She's Fabulous by MaryAnn Lim Favie: Recent Episodes
Soul Rich Woman, Instant Podcast Leader, Woman Leader
Welcome to She’s Fabulous.
In this episode, I would like to share the meaning of this podcast to me and the lessons that launching this podcast has brought to my life.
This podcast show has done a lot to me:
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It has again proven to me that we are bigger than our insecurities and fears. That if we want to accomplish something, all we need is courage and a little help and push from people who believe we can do it.
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It has given me that platform to show myself up and let my voice get heard. I started to be seen as a person with a purpose beyond personal, someone who can help other women find theirs.
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I started getting messages from people I know, and even people I don’t know. It was heartwarming when someone sent me a message on my Facebook telling me she listened to an episode and can relate to me, and felt inspired. Not a few have expressed intention to join me in my cause, to participate in my passion project for middle aged women - on helping them feel fabulous again.
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More importantly, though in most episodes I just speak my mind and share my random thoughts without structure, without wanting to be perfect, I was able to overcome being highly critical of myself. I am not a professional podcaster, but I am a person with a pure intention to reach out and make a difference. And even if I change just one person's life for the better, I can say I have served my purpose.
Objections:
a) I started not sure about what role a podcast will do to my life in general. In 2019 I was new in the arena of using social media for professional reasons. Years before that my Facebook account was only meant to connect with family, relatives and friends, purely for a personal purpose. My LinkedIn was just for connecting with people in the industry where I am working in.
b) But then I reached that stage when I felt that no matter what I have gone through the past 50 years of my life - the trials and challenges, the success and the lessons - I was having that strong feeling that it is time to pay forward. I went through the most difficult time with the loss of my husband in May 2019 - one that changed my life and my daughters in an instant. But one morning I woke up with overwhelming gratitude seeing how despite the darkness, it has changed me and my daughters into more beautiful persons. And a heart filled with gratitude is a heart that wants to give and share. That was the morning I found my new purpose - to help other women like me overcome their deepest moment and be fabulous again - that is exactly what I wanted to do more of, for the rest of my life.
c) But who am I to get to people to listen to me? I am just like most of the people you see in social media - someone who lives a normal life, nothing extraordinary. And with social media being dominated by the more outgoing, more creative, bolder people who naturally can attract social media attention, how can I gain even just a little of that attention for someone to listen to my thoughts and to my stories?
d) And it hit me, isn’t it that the celebrities - the big names, the popular social media influencers, - isn’t it that following them do inspire us but somehow leaves us with a feeling that they are different from us that’s why they are successful? That we are likely not part of the “lucky ones” or we are not made like them, therefore to achieve that level of success or result is only for people who have special qualities like them? Well you may feel differently, but that is how I feel. And I have met a few normal people in my life that I may consider as ordinary, but living extraordinary lives enough to make an impact on others.
e) And I thought, I want to be like that - an ordinary person living an extraordinary life, creating extraordinary impact to ordinary people like me. But I need to start somewhere. I need to be seen, I need to be heard. I need to be able to have a platform to reach out to other people who are looking for ordinary people like - one who can guide and lead them to their better version, without feeling intimidated or feeling overwhelmed by popularity and the noise happening in the world of social media.
f) It is when I started my search for a way to start this new purpose. In November 2019, I joined the Soul Rich Woman community and attended the course. This was the start to me getting more understanding of the importance of being seen as a Leader in the space I want to go into, and to gain a deeper understanding of how to reach out to those ordinary people I want to help.
g) When the Instant Podcast Leader program was introduced to us during the course, I dismissed it as I do not see myself as a podcaster. In my mind, I will share my stories to people who will connect with me and would want to listen to them. But to be out there publicly and openly making a part of my life very accessible to anyone and to everyone, this was not my style.
h) But then I signed up for mentoring of the founder of Soul Rich Woman, Genecia Alluora. And on my first mentoring session with her, I understood more. Being seen is necessary to being heard. And being seen and heard is essential to cross over the line to being trusted.
i) I was convinced that this podcast will help elevate me to be one of the leaders of Soul Rich Woman, and I love that idea. I believe in what the community stands for - alone you are strong, together we are unstoppable. But there is one problem, I am totally scared of going public, of being out there. I have so many thoughts in my mind - I will surely make mistakes and what if I get criticised? What if I say something that is off to some people? what if I have grammatical errors and do not pronounce words properly? What if my English is not correct? Will I not make myself a subject of ridicule and criticisms, than be perceived as someone capable and a leader?
j) The first episodes were painstakingly long for me to write the content. When my first episodes aired, I did not like what I was hearing. I can easily pick out what I could have said better or where I could have sounded more like a pro. But my podcast coach Joanne keeps repeating this to me - the goal is not to sound professional as I am not a pro, the goal is to sound like who you are in real life, to be authentic, to be real.
k) And I realised she is right. I am my worst critic. And that if people who listen to me will find things to criticise, they are not my audience.
l) And isn’t it what was my intention in the first place - to find the ordinary people? To relate to people just like me? To send the message that if they find my life inspiring with all its flaws and wins, it is just like what can happen to another ordinary person like them? Which is why all of us can live a fabulous life on our own terms.
Conclusion:
To the important people in my life, I wanted to leave the episodes as a testament of how each of you have shaped my life in one way or another. You would know who you are when you listen to my stories. And I am taking this opportunity to say a big THANK YOU, and to send my love to you.
Truly, we are in charge of how we can make our life fabulous. I leave you with a challenge to live your own fabulous life everyday.
Please connect with me through my Facebook and Instagram accounts and my personal blog. I look forward to being with you in my next episode.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
EPISODE 51
TITLE: My Relationship With Food
Introdu
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1:
Eating When I Am Stressed
Story 2:
Eating When I Want To Celebrate
Story 3:
Eating To Provide Energy
Lessons:
- Benefits of Food
- Being Obsessed With Calories
- Enjoy The Experience
Conclusion:
EPISODE 50
TITLE: My Relationship With Money
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1:
What Is Money To Me?
