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Why Goals Stopped Working For Me We all need goals. They give us direction, motivation and something to aim for. I've spent years teaching goal setting, visualisation, Timeline Therapy and even a little Law of Attraction. Goals work... but I discovered they weren't the whole story.

A while ago something felt off. I was achieving what I'd set out to do, yet there was still a quiet feeling that something was missing. It wasn't about fear of failure or limiting beliefs. It was something much deeper.

In this Five Minute Quickie I share the beginning of that discovery and ask a question that completely changed the way I now think about success and fulfilment.

What if you don't need another goal?

What if you're asking goals to give you something they were never designed to provide?

In the next longer episode I'll share what I discovered, how it changed my direction, and why it became such an important part of my own personal development journey.

If you've ever reached a goal and still wondered, "Is this really it?" then this episode is for you.

In this episode you'll discover:

• Why achieving goals doesn't always create fulfilment.
• The hidden feeling many people experience after reaching success.
• The question that changed my thinking.
• Why the deeper answer isn't another goal.
• A preview of the next Deep Dive episode.

Subscribe so you don't miss the next episode where we'll explore what I found instead.

And share with a friend or two so they don't miss out too: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-538-why-goals-stopped-working-for-me

And if you want to see me recording this https://youtu.be/wMVSjF8Hthk

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

FMQ Why Goals Stopped Working For Me

I want to share something personal with you. A little while ago, a little while ago, something felt off. Something just didn't feel right in my life.

The thing is, what I'm trying to say is, I want to rewind that slightly because we all need goals in our life, don't we? Aims, desires, even dreams. We need them all, don't we? And don't get me wrong, this is not a goal setting workshop or anything like that at all. You see, for years, I used to have loads of goals, dreams, visualisations, you name it, I had them.

I even taught goal setting. I taught putting goals in the future. I did it with my clients.

Timeline therapy. I even did a little bit of the law of attraction because they're all intertwined, aren't they? And they do all have a purpose, but, and it's the but, I felt something was missing. You know, getting goals helped me.

Yeah, yeah, they did. They helped motivate me. They felt good for a time.

But after a while, say a little while ago, I wasn't truly fulfilled. You know, getting the goals is one thing, but it just didn't, well, I don't, it just didn't make me feel right. There was something missing.

I didn't know what it was. Well, not then. Does that resonate with you a little bit? Can you remember? Well, I'll explain the feeling I had.

And maybe you, it'll resonate with you. Maybe you can remember the type of feelings that you've had. I just felt hollow inside.

Yeah, I was pleased with what I was doing. But again, it was just there was something maybe out of reach. Something, you know, I said unfulfilling, but I could look back over my life and say, Yeah, you've had a fulfilling life, Cloughie.

Yeah, there's ups and downs and some big downs. And yes, big ups. But really, I couldn't put my hand on it.

I couldn't grasp what was missing. Not then. Sometimes by the vision I was looking through my eyes in internally, I guess, was a bit blurred.

Because I couldn't quite see the direction I wanted to go in. Something was missing. It really was.

Now, I know, sometimes we can put that to things like fear of success, fear of failure. You've even got things like, I'm not good enough, all those limiting beliefs, you know, I shouldn't be here. What if they find me out? And we can deal with those.

And we will deal with those. You see, there are things that prevent us having goals, getting our dreams, getting that getting our desires. And I've got 60 plus hypnosis tracks for you completely free.

Well, complimentary is a better way of saying it. Just go to paulcluffonline.com forward slash podcast and have what you like. And if there's anything that you require help in, in achieving your goals, or something is stopping you and you want to let go of the block, you get in touch with me.

Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com and we'll sort out things for you. That's my email address, by the way. Just let me know.

But that's not what I'm talking about, really, because we can get the goals, but I was getting my goals. But that unfulfilled feeling. It's a little bit like getting somewhere and going, is that it? Is that all there is? And even started affecting me in looking at my life.

Is that all there is here? And what's next? Because I can keep doing the same thing over again, but will it change this feeling? And you see that even affects our beliefs, isn't it? We've got those limiting beliefs, even on those goals. But you know, that unfulfilled feeling begins to give you limiting beliefs. And a bit like, is that all there is? What's is it worth it? And then about yourself? Maybe I'm not good enough.

Maybe I'll just get it wrong. Maybe I'm a failure. And then the values that we hold so dearly sometimes start to get just rocked a little bit.

And that ultimately affects our identity, the identity that we we believe we have. But, and this is the but, so that was pretty down. But this is the but.

What if? What that lovely question? What if? What if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal? Oh, that's different, isn't it? I'll say that again. With that wonderful question. What if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal? But because you're looking for something goals were never designed to do? Have a think about that for the moment.

I'm going to give you a little bit of time to think about it anyway. Because on the deeper dive, the next episode, I'll tell you what I discovered instead, because I found the answer. And I'll take you through my personal journey, my adventure of of what happened.

And I'll share with you, hopefully the things that get you thinking that, yeah, I can have that too. That resonates with me. I'll come along with Cloughie.

Because this is a personal sharing. And I hope you hope it helps. Because you know, I want to support you in your dreams, your goals, your desires.

And all the things that maybe stop you getting them and all that. The process is stuff. But there's also the deeper thing, the deeper thing that I discovered.

I think it'll make a huge difference. So do press that subscribe button, follow button. So when then it'll be next week, the next episode, when the next episode, the deeper dive, the hashtag, deeper dive comes along, it'll come on your listening device, just like that, without you thinking.

And then we can have a wonderful conversation together. Because this is what these are all about now, having a conversation and sharing of things I've learned along the way. And hopefully, it'll save you having to go through what I've gone through.

So I'll see you next time on the deeper dive, or just have a think. I'll just repeat that question one more time. What if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal? It's because you're looking for something goals were never designed to do.

That's deep, isn't it? Have a good think of that. And I'll see you next time. Bye bye.

Time to fly my friend. Enjoy every heartbeat.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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I'm Still Finding My Way – Why You Don't Need Your Old Self Back Have you ever caught yourself saying, "I just want the old me back"?

I know I have. I've heard it from hundreds of clients too. It sounds comforting because we believe our old self represents certainty, confidence and stability.

But what if that's not really what we're looking for?

In this deeper dive I explore an idea that completely changed the way I see personal development. Instead of chasing an old version of ourselves—or even trying to discover some perfect "real me"—perhaps we're simply finding our way.

Because your way changes as you change.

I'll share part of my own journey through depression, identity and the work I've been doing around my North Star. Together we'll explore why identity isn't somewhere you arrive, but something that keeps unfolding, and I'll guide you through a simple reflective process to help you reconnect with the qualities that have always been part of you.

If you've ever felt lost, uncertain or caught between who you were and who you're becoming, I hope this episode helps you realise that maybe you haven't lost your way at all.

In this episode you'll discover: * Why wanting your "old self" back may be keeping you stuck. * The difference between identity and the qualities that never leave you. * A simple "Museum of Selves" exercise to reflect on every version of your life. * Why your future isn't about becoming someone different, but continuing to unfold. * Practical journal questions to help you take your next small step.

Remember...

You're not going backwards.

You're still finding your way.

And your way changes as you change.

If this episode resonates, please share it with someone who needs to hear it: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/486-im-still-finding-my-way/

and if you'd like me to explore a particular challenge, email me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Oh! And there's a video of me recording this. It's rough and ready because that's all it needs to be https://youtu.be/hWcLgtawcp0

Until next time...

Have more fun than you can stand.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

So the longer podcast, we're back again for the deeper dive, the deeper dive. And if you listen to the FMQ, the seed of this longer podcast, I hope you did listen. It was, I would just want my old self back.

But I thought to myself, that's not really the thing. The more I thought about what we're going to be talking about, I got a different idea. You see, it's more about finding my way, finding your way, and why you don't want your old self back.

Now that's a completely counterintuitive, turn it on its head spin, isn't it? Think about this. Have you ever caught yourself saying something like this? I just want the old me back. I know I have.

I've heard it hundreds of times from virtually every one of my clients. We go through the problem, I said, what do you want? And instead of I want more confidence, I want this. I just want my old me back.

And that's been a generalisation. But since ever, I've been working with clients, seems to be the goal that some want. And I don't think you do though.

I really don't think you do. You see, I thought that's what I wanted. I really did.

And guess what? It wasn't at all. That's not what I wanted. I realised something completely different.

You see, I think there are three identifying, or not, say it again, Paul, three identities that we have. And they're usually, I say that word again, too, usually edited, they're filtered, filtered for all the good bits. Oh, it was so good back then.

You know, they're usually romanticised and very often, totally incomplete. If you're thinking about this, you know, the real self, what do you think these deeper values might be? The real you, the real self, what are your deeper values? Because these are the qualities that remain. They're constant.

You see, for me, there's a mixture. Could be curiosity, being curious of what I want, what's available, how I find it. There's kindness.

Talked so much about kindness. Creativity. You know, really getting into those creative juices.

And you don't have to be an artist. You don't have to be a writer. It's just creatively thinking about you, the world, and other people.

There's humour. Some people don't get mine, but I've got a bit of humour. But there's humour.

And there's love. Soppy. But there's love.

Love for life. Love for your friends, your family, and love for you. And those qualities I was thinking was, you know, they all survive.

They survive things like depression. They survive things like change. And changes can be weird, can't it? You see, this is all about, not the old you, but the emerging you.

The emerging self. But it's the emerging you. It's the person you're becoming.

You're not finishing. You're not getting to a point and then starting again. No, it's not fixed.

It's fluid. It's always evolving. Yeah, you get that? And to me, this is where I got this from, because it was all from my personal North Star work that I've been working on over the last, I don't know, six months, maybe a year.

But it's certainly the six months and I'm going to go through that in different podcasts. These are the type of values I've been looking for behind that romanticised old me. Now, here's the thing.

Forget the old romanticised old self, because you don't need it. You don't want it. Yes, I do, Cluffy.

I do. No. This is what I think you want.

You want to have a confidence and a competence, you know, in a feeling of, I can do this. And you know, you're right. You're not overconfident.

You want certainty. Everybody wants a little bit of certainty. And it's difficult in this ever changing world, but have some certainty about yourself.

You want a bit of energy. And above all, we always want, and your unconscious mind wants it for you, safety. Yeah.

And we always, when I say romanticise, we always associate with that period in the past, different things, not those. Or maybe we just, you know, take the good bits out. Now, let me tell you a story.

True story. My story. A long time ago, I was in a very deep black hole.

Emotionally, very broken. I had brief thoughts of, you know, do I really want to be on this little old planet earth anymore? No, only brief, but it was that low. I never realised you could get that low.

I've talked about it before. I'd worked with people who went to the bottom of the barrel, because I always used to think you have to get to the bottom of the barrel before you start changing. But this was something affecting me in my life.

And suddenly, everything had disappeared on me. And I was trying everything. I was being my own therapist, going through every blooming thing I could think of, because all I was looking for was the old Paul.

The old Paul. I was desperate to find the old me. And then I had this little breakthrough.

I didn't want the old Paul back. I really didn't. Because it didn't fit.

The old Paul was part of that old problem. I was part of the choosing of creating that black hole. I was part of that depression.

I was part of that breakdown. And even chasing that real me. You know, I wanted the real me, the real me.

And that became another destination. Oh, who's the real me? I was chasing and chasing now another, say, another direction, another destination. Another identity, as it were.

Then I came to another aha moment. And what it was, and it's so simple. I'm just still finding my way.

That's all it is. I'm finding my way. And my way changes as I change.

That's it. Let's just think about that again. You're still finding your way.

And your way, whatever that is, changes as you change. Oh, and that was really powerful to me. Really was.

You see, there's so many different changes, isn't there? There's the teenage self, the young parent that I was, there was my career dreaming self. I got pretty successful at one particular career. Well, I think I've been pretty successful at different changing careers, but I was successful in myself, I thought.

But then I'd lost myself. Can you appreciate each one? Could you learn from each one? You see, let's think. Just bear with me.

And if you can close your eyes, that'll be great. If you can't, it doesn't matter. The only reason you close your eyes is just to take a few distractions away.

