Michelle Norwood is a wedding planner based in New Orleans, Louisiana.

Topics We Covered Is it rude to seat guests where they cannot see the sweetheart table? How close is too close to the band for the couple to sit? What days should I reserve room blocks for a Sunday wedding? What kind of timeline and entertainment ideas make a difference in creating a unique event? Is it okay to ask guests to drive to the church? Do we need to provide transportation for the entire day?

Links We Referenced https://instagram.com/michellenorwoodevents https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/episodes/329-its-not-a-destination-wedding-for-me-but-it-is-for-my-guests https://michellenorwood.com/

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Ryan wrote a song that was inspired by Lexi, called "Worth It" and it is Ryan's love letter to the journey that led him to his soulmate. He says, "Through ups and downs, everyone has a story, and this one has a happy ending! It's a song about reflection, a song that says, even if you have to search a lifetime to find your soulmate, it’ll be worth it."

The music video features real, raw footage from Ryan's wedding at Kempa Villa in Palm Desert. The best part? Ryan planned the wedding himself. "I tried to plan everything around the things that she loves and also create a fun, energetic atmosphere because that’s what our lives are like in real life," he explains. "We didn’t want a super traditional wedding - we wanted everything to scream our personalities!"

Ryan and Michelle talk all about his new song, his wedding day, and all that went into throwing a party to celebrate their love.

Topics We Covered

Ryan’s Engagement at Epcot

Writing the song for his spouse, Alexa

Throwing parties

Destination wedding ideas

Deciding what matters in the spending

Setting priorities

Food and Cocktail trucks

Links We Referenced www.ryancabrera.com www.instagram.com/ryancabrera www.facebook.com/ryancabrera www.twitter.com/ryancabrera www.youtube.com/RyanCabreraVEVO www.youtube.com/ryancabreratv www.instagram.com/alexa_bliss_wwe_ "Worth It" Newest Wedding Anthem: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgqcmIRYqNQ Kempa Villa https://www.kempacollection.com/kempa-villa Bubble Tap Trailer https://taptrailerco.com/ Conscious Cocktails https://consciouscocktails.com/ Heavy Handed Food Truck https://heavyhanded.la/ Yamashiro Food Truck https://yamashirohollywood.com/ Ben & Jerry Food Truck https://www.benjerry.com/plano/catering/ice-cream-truck Gastro Garage Food Truck https://thegastrogarage.com/ Elle A Events https://www.elleaevents.com/

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

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Her dairy allergy started about 12 years ago and she has been navigating a life with severe food restrictions ever since. Her career and her life intersect perfectly as she works as the Senior Director of Communications for Food Allergy Research & Education, the nation’s leading nonprofit funder of food allergy research and advocacy.

Topics We Covered: Developing allergies as an adult What kind of allergies are there to consider? What kind of things someone with severe allergies has to consider on the day to day How to plan around allergies What to consider when booking your vendors Epi pens vs other injectors Wedding day emergency kits Considering access to emergency services, in case the worst case scenario does happen Making an emergency plan

Links We Referenced Foodallergy.org instagram.com/foodallergy

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

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Listener Kyra listened to every single episode of TBWPP in 4 months (from June 2021 and finished in October 2021). She was married on April 23, 2022. With no wedding planner, but lots of research, she pulled the day off like Superwoman! On today’s episode, she joins Michelle and shares her own Real Wedding Retrospective.

Things We Talked About

A Kentucky Destination wedding and all the logistics of travel and accommodations

Their Bourbon-Themed wedding

Florals

Renting the venue for the whole weekend

Giving options for where to stay

Clash of regional cultures

Non-Traditional meals

Dress code

Snafus in the process

Links We Referenced https://richwoodontheriver.com https://youngheartphoto.com https://somethingborrowedblooms.com

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

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Alisha designs handcrafted wedding veils, bridal capes, and accessories so that you walk down the aisle looking elegant and feeling special. She quit her job as a paralegal to take her wedding veil business full time because she believes that every woman deserves to walk confidently down the aisle in a handcrafted heirloom that is theirs to treasure and pass on.

Topics We Discussed

Veils in pop culture

The history of veils

Veil lengths

How royalty wears their veils

The five biggest wedding veil mistakes to avoid

How to DIY your own veil

Non-Traditional wedding veil styles

How to preserve your dress and veil

Care of the veil

Links We Referenced FREE MUST-HAVE RESOURCE FOR ELEGANT BRIDES -Request free veil swatches and the style guide at https://oneblushingbride.net/pages/contact-me http://www.oneblushingbride.net https://instagram.com/oneblushingbride https://www.facebook.com/OneBlushingBride/ https://youtube.com/c/OneBlushingBrideBridalAccessories

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Do YOU have a wedding planning question? Call and leave us a voicemail at 415-723-1625 -or- email us thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

Justine Carino is a licensed mental health counselor / psychotherapist with a private practice in White Plains, NY. No one is exempt from anxiety through wedding planning. How can we deal with it in the healthiest ways possible? Joining Michelle on this YAWA, Justine has wonderful tips, advice, and insight to make the whole process more peaceful.

Topics We Covered

Anxiety around spending

How to make a decision on the smaller things (the not-high-priority items)

The pressure to look GOOD on your wedding day

How to escape all the “shoulds”

Dealing with parental criticism and all the anxiety that comes along with it

How to wind down at the end of the day and stop planning

How to sleep when your mind is racing

How to deal with a parent who says they are not going to attend your wedding

Links We Referenced Are You A Perfectionist? (Pod Episode 309) Thoughts From The Couch https://www.carinocounseling.com/ The Path to Peace

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

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Living in Orlando, most of Brie’s guests will be flying or driving in from out of town. They talk about music, dancing, room blocks, welcome bags, welcome receptions, invitations, weather considerations, considerations for other big events happening in the area, and more.

Big Takeaways

Logistics of planning a destination wedding

Fun things to do for guests while in town

How to plan around guests traveling in for your wedding

Travel reservations for guests

Flights, room blocks, and other considerations

Links We Referenced Episode 290 - All About Travel, Honeymoons & Destination Weddings

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

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Michael’s family has been in the diamond industry for 4 generations, and he’s been in it for 15 years himself. Michael is a born and bred New Yorker who currently lives in Manhattan with his wife and two kids.

What We Discuss Engagement ring trends What’s a lab grown diamond? What compliments an engagement ring? Where to give and take on budget Wedding band trends What to look out for Jewelry rentals for your wedding day

Links We Referenced https://www.verstolo.com/

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Maybe you’re pregnant, your partner is in the military, there are limited options for timing… Whatever the reason, Jesse and Michelle have TIPS! Jesse Reing is a wedding planner that started her career in NYC. The very first wedding she planned was a destination wedding that she put together, and pulled off in just SIX weeks. She is the owner of the events and wedding planning company, Events By Jesse. She is a lifelong hospitality professional, getting her start in 5 star hotels and Michelin star restaurants, before opening her company 7 years ago. Jesse has a true passion bringing her clients visions to reality…the funkier and quirkier, the better!

Big Topics Covered

Choosing dates

Touring venues

Hiring planners

Using personal recommendations

The best way to send invites

Links We Referenced Eventsbyjesse.com Instagram.com/eventsbyjesse

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

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On this month’s episode of YAWA, Michelle is joined by returning co-host, wedding designer, planner, podcast host, expert of all things weddings - extraordinaire, Kelly McWilliams!

Questions Covered

Should it be a dealbreaker if a unique venue is missing some of the “essentials,” like a getting ready area?

How can I put my foot down with my Mother-In-Law?

How can I honor my father without following old, patriarchal traditions?

What do I do with unruly guests that might get out of hand around alcohol? Do I need to go dry?

Links We Referenced Episode 296 with Kelly McWilliams Kellymcwilliams.com Instagram.com/kellyamcwilliams Instagram.com/thisvsthatweddingpodcast Bettersway.com Wedding Planning Decision Presenting vs. Giving Away the Bride

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

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In the words of Deepak Chopra, "Theresa Cheung shows us that the way forward is to understand that consciousness/spiritual awareness is the fundamental ground of all experience" and Russell Brand has called her "mysterious, illuminating, kind and informative."

Questions We Answer Do our dreams mean anything? How can we use them to guide us in waking life? What if I constantly dream about wedding disasters? What are dreams, anyway?

Links We Referenced Theresacheung.com Theresa Cheung’s Instagram Theresa Cheung’s Dream Dictionary Theresa Cheung’s “Hot to Catch a Dream”

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

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Rony, of PeerSpace, developed a marketplace where you can book unique spaces for any event, including your big day! Rony Chammas is the Founder and Chief Product Officer of Peerspace. Rony came up with the concept of Peerspace as an MBA student at NYU Stern, and has been on a mission to give the world more choice and reason to meet, create, and celebrate together ever since.

Things You’ll Learn

How to find unique locations that you won’t find anywhere else

Finding an extraordinary venue within your budget

Simplifying the process of booking event spaces for your wedding

How to know if a venue is within your budget from the get go

Links We Referenced https://www.peerspace.com https://www.instagram.com/peerspace/ https://www.peerspace.com/resources/wedding-podcasts-2020/ https://madein.peerspace.com/space-for-change https://madein.peerspace.com/?ddc4ac96_page=3

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

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HAIR! Did you know that having a good hair style on your wedding day can improve your mood, the quality of your photos, and the overall glam you feel?

Celebrity Hair Stylist and Artistic Director for Color Wow, Joseph Maine has become a sought after hairstylist in NY and LA for red carpets, editorial shoots and glamorous weddings. He has worked with Jenifer Anniston, Kate Mckinnon, Sophia Bush, Priyanka Chopra and many more. More recently has become best known for his educational tutorials and inspirational videos on tiktok and allure.com.

Topics Covered

Celebrity hair stories

Joseph’s favorite everyday products you could go out and buy right now

Wedding hair trends

How to find a wedding day hair stylist

Tips for the timeline

Hair trials?

Links We Referenced josephmaine.com/about instagram.com/josephmaine Tiktok: joseph.maine https://colorwowhair.com https://olaplex.com

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is: Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. Edited by Veronica Gruba. Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode On Patreon, and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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In today's episode, Michelle talks with listener Lindsey who has a wedding coming up on October 21, 2022.

Michelle and Lindsey talk about all the things that Lindsey was either thinking about, needed to take care of, was considering, or decisions being made in the three months leading up to her wedding day.

There are so many tedious tasks that come in this last phase of wedding planning. It catches you off guard sometimes because in the middle phase, there is a lot to take care of and then you get it done. Then there is a lull time and you feel like... "shouldn't I have a lot going on right now?" You should use that lull time to make sure you are keeping up with things but you should also take it in and enjoy it because... The last phase of wedding planning is A LOT.

If you are in the last phase of wedding planning... you've got this! You are going to be walking down that isle soon with the love of your life, partying with your people!

Things You'll Learn on This Episode Changing your hair color Starting your facials Getting your fittings for your dress Expensive dress alterations Final meetings with vendors Strategizing when to have each meeting Family style dinner Sweetheart table vs. Head Table Bachelorette Party Weekend Escort Cards Seating Charts Showers!

Links We Referenced PLAN-IT! A LIVE Wedding Planning Bootcamp Lindsey Leardi on Tik Tok

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Do YOU have a wedding planning question? Call and leave us a voicemail at 415-723-1625 -or- email us thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

What if my fiance doesn’t want a wedding and won’t help plan? Is it a bad sign if my wedding photographer doesn’t have a contract? Darryl Moore of D’ Concierge Events joins Michelle to answer these questions and more on this month’s YAWA!

What you will learn on this episode

Ideas for alternative centerpieces for a lower budget

What should you be focusing on with only a couple months until the big day?

What to do if a vendor doesn’t have a contract

Dealing with an unenthusiastic fiancé

Making sure guests know it’s okay if they don’t come to the ceremony

Is it okay to ask guests to stay at a particular hotel and not bring gifts?

Links We Referenced Episode #310 with D Concierge Dconciergeweddings.com Withlovedconcierge.com

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

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What if that town doesn’t have uber or at least not reliable cabs? In this episode, Michelle is joined by a listener and future bride who needs a little guidance on setting up transportation for her big day.

How do you pick a transportation company? What should you ask them? Does it make sense to book them for the whole day?

Links We Referenced The Wedding Transportation Mini-Course

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

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Dr. Mekel Harris is a licensed psychologist and health services provider who specializes in grief and loss. While we hope and pray none of you have to deal with this while planning, Dr. Harris joins Michelle and listener Jamie to talk about tools and strategies to sort through grief at such an emotionally heightened and exciting time.

Big Takeaways Choosing not to share your grief can exacerbate your symptoms and the intensity of the feelings. Allowing people to show up for you, and telling them specifically what you need is so necessary in the coping and healing processes. It’s okay to ask a grieving person what they need. A wedding can be a beautiful time to memorialize those who are no longer with us, but do so in a way that will not feel too heavy or invasive of your happy day. Your loved ones would absolutely want your wedding to be a beautiful, happy celebration. It’s also okay to have sad moments. Life happens. Your feelings are valid.

Links We Referenced mekelharrisphd.com instagram.com/drmekel

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

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In this episode, Michelle is joined by Mark Groleau (of Unboring Weddings) to talk about why a rehearsal is a key, necessary part of the wedding.

Big Takeaways The whole reason you’re having a wedding is because you’re getting married! If you are going to have a ceremony, it’s crucially important to have a rehearsal. When you rehearse, you set yourself up for an incredibly successful day. Who wants to be figuring it all out at the last minute? It doesn’t have to feel mechanical, beautiful moments happen at rehearsals too. It's great for everyone to say hello, give hugs, and really enjoy reconnecting before the wedding.

Links We Referenced https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding (discount!) https://www.instagram.com/unboringwedding

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

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Joining Michelle is Jamie Wolfer: wedding planner, content creator, podcast host, and the ultimate wedding advice giver.

Hot Takes Addressed on the Ep

Are engagement rings a massive waste of money?

Do you even need a wedding party?

Nude-colored wedding dresses?

Cocktail style instead of a sit down dinner?

Why ban children?

Should you have a head table? What about sweetheart tables?

Are proposals even worth it?

Do we even want to dance?!

Is it on the couple to pay for the wedding party?

What if you just want a completely traditional wedding?

Should I worry about my guests that much or really make the day purely about us?

Are balloon arches tacky?

Can dry weddings be fun?

Do people only have big weddings because they want lots of wedding gifts?

Links We Referenced https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdAcY6YGgF-RgGYXTsOENbA https://www.instagram.com/wolferandco/?hl=en https://www.facebook.com/wolferandcompany https://www.wolferandco.com

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

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Questions Answered!

How to handle a registry (asking for charitable donations as well as wedding gifts) in a non-tacky way

RSVP deadlines for a destination wedding

Having a wedding officiant that’s a friend, and how to break it to your parents you’re not going the pastor route

What to do when a coordinator drops out last minute

Tips for tent weddings (fully outdoors/there are no inside spaces)

Links We Referenced https://luxurydestinationtravel.com jasonmitchellkahn.com instagram.com/mrjasonmitchell twitter.com/mrjasonmitchell facebook.com/jasonmitchellkahnandco Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Who doesn’t love to travel?! Michelle certainly loves it. Especially to Mexico City! In this episode, she shares some great travel tips to make your adventures as stress-free as possible.

What Is Covered

Medicine

Travel Viruses

Seeing doctors in other countries

Packing!

What clothes should you really bring?

Toiletries

What should go in your carry-on?

Sanitizing

Travel credit cards

Passports

TSA Pre-Check

Global Entry

Links We Referenced Michelle's Ultimate Travel Packing Amazon Shopping List Chase Sapphire Preferred Travel Rewards Credit Card TSA Precheck Global Entry Mobile Passport Control Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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A wedding should be alllll about you and your partner! When your guests leave, they should be smiling and thinking, “wow that was so them.” On this Real Wedding Retrospective, Delanie shares all about her unconventional, simple, and REAL wedding. From all vegan food, to flower people and bubble boys, to a magician, to her husband tossing the bouquet, this wedding was anything other than traditional.

Delanie Fischer is a Business Simplicity Coach, Professional Podcaster, and “influencer” turned social media free entrepreneur. She helps both new and established service providers build and scale minimalist businesses for more revenue AND free time.

Big Takeaways If you have a lot of single friends at the wedding, try a co-ed bouquet toss. It’s a fun way for everyone to see each other. Delanie recommends bringing your own coordinator to the venue she used, and not using the venue’s coordinator. The rest of the venue staff was great!

Topics: Vegan Menu Planning - how to suss out whether the venue chef can make a delicious plant based menu before booking COVID rescheduling and elopement No kid wedding! Roasts instead of toasts Going overtime with the bar Unique touches to the big day

Links We Referenced delaniefischer.com https://www.westlakevillageinn.com https://www.instagram.com/selfhelplesspodcast/ https://flowermoxie.com https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/episodes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It can be very hard to find worthwhile options for the non-traditional bride. We all want to find something really special and that actually fits our desires for the wedding day. There are beautiful, unique options out there though, you just have to know where to look!

Madison Chamberlain is a Fashion Designer who focuses on creating non traditional gowns and accessories for the unique bride/client. After years designing in the fashion industry, Madison took a leap and left to start her own business where she could focus on being inclusive and sustainable while designing beautiful pieces. She believes fashion should be playful and fun and bring the utmost joy to the wearer!

Big Takeaways Custom dresses/wedding garments don’t have to mean $20,000. It is actually very much in line with a typical off-the-rack dress. Also, with off-the-rack, you almost always will have to get alterations. For Madison, she starts at $2,500 and it can change with complexity and cost of materials. In the end, you leave with a custom made, fits-like-a-glove piece. Everyone deserves to feel their very very best in their wedding day garments. No matter your body size, your shape, your emotions, a custom piece can make you feel like royalty.

Links We Refenced Madisonchamberlain.com instagram.com/madisonchamberlain_ https://candicecuoco.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Our monthly episode of You Ask, We Answer; where we take time to listen to our audience’s questions, select top trending picks, and answer them on the show. This month Michelle's co-host is an extra special, familiar voice, Christy Matthews!

Question 1: My fiancé’s grandma used to yodel professionally. Yes - not singing, but yodeling. She’s in her 90s now and definitely misses her yodeling career. She yodels at every opportunity when she leaves the house.

I am worried that she will try to steal the show at our wedding. There will be lots of new faces for her - a fresh audience. I know that it would mean a lot to my fiancé if we have her perform a song. And I think 1 song would be acceptable, but how do I draw (and enforce) the line?

Question 2: Do you have any suggestions for something casual in terms of welcome drinks and also something casual to say goodbye at the end of the weekend?

Question 3: I’m dealing with something very difficult for my January 14 wedding. My older sister who I always assumed would be one of my maid/matrons of honor told me 3 weeks ago that she didn't want to be in the wedding and she thought it should just be me and my friends. We have a hard relationship, 8 years apart, and this was sad and hurtful to me.... Then last week she called to tell us that she’s pregnant with her third baby! This is exciting... but her due date it January 13- the day before my wedding She lives in Texas and I’m in Florida so this means she wouldn’t be able to even attend, no flower girls, and I’m so happy for her but heartbroken at the same time because I can’t picture my wedding without her. I would ask what I can do- but I think most of it is out of my control at this point. Any thoughts? (Rescheduling isn’t an option)

Question 4: I’m struggling with how to tell a girl who I’m not close with that she isn’t in the bridal party. She’s made so many assumptions that she is and references to bridesmaid dresses and it’s just incredibly uncomfortable. She got mad at me for not inviting her when I went dress shopping. I’m a people pleaser so I was tempted to just include her, but her personality is not one I want around me on my special day (she will still be a guest). I know I can’t tell her over text- but don’t know if it’s better to tell her via phone call or in person.

Question 5: My fiance and his mother are not very close. His brother’s wedding anniversary is a week before our wedding. His mother wants us to dedicate a song to them. We will not be doing that. I want to reach out to her and let her know that we will not be dedicating our wedding to them. I know this may sound mean, but I know this woman and she will keep pushing unless I set boundaries. What do you think? Should I just ignore it? Or say something?

Question 6: When is the bridal/wedding shower held? I've seen and heard everything from 2 months to 5 months before the wedding date. Does the timeframe even matter?

Question 7: My maid of honor, or Best Woman as she prefers to be called, just turned 22 (6 year age difference) and doesn't have the finances nor health to plan our wedding shower. Normally, I would say our mom could plan it with her. However, our mom has been acting very erratically the past 2 years and has already caused issues with the wedding planning process. My fiance's mom might be willing to plan the shower but that would cause my fiance a different type of stress and my mom would still hijack the shower planning process to have it HER way. I am a people pleaser and one of my friends already gave me encouragement not to settle on my priorities and decisions out of the false hope it would make wedding planning easier. Does that apply to wedding showers? Do brides regret a wedding shower in which they didn't have a voice? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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How do you want to look on your wedding day? Are you thinking of changing your hair? Are you going to spray tan? Do you want to hire a hair and makeup artist? What about skin treatments? In this episode we cover all things beauty that you need to know in preparation of your wedding. Emily Edgar has been a professional makeup artist for over 10 years working all over the industry. Having been trained in Paris, France with the top European makeup academy and worked in the iconic New York City beauty scene – she has seen and done a lot! In addition to her on-set experience, she spent 3 years teaching the skills of makeup artistry to new artists and beauty enthusiasts alike at the Make Up For Ever Academy in NYC. Like the true professional she is, Emily provides endless tips, tricks and product recommendations, making her and the Bride's Guide to Beauty a valuable resource for individuals of any skill level.

Big Takeaways

While there is truly zero requirement to do any of the beauty tips recommended in this episode, we wanted to give some hot tips from a professional make-up artist on how to look your most polished on your wedding day. It is important to remember that sometimes you can overdo it too, you want to feel like yourself in your pictures when you look back. Ultimately, you want to feel comfortable in your skin.

When you’re looking for your hair and make-up people, consider if you would feel good spending a lot of time with them. You absolutely want to be surrounded by people who support you and help you feel calm as you are preparing for the ceremony.

There is often no time to have a trial before booking a make-up artist, so when searching there are some things to look out for. Do a google search, find them on big wedding sites, see how they appear and what they share on multiple platforms. They should have a professional site. Think about how they are responding to your emails, are they respecting your time?

Remember that your vendor team and your planner are great resources!

Vet your practitioners! If they haven’t been practicing for a long time, it might not be the best option before your wedding. Someone with a great portfolio and recommendations goes a long way.

When deciding your wedding style, consider how you want to mesh the inspiration you find and the styles you love with your personal daily beauty/style. Think about what it is in the pictures you found that you really like. Is it their skin texture? The lip color? The hair? Consider the details.

Links We Referenced The Bride's Guide to Beauty (Use promo code BIGWEDDING for $100 off) Emily Edgar Makeup Bride's Guide to Beauty on IG Emily Edgar Makeup on IG

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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You will be inspired by listening to celebrity wedding planner, Darryl Moore of D’ Concierge Events share awesome stories, experiences and advice. Darryl has been featured in Vogue, Munaluchi Bride, Brides, The New York Times and more. What we love about Darryl is that even though he has planned some celebrity weddings, he still loves working with the “everyday bride”. What you will learn on this episode

Advice on hiring a planner

How Darryl advocates diversity for his clients and his colleagues

LOTS of design tips

How to stop overspending on things that have little impact

Darryl’s theory on accessorizing your dining tables

What to do when you like too many colors for your wedding

How to use the color black in your wedding design - it’s always timeless look

How to ensure cohesiveness with your wedding design

Some of the celebrity weddings Darryl has worked on - Danielle Brooks!

Links We Referenced http://dconciergeweddings.com https://www.withlovedconcierge.com Instagram handle: d.concierge

Quotes “If you’re going to have a preferred vendors list, there should be some diversity.” - Darryl Moore “When it comes to instagram and social media, I don’t really follow other event planners and that’s not a competition thing. My inspiration really comes from home interior, fashion magazines, and travel magazines, because I feel like that’s kinda where the trends start.” - Darryl Moore “And that’s all that matters to me, you know. Like the girl that has the wedding of her dreams. That’s all that matters to me and getting married and having the, ya know marrying her prince charming. That’s, in the end, that’s what matters. Everything else does not.” - Darryl Moore The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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We are all perfectionists in some way, shape or form. Planning a wedding can certainly heighten our perfectionist tendencies. And while we all know that wedding planning can be overwhelming, guess what? Overwhelm causes procrastination! Our guest on this episode is going to give some tips on how to avoid these tendencies and procrastination and set you on the right track. Our guest is Nicole Baker. Nicole is a Coach who helps perfectionists not only set goals, but actually follow through on them. Having grown up in a family immersed in the personal development world, she has been attending seminars and absorbing personal growth tools her whole life. She has since helped hundreds of perfectionists accomplish goals ranging from starting their own businesses, to starting and staying committed to a morning routine. She has been featured in Authority Magazine, Thrive Global, The Self Helpless Podcast and The Mighty plus is the CEO of Life Coach Baker LLC and the host of The Life Coach Baker Podcast.

Nicole’s 3 types of perfectionists:

The Overachiever: Sees the very high peak goal and thinks they need to have reached it yesterday

The Procrastinator: Gets overwhelmed and then distracted. Puts things off until they are “motivated”.

The People Pleaser: Do not trust their own voice and put others on a pedestal

Nicole's tips for perfectionists:

Slow Down

Find a mantra you can come back to that helps calm you down and bring you back into yourself.

Trust your own voice.

Listen to a personal development podcast that helps center you.

Read a good personal development book.

Hire a therapist, coach, or mentor.

Start that inner work.

Start at step one, and move one step at a time.

Links We Referenced Nicole's Podcast Take the Quiz! What type of perfectionist are you? Nicole on Instagram: @lifecoachbaker Peerspace Quotes: “Are you teaching people how to be perfect, Nicole?” - Michelle “I’m doing the opposite. I’m like let’s be messy, let’s release control, let’s take action and not feel like it has to be perfect.” - Nicole “Overachiever - hella motivated, very, very good at getting shit done. Procrastinator - they’re really good at dreaming. Procrastinators are phenomenal at saying, ‘I want this type of life.’ It’s just the follow through that they have issues with. And then people pleasers - they’re so empathetic. They love to care about other people’s feelings, which is definitely a trait to be admired. However, when it comes at the cost of your own voice, that’s when it’s the issue.” - Nicole “And the biggest thing about slowing down, it’s not like going and laying on your couch and watching Netflix, unless that’s your jam. It’s all about slowing down your mind and getting present, because if we’re not present for our life, why are we working so hard to build it?” - Nicole

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Author Georgia Clark returns to talk Summer Reading 2022! Last year, she was a guest on episode #253 Summer reading 2021. It was such a fan fave, that we wanted her back to give us more!

Georgia hosts a live storytelling show called, “Generation Women,” in NYC, where she live’s with her “hot wife”, Lindsay and baby girl Rozella, born on 2/27/22 at 12:22.

Georgia's summer book recommendations

1 Seven Days in June by Tia Williams

Romance (rom-dram)
Best seller. Paperback out in June 2022
Epic love story between 2 black writers
A sexy, joyful, dark, gritty, star-crossed lovers tale set in Brooklyn, NY.

2 Ghosts by Dolly Alderton

Coming of age/fiction
Dolly’s first novel
After saying ‘I love you,’ Nina’s boyfriend ghosts her.
First person narrative

3 The Wedding Crasher by Mia Sosa

Contemporary rom-com
Follow up to “The Best Worst Man” by Sosa
Centers the fake-relationship trope

4 Call Me By Your Name by Andrew Aciman

Throwback classic romance
The book that the movie was based on!
Story of young love between a teenage boy and a summer guest at his parent’s home in Italy

5 I Kissed Shara Wheeler by Casey McQuiston

Queer young adult
Author of Red, White, and Royal-Blue
Centered around a prom queen that goes missing

6 Island Time by Georgia Clark!

Queer ensemble rom-com
Set in Georgia’s home country of Australia
A 3-day trip turns into a 6-week experience due to a volcanic explosion

In case you missed it last year: It Had To Be You by Georgia Clark - Great read for the wedding planning process

Links We Referenced georgiaclark.com generationwomen.us Georgia on Instagram: @georgialoclark

Quotes “I have never really read a book that so beautifully and expertly charts the feeling of first love in the way that it’s so full of desire and passion, but also obsession, you know, even anger. The spark that exists between these two men just leaps off the page.” - Georgia (on Call Me By Your Name) “I got married in 2019 and that’s when I started writing this book because I realized that wedding planning was no joke. It’s really tough. It also just brought up so much stuff for us.” - Georgia (on her new book, Island Time) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Michelle is joined by Chanler & Lauren of The Pop Apologists Podcast on this very fun episode where they review many weddings in pop culture. Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker start us off!

Weddings covered on this episode: Kourtney Kardashian & Travis Barker #Kravis Danielle Brooks & Dennis Gelin Kim Kardashian & Kanye West Cardi B & Offset Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie

Links @popapologists on Instagram Listen to the Pop Apologists on Apple Podcasts or any podcast player you like! Chanler on Instagram: @chancuterie Lauren on Instagram: @laurenbledsoe

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Our monthly episode of You Ask, We Answer; where we take time to listen to our audiences questions, select top trending picks, and answer them on the show. This month Michelle's co-host is Megan Gillikin. Megan is a wedding planner, podcast host and career coach (to planners).

Questions In This Episode

My fiancé's brother got married last year (eloped with only us present). Last weekend, he asked my fiancé "Do you ever think you ended up with the wrong person?" Yikes! How often do you see family photos taken without the spouses of siblings?

I got engaged in October 2021 to my partner of 4 years. It was magical and amazing. I am part of a friend group consisting of 4 other girls and their partners. One girl who I’m not as close with, was waiting for her boyfriend to propose and was upset when I got engaged. She didn’t congratulate me, and we spent a girls trip we went on shortly thereafter consoling her while she cried. Can I not invite her to my wedding?

How to make the reception flow when there is no ceremony?

3 weeks from my wedding! What am I forgetting?

I am knee deep in designing my dream engagement ring, and my partner is excited for me and so supportive, so I should feel nothing but joy... but part of me still feels a tinge of sadness knowing that the ring itself, or when it's being shipped to us will not be a surprise like I had always hoped. How can we retain some element of magic and surprise around the proposal when I'm so intimately involved in the process already (and will always think every outing could be the big day)?

I’m trying to decide on a San Diego based wedding planner but for one’s price point for partial planning package ($4750) is more than others price point for full planning package ($4200). It seems like a no brainer since we like both planners but with the full we are getting more. Advice for comparing packages and prices?

Links We Referenced https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com https://asouthernsoiree.com/ https://www.theplannersvault.com/ instagram.com/plannersvault

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The amount of things that went wrong for this couple while wedding planning is almost unbelievable! From being victims of a ponzi scheme, to COVID reschedules, to their wedding planner being banned from their 3rd venue (yes, you read it right, 3rd venue), to the Maid Of Honor quitting...and that's not even the half of it.

Elliot Olson is a wife, dog mom, fitness and food enthusiast, and implementation consultant from the Kansas City area. She’s passionate about diversity and equality, vegan food, and her two adorable pups. In her free time, she loves to check out local coffee shops, go on walks around her neighborhood, watch chick flicks, and force Kenny to join her on all the above. Elliot and Kenny were legally wed on March 21, 2020, and they celebrated on March 19, 2022. Along the way, they hit every snag you could think of through the process of planning from day one.

"I may not have had the best luck wedding planning, but I had the best luck in finding my partner" ~ Elliot (soooooo sweet and in love)

Links We Referenced https://www.loveandcoevents.com/ instagram.com/loveandcoevent https://www.bstratbuckerphoto.com/ instagram.com/bstratphotofa12 https://www.dutzelscatering.com/ instagram.com/dutzelscatering https://28event.com/ instragram.com/28event https://www.elbowchocolates.com/ instagram.com/alyacevedophotography

We are able to produce this podcast because of YOUR support. Become a Patron, you'll get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month. Learn More: Patreon Page.

Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class. A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle.

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is...

Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.

Edited by Veronica Gruba.

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics.

On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!

Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.

Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode

On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Michelle and guest Julie Roth Novack of PartySlate, give you all of the hard facts, pro tips and tricks of the process of finding and securing your wedding venue. About our guest: Julie Roth Novack is the CEO and Co-Founder of PartySlate. She brings over 20 years of digital experience overseeing global and national teams. Prior to PartySlate, Julie led the Sales and Services team at Vibes, a mobile marking SAAS company. Links We Referenced Julie on Instagram (instagram.com/juliepartyslate/) PartySlate (https://www.partyslate.com) Houzz (https://www.houzz.com/) Doodle (https://doodle.com/en/) Episode #296 All About Home Weddings with David Tutera (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/episodes/296-all-about-home-weddings-with-david-tutera) Episode #182 Venue Owner Tells All (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/episodes/182-venue-owner-tells-all?rq=venue) Episode #201 Five Venues Across The Country As We Reopen (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/episodes/201-five-venues-across-the-country-as-we-reopen) Michelle’s YouTube video about venues (https://youtu.be/SIp3q-T8_CY) We're able to produce this podcast because of YOUR support. If you want to learn more, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). If you become a Patron, you'll get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month. Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!

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Ok, so now we need to worry about scams while wedding planning? Seriously? Who knew? We don’t want to freak you out. We want to bring these things to your attention, so you are aware they are out there and provide some info on how you can protect yourself. There are so many tips in this episode. Not only during wedding planning, but best practices for protecting yourself from identity theft, credit card theft and so many scams. Adam K. Levin is a nationally recognized expert on cybersecurity, privacy, identity theft, fraud, and personal finance and has distinguished himself as a fierce consumer advocate for the past 50 years. Former Director of the New Jersey Division of Consumer Affairs, Levin is the founder of CyberScout and co-founder of Credit.com. He is author of the critically acclaimed book Swiped and host of the podcast What the Hack with Adam Levin (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-the-hack-with-adam-levin/id1571482669). Wedding Scams To Be Aware Of Fake vendors Counterfeit dresses Fake honeymoon packages Fake registries Fake Charities & Group donations Links Adam on Instagram: @adamklevin Adam's website: https://adamlevin.com/ Adam's podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-the-hack-with-adam-levin/id1571482669 Adam's book: https://www.amazon.com/Swiped-Yourself-Scammers-Phishers-Identity-ebook/dp/B012271LV0/ref=sr11?crid=YPUV3NOBRI6F&keywords=swiped+adam+levin&qid=1649897301&sprefix=swiped%2Caps%2C174&sr=8-1 https://loudtreemedia.com/ https://www.annualcreditreport.com/index.action https://www.charitynavigator.org/ Quotes "Never trust. Always question. Always verify" - Adam K. Levin “There are a lot of websites that are fabulous and you can see a wide array of opportunities there, in terms of dresses. But if a dress seems just way too inexpensive to be real, it probably is. So, you could buy it and it shows up, and let’s say it shows up 3 or 4 weeks before the wedding, and it is a knock off what you thought you were getting.” - Adam K. Levin “It’s always important to check with the concierge at the hotel you’re staying at to make sure you’re making the right move. Now listen, a lot of these hotels, their people are getting a bit from different attractions that you can go to. But at the same point, I would still rather go to a concierge at a hotel that I trusted, then to say ‘oh this looks fun, interesting, and I’ve never heard of this before.’ There may be a reason why.” - Adam K. Levin “Remember, when you’re telling people where you are, you’re telling people where you’re not.” - Adam K. Levin We're able to produce this podcast because of YOUR support. If you want to learn more, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). If you want to become a Patron (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast), and get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)! A giant thank you to all of our Patrons, who help keep this podcast running! Learn more by checking out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!

Swiped: How to Protect Yourself in a World Full of Scammers, Phishers, and Identity Thieves

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People jump into wedding planning without really getting themselves set up for success. Planning a wedding is a lot like taking on a second part time job where you’ll be spending hundreds of hours planning, in addition to all the other things you already have going on in your life, at work, with family and more. Which is why, this special episode is all about guiding you toward the smoothest planning road possible. Today's show is hosted as a solo episode with Michelle, who knows a lot, and we mean a lot, about wedding planning. She’s not just giving you freebie checklists or sharing her favorite amazon must reads. You’ll learn exactly what to do now that you’ve embarked on the journey of planning your special day. Get ready to take notes, to listen, and to learn! Big Takeaways: This is what you should do BEFORE you get started with wedding planning tools. Planning a wedding is like taking on a freelance gig, except you aren’t getting paid. You are going to start reaching out to new types of services, vendors, stores, going to wedding shows, but after the wedding is over, you won’t have much need to keep in touch with any of these businesses or services, so you’ll want to be sure that your forever accounts are not being used for the wedding. Trust me. After the wedding, you will move on to other life events, so you may even want to repeat some of these tips in another year or so… When you start your wedding planning journey, my wish for you is that it you are able to focus. I want your Planning process to be * Fun * Smooth * And memorable for all the right reasons My 5 tips to get you set up and organized for your wedding planning journey.

1 - New Email Address for the wedding only - I recommend signing up for a Google.

You have a personal email, you have a work email, now you have a wedding email. When you’re done with wedding planning, you can close it.
Only check it at certain times. Keeps you focused at work if you do.
When you sign up on wedding websites for discounts, you won’t be spammed in your other email inboxes.
It comes with Google Drive - all the tools you need - sheets, docs, slides.
It comes with Google Calendar.
This is your wedding planning calendar and you will both see what is coming up and be able to set up meetings, calls, etc…
Go in and block times that you cannot do wedding related activities.
Include Vacations
Work travel
Weekly meetings that you each have for work.
Work hours *#2 - Google Voice *
Google Voice is a free service. A single phone number that you can call or text from. I have the app on my iPhone and it rings from there. You can set up a voicemail outgoing message as well. You can set up a Google Voice account on either your computer or mobile device, and immediately begin placing domestic and international calls, or sending texts.
Privacy - You don’t have to give your personal number to potential vendors at a wedding expo. You may sign up for a discount that is only given if they can send you text messages.
Keeps your personal or work phone clear of wedding communication. Again, this is another way to keep things organized

3 - Social Media Accounts

Helps keep your personal or business feed free of wedding related content. Remember, once the wedding is over, you won’t need to be seeing this stuff anymore. You can move on to your next life event.
DM’ing may start happening with vendors too.
Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Tik Tok, Pinterest…

4 - Weekly wedding planning sessions

Talking about your wedding planning tasks all the time is no good for your relationship. Do yourselves a favor and keep notes on items that need to be covered for your scheduled wedding planning meetings.
They may change to bi-weekly once all vendors are hired and you are in your lull phase of planning.
Keep your life organized. Wedding Wednesdays?
Add standing meetings to your google calendar.

5 - Priorities

It’s time to talk about what is important to each of you when it comes to the wedding. This is going to drive every decision you make AND influence your wedding budget.
This is an exercise for you. Each of you does this first part alone. No influence from your partner. Scale of 1-10
To get a free PDF of this exercise, go to www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/priorities (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/priorities) *Now you are ready to start wedding planning! * Choose the resources that work best for you. There are many free wedding planning tools available online, books to purchase, organizers, etc.. You can even use a project management system that businesses use like Asana, Monday or Trello. My recommendation? My Master Class of course!! Links we referenced! Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com) Sign up for a free personal google account here: https://accounts.google.com/signup/v2/webcreateaccount?flowName=GlifWebSignIn&flowEntry=SignUp (https://accounts.google.com/signup/v2/webcreateaccount?flowName=GlifWebSignIn&flowEntry=SignUp) www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/priorities (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/priorities) - Free PDF Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is...
Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.
Edited by Veronica Gruba.
Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/).
On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!
Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.
Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode
On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!

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Our monthly episode of You Ask, We Answer; where we take time to listen to our audiences questions, select top trending picks, and answer them on the show. This month we've got co-host Mark Allan Groleau joining Michelle as a special co-host. Mark is a professional full time wedding officiant and a trainer of officiant and celebrants all over the world as he helps to teach others how to officiate an unboring ceremony! Mark and Michelle dive into your most sought after questions, and answer questions ranging from 'two languages and two religions', all the way to officiating 'non religious weddings'. Listen in and get ready to learn! Question #1: I have a question regarding losing trust in a wedding vendor, specifically my wedding planner. There have been a handful of communication issues between myself and our wedding planner that have caused me to doubt our selection in wedding planners. Can anything be done at this point? Our wedding is in 7 months, and we do really like our planner personality wise and vibe well enough, but I really need these communication issues to be fixed. I'm paying for full planning services and feel I shouldn't have this anxiety of needing to check my planner's progress or follow up on things. We've already brought it up once a few months back, so bringing it up again will be the 2nd time. Is it too much for me to ask to be copied on emails she sends to our vendors regarding our wedding? Answer #1: It sounds absolutely necessary to need to bring this up a second time. The planner is supposed to help relieve stress and planning weight from the couple, not cause more. There is NO reason you should not receive a response of some kind within 24 hours, even if the response is just them saying they will get back to you. It sounds like this planner has taken on more than they can chew. Be straight forward with your needs to them, in a tactful way. Email them to set up an appointment, and talk about these needs with them in person. Express your feelings and needs. Question #2: Ceremony readings that aren’t religious? Also, ideas for a unity ceremony that aren’t super cheesy or overdone (like the sand mixing)? Answer #2: Mark doesn’t love readings at a ceremony. A bit boring. Any reading should come from you, a book that you love, a poem that means something to the two of you, song lyrics. A new trend is mixing a cocktail they couple loves and taking the shot. It’s fun and fresh! Scottish Quaich is a fun one. A bowl w/ 2 handles and whiskey - Google it Unity ceremonies hand-fasting, sand ceremony, unity candles, don’t have to be cheesy or boring if explained in the right way. Question #3: I’m using Unboring wedding academy and my moms best friends are our officiants. Having 2 officiants instead of just 1? Any advice or tricks? Answer #3: Naturally choose a section for each officiant to read, how you met, the first date, the proposal, vows, ring exchange - each step forward to the mic for each section Question #4: I’m not changing my name so at the end of the ceremony what should they say instead of “the new mr and mrs. blank”? Answer #4: First name and First name as “husband and wife” or whatever title you are more comfortable. Maybe name and name are married! Question #5: Considering asking a friend to be an officiant. How do we go about asking? Should we pay for their certification/license? Answer #5: Bring the to dinner, drinks, ask them. Keep it simple. Also some great Tik Tok videos on fun ways to do this. Yes, you should definitely at least cover their costs to be your officiant. You should definitely check out Mark’s digital course Unboring! Wedding Academy Question #6: How to go about choosing an officiant when you’re not a part of a church? Answer #6: Look online for a professional officiant or vendor list from your venue, or recommendations from friends or relatives Question #7: How to tell your parents that you don’t want to use their pastor? Answer #7: Be firm. They need to hear this is not what you want for your wedding. Question #8: Ways to make the ceremony more personalized to you and your fiancé? Answer #8: A personable officiant that personalizes your ceremony is the best. YOUR story is the key to this. Dating, proposal, what do you love about each other, what do others love about you? Question #9: Best way to incorporate 2 religions or 2 languages? Answer #9: 2 languages can be every word in equal time or certain sections in each language. Question #10: What suggestions do you have for an officiant in a ceremony with cultural elements that not all guests may be familiar with? (I.e. Chinese Tea Ceremony, jumping the broom, Filipino sponsors, Areas, etc.) Answer #10: If there are specific rituals involved, the officiant should explain it. The history, the cultural importance, what it means to the couple or the family. Explain what is happening next and why we are doing it. Question #11: What’s a good thank you gift for your female officiant who is a friend? Answer #11: WHAT you gift is personal and up to you. Think about how much you would pay a professional and spend either as much or close to it if possible. Everyone loves a good gift card! Question #12: What should your officiant wear? Answer #12: Dress classic. Suit is great for ANYONE. A nice dress. Not flashy, never outshine the couple. Colors should not clash with the wedding florals Question #13: When/how do they enter the ceremony? Answer #13: Mark’s fave. Enter before the processional and address the guests and make any announcements OR enter with the Groomsmen prior to the main processional. Question #14: How does an officiant approach “housekeeping details” like asking everyone to silence their phones or to stick around for a group photo when the couple recesses down the aisle, etc Answer #14: Say it right before the processional starts Question #15: Where is the best place to fit a handfasting ceremony into the larger wedding ceremony? Answer #15: Usually after the vows and before the ring exchange. The couple will need to get their hands out easily to do the ring exchange, so tie the ribbon loose. Some people like it tied tight, so they do it after the ring exchange and keep hands tied during the kiss and then you untie. Question #16: My officiant said he doesn’t come to the rehearsal!! What do we do? Answer #16: This is not ideal, but... If you have a planner or month of coordinator, that person will run the rehearsal. If you don’t have a planner, then you or someone else will need to run the rehearsal. Links We Referenced https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com) https://unboringwedding.com (https://unboringwedding.com) Mark's no stranger to the podcast so if you haven't heard him previously head back to: Episode #150 (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/episodes/lldfynmtsgmhlebukhmm4tntpklah4) - Will you Marry Us Episode 241 (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/episodes/p3v0phpfbqrhy29t3jx3g11ungwb12) - The Big Wedding Planning Masterclass. A special thank you to our sponsors of this episode: Zola - They have everything you need all in one place! Visit zola.com/bigwedding (https://welcome.zola.com/allproducts_alldevices_50/?pkey=bigweddingpod&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=bigwedding&) Flower Moxie.com (https://flowermoxie.com)Use code BigWeddings for $25.00 off your purchase! We're able to produce this podcast because of YOUR support. If you want to learn more, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). If you want to become a Patron (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast), and get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)! A giant thank you to all of our Patrons, who help keep this podcast running! Learn more by checking out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month! Special Guest: Mark Allen Groleau.

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Woot Woot! Today we are celebrating 300 Episodes of The Big Wedding Planning Podcast! We’re toasting this milestone with guests Rosie and Will. Wedding planning clients of Michelle, the couple was married in October of 2021. Their wedding happened just as Covid restrictions were lifting, which surprisingly brought its own unique set of challenges. Rosie and Will chat with Michelle today about what they learned, share advice on what they might have done differently, and reflect on the moment that brought them together for a lifetime. Big Takeaways * There were about 86 guests in attendance. Most of the wedding took place outside, at a family friend’s house. * In regards to covid precautions, they only required a negative covid test. * The caterer had been used by a family member before so they felt confident booking them. Challenges and Tips * Unfortunately, their catering company was sold during the pandemic and sadly the couple has yet to receive their deposit back. * Even under pressure, do your due diligence. * Family style food was a cost-savings for the couple. * Make sure you and your partner are on the same page with timing throughout your wedding day. * Rosie and Will purchased their own alcohol and ended up with way more than they needed. * The pair purchased spirits as well as beer and wine, but waited until after dinner to put the spirits out. A great cost savings tip * Their favors were custom matches. * Rosie's father has passed away. So to honor him, they lit candles at the beginning of the ceremony for him and Will's grandparents. It was a symbolic way of feeling their presence at the wedding. * They tried to save money on lighting and ultimately wish they had paid a professional to do the lighting for them. * Be thoughtful about where you seat your elderly family members. * Upon reflection, the pair wishes they had done a first look. * If Rosie could go back, she would have purchased a second dress for post wedding ceremony festivities. * Remember to find time to eat. The day goes by quickly. Links We Referenced danipadgettweddings.com (https://danipadgettweddings.com) culinaryeye.com (https://culinaryeye.com) Quotes “I’m sure you have many episodes on this. Planning comes in phases, right? Like first is you’re all stressed out trying to find the vendors. Then you book the vendors, and for awhile it’s kinda like pretty mellow, like you’re doing a couple of things here and there. But then like two months out from the wedding is - like whoosh - just so much to do. So I’m sure like when things were high pressure it was stressful. But I feel like Will was involved in the things he really cared about, and super helpful around those times and just let me run with everything else.” - Rosie “Just enjoy it. Enjoy the ride. Don’t get too stressed out. It’s gonna, I think Michelle you said this a lot, it’s gonna happen the way it happens. It’s out of your control the second that the day kicks off. And so you just go with it. And at the end of the day, all you remember is it was the best day of your life and it was so fun. I just kept saying ‘I want to do it all over again, can we plan a ten year anniversary party?’” - Rosie Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!

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“Don’t get married! Don’t do it!” Those were the words of advice our guest of today’s podcast used to share with his friends and family. As one of Atlanta’s award winning Divorce attorney’s, Aaron Thomas, a graduate of Harvard Law School, has spent years working with couples during the painful side of marriage, watching them come to an end. Today, Aaron is happily married himself and no longer advocates against getting married, he does however, offer uplifting and positive advice for the consideration of prenups when planning a wedding. Michelle's discussion with Aaron, helps demistify why prenups get a bad reputation and how they can be a useful tool for couples who want to start their financial relationship in an intentional, transparent, and fair way. Big Takeaways Three Things that lead to a successful financial relationship: 1. Transparency Disclose all your assets and debts when you come in. 2. Communication Make agreements on certain spending habits. For instance, Aaron and his spouse communicate any time they are going to spend over $500. 3. Fairness Buckets of spending are important. For instance, asking about spending that $500 is only when it is coming from the couple spending bucket. Then each person has their own account as well. If things do come to an end, can we handle it in a way that treats both of us fairly and kindly? Even if you never get divorced, having a pre-nup can do wonders for your relationship. In setting up the agreement, both people must lay out their entire financial situation, and this creates a vulnerability and understanding of each other that may never otherwise come. The pre-nup doesn’t just have to be about what happens if the marriage ends, you can add in comments about how money is spent and handled DURING the marriage. Creating budgets helps the couple experience things together on equal footing. You can create a pre-nup after getting married, it’s actually called a post-nup! If you can’t add the pre-nup in right now, at least have the conversation. Talk to your partner about your finances! Links We Referenced prenups.com (https://prenups.com) aaronthomaslaw.com (https://www.aaronthomaslaw.com) Evite.com/BigWedding (https://www.evite.com/?utm_source=veritone&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=tryforfree&utm_content=bigwedding) Flower Moxie (https://flowermoxie.com) Use code BigWeddings for $25.00 off your purchase! Quotes “It’s a good idea to talk about financial issues before the wedding. That’s going to play into even the budget for the wedding planning, I would assume, so. But also more importantly, it has to do with your life together. So, certainly I think couples should start talking about financial issues and making sure they’re on the same page before or during the wedding planning season.” - Aaron “You can’t be living in the same household and in different socioeconomic classes. Right? It’s a recipe for disaster.” - Aaron “The couple in the ‘60s getting married was like a start-up. The couple getting married today is like merging two fully formed corporations.” - Aaron “If we can decide, when we love each other, what’s fair. You know, waiting until divorce is a cruel joke, because you wait until all the trust has been broken down and all of this negative feelings have been built up with the other person. And then, you’re supposed to agree on how to manage all the division of your finances from the past 10, 20, 30 years?” - Aaron Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month! Special Guest: Aaron Thomas.

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We've got some super fun announcements for you on today's brand new bonus episode of The Big Wedding Planning Podcast! Michelle opens up about the exciting career path she's on, her mission to give you increased access to even more wedding planning secrets, as well as giving you more insider access to everything you need for planning wedded bliss. Hint hint...here's one of the major announcements you aren't going to want to miss. Michelle is starting a new series exclusively for Patrons of TBWPP. This bonus episode is your sneak peak into what's ahead for you when you become a member too. For $6.99 per month, you'll gain access to episodes like these, where Michelle will release 2 ad-free episodes per month + invete you to a monthly Zoom Happy Hour where we can all hang out, laugh, have fun, inspire and help each other out with wedding planning. Patreon is going to be a vital lifeline to the continued growth at TBWPP. On today's special Patreon episode, you'll listen to our guest share the issues of getting her fiancé to focus on making decisions with wedding planning. After doing the research, and having the options ready, her fiancé has so much work in his regular life that the decision fatigue has effected his ability to contribute to the planning process. In order to avoid friction in the relationship, Michelle gives advice on how to ask her fiancé for help by scheduling dedicated planning times, and how to work together for a smooth remainder of the planning. We're able to produce this podcast because of YOUR support. If you want to learn more, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!

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Home weddings are so much fun and include some of Michelle’s favorite wedding planning moments. On today’s episode she’s chatting it up with one of our favorite guests, David Tutera. The pair discusses the challenges not previously considered when using a home as a wedding venue as well as all the wonderful, intimate emotion that surrounds a wedding of this nature. Listen in because you are going to learn a lot! Tips: 1. You can buy handheld candles that are usually used for memorials. They prevent wax drippings and you can raise the cup up to make sure the flames are safe. 2. If you don’t want a lot of dancing, you can create moments like musicians that cut in between smaller sections of dancing. 3. A rental specialist would be a helpful vendor if you are not having a planner. They will know what kind of rentals are needed to make the event go off without a hitch. 4. Caterers do not want to use your kitchen, and you probably don’t want them using your kitchen anyway. 5. Make sure your spaces are not far apart from each other, so there isn’t a lot of moving around. Consider what your guests have to walk through. 6. Permits! Know what kind of permits you might need in your area. HOA, city ordinances, fire department, police department, etc. 7. Liability insurance is crucial! 8. Purchasing your own alcohol might not actually save you that much money. Hiring caterers/bartenders is a much more practical idea. 9. Have someone available to keep up the cleanliness of toilets. Restroom facility rentals come with attendants! 10. Valet is the way to go. 11. Several months prior to your wedding, send a note to your neighbor with a gift that tells them about the event. Then the night before, give them a nice bottle of wine or food. 12. You MUST have a generator. Get a movie-quiet one if you can. 13. Lighting is very important, not only for safety but for aesthetic reasons too. 14. Do not water the grass! Turn off the sprinklers at least a few days before the wedding. 15. Check with your caterer about the trash! Get them haul it away. It will cost extra but it sooooo worth it. 16. Decibels and energy should increase before the ending of the night, that way you can start to quiet things down gradually. The host can give a thank you and that helps guests know it’s time to leave. Links We Referenced davidtutera.com (https://davidtutera.com) experience.davidtutera.com (http://experience.davidtutera.com) instagram.com/davidtutera (https://www.instagram.com/davidtutera/) facebook.com/TheDavidTutera (https://www.facebook.com/TheDavidTutera) Quotes “I would say, you know, 98% of the time, a wedding at a private home is actually going to cost you more, not only money, but there’s just so much more to think about. Because a home is not normally designed in a way to allow for a great flow for a big event.” - Michelle _“Keep in mind, like you were sharing earlier Michelle, when you arrive at someone’s home, you’re not just looking at the beauty of the space, you’re looking at the reality of what the guests have to go through to get from point a, b, c, and d, and so on.” - David “Every single person, right now, that’s listening to this podcast...” - David “David’s very close to the microphone, this is very important. Listen.” - Michelle “I’m begging you to understand that a generator is a lifeline to success. When your power goes down, your party’s over.” - David_ Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Michelle! Special Guest: David Tutera.

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Our monthly episode of You Ask, We Answer; where we take time to listen to our audiences questions, select top trending picks, and answer them on the show. This month's show has Kelly McWilliams on as a co-host. Kelly is a wedding planner and a podcast host herself. She and Michelle speak each other's language in helping people planning their weddings. You'll get double the expertise as Michelle and Kelly give you answers to everything you're dying to know. Question #1: We are currently planning our wedding for July 2023 in Germany. We are hoping that the Covid situation has settled by then and both of our families will be able to celebrate together. We already rented our venue which is a beautiful mason house in the area where I grew up. My fiancé and I booked it for the entire weekend, which gives us enough time to hang out with all our loved ones. The only thing I am a little worried about is the language barrier. Obviously a lot of the younger generation speaks English, but important people like my mum and grandparents can’t. You had a lot of great episodes on your podcast about multicultural weddings and how to make people feel included, but I was wondering if you have more tips about how to include people that communicate in different languages? One idea we had was to have a screen and projector in the back, so when we are holding speeches, guests will be able to read the translation of the speech. And obviously little cards so they can learn the greetings in each other languages. We will have a bilingual ceremony and I will get some of my friends and family to help with the translating on the day, but I also don’t want to put everyone to work. I have been to so many multicultural weddings where there has been a massive divide between the two families, because they couldn’t communicate properly which each other. We really want everyone to have a great time and get to know each other, that is our biggest priority, so any tips would be really appreciated!! Answer #1: You’re on the right track, but the screen and projector in back feel like a lot of extra work. Unless someone is live translating, they would have to submit their speeches before hand to be translated. It’s definitely an option. It would also be okay to have a translator there. For the most part, people tend to stick to their groups and talk to who they know. Cards with little translations on them is a great idea. Question #2: I am not yet engaged, but will be by summer time! I wanted to create a budget so we knew how much to save and got deep into planning. I love parties and planning, but know that I will need a lot of help. I am considering a full planning (almost certainly getting a month of), but our budget is not huge. We are hoping to stay in $25,000-35,000 for 50 person wedding. Is that too small a budget for a wedding planner around the Washington, DC area? Also if you know any planners in the area, I would love some recommendations. Answer #2: As for pricing of a planner, I can only speak to what I charge and at this time, that is $12,000 for Full Planning and $7,300 for partial. Your budget for that size wedding seems really great. I did some quick research and it seems to me that you should be able to have a really nice wedding for that budget. Even if you spent $12K for a planner, that would leave you over $20K for the wedding. Depending on what your priorities are that is. Keep in mind that really good photographers range from $5 to $10K and of course wedding attire can be really expensive if you go that route, but overall I'm feeling pretty good about your budget, so yay! DC itself is very expensive, but if you are able to look at venues a little outside of the city, you will find better ways to stretch your budget out. Find some planners in the area, and follow them on instagram. Visit theweddingreport.com to find ideas to start with budget. Keep in mind the numbers are for very basic weddings, and you will be building from that number. Question #3: My fiancé and I are getting married on Sunday, July 3rd of this year, in the Hudson Valley area of NY. We are traveling an hour and 20 mins to get to the venue, and most of our guests will have the same travel time (or more). We sent out our Save the Dates last year in November so everyone has basic info that the wedding will be during a holiday weekend, and we have shared details about hotel accommodations on our website (which was included on the Save the Date). My questions are: when do we send out the invites? and when should we make the RSVP by date? We will need to give our final head count to the venue 2 weeks prior to the wedding, but I think some wiggle room would be good since we're doing online RSVPs and anticipating some of the "older" guests to have some issues with this. Also, the last date to reserve within our room block is May 22nd, and I do not want people to forget to book their room or not have enough time to think about if they should reserve a room. Answer #3: Mail them out 8-10 weeks in advance, so maybe send them out on April 30th, so they get to everyone's home that first week of May. Make your RSVP by date: June 5 (so 4 weeks ahead of time), that way you have plenty of time to get in touch with anyone who didn't RSVP and make your deadline of 2 weeks to the venue. Regardless of your RSVP date, you need to send out reminders to people that the last day to book a room under the discounted rate is May 22nd. I would also recommend you reach out to the hotel in early May and ask for a Rooming List so you can see exactly who has booked their rooms already. This helps give you a hint of who you need to remind. Kelly recommends 12 week mail-outs as she works on a lot of destination weddings. This helps with any issues with the post office, and shipping. She also recommends RSVPs at least 6 weeks in advance just so you have extra wiggle room. Especially because having the numbers ahead of time knows how much of certain items to buy and have ready for guests. Question #4: My fiancé and I are planning a kind of a non-traditional wedding. We're not doing things like cutting, we're not doing any dancing. We don't have a bridal party and we're kind of thinking small, like a 50-person wedding. We're having our wedding at an outdoor venue in Washington called McMenamins. And the location is basically like a patio. So because we're not planning on dancing for the reception. I was wondering what type of things we could do to keep our guests entertained. We have a DJ and we're on a pretty tight budget, so we're just kind of planning on having Ambience music and we're hoping to have some like table games. Something fun for our guests to do but we're not really planning on having any of those micro-events that you have talked about before like the cake-cutting and speeches and all of those things. So, what would you suggest that we do to keep our guests entertained and kind of provide structure for the evening? Answer #4: There is nothing wrong with having a dinner party wedding! You don’t have to add to that. Non- traditional is lovely. Micro events are recommend to keep things flowing, but not necessary. Remember a great dinner party you’ve been to in the past, often it’s just snacks, dinner, conversation, and home. Some ideas: People love a good a slide show. You can make it yourself. Buy conversations starters and place them on the tables to promote conversation between guests. Bingo is a lot of fun. And you could rent the ball spinner, and get some little gifts for winners. You could have some cool musicians/performers come in that would be fun to watch. Question #5: My fiancé, Doug, and I are having a weekend style summer camp wedding. Guests will arrive at 5:30pm Friday for a BBQ then leave on Sunday at 11 am after brunch. There is a full day of activities planned on Saturday (lake activities, ropes courses etc) and our ceremony is scheduled for 6:30. The wedding is this June, so it will still be daylight. I do not want to miss many of the daytime activities on Saturday, but I know I need to set some time aside for my hair and make up. My plan is to start getting ready at 3:30 with a close group of friends, then do the first look and pictures at 5:30. I have planned a wine class for the guests that starts at 3:30, that majority of our guests will attend. (I am a professional wine buyer and have lots of wine professional friends, so I have enlisted a few to do the class) I do not mind missing the wine class and intentionally scheduled it at this time to start getting ready. So my question...Is this a reasonable timeline for that portion of events or do I need to allocate more time for hair, make up and pictures? I know many timelines have the bride starting to get ready 6 hours+ before. Side note, I am not planning on hiring a hair and make up artist and mostly because of the tight timeline. Answer #5: There are a lot of factors on time. Are you doing your own hair and make up? Or is someone (a friend) doing it for you? Assuming you are doing your own and your guests are as well, there is no need for 6 hours. A room full of friends can make time fly by really fast, if you are all talking, drinking, etc. If you have two hours, then you will need to make sure everyone is focused. Getting dressed takes a lot of time. After first look, you return to your room and don’t walk straight to the ceremony. So at 6, you need to be tucked away as guests are sitting. If you can, start getting ready at 2:30pm. If you are doing pre-wedding pictures with your wedding party, time needs to be pushed up to 5. Chat with your photographer on timelines. Question #6: The other question is about insurance. We are required to have limited liability insurance and our venue will allow us to add ourselves to their policy for the weekend for $350. Should we get additional insurance in case anything happens to our other vendors or the venue itself? It sounds like the insurance that we are purchasing through the venue just covers if something happens to our guests during the wedding. Answer #6: Be careful with what is included with the insurance. They run the gamut on pricing, and it is important to read the fine details in the policy so you know what it does and does not cover. The venue’s insurance probably only covers the venue. You can get wedding insurance. The venue’s liability insurance probably does not cover your guests. Ask vendors before you book them if they have their own business liability insurance. Links We Referenced https://www.kellymcwilliams.com (https://www.kellymcwilliams.com) https://www.kellymcwilliams.com/blog/this-vs-that-wedding-podcast(This Vs. That Podcast) https://www.bellanottedc.com (https://www.bellanottedc.com) https://bellwetherevents.com (https://bellwetherevents.com) https://wedding.report (https://wedding.report) https://www.theexperientialwedding.com (https://www.theexperientialwedding.com) QR Code Generator (https://www.qr-code-generator.com) We're able to produce this podcast because of YOUR support. If you want to learn more, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). If you want to become a Patron (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast), and get exclusive access to our monthly newsletter, bonus episodes, and more, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)! A giant thank you to all of our Patrons, who help keep this podcast running! Learn more by checking out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Michelle! Special Guest: Kelly A. McWilliams.

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Have you ever wondered about the crazy fun, interesting, and shocking things celebrity wedding planners see behind the scenes? The author of this really cool new book titled: "Without a Hitch" joins Michelle today on the podcast. Author Mary Huddleston is a a former wedding planner to celebrities and to people who have spent insanely large amounts of money on weddings. Mary's new book isn't a documentary necessarily, but is based on the things she's done and seen in her career. The main characters of the book are relatable at times and over the top hilarious at others. Whether you're planning a wedding now, or you work as a wedding planner yourself, you're going to laugh your head off reading this book. In the mean time get to know Mary on today's show as she offers up a few sneak peaks with Michelle. Big Takeaways * The more money and family involved, the more drama. * A good wedding planner has your back and acts as a liaison between you and the vendors and more. Sometimes, they even act as a therapist. It’s important to really connect with your planner. * When it comes to day-of coordination, Mary also does not advise it. Minimum, she recommends hiring a planner three months out. They need to have time to give advice and review everything. It can’t happen in one day or month of. If you hire someone earlier on they can fix problems, negotiate contracts, and do all the magic that planners do. Tips and questions to ask a wedding planner you might not have thought to ask: 1. How long have you been doing this? 2. How often have you worked at this venue? 3. Make sure they are the kind of person who can stand up for you when needed. 4. Do you have experience doing the type of wedding we’re doing? Links We Referenced https://www.instagram.com/mrssouthernsocial/ (https://www.instagram.com/mrssouthernsocial/) https://www.pinterest.com/mrssouthernsocialofficial/ (https://www.pinterest.com/mrssouthernsocialofficial/) https://mrssouthernsocial.com/ (https://mrssouthernsocial.com) https://mrssouthernsocial.com/book-club-guide/ (https://mrssouthernsocial.com/book-club-guide/) https://pleasebeseated.com (https://pleasebeseated.com) Quotes “She [Asher] went off and pursued a proper journalism degree at Colombia and I went and, you know, helped brides change their underwear for a living.” - Mary _ _“You know, you go to these weddings and something’s always going to go wrong, it’s just to what degree. You know, and obviously, if the guest is seeing it then it’s probably a large problem. But there’s so much that goes on behind the scenes and the really good vendors and wedding planners you never know about it. Or if you do it’s at the end of the event and it hasn’t ruined the event.” - Mary Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Michelle! Special Guest: Mary Huddleston.

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A year ago, our guest on today’s show, Jordan Hager, reached out to Michelle with a story you won’t want to miss. Her email was titled: “My wedding story when all vendors cancelled.” She shares once-in-a-lifetime experience which begins on the day Texas, experienced the worst ice storm the state had ever seen. Jordan’s story is one of hope and a powerful reminder to those of you planning a wedding that yes, you will experience stress and drama during the process of getting married, but keeping your focus on the end result of marrying your sweetheart is really what it’s all about. Jordann Hager is 27 years young and currently lives in Colorado Springs with her husband Matt and their sheepadoodle puppy, Bodhi (bo-dee). Jordann spends her days working in Pediatrics & Family Support Services and her nights working as an associate wedding planner. Jordann is known for her love of pink and her quick wit and is often referred to as “The Actual Elle Woods”. Big Takeaways * In the intensity of everything changing, and needing to be adjusted last minute, Jordann was able to stay optimistic, and work with her people to create a magical wedding day. * Having a wedding planner was ultimately the only way her wedding was able to still happen. Amanda, her planner, put out fires, found last minute substitutes, and never stopped working. * Jordann’s biggest advice for staying sane on the big day is marry your best friend. The goal of the day is to get married, and in the end, if that happens that it was a successful day. * Choose a wedding planner that you would want around you if everything went wrong. Links We Referenced instagram.com/jordann.hager (https://instagram.com/jordann.hager) instagram.com/dovetail_jordann (https://www.instagram.com/dovetail_jordann/) dovetailweddings.com (https://dovetailweddings.com) instagram.com/dovetailweddings (https://www.instagram.com/dovetailweddings/) instagram.com/makeupbymaddz_ (https://www.instagram.com/makeupbymaddz_/) saloneforte-hair.com (http://salonforte-hair.com) themansionatcolovista.com (https://www.themansionatcolovista.com) instagram.com/themansionatcolovista (https://www.instagram.com/themansionatcolovista/) austinstuartphotography.com (https://www.austinstuartphotography.com) instagram.com/austinstuartphoto (https://www.instagram.com/austinstuartphoto/) kalocatering.com (https://kalocatering.com) instagram.com/kalocatering (https://www.instagram.com/kalocatering/) hellotara.com (https://hellotara.com) instagram.com/taralyonsphotography (https://www.instagram.com/taralyonsphotography/) Quotes _“I see her name’s Amanda, she’s like, ‘So we have a little problem...’ ‘Oh no.’ She’s like, ‘So...’ and she opens the door and everything is completely white. I can see ice everywhere of this parking lot of the little cottages we’re staying at on site.” - Jordann “When people say, ‘I don’t know what wedding planners do,’ I’m like, ‘Okay, have a seat, I’m going to tell you this is what happened and it was beautiful.’” - Jordann “The big advice I tell people is marry your best friend.” - Jordann_ Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Michelle!

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On today's episode of the podcast Michelle connects with the lovely Claire White, owner of White Ink Calligraphy. Listen in as Claire answers all those questions you want answers to about any type of print material you're going to need for your wedding. Claire White puts pen to paper in Nashville Tennessee and has been serving the wedding industry for five years. White Ink started out as a calligraphy studio and has recently expanded to offering full invitation services, graphic design and printing services. White Ink assists their clients with wedding details from Save the Dates to the place cards at their wedding reception, and everything in between. Big Takeaways From Chava: Any tips for creating your own invitation/invitation suites? We want to design the invitation ourselves but how to best execute once we have the design. What card stock would you recommend? Any specifics on how to utilize a cricut? If you are thinking of getting a cricut for the first time for your wedding, don’t do it.They are complicated. If you are used to using them, go for it! 110lbs or heavier for card stock. Anything with texture will look more lux. Have a candid conversation with your printer about what kind of paper they can use. Local printers are usually focused more on large print projects, and less on small ones. DIY will be a lot more time. And sometimes will end with you spending a lot more money than having ordered out because there will be trouble shooting along the way. From Anamaria: Ways to save money on custom invitations. Ask the stationer if they have semi-customdesignsavailable. While white ink doesn’t offer semi-custom, you can find old designs you like and have them work with that which does decrease cost. From Hope: What is the best way to find postage that will compliment your invitation suite without the ability to customize stamps? Do you ever have issues with return addresses printed on the back of envelopes being sent back instead of to the intended recipient because it isn’t on the front in the upper left hand corner? The post office releases new postage fairly frequently. When something comes out of rotation, it becomes ‘vintage’. You can find vintage postage through Etsy, or other places online. Be careful! There is counterfeit postage going around! Always put the invitation return address on the back flap. Make it smaller font than the mailing address. It shouldn’t ever get sent to the return address. From Brigit: The whole USPS mailing process. Anything we should know about weight/stamps/ hand canceling (I know I've heard that term before but think it's more expensive??) Hand canceling stops the post office from running it through their machine with the barcode, but it doesn’t guarantee it won’t happen in another office. Some offices require extra postage for a wax seal or hand canceling. If it’s just a cardinan envelope, put one stamp. If it has multiple things inside, put two stamps to just be safe. From Laura: What’s the best way to address invites in the modern age? Re: lots of married friends who did not take their partner’s name + which names comes first + including kids? The rules of etiquette are a little bit behind when it comes to modern addressing. Don’t lose sleep over it. More formal: list the male first. Friend is the female but lives with a male: list the female first. Mr. __ and Mrs. ___ is okay. How formal do you want to be? There are a million different right answers. The etiquette rules can change from address to address. From Amber: What recommendations do you have for seating chart styles and formats (ex. Grouped by tables or alphabetically) in light of Covid and higher likelihood of people not being able to come last minute and maybe needing to shuffle some people around. Especially for outdoor weddings where escort cards are likely to fly away. If you are worried about your escort cards flying away, talk with your wedding planner to come up with solutions. If you have a seating chart listed alphabetically by last name, it is easier to change. When it’s put by table, it is much harder to change last minute. Michelle loves first name, last initial, then table number. If you have to have it by table, you should have a smaller guest count. From Jessica: Recommendations on what information to actually include on the invites/inserts? - Insertshouldalwaysincludeyourwebsite! From Natasha: What's the etiquette for sending out 2 different invitations? One set for the bride's family and a different one for the groom's side. I feel like certain family members need to be told specific things and others do not. You are hosting a wedding for these guests. You don’t have to explain things in different terminology for different guests. If you have to, you can make it a text. - Make it super clear on your website. From Nika: Any advice on mailing invites abroad? My save the dates took 6 weeks to get to parts of Europe. If you have a beautiful suite you want to stay pretty and get there in a reasonable time, put it in a flat mailer and mail it with more postage as a parcel. - SenditUSPS. From Manda: Do I have to include physical rsvps or can I just have people go online? I don’t want to be tacky- but also think this could save a good bit of money. The trend is that about 50% of couples are doing online RSVP snow. There is really no wrong answer. From Cassy: If its OK to add a leaflet about a welcome party in the invitation suite, why is it bad form to add the reception invitation to the suite? Why do people recommend mailing them separately? Reception insert should be a separatecard, but not a different envelope! Links We Referenced etsy.com (https://www.etsy.com/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=etsy%20com_e&utm_campaign=Search_US_Brand_GGL_ENG_General-Brand_Core_All_Exact&utm_ag=A1&utm_custom1=_k_Cj0KCQiAmpyRBhC-ARIsABs2EApi3Dm9WWhse6mTR-SVNwwI1gSkrLogTjN5ILQ6vcQ4R8d6YauxDMMaAqmmEALw_wcB_k_&utm_content=go_227553629_16342445429_536666953103_kwd-1818581812_c_&utm_custom2=227553629&gclid=Cj0KCQiAmpyRBhC-ARIsABs2EApi3Dm9WWhse6mTR-SVNwwI1gSkrLogTjN5ILQ6vcQ4R8d6YauxDMMaAqmmEALw_wcB) store.usps.com/store/results/stamps//N-9y93lv?requestid=304204 emilypost.com (https://emilypost.com) crane.com/etiquette-guide (https://www.crane.com/etiquette-guide) qr-code-generator.com (https://www.qr-code-generator.com) whiteinkcalligraphy.com (https://www.whiteinkcalligraphy.com) instagram.com/whiteinkcalligraphy (https://www.instagram.com/whiteinkcalligraphy/) littlepostagehouse.com/vintage-postage-curated-collections (https://www.littlepostagehouse.com/vintage-postage-curated-collections) enfieldpost.com (https://www.enfieldpost.com) magnoliapostage.com (https://www.magnoliapostage.com) Quotes “Ultimately, at the end of the day, you don’t want it to look like a 3rd grade craft project. Right? You want it to look professional, even if you DIY’d it. There’s a lot of tutorials on YouTube, certain stationers that assist with DIY, you can find people on instagram. You will save money this way. that go the DIY route, regret it, jump on board with a professional, and then they’re paying rush fees.” - Claire _“You are hosting a wedding for these guests. You do not need to be explaining things in different terminologies for different guests. That is a phone call. If they ask, that is a text message.” - Claire _ Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Michelle! Special Guest: Claire White.

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- Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Michelle!

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Our monthly episode of You Ask, We Answer; where we take time to listen to our audiences questions, select top trending picks, and answer them on the show. Question 1: My tentative wedding date is the day before my parents 40th wedding anniversary. I want to do something to honor them, but not sure what would be best! Do you have any ideas or suggestions? Answer 1: Surprise slideshows are always sweet and romantic. Sometimes people will bring in a specialty cake that might be the parent’s favorite. Before you cut into the cake, you can announce your parents’ anniversary and bring out their special cake or allow the parents to be the ones to cut the cake! You can also have an anniversary dance just for the parents. Bring vintage wedding photos of your parents as you can find. Question 2: Best way to help my anxiety on my wedding weekend? Answer 2: Not being able to see your person before your wedding day can actually cause excess anxiety. It might be worth dropping the traditions that make you stressed out. Sometimes you just have to do what makes your feel comfortable, find the norm. Escape the wedding party for a few minutes, take a breath, and lean on your wedding planner when things make you crazy. The further you get away from your day to day norm can make you more anxious, so find the little things that you normally would do to help stabilize the day. If you partake, marijuana can help a lot. Don’t mix it with alcohol of course. Question 3: Does it look bad to only provide transportation for the wedding party and not all guests? Answer 3: This is hard question to answer. It really depends so much on venue, location, number of guests, etc. If you can’t get a Lyft or an uber in that spot, you should consider providing transportation. One thing to consider is that guests (if they have traveled) have probably been drinking, it might be worth considering cars for that reason. It is not weird to not offer it to anyone other than the party. Question 4: Should we do all the eating first, and then move to dancing? Seems disjointed otherwise Answer 4: This is definitely the norm. In general though, people will do what you tell them to do when you tell them do it. If for some reason you have to reorder things, you can do it. You could have a full on cocktail hour and tray passed apps before the ceremony! Really you can do whatever feels right. Question 5: Wanting to require COVID tests upon guest arrival (in addition to showing proof of vaccination). We have over 200 guests. Ideas? Answer 5: This will cause a bit of bottle neck as they wait to get tested. It will take awhile. Pass out champagne! Maybe have some apps available. You need a lot of people helping to administer these tests. You can pay third party companies to come and run the whole process for you. With that many tests, it will take a lot of time. Question 6: Tips for layouts at the venue? I’ve got a big room but I'm unsure where to put the dance floor. Answer 6: Check with the venue first! Likely they have expert opinions on this. You can check with DJs and photographers that the venue uses a lot, they will for sure know what works best. If it’s a wide open room, the center is the best, it allows everyone to sit and watch people dance and jump in when they want. Keep tables away from the restrooms. Really it depends on the flow of the room. Question 7: I booked a venue in a forest with a garden ceremony which was amazing and gorgeous. However, the more I think about it the more I realize it's not exactly what I want. There's a venue in Portland that fits everything I'm not realizing I want, as it's in a cozy greenhouse and in the city, but I haven't seen it in person (only over video). I'm nervous that I'm going to keep changing my mind, but I feel strongly that the first venue we paid a $3K deposit on is not the one for me. Every time I have to think about making a decision on it, or start looking at inspirations, I freeze and realize it's not really right for me. What is the best way to know what I really want? How do I stop myself from losing more money? I also don't want to offend the people who own the venue I already paid a deposit on, but I know they're super popular so I know they'll have no issue rebooking the date (they've already booked out pretty much every date for 2023), but I do want to ask for a partial refund if they can rebook. Answer 7: Regardless of what happens, stop looking! It’s just going to cause confusion and anxiety. Be extremely upfront with the venue. Tell them you’ve been hasty. Before you talk to them, read the contract over and over again so you know where you stand. If you feel comfortable going to them, ask the venue what their thoughts are on it. Can they rebook it? How should you go forward? Links We Referenced thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/episodes/182-venue-owner-tells-all (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/episodes/182-venue-owner-tells-all) thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/episodes/201-five-venues-across-the-country-as-we- reopen (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/episodes/201-five-venues-across-the-country-as-we-reopen) instagram.com/thedixiebagley (https://www.instagram.com/thedixiebagley/) A Special Thank You To Our Sponsor of This Episode Zola - They have everything you need in one place! Visit zola.com/bigwedding (https://welcome.zola.com/allproducts_alldevices_50/?pkey=bigweddingpod&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=bigwedding&) We're able to produce this podcast because of YOUR support. If you want to learn more, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). If you want to become a Patron (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast), and get exclusive access to our monthly newsletter, bonus episodes, and more, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)! A giant thank you to all of our Patrons, who help keep this podcast running! Learn more by checking out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Dixie Bagley.

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There is a whole big wide world out there and we are roaring to see it! You’re going to love today’s show as Michelle connects with Linda Mitchell, owner of Luxury Destination Travel. Whether you’re planning an amazing honeymoon, a destination wedding, or a little RandR for yourself, you’ll want to listen in and learn all about where to find the best pricing, locations as well as understanding how the pandemic continues to add minors hiccups to hitting the road. As owner of Luxury Destination Travel, Linda Mitchell knows the importance of high level customer service. Planning trips for clients to destinations all around the world is her passion! Linda has held positions at esteemed corporate travel offices including Addison Wesley Publishing Company, Harvard University, Fidelity and Stride Rite Corporation. Planning both corporate and personal travel for the top-level executives taught her a level of dedicated VIP service that would become her mission when creating her niche luxury travel business in 2001. Luxury Destination Travel, was born out of planning her daughter’s destination wedding in Bermuda in 2002. Creating travel for family and guests, she realized a passion for creating a boutique niche specialty, helping to make memorable, exciting and lasting travel experiences for others. Linda has worked with discerning clients managing luxury travel itineraries all over the globe. Big Takeaways * Much like with wedding planning, you COULD plan your own wedding, but wouldn’t it be easier to have an expert planning it for you? * Travel professionals are the same, people like Linda are connected, informed, and educated in the travel industry. She can get you the best experience for your buck AND lower the stress of planning the whole trip. If my honeymoon is the one big vacation of my life, where do I start? * Honeymoons are very emotional and being planned at a veryemotional busy time of your life. * Consider budget, think about the honeymoon registries. * If you are going right after your wedding, you are going to be exhausted quite naturally, so consider your energy levels. * Cruses are not necessarily a great first choice because it's your first big vacation together and you don't want to be surrounded by 5000 other people with little control over your schedule. * Ash, what do you want to experience together? * What do you like to do together? (Drink wine, eat good food, go hiking, etc?) * Once you know everything you can do, think about what you want to do. Pare down the list. * You're not going to be able to do everything, and you won't have the energy anyway. Should you plan every single day of the trip or leave some downtime? * Pick the top things you want to do and spread them out! * It will take time to adjust to the new location. * Rest is important and it can be easy to over plan. * If you try to squeeze everything in you won't have enought time to actually enjoy everything. * Most of the time you can make plans once you arrive too. * Check in with the hotel concierge, ask the locals, take time to soak in the location. Tips for Jet Lag: * Take a "no jet lag" homeopathic pill an hour before your flight and follow the instructions. * When crossing time zones, change your watch as soon as you get on the plane, the earliest you can so your body can start adjusting. * Drink lots of water. * Bring whatever brings you comfort and helps you feel "at home" (pillow, favorite eye mask, etc.) * When you arrive, stick to the time zone as much as possible. Try not to keep your old sleep schedule. It will make it so much easier to adjust. What are your top favorites for honeymoons? * With Covid restrictions, traveling outside the US can be very challenging. * Consider places that you haven't been able to explore in the states. * New Your city can be so wonderful if you've never really spent a lot of time in cities. * The Florida Keys * Different spots in California * Caribbean (consider travel time) - Mexico (Mayakoba) * Maldives * Italy * Hawaii * Bermuda What are the hottest spots for destination weddings? * Everything is failry local right now. * Consder your guests but don't base it on your guests. * Most guest seas coast to coast: Bermuda, The Caribbean * Read reviews, see Ifit's Fit to Accomodate Destination Weddings * Are there vendors and such? Extra Tips and Tricks * Check your poasspost expiration date. It needs to be 6 months beyond the dates of travel * Get travel insurance with a third party company that insures the whole trip. * Connection needs to be at least 2 hours or more for international connections. * Ask for good luggage as a wedding gift. Links We Referenced nojetlag.com (http://www.nojetlag.com) bungalowskeylargo.com (https://www.bungalowskeylargo.com) caesar-augustus.com (https://www.caesar-augustus.com) mayakoba.com (https://mayakoba.com) awaytravel.com (https://www.awaytravel.com) instagram.com/luxurydestinationtravel (https://www.instagram.com/luxurydestinationtravel/) luxurydestinationtravel.com (https://luxurydestinationtravel.com) Thrive Causemetics (https://thrivecausemetics.com/bigwedding) Flower Moxie (https://flowermoxie.com) - Use Code BIGWEDDING for $25 off your purchase Quotes “It’s pride for me, you know. It’s a sense of freedom for me. Just knowing I could develop such a successful business and bring so much joy to so many. So that’s why I do it.” - Linda “You’re not going to [want to] hit the ground running in ten different European cities for two weeks and go crazy. Because there is an emotional and exhaustion letdown that you have to give into.” - Linda Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Linda Mitchell.

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Podcast SuperFan Kayla Langton Pepe joins Michelle on the show today. Kayla caught the attention of TBWPP crew because she continually showed up as a thoughtful contributor on Instagram, both through her comments and joining our LIVE experiences and we certainly could never overlook all of the insightful questions she would continually email our way. Today Kayla opens up about how the show influenced her wedding planning, her deviating from professional advice (hint hint, don’t do that) and course correcting to finally land an amazing wedding experience in October 2021. Located in Vancouver, Canada, Kayla is a teacher for child actors on film sets. She passionately works on her business, Bunny's Makery on the side. Kayla is a chocolatier with lots of enthusiasm and a love of connecting people. Big Takeaways Kayla met her husband Mark on bumble! With a little wiggle room in their budget, they added string bulb lights indoors and outdoors. They had a DJ, even though they were originally against the idea of it. When it came to her bridal party, Kayla let her friends decide what events they wanted to be included in and how they would be included. She didn’t want to have a planner, because of the family having run their own events so many times before. Eventually, it just didn’t make sense to do it alone, and she hired a planner. Her work schedule, and life were all too much to not have a planner. She had a two-month out planner and never once regretted it. A lot of their guests said that their wedding was the best one they’d ever been to. Kayla believes that a lot of that was due to truly showcasing who they are as individuals and as a couple. When it came to table seating, she combined people who had things in common! There were conversation starters in the Hygge theme (cozy, comfy, etc) on every table to get everyone talking to each other. With restrictions due to Covid, everything was limited to ages 15 and over. Kayla recommends communicating personally, one on one. It leaves less room for judgement and speculation. Ultimately, they focused on only inviting people that knew them as a couple, which made it easy to have the no kids policy. And they also each knew everyone that was there. When it came to complicated family dynamics, Kayla really had to think critically about how much she wanted to include people in certain aspects. The day was about her and her husband, and she wanted to have healthy boundaries in that regard. Her grandpa ended up walking her down the aisle. Guests under 20 received handmade chocolate bars with their escort cards, and everyone else had a local roaster’s coffee beans. Links We Referenced bunnysmakery.com (https://bunnysmakery.ca) instagram.com/bunnys.makery (https://www.instagram.com/bunnys.makery/) instagram.com/kaitlindayphotos (https://www.instagram.com/kaitlindayphotos/) kaitlindayphotography.com (https://www.kaitlindayphotography.com) etsy.com/ca/shop/LittleLarrys?page=1#items (https://www.etsy.com/ca/shop/LittleLarrys?page=1#items) foodburnaby.ca/weddings/riverway-clubhouse sayeventsco.com/portfolio (https://foodburnaby.ca/weddings/riverway-clubhouse) theexperientialwedding.com (https://www.theexperientialwedding.com) instagram.com/theexperientialwedding (https://www.instagram.com/theexperientialwedding/) sayeventsco.com/portfolio (https://sayeventsco.com/portfolio) The Big Wedding Planning Podcast YouTube Channel (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCj1_W_r__yd7cI4jIyAj8UA) FlowerMoxie.com (https://flowermoxie.com) Quotes “I’m 33 and I find, too, more of my friends at this age might not want to wear matching dresses. They might not want to invest a ton of time. You know, they’ve got kids and other things like that. They just have a lot on the go. So I just didn’t want to expect that of them. I just wanted to leave it open to them.” - Kayla _ “I think with wedding planning, you really gotta learn to let things go because you’re not gonna be able to do everything.” - Kayla_ “Your mom, or your parent, no matter who they are, they’re going to have their opinions and that’s okay. Just let them have their opinions and you don’t need to take it to heart. That’s the advice I would give.” - Kayla Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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Randi Smith is an island girl who is passionate about celebrating life’s big moments. She is the founder and lead designer at Sugar Euphoria - a boutique wedding cake and confectionery studio in North Carolina. On today's episode of the podcast, Randi chats with Michelle about navigating through the busyness of being an entrepreneur, cake designer, and mother. She's got a lot on her plate, but her story of going from burnout to profit, isn't one you're going to want to miss! Randi has been featured in Style Me Pretty Brides Magazine, Martha Stewart, Borrowed & Blue, Southern Bride & Groom, Munaluchi Bride, Wedding Sparrow, and Grey Likes Weddings. Big Takeaways Top 5 Questions for Randi Does she stay and cut the cake? No. Most caterers offer a cake cutting service though. What if there are a lot of guests but not a big budget? Cupcakes, sheetcake, and more are a great option! What should we do with the extra cake? You can box up cake for guests, create a storage solution, save a slice for the one year! Put the cake in the fridge first, to help the icing harden a bit, then saran wrap it, put it in a box, and put it in the freezer! Will she put the flowers on the cake with fresh flowers? Depends! Are the flowers an important part of thedesign? Ifnot, it’s fine if the florist does it. Otherwise, she will try to work with the florist to make it work. How many flavors can you have in your tiered cake? As many flavors as there are tiers. When you have allergies or food restrictions, it is important to do the research on your bakers. There are really great alternative options, and some bakers will even have a referral for you. Plated dinners, you want to make sure you have cake for everyone. * Buffet style, you can have a little less. Not everyone will end up eating a slice. * What you should be looking for in a cake baker? * Make sure they are licensed with the city or state. * Make sure they are insured! * If guests were to get sick, the baker’s insurance would cover costs and you as the couple would not have to worry about this. When it comes to proposals and contracts: - They should be detailed. * You want to make sure you know what the icing is. * Size and shape of tiers? * What is the delivery fee? * Are rentals of cake knife, server, cake stand on there? * How do you return those? When? * Sometimes proposals roll into contract and invoice, * Is everything included? * What happens if there is a reschedule? How to cut and serve the cake: * Request a cutting chart from your cake baker or look one up on the internet. * the person cutting needs to know how many servings need to be cut. * Not like a bday cake, they need to be little rectangles (not wedges.) * There will be little dowels in each tier for support that need to be removed. * Work with a clean knife between each cut. Dip it into hot water. You'll need a towel or a rag. Alternatives to cake * Randis' favorite alternative is macaroons. * Easy to customize to theme and colors. * Shells can be dyed to match your colors. * Mix and match fillings. * Fun way to incorporate on traditional flavors into dessert (ie: peanut butter is your fave, funfetti, cookies and cream) * Edible printers - can add pics of your pet, monogram, etc... * Make great party favors * Macarron towers, bowl, plate * Light and dairy - eat a few without feeling guilty * Mini tarts or pies * Level of sophistication ot the dessert table * Pull in the fun flavors * Dessert Shooters * Your wedding cake can be put in a shooter as an alternative to cupcakes - aesthetically pleasing * Lactose, gluten, egg-free, or vegan * Do the research on the bake and make sure to sample! * There are a lot of products on the market so it is possible. Links We Referenced sugareuphoria.com (https://sugareuphoria.com) instagram.com/sugareuphoria (https://www.instagram.com/sugareuphoria/) Quotes “Any time a couple comes to me, and they’re like, ‘so, I know we’re probably being extra but can we put gold on the cake?’ I’m like, ‘you’re not extra, you’re in the right place. Because I just have leaflets and leaflets of 24 karat gold. I will gold leaf anything. So, yes, we can do that.’” - Randi “I just want to encourage people, if you’re not a cake fan, there are so many alternatives out there for you. And there is a baker who can create it for you.” - Randi Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Randi Smith.

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Our monthly episode of You Ask, We Answer; where we take time to listen to our audiences questions, select top trending picks, and answer them on the show. Question #1: I have an awkward bridal [wedding] party question for you... My fiancé has been married once before. It was short. They were young. It was essentially a mistake. His best friend from childhood was his best man [back] then. Now, we aren't as close with him anymore. Even though I was friends with everyone from the former wedding and we were close with his best friend at that time. We are definitely still friends but we now spend more time with another couple. My fiancé wants to ask the guy from the couple we spend a lot of time with now to be his best man, but he's afraid of hurting his old best friend's feelings. My mother doesn't even think the old best man should be in the wedding at all because he was in the first one lol I'm torn because I probably wouldn't make a decision that would I don’t want to hurt my the old best friend but of course, I want my fiancé [to be] happy. Do you have any experiences like this or any advice I can give my fiancé? Answer #1: This is a new chapter in your lives! A new best man is an exciting and great idea. Plus, it might actually be a relief for the original best man to not have to take on that duty again. Also, while your mom probably means well, it is your wedding so you can leave her out of the equation. You are being proactive and so caring, but it doesn’t have to be a big deal. Be careful of asking someone new in your life to be in your wedding party. Just make sure they are legit, true, caring, connected friends. Would one of them ask you to be in their wedding? The old best friend should absolutely be invited to the wedding! Question #2: I am 41 years old and this is my second marriage. I got married on a beach in Jamaica at the age of 22, and was separated by the time I was 26. I went on to raise my four lovely (and sometimes not so lovely) sons. This is my first big wedding and I would like to have my sons (now aged 22, 19, 17, and 16) be the ones to walk me down the aisle. The question is how to do this without it being so messy looking? For starters, my wedding is at an indoor venue and the aisle itself is quite short. I had envisioned dividing my aisle walk and walking with each son for a 1/4 of it - but if I follow with that plan, it will only be about 4 or 5 steps with each son. I have also considered walking with two halfway and then the other two the other half, but to fit the chairs for my 140 guests, the site coordinator is not sure how wide we can make the aisle. Do you have any suggestions on how to organize this walk? I also wonder if it would be messy or time-consuming for each of my sons to hug their stepfather after walking me somehow. We have been together just under 10 years and he has played a role in raising them. Also, if I do the one at a time scenario, would you recommend I walk out with my oldest and work my way to the youngest or come out with the youngest and work up to the oldest son? Answer#2: Try doing this in two sections of two. Youngest to oldest. Youngest walk you down the aisle to your husband, and the older two can meet you and your husband to congratulate you after the ceremony. And the youngest can meet halfway down to join, and all 6 of your can walk down the aisle together. Obviously this will take some coordinating and choreography. If there is a break in the middle of the aisle, you could have the youngest two walk half way up, and the older two meet there and complete the walk. Question #3: I am a professional event planner and used to solely work in weddings which is why I have been so excited in planning my own wedding coming up in March. I wanted to reach out and see if you had any tips for how to take off my “work hat” and put on my “bride hat” when the big day rolls around. While I’m doing the bulk of the planning myself, I’ve hired the best vendors around and my day-of coordinator is incredible. However, as we know, most event planners are control freaks and I’m no exception. I’m worried I’ll be too focused on trivial small details like whether the chairs are too pushed in to truly enjoy my time with my friends, family and soon-to-be husband. Any tips or tricks you can provide would be really appreciated. Answer #3: As a planner, David says he would NEVER plan his own wedding again. The stress was major. Especially as it got closer to the wedding, he couldn’t let go of the control. You should be a couple leading to your wedding, and a guest at your own celebration. You have to take the hat off and let the responsibility to whoever is in charge. It’s hard, but you have to decide to let the reins go. Question #4: My fiancé and I got engaged in October 2021 and we wanted to wait to jump into things as we didn’t want to get married until 2023. I realized things were booking up super quickly so we had a panic! We picked a venue that we love for September 2023. I have a decent idea of what I want and want to start picking photographers and florists but I’m so scared I’ll change my mind on my aesthetic given how far away the wedding is. I don’t want to lose out on great vendors but feel like I am not ready to commit to a style or colors. Advice? Answer #4: Taste changes, that is normal. It’s okay. The biggest thing to consider is to connect with vendors that have range and build relationships with them. Go with the vendors that you love and know can do the work you want. If changes need to happen (in a reasonable time), they should be able to help adjust. If you wait until the last moment, the stress is going to be too much. Have a dialogue with all your vendors. It is important to plan early. You don’t have to commit to style or schemes that far in advance. You will always have room to make changes down the line, within reason. Question #5: I am getting married in June 2022. I Want to require vaccines but am trying to figure out how to go about it. Common to do’s? Answer #5: Pointing out how intense the spread is right now is a great way to not get political. The invites can describe that you are concerned about immune-compromised guests, and that you require vaccines and rapid tests upon arrival. It’s not political to want to be safe. So many guest are actually going to feel so much better about attending your wedding. Some people might be resistant, but that’s okay. Overall, you’re going to relieve a lot of worries. A special thank you to our sponsors of this episode. Zola - They have everything you need all in one place! Visit zola.com/bigwedding Flower Moxie - Flower Moxie is a DIY flower company that ships all over the US. Go to flowermoxie.com and use code: BIGWEDDING for $25 off your purchase. Links We Referenced: davidtutera.com (https://davidtutera.com) experience.davidtutera.com (http://experience.davidtutera.com) instagram.com/davidtutera (https://www.instagram.com/davidtutera/) facebook.com/TheDavidTutera (https://www.facebook.com/TheDavidTutera) We're able to produce this podcast because of YOUR support. If you want to learn more, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). If you want to become a Patron (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast), and get exclusive access to our monthly newsletter, bonus episodes, and more, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)! A giant thank you to all of our Patrons, who help keep this podcast running! Learn more by checking out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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Deno and Carl of Emerald City Band travel all over the world helping throw the best parties ever. Listen closely about the way they talk about what they do because when you're interviewing a band, you want to hear this kind of passion, drive, and authentic talent as well as a love for what they do. The energy of these bands is dynamic! Deno Taglioli was born in Detroit, Michigan and has studied music at Interlochen Arts Camp, Western Michigan University, Wayne State University, University of Texas, and the University of North Texas. Deno has performed all over the United States, from every house of Blue to the White House. He is the innovator, creator, and producer of "Emerald City Presents" the most sought after wedding bands in the country. Carl Poposki has had a diverse career as a freelance trombonist, composer, arranger, and educator in his home state of Michigan, as well as Texas, Indiana, and all over the globe. He holds a Bachelor's Degree in Instrumental Music Education from the University of Michigan and a Masters Degree in Music Education from Baylor University. A nine-year teaching veteran of the public schools in Michigan, Carl has also performed for over 30 years with groups of almost every genre. Carl also served as Musical Director and trombonist for Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines. He is currently the Director of Operations for Emerald City Presents/EC Bands specializing in the best in live entertainment. Big Takeaways * Reach out directly to the band, sales team, band leader - if you can. * When you go to an agency, they are the middle man. This does mean, you are paying for their service. Not all bands have the capability to speak to you individually, so the agency is a great step. However, we do live in the time of social media, a couple can reach out straight to the band. * When you are researching, go see the band live! This is the best way to know what you will be getting. There are “fake” bands that are thrown together right before the big day. They read music off iPads and phones, and just play the hits together, sometimes it’s the only time they have ever played together. * The price point of the band is obviously important. Often though, they are those “fake” bands when it seems too good to be true. It can be a good sign to look deeper. A good band is not the cheapest route to go. Think about what kind of party you want! * A band rider outlines the production needs for the band, including sound, lights, instruments, etc. Wedding bands should come ALL-INCLUSIVE. If the band if going to ask for anything, it should be a hot meal, water, a room to dress in, etc. * There are a lot of things to consider about your space with a band, including power. So it’s good to ask questions, and do the research. * The first dance can be edited down! That way you are hanging out on the floor solo for too long. Every band should be able to learn your first dance song. * Bands are typically booked for 4 hour blocks. To Consider For Ceremony: * Have you secured PA speakers for mics (for officiant or readers)? Do you prefer recorded music, or do you want a musician live? Links We Referenced instagram.com/emeraldcityband (https://www.instagram.com/emeraldcityband/) instagram.com/downtownfever (https://www.instagram.com/downtownfever/) instagram.com/pmbanddallas (https://www.instagram.com/pmbanddallas/) instagram.com/elevationpartyband (https://www.instagram.com/elevationpartyband/) ecbands.com (https://ecbands.com/) youtu.be/kIJF6QAa6O0 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIJF6QAa6O0&feature=youtu.be) deno@emeraldcityband.com Quotes “You have to be able to have a big playlist - now we’re not Spotify we’re not going to do 2,000 songs - but we’ve picked the best of the best.” - Deno “[...] Our bands don’t just start playing and just hope that people are gonna [say], ‘Oh it’s time to start. Set starts at 8 o’clock, go.’ It’s different. There’s the connection between the band and the leader of the band, specifically, and the audience working together to all party together. It’s just the difference between a group of musicians who may be very talented playing songs and one of our bands creating a party. It’s as simple as that.” - Carl Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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Real wedding retrospectives with couples fresh off their wedding planning journey is so much fun! Their crisp memories about the wedding gets you so excited about your own wedding. On today's episode of the podcast Michelle is connecting with Averi Harper and her husband Ken Robinson. Averi is a journalist for ABC News and has been an avid listner of the podcast. She and her husband Ken live in New York city and customized their wedding, adding some beautiful traditions and so much fun to the event that the party went well into the early hours of the morning. Can you say after party?! Listen to their journey of hiring a wedding coordinator, to why they chose their venue, and eventually having their wedding picked up by the NYTimes! Big Takeaways Their wedding was a night because there was another wedding during the day attheirvenue. People are planning wayyyy in advance, and at the end of the day, that was the time they could get. Ceremony was at 7, and last dance was at 1am. They had a DJ While most o fthe planning was done by Averi and her crew, they did have a month of coordinator - who stepped into really take the reins on the day of. Ken is a chef, and they customized their own menu with lots of options fo reveryone. During cocktail hour, they had passed apps and stations available. They did a first look Ken hired a Groom Concierge- Cameron from Fontaine Concierge Cultural aspects were very important for their ceremony. Steel band during cocktail reception JumptheBroomstick Moko Jumbies (stiltwalkers) DIY Favors - rumcake,etc After the wedding, they read their written vows to each other in private. During the ceremony, they couldn’t find their vows and so they had to improvise a bit. Links We Referenced instagram.com/averiharper (https://www.instagram.com/averiharper/) flowerfield.com (https://flowerfield.com) https://www.fontaineconcierge.com/ (https://www.fontaineconcierge.com) https://www.amerisierevents.com/ (https://www.amerisierevents.com) www.fetefone.com (https://www.fetefone.com) Quotes “In defiance of everything I have heard on your podcast, about setting your budget first, I can’t say that we had a number or a budget that we stuck to.” - Averi “Listen, I had heard so many brides, and so many grooms say that they had not eaten on their wedding day, I was determined.” - Averi “It was still a shock to see her all in her wedding dress, and all those things and all that. But it did make coming down the aisle and all that a little easier.” - Ken “You cried, you forgot to mention you cried.” - Averi “I listened to the episode about a groom’s concierge, and the interview you guys did with him. And I always said, well that’d be really nice, but that really feels like something that’s so luxurious and so out of the question for us. But it would be great to have someone to keep Ken on track, because Ken is a wanderer. He will get very distracted, very easily but Cameron [the Groomsmen Concierge] was there to make sure all the groomsmen were, you know, on their best behavior. And so I am grateful for that.” - Averi Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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Birdy Grey was founded in 2017 in Los Angeles by digital marketing, social content and branding expert Grace Lee. Lee has 13+ years of experience working for top female brands in fashion and beauty including InStyle, Kate Spade, Stila Cosmetics and Kate Somerville Skincare. Having been a bridesmaid six times herself, she personally knew how fun (but damn expensive) being a bridesmaid could be. She saw an opportunity for aspirational bridesmaid dresses at affordable prices, and so Birdy Grey was born. Based in Los Angeles, Grace combines her expertise in fashion with her love for digital storytelling and all-things bridal to make Birdy Grey one of the fastest-growing bridal brands today. Now, Grace is getting married! With a new perspective on weddings, she joins us to talk about her big day, the planning process and all the in-betweens. *Big Takeaways * In finding an officiant, Michelle recommends Unboring Wedding Academy to make sure whoever she chooses to officiate can really make the perfect day. For wedding invitations, Grace decided to use digital invites with a wedding website. Then, she sent out a beautiful informational card to those who RSVP’d yes. That way it was useful, and not wasteful. Although a large part of their families can’t make it over to the states for the wedding, they do intend to travel to Asia and have a second wedding there. They have opted to not have a virtual component because of the time difference, and the ability to travel once things have cooled down with the pandemic. While their wedding venue is very classic, they are mixing classic and modern for the design. Blue and grey are their main colors. They plan to have an installation, and an instagram backdrop lounge where people can take photos and hang out. They intend to rent furniture and again mix vintage with more modern. Grace highly recommends a wedding photographer, and creating a shot list well before the big day. That way you can work with them to get all the beautiful photos you are really wanting. Links We Referenced birdygrey.com (https://www.birdygrey.com) The Big Wedding Planning Podcast: Episode 144 (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/episodes/1r88f26ohuuyqsksn5zw4e662nfbsj?rq=144) unboringwedding.com (https://unboringwedding.com) withjoy.com (https://withjoy.com) wedfuly.com (https://www.wedfuly.com) Rosewood Hotels (https://www.rosewoodhotels.com/en/miramar-beach-montecito) suitshop.com (https://suitshop.com) carolinetran.net (https://carolinetran.net) @birdygrey Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/birdygrey/) Quotes _“Had I gotten married 10 years ago, I feel like my bridal party would be quadruple the size. But at this point, I have a maid of honor, and a bridesmaid - so we have two people in our bridal party - and we have our nieces and nephews, who are like flower girls and junior bridesmaids and little flower boys.” - Grace “I have always understood wedding planning, and we are very much in the wedding industry and we have worked with brides day and day out. But I think planning a wedding has made me realize, I am more in the apparel industry versus wedding industry. Now that I am getting married myself, I feel like a true expert on how things should be done and/or what our brides are going through. And so it’s definitely given me a better perspective.” - Grace “No one teaches you how to plan a wedding, because, you know, for a lot of people you do it once, perhaps twice in your life.” - Grace _ Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Grace Lee.

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After many hours of contemplation, considering, and real reflection, Christy has decided to step out and away from weddings, events, and podcasting. This is her last episode, and while we are so sad to see her go, we know she has great and beautiful things ahead of her. Christy shares her favorite experiences on the podcast, her love for Michelle, and what lies ahead for her. Question #1: My question might pertain more to Michelle than Christy, but here it goes: My partner and I have been together for a decade and we're finally getting married in May of 2022 in Mexico City. I've always wanted a destination wedding weekend, and I'm so excited to have it in a city as opposed to on a beach resort. However, I'm a little torn on what to do about the hotels: We had originally planned on getting a few different hotel blocks in the central neighborhoods of La Roma and Condesa – which we love – but most hotels are small/ boutique-sized. We are also considering a bigger block at a large hotel (Sofitel Reforma), staying there ourselves, and encouraging guests to stay there as well. The big hotel is the same distance to the venue in Juarez, roughly 10 min, as the boutique one(s). Seeing as most people are coming from the states, and may not have been to Mexico City before, would you recommend limiting options and encouraging guests to stay together at the large hotel (for ease of transportation, etc)? Or do you think most people will prefer the charm of the smaller hotels and don't mind being scattered? We plan to provide a few different price points for people, but generally, luxury hotels in CDMX are cheaper than those in the U.S. Answer #1: For your American guests, having a property like Sofitel is going to be a better option. It’s in a good location, and it’s a familiar name. One big block in a central location is a great start. If you are going to be providing transportation to and from the wedding, it also is so much better to have everyone staying at the same property. If anyone else wants to stay in another area, let them figure it out themselves. In general, having everything simplified with a destination wedding is always a better choice. If people decide to branch out, then just make sure they know when and where to be and they will be! Question #2: I have an invitation etiquette question! A bit of context: My fiancé and I are paying for the majority of the wedding and keeping the price to ourselves. My parents are divorced and have been for over 20 years. It wasn’t always civil, but it’s much better now and everyone gets along. Mostly. My dad is contributing a generous amount. And my stepmom has been in my life for 18 years. My dad will most likely play host as we’re getting married at the venue he and my stepmom got married at 14 years ago. I love my mom and she’s contributing in any way she can. Leaving her off wouldn’t feel okay. And my fiancé’s parents are paying for a pretty extravagant rehearsal dinner for 50+ people, so having them on feels right too. The complication is my step dad. He’s a nice guy. But he’s only been around officially for the past 4 years. He and my mom have been off and on since BEFORE my parents were divorced (as in while my parents were married way back when) and while I’m sure things will remain civil at the wedding, it will be the first time my dad and stepdad are meeting after all of these years and my dad essentially holds my stepdad responsible for ruining our family. Regardless, leaving him off feels very blatantly like leaving someone off given how many people we’re including. And putting him on the invitation feels completely wrong. I look forward to building my relationship with the man my mom has loved for so long, but honoring him on the invitation just doesn’t feel right. So what do we do? Do we include all parents except my stepdad even though my mom is remarried? It doesn’t feel right to have him on there and it feels like a massive disrespect to my dad. But it feels disrespectful to my mom and my stepdad to leave him off. And leaving off all parents doesn’t feel right because they’re helping with the wedding and honestly, we want to honor them and say thank you. Any advice on what to do and invitation phrasing would be much appreciated!! It’s black tie, so a formal, traditional invitation wording. Answer #2: You are definitely overthinking this. You are starting something together with your partner. It is not about your parents divorce, or your mom’s husband or anything. You gotta include all the parents on there. It’s not that big of a honor, truly. You dad is the one who is walking you down the aisle, giving you away, and giving a toast, etc. Intentionally not including him could cause so many more problems than you need. At some point you just have to let it go. None of this drama has to do with your marriage, remember that! Michelle also says, since she is not a traditional person in anyway, she might not have the best traditional advice. Try something like this: Together with their parents, Miss _ and Miss request the honor of your presence at . It can still look fancy and black tie. If you end up listing out everyone except your step-dad, it will cause more feelings and drama. If you are going to list everyone, list everyone. Or condense it down to “parents” and call it a day! There are MANY other ways to honor your parents. Personal letters, toasts, special moments on the day-of. It doesn’t have to be the invitation. Links We Referenced emilypost.com/shop/books/emily-posts-wedding-etiquette-6th-edition (https://emilypost.com/shop/books/emily-posts-wedding-etiquette-6th-edition) We're able to produce this podcast because of YOUR support. If you want to become a Patron (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast), and get exclusive access to our monthly newsletter, bonus episodes, and more, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)! A giant thank you to all of our Patrons, who help keep this podcast running! Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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This week's episode is a fan favorite. We almost never share repeats, but this episode (originally #94) has a new intro and is a top 10 favorite on all the things you need to know about planning your wedding. We're getting personal about what we really think about our clients, talking about the things that drive us crazy, and what we wish more people knew. Get ready because we're going to tell you everything so buckle up. Big Takeaways: Listen to the episode for our elaborations! Come Prepared to a wedding meeting. Especially if it’s an initial consultation. Look at the vendor’s website at the VERY least. Communication is VITAL. We’re talking about between the client and planner, but it goes for life generally too. Be open, be honest. Make decisions! In a timely fashion. When you hem-and-haw, you frustrate everyone and you slow down the process of wedding planning. Yes, there are big decisions...there are also deadlines. Embrace the deadlines Once you find what you are looking for, stop looking. Instead of a hard number for your budget, have a range. Make sure you have the funds for the TOP of your budget range. You don’t need to let your vendors in on your entire decision-making process. Vendors need final decisions. Emailing them everytime you change your mind is probably not necessary and could muddle and confuse things. Keep it simple. Be smart about how you display your seating assignments! And don’t worry if someone cancels the day before the wedding...no need to mark up that perfect seating chart sign that you printed. BUFFER time. Know it, love it. You need it. Definitely consider the hair/makeup micro-timeline, and definitely consider the shuttle/transportation schedule. Be prepared for an extra 10-30 minutes of buffer time. Hair and Makeup stylist should stay past the ceremony if possible! Embrace every moment. This is a challenge, so choose to practice mindfulness during the wedding planning process so that you are ready to live in the moment on your wedding day! Your wedding party shouldn’t act like assholes to your wedding planner. Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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After years of listening to the show Michelle Dobbs reached out to Christy for a wedding planning consultation regarding her cocktail style wedding reception. If you’ve never heard of this kind of wedding, you’re not alone. There's no sit down dinner and well you’re pretty much just throwing out the rulebook, so if you make the decision to have this kind of wedding reception then you’d had better be ready to JUST DO IT! This episode is all about the planning, execution and retrospective take-aways after the big day. Big Takeaways * For a cocktail style event/wedding, have something that happens every 30-minutes or so. It can just be an announcement, or something bigger, but it helps with the passage of time. * For seating: set it up like you would see at a bar or restaurant so it encourages people to not settle down on to one table, but to move around and sit where they want. * Writing your own vows and privately sharing them was a huge relief and felt very intimate. * We wrote a note to each couple/guest and had them exchange that note for a polaroid picture and we had them take an extra polaroid to take home. This ended up being one of our favorite parts of the day. Guests loved it - it's what most ppl posted on FB and IG that night! Variety of seating * I think this is the biggest reason the cocktail vibe worked. And it totally did! No one picked a table and camped out, actually - lots of moving around. Some cocktail tables had barstools and they were a huge hit. * I also added a note in the invites on what to expect and I think that really helped people get it. * People loved the tray - pass drinks. * I did end up doing the "order of events" sign - Icalled it "here's the plan" which people complimented because that's so me, which was fun. And I think that helped people know what food was when and what to look forward to * Speeches were my favorite part and we took a note from Christy in that we let everyone who wanted to speak go for it. We had 5 speeches total and it was amazing. * Something I didn't do and really needed to - I did not make a list of formal photos I wanted and only scheduled one hour for those with no hair/makeup buffer. So we ended up starting pics at 4:30 because hair/makeup ran late duh! and ended up with very few posed pictures and honestly we really did want these. Jessica’s Takeaways (after the wedding) : * Everyone says the day goes by so fast. I had no idea! * There is a lot I didn't see. * I was present for every conversation I had but not much else. If I could go back I would be more intentional about building in time to see the reception space and take a moment to take a deep breath and really take it in rather than just keep moving. * We eloped last year and this was our reception/one-year anniversary celebration. And I just want to say this should really be a thing people do outside of a pandemic! It's what we wanted to do initially but didn't because we didn't know logistically how it would work, if people would get it, and if it would seem like rude? In the end, we did exactly what we wanted and the benefits were so much more than we could have imagined. * We wrote our own vows and since we read them to each other without a bigaudience, we wrote exactly what we wanted to say. Without worrying about if the other person would be funnier, or more romantic, or write way more or less. We enjoyed each other all day and it was the most romantic and connected either of us had ever felt. * Get married andcelebrate in a way that works for you! * At the end of the day, it'll be you and your partner at home holding on to those memories. Links We Referenced manscaped.com (https://www.manscaped.com) aisleplanner.com (https://aisleplanner.com) Quotes _ “For us, we wrote our own vows. And since we got to read them, just to each other, without a big audience, we wrote exactly what we wanted to say. Without worrying about if the other person would be funnier, or more romantic, or write way less or way more.” _- Jessica “If I walk into a party, I am pretty anxious about what is the expectation of me? And also, when do I get to eat?” - Jessica “ It was more amazing to have all of our people in one place. [...] I felt like beaming love towards us. That was more incredible than I could have expected, because you’re not in ever that situation really. There’s no other time.” - Jessica Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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For many people it's daunting to think about the design process for their wedding. You’d think it be as simple as picking some colors and tying some bow, right? On today’s show, Christy and Michelle connect with Birch Event Design, a high-end production design and floral installation company that brings awe-inspiring moments to life. As experienced creators, Birch’s goal is to discover what inspires their clients and design an immersive world that perfectly expresses that energy. At every stage their team works hand in hand with clients to elevate their event to the highest level. Founder Josh Spiegel has done over 3000 events— weddings, milestone moments, corporate affairs, soirées, installations— and is consistently transforming raw spaces into breathtaking ballrooms, eyesore counters into eye-popping tablescapes, and bare-as-bone poles into effervescent fairylands. Birch Event Design has been featured in Brides, The New York Times, and People Magazine. While not everyone can have a million dollar wedding, Josh shares his suggestions to make any budget feel big, beautiful, and budget-less. Big Takeaways * How to get big looks with a budget * Whatever you do, do in the masses. * It doesn’t have to be made of the most expensive materials. * Anything in abundance creates a wow factor. * Candles give you a lot of bang for your buck! * Use different variations of anamazing item you love. * Don’t try to mix all the ideas. Find the ones of whichy ou can get the most and you love the most. * Uses of twhitelighting, not colored lighting. * Down lighting can really look more romantic than uplighting. * Go where thepicture takes you. * Spend where it is going to be seen! - * Look for hacks on TikTok. * Recycle the old! * Find something you love and make it your own. * SPRAY PAINT anything/everything! * There are no rules. Links We Referenced manscaped.com (manscaped.com) birchevents.com (https://birchevents.com) instagram.com/bircheventdesign TikTok: @bircheventdesign (https://www.tiktok.com/@bircheventdesign?) rentmywedding.com (https://rentmywedding.com) Quotes “And one door just opened the next, and opened the next, and opened the next, and I said yes to every single one. And years later, after much trial and tribulation, much debt, much craziness, much learning how to become a business man, much learning how to run a company, much learning how to take something and make it profitable, and making tons of mistakes in my personal life and my business life, I’m proud to say that I survived it all. And Birch is flourishing, and it’s an unbelievable, humbling - even as I am saying it now, I’m like ‘holy shit what am I saying?’ - This is so cool. But that’s how I am here today.” - Josh “I want people to walk in and say, ‘oh, that’s so them.’ Not, ‘that’s so Birch.’” - Josh “Take what you can and make the most out of it. Take the idea you’ve seen before. Take the concept that you love. Steal it. Make it your own. Edit it, to where it becomes your vision as opposed to the vision you saw, within your budget. So it maximizes that and it irons that dollar out so thin, that it’s almost see-through. That’s our job. Our job is to make the wedding not feel like it was ever on a budget, regardless of how much they’ve spent.” - Josh Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Josh Spiegel.

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Choosing a wedding party can be an honor but sometimes it's D.R.A.M.A! It's not always an easy relationship to assign and people tend to put some really high expectations for on those fulfilling these roles. Things don't always turn out the way you hoped, causing tears to be shed and friendships to be dismantled. Enter in Bridesmaid For Hire. On today's show Christy and Michelle connect with Jen Glantz, Jen Glantz is the founder of the viral business, Bridesmaid for Hire, the creator of the project, Finally the Bride, the voice of the podcast, You're Not Getting Any Younger, the founder of the coaching business, Jen & Juice, and the author of the Amazon-bestselling books, All My Friends are Engaged, & Always a Bridesmaid for Hire, published by Simon and Schuster. Bridesmaid for Hire has been featured on more than 500 media outlets around the world, including TODAY Show, Good Morning America, FOX News, and CNN, and Jen serves as a recurring wedding and bridesmaid expert for media on a weekly basis. Big Takeaways There is a lot of weight put on the role of bridesmaid. And often, there can be a lot of drama that mixes into the equation. It’s a big, emotional event, and things rise up to the top. People tend to hire Jen for two major reasons: they don’t really have close friends, and want someone to come in and act the role of bridesmaid, or they need someone to come in and sort of bring calmness to a messy team of bridesmaids and their drama. The job of groomsmen and bridesmaids starts months before the wedding. Jen loves getting to the deep, emotional stuff quickly. She is able to bond quickly, and help the bride or groom feel seen and heard. She also runs interference between people so the couple doesn’t have to deal with the stress of that. Tips for the wedding party: * The morning is NOT about you. * Let it go,and move on. * If you’re not happy, don’t bring it up. * If something is going wrong, and you notice it, do NOT tell the bride. * Tell the wedding planner, tell a family member, etc. * Keep it calm. * It’s a big day, ease into it. * Having zero pressure to entertain is so important. * Just be a GOOD friend, in the best way possible. * Have some separate spaces for getting ready, if possible. Go-To Pep Talk Ideas: Ditch the motivation, get real What are the options right now? Just listen, ask questions, and help them see how irrational they are being. It really helps Links we Referenced bridesmaidforhire.com/hire-jen/ (https://bridesmaidforhire.com/hire-jen/) instagram.com/bridesmaidforhire (https://www.instagram.com/bridesmaidforhire/) instagram.com/jenglantz (https://www.instagram.com/jenglantz/) manscaped.com (https://www.manscaped.com/) Quotes “Dynamics between people are interesting. And the role of a bridesmaid, a groomsmaid, what ever you want to call it, is so interesting because people agree to take on this role without ever really knowing what it means.” - Jen “Most people at a wedding aren’t looking to spot a hired bridesmaid, so it’s not obvious. And if I messed up on something or I say something wrong, think about it, at weddings you’re not really engaging in conversation with a lot of people that deep. [...] We keep it surface level, I flip it on them, and we move on.” - Jen “Please do not trust any of your vendors, except for the wedding planner, about the timeline. Because every vendor cares about them and their service, not what time the wedding starts.” - Jen “People think they have to do all of these things. You don’t have to do any of it. You really don’t. Do only what you really want.” - Jen Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Jen Glantz.

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Every month, Christy and Michelle spend time reading through hundreds of emails and listening to voicemails from podcast listeners. You Ask, We Answer Episodes are a listeners treat as they spend some time answering your questions. Question 1: My fiancé and I are having trouble figuring out how to find a good DJ. Music is one of our top priorities for our wedding. We have yet to hear a DJ that we’ve loved. In fact, most have made us cringe. How do we go about finding a DJ that we like? With other vendors, we’re able to see a few full albums of photos, see their floral arrangements, have a tasting of food, but with a DJ you can’t watch videos of full sets. We’ve been part of wedding parties where the couple is sooo excited for their DJ and when the wedding happens cringe songs like “sexy and I know it” are played, it’s all the same music we heard at the last wedding we attended (we’ve had enough of “single ladies”), or the DJ/MC are obnoxious. We’ve had discussions about whether we even need a DJ because we know the music we want and we have not liked all the ones we’ve seen, but ultimately, we don’t want either of us to be responsible for coordinating the music/dances, troubleshooting issues that may come up with a sound system, etc. on our wedding day. Any advice you can give us would be really appreciated! Answer 1: Music is such a personal thing. Sometimes, the music you consider cringe is exactly what will get your aunt up and dancing and creating magical moments. That said, finding the right music is definitely one of the hardest parts of the planning process. A club DJ is not the same as a wedding DJ. Remember, there are parts of a wedding that are standard for a wedding. It is very different. It might be important to open your mind a little bit to different kinds of music. Not everyone likes the same kind of music. Check out The Flash Dance DJs - they travel. Michelle has had so many positive experiences with them, and see entire rooms up on their feet dancing. They know what they’re doing! If your idea is curating a playlist and having it play song by song, then don’t hire a DJ, maybe hired a sound tech and an MC. There is an episode about how to DJ your own wedding (#46). Question 2: My daughter will be 15 when my fiancé and I walk down the aisle. She is currently expressing interest in wanting to be my Maid of Honor and not just a bridesmaid. It would mean the world to me to have her in that position but I am afraid she would be biting off more than she can chew. I have told her some of the tasks associated with being a MOH but I am sure I have not thought of some. What are the typical (and not typical) MOH duties for a wedding? I was already planning on paying for a chunk of the bachelorette party, but wasn't planning on paying for the bridal shower. I was thinking of maybe asking the other two women who I want to be bridesmaids to help my daughter in her tasks, but I'm not sure that would be fair to any of them. Thoughts? Answer 2: We love the idea and think you should make it work! People come and go in life, but your daughter will always be your daughter. As far as tasks and obligations go, the role is not written in stone. Things have morphed and changed so much. A lot of time the maid of honor is just a title or toast, and the whole wedding party takes on the jobs. It doesn’t have to strictly be up the MOH to do all the typical tasks. You can figure out, with her, what she can do and what the bridesmaids can do. Maybe you could have two MOHs! Co-Maid of Honors. If you have an adult who was already planning on taking on financial tasks, and planning, have her be the MOH with your daughter. Maybe even Senior MOH and Junior MOH. Question 3: My partner and I are planning a wedding for October 2022. I originally wanted to elope to avoid a bigger wedding as I find large groups to be overwhelming. He is very extroverted, comes from a large family that is very close and also has several friends that he feels must be there. I have very few people that I wanted to invite, only immediate family and a few close friends. After much discussion we settled on a list of 100 people. As we get closer I am feeling intensely overwhelmed at the thought of saying vows in front of so many people—many of whom I am not close to. As a compromise, we are considering turning our welcome dinner on Friday into a wedding ceremony with family and wedding party only, about 50 guests, and then having our larger reception the next day with 110-120 people. Is this something you have seen done before? My main concern is that people only invited to the reception will feel slighted or be less likely to come as they are not invited to the ceremony. Do you think it would be appropriate to do it this way? I am trying my best to make this situation feel comfortable for myself so I can enjoy marrying my partner while still making sure he feels celebrated in a way that is meaningful to him. Hoping I don’t upset too many people in the process! Answer 3: This is completely okay! In fact, many people chose to do this. Not just because of the social anxiety. Sometimes it’s an even smaller group of people, as well. You are going to be giving people a party! There is no reason to torture yourself! Enjoy your day in a way that feels so good for you both. We have also worked with couples that have exchanged vows with only the officiant, the photographer, and themselves. And then they have the big party afterwards. Take a look at what part of the vows is making your nervous. Is it the saying your own written words aloud? Because you could still have a ceremony that is a quick, no personal speech part. There are things that happen at a wedding reception that make it more than just a party. Speeches, first dances, etc. Question 4: Is anyone having trouble with hair and makeup? I have seven girls I need to get ready the morning of. I was planning on having stylists come on- site so we don't have to worry about driving back and forth, but every stylist I've consulted doesn't get back with me. One of my bridesmaids is suggesting we all go to a salon the morning of. Is it better to leave the ceremony preparation area to drive a half hour there and a half hour back to a salon as opposed to having stylists come to us? I was just in a wedding where we had to go to a salon to get ready, and we nearly missed the ceremony start time. Makes me so nervous. Answer 4: You want the stylist to come to you. Especially with seven people. Although, if you are going to a salon, and you can all get done at the same time, that would be helpful! But that is rare. You have to put a huge chunk of time into hair and makeup on the wedding day. Typically, it takes at least 30 minutes for non-brides and that doesn’t include the chatting, and setting up. Same with make-up. So each woman needs an hour. And the Bride needs 90 minutes to 2 hours. A half hour drive is not horrible, but it’s not great. If your ceremony starts at like 4, it could work. But if its’s starting at 1 or so, that is going to be so stressful. Either choice, create a schedule. In terms of them not calling you back, it is an absolutely crazy time for weddings. They are probably booked if you aren’t hearing anything. Stylists are one of the professions that are very word of mouth heavy. You may have to widen your search. Start with someone that is amazing for yourself, you are the most important one. You get the pro, and if you have to put an ad on craigslist or ask a friend to do the bridesmaids’ makeup and hair. Links We Referenced The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com) Use Discount Code: THANKS2021 for $150 off at Checkout. theflashdance.com (https://www.theflashdance.com) myneonstore.com (https://myneonstore.com) (35% off with code BIGWEDDING - expires 12/1/2021) zola.com/bigwedding (https://welcome.zola.com/allproducts_alldevices_50/?pkey=bigweddingpod&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=bigwedding&)(50% of Save the Dates - SAVE50) manlybands.com/bigwedding (https://manlybands.com/?utm_content=bigwedding&utm_source=veritone&utm_medium=podcast&utm_term=january&utm_campaign=podcast) (Use promo code BIGWEDDING for 25% off through cyber Monday!) We're able to produce this podcast because of YOUR support. If you want to become a Patron (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast), and get exclusive access to our monthly newsletter, bonus episodes, and more, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)! A giant thank you to all of our Patrons, who help keep this podcast running! Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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David Tutera and Joey Toth are co-hosts, and producers of the David Tutera Experience. The goal of the experience is to educate, inspire, and motivate people within and adjacent to the event planning industry. Together, they have learned to work through their issues in efficient ways so they can show up as their best selves in public spaces. Big Takeaways * Be open to things that challenge your process and try toa tleast see their perspectives. * Remember to rest after big events (like your wedding!) * There is so much work that goes into the big day, and it's totally natural to want to shut off afterwards. * It's ok to disagree. * Stay groudned * The trick to a great planner is to have fun! If they aren't having fun, then maybe that planner isn't who you should be working with. * Obviously there are hard moments, but overall this is an exciting thing! * Remember it's about love. Not having everything perfect. * 75%-80% of events and weddings will have some sort of issue come up. It's an emotional dynamic and can cause waves. * Let your differences help your success. * A big pucture and small pictuer person together can get amazing things done! * Talk. Ask questions. You don't have to agree, you just have ot know how to communicate! * Acknowledge pride with your partner Quotes “Myself and Joey, both, are keynote speakers. We come from two perspective places, and our attendees leave filled with joy and love and excitement and energy and positivity. When we let them go, it’s like we’re letting our children leave, and [...] sending them off to their first day of school.” - David “We show up open for what we’re doing. We take it all in. It is a huge emotional exchange, and drain in some areas. But it’s also an emotional fulfillment of seeing that excitement, [...] you see these people are bubbling. And so excited and have so much energy. It shares back to us to help propel us through it. Then when it’s all said and done, and get back on the airplane, and hop home, it’s exhausted.” - Joey “This is really, for some couples, the first time they ‘work’ together on a project. Planning a wedding is totally project management.” - Michelle “As you know, as both planners and us as being involved with people’s personal lives, we have to step in and try to soften the environment. We may not fix it, but we may be able to help it.” - David Links We Referenced davidtutera.com (https://davidtutera.com) Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: David Tutera.

