Designing Yourself: Recent Episodes
Whitney Hess & Paul McAleer
Is self-inquiry enough? Or do we need to produce external, physical artifacts to express and share our talents, creativity and wisdom? In this episode, the finale of Season 3, Paul and Whitney question the value of work and its inner and outer manifestations.
What would happen if we stopped trying to control everything in our lives? What does it mean to put aside outcomes and accomplishments, and just allow things to happen without planning them? In this episode, Whitney and Paul talk about surrendering to the universe and the freedom that can come as a result of letting go.
When we think about stealing, odds are good we think about stuff – and yes, Whitney and Paul discuss that at length. Beyond that, though, the idea of stealing energy in order to make ourselves feel better is also explored – does it really help us?
This week, Whitney and Paul talk cleanliness. Paul nerds out about keeping things in a certain place and order – and the ramifications of those decisions – while Whitney introduces the idea of being clean on the inside and what that means for her.
Is self-restraint a valuable trait? In this episode, Whitney & Paul dive in to this topic and find that flexibility and mindfulness drive our own self-restraint.
This week, Whitney and Paul explore the concept of contentment. A surprising amount of work goes into it – focusing on the present moment, and what we truly have and need.
This week we talk about self-discipline. Scheduling, commitments, habits... these all reflect how we stick to things. Or do they?
In this episode, we discuss the compassion we have with ourselves and others, particularly in times of turmoil. Do other people affect our moods? How do we approach highly emotional situations while being mindful of our own emotions?
In our second episode this season, we're talking about striving — becoming attached to the idea of achieving or obtaining something, and then expending all of our energy in order to get it. But does our preoccupation with some future state get in the way of us giving our all in the moment? What if when we finally get what we want, we don't want it anymore? And what might we be missing if we're always trying to control the outcomes of our efforts?
We're starting off our third season with a discussion about the truth. What do we do to find our own personal truth? What does it feel like to be truthful with ourselves and others? How does our playing a role, or being someone we're not, reflect our truth?
On this episode, Whitney and Paul discuss comparisons and, in particular, the stories of ourselves we carry around in our heads. We recognize the idea of having a choice in the matter of that story as well.
On this episode, we delve into the topic of recharging. Sometimes our work and other commitments can deplete our energies. So how do you fill yourself up again, and stay motivated?
We contemplate whether stress is objectively negative and delve into the view of stress as a motivator and ultimately, positive reaction to happenings around us.
This week, Paul and Whitney talk about waiting for permission. When is the right time to ignore what other people are giving you permission to do, and start doing the things you want to do?
Both Paul and Whitney have been working on what it means to be ready for something. In this episode, they get to the heart of readiness and how it relates to the story - or website redesign! - that is our lives.
A conversation before our recording led us to the topic of growth. In this episode, Paul and Whitney dig in to the components of growth, with a focus on both the positive (improving) and negative (pains).
In this episode, Paul and Whitney explore anxiety after Paul realizes that it may not be exactly the same as fear. Plus, we talk with Roz Duffy about how to let yourself experience life and creativity.
In lucky episode 13, Paul and Whitney dig into work and effort. Then we sit down with the great Karen McGrane. Karen shares how she divvies up her days and her efforts, the balance of client work & non-client work, & chasing down interesting ideas.
In this episode, we talk about energy. What does it mean when we feel high energy or low energy? How do we balance our energy and find grounding? This is the episode where Paul finally talks chakras, and we explain it in a way that hopefully doesn't sound too "whoo-whoo." Also, we interview Center Centre's Dr. Leslie Jensen-Inman on how she stays energetic through stress.
On this episode, Paul and Whitney talk intention. We hear the phrase "good intentions" often but, is intention enough? Plus, we're joined by the great Gina Trapani to discuss how she thinks about intention.
Since the start, Designing Yourself has been a conversation. Season one had two voices in that conversation: mine and Whitney's. We love talking about these topics and could go on for hours — we may do so yet! But we're deeply interested and invested in bringing other voices into our conversation.