So you can really focus on my voice and what I'm saying. But if it's not safe to do so, keep your eyes open and, you know, just listen. Just listen and let it go in and when it, things will happen.

See, I want you to imagine something. I want you to imagine that we're walking through a museum. You and I. Well, in fact, it's really you.

You're in this museum, and it has this wonderful corridor. And we're walking through this corridor. And there's so many different doors leading to different rooms.

Some of the doors are really ornate. Can you see them now? Some of them have little nameplates on. And you see, these are your rooms.

Because each room contains that version of yourself. A previous version. Let's go back to what I said before.

That previous version of your teenage self. You know, if you went into that room, you would see, become aware of who you were then, back then. As a teenage, as a teenager.

The you that was a teenager. What were your thoughts? What were your dreams? Maybe you had some worries. But then if you come through to the next door, we close that one.

And we go to the next room, there's the young parent. If you've been a parent, like I was, I was very young. But you might have acted as a parent to other people back then.

And then look at the door that says career. That career self. What was that like? Over the years? Maybe there was a different you in each part of your career, the steps along the way, things you learned.

Maybe the things that you, what gave you a bit of anxiety, maybe, because that's another room. As you come out into that corridor. There's times when we've been anxious, isn't it? Anxious, worried, maybe scared.

That's another room, that's another part of the self. The anxious self, the worried self. How do we cope? What made it happen? What did we learn? What didn't we learn? Then maybe there's another room of the confident self.

All the skills, all the skills you've learned, making you competent and making you feel confident now. Yeah, through all different events, events, context in your life. Maybe that room leads to or links to the successful self.

You know, when you just felt, oh, I feel so good. Because there's so many different ways of feeling successful, isn't there? And maybe there's another one. One that's called the lost self.

Yeah, I had that one. I had that one. That was a big room for me.

The lost self. So we can walk through each room. You can take time to do this again.

But just appreciate each one because they're a different aspect of your identity, aren't they? Of your history, your personal history. We can appreciate them. We can learn from every one of them.

But just don't go back into any room. Because you don't have to keep moving back and forward, move back and forward. Because you see, museums are really just for the visit.

They're not for living, are they? They're just records of the past. They're just records of the past. Things that we can learn from, I guess.

Yeah. How interesting was that? It was really interesting when I started doing it. All these different identities of you, of me.

You tend to think we have one identity. So instead of thinking, who am I? Think of this, consider this as a question. Get your journal out if you want to.

This is something that you could do with a lovely journal and just sit back and relax and take a breath and then ask yourself, what qualities do I want to grow tomorrow? Not the identity, it's a direction. Maybe you want to be more curious, more compassionate, maybe. And that compassion to me is such a wonderful thing to grow in yourself.

If you can have that as a skill, an ability to be more compassionate every day. I think that just leads you to that curiosity. It makes you more playful, doesn't it? Maybe you just want to be more playful.

You know, with the things that we look forward to and dream of, maybe you want to be more courageous. That's another one, isn't it? More courageous. So many different things.

What else? What are the examples, the qualities that you'd like to grow more of tomorrow? Write them down. You see, now when we think of it this way, the things you desire for yourself, your identity becomes a movement. It's not a destination.

Does that make sense? I struggled with it a little bit, but it makes sense to me now. And you see, trying to put all things together, connecting the dots. So you can only connect the dots of the past, you can't connect the dots of the future.

But as I said in that FMQ, The Seed, my way changes as I change. Your way changes as you change. Even if you go further from that, I tried to think of it this way.

Life isn't asking us to become somebody, someone is asking us to keep becoming. Whoa, that got me. And that becoming is only limited by your imagination.

Your imagination is limitless. So the sky is the limit to become who you desire to be. Now that's a completely different mindset, isn't it? Do you get it? Now, all of that is not NLP, it's not hypnosis, because they're just blooming tools.

They're bloody great tools though. So this is more about what I've discovered in my North Star philosophy that's coming to fruition now, I think, in my mind. But we're going to talk about all the tools that you need to get this direction, to get this becoming.

And we're going to talk about those in many episodes, you know that. You see, I want you to think about this as a little bit of a philosophy. We, I, you, are never finished.

Now that can be a little daunting, but think about it this way. We, you, I, are always unfolding. Imagine that as a picture of your life, you're unfolding, you're seeing new things, new directions.

That's, in some ways, what all of these, or certainly the last, I don't know, five, six deep dives, they've all been heading this way. They've all been pointing me to this. And it's part of my work, my own personal North Star work.

I think where I'm expressing this, that's where I'm getting these thoughts from. So let me pose a couple of things to you. I'd like you to write them down, and then take a bit of time to consider the implications.

Here's a question. Which version of me am I trying to go back to? That was a difficult one for me, because of all those different rooms in the museum. Which version was I trying to get back to? Was I really getting back to a version? And when I think about the old me, what did that version give me? So, because there wasn't one version, was it? But there's different versions.

What was it really trying to give me? But here's a real good thing. Great question, this. Well, not the question, it's the answers you get to this question.

What qualities have never left me? And that just reminds me, I did an episode, I don't know when it was, but it was all about my qualities. I've even got it on the hypnosis tracks at paulcloughonline.com forward slash podcast. All about my qualities.

When you look at your qualities, you feel absolutely bloody awesome. When you remind yourself how good you are, first time I saw in all this time, but it is, you're so fucking good. You really are, you've got so many wonderful qualities.

So when you think about what qualities have never left you, never left you at all. And when you know that, and you know your dreams, your desires, what qualities do you want to grow now, next? That just go in a minute, what qualities do I want to grow? Think of your dreams and desires, what qualities would make them come to fruition richer, bigger, better, brighter. And when you think of that, dreams, the desires, the goals that you have, and the qualities that will help them grow, maybe here's a question.

If I'm still finding my way, and we are, you, I are still finding our ways, what would today's next step look like? You put them all together and you start to find a way to help embassage this evolution of you. So I don't know, hopefully that's given you loads and loads to muse, to sit down quietly with your G&T, your cup of tea, your glass of water, whatever it is, quietly, to ruminate, to allow the muse to take you to tea. But I'd like you, I'd like to continue sharing my adventure in finding a directional path of my North Star, my North Star exploration.

And maybe you can join me with yours. Let's do it in parallel. Let's really grow together.

And it doesn't matter what age you are, you know, I'm a little bit older than most, but I'm still searching to make my life even better, even richer, because I'm evolving into different contexts, different genres of my life. And I want the qualities that allow that to become so meaningful to me. So, yeah, I'm still finding my way.

I'll always, I think, keep finding my way, keep taking the next step, having new dreams, new desires. And I want you to come with me. And I want you to, well, I want just to support you in those dreams, those desires, to create the best version of you every day.

Now, sometimes you do need those tools, as I said. And if there are anything, or any things, or anything that is giving you like an obstacle, maybe there's a block, you know, on the way, something in your way that you need help with. Maybe it's emotional.

Maybe it's physical. Maybe it's whatever. There's something happening that you need a bit of help with.

Do please email me. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Do that. Good old Cluffy.

I'm the only one here. And we'll create something for you. I will.

I will also keep going through this continuing adventure of mine, and sharing it with you, because hopefully that will give you the inspiration to find your steps, your way to create a better world. Better world for you, better world for the people around us. And ultimately, little old planet Earth.

That's my dream. And because it's my dream, I'd love you to share my dream with others, if you would. I know I haven't really brought an awful lot to the table on this particular one, because it's more about thinking, considering, getting us to maybe just take a step forward by taking the step and considering.

But if you could share this with everyone you know, because I think we can all do with this little pause and realise it's not the old me. It's not the old self. It's who I'm developing into, evolving into.

And how do I want to evolve and develop? So come with me on that. I'll share everything I can. And hopefully we're going to find a wonderful new world.

Let's be that butterfly that flaps and creates a wonderful wind, a storm of change. I don't care. Let's just make change happen now.

So until the next time, my friend, you go fly. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend.

Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

I Want My Old Me Back Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I just want the old me back"?

It's something I've heard from clients for years. It's something I said to myself too.

But what if that's not what you really want?

What if the old you was part of the struggle... and what you're really looking for is the real you?

In this Five Minute Quickie, I share a personal insight that changed how I think about personal growth, identity and lasting change.

The next deeper dive explores why you don't need to become your old self again—you simply need to keep finding your way.

In this episode you'll discover: * Why so many people long for their "old self" * The surprising problem with trying to go backwards * A simple mindset shift that brings hope and stability * Why your path naturally changes as you change * A preview of the deeper hypnosis episode to come

If you're feeling lost, stuck or disconnected from yourself, this episode is a gentle reminder that you're not broken—you may simply be becoming.

Remember to share what you hear: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-537-i-want-my-old-me-back/

and there's a video of me doing the recording https://youtu.be/L7S0uAc9bRU

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey my friend, back for a five minute quickie, the seed of something I think you're going to find interesting, but I also think is so important in this adventure of personal development, your personal development, you're creating the best version of you. You see, this is what I've been thinking of. When we're suffering, when we're suffering issues, you know, anxiety, fear, depression, loneliness, anything you can think of, you know, self-sabotage, procrastination, you know, that every blooming OCD, anything you can think of, you fill in the blank.

When it hits us to get out, we're looking for certainty, I guess. Everyone needs certainty. We need certainty and uncertainty.

But in that realm, we want certainty, stability. You know, I'm not going mad. I want to find a way out.

I certainly want to find a way out. You know, something I can hold on to, to lead me out. And I think that here's something that I experienced so often.

When I work with clients, we talk about their issues. And I talk about what you want. And you might think they want, well, you know, I'm so anxious, depressed.

I want happiness. I want fulfillment. I want this.

And they do. But then they really just go, do you not pull? I just want my old self back. The old me, you know, because that's stability, isn't it? The old me, the old me that I can remember.

You see, I don't know. That old me is something that you can remember with fondness, maybe. And we're going to talk about that in a longer podcast somewhere else.

Why the disconnection? Maybe even on this longer, deeper dive, following this FMQ. But you see, another thing, a personal thing. In my life's adventure, way back over there, I was in a big black hole.

And it was big and it was deep. And I was at the bottom of it. And I was doing all sorts of things to get myself out.

Because I knew a lot of different things. I was becoming my own therapist, day in, day out. It was literally day in, day out.

And what I used to say to people, I just want my old self back. The old Paul. If only I had the old Paul, I'd be okay.

And you see, during that time, I had a lot of help. Gave myself a lot of help. Looking for the old me.

So just like my clients. And then one day, one day, guess what? I had an aha moment. We have them occasionally, don't we? An aha moment.

I didn't want the old me. Why would I want that? I'd want the real me. Because the old me had, and was part of, those issues.

And the real me didn't. The thing is, I had something came about in my head. Because whilst that seemed to give me some stability to let go of that and look for this real me, I realised something that changed my thoughts.

This constant looking for this, to me, a new identity. Whatever that was, the real me. Well, it wasn't working.

And that's where the deep dive comes in, in the next longer podcast. You see, I think it's going to be really important when we go there. Because we'll discover something that will give you that certainty, will give you that stability, something to hold on to.

And give you something as a foundation to let go of things such as that fear, that anxiety, that depression, that loneliness, the old whatever, you fill in the blank. But on this lovely, I call it a lovely adventure. But sometimes it's, you know, adventures can be a little bit scary, can't they? I want to share with you one thing.

And I'd like you to think about it before the dive. And this one thing is, and it's like my second aha moment, when I've been sitting down with my puzzle book, and just thinking and trying to find a way, trying to find that certainty. I came up with this little sentence.

And it just makes me feel okay. And what I said was, I'm still finding my way. And my way changes as I change.

Say that again. I'm still finding my way. And my way changes as I change.

And that's where I think the direction of this podcast is going to go. It's how life changes as we change and how we can use these changes. And all the tools, I'm not forgetting all the tools, we're going to go through the tools, the things to help you get rid of anxiety, fear, depression, loneliness, all that stuff.

But realise we're finding our way. And when you're certain you're going to find your way, that's when, well, there you go. Come with me on the longer podcast, the next one to follow this.

I might still call it, I want my old me back. I might call it something else, who knows in between. But come with me, it'll be a longer, deeper dive.