Story 2:
Abundance
Story 3:
Good Credit
Lessons:
- Money Is Not Evil
- Means To Bless Others
- Not Equal To Being Greedy
Conclusion:
EPISODE 49
TITLE: Uncertainties Of A Businessowner
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1:
Uncertainties of A Newbie
Story 2:
Uncertainties of One With Experience
Story 3:
Adapting with the Reality
Lessons:
- It is not really different
- Stay grounded
- Stay committed
EPISODE 48
TITLE: The Business Landscape Has Changed
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1:
The Reality
Story 2:
Accepting The Reality
Story 3:
Adapting with the Reality
Lessons:
- The landscape has really changed
- Stay still
- Swim with the tide
Conclusion:
EPISODE 47
TITLE: Embracing Entrepreneurship
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1:
The Planning Stage
Story 2:
The Day We Incorporated
Story 3:
Being In Business
Lessons:
- Face the Big Picture
- Mitigate the Risks
- Persist
Conclusion:
EPISODE 46
TITLE: Finding Happiness in Teaching, Mentoring and Coaching
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1:
My Childhood Dream to Teach
Story 2:
Mentoring at Work
Story 3:
Coaching Beyond Work
Lessons:
- Coaching can change lives.
It is unlocking a person’s potential so they can maximise their own potential.
- A good coach tells you things you dont want to hear, what you dont want to see.
- The best coaches really care about people. They have a sincere interest in people.
EPISODE 45
TITLE: Do You Feel Like An Impostor?
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1:
When Do I Feel Like An Impostor
Story 2:
How Do I Guard Against The Feeling
Story 3:
Lessons:
- Break the silence. Separate feelings from fact. Recognize when you should feel fraudulent.
- Accentuate the positive. Develop a healthy response to failure and mistake making.
- Right the rules. Develop a new script. Visualize success. Reward yourself.
Conclusion:
In the end I will always choose to find ways to learn and will keep going no matter how old I get.
TITLE: Learning Never Stops
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1:
Learning in my job as an underwriter
Story 2:
Learning in entrepreneurship
Story 3:
Learning outside of work and business
Lessons:
- Learning keeps you young
- Learning makes you discover things you don’t know you can do
- Learning excites you about what can be
Conclusion:
In the end I will always choose to find ways to learn and will keep going no matter how old I get.
EPISODE 43:
TITLE: How I Started My First Company
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1: My first store
Story 2: Poderosas
Story 3: Cotapult
Lessons:
- Learn from your mistakes or the mistakes of others
- Collaborate
- Plan to Own It
Conclusion:
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
EPISODE 42
TITLE: My First Lessons on Investing
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1: My first passive income - stocks
Story 2: Our first investment property
Story 3: My first venture into business
Lessons:
- Don’t go blindly, Participate in what is familiar and where you will surely benefit
- Don’t be afraid to lose and learn
- Focus on learning and winning
Conclusion:
Enjoy the journey
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
EPISODE 41
TITLE: Developing an Entrepreneur Mindset
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1: Where did I get my business sense as a child
Rich Dad Poor Dad
Story 2: What ignited my dream
Story 3: My journey
Lessons:
- We model from what we see - community / network
- Learning is Essential
- Practice is Key
Conclusion:
Lifelong learning
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
EPISODE 40
TITLE: Leadership By Example
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1:
Shaping my leadership skills from childhood
Story 2:
Leadership at work
Story 3:
Teaching others to lead
Lessons:
- You need to be good
- You need to walk the talk
- You need to teach
Conclusion:
You cannot lead if no one follows you.
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
EPISODE 39
TITLE: My Favourite Relaxation Doses
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Insecurities
Story 1: The stereotype relaxation
Story 2: The challenge of money/resources
Story 3: The challenge of finding time
Lessons:
The best things in life can be free
You need to make time
Focus on what suits you
Conclusion:
Relaxation is a very personal experience.
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
EPISODE 38
TITLE: Stress Management
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1: My sources of stress
Story 2: How my body reacts to stress
Story 3: How I cope with stress
Lessons:
- Get physical
- Breathe
- Focus
Conclusion:
Stress is part of success
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
37 - EPISODE 37
TITLE: Burn-Out, It Happens To All
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1: My burn out experience when I was a student
Story 2: Burn out experience at work
Story 3: Burn out experience in life in general
Lessons:
- Flame can warm you up
- Recognize when it is getting too hot
- Cool down
Conclusion:
Burn out is normal, no one is exempted
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
36 - EPISODE 36
TITLE: Are you a Workaholic
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1: Molded to be one from childhood
Story 2: Workaholic at work
Story 3: Workaholic outside of work
Lessons:
- Workaholic can be a good thing if not perfection
- Give your best or not at all
- Do something you love, and you will never work a day in your life
Conclusion:
Work life balance
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
EPISODE 35
TITLE: My Top 3 Success Secrets
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1: The feeling that I am good
Story 2: Discovery that Success is not just about me and my skills
Story 3: Taste of success of others because of me
Lessons:
- Be fully aware of your own strengths and weaknesses.
- Focus on the picture of success
- Define your success by how much impact you make to others succeed because of you
Conclusion:
Make success a habit.
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1:
What I Am Passionate About
Story 2:
The Challenge of Liking Too Many Things
Story 3:
The Challenge of Not Having The Time
Lessons learnt:
- Don’t be a jack of all trades, a master of none
- Decide. Focus
- Grow and Enjoy
My Conclusion:
Work Hard. Play Harder.
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
EPISODE 33
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1: Toxic family
Story 2: Toxic friends
Story 3: Toxic co-workers
Lessons:
- Learn to recognize early
- Learn to accept, do not be guilty
- We become who we are with
Conclusion:
You either become like someone else, or that person becomes like you.
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
EPISODE 32
TITLE: It is OK To Be Afraid
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1:
No Fear when I was growing up - Ghost movies
Story 2:
Fear of Failing Myself
Story 3:
My Fears as A wife and Mother
Lessons:
- Fear changes as your life stage changes
- Fear can make or break you
- Fear will never be gone, learn how to handle
Conclusion:
Some fear can be managed, but others we need to live with.
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
EPISODE 31
TITLE: Keep Calm and Do Yoga
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1: How I Started Yoga
Story 2: My Yoga Practice
Story 3: My future in Yoga
Lessons:
- Set your own expectations on yourself.
- Do not compare yourself with others.
- Decide how you want to progress.
Conclusion:
Let your body dictate what you can do. No competition.
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
EPISODE 30
TITLE: Why I Love To Run
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1:
My exposure to running
Story 2:
My first run
Story 3:
My future runs
Lessons:
- I love the medals.
- I love the experience of overcoming something that is physically challenging
- I can make the experience more fun and memorable
Conclusion:
Flex your tenacity muscles more than your leg muscles.
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
EPISODE 29
TITLE: Health is Wealth
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
My Insecurities
Story 1: I have always been a healthy child growing up
Story 2: My allergies
Story 3: My varicosities
Lessons:
- We cannot choose what genes we will get.
