness.

[00:25:09] Enhancing our relationship with money.

[00:29:00] Transforming Relationships After Betrayal.

Join us for The Forgiveness Project!

Download your free tracking sheet here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/forgiveness/

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: https://www.seattlemoneycoach.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seattlemoneycoach/

FREE E-book: https://seattle-money-coach.mykajabi.com/how-to-stop-stress-about-money-create-life-you-love

Memorable Quotes

"One of the things that happens when women go through divorce is your natural money personality gets bigger and stronger because there's no, if you will, opposing force. There's no one else that's pushing on you to be any different than you are. And so, when women are really highly motivated by freedom and they go through a divorce, there's a lot of fear that they're not going to be traveling the way they used to." – Mikelann Valterra

"I love saying that the art of planning your spending is the art of crafting the life you desire. So, if there is nothing more powerful than stepping into crafting the life that you most want and so learning how to plan your spending is really about learning how to architect the life that you want to create.” – Mikelann Valterra

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When we experience betrayal, it's an opportunity for us to redefine who we are and how we want to show up in the world. This is a sacred and personal time that should not be rushed or influenced by others' agendas. Take the time to reflect, heal, and rediscover your true self.

In the latest episode of "From Betrayal to Breakthrough," Dr. Debi dive deep into the topic of redefining and rewriting the rules after experiencing betrayal. Whether it's a personal or professional betrayal, it's crucial to take this time seriously and be mindful of who you surround yourself with during this delicate period.

It's also essential to recognize that tolerating abuse, whether it's emotional or otherwise, comes at a significant cost. We must prioritize our healing and well-being by seeking the right tools, support, and community to move through the five stages of betrayal to achieve breakthrough. At the PBT Institute, we provide a safe space for individuals to heal and transform their lives.

Remember, redefining our lives, healing from betrayal, and embracing change are all within our reach. You deserve to live a life filled with confidence, health, peace, and happiness. We're here to support you every step of the way.

Key Takeaways:

[00:01:29] Redefining and rewriting the script.

[00:04:09] Rebuilding after betrayal.

[00:05:13] Don't tolerate abuse, seek support.

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/

Memorable Quotes

"And I'm so proud of the ones who are diving in, doing the work and doing something really good with something really painful.” – Dr. Debi Silber

"If rebuilding is in the cards, rebuild right. If not, become your best. There's so much at stake by tolerating abuse. You need the right tools, support, and the right community to move through the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough." - Dr. Debi Silber

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Betrayal is not the betrayer’s fault. This statement holds true in various aspects of life, whether it be in personal relationships, friendships, or even professional settings. Betrayal is a deeply personal and hurtful experience that can have long-lasting effects on the individual who has been betrayed. It is important to recognize that the responsibility for the betrayal lies solely with the betrayer, and not with the person who has been betrayed.

In this episode, we are joined by Mr. Jay, a beloved Certified PBT Practitioner who works with betrayed individuals and betrayers. He believes it is an obligation to help others navigate through the stages and phases of betrayal or even prevent it from happening. He has a Master's Degree in Education, a Ministry Credentialed, a Certified Special Education Teacher, Author of a children's book, a Military Veteran, an Inspirational Public Speaker, an Activist, Wedding Officiant, and Adoptive Parent.

Mr. Jay shares his knowledge and experiences in dealing with trauma and betrayal, emphasizing the importance of sharing, and learning from these experiences. He takes us on a journey through the different stages of healing, emphasizing the transformative power of personal growth. From feeling overwhelmed and exhausted to eventually experiencing life from a new perspective, he illustrates the profound changes that occur when we invest in our own healing. This discussion offers hope and guidance to those who may be in the earlier stages of their healing process, reminding them that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Listen in as Mr. Jay discusses the stages and foundations of betrayal and offers insights on how to potentially prevent it.

Key Takeaways:

[00:02:04] Preventing betrayal in relationships.

[00:04:23] Whose responsibility is it?

[00:08:52] Unattaching the story of betrayal.

[00:12:02] Attitude trumps action.

[00:14:23] Thinking about drinking poison.

[00:18:00] Real forgiveness and healing.

[00:22:23] Breaking generational curses.

[00:25:10] Rebuilding after betrayal.

[00:27:14] Coveting your energy.

[00:30:16] Transforming and evolving relationships.

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: https://mrjayrelationshipcoach.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrjayrelationshipcoach/

YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/xfv8b4vb

Memorable Quotes

"It's good to share some knowledge and information. I always say what a waste it would have been if all the lessons I learned from my own trauma and betrayal, I would have took to my grave." – Mr. Jay

"You are now changing the course of history and the future to ensure your children are not talking to a professional because of the trauma you gave them because you did the hard work. You're breaking generational curses. So, whether it's anything about merchandise or big, huge businesses, it could also be, you know what, I when I'm six feet under, I want to be talked about in a completely different way than I would have been if I did not do this healing.” – Mr. Jay

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When everything in your life feels chaotic and out of control, taking control of healing after experiencing betrayal can provide a sense of stability and empowerment and is essential for moving forward and finding peace.

In this episode, Dr. Debi explores the significance of maintaining a healthy diet and engaging in regular exercise as a means of recovering from betrayal. By taking charge of what we eat and how we move, we regain control over our decisions and our bodies. She also underscores the significance of prioritizing sleep as a crucial aspect of the healing process after betrayal, and provides tips for creating a good sleep environment, establishing a sleep routine, and managing nighttime racing thoughts. Additionally, Dr. Debi emphasizes the need to take time for personal growth and improvement instead of rushing into a new relationship.

Engaging in self-improvement, whether through physical fitness or personal growth, empowers you to become stronger and attract healthier relationships. By taking control of your healing, you can navigate the difficult process of betrayal and emerge stronger and more prepared for the future. Remember, healing is a journey, and it's essential to be patient and kind to yourself along the way.

So, if you're looking for guidance on how to navigate the aftermath of betrayal and start your healing process, this episode is a must-listen! Tune in now to gain valuable insights and practical tips for moving forward with strength and resilience.

Key Takeaways:

[00:00:00] Prioritizing sleep after betrayal

[00:03:30] The importance of commitment

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/320-a-mini-dose-of-dr-debi-strong-like-bamboo-2/

Memorable Quotes

"It's not even that you can't sleep, it's that sleep isn't quality, restorative, reparative sleep, but that's one of the most important times to get some healing work done.” – Dr. Debi Silber

"The most important is everything in your life feels like it's completely chaotic and out of control. This may be the only thing you have control over. So, it feels good to grab the reins again, where you feel like, okay, you know what, everything else is so crazy, but I got this." - Dr. Debi Silber

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Multiple sclerosis (MS) is a chronic autoimmune disease that affects the central nervous system. It is characterized by inflammation and damage to the protective covering of nerve fibers, disrupting the flow of electrical impulses between the brain and the rest of the body. MS can cause a wide range of symptoms, including fatigue, muscle weakness, difficulty walking, pain, and cognitive impairment.

In today’s episode, Dr. Terry Wahls, a leading expert on MS and an Institute for Functional Medicine Certified Practitioner and a Clinical Professor of Medicine at the University of Iowa, shares her personal journey of living with the disease and how she went from being in a wheelchair to finding breakthroughs in her treatment. Her story is a powerful testament to the potential impact of these changes on MS management and overall health.

Dr. Terry's personal journey with MS and her subsequent research highlight the transformative power of diet and lifestyle changes in managing the disease. Her story serves as an inspiration for individuals with MS and healthcare professionals alike, encouraging a shift towards a more holistic approach to MS care. Through education, research, and advocacy, Dr. Terry is paving the way for a future where individuals with MS can take charge of their health and improve their quality of life through simple yet powerful changes in their daily habits.

Tune in to hear her inspiring story of resilience and transformation and gain valuable insights into managing MS and finding hope in the face of betrayal by the disease.

Key Takeaways:

[00:02:23] Overcoming Multiple Sclerosis through diet.

[00:03:43} Diet and lifestyle impact MS.

[00:06:02] Impact of early life stress.

[00:10:23] Forgiveness and its impact.

[00:11:18] Healing trauma requires professional help.

[00:19:01] Intense trigeminal neuralgia pain.

[00:19:54] Mindset is crucial for healing.

[00:22:09] Recovery was not possible.

[00:24:45] Clinical trial for multiple sclerosis.

[00:26:30] Hope and healing through lifestyle.

[00:27:45] Multi-pronged approach for health.

[00:29:06] A glimpse into daily life.

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Dr. Terry’s Website: www.terrywahls.com

Free Cheat Sheet: https://terrywahls.com/diet/

Dr. Terry’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drterrywahls/

Memorable Quotes

"As I look back at some of my early traumas, and I had to go through a period of forgiving. I am forgiving the individuals who did hurtful things. But the biggest person I had to forgive was me.” – Dr. Terry Wahls

"We had also asked some surveys about quality of life. And we'd get a research MRI at times zero and times 24 months. And what that will tell us is your brain volume at the beginning and at the end, because one of my hypotheses, I'm very excited about this one, is that by teaching you how to improve your diet, we can get you to healthy rates of brain aging." - Dr. Terry Wahls

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Title: From Betrayal to Breakthrough: Moving Past a Betrayal

Description

Betrayal is one of the most painful experiences that anyone can go through. It can leave us feeling lost, hurt, and confused. The pain can be so intense that it can affect every aspect of our lives, including our sleep patterns, energy levels, and overall well-being. In this episode, host Dr. Debi Silber, a renowned psychologist, and the founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute, where she helps people heal from the trauma of betrayal, provides insights on how to move past a betrayal.

Moving past a betrayal is possible with the right tools, support, and community. It is essential to prioritize our healing and take the necessary steps to improve ourselves physically, emotionally, and mentally. Remember that healing takes time, but with patience and self-compassion, we can come out on the other side stronger than ever before.

Dr. Debi encourages you to join her and take the first step towards healing and becoming a confident, healthy, peaceful, and happy version of yourself.

Key Takeaways:

00:01:00 Tips for improving sleep quality after betrayal

00:03:00 Importance of doing personal work before entering a new relationship

00:05:00 Importance of eating well and exercising after betrayal

00:05:40 Importance of having the right tools and support during the healing process

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/

Memorable Quotes

"Why is it important to eat well and exercise when you've been betrayed? A few reasons. The most important is everything in your life feels like it's completely chaotic and out of control. This may be the only thing you have control over, so it feels good to grab the reins again where you feel like, okay, you know what? Everything else is so crazy, but I got this.” – Dr. Debi Silber

"There's a version of you who is so confident, healthy, peaceful, and happy on the other end of your healing, and we can't wait to help you get there." - Dr. Debi Silber

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Tracy has been investigating fraud for more than 25 years, but she didn’t always want to be a forensic accountant. With a dream of one day being a prison warden, Tracy went to Marquette University in Milwaukee, WI to get a criminology degree. A class on financial crime investigations reminded her how much she loved Encyclopedia Brown books as a kid. She continued her criminology degree, but added accounting and economics courses so she could sit for the CPA exam… and here Tracy is, finding money in cases of corporate fraud, high net worth divorce, and other financial shenanigans.

In This Episode

Secretive behaviors surrounding money
- Financial burden of divorce
- How to detect infidelity in finances

Links

Tracy's Website

Red Flag Assessment

The Divorce Money Guide

The Divorce Roadmap All Access Pass

The Divorce Roadmap Registration

$100 off the Divorce Money Guide with Coupon code: PBT

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Institute Membership

Trust Again 2.0

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

View Details

A Mini Dose of Dr. Debi is here for your daily dose of motivation, inspiration, and healing. Tune in!

Links:

Visit The PBT Institute

PBT Institute Membership

Trust Again 2.0

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Kristi is a certified matchmaker, dating + success mindset coach, and founder of KP Matchmaking. She has a profound passion for creating genuine connections, and her unique matchmaking process allows her clients to have fun while finding the one. Kristi strives to help clients create a life they love and realize their personal power and self-worth. She is a big believer in loving yourself before you can love someone else.

In This Episode

Guidance from a match maker
Getting to stage 4
Self-love and acceptance

Links

Kristi's Website

Kristi's Instagram

Debra’s Gift to You

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Institute Membership

Trust Again 2.0

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

View Details

A Mini Dose of Dr. Debi is here for your daily dose of motivation, inspiration, and healing. Tune in!

Links:

Visit The PBT Institute

PBT Institute Membership

Trust Again 2.0

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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317: The Betrayal of Motherhood W / Klara Sedlacek

Klara Sedlacek empowers stressed and overwhelmed moms to transform tension into connection. She creates a safe and nurturing space where moms can offload, unstress and grow whole again. She uses clinically proven mind-body practice of taping (EFT), Matrix Reimprinting and Nature Oriented Wellness to Nurture the Now and Release the Past. She believes happy moms raise happy children and that our life-long journey is to “Forget what we were told, Before we get too old.”

In This Episode

Releasing mother’s pain
Fertility and trauma
Gender fluidity as a mother
Safety in motherhood

Links

Klara's Website

Klara's Instagram

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Institute Membership

Trust Again 2.0

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

View Details

A Mini Dose of Dr. Debi is here for your daily dose of motivation, inspiration, and healing. Tune in!

Links:

Visit The PBT Institute

PBT Institute Membership

Trust Again 2.0

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

View Details

For over 15 years, Debra has been coaching entrepreneurs and executives to achieve more success with less stress. She helps them uncover and express their greatest strengths and skills, while healing unconscious parts and old traumas that block them from accomplishing what they want most in life. Prior to coaching, Debra co-founded 3 businesses and one national non-profit. She learned early on that people are the greatest asset of business, and relationships are the foundation for growth, both professionally and personally. She has a Masters in Leadership and Training, she’s a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, and a certified yoga instructor. Debra is the founder of The Success Solution, a system that teaches people to combine business brains with body wisdom, to achieve big goals in a way that actually feels good.

In This Episode

Emotions that cause physical pain
Healing the nervous system
The gift in betrayal
Listening to our gut

Links

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RTT Hypnotherapist and Mindbody Coach. Kate specializes in anxiety, fears, phobias and panic attacks.

In This Episode

Root cause of fear
Loneliness and rejection
Hypnotherapy
Steps to releasing fear

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Kate's Website

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Tanya Cole-Lesnick has been a psychotherapist (licensed clinical social worker) and coach since 1995. She received her master’s degree in social work from New York University after group therapy changed her life. She has extensive experience in outpatient hospital mental health, private practice, and wellness center settings. From those experiences over the years she has identified her most important focus—helping people to clear energetic clutter so they can focus on what matters most to them. She does this by helping clients to access and honor their truth, to change habits that don’t serve them, and to heal faulty narratives so that they are living in alignment inside and out. Her work revolves around a combination of intimate therapeutic groups and individual sessions, as the sharing of inner worlds and being human together in a safe space—collectively and individually—is an incredibly powerful combination that leads to lasting transformation.

In This Episode

People pleasing and identity
Learning to say “no”
Second level boundaries

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Tanya's Website

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Dr. Vic Manzo is a Business and Spiritual Mindset Coach, Certified Pediatric Chirorpactor, Holistic Coach, 3x Author and Podcaster. He hosts The Mindful Experiment and Health By Dr. Vic podcasts.

In This Episode

What is emotional freedom?
Breath Work
Regulating our nervous system
Mind Hacks

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Victor's Website

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At the age of 23 Danielle was hit by a drunk driver and sustained a life-altering injury to her brain. The medical world said there was no hope of recovery & told her to accept this life as her “new normal”. Although her body was physically impaired, her spirit was strong & she refused to believe their diagnoses. Her mind was determined to recover…and she did! Through the power of what she refers to as ‘Mind Control,’ she attracted the mindset, techniques, and exact quantum healing technologies needed to fully recover. She has since built an international business, authored an e-book called 'Mind Control' and shares her life-altering experience with countless people around the globe.

In This Episode

Brain Injury
Alternative medicine
Observe, realize, control, create
Finding joy in strategy

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Danielle's Website

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Cindy is the founder of CindyTalks, a platform where she discusses healing tools and stories of hope for other trauma survivors. She engages with her readers through honesty, humility and a genuine care for those who have walked a similar path.

Cindy is also the co-founder of a luxury event company, where she spends much of her time creating beautiful spaces for some of the most important events in people’s lives. Her eye for style and design has won Elite Events numerous awards and spotlight features. Currently, Cindy and her husband reside in Seattle, Washington and are parents of four adult children.

In This Episode

Physical, mental, and sexual abuse
Confronting your abuser
The mindset of a pedophile
Self-help healing practices

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Cindy's Website

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In today's episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi, Dr. Debi goes deeper into her PhD study which lead to the discovery of Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT).

In This Episode

Not relying on time or new relationships to heal
How to rebuild trust
Post traumatic growth
Using betrayal to create a new version of yourself

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What is Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT)?

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In today’s episode, Dr. Zoe Shaw walks us through various dynamics in dating and how to move on in life when we’re faced with indecisive partners.

Dr. Zoe Shaw is a licensed psychotherapist, author, motivational speaker, podcast host, life coach and fitness fanatic. She is a mom to 5 and a wife. She is passionate about helping women who struggle in difficult relationships, especially that sometimes difficult relationship with themselves.

After 15 years in traditional psychotherapy practice, Dr. Zoe jumped off the couch and now helps women using a different modality with a mix of virtual therapy, coaching services and programs, through a lens of psychology, faith and a dash of feminism, designed specifically for women struggling in difficult relationships.

Dr. Zoe is the author of the Ask Dr. Zoe Column in the Grit and Grace Project women’s magazine, She has been published in Oprahmag.com, Recovery Today magazine, Forbes and is a frequent contributor to Your Tango. You can find her in the media on Instagram: @Drzoeshaw and in most social places at the handle DrZoeShaw.

In This Episode

When does one become a forever fiancé?
Romantic relationships as charity cases
Perks of ultimatums
“Red flags” and “desires” list in dating

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Dr. Zoe Shaw's Website

Zoe's Instagram

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Heather Russell is a wellness coach, life coach, and energy healer who is shaking up the industry with her unique approach to empowering women leaders, creators and visionaries. After working in corporate for over 20 years and working as a wellness coach on the side, she knows what it’s like to experience the “hustle & grind” culture, which is a pathway to burnout, exhaustion and dis-ease. Lover of all things natural and “woo-woo”, Heather has developed a four-phase process that helps her clients heal past roots, define a new future, empower confidence and authenticity, and super charge their motivation for consistent, inspired action. She also incorporates shamanic practices and EFT in her client sessions to provide a holistic and well-rounded approach to her coaching.

In This Episode

Shadow work
Understanding our chakras
The Vibrant Woman Summit
Jobs, hormones, and relationships after 40

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Heather’s Website

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Rachelle McCloud, LCSW is a Mental Health Therapist and Emotional Wellness. Through years of successfully helping clients move their anxiety, depression and trauma disorders into remission, she has developed a program that empowers people to skillfully get rid of symptoms and heal. She is also the facilitator of the Facebook group called Releasing the Baggage of Anxiety, Depression and Traumatic Stress where she delivers free trainings on leading interventions that work well for getting rid of symptoms, not just coping or managing them. Her mission is to empower people to do their own healing work effectively, safely and skillfully.

In This Episode

High performance and mental illness
EFT Tapping therapy
Fight, flight, freeze, faint, or fawn
Turning fear into hope and courage

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Rachelle’s Website

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In today's episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi, Dr. Debi talks about habits and activities we can bring into our lives to improve our emotional self-care. What we tell ourselves every day, the routines we stick to, and the people we keep close, all have a deep impact on our emotional self-care. Tune in to learn more.

In This Episode

The “feelings” check
Have fun to reduce stress
Express what’s upsetting you
Suffering in silence prevents healing

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Improving Your Emotional Self Care

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Former BBC journalist and public speaker C J Grace dealt with discovering her husband’s adultery and then getting breast cancer—for the second time—by refusing the victim role and keeping her snarky, Monty-Python-style sense of humor. She has a BRCA gene mutation that increases her breast cancer risk. Although they may appear to be separate subjects, cancer may often follow or be followed by infidelity. CJ’s new book, “My Wild Ride: How to Thrive After Breast Cancer and Infidelity” is a candid comic memoir and uplifting survival guide. Her first book was “Adulterer’s Wife: How to Thrive Whether You Stay or Not.” After receiving a copy, Arianna Huffington invited her to be a HuffPost contributor. A BBC broadcaster and voice-over artist in the UK, CJ later worked for China Radio International in Beijing. Now divorced and US based, her mission is to help people use adversity for positive change.

In This Episode

Breast Cancer and Infidelity
Stress and Cancer
Living in the present
Revenge and laughter
Being complete with or without a partner

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CJ Grace's Website

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In today's episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi, Dr. Debi talks about turning guilt into success and happiness.

In This Episode

Guilt as a motivator
Shame after we’ve betrayed someone we love
Shame once we’ve been betrayed
Self-love, self-forgiveness, and self-compassion

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How to Turn Guilt into Success and Happiness

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Aaron Ahuvia, Ph.D., is a Professor of Marketing and research psychologist at the University of Michigan-Dearborn. He has been ranked in the top 2% of all scientists in the world by Stanford University. Dr. Ahuvia is the world’s leading expert on brand love, i.e., how love works when we love a brand, product, or anything else that isn’t a person. In his new book, The Things We Love: How Our Passions Connect Us and Make Us Who We Are, he takes a deep dive into our mysterious, tangled relationships with loved objects and activities. He is also a leading expert on the psychology of happiness, focusing on how money, shopping, and spending influence our well-being. His work has been featured in Time, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Apple News, and Glamour, and he has been a guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show.

In This Episode

What is “brand love”?
How objects connect us to people
The Psychology and Boundaries of Love
How companies betray consumers

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Aaron’s Website

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In today's episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi, Dr. Debi talks about embracing the new chapters of our life. Expecting the best, being courageous and taking action can help guide us through the unknown. New year, new you!

In This Episode

Expect the best scenario
Doing hard and new things
Nervous excitement
From unfamiliar and scary to familiar and safe

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How to Embrace New Chapters in Your Life

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David is an author, public speaker, and endurance athlete whose mission is to form more meaningful human connections through storytelling. His first book, Winning in the Middle of the Pack, discussed how to get more out of ourselves than ever imagined. With Cycle of Lives, David shares stories of people overcoming trauma and delves deeply into their emotional journeys with cancer. He continues to do Ironman triathlons and recently completed a solo 4,700-mile bike ride.

In This Episode

Emotional Aspects of Trauma
Looking in the mirror and assessing who we are
Creating a new life
Forgiving ourselves

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David’s Website

David's Instagram

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In today's episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi, Dr. Debi talks about 8 Tips to Dealing with the Critics in Your Life.

In This Episode

Finding purpose
Growth eliminates self-doubt
Responding with kindness
Criticism can be productive

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Heidi Brocke is a Toxic Relationship Awareness & Healing Specialist. After 14 years in an extremely emotionally and narcissistically abusive relationship she broke the chains and turned her past into her passion; She left her 24 years career in healthcare to be the person she needed when she herself was trapped in the darkness of an unhealthy relationship to provide hope, healing, and freedom to those whose lives have been affected by toxic relationships, emotional abuse, and narcissistic behaviors.

Today she has helped hundreds rid and heal their toxic relationships and hosts the popular podcast, It’s not Normal, It’s Toxic-rid your life of toxic people - with over a million listens worldwide.

She’s an international keynote speaker, recipient of Empowering Women in Business of The Year award by Inspiring Lives Magazine, and has been featured in both Forbes and Time Magazines for the dedication given to her clients and for her work in the toxic relationship area.

In This Episode

Running away from a marriage
The toxic personality
Rebuilding the relationship with your children
Is this relationship healthy for me regardless of what they’ve got going on?

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Heidi’s Website

Heidi's Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram

Heidi’s Toxicity Profile Analysis

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In today's episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi, Dr. Debi talks about creating new plans, budgets, and intentions at the time of celebrating the holidays after betrayal.

In This Episode

Being intentional
Planning and budgeting in advance
Finding common ground with gift giving
Seeking support

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Creating New Holiday Traditions After Betrayal

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In today’s episode, David talks about leaving a relationship (abusive or not) when you may be dependent on your spouse financially, may be worried about custody, and so much more. If you’re feeling stuck and trying to figure out how you can get out of an abusive relationship, this is for you.

David is a Christian psychologist, author, speaker, podcaster, and Youtuber. He has written 16 books, including Enough is Enough: A Step by Step Plan to Leave an Abusive Relationship, My Spouse Wants Out, and I Didn’t Want a Divorce, Now What? His focus is helping individual spouses in marital crisis. You name the marital crisis and he has a book for it. He has a M.A. in Biblical Studies from Dallan Theological Seminary and a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Western Conservative Baptist Seminary. He’s been in private practice for 35 years. He has been married to the Blonde, Sandy, since 1982. They have 4 children and 4 grandkids (soon to be 5!)

In This Episode:

Co-dependency
The kiss of death
Being dependent on your spouse for finances

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David’s Website

David’s Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube

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In today's episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi, Dr. Debi celebrates reaching over one million people with her TedX talk. What does this mean? It means that over one million people are healing and transforming after a betrayal. Let’s keep the breakthrough going!

In This Episode

1 million people are healing from betrayal
1 million people can avoid repeat betrayals
1 million people are getting through the 5 stages from betrayal to breakthrough

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A Milestone Helping Over One Million People Heal From Betrayal

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In today’s episode, Olivia speaks out about the betrayals she and so many others have experienced and continue to face every single day.

Olivia Cook is a certified Transformational Success Coach & NLP Practitioner, podcast host and motivational speaker. She helps service-based female entrepreneurs and content creators build habits to reach their next level of success. Focusing on productivity, mindset and using their menstrual cycles to their benefits. Her clients are able to increase their income, reduce stress levels and enjoy their success journey.

Her podcast, The Empowered Woman Badass & Unfiltered was made to inspire, empower and educate. It showcases badass women from all over the world. Providing tips on personal development, mindset and healing.

She is the co-founder of the Christ-driven brand, Relentless Glory. A brand whose purpose is to spread the word of God through motivation, education and praise.

Olivia is also a Christian, military wife and humanitarian. She actively gives back to her community.

In This Episode

Paper bag test
Not allowed to feel your feelings
Molestation shame on the victim

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Olivia’s Website

Olivia’s Facebook, Instagram, TikTok & LinkedIn

Schedule a Strategy Session with Olivia!

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In today's episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi, Dr. Debi talks about the 9 benefits you receive from setting boundaries.

In This Episode

Setting new boundaries
Developing respect for yourself and others
Creating a new identity

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9 Benefits You Receive From Setting Boundaries

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In today's episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi, Dr. Debi talks about 10 Simple Truths That Can Set You Free.

In This Episode

No one is against you
The 100 years rule
Be selective about who you allow into your life
Redefine success

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10 Simple Truths That Can Set You Free

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In today’s episode, Dr. Ellen talks about what self-compassion is, the benefits of it and how to strengthen your self-compassion muscle and put it to use.

Dr. Ellen is a psychologist, a registered dietitian, national board-certified health and wellness coach, radio talk show host, reiki master, and mindful self-compassion teacher. Known as The Midlife Whisperer™, she helps women have the energy, confidence, and clarity they need to make their next chapter their best.

A bestselling, award winning author, inspirational speaker, and expert on women’s well-being, Dr. Ellen has appeared on Extra, the Food Network and NBC World News and has been quoted in Psychology Today, Forbes, Eating Well and USA Today. She has written for SELF, Better Homes & Gardens and Good Housekeeping. Her latest book is Rock Your Midlife: 7 Steps to Transform Yourself and Make Your Next Chapter Your Best Chapter!

In This Episode

Grow your self-compassion muscle
Self-criticism undermines motivation
Naming emotions

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Ellen’s Website

Ellen’s Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn

Ellen’s Pinterest

10 Steps to Rock Your Midlife (FREE gift!)

Rock Your Midlife the Book

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In today's episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi, Dr. Debi talks about 6 reasons why we sabotage our relationships.

In This Episode

Unprocessed trauma in our relationships
Sabotage as a form of talking back
Blaming others to protect ourselves

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6 Reasons Why We Sabotage Our Relationships

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In today’s episode, Kute Blackson talks all about surrendering to help you heal from betrayal. He explains the grieving process, how to properly grieve without letting it take over your life, and why it is needed to truly heal from life altering events.

Kute Blackson is a beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher. He speaks at countless events he organizes around the world as well as at outside events including A-Fest, YPO (Young Presidents’ Organization), and EO (Entrepreneurs’ Organization). He is a member of the Transformational Leadership Council, a select group of one hundred of the world’s foremost authorities in the personal development industry. Winner of the 2019 Unity New Thought Walden Award, Blackson is widely considered a next generation leader in the field of personal development. His mission is simple: To awaken and inspire people across the planet to access inner freedom, live authentically and fulfill their true life’s purpose.

In This Episode

The difference between surrendering and accepting
Grieving is a portal for healing
Feelings have natural cycles

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Kute’s Website

Kute’s Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn

Kute’s YouTube

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In today’s episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi, Dr. Debi talks about the two types of betrayers that can impact our lives and relationships.

In This Episode

Healing once we've betrayed someone we love
Making sense out of the senseless
Using pain for something good
Rebuilding our relationship

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In today’s episode, Eddie Capparucci talks about what being sexually sober entails, how your inner child may be creating problematic sexual behavior, and tips for being sexually sober.

Dr. Eddie Capparucci is a Christian counselor and coach certified in treating Problematic Sexual Behaviors. Eddie has worked with professional athletes and television personalities among his many clients.

He is the creator of the Inner Child Model for treating Problematic Sexual Behaviors, a unique approach that focuses on identifying unresolved childhood pain points and teaching individuals how to process emotional distress in healthy ways. His treatment method has been endorsed by many leaders in this field.

He is the author of several books, including Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction, Why Men Struggle to Love: Overcoming Relational Blind Spots, and Removing Your Shame Label: Breaking From Shame and Feeling God’s Love. He is the administrator of two blog sites: MenAgainstPorn.com and SexuallyPureMen.com, and he is the host of the monthly webinar Getting to the Other Side.

In This Episode

Most men have an inability to emotionally connect
Seeking emotional intimacy through physical interaction
The hide and lie syndrome

Links

Eddie’s Website

Eddie’s Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, & Pinterest

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In today's episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi, Dr. Debi talks about 10 ways to boost your confidence.

In This Episode

Being self-compassionate with our thoughts
Staying confident
Rediscovering our personal strength
Looking at our situation objectively

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10 Ways to Boost Your Confidence

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In today’s episode, Carrington talks about the power of perspective and how two people can experience the exact same life event and make it mean two entirely different things. She tells her story of family rejection, malignant narcissism, and religious mind games.

For much of Carrington's life, it was a struggle just to survive, to hold it together, to stay above water.

Her childhood was filled with family rejection, malignant narcissism, and religious mind games. She has survived sexual assault, two divorces, piles of debt, abuse, the death of loved ones, and the loss of close friends. Determined not to let these events define her, she began her journey to self-acceptance. She learned the power of perspective and began to thrive when she changed her mindset.

Carrington is a single mom, attorney, business owner, and executive search professional. During the pandemic, she felt compelled to share her story; the story of an ordinary person. Candid and raw, her book, Blooming, tells of her journey from trauma to triumph. It takes you on a treasure hunt to discover the gifts in the shit. Shit is quite literally fertilizer. It is in the trauma and difficulties of life that we discover what we need to bloom into our greatness.

In This Episode

Narcissism behavior
Mindset work for internal belief
Everyone’s greatness is in their uniqueness
Outgrowing friendships

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Carrington’s Website

Carrington’s Instagram, Twitter & Facebook

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In today’s episode, Peggy Green tells her story of losing two children, how she got through it, and how she’s using her loss to help others.

Peggy Green is a mother, grief coach and speaker overcoming odds of surviving losing two children, one in an accident the other by suicide. Her mission is to make an impact and help others grieving the loss of a child, especially to those by suicide.

Her Amazon bestselling book, Life After Child Loss: The Mother’s Survival Guide to Cope and Find Joy, and Thursday Thought’s, helps hundreds in their grief journey.

Her passion is to share The 4 Cornerstones of Healing Program which is how she personally overcame her losses. She offers realistic and applicable practices that helps others to heal.

Peggy is a Colorado native who loves being outdoors. She lives in Highlands Ranch, close to her family. Peggy holds bachelor’s degrees in Business Marketing and Exercise Science.

She is inspiring and a true example that there is hope. Peggy has donated blood almost 100 times which is over 12 gallons.

**In This Episode**

How Peggy lost her two children
Not having loss define you, but refine you
We don’t know what to say as a society
How each loss is unique

Links

Peggy’s Website

Peggy’s Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, & Twitter

Peggy’s YouTube

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From Hardened to Healed Book

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In today’s episode, Roseann Capanna-Hodge talks about mental health in children, what to look for to identify mental health problems in your child, the betrayals she’s faced as a special needs parent, and so much more. Tune in here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/podcast/

Dr. Roseann is a mental health trailblazer, founder of The Global Institute of Children’s Mental Health and Dr. Roseann, LLC who is, “Changing the way we view and treat children’s mental health”. FORBES magazine called her, “A thought leader in children’s mental health”. Her work has helped thousands reverse the most challenging conditions, such as ADHD, anxiety, mood, autism, learning disability, Lyme, and PANS/PANDAS using proven holistic therapies such as neurofeedback, biofeedback, and psychotherapy. She is the author of the first ever book on teletherapy activities for child and adolescent therapists, “Teletherapy Toolkit™” and It’s Gonna be OK!™ book.

She works with kids and families with remote neurofeedback and her Get Unstuck Program™ and Raising Successful Kids Community, which are resources for parents to improve their child’s symptoms and develop grit and resilience. She is often featured in dozens of media outlets: Fox, CBS, NBC, PARENTS, and New York Times.

In This Episode

Why are mental health problems more common now?
How to know when your child is dealing with a mental health problem?
Do not use grades as a benchmark to mental health
Navigating friendships as a special needs parent

Links

Roseann’s Website

Roseann’s Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, & Facebook

Roseann’s YouTube

It’s Gonna be OK!™

FREE Coping Statements

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Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Kari Coody talks about the top 5 free ways to heal and why they work - each one of them is accessible to everyone. Listen to today’s episode to learn and start implementing these 5 free ways to heal now.

Kari Coody is a Christian, wife, mom, Integrative Health Practitioner, Pharm D., and co-host of Take the Upgrade Podcast. Helping women prioritize their health is a real passion after seeing how broken the healthcare system is. She loves putting the pieces together and getting to the root cause of her clients’ issues and walking on their journey with them. Kari’s greatest role is being a wife to BJ and mom to Edy and Cooper.

In This Episode

* Essential oils as a tool to heal

Light breaks to reset your circadian rhythm
How lack of sleep impacts us

Links

Kari’s Website

Kari’s Instagram

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, our PBT Coach Jay talks through betrayal trauma, betrayal blindness, triggers, and how to help manage and get through it all.

Mr. Jay is a Betrayal Trauma Practitioner and Intrapersonal Relationship Coach. He holds a master's degree in education, is ministry credentialed, a certified special education teacher, an author of a children's book, “I Am Loved Right Where I Am”, a veteran of the United States military, an Inspirational speaker, adoptive parent and much more.

But his childhood was anything but success. After years of drugs, dysfunction, & special education. Mr. Jay quit school in sixth grade ultimately living on the streets falling victim to abuse after abuse. After the second gun to his temple Mr. Jay vowed to fix himself so he could help fix others.

Determined, Mr. Jay put himself through school researching self-help books, therapy, psychology, and spirituality. Mr. Jay stands by his motto, “The Relationship You Have With Yourself Sets the Tone & Standard for All Other Relationships Around You" and says, "Relationships can break you but even broken crayons can create beautiful masterpieces.

**In This Episode**

What you associate trauma with
Give yourself back what was robbed from you
Betrayal blindness

Links

Jay’s Website

Jay’s YouTube & TikTok

Jay’s Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Facebook

From Tears to Transformation Journal

Free Weekly Life Tips/Hacks/Techniques from Coach Jay!

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

We’re talking about 6 reasons that we sabotage our relationships in today’s podcast episode. It’s such a common thing – listen to the episode to find out if you’re doing this too here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/podcast/

Welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi!

In This Episode:

* Holding onto the pain isn't doing anything

Punishing ourselves for the past
Trying to make someone prove their love

Links

Trust Again 2.0

Subscribetodebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Bob Hamp talks about what goes on in the brain when we face any type of trauma – including betrayal. He discusses top half and bottom half of the brain, the threat response of the brain during trauma, and so much more.

Bob Hamp is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. He and his wife, Polly, together own Think Differently Counseling in Grapevine Texas and Think Differently Academy, an online platform for community, healing and transformation. Combining a unique integration of faith and mental health, Bob’s focus is on changing thought process. When you learn a new thing, you can change, when you learn a new way, everything changes.

In This Episode

* The body talks to the brain more than the brain to the body

The betrayal trauma threat on the brain
The F’s of the brainstem

Links

Bob’s Website

Bob’s Instagram, Twitter, & Facebook

SubscribeToDebi.com

Trust Again Intensive

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Margaret talks about the betrayal of the body and how physical symptoms can sometimes uncover something deeper. She tells her story of how migraines took over her life despite taking the upmost care of herself and what she uncovered about her migraines when she dove deeper. Margaret Floyd Barry is a functional nutritionist, real food advocate, and the author of Eat Naked and its follow-up cookbook, the Naked Foods Cookbook.

Having seen family members suffer the devastating effects of chronic illness from a young age, Margaret has long had the desire to help others find a better way back to optimal health and wellbeing. Through years of experience working with the most complex client cases, including reversing her own autoimmune condition, Margaret has established a powerful system for restoring health by addressing the root cause of illness.

Today, Margaret runs Eat Naked Kitchen - a thriving private practice that supports clients in achieving true health and vitality through therapeutic diets and lifestyle changes. She also helps fellow practitioners build their own successful practice through Restorative Wellness Solutions - a 2-year certification program for qualified health professionals.

In This Episode

Mama migraine
What is the intention of the symptoms?
What is your body trying to tell you?

Links

Margaret’s Website - Eat Naked Kitchen

Margaret’s Website - Restorative Wellness Solutions

Margaret’s Instagram

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Elisa tells her story of childhood abuse, teen pregnancy, still birth, a near death experience, and more. Elisa talks about how she untangled life to build a sense of safety and security and how she turned her trauma into a wildly successful career.

Elisa Stancil Levine spent her childhood in a canyon on the American River, upstream from the site of the California gold rush. She left school at sixteen and as a single mother in Sacramento earned a degree in library science and studied creative writing. Working with partners she remodeled sixteen historic houses and was home and garden editor and feature writer for Sacramento Magazine. At thirty-six she founded Stancil Studios, an award winning, nationwide decorative finishes company in San Francisco.

Levine’s memoir shares the story of “the making of a maker” and takes place in Northern California, Manhattan and Paris. When Elisa is not writing, traveling or consulting on color and pattern she and her husband spend hours immersed in nature, running and riding horseback on Sonoma Mountain.

**In This Episode**

Nature was safe and nature was free
How curiosity saved her
The dark night of the soul moment
Getting the rage out

Links

Elisa’s Website

Elisa’s Facebook & Instagram

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Bethany talks about why so many people find themselves repeating a pattern in their intimate relationships (often not a good pattern), why strong, high-achieving women end up with draining, narcissistic partners, what loving yourself looks like, and so much more.

Bethany is a trauma-informed yoga therapist and relationship coach with over a decade of experience helping professional, high-achieving women heal anxiety, C/PTSD, find their power and skyrocket their confidence after divorce or toxic relationships. She helps navigate conflict and most importantly, co-create healthy relationships.

She is a domestic violence and childhood trauma survivor who helps women triumph over trauma, break their cycle of emotionally unavailable men and attract the love they deeply desire.

**In This Episode**

Trauma-informed therapy practices
Attracting an emotionally healthy partner
Why we end up in challenging, narcissistic, gaslighting relationships

Links

Bethany’s Website

Bethany’s Facebook

A Free Gift from Bethany!

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Sarah talks about transcending trauma and building self-trust. Listen to learn how trauma can impact us and more importantly, how to heal it.

Sarah Brassard is a teacher, author, trauma work, and life coach who melds wisdom traditions with deep knowledge of self-care practices, energy work, intuition, and spirituality to guide her audience to open up to new ways of responding to life.

For 30+ years, Sarah has guided women from a place of struggle to one of grace, peace, and ease through her signature process of sacred self-care.

As the author of Inside: A Guide to the Resources Within to Stay Connected to Your Truth, Even in Trying Times, Brassard details the self-care practices that sparked and sustained her own healing journey.

This work inspired her to create The Tribe Inside, an online social community featuring video, audio, and workbook content for healing and growth at your own pace, and a group coaching program called Awaken The Healer Inside. She is also the host of annual online event the Trauma Recovery Summit.

**In This Episode**

Sarah’s betrayal of expectations
Everything is holistic
Steps to rebuild self-trust
Feeling where stress lives in the body

Links

Sarah’s Trauma Recovery Summit

Sarah’s Website

Sarah’s Instagram, Facebook, & LinkedIn

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Juan talks about the three C’s of love, how life emulates the military, and so much more. Listen to hear more about what Juan believes we all have in common and how it makes the world go around.

Juan Lee is a transformational speaker, thought leader, and author. He has seen the message of love made so difficult that it is confusing. He removes the confusion by making it very simple. He neutralizes religions and makes the message of love universal. He finds the things that we all have in common instead of looking for things that divide us.

In religion, the vehicle is God and the message is love. Apart from God, the vehicle is humanity and the message is love. We all have love in common. Juan shows how we first learn to love ourselves and then love others. He shows how to use love in every stage of life to product the fulfillment desired in life.

Juan shows how to identify personal success making you aware of obstacles that cause growth, not failures. He gives the tools needed to operate in love so that you will never fail leading to peace and contentment. Love is for formula for a successful life experience.

In This Episode

Life emulates the military
Love connects all the components in the system of life
If you can share it with one, you can share it with the world

Links

Juan’s Website

Juan’s Facebook, Twitter, & Instagram

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Dr. Elizabeth Cohen talks about her own divorce and the support she looked for to overcome her experience.

Dr. Cohen is a clinical psychologist. She is the CEO and founder of the online divorce course and membership Afterglow: The Light at the Other Side of Divorce. Dr. Cohen’s online course teaches women how to heal, grow and thrive after divorce no matter how difficult the process has been.

Elizabeth has been featured on the Tamron Hall Show, the Wall Street Journal, NBC News, Women’s Health, Huff Post, Thrive Global, Daily Beast and Good Housekeeping. Dr. Cohen is a weekly contributor to Psychology Today with her “Divorce Course” column. Dr. Cohen hosts the Divorce Doctor podcast where she interviews people about their divorce experiences. Dr. Cohen is the author of, Light at The Other Side of Divorce: Discovering the New You which debuted at #1 in Popular psychology on Amazon.

**In This Episode**

Are you going to stay stuck in your story?
Identifying the anger
Release the fight, flight, or freeze energy
Stepping into vulnerability

Links

Elizabeth’s Website

Elizabeth’s Instagram

SubscribeToDebi.com

Trust Again Intensive

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Christy talks about how The Desire Factor can help you heal from betrayal and the thoughts, behaviors, actions, and habits that aren’t serving you. She’s talking all about how to create love, health and abundance, rather than arguing and limitations.

Christy Whitman is a New York Times bestselling author and transformational leader. She has appeared on The Today Show, The Morning Show, TedX, and The Hallmark Channel, and her work has been featured in numerous publications and magazines.

Christy teaches the Law of Attraction, energy mastery, and personal development classes, meditations, and private sessions to help clients feel more aligned with the Divine Design of well-being, abundance, and success.

She currently lives in sunny Arizona with her husband and two boys.

**In This Episode**

What is The Desire Factor?
5 obstacles that get in the way of manifesting
What do I want? Why? How?
Master your own energy

Links

Christy’s Website

Christy’s Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Twitter

Christy’s YouTube

FREE Gift from Christy!

SubscribeToDebi.com

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

View Details

In today’s episode, Dr. Brian Stenzler talks about his first experience with the Ultimate Life Tool and how it changed his life and his relationships.

Dr. Brian Stenzler is an Ultimate Life Tool (ULT) Facilitator & Corporate Consultant, certified through the Y.O.U.Instittue (YTI, INC.). He used the ULT assessment along with his formal education and 23+ years of clinical experience as a family chiropractor doctor helping families create more health, happiness, and stronger relationships.

Dr. Stenzler has an extraordinary relationship with his wife Brooke and 5-year-old son Zion. He has served his profession in numerous roles including President of the California Chiropractic Association from 2014-2016. He also sits on the board of directors for the Y.O.U.Institute.

Early in his career, Dr. Stenzler was an adjunct neurology instructor for the New York College for Health Professions. Dr. Stenzler uses his vast knowledge of the nervous system in everything he does, whether it be adjusting patients, providing lifestyle advice, coaching people on overcoming emotional barriers, or speaking to large audiences.

**In This Episode**

Starting relationships with the ULT
Attracting a new relationship with a vision board
The five utilities

Links

Brian’s Website

Brian’s Instagram & Facebook

SubscribeToDebi.com

Trust Again Intensive

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Carmen Hunter talks about her entire healing journey post betrayal and divorce. She tells about all the different types of therapies and techniques she used to surrender to help and fully heal from it all.

Carmen Hunter is the founder of The Institute for Functional Health Coaching®, Carmen Hunter Health LLC and the creator of the proven functional method of coaching Education, Preparation & Action ©. She has over 10 years of health coaching experience to include hundreds of chronically ill clients, running group trainings, and doing live and online webinars and presentations for other well-known wellness organizations. She has been educating and mentoring coaches and wellness professionals for over 8 years.

Her number one focus with her clients is to empower them to listen to their instincts and intuition as she believes that no one knows you better than you know yourself. This includes how to make choices about your health, your business, your relationships and more.

In This Episode

* Advice if you’re losing sleep

Brain spotting therapy – what it is and how it helped
Neurofeedback was a game changer
Validating your children through divorce

Links

Carmen’s Website

Carmen’s Facebook

Carmen’s Free 7 Essentials Guide

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Dr. Brian Russell tells his story of his life altering event and how he overcame it through silent meditative prayer.

Brian Russell (Ph.D.) is an author, professor, podcaster and a transformational coach for spiritually-minded professionals. His personal mission is to seek out, study, and embody the deepest truths so that he can share them compellingly, lovingly, and transformationally with others. He is the author of Centering Prayer: How Sitting Quietly in God's Presence Can Change Your Life. He is also host of the Deep Dive Spirituality Conversations podcast.

In This Episode

* Feeling of disconnection

Ran into a bank of love
Open yourself up to love

Links

Brian’s Website

Brian’s Instagram, Twitter & LinkedIn

SubscribeToDebi.com

Trust Again Intensive

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Dr. Aimie talks ALL about trauma in the body. How trauma feels, how to recognize it, triggers and how to handle it all.

Dr. Aimie is a Double Board-Certified Medical Physician in both Preventive and Addiction Medicine and holds Double Masters Degrees in Biochemistry and in Public Health.

She is the leading medical expert on addressing stored trauma in the body through her signature model and methodology, The Biology of Trauma: a new lens that courageously uplevels the old methods of trauma work and medicine by reverse-engineering trauma's effects on the nervous system and body on a cellular level.

Dr. Aimie specializes in trauma, attachment and addictions after having personal experience in foster parenting, adopting and then having her own health issues that were a result of childhood and life experiences.

In addition to her medical studies that have included Functional Medicine Certification, she has sought out trauma therapy training since 2015.

In This Episode

Stress vs. trauma
The issues are in the tissues
Trauma is your biology not your psychology
Your brains job is to make meaning out of an experience

Links

The Biology of Trauma 2.0 Summit

Aimie’s Website

Aimie’s Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, & LinkedIn

Aimie’s YouTube

SubscribeToDebi.com

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Denise shares her story of childhood sexual abuse and talks about all stages she went through after – feeling helpless & shame, masking it all, finally facing it and feeling it all shift, and being able to overcome it all and share her story.

Denise Bossarte is an award-winning poet, writer, photographer, and artist. Denise is a certified meditation facilitator and contemplative arts teacher. She is an information technology (IT) professional working for a large urban school district. Denise holds a BA in chemistry, an MS in computer science, and a PhD in developmental neuroscience. And she is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

Denise spent her adulthood healing herself from the traumatic impact the sexual abuse had on her life. She is not a mental health professional. She is a Thriver who has traveled a healing journey and is able to share a personal, guided experience for readers to find and engage in their own journey to healing, to becoming Thrivers. As an unpublished manuscript, Thriving After Sexual Abuse was a quarterfinalist in the 2019 BookLife Prize Nonfiction Contest, Self-Help Category.

In This Episode

* Feeling helpless & shame

Staying busy instead of facing it
When the shift happened

Links

Denise’s Website

SubscribeToDebi.com

Trust Again Intensive

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today's episode, we’re talking all about how an unhealed betrayal from years ago continues to set you up for one betrayal after another. You have to dig deep to find out where your original betrayal actually took place. Listen to today’s episode to hear more.

Welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi!

In This Episode:

Your betrayal could have actually happened years ago
We have 60-80,000 thoughts a day – 80% are negative
A classic sign of an unhealed betrayal

Links

Trust Again Intensive Waitlist

Subscribetodebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Sharon shows us how we can change our thoughts & our programing in order to create peace, health, freedom, and happiness.

Having spent years in ugly, violent, unhappy relationships - both intimate and friends - Sharon came to eventually understand that she was the one carrying the baggage that kept attracting those relationships. Once she delved into and questioned her underlying beliefs about herself she experienced a radical change. Now she shows (not tells) others how simple it is to make this change in their own life. They turn their unhappy relationships into ones that feel like chocolate for the soul.

In This Episode

Love bombing
Question what you’re believing
If I’m the problem, then I’m also the solution

Links

Sharon’s Website

Sharon’s LinkedIn & Facebook

SubscribeToDebi.com

Trust Again Intensive

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

Have you been working hard to make changes in an area like your health, work, or relationships and notice that just about when that change starts to happen, you start to self-sabotage yourself?

In today's episode, we’re talking all about WHY this self-sabotage comes up just when things start turning around. Listen to today’s episode to hear more.

Welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi!

In This Episode:

* Keeping you in a place where you don’t have to think

Sabotaging your success
Surround yourself with the right people

Links

Trust Again Intensive

Subscribetodebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Zoe tells her story, what served as her inspiration to change, and exactly how she did it.

Sometimes life strips away the person who you knew yourself to be. When you rise from the ashes you are given the opportunity to build something stronger and more powerful. Times of adversity build an inner strength that you can use in a positive way to rise to thrive.

That’s what Zoe did.

This is her story.

2005 was her catalyst for change, to leave an unhealthy marriage and lifestyle and rise from the ashes. What started out as a journey of recovery became a journey of mental and physical strength to become a more powerful version of her.

In This Episode

Zoe’s reason for change
When your pain becomes greater than the fear of unknown
Survival mode
Physical strength impacting mental strength

Links

Zoe’s Website

Zoe’s Facebook, Twitter, & Instagram

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

What would a shift in perspective do for you? I’m going to show you how dramatic your life can change when you go from being a cup is half empty type of person to a cup is half full type of person.

My name is Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi!

In This Episode:

The tail of the crying mom
Leaving Stage 3 & entering Stage 4
What benefit am I receiving from this experience?

Links

Trust Again Intensive

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

Carmen Hunter is the founder of The Institute for Functional Health Coaching®, Carmen Hunter Health LLC and the creator of the proven functional method of coaching Education, Preparation & Action ©. She has over 10 years of health coaching experience to include hundreds of chronically ill clients, running group trainings, and doing live and online webinars and presentations for other well-known wellness organizations. She has been educating and mentoring coaches and wellness professionals for over 8 years.

In This Episode

Advice if you’re losing sleep
Brain spotting therapy – what it is and how it helped
Neurofeedback was a game changer
Validating your children through divorce

Links

Carmen’s Website

Carmen’s Facebook

Carmen’s Free 7 Essentials Guide

SubscribeToDebi.com

Trust Again Intensive

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Lois Hollis talks about how shame/guilt (not to be confused with shame AND guilt) was the root of all her symptoms – depression, anxiety, apprehensions, hatred, and anger.

Lois Hollis, RN, BSN, REV. is a shame guilt educator, counselor, filmmaker. Lois shifts our opinion on one of the most taboo subjects, shame and guilt. As a trailblazer, she helped create one of the first Kidney Hemodialysis Units in the USA in 1966. Today Lois establishes shame guilt as an independent study. Her 50 years experience in health, 15 years research, and counseling bring NEW knowledge of these misunderstood conditions to release us from shame guilt blaming. Lois’ first film, Out of Discord Into Harmony, was released in 2008 and teaches how to communicate with your inner self. Her new film I’M GOOD makes shame guilt visible. She shares 3 books. She was given a death sentence at 55 and now thrives at 77. Lois shows us how.

In This Episode

Personalizing your trauma filled experience
What do you do about shame?
Shame/guilt vs. shame AND guilt

Links

Lois’ Website

Lois’ Now is The Time eBook

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

Finding it challenging to commit to new habits or goals? Here’s one of my best hacks for making sure I do things that I want to do. My name is Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi!

In This Episode:

Declare your actions to ensure you do it
Building self-trust
Healing from trust – start here

Links

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Dr. Danny Brassell talks about why books and reading may be an effective strategy to help us heal from betrayal.

A highly-sought after speaker, trainer and coach known as “Jim Carrey with a Ph.D.,” Dr. Danny Brassell has spoken to over 3,500 audiences worldwide and authored 16 books, including his latest, Leadership Begins with Motivation. He is the co-founder of www.theREADINGhabit.com, the world’s top reading engagement program.

In This Episode

The people that are rewarded, are the people that take action
How books bring people together
PS I Love You – what it means as the hierarchy of needs

Links

Danny’s Website

Danny’s Instagram & Twitter

Danny’s Facebook & LinkedIn

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Dr. Brian Stenzler talks about his first experience with the Ultimate Life Tool and how it changed his life and his relationships.

**In This Episode**

Starting relationships with the ULT
Attracting a new relationship with a vision board
The five utilities

Links

Brian’s Website

Brian’s Instagram & Facebook

SubscribeToDebi.com

Trust Again Intensive

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

254: A Dose of Dr. Debi: How Your Stress is Impacting You

I see so many people coming into The PBT Institute with so many physical symptoms, illnesses, sicknesses, and even disease. All of it coming from stress.

My name is Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi!

In This Episode:

How your stress response works
Stress and gut health
Stress settles in your body impacting body composition

Links

Subscribe to Debi

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Sandy discusses how to use your betrayal to create a spiritual awakening.

Discover true freedom by awakening new levels of awareness. Sandy is a spiritual teacher who supports conscious leaders in redesigning the unconscious mind that drives habits, patters and behaviors. Sandy combines the wisdom of Yoga Science, Eastern Philosophy, Ayurveda with modern day science to help high performers enhance their lifestyle. She’s worked with CEO’s, entrepreneurs, executives, healers, and authors. Sandy is the founder of Prosperous School of Self Realization, a 90-day leadership program and founder of Prosperous the Podcast.

In This Episode

Using pain to find purpose
Making decisions based on external programming
Masculine and feminine energy

Links

Sandy’s Website

Sandy’s Podcast

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

When we’re under stress, sleep is one of the first things that is compromised. And it’s deep, quality and restorative sleep that helps us heal. Let's discuss combating this issue.

My name is Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi!

In This Episode:

Why sleep is crucial during times of stress
Supplementation for quality sleep
Improve your sleep hygiene

Links

Sleep Supplement

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Elizabeth discusses identifying the disconnect between what you’re thinking and feeling about your vision for and the reality of your life.

Elizabeth Tripp is a New York City based Lifestyle Design Coach and Spiritual Teacher. As a featured radio talk show host on TalkRadio. NYC, a Thrive Global Contributor, and a national public speaker, Elizabeth is recognized as a thought leader in spirituality, well-being, and prosperity.

In This Episode

Masking your lack of fulfillment
Thoughts create reality
The catalyst of transformation

Links

Elizabeth’s Website

Elizabeth’s Facebook

Elizabeth’s Instagram

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Sara Schulting Kranz talks about figuring out your truth, what it feels like to discover and know your truth, and grounding yourself in the process of it all.

Sara Schulting-Kranz is an author, keynote speaker, trauma and personal leadership authority, wilderness guide, and expert in utilizing nature healing.

As a multiple trauma survivor, Sara Schulting Kranz, like millions of others in this world, suffered from severe Complex-PTSD that almost took her life, and could have left her three children motherless. She navigated through her anger, pain, and grief while outdoors.

Sara harnessed the healing power of nature through her own PTSD and intense trauma recovery, which included somatically healing through nature while practicing the art of forgiveness for herself, others, and the world.

Now Sara coaches clients, leadership executives, and organizations on the necessity and benefits of using nature for mental and emotional health.

You will find Sara speaking to businesses, corporations, and running executive leadership workshops, in addition to leading healing, transformational, and leadership retreats in nature.

**In This Episode**

Who are you as a human being?
Respond don’t react
What is your truth? This is what your truth feels like.
Feel the moments

Links

Sara’s Website

Sara’s Instagram & Facebook

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Elena Mosaner discusses hypnosis as a coping mechanism for difficult life experiences – betrayal, heartbreak, and more. Mosaner is an ICF (International Coach Federation) certified professional coach, NGH (National Guild of Hypnotists) Certified Hypnotists, Certified Hypnotherapist and book author. She holds a Bachelor of Science degree in Creative Writing and Film as well as a Master of Science degree in Executive Coaching and Organizational Behavior. Throughout the last 15 years, she has worked with celebrities, professional athletes, high-level executives, and she has helped more than 1,000 people transform into their best version using hypnosis therapy and coaching.

Mosaner sees clients from all over the world via Zoom and hold self-hypnosis and personal growth workshops a few times a year. She was featured by the NY Times, NY Post and ABC GMA as one of the top NYC hypnotherapists. She is a founder of AlphaMind self-hypnosis app. Learn more about her work on www.elenamosaner.com

In This Episode

What is hypnotherapy?
Hypnosis for heartbreak
How to practice self-hypnosis

Links

Elena Mosaner’s Website

Elena Mosaner’s Facebook

Elena’s Free Hypnosis

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today's episode, we’re talking all about managing symptoms without getting to the root cause of the problem. Could your anxiety, sleep issues, weight gain, and more be coming from an unhealed betrayal? Listen to today’s episode to hear more.

Welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi!

In This Episode:

Symptoms tend to go away once you move through Stage 5
Suppressing the symptoms
Change the root to change the fruit

Links

Subscribetodebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, J. Scott MacMillan talks about the 12 stages of the hero’s journey that he walked through to take back his own life after years of holding himself back. Listen to today’s episode to hear more about the 12 stages.

Scott MacMillan is an author, entrepreneur, and certified NLP life coach. His coaching business, Hero Life, uses behavioral learning techniques, adult learning theory, and the hero’s journey to help people learn new skills and apply critical thinking to daily life. Leveraging personal experiences and psychology expertise, MacMillan helps people overcome stuck periods, both in their personal lives and in business, to step into their true authentic self. Follow him at www.jscottmacmillan.com.

In This Episode

J. Scott’s wakeup call
Dissecting the 12 stages of the hero’s journey
Becoming your own mentor
Calming the nervous system

Links

J. Scott MacMillan’s Facebook

J. Scott MacMillan’s Instagram

J. Scott MacMillan’s LinkedIn

Be the Hero of Your Life the Book

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today's episode, we’re talking with one of our lead coaches from The PBT Institute, Michelle Silva Leber, about the shattering of trust and the process of rebuilding trust after it has been shattered.

Michelle specializes in The PBT Community on the topic of narcissism. She is a TEDx speaker, an international bestselling author, the ROAR to Win podcast host, and President of Soul Shift, Inc. Known as America's #1 Resilience Expert, for over 25 years Michelle has guided people through Transformation after Trauma, Betrayal and healing core wounds.

Welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi!

In This Episode:

The fragile state after the shattering of trust
How did I get here?
You will move through 5 Stages to heal from betrayal

Links

June Trust Again Intensive Waitlist

Subscribetodebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

Staying stuck is a choice. In today’s episode, Byrdy Lynn Kelley talks about her childhood betrayal, how she got through it as a child, and how she fully healed from it over time. Listen to today’s episode to hear how Byrdy’s childhood betrayal turned around her life for the better.

Byrdy is the proud mother of one son, who is attending college for industrial engineering. She is also CEO and Founder of REAME LLC, a real estate technology company, Melan Property Management LLC, a real estate management firm and BYRDYLYNN LLC, a private publishing company. Byrdy sists on the national IREM Foundation Board and actively volunteers with the Real Estate Associate Program. She holds a BA from the University of Texas at Arlington.

She enjoys entrepreneurship and strategizing new ways to make a positive different in people’s lives. She attends Alfred Street Baptist Church virtually and has been a member since 2013. Her greatest joy lies in seeing others become happy and self-sufficient, finding peace in their own stories.

In This Episode

Finding outlets to feel normal
Rage after betrayal and trauma
Giving pain a purpose

Links

Byrdy Lynn Kelley’s Website

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Sinclair Kennally discusses 7 & 7 – the 7 common root causes for chronic illness and the 7 layers of consciousness where healing can happen.

Listen to hear Sinclair walk through these 7 root causes and 7 layers and explain how you can start paying attention to them for yourself.

Sinclair Kennally, CNHP, CNC is an award-winning expert on chronic digestive illnesses, CEO of DetoxRejuveNation.com, host of Your Health Reset Podcast, and survivor of complex chronic illness.

She and her partner, Michael Spandel, specialize in resolving the root causes behind complex, chronic illness and digestive issues. Together, they’ve helped thousands of people to get their lives back.

An award-winning sought-after speaker, SInclair has shared the stage with health and wellness luminaries such as Jack Canfield, JJ Virgin, Lisa Nichols, Sachin Patel, and Meghan Walker. She is also the cofounder of MeditationRx, a platform dedicated to people working on their health.

Sinclair's mission is to help people to reclaim their health and rediscover their creative power, so they can be who they came here to be.

In This Episode

7 common root causes for chronic illness
7 layers of consciousness where healing can happen
The truth about “trusting your gut”

Links

Sinclair Kennally’s Website

It Starts in the Gut Summit

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Dr. Serena Sterling talks about her childhood betrayal of not being heard, what it led to, and how she recovered from it. Listen to learn about how your emotional feelings can turn physical and what you can do about it.

Serena holds a master's in International Journalism, a doctorate in linical psychology, and is a certified Life Coach. Due to her own experience of overcoming chronic fatigue syndrome and finding ways to alleviate her own chronic pain from years of living with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, Dr. Sterling learned advanced stress reduction techniques to assist others in overcoming their own health challenges.

She uses her education, training, and experience in clinical psychology to help her clients understand why they're thinking, feeling, and behaving in certain ways and combines that with coaching to keep people accountable to their goals. She helps her clients identify, process and release the repressed emotions they've been holding onto, which allows them to alleviate their physical and emotional pain.

In This Episode

How emotional feelings can turn into physical illness
Identifying pain that is rooted in something emotional or mental
Acknowledging, identifying, and techniques to release your trigger

Links

Dr. Serena Sterling’s Website

Dr. Serena Sterling’s Instagram

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Jessica is talking about how criticism effects a relationship and primary and secondary feelings, fears, and emotions. Listen to understand why we criticize in relationships and what we can do instead. Dr. Jessica Higgins holds two graduate degrees in psychology, two coaching certifications, and has over 20 years of experience helping clients achieve successful results with an integrative and comprehensive blend of psychology and coaching all in one.

Her ultimate goal is to help people acquire the insight, learning, and practice to navigate the terrain of intimacy more effectively. With Jessica’s assistance, through her online training, free content, and personalized coaching, couples and individuals transform pain and struggle into deep love, connection, and vitality.

In This Episode

How criticism comes across in relationships
Primary and secondary emotions
How to stop self-criticism
Turning your criticism into a request

Links

Dr. Jessica Higgins’ Website

Shifting Criticism for Connected Communication

Dr. Jessica Higgins’ Podcast

SubscribeToDebi.com

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

In today’s episode, Jennifer Lehr covers the relationship roadmap and how our different attachment styles impact how we show up in our relationships. Listen to learn so much about who you are and why you react and respond the way you do.

Jennifer created WeConcile to help couples get free from pain and disconnection, and to again find happiness in marriage. She spent years working on her own issues, educating herself as well as studying and training as a couples therapist.

In This Episode

How to build intimacy & trust after betrayal
What is attachment theory?
The relationship roadmap

Links

WeConcile’s Website

WeConcile Quiz

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

Ep. 240: A Dose of Dr. Debi: Getting Messy in Order to Transform

True transformation requires discomfort. Many of us don’t want to be uncomfortable so we get to Stage 3 where we numb, avoid and distract- and we stay there. If and when you make it to Stage 4, that’s where the real work and healing begins and it starts to feel messy.

My name is Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi!

Today, we’re going to talk about facing it, feeling it and healing it.

In This Episode:

Getting stuck in Stage 3
Where it starts to get messy in the healing process
If it’s looking really messy & feeling uncomfortable, keep going!

Links

Trust Again Intensive

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

239: A Dose of Dr. Debi: PBT Lead Coach Talks About Building Trust In today's episode, we’re talking with one of our lead coaches from The PBT Institute, Peggy Porter, about the shattering of trust, forgiveness, reconciliation, and what it looks like to take that leap of faith to begin the process of learning how to trust again.

Peggy specializes in The PBT Community on reconciliation and forgiveness. She is an advocate and teacher in the practice of self-care, self-compassion and self-love.

Welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi!

In This Episode:

Forgiveness has so much to do with us, reconciliation has so much to do with another person
Forgiving too early
Rebuilding yourself
How being in a community can help with rebuilding

Links

Trust Again Intensive

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

238: A Dose of Dr. Debi: What's the ROI on Your Questions?

At some point, asking yourself “why” does more harm than good. There comes a time where you’re marinating in the why and it’s no longer helping you on your healing journey.

My name is Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi!

Today, we’re going to talk about the ROI of your questions when trying to heal from a betrayal and what may be a better use of your time and energy.

**In This Episode:**

Asking yourself “Why did this happen?”
Look at the ROI of spending your time & energy asking “why”
Your energy could be spent better elsewhere

Links

Trust Again Intensive

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

It seems obvious. Of course, you’re ready to heal! We go through 5 stages in order to fully heal. However, most people find themselves stuck in Stage 3.

My name is Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi!

Today, we’re going to talk about why it is so common to land and stay in Stage 3.

**In This Episode:**

Moving through Stages 1 & 2
WHY we get stuck in Stage 3
Moving past Stage 3 into 4 & 5 to truly heal

Links

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

While we’ve been taught that time heals all wounds, that’s not true when it comes to betrayal. I have proof of that. Over 50,000 people have taken the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz and I’ve seen many, many people who have been betrayed 15, 35, 40 years ago who are still struggling to trust fully.

My name is Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi!

Today, we’re going discuss what an unhealed betrayal looks like.

**In This Episode:**

Most get stuck in Stage 3 out of the 5 Stages when healing from a betrayal
This is what unhealed betrayals look like as it relates to your work, health, and relationships
Do you want to take your unhealed betrayal forward with you?

Links

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again Book

From Hardened to Healed Book

View Details

People who undergo painful and traumatic experiences tend to suffer from chronic stress. Cortisol, a primary stress hormone, increases as a result. The higher amounts of this hormone in the body cause a drop in the levels of progesterone, a female hormone that is crucial for the regulation of ovulation and menstruation. When this happens, estrogen dominance occurs, bringing with it a myriad of symptoms, including lumpy and fibrocystic breasts, period problems, thyroid nodules, weight gain, and hot flashes.

In today’s episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Integrative hormone and nutrition expert Magdalena Wszelaki shares with us some excellent ways on how she was able to restore her hormonal balance, so like her, we can also look, feel, and live better.

About Guest/Topic

Magdalena Wszelaki is the founder of Hormones Balance, a thriving online community dedicated to helping women balance hormones naturally. Magdalena is a nutrition coach, certified herbalist, a published bestselling cookbook author, speaker, and educator. She’s got a long history of hormonal challenges. Her health crisis was the direct result of her highly stressful life in advertising - starting from autoimmune conditions such as Graves’ and Hashimoto’s Disease to total burnout and estrogen dominance. Today, she is in full remission and lives a symptom-free life. She has dedicated herself to teaching women how to find their sacred hormonal balance with her books, online programs, and education.

In This Episode

Who is Magdalena Wszelaki? [0:08]
What happens when you have stress-related symptoms and what is estrogen dominance? [1:50]
What can you do to manage your hormones? [13:16]
…and many more

Quotes

“I think you can only improve your health when you look back at what has happened and then you know, say, hey, look.. I’m never going to this again, right? Or if I’m stressed and it’s inevitable because a lot of times, we just can’t avoid it then, I’m gonna equip myself with all the tools I know, that I’ve learned to really increase the sense of resistance in my body. That I’ve got a little armor on me, right?” [12:11]

“When you start off your day with a lot of sugar and even if it’s just a bowl of cereals or a bowl of oatmeal with fruit on it and drizzled with some maple syrup, well guess what? You’re just giving yourself a sugar bomb. And the problem is that when you’re already stressed out, you’re already throwing your hormones out of balance with stress…remember that sugar is insulin and insulin is a hormone, too, so you’re really adding to the fire.” [27:37]

“Pick something that you can really do something really, really nourishing, nurturing for yourself in time of stress…The truth is you don’t just have to do everything...It’s really one step at a time. Every small change matters.” [31:09]

“Making small changes like including quality Vitamin C, Zinc and Magnesium can make a huge difference in how you feel.” [33:22]

Resources Mentioned

Hormones Balance Website

Overcoming Estrogen Dominance

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

From Hardened to Healed: Release Resistance, Get Unstuck, and Create a Life You Love

Healed or Hardened quiz

View Details

Sometimes, our relationships can hold us back from making crucial changes in our lives. We don’t want to outgrow them, so we end up sabotaging ourselves: whether it be through food, drugs, alcohol, reckless behavior, and the like.

My name is Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi.

Today, I’ll be discussing how you can stay connected with people who make you feel safe and comfortable while achieving personal growth and development.

In This Episode

Find out how sabotaging yourself begins
Recognize self-sabotage and how it manifests
Learn how to make changes that help you move forward

Transcription

Hi there, Dr. Debi here. Welcome to another Dose of Dr Debi. Today I want to talk about sabotage and I want to talk about a specific way we sabotage ourselves. This is something I see all the time. I see our members within The PBT Institute do it. I see friends do it. I see family members do it and I've done it myself. And I want to bring it up because if you know what you're doing here, you can you can make some changes that'll really help move you forward instead of keeping you stuck-it's all about moving forward instead of keeping you stuck.

So, I did two TEDx talks. The first one was about sabotage: Stop Sabotaging Yourself, and I remember seeing this so often with a lot of clients back then, and it really got me thinking about how we sabotage ourselves to prevent outgrowing a certain relationship, whether it's with a partner, with friends, with relatives with whatever. It happens so often so I want to talk about it to see if you're doing this because if you are, I want you to know about it so then you can make some changes.

What happens is, there comes a time where what used to work doesn't work anymore. What used to fit doesn't fit anymore. What used to make sense doesn't make sense anymore. It's like that little tap on the shoulder we get. It's like, “Hey, time to make some changes.” And here's where we use things like food, drugs, alcohol, work, tv, keeping busy, reckless behavior to numb, avoid and distract ourselves from that voice, from that noise. Why? We don't like change. We have it all figured out. And if all of a sudden we address that we fear, well that's going to, invite all of these questions, all these questions will invite all this change all this change will shake up everything that I've figured out already. So, we’d rather not.

Instead, what we do is, we use those things to numb avoid distract yourself. It's really funny, it's almost like (now I'm totally dating myself), but remember when you were a little kid if you're 50 and above, I guess, I don't even know maybe young people still do this, who knows. But, when I was little, if someone said something I didn't want to hear, you know, you stick your fingers in your ear and you're like; “La, la, la, I don't hear you. Well, when we use food, drugs, alcohol, work tv keeping busy, reckless behavior, that's the adult version of that same game. But, you can't very likely go into your boss's office and he or she is asking you to do something you stick your fingers in your ear, and say; “La, la, la I don’t hear you.” It really may not be the most mature thing, if you do that with your friends or your partner. So what we do is, we sort of stuff it, and we just handle it.

But then there comes a time where the voice gets louder and louder. So the stakes get bigger and bigger. So if it used to take one glass of wine, now it's taking two. If it used to take a few cookies, you're eating a whole sleeve of cookies. If it used to take one show, now you're binge watching the whole series, One shopping spree, now it's double the price, whatever it is for you. And the stakes, the stakes get bigger and bigger and bigger until and unless you do something about it. Then there's that moment where you realize, “Okay, it's time to grow, it's time to change.” What does that look like, what does that feel like? Now you're on this path, and you're exploring and you're doing new things. It's like a kid in a candy store, If you remember the first time you ventured into the personal development world or the world of spirituality or something that- it was just so new and interesting for you.

You just took to it and you just kept going and going and growing and growing. But what happens is, the people around you may not. And then you're in sort of a little bit of an odd predicament here because they haven't changed. It's not them, it's you. You're changing, we can even see this, we even see this with changes in your eating habits here you were you had your food buddy, and you and your food buddy we're having nachos and margaritas and all of a sudden you're on this healthy eating plan.

Well, two things going on with your food buddy now. They're worried, they're afraid. First of all, now they have to look at what they may or may not be doing right or may or may not be willing to do. And there's this little fear of abandonment- if you're off in this new direction where does that leave them? So there is a lot going on, but what happens is were off in this new direction and it feels good.

So for those of you who are watching we're going to explain what I'm doing with my hands. Those of you who have seen lots of my talks you've seen this over and over. So here we are, and then all of a sudden we rise (and I'm raising my hand) , both hands were level, and now I'm raising one hand so we are improving physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically spiritually, but the other person is right here, and we don't want to outgrow them. We fear; “Oh, where are my people, where are my friends, where are my partners, were my coworkers? So do you know what we do? We sabotage ourselves, (and what I did was I brought my hand right down.) And so we sabotage ourselves but you know what, we like it up here (and I raised my hand up again.) This feels good. This feels like where we want to be, but all of our people haven't changed, it's us, so we keep sabotaging ourselves so that we don't outgrow them.

But you know what happens as we go? (and I'm moving my arm up again my hand up again.) Now we're like, Well why don't they do this? (I’m raising my other hand.) Well, because that's not what they're ready for just as before you are ready you weren't ready for it. So inevitably, what happens is we do this, (I'm raising up that arm,) and the other people is here. And then we sort of get this weird dynamic where we're like; “Oh, I don't seem to resonate with you anymore” and they're looking at you like; “What the heck happened to you?”

So, what we really need to do and the way that it prevents this sabotage, (because we don't want to be alone here), we don't want to outgrow our tribe, our group, our community, whoever we've felt so comfortable and safe with. So, instead of sabotaging ourselves so that we don't outgrow them what I have found in my 30 plus years of coaching is one of the simplest ways to manage this.

You continue to do the work, don't let anything stop you, but here's what you need to do, so that you don't fear outgrowing these people. Your goal, as well as doing the work is you need to find people at this new like-minded level you're seeking. So whether that's in certain groups, certain mastermind groups, people who read the same books, that have the same hobbies, have the same interest, whatever it is, it doesn't even make a difference. The idea is, if you seek out those people as you're doing that work, and then you meet up with these new people, you don't fear the; “I don't have anybody, I feel, only a loss.” What then happens is you continue to do the work, you now are part of a group, and a community, and like-minded people that get you, that understand this unique language you speak. For example, I have an online business, and that is a completely different language for a lot of other people. So having like-minded people who understand that it's a different it's a different conversation. But what happens is when you take care of that up here, you don't fear the growth. You also take the pressure off the people here, so you can love and appreciate them for who they are and where they are. You can love when you see them and connect the way you did before. If that still resonates if not that's, that's okay too. But because you're not alone in the stratosphere here with your new ideas and new thoughts and your new everything, it's not as scary and it takes the pressure off of who you feared, leaving behind here.

For example let's take that food buddy, so here you are here was your food, buddy. You were meeting every week and, and, doing your thing, and now all of a sudden you're exploring healthy eating and this and that and you are loving it, you're learning about all these new things and meeting up with all these new people who share the same ideas about food and community. You join all these groups about healthy eating this and that, and you love it. Well you know what? Now that you have this group and it's satisfying that need, when you see this person who still was your previous food buddy, of course you want them to join you, but you don't feel the pressure that I have to sabotage myself in order to stay connected with this person. You can love and appreciate them for who they are and where they are. Now that's not to say if at some point along their journey when they're ready, when they're willing when they're able, they won't do the same thing, but that's completely on their terms.

I just found that we do sabotage ourselves so often, because we worry oh I'm going to make all these changes and what happens to that connection. Well, when we take care to make new connections, we're not just sort of headed off in this new direction without a clue of where we're headed, and at the same time, it takes pressure off of the connections that we had. Now it’s a bit different when we're talking about a romantic relationship because that's a whole different story and maybe I'll do a whole other topic on what happens when you are doing the work, to heal or just to grow physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and that person is stuck right here that's step one. That's step one. And it depends on what the need is here, is it just that you love and appreciate this person for where they are but they don't have similar interests, so you find people here, where you can? Let's say, explore new interests, that don't damage the relationship or whatever it is? That’s a whole very different experience, but something that we can take on for another day.

What I wanted to be sure I shared was it when you have that group, when you seek out these people, these like-minded soul warriors- whatever you want to call them, you don't fear the growth as much, because you have your people, it takes pressure off of the old group, and you don't feel so alone.

So I hope that I hope that helps. Out of the two TEDx talks I did, this would be more aligned with that first one what we just talked about Stop Sabotaging Yourself so if it serves, definitely watch that watch that TEDx talk.

If you haven't taken the healed or hardened quiz, you're going to want to do that because we will show you which force of nature you are, you'll know exactly out of the five Stages from betrayal to breakthrough which also resonate to just an old set of lingering beliefs that no longer serves other types of traumas, it really works for a lot of them. Take the quiz and you're going to see where you land. And of course, share the podcast with anybody who would benefit from this information so healed or harden quiz, go take the quiz and stop sabotaging yourself. I'll see you next time. Bye.

Resources Mentioned

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

TEDx talks

Stop Sabotaging Yourself

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

healedorhardenedquiz.com

View Details

Words are powerful and if left unchecked, they can cause self-sabotaging behaviors and thoughts. This is what happened to Kiko Ellsworth, but he is a living example that you can create a path of healing by getting to the core of who you truly are.

Kiko’s confidence eroded after hearing his dad say he couldn’t do something. It led him to years of searching for external validation only to realize that self-worth comes from within, not from others. In today’s insightful episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, he shares with us how harnessing the power of self-love changed his life.

About Guest/Topic

Kiko Ellsworth is an Emmy award-winning actor, producer, and director who has appeared in hundreds of television episodes, films, and commercials. Several years ago he dropped all his agents and managers, walked away from the entertainment industry to build a more fulfilling life for himself.

He is now a Kundalini Yoga teacher and men's evolutionary life coach. He also teaches women self-defense and is the founder of an online school called Ma’at University. He hosted and emceed Evolving Men of Color, a one-day virtual summit that focused on teaching men of color to be more empowered and provided them with the tools they need to be more successful in every area of life.

In This Episode

Who is Kiko Ellsworth? [0:11]
What happened to Kiko when he was 5 years old? [3:36]
What was Kiko’s life like and what did he do to change it? [6:34]
…and many more

Quotes

“I did lots of stuff in my life but I didn’t have me. I didn’t have me. And so, you know, that was always an underlying self-sabotage feeling that I had. Just at, you know, right here in my shoulder, no matter what I did, what I accomplished, where I went, it was always right there.” [5:18]

“I never felt myself. I had to keep doing these external things to sort of build up an area inside of me that was like a black hole that they would never fulfill because I was constantly looking for these external validations, these external tools, these external things to fill something that I could only be fulfilled from the inside out not the outside in.” [7:38]

“No one’s gonna give you the answer. The answer is going within….You’ve gotta figure this out. You go to do the work, that’s the key. And there are no shortcuts. You are a champion. You are a queen, a king, an empress. You are the light. You are divine. You are the love. You are the power... Love is the only power and you are love, but you gotta figure out the love that is you…Once you figured that out you’ve got everything." [18:53]

“While you are struggling, find the beauty. Find the love in the struggle. Because look, no matter what you feel about where you are right now, this is life. And once, you can establish certain truths, then you start build yourself out. Life is beautiful, no matter how you feel about it.” [25:03]

Resources Mentioned

Kiko Ellsworth

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

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We often do things unconsciously to preserve our memories of precious people who have gone before us. Sometimes, remembrance takes the form of bad habits that we need to break. But how can you stay connected with your departed loved ones without getting yourself stuck?

My name is Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi.

Today, we will be discussing how you can be intentional in incorporating new beliefs and behaviors into your routine while maintaining that deep connection with your loved ones.

In This Episode

Find out how people keep their pain alive
Understand the root cause of some bad habits
Learn how to get unstuck and move forward

Transcription

Hi there, welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi. So this was coming up within The PBT Institute with some of our members and I'm wondering if it's something that may be happening to you. I want to make sure I share it so this way, if it's something you're doing, you know why.