It'll have a process or two to really get into understanding and feeling and grasping hold of this way of changing. So you can look forward to a wonderful future, a wonderful life. You know, creating your dreams, because I'm here to support your dreams.

Support you in getting whatever you want, because I believe you're entitled to it in this little old life. You're entitled to dream and have those dreams come true. Providing, and there is always a providing.

And the proviso is this, as long as it's good for you, the people around you, and little old planet Earth, because I want them economical. Economical? No. I want it good for the planet.

I want it good for the people around you. I want it good for you, because it makes sense then, doesn't it? So do join me on the longer podcast. Please do share this with people, anybody you can think of, because everyone, even if you say to them, hey, how you doing? Yeah, I'm good.

I'm good. We are all suffering in some way, because we're all changing. And changing gives you a little bit of a, you know, sometimes a little bit of uncertainty.

I don't want to give you certainty. So even if they're not saying that they have anxiety, fear, depression, loneliness, you fill in the blank. We all have something somewhere, don't we? That we're working through.

And this, I believe, will help you and help them. So do please share. Please press that subscribe button or follow button or whatever it is you have on your listening device of choice, because that means you won't miss out.

It'll come up on your feed and you go, yay, here comes Cloughie With. Yeah, just have a listen. And last upon last, and everyone tells you, don't keep asking too many things, but this is the third one.

If there is anything that you'd like help with, if you are having any challenges, do email me. My email address is feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Do that, you get a personal request from me because I'm the only bugger here. And we'll create an episode just for you.

And I say just for you, but what it means is everyone gets the benefit of, because we're all suffering in some way, big, small, little, in the challenges that you have. We all have this very similar challenges, and we can transform the processes to deal with the ones that we have. Okay, please do that.

Let me know how you're getting on. Give me some feedback. Tell me if I'm talking a load of old, you know what, or if there's something you'd like me, you'd encourage me to talk more of.

Okay, have fun, because it's time to fly. And I'll see you back when you land on the longer podcast. Take it easy.

Bye-bye.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

Finding Your Way: When You Feel Lost in Life Have you ever quietly said to yourself, "I've lost my way"?

Not necessarily out loud. Just inside your own mind.

That feeling that somehow you've become disconnected from where you're going, who you're becoming, or even who you really are.

In this deeper dive episode, Paul explores a personal experience of feeling lost after making significant changes in life and identity. What emerged was a surprising realisation: perhaps we don't lose our way at all. Perhaps we simply lose connection with the part of ourselves that already knows the way.

This episode explores the uncomfortable space between who you've been and who you're becoming, why that space can feel like grief, and how looking outside yourself for answers often keeps you stuck.

Most importantly, you'll experience a guided hypnosis and visualisation process designed to help you reconnect with your future self, discover your inner direction, and uncover the next small step on your journey.

Because maybe your path isn't something you find.

Maybe it's something you feel.

IN THIS EPISODE

• Why feeling lost often follows personal growth and change

• The hidden link between identity and feeling directionless

• Why searching for answers outside yourself can make things worse

• The difference between finding a thing and following a direction

• How your future self may already know the next step

• Using emotion to communicate with your unconscious mind

• Why purpose is often discovered through feeling rather than logic

• A guided hypnosis process to reconnect with your inner compass

KEY TAKEAWAYS

✓ Feeling lost doesn't mean you've lost your way.

✓ Identity shifts can temporarily create uncertainty and confusion.

✓ Your future self can provide guidance when your conscious mind feels stuck.

✓ Direction often appears before the destination becomes clear.

✓ Purpose is experienced through alignment and feeling, not just thinking.

✓ Small steps create clarity far more effectively than endless searching.

QUOTE FROM THE EPISODE

"You don't have to have the whole plan. You don't need the perfect map. Your future self doesn't hand you the whole journey. It simply nudges you, one step at a time."

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

• Have I really lost my way, or have I simply lost connection with myself?

• What parts of my identity am I currently letting go of?

• What feeling am I truly seeking in my future?

• If my future self could guide me today, what small step would it suggest?

• Am I searching for answers outside myself that may already exist within?

CALL TO ACTION

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who may be feeling uncertain about their direction in life.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/485-finding-your-way-when-you-feel-lost-in-life

And if there is a subject you'd like explored in a future episode, email:

feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com

Together we'll keep exploring, learning, and evolving.

Until next time...

Have more fun than you can stand.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey friend, hope you're doing well and welcome to this longer, deeper dive. And we had the FMQ, the seed of freedom versus structure, freedom or structure. But maybe that's the wrong question.

Maybe I'm asking the wrong question. Maybe a better question might be, how do I create a life that feels free without becoming lost? Okay, something to think about here straight away. If I gave you complete freedom tomorrow, what would you do? There's no schedule, no obligations, no one telling you what to do.

Sounds wonderful doesn't it? Maybe you can feel it, feel what that would feel like, complete freedom. Just imagine what you'd see, hear, feel. Yeah, but just think for a moment.

What happens on day three? What happens when no one's asking anything from you? What happens when there's no deadlines, no structure, no bloody routine? Yeah, didn't think of that did we? I mean, me personally, I've been really wrestling with this. You know, this has been deep inside with my puzzle books and all that thing. Been struggling, wrestling, trying to get a grip of it.

You see, for years, I really wanted freedom. In fact, every client of mine, when I ask them, what do you really want? They say, I just want to be free Paul, I want freedom. But the thing is, when I got closer to it, I found something surprising, and so did they.

You see, I tell you what, let's do a little bit of exploration, the first part of our dive. So take a deep breath, and let's explore this myth. I'm going to call it a myth of freedom.

You see the dream? We've all got it, we've all had it, haven't we? No alarm clocks. Oh dear. No obligations.

You don't have to do anything. No one's telling you what to do, because there's no restrictions. You have a total choice in all of this now.

Total choice, oh my. But then, what's the reality of that? What is the reality? Maybe too many choices? Hmm. Too many choices, oh wow.

Because when you have too many choices, guess what? No direction, is there? There's no momentum. I feel disconnected. I feel stuck.

Can you get that? Can you feel that? That's the way I was feeling. I was feeling stuck because of all these things I started to look at. Feel it with me.

Now you see, I have been doing a lot of work lately on myself. You see, my roles have been changing. I've been deeply into a lot of work with therapy, and I'm starting to just ease that out a bit now.

Not doing quite so much. There's a lot of activities I have been doing, and I've decided to say, well, no, actually, I'm going to push them away. I'm going to change.

And so they dropped off. And because of that, I got space. It started to appear to me.

And you see, here's the thing. I look forward to it. I did.

Because space, to me, is precious. And it sounded so wonderful, until I found I was standing right in the middle of too much space. There's just too much of it.

You see, what I found out was, freedom without direction can start to feel surprisingly like being lost. I'm going to repeat that, because that started to really get inside me. Freedom without direction can start to feel surprisingly like feeling lost.

Let's go deeper. We've done that a little bit. Let's go even deeper now.

You see, maybe it isn't freedom versus structure. This is where we started. This is where I started.

It's a bit of a false choice, really. Because that's what I'm thinking. Maybe it isn't freedom versus structure.

Maybe that was the wrong question I was asking myself. In fact, that's what I've been asking you. Maybe, instead, I ought to have been asking, what type of support allows me to be free? What type of support allows me to be free? Because that was a good question, wasn't it? You see, when you think of structure, and this is what I did, I began to think of restriction, rules, pressure, obligation.

That was stuff I used to have sometimes, but it's too much now. When I think about it now, having structure, it's too much restriction, too many rules. The pressure was on, and there was an obligation.

But here's the thing, not all structure is control. Because some structure allows you, gives you support. Here's a couple of weird examples.

You know, riverbanks create flow. They're in a pond, they're in a lake that just sits there. Sitting there's good, but we want flow, creative flow.

Music is made of scales, isn't it? Because without those scales and notes, and the structure of that, we wouldn't have music. Sometimes you need a frame around a painting to make it stand out. Because if you think about it now, and I started to think about it, it's as if everything has a structure, a strategy, and it has a strategy that it follows.

And they're the things that started to make me think. You see, without that structure, the bloody thing disappears, isn't it? You see, freedom doesn't flourish in chaos. And I think that's what happens when we have freedom.

Sometimes, you know, you can hear the chaos going on because things are too free. Freedom flourishes when it has something to grow through, feeling alive. Think about that again.

Freedom flourishes when it has something to grow through. Yeah. Let's play.

Let's play for a moment. Think about, and you want to close your eyes, you can, or you can just daydream it with me. Think about a time in your life when things felt really good.

Maybe you can just bring to mind something of the past when things just felt really good. What was present regularly in those times when life was really good? What was present? What habits happen naturally? What are those natural triggers that just, you just did it. And again, what routines helped you without feeling restricted? You know, you had a routine, but you just loved it.

Imagine which one or which of those, not just the one, which of those felt really supportive in creating this life and which felt creating. No, I didn't mean creating. Which felt controlling.

Yeah. Because this is the first insight. Not all structures are equal, are they? Each time in your life when you felt really good, they were slightly different, but slightly the same, weren't they? So let's have a, let's have a little think.

And if you didn't close your eyes, maybe you want to close your eyes this time. And if you did close your eyes, you may want to keep them closed, but make sure it's safe to do so. You know that.

And this is just remembering a visualization. So it's not hypnosis, but it's great to be able to focus on you. Take the distractions away.

Give yourself some time. Give yourself the present of time. So just for a moment, I want you to imagine tomorrow.

Not even the most productive of days. Just a good day. Yeah, just a good day.

What is a good day for you? What are the anchors that create a good day? Maybe it's that morning reflection. For me, that's journaling. Maybe it's just spending time in the open, walking.

That freedom of just walking. Having time to maybe think or listen. Maybe it's time when you put aside to be creative.

An old puzzle book comes to mind. Thoughts, dreams. What about exercise? Maybe exercise, the movement.

What about, there's another one, reading or learning. What about when you record your ideas? Maybe you can identify even more. But maybe three just come to mind.

As being, maybe more prevalent in this good day. I'll repeat them. Morning reflection, walking, creative time, exercise, reading.

Maybe just recording your ideas. Just whatever comes to mind now. You see, these anchors are not a schedule, are they? They're not written down.

They're not a rule. They're an anchor, a trigger. You see, a rule tells you off when you miss it.

It's there to, you know, you have to, have to, have to. But an anchor helps you return. Takes you away from drifting.

And that's a beautiful distinction, I think. See, I want those type of anchors in my life. And I want those type of anchors in your life that just create a wonderful good day.

Because when we're having good days, I just get, and imagine that. Good days getting better and better. So just allow those anchors to be present in your life.

And maybe when you do open your eyes, you'll make a note of them. Or maybe take some time to think about them even deeper. So open your eyes.

Have a little look around. Take a deep breath. And we're back.

We're back in the present. And I want to be real now. Let's be real.

Real life. Let's explore where all this appears. You see, what happens to creativity when you have too much freedom? I think we never create when we've got too much freedom.

And I don't. I find I waste time. Because there's no, there's no nothing.

There's no pull. There's no desire. Because of too much.

But then again, if I structure, I'm going to be creative right now. Well, to me, creative or creativity just dies. It disappears.

It just evaporates. And then I get frustrated. What about your health? Think about this.

Your health. When you've got too much freedom, what happens? I'll tell you what happens. You do bugger all.

You let things slide. I know I do. And I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Maybe I'm the only bloody one. Maybe it's just cluffy. But you can't fool yourself.

But what happens with your health if if there's too much control? I've got to do this. I've got to do that. I've got to put this in.

I've got to go to the gym. I've got to burn out, isn't it? Burnout. There's too much.

Think about your relationships now. When you have too much freedom in a relationship, disconnection happens, doesn't it? That closeness just disappears. But if there's too much control, we have to do this, you have to do that.

Nothing is spontaneous. Too much control is in suffocation. We feel like we're tied in, we're bonded.

I can't move. I suffocate. I can't breathe in this relationship now.

Take a moment, just for a moment, and be intuitive. This is a weird question I'll ask you. Maybe you need to reflect on it.

Maybe you want to just write it down. But where in your life are you mistaking support for restriction? It's a weird question, isn't it? But it's an interesting one. Because support doesn't have to be restriction.