- What happens after that is up to us and our lifestyle.
- How we will end up in the future is dependent on what we do now
Conclusion:
Health is wealth especially when you are getting older.
Like a car that has run many miles.
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
EPISODE 28
TITLE: Be Proud of Who You Are
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Story 1:
Growing up with a mindset of sacrifice for others
Story 2:
Sacrificing as a wife and mother.
Story 3:
Being a follower makes you a good leader.
Lessons:
- Finding what makes you unique and embracing it
- Being proud of what challenges you have overcome
- Accepting that perfect does not happen as everything will change and shake you up
Conclusion:
Enjoy the journey and the unfolding of your best version.
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
Transcription for Ep27:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
My Insecurities
Story 1:
Growing up as an illegitimate child - not a normal family
Story 2:
Being a Filipino in a foreign country
Story 3:
Growing old and body image.
Lessons:
1. It has to do with self-respect and self-esteem
2. It is more difficult to give what you do not have
3. Being a model of self-love
Conclusion:
Indeed the greatest love of all is inside of us.
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
Transcription for Ep 26
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
We all work hard to earn and save money. But do you know that I started earning more the more I spend money? Unbelievable? Well not at all.
Story 1:
My first biggest investment - Taking Wealth Academy classes.
Story 2:
Taking NLP classes.
Story 3:
Business entrepreneurship.
Lessons I would like to share with you:
- Without the proper mindset, success will be elusive.
- Success does not come free.
- You can only go as far as you are willing to invest in yourself.
Conclusion:
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Never skimp on yourself.
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You can get the best returns by giving yourself the best.
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
Transcript for Ep25
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Having a mentor, finding a coach. This is not something new but one that we have been hearing or reading as one of the success secrets of the rich, famous, successful people. But if that is so, why is it that not everyone has one?
With thousands of coaches popping up in social media feeds offering some sort of coaching service, I feel that it somehow has lost that feeling of being “privileged” that came with having a mentor or coach during my younger days. Previously when we hear of someone having a mentor or a coach, the impression is that it is expensive and only for the wealthy people who can afford to pay them. But actually, a Mentor can be anywhere or anyone in our world, can even be free.
If I look back, the person I can consider as my first Mentor was my boss when I entered the insurance world. Coming from a medical background, I have no idea of what life insurance is all about. My lady boss then had taught me from scratch and has exposed me to all opportunities to learn the ins and outs as quickly as possible. But outside of my work duties, I have seen from how she shows up everyday qualities that I just unconsciously picked up - being professional, being empathic, being resourceful, being driven and committed, being a wonderful mother and wife, being a loyal friend. The way that she has treated me as her subordinate were my first lessons on how to manage people and take care of them, how to lead by example, how to be customer-centric. Being under her for 17 years which is ⅓ of my lifetime by now, I can say that she has been the most influential person that has shaped my working career.
Outside of my work life, I was able to develop and grow my success mindset through my neuro linguistic programming mentor. Mainly his course has given me a different way of looking at things in life as expected from what is in scope of what I paid for when I enrolled in his classes. Beyond that, his life journey has been a model to me of serving other people, of being generous, the value of life and the time left for us in this word to make our existence matter. Being a cancer survivor, a loving Dad and husband, a teacher who connects and shows genuine interest in the success of others - he has ignited in me that desire to really be of service to others while we have the time, for we never know when bad luck will strike again even to the nicest people. The lessons I learned from him and his course was the starting point of achieving my goals one by one. It is from him that I learned about modelling other people’s success to save time, resources and effort in getting our dreams.
Well I had virtual mentors too, ones who have been feeding my mind and affirming my success psychology day by day by day. There are prominent personal development gurus whom I listen to as I start or end my day, who give me consistent doses of learnings, tips and encouragement. It can be through their courses or free content, these virtual mentors have made learning a necessity to me everyday. I tune in to podcasts when I am out for a walk or run or when I am in the shower. I watch video tutorials while I dress up and prepare for my day. I tune in as I enjoy lunch or dinner.
I realised that having a mentor has been very beneficial in my journey both in my career and personal relationships. And one very important element to me is that my Mentor should be someone I can relate to, someone I highly respect, and someone who demonstrates the values that are important to me. Without all these, a connection will never happen which makes the relationship difficult to thrive.
I have also seen in my own experience that how a mentor has treated me has a huge impact on how I become a mentor to others. What has helped me grow and become successful, my relationship with him or her, I tend to mimic and demonstrate to my mentees. Of course my style of mentoring another is an improved version but basically, I make sure I show up like my favourite mentors as I want to be like them to someone else.
But one thing for sure - having a mentor or coach need not be expensive. You see for me, technically it is the job of my first boss or my NLP mentor to coach me. But that also shows that mentors or coaches can be someone in our circle from whom we are learning and can continue to learn a lot from. But if you can afford it, find a mentor or a coach. Imagine having someone to just push you when you need it, one to celebrate milestones and be your cheerleader. The list of benefits of what a mentor or coach can do for us by far outweighs the cost. Make that investment now to accelerate your growth and achieve your goals.
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
Transcript for Ep24
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Do you belong to a community of people that serves you some benefit in one way or the other?
In social media sites, we can find thousands of groups appearing as recommendations for us to join because we have something in common with the people in those groups. We get to connect virtually and exchange views and opinions, or share just anything under the sun - shared hobbies, opinions, interests, the list is endless on why groups are being created.
When I came to Singapore in 2011, the first group I was able to connect with and be a part of was the group of Filipinos in the company. It was helpful to be with people who speak the same language, eat similar food, experiencing being homesick from family overseas,and struggling to survive in the new environment where as a foreigner, somehow we feel we do not belong. The lonely first few months of adjustment has been easier because you know what you are going through is normal, and a lot of people in your little Filipino community overcame and became successful. That was a source of hope and encouragement that yes, I can make it through and will be successful one day too.
Then when I was well-adjusted and comfortable in my little world at home and at work, I decided to find ways to be able to accelerate and achieve my goals while I am away from my family. I enrolled in a self-development course with Mind Kinesis Academy, where I studied neuro linguistic programming. This was my first ever group where all were Singaporeans and I was the only Filipino. I felt awkward at first, somewhat uncertain that I may not be able to show my real side, the authentic me, because I was the odd one out. But it turned out so different from my expectations. I was able to form a strong bond with my course mates. Our NLP mentor was able to put all of us into a place where we have allowed ourselves to be vulnerable, to share with each other to help all of us grow. Until today I remember with fondness our learning moments where we went all out with our emotions - happy, sad, afraid, hopeful, funny - ones that created that bond that has stayed with me throughout the years even if we are now mostly connecting by social media. I know it will be easy for us to pick up on the friendship that developed, when the time comes we see each other again.