Have you ever felt like you're stuck, you feel so stuck, you're doing the work, you're trying to change your beliefs, you're trying to incorporate these new habits into your routine and there is just something about it that no matter what you do, you cannot move forward? And what happens is you keep trying these new things, you keep getting aggravated and discouraged and thinking; “I don't get it. I'm doing everything, why am I still stuck?”

Well here's something that I've found and this is my over 30 years of coaching. I have seen this come up a few times, and I'm wondering if it's something you may be doing. I remember years ago when I was working with someone and she explained this version of herself she wanted to be. Beautiful, fit, healthy, successful. I mean it was this amazing image. I asked her where she was right now, and she described herself and she wasn't really eating well, she didn't have the best belief system in place, she was settling for relationships and work that she wasn't really happy about. And she smoked cigarettes. I asked her; “What's up with the cigarettes? That version of you that you described, I can't imagine that version of you smoking cigarettes.”

She didn't know either, and she was really stuck so I started diving deeper and I said; “Tell me about your about your relationships.” And she started talking and I know I'm probing deeper and trying to get to the root of things, and all of a sudden she starts talking about her mom and her mom passed away from lung cancer from smoking.

I remember at that very moment, thinking to myself, Hmm, I wonder if she's smoking as almost to keep that bond. And that legacy going. So before I had a chance to stop myself, I blurted it out and I said; “Do you think you're smoking has anything to do with your mom?” And she looked at me, it was that deer in the headlights look and I know we're onto something. And I kept going and I said; “Well, would your mom want you to smoke? And she said; “Absolutely not.” And we realized, she was grieving and mourning the loss of her mom and it was almost like if she kept smoking, that would continue that bond.

So we don't want to break those bonds, if that's all we have left. So I shifted the conversation and asked: “What would happen if, instead of the bond, being that you continue to smoke, what would it be like if instead, in honor of your mom, you stopped smoking? So, it still had to do with her mom, it still had to do with that deep connection, but now she's doing something really positive with it instead of really something negative.

It was the last cigarette she ever smoked.

And it came up again recently where one of our members was stuck, just so stuck doing all the work, doing all the right things, and just stuck. And so I brought this up again. And it was a family issue going way, way, way back where playing a certain role, and acting in a certain way, would keep this legacy alive. And so then I asked; “Now that this person is on the other side, would they want you playing small would they want you staying safe would they want you not living the best of your ability and becoming your highest and best? “Well of course not.”

“So what if, instead of keeping that bond going by keeping those beliefs going, and even though that's all we have left with that person, we keep ourselves, sort of locked in our own cage because this is, this is what we have and we don't want to eliminate and, get rid of that bond we have with them. What if instead we did this in honor of them.”

It was one of those experiences again where I just saw her face light up. And I knew at that moment, that was one of the biggest needle movers that was keeping her stuck in Stage three, talking about the five Stages from betrayal to breakthrough. That’s what was keeping her stuck in Stage three, and having her move right into stage four. I see this with so many people all the time. We’re not staying stuck because we want to. Sometimes we need the tools, we need the resources. we need just the insight or shift. Sometimes we just needed it to be bad enough, I did two TEDx talks and I remember talking about this and the first one, Sop Sabotaging Yourself saying that when the pain of where you are, becomes greater than the fear of the unknown, that’s when we jump. And that's when we make those changes and sometimes it takes, pain, sometimes it takes realization, sometimes it takes, insight, sometimes it just takes being so sick of your own story, whatever it is, it's all good, as long as you take a look and make those changes that can support you.

So, just a classic reason why we stay stuck that can be a little bit hidden and we may not really know, and I've seen it many times, so I wanted to be sure to share that with you. Speaking of Stage three, the new book: From Hardened to Healed: The Effortless Path to Release Resistance, Get Unstuck and Create a Life You Love, is now available, and we created a really fun quiz, to go along with that, which is to see which force of nature, you are, and it will. It's the most simple quiz ever, and you will know exactly where you are within those five Stages and then I will guide you appropriately based on exactly where you land. I really invite you to take the quiz and you'll find that it healedorhardenedquiz.com So just go to healedorhardenedquiz.com

Take that quiz and find out which force of nature you are. And it may be really enlightening for you. So if you're stuck, there's usually a good reason for it. And, you know, it's, here's where those traumas are the greatest shakeups because they invite us to question everything, but sometimes it is just that new idea that new insight that new awareness. So, if that's what's going on with you, where you were keeping the pain alive, keeping the bad habit, alive, keeping the staying stuck alive now you know because of that tie you have with that person.

What would happen if you turned it into the honoring of that person where you’re doing something really positive, with that scenario. Just like I mentioned with my client with the cigarettes. So, I hope that helps, again, take that quiz so you see which force of nature you are, and you got to find that at healedorhardenedquiz.com . I'll see you next time.

Resources Mentioned

PBT Podcasts

Healed or Hardened Quiz

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

healedorhardenedquiz.com

View Details

Betrayal can run so deep that it can damage your self-worth for a very long time. For Felicia Searcy, who grew up in an abusive home, the betrayal of her family left her in emotional and social turmoil for many years. Her unresolved trauma made her feel inadequate and unlovable, to the point of depression.

In today’s insightful episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Felicia discusses how she was able to rise above her story and heal from her old wounds. Drawing from her personal experiences and her expertise as a transformational coach, she is here to inspire others to turn their biggest crises into their biggest gifts.

About Guest/Topic Felicia’s purpose is her passion: to empower you to discover and express your best self as you create the life that you love. She is an award-winning transformational coach, international speaker, author, and minister who has helped thousands create a path for living their dream life.

For over 20 years, Felicia has worked with people from all walks of life who are seeking the spiritual side of success. As a highly sought-after international speaker, she has shared the stage with powerhouse leaders like International Speaker, Mary Morrissey; Founder and CEO of eWomenNetwork, Sandra Yancey; and international motivational speaker, Les Brown.

Felicia’s proven “dream activation code” helps folks just like you, accelerate your results as you create a richer, more fulfilling life.

In This Episode * Who is Felicia Searcy? [0:12] * What did Felicia go through? [1:52] * How did Felicia’s past experiences affect her relationships? [4:51] * What led Felicia to make changes in her life? [13:15] * …and many more

Quotes “Seeing people who really go through the darkest, most upsetting times are truly the most joyful. I believe it’s because they have the gift of perspective.” [19:31]

“When we harness everything that happened for us and we transmute it into, you know, first, forgiveness and deep compassion where forgiveness isn’t even necessary any longer and then, take it and put it in service to that which brings us most alive that’s when we’re contributing at the highest” [25:22]

“You do a spiritual by-pass when you think that you should be holy and noble. Well, what I invite you to do is that yes, you want to stay spiritual connected but don’t deny the human experience. Don’t deny the human feelings – there’s sadness, there’s anger.” [26:23]

“But I would make sure that I surrounded myself with people who can hold me compassionately but not walk down that rabbit hole of despair with me” [27:03]

Resources Mentioned Felicia Searcy's Website

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

A painful experience such as abuse, abandonment, or betrayal can have a profound impact on various aspects of our lives. It can leave us feeling stuck and full of self-limiting beliefs, or it can present an opportunity for growth and transformation.

Ask yourself: have your experiences left you healed...or hardened?

My name is Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi. Today, I will be discussing the healed-or-hardened spectrum, explore its possible manifestations in your life, and what you can do if you find yourself hardened.

In This Episode * Understand what “hardened” and “healed” mean * Discover how it looks like if you healed versus hardened * Identify where you are at in your transformation journey

Transcription

Hi there, Dr. Debi here welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi. Today's question is: Are you healed, or are you hardened?

This is a little bit of a preview of my upcoming book From Hardened to Healed: The Effortless Path to Release Resistance, Get Unstuck and Create a Life you Love. So let's start with a few definitions. According to the dictionary “hardened”, is to confirm in disposition, feelings, or actions. To be hardened to is to make callous and to toughen. So for our purposes, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're angry or bitter, it can mean that old baggage is just bogging you down. It can mean that limiting beliefs and behaviors have created beliefs that are keeping you stuck and preventing you from seeing things another way.

So how do these beliefs show up? Well, they show up in almost every area of life.

For example, you may see it in relationships, and it could look like this:

A previous belief that you’re less than, unworthy, broken, or not enough in some way has you settling for behavior you’d never tolerate if you felt better.

A previously painful experience (like abuse, abandonment, or betrayal) has you believing that it’s simply how relationships work, so you need to find a way to accept it.

A previous experience with a toxic friend, boss, or coworker has you believing there’s nothing that can be done about it, so do your best to accept the toxic behavior.

Those beliefs keep you in a painful place, and the longer you stay in that spot, the worse it gets. Please know that I’m not saying to flee the minute relationships get uncomfortable; that’s not what I’m saying at all. It’s often the discomfort that helps us grow, and it can actually take relationships to the next level of trust and intimacy. What I am saying is that the belief that there’s nothing you can do about it, or nothing better you can hope for, coupled with the resignation that prevents you from believing/saying/doing anything different, slowly hardens you.

“Healed,” on the other hand, is to make sound or whole. To make well again, to restore, and to correct.

Using the examples above, here’s how they’d look if you were healed versus hardened:

A previous belief that you’re less than, unworthy, broken, or not enough in some way had you settling for behavior you’d never tolerate if you felt better. It dawns on you that you are worthy, deserving, and lovable. You start by giving yourself all the love you may never have received in the past, so you realize how wonderful you are. From that space, you can’t help but radiate love, because that’s who you are. Since like energy attracts like energy, you can’t help but attract that same love you’ve been giving others right back to you.

A previously painful experience (like abuse, abandonment, or betrayal) had you believing that it’s simply how relationships work, so you need to find a way to accept it. You’ve done your research; you’ve done the work to heal, and you realize that “even though it was done to you, it’s not about you.” While that time in your life was intensely painful, all you’ve done to move through it has created a version of you that’s whole, healed, healthy, and transformed.

A previous experience with a toxic friend, boss, or coworker had you believing there’s nothing that can be done about it, so you do your best to accept their toxic behavior. It occurs to you that this was exactly the push you needed to either speak up or start that business you’ve been longing to start. You find your voice, and in doing so, you subtly change the rules around how people treat you. You simply don’t tolerate toxic behavior, and the more you work to grow through it, the more you realize that you’ve been personalizing their behavior when it actually has nothing to do with you. You see it so clearly, and instead of seeing through the eyes of anger, you’re compassionate, because you realize: “Hurt people, hurt people.” It doesn’t excuse the behavior; you’re still not tolerating it, but you see where it’s coming from, and it doesn’t hurt you anymore.

Where have your experiences left you? Not sure? No worries, that’s what my newest book: From Hardened to Healed is all about. See, nothing is wrong or a problem unless it’s preventing you from being, doing, or having what you want.

So often, we consider ourselves healed from various types of crises such as heartbreak or devastation of some kind (i.e., abuse, neglect, financial crisis, divorce, death of a loved one, disease, a tragic accident, or betrayal). We believe we’ve healed because time has passed, or because those people are no longer in our lives. While removing those people from our lives can help (such as in the case of a toxic relationship), that doesn’t mean that they still don’t have a toxic hold on your mind and heart.

Join me because I'm going to be unpacking all of this, during a book launch party for my new book from Healed to Hardened on October 5, from 12 to 2pm Eastern time so you can see for yourself, for yourself, if you're healed, or if your experiences have left you hardened. The good news is you can heal from all of it. So to join me at this book launch party, click here.

You're going to want to RSVP. And when you read that page you're going to see, you can become eligible for all kinds of really fun prizes.

There is no reason to stay stuck. The good news is, you can heal from all of it. Your experiences have created the incentive the motivation and all you need to move in the direction towards the, the health, the body, the lifestyle, the life you want and I'm here to help you however I can.

Join me for the book party here. I can't wait to see you there. Please share this with anybody who's stuck, that person who says: “That's just the way it is. This is as good as it gets.” I'm talking to that person. That's who needs this book, and who can benefit from this book party. Thanks so much and I'll see you then.

Resources Mentioned

Book Launch Party!

PBT PodcastsPost Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness
Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

Jealousy is nearly unavoidable in most relationships, and that’s true in polyamory as well. Polyamory is when people agree to have multiple, simultaneous romantic relationships. You can imagine how jealousy may show up there—but you’d be surprised at how similar those experiences are in all kinds of different relationships.

Dr. Joli Hamilton has long been fascinated by the concept of jealousy. It has featured in many of her life experiences, including her own polyamorous relationships, and eventually led to her doing her dissertation on the topic.

In this episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Joli talks about the importance of setting boundaries, investing in yourself, and taking the time to confront and understand your jealousy in creating a lasting and loving relationship, regardless of how many people are in it.

About Guest/Topic Joli Hamilton is a research psychologist, an AASECT certified sex educator, a TEDx speaker, and a sex and relationship coach. She has a doctorate in depth psychology from the Pacifica Graduate Institute and is a professor of human sexuality. She is also known for her work on the archetypal experience of jealousy. Over the years, she has helped many of her clients improve their relationship skills, giving them the tools they need to meet the relationship's changing needs. She has opened over a dozen different business ventures all while managing her own relationships, pursuing a graduate degree, and raising and homeschooling seven children.

Joli has felt all the wild highs and terrible lows that come with business ownership, marriage, divorce, and reinventing love from the bottom-up. She is committed to helping women create sustainable, soul-nourishing relationships without sacrificing their careers.

In This Episode * Who is Joli Hamilton? [0:11] * Why study jealousy? [2:25] * What is polyamory? [3:57] * Her experience with polyamory and jealousy [7:46] * Lessons from her polyamorous relationship [23:51] * How to successfully address jealousy [26:28]

Quotes “We can't just decide to start a whole new relationship structure with nothing behind us, with no background, no model...and polyamory is not for the faint of heart, right? If you're going to get into something where there's more than one love attachment, betrayal is like right there, jealousy is right there.” [5:00]

“One of the things that I tell people when they're going to have a complicated relationship, any kind of complicated relationship, is the foundation needs to be extremely secure. You need to be secure in yourselves and secure together. And if it's not then alterations to the standard model are probably going to bring big challenges.” [17:12]

“Would I change my polyamorousness? I wouldn't, because for me, that is the honest truth, that I fall in love with more than one person at a time...if I deny my own sense of falling in love, all that happens is I keep secrets, and that doesn't work for me, so instead I pull it out and it lives as a central part of my life that I stay very aware of.” [24:39]

“If we only measure our relationship’s worth by its longevity, we're missing out on measuring all the things we learned, all the love that was had, and all the joy that we found while we were in it.” [29:45]

Resources Mentioned

Joli Hamilton Website

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

No matter how much we plan our lives, the unexpected happens, leaving us completely dumbfounded. When we’re feeling lost and don’t know what to do next, it can cause deep fear, dread, and anxiety.

But while our state of confusion may feel as if it’s a roadblock to getting to where we need to be, it actually serves a purpose for our breakthrough. It allows us to dig deeper within ourselves and search more vigorously for clarity.

My name Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi.

Today, I will discuss how confusion can lead to new insights and possibly, an entirely different direction with opportunities that you could have never even imagined before.

In This Episode

Understand what happens when there’s a shakeup in your life
Discover why confusion is good
Learn how what to do when you’re in intense confusion

Transcription

Hi there and welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi. I want to talk about something today that I see a lot. It's something that, if you don't know it's coming, it can be a little frightening, maybe very frightening. But, if you understand it ahead of time, it can make you feel a little bit more comfortable.

When I see people healing, I see this a lot. It's this intense confusion. We think confusion is a bad thing, it's actually a really good thing. Here's what I mean.

Life as you had known it is going along and you know where to go, you know where to be, you have your routine mapped out, etc. It's sort of predictable. Everything is going as it's been going, and then all of a sudden there is this complete disruption of life as you've known it. And if that's not as big of a shake up as you need, what also happens is it gives you the opportunity to question everything.

It's that intense of a shakeup that it wakes us up out of this numbness, out of this sort of stupor, that we may have been in, and it gives us an opportunity to ask ourselves questions like: “What am I doing?” “What am I feeling?” “What have I been tolerating?” We begin to look at what's working, what's not working, and all of these questions come up. It's intensely, confusing. But, that's good! Because what happens is, once the dust settles, it's going to allow for clarity and possibly an entire new direction that you never would have had access to, had that not happened. Insights that you never would have had access to, had that not happened.

You know I love giving analogies so this is one that comes to mind. I write about it in Trust Again, where I explain how this confusion is a good thing. And it's kind of like this.

Imagine you're running in one direction, you are just running and running and running as fast and as far as you can, like Forrest Gump running. You're just going, going, going, going, going. Then all of a sudden you realize; “Wow, I don't think this is the right direction. This no longer serves, I'm kind of done with this.” Think about what happens. What happens is you slow yourself down. You turn, you pivot, and then you begin to move in a different direction until you pick up speed and now you're running in a completely new and different direction.

This direction may possibly serve you so much better. That confusion that we feel that feeling like we had it all together, we knew exactly what we were doing, we had it all figured out and now it's like we can’t even tie our shoes, like we can't fight our way out of a paper bag. We just can't figure any of this out. That's like the running in the one direction, the “wait a second, this doesn't serve, I don't think this is right. I don't think this is what I want to do, where I need to be. It’s not in my best interest anymore.”

So you stop and you pivot and you redirect before you take off in the new direction that's going to take you where you're now ready to go, where it is that you're meant to be, at this point in your life. So that's what this confusion is about and I wanted to just to be sure to share that because I know how painful that confusion can be.

I remember feeling it myself, I knew exactly what my life plan was, and what my business was and I had it all figured out. And then the betrayal happened, and my entire life as I had known it came to a complete crash. Everything that I thought I knew and I thought I wanted and I thought I had all figured out was completely destroyed. But in that complete and utter death and destruction of the old (and you've heard me say this) allows for the birth of something new. And when that dust settled, and when I started to see things a bit more clearly, when I was now in a mindset of willingness to say; “What the heck do I do with this, where do I go now what do I do?”

Well, that's when I got the insight, and the idea for The PBT Institute. So, you are setting yourself up for amazing downloads and insights, and all kinds of wonderful things with this confusion. Although you may be in that place of confusion right now, (and I know how hard it is) stay with it, because when that dust settles, the clarity will come, and possibly a new direction, a new insight, a new awareness that you never, ever had anywhere in your realm of consciousness. You're ready for it now.

So, I just wanted to be sure to explain that so you know what this means, if that's what you're experiencing. Now there are so many exciting things coming up! One is the release of my new book, here’s a picture because the book isn't ready yet. From hardened to Healed: The Effortless Path to Release Resistance, Get Unstuck, and Create a Life You Love. Now, this book is because one of the three discoveries that were made in my PhD study was that while we can stay stuck for years, decades a lifetime (and so many of us do), if we're going to fully heal we're going to move through five now proven predictable Stages. And what's even more exciting about that is, now we know what happens physically, mentally and emotionally, at every one of those Stages, and we know what it takes to move from one Stage to the next so healing truly is predictable.

All of the five Stages are mapped out in Trust Again. So you have access to all of that. And you can get that book, and all of the bonuses that go with it by clicking here. This way you get the book, and all the goodies that go with it.

But what I found was, most people get stuck in Stage three, and that's where they stay for years, decades a lifetime. So, From Hardened to Healed, is for those of you who are stuck in Stage three (when you know the five Stages you'll know exactly what Stage you're stuck in) but I'm going to be talking all about it at the launch of the book From Hardened to Healed so I would love it if you could join me for our book launch party!

We're having a big party to celebrate the release of this new book, and it's going to be on October 5, from 12 to 2pm, Eastern Time. Nine to 11 Pacific. To join us at the book launch party click here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/bookparty/ that's where you'll RSVP to get on the list. I'm having our certified PBT Coaches and Practitioners there who will walk themselves through the five Stages so you know what it looks like and you know what each Stage, looks like. It's just going to be an incredible celebration of possibility, and of course I'm going to have all kinds of prizes and bonuses, too.

So, reserve your seat for the book party by clicking here. October 5th. It's going to be a very special day. It's an incredible book that will move you forward out of Stage three into Stage four or five and beyond.

Once again, just to recap, if you're feeling stuck, good chance you're in Stage three, that confusion is very likely that Stage two, Stage three, and can also, the dust settles, reveal Stage four. When the dust settles you’re ready for your new path, and what you're meant to do, and what you're meant to do with your experience turning your biggest crisis into your greatest gift. Remember what I did. I didn't do anything you couldn't do, I just went through this intense pain and said; “There's got to be a reason for this, and if I can heal I'm taking everybody with me.” Now your insight may be much different. You may discover something very unique, from your experience, and that's what will be revealed when that dust settles and of course if I can help you with that, and if The PBT Institute can help you with that, that's what we're here for. So join us at the book party, and I'll see you next time.

Thanks so much, and share the podcast with anybody who who'd benefit. If you're stuck, if you've had a betrayal, trust issues, trust has been broken, don't stay stuck. The worst of it is over already. You owe to yourself to heal, you deserve to heal. I'll see you next time. Bye.

Resources Mentioned

Book Party! From hardened to Healed: The Effortless Path to Release Resistance, Get Unstuck, and Create a Life You Love.

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

When you have experienced a stressful event in your life, it is easy to get stuck in your worries or fears. Madhur-Nain Websters believes that you don’t have to live this way.

Madhur-Nain has discovered the benefits of Kundalini Yoga in calming the nervous system and retraining the “monkey mind.” Now, she helps others use this technique to move forward with their lives and achieve self-healing.

In this insightful episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, she discusses how meditative tools can free people from their negative thought loop and help them release their pain and attachments.

About Guest/Topic Madhur-Nain Websters’ life has been balanced by the traditions and practices of Kundalini Yoga. She has a deep love of humanity and a fascination with the human mind and human behaviors, which led her to her current career path where she uses psychology and meditation to enrich the lives of others. She received her Master’s Degree from the University of Oregon and moved to California, where she became a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She currently runs a therapy practice in Napa, California.

Her belief in the positive influence of meditation on a person’s psyche and well-being plays a major role in her approach to therapy, and also inspired her first book, The Stressless Brain. One of her goals is to bring meditation and chanting—some of the basic tenets of Kundalini Yoga—into the mainstream. As a result, she has created over 45 singles and has produced 4 CDs.

In This Episode * Who is Madhur-Nain Webster? [0:11] * How is the body impacted by stress and anxiety? [2:12] * What happens when stress is ignited and anxiety is keeping it going? [4:19] * How can yoga help with stress and anxiety? [8:25] * What is Kundalini Yoga? [22:00] * …and many more

Quotes “Words are seeds and they can plant, and become weeds and they can, you know, take over our mind and we can loop in this reoccurring worrying thoughts, or they just decompose…and that’s where we can get stuck, when we start looping.” [08:01]

“So, yoga is a meditation for your body...when you’re doing breathwork and movement and you’re holding a posture and you’re bringing that focus of flow into your body, you’re able to shift energy.” [8:49]

“Each yoga class is a little bit like a therapy but you’re not talking with other people…it allows people to be on a journey of self-discovery and more awareness. When we are more aware, then, we can say, “Oh, wow! Look at how I behaved here, and how can I change that?” [9:25]

“Quantum physics science says [sic] that, what we put out comes back to us tenfold. So when you bless your enemy when you bless those who’ve hurt us, which is easier said than done… it helps to heal you.” [17:08]

Resources Mentioned

Madhur-Nain Websters' Website

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

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Betrayal has detrimental effects on the sufferer’s physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Healing is possible, and there are five Stages every person must work through to fully heal. However, many people tend to linger in the third Stage; they get comfy there, get stuck, and have a hard time lifting themselves up to the next Stage.

Hi, I am Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi.

Today, we will be discussing the five Stages of going from betrayal to breakthrough—and why it is important not to get stuck in Stage 3. We will also tackle what you can do to successfully move through each Stage.

In This Episode

Learn about The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough
Discover what’s getting in the way of Post Betrayal Transformation
Find out how you can avoid getting stuck in your healing journey

Transcription

Hi there, another Dose of Dr. Debi. Today I'm talking about getting unstuck. For the past few years I've been teaching about the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough and just to back up a bit. If you aren't familiar, I did a PhD study that made three groundbreaking discoveries.

One was that well we can stay stuck for years, decades, a lifetime and so many of us do, if we're going to fully heal, (going from symptoms of Post Betrayal Syndrome to this whole healed, strong, empowered state of Post Betrayal Transformation), both of those were the other discoveries, we will go through five now proven predictable stages. What's even more exciting about that is, we even know what happens physically, mentally and emotionally at every one of those stages, and we know what it takes to move from one stage to the next. That discovery was so exciting, because that was the moment we realized healing is predictable.

If we are willing to do what it takes to move from one Stage to the next, we will predictably heal. So, in teaching The Five Stages and moving people through The Five Stages one thing has become incredibly clear. The most common Stage to get stuck in is Stage three. People stay in Stage three for a lifetime!

I want to briefly go through what The Five Stages are so you can see which Stage you're in. See if you may be stuck in Stage three. Most importantly, I have something very exciting to share with you - a better way to move through it. So here are The Stages.

Stage one is like a setup stage, and I saw this with every study participant including me too. If you imagine four legs of a table-(the four legs being physical, mental, emotional and spiritual) what I saw with everybody was a real heavy lean on the physical and the mental and really not prioritizing the emotional and the spiritual. What does that look like? It looks like we're really good at thinking and doing, not really prioritizing the feeling and being. We're in our head, we're not in our hearts. If we only have two legs of a table, it’s easy for that table to topple over. That's us.

Stage two, by far the scariest of all of the stages. This is the shock, D-day (discovery day), and it's the breakdown of the body, the mind and the worldview. This is like where that person you trusted takes the mask off and reveals who I've been this whole time. It's a complete shock. So, with that, we ignite the stress response and we're headed for just about every single stress related symptom, illness, condition, disease. Our mind is in a complete and total state of chaos and overwhelm-we cannot wrap our mind around the information we just learned. This makes no sense. And our worldview shattered. Our worldview is our mental model, the rules that govern us and prevent chaos (ex: don't go there, trust this person, this is how it works, etc.).

Then, in one earth-shattering moment or series of moments, everything we've known to be real and true is no longer. The bottom has truly bottomed out on us. I remember one of my study participants saying about Stage two: “It feels like every negative emotion you can imagine, getting punched in the gut, and losing a child in a crowd, all at the same time.” It’s hard, it's horrible. So imagine if the bottom were to bottom out on you, what would you do? You'd grab hold of anything and everything you could to stay safe and stay alive and that stage three, survival instincts emerge.

Stage three: It's the most practical of all of the stages. “If you can't help me get out of my way.” “How do I survive this experience?” “Who can I trust?” Where do I go?” “How do I feed my kids?” It’s that practical. Here's the trap.

Once we figured out how to survive, because it feels so much better than the shock and trauma of where we just came from, we think it's good. And because we have no idea there's a Stage four and Stage five, we start planting roots here. We set up camp here. We figure; “Well okay, this is, I have to make this work.” And we start planting these roots in this spot. We're not supposed to be here long, but we don't know that. Then, four things start to happen.

The first thing is we start getting these “small self” benefits. We get to be right, we get our story, we get someone to blame, we get a target for anger, we don't have to do the hard work of learning to trust again; “Can I trust you?” “Should I trust you?” “Forget it I'm not trusting anybody.” We start planting deeper roots.
Then because we're here longer than we should be, the mind starts doing things like; “Well, maybe you deserved it.” “Maybe you're not all that great”, maybe that's maybe that. We plant deeper roots.
Now because this is what you're thinking and this is the energy you're putting out there, like energy attracts like energy. So now you're calling situations and circumstances and people towards you to confirm; “Yep, this is exactly where you belong.” And you plant deeper roots. The misery loves company people-they start showing up now too so you plant even deeper roots. It gets worse but I'll get you out of here… J.
Because it feels so bad, and you have no idea there's a Stage four and Stage five (transformation doesn't even begin until Stage four), because you have no idea and you think this is it, right here is where you resign yourself to thinking, “Well, I guess this is as good as it's going to get so I’d better find a way to be ok with it. So right here is where you start using food, drugs, alcohol, work, TV, keeping busy, social media, reckless behavior, whatever it is, to numb, avoid, distract yourself from what's really painful to feel or face. So think about it. You do that for a day, a week, a month (now it's a habit), a year, 10 years, 20 years. I can see someone 20 years out and say: That emotional eating you're doing (or that drinking you're doing or than numbing in front of the TV you're doing), do you think that has anything to do with your betrayal or the shattering of trust? They would look at me like I'm crazy, and you say; “That happened 20 years ago!” But do you see? All they did was put themselves in a Stage three holding pattern in stay there.

That’s why Stage three is the most common place to get stuck. I'm going to share with you what Stages four and five are, and then I'm going to come back to stage three for a very important reason.

If you're willing to let go of the “small self” benefits and everything you get with it, (grieve mourn the loss, a bunch of things you need to do), you can move to Stage four.

Stage four is finding and adjusting to a new normal. Here's where you acknowledge; “I can't undo my experience, but I can control what I do with it.” And I always use the example of if you've ever moved to a new house, office, condo, apartment - your things aren’t all there, it's not quite cozy yet, but it's going to be okay. And, you know, when you're in this space, you start turning down the stress response. You're not physically healing just yet, but at least you stop the massive damage you'd been causing in Stages two and Stage three.

What's also interesting to Stage four is, if you were to move, you don't take everything with you. You don't take the things that don't represent who you want to be when you're in that new space. And what I found was if your friends weren't there for you, you don't take them with you, you've just outgrown them. People say to me all the time; “What the heck! I've had these friends 10, 20, 30 years. Is it me?” Yes it is. You're undergoing a transformation, and if they can't be there in the way you need them, you're not taking them with you.

When you settle into this space, you're making it cozy. you make it mentally “home”, you move into the fifth most beautiful stage and this is healing, rebirth and a new worldview.

Stage five: The body starts to heal. Self-love, self-care, eating well, exercise, etc. You didn't have the bandwidth for that earlier, now you do. Your mind starts healing. You're making new rules and new boundaries based on your experience. And, you have a new worldview based on what you see so clearly now. Also, the four legs of the table, (remember in the beginning it was all about the physical and the mental). By this point were solidly grounded, because we're focused on the emotional and the spiritual too.

Those are The Five Stages. Now, within The PBT Institute, we move you through The Five Stages. Our certified coaches are all certified in The Five Stages, our signature programs move you through The Five Stages. My book Trust Again moves you through The Five Stages.

Because I found that most people get stuck and stay stuck in Stage three, I just wrote another book, and this time it is all about Stage three. So if you're new to the Stages, Trust Again will walk you through all of them. You’ll hear my story, my study participants stories, you’ll learn the four step trust rebuilding process and more.

If you know you are stuck in Stage three, you're going to want to join me, because I am celebrating the release of my newest book: From Hardened to Healed: The Effortless Path to Release Resistance, Get Unstuck, and Create a Life You Love. This is for those of you who are stuck in Stage three.

So, I decided I am having a book launch party because this is a time to celebrate. We can't change what we're unaware of. So I want you so aware of where you are, so you can do something about it.

In these times of chaos, chaos as far as COVID and everything else going on in the world, lots of people are stuck in Stage three. (Even though The Five Stages are for betrayal, they really apply to any life crisis or even a set of limiting beliefs that have gotten you only so far.)

You can see the Stages even as it relates to COVID. Think about it, there are some people who are so stuck, and I get it. I'm not minimizing it at all. I had COVID, I've lost loved ones, I understand, the devastation of it. But there are some people who are just complaining: “I gained the COVID 15.” “I don't see my family.” “I haven't seen anybody and it's so terrible and it's so awful.” They have their story, that Stage three story.

Then, there are some people who look at it very differently. They've moved to Stage four, they're a bit more flexible Being rigid and you break, be flexible and you bend. With the more flexible, you're hearing things like; “I cleaned out my house.” “I'm more social than ever on zoom on FaceTime.” “I only have to iron or steam the front of my shirt J.” Some people are adjusting and adapting and being okay with it. They have clearly moved to Stage four. Others are stuck in Stage three.

It applies to so many different things. So, this book launch is October, 5th, and that is the release of From Hardened to Healed. And what I want to do is invite you to a free book launch party, where we're going to be celebrating.

I'm going to have all kinds of contests, and you're going to want to participate because I have some really fun, prizes. So, if you find that you are stuck in Stage three, awareness is the first step so that you can do something about it. You do not have to stay stuck at all, it is proven it is predictable to move through the Stages. I did the study so I can share that with you.

Yes, we know how to move from Stage three to four to five and beyond. It’s all very exciting. So I'd love to invite you to the book launch party, and what you do for that is RSVP at the https://thepbtinstitute.com/bookparty/ . It's going to be an incredible celebration. That is the day you're going to want to be there because that is the day I am going to be having amazing prizes, I'm having some of my coaches who are going to be there, and they're going to show you how, how it looked when they were in their Stage three of their five stage journey, and what they did to move through it.

It's nothing that you can't do. I didn't do anything you couldn't do. I just realized; “This this feeling is terrible. What can I do to move forward?” I'm sharing everything that I know. So join us for the book party. It's going to be on October 5 But you need to RSVP, and to do that, and then find out on that book page, how to be eligible for these great prizes that promise you they're good. https://thepbtinstitute.com/bookparty/ . I'll see you there.

Resources Mentioned

PBT Podcasts

https://thepbtinstitute.com/bookparty/

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

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What do you do when millions of people see and criticize your actions? Would you be able to take the flood of criticism and judgment? AdaPia d’Errico knows just how much of an ordeal this can be.

Back in 2018, AdaPia went on stage to deliver a keynote speech in Los Angeles, California. She talked about her first marriage, where she betrayed herself by staying even though she was unhappy. It was shared online and became viral. The video reached 40 million views with 100,000 comments and 250 shares on Facebook.

To her shock, people thought she had no good reason for leaving her husband. She was bombarded with hurtful comments and death threats, which led her to a very dark place. In today’s episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, she imparts the importance of speaking your truth, overcoming your fears, bouncing back, and so much more.

About Guest/Topic

AdaPia d’Errico is a visionary leader with 20+ years of experience across countries, cultures, and both corporate and start-up environments. She’s co-founded businesses, launched brands, and defined industries. She is a respected fintech entrepreneur, executive, and evangelist who brought real estate crowdfunding into the mainstream.

In This Episode

Who is AdaPia Derrico? [0:10]
What is AdaPia’s story? [1:35]
How she moved through her trauma [27:40]
…and many more

Quotes

“But if people don’t hear the good enough reason that matches their expectation then, they’ll lash out because there’s gotta be something inside of them that’s unhealed or that’s broken or that’s hurt or that feels betrayed, so that projection came on me in a massive way.” [6:51]

“I had to learn the lesson around honor yourself. You [sic] have to honor myself and keep saying what I need to say irrespective of whether someone’s gonna continue to attack me because that’s their issue.” [19:34]

“But if I can do it—and I’m really not that special, right? I’m not, I’m not a guru, I’m not enlightened—but if I can do it, anyone can make it through. We’re not given anything that we can’t handle and on the other side of it is our growth.” [32:13]

“You can do it. Trust yourself and if you can, like, trust yourself as in trust your heart, and trust what it’s telling you because that’s your power right there.” [32:35]

Resources Mentioned

AdaPia d'Errico Website

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

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When you’re suffering from trauma, it’s easy to be consumed by your own pain. For many people, helping others is the furthest thing on their minds. But did you know random acts of kindness have so many benefits for the giver?

I am Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi.

Today, we will be discussing how helping others can actually help someone struggling to heal from betrayal or a life crisis of any kind. We will also delve into the many ways you can extend a helping hand to someone who needs support.

In This Episode

Understand what happens when you’re dealing with trauma and pain
Discover how helping others helps
Find out what you can do for others

Transcription

Hi there, welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi. Today I just want to talk about giving. I've noticed that so often we're so consumed with our own pain, with our own trauma, with our own crisis. I get it, it's been a painful experience, something you didn't see coming happened, and it absolutely throws you. One of the healthiest ways, I found to get out of it, is through giving.

Now, I know you're thinking; “What the heck Debi! I don't have anything to give, I'm in so much pain, so much trauma!” But there's something about it. It doesn't have to be big. it can be something so small. Sometimes it's enough to pull you out of your own thoughts and your own pain enough where you just help and support someone else. It doesn't have to be big at all. It could be a small, little random act of kindness. Maybe you're paying for someone's coffee behind you online, you hold the door open for someone, you give someone a compliment. It doesn't matter. But, when we set an intention, just to do these small random acts of kindness or, or just help somebody in some way, it actually is more helpful for us than it is for the other person.

It boosts the immune system. It gets you out of your painful thoughts, even if just for a while and it can be so helpful. It's also one of the biggest reasons why we started our charity program we have within The PBT Institute (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute. We have a charity program, and every month, a portion of the first month of everyone's membership goes towards charity. Every month we also choose a Member of the Month. This is a member who's working hard, doing the work, showing up. The Member of the Month, decides to which charity those funds go. Or, they can choose to offer a scholarship for someone who otherwise wouldn't be able to afford the community.

What I love about it is that a member who's just working hard and healing from their own betrayal, because of their hard work, they're helping support other causes. We have supported the most amazing charities that I never would have known about if we didn't institute this program. Charities helping causes like domestic violence, organizations that support women and children, and animals and more. We really have supported so many incredible organizations through this program.

I and specifically ask our members to find charities other than the most common ones. They’re getting so much attention already. Instead, we look to support all those incredible foundations and organizations that you wouldn't know about otherwise. And it's been an incredible experience. Or like I said, they can choose to donate a scholarship for a month for someone who otherwise couldn't afford it.

So it helps them feel so great. Their hard work is allowing for us to support a charity. It makes me feel great because it introduces me to organizations, I never would have known about and our little micro donation is just offering some good there, so it's good all around. And so, I invite you to consider; what can you do? Whether it's a random act of kindness, whether it's supporting a charity, whether it's just giving a compliment to someone to boost their mood or make them feel better, improve your immune system (because it’s helping us just as much). What can you do to make the world a little bit better? We are in some trying times here. And if everybody just does a little bit to serve the greater good, we're headed in the right direction.

So I hope this inspires you, just to do something (and it doesn't have to be big). It can be something small. If this serves and if, if you're enjoying the podcast please share it with, with your friends, share with anybody who's struggling to heal from betrayal or a life crisis of any kind.

So many things I can offer you, but one is my book Trust Again, which literally walks you through the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough. They are proven, they are predictable, and the book, walks you through with experiential exercises, so you can move from one stage to the next. To get that along with all the goodies that goes with it, go here.

Thanks so much and we'll see you next time. Bye bye.

Resources Mentioned

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

As parents, it is easy to feel frustrated and think that we are not doing a great job raising our children. Abigail Wald is no stranger to this. After an incident with her mother when she was 5 years old, Abigail promised herself that she would be a different kind of parent in the future. But when she had children of her own, she found herself struggling more than she anticipated and felt like she had betrayed them as well as herself.

In today’s episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Abigail shares with us how she was able to move forward by finding a positive way to hold on to her core values and the promise she made so long ago. She stresses the importance of truly connecting with your children and building a family that works for everyone in it.

About Guest/Topic

Abigail Wald is a certified Hand in Hand Parenting Consultant. Parents come to Abigail when they are tired of getting pushed past their breaking point and are ready to rise above behavior and circumstance to create the life they want for themselves and their children.

Her podcasts, the Mother Flipping Awesome and Hand in Hand: A Podcast for Parents have almost a million downloads collectively.

In This Episode

Who is Abigail Wald? [0:09]
What is the silent sacred promise? [4:22]
What do people who feel they betrayed themselves as parents should do? [31:27]
…and many more

Quotes

“The moment I was a parent, I was reliving my childhood. I was forgiving my mother so beautifully and so deeply, which I had already done but in new ways. And so I then, at that point, really started to understand I am not willing to not figure this out, and it was the love of my children that carried me through.” [15:56]

“Parents are the CEO of a family, okay? And you have to have a vision. You just don’t listen. You listen and you lead, and you listen and you lead, and that’s a whole other level of skills that need to be taught to the parent and for the child.” [24:44]

“When I talk about listening, I talk about listening to a child’s soul, not just to what the child is saying.” [25:01]

“I want you to know that whatever you see out there is not your story. You have to learn how you thrive and you have the ability to transform your life. You have the ability to make change [sic] in your children. You have the ability to take your core values and make those promises come true as long as you stick to the intent behind them.” [32:57]

Resources Mentioned

Mother Flipping Awesome Website

Mother Flipping Awesome App

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

It is difficult to rebuild relationships after trust has been broken. When you lose your sense of safety and security, it can leave you in a traumatic state and hold you back in so many ways.

So, what do you do if you don’t know how to start reconnecting with others? Are there ways to overcome your trust issues and be happy again?

I am Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi.

In this episode, we’ll be talking about the Trust Again Challenge. We will identify all the ways it can help you in your healing journey, so you can begin to accept the love, intimacy, and connection that you are worthy of.

In This Episode

Discover what happens when trust is broken
Learn how healing is predictable
What is the Trust Again Challenge?

Transcription

Hi there and welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi. Today I am talking about trust, which is something that is so foundational. When trust is shattered, it is really hard to feel safe and secure because trust sets the foundation for our sense of safety and security. So, when that person or those people who created that sense of safety and security, when they're the very ones to shatter it, it's traumatizing.

So many of us don't regain that sense of trust and we walk around feeling unsafe and insecure and anxious. Can you repair trust? I say no. Can you rebuild it? Yes, and I can teach you exactly how to do that.

I look at trust, like a brick wall. And the only way I know of a brick wall being built is brick by brick by brick. It can take a really long time. Every opportunity someone has to show they’re trustworthy represents one brick in the brick wall. So now imagine the person who built that brick wall goes along and shatters the whole thing. Now, the person whose trust was shattered, they have every right to look at the brick wall and say; “I don't have the least bit of interest in watching that thing get rebuilt.” That’s completely fine and with that, they heal themselves and move along. However, if they're willing to watch that brick wall be rebuilt, the person who shattered that brick wall has to be a really good bricklayer. And, the only way it can be repaired is the same way it went up the first time, brick, by brick by brick. Every opportunity that person has to show that they're trustworthy, that represents one brick in that brick wall. So, you can see why it would take a lot of time and effort.

Now, what I see many people doing is this. Trust has been shattered. The person who shattered the trust is kind of nonchalant about the whole thing, and the person whose trust was shattered is like; “Oh, forget it. Now I'll build the brick wall” just because they’re in pain and it’s uncomfortable. They don't like the feeling and they just want the painful emotions to go away.

When the person whose trust was shattered is the one who builds the brick wall, you can't feel safe, you don't feel secure, your level of anxiety is always high because you don't know if you can trust that other person.

So, if all of this resonates, I'm having a Trust Again Challenge . Now I've done this, I think three or four times before. This is such a much loved activity that I’m bringing it back, and people who have done the Trust Again Challenge 2, 3 times! They get so much out of it, so I'm bringing it back because especially in these times, we do not feel safe, we do not trust, and we need to get back that sense of trust.

There are these stages that we need to go through to rebuild trust Now I did a PhD study on betrayal. We made three discoveries. One of them was that while we stay stuck for years, decades, even a lifetime and so many of us do, if we're going to fully heal, we're going to move through five now proven and predictable stages. And what's even more exciting about that is we know what happens physically, mentally and emotionally at every one of those stages, and we know what it takes to move from one stage to the next. Why is that good?

Because healing is predictable.

Now, with the shattering of trust, we find ourselves stuck so stuck in Stage three, the most common place to get stuck. Transformation doesn't even happen until Stages four stage five. If you're having trust issues, you are holding yourself back from the transformation that you deserve. The hardest part has happened already, you've been through it, you owe it to yourself to move through the Stages. So, if you have any kind of trust issues, know that there's a really good chance you're deeply rooted in that Stage three.

Now, the good news about that is, we know what it takes to move to Stage four and Stage five, which is exactly what I want to talk to you about, so that you can do that. So, to do that, join me for the Trust Again Challenge which is so loved, so I'm bringing it back.

It's five days it's only about an hour and a half. Give yourself an hour and a half. It's all recorded if it can't catch it live. But here's what's going to happen.

Day one: The who what when where and why trust got shattered in the first place. This is very surprising for a lot of people because they usually look at their most recent experience with trust being shattered, but you may find through the activity that we'll be doing, that it stems back so much further. Because of that, it was never healed and we keep recreating the same thing. The faces have changed, but it's a similar scenario. We'll dive into all of that and you will find out exactly where it started.

Day two: How do you know when it's safe and in your best interest to heal and rebuild with someone? Or how do you know if you’re better off just healing yourself and move on? I'm going to teach you something that is a shocker for a lot of people. If you're one of those people (and I get it, I've been there), where you're trying so hard and you're explaining and it's so obvious to you and it’s not obvious to the other person. You feel like you just want to walk around with a pad and pen capturing aspects of the conversation and saying things like; “You did this, don't you remember?” “Yes, you said that.” “You promised this.” On and on and you feel like a crazy person. You will have such clarity at the end of day two and you will know why you've been banging your head against the wall and getting nowhere. Or, you’ll see if there's really good potential to create something entirely new with the person who shattered the trust. You're going to find that out just by day two.

Day three: Safety checks, boundaries and your BS meter. Your BS meter will be so sharp and so strong. Boundaries are really hard for a lot of people, and I'm going to teach you how to create them safely, carefully and correctly for you.

Day four: You will learn the four step trust rebuilding process. You will see why other efforts to regain trust and repair trust have not worked because of these foundational aspects that were not in place.

Day five: This is a much loved activity. It's a visioning activity where you will see the version of you who trusts, who feels safe, who feels secure, who knows when it's safe in your best interest and in your best interest to trust again. You will see you at your physical, mental, emotional best, your personal and professional best. You will see the version of you who trusts yourself and knows who to trust.

So, these are just a few things people have said about the last Trust Again Challenge.

“I did the Trust Again Challenge before and I was blown away by this, it's really powerful.” -Heather.

“I've been on this journey for a while but this has opened up something very compelling for me. I got to the point where I didn't trust anyone. I spent 60 years, saying, ‘I'm here. Can you help me?’ I realized I couldn't trust myself. Being here is, is huge for me this is so helpful.”- Juliana.

“I never realized my trust issues went back as far as they did. It's been an awakening for me, it's amazing. Thank you so much.” - Anne

Join me for the Trust Again Challenge. It's going to be September 13 through 17th. If you can't make it live, you can access the recordings so you have it when you need it. (If you can, you're going to want to be there live, and when you're there live, you'll know why.)

Register for the Trust Again Challenge and you can find that at ThePBTInstitute.com/trust-challenge .

If you're struggling with trust, there is no reason to stay stuck. You're holding yourself back from the love, from the intimacy, from the connection you so rightfully deserve. I will teach you how to Trust Again, you just need to show up. ThePBTInstitute.com/trust-challenge Learn how to trust again-physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. We're taking it all on within five days, if you do one thing. You want to make sure you register because you will learn how to feel safe, how to trust, who to trust and so much more. I'll see you there. Bye.

Resources Mentioned

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

Trust Again Challenge

View Details

When you have experienced a traumatic event, it’s easy to get stuck in the victim mentality. But your painful past doesn’t mean that you can’t live a fulfilling life. Take Dawn Burnett’s story of trauma and healing, for one.

Dawn grew up in a broken family and is a survivor of sexual abuse. Through functional medicine and a deep understanding of the mind-body connection, she was able to move forward and uncover the happiness that lives within her.

In this episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, she recounts her life’s journey and talks about how you can become the best version of yourself.

About Guest/Topic

Dawn has helped countless people around the world free themselves from relationships, habits, and situations that are no longer serving their higher selves. She is the founder of the #SHEROproject and also a best-selling author, divorce lifestyle consultant, and mindset mentor.

She has featured in numerous publications and media outlets including ABC, TBN, FOX, WKMG, Shape Magazine, and Reader’s Digest.

In This Episode

Who is Dawn Burnett? [0:10]
Discover what holds people back [2:00]
What led Dawn to where she is now? [3:33]
Getting to the core of what’s holding you back [13:51]
…and many more

Quotes

“Well, a big one for starters, that holds people back, is negative mindset, right? And that is a daily practice in combating because it involves limiting beliefs, it involves past experiences; that internal negative chattering dialogue that, if we are not careful, can self-sabotage our future.” [2:02]

“The best way to monitor your thinking is to write it down – to keep a journal. You’d be surprised what your thoughts are when you really start to become aware of them. And then once you have the awareness, you need new information to be able to shift your mindset.” [2:51]

“Ultimately, everything you need is inside of you. It’s like people chase for the outside, for dreams, for happiness, if I just achieve this one level, then, I’ll be happy. Happiness comes from within” [23:18]

“Work on yourself. Connect from within, because when you do and give all that you know, show up on your authentic self, and you put your best foot forward, the universe will meet you where you are at and things will start to flow.” [23:36]

Resources Mentioned

Dawn Burnett's Website

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

Are you afraid to take risks? Do you often doubt your capabilities? If you are, it might be a sign that you’re easily swayed by other people’s opinions.

The people you frequently spend time with have the biggest influence on how you think and behave. This means you should surround yourself with people who inspire you to become your best self and play bigger!

Hi, I am Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi.

Today, we will be discussing how others can hold us back from achieving our dreams, and learn what it takes to regain confidence in ourselves.

In This Episode

Understand the power of the people around you
Discover what’s getting in the way of your success
Find out how you can play bigger

Transcription

Hi there, Dr. Debi here with another Dose of Dr. Debi.

Are you playing small? I'm asking that because I just found that that's exactly what I've been doing. You may be doing it too so I'm going to tell you a story. You may have heard; “We are the five people we spend the most time with.” So, if you are with people who inspire you to play a bigger game, you will be inspired by that. If you are spending time with people coming from lack and scarcity, it will hold you back. Not only will it hold you back, it's going to have you question your ideas and plans if you are even considering doing something.

I'm actually in two different mastermind groups. I’m purposely in those groups because it helps me stretch, and think bigger and grow.

I had this idea, and it seemed so crazy and I'm thinking, I can't even share this with them, they're gonna think I’m nuts.

But think about it. Any great idea at first was considered nuts until it was okay. But I shared this idea to my group, and to me it seemed so huge. Within minutes, I heard: “Wow, did you think about doing this and did you think about adding that and what about this way and that way.” It made me realize how small I've been playing. I only know that because when we're in our own head, or when we're dealing with people who's who are playing smaller, we can really get caught up in this.

I'll never forget a couple of years ago, I was planning a, an event. I was going to do a one day event. And it was terrifying for me I had never done a one day event but in this group I was in, that was part of what we do- you put on a one day event. I'm thinking okay here we go (well, actually they taught us how to do a three day event, and I was playing really small, by just putting on one day event.) It was my first one and I thought, Okay, we're gonna do this one day event, and it's just going to be fabulous. And just fantastic.

So I had speakers that I had booked. I got vendors I got sponsors. I was so excited about this. I got the perfect outfit, I mean this thing was just all about transformation and it was going to be the most incredible day.

So I had gotten together with a group of people, and we're all sitting around a table. You know when you're all sitting around all taking turns with the question: “What's new with you?” “What's new with you?” “What's new with you?” Well it was my turn. And my event was what was new with me. So I'm going on and on and on and on. And then…

Have you ever done that, where you are speaking, and then all of a sudden, you hear how quiet it starts getting? I was busy telling all about this event, and they're kind of looking at me like; “Oh, are you sure you want to do that?” “That's a lot of personal development.” “I mean, asking people to take the day off of work?” “Wow on a Friday and it’s $97? That's a lot for something like that. Are you sure you want to do this?”

This was totally well meaning. They were trying to spare me the embarrassment, the loss of money. So I started getting really scared because I had never done an event, and I know they were looking out for my best interest. I'm thinking, you know, they're right, they're probably right. So, and I'm thinking okay so I still have time to cancel the venue I'll lose my deposit but, okay, and I'll cancel the speakers before they booked their flights, and I'll tell the vendors, we're postponing it or something and I'll cancel them too, and the sponsors and I have it all figured out. Then I left.

I remembered that I am part of this other group so I thought I’d reach out to them and throw it out to them and see what happens (we were in a private Facebook group at the time). I said, you know, it seems just way too big and way too scary, (which means familiar), and you know it's not too late for me to cancel, and how would you go about canceling this?

Within about five minutes, I start hearing; “Only one day? Why isn't it two days you have such amazing content?” “It should at least be $197! That's a lot of value for $97!” Are you sure you don't want to raise it to $197?” “Ugh! It’s in New York? I wish I was in New York, I'd be there in a minute!” Oh, wow.

I looked at the two messages I was receiving. And if I didn't have access to that other group, I would have canceled it in a minute. (Just to close the loop for you on that story. It was an amazing day. It was an incredible experience. And I was so glad I did it.) But if I only had access to the group that was well intentioned, trying to talk me out of it, or looking out for my best interest, I never would have done it and I wouldn't have grown.

So my question to you is:

Who are you spending your time with? Because it will affect every single thing that you do.
Are you playing small? Like I said, I just came back from this event, and I caught myself playing small. I was thinking about this new program I'm designing and this next evolution of my business and I'm thinking, it just sounds so big and so crazy. And it really wasn't at all. It only seemed that way because of what I had been telling myself and what I’d been telling some of the people I had been sharing it with.

So, if you have an idea, and you know when it's an idea that does seem crazy. You feel something. It's like your soul’s on fire and you know that feeling. It doesn't feel like a chore, or an obligation. It feels like a passion, and then you think: I'm crazy, I can never do that. What Am I nuts? Yes, that’s where you need to be a part of a group, or you need to be with like-minded friends that you feel comfortable in sharing something like that with. Because, if you share that to the wrong group, you will cancel, you will think you're crazy, and you just won't do it. But, with the right people, they will help stoke that flame. Before you know it, that one idea that you had in your head will become a reality.

I also have two visuals that I picture if I have a good idea but it just seems too big and too scary or too hard. Two things that get me over them. Okay. The first one is I picture my idea now floating around in a thought bubble. And then I picture someone looking up like: “Wow, that's a good idea!” and snatching it. That was my idea, and now it's somebody else's. And if that one doesn't get me, I picture this. I picture sitting my four kids down (they're older now, but when they were younger this was great), and telling them: “You know that idea I had? It was just too hard. I'm not doing it.” And I imagine my four kids are looking at me like: “It was too hard? Is that all you got mom?” So, if one of them doesn't get me over the hump, usually the other one does.

To wrap this up.

The first thing: If you have a dream, an idea, and inspiration, it's because you're the one who's supposed to be doing it. That's the first thing.

The second thing: Be super careful who you share these things with. The right person or the right people will inspire you to go for it. Other people who just don't get it, don't understand, (and they could be totally well intentioned, trying to spare you the embarrassment, the humiliation, the money, whatever it is), they'll have you second guessing yourself in a minute.

The third thing: Play a bigger game. Here's where you find that like-minded friend, that group, and that's certainly what we do within The PBT Institute, it is a group like no other.

So of course if you're struggling to heal from betrayal and the devastation of a family member, a partner, a friend, a coworker, self, that's where you need to be. But I just really wanted to give you this little reminder, if you're not playing big enough. It's time.

So, if you are struggling with betrayal a few things I'd love to suggest to you. Of course, the first one is Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness. Click here for the book and bonuses. I also have another book coming out very, very soon. And it's really exciting. Not ready to share it just yet because I want to make sure a couple of pieces are in place before I do, but all good stuff.

So play a bigger game that's what you're here for. Don't let anybody talk you out of your vision or your dream, and thank you so much. Come back next time, I have a few more little nuggets I want to share in the next few weeks with future Doses of Dr. Debi. Bye.

Resources Mentioned

PBT PodcastsPost Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness
Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

The suicide of a loved one can leave people mired in feelings of abandonment, betrayal, anger, and intense sadness. Those they have left behind usually feel confused and even guilty. They may wonder if they are to blame or if they could have done more to prevent it. If you are dealing with this, Jason Holzer knows how you feel.

Jason has grappled with his grief and uncertainty over his father’s suicide. In this episode, he shares how he was able to move forward, by not only forgiving his father but also himself. He also delves into how rewiring your thoughts and cultivating a positive mindset can help you achieve post-traumatic growth.

About Guest/Topic Jason Holzer was raised in a loving family in Taos, Missouri. His parents were supportive of him and his two younger sisters, providing them with everything they needed. But at age 17, his father committed suicide, drastically changing Jason’s life.

Although dealing with such a devastating loss was difficult, Jason was able to rise above his pain. His hard work, dedication, and strong faith helped him regain his footing--and even go beyond where he used to be. Today, he is a certified teacher, an accomplished basketball coach, a best-selling author, and a transformational speaker.

In This Episode * Who is Jason Holzer? [0:07] * What is post-traumatic growth? [1:40] * Learn about Jason’s traumatic experience [2:30] * How did Jason heal from his trauma? [7:01] * The role of spirituality and forgiveness in Jason’s growth [10:55] * Discover Jason’s initiatives for suicide prevention [15:55] * …and many more

Quotes “A lot of people see forgiveness as what you do for the other person but the reality of it is, forgiveness is what you do for yourself.” [14:06]

“You allow yourself to feel the emotion of, maybe there’s a little bit of resentment, anger, but then you let it go. It’s like clouds passing through the sky.” [14:39]

“Life is gonna happen. It’s just your perception of what this situation means.” [19:26]

“Give life a chance to get better. It’s gonna get tough like you’re gonna through some hard things eventually but having that positive optimism like you know, what? I’m sad today, or you know what? I’m going through some things right now, but I know there’s gonna be some positive that’s gonna come out of this if I choose to have the right mindset going into this.” [21:18]

Resources Mentioned Jason Holzer's LinkedIn

Jason Holzer's Twitter

Jason Holzer's IG

Jason Holzer's Facebook

4D Athletes Website

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

People want to be a great source of inspiration to others. When other people try to emulate our positive actions, we feel admired and fulfilled.

But how many times in our lives have we failed to set a good example? What can we do when we’re not showing up the way we want to?

I am Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi.

Today, we will be discussing the importance of checking in on yourself and learning how you can set a better example for your loved ones and the people around you.

In This Episode * Discover how I caught myself setting a bad example * Learn from my mistake so you can do things differently * Examine areas in your life where you can set a better example

Transcription

Hi there, Dr. Debi here, and today I want to talk about setting a good example. And I'm saying it because I caught myself not setting a good example. Whether you have kids, a team, anyone that you're trying to set an example for, I'm going to share what happened with me, so you can prevent something like this from happening to you.

So, this is my 30th year in business and I'm always trying to learn and grow, so I can share what I learned with members within The PBT Institute. I'm usually going to at least one mastermind group a year. One, maybe two, because learning from the most brilliant experts and collaborating with amazing people, it helps me learn and grow and really up my game. I see what they're doing and inspires me to do more.

There was one of my groups, and I was thinking about it and I said; you know, I didn't really participate so I really didn't get much out of it. I'm not going to sign up with them again. And then it hit me and I said, Oh my gosh, if that's what I'm doing. That's probably what members within the PBT institute will do. They didn't get involved, so they didn't get the value, so they're going to leave!

So, what did I do with that? The first thing I did was message my coach, and said, I know we had last weekend to jump in and sign again, for the new year. I totally messed up, I'm in, and this time if I come back in, if you let me in (because it was all these wonderful bonuses and things for resigning). If you let me back in, I'm diving in headfirst.

My own intensity shocked me but I really linked committing- diving in headfirst, to what our members in the community will do. And so I heard back, and I'm in.

Again, I'm going to be in two masterminds this year but here’s the difference. This time I took the yearly schedule of all of the classes and coaching calls and everything, and I put them in my calendar, my written calendar, I put them in my online calendar and I prioritized them. What we prioritize, we get done. I don't know about you, but there were times before my own workouts were a habit, I would actually have to write them in as an appointment. I thought that was so crazy, but I realized, I respect any other appointment that I have, but for some reason my own stuff, I don't prioritize, so if we don't prioritize it doesn't happen, and I wrote it in as an appointment.

I also found that I have to write it in, let's say, earlier in the day because I wasn't prioritizing it my own self care enough that I just needed it foolproof. And I realized that if I schedule it later in the day, if there are other things that need to happen, it gets knocked off the list. So if I do it early enough, we can protect that time, ensure we get it in, even if it's a few minutes. Whatever it is, that time for yourself, whether it's for a morning self-care routine or a way that you connect, journal, meditate, whatever it is for you.

But what really struck me was that we can talk a big game. I have four kids, 25,24, 21 and 19. And as they were growing up, I remember always saying, they're going to listen when I speak, but they're going to really understand if they watch me do it, and it kept me on my game, for the most part, when they were growing up. But this was just something where I caught myself, and I didn't like how I behaved and how I reacted so I immediately caught it.

Here's the good news. You have an opportunity, all the time, to check in on yourself and see how you're showing up and see what you're doing. And if you don't like something, if you could do something better, differently, whatever. It's not that you're never supposed to be happy with yourself, but it's always good to just take a look and say, Could I do something a little bit better, could I do something a little bit differently? And that's how you grow. That's how you constantly reinvent yourself, improve on what wasn't working for you before.

But, I didn't like that. I felt like I bailed on myself, because it's an amazing group. I didn't give myself, what I could have given myself from the experience. How often has that happened to you where you invest in something and you don't play full out, you don't give it 100%? I do this sometimes even with books. I want to read a book, and then I'll listen really quickly, or an online program and I just want to get through it. But did I really devour it the way I could have or should have to get the most out of it. It was a real wake up call, just to call myself on myself and just say; You know what, I don't like how I just showed up right there. And then, I did something about it.

So here's what I would recommend you do. Take a look at where you may have bailed and maybe where you didn't set an example you wanted to. If you do have kids. Is there something you are doing that if your child were to do, you wouldn't like it? Well, there you go. Mom or Dad, what's the best way to teach, do it.

Is there a team or group that you're a part of? And you’re in a work scenario or where you're contributing in some way or something that you're doing throughout your day, where you're not showing up the way you want to? And, if you put the time, effort, in a little bit differently, (not more but differently), you could have a much different result? I invite you to take a look. Because, certainly I caught myself doing that, and I did not like what I found.

So, when we take on these new commitments and obligations, does it take a little reworking of our schedule? Of course, I mean now I'm committed to all of these extra coaching calls where it's like; Where's that time going to come from that in my day? But, I know I'm going to learn so much. I know I'm going to meet the most amazing like-minded people that I want to collaborate with. People I want to get to know who will inspire me to do different things, better thing, bolder things. So, I hope this inspires you to take a look at what you've been doing, how you've been acting, how you've been showing up and see that, maybe there's a way you can tweak what you're doing so you set a better example.

Now, if you're absolutely perfect, well then I just hope you learned something from my mistake J . You get what I'm saying. I hope you just take a look at what you've been doing, how you've been showing up and see if you could just up it just a little bit.

I want to thank you so much for this Dose of Dr Debi it's certainly what I learned this week about myself and check in for so much more. Coming at you every week with the From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast and these little short doses of little nuggets that I've learned about members within our community or myself.

Subscribe, rate and review if you're enjoying the podcast, please tell your friends. And if we can support you within The PBT Institute, Oh my gosh there's really no place like it. We have live daily classes with certified coaches- we have one practitioner who's been a therapist for 37 years. We have, coaches and practitioners who specialize in trauma, chronic pain, in addiction, in reconciliation, in narcissism, in divorce. We are bringing together the most brilliant experts to teach you every single day. Our lowest level membership is $97 a month, so if you want to, you can go to, I think we have something like 15 to 20 live classes at this point in time, live classes a week.

So now think about it. One session with let's say a therapist who isn't highly skilled in betrayal does way more harm than good. You can go to these live classes, asking coaches questions, asking practitioners questions we have the most amazing community. I'm in there every week doing Q&A We have master classes I'm bringing in incredible thought leaders. Oh, and we have our signature programs that literally walk you through the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough. So, even one month, $97 a month is amazing. Now, healing is now truly a choice, there is no reason to stay stuck, we have the tools, we have the support, we have the research.

This is research based. We know what it takes to heal and we have everything within the community for you so if that resonates and if it's something that you just want to give a try. You could do it month by month. That's fine I get it, you may have some trust issues. I understand. So we do it that way, and you could just find everything you need. To research some more just go to: https://thepbtinstitute.com/join/ . And, and if you just want to learn how to trust again move through the stages on your own, you want to try out a chapter of my book Trust Again, you could find that here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/freegift/ .

Thank you so much and I'll see you next time. Bye.

Resources Mentioned

PBT PodcastsPost Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness
Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

Many people who have been in codependent relationships tend to downplay their anger and find it incredibly hard to say no to others. But according to Michelle Farris, people-pleasing can be detrimental, and addressing your anger in a healthy way can help you improve your relationships and avoid resentment.

In this insightful episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Michelle discusses how people can fall into the trap of neglecting themselves for the sake of others and how recovering from codependency begins with staying true to your feelings.

About Guest/Topic Michelle Farris is a licensed psychotherapist and anger management specialist living in San Jose, California. She has been featured in several publications, including Psych Central, The Daily Positive, Your Tango, and Bustle.

She teaches people how to create positive relationships and heal from codependency with simple tools to improve self-esteem. She has also written e-books and online courses to support growth and learning.

In This Episode * Who is Michelle Farris? [0:10] * What is codependency? [1:38] * What are some examples of codependency? [2:23] * How do you deal with codependency? [3:55] * What is healthy anger? [7:58] * What is the difference between anger and resentment? [10:17] * …and many more

Quotes “Embracing our anger in codependency recovery is so key because it’s that point where you finally say, you know what? Ouch! This hurts and I actually need to say something, versus no I’m gonna suck it up. I’m gonna be a people-pleaser because you know, what? It is safer that way, nobody’s gonna be mad.” [08:56]

“If you stick with the facts and the feeling, and it isn’t about judgment, it’s gonna go down better…You can’t say, you always or you never because the other person’s not gonna deal with that. They’re gonna get defensive.” [15:28]

“Recovery is messy. You know, recovery is not a process where okay, you go in, you do work for several months or even several years and then feel like everything’s perfect. You know, you’re gonna struggle on occasion and that’s part of recovery. And I think sometimes people beat themselves up like oh, I shouldn’t still have this resentment. Well, you know what? You do and it’s okay, It’s part of the process.” [19:42]

“The people who love us want us to take care of ourselves because they know that we’re gonna be easier to be in a relationship with. We’re gonna be happier. And sometimes, using that external motivation of, you know, your family really wants this for you, can help the codependent cause they’re like oh, they’re not gonna be mad? No, most likely, they’re not. You know, they want you to be less overwhelmed.” [23:14]

“You can totally heal from codependency. And don’t be afraid of the anger and resentment because I guarantee that is gonna deepen your healing because there’s a reason why you feel resentment or there’s a reason you feel angry.” [24:09]

Resources Mentioned

Michelle Farris' Website

Michelle Farris' LinkedIn

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

When dealing with betrayal, many people spend so much time researching their situation to try and move forward with their lives. While it is important to be proactive in taking steps towards healing, all the studying becomes counterproductive when people get stuck reading instead of doing.

My name is Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi.

Today, I will be discussing how trying to understand your painful experiences can sometimes do more harm than good. I will also share some valuable tips on what you can do when this happens, so you can keep progressing on your healing journey.

In This Episode * Identify if you’ve gotten stuck in learning mode * Learn about the common reasons why this happens * Find out how to move forward on your healing journey

Transcription

Hi, there! It's Dr. Debi here and welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi. This is something I caught a few members within The PBT Institute doing and I want to bring it up because I have a feeling, it may be something that you were doing too.

There comes a time in the beginning, when you're healing from your experience, your painful experience where you're doing all the researching and you're learning and you're understanding. You and you may realize; “Wow, I didn't realize that person was a narcissist” “I didn't realize there was even such a thing as gaslighting.” “I didn't know that I have PTSD symptoms,” whatever it is. So you do your research and you're doing all your studying and all your learning.

And then there comes a time where all of that doing it's very action oriented and we start feeling really good because we're taking action. But, the action we're taking is actually preventing us from taking the measures towards doing something very different that would bring us a very different result. We figure, “Well I'm really busy doing this and it's really good. I'm learning.” But, once we've learned, we have to take what we've learned and implement it.

I saw it so many times just yesterday where so many of our members (and I meet with some of them one on one, we also have our open Q&A, we call them coffee chats), and it just kept coming up so I'm sensing a theme here and maybe it's something you're doing as well. And I really just kept seeing it where, yes, they were taking action and action is really important, it's something we need to do, it's moving us forward. But be careful when you spend so much time in the action of understanding. And when it's sort of like a little bit of a subconscious way to prevent you from taking the action needed to create that change. Think about it, it's one thing to learn everything, like let's say you learn; “Holy moly I was guest lit, and this person is a covert narcissist, and I do have trauma that is from childhood” whatever it is and you realize. You’ve learned all of this. It’s totally within your realm of understanding right now.

Then think about it. Now that you know, there's no unknowing. You know this now. It’s like you can't un-ring a bell. But now if you implement it, think about it. Now you take action. Let's say you let that person know, or you take drastic action, or you do something very different. It's going to cause a bit of a shakeup. So what we tend to do is we stay in that “learning mode,” and just keep learning and learning. It’s like; “Wow I really didn't understand this about myself. I really didn't know this about myself. I didn't know I reacted this way. I didn't know that's what that person was really doing,” etc. It's all well and good until it prevents you from doing something about it.

When we move through The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough (it's what we teach within The PBT Institute), it's what I talk about in Trust Again (I walk you through The Five Stages). When we're in Stage Three, (Survival Instincts Emerge), which is the most practical of all of the Stages, we are figuring out how to survive our experience. Because it feels so much better than the shock and trauma of where we just came from, we think it's good. And because we don't know, there's a Stage Four and Stage Five (where transformation begins), we think this is it so we better figure out a way to be okay with it.

So here's where we're taking all this action to figure out a way to survive our experience; “Where do I go?” “Who can I trust?” “How do I how do I deal with this,” “How do I feed my kids?” It's very practical. We start taking actions and understand, this is still really good. But it's still going to keep us stuck in that Stage Three. When we're ready to move from that place of survival to finding and adjusting to a new normal (which is Stage Four), it's still very action oriented, but the action is moving us forward. It’s actions toward our own self-care, increasing our confidence, improving our health, all of these forward moving actions.

So I just wanted to make sure you knew that it's wonderful. It's wonderful that you're taking the time to understand your situation, it’s a very important aspect of healing. A lot of people don't even do that, so that's huge. And, and I commend you for it. But what I caution you about is spending too much time in the researching and the understanding where it's preventing you from taking action towards change.

I get it, that change is going to cause a shake up to you to those around you. So, we figure; “Okay, let me just learn a little bit more, let me just study a little bit more, let me just understand a little bit more.” And we do that sometimes, to actually prevent us because of that fear. We're doing it to prevent us from making those big bold moves. So if that's what you're doing, I just want you to understand it because you want to take that understanding, and then you want to apply it. Of course, it's going to be scary, but here's what here's how I would rather you look at it.

It's not that it's scary, it's unfamiliar. Like anything else that you didn't do and then you did. Every single thing you’re doing now, was unfamiliar at one point. Until you did it, and then it became familiar. So why don't you look at this as possibly something unfamiliar, instead of just looking at it as scary. So take that understanding, take all that knowledge, that learning, and apply it. Now, of course, this is hard. This is not easy stuff. This is probably the hardest work you'll ever do. That's what The PBT Institute is for, so we can help you with that, then reach out.

I'll put links in the show notes, but it’s The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com/join/ join us there. You'll learn all about it. I made it a no brainer to join it's only $97 each month. $3 a day and that’s for live daily classes with our certified coaches, (they’re all certified in moving you through The Five Stages. Not only that, they're coming in with 10, 20, 30 plus years in cognitive behavioral therapy, in trauma, in reconciliation, in narcissism, in addiction, in self-love, etc. We have coaches who specialize in everything, and you can see them privately if you want to, you can do that. We have our signature programs which walk you through The Five Stages. There's just so much going on in there. Also, we have the right type of support because the wrong type of support does more harm than good.

Don't stay stuck, we have the proof around what it takes to heal. We know what it takes to heal. Staying stuck is a choice. It really is. So, you've been through the hardest part already you deserve to heal. So join us there if that serves you. https://thepbtinstitute.com/join/ .If Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness is a fit for you, you can just get a free chapter and see if you like it. I hope you do, and you can find that here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/freegift/ . So you'll get a chapter and just see if you like it and I hope you do. We have The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough in there, I have the four step trust rebuilding process too. It's everything we teach within The PBT Institute, but if you'd rather just do that first, that's good too. Either way, don't stay stuck. So, get your understanding that you need to get, so that you can apply it and become the whole heal, confident, healed confident, healthy version of you, that you're meant to be.

Thank you so much and I'll see you next time. Bye bye.

Resources Mentioned

PBT PodcastsPost Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness
Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

Did you know that confronting your past can help you get your health back on track? Just ask Debbie Emick, who is living proof of this.

Faced with autoimmune diseases, she tried everything she knew to regain her health, like taking medication, developing healthy eating and exercise habits, and even reducing her stress levels. Despite these attempts, her health continued to deteriorate, leaving her frustrated and depressed. Eventually, she discovered her greatest source of self-healing, which was overcoming her people-pleasing and perfectionist tendencies.

In today’s episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Debbie Emick shares with us how unresolved childhood trauma can sneak up on us and wreak havoc on our health, and what she went through to achieve self-healing.

About Guest/Topic Debbie Emick is a co-creator and blogger at gobucketyourself.com. She is also the co-host of the One Life Live It podcast.

While suffering from multiple autoimmune diseases, Debbie discovered the mind-body connection to healing, and the importance of confronting repressed emotions and past trauma. Today, she enjoys a healthier and more fulfilling life.

She lives on the plains of southeastern Colorado with her husband, two daughters, a dog, and six chickens. When she's not traveling to the mountains, the beach, or Hispanic countries, you'll find her at home in her sunroom, or on her back porch sipping hot tea.

In This Episode * Who is Debbie Emick? [0:11] * What is her story? [1:30] * What were some of the physical symptoms that she experienced during her childhood? [9:42] * What attempts did she do to manage her childhood trauma at that time? [11:22] * What are some somatic practices and activities that helped Debbie? [19:36] * …and many more

Quotes “When I was able to actually process and release some emotional trauma, some repressed emotions, physical pain also began to leave my body.” [04:41]

“The more emotional work I did, the more worthiness I could find in myself, and then I could use food in a loving way and I could use exercise in a loving way, not like a punishing way or a controlling way. And so, I started to let go of that perfectionism and be more vulnerable and open and really see who I really was. [14:05]

“When we hold our emotions or our trauma, we’re doing something to our nervous system that we can’t see, right? But it’s a physical, chemical, hormonal response that overtime is creating this chronic condition in our body, whatever it is, and it’s directly tied to lung disease, to heart disease, both of which I had.” [28:15]

“This is my life and I get to decide to live it, and I get to decide to be vulnerable and authentic in myself and not keep secrets or hide things anymore.” [28:44]

“Avoiding, numbing, distracting may work for a while, but it always catches up to us.” [32:48]

Resources Mentioned

Debbie Emick's Website

Debbie Emick Instagram

Healthy Living Simple Instagram

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

Betrayal can leave a psychological wound that just never seems to get better. For many of us, it’s a constant struggle to cope with the emotional pain and trauma.

But how do you know if you’re merely surviving and not healing? What can you do if you’re stuck trying to figure out the next move?

I’m Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi.

Today, we’ll be discussing the third of the Five Stages to get from Betrayal to Breakthrough, which is the stage that many people tend to linger in and fail to move on from. This survival stage is necessary in breaking out of the shock and trauma of the second stage, but it isn't a place that you want to stick around in for too long.

We'll talk about what happens when you're in it, why you could be stuck, and what you can do to lift yourself up and progress to the next stage.

In This Episode * Identify if you’ve gotten stuck in survival mode * Discover the common reasons why people are unable to move on * Find out how to move forward in your healing journey

Transcription

Hi there, Dr. Debi here. Welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi. Are you stuck? I'm asking that because I've been on podcasts every single day, Monday through Friday, and I've been going over The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough, and when I talk about Stage Three, which is survival, survival instincts emerge. I start talking about it and the host says; “Oh my gosh, (if they're a coach) that's where all my clients are!” Or; “Oh my gosh I remember exactly when I was in that stage and I stayed there for a very long time.”

It's the most common place to get stuck in. And if we're not careful, we could stay stuck in that stage for life so I want to share what it is. This way, if you're there (also there are four reasons why we tend to stay in that one place) and when you know you can see if that's exactly what you're doing and of course what you can do about it.

So, when it we talk about The Five Stages and I won't go through them here, we talk about them in Trust Again and that's what we teach within The PBT Institute. Stage Two is the shock and trauma, and you ignite the stress response so you’re headed for every single stress related symptom, illness, condition and disease. Your mind is in a complete state of chaos and overwhelm-you cannot wrap your mind around the information you just learned this makes no sense to you. Your worldview is shattered- that's your mental model. It's your rules of your world, it's what prevents chaos. So the bottom has truly bottomed out on you in Stage Two, it's terrifying. It's the scariest of all of the stages.

Think about it though, if the bottom were to bottom out on you, what would you do? You’d grab hold of anything and everything you could to stay safe and stay alive. That’s Stage Three, survival instincts emerge. It's the most practical of all of the stages; “If you can't help me get out of my way.” “How do I survive this experience?” “Who can I trust?” “Where do I go?” “How do I feed my kids?” It's that practical. Here's the trap.

Once you figured out how to survive, because it feels so much better than the shock and the trauma of where you just came from, you think it's good. You're like; “Okay, alright, we got this.” And, on some level, it is good because it's so much better than the shock and trauma of where you just came from. Yes it’s better, but that doesn't mean it's good. Transformation doesn't even happen until Stages Four and Five. But a few things happen in Stage Three. Because we feel like we're kind of on solid ground a little bit again, few things start happening. The first is we start getting all of these “small self” benefits.

We get to be right
We get our story
We get someone to blame
We get a target for our anger
We get sympathy from everybody we tell our story to
We don't have to do the hard work of learning to trust again; “Should I trust you?” “Can I trust you?” “Forget it. I'm just not trusting anybody.”

So we start planting some deeper roots there. Then the next thing that happens. Because you're here and you're not supposed to stay for a long time but you are, now your mind starts doing things like; “Well, maybe you're not all that great.” “Maybe you deserved it” Maybe this, maybe that, and you start planting some deeper roots. Then, because “like energy attracts like energy,” now you're calling situations and circumstances and even relationships towards you to confirm that this is exactly where you belong. Then there's that whole “misery loves company” club so you're part of that too. Then because you're here longer than you need to be, this happens next.

Because you don't like it, but you don't know there's anything better, right here is where you resign yourself. You're like; “I guess I have to find a way to make this work. It's terrible. I'm not happy, but I don't know there's anything better.” So right here is where you start using food, and drugs and alcohol and work and TV and keeping busy and anything you can do to numb/avoid/distract yourself from what's really painful to feel her face.

So think about it. You do this for a day, a week, a month and now it's a habit. Five years, 10 years, 20 years and more. I can see someone 20 years out and say; “That emotional eating you're doing or that drinking you're doing or that nothing in front of the TV you're doing. Do you think that has anything to do with your betrayal?’ They’d look at me like I'm crazy, and they would say; “Oh my gosh that happened 20 years ago!” It doesn't matter, they got stuck in that Stage Three.

Stage Three is very action oriented. You’re figuring out how to survive your experience, it’s all about the thinking and the doing and we get in that mode of thinking and doing. It’s very head based not heart based. The feeling and being is the heart, the thinking and doing is the head. It's like we turn down the feeling and being, and we ramp up the thinking and the doing. It's almost like we cut ourselves off from the neck down. We're just in that place of thinking and doing; not paying attention to how we feel, not connecting. We’re in this action oriented mode. And because we've cut ourselves off like this, it doesn't feel good, it doesn't feel safe. It doesn't feel rewarding. It just kind of is.

So the reason why I really wanted to talk about this today is, there's a really good chance that you or someone you know is stuck in Stage Three. There's so much waiting for you when you let go of those “small self” benefits. When you say; “Okay well, I have my story, but if I let my story go I can have a way better story, and I can be the hero or the heroine of my story.” When you stop hanging on to your story, you can physically heal, you can boost your immune system, stop that accelerated aging, I mean it's incredible what happens when you let when you let that stuff go. Opportunities show up. It's like a 500 pound boulder of pain, and you put that down, you see things that are available to you now that you never would have had access to, because you were blocking that view. Your arms were busy carrying this heavy burden.

What I would recommend is take a look and ask yourself; “Am I stuck?” Because, if you're stuck, first of all, you're not alone and you're not crazy. You were doing the best you knew how to do based on where you are. But there's so much waiting for you. When you decide that; “You know what? Yes I'm receiving those ‘small self’ benefits,” but I promise you, when you give those up for real benefits, a version of you shows up in the process that will blow your mind.

So of course, if we can help you with that, be sure to check out The PBT Institute because that's what we do in there. We have different levels of membership based on your needs, your budget, but there truly is nothing like it. I mean we have certified coaches and practitioners who each specialize in their own topic. Topics like chronic pain, addiction, we have coaches who specialize in narcissism, in reconciliation in self-betrayal. It's endless. I mean we have just the most incredible coaches and they teach live daily classes. The way it works is for one month, within the community, it's less expensive than one session with a therapist. And we have therapists. One of our practitioners has been a therapist for 37 years, his specialty is cognitive behavioral therapy.