Let's get realer. I love the term. Make it more better.

Let's get more realer. You see, I want to get you from this thinking, it's either this or either that. Because it's not.

You see, I don't think you need more discipline. I really don't. Sometimes you just need the right environment.

Creating that right environment. Because so many people, maybe it's me again, just forcing ourselves to do things. Forcing creating the life that we want.

I know on personal development we say one percent more, one percent more, one percent more. But sometimes we just need a little bit of freedom. Because forcing isn't freedom, is it? It's not.

But the thing is, and this is what gets me, again a personal thing, a drift. And drifting isn't freedom either. Because I look back and I go, bugger.

If only I should have, I could have, and all that stuff. We always have those things, don't we? Or is that just me? You see, real freedom, I believe anyway, comes from setting your intention. What's important to you and what you want to achieve.

That's setting intention, isn't it? And setting your intention is a choice, isn't it? You choose what you want to achieve. And that to me gives me a support. It's a lovely support.

It's a comforting support. It feels real. There's no pressure in it.

Because I'm choosing. Choosing what would be good, what would be right, what would make my life better. And in that, there's no pressure.

No pressure whatsoever. Don't know how that gets you. I mean, yeah, let's look at the bigger picture now.

The bigger picture you could consider being your best life, the best version of you. Let's take it well beyond self-improvement. You see, when you find balance, and balance, as you know, is not just this, it's harmony.

When you find harmony, that's better. Let's be real. When you find harmony in your life, you become calmer, don't you? More comfortable.

And in that comfort, in that calmness, that peace, you can be more creative. You're open to intuition. Those are hard.

You're just there for it. Because you're present. You're giving yourself the present of being present.

That's what it's all about. And in this bigger picture, when you do that, people notice. We talk about the ripples, being the change you want to see in others.

People notice. Your family notices it. They love being around you when you're like this.

And you do become that example, the example of what is possible in this life. But you see, because you're living intentionally now, you're following the right path. I call it my North Star.

I know a lot of people do, but I've been working on this, finding my direction. Remember, your North Star is not a thing, it's a direction, it's a path that creates wonderful opportunities. And you see, I found when I did this deeper dive myself with my puzzle book and all those things.

My North Star isn't found with having complete freedom. It wasn't. But it was revealed to me through creating enough support to hear myself, give myself space to listen.

And that's a lovely place to be in your continuing exploration to create your best self. So let's ask ourselves a few questions. And again, you might want to write these down, you might want to, you know, just set some time and just come back to this, because these are really important questions.

They're easy, but they're important. And you remember, in simplicity, there's genius. And these are just wonderful, simple questions, but they dive so deep.

So you've listened to me ramble on. But here's the question, what does freedom really mean to you? So the question, what does freedom really mean to me? Maybe where has freedom and too much freedom created confusion in your life, you know, all that stuff, the noise, the chaos. But the flip side, where has structure become too much controlling, as it were, and then open it up? What supports me without restricting me? What are the things I can do? The things I've learned that supports me without restricting me? You know, we talked about those anchors, those three anchors, what makes a great day or a good day? What are those gentle anchors that would make tomorrow just that little bit better? And if that was to be that 1%, what would it be to have that good day? What are the three gentle things that you do that just create a good day? And this is what really got me, the question that made me really think and in some ways, you know, give myself a little bit of a bollocking.

What am I trying to force that might grow naturally with support? Because I was trying to force stuff. I really wanted it. And it didn't come until I gave myself support, the support was listening for me.

It was just listening, being available to myself, because I didn't know that I knew. But I did know. I just had to get out of the way.

And that's what happens. So here's what I want to ask you. I obviously want you to do all of that.

But I want to ask you a couple of questions. But me, what are your relationships with freedom? I'd love you to email me this feedback at personal development unplugged.com because I'm so interested, because it will help my path, my growth, my understanding of freedom, and relationships to freedom. You've heard about mine now I've told you about it.

Maybe what are your those anchors that really give you a great day? What are the things in your life that allows you to feel free? Real free, not that chaos of freedom, but real freedom, where you can explore, create and be you. And what are the things that support you that that make you feel supported? You see, I'd love to know those because I'll pinch them off you. But also, I'd like to share them with other people too.

You see, also, I want to encourage you to share this. Because there are people out there who need to hear this conversation. They really do.

And hopefully these are conversations. Another, they come from deep inside me. They're very personal conversations.

I'm expanding out into a way that the things I've learned, the things I share. And I'd like you to share this too, because people do need to hear these type of conversations to reflect, to create and live their best life. So maybe just share.

And also that blooming subscribe button, the follow button, please press that because that's going to help help this grow for other people to find it on the old platforms that you listen to. So here's the thing. Let's bring it.

Let's bring it all back together. Let's bring it all back together. I've done my little call to action.

I've really gone deep into my thoughts. Maybe freedom isn't what you're looking for, isn't what you want. Maybe freedom isn't doing whatever you want.

When you think about it. Maybe freedom is creating a life that supports what matters most. Who knows? Got to get a grips to that.

Just maybe. The structure that you've been resisting, well I've been resisting, is actually the support you've been looking for. But it's this structure that I'm giving you.

Structure to be free, as it were. Because we need a little bit of this. A little bit of that.

And as we say, that is harmony. Hey, have more fun than you can stand. Keep following that blooming North Star.

Find your path. Find your direction. Live the life until it bursts.

Because it's time to fly. Fly to that North Star. See you next time for deeper, little series of FMQs.

And let's get thinking and doing and moving. Enjoy our life. Until next time, my friend.

I'll see you then.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

FMQ 536 – Freedom or Structure… Which One? Do you really want complete freedom?

I thought I did. No rules. No schedule. Just the freedom to do whatever I wanted.

But the more I explored it, the more I realised something didn't feel right. Total freedom can leave us drifting, while too much structure can feel like a prison.

So maybe we're asking the wrong question.

Perhaps it isn't freedom versus structure at all.

Maybe it's about support versus control.

In this Five Minute Quickie I'm sharing a real part of my own North Star exploration as I try to discover what allows creativity, purpose and meaningful progress without feeling trapped.

This isn't the answer. It's the seed.

In the next longer episode we'll explore how a few gentle anchors can create more freedom, not less.

In this episode you'll discover: * Why complete freedom isn't always as freeing as it sounds. * How too much structure can quietly drain creativity. * The surprising difference between support and control. * Why gentle anchors may be more powerful than rigid routines. * A simple question to begin exploring your own balance.

If you've ever felt torn between wanting complete freedom and needing enough structure to actually move forward, this episode will give you something worth reflecting on.

Please share the episode: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-536-freedom-or-structure-which-one

Ready for the deeper dive?

Follow the podcast so you don't miss the next episode, where we'll explore how to create a life that feels both free and grounded.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Welcome to the personal development unplugged podcast with me Paul, Cloughie and at the five-minute quickie. And in this five-minute quickie, I just want to have a little conversation with you because I've been wondering about something In fact, it's been more than just wondering, it's something that I've been struggling with. You see, it's all about having freedom, complete freedom, or is it? Or do we need structure? Because sometimes, well, I don't know which one I want.

Does that resonate? You see, loving freedom, we all want freedom, don't we? I know I did, and I do. I want total freedom. Well, I thought I did, you know, what does total freedom look like? To do anything you want, whenever you want, but there's a but there, isn't there? And that's what I've been, it's been like a battle for me, because I really want that freedom.

But then, there's a feeling of being lost, lost, you know, because I need some order, because without order, what gets done? Let that roll around inside your mind for a moment. And then, I think, sometimes, we just want complete freedom, and we're just going to Total freedom or complete structure? But, here's the thing that I came up with, and I'm still not there yet, and that's what I want to share with you in the longer podcast. You see, I had this void, because I couldn't make up my mind.

Because it didn't feel right. Total freedom didn't feel right. Total structure didn't feel right.

And then the aha moment came along. Maybe, just maybe, it's not structure. It's not structure versus freedom.

Maybe it's about support versus control. That's a weird difference isn't it? How much support do you need? How much control do you need? And the answers started to emerge and one of the answers came up was, in sort of an aha, intuitive, it came up and it said, I think I need some gentle anchors, not rules. And the thing is, that seems to make sense to me, but I'm still not fully there yet.

I'm still working on this thing. I'm exploring it. I'm sharing it with a few people, but mainly myself.

And I'm getting some answers. And that's where I'd like to go on this longer podcast, the one that follows this, because this is to sow the seed in your mind. Is it something that resonates with you? Maybe you have things that really need some structure, some control.

There are other places where you need freedom and the support to be able to be free. Maybe you're changing your life circumstances, like me. Moving from different roles, and we've talked about roles before, but these things that I used to do, and now I no longer do it.

And I have a path to follow, and I need to find that path. And in that path, is it constrained by freedom? And imagine that being constrained by freedom or structure. So what I want to dive deeply with you is, in the longer episode, I want to find the freedom that we're comfortable with.

And I think the answers will surprise you. I hope that's of interest. And we can just have a meander down this path of exploration.

And I think the things that I find will resonate with you too, as you wouldn't be here. So please have a little thing, let it roll around in your mind. Maybe you do some little bit of diving yourself before the longer episode comes along.

What do you think of freedom? What do you think of structure? What do you think of support? What do you think of control? And then we can dive deeper together. And I believe we'll find the answers. So come with me.

Make sure you don't miss it by clicking on that subscribe or the support support follow button. Don't know where we got that from. To make sure that you don't miss any episode whatsoever.

Because we're going to have fun, but you've got to be there. You've got to come with me, you've got to do some work with me. And then that's when dreams become our reality.

And you make wonderful, subtle changes. So it's only when you look back, you go, wow, that thing I did back then has created such wonders and richness in my life. Didn't seem so at the time, but wow, when I look back now, where I am now, it was so worthwhile.

So if you'd like that type of feeling, come with me on that longer podcast. So until then, have a think and have a fly because it's time to fly. See you next time.

But before you fly, so the 90 seconds of hypnosis tracks. Why have I put hypnosis tracks on a separate website? Well, it's so simple, really. I wanted you to have them all in one place.

So you can look through them all, you can find the particular one you want. I've even made them downloadable. So you can put them on any of your playing devices that you prefer.

You don't need Wi Fi, you don't need the iTunes or whatever, you can put them anywhere you like. You can even burn them onto disk if you want. Where'd you get them? Well, there you go.

I told you it's paulcloughonline.com/podcast. If you're worried about your email address, please don't be because they stay totally safe with me. I only use them to send you out that email and give you access.

Simple as that. I'll send you a link, a special link so you and only you can access those hypnosis tracks because I want them just for you. And the other thing about this is you've taken responsibility.

I don't want to make these open to everyone, just random. You have taken responsibility to listen and be part of this community of personal development. And I want to help you.

I want to help you personally to get your dreams, your goals, and therefore I'm giving you these tools, these protocols, these paradigms, whatever you want to call them, but in deep hypnosis. So just enjoy. Have more fun than you can stand with hypnosis.

Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly.

Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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Resistance- The Fear That Is Stopping Your Success Why do we resist doing the very things we know would move our lives forward?

In this episode, I share a live training session exploring the hidden force behind procrastination, self-sabotage, overthinking, limiting beliefs, and the fear of change. Although these challenges appear different on the surface, I believe they often stem from the same place – fear-based resistance.

We'll look at why your unconscious mind may be holding you back, how overthinking disguises itself as productivity, why perfectionism creates paralysis, and how small steps can dissolve fear far more effectively than giant leaps.

I also share practical ways to work with resistance, including reflection, visualisation, questioning limiting beliefs, and reconnecting with the feeling of where you truly want to go. Because success isn't about forcing yourself forward. It's about understanding what's holding you back and learning how to move beyond it.

In This Episode * Why resistance often shows up as fear rather than laziness * The hidden connection between procrastination, self-sabotage and overthinking * How perfectionism keeps you stuck * Why limiting beliefs create resistance to success * The fear of change and stepping beyond your familiar zone * Using reflection and journaling to uncover answers already inside you * Why small steps beat giant leaps every time * How to create momentum without overwhelming yourself * The question that helps dissolve resistance and create movement

Key Takeaway Resistance isn't the enemy. It's a signal.