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How important are wedding flowers? We're pretty sure you'd agree they're a huge part of your decor, right? Yet is it really, totally, and absolutely necessary to use live flowers? “Say whaat? Fake flowers? No way!” But wait, we're not talking about the kind of faux flowers you’d find at your local craft store. On today’s show Christy and Michelle are talking to a Megan and Amanda Rapacz, sisters and co-founders of Silk Stem collective , a silk flower rental company that offers a menu of options for you to choose from. Their model of rent, use, and return isn’t only sustainable it’s quite savvy don’t you think? You’ll also hear from Maria, a wedding planner from Kara Mia Events as the ladies chat it up and discuss manufactured wood flowers. The discussion leads to fresh vs fake flowers, sustainability in the wedding industry, and how to make the right choice for your big day. Ready? Set. Learn. Big Takeaways * There are ways to sustainably source and dispose of real cut flowers. * Look for locally grown, in- season flowers. * Use them without flower foam. * Arrange to have them donated or composted at the end of the day. However, sometimes there isn’t a viable option with travel, guests having allergies to flowers, not having a proper way to dispose of them, etc. * And if you want to keep the flowers having the sola wood option means you can keep them forever or even use them again. * There is definitely a craftsmanship with florists. This isn’t to say you can’t DIY, but when you really want something perfect, the extra cost of a florist can absolutely be worth it. * With Silk Stem, they do make the arrangements for you. They have multiple collections you can choose from. This can really help you match colors and see exactly what you’re getting when you order. * Another benefit of these flowers is that they will still look good a day later. If dates are changing, or you have two day photoshoots, you know for sure these flowers will still look fresh and new. * Basically - as Maria said - there is no one size fits all. And if you’re thinking of alternatives to fresh flowers for your wedding - both fabric and sola wood are options you can consider. * What do you like the look of? * Order samples? * What can you afford? * What do you want to do with it afterwards? * And remember - aiming for a green wedding is not an all or nothing endeavor. * You don’t need to feel overwhelmed by the prospects and options - there are ways to zero in on one element and make that a more sustainable option for your wedding. * There is a lot of fear around faux flowers. If you are on the fence, order a sample! Links We Referenced greenweddingguild.com (https://www.greenweddingguild.com) karamiaevents.com (https://www.karamiaevents.com) instagram.com/greenweddingguild (https://www.instagram.com/greenweddingguild/) facebook.com/greenweddingguild (https://www.facebook.com/greenweddingguild) silkstemcollective.com (https://silkstemcollective.com) (Use Code: PODCAST20 for 20% of $200+ and free shipping) instagram.com/silkstemcollective (https://www.instagram.com/silkstemcollective/) Quotes “There is no one size fits all option. Everyone is going to have a different take on what they prefer. This one happened to work for me, and I liked it. I am sure there are others that will feel the same way.” - Maria “There isn’t an easy way for a florist to show you exactly what you are going to get on your wedding day. Flower availability changes. Flowers are in and out of season. They can make great recommendations, and you can give them a great inspiration board. But at the end of the day, you don’t know what you are going to get until the actual day of your wedding, right?” - Amanda “It worked so well for us, and for our wedding. That easily transitioned into a business, because I felt so passionately that other people would love this too. Other people also don’t want to spend $2000 on flowers. Other people also want really beautiful floral options that don’t look plasticy, and look like real flowers.” - Megan Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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We talk a lot about wedding gown shopping on the show. It's a process, which for many, is something really fun! Yet believe it or not, there are some brides who just don't look forward to the shopping process at all and would simply rather not do it. On today's show Michelle connects with Lillian Hung, owner of Lyra Vega Bridal; a direct to consumer online bridal line built to bring high quality yet affordable gowns to modern brides. Michelle met Lillian on Clubhouse and instantly new bringing her on the show would offer listeners a cool new concept. Especially because Lyra Vega Bridal, is focused on empowering women to make smart choices with their big day, rather than blindly following tradition. Big Takeaways Planning * Budget: Attire typically accounts for 5% of youroverall wedding budget. How you wish to spend your budget is up to you! Timeline * 15-10 months-do your research, set your budget, and start the searchf or your wedding gown * 9 months-given the wide range in the time it takes for a gown to arrive (average4-8 months), you will want to finalize your decision around the 9 month mark. Research Seek Within First: BEFORE you throw yourself into the sea of information that is the internet, take a look at your own closet or other gowns that you’ve worn in the past first (hello long forgotten prom dress!). This will help you get an idea of what styles and shapes make you feel the best,what’s worked and what hasn't. Give yourself a mental frame work based on what you know about your dressing habits and what have proved to be flattering on you. Pay attention to shapes (bodyhugging,a-line), fabrics (flowy,structured), embellishments (florals, bling, minimal), details (sleeves, necklines), etc. Start Browsing Start with trends articles on reputable publications to get your brain started on some style ideas. This will give you more up to date and organized compilations than generically searching for “wedding dresses”. When you see some thing that catches, take a moment to understand what you like about it. Use those details as keywords to find others that you might like! Keep Track of Your Research: Whether its having a dedicated wedding dress pin board or a saved folder on IG, you’ll thank us later when you can find all your wedding dress musings in one place. Screenshots won’t work unless you drop them into a dedicated album right away. Action BookYourVenue Securing your venue before buying a dress wil lhelp you visualize your day and how you want to dress for it! Because your venue will be the backdrop to everything, you will want to pick a dress that doesn’t feel out of place. Examine Your Research * Look at everything you’ve collected and try to find the patterns of what you like. Are you a minimal bride that wants a simple sheath dress? Or are all your pins ball gowns encrusted in jewels? * You should be able to narrow in on a handful of styles you might be interested in. Decision * When it comes to sizing, Lyra offers made to measure gowns, no sizes on the site. This helps make sure each dress fits each body and reduces the need for excessive tailoring. * One thing to keep in mind when going a typical gown shopping route is that you are likely going to need to plan on spending an extra $300-500 on tailoring. * Every body is different and unique and it is your wedding day. * Find the dress that excites you and wear it. * Rules about shapes and what you can and cannot do are made up! * Ultimately it’s all about what makes you feel good, and that confidence will make you shine. Quotes “I think when it came to the bridal industry, the biggest innovation was the styles and nothing else. That was the only place where we were finding innovation and doing things differently, exploring our creativity. Whereas the entire process stayed like how our grandmothers shopped for wedding dresses.” - Lilian “People are so ready to have fun and do something really joyful. People are taking bigger style risks, when it comes to their wedding style even. And just doing something a little more out of the box than pre-pandemic when people wanted to stay more classic and safe. I feel like after having been cooped up for a year, people are just ready to party” - Lilian “I get asked a lot this question of ‘what body shape fits in what style of gown?’ And I just feel like that is a lie that it’s time we break through that. And we should just be able to wear whatever we want to wear and feel good in it.” - Lilian “At the end of the day, it really is about you owning it and owning the moment. And the confidence carries very far. Wear the dress, don’t let the dress wear you.” - Lilian “At the end of the day, it really is about you and your significant other. Just really bring it back to the basics, and stay true to who you are as a couple, and make your decisions accordingly.” - Lilian Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. Links We Referenced lyravegabridal.com (https://www.lyravegabridal.com) (Use Code BIGWEDDING for $50 off any one gown) youtube.com/channel/UCexH-nJRE2SWQRvLJuaw0Xg (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCexH-nJRE2SWQRvLJuaw0Xg) twitter.com/lyravegabridal (https://twitter.com/lyravegabridal) instagram.com/lyravegabridal (https://www.instagram.com/lyravegabridal/) pinterest.com/lyravegabridal/_created (https://www.pinterest.com/lyravegabridal/) facebook.com/lyravegabridal (https://www.facebook.com/lyravegabridal) The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Lillian Huang.

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Our monthly YAWA episode - when Michelle and Christy answer all the pressing questions you want answers to. This month's questions are definitely going to take you across a few different spectrums from the challenges the grandparents you love pose, all the way to Destination Weddings. Question 1: How do I deal with a grandparent who doesn’t seem to want to listen to our needs and requests? I.e.: not respecting no photography rules, getting in people’s faces and way. Do you guys have any advice on how to deal with family dynamics like this? Not inviting him really isn’t an option, because that would cause even more drama. Anything would be much appreciated! Answer 1: You have to talk to him. Make it a positive! We don’t want you to be distracted, etc. What about asking him to do an “engagement shoot” of you and your fiancé before the wedding? And you can feature his pictures at the wedding! Maybe he’s socially awkward and needs that camera as a crutch. Question 2: My fiancé (35M) and I (30F) finally decided on a venue that we wanted. The date we want (a Thursday in June) was available at an amazing venue in Key West. So a destination wedding. We were very excited to get moving with some real tangible plans. After reviewing their required/ preferred vendors list. Just after the caterer our budget is hit. The budget I'd like to stick to is 15,000- 20,000 absolute max. After emailing the the venue wedding planners, asking them for advice to keep the wedding within budget I got the following response. "Well another option could be to have the wedding ceremony here and maybe have a reception at a restaurant? They tend to be a bit cheaper. For 50-60 people this will definitely bring you to the top of your budget with food and alcohol. Maybe inquire with Bagatelle or first flight they will be able to accommodate your size party and might be able to keep you on budget? " I guess, I just don't understand how I could have saved up so much money and that can't cover a reasonably small party. Personally, I don't like the idea of leaving the venue for a dinner reception. I went on Wedding Report for my town and it says that based on the answers I gave I could achieve a wedding around 18k-25k for 75-100people. My fiancé doesn't want to get married here, so that doesn't really feel like a back up plan. Should I keep pricing things out in Key West? Thanks for at least letting me vent a little. Answer 2: Destination weddings are typically expensive. If you love this venue that much, it’s not going to be enough to just have the ceremony there. Is there a way to put the wedding off a few more months to give you more time to save money so you can have your wedding there? We suggest you each go through and define what your priorities are for the wedding. That will help you make the right decisions. Maybe it IS possible to have an awesome wedding closer to home within your budget. Explore those options, it can’t hurt to look at venues and get quotes from local wedding pros. Question 3: What are the thoughts on shape wear and when to get the shape wear? Should you get it before dress consultation? Answer 3: Most of our clients, that wear shape wear, wear Spanx. There are lots of brands now, in comparable to that brand. It does help. Try somethings out ahead of time. Wear them all day and see if it’s something you can handle having on for 8+ hours. And definitely take them with you to the dress consult! Question 4: Instead of going the traditional catering event, they decided to use a restaurant that will set up the buffet. Without needing servers, they are looking for people to help with pouring water, cutting cake, etc, how do we find a staff? What do we look up to find the right help? Answer 4: This is tricky! Ultimately this comes down to budget. You may not need people to serve, but like you say, you need bussing, refilling water, set up, take down, cleaning up spills, etc, and these tasks require a proper staff. Thumbtack is a great resource for finding staff to come and help with a party. Staffing companies, bartending companies, etc will often list themselves on that site and you could find a proper staff on a pre-negotiated rate. A free-for-all style can get really messy. It can be very helpful to have some people there to scoop things on to plates. Also google ‘event staff company’ and your location. Taskrabbit might be a good choice too, but it would be individuals instead of teams. Be careful, you get what you pay for. We understand budgets, but it’s important to be prepared. Could you ask the restaurant if they know anyone that could help out for the day? They might have a connection or have staff not working in the restaurant that night that want to work. Question 5: We are having a 40 person wedding. How do you feel about DJs? Our families are a mix of partiers/dancers and those that just want to sit. Is a DJ awkward with 40 people? Answer 5: Hell yeah have a DJ! It is really not awkward. It elevates the party and makes everyone feel special. Tell the DJ it’s a smaller party. Decide ahead of time if guests are allowed to request songs. The DJ takes so much stress off of you on the big day. We're able to produce this podcast because of YOUR support. If you want to become a Patron (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast), and get exclusive access to our monthly newsletter, bonus episodes, and more, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)! A giant thank you to all of our existing Patrons, who help keep this podcast running! Learn more by checking out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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You just got engaged! Naturally you’re thrilled to share the exciting news with everyone you know, but wait...who should you tell first, and in what order? Then there’s the overload of thoughts spinning inside of your head with the checklist of what to do next. On today’s show Christy connects with two beautiful brides to be, Ashley and Mallory. Their recent engagement brings out all the questions you want answers to when first venturing down the wedding planning path. The ladies offer tips on planning a wedding in 2021 - which of course we all know, is unlike any other time in history. Big Takeaways When it comes to announcing the engagement, order of who you tell can be important. Malori and Ashley had specific orders of who to let know before letting the whole world know. Venue was the most important thing to get figured out first. They made a list of the spots they were interested in, and worked there way through to see prices and availability. Because of Covid, a lot of places were booked for a long time out (more than a year out). It really can be very important to see a location in person. You can’t hear ambient noises in a picture or get the real vibe from a website. Size matters too. They did see a venue that was much too large, and realized how much work would go into making that space work. Remember when looking for venues: * Account for the guest list * Is there enough space for the wedding party? * Make a list of what is important beforehand * After, create a pros and cons list for each place * Sense the vibe when you get there, especially as a same sex couple When it comes to booking, some vendors might be able to facilitate multiple events in a weekend, where as photographers, planners, musicians, etc are likely to be booked for just the one event. You definitely don’t want to be thinking about the quality of your photos on the day of. So consider your photographer’s portfolio and what they are good at, that way you can loosen the reins and have the most fun. Set clear boundaries up top with family, and those involved in planning and preparing. It is important to have a balance. Links We Referenced theclaytonhouse.com (https://www.theclaytonhouse.com/) instagram.com/malleyinlove (https://www.instagram.com/malleyinlove/) Quotes “Honestly your wedding venue is going to be the most expensive purchase of your life, as a couple. We have never, other than our student loans, looked at that kind of money in our lives.” - Ashley “Those photographers who can do that for us, are going to be able to do that for a couple who has only posed together for their engagement photos. They know how to make it not awkward. They know how to make it comfortable and look natural. The first piece of moment, because we went to our parents and asked, ‘What is your one piece of advice?’ Malori’s mom said that if there is anyone you give your money to, make it a good photographer. Because you want them to document those memories. You want it to feel like you’re just doing your own thing, and they’re there doing their job.” - Ashley “If there is something that you have a really big stipulation on, say it before they agree to spend all this money.” Ashley (in regards to parents helping pay) Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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When David's Bridal reached out to Christy and Michelle about being on the podcast - it was excitement all around! David's Bridal is an iconic brand that has been around longer than any other company of its kind. Though they are best known for the sale of wedding gowns and bridesmaid dresses, you're in for a treat as you learn about the many other services they offer. Including the most comprehensive and up to date information on what's happening in the wedding market. Maggie Lord, Vice President and Head of Strategic Partnerships at David’s Bridal and the founder of Rustic Wedding Chic, a popular wedding blog and directory acquired by David’s joins Christy and Michelle on the show today. Maggie is also the author of six books and a sought after wedding expert and she’s offering insider tips for creating a memorable wedding. Big Takeaways * In a David’s Bridal store, you can order a tux and color match with bridesmaid dresses. * There is a large prom and junior section. * They also offer tangible items for the wedding and other celebrations, not just the clothing. * Dresses start at $99, and include a wide range of sizes. * The Pearl Report is a comprehensive report put together by David’s Bridal. * They include information about what is happening in the wedding market and with their customers. Some specific stats from this year’s report: * 82% of brides are confident when looking att heir financial future * 70% more brides are now comfortable shopping and buyinginstore * 29% of brides will have more than 5 bridesmaids * Concerns over venue availability are up15% * 37% of brides are not worried about COVID at wedding * Event guest limitations have dropped 14% Quick Tips For Wedding Decor on a Budget * Not every single table needs to have the same arrangement or fancy centerpiece * Candles/Hurricanes make great center pieces for the tables without flowers * You can have non-floral centerpieces Quick Decor Ideas (Outdoor weddings) The more simple the better Find a focal back drop for the ceremony (an arch with flowers, barnd oors, etc.) Make sure there is dedicated spaces that are easy to discern (ceremony, cocktails, dining area) Signage is great for directing guests Think of your guests, and what kind of accessibility you might need Links We Referenced rusticweddingchic.com theblacktux.com davidsbridal.com Quotes “After you buy your dress, and your have your amazing wedding - well most people want to do something with it, right? It doesn’t just hang in the back of your closet. We would be falling short if we weren’t standing with her in that moment, to how to preserve it, the right way.” - Maggie “What is magical about David’s, along with a lot of other things, is that you can walk in the store and try on something in your size. Or find something really close, and it’s not about the clips and the grips and everything else. You put it on, and you feel like yourself, and you see yourself exactly how you might look on your wedding day. And that is phenomenal.” - Maggie “Everybody wants to look and feel their best. And nobody wants to feel like they are settling for a dress that isn’t the perfect dress.” - Maggie Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Maggie Lord.

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When you’re planning a wedding, the most special people in your life come forward to center stage as those who you want to include in the event. But how do you choose who will be part of your wedding party without hurt feelings? How do you navigate the logistics of who should do what? Are there requirements you need to meet like with an even number of people, matching jammies and photos? And what if you’re just not into a wedding party at all? On today’s show Christy and Michelle are connecting with Leah Weinberg. You might remember her from Episode 181 (https://weddingplanning.fireside.fm/the-wedding-is-over-now-what), she’s a former lawyer and current wedding planner in NYC, owner of Color Pop Events and author of the book “The Wedding Roller Coaster: Keeping Your Relationship Intact Through the Ups and Downs.” Leah’s breaking down a few rules and tips on how to avoid Wedding Party Drama. Big Takeaways * Planners love when you don’t have a wedding party! It really makes things so much easier. This is not to say you can’t have, but don’t feel weird about the decision to not. * When you are picking members of the wedding party: - Don’t do things out of obligation * It is important to consider how you are involving meaningful people in your wedding, and that might not be as a member of the party * Being a wedding party is a huge commitment, consider that as well. It is not personal if someone cannot show up or afford to dive in to the more in-depth role * Tell the people you are asking to be in the party exactly what their expectations will be up front. And go from there. Figure out your deal breakers. * How do the people you are considering make you feel? * Someone telling you they can’t or do not want to be in your wedding party should be okay. It’s okay to be sad and disappointed, but you must respect their decision. * Even if you don’t have a wedding party, you can still incorporate your friends on the day of. I.e., makeup and mimosas! Firing a wedding party member * No matter what has happened, as the Marry-er, what will give you the most peace and zen for your wedding day? * Weigh the positivity vs the negativity. Ultimately you want your wedding day to bring you joy and celebration * Tell your wedding party about how much you love your vendors and planners. It’s more common than it should be that a wedding party is rude to the planner and that just makes it harder on everyone. Best Practices for Looks: * Give your wedding party as much detail and specificity as possible, especially if there is not one type of dress * There are brands that do a variety of colors/styles. Then you can give more specific parameters for everyone. * Do not dictate the hair style. It is very old school and does not always look very good. * You can set loose parameters for hair and makeup, but gone are the days of everyone looking the exact same. * Being too particular about what you want can be unintentionally offensive. People’s style can * be a very personal thing. Links We Referenced colorpopevents.com (https://www.colorpopevents.com) instagram.com/colorpopevents (https://www.instagram.com/colorpopevents/) facebook.com/colorpopevents (https://www.facebook.com/colorpopevents) The Wedding Roller Coaster: Keeping Your Relationships Intact Through the Ups and Downs (https://www.amazon.com/Wedding-Roller-Coaster-Keeping-Relationships/dp/0578883015) Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Leah Weinberg.

The Wedding Roller Coaster: Keeping Your Relationships Intact Through the Ups and Downs

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It’s September and this month is our extra SPECIAL Photography Edition of YAWA! You Ask, THEY Answer! To help us answer all the big photography questions we are joined by delightful wedding photographers, and co-hosts of Don’t Take This Personally Podcast, Kami Oliavarria and Gabriel “Gabe” Conover. Ideas for Unique First Looks: * Make them make sense from a story telling perspective. * Think location! Are there stairs? Do you like the tap on the shoulder? Think about your * preferences. * Getting ready together is a great way to include both halves of the couple * Take room to be yourself! Talk about what you love beforehand, not the day of. How much time does a photographer want between ceremony and reception for formal photos? How much for after ceremony formals? * There are really no rules at the end of the day, we just have to talk and communicate about it * to make it possible. * They say they need about 15-20 mins for family, because he will have a very specific list of * shots * 5-10 mins for the rest of the party * This way, if there was no first look, more time can be given to the couple. * If you don’t do a first look, you (the couple) will not make it to cocktail hour. How can I make formal photos easier on the photographer for the day of? * Delegate wedding party members to be “wranglers.” Don’t leave the responsibility on the photographer. Pick someone who knows the family. How do you decide whether or not to include the significant others of the unmarried people in the your family and wedding party - in the formal photos? * Do one with, one without the significant others. * It covers all the bases, and they are generally understanding! * Have a list beforehand! Share any information needed with the photographer if certain people shouldn’t be next to each other, etc. During the cocktail hour and reception, do you ask guests who are standing/talking together to directly smile at the camera in order to get some fun action shots of guests? * Yes! They try to get a mix of candids and more posed/smiled shots. What is golden hour and why is it important? * Golden hour is when the sun is going down. * It can’t always happen. It’s a beautiful time of day, but no photographer wants to interrupt a * part of the day for a quick pic. * It’s pretty. It’s not as easy to control on a wedding day as it might be on an engagement * shoot or similar. How do I find out if a photographer has a more 'photojournalistic style’? I feel like they all say they do. I really want our wedding photos, for the most part, to be natural, candid shots of us and of our guests. * Photojournalistic is a buzzword. * Nothing that wedding photographers do is really that photojournalistic. * You are going to want someone who can direct and help you find the right spots/angles etc. * Look at their full galleries. Do you like what they shoot? If not, go to the next. * Don’t focus on buzz words. Focus on what excites you. Interviews are important, yes, but * make sure you like the results before you even get to the interview. What are the best questions to ask a photographer to see if they’re the right fit for you? * Learn about their personality * Get clear answers on what the process looks like * If they are newer, there are more questions to be asked for sure. With more experienced * photographers, you should already know you like their style and what they do before you * even reach out. * Think process-oriented questions. How much do you help? Do you have calls? How do I get * info to you? What do you need from me? * “It doesn’t matter if I shot at your venue before” - any photographer that knows what they * are doing can figure it out. They research, show up early, and come in with new energy! Links We Referenced instagram.com/kamiolavarria (https://www.instagram.com/kamiolavarria/) instagram.com/gabrielconover (https://www.instagram.com/gabrielconover/) instagram.com/donttakethispersonally.podcast (https://www.instagram.com/donttakethispersonally.podcast/) instagram.com/gudtimes.sd (https://www.instagram.com/gudtimes.sd/) *We're able to produce this podcast because of YOUR support. * If you want to learn more, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). If you want to become a Patron (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast), and get exclusive access to our monthly newsletter, bonus episodes, and more, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)! A giant thank you to all of our Patrons, who help keep this podcast running! Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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Live music gives weddings big energy and meets the moment by elevating everything. It has the power to impact your guests in a way they will enjoy and experience a variety of emotions with. When Stephen and Kevin got married they knew live music would be a huge part of their wedding day. For this reason they decided to include a cello trio, a 16 piece orchestra including vocalists, a saxophonist, and a wedding band that sang a large majority of Whitney Houston songs. They wrapped the night with a DJ, giving their guests and themselves the best of all words. Christy connects with Stephen and Kevin as they share what they learned from the experience and what you can do to experience something as dynamic on your wedding day. About the Couple Stephen Lawrence currently serves as the manager and violinist of the Piedmont Strings Quartet and has performed for 100’s of weddings since he was 16 years old. Stephen also serves as the Director of Orchestral Activities and Department Chair at North Atlanta High School’s Fine and Performing Arts Department and on the Atlanta Public Schools Arts Resource Team as the District Orchestra Lead. Kevin Carroll currently serves in a Senior position for an international auditing and accounting firm and is the creator of Carroll Candle Co. and Carroll Real Estate Investments in St. Louis, MO. Kevin is a veteran of the United States Air Force where he earned his Bachelor’s degree at Park University in Human Resources with an emphasis in Finance and an MBA from Keller Graduate School of Management. Big Takeaways * Through Covid, and having to reschedule, the number of guests changed from about 120 to 80. * The guest list was definitely different than initially imagined, but it was okay, because everyone that did make it was there to party and have a great time. * Live music was such an important part of the equation, especially for Stephen, that they didn’t even want to really consider recorded music. * They went for the wow factor. * Live music from the moment you walked into the space. * Musicians and DJs don’t want a full list of every song they have to play in exact order. They were able to set particular songs for particular moments of the day, and then the musicians had free range to work within the set parameters/mood. * When you are looking for your musicians and choices of certain songs, make sure you go on YouTube and find a version played by strings and see if you actually like it. Sometimes, the song just doesn’t sound good with a string quartet or sung in the style of the musician you have. It helps to have an idea of what you are going to get. * If you are hiring someone to be the expert on something, let them be. * Use the music to set the tone of the wedding. * Just because your friend is a great singer, or guitarist, or etc, doesn’t mean they are trained or able to perform in the wedding space. If you want to hire a friend, and a professional group, you will need a rehearsal. * Best Practices: 1. Choose a performing group that is cohesive with your music style. 2. Be clear about your expectations and allow the musicians to speak on what is comfortable to them. 3. Consider your audience/guests. 4. Find music that speaks to you both. 5. Consider the number of songs you would like to include during the ceremony 6. Considering timeline: build in time for the musicians to set-up and sound check. 7. LOCATION: if your wedding is outdoors or has outdoor elements that you plan the live musicians to use, have a plan b location. Avoid direct sunlight or precipitation. Consider amplification and the way sound travels. Links We Referenced instagram.com/sandkforeverandaday (https://www.instagram.com/sandkforeverandaday/) piedmontstrings.com (https://www.piedmontstrings.com) instagram.com/carrollcandleco (https://www.instagram.com/carrollcandleco/) Quotes “We had a celebrity saxophonist there, and he put on a whole show.” - Stephen “The quartet and the orchestra were making sure they were playing music that people would enjoy. We’re just about to have Bach.” - Kevin “Our wedding planner, Chris, he was like, ‘we have to always play around with the five senses for every part of the wedding.’” - Stephen “Make sure you have fun at your wedding. Have fun. Please. When the day comes, leave it to your planner or whoever you have in charge, and enjoy the day. And actually become the people that the day is for.” - Kevin Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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When you’re planning to spend the rest of your life with someone, it can feel quite challenging to bring two very different people together and have them work towards one common path. Sprinkle in multi-cultural and interfaith differences and you can quickly see how planning a wedding to meet these various needs might make you feel like you’re on a lone island. Christy and Michelle have the pleasure of connecting with Lara Wagner and Amer Ahmad, a married couple with beautifully diverse backgrounds. Lara had the satisfaction of growing up in the American South as a Unitarian Universalist, a liberal religion characterized by a free and responsible search for meaning, which she credits to providing her with the open mindedness to marrying someone from a different religious background. On the other side of the couple coin is Amer, whose family is from Pakistan but grew up in South Carolina practicing Islam. These two join the show today to talk about how they met, their two wedding ceremonies and meeting their parents' conditions of attending pre-marital counseling. Listen in and learn how Lara and Amer came together in blended bliss. Big Takeaways There was so little easily accessible information about what a blended wedding looked like when they were planning their wedding. Their parents’ condition was that they went to pre-marital counseling. While they originally wanted a fusion wedding, it wasn’t possible. In the end, there were 3 days of celebrations that incorporated both cultures. They were very intentional about food and drink, bringing both cultures in on each day. The easiest way to fuse things is FOOD. When starting to plan a blended wedding, it could be amazingly helpful to speak to your parents/family about what the non-negotiables are from each side. What are the expectations? Know that there will be challenges, ultimately do the things that bring joy to you and your most important loved ones. Lara and Amer were able to incorporate parts of their own family traditions and experience new things together. Links We Referenced instagram.com/blended.bliss/ (https://www.instagram.com/blended.bliss/) Quotes “I don’t want to say I felt alone, because I had a lot of incredible people go on the journey with us. But when I reached out for different inspiration, and was wondering, ‘is it normal to have a number of outfit changes?’ ‘Will my white family understand this spicy food?’ Things like that, I didn’t have any answers to those questions.” - Lara “If it is fusion, it is a compromise on many different levels. If it’s going to be one day, it’s not a compromise, it’s a western wedding.” - Lara “We just realized, we’re going to make everyone kind of happy. And then that’s going to make us very happy.” - Lara “And that gets back to that being a stressor, everyone had very different expectations about what the size of the wedding should be.” -Ahmad “I have probably a very unpopular opinion, but ladies and gentlemen, this is not your day. You don’t spend your day double bagged in Spanx, paying $100 for people you don’t know to eat a plate.” - Lara Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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If you’re like Christy and Michelle, you’ve been dreaming of your wedding day since you were a kid.....NOT! No doubt however, you’ve heard the myths of something blue, something borrowed, and no one else wearing white except the bride. On today’s episode we’re talking to Wedding Editorial Stylist Leona Morelock. She's helping us break down the myths, offload the expectations, and she's offering insider tips on how to design a wedding your own way! Big Takeaways Design Tips: * Everything doesn’t have to be matchy matchy. Think white on white, or another color using multiple shades. * When choosing the right color palette, ideas to come up with colors, think what color is most. * Plan your color palette first! This will help you make all the decisions that follow. * Design a mood board - start big picture then narrow things down. Give your wedding day a life and a story. * What are the things you gravitate towards? Narrow down from there. * Have a common denominator throughout that appears minimally but ties the day together. * Design your weddings with your guests in mind. How will they know what is next? Wedding Myths: * It is your day - it is both parties of the couple. Not just one or the other. It’s also your guests day. Remember everybody. Find boundaries with parents, and guests, it is your special day, but mind the fact that all the guests are there to celebrate and have fun too. * Everything will be perfect - don’t go into the planning thinking this, there never has and never will be a “perfect” wedding. * Every single detail needs to be unique - you don’t need to out do your friends. * You shouldn’t pick the first gown/first vendor - if you like it, you like it! * You should have a one year engagement. * You need to spend your money on your wedding - another comparison trap. A modest budget still allows for special weddings. * Hiring family is the same as hiring professional - It can be done, it is doable. But remember you get do get what you pay for. * You need to have a white gown, and be escorted by your father - there are so many ways you can do this. You don’t have to fit into a standard that you don’t relate to. Meghan Markle walked herself down the aisle * You can’t see each other before the wedding. * Guests can’t wear black or white. Links We Referenced The Wedding Stylist Podcast (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-wedding-stylist-podcast/id1534965236) leonamorelock.com (leonamorelock.com) instagram.com/leonamorelock (https://www.instagram.com/leonamorelock/) Quotes “One of the first things is to come up with a color palette. Your color palette that you’re going to stick to. And every decision that you make, bring it back to that color palette and does it match?” - Leona Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Leona Morelock.

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Kelly Bron Johnson is an Autistic and Hard of Hearing self-advocate, author, and founder of Completely Inclusive, which is a consultancy helping businesses transform their company culture to be inclusive and accessible to ALL. She lives in Montreal, QC, Canada with her husband and two boys. Her passion is to help people, and make all things easier for everyone. 25% of the population of the US and Canada has a disability, that’s 1 in 4. It is something that definitely needs to be talked about. Big Takeaways When planning, and making accommodations for certain guests, you can ask them what would make it easier for them. This is, on course, is easier for people you are close to. Crowd sourcing can help, if you are not as close to the guests with disabilities. Weddings are difficult, but you can do things that are going to help a vast majority of people. It only takes a little extra labor. And you might be surprised that more people than you expected take advantage of the accommodations you make. None of this has to be hush hush. Talk about it. There are so many people around us with disabilities and special needs, and they should never have to automatically feel like a burden because of that. We can make it more normal to just accommodate everyone. What is Pagan Handfasting? Earth worshiping religion that follows the cycles of nature and the moon. Old tradition of Celtic hand fasting - joining together of two households, arms are tied together with ribbon during the ceremony. Promise to stay together a year and a day, considered a trial relationship and any child conceived would be taken care of equally, but if they don’t stay together, they make a choice to untie a ribbon and walk away from each other and the kids will still be taken care of equally by each parent. Every year, you decide as a couple if they want to continue the commitment. Extra Tips: - Include notes on your wedding website, encouraging those with special needs to reach out - A room for guests to pop into when they need to decompress or step away is an awesome option. You have to let the guests know too! - Provide accommodations to everyone when possible. - Provide a bowl of cheap earplugs so any one can grab them. - Ask about food allergies or aversions Links We Referenced kbronjohn.club (https://kbronjohn.club) completementinclusif.org/en_US (https://completementinclusif.org/en_US/) intersectionsonthespectrum.com (https://intersectionsonthespectrum.com) Quotes “The disability community is the largest minority group that you can become a part of at any time in your life. You could have an accident. You could become sick. Anything could happen. And as we age, a lot of us join the disability community. So it’s not just about who you are right now, it’s also planning ahead for the future of what could be and what could happen.” - Kelly “As much as she knows her brother best, her brother knows himself best. You can have a collaborative session, brain storming session. What would work for you, what would you like to do, how would you like to feel included.” - Kelly “Getting diagnosed really helped me to understand. And it helped me to put boundaries. And to accept that, you know what, I’m not going to do everything the way that other people do. And it’s not really useful to try and force myself to do these things. It gave me a way to accept myself and also to say no to certain things and say, 'I’m going to do it my way, and it’s okay.’” - Kelly “It’s not just about wheelchairs, sometimes it’s about including people in different ways.” - Kelly We're able to produce this podcast because of YOUR support. If you want to learn more, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). If you want to become a Patron (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast), and get exclusive access to our monthly newsletter, bonus episodes, and more, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)! A giant thank you to all of our Patrons, who help keep this podcast running! Learn more by checking out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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On the last Wednesday of every month, Christy & Michelle answer listener questions live on the show - YAWA! This month we're answering questions about: engagement parties, a ceremony planner, a bride with fibromyalgia and eloping in France! We're able to produce this podcast because of YOUR support. If you want to learn more, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). If you want to become a Patron (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast), and get exclusive access to our monthly newsletter, bonus episodes, and more, check out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)! A giant thank you to all of our Patrons, who help keep this podcast running! Learn more by checking out our Patreon Page (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. Question #1 I got engaged in December 2020 and my wedding is in May 2022. I'm doing a destination wedding with about 40 vaccinated people. This was planned with Covid in mind. We are fortunate enough to be able to have our wedding at a winery that has a bnb which we were able to rent out for all of our guests. So we will have our own little bubble for our wedding weekend, which I'm so excited for. I do have a lot of family members who would still like to celebrate me and my fiancé and while I appreciate that, I kind of feel uncomfortable throwing any type of engagement party or bridal shower where I have family that’s attending but not invited to the wedding. I just feel like I don't want to be throwing a party and expecting people to feel like they need to help me throw a party or give me gifts or anything, especially if they're not coming to my wedding, which is absolutely not what I want. My mom and soon-to-be mother-in-law though is constantly reassuring me that, that's not what people are thinking and people just want to celebrate us, but I just wanted to know your thoughts on having a bigger engagement party or bridal shower as opposed to the not having a wedding that would include all those people that are invited to the precursor events. AnswerChristy: If they want to host a party for you, the guests at that party are more likely to be there for them and less for you. Not to say it’s not about you, it is. But there is less room for the weirdness of them not being invited to the wedding. Try to get out of your own way a little bit. This party could be a totally hands off, fun day for you. People do just want to celebrate you with your mom and mother in law. Michelle: It does feel a bit weird. And can be easy to gravitate to the awkwardness of expectations. However, when people have a destination wedding, they never invite everyone or at least not as many people as they would if it were local. As long as most of your guests are aware that you’re having a very small wedding, and that your mom and mother in law just want to have a party/celebration, then it could be really good. Let them handle the whole thing. The wording of the invite should be about a celebration of you getting married. If the original driver for a small wedding was covid safety, make sure they know that too. Question #2 2 questions - one is regarding a catering coordinator, and the second is about getting ready time for 6 ladies. 1. Do I need a ceremony planner? We have booked a caterer, and their services come with "Basic Coordination". It seems like this coordination covers everything we need for planning the reception, but their planning is very hands-off when it comes to the ceremony. Do you think we should hire a planner to just cover the ceremony? 2. Getting ready schedule: We are going to have an 11am ceremony, and I am a little worried about the getting-ready schedule in the morning. Our photographer would like to have our first look at 9am. I'm a morning person, and I'm happy to wake up around 6am but don't want to wake up earlier than that so that I'm not panicked about sleeping the night before. Do you think there is a reasonable way to fit this into the morning without making everyone wake up too early? Is it reasonable to ask a hairdresser to only spend 30 mins max on each person's hair? What if the bridesmaids come to the venue a bit later than me because they don't need to be ready by the first look? Answer 1. It depends. Is your ceremony at the same place as your reception? Is your officiant a professional, or a friend? Is there a venue manager? (I'm thinking about who will be there to manage Strike at the end of the night.) If there is a venue manager, you can probably get away without one. If not, and your officiant is not a professional, and the venue isn’t necessarily used to weddings, you should definitely hire one. Also, the final chapter in our masterclass is all about this. Including ceremony, rehearsal, layout, etc. 2. Totally have your gals do their own makeup and talk to the hair stylist about your desire to keep this part of the day pretty short and simple - I think 45 minutes per lady is what she is going to prefer. She should be able to help you with a timeline. And if she can bring an assistant, you'll be able to get more done in less time. Also - bridesmaids usually know that part of the 'job' is waking up early and being there whenever the bride tells you to be! Question #3 I hope I'm not jumping the gun in my question, but I have a big one (in my opinion). I have a chronic illness, fibromyalgia. It can be very tolling on me. Fibromyalgia causes widespread pain and serious fatigue. There are times when I just can't function because of my illness and I want to stay in bed. I am worried that this could happen to me on the big day OR that I may not be able to enjoy the big day as much because I will be overexerting myself. Often, when I overdo myself or have higher than normal levels of stress then I suffer the consequences. We recently celebrated our engagement with an engagement party, and man oh man was that tough!! I was a social butterfly, greeting and celebrating with all my guests. I was spent by the end of the night, and don't even get me started with my recovery over the next couple of days. I'm bumming out/worrying that I won't be able to celebrate in the bedroom on my wedding night, if you know what I mean ;). I'm wondering what advice you may have for a chronically ill bride to be? I know what I can do on my end, such as resting leading up to the day but I'm curious if you have specific ideas on what I can do on my wedding day to make things easier on me. I hope my question can help many individuals because I can only imagine I'm not the only one that suffers from some type of chronic illness. Answer This is such a good question - I'm glad you wrote us! And I'm really glad that you are finding the podcast helpful with wedding planning so far. I don’t know what I have any good advice for you since you know your own body and your ebbs and flows with this illness. I know you are already thinking of mitigation strategies...I haven't worked with anyone with chronic pain like this, but I have worked with a groom with intense social anxiety and he ended up cutting out of his own reception about three hours early on the wedding night. I think you need to give yourself a lot of grace and ask your close friends and family to help you manage things on the wedding day...like, have a few Plan Bs for the whole wedding weekend..."if this, then this", type of stuff. Your people want to help you enjoy the weekend to YOUR fullest extent and they will likely be a lot easier on you than you are on yourself! Also, please know that most people don't actually ef on the wedding night. Everyone is exhausted/drunk/over it/exhausted again. You have plenty of time for that later! And staying in one location will definitely make it easier on you and everyone else! I think you should make sure to take a few days off before the wedding, and a few days off afterwards, honeymoon or not. Take care of yourself and listen to your body. I hope this helps a little! We do have an episode coming out soon with a health and wellness advocate and she talks about events for people with autism and other issues/illnesses, and how to create a fun environment for everyone, but I don't know that she speaks to chronic pain specifically. Question #4 For background, we are eloping to France next April and then hosting a small (35-ish people) dinner party at a resort venue in Sonoma County, California next May after we get back from our honeymoon. We live in Michigan with family and friends all over the place. My question is: the venue for the dinner is beautiful but I would like to add perhaps some flowers or greenery to the table. The majority of our budget is going towards the elopement and the venue/food/beverage fee for the California dinner party so I need to find a very low-cost option. I've looked into decor rentals and they are beyond what I would want to spend for a simple, 3-hour celebration dinner. I also thought of having guests each bring a bouquet to display on the table but we are already asking them to fly across the country and book accommodations so that doesn't seem fair. I would love your thoughts on how I could add something to the plain white linens that are included with our venue space. Traveling from Michigan, I won't have much room to bring things with me since I will also be bringing my wedding dress to wear for everyone. Answer This dinner sounds absolutely lovely. In Sonoma, you are surrounded by beauty, and the food/ wine will be wonderful. I don't think you need to do much for decor. If you can't afford rentals - and it's wine country where they are VERY expensive - then totally scrap the idea. White linens, regular chairs and tons of bud vases with grocery store flowers will 100% do the trick. For greenery - you can get fresh eucalyptus branches and snip them ahead of time, then use them on any supplemental tables, like a dessert table, or a welcome table, or as a runner in front of you and your fiancé at the table. Little candles are always beautiful and photograph really well (just make sure you ask the venue about candle rules too - little tea lights in glass votive holders are usually fine). I like save-on-crafts.com for vases and candles. You can also get really cheap glass vases at Walmart or the dollar store. If you're going with small vases, it's easier to do your own flowers. But you need a LOT, imo. Still very affordable. Links We Referenced: save-on-crafts.com (https://www.save-on-crafts.com/) The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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Christy and Michelle head down to San Diego’s Intercontinental Hotel (https://www.ihg.com/intercontinental/hotels/us/en/san-diego/sanhb/hoteldetail?cm_mmc=GoogleMaps-_-IC-_-US-_-SANHB) to coordinate April and Aljon’s wedding. The Bride and Groom give us behind-the-scenes coverage into their special day, filled with rich Filipino traditions, while Michelle & Christy offer tips and tricks to setting up for a wedding and lots of overall great advice. While Christy and Michelle are no strangers to pandemic weddings, the planners help to keep the bride and groom calm as they offload the millions of little details that can quickly add stress to a bride and groom without the help of professionals. If you've ever wondered how to navigate the ebb and flow of COVID and its new delta variant, how to talk masks and vaccines to your family and friends; or whether you've considered postponing the whole thing all together, this episode is a must listen! Today’s show captures the day before, day of, and day after moments of a weekend wedding as April and Aljon go from Me to We. Big Takeaways * Aljon's, easy going nature helped keep April's spirits high through the stress that came along with the build up to the wedding. * They knew that their family might have some issues with showing up on time, so the ceremony was listed as starting at 1pm, but they were actually planning to start at 2pm. * Because of Covid, they required proof of vaccination, or a PCR test 72 hours beforehand. This helped them feel that it would keep their guests healthier and happier. It was a fast shift in response to new variants of the virus. * Don't understimate the value of hiring a videographer and a wedding planner. * April loved having the first looks. She found it really calmed her nerves, and felt comforted seeing her partner in the hustle of the morning and before the ceremony. Aljon said he was indifferent at first, but in retrospect would absolutely do it again and thinks everyone should do it. It’s a nice, personal, intimate way to connect with your partner. * They were married in a full Catholic and Filipino ceremony. * The wedding was a huge success, and was everything they had dreamed. * Unique things they included: - Boba later in the evening - Money Dance Links We Referenced intercontinentalsandiego.com (https://www.intercontinentalsandiego.com/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=RLSA&utm_content=InterContinental-San-Diego&trackingSource=RLSAPaidSearch&gclid=Cj0KCQjwvO2IBhCzARIsALw3ASpbZW4Uksz2Y_BANTqf-VyJ81aC5Q_M2q-bVrrm9OIjLf766XkqBYsaAgiQEALw_wcB) Quotes “Every once in awhile he’ll look at me, Aljon will look at me, and be like, ‘We’re going to get married tomorrow. You’re going to be my wife tomorrow.’ Or we’ll talk to our dog, ‘you’re not going to be a bastard dog anymore!’” - April “I, at the end of the day, just wanted to get married. I wanna marry the man of my dreams. And if that meant that other people had to wear a mask, or if I had to wear a mask, I was okay with that.” - April “I’m about to do first look. She’s had her dress for about 6 months now, and I have never, ever seen it until today.” - Aljon  “Are you excited to see it?” - Michelle “Do you care, do we care about the dress? Do men care about the dress?” - Michelle “She’s going to look beautiful either way, so...” - Aljon “I really enjoy the first look. It kind of also calmed the nerves. I still cried going down the aisle, but when I saw him, I think it was the most genuine.” - April “I’m someone who doesn’t even care about little things. But I always dreamt of my wedding. I always knew that when I went to other weddings, like ‘I want this,’ so it was exactly what I wanted.” - April Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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Wedding planning takes a turn when the happiest day of your life involves adult children, step children, blended families and a previous spouse who isn’t on the best of terms with the family. Do weddings really bring families closer together? Or do they just force the tough stuff we bury deep down inside of us to rise to the surface? On today’s episode Christy and Michelle connect with Tanya Pushkine, creator of the Vow Whisperer. Tanya is no stranger to helping others manage the emotions that arise when expressing meaningful feelings. Tanya shares her own intimate story about her wedding day, and her communication with her son, and healing old pain. Tanya gives us powerful insights on how she came to grips with letting go of the anger that holds us back from compromise and forgiveness. Big Takeaways: Often, a therapist is the best person to help you heal family trauma. Talking things out might seem like a good idea, but sometimes it just serves to rehash the ugliness of the pain. Setting aside your ego and acknowledging the pain of someone else by honoring their feelings, is most often what the other party is searching for. If you can set aside the desire to be apologized to, it's easier to move forward. Quotes “The concept of writing to him, not to say how you felt, but acknowledging how he felt, is most likely what allowed him to open up and be like, ‘You get it!’” - Michelle “A wedding day can be the beginning of a new family story.” - Christy, attributing Tanya "Moving through the conflicts in life with the end destination in mind instead of your ego." - Tanya "When [we] let go of [our] own anger and ego you feel better. Holding onto anger and waiting for that apology is what screws you up." - Michelle Links We Referenced thevowwhisperer.com (https://thevowwhisperer.com) instagram.com/thevowwhisperer (https://www.instagram.com/thevowwhisperer/) tanya@thevowwhisperer.com Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Tanya Pushkine.

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The dinner party is back! Our guest, Nathalie Cadet-James (https://www.luxefetesocial.com/pages/our-story) throws the most amazing dinner parties and you are going to love hearing Nathalie & Christy talk about the most effective ways to give your guests all the "feels" at your next dinner party. Nathalie Cadet-James (https://www.luxefetesocial.com/pages/our-story) is a Former Attorney turned planner and started Luxe Fete, an event planning and design studio, in 2009. Nathalie is an International Event Planner and Designer who has been featured in Harper’s BAZAAR (https://www.harpersbazaar.com/wedding/planning/g6965/best-wedding-planners/), BRIDES Magazine (https://www.brides.com/best-wedding-planners-in-america-5090730) and Martha Stewart (https://www.marthastewart.com/7939221/top-wedding-planners) to name a few. She was named one of the Top Planners on the Martha Stewart Top Planners list. As a producer of large weddings, the pandemic and lockdown really helped Nathalie open the door to create dinner parties in a box, allowing for celebrations around the world, and right in your own living room. Big Takeaways * The old white china dinner party is gone. In fact, so much of dinner parties have become a lost art form. * Conversations can be difficult. Conversation starters, included in the Luxe Fete boxes, are a great element of a successful party. Elements of a great dinner party: - Conversation Starters: a way to put down phones and start more purposeful dialogue - Music: it’s a great equalizer and mood setter - A great looking table: the centerpiece of the whole event - Good food and drink: think of your favorite restaurant, you can get takeout! Grab some great wine and desserts too. You can also hire a private chef, or cook yourself. - A plan: it’s okay if it’s not all set out and ready to eat when the guests arrive, as long as you know what’s going on, you’re going to have a great time Links We Referenced instagram.com/luxefete/ (https://www.instagram.com/luxefete/) instagram.com/luxefetesocial/ (https://www.instagram.com/luxefetesocial/) Nathalie's Dinner Party Music Playlists (https://www.luxefetesocial.com/pages/nats-favorite-dinner-party-music) NY Times Article (https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/28/style/a-wedding-planner-with-a-lot-on-her-plate.html?searchResultPosition=1) Quotes “You raise a really good point about how people feel about dinner parties. I do think it’s a lost art form. I think technology has completely rendered us disconnected.” - Nathalie “I think every gathering needs to have a purpose to really be successful.” - Nathalie “The goal is for all of hosts to be like, ‘Oh shit she is the hostess with the mostest. Amazing music. Amazing dinner party. So thoughtful in conversation. People are becoming friends.People are loving it. Food’s outrageous. Oh my goodness." - Nathalie “Just focus on being present, and enjoying your family and friends. And let nature do what it does. Which is ignite, inspire and connect.” - Nathalie Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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On the last Wednesday of every month, Christy & Michelle answer listener questions live on the show - YAWA! This month we're answering questions about: How to include special people into the wedding / How to have a rehearsal at an alternate location / Family-style dinner / Not hiring a DJ and using playlists instead / Alternative ways of honoring in-laws, and more! Email Question #1 My fiancé and I have a large wedding party (9 each). Most of them are dating each other and friends we’ve had for a long time. We have one more couple that we are close to, but we don’t see as often that we want to include in our wedding day. They are already invited to all of the pre wedding events. We are in their wedding (smaller party and less friends of theirs from before they were dating) the weekend after ours. We’ve been racking our brains for ways to include them in the day that doesn’t require giving them a job because they feel too special to give a job to. We were considering a reading or something like that during the ceremony since they are both Catholic like my fiancé and we are trying to include that in our day without it being a full Catholic wedding. I wanted to see if you had any suggestions of ways to include them in a way that honors our friendship without them feeling super left out or like we are just assigning them a job? Answer to #1: You answered your own question a little bit here! The best options feels like readings. The readings don’t have to be religious, unless you want them to be. Another fun idea that has grown in popularity recently is Flower Adults (like as opposed to flower girls). They could hold the rings, deliver a poem, sing a song. There are also other elements of Catholicism you could tie in. Are there any parts of a Catholic wedding your fiancé wants to include that they could participate in? Email Question #2: I am in 3 weddings this years, so I've been trying to be the most knowledgeable I can be to help out my friends. One of the brides has a venue that does not allow a rehearsal at the venue, and I know how important rehearsals are. Do you have any ideas on how we can have a rehearsal not at the venue? And how I can convince the bride she does in fact need a rehearsal since the Officiant is an "Unofficial Officiant"? Thanks and keep up the great work! Answer to #2: Check out our Episode #37 (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/episodes/sq1hgq4uadk2ovpuq3ams76fvzqxiu?rq=37), the show notes alone are very informative! Rehearsals are so important! In fact, we dedicated an entire lesson in our Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/) to them. It is absolutely possible to do it outside of the venue. The idea is to walk through the main points of the ceremony. Ultimately it’s more about timing than the exact space itself. This helps the big day go so much smoother. Any rehearsal is better than no rehearsal. The location doesn’t matter as much as the actual run through. Lobby of the hotel, backyard, etc. all of those places are totally acceptable and doable. Voicemail Question #3: I am getting married in September of 2022 my fiancé and I are super excited. We're getting married at this really cool Blank Slate industrial venue in Cleveland, Ohio. We really wanted to tie in some of our cultural backgrounds, because that's really important to us at this venue. My family is super Polish and we're going to have a Polka Band coming cuz that's something that we do at all of my family parties. And for Sam’s side, he's super Italian. So one of the things we wanted to do is different family-style Gnocchi, passed around the table for dinner. And that's kind of where my question comes in. I was curious if you guys have seen family-style work well and how they really designed the table for that. We don’t want to light a bunch of candles or have decor that could get knocked over or crushed if we had all of these bowls on top of it and whatnot. Answer to #3: We love family style! Here are some elements to consider: - The size of the table (the bigger the better) - The way the guests are sitting (they need some space) - How many guests are at each table (you probably want 2 platters of each food type) - Decor (a centerpeice on a large round table is still doable) - The food itself (you want things that are easy to share) - Service (you still need wait staff and in some instances, it's best for the wait staff to help serve at each table) - Shape of the table (ideal would be a 72" round or an extra wide banquet table) - Price (Family-style can be more expensive because the caterer needs to order extra food) - Timeline (Considering toasts and that this food service type is typically a little faster than a buffet or sit - down meal) Remember, guests are typically passing the food around the table. When you are passing around the trays, think about the dishes that are being used. Shallow dishes are the standard for something like gnocchi - so it is important to talk to the caterer about logistics. The last thing you want is for the food to spill on a guest as it gets passed around. You don’t have to do the whole dinner service family style, but keep it in mind that it does require extra consciousness about each element of the table. It can be more expensive, because you need more of each option on the tray to make sure that everyone gets what they want. The portions can be smaller, but you have to assume that each guest will take one of each option. Centerpieces are not impossible, just keep them low. Voicemail Question #4: I am a Music lover. I'm a musician. I feel like I'm really good at making playlists and creating an Ambience with music. But of course, I can't be my own DJ, right? So my work around is that I am making a playlist I've been working on it, far before I even got engaged and I'm going to have a friend who works in radio emcee the night and play my playlist so I still have the emcee but you know, I get to play all the songs that I’ve curated. I'm already getting guests talking to me about wanting certain songs played and I know this is a cool thing that some people do if they are doing a playlist. They might ask their guests. Did you want to include a song request, you know on your RSVP, but I personally don't want any of that. I don't want anyone having any say in it. I have thought about my guests and the songs they will like. My partner is from Ecuador, so we have a lot of Latin music included but a lot of old favorites that my family will enjoy as well and I just don't want take requests on the night-of either. I am telling my Emcee to be firm in this but is there anything else I can do? Can there be a nice way of saying this before the music even starts? I think people will really enjoy the playlist if they just let themselves, but you know how drunk people can be so this is just a big concern of mine and I know it might sound a little crazy, but I just really don't want anyone requesting anything. I want my playlist to play because I worked so hard on the order of it! I've just put a lot of time into this. So, I was just wondering if there was a nice way to say this without sounding like the biggest party pooper of all time. Answer to #4: Check out our Episode #46 (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/episodes/wv6lajmysmvlkgatxglvfz71ipslc7?rq=46)! It's all about DJ'ing your own wedding and In it, our guest talks all about the things you need outside of the actual playlist itself. He also suggests having more than one playlist available just in case. We see you have an emcee, so make sure they are completely control of the playlist so you do not have to have any part in that. It’s too much stress to add into your day when you should just be able to dance and enjoy. As wedding planners, we always suggest a professional wedding DJ if the budget allows. It is also okay not to have one. You are also not required to take requests, at all. You can even add it to the wedding website so people are not inclined to keep asking. Email Question #5: My fiancé and I got engaged on July 4th, 2020, and have the bulk of the planning for our March 26, 2022 wedding complete (yay!). We're really starting to focus on guest and family experiences, which are some of the things we care the most about with our wedding. Our wedding mission statement is "host a fun, logistically convenient party for all of our family and friends". That said, we come from very different kinds of families. I'm from a big, warm, loud, mushy, huggy, Italian family, and he's from a more reserved, intellectual, independent German and Pennsylvania Dutch family. Our families get along really well, and we both love, appreciate, and enjoy spending time with each other's families. I'm super close with both of my parents (and quite close with my fiancé’s parents as well...what can I say, I'm a people person), but while he loves his parents, he's still working on building the kind of warm and fuzzy relationship I have with mine. We recognize that our families and upbringings are different, but there are values from each family that we want to share and build on. All that said, my question centers around how to include my future mother-in-law in our wedding in a way that makes her feel comfortable and feels authentic to the relationship she has with us as a couple and with her son. My father-in-law is a friendly Midwesterner and is excited to be part of as many parts of the wedding as possible (rehearsal dinner, ceremony, reception, the whole thing). My future MIL is a brilliant, caring, introvert who I think has a bit of social anxiety. Do you have any ideas of how we can honor my mother-in-law and/or father-in-law in a more subtle way that will still show them and our guests how much we love and appreciate them just the way they are? We did ask my future MIL if we could hold our rings in a beautiful small wooden box that her father made, and she really liked that idea. We would love any suggestions or thoughts you may have! Answer to #5: The best piece of advice we can give to you is to take her cues. Remember that her social anxiety has nothing to do with you or your wedding, or how she feels about your marrying her son. It can be easy to take it personally, but know that it has nothing to do with you. She is advocating for herself about wanting to leave early. She may surprise you and stay longer, but just let that be unexpected and a nice bonus if it happens. It will only happen if she feels heard and comfortable. If they don’t feel comfortable doing the mother/son dance (ask mom/ask fiancé), then skip it. You can have a group parent dance if she wants to do it but without being the center of attention. Maybe you can include your siblings, or all the parents/grandparents. Ultimately, just communicate beforehand. She may be more willing than you expected, but regardless she will feel loved for that effort. Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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Karlie & Josh got engaged a month before the United States shut down due to the COVID-19 Pandemic. Despite the challenges and uncertainty, they were married in May of 2021. Karlie is an avid listener of The Big Wedding Planning Podcast (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/) AND a user of The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). With our help (yeah, we love hearing that!), Karlie was able to plan a wedding that most of her family and friends had never experienced before. Big Takeaways Karlie & Josh were on a strict budget, and could not afford a wedding planner. However, they were able to pay to consult with a wedding planner multiples times. Having that resource of someone who can help suss out details and ease stresses is a big game changer, even if they can’t be included in the whole process Karlie & Josh also purchased The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/) to guide them in their planning and really iron out the details. Assigning people to tasks at specific times, and having the whole day lined up before it starts allowed them to enjoy the day without sweating over each detail when they should be celebrating. Before the ceremony, they opted to exchange gifts and read their vows to each other. These things helped ease the stress and nervousness. They read the more generic vows during the public ceremony, but kept the self-written, more intimate vows private between the two of them when they saw each other the morning of the wedding day. Remember even the most thoughtful beings are still human, be gentle and forgiving with your partner. They will mess up sometimes. The day was a success, but the best day in their opinion was the day after the wedding. Being done with the stress of it all was the biggest relief and it was the day they started off as a married couple. Quotes “You’re just like those people that kind of pick you up, and dust you off.” - Karlie to Christy & Michelle “It gave me the great fondness, and love in my heart that all my guests had the ability to do what they wanted to do.” - Karlie “It hit a point where he was like, ‘Karlie, had I known that it was going to be that bad, I would have hired a wedding planner. We would have made it in the budget, because this is just a lot on us right now.’” - Karlie (What Josh told her after the planning) “Value your sanity, more than you value your wedding.” - Karlie (Karlie' advice to those planning a wedding) Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonus episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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Irina Vishnevskaya, from Alle Travel (https://alletravel.co/ethics-travel-covid-19-october-2020/), joins us again to talk about traveling (especially with honeymoons) mid-pandemic. She shares tips on traveling abroad, how to find out restrictions in other locations, and more. While traveling is different right now, it doesn’t mean it can’t happen. It’s all about adjusting expectations, and having grace for those on the ground. Big Takeaways While the pandemic has shifted and things are starting to open back up, there are still travel restrictions in most countries. Before planning the big getaway, think about whether or not it is worth it. There are places that have been consistently easier to access if you are vaccinated, like Iceland, Hawaii, etc. The CDC (https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/travelers/map-and-travel-notices.html) and State Department (https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/traveladvisories/traveladvisories.html/) websites have a detailed breakdown of every country and their current status with Covid as well as travel restrictions. Keep in mind that the state department is approaching it from a safety standpoint. As an example, while New Zealand is safe in terms of Covid cases, they are not allowing tourism, so you will have to do more research. Remember, even with traveling with less restrictions, every body is still reeling from shut downs. Some stores might be closed, or hotels under staffed, or restaurant hours cut. Just be mindful. As far as vaccine passports go, it is unlikely that there will ever be a globally accepted passport, but be mindful of how to show you have been vaccinated. Keep your card with you at all times, take a picture, laminate, etc. As of now, if travelling abroad, in order to return to the U.S., you will have to give proof of a negative Covid test. Hawaii is a very popular destination right now, but it comes with its own issues. Lack of rental cars, limited hotels, etc. Book your car before your flight! Europe, Costa Rica, and Mexico are other great options. Flight times are changing pretty consistently. You are buying a flight for the day, but the time is likely to change. Do not try to plan a tight schedule. Things will change and shift. TSA is also delayed and airports are packed. Give yourself plenty of time for travel. Dream big, but accept the mental load of what that means! Check money back options, in case you have to cancel or change dates. Get comfortable with the small print. Traveler’s insurance does not cover COVID restrictions. If a flight is cancelled, they have to give you a credit. Links We Referenced alletravel.co Alle Travel (https://alletravel.co/ethics-travel-covid-19-october-2020/) Alle on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/alletravels/) CDC Travel Recommendations (https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/travelers/map-and-travel-notices.html) US Dept of State Travel Advisories (https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/traveladvisories/traveladvisories.html/) UK Government Travel Advisories (https://www.gov.uk/coronavirus) Australian Government Dept. of Health (https://www.health.gov.au/news/health-alerts/novel-coronavirus-2019-ncov-health-alert/coronavirus-%20covid-19-case-numbers-and-statistics) Quotes “Napa Valley is incredible. The Pacific Northwest. There’s just so many good options in this country too. So if the unknown feels like, “ugh!” Don’t do that to yourself. There is no need to torture. Your honeymoon should not be a source of stress.” - Irina “Keep in mind you can research and talk to people, but ultimately there’s always going to be a bit of a wild card. And just accepting that.” - Irina “Just please have grace. Know that nobody is wishing you ill. They’re just doing their best.” - Irina “Europe is such a rich destination and every country as so much to offer, even though it’s so tiny. I know as Americans we’re always like, ‘It’s the size of Rhode Island! I can do like 10 countries in 10 days. That’s so cool.’ What we have always wished is for clients to focus more in Europe because there is so much more. Please trust me you can spend two weeks, three weeks in any European country and never get bored.” - Irina Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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Our guests are Shia and Shashank Gupta, the sister and brother team behind Nazranaa (https://nazranaanj.com/), the biggest Indian bridal boutique in the country. They design and offer South Asian Wedding Wardrobes, and are sharing all you need to know. From figuring out what to wear during all the wedding festivities to navigating expectations of parents Shia & Shashank are the leading South Asian designers in the US and they help couples look Instagram ready on their wedding day. To them, they are not just outfits but memories. The owners of Nazranaa, the biggest Indian bridal boutique in the country, are also the hosts and Executive producers of the hit reality web series, Nazranaa Diaries (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCojWWxmazRznwpqJPPT7uyw), which has over 14 million views. Their work has been featured in Forbes, Yahoo, South Asian Bride Magazine, Brown Girl Magazine - to name a few. Big Takeaways More South Asian weddings are considered marriages of two families, and not two individuals, so there tends to be much more family involvement in every step of the wedding planning process. South Asian couplese often to see each other in their wedding wardrobes far before the wedding day itself. There is a lot factors like matching colors and fits that come into play. The magic, though, is still just as potent during the ceremony. Shivangi and Shashank’s customers often leave their dresses with them for alterations and such before the big day. So there is an added element of joy and surprise when they go back to pick them up. You don't have to go completely traditional nor "off the rack". There is so much customization that can be done. Links We Referenced Nazranaa Diaries Web Series on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCojWWxmazRznwpqJPPT7uyw) nazranaanj.com (https://nazranaanj.com/) Nazranaa on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/nazranaanj/) Nazranaa on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/nazranaanj/) Nazranaa on Pinterest (https://www.pinterest.com/nazranaanj/_shop/) Quotes “I used to be a below average student when I was in India. I was a straight-A student when I moved to the US. But never has my dad looked at our report cards. He never cared about our studies. He always believed that kids should be allowed to play and grow.” - Shashank “How do you know what job to dedicate? So the standard is, if you think someone can do that work 75% as efficiently as you can, hand it over.” - Shashank “Whether it’s your mom, whether it’s your dad, whether it’s your best friend, until they’re supportive - I’m not saying you shouldn’t guide the bride to do the right thing, that’s exactly why we’re here - but if you don’t like something there is a way to say it. There is a way to convey that message without being very dramatic about things.” - Shivangi “Once you see her coming down that aisle - you could [have seen] her in that outfit in the store a million times - but once you see her coming down that aisle in her full get-up, it’s a memory.” -Shashank Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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On the last Wednesday of every month, Christy & Michelle answer listener questions live on the show - YAWA! This month we're answering questions about Catering Compromises, Sibling Issues, Airbnb Weddings, Listener Comments on Our Recent Episode with Linsday, and more! Question #1: Compromising on catering and dealing with a sibling issue The first detail is the caterer. Fiancé really wants to go with a PA Dutch-style caterer, but I prefer a farm-to-table vendor that we found. Both are on our venue's preferred vendor list, so that isn't helpful in making a decision. I understand that PA Dutch food is really good and a family staple for him, but I'm thinking about our guests and various food sensitivities, and feel that farm-to-table would be more accessible for our families. Any input would be appreciated. The second detail is one of our potential guests. My older sister (I'm one of 5) and I don't have a great relationship. I'm non-binary, and over Christmas 2 years ago, she made some really terrible comments about both my sexuality and gender identity. I originally didn't want to invite her at all, but my family sort of guilted me into it. I know I probably won't have much one-on- one time with her, but some members of my wedding party (mixed genders) will be wearing suits, as that's what makes them comfortable and their comfort is important to me. I know my parents would be upset if she wasn't there, but I'm not willing to put people that I am on good terms with in the position of possibly having their choice of clothing lead to insults of their character. Again, any advice would be more appreciated than I can tell you. Answer to #1: Sound's like you got off to a great start with wedding planning! Caterer: PA Dutch-style caterer, but I prefer a farm-to-table. Can you compromise? Can you do PA Dutch-style for cocktail hour and F to T for dinner? OR Can you maybe do stations for dinner and have them themed so that you get the both of both worlds? Inviting Your Sister: I'm sorry to hear that your sister is unaccepting and was hurtful to you about who you are. That is really difficult. You have 4 sisters, wow! I can see how it's important for your parents that all of their children be present at the wedding. I do think inviting her is the right thing to do, but I would hope that you did not ask her to be a member of your wedding party...did you?? There is no certainty that you sister will cause a scene. Even your language on your email said "possibly having their choice of clothing lead to insults of their character." I think having her there, but as you said not really giving much one-on-one time to her, should be fine. I see estranged siblings at weddings all the time and they typically behave. HOWEVER, if she starts acting up and being rude and loud leading up to the wedding and giving you the impression that she will not behave on your wedding day, then you have every right to un-invite her. Additionally, I want you to remember and keep in mind all the other family and friends that love and support you and that will be there on your wedding day. Don't focus on the negative and don't let it worry you. Question #2: Can we rent an Airbnb for our Wedding? My fiancé and I are on a tighter budget for our wedding and since his mom knows many vendors in our area that could provide us a tent, chairs and tables, etc., we’re looking to maybe do a backyard wedding. The only problem with that is that we aren’t all that close with anyone we know that have big enough backyards for even just the reception. I remember hearing about renting an Airbnb with a big, beautiful backyard for a wedding - is this even doable? Have y’all ever done an Airbnb wedding or know even how to go about this? We want to have around 100 guests so I don’t know if having so many people at a rented place like this is even possible. Answer to #2: It is not entirely impossible, but that would be generally with less than 50 people. Not may Airbnb property owners allow parties or events, so there is a lot of searching that would need to be done to find one. You then have to communicate with the owners directly. Make sure the contract states that the date cannot be pulled or changed by the owner. Ask specific questions about capacity, parking, local noise ordinance, and all their policies. peerspace.com (https://www.peerspace.com/) is a company that aggregates properties that are available to rent for meetings, etc. That might be a good place to research. There is a lot that goes into a private home wedding, so make sure you have every detail figured out from trash to parking to where cooking will be, etc. Question #3: My fiance is in a wheelhair Fiancé is in a wheelchair, and the bride wonders if she should be sitting or standing during the ceremony. Answer to #3: Do what feels right to you. There is no right answer. There are ways to stand and sit, only sitting, only standing, etc. The decision might be made right then and there at the ceremony. It is not uncommon for the couple to be sitting the whole time (ie: Catholic Mass Ceremony). Maybe have a chair available off to the side, and if you start to feel like you want to sit in it, do so. You don’t have to be given permission for any movement. It’s your day! Pinterest is a great resource to see ways that others have done this. Just search "wheelchair wedding" Question #4: Religious mom wants religion in our ceremon and we do not My mother is very religious and wants [religion] to be a huge part of our ceremony. However, my fiancé is not religious and doesn't really want it to be a religious ceremony. My parents are paying for most of [the wedding], and I want to make her happy, so we are going to include a few elements including some readings. The biggest issue is the Officiant. We really want to have one of our friends officiate, as we want it to really be personal to us, but my mom wants it to be a pastor. It's causing a riff between us to where I get nervous to even talk about the ceremony with her because I don't want to have the same conversation over again (I don't do well with confrontation and want everyone to be happy). How can we make her understand that it's important to us to have someone we know and love marry us instead of someone that we don't know (we live in Seattle and the wedding will be in Illinois)? Answer to #4: I'm happy you are compromising and incorporating some readings. When someone else is paying for the wedding, it does often come with their demands. Are they DEMANDING this or are they just nagging? I too hate confrontation, but you are going to have to have it if this is important to you. I would use the wording you wrote in your email. "I don't want to have the same conversation over again"  "it's important to us to have someone we know and love marry us instead of someone that we don't know” Tell her that you are so thankful they want to pay for the wedding, but that this is something that you and your partner are not willing to do. Tell her that you love and respect her and don't want to fight about this. There is no easy way to have this conversation, so you just have to have it and then stop talking about it. You may also consider not taking the money from your parents if things don't get better. Is that an option? You don't want this to become a big fight, so choose your battles wisely and perhaps see if there are any other compromises you and your partner are willing to make with regard to the ceremony. Links We Referenced Michelle Walker Photography (https://michellewalker.com/) - California based Peerspace.com (https://www.peerspace.com/) Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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Kirsten and Margie talk to Christy all about their experience wedding planning as a Queer couple during the Pandemic. They share replanning their wedding multiple times, marriage equality, and more. Things get edgy on this one, so buckle up and enjoy! Kirstin is a creative living and desperately trying to thrive in Los Angeles, the land of creatives. She is a passionate dog mom, plant connoisseur, blossoming baker, and newlywed to her wonderful wife, Margie, who she has with her today too! Margie works in the talent agency space, is an intersectional feminist, a foodie at heart, and an aspiring forest hag. Kirstin, the creator of the Queerlyweds blog (https://hellokirstin.com/queerlyweds), states the goal of Queerlyweds is to be a wedding planning guide for Queer people where they can feel safe, seen, and secure. Everything she writes is based on real-life experiences and she always include personal anecdotes in her writing. Big Takeaways * Kirstin and Margie wrote their vows together and read them one line at time, switching back and forth. They found it so magical, and mesmerizing. * They ultimately decided to get married in October 2020, before the election, because of fears around the potential of losing marriage equality, and therefore certain rights that come in medical emergencies, etc. They made the decision to be sure they were protected. * The use of “bride” so widely can create a bit of an emotional labor overload. There is a lot of extra work to be done to increase representation. * Something to look for on vendor websites and social media grids that show representation/queer friendliness is language. Word choice, descriptions, explanations, etc. Ex: how heavily gendered is their content? Is their idea of weddings open-ended? * Because of the smaller wedding, and needing to be particular about who was attending, they eliminated plus-ones, unless they were friends of the couple. They also organized a small cocktail party for those who weren’t invited, but in the end felt that it was unnecessary. Some Potential Vendor Red Flags: * Use of the word "Jesus" can sometimes be a veiled way of saying the vendor does not do queer weddings * Terms like "Boss Babe" and "Boss Bitch" plays into hustle culture in a weird way, and can really come off as aggressively feminine Links We Referenced Queerlyweds on Instgram (https://www.instagram.com/queerlyweds/) Kirsten on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/hellokirstin/) hellokirstin.com/queerlyweds (https://hellokirstin.com/queerlyweds) Quotes “If this is what is going to happen, if this is the course of events that life is handing us, then that’s okay. Let’s make the most of it. Let’s still do the thing that’s going be incredible and beautiful and we’re going to be surrounded by people that we love, to celebrate us. We have these people that want to throw together a wedding for us in a week. Which was absolutely wild to me.” -Kirstin “If marriage equality wasn’t in the position that it’s in, I really wouldn’t feel pressured to get married. I don’t really think that marriage is necessary.” - Margie “Unfortunately, us existing is political. And us moving through the world. Us moving through the bridal industrial complex is political.” - Margie “I already know that I exist as a person that experiences certain marginalizations, I don’t need my vendors to remind me. I really don’t need that.” - Margie Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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Combining faiths and religious traditions into a ceremony can be both beautiful and confusing. Our guest, Rabbi Block is the master of dual and even multi-faith ceremonies. And of course, being that he is a Rabbi, we are getting some great insight into Jewish ceremonies as well. Rabbi Kenneth Block (https://rabbionthego.com/) began his rabbinical career in 1974 as the Rabbi of the Jewish Center in Havre de Grace, Maryland. In 1978, Rabbi Block was honored with the Boston College Alumni Association Award of Excellence for Religion. Rabbi Block retired after 40 years as an addiction Chaplain for the Veterans Administration Maryland Health Care Systems and as the Chaplain for the Bel Air, Maryland Volunteer Fire Company. Aside from the innumerable weddings and other religious and secular ceremonies Rabbi Block has performed in association with specific organizations, he has written and performed well over 500 ceremonies outside of those affiliations. Rabbi Block describes Jewish ceremonies, as well as weddings that are combined with other clergy and belief systems. Big Takeaways * There is a difference between being religious and being observant. Rabbi Block highlights how religion is about having relationships with others, so that makes marriage religious, inherently. * Rabbi Block officiates many many weddings, and he is not only available to a certain crowd, or congregation. In fact, his credo is, “No couple should be denied the right to be joined together.” * Fun history bit: Bridesmaids and groomsmen were originally included as a line of defense when two rival families came together. * If the officiant is your dad and is also walking you down the aisle, logistically you should absolutely have a planner to help with this. There is a lot of thought that goes into this process and no one wants to be worried about this on their wedding day! If you must do it on your own, get all the right resources ahead of time (planning courses, etc.) so you aren’t scrambling on the day of. Links We Referenced rabbionthego.com (https://rabbionthego.com/) Rabbi Block on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrGzwWwGKWrgKfU53XPjYbA) Washington Post Article (https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/a-jewish-wedding-for-two-non-jews/2011/10/14/gIQAwaRvYN_story.html) Quotes “People [often] say, ‘I’m not religious.’ Well if you weren’t religious you wouldn’t be talking to me, so it’s important to separate being religious from being observant.” - Rabbi Block “The goal is always one ceremony, two traditions, regardless of what the two traditions are.” - Rabbi Block “I have come a millimeter from being Obi-Wan. I have been two millimeters from being Gandalf. But, always a bridesmaid, never a bride.” - Rabbi Block “It’s always what the couple wants, not what I want.” - Rabbi Block “There are no wedding ceremonies described in old or new testament.” - Rabbi Block Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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Some people start planning before they are officially engaged. It really does happen a lot more than you might think. Our guest this week is Lindsey Leardi. Lindsey has been a listener of the podcast for several months. She is not engaged yet, but she knows it's coming. She has started planning her wedding and we wanted to know more. Oh, and we have decided that Lindsey is our honorary little sister...we adore her! Big Takeaways * Set up a separate email that is just for your wedding! This is a great way to organize communications and saves time trying to hunt down emails later on. * When it comes to wedding parties, they are much less common than before. When they do happen, they tend to be very small, or mixed genders. When you have a wedding party, and a lot of friends, it can create a lot of drama or frustration. That is not to say it’s bad to have one, but when you have a lot of close friends, it can create a big challenge when choosing. * Another consideration is that being a bridesmaid, especially, is costly. According to a WeddingWire article from 2017, the average cost was $1200 per person. That price has only gone up since then. * The pressures of the big fancy wedding are still here post-covid times. Especially with social media. It’s important to remember that you can do what you want and what works for you. Comparing people with very different resources and experiences is a fruitless effort. *Links We Referenced * weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/actual-cost-of-being-a-bridesmaid (https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/actual-cost-of-being-a-bridesmaid) Quotes “Who in your group of friends makes you feel like the best version of yourself? Because that’s who you want in your close proximity orbit on your wedding day.” - Christy “People say, ‘you can say no,’ I mean how often does that happen? Who says no? Who is asked to a bridesmaid and then is like, umm..?” - Lindsey Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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Georgia Clark joins us to talk about her new rom-com novel, It Had To Be You (https://www.georgiaclark.com/it-had-to-be-you), set in the world of wedding planning in NYC. She also shares tips and fun stories of her own wedding planning experience. Big Takeaways During her research for the book and her own wedding, Georgia (https://www.georgiaclark.com/about-georgia-clark) dug into where traditions come from. For instance, she found out that the idea that an engagement ring needs to cost 3x your monthly salary comes from a jewelry company’s marketing campaign. Georgia, an Australian, married an American woman, and found that there were a lot of feelings that came up with such a big decision. It meant leaving her home life behind, having a wedding thousands of miles away from her family and dear friends, etc. There was a lot of emphasis on making a loving and connected experience for their wedding, especially since so many people were traveling in for the celebrations. They had a phone-free wedding! Their personal friend, author and speaker, Esther Perel (https://www.estherperel.com/) talked and led a conversation to help get real connectivity between guests. Links We Referenced georgiaclark.com (https://www.georgiaclark.com/) generationwomen.us (https://www.generationwomen.us/) estherperel.com (https://www.estherperel.com/) bookshop.org (https://bookshop.org/?gclid=CjwKCAjwtdeFBhBAEiwAKOIy53ybuMGd2OLavmrDG5rwEoaIvG9VuAP2Y0EJ8lCXhRXJbT5uY8az4hoCbVkQAvD_BwE) indiebound.org (https://www.indiebound.org/) bhldn.com (https://www.bhldn.com/) Quotes “It’s funny actually, the more I think about it, how similar writing a novel and wedding planning is.” - Georgia “We’ve been together for five years when we got engaged. So, we have been through things together, and lived together, and knew each other pretty well. But you’re still constantly learning how to live with another human being and make them happy, and make you happy, and make you happy as a couple. Which are three totally different things, and completely different agendas. And to truly be able to do that is tough, you know?” - Georgia “In our family dynamics, we are generally raised for autonomy or raised for loyalty. And if you’re raised for autonomy, then the values are go out into the world, go and see it, do it on your own, independence is important. What are your ideas, as opposed to the community’s ideas? That’s being raised for autonomy. Or you’re raised for loyalty which means family is first, family is everything.” - Georgia “It’s sort of an interesting part of the book, that the central relationship, of what is certainly a romantic comedy, is not a sexual relationship. And it’s not between a man and a woman. It’s between two women.” - Georgia Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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On the last Wednesday of every month, Christy & Michelle answer listener questions live on the show - YAWA! This month we're answering questions about: Destination wedding logistics / Hybrid wedding invitations / Food for a multi-cultural wedding / Surprise pregnancy while wedding planning / who to share wedding excitement with when nobody you're around regularly are invited to the wedding. Question #1: Voicemail Couple lives in Hawaii and family lives on the mainland. They have decided to have wedding in Hawaii but they have not resolved the guest list issue. They have a lot of potential guests, large family, etc. There are still some COVID restrictions in place, max 100 people including wedding staff. It’s also later next year, so they might not have the same restrictions. They don’t want to hurt feelings, but make sure people know about the limits. What should they do with Save The Dates? How can we make our guests feel welcomed to the destination? Answer to #1: Just send Save The Dates to the 100 people for now. Not invitations! Don’t talk about it anymore with your family, you don’t have to make the big decision now. Make a list, whittle it down to 100 people as the A List, and then make a B List for if restrictions are removed or people say no. Don’t rush anyone to RSVP quickly. Because it’s a destination wedding, send the Save The Dates earlier than you normally would, this gives time for the guests to make plans. There are lots of things you can do for the guests at a destination wedding. If you are having everyone at one hotel/resort for the whole wedding, it would be really nice to leave a little gift in their room. People will most likely want to adventure and explore on their own. And if your budget is not huge, this is plenty to make everyone feel warm and welcome. Question #2: I have a question about addressing invitations. Due to COVID restrictions and an over abundance of caution, my fiancé and I decided to do a pretty small wedding of 60 people (which is hard with two Mexican families)! We have also decided to stream our wedding to include family members we can’t invite to physically come to the wedding. Because of this, we are having 3 types of invitations: 1) physical guest invitation 2) virtual guest invitation 3) hybrid invitation where part of a single household is invited physically and the other is virtually. For the hybrid, it’s mostly split between parents who are invited in person and their kids (ages ranging from 1 year to over 21) who are invited virtually. My question is how to address these hybrid invitations - should I have 2 separate invites in the envelope with the parents names on one card and the other with the kids names? Or if they are older kids, maybe 15+, should they just get a completely separate invite? I’m not sure what makes the most sense. Answer to #2: We've talked so much about this topic, but never this specific angle - about invitations for the same event, but two different ways, and to members of the same family. I'm actually not sure of the best answer! I'd like to answer this with Michelle on a YAWA if that's ok with you. I'm going to put it in the outline for this month's YAWA now. We usually record those in the last 10 days or so of the month. In the meantime - my thinking is this - I think you should send the main invitations to the in- person wedding to everyone you are inviting. Address the invitations specifically to the people invited - using their full names. If there are kids in the household - include an insert in the invitation with the virtual information. I don't think you need to send a separate invitation to them for the virtual component. If you are inviting some people to the virtual wedding and they live just the two of them (so NOT the hybrid families), you can send them their own invitations with all of the virtual info. I hope this makes sense! You can also send the invitations for the in-person guests first, and then send out the invitations for the virtual guests a few weeks later. Some of the in-person invitees might decline and opt to just attend virtually. I think it would be the most clear if you just include an insert in the mail invitation that you’re sending to the parents. You could even hand write on it - “Jane and Hank- I’d love to have you join us on the live stream via zoom that we are setting up for the wedding. Hope to celebrate with you in person later in the year!” And then the insert is just the virtual information. I don’t think a separate invitation or anything that official/formal is necessary. Question 3: My fiancé and I are having our wedding in October 2022 and we’re starting to plan things out and create a budget and look at vendors etc etc. My fiancé, Jonathan, is Mexican and I’m white. We’re both from the US but he and his family definitely have a lot of traditions and customs that we will be incorporating into the wedding. One of these will be the food. Most of the Mexican weddings and parties we’ve been to normally serve carnitas (pork), rice, and beans, as well as tortillas. We want to provide this for our Mexican guests (who will likely be the majority) because we feel that is what they will be expecting. BUT I want to provide other options for members of my family who maybe don’t eat pork and are probably expecting other options such as chicken or beef. Our plan for the Mexican food is to buy the carnitas already cooked and then my future MIL would be making all the rice and beans, and we would have a buffet style. What I am wondering is: are we able to do that, but also have a catering company as well to provide more options for my side of the family and other friends of ours who maybe aren’t too keen on Mexican food? Answer to #3: Not every Mexican wedding has to have carnitas. You could choose different protein options! Since the pork is more divisive, it might make sense to offer chicken or carne asada. Caterers often do not like to even touch a job where there is homemade food available. It is a liability. The go around is instead of getting it catered, you can pick up or have food delivered. Then the staff isn’t there and they do not have liability. You can set that other food up the same way, as a second buffet. You can look into staffing companies for servers who are just there to serve food but have no liability with food preparation. Question # 4: Voicemail Bride is pregnant and family is saying they need to wed before delivery. But it isn’t what she wants and isn’t sure how to tell them they don’t want a courthouse wedding. Also, she wants to know how to feel like a bride in this season, planning for a baby and not really focusing on the wedding. Answer to #4: There is no reason, unless you need it legally, to worry about getting married before the baby is born. The wedding is for you. This is the beginning of many times your family will interject and tell you what they think is best. And it’s coming from a good place. But this is the start of your new life together. If what you want to do is wait until next year June 4th, then that is what you should do. And your baby doesn’t care if you’re married or not. This way they can also be in the photos! Planning a wedding and getting ready for a baby are not mutually exclusive! If you’re going to wait until next year to have the wedding, that gives you room to be the expectant mom and THEN plan your wedding. Question #5: We currently live in Sweden but are planning our wedding to be stateside in 2022. Living in Sweden, my fiancé and I have made several new friends, but we are actually not planning on inviting them to the USA wedding, as our guest list with family and closest friends is already at 150 people and we are working with a more limited budget. I have really been enjoying the wedding planning process and sometimes feel excited to share it with the people I talk to here, but have hesitated to do so, since I am not planning on inviting them to the wedding. Some of the people most likely already would understand, but some might expect an invitation. Is there an unspoken code to who you can talk to about wedding planning details when you're spending so much time on it and just so excited? Do you have to reciprocate bridal party memberships, and how can you break it to someone if you won't reciprocate, nor likely give an invite to them? My fiancé and I plan to host a party in Sweden before or after we have our wedding next year with all of our Swedish community, so that we can have a chance to celebrate with the friends we've made here. Answer to # 5: Stop being so friendly! You don’t have to appease everyone that loves you. And you are clearly very loved. Our suggestion was going to be what you said here! Have a reception/party in Sweden and invite all those people that love you but are not getting invited to the big day. You do not have to reciprocate bridal party memberships! You’re going to have a great time. You have the right ideas here. Links We Referenced zola.com/bigwedding (https://welcome.zola.com/allproducts_alldevices_50/?pkey=bigweddingpod&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=bigwedding&) - SAVE50 manlybands.com/bigwedding (https://manlybands.com/?utm_content=bigwedding&utm_source=veritone&utm_medium=podcast&utm_term=january&utm_campaign=podcast) Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. Thank you to our new Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) members! You all make it possible to keep this podcast going. Amber D. / Laura G. / Toni D. / Karina A. / Lauren G. / Kaitlin S. / Kerry L. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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In this episode, we're calling bullsh#t on the wedding being "all about the bride". A wedding is the union of 2 people. Let's pay attention and pamper each them...equally! The dedicated groomsmen coordinator concept began to develop as founder Cameron Fontaine (https://www.fontaineconcierge.com/aboutus) decided to elevate the experience of his groom clients. While working as the Made-To-Measure specialist for a luxury menswear retailer, clients would come in to have bow ties made within an hour of their wedding. While attending to these sometimes frantic gentlemen, Cameron realized that the bride would never have to leave her room for anything on her wedding day. Why should the groom have to? After identifying this void in the wedding service industry, Cameron began to offer what is now referred to as "Day-of Groomsmen Concierge”. These services included pressing shirts, primping groomsmen, staging photography, pinning boutonnières, and of course tying bow ties. Big Takeaways * When it comes to the wedding day between a bride and groom, the bride is often pampered in unexpected ways, while the groom doesn’t even expect special treatment. Think about the things the groom wants from his experience, allow room for a little selfishness in the brainstorming time. * The special day should be special for both of the couple! There can be a lot of missed moments from things being done in the old way, like the groom getting dressed. * When planning with the photographer, they don’t need as much time in the groom’s room, but it can be meaningful to have them pop in to take photos of the "getting ready" process too. * All this translates to two grooms as well! Cameron’s Tips for getting dressed on the wedding day 1. Wear your pants at their proper height 2. No show socks - loafers are popular 3. Know the proper way to tuck your shirt 4. Wear suspenders with a tuxedo, and a belt with a suit 5. Have an emergency sewing kit and lint roller on hand 6. Have someone else put on your cuff links and use this as a photo op 7. Everyone should get dressed at the same time for the photos 8. Have a second shirt handy *Links We Referenced * FontaineConcierge.com (Mention the Big Wedding Planning Podcast for 20% off or use code: BIGWEDDING) instagram.com/fontaineconcierge facebook.com/fontaineconcierge Quotes “I think the word of the day is intention. Asking the groom, ‘what is the one thing you want for yourself?’Just think about that and get him into a selfish mindset, just for a second, to start identifying the things the groom wants for their experience.” - Cameron “Be authentic in your experience.” - Cameron “To me, I feel like it’s not so much, it’s just the same things that are happening on the bride’s side.” - Cameron “How many times do you get to be your own James Bond? You’re going to be dressed to the nines. You’re going to be in a beautiful venue. You’re probably going to be transported in a super nice car. Take those shots. Get that photography and that video of you looking the best ". - Cameraon Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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Gone are the days of calling that big tux rental place. Gone are the days of seeing your Groomsmen wearing that ill-fitting suit. Gone are the days of spending hundreds of dollars on renting a tux or suit that's been worn by a hundred people before you...yuck. Enter SuitShop! SuitShop (formerly The Groomsman Suit) is changing the old, archaic way of suiting. They are an all-inclusive, brilliant, affordable, excellent quality brand. Listen in as Christy and Michelle interview co-founders Jeanne Foley & Diana Ganz, who by the way have been friends since the 3rd grade! Oh, and you're welcome! ;) SuitShop is the first and only brand to offer a coordinated collection of suiting for men, women, non-binary individuals, and children. They’re very size-inclusive, offering one of the largest size ranges of any brand. Additionally, their three adult fits are interchangeable allowing individuals to mix and match combinations to find a fit they prefer. Jeanne Foley is a fashion industry expert and entrepreneur who co-founded The Groomsman Suit in 2016. Jeanne spent 12+ years in the fashion industry, engineering apparel fit & construction as a Technical Designer for Under Armour, Abercrombie & Fitch and Talbots. She earned her Bachelor of Arts Degree in Fashion Design from the Illinois Institute of Art. Prior to co-founding The Groomsman Suit, Diana Ganz served as Chief Executive Officer for two different Boston based companies. She earned her degree in Biopsychology from the University of Michigan and graduated with an MBA from the MIT Sloan School of Management. Together, they join us to talk about building a company, friendship in business, rebranding, and great suits. Big Takeaways * SuitShop provides a high-quality suit that looks great, fits very well, is comfortable, and affordable. While other retailers offer sets and extremely high-priced options for custom orders, SuitShop offer separates so you can find the right pieces for you. They are not ‘true custom’ but they have every size imaginable, and you can mix and match. The company takes pride in its quality and sizing. Fit is a priority at SuitShop! If a customer doesn't know their size at all - the technology on their site asks questions like height, weight, age, shoe size, and typical pants waist size. The system then calculates with the fit finder and suggests the best-fit options. From there, customers can do virtual appointments and talk to a team member. Their suits are lightweight, and travel well! The price point is between $194 and $294. Their suits are less expensive or the same price as a rental. They offer a free at-home 7-day trial with a free exchange policy. They also offer shoes, ties, shirts, accessories and more. Links We Referenced * SuitShop.com (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) (Code: BIGWEDDING10 for 10% off) Quotes “When times get really tough, you have to have that person that’s just your rock.” - Diana “Our supply chain is super lean. We manufacture our fabric from raw materials, and we are really excited to be working on new material with stretch and recycled components, which is super important in the fashion industry.” - Jeanne “We get so many customers saying ‘I really didn’t think I would get a suit that fit me ever, off the rack, at this price point.’ And they’re always amazed.” - Jeanne Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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Hosts of the new unscripted Netflix show, “Marriage or Mortgage,” Sarah Miller and Nichole Holmes are our guests on this one! Sarah Miller (https://southernvineco.com/meet-sarah/) is a wedding planner and Nichole Holmes (https://www.linkedin.com/in/nichole-holmes-b68b821/) works in real estate. The show centers around trying to convince a client to either choose the house or choose the wedding. Also on this episode, have the pleasure of interviewing Denise & Nick who were one of the couples on the show. Denise & Nick were fetatured on episode 2 and chose....Mortgage! tThey share the decision to pick a house over a wedding. As an added bonus, we had a few TBWPP listeners and fans of Marriage of Mortgage on the Zoom call so they would have an opportunity to watch and ask questions. Big Takeaways When it comes to having a wedding planner, a huge bonus is their connections. Sarah, for instance, has planned weddings in Nashville for many years, and has strong ties with her vendors. She can help get costs down, and find the best team for couple's big day. Remember the most important part of the decision making is how you begin the commitment you give to each other. You can get a house without getting married. You can get married without a wedding, etc. Questions from the Zoom audience: Q: Is there a season 2 in the works?   A: Not sure yet! Keep watching and get the numbers in. Q: Did you ever want to shake someone to choose the house over the wedding? A: Every one! Ultimately they get to choose. Links We Referenced netflix.com/title/81113929 Southern Vine & Co. (https://southernvineco.com/) Quotes “Hiring a wedding planner saves you money, saves you time...everything in the long run.” - Sarah “You can get a house, put the majority of the money down, and then have something intimate, and special, and meaningful and still have all of the 'ooey gooey' loveliness that this one thinks they should have.” - Nichole “It is all about us digging deep and trying to know our couples, in real life and on the show, and really figure out what they want. And meet those expectations or exceed them as much as we can.” - Sarah Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) SuitShop (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/)

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Finally, governments are starting to pay attention to the Live Events Industry. We are getting more defined guidance on how we can safely hold wedding celebrations. It can be hard to navigate through this constantly changing information. We hope this episode will give you some tips on how to navigate both gathering info in the county your wedding will take place and how to communicate with your guests and vendor team. Decisions need to be made and we want to arm you with as much information as we can. Guest #1: Elisabeth Kramer (https://www.elisabethkramer.com/about) is a wedding planner from Portland, Oregon and creator of Altared (https://altaredpdx.com/), an international event for wedding vendors who want to change the world. Addressing the concerns of the pandemic, and weddings being cancelled, delayed, etc., we cover all things covid and what is legal when hosting a wedding during a pandemic. Guest #2: Kate Whelan (http://katewhelanevents.com/about-us/) of the California Events Coalition (https://www.californiaeventscoalition.com/) joins us also (she was last on Episode #214 (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/episodes/sst5xwxy5287df6z2vam6pndloffym)) to share where and how to find resources for weddings, and live events country-wide! Big Takeaways When it comes to finding information on what your state is requiring for weddings, it can be very difficult. Some states have websites, and others don’t. Some have confusing wording, etc. Some people have had weddings that gently ignored some of the pandemic rules and regulations and the day is so stressful. It is not a total relaxation and escape from the pandemic, every one will have it on their mind the whole time. Usually for the ceremony, people find it easy to obey the rules and keep their masks on, etc. But when it’s the reception, the rules tend to fall to the wayside. Rules need to be set, in order for people to relax and have a safe day. Otherwise, it’s sort of hovering over the whole day. Is it okay to only invite those who are vaccinated to your wedding? - Yes, because it’s your day and you get to set the tone for your day. It is complicated and difficult, but ultimately you and your partner get to set the rules for how you want your marriage to start. - Elisabeth has templates on her website on how to have these conversations! Can you ask your vendors if they are vaccinated? - You can ask. They might not want to answer. Be respectful. You are allowed to turn them down should it feel needed. - Share your COVID regulations that you created for the wedding with your vendors. HIPAA (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_Insurance_Portability_and_Accountability_Act) is a buzz word and term being thrown around a lot these days, but it is not actually being applied correctly. It is far more about the exchanging of medical information without permission between professionals. What is important is knowing that the rules are constantly changing, and respect is important. With these conversations, meet everyone at a place of empathy, but know what your boundaries are. If this is all too much, do it next year. Health matters. Elisabeth recommends deciding your guidelines, and whole wedding plan idea 60 days before your wedding date. Clubhouse chats with the California Events Coalition are run every Tuesday at 12PM PST. Questions that are asked frequently in the Clubhouse chats: - Who is in charge of enforcing dancing rules and regulations? - Ultimately, venues are responsible to monitor and control the dance floor in a safe way. At a home wedding, the host is responsible. - What happens if everyone is vaccinated? You can take your mask off when you are outside normally, however, if you have vendors present, you must wear masks, because they have found that even vaccinated folks can spread certain variants of the virus. - When it comes to having fully vaccinated weddings, the conversation should be more personal than just a note on an invitation. No one should be asking for their vaccination card or information, but guests are allowed to share that with you if they choose to. There are companies that are covid and HIPAA compliant companies that could filter this with privacy intact. Quotes “I have learned a lot in the past year that it’s much easier to feel joy when we also feel safe.” - Elisabeth “The happiest couples, the couples that felt the most joy on their wedding day in the past year, were the couples that made the hardest choices.” - Elisabeth “I don’t want to be the planner for a super spreader wedding. I don’t want to be the planner for a wedding where somebody dies. I don’t want to be a planner for a wedding where the couple gets sick. What a shitty place to start your marriage.” - Elisabeth “If you’re wanting to get married this year, you have to be willing to be flexible.” - Kate Links We Referenced elisabethkramer.com (https://www.elisabethkramer.com/) Elisabeth on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/elisabethkramerpdx/) Elisabeth on Twitter (https://twitter.com/ekramerpdx) altaredpdx.com (https://altaredpdx.com/) Elisabeth's COVID Resources (https://www.elisabethkramer.com/covid-resources) katewhelanevents.com (http://katewhelanevents.com/) californiaeventscoalition.com (https://www.californiaeventscoalition.com/) liveeventscoalition.org (https://www.liveeventscoalition.org/) Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Kate Whelan.

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On the last Wednesday of every month, Christy & Michelle answer listener questions live on the show - YAWA! This month we're answering questions about: Sending thank you notes early. Floor Plans & flow of events. Starting over with wedding plans cause things are getting too complicated. Saying no to parents about an after-party. FMIL wants a separate wedding weekend party just for her side of the family. How much to tip a wedding planner and more! Question #1: Thank you notes & Event Flow 1. We have already received wedding gifts from a few eager friends and family members. Our wedding is in late June. Should we send out our "thank you" notes now, or wait until after the wedding? It seems like a long time between now and June to not thank them for the gift. 2. We are struggling with our wedding floor plan/flow of events. We are getting married at a hotel and everything will be outside. We will have the ceremony on one lawn, and the dinner/reception on another lawn. For cocktail hour, we are considering adding a third location. Luckily, the hotel is somewhat small and guests won't be walking far to each location. Do you think three separate spaces is too much? Should we combine the cocktail hour and dinner/reception to be in the same space even though it will be kind of akward, or add a third location? Answer to #1: Thank you notes & flow of events 1. Send the thank you’s now! No reason to wait, and if you have the time now, it will be nice for the givers to hear from you. It is also helpful to have a running list of who you have sent a thank you note too on your Guest List spreadsheet. 2. Incorporating a third location if possible is the best choice. People like to explore and be moved throughout a wedding day. It adds to the overall experience of the event. And it helps logistically as well. The reception area set-up timing can be more spread out, allowing your planner to spend more time focusing on each area. Logistically, make sure you have the right amount of time for people to move into each new space. And always have music! No one should enter in to a quiet area. This might require your DJ or musicians to bring a 3rd sound sytsem. Question #2: Though the wedding is not for another year, budgets are a bit more of a concern than pre- covid. They had a wedding planned a bit out of town, with shuttles, a live band, etc, but wonder if they should just cancel those plans and move the ceremony into town. Answer to #2: This is a good example of the kind of compromises and decisions you and your partner will have to make together in the wedding, and throughout your marrried life together. It’s not always easy. Losing a job, and potentially taking on debt are big factors that can affect you down the road and cause undue stress. There is no price tag you can put on peace of mind. If dropping this venue will save you stress, anxiety, debts, regret, etc. for the next year, then it is worth it. Remember, the wedding is only the beginning. Celebrate in a way that you can feel good about. You can have a dance party anywhere! Question #3: Her fiance's parents want to have an after party and she does not want that. They are having a brunch wedding. The fiancé’s dad wants to have a party after the brunch, and the couple does not feel totally comfortable with that. She is wondering how to communicate this, and help him see their point of view. They do want to have a bigger party, reception in another year when hopefully the pandemic is ove, it feels safer, and they can gather without masks. Answer to #3: The bottom line is that you are not comfortable with it. It is hard to do this, the intentions from mom and dad are good. However, it is important for you, and your fiancé, to put your foot down. Do not put yourself in a position where you are trying to convince them. Say something like “I am not here to give you my reasoning nor try to convince you to change your mind. I am just letting you know, we’re not doing it.” Or, “We are having the wedding brunch and that is it.” Question #4: Competing Get-Togethers for the wedding weekend The couple asked the groom's parents if they could use their backyard to host welcome drinks the night before the wedding, thinking it would not be a big ask considering they had previously hosted a whole rehearsal for his brother’s wedding. The parents came back saying they don’t want to use the backyard because they wanted to host "their-side of the family only" for a separate party that same night. Ultimately, it’s fine with them if the parents don’t want them to use the backyard, however they are not okay with the fact that they are planning an party that exclude's the bride's family the night before the wedding. They had hoped for something that combined the two families, so people could get to know each other and have a nice evening. The groom is handling all direct communication with his parents and has reiterated that everyone should be together. The couple is on the same page of wanting to hang out with all their guests, and ask what they should do and how to handle this situation. Answer to #4: Yes, this is sticky. Honestly, his mom sounds a littttttle bit like Christy's mom. She loves to host, but is very particular about who she is hosting, and when things don't go according to her plan, she never forgets it, digs in and stiff arms her way to something that SHE wants even if it's not convenient, polite, or something everyone else agrees is a good idea. You guys are already doing what we would have suggested, so good on you! We think the only thing left to do is go in stronger, one more time, and with a backup plan if you don't get her to change the plans or relent. Your fiancé needs to sit down with his parents -You should be there too, but he can set it up - and insist that this party directly conflicts with your plans for the night before your wedding. The rehearsal brings two families together so that they can get to know each other before the big day - a day that involves 2 humans committing to become a new family together! 2! That's 2 individuals with 2 different families and everyone is there to celebrate the same thing, in theory. So you both need to be honest with his parents that this is just not going to work. The night before the wedding and the wedding day will be mixed affairs. Families will mingle. People can make their own plans around your two events, of course, but there should not be 2 events you will be present at and then another event that only his side of the family is invited to AND that directly conflicts with your rehearsal dinner/drinks plan. See if they will reconsider the day-after event, or maybe even his side of the family hanging out before they all get to the rehearsal. Frame it so they open their mind to the idea that this weekend is an opportunity to get to know new people. Not just cluster up with 'your own'. You have to be ready to make your own decision if they don't budge. In that case, you just embrace a plan. Rehearsal. Small rehearsal dinner. Welcome drinks at a bar. Wedding the next day. Their plans will not be something you deal with at all. We have a feeling the welcome drinks will end up being family that pop in (and maybe go to his parents house after...or plan to and then don't!), and all of your friends coming in from out of town. Plus your family. And that's fine! The wedding weekend doesn't have to be everyone hanging out as a big group the entire time. Know and trust that people will come to the events you invite them to because they love you and they want to hang out with you and be social. His mom might have some social anxiety or is just stubborn. You can't control what other people do - but make your plans. Send out the invitations and then plan on having a wonderful time. It's a bummer that his parents are acting like this - but don't let it become more than it needs to be. Have one last firm discussion with them and then decide you two are going to have an awesome weekend regardless. We believe in you! Question #5: How much should we tip our planner? What is a good tip for a wedding planner? It seems like the advice out there is up to $500. Wasn’t sure why it was capped at $500 but was wondering if there are exceptions to giving more than $500. Are there times when you give a percentage of the wedding planning fee and it goes over $500? Answer to #5 (by Christy): Can I ask you what the wedding planner's fee is, total? And does that include 10 hours on the wedding day? Is she doing a great job for you thus far? A $400-500 tip is probably most typical, and that would be for month-of coordination, when the fee is approx. $3000. I have gotten more and less, and sometimes, no tip at all. All tips are appreciated! If I have an assistant on the day of and the couple doesn't also tip her a little bit directly, I will give her around 50-100 from the tip I get, so that's another thing to keep in mind. When I have gotten more than $500- it is either because the couple is very well off, or because my fee was higher, and they were basing tips on a 15-20% rate. Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. Sponsors for this episode zola.com/bigwedding SAVE50 manlybands.com/bigwedding The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Susan's Travel Services (https://susanstravelservices.com/ready-to-book/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/)

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Today we talk about some easy ways to make your wedding more sustainable / Green. Remember it is not all or nothing, do what you can! Our guest is Sarah Baillie is a sustainable wedding expert who educates soon-to-wed couples on how to plan the unique wedding of their dreams while embracing their eco-conscious values. Sarah also oversees SoKind, an alternative gift registry, where couples can register for secondhand or homemade gifts, charitable donations, gifts of time or service, experiences, and more. Big Takeaways While there are less meals and less people typically at a destination wedding, local weddings are actually more environmentally friendly. Flying vs driving is a big difference, flying emits about 75x the emissions. When you have your ceremony and reception in one place, you reduce emissions, and it does make the day a lot easier. If you do have to go from a point A to point, having a shuttle bus is a much more efficient means of travel than everyone driving separately. Choosing a place that is already pretty can reduce costs and waste of one-time use decorations. Sarah opted for clutches instead of flowers for herself and her wedding party. This was another way she was able to reduce waste, plus she had the added bonus of having a bag to put her vows in. Opting out of red meat, or going full vegetarian are great ways to reduce your carbon foot print. Because Sarah is vegetarian and her partner is not, they decided to have entirely vegetarian appetizers, and chicken and fish for the entree. Finding a vintage, or gently worn wedding gown can be a game changer. Free Ever After Bridal (https://freeeverafterbridal.com/) is the place that Sarah went, and was able to have the whole experience of the dressing room and trying many different styles and options. Facebook marketplace and Buy Nothing (https://buynothingproject.org/) groups are a great option for decor. In Buy Nothing, you could potentially give or receive the exact items you are looking for without any cost associated. Taking a little time to look for items somewhere other than amazon, or where you would have to buy new can be great for sustainability. Buffets do tend to have more waste than plated dinners. Making desserts easier to walk around with helps reduce waste. Ask what happens with the food that is left behind! Keep track of your numbers so they are as accurate as possible. Ask the caterer to bring to-go containers for buffets, ideally not plastic, so you can send the guests off with food! Favors are a great place to reduce waste. Inevitably, there will be leftovers, so think about things you would want. Consumables are a great idea, like cookies. Biodegradable/Compostable dishes and utensils instead of plastic and styrofoam - Party favors like glasses that guests will use throughout the night Links We Referenced Wildlife-Friendly Wedding Calculator (https://www.endangeredspeciescondoms.com/weddings/calculator.html) wildlifefriendlywedding.org (https://www.endangeredspeciescondoms.com/weddings/) Adventure Aquarium (https://www.adventureaquarium.com/) (Sarah's Wedding Venue) Free Ever After Bridal (https://freeeverafterbridal.com/) (Where Sarah bought her wedding gown) So Kind Registry (https://sokindregistry.org/registry) (Alternative Gift Registry) Center For Biological Diversity (https://www.biologicaldiversity.org/) Center For Biological Diveristy on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/choose_wild/) Center For Biological Diversity on Twitter (https://twitter.com/choosewild) Quotes “Another decision, that I recommend, is choosing a place that’s already pretty and doesn’t need a lot of decoration.”- Sarah “About 10% of all food at weddings goes to waste, so anywhere you can find ways to reduce that is going to be beneficial.” - Sarah “I don’t want it to get overwhelming of all the sustainability things, every little bit counts, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing.” - Sarah “You could opt out of favors, all together, but I did like the idea that you could do something good with them.” - Sarah The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Sarah Baille.

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Jamie Lee is a stand-up comedian, actor, and established television writer/producer whom Elle Magazine recently named one of the top comedians to watch. In December 2016, Lee released her debut book Weddiculous (Harper Collins), which quickly rose to #1 on Bustle.com’s list of best wedding books. The book was adapted as an upcoming series, The Wedding Coach, for Netflix hosted and Executive Produced by Jamie. It premiered on April 7th, 2021. Jamie starred as Ali Reissen, the female lead in the second season of the Judd Apatow-produced HBO series CRASHING, opposite Pete Holmes. Jamie wrote and starred in “The Viewing Party” episode of CRASHING, which was directed by Judd Apatow and honored by the New York Times in their piece on The Best TV Episodes of 2019. In addition to being one of the core cast members of MTV’s hit show “Girl Code,” Lee has appeared on “Conan,” “The Late Late Show with James Corden,” “Last Call with Carson Daly,” “Chelsea Lately” and “@Midnight.” Big Takeaways When it came to planning her own wedding, and the day of, Jamie’s favorite parts were in the little pieces in the in-betweens. Like a walk to get iced coffee, and moments of lightness spontaneity that helped her snap out of the dreamlike flow of the day. Find people that make you feel calm, and cared for to surround you on your big day. It can be very stressful, and having people around that want to help and do so with ease can make all the difference. Jamie’s experience with her wedding planner (who was essentially a Venue Coordinator) was not super positive. Ultimately the planner did not ease the duties and stresses of the day in the way that would have actually been helpful. Do not just suffer through a bad planner! You are allowed to say no thank you and move on to someone new. Love your wedding planner! Questions from our live audience of Zoom Watchers Myriah: What do I do with my dress after the wedding? - Everyone recommended donating! Especially since she has already worn it twice and isn’t going to wear it again. Alex: How can we celebrate our engagement if our wedding is quite a ways down the road, and we haven’t started planning? - Enjoy each other. Take that slow time. You don’t have to do anything yet. Just enjoy that new title. You can also spread out your fun special events. The showers, and parties, etc. Gabrielle: After our elopement, can we put our registry on the announcements/reception invitation? The reception will be small and intimate later. - Jamie said she wouldn’t even think twice about it, if she got invited to the reception, but not the wedding. People want to give gifts. You can share your wedding website that would have the registry on it, too. Links We Referenced Weddiculous - Jamie Lee's Book (https://www.amazon.com/Weddiculous-Unfiltered-Guide-Being-Bride/dp/0062455605) Kleinfeld Bridal (https://www.kleinfeldbridal.com/) Spear Travel Group (https://speartravelgroup.com/) The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/) Quotes “I don’t like how people minimize wedding stress.” - Jamie “On the Wedding Coach, I kind of made up for all my lost time as a bad bridesmaid, by being the superstar bridesmaid and really just getting everything done that needed to get done.” - Jamie “It’s a really important reminder, if you feel like your relationship incurring damage because of the wedding, the thing that’s supposed to celebrate the relationship, then what is happening? What is it all for?” - Jamie The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Jamie Lee.

Weddiculous: An Unfiltered Guide to Being a Bride

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Wedfuly is at the helm of disrupting the wedding industry, removing financial, geographical, and health barriers — allowing anyone, anywhere to get married with all their loved ones in attendance. We are joined today by two couples who got married using Wedfuly, and Caroline Creidenberg - Founder and CEO. Wedfuly started in 2017 with a mission to use technology to democratize the wedding industry via online wedding planning. When the pandemic hit in March of 2020, they innovated to help their couples navigate their plans. One Zoom wedding later, they were onto something! Since then, they’ve planned and produced hundreds of virtual weddings. Big Takeaways For Kelly and Joe, they decided to have a hybrid-wedding. They had about 20 in-person guests, prioritizing family, and the rest were invited virtually. Using zoom, they were able to have so much interaction, and really enjoy the day with the guests all over the world. In the end, the people that were sad about not being there in person found that the way Wedfuly set up the day made everyone feel very included and in the moment. Kat and Han had completely planned and booked their wedding before the pandemic hit. They decided to cancel everything, and move the party to their backyard. Instead of rescheduling, it felt better to just switch the plans. Kat admits it was very very hard to make this decision, but ultimately was happy they went through with the changes. Her biggest tip was to feel the sadness, ugly cry, and then move on. Don’t avoid the mourning of that loss. Through working with Wedfuly, they were able to make a day that felt so complete, and included everyone, even those far away. A virtual wedding does not have to be a passive guest event. Wedfuly encourages the guests to dress up, turn cameras on, and be involved as much as possible throughout the day. The guests log in about 30 minutes before the wedding, and the team is able to help with any technical issues, share video and photos, and help them get settled before the big event starts. After the ceremony, they make time for an intermission. This is a good time for the guests to refill their drinks, use the rest room, etc. Wedfuly started as a virtual wedding planning service, but Caroline and her team adjusted quickly and started hosting full-virtual weddings. In 2020, they did over 500! Wedfuly is 100% virtual, so they require the couple to have a person on-site available as a contact. Some couples hire professional audio/video companies to have an elevated video experience. Links We Referenced Wedfuly & TBWPP (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding) ($100 off a Wedfuly package)  Kelly & Joe's Wedding (https://wedfuly.com/wedding-story-kelly-and-joe/) Katherine & Han's Wedding (https://wedfuly.com/wedding-story-katherine-and-han-de-jong/) The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/) Quotes “It was so important for us to have somebody that we trusted.” - Kelly “I got to experience my space in a different way and in a really special way that I can still enjoy out there today. My backdrop is still hanging.” - Kat “We don’t have to ‘cancel’ anything, we can just re-imagine it later.” - Han “The beauty of virtual world... is that their guests have a very up close and personal shot.” - Caroline The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Wedfuly (https://wedfuly.com/bigwedding/) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Caroline Creidenberg.

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On the last Wednesday of every month, we answer wedding planning questions from our listeners. This month, we are talking about Masks, Furniture Rental, Transportation, uneven wedding party, invitation etiquette, and racist family members. Question #1: Furniture Rental & Transportation Fiancé and her are getting married in Northern California. Regulations are allowing 25% capacity, dropping guest list from 180 to about 45. It is possible that the number would change before their wedding in six months. When and how should I book vendors that require knowing quantities? They are holding out on furniture rentals and a shuttle service. They do not want to put money down on the vendors until they know for sure how many guests there will be. Answer to #1: Follow the California Events Coalition for the most up to date information on laws in the state. It is a great resource to keep up with restrictions and what is going on. It is very dependent on the company you are contacting. Because these days, every company has a different policy. Look for a company that would let you put in a rental order and hold items, known that there might be a reduction, and that they have a policy that helps address this exact conundrum. Some rental companies might have a minimum, but that is okay! When it comes to transportation and shuttles, look into companies that have a large fleet. It is more likely they have more flexibility that way. It would be more likely that they could increase if it was needed! You can get a little more creative with shuttles as needed too. Question #2: Uneven Wedding Party I have a question I would like to ask about compromising on bridal parties. What to do if your significant other is very friendly and fun and has a TON of friends, where the other person has a smaller number of more intimate relationships. One person thinks it would be beautiful to just have one person each making up bridal party and standing with us when we say vows. That way expenses on guests are kept down since 5+ girls won’t have to buy dress’s, shoes, makeup, hair, etc. and the guys won’t have to all rent the same tux, shoes, etc. However, the other partner feels they want to recognize their friends with a 10+ person groomsmen party. HELP!! Answer to #2: So - uneven wedding parties are totally fine and very 'normal'. I encourage you to do whatever makes you both happy - that may require a compromise. I think you can honor your besties in other ways, besides the full wedding party experience. Having one 'super-bff' up at the altar for each of you is one way to do that - keep it simple, and each of you get a right-hand-man, so to speak. If you have a bunch of friends that you want to include beyond that one person - round them up, refer to them as your tribe, or your VIPs, and ask them to participate in other ways. Invite them to get ready together with you on the wedding day - you don't have to pay for much (beyond donuts and mimosas if you're into that) and it's easy and fun. Also - people can do readings during the ceremony, greet guests, man a guestbook station, be a part of special formal photos, give toasts, help set up, help with DIY before the wedding, celebrate along the way with you... There is no rule that says you need a big wedding party to have a big bachelor party, for example. Don't worry about the way an uneven party looks at the altar - if you only have one 'maid and your partner has 10, I suggest grouping everyone together. Or on one side, or seated instead of standing after they process in for the ceremony. All of the group shots and photos can just be everyone. Question #3: Invitations / Etiquette - Covid My fiancé and I are planning a May 2021 wedding and I am preparing invitations for our big day! Our church ceremony has limits on people due to social distancing requirements, so not all of our guest list can be invited. Currently, it will be only immediate family, the wedding party, and their significant others (plus photographers/videographers) at the church ceremony. That being said, I need to develop a message for the main invitation (for the remainder of the guests) that explains it is a small wedding and not everyone can attend it, but they are invited to the reception. We each have parents taking it personally that we can't invite additional people and feel the word "private" will offend people. Do you have any advice on how to word this on an invitation to these reception-only guests? Answer to #3: From White Ink Calligraphy: I would just do invitations for the celebration not to confuse anyone and explain verbally to people why they weren’t invited to the ceremony, because nothing written isn’t going to be offensive looking, I think. Question #4: Masks I have a question regarding providing masks for guests at my upcoming wedding in July. I bought disposable masks and want to place them at a table we have at the entry of our home, but I don’t know what’s the best and safest way to present them. Do I use a glass box where people can open it and grab one, put them on a fancy serving tray? Should I individually wrap them in a plastic bag? Answer to #4: I think, as a guest, knowing that the masks are sanitary and individually wrapped is key. So display them any way you want, but I do think they should be individually wrapped. You can maybe get those plastic sheaths, the kind people put big cookies in. If you are going to have kids, they sell individually wrapped kids masks on sites like amazon. Question #5: Ooh hoo! Racist Cousins Invited to the Wedding My fiancé and I are in the early process of planning our wedding (we are currently working with our parents on the guest list). I am asian (as is half of my family) and I am having a gay latino man in my wedding party, I also have a lot of LGBTQ+ friends as do my parents. His family is... less diverse. They were all raised strict Catholic and while his immediate family (parents, brother & sister in law) are all great, his extended family tends to be homophobic and racist (echoing the former president on Facebook with uses of "China Virus" & "Kung Flu" & then arguing it's not offensive). While it is not my job to educate them on how saying things like that are actually racist and we don't have to interact with them much in our every day lives - I don't want any of them to affect my wedding day or make my family and guests feel uncomfortable. We are from and getting married in Oregon and his extended family is all in Michigan or Florida, and while I wish I could rely on distance as a deterrent, his brother got married a few years ago and his whole family flew out here. My question is, since we have to assume SOME of the "problem" people will attend our wedding, how do we go about organizing the seating chart to minimize potential conflict? Any other tips not related to the seating chart would be great too! Answer to #5: How many guests are you going to have? I think that racist homophobic people tend to keep their mouths shut when they are obviously outnumbered and not on 'home turf'. Who knows...maybe a cousin will be line dancing with your gay latino bridesman by the end of the reception. I know in my family, we have some ass-backwards cousins and uncles that have actually opened their minds (a bit) since getting to know my brother and his partner at family events. My brother def doesn't go out of his way to educate anyone...he is who he is, and for a lot of them, he is the ONLY gay person in their life (that they know of, of course). I'm not saying it's going to be all hand-holding and epiphanies at your wedding, but an event celebrating two people and LOVE can sometimes bring out the best in people. So - keep a little hope alive too! Be deliberate about the seating. I don't suggest you keep the families strictly separated physically at tables on different sides of the space, because that can be more isolating and awkward, but I think it's important to think about how guests will feel most comfortable at the wedding. Maybe try and make sure that any known 'toxic' people are sort of spaced out throughout the room, and are surrounded by inherent diversity. A security guard for the night is not a terrible idea....this is another vendor-for-hire. He can sort of man the parking lot or outside of the venue and just be there IF there is an issue and someone needs to be discreetly escorted out. The cost will be worth your peace of mind. And you don't want to assign a VIP to have to 'take out the rubbish' so to speak, if necessary. (And I don't think it will be.) Follow-Up From #5 Listener: Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response. We're planning on having about 120 guests so I'm hopeful that alone will be enough to make people keep their mouths shut since they're coming to "liberal Oregon" anyway haha. I love your point that spreading the toxic people around may be better than siloing them in one big group because it will immerse them in the diversity and it will hopefully prevent any bad behavior or intolerance that does occur from spreading too easily. I will definitely look into the cost for a security guard because, like you said, it might be worth it for the peace of mind! Links We Referenced https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/ onetruelovevintage.com (https://www.onetruelovevintage.com/) californiaeventscoalition.com (https://www.californiaeventscoalition.com/) abbeyrentssf.com (https://www.abbeyrentssf.com/) zola.com/bigwedding (https://welcome.zola.com/allproducts_alldevices_50/?pkey=bigweddingpod&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=bigwedding&) (Use Promo: SAVE50) manlybands.com/bigwedding (https://manlybands.com/?utm_content=bigwedding&utm_source=veritone&utm_medium=podcast&utm_term=january&utm_campaign=podcast) (21% off + free silicone ring) The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/)

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We are so happy to have had Mr. David Tutera as our guest this week. With 35 years, planning events, David is sharing a plethora of valuable tips and fun stories. Not only is this a great interview, but 5 lucky listeners, planning their own weddings were able to ask David their own questions. So much amazingness happening on this one! David Tutera, entertaining expert, event designer, motivational speaker, TV personality, fashion designer, lifestyle brand and author, is hailed as an artistic visionary whose ability, uniquely creative talents and passion for designing has made him a tremendous success in the event and lifestyle arena. David's specialty is creating one of a kind celebrations that truly represent the honoree(s). The David Tutera brand is so much more than just a single person. The brand has product lines in fashion, crafting, jewelry, candles, invitations and has expanded to a global Mentorship Program. David has also been written into novels, commercials, scripted TV shows, and movies as a pop culture icon. David whole heartily believes that every voice is worthy of being heard. We all must lead with positivity, and be there for one another. The greatness in life is the ability to be fully present. Look around and make sure others are protected. If we can each make one person smile a day...together we can change the world. Big Takeaways When it comes to relating to your clients, as a planner, it makes sense that you can get caught up in all the details. A lot of planners can get disconnected from their clients in this process. It is so important to invest your heart and mind into what the couple is looking for. David believes that he has really been given a unique opportunity to create a special moment and experience that will be remembered on a totally different level than any one element of the wedding. A good planner emotes all of this, and shows that they are there for them. It is so important to LOVE your planner. This relationship is monumental to the process of planning. Some days will be hard, but knowing that your planner loves and cares deeply is crucial. When it comes to the way things have changed over time, there are still a lot of strongholds on hold traditions and ways of being. Openness to what is real, and meaningful to the couple, and to the planner are so much more important to fitting into the image of what a perfect wedding is. David has found the vows to be one of the most important things you want to hear. The nervousness is natural, but you can never do that again. He really encourages breaking through that. Only look at what you can afford to do. You don’t need to go into debt to plan a wedding. David’s top priorities with the budget: 1. Food 2. Music 3. Visuals It’s about not spending money you don’t have! Work within your own reality. A perfectly awesome wedding can be created with your budget. The wedding is about the couple! The David Tutera Experience is for Event Business Professionals and Entrepreneurs. It is three days of education and events that will connect, enlighten, and ignite success for all to celebrate. Live Zoom Audence Questions For David: Emily: What would you suggest to incorporate Disney into our wedding without making it too obvious? David’s Answer: You have to have the magic, down to the sparkles and the feelings. Colors are significantly important. Red and black can look a little Halloween-y or goth-y. Adding a little sparkle into the bouquets can really make it all pop out. Grays with your chosen black will look really great. You don’t want the decor to be too dark. Lindsey: Do you have any tips, stories, or advice for incorporating local artists and entertainers into your wedding? David’s Answer: Think about bringing in artists that could bring in art that would be installed around the space. Almost like a gallery exhibition. You can take a well-known or existing piece of art and ask the florist to re-create the pieces with flowers. See if the artist will do an exhibition for you at your wedding. Aubrey: How can I make the experience personal and fun for all our guests in a slightly larger wedding (~185 guests)? David’s Answer: No matter the guest count, the most important thing is that you and your partner are always side by side. Mingle with family and friends together. Make sure you are showing yourself as a couple, and find that flow together. Connect your guests to each other in the way a good host would do. Margo: How can you add some personality into the design of the wedding elegantly without being too literal? David’s Answer: Find things you both love and think about how to add that into the design. For instance, you love art, reflect that in the table placements. He loves food, let him create unique and fun choices for the meals. And that can begin to tell the story of the two of you together at the same table. Megan: What do you want the bride and groom to consider during the wedding planning process to avoid burn out? What is the most important thing to focus on? David’s Answer: Remain focused on each other. Make sure the conversations you are having with your planner are communicated. Don’t make swift changes on your own. Consider each other constantly. Do not plan your wedding EVERY SINGLE DAY. Allow room to breathe and rest. Allow time for it not to be priority. Get excited again. It’s very much about mindset! With a good planner that you have a great relationship with, hopefully the week or two prior should allow you live you life without planning the wedding. You should be able to relax and act as if you were not in the middle of the process. Then when the wedding happens, it feels like a dream. Day-of coordination is not helpful! This will create more drama and waste energy. If you cannot afford a planner, try to have a month-of coordinator. It will save you so much stress. Links We Referenced davidtutera.com (https://davidtutera.com/) The David Tutera Experience (https://davidtutera.com/the-david-tutera-experience/) The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/) This episode's Sponsor: The Bach App (https://www.thebach.com/) Quotes “Your guests, that are the audience watching you get married, will find something new about you as a couple, as human beings.” - David “It’s really a very special opportunity when a planner and a couple are truly connected.” - David “You can have $100,000 budget and you can still have a horrible wedding... It is about the people that are there, and it all trickles down from the energy of the couple.” - David The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Susan's Travel Services (https://susanstravelservices.com/ready-to-book/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: David Tutera.

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We are celbrating! And as a result, we are flipping the script. Mark ALLEN Groleau of Unboring Officiant interviews us, Michelle and Christy, as we talk about how we met, what brought us together, and all about the interactive new Wedding Planning Master Class we've created for you. It’s HERE! That’s right, after a full year of blood, sweat and tears, The Big Wedding Planning Master Class is LIVE! We have put our "all" into this digital course and we are sharing why THIS DIGITAL COURSE IS GOING TO CHANGE YOUR WEDDING PLANNING LIFE AND THE WEDDING PLANNING INDUSTRY! Big Takeaways When putting together the idea of both the podcast, and The Big Wedding Planning Master Class, Michelle and Christy realized there was a need for more accessible information about how to plan a wedding. We have interacted with thousands of listners, planning their weddings, who do not have the luxury of hiring a wedding planner. So much of wedding planning is administrative work, the class felt like a natural extension to the free content we are already giving with the podcast. Chapter 1: Foundation, priorities, budget, guest list, planning time line, design Chapter 2: Hiring your team, finding your venue(s), transportation, hotel room blocks, the Mid-planning checklist Chapter 3: EVERYTHING included in Month-of coordination. Also a great asset to those couples who have a Coordinator included with their venue! We had a live audiene on this recording and here are there questions & our answers: What’s the best package for me, if I already have all my vendors, but I want to organize myself? - Chapter 3 is where to focus! There are three chapters all together. Does this Master Class address pandemic weddings or the need to quickly pivot weddings? - We mention the pandemic here and there. But there is nothing specifically aimed at that. It is structured to help you feel in control in case you need to pivot or make changes quickly. Once you have purchased the class, we are available through the comments section in case you need that resource later on. What can we expect when we get the package? - It is majority instructional. The videos are lecture style, and then we use a screen share to show how to use the templates where you can follow along. Links We Referenced www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/) Unboring Wedding Academy (https://www.unboringweddingacademy.com/bigwedding/) Fireside (https://fireside.fm/) Quotes “We’re all here because of this crazy idea.” - Mark, in reference to the podcast “Maybe we can help people. And maybe we could get them to tell us what they want to hear.” - Michelle “I’ll tell you, as a wedding planner, I am going to do just as much work for a small guest count as I would with a guest count of 300... And that’s because the basic fundamentals, the foundation of creating your wedding are all the same.” - Michelle The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Mark Allen Groleau.

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Jenny married Robin on March 17, 2018. Listen as Jenny tells Christy & Michelle all about it. From their fun & crazy first date to a $100K wedding that they loved so much and do not regret a penny spent. Jenny Block began her career in words teaching college English in Virginia. Before too long, she found herself writing articles and books about everything from art to rock climbing to finding love. After that came radio and television appearances, as well as speaking engagements at universities, at museums, and even on cruise ships. She has traveled the world and has had the pleasure of meeting and working with all kinds of people from all kinds of places doing all kinds of things. That’s when she discovered her magic-bringing out That Unicorn in all of us. Now, Jenny spends her time and her words living her truth and sharing her shine on a lake in Nowhere, Texas with her wife Robin and her two dogs: Chihuahua-terrier Walter and Chihuahua-Dachshund Aurora. Big Takeaways * Having a designer was one of Jenny’s favorite choices. It helped with tie breaking and helping pull the elements together to make a beautiful wedding. * There are brokers that re-sell gowns that rich folks buy and never pick up. Jenny was able to get a $15,000 dress for $4,000. yourdreamdress.com is where she purchased! * Jenny’s biggest regret was not getting a videographer. She put all her focus on a photographer and ultimately, the cost stopped her from getting the videographer. * Because of the nature of a lesbian wedding, there was more focus on Jenny wearing the gown. This made Robin feel less important on that day. It can be crucial to make sure there is equity focused on the couple. Equal pictures of both people, etc. * Do less than what you can afford. Think about what is the most important parts of the day, and recognize which parts don’t matter at all. For Jenny, she just wanted to be able to wear a beautiful gown, she didn’t really care where the wedding happening. Links We Referenced Be That Unicorn (https://bethatunicorn.com/) Where Jenny bought her SUPER DISCOUNTED DESIGNER GOWN. Your Dream Dress (https://www.yourdreamdress.com/) The travel company for Lesbians & LGBTQ+ Women Olivia.com (https://olivia.com/) The Bach App (https://www.thebach.com/bach-app?shortlink=5df73a27&pid=The%20Big%20Wedding%20Planning%20Podcast&c=The%20Big%20Wedding%20Planning%20Podcast) Quotes “We wanted people to enjoy the party.” - Jenny “The wedding went so fast, I wanted to see... just moments that I didn’t get to see.” - Jenny “I feel like I could have attended my wedding if I had a video.” - Jenny This episode is sponsored by THE BACH APP (https://www.thebach.com/bach-app?shortlink=5df73a27&pid=The%20Big%20Wedding%20Planning%20Podcast&c=The%20Big%20Wedding%20Planning%20Podcast) Bachelorette & Bachelor party planning made easy with this awesome free app! Invite your party guests, launch polls with your group, plan your itinerary. And most importantly, BACH has all the best local experiences perfect for these parties bookable right in the app Code: BIGWEDDING The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Jenny Block.

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If you and your partner were able to take a personality type indicator test, you would learn a lot about each. You would also, approach wedding planning differently. Actually, you would likely approach your relationship differently. Christy & Michelle took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator assessment and were quite surprised by some of the results given to them by the Couple's Coach, Chelsea Winer. Chelsea Winer, soon to be Chelsea Lombrozo, is a trained leadership and communication expert that elevates couples from good to great. Guided by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator personality assessment, Chelsea coaches couples to help ease the stress of wedding planning and to better communicate with each other. Her mission is to unite couples by providing the perfect blend of tangible takeaways plus reflective resources to make a lasting impact on your relationship. Consider Chelsea your personal couples coach! Big Takeaways * No matter your personality type, come from a place of patience and understanding. There is no wrong combination of types, but respect is what ultimately works. * When you are taking the assessment, think of you in every aspect of your life. And pick answers based off of what comes most naturally to you. * Pre-martial coaching is a wonderful way to understand how to work the best way possible with your partner. * With MBTI, it is important that the words and types have their own meanings and weight behind them. Someone like Chelsea can be very important to help you fully understand because she has studied and become certified in this field. * There is no magic combo that makes the best couple. The most important thing is to learn how to communicate with each other. Know how to compromise, listen, and understand each other. * Without understanding each other’s minds and where all the choices are coming from, or at least allowing room for curiosity and exploration, you may find certain blocks and disagreements with your partner. But the good thing is knowledge is power. And someone like Chelsea, and something like the MBTI can really help you understand each other. Links We Referenced ChelseaCoachesYou.com (https://www.chelseacoachesyou.com/) (Use Code: BIGWEDDING for 15% off services) Chelsea on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/chelsea_winer/) Quotes “Weddings are the first of many things you have to do as a couple.” - Chelsea “Sometimes we can even surprise ourselves, or balance ourselves [...], sometimes being with someone who is different from us can be really helpful.” - Chelsea “The end result is you are going to get married. Let’s enjoy the process along the way.” - Chelsea The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Chelsea Winer.