It's just incredible what goes on in there. It’s not just the live daily classes either. We have our programs, which you have 24/7access to which will literally walk you through The Five Stages of Betrayal to Breakthrough. I'm in there doing open Q&A every week (we call them Coffee Chats). Everything is recorded by the way if you can't catch it live. We have master classes where we bring in the most incredible experts, and it's the right type of community, you know it's not the “Ain’t awful club” where someone's like; “Well, this (really bad thing) happened to me” and then someone chimes in with; “Oh, you think that's bad? This (worse thing) is what happened to me!” No, it's all about lifting and inspiring. It's people moving forward and then our members see that from other members they’re like; “Wow! You sound different than you sounded just a week ago!” Or, “Wow those boundaries that you were just talking about you didn't have that a couple weeks ago. How did you do that?”

So it's all about lifting and inspiring. We're like the training wheels until you just don't need them anymore. You're not meant to be there for a long time, you're just meant to be there to get your job done. So you can love again, trust again, feel safe again. If that can support you, go to The PBT Institute/join.

We have the proof, staying stuck is now a choice. Do not stay stuck. The hardest part is over, you owe it to yourself to heal. So thanks so much for listening and I'll see you next time.

Resources Mentioned

PBT PodcastsPost Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness
Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

The trauma caused by betrayal is perhaps one of the most painful things that a person can live with. If you are struggling with letting go of hurt, anxiety, or stress, let Hale Dwoskin help you out.

Over four decades ago, Hale discovered the Sedona Method®, a simple, powerful, and easy-to-learn technique that helped him let go of unwanted emotions. This powerful tool led him to achieve inner peace, lightness, and contentment, and it enabled him to succeed in various facets of his life. Since then, he has been on a mission to help others learn the Sedona Method® so they can also improve their lives.

In this episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Hale talks about inner resistance and how the Sedona Method® can help people move forward and uncover the happiness that is within them.

About Guest/Topic Hale Dwoskin has dedicated more than 40 years to teaching and sharing the Sedona Method, which helps people alleviate their suffering and discover the truth of who they really are.

Hale is the author of the New York Times best-seller The Sedona Method and is one of the featured teachers in the book and movie phenomenon The Secret. He was also mentioned in the book The Greatest Secret and the movie Letting Go.

Hale is the Director of Training, Chief Teacher, and Spokesperson of Sedona Training Associates, an organization created to promote the emotional releasing techniques inspired by his friend, mentor, and teacher, Lester Levenson. He also co-authored Happiness is Free and it’s Easier Than You Think with Levenson and is a founding member of the Transformational Leadership Council.

In This Episode * Who is Hale Dwoskin? [0:10] * What is the Sedona Method®? [2:14] * How can the Sedona Method® help people let go of the pain caused by betrayal? [3:16] * Real-life examples of the results of the Sedona Method® [6:29] * How do you practice the Sedona Method®? [11:43] * …and many more

Quotes “The reason I know this simple way of letting go is so powerful is I’ve been doing it myself since 1976 and I’ve been helping people with it since 1976. And hundreds of thousands of people do this all over the world and what they find is that when they’re open to letting go, they’re not letting the other person off the hook, they’re letting themselves off the hook.” [4:19]

“When you put your excess baggage down, then your life lightens, your heart opens, your body relaxes, and you see life with a lot more clarity, insight, and understanding, and you don’t feel the victim anymore. You can start to take control of your life in a very organic, natural, integrated way.” [5:50]

“Universally, what happens to people as they let go is they become more comfortable in their own skin, they feel more at ease even in situations that used to be tense, they feel more able to handle life’s challenges, and they generally see improvements in the level of amount of money they have in the bank. Believe it or not, when you feel less stressed and more peaceful and more happy [sic], it affects your level of abundance.” [7:32]

“What we’ve discovered is that when people let go, their bodies start to correct themselves—even from the small to the extreme. When you take out the stress and the tension and the anxiety and the feelings you have about whatever is going on physically, then you naturally gravitate towards things that actually help.” [10:02]

“Feelings are just feelings. They’re not facts and they’re not you and you can let them go. And also, you—at your core—are already whole, already complete, already enough as you are. And you can discover that for yourself by just being open to what’s really natural and true for yourself and letting go as best you can.” [27:10]

Resources Mentioned

The Sedona Method® Website

The Sedona Method® Facebook

The Sedona Method® YouTube

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

View Details

Unhealed betrayal can affect you physically, mentally, and emotionally, taking a toll on your daily life and even manifesting itself in your business.

So, how do you know if your emotional baggage is impacting your work? Are there tell-tale signs you must watch out for?

I am Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi.

Today, I’ll be discussing how unhealed betrayal can sabotage you and prevent you from reaching your goals. You will also learn how to identify the barriers to your success so you can overcome them.

In This Episode * Discover the 7 ways unhealed betrayal can impact your business * Learn the first step needed to make a change in your life and heal from betrayal * Find out how stress is affecting you

Transcription

Hi there, Dr. Debi here with another Dose of Dr. Debi. So, you know I always talk about betrayal and how it impacts us physically, mentally and emotionally and it affects our, our health, our work, or relationships? So today I want to talk about seven ways in which unhealed betrayal is impacting your business. It's common to think that a betrayal of a family member, partner, friend, or coworker impacts us personally. Here are seven ways in which unhealed betrayal is impacting your business.

1: Confidence. Think about it, a betrayal shatters our confidence, one minute we can feel safe and secure then a painful discovery of betrayal can shatter that sense of safety in an instant. Think about how that impacts your business if confidence is shattered. How comfortable are you asking for the sale, asking for the raise, introducing yourself at a networking event, or making a call to someone you're hoping to collaborate with? Confidence is crucial in business and without it, it's really, really challenging to convey your message in a way that you want it to come across.

2: An unhealed betrayal dramatically impacts your health and level of energy. Once the stress response is ignited from this type of pain, you're headed for just about every single stress-related symptom, illness, condition, disease. Some of the most common symptoms left in the wake of a betrayal are digestive issues, and by that, I mean anything from Crohn’s, IBS, colitis, constipation, diarrhea, you name it. Extreme exhaustion, brain fog, mental confusion, insomnia, anxiety, sadness, anger and depression too. That's just to name a few. So, managing these symptoms while managing your business, in addition to any other responsibilities you may have like raising your kids running your household, taking care of elderly parents, can make running a thriving business, near impossible.

3: Body. One of the most common physical symptoms of an unhealed betrayal is weight. As of now, we've had about 25,000 people take the Post Betrayal Syndrome quiz to see to what extent they're struggling, and 47% of them have weight changes. In the very beginning, maybe they can't hold food down. Later on, they may be using food for comfort. So, while immediately after that painful discovery, it may be really impossible to hold food down, after that you're using food as the way to soothe, calm, numb, relax. It's a way to self-medicate from the pain that the betrayal can cause. The stress alone can drive fat storage, particularly around your midsection. So, think about doing videos, speaking, networking, or any other aspect of your business that requires you to be seen. Not feeling comfortable in your own skin, means you're not putting yourself out there the way you need to, and it's affecting the amount of people who know about you and what you do.

4: Self-esteem. A betrayal shatters our self-esteem, along with our sense of worthiness. Because betrayal feels so intentional, we take it so personally. So, this direct hit, has us questioning, our very worth. So, imagine how that impacts your business. If you don't feel a profound sense of worthiness, it shows in the way you speak and communicate who and what you do. And if you don't believe in yourself, how can anyone else? the direct. This directly impacts how many people are convinced that you are the one that can help them in the very specific way they need. Without your own conviction, how can anyone else feel convinced that you can help them?

5: Ability to trust another person is a big one. One of the most profound implications of a betrayal is the shattering of trust. After we've been betrayed, we don't trust in others and we hardly trust ourselves. We question ourselves asking: “How do we not know this?” “How can I be so blind?” “How did I not see this coming?” So, think about it, when we don't trust ourselves, we don't trust in our decisions, and we don't trust in our own judgment. This makes it challenging to know if we're making healthy or unhealthy business decisions. We also lose our trust in others, so we're afraid to be a team player, do joint venture or collaborative projects and we question: “If the person I trusted the most proved untrustworthy, how can I trust that boss/collaborative partner/JV partner If I don't know them nearly as well?”

6: Beliefs. Your belief system is formed by the repetition of something someone said enough times that eventually, it became your belief. It doesn't make it right, it doesn't make it true. It doesn't make it anything, but yours. It makes it your belief. If you've been betrayed, this breaking of the spoken or unspoken message often leaves us with the belief that we're not valued, not enough, not capable enough, lovable enough, just plain enough. And, we have between 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts a day, with about 80% of those thoughts being negative. Imagine how a negative belief system is affecting you. From the thoughts you think to the actions you take, if your belief system has you feeling you're unworthy undeserving or lacking in some way, how is that impacting the way you speak with prospects or the way you're getting your message out to others? You see how this all works?

7: Finances. When you add up all of the ways that an unhealed betrayal impacts you physically, mentally and emotionally, it's so easy to see how it's going to affect just about every area of life. It impacts your performance, your ability to convey your message with conviction and confidence, the energy you have to convey that message, and ultimately, your finances. I mean sure, it may drive you to that whole “I'll show them” kind of emotion as you dive into your work in order to create financial abundance. But when that soil, that desire it’s birthed from is negative, that satisfaction from it is short-lived. You'll hear me say this over and over and over again.

Awareness is the first step towards making changes, and the gift in a traumatic experience, (yes I said gift) is that transformation-you becoming a healthy, healed, whole and complete upgraded version of you is waiting on the other side of your trauma. That version never would have emerged had it not be from the experience. So, with going through something painful, the worst of it happened already. You owe it to yourself to heal. You want to fuel it with a healthy desire to fully heal. And when you do, watch your body, your mind and your business transform.

It's a really good opportunity to take a look at your business, or how you're showing up at work, and see how your betrayal is impacting you. Here's the thing, it could have happened decades ago, but take a look and ask, is it showing itself in my confidence, is it showing itself in my health, is it showing itself in the way I put myself out there? It likely is showing itself in some way, even if it's in those stress-related symptoms, illnesses, conditions, even disease.

I remember working with a woman who was very stressed. She was coming to me for weight loss, and everybody was losing a kind of predictable amount of weight each week. Well, she wasn't. And then she said; “You know, I'm really going through a hard time, I need to take a break” which was totally fine. She came back a month later when the stress was down, and she said; “You know, the weirdest thing was, I didn't change anything about my eating and I lost seven pounds this month!” I'll never forget that and what it really showed was when your body feels that need to hang on to that weight, if it's holding on to it to protect you in some way, or if you just have cortisol just raging through your system, and it's driving fat storage to your middle, it’s going to keep weight on.

So much of the reason why the weight stays there has to do with the thoughts we think, the stress we're under. So take a look at all of it, and see how is your stress is impacting you. How is your unhealed betrayal impacting you, and how is it showing up in your business?

If you liked this episode, be sure to subscribe, rate and review and if Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness would be something that you're interested in, you can get the first chapter from me. You can find it here. If you want the whole book, get it from this link because then when you get it from Amazon and come back to this link, I give you the most amazing bonuses to go with it. You can find Trust Again Here.

Thanks so much for being here, for being a part of A Dose of Dr. Debi as part of the From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast, and I'll see you next time.

Resources Mentioned

PBT PodcastsPost Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness
Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

Do you sometimes feel like your body has betrayed you? Or maybe it’s the inverse, do you feel like you have betrayed your body? What does body betrayal mean? What does it look like? Let’s find out.

Dr. Lisa Olszewski struggled with her weight since she was a child, causing her to feel like her body let her down multiple times. Despite sticking to CrossFit exercises and trying many popular weight-loss diets, she just couldn't shed the unwanted, excess pounds.

Eventually, these instances of "body betrayal" led her to starve herself for four months. While she finally lost the unwanted pounds, she damaged her health in the process, even losing her hair and messing up her menstrual cycle. This time, her body was on the receiving end of betrayal.

In this episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Dr. Lisa Olszewski shares what she went through to heal her body back while learning to love herself in the process.

About Guest/Topic Dr. Lisa Olszewski is a chiropractor, naturopath, and keto nutrition fanatic. When she’s not fixing spines in her chiropractic office, she’s passionately simplifying healthy living through her online courses, virtual summits, and one-on-one coaching to help everyone achieve vibrant health levels.

She maintains a wellness chiropractic office in Chelsea, Michigan, and made history in 2012 when she was elected the first female to serve on the Executive Committee of the Michigan Association of Chiropractors. In January of this year, she became the first female President of that association.

In This Episode * Who is Dr. Lisa Olszewski? [0:10] * Learn about the body betrayals that Dr. Lisa went through [1:39] * How did Dr. Lisa Olszewski overcome these hurdles? [3:54] * What is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)? [12:22] * How can we achieve a healthy body, mind, and spirit? [18:12] * …and many more

Quotes “I realized what completes me is me. I think that’s something so many of us have always said, like, ‘oh I can’t wait to find my soulmate, you know, to find that person that completes me.’ Nobody else is ever gonna complete you.” [9:14]

“Think of those words that we’re always saying to ourselves and if you said that to your best friend, you wouldn’t have a best friend. Like, we have to become cognizant of the comments that we’re making, what, all those conversations that are replaying in our head all throughout the day and really paying attention to it.” [10:59]

“There’s a vibrancy that comes about not only when you’re healing from that cell level, like structurally, but physically, mentally, emotionally.” [14:19]

“Every single decision you make today impacts the quality of life 10, 20, 30 years down the road, like, that’s the reality of it. So, if it’s just by incorporating one simple thing today and you do that tomorrow and you add it in again 3 days from now and then, you continue on, you will absolutely without a doubt be healthier a year from now than, you know, be sicker, right? By just incorporating simple things.” [18:52]

“Healthy living can be simple and it is the simple, strategic steps, simple steps are baby steps. I always use that Tony Robbins analogy, right? I’m gonna steal it from Tony Robbins where he always says um, if you look at our children when they’re crawling and learning to walk, if they fall, it’s not that we ever look at our kids and just say, ‘give up now, you’re not gonna be a walker!’ No, but how often do we do it with ourselves? It could be healthy living. It could be whatever aspect of our life… Go back to being that crawling toddler and try and try and try again.” [25:11]

Resources Mentioned

Dr. Lisa Olszewski’s Website

American Institute of Healthy Living Facebook

Healthy Living Simple Instagram

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

While change is a crucial aspect of one's developmental journey, many people remain resistant to it, preferring instead to stay in their comfort zone. That said, one important question needs to be asked—is there a way for us to learn to embrace change? How can we get better at dealing with transitions?

I am Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi.

Today, we will be discussing two different approaches to change: the revolutionary way, which is quick and drastic; and the evolutionary method, which is slow, gradual, and gentle. We will also be tackling how to identify which approach makes sense for our individual circumstances.

In This Episode * Learn the difference between evolutionary and revolutionary approaches to change * Discover the applications of these distinct approaches * Find out which approach is a better fit for your situation

Transcription

Hi there, Dr. Debi here welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi is part of the From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast. So today I want to talk about the difference between evolutionary and revolutionary. What do I mean?

Years ago I had a client who I was pushing pretty hard. I mean, that's why they hire me. She was a health client, and wanted to look a certain way and feel a certain way so I was really pushing her, thinking that that's what she wanted. She stopped me one day and she said; “Debi, my changes need to be evolutionary not revolutionary.” It stopped me in my tracks. I didn't quite understand what she meant back then. But, what she meant was; “My changes need to be so slow and gradual that I barely notice I'm making them, and because of that. I'll sustain those changes and keep moving forward.” Versus; “Throw me in the deep end and I have to figure it out.”

So change happens, whether you take the evolutionary approach or the revolutionary approach, but I want to talk today about finding out which one resonates best with you. So if you find that you've been wanting to make all of these changes, physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually whatever it is, and then you're sabotaging yourself, I want you to take a look and think; “You know, is it possible that my approach has been the wrong one for me that I need an evolutionary approach and I'm giving myself a revolutionary approach?” Or; “I'm giving myself a revolutionary approach, and I really would be best served with an evolutionary approach?”

Let me give you examples of both. The first thing that comes to mind is, and most of you know I have four kids, (25,24, 21 and 19). I have one of my daughters, who happens to do really well with the revolutionary approach. She would rather not make any changes, and then throw herself in the deep end and figure it out. It's like throwing yourself in the deep end and figuring out how to swim, versus, let me see if I can take a little swimming lesson. Let me see if I can learn something. Let me see if I can read a book about swimming, let me just do one thing that can bring me closer to it. Nope. She'd rather not and dive right in. She's done this so many times and has found that for her, it's a brilliant approach.

I'll never forget, she's done this many times, (and I may have even shared this on one of the episodes) where she just came to me one day and said; “Mom, I need to go to China for a semester, and I already figured it out, and it's 10 credits and it's actually less expensive than school.” It sounded reasonable and knowing who she was, I was like; “Well, okay.” Maybe she knows something that I don't know and okay I'll go along with it. And so she does this, and then she calls up when she's there, after the first couple days; “Oh my gosh, what did I do, this is crazy, I don't speak the language, I'm a vegetarian. I don't know what to eat, I can't ask for anything. I made the biggest mistake. Oh no!”

Well, a couple days later, she calls back; “Oh, Mom, this is the greatest. It's the best thing ever. It's so nice. There's a lady who cuts up my fruit for me and I know my way around and it’s amazing.” It was the greatest thing ever for her, the revolutionary approach was a good one.

Now, there are other people and I have so many people within The PBT Institute where they need to take an evolutionary approach. And for them, it could be something as simple as they just joined the membership, they join the community, and that's it. We don't hear from them within the community, we don't see them within the community, but they're just dipping their toe in, and maybe they'll do a module of one of the programs, maybe we'll just read some of the posts that we have on our forums, all of our different forums different categories and topics, maybe they'll just attend one of my classes, and then they'll do that for a few weeks. Then, all of a sudden, they may comment on one of the forum posts, they may post a comment after one of the classes, they may put their video on during one of our live classes. What they're doing is getting a sense of comfort on their own time, on their own schedule.

I mean, you can think of a million different examples. In every topic, where this approach can work for you. Now some people need to see more of a dramatic change, and they need to take that revolutionary approach and here's the thing, too. With that revolutionary approach, a lot of people do that because they don't trust themselves, they don't trust that if they take the time, they'll see the results and they may get bored, they may fall off track, they may not have the motivation to continue when the changes are so gradual. That's totally okay if that's you, that revolutionary approach may be a better one for you. Because think about it, when, when you do take that revolutionary approach, you are forced to change.

If I bought you a ticket to some foreign country and, and you landed there, you would adapt very quickly. You'd have to figure it out because what's your choice, right? It's like learning a new language. You can learn it by studying it, by reading about it, but how much quicker do you learn it when you're immersed in the culture? You see? So, that would be a more of a revolutionary approach. But some people really feel much more comfortable with that evolutionary approach. Here, the changes are so slight, so small, so gradual, yet so consistent, that over time, they don't really feel such a big change, it didn't create a shake-up to their whole environment, it didn't create such a shake up to everybody, everything (them included), so it was enough that they could include it within their daily routine, include it in their lifestyle, embrace it, get familiar with this new way to be until it becomes a habit that is slowly a part of them.

There's no right or wrong here. The only thing that doesn't work is when you do nothing. So if there's any area of life, whether you're talking about any area of health, whether it's anything having to do with your work, with your relationships, with trying something new, it's going to take, doing something new, doing something different, feeling something different, thinking something different. You have to do something differently, to create a different result. S

Which approach feels like a better fit for you? Here's what I recommend. Take a look at all the areas of your life, see what needs tweaking. Now, this is part of the From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast so there’s a good chance you're healing from a betrayal or you were lied to, you were deceived in some way, you were betrayed, whatever it was. Take a look at how you've been moving through that, when it comes to change. You are only moving in one of two ways. You are only, every single day, by every single thought, behavior, action you have, you are moving further or closer to whatever it is you want. So, which way are your thoughts, behaviors, actions habits taking you?

Are you taking that revolutionary approach which is taking you so much closer to what you want, quickly? Then you quickly have to catch up (let's say your body is there but your mind isn't, your emotions aren't and you have to catch up quickly). Or, are you taking that evolutionary approach which is so gradual so slow so gentle, but it feels better? Here, it's not as chaotic, it's not that shock of; “Oh my gosh, here I am in this foreign land, what the heck do I do?” It's a more gradual approach for you. There is no right or wrong. It's only knowing who you are and knowing what the best fit is. But, if you're interested in any type of change, physical, mental, emotional, whatever it is, it's going to take doing something differently.

So here's what I recommend. Take a look at what you're looking to change, (body, mind, life, lifestyle, relationships, finances,) any topic. Then, take a look and say; “Which would be a better approach for me based on who I am, what I need?” If you don't do well with that evolutionary approach because you fall off track or lose interest or don't see success, quickly enough, then maybe the revolutionary approaches for you. Think about it though. Take a look ahead. If you've taken that revolutionary approach at some point and it freaked you out and so you sabotage yourself because you couldn't handle that drastic of a change, that's not an approach for you.

Take a look at the two options. There's the evolutionary approach which is slow, gentle, gradual. There's the revolutionary approach which is drastic and big. Which one's better for you? Hope that helps. And what I also suggest you do is, if you like the podcast, subscribe, rate review. Tell all your friends. And if a chapter of Trust Again, a free chapter just to get a sense of it serves, you can find that here.

If you know you want the whole book, go for it, and you'll find that you can get it Amazon but don't do that, get it from me first, because this way when you come back, not only do you get it from Amazon, but you come back and get all kinds of bonuses from me. You can find it here.

Don't stay stuck, whether it's the evolutionary or the revolutionary approach, make those changes so you look, feel, and live your best. I'll see you next time. Bye.

Resources Mentioned

PBT PodcastsPost Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness
Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

When dealing with betrayal and emotional trauma, a lot of people get stuck feeling anger, pain, and stress. Dr. Ritamarie Loscalzo, the founder of the Institute of Nutritional Endocrinology, believes that sufferers of betrayal should not hang onto their stories by reliving their experiences as this can be detrimental to their physical health.

In this insightful episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Dr. RitaMarie talks about how the body releases cortisol whenever it perceives stress. This hormone causes our heart rate and blood sugar level to increase, posing risks of insulin resistance and even heart disease. She shares some valuable tips on what to do when you are on a sympathetic nervous system overdrive.

About Guest/Topic Dr. Ritamarie Loscalzo is a licensed Doctor of Chiropractic, a certified nutritionist, and the founder of the Institute of Nutritional Endocrinology. Using her hard-earned skills and knowledge, she helps health and nutrition practitioners discover and treat the root cause of various health concerns.

Her treatments make use of functional assessments and natural therapeutics to balance the endocrine system, the body's master controller of hormones that regulate metabolism, sexual function, sleep, mood, and many more.

She is also a certified HeartMath® provider with a passion for stress transformation techniques, which she uses to help her clients combat stress and its negative effects on a person’s health.

Dr. RitaMarie offers several online programs and long-distance coaching and counseling services. She also hosts informative events.

In This Episode * Who is Dr. Ritamarie Loscalzo? [0:08] * Understand what happens within the body when we are stressed [2:58] * Discover what HeartMath® is [14:07] * Find out how long it takes for someone to start practicing HeartMath® automatically [20:15] * Learn how you can regulate your blood sugar levels through your diet [25:08] * …and many more

Quotes “An elevated blood sugar affects everything in your body. So, if you’ve ever known anybody who was diabetic or heard of the complications of diabetes, that’s happening in your body decades before you get diagnosed and even if you never get diagnosed.” [4:59]

“I teach people a technique. You’ve probably heard of it, HearthMath®. And I teach them how to tune in to their breath and their appreciation. And instantly, it shifts them into parasympathetic. And now, because they’re so stressed up and wound up, they’re gonna go right back. But if they can incorporate these little 30-second to 2-minute breaks throughout their day. Over time, within a week, they’re gonna start to feel better. The cravings start to go down.“ [13:32]

“Your nervous system doesn’t know the difference between you actually experiencing something and you retelling it, talking about it, thinking about it. It creates the same neurochemistry, the same immune system problems, the same blood pressure elevations.” [16:56]

“You have control. Every choice you make matters. And you know when you are in this betrayal situation, you feel like you didn’t have choices, right? This happened to you. Your response after is all a matter of how you choose—what you eat, how you think about it, whether you choose to diffuse it or whether you’re in a place where you just don’t want to… and then I realized anger isn’t serving me here.” [26:14]

Resources Mentioned

Dr. Ritamarie Loscalzo

Dr. Ritamarie Loscalzo Facebook

Hormone Hacking Breakfast Menus

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

Forgiveness is an important step to rebuilding-either yourself or a broken relationship. While this act can bring the forgiver peace of mind and frees them of hurt, anger, and blame, the process can take an incredible amount of effort and time. For many people, it is a constant struggle to let go of past grudges and lingering resentment.

Is there a way out of these negative emotions to move forward? What can you do if forgiving a person who wronged you is proving to be difficult?

I am Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi.

Today, we will be discussing forgiveness and the importance of understanding your motives for wanting to be more forgiving. We will also tackle what acceptance means and how it can lead to healing when you aren’t ready to forgive.

In This Episode * Realize the benefits of forgiveness * Discover the common reasons why we withhold forgiveness * Understand the difference between forgiveness and acceptance

Transcription

Hi there, Dr. Debi here and welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi as part of the From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast. You know, this has been coming up a lot within The PBT Institute, so I wanted to bring it up because I have a feeling this may serve you.

So often we want to move towards forgiveness. We've heard forgiveness is for us, not the other person. We've heard we’ll feel so much better when we forgive, and we struggle with it so much. So I'm going to talk about today, the difference between moving towards acceptance versus forgiveness. So if you're struggling with forgiveness, give yourself a big sigh of relief because maybe acceptance is an easier way to go. So that's the topic for today.

Just to break down forgiveness, a little bit. Yes, we've heard, it's in our best interest to forgive because it's true. We release the pain and the power that this has had over us so that's a that's a benefit. We struggle with it though because we think if we forgive, are we setting ourselves up for it to happen again? Are we a sucker? Are we a pushover?

Withholding forgiveness also gives us a sense of control. When we've been betrayed, when we've been lied to, or deceived, life spins out of control. We want to grab on to anything that gives us a feeling like we have the reins like we're getting some measure of control back into our lives. Withholding forgiveness, believe it or not, can feel like one of the things that we have control over. So, there are so many reasons why we would withhold forgiveness.

Also, let's face it, our egos are badly bruised and withholding forgiveness, gives us a sense of power, like; “I'll show you” kind of thing. And that's just our ego talking and you know it's been badly bruised and it's flexing its muscle a bit. But here's the thing. Yes, forgiveness is all about us. Yes, it releases the power the pain has over us. Yes, it prevents us from spending so much time on the past and harnesses that time, so that we can work towards the future.

That's the idea. We want to heal and we give ourselves the best possible opportunity. When we forgive, it's not about them, it's about us. And the biggest difference I would say is, when it comes to forgiveness, is that's largely about us. When it comes to reconciliation. that's largely about the other person. You still don't have to do anything if you don't want to. But when it comes to forgiveness, it really doesn't matter what's going on on the other end of it, it doesn't matter if they agree, it doesn't matter if they apologize, it doesn't matter if there's deep regret, remorse, apology, guilt, all of these things. It really doesn't matter. It's about us and it's that release we feel when we do forgive.

It's interesting. I really thought forgiveness was going to be this one big grand ta-da moment. No, it's layers and stages and I remember even in my own journeys with both of my betrayals. You forgive then you take it back, you forgive, you take it back, you forgive you take it back. And that was really hard. I was working with my badly bruised ego that whole time. And when we really forgive you truly do feel free. But, if you're not ready for that, that’s ok.

I see so often where people try to forgive too early and it backfires every time. So check the reasons why you want to forgive. If the reason is because you just want this over with, you just want to put it behind you, but you haven't really processed it, it's going to backfire. I remember reading one study, when I was doing the study on betrayal and in the study they said; “If you feel safe and valued and you forgive, you feel better. If you do not feel safe and valued and you forgive you feel worse.”

So take a look at your own situation. Are you forgiving just to get it over with? Just to put it behind you? Just because it's too chaotic if you're not going along with everything? Take a look at your intentions. Why you want to forgive? Because I'll tell you there were three groups in the study who did not heal, and the group where the betrayer had very little consequences, whether it was out of financial fear, religious reasons (that was a big one), not wanting to break up a family, fear of change, fear of the unknown, whatever it was, they just tried to put it behind them. I only saw two things with this one group. Number one, a further deterioration of the relationship. And two, this group by far was the most physically sick. Your broken heart can’t handle that. So be aware of the reason why you're choosing to forgive.

But here's what I want to offer. If forgiveness feels too challenging right now for where you are. An alternative is acceptance. With acceptance, again, that's just for you, but what that does is it gets you out of this lock, out of this holding pattern. With acceptance, it's one of the biggest needle movers moving you forward. As you know I talk about the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough. And when we are in Stage Three, which is the most common place to get stuck, most people land there and stay there. One of the greatest ways to move yourself forward, even just a little bit, is acceptance. It’s one of the classic things that I saw when people would move from Stage Three to Stage Four. Because they were accepting their scenario. This was where they said; “I can't undo my betrayal, but I can control what I do with it.” And here's where that acknowledgement, that acceptance, moved them forward. It’s the Stage Three people, the ones who are stuck in Stage Three, they were like; “Nope, I am not accepting this. I have my story and I'm sticking with it.” You've heard me talk about this and if you want me to talk more about stage three, let me know.

This is the stage, we don't even realize it, we wind up getting stuck in and transformation doesn't even happen until Stages Four and Stage When we want to move out of that perpetual holding pattern, we need to accept where we are. And that's actually what Stage Four is. Finding and Accepting a New Normal. Here's where you acknowledge, I cannot undo my experience, but I can control what I do with it.

I see this so often now in this whole time period that we're going through, with COVID and everything else. There are some people that (and I'm not minimizing COVID at all. I had it. I've lost people I've loved. I am not minimizing it at all.) What I'm saying here though is, there are some people who look at this time period, and they say; “Oh my gosh the COVID 15! I gained all this weight.” “I haven't been social, I haven't been able to get out of my house, it's the worst thing ever.” Then there are the other people who accept it. This is what is so what can I do with it? So some people are like; You know what, I finally had the time to clean out my house, you know, all those closets I've been neglecting.” “I finally have a chance to be on Zoom, FaceTime, connect on the phone, I can be more social than ever!” “I don't even have the travel time, I can go from one call to the next.” “I only have to iron or steam the front of my shirts!” “I could be closer to my family, I could spend more quality time.”

Those are the people that are accepting. Those are the people that are moving forward, where the other people are just kicking and screaming and staying stuck. You know it reminds me? Think about the strength of a tree. If it's rigid and unbending, it’ll break. The real strength is when there's a little bit of flexibility, there's a little bit of acceptance, of movement. It's the tree that's flexible, it's the tree that bends, that's the one that withstands all the storms. It's the one that is so rigid and unbending, that's the one that breaks. So if you find forgiveness is way too big of a stretch for you right now, and I get it. I appreciate it. I understand exactly where you are. You have every right to stay stuck, you have your story. You've been wronged, you've been duped, you've been lied to, you've been betrayed, I get it. I’ve been there.

Forgiveness has nothing in the world to do with that other person. It has everything to do with making you feel better. Forgiveness makes you feel better. If you're not ready for it, what I would love you to, to consider his acceptance, where it's a step closer. And it's just a step closer to your freedom, where you're realizing I cannot undo this experience, but I control what I do with it.

So I hope that helps and check in with me next time, I'm going to give you all kinds of tips, tools strategies to move past this. Now, if you like the show, subscribe, rate and review so you don't miss an episode! Share it with your friends, anybody who could benefit. And if you'd like to try a chapter of Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness, You can find you can sample a chapter here. If you want to get the whole book, don't just get it from Amazon, get it from this special link because this way you can get the book plus a lot of bonuses. Thanks so much, I'll see you next time. Bye.

Resources Mentioned

PBT PodcastsPost Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness
Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

People with trust and betrayal issues often struggle with intimacy problems, which can lead to divorce, separation, or loneliness. Luckily, Susan Bratton is here to teach us how we can heal and reignite our sexual passion.

In this episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Susan shares her Magic Pill Method that can help partners remove the roadblocks that prevent us from achieving a healthy and satisfying relationship.

About Guest/Topic Susan Bratton is an intimacy expert and advocate for those who desire passionate relationships. She is the CEO and co-founder of The 20, a manufacturing company focusing on sexual health supplements, and Personal Life Media, Inc.

A prolific author, Susan has written 34 books and created several programs that have helped countless people find answers to their intimacy problems. She has been featured in the New York Times and frequently lends her expertise to national television shows.

In This Episode * Who is Susan Bratton? [0:10] * How do trust issues and betrayal affect sexuality and intimacy? [2:45] * How did you solve the problem of betrayal affecting intimacy? [7:22] * What is the Magic Pill Method? [9:37] * How much of the pain [during sexual intercourse] has to do with mindset and trauma and conditioning from past stuff that hasn’t been cleared up? [16:47] * What can you do to move past shame and feeling uncomfortable so you can find solutions? [18:43] * What is G-Spot healing? [28:55] * …and many more

Quotes “Our sexual growth and personal growth are two sides of the same coin. As we age, as we mature, we can get better in bed and have more fulfilling intimacy and heart connection than we did when we are young. We are an ever-expanding possibility and it’s our choice to either contract or expand.” [10:43]

“If you are in a partnered relationship, fix the problem together. Because when you have the commitment, it’s not just okay your vagina is broken, go fix it…our vagina is broken.” [18:07]

“You’re actually the one who is better off than the person who traumatized you. When you begin to look at it that way, that yes, you were ruined by it, but…they’re the one who needs to feel sorry.” [27:03]

“One of the things that’s very important for people who have been sexuality traumatized or betrayed is that they need to have everything slowed down.” [34:53]

“You can get through it. That you can heal your trauma and you can come out the other side and remember your central self before trauma.” [39:18]

Resources Mentioned

Personal Life Media

G Spot Joy

Better Lover

Magic Pill Method

Libido Book

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

Life is filled with endless opportunities and every day is a chance to steer yourself toward a more fulfilled and happier life.

But how many times have you held yourself back from experiences and opportunities? How many times have you given up on your dreams or passions because you thought they were unattainable or you were too busy? If you could wind the clock back, would you?

What if I told you that it’s never too late to make drastic changes in your life?

I am Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi. Today, we will be discussing how we often prevent ourselves from achieving what we are truly capable of and why it’s never too late to pursue our life’s calling or make significant changes in our lives.

In This Episode

Listen to Dr. Debi as she shares the moment that changed her life
Understand the importance of reflecting on your personal journey
Learn why it’s never too late to start something new or make changes in your life

Transcription

Hi there. Welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi and today I wanted to talk about how it's never too late. And the reason why I want to talk about that is, you know on Facebook, sometimes you get those “memories” that show up on your timeline? Well, I had a memory show up, and it was such a milestone for me. It impacted me so much that I shared it. It impacted everybody who saw it. I put it in my weekly newsletter, and I got a lot of great responses from there, too. I thought I would share it with you, with the hopes that it'll inspire you, too.

I actually want to read what I wrote, and then I want to talk a little bit about it.

A meaningful memory popped up on my Facebook timeline today. I find that we’re so busy thinking about what we need to do, what we haven’t done, and what we could do better. Yet, when we take the time to reflect on where we were a month, a year, 5 years ago, we often realize how much we’ve done, how resilient we are, and more importantly, who we’ve become because of what we’ve been through along the way.

When this “memory” showed up on my timeline, it was a great time to reflect on a personal journey of trauma to transformation, and coming out of it with the inspiration for what I’m blessed to say, has helped thousands of others do the same.

Life is filled with so many opportunities to see how resilient we are. These things don’t happen because we’re unlucky or we’re destined to live a painful story as victims of what’s happened to us. Things simply happen, and it’s what we do with these things that matter most. Yes, we can have our story, but becoming the hero or heroine of our story is a much better story. It’s through “opportunities” in the form of negative experiences, toxic relationships, and painful exchanges that we can let that define us, or we can find the strength to slowly and steadily rise above. I love that saying by Eleanor Roosevelt: “A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”

Well, my tea bag self has been in hot water a few times in the form of the loss of loved ones, a disease that nearly ended my life, and heartbreaking, soul-crushing betrayal. Each experience had its own unique healing protocol, and each one left me with insights and strength gained from moving past them.

How would I define the healing process? Messy, uncomfortable, kind of like an “ugly cry”. Definitely not graceful or pretty, yet there’s something so beautiful about the process of self-discovery, especially when you can look at it from the other side and see from a healed space how strong, resilient and powerful you’ve become because of it.

After my painful betrayal, I was desperate to understand how the mind works, why people do these things, and how I can heal. I realized that boundaries were being crossed and I never took my needs seriously. Something had to change and that was me. So, at 50, with 4 kids, 6 dogs, and a business, I enrolled in a PhD program. I honestly had no clue how I’d manage it, pay for it or find the time to go through it. But since “nothing changes if nothing changes,” that betrayal was the catalyst for my life to change more than I would ever realize.

Talk about the unknown—have you ever done something without having any idea what would show up? Where, you felt so guided to do something, say something, try something without having any idea why? Yep, that’s exactly what happened and the pull was so strong that I just decided to go with it.

So here’s what my Facebook memory reminded me of, and I invite you to consider what memories you can think about to remind you of what you’ve been through, too.

1 - My 79-year-old fellow graduate friend who got his PhD along with me, letting me know that I can never use the excuse “you’re too old to do something” ever again

2 - Family to celebrate this milestone with

3 - Getting “hooded” as part of the PhD ceremony

4 - The minute after giving the commencement speech for my class and knowing that the words I just spoke would serve as the inspiration behind my book, Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness.

5 - My study chair, who said: “Debi, I believe you’ve discovered a process here,” and then the 5 stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough was birthed.

That was such a life-changing moment. And I'm sharing this because we don't realize what happens when we’re in motion. I remember one of my mentors saying, and if you've listened to these shows long enough, watch the shows enough, you'll hear me say: “You can't steer a parked car.” And it's so true. It's only when we're in motion do things happen. And, “You can't course-correct standing still,” which is what another one of my mentors said and it's so true.

We need to be in motion to see these things. And so often I see people who say: “Well, I'm just too old to do something.” You just heard it here, my 79-year-old fellow graduate friend picked up and got his PhD at 79. I thought I was crazy getting mine at 50, but 79!

Or I always think of Louise Hay of Hay House. Louise started Hay House at 60. Or sometimes I'll look up athletes later in life and you see that they started in their 50s, in their 60s, and here they are looking and feeling so great.

I see it so often where people are just so settled in their ways. Is it really too late? I just told you about my 79-year-old friend and Louise Hay starting Hay House at 60. Is it really too late? Or, is that your way of saying: “I don't know if I have the energy, the strength, the wherewithal to change what I've already created.”

I think so often that's more the case, coupled with: “You know, I don't know if I have what it takes to do this.” This means we just haven't pushed ourselves far enough because you're so much stronger than you think, you're so much more capable than you think. And it's only when your “tea bag self” is in water, does it get tested.

There's something so often that you've been meaning to do, that's on your list, that you would love to do, try, become. What's stopping you? When you think about it, what’s stopping you? Is it that it'll cause a bit of a shake-up with the people around you? Is it that it would cause you to change a well-oiled machine that you already have in motion? Is it that it would cause you to learn something new? What is it?

And here's the thing. I'll do a whole other show on this too, regrets stink. You know, when you look at the end of the road and when you look back, if you didn't do that thing, try that thing, become that version of you…what's that going to feel like?

I remember reading something about going back to school later in life. And I think it was somebody going back to become a doctor later in life and everyone said: “Oh my gosh you'll be like 60 by the time you get there!” And the man said: “Well, if all goes well, I'll be 60 anyway, and this way I can be a doctor when I get there.”

So the whole idea is, what are you preventing yourself from starting because you think it's too late? I would really take a look and say: “What COULD life look like if I take this on and play it all out?” Yes, it may upset the applecart with something you have going. It may, maybe, upset a few people. It’ll, maybe, inconvenience a person or two.

But I also invite you to question this. How often is it that you've put yourself last for everybody else's sake? I see this with women and I see this so often with moms. Guys, you do this too but I see this particularly with the women. Where we take care of everyone else and if everyone else's needs are cared for, it's at that point that we take a look and say: “Okay, it's my turn.” Well, by that point, there's no time, energy, effort left for our own self-care. We're depleted, we're exhausted, there's nothing left.

So when you look at it and you feel that sense of unease, that calling. You know it's real when you see someone else do it and you may get jealous. You may be envious and you may find reasons to put that person down for doing it. But secretly you’re saying (and I remember someone else saying this, too): “When you're complaining about something, it's because you know you can do it and you’re not.” And I invite you to look at, let's say criticizing someone else. Use that same thinking. You're criticizing someone else because you know you can do it and you’re not.

This is just a big call to action here to take a look at how you're living, what you're doing, and more importantly what you're not doing. I'm not saying at all, don't be happy with where you are or that you're never supposed to feel comfortable, and you're never supposed to be proud of where you are. That's not it at all. What I'm saying is when there's that calling inside of you, when you know there's more, and when the reason you're not doing it is because it would take too much energy, because it's too hard, because it would be an inconvenience to other people because I'd have to say no to something else. All of those reasons (which are very likely very often excuses), where the person you're inconveniencing the most, is you.

For example, when I went back for that PhD, were my kids affected? Of course, they were. I wasn't as available as I normally was but who was I really inconveniencing? Me! I missed out on many beautiful, sunny days and I couldn't go out and be with everybody because I was studying, I was writing, whatever it was. Was it worth it? 100% and I have a feeling if I asked my 79-year-old fellow graduate friend, he would say the same thing.

So, from here, I would suggest, take a look at what is gnawing at you. It could be something as simple as growing that garden, taking that class, speaking to that person, whatever it is. And then when you say to yourself: “It's too late. I'm too old,” take a look, my 79-year-old fellow graduate friend because he’s here to prove it. Louise Hay was here to prove it. Take a look at all those adult athletes later in life, they’re all here to prove it. It's never too late and you're never too old.

I hope this inspires you. If you like this show, subscribe, rate, review, and tell everybody you know. And if it would serve to download a chapter of my book, Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness, you can just get the first chapter of that just to see if you like it. You can just find that here.

Of course, there's the most incredible membership community waiting for you as well. And you'll find everything there at The PBT Institute. There truly is no community like it. We have live daily classes with our certified coaches. We have programs 24/7 that literally walk you through the Five Stages of Betrayal to Breakthrough, which was one of the discoveries in the study. So staying stuck has now become a choice. You can literally walk through the different stages, we have masterclasses with the most brilliant experts. I'm in their teaching Q&A, forums with the most incredible community all there to lift and inspire. We look at the community as training wheels until you don't need them. It's the same thing. You're not meant to stay in there forever. You're meant to get your job done, learn to feel safe again, love again, trust again, and then you're good. Then you move along. Tune in next time for a lot more, I'll talk to you then.

Bye-bye.

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Most people are familiar with physical abuse, but when it comes to emotional abuse, victims often second-guess themselves. According to Abuse Recovery Expert Beverly Engel, it is easy to miss the signs of emotional abuse due to deceptive tactics used by abusers. One important thing to remember is that victims should never feel that they deserve the abuse or feel ashamed of their situation.

In this episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Beverly discusses what usually occurs in an emotionally abusive relationship and how we can be compassionate toward ourselves to begin the healing process.

About Guest/Topic

Beverly Engel is an internationally recognized psychotherapist with 35 years of experience. She is also a licensed marriage and family therapist and an acclaimed advocate for victims of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse.

Beverly authored 23 self-help books, many of which have been featured on national television and radio programs, as well as national print media. Her latest book is titled, Escaping Emotional Abuse: Healing the Shame You Don’t Deserve.

In This Episode

Who is Beverly Engel? [0:10]
What is emotional abuse? [2:10]
What are some examples of emotional abuse? [2:49]
How do you know if someone is being emotionally abused? [4:11]
Can men be emotionally abused and if so, what does it look like? [10:44]
Scenarios that show women abusing men [12:15]
How does shame come into play in emotional abuse? [15:08]
What is the difference between guilt and shame? [17:38]
Is it possible to abuse someone unintentionally and if so, how? [20:20]
Perspectives on lying, projecting, gaslighting [22:13]
What is the 5 Step Shame Reduction Program? [26:43]
What are some examples of self-kindness? [29:24]
…and many more

Quotes

“Emotional abuse is like brainwashing. It slowly whittles away the victim’s self-confidence, you know, self-esteem, even their perceptions of themselves.” [7:17]

“There’s research that shows that emotional abuse is actually more physically and emotionally damaging than physical abuse” [10:24]

“You gotta be careful. Victims tend to take all the blame and abusers tend to blame everybody else.” [13:51]

“A lot of abusers go to therapy once their partners have left and that’s just to get her back but some go to therapy because they’re truly shocked at their own behavior. They’re truly shocked at their children witnessing their behavior and they truly want to change.” [21:51]

”Don’t blame or shame yourself if you’re not ready to leave and if you’re never gonna leave, okay? Don’t add that shame to the shame that you are already feeling. There are good reasons why you are afraid.” [30:10]

Resources Mentioned

Beverly Engel’s Website

Heal My Shame

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

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Many people shy away from things that make them uncomfortable so they sweep the issue under the rug instead of facing it head-on.

The thing is, the predicament doesn’t go away. And by ignoring it, the problem can actually become bigger than it has to be. Aside from that, avoiding lingering issues forces you to miss out on the opportunity to overcome them and build confidence from the experience.

So how do you avoid taking the path of least resistance? How can you learn to embrace challenges?

I am Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi.

Today, we will be tackling the mantra, “Hard Now, Easy Later,” and how you can apply this mindset to your daily life.

In This Episode * Understand the difference between “easy now, hard later,” and “hard now, easy later.” * Discover areas in life where you’ve applied these mantras * Find out how you can remind yourself to choose the “hard now, easy later” option

Transcription

Hi there Dr. Debi here and here is another Dose of Dr. Debi as part of the From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast. There's a saying, and I'm not kidding, it's my 30th year in business and this is a saying that I have been using for 30 years. It applies to every single topic in life, and I want to share it with you. I have a feeling if you embrace this mantra, you will see so clearly how you're showing up and more importantly, what you can do to change what isn’t working for you. Ready?

Easy now, hard later. Hard now, easy later. Take your pick, it's going to be one of those two.

So here's what I mean and you can use it for anything. Let's take weight loss for example. Easy now: “there are the cookies and I want them.” Hard later: “I can’t button my pants.” Or, hard now: “I really want those cookies, but I really want to feel good too.” Easy later: “Huh, look how great my clothes fit me!”

You see, it works with any topic. For example: “I don't want to have that awkward conversation, so I'm just going to pretend that everything's okay,” that’s easy now, hard later. Or: “Wow, this issue is still lingering” (hard now), “I don't want to have that awkward conversation but I know I need to in order to clear the air” (easy later). And then after that conversation, “Wow, with a clearer understanding, we both understand where each other is coming from!”

I run The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute, and I see it so clearly within our Institute and it shows up in so many ways. Here’s the experience of easy now: “This is really uncomfortable. This is really painful. I just don't know what to do. So I'm going to use food, drugs, alcohol, work, TV, keeping busy, or reckless behavior to numb, avoid, or distract from this pain that is so painful to feel or face.” Hard later: “It's still there. My challenge is still there. The problem is still there. I don't feel any better about my experience.” On the other hand, hard now: “This is one of the most challenging things I've ever faced. I am facing demons and slaying dragons and this is really, really hard.” And then easy later: “Wow, you know, by facing it and feeling it, I'm healing it! I'm moving through this experience, I'm seeing how strong I am. I'm seeing how capable I am. Things that used to completely derail me, no longer do. I'm becoming more confident. I'm putting boundaries in place that I never did before. And I'm seeing things so differently. And the more I extract myself from that situation, the more I remove myself from the experience, the more clearly I see it. And even though it happened to me it's not about me.”

You see, we see so many things when we do the “hard now, easy later.” But let's face it, that's uncomfortable. And so many of us don't want to be uncomfortable. So we just kind of get by, and we think: “Okay, well you know what, I'll just move through this taking the path of least resistance.” If you've noticed, it doesn't go away.

So what would it take for you to try the “hard now, easy later,” as opposed to “easy now, hard later”? Take a look at how you've handled things before. I remember a mentor saying: “How you are in one area is how you are with everything.” So, there may be many other areas of life where you chose “easy now.” And you're sitting there with the “hard later.” This becomes a habit. And, what I see so often is that this mountain gets bigger and bigger to climb because as we're avoiding these things, it's just becoming too much to take on. Then it just becomes bigger and bigger and bigger, and then the fear of it just makes it bigger than it is. It makes it bigger than it needs to be. As opposed to when we opt for the “hard now.” This may sound something like: “I don't know how I'm going to get through this thing. I'm going to go over, around, through it. But, I am getting to the other side.” And, whether that means chipping away at it ever so slowly, that's okay. As long as you do something, incrementally, every single day to move you in the direction you want to go. At least you're challenging this big obstacle that in the past may have completely derailed you.

Like I said, this could be for health, it could be for relationships, it could be for business. Any topic you choose, you can apply this. But what I see so often is, so many of us, opt for that “easy now.” And yes, it may make the moment a bit easier, but if you notice, things don't change. That issue doesn't go away, and it also erodes our confidence.

How is confidence built? It’s built by having a challenge, taking it on, and then you look back and you're like: “Oh, look at me! Look what I just did!” That gives you the confidence to try something else because now you have that example of: “Wow, that was something I didn't want to do and I did it!” Whether it was having that difficult conversation, making that phone call, not having those cookies, whatever it is. When you do it, you see you've survived it, and you notice how you feel. You probably feel a little bit more confident. You feel more self-assured. You feel like: “Okay, you know what? I can do hard things. I can do challenging things. And when I do, I feel better. I feel a sense of relief.”

Typically, it's not as bad as what we perceive in our minds. Our minds can go crazy, where we build something up so much bigger than it needs to be. Have you ever experienced this? I mean something as simple as, maybe, there was a dessert and you just were imagining what it was going to taste like. You were trying so hard to control yourself. Has it ever happened to you where you go ahead and you have a taste of that dessert and it wasn't even as good as you thought? By trying it, you realize: “Wow, it's no big deal.” Well, so often that happens when we take on those challenging things. We have that conversation, we make that phone call, we don't run from that situation, but we move towards it.

Here's also where we need support and I caution you that you want support from the right type of people because the wrong type of support does more harm than good. We see this within The PBT Institute all the time. Well-meaning, or not so well-meaning, people may try to help you. But what happens is, they're coming from their own lens. They're coming from their own set of experiences. And do they have a hidden agenda why they may want or not want you to do something? That's likely. So, I always caution that when you're looking for that additional support, see where that person stands. What do they have to gain or lose by being completely objective? And that'll give you a hint for who may be a good person to reach out to when you’re in need.

But most importantly, really what I wanted to cover today was: “Hard now, easy later. Easy now, hard later. Take your pick because it's going to be one of those two.” And I really invite you that as you go through your week, and as you're moving through your day, and here comes that challenge (and it will show up, it always does), what's your go-to? Is it “hard now”? Is it: “Alright, here we go,” which builds confidence and you feel more empowered, self-assured. Or is it “easy now”? With that, you say something like: “You know what, forget it.” Now, it's one thing when you're just easygoing and it doesn't matter to you, then it's like: “Oh, who cares.” For example, if a bunch of people are going out for dinner and they say: “Where do you want to go?” And you say “I don't care, it doesn't matter to me.” So that's where it's like that, whatever works for everybody else. But, when it's something important, that's when you speak up, that's when it's “hard now.” You may say something like: “Yes, this is uncomfortable (who likes confrontation?) I don't like it, but I'm going to speak up, I'm going to say what's on my mind. I'm going to have that difficult conversation because I need to set my own boundaries. I need to be true to myself.” That leads to “Easy later.” Now you feel: “Now it's clear, it's clear what my boundaries are, it's clear what I'm willing to accept and not accept.” Do you see?

So, for this week, I would say put a rubber band on your wrist and snap the band. It’s not to hurt you, but to remind you when you find yourself opting for the “easy now.” I would say go for the “hard now,” which leads to the “easy later.” And I'll just give you one analogy, you know I love analogies. So, I may have shared this in the past but it's just so clear. Let's say you have a messy room, messy garage, and there it is. You just avoid it at all costs. Who wants to be in there? It's a big ol’ mess and you think it's not vying for your attention. Oh, but it is. You avoid it all you can. But then, think about it. That’s the “easy now.” And then there's the one day where you say: “You know what? That's it, I'm going in.” Think about what happens. You roll your sleeves up, you grab your garbage bags and you're like: “Ok, here we go.”

And actually, if you think about it, in the beginning, it's worse. It's worse because things were all over the place. You go: “I'm going to donate that, toss that, fix that.” And then you put everything back, that's left. And you stand back and look at how great it looks! You want to call everybody over and say: “Look in my garage!” You're so proud of it. That was the “hard now” leading to the “easy later.” Think about it, you have this sense of pride and empowerment that you couldn't have had unless you dove in and did the work. Now because you dove in and did the work, you feel good, that's the “easy later.”

So again it’s: “Hard now, easy later. Easy now, hard later. Take your pick. It's going to be one of those two.” And I would love to hear from you to see. Did you notice you were opting for more of the “easy now”? And has it been leaving you with “hard later”? Or, have you chosen something that could potentially be “hard now,” leading to the “easy later”? I would love to hear from you to find out how that goes for you.

If you are enjoying this podcast, please subscribe, rate, and review. Tell your friends, tell everybody you know, And my book: Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness is available if you want to give it a try. You can download your free chapter here.

Thanks so much, I'll see you next time. Bye.

Resources Mentioned

PBT PodcastsPost Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness
Trust Again Free Gift

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Food addiction is typical after a betrayal. When we are misusing food, we are also betraying our own inner guidance. But Debbie Lichter, an expert on food addiction and embodiment, knows from experience that there is a way out of this hole.

In this episode, Debbie tackles the importance of knowing what is driving you towards food addiction and trusting your inner guidance system so that you can restore an internal sense of ease and comfort within yourself.

About Guest/Topic Debbie Lichter is the founder of Freedom Embodied Academy. Over the past decade, she has devoted herself to helping women worldwide overcome their food addiction and obsession and get their confidence back so that they can authentically shine their light.

She navigated her own path to freedom from food and drug addiction, codependency, severe anxiety, and self-doubt. Today, she uses her signature Congruence Code™ system to help women break free and stay free from their addictions so they can feel lighter, speak confidently, and be comfortable in their own skin.

In This Episode * Who is Debbie Lichter? [0:10] * What is inner guidance? [1:56] * What do we do when we always assume that people know better than us? [5:57] * How do we remove ourselves from the guilt, binging, and obsessing cycle? [13:13] * What does it feel like to be on course and off course when it comes to listening to your intuition? [17:49] * What does trusting yourself with food look like? [25:24] * …and many more

Quotes “As long as you’re focused on the food, it’s a surface strategy. It’s not actually addressing what’s driving you to food in the first place. And the pathway of freedom from food addiction, food obsession, binging, you know… the pathway is to be able to address what’s driving you to the food in the first place.” [15:12]

“The actions and behaviors are like leaves of the tree and what’s driving those are your attitudes, those are the branches of the tree. What’s driving those branches are the limiting beliefs and the delusions that are driving that. And the root is the fear.” [16:11]

“What shows up on our plates is a direct reflection of what we are wrestling with internally.” [22:14]

“Freedom—where you only eat when you’re hungry or you stop eating when you’re full, where you feel intuitively guided by what to eat, where you can go to a social situation or a restaurant and be present with the people and not be stressing out about what you’ll eat—this kind of freedom is absolutely possible for you.” [31:04]

“It starts with a willingness, a willingness to not know. A willingness to set aside everything you think you know about what you need, about how it is, about what you got. You know, just set it all aside and open yourself to consider, am I open to an entirely different approach?” [31:27]

Resources Mentioned Food Addiction Self-Assessment Quiz

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

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Introspection is crucial for us to know who we really are. The ability to look within ourselves, explore our experiences, and get in touch with our feelings enables us to move forward in life.

But what questions should you ask yourself?

My name Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another exciting episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi. Today, I will be discussing 4 revealing questions that you can ponder to get to the root of it all.

In This Episode * Understand the importance of introspection * Discover what the 4 revealing questions are * Learn how to apply these 4 questions in real life

Transcription

Hi there,

Another Dose of Dr. Debi here. So I want to go over today something that I call the four questions. And these questions, get under the hood, if you're wondering why you're not doing something, saying something, feeling something, or something just isn't right.

Sometimes, these questions are so helpful because they'll uncover what may be lurking in your subconscious or they, may be giving you an example of what you need to pay attention to but for some reason you're not. Why? It may cause a shakeup, it may cause a confrontation, it may cause change. And when I asked you the questions you'll see exactly what I mean.

I wanted to bring this up today because I just had three conversations, one after the other after another with members within The PBT Institute and the topics that they were struggling with were all so different, but I used this same line of questioning. For one was about weight, one was about a business challenge, and the other was about a lack of motivation and inspiration and meaning in life. So that was kind of broad, the other were two very specific topics, but this line of questioning gets to the root of all of it.

So the first question is:

Am I numbing, avoiding or distracting? If so, how?

The reason why I'm asking that question is because so often we use food, drugs, alcohol, work TV, keeping busy, reckless behavior to numb, avoid or distract ourselves from something painful to feel or face. What happens is, what used to make sense, just doesn't make sense anymore. What used to work, doesn't work as well as it used to. What we used to like, we don't like any more. We think we like change. We don't like change, because it's going to invite a whole bunch of changes in. Maybe more than just this one area too. So what we do is we use these things to keep that voice quiet. But, if you notice, the voice gets louder and louder so the stakes get bigger and bigger.

So maybe it used to be eating a few cookies and now it takes all a whole sleeve of cookies. It takes a drink, now it takes two or three drinks. It used to take a TV show where you're numbing out in front of the TV and now you're binge watching an entire series.

So ask yourself that question: Am I numbing, avoiding, distracting myself and if so, how? Call yourself on it. Do you walk into a room and put the TV on because you're trying to drown out the sounds of your own thoughts? Do you walk into the kitchen, you're not the least bit hungry, but you just find yourself eating? See what's going on right there. And with those three conversations that I had with our members, it was really insightful because they realized the actions they were doing, and this next question, really gets to the root of it.

The second question:

What am I pretending not to see?

Am I pretending not to see there's trouble in my relationship? Am I pretending not to see that health issue that needs my attention? Am I pretending not to see that I hate my job? What am I pretending not to see? Sometimes we think it's the most obvious thing. But for example, in the case about the weight loss, it really had nothing to do with the idea that it's going to be hard to lose weight. It had everything to do with who it's going to affect when she loses that weight. So, “What am I pretending not to see?” in her case, “I'm pretending not to see that my weight loss is going to cause a whole cascade in this relationship that I'm going to have to deal with.” You see?

The third question:

3.What's life going to look like in five to 10 years if I do nothing? Play that all the way out. So, in the case of weight loss, when you play that out five to 10 years, where you keep eating the same way, what's going to happen? You won't feel well, you're not going to look the way you want to look, you're going to have all kinds of health challenges because there's just so much you can ask your body to do. And, in her case, it was really going to affect her business. She's in fashion, you just can't pull that off as easily. Not even that, no matter what business you're in, how are you showing up, if you're trying to hide and if you don't feel comfortable? If you don't feel good putting yourself out there?

Let’s look at the other member within The PBT Institute who had a business issue. If she does nothing, play that out five to 10 years, what's that going to look like?, She was feeling such deep injustice and such anger at this one co-worker. Can you imagine that kind of work environment, five to 10 years from then, when you feel that much more powerless when you haven't spoken up that much more? How's that going to play out? Add in the health issues that go along with that that, too.

Now, the last question.

4.What could life look like in five to 10 years if I change now?

I'm not saying it's easy but transformation happens when you tell yourself the truth. So let’s take the case of the weight loss. Well, what's going to happen in five to 10 years if I change now? If I change now, it will cause a bit of a shakeup, but you know what, I'm going to feel better, I'm going to look better, I'm going to have more opportunities, I'm going to just feel better in my own skin, I'll be happier. It's this positive ripple effect. My business will do better, I'll make more money, I'll feel better, and it will it be a little bit of a shakeup immediately, maybe. But, when you look at the long-term consequences of that, look how much better that seems.

In the case of our member with the work situation. What's life going to look like in five to 10 years if I change now? Well, if she were to speak up, which she resolved that's what she's going to do. When she does that, how is she going to feel? Relieved, heard, the injustice is dealt with. She's speaking her mind, becoming more confident, finding her voice. What does that lead to? There's a positive effect in what that leads to. So again, let me go over those questions again and you can use them for health, for work, for relationships, you name it.

Am I numbing avoiding, distracting? If so, how?
What am I pretending not to see?
What's life going to look like in five to 10 years if I do nothing?

Play it all the way out. Take that health issue and play it all the way out five to 10 years. What's that going to look like? Take that work Issue five to 10 years. Play it out. What does that look like? Take that relationship issue and play it all the way out five to 10 years. What does that look like?

What could life look like in 5 to 10 years if I change now?

And that's the part we tend to avoid and I have a saying within the community and I am known for it. If you've listened to any of my podcasts for sure you've heard this ready? “Easy now, hard later. Hard now, easy later. Take your pick, it's going to be one of those two.” And what we typically opt for is easy now. What are we left with? Hard later. But hard now, (having a difficult conversation, making that decision, joining the gym packing the bags,) whatever it is for you is the “hard now.” Then “easy later,” you see that you've been heard, you feel relief, you've claimed your life back, whatever it is for you.

So just to sum this up. Those are the four questions I invite you to write down about any topic that's on your mind, that is tripping you up a bit. And when you're considering, “it's going to be uncomfortable, it's going to be hard, it's going to be this, it’s going to be that”. Play that all the way out and you see what it looks like by not making a decision. You know, it's by not making a decision you're making a decision by default, and it may not be the one that serves you best.

So I hope you enjoyed this episode. Subscribe, rate and review, share this with anybody who'd benefit from it. And if a chapter of Trust Again would serve you (Trust Again is my newest book). I have the five stages moving you from betrayal to breakthrough- from that place of Post Betrayal Syndrome symptoms to that full and complete state of Post Betrayal Transformation. If that serves, go ahead and get the book. And I want you to go there instead of Amazon because if you do I give you all kinds of goodies. But if you just want to sample a chapter you can do that too. So with that, subscribe, rate, and review I'll see you next time, ask yourself those four questions, see what shows up, and I know if he asked me, I always asked for hard now. Easy later. See you next time. Bye-bye.

Resources Mentioned

PBT PodcastsPost Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness
Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

Betrayal can be devastatingly painful, and when you’re a highly sensitive person, you can feel so much more than others. Sadly, people can—and will—judge you for that. How many times have you heard people telling you that you’re letting your emotions get the better of you? That might be because you’re more empathetic than most. That’s not something you should be ashamed of. In fact, that’s what makes you unique.

In today’s insightful episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough, Linda Binns teaches us to embrace our uniqueness and continue thriving even in a non-inclusive world.

About Guest/Topic

Linda Binns is a breakthrough energy coach. As an introverted, intuitive, and highly sensitive person herself, she understands what it feels like to be different, and she is on a mission to help others know who they are and learn to love themselves.

In This Episode

Who is Linda Binns? [0:10]
What does it mean to be highly sensitive? [2:04]
How does an empath differ from a highly sensitive person? [5:53]
Do highly sensitive people have a mental health problem? [7:09]
If you’re highly sensitive, can you still change?[14:12]
What are the benefits of being highly sensitive? [15:29]
What are some of the challenges for the highly sensitive empath who has been betrayed? [17:26]
How do we know if we’re highly sensitive? [21:10]
…and many more

Quotes

“Being highly sensitive means you pick up on all these things, so you’d be aware that somebody is upset or something is going on. But being an empath, it is more like you absorb that energy kind of like a sponge, and so if you are not careful, it can become yours.” [6:05]

“So, when you have a disorder, it means, yes, you’re highly sensitive but it’s so overwhelming that you can’t function. So just simply being highly sensitive, I think, is a trait. Like, you could be an introvert, extrovert, or type-A personality. It’s really a trait. It doesn’t become a disorder unless it’s so intense that you can’t function.” [7:50]

“I love being highly sensitive. I would not want to be any other way because I just—it enables you to tap into the advantages of it, the gifts of it because we see things, experience things, feel things that other people don’t. And now I think, my gosh. I wouldn’t want to be without that ability.” [14:54]

Resources Mentioned

Linda Binns’ Website

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Podcasts

The PBT Institute Membership Community

View Details

Our thoughts quickly become our beliefs when we reinforce them with our feelings. In turn, these beliefs become our reality. They can affect us profoundly in so many ways and drive the things we do.

You might be left wondering, is there a way to alter your perception? Can you possibly train your mind to think differently? The answer might surprise you.

I’m Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to another exciting episode of “A Dose of Dr. Debi.” Today, we will be discussing how you can be intentional when making conclusions about yourself and your life.

In This Episode * Understand how you become what you think * Find out what your beliefs are and how your environment shaped them * Learn how you can rewire your beliefs and create new realities

Transcription

Hi there, Dr. Debi here with A Dose of Dr. Debi. So today I want to talk about beliefs and here's why. I had a conversation with one of our members in The PBT Institute just yesterday, and she was talking about having this great sense of unworthiness. It’s been plaguing her whole life and she's in her 50s. For the last 50 something years, she's always felt unworthy, and she's wondering if she could ever change how she feels. The answer is absolutely 100%, yes you can. But first, we need to look at our beliefs. Here's the thing, your beliefs are no more than the repetition of an idea from someone you trust. Someone that you trusted (a parent, teacher, someone in a religious capacity) said something to you enough times, and it became your belief.

You may have taken it on and kept repeating it to yourself when they stopped saying it. It doesn't make it good or bad. It doesn't make it right or wrong. It doesn't make it true, but it makes it yours. And once these beliefs are laid down, we don't question them. But what happens is, it doesn't start as a belief. It starts as a thought, and the meaning we give to something fuels it and can turn it into a belief that serves us or not.

These beliefs are formed from something mild to something traumatic. I'm going to give you an example of something that could have been mild, but can be turned into something that can play you your whole life until you're aware of it. Let's say you're a little kid and you had some earth-shattering news to share with your mom. You race into the kitchen and she's on the phone, so she “shushes” you. For her, it didn't mean anything. But at that moment you could have made that to mean, “I don't matter.” And then you know what you do? You take that thought, and then you feed it. You fuel it with some emotion, you put some feeling behind it. You keep thinking about it over and over — you add more feeling, more emotion, and your mind wants to prove you right. So when you've done that enough times, your mind thinks: “Oh I didn't realize you wanted to keep this going. No worries, I'll just stick this in your subconscious and keep it running as a subconscious program. You go about your business.”

Now we have between 60 to 80,000 thoughts a day. The majority of them are negative. If you have some version of, “I don't matter,” or “I'm not worthy,” running as a subconscious program throughout your day, can you see how that's going to show up? It shows up in what you do, in what you say, how you act, how you interact, how you react, what you wear, and what you eat and all of it. And what happens is the longer we do that, it becomes who we are. Then we will constantly find confirming evidence to support it. We have relationships that support it, we make decisions that support it and it becomes who we are.

So what I wanted to give to you today was a way to see what's under the hood here. What are these subconscious beliefs and behaviors that may be holding you back? Because it's not what you consciously think; these are subconscious beliefs and behaviors that are driving every single thing you do. If you’ve ever seen a picture of an iceberg, only about 10% is above the surface, 90% is below. What's wrecking the ship, if you were to crash into it, it's not the 10% above, it's that 90% below. What's taking you off course from where you want to be is that 90% below.

Here's something I want you to write down:

I'm so…

I can't…

I'll never…

When you have some time, free flow that and see what shows up. Whatever shows up, those are your limiting beliefs. Once you've done that, find the one that gives you the biggest emotional charge, like maybe you wrote, “I'm so lazy”, or “I'll never get out of debt,” whatever it is for you. The one that really gives you that charge, encircle it. So now you know that's the biggest one you want to work on.

The next step would be this. Some people like affirmations, I kind of have a little bit of an issue with some of the affirmations that people are saying because here's what happens. If your mind can't grab hold of it, it will just kick it out. For example, there's a 300-pound woman, and she says, “I'm a lean, mean fighting machine,” and then her mind is like “No you're not”, and kicks the thought right out. But let's just say it's true that that 300-pound woman is eating healthier every day. Every time she says “I'm so fat,” when she gets dressed, “I'm so fat,” when she sees herself in the mirror, “I'm so fat”. Whenever she can catch herself thinking “I'm so fat”, what if instead, she says: “Wait a second, I'm eating healthier every day. I'm eating healthier every day.” If she were to just say the opposite of “I’m a lean mean fighting machine”, then her mind thinks: “No you're not.” But if she catches herself (and she's only going to catch herself a fraction of the time) — but if she catches herself when she says: “I'm so fat. Wait a second. I'm eating healthier every day. I'm eating healthier every day.”

What happens there is, you start laying down these tracks in your brain when you repeat something over and over and over and over. If every time she catches herself saying; “I'm so fat” and she says instead: “Wait a second. I'm eating healthier every day. I'm eating healthier every day. I'm eating healthier every day.” What's happening is that she's forming and creating a new neural track, a new belief. Over time, the old “I'm so fat” loses its charge as the new belief starts to take over. She's laying down a new track and then from there, “I’m eating healthier every day” becomes the new belief until she can do the next one. I call those bridges, and we do that within The PBT Institute and it works beautifully for people. If you can't come up with something for the one that gave you the greatest charge, here’s another idea. Let’s say the one with the biggest emotional charge was, “I'll never get out of debt.”

You insert possibility. That can be your bridge, and it would sound something like this. When you find yourself thinking: “I'll never get out of debt,” you say: “What if I can?” You didn't say, “I'm rich,” which the mind would have a hard time grabbing onto. What you did instead was you inserted possibility. So if that bill comes in and it triggers: “I'll never get out of debt,” what if you insisted and you reminded yourself to say: “What if I can?” “What if I can?” “What if I can?” “Wait a second, what if I can?” Do you see? With repetition and consistency, the old belief of “I'll never get out of debt” loses its charge. The bridge of possibility “What if I can?” takes over and you're laying down a new track.

Now, how do you know what your beliefs are? You can write those things down that I said earlier:

I'm so...

I can't...

I'll never...

Take a look around your environment. Everything you have right now is a living breathing example of the beliefs you have. Your beliefs took you right here to where you are. It's a representation of the beliefs you hold. So, if you want something very different, it's going to take a new set of beliefs. It has to be intentional. It has to be on purpose. This doesn't happen. Just as if you don't have muscles, and all of a sudden, you want to have this very different physique. You're going to have to work out at the gym and create a new workout routine. You need a different mind routine. So with repetition and consistency, you're going to have to be ruthless every time that old belief comes up. You're going to have to insert that belief.

You can wear a rubber band around your wrist, and every time you say the old belief, you snap it. Not to hurt you, but to remind you to insert that new bridge. Here's what I recommend. Write down:

I'm so…

I can't…

I'll never…

Do a brain dump of everything that shows up.

Encircle the one that gives you the greatest emotional charge.

From there, create that bridge — that believable statement you can insert and hang on to long enough so that the old belief loses its charge.

The new bridge takes over and becomes the new belief until you can create something new.

That's it for today. So with that please subscribe, rate, review, and if you would like a chapter of Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness which is my book which walks you through the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough, teaches the four-step trust rebuilding process, my very vulnerable stories in there, all of it. If you just want to sample it just to see, what you're going to do is click here and it's yours. If you want the book and great bonuses, you can get that here.

Please tell everybody you know about the show if this would serve them, The from Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast, A Dose of Dr. Debi. I'll see you next time. Bye.

Resources Mentioned

PBT PodcastsPost Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness
Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

Like betrayal, divorce can be a harrowing experience. It can cause emotional distress to victims and leave them feeling unworthy of love. Karen Millon knows this all too well, having gone through a divorce herself.

In this new and inspiring episode of From Betrayal To Breakthrough, Karen shares how Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) treatment has helped her deal with her trauma and a deep-rooted need to feel loved.

About Guest/Topic

Karen Million is a successful entrepreneur with over 22 years of business experience. When her marriage of 13 years ended, she focused on grieving and healing.

Karen underwent EMDR Treatment and she is on a mission to help others recover just like she did. She is the author of “An Amazing Divorce: What you can do for yourself, for each other and for the Children.”

In This Episode

Who is Karen Millon? [0:12]
Learn about the turning point in Karen’s life that made her decide to end her unhappy marriage [3:04]
Understand Karen’s healing and grieving process [6:00]
Find out all about Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) treatment [12:35]
Understand the different types of trauma [13:16]
…and many more.

Quotes

“When we lose someone, we go through the mourning period—the shiva. Whatever we go through, you honor the grieving process. You dress like you’re sad. You cry your eyes out.” [7:01]

“It’s really worth it. I mean, it’s short-term pain for long-term gain. It starts for 4 hours, you’re going through and revisiting that terrible memory or that deep sadness that you felt. But the glory and the healing and the feeling that you are worthy, the feeling that you are loveable, the things that you can do after is worth every penny and it’s worth every tear and every heartache.” [27:00]

“This is not about blaming our parents or blaming our caregivers. You know, I truly believe that people do their best as bad as it could be, just given their situation. It’s about taking ownership of you, of who you want to be, of how you want to live the rest of your life.” [28:16]

“By having bilateral stimulation, so either you tap your shoulders—they do it online now with Zoom—back and forth or there are machines they tap you in your legs back and forth, or a therapist might go like that to you, or you’re writing in your journal. Somehow, that stimulation allows you to access that emotional part of your brain.” [17:27]

Resources Mentioned

Karen Millon - Instagram

Healin with Karen

The Work - Byron Katie

PBT Podcasts

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

Trust is a crucial aspect of any relationship and having someone—such as a family member, loved one, or friend—shatter it can leave the victim completely heartbroken and devastated.

But is there a way to heal from the pain? Can trust that has been broken be rebuilt? Is it possible for someone to get close to you and your heart again?

I am Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi.

Today, we will be discussing how to regain confidence in yourself and others, and learn what it takes to feel safe, trust, and love again.

In This Episode * Understand what happens when trust is broken * Discover the 4-step trust rebuilding process * Find out how you can learn to trust again

Transcription

Hi there, Dr. Debi here, another Dose of Dr. Debi. So today I wanted to talk about trust, and if you have trust issues, I get it. The shattering of trust is so foundational. It rocks you to your core. It shatters your sense of safety and security. So if you're wondering why is this affecting you so much? Why is it hitting you so hard? That's why. The very person or the very people who gave you that sense of safety and security could be the very ones to shatter it and take it away. It's devastating, and it leaves us with trust issues until we heal them.

What so often happens is, trust is shattered, and we're so uncomfortable with that feeling. We just want it to go away so we're like, "Forget it, I'll just trust that person again." And we wonder why it backfires and we wonder why we, we are struggling with this whole idea of trust.

I have a four-step trust rebuilding process. Of course, in the book Trust Again, I go through it in much greater detail, but I wanted to share it with you because I think this could help get you started with trusting again.

So, the trust rebuilding process is four levels. When trust is shattered. A few things happen. Obviously, we don't trust the person who was lying, deceiving, we don't trust them. But we don't trust ourselves either, because we think things like: "I’m a bright person why did I not see? How did I not know? How could this go on right under my nose?" We have all of these questions, and because trust is so foundational, it shatters the very foundation, so it has to be rebuilt from the foundation. So, the way to build trust with a rock-solid foundation, you would need to start by rebuilding that very foundation. To do that starts with something as simple as something that you are so sure about. Something that you could be so sure about is how we start rebuilding level 1.

I'm talking about something as simple as "Will the sun rise?" And every morning you check, "Will the sun rise? I don't know. I don't believe it." You look up into the sky and sure enough, there it is. Maybe you still don’t feel you can count on that so you check again. Sure enough, there it is. And you see it. You do that enough times until you can feel really comfortable and confident in knowing that yes, the sun will rise.

Now you have a foundation to stand on. From that space, you need to learn to trust in your wise inner guide, in your intuition, in your gut. What happens is, you get that gut feeling that something doesn't feel right, but your mind talks out of it. So we have to learn, again, to trust the gut.

I had a mentor once who said that your gut is 10,000 times more perceptive than your mind. But we listen to the mind and it’s like this unruly 10-year-old who is just making all kinds of demands, who doesn't know better, but because it's carrying on, we listen. Our intuition will never speak to us that way. It speaks in a soft, gentle way. You know when you get that feeling that knowing but we turn it down? We don't trust it, we don't listen, but we need to strengthen that again.

So how do you do that? You want to get a sense of what trust feels like for you and it's different for everybody. So, choose something that feels like trust, and real, and truth to you. Maybe two babies laughing, a dog wagging his or her tail. What is it for you? What does that feel like? What does trust feel like for you? How does it feel in your body? Open, expansive, loving? Whatever it is, remember that feeling, because that's what trust feels like for you.

On the other hand, what does a lack of trust feel like for you? What does deception, feel like for you? Get that felt sense where do you feel that in your body. Does it feel tight? Does it feel close, constricted? How does it feel? Think of D-Day (discovery day) or whatever it is for you where you felt that feeling of what a lack of trust feels like. How did it feel? That's what a lack of trust feels like for you.

So now you know what trust feels like, and you know what a lack of trust feels like. So, when you're going about your day, and you're speaking with someone, which feeling are you getting? When someone is telling the truth, everything is aligned. The thoughts, behaviors, actions, the mannerisms, what they're saying, feeling, the energy being sent, is all aligned, is all congruent. But, have you ever noticed those people where they're saying something, but you're getting a very different energy? Maybe the words are okay, but the energy, the body language the mannerisms don't match? It's incongruent. Maybe they’re smiling, but their eyes aren't smiling. It's not like a Botox thing, it's like a weird creepy thing. Trust that. Everything needs to be congruent.

So, now you know what trust feels like and you know what a lack of trust feels like. You're strengthening your wise inner guide, you're strengthening your intuition. That would be the second level. If you've strengthened the very foundation, so you know you have something to stand on, then you strengthen your intuition, your wise inner guide, now from there you go to the third level. The third level is rebuilding trust in yourself.

You need to rebuild trust in yourself because after the shattering of trust, after betrayal you don't trust your own decisions, you don't trust your own judgment, you don't trust yourself. So you need to learn how to do that again. So to do that you give yourself little tasks, and little things to do and you do it. I'm going to drink that glass of water and then you do. I'm going to make that phone call and then you do. I'm going to go to sleep 10 minutes earlier and then you do. I'm going to work out today and then you do. I will not call my ex and then you don't. Whatever it is, you're learning and you're teaching yourself that your word is law. If you say something, you mean it. You trust yourself. So when you say something. That's the rule.

So think about it. Now you have a foundation to stand on. You trust your gut. You know what truth feels like you know what a lack of truth feels like. You trust what your gut is telling you. Now you trust yourself, you could feel that sense of safety and security, it's almost like you have these invisible bodyguards around you.

Only from that space do you now carefully and cautiously trust in others. Do you see how when you do it this way you have a bit of a base? You have some safety and security around you. But what we often do is we don't do those other three levels, we just want to go back to trusting the very person who hurt us, and we wonder why we don't feel safe. That's one of the reasons why it doesn’t work.

I look at trust like a brick wall. And that brick wall can take decades to build the only way I know it can be built is brick by brick by brick. Every opportunity someone has to show that they're trustworthy represents a brick in that wall. Then in that one earth-shattering moment or series of moments (death by 1000 cuts), many lies, whatever it is, the wall is completely taken down. So that's why people ask me can trust be repaired? I don't think so. Can it be rebuilt? Yes, it can. But the only way it can be rebuilt is the same way it went up the first time, brick by brick by brick. So that's why it takes time. That's why trust is sacred and precious. And that's why we take such a hit when it's shattered. But here's what also happens. We just want to be okay with that person again because this feels so awkward or uncomfortable.

Let's say, the betrayer, or the person who shattered trust, they broke that brick wall. And then, we're the ones who were affected by it and then we say the equivalent of "It's okay, I'll rebuild it." What's that about? No, trust is a process. Trust is sacred. To build trust, it's intentional; to rebuild trust, that takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of work for the person, whose trust was shattered to be willing to allow for that other person (if they're willing if they want to). You can look at the pile of bricks and say: I don't have the least bit of interest in watching that thing get rebuilt and walk away. If you want to stick around to watch that be rebuilt, however, you have to be willing, and the other person has to be a really good bricklayer.

Every opportunity showing that they're trustworthy represents one brick in the wall and it’s going to take time to rebuild. So, that's the four-step trust rebuilding process I go through, it's so much deeper in Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence, and Happiness. If you want to just try, just download a chapter, you can do that too by clicking right here. What I'm going to do is give you a free chapter so you get a sense of what the book is like, and then if it resonates with you, you can always grab the book. The whole idea in the book is I go into so much more detail of that four-step trust rebuilding process, the five stages of betrayal to breakthrough with experiential activities, moving you through the five stages, you have all of my study participants' stories in there. So, this way you can see who you resonate with my stories in there. And, and this way you see you're not alone. You're not crazy, you can heal from all of it.