When you stop fighting it and start understanding what fear is underneath it, you can begin to move forward with confidence, clarity and purpose. Success often isn't about learning more. It's about removing the resistance that's already stopping you.

Please share with a friend: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/484-resistance-the-fear-that-is-stopping-your-success

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

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Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

#484 Resistance- The Fear That Is Stopping Your Success

. Hey, welcome to the Personal Development Unplugged podcast with me, Paul Clough. And a little while ago, I recorded a live call all about resistance.

Resistance and what resistance is, where it comes from, that fear-based resistance, and how it affects our lives in all different areas. And then how to cognitively be able to deal with that resistance and that fear. And then also added a process that allows you to do it a different way with one very special question.

And I think, well, I thought it was so interesting that I wanted to put that on to the Personal Development Unplugged podcast too. So here it is, have a lesson, have some fun and give me some feedback. It'd be great.

Because we had a discussion about resistance. Resistance and what form resistance plays in our lives and where it shows up, how we can deal with it cognitively, because I think there's always a good space that there are things that we can do just ourselves. And then there was a question that I found that I thought would be absolutely brilliant to go with it.

And we may just do a little process at the end. So resistance. Now, Stephen Pressfield, who's an author, wrote a lovely book.

And most of his books are all about resistance. And he, I think he's one of those, The War of Art. That was the first one I read.

And there's a few more. And it's all about being a creative. He talks about writing a lot.

But it's that creative side where we want to do something, we have something, and we resist doing it. And that resistance, he is saying, is born out of fear. And I think he's right.

Because if you think about anything that we do, or don't do, because we're resisting it, then there's some fear in there somewhere. What the cause is, what the positive intention is, may be different. But I think it's something that we could explore.

So here's a few things that I came up with. One of it was cognitive dissidence, which is basically holding to conflicting beliefs. A typical example of that is a smoker.

A smoker who smokes because they're a smoker. But also, they know, and they believe that smoking causes them bad health. And in the future, we'll do that.

You know, we'll create not such a good ending, probably. Yet they continue to smoke. And they're probably smoking because they believe it does something for them.

They've got two conflicting beliefs. It does good for me, it does bad for me. But the way I see it is, in the cognitive, I can't even say it all the time, cognitive dissidence is things like, it's an intuition.

You know, when you want to do something, or you think you ought to be doing something. And what happens is, I think we've all had it, haven't we? We've all had that feeling where, I'm not sure, it's not a voice, it's not anything concrete. And sometimes we go with it, and sometimes we don't.

But that feeling, I think, is like your unconscious mind connecting with you, and wait, do something, think about something. And I think sometimes when, if you're like me, and you've gone against that feeling, because if the other thing was the right thing to do, you know, either peer pressure, or social or whatever it is, you just think, I think this is the right thing to do because of everything out there. But yeah, I still got that feeling.

Most times it doesn't quite go as good as you thought it would. Sometimes it doesn't go good at all. I can remember a time when I spent days thinking about a particular thing, an opportunity I had.

And I knew peer pressure. Everyone said, no, do it, do it, do it. It's what we've been thinking about.

This is the thing you've been thinking about. You're going to have such a great time when you do this thing. But all the while inside, there was this feeling of, I don't know what, but it wasn't a good feeling.

It wasn't going, yes, Cluffy, go do it. It was, I don't know. And I went against it.

And if you've had those similar examples, I went against it, and it didn't turn out right at all. Yeah, I made a similar decision a few years later. And it did feel, yes, this is the right thing.

So, but there's that fear. But it's like an unconscious signal, I think. So have a think about that.

Have a think about that. There's another area, another area I thought of, which was fear of change. Now everyone says, oh, everyone is, doesn't like change.

Well, it maybe doesn't like change, but it's a bit like, well, I'm in my comfort zone. And you know, what we call our comfort zone, we call it a familiar zone. Because there's that imaginary line, although it doesn't feel imaginary, because we're in this pocket of familiarity.

I can't say the word all the time. Familiarity, nearly got it, nearly got it. And stepping past that line is not sure.

And we resist going past that line. You know, we think it's good for us, but not sure. I'm going to give you a little example.

Everyone who has come to mind mastery, probably had that feeling. You know, I've got this issue, I really want to get rid of it. But you know, there's that thing about being unsure of maybe the result.

But also, I've lived with this for a long time. I know what it is. Doesn't feel good all the time.

But I know what it is. And I know of people who have completely resisted any stepping over that boundary. And it's imposed up here, isn't it? It's our boundary that we put on it.

Because even how bad it is in the world, not knowing what's on the other side. Well, they don't, they don't go past it. But we've all had that experience when we just fear of change, we just go past that familiar zone and things have happened, which can be so brilliant.

Especially if we do it in the right way. But there's that signal of fear. Signal of fear is a resistance.

Where else do we notice it? Have a little think yourself. You see, what about self-sabotage? Now, if you've listened to me over the years, I really have trouble with self-sabotage. Not myself doing it, but listening to people.

Because at one time, it was like a badge of honour. Instead of having this little thing emblem here, it was I self-sabotage and people were proud of it. Oh, yeah, I haven't been able to do that because I just keep self-sabotaging all the time.

No, you don't. It just shows up, doesn't it? And there's reasons why, but it is, there's a resistance to doing the thing that you're doing. And, you know, when you do different things, alternative things that put you off it.

And it's very close to procrastination, which we're going to deal with. And that was a question that Craig came up with in my previous Q&A, doing things that we don't want to do. Why can't we do them? There's a lot of it.

There's that fear of change. These are all interlinked, by the way. You know, the cognitive dissonance.

I know I need to do it. I know it'd be good for me. But yeah, but there's also all the stuff that might not happen.

We've got different beliefs, fear of failure. And then we come to beliefs in a minute. But that self-sabotage is that we do things, but we follow different instincts.

And why is that? And it's like the unconscious. It could be unconscious, conscious. Certainly the two are acting together because it doesn't feel good.

Because we know, you know, as well as I do, when you do these things that not allow you to move on, you have this, it's like clash, isn't it? Things rubbing together. It's that, oh, I know I want to do this. It's that part's integration in some way.

One part of me wants to do this, the other part. And it's all, I think, based underneath a fear. What else? What else comes from or shows up as resistance? Well, I think it's like limiting beliefs.

That was the next thing I came up with. You know, things like, I'm not good enough. And we've all had that.

We've all had that. And if you, again, if you've been around me a lot, you know that I have problems with I'm not good enough as a limiting belief, because I think it masks what the real limiting belief is, and then the real core issue and the real positive intention behind that. But when we have things like I'm not good enough, there's fear in that, isn't there? You know, because of what the effect may be, the result may be, success or failure.

And again, NLP presupposition, there's no such thing as failure. It's only feedback. Well, that's yeah, that's about right.

Unless you don't take the feedback and you do the same bloody stupid thing again, and again, that to me is a failure. Because you have the opportunity to learn, but the fear underneath. And you also get that thing.

And this is what really sometimes bubbles in my head sometimes, because some people will also say I'm not worthy. Now, how many times do you use the term worthy in your normal daily life? You know, to me, it's like Knights of the Round Table. Ah, sire, you're not worthy.

But we come up with it. As a limiting belief, which is resisting going forward to do things. Yeah, positive intention.

Could be fear of failure. But you also get the other beliefs, things that when we go even deeper, I'm stupid. I just can't do it.

Who am I? It's all a form of resistance pulling us back, I think, not letting us go forward. Always wonderful positive intentions. Never get away from that.

Every behaviour we have has a positive intention for ourselves. But there are better ways, as we know, to keep the positive intention and find better behaviours. But we're looking at this resistance and the fear that's underneath it.

What else do we get? And this is, I started to really just go to the edges of my mind, in a way, in my thinking. And then I thought, you're doing a lot of thinking here, Cluffy. Are you overthinking? You know, overthinking is, you know, I'm an options person.

Told people before, I love options. But then sometimes I would have not just because people say one option is not an option. Two options.

Well, they're not options really, because it's either this or that. Three options. Now we've got something to grab hold of and look at the different effects.

But I wouldn't stop at three. I'd go four, five. I've had on a problem up to seven different options where I think I can do this.

And then I get, well, I'm not going to make a move. Because I can't decide which option to take. There's a resistance.

I've told you about my friend. Excuse me. My friend.

Call him my friend, but he was my business partner. But he was my friend. We worked really closely for 15 years.

And I would, we would have a problem. And he would send me away. So you, Paul, you go home.

Have a sit down and have a think about, you know, the way you think. Get your mind maps going, get your options. And let's see where we're going to go.

Come back tomorrow. And we'll, we'll, we'll have a look. And I used to come out with all these options.

And I said, come on, Mike, we're going to have a chat with each one. He goes, no, no, no, no. Pick one.

Can't. He said, pick one. Because you've done the work.

Stop overthinking. Let's take action. Because that's what overthinking stops you doing.

Stops you doing rather. Stops you taking action. Because there's always another thought.

And you see, one of those thoughts might be, well, it's got to be perfect. And that was a little bit of problem. Because everybody, you know, when you have a, have a thought that things have got to be perfect, which is then linked to, I'm not good enough, isn't it? Because if I'm not good enough, I've got to be perfect.

He said, I might be good enough. But guess what? As we know, nothing is perfect. So you're always going to fail on trying to achieve perfecticity.

I think that's the word I used last time, because it isn't a word, but it's a great word. Perfecticity. But it's not going to get there.

So there's that resistance with failure and with fear underneath, isn't there? Overthinking. Can you see these are all these different things that we do in our daily lives that I never, at the time, before I got into this little topic, I never really thought about too much as fear. Yeah, one or two obviously came up in the work that we do.

But generally, some of these things, well, I didn't think overthinking was fear. But when I thought back as I was preparing here, yeah, I did have a sort of fear of making mistakes. Maybe I can't, I got to find the perfect answer.

And as we know, there's no perfect answer. And if you take action, you can always take small steps of action, which means then if something isn't quite going right, you get back on course by taking a different small step. And what else is there? There's the other badge of honour.

Procrastination. Oh, I always procrastinate. No, you don't.

Don't always procrastinate. I'll tell you that now, because you'll see those people who always procrastinate will do things that they want to do. But we find, I think you can define procrastination as just putting things off.

Just putting things off. And we can even put off, if you remember, coming here, coming to mind mastery. How long and hard did you overthink, maybe, put off the decision to come to mind mastery? You know, was that fear of changes there still? Was there those limiting beliefs really playing up? Coming to the fore? Did you sabotage it a little? You can see how this all interlinks and there isn't just one standalone area of resistance.

They all have their own different steps interlinked with each other. You know, you can even procrastinate on growth. We're here in the mind mastery, not just to let go of your core issue.

You think you do. You think that's what the aim is. But no, that's part of it.

It's all about developing ourselves into the person we are meant to be. That best version of ourself. But it can be scary, can't it? Have a little, again, stepping out of that comfort zone, familiar zone, changing.

And because that's scary, and what is scary? A little bit of fear. So there's a few areas. I'm sure there's more.

Sure, there's more. Maybe you could have a think about different areas of your life, where you maybe come up with different parts of where you've resisted moving forward. Dreams, goals.

And I think you'll find either they fall into those areas. Or if you find another area, you'll find how they link. They all have a limiting belief in it, maybe.

Maybe there's a fear of change. Maybe it's, you know, part of overthinking, procrastination, fear of change, all those things. But then I thought, having gone through that, I wanted to come up with some solutions.

Things that we could do to ease this resistance, to let it go, really. Because we shouldn't really base our decisions on fear. Because if you're in a negative emotion, that is not the right emotion to make choices, is it? Do we have to step out of that? And I wanted some cognitive ones, things that we could do with our conscious mind, and our unconscious, but it's led by our conscious mind thoughts, things that we can do.

And we can do them now, we can actually create the behaviours. So going back over that list, let's go back to cognitive dissonance, where we hold different beliefs. And we've got that feeling, we don't quite know what, what can we do? Literally, what can we do? And as I thought about this, I thought, well, that's what we do in journaling, isn't it? Self-reflection.