Then there is community that has brought me surprises I have never expected. In November of 2019, I took a course with Soul Rich Woman. This is the first community I joined which is focused on women empowerment. I wanted to debunk the misconception that women mostly come together but do not form deep bonds as it so easy to fall prey to competition and envy, of creating silos where gossip and criticisms are very common between one group against another. After the course, I was able to create friendships where one supports the other to grow and be successful, where one would rather work with than work against in order to achieve goals faster. This community or tribe as we call it has led me to know a lot more wonderful women that have opened up business opportunities as well as close friendships.
I have learned the value of belonging to a community. It is where you can find a sense of belongingness because of similarities - in interests, in goals, in a journey we are going through. It can give us a sense of being connected even in the midst of strangers.
But more than the connection, if we work hard on building relationships it is where we can learn and grow with like-minded people. And even with people who have different interests than ours. It allows us to see different perspectives from ours. We also get the benefit of avoiding mistakes because we know someone has done it and failed, or accelerate us towards our goal because we can duplicate what others have done rather than reinventing the wheel on our own.
It is also where we get to see possibilities when we collaborate with someone. New things become easier, we become bolder because we get support and have some “cheerleaders” celebrating with us in our small wins till we achieve our goals.
For me, a community has made me a better person overall. And that is not because I have gained so much from people I meet there. But it is also because I can give and share, that I can support someone. Being in a community has trained me to look beyond myself and just be a more supportive and generous person. I hope you have one but if not, find one. For sure one day you will agree with me that being in a community contributes a lot to our success.
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
Transcript for Ep 23
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Our topic for today is about friendships, the ones that we keep over the years and hopefully to last our lifetime.
Over the years, I have made lots of friends. From friends during my childhood days that were mostly from the schools I have attended - elementary, high school and college classmates and batchmates. From different companies I have worked with in the health and financial industry. Also friends I have met from different personal development courses I have attended. From this group of friends, I have a set of friends when I want to go out for a drink, another set when I want to go out for a run, a different set when I want to have a good chat over a nice cup of coffee or enjoy good food. There are a lot of friends whom I have not seen for a long time and only talk to a few times a year. Some connections were only kept through social media.
But let’s talk about the real close friends - the “I can tell you anything” or “count in you always” kind of friend. Despite a thousand plus in my Facebook, I can count in less than the fingers in both hands this kind of friend that I know will really be there for me through thick and thin, who will stick with me when I become the worst version of me that I can possibly be.
In movies, I envy stories of really really tight friendships where one friend is willing to take the bullet for the other. I am not sure if I have developed such a deep and tight friendship with my group of friends. And sometimes, I ask myself why not?
I guess it is because I have always looked within my family for that kind of emotional security. My partner and my children, these are people I know will always watch my back and will love me no matter what. So I don’t really have that expectation to find it in any friend outside of my family.
I guess it is because I am a person who would rather be in my own personal space when I am feeling so crappy and not pleased with how my life is unfolding. I think in my worst lowest moments, those were moments where I preferred to be alone and only connect again when I have sorted things out and ready to face the world again.
I guess it is because I can enjoy hours and hours of just doing things on my own. So when I feel overworked and overwhelmed and need to relax and go out, most times I prefer to be free flowing, do things at my own pace, without worrying about pleasing someone else.
But don’t get me wrong, I do value all my social connections. I treasure deep friendships I had through the past years. But I am also conscious that the changing priorities and life stages, having new interests in life, the distance - all these can make even strong friendships less prominent over the years.
And if life stages cause us to drift apart, I know that the same will bring us closer again one day - when we become less busy, when we gain more time. So it is important to continue to nurture the friendship and make it last till the time we can pick it up again.
And how can we reconnect on a deeper level?
I was going over my life goals the other day and realised this - as I got more focused on career success, business and financial accomplishments, of hitting the milestones I have set for myself, I realised I have spent less time I use for nurturing my connection with others. When I was younger and less occupied with accomplishing goals, I remember I had in my Social goals a schedule to have lunch or dinner with at least one friend each week, to say hello or connect by Likes to at least 5 people in my social media circle everyday. What happened that I left this out of my yearly life goals? And why not now when we needed it more because of the pandemic when we are more disengaged and detached from everyone else in our lives.
And so I made these promises to myself:
First, if I want closer friendships even with the existing ones, the first step is to decide that I am going to do something about it. It means making time and being intentional. I have made a commitment to be more consistent in connecting, be available, reliable and responsive. Yes, that is now back into my Relationship goals.
Second, I need to pay close attention when I am spending time with my friends and be attuned to their presence. When I give my full attention, this will help create if not strengthen the psychological sense of connection. Out with superficial connections, every moment even if short should have that effect - being more connected, being present, having fun, creating memories.
And third, I need to be more open to share my thoughts and experiences. To develop intimacy and have that deep meaningful friendship with someone, we need to be OK to show who we really are and be authentic about it. The social media world has been creating a bubble of fantasy about a perfect happy life for everyone. Truth is life is never as colorful or as perfect as what we see in our mobile screens about someone else. Authenticity and vulnerability helps seal the bond and create tight friendships. Physical interactions still matter a lot.
There are friendships worth keeping and nurturing in our lifetime. They are the ones where we can just be ourselves, be at our craziest or ugliest, but most of all ones that can help us be at our best. Such friendships are golden.
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook, Instagram and my personal blog. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
TRANSCRIPT FOR EPISODE 6
DREAM BIG
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
In this episode, I will share my thoughts about dreaming and making it happen.
I love spending time daydreaming and I love sharing my dreams. And when I do that, it is quite often that I hear people around me say, “Wow you have big dreams.” Or sometimes not a word, but the look of not being convinced that my dream is achievable.
But really, when is a dream too BIG to achieve?
If I look back at my own life, since young I have been the ambitious type. And I have heard that same remarks with people around me telling me to dream for something realistic. In my young mind I would brush it off and tell myself “well, dreaming is free”. And I would just recreate in my mind that dream, with complete vivid pictures, over and over again.
I had imagined year after year of being on stage with my parents having that proud look when they pin the medal on me when I get high honors in school. I have imagined several times about having the toy that I wanted and playing with it. I have imagined several times about winning competitions, of getting the applause after a performance.