If you're enjoying the show, I hope you are, subscribe, rate and review. And please tell anybody who could benefit to join us. So here we are A Dose of Dr. Debi, as part of the From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast. I'll see you next time. Bye.

Resources Mentioned

PBT PodcastsPost Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness
Trust Again Free Gift

View Details

Betrayal can manifest itself through physical, mental, and emotional symptoms. When these symptoms manifest, it can feel like a dark cloud of negative emotion is hovering over you. One of the many ways to release negative feelings and lift your spirits is by incorporating essential oils into your daily life. Just ask Jodi Cohen.

In this episode, Jodi shares the many uses and benefits of essential oils. She also delves into how this practice changed her life—from reducing her anxieties and finding relief from her physical ailments to rediscovering her passion for running and, finally, becoming more productive.

About Guest/Topic

Jodi Cohen is a bestselling author, an award-winning journalist, and the founder of Vibrant Blue Oils, an online resource for essential oils frequented by over 500,000 people yearly.

Jodi managed to recover from her anxiety, insomnia, and autoimmune condition with the help of essential oils. Now, she's helping thousands of people rebalance their health through her proprietary blends of organic and wild-crafted essential oils.

In This Episode

Who is Jodi Cohen? [0:12]
Understand what goes in the body when we are stressed [2:22]
Realize how breathing can make a difference in our well-being [9:39]
Determine effective ways to assimilate oils into the brain [12:40]
Find out the importance of using pure essential oils [19:03]
Discover what symptoms cleared up for Jodi by using essential oils [20:49]
Learn about muscle testing [25:03]
…and many more

Quotes

“When we are in a situation with betrayal or something going on that is triggering that danger response in our body, and so it shifts us physiologically into that sympathetic fight or flight state where you feel like you have limited options, your back is against the wall.” [5:36]

“I got five oils which was confusing cause normally I’ll get like one or two and then it occurred to me that I can combine them and so I took each bottle and kinda muscle tested. Okay, 6 drops of this, 5 drops of this, and I put them together, and I put them in my lower back and my first thought was I can go running.” [23:43]

“We know that our body is communicating with us, but sometimes we just forget to listen to it. So, there is a way of asking your body often yes-no questions so you can get more clarity about what is kinda the primary issue.” [25:34]

“The greatest gift I gave myself was just because I don’t understand something doesn’t mean it is not true, and it always left me with curiosity.” [29:44]

“You can shift gears and you can make that so much easier for yourself. And by doing deep breathing, by trying to go to gratitude which sends different, you know, chemical signals in your body, by using essential oils, there are a lot of ways that you can shift gears and it’s a really good first step.” [30:31]

Resources Mentioned

Vibrant Blue Oils

Boost The Brain

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Podcasts

The PBT Institute Membership Community

View Details

Betrayal can bring such deep pain and lingering turmoil to someone who experiences it. The whole ordeal can be incredibly traumatic, affecting victims in more ways than one. The physical, mental, and emotional toll from betrayal can leave one exhausted and desperate for normalcy.

I am Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to A Dose of Dr. Debi.

Today, I will delve into the life-altering mess of betrayal trauma. We will take the time to identify its possible manifestations, so you can better understand your healing journey.

In This Episode

A discussion on the collection of symptoms that is common to betrayal
Findings from the Post Betrayal Syndrome quiz
An overview on healing from betrayal

Transcription

Hi there, Dr. Debi here and welcome to A Dose of Dr. Debi. In the first episode, I talked about the three discoveries that were made in my study, which were about betrayal. The first was that healing from betrayal is very different than healing from other life crises like the death of a loved one, disease, natural disaster, so it needed its own name, which is now called Post Betrayal Transformation.

The second discovery was that there's this collection of symptoms so common to betrayal it's known as Post Betrayal Syndrome.

The third discovery was that while we can stay stuck forever if we're going to heal--if we're going to fully heal, we're going, (and go from that place of Post Betrayal Syndrome to that place of Post Betrayal Transformation), we're going to go through five proven predictable Stages.

So I went through that, in the first episode. Last time I went through those five Stages so this way you can see exactly where you land. And hopefully, that was, inspirational, on some level because you understand that you're stuck, possibly, most likely in Stage three, which is the most common place to get stuck. But, now you realize, “Wow, there's a reason for it.” And better news, there’s a reason out of it. So today what I wanted to do is dive into the Post Betrayal Syndrome quiz, and this way, you'll see what's so common to betrayal. This way if you have these symptoms, you're going to realize, (as you'll hear me say over and over), you're not crazy, you're not alone and you can heal from all of it.

So, just to back up a little bit, that with that other discovery of that there is this collection of symptoms (physical, mental, and emotional), so common to betrayal, it is known as now as Post Betrayal Syndrome. We've had over 18,000 people (at the time of this recording), take the Post Betrayal Syndrome quiz to see to what extent they're struggling, you can find that at https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz/. But besides asking all these different symptoms, so people can really get a sense of where they're at and what's left in the wake of their experience, there's a question that reads; “Is there anything else you'd like to share? People write so many things. You know we've all heard “time heals all wounds” and I shared this last time. That's not true, not when it comes to betrayal. People are saying in the quiz how their betrayal happened 20 years ago, 30 years ago, 40 years ago, and they still feel it, they're still reeling from the effects of it, they're still feeling that anger, that frustration that—that heartbreak, that—that grief, that pain. So, betrayal is one of those types of crises that you can't just count on time to help you. Time can soften it a bit, but we truly and heal fully heal when we “face it, feel it, heal it” and that's all we do within the PBT Institute community (https://thepbtinstitute.com) which I'll share with you another time. For now, what I wanted to do was share with you some of the symptoms.

Every few months, I pull the stats from the quiz, just to see what's happening there. So I want to read them—some of them to you, so you can really see what goes on after an experience with betrayal of a family member, partner, friend, coworker, self. Okay, so see if you have any of these symptoms, and this is, this is out of 18,000 people.

78% constantly revisit their experience. Think about how exhausting that is to go over and over and over and over and over it again. We need to do this in the beginning and that's called rumination. You want to make sense out of it, but at some point, you go from ruminating to marinating, you don’t want to stay in there way too long. You know you're in there too long if you've gone over it endlessly coming out of it, no better than the 100,000 times you've gone over it already.

81% feel a loss of personal power. 80% are hyper-vigilant. That means your nervous system is always on edge you're checking phones, etc., you're constantly looking, searching, you never feel comfortable, never feeling safe.

94% deal with painful triggers, and I know how those can take you down because that was the experience with me, as well as so many people that have moved through betrayal and you can—you can heal from those triggers.

64% say they struggle emotionally, I want to read you some of the most common physical symptoms now.

71% have low energy, 68% have sleep issues. I know nighttime is the worst time because you can distract yourself during the day with some of the things you need to do, work, kids, whatever, but at night, it comes crashing down on you hard.

63% extreme fatigue, so you can sleep the whole night, wake up, and you're just as exhausted.

47% have weight changes. Weight may go down at the very beginning right after your experience. You may not be able to get any food down or keep food down. But then, as a way to cope, you may be doing some emotional eating and gain weight.

45% have digestive issues so that could be anything from irritable bowel, Crohn's, it could be, diarrhea, constipation, .etc. You know what's so interesting about digestive issues too, is this. You may have heard your gut as your second brain. Think about what the digestive system does; it absorbs, processes, and digests food. Well, it's a betrayal difficult to absorb, digest, and process? Is it any wonder why the gut is off?

So now imagine you're walking around with one of those symptoms, these are some of the most common mental symptoms. 78% are overwhelmed, 70% walking around in a state of disbelief, 68% are unable to focus, 64% are in shock, 62% are unable to concentrate.

So imagine having let's say a gut issue and brain fog, and here you are trying to manage your family and your work and all your other obligations you have throughout the day.

That's not even the emotional symptoms, ready?

88% experience extreme sadness, 83% anger. Now, when you just mix sadness and anger and you're going back and forth between those two, having no other symptoms. That's exhausting. So now add to it, let's say, a gut issue, extreme fatigue, and brain fog. Do you see why you may be struggling? 82% feel hurt, 80% have anxiety 79%—

This is why I wrote the book Trust Again: https://thepbtinstitute.com/trustagain.

84% have an inability to trust, 67% are preventing themselves from forming deep relationships because they're afraid of being hurt again. 82% find it hard to move forward 90% want to move forward, but they don't know how.

Did you find yourself in any one of those statistics? Like I said, and like you will hear me say betrayal is one of the most painful of the human experiences. This was the person, or these were the people who gave you that sense of safety and security, and now this is the person or these are the people, to shatter that sense of safety and security.

I write about it Trust Again, https://thepbtinstitute.com/trustagain. and this is the book that walks you through the five Stages of betrayal along with the four-step trust rebuilding process. Around 250 studies that were cited, something like that in the book, this was basically my PhD dissertation made reader-friendly. This isn't the kind of book you read, it's the kind of book you do. Anyway, it's all in there. I was mentioning the book because I talked about this analogy of a nest. Imagine here's this bird, who's building this nest for its inhabitants. Whoever or whatever is going to live in there. So, that bird is grabbing twigs and sticks and all kinds of things, (lovingly, I assume), to build this nest of safety to keep whoever or whatever is going to live in their safe and secure. Now imagine the bird who built that nest is the very one to shatter it. There are only two options here for those little chicks that are living in there. What are the only two options? You survive that or you perish.

Well, the beauty of what you're going to learn here, and everything we teach you within the PBT community https://thepbtinstitute.com is not only surviving your experience but since you've been through it, why not transform as a result? So, the symptoms are also common. But what happens is because they're so uncomfortable, we either tried to numb the symptoms or mask the symptoms. And you may be going to the most wonderful health experts, doctors, healers, or coaches to manage the symptoms. But at the root of it is that is an unhealed betrayal. You may be trying to mask it on your own, where you're just using food or drugs or alcohol or work or TV you're thinking: “This is just way too big. I don't have the time, I just have to get through my day.” So you're finding these ways to manage your symptoms, but you're not healing from your betrayal. So, if at the very root is this betrayal and all you're doing is finding all these different things to manage the symptoms. That's like symptom relief, but at the root of it, it’s not being healed, that's what needs to be healed and when that is, all of those other things heal. When you heal from your betrayal, that’s what happens is you—.

You know how I talked about the “small self” benefits that you get? You get your story, you get to be right, you get someone to blame you get a target for your anger, you get all those things. Well, when you let go of that story, you get a way better story! You get to be the victor, instead of being a victim. You get to be the hero or the heroine of your story, you get to be a role model, you get to improve your immune system.

Your immune system is like an internal army when it's strong, it's, it's like this army is protecting its borders. When it's weakened, it’s as if the army is fast asleep and invaders get through. When you're under this kind of stress, invaders get through. So when it comes to your gut, (the good stuff), you may be eating the most wonderful diet there is, but the gut lining is loosening up so that it's called leaky gut. And what's happening is the good stuff doesn't get to stay in. The good stuff goes out the bad stuff comes in. So you're at risk of all kinds of gut issues and now you also have accelerated aging, you're gaining weight. One of the things that cortisol will do (cortisol is a stress hormone), when things are working well everything's going fine, then you eat, the nutrients are being stored and utilized appropriately. But when you're under stress, fat acts as if: “Oh, I see you're busy, instead of me going where I need to go I'm just gonna store myself right here, (usually in your belly), and I'm gonna be here for you when you need it.” And so if you notice, you're like, “Where did this gut come from?” It could be because of the betrayal. So here's the thing too. You've, you've been through so much already. And now to make yourself sick on top of it to be dealing with symptoms, illness, condition, disease, on top of it, because of this unhealed betrayal that's keeping the stress response going. That's not fair to you. It's just not.

So we're going to keep going with all of this, I'm going to give you tips, tools, solutions, and strategies to heal from all of it. So what I recommend right now is, if you haven't taken the quiz. The Post Betrayal Syndrome quiz that may be a next best move for you, you can just find that at https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz. So do that for now, and this way you can see, those symptoms and you may realize: “Oh wow, I thought it was just aging I thought it was just stress, etc.” No, it's because of your betrayal. But either way, we're going to heal from all of it, I gotcha. So we'll see you next time and thanks so much, have a great day.

Resources Mentioned

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Membership Community

Trust Again

View Details

Many victims of betrayal fall into the trap of codependency, which can lead to people-pleasing, anxiety, illness, and unhealthy relationships. How do we escape this pit of despair? Ande Anderson knows the way.

In this episode, Ande Anderson explores the link between childhood trauma and codependency and delves deep into how we can bounce back, learn self-love, and foster loving relationships.

About Guest/Topic

Ande Anderson, MS, RD is the co-owner of Avaiya University, with her partner Ike Allen.

They have created over a thousand transformational books, films, seminars, and other resources on codependency, childhood trauma, abandonment, betrayal, depression, and loneliness.

Ande is passionate about helping others heal from their past traumas, so they can discover self-love, cultivate healthy relationships, and ultimately, live extraordinary lives.

In This Episode

Discover where codependency begins
Recognize codependency and how it manifests itself
Learn how we are affected by co-dependency and where it leads to
Find out what we can do about it

Quotes

“Fear is the beginning of so many dysfunctional behaviors, whether it is co-dependency or addiction, betrayal, or what have you. Fear underlies so many things that aren’t ideal in our lives. And I think a lot of these fears go back to your childhood.” [08:09]

“Controlling is one of the core characteristics of codependency because once again we don’t want to be abandoned. We don’t want people to leave. We want to feel good enough. We want to get that validation, so we try to control others to get these needs met.” [16:09]

“Maybe you’ve been driving in the road for a few minutes and you’re having these catastrophic thoughts, but when you become aware of it, ask yourself, ‘Am I in reality right now or am I in La-la Land? Am I in my imagination? Where am I right now?’ Just simple. Catch yourself. In those moments, try to re-presence yourself to what’s happening.” [20:54]

“Develop a relationship with yourself. Start talking to yourself. Communicate through words. You can even say it out loud if you want to, “You know what Ande, I got it. I get right now that you are just terrified of being abandoned and you know what, I understand. I know why you feel that way. And it’s okay. It’s okay to feel bad.” Always validating and saying “It’s okay and I want you to know you are not alone. I’m not gonna abandon you.” [24:46]

“Anything that makes us more compassionate to ourselves and be a loving parent to ourselves is where all the gold is.” [25:50]

“Just get that even if right now this conversation is uncomfortable, this conversation is bringing up those fears of abandonment and not being good enough, and you’re really becoming aware of tough things, I just want you to know that your new normal will change. You have the opportunity to change it to something amazing.” [29:34]

Resources Mentioned

Ande Anderson's Website

PBT Podcasts

The PBT Institute Membership Community
The Post Betrayal Syndrome quiz

View Details

The pain of betrayal is so heart-wrenching that we are often left dazed and confused as to how to work through all the hurt and move forward. You may find yourself wondering—am I moving in the right direction to get past the trauma that I’ve experienced or am I stuck and will this treachery always leave me vulnerable?

Dealing with this internal turmoil comes with many challenges. And to rise above it entails knowing where we stand and what is in store for us.

I am Dr. Debi Silber, and welcome to A Dose of Dr. Debi. Today, I am incredibly pleased to share a road map that can significantly help in your learning and healing journey.

In This Episode

A brief recollection of the discoveries I made when studying betrayal
A discussion on the proven stages of betrayal trauma and recovery
A look into what happens physically, mentally, and emotionally at these stages

Transcription

Hi there, welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi I'm Debi Silber. So, in the last episode, I was talking about the three discoveries that were made in my Ph.D. study. One was that healing from betrayal is very different than healing from other life crises like the death of a loved one, disease, natural disaster, so it needed its own name, which is now called Post Betrayal Transformation.

Why is it different? It's different because betrayal feels so intentional, we take it so personally so the entire self has to be rebuilt; rejection, abandonment, belonging, confidence, worthiness, and trust all need to be rebuilt. When they are, you are in a complete and total state that is different from where you were before, and that state is called Post Betrayal Transformation.

The second discovery was that there's this collection of symptoms (physical, mental and emotional), so common to betrayal is known as Post Betrayal Syndrome. We have that quiz on the site https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz/ to see to what extent people are struggling. We've had over 18,000 people take it at this point and it's staggering to see the symptoms left in the wake of this type of experience, but you can heal from all of it. If you're interested in that quiz you can find it at: https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz/ .

The third discovery, and that's what I want to talk about today, is that while we can stay stuck (and so many of us do), for years, decades, even a lifetime, if we're going to fully heal, (we're going to, going from that place of Post Betrayal Syndrome to that place of Post Betrayal Transformation), we're going to go through five now proven predictable stages. What's really exciting about that is, we know what happens physically, mentally, emotionally at every one of those stages, and we know what it takes to move from one stage to the next. What makes that so great because now healing is predictable there's a roadmap.

What I'd like to do today is go through those five stages, And what I invite you to do is see where you land. Now before I go into that though, I want to just talk about how betrayal has so many faces. So, here are a few. So a very common one is infidelity, right. And when I talk about betrayal, it's really the breaking of a spoken or unspoken rule. Every relationship has them. So in a marriage, the rule is that we're going to be faithful to one another, and when that's not the case, that's a betrayal. It could be your coworker taking credit for your idea. The rule was you were going to present something, let's say to the boss together, they go ahead on their own and do it. Well, that's a betrayal. It could be that you and your best friend have an unspoken rule; “Your secret's safe with me.” And then all of a sudden, they tell your secret and they break that that sacred trust.

The way it works is, the more we trust, and the more we depend on that person, the deeper the betrayal. So for example, a child who's completely dependent on that parent and the parent does something awful, that's going to have a deeper and bigger impact than let's say your coworker taking credit for your idea. Not to say that that doesn't hurt you, but the different magnitude and level of cleanup, that's needed after something like that. So I want to go through the five stages and pay attention to see which Stage you're in.

Now, this is what's so interesting because you may be saying; “Well my betrayal happened, years ago,” watch how even though it happened years ago, most likely, you're stuck in the most common Stage, which is Stage three. And here's the thing too. These don't necessarily have to be the gigantic betrayals, it could be what we call “death by 1000 cuts”. It could be the; “Oh it's no big deal, betrayal,” oh, yes it is. It's a big deal to you, so just pay attention to where you land.

So the first stage is like a setup stage and if you can imagine four legs of a table, the four legs being physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, what I saw with every single study participant, me too, was a real heavy lean on two legs and neglecting the other so which legs were those? We’re leaning on the physical and mental and kind of neglecting the emotional and the spiritual. So what does that look like? It looks like we're really good at thinking and doing and not really paying as much attention to the feeling and being. Why is that important? Because it's in the feeling and being where our intuition lies, and we turn that down. We turn that down because we're so busy, and the only way we can get things done is if we become almost machine-like so we can get things done throughout the day. That's not saying that if you're busy, it's a setup for betrayal, it's just what I consistently saw.

Stage two, by far, hands down the scariest of all of the stages, this is D-Day, discovery day. This is the shock to the body in mind. This is where it feels like that person takes a mask off saying; “This is who I've been this whole time.” It is a complete and total shock, and it's the breakdown of the body, the mind, and the worldview. The minute you’re shocked like that you've ignited the stress response. So now you're headed for just about every single stress-related symptom, illness, condition, and disease. Your mind is in a complete state of chaos and overwhelm — you cannot wrap your mind around what you just learned, this makes no sense. And your worldview is shattered. Your worldview is your mental model (these are the rules, this is how it works, don't go there, you can trust this person, etc.). In one moment, or series of moments, your entire worldview has just shattered. The bottom has bottomed out on you. And, a new bottom hasn't been constructed yet so it's terrifying. But think about it; if you were walking down the street, and the bottom were to bottom out on you, what would you do? You would grab hold of anything and everything you could to stay safe and stay alive and that Stage three, survival instincts emerge.

It's the most practical of all of the stages; “How will I survive this experience?” “If you can help me get out of my way.” “Where do I live, what do I, what do I do, how do I feed my kids?” “Who can I trust?” It's that practical. Here's the trap. Because Stage three, feels so much better than the shock and trauma of where you just came from, you're like; “Whew! Okay.” You start planting roots here. You're not meant to be here long, but you have no idea there's a Stage four and Stage five waiting. So in your mind, you're thinking; “I’d better find a way to make this work now.” Now a few things start happening.

The longer you stay, the harder it is to leave because the first thing that happens is you start getting these “small self” benefits from being here. You get to be right, you get a target for your anger, you get someone to blame. You get sympathy from everybody you tell your story to, you get a very powerful story, you get to be right. You don't have to do the hard work of learning to trust again; “Should I trust you? Should I just you? Forget it. I won't trust anybody.” You see, you start planting roots, the longer you’re there.

Now, the mind starts doing things like; “Well, maybe you're not all that, maybe you deserved it.” See? The mind starts playing some tricky games with you. Planting deeper roots. Now, because “like energy attracts like energy,” now you're calling situations and circumstances and people towards you to confirm that this is where you belong! It gets worse. (I'll get you out of it, don't worry). Because you don't like it, you don't feel good here at all, you don't like the people coming towards you, you don't like what your mind is doing, you don't even like the story you're telling, it feels bad, but you have no idea there's a way out, and you don't know Stage four and Stage five (transformation hasn't even happened yet which happens in Stages four and Stage five). Because you don't even know that, here's where you start using things like food, drugs, alcohol, work, tv, keeping busy, reckless behavior. And now think about it. You do that for a day, a week, a month. Now it's a habit, a year, Five years 10 years 20 years….

I can see someone 20 years out and say; “You know that emotional eating, or that drinking, or that numbing in front of the TV? Do you think that has anything to do with your betrayal?” They would say; “Oh my gosh, that happened years ago!” But do you see? They've put themselves in this perpetual holding pattern since that day!

If you're willing to let go of your story, grieve, mourn the loss, a bunch of other things you need to do, you can move to Stage four. Stage four is finding and adjusting to a new normal. Here's where you recognize; “I cannot undo this betrayal, but I can control what I do with it.” I always use that example. If you've ever moved to a new house, office, condo, apartment, whatever, all your stuff isn’t there, it's not quite cozy yet, but it's going to be okay. When you're in this space, mentally and emotionally, you're turning down the stress response. You're not physically healing just yet, but now you've stopped causing the massive damage you were causing in Stages two and Stage three. Here's what's so interesting about Stage four as well. If you were to move, you don't necessarily take everything with you. You don't take the things that don't represent who you want to be in that new space. And what I found so interesting to Stage four was that if your friends weren't there for you, they're not coming with you through this transformation.

People say to me all the time; “What the heck, I've had these friends for years, I feel like I don't belong. I feel like I don't fit. is it me?”Yes, it is. It's you because you're undergoing this transformation. You're making all kinds of new rules, new boundaries, reassessing who you want in your life, what kind of relationships you're willing to have and willing to tolerate. If it was one-sided where you were just giving and they were just taking, you're not having that anymore. You're changing.

Now, when you've settled into this space, you've made it your home, you've made it okay, you can move into the fifth most beautiful Stage, and this is healing, rebirth, and a new worldview. In this stage, the body starts to physically heal. You've turned down the stress response. So now you want to eat well you want to exercise, self-love, self-care is important to you now. You didn't have the bandwidth for any of that earlier — you were surviving. Now you do. Your mind starts to heal and you're making new rules new boundaries, based on the road you've just traveled. You have a new worldview, a new mental model based on your entire experience, based on everything you've learned and everything you've seen. Remember the four legs of the table? We were only all about the physical and the mental. By this point, were solidly grounded, because we're focused on the emotional and the spiritual too. Those are the five stages.

So here's what I invite you to do if you haven't already, it's all spelled out here in Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence, and Happiness. If you go to https://thepbtinstitute.com/trustagain/ , you can get the link to Amazon, but I want you to know that link because come on back, enter your receipt and I have all kinds of gifts for you. So this way you can you can enjoy the gifts, along with the book. You can get the book in hardcover, Kindle, and audible and read it. So this way, you'll hear my story, you'll, you'll go through the five Stages with all kinds of experiential activities, I have the four-step trust rebuilding process (which I'll be teaching you too). I have all of my study participants’ stories in there, so you can read what they've done.

When I did this study, I had to write that dissertation, it was about 500 hours of research and 250 studies, and then when you have this research committee, I just did a numbers game and I thought; “I can't justify all of that research and all of those hours, and only my research committee gets to read it?!” So I made it much more reader-friendly, and that's what Trust Again is, so you get the benefit of all that research. It's all in there. You'll see exactly why the symptoms you have are linked to betrayal, where they came from, why they're there. Most importantly, you’ll learn how to heal from it.

What I want to leave you with today is this; You're not crazy, you're not alone, and you can heal from all of it.

I truly look at betrayal as one of the most painful of human experiences, Like I said, this was the person, these were the people who said; “When all those other people are making you crazy, I got you, you're safe with me.” And when that's the very person who shatters that sense of safety and security it's terrifying. So, we got to, you're not alone. You're not crazy, and you can heal from all of it.

So, tune back in again next time, because I'm going to be giving you so many more tools, processes, strategies, solutions, so you can take your trauma, and turn it into transformation. Because when it just stays on you, you know, you were just the recipient of this, it's like a bad game of hot potato. No, no, no, we don't do it that way. The experience already happened, you've already experienced the worst of it, we're going to do something really good with it. So that's what's coming. Well thank you so much and I'll see you next time. Bye.

Resources Mentioned

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness.

View Details

We all strive for perfection, but in the process, we fall into the trap of being overly critical of ourselves. This can significantly affect the way we look at ourselves and others.

In this episode, Kerry Tepedino relates to feelings of not being good enough, having experienced them herself. She also talks about the defining moment in her life that helped her overcome her battle with an eating disorder and having low self-esteem. Finally, she shares insights on how we, too, can make lasting changes in our health and happiness.

About Guest/Topic

Kerry Tepedino is the CEO and Founder of the One Thought Away Project and a world-renowned personal development coach for women.

While battling her insecurities and lack of self-confidence, she delved into personal development, leadership, holistic health, nutrition, Ayurveda, yoga, meditation, and breathwork. With the Sacred Self System she devised, Kerry managed to turn her life around and help thousands of people across the globe by teaching mindset mastery, emotional intelligence, and self-love.

Prepare to be inspired as she shares her wonderful journey to self-transformation and imparts her knowledge in creating a life of happiness rooted in love and appreciation for one’s self.

In This Episode

Gain insights on how you can be intentional in transforming your life
Understand how you can create a better relationship with yourself
Learn how proper mentorship, community, and strategies can help with your personal development
Discover a method that will enable you to stop criticizing yourself
Be able to recognize your self-transformation success

Quotes

“The first step is really to get the right people around you that are going to hold you higher, that will help support your stay at the higher vibe of conversations like ‘What are you focused on?’” [01:20]

“Slow down enough to get intimate with yourself, to ask the bigger questions like ‘Who do I want to be as a woman I respect in the world?’ For you and me, maybe there are some men here as well… ‘What do I want my life to look like? And am I willing to do what it takes to make it happen?’” [9:42]

“The wheel has already been invented and so it’s really about finding who do you resonate with. Who has been in the journey that you are on and are at least two steps ahead of you and they can give you their solutions, I say, on a silver platter? And what you gotta do is you got to run with that, and run with those strategies.” [13:00]

“I was my greatest teacher. My pain was my greatest teacher.” [15:04]

“It doesn’t matter how deep the hole you dug yourself right now, how old you are, young you are, or overweight or skinny, rich or poor. Wherever you are at is perfect for this conversation. Wherever you’re at, you did not miss the boat. That’s what I would like you to know. You didn’t miss that boat of healing.” [26:26]

“Miracles do not happen to the lucky. It happens to those with a clear vision, who are committed to making this vision happen.” [34:22]

Resources Mentioned

The Women’s Total Transformational Summit

PBT Podcasts

The PBT Institute Membership Community

View Details

There’s just something about betrayal that cuts extra deep. Most of the time, we get caught up in the trauma too much that we’re left wondering what happens next.

Is there a way out of it? Is this something that we should just learn to accept and live with? Why do the effects of betrayal seem to stay with us even after a significant amount of time has passed?

I am Dr. Debi Silber, and I am excited to take you on this new weekly journey of healing and learning called A Dose of Dr. Debi.

In This Episode * A brief recollection of my experiences with betrayals * An overview of the three discoveries I made when studying betrayal * A brief introduction on what to expect from A Dose of Dr. Debi

Transcription

Welcome to a whole brand new series we're calling this A Dose of Dr. Debi. I'm Dr. Debi Silber and what I'm going to be doing is share with you, every Friday, tips, tools, strategies and solutions to help you heal physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually from the trauma of betrayal from a family member, partner, friend, co-worker, self.

Now you may be saying, Why am I sharing this, and how am I an expert in this. Well I'll tell you nobody studies betrayal that I know of, because they just liked the topic, you kind of need to, and that was the case with me.

This is my 30th year in business and I've been a health, mindset, personal development speaker, author, mentor, coach for years, and it was only because of my own betrayals; first from my family, and then years later from my husband, that everything changed. And if you've been betrayed by someone close to you, you know how painful it is. This was the person, or these were the people who gave you a sense of safety and security. So, when this is the person, or these are the people to shatter that sense of safety and security, it's devastating. And that was the case with me.

So when it came to the betrayal of my husband, I got him out of the house, and I was like okay I have four kids, six dogs, a thriving business. What am I going to do, and I looked at those two experiences and I said you know what's common to those two experiences? I realized I never took my own needs seriously, and boundaries were always getting crossed. I said, now it's my turn. I have no idea how I'm going to do this, but it's time. And I enrolled in a PhD program in transpersonal psychology, (the psychology of transformation in human potential) because I was changing and I didn't quite understand what was happening. He was changing on his own too but I wasn't ready to look at that. I was so interested in this type of study, I was so desperate to understand how the mind work. Why do people do these things, and most importantly, how can I heal from this?

While I was there I did a study. I studied betrayal; what holds us back, what helps us heal, and what happens to us (physically, mentally and emotionally) when the people closest to us lie, cheat and deceive. Well, I had no idea at the time, but that study led to three groundbreaking discoveries. I'm going to go over them, just briefly, and in the coming episodes I'll dive into them much deeper along with solutions and tips and strategies to heal.

So the first discovery was, originally I was setting something called Posttraumatic growth -betrayal and posttraumatic growth. Posttraumatic growth is- if you can imagine kind of an upside of trauma, how that trauma, regardless of what it is (death of a loved one, disease, natural disaster, etc.) how it leaves you with a new insight, perspective, or awareness that you didn't have beforehand. Like maybe you realize when you lose someone you love, life is short, or the little things matter, things like that. And I was like, well, I've been through death of a loved one and I've been through disease, but this is different, betrayal is different.

I didn't want to assume that was the same for everyone, so I asked all my study participants and I said: “If you've been through other traumas besides betrayal does it feel different for you?” Hands down unanimously they said: “Oh my gosh it's so different!” Here's why. Let's say you lose a loved one. You grieve, you’re sad, you mourn the loss, life will never be the same, but you don't necessarily take it personally. Betrayal feels personal. It feels so intentional, so we take it so personally. So the whole self has to be rebuilt. Belonging, confidence, worthiness, trust, rejection, abandonment are all huge topics that all have to be rebuilt. We have to rebuild the self. So, this type of healing needed its own name, so I coined a new term Post Betrayal Transformation and that is the complete and total rebuild of you after a traumatic experience with betrayal. So that was the first discovery.

The second one was, while we can stay stuck for years, decades, a lifetime (and so many of us do), if we're going to fully heal, (I'll talk about how to know when we're fully healed, in another episode), if we are to fully heal, we will move through 5 proven and predictable stages. Now, what's even more exciting about that is, now we know what happens at every stage, (physically, mentally and emotionally), and we know what it takes to move from one stage to the next. Why is that good? Because that means healing is predictable. That means, if you know what Stage you're in you're in Stage two, you're in Stage three, whatever the Stage is, we know what you need to do to move from that one Stage to the next!

So there's a roadmap now that that we never had. Now, it's predictable. That was the second discovery.

The third discovery was that there's actually this collection of symptoms, (physical, mental and emotional) so common to betrayal, it's now known as Post Betrayal Syndrome. So we actually have a quiz on our site: https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz/. It's the Post Betrayal Syndrome quiz. You take that to see to what extent, you're still struggling. Here's what's so interesting about it. We've had easily at the time of this recording, over 18,000 people take the Post Betrayal Syndrome quiz and you know how you may have heard: “Time heals all wounds?” I have the proof, that's not true, because there's a question that reads, “is there anything else you'd like to share,” and people write things like: “My betrayal happened 40 years ago, and I can still feel the pain,” “my betrayal happened 35 years ago, I'm unwilling to trust again,” “my betrayal happened 10 years ago, I feel gutted.” So, we know that when it comes to betrayal, time does not heal all wounds, not when it comes to betrayal.

With betrayal, we heal when we “face it, feel it heal it.” I'm going to teach you how to do that in upcoming episodes. I want to I want to leave you with this. Betrayal, it follows you around like shadow until, and until and unless you take the time to actually heal it, but I want to give you an example of how to know if you have an unhealed betrayal because you may be thinking; “Oh my gosh, that happened years ago.” It doesn't matter. I'll show you how it's showing up.

It shows up in your health, your work, your relationships. So let's take relationships we see it in one of two ways. The first way is you have repeat betrayals, and you go from boss to boss to boss. Or, co worker to co worker to co worker. Friend to friend to friend. Partner to partner to partner and you're like; “What the heck! The faces are changing but it's the same thing all the time?! Is it me?” Yes it is. There's a profound lesson you need to learn. I'm not saying you caused the betrayal. I'm saying these people are coming into your world, to give you an opportunity for you to learn that boundaries are constantly getting crossed, or to finally show you you're lovable, worthy, deserving-whatever the lesson is for you. You will keep finding “opportunities” to learn those lessons until you do. When you do, it doesn’t need to keep repeating itself. So if you have a repeat betrayal. That's how we know it's an unhealed betrayal, that's the first way.

The second way is, we will see it in people who say, and maybe this is you, you put that big wall up; “Been there, done that I'm not letting anybody get close to me again!” And we think it's coming from a place of strength. No, it's coming from a place of fear. That's an unhealed betrayal.

We see it in health, where people go to the most incredible doctors, healers, coaches and therapists to manage a stress related symptom, illness, condition or disease. At the root of all that stress- and unhealed betrayal.

We see it at work too in so many ways. Here are just two. You want to ask for that raise or promotion, you deserve it. But your confidence was shattered in the betrayal so you don't have the confidence to ask and you're bitter and resentful instead. And that's the energy you're bringing to work with you every day. Or, you want to be that team player, that collaborative partner, but the person who trusted the most proved untrustworthy, how can you trust that boss, that co worker, that JV partner or that collaborative person who wants to work with you?

It shows up everywhere. Now, you may be thinking; “Oh, I can never heal from this, it's way too big.” Yes you can, you can heal from all of it, I'm living proof and so are the people within the PBT Institute. Now, rebuilding is always a choice whether you rebuild yourself and move on (that's what I did with my family, it wasn't an option to rebuild with them.) Or, and we teach you how to do this in the community how to know if it's safe in your and in your best interest to heal and rebuild with that person, how to know if it's safe and in your best interest just to heal and move on. Or, if the situation lends itself, if you're willing, if you want to, you may have the opportunity, if you choose to rebuild something entirely new with the person who hurt you. That's what I did with my husband. As to completely transformed people, not long ago, we married each other again. New rings, new vows, new dress and this time, our four kids is our bridal party.

So, lots of healing, lots to learn, lots to share and I am so excited to share with you. Be on the lookout for these Friday doses of A Dose of Dr. Debi. They’ll be coming to you with healing tips, tools and solutions. What I know for sure is that even if you have to say it a million times to yourself, it's worth it ready? “Even though it happened to you, it's not about you.” It's not about you. The good news is that betrayal lends itself to being the perfect opportunity for transformation. I'll be talking about that so much more. But you've been through the hardest part already, so if you're going to be going through the hardest part, why not give yourself the opportunity to create the strongest and most healthy, healed, whole, version of you possible? It's entirely possible. And I'm going to show you how to do that. So check back next time and I'll see you soon. Bye.

Resources Mentioned

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Life is like a game, it’s a game where many curveballs are thrown our way. As with all games, you can’t win all the time. And once we lose, it's often because of abuse or betrayal. Some people turn to drugs or alcohol to cope with these traumatic experiences, while others shut themselves in.

Jason Leenaarts knows this well, his traumatic childhood experiences have led him to make several bad decisions in the past. But his story is far from sad. Instead, it speaks of triumph and is a testament to the fact that there will always be a way out of any dark tunnel.

About Guest/Topic

You may know Jason Leenaarts as the owner of Revolution Fitness and Therapy in Ohio. Jason is a man who turned trauma into strength. But not many people are aware of the long journey he took towards self-healing and discovery.

During a downward spiral, Jason relied on various prescription drugs to cope with the pain of his past trauma. He realized, in hindsight, that these treated his symptoms but never the root cause, which eventually opened the door to substance abuse.

After years of struggling and countless visits to many psychiatrists, Jason was finally able to regain control over his life and develop a deeper connection with himself.

In this episode, Jason shares his story of trauma and transformation to inspire and help people in the same boat.

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please seek help from your nearest medical professional.

In This Episode * Understand the different stages of betrayal and trauma * Recognize what ‘rock bottom’ is and how to rise above it * Learn about the ways that people cope with abuse, betrayal, and trauma * Find out why you need to tackle the root cause of your trauma to truly heal * Discover the journey towards self-healing and discovery

Quotes “Here I was finishing up high school, about to go on to college, was gonna be independent like all college kids very much wish to be when they finally wanna get out of their parents’ home. And it just started this domino effect of bad things that happened and you don’t really know how to stop that downward spiral of ‘I don’t have a lot of self-worth’ and ‘I don’t really like how things are happening in my life’ and ‘I don’t really know how to cope with these things.’” [3:26]

“When you’ve got trauma in your life, all of a sudden, you look at things differently in your life.” [7:55]

“Life’s not going the way that I want. So, it must be because I’m not worthy of good things. And you tell yourself that story regardless of how untrue it actually is … Once we start that domino effect, it goes nowhere good. And it’s hard to get yourself out of that.” [18:26]

“At the time, I was still in so much denial that I actually have a drug problem. The drugs were a daily thing. I didn’t think that drugs were something that were taking over my life.” [20:33]

“The bad things that were happening were happening because I was not in control of the things that I should have been in control of.” [22:31]

“You know how certain things go in your relationship over time where it’s like ‘wow, some problems don’t go away when you get married.’ And so, you start to grab all of those things in, and they become the things that get swept under the rug. And you know, I think everyone knows what that’s like when you finally lift up the rug, and go ‘oh, there’s that mess I made’” [26:41]

“Just because you solve certain problems in your life doesn’t mean that they’re all solved.” [29:42]

Resources Mentioned Jason Leenaarts’ website

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute

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Betrayal can cloud our judgment and make us feel isolated and alone. It feels as though the world is crumbling away beneath our feet.

You may think that there is no way out of this deep hole, but the truth is, there is so much you can do to get past this situation.

How? You need to find a way to break away from multiple betrayals. Otherwise, you end up trapped in a vicious cycle.

Wendy Rose Williams, a past life adventure guide, is dedicated to helping people release energy that no longer serves them so they can live happier and healthier lives filled with purpose.

About Guest/Topic Wendy Rose Williams experienced multiple betrayals in the past. After discovering her first boyfriend cheating on her with one of her closest relatives, she lost her confidence and self-worth. The double betrayal affected her deeply and left her devastated.

While caught in a web of lies and deception, she made a resolute decision to leave her toxic relationship behind. This empowered her to love and understand herself better, set healthy boundaries, and enjoy life more deeply.

In this episode, Wendy shares her life experiences with us so that we, too, can learn how to overcome multiple betrayals.

In This Episode * Understand betrayal and its effects * Recognize when to establish healthy boundaries * Accept betrayals as lessons meant to be learned * Learn the 5 love languages by Gary Chapman * Discover why you are the only person who can complete yourself * Find out how love and relationships should be

Quotes “I just felt very alone. I felt ashamed. I felt embarrassed. I felt not enough. I felt crazy at times because I really knew that the affair was continuing yet they both were at the point of denying it.” [6:19]

“The physical symptoms (of betrayal) were just feeling a kick in the gut.” [7:26]

“I really feel it was meant to teach me to have much better boundaries and it took me a couple more relationships to learn that fully. But to put me first and to just really love and respect myself because that was not being exhibited by my behaviors staying in those relationships.” [13:31]

“I learned I cannot be in a relationship with someone where there is not excellent communication.” [16:58]

“If you’re gonna have that perfect storm, it’s the perfect place to get out of that victim or martyr or depressed place that we can get into. And just get out of that ‘why is this happening to me’ and shifting it to ‘why is this happening for me’.” [20:40]

“Jerry McGuire had it dead wrong. You do not complete me. There is no one that completes me.” [22:04]

“Do not give your heart away. Love yourself first. Take care of yourself first.” [32:28]

“I think we need to change our culture to learn that we’re meant to rise in love, not fall in love. Because there’s something about that concept of falling in love implies giving away your power. And I think that’s really the issue.” [36:49]

Resources Mentioned Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Language Book

Wendy Rose William’s Website

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Going through menopause can be extremely overwhelming and stressful for women. Aside from marking the end of their fertility, it gives rise to a series of hormonal imbalances that lead to various physical and emotional changes.

What exactly are the common hormones affected in the process? What role do they play in the changes that women experience during menopause?

Finding the answers to these questions is one thing, but it’s important for us women to accept the changes that we are going through. And that is what Dr. Debra Muth does.

About Guest/Topic Dr. Debra Muth is a Naturopathic practitioner and the owner of Serenity Health Care Center. As an advocate for women's health, she founded Phoenix Factor—a health optimization program for high-functioning female executives.

Dr. Debra aims to empower more women by providing organic ways of dealing with menopause. She is currently hosting a natural health and wellness podcast called Let's Talk Wellness.

In this episode, Dr. Debra Muth discusses how women can navigate menopause and midlife with optimism.

In This Episode * Identify the correlation between menopause and women’s inner triggers * Recognize the effects of menopause on a woman’s sex drive * Identify the common hormones affected by menopause * Identify the symptoms of Perimenopause * Achieve the proper outlook for menopause * Discover natural ways to balance your hormones

Quotes "As I moved into menopause, and my body started changing, and it didn't operate the way it used to ... out come all of these feelings of insecurity and inferiority again." [3:52]

"If we thought it was bad as a teenager, menopause is just another enlightened moment for us. And so, we start to have more problems with focus and concentration and sexual desire goes away, energy changes, and our sleep patterns are bad." [7:25]

"There's something about menopause that’s a timestamp of ‘here’s a new chapter’, and your body is letting you know." [9:54]

"80% of the time, if your diet's really clean, you will not experience as many hot flashes or as many complications as women who have that typical American diet." [15:38]

"You want to try to get as many foods as you can organically." [17:43]

"Surround yourself with people that lift you up. Get rid of the people that have been bringing you down for the last 50 years that you haven’t got the guts to get rid of. Unfriend them." [19:30]

"Your life's not half over––it's just half beginning because now you get to spend the next half of your life." [21:03]

"Getting back in tune with who you are and what you want to be is huge. And then, just pay attention to your body. Listen to your body.” [25:36]

Resources Mentioned Debra Muth's Phoenix Factor Website

Debra Muth's Serenity Health Care Center Website

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Domestic abuse is traumatic for anyone, especially when the person is unaware that they were being abused.

Many people often use the violation of physical safety as the primary measure of domestic abuse. However, Anne Blythe believes that the violation of emotional safety is the most important measure. And being able to identify emotional and psychological abuse is the first step towards healing.

About Guest/Topic Anne Blythe is the producer and host of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast and founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery—a daily online support group for women who are the victims of emotional abuse. She sheds light on topics such as gaslighting and other forms of emotional and psychological abuse.

Anne’s goal is to help women identify the emotional and psychological abuse situations before a physical event happens. Her organization helps women who are victims of male perpetrators and give them immediate safety.

In this episode, Anne Blythe debunks three myths about domestic abuse and shares ways to immediately recover from such trauma.

In This Episode * Discover why emotional safety should be used to gauge domestic abuse * Understand the healing process to recover from emotional and physical abuse * Learn how to talk to abuse victims in the right approach * Identify when gaslighting occurs * Learn how to deal with domestic abuse * Debunk 3 domestic abuse myths

Quotes “I don’t believe a physical violent episode can just take place in a vacuum unless it’s someone that you don’t know that’s just like randomly in the street. But if it’s someone that you have a relationship with, there have been elements of emotional and psychological abuse that precede that physical event.” [02:25]

“Betrayal can happen on both sides in men and women.” [06:08]

“(Gaslighting is) when someone is trying to hide something, decides to alter your reality so that you live in an alternate reality with them and because you’re living in this alternate reality with them, you can’t see the signs of what’s really happening.” [09:57]

“(Abuse is) never a communication issue. I have met some of the most amazing women who communicate so well and they’re not able to communicate their way out of abuse.” [17:24]

“Why don’t women get out of abusive relationships? I think the number one answer is they don’t know that they’re in one.” [20:37]

“You’re not going to be ever emotionally safe with someone who’s lying to you, with someone who’s willing to manipulate you, with someone who is more concerned with their secret behaviors than they are about your feelings. You’re never going to be safe with someone who is willing to violate your sacred trust of things you genuinely care about.” [26:17]

“Abuse is something that is bigger than any of us. It is a societal problem, and in many cases, it’s a misogynistic problem. It’s a problem perpetuated by rape culture, pornography, and all types of different societal scripting and religious scripting.” [30:35]

Resources Mentioned

Anne Blythe’s website

Anne Blythe’s books

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute

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Turning self-pity into success means finally recognizing your voice—the voice that has remained hidden and afraid to be heard. Over-internalizing one’s emotions can become destructive. So, to protect your mental health, you need to remove yourself from the negative situation you are in. Janet Autherine is here to show you how.

About Guest / Topic Janet Autherine is the author of Island Mindfulness Path to Transformation and the CEO of Autherine Publishing. She emigrated from Jamaica as a teenager and she now empowers overwhelmed, high-achieving women to create balanced, peaceful, successful, and abundant lives.

In this episode, Janet discusses how we can turn self-pity into success and how to transform into a happier version of ourselves.

In This Episode * How to become the happy version of yourself * Free your mind from negativity * Discover your voice * The effects of negativity * Mindfulness—how to avoid being distracted

Quotes “Negativity, in general, becomes negative emotions and negative emotions become hurtful and cancerous to the body and it pours out to everything that you do.” [15:44]

“Whenever I’m in pain, I used to spend a lot of time blaming myself.” [22:00]

“Most of the time when someone hurts, it’s not really about you. It’s about them projecting what’s going on with them on you.” [23:24]

“I don’t ignore the pain. I don’t ignore the hurt. It has a place. I just try to be responsible when it comes to it.” [24:35]

“I just try to be present for every part of my journey. I try to make everything simple and clear.” [28:56]

Resources Mentioned Janet Autherine’s website

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Being in a toxic relationship is like swimming in an ocean with an anchor tied to your feet that is slowly pulling you down and drowning you—without you even noticing it. Only when we completely remove ourselves from that situation can we achieve freedom and peace.

But identifying whether a relationship is toxic or not can be tough, especially if you’re being manipulated or gaslighted. Luckily, Denise Kavaliauskas is here to help you go from toxic love to true love.

About Guest/Topic Denise Kavaliauskas is an international best-selling author who wrote Empower the Women Within, Stepping Into Total Freedom. She is also a transformational love coach and speaker who inspires women to walk away from destructive partners just as she did. Denise uses the lessons she learned from her own experience to empower women to bounce back from emotional abuse and focus on themselves.

In this episode, Denise shares her take on how to detach yourself from a toxic partner and start your journey to self-care.

In This Episode: * Recognize a toxic relationship and its signs * Understand manipulation and gaslighting * Protect yourself from a destructive partner

Discover a path towards self-care

Quotes “The best way to know is inside of you, you know something is not right. You’re not happy. Your needs are not being met.” [2:38]

“Have ultimate kindness and patience for yourself.” [13:45]

“Do the things for yourself that you deserve to have… Self-care is extremely important after you’ve been through [a toxic] relationship.” [15:00]

“Pay attention to the conversation that you’re having with yourself. Be more loving, more kind, more patient with yourself. What you’ve been through was a horrible experience and that you deserve this love, you deserve this kindness, you deserve this patience with yourself. Everything begins and ends with you. So if you start there you’ll see how that will come out, you’ll see that in your external world.” [27:59]

Resources Mentioned Denise’s Old Website

Denise’s New Website

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Self-betrayal can take many forms. It can be denying your own needs and desires. It can be allowing a person to do something that harms you just to avoid being abandoned. Regardless of the form that it takes, self-betrayal will severely damage your self-worth.

In this episode, Lisa Latimer takes a deeper look at self-awareness and how it can prevent self-betrayal.

About Guest/Topic Lisa Latimer is a results strategist who managed to self-heal from her crippling insecurities and fear of failure that over a decade of toxic relationships left her with. She now helps women fearlessly create fulfillment in their lives by increasing their self-awareness. Lisa knows how important it is to get in touch with your core in order to become unshakeable in the face of any and all challenges.

In This Episode * Take a deeper look at self-awareness * Understand the connection between betrayal and self-betrayal * Recognize how betrayal shows up in your life * Discover how self-awareness can help you heal from past trauma

Quotes “When I talk about self-awareness, I mean getting to the core of who you really are, and that’s minus all of the background noise, whether it's coming from friends, family, coworkers, social media. When you boil everything down, it comes down to you. Who are you at your core? What drives you? What are your motivations? What are your beliefs?” [01:20]

“It's in keeping those promises to yourself that then starts to change the switch in your head and create a new pattern where you're not just so focused on this pattern of self-sabotage and self-betrayal because now you're starting to keep promises to yourself, even if they're just little promises.” [07:30]

“Something that I actually find quite empowering is ‘reframing’. You can go back to a situation that perhaps you felt like a victim or you felt betrayed, and you can look at it from a new perspective all this time later and say, ‘You know what? This person hurt me, this person lashed out at me. I was the strong one in this situation.’ If you were cheated on, it was that person's weakness and lack of discipline or self-control, not yours.” [09:42]

“A lot of times we expect people or we expect a certain degree of treatment from others that we're not willing to do for ourselves. You have to do it for yourself first.” [12:14]

“You always have to go against your need and desire for confirmation bias. You always have to look for the things that can challenge what you think and what you hold as truth.” [15:04]

Resources Mentioned Lisa Latimer

BPT Institute

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Childhood betrayal is a very sensitive topic that is rarely touched upon. For this episode, we’ll be taking a deeper look into how children can experience betrayal through family conflicts like divorce and custody battles with the help of Tracy Poizner.

Tracy is a parenting coach and the host of the Weekly Essential Stepmom Podcast. Through her personal experience as a parent, she helps families minimize trauma to their children by putting them as far away from the conflict as possible.

About Guest/Topic Tracy Poizner has been through almost all stages of parenthood, including parental alienation, long-distance parenting, legal difficulties, mental health issues, total loss of contact, and full-time physical custody.

It is her life’s mission to help stepmoms like her minimize conflict, find peace, and achieve justice in the face of divorce and custody issues. She does this by sharing her experiences with those who are still navigating the rocky path of step-parenthood.

This episode is for stepmoms who are finding it hard to overcome parental alienation from their step-children. Tracy shares her expertise and experience to help step-parents put the child’s well-being first.

In This Episode * Learn the three different types of betrayal a child goes through during family conflicts—emotional blackmailing, brainwashing, and gaslighting

Discover the two kinds of situations parents can look out for to help avoid parental alienation
Learn how children should be kept away from marital conflicts, such as divorce and separation
Understand how family conflicts can affect a child
Understand how children can feel betrayed at court and how the court is the worst place to settle a family situation
The difference between consensus and compromise
Learn Tracy’s 5 Cs framework about communicating to children in a non-verbal way—consistency, contact, cooperation, credibility, and consensus

Quotes “I’m saddened to say that I think I’ve heard about 80% of kids from divorced households are experiencing some level of parental alienation.” [2:58]

“Parents forget that a child is created from half-mother and half-father. That’s a biological reality. There’s no way of getting around that.” [4:26]

“When you, even subtly, suggest that a child should reject some of their other parent, you are asking them to reject half of themselves, which they will gladly do because that’s how we’re wired.” [4:47]

“A child shouldn’t ever be made to feel responsible for your feelings.” [6:46]

“A person can be a terrible spouse and still be a good parent.” [8:45]

“Gaslighting is betraying a sacred trust between a parent and a child that the child can only believe that the parent always has their best interests at heart. And where a parent would deliberately manufacture an appearance of reality to manipulate a child’s deeply held belief system—that’s really cruel and horrible.” [13:14]

“Courts are possibly the worst place to live out this kind of family situation… I think the whole setup is wrong. The whole setup is a pure adversarial terrain. It’s not set up for any kind of consensus or compromise. It’s just a decision, and usually, nobody is completely happy.” [24:58]

Resources Mentioned Tracy Poizner’s email - tracy@tracypoizner.com

Tracy Poizner’s website

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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There will come a time in a woman’s life when she will be ready to start dating again after a failed relationship. But it may not come easy. Fortunately, Kate Houston is here to help you develop your confidence and identify the factors you need to address to take your dating life to the next level.

Kate is no stranger to dating, having experienced the highs and lows of being in different relationships. She learned from all of her past experiences and now uses this knowledge about dating to help ambitious, career-driven women translate that same level of success into their love lives.

About Guest/Topic

Kate Houston usually works with women who are ambitious and successful yet anxious when it comes to love. Most of the women she’s helped are those who have experienced roller-coaster relationships in the past and are finally ready to tap into the power within themselves and have the relationship they’ve always desired.

Kate hopes to empower all women to create loving relationships. She does this by helping them develop the self-reassurance and self-confidence they’ll need to attract the men that they deserve.

In this episode, Kate shares important dating advice that she believes all women should hear.

In This Episode * Identify when you’re ready to start dating after a breakup * Learn how to develop a self-reassuring attitude * Set proper standards and boundaries for yourself while dating * Learn how all women should present themselves when trying to attract men

Quotes “Truly, [love is] a journey to better ourselves and to evolve with another human being as our mirror. ” [3:18]

“Be careful with your language. Words create our reality.” [5:47]

“Ghosting seriously is a validation for ‘I’m not worthy.’” [7:35]

“Standards are about what you will and will not accept.” [10:28]

“Men fall in love with women by how women treat themselves, not how they treat their men.” [12:21]

“When you’re meeting them at their worst or where they perceive as their worst or they’re still in super healing, trying to figure things out, they’re not going to be the right match for you because you’re accepting them at that level. Plus, you don’t know what that healing is going to be to see if it aligns with you yet.” [22:01]

Resources Mentioned Kate Houston’s website

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute

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For a lot of people, the flaws they see in themselves are magnified and much more apparent than the flaws they see in others. These people obsess about all the negatives, no matter how small or big, that they see in themselves. How come?

Why is it easier to give love, kindness, respect, and care to other people but incredibly challenging to give it to yourself?

Certified health coach Kirsi Bhasin debunks the myths about self-care and explains what self-care really is and how you can practice it easily.

About Guest/Topic Kirsi Bhasin is a former corporate employee who became a certified health coach after collapsing from exhaustion. She describes this experience as a wake-up call that made her realize that what she was doing to herself wasn’t working. From there, she decided to work on taking better care of herself.

Kirsi is the author of ‘Recharge: Find Joy, Boost Your Energy, Take Charge of Your Health’. She is also a health expert and a member of Dr. Oz's Sharecare community of top-ranking health experts. She was invited to become a contributor to HuffPost and Thrive Global by Arianna Huffington herself.

She partners with a variety of organizations, from small startups to Fortune 100 companies like AIG and IBM, teaching their employees about self-care.

In this episode, Kirsi shares the story of why she was driven to succeed, what caused it, and what she did to change her life. She also discusses ways to love oneself deeply.

In This Episode * Understand how you can show yourself that you matter and you need self-care * Discover the true definition of slowing down * Learn ways to show yourself love, respect, and kindness * Find out the importance of cultivating patience * Acknowledge that self-care is a challenging journey, and everyone's path is different.

Quotes “[Self-care] is not just about pampering yourself and indulging in what you think is good for you.” [03:38]

“We try to cram in so much into our day, and just the beauty of it and the satisfaction of doing deep self-care is knowing that you can pull back sometimes and just be.” [07:03]

“Even a minute of being and taking that break, taking a pause and taking a nice deep breath and being with yourself. You don't have to validate yourself. You don't have to do anything. You are beautiful and perfect the way you are.” [09:24]

“Everyone's journey is going to be different. Mine is still an ongoing journey. This never ends, in my opinion.” [13:10]

Resources Mentioned Kirsi Bhasin’s website
The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

The PBT Institute Membership Community

From Betrayal to Breakthrough

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Wallowing in self-loathing is never a good thing. It stifles growth, prevents healing, and fosters negativity. Just ask Wendy Sterling.

Wendy Sterling is a divorce recovery specialist, certified theta healing practitioner, podcaster, writer, author, and speaker. She is the founder of The Divorce Rehab™, where she helps women recover from the pain of divorce by finding their true identity and voice to design a life that they choose and love from a place of confidence.

About Guest/Topic

In this world, nothing is permanent. This is a fact that Wendy Sterling knows too well. After all, Wendy divorced her husband of 15 years.

Studies show that an estimated 41% of all first marriages end in divorce and Wendy Sterling found herself just another number in this unfortunate statistic. After spending most of her adult life with the same person—her partner and the father of her kids—she realized that she barely recognizes herself without him.

Here’s the silver lining, Wendy eventually found herself during the process of healing. She was also able to realize her true purpose and that is to help other divorcees recover from the pain of separation.

In this episode, we will take a closer look at how Wendy’s experiences enabled her to find her true self and empower others in the process.

In This Episode * Understand the intricacies of divorce from someone who’s experienced it * Learn how to set proper boundaries in a relationship * Identify when it’s time to get a divorce * Discover how you can bounce back and recover after a divorce

Quotes “I was happily married for about 15 years and it was one of those situations where, you know, the universe kinda gut-punched me into believing that something felt off.” [02:41]

“I didn't know who I was without this man in my life. The reason being that it had occurred to me that I literally only saw me through his eyes. So, if he was happy, I was happy. If he was sad, I was sad, you know, and I was always the person, I was, the people please are right. It was what everybody else had wanted.” [06:34]

“You felt fear, but you were like, okay. I asked for the divorce. That was scary, but I survived and I'm okay. And now, and now here I am.” [18:50]

“We always grow. You know, when we, when we do something out of our comfort zone, you know, life begins out of our comfort. Beyond our comfort zone.” [19:24]

“The boundaries are intended to actually improve relationships and communication versus the opposite. Right. And I think that's why people are so afraid.” [28:12]

Resources Mentioned Wendy Sterling’s website

Wendy Sterling’s Instagram

Wendy Sterling’s Pinterest

Wendy Sterling’s Facebook

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Have you ever asked yourself, “what is the meaning of life?” Everyone has a different answer to this. Professional researcher and advisor Nathanael Garrett Novosel is here to share his own take on this age-old philosophical query.

Nathanael used the insights he discovered from his research to help business leaders solve organizational problems, create effective strategies, and succeed in all areas of life. He has made it his mission to help people live their best possible life.

About Guest/Topic As a child, Nathanael Garrett Novosel experienced all manner of negative thoughts and emotions—worthlessness, loneliness, hopelessness, emptiness.

Nathanael experienced abandonment at the early age of 5 when his father disappeared in the middle of the night. He might not have remembered the night it happened, but he clearly recalls the day his father tried to reach out to him six months after leaving him.

He believed that when his father left, it was just a part of life. But that didn’t stop him from feeling lonely whenever he thought about his father choosing another family over him and finding happiness elsewhere.

After finding out that he was on the spectrum, Nathanael regarded himself as having a “robot brain.” Interestingly enough, it was because of his diagnosis of Asperger’s that he decided to try and find the meaning of life. And that was when he started to feed his curiosity through research.

In this episode, Nathanael talks about the fundamental concepts he discovered during his search for the meaning of life. These eight concepts are growth, experience, desire, belief, emotion, ethics, support, and choice.

In This Episode * Discover how abandonment experienced in childhood can shape your decisions throughout life * Understand how people with Asperger’s communicate * Discover the relationship between science and emotion * Learn about the eight concepts that help define the meaning of life * Discover how breaking down your emotions then changing one portion of it can help you control how you are feeling

Quotes “I felt a hopelessness, an emptiness, a loneliness, a worthlessness, just a void that I would never wish on anyone.” [2:26]

“I just couldn’t comprehend the pain and emptiness I was feeling when my father was ripped away from me again.” [5:48]

“The number one thing you’ll hear from someone who as Asperger’s is that they feel like an alien because they don’t act in the same way that other people do, they don’t process things the way that other people do, they look at things at a completely different way, and they don’t seem to fit in ever.” [8:17]

“Emotions equal three things: desire plus belief plus experience. And that applies to everything.” [21:11]

“Now there are things in this world that you can’t control and there are things you can. If you do the best you can to make the right choices and to improve what you can control, then that’s what your destiny is.” [30:22]

Resources Mentioned Nathanael Garrett Novosel’s website

Nathanael’s Facebook Page

Nathanael’s Twitter

Nathanael’s Instagram

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Anxiety and panic attacks can sometimes become so all-consuming that they take over your life. These can cause you to have nagging thoughts that stop you from being fully comfortable as yourself.

Kim Strobel is a leadership consultant and happiness coach. She helps business owners, leaders, and high achievers prioritize their health and wellbeing so they can reach new heights in their professional and personal lives. Kim’s real-talk approach offers a refreshing take that fosters authenticity and genuine connections. As a result, her clients find it easier to elicit true change.

Even as a happiness coach, Kim is no stranger to trauma. Before becoming a happiness coach, she had to overcome a variety of challenges, adversities, and traumas. In fact, there are still days when she would find herself crying on the office floor, thinking that the world will end soon.

How does she deal with these panic attacks? Let’s find out.

About Guest/Topic Even as a child, Kim Strobel was already demonstrating an intense enthusiasm for life. However, the drawback to such intensity was that she was also full of anxiety. When she was in high school, her anxiety peaked. She would suffer episode after episode of panic attacks, which she recounts were absolutely terrifying. This caused Kim to limit herself from the things that she loves just so she could feel safe. She ended up feeling like she couldn’t function as a normal human being.

After undergoing therapy to address her anxiety, she still found it hard to live the life she wanted. She was eventually able to come to grips with her reality by finally embracing all aspects of her unique self.

In this episode, Kim shares how a person can embrace all sides of themselves in order to be aligned and at peace.

In This Episode * How you can take full responsibility for how you show yourself * Learn the drastic effects of anxiety on a person * Understand the differences between an anxiety attack and a panic attack * Discover helpful literary works that will help you understand why you feel what you feel * Learn why accepting that you need help will help you heal * Learn how to embrace all sides of yourself

Quotes “Anybody who is really joyful... It seems like it’s because they have this deep perspective. Because if we haven’t been through anything dark, how can we appreciate all that goodness?” [3:38]

“Because nobody knew what was wrong with me, this was really years and years that I spent feeling completely flawed and completely betrayed by my own brain.” [6:00]

“Whatever you’re paying attention to and focused on, it grows. Because I became hypersensitive to every little thing that was going on, it just sent my adrenaline into flight or flee mode easily.” [10:40]

“The more I understood what the symptoms were, that they were not dangerous but also why I felt the way I did, that really helped me to do the work that I needed to do for myself.” [23:18]

“I didn’t wanna just use the band-aid of antidepressants and not get at the layers under me that were contributing to my issues.” [23:42]

“Here I am flying across the country, giving talks to thousands of people. And, I’m also struggling to drive to Walmart, which is 5 minutes away from my house.” [29:02]

“Isn’t it amazing when you embrace all sides of you, you completely come into alignment? And that’s when you are looking, feeling, living, and performing at your absolute best. And it becomes easier because you don’t have to try to be anything else than all of the wonderful parts that make you, you. ” [31:07]

“Only 10% of your long-term happiness has to do with your external circumstances.” [31:58]

Resources Mentioned Kim Strobel’s Podcast: She Finds Joy

She Finds Joy Facebook Group

The PBT Institute Membership Community

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Do you ever hear a voice inside your head that keeps telling you, “you’re not beautiful, not fit, and just not enough?” Negative self-talk is extremely destructive. And it affects you more than you know. This type of internal dialog places you in a self-sabotaging state where everything you do will never be enough for you to feel happy about yourself.

Jennifer D'Amato loves to help women overcome and eliminate this negative self-talk and become intuitive leaders who own their self-worth and beauty. It is her goal to help women feel their best and break down old beliefs.

About Guest/Topic Jennifer D’Amato is a certified health coach and life coach who likes to combine the two disciplines to help women. She also hosts a weekly podcast for women, where she blends real-life humor and authenticity to empower listeners in all areas of their lives.

Jennifer developed a passion for helping women feel more confident about themselves. This passion stems from her own personal experiences, as she was once a prisoner of her own negative thoughts. Earlier in her life, Jennifer was unable to appreciate her body as none of the diets she tried seem to work. Due to her weight, she was called insulting names such as ‘thunder thighs’, causing her to starve herself and jump from one fad diet to another.

Jennifer was able to break the cycle of self-sabotage and self-doubt and now she wants to help other women do the same.

In this episode, Jennifer shares how to filter the negative voice in your head and listen to the positive, authentic inner voice that says, “yes, you are more than enough.”

In This Episode * Discover the negative side effects of self-sabotaging thoughts * Find out how negative thinking affects your perception about your body * Identify the various kinds of negative self-talk * Learn how childhood trauma and social media causes negative self-talk * Understand the long process of changing your beliefs and honoring your body

Quotes “The thoughts I was having were causing a lot of my health problems.” [4:19]

“I didn’t realize that I was actually doing this whole self-sabotage. I was hurting myself by what I believed about my body.” [5:16]

“Instead of looking at it as deprivation of ‘oh, I can’t eat that cookie, I can’t have that donut, I can’t drink that glass of wine,’ look at it as ‘by doing that, I’m only depriving myself of feeling good in my own body.’” [8:05]

“Every client I’ve met with believes that the voice they hear is their own… They believe that the inner critic is the one who’s saying those things in their head actually is them. Most often, it’s not. Most often, it comes from some rules that were told to them as kids.” [10:07]

“We live in a social media age. They’re being bombarded, especially my younger clients, by images of what they think they should look like.” [11:11]

“There’s no harm intended in saying, ‘you need to clear your plate before you can get up from the table.’ Except the harm comes when we’re no longer honoring our body.” [11:53]

“Affirmations have the best of intentions. But if we’re saying something that we feel is so not true, even though we want it, our mind kicks it out.” [17:30]

“Your mind believes whatever you tell it. Your mind gravitates towards that negative and hangs onto it. We can hear a hundred wonderful things, but that one negative—that’s what we hang on.” [22:24]

“You are worthy. You are worthy of this work. You are worthy of waking up everyday feeling great about yourself, about the things that you do, about the things you choose not to do. You are absolutely worthy of having new thoughts.” [26:17]

Resources Mentioned Free Ebook How to Confront the Bully When the Bully is You: Overcoming Negative Self Talk

Jennifer D’Amato’s Facebook Page

Jennifer D’Amato’s Instagram Page

The PBT Institute Membership Community

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Like everyone else in this world, you’ve struggled in life. Some of these struggles may have been traumatic, and these left lasting scars. So how do you use those struggles as motivation? Let the Struggle Guru, Kirsten Beverley-Waters, show you how.

About Guest/Topic Our guest for today, Kirsten Beverley-Waters, is a yoga teacher, fitness coach, and motivational speaker. She’s here with us today to inspire us and show us how to use the low points in our lives to propel us to greater heights.

In her book, Struggle Guru, Kirsten explains how our individual struggles help shape our biology and give breath to our individual superpowers.

Learn more about this by listening to Episode 177 of FBTB!

In This Episode You’ll Learn About: * Handling life’s struggles * Coping with life’s uncertainties * Healing ourselves through acceptance * Understanding the journeys of the people Kirsten has worked with

Quotes “My book helps us find the guru within ourselves to master our struggles.” [2:13]

“I’ve always had a very strong faith base.” [5:10]

“You are a manifestation of your thoughts.” [10:49]

“Often, we’re just blindly moving forward without considering where we’re going.” [21:31]

“So many of us live the exact same chapter over and over again.” [23:28]

“Ask yourself, ‘what do I need today?’” [27:01]

Resources Mentioned Kirsten Beverley-Waters’ Website

Kirsten Beverley-Waters’ Instagram

Kirsten Beverley-Waters’ Twitter

The PBT Institute Membership Community

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Trauma has many faces and many sources. For some, it may stem from a childhood event. For others, it could have been caused by an unhealthy relationship. But one thing ties all forms of trauma together—healing from them requires a release.

Releasing trauma is different for everyone. One way that has been found to be effective is dance movement therapy. Just ask Orit Krug.

About Guest/Topic Orit Krug is a board-certified dance movement therapist who helps women get past trauma through dance therapy so they can enjoy healthy, lifelong relationships with their partners. No stranger to trauma herself, Orit experienced betrayal on a daily basis due to her tumultuous childhood. This eventually affected her romantic relationships as she grew older.

Orit got into unhealthy, abusive relationships with emotionally-unavailable partners. After one of her partners left her, she understood that it was her negative attitude that pushed him away. She then resolved to deal with her long-standing trauma. And that’s how she found dance movement therapy.

Through dance movement therapy, Orit learned how to release her trauma in a healthy and productive way.

Join Orit Krug as she discusses how organic, expressive, and creative movement helped her rewire her nervous system and enabled her to break unhealthy relationship patterns.

In This Episode * Learn about how childhood trauma can affect your future relationships * Discover the relationship between trauma and movement * Learn the power of movement when it comes to stirring up layers of trauma * The difference in the approaches used in trauma therapy and dance movement therapy * Learn how movement can mirror trauma responses

Quotes “By the time I met my husband, I was like, wow. He was like an anomaly because he was the most gentle, sensitive, caring man I’ve been with, which was so different from any other relationship. It was such a shock to my nervous system and everything I knew that I was just sabotaging it day in and day out.” [2:50]

“Because all the men I grew up with, my family, were so explosive and unpredictable, I just couldn’t believe that he was so calm and gentle. I just kept waiting until he would explode or until he showed his true colors. I just kept constantly testing that through different approaches. It was like an addiction to me to sabotage.” [5:04]

“Every movement that we do represents a different behavior, a different way we cope with the world.” [08:23]

“Even if you don’t know, when we go through trauma and extremely stressful events, this thinking, talking higher executive functioning part of our brain goes offline. And the trauma, memories, feelings get stored in our body. They get stored as fragments. And the memories are actually sensations. ” [11:52]

“Because trauma is stored in the body, when we start to move our bodies in different ways and new ways, it’s going to inevitably stir up this old trauma that’s been stored there.” [15:56]

“Trauma stays trapped until it’s released. And it’s up to us to find the most helpful and healing ways to release it.” [32:33]

Resources Mentioned Wired for Love Free Course

Orit Krug’s website

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Now, more than ever, we need the right tools to help us become our optimal selves. Unfortunately, medication isn’t always able to address the root of our mental health issues. Despite following everything our doctors prescribe, the negative feelings we’re experiencing don’t seem to go away. Either that or they eventually return.

This doesn’t mean that medication doesn’t work. It’s just that the inner healer in your body has yet to fully awaken. We all have a natural superpower to address underlying issues in our own bodies and minds, and unlocking this amazing ability sometimes needs a little push.

Luckily, Jen Broyles is here to teach us everything we need to know about holistic healing. From practicing breathwork to using essential oils, Jen wants to share her first-hand experience in natural healing and how it has changed her life for the better.

About Guest/Topic

Like most of us, Jen Broyles is no stranger to stress, anxiety, and all manner of mental health issues. Despite having a successful career in pharmaceutical sales, she found the best form of treatment was the natural process of holistic healing. After discovering the amazing benefits of breathwork and essential oils, she made it her life’s mission to help others restore and optimize their health by addressing the root cause of the symptoms.

In today’s episode, Jen shares how natural healing helped her address digestive issues, anxiety, and hormonal imbalances, problems that conventional medicine could not solve. She also discusses how combining holistic modalities can be a huge benefit to anyone looking to live a healthier lifestyle.

In This Episode

Discover the power of alternative and natural medicine
Learn the type of diet that works best for you
Why and how stress affects our overall health
How breathwork can be healing and life-changing

Quotes

“I found myself in the world of natural health, trying to solve the health issues that I was experiencing.” [2:11]

“We can see betrayal in a number of different things, whether it’s relationships or sometimes we feel like our bodies betray us. Sometimes, we feel like the health system has betrayed us or doctors have betrayed us.” [5:04]

“Trying to follow some of these diets was causing more stress because I wasn’t allowing myself grace. I would get very rigid and very stressed out about it.” [10:07]

“Oftentimes, many of us are dealing with chronic stress in some form or another. And until we learn ways to reduce chronic stress, it’s going to be difficult to heal our body.” [11:33]

“What deep rhythmic breathing is doing is bringing coherence to the body. It’s creating a state of harmony, homeostasis. It’s calming the nervous system. And it helps realign all the rhythms in your body.” [18:37]

“Breathwork isn’t just breathing. It’s a powerful way to create harmony, calm the nervous system, get yourself into a parasympathetic state, the rest and digest state versus the fight or flight state. It can create physical healing, emotional healing, increase creativity, insights, a deeper spiritual connection, and more.” [30:25]

Resources Mentioned

Jen’s Free Breathwork Meditation

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Tanya Marie Dubé is a life coach and motivational speaker with 28 years of experience and a solid background in human behavior psychology. She is a show host, motivational speaker, published author, and online educator with a passion for helping people ever since she was young. She is the founder of Mighty Influence Mastery where she discusses how women entrepreneurs can build their business through deep and influential relationships with their audiences. She has a powerful podcast for women entrepreneurs called “What It Takes”.

About Guest/Topic If there was a competition for the most resilient character of this generation, Tanya would make a good contender in that arena. Born into the foster care system, Tanya has been in eight homes before the age of two, homeless for six years starting the age of 12, had a pedophile for a stepdad, and was badly beaten at home before she decided to run away. With $18 in her pocket and all odds against her, Tanya continued to trudge forward and ultimately came out the other end triumphant.

Not without struggle, Tanya eventually came to terms with the people in her past and the betrayals that have transpired throughout her life. But what is truly admirable in her journey is her eagerness and dedication to make it through despite her circumstances and her willingness to help others do the same.

In this episode, she talks about her abusive past, her unrelenting hope for the future, and how she used both to shift her course towards success.

In This Episode * How is spirituality helpful in your journey to self-healing? * What is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)? * Learn the value of gratitude, forgiveness, and faith

Quotes “Isn't the way to really learn something is by teaching it?” [06:23]

“This is the way your life is. You have two choices, you can either understand it and use it and grow from it or you can be slammed by it.” [07:20]

“The only way we can grow is if we go through something.” [13:50]

“When I would wake up in the morning, my very first thought was: Okay, I get to do this again. I was so grateful to open my eyes and get to do it. So that's something I carried through into my life now. That level of gratitude really puts a microscope (??) on what's good and what’s positive.” [16:05]

“When something feels heavy and it feels like it’s starting to implode I have to take a look and see what it is I’m trying to control.” [18:05]

“As a soul in this human body going through this very human experience you have to remember that your calling in experience is based on where your perspective lies.” [29:08]

Resources Mentioned Tanya Dubé’s Website

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

How Your Biggest Crisis Reveals Your Greatest Gift
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Pretty much everybody experiences heartbreak at some point in their lives. Oftentimes, this experience leaves us feeling abandoned, hurt, and betrayed. Because of this trauma, we find it hard to enter into a new relationship without feeling anxious.

Our guest, Monica Parikh, is here to show us that no matter how broken we may feel, we can still attract a positive relationship. She hopes to help women build practical skills that can enable them to de-escalate conflict, set boundaries, break codependency and interdependence, and find their life’s purpose.

About Guest/Topic Monica Parikh is a lawyer, teacher, writer, healer, and love coach. Despite having an Ivy League education, she discovered the greatest lessons in life from her coaches and psychologists. This led her to begin her mission to build a love revolution through the School of Love NYC. Nowadays, Monica helps women attract all of life’s riches from a place of higher consciousness.

Like most of us, Monica experienced a very traumatic heartbreak after her husband of 10 years walked out of her life. She was left alone and in tears without any explanation and closure. This urged her to take her game to the next level, which she admitted was hard work. Through this ordeal, Monica was able to create meaningful conversations about the real worth of a woman.

In This Episode * Discover the patterns of the different types of relationships * Avoid repeating something that didn’t work for you * Determine which characteristics and traits from your family you need to carry with you and which ones you should let go of * Have the awareness to know what’s driving your behavior and start the process of change * Learn how to create a better relationship with yourself

Quotes “Women who have more anxious attachment styles are put in a field where they are competing with a lot of women.” [6:25]

“Attachment is something that we learn to love from our parents.” [9:35]

“So many people are running towards food, drugs, alcohol, work, TV, keeping busy—anything to avoid ‘face it, feel it, heal it.’ It’s when we face it and when we feel it, that’s when we’re willing to do the work to move through it.” [15:10]

“The things that those kids learn in their families will impact their ability to love for the rest of their lives.” [20:15]

“The biggest form of activism is being an exceptionally happy, forgiving, kind, and purpose-driven woman who’s really using her gifts to better the world.” [29:30]

Resources Mentioned Monica Parikh’s Website The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz The PBT Institute Membership Community

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Life is full of experiences that either make us stronger or render us helpless. We’ve all been there, but accepting the past and leaving it in the past is something that not everyone can do. Luckily, Tash Leath-Hamilton isn’t like most people.

Tash uses her God-given gift to help others shift their mindset, change problematic behaviors, and move forward to live their best lives possible. More than that, Tash is the kind of friend who is willing to have an honest conversation with you.

About Guest/Topic Tash Leath-Hamilton is an intuitive guru and life advisor. She loves talking to people about their past, present, and future in a fun, loving, and authentic way. But what most people don’t know is she was obliged to hide her gift when she first found out about it.

At the age of six, Tash found out about her gift of intuition. She understood her mother’s protectiveness of her, but her duty to help change other people’s lives soon developed into a lifelong calling. After all, Tash is a person who freely speaks what’s in her heart and on her mind.

In this episode, Tash talks about how she uses her gift of intuition to help others achieve peace of mind and bring reassurance to those who are struggling to get by.

In This Episode * Discover how Tash uses her gift of intuition to change people’s lives * Learn about the gift of intuition and how it can lead you to the life that you’re supposed to live * Embrace the idea of intuition and accept what is truly going on in your life * Find and strengthen your gift from God and use it to help others

Quotes “I tell people all the time that I’m not going to tell you what you want to hear, I’m going to tell you what you need to know.” [6:38]

“We give up what we think is steady just to pursue our passion. And it is terrifying but is so unbelievably rewarding.” [15:04]

“Just because I don’t understand something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist or it’s not true.” [15:15]

“There’s people on the planet that are willing to help you, you just have to be open to it.” [19:29]

“I want everyone to really live their best lives. We’re all going to have things that are going on constantly. There’s always going to be revels in the roads, that’s never going to change. But as people are open to trusting the process and understanding that things in life happen for a reason, nothing’s by accident, and move forward with trying to get through whatever it is, then you’re being to where you’re supposed to be a lot faster.

I think people hold themselves back—being stuck—and not knowing what’s in front of them because of a particular situation at that time where they just have to move on and move through.” [21:15]

“Everyone has a unique strength, gift, talent, and calling … The key is to find and strengthen your gift, then use it to help others.” [26:48]

Resources Mentioned Tash Leath-Hamilton’s Website

Tash Leath-Hamilton’s Facebook Page
Tash Leath-Hamilton’s Instagram

Tash Leath-Hamilton’s Twitter

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Cynthia Thurlow is a globally recognized expert in nutrition and intermittent fasting. She’s a highly sought-after CEO and the founder of the Everyday Wellness Project. In addition, Cynthia has been a practicing nurse for over 20 years and a two-time TedX speaker. Her second talk on intermittent fasting has been viewed nearly 6 million times.

You can catch her by tuning into her Everyday Wellness Podcast, which Entrepreneur Magazine listed as one of the 25 Podcasts That Will Help You Grow in 2020.

About Guest/Topic Cynthia’s parents separated when she was in second grade. This made her childhood quite difficult. Most people would carry that pain with them well into adulthood, but Cynthia Thurlow is not most people. Instead of wallowing in despair, she was motivated to do better. Today, she is a thought leader in her field, as well as an expert on how to get out from under limiting beliefs and unhealthy coping mechanisms.

In this episode, learn how Cynthia overcame her childhood and became the successful entrepreneur that she is today.