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On the last Wednesday of every month, we answer wedding planning questions from our listeners. This month, you will hear voicemails of two listeners and 2 emails. From Groomsmen that have been at battle for 12 years to a poem a listener is offering gifting you to use to tell all of your friends that although you've chosen not to have a wedding party, they are still very important to you and included in the wedding. Listen and learn peeps! A very special thank you to all of our new and existing Patreon members. We could not do this podcast without your support. We appreciate you all!! The Big Wedding Planning Master Class is coming next month! Please sign up if you are interested in this digital course that teaches you how to plan your wedding, using our decades of experience. We're not just showing you the fun, designy-type stuff. We are giving you ALL of our tools complete with tutorial videos on how to do it all! Click here (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/home-masterclass) to get more info and special offers. A voicemail from a listener who did not leave her name, but left a very special gift This listener just has too many friends to choose a wedding party/bridesmaids. She wants all 16 friends and 3 sisters to be Included in a special way. She sent everybody a poem she wrote for them expressing the situation and how important they all are to her. She invited them all to Officially be part of "my I do crew” and sent a checklist / sign up sheet of options of things they can do to participate in the planning and wedding day. This very generous listener wanted to share this with all other listeners, and says to please feel free to use her idea and poem for free! Thank you and please write to us to le us know who you are! Email Question #1: Guest Book Ideas! I have so many questions for you so I am sure this is not the only email that you will be getting from me, but I have a question about my guestbook. I just listened to your quick focus back in 2017 about the guestbook, but I need your opinion. We have an idea of ordering a vinyl record of the song that we dance our first dance to. We thought it would be cool to have our guests sign the record and have it framed and up in our future home. With that being said, i’m sure we won’t be able to read every person’s signature. Do we need a formal guest book as well as the vinyl record? We will have our guests addresses if we need them (from the invites) and we will know who ends up attending the wedding, right? Answer to question #1: I LOVE the record idea! It's an awesome way to incorporate your wedding into a design element in your home that truly means something you to. Well done. I do think you should do both. Personally, at my wedding, I got a really nice hardcover book with blank large pages in it and had it out at my wedding and now, when I go through it every few years, I sometimes tear up reading things from family that has since passed away. I only wish I would have put some sort of signage that said something to the effect of "write whatever is in your heart" because some people only signed their name. An example, my grandmother who was such a HUGE influence in my life as a child. I would have loved to have seen what she would have written to me on my wedding day (The good thing is I've saved a lot of the greeting cards she's written to me over the years). So, yes do the record FOR SURE, but also have a simple book with blank pages and lots of pens and some sort of signage so they know they can take their time and write something special. Also, have that book out during cocktail reception as well as wherever dancing will take place so there are several hours of opportunity for your guests to write in it. Oh, and yes, you will have everyone's addresses already in your guest list spreadsheet, so don't worry about getting addresses. Voicemail Question #2: My fiance does'nt know how to handle his 2 Best Men who have been in a 12 year fight. The wedding is in October 2021. He only asked 1 of his 2 friends so far, because they’ve had a rift for the past 12 years. He wants both of them to be part of his wedding. She wants to say something and jump in, but her fiancé wants to handle it on his own, but hasn't done it yet. What should she do? Answer to question #2: It’s hard to know the depth of this situation. But it sounds like your fiancé does not want you to get involved, as much as we wish he would let you. How well do you know these men? If not well, it might actually be nice to have you step in as a moderator, or a third party that maybe doesn’t have any real connection to the emotional part of this. This could the impetus to healing friendships. Like with parents, it might be important to say hey we’re adults this is important to your fiancé, can you show up to this day in a good way? Consider all the elements. Be careful. And really consider your fiancé’s ultimate wishes. Email Question #3: Should we have a mock, 2nd ceremony? My fiancé and I are planning our July 2021 wedding. Our ceremony will be held at a chapel and our reception will be held at an "alumni center". Both are through a local university. We have a slight problem....Our reception is allowing 50 guests, but the chapel is only allowing 40 people total inside, which includes our vendors and 2 of their staff members. We are looking at only being able to invite 32-34 people to the ceremony. We are not willing to move our ceremony since the chapel was the reason why we are having the wedding in the city that we are. We would really love to do a quick second ceremony (10 min tops) for everyone, so those who didn't get to go to our actual ceremony feel included in the day. It would be after cocktail hour and before dinner. We just aren't sure what we should say or do for our second ceremony. We will be walking in together to signify our new marriage. No family or wedding party will be walking in. Do we do traditional vows and exchange rings again? or do something completely different? We just don't know where to start. My brother-in-law will be the "officiant/speaker" for this second ceremony. Maybe we just need a bottle of wine to spark some creativity, lol, but we are both feeling stuck. Answer to question #3: Many of my clients have purposely had a smaller guest count for their ceremony and a larger guest count for the reception. I know this is not what you had originally planned, but it's not an unordinary situation. Having a quickie 2nd ceremony is doable, but I wonder if it's really necessary? I know your intention behind it is not to let anyone feel left out, and that is very thoughtful of you, but what if you just asked your immediate family and wedding party to be at the ceremony and then everyone else to be at the reception without doing the 2nd ceremony? What you could do is ask your videographer, or photographer if they are able to get some images for you from the ceremony to show in a slide show at the reception? It's something you will likely need to pay additional for, but it might be worth it. If you do decide to have the 2nd ceremony, I like the idea of the two of you walking in together and sort of renewing those vows. Perhaps you each write something special just for the 2nd ceremony, and that way it's personalized and a bit of a surprise to each other. Maybe include your guests in the 2nd ceremony by having your BIL asking the guests if they will support this marriage, be there for the two of you when you need them, etc... Maybe your BIL actually begins the 2nd ceremony by saying "we have gathered here today to celebrate this brand new marriage..." The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/)

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You have been asking for an episode like this for a while and we finally did it! This is EVERYTHING you need to know when going wedding dress shopping. Who to bring, who NOT to bring. How to choose a boutique. What to expect from a sales person at the boutique and and how everyone’s experience is deeply personal and unique. Our guest Maya Holihan has been a wedding dress expert since 2004. Maya Holihan has spent nearly the entirety of her 25-year career in the luxury goods industry, which began with Gianni Versace and then Vera Wang, before purchasing her first bridal shop in 2004. Prior to founding EWedded (https://ewedded.com/) she was the proprietor of multiple bridal businesses. She’s the author of a new book for brides-to-be titled Happily Altered After and hosts a podcast with the same name and converses with industry experts about wedding trends and the nuances of the planning process. Big Takeaways * Don’t try on dresses until you are ready to buy a dress! You might fall in love, so be ready to spend the money when you go in. * Be honest with yourself. Understand what environment will make the best experience for you. Do the research about budget, size range, etc. Check out the website of each store. Call the store. * Great service at a bridal salon should absolutely include preparation, listening, and transparency. * When it comes to dress sizes, the salon is buying sizes in the most common sizes (8-16) for trying on. They are not trying to discriminate. This is yet another reason why shopping somewhere with caring, knowledgable staff is important. They can and want to work with you to make an incredible experience. Make sure that alterations are part of your budget and planning time. * If you have particular gowns made by a designer you want to try on, call and see if the store can get them in for you to try on. * The more people you bring, the less the shopping experience is about you. Bring the people that you love and know will give you the best advice. Toxicity doesn’t disappear just because you are getting married. Maya says 4 is the ABSOLUTE max, but ultimately believes a bride should go by herself in the first meeting/try-on. * Extend yourself and others grace. Be flexible with your ultimate goal in mind. Links We Referenced The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/home-masterclass) White Ink Calligraphy (https://www.whiteinkcalligraphy.com/) ewedded.com (https://ewedded.com/) Happily Altered After on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/happily_altered_after/) Happily Altered After on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/happilyalteredafter) Quotes “We’re there to advocate for you.” - Maya “Stand firm and don’t appease people.” - Maya “You have the power... You have license to take it back at any time.” - Maya The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Susan's Travel Services (https://susanstravelservices.com/ready-to-book/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Maya Holihan.

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Jaz and Rodney are back! They originally joined us to talk about "Wedding Planning While Black in Episode #204 (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/episodes/auomwzz90s4j5gshgevs66wa9ek65j) and today they share the retrospective of their magical wedding that took place in October 2020. After a constantly changing and shifting planning process, they finally wed in Palm Springs with their family. Making a much smaller and much more intimate day for celebrating and as you will hear, it was magical! Big Takeaways - The planner was an ABSOLUTE must-have. Having them their helped everything feel so much smoother and relaxing. - When it came to planning, they prioritized what was most important for them. In the end, with just their family present, they were able to use their full budget to make an even more fabulous day. - Speak up! Try it. It might not work every time, but it is worth it. It’s better to know if it’s time to step away from a vendor than to drag it out because of fear to speak up. - Making sure people feel comfortable makes all the difference. Links We Referenced The Big Wedding Planning Master Class! (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/home-masterclass) Quotes “Let’s just do this the way that we originally wanted.” - Jaz “It felt so much more special and beautiful and everyone was just so proud to be there.” - Jaz “Even with music, [...] we were like we want this to feel like a black love story.” - Jaz “Look at how valuable it is to have some diversity in the way you think about things.” - Rodney The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Susan's Travel Services (https://susanstravelservices.com/ready-to-book/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/)

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What if your wedding was designed using a holistic approach focused on people and not things? How could you make sure that everyone at your wedding will feel like their presence is an integral part of the celebration? Listen in as Michelle interview's Experiential Designer, Julie Comfort, and learn how to do all this and more. As a destination wedding photographer for ten years, Julie Comfort attended over 250 weddings in 15 countries across 5 continents, covering a staggering number of cultures, traditions, and venues, yet often feeling a huge missed potential for more personalization and connection. Ready for a new adventure, she moved to Berlin in 2015 and studied experience design at Kaospilot, where she immediately recognized that a holistic design approach focused on people not things was the missing ingredient for truly meaningful and magical weddings. Julie founded Comfort Studio, an experience design consultancy dedicated to designing celebrations with intention, heart, and wild creativity. Julie designs weddings that elicit the desired emotion in your guests. Joy, happiness, peace, etc. This helps create weddings that are an entire experience. Big Takeaways * Think about how you want people to feel. Start with how you DON’T want them to feel and work from there. * If you don’t want your guests to feel awkward at a table of strangers, have a table host for each table! Someone assigned to welcome people to the table, pour wine, make introductions, etc. Think of which of your friends, at each table, that would be great at doing this and reach out to them before hand. Tell them why you chose them. * People love to help in small and big ways. Having come from the world from destination weddings, Julie really recommends including the guests in meaningful ways. When they just feel like an audience, the wedding is less of an experience and more of a show, they won’t feel as important to the big day. * In the future, it will be even more important to design around the people, and less on the spectacle of the big day. Think about a dinner party and how people are engaged. Connection is key. Links We Referenced comfortstudio.com (https://www.comfortstudio.com/) - Use code: BIGWEDDING for a 20% discount 15toasts.com (http://15toasts.com/) instagram.com/comfortstudioberlin Quotes “Connection doesn’t happen automatically, you have to help people connect.” - Julie “One of the weird paradoxes about weddings is that the couple, that’s getting married, they’re both the hosts of the event and the guest of honor.” - Julie "I think it’s really important that we don’t just treat our guests like an audience. [...] How can we insure that everyone there feels like their presence is integral to what is happening?” - Julie “It’s okay to have moments where nothing much is happening.[...] Then what happens after the boring moment will feel more exciting.” - Julie The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Susan's Travel Services (https://susanstravelservices.com/ready-to-book/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Julie Comfort.

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On the last Wednesday of every month, we answer wedding planning questions from our listeners. These are always chock full of information that EVERYONE can benefit from. We have so much fun and we love our listeners for reaching out and interacting with us! ANNOUNCEMENT! We are getting ready to release The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/home-masterclass) very soon. For more info or to be among the first to know, please sign up here (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/home-masterclass). Question #1 (Voicemail) How can I involve my fiancé’s family, that lives in Texas, in the wedding planning and events? Answer #1 We are big fans of the video chat. Especially in the pandemic, it is an increasingly common way to bring the person along with you. Don’t overthink it. You can always pick up the phone and call, the small gestures like that really make a difference. You do not need to involve them in everything. But there are special moments and choices you can include them in. If you want them to participate in the ceremony, you can have one of the read something. They can share generations old wedding photos etc. Question #2 My fiancé and I live in NYC and are getting married in South Florida in the end of February 2022. We are planning on a smaller wedding of between 75-85 people. I am a planner by nature and we have already hired all of our major vendors (venue, caterer, photographer, florist/ designer, videographer, DJ, photo booth). When is the appropriate time to either reach out to my designer (or any vendor for that matter) or expect her to reach out to me to discuss design ideas or changes? Would it be too much to ask her to do a walk through of the venue with us or meet with me at her showroom if we are down there in May, which is still 10 months out from our wedding? Answer #2 If you don't have a Pinterest profile already, get that going. Create a board that is just for final ideas and let that be something that you change over time. Perhaps keep a log or journal, either handwritten or in the notes app on your phone where you input your ideas and/or revisions. I would say that finalizing the design with your florist can come in the last 45 days of the wedding. That's a pretty safe time to start back up that conversation (provided there aren't any huge props that she needs to build for you or purchase that might be on back order). Also, shoot her an email and ask her what her timeline is for finalizing design details. Ask her when she will want to start knowing about that. Explain to her, just as you did to me, that you don't want to inundate her with all the thoughts and details that are running through your head, but that you want to be ready when she is. I'm sure she will appreciate that. Question #3 is not a question, but our listener Sarah wanted to share that she has grown to love her wedding dress more and more. Even though she did not cry or get emotional on the day she bought it. Question #4 We plan to get married in October 2022. I’m trying to figure out what I want and can afford first. And we’re going to start looking at venues this month. I’m not a huge fan of traditional weddings, or the traditions that go along with them, but I’m concerned about ruffling feathers by not having a bridal party. I have a few people who I don’t want to choose between for MOH and I don’t want my future sister-in-law in my wedding and I know if I had a bridal party and excluded her I’d have lots of blowback. Also none of the guys that my fiancé would want as groomsmen would be able to afford the tux rentals so we’d have to foot that bill. I think by foregoing the bridal party entirely all of us will save money and hurt feelings, especially because we still intend to have these people be involved throughout the wedding in other ways and with the Bridal shower and bachelor/bachelorette parties. Does this seem reasonable? The first time I saw a wedding without a bridal party I couldn’t get it out of my head, it made too much sense to me. Also because I want to skip the bridal party I don’t see the need to have an elaborate rehearsal dinner. Both of our families are not well off, but I feel like my MIL believes in the traditional wedding cost breakdown because shortly after our engagement she mentioned the rehearsal dinner would be covered by them. I’d much prefer she handle some other cost because our rehearsal is just going to be our parents, us, the officiant, and maybe 1-2 others (haven’t decided if I want a flower man or whatever). I need help here. Answer #4 Don’t have a wedding party if you don’t want one. It is your wedding and your reasons are solid! Your guiding light for your wedding should be, “what do we want, in terms of celebrating our marriage?” You’re going to ruffle feathers either way. Budgets run the gamut. Talk to your partner, and check in. Don’t drop hints. Just have a discussion and between the two of you, say to your future MIL that you are working the budget for the wedding and express the curiosity if they are planning to contribute more, no pressure on her. Money is difficult to talk about. Go in with tenderness. Links We Referenced: The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/home-masterclass) The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Susan's Travel Services (https://susanstravelservices.com/ready-to-book/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/)

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Chaya and Morgan join today to talk about how the ‘biggest, queerest wedding of the year’ surprised even the two brides. Theirs was a 2020, wedding that happened during the Pandemic which as you can guess turned into something totally different than what was planned. Like way different! Like 10,0000 people watching the live stream on Facebook, kind of different! Despite initially thinking they wanted a small, intimate backyard wedding, they were still struck by the effects of COVID, requiring them to rethink the whole day. Chaya and Morgan live streamed their wedding to over 10k people. Using the internet’s wide resources of queer, BIPOC, they were able to pull off a beautiful day. The New York Times wrote an article about their wedding and describe's Chaya's career as follows: "Ms. Milchtein, 25, has an eclectic career as a style influencer, writer and automotive educator. Her website and blog is called Mechanic Shop Femme, where she also writes about plus-size fashion.” Chaya also teaches online classes for car maintenance, how to buy - best way to insure - how to not get scammed. She's an automotive educator, writer and speaker - with an empowerment platform. Big Takeaways * If you are doing a live stream (YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitch, etc) of any kind, make sure you get the rights to use the music, or they will cut off your feed! * Make sure there is proper wifi in the exact location you are. Test it as far in advance as you can! * You can choose which parts of your wedding are important to you! Wear what you want to wear, do what brings you joy. Links We Referenced mechanicshopfemme.com (https://mechanicshopfemme.com/) Chaya on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/mechanicshopfemme/) The New York Times Article (https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/25/fashion/weddings/when-a-few-thousand-strangers-rsvp.html%20huffpost.com/entry/micro-wedding-covid-pandemic-married_n_5f6de68fc5b6cdc24c17f69c%20instagram.com/mechanicshopfemme) Natural Nerd Designs (https://www.naturalnerddesigns.com/) Alma (https://www.heyalma.com/) Quotes "But then this Pandemic happened and anybody can get sick and what happens if you go to the hospital? All of the sudden those spousal rights become incredibly important, especially in a queer relationship. " -Chaya "Chaya being who she is, went to the internet and invited everyone and a lot of people came" - Morgan “Weddings happen late, there are things that go wrong in everybody’s wedding. But if you take the time to focus on those things, you’re missing the moments.” - Chaya The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Susan's Travel Services (https://susanstravelservices.com/ready-to-book/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Special Guests: Chaya Milchtein and Morgan (Jodyann Morgan).

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Alright, listen up people! If you are not taking care of yourself, you are NOT going to successfully be able to take care of anything or anyone else in your life. Michelle has known Coach Brien Shamp for a few years now and believes wholeheartedly in his message and mission. We are thrilled to bring this episode to you NOW especially when current events are draining the life out of so many of us. Listen in, learn, implement, and thank us later. ;) Coach Brien Shamp (https://brienshamp.com/) began personal fitness training back in 1991 at the age of 18. He now develops weekly programs for over 1,000 clients and students of all ages (up to 105 years old) and abilities. Brien has been the Strength & Conditioning Specialist for several colleges in the Bay area: College of San Mateo (CSM), University of Notre Dame, Santa Clara University and Menlo College. For six years Brien was an Adapted Physical Education Instructor at Foothill College, where he taught elderly and mentally disabled students to enhance their overall functional capacity through exercise in various settings. Brien is recognized as a Master Trainer by IDEA, and has written hundreds of articles on various health & fitness related topics Big Takeaways Stress reduction is everything. Exercise alone does not have anything to do with losing weight. The 7 Daily Primal Needs 1. Consciously breathe - Slow, deep, rhythmic core breathing 2. Hydrate - Drink 1/2 your body weight in ounces of water every day - minimum 3. Sleep - quality and quantity. 7-9 hours per night (sleep will help balance your hormones!) 4. Eat - Hight quality foods. Plan & Prepare. Chew. Know your body. 5. Love - Connect with those that fill you up. Server others. Live from the heart, not the mind. 6. Growth - Constant and never-ending improvement and personal development. Get a coach to help you! 7. Movement - 30 minutes per day, mimiimum! When you work out, you ask more of your physiology. Be aware of your posture too. With your in-home/virtual workouts, create a nice environment for yourself. Find joy in your workout space! Brien also encourages his trainees to use a heart rate monitor. Links We Referenced Brienshamp.com (https://brienshamp.com/) Brien is offering discounts to our listenters! Be sure to mention you heard about him on The Big Wedding Planning Podcast when inquiring. $50 off the 21 day program = $300 (normally $350) $30 a week discount off of the 12 week program = $69 a week (normally $99 a week) Quotes “So many symptoms and ailments we have are because of dehydration.” - Brien “It’s very, very important to have constant and never-ending improvement.” - Brien The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Susan's Travel Services (https://susanstravelservices.com/ready-to-book/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Brien Shamp.

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Lawrence and Michael, founders of BlackGayWeddings.com, are pillars in the wedding community when it comes to showcasing previously unseen examples of love and marriage. They join us today to share their own wedding, tips for your big day, and all about Black Gay Weddings. As CEO of Broughton Media Group LLC, Lawrence has over 35 years of graphic design, web design and video production experience. A Howard University Graduate and has a Masters in Human Resources, a Masters in Public Administration and a Masters in Digital Journalism. His creative vision is the driving force behind all BGW initiatives. Michael McCulley Broughton is co-founder of Black Gay Weddings and Broughton Media Group LLC. Michael is a highly sought after florist, an event planner and a nationally licensed Mortician and Funeral Director. He also leads the Social Media Team at BGW. Big Takeaways The wedding industry is still behind on representing a broad audience. People like Michael and Lawrence are eager to show that they exist! All types of people get married, and yet only a small section of the world is ever represented. Be the change you want to see in the world. When it comes to understanding different couples and weddings than your own, ask questions. Links We Referenced blackgayweddings.com (https://blackgayweddings.com/) Black Gay Weddings on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/blackgayweddings/) Black Gay Weddings on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/c/BlackGayWeddingsTV) Susan's Travel Services (https://susanstravelservices.com/) (Mention TBWPP when inquiring!) BlueNile.com (https://www.bluenile.com/) Quotes “Even in the wedding industry, they cater to a certain market.” - Michael “Not everyone is going to like your platform.” - Michael “In order to be a friend, you have to show yourself friendly.” - Michael The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Alpine Rings (https://alpinerings.com/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Susan's Travel Services (https://susanstravelservices.com/ready-to-book/) Special Guests: Lawrence Broughton and Michael Broughton.

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On the last Wednesday of every month, we answer wedding planning questions from our listeners. This month, the theme is FAMILY DRAMA. OH and 1 of our listeners wrote in with a Wedding Day retrospective too. These are always chock full of information that EVERYONE can benefit from. We have so much fun and we love our listeners for reaching out. Question #1 came in the form of a voicemail: (note: You can always call and leave us a message at 415-723-1625) The wedding was originally slated for March 2021 with a guest list of about 170. They have since rescheduled to 2022, with an earlier elopement. Her fiancé misunderstood, believing that family was coming to the elopement. And now since they are including family, she is unsure how to avoid drama with family that does attend. She is not inviting her father, nor grandma, and doesn’t want them to find out. Answer to #1: This is definitely tricky. Yes you should say no pictures. But Christy is leaning towards not keeping it a total secret from your dad. Let him know you are eloping, and maybe only send pics of you and your partner and the officiant. Secrets get out and that will be ugly down the road. He doesn’t need to know that other family are there. Ultimately, whatever you decide needs to have your reasoning behind it. And your dad will just have to take it. Lying will not help. Question #2: I need advice on quite the dilemma... Background, my fiancé and I have both been married once before and each have three kids. By the time we’d been dating four months we knew we’d want to get married. When Covid hit (knowing we’d likely want to get married next summer and everything would be booked from reschedules) I started investigating pricing and availability of venues and vendors. We booked everything big before we got engaged (venue, florist, rentals, photographer, videographer, etc.) and told no one because we were waiting to be engaged first. In the meantime, his younger sister (she’s 25, he’s 39) was supposed to get married summer 2020 but ended up rescheduling a few times, eventually settling on November 2021 with hopes of an earlier date opening up. I warned my fiancé (bf at the time) that he should warn his family in some way in case the date that opened up for her would conflict with our date. He didn’t. Men! And lo and behold we got an email a couple months ago telling us her new date was August 23 in San Diego - ours is August 19 in Oregon. ... We don’t want to move our wedding date but I also feel it’s important for his family to attend. At the same time, I’m so mad they won’t try to make it work that I really don’t want them there. Thanks to Covid, rescheduling and keeping our vendors is nearly impossible and our date was our 2 year anniversary so I’d be kind of sad to not get married that day. I don’t know what to do. With kids in the picture we aren’t willing to push the wedding out further. Do you have any advice? I’m lost on the right thing to do for us and his family. Answer to #2 As I was reading your email, I was thinking - you know, I'm going to tell her that they should just move their date - for the long term-sake with family, resentments, and rifts...it's a hit you'll just have to take, in order to move forward on a good page with everyone. But then I read your last sentence - "With kids in the picture we aren’t willing to push the wedding out further." And then I thought - well, there's the answer. I respect that boundary. You and your fiancé are adults and you have considered your options, your finances, and your children. You don't want to move the wedding - so don't. His family has made their decision clear to you, and now it's just a matter of you drawing your line and sticking to it. Your wedding will need to be re-imagined a bit...fewer people, it sounds like. Maybe you make it more about you both and your kids, coming together and starting a family - the 8 of you. Maybe you can still go to his sister's wedding. You can't make anyone do anything, or change their minds. But you can move forward with your decision as a united front, confidently, and without stoking the flames of a family fight. (I know it's easier said than done, but you can do your best on that last one. Just don't engage. Don't compete. Don't guilt trip anyone.) Doing what's best for you and your kids is a guiding light that I imagine will serve you well as you navigate a blended-family future. I hope this helps and please keep us posted! You've got this. Question #3: We were engaged with a date, his 2 siblings have gotten engaged  Anyway to my question, I'm sure you guys have gotten so many questions about pushing weddings back due to the pandemic, but I'm torn on pushing our wedding up a year. The planned date currently is November 5, 2022 and we're thinking of moving it to 2021. The biggest reasons are that we've been together for a while and I'm honestly just really excited to marry my best friend. Also, since we've been engaged and shared with family our expected date, two of his siblings have gotten engaged (his sister and her fiancé have been together for two years and have their own weird dramatic/borderline toxic relationship and his brother and his almost fiancee (they aren't even engaged at this point, but have already set a date and picked a venue)). They are planned for spring and summer of 2022. I feel like it'll take away from the specialness of our day if it's the third wedding that year and I don't want to burden people with the cost of another wedding in the same year. I like to think of myself as analytical and logical, but I just don't know what to do here. Below are my pros and cons of moving the date and I would love any input you fabulous ladies have for me. I will be happy marrying him anytime, I just want to maximize the enjoyment of the day for everyone involved. Pros: I'll get to marry my best friend sooner, Friday weddings are cheaper, higher chance of being able to set up the day before, I can save time off for weddings and our Europe trip (my dad has been planning a big European trip for our whole family for his retirement (yeah he's pretty great)), we'll be married for the Europe trip and the other family weddings, and I'll only have to get one passport Cons: may feel like we're changing it for others (my fiancé is pretty set on that. He doesn't want us to change our plans that we had first for other people. I don't feel like it's that big of a deal, but I understand his feelings), world may not be back to normal yet, and people will have to take off Friday and probably Thursday and that's inconvenient I'm sure there's more that I haven't realized yet, but I would love your input on this! Answer #3 I LOVE how your mind works. I LOVE that you've put together the pros and cons list and I also think it's lovely of you to think about the guests. It is a lot to attend 3 weddings in a year for many reasons, I get it. More pros than cons, right? The thought of being Newlyweds in Europe alone is a pretty good one! The con about the Pandemic is THE biggest one. I don't know what size wedding you are planning, nor what state, nor the date in 2021, but that's the biggest obstacle. Are you open to a small wedding in 2021? If so, go for it, but if a large guest count is of a high priority for you, then I would advise waiting until 2022. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but that's the safest route in my opinion. Listener insight: We never wanted a big wedding, 50-ish guest count so that wasn't a huge issue Chicago suburbs on November 2021 Final thoughts/answer: Definitely better that you are wanting a smaller wedding. My advice to go with the 2021 date is to keep the guest list at 50, but also look at those 50 and divide them in half. If the Pandemic is still in full force by November 5th and you need to cut the list, you will already know who to cut. I am feeling optimistic about that time of year based on the talk and plans of rolling out the vaccination, so fingers crossed! Question #4: I don't have a question so much as I am looking for general advice to sooth my nagging right brain. I have always been logical in my life and decision-making, sometimes overly so. I love spreadsheets and budgets and saving money. I always imagined that I would have a small wedding, mostly in order to save money for a home purchase and also because I imagined only having family and close friends there. Fast forward to now when I am actually planning, and it turns out that we have about 170 people that we truly care about that we would love to invite. And I am getting more excited at the thought of a traditional wedding with all of our extended families present. We are going to look at an all-inclusive venue with a higher sticker price than I ever imagined spending on my wedding. I didn't think I would be a giddy wedding girl, but here I am. My wonderful, amazing parents will be paying for virtually all of the wedding. I am their only daughter and they have been saving for my eventual wedding for years (since long before I even met my fiancé). My parents aren't extremely wealthy, but they are great at planning their finances and have always been able to provide the family with what we need and want. They are happy to spend this money on the wedding of my dreams and happy to include extended family in the celebration, and I feel so blessed and don't take this for granted at all. This is my dilemma. Given that my parents always have a financial plan for the future, they raised me to do the same. In the 5 years since I have graduated college, I have diligently been saving for my future home. If my fiancé and I were to buy now, we'd be able to put about 10% down. I know that if I asked my parents to gift us the wedding funds to buy a house, they would be more than happy to give us the cash. This influx of cash would no doubt bring us to 20% on a home which obviously would lessen our monthly mortgage and we could avoid mortgage insurance. Am I thinking too much about the money that my parents are happy to spend on a wedding? I will only get married once, and I want to include everyone we love in our day. But I also want to set us up for long-term financial success. My fiancé wants whatever I want, he would get married in my parents living room or at the courthouse if that's what would make me happy. Honestly, I think he thinks spending tens of thousands of dollars on a party is crazy and he would rather have a house, but he knows that this will be a special day for both of us and will be happy with whatever I decide. I think I am hoping to hear that I should go all out on the wedding because it's our one big day. But I can't help feeling guilty about making the choice that feels financially irresponsible. Help?? Answer #4: I'm not a financial planner, but, like you, I am pretty level headed and forward-thinking in terms of finances. My husband and I put a lot of money away every month for retirement and I happily drive a shitty minivan (fully paid for!) to make room for the savings. LOL. This decision - and the way you have laid it out - is very difficult. You've weighed the pros and cons already a lot and you can't figure out the best choice...neither can I! My family took a Disney cruise a couple years ago and it was a wonderful experience. We spent WAY too much money on it. More than we thought we would, more than we had planned for. More than we were comfortable with, once it was all said and done and added up. If we had known ahead of time how much it was going to end up costing...I think we may have talked ourselves out of doing it. But it was the trip of my kids' lifetime - no exaggeration. They still talk about it like it was the best 7 days in the history of the world. We will have those memories forever. I know it's different because you are considering what to spend big money on, rather than whether to spend it at all, AND it's your parent's money going towards the wedding...but you can see where I am going with this.  That all being said...I think you can and should maybe find a middle ground - a compromise. Consider cutting the guest list so that it cuts the overall budget. You likely don't have 170 people that you love, keep in touch with, have seen in the last 2 years, and that will be in your life two years from now. And try and put 15% down on the house. As a home owner myself...after many years of renting and saving...I can't tell you how PROUD you are of your first home, and your ability to pay for it. It's a huge feeling of accomplishment. You have a big decision in front of you, but I think the good news is that you have an abundance of great, solid choices. Whatever you decide - move forward with it confidently and enjoy the process. You rob yourself of joy if you hem-n-haw and spend time regretting or feeling guilty. Either way you go - you are getting to live the dream, so to speak. I hope this helps! Please keep us posted! I'm invested now! Listener’s Update #4 Thank you so much for the advice! After visiting all our venues and weighing our options, we decided to scale back but still continue with the full traditional wedding and reception. As much as I love the all inclusive venue we saw, it is quite a bit more expensive than doing a wedding a la carte at our other favorite venue. And we’re thinking closer to 120 for the guest list. Here’s the best part — at some point in the not too distant future, my fiancé and I decided that we will move in with my parents for a bit while we plan as the final push to save money for our future home. I especially appreciate your 15% advice. 10% is low and 20% is daunting, so 15% gives us a great goal so we don’t feel like we’re back at home indefinitely. My parents are super cool and thrilled to have us! Links We Referenced zola.com/bigwedding (https://welcome.zola.com/allproducts_alldevices_50/?pkey=bigweddingpod&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=bigwedding&) Promo Code: SAVE50 for 50% off save the dates! alpinerings.com (https://alpinerings.com/) Promo Code: BIGWEDDING15 The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Alpine Rings (https://alpinerings.com/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/)

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Megan Breukelman, a Brooklyn Wedding Photographer, has had a hell of a year! Like so many of you, her clients have had to change their plans. Listen in as Megan tells Michelle and Christy her lessons learned and how couples can work with their photographer now as they reschedule and change their wedding plans. Megan works together with her husband Kenneth in their photography business capturing natural moments and comforting couples. Big Takeaways One of the many wonderful things about photographers in this time is that they can travel far easier than many other vendors. So if your wedding moved from NYC in June to Boston in June 2022, it might be possible to keep that photographer and just pay a fee for them to travel. A lot of work for a photographer is after the wedding, editing, creating an album, making a quality package to deliver, etc. Elopement vs. Engagement shoots: there is a lot of different preparation during these shoots. They are not a one-for-one swap. For instance, if it rains on your Engagement shoot day, you just move it to another day. You can’t change the day of your Elopement so easily. Elopements always have two shooters, no matter what. Micro-weddings and Elopements take a lot of work for photographers in the preparations, shooting and editing and overall physical labor of it all. There is more that goes into wedding photography than the coverage on the day of and it’s more than likely that your photographer is working double or triple shifts. Just because there are less guests does not mean there is less work for the photographer. If you are preparing to postpone your wedding, your photographer should be one of the first vendors that you speak to. The most important thing to remember when dealing with your photographer, and any vendor for that matter, is that they're on your team. They want your day to go as smoothly as possible and they want to be a part of that success. They are not working against you and they care about you. This is a bizarre time for everyone and we’re all navigating the best that we can. When it comes to rescheduling and postponing, you may have to be more flexible than you thought. It’s important to consider your vendors availability! Links We Referenced meganbreukelman.com (https://meganbreukelman.com/) meganandkenneth.com (https://meganandkenneth.com/) The Photo Op Podcast (https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-photo-opp-podcast-finding-opportunity-in-photography/id1493682629) bluenile.com (https://www.bluenile.com/) Quotes “Photography should be socially distanced to begin with.” - Megan “Every time we finish engagement sessions, people are like, ‘Oh my gosh I really needed this, thank you I’m so hyped about our wedding again!’” - Megan “It’s been a bizarre and exciting time.” - Megan The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Alpine Rings (https://alpinerings.com/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Megan Breukelman.

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Ashleigh and Toniah, hosts of the Hue I Do podcast, join us today on a special crossover episode about completely re-planning a wedding in COVID times, representation in podcasting, and more. Big Takeaways Ashleigh worked with a videographer who was able to pivot and help them host a streaming wedding. Many vendors have found ways to make your day beautiful even if it wasn’t what you thought it would look like. Having a few vendors to help on the day of is super important. Ashleigh had a photographer, videographer, and planner in house, which was a huge relief especially as they were streaming the ceremony. Toniah, acting as Maid of Honor, coordinated a unique bachelorette event for all the friends. Each step required a lot of creative thinking, but they did make an extra special day that will be unforgettable. Links We Referenced The Hue I Do Website (https://hueido.com/) Blue Nile (https://www.bluenile.com/) Quotes “I think many of Ashleigh’s family members learned a lot about her that day.” - Toniah “Within the 72 hours after the wedding, three people were like, ‘Wait so you did that?’” - Ashleigh The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Alpine Rings (https://alpinerings.com/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Hue I Do.

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Ron Porter is the wine and spirits director for Andy’s Local Market which is compromised of three stores in Marin County. He is a certified sommelier and has been in the retail wine and food business for 45 years. For 10 years, he has had his own business in San Francisco which featured wine and food gift basket delivery. Big Takeaways Estimates are done purely by averages when it comes to pricing a bar. Some people drink more some drink less. And when coming up with that number, that is taken into consideration. For Ron, that averages to about a half a bottle of wine, or 5 oz of spirits, or 1 bottle of beer per person. Have a variety of wine options for different palates. For red wine, keep it at medium bodied. Go with bottles of beer at weddings. Kegs are delicious but they often lead to a lot of waste. Instead of sparkling wine or champagne, Ron recommends Cava! It’s light, lower cost, and quite delicious. Vodka is king in the wedding bar. Main spirits are vodka, and gin. Brandy is starting to come back. Plan in advance! If you are getting your own alcohol, remember you will need to put it on ice at least 4 hrs before. Get the alcohol days early, and go from there. Don’t try last minute. Link We Referenced andyslocalmarket.com (https://www.andyslocalmarket.com/) line39wines.com (https://www.line39wines.com/) Quotes “Keep it focused. Keep it simple.” - Ron “If you’re worried about more what’s in the glass than you are about what you are celebrating, there’s something wrong.” - Ron The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Alpine Rings (https://alpinerings.com/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Ron Porter.

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Lindsay and Cory Jones, Woman Getting Married co-hosts, and real-life married couple, join us today to share about their wedding, their podcast, their website, and their hot tips for wedding venues and planning within your budget. Big Takeaways Within the Woman Getting Married website, you can view venue reviews listed by location. They are also adding search filters for price range, and more. The venue plays a huge role in your wedding, and can really influence your design choices. Lindsay really believes in the importance of chairs at weddings. The right chair can really make the room come together. Links We Referenced womangettingmarried.com womangettingmarried.com/wedding-alcohol-calculator-open-bar dawnranch.com alpinerings.com promocode: BIGWEDDING15 Quotes “On the site, we really want to help couples plan the wedding that they want, in their budget and give them all the information that they need to make that happen.” - Lindsay “If you find a venue that has a beautiful view, or it has great architectural details, then you don’t need to spend as much on decor.” - Lindsay “I think you get kind of caught up in what you think is supposed to be important... if chairs are number one to you, then that’s number one to you.” - Cory The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics. * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Alpine Rings (https://alpinerings.com/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Lindsay Goldenberg.

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On the last Wednesday of every month, we answer wedding planning questions from our listeners. These are always chock full of information that EVERYONE can benefit from. We have so much fun and we love our listeners for reaching out. Instagram Question #1: I have a really good relationship with my fiancé’s mom and I’ve done some wedding dress shopping with her which all went very well. But lately she’s started slipping up and saying specific things about the type of dress I want in front of my fiancé, and today she blurted out the cut of dress. Luckily he didn’t know what it meant, but all it takes is one google search and I’m really upset that it may no longer be a surprise. I really want to keep her involved but now I’m wondering if I should cut her off from dress shopping and stop telling her anything about it? Answer: We get a lot of questions about MILs and family dynamics like this, but we haven't ever gotten this question specifically. I'm sorry we didn't see this in time to address it in the Live. We think that you have included her a lot already for the dress-experiences and it's ok to kind of move forward without her now - at least for this one aspect of the wedding planning. There are things to do together that aren't so secret-sensitive, so stick to those elements of wedding planning, knowing that she won't accidentally slip up and over-share. It’s because she is excited! It’s so great that you have a good relationship with her! If she asks about the dress/veil/shoes/look...just say you haven't made any final decisions yet, or that you want her to be surprised too. Email Question #2: Rehearsal Dinner Drag We originally planned to invite 170 guests to our wedding that was supposed to be in June 2020. We decided to postpone to next June due to COVID. I have a feeling that things will not be back to normal by early next summer and also just don't feel the need anymore to invite all 170 guests. In fact, I am really warming up to the idea of a 60 person wedding that basically includes our wedding party and close family (out to our cousins). We see 80% of this group multiple times a year. Originally, the rehearsal dinner was going to be about 60 - essentially the group that could be our new entire guest list. What should we do about the new rehearsal dinner group? I am not sure I like the idea of seeing everyone on Friday..makes Saturday less hyped, but at the same time, most of these people would be traveling for our wedding...but we also see a lot of them on the reg (in non covid times of course). I want both days to feel special and like the idea of Friday being more intimate than Friday but maybe that's just old fashioned and me trying to keep some excitement and suspense for Saturday. Answer: I agree that if you see these people a lot, make the rehearsal dinner WAY smaller. If you are feeling like maybe you should do something since some are traveling in, how about choosing a bar to meet up at on Friday night? Nothing formal, but just like a "hey, we will be at ABC Bar by 8pm for anyone that want's to come say hi" sort of thing? That way, you let them know you are happy they are there, don't have to pay for anything if you don't want to and you can leave at a reasonable time to get your beauty sleep. FB Community Question #3: I am getting ready to do my wedding party proposals and am having a hard time finding something for my brother to do. My brother is 18 and has several disabilities including Tourettes. Being in high stress (weddings) situations triggers his movements and because of this, he is a pretty shy person. I want him to be apart of my wedding and have a special role but don't want to trigger him or make him feel anxious or stressed about it. I think that being an actual groomsman will be too much for him, does anyone have any suggestions on what he can do? Answers: Michelle: How about like a table as guests arrive the reception with a guest book of some sort? Some couples like to have creating guest books like with Polaroid cameras for example and special pens, etc. it’s nice to put a person kind of in charge of that space to keep it organized and help guests with it. Do you think that is something he would be comfortable with? Others: Walk mom down the aisle, walk you down the aisle - not awkward if you’re walked down by two people. I just got married and my career is working with people with disabilities. Perhaps you can make him a groomsmen and give him choices on how he would like to participate. Maybe he wants to walk down the aisle but sit in the audience. Maybe he wants to arrive later than the rest of your wedding party and and just take a few pictures with everyone else. I think as long as you and your finance are willing to be flexible, he'll be thrilled to participate in whatever way makes him comfortable Email Question #4: I've gotten into a bit of a weird situation while venue hunting and I'm not really sure what to do. My fiancé and I got engaged this summer and are thinking of getting married in 2022 (provided that the situation with COVID improves). We found the perfect venue in a small town just outside our city - it fits our price range, has delicious food and is STUNNING. We were about to book it when a friend of the family, who lives in this town and works in the wedding industry, warned us that the owner of the venue has a bad drug problem and is addicted to cocaine! This has really thrown me and I'm not sure what to do with this information or how to process. Part of me feels like it's not really my business, since it sounds like a personal problem the owner is dealing with. It also may or may not even affect our wedding, since we have mostly been dealing with the venue coordinator (who has been nothing but professional) and we haven't needed to interact with the owner (We only spoke to the owner once on the phone, and it was just to book an appointment with the venue coordinator). But I can't un-know this information and it does make this venue (which is not cheap) feel riskier. I'm just so conflicted because I have gotten very emotionally invested in this venue and I don't know if this "rumour" should change my plans, especially since the venue is otherwise so perfect. Help me navigate this peculiar situation and the risks involved. Answer: This IS a peculiar situation! Ok, let's say for argument's sake, the owner is in fact ADDICTED to cocaine. What do you know about the ownership of this venue? Is it just the 1 individual owner? How many years has the venue been around? What are the reviews online for this venue (Google, Yelp, Facebook, etc..). If for some reason, the owner was to overdose, go into rehab or go bankrupt, realistically, what would happen to this venue? Is there a way to look into the % of ownership he has? How involved is the owner with the operations side of the venue? Does he work the events himself? I ask all of this because well, what is the risk of this ruining your wedding? Contractually, you will want to be absolutely sure to look at the cancellation clause as well as what happens if the venue has to cancel, etc... Your friend in the wedding industry, is she going off of rumors, or does she have proof? Addiction is of course very serious, but some people do recreational drugs and whether or not others approve or judge, has little to do with the reality of if his venue is going to go under. I'm sure your friend has good intentions and if she is an expert and knows this owner well, then perhaps you should listen to her. It's hard for me to speculate as I don't know the situation. Lastly, if you and/or your partner are concerned that you will lose money or just overall feel a gut feeling of genuine discomfort, then it's not worth it. You definitely do not want any added stress to your wedding planning experience. Wedding planning should be a positive experience and not a negative one. Email Question #5: My fiancé and I postponed our wedding from September 2020 to September 2021. At the time it felt like a no brainer since we are planning to get married in NYC, and it actually felt less stressful to just postpone it to when we thought it would be safer for everyone. Now I am feeling the stress creep back in as we are less than a year out from our new date and Covid continues to spread. I feel like we are never going to be able to have our wedding with all of our loved ones (our original guest list was 150, but we would be happy if we could invite at least 75 people). That being said, it just seems impossible to imagine that we will ever be able to gather and celebrate ever again. I know no one knows when things will get better or has any real solutions, but it's hard to even find someone I can talk to about the stress and sadness I'm feeling. I've tried venting to my sister and bridesmaids, but feel like it's a burden since everyone is dealing with their own issues brought on by covid. It's just really difficult when people say "oh just go to the courthouse and get married" or "just get married and move on with your life" when what my partner and I have always dreamed of is a celebration that includes our family and friends. I would love any tips and guidance on how to navigate this crazy time and to remain hopeful when things just seem so terrible. I know that there are so many people dealing with much bigger problems than not knowing what their wedding will be like, but that doesn't change the disappointment and anxiety my partner and I feel about potentially having to postpone again or change the entire vision of what we wanted for our big day. Answer: We have heard from so many listeners in the same boat as you and your partner. What you are feeling is very valid and normal. Anyone who is not in your position will be difficult to talk to because they have not experienced having to postpone their wedding because of a Pandemic. Tips to navigate through this time? Plan the wedding. The worst that can happen? You postpone again. I can tell you however that after hearing that a Vaccine is coming that is 90% effective has certainly made Christy and me VERY hopeful! Listen to some older episodes of ours that are Pre-COVID and mention no pandemic whatsoever. I really do feel that we are almost up that hill and that the horizon will be in view soon. Stay hopeful and forge ahead Emily. That's the best advice I can give. I'm excited for the two of you! I hope that was helpful to you. Oh and my apologies for the late response here. We are tackling our inbox the best we can. Links We Referenced: alpinerings.com (https://alpinerings.com/) Use Code: BIGWEDDING15 zola.com/bigwedding (https://welcome.zola.com/allproducts_alldevices_50/?pkey=bigweddingpod&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=bigwedding&) Use code: SAVE50 The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Become part of our Facebook Group (https://www.facebook.com/groups/TBWPP)! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * If you want to get in touch with us you can email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle!

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Michelle & Christy get a bit mesmerized by Liz Taylor on this one. Not only are we suckers for a strong English accent, but we LOVE when we have the opportunity to speak to a bad-ass, boss, insanely experience wedding planner. Enjoy...we sure did! Liz Taylor, CEO of the Taylor Lynn Corporation (TLC), has been at the forefront of the UK luxury wedding industry for over 30 years. Creating weddings and events that push back the boundaries of design, technology and theatrical presentation. TLC’s wedding events are frequently featured in the pages of celebrity media such as OK! and Hello magazines, and she has been a media contributor to luxury wedding publications, the BBC, Channel 4, Channel 5 and to the ITV flagship daytime programme, This Morning. Most recently, Liz has been sharing the benefit of her knowledge on a number of topics for the hospitality industry, including how to react to the current COVID-19 situation in terms of business planning, how the meeting, wedding and events landscape will look in 2021, and of course, what it is like to be a female pioneer in her industry. Big Takeaways Family dynamics can be a large challenge when it comes to planning your wedding. Your planner often plays the role of therapist. When it comes to dealing with divorced parents, there is nothing wrong with a table of two for the couple, and a semi-circle of tables for friends. And then have a table for the mother, and one for the father to avoid unnecessary drama. Plan it out, talk it out. Find the best set up for your situation. You will be spending a lot of time with your planner. It is so important to click with your planner and vice versa. Having a positive and beautiful connection will be so helpful in the long run. Embrace your wishes! There are no rules. Make it a day worth looking back on and smiling. Links We Referenced Liz Taylor's Website (https://www.liz-taylor-consulting.co.uk/wp-content/cache/all/index.html) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) (elopements) Quotes “Big budgets are great but they do give me sleepless nights.” - Liz “Every month, I’m retiring.” - Liz “Don’t get bogged down with the superficial pressures that we think are there.” - Liz The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Honored to have our music created and produced by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Alpine Rings (https://alpinerings.com/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Liz Taylor.

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With over fifteen years in the wedding industry, award-winning wedding planner and designer Terrica has been creating exquisite weddings and events in the Golden Isles. Terrica is extremely passionate about elevating and encouraging female entrepreneurs, and in this episode, shares some of her amazing insights on the topic of becoming a wedding planner. As the Chief Wedding Planner and Designer of Cocktails & Details®, Terrica leads a team of talented wedding planners and event managers in creating unforgettable destination Southern weddings. Terrica also launched The White Lounge, an intimate wedding planning studio in Historice Downtown Brunswick that brings couples and wedding professionals together. Maintaining a deep connection to her peers under the premise of “each one, teach one”, Terrica created the largest and most diverse online community for wedding planners and designers– bringing together the best and brightest from every corner of the globe for collaboration and connection. Big Takeaways * The wedding is so much more than the design. It takes a lot to get there. You have to be able to take on a lot of roles in order to be a successful planner. * You cannot be afraid of being tough and dealing with really hard situations. Sometimes things don’t work out, and you have to be the one to tell the couple. Wedding planning takes a large degree of fearlessness and then ingenuity to adjust the sails. * Planning your own wedding will be nothing like planning someone else’s wedding. At your own wedding, the day is about you! That is only true for your wedding. * Get in contact with any pro that you can. Even if it’s not directly a wedding planner. Offer to help them work a wedding day and see it from their perspective. Get in touch with people that resonate with your potential style. * Do an internship. Go to a conference. Network. Ask question. Study. Take classes. Build up your cache of experience and information. * When you shadow and intern, stay the WHOLE day at the wedding, the whole 10-12 hours. This is so crucial. * There are so many wonderful elements of a wedding, but you have to have the ability to get through every part of it, good, bad, ugly. Links We Referenced https://terricainc.com/ terricainc.com/podcast/ (https://terricainc.com/podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) https://alpinerings.com/ Use Code: BIGWEDDING15 Quotes “You are a therapist. You are an accountant. You are the designer. You are the best friend. You are the shopper. You are so many things.” - Terrica “The feelings are what people buy into. The feelings are what allows them to drop that wall.” - Terrica “This day is more important than their wedding hashtag, it’s more important than us getting featured.” - Terrica The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Honored to have our music created and produced by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Alpine Rings (https://alpinerings.com/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Terrica.

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Allison Webb is the designer of her namesake bridal collection, Allison Webb, and the Ti Adora by Allison Webb collection. Born and raised in Georgia, Allison attended the University of Georgia and then moved to New York City where she received a degree in Fashion Design from Parsons. Allison began her career interning at Chado Ralph Rucci where she witnessed the art of true couture dressmaking firsthand. Her devotion to luxury craftsmanship led her to the studio of Oscar de la Renta where she spent a year working alongside Oscar and his design team. Soon after, Allison worked for J.Crew, helping with their ready-to-wear and bridal collections and later became their embellishment designer. Allison’s career progressed with roles at Tory Burch and Ann Inc., where she designed luxury embellishments and bridal gowns, respectively. She joins us today to share about her journey through various facets of couture fashion and dress making, her design tips for different body types, and many more lovely insights. Big Takeaways There are no hard and fast rules for wedding dresses! Wear what excites you and makes you feel great. Crepe dresses are like the Lululemon of wedding dresses if it’s thick enough. However, they are often too thin and hang to every nook and cranny of the body. Buy your dress at the size you are at right now. If you need to, you can take the dress in later, but don’t set those weight-loss goals for your wedding, it’s too much stress and you look stunning in the right dress. Think positively and be excited when shopping during this pandemic. This is true outside of the pandemic too, get stoked for the process of dress shopping. Don’t take too many people with you. Do your hair up a bit to embrace the feeling of the done-up look. If you have a specific dress in mind, call ahead to the shop. If they don’t have it they sometimes can call to the designer to have it loaned for the try-on. Links We Referenced jlmcouture.com/allison-webb (https://www.jlmcouture.com/allison-webb) instagram.com/allisonwebbnyc (https://www.instagram.com/allisonwebbnyc/) Quotes “If you want to wear the princess gown when you’re 50, you should wear the princess gown when you’re 50.” - Allison “It’s important to see brides and real women that are wearing your dress.” - Allison “You should buy the dress at the size you are.” - Allison Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Honored to have our music created and produced by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast). Become a member and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! Our Partners (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/partners) Special Deals for Listeners - TBWPP Enthusiastically Approved! Alpine Rings (https://alpinerings.com/) FlowerMoxie (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) The Flashdance (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) Cactus Collective (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Unboring Officiant (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Special Guest: Allison Webb.

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Our monthly installment of You Ask, We Answer. Where we answer all sorts of questions from our listeners. Email 1 My partner and I recently got engaged, but haven't announced it yet (we've only told family at this point). He would rather wait until we have the ring before we announce---which sounds reasonable to me. While we had originally wanted a big Fall 2021 wedding, we decided that wouldn't be possible with all of the Covid rescheduling. So instead we decided to do 1) a small wedding in 2021 with family, and 2) a larger event and reaffirmation of vows ceremony in Fall 2022. That's such a long way off, but with the current rescheduling climate we realized we needed to actually start booking pretty soon. My question is this: since the booking timeline is already so sped up from normal years, should we also plan to speed up other parts of our planning? So for instance, should we plan to send save-the dates even earlier than normal (further than 6-12 months in advance)? Should I get my bridal party on board ASAP? Etc. It feels so early (almost absurdly early) to be worrying about these things, but I also know that there's already high demand going into 2022. Answer: So, this is a good question and one that's been popping up a LOT lately. The best way to answer this is to speed up the parts of planning that you feel might be threatened by others speeding up their planning. For example, booking a caterer, a photographer, a venue...all of those professional services that are of a high priority to you and your partner, book those as soon as you are able, simply because those wedding professionals or services might get booked up and then you will have less to choose from. Does that make sense? That being said, some wedding professionals might not book that far in advance, but at least inquire and if they tell you, to check back in 6 months, put that on your calendar and get back in touch with them. Save the Dates? Eh..you CAN send them out now, but really, that's 2 years away and really, it's kind of overkill. I would wait a while, like maybe 18 months out? I mean, who they hell know's what they will be doing 2 years from now? Not me! LOL Voice Mail 1 - Venues and vendors Question about Venue Exclusive Wedding Planners. They already hired their own planner who helped them get started including securing the venue, timeline, etc... She wants to bring her on for the rest of planning if it’s a good fit, they really like her and get along well. One of the venues they like only allows for their exclusive planner for minimum of Month-Of. Should they forget this venue all together or at least interview their planner first? They love the venue they are seeing with their current planner. Should they keep it as a back up in case their current wedding planner and venue are not a good match? Should they tell their current planner know they are looking into this other venue too? Answer: If you are going to see the venue that has the planner included, know that going into it. Only see it if you are okay with the potential of falling in love with it. Be transparent! Communication is key and should be one of the top priorities when finding a wedding planner. Chelsea responded saying she later toured the venue. She tried to reach out to the exclusive planner, but communication issues ensued. In that time, their original getting-started planner was excellent at communication and helping along! So she eventually decided it probably isn’t meant to be. And trusted her gut. Voice Mail 2 - Retrospective and Lessons Learned Casey calls in and shares the many lessons learned and experiences had in the time of Covid. She’s a wealth of knowledge and warmness! A Big Takeaway: Uninviting guests is something that most couples are struggling with right now. Especially with multiple reschedules and new plans. It’s so hard. Email 2 Do you have any advice or tips on an after party? My wedding is at an outdoor venue and because of a noise ordinance we can’t go past 10pm. What do you usually see people do for after parties? Our venue is a little far from any hotels so I’m just not sure what the best place would be for an after party? Also, how do we let our guests know about it? Will guests expect us to provide food and drinks at an after party too? Answer After Parties...so fun! The best advice I can give is to choose a bar somewhere not too far from the venue (call the bar and let them know you will be showing up if you can) and let your guests know you are planing on hanging there after the wedding and you would love to party with them there. You do NOT have to pay for drinks or food if you do it informally that way. If you want to do a round of drinks, go for it and ask the bar in advance what might be the best way of doing that (drink tickets, etc...). Other than that, we've seen people rent out banquet rooms or hotel rooms for smaller groups. Links We Referenced: unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/ (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) alpinerings.com (https://alpinerings.com) Use Code: BIGWEDDING15 flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/ (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)

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Jordan Kentris is the founder & creative director of A Good Day, a bespoke experience studio specializing in Custom Stationery, Branding and User Experience. He’s worked with international clients on weddings and events for the past 5 years and also brings 13 years of experience in advertising & digital customer experience. A Good Day was born out of a need to help businesses and couples create meaningful experiences that spark wonder & curiosity. Jordan joins us today to speak about his industry, COVID related changes and adjustments, and how to be a creative vendor. Big Takeaways If you have guests that might be traveling, let your guests know the new save the date. Give as much detail as possible. Obviously some things are up in the air. But giving your guests more info will help your rescheduled wedding go smoothly! Remember that the USPS is having numerous issues right now, so being prepared months in advance for mailings is key. Silver Linings List - Enjoy the process. - More time and opportunities to work creatively with vendors. - Re-engage in the planning process. - Take advantage of the remote work - your home speaks to your design aesthetic. We’re more comfortable and vulnerable and open at home -- all good for creativity and productivity! Tap into it! - Explore the crazy ideas that you didn’t do before because you didn’t have the time to really think about them! As a couple, this is a wonderful time to really take time to connect on a deeper level. There are not a lot of opportunities to escape. Strengthen your love and connections. Links We Referenced agooddayinc.com (Mention TBWPP when inquiring for free envelope addressing) facebook.com/agooddayinc (https://www.facebook.com/agooddayinc) instagram.com/agooddayinc (https://www.instagram.com/agooddayinc/) flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) (Use code BIGWEDDING at checkout) theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/ (https://www.cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/ (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) alpinerings.com/discount/bigwedding (https://alpinerings.com) Quotes “There are some really good things about to come out of all of this.” - Jordan “I like to bring in personality of the couple throughout the whole wedding design suite.” - Jordan “We’ve been able to really break through a few of the things we have had challenges communicating about in the past. There is always something else and now we get to strip all that back.” - Jordan Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Jordan Kentris.

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Mike Cassidy is a boudoir photographer from New Jersey who is passionate about both photography and helping his clients to remain invested in themselves. While his clients receive an incredible experience and beautiful one-of-a-kind photos, the real service he provides is the joy and heart filling experience every time his images are viewed. Mike has become an advocate and resource of “real” authentic information about boudoir photography to help others make smart choices when choosing a photographer, so everyone can enjoy boudoir and have a positive experience. Mike joins us today to talk about how to shop for a boudoir photography and the ins and outs of his business. Big Takeaways Boudoir photography is a great wedding gift. It is so much fun and rewarding. The empowerment that comes with the experience is so positive. A lot of Mike’s client range in the late 20 to early 30s range, but he sees clients of all ages. Beauty is really ageless, and there is no limit. There is no specific type of women that boudoir photo shoots are for, in fact, Mike sees people from every walk of life. It’s for everyone. Society doesn’t always let people express their sexuality as freely as we should be able to. Women are often in “roles” like mom, execs, etc and do not get the opportunity to really express this side of themselves. Book early! Boudoir is not a great last minute project. Photographers are busy during wedding seasons and often booked months in advance. Session take time, even after the shoot is complete, it can take a few weeks for editing, printing, binding, etc. Referrals are a great starting point for finding the photographer for you. Make sure you feel comfortable with the person who is going to be there. Do your research. Don’t settle based entirely on cost. Have a range you are comfortable with so you can pick the best photographer in that range. Links We Referenced instagram.com/michaelcassidy (https://www.instagram.com/michaelcassidy/) mikecassidyphotography.com (https://www.mikecassidyphotography.com) alpinerings.com/discount/bigwedding (http://alpinerings.com/discount/bigwedding) flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast (https://flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/ (http://cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/ (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Quotes “A lot of people are nervous, anxious when they’re coming in, you need to also be this calming force.” - Mike “Price, when you see that, isn’t enough information to make a smart decision when shopping for a photographer.” - Mike “Plan early, start early, and don’t let it be a last minute thing.” - Mike Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Michael Cassidy.

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Today we are joined by newly married Lexie Harmon. Lexi & Ernie were Michelle's clients and on this episode, Lexi shares about losing her brother, rescheduling her wedding multiple times due to COVID, keeping positive throughout the craziness, and dealing with the emotional rollercoaster of 2020. Big Takeaways: * Get a wedding planner. * Get a videographer. * Everything is weird and unstable right now, and nothing is in our control. But remember the reason you are getting married. * Keep your focus on that. Enjoy the pieces that are successful. We are all in this together. * Reach out to your dear ones. * Use your friends to make it look the way you want! It’s hard, but it can still be beautiful and meaningful. Be open to reimagining how it’s going to be. Things might have to happen out of order, but that just means more parties! * If something is super important to you with the wedding, do it. Quotes: “We wanted to get married, and we wanted to get married now, dammit!” - Lexie “I’m a stylist, I didn’t want everyone to be wearing a mask.” - Lexie “People are a lot more understanding than you might expect during this time.” - Lexie “The whole thing was a crazy ride.” - Michelle Links We Referenced: whiteinkcalligraphy.com (http://whiteinkcalligraphy.com) abbeyrentssf.com (http://abbeyrentssf.com) foreigncinema.com (http://foreigncinema.com) aubergeresorts.com/solage/ (https://aubergeresorts.com/solage/) stopgolove.com (https://stopgolove.com) anselevanclayburn.com (https://www.anselevanclayburn.com) alpinerings.com/discount/bigwedding (https://alpinerings.com) flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast (flowermoxie.com/pages/the-big-wedding-podcast) theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast (https://www.theflashdance.com/virtual-party-the-big-wedding-planning-podcast) cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/ (http://cactus-collective.com/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast/) unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/ (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)

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Our monthly installment of You Ask, We Answer. Where we answer all sorts of questions from our listeners. Question 1: An inspiring discussion about a dress from a member of our FB Community I've got some real dress drama. I got my dress Dec 2019. I fell in love with this dress-- like, this one was "the one." Best part was I LOVED the color, because it's pink! I also got it for a real steal-- $100 instead of $1200 because it was 90% off! But everyone HATED my pick, even my mom. A couple of people in my bridal party let it slip to my fiancé what I was wearing, too, because they didn't like it either. Now my original wedding date has passed and every time I look at my dress, I get sad thinking about what I lost I have another year before this wedding happens-- if it doesn't get canceled again. I'm wondering if I should go shopping for something else. I know it doesn't matter what other people think, but I don't know if I can be happy when I know my closest family and friends think I'm wearing an ugly dress (and have made it clear they think it's awful) Some of the comments and responses on FB: “umm...fuck. those. people. your day, your dress. you get to wear whatever you want and if you feel like a fucking queen in this dress, then you wear it” _“I am truly sorry people need to put you down to feel good about their choices and decisions. A new dress isn’t going to change others vitriol. And because I’m 100% that bitch- your body is your body. A more white, sleeved or whatever they want dress isn’t going to change that.” “I hate that the people who should be supporting you made you feel bad. it’s your day and you should wear whatever you love and what makes you feel your best. It’s a beautiful dress! People tend to hate things that are outside of their comfort zones. Im sure you’ve had to make a lot of sacrifices and changes from your original wedding plans due to COVID, so if this is the dress you see yourself marrying the love of your life in, then don’t let this be another thing you have to give up” Update from Bride: "So I scheduled a bridal appointment today at a different salon I went to originally. I was having mixed feelings when I walked in. By the time I tried the first dress on, I was thinking, 'That's it, I need a new dress!' My first one just can't compare with these. I tried on around seven dresses. I only found one that I liked. As they put the veil on, I had the thought, 'This is what I want to look like on my wedding day.' But I didn't get the fluttery butterflies or happy feelings I did before. There was no emotion. It was just, 'Okay, this is what is expected of me.' Then I realized I was actually tailoring my idea of what I wanted to look like on my wedding day to what everyone ELSE had in mind for me-- some picturesque perfect Hollywood wedding that was so standard it could fit anybody, but didn't really say "me." "It was then I figured out that no matter how many dresses I tried on or how many salons I went to, it would be a waste of my time because I'd already found exactly what I wanted-- my pinky, pretty princess dress." "I think the final decision came after the stylist told me my choice of dress would be close to $5,000. $5k compared to the $100 I'd spent on my original pick? There was just no contest. I kept seeing all the things I COULD do with $5k rather than spending all of it on a dress that I was only okay with, a dress that was meant for pleasing other people instead of just myself." "And then it all came to a head just how much of a box people had been trying to stuff me in my entire life instead of just allowing myself to be... me. I thanked the stylist, gave them an awesome review on The Knot (they really were a great salon) then hiked myself home to try on my original pinky dress. It wasn't as sparkly, or expensive, or dramatic as the ones I'd just tried on, it was a bit wrinkled from being abandoned in my closet, and the gems need a bit of shine, but it's MINE. So I'm happy to say that on my wedding day, I'll be wearing pink and anyone who doesn't like it can go suck an eggplant, because I'm no longer here for that noise." Question 2: Alone Time My fiance and his family are very against the first look. I totally get it with tradition and all but have you seen any other fun ways for the bride and groom to have a moment alone on the wedding day? I have heard of the meal alone but we talked about it and we both think we would feel rushed and like we need to get to our party. I am open to ideas! Thanks! Answer 2: For a little time 'just the two of you' on the wedding day - I think it doesn't have to be much time to feel special and to give you two a bit of time to connect and take it all in a little. I have three suggestions: 10 minutes to eat and freshen up before you enter the reception. After all of the formal photos post-ceremony. Everyone else goes to cocktail hour and you can take 10ish minutes alone to chug some water, freshen up, and eat some of the passed apps. It takes a little planning - you need a place to go and someone to bring you these things, but it's a nice little breather before you join the party - cause once you do, you won't really be alone for the rest of the event! First look in the reception hall or ballroom - if your venue has separate areas for cocktail and reception, you two can sneak into the reception area while everyone else is at cocktail hour. Usually the wedding planner or catering manager brings you in for this. You get a chance to take it all in alone, and you can see all of the planning and details before everyone comes in. I love the photos of this moment because it's like a reveal and the looks on the couples faces are usually so happy! End of the night - solo dance. This is a really sweet moment that happens at the very end of the night. All of the guests clear out (maybe they're outside getting ready for your grand exit...) and you both stay back in the reception room, with the photographer and DJ. Think candlelight and a love song. You have your last dance here, just the two of you. It's even romantic if the catering staff is still clearing out in the background. Question 3: What to do with my fiancé and his groomsmen/ushers on the morning of the wedding? Our ceremony is at a church about 15 minutes away from our reception venue (a hotel). My bridesmaids and I will getting ready at the hotel in a large suite with plenty of room for us. The guys are planning on getting breakfast and then getting ready before the photographer arrives just after lunch. Can the guys just get ready in their own hotel rooms? Do we need a separate space for them to gather? Is it okay then for the photographer to get a couple shots just in someone's hotel room? There are 7 guys total including my fiancé..so that seems like a lot for one regular room. I am sure that they can take photos in the lobby (it’s an old and very photogenic hotel), but should I plan to get them an extra room (like a meeting room space or suite?) Answer 3: Couple thoughts about this - in my experience, it's very helpful if the men have a set place to gather pre-wedding, just like the ladies. It's good to know everyone is where they are supposed to be, and it makes things easier in terms of planning and timing for the day. Photographers will agree with me here. The 'getting ready' shots aren't the same for the guys...but they still happen. Finishing touches, putting on jackets, maybe a toast in the room, stuff like that. They can relax and have some fun before the festivities of the day really get started. A hotel room is best for this, since you'll have one, so you can be on different floors. It can be a groomsman's room, but if you were to want more space, get a suite or an upgraded room. (I feel like guys like chairs to sit in - so a suite would have those when a regular room wouldn't - something to think about!). Having some outdoor space like a patio is nice. But the main thing is that they're all in one place -- and their stuff is in that place too. So someone needs a key, and I don't think it should be your groom's room where this happens. He'll potentially have extra crap in his room if it is and he won't want to deal with it - whether he's sleeping in that room or not. (You'd be surprised how many half empty water bottles, random pairs of pants, and stuff like that ends up in the 'getting ready' room.) The way it usually works is that the girls all get ready in the big suite and that suite is the one that the couple stays in on the wedding night. (So your girls are going to have to come back at some point and move their crap and clean up a little for you to come back to a nice, peaceful room after the wedding. Trust me, this is usually something I do for my brides!). And the guys get ready in an extra room that you book, or in a single groomsman's room. It's convenient for the guys to have a place to meet up in the morning just like you will be doing. Photos in the lobby or outside will likely still happen, but the photographer can meet them in the room first and go from there. Hope this helps! No need to schedule something for them to do or anything like that. Just have plenty of water, good music playlists, maybe some booze - and you can even stash some possible necessities in the room for them - like snacks, extra masks, deodorant, mouthwash, etc. Gifts if your fiancé is doing those... Voicemail Question: My original wedding date was in May, and so it did not go on as planned. We eloped and rescheduled the wedding for next year. How we can prevent this from just feeling like a party? How do we keep the vows and introductions from feeling theatrical? How do we recapture that magic? Answer: We get it. The second time doesn’t capture the same energy or magic. But don’t think of this as a re-do. You are legally married and that was its own event. But this is a different event. There is no certainty but you can start to get excited about this new event. You’ll be with people you probably have not seen in a long time. Celebrating YOUR marriage. Drop the things that didn't excite you in the original planning, just do this wedding party your way. There are no rules anymore! Links We Referenced: alpinerings.com (https://alpinerings.com) Promo Code: BIGWEDDING15 unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)

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The Big Wedding Planning Podcast has been UPGRADED! Today we are joined by Steph Altman, music composer and owner of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). Steph has generously donated his brilliant musical talents to build a sound scape for our show. Mophonics, based out of LA and NY, has discovered and developed the careers of some of today’s most prominent artists, writers, and composers. Using his wide array of skills and knowledge, Steph explains the process of vamping up our theme song, and using that as a building block for all the other pieces he created. We share a few of the sounds, talk about how important a playlist or musical score are to creating a wedding, and hear about Playa Studios (http://www.playastudiosla.com/) in LA. Links We Referenced: mophonics.com (https://www.mophonics.com) playastudiosla.com (http://www.playastudiosla.com) Playa Studios on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/playastudios/) Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)

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Today we are joined by Katy Turchich, the proud owner of Coastal Coordinating, based mostly in Florida. The idea for Coastal Coordinating started in 2006 when she began helping family and friends plan their weddings and events. Eventually, it morphed into a strong business that continues to grow. Covid is stressful when it comes to many things. But Katy has some great tips for what to do when it comes to rescheduling. Big Takeaways Tips for rescheduling as a planner/couple: 1. Do what is best for you and your family. Really talk it through. 2. Once you have the plan of the couple’s new dream wedding, reach out to venue and get a few to several new dates. Work with the couple to find dates that work. 3. Work with all the vendors for all available dates, and start a spreadsheet for the client to find all and the best date that all the vendors love and are available. 4. Once you have the new date and all the vendors on board, help the client create a social media post that fits the couple’s style to inform the guests. Also, suggest a “change the date” postcard to mail out. 5. Gather and make sure all contracts with the new date are correct. 6. Work on the new planning timeline, day of timeline, update the budget, update the payment dates, and then start working on adjusting decor and colors as needed. 7. The main objective is to do everything for the client that can tae the stress away from them. Extra tips for rescheduling as a couple: 1. Hire a coordinator or work with a coordinator who knows how to take over the rescheduling. 2. Work with the venue on several dates that can work so you can your dream vendor team on the new date. 3. If you reschedule for a weekday or Sunday the venue usually will waive rescheduling fee and it is more likely that the vendors will be available. 4. If you move your wedding to the same season, keep in mind that will be best as far as theme, colors, etc go. If you were starting to plan a wedding now, Katy highly suggests looking into October to even 2022. You have a longer time to plan and have extra money for the wedding of your dreams. Hire a professional planner that can help you through everything. Make sure that they know how to read wedding contracts and make sure that the contracts have Covid clauses in there and it protects you as well. Having a planner can help you make a plan for planning during a pandemic and help you through this. Links We Referenced instagram.com/coastalcoordinating (https://www.instagram.com/coastalcoordinating/) facebook.com/coastalcoordinating (https://www.facebook.com/coastalcoordinating) coastalcoordinating.com (http://coastalcoordinating.com) pinterest.com/coastalcoordinating/ (https://www.pinterest.com/coastalcoordinating/_created/) Quotes “I physically do not have one weekend in 2021 now available because of every rescheduled event.” - Katy “You are going to love it again. I know it’s so stressful. But fall in love with the process again. Fall in love with the planning again. And it will happen. - Katy Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Katy Turchich.

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Kate Whelan is a wedding planner, business owner, and an Advocate for the Live Events Industry. The live event industry includes everything from weddings, concerts, festivals, and conferences to live sports. More than just the planners, the venues, the vendors are being effected by the pandemic! There is a massive trickle down happening causing a big wave in the events economy. Kate joins us to talk about about all the challenges, successes, questions, and more. Big Takeaways A non-lawful event isn’t necessarily illegal, but instead it goes against health orders/mandates. There are guidelines you must adhere to, and there are consequences should you not. These are put out by the health department, the mayor, and/or the governor. Ex: The consequence now in Illinois is s $10,000 fee. Some states are considering misdemeanor charges for the host (could be the couplet the planner, etc.) What couples need to know: 1. Do not rely on your vendors to tell you whether or not it is safe to have your event. 2. Check your state or county’s live event’s coalition. 3. Insurance is a huge consideration if you are moving your event to a private residence. Considering a micro-event any time soon? 1. Determine the current mandates or restrictions for your county. 2. Review cancellation policies as you book your vendors. 3. Be prepared to postpone, should mandates change. There is a lot of uncertainty right now. A lot of businesses are going to close. There are no insurance companies covering Covid related cancellations, but there are some that cover if the company claims bankruptcy. Make your own decisions about what is next, reach out to your vendors to see where they are coming from, and consider the financial impact. Links We Referenced www.californiaeventscoalition.com (https://www.californiaeventscoalition.com) www.katewhelanevents.com (http://katewhelanevents.com) liveeventscoalition.org (https://www.liveeventscoalition.org) Quotes _“Because most people’s perception of who is involved with any given event is so minimized by us doing a really good job, they don’t realize the economic impact we have across the United States.” - Kate“If you’re planning a wedding, you’re planning a live event.” - Michelle “Staying in the now and staying in the present is more important right now, more so than ever.” - Kate Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Kate Whelan.

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Suki and Anthony are writers from Miami, Florida. They combined their love for storytelling, performance, nerd culture, and all things offbeat into their wedding with a budget goal of $5k. Suki performs, writes, and teaches sketch comedy writing across South Florida. Anthony is a contributing author for a game publishing company. Fun Fact: Anthony and Suki teach screenwriting courses at the university where they met. They join us to talk about planning a wedding on a budget! Doing things your own way, saving money, and getting creative while not spending more than you want! Big Takeaways Do as much pre-production first. Figure out what are MUST HAVES then set the budget from there. Find where you can borrow, etc. Discuss your priorities before you discuss your number. Top Lessons Learned What to spend money on 1. Food! 2. Your photographer! 3. Small but thoughtful details that really make the experience What to totally skip 1. Try to keep in mind what your guests will feel and what they would remember and take away. If it won’t have an impact or be memorable, then skip it! 2. Rings - Suki and Anthony had their jeweler make sterling silver rings to use at the ceremony and then after the wedding they invested in gold bands. 3. No one will cry if you don’t have cake. 4. Favors 5. Attire: wear pieces that make you happy, and let the wedding party choose their own outfits. 6. Decor - Suki and Anthony used decorations from their own home. Why they wish they'd had a coordinator Day-Of. Suki and Anthony really wish they HAD hired one. It would have made the show run much smoother. Not that it was a catastrophe, but that would have helped immensely. What they learned about the bar service They did not trying to provide a full bar. Instead, they had a couple of craft cocktails they could mix in batches. Mostly, beer and wine are the best budget friendly bar options. There is no need to give the guests all the options. What super successful moments surprised them on their wedding day? The guests loved the experience, even the skeptical ones were thrilled by it. Rehearsals: 1. These are a MUST HAVE, especially if you have limited vendors and staff. 2. Helpful to have a meeting beforehand to cover everyone’s duties. Even if you have covered it. Face-to-face is key. Vendors Research. Ask friends. Don’t be afraid to be upfront with your budget. Ask them to work with you. If they are the right vendor for you, they will help you design a package that matches your needs. Some vendors may say no, and that’s okay - it’s part of the process! Allow Yourself To Be Flexible 1. Don’t be afraid to ask for help 2. Find people you love and trust. They want to help! They are there for YOU. 3. Be honest with what you have. 4. Be upfront with vendors and, if needed, guests. It’s okay if your budget isn’t huge! Links We Referenced instagram.com/2buckchuckbride (https://www.instagram.com/2buckchuckbride/) https://opalandjayephoto.com (https://opalandjayephoto.com) https://www.instagram.com/opalandjayephoto/ (https://www.instagram.com/opalandjayephoto/) Quotes “We definitely started from scratch.” - Anthony “How will this make our guests feel?” - Suki “We wanted to have pieces of our wedding outfits that we could continue to wear beyond the wedding day.” - Suki “A good vendor will work with you to customize your wedding package.” - Suki Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)

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Our monthly installment of You Ask, We Answer. Where we answer all sorts of questions from our listeners. Question #1: Vendor and COVID Guidelines I got in an argument with a vendor i had been in talks with about using for my upcoming wedding because they posted a video on their instagram of their whole crew setting up another wedding with all of their masks under their chin. the owner refused to acknowledge there was anything wrong with that and just kept saying i was “judging her without knowing her.” luckily its not too late to pull out on this one, but do you guys have any ideas on how i can make sure my vendors are actually following the rules? i’m super frustrated and disappointed Answer: This is so hard! Good for you for holding the vendor accountable. Masks don't help if they are worn around the chin. I am surprised she argued with you, honestly. I think you need to reach out to all your vendors now (via email) so you have it all in writing, and be upfront. Tell them what your expectations are for safety standards on your wedding day and request a confirmation from them. Tell them you are concerned and exactly how careful you want to be, what you want the vendor team to do Question #2: Questions for a caterer before booking I'm going through my planning process, and I'm feeling pretty organized. I found my perfect dress last night! I'm meeting with 2 caterers, and I guess my only thing is, I don't feel like i have enough questions to ask. When you meet with caterers, are there some go-to questions you always ask? They will also be hopefully handling some of the linen rentals and various rentals so I want to make sure I know what to ask so I can choose between them. Any thoughts would be very appreciated. Answer Here are some ideas to get you started: - What is included beyond the food? - serving style, rentals for front and back of house? - Do they cook anything on-site? Or bring it all in hot boxes? - What kind of set up do they need at the venue? (Full kitchen, tent outside, fridges?) - Who takes out all of the trashes and cleans up after the event? - Staffing - ask lots of questions about this. Better to have too many than too few - COVID precautions - will staff be required to wear masks? Gloves? - Is the person you work with from the tasting on the same person who will physically be there running the show or managing the team on the wedding day? - what is their cake cutting policy/fee? - Can you bring in other outside food - like if you wanted to have a popsicle vendor or something? Or a cookie table as favors for people to take ... things like that. Some caterers are strict, others very lax - Make sure the bartenders are part of the catering team and all liquor license/insurance stuff is good to go Question #3: When to DIY and when not to DIY I have questions about DIY. Do you have any guidance on what projects to attempt a DIY? I love getting crafty and creative, but I don't want to overextend myself. I certainly love Etsy but sometimes it's not quite what I'm looking for so I'm like...maybe I could make something similar myself? I loved your episode with FlowerMoxie and that really inspired me as well. My planner is of course very hesitant on me doing any florals. Bless her for giving me a kind response when I asked. I was like "well...maybe just the bar or cocktail table flowers??" Any guidance or episodes of your podcast to listen to? I'm going to be sleeping with the Cricut more often that I will my fiancé. Answer I am actually recording an episode this weekend with a DIY couple - lots of good, specific advice there, and I can bring up your questions as well! That episode should be coming out soon after the recording. Also - episode #53 is about DIY and budget weddings...what you can DIY and what we suggest you def hire professionals for. We talk a lot about this stuff in YAWAs too - but that info can be difficult to sift through, unfortunately. You can look through YAWA show notes for questions that specifically relate to you and the answers are all written out in full. Flower Moxie is awesome and her products are bundled in a VERY DIY-friendly way. It's like DIY with help getting there. She does the work, you get the fun part. I have to admit, as a planner myself, I was very skeptical about DIY flowers and the Flower Moxie model really changed my mind. Show her site and packages to your planner, along with some photos of what you are thinking about doing, and assure your planner that this won't mean that the floral- duties are going to fall to her (that's what we're concerned about!) because you will be doing them according to a well thought out week-of-wedding timeline, and that you'll have help - to create AND to bring/distribute. (Make sure this is actually true! lol) When deciding what to DIY and what to purchase or outsource, keep in mind what you actually LIKE to do. Is the idea of creating an escort card display really exciting to you? Would it feel good to do something like that in the weeks leading up to the wedding, or would it feel obligatory and like a chore, and something that will ultimately stress you out? If it's the latter, then don't DIY it! Put a value on peace of mind and a good nights sleep when wedding planning. Don't do anything that feels really daunting - unless you want to challenge yourself and you have plenty of time! I think I'm trying to say - choose to DIY only if it 'sparks joy'. Question #4: I have some questions regarding the bridal party and expectations. I was part of a bridal party one time and it cost me a lot of money! We went to Cabo and spent $800 each on flights/stay, $150 each for the bridal shower, $200 on the dress, $200 on hair/makeup for day of and thats just the big things I can think of right now. It was never even asked if I could afford it, which I couldn't... just added to my cc. Yikes! So, my bridal party is pretty mixed in regard to income and I am the first one of this group of friends to get married. My questions are: 1.) How much should I expect everyone to spend on a bachelorette weekend? 2.) What is a normal price to pay for hair/makeup? 3.) How much is typical to spend on a bridesmaid proposal box? 4.) Thoughts on a joined bachelor/bachelorette weekend? Also, two people in my bridal party do hair and makeup and have both made multiple comments about how they are going to do everyone's hair and makeup... I don't want them to... Is that mean? How do I tell them nicely that I don't want either of them to do it? What if they say they don't want to pay for hair/makeup but the company requires doing everyones hair/makeup? Answer We totally hear you that the bridesmaid experience can be VERY expensive! You're a good friend to even be considering all of this now! Here are my thoughts: 1- this is so varied! I think the more choice you give them, the more likely they'll feel comfortable spending their money. So - choice/options in arrival time, if they share a room or get their own, how they get there, etc... don't just be like - you need to stay in a $400 hotel room at this fancy hotel I chose, thanks! Also - please be understanding that not all of your bridesmaids will be able to attend. Whoever is hosting should handle the details. 2 - Normal hair and makeup prices are typically around $75/per service per person. 3 - I'd say around 50-100 4 - a joint weekend is great and fun - IF you think you are a no-drama couple. My cousin said she was going to do this for her bachelorette and I was like....bad idea. She and her fiancé fight when they are drunk and partying and they are just drama. Like jealousy and trust issues. Not a good combo when planning a 'fun!' weekend with groups of friends that will be both separate and mixed at times! As far as the H/MU goes - I don't like the idea of you making your girls get it, unless you are going to pay for it. It's very common that only half the girls will want hair and all want makeup, or some combo like that. The stylist company might have a minimum number of services in order to book or something, but it usually all works out. I think you need to tread lightly...you can say you'd rather everyone get your hired professionals...but if they don't want to or can't afford it...then I think you need to let it go. These things have a way of sorting themselves out over time. Just try to stay relaxed and flexible and know that things are very up in the air for people right now, so it's not as easy to make time and money commitments...even when we really want to! Question #5: Voicemail Mariah’s wedding was scheduled for March 21st, 2020. Her fiancé and she did a power wedding before the shelter in place went into effect. They rescheduled for June and then October. They have paid for an entire wedding. Her q’s: - When should I start negotiating/talking with my vendors about possible refunds? - Our vendors have been so flexible. But when should we call it? - How long should we wait before trying to schedule for 2022? Answer We know what you are going through! It sucks. Wedding professionals are all saying “reschedule don’t cancel.” But it’s hard, we have no idea when COVID precautions will be gone. If you are good with what you’ve done, in terms of the wedding, then call it. Don’t make this a stressful thing. In terms of asking for a refund, we understand why you would want a refund, know you are likely going to have to compromise with each individual wedding professional. Like you said, vendors have probably already spent the money. And you have also already spent that money. What if you pivoted, think outside the box, you have $7500 banked with that caterer, and think of a holiday, book for 2022 or something, and throw a big party? You don’t even have to think of it as wedding related. The catering company would probably love to do a big party for you in the future, rather than individual dinners. 2021 is definitely still a big grey-area. But we have to believe 2022 will be better! In the end, you do have the right to ask for a refund. But they have the right to not give you one as well. Be open to compromise! Links We Referenced alpinerings.com (https://alpinerings.com) - NEW promo code: BIGWEDDING15 unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)

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Bree Carroll is a Wedding and Event Specialist, Speaker and Coach who transforms spaces and hearts through authentic design and purposeful planning. With a background in civil engineering, Bree brings her brilliance of problem solving and eye for design to couples so they DESIGN a marriage even more beautiful than their wedding day. She has been featured in Military Spouse Magazine, Military Family Magazine and the B Collective. She is also the 2020 Armed Forces Insurance Air Force Spouse of the Year advocating for strong military marriages & is the Founder of Military Marriage Day. Big Takeaways Often, in military wedding planning, you don’t have control of the timeline. Timing can be based around deployments or trainings. Planners are so important. Most times, the active duty member cannot contribute as much in the process. Someone like Bree also has direct person experience in marrying an active duty member. That kind of guidance and assistance is invaluable. Set priorities, and be thoughtful of the other person right up front, even when they are not there. Know your partner can come into the wedding and feel seen. Working together is a KEY. Know the deployment schedule and plan the date off of that. Do your due diligence. If you are in the military, in a military family, you have people everywhere you go! The community is huge and welcoming. Success of the marriage is more important than success of the wedding! Be intentional, and set the foundation for a healthy, happy marriage. Show up in and for yourself before you try to show up in the marriage. Links We Referenced bcarrollevents.com (https://bcarrollevents.com) alpinerings.com (https://alpinerings.com) instagram.com/bcarrollevents (https://www.instagram.com/bcarrollevents/) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hearts-stripes/id1489210212 (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hearts-stripes/id1489210212) https://www.militarymarriageday.com (https://www.militarymarriageday.com) Quotes “I love being a guide for military couples.” - Bree “You have to learn how to talk to the other human you want to be married to. And it’s not always easy.” - Christy “Acknowledge that that person on the other line might be tired.” - Bree Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Bree Carroll.

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A crash course in wedding planning expectations. This is the episode that you ask your partner to listen to, if you believe they will not listen to any of the others. This is the episode that’s going to tell them all of the big, important parts they need to be prepared for. It’s not a how-to, it’s more of a What To Expect when You’re Planning. This episode was inspired by an email from our listener, Hannah! Big Takeaways * Beginning: Set yourself up for this project management task * Have a discussion about your priorities * Talk budget and CREATE one * Create your guest list * Create your planning timeline * Division of labor: There is a lot to do, try to keep it equal * Middle: Hire your venue and vendor team - Divide and conquer * Research * Narrow things down * Make decisions quickly based on priorities, budget, and personal connection/comfort level * Read through contracts carefully, ask questions, ask for revisions * Negotiate if the pricing is inflated ONLY * Be respectful * Pay deposits * Update budget spreadsheet * Achieve tasks on the timeline * Create a wedding website * Keep track of details, plans, forms etc * Write a ceremony script * End: Wedding day details planning - Create a wedding day schedule - Create a ceremony layout * Make final payments * There will be a bit of lull while wedding planning. This is why the timeline is so helpful. Enjoy the slowdowns when they pop up. Links We Referenced unboringwedding.com (https://unboringwedding.com) unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Quotes “Try not to be too sensitive when you’re having a conversation about budget. It has nothing to do with feelings, it has everything to do with finances.” - Michelle “Be respectful when you are negotiating. Don’t come on a high horse.” - Michelle “Take wedding planning breaks!” - Christy Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)

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Stop Playing the Comparison Game! The grass isn’t always greener and it’s really easy to go down the wedding rabbit hole online - this episode is about how to avoid the trappings of comparing your own wedding to all of your friends...and the entire platform of Pinterest. Let’s get real, people! Styled shoots are not weddings. And not everyone looks like a runway model. And your wedding should be a reflection of YOUR love - and a celebration of the big life decision you are making...it can look any way you want it to! Today we are joined by Margaux Fraise, wedding planner since 2011, lead planner and owner of Harmony Creative Studio. Big Takeaways Perfection is a myth! The best day ever is relative. Couples use social media to find wedding information and find messages from the old traditional guards and the new narrative with much more realistic viewpoints. It is important to know that the photos you see are lacking the full story and often set unrealistic expectations about what you can afford. Comparison is the thief of joy. When it comes to diving into social media, so many negative feelings can come along such as fear, jealousy, feelings of inferiority, FOMO and more! Avoid trend traps. Don’t be competitive when it comes to making wedding decisions. Once you hire your vendors, stop following the majority of that vendor type. After you have hired someone, you are still allowed to ask questions about their process. You are working together, and it’s important to be on the same page. Your guests are there to celebrate your love. They want an experience that is true to you as a couple! They want to have fun in your joy. Pinterest tips When you are first planning, pin your heart out. When you reach the time limit, step away from it for a couple of days. Then come back to it, delete 50% of the pins. Do this multiple times until you have about 30-50 images. Then share that info with your vendors. Once that is done, teach the algorithm the other things you are interested in so you don’t get bombarded with new wedding photos every time you open it up. Links We Referenced alpinerings.com (https://alpinerings.com) promo code: BIGWEDDING harmonycreativestudio.com (https://harmonycreativestudio.com) instagram.com/harmonycreative (https://www.instagram.com/harmonycreative/) zoom.us (https://zoom.us) theknot.com (https://www.theknot.com) apracticalwedding.com (https://apracticalwedding.com) womangettingmarried.com (https://www.womangettingmarried.com) Quotes “There is no such thing as perfect.” - Christy “Unfortunately, the people in our industry are still that old guard, just because they’ve been around for a long time.” - Margaux “If you are not a person who usually would follow 40 wedding planners, why are you doing that now?” - Margaux “Your guests are more concerned with your wedding feeling like you, feeling like it represents you the couple, than if it doesn’t have XYZ that your cousin had.” - Margaux Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Margaux Fraise.

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There is a lot of frustration and confusion when it comes to planning, replanning, postponing, changing, etc their weddings right now. You are not alone! At the top, we share some comments about our facebook group’s experiences during Covid-19. Question- About how much does a planner cost? Hi Ladies! First of all, I want to thank you so much for your podcast. My fiancé and I recently got engaged and I’ve been listening to your podcast nonstop to help answer all the questions I have! I listened to your episodes about budget and wedding planner but I am still unsure what to do about the type of wedding planning services I should choose and wanted some advice! We are having a smaller wedding, max about 85 people in Austin, Texas. We are planning for February/ March of 2022 and one venue for both ceremony and reception. Our budget range is $35,000 to $45,000(MAX) inclusive of a wedding planner. I’ve reached out to a few and for total planning package they are asking $5,000 and up. Given my budget, is that too much to allocate for a planner and still have our dream wedding? The alternative is to go with partial planning for $3,800. Please let me know your thoughts! Thank you! (new patron member!) Answer: For full planning, I definitely think you are going to see more 5k and up - like potentially way up. With your overall budget, I think you should be able to swing this, but look carefully at the contracts to see what the main differences are in terms of the service between a Full Planner and a Partial Planner. With your guest count, budget, and the fact that you have well over a year to plan, I am thinking you might be in a great situation for a Partial Planner. Consider specifically the main things you want out of a planner - if you want someone that is taking the full lead on things and absolutely running the show from start to finish on the wedding weekend, and is familiar with and communicating with the vendors all in those last 6 weeks leading up to the wedding day - both a full and partial planner would offer this in their package. You have a healthy budget and lots of time - I know there are many factors to consider, but I think you can lean towards a partial planning package. Look for a planner that has business insurance, has been doing this for a while, can show you an example of a wedding day timeline, outlines exactly what she would help you with in terms of hiring and negotiating with vendors, and is clear about how much communication can be expected since you will be working with her for more than a year. If you are prepared to trust the planner and the processes she lays out, hire her! $3800-5000 is the range for a professional, thorough partial planning package. And I think that price range works with the overall budget you have. Question: Inviting guests, cutting guests, re-scheduling, re-inviting I’m a bride who has rescheduled my Spring 2020 wedding twice now. We pushed our wedding to Fall 2020 and then again to Fall 2021 and will now have a 29 month engagement, oof. We aren’t in a huge rush to get married and having our people there is more important to us. However, I’m already having second thoughts about my guest list and want to add new friends and people from work and more importantly would like to cut people who we haven’t kept up with in the last year who I don’t foresee keeping up with in the next 15 months. I know in previous episodes you guys have said it’s tacky to uninvite people...but 29 month engagements aren’t the norm either. I’d love any advice on how to approach this. Cheers! Answer: All bets are off with rescheduling, re=planning, and invitation 'rules' at this point. Everyone is doing their best to navigate in this crazy time, so etiquette and norms just don't apply anymore. You have to figure out what works best for your specific circumstances, proceed with that in mind and try not to overthink it too much. When you rescheduled from Spring 2020 to Fall 2020 - you kept the original guestlist, I assume, and just let everyone know the new date? Now that you have pushed it to Fall 2021, have you sent out information with the new date/plans to everyone on the original guestlist, or did you just tell them that everything it TBD but that the 2020 wedding is not happening at all now? I think you can just scrub it at this point and start over. You don't 'owe' anyone an invite to the wedding. Things are changing so fast and relationships are growing and wilting...it's natural, I think. And everyone's plans are very much up in the air at this point -- if we've all learned anything, we've learned that! Save The Dates for the new 2021 wedding date should go out (and again, I say 'should' - but there are no rules! Be flexible!) approx 10-11 months out. So I suggest if you want to, you can tell all the guests that will roll over to the new invite list what the new date is and that details are coming later. And then 11 months out, send STDs to everyone on the guestlist. Having a wedding website would be good too - but if you initially gave all the guests a wedding website address, there may be some confusion if people you want to cut from the list go there for updates. Let me know what you think - short answer is, there are some logistics involved, but yes, you can reorganize your invite list! Links We Referenced: www.alpinerings.com (https://alpinerings.com) - use promo code BIGWEDDING for 15% sitewide! unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/)(and check out episode 150 for more info!) Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)

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Shafonne Myers is a media mogul, self-love coach for plus size brides, and visibility & online revenue strategist for wedding professionals from Temecula, California. She graduated with a biology and psychology degree but always had a love for weddings and helping people. She has built an internationally recognized, award-winning wedding publication for plus size brides, Pretty Pear Bride. Her wedding publication is the only one in the world and has solidified her as THE plus size bridal expert. She works privately with plus size brides looking to gain the confidence to show up on their wedding day and slay the aisle as the beautiful bride that they’ve always wanted to be but never felt they could. Big Takeaways Top Tips to Improve Your Self-Image Acknowledge the way you see yourself isn’t the way you want to see yourself. Create a plan and be consistent to reposition your negative thoughts into positive ones. Know there will be setbacks. Don’t let them derail you. Just pick up and keep moving. Detox your environment. Add positivity to your life Moderate your social media! Unfollow the people that make you feel worse. This will improve your self-image so quickly. Follow accounts that excite you! Links We Referenced https://prettypearbride.com (https://prettypearbride.com) https://www.instagram.com/prettypearbride/ (https://www.instagram.com/prettypearbride/) https://www.watters.com (https://www.watters.com) https://www.jlmcouture.com/Hayley-Paige (https://www.jlmcouture.com/Hayley-Paige) https://www.morilee.com/browse/bridal-wedding-dresses/plus-size-julietta/ (https://www.morilee.com/browse/bridal-wedding-dresses/plus-size-julietta/) https://www.instagram.com/tessholliday/ (https://www.instagram.com/tessholliday/) https://www.instagram.com/ashleygraham/ (https://www.instagram.com/ashleygraham/) https://www.instagram.com/huntermcgrady/ (https://www.instagram.com/huntermcgrady/) https://www.davidsbridal.com (https://www.davidsbridal.com) https://www.bindleandkeep.com (https://www.bindleandkeep.com) https://www.eloquii.com (https://www.eloquii.com) https://www.instagram.com/lizzobeeating/ (https://www.instagram.com/lizzobeeating/) https://www.instagram.com/girlwithcurves/ (https://www.instagram.com/girlwithcurves/) unboringofficiant.com (https://www.unboringofficiant.com) Quotes _"It’s not about what I was advertising, it’s about who I was advertising. And who I was advertising was me.” - Shafonne “We have to remember to love ourselves as much as we love the people in our life too.” - Christy “If something makes you feel like shit, you need to get rid of it.” - Shafonne “You do not have to settle.” - Shafonne _ Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Shafonne Myers.

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Our guest Denise Lillie O’Neal is the Owner and Lead Event Stylist of Denise Lillie Engagements which she founded in 2008. She is a professional full-time planner with over 20 years of government, corporate and wedding planning experience. Denise shares her journey into wedding planning, and her work in cultural wedding celebrations. Big Takeaways There are different international designers that will work with more local boutique salons. It takes some finagling, but if you are getting into that world it is worth looking into! When it comes to cultural weddings, educating yourself is the most important factor. You can plan extra little events that help with timing. If some of the family is always late, you can plan a cocktail hour that allows time for people to filter in. As the planner, you have to be willing to be steering the ship. Which sometimes means doing tough things. Spend time and energy to put together a team that is going to support you along the way. Understand things will go wrong, so you’re going to want to have those can help you recover. Links We Referenced instagram.com/deniselillieengagements (https://www.instagram.com/deniselillieengagements/) instagram.com/fusionnclusion https://www.facebook.com/pages/category/Wedding-Planning-Service/Denise-Lillie- Engagements-478098238891850/ (https://www.facebook.com/Denise-Lillie-Engagements-478098238891850/) Quotes “As far as cultural weddings, and being the planner for them, I tripped and fell into that.” - Denise “How the guest feels is a direct reflection of the family and how the family appreciates their community.” - Denise Special Guest: Denise Lillie O’Neal .

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Emily Sullivan is the owner of Emily Sullivan Event, a boutique wedding and event-planning firm based in New Orleans, LA, that specializes in celebrations throughout the Southeast. With a passion for entertaining, she uses her intuition and attention to details to customize each and every wedding experience for her clients. Emily joins us to today to share about Micro-Weddings and share tips, tricks, and takeaways for the process. Big Takeaways Micro Weddings are 50 or less guests. Depending on how you plan it, Micro Weddings are still going to be high quality parties. An Elopement is usually low budget, and much quicker. Not quite as much planning and day of events. Not all Micro Weddings are destination weddings, but Emily works with a lot of them. The budgets really range depending on what is important to you and what experience you want to have. Aspects of a Micro Wedding: - They still want good players involved - They’re flexible - They prioritize guest experience - They want custom touches - They value stress-free more than the traditional couple (shorter planning timeline) - Often multi-day events - all the guests at all the events - They can be done on a week day! Links We Referenced emilysullivanevents.com (https://www.emilysullivanevents.com) instagram.com/emilysullivanevents (https://www.instagram.com/emilysullivanevents/) https://www.aisleplanner.com/aisle-guide/articles/why-more-couples-are-opting-for-micro- weddings-in-2020 (https://www.aisleplanner.com/aisle-guide/articles/why-more-couples-are-opting-for-micro-weddings-in-2020) unboringofficiant.com (https://www.unboringofficiant.com) (For discount: thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com - click Partners and then Unboring Officiant) Quotes “It’s all about what’s important to you.” - Emily “If I was turning a corner, or coming out of the bathroom, I would want any person that we invited, if I were to run into them, to be delighted by that.” - Christy “Just create the event that you want to have, personally.” - Emily Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Emily Sullivan.

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Today, we are joined by Jaz, a Ugandan American bride, and her groom Rodney, a Haitian American, who are getting married in October. She reached out after episode 200 to open up a larger conversation about wedding planning while Black. Big Takeaways Suggestions from Jaz’s email: 1) Highlighting a current black bride and her planning - not removed from the state of events but not only about that. Black women are disproportionately affected by covid, we are trying to stay positive and constructive during this enraging national uprising, and we still have to sift through wedding industry racism. I’d be willing to share my story with my fiancé on the show if you’d be open to that. 2) Please consider racial inclusion form this point forward. It still doesn’t sit well that only two episodes touch upon race. And may seem small but some of your language is marginalizing. Talking to a stylist in one of your episodes about “skin color fabric” who’s skin color? Is my skin not “normal”? Or giving advice on makeup and hair and ignoring the nuance and extra labor that black brides have to face to get the service we deserve. It’s important and it ripples to brides and other industry professionals. Life after the uprisings, advice from Jaz: Approaching uninviting certain guests who aren’t true allies. 1) Completely cut friends out of my life and reevaluating others; when I look out on my wedding day certain people would be a painful reminder that they don’t fully see my humanity. 2) Considering breaking ties with vendors who aren’t true allies (this is the hot topic in bridal communities right now for brides across cultures/race as they uncover guests who don’t align with their values in light of everything going on.) 3) Reevaluating where I get my inspo (no longer supporting publications that ignore black brides) because it perpetuates the idea that our love doesn’t matter. Advice from Jaz, in retrospect, and for current brides at the beginning of wedding planning: 1) Lean on your fiancé/fiancee! Rodney handled typical groom stuff like finding our band and handling his attire. But he also completely handled our website, guest list management, engagement shoot (in Morocco!), multi leg honeymoon planning, room-blocks/venue, budget management (Aisle Planner pro) and both our wedding bands! Pretty much anything that isn’t planner related he’s running it so I can focus on overall vision, design, and vendor management. If he hadn’t been so hands on with all the things going on I don’t even know where we’d be. 2) Marie Kondo it - we made a pact if something annoyed us, we ditched it. Guestbook, fancy invite designers (Minted baby), registry etc. My guests keep saying “I wish we ditched XYZ too it was such a headache”. New couples you can do that now! 3) For COVID brides (because this may drag on for the foreseeable future!), pay attention and support vendors that give couples some grace. My venue has been incredible and flexible and open to any solutions we put out there. On the other side, I had a potential makeup artist who was recommended left and right but wouldn’t budge on a ridiculous client minimum of 10 different people getting services. For the foreseeable future, that’s not going to be a thing. I don’t think I have 10 guests total who would feel comfortable with getting a makeup service done this fall from a stranger. I personally think they’re killing their own prospect conversion and it sends a terrible signal to couples that they aren’t adjusting to the current state of affairs. 4) Shorter timeline brides (less than 9 months): you have to do your research and nail down a dream team much faster. I liked that because I loved checking things off but it can be a disaster if you don’t know what you want yet or don’t have clear budget or a planner helping. 5) Biggest learning from the short time window - try on and order a dress like yesterday if you want made to order (I’m sample size but so short that sample dresses weren’t even an option)! 6) Have real, tough conversations - ask questions. If a vendor is not receptive or responsive - they’re not the right vendor for you. Don’t feel like you can’t ‘ruffle feathers.' 7) You described to us how you felt almost forced to hire certain people and only after hiring them could really see where they stood. 8) Make vendors SHOW you not just give lip service. “If you’re really representative, tell me about 5-6 black couples and vendors you’ve worked in the past few years”. 9) Tap into the resources: Black Brides, Munaluchi, B Collective, Junebug black vendor round ups and reach out to vendors you like and ask who they like working with. It took me way too long to realize that black/non-black ally vendors will warn you about venues and professionals who won’t align with you. 10) Don’t be afraid to travel your professionals if you can. I spent more mindshare trying to find perfect LA vendors than what travel fees would have cost me. Other cities may have way more options and traveling them in from more diverse industry pools could help you build a dream team (particularly the planner)   Links We Referenced https://terricainc.com (https://terricainc.com) instagram.com/daniellebaum.mua (https://www.instagram.com/daniellebaum.mua/) https://www.blackbride.com (https://www.blackbride.com) https://www.munaluchibridal.com (https://www.munaluchibridal.com) https://thebcollective.co (https://thebcollective.co) https://junebugweddings.com (https://junebugweddings.com) Quotes “My wedding planning story has hit every snag you can imagine. [...] fired first wedding planner who was giving us only 20% effort, navigating covid’s affect on our wedding, moving cross country to LA, graduation, and now facing a reigniting racial uprising and constantly living with the pain and fear that every time my black fiancé goes out to Whole Foods he may not make it back home to me because of deep seated systematic societal hatred of our very existence.” - Jaz “I think in Covid, etiquette is out the window.” - Jaz Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)

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Today brings a special YAWA with an extra special guest! For more than 16 years, Los Angeles-native Matthew Rubino has been heavily involved in the city's DJ community with long-standing residencies at some of the city’s most successful venues including Cliftons, the Standard Downtown LA and Hotel Erwin in Venice where he has served as Music Director since 2011. He has also been programming the music at the Ace Hotel Los Angeles since 2016.  He has performed for the likes of Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin), Debbie Harry (Blondie), Snoop Dogg, Ice Cube, Anne Hathaway, Kim Kardashian, Leonardo DiCaprio, and a whole lot more (to name a few)... Matthew's experience runs deep. Matthew became a part of the Flashdance in 2014 and has since traveled the world over with the crew. In 2018 founder Michael Antonia asked Matthew to join him as co-owner of The Flashdance! Big Takeaways The Flashdance is hosting parties at your house. Through zoom, two DJs, a hype-man and more, a live online party is thrown. Check the affiliate page! Q&A Lauren Amanda: What are fun and not corny ways to release tables to the buffet? Matthew’s style is the enthusiastic minimalist. He tells people to have the wedding coordinator go up to the tables and release them one by one. It then doesn’t distract from the fun of the music and doesn’t add too much banter. What are their top 3 get everyone on the dance floor songs? Parties can vary. But in general, something in a familiar is always good. 1. Arethra Franklin - RESPECT 2. Prince - Let’s Go Crazy 3. Stevie Wonder - Sir Duke Stephen Lawrence: When planning to work with both a band and a DJ for the reception, what advice do you have? * Share the band’s set list with the DJ ahead of time, if possible. Especially if the band is doing the first part of the dancing. It’s nice to be able to plan a little bit. If possible, have the band break down while the DJ is starting. Keep the party going. Catherine Asikis: I’m greek. My fiancé is French Canadian. Our DJ, a great friend of ours, specializes in soca and Caribbean music. He’s very talented but I’m worried about how he will work with my cultural music because he hasn’t done a Greek wedding before. I am giving him a list of songs, but would it be appropriate to ask him to pre mix the Greek song portions of the evening so I can listen before the wedding day? Matthew says people come to them because they kind of already know their vibe. But since you are friends, it is a little different. For Matthew, he tells his clients to send him a list of songs (10-15, no more than 20) and he will play some but probably not all of them. Providing a window into what you are into is helpful, but you still have to let the DJs have creative control. When you are working with friends who are being generous, we encourage you to ask for less. Asking to hear something ahead of time is potentially more effort and work than you are paying for. Myriah Cohen Moses: How do we go about explaining to the DJ who probably takes pride in getting people on the dance floor, that we aren’t big dancers? Yes to the first traditional dances, maybe a few fast songs but my fiancé will definitely have reached his limit by then, as will his side of the family. I really don’t like an empty dance floor so I’m working with my venue to make it pretty small. People like to dance at a wedding! They just do. Unless it’s just a small group of people that you know never dance even at a party. If there is over 50 people, you’ll probably have a good amount of people that want to dance. At the end of the wedding, the groom or bride or someone will come up to the DJ and share how excited that people that they never see on the dance floor were out there going wild. Matthew’s tips for inciting a packed floor: a small dance floor, make sure the lights have dimmers, wedding crashers that you can hire to basically hype people up. Brenda Lira: To me, the music and dancing are the best part of weddings. So naturally now that I'm engaged, its the part I'm most excited about and most worried about. My fiancé is very white, like Scottish/Irish white. I am very Mexican, like a 1st generation Mexican-American. We both have key family members that will party to any type of music and we're really counting on them to help us to get the party started. Aside from looking for a bilingual DJ with similar experience, what should I be asking or looking for? Also I have 1 venue but 3 different spaces for ceremony, reception/dinner, and dancing. *Is it too much to ask a DJ to play music at all 3? It’s all well within walking distance. And should I expect an up-charge for this? Definitely expect an up-charge. Every company will have their own set of pricing. But in each area, they have to set up equipment and sound, so expect to pay more. Three different areas is definitely feasible! The ability to play a little bit of something for everyone there is key. The DJ should be preparing beforehand. Matthew builds playlists, but also knows how to read the crowd and pivot when it’s needed. Hire a DJ you vibe with! It makes a difference.  Amanda Watt: I have a ton of specific songs that I want to dance to at our reception, but I am worried if I request all of them to be added to our must-play playlist it will stifle our DJ. He’s amazing, and I totally trust him to keep our reception fun and our guests up and dancing at our reception...which is our number one priority, we want everyone to have a good time and have fun. How many songs do you recommend putting on a must-play playlist? And how many is too many? I don’t want to be a music Bridezilla!! (Reception will have about 5ish hours of dancing) Thank you!! Give them 10-15 songs, 20 at most. That gives the DJ a taste of what you’re into and gives plenty of room for creative freedom. Remember you’re hiring him because you like him and trust him! Links We Referenced theflashdance.com (https://www.theflashdance.com) sharkpig.com (http://sharkpig.com) instagram.com/theflashdancedjs (https://www.instagram.com/theflashdancedjs/) alpinerings.com (https://alpinerings.com) (Promo Code: BIGWEDDING for 15% off sitewide!) Quotes “There’s something to the idea of when you put effort into how you look, you do your hair, you put some clothes on, you know, you feel good.” - Matthew “It’s not for everybody, but I do love that there is this option. That we can pivot and react.” - Michelle “Everyone is afraid of a corny DJ.” - Christy “People don’t get weird when the lights are on super bright!” - Matthew “There are going to be different crescendos throughout the evening and day. The music at pre- ceremony is going to be different than the music at cocktail hour. It’s fun to play with things.” - Matthew “I want people, from the moment they hear me start playing music, to look at each other and be like, ‘dude we are in good hands tonight.’” - Matthew Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)

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Tanya Pushkine, The Vow Whisperer, NYC, joins today to talk all about crafting wedding vows. We meet with one COVID survivor and NYC Physician’s Assistant who is planning her own micro-wedding right now. Tanya is originally from Brussels, Belgium and started out in the acting profession. After graduating from Juilliard, she had a solid 10 year career, but gave it up to pursue the corporate route. Tanya ran Public Relations and Philanthropy departments for luxury brands until she made the brave move to leave it all behind last year and join the wedding industry. Tanya has been working virtually from the start working with couples all over the world to lovingly craft meaningful wedding vows and speak those words with intention and feeling at their wedding. Big Takeaways People want to write their own rules. These are difficult, uncertain times, our words of love and commitment to each other are so important. Having a guide to walk you through the writing process is a huge stress reliever. Think about the things that brought you together. You know the stories, but your guests probably don’t. Those stories make for wonderful vows. Links We Referenced www.ammarheaphoto.com (http://www.ammarheaphoto.com) thehoxton.com/new-york/williamsburg/hotels (https://thehoxton.com/new-york/williamsburg/hotels) thevowwhisperer.com (http://thevowwhisperer.com) https://projectcupid.cityofnewyork.us/app/cupid#/auth/login (https://projectcupid.cityofnewyork.us/app/cupid#/auth/login) 2 hours free consulting - The first 5 listeners who book Tanya for 3 hours will get and additional 2 hours for free! Reach out to Tanya directly - tanya@thevowwhisperer.com Quotes “That first meeting we decide what’s the vibe going to be like? Do you want people to be crying the entire time? Do you want this to be hysterically funny?” - Tanya “I don’t think vows should be people standing up there talking about a perfect relationship, because there is no such thing.” - Tanya “This is the one part of the wedding that does not cause more stress... I’m literally holding their hands from the very beginning up until the moment before the ceremony if they want.” - Tanya “Wonderful and beautiful things need to be held really close right now.” - Christy Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Tanya Pushkine.

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As cities and counties begin to explore re-opening, wedding venues must adhere to new safety standards. Today we are joined by a variety of folks in the wedding venue business to answer questions about these changes! Guests: * Kathryn Kalabookas - San Francisco, CA juliamorganballroom.com (https://juliamorganballroom.com) * David DiVincenzo - Detroit, MI planterraevents.com (https://planterraevents.com) * Lynsie Blau - Fort Worth, TX brikvenue.com (https://brikvenue.com) * Julie Garces - New York City, NY secondfloornyc.com (https://secondfloornyc.com) * Dixie Bagley - Rome, GA thefarmromega.com (https://www.thefarmromega.com) Big Takeaways Even though some places are re-opening, protocols are still limiting weddings from functioning fully. So the dates are still be postponed. Those that are happening require a lot of extra planning to meet social distancing standards and other requirements. Some places, like San Francisco, do not have a date for re-opening yet. Whereas, other places, like Michigan, are already lifting stay-at-home orders. In Fort Worth, TX, they can have weddings at 25% occupancy and have had a few ceremonies. Most venues are flexible with rescheduling and cancellations right now. If you are worried, then move the date! Don’t add the extra stress if you can help it. Links We Referenced juliamorganballroom.com (https://juliamorganballroom.com) planterraevents.com (https://planterraevents.com) brikvenue.com (https://brikvenue.com) secondfloornyc.com (https://secondfloornyc.com) thefarmromega.com (https://www.thefarmromega.com) Quotes “I have a lot who want that date, and they’re going to hold off and see how things progress and what we’re allowed to do.” - David “We’re being very flexible with the terms on our contract with cancellations and reschedules. But we are also trying to retain any business that clients feel comfortable keeping with us.” - Julie Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)

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We are not talking about weddings on this one. Today is different. It’s our 200th episode and we had planned to release an episode with an awesome DJ, but we don’t feel right about a ‘business as usual’ approach right now. The world is still in the grips of the COVID pandemic and now America is on fire due to yet another murder of a black man by a police officer. Mr. George Floyd was murdered on May 25, 2020. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all who love him and are mourning his loss. Protests are taking place in all 50 states and half of those states still have some shelter in place mandates. We asked ourselves, how we could be supportive and IF we should release new episodes about weddings while all of this is going on. We decided this week to use our platform to share perspectives and truths from two black women we have connected with through the podcast to share their thoughts with us and with you and they were extremely gracious to lend us some of their time and energy. We honor and value these two women's words, insights, advice and opinions. We hope you find these discussions as enlightening and profound and necessary as we do. Juli is a Social, Cultural Anthropologist and teaches courses on Race, U.S. Based State Violence, sexuality and criminalization. Juli is planning her wedding and has had to reschedule due to Covid. She is a huge supporter of TBWPP. Felicia is a listener in upstate NY where she is a Juvenile Justice Attorney. She wrote us an email about her venue search and that kicked off an episode we did called Race and Representation with Tamara Jones (ep 153) and we did a follow up with Felicia after her wedding (189). Quotes: “This is unpaid labor that is asked specifically of black women, alot of time black, queer, and trans people to do this heavy intellectual lifting that people feel like they can’t do or people, specifically white women, feel like they’re not prepared to do, or they’re uncomfortable to do.” - Juli “I do think social media is making it worse, because for 8 weeks, maybe 12 weeks, this is kind of all we had to socialize with. And now were are being inundated and traumatized and re-traumatized with so much stuff.” - Juli “I can imagine, you know, for people that don’t experience or have to think about racism every day, that it’s such a hard thing to grasp. And to sort of feel around and understand. Because I think when you are a subject of racism there is a habituation to it.” - Felicia “It’s sad almost in a way that these moments, in the last week, have been - it required those moments for the black body to be completely blameless for people to finally be like, ‘Oh. This shit happens.’ You have to be blameless in order to be seen. And that’s, you know, that’s incredibly difficult.” - Felicia Resources: Books: White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo Stamped from the Beginning - as well as How to be an Antiracist - both by Ibram X Kendi Social Media accounts to follow: @theConsciousKid @mireillecharper - 10 Steps to Non-Optical Allyship @rachel.cargle @privtoprog - links to petitions to sign as well @colorofchange - we have donated a third of our ad income for this month @blklivesmatter Articles: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/02/parenting/kids-books-racism-protest.html https://www.mic.com/articles/97900/10-simple-rules-for-being-a-non-racist-white-person We invite you to share your thoughts with us. WE ARE LISTENING What is happening? Are you ok? How can we help? email us: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or call us (415)723-1625 Another massive thank you to Juli and Felicia. Be safe everyone. We love you.

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Our monthly installment of You Ask, We Answer. Where we answer all sorts of questions from our listeners. Question 1: My partner and I got engaged in fall 2019 and planned on not having the wedding until sometime in 2021. Shelter in place has meant that we’ve finally had time to sit down and start wedding planning. We think we’ve found our venue for a September 2021 wedding but are hesitating on booking it due to concerns about how coronavirus might change weddings. Our venue manager has said that, should coronavirus still be a big concern on our wedding date, they have plans in place for seating fewer people per table, potentially having servers wear face masks and potentially even suggesting we tell guests to wear them to. Is this a trend you are seeing for post-coronavirus weddings? I was surprised to hear the venue say this and its making us rethink planning a wedding for next year or event having a big in person celebration at all. Answer 1: I think it's a good thing that your venue is already considering possible solutions and coming up with Plan B and C situations for weddings there. We are all dealing with so many unknowns and it's impossible to plan things for sure - that's just the frustrating reality. I have a couple clients who are working with venues that keep just saying "Well, we're moving ahead as planned and we'll see what happens!" This is not really a confidence-inspiring response. The decision to book or not book is yours, of course. And asking lots of questions before you book is really smart - the more info you have, the better! Review the contract carefully. The venue sounds like they are trying to protect themselves and their clients (and all guests) with ways to adjust/pivot rather than be forced to outright cancel. To answer your question - yes, lots of venues, caterers and wedding planners are outlining similar social-distancing measures just in case they will need them. Coronavirus is changing weddings. (Make sure that the cancelation/reschedule clause in the contract is solid and outlined clearly.) You and your partner probably need to talk about whether you would even want to have a wedding if everyone was required to wear a mask and stay 6' (ish) away from each other on the dancefloor. Small intimate weddings will feel a little less 'off' than big ones, in my opinion. The good news is...you are looking at 2021 not 2020! Question 2: Shortly after our engagement, my fiance and I drafted a 75-person guest list, mostly family and some friends, and agreed on a budget of $35k. [...] We decided to do a microwedding in our home state this fall with 25 guests including our immediate families, close friends, and one aunt (Aunt A) with whom I am very close and her family. We chose a microwedding because it will allow us to have the most important people present on our special day, we'll get lots of face time with them, and there will be much less planning. It is all about keeping our wedding relaxed, intimate, and enjoyable. I am really excited about our wedding; this feels right for us! I am feeling anxious, however, about the reactions from our extended families. My family is very conservative and both of my married cousins have done large, traditional, Christian weddings; my family assumes I will do the same and that they will all be invited. When they asked me about my wedding in February, it was before we realized we wanted something smaller, so they assumed they would be invited and I did not correct them - because I thought they would be! Also, though all aunts, uncles, and cousins will be invited to the celebration in their respective states, Aunt A and her family live out of state and are invited to the ceremony. I know the rest of my extended family may be hurt by this. Questions * How can I pitch our wedding plan to our extended families as inclusive rather than exclusive / graciously tell them they didn't make the cut for the wedding guest list? * Do I need to apologize for not inviting them to my wedding when I implied they would be? * What do I say when my extended family asks why Aunt A was invited and not them? * What are simple elements we could add to our celebration dinners in different states to make them feel unique and part of the wedding experience, rather than afterthoughts? * Is there any other advice you have on this topic??? Answer 2: One thing first - we have recorded an episode all about micro-weddings. It's been on the back burner as we try and get pandemic planning topics on the schedule too, but it will be released soon, so look for that! I love micro-weddings, fyi. I fully support your decision to host one and I think you're going to be very glad that you both followed your gut and heart on this. You and your fiancé agree that this is what you want and I think in order to really start to lean in and enjoy the process, and the wedding day itself, you do need to get it out there, so to speak. The sooner you let people know, the sooner this weight will be off your shoulders. I commend you for the considerate way you are approaching this! Remember, you won't be able to please everyone through this process and in sharing the decision, you and your partner - and your parents, ideally - all need to be on the same page and be firm and don't let anyone else's opinion about this derail you or make you doubt your decision. You are a caring person, so you are going to feel bad or even a little guilty if people put their feelings on you...but remember that you can only control your own decisions and feelings, no one else's. I think you can use the current situation with coronavirus and the way the wedding industry has been upended, that there are so many unknowns, priorities and 'essentials' are redefined in the face of the new reality...in a world where everything else is changing and many things are coming into focus (the good and the bad) - you two decided to change your wedding plans. You don't have to over-explain it to people, you don't owe anyone that. You do want to avoid discord down the line with family dynamics, but I think most of that will simmer away in time. Everyone is going through this now, plans are changing for us all. If you want to, I think it's appropriate to send out an email or even a video message to everyone that you want to tell - say something honest and transparent, but again, you don't need to apologize or go into too much detail. You can send this to your extended family that won't be getting invited. "So that's what we are going to do and we wanted to let everyone know. We're still getting married - we're just changing plans for how we are going to celebrate. We love you and we hope you're all well during this crazy time!" For those that are getting invited - you can talk to them each first - individually, I suggest a phone call or video chat. Tell them that you are going to have a smaller wedding now and that you want them to be a part of it. Let them know the date and location and that an invitation will be mailed in the summer. And it's ok to express personally that you know that this has the potential to be a decision that ripples through the family in different ways and you hope they can understand and be there for you. I know it's more complicated than I can answer to. Your parents are going to be key players in this, so I suggest you talk to them honestly and openly soon. I hope they support you whole heartedly. But if they have questions or express disappointment or try to convince you to change your mind, just stay the course. Time will help even things out...and no matter what, this is what you two want to do. And it's your love story. You get to tell it however you want. In terms of making people feel included...I just think you need to proceed with caution. People may not want to see a lot of photos of your wedding if they weren't invited, you know? So it may not feel as much like a full-family celebration in that way...and thats ok. I would say that it is not good etiquette to invite them to the showers/parties ahead of time - that may create some resentment. Again, everyone is cancelling things and rescheduling things and just being flexible right now. It's ok to just reach out and tell them what you two have decided to do. If you don't want to do an email or something like that, just call people individually. I think largely, your family will be understanding. And Aunt A is very special to you, she will be honored to be invited. I don't think you need to explain that choice to people, but if you do, just be honest and concise and move on to another topic of conversation. Question 3: Have any of you opted to not do hair and/or makeup for your wedding or someone’s you’re in? I really want to be pampered and pay to get it done but I also want to look natural and am worried about looking too done up. Answers: * Ellen: Many HMU can do natural looks. Plus if you are getting professional photos done, you want to have some layers on your face for that “glowing bride” kind of look. * Ashley: July wedding here, I am going for a natural look as well. I’m not hiring people to do mine, instead people in my circle are going to help me. My fiancé’s friend is a hair stylist so she’ll be doing my hair and my sister is really good at makeup so she’s just going to be doing mine. Although I know there are some makeup artists that will do natural looks! * Kathryn: I got a blow out and just did natural makeup myself and was very happy with the results! It was the look I was going for - looking like myself! * Hannah: I just got my makeup/hair done for my engagement photos, and WOAH. It was great being pampered, but I left looking way to dolled up, even though I requested a natural look. So if you do get it done, do a trial first, so you feel your absolute best on your big day! * Cori: Always request a trial and be very honest about what you like and don’t like. Look through the MUA’s instagram and their tagged photos to see how their work looks and go with someone who tends to have a more natural style. * Christy and Michelle: Sometimes as women, we think being direct means being rude. But it’s not! If you are having a trial, and you don’t love what you’re getting, tell them. If you choose not to hire your trial for the day of, that’s okay. Pay them for their time, and move on. It is worth it to find somebody you like and that makes you feel your best. Links We Referenced: https://www.alpinerings.com/discount/bigwedding Alpine Rings has been a sponsor through the quarantine and stay-at-home order and we can’t tell you how much that has meant to us! We are proud to partner with them and offer our listeners a discount on all orders. Use this link for 15% OFF site-wide! https://thrivecausemetics.com Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)

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Amy McCord Jones is a country girl from the plains of Oklahoma. She actually got her degree in Forensic Science before she realized she did not, in fact, want to pick maggots off of dead bodies for the rest of her life. So in her 20’s she worked as a chemist, picked her guitar down in Austin, had a corporate job, and finally fell into wedding planning in 2007. Since then, she has been a full-time planner and a self-taught florist and in 2014, she decided to start a little side- hustle for DIY brides called Flower Moxie for extra travel money and it took off from there. She joins us today to share about her business and give great tips on what you need to know with your wedding flowers! Big Takeaways Flower Moxie sells by the bunch. They don’t start breaking or cutting them apart, because it shortens the life of the flowers. When you receive them, you cut and prep them using their handy instructions. Top 10 Rules to DIY Wedding Flowers 1. Prep work. If you bungle the prep work, the design work will be so much harder. 2. Have help. Be specific and don’t be afraid to take people up on their offers. 3. If you’re going to DIY your flowers, you need to take some time off of work. Don’t try to fit all the work into one night. 4. Do a practice run with grocery store flowers. 5. Be flexible. 6. When it comes to needing or wanting a particular color of flower, have Design Master on hand. Sometimes you’ll get the flower in and it’s not right on what you want. That will save the day. 7. Don’t get locked in to one Pinterest picture. Flowers vary! Photos can be misleading, too. 8. Forage. 9. Think of random flower placements. Ie: around the cake, on catering tables, etc. 10. Have fun. Enjoy the event. Don’t focus on the little things that may go wrong. Links We Referenced https://flowermoxie.com (https://flowermoxie.com) - Promo code: BIGWEDDING for 10% off instagram.com/flowermoxie (https://www.instagram.com/flowermoxie/) alpinerings.com (https://alpinerings.com) - Promo code: BIGWEDDING for 15% off Quotes “I actually won’t really work with anybody that’s doing their own flowers. Unless, in writing, they say, ‘and we have help to place those flowers.’” - Michelle “[Brides] have no problem pulling it off, and doing a beautiful job, when you lay it out and give them those details.” - Amy “Educate yourself, because you’re taking on the role of being your own florist.” - Amy “Not everybody is a DIY person. If you aren’t going to enjoy this process, just don’t do it!” - Christy Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Amy McCord Jones.

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McKenzi Taylor is an elopement expert based in Las Vegas. She started her photography business in 2008, but ventured into her elopement coordination business -- Cactus Collective Weddings in 2017. In that time she’s helped well over 500 couples elope in Las Vegas and knows a good match for an elopement when she sees it. Big Takeaways An elopement, to McKenzi, is not what it used to be. It’s not all about running away and getting married in secret. An elopement can still be planned in advance and it can still have sweet touches, but it’s really an experience for you and your partner. If you have a few guests, that’s a great bonus, but it’s truly about an intimate setting, a beautiful ceremony, gorgeous scenery and professional photography (in Cactus Collective’s case). They are typically way less stressful than a traditional wedding. Much less in terms of design and decor as well. For Cactus Collective, elopement would be anything under 50 guests. A lot of types of couples are the “eloping type.” Couples that have been together a long time, they may be fed up with the stress of planning something more traditional, they may have no financial support in wedding expenses, they love travel, they want to spend their money on a home or an experience, they tend not to be religious, they are often maturer in age, and they might want it done fast! Vegas is uniquely suited to this service. Their marriage bureau is open nearly 24/7 and it takes about 15-20 minutes to get a license. International airport is in the city. It’s easy to get there. There is a plethora of entertainment options to do a wedding and honeymoon weekend in one fell swoop. If you do have guests, you don’t have to worry about entertaining them. There is no shortage of gorgeous views. Nevada has over 3 million acres of public lands and Vegas has some of the most scenic locations in the world within 30 minutes of the strip. McKenzi’s List - How To Know If Elopement Is Right For You! 1. You love the big outdoors A lot of what's trending for elopements or intimate wedding these days means being outdoors. Part of the appeal of eloping it being able to capture a scenic location with those close to you. So, while it's not the case for every elopement, I do think a majority of people should really consider whether they love the outdoors or not.   Can’t worry about raindrops, hair blowing... heels. Expect lighthearted and open minded approach. Flexible and understanding on the day “rain or shine” *2. You live for the here and now * Mobile signal, schmobile signal. You’re in a scenic location! With the person you love! Who cares if the cell signal is sketchy? You’re the kinda couple that thrives on the here and now. Live streaming or posting your wedding to Insta a second after it’s happened, hasn’t crossed your mind. Providing your photographers with a bunch of different photo in a bunch of different locations is not what an elopement is all about. You get one sunset ... 3. You trust your wedding company and their vendors Destination weddings are an adventure. A chance to experience the unexpected. Coming from out of town means you’ll see your wedding venue and all the parts of your special day once you get here. But that’s part of the thrill. When hiring your vendors, you trust them to make decisions on your behalf, knowing they’re experienced, are familiar with the area, and have your best interests at heart. Example: an orange flag for us is if a couple has a list of a million photo ops that they want.  Elopement isn’t a place for customization... no cake samples, no flower samples. 4. You realize planning a whole wedding day requires organization The ceremony is just one part of your special day. So, unless you’re hiring a personal wedding planner for a total hands-off experience, you understand there’s some wedding planning you need to handle. Your marriage license, transport, hair and makeup services, and booking a reception event (if you’re having one) are good examples. A lot of times couples plan their elopement ceremony but then forget to consider booking a restaurant for dinner etc. 5. You really don't want to invite many people (really). I often get folks that say "we are having a small wedding and have about 100 guests". This is not an elopement. It's not a micro wedding. Really consider if you want to cut your guest count down before you commit tot he idea of a destination wedding or elopement. This is a huge one. This is your special day. If you can’t get over the fact that an elopement is very few people, then you should not do one. If your 100 person guest list, can’t be paired down then an elopement isn’t for you. 6. You realize you still gotta have a budget. While the word "eloping" sounds like "budget" to some... you still have to have a budget if you want to have a party. Micro wedding doesn't mean cheap, it means having a super unique experience for a handful of guests. Traveling for an elopement and splurging for your day is still very important. 7. You want to throw a big party at "home" later. By now you have realized that you don't want to invite everyone, and you can't. My experience is that people are often more willing to come to a destination wedding than most people think. Decide to throw a great party at home a few months later Links We Referenced https://www.cactus-collective.com (https://www.cactus-collective.com) https://www.redrockcanyonlv.org (https://www.redrockcanyonlv.org) Quotes “They’re just ready to get married.” - McKenzi “Keep in mind that a lot of these remote places don’t have services. They might have special animals or creatures... Our locations, a lot of them, don’t have bathrooms.” - McKenzi “Always trust the folks that you are hiring. And the people they work with as well.” - McKenzi “If you do really want that special, intimate, personal, small getaway wedding, I think that it’s perfect for some people.” - McKenzi Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: McKenzi Taylor .