Those "other voices" should include yours. So with that in mind, I'm happy to introduce our hotline.
To leave us feedback or ask us questions, just call 404-500-SELF.
We'll be reviewing the messages regularly and will play our favorites as a part of upcoming episodes — both recorded and, eventually, live with some of our listeners. While we will always have a soft spot in our hearts for the written word, we're really interested in your voices.
We're thankful to have you along with us on this journey - and we're excited to hear what you have to say!
When Paul and I started a podcast to publicly explore the often sensitive domain of self-development, we hoped we would handle topics in a way that would appeal to the broadest audience possible. But we made one huge mistake: we didn't make it accessible for all.
We're thrilled to finally announce that all 10 episodes in the first season of Designing Yourself now have full transcripts. Each episode's transcript is right beneath the audio player on its respective blog post.
Reading through these pages of conversation helps us see even more clearly just how powerful it can be to bring our inner experience into the light. We hope you are encouraged to share your own truth, or at the very least know you are not alone.
A brief moment from Episode #1: The Hamster Wheel:
Whitney: So, here we are. We’re starting. You have to start somewhere, right?
Paul: You have to start somewhere. And if you don’t start, then nothing happens. Then nothing happens.
Whitney: And eventually you stop being given chances.
Paul: Yes, that’s true.
Whitney: Then the decision is made for you.
Paul: Yes. And then you start to feel powerless and like you don’t have control.
Whitney: Or you’re gone and it’s all over.
Paul: Yes. And then what? Nothing.
Whitney: We don’t know.
Paul: Well, we don’t know.
Whitney: Maybe you get a chance to do it again.
Paul: Yeah, that’d be pretty sweet. But maybe you won’t. I don’t know. But I do know that we started a podcast tonight.
Whitney: Which is pretty sweet.
Paul: It is pretty sweet.
Read the sweet, full transcript of episode #1 – all about beginnings.
Are regrets really all that bad? In this episode Whitney and Paul dive in and get right to it: why we feel regret, how it's triggered, and how to see it as an opportunity.
Whitney and Paul talk compassion and wisdom in this episode, as it pertains to others as well as the self. Does the way we see others affect compassion? What's the difference between empathy and compassion? We also talk about cultivating compassion and how it can be a truly empowering quality.
A butcher, a baker, a candlestick maker. I am a [blank]. What do we get out of making ourselves a noun? In this episode, Whitney and Paul try to conquer the complexities of identity.
Nothing in life is permanent and yet, we try to act like it is. In this episode Whitney and Paul dig deep into what constant change looks and feels like.
Is vulnerability necessary for personal growth? In this episode, Whitney and Paul tackle this sensitive topic, revealing their own hurdles with honesty and authenticity. What is the strength in vulnerability? And why is it so hard to let ourselves be seen for who we really are?
Why do we allow distractions to divert our attention and fragment our time, keeping us away from doing what really matters to us? In this episode, Paul and Whitney discuss what it means to concentrate, to pay attention, to focus–which always requires saying no to ourselves and others. When does a desire for productivity begin to diminish the quality of our lives? And is technology to blame or is it just human nature?
In this episode Whitney and Paul talk about balance. Can one achieve balance? Is it something that one can obtain over time? Is it permanent? And are Gummy vitamins a form of balance? (Spoiler: they are!)
Becoming aware of yourself, your body, your surroundings... it's tough stuff. In this episode, Whitney and Paul talk about how they've succeeded and faltered with self-awareness through their lives. Also: empathy for others and for one's self.
Fear! In this episode Paul and Whitney talk about one of their favorite topics - no, really - fear. What holds you back, and what keeps you up at night? How do you get past a sleepless night? From there, they discuss living in the future - which may be the genesis of our fear.
In the first episode of Designing Yourself, Whitney & Paul talk about the separation of one's self. We allow parts of ourselves to post things in various mediums, but does that give a picture of who we are, fully? Can it? They also talk about to do lists, starting things, and selflessness versus selfishness.