In This Episode * Learn how to identify the mindset you need to change in order to turn your life around * Discover the most important mindset strategy * Listen to how you can use your situation to your advantage

Quotes “Sometimes it’s easy for us to fall into patterns because it’s less effort.” [6:30]

“By pausing, it was advantageous because it led me to consider other options.” [7:00]

“We have to give ourselves the freedom to make decisions that perhaps don’t seem that they are a hundred percent right.” [7:35]

“I’m not a perfectionist, thank goodness, but when I reflect back, I think it was the faith that I had in myself.” [11:28]

“It’s clear to me more than ever, that desire to learn, that desire to persevere, that desire to challenge myself, all those resiliency skills, they all stem from the way that I grew up.” [12:40]

“I wanted to be the parent I didn’t have and I got to see mirroring both in men and women of what not to do as a parent and so that’s a gift.” [13:37]

“How do I get from point A to B and how do I do that in a respectful, loving way? And do it with integrity?” [14:40]

“You gotta invest in yourself, it is so critical. “ [21:30]

“It’s always about helping others, it’s always about being of service.” [23:10]

“It’s amazing how when you have a major crisis in your life, you can sink or swim. I’d rather swim.” [26:48]

“I think reflection and I think brutal honesty with yourself. I have an ability to look objectively at myself and sometimes it’s not pretty.” [27:30]

“All of us go through things, whether it’s emotional pain, psychological pain, and so it’s that mindset shift for me that has made all the difference.” [28:51]

“I think part of being a woman is that we are these incredibly intuitive beings, and I think it’s absolutely critical that we are honest and forthright about what type of life we want to create for ourselves.” [30:12]

Resources Mentioned Cynthia Thurlow’s Website

Intermittent Fasting Lifestyle/Cynthia Thurlow

Cynthia Thurlow’s Facebook Page

Cynthia Thurlow’s Instagram

Cynthia Thurlow’s Twitter

Cynthia Thurlow’s LinkedIn

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Annette Comer is a savvy businesswoman who knows how to play the game—and win. She is a bestselling author, international speaker, 7-figure entrepreneur, and the founder of the World’s Greatest Women Academy. Anette started her career as a mechanical engineer, a profession dominated mostly by men. She dove into the corporate arena and came out on top with her excellent performance in project engineering and research management at a Fortune 500.

About Guest/Topic

As one of the few women in her company and the industry as a whole, Annette was used to being around men. In fact, she even led a team made up mostly of men. This didn’t sit well with one of her employees, who one day, brought a loaded gun to work to use against her.

Interestingly, it wasn’t this incident that pushed her to quit her job. It was the fact that her male bosses chose to put the blame on her. The shocking betrayal forced her to learn the hard way that there are people in this life who just aren’t worth your time and energy, even if you’ve spent the past 19 years working with them.

In this episode, we will take a closer look at how Annette’s experiences shaped her to be the strong, successful woman that she is today.

In This Episode * Learn the different approaches to dealing with men and women in business * Find out how you can improve your communication skills * Learn how to prevent being blindsided in the cutthroat world of business * Discover the most important aspects of a business

Quotes “I heard a voice in my head: you have just experienced that ultimate intimidation and betrayal.” [03:36]

“I keep looking for the answer connected with me, and in the end, after many years, I came to realize it wasn’t me.” [04:25]

“Clarity is great when it’s hindsight.” [09:45]

“Women form leadership in business in a completely different way than men do. They take it into this personal mission that they get so much of themselves wrapped up into and so that sets them up for being exposed to a betrayal that men don’t experience.” [09:54]

“For a woman, she views business as something that is pulling together a group of people for the betterment of something, to accomplish a goal so she’s very much attuned of where people’s skills are, how they’re interacting, what’s their productivity….” [11:58]

“When you lose yourself in the other, you just run up against brick walls.” [14:35]

“What were the main rules of the game? What skills did men have to play that game well that women did not have?” [15:15]

“Women take it all internally, they whirl it inside and they get sick and they quit and they get exhausted. [22:45]

“As you move along your leadership journey, know that there’s going to be things that happen that you don’t understand and situations you find yourself in and when that happens, resist the urge to immediately turn into yourself.” [24:56]

“Let’s look on the outside first, let’s not go inside first because when you get inside, it’s a losing battle” [25:42]

“Do training. Invest in yourself.” [26:06]

Resources Mentioned Annette Comer’s Website

Dr. Debi’s new book: Trust Again

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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So often we play the role of victim, in most cases, unintentionally. This is a mindset that limits growth. Our guest for today is Kimberly Milouses. At an early age, Kimberly possessed a ‘poverty mindset’ caused by her household environment. She experienced hardships that no child should. Find out how Kimberly handled her situation and how she overcame being a victim to become the victor that she is today.

About Guest/Topic Kimberly Milousis is a CPA-tax-specialist-turned-natural-health-entrepreneur and an abundance coach. In her coaching work, she focuses on empowering people to create abundance in their mind, body, and finances. She recently launched her course for that very purpose.

On today’s episode, Kimberley Milousis will share her experience of how she started as a victim and ended up being a victor. Listen and learn how this strong woman was able to reconcile her unfortunate past with her boundless potential.

On This Episode * Learn the steps to transform from victim to victor * Discover how having a ‘poverty mindset’ can ruin the choices you make in life * Explore the healing process that Kimberly took to move past her experience

Quotes “The greatest thing [in my marriage] is that 1) I learned how to forgive and 2) I learned to take responsibility” [12:08]

“I didn’t wait until I felt forgiving. I recognize that forgiveness was a choice because if you wait until you feel, maybe that’s not going to happen.” [16:14]

“If the belief is, ‘I’m the victim’, people will always take advantage of me.” [20:50]

Resources Mentioned Life More Abundantly 10-Week Course - use the coupon code DEBI to get 20% off from the course

Empowered Living with Kimberly Milousis

Dr. Debi’s new book: Trust Again

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Lynne Ryan is a Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner, Health Coach, and PBT Coach who has made it her life’s purpose to help others recover from the same path of self-betrayal she was in.

Lynne suffered from clinical depression, weight gain, and a medical condition that led her to completely abandon herself at a certain point in her life. Luckily, she woke up one day deciding it was time to stop and get better. After achieving success on her journey to finding self-love and recovery, she now works to guide and support other women who wish to do the same.

About Guest/Topic

Lynne Ryan always had a sweet tooth growing up, but this has never posed a problem for her because of her active lifestyle. Unfortunately, things started going south when she discovered that she was suffering from hypothyroidism, a condition that affects the body’s metabolism. This affected her health and ultimately slowed down her metabolism.

After getting married and having kids, Lynne found herself giving in to a lot of external stressors. Slowly, her weight started to sneak up on her. She was 70lbs overweight before she finally decided it was time to stop and look at the betrayer in the mirror.

In this episode, find out how Lynne was able to overcome her struggles by learning to love herself and understanding how gratefulness leads to healing.

In This Episode

Learn how to keep yourself from falling into a spiral of negativity
Discover how losing weight can start from loving yourself
Listen to how Lynne was able to turn her life around through the love and support of her family

Quotes “Before you know you’re an empath, you think you’re crazy. Why am I so sensitive? What’s wrong with me?” [04:35]

“But I think I had chosen to abandon myself. I was trying to cope. It was all I could do. I needed to play small. I needed to kind of be invisible. I needed to not rock the boat with my marriage. I needed to just survive.” [08:48]

“Staying in the exact moment, I could not think further. All I’m going to do is make the next best choice.” [14:52]

“I started running a gratitude list. I started playing a game with my kids too about ‘What are the 10 things you love about yourself?’” [16:18]

“What a bridge is is nothing more than a believable statement that you can say until you start believing that.” [18:23]

“I’m grateful for my learnings.” [19:36]

“You can always start easy. I’m grateful for my children. I’m grateful for the opportunity to love them. I’m grateful to be loved.” [19:48]

“Everything I did, I did with the intention of caring for myself.” [20:25]

“When we abandon ourselves, in some way, we’ll always betray ourselves.” [27:16]

“Willingness is the word. If we are unwilling, we go nowhere. And if we have that willingness, it's as if we’re ungluing ourselves to everything we believe, to everything we thought we had to be stuck to and we’re able to move forward a little bit.” [29:25]

Resources Mentioned Lynne Ryan’s Website

The PBT Institute

Dr. Debi’s new book: Trust Again

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Dr. Nima Rahmany is a chiropractor and an educator who specializes in helping individuals and professionals get to the root cause of their physical and emotional challenges. His goal is to help patients get from stressed, depressed, and anxious to living powerfully aligned and on purpose.

Dr. Nima sold his clinic in June of 2016 to pursue his passion for teaching and coaching professionals, who are stressed, depressed and anxious, helping them transform and have their best year ever in both the private and corporate setting.

About Guest/Topic Dr. Nima has integrated all the mind-body tools in his quest to heal stress-related disorders into one simple-to-follow method called The Overview Method™. He teaches this method in one-on-one and group settings all over the world.

On today’s episode, Dr. Nima will share his insights on what we experience after betrayal, why we get stuck and talk about what we can do to heal. He will teach us how to be trigger-proofed and so much more.

On This Episode * Discover how stress-related symptoms can be rooted in betrayal * Find out how a doctor went from a chiropractor to an educator * Learn why we get stuck and how we can move on

Quotes “If we don’t heal that [wound] properly with the right tools and with the right guidance...move it through the body, neutralize it. Then what happens is that it starts to fester and impact, that emotional wound starts to impact us physically.” [3:45]

“Here’s the thing, you either want healing or you want to identify with your story. You cannot have both.” [8:42]

“I call it a portal. It’s like, your trigger is not something to avoid.” [16.43]

“It’s time for you to step up and get ambitious.” [30:30]

Resources Mentioned The Overview Experience™

Dr. Nima’s Website

The “Becoming Trigger-Proof” Virtual Workshop

Dr. Debi’s new book: Trust Again

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Mindy Gorman-Plutzer is a Functional Nutrition and Eating Psychology coach who has dedicated her life to discovering the right approach and the right tools for treating eating behaviors that range from simple to complex. She authored The Freedom Promise: 7 Steps to Stop Fearing What Food Will Do to You and Start Embracing What It Can Do for You, a book that strategically curates the steps you need to take to free yourself from addiction and compulsive eating disorders.

About Guest/Topic Far too often, eating disorders are misunderstood to be a short-term phase teenagers go through and grow out of. In truth, this psychological disorder comes from a deep-seated trauma that requires support and rehabilitation. It can stick with you for decades if you simply allow it to consume you. Mindy has dedicated her life to helping men and women rediscover a part of themselves that is willing to forgive a betrayal caused by others or by their own subconscious mind, leading them to a road of recovery and self-empowerment.

In this episode, Mindy talks about overcoming the fear that is stopping you from growing into the person you will be.

In This Episode

Discover how eating disorders become a projection of unresolved betrayal
Understand how misinformation can lead to unhealthy resolutions
Learn how sustainable recovery begins
Unearth the power of self-empowerment
Learn the biology and genetics of eating disorders

Quotes "The betrayal is about how we disavow ourselves from our universally given right to thrive, to be and feel nurtured and nourished." (05:57)

"Disorder eating basically comes from misinformation." (11:10)

"We feel betrayal when the expectations that we're holding as a result of that attachment are not met." (14:15)

“It starts off as a means of self-soothing, then at some point it becomes destructive where the intention is to soothe.” (14:27)

"It morphs and, truth be told, it’s easier to think about how much you weigh and what you're going to eat than it is to think about the pain you're in." (20:04)

“The process is the desire. The desire has to be bigger than the fear—the fear of who I will be when I let go of this behavior” (21:34)

Resources Mentioned Mindy Gorman-Plutzer Site

Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
The PBT Institute

Group: Women Hacking Betrayal

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David Wood is the Founder of Focus.ceo, a coaching business that helps high-performing business owners double their business by focusing on less. He is also an extremely successful life coach who was ranked #1 on Google with students across 12 countries.

About Guest/Topic David has gone through a lot of challenges himself, having overcome a full collapse of his paraglider that led to a fractured spine. He experienced unimaginable loss when he witnessed the death of his sister at age seven, causing him to suffer from severe anxiety and depression. All these experiences have led David to believe that the tough conversations we avoid are our doorways to confidence, success, and love. In today’s episode, he will discuss the different concepts of betrayal and how to navigate difficult conversations.

In This Episode * Learn how to overcome tough conversations * Understand betrayal in a universal context * Get an overview of David Wood’s Tough Conversations CARE Model

Quotes “There is no betrayal because there is no contract in the Universe.” [2:01]

“A tough conversation is any conversation that feels awkward or we’re afraid of having and I think we sweep too many of these under the carpet.” [4:00]

“If there’s a major betrayal in your life from your point of view, then I think there should be a conversation that has to be had.” [5:28]

“I feel better about myself. I feel more connected to myself because I spoke up about something that matters to me.” [10:21]

“It’s one thing that you share your feelings; “I feel upset”, but what’s one thing that you would do to move things forward?” [20:37]

“I want people to know that the niverse is a lot friendlier than most of us give it credit. The ego tries to defend you and the ego will present that tough conversation in the worst possible way.” [30:22]

Resources Mentioned David Wood Website

Tough Conversations CARE™ Model

Tough Conversations with David Wood Podcast

Dr. Debi’s new book: Trust Again

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Gabrielle Hartley is a strong, compassionate advocate coach who, for 25 years, has helped couples reach amicable resolutions during separation or divorce, even leading them to realize that, maybe, the relationship is worth a second try.

She authored Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate, a book endorsed by Gwyneth Paltrow herself, and was named “The Conscious Uncoupling How To Book” by People Magazine.

About Guest/Topic Gabrielle has counseled countless couples over the years and has kept 99% of her cases out of the courtroom and back on the road of second chances and new beginnings. She may not be able to conclude on first glance the fate that awaits a relationship, but by sharing her carefully curated methods of working through the self and the emotions a person has experienced, her clients are able to reach a peaceful resolution, whether it’s by letting go or hanging on.

In this episode, Gabrielle talks about the positive ways to go through separation, letting go of the pain and resentment and finally finding peace within yourself.

In This Episode

Learn how the things that are happening to you may not typically be about you
Figure out how you can have a positive experience amidst separation and betrayal
Explore the five elements that will help you navigate the roadmap of your relationship
Learn the ways you can forgive someone who has betrayed you and find peace within yourself
Learn why the wrong type of support can do more harm than good

Quotes “The possibilities are really endless. The possibilities come from within the person who's coming to see me.” (02:20)

“Easy now, hard later. Hard now, easy later. Take your pick, it's going to be one of those two.” (11:10)

“Patience is about slowing down, giving yourself tools to respond rather than react.” (08:30)

“What respect is all about, of course, it’s about you. It’s about building up yourself especially when you feel like garbage after you've just been betrayed.” (12:20)

“It's this concept of death and rebirth and there really is the death of the old relationships, the death of the old you, the death of the expectations and the grieving process that goes along with it.” (20:37)

"The thing about forgiveness is it's truly all about you. It is an exercise in being compassionate with yourself.” (23:45)

Resources Mentioned Gabriel Hartley Website

Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
The PBT Institute

Group: Women Hacking Betrayal

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Sandra Cooze, like many other women, was a victim of child molestation and sexual assault. For many years, she suffered the emotional, psychological, and social turmoil of growing up as a victim without the right support that she needed from her family.

After finally finding a way to completely heal from her old wounds, Sandra made it her mission to help others rise above their own trauma and live their lives free of anger, fear, and distress. Drawing from her personal experiences and her expertise as a holistic trauma coach, TIR facilitator, and spiritual development coach, Sandra discusses how it’s possible for others to let go and start living a happy, carefree life.

About Guest/Topic Sandra was only 12 when she was molested by a stable master who worked for her family. She was sexually assaulted again when she was 14, and then again when she was 18. When she was 22, the unthinkable happened--Sandra was raped.

Throughout all that pain and misery, Sandra never got the support she truly needed. It pushed her to the brink, and she allowed her depression to swallow her whole. It took one person to tell her “Get a quartz crystal” for her to start her journey of spirituality.

In this episode, Sandra talks about how she was able to rise above her own difficult trauma. She teaches the way not just to cope, but to truly let go.

In This Episode * Explore the causes and effects of sexual trauma * Discover how spirituality can create positive energy in you * Answer doubts and explore the search for the right spiritual path * Learn somatic practices that you can do to release your own trauma * An introduction to the benefits of reiki energy healing

Quotes "An experience without the pain is wisdom." (4:06)

“I felt like men can do whatever they wanted without consequence.” (9:07)

“If you're willing to just explore some ideas, to explore spirituality which has such a huge place in healing and if you’re open, you really will be guided.” (14:09)

“The more I learn, the more I understood what it really is. Because it's more than just a healing modality, it's the beginning of a spiritual journey.” (14:59)

"When a trigger comes out, embrace it because the trigger is basically a nudge from your whole system saying that this is something that needs to be addressed" (18:10)

"I'm not allowing it to take me over but I'm analyzing it. I'm dissociating from it.” (19:30)

Resources Mentioned Raising the Bottom (Book)

Raising the Bottom (Facebook group)

Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
The PBT Institute

Group: Women Hacking Betrayal

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Lisa Boucher’s career is anything but predictable. After a few short stints training polo horses and working as a flight attendant, a hairdresser, and a bartender, she decided to become a nurse—a profession she’s spent the past 29 years in, helping hundreds of people overcome alcoholism. Her fifth book, Raising the Bottom, is her response to traditional healthcare’s inability to offer genuine help to most people struggling with addiction.

About Guest/Topic The first time Lisa encountered betrayal, it took the form of a mother too deep in the bottle to provide guidance or support. Over the course of her life, she would struggle with betrayals as well as the unhealthy things she did to cope: drinking, drugs, and keeping the painfully familiar company of other addicts.

Yet another harsh betrayal—this time from her husband—finally got Lisa to stop sleepwalking through life. In this episode, Lisa talks about how betrayal and addiction beget each other and, more importantly, the principles and methods that helped her break that cycle.

In This Episode * How betrayal and addiction are linked to each other * Rethinking what self-care means * Understanding and avoiding patterns that lead to betrayal and addiction * Revisiting the twelve principles for overcoming addiction

Quotes “We feel good about ourselves by doing the next right thing for us. And that is self-care. I kind of get annoyed with the self-care of soaking in a bathtub—that never worked for me. I need to do something.” 13:03

“That is the worst thing you can do… To stay in your head. Get out of your head. Get out of yourself. They say depression is anger turned inward.”14:34

“Maladjusted emotions are why most people self-medicate… So in order to recover or find other healthier coping skills, you’ve got to dig deep and find some willingness to learn other coping skills.”16:30

“That is what drives behavior: pride, ego, fear. You get rid of those three things and people find a new life.” 21:51

Resources Mentioned Raising the Bottom (Book)

Raising the Bottom (Facebook group)

Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
The PBT Institute

Group: Women Hacking Betrayal

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Julie Michelson is an autoimmunity wellness expert who helps her clients achieve amazing transformations. She works internationally with clients through her remote coaching business, Julie Michelson Coaching.

About Guest/Topic Julie has gone through her own health struggles and she's excited to help her clients skip the hardship of figuring it out on their own so they can start living joyful lives of true wellness. To that end, she created the Inspired Living with Autoimmunity Framework to guide clients in making the necessary changes to reduce inflammation and optimize healing.

In today’s episode, Julie will share how to turn your autoimmune condition around and discuss the link between autoimmune conditions and betrayal.

In This Episode * Learn how to make simple lifestyle changes to improve your autoimmune condition * Discover four strategies to heal your autoimmune condition and improve your quality of life * Understand how and why the environment plays a big role in the rise of autoimmune conditions

Quotes “What I have found through working with people with autoimmunity is it's a really common issue, you know, that there's such a direct link between betrayal and how our body responds.” [2:57]

“It doesn't matter what kind [of meditation], it doesn't matter what your routine looks like. It's experimenting to find what works for you and being really regular with it.” [11:51]

“Our environment is not supporting our health, this is what's happening and toxicity plays a really big part of autoimmunity and triggering symptoms. There's an expression in functional medicine that genetics load the gun, but environment pulls the trigger.” [18:51]

“No matter what your diagnosis or how you feel when you wake up in the morning, you can turn it around. You can heal your body. There are things that you can do to take your power back. You're not helpless. You're not stuck. You don't need to be stuck.” [28:38]

Resources Mentioned Julie Michelson Coaching

The PBT Institute

Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Judith M. Costa teaches people how to love unconditionally. She holds an MBA and a master’s degree in psychology and psychotherapy and is certified in a wide range of therapeutic methods. She has hosted workshops, retreats, and talks all over the world to help people overcome their inner obstacles to loving.

About Guest/Topic With experience in techniques ranging from astrology to Akashic records to the Hawaiian approach to reconciliation called Ho’oponopono, Judith is no stranger to the many factors that keep people from forgiving others and, more importantly, themselves.

In today’s episode, she talks about the importance of looking inward and freeing ourselves from the idea that we are complicit in our own suffering or worse--that we need to suffer to earn someone’s love.

In This Episode * What happens during a consultation of the Akashic records? * How does Ho’oponopono work? * How does introspection lead to self-love? * How do self-love and relationships affect one another?

Quotes “We think that we need the other person in order to forgive, that we need an apology or that the person has to change their behavior. Everything starts within us. We are the only ones that need to do our part of the job.” [18:49]

“A lot of us are unaware of the way we treat ourselves. We are not even conscious of this inner dialog where we constantly criticize ourselves, judge ourselves, put ourselves down, beat ourselves up for any mistake.” [22:37]

“For a lot of us, the opinions that everyone else has about our lives are more important than our own opinion. And this is because we have been afraid of looking inside, not knowing what we are going to discover. And what you need to love someone is to know that person.” [23:59]

“I believe that a relationship is when two mature individuals share the love that they already have from themselves.” [26:26]

Resources Mentioned Judith M. Costa website

Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness

How Your Biggest Crisis Reveals Your Greatest Gift
Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the Quiz:

Group: Women Hacking Betrayal

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Lola Scarborough is a 500-hour certified yoga teacher and a co-owner of Yoga Lola Studios. She's also a certified life coach, an herbalist, a level three Reiki master, a novice astrologer, an ayurvedic consultant, and a certified ayurvedic practitioner.

About Guest/Topic Lola has witnessed what yoga, energy bodywork, and nutrition can do to maximize and restore health, allowing people to live their lives fully and richly. She's currently pursuing her Ph.D. in comparative religion.

In today’s episode, Lola talks about using your trauma to find meaning in life and finding strategies to help you heal.

In This Episode * Discover why it’s important to decide not to become a victim * Know how spirituality can be a big piece in your healing * Learn what you can use from your trauma to serve and help other people

Quotes “You always have the breakdown before you have the breakthrough.” [15:41]

“I was blessed with experiences that were very painful and had a huge impact on my psyche and in the formation of who I was because that's what I came here to do. And without it, I couldn't possibly do the things that I do now. I would not be as rich. I would not have the depth of character that I have. My big humanitarian instincts are shaped by the deprivation that we went through.” [23:11]

“If life is always lived in a comfort zone, if you don't get out and play in the playing field and get knocked around a little bit, I honestly believe you are only one-fourth alive and you're one-tenth of your potential. You have to take those challenges. You have to go to your knees. You have to feel your heart being broken and ripped out. You have to be open to having the experience of being fully human in order to be fully human.” [29:14]

“Living life to its fullest requires risk.” [29:51]

Resources Mentioned Yoga Lola Studios

Lola Scarborough

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the Quiz:

The PBT Institute

Women Hacking Betrayal

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Catherine Clinton is a licensed naturopathic physician with a focus on gut health, autoimmunity, and psycho-neuroimmunology. An author, speaker, and pediatric health advocate, Dr. Clinton practices in Eugene, Oregon. She has been published in multiple peer-reviewed medical journals and has contributed to several publications as a guest writer.

About Guest/Topic While she was in medical school, Catherine was diagnosed with and healed from an autoimmune disease that affects the gastrointestinal tract. This experience left her with a passion to promote gut health and psycho-neuroimmune balance in children everywhere.

In today’s episode, Catherine will share how self-betrayal manifests its physical symptoms and why it is so crucial to pay attention to what your body is saying.

In This Episode * Know what self-betrayal and medical betrayal looks like * Learn why the body responds to your mind in a specific manner * Discover ways to respond to your body’s messages

Quotes “Listen to the body, listen to the signs. It's always telling us something. It's always on our side.” [4:06]

“We talk so much about trauma, these days, and how it can increase inflammation and increase our chances for autoimmune diseases and chronic inflammation and chronic disease. It doesn't have to be those big Ts, it can be something like I'm describing, you know, it doesn't have to be these huge losses or these big, big T Traumas, right? It can be the little t traumas that go unresolved.” [9:37]

“Are you okay physically? And if so, let's look at what else might be happening, and sometimes it's a great reminder, you know? It was that protective mom on my shoulder giving me some anxious feelings because I hadn't gotten enough sleep, I hadn't attended to my physical body.” [12:04]

“A huge part of healing is to have a trusted practitioner that you feel safe with. That's where the healing begins.” [22:26]

Resources Mentioned Facebook

WellFuture

HeartMath

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Transformation starts when you tell yourself the truth. When you know yourself and your limitations, the path to healthy weight loss becomes much easier. If you're feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, overweight, or unhappy, you're going to really appreciate Dr. Debi’s guest for today’s episode, Jennifer Powter.

About Guest/Topic Jennifer Powter is a Diet Disruptor who coaches successful women to finally understand their relationship with food so they can break free of emotional eating, lose weight for good, and stop feeling held back by their weight.

Jennifer holds a Master’s Degree and is a qualified clinical exercise physiologist, a double certified health and life coach, and an emotional intelligence practitioner with decades of success helping women all over the world.

Jennifer’s revolutionary metabolic profile index assessment gives clients an easy-to-understand breakdown of the science behind their physiological transformation, helping them achieve this in simple, actionable steps.

On This Episode * Discover how Jennifer Powter tapped into her inner strength to gain true transformation * Be inspired to create the change necessary to live a happier life and to make personal choices that align with your values * Learn simple strategies that yield big results when it comes to looking, feeling, and being better

Quotes “The body doesn't lie. You're always getting messages from your body.” [6:57]

“If I wanted anything to change, it was up to me. And that's, you know, when you take responsibility, of course, that's when you're taking your power back. And that's, that's where change happens.” [13:23]

“I had to radically redesign my expectations about what change looked like for me, and to recognize what women expect to occur in a month versus being patient to the kind of change that you can create in a year with consistency and persistence.” [14:56]

“When life is not adding up, it's time to start subtracting.” [21:49]

“Whatever you're resisting, you can mask it, hide it, whatever, but it will persist until you face it, deal with it. Come to terms with it, get honest about it. ” [24:52]

“Comparing hurt me. Comparing myself to others hurt me. So I really developed a skill set of not allowing myself to think thoughts or engage in that trap because it took all of my positive feelings away. So often with my clients, I say in less, don't let anything into your feed, you know, your social media feed or into your mindset feed that lets you feel like crap about yourself because that's just, it's a way to halt all progress.” [29:43]

Resources Mentioned Diet Disruption Book

www.jenniferpowter.com

Dr. Debi’s new book: Trust Again

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Noelle Cordeaux is the CEO and co-founder of JRNI Coaching. She's also a feminist scholar, ICF certified coach, speaker, and sexologist who specializes in the relationship with the self. She has carved out a unique niche in the world of coaching combining positive psychology with clinical sexology. Noelle holds a B.A. in Literature from Rutgers University and a Graduate Certificate in Executive and Professional Coaching from the University of Texas at Dallas.

About Guest/Topic Our brain has some incredibly powerful chemicals that are making us think, feel, react, and respond the way we do. Noelle is going to discuss and shed some light on how to manage our minds, so we can control the chemical surges that give us those great big highs, as well as those great big lows. In today’s episode, she will talk about the three things every woman needs in her breakup survival kit

In This Episode * Learn about the brain chemicals that play a role in romance * Know how to achieve a person’s - physical, mental, the emotional best state * Discover how to manage these brain chemicals to feel more in control, balanced and happy

Quotes “When we first fall in love, we experience a lot of chemical changes that take place in the brain.” [4:28]

“When your serotonin levels have dropped, you're going to experience focused attention.” [6:01]

“Something that I found absolutely fascinating is that - in humans, the deeper the verbal, emotional connection, it grows a part of your brain that supports pair bonding.” [7:19]

“So step one, get off your phones, put your phone away, when you come home.” [17:51]

“Women cry, withdraw socially, and lose weight sometimes, and they have a need to retell their story over and over.” [23:08]

“These are very powerful brain chemicals.” [30:59]

Resources Mentioned JRNI Website

JRNI Podcast

Noelle Cordeaux Website

Dr. Debi’s new book: Trust Again

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Amanda Testa is a sex, love, and relationship expert, and founder of Find Your Feminine Fire. Her methods bridge ancient tantric tools combined with the latest in neuroscience to help high performing women ditch the guilt and unworthiness and embody confidence, radiance, and vitality in all areas of their life.

About Guest/Topic Amanda’s life mission is to help women reconnect to their feminine fire, so she created her signature Feminine Fire Method. She believes that sexuality is the missing key in personal growth and development. In today’s episode, she will discuss body betrayal and ways to regain a woman’s self-esteem.

In This Episode * Learn how to get your confidence back after a betrayal experience * Discover how you can reconnect to your body and senses through awareness * Know how you can walk through the five senses ritual

Quotes “It's always a beautiful thing to become a parent. But the other part of it that a lot of times isn't talked about is how you know the struggles around redefining who you are.” [4:04]

“I think I just had kind of lost my identity after becoming a mother.” [6:30]

“This is not just about having sex. It's about connecting to that essence of who you are, and your radiance and your lifeforce.” [8:28]

“A lot of times, it's just being able to move forward, because you fall into that survival mode.” [10:41]

“It's just rewiring yourself for pleasure that you're worthy of it, that you deserve it.” [15:09]

“When you really learn to embrace that part of you, it kind of spreads out into other areas.” [19:51]

“Because when you're present, and you are in your body, and you're enjoying all your senses, there's such an innate joy in that.” [21:52]

“Pleasure is such a huge key. It's like a vital nutrient you need; your daily dose of vitamin D.” [26:47]

Resources Mentioned Amanda Testa Website

Sensuality Download

Find Your Feminine Fire Podcast

Dr. Debi’s new book: Trust Again

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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After losing his 19-year-old son Connor in 2018, Jonathon Aslay’s grief led him on a soul searching inner journey, where he became aware of an often-overlooked dimension of the dating conversation. He realized that the process of dating reveals the most common emotional health issue faced by many singles seeking a partner, a distressing lack of self-worth, self-regard, and self-love.

About Guest/Topic The focus of America's leading midlife dating coach has expanded into a deeper essential philosophy of what it truly means to love. In today’s episode, he is going to discuss dating after divorce, but more importantly, how to bring your best self to the process.

In This Episode * Learn how heartbreak is packed with fun engaging spiritual and personal growth practices. * Discover a dynamic midlife love mastery mentorship program that inspires hundreds of people daily around the world

Quotes “I thought you could plug exactly what you want and someone would magically appear.” [4:35]

“I leaned into a relationship and found myself so not ready.” [5:45]

“I was betraying myself this whole time. I was betraying who I was by not really discovering who I was as a sovereign soul person” [8:07]

“You know, healing is like peeling an onion. It's a continual process. For me, it's a daily practice.” [8:37]

“As any parent listening to this knows, our greatest fear, or, you know, for the worst nightmare is the idea of losing a child or losing our children.” [14:00]

“I want to say that the motivating factor is I know my son would never want me to suffer and to be stuck.” [17:49]

“What is the point of suffering? There is no point in it.” [19:20]

“Forgiveness is forgiving love, and then giving love to others.” [20:45]

“Whenever I'm feeling uneasy or when something is agitating me, I give myself love.” [21:46]

“It's good for you because being in love is actually how we shift into inner peace.” [24:13]

“I am tired of this and I'm going to choose my inner peace; it is the way I want to navigate life.” [32:12]

Resources Mentioned Jonathon Aslay Website

What The Heck Is Self Love Anyway

Jonathon Aslay Youtube Channel

Dr. Debi’s new book: Trust Again

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Dr. Veronique Desaulniers (also known as Dr. V), is the founder of Breast Cancer Conqueror, the 7 Essentials System®, and co-founder of My Breast Friend™. Her signature process has empowered thousands of women in over 42 countries around the world.

She has been in the Wellness Industry for over 40 years, beginning with her Chiropractic degree in 1979. Dr. V has also pursued extensive studies in various fields of Energy Medicine. Her specialty in Chiropractic, Bio-Energetics, Meridian Stress Analysis, Homeopathy, and Digital Thermography gives Dr. V a unique approach to Health and Wellness.

About Guest/Topic Dr. V has personally conquered breast cancer twice, which gives her an empathetic perspective to understand other women facing a healing journey.

In today’s episode, she is going to walk us through the seven essentials of healing breast cancer, while helping you reduce your fear and become the healthiest version of you possible.

In This Episode * Know about breast cancer and how it doesn't define you * Learn how one can heal from it and not fear it * Discover how interconnected the body and mind are

Quotes “I knew right away and there was no doubt in my mind that I was going to do everything outside of traditional medicine.” [5:42]

“My big passion and mission right now is to tell women that they do not ever need to fear breast cancer again.” [7:55]

“Essential number two is to reduce your toxic exposure.” [9:58]

“Traditional medicine has created this picture that, you know, your hormones are driving this cancer.” [11:32]

“Give yourself time to accept the diagnosis. Look at your options, do your research, pray about it.” [14:06]

“We can be bitter or better about it. And see that really, it's a gift that, you know, cancer can be a message of love.” [16:15]

“This is where we really get into the science and evidence-based natural medicine.” [19:22]

“Some women just absolutely have 1,000% trust and belief in traditional medicine. And that's okay because that's their choice.” [27:54]

Resources Mentioned

Breast Cancer Conqueror Website

Breast Cancer Conqueror Facebook Group

Breast Cancer Conqueror Instagram Account

Dr. Debi’s new book: Trust Again

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Dr. Sandra Scheinbaum founded the Functional Medicine Coaching Academy in collaboration with the Institute for functional medicine, a licensed clinical psychologist for over 35 years she taught graduate-level courses in the psychology of eating and Mind-Body medicine.

About Guest/Topic Dr. Sandra is passionate about transforming healthcare by training health coaches to integrate the positive psychology model of coaching with the functional medicine approach to reversing chronic illness.

In today’s episode, Dr. Sandra will discuss what you can do with feelings of frustration, anger, and dark emotions, and turn it to something more beneficial and happy.

In This Episode * Know how to plan for a negative exchange * Learn how to rewire the mind’s responses to break the negative painful loop that keeps a person stuck and unhappy

Quotes “We make ourselves miserable, but it's often very hard to see that.” [3:54]

“We can't prevent or control what somebody is going to say to us.” [6:48]

“What I can do at that moment is to choose how I'm going to react. I can plan beforehand. In other words, it's called stress inoculation.” [8:36]

“Because the truth is that nobody can make you feel a certain way. A situation can't make you feel bad.” [13:18]

“You can make that choice to say, I, my power is in my control, I'm in control of my thoughts.” [17:34]

“There's this huge Mind-Body connection. Thoughts are then producing a physiological response.” [28:33]

“It is just like a bad habit, and you can get out of those habits.” [31:26]

Resources Mentioned Dr. Sandra Scheinbaum’s Website

Dr. Debi’s new book Trust Again

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Heather Burgett is an award-winning publicist, international speaker, and the host of "The Shine Strategy" podcast. She is also the founder and CEO of The Burgett Group and PR Stars. Over the past two decades, she has represented Grammy® and Oscar® winners, authors, billionaires, philanthropists, rockstars, top brands, and more.

In her online PR Stars Programs, Heather guides soulful consultants and creatives into the mainstream spotlight by teaching them how to shine, become more visible, and impact the world with their messages. Heather is a recipient of the prestigious PRism Award from the PR Society of America and is a member of the Forbes Business Council.

About Guest/Topic Heather has created a new take on PR by bringing a spiritual focus to this particular field of marketing. She helps people identify, claim, and own their unique gifts for the benefit of themselves and those around them.

On today’s episode, Heather discusses her realizations about betrayal and the wounds it inflicts on those who suffer from it, and how showing vulnerability actually presents inner strength.

On This Episode * Learn how to remove yourself from a toxic environment * Recognize the signs that you are healing from Post-Betrayal Syndrome * Listen to Heather’s personal story of betrayal and how she overcame it

Quotes “Tell your stories, put them out into the spotlight, and by showing that vulnerability, that’s where our super strengths come from.” [5:13]

“You are on a speeding train, but on the wrong tracks. I knew that I was going to be kicked off of that path no matter what because it was not the right path ” [20:58]

“I just want to experience life with joy, no more struggles. It’s a choice to learn through joy” [26:29]

Resources Mentioned Heather Burgett Podcast

Heather Burget Free Course

Heather Burget Quiz

Dr. Debi’s new book: Trust Again

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Tricia Nelson is an emotional eating expert whose program revolves around identifying and healing the underlying causes of emotional eating. She has spent over 30 years researching the hidden causes of the addictive personality and after losing 50 pounds, decided to share her secret to weight loss. She also certifies health coaches so they can get better results, referrals, and revenue by helping their clients overcome emotional eating.

About Guest/Topic Tricia is the author of the number one best-selling book Heal Your Hunger: 7 Simple Steps to End Emotional Eating Now. She is also the host of the popular podcast the Heal Your Hunger Show and has been featured on NBC, CBS, KTLA, FOX, and Discovery Health.

In today’s episode, Tricia will discuss how to understand and heal from your emotional eating and why it is worth it to create a healthy relationship with food.

In This Episode * Discover why painful emotions often lead to emotional eating * Know how to identify the underlying causes of emotional eating * Learn what steps you can take to refrain from using food to cope

Quotes “We can't always be running from our feelings or from our reality like, we have to stop and face it… But the thing is if we stop and face it… it’ll never chase you again.” [15:48]

“It's never as bad as we perceive it to be. It will get better and those feelings will subside and especially if we have healthy ways to deal with them instead of just stuffing them with food.” [16:36]

“If we start taking care of our limits and have boundaries on our time and stop trying to be all things to all people? Guess what? We're going to start being more self-respecting. We're going to be feeling better physically because we're not taxing our bodies. And we're going to realize that we can be lovable being heroes or sheroes.” [21:36]

“If I'm starting to really tune in and care about how I feel later and start acting accordingly. That's a gift to myself and it's a gift that keeps on giving because that will just, when you do something good for yourself you feel a little bit better and then you want to do something good for yourself and it just snowballs into a whole new way of living.” [24:58]

“It's so freeing when they're no longer compelled to eat. It's a choice and they choose not to.” [31:10]

Resources Mentioned Heal Your Hunger Free Quiz

Heal Your Hunger Show

Dr. Debi’s new book: Trust Again

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Allana Pratt is an intimacy expert, global media personality and go to authority for those who have suffered heartbreak and are ready to live unapologetically and attract an ideal relationship. She is the author of six books, has interviewed Whoopi Goldberg and Alanis Morissette and hosts edgy podcast intimate conversations where listeners learn how to find the relationship they deserve. She is a certified coach with close to 500 million viewers on YouTube.

About Guest/Topic Her vulnerability and courage landed her a featured weekly column on the Good Men Project as an icon of influence. And as guest expert on Huffington Post, People Magazine, Forbes, CBS and Fox and the Jenny McCarthy show.

In today’s episode, Allana will discuss what happens to a person when he/she realizes that all of the external validations don't do anything to confirm how lovable worthy and deserving people really are.

In This Episode * Learn how a person can be centered, empowered, confident and ecstatically happy * Discover heartbreak, shame, anger and betrayal - what people need and how they can recover from it * Know how to navigate intense emotions

Quotes “If the stove is hot, don't sit your ass on the stove.” [3:09]

“If there's a pile of shit, and you go into the barn and the little the parents are like, gross, but the kid is like -- yay, there's a pony in there somewhere.” [5:37]

“Vulnerability is actually a superpower.” [10:02]

“We treat each other with kindness, there's so many different people who will hate me instantly or love me instantly.” [25:16]

“You've got to be able to learn to keep your heart open and lean in and communicate with kindness with curiosity.” [27:52]

Resources Mentioned HeartMates App Website

The PBT Institute Website

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Alex Jamieson is the bestselling author of five books, and co-creator / co-star of the Oscar-nominated documentary Super Size Me. She is a highly-sought-after success mentor and motivational guide for thousands and has made it her mission to empower women to create epic lives. Her work has been praised by Oprah, The Today Show, Dr. Oz, Goop, Martha Stewart Living, the New York Times, CNN, Elle, Marie Claire, USA Today, People, and many others. She is the host of Her Rules Radio, a #1 rated podcast and an award-winning watercolor painter who has created commissioned works for clients around the world.

About Guest/Topic As a life-long learner, Alex Jamieson’s wellness expertise has grown out of a decade of experience, as well as her education at the Natural Gourmet Institute, the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, and a certification in Applied Positive Psychology. She reconnected with her desires to create art and a sustainable business that was authentically aligned with who she is -- publishing new books, selling paintings, and helping other women to mine their own lives for the gold that’s their “profitable purpose”. In today’s episode, Alex will talk about how to handle tough conversations, so everyone wins.

In This Episode * Learn how how to use Alex’s model to have empowering conversations where everyone wins * Discover how to overcome the feeling of being challenged and not end up avoiding tough conversations * Understand the roles of being a speaker and a listener for better communication

Quotes “I was three years old when my family was riddled with trauma and suicides, and we have lots of mental health issues.” [4:52]

“In my early 30s, with a toddler in tow, I started to see how my inability to talk about tough topics had led to so much betrayal in my relationship, and, and I started to connect the dots backward, like, oh, this is a pattern.” [7:00]

“We decided very early even as we were dating, we do not want to replicate the terrible relationship dynamics of the past.” [10:50]

“It's such a huge difference to be able to really share all my fears and worries and know that he's not going to take it personally, even if it involves us.” [19:43]

“I have tried to approach people with this conversation structure about really big important topics with people I've known for years, and they are immediately defensive.” [25:51]

Resources Mentioned Alex Jamieson Website

Radical Alignment Book

The PBT Institute Website

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Catherine Plano is committed to help as many individuals like you to transform and create a vibrant, fulfilling life by tapping into their superpowers, finding the leader within and drawing on their greatest assets to bring out their fullest possible potential. She believes that traditional paradigms of leadership are outdated and no longer suited for today’s high-paced, tech-savvy environments.

About Guest/Topic Catherine believes that there is a real science and an alchemy approach to leadership. She learned so much along her journey in leadership over the 25 years working with corporations and running her own company. She shares her wisdom and those ‘aha’ moments and insights through her books, blogs, podcasts, programmes and workshops.

In today’s episode, Catherine will talk about how people are at the cutting edge of new models of leadership that are changing the world for the better, growing corporations to new heights and creating healthier lives for all of us.

In This Episode * Know about betrayal, and most importantly, what people can do with it * Learn how to effectively deal with the emotions that need our attention * Discover how betrayal can lead to your biggest crisis, and also, your greatest gift

Quotes “I was very much in that victim mentality.” [3:14]

“I did this whole attacking me and I'm sure that some people experienced the same thing.” [7:09]

“And so the only way for me to move forward from betrayal was to fill my cup up, and then not be in that victim mentality to start shifting my mindset.” [9:26]

“I am human. I did allow myself to get angry, to cry, to have these little tantrums. But what I do is I give myself time.” [11:20]

“I felt this real pure sense of love and I really focused on my heart center, where it was just really visualized that my heart was just being filled with love.” [16:27]

“I did things that lit me up the things that made me happy.” [20:10]

“I always say that you have to take the first step and you have to give trust.” [28:17]

“You know, things within our timeline, these emotional, significant events have taken place. And I think if we come from a place of love, always from a place of within the heart, we can heal anything.” [30:52]

Resources Mentioned Catherine Plano Website

The PBT Institute Website

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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During yesterday’s Q&A session, an odd question came up. I was asked how someone can identify when thinking about something negative has become an indulgence. I always say, “Face it. Feel it. Heal it.” But there certainly comes a point where you’ve had enough negativity, and any more of it could be detrimental to your well-being. So, how do you know when it’s time to stop? That’s what we’ll be talking about today.

On This Episode * Identify how thinking negative thoughts can reach a point of indulgence * Understand how repeatedly thinking a certain way creates neural connections * Learn how to deviate from negative thought loops

Quotes “Let’s say, there’s a negative thought and you don’t want to run from it, but how do you know when you’ve kind of thought about it as much as you can?” [1:00]

“Indulgence sounds so mean but here’s why it’s an indulgence. Once you’ve thought about it often enough, what happens is you’re creating these neural connections, these loops in your brain… and they become hardwired. [2:40]

“If you ruthlessly commit and say, ‘It doesn’t matter. I am dedicating myself and my time to walk on this path and I will not go on that other path again.’ Eventually--think about it--that new path will be as well-worn as the first. But now it’s taking you somewhere, potentially, somewhere so much better.” [4:21]

“What you want to do is you want to think up the most amazing picture that gives you a sense of peace and calm. Either a scenario, a situation, an image. Just some sort of visual... You want to picture that scene, and now you want to infuse it with as much color and emotion and using every sense you have to make it so bold, so bright, so vibrant. Once you have that image, that feeling, you want to lock it into your mind.” [6:08]

“This takes practice, and it takes consistency, and it takes repetition. But can it be done? A hundred percent.” [11:05]

Resources The PBT Institute Website

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Betsy Wiersma is known for BIG IDEA thinking and ROI: Return on Ideas. After years of service leading the national events industry on the President's Council for the International Festivals and Events Association, the Advisory Board for Special Events Magazine and with ISES, the International Special Events Society, Betsy now focuses on Wiersma Experience Marketing, her own consulting and event marketing company based in Denver, CO.

Author of many books including the event textbook, Exceptional Events: Concept to Completion, Betsy's seminars provide event producers and marketers across the globe with everything from basic tips to complex case studies.

She now focuses on her 15-year-old CampExperience™ Network which hosts educational retreats and has supported the lives of over 5000 women. The CampExperience™ Network has raised over $1 million cash and in-kind support for women’s charities in Colorado and around the world. Betsy’s 2018 recognition includes the Francis Jacobs Wisebart Award for Philanthropy from Mile High United Way and the 25 Most Powerful Women in Colorado from Colorado Women’s Chamber of Commerce. In 2019 she was featured as a Ted-X speaker on the topic “Choose Your Family, Change Your Life.”

In This Episode * Understand the opportunity that comes with betrayal * Discover the three powerful lessons that someone can learn from betrayal * Know how everything starts with passion, and why it’s important to do what you love to do most

Quotes “I'm gonna have my own business.” [3:25]

“What can I do in the world to give me that freedom and flexibility and came up with something called the camp experience network.” [4:43]

“We call it connecting instead of networking,” [7:42]

“And it was so shocking. I didn't even know what to do.” [10:54]

“I have tons and tons of great friends. But I have a very, very small inner circle. ” [14:07]

“Pay attention to what is true.” [15:58]

“I think that everything is on purpose.” [16:55]

“Trust that everything will be okay.” [17:10]

“Because of so much love that you give out, you never maybe could see some of the circumstances, because you saw through love.” [18:03]

“If you're just wherever you are in the world, start with something you're passionate about.” [21:42]

“I just believe everybody is 100% whole and complete, like everybody is perfect.” [27:18]

Resources Betsy Wiersma Website

Camp Experience Facebook Page

Betsy Weirsma Facebook

Camp Experience Youtube Channel

The PBT Institute Membership Community
The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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We know that unhealed betrayals adversely affect our relationships and, possibly, even our health. The pain of betrayal can affect every single aspect of your life, and that includes the professional side. Today, I want to talk about the seven ways unhealed betrayals can adversely affect your business. Some of these you may have already figured out, but a few may come as a surprise.

On This Episode

Identify seven ways your business can be affected by unhealed betrayals
See how you can take another step towards healing from betrayal
Discover the nature of your belief system and regain your confidence and self esteem

Quotes

“If you’re not feeling worthy and deserving, how comfortable are you putting yourself out there, as far as, sharing the great work you do. You don’t feel great about you, so how can you represent the work in a way that it needs to be showcased? And here’s the thing, too. If you don’t believe in you, how can you possibly expect anybody else to?” [4:05]

“Your belief system is no more than the repetition of an idea from someone you trust. That’s it. The repetition of an idea from someone you trust, so what that means is someone said something enough times, doesn’t make it right or wrong, doesn’t make it true, doesn’t make it really much of anything except it makes it yours.” [6:09]

“So I want to go through the seven and what I invite you to do is choose even just one, even just one, so you can work on that one. Here’s the thing, you’re not going to heal from your whole betrayal just working on one of these areas, but at least it’s a step in the right direction.” [8:02]

“Remember that betrayals shattered your confidence. And if you don’t have the confidence, how are you putting yourself out there in a way that you need to, to get your message across?” [8:40]

Resources

The PBT Institute Website

The PBT Institute Membership Community
The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Dr. Debi’s new book: Trust Again (and bonus gifts)

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Kathy Hammond is a 27-year veteran stepmom, writer, speaker, and award-winning author. In her second book, How to Kill Your Husband’s Ex, Attorneys, and Then Some: Ass Kickin’ Advice for Stepmoms, Kathy delivers a uniquely off-center perspective and advice for stepmoms to keep their sanity and money intact in challenging stepfamily arrangements. Kathy has an M.A. in Organizational Management and speaks and writes on motivation, goal setting, and goal attainment. She is the CEO of a recruitment solution firm in Southern California, where she lives with her husband, John. Kathy is stepmom to two, now grown, sons.

On This Episode * How to navigate the often tricky road of stepparenting * How to take on the new role of stepparent * What to do and what not to do when disciplining stepchildren

Quotes “You know, it's a dysfunctional arrangement, to begin with.” [1:51]

“I'm not trying to replace their mom, how do you balance that? How do you negotiate that? You don't pretend that you're their parent.” [4:00]

“It takes people time to get used to the situation.” [8:19]

“You need to empathize. One of the things that I also recommend too is for stepmoms to encourage their spouses, to sit down with the ax once a year, at least.” [10:22]

“The adults who are supposed to be protecting these kids are behaving like kids.” [19:08]

“It takes time to develop any relationship.” [21:54]

“I think that anytime we get involved, we actually make things worse.” [26:50]

Resources Kathy Hammond Website

The PBT Institute Membership Community
The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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The most amazing questions come up in the PBT Membership Community when I hold our weekly live “coffee chats” and it’s always an interesting conversation. This came up recently and I have a feeling it will serve you too. So often, we have that nagging, inner voice; an inner critic that keeps commenting on what we’re doing, what we’re thinking, how we’re behaving, all of it. What do we do about that? Today, I invite you to do two things to help address this.

On This Episode * Discover how to manage that persistent, inner critic in our mind * Understand why critical thoughts pop up * Learn two practical techniques to quiet that internal negative voice

Quotes “The first thing is you want to become aware of what you’re saying to yourselves. Are you saying kind, loving thoughts? Are you saying nasty, critical thoughts?” [0:52]

“Do you hear that negative, critical voice? Does it sound familiar? Do you know where that voice is coming from? We can’t change what we are unaware of. So once you know what you’re dealing with, then say ‘Does this serve me anymore?’ and if I’ve outgrown it. Just because it’s been a belief for so long, doesn’t mean we have to keep it.” [2:56]

“So if a majority of our thoughts are based on these negative beliefs, think about how it’s showing up throughout your day, think about the choices you’re making, think about the conversations you’re having with other people, think about the decisions you’re making based on these beliefs.” [3:44]

“Even if you catch ten times throughout the day of you being judgmental or critical with yourself, that’s ten opportunities to change them to something better and say something loving.” [5:58]

“We’re always learning and growing. So why not be a little gentler, a little kinder with ourselves?” [7:19]

Resources

The PBT Institute Website

The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Holly Jean Jackson helps entrepreneurs and business leaders love their life and business again. With over 12 years of technology and business experience, she helps business leaders get their groove back physically, mentally, and emotionally. She does this through a combined approach of both coaching and consulting, providing practical and actionable results. She also helps in fear and frustration with technology. Holly also teaches her clients to remember self-care is essential, not optional.

In This Episode * Understand how a person can learn from her own betrayals and use that information to change health, relationships, and life. * Know how to create awareness around your behavior * Discover the possibilities of how something really good can happen from something really bad

Quotes “There's a lot of pain from the past. I had some health challenges, but my biggest betrayal was I was married for about six years.” [3:01]

“A lot of rages, a lot of feeling worthless, feeling clueless feeling like my life was over.” [3:31]

“I think I needed time in a safe space alone to collect my thoughts and figure out what I needed to do next.” [6:20]

“We're so filled with shame or embarrassment, or whatever it is, and we suffer and struggle in silence” [7:11]

“I just went backpacking alone, because I knew that the biggest fear I needed to face was my own mental chatter, my own anxiety, and if I could face that I could face anything.” [11:35]

“I kept a lot of space and distance to make sure I still kept my self-care standards.” [15:12]

“He knew I was in Celebrate Recovery for codependency. He knew that I was working on making sure that I had healthy boundaries.” [16:26]

“He made me feel like the best version of myself versus the worst version of myself.” [17:21]

“I wanted to break that pattern and empower other people that were having that same experience to get their health back because you can't really do anything successfully if you don't have your health.” [26:00]

“You're not alone.” [28:20]

“Let's share inspiration instead of all of the crazy negativity in the world.” [29:36]

Resources Holly Jean Jackson Website

Inspiration Contagion

The PBT Institute Membership Community
The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Heather Aardemer is a board-certified, functional medicine certified health coach and the founder of Root of Well Being. She's an aspiring minimalist, a real food advocate and a big fan of living a lighter life. Powerful principles of minimalism, simplicity, positive psychology and functional nutrition are woven throughout her work. Today, it's her passion to help other women in their prime release the complication and clutter that's been weighing them down so that they can make space for the things that matter most. She does this work through her private client coaching and weight loss sisterhood, where she guides women towards weight loss breakthroughs by helping them release the clutter in their heads, their hearts, their kitchens, and helps them get to the root of living the lives they love.

On This Episode * Discover how betrayal and a minimalist lifestyle correlate with each other * Learn the strategies of how to unclutter your mind, body and life after betrayal * Learn simple tips to become freer, lighter and happier than you’ve ever been before

Quotes “If I want to be competitive, I need to release some of these pounds.” [6:35]

“I really just think my body was saying, you know what, Heather with your body chemistry because it's always my chemistry that is unique to the next person to the next lesson. We just can't tolerate all this stuff.” [08:38]

“And I felt for a long time like this is a betrayal. Why is my body doing this? I'm strong. I'm fierce, powerful. I'm a fast runner. Why is my body saying slow down?” [12:41]

“I can't believe how lucky I am now that I get to work with women who are willing to adjust the clutter in their life.” [16:15]

“We have so much on our plate, we are living these overloaded, addicted to busy lives.” [22:00]

“Sometimes people think of it as frugality. But really, what it is, is just getting rid of the things that aren't serving us so that we can focus on the things that we want to, the things that mean the most.” [26:57]

“Find that white space, find that quiet space and ask yourself what matters most to you.” [31:21]

Resources Root of Well Being Website

The PBT Institute Membership Community
The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Trust Again-Debi’s new book (and great bonus gifts!)

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Carolyn Herfurth does her part to flatten the curve. She stands shoulder-to-shoulder with six and seven figure business owners who want to pivot to their next level of growth. She's a pro when it comes to seeing the opportunities and crafting new revenue streams. She works with women and helps them grow in scale, and launch their businesses.

In This Episode * Understand how you may be betraying yourself in business * Know what to do to communicate authentically and in congruence with who you are and what you’re offering * Understand why sometimes business simply doesn't work

Quotes “There's a lot of cultivation of self doubt, and shame and repression, and that shows up required, requiring you to surrender your own judgment to that of others.” [3:01]

“Women can be bro marketers.” [4:53]

“I talked about bro marketing is any type of behavior that feels manipulative.” [7:07]

“There's just this system of bro tactics and strategies that we've all been like, it's like seeing air. It's just like you don't see it. You don't know it's there. But you know, it's there.” [9:24]

“I'm typically not going to have a client who's doing something that feels super incongruent because I would never ask them to do it.” [15:22]

“When you're aligned when you're speaking the way you're supposed to be speaking, it just kind of works.” [21:23]

“ I think a lot of betrayal is people coming up with excuses not to invest in themselves.” [22:53]

“It never really worked because the full transformation didn't happen.” [28:03]

“If you can look at a coach as a thought partner, someone who's going to ask insightful questions and help you get to see where your blocks are and where you're getting caught up and kind of like not going through the evolution but staying stuck in one little spot. I just think that's incredibly important.” [32:35]

Resources Carolyn Herfurth Website

The PBT Institute Membership Community
The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Post-Betrayal Syndrome is the collection of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms common to betrayal. So many people (all ages and from so many different countries) have taken the assessment to see to what extent they're struggling. Almost everyone who takes the quiz struggles with some type of physical, mental, or emotional issue after their experience. What I see so often is our first line of defense is to take something to medicate, numb, distract ourselves, or to do anything just to try to mask the pain. But more often than not, this can manifest into something physical that can greatly affect our entire well-being.

In This Episode * Know why it's almost impossible to not have symptoms after a betrayal * Learn the way out of the trauma from a betrayal experience * Discover how the latest physical issues stem from the mental and emotional issues

Quotes “When you think about it, isn't a betrayal difficult to digest, absorb, and process?” [5:14]

There are five stages you will go through when you're healing from betrayal. You can't skip them. You can't avoid them. You can't change the order of them. It's just what will happen as you move through it.” [9:40]

“What we need to do is heal it at the root.” [13:16]

“Even though it happened to you, it's not about you.” [16:08]

Resources The PBT Institute Membership Community
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Scott Mason is the son of a Mid-western civil servant and a factory worker. History and triumphs against adversity led to his unlikely and unexpected success as an attorney, government official, entrepreneur, and community leader in one of the toughest cities on Earth.

He is currently a motivational and keynotes speaker, small business consultant leadership mentor, with a publication of a book discussing resilience, the universal mind, and toxic masculinity, which is set for publication later this year.

His journey has floated in the face of those who believed he could not and should not succeed. And it has given him zealot passion for ensuring that others never lose the internal fuel that will rocket them to ultimate levels of personal satisfaction and success.

In This Episode * Learn what happens to us physically, mentally and emotionally when we shed the need for force * Discover how a lot of things related to the thinking around toxic masculinity, and how people can use change. * Understand toxic masculinity and how it represents the characteristics that are associated with traditional versions of manhood

Quotes “By belittling, domination and abuse of others, power for its own sake, not powerful instincts to further a social cause or to better the world.” [3:03]

“Change is sustainable because people are engaged with it, like it.” [5:47]

“I personally believe we're at a profound inflection point around these issues, and our culture.” [8:38]

“They framed it in a way so that I never, as a child, my youngest ages, felt betrayed.” [13:00]

“At first, a challenge I've had earlier parts of my life is developing a sense of grievance, and holding on to that grievance.” [15:13]

“Acknowledging that I have fear as a man is for me, is very, very difficult” [17:36]

“Identity is the core of who we are.” [19:53]

“I would never have imagined that I would or could be an entrepreneur, I assumed, oh entrepreneurs, the people that work for themselves. They're just doing that because they can't work for other people, or everyone hates him.” [26:17]

“Don't be afraid of change. If you feel like you need to change, you need to dive in, do it. Tomorrow is gonna be okay.” [29:12]

Resources Scott Mason Website

The PBT Institute Membership Community
The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Post Betrayal Syndrome is the collection of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms common to betrayal. So many people (all ages and from so many different countries) have taken the assessment to see to what extent they're struggling. Almost everyone who takes the quiz struggles with some type of physical, mental, or emotional issue after their experience. Nutrition and fitness may not be a priority as so many other issues need to be tended to but when we feel we’ve lost a sense of control, eating healthier and moving to happen to be two areas that help us regain a sense of control.

In This Episode * Discover how nutrition and fitness are important components of the healing process * See how gaining control over our health and fitness gives us a sense of control we lost due to a betrayal * Learn how betrayal impacts physical, mental and emotional symptoms and how fitness helps get it back * Know how a person can release trauma through somatic/body-based practices

Quotes “The issues are in the tissues. Trauma gets stuck in the body, and it can be trauma from decades ago.” [3:14]

“There are different types of breathwork which can definitely help and make you feel so good.” [4:21]

“It can give you a sense of control during a time where you feel like control has been taken away.” [6:08]

Resources The PBT Institute Membership Community
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Dani Max has become an influential figure for many young adults because of her personal transformation at an early age. Her workshops, memberships, speaking events, products, and coaching programs are all designed to help other young people with their happiness, confidence, self-esteem, and identity. Dani hopes to continue changing lives one person at a time about coming out happy.

Coming Out Happy is an 18+ online community where you can truly be yourself without judgment or fear. She offers weekly zoom events teaching passion, personal development, fun activities, and chats to give people the space to make friends feel confident and find the community they deserve.

In This Episode * Learn the challenges of denying yourself your own truth * Discover how to overcome the fear of losing the love and respect of the people important to you * Understand how it is okay to be honest with yourself

Quotes “I hated who I was growing up. I hated absolutely everything that made me who I was” [3:22]

“For so many years, I gained so much weight when I was in the closet when I didn't feel authentic at all.” [6:17]

“I came out because I actually met somebody who was open about their sexuality in high school. And I think that's really what changed. For me,” [8:18]

“I was testing the waters to see how our family would react.” [10:10]

“My labels have changed and that's totally okay for anyone watching like to change your labels over time.” [11:49]

“I just wanted love.” [12:48]

“It was my fault to wait. But I'm glad that I did it regardless of whatever time.” [13:40]

“I was fortunate enough to have that and to have an accepting family.” [13:55]

“Because I was switching all of my negative thoughts about myself to just more positive stuff, every single thing started to switch just because of that.” [15:41]

“A lot of people who identify as LGBTQ plus, don't have accepting families or they don't have accepting friends. They don't have anybody around them, to understand them and to give them the love and support that they deserve.” [19:43]

“Any age needs a group of people who love them, and we're trying to provide that family to them.” [25:55]

“I think the biggest thing that people worry about when they do come out is that they're going to lose people.” [29:06]

“If you're not safe to come out, maybe that's not the right time. But you deserve to be who you are when the time is right.” [29:51]

Resources Dani Max Website

Dani Max Instagram

The PBT Institute Membership Community
The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Post-Betrayal Syndrome is the collection of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms common to betrayal. Almost everyone who takes the quiz struggles with some type of physical, mental, or emotional issue after their experience. What I see so often is our first line of defense is to take something to medicate, numb, distract ourselves, or to do anything just to try to mask the pain. But it’s only when we: “face it, feel it, heal it” do we move through it. Unfortunately, so many people resign themselves to thinking that they’ll never heal, never be able to feel safe again, trust again, love again as they move forward feeling powerless and unhappy. Join me for this episode where you’ll see how you’re managing your experience and how you can make a few changes to feel so much better.

In This Episode * Know up to what extent someone's struggling in the course of the betrayal recovery process * Learn why so many people stay painfully stuck after a betrayal * Discover the many parts of the self that need to get rebuilt

Quotes “What happens is we start believing all that's been done to us, and then what we feed grows so then we're feeding into all of this, and it keeps us stuck.” [1:51]

“Face it. Feel it. Heal it.” [4:44]

“But with a resignation of just accepting - this is as good as it gets; it's like you're handing the keys over.” [6:46]

“Where are you in this spectrum? Is it resignation? Is it a sense of powerlessness? You don't have to feel that way.” [7:38]

“Be very careful of the energy in that space because if it's keeping you stuck, it's not going to help you heal.” [8:43]

“I could take this trauma that broke me (and as you know, whenever broken, bent), I can use it to transform to create the most magnificent self, level of health, work, finances, body relationships that I could ever expect.” [11:30]

Resources The PBT Institute Membership Community
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Jami and Marla Keller have a 97% success rate in keeping couples together and more passionate than ever individuals and audiences worldwide with their unique “Just stop it and be cherished'' process. They are dedicated to keeping relationships together and building community leaders through retreats and coaching.

About Guest/Topic

Not only have Jami and Marla rebuilt their relationship, but they've also helped so many other people, and couples do the same, creating an even stronger and better relationship than before. They have been married for over 31 years and became relationship coaches licensed facilitators with life skills international since 1995. They are the co-authors of “How Men Make Women Crazy (and Vice Versa): Ending the Madness”, “Forever After”, “How to Get to Peace and Joy”, “Embracing the Cherish Factor'' and are featured coaches in the coaching documentary leap released in October of 2018.

In This Episode

Learn how to work on rebuilding your relationship after betrayal
How to heal and what goes on after it
Discover what the cost is in starting over and trusting again
Know how forgiveness works

Quotes

“It's not simple. It's not easy. And it hurts like hell. But it is also very worth it.” [2:24]

“You get to the place where your story becomes more important than the relationship.” [12:10]

“Forgiveness is a choice first, and no, you can't rush it. But you can't put it off either. ” [24:29]

“If it doesn't work, you are not a failure. Because it wasn't about you.” [29:09]

“Don't think that you're doing the work when you're not.” [29:24]

Resources The PBT Institute Membership Community
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

Jami and Marla Facebook Page

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Post-Betrayal Syndrome is the collection of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms common to betrayal. Almost everyone who takes the quiz struggles with some type of physical, mental, or emotional issue after their experience. If you're in pain or if you've just experienced something extremely traumatic, get the help you need. It's gonna be very draining and depleting, but it will take you to a higher level of fulfillment in overcoming a lack of confidence, low self-esteem, and insecurity.

In This Episode * Learn all about the collective mind and how powerful it is when you give * Discover how an opportunity can positively affect a person’s well-being * Know why these beliefs are the root of everything a person does

Quotes “Here are these people who are so hurt. They've been so blindsided by a betrayal, they're hurting so bad.” [2:19]

“When they had that opportunity to give, to serve, to help, all of a sudden - they felt better. They spoke up, they spoke out.” [2:27]

“They heal every time they teach.” [3:19]

“I've seen consistently how when we give when we're of service, we heal. It's so powerful.” [3:43]

“It's your belief system. It governs and controls everything. It controls your actions, your habits, your behaviors, your thoughts, all of it.” [4:01]

“I just know how your beliefs, when you exchange them for ones that serve you so much better, take you to a much much better place.” [6:31]

Resources The PBT Institute Membership Community
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Michelle Nagel is a Certified Success Principles Canfield Methodology Trainer, a HeartMathTM Certified Trainer, and is a Post Betrayal Transformation Practitioner. She is an intuitive healer and energy therapist who has personally walked the path of healing after trauma, Michelle can help you go from who you are to who you want to be.

About Guest/Topic Michelle Nagel is a TEDx speaker, an international bestselling author, the ROAR to Win podcast host, and President of Soul Shift, Inc. Known as America's #1 Resilience Expert, for over 20 years Michelle has guided people through Transformation after Trauma, Betrayal, and healing core wounds.

Personally endorsed by Jack Canfield, author of Chicken Soup for the Soul books, Michelle has guided people from all walks of life to make internal shifts that propel them to success, teach them to banish overwhelm, and find joy in their lives.

In This Episode

Discover how the shame and judgment of betrayal can affect people and their battle with their everyday lives
Learn what happens to people when betrayed, broken and much more
Know what incredible contributions she's making to the entire PBT Community

Quotes “I was beating myself up because I was trying to find out why I was such a bad person.” [5:19]

“The journey that I took myself on is learning to love myself.” [10:32]

“It's so important to get this message out to people that you can heal from betrayal.” [16:15]

“I've had a lot of childhood trauma and realized that my brain has a different shape than other people's brains because of that childhood trauma.” [19:18]

“If you're not willing to look at the childhood betrayals, then you're cutting off the core basis of you, you're cutting off the foundation.” [22:50]

“What I want to make sure everybody knows is that your betrayal was not your fault.” [29:14]

Resources Mentioned Michelle Nagel Website

Other Resources The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

Debi’s Facebook group

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It’s common to struggle with low self-esteem, confidence, and feelings of unworthiness-especially if we grew up hearing without the love and support we may have needed to create a strong sense of self. Add to that being blindsided by those we’ve trusted and it’s definitely going to have us questioning ourselves, our worth, even our sanity. How do we regain and reclaim a sense of worth, confidence, and empowerment? That’s what this episode is all about.

In This Episode

Learn about the 5-day free Breaking Through Your Limiting Beliefs challenge so you can kick those disempowering beliefs to the curb
Discover how this challenge can help you create a new set of beliefs which will help you overcome your negative feelings
Know why it’s important to heal ourselves and avoid being stuck in betrayal

Quotes “You can't change something you're not aware of.” [2:21]

“You will see the ultimate version of you, at your physical, mental, and emotional best, at your personal and professional best.” [4:18]

“We're like minds coming together, working towards a common goal.” [5:06]

“There's so much you want to do. But it's hidden under layers of fear, doubt, insecurity.” [7:39]

Resources Join the free 5-Day Breaking Through Your Limiting Beliefs Challenge

The PBT Institute Membership Community
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Christine Howard is a sought-after speaker and innovative business leader. Her transformative products and coaching services books and talks are instrumental in awakening the radiance and power of women's true beauty and their ability to achieve their soul-centered calling, passionate in her commitment to inspiring the lives of women.

About Guest/Topic

Christine's work first began during her own transformational heartbreak, rising from a startling diagnosis of breast cancer followed by a painful divorce. Today she is widely known as an authority on radiant achievement, teaching, and speaking to audiences worldwide. This episode is all about growth, letting go, transformation, and self-care.

In This Episode * Learn about how experiences of betrayal can lead you to unexpected transformation * Discover how to step out of chaos and live a radiantly fulfilling life

Quotes “The stress I was facing in my marriage was part of what created the health conditions, too.” [3:46]

“I’d love doing quick writes as far as the journal, and I would sit down and have no particular - just what I was feeling, just connecting in, getting still and quiet, and then whatever came up writing it down.” [11:26]

“I stopped those emotions that hurt the denial.” [16:55]

“I was the biggest betrayer of me.” [20:14]

“That transformation is a reawakening of my essence.” [27:37]

“You don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to know all the steps. You have to be willing to step into a higher version of you and use everything in front of you that you're going through, as an opportunity for growth.” [29:33]

Resources Mentioned Christine Howard Website

Other Resources The PBT Institute Membership Community

The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

Debi’s Facebook group

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Post betrayal syndrome is the collection of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms. Over 7,000 people at this point, have taken the assessment to see to what extent they're struggling. Lots of trauma but the good news is, it can lead to amazing transformation and that’s what this episode is about.

In This Episode * Discover what transformation looks like * Learn how we can feel a sense of peace and confidence when we heal * Know why a person won't even realize what's happening by what they’re doing because they’re becoming

Quotes “People come into this work with some sort of trauma or crisis, and they’re doing the hard work to slay those dragons.” [0:42]

“It's such a beautiful thing to see and it's something I feel so privileged to witness.” [1:56]

“They've healed so much. They can't help but want to share this.” [6:15]

“I love that concept of death and rebirth. And it's only when there's that death of the old can there be that birth of the new..” [8:27]

Resources The PBT Institute Membership Community

Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Palmer Kippola is an author, speaker, and functional medicine certified health coach who specializes in helping people reverse and prevent autoimmune conditions. She developed a framework called F.I.G.H.T.S.™ to help others beat autoimmune conditions, based on her 26-year battle to overcome multiple sclerosis.

About Guest/Topic

Palmer Kippola has done coursework with the National Institute of Functional Medicine, HeartMath® Institute, and Functional Medicine Coaching Academy. She founded Transcend Autoimmune - a growing Facebook community of people proactively seeking to reverse or prevent autoimmune conditions.

In addition, she has studied under leading experts in nutrition, holistic health, energy, and functional medicine. Her life’s work is to seek, simplify, and share science, stories, and strategies to help others achieve vibrant health through her 3 decades of experience, research, and client successes.

In This Episode

Learn science stories and strategies to help people heal and thrive
Discover alternative modalities that can heal people physically, mentally and emotionally from a sense of abandonment
Know how the F.I.G.H.T.S.™ framework is beneficial to overcoming autoimmune conditions

Quotes “I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, I forgive you. Thank you, I love you.” [12:13]

“When we harbor these resentments and regrets, and this animosity and anger, and everything that we keep on our body, we know that those beliefs can drive our biology.” [14:09]

“What happens in childhood does not stay in childhood.” [19:33]

“There's nothing we need to learn how to elicit the stress reaction, but in order to heal, and the only place where you can heal is in the relaxation response.” [25:18]

“Sometimes we need a little help in working with somebody who can help us find the answers.” [31:35]

Resources Mentioned Palmer Kippola Website

Palmer's Free Optimal Food Guide

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Post-Betrayal Syndrome is A collection of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms common to betrayal. One common connection I see all the time is this; the link between anger and your health.

In This Episode

Learn the physical, mental and emotional symptoms that are so common to betrayal
Discover how anger can impact your health
How can one rebuild the self - coming back from abandonment, rejection, confidence worthiness, trust

Quotes “Experiencing betrayal absolutely can leave you with PTSD triggers.” [6:07]

“So what I see is so often, it's like we're playing this game of whack-a-mole, you know, where we just were trying to tamp down one symptom or one emotion and then another one comes up.” [11:38]

“Nothing is left untouched with a betrayal. And it needs to be acknowledged, it needs to be validated.” [14:35]

“People are acting from their current level of consciousness.” [16:53]

“I'm worth so much more than this. I deserve to feel better. I deserve to look better. I deserve to live better.” [17:22]

“Staying stuck truly is a choice.” [21:28]

“When you can heal from something as devastating as betrayal, there are no limits.” [22:14]

Resources

The PBT Institute Membership Community

Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Dr. Keesha Ewers is an integrative medicine expert, Doctor of Sexology, Family Practice ARNP, Psychotherapist, herbalist, is board certified in functional medicine and Ayurvedic medicine, and is the founder and medical director of the Academy for Integrative Medicine Health Coach Certification Program.

About Guest/Topic

After conducting the HURT Study in 2013, Dr. Keesha developed the HURT Model for understanding how past childhood trauma impacts adult health. This led to the creation of the You Unbroken online program for patients to heal their own trauma and the Mystic Medicine deep immersion healing retreats she leads at her home on San Juan Island, WA.

As an integrative Medicine Medical Provider, she has specialized her clinical focus in digestive and hormonal health, and in reversing autoimmune disease.

In This Episode

Learn about “The Freedom Framework”
Know more about how your mind and body can get rid of toxins
Why it’s important to watch your language
How your mind responds to what you physically mentally and emotionally feed it

Quotes

“We are symptom managers.” [3:49]

“I think there must be different roads to the top of this mountain.” [8:56]

“People are very intelligent people, but they can also be very judgmental, and they can be very acerbic and acidic.” [10:57]

“I was thinking about this word autoimmune, and I realized I was attacking myself.” [13:20]

“There are all kinds of different experiences you're going to have that you won't be able to understand and unless you have by your side 24/7 - a well-attuned, well-adapted, well-attached caregiver to be able to help you navigate those things, and make up meanings that fit your level of development and your brain function.” [19:46]

“Everyone has their own unique puzzle, and you have to solve your own puzzle.” [26:10]

Resources Mentioned

Dr. Keesha Ewers Website

The PBT Institute Membership Community

Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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What can you always count on? Change. It’s in getting familiar with the unfamiliar, we’re able to adapt and adjust when change comes our way.

In This Episode * Learn why change is consistent in any aspect of life
Discover how change can bring about the highest and best in people * How change can be the most natural although also one of the hardest parts of life

Quotes “Life goes on and change goes on.” [2:24]

“It just struck me between the so many beautiful changes happening and then so many unwelcome changes.” [4:46]

“Every change at some level is in our highest and best good.” [6:15]

Resources The PBT Institute Membership Community

Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

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Teri Cochrane is an internationally known integrative practitioner and thought leader in personalized health care and longevity. She was a risk manager by trade, and soon became a risk manager for her children’s health. She's developed her own methodology, “The Cochrane Method”, which integrates a multi-level nutritional approach including biochemistry, nutrition, genetic tendencies, or biology, and counseling to develop personalized plans for her clients.

About Guest/Topic

Teri’s children are her greatest teachers. Their health conditions led her to seek solutions to their health crises. They both recovered from life-threatening illnesses when she discerned the root cause of their imbalances, changing the way they ate to support their unique genetic blueprint.

Today, her son is a happy and healthy 23-year-old young man who no longer suffers from asthma, eczema, or failure to thrive. He is a Junior Olympic Karate gold medalist, a talented musician, and a singer, and went to a top university on a full academic scholarship. While her daughter is now thriving at a top university, excelling in music, dance, and international policy.

In This Episode

Learn “The Cochrane Method”
Know more about how Teri overcame her children’s health challenges
How people become empowered and informed through education
The benefits of 45-day reboot to eating to your genetic blueprint

Quotes

“Our body is giving us a really deep and true signal - do something else, look at it differently.” [6:05]

“Our food supply has betrayed us because of the way that we have treated the food.” [19:36]

“I'm going to always have that as an opinion. And it's part of my kind of being my cup, my constellation of all sorts of information by which I will make an informed decision.” [25:19]

“The first thing is to start reading your food labels. I say if you can't read it, don't eat it.” [25:52]

“I really think that information is power and I also say that fear paralyzes the truth.” [27:03]

“Let's get informed. Let's start doing our research. Let's not be swayed by fancy marketing or a fear-mongering and there is hope, there's hope.” [28:53]

Resources Mentioned

Teri Cochrane Website

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Post betrayal syndrome is the collection of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms. Over 7,000 people at this point, took the assessment to see up to what extent they're struggling from. So many need heartbreaking details, but one came in and I thought would really help because it’s something we see all the time: after all the betrayal we’ve been through, can people really keep their faith?

In This Episode * Learn where transformation comes in * Discover the benefits of staying stuck and why does it happen * Learn about mind-body connection when dealing with betrayal

Quotes “We see betrayals showing up in every single area of life.” [0:55]

“Over time, these unhealed betrayals keep us sick, sad, stuck.” [2:28]

“Here's the problem - once we figured out how we can survive the experience, that's as far as we go.” [3:31]

“There's a version of you so confident, so healthy, so energized, so bold, so empowered, so awesome, that's just waiting to be worth it.” [8:22]

Resources The PBT Institute Membership Community

Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Certification

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You have probably heard of mindfulness as a buzzword before, but have you ever taken the time to explore exactly what the mind is? Darrin Ford is a licensed marriage and family therapist, nationally recognized speaker and internationally recognized author, who is here today to share his knowledge about the utilization of mindfulness when looking for ways to heal.

You can practice mindfulness while walking, sitting, standing, or lying down. By practicing weaving your mindfulness into your everyday activities, you can change the way you think, act, and react and find more peace. Mindfulness can help you be less reactive to your triggers and help you on your path towards healing.

Darrin knows what it is like to be stuck in a trauma or addiction loop, and is here today to share his knowledge with you so that you can stop feeding into your reactions and start being more present. By adopting an observational relationship with your thoughts, behaviors, and habits, you can better understand your emotions and start to interject mindfulness to better suit your destiny. Time, consistency, and self-compassion are the keys to mindfulness, and with Darrin’s help, you can integrate mindfulness into your daily life seamlessly.

Are you ready to take the time to adapt mindfulness into your life? Share your history with mindfulness with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

How to recognize when you are not being mindful and become more present
Tips on ways to incorporate mindful habits into your daily life
Explore the difference between mindfulness and meditation
The role of equanimity and neuroplasticity when it comes to mindfulness
How to practice non-judgment by practicing getting to know your emotions

Quotes

“You start to integrate these small interjections of mindfulness into your life, in small little doses, not in these big formal old fashioned ways. That doesn’t work for our busy lives, it’s not functional.” (6:22)

“It’s not that they wouldn’t feel the emotion connected to the trigger, its the way that we react to that emotion would be different, or would be more constructive versus destructive.” (14:59)

“You are the observer of this moment. You are the thing that sees your thoughts, see your mind’s reaction. You’re the one who has the ability to see that and then once you see it you can make a choice. I’m not saying that’s an easy choice, I’m not saying that when you choose not to react in the addictive, compulsive way, that you won’t feel a lot of emotional distress. You absolutely will. However, that is what’s needed.” (22:30)

“Emotions move us, they are an unconscious feeling that drives our thoughts. Our thoughts manifest into beliefs, our beliefs manifest into behaviors, our behaviors are practiced into habits, and our habits become our destiny.” (24:33)

Links

Sano Center for Recovery Website

The Mindfulness Academy for Addiction and Trauma Training Website

Find the full episode post here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/120

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://thepbtinstitute.com/shop/

Connect:
Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/InspireEmpowerTransform
Free Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/WomenHackingBetrayal/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/DebiSilber
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debisilber/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/debisilber/
Watch my TEDx: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XX30i6nC7ro

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In This Episode * Learn the significant lesson that betrayal will teach * Where to find support when dealing with betrayal trauma * Learn the role of the body-mind connection when dealing with betrayal

Quotes “I've been through betrayal so many times I have no faith that I wouldn't find myself in another situation where betrayal is possible. And I just want relief.” [1:16]

“Repeat betrayals happen when you haven't learned the significant lesson that betrayal was there to teach.” [1:28]

“At a time where we need support the most, we're the least likely to seek it because we're embarrassed, we feel uncomfortable. There’s so much shame.” [9:03]

“They may walk in with that trauma, but they are leaving transformed.” [11:43]

“There's just a version of you so healthy, so strong, so awesome. And we need to clear that up to the best of you can just show up.” [12:19]

Resources The PBT Institute Membership Community

Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

PBT Institute Certification

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Sue Mocker is an author, professional speaker, and hope consultant. Sue works in the spheres of healthcare, ministry, education, and business to make transformational changes in the matters of the heart. After experiencing both marital betrayal and familial betrayal, Sue did the hard work to find hope after healing and is here today to share her knowledge with you.