We write about areas of our life, that sometimes, and I tend to find, this is maybe just me in journaling, I tend to err on the negative, not the negative, but the problematic areas of my life, the things I need to deal with, as opposed to all the good things. Getting better at it now, recognising and being, you know, getting gratitude with that, but self-reflection. Now, also have, as you know, I think I've, sure I've said it before, call it a puzzle book.

It's a really complicated book, it's a book of plain pages, basically, where as I open it up, if I've got an issue, I can, and I love mind maps, I can put the problem in the centre of that page. If I open it up, it's a nice big page. Plenty of room to think, not overthink, but to reflect.

And I can then reflect and journal around that particular issue, self-reflection. And when you do that, and it doesn't always happen straight away, you do your thoughts and you leave a few bits. I love a mind map that has a few tails with nothing on, because you're saying to your unconscious mind, you can think of something, let's add it.

And so when you go for your walk or you're out doing things, you get those aha moments, that epiphany. Have you noticed most epiphanies never really happen when you journal or when you're writing, it's when you're out, where you're with, ah, just listen to something, this is the thing. But I believe it's come from that reflection, reflecting about your beliefs.

But we'll think about that in a minute. It's giving yourself time just to pause. And when you're pausing in your thinking, and you've got your own positive intention, I want to reflect about this, I want to find an area, your state is different than fear.

You're in a productive state, as it were, positive state. And that's why I think the answers start to come. You know, we've stepped out of that emotion that we were in.

And we're looking for answers, especially if we start with the positive intention, I'm going to, you know, reflect on this to try to find the answer. I wonder what the answers will come, what answers will come that will lead me to something new. And when you say that to your unconscious mind, I think it just comes up, it will come up, but you've got to do the effort first.

Okay, what about the fear of change? Well, what could you do about the fear of change? What can you do? Well, a lot of people think that change is massive, you've got to do this big jump of change, big leaf of faith, everything's got everything, throw everything out and start afresh. That's bloody frightening, isn't it? That is frightening. That's where fear is.

But what about taking small steps? You know, this is where we get to the edge of our familiar zone. And we don't leap way past it. We take one small step.

And we take smaller steps. Now, isn't this how we do our goals? We don't jump to the next part of the goal. One of the metaphors I used to love, I don't even know who told me or whatever, but it was all about you never try to jump over across a river or stream that's too wide.

Because when you do, you're going to get wet, which is like taking too big a step to your goal. But you find a place where there's some stepping stone, and you take one small step onto that next one, and then the next one. And then you find those steps get bigger naturally, as you're building confidence and competence.

Again, you've got a different emotion now, not through fear, because you're seeing what is happening, you're judging, you're looking at the results in those small steps, which give you the confidence. And if it's still too big a step, I'm gonna find a smaller step. And that's when we realise when we go past that edge of this familiar zone, that is self-imposed.

We take that small step out and you go, Oh, actually, that's not too bad. I remember saying in the actual recording that didn't work out, that there was metaphors in mind. It's a book by two people, and I can't remember their names.

It was a long time ago that I went to one of their courses on metaphors and minds. And it's all about we live our lives in metaphors. This is just another set of processes.

And it was, it seemed to come as a more often than not, that people metaphor would be, there'd be a wall of some kind that they couldn't see through. They couldn't look over the top. It seems huge.

And it stopped them moving forward. But with that process, it was literally in the metaphor, removing some of the bricks, maybe you can remove one and look through it. Maybe you could make a set of steps and look over and then notice what's on the other side.

But taking those small steps allow you to see what's over the other side, without making the big jump, which is fearful. But taking a little step, well, that's easy, isn't it? Because I can always go back. But if I go forward a little bit, and what happens is that if there is a zone, if we make it a little bit bigger at the top, that's moving out there, the whole diameter of that circle gets bigger, it matches the whole path.

It seems to just happen that way. So that's fear of change. What about self-sabotaging? What can we do to stop us having this badge of honour? What can we do? Well, I think it's all about setting clear goals.

I tend to find people who self-sabotage just don't really know where they're going. They haven't even thought about it. So we have a clear goal that we want to do.

We may, if we want to do a little bit of visualisation, notice what that goal would be like when we get there, to make sure it is the goal that we want to do. Because why would you self-sabotage or even just sabotage a goal that we really want? Because now we know what it feels like. We don't stay there, we come back out of that feeling.

So we know that we haven't got it, and it's a direction we're going. But we've got that feeling of the wish fulfilled. But how do we do it? We take small steps.

We may reflect. See, they're all interlinked again. We're using strategies from each of these little boxes.

I draw them in boxes because I'm a mind mapper. But they're all interlinked, and we can take the skills and resources from each one. So that's how we can get rid of self-sabotage, get a clear vision of where we're going, what it will feel like.

Therefore we're motivated to actually do it. It's a self-sabotage. Limiting beliefs.

I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy, Your Honour. Your Honour, what can we do to really work on limiting beliefs? I did say cognitively, but we've also got module six, remember? Module six on that timeline set of processes.

One of them is releasing a negative belief, a limiting belief. But how do we do that? The actual process itself is a lovely process. I love timeline therapy.

But it allows the unconscious mind to learn from the original event, the root cause. And when you learn from the root cause, you don't need the emotions, which is the first part of those module six. But we don't need the limiting belief either, because we've learned from it, and we can then form positive beliefs from the experience that we've been missing out on.

But again, you can begin to think and go, well, is this belief that I have, I'm not good enough, actually true? Because I'm not good enough is a bloody great generality, isn't it? It's everywhere. I'm not good enough. No, specifically, where are you not good? And where are you good? Because if you're good at different areas of your life, then I'm not good enough doesn't hold water.

It means you've got a strategy of being good enough. And if you took that strategy and put it into the one that you've been using, I'm not good enough in, unconsciously, you'll go, that's a safe way of being, which is one of the things we do in NLP, take a different context, where you have the skills and, and beliefs and emotions and put it into another one and try it out. That's what hypnosis is, isn't it? You try things out, and then the unconscious mind will choose.

Well, that's what we do. Giving the unconscious mind choice, choice to do the things when they're appropriate and let go of the things that are inappropriate. The other question you could put is, well, where did this bloody belief come from? Now, I can remember when I've been talking to people going below the, I'm not good enough belief.

They've come up with things like, I'm stupid. And when they've looked back, that's what someone said to me. Or is that one time that's now generalised everywhere else? It doesn't make sense.

In fact, it's not even my belief. Now, is it mine is a question? Is that really my belief? Or is it have I picked it up along the way? What's the data that I'm relying on? Because sometimes we have a belief and you go, I can't even find where it came from. Or there's nothing that bears a foundation of truth in it.

It's just words. And when you get to it's just words. Oh, well, they're just words.

What's a better belief that will support me through this? overthinking, all these options, ever such an easy way, but it is a little bit, you give yourself time, not a lot of time, you give yourself a time to think, and then take action. So I'm going to think about this issue for the next half hour. Whatever you think is appropriate, but don't be.

Well, I always take five hours to do it. That's because you're overthinking. No, I'm going to do this in an hour or whatever, and then go, Okay, I'm now going to take action.

But how do we take action? Small steps, maybe that visualization, and the feeling of the wish fulfilled, knowing where you're going, if you start from the end and work backwards, and then you go, Okay, well, if I take this one small step, then I'll see the options. And if there's anything I have to mitigate, I can mitigate it and keep moving forward. It's one of the parts of the new behavior generator, which I think is module two, where we get our unconscious mind to look at the bigger picture and hold the smaller steps in mind.

So we've always got that connection and continuum. So that's overthinking. I say, if you are an overthinker, that is something that's quite difficult.

But then you go, No, sorry, I'm just going to do it. I'm not going to overthink this, because does overthinking work? No, it doesn't. It's in the title, it's overthinking.

Thinking works, overthinking doesn't. Procrastination. Well, I think, if you really want to get rid of procrastination, you have to be focused.

You have to understand what you're trying to achieve. So that's the first one. What is it I'm trying to achieve, which is a bit like self-sabotage, very much.

These are all interlinked. Remember, you get focus on what you want. Now, here's the thing.

And this is the thing that you have to do. You have to do both parts of this process. The first part is, what's the pain of not doing this? Real pain.

And if I don't do it, because a lot of people don't realise the pain of, you know, when they get to, when they procrastinate and they put off doing what they're going to do, in the end, they're going to do it anyway, aren't they? That's what we do. We know we've got this thing that we have to do by the end of next week, and I put it off, put it off. And then we do it on the last day.

And it's painful. And the thing is, it's not as good as it could be. And I've bloody had these thoughts all the way through trying to worry, anxiety, and putting it off and then creating something from a negative emotion and the beliefs that go with it.

See that pain, see that failure, feel that failure, if there is a failure. I like failure in this one. I want you to really feel how bad it could be.

And then you change state. That didn't happen, because it hasn't happened yet. Because it's not going to happen.

This hasn't happened yet. Because that's in the future. You haven't got to that point where you've got to, you know, finish this project or whatever.

What's the other one? The pleasure. What am I trying to achieve? What would happen if it went absolutely wonderfully? Now I did all the things I started early. In fact, if I started now, in this relaxed state, I'd get it done before I didn't have time to tweak it, make it even better.

I'd be really pleased and proud of what I'm doing. And I know when people see it, they're going to be pleased and proud. They're going to be thinking good things of me.

Other opportunities are going to come along because of the things I've done. And plus, I've probably done it and I've got time to spare where I can relax and feel good about myself. And the positive belief that's going to come from that, the confidence, because I'm confident in what I'm doing, and I've demonstrated it.

And I did it with ease. Time to spare. And I feel so relaxed about it.

Put the two together. Which one do you want? It's a no brainer, isn't it? I want to go for that pleasure. That's why you have to do the two together.

Don't want to stay in pain. But I really want you to get into that state of pleasure and go, okay, now let's do a plan. Let's think a bit for the next bit.

Let's see what steps I've got to do. What is a wonderful belief I would have to have? Because I now know where I'm going to go. I've done that visualisation.

I've got the feeling of the wish fulfilled. See, they're all true. And the small steps.

Just get there. All seems to work. They're the things you can do cognitively.

But if you remember, I said there's a question. And the question is this. Because this what if seems to just get you into that state.

You know, if you're worried about something, you have this resistance, this fear of, you know, doing something, fear of change, fear of failure, fear of anything, which has caused you to have this cognitive dissonance, fear of change, self-sabotage, limiting beliefs, overthinking, procrastination. Just think of what you're doing and go what? What if it went, feel it? What if I was able to access every resource I need in a wonderful calm and comfortable manner? What if I did this in the time available and just did it bit by bit with ease? What if this thing I'm changing went so well? What opportunities would come my way? How would my life change for them? So if it's okay, I just want to finish off I know it's not as long as a normal Q&A, but I haven't got interaction with people. I wonder if you could bring to mind something that you've been, not a big struggle, not a 10 out of 10, just something where you've been indecisive, where you've had that maybe cognitive distance, or you've had the fear of a little bit of change here, or I've been self-sabotaging or putting things off.

Have this little thought of me, why me? Am I good enough for this? Should I be here? Bring to mind that particular issue, and if you would, just allow your eyes to close for a moment. And as you bring that issue to mind, take a wonderful in-breath with me. That's right, hold it for a moment or two, and let it out long and slow, as if you're being drawn inside as you breathe out.

And as you breathe out, and breathe in, nice and gently. Maybe you could wonder inside, what would it be like to be three times as comfortable as I am now? What would that feel like now? That's right, so, so comfortable. And what would it be like if every muscle, every fibre of me just relaxed? And as you relax with every breath, every in-breath being more gentle than the one before, drifting deeper, just for a moment, you have that little issue in mind.

Giving yourself permission, and giving your unconscious mind permission, just ask the question, what if I did this really well? What if I was able to access all the skills and resources that I have inside to make this a success? What would that be like? What if I brought all my competence and confidence and energy, all the positive energy to this, and it was such a success? What if having done that, having done this, I was to attract wonderful opportunities? The changes would be so wonderful. What if I was able to establish those small steps to find my way to success? What if I was to have the most powerful set of supporting beliefs, positive beliefs that empowered me? What would that feel like? What behaviours would I begin to do? What emotions would support me to creating this achievement, to be able to celebrate? What if I was to look back having made those changes and felt so grateful, so good? Yeah, and feel that feeling, and you could be so grateful because you and your unconscious mind are now as one, aligned to creating the success you deserve. Feel the feeling, and feel that connection with your best friend, and when you're ready, knowing and being confident, then you're going to find a way now.