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By day, Caroline Fox is a Virginia attorney whose practice focuses on creative small- to medium-sized businesses. She assists both large and small companies incorporate, tighten up contracts, protect trademarks and copyrights, and resolve disputes. From votes of fellow attorneys, she has been named to Virginia's Legal Elite since 2016, and has been named a "Superlawyer Rising Star" for the past two years. In her "free time," Caroline founded the Engaged Legal Collective, an educational resource for wedding professionals to learn about the often convoluted legal aspects of their business. She travels internationally to speak with event professionals about contracts, client disputes, and protecting their brands. The law industry is “seeing a watershed moment for a lot of contract law which will be interesting.” This is a monumental time and there is nowhere to pull from in the past in terms of reference to help people with contractual language right now. On this episode, Caroline joins Michelle to help unpack contract law for wedding professionals and couples waiting to wed. Big Takeaways A force majeure clause is a clause in a contract that excuses a delay or excuses performance completely. But it has to be written into the contract, and it must describe what can fall into that category. It often plays in with other pieces of the contract, such as non-refundable deposit, etc. It is not all-inclusive. The event industry as a whole has exploded. On both the vendor and couple side, a lot of money is being invested. Wedding professionals are starting to come back to their clients with amendments to their contracts. When a lot of changes are going to be needed, a cancellation is a much better option to move forward. The best option if things are staying pretty much the same is an amendment. Things to look for in an amendment or new contract - What is the reschedule date? - What is included in this reschedule? - Make sure you are getting something similar. - Be specific as possible. - You can ask for things to be rewritten or revised! - Make sure it references the date of the first contract and the new dates. - What payments are being applied where? - Everyone who signed first contract needs to sign the new one - Make sure postponements are addressed. If you have to reschedule your rescheduling, it’s important to be covered. Depending on the way it’s written, you should be able to postpone again. If you are confused or struggling through this at all, it would be smart to connect with a lawyer. You don’t need a partner level lawyer to read through these contracts. You can go with a lower level associate, who understands contracts, to get you into a place where you can feel comfortable and confident. Caroline's firm charges $50-100 per page flat fee) Links We Referenced www.engagedlegal.com (https://www.engagedlegal.com) - Mostly works with the wedding vendor side www.cjfoxlaw.com (https://cjfoxlaw.com) small businesses, etc www.alpinerings.com (https://alpinerings.com) - 15% off with promo code BIGWEDDING https://www.allureconsulting.com/virtual (https://www.allureconsulting.com/virtual) Quotes “The clearer you can be in your contract, the better service you are doing not only to your clients, but to yourself.” - Caroline “Make sure you are being specific and clear about the hours you are putting in.” - Caroline “I feel like whether it’s working with an attorney, or service at a restaurant, or being at a hotel, or working with your wedding planner, you need to feel like you’re being taken care of. Period.” - Michelle “Everyone is in a very emotional, traumatized state right now.” - Caroline “We just have to get through this really tough time. And we do that by being human, being emotionally intelligent, listening to each other, and being flexible.” - Caroline Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Caroline Fox.

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Just because we cannot gather in groups, does not mean the desire to marry one another has disappeared. Countless couples all over the world have been forced to postpone their wedding celebrations, but they are choosing to marry one another regardless because after all, that is the whole point isn’t it? To be married! On this month's edition of You Ask, We Answer, we have an exciting announcement we want to share on how we're leading the way on Virtual Weddings. ANNOUNCEMENT TIME: We are teaming up and offering a Virtual Wedding Planning Package to our listeners; a more professionally planned out and elevated experience to our Full Wedding Planning Services which includes: Wedding Planner We will meet via web Conference Consultations: You show me your home and I help you figure out the best location for the ceremony. We discuss timing, number of guests, marriage license, technical set-up, lighting, decor and I put together a planning timeline for you. Live streaming is handled by us. You don’t have to worry about any of the potential technical issues that could come up during your virtual wedding. With us, you have a “person” to set up the live stream, ensure it runs smoothly, troubleshoot any issues and answer questions from your guests. Not only that, but we will moderate, mute guests during the ceremony, and overall make sure things are running smoothly. We will also make sure your guests have a phone number they can call and your behind the scenes tech person will help them as needed. We design a personalized digital invitation for you to send out to your guests via email. Once we decide on a color palette, we will have fresh flowers delivered to your door so you can carry a bouquet or wear a boutonniere and have a beautiful centerpiece in the background and for your table. A box of tech: Lighting is important as are a few other items which we will ship to you with a return label to send it all back after the wedding. Rehearsal: We will have a rehearsal of your ceremony and test all of the technical aspects the day before to ensure we are all set on your wedding day. Visit for more details: http://www.allureconsulting.com/virtual (http://www.allureconsulting.com/virtual) Now onto this month's YAWA! YAWA Question #1: I’m a 10.10.20 bride and am getting a lot of “are you still having your wedding?” questions. What are the best way to respond to this? I have been telling those that we won’t make a call to postpone until August and we are planning as usual. But is there something better to say? Answer #1: What you are saying is exactly right. Just letting them know you don’t know yet, and giving that deadline of when you will decide is great. It’s also nice for them to have something to look forward to in the fall. Airlines and hotels are being flexible. And you may want to start looking at a Plan B as well.   Question #2: Any update on whether it’s possible to Zoom/FaceTime your ceremony? Answer #2: In the state of New York, a law has been passed that you can be married online. The certificate can be signed virtually! It does depend on the state and their current laws. Side note: Christy is ordained, and would love to perform ceremonies if she available.   Question #3: We’re doing the “elopement” this year and then the big wedding next year... What things should we include in our ceremony this year to make it special (because this is when we are actually becoming wed) and what types of things do we save for the big wedding next year, when we can celebrate with our family? We want that to be special too. Thanks you guys! Answer #3: Keep the “elopement” ceremony a little more simple. If it is going to be virtual, have it recorded. You could play that during your ceremony next year! If there is a loved one who has passed away that you would have honored at a wedding, maybe in the background have a picture or have something that they gave you on your person during the ceremony. Maybe call your parents and let them in on the timing. And these choices you can also talk about for the later wedding.   Question #4: Do you ladies have any recommendations on how to start looking for a wedding dress during these crazy times? Answer #4: It’s obviously not ideal at the moment. But! All the online department stores that carry bridal gowns will ship to your house so you can try them on and then they allow you to ship back for free. Some companies are hosting virtual tours that begin with the bride to talk about your interests, your body type, what you’re looking for, etc. and they help you narrow down some choices and send them to you for try on.   Question #5: Our wedding was originally on 5/9/2020. Our venue called me in March saying we had to reschedule our wedding & gave us a list of dates to choose from. We chose the latest date they offered, which was 9/27/2020. I think the reason they didn’t offer any dates in 2021 was because they still wanted to have at least SOME weddings in 2020 first. We bought Change the Dates, but now I don’t know if I should send them out or wait, because of so much uncertainty of when the quarantine/pandemic will end, and if we have to change our date AGAIN. Should I still send out our Change the Dates or wait a little longer? So many people keep asking us about our wedding, and I answer them as they go, but I don’t have everyone’s emails to send them an update, so we figured it would be easier to mail everyone send the dates. And I can’t really call 300 people to update because I’m a night shift ER nurse & am exhausted by the time it’s my day off with everything going on. We’ve already updated our website with the new date, but not sure if we should move forward on sending out our newly bought Change the Dates yet in case things change again in the future. Thoughts? Answer #5: Yes, send them now! Hopefully the wedding website is on these Change The Dates somewhere. Or you can add an insert that says to make sure to keep an eye on the website because everything is changing quickly these days. But definitely send them!   Question #6: Is it okay to skip the paper invites and opt for email. Wedding is in July and not really feeling like wasting money if we’re going to have to postpone. Answer #6: Every choice you make in planning a wedding is about making it your way. If it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it! If you want to send it, send it! You can still make a beautiful email if that is the way you go.   Question #7: Hey Michelle and Kristy. My name is Brandy. My fiancé and I made the difficult decision to postpone our wedding until next year. We still plan on getting married on our original date (7/3/20) and do our celebration on our 1st anniversary. So along with our postponement went our pre-wedding festivities - bridal shower, bachelorette/bachelor weekends. Although the most important part is still taking place, it sucks that we don’t get to celebrate it with our family and friends. I was looking forward to honoring my bridal party by showering them with gifts to thank them for all their planning and hard work. Do you have any suggestions for something special I can do for them during this time of social distancing? Thanks keeping me up to date on all things wedding and doing it with pizzazz! Here’s to one more year of planning! Answer #7: It’s a great opportunity to reevaluate and make new plans. There is no reason not to have a virtual bachelorette/bachelor party. You can have things delivered to each other, food/ drinks, gift certificates for when things do open back up. You could have a post-wedding bachelorette! There are no rules. Take a weekend away with your friends after the wedding. Why not? You can mail/ship a gift to them and put a note that says “Do not open until...” your scheduled virtual party! You can still have these parties online and make them super special. Links We Referenced: Package Details: Here's our new package link: https://rentmywedding.com/Home-Wedding (https://rentmywedding.com/Home-Wedding) Here's your 20% off promo code: BIGWEDDING Promo code is valid on ANY rentals, now through 5/31/20. Enter promo code in the "Reference Box" at checkout Pay later! Reserve with just 25% down, and pay the rest later. Payment plans available. Cancel anytime! If your plans change, cancel anytime before shipping for a full refund. First 10 couples to book a virtual wedding with Michelle and Jason get 20% off! dressanomalie.com (https://www.dressanomalie.com) alpinerings.com (https://alpinerings.com) (Use promo code BIGWEDDING for 15% off sitewide) Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Jason Mitchell Kahn.

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Jason Mitchell Kahn has been planning weddings for ten years now. It began while he was running all of the events at the iconic Soho House New York and became known as their in- house wedding guru. When same-sex marriage first became legal in New York he pitched his idea and got a book deal to publish the first wedding planner for gay grooms aptly named Getting Groomed. From there he went to Shiraz Events overseeing their wedding division in New York, Los Angeles and London. He is now in the third year of having his own business Jason Mitchell Kahn and Co. Additionally, he serves as the Director of Weddings and Editorial for Men’s Vows. Jason is also a playwright and known for bringing his story-telling lens to his events. You can read a handful of his creative ideas on his latest blog post “Tips for a Successful Virtual Wedding.” Today he joins us to share some of those valuable tips! We are also joined by real life quarantine wedding couples - Jim and Kim, and Julia and Jordan. And wedding photographer David Perlman. Big Takeaways There are tech sides to a zoom wedding! It’s still important to think and prepare beforehand. Logistically, consider if you can get your wedding license during the shut down. If not, know if that is an important factor to your virtual ceremony. Couple Jim and Kim had their license before the shut down, and they decided they still will do an in-person ceremony in December. There is a lot of room to get creative. There are no precedents for this, make it yours. Give yourself some room to be sad and upset. Don’t think you have to adjust immediately. Feelings are part of this process. If you are interested in getting married in this way during the quarantine, but cannot get your hand on a marriage license, contact your county office. It is possible to change laws and restrictions if enough people ask for the licenses to become available. The most important parts of the recipe are the officiant, the couple, and the zoom link. Make the day different than other days. Order nice takeout, get out the good champagne, do something to have a genuine celebration. Links We Referenced https://jasonmitchellkahn.com/blog (https://jasonmitchellkahn.com/blog) instagram.com/mrjasonmitchell (https://www.instagram.com/mrjasonmitchell/) facebook.com/jasonmitchellkahnandco (https://www.facebook.com/JasonMitchellKahnandCo/) https://www.davidperlmanphotography.com (https://www.davidperlmanphotography.com) instagram.com/davidperlmanphotography (https://www.instagram.com/davidperlmanphotography/) facebook.com/davidperlmanphotography (https://www.facebook.com/DavidPerlmanPhotography/) unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) thrivecausemetics.com/bigwedding (https://thrivecausemetics.com/collections/best-sellers-1?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=bigwedding) (Code: BIGWEDDING at checkout for 15% off) Quotes “In some ways, more people are attending than would have at in person weddings, because no one is restricted by travel or anything like that.” - Jason “It’s not as hard as you would think to do, just practice!” - Jim “Be very humble with the people you are working with, because they will work a lot harder if you actually treat them like a human being.” - Jim “I got all dressed up in my suit. I got all ready for their wedding, at my home. And I took pictures of my computer screen.” - David Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Jason Mitchell Kahn.

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Mollie is a journalist and Greg is a web developer. Turning tradition on its head, Mollie proposed to Greg. They join us today to talk about their relationship, what made her decide to propose, and share their insights on the whole process. Big Takeaways Historically, men have proposed to women first because marriage used to be very transactional. The purpose was to say “I can provide for you.” Giving their word through a ring. Because men made more money than women, and there was the story about men being more afraid of commitment, this became the norm. We emphasize over and over again about how your wedding is your day. Breaking traditions to make everything match who you are. If you want traditional, that’s also okay! There is more and more wiggle room and freedom available. Benevolent sexism can take away a woman’s agency. In terms of marriage proposals, it comes from a place of love, which can make it hard to call out or differentiate. Awareness is important. It can be harmful and hurtful. When it came to finding a planner, Mollie was sure to send the article about her proposal. It didn’t originally occur to her that a planner would have a lot of opinions about their choices. So it did add to their list of must-haves when searching. There are a lot of great planners that are excited to get to work with something fresh and unique. Q: What’s the biggest mistake couples make when planning their wedding? A: Christy: Not hiring a month-of/day-of planner. Michelle: Not making a budget and not understanding it. And letting family members get to you. Fun fact: Elizabeth Warren proposed to her now husband. Links We Referenced https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/12/13/he-said-yes-why-arent-more-women-proposing-their-boyfriends/ (https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/12/13/he-said-yes-why-arent-more-women-proposing-their-boyfriends/) Photo courtesy of: http://www.steveboxall.com/zerog (http://www.steveboxall.com/zerog) https://www.instagram.com/mbloudoff/ (https://www.instagram.com/mbloudoff/) https://thrivecausemetics.com/bigwedding (https://thrivecausemetics.com/collections/best-sellers-1?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=bigwedding) (Use code: BIGWEDDING for 15% off) Quotes “This is probably one of the worst times in our lives together, and this feels right somehow.” - Michelle “If this doesn’t happen, I’m turning into him right here, in the aisle of the plane, and proposing that way. Because I can’t take the pressure anymore.” - Mollie “There is no one right way to make things happen.” - Mollie Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)

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Today we are joined by Landis Bejar, LMHC - a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in New York City and the founder of AisleTalk: Consultation & Therapy. AisleTalk is a therapy and coaching practice devoted to working with brides and grooms who are experiencing stress during the process of planning their wedding – a moment in time that, from the outside can seem fabulous and euphoric, but on the inside can often bring up concerns related to partnership, stress management, mood changes, body image, family strain, and much more. Landis helps her clients deal with stress so that the planning does not take the excitement out of the process, nor the joy from the wedding day. Landis shares her insights on how to quarantine in a small space with a partner, and how to handle asking for space. Big Takeaways: We are constantly adjusting to new things. Cut yourself some slack if you are having emotional reactions. It’s strenuous and hard to constantly shift. You perhaps are seeing your partner in a more anxious place than ever before. There is a lot of “figuring out as you go” needing to happen. Boundaries are important. Things like monitoring how much news is being watched, and keeping a schedule can really help. If you know what you need, ask your partner for it. This is a time to learn to ask for help, and give it more freely. Distancing/making space for yourself in this situation can be very hard. A lot of couples are stuck in small apartments. Humor is helpful! Nothing about this is normal or expected. It’s not normal to spend this much time with anyone. Remember that we spend alone time, usually, so many hours of the day. If you need to initiate it, it is not personal, it’s just asking for what you need. Be physical, get your exercise even if it’s inside. Connect with love ones! The virtual connections can be hard, but it feels great when you actually do it. It is stressful to think about having to change plans. But it is such a relief as soon as your reschedule. The pressure is off. Lean into your wedding planner here. They are there to make the whole event go smoothly for you. Everything is unpredictable but they can help so much. Just keep going! The goal right now is making it to the other side. If you are looking for a therapist, give yourself time to adjust to them. Bring questions to them. Most therapists give a 15 min consult for free to see if you are a match. Links We Referenced: aisle-talk.com (https://www.aisle-talk.com) netflixparty.com (https://www.netflixparty.com) mywellbeing.com (https://mywellbeing.com)(mostly local to NY) zencare.co (https://zencare.co) psychologytoday.com (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us) (Great for small cities, can be vast in a big city) instagram.com/aisletalk (https://www.instagram.com/aisletalk/) Quotes: “We are feeling so much. And on top of that we have these secondary emotions about how we should be feeling.” - Landis “Yes we can offer certain things that have been helpful to us but at the end of the day, the best way we will find is asking the question ‘How can I support you right now?’” - Landis “Communicate with your body the difference between sleep mode to work mode.” - Landis “Humans do not like ambiguity in general.” - Landis Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Landis Bejar, LMHC.

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With so many amazing guests on their way for upcoming shows we wanted to take moment and host a learning episode! On today's show we break down the whole topic of Save The Dates and get into the details. In light of having to reschedule, and communicate much more with your wedding guests, we know the topic is on a lot of people’s minds. Big Takeaways When you should send them: * Destination weddings * Just moved and having the wedding away from old friends * Classic advice says send them out to every guest as soon as you pick your date * Include the dates, and maybe the town (or venue if you’ve locked it down), there is no other information needed. * Keep it simple. * Send between 12-16 weeks before wedding. * Invitations 8-10 weeks. * Do not send Save The Dates to your B-List!! They aren't a necessary element of your wedding planning. * If you are having a weekday wedding, add the day of the week on the Save The Date. It helps so they know they need to take time off. * Even if your wedding website isn’t complete, still put it on the Save The Date. It can grow as you book and change things. It’s a great reference for your guests to have. Even if it says “information coming soon.” Q&As Q. Do you need to send “re-save the dates” for coronavirus couples who postponed? A.No, you do not need to. If you are type-A, you probably have everyone’s email. Just send them an email. Don’t waste the money if you don’t have to. If you haven’t sent them yet, you can add an insert, so they aren’t wasted. Q. Is it insensitive to send STDs in the middle of a global pandemic? (This is for a later wedding) A. No, we don’t think it’s insensitive. If anything it’s a nice reminder that the future will come eventually. It’s something to look forward to. Q. Can you touch on “change the dates”? And if it’s tacky to add a new RSVP in it? I don’t want to go full blown invitation again. A. If you don’t want to do another full invitation, just make a card that tells the website for all the info. No need to do another invitation. Get the info out. Whatever works for your and your guests. Q. We sent an Save The Date, but now we want to postpone. We printed our official invites. Thoughts on sending with an X on the date with a TBD? A. That’s a great idea! It’s okay to do what you need to do. And adding a little humor to it is great. Q. Is it ever okay to send Save The Date's to some but not all your guests? As in the people you really want there who would need to travel but not to the ones you’re hoping will say no. A. If you send someone a Save The Date you have to send them an invitation. If you don’t send a Save The Date, you can still send an invitation. Keep track on your spreadsheet! Q. Can we put extra information on the Save The Date and not use our website or would it look too busy? For example, since we have a lot of out of state guests, we’d like to mention that it’s a kids free wedding and want the Save The Dates to state that so they have time to find childcare? Or should we just put that information on the website and hope they figure it out? A. If you’re really worried about, then it’s definitely okay to put it on there. “We look forward to celebrating with you at this adults only event.” If you’re worried someone will claim ignorance, then make it black and white. If you think people will check out the website and take it to heart, then don’t do it! But communication can be powerful! Q. When you send save the dates with a link to your wedding website, what info should you have on your wedding website? I just have photos and travel info. Should I include FAQs? Is it worth including wedding weekend events if times aren't set in stone yet? A. Yes include website. Even if you only have very basic info, that’s okay! As you go, put more information up. FAQs are great and cute, but they don’t have to be included. You can put the events with a TBD on time. Q. I'm still creating my save the dates, but I'm not sure what would be the best option. I like the idea of a video invitation for my modern savvy friends and family and paper invitations for our grandparents, parents and older folks. Should I just do one method because I may be spending too much time thinking about this or is mixing it up worth it? Is mixing it up something common and doable? A. If you’re a person that knows how to do that, they’re so cute and fun and a great way to get information out. However, grandma might not get it. For an older, less tech-savvy person, you can send them a postcard or a handwritten letter. It’s fine to do both as long as you have the capacity to! Quotes “Inevitably, what seems like a simple task, all of you are probably now learning in your wedding planning experience, it’s actually broken down into several steps and many questions and pending answers, and that is why we wedding planners are in business.” - Michelle “We’ve had to very much consider what is “essential” in this world. What are the essential groceries you need? What are the essential jobs?... Weddings are not considered essential.” - Christy “You just can’t make a decision until you absolutely have to.” - Christy Links We Referenced zola.com/bigwedding (https://welcome.zola.com/allproducts_alldevices_50/?pkey=bigweddingpod&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=bigwedding&) hellonoemie.com/bigwedding2020 (https://www.hellonoemie.com/?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Offline&utm_campaign=Bigwedding&utm_content=Q4_2019/) $50 off first purchase! Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)

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It’s our favorite time of the month! YAWA! Question 1: To Postpone or Not To Postpone April is definitely a time to reschedule. Unless you were talking about a small elopement, of course. Venues are taking things in order of priority (ie April first, May next, etc.) We’re seeing April and May are pretty much entirely rescheduling because of city by city laws and restrictions changing. Work with your planner! * Look at THREE plan b dates. * Everything right now is sort of week by week, day by day. * It is favorable to reschedule within the calendar year. But if you can’t handle that, its okay! * Prioritizing mental health is very crucial. Question #2: Circular Ceremony Layout I would like a circular/(or more realistically, horseshoe because acoustics) seating in the ceremony space for a few reasons but I'm not sure of logistics. I like the symbolism of the circle (unity, surrounded by love etc.) I also do not want a central aisle. We have no interest in one set of family/friends sitting on one side and the other set being opposite, I'm also not really interested in walking up a middle aisle. I've attached some pictures of potential venues below, physical space is not an issue, as the two venues are both circular spaces so organizing seats isn't an issue, it's more how the couple will get there! I was wondering if either of you had ever planned a wedding where the couple getting married were in the ceremony space first, and then had their guests come in, or where the couple came in from a different point; on the sides, right opposite the guests etc. Any thoughts you have would be amazing, keep up the good work, love the show! Answer #2: Hi! I love the circular ceremony idea and I have done it with clients - a few different ways. With only 50 guests, you have lots of options! Couple standing at altar when guests enter - this could work well and it's a cool thing because you and your partner get to make eye contact with everyone as THEY enter down the aisle, in a way. I think this would be best if there is one main door that could remain closed until the guests are all outside and then open sort of dramatically. You both and the officiant would be in the room - smiling and then guests would find their seats. You two entering from different sides at the same time could work too - but keep in mind that guests (and the photographer) sometimes don't know which way to look in this case. It works best if the two entrances are both at the front of the ceremony space - rather than both of you walking down side aisles at the same time. Also - if the space allows - there is a way to spiral in to the altar. I love this effect because you and your partner both get to walk past every single guest. The chairs are arranged in a spiral and the couple gets married right in the middle of it. So your loved ones are surrounding you. I've also seen the full circles work when there are some guests seated (you arrange these chairs in a large circle and you get married in the middle, maybe in a concentric circle of low flowers. This works well if the rest of the guests stand behind the seated guests. So - it really is best with small guest counts and short-n-sweet ceremonies - something to keep in mind. Question #3: Guest List Too Big For Venue I desperately need advice! We fell in love with a venue and I just cannot see our big day anywhere else. It fits 200 banquet style no dance floor. I have such a large family and we’d have to trim the guest list by at least 40 people to get the dance floor. My FH thinks it’s easy just trim that off my dads side. I get along very well with my dads side BUT they live so far away we don’t see each other or barely talk but when we do see each other everyone has a blast! My dad doesn’t want anyone to be cut( he is pitching in for part of the wedding). How do I invite some first cousins and not the others or is it easier to just switch to our backup venue!! I just don’t know how to trim about 40 people! Answer #3: Is it possible - at your venue - to have 200 seated for dinner - with some of those tables on the dance floor, and then after dinner, to physically scoot those tables off and kind of push them together with the other surrounding tables so that you can dance? I've seen this work before, even in a packed ballroom. People want to dance and they are happy to get up and either help scoot or move out of the way so the waitstaff can literally pick up the tables and move them out a bit. Typically, this works best when 3-4 tales have to go on, or partially on, the dance floor. And at those tables, you can make sure to seat (assigned tables/seats is best for this scenario) - your wedding party and maybe some younger generation tables that won't feel imposed upon by a little move after dinner is over. You can even tell a few point people at each table what is going on, so they can help facilitate the move-process. Chairs can all be moved to the very outer corners of the room, if not taken away all together. Have you asked your venue about this already? Might be a better solution than having to cut the guest list so much! Links We Referenced https://www.alwaysyoursevents.com/blog/2020/weddingplanningandcovid19 (https://www.alwaysyoursevents.com/blog/2020/weddingplanningandcovid19) alpinerings.com (https://alpinerings.com) promo code: BIGWEDDING for 15% off sitewide unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast)

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Today, Real Couple Felicia and Carl join us to share about their best advice for weddings. They had a non-traditional, family oriented, modern-feminist wedding in the woods. Big Takeaways 1. Figure out early where you want to spend money and where you don't, and be reasonable about what you can do yourself (and who will help you.) * For us, the most important things were the food, the music (a band), and the venue. That’s what got most of our coin and where we allowed ourselves more flexibility. We ended up DIY'ing our floral table arrangements and other floral elements by working with a local farm and florist (holy crap you can get SO MANY flower petals for $30!). The day before the wedding is when I learned that Carl had a past life as a floral arranger and was amazing. As compared with my brother, charged with being my 'brother of honor', who was far more interested in getting good Instagram stories at the venue than puncturing floral foam. Womp! 2. Do what you want (unless it actually harms or hurts someone else.) Unless you're 'just absolute the worst'--you likely don't get to be selfish and demand that you be humored or have things your way. Your wedding day is that day. If those extra-as-hell monogrammed gift tags give you life and someone has an opposing opinion--GO GET YOUR LIFE! You're not going to please everyone, no one is going to actually going remember your damn gift tags, so you may as well please yourself. Go back--and you must go back- - to being a less self-centered human being when the wedding is over. 3. Invite who makes you feel good. It doesn't matter how long or briefly you've known them. And absolutely don't invite anyone who has the great potential to rob you of joy--again, it doesn't matter how long or short you've known them. Although there was great consternation over it, Carl didn't invite one of his sisters due to some seriously bad blood and hurt in the past and present. Ultimately, his choice came down to our wedding being a new beginning for him and his desire to step into that life supported and loved. 4. Expect that things you can't possibly anticipate will go wrong. When it happens, let that shit go. Case(s) in point: Carl left his dress shirt at our apartment (let's not judge, but instead, thank god for friends who can pick locks); the original cake did not survive the 1.5-hour trip (and for me who makes cakes, whoo boy), and perhaps, I only remembered to buy makeup the day before. . . and then forgot to bring half of it with me. (To be fair to myself, I don't really wear makeup, so it's not usually part of my packing process). But the disasters make the story so much better! 5. If you're not sure what to do with leftover wedding stuff, make someone else's day. * We ended up taking all our arrangements to local DV shelters and hospitals. They were all so happy, and it made me remember how such simple things can mean the world to someone else. I sold all of the leftover votives, table numbers, lanterns, and other decor via the NextDoor app and on Craigslist and dumped the money into holiday gifts. 6. If you do something unexpected with your name, prepare for having to explain yourself. Man societal expectations are a bitch. Carl and I both added each other's last name to our middle names. So he is now Carl Francis Reid Blackwood and I am now FeliciaAlexis Blackwood Reid--so still Mr. Blackwood and Ms. Reid. The number of people who, off the bat, called Mrs. Blackwood and did not approve that I hadn't gone to custom was surprising. Also surprising was the number of people after the wedding who were suddenly interested in the occupancy of my uterus (especially Carl's mom, who keeps remarking: "Aren't you getting old?") Still and intentionally vacant y'all-- woop! Quotes “I think people undervalue the idea of kindness.” - Felicia “Something will go wrong. And I started with that idea.” - Felicia “We wanted something that felt like an extension of a dinner party at our house, not something that was someone else’s idea of what we should be doing.” - Felicia “It was an overarching really pleasant experience all the way through.” - Carl Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Carl & Felicia Reid.

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We address this pandemic from our perspective inside the wedding industry and working with our own clients currently. We have heard from so many listeners with questions about what to about their own weddings - whether it’s in 3 weeks or 9 months. We know you all have questions and this is such a confusing time - especially because the news and the ‘rules’ are changing every day. Today’s episode is a bonus - a little different than our regular format. We are discussing something extremely timely - the Corona Virus and how weddings are affected. We are joined by Kathryn Kalabokes, Director of Weddings and Social Events at Julia Morgan Ballroom. We address this pandemic from our perspective inside the wedding industry and working with our own clients currently. We have heard from so many listeners with questions about what to about their own weddings - whether it’s in 3 weeks or 9 months. We know you all have questions and this is such a confusing time - especially because the news and the ‘rules’ are changing every day. We are going to mention websites that have the latest information about the virus and the measures our country is taking. We will include links to all sources mentioned in our show notes on the website and we will include the links/names of the guests that we are talking to, or that we have gotten quotes from. We are not experts in the medical field or in emergency preparation! We are all in this together - we are all doing the best we can with the information we have. That being said - with the podcast as a platform, Big Takeaways: Postponing is the number one thing. Most vendors are being very flexible and understanding. If you don’t have a planner, the absolute first thing you need to do is call your venue. Keep a paper trail, as well. Email is important so you know exactly what you agreed. After the venue, trickle down to the other vendors. Don’t forget to contact your sales rep at hotels for your room blocks. Everyone is feeling the pain of this crisis. Cough or sneeze into your elbow! Don’t shake hands. Wash your hands for 20-30 seconds aka two rounds of “happy birthday.” Sanitize and disinfect your phone, light switches, and doorknobs! Don’t panic. Look up your local county health website and have the emergency number handy. From Irina of Allé Travel (Episode 142) (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/dont-forget-the-honeymoon) - Airlines are being very accommodating. - The only issue is hold times for calls. Delta reported over 6 hours wait times. - All airlines are trying to make it easier to make changes online. - Try calling at off hours, if you need to reach immediately. - If it’s not urgent, hold off a couple days. The big need is getting Americans back to America. - When it comes to hotels, the best bet is rescheduling, not cancelling. - Your guests love to be communicated with. Even if you don’t have the specifics yet, share what you do know. It will be valuable to keep everyone in the loop as much as you can. Insurance: - It won’t help to add insurance now. It’s sort of like a pre-existing condition. - If you already have it, look over what’s covered! Links We Referenced: https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2020/03/12/coronavirus-live-updates/ (https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2020/03/12/coronavirus-live-updates/) https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/12/world/europe/trump-travel-ban-coronavirus.html (https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/12/world/europe/trump-travel-ban-coronavirus.html) Where to go for the most up-to-date information https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/summary.html (https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/summary.html) https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019 (https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019) https://www.npr.org/tags/804916759/covid-19 (https://www.npr.org/tags/804916759/covid-19) http://alletravel.co https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/03/coronavirus-what-does-social-distancing-mean/607927/ (https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/03/coronavirus-what-does-social-distancing-mean/607927/) Quotes “Some people are in dire straits here and wish that their biggest problem is a private special event... It’s the problems we cannot solve with money that are real problems.” - Christy “As long as it’s in writing, and everyone’s on board, I think that’s really the way for everyone to feel okay moving forward.” - Kathryn “One of the best ways we can show love to the people we care about is to step back and to stay away. In many cases that takes courage, and it takes speaking out over these social norms that dictate that we should be polite and we should be together and we should celebrate and gather. Really seriously consider whether now is a joyful time to gather family members for a wedding celebration.” - Carolyn Cannuscio (from The Atlantic article) “Is it worth having a wedding when you can’t hug your grandparents that came to that wedding?” - Christy “Close your eyes and visualize the day that you want. It’s about the feelings and the little moments... We’re always encouraging you to remember the reason why you’re getting married, and if this is going to put a cloud over that and make that experience that you wanted to create for yourself and your guests impossible, it’s okay to reschedule, postpone, and put value on that experience you want to have.” - Christy “Try to stay positive. Don’t hug each other. We’re sending you virtual hugs.” - Michelle Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Kathryn Kalabokes.

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Petronella Lugemwa is an international wedding and marriage proposal photographer, speaker, writer and storyteller based out of the New York area who specializes in helping multicultural couples celebrate their love in a modern way and believes that what makes you different makes you beautiful. As a wedding photographer, Petronella sees it all and has put together a list for us all about how she sees couples spending money on elements at the wedding day that really don’t ‘matter’ to guests. We’re talking about impact, priorities, and putting the money where it really matters on your wedding day. Big Takeaways Top ways couples spend money that doesn’t matter to guests 1. Investing in decor that’s trendy that will “look” good for Instagram or social media but doesn't mean anything to you. * This list includes: attire, shoes, decor, wedding traditions like garter toss, diamond encrusted cake cutting knife engraved with your name. * Decide why you’re doing something. Don’t do something because you feel like you’re supposed to do it. There is no “must have." * What does it mean to you as an individual vs couple? * Story: Sweetheart tables with all the things - initials, candlesticks, signage, florals, sparkly linens = Innate ability to tell when something is intentional. * Guests want to see you happy. If you're doing something purely out of obligation and it doesn’t mean much to you, it’ll show in your photos & guest experience. * Who are the most important people: family, out of town guests traveled far, grandparents, who might not be there much longer. * How can I make the most important people feel special 2. Too much Cocktail Hour or Dessert Food * A room overflowing with cocktail food means no one will eat dinner & cake. * A room with too many desserts but most of your guests aren’t into dessert or because it’s a Sunday wedding, guests head out soon after speeches, so the food goes to waste. * Think about who your guests are & when you’re having wedding - what makes sense in terms of food. * What day & time of day - will my guests enjoy this & actually eat this? 3. Ceremony Chair cover upgrades * Invest in comfortable, good chairs that look good on their own Most ceremony are short Ceremony chair cover takes away overall decor. 4. Favors: A grab bag filled with a hodgepodge of random favors chosen because that’s you feel like you need to put together * 1. a. Story: I’m sorry our favors were so cheap vs expensive favors like some friend’s wedding - * Robes & lotion & makeup * Think about your guests * Story: rum cake = ties back to person’s culture * Better to have 1 intentionally curated, thoughtful favor OR nothing 5. A specific shot list of specific Pinterest images curated for “the Gram” * Curate a list of 25 Pinterest images in 3 different locations that end up making guests waiting for hours during cocktail hour for you to show up * Your guests won’t care that you have * Most of my clients love the images that happen organically * So much can’t control on day, it’s hard to say I want this specific Pinterest image * Decide if it’s worth it to you to get ready several hours earlier or the day after the wedding * to do a shot list of 25 Pinterest images in different locations before the wedding 6. Ambient Lighting vs Uplighting vs Upgraded Laser Lighting from DJ * My recommendation is always continuous, clean, white or yellow lighting on the dance floor * and colored lighting as uplighting on the sides vs on dance floor * Opt for clean, natural light from lighting professionals = colored lighting can look cool for * reception dancing but during first dance * Story: couple hired lighting team who put up blue lights but her look was all white * Make sure lighting will not overpower decor and color or theme * Story: colored spot lighting during first dance * Guests: the DJ & MC make the wedding celebration fun. If the entertainment isn’t great, strobe lighting isn’t going to make the wedding more fun for the guests. 7. Drone Footage * Sounds cool but it’s only worth it if the location is spectacular or has scenery. If you’re getting married in a building or barn * Upgrading to have 1 - 2min of drone won’t make guests go wow * STORY: Make sure you have permission to fly a drone. Might upgrade to get a drone and * then find out you need a permit or your location is within 10miles of an airport, so the drone won’t even go up. 8. Fancy Escort Cards * Most are immediately looked at & thrown away * Invest in an overall escort card display vs each card * Use the escort cards to educate the guests about who you are, make it into a game to network with other guests or share info a charitable cause * If it’s a fancy escort card, have the escort card do more than just find a seat 9. Luxe Stationery for Invitations for all guests * Go all out on stationary for your family and a select key guests * For everyone else, opt for stationery that conveys the vibe of your wedding but doesn’t have all the bells & whistles of the luxe, upgraded stationary = most guests won't notice Note that additional details like wax seal, on the stationery will cost extra shipping but it’s worth it to create a keepsake for family and yourself, maybe not for those who won’t appreciate it as much 10. Guest List * Are the people attending your wedding important to you and your families * Tricky subject: inviting people out of obligation could mean an awkward guest experience * Guests can impact the vibe of the wedding & your experience of your wedding - choose wisely Key Takeaways: What You Should Do 1. Create a list of all the things & then agree on the 3 things matters to you and focus on that. Be intentional about a few things Figure out who’s coming to the wedding & create an experience caters to them vs “Gram or what supposed to do How to make most important people feel special What the Guest Experience about Entertainment a. Entertainment b. Food c. Flow of the day d. Most important people Getting to spend time with you on dance floor e. Have visuals that bring to life the story of your day through photography & videography f. Hire a team armed with information about what matters to you & who will stand up for you knowing what matters too you hired with your best g. Invest in Your Own Planner & Designer vs Venue Coordinator Venue coordinator is there to ensure day flows according to what’s best for the venue Links we referenced: instagram.com/petronellaphotography (https://www.instagram.com/petronellaphotography/) bypetronella.com (https://bypetronella.com/) Quotes: “Please don’t do chair covers.” - Michelle “Spend your money where you want, but just pick something that makes sense for you.” - Petronella “A venue coordinator is not a planner. They are there to make sure the venue’s needs are met.” - Petronella “I really think people should just have fun, be themselves, be authentic. You don’t have to do anything.” - Petronella “If you’re having fun, your photos will be wonderful.” - Christy Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/ (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Petronella Lugemwa .

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Micaela joins Michelle today to share about her experiences, dress shopping tips, how to shop if you don’t have the money to buy couture and more. Big Takeaways How early is too early to buy gown? Micaela says believes there isn’t really a time too soon to start looking. Depending on where you are getting your look from, you have to account for alteration time. If you are buying off the rack, buy something that fits. You can always take something in, but you won’t be able to make it much larger. You don’t want to deal with a broken zipper or popped button day-of. It’s hard to find a transitional time in the evening for outfit changes. Work with the planner to figure out your timing so the events are not interrupted and the bride and groom can just keep enjoying the evening. When you don’t have the money to spend on couture — some simple ways to step up your outfit game: - Come prepared to your dress fitting, bring all the right undergarments and shoes, etc. - Invest in your alterations. - Hair and make-up really elevate any look. Do a trial ahead of time, fall in love with the whole look and feel. Links we referenced unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding instagram.com/micaela https://maison-de-mode.com https://micaelaerlanger.com/bridal/ https://micaelaerlanger.com/ Quotes “I believe that walking down the aisle is the closest thing to walking down the red carpet.” - Micaela “Sometimes those dresses are just so special, they inspire people.” - Micaela “If your dress doesn’t fit, it’s not going to look expensive.” - Micaela Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/) INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Plus Ad alpinerings.com (https://alpinerings.com/) (15% off sitewide!) Special Guest: Micaela Erlanger.

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Our guest today is Kim Forrest, Senior Editor at WeddingWire. She has been writing about wedding soft over a decade, specializing in etiquette and planning advice. She has previously written for brides.com, Brides Local Magazine, and Washingtonian Bride & Groom, and has been quoted as a wedding expert in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Huffington Post, Refinery29, and more. Big Takeaways Have conversations about the type of wedding you want to have. Big or small? What season? Style? What venue? In the beginning, these can just be light and fun conversations to have to start putting together what you want in the future. And you can make sure you and your future spouse and family are all on the same page. Take your time. And put on a united front with your partner. Write it down, take notes so you can look back at them later. When it comes to the registry, you are not limited to the normal kitchen, bathroom, bedroom goods. You can register for camping equipment, pet supplies, and really anything that feels personal and unique to you. If you’re not going to use it, don’t register for it. People want to give you gifts that mean something to you. If there is a trend doesn’t feel relevant or personal to you, you don’t have to do it. Your wedding is your big day, and there is no need to fit into the popular wedding designs. There are ways to implement certain trends while still fitting your tastes, too. For instance, sustainability is a big deal to many couples, and is something to take into consideration while planning the day. After the basic first conversations, the first thing to do is find the wedding venue. After that is nailed down, you can start to think about the vendors, the designs, and all of the bits and pieces that pull the day together. Most of your guests decide if they are coming to your wedding before the save the date even arrives in the mail. Your wedding is your day, and the big goal is to make the day personal and special for you and YOUR guests. It’s okay to not follow all the traditions. If you don’t want to be put on display for a first dance, then don’t do it! Do what feels right to you. There is no rule book anymore. Links we referenced weddingwire.com facebook.com/weddingwire (https://www.facebook.com/WeddingWire/) twitter.com/weddingwire (https://twitter.com/weddingwire)instagram.com/weddingwire (https://www.instagram.com/weddingwire/) instagram.com/kimforrestrichards (https://www.instagram.com/kimforrestrichards/) Quotes “When you get into the weeds of wedding planning, you can look back at the things you discussed at first to see what was really important to you.” - Kim “You know your style, you know your taste, we’ve figured out your priorities, we know your budget. So, let’s make this short and sweet. We don’t have to reach out to every single photographer.” - Michelle “I love a good set of personalized vows.” - Kim “I love this idea of National Wedding Planning Day, because it’s a great way to jumpstart your wedding planning experience and really take ownership of it and have fun.” - Kim Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast/) BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast (https://twitter.com/TBWPpodcast) PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Kim Forrest.

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Our monthly installment of You Ask, We Answer. Where we answer all sorts of questions from our listeners. TOPIC #1 - NOAHS VENUE CLOSING Company in deep debt, couples left with no returned deposit and no wedding venue. * What to do if this happens with your venue? * Don’t despair. Keep moving forward. You can do it. It’s hard and it sucks, but we * have heard the industry is coming together to help as much as they can! * Contracts * You have to read the contracts VERY carefully. Especially brick and mortar. * Hire professionals that have contracts that would pass the basic contract test. Ask * lots of questions, pass it by your planner, get clear about what it means! * Insurance * Wedding day insurance would help! But bankruptcy is bankruptcy. * Upfront costs (one couple put $17000 down for Noahs which included a bar tab and upgraded linens. They will not get that money back) * This isn’t normal. Most venues do not require such a large deposit. Read the fine print! Ask lots of questions.   Question #1: Booze or No Booze? *  I have been LOVING binging the podcast! I'm about 100 episodes in and still going (I'm a college student so time for listening is limited). I'm a young bride and my family hasn't had any recent weddings so mine is the first one in a while! Our wedding isn't until May 2021, and we are on a tight budget. My fiancé and I have been struggling with a decision regarding alcohol. My family is extremely conservative and don't like alcohol, and his family couldn't care less (they might drink some). We both think it would be nice to have a signature cocktail or something simple, but have reservations due to my family's judgement. I don't want to feel scrutinized on my wedding day for having a drink. My parents are contributing a lot to the wedding and wouldn't be too happy to have alcohol there. However, our friends/ bridal party would definitely be let down with a dry wedding. We're also a little concerned our friends may go a little crazy since we're the first wedding of the group. We don't want anyone getting really drunk at the reception, and wold like to save that type of energy for the after-party. So, how can we please all of our guests and ourselves as the couple? Our friends who like to "have fun", and my family who hates the thought of alcohol? Any guidance would be helpful, we're just torn! Thank you for all the help you've provided me thus far on the podcast! Answer: Totally understand your conundrum. What are the hours of your reception? If you are having an after party and are concerned about guests getting 'too crazy' at the reception, I think you can definitely keep it short -- like only an hour of open dancing, rather than 2+. During this time, I think you can compromise with the alcohol. I think the best way to do this is to have only 1-2 options and both to be light cocktails. For example, a mimosa has less alcohol content than a vodka tonic. Having bartenders that have been instructed to only serve the cocktails mixed (no one can order a mimosa- hold-the-juice) and to not pour super-strong, and to not pour for guests that appear tipsy or rowdy. Or - if you want to have a long reception, just cut the bar after an hour or drinking post- dinner. It’s there, it’s free, its limited choice, and then it's just closed. Keep in mind that beer/wine receptions usually have less drunk people than a reception that serves hard alcohol. I agree with you - if I was in college or my twenties and I went to a friends wedding, it would be a bummer if it was dry. I've been to plenty of dry weddings - but they were all of friends that I knew were very religious. OR - a brunch wedding. Brunch weddings are far more chill and you can do an espresso bar or smoothie bar in place of a bar-bar. And you can plan a bomb after party at a beer garden or pub or something afterwards - and you and all your friends can celebrate more there, without you feeling like you are disrespecting your parents. Question #2 (in 4 parts): A few Loose Ends as Planning winds down Question 1: What do you do when there isn't much left to do?? I feel like I'm on high- alert everyday on what I could maybe be forgetting! I feel like I hear a lot about beginning stages and big decisions of wedding planning, but not the end stages of it. Answer 1: * It might make you feel better to just reach out to every key vendor and check in - review details and get them to confirm. It always makes me feel more confident to get those emails back that say - "Yep! We are all good. You don't owe a balance, we'll be there at 9am!" You can also list out the items that you will be bringing - and pack them up, label the boxes, keep a key list so that no matter who transports and sets up - they'll know exactly what to do. Also - put together a little personal emergency kit for yourself. Question 2: I don't know where we should start cutting the cake; from the top tier?... from the middle? Who is supposed to cut and serve it? Can I ask a bartender to do this or would I be an asshole for asking? Answer 2: You need to ask your cake baker exactly where to cut the cake (GREAT question!) - if you have a planner - she will walk you through that part during the reception. If not, make sure cake cutting is in the timeline and the caterer, DJ and photographer are all aware of it. Then when you go to cut the cake - you just cut a small sliver-triangle - usually off the bottom or second from the bottom piece - you only cut into the one tier - you don't cut deep enough that it goes into two tiers. Then you put that piece on a plate - each take a bite - get the photos and the caterer should swoop in and take the cake 'to the back' to slice and plate it. In some cases, this is done on a big table in front of guests, but it is executed quickly and carefully by a professional. IF you don't have a caterer there to do it - you will need to have assigned someone this task ahead of time. Maybe have them watch a youtube video or something! Always feel free to ask your cake baker these questions too! Question 3: Tips on focusing brain away from the wedding? I want to avoid being a bride that cries because it is all over and currently I can barely focus on work because so close to day-of. Answer 3: It’s a big thing that has been taking up a lot of space in your mind for months now and when it's over - it will feel like a relief and a fever dream and you will probably feel a little sad about it! You may not know what to do with all that time and energy. It's ok - it's normal. Focus on things like photo-album making and printing, nesting with the new gifts you have, writing thank you notes, and planning the future with your partner now that the wedding is over. Remember - a wedding is just a party. For real. The marriage is the important part and the exciting part! It takes work and attention and openness. Be present to experience all of that. Question 4: Day-of nerves and jitters: How to avoid? What to do? (P.S. It isn’t the marriage, it’s the wedding) Answer 4: * As far as day-of nerves...try to design a day (like all the hours before the ceremony actually starts) that you know is enjoyable and relaxing for you. There are factors that will go into that - crating that day. Envision those hours now and put plans in place that will help you make that a reality. What do you like to do on your BEST days? The days you are most excited about. The days you forget about your diet, your computer, your obligations...and just enjoy them. It could be as simple as starting out the day with your favorite donut and a latte from your favorite 'special' place. Making sure you have the music you like in the getting-ready room. Telling your best friends and mom to not let you XYZ, or to make sure that you sit and eat, or to ensure that your cousin Jill doesn't come in and be all negative like she always does. You know the elements of what makes a day great for you...try to put things in place ahead of time and then on the day of - remember to just roll with it, take deep breaths, laugh, smile and move through it all. It goes by fast and it should be FUN! Links we referenced https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/companies/wedding-chain-noahs-event-venue- (https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2020/02/12/weddings-chain-noahs-event-venue-closes-bankruptcy/4735184002/) closes-abruptly-stranding-up-to-7500-brides-and-grooms/ar-BBZVdSr?li=BBnbfcN  zola.com/bigwedding (https://welcome.zola.com/allproducts_alldevices_50/?pkey=bigweddingpod&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=bigwedding&)use promo code: SAVE50  unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast *

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Jennifer and Kimberly both come to the event world from creative industries. Jennifer studied fashion in NYC at the Fashion Institute of NY, freelanced in Miami doing film and television and eventually returned to Michigan to join Kimberly in launching a company for someone else. When that didn’t quite pan out, the two sisters started their own event firm. Kimberly studied technical theatre design and production. After college she toured for several seasons with the Big Apple Circus as well as Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey in various roles from electrician and spotlight operator to props master and rigger. After leaving the road she came back to Detroit and fell into the event industry. She and Jennifer started their business in 2002 with a heavy focus on corporate events. They reinvented their business in 2004 and Something Fabulous was born as a Boutique Event Management & Design with Your Moment In Mind. They join us today to talk about all the events surrounding the wedding! Big Takeaways Consider what memory you want to make, what your wishes are for the events, what your timeline is and what your budget it is. All these are important factors in designing the experiences. Rehearsal dinners don’t have to be in a restaurant. It’s more about the connection and the celebration of the couple. Big ideas that don’t get to make it into the wedding can be done in the rehearsal. Keep the rehearsal simple, anyone involved in the wedding ceremony. The rehearsal dinner can have more people, but you definitely don’t have to invite every out of town guest. It’s a personal choice and a budget choice. Though an invitation is not required, you can send one. You can invite digitally! It’s a great way to save money. Welcome drinks should be considered more of a happy hour and less of a party. There are options for how it’s paid for. Some couples choose to contribute a certain amount of money, or give an optional itinerary and have guests meet at a bar, or they sometimes to choose to pay for the whole thing. Really there is no right away to do the welcome drinks. When it comes to brunch, determine, first, who is coming! Some people want to pack up and head straight home the next day, and some are staying. They are usually very casual, and relaxed. And can be a rolling event, like the food is out and the guests can pop in and out when they want to within the hours of the brunch. Q&As: Question: I do have a question about after-wedding brunch! We have set up 2 hotel wedding blocks, under a 10-minute drive from each other. One is a historic hotel downtown, and the other is a newer Marriott on the edge of town (we live in Roanoke, VA so traffic isn't really a concern). My family is staying in the historic hotel, and my fiancé’s family is staying at the Marriott. How do we decide where to have brunch the day after? The historic hotel has a nicer restaurant, but you have to pay for parking. Would it be better to arrange brunch at a third location that's more "neutral"? Plus, we're not even sure where my fiancé and I are staying yet. My parents have offered to pay for brunch and recommended we do whatever is simpler for us, but I'm really not sure what that is. I would love any advice you can give! Thanks for everything!! Answer: This is a matter of personal preference, but we would ask - what do you hope to experience at this brunch? Is it for guest convenience and hospitality after the big day? Who will actually attend? You may find that one family will be leaving and only have a couple of guests actually show up at the brunch. This could help you determine which location is best. We find that many times the after wedding brunch is a chance for the bride and groom to visit with guests in a way that the pre-wedding events don’t allow. Think about what the actual needs and requirements of the guest and couples experience are and then choose your final plans based on that. If you are thoughtful in going about making your plans you can’t really go wrong. Question: Because our wedding is a Friday night, we were planning on doing a winery day on Saturday for anyone and everyone. How would we go about inviting? On the wedding website? In a card in the invite? We already need to have people RSVP for the wedding, have select people RSVP for a separate reception we are holding in a different state a month later since a lot of family can't come across the country, and it seems insane to try to ask people to also RSVP for a winery day so we could reserve space. Do websites even do that many options for an RSVP? (We're using Zola bc duh) Answer: You can have an rsvp designed to list the different events and have people select which ones they’ll attend. This isn’t uncommon as people often host multiple events over a weekend and need counts to make final arrangements. Websites can provide details and further explanation around the reasons for the extra responses. Question: We got a really great deal with our venue where they included a rehearsal dinner and day after brunch with our wedding! But, we have a lot of guests coming from out of state (my future hubby is from Missouri, and most of his family lives there, but the wedding is in NY where I am from) and we really want to show everyone a good time in the days leading up to the wedding! We live about an hour away from our wedding venue, but would like to host some wedding weekend activities in our home city. One thing that is confusing us a bit is where we should reserve hotel blocks/suggest our guests stay- in our city where we plan to host pre- wedding things and where we will be until the wedding, or an hour away in a hotel closer to the venue? What can we do to make this more convenient for everybody? Also, our wedding is on a Sunday, but what is the best way to communicate that we plan to have events with our guests on the Friday and Saturday before the wedding?   Answer: This one I tricky because you really need to think about the wedding memory you’re trying to make. The sight seeing and experience sharing is great, but people are coming for a wedding so they are probably expecting to spend time with family and reconnect. This can be counter to the sightseeing experience you’re envisioning. What does a good time look like to both of you? What types of things are available to do closer to your venue? What suggestions can your venue give you for entertaining guests? It’s important to get clear on the guest experience and your own memory making. You might find it’s best to design a weekend experience around the venue and local opportunities that will give guests a chance to relax, enjoy each other and your company. Your home city could be highlighted through details and story telling. And you could always welcome guests to come back for a visit and experience the places you love on a more individual scale. Shuttling back and forth can get tricky and moving hotels can be logistically difficult as well. The most important aspect of this weekend is your wedding and all of the details that go along with rehearsals, ceremony, reception and get-away brunch. You might find it best to keep your travel to a minimum and the logistics a little bit simpler for guests. Links we referenced unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) somethingfab.com (http://somethingfab.com/) facebook.com/somethingfabulous (https://www.facebook.com/SomethingFabulous/) instagram.com/somethingfabulous (https://www.instagram.com/somethingfabulous/) pinterest.com/somethingfab1/something-fabulous-designs (https://www.pinterest.com/somethingfab1/something-fabulous-designs/) zola.com/bigwedding (https://welcome.zola.com/allproducts_alldevices_50/?pkey=bigweddingpod&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=bigwedding&) Quotes “We always start with the question, ‘what is the memory you want to make?’” - Kimberly “People love when you take them to places that you love.” - Christy “Remember the wedding is the main event of the weekend.” - Christy Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guests: Jennifer Charles and Kimberly Allen.

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Dixie Bagley is owner of The Farm in Rome, Georgia, a European farm estate set in the north west Georgia mountains. The venue focuses on working with couples who want to give their guests a relaxed but thoughtful countryside weekend wedding experience. In addition to The Sweet Bar Bakery, Dixie Events, and Venue Coach with The Bridal Society. Having previously been in the wedding industry for 10 years, Dixie has experienced a lot when it comes to weddings – from the highs of seeing a surprise proposal to the lows of no-show vendors and fighting wedding parties. She can pin a boutonniere in record time, believes that the wedding planning process should be both fun and stress-free! She loves the educational aspect of wedding planning and aims to make you and your guests feel both comfortable and welcome. She is a master of multi tasking and wants to do a cartwheel every time a couple days I Do! Dixie holds a degree in exercise science from the American Council of Exercise and is Certified Wedding Planner & Venue Coach for The Bridal Society. When sheʼs not hosting weddings at The Farm she and her husband, Lee, an avid flyer, and dogs can be found flying in their plane, bouncing from Montana to Mexico. Dixie joins us today to tell us, as a wedding vendor, what she wishes couples knew. Big Takeaways Remember your vendors are running a business. Just because you are there for only a weekend doesnʼt mean you can ignore the space you are staying in. Leave it cleaner than you found it. Read your contracts! There is fine print and itʼs super important to understand before signing on the line. Good wedding planners make a big difference! They know how to communicate and work with venues and vendors in a skilled and helpful way. Every single wedding professional needs a certificate of insurance! It may even be required through the venue. This is important to sort through, and figure out way before day of. Pick vendors who are actually insured. Children need to be with an adult at all times. In general, keep an eye on all kids, the rules might not be as clear to them as it is to you. When the crew is setting up, having the wedding party is raiding the bar itʼs super disruptive. Bring a bottle of champagne or something like that, and then wait until the partyʼs started before doing that. Dixie has a clause in her contracts about being respectful. Her property, her work are very important to her. She wants your day to be special. And in order for that to happen, both sides must respect the boundaries and rules and the day will be wonderful. In a venue contract, before itʼs signed, there is some flexibility. All you have to do is ask, worst case scenario they just say no. Also iʼs important to read your contract about things like emergencies, contact times, etc. communicate, ask questions, clarify. Links We Referenced thefarmromega.com (https://www.thefarmromega.com/) Quotes “Not reading your contract is not an excuse for getting out of your contract.” - Dixie “Being nice really goes a long way.” - Dixie “Just be courteous and respectful.” - Michelle “Everyone that is providing your wedding services wants you to have the best day ever.” - Dixie Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Dixie Bagley.

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About This Episode Leah Weinberg is the Owner & Creative Director of Color Pop Events -- a New York City-based wedding planning company that focuses on the details and lives in the logistics. Now in her seventh year of business, Leah leverages skills like organization, attention to detail, and client service from her prior career as a commercial real estate attorney to excel at event production. Her colorful work and party planning tips have been published online and in print with Vogue, Bravo, Martha Stewart, The Knot, Buzzfeed and more. In this episode, Leah joins Christy to share about the after wedding emotions, how to get through the engagement to the come down process, and introduces the new book she is working on, The Psychology of Weddings (The Weird S** That Happens When You Get Engaged). Big Takeaways Understanding what others are going through can really allow ease in the wedding planning process. A common topic that is brought up is that friends might be feeling some pain in response to your engagement and marriage. The best idea is to show some grace. Try not to pick apart everything after the wedding. You want to have the memory of your day in a good spot. It feels nice to carry an amazing, glowing feeling. With obvious exceptions, like needing to deal with bad reviews, and customer service issues, let the rest go. A good mindset going in to the wedding goes a long way! It really helps the ability for you to enjoy it. The best decisions will be made when you can compare options, and sleep on it, and really spend time figuring things out. This is where a planner can come in handy too. Reviews mean a lot. It is important to think critically about what you are saying. Most issues can be handled interpersonally. The best way to insure a great wedding day is to meet with the vendors, talk to them, ask questions, and go from there. Links We Referenced * www.colorpopevents.com (https://www.colorpopevents.com/) facebook.com/colorpopevents (https://www.facebook.com/colorpopevents) Instagram.com/colorpopevents (https://www.instagram.com/colorpopevents/) @colorpopevents on Twitter and Pinterest Quotes: “I try not to say that the wedding is the best and most important day of your whole life.” -Christy “Try to reflect on the really great moments.” - Leah "We all just have to remember that people are humans, and cheesy golden rule, treat people the way that you want to be treated.” - Leah Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast (https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast) Special Guest: Leah Weinberg.

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Our monthly installment of You Ask, We Answer. Where we answer all sorts of questions from our listeners. Ask #1 - First Look - I don’t wanna! We have already booked a photographer that we really like and I am sure he will be flexible, but I know he has to advocate for his needs in order to do his job well. I want to be respectful and make sure the request I am making is somewhat reasonable before I meet with him. I also want to emphasize that while we, of course, value having photographs of our wedding, the photos are not really a priority of ours. […] I have ALWAYS pictured myself not having a first look. However silly, the romantic in me wants the two of us to see each other for the first time as I walk down the aisle. […] If it is completely unavoidable, we will do a first look, but I really don't want to. So tell me, is it unreasonable to ask a photographer to take all of the photos needed after the wedding? And if it is reasonable, could we do outdoor photos of the two of us right after the wedding at a nearby location and then come back and do the rest of the portraits indoors. I want to be respectful of his craft (and most of his photos on his website are outdoors) but I also don't want to arrange my whole day around an aspect that is lower on our priority list than others. Answer #1 100% you do not have to do a first look. The photographer is going to photograph your day - he will may input and thoughts about how it runs...but they will second to your plans. He will work with the day as you want it to be, and as you make the plans for it. Lots of people don't want to do the first look! Totally fine. Create an organized, logical wedding day timeline and give it to your vendors - all of them should have some version of the same timeline. He probably prefers outside photos, but any professional wedding photographer is going to be adept at indoor photos and lighting as well. Usually it's just not what they show off on their websites. I suggest you create the timeline by first deciding when you want the ceremony to start. Then work backwards and forwards from there. Here's a basic example - including when the photos can be. 3:30 - photographer starts - he can get some 'getting ready' shots with you at this time, if you want those. Probably has time to do a few minutes with you and your partner - if you will be at the same place in different rooms at this point. 4:00 - guests arriving, photographer taking photos of venue, some with bride and groom separately (maybe with wedding party or parents), maybe some of guests as they arrive 4:30 - 5:00 Ceremony 5:00 - 5:25 Photos with you and partner, parents, and wedding party. These are 'formal' posed photos. They can be done right outside the church - wherever the photographer wants, or in the church. Either way - they need to start right after the ceremony - which means it will be helpful if all involved are aware of the plan and if there is someone else who can encourage all the other guests to go to the cocktail reception at this point. Remember to leave some buffer time between this and when you want to join the cocktail hour. Or if you want to skip the cocktail hour, you can spend more time on photos and have some alone time with your partner (recommended!) 5:15 - 6:15 - cocktail reception - you can join this whenever you want, just put a time limit on the post-ceremony photos and make it clear to your photographer. If you want him to get photos of the reception room or details, he will need to get there to do that by 5:45 in this case. 6:15 - end (9:30? 10?) - dinner and reception. Photographer will leave after his hourly contracted time. Keep in mind that you don't have to travel far to get nice outdoor photos. I've seen couples literally pose for formals next to a dumpster behind the church, or in a grassy area by a parking lot because that is where the light is good for the photographer and he can frame it so that it looks wonderful. You may not have to travel to a park or something like that - talk to your photographer about your priorities (people over 'details', no first look, some outdoor formals, you don't want to spend all day posing, getting to be there for the second half of cocktail hour maybe...) and maybe he can suggest a place (and go visit the church, ideally) right there that he would be able to do good outdoor photos. Ask #2: My fiancé and I are having a wedding near we live (Southwest Michigan), all of our guests are traveling in for the wedding. Most of my family has a 3 hr (or more drive). Most of his family is coming from New York. With that being said, 2 of my bridesmaids (and all of his family) are based in New York. When it comes to all the pre-wedding events, how should those be organized? Like bridal shower, should my grandmother (who is hosting mine in Michigan) invite the family from New York? Should I reach out to his family in New York to see if someone is going to plan a shower for me? Is that tacky (or come across as greedy)? Same with bachelorette party? Should I invite those two to come stay with me for the weekend. They don't know each other, so they wouldn't be traveling together. Should I bring the 2 bridesmaids that live in Michigan (my sister and best friend) to New York? Or just take those two out alone? Answer #2: I think that it might make sense to have a bridal shower or engagement party in NY - with so many of the VIPs being there. You don't need to inquire yourself, though. Talk to your fiancé...and are you close or on good terms and communicating with his mom or parents a lot during wedding planning? Tell them that your grandmother is hosting a bridal shower for you in Michigan and you would like to invite family from everywhere, even though you know they won't be able to come. Be transparent - tell them that you know a lot of people are in NY and you would love to have a celebration there too so that those guests can participate if they want to. I think having a bachelorette in NY is a great idea and that weekend could kind of be a weekend for you and your girlfriends, and also have a nice brunch or something thrown in so that family there can come to a shower for you. (Also - you could make it a thing that you and your fiancé do - a coed shower in NY, or an engagement dinner there, then make a fun weekend out of it.) BUT - you do need someone to host this stuff. (I know it's tricky - I literally asked a friend of mine to host a small baby shower for me when I was pregnant.). NYC is a great destination city and it's pretty easy to get to, I think you gals would have an awesome time. If no one steps up to actually 'host' a bachelorette party there, but a family member in NY does want to throw you a shower/party, you can pitch the idea of a girls weekend that get your bridesmaids out there and the shower happens as well. You can say that you want everyone to meet before the wedding! Ask #3: This has probably been brought up a million times but we are having our ceremony at a chapel that provides a coordinator, organist and a security officer to stand outside (it’s a super popular place to visit and it’s closed on weekends for weddings) do we tip these people? Write them thank you cards? These services are paid for in our contact, but I feel like we have to tip everyone. Answer #3: Yes! Tip them! It’s a small gesture, but it’s very nice and we encourage it for sure. Ask #4: I would love to put up pictures from my parents wedding and grandparents wedding (both my sisters did that for their weddings) but my fiancé’s whole side of his family is divorced. Should I just put it out at my bridal shower instead? I wouldn’t mind asking my fiancé’s side of the family if it would be okay (they would give their honest opinion) or is it rude and inconsiderate to even ask? Answer #4: I don’t think it’s inconsiderate to ask. If they’re remarried, just include pictures with their current spouse. If the mom and dad are single and unmarried, then it is probably a better idea to display their photos instead, it’s a nice compromise. You can just put up the grandparents. Regardless, it’s not rude to ask (unless they hate each other). It can be fun to look back at wedding pictures! Also, you don’t have to do what your sisters did! Ask #5: I have also had three people invite themselves to my wedding. “I better be invited” or “when is it? We will try to make it”. I would love to be prepped with responses! Answer #5: You might need to have a trite, simple answer. Be kind, but don’t let them invite themselves! You can always just smile and shrug. Don’t put yourself in a place where you said yes and feel bad for having to change your mind or end up with a table full of people you didn’t really want to be at your wedding. Ask #6: My parents are divorced and my father is remarried. I don’t get along with his wife— AT ALL. His wife’s presence makes my mom uncomfortable. My father isn’t paying for the wedding. Is it fair to ask my father to leave his wife at home? Answer #6: We feel you! But it is not fair, unfortunately. If you are inviting your father, then he should be able to bring his wife. If you love your dad and you want your dad in your life moving forward, and you want his presence at the wedding, you need to bite your tongue and grin and bear it. It might not be easy, and either way someone is going to be uncomfortable. Don’t seat her with your mom. Don’t invite her to the intimate getting ready parties. But it will not soon be forgotten if you insist she does not come. Ask #7: My parents are helping to pay for the wedding, and my fiancé’s aren't. This is partly because my parents can afford to more than his parents can, but also because his parents didn't really like me during the five years we were dating and now we don't feel comfortable accepting money from them. (They offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner but we don't want to deal with any strings attached). My question is, is there a way to thank my parents during the wedding reception without making his parents feel left out or hurt? We thought the traditional way would be to make a toast at the reception, but how do you only thank one set of parents when the other is sitting right there? Or do we just thank both anyways? Answer #7: You could take your parents out separately and give them a personal thank you. You could also thank your parents during the toasts and have your fiancé thank his. Also, remember if your parents are helping back for this wedding, they are technically hosts, so they are allowed to stand up during toasts and make a toast to everyone, thanking all the guests. If they are comfortable with it, they can be the first to speak. It’s a nice way to honor your parents as host and no one will think it’s awkward or unfair. Ask #8: I recently got engaged in December and being the OCD, Type A person that I am, I immediately started searching for wedding planning podcasts. I’m so glad I found TBWPP and I’ve been binging it for the past month. Thank you both so much for your advice, guidance, and funny banter. My parents will be paying for the wedding and we all agree that we need to hire a planner for a full service package, especially since my mom and I both have full time jobs. We’ve consulted with about 6 planners and have narrowed it down to 2. I think that both planners would do a wonderful job and both have been recommended to me by a friend in the industry. The full planning package for planner A is about $7,500 and the full planning package for planner B is about $15,000. If I had known planner B’s pricing ahead of time, I may not have scheduled a consultation because the budget my parents, fiancé, and I had decided on was $10,000 maximum for a planner. After our consultation with planner B, both my fiancé and I looked at each other and knew we had that “this is it” feeling from her. We felt like we had known her for years and she made us feel really comfortable. We didn’t necessarily have that feeling with planner A but I know she would do a great job, and it’s hard to not consider hiring her since her package is half the price. Also, both packages include the same services and both are reputable companies. My parents don’t want me to “settle” and want us to go with our gut so are willing to spend the extra money for someone we really love. Still, it’s hard for me to justify spending double on planner B’s package even though we loved her. I’m also scared of making the “wrong” decision and regretting it later in the process. Any advice? Answer #9: As a small business owner, it can be really vulnerable to quote a price to your client. It’s great that you have a little wiggle room, and are willing to look at it deeply. At a certain point with experience, and understanding, planners can and should raise their price point. If you are feeling called towards a certain planner, and the parents are willing, we really think you should go with them. Speak to references, ask questions, do your research, and go with your gut! An additional pro of hiring a full service planner is that they are prepared to help save you money! They have good connections and relationships with vendors, etc. Links we referenced unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding (https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/) : Discount with package! zola.com/bigwedding (https://welcome.zola.com/allproducts_alldevices_50/?pkey=bigweddingpod&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=bigwedding&) : promo code SAVE50 for 50% off save the dates Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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A nuptial maestro for a decade, José Rolon specializes in bringing comfort to a process that’s famously filled with tough decisions and mounting stress. After his time at the Foundry, a luxury wedding venue in NYC, José went out on his own with the goal of leveraging his storytelling and relationship building abilities to create emotional and visual experiences for his clients. His work has been celebrated with the Best of The Knot, New York Times, Essence Magazine, BRIDES, and New York Weddings. José lives in Brooklyn Heights with his three children, and as a single dad, has learned how to keep his cool under pressure. He is also the host of The Wedding Buzz, a video podcast that has people’s attention keeping his finger on the pulse of the wedding industry. Just this year, he launched Impact with Choice, a new initiative in sustainability, and today, he joins Christy to do a deep dive. Big Takeaways Donating parts of your wedding can make a huge difference in the waste you are putting out. All those flowers that are used for a few hours could really make all the people at the nursing home’s day. Impact with Choice takes away a lot of the logistic stress of donating and making an impact. José understands that more work and more money is not necessarily the most appealing thing, but when it can be taken care of before hand, it becomes a gift instead of a stressor. You don’t have to change your entire wedding to make an impact. If any of this resonated with you, the resources are available to help you make your wedding a more sustainable day. Taking even just one of the tips would make such a difference. If this important to you, build it into your planning. Ask your vendors questions! Links we referenced https://repeatroses.com/ https://cocobundle.co/ https://www.garbagegoddess.com/ http://chipsonline.org/ https://www.visionscontemporary.com/ https://www.allseated.com/ https://welcome.zola.com/bigwedding https://www.aisle-talk.com/ https://5pointacupuncture.com/ https://www.doterra.com/US/en https://thinkcoresmart.com/ https://www.melaniekotcher.com/ youtube.com/joserolonevents https://www.joserolonevents.com/ instagram.com/joserolonevents Quotes “Anything is better than nothing.” - Christy “I want my clients to donate to something they believe in. Not feeling like the money they’re giving me is going to a cause I believe in.” - José “To me, what better way to start by thinking about how you as a unit, as a couple, want to make an impact, big or small, to the world.” - José “Something people don’t think about is - make sure you order things in bulk. If you order things in bulk ahead of time, there is less packaging to throw away.” - José “Don’t do it because it’s trending, do it because you’re moved to do it.” - José Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Jose Rolon.

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Julian Leaver joins us today to talk wedding etiquette and answer some burning questions about the best way to plan, budget, and more. Wedding couples usually face their biggest challenge immediately after the excitement of their actual engagement wears off. They now know what needs to be done, but the how is not as certain. Julian Leaver’s expertise is in applying practical techniques to the basic tasks laid out for most couples on their standard wedding checklist. Julian’s background in the wedding world gives him the perfect breadth of experience. Hosted by The Dapper Diplomat is Julian’s medium for providing the skills that wedding couples need in-between the checklist and the chapel. He also speaks to the event community and conducts workshops for some of the nation’s finest brands to elevate communication, dining, business and social skills. Big Takeaways Most of the time, people overthink the guest list! There are so many factors that play into the guest list, there is no 100% right answer. When things are getting crazy and confusing, return to the two of you (couple). It is your wedding, no one else’s. You should tip. Julian’s advice is you should only tip vendors who are present on the day and remain the entire time. The drivers should be tipped if they are not already tipped. Hair and make-up should be tipped. You can use tipping to be proactive. Tipping the wait staff on the front side can be quite a different experience than tipping them at the end. For the hotel staff, gratuity is typically already included. To invite children or to not invite them? This is a spot where everyone has an opinion. The standard, with children vs none, is the invitation. If you are planning to not invite children, you should preemptively tell your guests so they understand where you’re coming from. You’ll have an opportunity to explain the factors to them. Always do this in person! Don’t overthink the registry. It’s your wedding. Make the decision, move on, and don’t worry. When it comes to seating charts with divorced parents, complicated situations, have an in person conversation. It’s hard, but it will relieve the stress that can easily build when it goes untouched. Remember your guests are adults. Your parents are grown adults. It’s easy to revert to the role of child parent. But remember it is an adult to adult conversation. Make sure that you build in buffer time. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the timeline, and then you can miss the real magical moments in the in betweens. Q: How bad does it look to show up with pre-cut cake and disposable plates/forks, if bad at all? A: It comes back to communication. Let your venue know you are bringing cake, ahead of time! Get clarity. If you have to pay a little extra to have them cut and plate it in the back, it is totally worth it! If you want it served, you will get charged for it. Which is also okay. Ultimately you are saving money. Just make sure you are clear about what the policy is, who is going to cut the cake, where it will be plated, etc. Q: Can you touch on dress codes? No tuxes, but we would love dark suits and long/fancy cocktail dresses? A: Highest level of etiquette says there are two levels of dress code for the evening. Black tie, and cocktail. This one is cocktail. The only dress code that should really go on an official invite is black tie. But, you can absolutely put this on the website. A separate card in the envelope with the invitation can also state that its cocktail. Q: Two of my friends who were dating for several years recently split up. Though I was HIS friend first, she became someone I ended up even closer with. However the bulk of my pals are “team him” and I don’t think I can invite her without a HUGE pile of drama. Any advice on how to tell her she’s important to me but I don’t want to rock the entire cruise line for the night by inviting them both? A: This is hard! This is, yet again, an IN-PERSON conversation. You are going to need to make it up to her if you choose not to invite her and she is that close to you. Also, remember these are adults. They should be able to act like that. Julian recommends not inviting either of them, if they truly can’t be mature for a few hours for YOUR wedding. Q: What is the best way to maneuver plus ones? A: If you know the couple and they’re coming, but both their names. Just because you invite people this way, you don’t have to give your single friends a plus one. Invite who you would invite to your house to dinner. Q: What if you start receiving gifts from the registry before the wedding? When do I send Thank You notes? A: Start writing the thank you notes immediately. But don’t send them until after the wedding. They are necessary. Don’t put them off! Q: I have both my sisters as my bridesmaids and couldn’t choose a matron of honor between the two of them. How do I make them both feel involved. Do I flip a coin for who gets to stand next to me to fix my dress? I love them both and I don’t want either one of them to feel hurt or feel I’m favoring one over the other. A: There are two different ways to sort this out. One is by age. So the oldest should stand next you, and goes down from there. The other way to do it is by height. Neither is personal. There might be hurt feelings, but it is logical. Other option: One fixes your dress, one holds your bouquet Links we referenced https://www.psow.edu www.dapperdiplomat.com www.instagram.com/dapperdiplomat www.julianleaver.com www.instagram.com/julianleaver zola.com/bigwedding and promo code SAVE50 Quotes “The guiding principle here is if you would have them to your house for dinner, they can be invited to the wedding. If you wouldn’t host them at your house, then why are they on the list?” - Julian “I am a huge advocate for not writing on anything, ‘adult only reception.’” - Julian “As much as Michelle and I are always preaching that it’s about you, do you, throw out the rules, turn things on the side, it’s your wedding, we do recognize that this is different than any other event you will plan.” - Christy “Keep in mind that there is life after your wedding.” - Christy “These conversations never go away, the only thing that happens is that you get better at them.” - Julian Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Julian Leaver.

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Jonny MP is a heart on sleeve sort of guy who loves the emotion and feeling of a wedding day and it's those moments that matter and drive him to shoot 'heart on sleeve photos'. Jonny joins Michelle today to share his journey into becoming a wedding photographer, and his love for the love of it all. After spending 11 years in the world of marketing and advertising for big brands in London like Coca-Cola and Kraft Foods, Jonny became a wedding photographer. He started Jonny MP Photography in 2011 after being asked to shoot a friend's wedding, and quickly realized it felt like him and he'd discovered his 'thing'. He has now gone on to shoot over 300 weddings across the UK and worldwide (including Mexico and NYC) and his personal, emotive style has provided many happy couples with photos they love. Big Takeaways Choosing your wedding photographer is a bit like the dating world. Look at your photographer and speak to several to find who you connect with. The better connection, the better photos. Giving the couple a little bit of “couple time” during their photoshoot is so meaningful. They are running around all day, and it’s nice to capture the real moments with them. It’s so important to click with your photographer. Jonny believes in a two-way connection with the couple and always makes room for them to be real so he can capture the true feelings on camera. Jonny tries to learn everyone’s names before he arrives. It creates such a warmness, and eases everyone into the day. Differences in the UK wedding scene: Barely anyone does engagement photoshoots. Most weddings finish by midnight (photographer is generally there for 10 hours.) Ceremonies are usually early, at 1 or 2pm. The big day often includes a 2 hour cocktail reception. Links we referenced http://jonnymp.com zola.com/bigwedding and promo code SAVE50 instagram.com/jonnymp https://www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding/ Quotes “It was the reaction of the bride and groom when I gave them the pictures, seeing what it meant to them, seeing what these photos brought to them. It was this amazing feedback loop of joy.” - Jonny “The more you put into this, the more connection and love and energy and excitement and appreciation of each other, the more there is for me to capture.” - Jonny “I really believe in treating my couples how I would want to be treated.” - Jonny Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Jonny MP.

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This is a learning episode! Today we are going to role-play our way through meeting with a month-of planner to perfect the ceremony layout! Everything from where to seat your guests, and how to format the processional. Big Takeaways Usually around 6-8 people fit in a row on either side of an aisle. Don’t stress about filling the front row. The photographer won’t capture an empty row, and they’ll be focusing on the couple and their parents. There are lots of dynamics to consider when filing the assigned seats. The planner can be a great guide to making sure you don’t have to think about these things last minute. Reserved seating does not need to be even on each side. While there is no right or wrong way to do things, your planner will have lots of info on how to make sure things work smoothly. Ask questions! Let them know your plans. Links we referenced zola.com/bigwedding - for your free personalized paper sample, and use code: SAVE50 to get 50% off your Save The Dates! Quotes “Somebody else, that has never seen anything about your wedding could run through the rehearsal with the ceremony layout in hand, that’s the goal. That’s how detailed and succinct it is.” - Christy “Adults do tend to get their shit together for one day, when it involves a really big day in their children’s lives. But sometimes, they don’t and you (the person getting married, who this day is all about) might have to just make the decision to not give it any of your attention.” - Christy Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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We wish you all THE very best this holiday season. Soon we will be announcing a contest/giveaway. In the meantime, we thought you might like to listen to the very first YAWA-type episode. We had no idea this would become a TBWPP tradition. Happy, happy!! xoxo, Christy & Michelle

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Neillie Butler is a three-time cancer survivor. In 2009, she decided to start her own business, so she could serve people with her whole heart and do work that rewarded her in a meaningful way. Today, Neillie Butler, the founder and Lead Planner of Mariée Ami is joining us to chat about bringing a heart-centered approach to weddings as well as her experience planning exquisite southern soirees. Mariée Ami is a premier full-service wedding planning and design studio in Birmingham, Alabama serving clients worldwide. Mariée Ami has been recognized as one of the nation’s premier event planning and design firms by notable media including BRIDES Magazine and Southern Weddings Magazine. Big Takeaways Weddings that feel like an extension of home-entertaining, with that same level of warmth and intimacy are on the rise. More attention than ever is being paid towards the guest experience - and really ‘wowing’ friends and family in a way that feels genuine and thoughtful. Multi-day events will always be popular because it affords everyone time to truly reunite in a relaxed and inclusive environment. Mariée Ami feels that their role is to advocate on their clients behalf, to protect and maximize their investment while alleviating any unnecessary ‘overwhelm’ that can come with planning an event of this significance and magnitude. They believe their job is not to dictate what the couple should focus on, but rather understand their priorities as a couple and translate that into a celebration that feels deeply personal. People want to be involved, and want to help! So if you have family you want to include, like a step-parent, just find a task that feel good about delegating. It will make them feel better, and take the ease off of one of the many tasks you have to think about. Communicate along the way with anyone that is involved in the wedding. Email check ins, etc. are immensely helpful. Quotes “By the time the wedding is all said and done, they see us a friend, and we see them as a friend. And it’s just this great relationship of respect.” - Neillie “I am a big believer in ‘you can’t love somebody else until you love yourself.’” - Neillie “The fear of giving up control, I have found, is one of the hardest things for humans. And I’m a control freak, I’m a wedding planner, so I get it!” - Neillie “I think life is just worth celebrating.” - Neillie Links We Referenced https://www.marieeami.com/ https://www.instagram.com/mariee_ami/ https://www.marieeami.com/ami-a-vie https://www.hellonoemie.com https://hismileteeth.com/ - 20% off with CODE: BIGWEDDING Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast FACEBOOK GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TBWPP/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Neillie Butler.

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Today, Christy is joined by Heather Rouffe, Director of Sales and Partner of Atlas Event Rental, a full-service event rental company serving the Southern Florida market for over 30 years. Atlas has locations in Miami, Palm Beach, and Martin County. It was also recently named one of the top 30 rental companies in the United States by Special Events Magazine. Heather is a big believer that rentals can be for everyone, and can make your wedding look like how you imagine it, without having to break the bank or do all the research and treasure hunting all on your own. Big Takeaways * Heather works with the couple themselves, their parents, and whoever is planning/paying for the wedding. A lot of companies have gotten away from that formula, but holding on to it has created continual customer satisfaction and steady business for many years. A huge part of the equation in the rental business is matching the client with the right sales person so that they really have a great experience. The magic is in the connection, and understanding what and how the couple wants things. Heather’s rental company and similar ones want you to enjoy every element of the wedding day. They can help you pick the right pieces down to the napkins, the placeholders, etc. The showroom helps you see things in real life so you don’t have to try to imagine from your computer. With showrooms experiences, bring what you can that will help you design. Going to use white flowers at your wedding? Bring some from the grocery store. Pretty sure you’re using your mom’s candle holders? Bring them along to make sure it all matches! Ask as many questions as you can up front! It’s helpful to know what you need to budget for as early on as possible. No one likes being surprised by ugly linens a week before the big day. Work with a rental company that has the mentality that they are there to help, and there to answer the hard questions! When it comes to working with a catering company that subcontracts a rental company, the extra cost of the rentals themselves is often very worth it! In this scenario, the caterer is taking so much of the responsibility off of the couple. They are signing the contracts, scheduling the drop off, consulting on the menu, and more. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask questions, and get what you are wanting, but any extra cost is helping relieve so much extra work on the day of and the days before. The mark up is minimal and they have a perfect formula for everything that is needed. Extra Hot Tips: * Velvet linens are gorgeous in person, but don’t necessarily translate in all to photographs! It’s okay to go extra special on the head table that will photographed the most. You don’t have to put all the money into every piece, find your key areas and build from there. Quotes “We have to be educated for the couple. We have to know what the hot trends are, what’s hot in what venues, what venues own.” - Heather “I think it’s important that the couple does more talking than the salesperson does.” - Christy “This is where I am so excited to educate and speak and put light on the rental company. Because we are fun, we are hip, we’re not just a warehouse where you walk in and there’s just tables and chairs. Most of the showrooms are beautiful and pretty, and again another really amazing experience you can have as part of the wedding journey.” - Heather “It’s okay for couples to be more involved and directive in this process. From reviewing the proposal your caterer sends you, to calling the rental company personally yourself and to figuring things out as you go.” - Christy “Don’t ever feel like you’re wasting anyone’s time, because you know what, maybe you ended up going to a rental company that just has vintage stuff, and I wasn’t the right match. That’s okay, and I’m glad I was able to make that connection. Because maybe we hit it off, maybe we really liked each other, and maybe a year down the road you have another party and now I’m a part of that event.” - Heather Links We Referenced www.atlaseventrental.com https://us.hismileteeth.com/ Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast FACEBOOK GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TBWPP/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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We had a blast chatting it up with Eduardo and Jason of Men's Vows. An online magazine dedicated to sharing advice and inspiration for gay weddings AND the first wedding directory exclusively for grooms! Eduardo Braniff is founder and Editor-in-Chief of Men’s Vows. Leveraging his expertise in editorial, branding and experiential design, and having attended over 175 weddings in his life, Men’s Vows is a natural intersection of his professional and personal experience. Men’s Vows is dedicated to supporting men who marry, helping create new wedding traditions and celebrating men who’ve found “their man.” Men’s Vows shares advice and inspiration from engagement to honeymoon, illustrating the process from “I will” to “I do” and beyond. Founded five years ago, Men’s Vows is proud of being one of the largest gay male wedding sites, with over 75K followers on Instagram, countless couples who have selected us as the platform for sharing their love story, and being part of changing how everyone understands and embraces what it is to get married today. Jason Mitchell Kahn is the owner and creative director of his own namesake wedding planning company Jason Mitchell Kahn & Co., and the “In-House Expert” for Men’s Vows Magazine. Jason began working full time as a wedding planner after the 2014 launch of his new book GETTING GROOMED: THE ULTIMATE WEDDING PLANNER FOR GAY GROOMS Jason’s work experience spans from serving as resident Wedding Planner for Shiraz Events to being the In-house wedding expert at Soho House New York. While at Soho House New York, Jason also designed, planned, and ran fashion shows, book launches, art festivals, movie premieres, opening nights, gala dinners, and awards shows post parties. The job took him around the world from Oscar parties in L.A. to events held in chateaus in Cannes and even an underground subway station in Toronto. Jason brings to weddings his passion for drama honed from his career and education in theatre. Two of his plays had professional premieres in New York and have since had productions around the world. Jason approaches all weddings with his playwriting background: What is the couple’s version of their most beautiful story to be told? *Big Takeaways * For gay men, and lesbian women, it has only been about five years since the marriage equality law has been passed. It’s relatively new. Finding a wedding planner who understands your wants and desires is so important. Jason and Eduardo are fighting hard to make it accessible, and easy for every couple to have their dream wedding. Men's Vows allows for representation of all types of people, not just the picture perfect, model-esque couples. Most men are not targeted in the wedding industry, and neither are lesbian women. For Jason, he sees the importance that marriage could have for the non-traditional scenarios. It’s important to find your flavor and taste and make the day for you. Just because the known thing is most common doesn’t mean you have to do it! There is no steadfast way to wed. It's important to take a look at every element of the wedding, and see if you are doing something because you feel like you have to, or because you want to. Aside from signing the paperwork, it's your day to play with and make your relationship shine. Pinterest is a beautiful place to get inspiration, but it’s also important to acknowledge that it’s not always representing the typical budget or set-up for a wedding. You don’t have to have an insane budget to have a special and meaningful day. When it comes to putting together who to invite, there are beautiful, kind ways of letting the people you love know you love them, but that they aren’t invited to the wedding. Jason talks about receiving a letter from a couple who are dear friends that explain how much they are excited to have him in their life, and can’t wait to share about the wedding. It is a nice way to make people not feel forgotten or unwanted, but makes it clear that there just isn’t room without having to be so blunt. Quotes “The princess fantasy becomes the bride fantasy. But where is the prince fantasy that becomes the groom fantasy?” - Eduardo “I love the idea of wedding as culmination, instead of wedding as beginning.” - Eduardo “One of the things that I do want to underline, particularly in the gay space where it’s sort of like, ‘chart your own course, and everything’s independent, and reinvent the rules!” If you wanna walk down the aisle with your mother or your father and like hand over a bouquet, and raise a veil, and do in sickness and health vows, go and do that!” - Jason “Every article, and every picture that has ‘performed better,’ in these days of digital metrics, are the ones where it’s an unexpected pair.” - Eduardo Links We Referenced https://mensvows.com/ instagram.com/mensvows Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast FACEBOOK GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TBWPP/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guests: Eduardo Braniff and Jason Mitchell Kahn.

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It's that time of the month where we answer YOUR questions...cause we love you! EMAIL - Guest List Decisions ASK 1: How do you determine who to give a plus one? With plus ones for each single person, we are at about 360 guests - my parents are covering the wedding and don't seem to have a problem with allotting plus ones across the board. HOWEVER, I don't know how I feel about having a bunch of strangers at the wedding. For some of my friends traveling long distances, friends who won't know people at the wedding, and friends who have significant others, I am more than happy to give plus ones. But is it rude not to give them to some people? ANSWER 1: Ok. So you will find a lot of conflicting opinions about this out there in the world (and online) but here is where we stand: Yes, it's a little rude to not do plus-ones across the board. We think the exceptions are: A) If money is a serious concern and cutting the guest list is simply necessary. B) If the couple and their friends are all pretty young (early twenties) - to where people haven't really paired off yet and everyone is friends with each other...like you and your fiancé are college sweethearts and recent graduates and you are inviting 60 people that you know from high school and college. In this case, it's ok to have all those friends - that know each other - invited with no plus-one. But I like to say, if you are a 'real adult' (and this description is very tongue-in-cheek...who really is a real adult?!), then you need to include plus-ones for any of the guests you are inviting over 21. I know you ladies will have a great answer. I understand you don't want 30 stranger's faces looking at you when you walk down the aisle...I can pretty much promise you that those aren't the faces you will see. ASK 2: WHERE ON EARTH do you draw the line on the guest list?! I am getting into dangerous territory now. I feel like I am starting to consider people to invite solely because I don't want their feelings to be hurt. I am to the point where every time I consider one person, I think, "well, then that means I need to invite this person!” I've obviously already accepted that this wedding is going to be massive, but I want the guest list to be meaningful and to really just include the most important people in my life. My fiancé brought up a good point as we were working on the list - he said "it's almost like we're trying to decide whether or not we want to talk to these people again". I don't want to just invite random folks for the sake of their feelings. What is a good rule of thumb once you get down to the outskirts of your circle? ANSWER 2: It’s seriously one of the hardest wedding planning things that people struggle with! You are not alone! Totally get that. Just remind yourself: YOU DON'T. Here's a confession - I got married in San Francisco after years of working with Michelle. I considered her a friend. My roommate from college - who I adore - lived in SF also. I didn't invite either of them. I had my reasons and they know them, but it was still a decision that I struggled with a lot and ultimately, I regret not inviting them. But I also chose not to invite about 30 other people that I could have...coworkers, neighbors, college friends... I don't have any regrets there. And the regrets I do have are manageable! I'm not losing any sleep over not inviting people. It's ten years ago and I am still dear friends with Michelle and my college roommate. It's not about the future - it's about the present and the recent past when it comes to inviting people. Have you had them over to your home in the past year? Do you communicate with them mutually more than once a year? (Like, Christmas cards don't count.) Please know that someone can be in your life - a part of your life - after the wedding even though they weren't there. We talk about this a lot actually, in an episode coming up. Keep a look out for the 'Men's Vows' episode - the content is different than the name, but that's where the guests came from. And we surprisingly went in a direction - from the perspective of someone who had been a guest at 175 weddings in his life - and he had some great insight about this very topic. ASK 3: Last but not least, is it completely taboo/rude to wait until after save the dates to invite certain people? I'm in graduate school and I have made some new friends who are not quite in "wedding invite" territory, but I could see myself wishing they were there by the time the wedding rolls around. Is there a tactful way to handle this situation? ANSWER 3: Totally ok to have a 'B' list - you just want to try and make sure that no one on the B list knows they're on the B list. Once you hear from a few people that they aren't going to make it, invite the grad school buds! Also, know that a Save The Date is not 100% necessary. When my husband was a GM of a restaurant for many years, it seemed like everyone of his staff members felt obligated to invite him. And some were honestly friends with him! I don't think we ever got a Save The Date. We got the invitation 4 weeks out or so...and if we could make it, we went! If not, no big deal. FB COMMUNITY - A, B, STD ASK: I have a dream. And that dream is... “when you get the save the date and know you can’t come please tell us k thanks.” Is there precedent for this? Total guest list: 315 A List: 256 Very real number of people on the A List that won’t come (family/parent’s friends) and know they won’t come months in advance: probably 30 I would like to put those 30 B List people on our A List! AND would prefer not to wait until two weeks before the wedding when it’s tackyyyyy to invite them. The text line I have in mind for the STD, in tiny print on the back: “Know in advance that you won’t be able to join us? We will miss you! Please kindly send your regrets, as this will help tremendously in our planning!” ANSWER We kind of like that! The most basic STD is a postcard with the date and very little information. We have suggested before that if you have a wedding website, include that address on the STDs. Then they can send their regrets that way, easy, smooth and helpful! Others in the FB group also suggested online RSVPs. In order to bump people from the A list to the B list, you might need to be proactive. It’s not that tacky to invite someone 4-6 weeks before the big day. There is no rule that you can’t reach out directly to people to see if people can come. Get your spreadsheets out, note who is on each list, and who you have reached out to, then as you move people from B to A, mark that too. ASK: Did you guys pay for your wedding parties hair and makeup? Answers from other brides: - I am considering paying for their hair & letting them decide if they want to pay for makeup!!! I think it’s a really nice thing to do, but not necessary. I personally wouldn’t require it though if you aren’t going to pay. It’s already so expensive to be in a wedding, so you can ease the burden of your gal pals, or just give them the choice whether or not they want the service! Christy & Michelle: If this is a big part of your wedding day, the spending time with the gals, drinking champagne, and getting done up, then put it in your budget and your timelines! My 5 bridesmaids are traveling from out of town for the bachelorette party and the wedding. They're amazing and keeping me sane through the process. Because my budget allows me to treat them, I am gifting them hair and makeup on the wedding day C&M: It is a luxury, but it is a special and wonderful treat if you can make it work! I'm paying for their dresses. The rest (shoes, jewelry, hair, and makeup) are up to them. But, I am not requiring them to wear specific shoes or get their hair/make up done C&M: This is another way to look at it. She’s saying she has already treated them, which is so nice and generous. And since she’s not requiring it, it takes the pressure and obligation off. I didn’t require hair and make up because it wasn’t in our budget to pay for everyone. However most girls decided to have their hair and make up done - so I included a gift card to the salon as part of their gift. It didn’t pay for it all but it helped offset the cost! C&M: That’s a great idea! And no matter what, even if you can’t pay for it, remember to thank your people for being there and supporting you on your big day. I did, all of my bridesmaids were coming from out of town and had to pay for flights and hotel rooms, so I didn’t want them to have to pay for something else. But I’ve been in weddings where we paid for our own hair and makeup as bridesmaids and I’ve never minded paying. C&M: This is so nice! No, but I also didn’t expect them to get it done pro (I didn’t either). I was recently a bridesmaid with full hair and makeup and it was covered by the bride (thank god bc I couldn’t afford it). I feel like if you’re going to require it, you should pay. If you’re not paying for it, be chill with some people choosing not to get the pro treatment and perhaps having a less consistent look overall because of that. I think all is fine but being required to pay for a dress, shoes, travel, hair and makeup is . . . A lot for some of us and I think it’s important to be sensitive to that. When all else fails, remember these are your best friends. Ask them! Ask them what they want and what they can swing, maybe most won’t mind and you can cover just one or two friends if you want that consistent look. C&M: If you are really concerned everyone has that consistent look, you might want to consider paying for that to get done. Otherwise, you will probably need to be flexible with the looks! If you are going to require a service, you have to pay for it. If you can’t pay for it, don’t require it! You can also let your bridal party know ahead of time you are willing to cover one of the two! But they have to tell you, so you can schedule everything appropriately. Hair and make-up can quickly throw off a timeline if it’s not properly planned out. Links We Mentioned https://UnboringOfficiant.com/BigWedding https://www.hitchswitch.com promo code: BIGWEDDING https://hellonoemie.com/bigwedding for 50$ off your first purchase with promo code BIGWEDDING https://zola.com/bigwedding for your free wedding website and 30% off invites and paper orders https://www.facebook.com/groups/TBWPP/?source_id=1020006734764802 The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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We’re celebrating three years of The Big Wedding Planning Podcast this month. WHAT?! Three years of every Wednesday episodes. Three years of conversations, interviews, advice. We’ve answered your questions, we’ve interviewed over a 100 guests, and we’ve learned and shared so much! Wedding Planning is the business we are both in, and the podcast is a true labor of love. In the process of producing the podcast, we have bonded, our friendship has evolved, our outlook has evolved, and we have Big Takeaways Special thank you to former guests and colleagues of ours: Aleisha from Bridechilla, Matt Gourley (Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend podcast) and Amanda Gourley (The Big Ones podcast), Claire from White Ink Photography, and Trish from Beatbox Portraits - they all called in to wish us a Happy Podiversary and we loved hearing from them! Ah, memories. We know some awesome people, yall. And this podcast has opened doors for us to know more awesome people, to know YOU, to hear your stories and your experiences and it allows us to feel connected in a way that we never imagined. Thank you for that! We reviewed some of our very favorite episodes - what a fun trip down memory lane! One that we both loved - was Ep #150 - “Will you marry us?” - all about how to get the best out of your friend or family member that has agreed to be your officiant. We loved recording it with our guest, Mark Allan Groleau of Unboring Officiant, and we got a ton of great feedback from listeners after the wedding. We’re still collaborating with him, btw - so check out www.unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding and you’ll see what we’re talking about! Among others we mention, we also loved recording the “Cocktails with the Aerobar” - which we did in Nashville. Listen to this one if you want to hear what super-hung-over Michelle sounds like! We’ve come a long way, baby! This episode is a celebration of how far we’ve come and why we’re excited about the future. Together. As co-hosts of The Big Wedding Planning Podcast. Thank you for coming along for the ride! Thank you for trusting us. Thank you for telling your friends and co-workers about us. And thank you for letting us be a part of your wedding planning experience. We are honored and humbled and really excited about the next year! Also - we indulge a little in this ep and take some time to tell each other what we love about each other. And honestly, it’s something that friends should do more often! It’s generous and cathartic and healthy. So - go find a dear friend and tell them why you love them so much! (And oh hey! You can use the ‘search’ feature on our website to look for the topics that you are interested in. It’s helpful!) Links we referenced https://www.thebridechilla.com https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/the-big-ones-earios-H5ZkFjCegWd/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ConanO'BrienNeedsaFriend https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/cocktails-with-the-aero-bar *Quotes * “We’re so proud of you guys for sticking with doing this podcast. It’s amazing, it helped me plan our wedding... we never would have gotten married and we never would have stayed married without your podcast. Here’s to a million downloads in 2020!” - Amanda and Matt “I really didn’t think we’d have enough to talk about for this long!” - Michelle (and there’s still so much to talk about, who knew?!) “Pull Back the Curtain. That sounds familiar, and a bit...vaginal.” - Christy, on a podcast name that didn’t make the cut “Thank you for being so open and honest and guiding us through everything that we needed. We love you guys!” - Rodger, from episode 156 “I have feelings for and about you, Michelle. And also about our relationship. It’s like pretty good, some deep stuff.” - Christy, getting emo “I literally learned how to put my whole entire wedding together from you guys. Some of my favorite episodes were the “Happiest Sad Say”, the polyamory episode, Noah and PJ, and especially the transgender wedding episode. Those were the episodes that really speak to our hearts.” - Jessica, loyal, lovely listener “Even in the beginning, we wanted to help people. We wanted to give free advice.” - Michelle, on our mission Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast FACEBOOK GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TBWPP/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Glenn Roush is the founder of LeForce Entertainment - a DJ company he and his wife Jennifer started out of their garage in Dallas, Texas. Over the past 9 years, Glen has grown his company to over 30 DJs and nearly 75 employees. Glenn and Jennifer have two young boys, two french bulldogs, and a passion for traveling. Glenn joins us today to talk about wedding entertainment, tips for the big day, and more. Big Takeaways * Something fun and new is having all of the toasts during cocktail reception, so everyone can eat and socialize and get straight to dancing afterward. * Don’t be afraid of the first look. Even if you are initially against it, it allows you to go to the reception must faster. It also gives you a moment to love on your significant other in a more intimate setting. That time to really love on your partner is so special, and we promise you’ll still be blown away during the ceremony. * The longer your pictures take, the more the guests have to wait. No one wants to push everything backward, people start getting antsy, and you may have to spend more money to keep vendors longer, and extend venue times. * Pick your entertainment, and focus on that first. You can always add lighting and photo booths later. * Make sure you like your DJ! If they understand you and what you like, it will be that much more special. Do a little research so you know you are picking the most suited performer. * Using a big company, like LeForce, gives you a few advantages like insurance, up-to-date equipment, peace of mind in case something goes wrong., and often, it is actually cheaper than using an independent person. Links we referenced http://unboringofficiant.com https://leforceentertainment.com/ Quotes “I’m trying to create a company where we are going to really pool that piece and those efforts, and focus on being busy, the right kind of busy. And working together as a team to find great parties and rock great parties. And really be a team together.” - Glenn “Bringing down the lights make people feel more invisible and more comfortable. And so they stop worrying… and they just start dancing and having fun.” - Glenn “Find somebody that you like. Find somebody that you’re going to be excited about, on the entertainment side. Because your excitement level, about your entertainment, is going to be infectious.” - Glenn Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Glenn Roush.

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Rupal and Brian met on Tinder, had their first date at the Movies in the Park, and clicked right away. After three years, they decided to tie the knot in a beautiful, fusion wedding. Rupal was born in India, Brian in Baltimore, and they both live in St Louis now. They share their experience having a fusion wedding, Indian/Hindu and American/Christian (Lutheran). Big Takeaways * Did you consult your parents? * Yes, there were some pretty open ended questions from our parents about what kind of wedding we were thinking of and we both were adamant from the start that we wanted to truly combine our cultures in our own, unique ceremony rather than have 2 separate ones (it just felt natural/right to do this). For the most part, our parents were supportive, my parents just wanted to ensure that we still had the opportunity to share our Indian culture with our guests and to incorporate some of the pre-wedding Indian events (sangeet). * What two cultures/religions are you mashing up? * Indian/Hindu and American/Christian (Lutheran) * What were the factors that went into that decision, rather than having the 2-day wedding that you were accustomed to seeing or reading about? * So Rupal was really drawn to the multi-day affair, partly because it’s in her blood (Indian weddings can last up to a week!), partly because it’s an excuse to party longer, but mostly because we knew that most of our guests would be travelling long distances to come to our wedding and we wanted to maximize time spent with all of them and didn’t want to feel rushed. HOWEVER, the idea of having multiple wedding ceremonies seemed exhausting and that idea just didn’t feel natural to us. If our wedding is a symbol of our commitment to each other and us becoming a family, why would we want to keep our cultures separate? Plus with a multi-day ceremony, when would we celebrate our anniversary? Which ceremony would be the “real” one (i.e. when the marriage certificate is signed)? All these logistical questions led us to the solution that one wedding ceremony that encompasses both of our cultures was the way to go. We also loved what this symbolized -- a coming together of not only Brian and Rupal, but also our families, faiths, and traditions, through a ceremony that was uniquely ours. * What were the elements from a Hindu wedding that you were considering? * What made it into the day: garland exchange, parent involvement, septapadi, flower send off after ceremony * What did not make it into the day: sanskrit chants from hindu weddings, prayers from christian weddings -- we didn’t want either religion to feel over represented and Brian and I are not so religious as we are spiritual. There were references to “god” but nothing concrete that would align with one religion over another. * For the Christian-Lutheran side? * Pastor David, general flow of the ceremony was very western/Christian, readings Links we referenced https://tinder.com/?lang=en Quotes “We had talked about, briefly, what if we did two ceremonies? And that didn’t last too long. We knew pretty early on that we didn’t want to do that, because we wanted it to just be a melting pot of ourselves and our cultures.” - Rupal “Not long after we got engaged, I mentioned to Rupal that I wanted my pastor to officiate… He was so excited for every Hindu thing we wanted to put in to the ceremony. He was just open-minded to it all.” - Brian “It was important to me that both my parents walk me down the aisle.” - Rupal “Assuming that the other couples out there have supporting families… assuming you don’t have any issues with people that don’t see the world that way, all the fusion stuff, once we made the decisions, it flowed really well.” - Brian Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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It's that time of month! Here's You Ask, We Answer for October! EMAIL - TOAST TIME! ASK: My best friend called me yesterday and asked if i could give a toast/speech during their welcome drinks next Friday night, her fiancé also has his best friend giving one the same night. What I'm finding hard is that when I sit down and write it out, everything sounds sooooo cheesy. I’m also worried that i’m focusing too much on our friendship. We do have a very special, unique friendship, and I have a ton of stories I can share. I don't want to make the toast too much about me, or just me and her. I’m worried that it will come off like I’m “showing off” how close we are. Is this a dumb thing to worry about? ANSWER: You can do this. Not as much pressure as the wedding day toasts. I think you can absolutely focus on your relationship with the bride - but just always circle back to how the qualities you are illustrating in whatever stories you share are qualities that her fiancé is going to benefit from. She's your best friend for the same reasons that he fell in love with her, in short. She's adjective, adjective and adjective. You know this because of anecdote, anecdote, anecdote. And he completes her in this way, this way and this way. And he's lucky to have her because this, this and this. Basically. You were asked by her to give a toast. The toast will honor her. Remember - this is going to be 5-6 minutes. That's it. You have hours of things to say about her...distill it to 5 minutes. When I was drafting my bf's toast, I started with a list (on my phone) of all the things I love about her. Then I fleshed out some of those things with stories and anecdotes. And then I read that shit out loud in front of a mirror. Remember - you don't have to be a stand up comedienne, or a one-woman show. A perfect toast - in my opinion (and I've seen A LOT) - is touching and funny (but not necessarily LOL funny) and comes from the heart. You are 'publicly' professing your love for your friend. That's the point. People want to hear why you specifically think she is so awesome. You don't have to tell all the funny or touching stories - but list them out and that will help you decide which ones best illustrate your point that this guy is getting one hell of a lady. And that you love her and you wish them the very best as they embark on this journey. You believe in marriage. You believe in them. And CHEERS. EMAIL - The Vegan Percentage ASK We’ve picked a caterer, a local upscale Mexican fusion type place. I am vegan and have been for about 9 years, and we specifically picked this place because they have really yummy vegan options. However, I always knew between my fiancé’s family and my family, we’d basically have to serve some meat too. So I was fine with that and made a menu that was about 50/50 vegan/non-vegan. My dad is paying for the catering, and keeps offering to pay more and more to add on more meat dishes that we really don’t need, and will cause excess food. This upsets me because his proposed new menu with his additions isn’t even 1/3 vegan, and it’s way too much food that neither my fiancé nor I will even try. I know he’s paying, and I’m trying to be understanding and not a bridezilla, but at the same time.... it makes me sad that ANY animals have to die for my wedding. I don’t want to add on MORE deaths. And, I feel like if we’re going to spend more and add more... it would be nice if it was something I could actually enjoy as well. When I try to gently say this to him, he gets annoyed and is like “well I want to enjoy it too” and I’m like.... anyone can eat delicious vegan food. Meat options are the limiting ones. I just don’t know if I’m being awful or what to say to him. Any advice would be so appreciated, because you ladies often have creative answers I’d never think of! ANSWER Totally get the dilemma here... Here's what I think. People that aren't vegans (like me) think that all vegan food sucks (guilty). Admittedly, I am wrong about this! I have been pleasantly surprised by vegan food and I've done a fair share of vegan weddings! I think you do need to consider your dad's opinion bc he is paying for it. BUT - put your foot down about the options and quantities...propose going half and half with the main course entrees (it's a fair proposal - he's paying, but it's YOUR wedding - so go with your idea: 50/50% on the dinner). And of the 50% non-vegan, some of that can def be non-meat. Reducing the kill quota that is understandably making you uncomfortable. If you are having apps, those can all be vegan except one - and let your dad pick whatever he likes for the one meat option. And the wedding cake or desserts can be totally vegan! He likely won't even be able to tell the difference with those anyway. Thank your dad. Tell him you love and appreciate him and you can't wait to celebrate your wedding with him. But remind him that this is just one meal for him...and for you, it's a really important celebration that should speak to the priorities and values that you and your fiancé hold dear! Your dad can stop at McDonalds on his way home if he wants to - it's not something that should be made into a big deal. Promise him that he'll get enough to eat and that the food isn't really the main point of the day anyway. You can do this! EMAIL 3 THOUGHTFUL HIRING ASK: I’m up to #153 about diversity and I had a question. I live in the heartland, conservative bible belt, and all that "fun" stuff. I grew up near the capitol of the state in a VERY good suburb area with parents that reinforced what my (our) generation of "treat others the way you want to be treated" were taught. My area isn't SUPER diverse but I was such a shy nerdy made fun of kid that I made friends with anyone who would let me :) My question is around navigating beliefs and vendors and I hadn't really thought about it before. I have decided my caterer must have washable dishes or compostable flatware available I'm not contributing that much garbage bc I'm getting married. What I hadn't considered is whether or not it matters if I hire vendors who don't believe what I do and how can I approach finding out? I don't want to support hateful awfulness that I don't agree with by hiring someone who believes that but "Do you service clients of color and LGBTQ?" isn't really on any of the interview checklists in the planners and guides out there. I want to be environmentally conscious and I want to not find out when it's too late that I've hired someone I would barely be able to associate with and not be mad all the time. ANSWER I too am an elder millennial - what a club, huh? Also, I was raised mostly in North Texas and it's super conservative for the most part there too. I love that you are thinking about these things, even though they don't really affect you - so to speak. You have an open mind and heart and I can tell that you want to make deliberate, conscientious choices...and I love that. Good for you! I think as far as the venue goes- if you got a good impression and energy from the venue owner/manager....just take it and don't question things too much. You already signed and things are already in motion. We can't know that every person that we work with or that we hire thinks about things the same as we do - or hold the same values as we do. You aren't ignoring any red flags...and that's a good thing moving forward. If she told you they don't do gay weddings there, that's another story, because she made it clear to you. For vendors you haven't hired though, I think asking them if they work with diverse clients and other vendors is fair! Sure, you don't see it on the 'questions to ask your florist' lists...but that doesn't mean you shouldn't ask. It's important to you. Worst thing they could say is, "No." And then you can move on and find someone else to hire. Just ask, Chelsea. I bet once you do, it'll be a lot easier to just keep asking. And my bet is, you'll get more "sure, we are open to serving anyone!" then you will "No, we don't believe in that". It's becoming bad business, slowly but surely, even in the heartland. I hope this helps! I really appreciate your thoughtfulness here! -C EMAIL 4 (From the FB Group) - Dessert Ticket Conundrum ASK Hey all! I am looking for some advice on a very specific question! In addition to cupcakes, we are doing an ice cream sundae bar at our wedding, this will be an extra cost of $5 per person. Instead of charge for every single person (we have vegans, people who dont like ice cream, it will be october in MN and possibly cold, etc). Our caterer/venue is willing to do a ticket system in order to save money on the people who do not want ice cream. We will have escort cards that I could put a stamp on or ticket with. What we need to figure out is how to ask people, is it tacky to put it on our invitations and have people check if they want the ice cream? Will people want ice cream and cupcakes? Is that too much dessert? Any suggestions are welcome!! Thanks in advance! ANSWER From another group member: Idea 1: Can you devise a system with the caterer where the guest hands in their escort card to get ice cream? I am assuming that there is a server in this scenario and that it's not self serve. Then you just get charged for the number of escort cards turned in. Have the DJ explain this at the cake cutting and put signage at the ice cream bar that describes it. You can make it cute, but just get the details across as many ways as you can! Idea 2: When I have ordered food for events that I think not everyone will partake in, I have guaranteed half the total number of people. Will the caterer let you do something like that? It can be any number you feel comfortable with. The only issue is that then they only bring the ice cream for the guaranteed number. When it's gone, it's gone. I find that caterers tend have a generous idea of portion size on buffet/bar style food because people sometimes go back for seconds or certain people like slightly larger portions. But it's definitely something to think about! Links We Mentioned https://UnboringOfficiant.com/BigWedding https://www.hitchswitch.com promo code: BIGWEDDING https://hellonoemie.com/bigwedding for 50$ off your first purchase with promo code BIGWEDDING https://zola.com/bigwedding for your free wedding website and 30% off invites and paper orders https://www.facebook.com/groups/TBWPP/?source_id=1020006734764802 The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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In this episode, we visit the wedding of Paloma and Cameron. They were married in April 2019 in San Francisco, marking the first wedding of the season for Michelle. Paloma was a listener of the show, and decided to reach out and as a result hired Michelle as her month-of coordinator. Michelle shares about how the day looked, how things were put together, and the beauty of Paloma and Cam’s love and union. Big Takeaways Some churches have their own on-site coordinators. Even so, some allow you to still bring your planner. At Swedenborgian, their coordinator runs rehearsals. The hour or two before a ceremony can be really intense emotionally. It’s really nice to have your most important and supportive people around you in that time. Having someone nearby with a positive energy and influence can make all the difference. Links we referenced https://sfswedenborgian.org https://www.haas-lilienthalhouse.org https://www.thelightandglass.com Wedding Professionals that worked at Paloma & Cam's wedding https://www.pourgirlbartending.com/ https://timelesscoffee.com/ http://www.potliquorsf.com/ http://www.envyfloraldesign.com/ http://www.dreamcatcherartistry.com/ https://www.pluralmusic.com/ https://www.thelightandglass.com/ http://knowaudio.com/ Black Tie Transportation (https://blacktietrans.com/?PNID=CoName&placement&keyword=black%20tie%20transportation&matchType=b&position=1t1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI2cG3sP-y5QIVAv5kCh0LcABNEAAYASAAEgKMHvD_BwE) https://sfswedenborgian.org https://www.haas-lilienthalhouse.org Quotes “I think that even if you do have a brain fart [while saying your vows], all you need to do is look in his eyes and just say how you feel.” - Michelle “I just didn’t expect it to be that perfect.” - Paloma Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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That's right. We're talking about the "S" word! It comes with the territory of wedding planning, there's no denying it. Wedding planning get's stressful. Let's confront it head-on!

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For the past 12 years, Meredith Commender, CSEP (certified special events professional), has been the Owner, Lead Event Coordinator & Designer at Significant Events of Texas - an event coordination firm based in Dallas producing an average of 50 events each year including weddings, social events, corporate events, and charitable events. She is a regular speaker for various Event Industry organizations in North America as well as at Event Industry Conferences. Meredith joins Christy to speak about how to pick the perfect planner for your wedding. Big Takeaways The average wedding in Dallas right now is around $45k-$75k. When you are in the average budget range, it opens you up to the largest segment of the market. By working with a variety of budgets, your planner will be able to work with all kinds of vendors, and not be limited, which is important for diverse clientele and making your big day unique. Though capturing beautiful, happy moments is valuable, you can’t communicate how smoothly a wedding went with just pictures. That’s why it’s great to have testimonials with each event. Both Christy and Meredith share photos on instagram and social media throughout the wedding. If nothing else, it gives the couple something to look back on and celebrate immediately that evening. Factors to consider when a wedding planner chooses a client and vice versa: * Availability * Budget (planners tend to be 10-20% of it) * Responsiveness * Do you get along? Personality clicking is important. * Be realistic about your family dynamics * Know what you want out of it Know yourself, know the situation before you bring a planner in. Interview the planner, be upfront if your family might be a difficult situations! No one wants to be surprised or feel bad. Just make sure the fit is right. Your planner should help you make your dreams come true, but you also must be able to understand limitations. Overall, compromise and understanding are super important on both sides. No planner should make you feel like the things that are important to you are weird, or bad, or crazy. Links we referenced www.significanteventsoftexas.com instagram.com/significanteventsoftexas Quotes “If you’re going to have the mindset or the approach that you’re going to post something from every wedding, then you have to post something from every wedding.” - Meredith “We have to make sure we are a good fit.” - Christy “I think the thing that has set me apart from competition, one I am very responsive, I am very quick to respond. That’s super super important.” - Meredith “If you don’t like your cake person, you’ll never see them again after your cake consultation.” - Meredith “At the end of the day, it is most important to me for the bride to be happy.” - Meredith Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Meredith Commender.

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Newspaper Wedding Announcements! Where did this idea for an episode come from? A listener share on our FB group - her wedding was announced in the New York Times - so iconic. Made me think of that Sex and the City episode where Charlotte is obsessed with getting her wedding (and perfect photo) in the NYT. It’s as old as newspapers themselves - these announcements and obituaries! And we’ve never talked about them as a part of wedding planning...or a thing people do! And it’s still a thing. So let’s learn about it! And in the second half of this episode - our listener Sheryl shares her experience and the process of getting her Texas wedding in the NYT. Big Takeaways The first NYT wedding announcement was in 1851 and was one sentence long. The first same sex announcement was in 2004! The proper etiquette according to The New York Times: at a minimum, a proper marriage announcement’s messaging includes the full names of the couple, the date of their event and the time. Those crafting the message may opt to include details about the couple's schooling, occupations, special achievements and charitable activities. Etiquette allows for the inclusion of details about how the couple met, the bride's dress, bouquet, hometown and the couple's honeymoon plans. Should the space allow, the announcement can also list the names of the couple's parents, bridal party and the person who officiated the ceremony. Most of the announcements are the same format. They include your professional biography as well. You are required to submit at least 6 weeks in advance. You submit through a form on their website that includes all the information you need to share. It is free to submit! It must include the legal day of marriage, where you are getting married, who is the officiant (if you don’t know you can say that on the form and add it later), affiliation of the officiant, info about each partner, age, contact info, birthday, degrees, jobs, parent’s names, careers, etc. You don’t have to be a New Yorker to get in. Try to figure out how you will get copies of the paper if you aren’t already getting a subscription delivered to you! The Sunday Times can be hard to nail down. Links we referenced unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding - Use link for $50 off guidance package https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/projects/cp/weddings/165-years-of-wedding-announcements https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/09/fashion/weddings/wedding-submission-faqs.html committed@nytimes.com to submit your announcement! Quotes “Maybe a couple months after we got engaged, I started thinking we should submit ours and see if they pick us.” - Sheryl “If you get married during a month where it is not very popular to get married, they don’t get as many submissions, so that also increases your chances of getting selected.” - Sheryl “They do the last six days, so if you get married on a Sunday, it would come out the day of your wedding, otherwise it would come out after your wedding.” - Sheryl “What I didn’t really realize is that our friends and our family were going to also be really thrilled about it and share it with people on their own.” - Sheryl Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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EMAIL 1 - Our wedding, their anniversary Hello Christy and Michelle, We are getting married in December and we are honored to share the date with my parents. It will be my parents' 57th anniversary on the day and we are trying to think of a significant way to celebrate this. My parents are very reserved people and would never want to take away from our day, but they are wonderful and deserve the recognition. I have asked about a First Dance song, but they did not have one. My mother has been struggling with her mobility as well, do a significant dance would not be viable. I'm confident that our DJ/MC will be able to handle whatever we present, now we just need a plan. Let me know if you need any additional information. ANSWER I can tell you from experience, I have done many weddings when another special day is recognized and worked into the celebration as a surprise and I love it every time. So do the guests. And it's really fun for the couple to know that one element of the wedding will surprise, delight and honor a loved one...so I am thrilled y'all are thinking about this! I know they didn't have a first dance song, but is there a song that is particularly special to them? I was thinking your DJ could play a mash up of your first dance song, and then it could fade into a song that they would recognize as special, as you two are dancing and have everyone's attention and then you could simply stop and walk over to them both and hug them and motion for them to be recognized. Maybe bring them out on to the dance floor - not necessarily to dance or sway since mobility is an issue - but to have the attention of your guests. The DJ could fade the music out and you could take them mic to say that this is their anniversary and you wanted to take the opportunity to tell them how much you learned about marriage by their example, and how much you love them. (You can also do this toast before you cut the cake, when you have the attention and the photographer is there with you.). Or you can do something where instead of tossing the bouquet, Sara gives it to your mom and you both give them a nice toast or something to your parents - private or to everyone - to honor them on a special day for them too. Again - I love that you are thinking of this, and I really hope you do find a way to shine the light and attention on them because it will be so meaningful and memorable, even more so because it is your wedding day. I really think it's wonderful! Please, Brett, keep us posted and updated and send pics! Happy planning!! EMAIL 2 - conversation about flowers, DIY ASK Good morning! I was wondering if you had any advice on how to decide on centerpieces? My aesthetic is romantic whimsical natural. My colors are muted blues and pinks - like dusty blue, navy, mauve, Cabernet, blush, whites, etc. I like lots of greenery and natural elements. On Pinterest I think I’ve found hundreds of centerpieces that align with my aesthetic but I just can’t decide and I don’t know how to start narrowing it down. My wedding is in April and my future mother in law in starting to put the pressure on that we need to figure them out sooner rather than later so we can get them done in time. HALP.. please (more info in an email conversation: My future mother in law has taken on the responsibility of the DIY centerpieces and I am not opposed to finding the best option for our wallets and our stress levels. Meaning if this DIY becomes too overwhelming for us, I would be okay with hiring some help. We will be hiring a florist, if all goes well, only for the bouquets. I want my bouquet to have lots of natural elements and texture - Im thinking the muted colors along with sticks/greenery/pappas grass Right now the plan is to have FMOL do the "decor" Any bouquets are the florist. Plan A is to be doing DIY boutonnieres and corsages. BTW do you have any suggestions for an alternative to corsages? The mothers, grandmothers, aunts, whoever that traditionally get a corsage. I dont really like corsages I think they look too Prom-y but I cant come up with anything as an alternative to set these wonderful ladies apart. ANSWER So attached are some alternatives for the ladies personal flowers, in place of a traditional wrist corsage. I think style has a lot to do with why some of them look prom-y. A single bloom corsage can look much more modern and elegant. And I love the floral bracelet, if you really want to make a statement. A pinned corsage is also a great option, and you can modernize it by making it more of a shoulder piece, like the photo. As far as picking centerpieces...if your FMIL is going to make these and handle other reception decor, I think it will be easiest if you give her some specific blooms you like and a basic color palette - as you have described. Pick no more than 5 photos that you like to reference for her and let her use these as INSPIRATION - not to try to perfectly recreate. If you are expecting perfection, I am afraid you will be disappointed and then she might see that disappointment and it will become a....thing. And you don't want that. So be very specific about what you like, but don't overwhelm her with too many photos. 5 colors, examples of greenery- how its mixed in, what the proportions are - and then 3-4 specific blooms that you really like. If you want her to use fresh flowers instead of faux, make sure the blooms you like are in season. I think the easiest way to plan for DIY decoration is to go one of two ways - either mis-matchy on purpose, or VERY simple with the containers and decor items so that everything coordinates and there isn't a ton of thought needed...like all basic, clear glass containers. Low cylinders for the centerpieces, and then some basic clear glass votives (like 7 per table and more for the bar and extra tables like the cake table). I think if you choose this option, though, the flowers need to be really well done. Because the base is very simple. If you go for mismatchy, your FMIL can have some fun buying containers and frames and signage and candles and whatnot that fits into the scheme...and then the flowers and greenery can be more simple. You have to tell her the direction to take and then let her run with it. Like 'all vintage milk glass' or all 'mixed metals and mercury glass' or all 'seaglass colors and textures'. See where I'm going with this? You have to set the parameters, but give her the room to be creative. Good luck and please let us know how it goes! Christy EMAIL 3 -From the Facebook Group community - RSVP cards with no guests names! - Currently in the phase of planning where I’m overthinking everything... how do y’all plan on presenting menus? One at each place setting? A few on each table? FIB? We’re having a buffet, so I plan on making labels for the buffet as well. - Hey, can anyone help me answer the following questions: 1) what is wedding dress cleaning and preservation and how is this different from dry cleaning? 2) what are people paying for this? My seamstress quoted me a couple hundred dollars which sounds so high! - Has anyone had a family member/friend design all the paper products and print on their own? One of my very dear family friends is in graphic design and has generously offered to do custom designs for our invitation suite and/or wedding programs. I just don't even know where or how we would do all the printing on these fancy papers I keep reading about! Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. https://www.paperandmore.com/pages/wedding-shop

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Beth Helmstetter Events is a full-service event design and production studio specializing in multi-day weddings and celebrations throughout the world. Beth’s discerning clients have hosted friends and family in some of the most beautiful places throughout the world including Italy, Paris, Bali, Philippines, Costa Rica, Mexico, Korea and all over the United States. With over 15+ years of experience, Beth Helmstetter and her team are sought after for creating memorable multi-day events that are filled with meaning. Beth Helmstetter Events has been graciously named as one of the best planners in the world by Harper’s BAZAAR, Martha Stewart Weddings, BRIDES and Travel & Leisure. In addition to being the CEO and Creative Director of Beth Helmstetter Events, Beth is the founder of The Good Beginning, a social enterprise and wedding registry service that connects couples with the opportunity to donate to charitable causes in lieu of or in addition to traditional wedding gifts. Beth and The Good Beginning have been featured in Forbes, Huffington Post, Entrepreneur Magazine, Vogue and More. Big Takeaways When a couple has already been together for a long time, before getting married, they probably don’t need a lot when it comes to the registry. The Good Beginnings allows the couple to ask the guests to, in turn, donate to a charity or charities that the couple feels passionate about. This is a wonderful alternative to filling your home with extra items you probably didn’t need or want in the first place. If you want, it might be nice to share with the guests the amount that was collected and donated in a thank you as they leave. Sharing that celebration with your friends and family is a nice way to thank them for doing this alternative registry. If you are having a destination wedding in a place that is near and dear to your heart or even perhaps is impoverished, or not as wealthy of a spot, you could choose charities that give to the community you are in. Something locally centered would make the wedding have a special touch, and help support the area you are in. Links we referenced www.hitchswitch.com Promo Code: BIGWEDDING https://www.bethhelmstetter.com/ https://www.instagram.com/bethhelmstetter/ https://thegoodbeginning.com https://thegoodbeginning.com/the-daily-give/ Quotes “I think weddings, rightly so, have really evolved into a personal reflection of the couple, and if a tradition means nothing to you, then why would you incorporate it into your wedding?” - Beth “This is kind of a next level of showing people who you are at your core. These are the things that are important to us as a couple. This is who we want to be in the world, not just on this one day with a celebration.” - Beth Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Beth Helmstetter.

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Mollie Yarsike is creator and owner of Black Tie Kids. After attending different networking events for young professionals, she realized the need for childcare at adult-focused events. Since it's inception in 2014, Black Tie Kids has worked over 120 weddings in Southern California alone. In 2017, Black Tie Pups was added as a way to help couples who want to include their furry friend as a part of their wedding day. Today, Black Tie Kids provides services through SoCal including, Los Angeles, Orange County, and Palm Springs. They also are available in San Diego, the Bay Area, and the Metro-Detroit Area. Mollie joins us to share all her wisdom about childcare at a wedding and other events, as well as how to make sure your special day goes on without any stress from the little ones. Big Takeaways Having the correct headcount is important for bringing in sitters. It is a 1:5 ratio, but if there is anyone 18 months or under it is a 1:1 ratio. Babies need more personal attention. Plans for the babysitting staff should be made ahead of time. If a surprise happens day of, they know how to handle it, but having an accurate headcount and being fully staffed is important to a seamless event. All babysitters are properly vetted, and love kids! If you have out of town guests who are invited to the rehearsal dinner or other events, consider having the babysitters there so the parents and kids can meet them ahead of time. Then everyone will be more comfortable! Some venues require a sitter if there are over a certain amount of kids. And so if you are in a tighter budget, Black Tie Kids also offers supervision that is a lot more relaxed. Aka, they are just there to monitor, not necessarily bring entertainment for the kids. Having room for the kids to run and play is the idea situation. Mollie’s team wants to keep the kids having a great time, and not causing a ruckus for the wedding or worrying their parents. If a dedicated room is available, they would much prefer it. If the wedding is outside, there are fun events that can be added for entertainment, like twister, giant jenga, egg on a spoon, relay races, etc. There is a lot of room for kids to get creative and get exhausted. As far as food for kids go, chicken fingers and French fries are always a hit. Keep it simple. Most kids tend to like it. Past and macaroni can be very messy and more limiting. Our Facebook Community Questions: We reached out to our peeps in our Facebook Community Group (https://www.facebook.com/groups/TBWPP/?ref=group_header) to see if they had any questions for this episode and got a HUGE response! Q. What age is considered a kid? And what age should they start getting the adult meal? A. 10 and below. Sometimes, a kid that is 12 can be watched too, it’s really up to the parents. And for the meals, it would be up to them as well. Adults love chicken fingers too! - Mollie 12 and under is the typical age with caterers where they can be charged for a kid’s meal. - Michelle What are the most common kid cutoffs between no kids, all kids, just family, etc? Q. If you don’t wants kids at your wedding, you need to be very specific about that. And be prepared if there is blowback. Don’t use vague language. Just be clear, and there is really no need to explain your choices. - Christy How do we word a kid free wedding without making it sound like we hate everyone’s children? A. It depends on how you are getting the word out there, and whether you are not following etiquette. Be simple, be frank. - Michelle You can tell them that you won’t be providing childcare, and be upfront about what they can expect if they do end up bringing their kids. - Christy Have you ever seen a kid stick their hand in the cake? Kids do want to touch and feel everything! It helps to have us there to keep eyes on them. Also if you put the cake high enough, they won’t be able to reach it. - Mollie It can really be a balance issue. If the cake is tall, or delicate and it’s on a table near the dance floor, or in a precarious position, it can be hit, knocked, or ran into. That is something to consider more than a kid touching it. - Christy Q. If we say no kids, how likely are the guests from out of town not to come to the wedding? A. It’s probably 50/50. - Michelle It’s something to consider for sure. In the case of the wedding, it might be hard for them to find a good sitter, because everyone they know is at the wedding! This is where it is super important to hire a team like Mollie’s. If it’s a true destination wedding, it might be very hard to find child care, and you might have to make an exception. Just be clear about what it means for them if they do bring their children. - Christy Q. If my sister in law’s mother is coming to take care of an infant, do I send her an invite? She wouldn’t come normally. A. You don’t have to send her an invite, just make sure the caterer knows so she gets fed, gets a seat, etc. Add her to your sister in law’s plus one. - Michelle Q. If we will have infants, what should we provide besides a private suite for breast feeding? A. This is so nice, and if you don’t care if they feed out in the open, let them know. I don’t think you need to provide anything. Maybe a high chair. If there are breast feeding moms, and a spot for them to do so in private, that’s awesome.- Michelle You can also be conscientious of the seating chart, so the little ones aren’t right next to the DJ/speakers, or right next to the cake, or try to make sure they are out of the way of traffic. Any little extra thoughtfulness is above and beyond. - Christy Q. We potentially have around 15-20 kids, aged 10-16 year olds coming. I am planning on doing a candy bar for the kids during the cocktail hour. And a drum circle to open up the reception. How do I make sure the adults give first dibs to the kids for the candy and drum circle? A. It’s all about communication. If you want the kids to go first, make sure the DJ announces it. It can be hard to predict though. - Mollie Unless you make the candy table design very juvenile, adults will want it. Make the table low. Put up a sign that says, “kid zone.” For the drum circle, you might need a dedicated person to run interference on it. Let an eager to help family member be the drum circle coordinator! - Michelle Sometimes adults have really great ideas, but then it doesn’t work out the way that we want. So keep your expectations low, and if they enjoy it great! But try to not let yourself get disappointed if kids want to do something else. - Christy Links we referenced blacktiekids.com (https://www.blacktiekids.com/) instagram.com/blacktiekids facebook.com/blacktiekids hitchswitch (https://www.hitchswitch.com/) promo code: BIGWEDDING Quotes “The staff that I have brought onto my team, and help me at all these events, they’re staff that are truly passionate about kids.” - Mollie “We’re always able to adapt, because not every wedding is the same, not every kid is the same. And it’s all about just being ready to do whatever is necessary to make sure the kids are happy.” - Mollie “You’ll get more bang for your buck if all your adults are out their shaking their booties on the dance floor, because they’re not leaving early or worrying about their kids.” - Christy Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Mollie Yarsike.