Through her humorous and homemade stories, Sue is helping prove that while hurt people may hurt people, healed people can heal people as well. Sue wants you to know that there is a different way to think, be loved, heal, and grow by setting boundaries and honoring the level of treatment that you are deserving of.

By getting out of denial, calling out the lies you tell yourself, and grieving the process of betrayal, you can take giant brave leaps to be healed in a deep way while healing yourself and those around you.

You are worth it to take the time to seek out help and find strength in your healing. Are you ready to do what Sue did and discover what is really true? Let us know what healing options you are exploring in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

How to rewire your brain to believe and trust in your worthiness
The importance of letting down your guard and learning how to just breathe
Ways that you can enter into the grieving process intentionally and on purpose
Gain insight into different healing techniques such as EMDR, hypnotherapy and more
Tips for becoming more familiar about different healing modalities guided by hope

Quotes

“I accepted poor treatment, I accepted things that people should never be accepted for treatment for their body. But what I do know, and what I have learned, is that childhood trauma, childhood sexual abuse, totally distorts the brain, totally changes what you think about yourself, totally reorganizes things in a way that creates a belief system about love, and it distorts it all.” (7:44)

“I started believing and understanding that my childhood trauma actually is connected to healing from this betrayal.” (10:15)

“There are all different kinds of reasons as to why we feel inadequate, insecure, unworthy, in different relationships. And its always helped me in my next step, whatever I was ready for.” (18:58)

“You do have value. There is hope, and there are modalities of healing out there that you may or may not connect too, that you may or may not have heard of, know about. Just find an opportunity to be open for something to be shown to you that is your next step.” (26:50)

“Healed people heal people, healing people heal people, you don’t have to be completely there, you don’t have to have completely arrived, but you are worth it.” (27:43)

Links

Hope Allowed Website

Find the full episode post here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/119

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://thepbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Often when we think of health issues as a symptom of an unhealed betrayal we think on the grand scale of things, including cancer and heart disease. But did you know that everything from IBS, to skin issues, headaches, and chronic fatigue, could be a symptom of something greater? If you have experienced any type of health issue, there is a very good chance that an unhealed betrayal could be at the root of your symptoms.

Inna Topiler is a certified clinical nutritionist practicing a functional medicine approach to health, founder of Complete Nutrition and Wellness, Host of the Health Mysteries Solved Podcast, and so much more. While Inna did not start out to work in functional medicine, it was after a slew of her own health issues and a disappointment with the traditional treatment she received, that her passion to help others get to the root of their underlying health issues and reclaim their health began to take hold.

Today Inna is here to give us a look at the connection between your head and heart and explore the vital roles these connections play in your ability to live your life to the fullest. Chronic illness can be a result of your body betraying you, and it is only by directly addressing these unresolved betrayals that you can remove the physical manifestation of betrayal and start healing your betrayal through loyalty.

If you are struggling with physical symptoms that you just can’t make sense of, Inna wants to encourage you to look into your past betrayals, start understanding the connection between the mind and the body, and acknowledge your symptoms so that you can breathe healing towards it.

Have you ever experienced a bodily betrayal? Share your story of perseverance and determination with us in the comments section of the episode page.

In This Episode

What to do when following your Doctor’s orders doesn’t make you feel better
Learn what functional medicine is and how it connects with your nutrition
The difference between functional testing and traditional medical testing
Tips for healing after the betrayal of your body and the medical system
Techniques to help you break up with your negative thought patterns and pains

Quotes

“I sought out a lot of conventional therapy at first, as a lot of people would, and I was really disenchanted with a lot of the disjointed care that I was getting. I was really frustrated because after months of seeing so many doctors I still had no answers at all. And I was angry, upset, I felt really lost, but this is where I started to feel betrayed.” (3:10)

“With his help, I embarked on this journey to balance my body. Now understanding what was happening, it was really really empowering for me.” (11:28)

“If there is anything going on in the body that normally may not be a problem, it will be an issue because of that weak immune system that we created because of the stress, which is really due to this old betrayal piece that people don’t realize.” (17:42)

“We shouldn’t be afraid to bring up the negative if we are doing it in a way that’s controlled. Almost that we are highlighting it for deletion, that’s how I like to see it.” (22:34)

“Once we feel it, the goal is not to blame it or make it go away. But rather we want to really acknowledge it and almost thank it, in a way, for showing up.” (25:04)

Links

Complete Nutrition and Wellness Website

Find the full episode post here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/118

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://thepbtinstitute.com/shop/

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If you ask me, fear is the biggest reason we stay stuck in our lives. While fear is at the root of almost everything, it is only by understanding the differences between irrational and realistic fears and constructive and destructive fears that we can reach the power of transformational fear. Dr. Carla Marie Manly is a clinical psychologist, author, and advocate who is here today to help us understand the different types of fear, how to work with them, and how to minimize them so that we can take action in a way that serves us best.

With a direct and honest approach with a dose of humor, Dr. Manly is here to help you navigate the soulful adventure into self-awareness. Instead of getting used to the voice of destructive fear that is prevalent in our society, Dr. Manly wants you to slow down and regain your power over your fear.

When going through a betrayal it is easy to stick to what you know and stay in your pain because it is familiar. Through the application of Dr. Manly’s strategies, you can start to strengthen the constructive over the destructive and stop giving your betrayal wiggle room. It is possible to overcome what is keeping you stuck, and with the help of Dr. Manly, you can gain insight into this challenging topic and find a way to focus on your optimal wellness.

The feelings you are having are universal and nothing to be ashamed of. By pushing through the shame you can start on your journey to healing and the joy that has been in you all along. Are you ready to allow yourself the power of knowing that through perseverance you can find the other side of fear? Share what gave you the most hope from Dr. Manly’s advice in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Discover the different types of fear and the ways that you can identify them
How to listen to the many voices of fear when going through a betrayal
Why putting something in writing can start to squash your destructive fear
The importance of becoming a part of a collective of women for support
Tips for managing your fear and pushing through your shame

Quotes

“Unfortunately in this day and age, many of us are being riddled with irrational fears, unrealistic fears, that keep us from change, that keep us stuck and immobilized in life.” (3:05)

“This is the beautiful part about destructive fear. Destructive fear does not like the light. Destructive fear does not like clarity. Destructive fear does not like written agreements at all because destructive fear likes to be able to be manipulative and sneaky.” (12:56)

“When we make goals for ourselves, when we put things in writing, it becomes much more understandable for the psyche. That is why so many of us will make wishlists in our heads or think in our heads and not want to put it in writing. Because the minute we put something in writing, we feel a sense of clarity and accountability.” (19:04)

“There is something beautiful and connective about being held in a safe place where you can hear other women’s stories. Their lows, their successes, and know that if they can do it, I can do it too.” (21:48)

“Everything is to do with a reminder to the self when you get weak, that these are real things that happen. Is that in line with the kind of life I want in my future?” (26:20)

Links

Dr. Carla Marie Manly Website

Joy From Fear by Dr. Carla Manly

Find the full episode post here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/117

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://thepbtinstitute.com/shop/

Joy from Fear: Create the Life of Your Dreams by Making Fear Your Friend

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Most good comedy and humor come from the painful parts of life, but have you ever considered how finding the humor in a hard situation could help you heal? Paul Osincup is a humor strategist, TEDx speaker, and leading expert in the professional application of humor to reduce stress, build resilience, increase influence, and boost happiness. Paul believes in the power of humor in leadership and is here today to share how humor can enhance health and human performance.

Paul is on a mission to increase global workplace happiness by helping others rewire themselves to find the funny. By implementing tools to help you laugh a bit more, you may be able to heal from your betrayal a bit easier as well. There is real power in humor, and if you need help getting started, Paul is here to introduce you to the world of humor and help you develop your sense of humor intentionally and strategically. Laughing is proven to reduce cortisol, boosts serotonin and oxytocin, and helps improve your connection with others.

By spicing up the mundane things in your life that you have to do, laughter is possible no matter what you are going through. Regardless of what type of humor you like, you can encourage the presence of humor in your life by implementing Paul’s simple and effective strategies. Are you ready to train your brain to look for humor in the mundane and painful? Share how laughter has helped you heal in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Humor habits that you can develop to improve your sense of humor
Learn about the different types of humor and how to add them to your daily routine
How to use laughter to heal from your betrayal and improve your health
Strategies to help you take a humor break to achieve the desired outcome
What to do if you are having an off day and how to purposely develop humor

Quotes

“Humor is not a talent, humor is a habit.” (3:26)

“Ultimately, like any other form of communication, I think humor can be used as a tool and as a weapon. And for me, I like humor that makes people feel good and makes me feel good.” (7:34)

“We studied the application of humor and just doing that exercise seven days, writing down three things you found amusing or funny each day, they found actually decreases depressive symptoms and increases happiness for up to six months.” (17:02)

“Humor is one of the things that actually starts firing in all areas of the brain, and so it does a lot for our overall feelings of happiness.” (19:09)

“Just because something is hurtful, doesn’t mean it’s not okay to laugh about it. And there is a really close connection between laughing and crying.” (22:39)

“Regardless of what you are going through… you don’t have to hope for humor to happen. You can harness it and be intentional about it.” (28:34)

Links

Paul Osincup Website

Leading With Laughter TEDx Talk

Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor Website

Find the full episode post here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/116

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://thepbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Stories of burnout are becoming increasingly frequent, but the standard medical community often brushes away the symptoms. After experiencing her own personal burnout, Nikole Stanfield realized that she needed to help others improve themselves through the same personal development. Now an Intuition Coach who helps successful business owners and entrepreneurs stop feeling unfulfilled and work through their burnout, Nikole’s passion is helping others love what they do.

In this episode, we will discover the connection between burnout and self-betrayal, learn ways that you can start to decrease your overwhelm in less than 30 minutes a day, and discover how we can break free from expectations to find a more authentic version of yourself. One for all of the people pleasers, type a’s and hard workers out there, Nikole’s advice is not to be missed.

The thoughts you have had in the past may have served you then, but by shifting your thought patterns you can start to go after what you really want and not what you feel obligated to do. While it may feel excruciatingly painful to say no to somebody, by pushing through the uncomfortable, you can start to say yes to yourself instead.

Are you ready to transform from an anchor into a set of wings? Share your experiences with burnout with us in the comments section of the episode page.

In This Episode

Learn about the connection between burnout and self-betrayal
What you can do right now to start relieving some of your overwhelm
How to change your brain from reactive to reflective through meditation
Ways to identify if you are starting to enter into burnout territory
The importance of taking time to do something that fills up your cup

Quotes

“I’m an overachiever and have done so many things and have been super busy in my life, so this was a totally new place to be, and I had no idea what to do. I was terrified, and I didn’t know how to move forward.” (5:05)

“That’s where I feel like the betrayal came in. That I just ran over myself. And I didn’t listen to anything I wanted or what was best for me.” (9:49)

“When you are an entrepreneur you start taking on all these things that you need to hustle, this concept, you need to make sure that you are wearing all these different hats… and it gets overwhelming, its too much.” (17:07)

“If it doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t work for them. I don’t have to fall on the sword.” (21:39)

“The important part is that you recognize that you are having those thoughts. So then you can say okay, maybe I want to journal about it. Or you talk to someone you care about who will just listen to you. Or you work with a coach, or you meditate on it. Whatever that is, you can start to see how often this guilt is showing up in your life or this phrase that you keep telling yourself.” (25:06)

Links

My Intuition Coach Website

Find the full episode post here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/115

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://thepbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Are you exhausted with all you are doing to be beautiful? With all of that effort, you could be betraying yourself by denying discovering who you really are. Diane Kazer is a former pro-soccer player turned functional diagnostic nutrition practitioner, courage coach, and holistic beauty expert. Your go-to-girl to break through anything despite what you have been through or been told, Diane is here today to stop the patterns of toxic beauty and put an end to the toxic stories we tell ourselves once and for all.

The price of being beautiful is one of the biggest measures of self-betrayal, and Diane is here to help you release the toxic chemicals, toxic stories, and beliefs that are keeping you confined to your suffering, sickness, and sadness. By cleansing your body, healing your hormones, and igniting your life, Diane’s tried and true method of healing can help you discover and appreciate who you are truly meant to be.

Diane wants to show you the template of a healthier way of life so that you can cleanse your stories, heal your trauma, and ignite your purpose. If you are spending a lifetime trying to please others in the way that you look, feel, and live, you will never find the fulfillment you are so deserving of.

Are you ready to get to the root of your beliefs so that you can start healing and believing that you are enough? Share what you loved most about Diane’s framework with us in the comments section of the episode page.

In This Episode

What is toxic beauty and how it is engrained into our societies messages
How to find a balance within the unrealistic beauty messages sent by society
Gain the courage to face the darkness and integrate the wisdom of your story
Why having a coach is the best way to navigate toxins and trauma and heal quickly

Quotes

“This is what we are taught, that if you don’t have this perfect shaped face and nose and hair and body and butt and boobs, then you are going to “kicked out of this tribe”. And what is this tribe? This tribe is called Instagram, this tribe is called Facebook, this tribe is called the magazines and the media and pop culture. And so when we don’t follow the template we have this sense of shame and this shame is the self-betrayal that I want to talk about.” (4:01)

“There are three ways that we can self betray. And that is physical, emotional, and spiritual.” (9:26)

“There is wisdom in the wound, and in that shadow, you can find your light. But only until you have faced your darkness will you know your light, so it takes so much courage.” (17:30)

“You want to know what your future looks like? Look at your past. If you haven’t healed it, it’s going to keep happening.” (22:44)

“This needs to happen now. Look at our world, we need all of you, every single one of you to rise. And it starts with using your own eyes to undisguised yourself of who you think you are supposed to be.” (25:15)

Links

Diane Kazer Website

Non-Toxic Beauty Revolution Summit

Killer Breasts: Overcoming Breast Plant Illness by Diane Kazer

Join the Free 5 Step Masterclass

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/114

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Jodi Cohen is one of the bravest people I know, and one of my personal heroes. After losing her son in a devastating accident only 18 months ago, Jodi had to deal with not only the betrayal of expectations when you become a parent, but also the ripple effect her family’s story sent through her community.

An award-winning journalist, best selling author, functional practitioner, and founder of Vibrant Blue Oils, Jodi has combined her life experiences, training in nutritional therapy, and aromatherapy to create unique proprietary blends of essential oils that have helped tens of thousands of people.

Jodi is all about gaining an understanding of post-traumatic growth and helping others focus on moments of clarity and relief. By getting out of the state of anger created by your mind and emotions, Jodi believes that you can get unstuck and heal in a real and authentic way. If you want to gain an understanding of the many layers of healing that take place, how to deal with outsiders and friends after a betrayal, or gain a sense of Jodi’s strength and resilience, this is the episode for you.

A topic that nobody ever wants to deal with, but that is so important to shed light on, Jodi is here to provide guidance, love, and most importantly, understanding. Do you know someone who would resonate with Jodi’s story? Tag them in the comments section of our episode page.

In This Episode

Learn about ‘tissue issue’ people and how to handle their actions during trauma
Why essential oils are one of the most immediate ways to calm your nerves and mind
How to get out of the state of anger in your head and ground yourself back to your body
Tips for creating your own essential oil recipe to help you move through trauma
The importance of asking for help and relishing in the good moments in life

Quotes

“Who goes out there and publicly broadcasts that you are a hot mess? Who that loves you is going to do that when you are in your deepest darkest hour? It is someone who really liked external validation, really liked the kudos that she got from being able to say she was supporting me.” (10:34)

“There was nothing in between, it was almost like the volume was on mute, or the highest decibel ever. And so just trying to navigate that so that you had more options, more speeds than just super low or super high, by helping yourself kind of center and ground with the oil.” (17:15)

“Its almost like you have to feel safe to really release. Because I think anger is the top layer of fear and sadness, and its almost like a tough nut to crack. Once you can get through that anger, then you can get to the core of the issue, and you can start to release it and move out of it.” (20:20)

“There are always new learning and new skills and peeling off the onion.” (22:32)

“I want to make sure everybody knows that they are not alone, that there is no shame. This is not something that they chose, and that there are periods that will be better, this is not forever.” (30:27)

Links

Vibrant Blue Oils Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/113

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Dr. Anna Cabeca experienced a hormonal betrayal by her body when she was diagnosed with infertility and early menopause at the age of 38. Refusing to lay down and accept this, Dr. Cabeca started on a personal wellness journey to reduce her menopause side effects, which resulted in the delivery of a baby girl three years after her diagnosis.

After experiencing her own health successes, Dr. Cabeca began counseling others and has since changed the lives of thousands of women across the globe. With her Keto-Green 16 program, Dr. Cabeca can help you lose weight, feel more energetic, and gain the clarity and sense of calm that you have been longing for.

When you feel like you have lost control, taking care of your body and your hormones are one of the top ways that you can start to regain your inner power. Today Dr. Cabeca is here to explain everything from hormones such as cortisol and oxytocin to the benefits of intermittent fasting and building up insulin sensitivity.

By enhancing your physiology and hormonal control you can improve your quality of life, mental state, and more. If you are ready for strategies to help you make lemonade out of your life’s lemons, this is the episode for you. Let us know what you found most interesting about Dr. Cabeca’s knowledge and inspiring story with us in the comments section of the episode page.

In This Episode

How to know if your hormone imbalances are impacting your overall health
Learn all about the benefits of intermittent fasting, glucose monitoring and more
Why sugar is the toxic boyfriend that you need to break up with today
What you can expect to feel when you adapt the Keto-Green 16 method
The best ways to feel more in control of your life and gain more clarity
Nutrition and lifestyle recommendations to help you get started on your health journey

Quotes

“When our body is having to make excess insulin, we become insulin resistant. And that increases our risk factors for diabetes, hypertension and Alzheimers and dementia.” (12:39)

“I’ve worked with thousands of patients and honestly everyone can do it, we are designed to do it.” (16:31)

“The piece that surpasses all understanding is nothing in my external environment had changed, but my internal milieu had changed. So the most important for me was this piece.” (19:14)

“This approach of creating insulin sensitivity, managing cortisol, and putting oxytocin in the winners circle so to speak, gave me my life back.” (20:18)

“It takes more than hormones to fix our hormones.” (25:21)

“Physiology drives behavior. So we have to heal the physiology in order, often, to get control of our thoughts and our mental atmosphere, and it does make a difference.” (28:25)

Links

Keto-Green 16 by. Dr. Anna Cabeca

Dr. Anna Cabeca Website

FBTB 034: Dr. Anna Cabeca

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/112

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Have you ever walked into a room and immediately felt the energy? Everything in our world is made up of energy, including our own personal energy vortexes within our bodies. Dr. Ellen Albertson is a psychologist, registered dietitian, national board-certified health and wellness coach, reiki master and mindful self-compassion teacher who knows a thing or two about energy.

Dr. Ellen uses the power of our energy chakras to help women get unstuck and find confidence, energy, and clarity. Dubbed The Midlife Whisperer, Dr. Ellen is here today to explain how betrayal can impact you energetically, and share ways that you can regain your balance and feel more grounded and in control.

By connecting with your deep energetic wisdom you can start to trust your intuition, heal your chakras and implement self-compassion into your daily life. Everything from the way you dress to the amount of self-love you provide yourself can have a huge impact on your ability to heal. If you want actionable ways that you can start to reverse the energetic damage caused by your betrayal, this is an episode you cannot miss.

All of the resources you need to survive are inside of yourself. Are you ready to harness the power of your chakras and start treating yourself like your own best friend? Share how you use the power of your energy and self-compassion to heal with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Learn about the seven main energy chakras and your personal energy vortexes
How to utilize your chakras to connect and control your own energy and others
Discover how betrayal can impact your energy chakras on multiple levels
The importance of self-compassion and the role it plays when it comes to healing
What you can do to heal your chakras after a betrayal and get back into balance

Quotes

“Think about all the cells in your body came from sunlight. Everything you’ve eaten has either come from a plant or an animal that ate a plant, so you really are an energetic being.” (7:03)

“In terms of betrayal, this can really be shut down, because this is where joy lives. So in terms of being betrayed, you kind of feel that whole connection with life force, feeling creative, feeling vibrant is really kaput.” (10:58)

“You can feel these chakras in your body. You are not able to speak your truth, you’re not able to feel connected and communicate with people.” (16:53)

“We can heal and actually create something better, and everything is happening for your highest good.” (19:10)

Links

Join the Rock Your Midlife Summit

Dr. Ellen Albertson Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/111

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Zoe Niklas grew up enduring domestic violence, physical violence, emotional abuse, substance abuse, and sexual abuse. After multiple betrayals and traumatizing incidents involving both her mother and many stepfathers, Zoe harnessed her inner power and was able to break free at age 13. It wasn’t until she was finally taken in by a new family that she was able to embrace the healing power of love and create the life she knew she deserved.

Author of the book Driving In The Dark: A Childhood Memoir, Zoe is the true epitome of taking trauma and turning it into a life of purpose. Today Zoe is here to share her encouraging, insightful and uplifting perspective with you so that you can understand that even your darkest days can be healed through the strength of true love.

Throughout her journey, Zoe has used the power of the written word and theater to regain her memory, health, and happiness. From driving her mother’s car at 11 years old after she had experienced a seizure while running away to commit suicide, to finding hope and healing in the vision of life that she knew she was destined to live, Zoe’s incredible story is one of trial and triumph.

You can make it through the pain you are experiencing. By taking action and taking control of the course of your life, Zoe is here to provide you with inspiration to get you the help that you need and stop your suffering. How does Zoe’s story inspire you to take your biggest crisis and turn it into your greatest gift? Share how you related to Zoe with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode:

Learn how Zoe made sense of a childhood filled with broken expectations
Four steps to help you deal with your problems and overcome your trauma
Ways to embrace your own worthiness and stop questioning your own worth
Why you don’t have to accept the victim mentality of being ‘scarred for life’
How to cultivate a vision of the life that you want and are destined to live

Quotes

“They never dissed me or said I was tarnished by my background. They loved me, and that love made me love myself.” (14:51)

“I heard a voice as clear as I am sitting talking to you, and it was like a man speaking in a megaphone in my right ear. And that voice said “get help now”.” (17:33)

“That’s why I say that I am the luckiest person in the world because I knew what I wanted and I followed the way to get there.” (21:47)

“Never stop, never stop trying to save yourself, don’t stop, keep going.” (24:39)

“I am sure there are kids out there that are just as hurt as I was, and I made it, and so I want them to know that it’s okay. You can hurt and you can do all of those things, but you can make it.” (27:39)

Links

Zoe Niklas Website

Driving In The Dark: A Childhood Memoir by Zoe Niklas

Zoe Niklas YouTube Page

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/110

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Marie-Ève Bonneau lived for almost a decade with a devastating chronic illness that brought her to the edge of all that she knew. It took a re-routing of the brain and befriending her body again for Marie-Ève to stop the thoughts that were making her physically ill, and start embracing something entirely new from within herself.

Now a certified facilitator of yoga and expressive movement arts, meditation and breathwork, writer, facilitator consultant, and initiation guide, Marie-Ève works to bring light to the darkness of those ready to transform difficulty into a path of awakening. If you have ever felt like the foundation of your life is crumbling, Marie-Ève’s experience with turning grief into gifts is something you need to hear.

By looking for the reason behind your betrayal, you can transform your mindset just like Marie-Ève and access your inner wisdom and the wisdom of the Universe. Everything from finding your calling through your crisis, taking time to be present with your feelings and how to start accessing your own heart space is on this episode as we explore how to shed, integrate and process into a new state of presence and beingness.

Have you ever felt like your body betrayed you? Share how you related to Marie-Ève’s story with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Gain an understanding of Lyme Disease and other chronic illnesses
The power of your thoughts and how to tune into something deeper than your mind
How to rebuild trust in the health of your body and mind after betrayal
Tips for harnessing your challenging experience into transformation
Strategies that you can use to move the needle when it comes to your wellness

Quotes

“In those early days it did feel like my body was betraying me, it felt like the divine or maybe even life itself was betraying me, and I really had this sinking feeling that all bets were off.” (4:11)

“It took three years of very intensive treatment to finally make tangible progress, which felt like a miracle because I had tried to hard to dent the symptoms and nothing was working.” (7:38)

“Slowly but surely I started to feel like the clouds were parting, and my energy was returning, and I could function again.” (8:24)

“Instead of seeing it as a betrayal, that my body has betrayed me, I was able to shift that. And from a loving space, to actually attend to myself and attend to my body deeply.” (13:13)

“I started to orient around what I would call my center or my deepest truth, my inner essence. And then to learn to listen deeply and live in a state of reflectivity and connection and to move into the world from that place.” (21:39)

“Catastrophe or challenges that happen, whether it is an illness or something else, it is not a mistake. Ultimately it’s not a betrayal, but that is actually an opportunity.” (26:12)

Links

Centered Within Website

Follow Marie-Ève on Facebook | Instagram

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/109

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Abigail Rebecca grew up in a devout Jehovah’s Witness family. When she began to question the strict religious rules and conditions she was expected to live her life by, Abigail was rejected by her family and told that she was a ‘bad association’ for the family.

Instead of going along with a life where she was never allowed to question things, Abigail struck out on her own and decided to create her own rules. This episode is filled with Abigail’s unique and emotional story and sheds a light on what happens when you are betrayed by both your family and your religion.

Now an international coach, speaker and host of The Whole Shebang Project, Abigail helps smart and independent women escape their soul-sucking corporate jobs so that they can live a fulfilled, happy and purposeful life without risking financial security and status. With her Big Change, Small Steps framework, Abigail is here to help you find your way to make a difference in the world while making millions doing it.

If you feel betrayed by your religion, family or upbringing because you were taught something that intuitively didn’t make sense to you, this is an episode that you can’t miss. By making decisions based out of love and not fear and trusting your gut and the fact that you are destined for something greater, Abigail is passionate about helping you listen to your inner voice.

A non-judgemental conversation about free will, questioning the other side of the story you have been told, and trusting yourself, Abigail is the expert you need to hear from. Have you ever felt betrayed by the false truths you were raised to believe? Share your story with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Gain insight into life growing up in a devout Jehova’s Witness family
How to stop the victim mentality and avoid placing blame on others
The power of tenacity, determination, and believing in yourself in adversity
Why you should make decisions based on love and not based on fear
How to ask questions of yourself and others to follow your gut intentions

Quotes

“Looking back on it, I was completely, completely brainwashed and immersed in this religion that was basically dictating who I could hang around with, who could be my friends, what I should wear, the kind of life that I should lead, the kind of person I should marry. And really held by this fear that if I didn’t adhere to all the rules and the conditions… then eventually when the end of the world happens, that I would die.” (4:35)

“It’s so traumatic because everybody that you love, everybody that you hold dear in the world, just goes away. And you are left in this world that you don’t really understand because you haven’t been brought up like other people.” (13:28)

“I just started to realize that actually what I was taught when I was growing up, around associating with the right people and being careful about who influenced your mind, that was actually right. But they were doing it in a really controlling way, whereas I discovered that actually, it was my choice, it was my choice who I wanted to associate with.” (17:28)

“They were doing this out of love because they truly thought it was the right thing. And I think the understanding around that, and not actually blaming them… that was the first thing, and then the second thing was really truly believing in myself that I was destined for more.” (20:00)

“If you are ever in any situation like I was, where you are in any religion or any cult where there is only one side of the story and you are not allowed to question and find out the other side, always find out what the other side of the story is. Because how can you make informed decisions if you only have one side of the story?” (26:46)

Links

Abigail Rebecca Website

Join the Big Change Small Steps Facebook Group

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/108

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Have you ever heard of the DISC assessment? Midori Verity is one of the most innovative and successful marriage and communication coaches out there, who helps couples elevate their relationships by improving communication. Midori uses the DISC assessment to identify personality traits and help her clients adapt and adjust so that they can have a more peaceful and harmonious relationship, and is here today to share her knowledge with you.

If you are feeling unheard in your relationship or need help connecting, Midori’s insight into the four personality types can help you press the reset button and start to develop more support and synergy in your relationship. The DISC assessment can help you understand why your relationship is in trouble, assess what you need to do to move forward, and even help you when making decisions in the future.

By learning about what makes your personality type tick, you can better prepare yourself to find the job or relationship that suits you perfectly, and who doesn't want that? When it comes to relationships, it is all about the Platinum Rule, which helps you speak the language your partner speaks so that you know you are both being heard and understood.

Are you ready to learn about you and your partner's personality types and harness that information to start speaking each other's languages? Share where you fall on the DISC assessment with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Which personality combinations work well, and don't work well, in relationships
Learn how high-stress situations can impact the way in which you communicate
Why it is important to understand the different personality types of your partner
Tips for each personality type to communicate in another personality language
Discover which personality combinations are most likely to experience a betrayal

Quotes

“We all have a different language, we all have a different behavioral style and personality type, and when we can match that, we are going to be listened to more, we are going to be received more, and our conversations are going to be much more successful.” (3:37)

“When you go through challenges in life, whether it's in your relationship or outside of your relationship it doesn't matter, but when we go through challenges and we feel stressed, we react differently, that's why this is so important.” (11:02)

“In general, our natural graphs stay about the same, they will not change that much. But, we can learn techniques to help us improve in certain areas so that we can acquiesce in relationships.” (27:15)

“You have to kind of get to know what you are. I recommend for everybody to take a DISC assessment, even if you did before, take it again. And think about it from a relationship standpoint.” (28:29)

“The way that we see the world, is not how others see the world. So if you are bashing heads with your partner, often just some tweaks in the way that you understand them and the way you respond to them will diffuse situations.” (30:16)

Links

Secrets To A Kickass Marriage by Midori Verity

Midori Verity Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/107

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

Secrets to a Kickass Marriage: Marriage Guide to Living Your Dream Life

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Holly Bertone was on the highest levels of financial management when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. After beginning the journey to recovery while becoming newly engaged, she was diagnosed with the autoimmune disease Hashimoto’s less than a year later. While she expected support from the company that she had worked so hard for, Holly was met with accusations and dismissal.

The experience of betrayal and bullying in the workplace lead Holly to write her book, Thriving in the Workplace with Autoimmune Disease: Know Your Rights, Resolve Conflict and Reduce Stress. Since then Holly has become a sought after speaker, wellness expert, Amazon bestseller and President and CEO of Pink Fortitude.

Today Holly is here to share her story of overcoming medical adversity, lessons learned from betrayal in the workplace, and how you can thrive in gratitude despite your past experiences. If you have ever experienced workplace betrayal, this is episode is filled with practical information that you can’t miss.

Holly literally wrote the book on your rights and responsibilities in the workplace when dealing with an autoimmune disease or another workplace betrayal, and is passionate about sharing her resources with everyone so that you own your place in the workplace.

Have you experienced workplace betrayal? Share your story with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

A look into the shifting of priorities after a lifechanging diagnosis or event
Learn about paid leave during a health crisis, who to speak with for answers and more
The importance of self-reflection and difficult conversations when dealing with betrayal
Which offices you should be contacting if you are experiencing workplace discrimination
How to make sense and peace out of your workplace betrayal and when its time to leave

Quotes

“I just felt this peace that breast cancer was my gift and that this whole life transition was my new gift in life.” (5:45)

“An autoimmune disease is, as they say, the gift that keeps on giving. Cancer kicked my butt temporarily, autoimmune disease was a much bigger, longer journey of kicking my butt.” (8:24)

“You’re supposed to be in a management position, you are supposed to be supporting me, and I have legal documentation telling me that you are supposed to be doing this.” (14:09)

“There are not a lot of resources out there. I tried to find what I could, and its like navigating a sea without a map, you are just in this ocean and you can’t even see land at this point.” (19:20)

“I guess I kind of divorced myself from that connection and said ‘I need to stand on my own two feet during this process’. And I need to be my own advocate and I need to figure things out myself.” (23:06)

“I would not wish my journey on anyone, but I am so grateful that I have been able to go through it.” (24:55)

Links

Thriving in the Workplace with Autoimmune Disease by Holly Bertone

Pink Fortitude Website

Get Your Free E-Book Downloads Here

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/106

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

Thriving in the Workplace with Autoimmune Disease: Know Your Rights, Resolve Conflict, and Reduce Stress

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So often we forget to prioritize our own self-love and self-care after a betrayal, but these practices can hold the key to discovering who you are, how to come back to yourself and ways to stop putting other people ahead of you. Self-care is not selfish, it is self-preservation, and with the expert advice of our next guests, you can implement these self-love routines despite your busy schedule and start reaping the rewards.

Tammy Lawman and Brooke Emery are the co-creators of the Self-Love and Self-Care Symposium, a space dedicated to teaching you how to love yourself more fully, appreciate your unique gifts and take better care of yourself so that you can shine more brightly in the world. Tammy, a business strategist, and marketing expert, and Brooke, a connector and creative business strategist, work together to bring big vision to their clients and provide the fuel necessary to inspire, motivate and transform.

These two self-care experts are here today to give you simple strategies to start giving yourself a little bit more love. By allowing yourself the right to say no, connecting to your forgotten child and putting yourself on your own to-do list, you can start to shine your light brighter in the world. Are you ready to embrace Tammy and Brooke’s simple, easy and free steps so that you can figure out what you want out of your life and go after it?

Share your self-love and self-care habits and wishes with us in the comments section on the episode page.

In This Episode

Why saying no and setting boundaries can be a powerful act of self-love
Ways to prioritize self-care and cultivate self-love within your busy schedule
Short and brief rituals that can help you get your day back on track
The importance of starting your day with an uplifting gratitude routine
How to check in with your inner child and have more fun along the journey

Quotes

“When you are saying no to something else, you are saying yes to yourself.” (6:45)

“For me, to be able to share authentically and connect deeply with another person is the greatest act of self-love.” (11:25)

“Just try it on like an experiment. Just because that works for me, it doesn’t mean it is going to work for that person. But just trying to, maybe drive down a different road, you know? Just experiment with how the morning routine goes, because I really feel that the morning is how things set up.” (22:38)

“We’re sharing all kinds of tips and methodologies, all to help you get back to a place of fully loving yourself more and really learning how to take care of yourself, how to tap into your intuition and how to feel good in your body.” (25:24)

“We believe that when you love yourself you can go out in the world and you can fully love with your whole heart and really share your unique abilities and talents with the world.” (28:55)

Links

Self-Care and Self-Love Symposium

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/105

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Maggie Kelly is a mindful life coach, meditation instructor, podcaster, public speaker and awakener. After her son was born with cystic fibrosis, Maggie felt betrayed by her expectations of health for her son. Through meditation and mindfulness practices Maggie was able to turn introspectively to address her fear and dismiss her limiting beliefs.

Despite what you may think, ultimately you are not in charge. It is only by giving in to this universal power and accepting that you cannot control everything that you can find true peace. Today Maggie is here to provide you with actionable steps so that you can illuminate the roadblocks inside of yourself that are standing in the way of living an envisioned and awakened life.

By returning to the very foundational essence of who you are and what you are capable of, you can tune into what is around you and become at peace with the fact that nothing is permanent, both good or bad. Are you ready to take responsibility for your part in your betrayal and become okay with what happens when life doesn’t fit your perfect picture? Share your thoughts on Maggie’s story with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

How to make sense and meaning out of a betrayal of expectations and health
The role of meditation when changing your way of being and creating a shift
Getting comfortable with the idea that nothing is permanent or lasts forever
Why it’s a good thing to question your thoughts and stop believing them as fact
Investigating your role in your own betrayal by turning inward instead of outward

Quotes

“I think that it’s important when we are talking about betrayal and having a breakthrough from that experience or coming out of the grief of having been betrayed, I think it is important for us to stop and be a little mindful as to how did we get there.” (2:49)

“I was living out constant and consistent never-ending fear, that that is what drove the show. The fear always drove the show and that’s when I started to really get in touch with what that fear was about.” (8:03)

“Most of us believe what we think, and very seldom do we check it out with anybody.” (13:16)

“What meditation is about is for you to be able to notice that in that stillness your thoughts start to stray and take you away. And then in that noticing, bringing yourself back to that place of stillness.” (19:23)

“What’s really important when you are thinking that you have been betrayed is for you to actually step back and survey the situation and ask yourself what was my part.” (21:57)

Links

Sat Sang House Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/104

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Eva Medilek’s life came crashing down when she found text messages on her husband’s phone suggesting he was in love with another woman. What came next was a painful and messy situation, but through hard work and personal development, they were able to make the decision to do whatever it took to kill their old relationship and create a new one together.

Now a relationship style success coach, Eva helps other powerful women create a meaningful life by becoming more vulnerable and intimate. Eva is proof that your betrayal can open you up to revealing your greatest gift, and is here today to share her story and wisdom with you.

By staying in the present creation of what you can build, Eva is here to help you stop worrying about the past and start thriving in your future. Everything from the importance of personal development to tools that you can take back to your relationship is on the agenda today as Eva helps you close the intimacy gap.

Passionate about what is possible on the other side of betrayal, Eva wants to help you refocus your energy and persevere through your pain. An inspiring story of forgiveness, trust, and intimacy, this is an episode you don’t want to miss.

Has personal development played a role in your ability to move through your betrayal? Share your story with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

The importance of finding a therapist that works for both partners
Why you need to stand in the power of the relationship you want and deserve
How to have trust in your partner as a highly driven individual
Why your greatest betrayal can reveal your greatest gift and purpose
The role of your tribe and why you need to surround yourself with positivity

Quotes

“Once I realized that he was literally falling in love with another woman, my heart was racing, I just really wanted to collapse because I realized that everything that we were working to achieve could be lost. My marriage could end, and I could end up spending all of this time building this dream and end up alone again.” (6:24)

“Your investment is in the relationship, in the relationship that you are both creating together, it is actually not in the person.” (12:26)

“To use that drive to focus on intimacy, vulnerability, and connection in their relationships, and really rechanneling that energy and learning how to shift it.” (19:35

“Diamonds are made from that pressure, and the fire, and that’s where you can create something beautiful.” (22:51)

“I didn’t want this to be hidden and under the rug, life is real and how we show up in life and handle all of the challenges that life brings us, we get in trouble when we try to hide.” (30:10)

Links

Eva Medilek Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/103

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Dr. Michelle Eggenberger is an author, holistic stress and anxiety coach, doctor of oriental medicine, licensed acupuncturist, health coach and certified yoga teacher, just to name a few. After recovering from her own romantic betrayal and a string of health issues, Dr. Michelle realized that it was within her power to find a better way to live.

Through this journey of self-discovery, Dr. Michelle realized the importance of prioritizing self-love and self-worth and has since been on a mission to share her message with the world. Living proof that you can manifest the things you want in life if you work to keep the mind, body, and spirit healthy, Dr. Michelle is here to help you allow the Universe to guide you to where you need to be.

You have the choice to choose yourself and give yourself the happy life that you deserve. Making the decision to prioritize both your mental and physical health while becoming aware of how your thoughts affect you is key to becoming the architect of your own destiny.

Are you ready to allow Dr. Michelle to teach you how to harness the power of your body through yoga, awareness and the mind-heart connection so that you can find joy after your betrayal? Share your self-love and self-compassion tips with us in the comments section on the episode page.

In This Episode

Explore the connection between the mind, spirit, and body when finding self-love
Learn how your emotions are tied to your digestive system and overthinking your reality
How acupuncture can help you circulate and move your emotions through your body
Discover how your daily thoughts can manifest into physical emotions and reactions
The importance of practicing yoga and nurturing the mind-heart connection

Quotes

“One of the reasons why when we have a romantic betrayal it is so powerful in our own self-worth and all that is because of the vulnerability factor.” (6:05)

“Slowly I started finding the strength to understand my self-worth and my self-love and what I needed to do to step out of that relationship, that that relationship was no longer fit for me.” (10:23)

“We are so perfectly done that our body, when we haven’t been taking care of our mind and our emotions, our body will tell us.” (17:31)

“One of the things that happens when you start doing yoga as a real practice, you start going into the mind-heart connection. And that is where the real magic happens, for everything. That is where the real transformation and real healing happens.” (20:42)

“It’s the thoughts that we create that will create the feelings that we experience, that will create the actions and the reality that we see.” (22:48)

Links

The Energetics of Joy by Dr. Michelle Eggenberger

The Energetics of Joy Website

The Dharma Clinic Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/102

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

The Energetics of Joy: Natural Rebalancing Secrets to Stop Stressing and Start Living the Life You Want

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Michelle Dickinson is a passionate potter who has worked in the pharmaceutical industry for eighteen years and is the author of the memoir Breaking Into My Life, a rare glimpse into a young girl’s experience living with and loving her bipolar mother. Michelle has overcome years of neglect and confusion surrounding her mother’s mental condition and is here today to share how she came out on the other side a vehement advocate for mental health and ending the stigma.

Through her self-work and internal healing, Michelle has reached a place of forgiveness and determination to hold space in the mental health community and remove the stigma for those suffering and their caretakers. By transforming her experiences with her mother’s illness from harmful to empowering, Michelle is making massive strides when it comes to providing help to those who need it.

Michelle wants you to be courageous and take the first step towards healing, instead of pretending that what inhibits you doesn’t exist. Out of your greatest messes comes your message, and this episode is all about transformation and gaining the confidence to choose the life you want for yourself instead of the life you know.

You are not your past, and from this moment forward you have the power to create what you want for yourself and claim it as your own. Michelle is here to provide advice, hope and inspire your perseverance so that you too can triumph over what ails you.

How has Michelle inspired you to take your painful experience and turn it into something positive? Share your thoughts with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Gain a glimpse into life as a child caregiver for an undiagnosed bipolar parent
Tips for creating self-care boundaries and practices in the name of self-preservation
Why you need to let go of the limiting beliefs you may not even know you tell yourself
Signs that you need to look within yourself and do the hard work of self-discovery
The importance of abolishing the stigma around mental health and providing help to everyone who needs it

Quotes

“Our needs were always on the back burner. If I had a bad day at school or there was an upset with a girlfriend, that didn’t matter. What mattered was if she had what she needs. So I quickly learned how to hide my own needs and put whatever I needed on the shelf and really just focus on her.” (6:07)

“She kind of gave me permission to create that boundary and that space and love myself and take care of myself, when no one had ever done that for me.” (12:00)

“Self-care wasn’t something that I grew up learning. I was having to learn how to create boundaries and care for myself, this was an act of caring for myself by doing that.” (17:06)

“You don’t realize how these experiences from your youth and your relationship with your mother alter what you believe you can and cannot do in your life.” (21:52)

“I would want every child to know that they are perfect, whole and complete, just as they are, and that their potential is limitless. ” (23:57)

Links

Breaking Into My Life Website

Breaking Into My Life by Michelle Dickinson

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/101

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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I can hardly believe that we have reached the 100 episode milestone, and I know that you have learned a lot throughout the amazing array of guests I have been lucky enough to talk to. To celebrate I wanted to share with you the seven greatest lessons I have learned in the past 99 episodes, and provide you with a recap of some of the experts that may be worth revisiting depending on your topic of interest.

My goal is to provide you with an array of tools and amazing insights so that you can take off your rose-colored glasses and start moving the needle on your healing journey. Everything from divorce to forgiveness and essential oils has been covered in the past 100 episodes, and I am here today to highlight those that are going to help you live a confident and resilient life regardless of your betrayal history.

If you are ready to heal from your betrayal physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, I am here to help you onto the path of true happiness. No matter what your betrayal you can come out on the other side, and it is through these seven greatest lessons that you can empower yourself to do so.

Are you ready to rediscover the fire within yourself and find the lesson you need to learn in order to heal? Share some of your favorite episodes with us and let us know what topics you want to hear more of in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Recap the biggest takeaways and greatest lessons from the last 99 episodes
Highlight the non-negotiable importance of support when dealing with betrayal trauma
Learn the role of the body-mind connection when dealing with betrayal
Why you should choose empowerment instead of a victim mindset to achieve healing
Tips for embracing resilience, transformation, and forgiveness when healing from betrayal

Quotes

“Those were the episodes that I feel really shared the depth and importance of relationships and possibility, so if any of those resonated with you, go on in and listen to those again, you will get so much more out of it.” (17:49)

“While it may be impossible to eliminate all of the stress from your life, it is possible to train your brain to handle stressful situations with more grace and ease by employing tools such as regarding your mind before a stressful event and replenishing yourself afterward, you can build up your capacity to cope with the challenges of life.” (28:28)

“There are so many different tools that we can use to heal and that is why hopefully I want you to listen and relisten so that you can find the tools that work for you.” (31:57)

“Going through a betrayal impacts every part of us including physically, mentally and emotionally, and spiritually. When we are not able to heal and release the trauma, it can build up inside our cellular memory and cause illness, disease and unnecessary stress. It is only by treating our symptoms in a holistic way that we can begin to understand the mind-body connection.” (42:49)

“If you feel as though you wear a shield of protective armor that is hiding a fraud, its time to take off your battle uniform and live a life full of authenticity and happiness.” (1:09:22)

Links

Breakthrough Essential Oil Healing Products

PBT Institute Certification

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/100

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Darrah Brustein is equal parts teacher, connector and founder of Life By Design, Not By Default. After multiple betrayals in the business world including losing her job, embezzlement from her partners, and the lack of faith from her mother, Darrah came out the other side as the embodiment of the power of persistence.

Now a prolific writer, co-host of a YouTube channel with Deepak Chopra and a profound speaker, Darrah is here to share how you can build a life of your own design. Darrah is passionate about sharing everything that got her to where she is today, from the benefits of business betrayals to embracing your failures and what she learned as a result. After being burned by the people she trusted and a system she believed in, Darrah harnessed her motivation to move forward and leaned into her intuition, and you can too.

The true manifestation of effortlessness, Darrah wants to help you define a life that defines success for yourself, builds a career to help you fund it and attracts a network to support it. No matter the challenges you have faced, success is often right around the corner from failure, but if you stop at failure you will never reach it. Darrah is here to inspire you to create your zone of genius and keep moving forward while embracing the lessons the universe wants you to learn.

Can you relate to Darrah’s story of business betrayal? Head on over to the episode page and let us know what has kept you going or held you back in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Questions you should ask yourself if it seems bad luck is following your every move
Ways to become comfortable with uncertainty and lean into whatever life throws at you
Tips for following your intuition and how to use your past to embrace your future
How Darrah was able to cultivate a dream relationship with Deepak Chopra

Quotes

“I realized that the narrative that I had been taught, and almost spoon-fed my whole life, of you know, kind of the American dream. Go to school, get good grades, get a job, get the house, and so on, happily ever after, was not working for me in any way, shape or form.” (7:22)

“Instead of doing the thing I did the first time and picking the thing that I already knew I was passionate about and trying to make that an enjoyable and fulfilling career, which didn’t work. Let me try and reverse engineer this and try and find things that I am excited about doing and help me feel motivated and energized on a day to day basis and then become excited about the product or service as a result.” (9:09)

“It all came back down to the reputation and that we were building and building and doing it the right with integrity, and someone ripped that out from under us.” (16:57)

“I am a deep believer in where the current is taking you and where momentum exists organically is the cue that you are on the right path. And when it is not, and you are white-knuckling it and when you are swimming upstream is when you are not.” (19:18)

“Look for the evidence in your past to find even a tiny example of when things clicked and worked and how that felt, and let that even be a tiny example for you of how you can build more of that.” (26:05)

Links

Darrah Brustein Website

Follow Deepak and Darrah on YouTube

Follow Darrah on Instagram

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/99

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Have you ever felt dismissed or ignored in the doctor's office? This can be a form of medical betrayal and can leave many people feeling confused and without answers. Dr. Tom Moorcroft realized the deep connection between mental and emotional symptoms and hidden infections such as Lyme disease and mold and has set out to bring the news to patients and doctors alike to help provide those suffering from the trusting care they deserve.

It may surprise you that everything from your brain to your heart and your gut are connected. When you experience trauma, betrayal or are infected with a toxin that impacts your immune or digestive system, it can wreak havoc on your body and cause mood changes, sleep disruptions and a whole host of other mental, emotional and physical issues. In this episode Dr. Tom is explaining the science behind physical and behavioral changes due to an illness or infection, the difference between Pandas, Pans, and Polyvagal Theory, and what symptoms to be looking out for.

Get ready to learn something on this episode as we dive into how your doctor's dismissal to the psychologist's office could be misplaced, understand how your gut is related to all systems of your body, and explore how to reconnect with your head and heart by healing the disease you may not even know you have.

Just because your doctor may not understand the complexity of your symptoms, it doesn't mean that they do not exist. Once you are able to understand how the gut, heart, and mind are all connected, you can work to heal yourself from the inside out and give yourself permission to do the things you love again. Has a steal infection or illness impacted you or the ones you love? Share what steps you are taking to find a solution in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Different therapeutic approaches to become grounded in who you are
How to step away from including your disease as part of your identity
Understanding the connection between your gut, anxiety, and memories
Helping to heal your emotions, brain, and heart by first healing your gut
Altering the biochemical changes in your brain after experiencing a betrayal

Quotes

“A lot of people feel like they have been betrayed by the system. And it's not so much the system doing the wrong thing on purpose, it's often that their symptoms are so complex that they don't understand it.” (2:38)

“I’m not saying don't do therapy, don't do the medicines, but also once you do those things that are medically appropriate, also continue to look for the underlying cause.” (8:39)

“If we change what is going on in the gut, it changes our ability to create new memories, retrieve old memories, and also to deal with fear properly.” (17:27)

“Just because someone else is using different words and reacting to an experience different than I am, it doesn't mean that I am right and they are wrong or vice versa.” (22:53)

“As you open your heart and experience some more joy, your gut will open up.” (27:39)

Links

Dr. Tom Moorcroft Origins of Health Website

Empowered by Lyme Facebook Group

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/98

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Food can often be something we turn too after a betrayal in our to make ourselves feel better, which can lead to emotional and compulsive overeating. Stephanie Dodier has dedicated her life to helping women begin the journey of reconciling their relationship with food after betrayal and stop overeating. Today we are tackling everything from body neutrality to self-acceptance, self-compassion, and binge eating.

Overeating is not a symptom of being broken. You are working through your betrayal experience and using food as a way to work through the pain. It can be a vicious circle, but by understanding what drives your desire to eat and tips on how you can work to become more present when you eat, Stephanie is here to help guide you through this phase.

You can’t change what you are not aware of, and by taking your compulsive eating as a learning experience you can work with your body to reconnect to acceptance. Have you or do you currently struggle with emotional or binge eating? Let us know where you are on this journey in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Emotional eating and what drives it
Why it's okay to not have wired in will power
The first steps you should take after bingeing
Working with your body image and body neutrality
What you can do at this moment to begin your healing

Quotes

“We have a betrayal experience, we feel pain, we then turn to food as a way of numbing that pain. Yet, we don't know that most of us are not conscious of that, and therefore we think we are broken, that were out of control, that we don't have will power because that's what the diet weight loss industry is telling us.” (2:04)

“What I am here to tell you is that same power that betrayal has on your life, it has on your food.” (3:37)

“It's an out of body experience. Because you are running away from the pain that caused you to binge. Like the pain that you didn't know what to do with, it’s too painful so you are leading your body into that binge mode.” (9:59)

“Self-love is great, but what we really need is self-acceptance and self-compassion.” (14:38)

“What I want women to leave with today is that there is a positive that you can learn from your relationship to food and your body.” (18:46)

Links

Stephanie Dodier website

Going Beyond the Food Podcast

Claim your Food Freedom Training Program

Get your Food Freedom Score

Dr. Gabor Maté

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/97

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Clare Dubé is a financial therapist and founder of Smart Chats, a financial service helping couples and business partners save their finances and their relationships. Clare is an expert in taking financial situations from chaos to clarity and connection due to her own family business betrayal, and she works zealously to help others from making the same mistakes.

Unequal payments and draws in her family business lead Clare to start doing some self-work which prepared her for the ultimate betrayal of being cut out of what she was owed by her brothers, including her children’s college funds. Today Clare is here to shed light on how to keep things fair, embrace your value and start creating some boundaries.

If you have experienced a family or business betrayal and want to start looking at your situation with a different lens so that you can start to ease your pain, Clare’s journey is one you have got to hear. How does Clare’s story of resilience and turning your hardest pain into your greatest gift inspire you to stand up for yourself? Share your thoughts with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

How to look through other peoples lenses to forgive but not forget
Tips for managing your feelings when a betrayal is never acknowledged
How to use your betrayal as a motivating factor pushing you forward to success
The importance of clear boundaries and how they can improve any relationship
Why you need to seek clarity for yourself and others while speaking up and asking questions

Quotes

“It was when I started to really work very hard in this business and brought so much value to the business that I was starting to realize that shift was coming. It’s not about my self-worth, it’s the value I am putting forth in this company.” (5:16)

“Its really a deep dive that you have to keep questioning because you can’t just accept the first answer, you have to keep on going.” (7:33)

“I could choose to be a victim in it or I could choose to roll up my sleeves, start my own business and use my value in a way that I knew was best.” (11:42)

“It has to become a boundary, it has to be a lesson learned and it has to be a reminder.” (15:08)

“If you have been betrayed, whether it is in business or relationships, everybody plays a part so question where you are, what part you played, and be a part of it. Don’t take yourself out of the situation.” (19:21)

Links

Clare Dubé Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/96

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Tommy Breedlove is on a mission to empower humans to build a legendary life. A men’s mindset, relationship, and business coach, Tommy helps guide his audiences and clients to discover their zone of brilliance while living a balanced, meaningful life. An advocate for healing from self-betrayal through self-love, Tommy is bringing his amazingly profound mindset shifts to you to help you transform from a mess to success.

If you want to gain a male perspective on self-betrayal, explore what it was like to take part in an intense group therapy process, or are just looking for a few tips on self-compassion and self-respect, Tommy is the guy you need to hear from. We only get so many spins around the sun, and Tommy wants to empower you to make the choice to find your purpose and live the best life you can.

With an attitude of servitude, compassion and raw honesty, Tommy has turned his life around and is here to share his story and inspire you to do the same. Are you ready to do the hard work to have everything you want in life? Share this episode with a man in your life and let us know the response in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Tools to help keep you accountable when times get tough
Why you need to give yourself the love and compassion you give everyone else
The importance of talking about our darkness and knowing we are not alone
Tips for carrying yourself with power instead of force
How to become a better leader through empowerment and guidance

Quotes

“So many people loved me when I couldn’t love myself, and it leads to just disastrous consequences.” (7:32)

“Out of fear and out of wanting to be accepted and out of feeling unloveable, if there was a list of 100 things not to do, I had probably checked off about 90 of them. And at 37 years old I almost lost it all.” (11:53)

“I still do the hard work each and every day to be the best human I can be. But all of that process started with those 2 programs and then it’s just crazy what has happened in my life in self-respect, self-love, in my marriage, in my network, to my business, it’s just been this beautiful thing because it has been this slow shift from fear to abundance.” (15:35)

“How many spins do we get around the sun? We don’t know, so why don’t we choose to live as happy and as healthy as we can while we are here.” (17:23)

“I don’t want to change them, I just want to give them more tools to be legendary in their businesses, their careers, but just as importantly in their families and in their lives.” (24:22)

“It’s not if life is going to happen, but when.” (26:43)

Links

Contact Tommy at tommy@tommybreedlove.com

Tommy Breedlove Website

Legendary by Tommy Breedlove

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/95

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
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Did you know that patterns that may arise in your family, such as theft, cheating, and bankruptcy, could actually be being passed down throughout the generations genetically? Ariann Thomas has been exploring the connection between familial patterns and decisions for thirty-five years and helps her clients rewrite history and leave their past ancestors' burdens behind to change their own lives for the better.

Ariann believes that by healing the roots that may have started growing centuries ago, you can create a life filled with health, abundance, and happiness for yourself and future generations. Today she is sharing exactly how patterns and predispositions can be inherited through families, how to recognize and break a cycle of genetic transfer, and gives us a look into what her clients experience when on a Shamanic Journey to find generational healing and internal peace.

When you are able to go back and clear your patterns of betrayal from past generations, you can make way for a future full of healing and hope for the next. If you are open to the idea of rewriting history to change your familial decisions, clear out negative energy, and fill your soul with the happiness of the present, Ariann is here to help you take the first step on that journey.

Have you ever noticed a feeling of a past burden or a common family disposition? Let us know how you can relate to Ariann’s teachings in the comments section on the episode page.

In This Episode

Understanding the difference between nature and nurture in genetic predispositions
Why you may be genetically inclined to pick a certain type of partner or career
How to address traumatic experiences that have continued in the family for generations
Analyzing the role meditation and mindfulness can play in repairing your damaged DNA
What to do if you notice a pattern in your family behaviors that you want to change

Quotes

“Memories get passed down through our genes, into our children and our grandchildren. And they are triggered by actions that we see happening around us in our families.” (5:18)

“You may have a family history of betrayal, you don’t have to play that out if you are trained differently and that betrayal gene is not turned on and expressed.” (9:40)

“Until you heal the wounds that we have inherited until you heal the wounds that create that pattern, the pattern will continue to grow, the pattern will continue to manifest in your life, and the pattern will continue to show up in your children and grandchildren and future generations.” (13:07)

“I always talk about healing from the roots, but this is like the real roots, back many many generations ago.” (31:40) - Debi

Links

Free Healing Gifts From Ariann

Ancestral Lineage Clearing Website

Changing Our Genetic Heritage: Creating a New Reality for Ourselves and Future Generations

Healing Family Patterns: Ancestral Lineage Clearing for Personal Growth

The Female Factor: A Confidence Guide for Women

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/94

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

The Female Factor: A Confidence Guide for Women

Healing Family Patterns: Ancestral Lineage Clearing for Personal Growth

Changing Our Genetic Heritage: Creating a New Reality for Ourselves and Future Generations

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After being betrayed by what felt like 1,000 cuts, Rachell Kitchen was able to pick herself up and continue fighting. A survivor of extreme violence, divorce, drastic family health issues and even the murder of her father, Rachell is here to share her personal experience in the hopes of empowering you to move your life from chaos to clarity.

Now a speaker, author, life and transition coach as well as the CEO of Level Up 4 Life Coaching, Rachell knows a thing or two about perseverance and the ability to bounce back. Today Rachell is an open book explaining how her series of betrayals showed her the importance of asking for help and avoiding destructive thoughts.

Betrayals or large life transitions can often feel like too much to handle, and it is only by embracing some of the techniques Rachell learned at rock bottom that you can understand the cycle of change and dedicate yourself to showing up in that process.

A beautiful example of healing past post betrayal syndrome and an advocate for never allowing yourself to be victimized, Rachell is here to help you flip that switch and start healing from your traumas. Are you ready to embrace a new recipe for healing and fight your way through the dark side? Share what you loved most about Rachells story in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Learn how trauma can mess up your hormones and wreak physical and emotional havoc
Why you should get comfortable asking for help and knowing your worth
Signs that you are on the right healing path by finding joy amidst the chaos
Understanding the ripple effect of betrayal and how to focus on the positive lessons
Explore the forgiveness process while honoring the power of self-love

Quotes

“It just really did feel like a series of betrayals by a thousand cuts, it was coming at me from every angle, and I really just felt victimized.” (3:00)

“You may not like what is happening right now at this moment, but look how rich your life is, look how abundant you do have it.” (12:02)

“You can decide how you like to show up for the day, in that situation, versus acting out and acting in a way that would not honor your values and how you would like to show up.” (16:58)

“My gift that God put me here to do is to share my capacity to love. And how do I do that? By what I do best, helping other women find theirs.” (20:59)

“You do not have to be a victim to your circumstances, you do not have to undervalue the power that you have within, and give the power to the obstacle.” (27:48)

Links

Level Up 4 Life Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/93

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Dr. Corey Allan is a marriage and family therapist, author, speaker and licensed professional counselor with a Ph.D. in family therapy. He and his wife run Sexy Marriage, a podcast and online article resource that aims to help those experiencing difficulties in a partnership and provide resources to work through the dark days to experience more passion and trust in their relationships.

Unfortunately, betrayal has become an increasingly frequent part of any relationship, and it is only by understanding the steps necessary to overcoming partnership betrayal that you can start making the steps that feel best for your unique situation.

Corey believes that marriage is more about becoming a better human than it is about the two people being happy. And when you keep things simple, you can experience more in marriage and life. By learning how to trust yourself again, accepting the cyclical cycle of getting better and becoming a major player in your relationship for your own sake, you can earn back your free choice and start living a life that demonstrates that you are worth choosing.

If you are ready to take the courageous step and ask yourself how your marital betrayal can be used for personal development, Corey is the expert for you. Are you ready to reanalyze what you thought maybe a dealbreaker in your relationship? Share what you learned from Corey in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

How to view your betrayal like collateral damage rather than a personal attack
Individual and couple recommendations when experiencing a marital betrayal
Things that can move the needle on your partnership recovery journey
A peek into a general timeline for getting over shame, bitterness and more
Tips for rebuilding trust in a relationship and yourself after a betrayal

Quotes

“If they will buy into the fact that the relationship was co-created that helped create the dynamic to where an affair would occur. But whoever it was that was betrayed, it is not their fault, it was a choice by their spouse, by their partner.” (4:13)

“I am the therapist that I don’t hold people’s hands, I come straight at them. I figure you are paying money to get the truth, so lets not sugar coat stuff, that’s speaking to the best in people.” (12:38)

“This isn’t about what was done as much as it is the result, which is their hurt, their pain, their sadness, their disappointment, their grief, their whatever. Because what was has to be grieved, it was lost, so now we have to create something different.” (18:55)

“Affairs are actually symptoms of something else, they are not the main thing, they are a part of the main thing.” (22:33)

Links

Sexy Marriage Radio Podcast

Sexy Marriage Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/92

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford has seen her share of betrayal through her career as a forensic psychologist, marriage and family therapist. She has seen first hand the effects of traumatic experiences and the symptoms of re-emergence. Today Dr. Bates-Duford is here to shed some light on her experiences working to stabilize families, navigate mental illness, and help patients recover from abuse in order to get back to daily functioning.

If you have ever been curious about an expert’s opinion on relationship advice for everything from couples to parents to siblings, Dr. Bates-Duford is your girl. All topics are on the table today, including how to confront yourself in the mirror and the best way to get out of that ‘stuck’ state. By digging deep and getting into your own truth, you can take initiative in your relationship and disentangle yourself from the pain you feel today.

Have you ever experienced couples counseling? Let us know how it impacted your relationship in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Getting to your inner truth by confronting yourself in the mirror
Finding relationship boundaries between your home life and work-life
What to do when someone you trust betrays your sacred bond
Recognizing unhealthy emotional and physical dependency
The average timeline for couples working to repair a relationship after a betrayal

Quotes

“She found that she couldn’t even meet herself in the eye because she knew what she was saying wasn’t entirely true, she was trying to convince herself that this person wanted to help but couldn’t help.” (7:25)

“Certain people will never put themselves in your shoes. You can still love them, but it doesn’t mean you have to compromise yourself in order to prove that you are a strong and supportive family member.” (8:01)

“If someone else on the outside betrays us it’s really not that big a deal because, at the end of the day, part of us almost feels like we are expecting it because we don't hold them to the same standard as we do a family member or romantic partner.” (12:15)

“Typically when people come into couples therapy it is at the point of brink, and most marriages won't survive at that point… you need to get in as soon as you start to have negative feelings.” (21:00)

Links

Psych Central Blogs by Dr. Bates-Duford

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/91

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
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Have you ever considered that your digestive issues could be linked to an unhealed trauma or lack of trust? Dr. Marisol Teijeiro, aka The Queen of the Thrones, is the world leader in passion and gut health and has discovered the hierarchy on how to get healthy. Today Dr. Marisol is here to explain how your past betrayals could be showing up as a gut issue and what you can do to literally let go of your shit.

The thing is, our digestion isn’t just about how we digest our foods. Your digestive system is a representation of how you are digesting your life and can be a clear indicator that you are holding onto something that you need to address.

If you are struggling with any kind of digestive issue, want to understand the emotional component of digestive disorders or want to explore the ultra-sensitive gut-brain connection, you are going to love this episode. With Dr. Marisol’s expertise, you can understand how your stools can show how stressed you are, learn how your body works when responding to trauma and use your betrayal as a way to heal your body and help you find your purpose in this world.

Are you ready to start listening to your gut and transition from shit-show to owning your throne? Share your digestive journey with us in the comment on the episode page.

In This Episode

Learn how your digestive issues can be linked to an unhealed betrayal
Explore which digestive disorders can be linked to different types of trauma
Why you need to become aware of what your stool is telling you
Specific things that you can do to take back control of your throne
Understanding the role of gratitude and meditation in digestive healing

Quotes

“Any kind of stressor, emotional or physical, will completely run down the digestive system.” (4:06)

“Our digestion isn’t just about digesting food… it’s a manifestation of how we are digesting our lives.” (5:38)

“If you don’t feel good from a mental, emotional, spiritual level, the place that it is going to manifest for your wakeup call is going to be in your body, bottom line.” (15:49)

“We are each given a gift, and our journeys are part of that gift. And we really need to embrace it and be in the present and realize that what has happened to us, those traumas, are really gifts for us to evolve and it is our mission in this world and it will show us our purpose.” (18:37)

Links

Legends Of The Throne Free Gift

Follow Dr. Marisol on Instagram | Facebook

Dr. Marisol Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/90

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
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Joshua A. Shea is a recovering pornography addict who is here to shed a different light on the topic of porn addiction and what goes on inside the mind of a porn addict. Joshua’s 20-year addiction came to a head when he pulled himself off his bipolar medication and engaged an underage girl in an online chat room. Now sober, out of prison and still living with his wife and children, Joshua is here to explain the real motivating factors behind his own personal porn addiction.

For Joshua, it was never about the pornography or the alcohol but instead about the control he gained from using this material. If you have been hurt by someone’s porn usage or want to gain a better understanding of the decision-making process of a pornography addict, this is an episode you need to listen too.

Despite the fact that many adults look at pornography, it is a topic that nobody wants to talk about. Joshua wants to open up that conversation and shine a light on the problem of pornography addiction to help others who may be struggling as well. If you are the spouse or the partner of a pornography addict, Joshua wants to make sure that you know that it has nothing to do with you and provide you with insights to help you understand that there is no stereotypical addict.

Do you or somebody that you love struggle with pornography addiction? Share this episode with them and let us know how transformation has proven possible for you in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Understanding the role of past trauma, alcohol and control played in Joshua’s addiction
Why you should not confuse intercourse with a pornography addiction
Learn how Joshua’s wife handled the situation and did the work to heal
Explore what recovery looks like now and the importance of being willing to try
Addressing the way that the Internet is changing society and pornography usage

Quotes

“Pornography and the alcohol, they both allowed me to escape someplace else. They allowed me to go somewhere where I was in control. And that ultimately is what my pornography addiction specifically was about my entire life.” (5:07)

“I think I even made the joke back then that all of these different people would only ever meet at my funeral, and they would all have very different stories to share with one another because they all knew different versions of me.” (10:46)

“Despite the magazine falling apart, despite the fact that I was drinking more and my relationships with my family were falling apart, life was crumbling, and the one place that I could exert control was in the middle of the night in these chat rooms.” (17:10)

“I don’t blame the addiction for what I did. The addiction did make me get out of control, it did make me not recognize cause and effect and not recognize what could happen and make poor decisions. However, I made the very poor decision to pull myself off my bipolar medication.” (21:41)

“Despite the fact that the vast majority of people are looking at pornography, everybody wants to pretend that they don’t. And if everybody pretends that they don’t look at pornography, I am not even saying addicts, but if everybody pretends that they don’t look at pornography, how can we even begin to have conversations about pornography addiction?” (29:12)

Links

Recovering Porn Addict Website

The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About by Joshua Shea

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/89

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About: How I Let My Pornography Addiction Hurt People and Destroy Relationships

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Antesa Jensen is an American living in Copenhagen who overcame her broken childhood and relationship with her mother to learn how to trust again after betrayal. Despite being told she was ‘disgusting and needed to be cleaned’ as a child and undergoing multiple medical procedures which felt like an invasion of trust, Antesa has worked to heal her relationship with herself and find validity in her experiences. Now Antesa works with coaches and clients to evoke real-time transformation and guide powerhouse trailblazers to trust and believe in themselves to find the life of their dreams.

This episode takes you on a journey through the ‘dark night of the soul’ to understanding your own power to choose how to trust and make different choices. In the end, you may be victimized, but you do not have to feel like a victim. It is only by understanding that your truth is about you and making sense and meaning out of your experiences that you can find true healing.

Antesa believes that the only way out is through, and is here today to inspire you to gain a willingness to feel all of your painful emotions and navigate your path to your true self-expression. Instead of numbing, avoiding or distracting, Antesa is proof of the power of facing your fears head-on to heal it once and for all.

What did you find most inspiring about Antesa’s story? Share your thoughts with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Understanding the freeze defense mechanism in situations of betrayal
How to learn how to be vulnerable again despite the fear of betrayal
Exploring the importance of presence and emotional intelligence
Learn how to trust yourself again through validating your experience
Why facing your challenges head-on is the only way to true healing and acceptance

Quotes

“The communication that I received was that ‘you are dirty, and you need to get clean’. And that was the way that I was sort of lured into compliance.” (7:52)

“I didn’t want anyone to know what my truth was because I felt like it had been prematurely taken away from me against my will.” (11:08)

“I was the one handling everyone else’s needs, and I never ever even questioned what my own needs were, it was not a conversation that happened inside of my head.” (14:34)

“The body is a tangible experience of what is happening intangibly inside of ourselves, and when we are healing our heart it hurts. The only way out is through. You have to feel it.” (21:52)

“My coach, at the time, was somebody who I was initially disgusted by. And I think it is because she represented and embodied everything that I thought I couldn’t have.” (24:46)

“You can’t trust other people to not betray you if you don’t trust yourself.” (30:05)

Links

Antesa Jensen Website

Follow Antesa on Facebook | Instagram

Little Boy Standing in Water YouTube Video

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/88

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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After a betrayal, it is common to feel held by your grief and trauma, unable to break free and live your best life. Alyson Franz realized this, and after being trained in comprehensive energy psychology she created the Paradime Shift LLC to help people transform their lives with individualized programs to achieve major personal and life changes. She put the concept of life transformation officially on the map in Rhode Island and is here today to share exciting ways to move forward from the pain and grief of trauma.

Alyson helps her clients find an answer on how to heal from grief when ‘giving it time’ just isn't working for you. She is here to help all of us realize the clue that there is something more to life, and learn how to release our trauma so we can walk around without the heavy burden of it day after day.

Today Alyson is sharing her 4 Step Process for Healing from Grief and Trauma, her favorite forms of energy therapy, and the nine most typical barriers to healing trauma that she sees regularly. Plus, she is exploring the relationship she has with her mentor, dismissing myths about grief and trauma, and so much more.

If you are ready to transform your life and stop being burdened by the pain and grief of trauma, this episode is for you. Have you tried any of the energy therapy techniques Alyson describes today? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

Healing from grief using unconventional and unique ways
Why people carry grief, trauma, and pain for decades
The role that guilt plays in letting go of grief and how to begin to release it
Differences between energy psychology and comprehensive energy psychology
How time can help in allowing yourself to experience healing

Quotes

“Once I started to figure out how to heal my grief, I started to realize that what was underneath it was a lot of trauma from childhood” (2:47)

“That just got me started thinking about healing and life and what is meant to be in a whole different way. And I hit the ground running and I’ve been running ever since” (7:32)

“I could just feel literally an internal shift that I wanted and that's when I went, I need more of this stuff in my life. And I also realized I needed to become proficient in it so that I could share it with the world” (10:33)

“I think we just need to be able to get out of our own way and look at guilt for the lack of value that it really has.” (14:06)

“Even though it might feel overwhelming, we are energetic beings, and we have ways to get to the root of the problem and release it” (19:10)

“I believe that everything is meant to move us forward in life. So once you heal from this, once you do these first three steps you are going to be better than you have ever been before” (30:29)

Links

Henry Grayson PhD

Your Power to Heal by Henry Grayson

Get your Free Copy of The Grief Cure by Alyson Franz

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/87

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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What if your betrayal was the paying of a karmic debt from generations ago or a karmic imprint on your soul memory? Dr. Swan Montague was given three months to live over 17 years ago when a master teacher and healer appeared at her death bed instructing her to clear the seals on the realms of secret knowledge. After spending twelve years in total seclusion learning the sacred knowledge of the universe, Dr. Swan emerged as one of the world’s leading experts on karma.

If you are doing all the work that you can to move past your betrayal without success, a past life or karmic synergy may be the answer to finding true healing. Dr. Swan is here to help you identify your patterns, which of the three main roles you are playing in your karmic debts, and how to become okay with not being able to fix everything.

By addressing your ancestral lineage as well as through our own souls' past lives both individually and as a group, you can clear your karmic history and get rid of the pain that has been plaguing you. An energetic and spiritual detox and a complete reprogramming are necessary to heal the unfinished business and trauma you have from this life or past life and pay your karmic debts.

In the end, we are spiritual beings here to have a spiritual experience, and it is your challenge and opportunity to bring that spiritual experience together with your human reality to become a divine-human and heal your karmic past.

Do you feel that karma could be playing a role in your current pain or past betrayal? Share what you learned from Dr. Swan in this episode in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Why it is important to clear and heal your past and future karma scenarios
Understanding how betrayal can be a karmic debt from generations ago
How to know when you have healed your karmic betrayal and moved beyond it
Looking at the souls’ journey through many lives and your own ancestral heritage
Ways to get out of the cycle of playing the hero, victim or perpetrator

Quotes

“Everything is karmic, everything that is happening in our reality is karma. There’s good karma and bad karma but basically we all come in with a certain amount of karmic rebalancing that we need to get through in this life.” (2:42)

“When we heal the trauma and we clear the pattern and clear the karma, our reality completely changes, because we are creating our reality all the time.” (8:01)

“We have all been our own ancestor seven or eight generations before, so very often we are playing out patterns in our life that were set up as we were our own ancestor.” (14:37)

“Once we heal that pain we can then observe, we can then witness and be very, very present emotionally with people going through trauma without having to be the hero, without having to fix them or rescue them.” (19:53)

“We are not here to save the world, we are here to be one with the divine and be in divine service and allow the divine to work through us in whatever way it needs.” (21:28)

Links

Sacred By Swan Website

The Book of Sahara - Jesus’s Secret Wife by Dr. Swan Montague

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/86

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Sheila Sutherland woke up one day to find that her brain and body had betrayed her, unable to form full sentences and left with pain everywhere except her face and hair. The medical community had a lack of answers and an overindulgence of antibiotics which lead Sheila to venture out on her own and find healing on her own terms.

With over 20 years of experience in the science and education fields, Shiela used her knowledge and the power of holistic medicine to heal her myalgic encephalomyelitis and find peace in the betrayal of her body.

By making meaning out of your trauma and finding what works best for your own healing journey, Sheila is proof of the power of managing your behavior and responses to increase success in both your personal and professional lives. Through meditation, gut healing, kickboxing, nature and more, Sheila is here to provide tangible ways to help you live your life with the utmost happiness.

If you are looking for tools on how to overcome a bodily betrayal or master this thing that we call life, Sheila is the guru you need to help you pay attention to your body and your mind to take back control of your body and your life.

Have you ever dealt with a bodily betrayal? Share your story with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Exploring the individual experience of PTSD and how it affects each person individually
Tools to help manage your stress and anger through healthy emotional outlets
The power of meditation when healing chronic pain and emotional trauma
Ways that you can heal your gut and microbiome from the inside out
How to reconnect with your body through meditation, nature, and self-care

Quotes

“As great as it was that they could put a name on it, the problem was that because it was so rarely diagnosed and not really studied, there was no medical protocol.” (7:34)

“I had a rather strong conversation with my doctor and said, ‘I need to figure this out on my own’. Because unfortunately the traditional medical community doesn’t really have anything for me for this, and I need to try something else because this isn’t working.” (9:29)

“Meditation, like anything, is a practice. You have to do it on a consistent, regular basis. And in doing that my mind finally went, oh, so we can rest a little bit. And it started learning that there was another way to do it.” (16:40)

“Eventually it was, ‘I have to let this go.’ And it took time, it is not an easy, overnight process, but I had to get to the point of ‘I can’t keep holding onto this.’” (24:48)

Links

Reignite Your Purpose Website

Follow Sheila on Facebook | Instagram

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/85

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Dr. Sheri Keffer's life came screeching to a halt when she found out that her new marriage to a pastor was filled with pornography, affairs, and prostitutes. Now a clinical sex addiction therapist and EMDR practitioner in addition to her audience of over two million people per week on her regular co-hosting gig at New Life Live, Dr. Sheri knows what it takes to heal and helps others realize that they are not alone, not crazy and can heal after sexual betrayal.

The way men and women experience sexual betrayal is very different, and it is only by engaging in a total truth-telling process that you can work to heal yourself and your relationship. The physical and mental symptoms of betrayal can seem overwhelming, but when you equip yourself with the right boundaries and ability to see the truth for what it is, healing is possible.

The process of rebuilding starts with you first, and it is Dr. Sheri’s mission is to give betrayed partners a roadmap to healing and recovery. With tools like EMDR and therapy, Dr. Sheri is here to tell you that you are worth fighting for and it is possible to rebuild with or without the person that hurt you as long as you have the truth first.

Have you or a loved one experienced sexual betrayal? How do you relate to Dr. Sheri’s story of deception and healing through exposing the truth? Share your story with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Exploring the shock after a marital sexual betrayal and how to find the right help
Learn about betrayal blindness is and why it can be so powerful
Why your well-meaning therapist could be doing more harm than good
The importance of taking care of yourself and being in a truth-telling process
How EMDR can help you connect your thoughtful and emotional brain

Quotes

“All of it hurts, but the more intimate, the more emotional, the longer that relationship is, the more compulsive the sexual behavior is. It is harmful to us.” (4:59)

“At some point, I had to wake up from this nightmare I was living in that I really didn’t want to look at.” (10:34)

“A partner who is betrayed needs two things that are critical to heal, like two pillars, they need safety and they need the truth. And until they have those two things, a betrayed partner cannot settle into their body.” (19:17)

“The first step of recovery, whether you are staying with your partner or not, is recovery for yourself. Because you can’t fight for that relationship if you are lying flat on the ground.” (28:32)

“We have to be very proactive in getting in front of good therapists that know what they are doing with sexual deception.” (28:10)

Links

Get Your Freebies Here!

Intimate Deception by Dr. Sheri Keffer

Brave One Blog

Dr. Sheri Keffer Website

Bravery After Betrayal Retreat

Follow Dr. Sheri Keffer on Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

IITAP Website

APSATS Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/84

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal

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Dr. Alexandra Stockwell is a physician turned relationship and intimacy expert who helps committed couples shift their mindset and find the emotional and sensual intimacy that they crave. After watching her nine-year-old daughter's zest and vibrancy for life, Alexandra realized that she needed to find that spark within herself again if she wanted to foster a healthy and happy life for her children.

Many people view a long term relationship as a place where passion goes to die, but when you are able to shift your mindset and find peace within yourself, you can bring pleasure and purpose to all aspects of your life.

In this episode, Alexandra explains how children of divorce can often share similar looming thoughts and feelings, how you can be inspired by prioritizing yourself and your connection with your partner and explores the uncharted territory of life after betrayal to be truly honest with the reality of your relationship.

If you want to find hope in intimacy after betrayal, re-establishing your connection as a couple or find the courage to address the real issues within yourself and your relationship, Alexandra is the expert for you.

How do you address your own internal betrayals that may be sabotaging your happiness? Share with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Common symptoms, fears and looming thoughts found in many children of divorce
How to prioritize connecting with your partner as two sensual adults
Addressing the lack of models and information when it comes to an ideal relationship
Tips for creating a healthy, honest and romantic relationship after betrayal
The importance of figuring out how you have betrayed yourself first

Quotes

“I knew that if she continued to grow up in my presence, living at home for another nine years, there was no way that she could sustain all of her radiance because there was a part of me that was uncomfortable and unsatisfied.” (7:21)

“Once we have a particular identity… it's like it ends out vibrations and then things happen that reveal that to us.” (15:01)

“When you want to be great at innovation, there are all kinds of people you might learn from, Elon Musk or whatever. The same thing in sports, in music, but when it comes to relationships, there really is a lack of models worth emulating.” (20:25)

“I want to be able to give people a sense of where to move towards no matter where you are starting.” (30:42)

Links

Dr. Alexandra Stockwell Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/83

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Dr. Meg Haworth is a wellness expert, nutritional celebrity chef, transpersonal psychologist and best-selling author who is proof that it truly is possible to heal from anything. Having faced over a dozen chronic illnesses, survived childhood sexual abuse and getting struck by lightning, Dr. Meg focuses on holistic wellness solutions for those who have developed a chronic illness as a result of their adverse experiences.

Going through a betrayal impacts every part of us, including physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. When we are not able to heal and release this trauma it can build up inside of our cellular memory and cause illness, disease and unnecessary stress. It is only by treating our symptoms in a holistic way that we can begin to understand the mind-body connection, and Dr. Meg is here to shine a light on your environment's ability to alter the core of your being.

Chronic illness as a result of betrayal is something that many struggle with, but it doesn't have to be that way. If you are ready to heal your mind, body, and soul as one whole entity, Dr. Meg is here to help you find your enlightening power of choice and get to the next level of your healing journey.