I remember that landing my first job in a prestigious medical institution, i practiced how the interview will be in my mind, and imagined the interviewer telling me I am accepted for the job. I remember when I wanted to land a job in the corporate world, I imagined myself in corporate clothes and going to office everyday I remember that when I wanted to get a job in Singapore, I imagined myself being in the company of Singaporeans and adapting to their way of living. I can think of many many instances both big and small occasions where I would picture in my mind first how it will happen, and then it happens. Does it happen 100% of the time? Of course not, but what I realise is that I always would have an alternative in mind easily coming up when it does not.
And this habit of picturing something in my mind continues until now that I am 50. I never realised then that such an activity means something. It just became a pattern that I would unconsciously do, automatic. When I started exploring courses on self-development, I realised that what I have been doing all along is a skill that being taught there - visualisation to achieve your dreams.
I know that when I get to reach my goal, it is a combination of being blessed and my own efforts. But I also know that there were a few steps that were essential in achieving my targets.
I realized that what made me stick to my dreams even if i experience failure again and again is the knowledge of the benefits I will gain from sticking to it no matter what. So this is the first tip that I would share - we must have our dreams personalised, customised just for our own self. It should be our own dream, not someone else’s. If we can picture in our mind every detail of that dream, it becomes easier to look back and remind ourselves what is the goal behind the goal when we feel frustrated when things dont work out.
But you would probably ask, what if the dream i have is what someone important in my life one wants for me, and I do not have much choice but to follow? Well, I think we do have a choice in every situation. My tip here is this - Make peace with that dream. Think of 100 reasons why that dream is good for you too. In that way, it will be easier to own it. When I decided to move to Singapore, the goal behind the goal is to be financially better for the family. But I found 101 reasons why it can be good for me, and that made me embrace that decision as my own. And it became one of the best decisions in my life.
Then the next step that I would do is Believe in that dream. I realise that my habit of picturing them happening as if it is real makes me focus and remove doubts that I can make my goal happen. Visualization is a very powerful tool. In my own experience it makes me “sensitive” to things around me that can contribute to achieving my goal faster. It helps me eliminate the noises I encounter along the way. Making something real in mind allows me to Believe it is possible.
Then the next step is to focus on Doings thing to make it happen. Brian Tracy's book "Eat That Frog", and I understand one thing: If it needs to be done, it needs to be done, also here is not any getting around it except to deny it or simply throw the situation away in total disgust and not want to deal with it.
Once I am definite about that BIG dream and have firm belief I can make it happen, I focus on making that BIG dream smaller. Planning and dividing it into smaller goals that lead to the bigger picture makes me feel I am progressing, that something is happening. If we focus just on the BIG goal and don't measure our way there, it is easier to get discouraged and frustrated and question if the BIG dream is really achievable.
Conclusion:
So if you have a dream, dream BIG. How much of that we can achieve is entirely up to us. Believe. Do consistently until you achieve. We all know this formula but sometimes we forget and just quit, sometimes when we are almost there at the finish line.
By the way, the last missing piece of my formula is Celebrate. Reward yourself for small achievements. This makes the journey enjoyable, one that will make you persist and look back at the experience one day with a smile.
Call to action:
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook blog and other social media accounts. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
TRANSCRIPT FOR EPISODE 5
NUGGETS OF WISDOM FROM MY FATHER
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
If you have followed my episodes,in episode 4 I have shared my most important lessons from my Mother. In this episode, I will share the ones I had from my Father.
In episode 1 I have described my father briefly - he was a Chinese businessman who was in the hardware store business, who was married and I being a part of his second family. My stories about him will revolve mostly around this.
Our family house was an old high school building, before it was acquired by my father for his hardware business. The first floor was converted to 1/3 being the hardware store, 1/3 being the storage area for wood and plywood and all the stocks, and 1/3 being the kitchen and dining area. If you go up the second floor, it will lead you to half of the floor converted to be the living area and all our bedrooms, and other half were also stockrooms.
This allows a set-up where during weekdays, we would see our father the whole day when the store is open, and then he leaves when the store closes at around 6 pm to be with his family in the evening. On Sundays, I remember my Mother will be very busy to prepare food for lunch. It will be like a feast, as my father and his family will come over to spend Sunday lunch with us.
I remember that when i was in grade school, I will be excited to come home from school. After doing all my lessons, my father will allow me to help in the hardware store. He will allow me to help with the tallying of the receipts using a calculator and help account the sales. He will also allow me to stay and observe, and help sell items in the store. My favourite spot is the section for screws, nuts and nails. At a very young age, I became knowledgeable of which nail is for wood or concrete. I enjoyed so much when someone walks in with a screw looking for a perfect nut to match it. Like a puzzle, I will feel so happy when I can find the perfect match to that screw. Another favourite spot is near the area where all the cans of paints were located. I enjoyed watching when paints are being mixed and new colors come up. Weird but I like the scent of paint and thinner.
I also enjoy tagging along with our father on trips when he would go visit one of his hardware branches outside of the city. I like the long road trips and how along the way we would stop to eat at nice restaurants.
My father’s birthday was on the 6th of March, and mine is on the 7th. So i would remember that all my birthdays were spent as double celebration with him.
A common everyday sight is him spending a meal with us where he would have a drink - gin mixed with coca cola. He would spend long hours in the dining table and it was during this time when he would tell stories about the business, or ask us about how our day was.
I believe this drinking habit was the reason why eventually he fell sick, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and dies at age 49. I remember the day of his death, I came home from school. We were asked to change into something red because it was his birthday in the Chinese calendar, something like that, and we were told we need to go to the hospital. When we arrived there, all 5 of us children, we were told that he was quite alert and in high spirits in the morning, but we saw lots of nurses and doctors going in and out of his room. I remember peeping into the room and seeing him look me in the eyes while the nurses were around him. I am not sure if he did saw me or that was my imagination, but that was the last time I saw him alive.
At age 12, it was quite significant to me losing him. My birthdays since then was spent celebrating just my own birthday, and I think those were the times I would think of him the most.
Looking back, though the time with him was limited, I know what his influence was into my life.
Until today when I tell stories of how we grew up with very good relationship with his legal family - his wife and my siblings there - I admire how he was able to do that. How did he manage to make my Mother and his wife agree on such an arrangement where we travel together on family trips, spent Sundays together, I would never know. In my young mind it impressed upon me this lesson - that when we committed mistakes or made a mess, it is up to us how to make it right. The fact that I grew up loving his legal family and my siblings there, of spending my vacation months in their house where I had wonderful memories of my childhood - I knew he did a great job there.