Your unconscious mind will create all that you need, access all that you need to create that success, to create that wonderful change in a special way. Yeah, with that wonderful sense of competence and confidence, you can take a lovely in-breath and just open your eyes. And there we go, we're back, we're back.

I really hope you enjoyed that, really apologize for the problems we had, but I wanted to bring this to your attention, because I think it's really important to know you've got different things, it's that we haven't just always got hypnosis, but there are things that we could do, and things that we experience in life, that we can get better, make changes, do the things that we want, and take control, and become the real driver of our bus. We're going in a direction, we're driving that way. Joseph and I will help you steer occasionally, just keep you on track, but you have it all, you really do.

So there you go, thank you so much, and do enjoy, and I will see you on my next Q&A, and let's hope everything goes 100% the way it should do. Well, not 100%, because it never will with me, I tell you that now. We'll aim for as close as I can.

Enjoy, I'll see you the next time. Bye-bye now.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

What's Stopping You Reaching Success? You know there's something you need to do.

A conversation. A decision. A project. A change.

And yet... you don't do it.

We often call it procrastination or self-sabotage, but what if that's not what's really happening?

In this Five Minute Quickie, I explore what might actually be stopping us from moving forward, why change can feel uncomfortable even when we know it's right, and how unconscious resistance may be behind many of the fears, doubts and limiting beliefs that keep us stuck.

This isn't about forcing yourself to do more.

It's about understanding what's really going on underneath.

In this episode: * Why we resist change even when we want it * The hidden cost of limiting beliefs * How fear disguises itself as procrastination * Why overthinking keeps us stuck * The one emotion that may sit underneath it all * A preview of the deeper dive to come

Questions to consider: * What are you currently avoiding? * What would happen if you embraced the change instead? * What would life feel like without that resistance?

The deeper dive is coming next, where we'll explore what's really driving this unconscious resistance and how to move through it.

Please share: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-535-whats-stopping-you-reaching-success

Remember if you want to see the video, go here: https://youtu.be/4U14pVlGWAA

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey, welcome to the five minute quickie. The seed of something really interesting.

And the thing is, question to you. A question. A question I've been thinking about.

We've all got them. We've all got that thing. The thing that you have to do.

But for one season, one reason, guess what? You don't. I mean, some people will call it bloody self-sabotage. Some will call it procrastination.

And what gets me is some people wear those badges of honour. I hope you're not one of them. But would it be important, would it be important to you to learn what's causing that? And how to do the things you're not doing? Would that be important? You see, there's that feeling we get, isn't there? That feeling we get when change comes.

And I know about this because I've had it so many times before and I've really resisted it. I've resisted that bloody change. Even, even, and this is, I don't know, this is hard for me to admit.

Even when I know I shouldn't be resisting it. I know it's wrong, but I've resisted it all the same. That's really weird, isn't it? And it just feels weird, doesn't it? So what if, here's a question for you, what if we could choose to embrace the right change? Yeah.

And have or be part of the success that would bring. Because there's a special way of doing it. You see, sometimes, sometimes I think it's those limiting beliefs that we have.

You know the ones. I'm not good enough. Oh, I don't belong here.

I'm not worthy. They'll find me out. All those ones.

And with each one of those negative beliefs, even though they're trying to do something for us, I'll explain that. There's an anxiety around it, isn't there? There's a fear. There's a loss of confidence.

Bloody self-esteem gets a whack around the ears, doesn't it? What would it be like? Here's a question. What would it be like if we didn't have those negative beliefs? We didn't have that anxiety. We didn't have that fear.

We didn't have that loss of confidence or that lack of self-esteem. What would that be like? Do you want to know how? Because that's where I'll be going. I'll explain that in a minute.

And there's another thing that we do is when we get this feeling that's sort of stopping us. I'm not going to call it self-sabotage or procrastination. It's just that feeling we have, that unknown feeling.

We tend to overthink it, don't we? And it's that feeling of being stuck. What shall I do? It's that feeling. What's that about? That's what I want to know.

That's what I've been thinking about. Now, everything, and I know that's a big generalisation because everything is a big generalisation, but I think it's pretty 99% bang on the money on this one. Everything I've just mentioned is, well, we could put it down to an unconscious resistance.

You're not consciously stopping doing things. It's an unconscious resistance, your unconscious mind. And that unconscious resistance is linked to one emotion.

That's all. One emotion. Now, final question.

If you didn't have that resistance, you didn't have that stuck feeling, you didn't have those negative beliefs, you didn't have that old feeling, all that anxiety, lack of confidence, low self-esteem, all the stuff that's stopping you moving, moving on, doing the things that you just, well, to get success. And success could be in everything, to live a rich life in every different way. What would that be like? Just think about it now.

What would it feel like? Well, that's where I'm going. That's where I'm going on the deeper dive. So in the next episode, we're going to explore this.

And it's really fascinating. It's interesting. What really happens when you start changing yourself? Because personal development isn't just about changing you.

It's about changing everything. It creates ripples in the whole of your life. Internally, externally.

It affects you, the people around you, the little old planet Earth. And when we get it right, we're on the money. So if that's of interest to you, and it's important to be able to do the things you're not doing that you know you need to do, come with me on the deeper dive, the longer podcast.

To do that, to make sure you don't miss it, press that bloody subscribe button, or that follow button. Because it's there somewhere on that listening device that you have. Press that so that the next time the longer podcast comes along, the deeper dive, you've got it all in one.

And if you know somebody who is always self-sabotaging, procrastinating, always has this problem with change, tell them about it. Share this episode. Share the Personal Development Unplugged podcast.

And then we can do some real good stuff together. Okay? I'll support you in every way I can. But I will see you on the longer podcast.

Well, I'll be in your ears. Have fun. Time to fly.

So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe. It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people. And we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them.

And this will help. Help the podcast. It will help you.

And it will help, well, everyone that you know. So if you could just subscribe and share. Share this podcast to everyone you bloody well know.

That's the only cost. Pay it forward to everyone. And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet Earth of ours and the people in it.

Let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay. Okay.

You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough.

It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

Are You Thinking Too Much to Hear Yourself?

Have you ever noticed that the harder you think about something, the less clear it becomes?

In this episode, I explore the difference between overthinking and intuition. Not the mystical stuff, but that quiet inner knowing that often gets drowned out by endless analysing, making lists, asking everyone else's opinion and searching for certainty that never quite arrives.

I share two personal stories. One where I ignored my intuition and paid the price, and another where I listened to a small inner nudge that completely changed the direction of my life.

Together we'll explore why overthinking feels productive but often keeps us stuck, how intuition tends to whisper rather than shout, and why clarity comes more from listening than thinking harder.

There's also a simple reflective process to help you quieten the noise, reconnect with your own inner guidance and discover the next small step that feels right for you.

Because maybe the answer isn't something you need to figure out.

Maybe it's something you already know.

In This Episode * Why overthinking often creates more confusion than clarity * The hidden cost of needing certainty before taking action * How intuition feels different from analysis * My narrowboat lesson and what it taught me about ignoring inner guidance * The small decision that led me into hypnosis over 26 years ago * A simple process to help you listen beyond the mental noise * Why the next right step is usually smaller than you think * Learning to trust yourself a little more

Questions to Reflect On * Where am I overthinking instead of listening? * What has my intuition already been trying to tell me? * What does "quietly right" feel like? * What's the next small step that feels right enough? * What would change if I trusted myself more?

Please share this episode (and the podcast itself) with a friend or many

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/483-intuition-vs-overthinking/

Share your thoughts or questions: feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Intuition versus overthinking. Are you thinking too much to hear yourself? It's a deep title, isn't it? Oh, by the way, welcome to the Personal Development Unplugged podcast with me, Paul. I'm going to support your dreams.

And sometimes we think too much, don't we? See, have you ever noticed the more you think about something, the less clear it gets? You can go round and think about all the pros, think about all the cons, because there's so many of them. And you get even more pros. And then you can think of even more cons because of the more pros.

And guess what? You end up exactly where you started. Yeah? Completely where you started. And then guess what? You tend to think, oh, I better think some more, because I haven't got enough.

And that is the problem. Here's maybe something to think about. What if? What if you're not stuck because you don't know, but because you are thinking too much? But there's an add-on to that sentence.

Because you're thinking too much to hear what you already know. That's weird, isn't it? You see, sometimes you don't know that you know. You just don't know it, but you do know, and we get in the way.

You see, let's have a think. What do we do when we have this looping experience? We're going to make some lists, aren't we? When we're thinking, get all the lists out, get all our options. You probably even go and ask other people to find out what they want.

And guess what? We feel really busy, don't we? We feel like we're doing something, but getting nowhere. And I think that's mistaking. Mistaking thinking as getting somewhere.

Now, thinking is good. Don't get me wrong. You need a bit of thought.

But how much if we're getting in the way? You see, even that thought, am I doing the right thing? Because I've been there. Does that resonate with you just a little bit? You know, it feels like we're doing something. I'm working on this thing, doesn't it? And it does feel productive.

It does feel just a little bit clever. But in the end of the day, we're just spinning, aren't we? We're just spinning. You see, I think overthinking is just loud.

Everything going on is urgent. It's a bit frantic. But intuition is quiet.

It's simple. It's actually almost too simple. But as we say with old Mr. Einstein, in simplicity, there's genius.

See, I can remember a long, long time ago when I had the opportunity to buy a narrowboat, a canal boat. It was something that I think I wanted, I thought. And I finally had an opportunity to get into the purchase of one.

And what would normally have been that quick a decision, because everyone kept saying, Well, this is what you wanted, Paul. This is what you wanted, Cloughie. Go out and do it.

But I couldn't make that decision. I really couldn't. And it took days and days, what should have been minutes, maybe hours, but certainly days and days.

And I had this feeling, I had this really weird feeling about it, which I kept pushing aside. And do you know what? It was the worst bloody decision I ever made. Because initially it was okay, but then it just went worse and worse.

And all I ended up with was bloody regret and all the things that came from it. I wasn't listening. I didn't listen to that feeling.

I pushed it away. But then there's something else that I did. My journey, my hypnosis journey, way back 26 years ago.

Going to learn hypnosis for reasons I didn't really know, because I didn't realise it was my path to NLP and everything else. But hypnosis was just a stepping stone. I didn't really want to be there, do it, didn't understand it.

I just wanted to get on to NLP. But when I got there, something felt different. And I listened to it.

It was like giving me a little nudge, saying, I know this isn't what you thought it was, but I think it's something that's really good. And what happened? Well, 26 years later, I'm here talking to you. And I've done hypnosis, NLP, masterpractice NLP, timeline therapy, trainer of NLP, trainer of hypnosis, hypnotherapy.

What a bloody thing from that little nudge. And the thing is, same bloody person. Same brain up here.

The difference? I listened. I listened with all my senses. I listened to me.

And that's the difference. You see, here's the thing. Really, we're not trying to find an answer.

We're trying to hear it. You see, you've got a multitude of experiences, learnings, wisdom. You've been here a long time.

However long it is, it could seem a long time. But we want to hear it. We want to expand it.

You see, the answers you're looking for are already formed. They're in your unconscious mind. They're processing right now.

And when you start to overthink and impose this conscious bit, it's interference. It's mucking up the signal. There's no clarity.

You know what? Sometimes I say to myself, get the fuck out of your way, Cloughie. Get out of the way. Let the real you do the work it's here for.

You see, overthinking is an intelligence. It's just trying to, I don't know, control the uncertainty. And no one likes uncertainty, but you need a little bit of uncertainty.

Because if you were certain about everything, it would be a flatline, boring, bloody life, wouldn't it? So we need a little bit of uncertainty. Because that's where life begins, I think. And here's the thing.

Here's another thing, because I say here's the thing quite a lot. And it's the thing that no one tells you. The more you try to force the clarity, the further away it feels.