Have your past experiences resulted in a physical, mental or emotional illness? Share how you are working to release the past and move forward holistically in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Learn how to release your past experiences from your cellular memory
Looking at the connection between the mind, body, and spirit to find holistic healing
Explore the major link between adverse childhood experiences and illness
How to shift your wellness journey through real food and trained professionals
Discover what it is like to be struck by lightning and how Dr. Meg continues to heal

Quotes

“Most medical practitioners, they are always looking for what is wrong with you physically and how do we help that physically. But it was really the mental, emotional and spiritual issues that were beneath it all that were the biggest thing that unlocked the mystery of my own health.” (3:23)

“I knew I was spinning in anxiety all the time, I knew that I was a wreck on the inside and that the smiling outside didn’t match the inside, I knew all of that. But I didn’t understand how it was wearing away at my physical body.” (7:28)

“That question in that moment really changed the course of my life, because then I decided that I needed to take my healing into my own hands and look at some alternatives or complementary care that might be able to help me actually heal.” (12:14)

“You’re looking at the connection between the mind, the body and the spirit, and the mental emotional and spiritual are really at the core of the experience.” (20:18)

Links

Dr. Meg Hayworth Website

Get Well Now by Dr. Meg Hayworth

Get Well Soon Podcast

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/82

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

Get Well Now: Healing Yourself with Food and The Power of The Mind

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According to recent data, there are over 152 million Americans who are victims of narcissistic abuse. Narcissists can entangle themselves in your life and can cause a severe amount of trauma and betrayal. Narcissism and betrayal can lead to the perfect storm, and it is only by recognizing the red flags of a narcissist that you can set boundaries and heal yourself so that you don’t become a narcissist magnet.

Tracy Malone is the founder of Narcissist Abuse Support, a global resource that helps victims in over 145 countries heal after a narcissistic relationship. Whether it is a romantic partner, family member, friend or co-worker, narcissists thrive on getting what they can out of people, which is why the pain from this type of betrayal can run so deep.

Betrayal is just part of the package when dealing with a narcissist, and the sad truth is that they will never change. By putting language towards narcissistic tendencies, understanding the stages and tendencies of a narcissist, and not sharing your shame story unless someone deserves it, you can learn how to protect yourself from becoming vulnerable to a narcissists’ game.

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, wanting to heal and get to the stage of ‘no-contact’ or are looking to understand the mind of a narcissist, Tracy is here to shine a light on a topic so many struggle with.

Are you ready to break the pattern of narcissistic abuse and learn your own internal lessons so that you stop attracting or falling prey to narcissistic tendencies? Share your experience with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Red flags to look out for if you think you may be in a relationship with a narcissist
Understanding the different types of narcissistic personality disorder and their traits
The three stages of narcissistic abuse and how to get to the ‘no-contact’ stage
How to heal from an abusive narcissistic relationship and move past your fear
The importance of rebuilding trust in yourself to heal your trauma for good

Quotes

“They know they have got you. All they have to do is mold themselves to what you are telling them you are looking for, and they’ve hooked you! It’s a green flag to them.” (6:07)

“Most people, sadly, get discarded, or leave a narcissist seven times before they are able to go no contact and never have to deal with them again.” (16:10)

“[Narcissists] can’t really change themselves. They can go back into that love bombing stage, and they can act, but they are never ever going to be able to feel empathy.” (18:00)

“Abandonment is not just ‘daddy left when I was six’. It's someone not being there for you emotionally who is in your life. So if you have been with a narcissistic partner, they have emotionally left you and you feel abandoned.” (21:51)

“If you don’t do the work, you’re going to hook another narcissist, you have to learn this lesson before you go out there, so let yourself have time to heal.” (30:39)

Links

Narcissist Abuse Support Website

Follow Tracy on YouTube | Facebook Group

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/81

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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More often than not, trauma gets stuck inside our bodies, and we need to get it out in order to begin to heal and move on. Devorah Steinberg is an LICSW, therapist, love coach and spiritual seeker who has dedicated her life to helping others reach their goals in love, spirit, and their life purpose. After a deeply personal spiritual journey helped Devorah find clarity, and true love, she created the Wise Woman Path to Love. Now, she is dedicated to helping her clients through online and in-person coaching in order to heal patterns of self-betrayal through mind-body approaches.

Devorah believes in the ability of mind-body practices such as yoga, hypnotherapy, and bottom-up processing in order to help yourself get unstuck. When you can forgive yourself for the ways in which you betray yourself, you can trust your intuition and avoid heartache.

It is all about the people, techniques, and healing that can help you move past your betrayal. Providing an arsenal of tools to reach out and try, Devorah is here to help you find what works for you and move from a place of darkness to freedom and light.

Have you tried any of the practices or techniques Devorah discusses on this episode? Let us know your experiences in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

Recognizing and acknowledging your unconscious self-betrayal
Specific mind-body practices to help unlock your inner potential
Helping other women on the path to true love through a spiritual journey
The crazy experience Debbie had during a yoga class and the best types of yoga for beginners
Tapping, hypnotherapy, EMDR, and other effective therapeutic techniques

Quotes

“I started out with that deep draw to the mystical. And to what is going on at the core, at the seed, going deeper and deeper and deeper” (2:23)

“If you are focused on just giving and there is no giving and receiving to the depth of that level of balance, guess what's going to happen? You're not going to receive” (8:29)

“After 25 years of searching and literally feeling like I was banging my head against the wall, three months later everything changed” (10:50)

“No matter how long you have been feeling stuck, wherever you are there is a place to heal. You are not forever bound to be in this place” (26:27)

Links

The Wise Woman Path

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/80

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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When healing from a betrayal there are endless ways that you can help yourself, including cleansing the spaces you spend time in. From your home to your work, Feng shui could be the answer to getting rid of past negative traumas and embracing a new version of yourself. Kim Julen is a Feng shui expert, psychic, angel card reader and love activist who helps others find harmony in their head, heart, and home.

Creating a healing space in your home or office can work wonders for your mental, physical and emotional wellbeing. Kim is here to teach us about the process of Feng shui, which areas of your home can be affected by different types of conflict or betrayal, and how to create an environment that energetically supports what you want to have in your life.

If your space feels like it is keeping you down, it is time to cleanse and neutralize your environment to get rid of the past betrayal and find peace. When you can utilize Feng shui to harmonize your workspace, home life and most importantly, your life, you can create a space that reflects the life you deserve.

Which Feng shui tip are you most excited to implement in your space? Share how you are working to cleanse your environment in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Understanding the different types of feng shui and the role it plays in your happiness
Tips to make your home or workspace energetically full of protection and confidence
How to balance out the control in your house with your children or spouse
The 5 elements of Feng shui and how to harness them to balance your environment
Learn a Hawaiian prayer to facilitate forgiveness and why you should say ‘I love you’

Quotes

“Doors are the voices of the adults. And if you have doors that are squeaking, get some WD-40 out and oil them because that will help calm down the complaining.” (24:35)

“I love you, I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you. And you will see it in different ways, I like to have the I love you first. Because on a soul level, we all really do all love each other.” (26:56)

“Really truly, forgiveness is really about loving yourself. It really isn't about loving the other person, but whenever that thought or that person comes into your mind if you are saying ‘I love you’, that's expressing love to yourself.” (28:38)

“If there is chaos going on in your life, most likely there is chaos going on in your space as well.” (29:22)

Links

Feng Shui Freebie

Finding Your Fiji Website

Learn Why and How to Energetically Clear Your Space YouTube Video

Follow Kim on YouTube | Facebook | Instagram

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/79

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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So often we think people who are happy have had easy lives, and Shari Alyse is living proof that despite hardships you can still become a joy magnet. Co-founder of The Wellness Universe, Soul Ventures and an internationally recognized speaker, truth coach, author and blogger, Shari radiates joy and dedicates her life to spreading the message of finding the love that exists within.

After sexual molestation at age seven, resulting in her testifying on the stand and eventually sentencing her abuser to prison, Shari had no idea that her trauma was still following her years later. It wasn't until a life-changing trip that she realized the joy she had been searching for all along was inside of each and every human being. Now Shari is passionate about reigniting the light in everyone and bringing joy back to people's lives after they feel like they lost it for good.

Joy is at the heart of who we all are as people, it is your choice to tap into it and share your gift with the world. Even when something rocks your world, if you are able to stand up for yourself and fight for your inner power, you too can find never-ending joy.

In what ways does Shari inspire you to bring more joy into your life? Share with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

How to find a home within yourself and show up as you are
Reminders and tips to help you move through difficult situations
Ways to find joy when you feel as though all hope is lost
What to do when you are having a down moment and how to pick yourself back up
Releasing the need for perfection and being okay with whatever shows up

Quotes

“You can make a difference every single day in everything you do with the small things.” (8:51)

“What I was told during this time was that I was brave and courageous and strong and I saved all these girls, but I didn't feel brave and courageous and strong, I felt like a girl that had been hurt and didn't understand why this had happened to her.” (13:37)

“This is about you knowing that nothing on the outside matters. It doesn't matter what your financial status is, and it doesn't matter what things you have or what your relationship is, joy is something that we all just have and its whether we choose to tap into it or not.” (16:55)

“I am doing people a disservice when I do not share with people my truth. And my truth is that I do struggle, and that I do have challenges, but I have learned the tools and how to navigate it, to help myself not sit in that space for long.” (22:33)

“I know this sucks, I know that it's hard, but I also know that because of who we are and what we were built to be, that we are and you are okay.” (29:32)

Links

Shari Alyse Website

The Wellness Universe Website

Soulventure Website

Join the Joy Spot Community Here

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/78

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Transformation happens through consistent action, major perspective shifts, and a willingness to adventure into the unknown. Regardless of how much trauma and betrayal you’ve experienced in your life, if you’re willing to put the work in, you will see results. Our guest, Monica Bennett, shares today how she’s worked through her past to now help women overcome theirs.

Monica’s parents were both Holocaust survivors and her childhood was full of fear and uncertainty. She grew up in an unhappy and disappointing environment and later learned that she was generationally passing these traumas onto her daughter. But over the years, she’s learned many coping mechanisms for working through and healing from her trauma.

The way we respond to betrayal can actually become a pattern in our lives; it’s something we get used to. Breaking that pattern helps us move forward. Monica finds that writing three pages of her thoughts every morning helps her make sense of her thoughts. She also shares how other aspects of her life impact how she responds to trauma, including the food she eats.

Monica explains that one of the hardest parts of healing from trauma, for her, was learning who she was outside of it. When you’ve sat in trauma for years, do you really know who you are? She gives us some examples of how she learned who she is. And while it’s not for everyone, Monica worked with a holistic shaman for a number of years to get to the root cause of her trauma.

How have you committed to working through your trauma every day? Let us know what you gained most from Monica’s story in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

How to move forward after betrayal
Why betrayal can impact multiple generations
How responding to betrayal can become a pattern
Why writing out morning pages every day can help you understand your betrayal
How your food habits can impact how your body responds to betrayal
How you can create your identity outside of trauma
What mirror work is and how it can help you move through trauma
What role a shaman can play in working through feelings of betrayal
Why you need to commit to working through betrayal every day
What can help you break through old limiting beliefs

Quotes

“Once you start looking and becoming aware of your past betrayal, you have understanding. Once you have understanding, then you have clarity. And once you have the clarity, then you can start to move forward.” (3:00)

“These words, these neuropathways, are so almost hardwired, that slowly we have to learn to disconnect like a wire to a plug in the wall. We have to learn to disconnect slowly.” (15:00)

“Unfortunately, you have to step out into the unknown if you do want to heal. And that’s where the tricky part comes because the unknown can be so uncomfortable, that you’ll come back to the known, even though that is so uncomfortable. But at least it’s familiar.” (18:18)

“I realize that not every day is a good day, but I know I have the insight to navigate the days with gratitude.” (25:39)

Links

The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron

Positive Mind LLC Website

Monica Bennett on Facebook

Call Monica on 516-297-0672

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/77

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

The Artist's Way: 25th Anniversary Edition

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After a business partnership resulted in the loss of money, security and time with his family, Sachin Patel realized he needed to make a change. Thanks to his emotional imprinting, strong faith in karma and desire to learn from the experience, Sachin has since harnessed the pain of his betrayal into a stronger business and leadership role.

A must-listen for any business owners struggling with resiliency after things didn't work out the way they expected, Sachin is an inspiring example of how to come back from a betrayal stronger than ever.

Combining his desire to keep people out of the medical system by empowering them through self-care, and his ability to let things roll off his back thanks to emotional imprinting, Sachin is here to explain why following your hunches is usually a good thing.

Has a business relationship or experience soured your ability to move on? Share what inspired you most about Sachin’s story in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

How a bad business situation ended up being the best thing that ever happened
The role emotional imprinting can play in your ability to let things go
Ways to reverse engineer your betrayal so that it doesn't happen to someone else
Tips to become a better business owner and leader despite your hardships
Having faith in karma and the manifestation of your thoughts

Quotes

“I had to keep a smile on my face the whole time, which was a tough thing to do.” (12:02)

“I was just kind of banking on the fact that ‘hey this could pay off in the long run, and if it does it's going to pay off big’. And once I realized that it wasn't, it was time for me to walk.” (13:34)

“When you lie to someone, that's betraying them. When you lead someone on, that's betraying them. Even if your intentions are good, if it is not the truth, its betrayal.” (17:59)

“I don't feel super bad for myself because I learned so much, it was like a $60,000 education I got. And it was through that education that I realized, ‘hey, here is how I can run my business so that I never do this to somebody else’.” (24:14)

“We can use what we have learned to serve us, to make sure that we don't do it to somebody else, and just create a much better future for ourselves instead of living in the past.” (27:59)

Links

Free 30-Day Program

The Living Proof Institute Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/76

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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You may not know it, but you are somewhere on the emotional eating spectrum. Your ability to dial your eating back is what determines your likeliness to eat again, which is something Tricia Nelson knows all too well.

The world’s top leading emotional eating expert is here with us today to give us all the knowledge necessary to combat your emotional eating from the root. Tricia has worked for over three decades to understand the hidden causes of the addictive personality. Tricia has identified 24 different personality types that make up the emotional eater, created ways to combat it for good, and is sharing this crucial information with you today.

If you want different results when it comes to your weight and are looking to move beyond where you are now and find happiness, you need to address your emotions and their connection to food. Emotional eating is something you cannot overcome on your own, and Tricia is here to provide support and a proven system to help you overcome your emotional eating and get you through to the other side faster and more successfully.

How did this episode connect to your relationship with food and your emotions? Share with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

The difference between emotional eating and being a food addict
How saying no to things can build your self-esteem and confidence
Ways you can become aware and tap into the emotions behind food
The most common personality characteristics that make us eat emotionally
Understanding the direct link between how you are feeling and what you are eating

Quotes

“It wasn't until I started to address the emotional eating that I was really able to lose the weight and keep it off.” (3:22)

“Those times when we are really eating so much, the sense of shame and guilt that comes with that, it's so detrimental to our overall self-esteem and our relationships. There's like a barrier between us. Not just a barrier of fat but a barrier of guilt and shame between us and other people.” (8:45)

“Just somebody listening to this, it is going to heighten their awareness. Somebody who hears this is never going to be quite as in denial in before, and it is hopefully going to start the pattern of healing by just recognizing ‘wow there is more to it than I just like chocolate.’” (13:08)

“It's okay to be a deep feeler, it's a beautiful thing if you know how to process your emotions and have a healthy way of dealing with emotions so that you are not overloaded so that you are not absorbing the pain of the world and using food as support.” (21:42)

“The key is getting off of the diet mentality. Stop trying to lose weight and start addressing emotional eating.” (24:08)

Links

Free Guide To Heal Your Hunger

Emotional Eating Spectrum Quiz

Heal Your Hunger Website

Heal Your Hunger Book by Tricia Nelson

Heal Your Hunger Podcast

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/75

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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After a betrayal, it takes a willingness from both parties and the ability to hold space for one another's pain in order to move forward. Anna Osborn is an LMFT, founder of Life Unscripted Counselling and co-creator of Shine Retreat for Women. Anna works to help couples find safety and healing while navigating the tricky waters of rebuilding a relationship after betrayal.

You owe it to yourself to bring your best and healthiest self into the next chapter of your life, with or without your relationship with another. It takes some hard work to find consistency between your words and your actions, but with some effort, you can find peace within the ‘what-ifs’ and actually do the work necessary to heal.

Being able to triage the huge intense wound of a betrayal is possible when you are able to remember what it was like before and rebuild trust after grieving the loss of that chapter in your relationship. If you want to improve your communication, deepen intimacy, heal from betrayal or change your negative patterns of disconnection, Anna is the expert for you.

Have you been betrayed and are considering rebuilding a life with the person that hurt you? Let us know what you gained most from Anna’s insight in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Signs to learn if your partner is truly being present in your healing journey
How to gain the emotional understanding of what it means to really hear somebody
Creating body awareness and the ability to give a voice to your physical sensations
Suggestions for both the betrayed partner and the betrayer to move on without shame
Learn ways that you can build or rebuild trust in your relationship and yourself

Quotes

“Although the choices that the betraying partner made are devastating and unfair and all those sorts of things, life is multi-layered.” (7:45)

“There's a way that the relationship has been breaking down, that has lead to greater vulnerabilities, to where the betraying partner made this choice.” (10:59)

“I really believe that when it comes to this type of work its really about supporting and helping people on the path, to be able to lay something down, because it's simply too heavy to be able to carry into the future and the relationship that they deserve.” (15:21)

“Part of the healing process is to create enough stillness around to know what you need healing to look like. And that is a day by day journey.” (27:36)

Links

Life Unscripted Counselling

Her Life Unscripted Podcast

Shine Retreat for Women

Contact Anna and Mari at info@ShineRetreatForWomen.com

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/74

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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A licensed marriage, family and sex addiction therapist, Mari Lee understands the differences between sex addiction and other forms of addiction such as drugs and alcohol. The founder of Growth Counselling Services and the Shine Women’s Retreat in Laguna Beach, CA, Mari is an expert on helping sex addicts, and their betrayed partners, find clarity and understanding.

This type of trauma can leave many physical, mental and emotional symptoms in its wake, and through the help of professional like Mari you can discover if healing is possible in your relationship. Mari is here to help you rebuild your self-esteem from feelings of rejection and abandonment and help you manage and heal from your betrayal trauma.

Today we dive into the bio-psycho assessment process, sexual dependency inventories and formal disclosure processes so that you can be equipped with the necessary knowledge to take the first steps to recover. When dealing with a sex addict it takes wisdom and insight to figure out how to heal, and Mari is here to help you gain that knowledge.

How has sex addiction impacted your relationship? Share with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Learn how sex addiction differs from alcohol or drug addiction
A look into the assessment and treatment process for individuals and couples
The common denominator between betrayed partners of sexual addiction
Understanding what self-care means to different people based on your history
Exploring the role your faith plays in your relationship and values

Quotes

“When we talk about my specialization, which is working with sex addicts and their betrayed partners, we're talking about a different level of trauma because a bottle of vodka, for example, doesn't have a penis or breasts or a vagina.” (5:23)

“All of this information, these messages that we hear that have so much mistruth to them, we really do need to challenge them and show up for ourself.” (17:12)

“It is very likely that they can heal as long as both people are willing to do the work.” (21:59)

“This is truly a labor of love to help women get their feet back on the ground.” (31:43)

Links

The Counselor’s Coach

Growth Counseling Services

Shine Retreat for Women

Healing from Betrayal by Mari Lee

Facing Heartbreak by Mari Lee

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/73

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts

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Louise Swartswalter has had a 20-year career transforming lives using a unique multi-dimensional approach to helping others cleanse the body mind and spirit of all that is blocking you from achieving your goals.

After using multi-sensory development protocols to help children with dyslexia, Louise realized the same principles could be applied to healing ourselves as well. With this knowledge, Louise created the B.R.A.I.N System and has helped her clients move from anxiety to calm in as little as one session.

Louise works with what is impacting you energetically, even if you do not currently realize its impact, so that you can clear yourself spiritually, mentally and physically. By clearing these blocks, you can release what is holding you back and rewire your brain for success.

Join us as we explore the power of muscle testing, biofeedback, and the impact of the spoken word so that you can empower yourself to clear whatever is blocking your goals and intentions for good.

Have known or unknown energetic blockers been keeping you back from living your full potential? Share your story in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Learn what biofeedback is and the great impact it can have on your brain
Understanding how your thoughts and words are connected to your nervous system
Simple ways to muscle test so you can have a fail-proof BS meter at your disposal
How to use the B.R.A.I.N. System to empower yourself and clear your blocks
Releasing the brain-soul connection from your betrayal to find true healing

Quotes

“When I started releasing the blocks in the field and the brain-soul connections in the field is really when I became more of who I came here to be.” (3:36)

“I started putting them on biofeedback and I started to see their brains change in a different way than I could help them with reading, writing, and spelling. One little guy jumped 2 grades in reading just with biofeedback.” (16:54)

“It's totally possible to completely change your life and change your energy.” (21:42)

“If you're not feeling like yourself, or you feel like you are out of balance, keep seeking, find those answers for yourself whatever they are. Everybody has a gift to give. And if you are not using your gifts in the world you are not honoring God.” (32:01)

Links

Louise Swartswalter Website

Follow Louise on Facebook

Albuquerque Natural Health Center

Follow Albuquerque Natural Health Center on Facebook

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/72

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Most of what we are doing comes from our subconscious programming that is largely influenced by our family patterns. Your lineage could be a great indicator of your susceptibility to being betrayed, or being a betrayer, and it is only by understanding it that you can correct your patterns and move forward.

Johanna Lynn is the founder of the Family Imprint Institute and helps her clients resolve painful patterns that can live on in generations as if on repeat. Your unconscious loyalty to a parent, or your ancestral alarm clock, could be having a major impact on the way you make your decisions and your ability to find happiness.

We tend to paint our partner with the same brush of what we didn't get enough of as a child, and the way you are triggered in a relationship can help you understand the greater forces at play. Invisible factors that you have inherited play a major role in how you make decisions about your life and relationships. Johanna is here to explain exactly how you can take control of those patterns so you can keep the good and get rid of the rest.

Are you ready to be real about your lineage and put your pain to bed? Share what you learned in this episode in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Recognizing the invisible factors that play into how you make decisions
Why you shouldn't jump back into a relationship too soon after your betrayal
The importance of giving your child equal access to each parent
What to do if you are noticing narcissistic behavior in yourself or your partner
Digging into the impact your family lineage could be having on your relationship

Quotes

“They say 70% of what goes on in a marriage has to do with each other's family of origin. But I can tell you, the more years I am in this work, the more I am convinced its a lot more like 99%.” (5:46)

“Until we’ve really recognized, ‘aha, this was the part I brought into the relationship that kind of exploded in front of my face’, were less likely to recreate that in the next relationship.” (11:02)

“We’re doing this not for the ex, were doing this for our children. Children do best with equal access to both parents, and the last thing we want is our children to be on our side against their own father. This is a huge determinant to kids and amplifies the likelihood that they will show up in a similar relationship.” (22:33)

“Betrayal doesn't have to be the end of your story; perhaps it is the start of a brand new book, with all kinds of new experiences. So make it a learning experience that opens the door to something better.” (26:03)

Links

Johanna Lynn Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/71

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Donna Martini is a writer, activist, wellness coach and part of the Fab 14. One of the strongest and most inspirational women I know, Donna has shown courage when embracing her childhood and marital betrayals and has been able to stop attracting negativity through a plethora of modalities.

Today Donna is here to share her struggle and how she was able to turn her pain into triumph and transformation. Learn how to positively manipulate your mindset, energy of the heart and soul voice, why you should choose to love unconditionally to help you get through your anger and resentment, ways to surrender to something more powerful than your betrayal, and much more.

Donna is living proof that on the other side of healing, you will discover the strongest, wisest and most empowered version of you. When you make the decision to go forward after betrayal you can set goals, gain self-esteem and trust in the messages and motivation you are receiving.

Are you ready to stop attracting the victim mentality and train your brain and body to hear your soul's voice? Share what steps you are taking in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Tapping into your soul's voice and learning to follow your own intuition
How to feng shui the crap out of your life and create a positive influence
Ways to stop attracting negativity by ditching your victim mentality
Specific mantras to use after betrayal to help you restore, heal and lift
Physical processes that can help you release your betrayal instead of meditation

Quotes

“I am happy not to remember everything because it is sometimes painful to go back there. But now I can go back and laugh about it and realize that I was physically changing to survive.” (7:22)

“You just need to willingness, and once you create the willingness and want to follow it, I call it the soul guidance, you lift out of whatever it is you are going through.” (10:22)

“We put on this armor, but I realized our biggest gift is really carrying a shield of love.” (15:57)

“I knew I had to cover betrayal, and it wasn’t easy for me to go there, it didn't come naturally out. Because it's just not something I go back to. I don't think I am blocking it, I think it's just that I feel so healed about it I don't think about it anymore.” (31:32)

Links

The Ten Commandments of Divorce by Donna Martini

My Mini Book of Mighty Mantras by Donna Martini

Donn Martini Website

Mantra Mouse Website

Follow Donna on Facebook | YouTube

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/70

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

The Ten Commandments of Divorce: How to leave your marriage without breaking up your family

My Mini Book of Mighty Mantras: A Daily Dose of Love, Wisdom, and Mindfulness (My Mini Books Series)

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After experiencing extreme life-threatening obstacles and abuse as a child, Dave Pelzer defied the odds to become a New York Times bestselling author and recipient of the National Jefferson Award. Daves book, A Child Called It, has brought a voice to the abused child he once was and provided inspiration to anyone searching for internal happiness.

One of the most resilient people I know, Dave has lived a truly extraordinary life and has persevered against all odds to better himself and his surroundings through simplistic happiness. A story of strength, inspiration, and resiliency, Dave is here to share his tale of determination for survival and how to create wonderful opportunities for yourself despite any bleak circumstances.

The truth is, none of us know how many summers we have left, so the key is to make those moments count. Hurt people hurt other people, and when you can accept this and realize your own potential despite the situation, you can channel some of Dave’s courage and begin your own healing journey.

What did you find most inspiring about Dave’s story of resilience? Share with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Understanding the role abuse, foster care, and the US Air Force had on Dave
Practical solutions to simply be happy while working on yourself first
How to harness your internal strength despite a broken spirit
Why you should always speak with a purity of the heart to never go wrong
The importance of focusing on resilience and strength over an abuse

Quotes

“My story was never about abuse, but more so on resilience and surviving any way you can.” (3:52)

“There are all these little stones in your backpack. And it's not like the one big thing, its always these small little ripples.” (11:39)

“You fail a thousand times, and then you get that one break that you really appreciate.” (20:24)

“You’ve got to keep the faith because you never know what the tide is going to bring in the next day. Or, in the course of a life, one never knows what events may transpire. And if you are going through a bad time right now, it's only for the now.” (30:12)

“Life should be practical. Life should be like a golf lesson. Keep your butt up, chin down, and swing away.” (30:41)

Links

A Child Called It by Dave Pelzer

Dave Pelzer Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/69

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

A Child Called It: One Child's Courage to Survive

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After a betrayal left Lindsey Makitalo feeling isolated and alone, the From Betrayal to Breakthrough Program helped her regain her passion and vitality for life. Now a relaxation yoga teacher, Lindsey works to help others find their own inner teacher through yoga and meditation.

We all have the power of gut intuition inside of us, but our minds have a tendency to mess things up. Lindsey believes in leaning into the uncomfortable and the unknown to change your mindset and move through your betrayal gracefully.

Lindsey is proof that when you feel the inspiration to do something, even if it is scary or uncomfortable, you should do it anyways. Growth is found in the inspiration of not knowing, and it is only by embracing the unknown that we can learn what we are truly capable of.

When you are able to harness healing techniques such as yoga and meditation you can allow your body to rest and in turn receive better sleep, more energy and make wiser choices. Learn how the FBTB program altered Lindsey’s life, and what you can do to make the scary steps to healing not so scary, on this episode.

Do you take advantage of the healing powers of yoga and meditation in your life? Let us know how these techniques have helped you become more centered and heal from your betrayal in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Understanding how yoga and meditation work to help you de-stress
How changing your route to work could inspire you to alter your mindset
Ways to become more productive by slowing down and connecting with yourself
Using your intuition as a guide to powerful healing and effective life changes
Why you should lean into the unknown and listen to your gut instead of your mind

Quotes

“I completely gave up on my business because I thought ‘well who am I to be doing this’ and I completely gave it up. And I never revisited having my own business again until years later.” (8:28)

“I just pushed through the fear and kind of let myself feel the discomfort of the unknown. Of not know what is going to come next, but trusting that anything could be better than what I had already been doing.” (14:24)

“It was a wake-up call, but it felt amazing. All of a sudden I realized I could actually be more productive because I was slowing down.” (22:43)

“Don't waste any more time being stuck, don't waste any more time feeling lost or putting yourself at the end of the to-do list. Put yourself first and everyone else will be taken care of, I promise you.” (26:55)

Links

Makitalo Living Website

Follow Lindsey on Facebook | Instagram

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/68

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Lori Anne De Iulio Casdia is a beloved member of the Fab 14, mom of two, and founder of LDC Strategies, a marketing and PR firm specializing in strategic planning. After a betrayal shattered her world Lori Anne joined my Ph.D. study and became an inspirational member of our community. Since joining the program Lori Anne has rebuilt all aspects of herself that were demolished by her betrayal and is here today to inspire you with her post-betrayal transformation.

When trust is shattered it can be hard to trust someone again, but making that leap is the only way to heal. It is up to us to rediscover the fire within ourselves and the intuition that we have had all along. While it may seem difficult to accept now, there is a reason for your circumstance, and when we can find the lesson you are supposed to learn, healing can begin.

Lori Anne advocates for you to open yourself up to listening to what the Universe is trying to tell you. It can be scary to reject the negativity of your old life, but with small steps every day you can take control of your responsibilities and actions to rebuild into something bigger and better.

This is an example of post-betrayal transformation at its very best. Strength, resiliency and true happiness from within is on display today as Lori Anne shares her inspiring words and tools to help you take charge of your own destiny.

Are you ready to stop watching the Discovery channel and become the Discovery channel of your own future? Share what about Lori Anne you resonated most within the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

How to have faith in your foundation's ability to handle life's challenges
Using the opportunity of betrayal to rebuild into something magnificent
The importance of finding a group to support your betrayal recovery
Embracing spiritualism as a way to ground and have faith in yourself
Ways to look for the sparks of what the Universe is trying to tell you

Quotes

“There is clearly a lesson to be learned, and it’s there for your own growth.” (11:13)

“Spiritualism to me is the foundation to healing. Whatever that means to you, but that spiritualism, that connection with the Earth, that connection with your God, with the Universe, is a foundation that gives us all the answers, it really does. And that answer is within us.” (18:11)

“I had an opportunity to sit there and wallow, and that was an okay choice for me to do, or make it bigger and better. And I chose to make it bigger and better.” (24:05)

“When I was in this relationship, I was sleepwalking, and the Universe was trying to rattle me. And I kept getting messages, and the messages started to get stronger and stronger to the point where it had to implode because I wasn't paying attention.” (30:02)

Links

LDC Strategies Website

Strategies by Design by Lori Anne

Follow LDC Strategies on Facebook

Healthy Lifestyles with Lori Anne Podcast

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/67

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Are you ready to enter back onto the dating scene after your betrayal but are worried about your ability to feel empowered or loveable? Lisa Copeland assists women in their 40’s and beyond to find love again by helping them find their confidence and move into the dating world with ease.

After a betrayal, it can be difficult to address the internalized beliefs that others have put on you. When you step back and question what you are saying to yourself you gain the ability to release your negative thoughts and start valuing yourself above all else. When you feel radiant on the inside it expresses outwards, and that is what men, and women, fall in love with.

Lisa provides tools to help you create a dating blueprint that can attract men at all times and appreciate yourself to the fullest. Providing dating advice that any 50-year-old woman would want to know, Lisa is a shining example of the power of positivity and a clear vision.

Has your betrayal impacted your ability to find love again? What tool are you going to put to work today to stop limiting yourself based on other peoples beliefs and finally find happiness? Share with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

How to realize if you are internalizing other peoples false negative beliefs
Becoming aware of the steps necessary for successful dating after a betrayal
Understanding the chemical changes of your emotions as you get older
Learn ways to allow others to give to you by nurturing yourself first
Ways to let go of the beliefs that are keeping you down and embrace your next step

Quotes

“I know a lot of women think ‘oh my god I am on a short time span here’. Which you are not, you have a lot of years still.” (2:09)

“Women forget how amazing they are because they have been listening to an ex never saying anything to them, or saying negative things to them.” (8:38)

“This is a time to really start giving to you, to nurture yourself. It is a really great time to sit down and every day say, ‘I am going to do this for me’.” (10:19)

“What I always tell women is to give nice men a chance. Because they can grow on you.” (19:11)

“You want to shine from the inside out, and that is what makes you attractive and beautiful to a man.” (28:24)

Links

Free e-book 5 Little Known Secrets for Finding a Quality Man after 50

Find A Quality Man Website

Follow Lisa on Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest | LinkedIn

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/66

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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A transformational teacher, coach, author, communication trainer and the creator of Super Conscious Self Coaching, Erika Laszlo has helped transform thousands of lives in 25 countries and 5 continents. Erika created the DEMERT method to help others forgive their hurt with 2 simple steps. With 25 years of experience in spiritual development and teaching, Erika is here today to share her unique method to help you heal and forgive.

Erika uses a unique coaching system with colored charts and family trees to understand the ‘why’ behind the betrayals in your life. Today she is highlighting the importance of being specific in your forgiveness, how to concentrate on what to do after you find out ‘why’, and how to break the family lineage and end a betrayal once and for all. Plus, listen in as I get my own Super Conscious reading and learn about the marital betrayals on my mother's side that has energetically impacted my family for generations.

If betrayal is showing up in your life, it could be past lineage wanting to be resolved. You have the power to stop the betrayal by acknowledging your hurt and using acceptance as a way to attract happier things into your life. Erika uses her intuitive ability to see the stories of a person's past to understand why they may be experiencing something, and shares this visceral talent with you today.

Your betrayal serves a great purpose because you now have the power to stop it. Are you ready to free yourself from whatever is holding you back with the DEMERT 2 Step Forgiveness Method? Share how it helped your experience with forgiveness in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Using science and research to understand inherited trauma in the present
Which two steps you need to take in order to forgive from all levels of your being
How to hold the energy of acceptance within yourself to find peace in others
Ways to free yourself from the anger and resistance like a bag of rotten potatoes
Understanding the genetic energy connected to triggering betrayals

Quotes

“I think love helped me out to get through it, you know?” (6:16)

“For me somehow it seems, that the times when women have betrayed me has always been more difficult, or even I can say, un-understandable.” (8:06)

“Forgiving is not about the other person, it's about freeing yourself up from the heaviness of the anger because the anger is in us and not the other person.” (17:24)

“With the DEMERT system, we also transform the energies. Basically, we don't transform it, the energy transforms by itself. It’s proven by quantum physics, as we focus on something, that something has to change its behavior.” (29:34)

“I did it, I know it can be done, and it is so much easier and lighter without the anger and with the forgiveness, and it is really my hope for everybody.” (33:26)

Links
Super Conscious World Website

Erika Laszlo Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/65

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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If you feel certain emotions but aren't sure of where they come from, it could be intergenerational trauma passed down from the DNA of your parents and grandparents. This phenomenon has been scientifically researched and is something that Emily Wanderer Cohen is very familiar with.

After being raised by a mother who survived the Holocaust, it took years of self-reflection for Emily to forgive this inherited family trauma and find joy in life again. Now Emily works to help others uncover their own intergenerational trauma, find acceptance and forgiveness for this betrayal of expectations, and move forward gracefully.

Instead of focusing on your families history of disease, Emily focuses on your families history of trauma to find the unexplained reasons that you may be dealing with physical or mental ailments. Just like eye color can be passed down, so can trauma, and it is only by acknowledging this history that you can remove your negativity bias and find healing.

Learn exactly how trauma can be passed down from one generation to the next, how these unknown yet familiar experiences can impact your physical and mental health, and what first steps you should be taking to work through this intergenerational betrayal and become more grounded in what you want for yourself.

Inherited familial trauma can take a serious toll on your health, relationships, and self-worth if you do not heal yourself from the root. If you are ready to get a grip on your epigenetics and find ways to move beyond the past, this episode is for you.

How has your family constellation impacted how you interact with the world? Share your story in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

How to know if your physical ailments could be related to an unhealed family trauma
Typical familial traits that can be passed down through generations
Classic textbook characteristics that can be seen by Holocaust experiences
Ways to heal from generational trauma through acceptance and mindset work
Specific body-based activities to help you progress through your cellular memory

Quotes

“What epigenetics says is when someone is exposed to a certain trauma, there are genes that are turned on and off when it is passed down into the DNA of their offspring, and it ends up evolving and changing.” (7:32)

“People will come to me and say ‘I don’t know why I am anxious, I don't know why I am depressed, there is nothing in my life that I have experienced that explains this.’ That's when we start digging deeper into the parents and grandparents, the family constellation.” (12:25)

“If an external environment can change your DNA, then it stands to reason that you have some control in a way to stop it or change it back or change it to a different way.” (17:55)

“A lot of times these thoughts just go around and around and around in your head, and if they do that you can't change them really. You need to change the story, it's just a story you are telling yourself.” (22:51)

“What typically happens is they come in with anger and resentment and anxiety. And they leave with calm, joy and forgiveness.” (26:11)

Links

FREE copy of Generation To Generation Ebook

FREE copy of The Daughter's Dilemma Ebook

Emily Wanderer Cohen Website

From Generation to Generation by Emily Wanderer Cohen Paperback Copy

Follow Emily on Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | LinkedIn

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/64

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

From Generation to Generation: Healing Intergenerational Trauma Through Storytelling

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Have you ever considered that your chronic pain may be connected to an unhealed betrayal? It may sound strange, but the link between our emotional pain and physical pain is undeniable and can be strong enough to manifest into illness and disease when left untreated.

Elizabeth Kipp overcame addiction, familial abuse, and chronic health issues before realizing that the source of her pain was from childhood betrayal that she had forced herself to forget about. By acknowledging this trauma and using both spiritual and scientific methods she was able to relieve her pain and realize her inherent healing power and is here to share this knowledge with you today.

A best selling author, EFT Tapping Practitioner, Ancestral Clearing Practitioner and Stress and Chronic Pain Management Coach, Elizabeth is proof that if she can heal from her past betrayals, anyone can. Elizabeth believes in navigating and clearing your familial lineage, forgiving yourself and one another through higher power energy, and learning about the gifts and burdens of our ancestors to heal the silent global epidemic of chronic pain.

Are you ready to create a deeper connection with the spiritual world to understand where you have been and create a healing and productive space to move forward into? Share how Elizabeth’s story of betrayal and strength through adversity inspired you in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

Ways to heal your emotions while also relieving your chronic physical pain
How to clear your body of the ancestral trauma you have carried into this realm
Retraining the brain and the nervous system to work on building a new neural network
Changes you can expect to see once you embrace meditation and Kundalini yoga
Receive an ancestral forgiveness prayer to release your feelings of betrayal

Quotes

“There was just a lot of looking away, and that's what the culture did, that's the way that the culture I grew up in operated.” (6:39)

“I was at what you would call a ‘sacred bottom’, where I had had enough, and I cried for help and I got it.” (9:18)

“Anything that brings you into the present moment and helps you stay there, and dropping out of being attached to all these thoughts and dropping into the breath in the body, anything that does that is going to help.” (16:11)

“We come into the world with the gifts and the burdens of our ancestors… and ancestral clearing is a way to help us release some of that burden.” (23:10)

“I would like you to know that you can heal from chronic pain, and you can certainly heal from the pain of betrayal, it is not a life sentence.” (28:07)

Links

Elizabeth Kipp Stress and Chronic Pain Management Website

40 Days Of Forgiveness Program

Book a Complimentary First Meeting with Elizabeth Here

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/63

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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After multiple childhood traumas, abusive relationships and health struggles, Tanya Penny hit a wall when she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis at 29 and decided to make a change. Today she is an author, occupational therapist and Vibrant Body and Abundant Life Coach who helps others realize the subconscious ties between our past betrayals and health and life issues to fully heal and move forward.

Tanya is proof that your belief system has the ability to create health and wellness or illness and disease based on what you feed it physically, mentally and emotionally. On this episode, she explains how betrayal stored in the body can manifest as illness and disease, ways to finally believe that you are worthy of love, and provides skills for you to plant the seeds of truth and shift your relationships, priorities, and spirituality to fit the real version of you.

The interconnectedness of our body and mind can be astonishing, so when we leave a trauma unresolved it will manifest in another way. Instead of allowing your betrayer that power, take control and arm yourself with the tools and knowledge provided by Tanya to overcome what many have experienced but few know how to deal with.

Are you struggling with physical symptoms that may be tied to a past betrayal or trauma? Share your concerns with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

The powerful effects of shifting your spirituality to release emotional trauma
How to feel a sense of power instead of victimization when confronting past trauma
Taking big or small actions to be more in line with what you want out of life
Practical ways to show up for the wounded part of yourself
Why you should be working towards acceptance instead of forgiveness

Quotes

“If you are having relationship issues, and who on the planet doesn't to some degree, you want to look back at what happened, what was that betrayal and what belief might I hold about myself and my relationship to the world given that.” (9:22)

“It’s really about you accepting and moving forward and shifting those beliefs that were created by it so that you can now attract those fulfilling and trustworthy people into your life.” (16:49)

“That spiritual perspective has given me strength and has helped to pull me through when I was really feeling like there was no hope.” (26:20)

“What we want to do is show up for, for some of you, it was the four-year-old, the six-year-old, the ten-year-old, maybe it was when you were twenty-five. You want to show up for that wounded part of you that was betrayed.” (28:16)

Links

FREE Vibrant Body & Abundant Life Starter Kit

Tanya Penny Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/62

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Do you sometimes feel as though the world is dealing you all of the hard cards, without letting up for a break? As Elias Patras explains, this could be because of subconscious negative thoughts that you project into the Universe, manifesting negativity at every corner.

Elias Patras is a motivational intuitive coach, author, holistic bodyworker and more who uses intuitive energy to promote self-growth and exploration. Elias believes in our power to co-create whatever we want out of the Universe when we are able to listen and connect to the signals we receive.

After a betrayal, it may seem as though it is impossible to focus on positivity. But, when you learn the lesson that the Universe was trying to teach you, you will be amazed at the benefits that you receive. Elias is here to help you understand the patterns of your subconscious, rebuild your shattered emotions and trust in your ability to manifest happiness by providing you with tools and practices.

We all have the innate ability to use intention, action, and manifesting to create the life of your dreams. Instead of getting dragged down with your subconscious trauma, start putting yourself first and work to fall in love with yourself again. Once you are able to accept love, reject fear and understand the patterns of our subconscious, you will become at peace with the Universe and find serenity within yourself.

How has your history or betrayal affected the way that you see the world? Share which of Elias’s tips were your favorite in the comments section.

In This Episode

Understanding the grieving process after betrayal and ways to rebuild
How to manifest intentions and actions into the life that you want and deserve
Why you should be careful when using the words ‘I Am’
Ways that negative emotions can manifest physically into disease
Distinguishing the difference between a partner complimenting or completing you

Quotes

“How can I manifest something for myself if I am constantly focusing on someone else?” (4:20)

“Words are wonderful, let's see what they do about those words, actions speak louder than words.” (8:44)

“When you have a complete person, and another complete person comes along and they put these two circles together, it is like a nice infinity sign. There is an ebb and flow and that person compliments you, they support you to compliment you being the best you. And if for some reason that is taken away, you are still complete.” (16:17)

“The feeling piece is the important piece, if you don't feel it, it's not going to happen.” (21:52)

“If you want to get to the next step, if you want to get to the next place, believe in self. And if you don't believe in self, there are so many people around you who do.” (28:57)

Links

Purchase Tickets for Elias and Debi’s Manifesting Desires Workshop Here

Elias Patras Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/61

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Do you feel as though you come alive when in nature? There is a science to this, and Dr. Maya Shetreat is an expert in the ways that reconnecting with the Earth can provide transformational healing. MD, neurologist, herbalist, urban farmer and author of The Dirt Cure, Dr. Maya uses nature to help others feel better and navigate a crossroads.

Today Dr. Maya explains how you can use nature to ground yourself and be reborn through your crisis as a more true version of who you are. She digs into the constant and ancient connections to nature you may have forgotten about, how to find a sacred place for your own healing both indoors and outdoors, and shares ways that you can protect yourself while creating a healing relationship with the Earth.

Once you understand the specific role nature plays in the life of a sensitive person or an empath, you can better harness those natural powers to help yourself feel better. Dr. Maya is here to provide tools for you to help find your own inner guidance and purpose by connecting to nature.

What is your favorite way to get back to nature? Share with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Understanding the emotional support and transformative power of nature
Specific ways that you can bring nature into your life during travel or work
How to avoid emotional burnout and navigate challenges as an empath
The importance of cleaning yourself and your space before a big event
Learn how to protect yourself and creating a healing relationship with the Earth

Quotes

“Literally going outside and being connected to the Earth, it sounds very basic or very obvious or sort of silly, but in fact, it's very powerful.” (6:32)

“This idea that we actually connect to the environment around us, it is a true way of healing.” (9:19)

“Cleaning yourself with water is a critical part of caring for your physical, emotional and spiritual bodies.” (20:58)

“[Being an empath] is a really important thing to know about yourself, because there are a lot of gifts associated with it, and it just takes special care to kind of navigate these challenges that can come up.” (26:33)

Links

Free Earth Medicine Transformation Bundle

Dr. Maya Shetreat Website

Terrain Institute Website

The Dirt Cure by Dr. Maya Shetreat

Follow Dr. Maya on Facebook | Instagram

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/60

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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After a blindsiding betrayal that left her as a single mom, Rev. Terri Ann Heiman was lost and searching for a way to feel connected. Through her work with a spiritual counselor, Terri gained tools to help her repair herself, and her family, and come out the other side stronger than ever. Today Terri shares her story and the energy practices that you too can put into place to move through the difficulties of your life and find your inner goddess.

Often during a betrayal, we deny our intuition and can feel as though the world as we know it has ceased to exist. Terri is here to tell you that you can heal by being open to learning about yourself and what you truly need. Learn ways to use breathing techniques, Reiki practices, and tools to guard your energy so that you can give the best of you to those that deserve it.

When you are able to heal your subconscious you can move past your betrayal and become reacquainted with your spirit. You can get out of a web of narcissism and deal with your betrayal head on to get to the next stage of life with an openness to healing.

How does Terri’s story resonate with you? Share with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Understanding the perfect storm between the narcissist and the empath
How to use Reiki on yourself and on others to create a peaceful energy
Specific tools to guard your energy and create a happy space for yourself
Finding healing through the use of jewelry, crystals and energy fields
Acknowledging the spirit within you as another layer of your physical body

Quotes

“I knew something was wrong, and I was just so busy that I didn't really pay attention.” (2:46)

“I had no idea what a spiritual counselor meant, but I knew I needed help. And so I did… and then I left and I got back in my car, and right there in the silence of my car I heard, ‘you are going to be okay’.” 7:38)

“I started reading and searching and really opening up to that spiritual literacy around me to find out who I was.” (11:05)

‘Until I really started working with my energy fields and knowing that this is not me, being really strong, that is when it started to shift.” (15:27)

“Because of what I went through, the passion to help other women started to come forward.” (16:23)

Links

5 Simple Steps to Setting Up a Spiritual Practice Guide

Terri Ann Heiman Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/59

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Stuck in divorce drama, trauma or chaos? Susan Guthrie and Rebecca Zung join me today to share how you can step into your life of freedom, possibility, prosperity, and purpose. Cofounders of Breaking Free Mediation, nationally recognized family lawyers, and divorce champions in their own regard, Susan and Rebecca are experts in all things divorce. Together they are revolutionizing the conversation around divorce through the use of mindfulness practices to help divorcing couples separate peacefully.

The decisions you make during this chaotic time will affect all the things that mean the most to you going forward, and Susan and Rebecca are here to provide helpful ways that you can mediate your divorce and find a relationship that is serving you instead. Learn the physical and emotional chaos that can be created by divorce, how to gain clarity during divorce limbo, and why you need to perceiver through the confusion to find your calm.

Instead of focusing on the injustice of your divorce betrayal, Susan and Rebecca are providing tools to help you focus on the power and freedom of the future that you now have. Susan, Rebecca and I are real-life examples of this transition in life and the ability to come out of the other side having learned how to survive and thrive.

Are you struggling with getting through the rough waters of divorce, or have you come out of the other side of divorce a changed person? Share your story with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Integrating mindfulness into the divorce process to make rational decisions
Signs that your marriage might be in trouble and the three deadly sins of divorce
Getting information and arming yourself with the knowledge to combat divorce limbo
Examples of divorce betrayal and the possibility of transformative inspiration
Ways to help your children deal with divorce betrayal at any age and find healing

Quotes

“It all comes down to, in the end, lying, or the not telling the truth, and it is sort of the death by a million cuts I always think.” (5:31) - Susan

“It just started occurring to me in my practice that there were, what I call the 3 deadly sins of marriage. Which I call the 3 A’s, abuse, addiction, and adultery.” (8:04) - Rebecca

“We know what it is like to be in a relationship that doesn't empower, but it doesn't mean that there is no hope of ever being in a relationship that empowers, it is definitely possible.” (13:41) - Rebecca

“The mindfulness aspect helps them to both manage the current emotions that are all negative but also set an intention and visualize where you are going to go.” (17:01) - Susan

“Yes you are going to go through this divorce limbo, you are going to sail the rough seas, but that's really what the best you ever retreat is about. It's also the door to an opportunity to create that new future.” (21:32) - Susan

“If you are just sitting there spinning around in that morass of emotions of, I don't want this, this shouldn't be happening to me, it's not fair, we hear all of those things. And that is the space that it is really important to help our clients get beyond.” (26:10) - Rebecca

Links

Free 5 minute Healing Meditation

Breaking Free Mediation Website

B.Y.E. Divorce Retreats Website

Breaking Free: A Modern Divorce Podcast

Breaking Free Ep 6: Dr. Debi Silber

Breaking Free A Step by Step Divorce Guide by Rebecca Zung

Rebecca Zung Website

Divorce In A Better Way Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/58

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide to Achieving Emotional, Physical & Spiritual Freedom

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Dr. Doni Wilson’s clients report peak energy, restful sleep, optimal weight and memory, enhanced fertility, and an overall sensation of feeling younger. It may shock you, but all of these results are achieved through the management of chronic stress. A celebrated naturopathic doctor, certified midwife, and nutrition specialist, Dr. Doni helps high performers understand their genetic tendencies to recover from stress exposure and cure the physical ailments associated with stress.

The stress you feel on a daily basis impacts every system and organ in your body, and every issue can cause a ripple effect until your stress compiles into physical symptoms. On this episode, Dr. Doni explains exactly how stress impacts your adrenal glands and telomeres, ways your physical inflammation is affecting your anxiety, depression, and sleep and how to find a middle ground with stress where you can outsmart it and recover from it.

When it comes to your health, you cant guess based on the symptoms, you need to find out what is going on so you can see your levels improve and start feeling better. Instead of ignoring your stress and having it potentially develop into something worse, learn how to understand it so that you can go from stress mode to stress recovery.

Dr. Doni establishes steps to take to identify what is needed for you to correct your imbalances and feel better, how to know if unmanaged stress is creating the physical symptoms you have, examples of nutrients you can use to calm your cortisol and balance your hormones, and so much more on this information packed episode.

Have you ever connected the dots between your stress and your physical symptoms? Share how Dr. Doni opened your eyes in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

Identifying indicators in your body that are triggered to stress affecting you physically
Ways to raise your cortisol in the morning, lower it at night, and balance your hormones
How to get your four systems working for you again and gain stress resilience
Helping your body get out of stress mode with nutrients, herbs and hormonal restoring
Looking at your genetics to find the best way to help your body respond to stress

Quotes

“We can find this middle place with stress where we are actually outsmarting it and were recovering from it and we are staying healthy even though stress is there.” (3:01)

“The good news is, we can reverse and recover from stress.” (11:54)

“We want you to feel better faster and effectively, and so instead of guessing its much better to test.” (16:54)

“It may start as a digestive issue, the next thing you know you are feeling anxious and you can't sleep, and it feels like its more and more different things going on. But I would say it is one thing, its the effects of stress just compiling in a vicious cycle.” (23:09)

“Instead of just allowing this to happen, you start to realize, hey I have a say here, I can start to make choices that are going to help my body get back to balance.” (27:35)

Links

Get the FREE Stress Warrior eBook Here

Start the 7 Day Stress Reset Here

Dr. Doni Wilson Website

Dr. Doni Wilson Full Book Catalog

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/57

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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It wasn’t until the third ‘major crisis wake up call’ in Vince Kramer’s life that he decided to make a change and take back control of his life. After his wife blindsided him with a years-long affair and subsequent divorce, Vince had a hard time shaking off the shame and embarrassment he felt from this betrayal. It wasn’t until he met his new wife, and began asking himself questions of spirituality and enlightenment, that he found his true calling in life.

Now Vince is here to help share his stories and knowledge to help others avoid his blindspots. Often men are told that they need to turn their emotions off and be successful at all costs, and this just isn't true. Vince is a real-life example of the importance of understanding your feelings, why sometimes it is much more important to listen to a problem than try to solve it, and what you can do to help you forgive yourself and others.

Vince was able to challenge his soul and learned how to tap into your higher self and the divine knowledge of the universe. Today he is ready to help you realize the gift of your life and find your own individual answers from the inside so you can express who you truly are on the inside.

How does your story of betrayal relate to Vince? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

Encouraging men to speak their truth and embrace emotions
What it is like to break the news of your divorce to your friends as a couple
Using spirituality to add to your array of tools to bring divinity to the world
Taking responsibility for your role in the creation of your situation
Different ways to look at forgiveness and accept it for yourself and others

Quotes

“I never thought of taking my life in any way, but there were times where it was like, ‘if something happened today, it just wouldn't be that bad” (6:10)

“When people were looking at us, it looked perfect to them. But there was an always an ache every once and a while you know, there's got to be more to life than this.” (11:03)

“It was very therapeutic for us, but more importantly it was a divine destiny” (14:57)

“I am important. I have something to bring to the world that the world needs. And it is my responsibility to realize that I co-create every situation.” (21:06)

“I am going to try everything. If it works for me that's cool; if it doesn't work for me, alright, I'm not going to do it. But I am going to try everything” (23:56)

Links

Freebies From Vince

Imagine Miracles Website

The Miracle U Podcast

Follow Vince on Facebook

Follow Imagine Miracles on Facebook

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/56

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Today I am joined by a fellow betrayal expert and podcast host, Anne Blythe, as we reframe betrayal as abuse and explore the often unacknowledged pain that women can be in for years. The founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery, a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization, Anne is passionate about providing education and support to women who have experienced an abusive betrayal and are seeking healing.

After realizing that she was in an abusive relationship herself, Anne founded Betrayal Trauma Recovery as a means to help women gain the words and acceptance necessary to explain and define an abusive betrayal experience in order to move on and make forward progress. Today she dives in deep as we explore themes of our oversexualized society and its harmful impact on women, the importance of collective grief and support, and why we need to become better educated on what abuse looks and sounds like.

Anne and I are here to make sure that you know that you are not crazy, and you are not alone. Listen in as Anne explains some common forms of abuse found in betrayal situations, ways to identify your abuse and set boundaries, and the importance of believing victims and trusting women. When you are able to educate yourself about abusive betrayal and find a support system of women who have been through it, you can walk through the fog and come out on the other side more aware and present than ever before.

By supporting all women, not just victims, to achieve a happier, healthier and more peaceful life, we can reduce the abuse cycle and resolve our issues at the core. Anne is here to help you circumvent the confusion period after an abusive betrayal and get on the path to feeling safe again.

Are some of the signs and feelings associated with an abusive betrayal sounding familiar to you? Share your thoughts and concerns with us in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

Ways to figure out if you may be being abused or betrayed without your knowledge
Using demonstrations like the Me Too Movement to learn to trust and believe women
Reasons why pornography use can be seen as an abusive tool of deception
The importance of teaching your children consent and setting personal boundaries
How to get the specific kind of support that you need after an abusive betrayal

Quotes

“That type of behavior, where you are purposefully manipulating someone to control the narrative of how they perceive you is abuse.” (3:33)

“As I have taken the time to heal, and as I have seen women come to our community and heal, my life has become immeasurably better. I have felt peace and I have moved forward with my life.” (10:54)

“Our community is an amazing place where women can feel validated, and where they can hear their experience through someone else's words sometimes.” (12:08)

“The misogyny that is rampant right now and the Me Too Movement really shows that people don't understand the way that objectifying women harms them.” (20:47)

“I have a Masters degree, I am not stupid, and I didn't know I was being abused. And so many women are in that situation.” (23:44)

“It takes a while to get out of the fog, but I think the important thing is to start walking on that path, and you will be lead to the places and the people that you need to find.” (29:09)

Links

FREE Gift: 9 Steps To Heal From Betrayal Trauma Checklist

Betrayal Trauma Recovery Website

Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast

Join A Betrayal Trauma Support Group Here

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/55

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Debora Wayne is an internationally known energy healer and pain release specialist whose expertise lies in helping people rapidly find and remove the hidden causes of their chronic pain, depression, trauma and more. An artist, reiki master, dancer, yoga teacher and founder of the Biofield Healing Institute, Debora is an expert when it comes to the manifestation of emotional wounds into physical ailments.

Everything in our world is energy, and negative energy can become stuck inside of you, with no place to escape. Debora helps her clients tap into this unresolved energy trauma to heal themselves before this energy manifests into a disease or illness in the body. While a physical manifestation of emotion is your bodies way of crying out for help, Debora has created an accurate and fast acting way to heal your biofield energy and change the patterns of your vibrations for good.

Every thought we have creates an emotional reaction inside the body, which releases chemicals and impacts our nervous system, immune system, and more. By equipping yourself with tools to help tap into your unconscious energy fields, identify your unresolved trauma and interrupt your energy patterns, you can release your stuck energy and shift your awareness. Based on the principles of physics and wildly embraced over decades of healing, Debora provides insights to help you alter your energetic pattern and start feeling better almost instantly.

Your chronic back pain or headaches could be a result of unaddressed emotional trauma. By facing your patterns, recognizing your symptoms and being willing to transform, you can heal your bodies energetic information, along with your physical conditions as well.

How does Debora’s work inspire you to dig a little deeper into your past? Share with us in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

How energy can get stuck inside of you and contribute to your physical challenges
Ways to remove damaging self-talk that you may not even be originally aware of
Learning how to communicate via the world’s energy field and vibrational levels
Symptoms that can be tied to an unhealed betrayal or unhealthy energy patterns
How to measure your light, energy, emotional, physical pain and subtle energy field changes

Quotes

“I kept trying to force myself into a box, into a world, into a life, that wasn't right for me, and it almost killed me.” (4:30)

“Our brain does not know how to keep us happy, it just keeps us alive, repeating this same pattern again and again until somebody helps you go deeper and asks you the right questions to get to the root.” (13:13)

“Within seconds I can scan someone's field, feel exactly where there is a disturbance, and change the vibration and create a harmonious vibration, and the old pattern will get interrupted and drop out of the field.” (21:19)

“We’re very disconnected often times from much of the information that is constantly inside us, and around us, that is affecting us, but we have never learned to pay attention to it.” (25:08)

“We are constantly getting information that is energetic, we just haven't learned to take it seriously.” (26:49)

Links

Get the Free Gift of Why Do I Still Hurt by Deborah Wayne Here

Biofield Healing Institute Website

Follow Deborah on Facebook | YouTube | LinkedIn

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/54

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Deep trauma experienced as a child by someone that you trust can have lasting impacts for the remainder of your life. In some cases, specifically in trauma happening before the age of nine years old, that trauma can lead to D.I.D or dissociative identity disorder, more commonly known as multiple personality disorder. JD Covert was exposed to this type of trauma and subsequent personality affliction first hand and has come out the other side to share her story and help others dealing with D.I.D know that they are not alone.

It takes a true understanding of D.I.D to realize that you are not weak, you are in fact a survivor. JD is here to explain what exactly D.I.D is, how it is formed in the autonomic nervous system, and ways that you can take steps forward to get past this ultimate betrayal. We explore the process in which you can create alters as a means of protection or defiance from childhood, how to get yourself to work as one cohesive unit instead of separate parts, and how to successfully live a full life as a host.

Once you come to terms with you or a loved ones D.I.D you can start to heal by recognizing triggers, and the signs of going into an alter so you can heal. Plus, once your alters recognize that you can take care of yourself, they will only be called upon when it is the best situation. It is possible to live a productive and happy life with D.I.D once you are able to make sense and meaning of what you have experienced and where you are going.

Do you or anyone you know suffer from diagnosed or potentially undiagnosed D.I.D? Share with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Learning how to operate in the social engagement system versus the reptilian system
What it is like to be in contact with your non-verbal triggers and personalities
Signs that your trauma began at an early age, was consistent or is lingering subconsciously
Looking at yourself as a survivor without dissociating and creating a new personality
How to move through the anger of a betrayal leading to D.I.D and find forgiveness for yourself

Quotes

“When I met my first personality, that's exactly what I felt. Because in that sensation you have no control, someone is taking over your body, you don’t get a say and they are totally doing whatever they want to do and you're just watching.” (12:15)

“I always had to feel like I was in balance, and I didn't know how to explain to anybody else, I never heard anybody else do this thing. But now that I know I am D.I.D, that is basically what I was doing, keeping my alters happy.” (22:07)

“You realize all of this was for survival, you were the ultimate survival. Anything that you needed to do, any one of your alters were created to survive.” (26:19)

“Now knowing that I am D.I.D its like I know that all of us have to get together as a group, all of us have to work through the betrayal, and now that we can do it as a system we are all doing it at the same time instead of having to do one at a time.” (32:46)

Links

17 Things You Always Wanted to Know About D.I.D Free eBook

10 Most Frequently Asked Questions about PTSD Free eBook

Getting To Know Us Blog

Follow JD Covert on Facebook

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/53

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Dr. Dolores Fazzino has over 40 years of experience in the health care industry and has seen first hand through her position as assistant surgeon how illness and disease can often be linked to a patient's unresolved emotional issues. Today Dr. Fazzino is here to open your eyes to the connection between a lack of self-care, deficiency of mind-body-spirit alignment, how they can manifest into disease and injury, and how you can stop this from happening to you.

A specialist in energy medicine, psychic surgery and the negative impacts of suppressing emotions, Dr. Fazzino is passionate about helping people escape trapped emotions and break lineage patterns to stop being afraid of negative reactions. By focusing on what you want out of life, being in tune with your bodies innate stillness and using breathing and feeling to put yourself first, you can get back to a place of high-frequency love.

Pockets of unexpressed energy can take up space in your energy field until there is nowhere else to go, and eventually move into the physical body through the lymphatic and endocrine system. Dr. Fazzino is providing tips on how to let go of control of your emotions, make sense of your positive and negative connotations, and find out what is honest and true for you.

Are you ready to stop giving control to your emotions and take back your physical power? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

Looking at the mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of psychic surgery
Which particular emotions commonly manifest as physical illnesses
Why it is necessary to fully embrace your unpleasant or uncomfortable emotions
What to do if you can’t make sense out of your physical and mental situation
How to figure out what you want, listen to your inner voice, and let go of negative feelings

Quotes

“I knew that I was supposed to help people realize that there are other ways to heal than just the traditional.” (7:33)

“Whatever you focus your attention on, like betrayal and you have been betrayed, guess what? You are going to attract more opportunities for that to happen.” (12:42)

“Sometimes you just want to distract yourself so that you don't feel the intensity of it, but know that this too will pass. You are not going to open Pandora's box and never get out of it.” (14:22)

“We’re in an amazing time right now, where healing could happen instantaneously. We are also at a time right now where healing the lineages in our ancestral timelines can be healed at the same time as well. So it is a very very powerful time so that the energy doesn't continue to progress into the future.” (21:21)

“It's about reconnecting with your inner essence because when you are able to do that, that is where you are going to get your information and your insight.” (27:09)

Links

Free Grounding Meditation

Recovering Healthcare Website

5 Pillars of Extreme Self-Care Retreat

Spiritual Wellness for Life Website

Spiritual Wellness for Life by Dr. Dolores Fazzino

Follow 28 Days to Transformation on Facebook

Follow Dr. Dolores Fazzino on Twitter | LinkedIn | Facebook

Contact Dr. Dolores Fazzino at info@recoveringhealthcare.com

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/52

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

Spiritual Wellness for Life: Inspiring Life Stories of Forgiveness, Transformation, and Healing

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After multiple betrayals from husbands, siblings, and friends, Eva Love chose the path of compassion over hate to conquer her feelings of abandonment. Since then, she has had profound spiritual experiences in which she has realized and acknowledged her wounds.

Eva’s journey has been all about making peace with yourself and finding forgiveness. She is dedicated to helping her clients completely surrender to their own bodies needs, some which you may not even know are going on. By letting go of the toxic nature of holding onto pain and committing to being faithful to yourself and true to your values, you too can begin the healing journey.

Allowing yourself to examine your wounds is the only way to begin to acknowledge your feelings, release them, and begin to create something better. Eva believes that no matter what has happened in the past, anything can be healed.

Have you made peace with yourself and others? Are you actively practicing forgiveness? Share your thoughts in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Making peace with yourself and finding forgiveness
How betrayal can act as a mirror into what needs to be healed inside
Practicing forgiveness to be able to forgive more
Understanding your internal belief system to create good habits
Speaking your truth and ceasing to allow falsities to fester

Quotes

“When I said okay how do I heal this, what I heard was you have to look at yourself. So the question that I heard was, had I ever been unfaithful to myself?” (2:22)

“The thing with forgiveness is that it's a choice. It’s not some feeling that comes over you at the whim of your muse, it is a decision that you make to forgive, to let go, to love yourself.” (4:44)

“Again I went through the process of forgiving myself and letting go of the hurt, and it was a deep wound. It took a long time for me to let go of that, but I did, I was able to let go of it.” (12:59)

“I didn't get good at forgiving until forgiving. It takes practice to get good at forgiving.” (18:28)

“You're not going to get the answer from your head, you are going to get it from your inner voice. Because that inner voice is the truth and so what you have to do is learn how to be quiet, ask the question, and listen. And most people don't know how to listen.” (23:11)

Links

Eva's Free Gift

Eva Love Website

Contact Eva at eva@evalove.net

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/51

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Michelle Nagel is renowned as America’s #1 Resilience Expert and has a career spanning over 30 years helping people step out of their darkness and into the light. After a marital betrayal only a year and a half ago, Michelle has experienced the darkness of betrayal first hand and is more passionate than ever to help others find their happiness again.

Today we dive into everything from the physical manifestations of betrayal to building resilience and finding ways to be grateful and optimistic even in your darkest times. Michelle is sharing how HeartMath helped her on her healing journey, the importance of holding yourself responsible for how you respond to a betrayal situation, and ways to redesign your focus and intention to move forward and heal.

If you feel as though you wear a shield of protective armor that is hiding a fraud, it is time to take off your battle uniform and live a life full of authenticity and happiness. Michelle is sharing an important message of hope and healing for times when you may not be feeling your best, and advocates for forgiveness and empowering yourself in order to use your resourcefulness to get what you want out of life.

Are you ready to give yourself what you deserve and start on the path to healing? Share where you are on your journey in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

How to become a resilient person coming from a scenario of betrayal
Reliving the joy Michelle experienced when delivering her daughters baby
Ways HeartMath can help you breathe in gratitude and begin to feel again
Taking responsibility for the way you respond to your betrayer's actions
The importance of taking time to discover who you are and how to be happy with yourself

Quotes

“I didn't want to interact with my heart because my heart hurt. And yet I had to go through the emotions because really the only way out of the pain is to go through the pain.” (7:30)

“I can look at this horrific experience that I have had as an opportunity for me to grow and expand and have more compassion for people and learn to trust myself, my higher power, and the people that I know that I can trust.” (17:49)

“Everything that you need is already here on the planet somewhere, you just have to be able to shift your focus.” (21:21)

“The betrayal that they have experienced from whoever their significant other was doesn't define them, they are beautiful and precious just because of who they are.” (29:00)

Links

Free How Happy Are You Quiz

Suffering is Optional by Michelle Nagel

Light at the End of the Tunnel: Co-Authored Book

I Soul Shift Website

HeartMath Institute Website

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/50

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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We all know that past trauma can have lasting impacts, but what about your beliefs? Peggy Sealfon is a personal development coach, author, motivational speaker and expert on stress and anxiety. Peggy creates customized plans based off of both Eastern and Western traditions to help her clients find emotional wellbeing and live a balanced and productive life. Today Peggy shares with us how to let go of what you have believed in the past to be the best you possible.

Our past wounds can be stored both mentally and physically inside our bodies, and often these triggers can become a distressful self-fulfilling prophecy. Peggy is determined to change that by providing you with tools to address your patterns honestly, learn awareness and mindfulness, and start living in the present to stop focusing on your past hurt.

Peggy provides methods to increase your confidence, use your energy more productively, prioritize your tasks and avoid getting overwhelmed. At the end of the day, happiness is an inside job, and it is important for you to take responsibility of how you want your life to be, and take ownership of your ability to make choices to make yourself happy.

It doesn't matter what messages have been instilled in you, trauma ranging from childhood to recent events could be preventing you from living in the present. However, it is never too late to change a belief that isn't serving you for one that does, and start living the life of your dreams. Peggy is here to show you how to become aware of the beliefs that have been holding you back so you can exchange them for ones that move you forward.

Are you ready to start letting go of the beliefs that aren't serving you? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

How to introduce positive self-talk into your vocabulary and actually use it
The many ways feeding the ‘wolf of destruction’ shows up in your health and wellbeing
Reasons to get out of the victim mentality and change your patterns to love yourself
How to know if you are on the right path by measuring your physical reactions
Going deeper into yourself to find what you want in this world and how you want to show up

Quotes

“Betrayal can be so devastating, but it doesn't have to be long lasting, and it doesn't define who you are in this moment unless you allow it to.” (2:54)

“At the end of the day, we each have a choice on how we want our life to manifest and how we want to show up in it.” (6:34)

“We are so forced in our culture to just take a pill to treat the symptoms and it will go away and we will feel better. Well you feel better temporarily but it comes back again and again, and worse each time.” (13:44)

“You are perfect right now. Maybe there are things that you want to change, however at this moment you are still this divine perfect creature, and it is important for you to begin to own that.” (21:05)

“If you really want to create that confidence you have to cultivate it, and it takes some mindfulness and good choices in order to do that.” (27:19)

Links

3 Minutes to Destress Exercise

Integrated Life Plan Website

Escape from Anxiety by Peggy Sealfon

I Am Happy Now Ceramics

Talk About Healthy Living Website

Louise Hay Mirror Work

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/49

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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We have all been embarrassed or angry at one point or another and felt the physical sensation of our emotions rage through our bodies. But did you know that embracing these emotions for a mere 90 seconds could be the key to helping you make sense of your emotions to remove their power and start moving on? Dr. Joan Rosenberg is a cutting edge psychologist, TEDx speaker, member of the association of transformational leaders and much more, who has figured out the key to building confidence and emotional strength by embracing your unpleasant feelings.

Throughout her research, Dr. Rosenberg discovered the core eight unpleasant feelings and created her Rosenburg Reset in order to help you move through your unpleasant feelings and learn how to apply those emotions to solve common psychological challenges like anxiety and fear. On this episode, Dr. Rosenburg shares how to gain your internal trust back after a betrayal, ways to identify your vulnerability and embrace it, and the importance of understanding your bodily reactions to memories and emotions to better resolve your feelings.

While you may not be able to make sense of why a betrayal happened in your life, you can make sense of the impact and the meaning those events have had on you, and learn to move forward in a healthier and happier way. If you can experience and move through the eight unpleasant feelings, you can form a foundation of confidence and liberate your world to experience life with a greater sense of feeling alive.

Dr. Rosenberg is a recognized thought leader and personal development leader who shares her practical tips and insight on ways to live a confident, resilient and authentic life that you truly love.

Are you ready to ditch your attitude that may be holding you back and start living through healing? Share your story with us in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Why you should be changing the language you use around trust in your relationship
Using one choice, eight feelings and ninety seconds to move through unpleasant feelings
How to gain the trust and confidence in yourself to be open, vulnerable and emotional
Ways memory reactivates your biochemical sensations to make your feelings last longer
Tolerating physical feelings associated with emotions to let them pass and find healing

Quotes

“Confidence is the deep sense that you can handle the emotional outcome of whatever you face or whatever you pursue.” (4:32)

“Here is the key to vulnerability, if you know that you can experience and move through the other seven feelings that I named, then you can handle vulnerability.” (14:52)

“When we allow ourselves to lean into and choose vulnerability, not only do we get more connected to ourselves, not only do we feel more liberated, not only do we feel more emotionally strong, we establish deeper connections with others as well.” (16:46)

“It is an experience of aliveness to experience both pleasant and unpleasant feelings.” (20:15)

“What we eventually come down to is realizing that we cannot undo what was done, and we cannot do what was undone.” (25:07)

Links

90 Seconds to A Life You Love by Dr. Joan Rosenberg

Dr. Joan Rosenberg Website

Emotional Mastery Dr. Joan Rosenberg TEDx Talk

Grief: A Pathway to Forgiveness Dr. Joan Rosenberg TEDx Talk

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/48

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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Tim Tedder entered into an affair sixteen years into his marriage and was equally as surprised by his actions as those closest to him. Tim decided to take a good look in the mirror to understand exactly how he had gotten to that place internally, as well as within part of a team. What he found was a lack of vulnerability and honesty, which he has since harnessed into a counseling career to help others avoid the regret that he has experienced.

Get ready for a brand new perspective as we go inside the mind of a betrayer to gain an understanding of why someone betrays, what an affair looks like from a betrayers standpoint, and how to be honest with the mess that you have made to move on either as a couple or individually. Tim opens up about the shifting inner dialogue he had with himself that lead to his infidelity, signs that a betrayer is ready to change and heal versus one that has no intention to change, and how to gain peace of mind knowing that your partner's decisions weren't about you.

Even in the worst situations, Tim believes that healing can still be possible as long as both people are willing to put in the work. By working with a counselor such as Tim you can navigate the road bumps of living with someone day in and day out, and learn how to work through change instead of shutting down.

It is time to take responsibility for your actions and create a context where you can be truly open and vulnerable with your partner and with yourself. Tim is living proof that with enough awareness and an openness to healing, it is possible to learn from betrayal and move forward.

Let us know how infidelity has impacted your relationship with marriage in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Gain an understanding as to why someone betrays and the steps taken to get there
Being honest about how you need to change and grow as a person and a couple
Indicators that your partner is not willing to do the necessary work to heal with you
Forgiving yourself for the underserved blame you may receive from your partner
An exploration of insights and changes that may lead a betrayer towards healing

Quotes

“Friends and people around me said, ‘hey maybe that's what you should do, you should be a counselor to help people get through things in a different way than you did’. So low and behold here I am.” (5:19)

“In my mind, I was creating this space for the possibility [to cheat] instead of stepping into my marriage in an honest and vulnerable way.” (8:19)

“Putting the blame on her was undeserved. And I wish more wives could hear that with greater clarity sooner.” (11:38)

“Although we would never want someone to experience an affair, we are very thankful for what it caused in our life because of the choices we made afterward.” (20:57)

“I want to be that person that can step into another person's life and help them make sense of things before they experience the regret that I did.” (30:43)

Links

Visit the Special Affair Healing Breakthrough Page Here

Affair Healing Website

Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me) by Carol Tavris

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/47

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

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Do you sometimes feel like you are too emotional, too stressed or overly sensitive? You are not alone. In fact, fifteen to twenty percent of the population feel this same way too, and it is not because you are crazy. Dr. Heidi Hanna has devoted her career to finding out exactly why some of us feel this way and is here to today to provide tools to help you manage your stress and live life as a happier highly sensitive person.

The chief energy officer of Synergy, a company specializing in brain-based health solutions, as well as the executive director for the American Institute of Stress, founding partner of the Academy for Brain Health and Performance and a NYT bestselling author, Dr. Heidi has cemented her place as a top advisor on the power of using movement, meditation, and mirth to manage your stress over time. Dr. Heidi believes that by defining stress as the gap between your capacity and demand, you can learn how to take your stress and manage it to become a tool of productivity.

Dr. Heidi advocates for a curious mindset when it comes to dealing with your stress and finding ways to make your stress work for you. Learn how to achieve stress mastery by viewing stress through your stress load, stress lens and stress signature, three primary questions to ask yourself to determine if you are a highly sensitive person, and how to train your negative bias to be more positive. Plus, explore the role humor can play in managing your stress, and how to prepare and protect your energy during stressful situations.

While it may be impossible to eliminate all the stress from your life, it is possible to train your brain to handle stressful situations with more grace and ease. By employing tools such as preparing your mind before a stressful event and replenishing yourself afterward, you can build up your capacity to better cope with the challenges of life.

Which of Dr. Heidi’s suggestions is first on your list to try to better manage your emotions as a highly sensitive person? Let us know in the comments section on the episode page.

In This Episode

The difference between helpful short term stress and harmful long term stress
Acknowledging the genetic differences that cause someone to be highly sensitive
Differences and similarities between being highly sensitive and an empath
What you need to do to protect and invest your own energy as a highly sensitive person
How to build up your capacity to cope with the daily challenges of life

Quotes

“So many of us come to this type of journey trying to figure our own stuff out, and then we quickly realize that so many other people are struggling with similar things.” (2:19)

“The stress experience, what is happening in your brain and body, is trying to help you, and the more you can understand the why behind that and then make the small adjustments, you can start to take control.” (7:06)

“It's not just this theoretical ‘you’re just sensitive’, it's that your brain and your body and your nervous system are wired in a way that is different.” (14:16)

“People tend to think taking care of yourself is selfish, and I personally think that taking care of your energy is the greatest thing you can do for the people around you because it is so contagious.” (24:59)

Links

Recharge Mini Assesment

Free 360 Stress Survey

Dr. Heidi Hanna Website

The Beyond Funny Project Website

The American Institute of Stress Website

The Academy for Brain Health and Performance Website

The Highly Sensitive Person Website

Follow Dr. Heidi on Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | YouTube

Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/46

Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/

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When faced with a challenge, you can always find a way for it to lead to an amazing transformation, it is just about the direction you want to transform into. Today’s guest, Gurutej Khalsa, knows exactly that and is here to help us unwind the many layers of betrayal.

Not only is Gurutej sharing some great tools on how to deal with betrayal, but she is also here to help you forgive yourself and start listening to what your heart is saying. Covering topics ranging from death and rebirth, magnetic fields and breathing techniques, we are providing you with a range of tools to help yourself move forward. With simple techniques on how to cleanse toxic people from your life and get over your betrayal, it is time to start trusting your intuition again and showing up for yourself.

Gurutej believes it is important to understand that life moves in cycles. When you are in the depths of the betrayal you feel like you are in a hole that you will never get out of. Nowadays you have the capacity to find the support and tools to realize you are not going to be in this place forever.

What tools have you used to help you move forward? Let us know in the comments section on the episode page!

In This Episode

How to learn to hear and trust your inner voice
Taking your busy mind and quieting it
The importance of being able to stay quiet
‘Energy stealers’ and how to avoid them
Building a habit of reclaiming your power

Quotes

“What I define betrayal as is something we think should have, could have, you know would have happened, and it didn't happen that way. Or something that was and all of a sudden it wasn't anymore. And we feel like someone else did it to us on purpose.” (1:14)

“One of the hardest mantras I think anybody ever learns is its two things. One, don’t take it personally. And it's not about you.” (3:39)

“We are so busy being busy that we lose the capacity to hear our subtle parts of our being.” (8:34)

“Betrayal usually feels like a death sentence of some kind. Something died, right? A trust died, a belief, whatever it was. So, it's like how do you transform that death into something that is much more vibrant and alive and helpful” (16:10)

“If we just tell you something and you get inspired, in a couple of days the inspiration has worn off, maybe a week. But if you have tools and you use them then that's the best, you get your own experience.” (23:25)

Links

Free Empowerment Guide

Gurutej’s website

Follow Gurutej on Facebook | Youtube | Twitter | Pinterest | LinkedIn

Check out the full show notes for this episode

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

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After working as an ER doctor specializing in surgery for over 10 years while attending acupuncture school, Dr. Shiroko Sokitch found that her calling was leading her into the spiritual and emotional healing of Chinese medicine. She opened Heart to Heart Medical Center as a way to bring the many modalities of Chinese and Western medical practices together to bring her clients back to balance and wholeness. Dr. Shiroko Sokitch is truly the doctor who cares about you and is here today to share her wisdom on whole body connectedness and how to bring hope and healing to difficult health conditions.

If you have ever been curious about how Chinese medicine works to connect your physical and emotional symptoms to find whole body healing or enjoy hearing about the transformative power of love, Dr. Shiroko is the woman for you. Find out how betrayal can impact your gut and create lasting health issues, why you need to be taking care of your triangle of wellness, and the truths behind Dr. Shiroko’s 7 Keys to Defying the Odds.

By viewing your body as an interconnected roadmap, and targeting the root cause of your physical health issues, you can unlock the deep emotional scars that may be playing a role in your symptoms. If you can accept our innate human need to love and learn to give love in return you can begin to receive the healing benefits and balance the rest of your life accordingly. Dr. Shiroko is here to help you realize the connection between the mind and body, and your ability for greater healing.

Have you experienced physical ailments as a result of a betrayal? Share your story in the comments section on the episode page!