I also remember that on afternoons when I would volunteer to tally receipts and do small accounting tasks, he would tell me the importance of learning how to earn money no matter how small it is, and the value of labor. He would give me 10 cents for each booklet that I would finish, and that made me very proud. My entrepreneur mindset, I know i took it from him.
Conclusion:
They say a daughter is closer to the father than the mother. I guess that was true when he was still alive. And this episode is to remind myself of that - part of me was because of what I learned from him.
Why would I dedicate 2 episodes for the lessons from my parents? It is emphasizing that whoever we are now, a big portion was influenced by what we see from our parents, or whoever was the parent figure in our life. It is also to remind us that as parents or as a parent figure to someone, we are influencing a young soul by how we encourage, correct, teach, or just by simply being present. Let’s make that role count.
Call to action:
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook blog and other social media accounts. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
TRANSCRIPT FOR EPISODE 4
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
In this episode I would like to share with you some lessons that I have learned from the most influential person in my growing up life, my mother.
If you will be asked about who is your Super Hero, who will it be? My answer will be Wonder Woman. The original wonder woman series was in the 1970’s so I practically grew up admiring the beauty of Lynda Carter - her perfect, long curly locks, her very bright sexy suit, and the golden head dress with the big star. More than her looks, I am drawn by her traits and her super powers. I grew up thinking a woman should be all that she is - beautiful, graceful, brave, strong.
But when I became an adult who should realise that superheroes are just fictional, i continue to like Wonder Woman. In my mind, what she represents is not fictional, and that is because of my mother.
During my early childhood days, since i am the youngest in a brood of 5, i would always be around my Mom wherever she goes. When she goes to the salon to get her hair curled, i will have the same curls. When she buys cloth to be created by a dressmaker, the extra cloth will be made to a mini version for me. So we will have clothes made of same material. She was a fashionista when the word has not been invented in the 1970’s. When she goes to school for parent teacher meetings, or when she goes to events to pin my medal on stage, i remember my teachers and the mothers of my classmates admiring her for her well-picked fashionable clothes and shoes. One of my favourite play activities when I was young was to dress up like her. She has a large shoe display cabinet that would have probably more than 50 pairs of fashionable shoes. My favourite then was a high-heeled wedge in dark blue with bright red polka dots, and her high heels with clear plastic straps with diamond studs and glass heels. I would cry when my sisters will pick it up and I will be left to choose from the others. She has a big clothes cabinet that can fit the 5 of us when we play hide and seek, and a very huge chest that can fit in probably 2 grown up people. This is where she keeps the delicate ones that she does not use often. We will spend hours and hours playing dress up.
In my first episode, I have shared that my Mother has an adventurous nature. She left her parents in the province and went to explore Manila during her teens. With my father, she spent her working days co-managing his hardware stores. Among the businesses she has been involved in, my favourite was Orient House, a fine dining Chinese restaurant in Makati City, a prime business area in Metro Manila. We have very fond memories of being there whenever she would allow us to come with her when we do not have classes. We would enjoy being in the kitchen helping out the chef, being in the bar counter giving out drinks, folding big bags of table napkins into triangles, any small tasks we can do to help. My favourite activity and one I was excited about whenever she will bring me there is playing music with the jukebox. For the benefit of the millennials who may not be familiar, I am giving you permission to ask Mr. Google for an image. But to describe, a jukebox is a big music machine where you drop a coin, press a button among the selection of available songs, and it will manually play the record in a turntable inside the machine.
I grew up not really very open to my mother as I find that her personality is more of the silent and introvert type, and she was always busy running the business or cooking. She is not the affectionate type, and in fact on my wedding day when we had to take some photos, it felt awkward when the photographer asked me to kiss her for the picture. We never grew up her in an environment of hugs and kisses, we were trained to show respect by kissing of the hand whenever we see our elders.
But when I became a young mother, she became more present in my life since my firstborn is her first grand daughter. She will spoil my girls to no end, even to this day. When my husband died, whenever I would fly home on my weekend trips, she makes sure to be there to ease things up - volunteering to be my driver to pick me up, drive my daughters back to their dormitories when i fly back, run errands for me, cook for us, she was an all-around dependable person.
These days, some of my relatives and friends call me Wonder Woman. But I think I may be one because of what I have seen from my Mom.
To this day I admire how my mother was able to reinvent herself - from a provincial lass who barely finished high school, to eventually manage my father’s hardware stores and a restaurant. She was a classic example that to be successful in life, we need education. But the best education is not necessarily one that we can find inside the classroom. The best education can be from experiences, from what we will learn from being mentored, from being committed to learn on our own. My first lessons on courage and adventure, I learned from her.
I believe I also got my fashion sense from her. More than the liking for nice clothes, shoes and bags, I saw that despite her humble beginnings, she was able to gain respect and admiration from people by showing up looking appropriate all the time. My first lessons on beauty and that first impression matters, I learned from her.
Above all else, I admire how she was able to raise us up 5 children on her own. We have seen her survive challenges without the drama, just focused and calm. When people at work tell me they admire me for being calm under pressure, I know I got that from her too.
Conclusion:
When my daughters appreciate me as a Wonder Mother, I know it is because they have a Wonder Grandma. And it is my prayer that the legacy will continue to my grandchildren. I can leave them material things, but I wish that the lessons they get from me will be the ones they will remember about me the most.
We do not have to wait for Mother’s Day or some special occasion to appreciate our Moms, our Dads who are the Moms, or any Mom-figure in our lives. Let’s do it right now while they are still around.
Call to action:
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook blog and other social media accounts. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
TRANSCRIPT FOR EPISODE 3
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
How would you look back at yourself as a child? In this episode I will share with you some childhood stories and lessons that probably will remind you of yours.
I remember that as young child, when I am being asked what I wanted to be when I grow up, I will answer that I wanted to be a “Nun”, like a “Sister Mary Ann". I studied in a Catholic school run by nuns, and my mother has twin cousins who are nuns. I remember being fascinated seeing them looking so prim and proper all the time. They wear freshly pressed dresses, black stockings and black shiny leather shoes all the time. I like that everyone seems to behave well and would be polite and greet them when they pass by. However I was wearing bangs during my primary school, and I do not like seeing their bare forehead and pale lips. So I would say I wanted to be a NUN with bangs and red lipstick. Of course nobody took me seriously because of that. I changed my mind anyway when I found out that nuns cannot wear make up.