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Appropriateness, values, and activism in weddings. Katrina Majkut, author of the book, The Adventures and Discoveries of a Feminist Bride; What No One Tells You Before You Say ‘I Do’, joins us this week. Katrina’s book is the only wedding book that explains where all our Western traditions come from and how they impact the people we love. It uses feminism, humor, and fun facts to help eradicate all the hidden sexism in wedding traditions and provides egalitarian options for all. Katrina is also a visual artist, who uses embroidery to reveal how other feminine traditions have affected women's lives, and exhibits around the US and lectures at colleges about activism, textile art and women's issues. Big Takeaways Weddings can be nerve-racking when you are joining together with family that comes from different political/religious views. Everyone in the world is bubbled to the top, and on edge. A couple must be conscious of the location of their wedding, especially if they are inviting a diverse group of people who may be affected by the venue. For instance, Christy’s brother, who is a gay man, was invited to a wedding in Jamaica where people are still openly prosecuted for being queer. He decided to not attend as it wouldn’t feel safe. A wedding isn’t just about your day, it’s also about being a good host! Revisit the options, make a list of priorities, and figure out what are the most important factors for you and your guests. As a guest, what is the most effective way to show your beliefs? Is it protesting outright, or is it showing up and making sure you are seen? Ultimately, though. only attend if you feel safe in that space. If you choose to politicize your wedding, it doesn’t have to be huge and over the top. There are ways to do it in small, meaningful ways. You can change the outdated language to be more reflective of the current times. Removing man and wife, or kiss the bride, etc will be impactful. Modernize your wedding, get rid of the outdated traditions. You can ask for charitable donations instead of a gift, or replace the wedding favor with a donation. Remember that good change will trickle down, but understand that you are not going to save the world on your wedding day. Just be conscious and deliberate with your choices that speak to your passions. These choices can be so impactful. Small ripples make big changes down the road. Some states make it harder for men to change their name, so if you are in one of those states, contact your local ACLU. Mx. is the new gender neutral new prefix. When in doubt, and you know they identify as female, use Ms., it is equivalent to Mr. in respect. Links we referenced www.aclu.org www.hitchswitch.com Promo Code: BIGWEDDING Google: MAGA Wedding https://www.insideedition.com/vegan-bride-reportedly-bans-meat-eating-guests-her-wedding-50878 - Vegan Bride story https://offbeatbride.com/wedding-as-political-act/ Instagram: @TheFeministBride www.thefeministbride.com Buy the book! https://www.etsy.com/listing/593663616/signed-book-the-adventures-and?ref=shophomefeat_1 Quotes “Love in the US is regulated by the US Government. You have to go to town hall to get a license to get married. Same sex marriage was outlawed until a few years ago. Interracial marriage was outlawed several decades ago. Love has always been regulated. So, when you regulate something as pure as love, it becomes political.” - Katrina “Weddings are a community event. You have to treat everyone within your community with equal respect.” - Katrina “If you are going to politicize your wedding, it doesn’t have to be huge and over the top. It can be in these really small moments. This is kind of why I wrote my book. Because within all these traditions, no one really understands that there are all these very political small acts in it. It’s the same as the example of in the vows, when you go to a wedding and you hear you are now husband and wife or you are now man and wife. You know, why is the person still a man, why is it a wife? The whole issue of Mr and Mrs. It’s all really secretly imbedded in there, all the way down to just policing of women’s reproductive rights, and fertility. There’s nothing that’s clean. So, to really fine tune your wedding ceremony, and your reception is probably the most impactful thing that you can do. Because then you’re helping to evolve and modernize outdated wedding traditions.” - Katrina “To justify that, ‘I choose my choice regardless of other people’s feelings or how it impacts other people,’ that’s something called choice feminism. And I hate the term, because it gives feminism, which is the idea of equality for everyone, a bad rap. But it’s the idea that you can use the concept of the freedom of choice to justify choosing whatever you want, regardless of how it impacts other people or yourself. And you’re making these choices in an unhealthy, already biased system. So, to say, ‘well this is my day. I’m gonna do whatever I want, regardless of how it impacts other people,’ is a really good example of choice feminism. And it eventually just perpetuates these unhealthy systems. Which causes us to have these conversations, today.” - Katrina “I guarantee you, the more you invest mentally into this, and intellectually into your wedding day, I think it’s just going to result in a more meaningful wedding. Because you have been so invested in every little detail and step. And you’re being mindful of not just yourself, but when you care about other people, you can’t help but feel better about who you are and the place you have within it.” - Katrina “The reason why only the shitty options are affordably available to a couple is because no one is ever stretched a little bit further to say, ‘well let’s make the healthy choices more affordable for everyone.’” - Katrina Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Katrina Majkut.

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You asked and we are answering. This is our 22nd YAWA to date! ANNOUNCEMENT: We want to tell you about our partnership with HitchSwitch - the online name change website that makes changing your name easy peasy. Cut through annoying and time consuming red tape. Enjoy married life with one less thing to worry about and deal with. They’ll even help you get a new passport and then you can use it on that honeymoon you’re planning on going on next year! Enter promo code BIGWEDDING at checkout for 10% off any package. Voicemail ASK Hi, Christy and Michelle. My name is Adele, and I have a quick question for one of your next YAWAs. So mine considers planning as a whole and how let me restart that. How can you organize time to plan? I want to be able to do so with my fiance. However, we have very conflicting schedules. As an example, I work 9 to 5 Monday through Friday when he works about a 3 to midnight most every day. We don't have a day off at the same time ever and it's kind of hard to push wedding planning till midnight or later. If you guys have any tips or tricks, please let me know. Thank you so much. Love you. Love you show bye. ANSWER I definitely recommend a wedding planner so there is someone to handle all the in-betweens. If you do not have a wedding planner, it is possible, but maybe not super sexy. Try to divide and conquer and come back together with email updates or using the email back and forth as a touchstone. - Christy Think of this as project management! Open yourself a gmail account and get yourself on google docs and spreadsheets. Share them between the two of you. Create a wedding timeline, add tasks as you go with check boxes, and assign tasks to one another. You can also insert comments into these areas, that google will alert the other of, in case you have questions/thoughts. You will have see each other sometimes, set meetings, put it on your calendar. It is a big project with a due date. Use technology to your advantage. - Michelle Voicemail ASK Hey Christy, hey Michelle. Long time listener, first time caller. My name is Natalie. I am your listener from Israel. And I have a couple of questions about the logistics of building a wedding from the ground up. So my fiance and I, we saw a couple of venues, we didn't like the food and food has a major thing for us. So we decided we were going to build the wedding from the ground up and we have our caterer and our caterer recommended a couple places we could visit in the desert cuz that's what we want to build our wedding. So one one place, we really like and the price for this place includes renting out all the rooms. Now it's very expensive and we talked to our parents and both of our parents said, you know, it's fine. If we offer a free option a building like a Bedouin tent and having everyone sleep in this large tent if they want for free or them paying to upgrade for these rooms. And I'm just wondering how would it work that people would pay to upgrade to the to these rooms if we already, you know, like paid for them in advance. That just seems like a bit tacky to me to pay for in advance and like oh and if you want to upgrade your room just pay me and my fiance like 400 shekels and you can stay in a hut or like a room. So I'm just wondering how we can go about that without being tacky like maybe an online submission form. So it doesn't seem like we're directly taking the money even though it's still seem like that cuz it's not booking through the place or is this should we just like bite the bullet and cover the cost? Cuz it will be like at least an extra $5,000 for us, which is a lot and a bit out of our budget so we don't really know what to do. We want to do it but it seems a bit tacky to ask for money. Is there a non-tacky way to do this? Love you. Love your show. Bye! ANSWER It is a little messy, but it’s not tacky! They have to stay somewhere. Your guests are going to pay to stay somewhere for this wedding weekend. So the easiest way to do it is to circle your inner VIP first (friends, siblings, parents), go to them first and be transparent. Tell them what you’ve paid for, and say if you want to stay on property with us in rooms or in the tent here are the prices and you can Venmo it to us. This way you are presenting them with a choice. They’re still booking a room, but through you. It is extra work. Remember to say the exact cost, and give them a due date for correspondence and for payment. After the VIP list, open it up to first come first serve basis for other wedding guests. - C&M EMAIL - Dad and Stepdad are both very important to me! How to honor? ASK Hello ladies! I am so happy to have you both to help me navigate wedding planning! I've been bingeing the podcast for months and you guys have absolutely made my wedding planning experience shine!! My fiance and I have always known we wanted a non-traditional wedding day, and you both have made me feel so empowered to do what feels right to us, follow our hearts, and buck tradition! Thank you for being the push in the right direction that we needed to celebrate our day our way!! You've answered all of my questions but one through the podcast so far, and I think I only have one struggle left: divorced parents. Maybe it was a fever dream, but I thought you mentioned in an earlier YAWA that you were hoping to have a "dealing with divorced parents" episode, and I am sure there are lots of ladies and gents out there who have questions just like me and would really appreciate it!! So let's get right to it: my parents are divorced. I had a complex upbringing, but my relationships with my parents are now mended and healthier than ever. I love ALL of my parents so much, biological and step, and want to honor them all on our special day. It's easier said than done. Though mended, things are still a bit sensitive. The only one I've figured out how to honor so far is my dad. All through my childhood, my dad helped establish in me the importance of self worth, vulnerability, and love, combined with the magic of self-expression. When I heard you guys talk about toasts during a wedding ceremony, it seemed so obvious to me that my dad should give one at ours. Even my expressly anti-toast fiance agrees! I've already asked my dad to give our one and only toast on the wedding day and he is SO EXCITED, and it suits our relationship perfectly. My fiance and I are thrilled to get to share that moment with him. Now comes the difficult part: I want to do something equally special to honor my stepdad during the wedding ceremony, and I'm fresh out of ideas. If anyone were the right person to walk me down the aisle, it would absolutely be him. The only problem is, I'm 98% sure I want to walk in alone. I am not a fan of the concept of being "given away" to my fiance from a feminist perspective. So ladies, I implore you: what on earth should I do? As his daughter who loves him, I want to give my stepdad the opportunity to walk me down the aisle. On the other hand, I'm a strong independent woman who don't need no man! Being walked down the aisle just sounds awful, and not very true to myself. Do you know of any other traditions (new or old, from any culture) that we can include in our non-traditional ceremony to honor his support and love in my life while keeping my status as a card-carrying feminist? Or should I just buck up and have my second dad walk me down the aisle because I love him? And while we are talking wedding feminism, do you know any cool ways to honor moms and make them feel special and recognized on the wedding day? Wedding traditions I know of are a bit patriarchal, which is both unsurprising and disappointing. I am so glad I have you both to turn to with these questions, and I could not be more excited to hear your response. You are my wedding gurus and I patiently await your wisdom! Love ya love your show! ANSWER It was so nice to hear how we have helped you and empowered you! I'm stoked you got that overall gist, because that is what we aim for! We get SO many questions about parents and step parents and dead parents and divorce and siblings...all of it. 100% we need to pool all of the questions we have answered on the DIVORCE topic and have a special YAWA all about it. I will put that on our list! TBD! I love love love your description of your relationship with your father and I am glad you and your fiancé and your dad agree that him giving a toast at the wedding is appropriate and wonderful. Good job, one less thing to think about. As far as honoring your step dad - how would you feel about him walking you IN, but not DOWN the aisle? Or walking in alone and then meeting him half way and he walks you the rest of the way to escort you to your partner (rather than 'give you away'). Both of these options are examples of the 'half-walk', I like to call it. It gives the bride the chance to shine alone, to take it all in, to feel like she is making this statement on her own volition...and it also honors tradition and the importance of the father figure in your life. Also - you can add your mom to this plan and have them walk you in together...but only half of the walk. The photographer captures it all, btw - so you can give your stepdad a framed photo of him walking you in, but prominently display the one of you facing your partner all on your own in your wedding album...you can have both. There are different ways to do the half-walk.. A 'T' shape could work depending on your venue layout. Or you either meet or ditch your stepdad at the midway point down the aisle. Consider the entrance and altar positions at your venue. Think outside the box! If you decide to walk in alone, maybe you can meet and give or get flowers to your step dad somewhere along the way - or stop and kiss and hug both or all of your parents when you are almost all the way to your partner at the altar. Give or take a flower perhaps (you can take it from them and put it in your bouquet). The more traditional avenues are to have your stepdad do a reading during the ceremony. You can do a father/daughter dance with one or both of your dads. You can give a toast yourself at the wedding or the rehearsal dinner and tell everyone how much you love your parents, and how grateful you are. You know I'm a huge fan of handwritten letters and cards. You can display photos of your stepdad and mom, or of you with all of your parents (different ways to do this at the reception). If there is a favorite song that you and your stepdad have, you can play it during dinner and have a little moment with him then...it doesn't have to be something other guests are even aware of. All of this can go for your mom too! All being said - I think the half-walk is a great option for you. You can create it and do it anyway you want. And it can be your mom and stepdad. It's not so much them giving you away as it is you walking with them from one part of your life to another. They have been there for you on your journey into adulthood and you want them to be able to be there for you on your wedding day too. I hope this helps! It's a bit rambling, but it's because I am trying to type fast and answer thoroughly. I can tell you are a thoughtful person and I so appreciate the time and thought you are putting into honoring your parents. All of them. It takes a village. A wedding is a time to celebrate that. Christy EMAIL - conversation about low budge cocktail hour food ASK Hey Ladies! First, I really enjoy the podcast. I listen in my car - I'm usually driving for most of the day. It gives me such a great way to focus on one topic at a time, which means my mind isn't racing between a million different topics all at once! Listening has taken away a lot of stress during the planning process. I'm about 10 months out from our wedding (6/19/20) and we're already pretty far along in the planning. We have the venues, officiant, photographer, and I've even found my dress! Right now, the biggest thing on my mind is catering. My fiance and I have really prioritized other items (photography, venue, bar). Therefore, it's pretty hard to swallow a huge catering cost. We're anticipating having a buffet dinner (my fiance likes being able to pick only things he likes :)). But I'm really stuck on cocktail hour. It's been suggested to me that we consider passed appetizers. But I worry this is really expensive when you factor in the staffing required. Do you have any suggestions about appetizer stands or other ideas for cocktail hour food that could save us some money? ANSWER Thank you so much for listening! Christy & I are honored to be chatting in your ear while you are driving around throughout the day! :) I'm happy to hear that you are been prioritizing and taking action based on those priorities. And yes, the food and beverage is a huge chunk of your budget. You are on the right track in terms of cost-saving by having a buffet. I would suggest the same for your cocktail hour. Have a few stations of food for guests to self serve from. Meats, cheeses, spreads, bread, fruits, veggies, nuts. All simple and low cost and people love to pick and choose. I know I do! It will reduce on staffing and it is simple food that doesn't break the bank, I hope that helps! -M Part 2 of email ASK That definitely helps. Have you seen anyone do any appetizers that were really easy? Like big german pretzels? Or something similar? I'm thinking it would probably be best to do something easy to set up and clean up. Do you think the caterers for dinner might have any issue? ANSWER I'd run any 'extra' food for cocktail hour by the caterer before you plan on it...I'm thinking of stuff that you would BYO - in addition to the buffet that they are setting up for dinner. Usually, if the caterer is a vendor coming in to the venue, and not an IN-HOUSE caterer, then they won't care if you serve casual food before their food is served. But if the caterer is the venue's in-house contract, then they likely won't want any food served on property that isn't from their kitchen. I have done weddings with chips and guac/salsa during the cocktail hour. I've done weddings where popcorn was popped and snacked on during cocktail hour. A cotton candy machine, peanuts guests could crack and throw on the floor, simple deli plates from grocery stores set out...I've seen it all. People like to munch while they drink. Thats the universal takeaway! I would love a nice carnival-style pretzel during cocktail hour if I were a guest! -C Links We Mentioned https://zola.com/bigwedding for your free wedding website and $50 toward your registry https://www.hitchswitch.com promo code: BIGWEDDING for 10% off any package Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Today’s guest is the one and only, the original, the man, the myth, the legend - Krandel Lee Newton, of Dallas Texas. Krandel graciously joined Christy and her family for dinner recently and they talked and hung out for over 4 hours. Afterward, Christy’s parent’s said, “That was one of the most interesting and enjoyable guests we have ever had the pleasure of hosting! Thank you, Christy!” We think after this episode, you will share their sentiments. At least we hope you do! Krandel Lee Newton is the creator of The Original Butt Sketch®, a popular art form that spotlights a person’s backside. He has sketched more than 500,000 butts for audiences at weddings, conventions, corporate functions and private parties all over the world. All shapes and sizes – famous butts, as well as young and old backsides have been sketched. Magazines, newspapers, television, social media - both nationally and internationally - have spread the word about Newton and his group of dedicated, hardworking and fun artists. The Original Butt Sketch® World Tour has been sweeping the land. The 2-1/2 minutes, charcoal sketches were made famous on a street corner in the historic West End in Dallas, TX. He put his easel up on a street corner and quickly earned a loyal following. He credits the success of The Original Butt Sketch® to the first clients who turned their backs on him. Currently, Newton maintains The Original Butt Sketch® World Headquarters in Dallas, Texas. Big Takeaways It’s difficult to put this episode into bullet points, but we did have an outline going into the interview, like we always do with guests. Let’s startt with the reason we wanted to interview Krandel for our podcast: What Krandel does unique. He is an artist and has the service - for weddings and corporate events - down to a science. We hear from so many listeners and clients looking for fun, unique, interactive ways to entertain and party with their guests. Booking these artists and performers may have a slightly different process or feel during the planning process. If you want to do something cool and different and memorable at your wedding - stick with it! It’s worth it. People hire Krandel for lots of different reasons. What he knows for sure is that it’s hard to describe what he does - and for people to ‘get it’ - until they see it. Most of his good leads are from people that have seen or worked with Krandel somewhere else. They know, and they may be the only people in the whole room that know, that the Butt Sketch is a HIT! Absolutely entertaining. It’s unique and memorable and interactive. It’s art and it’s performance. And your guests get a great experience and an awesome momento of the event. And it’s a hell of an ice breaker! Professionalism and consistency. These things are key - even if you are hiring an ‘offbeat’ artist to be on your vendor team for the wedding day. You need communication. You need a contract. And you need to feel like the wedding planning process - and the day of - is respected as an important job. Krandel tells us how easy it is to hire him or one of his artists in this episode. Some logistics to consider when hiring an artist: FInd out if they take breaks. And if they do (the Buttsketch Artists do not), you need to know how many, and how long. And if you need to provide food, beverages, outlets, storage, etc. Also, you (the client) may want to tip your artist. We suggest you do, of course, if you are happy with the service. And expect an overtime charge if you have them go overtime. This is normal and should be expected. It’s a job, remember! Links we referenced https://www.buttsketch.com https://www.instagram.com/theoriginalbuttsketch Quotes “People are fascinated to see it develop. For us, or for me personally, every time someone is in front of me, it’s a challenge. It’s not cookie cutter. I have to concentrate...I have a moment of, ‘Oh God, I hope I get this right.’ ” - Krandel “Once we get going, there’s a lot of laughter. You hear all this buzzing around and you would think we’re over there cracking jokes, but we’re not! It’s really the crowd getting to a comfortable point.” - Krandel - on the guests, having so much fun! “The idea of being an artist - but in business...you talk about how your artists have all been trained by you. But we are not just talking about training them in how to draw a certain style. But sort of the Rules of Engagement. How to interact. What not to do. What times to pull back...as planners, that matters to us!” - Christy “What planners want is dependability. Are you going to show up. And professionalism. We take that trust seriously. If we’re hired by a planner, it’s my job to make that planner look good.” - Krandel (You know we love to hear that!) “Streamlined and simple. You’ve got a lot of other stuff to take care of! We take pride in being the easiest and less anxiety-inducing business you hire.” - Krandel, on his business practices “The thing is, when you see us, you’ve never heard of us. That’s the beauty. 95% of the people at your wedding have never heard of us, which is going to make you look good because you have something fresh. But the fact is we’ve been doing it for over 30 years.” - Krandel, on success and longevity “You want the person you hire to fit in, but to also elevate the experience.” - Christy, on hiring artists Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Krandel Newton.

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Andrew and Rodger Jones were clients of Christy’s earlier this year. We met them in Boston at the TBWPP meet-up (episode #147) and have stayed great friends. They join us to talk about what happens after the wedding, once the ceremony is over, and the planner is gone. Big Takeaways If you have a lot of individually wrapped items, be aware of the waste. Often the caterer is responsible for taking trash off site, and does not want to deal with the excessive waste at the end of the night. Unwrap things before you get to the venue! Bringing items to a destination wedding can be a complicated process, allow yourself plenty of time to figure out the logistics, including how you will get the items home afterwards. Think about getting a crew together to help unload and reload everything to help with possible time restraints. Delegate specific people to hold specific things. It’s a great idea, if you can, to have a few days after the wedding with a to-do list to finish what needs to be done. With BYOB weddings, often you can return the unused, unopened, shelf stable liquor to the store. Better to have too much than not enough. Catered BBQs make great leftovers. You can bring the leftover cake, food, booze to the brunch in the morning or any unofficial after party! Order to-go containers on amazon. Some more post-wedding items to think about include the marriage license, name changes, important paperwork, thank you notes, tips or final payments, gift exchanges, registry follow-up, minding debt, sharing photos, honeymooning, etc. Andrew and Rodger suggest trying to be present, allow time to slow down a bit if you can, and really savor it. The wedding day goes by quickly after months or more of planning. Links We Referenced https://www.totalwine.com Quotes “The question of where was answered easily. It was the how and how are we going to pay for it that was the really trick stuff.” - Christy “Having Christy there was essential.” - Andrew “Knowing how to manage communication and not get sidetracked was a huge focal point for me on the day of.” - Rodger “A wedding is the one time in your life that the whole room full of people is there to celebrate you.” - Christy “All you are thinking of is the day of, because that is vital. But everything that comes after … if you don’t plan it, it freaking sucks.” - Rodger “Making sure that you are detailed in that post-wedding bliss is so tremendous.” - Rodger Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Deval Parekh and Isha Gandhi are owners of iDev Event Company, LLC., a wedding planning company that specializes in South Asian and Fusion Weddings. They offer services such as wedding and event planning, Month and Day-of coordination, bridal and party henna, Mehndi, and live Bollywood singing and music. iDev specializes in ethnic weddings. Their motto is, “No matter what the event, never compromise on food, alcohol, and music.” Isha joins us to talk about her journey into becoming the expert in weddings and event planning that she is today and answers burning questions about Indian and Fusion weddings. Big Takeaways Most weddings last from 1-3 days, with 2-5 events involved. In the US, an Indian wedding typically starts 2 days before the ceremony. The first pre-event is a henna event with the bride and the immediate family. The next event is a ceremony where a paste of turmeric, rose water, and sandalwood (or similar) is applied to the bride and groom to make them look prettier on the day of the wedding. The one after that is music, a coming together of the family. It is a day of celebration. There are a lot of dances, food, and sometimes speeches involved. The day after is traditionally the wedding which is ceremony, lunch, and the reception that evening. In fusion weddings, incorporation of the mandap is a colorful and photogenic addition even if the wedding is light on cultural additions in other areas. The mandap is four pillars, the priest sits down and invites lord Ganesha to come into the ceremony and bless the couple. The fire is a holy fire. Depending on the culture, you might be asked to take rounds around the fire that are promises and vows you give each other in presence of the holy fire. After you’re done with the asian ceremony, you should announce you are proceeding with the Catholic ceremony, so the crowd doesn’t get up to leave to find food, etc. Traditionally Indian weddings are very colorful. Avoid black and white. Use accessories, etc. A lot of venues have a preferred Indian caterer. If not, make sure they allow outside catering, verify the caterers have insurance, and ask for a prep kitchen! Conflicts usually arise when the budget is not in place, or the person who is paying for it isn’t communicating fully. iDev gives a realistic breakdown on the price differences (ie, live band vs DJ, real flowers vs fake, etc). The bride and groom need to sit down and figure out what their financial flexibility looks like. Know your non-negotiables. A wonderful way of dealing with familial/in-law differences (especially in religion, etc) is understanding where they are coming from, and include them in your life. Research on your partner’s culture. Ask questions, be interested! Links we referenced iDev Event Company Website: http://www.ideveventcompany.com Facebook: http://facebook.com/ideveventcompany Instagram: http://instagram.com/iDevEventCompany Instagram: http://instagram.com/iDevHennaArt LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/company/idev-event-company Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/ideveventcompany Quotes “I think if I can pull this one off, I can pull off anything. Because 525 guests for six events, of which about 200 odd guests come from out of town, that was a lot.” - Isha “We give them a few options. We tell them these are some of the ways you can minimize stress, and this is how you can open conversation.” -Isha “The way you deal with [in-law’s fear of losing son] is you include her in your life. Make her part of those little things that they are always used to doing.” - Isha Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Isha Gandhi.

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Today’s episode is a You Ask, We Answer, as is our end-of-month tradition. Housekeeping Join the Patreon fun!! We need patrons to keep the podcast going, now more than ever! Quick thank you to our new patrons: Lydia, Clarissa, Jennie, Cori, Margo, Rhain, Sara, Anne Marie, Bethany, Aleah, Megan and Marty! Thank you! EMAIL - too much information?? ASK - First, thank you so much for this podcast it has been a savings grace for my sometimes over organized, love to have control everything, used to think our wedding needs to be perfect self. Don't worry since listening I've learned it's not going to be perfect, what I need to really spend the time planning, and what just needs to be tossed into the fuck it bucket. My fiancé and I have been listening over the last year. I have listened to every episode at least once, some twice, and even three times for the episodes that I needed to take even better notes on. We are pretty much paying and planning for everything ourselves so every piece of information has been EXTREMELY helpful, and don't worry we have a month of. We get married August 3rd 2019! We have been engaged for two and a half years and started planning with a 18 month countdown and boy did it go by fast! With our wedding coming up in less than 30 days we are working on all of the last minute small details. With my fiancé and I being in our... late 20s for me and his early 30s for him we have been to a ton of weddings recently. One of my biggest pet peeves when attending a wedding is lack of information: not knowing where to go next or what we should be doing etcetera. With this being said I really wanted our guests to get a ton of information so they don't ever feel lost or uncomfortable. We will still have a few signs people probably won't read, have a couple announcements that some people won’t hear, and have given our wedding party a bunch of information that they are probably confused about Haha. BUT along with all of this we have decided to have an Instagram just for our wedding and our guests!(very millennial of us).My matron of honor loves IG and has agreed to post our pre-made Instagram posts throughout the lows of the day on our wedding Instagram. We have already started to add our guests now so we do not have to worry about this the day of. I have listed below some of the announcements that my fiancé and I feel would be useful not in any particular order. Do you think this is too much information and do you think it will be just as confusing for our guests? Do you see something we should add? Do you see an issue that we are not foreseeing? Ceremony starts at 415 Cocktail hr is open bar Dinner starts at 6 Dress code No phones during ceremony Signature drinks Beer and wine only during reception Send off at 11pm Games during cocktail hr Find your table save room for cake! Menu Use our snapchat filter Thank you so much for all the information that you two have already supplied us! We will continue to tell everyone we know that is getting married about your podcast. Keep up the great work. Best wishes, -S&D ANSWER Hi hi! Thank you for listening! And for writing in- sounds like you are very on top of things! The Instagram page sounds awesome- please share some pics with us afterwards with your thoughts about how that process (of sharing pics) goes. I don’t know if you need to make announcements about all of this that you listed- signage can take care of some of it. Like you can do a sign at the entrance with the BASIC schedule on it- ceremony, cocktails (open bar!), dinner, cake, send off. And your planner should be able to help direct the series of micro-events, having the Dj or emcee make announcements when needed. Like a grand entrance, last call, special dances, etc. Your officiant can announce at the very top of the ceremony that you are kindly asking that guests refrain from using their cells during the ceremony. I suggest you have a sign on the bar during cocktail that says that beer and wine only will be served during the reception. Also it can have the specialty cocktail on it. Some things- like the dress code and the games don’t even really need to be mentioned at all- they’re obvious on the day-of. And remember- sometimes the best way to get the word out is to tell your parents and tell them to pass it on! I totally agree that it’s annoying to be at a wedding as a guest and not know wtf is going on. This issue though, imo, has less to do with announcements and more to do with a general disorganization. The couple doesn’t know what happens next, the dj doesn’t have a timeline, no one is in charge...you get the picture. That’s not what’s going to happen with a good month-of planner! Good luck! Congratulations!! Christy EMAIL - Short question that is impossible to answer _ASK _ Hi there, Thinking about some of my favorite weddings I’ve attended, some of the best moments have been spontaneous and random things that happened- for example, everyone heading to hotel room for an after party that the bride and groom ended up joining or a bridal party photo shoot that ended up turning into walking barefoot in a stream in the woods. I want to leave space for some of this spontaneous magic in my wedding...and I also want to plan every single detail down to the minute so I know nothing goes wrong! How do you suggest balancing those two things? And is there anything structurally or set up-wise I can do to encourage people to be creative and spontaneous? Thanks for your thoughts! Love the podcast so much. ANSWER Great email, I smiled reading it because you're asking for the impossible. Just kidding! I don't have lots of advice on this one though...but I do love the sentiment. I think you just don't over-schedule. Leave buffer time in the timeline between all the micro events. Surround yourself with people you love and have fun (fun people!). Say yes to experiences, even if they aren't on the timeline. The thing I know for sure about weddings is that they are only as much fun as the couple getting married. Let people give toasts, even if it's not planned. If you have an idea on the wedding day - don't talk yourself out of it. Are you in our facebook group? You could pose this question to the group - it's pretty active and there are 100 other people there that listen to the podcast and are planning their weddings too. I think this question would resonate with them and some might have better suggestions than me! EMAIL - 3 separate questions! ASK First and foremost- your show has been the holy grail of everything wedding I didn’t know I needed to know!!!! I can’t thank you enough for not only your insight but also how thorough, detailed, and organized you both are with projecting your message on topics! You really double as professors in wedding planning!🤩 I listen religiously and have a few questions that would LOVE your insight How far is too far to ask your guests to drive between church and venue. The city my church is in has limited venue options - especially since my finance and I want a hotel type venue where our whole guest count can stay on site (as 90% of them are out of town!) I love my church I was baptized in and don’t want to move the ceremony, is 1 hour drive from church > reception (which would also be hotel) too much? What about you much for bridal party and VIP to go there and back day of? UGH! I heard a bit about how you explained each dress code, but how do you best match your dress code and vision to your venue- ie we want a very formal elegant party - but our fav venue is a country club thus far in the area.. too formal? How do we dress up the venue to match our vision. What’s your take on “lag time” between ceremony finishing and reception starting. Do couples build in an extra hour to take pictures then attend their cocktail hour? My parents think attending your own cocktail hour is crazy talk.. but I don’t want to miss the party! Thank you SO much for your time, energy, and enthusiasm. It is beyond noticed, appreciated and enjoyed!!!! ANSWER We need to answer this together! (In the meantime, if you really need an answer to make your decision, I think it is ok to have the 1 travel time between ceremony and reception - as long as it's all directly and clearly communicated to guests, and also since the reception venue is a hotel, your guests will have the convenience of not having to drive anywhere after the reception, so that's a huge plus. Making the hour difference earlier in the day less of a big deal. Have you considered any transportation options? Also - try to plan the day so that the wedding party is only making the drive one time- like the guests. They will just need to get there earlier (to the ceremony) and stay later. If you are going to do post-ceremony portraits, make sure that the location for those is either very close to the ceremony, or very close to the reception, not a stop in between, if possible.) Links We Mentioned https://Zola.com/bigwedding for 30% off your invites and paper order! Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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In this special episode, we have the talented wedding planner, Tamara Jones. After a very poignant email from listener, Felicia Reid, we hope to begin to address some of the glaring roadblocks and differences that appear as a person of color planning a wedding. As well as address ways that all of us can help increase inclusivity in the wedding world. Big Takeaways As we continue the dialogue, we must ask the questions of inclusivity and experience up front. There needs to be more visibility. If the photographer doesn’t know how to shoot skin color that isn’t white, why would you hire him for a wedding for people of color? It’s important to vet, and that makes the pool of vendors smaller for sure. Even if you are a cis straight white couple, it would be powerful and extremely important for the future of weddings to only hire those who are comfortable, and trained to work with all types of clients. For the last several years, the same dozen or so wedding planners have won “best wedding planner” awards, and of those dozen, there are never any people of color represented. The website will be the first look at any vendor, and knowing that who you connect with is what you expected to connect with is helpful! Since it’s such a large search with tons of result, it might be nice to look for vendors that have employees that look like you, or have copy that speaks to you, and then go from there. Overall, some of the most important qualities to be looking for are consciousness, openness and authenticity. Links we referenced https://tamarajevents.com Quotes “You don’t see bridal magazines that feature black models. You don’t see bridal magazines or bridal websites that feature black couples. If you do see a black bride, usually it’s an interracial couple. Or you rarely see her with her natural texture. Or an advertisement about her skin or her makeup. So there’s a lot of things that we don’t see as representation in the bridal world.” - Tamara “People really have to be open, and I think that’s really the crux of what inclusivity is.” - Tamara “There’s so much talent in the world that it doesn’t all have to look like you, but it has to represent you.” - Tamara “It’s important to be uncomfortable!” - Michelle Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast // BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Tamara Jones.

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Desirée Adams is a wedding planner in Upstate New York who creates heirloom occasions for modern couples. After seven years producing high-level events for internationally-recognized companies in Washington, DC, she took a break to focus on her young children. But she couldn't stay away for long. Three years and three moves later, she founded Verve Event Co. in 2017. Focusing on efficiency and artful design, Desirée helps couples enjoy planning their modern wedding so they still have time for #allthethings. For her, life is too short to waste it on moments without meaning. Big Takeaways Though the idea of having your favorite band play your wedding might be super dreamy, keep in mind they might not know all they need to bring and be ready for. It is important to be sure the communication is excellent there, because unless they are a proper wedding band they probably aren’t thinking about the logistics. They also likely are not local, so there is the need to consider the costs of travel, lodging, av equipment, etc. If you are going for the wedding festival feel, the main focus is usually on the music. Food trucks can be a fun alternative to catering. The guests can wander between food and the band. However, with the trucks there is no formal time aside for toasts. So it is important to think about the structure of the whole day. Food trucks do have a higher per person cost, since guests should be allowed to go up multiple times. It’s important to think about how the trash will be collected, will you hire bussers? Without a proper catering team, you must be thinking about all the elements of the night. It’s super important to consider the space you are doing this festival wedding in. Weather happens! Be in a space that allows some craziness, drainage for a downpour, room for the guests to wander, etc. Have a plan b and a plan c in case it does rain! Safety and security are huge if you’re planning something like this. Links We Referenced: * VerveEventCo.com Facebook, instagram, pinterest: @verveeventco Quotes: * “As a planner, we’re able to give these couples the time back with their family and friends.” - Desiree “If possible, I would have multiple food trucks, so there aren’t lines.” - Desiree [On having someone come out and measure the space] “…then you know if you can actually fit or not… That’s their job, to understand what their risks are of having your event in such an area.” -Desiree “If you’re having a wedding festival-ish wedding, you’re not doing it to have a wedding, you’re doing it to have that festival concert experience.” - Desiree Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Desirée Adams.

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Today’s episode is a You Ask, We Answer BONUS episode! We are answering questions from the facebook group. HMU TIMELINE Ask: Okay guys HELP! My wedding is in about 16 days and I am putting together my wedding day timeline. I have been going back-and-forth with my hair and make up team and my photographer about what time we should start and finish hair and make up and what time the photographer should show up. My photographer said he’s very flexible (as he is a friend of mine.) But this doesn’t help my hair and make up team because they want to know an exact time that he’s going to show up so she can be almost done. I have about eight people getting their hair done and I think like 4/5 people getting their make up done (including myself on this). hair and make up said that they would like to be done by 12 or one so I can start taking photos with my girls and my mom. The ceremony starts at 5:30, do you guys think this is too early or is this normal? I dont have a wedding planner. So it’s all on me right now. 😬 thanks for the help i hope this name sense! Answer: 1-5:30 is a lot of down time. I don’t think you need to have the HMU be done by noon. Working backward from the ceremony start time... you want to be chilling and ‘quarantined’ at the ceremony site by 5:00. You need two hours of photo time, max. With buffer time for getting around, that puts you at HMU finish time of 2:00. I suggest HMU from 9:30-1:45. Photographer arrives in the ‘getting ready suite’ at 1. Shoots you and ladies and details like your ring, bouquet, shoes. Then you all do your photos- bridesmaids, moms. He’ll have time for venue shots and groom shots before the ceremony prelude begins at 5. - C Siobhán McCormack Agreed, seems like a ton of down time considering you're not doing first looks or family photos before the wedding. Everyone is different but I think I'd maybe be sitting around getting nervous and impatient for so many hours! I'd try and see if you can share your concern with the hmu, figure out if they're rushing to another event or what the logic is for the early start. I'd imagine you want your make up and hair as fresh as possible for the ceremony, rather than done four or five hours early. Unless you have one of them staying for later on for touch ups in which case no worries! And maybe you could think of something to do with your bridal party to pass the time if there's simply no way around it or something Alterations! Ask: Hi everyone! I recently had my first alterations appointment. A couple things bugged me and I’m wondering if they were “normal.” The first is that the alterations were $800 for adding lace sleeves, hemming, and taking in different places in the torso. The seamstress complained a lot about how difficult the lace would be to take apart (there are two layers sewn together) to make the sleeves, but that still seems really expensive?? The dress was $3000 (over budget to begin with 😝). I was budgeting around $500 for alterations. The second was that they wanted me to come in the week of my wedding for my last fitting, and only scheduled my next fitting for August. That seems like a really compressed time schedule and they said no when I asked to pick up the dress the weekend before the wedding. The explanation was that if I want any changes, she will do it the same day on a weekday. She also explicitly said she didn’t want me to have it at home for too long. I guess they’re thinking I would stare at the dress in their closet and want to make more changes? But I really don’t want another huge errand to run the week of my wedding since it’s a two hour drive to the shop. I’m thinking of emailing them to confirm that a) the $800 is the final price for alterations (since they didn’t write the total on the slip I signed) and b) ask to pick it up the previous week (even on a weekday). Is that reasonable? Thanks in advance!!! Answer: The dress looks beautiful and alterations are expensive...I don't know if you could get a better price at a competitors business. But I do think if you are uncomfortable with the timing, you should be firm about getting the dress when you want it. I wouldn't want another errand to do the week of either! They don't want to lose your business and you haven't paid them...so, tell them you want it on a certain date and if they can't accommodate that, you'll come get the dress now and bring it somewhere else. -C My wedding is in August and they scheduled 1 fitting in June; 1 in July a month before so if anything else needs to be tweaked we have 4 weeks to do it. My estimate is $400 for hemming, switching cups to larger size, taking in the whole bodice, darts added to the neckline and a bustle. I’m in central NY where most things are cheaper. - KP Honestly the more intricate the lace is the more $$$ the alterations tend to be. If you’re doing a full lace sleeve and the lace goes to the hem on your dress, this price does not surprise me one bit. Is your bustle included in that total, too? In my experience, it’s better to do your final fitting as close to the wedding day as you can, within reason. The thinking about having it at your house for too long is that something could happen to it (I’ve seen spills, pet damage, etc) before the wedding. I don’t know if they’d confirm a final price because it sounds like the seamstress isn’t sure how complex these changes will be with the lace on your gown and a custom request of sleeves. It’s wedding season so they may not be able to accommodate changes since it really gets nuts in the summertime. Honestly, it doesn’t seem too out of whack overall but if you’re uncomfortable I think it’s worth having a clarifying conversation with the seamstress. - CL More about Kids Ask: As someone who doesn't have children I'm struggling with this a bit... I was just tackling our seating chart when I realized that not all babies will need a seat and of course some will need high chairs. At what age should you provide a high chair vs. no chair at all? Also, we're providing a coach from the church to the reception venue. Should we be trying to provide child seats/booster seats or is it totally acceptable to ask parents to arrange this themselves? We asked guests to let us know if they wanted to be included on the coach and a number of parents with kids/babies said yes. Answer: Really depends on the kid. Babies usually need a high chair from around five or six months on (once they can sit up). Moving to a normal chair anywhere from 18 months to almost three years old. Suggest provide one for everyone six months to 2.5 years old and have a few in reserve if needed. Or check with the parents of the 2-3 year olds if you need exact numbers. -S You don't need to provide child-appropriate transportation. If parent bring kids, it's on them to deal with the logistics. High chairs are very nice for any kids like 9 months-3 years I'd say. Chairs are good for 4 and up. Brittany and Siobhan had helpful comments too! -C Sunset pics Ask: I need some help with figuring out the start of my ceremony. Sunset will be at 6:24pm in Dallas on my wedding day, 2-29-20. I’m pro first look and ceremony should be about 30 mins. Answer: Assuming you want photos at Golden Hour and/or at sunset, I would suggest this: 4-4:30 ceremony 4:30-5:30 cocktails 5:30 call to dinner 5:45 guest are all seated, start toasts 6-7:30 dinner In this scenario, you can take photos at Golden Hour during cocktail reception and/or you can go for sunset photos while guests are eating dinner. -M Links we referenced https://www.facebook.com/groups/TBWPP/ http://birdygrey.com/ Join our Mailing List! (https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/subscribe) Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Just because your friend is officiating your wedding, doesn’t mean it has to feel amateur and boring. Mark Groleau is a professional wedding officiant, and he runs the company “Unboring Wedding.” Not only does he work with couples to officiate a personal, and lovely ceremony. But he can also teach your friend to do the same! Big Takeaways Over-customizing isn’t unnecessary. Not many people have unlimited free time to retreat and construct the perfect ceremony. Remember that you are not the only vendor for the wedding. Maintain as tight and effective communication as possible. Remember the couple has soooo much to focus on, and you were chosen to take the weight off their shoulders. Mark offers wonderful workshops and training for the officiants. He teaches how to be part of the most unboring wedding, how to be comfortable, and how to have a wonderful ceremony. He follows a ten-part ceremony: opening remarks, the processional, introduce the couple, vows, ring exchange, pronouncement, kiss, signing, quick remarks, and present the couple. It can be really wonderful to have a close friend officiate your wedding. The emotional connection is powerful. Mark can help make sure that friend is also prepared for the day, so the couple doesn’t have to sacrifice anything. *Other tips: * Don’t do a reading. Unless the couple has a special reading (book, poem, lyrics, etc) in mind. The officiant shouldn’t be choosing. How can you take more off the couple’s plate? Streamline! Don’t expect them to be able to work as hard as you on your particular role. Engage the audience, but remember, the wedding is about the couple, not about the officiant! Connect with the wedding planner! This should be a cohesive relationship. Links we referenced https://unboringwedding.com Https://howtoofficiateawedding.ca Https://unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding ($279 for TBWPP listeners!) Quotes “I was like, I wanna be the guy. The guy when somebody googles, hen dad’s google, ‘how to officiate a wedding,’ I’m there. … I became what I wished existed.” - Mark “I’m the wedding planner for the big picture, but how nice that somebody else, who is going to be leading the ceremony, actually took the wheel a little more, during that hour.” - Christy “I’ll kick it off, I’m going to introduce you as the ninja of the logistics and you know everything about everything.” - Mark “The confidence of someone saying ‘this works, this doesn’t work’ is massive.” - Mark Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Today’s episode is a You Ask, We Answer, as is our end-of-month tradition. Housekeeping Hashtag #planthatwedding so we can see your pics! Share your engagement pics with us (with photographer credit) so we can share. And BIG thank you to those of you who already have. Next month will have 2 YAWAS and one will be all QA from our awesome facebook group! Voicemail ASK My wedding is next may, in 2020. I wanna know where I should put the Horrah on the timeline, since I’m a Jewish bride. The wedding is in a historic mansion, it has a tented terrace, that’s attached. The dinner will be in the tent, next to the band and the dance floor, and there’s connecting doors that will be open in between. We have a seated dinner and cocktail hour before dancing. So, I was thinking maybe we could come down this curved staircase to the dance floor for the introduction, and immediately go into the Horrah. But is it weird to do that before the dinner service? Also, is there anything else we should do in advance, like choose which people hold up the chairs? Our chairs don’t have arms, so should we set aside special chairs with arms? - Ashley via Voicemail ANSWER We love the Horrah! But we haven’t done a ton of them. So we brought in our good friend, Katherine, to help answer. Traditionally, it happens right when the guests are seated for dinner. But sometimes, when the dancing is not near where the dinner is, that can’t happen. Because you don’t want to drag guests around from room to room. For your set-up, Katherine thinks you should definitely do the Horrah right after introductions. The guests are ready for it, so bring the energy in right away! It is necessary to have the right chairs for this, so find a light weight chair with arms. You need something the bride can hold onto. They can be kept tucked away, they don’t even have to match the wedding decor. You have to have the arms! As far as designating people, it is a wise idea. You need about four pretty strong people per chair to be sure that it’s all ready to go. This is a great way to give people a job or task during the wedding. EMAIL - We’ll start light - with a lighting dilemma ASK Hi Christy and Michelle, I love your show! I have been listening for almost a year now, and I think you are both great! I look forward to your episodes every Wednesday, but I haven't had a good question to ask. Now though, I have a silly question, but it has got me stumped (I am sure it is easy for you). My question is about lighting. I am getting married next month, and after listening to your bonus episode about lighting, I decided to book uplights for our reception through our dj. He originally told me I could have two colors, one for dinner and one for dancing...but now that it is time to pick the color, he says we can only have one color. I don't know what to choose. I was going to do the amber color you suggested for dinner and then bright pink for dancing, but now I don't know which one to pick. I'm afraid having just one color won't set the right tone for the whole event. So, long story short, should I have it be the "dinner color" all the way through the night or the "dancing color"? Also, keep in mind that since its July the sun won't be setting until around 9pm and our reception is from 7-11 (cocktail hour is earlier in a different room). So maybe it won't show much during dinner anyway? Thanks for your help! A P.S. On a more serious note, this isn't related to my question but I just wanted to tell you how much your episode "The Happiest Sad Day" meant to my fiancé and I. My fiancé's mom was recently diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer and we have been dealing with the possibility that she won't be able to come to our wedding which has been really devastating for him. Listening to that episode helped us feel like we weren't the only ones going through sad stuff while we were trying to be happy. And it gave us hope that even if she can't come, it will still be a happy day worth celebrating. So thank you for featuring episodes about some of the more serious aspects of planning a wedding. ANSWER Thanks for writing - good question! First of all - why is this DJ only giving you one option now? In my experience, these lights are really easy to color-change, its all digital. Or at the very most, he has to go to each one and click a button, but that wouldn't take long, even with a whole room of them. Usually my DJs just set the colors on their main board and operate it from there. Maybe he has a different type of light or something. I suggest asking him again why you can't have two when that is what he said initially. Anyway - IF you can only have one - go with the pink! It won't be as dramatic during dinner with the lights up and the windows for sure, and it photographs really well. When the dancing starts, you'll take down the main lights and maybe have some dance lighting too and the pink will show more on the walls and pillars (if you have any). We suggest amber in our episode because that is the 'basic' glow color that people like and all DJs offer it - its ambient and subtle, but if you have decor or a venue that can take a little more fun, do it! My vote is for pink. Hope this helps! Your PS about your fiancé's mom brought tears to my eyes. That episode has received so much love from listeners - you are not alone. I am so sorry to hear about your fiancé's mom, I can't even imagine how hard it is to face cancer with such a close loved one. I have no advice, I can only thank you for the reminder to call my own mom. We have to tell the people we love that we love them. Remember - the wedding is about celebrating the choice you two are making to do life together. His mom is a part of your life now and she loves you. I'm sure she is happy that you two are getting married. My love to all of you. _EMAIL 3 Money Money Money _ ASK Hi fabulous ladies! Let me start by saying how much I adore your podcast. Not only have I learned so much, I've had a blast listening! Your warmth and honesty makes me feel like I'm amongst friends. I was inspired to write in with this question after listening to your episode on credit card "hacking" your wedding. I have $2000 in cash saved (literally in an envelope in the back of my closet) for my wedding, and I want to start a wedding savings account. I've watched all my cousins get married (I am the youngest in my big fat Greek family), as well as several friends, and I've also watched all of them go into tremendous debt because of their weddings. While me and my long-term boyfriend have agreed that we will not get married for another 3-5 years, I want to start saving now so I'm not as financially screwed as my loved ones were. What type of account would you recommend? A savings account, or a CD, or another option? Also- which banks should I look into/steer clear of? I have started doing some comparison shopping myself, but I would really appreciate your expert opinions. Additionally, I will be splitting everything with my intended, so asking my parents for a handout is not an option. Any advice on saving for a wedding is very appreciated. Much love to you in this wedding season, I'm sure it's a super hectic time. Rock on!! ⚡⚡ Take care, G ANSWER HI G! Thank you so much for listening and reaching out! We aren't really qualified to give financial advice but I can already tell that you are on the right track! Many couples blow through money they don't have because they simply don't care or think about the debt after the wedding...they are all about the wedding day and they want what they want, so they end up making financially irresponsible choices...to the tune of several thousand dollars. Like, "Oh, we'll deal with that afterwards. But for now, I want a ceiling of hanging roses and a champagne fountain and a 12 piece band." (I have a friend who made these kinds of decisions. And now it's 11 years later and she has 3 kids and a mortgage and they are still paying off credit card debt from their wedding. It's ridiculous! And you know, the thing is, it was a great wedding. But it wasn't THAT great...! I don't remember having a better time at her wedding than at any of the other weddings I've been to. When the people are great, the wedding is great. When the couple getting married is having fun, the guests are having fun. Just a little perspective there...) On to the actual advice: I definitely recommend saving and then spending accordingly, rather than spending money you don't have and then dealing with it later. Credit card hacking is great, and that episode makes a lot of good points for saving money on a honeymoon after the wedding with money you spent during the wedding - but you still have to have to money to pay those credit cards off - within the statement period! When I waited tables, I had an envelope of cash too - most of my colleagues did. I remember spending it all during a trip to Ireland! Which is exactly what I had been saving it for. It's so satisfying to save with purpose and then actually get to spend it on what you have been saving for! So good for you, you're on the right track. You have a couple years to do this, so I suggest you up your game a little, in addition to the petty cash envelope you have going. You and your partner can both start putting into a savings account - a joint one, separate from your other bank accounts. You probably have your paychecks directly deposited into your main account - so each of you can do an automatic transfer 1-2 times a month with a portion of your paycheck or salary going straight into the savings account. A couple hundred bucks a month will add up quickly! Then it's out of sight, out of mind. I don't know which banks are better than others - I use Wells Fargo and it seems fine. And I've heard great things about Ally - it's all online or the app, so you won't have a brick and mortar bank to walk into. Also - if you want to start collecting points on a credit card, listen to that ep again and pick a card that works for you. A couple years ago, my husband and I got a Chase Marriott card (now it's called Bonvoy) since we were using a credit card occasionally anyway - we got this to start collecting hotel points so that 'one day' we could take a vacation to Hawaii and have the hotel paid for. We're almost there! We've used it specifically for hotel stays because we get double points for those (we seek out Marriott properties wherever we go) and for big one-off expenses (like a new mattress) - and we try to pay it off in time and in full. That doesn't always work, sometimes life happens - so we've paid interest here and there and if we were paying more interest than we were collecting incentives/points, it wouldn't be worth it. If you started with a credit card now - purposefully - you could start collecting points before you spend big on your wedding, and you can also build good credit up. So! A combination of savings and a card is my best advice, but again, don't get the card if you're only going to rack up charges and not pay them off! When the wedding planning starts to roll around and you need to book a venue or put a deposit down on a vendor, buy your dress, etc, you can use the card and pay it off with the money you've saved. And keep in mind, weddings don't have to cost a ton of money. There are ways to budget and have a very nice, fun, unique wedding without breaking the bank. You just have to communicate with each other about priorities and what kind of wedding you really want to have...and you can't get caught up in the comparison game. People spend too much money on weddings. That's a fact. And I think a lot of that is because they're looking online and at what other people are doing and everyone is trying to meet some extreme expectation and they lose the meaning along the way. We can get more into ways to save money and things like that if you want to do some consulting with one of us - just let me know! In the meantime - Here are some eps that address this: https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/financial-planning-and-your-wedding #82 https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/big-ideas-little-budget 53 Hope this helps! Christy Email 4 - From an Israeli bride! ASK (She asked another question about action stations for her big fat Hebrew wedding -- “ We kind of want our wedding to be like festival themed and balagan, which is Hebrew for chaos/mess, but in this context in a good way. We basically want everyone stuffing their faces and dancing the whole time.” I love! - but I pointed her to YAWA 15 - released feb 2019 bc that episode breaks down the tips and tricks for a successful cocktail reception style wedding ) How can we make sure that our ceremony is unplugged? Israelis hate being told what to do. I was thinking of planting some friends and family and telling them to watch out for people using phones. Or would it be too intrusive to have a check-in system? ANSWER As far as the unplugged ceremony - you can only do so much and guests (particularly rude or stubborn guests...) are going to do what they want anyway. That being said - I think some signage will help - positioned at the entrance to the ceremony. Plenty of ideas on Pinterest for that. And also if your officiant can make an announcement about it at the beginning of the ceremony, that will help too. And spread the word a bit pre-wedding weekend as well. Put the 'we kindly request' announcement on your wedding website if you are having one, and ask your parents to help spread the word to the older relatives - like their siblings maybe...in hopes that it trickles down a bit. Or at least, no one is surprised when they are told to keep their phones off on the wedding day. (you can also put it in your program if you are having one and you think your guests will be reading it pre-ceremony as they sit/wait...) (Usually I don't like a ton of signage everywhere at weddings, but this is a good one because it's directive. And sometimes it takes a few times to get people to actually follow the directions - so reading it and then also hearing it from the officiant is your best bet.) *Links we mentioned: * http://www.dreamalittledreamevents.com https://www.acorns.com/ https://creditcards.chase.com/marriott/cardmember/rewards_benefits https://www.ally.com/ Zola.com/bigwedding for $50 off your registry! Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast FACEBOOK GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TBWPP/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Weddings are a special day, and though you want them to be beautiful and picturesque, it is also important to create a unique experience and long lasting memories. Aleah and Nick Valley of Valley and Co share about their favorite wedding experiences, their coffee table book "Storied Weddings," and give loads of great advice on how to make a great day no matter how big the wedding. Big Takeaways You are not planning just a photoshoot, you're planning a memory. Great pictures are the ones that are taken at a great event. You want to enjoy the memories for life. It's so helpful to make the event for everyone. Help your guests find the lay of the land right away. Where are they sitting? Where are the bathrooms? Where should they hang their coats, etc? Maybe have greeters who provide a beverage upon arrival and answer all these questions. If you are planning on giving favors at your wedding, think about whether the guests can use it or eat it. If not, then think about using the money on something else to make the big day special. Small mementos are not make or break and should be an enjoyable possession after the wedding is over. Links we referenced https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/storied-weddings-aleah-valley/1127704592#/ https://www.valleyandco.com https://www.instagram.com/valleyandco/ https://www.facebook.com/valleyandco/ *Quotes * “Every wedding of ours, we really strive for them to look and feel completely different than the last wedding. We want our weddings to reflect our couples.” - Aleah “We really wanted to create something that anyone could pick up and they could read it now and look at the pictures now. And take our sage advice and advice from fellow pros that we included in the book.” - Aleah “The more fun the guests have, the more fun you have, the more successful the event is.” - Nick Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast FACEBOOK GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TBWPP/ INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Michelle and Christy record together from LA - to frame the narrative for their Boston visit earlier this year to emcee at WED 2019. We were also lucky enough to meet many of our Boston listeners at our first ever Meetup and it was so fun!! We had a wonderful time at WED - an interactive, educational experience as the emcees. We also got to record live with attendees (and some of their moms!) at the event and we loved it! We hope you enjoy this special, bi-coastal episode. Big Takeaways: Get a month of coordinator for distant weddings. It helps to have someone on site to get the details taken care of! If people are traveling to your wedding, a camp is a great option! There are lots of activities for the guests to enjoy, and everything is right there in one place. Bridal salons can be a great solution when finding a dress has become a nightmare task. You should enjoy that process. Look back on the weddings you or your parents have attended, to see what did and didn’t work. Use whatever resources you can so you don’t go in blind. If you are bringing your own alcohol, you may be able to return what was not used. As long as there is no damage to the packaging. Pay for good lighting, it’s worth it. Qouotes: “You’re the crazy glue that holds us together.” - Christy “My mom keeps making fun of me, that I feel too confident in all my decisions. She’s almost nervous about it. But because I listen to the podcast, I feel like I know what I should be looking for. I know what to expect out of vendors, what’s realistic to ask of them, and how to dial back on my chronic emails to them a year in advance.” - Kelsey “One of the other things about closeness is to be able to laugh. And I think it’s really hard to laugh when you’re under one of the most stressful conditions which is thinking about your marriage and wedding and all of that. It should be joyous.” - Kate’s mom “Purple being your favorite color is reason enough to incorporate it. It doesn’t have to be deeper than that.” - Christy Links We Referenced: https://www.instagram.com/prepofboston/ https://www.tartine-eatery.com https://www.charlesrivermuseum.org https://www.marriott.com/hotels/travel/boswh-w-boston/ https://www.experiencewed.com/speakers

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Brenda and Mason have been through a lot to get to where they are now: newlyweds celebrating each day they have together as a married couple. In this episode, a couple shares their individual stories of transitions that led them to each other, and explain what marriage means to them. Big Takeaways Self realization plays a huge part in the love story of Brenda and Mason. Each came to their true identities later in life, although they took pretty opposite roads to get there. When they met, they fell in "love at first sight." The journey from there to the altar was brief. But the journey to self love that each of them took prior to that first date was the more profound step to their happily ever after. You know the old saying - you can’t love someone else until you love yourself. Or something like that...you know the one. The vague platitude has never been more true than in Brenda and Mason’s case. For many LGBTQI couples, a wedding day has a different meaning and tone to it. First of all - the guests there may be a chosen family, as in Brenda and Mason’s wedding. And the act of marriage itself - the choice - carries a ton of meaning, because it wasn’t available, legally, even a few years ago. Marriage is not something that transgender couples take for granted. It is not an inevitable decision, to enter into marriage, like it is for so many straight cis-gender couples. Mason summed it up beautifully when he said that for him, marriage means family. It’s simple and it’s vital. It means that when Brenda and Mason go out together as a couple, today, living their truth, they don’t feel questioned. It means that Mason beams with pride every time he refers to Brenda as his wife. It means that they ride in the same car when caravaning to an event. Each has chosen to transition in life, and each questioned whether a traditional wedding and marriage would ever be possible. It is. And they never take it for granted. This episode is personal and we feel honored to tell their story - or rather, to listen as they tell it. Visibility, representation, and equality are all important to us and we’re proud to use our platform to reflect that. We sincerely hope you like this episode as much as we liked producing it! Links we referenced www.indochino.com promo code BIGWEDDING (any premium suit for $359!) Quotes “I ended up on my knees and I prayed to God. God what is wrong with me?” - Brenda, on life before transitioning "I had all these preconceived notions. And after I realized that the preconceived notions about myself were wrong, I had to learn how to live again. And so I just listened. And as I was immersed in this new world, I listened. And it was amazing." - Brenda “Now I look back and everything makes sense, but at that time, it was very confusing.” - Brenda “I always envied people that could get married. I knew we couldn’t do that.” - Mason “To me it feels like, when you have that bond, you make that commitment, you sign the paper, you become a family with that person. You are viewed from the outside world as a family. We’re together, we’re married. It’s accepted.” - Mason “With him it was very natural, he’s the first guy and the only guy I ever kissed.” - Brenda “I wanted to be with Brenda and I didn’t want someone else to snatch her away.” - Mason “Some of the trans men go into the straight world and live, but I always found the gay community accepting, and a lot more fun.” - Mason “I like being able to be myself.“ - Brenda Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Today’s episode is a You Ask, We Answer, as is our end-of-month tradition. Housekeeping Our website has some new features! One is a mailing list. Click Here sign up for emails and news from us! Also, it has a ‘search’ option. You can search for specific topics and find out what episode will answer your questions. Give it a shot! We also have a facebook group now full of great advice, and community! Also - we offer consulting and it’s awesome! Email us if you want to book some hours in June or July! FB Group Question Room Flip Ask: Hey brides! My entire ballroom is being flipped during my cocktail hour (about 1.5 hours). The ceremony with 200 guests will be turned into the reception room with ~25 tables, dance floor, 2 buffets, etc. My venue manager seems nervous about this but my month-of coordinator is very confident in the flip. As a bride, is there anything I can prepare ahead of time to make sure this goes smoothly? How did you organize your decor to make it easier for the staff/wedding planner? Thanks! Answer: The main goal is to make everything as easy as possible for the staff. Big notes: Use low centerpieces and decor so that the table can be carried with the piece on top. Do not take post-ceremony photos in the reception space, get all of the guests and wedding party out of the room as quickly as possible! If the manager thinks they need to add an extra person to ensure the smoothness of the transition, I suggest paying the uncharge. If you can, repurpose parts of the ceremony for the reception (ie- altar becomes cake area, etc.) In general, just make sure everything is ready to go before the ceremony, so that the staff is able to use your cocktail hour to make the space perfect. Email: Red Flag On Vendor Contract I was reaching out because we were reading their contract and came across what we believe is a red flag. The contract had a "disparagement" clause, which I'm sure you guys may have seen when reviewing contracts? I dug a little deeper and wanted to get your opinion on some of the things I realized. I guess in the excitement and the fact they worked for Disney Weddings previously (I love Disney and used to work their too!), I didn't ask all the questions I should have. I'm going to ask these at the contract review, but I realized or assuming it seems they're actually new to the local scene. I asked during the interview process what their favorite wedding was to work on and they named a stylized shoot they did in town, which was beautiful and how I actually found them - which is how I think they're getting themselves out in the market. They must have partnered together after working with each other at Disney? I can't seem to find any reviews and I want to believe it's because they're new to the scene or it's because of the disparagement. But with a disparagement it prevents negative reviews and I can't find negative or positive reviews - they're not even on WeddingWire or the Knot. I figured even with a disparagement there would still be positive reviews, but I haven't seen any. That being said, the disparagement is still not good. I figured they picked this up from Disney because while Disney has a special place in my heart, they're still a corporation. I might be making excuses, but I really like them. Based on their stylized shoot, I was really expecting them to be out of my budget, but again because I think they're new to the area their proposal wasn't bad, fueling my assumption now. I know I should be running from this but I really thought it was meant to be until I saw the disparagement. If it's not something that can be removed or revised - J does not want to work with them, which is fair. I'm going to ask again in more detail about their experience, so maybe they'll be willing to negotiate, but besides that do you have any advice on how to go about pushing it in that direction? Answer: I don’t love this clause - I do think it’s a red flag. It’s also an amateur mistake. Some disparagement clauses are actually illegal, depending on how it’s written. A styled shoot is very different from a real wedding. I have LOTS of opinions about styled shoots. (We may make it our next bonus ep rant). They aren't even close to running a real wedding. I'm not saying that this company won't do a good job - but it won't have anything to do with their styled shoot experience, which is why it's concerning that they named that as their fave. Everyone has to start somewhere. I am a way better planner now than I was when I first started, that's only natural. But I was pretty cheap when I started, and I was transparent about my experience with every one of my couples that first year. I worked my ass off and learned a lot. This company could do a great job for you, but you absolutely should ask about their actual wedding experience and to see some of their work if possible - not photos, but timeline examples, set up lists, stuff like that. Just because they worked at a company like Disney doesn't mean that they are great wedding planners. I agree that you should ask them to totally remove the disparagement clause. Ask more questions, write some out. Vet them a little. Ask for a couple references. I provide potential clients with a few email addresses of previous clients if they ask. Email: How to THANK Parents Ask: First off, I just have to say I love listening to your podcast! I started listening randomly to different episodes a week after I got engaged and it has helped my fiancé and I so much when it comes to everything weddings. It also helps me get excited and dream about the wedding when I’m at work. Not very many people at my job really want to talk/hear about weddings so I don't really get to talk weddings during the day, but listening to you guys makes me feel like I’m talking to my girlfriends and just getting excited! So thank you!!! Anyway, I have a question for you guys that I was hoping you could answer. My parents and my fiancé’s parents have helped a lot with our wedding that is coming up on October 12th of this year. My parents are paying for about 3/4 of it and have actually had a wedding fund since they knew they were having girls. They are so excited about it and also the best supporters ever. They never ever ever push their opinions on us and when we ask them for their opinions always want us to decide what my fiancé and I want. They are supportive through everything, listen to us talk about the wedding and even contact people for us. They were exceptional when it came to the guest list and only wanted us to invite who we wanted, they were so good I actually had to get stern with them to tell me who they wanted because I want them to have the people they want to be there. Anyway, I can’t say enough nice things about either of our parents and feel very lucky. My fiancé and I would like to thank our parents somehow during the wedding or on the wedding weekend. I have thought about maybe paying for our moms to go the spa or something like that and I definitely want to make a very short thank you speech during the speeches of the wedding. But can’t think of anything else, do you guys have any suggestions for ways to thank parents at weddings? Things that you have seen or done yourselves? We just want to show them how much we appreciate them in some way even if it’s a little thing that we can do. Thank you again for any help you can give in advance, I know you are both super busy and I really appreciate the time you give to all your listeners. Answer: Hayley! Thank you so much for this email. We get SO many emails from listeners having a hard time with their parents during wedding planning - especially the paying/pushiness topic. Or people have really sad, difficult things going on with their parents and are struggling with whether to invite them or not! You are so very blessed to have the parents you do and it is clear that you don't take that for granted! I love this email. Ideas: Include them in toasts on the wedding day - making sure everyone there hears you thank them profusely for their support and love and also for hosting the wedding will be very impactful. A spa day for your moms - or arranging something similar for them to do (maybe together?) the day before Consider paying for the day-of hair and makeup of course. A written thank you card - to each parent, from both of you, will be a lasting impression and I am always pro-thank-you-note. Other fun ideas: Include the songs your parents danced to at their own weddings as a surprise - tell the DJ to announce that it's a special song and why. Display their wedding pictures at the wedding, or a current photo of them together is also a nice touch. Perhaps share why they’re so special to you. Write out a thank you paragraph to your parents and put that in the ceremony program so that everyone can read it as they are sitting waiting for the ceremony to begin, and it's something your parents can keep afterwards. Lots of options! All will be very appreciated, I'm sure. Hope this helps! FB Group Question: Friend as Day of Coordinator Ask: Unfortunately, we are unable to afford a month-of-coordinator for our November wedding. We have a close family friend (who is organized) that was gracious enough to fill in for that position on our wedding day (so lucky). Does anyone have advice for what I’ll need to do to prepare and help her prepare for the big day? I want to make sure this is as seamless as possible for her. Thank you in advance!! Answer: (Answers from Christy and other recent brides/grooms!) Working on a full day-of timeline with her is the biggest priority. This will include every vendor's arrival time, start time and end time, plus day-of contact info. It will include the time that the venue is yours, the time the party ends, and the time strike must end. If the venue has given you any terms/conditions/rules, make sure you pass those on to her. The other big thing is the Ceremony Layout - it's like a map/guide that she will use to help facilitate the rehearsal and then she'll have it in hand when she is lining people up and cue-ing them for the processional. This layout should include the song selections for processional and recessional, plus any reserved seating assignments in the first two rows. -C Some advice would be to have a detailed day-of timeline for them. Don’t forget to include who to take pictures of in case you need to organize people for family photos. Help them know who the family members are and introduce them to key vendors. Also, if they have authority to make decisions for you, let the vendors know. Oh, and make sure family and friends know to contact them and not you if you want that separation. Be prepared to enforce that if necessary. And lastly, appreciate and recognize them for their hard work. - Christopher (we consulted with him!) One of the most useful things I’ve seen is putting decor in boxes by area and setting them in that area first thing- so people know exactly how many string lights you want on the patio for cocktails and how many in the fabric reception backdrop, for example. Also sending a photo folder to your DOC of how you want things set up. It saves bunches of time and questions! - Mandy, listener Links we referenced Our sponsors for this episode! https://www.zola.com/bigwedding Join Our Facebook Group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/TBWPP/ Join our Mailing List! (https://thebigweddingplanningpodcast.us20.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=73b281d3b49edeed803564358&id=8d8072f453) Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Birdy Grey has revolutionized the hunt for the perfect bridesmaid dress. After realizing the accessibility, and quality of bridesmaid dresses didn’t reflect the price, two best friends, Grace Lee (formerly of InStyle Magazine and Kate Spade New York) and Monica Ashauer (of McKinsey and Co, and Ralph Lauren) started this company offering beautiful, well-made dresses for under $100. Big Takeaways There are 15 styles and 15 colors to choose from, meaning that every dress can match without having to try to fit different bodies in one style dress. The dresses are made to be easy to tailor, so find a style you love and adjust it to your height preference afterward. The lining of the dresses feels like a t-shirt, soft and flattering, so you don’t have to be wishing you could change out of your dress the whole night. Also, all the dresses have pockets big enough to fit an iPhone X, so keep your flask, your blotting papers, anything without adding any extra bulkiness. Quotes "Monica and I are best friends, but we are completely opposite in skill sets... She has the exact sort of complementary skill set to mine." - Grace "A lot of the clients that I served were in beauty and in luxury, so I really started to gravitate towards that, because it's so much more fun than semiconductors." - Monica "Now you just tell your friends, I won't be your bridesmaid, but I'll certainly give you a dress." - Michelle "We try to keep it real at Birdy Grey. You're probably not going to wear a dusty rose or blush ruffled dress again, after the wedding. I will say that we do have some pieces in our collection that lend itself nicely to other black-tie events." - Grace Links We Referenced Birdy Grey https://www.birdygrey.com/ The Princess Project http://princessproject.org/get-a-dress/ Project Sunshine https://projectsunshine.org The promo code! BIGWEDDING for free shipping from now - June 27,2019 (US only)

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The idea of designing a wedding is stressful! We’ve all been down a Pinterest hole or two, consumed with ideas and inspiration that just lead to more confusion and anxiety. Thankfully, there’s Kasey Kyprianou, a wedding designer, to help bring your significant other and your authentic selves into your big day. Through getting to know you on a more personal level, Kasey is able to transform your wishes into beautiful designs for everything from invitations to signage and more. Big Takeaways It is so important to have elements of what you love in your wedding. Even if you are bound by a budget, or by desires from family that is helping pay. The imagery and designs that Kasey makes can come with you to your florist and your cake designer and be used in every element to create a cohesive day. Custom design is around 5-10% of the overall budget. This number gives Kasey an idea of what and how much she can do. The baseline includes a three piece standard invitation, and there are many options for add-ons up to a full service custom design suite. Tips Think about what you love as a couple Reflect on experiences together that bring you joy Every element could matter, be yourself and enjoy the process Don’t let yourself be shamed, if you love it, use it, it’s your big day Links we referenced https://www.revelryandheart.com/ facebook.com/groups/tbwpp instagram.com/revelryandheart/ facebook.com/revelryandheart pinterest.com/revelryandheart/ https://www.facebook.com/revelryandheart/videos/vl.1491326007642819/691910450997725/?type=1 Quotes “A lot of couples get stuck, initially, on approaching it from the wrong direction and that’s what really gets them tied up.” - Kasey “Getting to know my couples is really where I get every ounce of my inspiration.” - Kasey “My mantra is that we follow hearts, not trends.” - Kasey “When you get something that’s an invitation, that is so the couple without it being a physical picture of the couple, like damn I have done a good job.” - Kasey “I’ve given you all the tools, now fly out of the nest yourself. You can do it.” - Christy Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Kasey Kyprianou.

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No matter where you are in the wedding planning process, the idea of also planning a honeymoon is exhausting. Of course, after the big day, you want nothing more than to celebrate with your partner. And thankfully, there are people who can help! Our guest, Irina Vishnevskaya works tirelessly to help plan the perfect honeymoon. Irina is part of Alle Travel, a spruced up version of a travel agency. They make it easier for newlyweds, and others, to plan the perfect getaway. Big Takeaways Don't skip the honeymoon because you're too worn out from planning the wedding. Even if you don't know exactly where you want to go, Alle Travel can work with you to put together the perfect trip. From day one, they take the stress of planning off your hands, and let you just enjoy the ride. Use points from your credit cards to book a flight! Understand your budget so you know what will not stress you out. And since their agents are not paid on commission, you can rest easy knowing that you are going to get the biggest bang for your buck! Quick Tips - Sign up for a card like Chase Sapphire right now, so you can begin saving points for the big trip. - Think about your budget, and what you like. No one should be miserable on their honeymoon because they spent more than they wanted. - Definitely have a honeymoon, everyone who didn’t have one wishes they did. - If you can, purchase international flights about six months out, that is the sweet spot for pricing. - Let your travel planner do the hard work, so all you have to do is show up. - Don’t let a monkey steal your birth control! Quotes “It’s lovely that you are making a living at being a travel agent. But you’re so much more than a travel agent, you’re planning people’s entire experience.” - Michelle “People would come to you because they are savvy and they do have the money and they want to take the honeymoon, but they just don’t have time or bandwidth to figure out the best way to do it.” - Christy “The first question is the where. And if your where is flexible but your budget is a little bit more fixed than that’s a really good place to start the conversation.” -Irina “Bali always delivers. It’s just because it is so budget friendly.” - Irina “You were eating top ramen for four months after that wedding.” - Christy “I love yapping about this, as you can tell. Even if someone doesn’t end up working with us, I answer emails from my heart.” - Irina Links we referenced https://scottscheapflights.com https://www.hopper.com https://flights.google.com https://www.zola.com https://alletravel.co/about/ https://www.instagram.com/alletravels/ Special Guest: Irina Vishnevskaya.

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We have both had our share of clients who have big plans to lose weight or tighten up in the months before their wedding. You know, the time when you are busy working, and planning a wedding, and dealing with family AND celebrating being engaged...all in a short, pressure-cooker timeline...not the most optimal time of your life to successfully change your diet and workout routine. But nevertheless, sometimes new habits are formed during wedding planning, in a GOOD way, and these changes can set you on the path to a happy, healthy life with your partner, as a married couple. Our guest this episode is Lauren Fowler - she is a Certified Eating Disorder Registered Dietician and a yoga instructor. She’s talking with Michelle about Body Positivity and self-acceptance and the struggle, the journey and the basic premise of health and wellness. Big Takeaways Don’t let the crazy wedding-day expectations get you down! Or flustered! Or feeling fatalistic about the whole endeavor! Social media can be a big trigger. Styled shoots online can be deceptive, so can the photos of gorgeous weddings that we are inundated with while wedding planning. With decor AND photogenic couples...please don’t play the compare-game. Being the best version of YOU is what’s important, not aspiring to be someone else, or look like someone else just for one day. Your partner fell in love with YOU, remember? Happy couples are gorgeous couples! Make decisions during wedding planning that will help you feel comfortable and confident on your wedding day. It’s natural to want to look your best on the wedding day (hello, that photographer wasn’t cheap!) but we encourage you not to obsess. Don’t go down the rabbit-hole of self-hate or despair. It’s not easy, but if you check in with yourself and reorient when you need to, you’ll be better off in the long term, and also meet your short term goals in a healthy way. Don’t think of your wedding day as the finish line for weight loss! Lauren’s go-to resources for healthy living: A certified dietician can help you get started, maybe a nutrition therapy plan ‘Intuitive Eating’ - helping to build internal awareness about when you’re hungry and what your body needs...being mindful about eating Work out a strategy with a certified dietician that are realistic and convenient Body Positivity - find a community! Hey! On your wedding day, EAT! Seriously - as wedding planners, this is on our day-of list. You’d be shocked how many people don’t eat at all on the big day Links we referenced https://www.indochino.com (promo code BIGWEDDING) https://dressanomalie.com - custom gowns, for all bodies! https://www.laurenfowler.co https://www.instagram.com/laurenfowlerrdn/ Quotes “I fell in love with being able to help people not only with their physical well-being, but also their mental well-being. Those things go hand in hand.” - Lauren “Let’s reframe is and focus on health and well-being with your future spouse. Let’s focus on sustainable, healthy habits before the wedding that will last after the wedding. And those may or may not have anything to do with what you look like.” - Lauren “Educate yourself on nutrition and adjust your lifestyle, rather than ‘diet’.” - Michelle “There are crazy, unrealistic photos of amazing weddings all over the internet and all these big platforms and we’re like - dude, that cost a million dollars! Those aren’t our weddings! Those aren’t our listeners!” - Michelle “Your body doesn’t have to be the most important thing about you. There are so many things about you that matter...your humor, your kindness, you compassion. All of that matters more than what your body looks like.” - Lauren Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Lauren Fowler, CEDRD.

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It’s possible! Some people prefer to plan their wedding in a short amount of time rather than musing over all of the details for a year or more. Who are these people? How do they do it? What makes them successful? Our guest today is David DiVincenzo - event director at Planterra Events in Detroit, and he is very experienced working with couples that opt for a short timeline - for various reasons. He’s breaking down all of the tips, tricks and best practices for us. Here’s the bio: David has been directing events for Planterra clients since 2010. He designs every aspect of a Planterra event – from its menu to décor, floral needs and every detail in between - to make his clients’ visions come to life. David brings with him 15 years of professional experience in arts fundraising, programming and event planning. He has worked at such prestigious places as Pace MacGill Gallery, the Noguchi Museum and one of Estee Lauder’s family foundations in New York. David is a graduate of both Albion College and Brooklyn College. He also attended the Atelier Léo Marchutz in Aix-en-Provence, France. In his free time, David has developed a deep understanding of wine and art. He’s also Planterra Conservatory resident pop culture expert. Big Takeaways TIPS and TRICKS for short term wedding planning: · Choose a full-service venue (like Planterra!) If not...definitely hire a planner! And then trust the planner. · Be ready to make decisions quickly · Consider a Friday or Sunday date · Have your guest list in order · Consider invitation needs immediately · Have or be prepared to choose your wedding attire · Be open to exploring multiple options in terms of photographers, DJ’s etc. Your first- choice vendor may be booked. Also trust your venue for additional vendor recommendations. Ask them to make introductions for you by email or telephone · Make sure that the funds for the wedding are in place and accessible. You may have significantly larger retainers when booking with 90 days of a wedding date and your payment schedule is accelerated. · Embrace that you are planning a wedding in a shorter period of time. Be open to some of the wonderful, more spontaneous aspects of planning this way and NEVER dwell on something you “might have had” – be it a Saturday, a certain vendor, or anything else, had you planned 2 years out! If you are considering planning a wedding in a short amount of time - ask yourself (honestly) - are you, as a couple, decisive? On the same page about your wedding day vision? Ready to jump in and get shit done? Do you think you have a pretty good gut instinct and feel confident leaning on that? These are the qualities you need to have! More to keep in mind: It helps a lot when you trust the vendors. Be flexible and ready to compromise when necessary. Trusting and choosing the right wedding planner. Choosing a venue that offers a full range of services. Time Saving Guidelines: Create digital Save the Dates to send immediately Offer a digital RSVP to save time for attendees Depending on the services offered by a venue, hiring a wedding planner can be key in making wonderful things happen in shorter timeframe. Instead of menu options, duets entrees can save time and streamline the RSVP process Be prepared for multi-tasking meetings with the venue and vendors Have your questions set in advance and be ready to move forward with decision-making and planning efficiently. You can consolidate meetings and work with vendors to move quickly. No hemming and hawing about options and choices. You know what you want! Go for it! Links we referenced https://planterraevents.com https://www.instagram.com/planterraconservatory/ Quotes “Here’s how I think we can make this work: and we went through some of the big picture ideas. Are they ready for it? Are they ready to make real decisions? Can they really pull their guestlist together? How OPEN are they to this experience? They were the perfect couple for this. And they were like - yes, whatever we need to make this wedding happen on this date...we’ll do it. We made it happen.” - David, on the couple that can pull a 90 day planning period off “To do this, you need that rare combination of knowing what you want, but also being flexible.” Christy, in a nutshell “I think the hemming and hawing can take up so much time and space with wedding planning and it’s really not necessary.” - Michelle “If you want to plan your wedding on the quick - for whatever reason - ask yourself...do you have a full time job? Do you have the TIME to plan a wedding in three months? Remember, you still have a real life.” - Christy Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: David DiVincenzo.

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Welcome to Spring! Today’s episode is a You Ask, We Answer, as is our end-of-month tradition. Housekeeping - our website has some new features! One is a mailing list. Click Here (https://thebigweddingplanningpodcast.us20.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=73b281d3b49edeed803564358&id=8d8072f453) sign up for emails and news from us! Also, it has a ‘search’ option. You can search for specific topics and find out what episode will answer your questions. Give it a shot! Also - we offer consulting and it’s awesome! Email us if you want to book some hours in May or June! Big Takeaways 1 Call - “Indian Wedding ideas?” Ask: A traditional Indian wedding takes 3 days and involves hundreds of guests. This dear listener is planning one and she wants to know if we have any best practices for her. Answer: The main answer is that we hear you and we want to do an episode with a true PRO at Indian weddings. So we are working on that, and stay tuned. “You’re both Indian and your families are Indian - so it sounds like most people there will know whats up - they will be familiar with the traditions and the flow of the event. If there will be guests there that aren’t it’s worth thinking about ways to make them feel welcomed and a part of things as well.” 2 Email - “Indian bride and opinionated mom” Ask: I wrote to you both earlier when my fiance and I had just gotten engaged about how to incorporate both of our cultures into our wedding weekend and I'm writing to let you know that we took your advice and are planning to have a few Indian elements in a generally western-styled wedding. We are having a sangeet the night before the wedding which will function like a welcome party where we will have Indian food and music. We are also getting married under a mandap and are planning to incorporate a few Hindu rituals into our ceremony, such as the septapadi (circles around the fire) and jai mala (garland exchange). While we are so excited for our wedding day and love all of the ways we are planning to join our cultures, we are having a hard time finding common ground with my mom. It started small at first, but I feel as though my day is being more and more taken over by my mother. Examples are, I wanted to walk down the aisle by myself (I'm hoping for a very feminist wedding), but my mom convinced me to have not only my dad but also her walk me down the aisle. I wanted to have a small bridal party so that the morning of the wedding would be relaxing and fun, and my mom is now inviting all of her sisters/cousins to join the getting ready/photoshoot portion of the day before the ceremony. We even bought pajamas for all of her sisters. Most recently, our guest list has completely blown up, mostly with distant relatives (or relatives of relatives) and family friends because my mom claims that her hands are completely tied and she just HAS to invite all of my aunt's in laws and their family (whom I barely know and haven't spoken to in over 12 years). My parents are paying for the wedding, so I'm conflicted on how to handle this. And even if I were to make a big deal out of it, my mother does not concede easily, so I think it would just be exhausting trying to explain that my fiance and I were hoping for an intimate wedding with close friends and family and what we're getting is a giant party with 200+ people, most of whom we don't know or care about (sorry, that's the truth). Do you have any advice on how to handle this situation? And/or how to make our large wedding feel like an intimate affair? One thing my fiance and I have discussed is writing our own vows, but I feel very awkward sharing such an emotional and intimate part of our relationship with a bunch of strangers. Answer: I suggest trying to look at the sangeet day and the wedding day as two different events and hopefully, you can keep the wedding day as the less chaotic of the two. (Can 'getting ready' on the wedding day be with a limited amount of people and more what you had in mind? Tell your mom what you want and that's the compromise - Friday night is more 'her' and Saturday needs to be more 'you'.) You're going to have to start putting your foot down on things that really matter to you. You've already conceded a lot - with the guest list blowing up and having both your parents walk you down the aisle...I don't think you can really do much about decisions that have already been made and agreed upon, without causing too much drama. But the future decisions, or the pending ones...these are the ones that you may need to draw a line for. Always mention how much you love and appreciate her, but that you have a DAY in mind and you feel like it's becoming something totally different and that makes you sad. You do want it to be about you and your fiancé. You want to celebrate and acknowledge your parents, and you are grateful, but it is your wedding! Other tips: - I love self-written vows. BUT - don't share this part of yourself and your love if it makes you uncomfortable. I suggest doing a 'First Look' and really taking the time during the wedding day to make this special and private. Block out 40 minutes or so after you get ready. Your photographer and videographer should be there if you have hired those vendors. You can see each other for the first time without 200 people staring at you. It's intimate and personal and it may be the only time all day that you two are essentially alone and have time to sort of take it all in. After the actual reveal, you'll have time to read your vows to each other then, and to take photos just the two of you, in a calm atmosphere. - Do make getting ready and celebrating (a pre-party...) your wedding day with your best friends something that you don't budge on. This is a really special time and it makes the day feel more YOURS. Even if you have to start early - before all the crazy starts - tell your gals that you want to relax with them and maybe get pampered together. Make a playlist, have mimosas and breakfast brought in...make it what you want it to be. Your friends will help you! - At the reception, don't worry about doing a receiving line or a table visit to every single table. Make a plan ahead of time - after you eat, you want to hit up tables 3, 4, and 5 because these are the tables with family members you really care about that you haven't seen in a long time, or that you want to make sure to hug and talk to before the night is over. You don't need to do that with every single guest - it takes too much time and it can feel obligatory and not fun. Your mom may invite a bunch of people you barely know, but you don't have to experience the wedding day with them in a big way - you can still spend time with the people that are most important to you two without feeling pulled in a million directions. This just takes some planning ahead of time! - Give a toast on Friday and thank your parents profusely and in front of all of the guests! This will maybe help your mom ease up and relax on the wedding day....she can entertain 'her guests' and you can focus on the parts of the wedding day that are important to you and that you have been looking forward to! 3 Email “Fur babies at the wedding” Ask: I don't want to bombard your social media outlets with questions, but have you two thought about doing a Quick Focus! or an episode on ways to incorporate your fur baby into the wedding (aka pet)? Our wedding is at a hotel so we cannot bring our sweet little pup but are thinking about naming our specialty drink after him. But I am sure there are some cool ideas/examples out there of how pets were incorporated into weddings. Answer: Yes we will do a QF on this topic!! Specifically with some best practices for including your fur baby on the wedding day (like PJ and Noah did with their two beloved dogs - as discussed in ep #119. If your pup isn’t going to be there - you can involve them in photos (displayed engagement photos, your photo album that guests will sign, just a framed pic of the dog honoring him??) We’ve seen cats or dogs included on custom cake toppers, menu names - like your idea of naming a specialty drink after him. And signage - cute custom graphics - we love the ones by Miss Design Berry (ep 91). Save the dates, welcome signage, poster for guests to sign...all with a drawing of you two and your dear pets. 4 Email “My family is a little bit racist” Ask: I have a potential dilemma that you two seem perfectly suited to help with given your sensitivity to LGBTQ couples (although my fiance and I are in a heterosexual relationship) and cultural groups, so I'm hoping you can help me out. Some of the members of my family are very conservative and half of my family was explicitly raised to be racist. My fiance is black and I'm white, so there are definitely some members of my family who will not approve of our marriage (or at best might consider him "one of the good ones"). The problem is that I'm not sure which family members are the ones who would be that way. It doesn't really come up at family get togethers, but I'm aware of it because of my mother's upbringing (my mom is great, accepting of all people, and supportive). I know that some members of the family have rejected this like she did, but I don't know for sure everyone's stances. I made sure that our save the dates included a picture of us so that people could hopefully weed themselves out in responding to the wedding invitations when they go out, but I'm not sure if there is something more I should do. Giving people a warning that they'd better behave themselves or explicitly telling them that racist views will not be tolerated at my wedding seems rude (even though that is true), especially to those who do not feel that way. Also, one of my bridesmaids and one of my fiance's groomspeople are a married lesbian couple. They will be walking down the aisle together in the processional and I want to make sure that they are accepted for the wonderful people that they are. I won't allow anyone at my wedding to be mistreated because of their race, sexual orientation, or anything else, but is there something I can do in advance to prevent the possibility that won't be rude of me to those who don't deserve it? My wedding is taking place hundreds of miles from where the potential problem people live and they are generally lower income, so they might not be able or willing to make the trip (which is by design), but can I somehow communicate that a "yes" on the RSVP means that they will be expected to be supportive of all the people involved, regardless of their race or sexual orientation? What do I do if they don't get the message and treat the people we love poorly? My inclination is to simply kick them out despite the travel because I really don't feel that bigotry should be tolerated under any circumstances, but is there a way to prevent the issue or a good way to politely tell people that their presence is no longer welcome? Answer: I am so glad you wrote in and I think you are wonderful for being so concerned about these issues specifically. I know exactly what you are saying and dealing with - it sounds like we have similar families. When my white lesbian cousin married a black woman, several family members declined to go and they were able to say it was because of finances, when we are all pretty sure it was because of the offensive double-whammy in their minds. Better not to have them there! Also best to let them make their own decisions. Here are some thoughts: You did due diligence in several ways to trouble-shoot this all before the wedding even happens. Good job sending out a pic with the STD, and good job hosting the wedding far away from where problem people live. You are correct that this will weed some relatives out. I don't think there is a way to make sure people that say they are coming know what they are going to get themselves into, so to speak. Or a way to make them promise to behave. I have to believe that for most people - if they say yes to a wedding, then they will behave once there. I DO suggest you talk to your mom and the other matriarchs/patriarchs of the family about your concerns, if there are some that you trust. Not in a mean way, but in a firm way - that you are worried that if Uncle Bill sees two women kissing on the dance floor that is he going to make a big scene and be a jerk, for example. Word tends to get around in a family and if word doesn't get to Bill - it may get to you that others share your concern and in that case, you can not invite him, or you can bite the bullet and actually talk to him to make sure that he knows he has to keep it together on the wedding day, or you would prefer he not be there. You don't want him to be uncomfortable...but you really don't want anyone else made uncomfortable bc of his bs. I also suggest that you talk to your fiancé about this and to the gay couples that are going to be there. Tell them you don't think anything negative will happen, but that IF something did happen, or if someone was rude or awful to them, that you would want them to come up to you (or the planner) so it can be dealt with immediately. I think you should let the photographer in on it as well - nothing that is going to make him think there is a KKK rally at your wedding, but that you know you have some relatives that aren't 'progressive' enough and that you want to know if he sees or hears anyone being inappropriate. Photographers tend to see and hear more than we do at weddings and some would consider to intrusive or a bad decision to actually tell the bride about any guest troubles. You strike me as the kind of bride that would want to know so you can nip it in the bud. So, your photographer needs to know that. You can do it! I want you to enjoy your wedding day, not be on high alert to play bodyguard and a live wire waiting for someone to say something that you can pounce on. Enlist the help of the pros you have hired, and your VIPs that will be close to you all day long on the wedding day. And hey! Maybe this problem will solve itself and they'll all politely decline the invitation, citing distance and work and money. Fingers crossed! Links we referenced Our sponsors for this episode! https://www.zola.com/bigwedding www.sagebridalexperience.com www.gilbertsvillefarmhouse.com Join our Mailing List (https://thebigweddingplanningpodcast.us20.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=73b281d3b49edeed803564358&id=8d8072f453)! Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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If you’re wondering how to buy some of the DIY elements at your wedding for cheap, or what the heck to do with all of the chargers, linens and vases that you bought for your wedding, this is the episode for you! Jodi Colella runs a hugely successful facebook group – Pittsburgh Wedding Community – which began in 2012 as a local resale group. Turns out there’s a huge demand for wedding items and lots of people were arranging parking lot meet ups to buy and sell wedding goods. (Now there’s over 28,000 people in that group!) The idea for a Pittsburgh Wedding Flea market was born. Now Jodi’s been producing these events for a few years and the last one had almost 1500 people attend to shop. Cost saving for buyers and sellers…plus less waste all around. We love it. Big Takeaways What are sellers usually selling? Themed items that all go together - signage, tabletop decor, etc. Matching items, or bulk items also go - in bulk, which is nice and convenient. You may have purchased 50 cheap glass vases or mason jars for your wedding day. You won’t make a ton of money selling them, but you can make some (better than nothing!) - and you can get rid of it all ‘to a good home’ so to speak! Package deals often all go in one shot. Biggest hint for sellers: You need to price your items to sell. Like - at least 50% off what you paid originally. 50% is a good place to start. 40% would go even faster. Sellers are making 300-800$ depending on what they bring in. It’s worth the cost of a table at a flea market and you aren’t throwing a bunch of shit away or storing it in your garage for years! It’s a win/win. Guess what doesn’t sell all that successfully? Wedding dresses. Check out our consignment shop episode for help if you want to resell your wedding gown. But keep in mind, that designer dresses are usually the only ones that get picked up. Consider donating to a non-profit! Handmade items can pick up a pretty penny at the resale markets. Jodi sees a lot of DIY stuff at her markets. If you are creative and made signage and decor for your wedding and it all looked great on your wedding day, then you can probably sell them all to someone else to use the same way. A lot of the sellers bring photos of their weddings so that buyers can see how things looked all set up. With flowers - DIY weddings use a lot of silk and faux flowers that can easily be repurposed and sold. Sometimes Jodi sees the same arrangements circle back a third and fourth time! As wedding planners, Michelle and Christy have thrown away pounds and pounds of beautiful flowers after weddings. If you opt for faux flowers, you may be able to resell them afterwards. Instead of letting your planner trash them all. Links we referenced Jodi’s flea market website: https://weddingfleamarkets.com https://www.gilbertsvillefarmhouse.com https://www.instagram.com/sagebridalexperience/ https://www.morelabs.com/pages/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast Quotes “There’s some people in the group that have been there since it started. Which I love because they’re giving advice and they’ve become almost mentors to those that are getting married.” - Jodi, on her massive wedding community facebook group “I’ve never been to a legit flea market before. So I wouldn’t know what to expect, but I guess if you’ve been to one before, you come prepared!” - Christy “You’re not going to get what you paid for it. Go in with a realistic expectation - 40-50% off the original price. If you do that, you’ll have a great experience.” - Jodi “I call it a Bridal Black Friday because they are in and out in 2 hours. It’s fast and furious.” - Jodi “The one thing I’m coaching them not to sell is their wedding dresses. A resale event is not set up for dresses, it’s set up for decor. It’s a rushed event, not a wedding dress shopping experience.” - Jodi, instead she suggests using a dress consignment shop or online market Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Jodi Colella.

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Meet the guests! The team behind StopGoLove: Jared Haskell founded StopGoLove with Jason after moving back to New England from a production company in Texas. Both his curiosity and competitive nature drove him to tackle weddings after success in shooting music videos, live television, and documentary work in multiple countries around the world. Professional excellence and seeing couples thrilled with their StopGoLove experience is of the utmost importance to Jared. Jason McCutchen believes that there’s no point in doing something if it can’t be the very best. That has been StopGoLove’s motto since our humble beginning in 2010. After hearing way too many wedding day horror stories, Jason and Jared teamed up to see if they couldn’t do any better. Jason is a natural student and educator; it’s one of the reasons StopGoLove is an industry leader when it comes to new technology and shooting techniques. Every year around January we ask ourselves three big questions. What do people want? How can we do it better? How can we do it faster? This attention to detail extends throughout the entire StopGoLove process, but ultimately our success or failure comes down to the end product delivered to your doorstep. Is it forever-proof? Will it last the test of time? Will it be something that your kids will want to watch over and over? It’s what drives us, what keeps us sharp, and what makes our product a StopGoLove product. We take each bride and groom’s wedding day extremely seriously. We see relationship playing a huge role when finding out what is important to a couple and in making unique and personalized imagery. We are fast and we respond in a way that is both timely and helpful. Have questions? Feel free to ask at any time; we’d love to help. Big Takeaways Videography is often an element of the wedding day that gets nixed, sometimes due to budget, and sometimes because people have an idea about videographers that isn’t positive. But videography and wedding cinematography has come a long way, baby! In this episode, we talk a lot about why we love videography, how the best videographers work with clients, and what to think about if you are going to hire a pro. See up in the introduction - 4th paragraph - it mentions that StopGoLove is fast, responsive and helpful. This is HUGE! If you call 3 videographers and 2 get back to you within a couple days, and 1 takes two weeks...don’t even waste a second considering that third company. Wedding professionals need to run their businesses like BUSINESSES - even if they consider themselves artists. If they don’t respond to your initial inquiry quickly, then corresponding with them will be an arduous process the entire planning time. Trust us on this one. And on the note of artistry...we talk to the guys about how everyone you hire to be on your vendor team for your wedding day is just that - hired help, on a team. We should all have the same goal - to make your wedding day run smoothly and to give you what you have asked us for. With videography - the style of the product matters, because that is what you will have left when the wedding day is over, the product. The video. Make sure you like the style of the products you are seeing with the videographer, before you hire them. This way, you won’t be trying to get them to tell your story in a way that is outside of what they typically do, or what they are good at. You have options - find a videographer that you have a good repor with, whose style and vision and production value you like, and who offers affordable packages...whatever any of these mean to you. Questions: Ask a prospective hire how they operate on the day of. How do they work with photographers? Where are they physically during the ceremony? What kind of lights do they set up (ask to see a picture)? What do they wear on the wedding day? How do they back up and store the files after the wedding day AND day-of...are they constantly backing up and charging? These are important questions and every potential pro should have answers at the ready. Plus, you have to like the videos you’ve seen and know the plan when it comes to the timeline after the wedding...how long before you get the product? And how long does the company keep your files? Songs! Licensed songs cost money. Sometimes a lot of money. So picking a couple artists that you love and asking the videographer (and then trusting them) to pick something in that style or genre is a best practice. (You aren’t going to have a Stevie Wonder song on your wedding video, sorry.) Links we referenced http://www.stopgolove.net https://www.instagram.com/stopgolove/ Sponsor alert! https://www.indochino.com Quotes “I feel terrible physically. But I feel equally as bad for myself. Like, I’m the biggest baby when I’m sick. I just want someone to take care of me and no one ever takes care of me. I need my mom!” - Christy, residual self-sympathy “There’s something that you get from videography that you don’t get from still photography...like your grandma, you get to hear her speak, you get to see and hear her and maybe you won’t get to for too long!” - Michelle, on her go-to reason for videography “Music is probably the first thing about our product that I think sets us apart. It’s what we do a little differently - our editing style and the way we use music.” - Jason “Adding products at a later date allows clients to spread out their payments a little more.” - Jared - something to think about if budget is a concern “We’re not clinging to our ‘vision and our art.’ We have an approach and we have a look, our brand is in the look. There’s art in the systems. It’s creative problem solving.” - Jared and Jason on art vs business “This is what I know. I can promise that in twenty years, I will not be watching your wedding film. But you will. You’re going to pass it down through generations. So I want you to have as much say upfront for what’s included...it’s not artist’s discretion. We want to make it right for you. So that the first time you see it, you love it.” - Jared “Don’t just look at their website - cause that stuff is all their best stuff and it could be 10 years old. Look at their social media.” - Jason, good advice “During a ceremony, we are as unobtrusive as possible. We defer to the photographer, we give the photographer the middle aisle. We stay off to the side. We’re shooting on long lenses, so we are working with a tight and compressed shot...we’re out of the way, backed off and zoomed in.” - Jared, you won’t even know he’s there “Do a little research. It’s not always as cost-prohibitive as you think it is.” - Christy Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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There are SO many cool examples of lucky symbols, tradition, and rituals in this episode, and Eleni’s book goes into detail about all of them...from burying a bottle of bourbon one month before the wedding, to tucking a penny in your shoe...there are plenty of ways to cross your fingers and wish on a star about your wedding day and DURING your wedding day. Fun stuff! A novelist and journalist who spent three years as the Executive Editor at Martha Stewart Weddings Magazine, Eleni Gage was struck by the fact that every engaged couple wants the same thing: a meaningful, one-of-a-kind wedding and a lifetime of happiness. But so many of them don't know where to start when it comes to planning that unforgettable day and filling it with significance. Having earned a degree in Folklore and Mythology from Harvard University, she decided to change that by writing Lucky in Love: Traditions, Customs, & Rituals to Personalize Your Wedding. A collection of cross-cultural connections from all over the world that focus on bringing luck to couples getting married, it's also a guide to planning a day that is unique, auspicious and utterly personal in the best way possible. Or, as Eleni likes to say, "A wedding is equal parts planning and magic. There are plenty of books devoted to the planning. This one brings the magic." She's joining us from New York, where she lives with her Nicaraguan husband—whom she married in not one but two ceremonies on the Greek island of Corfu on 10.10.10—and their two Greekaraguan children. Big Takeaways Eleni grew up in a big Greek family and incorporated a lot of those traditions into her own Big Fat Greek Wedding. She studied folklore in college and learned that most rituals in life happen around transitions...life changes, when there is a lot at stake. We develop rituals to help us think we have control over things we don’t have control over. No matter what religion you are, everyone believes in LUCK, to some extent! At the very least, no one embraces bad luck, so a wish for good luck is just natural. It’s more than just ‘Something Borrowed, Something Blue, Something Old, Something New’ - but this is a fun little rhyme that everyone seems to know about (for good luck in the marriage), at least in America. What’s the background of it? It’s an old English rhyme and it represents the past, the future, the community and then blue is a symbol of fidelity and it’s also a religious color. Also, the rhyme continues to say ‘And a sixpence in her shoe’ so brides would put a penny in their shoes for fortune and financial security. A wonderful ( and easy) place to incorporate some family or cultural traditions is in the ceremony: the wedding vows themselves or the actions during the ceremony, like hand fasting. Experience your wedding day WITH your village, your tribe. Everyone there is there for a reason. It’s quality, not quantity! Let your guests in on some of the fun traditions you include! These things don’t need to have a lot of weight...if you like pie and you want to have pie in your wedding instead of cake and there’s a reason you both love it so much...put a little note about the pie recipes on the table, or a cute sign about how you ate pie on your first date. Let people know why you love it so! Food can be meaningful if you put together a deliberate menu for the reception. Wedding cakes, for example, represent fertility, traditionally, but also they can be a wish for a sweet life! Salt brings longevity, honey brings sweetness, fish and pomegranates are lucky. Embracing the aspects you like about wedding traditions might make the day even more meaningful for you. Or! You can turn symbolism on it’s side with some of these traditional things...do it, but do it your way. It’s not just what you serve, it’s how and when you serve it. Colors! There’s a whole chapter dedicated to color in the book and it was one of our favorites. Here are a few examples: Blue is a big color in religious paintings and is also a color that ‘fights the evil eye’. White is associated with light, goodness, innocence, purity, and virginity (yep). You get the picture. If you have your heart set on certain colors for the wedding, you can look up what those colors symbolize - just so you know! Links we referenced Buy the book! https://www.amazon.com/Lucky-Love-Traditions-Customs-Personalize/dp/0525573909/ref=sr11?keywords=eleni+gage&qid=1554245442&s=gateway&sr=8-1 Eleni’s site: https://elenigage.com More Labs, Morning Recovery: https://www.morelabs.com/pages/the-big-wedding-planning-podcast Quotes “I wrote my college application essay about growing up and my Aunt reading my future in Greek coffee grounds. She would use it as an opportunity for mind control and say what she wanted to happen.” - Eleni, on how her family bonded “You can pick and choose. You think that’s cool? Put it in your wedding! Make it your own.” - Christy “It’s not about taking a ritual from another culture and adopting it wholesale. It’s about looking at the parts of it that inspire you and working it into your wedding. Make it meaningful and personal to you and do it in a way that your guests’ recognize.” - Eleni “I think looking through the course of your relationship is a great place to start with both writing a ceremony script, and also to find threads that go through your relationship that you have noticed and then you can mine and bring them out in your wedding.” - Christy “Thinking about breaking bread...there are a million ways to do it and lots of cultures have an element of this.” - Christy, on elevated carbs “A wedding is an excuse to offer hospitality. And every culture has the same underlying themes. We want our children to be happy. We want to offer hospitality. We want love and luck and beauty and to be with our friends. And that is really inspiring.” - Eleni Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Eleni Gage.

Lucky in Love: Traditions, Customs, and Rituals to Personalize Your Wedding

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1 voicemail and 3 emails will get you through this month’s YAWA! You ask, We answer. Also, we both suck at Irish accents, but at least Michelle gave it a whirl! Hey - we see you instagram followers! Thank you for following us there and for leaving reviews on itunes and for becoming PATRONS! We love you. Thank you for listening to our podcast and embracing our crazy. Big Takeaways Question #1, is a Voicemail - “Guest Count due early! And is it too small of a wedding?" Ask: The guest count is due a month out at the venue, but the RSVPs are barely due back by then. We may have a procrastinator bride on our hands! (Admittedly.) How to navigate? And is this listener’s wedding going to be awkwardly small? Answer: We agree with each other on this one: a month out is early for a guest count deadline! We think you can call the venue on the deadline and let them know that you are working on it, if need be. We also think that you need to call some guests that you haven’t heard from and just ask if they think they can make it or not. No shame in that game! If they say no consider promptly inviting someone else (B list?). There are pros to having a small wedding! Don’t worry too much - it’s quality over quantity! Question #2, Email - “Dress Regret” Ask: My fiance and I went and got wedding dresses a while back (yes, together). It was great, and we both ended up getting dresses right on that day (without going to other stores). I actually got the first dress I tried on, and I absolutely love it. Her dress is beautiful as well. In store, she loved it. We get home, and she's very upset. She's nervous it is way too sexy. It has a low cut, and she is worried about what people will think. She has a bigger chest than the women who model the dress, and so yes... Her boobs are on display. We went to our lady to get our first fitting done last night, and our tailor showed her that the dress didn't fit exactly how it should. When she pinned it how it should be, it wasn't AS sexy. Her cleavage is still there... But not as much as it was previously. But she's still big time on the fence about it. She loves the dress, just not sure about the boob part. We tried a few different things to make it less revealing... But she didn't like any of it (neither did we). She wants to go look at other dresses so we can exchange if something different catches her eye. Is there any way to make her feel more comfortable if she chooses to stick with the "sexy" dress? I'm not really sure what I should do here. Answer: The back and forth sucks! We think she should go return the dress and take her time to find a dress that she loves and feels confident in. I personally know that confidence counts for A LOT on your wedding day. You want to feel beautiful and comfortable and be so confident in what you are wearing that you don't even think about it. No matter what she does with this first dress, she doesn't love it and she isn't going to be able to stop worrying about it and thinking about it on the wedding day - which is not what you want her mind to be on and it's not the best case scenario for really enjoying the wedding day for her. I suggest you support her and listen to her and even though you are complimenting her telling her that she looks beautiful and you love her in the dress, she is feeling pressured. The important thing to tell her is that you truly want her to be happy and you support whatever she decides. Ask her if she wants to go look at other dresses without you - or if she prefers you to go along. And reiterate that you will happily do whatever she wants to help make this process easy and enjoyable for her. Question #3, Email - “Parents helping pay and making decisions...” Ask: My parents are wonderful but live about 4 hours away and as the oldest daughter/granddaughter on both sides of my family, mine and my fiance's wedding is something that they are very much looking forward to. Since we've started the planning process, I feel like I have been struggling to figure out exactly what it is I want since my parents have very big opinions and have no reservations about voicing them. (One example was when they saw how many of our friends were on the guest list my mother's response was "friends don't bring the big envelopes for gifts"). My fiance and I are very simple people and want a traditional wedding with our own personal style reflected (and we are still trying to figure that out). That being said, my parents are contributing to the wedding and so I feel like if there is something we don't have as strong of an opinion on, I kind of defer to them since they seem to care so much. Meanwhile, my fiance wants me to stand up for what I want (and I want to do that too!) but it's hard to do when we don't really know what it is that we want. Answer: As far as figuring out how you want your wedding to go...I suggest you and your partner think about and talk about how you want the day to be...how you want to feel during the day, what you want to be able to look at in your photo album years later and fondly reminisce. Think about other weddings you've been to that were really fun and memorable. It's usually not about the gorgeous flowers or the killer band. It's about the personal touches that made everyone there feel like they were part of a special day - a special event. It's a big thing you are doing together - you're starting the part of life where you journey together, it's a deliberate decision you are making. You are inviting all your loved ones to be a part of that decision for you - to witness it and to support you on your wedding day and in your marriage. So don't stress out about the dozens of decisions you have to make...always come back to you TWO. Thinking about songs - just make sure all your favorites are there, don't over-think it. Create a day that you can truly enjoy. That being said, it's not just a day for you two it is also a big day for your parents. Since they are footing some of the bill, I appreciate your impulse to just let them make some decisions that you don't really prioritize. Only do this though if you can truly LET GO when you give them the power to make decisions. Choose not to micro-manage because you'll drive yourself crazy. Put your foot down about stuff you really care about (or that your partner really cares about) and let go of the other stuff. I think the main way that parents 'get the way' when they are paying is with the guestlist. I don't think you should nix anyone from YOUR list, but they will get to invite who they want to because they are paying. Also I think it's nice to give some accommodations for the ceremony part - maybe with who is involved in the processional, has reserved seating, does a reading...things like that are really important to parents because they want to be seen on the wedding day too. Question #4, Email - “Cash registry wording” Ask: My fiancé and I have lived together for over a year and we have everything we need at home already, and quite frankly, neither of us want to deal with the clutter of storing more stuff. We have decided it would be a lot more meaningful for us to take a long, extended honeymoon traveling Europe for a few weeks and would like to only have a cash registry to help fund that trip. Personally I feel like being upfront and transparent with our guests about the intention for the fund is best, but my fiancé feels that it may seem greedy to have a registry for something “unnecessary” like an extended honeymoon to Europe. He would rather have a cash registry titled something along the lines of “life together” fund and be a bit more vague. What are your thoughts on this? Any suggestions or past experiences you could offer? We’re using Zola, which as you know, is incredible and so easy to navigate. Answer: I agree with your fiancé on this one that it would be best to be more general about what you want the money for. With Zola, register for just a few things that you know you can use for the honeymoon - luggage? Airline gifts or miles? And then do the rest as a cash fund on Zola. On your wedding website - if you are doing one - you can go into more detail for the guests that are curious about it. You can say - "We decided to have a cash fund registry so that we can save money for our honeymoon and start our life together as a married couple" You don't have to name the fund anywhere. Guests will understand once they see it if they go to the Zola site to see your registry - and if they've gotten that far, then they WANT to buy you a gift and a cash fund through Zola is just as easy and appropriate as purchasing a gift of the site. You're not being sneaky, it's still transparent, but it doesn't explicitly commit to spending the money on a honeymoon over other newlywed necessities. Links we referenced https://www.zola.com/bigwedding Quotes “Michelle tells me I’m good at things so that I’ll do them. It’s true! I need verbal affirmations and she gives them to me.” - Christy, on the nature of the relationship “Just imagine that for every hour of the podcast that you hear, there has been no fewer than 100 texts between us. Not necessarily about the show.” - Christy, on communicating with Michelle. It’s a lot, y’all! “It’s all about you! It’s all about you listeners. The You Ask, We Answer episodes are ALL ABOUT YOU, BABY.” - Michelle, with the mission statement for YAWA eps “We read the reviews. We read them when we need to...when we’re having a bad day. You guys are fantastic for taking the time and if you haven’t done one and you’re able to, please do. It helps to lift our spirits and makes us love you even more and it also helps us get the word out to others and to grow our audience and we need that!” - Michelle, on iTunes reviews “A wedding is only as much fun as the two people getting married so be prepared to have a fucking great time and all your guests will too.” - Christy, advice that covers everything! “How lovely that your fiance is looking out for you and how lovely that your dad wants to spend time with you and you are just wrapped up in all this love and sometimes it can cause conflict.” - Michelle on conflict resolution gratitude Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Writing a toast or a wedding speech - or your VOWS can be daunting. You want to be personal yet universal. You want to be yourself, and also write something profound and relatable. You want to be honest and funny and touching, but you don’t want to cry all over yourself when you say your vows, or give your toast. The pressure is on! This episode is all about the toasts/vows/speeches. It’s about how to put pen to paper, to edit and curate, and to stand up and proudly speak your words to a room full of people. Here’s her blurb: Over the past year I've fallen into a little sideline writing and adding comedy to all kinds of speeches, especially wedding speeches. I've ghostwritten nearly a hundred best man speeches, grooms' speeches (popular in the UK and Australia,) father of the bride speeches, toasts for the rehearsal dinner, speeches for friends and family acting as officiants and on two occasions, I've even ghostwritten the vows themselves. I've helped clients find crowd and couple-pleasing laughs amid family feuds, felon fathers and fundamentalist congregations. I've brought introverts out of their shell and reminded extroverts that it's a wedding, not a Comedy Central roast. Most importantly, I've learned some fairly universal wedding speech best practices that I'd love to share with you and/or your audience. Big Takeaways Can we just take a second to appreciate that Beth has written for Ellen and the White House Correspondents Dinner?! What. So awesome. A couple basic rules from Beth: A wedding toast should be about 2-5 minutes long. You want to entertain everybody in the room - you want them to have a good time. Help everyone remember why they are there. It’ a toast, not a roast. Rehearse a few times! And remember - a laugh is what brings people in, but you don’t have to keep people laughing the whole time. Lastly - come from a place of love. (One more ‘rule’ - don’t get drunk before you give the toast.) Let the people toast! Our take: if someone you love wants to stand up and give you a toast on your wedding day...let them. There are so few times in life that people stand up and verbally shower each other with love. And you should take when you can get it. Beth has a list of questions that she uses to draw out information when she is working with a client to write a toast. She needs to get a sense of the person writing the toast, and she needs a sense of the couple being toasts, and how the three people are tied together. And the basic structure is the introduction, the meat of the speech, and then the actual toast. Remember that the introduction is important so that no one listening - maybe someone that doesn’t know you - feels left behind. If you’re asking someone to give a toast at your wedding - tell them that it can be 1-2 minutes long! A guideline will help someone that might feel a little nervous about it some confidence to say yes. If you’re giving a toast at a wedding - be sincere. That’s Beth’s #1 ‘best practice’ tenant. Tell your story and the humor will come out organically. Sit down and jot down some notes without a structure. These notes will eventually become your toast, but when you are just starting out, don’t worry about the final product. When giving your toast - introduce yourself and acknowledge everyone. How does everyone there know the couple? Who are you? How do you know the couple? What do you remember about when your friend told you about the new girlfriend…(his now wife)? Links we referenced https://takecareof.com http://www.bethsherman.com *Quotes * “The trend is that the rules are going out the window. You are doing whatever you want! You’re doing readings and song lyrics and you’re having your interesting friends pick their own interesting readings for your wedding. So - this is for you!” - Christy “If you want to kill it in your vows...you might need a professional’s help.” - Christy, like Beth! “Friends have always asked me to punch stuff up and I had helped friends write their best man speeches and I thought maybe there’s a market for this. And it turns out - there is!” - Beth “You don’t want to hold everyone hostage with a 45 minute toast.” - Beth “If you’re having trouble trying to figure out what you are going to say...talk it through with someone else.” - Beth Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Beth Sherman.

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Episode 133 White Ink Calligraphy *Special Announcement! We’re heading to Boston for March 29-31, 2019. We are hosting a meet up on Saturday, March 30! Email us if you can make it and we’ll give you details. Claire White is a Nashville based owner of White Ink Calligraphy. It started as a side hustle but has since grown to her 2nd full time job. (That’s right, she works full time as an attorney.) She has been practicing pointed pen calligraphy for over 4 years now and has been working under her brand name for 2 years. Her work is gorgeous, y’all. Check out her website and insta - links below, of course. You can see the different styles that Claire specializes in and how calligraphy can be used for so much more than just addressing invitations. Although that is a very nice touch on those invitations! It’s traditional and beautiful and stylish and elevates all signage and paper products. We love it. And we’re pretty fond of Claire too. Big Takeaways Most of what Claire does is signage for weddings and invitations and the other part of her work is special custom projects for clients. Like welcome signs for wreaths and family names for large blank walls and song lyrics for a child’s nursery. Fun stuff! The sky is the limit! Claire has a few distinct styles, a modern lettering style with some block letters mixed in (you’ve definitely seen this style all over instagram at weddings lately - like the last 5 years. Think wood plank welcome sign.). A copper-plate style (traditional cursive - more formal, old world style). And Claire’s signature style is sort of a combination of the two. A lot of times, the rental is necessary too for signage. Claire also has an inventory of stuff like this...wood planks, mirrors, frames, etc...for her to write on. Calligraphy and rentals together! Claire asks for the seating chart list the Wednesday before the wedding. Because changes happen! That’s why she only does seating charts for local clients. $2.50/envelope for front addressing. That gives you an idea of pricing...the more she writes, the more you pay. For a large sign that Claire has to do on-site, it’s approx $150/hour. It’s surprising to hear how affordable to large format pieces are. Maybe something you see on Pinterest is actually attainable! Links we referenced http://www.whiteinkcalligraphy.com https://www.instagram.com/WhiteInkCalligraphy/ Quotes “Your hands don’t get tired? My hand gets tired and I’m just texting!” - Christy to Claire “Calligraphy is an art. A lot of people don’t understand that. They think that every calligrapher should write the same way.” - Claire “I can knock out a 300 person seating chart in an hour.” - Claire “I don’t think I can do anything in an hour.” - Christy “The best projects are the ones when the planner gives me freedom.” - Claire, and we agree! “I think there’s a lot of misconceptions out there. A lot of people think it is a font, that it’s not done by hand. The time it takes...people don’t understand that and that is where the cost comes from.” - Claire “It’s very old school. Very traditional. But it’s pretty fucking cool and relevant now. It’s timeless!” - Michelle Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Claire White.

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Is it possible to pay for your honeymoon (or at least the flight and hotel accomodations) using points you earned when you spent money on your wedding? Yes! This episode breaks down how. We’re happy to have Keith King on the podcast because we too need to learn about our credit cards! Miles, points, travel hacking - woohoo! Keith King is quickly rising the ranks as a blogger, and freelance writer. The travel bug was planted in him when he was young. That was when his love for planes started. It continues to this day, as it led Keith to become a licensed pilot. His other love is writing. After all, it's what he does for a living AND a hobby. He's a TV news executive by trade. At KeithKingReport.com, you'll find Keith's experiences with travel, budgets, and more. The goal for this blog is to make sure you can do more than just live to work. Rather, we want you to work to live. Keith's first book, Cracking the Code to Travel Hacking, was published in November of 2017. A great read if you're interested in jumping into the world of travel hacking with credit cards. Big Takeaways Disclaimer: It’s super important that we mention a few things here. We are not affiliated with any financial institutions or credit card companies! We’re speaking from personal experience and it’s very limited! Keith King is a hacking and travel expert and his opinions are his own. Don’t come back and blame us if you rack up thousands of dollars in debt on credit cards and wedding planning! Even credit cards that give you incentives and points are ONLY worthwhile if you pay them off every month. The interest incurred for a balance due will never be less than the rewards or points you are getting. There is a reason why credit card companies make money! Don’t be that reason. And don’t spend a lot of money on your wedding that you just don’t have. Unless you are ok with debt and interest piling up and in that case, do you. We encourage you all to always pay off your credit card statements! Who would this whole thing work for? Responsible adults who pay off their cards on time! If you are in credit card debt, or if you can’t pay off your debt in a cycle or two, you shouldn’t apply for a new credit card. Pay off the debt you have and then once it’s clear, you can get the card with the points that you want. Also, it will work specifically for you if you love to travel and plan on traveling on flights and staying in hotels for your honeymoon! Double awesome if you also want to host your wedding in a hotel. _Cards that are awesome for the ‘starter hack’: _ --#1 suggestion right now - Chase Sapphire Reserve and/or Preferred - depending on the card -- 2 or 3 points per dollar at restaurants and travel (good card to use if you're reception is at a restaurant). You can transfer these incentives to the travel partners like hotels and airlines. Super easy to use, Michelle loves it. --Chase Freedom Unlimited (1.5 points per dollar on everything) --Amex Gold (4 points per dollar on dining and supermarkets) --Barclaycard Arrival Plus (cash back) --Capital One Savor Cash Rewards (cash back) What about points with a specific airline credit card or hotel affiliated card? Pretty much every airline has a branded credit card, so if you get that card and spend money on it (and pay it off), then you get points to spend on the same airline for flights. If you know where you want to go on your honeymoon - find out the major airlines (and their affiliates) that go to that location and then consider applying for that credit card a year or so out. You can spend money on the credit card throughout wedding planning and for any flights you take during the wedding planning phase. Then you’ll be able to collect enough points for at least one round-trip flight to your honeymoon destination. Most of these airline cards have a great starting incentive (50k points on the AA Barclays card, for example) - just read the fine print. You may have to spend and pay off a certain amount in then first month or three. Oh! And Southwest is flying to Hawaii now! Hotel branded cards...most hotels have them. Check out the newly rebranded Marriott card - it’s called Bonvoy. SO many hotel chains are a part of the Marriott family now. They own Starwood now. If you can honeymoon in the same hotel that you host your wedding at -- like get married at a Marriott Hotel in SF and then honeymooning at the Ritz in New Orleans...you can get upgrades and incentives because you are spending so much money with the chain. When booking your wedding at a hotel, it helps with negotiating and room rates if you are a card holder. Hilton and Hyatt have cards too. Getting married at the hotel that you have the credit card at is a good way to get incentives on both ends. Maybe you can get your suite for the wedding weekend upgraded because you are a card member. And then you are also collecting a lot of points for your honeymoon, because you are spending a lot of money on the reception at the hotel. You’re spending the money! Might as well get some freebies out of it. Links we referenced http://www.keithkingreport.com/ - he has a book! And a great blog too for travel hacking and travel tips. https://twitter.com/The_KeithKing Quotes “There are three main types of credit cards you can use for travel hacking. Airline branded cards, hotel branded cards and general points and dollared cards that you can use.” - Keith - starting with the basics “So for 60k American Airlines miles, you can get two round trip tickets to Europe in economy. That will save you over $3500 on the flights alone.” - Keith, BOOM. Two flights to Paris “What I would recommend doing if you are just beginning the process...I would sit down and make a schedule of expected payments. This way, you have a schedule of when money is due and apply for your card accordingly.” - Keith “If you’re going to spend anyway for your wedding and you have money in the bank to pay off your statement balances, then it’s definitely something to consider.” - Christy, summing it up “So if you’re getting married at a venue that isn’t one of these branded hotels and you know you are going to be spending a lot of money, the best card to get is the Chase Sapphire Preferred.” - Michelle, in a nutshell! “We’re constantly talking about all the money being spent, being spent, being spent on a wedding and here’s a way to get something out of it! So, this is awesome.” - Michelle Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Keith King.

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SURPRISE! BONUS EPISODE. Today’s guest is entrepreneur Mattie Bush - who started a flower truck in Nashville and is killing it! Flowers and weddings go hand in hand, but in this episode, we are digging in a little deeper and talking about unique ways to incorporate flowers into your wedding - in an action station way. Something for guests to do and create and leave with...and it’s beautiful and makes for a great photo op. Flower Trucks, flower bars, DIY bouquets....enjoy! Mattie is a young entrepreneur that started Amelia’s Flower Truck in Nashville less than 3 years ago. What started as a modest idea to make flowers more accessible to Nashville, has now turned into a three truck operation and she has just recently opened up her first Brick & Mortar in Franklin, Tennessee. Big Takeaways Favorite flowers to work with garden roses - high petal count, gorgeous colors like violet and burnt orange. Perfect for a couple on a budget. They’re similar to peonies, but less expensive and sturdier. MVP bloom? The most popular stems are limonium - a sea-lavender. Blue-lace limonium is Mattie’s favorite. It is full and sprays and looks gorgeous combined with other, more delicate blooms. Trust us, you’ve seen it in plenty of arrangements and bouquets, but you didn’t know what it was! Silver dollar eucalyptus sprays are very popular too, in garlands and arrangements. (If you’re DIY-ing flowers, make sure you see if they are not poisonous before you stick them in a cake…) The Volkswagen truck appeals to young and old, men and women. Mattie knew she wanted something iconic and timeless. The trucks are fully operational and they have a canopy that comes out - perfect for the flower truck. She joined the floral community and the VW community! Flower Bars at a wedding are SO fun! It makes for a great photo op, like we mentioned above, but a flower bar at a wedding kills several birds with one stone (pardon the analogy…). First, millennials love unique experiences at weddings - a flower bar is tactile and entertaining and inviting. Plus, it definitely adds to the decor of an event. And - the guests get to take their creations home, so you have the favor taken care of! What’s not to love? You can book the full flower truck for a wedding and just use it as an awesome photo backdrop, OR you can book the truck for an event and guest’s can create their own flowers. Amelia’s will include vessels and vases if the client wants them, but most clients keep the truck as an action station for favors. (Rather than building centerpieces for the event itself.) Flower Bars at other events related to the wedding - hello! Perfect for a girls weekend retreat activity or shower. Baby shower! They can do crowns and bouquets. (And not just for girls, of course.) This business is perfect for elopements and pre-wedding photos. City Hall weddings, small intimate weddings...go to the truck first and create your own bouquet! There is something so appealing about those galvanized French buckets. We think there is something romantic and personal about a hand-picked and put together bouquet. The flowers on Amelia's truck are all curated for the truck, but each person that comes up to it gets to pick their favorites and put it together themselves. This is why the customer service experience is more important to Mattie than the floral experience itself - people come to this truck, they seek it out, because of the experience. At the end of this episode, Mattie goes into a little about the history and reputation of flowers - Queen Anne’s Lace, Mums, babies breath and King Protea...oh my! Links we referenced https://ameliasflowertruck.com https://www.instagram.com/ameliasflowertruck/ Quotes “I started managing a snow-cone truck and I was the operations manager. And that’s when I realized I could run my own business.” - Mattie Bush on the entrepreneurial bug “I was not in the floral industry at all before I started with the truck. I’ve learned everything as I’ve gone along.” - Mattie “I feel like people are dying for connection and to make things with their hands...it’s all about the experience.” - Mattie “It’s also a good idea for the people who aren’t having dancing at their weddings. So they want something unique and different for guests to do...like at a brunch wedding. This would be perfect for a brunch wedding!” - Michelle “More brides are asking for low-key and modest bouquets. They tell me they want it to look like they just picked fresh flowers themselves.” - Mattie, trend alert! “King Protea are such a statement piece. Modern and cool and edgy. Really heavy. They’re kind of alien-like, I think.” - Christy, Mattie says they’re from Australia Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Mattie Bush.