In This Episode

How and why our bodies can often mask anger as fatigue
What Chinese medicine can do to help us when you have been betrayed
Breaking down the process of moving past betrayal through physical treatment
Exploring the foundational role your hormones, immune, and nervous system play
How to search the internet to find answers for healing and hope

Quotes

“Betrayal is a big deal. And there are many levels of betrayal. And on some level, when you have certain betrayals, you feel completely betrayed by life.” (7:50)

“Chinese medicine involves your emotion and your spirit and your physical body. And so that is all incorporated into an acupuncture treatment, it helps shift the energy.” (14:23)

“For me, it’s about love, like the number one thing is love. And what saved me when I was in that darkest moment was the love of the people in my life.” (18:07)

“The Chinese medicine idea of Chi, I call it love. The energy that holds our cells together, the energy that runs our lives, its love.” (20:21)

“Everything happens for a reason, and when something horrible happens it is really hard to believe that there is a reason. And sometimes you can't see it until the end until you have gotten all the way through it.” (27:02)

Links

Healing When It Seems Impossible by Dr. Shiroko Sokitch with FREE bonuses

Heart to Heart Medical Center Website

Follow Dr. Sokitch on Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn

Check out the full show notes for this episode

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

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After a childhood filled with family members struggling with addiction, Greg Johnson overcame these betrayals and has since dedicated his life to helping others learn how to forgive. A sober specialist in Los Angeles, Greg helps his clients rehab their hearts to find the power to stay sober.

Today we are undressing all the ways in which betrayal can be related to addiction, how Greg’s own first-hand experiences with substances helped him to forgive those who wronged him, and why you should embrace your emotions instead of run from them. Learn about why you should consider prayer and meditation to assist your healing, how to shift your perspective to open your heart, and why you need to feel it to heal it.

No matter what, healing is possible. The journey to forgiveness and acceptance can be a struggle, but you do not have to go through it alone. When you open yourself up to help, you can begin to breakdown the barriers built up by betrayal and/or addiction, and start the path to true happiness.

What part of Greg’s story most inspired you? Let us know your thoughts on this episode in the comments section on the episode page.

In This Episode

Getting over the trauma and betrayal of having an addict in your intimate circle
Aspects of addiction that can lead to betrayal
How to recognize when you are healed and the work is done
Reconnecting and listening to your heart
Having trust in the healing process and believing in your self worth

Quotes

“The persons that are supposed to love one the most, they are the very person that is hurting the person the most. And that betrayal is just so deep, and it took a long time to process through that betrayal and the trauma of it” (2:39)

“Going through my own experimentation first hand, it allowed me to not just have compassion, but to truly have empathy and to understand the power of addiction.” (4:48)

“I couldn't heal my own behaviors if I did not forgive and do that deep healing and forgiving work with my father. And that was the very thing that set me free.” (9:56)

“If we can just sit and be still and allow those feelings to move through us, the greatest gift is awaiting us on the other side.” (13:15)

“I said yes, I need help. And the flood gates opened up and that's when my life transformed and I was able to heal, forgive, and move to a place of absolute peace joy and love with this horrific life experience.” (16:11)

Links

FREE "Strengthen Your Heart To Strengthen Your Breakthrough From Addiction" Meditation - Fill Out Form & Receive Gift By Email

Al-Anon

Love Soulutions Website

Champion Heart Website

Check out the full show notes for this episode

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Break

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After finding herself in an abusive relationship that she wasn’t quite sure how she got into, Brittany Blomsterberg realized she had to fully accept and love every part of herself in order to gain the strength to put herself first and get out. Today’s episode is about loving all the parts of yourself, the good the bad and the ugly, because all of those emotions are part of what makes you, you.

When you start to lose yourself you may begin to feel trapped. While your intuition is trying to get your attention, it can be hard to listen for if you don’t know the right signals. Brittany is sharing all the ways you can begin to ask yourself questions that will guide you in the direction you want to go.

Once you are able to look at your relationships and start making sense and meaning out of your situation, you can then begin to lead yourself to forgiveness. By embracing every component of yourself, including the darkness, you can be a more integrated and accepting person.

What did it take for you to fully accept and love yourself? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

Recognizing an abusive relationship and getting out of it
How to begin to rebuild trust with your betrayer
Being able to better support others through religion and spirituality
Why you can't rush forgiveness or healing
Paying attention to your emotions and intuition so that you can stay in check with your body

Quotes

“During the situation, I knew something was off like energetically I could feel it. But I didn't have the language and I didn't understand exactly what that was.” (1:53)

“There is an enmeshment there, and it's an identity. You know, losing your identity and if you start to become one with this other person who doesn't have your best interest, you know you can get very easily lost.” (5:15)

“It took me feeling empathetic for myself first. I started being gentle with me, and I started to acknowledge that there was nothing wrong with me.” (10:43)

“I do believe that this particular situation helped me so much in being able to support others in the abuse cycle. Especially women who feel like they're extremely strong and intellectual, and ‘how could I get here how could this happen?’” (16:10)

“Its a check engine light. It's telling you something that you need to pay attention to support your entire system. So listen to it, check in with it, be curious about it. Don’t avoid it, don’t be mad at it, don't disregard it. That is your own intuitive way of being able to protect yourself, support yourself, and making sure you are guided to what is most loving for you.” (19:33)

Links

Brittany’s Website

Contact Brittany at brittany@bethebeacon.org

Check out the full show notes for this episode

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

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Today I want to talk about trust because trust is one of the biggest areas affected when it comes to betrayal. I look at trust as a brick wall. This brick wall can take 10, 20, 30, 40 years to be built and to be constructed, and it can be taken down in a matter of moments. How does trust get to be rebuilt again? Brick by brick by brick, slowly, consistently and just over time, it cannot be rushed. When people say, "Trust is sacred, don't mess with trust," it's because it is so hard to rebuild, especially with that same person after you've been betrayed.

We look at it and say, "Okay, well," after a betrayal experience, "I don't trust my betrayer. I don't even trust myself, because how did I not see this, know this, feel this?" It leaves us with this sense of insecurity. We don't feel safe because first of all when it comes to the other people if the people we trusted the most prove untrustworthy, who do we trust? When the ones we'd run to when other people are causing harm are in fact the ones causing the harm, where do we go? The combination of not being able to trust or not feeling safe enough to trust the person who hurt us and not even feeling safe and comfortable with our own judgment puts us in a really weird place.

I get this question all the time, "Can I ever trust again," and, "How can I ever trust again?" The answer is, you can. It takes work, it takes time, but you can. I have this really simple-- Now when I mean simple it doesn't mean easy, it just means simple, recipe of how to rebuild trust, and it's a few steps. The way that I've seen it work well is in this order and in this process. The first stage is learning to trust in the simplest things. The simplest things, like the sun will rise every day, the sun will set every day. What you do is you choose something that you just know for sure will happen, and in knowing that that will happen and then it does, you can learn to trust that.

Links:

Check out the full show notes for this episode

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

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At 18 years old Moira Hutchison was recruited by a group of so-called spiritual healers to help her harness healing intuition, escape feelings of depression, and receive business training. What sounded like a great opportunity at first turned into the realization that she had been taken under the wing of a cult. After escaping from an extremely confusing place both mentally and emotionally, she has turned her experience into a mindfulness-based life coaching business to help people who are feeling stuck to be motived to change their lives.

Moira shares her incredible journey from the beginning to the end of her two years with the cult, how it taught her to tap into her inner wisdom and trust herself, and why gossip was one of the instigating signs of evil. An advocate for reaching out to those you care about, being willing to forgive and seeing beyond the surface problems in life, Moira’s story is one of intrigue and inspiration.

A story that moves from Edinburgh to London and Los Angeles, Moira’s tale is unlike anything you have ever heard before and will motivate you to take control of your actions. A real-life example of following your gut, and one person's ability to make a choice to do something different, this episode is filled with awareness, openness, and trust.

What surprised you most about the lessons Moira took away from her past experiences? Let us know in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Reasons that lead to Moira joining a cult in the beginning
When Moira realized the actions around her were manipulative
What to be cautious of when joining a new group or community
The importance of trusting your inner guidance and wisdom
Tips you can implement today to learn how to receive your own inner voice

Quotes

“I didn't actually have anybody to talk this through with, so it leads to a lot of depression” (4:54)

“I kind of felt like there had to be more, there needed to be more for me to kind of regroup and come back to that sense of using my skill set” (5:32)

“I was thinking, ‘what happens if that ever happened to me?’, And that is where it really started to unravel in my mind.” (18:05)

“Each one of us knows the absolute truth. But sometimes it gets so screwed up, especially when we are talking about betrayal.” (22:15)

“It really leads to me developing my own intuitive skill, and to this day I rely on it completely” (25:05)

Links

Moira's FREE Inner Peace Kit

Moira's Website

Wellness With Moira Website

Contact Moira Here

Follow Debi on Twitter

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Toxins are everywhere and wreak havoc on us physically, mentally and emotionally. Here are 7 ways to detox from the areas where toxins are likely to be impacting you the most.

1 - Foods: Nutrient void, chemical laden, processed “sub food” have little nutrient value and are keeping us overweight, addicted, inflamed and frustrated with the way we look and feel. Imagine how you’d feel if you detoxed from “Frankenfoods” that were loaded in chemicals and stripped of their vital nutrients? Imagine how you’d feel if you detoxed from products high in sugar, the unhealthy fat found in trans fats, vegetable oils and hydrogenated oils? How would you feel if you detoxed from an addiction to soda, candy or caffeine? Consider how much better your body would perform without the steroids and antibiotics found in most dairy or if you eliminated GMO’s (genetically modified organisms) from your eating plan? What we eat is at the root of what’s creating health and wellness or illness and disease. If your diet is filled with unhealthy chemicals, preservatives, sugar and more, it’s impossible to look, feel and perform at your best. So what do you include?

Include: Whole, real, nutrient-dense foods. Choose to not eat anything from a package or box. If it has a label, check to see if there are ingredients that sound like a lab experiment and consider what these ingredients are doing once they’re inside of you! Become a savvy label reader or better yet, stick to things your grandmother would have cooked with or would have recognized as food. Do you think she would have added Butylated Hydroxyanisole (BHA-added to prevent spoilage) to her apple pie or would she just have encouraged you to have a slice when it was fresh out of the oven?

2 - Products: Cleaning products and beauty products can be loaded with harsh chemicals and detergents. They can contribute to long-term health effects, such as cancer, asthma, reproductive disorders, hormone disruption, and neurotoxicity. The sudsing agents found in chemicals like diethanolamine (DEA) and triethanolamine (TEA) can form nitrosamines, which act as carcinogens that penetrate the skin. So what can we do?

Include: Greener options and products that are chemical free. Think about it: If it says “danger”, “poison” or “hazardous to humans and domestic animals” on the label isn't that a sign we shouldn’t be using it?

3 - People: If you surround yourself with people who are negative, critical, judgmental and pessimistic, can you really be surprised if you feel deflated, depleted and uninspired? If your group is gossiping about the latest breakup, spending their time complaining about their lives (while doing nothing to improve it) or criticizing others for what they have (while they may secretly want those same things) is it any wonder why you may feel stagnant, unmotivated and not feel very good about yourself? So what do you do?

Include: Surround yourself with people who are supportive, inspiring, loving and kind. Join groups with like-minded positive people, network to expand your circle and steer clear of the naysayers and energy vampires. Can’t find these positive, like-minded people? Start reading and learning about inspiring people, then find out where others who read these same books and learn from these same people hang out. Maybe there’s a conference, class or online forum? It’s been said that we’re the 5 people we spend the most time with. Find those that uplift you, support you and encourage you to be the best and highest version or yourself and watch your best self emerge.

4 - Media (TV, print): Any media that has you feeling tense, anxious, fearful and afraid is keeping your stress response turned on and will create physical, mental and emotional wear and tear. Is it really necessary to know about the celebrity club fight, plastic surgery or cheating partner? These images do nothing to boost our confidence, self-esteem or personal development while having us feel “less than”, not as beautiful, not as wealthy or not good enough in some way.

Include: Commit to watching or reading any media that promotes a healthier, happier you. There are plenty of channels where you can learn how to cook, decorate, learn about a different culture, striving entrepreneur or heroic story. What we feed our minds, we become so be careful about what you’re allowing into your awareness, into your subconscious…and into your life.

5 - Thoughts: Negative thoughts like I’m so fat, dumb, lazy or unlovable keep us safe, stuck and small. Is it any wonder why we’re not going for that new opportunity, why we’re not speaking to that potential partner or why we’re accepting less than we deserve because of the negative self-talk we play in a continuous tape-loop in our head? So what can you do?

Include: Commit to including more empowering thoughts like: “I’m working towards a healthier body each day”, “I’m smarter than I give myself credit for” or “I’m not lazy, I just don’t like doing that task!” Think better and bolder thoughts and you’ll become better and bolder.

6 - Water: So many chemicals can be found in our water and if that’s not bad enough, think about this: medications, toxic cleaning products, waste and other things we shouldn’t be having are polluting our water too. What can we do to detox from this dangerous waste?

Include: Use a water filter-whether it’s a filtered water bottle, filtered water pitcher or an entire home filtration system, the more clear, clean, filtered water you use, the better.

7 - Sleep: Loud or stimulating TV, chaotic or cluttered surroundings as well as light coming from your alarm clock, computer and phone can all disrupt deep, restorative and rejuvenating sleep. How can you detox from a toxic bedroom?

Include: Make your bedroom calm, serene, cool, dark and comfortable. A hot bath, warm cup of chamomile tea, scents like lavender on your pillow can help too. Create a sleep ritual and commit to getting the sleep you need to feel energized, focused and refreshed.

Detoxing from the toxins in your life will encourage some allergies to clear up, better sleep, weight loss (toxins are stored in fat cells), better overall health, greater energy, improved immune function, glowing skin, a healthier digestive system and so much more.

Happy detoxing!

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Renee Richetto-Grul was betrayed by her entire community because they didn’t believe what she knew to be true. After years of sickness, recreating her life and discovering medical cannabis, Renee is finally understanding her body and creating the life she deserves. Now a holistic cannabis practitioner and functional medicine health coach, Renee is sharing her story about how alternative treatments lead to betrayal, and also saved her life.

If you have ever been curious about how medical cannabis works or are ready for an inspiring story about turning your life around when everyone has betrayed you, this episode is for you. Renee is getting real about what it is like to be left totally alone, being truly ready to forgive, and changing your life for the better.

Has medical cannabis played a role in your healing journey after betrayal? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

How baking soda and apple cider vinegar helped Renee understand cancer
Becoming ready to forgive by setting boundaries
Why energy drinks may be slowly killing your adrenals
The benefits of medical cannabis and their ability to help heal
Understanding and being open to alternative methods of healing

Quotes

“I was elated to have to potentially have an answer as to why I was so sick. And I contacted my family and I was told, ‘Renne that's not what's wrong with you’” (13:02)

“One of the most difficult things for me is if somebody doesn't believe me. I almost take extra efforts to ensure a person and I are on the same page” (18:51)

“People when they say ‘you are here for a reason, you are here for a reason’ and that's very true. My faith really got me through this” (20:17)

“Without a doubt, our bodies were created by our heavenly father for the use of medical cannabis” (26:24)

Links

PhKillsCancer.com

Simply Orchestrated LLC Website

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Hi, everybody. Today, I want to talk about a concept called wabi-sabi. I'm going to read the definition, and then I'm going to show you how this relates to betrayal. Ready? In traditional Japanese aesthetics, wabi-sabi is a worldview centered on the acceptance of transients, and imperfection. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is imperfect, impermanent and incomplete.

It is the concept derived from the Buddhist teaching of the three marks of existence, specifically impermanence, suffering, and emptiness or absence of self-nurture. Characteristics of the wabi-sabi aesthetic include asymmetry, roughness, simplicity, economy, austerity, modesty, intimacy, and appreciation of the ingenuous integrity of natural objects and processes.

What I love so much about this concept is it's a celebration of the imperfect.

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When experiencing a time of trauma or stress, it can have a large impact on our body, especially your thyroid function, adrenal health, and metabolism. This response goes back to our early ancestors and the need for stress responses that change the way we metabolize food. Factors such as insulin, cortisol, and inflammation can all play a role in how your body is functioning. Dr. Alan Christianson understands this process and helps his patients get out of the yoyo diet cycle.

If you are struggling with your weight, are a constant dieter with no results or have recently gained some pounds after trauma, Dr. Christianson is here to explain how the diet industry betrays us and what you can do to reset your metabolism and get your body back to functioning correctly. Dr. Christianson is here to help us understand what adrenal fatigue really is, what you should be asking your doctor to test for in your thyroid and liver, and how to get out of your ‘wired and tired’ pattern.

By keeping your microbiome stable you can withstand stress better and be more resilient. Dr. Christianson is here to provide steps on how to reset your metabolism and get your health back together with your liver and cortisol.

Are you ready to take steps towards deep healing your internal functioning after a betrayal? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

Why your stress response is often focused in your gut and belly
What you should be eating to support your liver functioning
Signs that let you know you are on the right path with your internal health
How betrayal and trauma can increase your body's stressor signals
Habits you can implement on a day to day basis for your health

Quotes

“I don’t know if this has been a deliberate act in any part of the [diet] industry, but overall, the industry does just set people up to fail” (6:41)

“In general a good way to gauge if weight loss is working is to know how much of it is really waist lost” (10:43)

“You want to dedicate some time towards the project of really changing how your system works” (21:49)

“It’s never welcome and no one ever wants to build character through trauma and through stress and betrayal. But at the end of the day when we do come back, we are stronger” (24:53)

Links

The Metabolism Reset Diet by Dr. Alan Christianson

Dr. Christianson Website

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My research involved those struggling to heal from the trauma of betrayal. At the beginning of my participants’ healing journey, their perception of success may have involved simply getting out of bed and facing their day. Yet, as they healed, their perception of success shifted to feeling safe, secure, regaining their health, finding the gift left in the wake of their trauma, and rebuilding their life.

As the perceptions of my study participants changed as they moved through their experience, my perception of success has changed as well. This experience has led to an entirely different perception of success and one that I believe is needed so desperately today.

What is success? The newest car, the biggest house, the prettiest face or the most perfectly behaved children as determined by societal standards? If so, who are we when those external measures fade over time?

If your measure of success is achieved through the accolades others bestow upon you-who are you when you no longer receive those accolades?

If your measure of success is judged by what you collect, what happens when you stop collecting?

If success is achieved at the expense of family, integrity, connection, meaning or contribution, can it really be considered a success?

Who are you if you come in last place if you don’t raise your hand if you take a longer route or travel a different path?

What became so apparent during this journey was how fleeting and empty external measures of success can be, especially when we understand that we’re feeding the unrelenting needs of the ego versus nourishing ourselves fully with our soul’s calling for deep, rich and meaningful experiences. How has this created a new definition of success?

Here’s what I now see so clearly.

When you can enjoy the quiet of your own company, that’s success

When you can easily open your heart for someone in need, that’s success

When you can think about those you love as a smile curls your lips and a warmth envelops your heart, that’s success

When you can surrender and grow comfortable with the discomfort of the unknown, that’s success.

When you think of giving up, giving in and going back to what was old and familiar…then refuse and remain on your journey forward, that’s success.

Success is facing your fears, slaying your dragons, healing your wounds and loving yourself.

Success is thanking your ego for trying to protect you as you choose to trust the voice of your highest self instead.

Success is knowing that even if you have nothing, you have everything you need to create a life that’s rich, fulfilling and beautiful.

Success is the outpouring of love from within, regardless of what external signs of validation you receive.

Success is using your biggest obstacles as the catalysts to reveal your greatest gifts.

Success is knowing that you are worthy, deserving and lovable…simply because you exist.

Hellen Keller said:
“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

Here's my wish for you:
May you use your skills and insights to drive humanity forward

May your new insights light a path to the trail you’re now ready to blaze

May you reflect with pride on how far you’ve come, then lovingly allow for your next and most exciting chapter to unfold.

May you serve as a role model and mentor, enthusiastically yet humbly sharing your light so that others are inspired to do the same

You got this.

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Are you sick of living with symptoms like depression, fatigue, hormone imbalance, weight gain, and chronic pain, but don’t know how to fix the root cause? Like so many other women, Dr. Anna Cabeca was experiencing this and realized her ability to reset her own hormones and improve her mind and body, and has been passionate about sharing this knowledge with women ever since.

When going through a betrayal, our entire bodies are impacted. While you may be living a happy life on the outside, hormones such as cortisol and progesterone are playing a large role in how your body is reacting to your stored trauma and memories. It is only by understanding the role our hormones play in our physical and mental health and finding a balance both internally and externally that your body can once again be at peace.

Dr. Anna is here to give some insight into the hormonal chaos a betrayal can cause, how you should be working to nourish your body to improve mental clarity, and finding natural ways to decrease cortisol and increase oxytocin. If you are looking for a sense of peace, wanting to connect with those around you, or hoping to create disciplines and practices that support you, Dr. Anna is here to help guide you.

What is the first step you are taking towards making a change? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

Understanding the internal connection between physiology and behavior
Discover healthy seeking behaviors to increase your oxytocin naturally
How to prioritize and find joy in connection with others again
The three animals in the Andean philosophy associated with life's journey
Why changing what time you eat dinner could improve your sleep and energy

Quotes

“For too many of us and for too long, that hormone tends to run amuck and destroy many of our hormonal relationships” (1:44)

“How we deal with this transition time, the mental framework we put around it, that helps [your bodies physiology]” (6:25)

“It gives us information about how our emotions are affecting our physiology, how our nourishment could be affecting our physiology, and you know sometimes we think we are doing everything right but we aren't seeing an improvement, and little itsy bitsy steps make it” (20:50)

“When we are going through a stressful state it is imperative that we really support our bodies natural hormone production in these ways” (21:51)

“No matter what you have been through or what you are feeling right now, never give up hope” (25:26)

Links

Breeze Through Menopause Masterclass

The Hormone Fix by Dr. Anna Cabeca

Dr. Anna’s Website

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If you’ve seen the movie “Groundhog Day” Bill Murray relives the same day over and over again. At first, he’s baffled, then angry and eventually he starts having a little fun with it as he realizes he can use the day to create whatever type of experience he wants and if it doesn’t turn out well, no big deal, he can try again tomorrow.

So many of us walk around with “Groundhog Day of the Mind”. With this firmly in place, we have the same thoughts which lead to the same emotions, the same behaviors which create the same responses…day after day. What I find so interesting about this is that we struggle to understand why things aren’t changing, why we’re still stuck with the same habits that are leading us to frustration, illness, and unhappiness.

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Did you know that your sense of smell is 100 times more powerful than any other sense, or that your sense of smell is also connected to your sense of survival? All of this can impact how we are triggered by emotional trauma linked to betrayal and can be harnessed to become a wonderful healing tool. Dr. Mariza Snyder is a functional practitioner, author, and hormone expert who is passionate about essential oils and their power to heal and is here to share her wealth of knowledge with us today.

Essential oils are a simple and doable strategy to include in your daily routine when you are overwhelmed, exhausted, or unsure. Today Dr. Mariza is sharing her favorite essential oils for conquering stress, anxiety, anger, forgiveness, and more. She is also explaining how best to use them for emotional healing, how to ensure you are living your life by your own design versus proving people wrong and why you should be clearing a space for emotional wellbeing.

Dr. Mariza is shedding light on the science behind how essential oils affect the neurotransmitters in the brain and how they can provide you with the ability to select the mood you desire. If you have ever been curious about essential oils and don't know where to start, or are looking for something easy that you can implement today to start making a positive impact in your life, Dr. Mariza is the answer you have been looking for.

Have you experimented with the wonderful world of essential oils? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

The important role forgiveness plays in the healing transformation
Listening to your inner voice instead of living to prove a point
Why positive and negative emotional memories can be triggered by smell
Top essential oil blends and scents to help with emotions of betrayal
How to let go of betrayal and accept forgiveness with the help of essential oils

Quotes

“It was through a lot of healing and just a lot of self-reflection on what it meant to make me happy, that really steered me in this direction” (3:28)

“The big secret to radical self-healing is self-awareness, recognizing what's happening” (7:37)

“I felt like I was in my true purpose and true calling for the first time in my life like I finally heard what I was really meant to do in this world” (14:44)

“Everyone needs a little extra courage, a little liquid courage, a little essential oil courage” (28:08)

“[Essential Oils] really kind of dispel some of those feelings that we women tend to hold onto, that don't allow us to step into our power” (31:44)

Links

Purchase The Essential Oil Hormone Solution Here

Essentially You Podcast

Dr. Mariza’s Website

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Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

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January 1st brings with it more than just a date change. Very often as we ring in the New Year, we ring in a desire for newness- a hope to start fresh, to reach goals where we might have fallen short, to right wrongs, and to give ourselves another shot at achieving what we envision for our lives.

Our goals are often pretty noble:

Physically- Most people want to be a healthier and stronger version of themselves. Gym and weight loss memberships soar. Workout areas are packed with hopeful, eager participants who have no doubt that they’ll achieve their goal in the next couple of months, whether realistic or not.
Mentally- We are prepared. It’s okay that last year didn’t turn out as planned. We have a fresh new slate upon which to write a whole new script. Our goals are fueled with the belief that anything is possible, and we have a whole brand-new year to achieve what we were not able to in the past.
Emotionally- New beginnings bring us hope. There’s some inherent excitement at being able to start over. We purchase new calendars, new appointment books, and new journals. This, this is the year we are going to get grounded, centered and secure. Our new selves will allow us to enjoy relationships at a deeper, more authentic, and fulfilling level. Dating sites enjoy an increased flurry of activity as our new-found optimism fuels an expectation and anticipation that the partner who has eluded us in the past will be found.
Spiritually- Time for meditation, yoga, and connecting with Spirit has made it onto our calendars. Mantras are developed, affirmations are said, spiritual practices are established. Since 600 BC we have used this time, culturally symbolized with the Baby New Year, to believe that we can create the life we’ve always wanted…even if we haven’t been able to create it until now.

Then…February hits. Slowly but surely, the gyms are less crowded. The concept of writing a new script has somehow fallen into the recesses of our minds. The calendar and appointment books are now filled with the same things we fill them with every year. The beautiful clean pages are filled with cross-outs, penciled in responsibilities and last-minute additions. Meditation time has been replaced with hitting the snooze button and our greatest mantra becomes, “Oh, God” or one that helps us release frustration and exasperation.

What happens between January and February 1stand why does it happen to so many of us- even with such noble of goals? The truth is that it’s impossible to create a new reality or a new life when the same old you shows up. As much as you would truly like or want to change the conditions of your life, it’s impossible if nothing has changed within you- the co-creator. Dr. Joe Dispenza, world-renowned scientist, teacher, lecturer, and author, explains this beautifully when he explains how if you bring all of your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions of the past into the present, you can only recreate what you have always known.

We see this so often in relationships. Someone wants a loving, healthy, and fulfilling relationship to make them happy. They may even truly believe that they are worthy and deserving of a great relationship but the truth is that if they are not happy, healthy and whole within themselves, they’re not going to find it outside of themselves- regardless of the nature of the relationship.

That is one of the many reasons I love the work that I do with betrayal. Very few people have never been betrayed, and betrayal doesn’t always leave an indelible mark on our hearts. For the purpose of my study, I defined betrayal as the breaking of a spoken or unspoken rule by someone who has put his/her needs before your own and your wellbeing. Understandably, what I found in my study was that the deeper the relationship, the more dependent you were on the betrayer, the greater the wound of betrayal. If you are betrayed by an acquaintance, it won’t have the same effect as being betrayed by a best friend, partner, or spouse. I also learned that the wounds of betrayal can run so deep, that people can stay “stuck” for months, years, or even a lifetime.

So think about it, how do you show up for happy, healthy, fulfilling relationships when you aren’t showing up that way? Betrayal can leave us feeling sick, stuck, small, vulnerable and struggling with what I’ve identified to be Post Betrayal Syndrome™. In addition, to being able to recognize the symptoms of Post Betrayal Syndrome, I have also developed a tried and true process that will move you from Betrayal to Breakthrough so that you can be your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual best. So much so that I even created the Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT) Instituteto help people heal from betrayal.

As much as we would love to simply wave a magic wand and create the life of our dreams, it doesn’t work that way. The New Year is a beautiful time to start fresh, and the hope and enthusiasm it brings is inspiring and challenging. When working to achieve those new goals, it’s important to know who’s showing up. Are you working out with the same plan and strategy that didn’t work well for you last time? Are you attending the weight loss meeting with the same eating habits that got you there to begin with?

Whatever your goal, whatever life you wish to create, your intentions, beliefs, and habits have to work in tandem- from the inside, out. Our abundant Universe is ready and willing to bring you all that you need. Your job is to make sure that the past doesn’t seep into the present to create your future. Here’s to being your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual best this New Year and beyond.

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Anna Miranda is an intuitive coach who has dedicated her life to the study of metaphysics and utilizing many forms of intuitive arts to spiritually coach those looking to discover their true potential. Aside from her resume, Anna was pivotal in my betrayal journey and helped me realize the true purpose of my betrayal. Today, Anna is here to rediscover my healing journey, and share her wealth of knowledge with you.

If you have ever been curious about creating soul contracts with yourself, partner and family, how to gain absolute faith and trust the universe, or get a closer look into how I dealt with my betrayal, this episode is for you. Anna is an advocate for believing in yourself, listening to your soul to tell you what to do next, and getting outside of the victim mentality.

By letting go of the shame and embarrassment that goes along with sharing your betrayal, you can stop hiding and embrace and trust all aspects of ‘what is’. While vulnerability may be scary, it is the only way to fully unlock your true potential and ability for love. It is time to rediscover your vibrant self, and Anna is here to help.

Are you truly open to vulnerability? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

Learn how to trust in your intuition again
Realizing your betrayal as a gift to unlocking your true self
Why sometimes you have to lose what that means the most to make a change
How to ‘find the gold in the trauma’
Becoming truly selfless and vulnerable through soul contracts

Quotes

“I remember thinking explicitly, I don't trust certainly him, I don't trust myself, at least let me trust in the universe. And Anna seemed to have this direct line” (3:04) - Debi

“My only job is to help you tap into what you already are, to the essence of your being. That we tend to forget when we are in trauma” (4:00) - Anna

“In soul contracts, we don't see obstacle or pain as a bad thing, we actually see it as a grand opportunity that your soul set forth way before it was even incarnated in this lifetime” (8:22) - Anna

“It wasn't enough for me to heal personally. The injustice of it was so gigantic for me, that I said if I can heal from this I will have to do my best to heal as many people as I can” (24:55) - Debi

“True authenticity has to come from a place of vulnerability” (33:31) - Anna

Links

Anna Miranda’s Website

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A crisis, tragedy, illness or trauma can blindside us. It can take the wind out of our sails, stop us in our tracks, and leave life as we know it changed forever. It can wreak havoc on us physically, mentally and emotionally as we do our best to recover from the shock from what we never saw (or weren’t willing to see) coming down the road. While these types of life-altering experiences can shake us to the core, have you ever considered the idea that they may possibly be the perfect catalyst for change or even…a gift?

For many of us, our lives don’t change unless they have to. We plod along going about our business and rarely stop to consider how we’ve been living. Many go through life almost sleepwalking; numbly and mindlessly getting through each day. We may go years in an unfulfilling job, with mediocre relationships, loveless marriages, poor health, low energy, and little joy.

We may never have had the confidence we needed to pursue a unique skill that may have led us to discover our greatest passion and purpose. We may have spent our adult lives being too afraid to pursue an exciting opportunity or travel on an unfamiliar path that could have led to something spectacular. We may have put our lives on hold as we wait for the perfect time, season, reason or person to inspire us to take a bold step or make a big move. For some of us, we may have been so caught up in the details of our day that we were unable to see more than getting through our daily “to-do” lists.

We do this day after day after day after day…until something wakes us up and somehow inspires us to take a different approach and begin the process of making a much-needed change. What is that something? Often it’s a crisis, tragedy, illness or trauma.

We often look at a crisis as a huge and negative disruption in our lives, one that throws us and we wonder if we’ll ever recover from it. But you’ve heard the saying “as one door closes, another door opens.” Well, that door probably closed because of a crisis, tragedy, illness, trauma or, maybe even just a major disappointment. It could have closed because that relationship finally ended, that diagnosis was just given, that business just took a turn, you had to make that major decision, or you got that phone call you hoped would never come. In either case, because one door closed, a new door was revealed. A door you may never have seen had that first door not closed. A new door, ready for you to open; leading to a very new, very different and possibly very welcomed chapter in your life. Why?

Links:

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Even if it looks like you have it all from the outside, what is happening inside your body can often not match up. If you are feeling trapped or stuck by societies constraints of what you ‘should do’ and are looking for a way to connect back to your inner self, Lucinda Bakken White is here to help.

After leaving a dream job at IBM and sinking into a deep suicidal depression, Lucinda realized that she was denying her own authentic self in order to conform to what society told her to do. After embracing her anger and finding the motivation to become her true self, Lucinda dedicated herself to helping other women rediscover their passions. Lucinda believes that when you connect with your authentic wildness there is a natural energy that enlivens you from the inside out, and she is sharing how to get in touch with that version of yourself today.

It might be scary to deny what you have been taught, but questioning what you know and coming up with a new belief can be powerful, not frightening. If you are having a crisis and feeling trapped, Lucinda is a kind voice of hope to help you get your life back to balanced. By checking your energy and tapping into who you truly are, you can live the life you have always dreamed of.

Do you struggle with the pressures created by society? Let us know where you are at in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

Why you may be betraying your authentic self without knowing it
How looking at anger as a motivator can help get you moving
Discovering your childlike authentic self and embracing your inner wildness
Creating instead of focusing on the problem and getting out of your routine
Getting in touch with your animal symbol to better understand yourself

Quotes

“We want to feel loveable and fit in. So we end up conforming to other peoples rules. The rules of the society, our culture, our family. And we deny our authenticity on the inside” (3:57)

“I always come full circle with tragedy and obstacles in my life as ‘oh this lead me here and without this happening, I wouldn’t have gotten here and I learned so much and it is really not about the other, it is about me’.” (10:21)

“I always look at everything now as an immersion. I don't know it unless I am immersed in it. (16:05)

“Wild just implies movement, and the only thing constant in nature is change. So we are meant to be constantly moving on that wheel” (20:43)

“Our authentic self actually has a gift that we are meant to share with the world to be a better place, and that gives our life a higher purpose and deeper meaning (23:04)

Links

Confessions of a Bone Woman by Lucinda Bakken White

Lucinda’s Inner Wildness Guide Website

Lucinda’s Weekly Blog

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Confessions of a Bone Woman: Realizing Authentic Wildness in a Civilized World

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When we think of trauma, we often think of tragic accidents, natural disasters, the death of a loved one or a frightening diagnosis. These situations rock us to our core, shatter us as well as everything we’ve counted on. Yet, there’s another type of trauma that can rock us as well and it happens when those we’ve trusted and/or were dependent upon betray us. It’s called “betrayal trauma.” For example, a child experiences sexual abuse from a relative, your partner steals the company funds, your spouse has an affair, your best friend lied to you. These traumas may range in severity but regardless, they all hurt because these betrayals destroy our trust. They shift our perspective, change how we view others and the world and leave us questioning our relationships and ourselves. How can you cope with betrayal?

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Often we define ourselves by our relationships, so when they crumble, we are left unsure how to rebuild everything around us. Suzanne Borelli experienced her own marital trauma and has worked every day to put aside her negative self-esteem to turn around her life for the better. Now in the best state of her life, Suzanne was a member of my ‘Fab 14’ Ph.D. study, and her contributions helped unveil discoveries around how women deal with betrayal.

Today Suzanne is opening up about how she picked up the pieces, why you should make sure to put yourself on the list, and the importance of self-awareness, plus so much more. Our betrayal does not define who we are or our future, and Suzanne is all about taking micro steps towards creating a better situation for yourself.

Through her experience, Suzanne has become passionate about helping other women process their own grief and come out swinging on the other side. An advocate for prioritizing self-care, focusing on being thankful and taking note of your daily actions to improve yourself, Suzanne is a bright light and inspiring example.

Have you experienced a betrayal similar to Suzanne's? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

The three discoveries made during the ‘Fab 14’ study
Creating a new set of your own rules after betrayal
The difference between a post-betrayal transformation and post-betrayal syndrome
Why your biggest crisis can reveal your greatest gift
Doing something for yourself every single day to make you feel better

Quotes

“If I could be of service and if I could help other women with the same struggle, I really wanted to be a part of that” (2:58)

“I realized that the pain of staying where I was stuck, that pain was much stronger than any of the pain of trying to experience something new” (8:43)

“I feel like my loved ones get a better version of me if I have self-care every day” (14:42)

“I was very mindful of okay, this has happened, how can I conquer this or how can I work with this?” (20:43)

“Part of this experience has rebirthed me or woken me up and I just feel really happy and lucky” (24:37)

Links

Feeling Fantastic Today

Feeling Fantastic Today on Facebook | Email

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So things didn’t go as planned. In fact, you may be looking at what seems like a colossal failure. It can be so challenging to pick ourselves up after falling down (repeatedly) and being someone known to “run enthusiastically in the wrong direction” I feel your frustration. Sure it’s easy to give up and give in but here are 7 steps I’ve found really helpful to get back up again.

Acknowledge it: Trying to pretend like it didn’t happen may seem like a worthy goal but it’s a recipe for prolonged pain. Here’s where the saying “what we resist, persists” comes in really handy. By facing it, acknowledging it and looking at it squarely, you’re able to see it clearly. Only when we can see things clearly are we able to learn and grow from what we’ve seen.
Ruminate don’t marinate: The process of rumination is when we go over an experience in order to make sense out of the situation. This can be really helpful to a degree. Once we’ve made sense out of it, it’s important to move to the next step before we start marinating in it. Ruminate for too long and it becomes a very comfortable and familiar space and that’s not where you want to stay. Use the information to see why something happened, possibly see what areas need to change for next time, but get out of that space before it’s too cozy to leave.
Learn from it: An experience is useless unless we learn the lesson it left in its wake. Did you learn you needed more support, more time, more direction or different resources? Do you see that the timing was off, your boundaries weren’t specific enough or there was a challenge with communication? Here’s where we’re usually really hard on ourselves but try to approach this by speaking with yourself how you’d speak with a friend. I’m sure you wouldn’t berate your friend, telling him/her how dumb their idea was and why they deserved to have it fail, so don’t do that to yourself. Love, compassion, and patience are what’s needed for this phase.
Try a different approach: A willingness to change and doing something different is the only way to bring about a different result. It could be a different approach, a different method, a different level of support or even a different level of thinking. Changing how you think/act/react will ensure a different result next time.
New rules: So you’ve looked squarely at your experience, learned from it, and know what you need to do differently next time. Now it’s time to create some new rules if not for others, for yourself. What do you insist upon this time? What’s a deal breaker and what needs to be in place before you invest your time, money, effort and energy again? Do you need to know your idea is divinely inspired, more strategically coordinated or better timed? Get those rules set so you’re clear. It’ll also give you more confidence when you try again.
Forgive: Resentment is one of the most physically and emotionally destructive emotions we can have. It suppresses your immune system, creates accelerated aging and wreaks havoc on your body and mind. Whether that means forgiving yourself or forgiving the person who hurt you or let you down, forgiving and letting go of that resentment helps you let go of the pain and clear the space for a new beginning.
Trust the process: I know it can seem like nothing ever goes your way and you’re destined to spend a lifetime trying to get it right but the reality is, the universe is conspiring in your favor. Believe that, trust the process and watch it eventually unfold.

Links:

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There is a reason you are having physical, emotional or mental pain that you might not understand. Sarah Weiss has been trained by spiritual masters from many traditions and uses her skills and a medical intuitive to bridge the gap between symptoms and relief. After 45 years of committed learning about awakening high-frequency awareness, subtle energy perception, and self-empowerment, Sarah is empowering others to awaken their own healing capabilities through healing.

Today we are diving right into how our bodies are connected to greater things happening around us, and why it might be playing a big role in your overall health. Sarah is sharing the power of the collective, how to use your body to take painful memories and turn it into positive energy, plus so much more.

The more we tune into our intuition and the subtle energy of our beings, the better we are able to connect to our inner truth compass and live in a safer state. Sarah is walking us through what it takes to connect back to your truth and work to clean out your system every day. A unique and interesting perspective, Sarah is sharing her wealth of knowledge with us on this episode. Does Sarah’s description of an Empath relate to you? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

Why your body may be responding to threats that you forgot existed
Tuning into the flow of positive energy in your system
Taking on other peoples emotions as an Empath and how to protect yourself
Why some of us are more susceptible to other peoples energy than others
How betrayal can affect your mind, emotions and especially your body

Quotes

“Betrayal is something that usually your body knows about, your intuition knows about it, long before your mind knows about it” (3:33)

“Tuning in to your body becoming more embodies actually helps you feel safer than if you dissociate” (13:07)

“I love to think of a loving Mother Earth taking in that energy through her heart and loving me back with beautiful energy” (25:10)

“Betrayal is in the water we drink in the air we breathe, and so a lot of it is not personal, it is ignorance. It's real ignorance.” (31:40)

Links

SpiritHeal Online Website

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Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

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Let’s face it, change is hard and within change is the inherent fear factor- leaving what we have known and are comfortable with and not knowing what the future will bring. Of course, the more comfortable and content we are with our situation, the more difficult it is to make the adjustment.

Yet even knowing that change in life is inevitable, it very often still fills us with a sense of grief. Losing a friend, job, or opportunity understandably fills us with tremendous sadness, as a break-up, betrayal, or disappointment can, but even seemingly happy occasions can be just as traumatic. Especially if they are situations that force us to move from one stage life to another. Graduating from high school or college, leaving a job or moving to a new location, birthdays, weddings and retirement can fill us with distress. Leaving what we've known, are used to, and are comfortable with, whether good or bad, can lead us to that overwhelming sense of loss and/or anxiety.

The crux of the anxiety associated with change comes from the fact that we feel that we are losing something. At times, we may even feel that we have no control. Shifting that paradigm will go a long way to making the process smoother and less painful and it really isn’t as hard as you may think.

Links:

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Emerald Peaceful GreenForest is a wonderful example of someone who can continually find hope, healing, and compassion in whatever life throws at her, and comes back stronger every time. The ‘Empress of Encouragement’, Emerald is a premier and trusted advisor to many of the worlds leading influencers in the personal and professional development industry.

Today Emerald is sharing some interesting perspectives and ways to heal from a betrayal that you may not have tried before. Along with her emotionally unstable childhood, struggle through her 3-year-old son's sexual abuse, and abusive relationships, Emerald has continued to keep her faith and heal her relationship with herself. On this episode Emerald is sharing her journey, what inspires her to keep going, and so much more.

If you are feeling confused as a leader in your current reality, but have a strong calling and big vision, Emerald is an inspiring and enlighted voice of clarity in the sea of confusion. We are opening up to the vastness of reality and healing your trauma one step at a time through specific processes and intentions.

How does your story relate to Emerald’s? Let us know in the comments on the episode page.

In This Episode

Cultural conditioning and creating a model of self-care
How sound can release and heal trauma on a molecular level
Different modalities of healing and ways to start from the inside out
Letting go of what once was to make room for what can be
Opening up to the vastness of reality and starting to use your intention

Quotes

“What’s really interesting about therapy is it allows you to distinguish what's going on, but it doesn’t necessarily help you to transcend it.” (8:40)

“A lot of the shifts that happened in my life came as a result of what I am going to call divine intervention.” (15:54)

“Gratitude is the currency of the universe, and currency is gratitude in action” (30:20)

Links

Instant Clarity Meditation Gift

Men on Purpose Podcast

Emerald GreenForest Website

Lil’ Iguana Children’s Safety Foundation

Check out the full show notes for this episode

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

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Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

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If you stop to think about it, most of the needs we are trying to get our partner to fill are the same needs that went unmet when we were children. Joyce Schafers went through her own trauma and betrayal and recognized this failing pattern, so she created a model to help other couples thrive. A best-selling author, public speaker, and life skills coach specializing in relationship counseling, Joyce has a keen ability to expose the root issues that cause relationships to fail and heal them before they do.

Joyce is sharing with us her theory of the cycle of emotional pain, what happens when we are in it, and how we can get out of it. She is discussing the unconscious needs we try and fill externally, why you need to do the work to recognize and acknowledge your wounds, and managing your triggers in order to fill your own cup.

Using her own experiences as a guiding light, Joyce is an advocate for awareness and using the power of choice to create the life you deserve. It is time to stop putting pressure on your partner to fill the unmet needs of your childhood and break the cycle to stop your emotional pain.

Are you ready to accept yourself, flaws and all? Let us know your thoughts in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

Defining trauma, betrayal and the cycle of emotional pain
Creating the awareness and addressing your emotional needs
Why you should view your triggers as opportunities to heal your trauma
Strategies to break your cycle of emotional pain
How unhealed traumas from childhood show up in adult needs

Quotes

“The trauma when it is not addressed creates this emotional need which then creates this desire to get the emotional need met externally” (2:40)

“When we’re triggered, my approach is to help that person become aware of what is actually going on, and help them debunk the story” (8:39)

“When you can really like plug your own details into the cycle of emotional pain, understand exactly how it is impacting you, it is so incredibly powerful.” (15:57)

“The common denominator here is me. So how our my broken bits, how is my trauma and emotional pain creating this cycle?” (22:14)

“If we created our story, that's a good thing because we can create a new one. And you can create a new one by not believing the stuff we have believed in the past.” (29:20)

Links

Be one of the first 2 people to contact Joyce via her website & you will win one of her self study courses.

Joyce’s Website

Contact Joyce on Facebook | Twitter

Self-Study Course

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If you’ve ever baked a cake, you know that if you put in fresh, delicious ingredients in the appropriate amounts at the appropriate time, you often create something delicious.

You also know that while many tasty ingredients may be available to you and within easy reach, like mustard, pepper, garlic or vinegar, they simply don’t belong in your cake so you purposely and consciously choose to leave them out. If you were to add those ingredients to your mix, you wouldn’t expect a positive result. It’s all very logical and rational when it comes to baking, isn’t it?

So here’s a question. If you desire to create a “delicious” life, why is it that you’d add the ingredients that don’t work and often leave out the ingredients that would make life…delicious?

So many areas of life impact our “cake” from the food we eat to the people we spend our time with, to the thoughts we think. Here are a few “ingredients” that impact our recipes…

What you eat. If your diet is made up of fast food, processed foods, and foods high in sugar, salt and fat, you can’t really be surprised if your body doesn’t look or feel its best, can you? Do you have enough liquid to make the batter moist and bake to perfection? What are you adding to your recipe – and will it produce the delicious end result you want?
What you think. If you think you’re unlovable, unworthy or incapable, can you really be surprised if these thoughts encourage you to act or carry yourself a certain way? Maybe they’ll prevent you from feeling deserving of a loving relationship, cause you to feel unworthy of something fabulous or incapable of achieving a goal or dream. If negative thoughts are continuously playing in your mind, take a look at how they’re showing themselves within your life and how they are contributing to your “cake.”
What you feel. If you feel overweight, unattractive or ill-equipped in some way, take a look at the way you dress, the way you carry yourself, what you do (or don’t do) and the relationships you have. Notice how these feelings show themselves in the clothes you choose, the opportunities you avoid and what you’re willing to tolerate in a coworker, friend or partner. Anger, doubt, frustration, revenge and other negative feelings are the equivalents of adding rotten eggs and sour milk to your “cake.”
What you hear. If you’re listening to people who are negative, critical, pessimistic and judgmental, can you be surprised when you feel deflated, depleted and uninspired? Of course, you’re trying to be a good friend, you may even be the “go to person” when someone wants to gossip, needs to vent or complain. Begin to notice how you feel once this negativity is dumped on you and see how it’s holding you back from creating a scrumptious result.
What you see. If you’re reading negative news or being “entertained” by shows filled with misery, pain, violence or vulgarity, are you surprised if that has an impact on you? The TV news is full of sensationalism and negativity. Sure you may be up to date on the latest tragedies and misfortunes but how do these visuals resonate with you? Do they make you feel calm, serene and comfortable or nervous, vulnerable and afraid? Consider how these ingredients are impacting your mix.
What you do. If you’re doing little more than chores or tasks when you’re home and then fill your day with running errands or going to a boring and unfulfilling job, can you be surprised if you’re not excited about your life? If your life is crammed with tasks leaving no room for self-care, healthy eating, exercise, downtime, fulfillment, and fun, can you see how this may be showing itself in how you look, feel and live? Can you see how it’s creating an undesirable “cake?”
What you believe. Your belief system is created by the repetition of an idea that you trust as the truth. Perhaps you were told, “you can be, do or have anything” and you’ve repeated this into a belief. Or perhaps you were told that you were not meant to be wealthy, happy, healthy or carefree. You may have heard that “life is a struggle” or that “everyone in our family has a fiery temper, is prone to heart disease, and has these big thighs.” With repetition, these thoughts become part of your belief system. Can you see how you live with limits when you go into your adult life carrying these beliefs? Take a look to see if you’ve unintentionally added some harsh ingredients into your “cake.”

All of these factors contribute to who we are, how we live and the results we produce. With awareness and a desire to change, we can slowly and steadily change whatever area doesn’t work well for us anymore.

It’s time to bake a scrumptious, mouthwatering and flavorful “cake” bursting with ingredients that make it appetizing and appealing. I’m going for a beautiful, decadent, double chocolate, rich, creamy, 7-layer cake. Gluten-free, of course:). You?

Links:

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So many of us assume when it comes to eating disorders, but many people can struggle with disordered eating through various stages of their lives. In cases of betrayal or trauma, you can often hold your pain in your stomach, and this can have a negative impact on your own health.

After 23 years at her NYC practice, Mindy Gorman-Plutzer has seen her fair share of psychology related eating issues. Today, Mindy is here to help us understand what betrayal in the form of an eating disorder looks like, why we do it and where it stems from, and how we can start to heal our mind, bodies, and spirit.

Mindy has created a system of strategies including functional nutrition, practical coaching techniques, result oriented psychology and body-centered practices to help people strengthen their relationship with food. Eating disorders can be influenced by a wide range of factors including genetic makeup, brain chemistry, and blood sugar. It is important to acknowledge your biology and understand the trauma that may be held within your gut in order to heal yourself from the inside out.

We can’t begin to forgive others until we forgive ourselves, and that starts on a cellular level. By examining your relationship to food, you can gain a deeper understanding of who you are and the story your body tells. It is time to let go of the self-sabotaging habits and start supporting your body to begin healing and empowering yourself.

What is your relationship with food like? Do you struggle with disordered eating? Let us know in the comments section on the episode page!

In This Episode

Common signs and symptoms of disordered eating
The biological genetic component that may be affecting your hunger hormones
Physical and psychological implications of eating disorders
How to gain insight into what is dysfunctional in your body's messages
Why food can start off as self-soothing and end up as self-sabotaging

Quotes

“Wanting to change our weight, manage our bodies, often shows up in the guise of an eating disorder. Because it starts out as a solution to a problem that is believed to be intolerable.” (3:03)

“The betrayal is about how we disavow ourselves from our universally given right to thrive.” (6:06)

“Food is going to be the component that is acted out with. So for somebody who has suffered trauma, they are going to choose to check out of their bodies.” (13:28)

“When we can develop tools and strategies to manage that split off part of ourselves, sustainable recovery begins, and that is when we feel empowered.” (18:29)

“Change is about doing, transformation is about being. And I believe that no matter what we are dealing with in our lives, that is painful and feels like a betrayal, we can come home to ourselves.” (26:53)

Links

The Freedom Promise website

The Freedom Promise Book

Contact Mindy at mindy@thefreedompromise.com - Don't forget the subject line ‘End the Betrayal’

Check out the full show notes for this episode

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

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The Freedom Promise: 7 Steps to Stop Fearing What Food Will Do TO You and Start Embracing What It Can Do FOR You

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A tale as old as business itself, Dr. Felice Gersh was blindsided by her patient turned business partner and best friend when she betrayed her to start a competing practice. Today Felice is sharing how she was able to pick up the pieces, manage the emotions of being betrayed, and grow forward.

Felice is sharing her experience in both personal and professional betrayal, how it impacted both her family and her business, and how this helped her focus on what’s important in life. By doing the best you can to keep looking ahead and not stressing over the impossible battles, Felice believes that everyone can adapt, adjust and move on.

A beautiful message of resilience and rebuilding, today’s episode is all about accepting that betrayal is always a possibility in a relationship, and not letting it stop you anyways.

Have you felt the sting of betrayal? How did you overcome it? Let us know in the comments section on the episode page!

In This Episode

What to do when you feel silenced by your betrayer
Not letting betrayal slow you down and leading by example
Keeping things above board for the sake of business civility
Attempt to dissolve rumors while still looking reputable
Why you should try and have fewer assumptions

Quotes

“I was in complete fantasyland thinking everything was great when obviously for quite some time she was strategizing and planning” (2:31)

“It was a blend of every negative emotion that you can think of is what I went through experiencing. And it was a heartbreak.” (5:41)

“My motto was ‘you just have to keep going’, and you can’t just sit and stew in your juices, you know. You have to just keep moving forward.” (9:16)

“I think that going through that made me realize that you know what, if I could sort of deal with this, this was such an attack on so many levels you know personal and professional, that I could withstand most anything.” (17:48)

“You can’t go into relationships with the expectation that they are going to end up badly. I think we need to be brave and we have to just accept that sometimes people will betray us. But if we don’t have that relationship that we could lose or be betrayed by, then we will never have any relationships, right?” (20:24)

Links

Dr. Felice Gersh's website

Dr. Felice Gersh on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

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In The Unshakable Woman, I offer my interpretation on the idea of death and rebirth, explaining that sometimes things have to come to a full stop, a complete closure, in order for you to move forward and move on. It’s like continually repairing everything that goes wrong with a house that was initially built on a shaky foundation. You can repair the cracks, the leaks, the appliances, and the floors. You can repaint, redecorate, and add beautiful landscaping. Yet, even with all that, sometimes you just need to knock it all down and build a stronger house that’s built on a rock-solid foundation so that no matter how strong the elements are, the structure remains unshakable.

When we’re trying to move forward, it’s natural that old thoughts, behaviors, habits, triggers, scenarios, reminders, and people keep us tied to the past. So often I’ll hear of people moving to a new area for a fresh start, changing jobs or changing partners in their search for a new beginning. It’s all well and good if you’re changing these things for the right reasons. When you’re hoping that a new situation creates a new you, without doing the internal work to help you get there, you’re destined to bring the old version of you wherever you go.

So, if your intention is to shed the old and embrace the new, how can you do it? It could be a daily practice that helps shed the old thinking to embrace the new, or a ceremonial type of activity to make the change “official,” or anything that signifies for you the completion of something that you’re moving on from.

Links:

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The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind and Life After a Life Crisis

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After a betrayal in her own life lead her to find her passion, Dr. Melissa Kalt decided to leave her practice as a physician and strike out on her own to spread her knowledge about the power of integrated medicine.

Today Melissa is sharing some amazing lessons in staying in integrity and honoring your truth in order to be true to who you are. Learn about everything from colorpuncture to EMDR and how you can free yourself of your physical and mental symptoms. Melissa is sharing how she first noticed her ‘calm before the storm’ theory, and why you should embrace the death of your old self in order for a new you to emerge, plus so much more.

Melissa was able to take her trauma on a journey of exploring alternative medicine, transformative coaching and acknowledging betrayal to lead to the beautiful place she is in now. If you are ready to put your trauma behind you and begin to heal, this episode is for you.

What do you think about Melissa’s journey and triumphant rebirth? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

How to rebuild your life and find motivation in trauma
Adrenal fatigue, dysfunction and why holistic medicine can help
What is colorpuncture and how it can relieve everything from anxiety to a cold
Relieving physical symptoms of stress by healing your emotional wounds
Making the choice between staying in a victim mindset or choosing empowerment

Quotes

“I think that it is really important to bring awareness when we are [acting like the calm before the storm] because that's the first key point where we have an opportunity to change the course of sort of how things play out.” (3:05)

“I was so amazed by this seven-year-old girl standing in my bedroom, who was willing to stand in her truth, she was amazing. She was like my hero, my role model. Because she was better at it at seven than I was at forty.” (7:10)

“I had really established this pattern of ignoring myself, ignoring my body. But when I started doing these treatments, it was a really great way for me to attune to my body, what am I feeling right now?” (16:31)

“The breakdown, whether that's from betrayal or otherwise, is necessary for a breakthrough. And I think often times it brings us closer to our ‘why’, our calling, our destiny, what we are supposed to be here doing.” (23:08)

“Taking some time to really be clear and settle into their own body, and really asking what it is they need, gives them a great space to then reach out for support” (26:02)

Links

Melissa’s Clarity Guide

Melissa’s Website

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Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

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Allana Pratt is an intimacy expert who has helped over 4 million people live open-hearted unapologetic lives through her YouTube channel and coaching. A passionate and inspiring leader, Allana is sharing her theories on strength and vulnerability, and giving yourself permission to feel your deepest emotions so that they can help you heal.

As women, we often stay in our heads too much, which can lead to jealousy, envy, and going into a situation already picturing the worst case scenario. By processing the pain into a gift, you can see how much you have grown from your challenges, and find equal value in pain and pleasure. When you accomplish this, you are able to live your life in the present and follow your intuitive nature.

Learn about Mel Robbin’s 5 Second Rule, how to navigate intense emotions, and why you need to go inside to love and accept all parts of yourself equally. For those of us who just don't feel like we have permission to relax into our own worth, base our lives around our accomplishments, Allana is here to give you the breathing space and insight to be as beautiful and resilient as you truly can be.

What did you enjoy most about this conversation where we discover that it is okay to find strength in your vulnerability? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

How to see the silver linings in the lessons of betrayal
The difference between worth and accomplishments
Having your own back and a relationship with yourself
One of the biggest blocks to being successful and finding an ideal mate
Ways to bring up issues in a relationship in a non-confrontational way

Quotes

“We do shut our heart. And that's just beautiful, healthy, we are loving ourselves, we are protecting ourselves. But in so doing, we are cutting ourselves off from our own intuition, our instincts. Were cutting ourselves off from the flow of life” (2:24)

“Life is not about doing it right, looking good and being happy all the time! Life is about experience. And whether it is through the path of pain, or through the path of bliss, if we keep our heart open, if we open in vulnerability, we return to the same place, love.” (5:22)

“Of course we have a preference, of course, we’d like to get the job or like the date to go well. But we don't need it to go well in order to be good enough because we have already done all that inner work inside.” (11:47)

“We all are the same dark and light. We are all everything. So that essence is within you. Say thank you, sister! And go home, put on a song, and start to dance, let that awaken within you. (25:42)

“You don't need to accomplish more in order to rest into your worth. Be willing to take those two or three steps inward to really process all the crap you have been through into these beautiful gems, that within you will awaken your true genius, your true essence, your authenticity.” (31:33)

Links

7 Part Complimentary Training

Allana’s Website

Follow Allana’s YouTube Channel

Allana Pratt Podcast

The 5 Second Rule - Mel Robbins

Check out the full show notes for this episode

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

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Betrayal happens when there’s the breaking of a spoken or unspoken rule within a relationship. The more we trusted and were dependent upon the person, the bigger the betrayal. We can be betrayed by a family member, partner, friend, co-worker or someone in a position of authority. Which betrayals hurt the most? The ones which involved the greatest amount of our time, trust and heart.

Links:

Check out the full show notes for this episode

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

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Phaedra Antioco is one of the most sought after pain relief experts who helps high performing people get back to the life they once had before pain. After breaking free from her own pain, and specializing in pain relief for over 20 years, Phaedra created an easy to follow pain relief system to help her clients stand strong once again.

Phaedra believes that every physical pain has an emotional root, and when we identify the roots of those pain is when we can truly begin to heal. Focusing on congruency between how you feel inside and how you respond outside, Phaedra’s system is all about paying attention to what is not working in your life to make way for better things.

Your body is letting you know what is happening mentally and emotionally and when you pay attention to it is when you can uncover, unlock and heal. By asking yourself what isn't working in your life, you can start to release your pain and listen to the things in life that are pleasant.

It is time to take the leap and do the things that scare you because on the other side of that fear is everything you want. How does Phaedra’s mission resonate with you? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

How something mental and emotional can translate into something physical
The trauma vortex and how to shift out of that stress
5 steps to break free from pain
Why fear is paralyzing and you need to feel safe to make good choices
Orienting yourself to pleasure and rewiring your brain to pleasant things

Quotes

“I sought various treatment to help me because I don't remember the accident, I don't remember the trauma, but my body does. (3:10)

“So we really need to look at how we show up in the world today as adults, who we choose to be in relationships with and how we show up in those relationships really start from our childhood. And we can call that developmental trauma” (8:25)

“I guide people to start rewiring their brain out of the pain. Because it's not all that bad, there's always a way” (15:06)

“We might only be focused on that struggle and how hard life has been, but we also need to look at how the positives we have had and how our story really does create who we are. So we need to look, explore and then release the past trauma” (21:10)

“Anytime an emotion comes up, explore it, really let it out. If its anger, beat the bed, beat the pillow. But the reality is it is coming up for a reason, so just look at it and examine it.” (30:09)

Links

Phaedra’s Website

5 Steps To Break Free From Pain Webinar

Check out the full show notes for this episode

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

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Dr. Roberta Shaler is a relationship consultant, mediator, and speaker who provides intuitive and personalized care for relationships in crisis. She is on a mission to help people stop tolerating abuse, and has coined the category of ‘hijackels’. Dr. Shaler has dedicated herself to helping couples stop making themselves crazy while saving your sanity along the way.

A self-described ‘life mechanic’ who welcomes relationships at all stages, Dr. Shaler prides herself on knowing what you need as a couple, asking couples the hard questions, and understanding the current and future state of your relationship.

Dr. Shaler is describing exactly what a ‘hijackal’ is, including their tendencies for manipulation and exploitation, how to educate, empower and gain new strategies to prepare yourself to leave a hijackal situation, and why we are attracted to this type in the first place.

It is important to develop a good sense of self, have non-negotiable boundaries and communicate them in order to stay alert and have healthy relationships. Dr. Shaler is here to give you the secrets to this and so much more. Let us know if you implement any of these strategies into your life in the comments section on the episode page!

In This Episode

How to know if you have been ‘hijackaled’ and how to heal
Strategies to encourage the other person to communicate
Ways to know if you have a relationship with a hijackal
The difference between difficult people and relentlessly difficult people
Love bombing, hoovering, and the signs to be wise for

Quotes

“Everybody needs to know it's absolutely normal for two human beings to not agree on everything, and you need some communication and conflict resolution skills, or at least some conflict management skills” (2:42)

“It's important to know that going for help is a sign of strength. It's a sign of saying ‘I really want this relationship to matter’.” (4:36)

“You are not in a position to judge, neither is the ‘Google Goddess’. So let's not even pretend, But what we can talk about are patterns, traits and cycles” (10:10)

“I don't call them victims, I call them unwitting prey. Because hijackals are predators. And so there you are just looking for love and wanting to believe the best in people and going the extra mile. And they are saying oh look there's a hot one, I can control that one.” (18:38)

“When you find yourself in a relationship like that, and they are being all perfect and lovely on the outside and horrible to you at home, take off those rose-colored glasses and see the red flags.” (31:15)

Links

How to Spot a Hijackal

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler Patreon

Dr. Roberta Shaler’s Products

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler’s Website

For Relationship Help YouTube Channel

Emotional Savvy Podcast

Save your Sanity Podcast

Check out the full show notes for this episode

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

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Whether it was intentional or unintentional, sometimes we simply screw up.

Once you’ve taken responsibility for your actions and behavior, communicated in a way the person you hurt will understand, were remorseful, empathetic, offered restitution and learned from it, there are still a few more things you can do. Forgiveness takes time along with consistent effort to repair the damage done so have patience. The bigger the screw up the longer it can take because the person you hurt may be reeling from the shock, pain or anguish you caused and has to find new footing as they readjust to what they’ve just experienced by your actions. This process is now about them as they learn what role they may have played, what changes they need to make to feel valued, safe and secure again. While they’re working through it, healing, changing and growing as a result of what they’ve just been through, now is also the time to work on self-forgiveness. Sure, you may feel guilt and shame for the pain you caused but that doesn’t help anyone.

About From Betrayal To Breakthrough:

The betrayal of a family member, partner, friend, etc. can create physical, mental and emotional challenges. If left unhealed, it impacts us personally and professionally.

Host, Dr. Debi Silber introduces The From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast which will be sharing insights from the best therapists, coaches, healers, thought leaders and everyday people, combined with the findings of a recent Ph.D. study on betrayal to help you move forward and heal...once and for all.

Links:

Check out the full show notes for this episode

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

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Rae Luskin is a true leader in using creative expression to nurture self-worth, self-healing and social change. For over 20 years she has helped individuals and groups realize their authentic passion and purpose to become effective leaders and confident problem solvers. Today Rae is here to share her story of how she was able to use art and prayer to overcome her childhood trauma and find her way to healing.

Rae uses the freedom she finds from scribbling and writing as a means of self-expression while creating clarity and awareness. By fighting for the importance of the art of imagination, Rae is sharing her story of resilience to let people know that they are not alone. Everything from the power of creative visioning to how the colors you choose can affect your mood, this episode is all about exploring how creativity can lead to healing.

Have you used the power of creative visioning to create forgiveness or healing? Let us know your thoughts in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

How art and service saved Rae’s life
Opening yourself up to be guided by something larger than yourself
Getting to the other side of wanting to commit suicide
The sense of freedom that comes from scribbling and being creative
Ways you can express yourself creatively without being an artist

Quotes

“Our purpose in life is to go in and capture those sparks. And when we do, we will create peace on earth again” (2:52)

“Always looking towards the outside for the healer, the guru. Yes, you need people to be your partner, but I also needed to look inside and see what was already there. What tools did I already own?” (7:03)

“It's a holistic brain exercise when you scribble and then write. And you are bypassing the judgments and you are creating new neuropathways” (10:41)

“It gave me a deeper ability to notice what he gave me and separate the act from the person who was mentally ill… It allowed me to deeply go into forgiveness in ways I couldn't imagine. And I couldn't see that until I really started to draw and paint out my feelings.” (14:53)

“We all have something from each other. Everybody wants to be seen, heard and understood. And if we can witness that, we're giving a gift to ourselves and other people.” (21:38)

Links

The Creative Activist: Make the World Better, One Person, One Action at a Time

The Winning Adventure

Schedule a Coaching Session with Rae

Check out the full show notes for this episode

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

The Creative Activist: Make the World Better, One Person, One Action at a Time

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Dr. Sam Shay has battled his own health and addiction journey and has come out the other side inspired to help others who struggle with the same issues. An expert on a hodgepodge of situations like childhood betrayal, video game, and sugar addictions, and overcoming high-stress environments, Dr. Sam Shay is here to help you get over your own betrayals too.

Everything from moral injury to adrenal fatigue and being a child of divorce is on the table today. If you are looking to increase your resilience with functional medicine so you are not as vulnerable to vices, learn the skills of how to deal with and reverse the cycle, and understand improve your outlook, Dr. Sam Shay has the medicine you are looking for. Get ready for some much-needed inspiration and hope to overcome and heal from your pain and addiction.

What are your thoughts about what Dr. Sam Shay shared today? Do you have any burning questions for Part 2? Let us know in the comments!

In This Episode

PTSD, moral injury and the connection to betrayal
How harm, exploitation, and humiliation can be being used against you
Why stalking your partner's social media might be a form of hypervigilance
Finding gratification in addiction by shielding yourself from the war zone at home
How you can tame the BEAST of Addiction

Quotes

“The topic of betrayal is actually a really close theme, not only in my life personally but also in my clinical life. And as you said, it's also generational” (2:11)

“When someone is betrayed in that high stakes situation like a marriage, by the other person that has authority, then there is a loss of trust… And when you lose trust it's not simply left with a vacuum” (6:37)

“Moral injury, instead of striking first, hiding or becoming a brilliant liar, is instead attaching oneself to a person or an organization for protection. So people who have experience moral injury like to leech themselves onto organizations or people.” (17:08)

“It sounds kind of petty, three decades later, but it hurts and we’re social creatures and if we feel marginalized socially, we are hardwired genetically as social creatures to feel like that is generally life-threatening.” (20:12)

“There's more to dealing with betrayal than just looking at stressful thoughts. Because there is a definite impact on the physical body. That’s why I created the frameworks that I did, in order to help people whether they are dealing with something like that’s chronically unwell or they are dealing with an addiction.” (28:05)

Links

*Free “TAME the BEAST®” of addiction worksheet*

Free 15-minute discovery call to see if you are a right match for Dr. Shay’s online functional approach

Learn The Work of Byron Katie online
Tame The Beast of Addiction
10 Pillars of Health & ending fatigue course Gaming Disorder Ebook

Dr. Sam Shay’s Website

Check out the full show notes for this episode

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

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You’ve heard that forgiveness isn’t about the person who hurt you and that it’s about you. It’s true, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Forgiveness is just about the hardest thing you can do because it often goes against everything we know to be right, just, and true.

If someone did something cruel, hurtful, or selfish and we forgive them, does it mean that by forgiving them we’re somehow making what they did okay?

Are we setting ourselves up for it to happen again? Does forgiving someone mean we’re weak or a pushover? No, no, and no. Forgiveness means we’re letting ourselves off the hook, letting go of the tight grip the pain of someone else’s actions has on us. It allows us to move forward, put the pain to rest, and finally heal.

Links:

Check out the full show notes for this episode

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

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Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

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So many women are looking for a way to feel great about your body, confident about who you are and want to connect with your deepest purpose. Our guest today, Shanna Lee, helps women do exactly that through raising your frequency, finding your alignment and listening to your intuition.

The Soul Frequency has helped countless women manage their emotions and get to the root causes to find true inner healing. By surrounding yourself with people who believe in you, accepting love throughout the process of transformation, and getting to know who you really are, you can start living your most authentic life. Shanna encourages a life of open communication, constant growth and willingness to learn.

When you live out of alignment from who you really are, it can feel like you are just unplugged. When you can move through your fear and doubt, and reconnect to who you really are, you can start to move forward in life again. Because when you are connected to who you really are, purpose just shows up.

Does your soul frequency need a tune up? Let us know what resonated with you about Shanna’s message in the comments.

In This Episode

The role fear can play in holistic health
How betrayal can help you be more present with things you could not see clearly before
The relationship between doubt and fear and how to manage them
Specific tools for communicating your process of discovery to others
Why you should be ultra careful about who you spend your time with

Quotes

“We tend to build our life so that we don't have to bump up against fear, because who wants to? Right? It's not fun. We tend to, I call it ‘pretzel ourselves’, in all different ways, so that we just don't even know that its there.” (5:46)

“Your body is a byproduct of what is going on emotionally and internally in your life. And when you can heal that and look at that and bring that up to the place of awareness, your body follows suit.” (7:45)

“When we can get to that level of programming and see the programming, really positive shifts, and change come from just the byproduct of seeing it for the first time. And then, we can have a choice with it. Because if we can't see something consciously and acknowledge it, we can't have much choice around it.” (12:05)

“There is an important time in healing and in growth if you go on a transformational journey, where you have to really figure out who you are. Separate from everybody else. And how you think and feel about things.” (17:57)

“As a society, for the most part of the collective conscious, we have kind of wiped that emotional part of us out or tried too. Except that it is part of who we are. And we can't just ignore it forever or we will get physical manifestations in our body called illness or disease in one way or another” (28:39)

Links

The Soul Frequency

The Soul Frequency Podcast

The Soul Frequency Book

Follow The Soul Frequency on Instagram

Check out the full show notes for this episode

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

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Femininity and intimacy are something that today's guest, Jen Rozenbaum, knows all about. A boudoir photographer, educator, and recent breast cancer survivor, Jen is an advocate for shedding both your inhibitions and your clothes.

Everything from questioning your own femininity, embracing who you are and standing up for your relationship with your own body is on the table today. It doesn't have to take a life crisis to take care of and celebrate yourself, and it is time to spread your power and beauty.

This is a real and open talk about finding unique beauty in unexpected places, recognizing your own power, and kicking cancers ass. If you have or are currently dealing with cancer in some aspect of your life, this episode is for you. How does Jen’s attitude of embracing femininity and understanding purpose through disease fit into your journey? Let us know in the comments.

In This Episode

The realities of what a cancer patient is actually thinking and how you can support them
What you can learn from being betrayed by your body
Fully understanding the fundamental aspects of self-love
Knowing what you want and having the courage to ask for it
Listening to the universe and trusting your gut above all else

Quotes

“I have this belief that if you shed your clothes you shed your inhibitions, and the true you really comes to the surface. So that's really what I’ve dedicated myself to, every woman has a story, I just take a picture of it.” (2:31)

“As much as I am helping other women and kicking their butts, they are also helping heal me and kick my butt into, you know, living the most full life I can live.” (4:09)

“Really being in tune with what makes you happy, what you want in life, what you will tolerate and boundaries, and when you stand up for those things, the love for yourself grows exponentially. And you become powerful enough to then go after what you want to do in your life.” (13:51)

“It is still a process, and I think that it is very difficult for women to be honest with each other about those processes that we are going through throughout life, and I would love to see more of that honesty and connection.” (20:23)

“I also try to stand in the moment and say I need to deal with this now, I need to feel the pain and the agony and the sadness because if I don't it will come back to get me at some point. And I am not ready to sacrifice any more time of my life for that.” (27:59)

Links

Jen’s Website

Shamelessly Feminine Website

Follow Jen on Instagram | YouTube

Check out the full show notes for this episode

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

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Recently, I did a Ph.D. study focusing on how women experience betrayal—what holds them back and what helps them heal. During that study, three very exciting groundbreaking discoveries were made:

The first: healing from betrayal is vastly different from healing from other types of life crises (such as the death of a loved one, disease, natural disaster, etc.).

The second: there’s a collection of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms so common to betrayal that it’s become known as Post Betrayal Syndrome.

The third: while someone can stay stuck for years, decades, or even a lifetime following a betrayal, if we’re going to fully heal we will go through five predictable and proven stages that take us from betrayal to transformation—and to a newly termed state called Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT) ®

We'll be talking about those 5 stages and so much more on the From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast, stay tuned!

About From Betrayal To Breakthrough:

The betrayal of a family member, partner, friend, etc. can create physical, mental and emotional challenges. If left unhealed, it impacts us personally and professionally.

Links:

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

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Do you feel as though you have conquered many aspects in your life, but finding love is one that has evaded you? Riana Milne knows this feeling and is here to share the good the bad and the ugly when it comes to relationships, dating, and trauma. Many of us have unconscious emotional wounds that we carry with us into our adult life and can be the reason why we can't seem to figure out why we can’t find love.

By starting the path to understanding you can begin to make internal changes that can have a radical effect on you and your partner's happiness. Once you become mindful and conscious of your decisions, the healing of the brain and the body can begin again. It is time to uncover your past trauma patterns and start working towards the healing process.

What kind of trauma have you had to overcome in your life? How has it affected your ability to find a partner? Let us know where you are on this journey in the comments section on the episode page!

In This Episode

How childhood relationship trauma impacts your adult life relationships
10 adverse childhood events that sabotage future love
The many characteristics of childhood trauma
Figuring out where your adult actions and behaviors are rooted
Understanding your original wounds and communicating through it with your partner

Quotes

“I didn’t know about this stuff. Once I found it I was like ‘oh my gosh, the floodgates are opening’. And that's why I put my programs together, for people who have gone through this. It's like ‘okay I got it, now what do I do with it?’” (3:46)

“Depression can come out as anger, emotionally checking out, or just extreme fatigue. So if you grow up with a parent with those kind of issues, which they often got from their parents because it is a generational thing, then the person of high anxiety is always someone from childhood trauma.” (12:04)

“Everyone comes to me with their own different puzzle you know, depending on what their traumas were and then how we have to help heal them.” (14:03)

“There are ways to find emotionally healthy, involved and conscious partners. And this is the other technique I teach of, ‘where are they? How do you find them? And how do you stay away from buying into the rules that are ridiculous.’” (23:27)

Links

Lessons in Life and Love Podcast

Free Life and Love Transformation Discovery Session

Free Have the Love You Deserve EBook

Riana’s Website

Check out the full show notes for this episode

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

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Dr. Sidney Cohen has 35 years of experience helping couples work through betrayals. Whether it is rebuilding or moving on, Dr. Sidney has seen it all when it comes to ways that both the betrayer and the betrayed can act. Today he is sharing his wealth of knowledge around the significant variables that can play a role in betrayal and healing.

By measuring the tolerableness of a betrayal, focusing on healing one day at a time and making a healing commitment to yourself, It is possible to get your pain to a more manageable level so that you can begin to heal. Learn why you can’t rush forgiveness, why self-comfort is important to mental health and what to do when you have no closure, plus more.

It is important to remember the courage and resilience that we all have inside of us. With the right tools, resources and a plan, you can bounce back from this betrayal and find healing and change. Let us know your thoughts about Dr. Sidney’s discussion in the comments section on the episode page!

In This Episode

Common examples of betrayal Dr. Sidney comes across on a regular basis
Essential things the betrayer needs to do in order to create healing
Why the betrayed has the right to decide the length of time healing takes
Getting past shame and embarrassment to find self-comfort
The role psychotherapy can play in cases of betrayal

Quotes

“The definition that I use is any significant feeling of let down by someone or something important to you, based on what you believed you had the right to believe they would never do to you.” (1:42)

“If the betrayal feels tolerable to the person that has been betrayed, then I get a sense that there is room for healing.” (7:33)

“If the betrayer really means business about doing what they cant to create the healing that can allow the betrayed person to feel that they really can open up their hearts again, that's what it behooves the betrayer to do.” (13:41)

“Needs are human, and we are all human. However, in the face of still feeling the pain and the psychological torment of being betrayed, to give into those needs, while its human, it can also be something that the betrayed come to regret.” (22:24)

“As much as anything that the betrayed can gain out of therapy and the rest of the support they gain is a realization that they are still very much worthwhile, very much still loveable” (31:45)

Links

Your Self Sabotaging Inner Bully

Follow Dr. Sidney and watch the Dr. Sid Show on Facebook

Dr. Sidney’s Website

Check out the full show notes for this episode

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

Your Self-Sabotaging Inner Bully: Standing Up To It Once and For All!

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Betrayal is defined as: “A violation of a person's trust or confidence.” I define it as the deliberate breaking of a spoken or unspoken rule within a relationship. The more we trust and are dependent upon the person who breaks the rules, the greater the harm, the deeper the hurt, and the bigger the betrayal.

For example, let’s take a child who completely trusts and depends on their parent. If that parent does something abusive or harmful, that’s going to have a bigger impact then, let’s say, a co-worker who takes credit for your idea. They’re both betrayals because a trust has been violated, but they won’t have the same impact. Betrayal can have many faces. What follows are just a few examples.

About From Betrayal To Breakthrough:

The betrayal of a family member, partner, friend, etc. can create physical, mental and emotional challenges. If left unhealed, it impacts us personally and professionally.

Links:

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

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Betrayal can leave an intense emotional toxic buildup in its wake, so you must equip yourself with every tool possible to help navigate betrayal and learn to forgive. Dr. Eric Zielinkski is an aromatherapist, chiropractor, public health researcher and author of The Healing Power of Essential Oils. Today he is shedding light on the cumulative effect that betrayal can have, and what you need to do in order to look, feel and live better.

Dr. Z believes that first, you must recognize that betrayal is always a possibility. It is our responsibility to learn how to forgive, remember, and give people allowance to make mistakes. If you can release your betrayal and forgive, your pain will also vanish. However, forgiveness can take time and Dr. Z shares many ways in which you can get started on your healing journey today.

Learn which essential oil is the best for reducing anxiety and depression, how your breathing and posture can be a sign of stress, and the role smell can play in triggering repressed betrayal memories. As a bonus, learn some common physical responses to betrayal and why you should be creating a healthy air environment.

Have essential oils played a role in your road from betrayal to breakthrough? Let us know in the comments section on the episode page.

In This Episode

The cumulative effect of betrayal and how it hinders our ability to deal with future events
Signs and symptoms of microtraumas and betrayals
Ways an emotional betrayal can manifest into a physical reaction
How a positive scent can heal and a negative scent can hurt
Learning how to trust again through the power of essential oils

Quotes

“[People] are battling financial problems, they are battling marriage problems, relationship, work problems, and they don’t know why. They need to go from betrayal to breakthrough.” (2:54)

“When something happens to you, it really might be minor in the big scheme of things. But it seems huge because of all these little microtraumas and these micro betrayals that have come along the way. And what I want to do is help people just process betrayal, globally” (6:26)

“I’ve become in tune with my body enough to know when something is happening, that I try not to be a reservoir for negative energy.” (13:45)

“You gotta at least create a healthy air environment which gives your mind a chance to just be. And that's the one thing people don't recognize is when you smell something it stimulates an immediate reaction to your brain.” (20:22)

“We want people to be lead intuitively, we want to let our body tell us what it needs. And this is where we need to remember that normal, should be feeling good.” (26:16)

Links

Dr. Eric Z’s Website

The Healing Power of Essential Oils by Dr. Eric Zielinski

How Your Biggest Crisis Reveals Your Greatest Gift Free Download

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

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The betrayal of a family member, partner, friend, etc. can create physical, mental and emotional challenges. If left unhealed, it impacts us personally and professionally.

Links:

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

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Dr. Debi Silber