Then came the time when I have to enter pre-school. During my first day in kindergarten, I was so excited to meet other children. I was quite popular on the first day that 3 children kept talking with me even when the teacher was already talking. As punishment, we ended up in a corner with a tape on our small lips till the bell sounded off to end the classes for the day. You probably will react “hey that’s foul, the teacher should have not done that!” But this was in the 1970’s when teachers are still very traditional and child abuse is not yet a concern. I knew she meant well, just to teach us a lesson. She eventually became one of my favourite teachers. In fact, I ended up the school year as the class valedictorian. I progressed through grade school with the highest honors till I finished grade 6. My interactions with my teachers have been very pleasant that my dream changed - I wanted to be a Teacher.
Outside of school, my favourite was my play time with my siblings.
Each of us had a stuff toy whom we grew up with and treated as like a mini me - we would talk to them, eat, play and take a bath with them. I gave my toy a special name - Cowby, short for a baby cow. She was really cute in her multi-coloured clown attire. Each of us will have our own corner in the house where we will build our own small home by using cabinet handles, chairs and blankets. Even the helper is not allowed to touch and clean them up, as we continue to play day after day with our small cups and saucers, pretending to have our own little world acting out how we want to be when we grow up.
We also have this tradition that when All Souls Day comes and we need to be in the cemetery the whole day, we will organise a walking tour by ourselves. In the Chinese cemetery where our grandfather was buried, he was in this area where all have mausoleums with the big pictures of the dead persons. We would stop at each and look at the photos, and make up stories about how they lived depending if they look happy or sad. Our favourite part is going to the oldest part to look for graves that cracked or opened up due to ageing and the weather. We will look for old bones or hair and we will feel successful when we find one, and will then go back to talk about it endlessly while we make balls out of the melting candles that we lighted up for the dead.
Over the years, such adventure is one that we fondly remember and have actually done with my daughters when they were growing.
I think it is important to look back at our childhood days to have a better understanding of who we are now.
At an early age, I already know that I own my dream, and that it is OK to change the dream as long as it remains as mine. I wanted to be a nun, then changed to be a teacher. But to this day I have not become a classroom teacher, circumstances led me to be in the medical field and then in to the corporate world. Does that mean I failed my dream? In my working career, I am presented with lots of opportunity to teach - conduct trainings at work, teach and mentor my staff, coach people in the community. I have achieved the dream, but defined it in my own terms.
The story of my first day in kindergarten is very important to me. It was the first time in my life I felt embarrassed in public about my action. After school that day, I was so afraid to be scolded when I get home. Imagine being on first day and getting a disciplinary action? At a very young age, I felt like I failed my parents big time. But when my mother found out, she brushed it off and just told me not to be sociable when the teacher is talking. It became a topic later shared with relatives in family gatherings, but i think my Mom found it funny that i was talkative and sociable at such a young age, but in a positive way. Imagine if I was scolded and kept embarrassed in public, it surely will leave scars that will affect my self-esteem as I grow up. My mother probably cannot remember this story, but sometimes we do not know what experiences leave an imprint into our children’s young minds that can affect them as they grow up. This is why when it comes to raising my own children, I was very conscious of disliking the mistake and not the child, and making sure that i give guidance on how to correct the mistake in private. I cringe when I see parents scolding and embarrassing their child in front of other people - I would say a little prayer in my heart for this child not to have that trauma that can affect the self- esteem.
I also shared the stories of my time with my siblings because I know that my personality was shaped by those play times when we were allowed to be creative, to explore, to express ourselves. Between the 2 parents of my children, I am the more protective one - I was more careful of letting them play outside, who they are playing with. I have to remind myself all the time that to let them to grow is to allow them to fall and get bruises, to commit their mistakes and get hurt. What’s important is I am always there to see them get up, to guide them to correct their mistakes and be beside them as they heal.
Conclusion:
Our worth to our children changes as they go through different stages in their lives, but the lessons we learned while raising them are ones we will use over and over again regardless of what stage they are in.
My goal as a parent is to hear them tell stories one day of how they have enjoyed their childhood, and how I was present to them. I wish all of us success that one day, we will be part of the happy stories our children will tell their own children.
Call to action:
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook blog and other social media accounts. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
TRANSCRIPT FOR EPISODE 2
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
I would like to share that since I launched the first episode of my podcast, I received a lot of encouraging messages from family and friends. And so I would like to start this episode by extending my deepest THANK YOU to the wonderful people who expressed so much love and support. Along with that, I also received messages with questions - why a podcast? Why are you doing this? Are you shifting career? And some friends who knows me as being quite a private person asked - Aren’t you afraid of being exposed? So in this episode, I would want to share a bit more and answer those questions.
I love to challenge myself. When I turned 40, I took the saying “Life begins at 40” seriously. So every birthday since then, I would think of doing something that I have not done before in my life. I can spend an entire day sharing about those experiences, but I will leave that for another episode. Today let me just share about the why’s behind this podcast, something that I thought will be a great milestone to mark my 50th year. It was my golden birthday last March, so I thought I need to do something really significant to remember back when I get to my 60’s.
I came across Soul Rich Woman last year in November of 2019 when I attended a course called Soul Rich Woman Blueprint. I found out that one of the programs they have is this Instant Podcast Leader Program. I thought then - oh no, this is not for me. I am too busy at work to spend time on this and I do not have any interest of becoming a podcaster. It has never entered my mind, really. Then I became active as well in following Global Woman’s Club, an organization connecting and empowering women across the globe. These 2 women communities have ignited the desire in my heart to take action and contribute in my own way how to empower other women. But I have one challenge, I have very limited time fulfilling the demands of my full-time job and working on dreams.
Then one day when I was tidying up papers in my office desk, I came across this brochure from Global Woman Club again. While browsing if it is a paper I should discard or keep - the message of the founder stared back at me. Mirela Sula’s message is this — “to empower a woman, give her a microphone.” It was an aha moment for me - I do not have a voice in this personal development space, and I need to have that voice and be empowered to reach out to other women,
So I made the decision to do this podcast.
First it fits exactly what I wanted to do on my 50th birthday - do that one thing that will challenge me to get out of my comfort zone and learn something new about myself. This is exactly the push I need to start on something where I have zero knowledge, to make myself uncomfortable again. As I go through this with my podcast coach, I am learning things from scratch - from picking the right topics, making the content right and of value to the audience, the technicalities of how a microphone works properly during recording, how to talk properly with the right speed - including all the other hundred little things that I never was aware was important to make one episode. I am just starting but I keep learning new things about myself and relearning lessons about patience, commitment, courage.