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Kathy Thomas is AWESOME. We love talking to photographers on the podcast and we’ve had a few episodes with guests that are professional wedding photographers. Kathy has great advice for hiring a wedding photographer - stuff we haven’t heard before. She even surprised us with some of her tips and tricks - specifically for couples heading to their initial consultation with a photographer. You know, the meeting where you decide if you want to hire this photographer or not! It’s important! We talk a lot about how this decision isn’t just about budget. There’s more to it, much more, and Kathy is showing us the way...she’s wise. We loved having her on the podcast. Kathy Thomas Photography began 5.5 years ago after Kathy moved from NYC to Orlando. She has been named one of the Top 3 photographers in Nashville, and only wedding photographer by Nashville Scene while also having been nominated twice for RangeFinder Magazine 30 Rising Stars of Wedding Photography Worldwide 2 years in a row. Kathy’s photography is influenced by 17 years in luxury fashion retail. She brings her love for fashion, beauty, architecture and the art of craftsmanship into her wedding style. Her goal is to never be trendy, yet timeless, modern, stylish and romantic. She has shot weddings in seven countries and over 14 states. Kathy also mentors a number of wedding professionals and believe in building other up and when we all win that is the real success of this industry. Big Takeaways A photographer’s ‘ideal client’ for weddings is a couple that trusts the photographer. Kathy knows she will be a great fit with the client when there is an immediate connection between her and the couple. You can’t fake that connection. She takes the initial interview as a way to really get to know them. She is clear that a client (couple) has to let her in for the relationship to work, and the product to be what the client wants. Nashville is a cool mix for wedding styles - there are places that elicit pride for locals, or people raised in Nashville. There are historic venues, the music industry, high budget minimalistic wedding style, huge wedding parties and elaborate entertainment at weddings. You are HOSTING a wedding...implement the skills of your favorite hostess in life. How does a great party feel? How can you ensure that your wedding feels that way? In Nashville, the weddings are more traditional (and bigger) than other places in America...and a value is placed on the idea of ‘hosting’ - people take pride in how a guest experiences the wedding weekend. Families are involved. Heirlooms and family traditions are present...and a photographer needs to know about these things so that they can make sure to shoot them! Pricing...we know it’s vague with wedding vendors and we know that it’s frustrating! Kathy has a starting price for packages that she is transparent about with clients upfront. Pricing can go up from there. In general, if a couple reaches out and the first thing they talk about is pricing, Kathy knows that they likely won’t book her. Not a good fit. (Good rule of thumb...if the photographer you want is more than the event rental fee, you may not be able to afford that photographer.) An engagement session is important! It allows the photographer to get to know the couple. It helps to start with a cocktail! (She is not the first photographer that told us this.) But Kathy doesn’t consider the engagement session totally necessary. But the face-time is what’s really important. So if you aren’t going to have an engagement session for some reason, make sure you at least get to have one face-to-face meeting with the photographer. You need this familiarity. Things you can ask your photographer (before you hire them!) And do a little research ahead of time so that you are prepared for different answers... * What camera equipment does she use? * How does she back up her files? * Does she bring extra equipment and backup batteries etc on the wedding day? * What’s up with the assistant? Is the assistant a second shooter? Will Kathy review and oversee the assistant’s photos after the event? Does the assistant have their own company? Can you see the assistant’s work too? * Do you edit the photos or outsource that service? * How will the time be spent during the wedding day? (Like half and half with bride and groom each getting ready, for example) * Will you create a wedding day timeline for us? The important thing is to be forthcoming and honest! Links we referenced http://www.kathythomasphotography.com/ https://www.instagram.com/kathythomasphoto/ Quotes “We’ve been very efficient here in Nashville. We’ve been getting shit done.” - Michelle “We keep hearing that Nashville is the place to come for weddings!” - Christy “Millennials are into unique experiences and I am too. I don’t blame them one bit. You do this once, you hope. You do it once... and this is that one big kabam to get everyone together to celebrate in a big way. And with everything going on in the world, it’s becoming more and more important. My couples specifically care about the experience and they care about what the experience is like with my photography team. They want to entertain their guests. So everything tends to be a little over-the-top.” - Kathy Thomas, on priorities “I love the dynamic of a huge wedding party. I love it. I live vicariously through their weddings a little bit.” - Kathy doesn’t want to shoot an intimate ceremony on a mountain top...she wants a huge ass wedding in a gorgeous church with lots and lots of bridesmaids! (I mean, she loves big weddings is the point.) “I have a pretty lengthy interview process. I either want to meet with them in person, or we’ll have a good hour long talk on the phone. This is your opportunity to talk to me, and for me to talk to you. I tell them often that the imagery of mine that they see, I can’t achieve that unless there is trust there.” - Kathy on booking clients. There has to be a connection. “If a couple doesn’t really touch each other in the hour that they meet me, they probably aren’t my people.” - Kathy, intuition! “Most of my weddings have a full planning planner and the planner and I are getting paid about the same.” - Kathy, as a reference point for budgeting Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Kathy Thomas.

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YAWA! It’s a good one this month. We’re talking about everything from lesbian wedding processionals to boring transportation timelines, to ex-girlfriends...and everything in between. We’re starting this episode off with a voice message and ending with a bang! We love these episodes and we love you. Keep sending emails! Big Takeaways Some of these questions need way more than a quick email response and a spot on YAWA! SOme of them need a deeper dive. For those questions and more, we are here for you one-on-one! If you want our attention for a full two hours of consulting, hit us up and we can schedule a video chat meeting. 2 hours, $200. Easy peasy! So valuable and fun. Announcement! Wed 2019 - We are the emcees for this day-long educational wedding event in Boston. Join us! (links below). We are SO excited about this event and trip. PLEASE LET US KNOW IF YOU WANT TO MEET US FOR DRINKS ON SATURDAY, MARCH 30 IN BOSTON! WE’RE PLANNING A MEET UP. Voicemail Questions! - Lots of questions about getting around for our destination wedding and also - wth is a cocktail-style reception? Ask: To summarize the question about transportation from this bride...almost all of the guests are traveling in for the wedding. The ceremony is about 30 minutes away from the reception venue. The hotels are near the reception venue. Second part of the call was about ‘cocktail-style’ receptions - which are very cool in New Orleans, where this wedding will be. But our caller is concerned about how to make one work for her family that will be expecting a traditional sit-down reception! Answer: Ok. The answer about transportation is a long, detailed, logistic-heavy answer. But that’s part of the deal when you want shuttles and you have a 30 minute or longer commute between venues for your guests! So - here goes: Get 2 shuttle busses so that you can stagger the shuttle pre-ceremony. That way if some of the guests are not ready early, they can catch the 2nd one. Pre-Ceremony: (Note - a shuttle will have an agreed upon ‘spot’ time - this is when they will arrive on location and be ready for guests. Typically, this is 15 minutes before the guests will be walking on to the shuttle.) First: Get on Waze or Google Maps on a Saturday at your ceremony time of day and look at the drive time between ceremony & reception. If it says 37 minutes with traffic, then round up to 40 minutes and that is your drive time. Remember that a shuttle van or bus is going to drive a lot slower than a regular car. Here is what I would do for a 4pm ceremony with a 30 minute drive time between the hotel and the church Shuttle #1: 3pm departure - 3:30pm drop-off (you will tell your guests that shuttle #1 departs at 2:50pm) Shuttle #2: 3:15pm departure - 3:45pm drop-off (you will tell your guests that shuttle #2 departs at 3:05pm) Have a friend or family member that knows most of your guests be the point person at the hotel. Give them the name & phone number of the transportation company. Give the transportation company their name and cell number as the on-site contact. Post-Ceremony: The busses should be ready to go as soon as you are pronounced married. They will be standing by during the ceremony anyway. (You want guests to leave right after the ceremony so that you can get on with the post-ceremony photos in relative peace!) The drivers will wait for each bus to be filled with guests before heading to the reception. Have your point person call your on-site contact at the reception venue to let him/her know the guests are in route and give an ETA. End of the night: If the reception is not at the hotel where guests are staying, then you will need to shuttle them at the end of the night as well. I would keep both shuttle busses through to the end of the night. Then you have these shuttles at your disposal for anyone that wants to leave early, and they will circle back to you for the guests who are leaving at the very end of the event. They can make multiple trips - you have hired them for a certain amount of time, not a certain amount of gas. Part 2 of this question: Cocktail-style receptions are awesome! When in New Orleans - do it the New Orleans way. Here’s the thing: as long as you have food, booze and music...the only thing you are adding to a reception this way is time...things are just more spread out and less rushed. It’s the NOLA way of doing things. I suggest you set up a mix of high boy cocktail tables and small seating areas - tables that can fit 8-10 clustered here and there. The food needs to be an even mix of hot and cold, tray passed and buffet/action station. Have 2 small bars on opposite sides of the space, rather than 1 big bar. Have seating areas or lounges around for guests to get comfortable and to come and go. After 2 hours, the food takes a break and then you have desserts out. Sure, it’s not a traditional sit-down dinner reception...but it’s still a wedding! There will be lots going on - go with it, trust your local vendors and have a wonderful time. Your guests will if you do. And listen to episode 99 all about destination weddings specifically in NOLA and specifically with a cocktail-style reception! Don’t worry, the bride we talked to wasn’t too sold on the idea at first either. And her wedding was phenomenal! Link below: Email #1 Same Sex representation and lesbian wedding questions Ask: Another multi-part-er! (Would be perfect for a consultation!) 1. With a heterosexual wedding, the man usually waits for the woman to walk down the aisle. Both my partner and I will be wearing a beautiful dress and plan to walk down the aisle together. I have an idea in mind but I'd love to hear examples of other LGBTQ weddings and how they made the walk down the aisle special. How much time should a lesbian wedding plan in advance? Since we have extra women as part of the bridal party that means extra makeup, hair, bouquets, etc! The budget has been a bit tricker for me since rather than thinking of one dress, there are two dresses, two diamond rings, two hair dos, etc. Are there any lesbian budget templates you have come across or any tips you can give to make this process a little easier? Answer: Yowza! Christy LOVES gay weddings. You all know that by now, right? Here is a taste of the answer: Walk down the aisle any way you want. The gay couples I have worked with have all done it differently for the most part. I love a T-shape - when you two walk in towards each other, meet and then walk down the actual aisle together. Email #2 Written with a heavy heart Ask: How to honor a recently deceased loved one - in this case a groomsman..and what is the best way to set up a registry donation link in his name? Answer: I love the idea of contributing to a suicide prevention fund, but I feel like the better way to do this is through your registry. You can take a look at this website: https://www.myregistry.com/charity-registry.aspx. (there are other sites like this as well to look into) I think this way - you can say a little more about your friend by writing something about him on your wedding website, or in a post/email to guests to share your registry information before the wedding. I think it will be more successful financially if you do it this way, and I also think bringing him into the first dance may weight the event down, and make people feel sad. Feeling sad on your wedding day is not something this friend would have wanted. Email #3 “Ex-girlfriend on the guestlist? I don’t want to include her!” Ask: (This one is juicy, yall.) My fiancé and I are trying to decide whether or not it’s ok to exclude his ex-girlfriend from our guest list. The ex-girlfriend left my fiancé for his best friend, Tom. Tom and the ex-girlfriend are now married. My fiancé is still friends with Tom and wants to invite him to the wedding. Is it okay to invite Tom but not his wife (the ex girlfriend)? We live in a small town and see the couple out and about often. There are no bad feelings between any of us but I feel somewhat uncomfortable having the ex-girlfriend at our wedding. I also don’t want to be rude. Should we just invite both of them and hope she doesn’t come? Answer: You can’t NOT include her! Lol. We understand why you want to, but you just can’t. She’s married to your fiance’s best friend. If he’s over it, you have to get over it. Invite her and have a wonderful time at your wedding. Links we referenced https://www.instagram.com/thewedexperience/?hl=en https://www.experiencewed.com https://www.zola.com/bigwedding www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/destination-wedding-retrospective-trisha-and-sutton https://dressanomalie.com Quotes “You know what? I think you’re right, Michelle. I think reading these reviews did make me feel better. Thank you so much to all of you that took the time to write in. And thank you especially for telling us specifically what you like about the show because it does help to inform us about what we are doing right...and it puts a little pep in our step!” - Christy, to Michelle re: iTunes reviews “What an honor it is that we are able to receive these emails from you all and serve as a sounding board for these big issues you are going through.” - Christy “I love this email! That’s why I answered it so quickly, it was fun.” - Michelle, on answering the ex-girlfriend email “Let that negativity go and PLAN THAT WEDDING. (You’ve got to invite her.)” - Michelle Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Brian Fuente, his right-hand woman Amberly, his parents, and his director of operations all met with us at the warehouse to show us the bars, talk business and cocktails with us, and to put a nice bow on our Nashville trip before we headed back home. Brian is the founder and owner of The Aero Bar, an uber cool and chic trailer bar that gets booked for all the hippest events in and around Nashville. With craft cocktails made to please and a super friendly staff of bartenders, Brian’s goal was to make sure that the drinks enhanced and lived up to the wedding they were served at. Customer service is a priority from start to finish and Southern Hospitality is alive and well at The Aero Bar, just like Nashville itself. Belly up and learn with us, dear listeners! Big Takeaways How are bars evolving and changing at weddings? Are signature cocktails still a ‘cutesy’ thing expected at every wedding? What is the bar owner’s favorite cocktail of all time?? These questions and more are answered by Brian! But the general gist is...more and more couples want to put some thought into their bar...the drinks served are thoughtfully decided on. The recipe, the booze, the fresh fruit, herbs, edible flowers, organic syrups, just-juiced-juice and delectable garnishes...everything was curated. Couples want the bar experience to feel upscale and inventive. They want their drinks to look and taste amazing, and for the whole bar to be memorable. The taste level is high, and the expectation is for each and every drink to be topnotch. The bar itself was a product of blood, sweat, and tears. The original Aero Bar (The Henry) is a trailer covered with hand selected wood from North Carolina and was hand-sanded by Brian himself, and completely refurbished. It’s something he is clearly proud of and it shows in the business he operates. You have to check out the website photos - there are other companies in other cities that do mobile bars, and we think they’re all cool! But this one has a masculine, sexy feel to it and we love it. The Aero Bar has been used at all kinds of events and can serve anything. It’s a different bar every time. Coffee Bar, corporate branded water bottle bar, dessert station, full bar...plus people LOVE to take photos in front of this bar. Think outside the box! We love the double duty here...if you’re going to spend a lot of money on a specific element of your wedding, make sure it’s available for photos all night! How does a bar service like The Aero Bar deal with liability and insurance? Typically, caterers focus on the food and food service, and the bar company provides the bar and everything that includes: coordinating glassware rentals, insured and licensed bartenders and staff, all ingredients, set up, breakdown...you get it. We have a whole episode about liability insurance and it’s important! Make sure you cross your Ts on this one, y’all. Crowd Pleasing drink of 2019? Brian says the classic Old Fashioned cocktail is always a winner (especially in Nashville). Asking for local favorites and products is always a good idea, though, if you’re looking for signature cocktail ideas for your destination wedding. Links we referenced https://www.theaerobar.com https://takecareof.com https://www.theaerobarsocal.com https://www.instagram.com/theaerobar/ *Quotes * “This business has turned into something that is bigger than I ever thought it would be.” - Brian, the owner “People want a really unique experience. This bar was a blank slate for any event that we work.” - Brian “Hiring a wedding professional who has a staff-as-family mentality and gets along and plays well with other vendors at your wedding...whoever it is, you want to hire someone with this mentality. Hire a vendor after you listen to them and find out how they talk about and treat their staff.” - Michelle, on how hospitable vendors treat EVERYONE well “Shots at a wedding are a bad idea, in general.” - Christy “Nashville is a great town to get married in.” - Brian, and we believe it! Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Brian Fuente.

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Janessa White and her partner Matt witnessed so many close friends spend tons of money on large weddings that were stressful and difficult to plan. After noticing that many of these friends didn’t enjoy their weddings, the duo realized that there must be a better way. With that, Simply Eloped was born and the two set off on a mission to make getting married, fun, easy and affordable! Big Takeaways FAQ: “The first order of business is to decide your ceremony date, time, and location. We also like to know how many guests you’ll bring along. From there, we’ll help you choose from our various elopement packages. After that, we’ll get to personalizing! We personalize everything from the ceremony, to the photo styles, to the flowers. Our firm belief is that your ceremony should be a reflection of your relationship! Easy. Peasy. Lemon. Squeezy.” Even a simple elopement needs some planning. Outside of going to the drive through marriage chapel in Vegas. Simply Eloped helps with the logistics, the care and the customization of the event. Personalizing your wedding comes from working with the vendor team that SE refers you to. And they help with the legality of the marriage license process, which is not sexy, but totally necessary. There are 10 markets for the Simply Eloped packages now - everything is listed online. Hawaii, New Orleans, NYC, Colorado...all styles, various packages and then an ala carte menu to curate specifically to your needs. Price counts. SE defines an elopement as 20 guests or less. A lot of their couples are choosing not to spend a ton of money on their wedding...either because they don’t have it, or they want to spend it on other things (student loans, a down payment on a house, traveling). Having a really meaningful, beautiful, personal and private ceremony might be exactly what you two need...don’t have a big wedding just because other people in your life want that! At the end of the day, a wedding is truly about the two people getting married. Many clients are doing an elopement and then having a big reception later, maybe back home. Couples want the destination of the elopement...it’s not as easy to hike up to the top of a mountain with 100 guests. So they’ll do it together, alone. Also - if you’re reading this and you’re already married...VOW RENEWAL! Simply Eloped is perfect to help you with this. And we LOVE vow renewals. If you do it, let us know! Links we referenced https://simplyeloped.com https://simplyeloped.com/blog/ - they have a great and informative blog, yall! https://www.experiencewed.com Quotes “We started nitch-y. We knew we didn’t want to be broad. Weddings can be really broad, we wanted to be nitchy. We knew we could help people with the officiant, the photographer, help them with their marriage license...we wanted to be the liaison.” - Janessa on the origin story “It’s a crazy emerging industry. The term ‘elopement’ itself has transformed...it’s evolved to be more experiential, personalized and intimate. All sorts of demographics are eloping now.” - Janessa, on who is eloping these days. From elderly couples to millennials...they serve them all! “We do coordinate flowers and hair and makeup. We answer a lot of questions along the way...even afterwards, we are still helping them out.” Janessa, on how SE helps “I can see how this would be appealing to someone that is overwhelmed with the idea - just the idea - of a big wedding.” - Christy, she gets it “It’s an elopement - you can do it anytime, anywhere. Part of the reason you are able to streamline this process and offer this pricing is probably because you are working with these wedding professionals on their off peak days.” - Michelle, always thinking Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Hey! We should get married in an apple orchard! Or a castle! I want a private garden for the ceremony and a rustic but elegant open barn for the reception. WHERE CAN WE GET THAT? Check out Mayflower Venues, y’all. They might just feature the perfect venue for you. Here’s teh blurb: Mayflower Venue’s platform and proprietary event planning software enable nontraditional event spaces (farms, family estates, orchards etc.) to market, book, coordinate and host custom weddings (or events) for couples who demand more unique and customizable venues. Big Takeaways So. It’s a site for venues. Unique, private estates for people to rent for their event day. But the MV platform is so much more than that - we wouldn’t just interview a guest about private venues, right? (Although a lot of listeners ask us about unique venues and how to find them…) We are learning about Mayflower Venues from their marketing director - the property listings are awesome, think AirBnB for wedding venues - but what’s even more awesome is the way that MV walks you through the process both to choose your venue AND to actually host a party there. Vendor recommendations, all pricing online, measurements and specs, rules, schematics, help with communicating logistics to vendors...it’s all a part of the Mayflower process. How cool it that?? We are posting a link below to a Mayflower Venues video - check it out, it’s a real couple sharing their MV experience. Super helpful to understand the site and the process. It takes a lot of planning - like creative problem solving, you don’t know what you don’t know planning - the unsexy, but critical stuff - to plan a wedding at a venue that isn’t an exclusive event venue. There are a lot of things to think about - flooring, restrooms, parking, tenting, how to light it, do you need a generator? Insurance? Is there wifi? Mayflower Venues helps you with ALL of this as you plan your wedding at one of the venues they represent. They help you implement the vision so everyone on your wedding team is set up for success. Another way Mayflower Venues is different is because it is a transparent process. They aren’t paying for leads, and they aren’t getting kickbacks when they recommend vendors to clients. They recommend vendors to clients because the vendors are AMAZING and familiar with the venue. There’s not incentive, and no pressure. No professionals are paying Mayflower Venues to refer them - which is huge. MV is doing quality control with their referrals. Unique Wedding Space, Location, Properties...why are they awesome? Pick a venue that speaks to you as a couple. What are the things that are important to you...do you have a connection to a certain location? Maybe there is something that is reflective of your relationship in the venue itself. Then ask yourself how do you want to remember your wedding day? This is how you can prioritize what’s important to you and you can narrow down the venues. You want your wedding day to feel a certain way and you also need to consider logistics - for your guests, and for your own experience of the day. Word to the wise - if you want a ‘barn wedding’ - there is a bigggggg spectrum. Maybe you want the view, but not the actual close ups of animals. There are many kinds of barns out there, and many on the MV site, just dig in a little and pick properties to view that have the ‘type’ of barn you want. You know what we mean. We talk about the wedding venue industry in this episode - there are elements that you, as a person planning their own wedding, might not know about. Like ‘pay to play’ sites, commissions and kick backs. This is not all bad or negative, it’s how the world works in some ways. But we’re talking about it with Veronica because at Mayflower Venues, part of their mission is to be transparent between the properties they represent and the clients. The prices are listed, the amenities are in black and white. MV has properties and estates on their site that they have vetted and visited and KNOW. They don’t peddle venues that pay them to list them. It’s a totally different business model than most wedding listing sites. Important distinction! Links we referenced https://www.mayflowervenues.com/wedding-venues https://youtu.be/WBzK5keTt6A https://www.instagram.com/mayflowervenues/ Quotes “Why are venues obscuring their prices? It makes no sense. Why are venues changing their price depending on who's sitting in front of them.” - Veronica on how the wedding industry needs transparency “I hear about family estates. I hear about family farms. I don’t have a family estate! How do I get married on one?!” - Christy, speaking as a panicked bride searching for a perfect estate venue “This is not a traditional venue-selling model. We represent a lot of different venues. The best way to find the perfect one for you is by giving you a lot of information upfront.” - Veronica, on Mayflower’s listings for each venue “We’re not a replacement for planners, a lot of people work with planners with us. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. What we really do is ensure the success with this specific venue - whatever is super important to know about this specific location.” - Veronica “I just want to plan a Wes Anderson type wedding at a private camp site. Can I do that, please?” - Michelle putting it out into the universe! “The benefit here - of Mayflower Venues - is that NONE of these venues are paying to be on this website. They are on this site because they are unique, they are lovely, great, you’ve vetted them.” Michelle, basically, MV helps to manage the properties for events - but the property owner isn’t PAYING MV to represent them online. It’s about transparency, people! “You want to make sure if someone is recommending a venue to you, it is because it is truly the best suited to you to execute your vision.” - Veronica. Truth! Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Veronica Armstrong Mayflower Venues.

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Big Takeaways We LOVE getting listener emails with questions! And if you want our attention for a full two hours of one-on-one consulting, hit us up and we can schedule a video chat meeting. 2 hours, $200. Easy peasy! So valuable and fun. Announcement! Wed 2019 - We are the emcees for this day-long educational wedding event in Boston. Join us! (links below). We are SO excited about this event and trip. 1 Email - Is it too late to fire our wedding party? Ask: Wedding party drama alert! This couple is in their thirties and their planning a destination wedding. They have groomsmen bitching about buying a new suit, bridesmaids worried about money and traveling, and friends that feel excluded from the wedding party. How to loosen things up and make everyone happy?? Answer: Some ideas in order to 'tone it down' - consider nixing the required attire, let them wear what they want. It's a destination wedding! It can be more relaxed this way. (They can still have bouts and bouqs.) I also suggest that they are part of the formal photos - either before or after the wedding, and they walk in down the aisle as part of the processional, but then they can just sit in the front row or second row, they don't have to stand up there with you two. You can involve these 8 people, and your other friends in various ways. Have all the girls get ready together and make it fun. (Mimosas and Spotify...). Ask different friends to do readings during the ceremony, or toasts during the reception. 2 Email - Boxes, crates, garbage bags? Ask: My question is about organization of all things weddings! We have been purchasing things for our 9.1.19 wedding and I’m officially at the place where almost every room has a pile of wedding stuff. This includes everything from little items for those ‘details’ lay flats to tote bags for the bridesmaids to big lanterns. I want to store things in the best way possible so it doesn’t take over our house but also so it’s organized for the weekend. Any suggestions? Answer: I love it when couples give me boxes on the wedding day - all labeled and taped closed. If you can do that with what you have now, just fill boxes as carefully as you can and make sure to include a detailed label. Once you have stuff in place, try not to mess with it anymore! Then on the wedding day, I re-use the boxes when I put stuff back in them to go back home with the couple, and I throw away the ones I don't need anymore - like a favor box or wine box. It's not an exact science, but it works! Labels are key. The 'best' brides will use a full piece of paper to label - clearly identifying everything in the box PLUS where it needs to be placed wedding day and who it needs to go home with at the end of the night. Plus any special instructions. If you want your candy bar set up a certain way...sketch it out, or do a mock up at home and take a pic. Put that in/on the box. Answer: Email #3 To First Look, or not to First Look Ask: My body seems to go into shock during high-stress, high-attention moments like this. I almost passed out when we got engaged for some reason...my hands go numb...I have no Idea why LOL. I'm worried and terrified this will happen when I get to the aisle and would love a first look to get my nerves settled. Have you two ever come across compromises with first looks? How do you two feel about them? I really would love to see his face and talk to him while respecting his wishes for the big day. Where's a good middle-ground here? Answer: Here's the compromise - you have to make the First Look feel really special. Sacred. With a walk towards him and with your bouquet and in a beautiful spot. So that you almost recreate the moment as it would be if you did it during the ceremony. It can (and should imo) be just the two of you and the photographer. Allow some time for this in your day-of timeline. Then take 15 minutes of photos with just you two. Tell him this will feel more intimate to you (in addition to helping with the crazy nerves), and that you will be be so much more relaxed during the ceremony if you get this done before hand. A first look allows you to control the situation a little more, and it gives you two time to just breathe together and take each other in a little bit. You probably won't get that kind of time together for the rest of the day! Email #4 “Too many ideas! Where to spend money?” Ask: My fiancé loves comic books, and Star Wars, I love Disney and Harry Potter. We both love movies so we are trying to work in some hints of everything into our wedding but we don’t want it to feel cheesy, or themed. We took some fun engagement pictures in a theater with some of our silly movie themed props. We had a friend illustrate our save the dates to look like a Pixar movie short/comic strip. Our plan is to name our tables after movie locations rather than just numbers (OZ, Hogwarts, Gotham, Atlantis etc) my main question it how much is too much? What are the parts of a wedding that take a theme well, and what might lead us to cross the line into tacky? Budget of course always comes into play. My priority has always been with the photos, but where else is our budget best spent? I plan to put together my own bouquets to save... but is it awful to use silk flowers? Are we better off choosing a small cake and spend money on dessert variety instead? is it okay to be sparse and let the space speak for itself? I don’t want to over do anything, but I also don’t want to miss the ball completely and have it feel too sparse. Answer: We have a lot to say about this one! Spend money on then things you really care about. And don’t make the whole place look like a movie prop warehouse! Since you are both into pop culture and movies - go there! Mine for awesome lines from those movies and books. A super hero's creed. A line in HP that talks about love and commitment and knowing true love when you feel it. A Disney princess's proclamation...include this all in the ceremony script. Have friends participate by doing readings if you want to involve more people. Consider walking down the aisle to some cinematic ballad or theme song that makes your heart soar overtime you hear it. It's corny - but I know you know what I'm talking about! The ceremony is a good place to bring in a theme when the theme is based on things you both actually love...which this is! Maybe a small wedding cake from WalMart (or Whole Foods…) is just fine for you two! Maybe grocery store flowers will be just enough in the space. Look into cool lighting, you can get a lot of bang for your buck with lighting. Links we referenced https://www.instagram.com/thewedexperience/?hl=en https://www.experiencewed.com https://www.zola.com/bigwedding www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast https://rentmywedding.com Quotes “So my question is: Is there a way to back out of having a bridal party? Or a way of having a “toned down” bridal party so more people can be included but no one actually stands up with us?” - Listener with bridal party drama “Since the desserts themselves aren't elaborate, think about setting up the table in a cool way. Make sure there are platters in various sizes and heights, some flowers, maybe a cool backdrop.” - Christy, on prioritizing “You're in a super cool venue...you don't need to dress it up to look like a cookie cutter wedding. You picked it because you liked that it was a theater!” - Christy “My fiancé loves comic books, and Star Wars, I love Disney and Harry Potter. We both love movies so we are trying to work in some hints of everything into our wedding but we don’t want it to feel cheesy, or too themed.” - Listener on her maybe-themed wedding “We have a goal for 2019. We want to TRIPLE our listeners. If you are listening right now on the BART, sitting on the train, look to your right, look to your left, look at that guy’s crotch standing right in front of you because it’s fucking packed, and just imagine if all four of you were listening to The Big Wedding Planning Podcast.” - Christy, just imagine it, it would be awesome “Let that person be a pain in the ass. They’re hurting themselves more than you. Onward and Upward!” - Michelle, on bratty friends “If you guys can cuddle and love and kiss before the ceremony...when the ceremony happens, it’s still going to be a unique moment!” - Michelle, on first looks, pros and cons Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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“Natalie Pinney and Moira Thompson are the co-founders of Whim Events, a full-service wedding planning, design and floral studio in Boston, MA. (We LOVE Boston!) Together over a lot of coffee, crazy ideas and a mutual love for making people’s dreams come true, Moira & Natalie founded Whim Events in 2011. They have designed and planned hundreds of weddings throughout New England, and were named Best Wedding Planner in Boston by Boston Magazine. With over ten years of experience, the two specialize in joyfully and thoughtfully guiding couples through every stage of the engagement, and believe planning should be as joyful and fun as the day itself. In addition to planning and producing weddings all over New England, Moira and Natalie are also active in the Boston small business industry and are passionate about uniting other local creatives in the community to engage in collaboration over competition.” These ladies share their take on wedding planning and wedding flowers, East Coast style, and the retrospective wisdom of hundreds of couples they surveyed after the wedding day. Big Takeaways Whim is a planning company that only does Full Wedding Planning with floral and design. They also offer floral design separately. But if they’re the planner, then they’re doing the flowers. This set-up ensures that the Whim team takes the clients from start to finish and the design is completely cohesive in the actual logistical planning of the event. Moira does utilize pinterest to help create her client’s vision. She still has to sift through things to make sure budget is considered with each and every pin. It’s helpful to see what elements many of the photos have in common, and it’s also helpful for Moira to see pin boards that aren’t necessarily wedding related. Like seeing a client’s home can really inform a designer of their style, and priorities. The biggest thing that came back from the survey Whim did was that people did not know how to budget for the wedding. It’s difficult! It’s overwhelming. Also, it’s expensive. The best thing you can do is to learn as much as possible about the actual costs of wedding vendors and services in your area, educate yourself before you sign contracts and pay deposits. Research ways that you can save money (Friday wedding? Small desserts instead of a huge cake? DIY flowers? Maybe!) and decide what your wedding priorities are. How much time does it take to plan a wedding? For Natalie and Moira - they’ve tracked it and for full planning by professionals, it’s 265 hours in a year. We think you can easily add 100 hours of browsing Pinterest alone. WED. This is an education and inspiration event for wedding planning. There are going to be speakers and panelists from all over the country that are going to have honest conversations about costs, services and processes. Boston, March 31. Not a wedding expo. We’re going to be there and we would love to see you!! Links we referenced https://whimevents.com https://www.experiencewed.com - remember you get a big discount when you buy a ticket for WED, promo code BIGWEDDING Quotes “For us, the entire goal is to tell our clients’ stories.” - Natalie “If you see something on Pinterest and it doesn’t say ‘This costs ten thousand dollars’, you might think it costs one thousand dollars.” - Christy “Most of the pins all have a common thread...we’ve been doing this for so long and we can see it.” - Moira “You should always be transparent about your budget. Then your vendor will tell you, here’s what I can do with that. Negotiation is not just asking for money off the total. That’s a big misconception out there.” - Natalie “Be upfront about your budget and don’t nickel and dime people...I don’t think that’s the right approach.” - Michelle, on negotiating...you don’t have to be a hard ass “We want people to leave feeling empowered and inspired to go out there and create a celebration that is all their own.” - Natalie, on WED’s mission “We hear a lot about an uneven division of labor when it comes to wedding planning...this is a great way for both people to hear the same information and they can both go away with a joint understanding of what is to come.” - Christy, on WED’s target audience of attendees Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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When we took the show on the road in 2018 (literally), we ended up at the desk of Angela Proffitt, celebrity wedding planner, connector, and small business guru. She is a treasure in Nashville. She has her own podcast and we were guests on it as well - Weddings Unveiled. She has an adorable accent. But the adorable stops there (well, it stops with her adorable Southern smile, I guess) and the badass begins as soon as you hear her talk about her business, her priorities, and her journey. Buckle up, Y'all! Big Takeaways Angela Proffitt is a Celebrity Wedding & Event Planner, Entrepreneur and Productivity Consultant with over 16 years of experience within the Events Industry. As the industry's leading creative disruptor, she has become a trusted resource and ally because of her commitment to exceeding the expectations of her clients and her passion for educating her audience. Her mantra "you don't know, what you don't know," fuels her books, online classes, live events, and consulting. Angela mixes her background in psychology and technology to plan and design for clients and businesses. It’s a unique twist on your average wedding planning experience. She has been voted "Best Event Planner," by Nashville Scene, highlighted as having the "Best Business Practices" by Success Magazine, appeared on ABC Family in the “Job or No Job” series and TLC’s “Extreme I Do’s. Her extensive list of clientele have included: Kellie Pickler, Hillary Scott of Lady Antebellum, Patrick Carney of the Black Keys, Jason Aldean, Eddie George (former TN Titans player) to name a few. She currently serves as a consultant to growing businesses in the wedding industry. Angela delivers tools that enable industry professionals to best serve their clients and believes that everyone has the ability to change a couples overall experience; all they have to do is plan for it! Colors. There was a lot of eye opening stuff in this interview for us. The personality system ‘True Colors’ is what Angela uses to staff, and to decide HOW to work with clients. (Link below) Sometimes, you just have to follow your heart. Even if that means canceling a lucrative reality show contract, knowing you are going to get sued, calling off an elaborate wedding very close to the wedding date and getting married alone on a beach. Sometimes you are Kellie Pickler and this happens to you. Hey! Be a crazy person that backs everything up on your computer! Learn from Angela! Be efficient. Utilize the cloud! Streamline! Adopt a system! Angela is a big fan of ‘time blocking’. It seems pretty awesome. It also seems like quite a project to get a handle on it...but once you do...BALANCE! Angela vets her clients before they even walk in (or call) for the initial consultation or intake. When a person inquires with her, they answer questions and share their Pinterest board, which pretty much tells Angela everything she needs to know. Because she is looking for specific things. (Based on the True Colors identifiers.) Apparently, it’s pretty similar to Tony Robbins stuff. Opposites attract? Hmmm….Angela has a different take. Angela walks us through what the typical process is for her team when they plan a wedding with clients. The timeline is a well-oiled-machine and Angela has her team, including herself, utilized in a very specific capacity for every job. Systems in place. It’s fascinating! Links we referenced Angela’s site: https://angelaproffitt.com Angela’s podcast on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/weddings-unveiled-professional/id1178517505?mt=2&infcontactkey=56a5c0dca560d33589bff2f5519402c67e3b664a599165a0ed12253318ad74c2 True Colors Test: https://truecolorsintl.com Quotes “How did I get here? The short answer is: I stopped trying to plan my life around what I was ‘supposed’ to do.” - Angela, on her origin story, in a nutshell (but there’s way more to it, of course) “I said, you know what? I’m really proud of you. I don’t give a shit about being on tv. This is about your love and about you starting a life. Marrying your best friend.” - Angela, to Kellie Pickler “Because I have worked my butt off to educate our market on the type of people that we serve...we really don’t have to go through the qualifications too much because everyone that comes here knows the expectation. They know that we create an experience all around psychology and that we use technology.” - Angela, on how she stands out in the wedding industry “This was a strategy. This was intentional. And I am exactly where I am because I made it happen.” - Angela Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Angela Proffitt.

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MIchelle and Christy took the show on the road and headed to Nashville Tennessee to sponsor and record live at The Modern Love Event. We met brides, grooms, friends, parents and lots of amazing top wedding vendors in the Southern City that never sleeps. This episode is the ‘show’ we did in the loft of The Cordelle, the host venue of the Modern Love Event. We chatted with attendees, answered questions, addressed concerns and dished out a lot of free advice. It’s free, so don’t blame us! It’s like a live YAWA. We had so much fun. And we touched on SO MANY TOPICS. “Fun fact: Nashville is actually now the #1 US destination for weddings, and it’s a really exciting time for this lively city.” - from the 100 Layer Cake Feature (link below) Big Takeaways We talk budget and (once again) encourage a nice, organized wedding budget. If your partner is co-planning the wedding, then you can both draft out a list of priorities. Then you share and mesh that list into one and start to estimate dollar amounts for each element/vendor. Remember - you don’t have to decide everything at once. The venue decision will dictate the date, and potentially, the biggest bulk of your budget. And also the style, decor, rentals etc. So decide on that and then send out Save The Dates, and then CHILL for a while. It’s ok if you don’t know anything else for a while. Even if people are asking you lots of questions about your wedding...you don’t have to know the answers. Generally, you do save a little money with a BYO situation for the bar. You definitely need to look into this before you book a venue. And we highly suggest you get professional event bartenders with insurance and licenses. This can come from the caterer, in most cases. It’s a little more work to do a BYO bar, but if you’re ok with that, it’s worth it. It’s great to hear how you are all feeling as you #planthatwedding. Getting to ask more questions and give more specific advice catered to the specific couple in front of us was a real kick. We heard about the expenses, the pros and cons you are weighing, the decisions you are struggling with… Guest lists! We believe in the A list, B list equation if you are going to have to whittle things down. Even add a C if your budget is very up in the air. Michelle breaks it down in this episode and Christy repeats herself with the tried and true opinion: sending out a few more invitations is the best reason to go over budget. Heard of a butt artist? They exist. And they’re super fun to have at a wedding, btw. Favors. We reiterate that we aren’t huge fans of the throw-away favors. But food favors? Great! A mother-of-the-bride asks how she is supposed to get hair and makeup and we have never addressed this on the podcast before! Our advice is generally to be in touch with the chosen stylists and to communicate ahead of time. Send pics. Plan your own trial run if you’re local. And if you have the means...find your own stylist and arrange something for earlier in the day. We have two brides on to interview - one is doing a glamping wedding and one is getting married at Reba McEntire’s former estate. What fun! Links we referenced The Modern Love Event: http://modernloveevent.com Modern Love Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/modernloveevent/ Modern Love Feature: http://www.100layercake.com/events/the-modern-love-event-takes-on-nashville/ Butt Artist: https://www.buttsketch.com/contact WED - event we are EMCEEing! https://www.experiencewed.com Quotes “Our style is very bohemian meets modern with a splash of elegance.” - Groom we interviewed. “This is very specific and impressive! I love it. You’ve got a good one, girl.” - Michelle “Don’t let yourself get all spun out with wedding planning. Because wedding planning is NOTHING compared to life planning. With a partner...Marriage is harder.” - Christy, if she had a nickel for everytime she said this... “So what was the thing so far that surprised you...like you found out how much it was going to cost and you were like, holy shit?!” - Michelle “I think it’s the venue.” - The groom, on what’s included, how it all looks, which vendors you have to use, etc “A destination wedding may end up being more expensive, but the money is distributed differently.” - Christy “You’re not going to cook! Don’t let him do that! It’s your wedding day, you can’t cook.” - Michelle to chef groom. Boom. “My priority is good logistics. Having everyone know what to do and when things are going to happen. ...Cause we’ve been to weddings before where we get there and we’re just standing around and next thing we know we hear people shouting in the back and then we find out that we missed the send off, or the cake cutting.” - Groom “It’s a very good thing that you have a planner.” - Christy, preach “In my family, if we get a save-the-date, we just assume that cousin is pregnant. We’re short term planners!” - Christy Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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We’re reflecting on 2018 - the highs, the lows, the lessons, the funny stories and lots and lots of our favorites. Plus, trends from last year and predictions for 2019. AND what’s to come in the new year! (Oh! We crawled under a deck at a double-wide bar in Nashville. We talk about it in this episode.) Big Takeaways Michelle is saying NO to resolutions this year and YES to getting rid of negative things, thoughts and toxic people in her life. Christy is working with intentions...like to drink more water and mindlessly scroll through her phone less. We talk a lot about you, our dear listeners, in this episode. We love connecting with you and we feel grateful that we’re able to do consulting, that we have patrons, and that we interact with you all via email and social media. Email is still the best way to get in touch with us! And we are so happy that we were able to meet and record with some of you! Here are the episodes that we recorded with listeners in 2018. They are at the top of both of our 2018 Favorites Lists. 67 The Second Time Around - Trisha talks about planning her second wedding, after divorce. “When you’re older, you don’t hesitate to say NO to what you don’t want.” 74 Allyson - Canadian Bride. “You have to enjoy and let go...because the months and weeks leading up to your wedding are like a road-trip. It’s all about getting there.” 76 Blake & Ashley, Christy’s clients and the happiest couple ever! Priorities! Blake and Ashley talked about the things that were really important to them when they started to plan their wedding and when things would get overwhelming or when decisions became tough, they went back to their list of priorities and stayed the course. 80 Amanda & Erik, wedding planning and listening together. Type A Bride and Involved Groom - Amanda and Erick worked together on wedding planning and the distribution of labor (we mention this a lot on the podcast, it’s usually more than a little bit uneven) was pretty fair! 99 Destination Wedding Retrospective - “If you’re having a destination wedding - you should host other weekend events if you can.” 116 & #117 Polyamorous Family and Dr. Fosse (is back and as good as ever) - “It can work, absolutely. And the word WORK is key. And that applies to monogamous and polyamorous relationships. There is no relationship that actually thrives when there is no attention given to it.” - Dr. Fosse, dropping a reminder about all relationships Our personal favorite episodes of the year: Michelle: #88 Anomalie, #90 The Hearnes, #96 Bridechilla, #116 & #117 Poly Christy: #86 Feminist Bride, #67 Trisha’s Second Wedding, #103 Steph Grant, #105 Venue Owner Interview. And Episode #92, What Straight Couples Can Learn From Gay Weddings Advice! Videography - we suggest you splurge on it, y’all. We’ve never heard a couple tell us they wish they HADN’T gotten a videographer Upcoming episodes in 2019: Nashville Eps! These will not all be released at once - we’ll spread them out in the next couple months. Photographer Kathy Thomas, Calligrapher Claire White (White In Calligraphy), Brian from The Aero Bar, Mattie Bush from Amelia’s Flower Truck, and fun crossover episodes with Angela Proffitt - her podcast is Weddings Unveiled and it was a lot of fun being interviewed together for her show! Plus live interviews from the Modern Love Event. Simply Eloped (simplyeloped.com) founder chats with us about the modern elopement - maybe it's the right choice for you! Transportation and Hotel Blocks - we promise we’ll do these episodes soon! Credit Card hacking guru joins us to share best practices for using cc incentives to plan your honeymoon accomodations for FREE Registries - charities, experiences Friendors - dos, don’ts Transgender couple on why marriage was so important to them, and their new lives together. And of course, more YAWAs, more shenanigans and exciting announcements! Don’t forget about our Patreon Membership! It’s the very best way for you to tell us you love us. And you’ll get a monthly newsletter from us and it always includes updates about our guests - some are doing amazing things in the world (Anomalie!) and we’re always thrilled to share the current updates and news! Quotes “We’re yin and yang. We always have each other’s back.” - Christy, of Michelle Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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An ambitious idea and a lot of rehearsal went into the execution of PJ and Noah’s first dance. It was a surprise for all of their guests, and then it was a surprise when it went online, went viral and brought thousands and comments and media inquiries to their door. What happens when you do something and the world notices? PJ and Noah turned the unexpected flood of attention into a donation drive that raised over 30k for a non-profit that means a lot to them, and to many people who watched their dance video with happy tears in their eyes: It Gets Better. PJ and Noah share their experience with the dance and all of the other sweet, personal moments on their wedding day. We are so happy to have them on the podcast! Big Takeaways PJ and Noah knew how they wanted their wedding to feel and they worked towards that every step of the way with wedding planning. They wanted the entire day to feel relaxed, personal, and for all of their guests to just have fun together. The incorporated all of their favorites into the day - their dog, their families - giving important ‘jobs’ to all of those VIPs they wanted to honor and include, their favorite songs and talented vocalist friends, and of course, the dance now seen ‘round the world - their choreographed first dance mashup, which included their very favorite songs from all phases of their life. Songs that reminded them of good times, great movies and shared experiences. The music was a very big part of their wedding day. It was meaningful, it added to the feel of the day. The dance took a lot of work, but putting the music together in the mash up took a lot of work too! PJ toiled away on Garage Band putting together all of the songs they wanted to use, and putting them in order, cued at the right time...it was a lot. But when something takes a lot of work, it helps if you have fun doing the work! PJ has a musical background and really enjoyed the process. Practice makes perfect, and if you are performing something at your wedding, or reading your vows to each other - it helps to run it by a few people to help get out some nerves, and maybe solve some of the technical problems. PJ and Noah shared their vows with their moms, and rehearsed the dance in front of Noah’s sister ahead of time, and that helped a lot. Involving your dog in the wedding takes a little preparation, planning and day-of helpers lined up. PJ and Noah had friends take ‘shifts’ to help care for Mila (their dog) during the reception. They had plenty of treat bags ready to go, and dog-loving ready to help. Noah and PJ didn’t have a wedding party, but they did have dear friends and families involved in the ceremony and at the reception. They had a flower girl, they had a young nephew with a job wrangling the dog and feeling important, the moms walked down the aisle before the grooms, the grooms walked in together, their dad’s were joint-officiants, and they had friends sing, toast and dance their asses off. Everyone that wanted to help was able to. It was a ‘it takes a village’ kind of wedding. Links we referenced The dance video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhXBNaUOTvU It Gets Better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjRD_6Gqb88 Wedding Highlight video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJwATkN9CBY PJ’s Op-Ed: https://www.foxnews.com/opinion/my-wedding-dance-was-watched-by-millions-i-wish-my-12-year-old-self-knew-how-beautiful-his-future-would-be Good Morning America: https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/living/story/grooms-surprised-guests-epic-dance-wedding-reception-58924854 Quotes “Who knows these guys? I need them in my life!” - Christy, telling the universe what to give her! “Everything we chose - every song - was recognizable and relatable. And that was intentional. People say that about vows too, that you don’t want to have too many inside jokes so that everybody can feel included.” - PJ “I was outside mowing the lawn while PJ was inside working on his tap steps.” - Noah, on wedding preparations “Make sure you have that actual first dance moment - look at each other, focus, and don’t just use the dance as a means to getting to the party.” - Noah, on starting the big dance “We didn’t have a wedding party, but we had people play roles if they wanted to - readings, toasts...we had a lot of toasts.” - Pj and Noah on friends being involved in their wedding “We wanted to remove the constraints of the table assignments. We kept saying that we wanted this day to be fun for us and everybody. So whenever something started stressing us out, we just got rid of it.” - PJ on deciding not to have a seating assignment for the reception “As we started to get this huge viral sense of what the video was achieving and how it was being received...as we got more and more hits and views, we said, we have to do something more with this. We are celebrating love and we’re celebrating life as two men, together, and that’s exactly what the ‘It Gets Better’ project does, what it shows. That is does get better.” - Noah, on sharing their story after the video went viral “It makes people feel good to watch the video - the dancing and the songs and your smiles and the guests clapping...it’s just good to watch. And the world told you that.” - Christy, in summary Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Happy Holidays! Enjoy this little Bonus episode as our gift to you! xoxo, Christy & Michelle

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More unique content from Michelle with Cass-Lara-Tony, a poly-family, and the luminous Dr. Magdalena Fosse, clinical psychologist (one of our all-time favorite contributors!). What happens when two people get legally married, but have a third partner in their relationship? Turns out, it’s a lot like a ‘normal’ traditional hetero-wedding! Only, the Maid of Honor sleeps in the same bed as the couple at the altar. Big Takeaways Primary partners and secondary partners are common arrangements with polyamorous couples. In this case, Cass and Tony are each others’ primary partner, and Lara is Cass’s secondary partner. Cass and Tony being married doesn’t mean Lara goes away. They are choosing to live their lives together, the three of them, in one house. There is a stigma and even societal repercussions for poly-families, so many keep their arrangements a secret in some or all aspects of their life. Dr. Fosse clarifies for us that poly relationships are very difficult - both to decide to go down this road, and then to be successful at it. Both parties in a couple need to be on the same page if they want to ‘open’ their relationship up, and that is very rare. There are so many circumstances that have to line up in order to move forward. Links we referenced Dr. Magdalena Fosse https://www.drfosse.com “Queen of Polyamory” (dubbed by her colleagues) https://pcfine.wildapricot.org/Psychodynamic-Couples-Therapy Part 1 of 2! https://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/polyamory-and-wedding-planning-part-1-of-2 *Quotes * “Your first response should be I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU, and not, ‘what is going to happen to your other partner?’” - Cass, on being disappointed by friend’s reactions to her engagement “I understand when people look at our relationship and just don’t get it. I know. It’s different. It’s not for everyone. It takes a lot of trust and openness and moments of vulnerability...it’s not easy all of the time.” - Lara, on being in a poly-relationship “I don’t want to be the reason you don’t do something. I don’t want to hold you back. Go experience life and if we’re going to make this commitment, I know that if it really matters and if I really need you, you’re going to be right there.” - Tony, on why this relationship works for him, ‘sharing’ Cass “Don’t be afraid of conflict. But learn to resolve it. Resolve it with love and compassion and respect. People want to be heard. Try getting to a place where you can see your partner, truly see them. You have to have a true desire to know this person.” - Dr. Fosse with professional advice for all Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Michelle does a prelude to this week’s episode because it is a little (a lot) different than our usual fare. “Polyamory” is defined in Urban Dictionary as The practice, state or ability to have more than one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved. Michelle describes it as opening up your heart enough to have this kind of arrangement. We know it’s a bit taboo, we know listeners will react in different ways to this episode, but we have a podcast about love and marriage and this is an episode that tells one story in this realm. And you can learn something valuable... Big Takeaways Cassandra emailed Michelle a wedding planning question and mentioned she was having a poly-wedding. Michelle answered her question and then asked many of her own. This episode is about the journey planning a non-traditional wedding, and it’s a personal education about what a polyamorous relationship looks like. Tony and Cass are together and monogamous. They decide to have an open relationship and Cass meets Lara and falls in love. Then what? They have to figure out what the ‘rules’ are...how does this work in the long term? It’s not an ‘open relationship’ (although Tony and Cass had an open relationship when they met Lara), polyamory is not a free for all. It’s ‘consensual by agreement’ - as Dr. Fosse explains. There is a difference in each relationship, they aren’t all always equal. Typically, there is a primary couple and then one or both partners have secondary partners. The primary couple agrees on the rules/decisions and is very open and honest through the entire process. Another type of arrangement in a polyamorous family is that all partners are equal in the relationship. It’s possible to switch between the type of arrangement as long as all partners are on the same page. It’s not just ‘cheating’ on each other. It’s not just sex. For our family, Cass, Tony and Lara, it’s love. They want to live a life together, all three of them. Cass and Tony are getting married and Lara is a bridesmaid. How does that work?! Lara is involved in wedding planning. She was involved in the planning of Tony’s proposal. She is a part of their marriage. She’s genuinely happy for Tony and Cass. It’s just working for them. The three subjects in this interview talk to us about their marriage plans, their families, who knows and doesn’t know about their arrangement, future kids, and why this is the right relationship for all of them right now. It’s enlightening and normalizing. And we’re all about that! Links we referenced Dr. Magdalena Fosse https://www.drfosse.com “Queen of Polyamory” (dubbed by her colleagues) https://pcfine.wildapricot.org/Psychodynamic-Couples-Therapy Quotes “He said to me, if anyone knew what I was like when I was falling in love, it was him. And he wanted me to go for it. To see where it would go.” - Cass, on how Tony knew she loved Lara “Poly meaning multiple. Amory meaning love, referring to love. It’s an idea that embraces the possibility that it’s do-able and not abnormal to love more than one person.” - Dr. Fosse “Some couples have a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ mentality and that’s kind of the opposite of how we decided to do this.” - Cass on how she and Tony ‘opened up their relationship’ “We’re in a pivot, or a ‘v relationship’, not a tri-relationship. I’m dating Cass. And Tony is dating Cass. But we aren’t romantic with each other.” - Lara “Now the two questions. Why are you getting married? And how did you decide that it would be Cass and Tony?” - Michelle “I’ve always pictured marrying Tony. It’s always been there. So to have it be so real, feels so good. And I’m excited to celebrate. To me, it’s about the connection to be made with everyone who has loved and supported us. Especially as we go to this new chapter together. It’s not a new book. It’s a new chapter.” - Cass, on marrying Tony, and have Lara by her side “The one thing that I worry about is legal things...and that’s something to be determined. Just making sure that we can all be a part of that child’s life, for their benefit.” - Lara, on the idea of having children as a poly family “It can work, absolutely. And the word WORK is key. And that applies to monogamous and polyamorous relationships. There is no relationship that actually thrives when there is no attention given to it.” - Dr. Fosse, dropping a reminder about all relationships Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Dr. Magdalena J. Fosse.

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Another end of the month, another YAWA! Yes, the name is growing on Christy. This month, we are answering more listener questions and as always - some of them have to do with family. Specifically, the sometimes sensitive topic of honoring step-parents, after the loss of a parent, or in the event that parent is estranged. We’ve got so much love for all of you that deal with tough family situations while wedding planning. You are not alone! Big Takeaways When your talented friends offer to help at the wedding, how do you compensate them? How to plan your wedding in a stress-free way after your first wedding was WAY too stressful? Is a card an appropriate way to say thank you to your mom? I mean, it’s a lifetime of thank yous, right? You’ve got questions, we’ve got answers. And opinions. And advice. Also, some sympathy. Announcement! Modern Love Event in Nashville is this weekend! Keep us with us on Instagram stories- we will be sharing our adventures and introducing all of our guests there. We have awesome interviews set up and then we’ll be live recording with the event attendees. Stay tuned! 1 Email - “Friendors” (we agree that we need to do an entire episode on this topic) Ask: “We have a lot of industry family and friends in Denver from floral to bartenders to dj's to chefs, artists from everything with graphic design to film set production, seamstress, photographers, etc , etc, etc... We very much appreciate all that has been offered to us, but we know that our friends aren't free. In this sort of a situation, how do you compensate friends with still getting a deal but not insulting them? Answer: Talented friends are good to have - especially around your wedding! I would count on compensating them 100% for their COSTS, and then asking them how much they think is fair for the labor. Be upfront and tell them how much you appreciate everything, but that you don't want to take advantage - even inadvertently - of their goodwill. And that you know they would be making money on this if you weren't their friend. I expect many of them will say something vague like 'oh, don't worry about it...whatever you think is great' and in this case, I think a few hundred dollars as a 'thank you gift' is probably fair. Depending on what exactly they are doing and how time-consuming it is. Again, insist that you pay for the full cost of the supplies. 2 Email - “Honoring Step-Dad” Ask: I currently have no relationship with my father for his side of the family. In fact, I haven’t had a relationship with him in many years. Long story short, he left my mother for another woman when I was very young, and his new wife did not want him to have a relationship with my sister and I. Not really sure why, but he limited contact with my sister and I. Last time I saw him in person was about 8 years ago. After I became an adult, I decided to accept the situation for what it was. I won’t say that it never bothered me to not have a father in my life, but it’s more like I had made my peace with it. At least that’s what I thought. During this wedding planning process, I found myself suddenly re-mourning the fact that I do not have my father in my life again. It really caught be by surprise as I thought I had worked through it. I am very lucky to have one very loving and supportive supportive stepfather, and along with him comes a very loving and supporting family. However, I can’t but feel sad every time things come up like picking the song I will dance for the first time with my “father” (I’ve decided to have a dance with my stepdad), Thinking about who will walk me down the aisle, and other things that a bride would traditionally do and include her father in. All this make me feel very sad, and in turn makes me feel guilty for not appreciating the wonderful gift that I have been given in form of my wonderful stepfather. My question is, what are ways that I can help my mother and stepfather feel special that will help me get over the lack of my father‘s presence? I’m already having them walk me down the aisle together, and as I said, will be having a father daughter dance with my stepdad. Is there anything else that I can do?Thank you so much for reading this, and keep being amazing! Answer: I suggest writing a card to your mom and stepdad - one for each one of them, to open the morning of your wedding day. Thanking them for supporting you and loving you, and for the unique way they have both had a part in guiding you to this pivotal point in your life. I think if you get all the feelings down on paper, you won't question anymore, or feel guilty, if your stepdad knows how much he means to you, and if your mom knows how grateful you are for her love, and also for the fact that she picked such a good man to raise you after your dad left. Email #3 “Need to know basis” Ask: Right now I am eight months into wedding planning with about nine to go until our wedding in September 2019. Several of the big items are complete (guest list, budget, venue, photographer, officiant, florist, hotel block, save the dates, ceremony and reception music, etc.). At the beginning, I had so much excitement for wedding planning. Now I’m starting to feel like I’m running on fumes. Wrangling calendars, getting buy in during decision making, and reaching out to new vendors is not easy to keep up with! Don’t get me wrong, I am so looking forward to the day we have planned for our wedding and I think it’s going well. But after accomplishing so much, it seems like there is an awful lot left to do. My fear is that my attention to detail will wane and on the day of our wedding I will regret not putting more of myself into planning. Do you have any words of wisdom on how to re-capture the energy around planning? I don’t know how you ladies do it month after month! Haha :) There is one other item I wanted to get some perspective on. Several things remaining on the to do list involve making decisions that will make impact other people. Examples include picking out bridesmaid dresses, deciding if we are all going to get our hair done (and who is paying for it), and who will be escorted to their seats as part of the ceremony vs who will be seated before the ceremony begins. I am DREADING it. Whenever friends and family ask about these items, I cannot change the subject fast enough. I have answers and thoughts on what I want for all of these items, but I just get so uncomfortable when discussing it. I think there are two reasons behind it. The first is that I hate telling other people what to do, especially when it involves how they will spend time or money (which are quite personal decisions). The second is that, ever since I can remember, people do not usually share my tastes. From things like music to decorations (not wedding related, just in general) I have pretty consistently gotten the message of “That’s fine for you, but I wouldn’t pick that”. It’s not mean, it’s just people being people. So far I’ve had a few conversations with my crew on what we should do for the items I mentioned above. Those conversations went well, my close friends and family are really generous, supportive people. But I still have a lot of hesitation on making and communicating the game plan. Do you have any advice on how bride’s and grooms can approach communicating decisions once they have been made? Answer: I strongly suggest taking a planning break for 2-3 weeks. Literally - like an 'out of office' break. You have plenty of time and taking a FULL break from wedding planning - even try not to talk about the wedding at all during this time, it will give you a renewed sense of purpose when you jump back in. You've probably been dedicated a lot of mental and emotional energy to wedding planning - I bet you don't even know how much. And you won't know until you give yourself permission to totally NOT think about it for a while. Challenge yourself. You'll be happy you did, I promise! Remember life before wedding planning? It was nice too! As far as your other questions - 1. Don't communicate anything about the actual day-of until about 6 weeks out. I mean, other than the time the ceremony starts and helping to reassure people that there are hotels and how they can get to the venue - things like that that may inform someone’s actual travel plans which do need to be made far in advance. All of the ceremony details, the hair and makeup schedule, the order of events at the reception...these are in the 'need to know' category and no one needs to know them right now. Links we referenced http://modernloveevent.com https://www.zola.com/bigwedding www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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So many of you have emailed and asked us questions regarding brunch weddings. Timelines, logistics, menu, layout, micro-events...pros, cons, lessons learned. We’re sharing it all with you in this episode, including some incredibly detailed insight from a recent ‘brunch bride’ listener. Her post-wedding-day notes are a great retrospective about all things brunch. Let’s get ourselves a bloody mary and dive in! Big Takeaways Let’s talk about the easy part first: Food and Drinks. Early lunch, or full brunch. Everyone loves a boozy brunch! Carving station, omelettes, frittatas, quiche, breakfast foods, fresh fruits and veg and cheese, sweet treats like pastries and donuts, smoked salmon, small bites, chicken and waffles, limited bar - people still drink beer and wine. Spiked hot drinks, bloodies, mimosas - all sorts! Champagne and coffee are a must. An espresso bar? Yes Please. Timeline example: (Be ready for an early morning!) o 6am-8am, makeup and hair (makeup for 4 people, hair for 1) o 8am-9am, get dressed + getting ready photos with photographer o 9am-10am, First Look, Wedding Party, and ½ of family photos o 11am-11:30am, Ceremony o 11:30am-12:30pm, Cocktail Reception (ceremony room flipped) o 12:30pm-4:00pm, Reception Challenges of a brunch wedding: Skewing things early, and making sure everyone’s expectations are in line with the earlier day you have planned - your wedding party, VIPs and guests. Keeping things flowing during the reception - do people dance? Will people stay until the end or cut out early? Apparel - brides have told us that they have had trouble picking a wedding dress for their brunch nuptials. Too formal? Too ‘garden party’? Is strapless ok? Tea length or floor length for the bridesmaids? Our advice is to pick the venue and the date before even beginning to start the outfit-hunt. Just like an evening wedding, your clothes will (ideally) ‘fit’ the scene. At the end of the day, remember what we always say - do you! If you love it and you’re comfortable, it’s fine. Hair and Makeup could be VERY early if you have a lot of ladies lined up for services. Might want to think about having your rehearsal dinner on the early side so everybody is ready for an early wedding day! Light! It’s going to be light out, you won’t get a sunset, or have to race against darkness. We strongly suggest you visit the venue during the time that your wedding will be so you can get a good idea of the light - inside and out. You probably won’t need to spend a lot of money on an AV company lighting vendor because the room will be bright enough. Maybe you need to think about draping if the light is too bright in the windows. Don’t fight the light - know what you are going to get and harness it! Use what you have to your advantage. Outdoor garden wedding at 10am - perfect! Small wedding parties and live musicians are perfect for brunch. We see those two things in almost every brunch wedding we’ve planned or been to as a guest or ‘friendor.’ Our Brunch Bride’s hindsight: · We saved money on food and the venue. Because it was daytime, I felt like we got away with having a simpler menu (i.e., one entrée). Our families enjoy their beverages, so we went more typical alcohol estimates, but we could have saved more by returning what wasn’t opened (mostly rose and cava for the mimosas). Finally, our venue base cost was $3k. It was double for a Saturday evening, but it seemed like rates of at least $10k-$15k were the average at other places. Spending less money on the venue meant I didn’t have to skimp in other areas. · It’s well suited for a Sunday. If an evening wedding was a priority for us, I would have chosen a Friday or Saturday. But Sunday meant that people in NorCal did not have to take off work, which they appreciated. · Creativity! I enjoy evening weddings where there’s a fancy dinner, starry skies, and a lot of dancing. But brunch forced us to reimagine many aspects of our wedding, especially décor and music. The vibe I wanted was hip, relaxed, light, and airy. A “garden party” was the closest thing I could think because of the daytime and floral nature. I like what we came up with overall. The flowers and greenery really made it work, even though I know a lot of couples steer away from that. The DJ also did a great job with music; he understood our eclectic but rather chill taste and picked songs appropriate for the setting. And the florist killed it, absolutely loved her work. · A perk of a Sunday wedding: we got our first picks for vendors. We had a 10-month timeframe and although people were already booked on the Saturday, 10/6, they were free on Sunday, 10/7 to help us. Links we referenced none Quotes “I’ve learned that I cannot actually handle an unlimited mimosa brunch. Boozy brunch...not for me.” - Christy, on being an adult “You think of brunch, you think of being sober. You’re not putting on a little black dress. You’re more proper. It’s not going to last as long as an evening wedding would.” Michelle, on the elements of brunch “Something needs to happen every thirty minutes...that’s just a rule of thumb. And that is definitely true for a brunch wedding.” - Christy “Brunch food smells so good. I think it’s because the syrup is on heaters a lot of the time. Delicious.” - Christy loves pancakes “You can have anything at brunch. It’s an in-between time, anything goes!” - Michelle - freedom! “Good energy. We were way less exhausted than we thought we’d be; with an evening wedding, we would have been dragging by 9pm.” - Our brunch bride Gen, you have to be a morning person! Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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We have guests on the show today! Lilia is the co-founder of wedwell. She created this platform to help challenge the wedding industry to bring more self care and wellness practices to this important time in someone's life. Ashley is a tarot reader on wedwell's platform. Ashley blends tarot and her innate intuitive abilities to serve those who feel misunderstood with a little everyday magic. Um, we love them. Big Takeaways We hear a lot of listener questions about ways to celebrate wedding planning stuff in unique and fun ways. We’re talking about weekend retreats, showers, bachelorette’s, engagement parties...how to change them up? Here are some ideas! Make wellness a fun treat for you and yours. Hire a tarot card reader for your girl’s weekend. Schedule some yoga classes for all your wedding tribe. Make sure you and your partner make time for relationship wellness...wedwell can help with mind, body, and heart connections. FYI - We would love to have a psychic reading at a cocktail party! Invite us! Lilia created wedwell so that other people in the midst of wedding planning would have a sort of one-stop-shop for wellness practitioners, one place to go and find help navigating the big decisions and the toll that stress will take during planning. All of the services are offered remotely - so all you need is a phone or computer. wedwell is a site that caters to women, and all the practitioners on the site are women. Their demographic is women that care about wellness, but still want to have fun. Bringing these things...yoga, meditation, aura readings, tarot readings, health advising, meal planning (based on the position of the moon!), conscious vow-writing, body image coaching...it’s comprehensive! Working with some comprehensive wellness experts can help guide wedding planning by highlighting some of your strengths and weaknesses, so you can move forward more confidently, more centered. And help you tap into a mindfulness on your wedding day so you can be present and soak it all in! Working with someone ahead of time might hlep strengthen those tools. Links we referenced https://www.bewedwell.com https://www.instagram.com/wed.well/ https://www.facebook.com/bewedwell https://www.instagram.com/magicalmind.tarot/ http://www.magicalmind.co/book-a-tarot-session/ Quotes “When I got engaged, I noticed that within the wedding industry there is so much pressure and so much stress and I experienced is all myself. And I was like - if I’m teaching yoga and I’m meditating...I can’t even imagine how people deal with this without these tools. And I thought - I have to create a platform to bring wellness to weddings.” - Lilia “I get stressed and depressed and upset just like everybody else out there...there’s shit going on. And if you layer that with the stress of wedding planning...this is a recipe for STRESS.” - Michelle “We started with wedding yoga and then it evolved into a concierge where you can go online and find a service.” - Lilia about her business growth “It all comes back to energy. We’re all just trying to tap in and see how we can interact.” - Ashley “Wow. You sound exactly how I wanted you to sound.” - Christy, about Ashley “It’s not a black and white world. There is so much grey. Let’s actually get into it.” - Ashley, on how she works with people intuitively “The essence of motherhood is love. And the way you love others is by doing things that make you feel good.” - Ashley, to Christy “You’re in a tower moment. You just have to let it burn.” - Ashley, to Michelle Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guests: Ashley and Lilia Karimi.

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What happens to your expensive, designer wedding dress after your wedding? Where can you buy a gorgeous ‘pre-owned’ dress in great shape, for a great price and STILL have a fabulous shopping experience? We’re talking to the owners of Our Story Bridal - a NYC-based wedding dress consignment shop and they’ve got answers! Big Takeaways Our Story Bridal is New York's only luxury consignment wedding boutique with pre-owned and sample dresses at up to 60% off with a curated assortment by designers like Monique Lhuillier, Vera Wang, Inbal Dror, Oscar de la Renta and Carolina Herrera. Better yet, our dresses are in immaculate condition and not only in runway or sample sizes. It’s not easy to sell your wedding dress. Craigslist is unreliable and a hassle all the way around. Brides want to feel pampered when they are trying on dresses and looking to buy one. Dresses are often altered to specific measurements so they don’t really fit anyone else. Both Jacquelyn and Ana faced this dilema after their own weddings and in trying to find a solution - they ended up setting up a pop-up shop, and quickly found out that there is quite a market for resale bridal. Demand - meet Supply. Jacquelyn and Ana met one other, and their future husbands, while students at Wharton Business School. Post-wedding, both owned designer gowns (Vera Wang and Mark Zunino, respectively) they knew other brides would love. Bridal consignment shops and reputable online platforms were scarce and impersonal, so they gathered once-worn and sample designer gowns, set up New York pop-up shops and the response was astonishing. Our Story Bridal has an online presence and all their inventory is on the website, updated constantly. They also have a brick-and-mortar shop where brides can come in and have the experience they want to have, by appointment only. This was a key component to the success of Our Story Bridal. And they don’t just have dresses that have already been worn - they also have samples directly from other boutiques and designers. Thinking of selling your dress? You can potentially make money from the sale (a lot easier and safer than trying to sell it on craigslist). Go to the website (link below, of course) and fill out the short survey form to sign up and OSB will walk you through the rest of the process. Once you send them your dress, you can expect updates asap. Most dresses that are going to sell, sell fast. And most sell! Links we referenced https://www.ourstorybridal.com http://modernloveevent.com/ Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Monthly installment - YAWA! We’re doing 5 listener questions this time! Should a wedding planner include a timeline in her contract? How soon is too soon to send out Save-the-Dates?? We got you. Big Takeaways We LOVE getting listener emails with questions! And if you want our attention for a full two hours of one-on-one consulting, hit us up and we can schedule a video chat meeting. 2 hours, $200. Easy peasy! So valuable and fun. Announcement! Modern Love Event - Modern Love is a Wedding Showcase (like you've never seen before!) - Sunday, December 2, 2018. The Cordelle in Nashville, TN - We are sponsors. We will have lounge area and we’ll be recording episodes with brides, grooms, and inquisitive minds! - Code for 50% off tickets for TBWPP Listeners! - BigWedding 1 Email - “No timeline?” Ask: Should mention of a timeline should be mentioned in my contract with my wedding planner. We haven't signed with her yet but we definitely want to work with her, but I was sure if this is something that should be in writing or is just assumed. She says in her contract she coordinates everything, including day-of, but there wasn't an explicit mention of a timeline. Answer: Yes! 2 Email - “Our planner just dumped us!” Ask: After receiving a polite email saying that the planner will know longer be working for them and the full deposit will be refunded, this bride was left feeling very anxious and confused! “In your world of wedding planning, is this a common or regular thing to do? Should I reach back out to them and try to figure out what's going on? Could we have been too demanding in asking for regular updates? Should we just cut bait and look for new planners??” Answer: Yikes - this is not an email you want to get! But, I don't think it's personal, and I definitely don't think you have asked for too much. (My guess is they took on too many weddings, or had some sort of life change that they are dealing with). Things happen, and although this is not common by any means, it's a waste of your time to consider the why here...they are doing the 'right' thing in the event of a cancelation like this and giving you your full refund back. If you don't receive that in a timely manner, I suggest you email and keep copies of everything in case you have to threaten litigation later. But it shouldn't come to that. Yes, take the deposit and find a new planner. And I think you should be very forthcoming with the next planner you interview. Tell them the position you are in, and tell them what you expect. You still have time, this isn't a disaster! Email #3 “Save The Dates” Ask: Hi ladies! My name is Grace and I'm from Newcastle, Australia - I'm OBSESSED with your podcast! I found it about a month ago and I've already binged most of the episodes - love love love! I'm getting married in Oct 17 2020 and I'm just wondering how soon is too soon to send save the dates?! Thank you for doing what you do xx Answer: I would suggest not sending them more than 15 months out - and even then, you'll need to plan for a second reminder, ideally. Something like an email blast announcing new info, or sharing the wedding website if you are going to have one. Just to keep people in the loop, since 15 months out is a long time to plan for a wedding guest! But I know you are excited - so I don't want to hold you back too much! Email #4 “Equal Opportunity Photography” Ask: We had our engagement shoot a month and some ago and the photos turned out beautifully except for one snafu. I feel like they focused a lot on me. I felt they were centred a lot on him staring adoringly at me with me staring in the camera. I am a huge feminist so I'm not sure if I'm being oversensitive. My FS is not as concerned as I am but he does see to what I am referring. I guess I would like to execute more gender balance in our photos and less of the stereotypical reinforcement of those gender roles if that makes sense. I was already planning to talk to our photographer about spending equal amounts of time with us prior to the ceremony (he was to get 30 min and I was to get an hour) but how do I broach this subject? I don't want to tell her which poses to do or disrespect her professional expertise but it is important to me. Any suggestions? Thanks! Answer: The way your worded it to us it totally appropriate! You don't want the photos of the wedding day to be 'all about you' - definitely talk to her about it and be direct. You don't need to tell her what to shoot, or how, but just that you want the photos represent both of your experiences of the day, and of course, your partnership at it's finest. Your equal partnership. She should be responsive and encouraging! Email #5 “Do we really NEED a wedding planner?” Ask: We're both really really type A. He said, "Why should we hire a wedding planner if we're going to double-check all of the vendors she recommends and also research our own vendors?" Also, his father negotiates contracts for a living, so there's no way any contract we would receive wouldn't be gone through with a fine-tooth comb by the three of us. So actually, what do we need a wedding planner for? I'm still feeling like we need one, but I can't actually think of tangible reasons for needing one outside month-of coordination. We want an outdoor wedding, probably at a place that isn't normally a wedding venue (think ostrich or alpaca farm). I was thinking a wedding planner would know to check up for AV things for the DJ? I'm worried we're too ignorant to even know what to look for! Maybe we should plan it ourselves, hire someone for a few hours of consulting, and then hire a month-of coordinator? Answer: I like your compromise. Get started on your own - the big things like date, venue and overall budget and size should be decided on so that you can get the most out of some consulting before you start the rest of the planning. Then for sure hire a GREAT month-of planner to double check all of your work, dot the i's, cross the t's...you know. I agree with you and your fiancé that 2 super type A 'doers' don't really need a planner in your situation. The clients who get the most out of working with me, for full planning, are the super busy people that basically want to just tell me what they like, give me their credit cards and then have a couple meetings along the way. OR - the bride/groom that has plenty of time and wants to sort of 'partner up' with me to plan the wedding. If you know you are going to want a say in everything, and that you would be double checking the planners work - you'll actually be doing double-work, and probably won't have a positive overall experience in the planning process. Links we referenced http://modernloveevent.com https://www.zola.com/bigwedding www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast *Quotes * “We are creating a wedding day schedule, we are creating a budget spreadsheet. Those things do need to be listed...the schedule, the ceremony layout...it needs to be listed in the contract.” - Michelle, on contracts “Contracts are super important, not just because it is going to protect you. But it also speaks to professionalism and how seriously this professional takes the business.” - Christy, on contracts “I’ve had to write those emails and they suck. They’re very professional and curt because you’re covering your own ass.” - Christy, on breaking contracts “Sidenote: Professional photographers do not like it when you tell them how or exactly what to shoot on your wedding day.” - Christy “You do want to end result to be something you feel good about.” - Michelle, on a vendor’s product commitment “The right month-of planner, who takes that job very seriously, it’s extremely comprehensive. It’s not just taking the contracts, creating a timeline and then showing up on the day-of. There’s a ton of value in a great month-of coordinator.” - Christy Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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You guys! A miracle has occurred. Christy and Michelle were able to see each other! In person! For hours! Drinks were drunk! Laughs were had! And most importantly, photos were taken. Because if a reunion for the ages takes place and photos aren’t taken, did it really happen? No! Christy had her last wedding of 2018 this past weekend, in the Bay Area. Michelle happened to be available the day before the wedding. Against all odds, we were able to throw together a professional shoot and tool around town taking fun pics together. It was a blast! So we recorded along the way, in a kitchen, in a car and made sure to get fun boomerangs in a bar. We did it for you, dear listeners! Big Takeaways Photo shoots are fun! At least, they should be. We suggest having a shot of tequila before you begin! We talked a lot about how this shoot was kinda like an engagement shoot. And we have an idea - BFF Shoots. They should be a thing. You hire a photographer, pay a professional hair and makeup artist, coordinate your outfits, map out your route and go frolic around and take silly, gorgeous pics for a couple of hours! It’s well worth it - the experience and the product. In our case, this was such a big reunion - we’ve been talking to each other at least once a week for over two years now. We text all the time. We make plans. We schedule and reschedule. But we never got to actually hang out! And this was a great way to jump back in. Our “Rules” for a photo shoot: big hair, big lashes. Cocktails to loosen up. Pretend to be super models or ugly ducklings post makeover in a movie montage. Fake it til you make it! Change outfits at least three times. Say YES when your partner suggests doing something funny or silly or brave. Laugh. Gaze at each other. Recite ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel Air’ to each other if the photographer wants you to look like you are having a nice candid conversation but you don’t know what to say. Did I mention hire a professional stylist? We did and she was the BEST investment ever. It’s fun to be pampered. If you are doing an engagement shoot - consider it a trial run and a practice for the wedding day. Take the opportunity to get to know the photographer. We’ve said it on the ‘cast a million times, you need to LIKE your photographer. As in, you should want to hang out with him or her. The engagement shoot is a chance to get on the same wave length, the same vibe and to loosen up around them as they take your pic and direct you a little. There were times when Stian made us laugh and I know those are some of the best pictures of the bunch. Digital guestbook - so cool! At this wedding Christy did, the guests were pretty tech-savvy as a whole and the guestbook was awesome. Having a planner helps because Christy was able to charge the ipad and test the guestbook app before the wedding day. Link below. (Also, if you’re using an ipad for this, make sure you tape the unlock code to it just in case!) Links we referenced Our stylist: www.beautybyerika.com Our photographer: www.neonstian.com http://www.videobooth.mobi Quotes Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Tionna Van Gundy is a Chicago-based wedding and event planner. The owner of Wedicity, Wedding & Event Detailing she has been in the events and hospitality industry for over 12 years. Originally from Columbus, Ohio, where she became a certified wedding professional in 2004 - Tionna moved to Chicago in 2010 and worked her way through the event industry! With an array of event experience in venue operations, destination management, food/beverage service and hotel operations, Tionna has expanded into the destination wedding market but still has a big heart for all things urban style weddings! And that’s what we are talking to her about - CITY WEDDINGS. Logistics, city pride, and how to create lasting urban memories. Enjoy! Big Takeaways We are here for Twitter complaints! First thing up in this episode, we answer a tweeter’s question about how the heck he’s supposed to afford a videographer. Should you just have some friends hold phones up during toasts and worry about ‘editing’ them all together later? No! Do your research - see if you can find a videographer that is really new to the business and negotiate! See if your photographer or DJ if they have recommendations - you’re more likely to get a deal if the vendor knows they were personally referred. In a busy, famously photographed city like Chicago, there are a list of ‘musts’ when it comes to your wedding party photos. (Hello, Bean!) Tionna tells us that on a popular May Saturday, it’s not uncommon to see 7 groups of bridesmaids all waiting patiently to take photos at the same landmark hotspot. What?! Chicago weddings right now are all about old-meets-new. There are several awesome old, historic, luxe hotels that host weddings every weekend, and now there are warehouse and art spaces popping up, upcycled and ready to party. Wedding parties can take photos all over the city before retreating to their chosen venue, getting the most of the urban architecture, style and bustling city energy. How are guests getting to and from weddings? Uber and Lyft. Valet (meh), shuttles. Walking from the designated hotel. But Chicago wedding planners are always trying to avoid a parking/traffic clusterfuck - city weddings all have this in common. Tax in the City. Tionna tells us that you’ll be spending about 30% of your wedding budget on taxes alone. Yikes! That’s a lot more expensive than other places! The weather is a big factor for Chicago weddings. Tionna tells us about how people can get blown across the street and it’s miserable and cold in winter, but that the city transforms and comes alive in the other 7 months of the year. The most popular time for weddings is September, as summer softens into Fall. Make sure you check the convention calendar before you start making big wedding plans! Links we referenced https://twitter.com/TBWPpodcast https://wed-icity.com https://www.instagram.com/wedicity_chi/ https://wed-icity.com/blog/f/unforgettable-chicago-wedding-welcome-bags Quotes “There are vendors for a wedding that you MUST have, and then there are vendors that are not a priority. We get it. We did it too!” - Christy “Chicagoans are definitely very prideful. We love it. We actually tighten our bonds living here January through March. You trudge through the snow together and then you all get beers at a brewery.” - Tionna, on Chicago pride “Literally from where I’m sitting right now in the West Loop, I can walk to thirty venues. It’s insane. There are SO many venues here.” - Tionna, on Chicago’s venue overkill. Choices! “The Chicago Experience is great food, fantastic skyline, amazing views.” - Tionna “Parking is always going to be one of those elements that is a nightmare for us. That’s across the board for the city.” - Tionna “The day before, I’ve seen a lot of coordinated events. Like architecture tours down the river, or segway tours, a speakeasy bar hang out.” - Tionna Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Tionna Van Gundy.

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We are at the tail end of our busiest season, and we need to talk about it! We haven’t had time to just shoot the shit lately on the podcast, so that’s what we’re doing on this one. Except with some jotted down notes and a basic outline in mind. Because we love you and we want you to know what’s in our brains! Tips, tricks, pet peeves and a good ‘ol debriefing between your favorite wedding planner BFFs. Enjoy! Big Takeaways Lil tip: If you are doing a card box or bird cage or basket or whatever to hold cards and gifts from guests, put a card in there before the day begins. If you have a guestbook that isn’t totally obviously a guestbook - then have some of your ‘maids sign it first, and then open it to that page. Sometimes guests don’t want to be the first to do something at a wedding. An ‘example’ is a nice indicator that it’s ok and expected! Pet peeve: Signage. We’ve been wedding planners for a long time. We have seen a whole lot of unnecessary signage in our day. Ease up on the signage! If there’s a tower of cupcakes on a table, you don’t have to put a cute frame or chalkboard telling everyone there is a tower of cupcakes there! We can all see it! They look delicious! Lesson Learned: If you have a sweets table out for display before the cake is cut, people may (will) help themselves. Which is fine! Unless you don’t want that. Remember - we’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: People at weddings love cake. So if you have cake balls or cupcakes out...they may grab them before dinner starts. Also - if you are doing cake for dessert - order enough for every guest! Don’t doubt us on this one, we’ve seen it get ugly when there isn’t enough cake to go around. If it’s a BYOB bar (you, the client are bringing the booze, not your guests) - better safe than sorry! Over-order so you don’t run out. And make sure your caterer has ordered enough corresponding glassware for the booze you’re bringing. Remember - people drink more than usual at a wedding. We talk a lot about catering and staffing on this one - examples of what NOT to do. Bottom line - the caterer and the wedding planner work very closely. Both parties need to be on board. Hire carefully! And don’t skimp on staffing. Oh! And always go with a double-sided buffet if you can! Quick tip! If a dancefloor is being put outside, make sure you have someone to sweep it off before the wedding starts. This is a big one: if you have a plan for an outside event - no matter what, you need a plan B in case the weather is horrible. No one can control weather! Having a plan B is crucial. But that’s not the end of it. You need to NOT HATE your plan B. If the plan B at the venue sucks, try to find another venue! Don’t forget about our Patreon! It’s the very best way for you to tell us you love us. :) Links we referenced www.modernloveevent.com/bigwedding Quotes “It just feels super damn good to help people. And to put out there what’s in our heads!” - Michelle, on how it’s not about the money (but we do need money, so become a patron please) “This is the kind of stuff that we would share with each other. Like, wedding planner real talk. We’re uploading/downloading our thoughts and experiences from the last few events we’ve done.” - Christy “I always schedule Last Call at least 30 minutes before the last dance. And that’s something that should be set on your timeline and that the catering company is aware of and that the DJ can announce.” - Christy “The caterer is the hub of the wedding.” - Michelle “It was wonderful because the two grooms were wonderful. And they knew that this wedding ceremony was going to be extremely personal and special no matter if we had to do it in a broom closet.” - Christy “We like to talk about these weddings when they’re fresh on our minds. It’s nice to do a recap!” - Michelle Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Michelle Edgemont is an event designer. And a florist. But not a planner. She can do florals for your wedding, and she can design your wedding, but she won’t design your wedding with another florist. Confused? Don’t be! Not every wedding planning process involves a designer. But for those that may...we hope this episode helps you decide how best to curate your wedding vision with the help of a professional designer. Big Takeaways Michelle Edgemont owns the event design and floral design studio MichelleEdgemont Design based in Brooklyn, NY. Named a 35 under 35 Rising Star in the floral industry by Floral Review magazine, Michelle has also been seen in the NYTimes, on HGTV, and the pages of all relevant wedding magazines. Her work is sought after for it's unconventional aesthetic by creative couples in the NYC area. An event designer is different than an event planner or coordinator. Michelle is the professional creating, defining and executing your wedding VISION - the aesthetic details that take your wedding from ‘typical’ to totally, 100% you - in the flowers, lighting, paper, signage, floor plan, linens, table settings, favors, place cards...you get the idea. She is the one helping you figure out exactly how you want your wedding to look, she puts the plans in motion, and she is there on the day of - working in tandem with your wedding planner, perhaps, to bring it all to life. Budget-wise...you have to have a pretty big overall budget to hire Michelle, or any designer, for that matter. It’s two fold - Michelle is a vendor and charges for her services and also she creates the wedding design by hiring other vendors, all at a high price point, on average. So if you have a modest or ‘normal’ wedding budget, you won’t be looking at the high-end elements of design at your wedding that a couple would who is hiring Michelle Edgemont would. Think basic linens provided by the caterer VS custom linens and matching altar backdrop created by artisans in Brooklyn. Who hires Michelle Edgemont? In her words, New Yorkers. (Upper class, cool, design-savvy New Yorkers.) It all starts with a venue meeting and there, Michelle talks to the couple about what they have in mind, colors they like, the floor plan and flow that the venue best lends itself to. Michelle goes from floor to ceiling, and from Save the Date to favor tags. Anything that a guest is going to look at is part of the event design umbrella. Start to finish. What’s IN - greenery (even in the personal bouquets!), mixed metallics, shiny objects (mylar, disco balls, sparkles). Links we referenced https://michelleedgemont.com https://www.instagram.com/medgemontdesign/ https://mailchi.mp/michelleedgemont.com/mmhkghsuzp https://www.marthastewart.com/1522855/woodland-baby-shower-michelle-edgemont https://www.marthastewartweddings.com/642786/tips-making-most-wedding-floral-budget https://m.fun365.orientaltrading.com/contributor/michelle-edgemont Quotes “I decided to start my own event design and flower company and I didn’t really know what I was doing. I figured it out along the way and that was about 8 years ago.” - Edgemont “My clients are couple who really love and appreciate visuals. They take a lot of time decorating their apartment. They put a lot of thought into getting dressed in the morning. They realize how when you look at different things, you feel differently. They appreciate art and things that are designed well.” - Edgemont “Sure, you just got engaged, you’re excited. Go on Pinterest. Pin a million things. And then...marinate on it a while. Come back and delete stuff you don’t like. Look at it and see what colors and styles are dominate. A couple rounds of edit edit edit. Then you have a good, cohesive board of 30-40 photos. That board you can send to your planners, your florist, your designer. Start the conversation with a more concise aesthetic.” - Edgemont on Pinterest Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Michelle Edgemont.

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Monthly installment - YAWA! This week we’re talking more about families...this time, it’s the overbearing, well-intentioned parents that get the attention. And more info about non-traditional receptions, helpful signage and honoring deceased loved ones at your wedding. It’s a big spectrum this time! Big Takeaways The biggest takeaway of all is that we are here to help YOU! Send us your questions and concerns and we’ll try our very best to get back to you personally and promptly and we may even read your email on an upcoming YAWA. Listeners helping listeners, helping us help you. See? It all goes in a big circle. Announcement! Modern Love Event - Modern Love is a Wedding Showcase (like you've never seen before!) - Sunday, December 2, 2018. The Cordelle in Nashville, TN - We are sponsors. We will have lounge area and we’ll be recording episodes with brides, grooms, and inquisitive minds! - Code for 50% off tickets for TBWPP Listeners! - BigWedding 1 Email - “How do I make sure guests are prepared for my unique wedding reception?” Ask: Because it is a rather unusual wedding, I am worried that guests are not going to enjoy being kept on a tight schedule. The wedding will start earlier and end by 8pm, in order to set the venue to welcome the public and begin the post-reception show. My question is this--how to I present this unusual wedding to my guests? I don't want them to be alarmed by the idea and at the same time I want them to be totally prepared for what to expect on the wedding day. Answer: A public concert after the reception sounds awesome! I think the best way to do it is to just move forward assuming that your guests are there to witness your marriage and support you and have a good time - following YOUR LEAD. If that means a sort of tight schedule so it can be over by 8, that's fine! I'm confident people will want to go on this ride with you - even though it isn't typical! It's adventurous and fun. Just make sure you are clear about the day when you invite your guests - maybe post details on your wedding website or in a follow up email after you send your official wedding invitations. Make sure people know that the wedding is for invited guests only and then afterwards, everyone is invited to stay for the concert and lots more people will be joining, hopefully. If it's at a separate part of the venue - you invite wedding guests like it's an after party. Not everyone will stay, but you don't need to worry about that! You and Chad need to focus on crafting this day so that you feel the most love from the most people in your life. Your tribe will show up, mama! 2 Email - “MOB is in the wedding industry and wants us to do this HER WAY” Ask: Because her family are, essentially, "Wedding People" coming from the bridal dress industry, her mother has a LOT of opinions about what we should and should not do. I'm not opposed to opinions, I want to hear from people since she and I are doing the planning ourselves. However, we are the only people in our families that live in Minneapolis, where we met and are planning to get married. Her mother is trying to choose caterers, bridesmaid dresses, etc. everyone she can think of despite what my fiance and I have discussed and agreed upon. Do you have any advice on how to navigate a nit-picking future mother-in-law, and any advice how I can convince her that I have serious opinions on this wedding as well? Answer: My advice to you is nip this in the bud ASAP. You can be kind, but firm at the same time. I'm sure your FMIL is very excited as she should be, but the two of you need to communicate with her that this is your wedding and you need to go through the planning process on your own terms. Remind her of how exciting it is to plan this wedding together as a couple. Your FMIL, may also be of the old school mindset that the groom is not always so involved in the planning. In your case, this sounds like the total opposite. Of course you don't want to hurt any feelings, but the fact is, that is you don't take care of this now, feelings will get hurt down the line and conflict will arise out of your lack of communication. Email #3 “How do we honor loved ones that passed away?” Ask: I lost my father about 5 years ago to a heart attack. My fiance also just lost his mother december 2017 to breast cancer. We were wondering what can we do to honor them that day... we are obviously not going to do parent dances. I did some pintresting (word?) and i just see a remembrance table with a candle or a reserved place setting at a table....are there any other things that we can do? Answer: I can't even imagine what you have gone through, my heart goes out to you both. I have worked - strangely - with at least 6 brides that lost a parent, pretty recently prior to their wedding. Everyone has honored their loved ones in different ways. Have you listened to the episode with my best friend, Lauren? It's all about her planning journey and wedding, which coincided with her mom dying of cancer. Her mom actually passed 1 week after the wedding. It was brutal. But the way she shares her story, and what she tried to take from the experience is really beautiful. It's number 58. The most common thing that clients have done is the remembrance table - photos and maybe a small sign in a frame on a table that is displayed during the reception. Also, I've seen reserved seats during the ceremony, maybe with a calalily or rose laid across them...although, if I were the bride, this would be too emotional for me to see while up at the altar. You have to think about how you and your fiancé will be able to craft the day so that your parents are honored and mentioned and loved, but that the focus stays on you two and your journey together, and the commitment you are making. You have to be able to enjoy your wedding day. Oh! Quick question...what do our listeners think about schwag? Branded items you would buy? Something? Anything? Let us know. Links we referenced http://modernloveevent.com https://www.zola.com/bigwedding www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast http://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/the-happiest-sad-day Quotes “Before my alarm goes off, I’m waking up thinking - I don’t know if the musicians are going to have music stands. In my head, it’s that school nightmare when you show up and you don’t know where your class is.” - Christy, on why September is crazy for wedding planners “If you look at their instagram feeds, I’m like drooling. Like I can’t wait to mingle with these Nashville peeps and see what it’s all about...Everyone wants to go to Nashville!” - Michelle, on the Modern Love Event “Life is what happens when you are planning weddings.” - Michelle, for real “Carry it with you, have it in the room when you are getting ready...special things on your person, on your body, close to your heart. You can feel their presence even more.” - Michelle, on honoring a loved one on your wedding day “I think it’s impossible - like just impossible. So anytime I look and someone has actually tweeted at us, I’m like WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE WORLD?” - Christy, on Twitter, the endless mountain she is climbing Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Lynsie Blau joins Christy on this episode to break down VENUE basics for us. Site visits, vibes, and contracts...all important! Picking your wedding venue is one of the biggest and arguably most important decisions you will make during wedding planning. Here’s how to avoid the pitfalls! Lynsie is the owner, manager and everything-person for BRIK Venue in Fort Worth, Tx. Brik is a stand alone industrial beauty - 2 stories, original hardwood, exposed brick and pretty white painted walls, a graffiti courtyard and a gorgeous studio to get ready in. It is a premier venue for North Texas - for all these reasons and more. Namely - Lynsie herself. Now, let’s talk money, dolls! (Forgive Christy - she sounds a little sick on this one!) Big Takeaways Priorities for Lynsie when she bought Brik and began the transformation into a wedding venue: 1- two seperate indoor spaces that don’t require a ‘flip’ - it has 2 full floors so you can do ceremony on one floor and the reception on the other floor. 2 - Location - close to downtown 3 - Capacity - bigger than 200 guests (Brik is 300 max) 4 - Open, versatile and flexible Brik is not an ‘all-inclusive’ event space - but it does include the tables (super cool custom tables), chairs (chivaries!) and bars (also custom and very cool). But the rest is up to the clients. Lynsie hopes that the ‘blank space’ element is what draws couples to book her space over a different venue. It’s a pro, not a con. Every couple makes Brik their own for the wedding day - no two weddings there look the same. This is something that a lot of venues claim to have, but just don’t! Whatever a venue offers - make sure you see it all before you book. Not all inventory is created equal. It doesn’t matter is chairs are included, if the chairs are horrible and you don’t end up using them. And if you do have to bring in a bunch of rentals, make sure you know the venue’s policy for set up and strike - and if rentals can be brought in early, or left overnight, etc. Why do people book Brik? Because Lynsie says ‘YES’. But if that’s overwhelming, Lynsie will give her personal recommendations for vendors and designers. People book Brik because the site visit and booking process are organized and cohesive. Lynsie is accessible. She answers emails. Her contract is detailed and in plain English. The business side of Brik is solid...and they want to help. They want to say YES. All event venues should be like this. They aren’t. Site visit advice: Know your date, or at least the month you want your wedding Is there a budget limit you have worked out for the venue? How many hours do you want the venue? For pricing - make sure you ask if the numbers they give you are the FINAL quotes, or if there are hidden fees Look at the bathrooms at the venue! See if you have to work with a set vendor list, or if it’s a ‘preferred vendor’ list. Ask questions about how open their policy is Does the venue have insurance requirements? Required valet or security? Is the set up and strike time included in the rental time? Do you get an extra hour for the rehearsal? What about for engagement photos before the wedding? The ‘getting ready’ room is very important! Look for room, the light, the mirrors… Look down at the floors and look up at the ceilings...remember to include full perspective in your vision when you are thinking about how you would ‘transform’ a room. Look into the transportation, parking and proximity to hotels/civilization when you are looking at venues. The fact that Brik is 5 minutes from downtown FW is a HUGE draw for couples - and it’s a big reason why Lynsie took the plunge and bought the place. She doesn’t worry about guests driving drunk, cause everyone can Uber! Links we referenced www.brikvenue.com https://www.instagram.com/brikvenue/ http://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/fall-in-love-with-your-wedding-photographer Quotes “Mostly, my outdoor space is used for photos. Which is something that is a big deal that I didn’t think about when I started.” - Lynsie on Brik’s rad outdoor shoot locations “We’ve talked about venues like this a lot because they are that sweet spot...they are made for events.” - Christy - on how Brik hits the spot “People might say, you’ve thought of everything! Yes, I have!” - Lynsie on how she navigates the ‘yea, buts’ “I get a lot of people that say they’ve liked other venues as much as Brik, but that they thought I was so nice, they wanted to work with me. That’s the biggest compliment.” - Lynsie “If you have a planner, I don’t have to worry about half the stuff I usually would...I love planners.” - Lynsie “Altar pieces are where people get super creative. We’ve had a mantle, different arches, candelabras, floral installations. A bar with floral hanging down is so so pretty.” - Lynsie “If a venue owner is worth their salt, they have a really good contract. Read that contract. Everything should be laid out in the contract. A good contract makes all the difference.” - Lynsie “Be nice. Being nice gets you so much further than being an ass hole.” - Lynsie (Christy agrees!) Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Lynsie Blau.

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Alyssa Rower is a divorce attorney and practices matrimonial law in NYC. She’s fierce, she’s forthcoming and she is teaching us about the legal and financial elements of marriage that we aren’t total know-it-alls about! How refreshing. Alyssa has been featured and written articles for HuffPost, Brides.com, Forbes and The Chicago Tribune - to name a few. We’re stoked to have her on the podcast! Big Takeaways A prenuptial agreement is a document you deal with before you get married. It protects you in the event of one partner’s death, or in the event of divorce. It’s not just for rich people! Alyssa tells us how a regular old business owner or entrepreneur might also consider a pre-nup - and what reasons may be enough to spend the money for one! This is all state by state - it doesn’t matter what state you were married in, it depends on what state you reside in during the years during your marriage, or leading up to your divorce. This matters! Especially when it comes to inheritances, and - just a couple years ago - because of marriage equality laws differing state to state. So it’s in everyone’s best interest to research the laws of your state before legally binding yourself to another person! A prenuptial agreement is an agreement that crosses state lines. So - it may make proceedings feel ‘safer’ or smarter for both parties. Alimony, spousal support and child support laws also vary greatly from state to state...if you don’t have a prenup, you have to consider these terms with every major life decision you make together as a couple: having children, owning property, changing jobs, relocating, sickness or leaving the workplace entirely. Also, thinking about your estate and who/how you want to leave it in the event that you die can come into play when drafting documents pre-marriage agreements. This matters specifically for people that get married and they both bring children into the family. Deal with this stuff early on and get it done well before you are sending out your wedding invitations. It’s far less stressful to get it done early, if you are going to do it. And make sure you are both involved in the creation and formation of the document! This mutual understanding about the finances of your relationship is important whether you get a pre-nup or not. Both partners should have a good understanding of what is going on - in marriage and in divorce. Divorce is difficult - across the board. But the divorces Alyssa thinks are the saddest are the ones that quietly end and leaves one partner not only devastated, but confused, and taken by surprise. She encourages couples to expect problems and issues, but to not take each other, or their marriage for granted. Also, don’t compare yourself to others if possible - every couple has their own unique something...no one knows what goes on in a marriage except for the two people in it! Links we referenced https://www.rowerllc.com https://www.rowerllc.com/lectures-publications-1/ https://www.forbes.com/sites/groupthink/2018/01/28/those-who-are-most-in-need-of-a-prenup-may-surprise-you/ https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-strengthen-your-marriage-with-a-prenup-2018-5?r=UK&IR=T https://soundcloud.com/user-866073407/what-happens-to-your-business Quotes “Think about it now, keep it in your peripheral and then enter marriage with eyes wide open.” - Christy “And don’t ignore things.” - Michelle “A prenup is for anybody that has their act together and wants a custom-situation if they were to get divorced, rather than the default way that a state dictates the terms of the end of a marriage.” - Alyssa “Nobody enters a marriage planning or wanting to get divorced. But people change. And finances change. Things happen and people fall out of love. It doesn’t always work out. A pre-nup is good planning. It’s insurance.” - Alyssa “The lines of communication...now is the time, during planning, to swing them wide open. So they stay open.” - Christy “The biggest lesson I have learned is that there is no magic formula. People change ALL the time. It’s about recognizing the fragility of love. You need to work at it everyday. Things will go up and down...Every relationship needs care and attention.” - Alyssa Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com Special Guest: Alyssa Rower.

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This is the story of photographer Steph Grant, told - sometimes chaotically - by Steph Grant. We had so much fun talking to Steph! She is a dear friend of Christy’s and we are sure you are going to fall in love with her. She is passionate, driven, endlessly energetic, compassionate and she seeks connection and expression in everything she touches. Steph shoots weddings (mostly lesbian) literally all over the world and her images tell a story of the wedding day, and the bigger love story of the couple. In this episode, we dive right in and swim all over! Steph’s nonprofit ‘Promote Love’ is growing exponentially and we’re here for it! Big Takeaways Steph’s press blurb: As an out lesbian photographer my primary focus is to make you feel comfortable so that your personalities and love are captured in every wedding photograph. I love every second of my job. I have worked very hard to be exactly where I am…and that is right here in this moment with you. My goal is to get to know your love story & to tell it with my images. I want to make you smile, cry and laugh at the memories that might have been forgotten in those 8 hours. It’s so rewarding to have people say that they felt like they were actually there attending the weddings that I have shot. They can feel the love and happiness in those moments. In the summer of 2013 I photographed the first lesbian Indian wedding in the USA. I am proud to say it was love story that changed the hearts and minds of many around the world. Steph has taken the opportunity to share her story about coming out and living truthfully when raised in a religious family...she followed her dreams, but her path wasn’t easy. Once she became a successful photographer (feeling like it was overnight…), she realized that what she was REALLY good at wat storytelling. And that in order to tell the stories of others...the inspiring, amazing, beautiful love stories...she had to tell her own story. That process, of finding herself and learning to love herself, ultimately became Promote Love Movement. And now - because she is a crazy person - Steph runs the non-profit AND two successful photography businesses. Check out the links on this one, y’all! You won’t regret it. Steph, Christy, and Michelle talk about what marriage means to them, why ‘gay weddings’ are still a thing vs just ‘weddings’, a great bridal jumpsuit (link!), charity work, and how Steph’s career came to be. There’s advice, a little stream of consciousness, some real heart and we all had so much fun. Can’t wait to hear what all our listeners think! Links we referenced Steph’s photography site: http://www.stephgrantphotography.com/blog/ www.Stephgrant.com Wedding that catapulted Steph into BIG status: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/20/steph-grant-lesbian-indian-weddingn3624326.html Steph’s nonprofit site: http://www.promotelovemovement.com Steph’s instagram: https://www.instagram.com/imsteph/ Bridal jumpsuit (dreamy!) : https://www.blackhalo.com/the-jumpsuit/jumpsuits/antoinette-jumpsuit We’re gonna be at this wedding event! - www.modernloveevent.com *Quotes * “We can say whatever the fuck we want! It’s our podcast.” - Michelle, getting things started! “Steph is one of those rare unicorn humans that is delighted by all things big and small. But also sometimes has the attention span of a fruitfly. A creative genius fruitfly.” - Christy “This is true.” - Steph “I spend most of my time doing wedding photography. I specialize in LGBT weddings. And it’s not just coming in and shooting for 8 hours, and documenting that day...it’s getting to know the couple and their crew and helping to tell their love story.” - Steph - her short bio “It’s called ‘calculated vulnerability’...we’re getting right in here!” - Steph “This is the origin story of how Steph Grant skyrocketed to the current ‘Steph Grant.’” - Christy “It’s not just a party. If you’re really wanting to just have a big party - that’s great too! Live together, be partners in crime for the rest of your lives...and don’t go through all the paperwork if that doesn’t work for you!” - Steph, on why marriage maybe isn’t for everyone “Marriage is hard. If you’re stressed out about wedding planning...this shit is NOTHING compared to the actual marriage. It is work. It is hard.” - Christy, about the celebrate her 9th anniversary! “Embrace your own style so that you are more comfortable on your wedding day. Your style, elevated...when you bring your own style to your wedding, the photos are phenomenal.” - Steph Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Steph Grant.

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YAWA time! You ask, we answer. We have voicemails, reviews and lots of questions to answer this week - plus a special ANNOUNCEMENT! Also, we had some technical difficulties, so these notes are very abbreviated...you’ll have to listen for all the gems! Big Takeaways 1 Voicemail “Religious reasoning...dad doesn’t want to attend ceremony” 2 Voicemail “I want to start a local wedding resource guide” 3 Email “Eloping! Do we register for gifts? Can we party with our friends after the wedding?” Links we referenced www.zola.com/bigwedding http://modernloveevent.com *Quotes * This week, you’ll just have to listen for the verbal brilliance. Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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DeAndre planned, choreographed and executed an amazing LipDub surprise proposal for his boyfriend Stuart and we are HERE for it! (A little late, admittedly, but here nonetheless.) Before you read these notes - make sure you watch the proposal video online. Google " DeAndre Stu Proposal" Big Takeaways This video has everything we love in life - it’s a surprise, there are a ton of happy, joyful people involved, the music is great, the smiles are big, there’s a gospel choir nod and DeAndre’s mom makes an appearance in one of her fancy church hats. It’s truly a love-filled spectacle. But talking to the two grooms now (only months away from their wedding at the point we recorded!) is even better than the video that made us fall in love with them. DeAndre and Stu are excited about their upcoming wedding and their planning process has been a great learning curve. They want their wedding to be as joyful as their proposal...and we are 100% sure it will be. Opposites attract with these two and their wedding is going to reflect their relationship, and they had to divide and conquer for the wedding planning. It was an equal endeavor and it was pretty easy to decide who would be good at what. Hearing them talk, you can tell that they love bragging about each other - that they’re in awe of each other’s talents and qualities. We love that! Here’s something to note if you’re planning a ‘surprise’ proposal: The actual proposal was certainly a surprise...but DeAndre and Stu had talked about getting married and even planned it a little. Stu was totally delighted by DeAndre’s surprise proposal...it was clear he had put so many plans in motion to pull if off. But Stu wasn’t shocked or left speechless, or undecided...if you’re going to do some big grand gesture like this...you better know that your partner is on board with saying YES! We love DeAndre and Stuart’s love story, their amazing proposal and we’re happy they were on the podcast to share everything! On engagement photos: Style, baby! DeAndre and Stu picked the Color Factory in SF for their engagement photos. They had to pull some strings, there was a price, and there was lots of arranging...but it was all worth it! They wanted their engagement photos to be as colorful and fun as their proposal, and to set the scene for their upcoming wedding. Putting together a simple priority list was the best way for Deandre and Stu to decide on their budget. They were paying for the wedding themselves and they planned for a long engagement. Links we referenced The video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2AB1FLN4 https://www.theknot.com/us/deandre-upshaw-and-stuart-hausmann-oct-2018 DeAndre’s instagram page (great weight motivation!) https://www.instagram.com/heyitsdeandre/ Their engagement photos at The Color Factory http://robaugust.com/color-factory-engagement-session-in-san-francisco-ca-deandre-stuart/ *Quotes * “No joke, your video is on a loop of Ellen videos and a puppy video for me. And I’ll watch it in the morning to remind myself that are good people in the world!” - Christy “Our first date was at the Olive Garden.” - DeAndre “Can’t beat those breadsticks.” - Stu “If you’re going to do something big, then you have to do it RIGHT.” - DeAndre “It shouldn’t be a surprise - I mean, the circumstances should be a surprise, but the fact that it is going to happen shouldn’t be a surprise. We are very open with each other and we have open lanes of communication.” - DeAndre on planning a surprise, while talking honestly about the idea of getting married “It’s important to have a team that you can trust and that will follow through.” - DeAndre - about the proposal, but also about life in general! “We’re big on vibes...one way or another if it didn’t click, we’d move on.” - Stu, on hiring vendors and finding the perfect venue Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Christy and Michelle look back on the past 100 episodes and celebrate the milestones! We’re reading reviews, listener engagement, future plans, hearing from a few special guests and rolling out our consulting services officially! Big Takeaways We know the intro is a little annoying. But we have to keep it now, yall! We’ve come too far! We want to know what you want to hear! We say it a thousand times, but there are MANY ways to reach out to us. Hit us up! Topics, questions, guests you want to hear...what would be helpful to you? What have we left out or just glossed over? Individual Consulting: Here’s the deal. Michelle and Christy are available for consulting hours. We have a consulting package and we can help you in any place along your wedding planning journey. We’re both certified wedding planners and business owners and we are working with clients that have hired us locally to be their full or month-of planner. Another service we both offer is remote consulting and it is GOOD, you guys. So valuable. We set a two hour time frame and Skype or Facetime. $200 for 2 hours. And it includes a preview correspondence or follow up email. We can review your timeline, floor plans, shot list...whatever questions you have, at any stage of planning. Sometimes the most helpful thing is just picking a wedding planner’s brain before you even embark on the heavy lifting of wedding planning. A ‘Getting Started’ meeting can get you on the right track and save you tons of time, money and grief later down the road. We’re here for you! You can email us together at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or individually at Michelle@allureconsulting.com or Christy@christymatthewsevents.com We would LOVE to hear from you! We love each other and we love that we are able to do this podcast, and that we have done it for well over a year now. We hope that our relationship and conversations about weddings and life have helped you and inspired you. It has fed our souls and we don’t take it for granted! Thank you for going on this journey with us! We have so many exciting episodes coming up and some big announcements as well. Links we referenced www.zola.com www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast https://www.theknot.com/us/deandre-upshaw-and-stuart-hausmann-oct-2018 Quotes “We keep it real. We keep it grounded. We’re not talking about some lofty version of wedding planning here.” - Christy, on our mission! “We want to thank you for listening and we want to celebrate this 100th episode with you! We want you to know that we are so grateful to be doing this.” - Christy “It freaking blows my mind still that there are thousands of people listening to you and me do this. Like bullshit around and talk and get excited!” - Michelle “This engagement is gratifying!” - Christy, we love connecting with our listeners “If you’re out there playing your own wedding and you feel in any way guilty or if you’re questioning if something is ok for you to do...Yes. It is ok.” - Christy, on second weddings “I’ve gotten a lot of life lessons out of this. I’ve learned more about myself and my family and it’s pretty amazing. That this has happened!” - Michelle “Yea, something a little bit cathartic happens between the two of us.” - Christy “Thank you for listening and thank you for giving us a reason to keep doing this!” - Michelle Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Trisha (from Episode 67!) got married to Sutton this summer in New Orleans. They rented out a venue for the weekend and hosted guests from all over the country for 3 nights of hot, sexy, boozy, NOLA fun. They’re on the podcast telling us what they learned and what they loved about their ‘best weekend ever’. Also, Christy was a VIP guest at this wedding (that’s what we called the non-wedding-party-wedding-party-stayed-at-the-venue-with-Trisha-and-Sutton) so she has lots of opinions too...mainly that the entire weekend was a total dream. And also notes that when you host a wedding with beer and wine only, it’s a nice treat to stow good tequila for the VIPS before and after parties…! Big Takeaways Don’t over-due the professional, formal photos! Trisha and Sutton learned a valuable lesson...when it’s hot and you have lots of family to get in the photos, it can feel...like a chore. Plan things out, if you can, so that you don’t have a solid hour of photos planned - anywhere in the timeline. Break it up. And if Trisha and Sutton could do it again, they would have taken more formal group photos at the rehearsal dinner - even though they wouldn't have been in their ‘wedding attire’ - it’s the people that matter (hello, Gramma!) and not the outfit. With photos - if your wedding is outside, pick a great indoor location for photos as well - as a backup for weather, but also just as an additional option for the timeline. Pick out the place and keep it set and organized (and keep people out of the way) so that it is there for you in the event you need it. When traveling with a wedding dress: if you can upgrade to business class, they’ll def hang it for you...if not, ask nicely and cross your fingers. Trisha strongly recommends that you carry-on ALL wedding attire that you will want on the wedding day. Don’t check the bag. Trisha and Sutton regretted (more Trisha than Sutton) not putting more thought into their own toast at the rehearsal dinner - to the beloved family and friends present, many of whom hadn’t met each other officially. She wishes she had been able to lovingly call people out at the wedding, since they won’t have the chance again...as a group. A couple of Trisha and Sutton’s “DOs” : Hire event babysitters if there will be kids and the venue is any kind of a free-for-all. Lifeguard and sitter to help take the parental pressure off would have helped them a lot. Read the fine print with tent companies and have your plan A and plan B in place in terms of how/when/where you will use the tent. Most tent companies have a decision deadline and if you can work with their terms, you won’t lose all of your money for a tent not used. Schedule in time with each other. Down time. Soak it up. If you can have an ‘overflow’ area - like an adjacent cabin, air bnb, or hotel room for kids and people that need a break...it will get used. Trisha and Sutton were really glad that they were able to stay at the venue for most of the day after the wedding...the relaxing time and the stragglers and the un-scheduled-ness of it was exactly what Trisha and Sutton didn’t know they needed. Links we referenced Trisha’s first episode: http://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/the-second-time-around Trisha and Sutton’s venue: http://raceandreligious.com Hangover Remedy: https://www.morningrecoverydrink.com - Christy can personally attest to this product Cake Plates: https://www.sweetandsaucysupply.com - great selection! Queen Cover Band: https://www.facebook.com/magnificoqueen/ (they were AMAZING) *Quotes * “Numerous family members of mine came up to me and said, ‘If Christy hadn’t been there, you probably would have fallen apart.’ She was an integral part of making the day happen the way it did...Lady, you were the glue that made everything amazing across the event. To have that solid person in your life, club...they’re so key.” - Trisha to Christy, flattery will get you EVERYWHERE “Every single kid was in that pool every hour that we were there.” “And some adults.” - Trisha and Sutton on the ‘decorative’ pool at Race&Religious “Here’s a tip: Don’t serve hard alcohol. Keeping hard alcohol out of the mix allows lots of great time to actually talk to people. Keeps the kookiness out.” - Sutton on the bar situation “If you’re having a destination wedding - you should host other weekend events if you can.” - Michelle, in a perfect world! “If your partner is extremely passionate about something, you do not rain on that parade.” - Trisha “Listen. Even if they don’t like cakes, they want a piece of fucking cake. It’s a real thing!” - Michelle Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Our guest today is Mirelle Eid of Honeybreak Officiants. We’re so stoked to have a pro in the house for this! We’ve talked a lot about writing your own ceremony script, and having friends as officiants...this is a trend, for sure. But if you want to hire an officiant - you need to find the right one! For this vendor, it’s personal. Mirelle shares advice for hiring and working with an officiant, creating a unique ceremony and some of her very favorite stories about her couples. Big Takeaways Mirelle’s first wedding to officiate was her gay uncles. She is passionate about marriage equality and equality in general and we LOVE this, of course. How to find the best officiant for you? Most of Mirelle’s couples find her online - instagram and her website. She is responsive and easy to get a hold of for the first consultation, which is a huge plus. Research and find some options that LOOK like they would get along with you. Then reach out! Mirelle always says, you should find an officiant that you want to be best friends with. Trust is key. Energy is important! Know the legal stuff! Every state (and in some cases, counties) has their own laws and if you’re having a wedding, you want to make sure that you legally get married while you’re at it! Mirelle helps to walk her couples through this...main advice: go early to the marriage clerk’s office! Research and be prepared. *Unique ways to make the ceremony YOURS: * Pick awesome unique readings for the ceremony script and have VIP loved ones do the reading. Get creative with the unity ceremony - it’s not all candles and sand-in-vases anymore. The wine-box ceremony is a fun one! Get in touch with the cultural traditions that might be way down the line in your family’s history - and put your own twist on it! You don’t have to do everything, but incorporating details in some way will make the ceremony special. A ‘ring warming’ blessing that your guests participate in. (We love involving your guests in different ways during the ceremony.) Links we referenced https://www.honeybreakofficiants.com https://www.instagram.com/honeybreakofficiants/ Quotes “I love meeting people and learning about their love story. I love love!” - Mirelle “I was looking for an outlet for joy. I was stressed...it was a little bit sad...I was looking for something that was going to be pure joy and this sort of fell into my lap.” - Mirelle “When I talk to couples, I tune in to their relationship. What’s their vibe? I ask questions and I do a lot of listening and from there, I get a sense of what type of ceremony is going to represent their relationship and their love.” - Mirelle “We called it our ‘honey break’... I equate that now with finding the moment of stillness and unity in the ceremony that you want to be fully present for. You want it to be this really special moment for you and your guests and really symbolic of your relationship. It’s kind of your ‘honey break’ - finding the peace in this special moment.” - Mirelle, on her business name Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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YAWA time! You ask, we answer. We’re tackling a few questions this week! Keep ‘em coming, yall! And don’t forget to leave us a review on iTunes as well. We appreciate you! Big Takeaways Christy has mono. Michelle has an endless supply of optimistic energy. Welcome! In summary: 1 Email “I want to taste the food before I book the venue!” Ask: At what point can we taste the food and does it have to be after we've decided on the venue? As we are starting to look at venues and pare down based on pricing, as food lovers, we want to make sure that we don't go for one venue over the next because it's more affordable, but then the reason it is more affordable turns out to be that the food is not as up to par. Answer: As far as the tasting goes - most venues (like hotels) do make you sign the contract and pay the deposit before you taste the food. This is because they want to book out the date way in advance, and the tasting is usually much later. Some clients don't love this system, though, because they want to know what the food tastes like before they commit to the venue! Understandable. Often, venues will offer open houses for this, although you may not taste exactly what you would put on a wedding menu - you can still get a pretty good idea of what the venue offers, and their general presentation style. Or, you can inquire about doing a paid tasting, before you book the venue. This is something that some venues/caterers offer -- basically, you pick a few things to try and you pay like you would if you go out to dinner. It's a little pricey, but worth thinking about if the food is very important to you. And it sounds like it is! Do your research too - look at their reviews and see if you can get referrals to talk to other couples that have recently been married there - then you can ask them what they thought about the food. Keep in mind that the official tasting for your wedding menu will be about a month or two before the wedding - they want you to taste what's in season and to work with the chef that you will be working with on your wedding day. 2 Email “Absentee Dad Issues” Ask: Will I regret not inviting my father? My mom is my best friend. She loathes my father, but she also thinks that I may regret not inviting him. So. What do I do? Invite him and hope for the best, while anticipating the worst? (The best being he shows up, behaves, and goes through the motions with me. The worst being he shows up and ruins the day.) Or do I just... not invite this person who I have a history of a toxic relationship with and maybe regret it? Answer: The good news is, you have people that love you and seem to understand the incredibly difficult position you are in. Here's my advice - a way you can maybe come to the decision through a different way of thinking about it. Imagine it's a year after your wedding, May 2020. You are looking through your wedding album and sort of re-living the big day. Imagine seeing photos of your dad in the album...how do you think that will make you feel. What would the circumstances be...the first that come to mind? Now imagine your dad being completely absent from the album...you're flipping through photos of you and your husband, of you hugging your mom, of you maybe walking down the aisle alone... How does this make you feel? Are you happy in the photos? Does it make you happy to look back on the wedding day? Know this - a person is not defined by one day. If you invite your dad and he shows up...you are going to get your dad. He isn't going to change just because it's your wedding day. I am not sure it's possible to invite him and then just go forward knowing he may not even come and then being perfectly ok with that...is it? Are you that unattached and flexible? And if he does show up and it's the best case scenario that you outlined in your email...does it resonate with you and feel authentic, or does it feel a little fake and shallow? It's your wedding, this decision is yours and there will be consequences either way... Implore your mom and your fiancé to give you a little space and to respect the decision you make, and ask that they help support you on the wedding day. Remember to be grateful for all the non-toxic people you have in your life. 3 Email “2 Quick Questions” Ask: I want my fiance to wear a nice black and white tux instead of wearing the same colors as the groomsmen. My questions is, if my fiance wears a black and white tux, will it seem like he doesn't fit with the groomsmen? AND How do I let people know what our wedding registry is and where to find it at? We aren't having a wedding website. I was thinking to put it on the invitation but I don't want to seem like I'm only inviting them to get gifts. Answer: We're all for the groom standing out! And we love a classic black and white tux. It's totally appropriate for the groom to wear something different from the groomsmen, but just try to coordinate and stay within the same range, stylistically. Different color or pattern bow tie and pocket square? How about all the grooms in black and white tuxes and the groom in a white dinner jacket?? (We LOVE a white dinner jacket.) Match formality: the groomsmen can't be in khaki pants if the groom is in a tux. Nice dark navy suits though? Perfect! If you aren't having a wedding website, do include an insert about your registry in the invitation suite. And make sure that your moms have the links to the actual registry sites and they can help anyone that asks about it. Guests want to know this information! It’s not awkward, we promise. Just make sure the insert isn’t as big as the actual invitation. 4 Email “How to communicate a ‘semi-kids’ wedding?” (4 emails this week?! Yes, that’s right. We love you!) Ask: I am having a semi kids wedding. I have two kids myself, and we are allowing family who is out of state to bring their children to our wedding. My mother always said that was etiquette but I am not sure about that. How do I word this on my invitation for my in state family that has kids, so they are aware that they aren’t invited. I don’t want to say ‘No Kids’ in some and then kids on the other. Any advise on how to handle? Answer: As always - we think you should do what you want on your wedding day. But know there may be consequences! And that’s ok! Try not to worry a lot about what other people think...lay down the ‘law’ and then just stick to it and move on. People will figure it out! Couple of hints - include exact full names on the invitations you send out. If you’re sending an invitation to a family of four and you want them all to come - include all the names or the wording “Smith Family” - and don’t do that when you are just inviting the parents, and not the kids. Also, get your moms and aunts to help spread the word and enforce the rule. Get some babysitters on the hook to help with your guests that have to travel with their kids, but make other plans for them since they aren’t invited to the wedding. It is possible to do a wedding like this - Michelle and Christy both did for their own weddings! But some people will definitely push back, and some people might not ‘let it go’ after the wedding. Pick your battles! Links we referenced www.zola.com/bigwedding *Quotes * “I’ll be the upper and you can be the downer.” - Michelle, to Christy “I’m recording a podcast. Everyone is dead.” - Christy, on interruptions “Yes - Paid tasting. I think it’s totally worth it as opposed to a group tasting. And that should not come out of your wedding budget - it should be a date night!” - Michelle, on catering tastings. Bring your wedding planner for a nice three-some date night! Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is our baby. We are following in the footsteps of awesome podcasters all over the world...namely the wedding podcast “Bridechilla” - the illustrious, premier wedding podcast. Host and producer Aleisha McCormack is gracious and knowledgeable and hilarious and we are so happy to have her on! Listen to her podcast and check out her wedding planning guides online. Links below! Big Takeaways Basically, we love the whole ‘Bridechilla’ community. The movement that Aleisha created is based on staying grounded, following your heart when wedding planning, staying true to yourself and stripping away the bullshit. We are all about this! Her podcast is all about sharing this message and an entire community has stepped together around the themes that Aleisha presents in her podcast. So- we’re fans. We’re colleagues. We’re peers. And we are so stoked to have her on the podcast - we think you are going to fall in love with her! Here on TBWPP, we focus a lot on same-sex weddings. It’s important to us and we want to be inclusive for our listeners. And on Bridechilla - she is awesome about focusing on and including the mental health issues, including depression. Both podcasts are about speaking to our listeners and giving them what they want! Sometimes, that is support. The Fuck-It Bucket. What?! In Aleisha’s: DIY projects that are half done. Gift bags. Favors. Chair covers. Links we referenced https://thebridechilla.com/be-a-bridechilla/ https://bridechillastore.com http://bridechilla.libsyn.com/podcast https://www.instagram.com/bridechillapodcast/ https://www.mamamia.com.au/podcast/the-bridal-party/ *Quotes * “I’ve always welcomed new voices in this space. As soon as someone is new, I’m like COME ABOARD!” - Aleisha, on the podcast club welcome committee “I’m not a wedding person. I’m a chick that got hitched and thought - actually, this is a lot more stressful and ridiculous than it should be. We’re planning a party. I’m a feminist, I’m pretty left wing. I like to swear. I’m entrepreneurial, I’m driven and I’m passionate. That all goes into the Bridechilla ethos.” - Aleisha, on the Bridechilla movement “My overriding message is about empowerment and it’s about making choices that suit you and your partner. And that also is about taking that into your marriage and into your life.” - Aleisha - YAS! “I think people have jumped on to this train because I break it down to exactly what you need. And all the other stuff is extras. They’re lovely extras. They’re expensive extras. But you need to do whatever you want to do!” - Aleisha “No one is going to leave your wedding and be like - It was a great wedding, but those chairs were disgusting.” - Aleisha, on an element of her fuck-it bucket list Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Planning your wedding in your childhood home? Your grandparents’ farm? A private estate owned by your elusive, rich aunt who loves gazebos? Great! As wedding planners, we love the ‘built in sentimentality’ of a venue that means something to our clients. But the logistics can be nightmarish. And hosting a wedding at your house may not save you money-- contrary to popular belief. You may even be shocked to learn that you may end up spending more! It’s a game of hidden costs, y’all. Big Takeaways A wedding at a private home is harder to plan than a wedding at a wedding venue. Boom. There are lots of things to think about, consider, spend money on, and to just plain figure out. Here’s a short list of ‘private home’ expenses that will add up: Flooring Tenting Restrooms / PortoPotties Generators / Power / X Cords / Outlets Valet Parking or shuttles running Extra Staffing Permits Accessibility Safety Lighting ALL rentals We go into detail about all of the above! How much space is necessary? 7 sq ft per guest. 6’ for an aisle. These are the norms, every wedding varies… Before you decide for sure that you are going to host your wedding in your private home - bring a wedding planner, a rentals person and a caterer out to your home and see what they think. Chances are, they are going to bring things up that you haven’t considered and you don’t know what you don’t know! Hire professionals, take their advice. A catering staff needs prep space and depending on what they have to load in - you could be paying A LOT that you wouldn’t pay at a traditional venue...like for counter space, and portable heaters, a refrigerated truck and a generator for the kitchen set-up alone. Get Event Insurance! Call your homeowner’s insurance agent to see how best to plan for a big ol party on your property. You better have a plan B if you are planning to do any celebrating outside! What about food trucks? We love food trucks! But if you do dinner this way, you have to think about the timeline...and again, the space. You need extra staffing, roving bussers, well-placed trashes...and you may need 2-3 trucks. Maybe stagger them! Links we referenced none! Quotes “It is twice as hard and twice as much work, logistically, to do a wedding in a place that is NOT a venue. And also, for the record, any time clients use the word ‘just’ on the front end...we know you’re up to something.” - Christy, you can’t trick a trickster! “Power and space and land. Flat land. Those are important. And then there’s parking and bathrooms and kitchen.” - Michelle (lions and tigers and bears) “You can’t expect guests to just stand next to each other and hold their tacos in their hands. Where are they going to put their drinks?” - Christy, thinking about the important parts “Go into this with your eyes open and your budget flexible.” - Christy, some jedi advice for wedding planning in general Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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We’re getting personal on this one! We’re wedding planners. You know that, right? But what do we WEDDING PLANNERS really think about our clients? What do we wish you knew? What drives us crazy?! We’re gonna tell you. Buckle up. Big Takeaways 10(ish) Things Wedding Planners Wish Clients Knew **Listen to the episode for our elaborations! Come Prepared to a wedding meeting. Especially if it’s an initial consultation. Look at the vendor’s website at the VERY least. Communication is VITAL. We’re talking about between the client and planner, but it goes for life generally too. Be open, be honest. Make decisions! In a timely fashion. When you hem-and-haw, you frustrate everyone and you slow down the process of wedding planning. Yes, there are big decisions...there are also deadlines. Embrace the deadlines Once you find what you are looking for, stop looking. Instead of a hard number for your budget, have a range. Make sure you have the funds for the TOP of your budget range. You don’t need to let your vendors in on your entire decision-making process. Vendors need final decisions. Emailing them everytime you change your mind is probably not necessary and could muddle and confuse things. Keep it simple. Be smart about how you display your seating assignments! And don’t worry if someone cancels the day before the wedding...no need to mark up that perfect seating chart sign that you printed. BUFFER time. Know it, love it. You need it. Definitely consider the hair/makeup micro-timeline, and definitely consider the shuttle/transportation schedule. Be prepared for an extra 10-30 minutes of buffer time. Hair and Makeup stylist should stay past the ceremony if possible! 9.5. Embrace every moment. This is a challenge, so choose to practice mindfulness during the wedding planning process so that you are ready to live in the moment on your wedding day! Your wedding party shouldn’t act like assholes to your wedding planner. Links we referenced http://www.dreamalittledreamevents.com Quotes “We wouldn’t have done this at the beginning of the podcast, because it’s a little bit ‘circle of trust.’ We’re giving you OUR opinions about this wedding planner / couple relationship. We’re giving you the inside track.” - Christy, with the CliffNotes preface for today’s episode. Warning! It’s about to get candid. “It’s so important that you keep an open line of communication with your planner, whether it’s positive or negative. You’re not going to piss them off...and if you do, maybe you shouldn’t be working with that person.” - Michelle “You can go on to Pinterest and you can go down a black hole. Yes, be specific about what you want. Yes, aim high. But also...when you find it...say yes and turn the page. Once you find it, please stop looking.” - Christy on decision making “There’s Pinterest, and then there’s reality.” - Michelle - oh man, if we had a dime for everytime we said this… “Don’t you put your time constraints on me, wedding planner! I am a lash expert. And I have to make this perfect!” - Christy, imagining what makeup artists really want to say to us Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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The end of the month...time to pay your rent, bitches! And also, time for another monthly installation of our ever-popular YOU ASK WE ANSWER! This month we are dealing with an MOB that doesn’t want to sign contracts, BIG ol’ Jewish weddings, and wedding hashtags. You kids these days, always up to something! This week we have Claire reading listener questions AND...We got a voicemail question!! QUESTIONS / BIG TAKEAWAYS 1 Email “My Mom Won’t Pull the Trigger!” Ask: What to do when the mother-of-the-bride (and main bankroller of the wedding) is suspicious of vendor contracts, deposit policies and hiring vendors ‘too early’? This bride-to-be also asked about when it’s appropriate to hire vendors...is a year out too early? Answer: You gotta educate her! All legit, professional vendors should have contracts. Your mom should read and understand these contracts and ask lots of questions before signing anything. But she should not throw down the gauntlet for vendors in a way that is off-putting. If I get an inquiry from a MOB and she asks questions and wants to know specifics, I try to be as transparent as possible...but I haven't been hired yet, so I can't let myself spend hours editing, and explaining and changing the ways I do things. I have learned after many years in this business that this is a red flag for a potential client. If someone doesn't trust me, I don't want to work with them. It's not going to be a good situation for either party as the planning process moves forward. 9-12 months is a sweet spot for hiring most vendors. Earlier than that is probably too early. Also - insurance! Get wedding insurance now and you'll be covered in the event that one of your vendors ghosts you and flees with your deposit! (Unlikely, but anything is possible). Check out our episode on this very topic! 2 Voicemail Question “I’m feeling good about my big ol wedding! But why do people keep looking at me like a crazy person when I tell them I’m inviting over 400 people?” Ask: Our wedding is probably going to end up being about 350 guests. Our raw invite list is actually sitting right now at about 430, but with RSVPs will end up around 350...I would love to hear if either of you had worked with an event quite this big because whenever I say those numbers to people, they sort of stare at me like a deer in the headlights, and I wonder if I’ve messed something up and gotten myself in a little too deep Answer: First off, you have not gotten yourself in too deep. My biggest piece of advice is to keep in mind and be ok with the fact that you will NOT be able to spend time with each an every guest on a personal level on the wedding day. Make sure that you and your fiance make some sort of a toast and speech sincerely thanking each and every person for being a part of your lives. Make it fun, have great music and lots of room for dancing. It’s BIG, but it’s not impossibly big! 3 Email “We need a great hashtag!” Ask: We need help with a wedding hashtag. I’ve seen a few sites that give you generic options but we want something clever and punny and we’re drawing a blank. Do you have any recommendations on services that create cool wedding hashtags? I’d be willing to pay a fee. Answer: Michelle and I are dinosaurs, remember, so hashtags are not our specialty. ;) I don't know any businesses that help with this specifically. What about if we ask our listeners? That would be so fun! You could get some good options that way! I think the best thing is to pose the question to your people - your friends and wedding party may come up with some great ideas for youl. Links we referenced Sponsor! www.zola.com/bigwedding - also, Claire mentions Zola! Reminder about wedding insurance: http://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/wedding-insurance-and-why-you-need-it Photo sharing WedPics: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/wedpics-wedding-photo-app/id549402355?mt=8 *Quotes * Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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It’s PRIDE month and we’re so stoked to talk more about gay weddings in this episode! Big Takeaways First things first - Congratulations Michelle! She’s an Auntie! Baby Viviana Michelle was born just one day before we recorded this episode. Mama and baby are doing fine and Michelle is thrilled to be an aunt and Godmother. Some Pride history / facts Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month (LGBT Pride Month) is currently celebrated each year in the month of June to honor the 1969 Stonewall riots in Manhattan. The Stonewall riots were a tipping point for the Gay Liberation Movement in the United States. In the United States the last Sunday in June was initially celebrated as “Gay Pride Day,” but the actual day was flexible. In major cities across the nation the “day” soon grew to encompass a month-long series of events. Today, celebrations include pride parades, picnics, parties, workshops, symposia and concerts, and LGBT Pride Month events attract millions of participants around the world. Memorials are held during this month for those members of the community who have been lost to hate crimes or HIV/AIDS. The purpose of the commemorative month is to recognize the impact that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals have had on history locally, nationally, and internationally. The SCOTUS ruling: Obergefell v. Hodges, June 26, 2015 - a landmark civil rights case in which the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that the fundamental right to marry is guaranteed to same-sex couples. The ruling requires all fifty states to perform and recognize the marriages of same-sex couples on the same terms and conditions as the marriages of opposite-sex couples, with all the accompanying rights and responsibilities The quote: Justice Kennedy: “No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.” This is the quote we are seeing included in most gay wedding ceremonies - all or part. It is important and it is beautiful. Here’s some exciting CEREMONY stuff we are seeing as more gay couples plan their weddings...ways to express themselves and their relationship with their loved ones: Aisles - Gay couples are scrapping the traditional walk down the aisle, for a lot of reasons! So, as wedding planners, it’s a super fun challenge to get creative with the processional. How you design the entire ceremony space depends on if you want an aisle, or two, or a ceremony in the round...do you walk in together? Do you meet in the middle? Are you given away by a loved one? Tons to think about! A Ceremony Toast - one thing gay couples are doing during the ceremony that is considered a ‘new tradition’ is a toast during the ceremony. Champagne can be passed as guests arrive for the ceremony, or (Christy’s personal favorite) you can have the caterer tray pass champagne down the aisle in the middle of the ceremony. A toast - by the officiant - or a guest (like a reader) is proposed and everyone says cheers. It’s a way to acknowledge the chosen friends and family that support the couple. It’s something you don’t see a lot of during straight weddings and it’s a hit, trust us! The pronunciation! Pronouns are important - for trans couples, the moment the officiant ends the ceremony with a pronunciation of marriage and an introduction Links we referenced: Great Article on the history of PRIDE: https://www.bustle.com/articles/166925-the-origins-of-pride-month-what-you-should-know-about-its-history Gay Wedding Planning EXPERT: https://gayweddinginstitute.com Planning Tool via Wedding Wire: http://gayweddings.com Photographer Steph Grant: http://www.stephgrantphotography.com/blog/ Photographer Tony Valadez: http://tonyvaladez.com Photographer Cindy and Sharon: http://www.samesexweddingphotographers.com Our episode with Bernadette Smith (gay wedding expert): http://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/gay-weddings-with-bernadette-smith *Quotes * “Rules and traditions are changing...working with what is important to you to include in your ceremony and not necessarily what you are ‘supposed’ to do or what you’ve been told you should do...weddings are evolving.” - Christy, on ways that straight couples can express themselves...inspired by gay couples “That was one of my very favorite wedding ceremonies. Every word that they said to each other felt weighted and elevated at the same time because they had already had a lifetime together.” - Christy sniff Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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First of all - chiropractors should not fully grab your butt cheeks when they are working on you. We want to make that clear. Now - paper products! If you’re planning a wedding, you will have to deal with some of this, most likely. It’s one thing that pretty much every couple has to do, one way or another. We’re talking about the necessities, the ‘extras’, and the ways that paper products can elevate the design of your wedding with personal, custom touches across the board. In the second half of this episode, Michelle interviews Kristin Berry Mastoras - Miss Design Berry (link below) all about her business - custom art and printing for weddings and so much more. (Hit up her instagram...it’s full of awesome stuff!) Big Takeaways Utilitarian: Invitation Suite, RSVP card, rehearsal dinner invitation, thank you notes. The standard stuff. ‘Extras’: Full signage - you can go crazy with signage! Place cards, Escort cards, ‘guestbook’ poster, programs, menus, favor printing, labels, and any print materials for your welcome bags. Paper products can be used to add your own ‘flair’ to the wedding. They can be fun! You don’t have to do it all, you don’t have to coordinate it all. But we think it adds character to the wedding for sure. Big Question: Online Paper (links below) or Custom Design Paper (this is a business that does design and printing. It’s custom and someone is working with you from start to finish to get it right? Or the ‘in between’ - Brick and Mortar chain like Paper Source, Papyrus, or Hallmark. With these stores, you go in and talk with a consultant, look at templates and examples and you can hold the paper in your hand before you pick. The most popular wedding favor for Miss Design Berry: custom coozies. Second place goes to edible favors and she designs a lot of favor tags or stickers to help dress those favors up. Clients have even had her custom artwork (a painting of the bride and groom) printed onto the snacks themselves. Cookies with your face on them! What’s not to love? Popular signage right now? The ‘unplugged’ wedding sign. The best verbiage for this is polite...talk about your desire to have guests be in the moment with you during the ceremony - to be present. These kinds of custom print materials are GREAT for all kinds of gifts. So special and thought ful Links we referenced Minted https://www.minted.com Vistaprint https://www.vistaprint.com/stationery?txi=15659&xnid=TopNavLetterheads+%26+Stationery&xnav=TopNav Expressionery https://www.expressionery.com/estore/Wedding/catalog240001ctlg.ct?networkId=Expressionery Shutterfly https://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/wedding-cards-stationery/wedding-invitations (Wedding Paper Divas is a part of Shutterfly now) Ceci New York https://www.cecinewyork.com - more expensive, luxury option Smitten on Paper https://smittenonpaper.com/collections/wedding-custom Miss Design Berry https://missdesignberry.com Miss Design Berry instagram https://www.instagram.com/missdesignberry/ Listener shop! https://www.etsy.com/shop/VictoriaStewardSigns?ref=shopsugg Michelle’s friends shop! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SHRHDesigns?ref=searchshop_redirect Quotes “We drank last night. And we were like, what are we doing, it’s a Tuesday night!” - Michelle “What does that have to do with it?!” - Christy “It’s our podcast, we can do what we want.” - Christy (this should be our new podcast motto) “Your invitation is going to set the tone for your wedding. This invitation is going to give a...hint of what the wedding is going to be like.” - Michelle, meaning both the look and the content of the invitation let your guests know what to expect “We’re focused on pieces that are going to add a special element to the wedding. And we like to design things that you are actually going to display after the wedding...Beautiful little custom works of art that you can hang at home. Something that you’ll get more use out of than just one day.” - Kristin “We can kinda do anything, that’s the cool part of the illustration. As creative as our clients are, we can make it happen. So there’s a lot of creativity involved, on our part and with the client as well, which makes it really fun for us.” - Kristin Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Michelle interviews adventure wedding photographers Abbi and Callen Hearnes. They live in their van full time and they shoot everywhere - most often at Yosemite and Moab. Their photos are OFF THE HOOK. And yes, we still think that saying is relevant. Big Takeaways Housekeeping! 1 We - both Michelle and Christy - do hourly consulting via Facetime and Skype. You don’t have to meet us in person to pick our brains and work out some wedding planning issues together! Just hit us up and we’ll schedule you in! We’re offering a discount on our hourly fees to podcast listeners and we promise, it’s a lot of bang for your buck! You can hire one of us or both of us together. Michelle - michelle@allureconsulting.com. Christy - christy@christymatthewsevents.com 2 One of Michelle’s former brides and a guest on the podcast (Episode 57 “A Wedding Day Story”) had two new podcasts of her own out now and we think you should check them out! “The Pet Loss Podcast” and “High on Paint Fumes with Stephanie Lam”. The Hearnes found out fast that as soon as they committed full time to their photography and hit the road (literally), they were on a fast track to success. The go above and beyond - again, literally - to make these photos happy. Their clients love the adventure, the Hearnes love the adventure, and the photos are filled with life and joy and smiles...all against a ridiculous backdrops of high elevation, extreme rock formations, and huge sky. The photos are high drama, but so grounded. Absolutely breathtaking! Here’s the blurb on their website: We are a husband and wife destination wedding photography team with an emphasis on epic landscapes and grand adventure. Our photography style is romantic, timeless, and true. We strive to capture your wedding day in an authentic way, creating photos filled with emotion and beauty. We are outdoor enthusiasts inspired by windy mountain tops, rocky deserts, towering forests, and striking coastlines. We believe there is no such thing as bad weather if you have the right attitude. Our couples prefer a peaceful, relaxed wedding day with an emphasis on their love for each other and for the outdoors. We are nomadic wedding photographers living on the road full time, which allows us to serve the west coast, southwestern desert, rocky mountains, and the pacific northwest. We have simplified packages that include travel fees for weddings in Utah, California, Oregon, Washington, Arizona, Colorado, and Wyoming. We are no strangers to long drives. You might see us in Yosemite National Park one weekend for a sunrise wedding, followed by a canyoneering elopement in Moab, Utah a few days later. We have updated passports and are willing to travel anywhere in the world. Who hires The Hearnes? Couples that prioritize experiences and traveling over ‘nice things’ and that’s how they plan their weddings. They work with couples that live like they do, and they work with couples who aspire to be as nomadic and adventurous as the photographers are. What a cool way to start your life as a married couple! A lot weddings that the Hearnes shoot are elopements. Some have a few guests...but most are just the couple and an officiant. They hike up to the spot (hike included in the photography package!), get married, and hike back down. Amazing photos to commemorate the occasion! Tips: Research your national park permit requirements Don’t check your dress Know what it takes to be a ‘legal’ marriage - every state is different Make sure the shirt/jacket coordinates with the dress (if applicable) Callen and Abbi are full time explorers. There aren’t two other people who know Yosemite like they do - so the location knowledge is what makes their photography packages so invaluable. We are in awe. Links we referenced Our episode with Stephanie Lam - former bride and current podcast host and producer: http://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/a-wedding-day-story The Hearnes instagram account: https://www.instagram.com/thehearnes/ The Hearnes website: https://thehearnes.com/more-info The Moab retreat company mentioned: https://www.wildsolretreats.cQuotes “I was like Holy Shit! Who is this? There’s this couple. On a cliff. The couple looked really happy...and there was like this freedom and love exuding from this photo ...I was like, who took this photo??” - Michelle, on how she fell in love with the Hearnes “It’s definitely a challenge living in such a small place together and running a business together... But it’s totally worth it. We always say that we reduce the size of our home, but we have an infinite backyard.” - Abbi “We are trying to show people that you can elope, and still have the dream wedding that you’ve always wanted.” - Abbi “We’re wedding planners, we’re hiking guides and photographers. And then we’re friends at the end, which is the raddest thing about this gig.” - Callen “It’s really important to hire vendors that know what they’re doing and know how to work in the place that you are getting married if it’s not in a traditional place that they’ve been before.” - Abbi “The biggest takeaway is that you can do something different. If the big wedding doesn’t resonate with you, you don’t have to do that. Just figure out what feels right for your personalities...Do it on your wedding day and do it together.” - Abbi Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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YAWA time! You ask, we answer. We’re talking about the importance of a month-of planner, the difference between a day-of coordinator and a venue manager, and what to do when one partner’s family is complicated and small, and the other partner’s family is wonderful and big. Guest list creation brings out emotions sometimes, and we’ve heard from many couples about how stressful it can be. Let us help you! Big Takeaways A few random things we learned: Christy can’t handle having fake nails. Christy and Michelle agree that pubic hair sucks. And all our listeners need to become PATRONS ON OUR PATREON PAGE! In summary: 1 Email “Future Mother-in-Law Wants to be the Planner” Ask: How does an American bride get her French mother-in-law to see the light when it comes to hiring a wedding planner for her wedding in France? Answer: Try to sell it as a peace-of-mind thing. And that while you appreciate his mom's help and advice, you want to be able to bond with her without wedding planning defining your entire relationship. Your partner needs to agree with you and then help you by pitching it to his mom - as an opportunity to relax and enjoy the weeks leading up to the wedding. Especially since you have family traveling in and with all the planning from abroad. Everyone will feel so much more confident if a month-of planner was on board. And you want to avoid any unnecessary conflict between you and your future MIL, and also lessen the burden for her. We suggest you stand your ground on this one! 2 Email “Venue Coordinator seems good. Do we still need our own day-of planner?” Ask: This dear bride has a nice venue picked out and they seem like a wedding-machine. The venue provides all rentals and handles all catering and provides a planner throughout the planning process as well as an on-site coordinator day-of. Does this bride still need a wedding planner? Answer: In short - maybe. Typically with a wedding-machine-venue like this, the day-of coordinator that they provide will suffice, if you are having a fairly simple wedding in terms of logistics. Keep in mind, though, that the coordinator works FOR THE VENUE, not you. We definitely suggest that you pull in an additional day-of coordinator if you have the funds. If not, a venue coordinator is certainly better than no coordinator at all , and if you're lucky, she'll be totally awesome and meet all your needs! It’s important to find out exactly what she will and won’t do so that you can make an informed decision and feel relaxed and in capable hands for the entirety of your wedding day. 3 Email “Family Situation = SAD” Ask: How do I best support my fiance in guest list planning when his family situation makes him upset and sad? Answer: Totally agree that the guests at your wedding should be the most important people in your life as well as those you think will stick longer than the wedding date. Have you had a chance to listen to our "Episode #5 The Guest List"? Link below. 2 questions you two need to consider when culling the familial invites in order to keep your sanity: 1) Will this particular person upset him on his wedding day? Make trouble of any kind? If so, then I would strongly advise not inviting him/her 2) Would not inviting this person cause your fiance to feel strong regret after the wedding day is over? If so, then I would lean on inviting him/her. Links we referenced www.zola.com/bigwedding http://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/the-guest-list Quotes “He doesn’t seem to really get it! How do I get my fiancé and MIL on board with at least a month of coordinator?” - Listener “I suggest you ask lots of questions in regards to what exactly she'll do for you, and more specifically, what she won't do. Also, try to make sure that whomever is helping you through the planning process at the venue will also be present on the day of, and get specific hours.” - Christy, answering a question about venue planners “This really shouldn’t be a frigging question - of having at least a month-of planner.” - Michelle sums it up “We should put that on our business cards, since we both specialize in it. ‘Christy Matthews Events - AT LEAST a month of coordinator!’ ” - Christy and Michelle agree on rebranding “This is an investment...we eat, sleep, and breathe weddings. And we spend a lot of time and energy in our job doing what we do. Believe me when I tell you that spending $2-3,000 is along the lines of what people pay for professional wedding coordinators. And it is money very well spent.” - Michelle, describing the value of the role “We’re big fans of self care and therapy. For all of those that are going through difficult dynamics and situations with your families...take care of yourself and your hearts, and take care of each other.” - Christy Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Anomalie brings more transparency, customization and value to wedding dress shopping by partnering with the world's top factories and selling direct to brides. You can create your own wedding dress with a designer that walks you through the process...and you’ll be shocked by the price. Silk materials, top quality craftsmanship, a revolutionary online interface and dedicated stylists who treat each dress as if it was their own. We’re talking to Leslie Voorhees, the founder of Dress Anomalie in this episode - if you are looking for your wedding dress - stop what you are doing and LISTEN! Big Takeaways “Smarter Wedding Dresses” - Anomalie is doing things differently. Like - reallllllly differently. Disrupting the wedding dress industry is a good way to describe what Leslie Voorhees has stumbled upon and then set out to perfect, as a bride-turned-entrepreneur. The entire DRESS process is online...here’s the blurb from Anomalie’s site about how it all started: Like almost every bride, I was frustrated with the obscene markups and non-transparent processes at wedding dress boutiques. I know my way around a factory, so I decided to investigate. I discovered firsthand that dresses boutiques sell for thousands cost mere hundreds to create. I also discovered that nearly every designer brand outsources production to third-party manufacturers. My husband and I became obsessed with how to fix the broken wedding dress industry, and personally vetted dozens of suppliers. Within several months, we formed direct relationships with the best ones and both left our jobs to launch Anomalie. The end result for our customer is that we can deliver a higher level of quality and customization for a better price than any other option in the bridal industry. We can’t wait to tell you more. Leslie Voorhees, Co-founder We love stories with this formula: problem-found, problem-solved. When Leslie was having trouble finding her own wedding dress, she dug a little deeper into the industry and ended up finding factories in China where wedding dresses are made en masse and then shipped here. Between manufacturing and overhead, the price escalates...and brides find themselves trying on and considering dresses that have been tried on dozens of times, then they order and wait for it to arrive - no refunds some of the time - then after multiple fittings, a bride walks away with her wedding gown. A gown that many other women may also be wearing. With Anomalie - a bride works with a stylist to create a custom gown, with custom fit. The process is so cool! Turns out brides don’t actually need to have the experience of trying on dresses in a shop or boutique! Listen and find out how Anomalie is replacing that experience with their online process...and saving you a lot of money by doing so. And - most importantly - you, the bride, get a dress that you designed with your ideas, for your body! It’s unique, it’s custom, and the experience is one that is embraced by all Anomalie brides. Check out their instagram page for pics of all the REAL Anomalie brides. They’re gorgeous. It’s digital...but it’s not ALL digital. There are fabric swatches sent, custom sketches are drawn and sent as a keepsake and all of the measurements are done in person by tailor partners working with Anomalie all over the US. We have learned, after years of working with brides, that the dress-buying process can be very daunting. We aren’t all models, we aren’t all sample sizes. It was absolutely refreshing to talk to Leslie about body image, confidence and the hurdles that women jump in order to feel beautiful on their wedding day. The hurdles that Leslie and her team help to overcome...for women of all sizes, shapes, styles. Links we referenced Dress Anomalie’s Website: https://dressanomalie.com Anomalie’s instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dressanomalie/ Anomalie's Blog is awesome! It provides wedding educational content regardless of if you use their service or not. https://dressanomalie.blog/ Quotes * “It’s like the lost city...it’s like Atlantis for wedding dresses!” - Christy about the small town “This is an awesome new concept that you should know about. If you’re going to be wearing a wedding dress...I would definitely check out Anomalie.” - Michelle “Our process is done digitally, which is a little different. But we found that working with brides over the phone and online, we can save a lot of costs. The traditional boutiques have overhead...by centralizing with our San Francisco and our Hong Kong office, we can deliver all that value to our brides.” - Leslie, about the Anomalie process “I though, there has to be a better way to do this and I was so surprised that no one had explored an online model yet.” - Leslie on how she got the idea for Anomalie “We’ve had a lot of sweet embroidered message inside of the dresses….it really is such a personal garment. To have the ability to make something that you want instead of something that is off the rack...in the past, you would have to pay couture prices for that.” - Leslie Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Leslie Vorhees Means.