Second, my mentor Genecia Alluora suggested doing a podcast to establish myself as a leader in the online space. I came to her for coaching because I wanted to do so many things, but I need to see results happen sooner than later. I am 50 and I do not have much time for trial and error on my own. And true enough, this podcast though I am still at the very early stage, has provided that platform for me to reach out to more women. It made it easier for me to be visible and to send this message to the world - Hello I am here, allow me to contribute to your success.
Third, I want this to be a legacy that I hope my children, and someday even my grandchildren and their children can listen to. There had been many instances in my life when I would stop and say “ I wish someone taught me this and told me about this early on when I was younger, I could have done it better then. I could have been more successful now.” So I want to be that person to tell them and equip them with lessons that could help them have a good start in living their own life while they learn their own lessons.
I believe that we don’t have to reinvent the wheel all the time. To achieve more we can listen to the experiences and model from people who have been there, done that, overcame the challenges and became successful. I am hoping that through this podcast, I will be able to contribute to your success too, in my own little way.
I would love to hear your feedback about my sharing, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my Facebook blog and other social media accounts. I am looking forward to having you again in my next episode.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com
TRANSCRIPT OF EP 1
TITLE: WHO AM I?
Introduction:
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
In this episode, I will be sharing with you my personal story and the events in my life that influenced me to be strong and independent.
Story 1:
I was born on the 7th of March 1970 in Manila, Philippines. I was raised as the youngest to a family of five children. My mother is a simple but strong lady who grew up in the rural areas in the Visayas region. In her teens, she left her family to have a better life and travelled to the city of Manila where she met and fell in love with my father, a Chinese businessman who was married. We grew up living a very comfortable life being the second family.
My first taste of how losing an important person can change your life in ways you have not imagined happened when I was 12. At the age of 49 my father died of pancreatic cancer. Our life started to change since then. A few years after that my Mom had to give up her job co-managing my father’s hardware stores and was left without anything but us 5 children. From a huge house having our own bedrooms, we moved into one of the poor areas in Metro Manila and lived in a very small house. It was a very different living environment from what we were used to. My Mother struggled hard to support us, but by the grace of God she was able to make ends meet until all of us finished our college degree.
Story 2:
I started working soon after my graduation. When I got licensed to practice my profession, I was hired immediately and was fortunate to work in one of the prestigious medical institutions in my country. This is where I met my husband. No time was wasted, we got married after 12 months.
As a young couple, we had simple dreams -- to have our own house and car, raise our 2 daughters well, travel when we can, and live happily till we get old together. But like the usual families, we also had our challenges as a married couple. In 2011, we made a decision that changed the course of our lives. I applied for a job and moved to Singapore.
Life away from home was a mix of good and bad for me. Good because I had more time to focus on my career advancement and was able to help my husband in improving our financial situation. Bad because living alone in a different country is not easy. Most of the time you get happy or sad alone, you are well or sick alone, and more often than not you would keep the bad happenings to yourself to avoid making your loved ones worry.
The heaviest weight in my heart is being away from my 2 daughters. I made a promise to myself that I will not miss a single important day in their lives even when I am not physically present everyday. Part of the agreement with my husband was that I should be seeing them 2 times in a month. My flight tickets every 2 weeks had been part of my non-negotiable monthly expenses from my salary, and I had to work really hard to make that happen.
My usual routine would be to fly out Friday evening and be there when they wake up on Saturday morning. I will do my Mommy and Wife duties of doing the groceries with them, cleaning the house, giving instructions to our helper, and getting everything in order for the next 2 weeks that I will be away. Then I will spend the rest of the hours till Sunday afternoon bonding with them. I will take the flight back early evening to arrive in Singapore during the early hours of Monday. So while everyone is refreshed back at work on Monday, I will be physically exhausted, sleepy but with the biggest smile. My weekend trips were my monthly dose of inspiration. This has been my way of life since I officially started to work in Singapore in January of 2011.
Story 3:
Fast forward to the 6th of May 2016, my husband was found dead at our family house. He suffered from brain aneurysm. We lost him so unexpectedly.
Up to this day, I continue to fly home every 2 weeks as much as I can to be with my daughters. The guilt of not being with them to help them cope with the loss of their Dad and adapt to the huge change in our lives was real everyday, but I also know our situation is different now. We all must be brave and move on. If there is any good thing that came out of my husband’s death, it is me being amazed everyday seeing them becoming matured and responsible, sometimes even more brave than I can be. I have lost a best friend in my husband, but gained 2 sources of strength in my 2 daughters.
3 KEY TAKEAWAYS:
At this point, I want to share the 3 most important lessons I learned:
First, we may find ourselves in a situation that is out of our control, but how we will react to that situation is within our control. I cannot choose the family I was born into. I can grow up feeling embarrassed about being an illegitimate child, blame my Mom and grow up rebellious when all of a sudden we became poor. But why should I? My family life may not be normal, and yes, we experienced days of eating only one kind of meal a day when my father died. But my Mom took responsibility and did her best to keep us together and give us the best education she can afford. She taught us values we may have not learned if we did not experience a hard life. We all grew up being responsible and strongly bonded as siblings with great respect to our Mother.
Second, our circumstances will push us to make difficult decisions. We can make that as an excuse or we can make that as a reason. Moving to Singapore, I had to sacrifice being away from my family in exchange for a better salary. I can choose to feel like I am the victim who is giving up a part of my life. But I have chosen to develop myself and learn new things. I found reason to pursue my passion and achieve my own dreams at the same time that I work hard to support my daughters to achieve theirs. I know I can never bring back time and reset my life. But I am making sure I will never regret any time lost between us.
Third, life is short, and everything can change in an instant. What we have now may be gone in the next second. My husband’s death has taught me the hardest lesson in my life - that is, never to wait. Since his death, I choose to enjoy everything now.
Conclusion:
At present I am working full-time in a senior management role with a multinational life insurance company. I continue to stay in Singapore which is now my second home. I have found an added purpose in my life, to be an instrument to inspire other women to live their best life everyday.
I hope that you were inspired by my story. I look forward to being with you in my next episode where I will be sharing with you the lessons I have learned from my unusual but very colorful childhood.
Call to action:
To know more about my community involvement, please check out my show notes and connect with me through my blog and social media accounts.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheisfabulous50
Instagram: maryann.favie_sheis.fabulous
Personal Blog: www.sheisfabulous.com