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We've recorded a BONUS episode this week because Prince Harry and American actress Meghan Markle just got married! If you haven’t been living under a rock, this is something you’ve heard a little about! The wedding was on Saturday, May 19, 2018, and we are sharing our thoughts. Big Takeaways We are not the experts on this topic, necessarily. We know that it’s a big deal, we know the wedding industry is all ‘atwitter’ about it, and we know the whole world has an opinion about that wedding gown (we loved it). We’ve got some opinions of our own though, so we hope you enjoy listening to our bonus episode all about the #royalwedding! Michelle is going to start using ‘pageboy’ in all her ceremony layouts. Gather up that gaggle of kiddos and celebrate duchess-style when you walk down the aisle! Christy is fairly certain that the flyaway hair and modest tailoring of the dress were intentional. Everything about that wedding was. Gospel choir singing ‘Stand By Me’ - YES PLEASE! **If you want to receive an email newsletter - TBWPP’s first official membership newsletter - email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com with ‘Newsletter’ as the subject and we’ll send you the masterpiece. This is a one time offer - the newsletter is a benefit of becoming a patron via www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast. Let us know! Links we referenced Our illustrious sponsors: www.christymatthewsevents.com www.allureconsulting.com A few of the sites we got royal info from: https://news.sky.com/story/royal-wedding-prince-harry-and-meghan-markle-set-to-marry-as-guests-arrive-11378255 https://www.vox.com/2018/5/19/17372352/stand-by-me-royal-wedding-meghan-markle-prince-harry https://www.royal.uk/royal-wedding-2018 Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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We are STOKED to have feminist artist, author and former Bride, Katrina Majkut on the podcast. She wrote the book ‘The Adventures and Discoveries of a Feminist Bride’ and it is awesome. Eye opening! Christy devoured it and Michelle has some ‘aha moments’ during the podcast recording. This episode is not to be missed - you’ll laugh, you’ll learn, and you might even change some things up for your own wedding after listening to this episode. Enjoy! Big Takeaways ‘The Adventures and Discoveries of a Feminist Bride’ invites readers to join author Katrina Majkut on a personal and powerful prenuptial journey. With fearless curiosity and fun feminism, the book asks such questions as: Why do brides need their parents’ permission to marry? Why don’t men wear engagement rings? And why do women change their surname? Katrina’s book examines proposals, engagement rings, wedding cake, garter tossing and so much more - plus, she shares her own journey, and the decisions she made for her own wedding, which we found so accessible and fun to read. What do I need to do to make this a feminist wedding and/ or an appropriately ‘mine’ LGBTQ wedding? 1. Make sure that your fiancé is on board. Equality and respect can only happen if everyone is working toward the same goals. 2. Don’t accept tradition at face value. Learn about what your buying into and investing in. Doing so will add more meaning to the process and event. It will even empower you and your fiancé because you’ll make tweaks so your wedding will represent you not some industry-pushed ideal and generic, obsolete value. These traditions all have back stories and some of them are not awesome! Decide what’s right for you and your partner. Make the wedding mean something to YOU! 3. Be mindful of resorting to traditional gender roles. Ask yourself why am I defaulting to doing things this way? Even if the impact is not obvious, will this negatively impact someone I love or myself? How can I do them differently? And what’s the benefit to me and the people I love. 4. Being part of a team is awesome, but not if it comes at the expense of your individuality. Your unique self is what helped to make the team special in the first place, that’s who made your partner fall in love with you. There’s a ‘we’ in wedding, but there’s also an ‘I’ too. 5. Accept that it is not “the brides big day.” You may be throwing a party in you and your fiancé’s honor, but you’re also a host to friends and family. Be as generous and respectful to them as you would yourself. I hope this mindset lends itself to being an intersectional feminist, where how you throw a party takes into consideration the diverse values and lifestyles of your nearest and dearest because there are a lot of traditional wedding traditions that don’t, such as the bouquet toss and the “no ring, no bring” guest policy. Top 3 Most Sexist Traditions: 1. Bridal Shower (Chapter 5, page 58) 2. Engagement Ring (Chapter 1, page 9) 3. Name Change (Chapter 14 & 15) & Wedding Titles (Chapter 7, page 82 &14) Same-Sex weddings are changing the game and we are into it! Couples are creating new traditions, picking and choosing what they want to honor and how...for many gay couples, it feels like they are making up their own rules. This can be daunting and liberating...for planners, it’s super fun! With the way gay couples are turning tradition on it’s side here and there, all couples are able to make moves towards more equitable wedding planning and wedding days. Tweak things so that they are more meaningful to YOU and your partner. YOur guests will love anything you do with an authentic voice...and that is a great start to a great celebration. Links we referenced Buy the book! https://www.amazon.com/Adventures-Discoveries-Feminist-Bride-Before/dp/1684330114/ref=sr11?ie=UTF8&qid=1526441631&sr=8-1&keywords=feminist+bride Katrina’s website and blog: http://thefeministbride.com Want to learn more? http://thefeministbride.com/10weddingtraditionsworthskipping/ http://bust.com/books/19625-jill-filipovic-h-spot-review.html Quotes “I’m always so impressed with people who write books. I don’t even read books!” - Michelle “Yea, you probably should start there.” - Christy “It’s really important to me not to just critique a system that’s broken, but to offer solutions. People want a call to action...there are lots of different options available to partners out there.” - Katrina, Feminist Bride “A big theme in the book is how to be more vigilant about the things we just follow. I think there is a culture of accepting a tradition at face value and not questioning it. And there’s this hedonistic factor...we’re told if we do all these things, then we’ll be really happy. We’re not programmed to question that.” - Katrina “If you’re someone who appreciates the right to vote, access to birth control, having the right to exist in the work-place or the home without the fear of violence...you might be a feminist.” - Katrina “The cake is made out of all fertility symbols. It’s just a big superstitious tradition that is meant to knock up the bride.” - Katrina Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Katrina Majkut.

The Adventures and Discoveries of a Feminist Bride: What No One Tells You Before You Say "I Do"

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This week, it’s all about HAIR and we went to the professionals for this one. Have you thought about your wedding day hairstyle? Listen in as Michelle attends a Higher Education Event for Hair Stylists called “First Looks and The Business of Bridal” put on by Pony Education and featuring Master Stylists and Educators Corinna Hernandez and Dre Donoghue. Big Takeaways Invest in a good hair stylist for your wedding day. Book your stylist at least a year in advance and have a trial. Thank you to the following stylists for sharing their stories, tips and tricks of the trade with us Gia Tummillo www.hairbygiatummillo.com Marissa Lauren https://www.instagram.com/yourmomdoeshair/?hl=en Elise Cole-Da Cruz, Owner & Stylist of Bird & Bull Salon, Sacramento, CA https://www.instagram.com/birdandbullsalon/?hl=en Rebecca Kingsley, Stylist at Bird and Bull Salon https://www.instagram.com/peccaboo/?hl=en Shelly Cross, Stylist at Barrow Salon, San Francisco, CA http://www.barrowsalon.com/ Featured Stylists Interview: Corinna Hernandez, Pony Education http://www.ponyeducation.com/ Dre Donoghue, http://www.dredonoghue.com/ Links we referenced Song Finch: https://www.songfinch.com - Our awesome sponsor http://www.ponyeducation.com/ Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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You know those gorgeous, magazine-cover-worthy, sexy, cinematic engagement photos you see online - the ones with the beautiful couple frolicking in the ocean as the sun sets behind them casting a golden glow over their gorgeous, entangled bodies? Yeah....That's what we're talking about on this one. We’re talking to the California photographer that has mastered the art of the sexy, beach-y engagement photo. She has tons of advice about engagement sessions, hiring the right photographer, and dressing for success. Big Takeaways Christy reads the news every morning before she gets out of bed. Michelle doesn’t. She drinks water and meditates. Do you! Big Photography Companies - Ashley got her start in George St Weddings, she was contract photographer for them back when she first started shooting weddings. Ashley got paid an hourly fee, and the clients met her on the wedding day, no consultation beforehand. We on TBWPP strongly advise our clients to meet with their photographers ahead of time. We encourage you to hire a professional that you really feel comfortable with, since the photographer-client relationship is very important. Especially on your wedding day! Golden Hour - the last hour before the sun sets. It’s glow-y and warm and photographers LOVE it. In Orange County, on the beach, this is the perfect time to shoot an engagement session. Ashley’s instagram (link below) is full of these photos, they are sexy and soft and quintessentially California. Ashley says her main goal is to show the connection between two people and that it all starts with communication between everyone. When everyone is comfortable, Ashley can have some fun with them - and that’s when the sexiness shows up! Photographers and planners work hand in hand. If you don’t hire a planner, your photographer ends up having to coordinate the flow day-of. And while she’s doing stuff to facilitate transitions, or position cake cutting, or wrangle family members for formal photos, she isn’t actually shooting! So, you, as the couple, might miss out on some great shots when you look at your album later...because your photographer didn’t capture everything she should have! A planner allows a photographer to do her job - well! A photographer’s job is 10% shooting and 90% editing and running a business! Consider that when you are looking at pricing - finding one to hire. Ask them if they edit their own photos or outsource that job, if it matters to you. Places Ashley’s brides shop: Lulus, Free People, Asos, and Flynn Skye. Links below! Links we referenced Song Finch: https://www.songfinch.com - Our awesome sponsor https://www.ashleypaigephoto.com https://www.instagram.com/ashleypaigephoto/ https://www.lulus.com http://www.revolve.com https://www.freepeople.com http://www.asos.com/women/dresses https://flynnskye.com *Quotes * “You’re drinking water and meditating, I’m chugging coffee and devouring news. All before 7:30 am. That’s why we’re so good together. Because we go the opposite way.” - Christy, on morning routines “The most important thing on a wedding day is to trust your photographer. You need to trust her, and you need to vibe with her!” - Ashley “My favorite part of the wedding day is getting time alone with the bride and the groom. Because those are the photos that are going to go on the wall. I maybe get 20-10 minutes of this on the wedding day, but for an engagement session, I get 1-2 hours.” - Ashley “It’s really important to have some kind of planner or coordinator, especially if you have a larger wedding.” - Ashley, after telling us about the time she had to herd guests into the hall for dinner (missing out on shooting time) “I’m looking at your instagram, these photos are very sexy. There’s a lot of body-talk going on!” - Michelle, on the sideboob we see on Ashley’s feed “With your engagement session, it’s awesome if you incorporate things that you connect on, or do something that you do together already - it’s going to make for great photos, and it will feel less staged.” - Ashley Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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It’s time for another #YAWA! This week, we are tackling 3 listener emails (and they’re all multi-question emails) regarding wedding day timelines, photographer’s plan B’s, ‘friends’ you don’t want to invite anymore, how to schedule formal photos for a morning wedding ceremony, bridal shower hostess drama, ceremony-to-reception-commutes, and confetti exits! So many things to discuss. Let’s go! Big Takeaways In summary: 1 Email “Plethora of Small Questions” Ask: How long does it take to light 70 votive candles? How long does it take to do 20 tables visits during dinner? Where can I find a comprehensive wedding day checklist online? And more... Answer: It takes 2 people less than 10 minutes to light 70 candles. Get the long lighters with the curve in them if you want to be very quick. Also - check with your caterer, sometimes they can do this for you, no biggie. Table visits take a long ass time. Check out the Martha Stewart Weddings link for a comprehensive checklist! 2 Email “Bridal Shower Invite Dilema” Ask: Long story short, is it appropriate to invite someone to the bridal shower - in this case because they are close with the hostess of the shower - when they are NOT going to be invited to the actual wedding? Answer: It’s not ideal, but it’s your wedding and the circumstances can get a little messy...stick to your guns and don’t invite someone to your wedding that you don’t want to invite! If it’s a distant relative that you never see, they’ll get over it. And in the meantime, you won’t be hanging out with them anyway! 3 Email “Long Commute” Ask: What to do in terms of formal photos when the wedding starts in the morning, the reception is a brunch reception and the drive from the ceremony to the reception takes 40 minutes? Answer: Utilize the time in the limo driving from one location to the other! Make sure you are organized and communicative with your photographer - draft a detailed shot-list for the post-ceremony formal photos, have a matriarch of the family help you out during this time by wrangling people that need to be in photos...we have LOTS of advice for this one, because it’s about the day-of timeline. And that is our wheelhouse, babes! Links we referenced www.zola.com/bigwedding https://www.marthastewartweddings.com/600838/wedding-day-checklist?slide=832789 *Quotes * “We are now coming to you with hands at heart’s center, prayer, whatever you want to call it, and we are asking for your support on Patreon.” - Michelle “We’re asking for some money, y’all. Drop us a latte’s worth of coin once a month.” - Christy, we’re not too proud to beg! “The Big Wedding Planning Podcast really separates itself from the masses by offering truly practical and easily applied info on timeline creation and budgeting. They have episodes dedicated to exactly how to create certain excel worksheets.” - Reviewer, See? We don’t just shoot the shit on this podcast! “I was put in an uncomfortable situation today by my family and could use your advice.” - Listener “You cannot control others, you can only control your reaction to others. You keep on doing what you are doing. Enjoy this magical time in your life and focus on the positives as they definitely outweigh the negatives.” - Michelle, giving a listener permission to NOT invite a distant relative “It's so frustrating when you have things planned and you have goals and then a family member just kind of pulls the rug out from under you with one inconsiderate move.” - Michelle, we’re with you, girl! “We're planning a confetti exit. Any tips on making sure that guests throw it appropriately? I think this could look great or be a disaster.” - Listener, with a good question. It absolutely can be a disaster! Let’s avoid that. “You have to give people hugs! People want to say something to you! Of course.” - Christy, on why table visits during dinner take a while “The bottom line is: Whatever you decide, once the decision is made, be at peace with it. Move on...do not lose sleep over it any more.” - Christy, summing up the advice this week Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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If you have listened to the podcast for a while, you know we talk about money A LOT. We have an entire episode dedicated to the budget breakdown and we discuss money/fees/costs/value with wedding industry pros we have on. We generally encourage you, our dear listeners, to create a realistic budget, temper insane expectations, stop comparing yourself to the Pinterest Joneses, follow your hearts, and to keep your eye on the prize. We do NOT think it’s a wise idea, or a worthwhile venture, to go into massive debt for your wedding. We try to remind you all to stay connected to your partner throughout the planning process and to strengthen your communication skills. All of this is to lay a foundation for a successful MARRIAGE - not just an awesome party. It’s stressful. It’s expensive. We get it! We’re here to help and today, we are taking a broader look at planning...wedding planning and financial planning. Life planning. Together. Dan wrote a guide titled ‘How to talk about Money with your Spouse: The Ultimate Guide.’ His business is called ‘Adulting With Money.’ Links below! Big Takeaways Dan is a financial COACH - that’s very different from an advisor, banker, stock broker…He is a professional that helps people (couples) create good habits and teaches the skills necessary to make good decisions financially. He helps couples learn how to lay the foundation and communicate with each other so they can collaborate on financial planning. Working together, playing on strengths. The work of financial planning and record keeping doesn’t have to be 50/50. One partner might be better at keeping track of expenses than the other. The ‘work’ can be 90/10, but the BIG expenses and decisions need to be 50/50. Joint accounts. Dan emphasizes that there are happy marriages all over the spectrum on this. But here is the typical successful situation that he’s seen: All the paychecks go to the joint account, and all the bills get paid from the joint account. Then have separate accounts to use for the "fun money" or "spending money". Often, many couples will also set up a few, smaller accounts to park money for a down payment or emergency fund. Fun money: do it! If you opt to combine bank accounts and have one main pool from which to draw from for big monthly bills, it’s a great idea to still keep a small account individually. It helps make people feel independent. You have may have to tweak the amount after some trial-and-error, but as a general rule, it’s a good idea. Where to start? Let’s say you’re engaged and you have about a year until your wedding. You want to start talking about budgeting and long term financial planning. Expect it to take about 3-4 months of trying and tweaking the numbers until you get to a do-able sweet spot. It takes some getting used to! Remember that the plan will evolve and that you will make mistakes, but keep your eye on the prize! You can’t predict the future. So start with some estimates and then keep track as best you can so that you can adjust as you go. Apps help! The links below are all budgeting apps and tools that couples can use to keep track of expenses and stay on the same page. Links we referenced Mint: https://www.mint.com/ (the gateway drug for budgeting) YNAB: https://www.youneedabudget.com/ EveryDollar: https://www.everydollar.com/ Mvelopes: https://www.mvelopes.com/ GoodBudget: https://goodbudget.com/ https://www.adultingwithmoney.com/bigwedding - This is Dan’s FREE guide! Quotes “The first thing you need to do is just sit down and have a conversation...Now that you’re together, what are your goals as individuals and how are you going to combine those now that you are going to be a family?” - Dan “If you’re worried about your partner hiding money from you...that’s not my wheelhouse.” - Dan “The good news is, there is no perfect way to budget. So you’re not doing it wrong!” - Dan, coming through with some optimism! “The skill becomes planning ahead, but when something goes wrong... sit down, have a 5 minute conversation, flip some things and then move on. Give yourself and your spouse some grace and some room to make mistakes.” - Dan, with advice we love Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Special Guest: Dan Hinz.

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We are pleased to introduce you to our new Jr. BFF...our social media assistant...or unofficial intern...Claire! We’re quizzing Claire on wedding trivia today, AND talking about Welcome Bags. What are Welcome Bags anyway? We’ll tell ya. We put the ask out for help months ago and Claire stepped up and has since helped us step up our podcasting game. We are so happy to have her on board and she’ll be helping us bring you great content - so, a win all around! Big Takeaways Housekeeping! Upcoming episodes: Financial Coaching for couples, Sexy Engagement Shoot How-Tos, “Top Notch Hair Peeps”, another YAWA, and an extra special wedding dress niche that you are not going to want to miss. We have LOTS of big plans for the podcast and for guests...so stay tuned! Tell your friends! We played Wedding Trivia with Claire to make sure she was up to par. What fun! Here are some of the factoids: Most popular location in the world for destination weddings: Las Vegas Approx 62% of weddings have a Flower Girl Most popular flower used in American weddings: Rose Engagement and wedding rings are worn on the fourth finger of the left hand because it was once thought that a vein in that finger led directly to the heart. Green is a taboo color in Scottish weddings because it’s the color of fairies and is a symbol of revenge. It’s even considered unlucky to eat green vegetables during the wedding. Welcome Bags - traditionally utilized for destination weddings, this gift for guests is making it’s way into the mainstream. How to put them together, who to give them to, and how to distribute them...we’re breaking it all down. Check out the links for awesome examples of Welcome Bags, and companies that will do all the work for you...for a price. Ideas for Welcome Bags Snacks (Snacks are always a good idea! Regional snacks are extra special.) Bottle of water ‘Hang over’ cures or kits (look these up on Amazon, so cute!) Mini bottles of alcohol City of wedding stuff - map, brochures, itinerary, list of favorite bars/restaurants/parks… City knick knack souvenir Branded wedding stuff - maybe a coozie? Pashmina or scarf, lightweight blanket Personalized note Bug spray or sunscreen Links we referenced https://www.songfinch.com - create your own wedding song with our awesome SPONSOR! https://maptote.com - for welcome bags https://www.vistaprint.com/promo/catalog/bags/totes.aspx?swsr=tote&swsrn=0&rd=1 - custom tote bags and schwag https://www.simply-bags.com - https://saltandpepperco.com - luxury, curated boxes to be mailed - https://asignaturewelcome.com - custom welcome boxes - https://opheliaruth.com - custom and corporate gifting, Dallas - https://www.marthastewartweddings.com/333539/welcome-bags-real-weddings?slide=873618 - slideshow of examples of Welcome Bags *Quotes * “There are plenty of wedding planning podcasts out there. I’ve listened to quite a few. What I found is that they all gave me that first day of school feeling, sick to my stomach and like I was forgetting something. Then I found TBWPP and it changed my outlook.” - Reviewer Yvonne - we love this! “I feel like I’ve been invited to the tree house!” “You’ve been invited to the closet!” - Claire and Christy, on recording together with Michelle for the first time - Welcome Claire! “As we grow, we’ve been learning everyday. Every day, I learn something from doing this podcast.” - Michelle, a life long learner “And the millennials, doing whatever the fuck they want...They’re shacking up together, they’re sleeping on air mattresses and in the back of Volvos...we don’t know!” - Christy, on why organizing and distributing welcome bags is tricky these days, in the age of millennials “Like, the Dollar Store. One of my favorite stores. You can get everything there, almost everything, except for the nips.” - Michelle, and she means booze, people. Not nipples. Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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Amanda has been listening for the last 7 months while planning her wedding. One weekend, she roped Erick in on a road trip...he's hooked! Our guests for this episode are real engaged couple, Amanda Faile and Erick Tjarks. Amanda has a blog (link below) and here’s what she said about TBWPP: “Not only are these girls equipped with never-ending knowledge, they’re hilarious. I often wish I was hanging out with them as they are so funny and full of life. They’re also the reason Erick and I splurged and hired our month of coordinator, Taylor Boesen of White Willow Events. Whether you’re planning a wedding, helping plan a wedding, or simply interested in learning more about the crazy bridal industry – listen to their podcast, you won’t be disappointed.” Awesome! Listen to this episode to find out how a midwestern couple is planning their own destination wedding. (Living in Chicago, Planning in Des Moines.) Amanda and Erick talk about their good decisions, their compromises and things they wish they had done a little differently. Plus - goldendoodles! Big Takeaways Housekeeping! 3 important things this week: 1 We are having a special guest on this month, Dan Hinz, financial coach. If you have any questions about money (joining accounts, how to bring up debt, apps to help plan together…), please email them to us and we’ll ask Dan! 2 April 8, Michelle will be at Lake Chalet in Oakland, CA for the ‘Pony Salon: Business of Bridal’. http://www.ponyeducation.com/first-looks-the-business-of-bridal-with-dre-corinna/ 3 We have a Patreon account and we would LOVE for you to go become members for special exclusive benefits. If you’re reading these shownotes, you are a superstar listener and now you can be a part of our inner circle club! Type A Bride and Involved Groom - Amanda and Erick worked together on wedding planning and the distribution of labor (we mention this a lot on the podcast, it’s usually more than a little bit uneven) was pretty fair! We’re looking at approximately 150 guests for a budget of 25k. Wedding spending goes a lot further in Iowa than other parts of the country (I’m looking at you Coasts!) Amanda and Erick were very clear about their priorities (awesome photographer for her, awesome band for him) from the onset of wedding planning, and they skewed their budget to accommodate those priorities. Challenge #1: The Bar Plan. One compromise that they did make was on the open bar. Erick wanted one all night for his guests (who doesn’t??), and it got to be too expensive when negotiating with the caterer and venue. Limiting to just beer and wine wasn’t a good option because Amanda drinks vodka, so the two decided to pay for a set amount of alcohol and then when that money ‘runs out’ - the bartenders will inform Erick and Amanda and they can decide if they want to buy more, or if they want to go to a cash bar for their guests. (Listen to our Bar Service Quick Focus Episode for more on all things bar at your wedding!) Challenge #2: Hiring vendors when you don’t live in the area. In order to hire a local band without actually seeing them live, Amanda and Erick looked at a ton of YouTube videos and scoured the reviews on wedding sites like Wedding Wire and The Knot. They feel confident with their choice because they did a lot of research, but also because the band manager was responsive and helpful over email. Hiring vendors without interviewing them in person requires a lot of back and forth over email and Amanda encountered vendors that just weren’t getting back to her…and that’s a red flag. Professionals lost out on their business because it took so long to respond to Amanda and Erick. Communication makes a BIG difference. Cool Detail: Combining Dirt! Erick and Amanda are going to combine dirt from their home towns…the mom’s are going to bring soil/dirt to the wedding and combine it in a pretty vase during the ceremony. Earth to earth. Something that Amanda and Erick can maybe use to plant something at their home one day. It’s a nod to the Midwestern roots and combining their two backgrounds. Their minister came up with the idea and our dear couple loved it. The biggest thing Amanda took away from the podcast when planning her wedding was to hire a ‘month of’ coordinator. She ended up hiring someone that has worked at their venue often and it’s a perfect fit. Hooray for our good advice and the positive impact it can make! Links we referenced Amanda’s lifestyle blog about TBWPP helping her on her planning journey: http://www.livingaf.com/home/2018/4/2/wedding-planning-101 Amanda on Instagram: @amandafailla (remember the video we posted of these two cuties singing our theme song? So fun.) Our Bar Episode: http://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/quick-focus-bar-service Quotes “Long time listener, first time caller!” - Erick, the first time a guest has said this and we love it! “You closed the bar down on a Tuesday night? That’s so romantic!” - Michelle, an eternal romantic “She’s a tough negotiator and I’m a ‘pay-to-make-it-go-away’. - Erick, on teamwork! Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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This month’s questions run the gamut! We’re talking about parents, rings, and welcome bags. We delve into the pros, cons, and what-ifs and we dish out some compassionate advice regarding potentially emotional decisions. We think we’re doing right by our dear listeners and we so appreciate the follow up emails that these brides sent us after we answered them. Happy that we are able to share their experiences with you all! What We’re Doing We have decided that we’re going to do a ‘You Ask, We Answer’ every month. Last Wednesday of the month - tune in and we’ll be answering your questions. In detail! With chutzpah! So, keep sending us your questions, your problems and your issues related to wedding planning. We read everything, we answer every email, and we might read your email on the air (don’t worry, we’ll ask permission!) so that your questions, and our answers, can help countless other people in the midst of wedding planning. It’s a win win, y’all!

1 Email “A Ring Dilema”

Ask: It’s obviously been four months since we decided to get married and I don’t have a ring yet. I have thought about the ring for a long time. And I have an idea of what I would like to have but I’m troubled. His mom offered us his grandmother’s ring. I like it, But it’s definitely not what I had pictured for myself. Answer: Head to a jeweler and see about a custom ring combining elements from Grandma’s ring into a new custom ring that will make you happy and still feel sentimental!

2 Email “My Father is a Maybe”

Ask: He sent me a message saying he would be there come hell or high water. It was nice, and I want to believe him, but it is obviously difficult. My question is: Do I walk myself down the aisle? Answer: We think you should do what makes YOU feel confident and beautiful and happy. Don't make the decision because of how you think your dad feels or doesn't feel about your wedding. Make the decision that feels right to YOU.

3 Email “WTH Welcome Bags!?”

Ask: Our carefully curated, beautifully assembled welcome bags...would you deliver to all of the guests by somehow capturing their lodging in advance? Would you limit them to only those who are booking and staying in our block? We’re expecting roughly 150, which translates to about 80 gift bags. Answer: This is tricky since your guests are staying all over the place! We think the hardest part will be the organizing, not the actual delivery. If you want to go above and beyond, every guest traveling in to your wedding should get a Welcome Bag. So start that spreadsheet, honey! And get your parents to help gather addresses. Then get your wedding party and friends to help you deliver them the day before the wedding. Good luck! Links we referenced www.ponyeducation.com - Michelle will be at this hair styling event in Oakland, CA https://www.zola.com/bigwedding - Our Sponsor! When you sign up, use the /bigwedding and get a $50 credit just for being a TBWPP listener https://www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast - Help us Make Podcasts Great Again! *Quotes * “I do think you need to LOVE your engagement ring. In my experience, it's the only piece of jewelry that will see the light of day for the rest of your life!” - Christy, who loves her rose gold wedding ring! “Unfortunately....Although Welcome bags are fun and guests love them, they are a hassle, no way around it.” - Michelle, first the bad news “The more people we reach, the more we give. And if we have some financial help to do that, we can do more, for more.” - Christy, encouraging YOU to become patrons on our Patreon account “Also welcome grooms if you’re listening! We welcome you. You do not have ovaries or a uterus.” - Christy, obvious, but noted Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast

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As legal use & consumption of marijuana becomes a reality for some of the United States, the business of pot intersects with the business of weddings and we’re here to find out how and why! We’re talking to an expert on cannabis weddings, and how couples (in California and Colorado) are incorporating a little green into their weddings. The topic has more to it than meets the eye! Big Takeaways Our guest is Ivy Gaitatzis - she is a cannabis events coordinator, and certified wedding planner. Her business, Token Events, curates cannabis and brand experiences for tourists and locals in the San Francisco Bay Area. She is leading the charge in California for normalization of legal cannabis use, and to define and enforce industry standards. Basically, she is a pioneer in the world of legal marijuana and when she saw a demand for event planning in this realm, she jumped in and began connecting the opportunities with the vendors and laws. Now she’s an authority on all three! How are people incorporating weed into their weddings? It’s not all about consumption! Bud Bars in lieu of standard bars Passed edibles in addition to passed apps Favors - instead of a tiny potted succulent, a guest can go home with a tiny potted pot plant! Decor - marijuana leaves incorporated into the boutonnieres, bouquets or centerpieces Joint rolling station instead of a cigar rolling station Vintage vases as bongs and pretty glass pipes mixed in with other decor Hemp or hemp silk as table runners or veils Who knew weed was so complicated?? We sure didn’t. CBD vs THC. In a nutshell: CBD doesn’t get you high, it affects physical pain like an aspirin. The THC does get you high. CBD can actually counter the effects of THC. The laws are changing often in California and other states where cannabis is legal (it’s still ILLEGAL federally, btw), so events need to comply with current laws. For example, right now, Ivy is planning her events in private homes, and there are rules about where people can smoke, or vape. Links We Referenced Cannabis concierge events and services: http://tokenevents.ca Some background on current California cannabis laws: http://www.thecannifornian.com/cannabis-culture/everything-know-california-marijuana-laws-kicking-jan-1-2018/ Cannabis Wedding Expo: https://www.cannabisweddingexpo.com/all-regions *Quotes * “I’m passionate about connecting people... And of being a part of shaping the direction in which this industry is going. And the cannabis industry is going to impact the wedding and events industry, the food and beverage industry, the health and wellness industry, the beauty industry...I have an opportunity to make a remarkable contribution.” - Ivy, on her calling “My clients are from all walks of life...Cannabis enhances parts of their lives. Whether they are daily users or if they use it for ritualistic purposes. It could be recreational use, like you might have a glass of wine after work.” - Ivy, explaining to us who her clients are in California “There are so many creative ways to incorporate cannabis into a wedding, so it doesn’t just end with edibles.” - Ivy Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! Special Guest: Ivy Gaitatzis.

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Funfetti, Metallic Icing, Dolly Parton’s Tattoos and no more naked cakes?!! Lauren Kitchens is back and she is talking 2018 Cake trends and how to work collaboratively with creative vendors. Michelle felt really left out the first time we had Lauren on the show, and this time, she makes up for it! We are so stoked to have Lauren Kitchen’s - owner, operator and artist at Fancy Cakes by Lauren - back on the show. The first time, we talked about cake basics, and this time, we delve more into the artistic side of things. (Also, have you heard the rumor that Dolly Parton has tons of tattoos? It’s Christy’s favorite rumor of all time.) Big Takeaways Have we mentioned Manly Bands yet? Promo code TBWPP - 15% off your purchase. They’re awesome, believe us. How do awesome clients work with Lauren? She gets clients that want to challenge her. It’s a brainstorm between the client and Lauren from the very beginning. A bride comes in with a vision, and Lauren asks questions and gets a feel for the couple and then starts to sketch...some ideas stay, some ideas go. It’s rare that a client will come in with a photo of a cake and ask Lauren to exactly replicate it. Lauren specifically mentions that the more you can tell her about your other vendors, and about decisions that have already been made - the better. Give her the details, and you’ll leave the consultation with a VERY good idea of what Lauren can create for you. (Here’s a hint - a photo of the wedding dress will help get the creative juices flowing for Lauren. If you don’t want to show her the dress in person, email a photo of it.) Vendors that have been around for a while, work really well together. For Lauren, the more communication she has with the other vendors at a wedding, the better. It makes the biggest difference in the success of the overall vision. At the tasting - keep it small. Just you, and your fiance, and maybe your planner. Let the baker walk you through the process...the less opinions in the room, the better. You want time to actually TALK to and share ideas with the baker. When negotiating with creative vendors, find out what THEY want to do...and you may be able to get a lower price because they want to have something cool and new in their portfolio. Lauren mentions doing an awesome cake for practically pennies because she really wanted to have it (Yoda) in her portfolio. And, having a wonderful personality can help when you want to negotiate with vendors as well. :) A cake can sit out for about 5 hours before being cut and served. The longer it sits out, the less structurally sound it is. We talk a lot about the way a cake looks, but it’s also super important that it tastes good! And the creativity doesn’t stop with the icing - you can get creative with the cake and flavors too. Lauren is open to doing new or different flavors, outside of what’s on the menu, if your wedding calls for it! Just know that if you are requesting your grandmother’s cake recipe, it’s not going to be exactly as you remember! Quick trends: Copper and metallic tones = IN. Naked Cakes = OUT. Gold > Blush. Links we referenced www.manlybands.com - our sponsor! www.fancycakesbylauren.com - Lauren Kitchen’s website - check it out and see all the amazingness https://www.instagram.com/fancycakesbylauren/ https://www.instagram.com/graceloveslace/ - Michelle’s new favorite wedding dress designer instagram page Quotes “The armadillo cake in Steel Magnolias...it’s the greatest cake in cinema history. It still stands up, man!” - Lauren, talking about the very realistic dog cakes she loves to make “We want to give you some insight about how to work with creative vendors that will be successful and collaborative and in ways that you won’t really really annoy or anger them. How to get the most out of your creative vendors.” - Christy, with the show synopsis “Go make the design decisions and THEN come to me.” - Lauren, with directions for clients “If somebody wants to me to help them design their wedding, I’m like, let me see the dress. What’s your ring look like, and what is the venue? Those three elements are helpful in creating the design of the wedding.” - Michelle, on the creative vision “Cake is like a newborn. It’s pretty resilient. You can drop a cake on it’s head!” - Lauren Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show! Special Guest: Lauren Kitchens.

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Ashley & Blake were truly the most relaxed, joyful, smile-y couple from start to finish on their wedding day and while we know that some of that is just the kind of people they are, we can’t help but think that some of their day-of attitude was also by design. Christy was Ashley and Blake’s wedding planner at their wedding a month ago in Dallas, and we wanted them on the podcast today to share their advice and hindsight about their wedding day...and specifically how they both stayed so darn happy all day long. What they did, and didn’t do, that led to such a positive experience: We present to you, a retrospective, from Ashley and Blake, the happiest couple ever. Big Takeaways When Ashley and Blake started to plan their traditional wedding, the biggest hurdle was figuring out the venue, which in turn, informed the budget. When both families are contributing financially to the wedding, but not equally, it can be tricky figuring out exactly who is paying for what, and where to draw the line. In the end, this couple decided that they weren’t going to ask any more from one set of parents, and figuring that out got a little sticky. Expectations needed to be adjusted, and Ashley and Blake worked together to figure it out, and to communicate well with their parents. Negotiating sometimes falls into your lap - when the hotel underwent some renovations, Ashley and Blake went with the flow. For a price. They managed to get a few extras thrown in because there were a few elements that were TBD, depending on the construction completion. This kind of negotiation is typical with hotel venues because they are dealing with much more, everyday, than just one wedding. When the hotel needed Ashley and Blake to adjust their wedding date by a week - they accepted the new terms, and got a few upgrades added in due to the inconvenience. Advice from Ashley and Blake: Hiring a planner is key! Ashley and her mom did the majority of the planning, but they knew they didn’t want to deal with logistics the weekend of the wedding. They listened to good advice from recently married friends who told them to hire a day-of coordinator at minimum. Then, as they planned the wedding, they could rest easy knowing that all of the details they were planning would be handled by a professional. Hiring a photographer that they instantly clicked with (puns!) was a big part of Ashley and Blake’s wedding planning success. They felt like they were in good hands from start to finish between their planner and photographer, and that allowed them to really relax and enjoy their wedding day. Priorities! Blake and Ashley talked about the things that were really important to them when they started to plan their wedding and when things would get overwhelming or when decisions became tough, they went back to their list of priorities and stayed the course. In the end, their wedding was everything they wanted it to be because it focused on the initial list: Food, Booze, Music, People. By booking some vendors early - like their DJ - Ashley and Blake got great deals! Trust your vendors. This was easy for Ashley and Blake because they trusted their planner - who recommended these vendors. Keep your eye on the prize! Blake and Ashley never lost sight of the fact that the wedding day is supposed to be about getting married! They knew that was going to happen...and everything else was bonus-awesome. Invite people you know are going to celebrate YOU. If you have some judge-y, toxic friends or family members - maybe they don’t need to come to your wedding. Planning all the events at one hotel made the scheduling a lot easier for Ashley and Blake, their parents and their wedding party. Don’t skip the grand entrance! It’s once in a lifetime! Links we referenced Other TBWPP episode that relates to Ashley and Blake: Trish Dove, photographer: http://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/fall-in-love-with-your-wedding-photographer Other vendors that Blake and Ashley hired (that we talked about on the ep) Lizzie Bees Flower Shoppe: https://www.lizziebees.net Trish Dove - Beatbox Portraits: https://www.beatboxportraits.com LeForce Entertainment: http://leforceentertainment.com The Adolphus Hotel: http://www.adolphus.com *Quotes * “There was a steady infusion of alcohol throughout the day.” Blake, on the key to his happiness. Kidding! (Kind of.) “When I go to a wedding I remember these things: The Food, the booze, the music and the people. So as long as we have those things...those are the things that people really remember. At the end of the day, it was going to be a fun day, if we had those things taken care of.” - Blake, on priorities “I knew it was going to fly by and so I kinda wanted to soak in every moment and I didn’t want to waste those moments stressing about things.” - Blake, infinite wisdom “I asked for advice throughout the planning process from my friends and coworkers and most of them said, ‘Ashley, no one is going to remember all these little things!’ So, that was comforting.” - Ashley, seeking advice Get In Touch EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show!

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We have decided that we’re going to do a ‘You Ask, We Answer’ every month. Last Wednesday of the month - tune in and we’ll be answering your questions. In detail! With chutzpah! So, keep sending us your questions, your problems and your issues related to wedding planning. We read everything, we answer every email, and we might read your email on the air (don’t worry, we’ll ask permission!) so that your questions, and our answers, can help countless other people in the midst of wedding planning. It’s a win win, y’all! Big Takeaways Quick reminder - don’t forget to hashtag #planthatwedding when you post about our podcast or your wedding planning. We’re tagging everything with #planthatwedding - across all social media. And if you send a little video of you listening to the podcast (love our opening song? Thanks!) - you will MAKE OUR DAY. 1 Email - “Unkind Mother of the Bride” Ask: This listener, Cheyenne, wrote in about her mom. “She’s always been an unhappy person, but it wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized how narcissistic and downright mean she is.” This heartbreaking email outlines the bride’s tense relationship with her mom, and how it’s affecting her wedding planning. This bride has distanced herself during the planning process, but is very worried that her mom’s involvement and presence will ruin the wedding day, and taint her experience of what is supposed to be a joyful day. She wants to know if she should cut her mom out of the wedding completely. Answer: Note that we are not therapists. But we do have some experience with all of this. Repeat this; “I can no longer wish my mother to be who I want her to be.” Release your expectations of your mother - she will never meet them. Take her for who she is, or don’t. Don’t put any weight on your mom’s reactions any more. Our advice is to invite her to your wedding. And for the rest of the planning process, and on the actual wedding day, shut her down immediately anytime she begins a sentence that starts to go negative. (Don’t ask for her advice. She’ll likely give it anyway, but don’t ask.) Something like this, “Ok, mom. Love you.” And then you hang up. Or walk away. Or close the door. Try not to let her get to you. It’s your wedding day and it sounds like it’s going to be beautiful - enjoy it. You can’t change your mom. You CAN have the wedding of your dreams. We believe in you, Cheyenne! 2 Email - “Newbie Wedding Planner or Experienced-and -Maybe-Over-priced-Planner” Ask: This bride wants to know if she should hire a planner that is new to the industry and offering a great deal for full planning, or an experienced planner with fairly high prices. Answer: There are pros and cons, of course. In our long answer, we emphasize the importance of “month of” planning, as we have often on the podcast. Things to think about: - With the established planner, make sure that you know -in writing - exactly who will be there managing the wedding day. (It could be an associate, and you should know if this is a possibility.) - With the ‘newbie’ - get references of previous brides she has worked with, even if it’s only 2. - Also with the newbie - check out her day-of templates. Make sure her contract is long and legit. A good vibe between you and your wedding planner is VERY important. You have to go with your gut a little. If you feel like the newbie will: - have your back - aim to please - be very responsive - stand her ground (advocate for you, be a strong liaison between you and vendors, make quick, SMART decisions day of, be assertive...) ....then we think you should hire her. There's no guarantee the experienced planner will be better just because she's done more weddings. We were all newbies at some point! Links we referenced www.livingaf.com and @amandafailla - super awesome fan that sent a video to us! https://www.zola.com/bigwedding - Our Sponsor! When you sign up, use the /bigwedding and get a $50 credit just for being a TBWPP listener *Quotes * “I lost more sleep and I was more anxious for this PTA event than I have been for any wedding ever.” - Christy, event planning runs the gamut “We want to know who you are!” - Christy and Michelle “Yes, we do believe in you. And we are here for you!” - Michelle, to our dear listeners “My question is: Should I just cut my mom off to avoid the eminent drama and hurtfulness that has no place at our wedding? I just feel like that will be the end of our relationship and something that I regret for the rest of my life. It feels me with anxiety wondering what horrible thing she will say or do during my wedding.” - Listener Cheyenne “Believe me, the next time she says something awful, stay silent. Silence makes this type of person very uncomfortable.” - Michelle, with advice for avoiding conflict “Make sure her timeline is super detailed. Make sure her contract is long and legit. And make sure she has templates for the ceremony layout...look at some paperwork.” - Christy, words of advice when hiring a wedding planner - you have to know what they are actually going to DO for you Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast BE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatwedding TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast PHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and it might be on the show!

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Allyson is a Canadian bride & TBWPP listener, who initially reached out to us almost a year ago with a couple specific questions she’d run into planning her wedding. Several emails later, Allyson had her dream wedding and then she gifted us with the BEST recap and list of lessons/advice. We loved Allyson’s ‘retrospective’ so much, that we asked her to be on the show so we could dissect it together. This episode is chalk-FULL of great information from one of you, our dear listeners! Big Takeaways Allyson originally emailed us 10 months ago - was a loyal fan and had lots of questions. She explained that she and her fiance wanted a really fun wedding, and their timeline was very relaxed...7 hour reception, no sit-down dinner, minimal announcements, etc. Also, she described a Pincho style of dinner service and we had no idea what she was talking about - or how to pronounce it. We wrote Allyson back with our advice and then she responded with an awesome follow up and she took a lot of our advice and was feeling GREAT about planning at that point - six months out. Also, she told us what a pintxo bar was: Just so you know, a pintxo (pinch-oh) bar, is a way they eat in san sebastian spain as well as barcelona. There will be a big ham leg being hand carved jamon, oysters, and snacks on toast. That sounds amazing. One big piece of insight Ally has is that listening to our podcast was super helpful! We don’t think she was blowing smoke either - she had specific episodes that she mentioned that helped her a lot, including the timeline and budget episodes. The convenience of being able to listen while she went running or did chores...huge. We’re so happy to provide this podcast for all of you! We helped her and now she wants to help you! A couple of Ally’s “DOs”: During the planning process - talk to and LISTEN to the matriarchs in your family about wedding stuff...you will get gems, we promise. Take the time to connect with your families Go to bed early the night before the wedding. Drink plenty of water! Maybe get in some yoga or stretching the morning-of. Allyson enjoyed a nice, quiet morning with her mom as they prepped the bridal party gifts and sat for tea. Bridesmaids (attendants) gifts - great opportunity to write your best friends a note thanking them for being with you on your big day, and helping to make it the best day ever. Ally gave her girls nice custom jewelry. Wedding Day gift/card for your partner - touching way to connect before the vows. It’s a keepsake forever! Ally and her partner Zach both did this for each other and they both felt like it was a great decision! First Look photos. We always recommend this to our clients...many pros. Hire a planner. (Duh - if you’ve listened to 2 episodes of this podcast, you’ve def heard us say this. We are happy to have a bride reiterate it!) Links we referenced Allyson’s highlight video: https://www.facebook.com/TruthAndTales/videos/1733460110038075/?fref=mentions Manly Bands: www.manlybands.com/tbwpp (15% discount! Woohoo!) Truth and Tales (Ally’s awesome photographer and videographer): http://truthandtalesstudio.com *Quotes * “Hello fellow brides! My name is Allyson and I just want to let you know that you will not be steered wrong with The Big Wedding Planning Podcast. Christy and Michelle know what they’re doing and please take the time to listen to them. They are the best!” - Allyson leads the pep rally for TBWPP! “Overall, our wedding was 100% the best day of our lives to date.” Allyson, with the words every wedding planner wants to hear “Listening to your podcast made planning and organizing our wedding so easy.” - Allyson, after our own hearts! “I thought it was such great advice to just sit in that glow for a while.” - Christy, on respecting the time and care that relatives (especially the women in the family) may give you during the planning process “SLEEP, people. It’s so important. Not only for your sanity, but also because you want to look good in the pictures!” - Michelle, a woman who respects her 8 hours a night “I didn’t want to be someone I wasn’t on my wedding day.” - Allyson, on why she wore a custom, handmade dress. The seamstress even sewed Ally’s mom’s buttons from her wedding dress into Ally’s wedding dress. Awesome. “You have to enjoy and let go...because the months and weeks leading up to your wedding are like a road-trip. It’s all about getting there.” - Allyson. And TBWPP is your map. Your tour guides. Your compass. You get it. “We do expect you to follow up with us for the rest of your life.” - Christy, to Allyson, our #1 fan Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast

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Michelle and Christy are awesome wedding planners. Fact. But one thing that we don’t usually do with clients is outfit the wedding party or dress the bride from head to toe. So we called in some experts - Trista and Alex from BTS Management based in Scottsdale AZ (links below) are event planners that focus on the styling aspect of the event, and they work closely with their clients to dress, style and push the fashion boundaries of every wedding. We had a lot of fun talking to them about wedding trends, fashion shows, bomb bridesmaids and breaking the fashion rules. Big Takeaways These two gorgeous ladies - Alex and Trista - showed up for our Skype session in full makeup, good lighting and it even looked like they were wearing pants. WHAT?! We immediately made jokes about our appearance inadequacies and asked if they were related. They get that a lot. Also, one of them (Alex) looks just like Daenerys Targaryen. And off we went! BTS produced and hosted a bridal fashion show event called “Dream” with the Omni Resort - they wanted to bring a bridal show to the market, but do it thinking outside of the box. It was a priority to be the best. The final product featured Randy Fenoli as the official host, and designs from couture high-end designers from around the world. The planning process got them invited to NY Fashion Week. And that over-the-top experience got the wheels turning for the Dream event this year. “Following the No Rule Rule” It’s important that any woman (anyone, really!) in your wedding party feels confident in what she’s wearing. She’ll be happier and it will show! The whole day can be informed and experienced by how amazing everyone feels in what they’re wearing. That’s the power of fashion! Think outside the box - you don’t have to wear white just because you’re the bride. The women in your wedding party don’t have to wear dresses...jumpsuits or tailored suits are hot right now. Be unique! Do your thing! Trends Trista and Alex are predicting: For men: mixing and matching patterns and colors. Burgundy suits, brighter blue suits. Wearing something different than the groomsmen. Changing into a white dinner coat for the reception. For women: dresses that push the envelope more with more skin tone showing through, high leg slits, plunging necklines… you know, stuff for the confident bride! Trumpet shape is out and princess dress tulle drama is sticking around. Stiff fabrics are out. Modern is in. Lace and embellishment detail...in. Requesting that the guests wear a specific color...it’s a thing! Put it on the invitation and the wedding website and you can pretty much style your photos before the guests even arrive. Imagine all the guests in black and red...and then you and your partner rocking sleek white suits. The photos are on point and everything else in the room is there to elevate the theme. It’s cohesive and fun. We dig it! Links we referenced BTS Event Management: http://btseventmanagement.com BTS instagram: https://www.instagram.com/btseventmanagement/ Dream Couture Event: https://www.omnihotels.com/hotels/scottsdale-montelucia/things-to-do/upcoming-events/dream-event Quotes “I’ve been told I look like Ricki Lake.” - Michelle “I’ve been told I look like Celine Dion.” - Christy LOL “We’re all doing something fun, and something that we love, and that we’re passionate about.” - Michelle, working mamas unite! “This needed to be cutting edge and high fashion and show stopping and just really kind of attention-grabbing. It needed to be done right.” - Trista on the Dream Couture Bridal Event “All of us as wedding professionals...we’re always trying to find that ‘something different’ for our clients.” - Michelle “You should look like YOU on your wedding day. Just the highest degree of you.” - Christy, does that make sense? “There’s nothing more unflattering that when a girl where’s something that she’s uncomfortable with. You can see it all over her face...so we really want to pay attention.” - Alex “Our guys are becoming such divas and we love it.” - Alex and Trista, on grooms with ‘tude “The fashion runway is where we are going to look for design inspiration because they are so cutting edge. It’s something that’s never been seen before.” - Alex, on where she draws inspiration Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! #planthatwedding INSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcast FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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We laugh a lot in this one as we talk with author Laura Willcox about her book, I Am Bride. Laura is a hilarious comedienne, actress, and tv writer. She has appeared on FX's You're The Worst, Comedy Central’s Inside Amy Schumer, MTV's Hey Girl, and UCB’s Trying, and has written for Girl Code, The New Yorker, Cosmopolitan, Jezebel and more. She planned her own wedding and found the experience mind-boggling. She wrote several wedding related articles and then wrote “I Am Bride: How to Take the WE out of Wedding (and other useful advice)” a satirical wedding planning book. It’s funny, dark, insightful and full of horrific advice for brides and grooms. “This book was very cathartic for me as I planned my big dumb wedding and I hope it'll help you as you plan your big dumb wedding too.” - Author’s note “The first book from Upright Citizens Brigade comedian Laura Willcox, I AM BRIDE is a hysterical spoof of all the lavish, ridiculous, and stressful things a bride deals with when planning her BIG DAY.” - Publisher’s note Big Takeaways The book is written in the voice of a wedding planner, but Laura explained that it is really her version of the collective voice of the wedding industrial complex. Imagine every over-the-top insane wedding stereotype you might have about florists charging premiums for dirt, planners that laugh maniacally when you share your budget, and a dress boutique saleswoman that suggests you get full body plastic surgery in order to fit into the ‘perfect’ gown...roll all these horrible people up with a dry, smart sense of humor...and you have the narrator of the book. This book is so sharp, y’all. It would make a great gift for your girlfriend that has fallen down the Pinterest rabbit hole. And if you’re a bride, it’s a pretty awesome gifts for your friends and attendants...anyone that will be on this wedding planning journey with you. It’s laugh out loud funny and totally outrageous, but it’s also a good reminder to stay grounded and not to let yourself get completely rolled over by all things wedding as you plan your own big day. Excerpts: The People Who Work for You: “A bachelorette party can have a dramatic effect on the bride-to-be. Expectations are high which often leads to disappointment and tears. But that doesn’t mean that you should hold your bridesmaids to a lower standard, it just means they need to try harder to not disappoint you. Below is a list of what is appropriate to cry about at your bachelorette party, and what isn’t.” “90% of bridesmaids are good friends and 98% of those good friends are sorority sisters and there’s a reason for that. A friendship forged through binge drinking and group sex in fraternity basements means you two have a sisterhood based on blackmail and deep dark secrets. Which makes your sorority sister an ideal bridesmaid.” “A majority of ceremonies are still religious, as they should be. Afterall, why have a ceremony if you don’t believe the wrath of god will punish you if you don’t. Here are a few things to consider if you do opt for a religious ceremony. You’re going to be upstaged by god...so prepare yourself.” “You are a Glam Bride: In your humble opinion, there’s no such thing as too much sparkle, too many feathers, too strong a Long Island accent, or too far a distance people must travel to circumnavigate your gown. You understand that to be a woman is to be flashy. After all, if angels can pull off head-to-toe feathers, why can’t you? When guests walk into your wedding (or your home, for that matter), you want the decor to be so over-the-top that people feel physically assaulted—by beauty! And chandeliers.” Links we referenced Laura’s websites: http://laurawillcox.com/writing/ http://iambridebook.com/ Buy it on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/AM-BRIDE-Wedding-Useful-Advice/dp/1419722204 Quotes “It’s written in the voice of a fictional psychotic wedding planner.” - Laura. How can we not fall in love with her?? “It doesn’t mention the groom AT ALL...that was one of the most shocking things to me- realizing that everything was geared to me and he was supposed to just show up and do what I tell him.” - Laura, pointing out that wedding planning should 50/50! Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

I AM BRIDE: How to Take the WE Out of Wedding (and Other Useful Advice)

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Wedding Insurance is VERY important, but not discussed enough or thought about when planning a wedding. Todd Shasha, a Spokesperson for Travelers Insurance, walks us through the ins and outs of wedding insurance. We talk about what it is, why you need it, how much it costs and some examples highlighting exactly why the investment is worth it. Liability, cancellation, ‘event insurance’...let’s dive in! Big Takeaways Many venues require liability insurance. When you sign the contract and pay the deposit, you are essentially renting the venue for a certain amount of hours and the venue is requiring you to hold additional insurance covering the venue itself. In case one of your guests falls and breaks a leg - the insurance YOU hold will cover the guest, the venue won’t have to deal with it. The venue’s insurance protects them. Your event liability insurance protects YOUR interest, in the event of any lawsuits. Like if your clumsy guest breaks a window at the venue...the venue isn’t going to want to use their own insurance to pay for that damage - they’ll want you, the renter, to deal with it. And your insurance will help you do that. Travelers bundles it’s special event insurance - per customer. You start with their Core Coverage, then you can add liability and liquor liability. Their policies are more comprehensive than simply getting a $150 liability insurance online to satisfy the venue requirement. A Travelers policy would cover property damage for the rentals you use, the linens, etc. The Core package also covers lost deposits. So if you pay a tenting company $5000 for an awesome tent for your reception and they just don’t show...the wedding must go on, and that’s why you want a wedding planner, but the insurance policy will help you recoup the lost deposit...get your money back. Everything is explained on their website and they have agents that will answer questions and walk you through each step. (We are not sponsored by Travelers, btw. They contacted us wanting to talk about their product and why the topic is good for our podcast, and we agreed! If you want to look into event insurance, you can start online, and also contact your own homeowner insurance agent and see what they offer. Compare it all to Travelers and see what policy is best for you! Basically, we are encouraging all our listeners to consider event insurance for their wedding...lots of options, big price range...but we think if you are spending $20k or more on your wedding...you need insurance.) Weather is covered with these policies...if you need to cancel or postpone the wedding because there is a huge storm, the insurance policy will help you recoup the lost deposits and cancellation fees, so that you can plan for another date. ‘Change of Heart’ is not covered under the insurance policies. So weather or an injury may derail your wedding plans and Travelers will help navigate the process of recouping your deposits, but a runaway bride...you’re on your own and out the money. Links we referenced https://www.travelers.com/event-insurance - Travelers main site https://www.protectmywedding.com - Travelers Event Insurance Site for online quotes https://www.zola.com - our fave place to register for wedding gifts and our sponsor! *Quotes * “Do you have any episodes cover the $1M liability insurance that some venues require? My understanding is it might be called "event insurance," but Google has led me astray. I looked up event insurance online and the prices range quite a bit, so I was wondering if there are specific search terms to look into (or, if this is a task for a month-of coordinator)? Surprisingly, ‘purchase wedding insurance’ is missing from The Knot's timeline/checklist (or maybe I missed it)!” - Susan, our dear listener asking about insurance “Even if nothing goes wrong and you don’t end up needing to make claims on your insurance, the couple of weeks of peace of mind that you had right before your wedding, is worth the pitch for my clients.” - Christy “We recommend that you purchase the policy when you start paying your deposits. You want to make sure you have coverage at that point.” - Todd Shasha, insurance agent Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Angry Moms, Possible Scams, Alcoholics At The Reception. We are answering listener questions as well as sharing some stories on this one. Big Takeaways As we often say on the podcast, keep it cool, people! Perspective. Stay grounded. Don’t get crazy. Remember, the wedding is just a party. The marriage is the important part. Sometimes parents are the ones who lose their minds and act irrationally...Christy shares a prime example of mom-crazy on this very episode! When some unexpected things occured, she lost her mind! Don’t be that mom. Listener email #1: I found a helluva deal online for photography and videography services for my wedding. It’s a nationwide company, and the prices are too good to be true! Our response: We don't suggest it. Nationwide companies like this outsource photographers and videographers in each market. In our experience, you just don't know who you are going to get. So even if the business part of the interaction all seems good and above-the-table, the actual 'professional' you get on the wedding day may not do a stellar job. Your photographs are such an important part of your wedding, the only thing you'll have when it's all over and done with...you don't want to trust that job to just anyone. You want a trained, personable, experienced professional. We think you should continue to dig, ask questions, and compare their prices with some other local photographers that own their own wedding photography business. And - remember, it’s very important to have a great personal connection with your photographer! They’re hanging out with you A LOT on your wedding day. You should like them. Listener email #2: My fiance’s family is full of alcoholics! How do we limit consumption at the reception so there isn’t any drama? Our response: Definitely don’t have an open bar! Beer and wine only helps a lot - no shots, no double potent mixed drinks. Or, consider having a bar during cocktail hour, then wine poured during dinner and that’s it! It’s your wedding, you can do what you want! We have lots of great advice on this one - we’ve been there! Marrying someone means that you get the family baggage...we wish you luck! Keeping on open line of communication and remaining diplomatic and calm will serve you well! We talked a lot about a specific escort card display - little scrolls hanging on champagne glasses. It was a really cool element of the wedding, but was logistically a little tough. We suggest using a shallow table to display the champagne flutes, and it works best if you have a small wedding, because you can spread the glasses out for guests to look at and find their name. Pics in the link below! Also in this ep - we read reviews. Our own reviews. Michelle’s favorite thing! Come on, share our joy - create our joy! Leave a review. * Links we referenced Champagne scroll escort cards (https://www.instagram.com/p/BeTz_YEh_dY/?taken-by=christy_matthews_events)! Quotes “I swear to God I started to sweat on my side of the curtain because she was SO awful.” - Christy, recanting a terrible convo! “Here’s the bottom line: A wedding is only as much fun as the couple. It is only as wonderful as the people there. So you can spend all the money in the world, but if you have a bad attitude, that’s going to translate into the wedding.” - Christy “A banquet captain, someone in charge of all the staff and makes sure that all the food gets out on time and that everything runs smoothly...make sure you have some cash for this person. They are AMAZING people.” - Michelle, on our favorite day-of vendor - the banquet captain “You don’t have control over what your guests are going to do. You just don’t.” - Michelle “At least the family’s issue is alcohol and not acceptance!” - Christy and Michelle, looking on the bright side “Wow, we’re really good at giving at advice.” - Christy Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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We’re back in 2018 and so excited about all the awesome topics we’re going to tackle and the phenomenal guests we have on deck! Let’s have a quickie and catch-up! *Big Takeaways * Here’s our news, in a nutshell: Michelle (Allure Consulting) moved to the Bay Area! We got through the holidays with our respective families and all the plans! Both Michelle and Christy are actively taking 2018 wedding inquiries! Happy New Year! Hit up Christy Matthews Events, or Allure Consulting if you need a wedding planner, a wedding consultant to help you tackle your budget or vision board, or any help at all with wedding-related issues. Links below. Historic hotels are beautiful wedding venues. They may also be haunted. Do your research! We reconnect with a listener that asked us about our thoughts on her side gig, a cake decorating business. Initially, we said, Don’t quit your day job! In a supportive way. And now that this listener is officially starting her business - we congratulate her and encourage her to ignore the haters! When you put yourself out there, you may get some reviews that aren’t glowing and that’s ok! Learn and move on. Dwelling on the negative just sucks. Another friendly reminder to hire vendors you really connect with and then TRUST them to execute the vision. If you trust your vendors, you sleep better and you’re not stressed out and obnoxious about wedding planning. Links we referenced Allure Consulting, Michelle’s company: http://www.allureconsulting.com Christy Matthews Events, Christy’s company: http://christymatthewsevents.com Quotes “Well, you know, it’s haunted.” - Christy, on the Adolphus Hotel. It’s haunted. “2018 is the year that Christy matthews brings back the small barrel curling iron. Big news out here in Dallas.” - Christy, you heard it here first folks “Welcome and congratulations! Please binge listen to our podcast library for informative, hilarious and down-to-earth wedding advice!” Christy and Michelle welcome you, new listeners! “I’m loving Month of Planning...that’s my niche.” - Michelle, re Allure’s base “Trust and Let Go. That’s her mantra. And that’s a good one for life.” - Christy and Michelle paraphrasing bride (and former guest) Trisha Dean “PERFECT. There’s no such thing in life or in weddings.” - Michelle Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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We’re picking brains around here and this week, we’re lucky to have taken an hour of Beth Albright’s busy day. She is the Director of Development for a catering company in Dallas, TX - Food Glorious Food. She works directly with couples planning their wedding - both on the catering side, and as a venue contact. Beth might be the person that you meet on your first site visit to a venue - to see the space, and to talk about the venue’s policies. Some venues have on-site catering, some have preferred or required vendors lists for you to choose from, and some venues let you bring in a potluck. Which venue to choose is a very important decision! Beth breaks it down for us and answers lots of questions regarding food, beverage, and rentals while she’s at it. Big Takeaways The more you know, the better! In terms of visiting venues in order to narrow down your options...don’t schedule visits until you are prepared, at least as prepared as you can be. Pick a couple venues to see after you check out their offerings online. And when you go to do a site visit, know your basics: overall budget, approximate guest count, and things you ABSOLUTELY do/don’t want in a venue. With ‘in house’ catering - like at a hotel, the fees are typically all tied into the food and beverage costs. So you may see that the hotel offers a budget ‘Silver’ wedding package and it’s $75/person for your 300 guest wedding. That seems like a lot, but you aren’t paying rental fees for the ballroom, rentals and staffing. A hotel will likely draft a ‘minimum’ for your to meet in your initial proposal...something like $20,000. You are commiting to spending AT LEAST $20,000 at this hotel on your wedding, one way or another. Working with a caterer that has worked at the venue A LOT is always a good bet. Then they know about the physical logistics of loading in for a wedding. And how long it takes, how much staff they need, etc. This is why an in-house caterer, or a single contracted caterer that works at a venue is a good, safe bet. They know what they are doing specifically at that venue. If you have a hearty budget and want things to be easy-peasy, this is a good way to start! Your venue may include a ‘wedding coordinator’ in their rental package. Dig into this a little and ask them exactly what this person will do on the wedding day, and in the weeks leading up to it. We recommend you hire a professional wedding planner...even if only for a ‘Month of’ planning package. It’s worth it. Beth agrees. Ask specifically about the hours included when you are on your site visit for a venue. Does this time frame include set-up and strike? How much does it cost for an additional hour? What about if you go into overtime on the event day? Does the music have to stop at a certain time? A catering company - an off-premise catering company - has more flexibility with the menu options and pricing than a hotel chain will. If more than 50% of your guests are going to drink at your reception, and you have a choice between Open Bar and charging On Consumption - pay for the open bar hours. Odds are, you will get more bang for your buck this way. Lots of specific catering advice is dropped in this episode. We talk about apps, soup, action stations and why everyone loves a late night snack. Take heed if you’re planning your wedding menu! Tipping! No one expects it, everyone appreciates it. Beth tells us how to best tip your catering staff, and what that ‘service charge’ line in your catering proposal really means. (Hint: it’s not a tip for the staff.) Links we referenced Cards Against Humanity and Apples to Apples: ‘wedding version’: http://cadsaboutmatrimony.com Beth Albright, Food Glorious Food: http://www.foodgloriousfood.biz DEC on DRAGON: DEC on dragon Quotes “Start with what is included with the building rental. Tables, chairs, linens, lounge furniture, valet, security, staff...every venue is going to be different when it comes to what’s included.” - Beth “If everyone could hire a wedding planner - a good, trained wedding planner - that would be amazing. You want that one person that is the decision-maker for everything.” - Beth “Certain times of the year, I have more flexibility to adjust my menu prices and my equipment rentals. Off months are July, August, some of September…” - Beth, on the seasonal aspect of weddings in Texas “That’s something to ask: If we are going to pay for 50 bottles and we don’t drink them all, do we get them back at the end of the night?” - Christy, on the details of your bar package. (In Texas, you can’t take those bottles home with you, btw.) “You can carve this meat, this meat, or this meat!” - Christy, on action station options… “People do not turn down pigs-in-a-blanket. People do not turn down stuff wrapped in bacon.” “Anything in bacon!” - Christy and Beth agree on pork products “Be clear on your decisions before you email your vendors to make the change.” - Christy, on good communication skills Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Second time’s a charm! Our dear friend, Trisha Dean, shares her experience as she is in the middle of planning a big wedding. It’s her second big wedding to plan, and Michelle was her wedding planner for the first one! Trisha tells us all about planning a second wedding. It’s a first however for her fiance and it’s a destination wedding to boot! Trisha addresses how she has compromised along the way, how she has thrown out the ‘rules’ and why she is looking forward to her wedding day, especially this second time around. Big Takeaways There were lessons learned the first time around, and one of them was putting importance on how you want your wedding weekend to be - like how you want to experience the city, your wedding day and the day before and after, how you want your guests to feel being a part of everything...this is something that Trisha and Sutton put a lot of weight on. The weekend will be an experience for the guests...their best friends and family members will have a truly memorable weekend. The gown. Can a bride wear white the second time around? Hell yes! Are princess ball gowns pasé if you’re over 30 years old? Hell no! Just because you’ve been a bride before, that doesn’t mean you are any less of a bride now. Trisha tried on A LOT of dresses. She wants to feel and look amazing - of course! Advice: Get a videographer - Trisha is SO glad she splurged on this for her first wedding and the video is one of her very favorite keepsakes (yes, even though the marriage didn’t last forever). She made sure to get one for her second wedding as well. Take your time. Especially if there are kids involved. You’ve already done this once, what’s the rush this time? If you feel like you are rushing, ask yourself why. Introspection is key here - don’t do anything unless you can do it with confidence, together. Trisha thinks you need a year to plan a wedding if you are going to be picky about wedding details and elements. Budgeting is all about compromise. Trisha initially wanted a smaller, simple wedding, largely in part to her knowledge of how much this all costs. But when Sutton wanted to have a big wedding and invite many of his friends, Trisha didn’t question him. She knew how important it was to him, so blowing the budget up was a no-brainer. No Regrets! Including the kids: As far as Trisha is concerned, this wedding belongs to her daughter just as much as it’s hers. Do whatever makes you happy! Trisha and Sutton scrapped all the pre-wedding stuff and instead are having a three day long weekend for their destination wedding. And instead of having designated bridesmaids and groomsmen, they are asking specific people to stay in the venue with them to party all weekend as VIPs. No matching bridesmaid’s dresses for this wedding! Links we referenced Wedding Website Trisha loves: Bliss and Bone - https://blissandbone.com Quotes “After your divorce, did you feel like you would get married again?” - Michelle, to Trisha “I think divorce is a horrible, hard thing. But I came out on the other side and I was just very, very content.” - Trisha, bottom line “I was like give me the stats: What does he look like? How old is he? Does he have a job? Does he live with his mom? Has he ever been in jail? All the usual questions any normal girlfriend would ask.” - Christy, on Trisha’s unicorn fiance “We freaking adore each other. We know we want to be together. But there was no need to rush into anything.” - Trisha, on taking her time “When you’re older, you don’t hesitate to say NO to what you don’t want.” - Trisha “One of my girlfriends came up to me and said, you cannot get a poofy dress. And I was like, bitch, I can get whatever I want!” - Trisha, on wedding dress shopping “You can write your own rulebooks...and that’s what really defines you as a couple.” - Trisha, with advice for other second-time-brides “Trust and let go.” - Trisha, on working with her vendors Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Ooh Lala...We are heading into uncharted wedding podcast territory with this one and we are SO EXCITED! In this episode, we talk about sex, baby! A healthy sex life is very important to a healthy relationship. Dr. Magdalena Fosse helps us define ‘healthy’, plus, she talks a lot about pleasure. This is part 2 of 2 with Dr. Magdalena Fosse. In Part 1 (Ep #65), we discussed relationships, communication, and perspective. So, let’s do this! Big Takeaways Shift your expectations for a more satisfying Sex Life. This starts with education! Learn about your own body, find out what feels good, talk about what you like and what intrigues you! Also, remember that our bodies change as we age. Our expectations should evolve too. If you are a woman (we think most of our listeners are) and you have thought to yourself, “Wow, I can’t seem to have an orgasm when we have regular old P-in-th-V sex! Something must be wrong with me.” - Magdalena talks about that old Freudian legacy - it’s a myth! Most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, and that’s just a fact. See? The more you know, the more accurate your expectations, and the more satisfying your sex life. Boom. In America, there is a stigma of shame around talking about sex. People talk about sex all the time, but it’s either in a joking way, or a whispered way. Magdalena encourages us to ignore that stupid stigma! Shame is when we feel like something is wrong with us, at our core. And there isn’t anything wrong with sex, if you aren’t hurting anyone. With a sexual partner that you want to have a long and fruitful sex life with, positive feedback is essential. Tell them what to do, rather than what not to do. Delivery matters! You can be encouraging and specific, and you can motivate your partner to keep doing what feels great. Your brain is your biggest sexual organ. Anticipation is sexy! Looking forward to something is part of the fun! There is a direct line between desire and arousal. A man tends to feel desirable when he is physically, noticeably aroused. But seeing an aroused man doesn’t just automatically turn most women on. What does turn most women on - what arouses most women - is the feeling of being desired. Feel desirable, get aroused. Part of the foreplay is mental! Break out of the routine with your partner - boring efficiency is a killer of sex lives. You have to put effort into your sex like - it shouldn't feel obligatory, it should feel exciting. It won’t always feel exciting, but if you take more initiative and plant seeds of anticipation with your partner, your sex life will be more exciting, more often. Links we referenced Dr. Magdalena Fosse: Clinical Psychologist, Certified Sex Therapist and Couple’s Counselor: www.drfosse.com PCFINE, Psychodynamic Couple and Family Institute of New England: https://www.pcfine.org SSTAR to find a qualified Sex Therapist: http://www.sstar.org Quotes “Have you talked to your partner about sex? Because you should.” - Michelle “A clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the penis does. Just think about that. Twice as many.” - Magdalena “No guy would expect to have a fabulous orgasm by having his balls stimulated. He’d be like, that’s great, but move on!” - Magdalena “I’m a huge proponent of masturbation.” - Magdalena “Being an object of desire is a turn on in itself.” - Magdalena, talking specifically about women “Do handjobs count? Cause some days, that’s all I have in me.” - Christy “Fantasies are really important. It’s a choice whether you share them or not. It can be enriching, but it can also diminish the power of them.” - Magdalena on the power of fantasies Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Learn how you and your partner can set the groundwork for a healthy, happy marriage while you are planning your wedding! As wedding planners, we delve into the logistics of wedding planning. Obviously. We work with people in the middle of a stressful, exciting time of their lives. A wedding is a big deal! We believe that the event of a wedding should be an elevated moment in your life. We also have been around a while, and as married people ourselves, we know that the real work is in the marriage, not the wedding planning. In this episode, we are NOT the experts! We are learning right along with you, dear listeners. Dr. Magdalena Fosse (all information in the links below) is a sex and relationship therapist based in Cambridge, MA, and in this episode, she schools us. Cliff Notes: IT’S ALL ABOUT COMMUNICATION. Big Takeaways Communication is key, absolutely. There are many ways to use our words – some more successful than others. But equally if not more important – the non-verbal communication. Magdalena observes how couples communicate in her office and she can see pretty quickly how non-verbal cues and triggers affect each partner. Sometimes the conversation is over before it starts just because of the way someone is sitting, or where their eyes fall. More couples seek therapy in crisis, rather than as a proactive way to get on the same page, or develop healthy tools. So when crisis does strike, and it will, the partners don’t even know where to begin unraveling the mess and coming to terms about how to move forward. A marital crisis is always just the tip of the iceberg, there’s always a build up underneath. One key to success lies in gratitude, and perspective. John Gottman’s theory is the ratio of negative to positive should be 1 to 5. The small, positive interactions with your partner, in your life together, should outweigh the negative ones by 5. This is a ‘magic’ ratio. It’s in our nature to focus more on the bad than the good, and with your life partner, you need to make a concerted effort to focus on the positive. 4 signs that your relationship may be in big trouble: Contempt, Defensiveness, Criticism, Stone-Walling. Make sure you are affirming your partner. And if you feel like your partner isn’t noticing or affirming your efforts, don’t give up! Disappointment leads to disillusionment. Disillusionment leads to distance. Distance can feel impossible to come back from. This distance can be avoided if the original disappointment is addressed quickly, rather than swept under the rug. Talking about things as they come is VERY important. (Which is why stone-walling is a bad thing in a relationship.) Two topics Magdalena thinks every couple should openly address: Pleasure and Expectations about sex. This is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with! You gotta be open and honest about this stuff! The presence of conflict is not the problem in a relationship. It’s normal, natural and present. The absence of repair is the problem. Slow down! Learn how to prevent a big escalation together. Practice makes perfect. Get better, as a couple, after each argument or tough discussion. And remember – if things between you two are ‘good’ 70-80% of the time, you’re doing great! Consistency is key. Links we referenced Dr. Magdalena Fosse: Clinical Psychologist, Certified Sex Therapist and Couple’s Counselor: www.drfosse.com PCFINE, Psychodynamic Couple and Family Institute of New England: https://www.pcfine.org John Gottman books about relationships: www.gottman.com Quotes “The wedding is just a party. It’s an awesome party, but it is not nearly as hard as being married, or as important.” – Christy “All long term couples need to learn how to talk about difficult things. Because that’s life. Being able to communicate constructively is essential.” – Magdalena, practice is perfect “It’s work. Relationships require investment.” – Magdalena “Sex is everywhere and it seems so easy.” – Magdalena “For a relationship to feel rewarding, it requires effort. It requires energy from both partners to be willing to DO something, not just go with what feels easiest.” - Magdalena, on why Netfix&Chill can be a relationship killer “Betrayal comes in many different forms.” – Magdalena “The problem is not the presence of conflict. It’s the absence of repair. The concept of repair is crucial.” – Magdalena “You just kinda blew my mind a little bit. I was thinking prevent-prevent-prevent…and it’s not about that.” – Michelle “Being in love is easy in so many ways…but being in life means you have to encounter all these issues.” - Magdalena Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Trish Dove, owner of Beatbox Studios in DFW, is a wedding photographer. She is full of tips and tricks for awesome photo sessions, and she’s sharing them on the podcast! Also, the very best thing about Trish is how she immediately connects with couples, and how she fosters that connection throughout the planning process for an end result of relaxed, happy, confident lovebugs enjoying the hell out of their wedding day. And the photos...tdf. Big Takeaways Personality matters! There are many photographers to choose from. If you hire someone with lots of experience, a great portfolio and nice equipment...you’re going to get good photos. But hiring someone that you LOVE, that you click with, that you feel a great vibe with...that is going to make the experience of your wedding day, and your wedding planning, SO much more enjoyable. Trish is a photographer that seals the deal with clients after a face-to-face meeting. Her personality and energy is what sets her apart. Getting to pick her brain about this whole process is fascinating! Trish’s Routine for Kick Ass Pre-Ceremony photo sessions: Set the scene. Favorite music and a little booze helps! Natural, candid photos take a little choreography...Trish is great at this because she does it in a sneaky way. Instead of explicitly telling a couple what to do with their bodies and how to look at each other, Trish will set some other kind of action in motion, knowing that the end result will be the adorable kiss that they want Pick a place that means something to you, if possible. If you hire an awesome photographer, they may go out to the location and scout around for ideas. Trish did that once and discovered a mini donkey named White Boy. He made the final cut and the photos are adorable. Professional hair and makeup - well worth it if you can swing it. Trish calls it ‘photo insurance’. (If you can only afford one, Trish recommends makeup- LASHES.) This element helps make you look and feel your best on the shoot day, but also can mean that the turn-around time to get your photos back is cut in half because the editing is so minimal. For ladies, Trish recommends hair down or half down...once it’s up, it pretty much needs to stay up, so starting with it down and then putting it up halfway through the session is a great idea. Bring a couple outfits! Text your photographer your outfit options ahead of time. You’ll get the wheels turning before you even show up. The day before and the morning of your photo session - drink a lot of water! It helps make your skin and eyes look great. First Look: We’re going to do a dedicated Quick Focus episode about this specifically, with Trish’s input. Basically, photographers love them. Planners love them. And as a couple, you will get MANY more photos of the two of you, if you do a First Look before the ceremony starts. Bonus: you get to join your cocktail hour, instead of missing the whole thing while you frantically try to get a million photos together before dinner starts. Details: If you look at a real wedding gallery on any blog right now, you’ll see photos of the invitations, paper goods, rings, and tangible items that you might be bringing to your wedding day...make sure your photographer knows where these special items are so that she gets photos! Trish recommends having a really nice, special invitation suite made up for photos - even if you opted for digital invitations. Big Farewell! If you are planning on doing a sparkler exit (or a confetti, streamer, rice, bubble exit…), try to assign someone to organize it! This could be your wedding planner. A lot of times, it’s your photographer. You need to designate a lane, and guests are on each side. As the bride and groom, plan on going down the ‘aisle’ twice. Take your time! Smile. Kiss. Wave. High five. If you have more than 150 guests, or multiple locations on the wedding day, you need a second shooter with your main photographer. And you need your photographer for a minimum of 6 hours on your wedding day. 8 hour is ideal. Links we referenced Where to find Trish online Website (https://www.beatboxportraits.com) Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/beatboxportraits/) Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/BeatBoxPortraits/) Quotes “There’s always one in the couple that loves pictures and one that’s not a big fan...that is across the board. As long as I have a couple tricks in my pocket to warm them up before I even start shooting...they’re my best friend.” - Trish on engagement sessions “Professional Hair and Makeup is photography insurance. Pro Tip.” - Trish “Lighting is the number one thing that drives good photos.” - Trish “Your wedding planner and your photographer...you need to LIKE them. You need to want to have drinks with them.” - Christy “We give our stamp of approval, from planner and photographer, for the First Look.” - Christy “The photos suffer and the day is more stressful when you don’t have a planner.” Christy and Trish said this in tandem! Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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This is an educational episode! We are zooming in on two specifics parts of the wedding day timeline - the set-up and the breakdown. How much time do you need to allocate for these parts of the day? What exactly happens during set-up anyway? Can’t we ‘breakdown’ in 10 minutes if we get all of our friends to help at midnight? (NO.) We answer these and many more questions as we address two important parts of your wedding day. Don’t forget about these details...they start to add up and being organized as you go will help relieve some wedding planning stress! Big Takeaways First, we had a listener leave an awesome iTunes review! Michelle and Christy LOVE these reviews - thank you! The more you rate and review, the more visible we are to people searching for a new podcast to listen to. We invite you all to send us your questions - thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com. The more specific, the better! Can we talk about how awesome ugly UGGs are? So comfy. So warm. Ok - that’s all we have to say about that. In the most basic terms: you need at least 2 hours for set-up and 1 hour for breakdown is pretty standard. Some venues will give you a 12 hour block, some venues will make their clients cram everything into a 5 hour window - hard stop. Make sure you carefully read this part of the venue rental contract, or the venue package contract. Some venues let couples add (pay for) extra hours. This may even be a negotiable term. A tiny set-up window can cost you extra money because vendors may raise prices in order to load in during that small, specific window. Staffing, trucks, parking, traffic...vendors have to consider a lot of factors when they book an event with a ‘tricky’ set-up policy. ‘Getting Ready’ is a big part of the wedding day timeline. Hair, Makeup, First Look, Family Portraits...lots goes on in the couple of hours before your ceremony begins. And none of this fun stuff counts as ‘set-up’! If your venue lets you get ready there, you will be getting ready while vendors are taking care of the set-up of the venue. If you don’t have a planner, you will need someone to lead the charge. If you are getting your makeup done in the dressing room while the DJ is setting up the ceremony speakers, you don’t want to be the one answering the DJ’s questions! Tables have to be set on the floor before the linens can be set up. Linens have to be on the tables before the florist can set up. The cake baker needs her cake table in place, dressed and needs the flowers from the florist ready to go when the she arrives with the cake. Lots of moving parts, y’all! This is a strategically timed event. Hiring a wedding planner will make scheduling all of this infinitely easier. You are going to have many tangible items that you want set up at your wedding ceremony or reception. Start a list! For example: escort cards, table numbers, chuppah, toasting flutes, pictures, cake knife and server, flowers, decorations, linens, favors, programs, signage, lawn games… Consider how long it will take to set these up. Make sure every item has a plan - who, where, when. And make sure you designate which items you want back at the end of the night. If your DJ or musicians or AV company recommend you book a dedicated sound technician for a couple hours, do it. Consider it insurance. Links we referenced Our Podcast, Eps 17, 18, 20 - the 3-part Timeline Series (http://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/the-wedding-day-timeline-part-1-of-3) - listen to this for a greater scope of how to create your wedding day timeline Quotes “We’re just happy that we are helping people here! And that people are listening.” - Michelle, giddy from another iTunes review! “There was no rush and no stress for these two brides, because we just had so much time.” - Christy “What time does everything have to be out at the end of the night? You need to know that before you get all these grand ideas about what visuals you want happening at the wedding.” - Michelle “You can do it in 2 hours. But it’s a lot easier to do it in 5 or 6 hours!” - Christy “I’m doing a lot of lawn games for cocktail hours. And those are a bitch to set up and they can’t just be thrown out ready to play.” - Christy “Put on your Type-A hat and just solve the problems.” - Christy “You’re going to have multiple timelines that layer over each other.” - Christy Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com FACEBOOK:@TBWPpodcast (https://www.facebook.com/TBWPpodcast/?view_public_for=1020006734764802)

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One of our most popular episodes! We are busy wedding planners preparing for some awesome future shows. In the meantime...You're going to LOVE this one! You are going to LOVE cake celebrity Lauren Kitchens! If you heard our Pilot episode and the mention of "fake" wedding cakes, you're going to want to listen to this one. Lauren is the owner of Fancy Cakes by Lauren, in Dallas Texas. Lauren has been featured on the Food Network several times and happens to be a dear friend of Christy's. In this episode, Lauren and Christy talk about the ins and outs of wedding cakes, how to find the baker you want to work with, how much you can expect to spend, logistics of cutting the cake and why cakes remain an important part of the wedding day. Big Takeaways Listen in as Christy & Lauren sit down in the 'recording studio' (aka Christy's Master Bedroom closet) and talk about the world of wedding cakes. Lauren has been baking cakes professionally for over 10 years. Being on TV isn’t necessarily the height of your career. Building a business that prioritizes the client experience and values quality over quantity is far more successful in the long run. Lauren Kitchens proves that every day with Fancy Cakes. Grooms Cakes! Dude, where’s my cake? Grooms Cakes in the South -- a tradition that is not going anywhere. From simple chocolate cakes with chocolate covered strawberries (how retro!) to cake sculptures of bass fish and college football stadiums...the Grooms Cakes are here to stay and in Lauren’s world, they are getting more and more over the top - even costing more than the extravagant wedding cake in many instances. Check out her Instagram page to see these works of art! Fake Cakes. Or fake tiers. It’s a thing, deal with it. Sometimes a fake cake is necessary when the design of the cake can’t be supported by good old fashioned flour and water. Sometimes a fake tier is necessary to support the weight of 200 orchids stabbed into it by a florist. Sometimes Lauren makes wedding cakes that are 6’ tall and all fake. She’s an artist, I tell you! An artist! Links we referenced - Fancy Cakes Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fancycakesbylauren/ - Lauren’s website http://fancycakesbylauren.com - Lauren’s TV appearance (muppet) http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/FoodNetworkChallenge Quotes - "You're going to spend (thousands of dollars) on a cake! Put a pin-spot on it. Otherwise the cake is in the corner on time-out...like it's being punished and no one's ever gonna' see it" - Lauren Kitchens - “I ended up doing great work. It was huge...I was able to build up a name and it helped with building my craft. The shows like Food Network Challenge, it created a demand with the client to want sculpted cakes. I’m like, I can do it!” - Lauren Kitchens, on her career, between TV competitions and her work - “What’s important to me is human connection and that is what is important to the brides because this is a very emotional buy for them! They’re buying their wedding cake!” - Lauren - “Average wedding, 175-200 guests, Texas average, y’all…average cake price is about $1200 dollars, and that would include a modest Grooms Cake. If it’s a sculpted grooms cake, you’ll spend double or triple the wedding cake.” - Lauren - “Narrow it down to two or three bakeries, don’t go to more than that (cause you’ll forget), go in and get a general idea of pricing. They really need to ask you, does this fit into your budget? And tell them! Don’t just scratch it. This could be the right cake for you and they might be able to make it work.” - Lauren, on how you can find the right cake and the right baker Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Michelle welcomes her dear friend and yoga teacher to the podcast today - don’t call her a guru! Lauren Star practices meditation, mindfulness and yoga - and she thought that wedding planning was going to be a breezy dream. Well, it wasn’t! What?? It was overwhelming and Lauren and her partner didn’t know what they were getting into. Like we always say, You don’t know what you don’t know! So, we talk to Lauren about her experiences wedding planning. And a lot about why she is so happy that Michelle was her planner, and how important having a planner actually turned out to be. Michelle fawns over Lauren a bit too, because this lovey-dovey feeling is mutual! The best kind. Big Takeaways First, we had a listener question to answer regarding potted plants, greenery for wedding decor. We think that the pot is very important in this case - is a terracotta pot from Home Depot something that fits in with the ceremony decor, particularly if it’s an indoor venue? Think about that. Also, remember that a beautiful potted plant might cost just as much or more than a centerpiece or altar piece from a florist. We think greenery can look cool and pretty and photogenic, but err on the side of more, rather than less. Make sure the overall look is lush and has lots of height and type variation. Good luck! Succulents: they aren’t just trendy! They’re also sturdy and can be colorful. They transport easily and are easy DIY projects. They aren’t too expensive and you can take them home with you after the wedding. Even the most easy-going couple needs to actually plan a little. Ok, a lot, to be honest. You can have a laid-back potluck wedding in your backyard, your friends can bring flowers and cake, and you can ad lib your vows if you want...but weddings still cost money. They take planning. You need to talk to your partner - even if it’s overwhelming and you don’t know where the heck to start - you need to talk about the budget and the guestlist when you begin. Minimum! Money talk can stress people out, for sure. As Lauren watched her budget inflate, she turned to her yoga practice to deal with the stress. Also, she recognized that they needed HELP. In the form of a wedding planner. Lauren looked at weight loss and getting in shape while wedding planning, for the first time in her life. And instead of obsessing over it in an unhealthy way, she learned lots of great information and felt that the whole experience was really educational and empowering. Which is awesome! Family. Lauren and her fiance were blown away by how much their family wanted to be a part of their wedding. They were surprised by how much people wanted to participate and how much people CARED. In the end, everyone got to pitch in and the whole thing was a group effort. Lauren felt closer to her family after the wedding, and felt so so grateful. People want to help, we encourage you to say YES! What’s an easy way to calm down and focus? Lauren tells us how to simply set your cell phone timer and sit down. Be quiet. Breathe. 2 minutes, y’all! It goes a long way! Links we referenced Great Decor/Craft store (http://www.save-on-crafts.com) (bud vases we mentioned) Lauren Star's Website (http://www.rootsyoga.com) Lauren on Youtube (https://www.youtube.com/user/LaurenStarification) Quotes “Sometimes we forget that there are real people listening with real stories and real questions and real experiences, and we love to be reminded of that. It’s why we do it!” - Christy, on the reason for the season “It’s weird that you are sitting on Lauren’s lap while you are interviewing her.” - Christy, to Michelle “Are you considered a ‘guru’?” “You are to me!” - Michelle. We get gurus as guests, y’all. Personal gurus. “We’re thinking maybe you deal with stress a little differently than our ‘typical’ brides…or me. I mostly just eat frozen pizza on the floor and cry a lot.” - Christy, digging deep “The most important thing is that we feel good on the day, that we feel in love and we get to connect with the people that are there to support us. And that hopefully, that vibe rubs off on everyone that is there.” Lauren, on priorities “We really needed someone to plan this wedding. We were in over our heads.” - Lauren, on why she hired Michelle “I have meat, I have coffee. I’m not a saint by any means.” - Lauren, describing how overall health is important, especially when wedding planning “Any time we would notice ourselves getting obsessed about something, we would be like, no, this is not the right direction.” - Lauren, not sweating the small stuff “Ok! That was great. I feel very calm. I feel gratitude.” - Michelle, wrapping it up! Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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It’s our anniversary! We are SO STOKED to celebrate this one year mark with you, our dear listeners. We’ve had such a great time doing this podcast and we’re so f*%king proud of our first year. Can we just pat ourselves on the back a little? Sure, we can! Here’s a whole episode devoted to us, our guests, our love for each other, and it serves as a testament to our labor of love: The Big Wedding Planning Podcast. Take a walk with us down memory lane as we recall our favorite moments, pull some of our favorite quotes (montage!) and just love on one another...Including a toast! Get in touch with us! Tell us what you want to hear on the podcast. Also, share your stories and ideas with us. We are so open to chatting with our listeners...if you have a crazy story or random wedding question, hit us up! We want to take on a social media guru - non-paid, obviously. Well, you’ll get to be on the show, you’ll get to be a part of the show and we’ll serve as mentors! If you have the skills and want to be a part of the team, please email us thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com, subject: ‘social media help’. Links we referenced Just our own show! Quotes “Never fear, dear listeners. We already have a list for our second year and it’s always being added to: guests we want to have on, topics we want to tackle, and things we want to revisit.” - Christy, on the next chapter “This was something that caused me an intense amount of anxiety and grief and it made me angry.” - Christy, on one episode that lead to so much more “I want to thank my hot man, my husband, Jose Luis Martinez who does all things visual for us...he spends a lot of time and I’m a real pain in the ass.” - Michelle, to her husband “To Michelle, a tribute: In the words of the Golden Girls theme song: You are a friend and a confidant that I am so happy to be on this journey with.” - Christy, to Michelle “You’re making me feel like when a couple each writes their vows and one of them is way better than the other and the other is like, oh shit.” - Michelle, to Christy “Here we are ten years later...and in those ten years, we’ve worked together, you were in my house with me, we at Chipotle, we planned tons of weddings, we bore children...and here we are professing our love for one another on this podcast that we created together!” - Michelle, to Christy “I am toasting to commitment, women empowering women, and to staying cool as we get old.” - Michelle, wrapping it up! “From now on, all the rest of the podcasts I do, I’ll say it was a sex injury.” - Christy “Wedding Planning: It’s a real doozy.” - Amanda, our guest Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Big Takeaways We’ve received a lot of feedback and questions from our dear listeners lately, and we want to address everything! This episode covers a recap from our emotional episode with Lauren (The Happiest Sad Day, link below) and Michelle and Christy answer questions from YOU about disappointing bridesmaids, planning a wedding with a deployed partner, addressing appropriate church ceremony attire, and plenty of questions about going from a bride to a wedding industry professional. Let’s go! Thank you! We love you! And we LOVE that you are writing in and telling us what you think of our episodes, and how they impacted you. We are listening! We want to give you what you want. So, keep ‘em coming and we’ll keep doing our very best to provide the content and info you desire! Re Disappointing Bridesmaids: Don’t manage your ‘maids. Adjust your expectations into the realm of reality. Appreciate them for who they are and how they want to be involved with your wedding right now. Embrace the friends in your life that are stepping up and invite them to be a part of your wedding day in an important way. Think outside the box! If your end goal is to be friends with everyone after your wedding, you have to keep things positive and just do you. You can’t worry about them. Re ‘Firing’ Vendors and the Frustrating Nature of the Wedding Industry: We hear you! A three line email is all you need to tell a vendor that you aren’t going to hire them afterall. It’s a nice thing, to tell someone that they are ‘off the hook’. If you have already hired a vendor and you want to part ways, that’s a different story and you may lose your deposit - re-read your contract. As far as the frustrations that couples face when trying to price out and hire your wedding vendor team - the best advice we have is to be as upfront as possible when contacting vendors. Tell them what you want to spend and ask them if it’s possible for them to work within that budget. If they say it is, then you can work out a proposal or bid with them and see what they can offer. Good luck! (Michelle and Christy both post their starting price point on their websites, by the way.) Re Military Fiance’s Deployment: You are not the first bride to deal with this, but we are sorry you have to! How stressful! Get creative and be flexible. Tap into friends that can help (friendors), and start some fun DIY projects early to keep moving in the planning process, even if you don’t have a wedding date yet. Make sure you look into the marriage license rules in your state - that is the most important component so that you are legally married when you more to Europe! We love the idea of having a ceremony first, something you can plan on short notice, and then having a big party/reception a couple days later. Re Breaking into the Wedding Industry: Our number 1 piece of advice...Don’t quit your day job. This industry is tough and unregulated and FULL of people, some of whom aren’t exactly professionals. If you are going to really do this...go slow and be smart. Say ‘YES!’ to every opportunity to help on-site on a wedding day, or behind the scenes for established professionals. This could be for free. (It likely will be for free, or very little.) Get all your ducks in a row - portfolio, social media, networking, certifications, insurance, establishing a sole proprietorship business in your state...these are things that you need to at the very least look into at the beginning of this journey. Start working and price yourself appropriately. When you are new to the business, you have to charge less than others. And when you do line up a few events...give them everything you have! Work like you are being paid the big bucks! Links we referenced The Happiest Sad Day (http://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/the-happiest-sad-day) Quotes Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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For some people, wedding planning happens to coincide with a devastating life crisis. We listen to a bride tell her story of the loss of her mother and grief during her wedding planning. Wedding planning can be stressful. We talk about that all the time on this podcast. And as a bride or groom, you deal with the stress the best you can - we talk about how to minimize stress, stay organized and grounded, and about keeping things in perspective as you go on the wedding planning journey. The goal is to have a wonderful wedding day, and to be able to enjoy every moment of it. But what happens when things don’t go according to plan? Life can throw a lot at you at once. Big Takeaways Trigger warning: This episode of The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is about terminal cancer. Lauren lost her mom to cancer after an 18 month struggle, and that time period was also when Lauren and her partner Blake were planning their wedding. It was the happiest saddest day, ultimately, and we are honored that Lauren told her story for us. When wedding planning starts to feel all-encompassing, take a step back. Really evaluate where you are in life, what you have to be grateful for, and why you want to marry your partner! Focus on the love. Hug your parents. Say thank you. Call the people in your life that you love, and that love you and tell them you love them! Things got VERY tough for Lauren. The news seemed to be bad every time she talked to her mom, and her mom was insisting that she keep her wedding plans in place - it was all she had to look forward to. The pressure was intense, and the sadness and helplessness were present every day. These feelings and this reality followed Lauren to dress fittings and cake tastings, and home at the end of the day for her to unpack with her partner Blake. At times, the ONLY thing Lauren was sure about was that she was marrying the right guy, and that she was so happy to be doing so. Her actual current relationship with Blake was what kept her going, and gave her some peace, some strength and the energy to keep moving forward, under impossible circumstances. That is a true testament to love, and to the whole point of marriage itself. On the day of the rehearsal, Lauren visited her mom at the hospice facility. Then she drove straight to her wedding rehearsal and endured the whole thing in a shell-shocked state, beaten down by the saddest circumstances, missing her mom, questioning her choices, and feeling extremely annoyed with her husband-to-be. On the wedding day - Lauren felt like everyone was looking at her with sympathy about her mom. Her mom was in hospice less than 5 miles away, and her presence was felt at the wedding...mainly through the friends of her mom, who Lauren considered surrogates. Ultimately, Lauren was able to be fully present in her wedding day - as it was, not as she wished it had been. Lauren’s advice, for anyone going through this or something similar: find a way to honor your person on the wedding day, in private or public. And if possible - err on the side of visiting your loved one too many times. Links We Referenced none Quotes “I didn’t think there was another bomb to be dropped. And there was.” Lauren, after her mom couldn’t attend the bridal shower “She sounded at peace with it in some way...because the pain was so great. There was some relief in saying we’re going to do hospice and I’m going to just be comfortable.” - Lauren “The one question we asked is: Can we make it to the wedding?” - The question Lauren’s mom asked the doctor, upon hearing the cancer had spread “It’s not about how we need this to be the perfect day. When times are tough, we want to think about the things we said to each other on that day.” - Lauren, on picking the words for the ceremony “I honestly think that was the worst day of my life.” - Lauren, on the rehearsal day “Of course, in my mind, I had all the fantasies of my moments with her...of seeing her on the dancefloor, thinking this is the last time I’m going to see her dance.” - Lauren “She was there. It just wasn’t in the way that I thought it was going to be.” -Lauren “These two giant moments in your life smashed into each other in a way that felt really unfair.” Christy, to Lauren “I look at my husband and I think, wow, that was the eye of the storm...if that’s the eye of the storm of life, then, we can do it. We can do it.” - Lauren, on her husband Blake “Go hug your mom...whoever you are in the world, hug your mom. Hug your dad. Hug all the people that are still here.” - Christy, emotional mess “We had this amazing day surrounded by really really tough days. And we had no idea how many tough days were to come.” - Lauren Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Michelle manages the impossible on this one when she takes her microphone along on a wedding day. Listen in as Michelle, Stephanie & Ryan tell the story of the wedding on the ACTUAL wedding day. Hearing the perspectives not only of the Bride and Groom, but also of their Planner. Congratulations Stephanie & Ryan! Big Takeaways Every couple has a story - how they met, why they fell in love, and what dreams they have for their life together. Listening to Stephanie and Ryan talk about their wedding - on their wedding day - allows us insight into their story. How cool! Big thank you to the lovely couple for letting TBWPP document their big day in such a cool way. Stephanie’s grandmother gives her a lace handkerchief to carry on her wedding day - it was a gift handed down to the matriarchs in her family for decades, passed from moms to daughters and aunts and sisters...everyone that has carried the handkerchief is still married! Gifts like these, with history, and passed down with love, make for memorable, emotional moments on the wedding day. We LOVE moments like these. Michelle ended up tying the handkerchief and a necklace to the bridal bouquet - so sweet and meaningful. Michelle talks to Stephanie literally minutes before she walks down the aisle. Hearing a bride put into words how she feels in that moment is pretty amazing. Stephanie inadvertently drops some very good wedding day advice - stay in the moment. Remember to enjoy the wedding day...and the best way to do this is to just settle into gratitude. Confetti - it may be messy to clean up, but take it from us: Guests love it. And the photos are so cool. If you hire a wedding photographer and a videographer, be prepared for some level of distraction. Both visually and audibly...the moving around and the clicking and the flashing...it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. You will notice it. It’s a small sacrifice because you will have such an amazing document of your wedding day, but you may be distracted, or even a little thrown off, by it on the wedding day. Unless you’re used to being followed around by the paparazzi. Links we referenced How I Built This (http://www.npr.org/podcasts/510313/how-i-built-this) One of Michelle's favorite podcasts to listen to Stephanie’s Website (http://www.stephanielam.com) Michelle’s Business (http://www.allureconsulting.com) Quotes “Life isn’t perfect. It’s full of imperfections and unanswered questions. And we’re still searching for meaning.” - Ryan, reflecting on their ‘Alice in Wonderland’ wedding theme “So during the planning process, you’ve moved twice, you’ve changed jobs twice...are you going to be happy when the wedding’s over?” - Michelle, asking Ryan if he’s in the know for all the wedding day details “All the people that have shown up to with celebrate us, and have wished us well and been so generous and so thoughtful...it’s so overwhelming.” - Stephanie, on the unexpected love felt on her wedding day “I’m having to really focus on gratitude and stop being such an OCD stage-mom!” - Stephanie, on how being so hands-on for her wedding day has gotten in the way a little bit! “For me, on a wedding day, there’s a lot of preparation. I’m behind the scenes...I focus on it ALL. I arrive, almost always before any vendor, I walk the space, I take some time, I have some silence. What I loved is, that I saw the work that Stephanie had put into this wedding almost immediately.” - Michelle, on her planner routine “I want to keep grasping it and savoring it and it just keeps running through my hands and I can’t dwell too long on one thing because the next thing is coming. It’s a lot of practicing being in the moment.” - Stephanie, on experiencing the wedding day, one moment at a time Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Michelle deals with a ‘first’ in her illustrious wedding planning career, and we round it out with some great, applicable advice about what to do if your wedding is affected by crazy weather and potentially dangerous conditions. A skateboarding accident isn’t a natural disaster, but we’re still gonna talk about it! Christy and Michelle catch up in the midst of a very busy wedding season. Big Takeaways We’re multitasking mamas. We dish out some parenting advice in this one - basically, put wrist and knee pads on your skateboarding kids, and lead by example! Wedding Crashers is a funny movie, but it’s not cool in real life! Michelle relied on the awesome hotel event staff at her wedding and they dealt with a belligerent wedding crasher together. This is most likely to happen when the wedding takes place at a big hotel, especially a hotel with more than one wedding on property at a time. One of the pros of having a wedding planner is that issues like this get dealt with behind the scenes, and you (as the couple) don’t even know about it until afterwards! Ideally… A Natural disaster can add a huge amount of stress to an already stressful wedding planning process, that’s for sure. Decisions have to be made late in the game, and they’re not decisions anyone wants to have to make. Remember, if you are dealing with something like this - safety first. If a cancellation call has to be made, make it. It sucks, but your guests will celebrate with you upon rescheduling. It’s rare that extreme weather or ‘Acts of God’ actually affect wedding planning, but if they do, you’ll be happy you listened to this podcast so you know what to do first, second and third! In short, if you hired a wedding planner, you’ll call her first - she should help if she’s able, and communicate with vendors on your behalf. (And you’ll be happy you hired a wedding planner when you started the process! Good for you!) Wedding Insurance. We don’t talk about this a lot on the podcast, but we’re going to from now on, cause shit’s just getting crazy out there! Basically, you need it. There are two types: LIABILITY and CANCELLATION - a lot of venues require you to have liability insurance, it costs about $150 and covers you for up to a million in damages or accidents. You get it for one day, and you can ask your insurance agent about adding it to your homeowners policy if you have one. Or, check out the two websites we listed! Cancellation insurance is supplemental to liability, so you’d be paying separately for it. It protects you in the event that you cancel or reschedule your wedding...it protects you financially and reimburses your deposits and retainers if your vendors won’t. We suggest both. Links we referenced Instagram baker we think is awesome: https://www.instagram.com/paperheartpatisserie/ (https://www.instagram.com/paperheartpatisserie/) Wedding Insurance: http://www.wedsure.com (http://www.wedsure.com) https://www.wedsafe.com (https://www.wedsafe.com) Christy’s article in Love Wins Texas: https://www.lovewinstexas.com/2017/10/10/natural-disaster-affects-wedding-plans/ (https://www.lovewinstexas.com/2017/10/10/natural-disaster-affects-wedding-plans/) Quotes “What the hell were you doing on a skateboard?! That’s awesome.” - Michelle, to Christy “Something crazy happened for the first time ever. We had wedding crashers!” - Michelle, there’s a first for everything! “I’m like, no. Get out. Go away. Stop this.” - Michelle, on kicking out wedding crashers “If you are dealing with any kind of natural disaster, try to remember that we’re all in this together...Everyone’s dealing with it. Try to be patient and compassionate.” - Christy, her umbrella advice on natural disasters “You don’t plan around it, you just deal with it when it happens.” - Christy, on ‘hurricane season’ Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Lots of couples are opting to have a friend or relative be their wedding officiant. You may have to draft the bulk of the script yourself, as a couple. if you have a friend who graciously accepted your request to legally marry you, you can’t expect this friend of yours to write the script in it’s entirety! This job is collaborative. A Basic Non-Denominational Outline: Processional Opening Words / Introduction / Welcome ‘Who gives away?’ or ‘We Do’s’ from the guests Reading - definition of marriage, thoughts on love Personal anecdotes - let the guests know a little about each of you, and your journey as a couple Vows - I Do’s. These can be spoken by the officiant and repeated by you both, or you can both just answer ‘I Do’ to the officiant’s prompts, or you can write your own vows and read them to each other Second Reading - maybe by a guest Rings Exchange Closing by Officiant - sanctity of marriage Declaration of Marriage - “I know pronounce you Wife and Wife” Kiss! Recessional Link The Spruce The Everything Wedding Vows Book Final Tip: Don’t wait until the last minute to work on your ceremony script. And make sure you rehearse your personal vows a few times before the big day. It’s emotional, you want to be able to get through them authentically, but clearly! Also, we highly recommend a rehearsal! Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

The Everything Wedding Vows Book: How to personalize the most important promise you'll ever make

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What is a guest book? Is it necessary? Is it something our parents had at their wedding that we want too, or is it old fashioned and uncool? Listen to this short episode and find out! A guest book is traditional, easy, decorative, personal...and in our opinion - necessary! All you need is a book, pens, and a flat surface for guests to work on. The guest book is a keepsake and we think they’re great! Some ideas: -Coffee Table Book - Big, hard cover, glossy photos. A book made to display. Architecture, awesome city you love - Paris, vintage Italian black and white fashion photos, Vogue lookbook... -Atlas or Geographically specific book - your hometown, the wedding location, your favorite place in the world, your honeymoon destination…in a book of maps, guests can circle and sign next to their favorite cities if they want to, or sign on a page that depicts a place you have been together -Photo Album of you two - your lives together, or your professional engagement pics -Large Photo or Mat -Artwork on canvas -Custom art prints - Etsy has lots of these to choose from -Individual items...pieces of a Jenga game! -One large item that everyone signs...like a magnum wine bottle! -Something the guest does...takes a selfie, fingerprint, message request (rules for the happy couple... Newlywed tip jar... Date night ideas…) -A journal or book of blank pages - have someone do a page as an ‘example’! Easy Peasy. Links Mark and Graham for leather monogrammed books/journals Etsy custom prints Mpix for photobooks: Shutterfly for photobooks Final Tip If you have a book, and the pages are glossy, make sure you test the pens so that you don’t put those smear-y pens out for your guests. Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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A listener with a 10K Budget that was shot down by a wedding planner / Michelle tells you all about a wedding she worked last weekend / Yoga and morning routines. Before we jump into an awesome listener’s question about how to make the most of her small wedding budget, we discuss the MANY virtues of yoga! It’s good for your body, good for your mind, and good for keeping things nice and grounded during wedding planning! We are especially fond of a nice, relaxing, mindful morning routine...even if it’s only 5 minutes, it matters. So, your friendly neighborhood planners recommend Yoga. Take it or leave it! After some yoga talk, we delve into an email from ‘Hopeless in San Diego’, a listener and bride planning her wedding on the West Coast. She’s got 10k, a bad taste in her mouth from a wedding planner she contacted, and we’ve got ideas! And a little encouragement. You can do this, Hopeless! We’re here for you. Big Takeaways Since it’s smack dab in the middle of wedding season as we record this episode, we have some big plans for our Quick Focus episodes. Short, informative episodes that break something down...guest books and wedding ceremony scripts are on deck for upcoming episodes. If you are working with a modest wedding budget - don’t despair! You can still have a nice wedding. Breaking down a wedding budget is all about allocation. With a full budget of 10k, you don’t have enough money to allocate some for every single vendor. So, the word of the day is COMPROMISE. You need to figure out which elements are most important to you and which elements or vendors can be nixed. Maybe you don’t need a DJ, maybe you can do your own flowers, maybe you serve drinks and apps instead of dinner to your guests. There are ways to do this, but the truth is, you are not going to get everything you may want with a 10k budget. The easiest way to cut money out of your wedding, is by cutting the guestlist. Consider having a small ceremony with close friends only - maybe at City Hall - and then you can have a party later with more guests. This might save you lots of money because the party can be after dinner, and if you can do it on a Friday night, you’ll probably save money that way too! Keep in mind that there are lots of reasons why a wedding vendor may be willing to negotiate...you won’t know for sure if you don’t ask. Be polite, and maybe you’ll land on someone that is willing to go down in price for your wedding. Pull some strings! If you have a cousin that makes cakes, ask them to make yours! Consider it a wedding gift. Does your best friend’s husband have the hook up for some sound equipment or uplights? Can all of your aunts put together the crafty centerpieces? If you are asking someone to do a professional job when they aren’t a real professional...make sure you do something that is totally within their wheelhouse. A wedding sometimes calls for calling in favors. If you can’t afford a wedding planner, you should absolutely be listening to our podcast! We have an episode about wedding budgets and it’s not all fluff, we’re really breaking it down and we base it on percentages. We also have 3 episodes all about the wedding day timeline...this is work that a wedding planner would take on. It’s detail oriented and it’s not sexy, but you can do it! The more organized you are, the more you’ll be able to stretch your budget. Our podcast is like having a wedding planner in your pocket throughout the planning process...if you have questions, we have answers! Listen, learn, plan that wedding! Links we referenced Yoga from home! Here are Michelle's suggestions. Oroboros Yoga - Michelle goes to his Yoga classes regularly and you can listen in and practice at home. Yoga With Adriene on YouTube - Michelle's brother recommends this one. How to DJ your own wedding A past episode you should listen to if you are looking for ways to cut costs for your wedding. Quotes “The main word here is priorities. Priorities and Compromise...you and your partner have to sit down and decide what really matters to you.” - Christy “Remember, this is seasonal for us!” - Michelle, one reason why wedding vendors seem expensive “When you have a lower budget, if you can call in favors...Great.” - Michelle “These people are there to celebrate you. So you can do it YOUR way.” - Christy “It’s crazy, it’s wonderful. We are so blessed!” - Michelle, on being a wedding planner Get In Touch>/B> Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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We’re so stoked to have newlyweds on the podcast! You may remember Dre from our awesome ‘Groom Interrupted’ episode #40 (link below). He talked about what wedding planning was like from a groom’s perspective and gushed about how in love he is with his lovely bride, Andrea. Now we talk with both of them about 1 month after their wedding. Christy was a guest and we had lots of questions about their experience - what they loved, what surprised them, what decision they are SO glad they made, and what challenges they faced. Andrea gets emotional, the cat gets stuck in a bag, and we all have a grand ol’ time catching up and breaking down one of the happiest moments of their lives. Big Takeaways The officiant in Dre and Andrea’s wedding was Andrea’s dear friend and she was a HUGE part of their wedding ceremony success. (Christy can attest, it was a VERY successful ceremony.) Andrea and Dre appreciated every minute their friend spent researching and crafting the ceremony script. It was unique and personal and heartfelt. Picking the right friend to be your officiant is a very big decision - and Dre and Andrea made the right one! The ceremony script is extremely important. Don’t let it get lost in the mix of details and logistics and planning! Andrea talked a lot (through tears) about the priority she placed on being as present as possible on the wedding day. They tried to do as much work as possible planning the wedding and then they both let go and let the show go on, as Dre described. Remember to take a breath before you walk down the aisle. Take it all in. You’re always going to remember the moment before you walk down the aisle. Dre and Andrea said the best decision they made - other than marrying each other - was hiring an awesome videographer. Their highlight video was available almost immediately and they loved being able to share it with friends and family. Capturing the vows, ceremony readings, and toasts was huge, and those moments would not have been documented as thoroughly with photography only. Videography is often something that couples decide they can’t afford, and it sinks to the bottom of the priority list - check out this couple’s reasoning for hiring one, and maybe reconsider your decision to skip videography. Curating the guestlist was tough for Andrea and Dre - they passed on some great advice: Choose people that know both of you, or know you as a couple. We agree. If you have a B list and it’s time to move people from the B over to the A...think about the people that know you and your fiance together. Sharing responsibility in wedding planning...be deliberate and detailed if you are the ‘main’ wedding planning partner. This advice is straight from a type A bride, Andrea. Ceremony Readers: If you can pick someone that is a performer, do it! Andrea and Dre had a groomsman do a reading during the ceremony (Poem, by Allen Ginsberg) and he did such a wonderful job. No surprise, he’s a classically trained actor. It was a memorable moment in a memorable ceremony. Our lovely couple didn’t have a DJ, and it was fine! The music was great, because Dre and Andrea spent a lot of time and thought putting together a killer playlist on Spotify. We’re sharing their playlist in the link below! Links we referenced Dre’s first episode on our show The Videographer Dre and Andrea hired and LOVE Dre and Andrea’s highlight video Their Spotify wedding playlist (If you have a Spotify account.) Quotes “You sound wasted.” “Oh. Crap.” - Michelle and Christy, on the perils of recording late at night! “I made a pact with myself before I walked...to be present. Be as present as possible. Remember this.” - Andrea, on centering herself on her wedding day “Even though it was a big wedding, that moment made it feel so intimate. Like a dinner party...it felt like, WE are in this.” - Andrea on her wedding ceremony “If you’re gonna give your husband two options, make sure you like them both.” - Christy, summing up marriage “We weren’t sure if we were going to hire a videographer or not and it ended up being the best decision we made.” - Dre “Drones are the shit right now in wedding videography.” - Michelle “It’s an added cost, for sure. But it’s worth it to do your homework and find someone that’s really good. It’s the difference between seeing a blockbuster movie and a crappy student film.” - Dre, on the virtues of a videographer “Both of you had a really palpable joy about marrying each other.” - Christy, to the lovely bride and groom Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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It’s a smorgasbord of topics and we think you’re gonna love it! Sometimes your lovely hosts just need to catch up. Travel horror stories, anniversaries, first days of school, cool mom tips, and...wedding planner stuff. We are girlfriends, after all. So, we recorded this episode to just get back to basics, the two of us, the original duo. Big Takeaways Christy was just the officiant for her cousin’s wedding in upstate New York. Turns out, it’s a tough gig! It’s emotional, there’s a lot of pressure, there may be AV issues to deal with (or projecting your voice), you’re in front of a lot of people...and it’s IMPORTANT! So...the lesson here is, choose your officiant wisely. Make sure your chosen officiant is prepared, and has rehearsed many times. Also...even if you don’t think a microphone is necessary...it probably is. Christy learned this the hard way! Kids. We’ve said it before and we’ll probably say it again. Kids at weddings are distracting. Almost 100% of the time, ‘kids being kids’ means that there will be extra noise and a couple surprises along the way. We love ‘em, but even the best behaved kids are going to distract here and there. The two times that the kid-noise is pretty annoying: the ceremony, and the toasts. Get the script! After your wedding, ask your officiant, reverend, justice of the peace...whoever marries you, get the script from them and keep it as a keepsake in your wedding album. It’s something you can reread on your anniversary. Your officiant is usually the person who mails in the marriage certificate. If your officiant is a friend, make sure they do this. If they aren’t completely reliable, take it and mail it yourself. You don’t want to find out a year later that you aren’t legally married because someone dropped the ball of red tape! Working the room on your wedding day: We know receiving lines are old-fashioned and hard to orchestrate at big weddings. And visiting every table during dinner isn’t always possible either. But we do think that making sure to get some face time in with every guest - especially the grandparents and their generation - is super important. Remember not to take this gathering for granted. Your friends and family, people who love you, are all there to share your wedding day with you. So, don’t forget to say hi and give lots of hugs! Planning your wedding can be all-encompassing. There are so many logistics and things to check off of your to-do lists. By the time the big day comes, you may be sort of hit by the emotional aspect of it! Don’t say we didn’t warn you. We plan weddings for a living and they still surprise us with the sentimentality! Coming soon: Divorced parents and wedding planning. What are the rules? Are there rules? How does this work? We’ll break it down in an upcoming episode. Stay tuned! Links we referenced Qalo Rings Justice Kennedy’s (beautiful) Marriage Equality quote Quotes “I’m used to feeling like I nailed it! And I didn’t feel that way after this wedding.” - Christy, on her officiant gig “Michelle, my knees were visibly shaking up there!” - Christy, nervous nelly! “So the moral of the story is...keep the mic.” - Michelle, AV advice “Remember that people go out of there way, literally, flying across the country, to celebrate your wedding.” - Christy, reminding you to get real face time with your grandma at your wedding “It’s a village. People come to celebrate you. Those are the sweet moments you won’t forget.” - Christy, Face time part 2 “There are matriarchs in a family, and you are one of those matriarchs now...in charge of bringing the heart to these events.” - Christy to Michelle re: a family wedding coming up “We’ve gotta wrap it up, because it’s wedding season, lady. And I am so freaking busy!” - Michelle with the last word Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Rentals are a huge part of the wedding industry. Most weddings need at least some rentals, and some weddings require a TON of rentals. Linens, tableware, furniture, lighting. You may have a wedding venue that provides the basics, or you may need to provide everything. In this episode, we are talking to Marie Kubin, the founder and CEO of RentMyWedding.com - the largest national event rental company. RMW ships rentals anywhere. They specialize in lighting, pipe-and-drape, canopies, photo booths and chair covers. With rental items from RMW, you can transform a room - and you can do it by yourself, saving a lot of money in the process! We are so impressed with the RMW business model and product. Every question we had for Marie, she had a perfect answer - ‘Yes!’ Listen and find out how RMW can help you achieve the wedding vision you’ve been planning! Big Takeaways Choose certain places to dress up - like the cake table, the head table, and the altar. This is particularly fitting advice for couples with a tighter budget. These areas are the places that will be photographed the most, so your money goes farther if you spend it highlighting these areas. Think beyond the horizontal, the table tops. Marie shares pipe-and-drape background advice, and uplights on the ground can highlight the walls and ceiling around these areas. Uplights - using them to draw attention to certain photo-heavy places is a great idea...but using them every 5-10’ along the walls of a ballroom or open space can really dress it up when the sun goes down. Use ‘amber’ if you want a warm glow (like a fireplace effect) and gels like ‘candlelight’ are slightly cooler. If you are incorporating a lot of color into your wedding, you can use the colored uplights to alternate colors projected up on the walls. Pin-spots and washes - these lights are oft-neglected and they make such a huge difference! We suggest pin-spots on the centerpieces (especially the head table), and a wash on the cake. These supplemental lights help immensely with photographs. RMW has idiot-proofed their process, so even the most tech-un-savvy person can order their lighting and photo booths and backdrops and set it up successfully themselves. You have a couple extra days ahead of time to practice if you want. The logistics of RMW are based around the needs of the client. The shipping is always free, both ways. There is no minimum order. All items are designed for easy DIY set up, and there are video tutorials online as well. AND you can call for assistance, 24hrs, 7 days a week. What about the customization? RMW will work with you to design a monogram or graphic to project on your wall or dance floor, and all customization – and changes – are free with the rental! So if you thought you couldn’t afford a giant ‘AF’ projected on to the outside of your venue, think again, Amy and Frank, because you probably can with RMW. And they’ll send you a proof way in advance to make sure you like it. Win win! Links we referenced RentMyWedding.com Quotes “This idea...it’s very Amazon-esque. But wedding related.” - Michelle, offering RMW a new tagline “You got 4 corners in a room? Get yourself 8 uplights.” - Christy, basic math! “We pre-program everything so that it’s basically all set and you just have to plug it in.” - Marie, on how RMW has done the trouble-shooting for you “Up-lighting is the biggest bang for your buck, y’all.” - Christy and Michelle agree! And sometimes speak in almost-unison! “We are just so stoked that every question we are asking, your answer is YES.” – Christy to Marie, as a consumer Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com One More Thing/Disclaimer: Please note that we are not being paid to advertise Rent My Wedding in any way. We simply love this concept and thought it would be a great subject to cover on the show. It should also be noted that neither Christy nor Michelle have worked with Rent My Wedding in the past for any events. We most likely will going forward. As always, we encourage you to conduct your own research in hiring any vendor for your wedding.

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Because 3 wedding experts are better than 2! This episode is rapid fire, Q&A Style! We are so happy to have Anne Chertoff of WeddingWire back in the recording studio (haha) and since this is a sequel, we are following up with Anne. We are talking about second weddings, registries, receiving lines, favors, fashion and welcome gifts. Big Takeaways The Second Time Around: If you are getting married for the second time...you may feel like you need to make some adjustments, do some things differently, but you can acknowledge that the situation is different the second time around, but still VERY important! Throw ‘rules’ out the window and celebrate your wedding, your way. Anne suggests doing something relevant to the time of your life that you are in - because that is different than the first time you got married. The Wedding Gown: Are you ‘supposed’ to be totally over the moon for your wedding dress? We think there is a weird pressure to be 100% sure that your dress is the answer to all your prayers. But the truth is, not all brides actually feel this way about their dress. If you have an awesome gut feeling, trust it! If you don’t, we suggest you accept it and move on logically and with purpose - because the wedding and the marriage is the important part. Everyone’s priorities are different! Focus on and embrace your own. (But we also think you should feel BEAUTIFUL in your wedding dress, one way or another.) On another bride-fashion note...where does a stylish lesbian get a perfect suit? Anne reminds us that the important part is that you match your spouse in formality. Remember that you want to look like the 2 people getting married - together. Not a bride and a guest. (See our links for 2 great recommendations for women’s suits.) Go for high quality fabrics, and find an AWESOME tailor - fit is everything. Also, we think a grey vest with black pants is totally fine! Receiving line: Does the prospect alone have you all stressed out? Anne shares her advice for getting some face time with every guest, without having to walk around to every table during dinner (and forget that you have to eat too!). Also, consider a moment during the ceremony to turn to your guests and acknowledge your guests, make eye contact, feel the love. It only takes a moment! Family Dynamics: We talk about this A LOT on the podcast. If your parents are paying for the wedding, do you have to do everything their way? If your family is very traditional, is it your duty to include every tradition in your wedding? It’s all about compromise! And deciding what is worth arguing about! We strongly suggest you use your vendors to help you solve ‘issues’ - your wedding planner, your caterer, your photographer...all of these people can help you before the wedding, to plan and to problem solve. Our vendors are professionals and they’re probably creative and resourceful. And all wedding planners want to have a plan A, B and C - so trouble-shooting before the wedding day is the way to go! Gifts For Guests: Thinking about a welcome gift for guests? We are all big fans of totes! Practical, personalized and cute - fill em with bottles of water, a local map and a few granola bars for the wedding weekend - easy, peasy. Also - how fun are mix tapes? USB style = even better! Links we referenced Our first episode with Anne Sites for menswear inspired suits for women: DapperQ Haute Butch 9 Tailors 14 Stories and the Gay Wedding Institute Welcome bag tote ideas Quotes “Bridesmaids spend on average $1200 on a wedding.” - Anne, citing a WeddingWire study (yikes!) “Remember the first wedding...it’s part of your history. It’s part of your story.” - Michelle, wisdom about life’s cycles “No one is going to say, “Mazel tov! You look horrible.” - Anne. So pick the dress you want and don’t worry about it! “I think a big mistake couples make is thinking that if they don’t register for anything, then they’ll get cash. And that’s not the case.” - Anne, for a lot of reasons. People want to buy GIFTS, y’all! “Edible favors are always going to be popular...cookies with your names on them, a box of mini donuts at the end of the night...I love edible favors.” - Anne “With welcome gifts, it’s really going to depend on your budget.” - Anne, doesn’t it all depend on the budget? Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Fitbit's Managing Editor is here to talk to us about staying healthy, grounded and mindful as you plan your wedding! BUT...First things first - quick announcement! We were just featured on Brides.com as a Top 5 BEST podcasts for brides! Woohoo! Check it out. You already know about our podcast because you’re so smart and now other people are getting to know it too! Tell your engaged and wedding-obsessed friends! Ok - now onto this episode’s show-notes! Kimberly Daly is the Managing Editor at Fitbit, and a certified health coach. She’s also Christy’s friend (and cousin) and she’s full of information and advice about health and wellness! Big Takeaways Wedding Planning doesn’t have to be an excuse to put yourself last. “I’m so busy and stressed, I just have to eat cake and drink wine!” You can balance cake-tasting with healthy choices. You can even continue to make healthy choices as you look at your wedding reception menu! Kim did. She didn’t serve salad without dressing to all of her guests, but she made sure that she was compromising with healthy options since healthy living is so important to her and her husband. Think of your wedding date as a way to jump start your journey to a healthier life - together! Yes, lots of brides and grooms want to lose some weight before the big day. We get it. But remember that this is a marathon, not a sprint. Start making better choices while you are planning your wedding and continue to make healthier choices after your marriage! Meditation and mindfulness. We talk about it a lot and we are NOT experts. But Kim is! She told us about how important just breathing is - like consciously taking a minute to take deep breaths. When you’re stressed, your breath becomes shallow and your heart rate increases. So - stop, hold your diaphragm and take a few deeps breaths. Just 2 minutes will make a difference! More oxygen circulates through your body and you will feel more calm. See? Easy peasy 2 minutes ‘meditation’. With FitBit - it’s all about the steps, walking. FitBits have a reminder feature to let you office-dwellers know that it’s time to get up and move. And counting your steps is a great daily (achievable) goal. Meet your goal? Surpass it tomorrow! Kim reminds us that sometimes simple is best - with FitBit, the message is simple. Walk. Great for the physical and the mental components here. Kim loves doing some of her brainstorming sessions for work while she is walking. We’re into that! Eating - healthy in, healthy out. You make better choices in business and relationships when you are fueling yourself with healthy food and not overdoing the calories. SMART goals: S - Specific M - Measurable A - Achievable R - Realistic - 30 minutes a day, get moving! That’s not too hard, right? T - Time-Oriented, there’s gotta be an end point so that you can evaluate your progress, and whether or not you met your goal. If you can set a new goal, great! Hey, maybe you and your partner can start setting goals together! Fitbit can help hold you accountable because it counts steps! It tracks a ton of info about you and you can see patterns that can help you with your fitness journey. They even track your sleep! Sleep is very important while wedding planning, y’all. Links we referenced We made the Top 5! Fitbit Michelle’s fave website for calorie counts when you want to get your drink on! Quotes - “I’m passionate about helping people feel good about their bodies from the inside out.” - Kim, on how she found her path to Fitbit “It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy that wedding planning is soooo stressful. It’s almost like people expect it to be stressful and then want it to be stressful a little bit. So it fits the expectation.” - Christy, on the reputation of wedding planning “I roll my eyes, but really, I’m like I gotta get some of that kale.” - Christy, on her relationship with food, and Kim! “It’s about making it a habit and a lifestyle that you can stick to, that you can live with. Because you love yourself so much and you want to be your best self everyday and for the rest of your life and for your partner. With that said, you can make your wedding a marker and use it to kickstart your goal.” - Kim, lifestyle is the thing! “Put your butt against a wall and your legs up in the air and lay flat on the floor. It’s a stress reliever. For just one minute!” - Michelle, with her calm-down suggestion “Who wants almonds at the end of a really long day?” Christy laments “But they’re so good for you! They’re full of fiber and healthy fat and you guys, your body doesn’t even absorb all the calories in almonds!” Kim retorts encouragingly “Put it on your calendar. Make fitness part of your day...an appointment in your life that you can’t cancel. If that means you have to buddy up, do it! Cause that will help you stay accountable.” Kim’s #1 tip for working in a work out “Great! Sleep, Eat, Breathe...we’re actually teaching you how to be a human!” - Christy, wrapping up Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Wedding planning is not for the faint of heart. It’s WORK! But one things for sure. Once the wedding is over, you’ll feel differently. Maybe even a little sad. Perhaps releived? Lost? Depressed? It’s the wedding slump. We are here for you. Group Hug! Big Takeaways Talking about your wedding is fun - before and after the wedding! Enjoy the afterglow. Read all the cards you get from guests together. Open the gifts together. Look through all the photos that friends are sending you, and the sneak peek from the videographer. Stay up late with smiles talking about all the amazing dancing and how good the cake tasted. Pat each other on the back - you did it! You’re married! Yay! What now? Here’s a little breakdown of everything you may need to do right after the wedding, from night of, to weeks after: - Cards! Lots of the cards have money in them. So, when you are packing up cars at the end of the night, make sure that you separate the cards so that they don’t get lost in the mix. If you’re sober, open the cards up that night! What fun! Just make sure you note who gave you what...you know, for the thank you notes! Return rentals. If this is part of your rental contract, make sure you have a plan for this after the wedding. If you’re going on a quick honeymoon, assign this task to someone else. (Someone responsible.) Typically, you need to return your cake stand, for example. Do you have unopened alcohol to return to BevMo? Maybe! Mail in your marriage license! Lots of times, the officiant will do this for you, but double check this and mail it in yourself if necessary. On marriage licenses...you will need to request a copy of your license. Check with your local jurisdiction regarding this. Name Change! If you’re changing your name - check out HitchSwitch! We’ve heard it’s cool. Link below. (No rush on this part) Final Balances Due! If there are any vendors that have sent you invoices after the wedding - make sure you pay them! Clean and Preserve your dress. Find a reputable dry cleaner for this - one that specializes in wedding dresses. Thank you notes to guests and vendors! We are big fans of thank you notes. It’s a lost art! The one time you are actually expected to send thank you notes is your wedding. So do it. Vendor reviews, along with thank you notes. If you are so inclined, please leave reviews for your vendors on yelp, vendor Facebook pages, Wedding Wire, The Knot...wherever they are listed. We suggest you leave positive reviews and if you have something negative for a vendor, consider emailing them first to see if an issue can be resolved or handled before you leave a terrible review. But, up to you, of course. Wedding Photo Album. Do something with those beautiful photos you paid so much for! We encourage you not to just leave them on the computer, or a flash drive. Create an album. Print and frame. Trust us, the longer you wait on this, the less likely it will get done! And don’t forget about the emotional stuff post-wedding! Once the party is over, you’re married life begins! And your friends and family might not be talking about your wedding anymore. That’s ok! All good things come to an end. If you miss wedding planning - and being in that mode - get a new hobby! Fill your time with a fun project. We also suggest maybe getting a therapist. You know how we love therapy. Consider NOT having your honeymoon right after the wedding...delayed gratification! More time to plan something, more time to look forward to something! It’s the weaning process… Enjoy nesting as a married couple! Decorating, renovating, reinventing...it’s all stuff you can do as a couple. You’re so good at making decisions together now, right? You’ll need something new and fun to talk about. And maybe obsess over. Maybe a new talent emerged when you were wedding planning. Take that and run with it! And if it can be something you and your spouse do together - even better! Links we referenced HitchSwitch Mpix Online Photo Printing (Album making!) Quotes “Once the wedding is over...it can be a little sad. Or lonely. Like, what am I doing now?” ~Christy “Peace out, Bitches. I’m married now!” ~Christy - guessing what listeners think about our podcast after their wedding is over “You can keep listening to the Big Wedding Planning Podcast after your wedding!” ~Michelle with a great invitation! (Also - call to action: Email us and tell us about your wedding!) “You just finished a marathon, so it’s a little bit...what do I do now? Now what? Now I just have to stare at my spouse? What are we going to talk about now?” ~This one was layered - Christy and Michelle - we feel you! “Go see a therapist. Talk your feelings out. We love therapists!” ~Michelle, with advice for the wedding hang over Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast FACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Brandon Stiles is on the show today! He reached out to us months ago to pitch his book and course, “How to DJ Your Own Wedding”. Brandon is a professional DJ and bandleader with Uptown Down Entertainment, out of Atlanta. He has a cool accent and he’s a very cool dude. On our podcast, we talk about all kinds of weddings, including those with limited or ‘modest’ budgets - we get it! Part of the planning process can be deciding where to put the money you have, and where to cut corners, or get creative! Brandon takes us through the steps and drops some big advice about equipment, pitfalls to avoid, and song choices. (Hint - if you buy the ebook, you get access to awesome wedding playlists curated by Brandon himself!) Big Takeaways Brandon teaches people how to DJ their own wedding. His book and course are comprehensive and detailed so that if you want to ‘DIY’ your own wedding, you can do it successfully - and your wedding day will go smoothly because you covered your bases. There’s a lot to think about - the wedding day timeline, song lists, emcee-ing, equipment, set-up, announcements, flow, and breakdown. It’s not as simple as plugging in your iphone and putting spotify on. Music is really personal - what you love might not be everyone’s cup of tea. If you are going to put together your own playlists, err on the side of too many choices, so that you have options and you can read the crowd as the event goes on. Vary it up. Don’t plan on playing all 80’s hair band music...but we do validate your taste. 80s music rocks. Listen to the episode for lots of Special Song suggestions! Examples of Brandon’s ‘CPR Songs’ (what to play to resuscitate a crowd) The Wobble Stayin’ Alive Cha Cha Slide Cupid Shuffle You need an MC if you don’t have a DJ. You need a friend that doesn’t mind being on the mic, making announcements, and helping to keep things moving. This friend needs to be comfortable in the spotlight, but not a total cheeseball. This friend needs to be informed of his position in advance, and this friend needs to be (fairly) sober. Equipment: You’ll need to do some research for this part. Dimensions of the room, outlet access, is there a house system you can plug into? In Brandon’s course, there are videos that help break all of this down. Don’t be intimidated, just be informed! Basically, you need 2 inputs - 1 on the speaker and 1 more for the microphone. Two 12” speakers will cover pretty much any ‘typical’ sized reception. You can rent a sound system from Guitar Center. Links we referenced Brandon’s DJ Company How to DJ Your Own Wedding a special discounted link for you, our listeners. Quotes - “Who knew wedding podcasts could be so passionate?” - Michelle, noting that 4 minutes in and we were getting all sexy “At the end of the day...we care. Being in the wedding industry, we care about these couples and we want their day to be awesome.” - Michelle, and Brandon and Christy concur “This is a milestone in your career, sir!” - Christy, to Brandon, about his TBWPP debut “Keep your guests in mind when you are putting your lists together. And pick fun songs for all generations.” - Brandon, with his most important advice of the day “No matter what happens, people are there to support you... because they want you to have a great day, they want it to be the best day of your life.” - Brandon, on wedding guests “Sometimes I think if I just put on Ed Sheeran’s latest album, people would leave me alone all night.” - Brandon, on the songs he is tired of playing... Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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We’re veering from our typical show structure and topics to delve into TRENDS today. And since we don’t do this very often, we wanted to do it right - with an expert. Anne Chertoff is the Trends Expert (that’s her job title!) at WeddingWire - the premier online resource for wedding planning tools, vendor library, guidance and inspiration. Anne has worked in the wedding industry for 20 years and we are loving picking her brain about what she is seeing right now in the wide world of weddings. This episode is all over the place -- in a good way! We talk ice cream, gobos, braids, greenery, and all about the tools that couples are using now to personalize their wedding and to give their guests a memorable, unique experience of celebration! Big Takeaways What makes Anne an expert? Her resume includes... - Modern Bride magazine - Martha Stewart Weddings - Various wedding tv shows, websites and partnerships worldwide! - She covered the royal wedding for various outlets! - Now, she’s at WeddingWire as a Trends Expert and Spokesperson. And she’s speaking to us! Sidenote - in interviewing Anne, we stumbled upon some really amazing career advice. Basically, do what you love! Anne loved weddings and in a series of baby steps and smart moves (unpaid internship included), Anne crafted her passion for weddings into a career. She talks about trying different things and breaking rules. We agree that life would be awesome if everyone loved their job. What’s up with WeddingWire, anyway? If WW had been around when Anne was planning her own wedding many years ago, she would have utilized the vendor lists on WW, first and foremost. WW sifts the vendor/venue search for you so you have a place to start. Descriptions, contact info, reviews, photos...it’s all there for you in one place and you can narrow your search depending on your location and budget. Brilliant! The budget tool and the social apps also make things easy and fun...snapchat filters, hashtag generator...the practical and the playful - WeddingWire has it all. Let’s talk about tech, baby! - An app for your guests - WedSocial . It’s an app that you create and your guests can find all the info about your wedding, it is your wedding website, as an app. It’s also a really cool way for everyone to share photos of the wedding, all in one place. - WeddingWire Snapchat filters. Creating a customized filter or border with the date...it’s like having a portable photobooth all night long! - Hashtags - you come up with a fun hashtag, and then on Instagram and Facebook, all your guests can tag photos. Make a photo album from the hash-tagged photos! There's even a WeddingWire Hashtag Generator - Audio Visual is advancing like crazy. Lighting is key. Ask about gobos and image mapping on the walls...innovative and cool ways to customize an otherwise blank space Wedding Fashion - Trends are shifting from show-y, sexy wedding dresses, to more modest, traditional dresses...slowly but surely. Anne loves the high necks and long sleeves right now. Bows on dresses are also trendy right now - done in a modern way. - For men, we’re seeing more grooms making fashion statements. Feather bow ties? Awesome! Men are expressing themselves more than ever - accessories, ties, changing suit jackets, slim cut suits. It’s all good, gentlemen. What about same-sex weddings? The key is coordination - the style and formality need to coordinate. Not matchy-matchy. You and your partner need to be on the same ‘level’ and if you’re shopping for your wedding day outfits separately, consider bringing a friend to each shopping trip so you know you are going in the right direction. The most important thing is that your looks compliment each other. The biggest ‘surprise’ player in weddings this year? Ice Cream has made a big impression this year and it’s still going strong. - Old fashioned ice cream trucks - Sundae bars - Ice cream as performance (have you seen the liquid nitrogen ice cream makers? So cool.) - Fancy, playful ice cream as the dessert of a 5 course meal - Ice cream cake. It comes in cool colors, it’s customizable, it’s photogenic. Ice cream...who knew? Elements that are here to stay - Wedding Cakes are timeless. The cake cutting photo is iconic. Do it. You won’t regret it! - Bridal bouquets are still huge - they complete the look for a bride. We aren’t seeing brides toss the bouquet as often, but carrying a bouquet is here to stay. - The big ‘send off’ is evolving and we all still love it. - Furniture and specialty rentals are huge right now and don’t seem to be going anywhere. Links we referenced WeddingWire WedSocial Vow to Be Chic Menguin The Black Tux Black by Vera Wang Brackish Bow Ties Garter Girl Quotes “You are wedding-SICK, lady!” - Michelle, to Anne “Having so much at your fingertips makes it so much easier...it’s all at one place, it’s super easy to use and it’s free.” - Anne, on the virtues of WeddingWire “The most important thing is for a couple to figure out early on what is important to them. Is it the fashion, is it the food...allocate the money to those areas. And you can find inexpensive ways to do the other things.” - Anne, advice for couples with a tighter budget “The time is now for men to own their wedding looks.” - Christy, who wants to support this movement “For flowers, we are seeing a lot of lush centerpieces, and a lot of greenery in centerpieces, which can offset some floral costs.” - Anne on flower trends “We went from cakes to cupcakes to dessert buffets to candy to donuts...now popsicles are huge.” - Anne, on wedding dessert evolution NOW HEAR THIS! We will be recording again with Anne and this time, she will be answering YOUR QUESTIONS! Ask her anything related to wedding trends. Whether it's running an idea by her, asking her advice or asking her for some suggestions for your wedding Deadline to send us your questions is August 17th, 2017 3 ways to send us your questions: 1) Twitter @TBWPPodcast 2) Facebook 3) Email: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! Twitter: @TBWPpodcast Email: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com Facebook

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Here at The Big Wedding Planning Podcast, we want to take a little step back. A deep breath. And talk about perspective. We know wedding planning is fun and all encompassing and, at times, very stressful. We talk about weddings on the podcast and we hope we make your planning experience easier and more interesting. We hope we give you permission to DO YOU, and to truly take in the whole experience. But we want to also acknowledge that life doesn’t stop just because your wedding is coming up. We realize that you may be going through other BIG life events at the same time you plan your big day. So in today’s episode, we just want to take the time to consider the big picture. Big Takeaways You may be dealing with something really hard, or complicated, or super celebratory while you plan your wedding...and to that end, we suggest taking care of yourself and your needs. This is easier said than done. We get it. So if you need a reminder to take the time and love yourself, and work it out, just listen to this episode again! And maybe consider a therapist and meditation. Self care is of the utmost importance! Reversely, while you are blissfully planning your wedding and living in perfect wedding planning land, someone you love may be going through something not as awesome. So try to be sensitive to that. Ask questions! Don’t forget to diversify your conversation points. No one wants to hear about your wedding allllllll the time, trust us. Big News Michelle’s sister just got engaged! In Paris! Congratulations! We can’t wait to dish about it...when your sister is a wedding planner...a blessing or a curse? A blessing, we say! More big news! We are teasing you in this episode because we’re going to have an amazing guest on the podcast soon. Stay tuned! Links we referenced Our itunes reviews! Hey! We are planners for hire! Michelle, Allure Consulting Christy Matthews Events Quotes “It’s hard for someone to listen to someone else talk about their wedding all day long when you are going through a divorce.” “It’s also boring.” - Christy and Michelle “It’s worth noting that wedding planning is not the end all be all...it’s a party.” - Christy, not to minimize it! “Life doesn’t stop just because you are planning your wedding.” - Christy, and maybe the succinct summary of this episode “There’s this date coming that you’re so looking forward to... but it’s still so important that you don’t let it be all consuming and you’re taking the time to appreciate the world around you. Appreciate the people around you...talk about something other than weddings.” - Michelle, encouraging you to practice mindfulness “We don’t want to be insensitive to those of you who are also dealing with other things. So we want you to hear us when we say, people care.” - Christy, noted Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Breaking up is hard to do! In this episode, we are talking about etiquette and how to let a vendor know you will not be working with them. Perhaps you want to go in another direction and hire someone else, or if you want to fire a vendor AFTER signing a contract with them. Do you need to email vendors that you have reached out to to tell them that you don’t want to hire them? Yes! Can dumping a vendor after signing their contract be very messy? Yes! We talked to lots of planners for this episode and we have big opinions to share - as always! Big Takeaways Hey- this is a buyer’s market. You, as the couple, have LOTS of options for who you hire to be on your vendor team. Vendors understand that you are likely comparing prices and proposals. You will have plenty of good reasons to hire one vendor over another. We get it! But please don’t ghost us. If you have had a conversation with a wedding planner or vendor, and you decide not to hire them, take a minute and send a quick email to tell them that you aren’t going to hire them. That’s all it takes. When declining a vendor, should you tell them why? Sure! Especially if you have a good rapport with them, and if the decision was a really close call. It’s nice for us vendors to hear why you went with someone else...was it budget? Proximity? Experience? How I accept payment? If there was a primary factor that went into your decision making, let us know! It helps us with our BUSINESS. And we won’t take it personally if you phrase it politely. We’re professionals, after all. The main response from all the planners we talked to was Please tell us! Let us close the file out, release the date, move on, mourn...even a quick rejection email is better than nothing. It’s good for us. Just keep it polite, please. If you decide to hire a full wedding planner - the planner will be the one to put feelers out for vendors and the planner will be the one to decline vendors as you move through your hiring process. Thats a big plus of hiring a full planner, right? Right! A full planner will essentially do the ‘dirty work’ for you! You won’t even be cc’d on the email! Clean and easy. If you do hire a vendor, pay the retainer, sign the contract...and THEN decide to part ways with the vendor...things can be a little trickier. It’s not as easy and simple as writing a quick email. You’ll likely lose money, and it may be an awkward process, just by virtue of a contract being broken. So our big advice for this episode is to carefully consider each and every vendor and read contracts carefully. Look at options, scope out the competition. Do your due diligence before you hire vendors, because you don’t want to change your mind halfway in and lose money. Remember that if you tell vendor A the reason you are leaning towards vendor B...then vendor A might be able to make some concessions to meet your needs. Negotiations aren’t always going to go your way, but you won’t know until you try! Links we referenced none Quotes “I’ve been dumped.” -Christy “Me too.” - Michelle. See? It happens to the best of us! Re: Ghosting: “Take a second and show me a little respect, esp. If I have taken time to begin a rapport with you. At Weddingwire World one of the speakers talked about millennials and this just being their communication style. They seem to think this is just fine.” - Planner from our informal survey “I’m totally bummed when I get broken up with, but I still want to know. I’m not going to cry and quit my job.” - Christy, feeling the feelings and moving on “Rejection is part of this.” - Michelle, truth! “Best of luck to you, truly. I hope you find an amazing planner who fits perfectly and meets all your needs.” - Christy Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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A bonus Quick Focus episode! Who gives a toast? Typically, two ‘honored attendants’ give a toast during dinner. (The Best Man, and the Maid of Honor, for example.) A parents or relative may give a Welcome Toast before dinner starts, and a lot of times, we see the couple themselves give a toast before they cut the cake. The content of a great wedding toast follows this simple formula: A brief history of your personal relationship to the bride/groom and why you think they are so so special An anecdote about the couple proving how awesome they are together A wish for the couple or a ‘May Your Life always…’ heartfelt sentiment for their wedding day An actual toast - ‘To Lauren and Blake!’ or ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, to the couple!’ Keep the following in mind: Introduce yourself Thank the hosts End with an actual proclamation of Toasting the couple! And introduce the next toaster if applicable. Don’t forget to hold a glass of wine/champagne/beer - or have it close to you! Remember to keep toasts around 5 minutes long. 7-8 if you are a REALLY good toaster! Try not to go off on a tangent! Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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We talk about every element of wedding planning on this podcast, and we try to break things down so that the information we are sharing is useful and accessible. We share our personal experiences, our opinions (so many opinions), and our best advice after more than two decades of being professional wedding planners. In this episode, we go one step deeper - and get a little personal. Michelle is interviewing her dear friend Sarah about Sarah’s wedding toast. Sarah was recently the Matron of Honor at her sister’s wedding and Michelle was the planner. The experience is fresh in their minds and together, they dissect the beautiful toast that Sarah gave at the wedding. This is true insider information! Big Takeaways A great wedding toast goes down in the history of a family. It’s something that people never forget...even if they forget the words, they never forget the accompanying feeling. A great wedding toast is heartfelt and introductory. It’s funny and poignant and it shares something about the couple - about both of them - that guests at the wedding might not be aware of. It celebrates each individual, but showers praise upon them as a couple. There are inside jokes and home run jokes, maybe a tear or two. All in under about 7 minutes. Writing a toast takes a little time! Marinate. List things out...memories, stories, qualities. We suggest writing it down - if not word-for-word, an outline. Remember, you may be a little emotional, and having words to refer to instead of just relying on your memory will come in handy, trust us. We also suggest rehearsing it a little! (A lot.) On a less logistical note, this episode is really a celebration of the love Sarah has for her sister - we’re so glad she was open to sharing this experience with us. We hope you enjoy listening to her story as much as Michelle enjoyed recording it. It was an honor! Links we referenced Manly Bands -Remember to use the promo code TBWPP to get a 15% discount on any order! Sarah on Instagram SHRH Designs and Instagram Sarah’s Design company on Etsy Quotes “She seemed to know what would hurt, and when I needed support, and how to be the support for me.” - Sarah, on her sister’s support “As all of you here know, we are lucky to be loved by these two. They love hard, and are beyond loyal to their friends and family” - Sarah’s toast “She was certainly much better than me at yelling like a monster when danger comes near” - Sarah, telling a funny story about her sister Lindsay as part of the toast I knew she would hate me for it, but I had to throw in a little dig We laugh at very inappropriate times “HIIIIIII! I MISS YOU!” - Michelle, to her former bride, Lindsay Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Speaking of Manly Bands -- I have a MANLY groom with me here now for today’s episode Groom Interrupted! Andreas is a ‘typical’ groom - totally excited about his wedding, but not as involved in the planning as his bride-to-be, Andrea. (Yes, Andreas and Andrea.) Dre is Christy’s dear friend of 16 years and he was gracious enough to offer up ‘his side’ of things for the podcast. We talk about what stresses him out, what he’s most looking forward to, and how capable grooms really are! Also, Christy reminds him about a day-of gift for his lady, and sends him to the Manly Bands site for a ring! Don’t worry, he wrote down the promo code. Big Takeaways Sometimes a leap of faith is necessary, and if you both feel good about it, do it! In Dre’s case, he and Andrea signed a contract and paid a deposit on a venue, sight unseen. When they did get a chance to visit it, they were pleasantly surprised (and relieved), but they also knew that once the deposit was paid, they were going to have to make the venue work no matter what, so compromises were on the horizon. One big compromise - PORK! His bride is a Pescatarian, but the venue’s house catering team is all bbq, all day. So in order to make it work and just go with the flow, Andrea budged on the menu, and now, her guests will be dining on bbq pork and beef. But there will also be some fish thrown on the grill. Money and budgeting for a wedding is indeed stressful, and Andrea and Dre took the less complicated road by paying for almost all of their wedding themselves. Dre said he knew if his parents were contributing a lot financially, they would also be contributing a lot to the decision making team, and he didn’t want that. Advice to brides: delegate stuff from your planning to-do list to your partners. They really are capable! Dre saw how overwhelmed Andrea could get with all of the things she needed to do for planning, and he wanted to take something off her plate. If your partner offers, take them up on it! Planning the ‘fun stuff’ - music, surprises, the vows...these are the elements that Dre is stoked about as a groom. He can’t wait to see his bride walk down the aisle, and he can’t wait to party with all of his friends. Making the celebration unique and filled with their personality is something that Dre and Andrea did together and they thought it was fun! Wedding planning should be fun! Another big compromise was the guestlist - Andrea wanted 200 guests, Dre wanted 100 or less. Ultimately, the venue decided for them since it has a max capacity of 150. This happens a lot - the venue is such a HUGE decision because it directly informs the wedding date, the overall budget, and the guestlist. Not to mention the look and feel of a wedding. This couple fell in love with a ranch in California, and that decision means that Andrea has to drastically cut back her guestlist. Links we referenced Manly Bands - Our sponsor! Remember to use the promo code TBWPP to get a 15% discount on any order! Love Languages Online Quiz Quotes - “I can say 100% that a wedding is only as much fun as the couple, so your wedding is going to be fun” - Christy complimenting Dre “...cause she's like a G on the dance floor” - Andreas bragging about his fiance’s moves. “I like to call myself a sensitive bro. I cry at rom-coms, I'm into it.” - Andreas “It was so weird cause my sense of budget was different from her sense of budget” - Andreas, what a surprise! “I think you'd be surprised at how much (grooms) would like to be involved” - Andreas “I want to feel like i'm part of this and it's not all on her shoulders.” - Andreas “She's so beautiful already, but that moment will be etched in my memory forever.” - Andreas Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Special Guest today - Mia! Mia is Christy’s cousin and at 25 years old, she has been a bridesmaid in 7 weddings in last 2 years (and a guest to plenty more). We’re talking today about the role of ‘Bridesmaid’ and how this experienced ‘maid feels about all the money, dresses, parties, duties and of course, the honor of the job. We’re picking the brain of a young, single, southern, girl’s girl - the weddings she has been in are all pretty traditional, and all straight. The wedding party with guys on one side and girls on the other, and so far, the dresses have always matched. So - now that the background is set, let’s talk about bridesmaids! Big Takeaways Mia has been a bridesmaid for her sister, several ladies in her close-knit group of work girlfriends, and 2 life-long friends. She said the best experience was for her sister - when she was the only bridesmaid, and the maid-of-honor. The big toast was totally daunting, but she liked feeling extra special on the wedding day, and the idea of standing by her sister was an honor...the importance of the role didn’t get lost in the size of the bridal party. Things Bridesmaids Like: - When the bride shows appreciation with thoughtful gifts, cards and meaningful words. It’s especially appreciated when the bride gives these gifts - When the bride lets them pick their dress - When the dress doesn’t cost an arm and a leg (Mia hasn’t ever worn a bridesmaid dress a second time) - The Bachelorette Party - this is fun for bridesmaids, as long as no one brings the drama. It’s a big expense for the bridesmaids that plan it, so if you’re a bride - The Getting Ready day of - as Mia said, it feels like a last slumber party and she’s never felt put-out by having to arrive at a hotel at 6am for the hair and makeup and mimosas to begin. - Sitting next to the bride/groom at the reception, but also sitting next to their significant others. Yes, boyfriends count, not just husbands. Meaning: A bridesmaid doesn’t love sitting at the King’s Table at the reception, if her partner/date is at another table. - Bridesmaids just want to have fun! The reception is a party, and a party is only as much fun as the hosts. So, if you are the couple, kick up your heels and have a wonderful time celebrating your wedding day with all your loved ones. Your bridesmaids will have fun dancing the night away with you. It’s ok NOT to ask someone to be in your bridal party, even if you were in theirs. Your bridesmaids should be your closest friends or relatives. It doesn’t matter if they all know each other or run in the same circles. The important thing is that they all love you and are there to celebrate and support you, the bride, on the wedding day. Mia was asked to be a bridesmaid by a school friend that she barely kept in touch with...it was awkward. The best bridal parties are the true inner circle of the bride. Links we referenced Manly Bands Our sponsor and a kick-ass company. Did you know they donate a portion of their profit to a different charity every month? Remember to use the promo code TBWPP to get a 15% discount on any order! Professional Bridesmaid (she also has a book!) Dessy Group - bridesmaids dresses Quotes “If you’re the main bridesmaid that is dealing with all that, do you just buy it all and hope that people pay you back?” Yea, pretty much. Christy quizzes Mia on the bachelorette weekend “The wedding party being bigger and younger takes more wrangling.” Christy, to young’un Mia “I could see how excited she was about the Cinderella dress. So I told her...it’s your day. You choose a dress you want, not the one your mom wants, or anybody else’s opinion. It’s your day to be a princess, wear whatever dress you want.” Mia, being a supportive bridesmaid “I laugh when people say ‘You can wear it again!’” Mia, on how bridesmaid’s dresses never get worn again! Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Is wedding planning this stressful for all couples?! Short answer: Yes, yes it is. Listen, planning a huge party is a big endeavor. Layered into that, is a LOT of money, a LOT of emotions and some crazy expectations. Family. Emotions. History. It can feel very weighted. It feels overwhelming. Totally normal! In this episode, Michelle and Christy share the experiences of some of our clients - past and present, and discuss the elements of wedding planning that seem to be universally stressful for couples. How can you manage it all? We’re here to help. Big Takeaways Here are the stress commonalities we discovered: Venue: The is a very big decision when you are planning your wedding. Two main things are in play here - 1) The venue is often the biggest part of the budget. 2) You have to make this decision very early on in the planning process. Those two things are stressful by nature! Making a big decision like this will inform a lot of other decisions you have to make, so it’s a big deal. It feels like a big deal, and you may have to begin to hone your lifelong compromising skills at this point. The venue decision will set you on certain paths...the wedding date, the max amount of guests you can invite, even the style and theme. Our advice is to stay grounded. The best way to do that is to work out your budget ahead of time. Then stick to it and be realistic. Budget: We all know talking about money is a no-no at dinner parties. Money is one of the main things married couples argue about. Not surprisingly, deciding how to spend your money is a huge stress for a lot of couples planning their wedding. When in doubt, try to make decisions on how you can best represent yourselves as a couple on your wedding day. Let your wedding reflect your couple-ness. Yes, couple-ness. It’s a made-up word and we love it. Surprise Stress: Often, a ‘normal’, organized, ambitious, reasonable, adult human can turn into a crazed crying lunatic spinning out about a linen color, or a canceled florist appointment. We suggest yoga, taking ‘planning breaks’ and above all, keeping yourself and each other COOL. Stay connected. Keep your eye on the prize. It sounds pep-talky, but it’s legit advice for wedding planning! Guest list: Compromising on the guest list - both size and specifically who to invite (and not invite) is a conflict that MANY couples find themselves locked in. Listen to our Guest list episode; we go into detail about how to organize and curate your perfect guest list. Spoiler alert - we suggest an A and B list. Who is steering this ship anyway? The more people involved in planning your wedding, the messier if can be (the planning process, not the wedding itself. We know lots of couples have parents contributing financially to the wedding, and this often means that the parents reserve the right to invite who they want to, and to make decisions about the wedding that they otherwise wouldn’t be involved in. Family drama happens with every wedding. Trust us. We validate you. You are not crazy. Everyone else is! (Kidding. But not kidding about how family drama being very common. Try to remember that emotions are high and it won’t always feel like this.) Mini Rant: The decision to invite or not invite children to a wedding is a tough one for couples. Lots of factors go into this decision, and couples feel pressured to cater to their guests. Here’s our take: if you get an invitation that says ‘adult only’ (or the couple has made this clear in another way) - don’t push back. Don’t be an asshole. It’s rude to ask a host if you can bring your kid if kids aren’t invited. Period. The only exception is an infant that is on the boob. As an invited guest, figure out your own stuff for that night and don’t contact the couple about it. You RSVP yes or no - you don’t get to make the rules. Tbh - the same goes for plus-ones. If your boyfriend isn’t invited, don’t call the host/bride and try to bend the rules for yourself. Links we referenced Manly Bands! - https://manlybands.com. Remember to use the promo code TBWPP to get a 15% discount on any order! Our Guest List Episode: http://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/the-guest-list Quotes - “How can we help? We’re here for you, buddy.” - Christy and Michelle, at your service “Despite having been to many weddings in the last couple of years, he can’t seem to recall details. Like when toasts happen.” - Bride Listener 1, on how details seem to elude her fiance “It’s the biggest decision, it’s the most expensive decision and it has to be done early on. It’s daunting!” - Christy, on picking a venue “Shit gets real when they are going to hold your credit card for $9000.” Christy, on your venue budget “My fiance’s stepmother is wearing white. And I’m like, are you F-ING KIDDING ME?” - Bride Listener 2, on how something becomes a big deal “Tell your listeners, the moment I got engaged, I got a therapist.” - Bride Listener 3 dropping some GREAT advice “This is a celebration of her love and she doesn’t want to look at a stranger’s face. She only wants the people that are most important to her!” - Michelle, about a bride dealing with very rude guests! “It’s so hard to negotiate and compromise with your partner, with your parents, with your budget. The guest list is huge.” - Michelle, on how stressful a guestlist is for couples Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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The rehearsal. Necessary? Yes! Fun? Totally! Well, maybe more necessary than fun, but hear us out. There are lots of reasons why a rehearsal is important, and it’s not just to run through the actual ceremony ‘script’. You need to do that, in some way, at a rehearsal, sure. But it’s also super important to gather your VIPs (wedding party, officiant, parents, readers…) Big Takeaways Religious or cultural ceremonies are sometimes ‘run’ by the church lady, or the priest or rabbi. For these weddings, planners have less to do, technically, but it’s still an opportunity for everyone in your wedding party to get on the same page. And it’s the planner’s job to distribute information, answer questions, and help wrangle and line everyone up. The first part of the rehearsal can feel a little like herding cats. But...better on the rehearsal than on the wedding day! We’re seeing more and more couples resistant to the idea of rehearsals. Smaller wedding parties, less religious ceremonies...busier couples? Some couples think that the rehearsal will take away from the wedding day, like it will feel robotic or something. Maybe rehearsals have just gotten a reputation for being boring and a waste of time. But we assure you, they aren’t! Trust us, we’re professionals. Rehearsals are particularly important if your officiant is not a ‘professional’ - and a lot of weddings these days are in this category. It will make the officiant feel more comfortable on the wedding day, and muscle memory will kick in on the wedding day. It’s good for everyone, we promise. Rings! Don’t let kids handle the rings. Just don’t. Not at the rehearsal, not at the wedding. Not on a train, not in the rain... Elements of a rehearsal - 10 minutes - gather, wrangle, introduce everyone - 30 minutes - ceremony cue to cue. Beginning with butts-in-seats in the first row or two (have your dad stand where he will sit on the wedding day. The flower girl’s mom needs to be in an aisle seat. Map it out and put people in their places physically. Make a ceremony seating chart. (You should write this down ahead of time.) Then you basically go through the beginnings and endings of the ceremony paragraphs...do NOT read verbatim the whole thing. Anytime there is a physical action - like exchanging rings - you practice it. You rehearse, get it? Practice lining up for the processional and walking in, and then practice the recessional. - 30 minutes - Powwow. Share information so that everyone is on the same page on the wedding day. Arrival times, ‘getting ready’ plan, who is doing the first toast and when, etc. Remind the bride to eat and drink lots of water! Also, take time to make sure that ushers or greeters know their job. - 10-30 minutes - STUFF. It’s your wedding, you’ll have stuff! Probably about a trunk-load, give or take. (Including but not limited to - toasting flutes, signage, jars filled w candy, your marriage license in it’s utilitarian manila envelope…) What if the venue isn’t available for a rehearsal? What if your officiant can’t come to a rehearsal? We still suggest you have a rehearsal - you need some space, and as many VIPs as possible. Have it at the time that the most people can come. Others can be brought up to speed on the wedding day. If possible, it helps to have 8 or so folding chairs to outline the space, the width of the aisle Hint - a rehearsal is smoothest if: 1. There are as many people from the VIP category as possible. 2. If ‘extra’ people are NOT there. If you have 5 bridesmaids and they have 5 boyfriends that are not in the wedding party...request that the boyfriends don’t attend the actual rehearsal. Links we referenced none Quotes - “You’re a kiss ass, you brown-noser.” ~Michelle, to Christy, with love “I always tell my couples, if you want to hold hands, hold hands! If you want to wipe her tear away, wipe it away. And when you say your vows, do not worry about the last person in the last row….if they can’t hear your vows. Your vows are the only part of the ceremony that are from one person to another. Just say them!” ~Christy, on the magnetic power between people in love! “To the couple - do what feels right. Everybody else - do what I told you to do.” ~Christy, spoken like a true wedding planner “I mean, what three-year-old hasn’t swallowed a precious jewel?” ~Christy, if she had a dime… “If you can get 6 chairs and an empty room, we can rehearse. You can do it anywhere, as long as your VIPs are on board.” ~Christy, a statement that is true for many situations! “There are always people that run late...as long as it’s not the couple...you have to start on time.” ~Michelle, on the inevitable and the necessary Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Ah! May was such a whirlwind for us, and this is our ‘retrospective’ episode on the start of wedding season, the craziness, and the wedding lessons learned. So far... Big Takeaways May is the beginning of WEDDING SEASON in most of the country, and industry pros are very busy (usually happily)! We may not be as responsive as quickly at this time - it’s like tax accountants in early April. If you know a wedding planner, and it’s May, give her a hug. We love it, but this job is tough! Second systems needed from your DJ, for a ceremony: ask questions, get specifics, and make sure that the second system that you are hiring a DJ to set up is an actual system. Do not approve of a DJ simply plugging in his phone to a speaker or 2. This can be a hard lesson to learn if a giant mistake is made during a very important time in your ceremony. There are a lot of variables that can go into what is ultimately a giant mistake...don’t let spotty wifi or a distracted DJ be one of them! Microphones for the ceremony: You probably want at least one for amplification, and this is often a lapel mic clipped to your Officiant. We suggest that you ALSO have a wireless, handheld mic available as well, in the event that the lapel mic on the Officiant cuts in and out, or doesn’t pick up any sound from the couple saying their vows. All your vendors will be working together on the wedding day. A photographer may motion to an Officiant to step out of the way for a second during the exchanging of the vows - the photographer is trying to get the best shot, but this move may affect the amplification if the Officiant is the one wearing the mic. Just have a plan B available to you up there! Share the cost of things like ceremony florals if at all possible. Think outside the box! It doesn’t hurt to ask! This works the best when your venue has a strict preferred vendors list, or even a house vendor, like a florist. Also, it’s most convenient when your wedding is on a Friday, or Sunday...see if it’s possible to use the same lighting company as the other weddings that share your wedding weekend. You could end up saving a couple hundred bucks because they are already installing something that both weddings can actually use. Whatever decisions you make for your wedding day - let the decision making be done by your actual wedding day. Give yourself permission to actually let things flow on the wedding day. The more laid back and happy you can be, the better. It sounds too simple, but trust us, we’re professionals. Getting hung up on details is great during the planning process, but not during the wedding day. Links we referenced Michelle’s Instagram Feed @allureconsulting #thebigweddingplanningpodcast - on Instagram, we’ll hashtag all our posts that are in the podcast realm DJ Justin - Bay Area DJ that Michelle loves and highly recommends. Foreign Cinema - One of Michelle’s favorite SF wedding venues. She talks about it all the time! Eothen Floral - Florist that Michelle just worked with and will be recommending for the rest of her life! Helena and Laurent Photography - Another stellar recommendation. Michelle just worked with this husband and wife team and was very impressed. Venmo - An easy way to send money / pay someone back. Michelle mentions this when talking about her tip on sharing floral costs with another couple getting married or even maybe sending gratuities to your vendors after the wedding. Quotes “There weren’t a ton of red flags...except…” Uh Oh. -Christy, looking back “Very good hint. You heard it here first, people.” -Christy, seconding Michelle on her brilliant hint “It’s our job as planners to make THEIR choice work for the day.” -Christy, a friendly reminder to herself “You know what? Freaking let them be!” -Michelle, on remembering to let her clients stretch that timeline a little “Just enjoy it. Once the day is here, just sail through. Take the time to just enjoy.” -Michelle, TRUTH Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Kathy Newby is an Event Specialist at Abbey Party Rentals in the San Francisco Bay Area. Kathy and Michelle started working together on events almost 2 decades ago! Kathy got her degree from the ‘school of hard knocks’ - moved around a lot, has a ton of experience, and settled in the Bay Area and began her events career on the hospitality side. She started working for a big rental company in 1994, and eventually landed at Abbey. She is a networking guru, she gives back to the industry, mentors young people in the industry and she is a wealth of knowledge on all things rentals! Big Takeaways Tenting is intense! You have to think about dimensions, sunlight, flooring, lighting, generators, restrooms, connectors, weather...basically, if you need tenting for your outdoor wedding, you need to hire an experienced professional. Like Kathy! She talks about how to tent a wedding without breaking the bank - tricks of the trade to glam up a basic tent: lighting, swagging, pre-fab ceiling liners (as opposed to hand-pleated). Covering a pool - a flooring and rental company can do it! Plexiglass, staging, raised walkway above the pool, boarding it and putting astroturf down, lots of options. Backyard weddings, private estate events...just because you get a ‘free’ space, doesn't mean you’ll save money. In fact, typically, it costs more to transform a space into a venue. Michelle and Kathy break down the logistics for a 75 person backyard wedding...for example, a clear tent may be a hard NO, depending on the location and weather - they act like greenhouses and can get super hot and uncomfortable. Kitchen generators, lux porto potties, distances that the set up techs will have to load -in, permits, noise ordinances... There are many variables and everything is customized, so getting a price estimate isn’t a simple formula. Plan B. The Bad Weather Plan. You have to decide this plan in advance (not a week out), and then 48 hours beforehand, you can decide if you’re using the plan B or not. And then, fingers crossed. (A deposit will be required to hold the inventory, and have a crew standing-by.) Delivery and Strike - these times have to be arranged when you book your rentals. The prices depend on the time allotted and the crew/equipment needed. This can be expensive. Labor is the biggest cost in the rental industry. Just a quick example of basic inventory from the Abbey website - rental prices vary, but you can get an idea of overall pricing by checking the website Silver Chiavari Chair - $8/ea 3’x3’ square of dancefloor - $15 60” round table - $10 Links we referenced Abbey Party Rentals SF website The Water CottageThe luxury portable restroom company Kathy recommends One True Love Vintage The vintage furntiure rentals and sister company Kathy works with at Abbey Kathy's Instagram Page @askforkathy Quotes “You don’t have a normal 9-5 life. You’re like, weekend city.” - Michelle, breaking the news to Kathy “I’m very passionate about what I do. I eat, live and breathe this industry. If I’m not at events on the weekends, I’m in the office, or I’m meeting clients, or I’m going to networking events, or finding new venues that we can work with.” - Kathy, on her 24/7 gig “Use us as a resource if there is something that you really want but don’t know how to source it...pick our brains, walk our warehouse. See something and think, hey, maybe I can repurpose this.” - Kathy, on how a rental company can join the collaboration team for your wedding “Remember about the special needs of your clients.” - Kathy, discussing the virtues of port-o-potties “I’m not going to tell you if it looks ugly. That’s not my job. My job is to make you happy.” - Kathy dropping some TRUTH Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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More and more couples are choosing someone very special in their lives to officiate their wedding ceremony. We want to tell you about those very special people out there and how that all works. Officiating weddings when you’re not really an officiant? How does that work? It used to be that couples who were not getting married in a House of Worship would have an “Officiant For Hire” marry them. These are seasoned professionals who put a lot of work and time and thought into writing a ceremony for their clients. When you hire them to be your officiant, they take the lead on writing your ceremony script which is one of the hardest parts. Christy is going to be a guest at 3 weddings in the next 6 weeks and all 3 have friends as their officiants. Not only that but 2 of these ceremonies will incorporate a “Toast” to their guests as part of the ceremony. Drinks in hand. Big Takeaways Choose the right person. Someone you trust and cares about you as a couple. Someone who believes in marriage. - This is not just about public speaking: Don’t make the mistake of choosing someone because you think they are good in front of people. Remember that you who choose is the “ringleader” of the ceremony. - They need to be level headed and able to stay calm. Think scorching heat, think a screaming baby in the audience. They need to be able to go with the flow, but still demand everyone’s attention. - A Big Ego need not apply: If you have a good buddy who really makes people laugh, who is always the life of the party, who jokes around and really know how to let loose and encourages other to do so in their presence. Don’t ask that guy! He may be the best one to get people dancing, but he’s not the best option to officiate the wedding. The day is about the couple. - Engaging / Comforting: Someone who not only engages your loved ones, but someone who will be able to speak to you and your partner directly. Someone who will look into each of your eyes and encourage you at that moment that you may not really be “in your body”, to look into each other’s eyes and really enjoy this once in a lifetime moment. Once you ask this person, be realistic and let them know how much work it will entail and how much you expect from them. - It’s not a small ask. You expect them to be there for you. To help you write the ceremony. To come up with some beautiful words and thoughts. - There will be lots of emails back and forth - There will be a couple of times you get together and work on the ceremony - They need to be there for the rehearsal - They need to wear appropriate attire or maybe even something specific that fits with your theme or colors. - They need to arrive early and on time on the wedding day. - They need to get ordained How does one become a legal ordained minister? Whomever you choose must get ordained to legally perform a wedding. Christy will be officiating her cousin’s wedding and is using Universal Life Church . ULC is a an online non-denominational, non-profit religious organization. And guess what? You can become ordained in a matter of minutes for free! But be aware that depending on where the ceremony is going to take place, you may need to register with the city or county as well. You can easily look this up here. You need to compensate that special person! It is customary that you, the couple give this special person a thoughtful gift for doing this. Not only that, but if they do not live local to the wedding location, you should offer to pay for their travel costs and hotel. The Ceremony Script: One of the pros is the freedom to write your own script, but it can also be a con because of how hard it is to do and especially if you are asking that of your friend who is officiating. It’s like 10 times as hard as writing your vows. Since Christy is officiating her cousin’s wedding in September, she is asking her cousin to email the story of how they met. What are their favorite books, movies and artists so she can start thinking of ideas of perhaps quotes to put into the ceremony. The couple getting married should create an outline of the order of events for the ceremony script. There are lots of books and articles. Just ask Google if you have questions about the type of ceremony you want whether religious or otherwise. Remember, there MUST to be a place in the ceremony script where you are pronounced married. Here’s an idea to make your life a little easier on the wedding day Some couples choose to take care of the legal part prior to the wedding date. In other words, just the two of you can go to your local courthouse and get legally married. If you do this, you do not have to worry about any legal logistics on your wedding day. Whomever you choose to be your officiant, does not have to be legally ordained and it’s really up to you as to when you celebrate your anniversary. Links we referenced Universal Life Church Dr. Lawrence Krauss Love Wins Texas (the only same-sex wedding magazine). Quotes - “If you think about it, that’s THE most important part of a wedding. You’re not married until you exchange those words and I feel like some couples are super, super into that and some are like you know what, I want it to be really super fast because I want to party… ~Michelle I love it when a couple is really conscientious about what goes into the (ceremony) script and the words that they say… ~Christy We are all children of the same Universe ~ Universal Life Church We need a minister stat! You can park in the red zone! ~Michelle & Christy wondering if you really can park anywhere as an ordained minister if you have the placard hanging from your rear-view mirror. So wait. Does an ordained minister get free parking? If I can get free parking at a meter..I’m gonna get ordained! ~Michelle Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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When will you need beverage service / bar at your wedding? - Cocktail Reception. Most weddings will have a cocktail reception directly after the ceremony and that typically lasts 1 hour. - Dinner. Champagne and wine during dinner, but some couples chose to keep the bar open during dinner as well to allow guests to grab a drink at their leisure. Typically 90 min. - Dancing / After Dinner. After dinner, during dancing - Pre-ceremony: Some couples like to have beverage service available to guests as they are arriving and waiting for the ceremony to start. 2 Types of Bar Service Options - Cash Bar (also known as No Host Bar) - Open Bar (also known as Hosted Bar) Cash Bar (not recommended for weddings) - Guests pay bartender directly for their drinks. Exactly like going out on your own. - If your wedding is at a hotel, you may be charged for a “cashier”, as some hotels do not allow bartenders to handle cash. Open Bar - Drinks are paid for by hosts - 2 Pricing Methods are By Consumption - OR - Per Person - By Consumption The host pays for each drink served or each bottle opened plus tax & gratuity. - Bartender keeps a running tally of number of drinks served.

Per Person The host pays a flat amount for the duration of the event or for each hour, whether or not the guest chooses an alcoholic or non-alcoholic beverage.
This pricing option is typically higher. Why? Because with an open bar, the caterer does not have as much control over consumption and therefore the caterer wants to make sure they are profitable. Most economical Beverage service Beer, Wine and Champagne for the Toast
No hard alcohol
Champagne is only offered at dinner for toasts
The bar is closed during dinner and in addition to champagne toast, you offer wine service during dinner. For a table of 10 guests, you would offer 3 bottles of white and 2 bottles of red
Bar re-opens for dinner until approximately 30 minutes prior to end time.
An add-on to this would be a Signature Drink Rule of Thumb
Average Consumption at a wedding (Open Bar) is typically 2-2.5 drinks per person, per hour
1 bottle of Wine = 3-4 glasses per bottle OR 2-3 guests per bottle (depending on who’s pouring)
1 bottle of Champagne = 6 glasses
1 Keg of beer (15.5 gallons) serves 180 (10 oz glasses) Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Joyce Scardina Becker is a leader in the West Coast wedding industry. She has owned Events of Distinction, a high-end event planning company, for over 20 years. She is the founder and instructor of the only University accredited Wedding Planner Certificate Program offered at California State University East Bay, and she is the founder of WIPA (all links below). She’s also won a ton of industry awards and is the author of ‘Countdown to Your Perfect Wedding’ - the wedding planning bible, as far as Christy and Michelle are concerned. Joyce is a big deal, a mentor and titular pro in the wedding planning industry. We are so stoked that Michelle had the opportunity to crash Joyce’s class, share her story, and chat with Joyce a little! Big Takeaways A wedding planner needs to be organized, pro-active, and friendly...sure. But a GREAT wedding planner - the kind that you want to hire - is educated. Pretty much, anyone can call themselves a wedding planner - it’s not like we have to pass a bar exam. So make sure you hire a planner that has taken the steps to educate his or herself about the wedding industry, about contracts, traditions, etiquette. It’s more than reading a couple wedding magazines, people! Make sure you hire a planner who is planning as a career - not just a hobby. Joyce teaches a certification course, one of the top courses in the world, and her syllabus is THOROUGH. Taking her course set both Michelle and Christy on the right track to be wedding planners and entrepreneurs. The course was absolutely invaluable. Look for a university credential when you are looking to hire your wedding planner. Either a hospitality degree, or a reputable wedding planner certificate program. The one Joyce runs is the only one with university credits - it’s based at California State University, East Bay, and it is now available as an online course as well (which is awesome!). The whole point, according to Joyce, is that a couple hires her because she is a professional, and then they trust her to execute their vision and handle the planning of their wedding. Links we referenced Events of Distinction, Joyce’s main website Cal State Hayward wedding planner certificate course (Michelle and Christy BOTH took this course. And passed with flying colors, of course ;) Wedding International Professionals Association

Countdown to Your Perfect Wedding: From Engagement Ring to Honeymoon, a Week-by-Week Guide to Planning the Happiest Day of Your Life

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Michelle and Christy are wedding planners. Part of being a wedding planner is carrying around a very VERY important clipboard. This clipboard has very important documents on it. A timeline, floorplans, contact list, ceremony layout, and the final details list. What items are you bringing to your wedding? Where do they need to be set up? What do you want back at the end of the night? The Final Details list answers these questions and many more! It’s awesome and informative and has satisfying tiny squares so you can check things off- as you pack them up, and as you set them out on your wedding day. Of course, if you have a planner, she will do the set-up part for you! This episode is about the ITEMS. We have suggestions, reminders and tactics to keep your shit together, literally! Big Takeaways If you are in the middle of planning your wedding, you probably have a pile of stuff that you are collecting for your wedding day. This is normal! We suggest keeping track of everything, writing down an inventory list and checking it twice as you pack everything up the week of your wedding. Don’t forget to list every item that you want back at the end of the night - and where you want these items to end up. Sometimes it’s your mom’s car parked at the venue, sometimes it’s your hotel room. We suggest you delegate someone else to deal with these items at the end of the night if you have a lot. You don’t want to come back to a hotel room filled with leftover food, cake, boxes of unopened beverages, 35 framed table numbers, gifts and cards and randoms odds and ends. That’s not sexy! We run down our basic list - the original template that we both use for wedding days. Looks something like this: (we can’t give away all our insider secrets!) Ceremony Unity Candles w/ holders & fire source (light them all and blow them out) Programs (place 1 on every seat in first row for immediate family) Does the Best Man have the rings? Does the flower girl have her basket with petals / pomander? Does the ring bearer have his pillow w/ fake rings tied to it? You have lots to think about, many items that need to make it from one place to another, and you need a plan in place for how you get all these items back at the end of the night. Our list breaks down items that you may be bringing from home, or some that might be family heirlooms. We also talk about what the florist, rental company, and venue may be responsible for bringing as well...and where on the list you should categorize these items. Links we referenced none Quotes “We are going to teach you something here. This is a learning episode...this is serious!” -Michelle, with a warning to our listeners “This episode is about the final details...those tangible, miscellaneous items. The kind of shit that can get forgotten.” -Michelle, in summary “Happy wedding season, y’all! It’s official!” -Christy, signing off Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Boudoir shoots...what are they? Who does them? Why?? In this episode, Michelle goes ‘behind the scenes’ and hangs out with photographer Michelle Walker and bride Chloe as Chloe bares all (or most) for a sexy, fun boudoir shoot. Chloe shares why she is doing this, and what she is looking forward to...the experience itself is fun and empowering, and the photos will be put together in a special album for her future husband. Big Takeaways Boudoir shoots are as much - if not more - for the woman taking the photos, as they are for the partner who receives the gift. We love this! The delivery of the album - the big gift for your partner - is an event in itself! Chloe plans to give her fiance the naughty album on the morning of the wedding, and they plan on capturing the moment with the wedding videographer. Lasting memories for all! During a boudoir shoot, the photographer directs the poses precisely. The art of reveal is a big part of the experience. Shadows, angles, and lighting are the keys to feeling confident, beautiful and SEXY! We suggest you jump into this with a photographer you trust implicitly, of course. Chloe talks about how on your wedding day, you want to feel beautiful and sexy, and how your photographer helps you feel that way. An engagement shoot is great to get comfortable and practice as a ‘model’, and a boudoir shoot is a fast track to feeling confident and comfortable with your photographer for the wedding day. Plus, it’s practice figuring out what makes you feel great. On another note, Chloe is planning her destination wedding in Mexico and she has a Bay Area planner hired to help her with everything. She ALSO has a travel agent and highly suggests having both on your wedding planning team. Good advice. Links we referenced Chloe Jackman, Bride, Model and Wedding Photographer! Michelle Walker, Wedding Photographer Nikole Elaine, Hair and Makeup Artist Tamara J Events, Event Planner Millers Imaging (for super quality and quick turn around!) Quotes “Nice to meet ya! I like your girls!” - Michelle, upon first meeting Chloe “It is important to be in your body and love your body the way it is. And if you’re marrying the right person...they tell you everyday how beautiful you are so why not capture that and give them that gift. And give yourself that gift!” - Chloe, on why she is doing this! “You DID wax!” - Who knows?! “Do we need to put some lube on the nips?” “#sparklethenips!” - Michelle, if she had a dime for every time she asked this question! Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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This episode is our first of the QUICK FOCUS SERIES. Short episodes where Michelle and Christy focus on small but important parts of the wedding and give you just the info you need to know in 10 minutes or less! The nuts and bolts - just the facts - the stripped down version of wedding planning 101. Think of it like Cliff Notes for your wedding planning process. Michelle and Christy will review just what you need to know for the big test! (Just kidding, there is no test in wedding planning. But there is a wedding at the end of it, and you want to be READY!) Who do you tip? How much do you tip? We review the basic ranges and offer our suggestions for every member of your vendor team – from the tech guy setting up the band’s stage, to the bartender, to the photographer’s assistant schlepping all that heavy equipment around all day. Bottom line: WE RECOMMEND TIPPING! Let’s talk about the numbers, y’all! Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Amanda Lund and Matt Gourley are getting married! They’ve been planning their wedding and they have a lot of awesome advice! They are getting married in a few short weeks and they’re checking in with us at this point in the process...Amanda just had her bridal shower, Matt is busy with woodworking for the wedding reception signage, and we pick their brains about planning, vendors, social media, and what kind of stuff pisses them off...when it comes to the wedding industry. (It may all be a racket, people.) Big Takeaways Matt and Amanda take wedding planning breaks! What? Brilliant. Michelle and Christy think this is very smart. It’s good for mental health. When you have big families, having a shower is a wonderful way for everyone to meet each other before the wedding. Silly games break the ice and can be really fun for multigenerational groups - young and old, everyone loves the toilet paper wedding dress game! (Or they hate it. But they have something in common!) Amanda was surprised by how much she enjoyed the shower...and by how tired she was afterwards. You have to preserve your energy for these events! It’s ok to change your mind. Your initial budget will likely be left behind when you make new decisions and spend a little more money here and there. It’s ok. Roll with it. You can still have your priorities, but you also want to enjoy your day, so if you have decided, after much back and forth, that you actually DO need a DJ...just hire one. You’ll enjoy the day more if you aren’t stressed about a lack of professionals, just to save a little cash. Matt and Amanda didn’t initially think they were going to hire a florist or DJ. They hired both, ultimately. We’ve mentioned this before - but it bears repeating. Your wedding is YOURS. Make up your own rules. Keep the traditions you like, toss out the ones that don’t work for you. Matt and Amanda talk to us about their non-traditional wedding party and why it is just perfect for them. Links we referenced Matt and Amanda’s first episode Margaux The Cat Amanda’s hilarious NEW comedy podcast ‘Complete Joy’ on Stitcher Premium Music by Bonnie Quotes “Turns out, people love wedding stuff! And everyone wanted to come, if they were able to.” - Amanda, surprised at the turn out at her bridal shower “It’s not too rustic, we just wanted people to dress up a little bit, and not wear, like, hoodies.” - Amanda, on the theme of the wedding...it’s outdoors, it’s vintage-y, but it’s still a little fancy, y’all! “What’s wrong with moss?? It’s alive…” - Michelle, digging deep with Christy and her hatred of moss in wedding decor “We have done a tremendous amount ourselves and it’s probably as much, if not more, if you include parts and labor.” - Matt, on the virtues of DIY in your wedding “We decided to hell with it, let’s just do what we want to do.” - Matt, on how they decided to embrace their ‘uneven’ wedding party Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Michelle Walker made it easy on us for this episode - she came with a detailed outline of what she wanted to talk about. A top 10. Yay! Here are her most important tips for your wedding planning: Top 10 Things Wedding Photographers Want to Say to Clients (but usually don’t…) 1) Have a long cocktail hour. 75-90 minutes. So you have time to mingle with your friends and family, and it allows for GREAT candids of the guests. Photographers would much rather shoot candids during this time rather than going to each table during dinner. Who wants pictures of half eaten food in their photos? Also - if you have a lot of family portraits to take after the ceremony, you won’t be able to join cocktail hour AT ALL if you have a short cocktail hour. Why miss out on that fun time with your guests? 2) First Looks (REVEALS) are awesome. More private, and you’re more in control. (Or your photographer is) And you both look more relaxed during the ceremony. Plus, it can be a really special memory, and some of the only time on the wedding day that you are sort of alone with your partner! 3) Allow at least 2 hours for the photographers to hang out and take photos during Hair and Makeup - the Getting Ready portion of the day. Hair and Makeup artists like to work with amazing light...so often times, these can be the most flattering photos of the day. It’s ideal if you can arrange to have a photographer shooting the Getting Ready portion of the day with both partners (typically this means 2 photographers, 2 rooms). 4) Skip the garter and bouquet toss. Or if you decide to do it, embrace the retro vibe! This may be a trend that is coming back...we’ll see 5) HIRE A PLANNER. I mean, do we even have to explain this one? We agree, obvi. 6) Hire a professional hair and makeup stylist...it’s not that much more expensive and it makes for better photographs. This is a photographer, people! She knows what it’s like to retouch shiny faces. Heed her warning! 7) If you can, have your rehearsal dinner 2 nights before your wedding, not the night before. You want to drink, stay up late, catch up with friends...you can’t really party with your friends when you know you have to get up at 6am for hair and makeup. I mean, you can, but it’s not ideal. 8) Plan a private 10-15 minutes with your photographer...maybe sunset, maybe right after dinner. It’s a time to reflect with each other, and it’s a time for the photographer to get amazing, intimate photos of you before you go back in and party and it all goes by so fast. You don’t even know you want this time until you are actually in the moment. 9) Unplug, y’all! Somewhere along the lines, tell your guests to put their phones away. And to let the photographers do their job. It’s a way of reminding everyone how important a wedding day is - and how much you want to just be present with them and enjoy. This is especially important for the ceremony. 10) Buy an album. It’s not cheap, but it’s worth it. Michelle talks about the power of print. We totally agree with her. It’s an heirloom - invest! Michelle Walker also offers her advice for hiring your wedding photographer. Tips: get referrals from your planner or venue, narrow it down to 3-5, meet with your options...make sure that you LIKE the photographer you choose. Make sure you trust them and be happy to just let them do their job. When should you hire a wedding photographer? Michelle Walker recommends 9-12 months out. Why is wedding photography SO DAMN EXPENSIVE? Experience costs. Wedding photography is a very specific skill...it’s an emotional day. It can’t be redone.The photographer should have expensive gear. Also, self employed business people have a ton of additional costs to take on. Keep in mind that every wedding takes around 40 hours in post production, according to Michelle. Basically, there are a lot of costs to doing business. Sometimes, you get what you pay for. Keep that in mind when looking for the perfect wedding photographer for your wedding. Getting all the vital information to the photographer is extremely important. Full timeline. Full list of VIPs, wedding party, family members, all your wedding vendors, your formal portrait shot-list, your special wedding details, and let your photographer know if there is some drama that might come up. If you have a great wedding planner - they’ll let the photographer know all of this. PS- make sure you leave a little time in the wedding day for the photographer to eat. The best time is usually when all the guests are eating. Links we referenced Michelle Walker on Instagram Michelle Walker's website Westin St Francis, SF website Sunrise/Sunset calendar that Michelle and Christy use for every timeline Quotes “Having a planner was worth every single penny. My husband and I were guests at our wedding, and that’s the way it should be.” - Michelle Walker, wedding photographer “These are all the things we have always wanted to say to you guys, so thank you for giving me the chance!” - Michelle Walker, wedding photographer “The two of you need to go on a sunset walk with me.” - Michelle Walker, wedding photographer, on the merits of taking a moment on your wedding day “Do an album, they’re amazing. Ours are made in Italy, they’re so sexy.” - Michelle Walker “9 times out of 10, you’ll have no idea that I’m taking your picture and that’s how I like it. Relax and have fun, that’s when you’re at your best.” - Michelle Walker “My job is to create photographs that make you laugh, cry and remember everything when you look at them. Your job is to have the best day of your life.” - Michelle Walker - her mission statement, from the heart Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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We’ve been doing a lot of interviews and heavy informative stuff on the podcast lately, so we needed to circle back to the fun we have doing this show together as co-hosts! Not that interviews aren’t fun - because they definitely are, but we miss each other! In this episode, we love on each other, and we love on you, our dear listeners and fans! Join us for some laughs, some Spanish lessons, and we hope you can hear our smiles as we read some of your emails to us, and some reviews! Big Takeaways We’re global! People are downloading our podcast in Mexico, Australia and all over Europe. Weddings! Everyone loves ‘em. You love us, you really love us! A couple reviewers mentioned how informative and FUN we are. Aw shucks, y’all. You sure know how to make two wedding planners feel special. Some listener questions we addressed: - How do we, as wedding planners, feel about a loose wedding day timeline...one that doesn’t have micro-events happening… Pros and Cons! We discuss them. - Is it imperative that I have a PROFESSIONAL planner for my wedding day? Michelle and Christy address the non-professional ‘day of’ planner...we have mixed feelings about this. But as always, we come back to our one truth here on TBWPP...this is YOUR wedding. You do you. (At your own risk.) - We revisit the cake cutting question...Is it ok to have a small ‘display cake’ on the dessert buffet, one that we cut, but do not serve? Michelle and Christy disagree a little on this one! Exciting stuff! Here’s whats coming up in the next few weeks Michelle’s interview with Michelle Walker, wedding photographer Michelle’s interview with Kathy Newby, Abbey Party Rentals Christy’s interview with her BFF Lauren - Lauren is a bride and the wedding is SOON! Michelle and Christy touch base with Matt and Amanda - our awesome podcasting engaged couple...their wedding is coming up soon too and they have lots of wedding planning wisdom to share Hair and Makeup Timeline - hints and necessities Wedding DIYs...what works, what doesn’t Breaking down the Wedding Day Setup List Social Media - Ah! Twitter...we need a twitter miracle. Christy is STILL looking for it. Every damn day. Follow us on twitter. Comment! Retweet! Links we referenced Our website! Specifically our profile page, which includes pictures of us. Our host - Fireside It’s a podcasting platform for and by podcasters. We love it! Quotes “This is by far the best wedding planning podcast I’ve listened to.” - Boom! This is from a listener! Pugmaster! “This person’s handle is ‘One Very Satisfied User’” “That is the same title I gave on the review I just wrote for a vibrator I bought on Amazon. One VERY satisfied user.” - Christy bought a vibrator. What? “Your ability to relax and enjoy your wedding day is paramount...if you go into it with a positive attitude and you are determined to enjoy your day, you probably will!” - Christy, on just making the decision to be HAPPY “Screw you, I did not say Spanish Dancers!” - Michelle. If she had a dime for every time she has to say that sentence! “There’s no rule that says you have to cut into a cake. You can even have popcorn balls. Everybody likes a good popcorn ball.” - Michelle. I guess we know at least 1 person who loves popcorn balls! Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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In the San Francisco Bay Area, you won’t find a shortage when looking for a wedding DJ, but one company looms large on the wedding horizon - Denon and Doyle. In this interview, Michelle talks to owner Sue Doyle, manager and DJ Mark Haggerty and DJ and office manager Mark Addison about their experiences ‘in the field’. They have an amazing team of professional DJ’s and include supplementary services like lighting, photo booths, AV and even childcare for events. Also - virtual reality! What?! Big Takeaways -Customer Service is TOPS. Accessibility for their clients is a priority. If you are a Denon and Doyle client, your questions are going to be answered and you will be treated professionally throughout the process. There is no room for EGO when you are a DJ backed by a big company like Denon and Doyle. We, as wedding planners, LOVE this. -Most of the Djs at Denon and Doyle have not been professional DJs for a long time before working for the company. Sue mentions that bad habits are hard to break and they like to train their Djs in the Denon and Doyle way. No Cheese-balls here people. -Sue’s #1 tip for engaged couples planning their wedding? Go into the company’s studio. Meet the DJs. See how the company is run. Does the DJ, or the company, have a client portal that you can utilize to input all the songs that you want and don’t want? Will the DJ go over the wedding day timeline with you? Is the equipment updated and upgraded? Are they insured (the answer needs to be yes!)? Is it possible to test drive a fancy dance floor or a photobooth? Denon and Doyle says YES to all of these questions. -Virtual Reality sounds pretty cool on a podcast. But it’s SUPER COOL to do it for real. Michelle virtually kicks papaya butt on Fruit Ninja. Links we referenced Denon & Doyle Website Denon and Doyle on Facebook Quotes - “I brought the female piece to this business. There are so many male-run DJ companies out there, and I don’t know that they can actually connect as well…” - Sue Doyle “It’s a common worry. Because...the DJ has the microphone and they could say anything. And they are representing you as the host, at your own wedding. So you want someone that represents you well.” - Sue Doyle “We’re not cheesy. We don’t have a strong ego. It’s not about us...this is your day and it’s about what you want.” - Sue Doyle - this is what wedding planners all look for in a DJ or DJ company! “In doing this for 20 years, it is really cool for me to find that I can still be wowed by things. It’s one of the things I’ve always loved about mobile Dj-ing.” - Addison - describing his awesome experiences as a wedding DJ, including a Harry Potter themed wedding! Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Becca Ashmon is one of Christy’s go-to makeup artists in Dallas/Fort Worth. In this episode, Christy interviews her and they talk about how Becca got into the industry, why being a makeup artist (MUA) is not for the faint of heart, how personality absolutely matters, and what brides can do to find the perfect MUA for their wedding day. Also, Becca shares her favorite makeup brands, and we talk about the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and drag queens because OF COURSE WE DO. Big Takeaways From the world of high school and college theater, to the rooms of a sorority house pre-formal, to photographer’s assistant...Becca has HUSTLED since she was a teenager honing her craft. She talks about how ongoing education is imperative, and how she never turns down the opportunity to learn from someone she looks up to. Becca is like a walking advertisement for sorority connections. By doing makeup for sorority sisters and friends for years, she curated a built-in client base. She talked about how much relationship building matters in this industry...which we totally agree about! If you are a bride looking for a MUA - you should absolutely do a trial and make sure that you LOVE her personality, and that you feel really great being around! And of course, you should love your face when you are in her capable hands. For women of color, Becca has found several brands that she relies on for herself and for her clients: Becca Cosmetics available at Sephora and Ulta - big range of colors Lancome foundation MakeUp Forever matte velvet - best for oily skin (and what Becca uses for herself) Armani (if you can afford it!) The ‘Smoky Eye’ - everyone wants it right now. But do we really even know what it is? The answer is most likely, no. It doesn’t mean black...and Becca explains how it’s more of a technique, involving fading. Look for a MUA that can do TIMELESS, classic makeup. Becca uses the example of Celine Dion on her wedding day - her makeup stands the test of time. You don’t want to be able to pinpoint the decade by the look of your wedding makeup. Do whats perfect FOR YOU. Drag Queens. Christy and Becca totally bond over their love and respect for these professionals. Links we referenced www.babeautytx.com - Becca’s website! https://www.instagram.com/babeautytx/ - Becca on Instagram https://www.scottbarnes.com - Body Makeup by Scott Barnes - Becca LOVES his body makeup. And he’s Erika Jayne’s makeup artist and we LOVE Erika Jayne Quotes “Quality Products are important - there are quality products for 8$ and there are quality products that are 80$... Until the day I die, L’oreal Voluminous in Carbon Black, until forever.” Becca, when Christy pushed her for her favorite budget mascara “If a client can’t see themselves in your body of work, they aren’t going to hire you.” - Becca, on why diversity in your portfolio is super important “Don’t spend $1000 on your shoes and then $50 on your makeup. Your shoes will be in 1 picture. Your face will be in every single one.” - Becca, truth “If most people watched me do my own makeup, they would say it’s ‘Drag Level’ makeup. And let me be very clear: it is. It is. I was a theater kid!” -Becca, who explains that her face can take it “I do spend a lot of time at Target and watching Bravo. More than anyone probably should” - Becca, Priorities Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Big Takeaways Michelle nails another awesome interview! This time, she channels Jerry Seinfeld - driving around town with Nancy, interviewing her for the podcast while they wander the East Bay streets. Nancy Liu Chin is a big time florist in the SF Bay Area, she has been in the biz for 15 years. She is sharing her wisdom, experience and passion for flowers and the wedding industry in this interview. Nancy made the conscious decision to find her path in the event design industry and landed on flowers. And thank goodness! Because we think her work is simply amazing. So is her work ethic, and her business sense and her personal style - so listen and enjoy! Starting her business as a florist, Nancy knew that her flowers had to anchor the overall look. She was inspired by Stanlee Gatti, an SF legend Expectations! They can be crazy in the wedding planning world - with Pinterest, and Style Me Pretty, and wedding magazines galore...it’s easy to get wrapped up in a bunch of images that you want to replicate exactly. Nancy gives her advice about how to approach creative vendors and allow yourself to trust them. Your mindset going into the design process can make all the difference. Budget. You need a dose of realism when you approach your budget and your vision for your wedding. Nancy Liu Chin talks about the unattainable, and how to be inspired and budget conscious...and still design a gorgeous wedding. When a vendor asks you what your budget is for their service/products - tell them! This sets a very helpful parameter - and being upfront and honest is the best policy here, so you don’t go down a road that you have to walk back later. Also - the first question you should as a vendor that you are interested in is “Are you available? That needs to be asked even before you talk about your budget. Lessons Learned and look Behind-the-Scenes - Nancy shares some of the insane installations she has done, and how logistics are a HUGE part of a florist’s job. What a cool job, amiright?! Here’s a tidbit - sometimes amahhhhhhzing floral walls are a combination of real flowers and silk flowers. And there are plenty of reasons for this. Let Nancy tell you. Links we referenced Nancy Liu Chin Website Stanlee Gatti Website Quotes “Thank God to the rental industry, they have really changed what it means to have a beautiful, reachable wedding and event.” - Nancy on elevating the floral design, and overall design of your event “For anyone out there that thinks this is the career for them - just go for it! That’s my advice, just go for it.” - Nancy, business advice from a passionate pro “If you are a couple planning a wedding, your mindset needs to be in the right place. And often, your expectation of an image to reality...it may not always translate. Don’t freak out.” - Nancy, on managing expectations with your wedding “You have to go with your gut, you have to go with someone you click with, that you feel comfortable with and that is being authentic.” - Michelle, dropping the best vendor-hunting advice Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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In this episode, we reminisce about some of the funny/awkward/crazy stories from weddings we have done. Between the two of us, we have about 20 years of weddings under our belts. Remember - sometimes it isn’t funny during or right afterward, but in a year, it could be a hilarious story you tell at Thanksgiving! Having a sense of humor about life is imperative. We hope you enjoy listening to this episode - we sure did enjoy recording it! Big Takeaways Hey, sometimes things don’t go according to plan! Yes, it’s true and as wedding PLANNERS, we can attest to this. These stories are about the times that issues were addressed behind the scenes, or serious moments that were interrupted by some unexpected levity, or misunderstandings that will be really funny later in life, In certain cultures or families, half of the people are ALWAYS late. Usually we all know who these people are and we love them anyway. Several of the ‘funny stories’ have to do with the late guests...what they miss, why they were late, what they interrupt when they arrive, just generally how clueless people can be. If you have family members and friends like this...tell them the ceremony starts 45 minutes before it actually does! Some wedding traditions and parts of the day are an absolute liability. (Horah! Anything with fire! Live animals! Kids in general!) That doesn't mean you shouldn’t do them! It just means that you need to be cautious. Or tell someone else to be cautious for you (like your wedding planner…) Wardrobe Emergencies! We’ve hemmed pants on groomsmen, we’ve dealt with two left feet - or shoes, repaired completely malfunctioning wedding dress zippers, and sewn more than a handful of buttons - this is why your wedding planner will have a heavy emergency bag on site to Be prepared and get it together! Once the dancing gets really going, guests are hammered and the older people have left...these late hours of a wedding are the funniest. After a few cocktails, everyone is an amazing dancer. Sometimes the photographer has left by this time...which is ok. ;) Links we referenced none Quotes - “I’m told all the time that I should write a book about weddings. But it feels like it would be 80% truth and 20% fiction because I would have to add embellishments, you know?” - Christy “It is so hard to put a corsage on a women. You have to go through the bra strap. Yes. I’m reaching in there, my hands are cold and I’m feeling these women up.” - Christy and Michelle agree. Nice to meet you! “I don’t know exactly how this happened, it reminds me a little bit of Nipple-Gate, but it was not a nipple. Her dress flies up over her head. And there you go. She is flashing the whole wedding. Underwear. She had underwear on. And it didn’t just happen for a second…” -Michelle - The Horror. “I was like, what is wrong with you guys? You are adult men! With jobs! And three out of five of you can’t get your shit together? Awesome.” -Christy, when 3 groomsmen had issues with their wedding outfits Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Michelle is sick and Christy has a fat lip - but we will carry on! It’s been awhile since our podcast has gotten back to it’s roots...so to speak. We have been dissecting the WEDDING DAY TIMELINE, in our recent 3 piece mini-series, and Michelle recently interviewed Maria Chang, which was inspirational and insightful. We’ve just been craving a lighter, chatty chat, and we needed to catch up with each other! So here is what we threw around in this episode: Big Takeaways The Real Housewives...we have decided that house-husband PK is no good. But we love you, Boy George! How are we feeling about our podcast thus far?? Pretty great! How are YOU feeling about our podcast?? Please let us know. We love interacting with our listeners and we will try to answer all your quick questions on twitter and Facebook and beyond! Heck, we may even address your questions on the podcast! Why are we doing the podcast? Because we love talking about weddings and we love talking to each other and one could argue that we both just love talking! And talking about something that we are knowledgeable and passionate about is pretty awesome. Knowing that people are listening and have found our advice helpful...big bonus! We feel grateful and we are having a great time! In this episode, we talk a little about our process, and our progress. Weddings we are working on and networking we are doing: We’re busy wedding planners - with Michelle pounding the pavement in the Bay Area (her winter home for now), and with ties to Boston...about to head to Mexico, and Christy doing weddings in Dallas/Fort Worth...we almost have the country covered! Also, we talk about how Open Houses can be really helpful with your wedding planning. Here’s whats coming up: Michelle’s interview with Michelle Walker, wedding photographer Michelle’s interview with Nancy Liu Chin, florist Michelle’s interview with Kathy Newby, Abbey Party Rentals SF Christy’s interview with Becca Ashmon, BA Beauty, Makeup Artist Michelle’s interview with DJ Company Denon and Doyle Wedding Planner Funny Stories Hair and Makeup Timeline - hints and necessities Wedding DIYs...what works, what doesn’t Breaking down the Wedding Day Setup List Social Media - Ah! Twitter...we need a Twitter miracle. Christy is looking for it. Every damn day. @TBWPpodcast And...here are some listener questions we addressed: “The wedding is in 2 months and the caterer is MIA - are we doomed?” - hint, NO! “Should we let our wedding party bring PLUS ONES even if we don’t want random people at our wedding?” - this answer is complicated. Let’s discuss. Black Tie vs Black Tie Optional Links we referenced Our website! Specifically our profile page, which includes pictures of us. http://www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/hosts Quotes “I’ve done weddings where the bride and groom had to rent - no joke - a Uhaul to give me all the items they wanted to set up...this is crazy. All that stuff for one day.” Christy, on setting up. It’s a spectrum. “Open Houses can be a really great way for couples to get to know a bunch of vendors at one time. And not just go to a table and pick up a business card, but also to talk to the person that’s there, like really get to know them a little bit. It’s a unique opportunity in two hours to get to know 20 vendors and then maybe you hire someone that you met that night.” Christy, on the virtues of a venue Open House - a ‘live preferred vendor list’ “You’re like the kid who transferred schools as a freshman and then came back as a senior and now you’re like, I’m back Bitches! What’s up?” - Christy, on Michelle’s triumphant return to the SF Bay Area wedding industry “This journey has been awesome with you, man. And also - we’re starting to get some people! Tweeting us and emailing us and commenting and we’re hearing from you guys and it feels great….and we sincerely do appreciate you.” Michelle, getting sentimental about our podcasting days together Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: www.thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Big Takeaways Logistics...Contract review...Vendor policies! This part is, admittedly, not the most fun part of wedding planning. Which is why it’s a feat that Christy and Michelle managed to make talking about it FUN. Or at least we tried. This is part 3 of 3 - TIMELINES. Part 1 - Framing. The Main Events. Part 2 - Fun! The Micro Events. Part 3 - Plugging in the rest. We break down all the ‘little’ details that will flesh out and complete your final day-of timeline. Here is the list of logistics that we reviewed and dissected: - Vendor Arrival Times - Vendor Strike Times - When can you arrive at the venue? - When will your guests arrive at the venue? - Where are you getting ready? - Transportation. It can get very complicated if you are dealing with multiple pick ups, more than one shuttle bus, and tight schedules. What is a spot time? We’ll talk about it. Don’t forget buffer time! - Getting Ready - Hair and Makeup Schedule - Is your photographer going to capture ‘getting ready’ time? - Make sure you eat! - Venue Policies - make sure you vacate the premises according to contract - allow time for this process if necessary. - How is the wedding party, family and VIPs getting to the venue(s)? - Be responsible. Include ‘last call’ in your timeline. And be familiar with the parking policy at the venue - can guests leave cars there if they are too drunk to drive home? Is a taxi or Uber available? Getting the word out - You need to send your vendors and venue manager your timeline and you need to do this with enough time for them to review it, and get back to you with questions or necessary adjustments. One change by one vendor can affect the timeline for everyone else, so you’ll send out a semi-final version and then make changes and then send out a FINAL-FINAL version. Hey! Remember, this part is detailed and might get a little frustrating, especially the transportation part. (A great wedding planner can help with this!) And when you are done with your timeline - frame it! Just kidding. But you should let yourself revel in it a little. You did it and now it’s time to enjoy the big day You’ve figured it all out. Now let the pros handle it. Who, what, when, where. Include full addresses. The timeline is the map and the instructions, and you will give it to vendors and they’ll have to find their own way on the wedding day. Be detailed, and write everything down in a clear and concise way. Links we referenced none Quotes “You do at some point have to let the pros take it and run with it.” - Christy - this is the goal for creating a timeline! “It’s very satisfying knowing how the day is going to flow, and the feel of it...once you have the main components of the timeline, it really tells a story.” - Michelle, describing the joys of wedding planning! “Any way you slice it, the timeline is important, and putting in these final numbers, based on the contracts that you’ve signed and based on transportation...these things will flesh out your timeline.” - Christy, any way you slice it “Better safe than sorry. Always put in a 10-15 minute buffer in your travel. That way, if the bus is 5 minutes late, and it leaves 5 minutes late, you have the buffer time in your wedding day schedule.” - Michelle, the buff buffer Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Big Takeaways THE AMERICAN DREAM! Maria Chang came to the USA back in 1986, as an 11 year old child refugee from Nicaragua. Maria has been a professional make-up artist for over 20 years. This is a bit of a departure from our normal show, but it was too good not to put out there. Yes, you will gain some make-up tips for your wedding day, but that is not all. In this episode, you will hear a hard-working, motivated, strong, intelligent, entrepreneurial, woman tell her story. Oh and we PROMISE, next week to bring you Part 3 of our 3 part Wedding Timeline Series. We just couldn't wait for you to hear this one!! Links we referenced Maria's Company: PMA Raphael House - Resources & support for homeless families Nordstrom Neiman Marcus Bobbie Brown Cosmetics Laura Mercier Cosmetics Estee Lauder Cosmetics Guerlain Cosmetics Quotes -“As a refugee family, we had to work from day 1 and I haven't stopped since." - Maria Chang "It's amazing to be living in this country. It's something that I don't take for granted. I remind myself every day of how lucky I am to be here" - Maria Chang "Just don't cover up superficially, care about the woman and actually cater to her beauty needs" - Maria Chang, still believes in the same philosophy she was taught by Bobbi Brown "Using (make-up) as an accessory versus using it to cover up your personality or cover up your insecurities" - Maria Chang "If things are not going your way, you've got to trusty that there is a better alternative and there's a better option ahead." - Maria Chang "If you're so deep in your sorrow because things are not going your way, you're not going to see those doors opening." - Maria Chang "I love the idea of coming in and making it like a slumber party where the ladies are getting ready and for a moment forget that it's their wedding day and just have fun as girls." - Maria Chang on why she believes a bride should never have to go to a salon on her big day "I am an artist because my clients provide me that lifestyle, so the least I can do is give them the best possible wedding day. I become like an honorary bridesmaid" - Maria Chang "Every single wedding, when it comes to cake time, I always have the lipstick ready, but that's all I can do. I can't fix the eyes, I can't powder you..." - Michelle conveying why she love's that Maria stays with their clients until the end of the party Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Big Takeaways Special dances, toasts, thoughtfully selected song choices… Do you want to toss a bouquet? Should that be done before or after the cake cutting? Let’s figure this out! In Part 1, it was the frame and now, in this episode, we start to add some color - some fun - some personality - to the timeline. We dive into what we refer to as the MICRO EVENTS - the part of the wedding that make your day all about you. Here is the list of MICRO EVENTS that we review and dissect: - Receiving Line - First Dance - Toasts (Check out our Toasts episode!) - Cake Cutting - some guests will leave right after you serve the cake - you will need to allot about 30 minutes from when you cut the cake until it’s served - coffee service is usually set up during this time as well - Father Daughter Dance / Mother Son Dance - Sometimes these two are combined into one - we suggest cutting the song to about 2 minutes long! - Money Dance - never seen one that was less than 15 minutes - review the logistics of the money dance with your planner and/or dj - Anniversary Dance - Horah! - Choreographed Dance - Bouquet Toss - Garter Toss - Last Dance - Last Dance - private - Farewell How long do each of these micro events typically take? What is the order of these events? Remember - there are no rules for weddings anymore - it’s all a suggestion. Enlist the advice of the professionals you hire as your vendor team. Think about other weddings you have been to as a guest. What did you like? What did you think was boring, or didn’t work logistically? Think about what is important to you and your partner and do your thing! Announcements help guide the party - the DJ or Emcee facilitates the order of events. You are the one that gives your DJ the order of events and he/she should work from your timeline. Confirm this with him (or her) the week before the wedding! Don’t forget to keep some buffer time in your timeline - allot 5 minutes per toast, and 5 minutes for each special dance, even if you don’t think they will take this long. Links we referenced none Quotes “A good timeline will inform your vendor team, and your wedding party, and your parents, and anybody that asks you a random-ass question the week of the wedding...like your cousin who just can’t figure out when the shuttle arrives at the hotel.” - Christy, on the virtues of a good f-ing timeline “I love wedding dancing. As we get older, weddings are the only place we can dance in a crowd of people. I don’t go out to ‘da clubs’ anymore.” - Christy “I do! I went to the Castro last weekend and danced.” - Michelle “Good for you.” - Christy Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Big Takeaways Spreadsheets. Live them, love them. Don’t fight them! We break down our basic techniques for drafting your initial wedding day timeline - the rows, the columns, the hints and tricks. Rome wasn’t built in a day, people! The Wedding Day Timeline takes time...little by little, it all comes together....in a spreadsheet. :) Who, what, when, where...getting all this info into a timeline makes it really easy for you to answer questions that your vendors will ask you the weeks leading up to the wedding. You’ve already done the work - now you can systematically pass it on. The first thing to input into your timeline is the basic MAIN EVENTS - these frame out the entire thing, and you plug everything else in around these events. Ceremony, Cocktail Hour, Reception, Last Dance. Boom. You will put together a vendor team and they should be able to help you create this timeline. If you have any questions about how long something usually takes, or what a ‘typical’ order is - ask your vendors. Enter in arrival times as you figure them out. When/where is the wedding party arriving? The parents? Guests? Vendor arrival times will probably be entered later in the planning process, as you work out the details with them. Sometimes the exact times for vendors aren’t set in stone until a few weeks before the wedding. Links we referenced none Quotes “Excel sorta turns you on a little bit. All those boxes just waiting to be filled with formulas...so hot.” - Christy, while Michelle sexily whispers yes-yes-yes in the background “I’ll be honest. As I get older, I have been known to throw out a 1000 piece puzzle on the dining room table.” - Michelle. “I can’t not believe you do puzzles!” - Christy “You got this. You can handle this. Keep it simple. On wedding days, people tend to pull it together. Everyone is working for the greater good on the wedding day and that is YOU and your fiance and your giant life event. Weddings magically come together.” - Christy and her timeline pep talk Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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The way to a wedding guest’s heart is through their stomach. The reception typically makes up 50-60% of your overall wedding budget. Let’s talk about how that money gets spent on food! Big Take Aways - What are some different ways to cater your wedding? We delve into the options and the pros and cons. In-house catering, outside catering, or a preferred list of caterers. Let us help you figure that out. Should you have a plated meal, a buffet, or perhaps the currently trendy action stations? The prices may be surprisingly close and you need to consider logistics like guest count, room size, and your overall timeline. Our caterer friend (and Michelle’s little cousin) Christina Bushby, offers an insider’s opinion on the current trends she is seeing with catering: succulents and natural accents in the display of food, action stations, awesome late night snacks, and she told us that if you want to cut a little out of the food budget, add carbs! Everyone loves a bread bowl on the table! Apple watches are awesome. But they can easily be stolen and hacked! And there is no ‘find my watch’ feature. Trust Christy on this one. Links we referenced Paula Le Duc Fine Caterting Catering http://www.paulaleduc.com Episode Quotes “We strongly discourage, as wedding planners, having any sort of DIY when it comes to catering…Like my aunt makes tamales in her kitchen and they’re really amazing” “She really does.” -Christy and Michelle on Auntie’s tamales and how they shouldn’t be your wedding reception meal. Catering a wedding is far different than your family feasts. “I feel like a buffet is more successful if you have a high guest count, because the food is hot.” -Christy, who wants her steak rare and her mashed-potatoes hot please “We get a lot of questions about how to save money, and we can’t tell you how to save money unless you tell us how important the food is to you!” –Christy “Let’s eat real quick, give them some energy, some nutrition, some nourishment, and let’s party.” –Michelle, on priorities! “You can’t eat and talk at the same time! You want to make sure your lipstick looks good.” –Michelle, truth. (We encourage you, as the couple getting married, to EAT at your wedding reception.) Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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When wedding planners put down the clipboard and join the wedding party! Christy is moonlighting as MAID OF HONOR for her best friend and it’s weird to be on the other side of things. In this episode, Michelle and Christy talk MOH duties, dresses, and standing up for your girl when you don’t live anywhere near her. Big Takeaways - What does the MOH take on, typically? Listen and learn. The job of Maid of Honor starts the day you accept the job. Embrace it! It’s an honor to be a Maid of Honor, for sure. But it’s also expensive! A MOH spends money on a dress, travel, hosting showers and bachelorette parties, a gift, maybe hair and makeup… Remember - this means a lot to your dear friend, so our advice is - suck it up, buttercup. And we say that lovingly. Giving a toast - this is a big one. There are no rules for exactly who gives a toast anymore...but at almost every wedding the MOH and the Best Man give toasts during the reception. Christy is working on her toast now...keeping notes as they occur to her on her phone. The Bride is the center of attention on the wedding day. So if you aren’t in love with your dress - whether you got to pick it or not - don’t sweat it. It’s not about you! Christy’s dress compliments her best friend’s wedding dress. And that is the way it should be! Another job of the MOH is to keep the bride relaxed, and to run interference on any family drama. The biggest part of the job is loving and supporting the bride! Links we referenced Maid of Honor duties...here are some good blog posts about it: The Knot Maid of Honor Duties in Detail Wedding Paper Divas - MOH Duties Befor, During & After The Ceremony Dessy Group - online shop for bridesmaids dresses Quotes - “I envision this being the tribal meeting of the women, the matriarchs to sort of bestow our marital wisdom upon Lauren. Ultimately I think it will be a bunch of ladies in dresses getting tossed at 11:00 in the morning. But in that hammered state, we will drop some serious wisdom.” - Christy, on her bridal shower vision “The more you drink, the better advice you give. Let’s be honest.” - Michelle, speaking the truth, as we do “I am going to have to practice the toast a LOT so I don’t ugly cry...I’ll definitely cry.” - Christy, such a big baby Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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You are going to LOVE cake celebrity Lauren Kitchens! If you heard our Pilot episode and the mention of "fake" wedding cakes, you're going to want to listen to this one. Lauren is the owner of Fancy Cakes by Lauren, in Dallas Texas. Lauren has been featured on the Food Network several times and happens to be a dear friend of Christy's. In this episode, Lauren and Christy talk about the ins and outs of wedding cakes, how to find the baker you want to work with, how much you can expect to spend, logistics of cutting the cake and why cakes remain an important part of the wedding day. Big Takeaways Listen in as Christy & Lauren sit down in the 'recording studio' (aka Christy's Master Bedroom closet) and talk about the world of wedding cakes. Lauren has been baking cakes professionally for over 10 years. Being on TV isn’t necessarily the height of your career. Building a business that prioritizes the client experience and values quality over quantity is far more successful in the long run. Lauren Kitchens proves that every day with Fancy Cakes. Grooms Cakes! Dude, where’s my cake? Grooms Cakes in the South -- a tradition that is not going anywhere. From simple chocolate cakes with chocolate covered strawberries (how retro!) to cake sculptures of bass fish and college football stadiums...the Grooms Cakes are here to stay and in Lauren’s world, they are getting more and more over the top - even costing more than the extravagant wedding cake in many instances. Check out her Instagram page to see these works of art! Fake Cakes. Or fake tiers. It’s a thing, deal with it. Sometimes a fake cake is necessary when the design of the cake can’t be supported by good old fashioned flour and water. Sometimes a fake tier is necessary to support the weight of 200 orchids stabbed into it by a florist. Sometimes Lauren makes wedding cakes that are 6’ tall and all fake. She’s an artist, I tell you! An artist! Links we referenced - Fancy Cakes Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fancycakesbylauren/ - Lauren’s website http://fancycakesbylauren.com - Lauren’s TV appearance (muppet) http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/FoodNetworkChallenge Quotes - "You're going to spend (thousands of dollars) on a cake! Put a pin-spot on it. Otherwise the cake is in the corner on time-out...like it's being punished and no one's ever gonna' see it" - Lauren Kitchens - “I ended up doing great work. It was huge...I was able to build up a name and it helped with building my craft. The shows like Food Network Challenge, it created a demand with the client to want sculpted cakes. I’m like, I can do it!” - Lauren Kitchens, on her career, between TV competitions and her work - “What’s important to me is human connection and that is what is important to the brides because this is a very emotional buy for them! They’re buying their wedding cake!” - Lauren - “Average wedding, 175-200 guests, Texas average, y’all…average cake price is about $1200 dollars, and that would include a modest Grooms Cake. If it’s a sculpted grooms cake, you’ll spend double or triple the wedding cake.” - Lauren - “Narrow it down to two or three bakeries, don’t go to more than that (cause you’ll forget), go in and get a general idea of pricing. They really need to ask you, does this fit into your budget? And tell them! Don’t just scratch it. This could be the right cake for you and they might be able to make it work.” - Lauren, on how you can find the right cake and the right baker Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com Special Guest: Lauren Kitchens.

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So….who is supposed to give a toast at your wedding? What are the rules? Are there rules? In this episode, Christy and Michelle discuss the toasts, which by the way is Christy’s very favorite part of a wedding. #maketoastsgreatagain Big Takeaways Typically, you have a welcome toast or blessing. Then, sometime during dinner, the Best Man and Maid of Honor give toasts. At cake cutting, the couple themselves might want to give a toast to say thank you to their guests. But...as always, we emphasize that ‘typical’ might not be for you! -A new trend with gay weddings is a toast during the ceremony. So fun! -Remember - it’s a toast, not a roast! Oh, and 5 minutes is a looooong time to talk. -If there is someone that you definitely DON’T want to give a toast at your wedding, make sure you tell your planner, or if you don’t have a planner, tell your DJ or emcee to be vigilant with the mic. -People can toast with whatever they are drinking. Champagne is nice, but not a total necessity. Links we referenced We didn't Quotes “I have a confession to make. I eat a LOT of fast food. I probably have fast food -- my ears are burning because I am so filled with shame -- 4-5 times a week.” - Christy. Confessing her fast food addiction to Michelle (It took us a while to get around to actually talking about toasts. We were catching up!) “When else in your life are you going to be in a room where people are going to stand up and tell you how much they love you? Your funeral. That’s it. ...I’m of the mind that the more people that want to toast, the better. Let’s just figure out the best way to time it all out.” - Christy. We told you she LOVES toasts! “Good rule of thumb. Whoever is hosting the event - they are the ones that give the welcome toast.” - Michelle. See, sometimes we have easy-peasy real-world advice! Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com****

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"Let’s talk about gifts, baby - Let’s talk about you and me - Let’s talk about all the good things...Salt n Pepa? Anyone? Ok. In this episode, Christy and Michelle talk about the wedding registry. Where to register, how to register, what’s new in the world of wedding registries, our advice, our experiences and our favorite wedding gifts. Listen to this episode and learn all about wedding gifts, from couple, to guest, to planner. Big Takeaways If you want to register for gifts, there are MANY options available. We recommend registering at a ‘traditional’ store like Target or Crate and Barrel, especially if you have a bunch of older guests coming (ages 50 and above). Your relatives want to get you something that you want, but they want to go about getting it their way! Your guests may also want to bring an actual gift, rather than have it delivered to you ahead of time. Most stores offer an incentive when you register with them, and offer a discount on whatever you don’t end up getting as a gift. Amazon Prime offers a pretty good deal too. Michelle and Christy should be sponsored by the stores we mention more than 3 times in an episode. DO YOU HEAR US, ZOLA AND CRATE AND BARREL? Omg - how much do we love those nesting bowls?! Write thank you notes for your wedding gifts! It’s just the right thing to do, y’all. Links we referenced Online places to register: - Zola - Millennials love this site. Michelle and I are big fans, it’s an impressive set-up. - Honeyfund - Amazon - I Do Foundation - JustGive Stores we love and mentioned: - Crate and Barrel - Anthropologie - Target Quotes “If you don’t have a wedding registry, you are taking the risk of getting some crazy tacky gifts.” - Michelle, bottom line. “The truth is: that little gun thing that you get to use when you register, it’s really fun.” - Christy, about the only gun she likes: a gift registry gun. “Nesting bowls encapsulate everything you are...it’s the one single item that best defines Michelle Martinez.” - Christy, describing her dear friend and co-host Michelle Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Michelle and Christy tackle kids on this episode. Not literally, of course. We seldom actually tackle kids, but if you end up having a bunch of kids at your wedding and they ruin everything, you may want to tackle a couple of them. On the flip side, kids are awesome and may just take your big ‘ol family wedding from fun to AMAZING, so let’s dish about it...as we do! Big Takeaways There are several ways to make it clear to your invitees that you don’t want kids at your wedding Put it on the invitation and the wedding website. Enlist the MOMS, tell your moms and tell them to spread the word. You are not obligated to entertain the kids at your wedding - but if you can, we suggest you do. Provide kids meals, pay for event sitters to chill with the kids in an adjacent room. Set up a special table with customized baskets filled with crayons and coloring books. As always - we suggest you make the best decision for YOU, and let the chips fall where they may. Links we referenced - Care.com - Event Sitters Quotes we referenced “It’s your wedding, it’s your decision. Don’t worry about people getting upset on that day. Worry about YOU, and having a great time.” -Michelle, BOOM. “Where are they going to put them to bed and where will they be when I come in later and I’m totally hammered and I want to have some fun with my husband?” -Michelle, asking the question of the ages about how exactly kids are going to cock-block on a fun date-night “Kids are weird. They’re going to have like one bite, go out on the dance floor and spin around on their heads, then come back and finish it off. Think about what you’re going to serve them, how you’re going to serve them and what time.” -Christy Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Wedding Planning can be a stressful, unenjoyable, expectation-crushing, soul sucking experience that drives you to the absolute brink of relationship death! But it doesn’t have to be this way. In this episode, we debunk the stress-myth and share our vast experience about how to keep your eye on the prize and your feet on the ground as you plan your wedding. Stay alert and stay alive, y’all. Shit just got real! Big Takeaways - Hey, maybe now is a good time to pick up yoga or meditation! Commit, Connect, Communicate. Remember that the wedding planning process is a journey - the wedding is not the end goal. It’s the marriage that you are beginning! Don’t let the planning consume your life. Really try hard not to obsess over the details. Pick your battles! It’s cliche, but in wedding planning, it’s life. Figure out how to share the workload (see the link below) so that you are both involved and invested. The wedding day does not belong to one partner - it is a ritualistic day that you experience as a couple. A day to celebrate your relationship and get you started off on the right foot for your life together. Once again, we go over how you have to figure out your budget first. It’s a trickle down effect for all wedding planning. If you’re vague about it, it’s going to be a bigger issue down the road. We probably say the word BREATHE about 50 times in this episode (Ok, maybe like a dozen). Can you tell that we deal with this a lot? We are big proponents of ‘wedding planning breaks’. “We were taking A BREAK!” (Friends. Anyone? Anyone?) Links we referenced - Is It Our Day Or The Bride's Day? The Division Of Wedding Labor And It's Meaning For Couples An article we reference which is spot on and we highly recommend it. Surprisingly Awesome is a podcast that Michelle LOVES. Especially the two episodes about wedding planning. https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/surprisingly-awesome/id1053898371?mt=2 Quotes “A wedding is a representation of ourselves - of our identity as a couple. We are illuminating and displaying it for our family and friends on our wedding day. It’s a union to bring together our family and best friends...this is the village. We are creating something new with this marriage….This is a recipe for crazy.” -Michelle. We get it. Michelle frames it. “Let this podcast redirect the focus, if you are in the thick of planning your wedding or if you’re just counting down the last couple weeks until your wedding...like, take a deep breath. This is just the beginning - it’s like a fun, opening day party for the rest of your life and relationship. Recognize that no matter what happens, at the end of this day - you will be married!” -Christy. Hey, if you are going to meditate, you can use this as your mantra. “Once a decision is made, move on. That’s a big piece of advice for ‘don’t get crazy’. ...Don’t waste brain energy and time on decisions that have already been made. Let it go. Move on.” -Christy. Seriously, move on. Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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It can get confusing. Wedding Planner, Wedding Consultant, Day Of Coordination, Month Of Coordination, the venue has a coordinator, we don’t blame you for being confused. In this episode, we discuss and explain in depth all of the terms and services so that it all makes sense. Big Take Aways Christy and Michelle share their airplane rituals, drinking tricks, and Garage Band editing prowess. We aren’t just Wedding Planners, we’re real people, y’all! Also, Christy is into the podcast ‘My Dad Wrote a Porno’, check it out, you’ll thank us later. Wedding Planners come in many shapes and sizes! And titles. A planner and coordinator are similar – engaged couples hire them and then the planner works with the couple directly, providing guidance and references, helping with the timeline and all the logistics, as an advocate and liaison for the couple. A venue coordinator works for the venue, not for the couple, necessarily. A designer primarily works on the way a wedding looks and feels, not the details and logistics of the day. Most planners typically offer 3 basic services: Month Of Planning, Partial Planning, Full Planning. Compare prices, but also compare exactly what each planner offers within these categories. Be weary and get educated about ‘Day Of Wedding Coordination’ – Don’t hire someone that says they will just work 8 hours on the wedding day and it will all be fine...it won’t be. We think that Month of Coordination is an incredible value and we highly recommend hiring a planner for this service. Links We Referenced Certification course that Michelle and Christy both took to become certified wedding consultants: https://www.ce.csueastbay.edu/ce/programs/wedding-planner/ Episode Quotes “CWC – Certified Wedding Consultant, that is my official title. General lingo on the street is ‘wedding planner’.” “As consultants, you do some teaching, I do some speaking, we’re getting paid to do things other than actual wedding planning, which is our expertise, more of a consultant. Also, working with a couple for only a couple of hours, to answer questions, and that feels more like consulting than planning.” – Christy and Michelle, discussing their title. Confused yet? “I am of the opinion that there is no such thing as a true ‘Day of Planner’ – no matter what they call themselves, it’s not possible to do a good job by just showing up on the day of the wedding and getting a bit of info from the bride and just planning the wedding from that point. That’s just a recipe for disaster.” –Christy, on a ‘day of wedding planning’ “About a month before – Boom! There’s all these details! And at that point, you don’t want your phone ringing off the hook with vendors asking questions, or your email inundated with all these questions about details while you are trying to get things done in your real life – like work!” - Michelle, on what a great Month-of wedding planner will help you with Get In Touch Let us know if you have questions you need answered on the show or want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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You’ve got questions, we’ve got answers! This is our first episode featuring questions about weddings from our current and former clients, and our friends planning weddings. Keep ‘em coming! We love answering YOUR questions. Big Take Aways - Bridesmaids – different sizes, shapes and styles…also sometimes they’re pregnant! What are the best ways to choose dresses for the big day? We recommend that you allow your bridesmaids to choose their own dresses…but there are options here. And, as usual, pros and cons. What’s the difference between ‘Black Tie’ and ‘Black Tie optional’? What’s the best wording to put on your invitation if you want a formal wedding? The main difference is that the men wear a tux as opposed to a nice suit. Lots of questions came in about budget and saving money, so we have tips, yes we do! Negotiating with vendors…is that a thing? Why yes it is. Listen and learn. Links we referenced Weddington Way for bridesmaids dresses: https://www.weddingtonway.com J Crew for wedding parties: https://www.jcrew.com/wedding BHLDN by Anthropology for bridesmaids: http://www.bhldn.com/bridesmaids-view-all-dresses/?cmsp=LANDING--20161011maidscat--viewall_cat Mod Cloth for bridesmaids: http://www.modcloth.com/shop/bridesmaid-dresses?featuring=143681 Episode Quotes “If you put the words ‘Black Tie’ on your invitation, you are setting the tone for the entire wedding” –Christy and Michelle agree on this. Make it fancy! “Do you like it? Freaking do it, man! It’s your wedding! My opinion doesn’t matter here.” –Michelle, on whether or not she’s into choreographed wedding dances Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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We are HUGE proponents of Marriage Equality and have been allies to the LGBTQ community long before the SCOTUS landmark decision in 2015. We are thrilled to interview our friend and mentor, Bernadette Smith in this episode! Big Take Aways - Bernadette Smith is our awesome friend and the owner of 14 Stories, the nation’s first wedding planning firm dedicated to same-sex couples. She also runs the Equality Institute and the Gay Wedding Institute. She is the foremost expert on gay weddings and we are so stoked to be interviewing her for our podcast! Bernadette’s favorite podcasts: Fresh Air, WTF with Marc Maron, On Point, and 99% Invisible http://www.npr.org/podcasts/381444908/fresh-air http://www.wtfpod.com http://www.npr.org/podcasts/510053/on-point-with-tom-ashbrook http://99percentinvisible.org Since the Marriage Equality ruling, a huge market has opened up for gay weddings and we love every bit of it! New trends and traditions, inclusive language, adjusted marketing, and cultural sensitivity – we talk about it all during this episode. Gay weddings are changing the wedding industry – listen and find out how, and why. Links we referenced Bernadette Smith’s Companies: 14 Stories - http://www.14stories.com Gay Wedding Institute - http://gayweddinginstitute.com Bernadette on HuffPost - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bernadette-coveney-smith/same-sex-weddingsb4399014.html Episode Quotes “Bernadette Smith’s life work is to ensure that same-sex couples, no matter where they live, have the most positive, supportive experience while planning their wedding. In addition to being a wedding planner, Bernadette is building a global tribe of wedding professionals who are sensitive, trained and ready.” – Our intro to Bernadette! “That’s how I built my career – looking around and seeing what needs are not being met, and then asking myself if I can meet those needs, if I had an interest in meeting those needs. “ - Bernadette Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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This is Part 1 of our multi-episode series with engaged couple Matt Gourley and Amanda Lund. We play the Newlywed Game and get to know our bride and groom – super fun! Matt and Amanda share their insight about wedding planning and podcasts and Disneyland. We will check in with them later in the planning process (wedding is in May 2017), and again after the wedding. Big Take Aways - Our couple talks about the DIY aspects of the wedding and how they had to reconcile their expensive taste with their real wedding budget. This is a common hurdle. Stay tuned to see how Matt and Amanda handle it. Deal-breakers and compromises make the wedding planning world go round! Guestlist: Matt and Amanda have big families and lots of mutual friends, but the guestlist has definitely been the biggest challenge so far in wedding planning process. They have an A and B list for the invitees – do you?? Let us know how you decided who to invite to the wedding. Did you have a B-list? Links we referenced Matt’s podcasts: I was there too, Pistol Shrimps Radio, James Bonding, SuperEgo http://www.earwolf.com/person/matt-gourley/ Amanda is on the Pistol Shrimps! http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/aubrey-plaza-pistol-shrimps-meet-basketball-team-made/story?id=40258722 The Newlywed Game – best answer ever. (Please see quotes below.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XM5hbS7GlU Episode Quotes “What’s the strangest place you’ve ever made whoopee?” “That’d be the butt, Bob!” –we collectively remember and quote The Newlywed Game’s best Q&A ever. It may be the very inspiration for this episode. “I’ve always wanted to walk with a cane. Not like a pimp, but like a gentleman with an old war wound. …I feel like a distinguished English detective.” –Matt, on his secret desires. “I’m really good at Search-a-Word. I love it.” “I think it’s so funny that you don’t think that’s funny!” -Michelle and Christy about Michelle’s favorite past time. Who knew?! “I’m most worried we’ll be in a Donald Trump presidency.” –Matt, on what worries he has for his wedding day. Fingers crossed! #werewithher “I mean, wedding planning. It’s a real doozy.” –Amanda, pretty much summarizing this entire podcast theme! Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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In this episode, we dive into the GUEST LIST. Do you need to cut the Guest List? How? How many guests is too much? Should you let mom create her own list? How to narrow down who is getting invited to your wedding and how to organize it. This is a tricky process and we offer our personal and professional advice on how to navigate it. Big Take Aways - We are big proponents of a two-part organization process. First, both partners need to write down everyone they want to invite, and then you divide those lists into A and B lists. Compare notes and go from there. Ok, so it’s a three or four part process, but still, we break it down for you. Personal moment alert! Christy shares her biggest regret planning her own wedding 8 years ago. Hint: It had to do with the guestlist! The guest list can be the most challenging part of the wedding planning process for some couples. We suggest creating your guest list together during the very first phase of the wedding planning process. Take into consideration the size of your budget and the physical constraints of your venue. Like everything else with wedding planning, you need to compromise. If you want a VERY expensive reception meal and the top tier bar package, you will likely need to invite fewer guests. How do you cross people off the invite list? This is the hard part. One rule of thumb and questions to ask yourself: Have you seen this person in the last year? Are you likely to see them in the year following your wedding? Do you have to include a ‘Plus One’ on your invitations? Michelle and Christy discuss the options here. Our opinion? Yes, yes you do. (For the most part…) Destination weddings! They’re a little different when it comes to your guest list. Typically, you’ll invite fewer people, and fewer people will RSVP with a yes. The earlier you get out your Save The Date, the better. You’re requesting more from your guests with a destination wedding…they need to plan ahead! Links we referenced Here’s a blog post on the Allure Consulting site that breaks down the budget and guest list – including Michelle’s advice for the A and B list: http://www.allureconsulting.com/allure-wedding-consulting-blog/category/how-much-should-i-budget-for-my-wedding Episode Quotes “7 years later, I definitely think we made some wrong decisions. Friends of mine, friendships that have lasted much past the wedding, that I didn’t invite…where I think we went wrong is that we should have made room, or put it on a credit card, to invite people who were so special to me and that weren’t at my wedding.” –Christy, on her own wedding planning regrets “I’ve done a Hindu wedding where the bride and groom didn’t have any say in their wedding, but that’s the cultural norm and the couple was ok with that…but typically, for the majority of our weddings, the couple is paying for most of the wedding. So the guest list should ultimately be up to the couple getting married.” – Michelle, on the proportion of guests the parents typically invite “You can’t make everybody happy! And you want to please your future-mother-in-law and you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But when it comes down to it, you don’t want to regret anything. And people will get over it.” -Michelle Get In Touch Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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You’re engaged. You know you want a wedding. How much does a wedding cost? How do you figure it out? We school you on how to create your wedding budget. Big Take Aways Michelle and Christy have a special formula to figure out the budget: Geographic Location + Number of Guests + Style of Wedding = Wedding Budget Always have a range for your budget instead of a firm number. But BE REALISTIC and honest with each other about this range and your individual priorities. Everything is negotiable! Venue managers want your business. Don’t be shy - tell the venue manager what your budget is (for room rental, food, beverage) and they will tell you if they can make it work. Lots of articles and resources out there can tell us what an ‘average’ wedding costs. Here is what most of them mean by ‘average’: 125 guests, hotel ballroom or wedding venue with basic rentals included in their wedding package, DJ (no band), centerpieces and personal flowers. No elaborate floral installation, etc. You get the point. Links we referenced www.theweddingreport.com - Plug in the zip-code of where you want to have your wedding and find out the average cost for a ‘typical’ wedding in that geographic area. (Under ‘Market Search’) Wedding Wire Budget Guide: http://publications.weddingwire.com/i/644940-weddingwire-budget-guide-2016 Episode Quotes “There are ways to plug in numbers and get some information on the front end so that all the math trickles out and you can see how it all affects everything else and where you need to move some money around. So we are advocates of spreadsheets and Excel formulas. We are into that. “ - Christy, on what turns wedding planners on “And please, please make this the first thing you do in the planning process: Come up with a budget. Please don’t call vendors before knowing your budget. Figure out your budget first and foremost, before anything. “ - Michelle, begging you to decide on the big numbers! “No matter what your budget is, just make this wedding about you. Customize it to you. “ –Michelle, Don’t get her started on cookie-cutter weddings… Get In Touch Let us know if you have questions you need answered on the show or want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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In this episode, we discuss the FIRST things couples experience when planning a wedding. We share the lessons learned by real couples, and we offer our guidance & advice for navigating this exciting, often anxiety-inducing time. This episode features lots of quotes from Real Couples that we surveyed. Hindsight is 20/20 y'all! Big Take Aways Christy and Michelle are veritable technological geniuses. The world of podcasting is lucky to have them. Take time to enjoy being engaged and celebrating that milestone. When you are ready to jump into planning, consider the big ideas first…budget, venue, guestlist. Shotgun weddings are pretty common! Christy talks about her own. We believe that the universe always has a way of working out – even with wedding planning! The main similarities between the engaged couples we surveyed – in terms of the first things they thought about and dealt with during wedding planning: concern and confusion over the overall budget, figuring out the guestlist, managing the expectations of parents and friends, whether or not they can/should hire a planner Hiring a wedding planner is a luxury for some and a necessity for others. VERY helpful for anyone that can swing it. VERY. Links we referenced None (accept to mention the Apple store class offerings) Episode Quotes “At the end of the night, when I was exhausted, I had to take off my shoes and pick all that shit up.” - Michelle, lamenting the fact that she didn’t have a wedding planner for her own wedding “If a female cousin of mine is getting married and she’s NOT pregnant, it’s a surprise. We’re all like, ‘You’re getting married?! Why? You aren’t even pregnant!’ “ - Christy, from a family of Fertile Myrtles Get In Touch Let us know if you have questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Hello world. A quick intro from Michelle about who we are, why we are doing a show about wedding planning and why you should listen. Get In Touch Let us know if you have questions you need answered on the show or want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

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Welcome! In this episode, you will get to know your hosts, Michelle Martinez & Christy Matthews. Michelle & Christy chat, laugh and lay out exactly what their experience is and why you should be listening to this show. BIG TAKE AWAYS Who are we? Michelle Martinez, a Certified Wedding Consultant living in the Boston area. Allure Wedding Consulting - www.allureconsulting.com Christy Matthews, a Certified Wedding Consultant living in Dallas/Fort Worth. Christy Matthews Events - www.christymatthewsevents.com Christy and Michelle tell the story of how they met in this episode. It’s like a romantic-friend comedy for the ages! What the heck is the Big Wedding Planning Podcast all about?? Here’s our intro: ‘This is a podcast for anyone involved in planning a wedding.” That pretty much sums it up! Engaged couples, wedding industry vendors, anyone that is considering a job in the wedding industry…people that just love weddings! 2 chicks that know a shit-ton about wedding planning and we want to share our professional wisdom, tricks of the trade, advice and anecdotes. Let us know if you have questions you need answered on the show or want to share your own wedding planning experiences! LINKS WE REFERENCED Here’s where both Christy and Michelle went to school to learn how to be awesome wedding planners: https://www.ce.csueastbay.edu/ce/programs/wedding-planner/ EPISODE QUOTES “I promise: this is going to be fun. For the listeners and for us. This first episode is unique because we want you to get to know our personality… If you are planning a wedding right now, we SO know what you are going through. Because we’ve been planning weddings for a long time!” – Michelle. But don’t take our word for it! Listen and find out! “Then the baker told me that half the cakes they do here in Dallas are totally fake. And I thought, Oh My Gosh. This is the argument for me getting a boob job…the cake pushed me into googling plastic surgeons.” – Christy, on how Texas is different than California Get In Touch Let us know if you have questions you need answered on the show or want to share your own wedding planning experiences! TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast: Recent Episodes

Michelle Martinez

1 Seven Days in June by Tia Williams

2 Ghosts by Dolly Alderton

3 The Wedding Crasher by Mia Sosa

4 Call Me By Your Name by Andrew Aciman

5 I Kissed Shara Wheeler by Casey McQuiston

6 Island Time by Georgia Clark!

1 - New Email Address for the wedding only - I recommend signing up for a Google.

3 - Social Media Accounts

4 - Weekly wedding planning sessions

5 - Priorities

1 Email “A Ring Dilema”

2 Email “My Father is a Maybe”

3 Email “WTH Welcome Bags!?”