Because it's your unconscious mind going, no, no. Listen to me. Get out of the way.

Let intuition, let those aha moments come. Until it feels right. You see, clarity doesn't come from thinking harder.

It comes from listening better. Because that's what you've got to do, listen better. You know, maybe we could think of quietening the noise so you can hear the signal.

Let's take a moment. Let's just take a moment. If it's safe to do so.

If it's okay. Maybe you could close your eyes, if it's okay. I just want your attention, your focus attention on you.

Take away the distractions. And if you could do that. Again, providing it's safe to do so.

Just bring to mind something you've been overthinking. Something you've been trying to solve. And then just notice all the noise around it.

Yeah, just all that noise. You see, if you were to label that. That's called analyzing.

That's called doubt, doubting. And you know, it's that what if voice. Because a what if voice will take you on and on.

So let's just imagine for a moment. Turning that volume. Turn the noise down.

And as the noise softens. Notice. What's left? What feels right? Not logically.

But quietly right. Because that's the signal. So listen with all your senses.

Here. Now. With that feeling.

Just tune into that feeling. You don't have to plan the whole journey. One step at a time.

Just ask yourself inside. Knowing that nothing has to be perfect. Nothing's guaranteed.

Everything is just right enough. What is? The first small step that feels right. That's your question.

Just ask yourself. What's the first step that feels right? Remember again. Not perfect.

Not guaranteed. Just right enough. And notice.

Notice that that step usually feels too simple. It's almost too obvious. That's right.

And you're not committing to this forever. Because it's just one small step. In the direction of the answer.

You see, because intuition doesn't shout out the whole plan. It nudges you to the next step. There.

And open your eyes. Open your eyes. If you did, close them by the way.

And just ask yourself. Take a breath. Just have a look around.

So where's overthinking right now in your life? Let's have some examples. Is it a career decision? Is it creative ideas? Relationships? Starting something new? Because, you know, where have you already had a feeling maybe? But you've ignored it. Yeah? You've ignored it.

What are you waiting for? Certainty? Certainty never comes, does it? Not at all. It doesn't. You see, maybe you're not confused at all.

You're not really. Because it's just that you're not listening. You see, I'm an options person.

And when I get an issue, I love to get as many options as I can. But that just brings worries. And then I try to mitigate those worries.

And then I go back and back until I stop. I've learned to listen now. Listen with those feelings and look for that one small step.

And you say, here's the empowering bit. I believe you already know more than you think you do. Well, I know you know more than you think you do.

Because you don't know what you know. Because you don't know it, but you know it. Weird bit of conversation there.

You see, sometimes you just don't need any more information. You actually need less interference. So instead of pushing, you can choose pause.

Choose to pause for a moment. Instead of trying to force it with that pause, choose to listen. And listen with all your senses.

Go inside and listen. Because sometimes you might get a memory. Sometimes you might get a word on the tip of your tongue.

You might get a feeling. All the words and the memories create that feeling. And all of a sudden, yeah.

And when you do that, things just start to feel easier, don't they? They feel clearer. They really do. You see, when you start, and now I think this is one of the keys, trusting yourself.

When you trust yourself, life begins to change. But it changes in a very quiet, subtle way. But that quiet, subtle way is one of the most powerful ways.

You see, because when you do that, second-guessing disappears. You get more aligned with those decisions. Because why? Because it feels right.

You're not just going to go directly on your feelings. You've got to have the information, but not too much. Enough.

And that creates a confidence in your competence without effort. And you see, when you do that, here's the big win for everybody. Everyone around you, every other person around you, gets to feel it through you.

You become clearer. You become calmer because of that clarity, as it were. And then you can start to model the trust you have over the noise around you.

And it's a little bit like the ripples. You never know how far the ripples of change will go, because they're subtle. It's only when you look back, you notice how far you've come.

You know, creating that wind of change, because you become that butterfly, flapping your wings gently with these wonderful steps and things you're creating in life, and creating a wind of change. So what I'd like you to think about, just reflect on these, maybe. Maybe you get a notebook and just ask yourself, where am I overthinking instead of listening? Maybe you've already missed it.

So what has, here's another question, what has my intuition already told me? Maybe you pushed it away a little bit. Let it come back. Don't push, pause.

There's another question, what does quietly right feel like to you? Maybe you can think back of times in the past when you did follow your intuition, and it was the most wonderful thing to do because you did it in small steps. The ones that go wrong, where we just feel it and do the big step. Now these are small, gentle steps because you're really feeling that.

That wonderful question, what is the one small step I can take today? And you can enjoy the process. And if you did really trust yourself, what would change in your life even more? Yeah. So here we go.

Did that resonate with you? Did it? I'd love to know what came up for you. I really would. And maybe the quiet information you got, the steps.

Please let me know at feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. That's my email address. I'm the only bugger here. Personal replies, all that stuff.

And I think so many people need this reminder that we can be confident in ourselves. So maybe if you could just share this episode with others, because you probably don't know, but every other person is probably got their issue stuck in their head, in the loop. And let's see if we can stop that and start making these wonderful decisions.

And I go back to mine, the one 26 years and still cracking it out, still enjoying every moment of it. Getting that buzz working with a client that changes right in front of my eyes. They do the work.

I do the steering, as it were, to guide them. That buzz has never left me. Seeing how wonderful and how quickly people can change from the most darkest, deepest things that they think will never, ever go.

And they can do it that quickly. And there's so much more I want to share with you. So if you would just press that subscribe button, wherever it is on your listening device of choice, or the follow button.

You know the one. Just so you get all of these through. Some will resonate you more than others, I know.

Some you might think, that's that old BS bug. But there's always a golden nugget in these things if we look for them, listen for them. Set your intention to learn as you listen.

And remember, you drive your own bus. So set your sat-nav in the right direction, where you want to go. Set your intention.

Just listen to your internal sat-nav. Yeah? Because you don't need to think harder. You just need to listen better.

That's all it is. And maybe, maybe, just think of this. Give that overthinking brain of yours a bloody holiday.

Let it have a little rest. Yeah? Because that way you can have more fun than you can stand. Yay! Anyway, I'm going to see you next time.

Have more fun than you can stand. And it's time to fly. I'll see you now.

Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.

Personal Development Unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

Intuition vs Overthinking When thinking harder isn't the answer — listening better is Have you ever thought about something so much… that you ended up more confused than when you started?

You make lists. You weigh up the pros and cons. You ask other people what they think. You go round and round in circles.

And still…

You don't know what to do.

In this Five Minute Quickie, we explore a powerful possibility:

Maybe you're not stuck because you don't know… Maybe you're stuck because you're thinking too much.

Because beneath all that mental noise, there's often something quieter — a whisper, a nudge, a feeling that already knows.

That's intuition.

And the trouble is…

Overthinking drowns it out.

In this episode, I share:

• why overthinking feels productive — but often keeps you stuck
• what intuition really feels like (hint: it rarely shouts)
• how clarity comes not from more thinking, but from listening
• two personal stories where I ignored intuition… and where I trusted it
• why your unconscious mind may already know your next step

And perhaps the biggest takeaway:

You don't need more information. You need less interference.

This FMQ is the seed for a deeper dive where we'll explore how to recognise intuition, trust it, and act on it without slipping back into overthinking.

Because maybe…

The next step isn't something to figure out — it's something to feel.

Please share : https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-534-intuition-vs-overthinking/

Have more fun than you can stand.

Go fly.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hiya. Paul here again on the 5-Minute Quickie, Personal Development Unplugged podcast.

Trusting your intuition or overthinking. Question for you. Have you ever noticed how the more you think about something, the less clear it becomes? What if the reason that you feel stuck isn't because you don't know, but because you might be thinking too much? Have you ever had that gut feeling, and then bloody talked yourself out of it? I know I have.

You see, you do know. You do know. You do know, but, I don't know, maybe you don't trust it.

Thinking might equal trying to control something too much. Intuition is, you know, maybe allowing direction. The thing is, overthinking drowns out what's already there.

And what happens? What happens? You go round in bloody circles, don't you? Round and round. You get the pros and the cons list. And I'm still not sure.

I'm an options person. I write options and options, and I think I'm getting clarity, but I'm not. You can ask everyone.

Ask as many people as you like. Still don't know. I'm still not sure, am I? Have you had that? And the thing is, all of this, you delay taking some action.

Moving on. Because, you know, it's, I don't know. We're just waiting for certainty, I guess.

And the more you think, the more you think, think and think, the further away the bloody answer feels, doesn't it? But, you know, there's a thing about overthinking. There is a thing that we think about when we're overthinking. It feels that we're being busy, doesn't it? It feels a bit noisy sometimes.

We get urgent, and then we start looping in our bloody mind, don't we? But what does it, you know, what does intuition feel like? What does it feel like? Sometimes, for me, anyway, this is me. See if it resonates with you. Intuition feels, I don't know, maybe it's quiet.

Certainly very simple, isn't it? Calm. I think sometimes it's certain, but it's not very loud. It whispers.

And then sometimes it's like a nudge. A nudge. It's nudging you in the right direction.

As I said, it whispers, it doesn't shout at you. And the thing is, here's the thing, here's the thing. You're not trying to find the answer.

That's where it all goes wrong when we're overthinking. You're not trying to find the answer. You're trying to hear it, to feel it, to make sense of it.

And thinking too much just blocks out that bloody signal. You see, you don't need any more information. You've got all the information you need.

You need less interference. Because clarity doesn't come from thinking harder. No, it doesn't.

It comes from listening better. Listening to yourself. Because it's all in there.

You just have to be quiet and listen. Because you've done the work. You see, I don't know, here's a question.

Take a moment, just take a moment for a minute. What happens if you just pause? Just pause and notice what feels right. Just if you stop analysing just for a moment or two.

What would you do next? That's different, isn't it? And on that feeling, what's the first small step that feels just right? That feeling that feels just right. Yeah, you see, we've talked about this before. We've talked about feeling lost.

Now, this might be one of those reasons why we just feel lost. But the thing is, question, maybe you're not lost. I don't think you're lost.

Maybe you're just not listening. It's a thought. So, deeper dive coming up.

How do you tell the difference between intuition and overthinking? How do you tell the difference? How do you learn, or how do you first of all trust that quiet voice? Learn to trust that voice, the voice inside. And then how do you act upon it? Without second guessing yourself and going back to the overthinking. You see, that's where we're going.

That's where we're going on the deeper dive. We're going to get some clarity, get some understanding, and learn to trust. You see, you and your intuition, your unconscious mind, already knows.

You've done the work, you see. And now all you have to do is get out of the bloody way. So, maybe the next step isn't something to figure out anymore.

But something to feel, learning how to feel. Less thinking, less thinking, more trusting. You see, I can remember just very quickly, if you bear with me just for a moment.

I can remember a long time ago, somehow I wanted to have a narrowboat, one of those boats that go on a canal. And I got the opportunity, out of the blue, to own, or part-own, one of those narrowboats. And it had been a goal of mine for ages and ages.

But, you know, something inside me kept saying, I don't think this is right. I should have, if it was right for me, or it was my goal that I really wanted, I should have been able to say yes straight away, and I didn't. It took me about three or four days going backwards and forwards, overthinking.

And I didn't listen. And I didn't feel. I didn't follow that feeling.

And to be honest, bought the boat, it was a disaster. Everything, it started okay, but then it just went completely wrong. Didn't listen.

Then, there's the opposite of what happened to me. And this is years and years and years ago. When I learnt hypnosis.

And I thought to myself, I am not a people person. I'm not interested in people. Well, I'm not interested, I was in it for business.

But something inside kept feeling, there's something here. There's something to carry on, to learn more of. 25 years later, here I am, I'm still learning.

It's absolutely wonderful, the things it's allowed me to do. The people I've seen, the people I've worked with, the changes I've been around. They've been magical.

Not magic, but magical to be part of it. And I listened. And whilst it felt, this is, logically, it didn't, it didn't, this is not you, Paul.

But inside, there was that little feeling saying, this is the real Cloughie. Take a step. And I did, and I say, it's actually 26 years now.

26 years later, I'm still taking steps, learning, enjoying, sharing with you. So come with me. Come with me on this deeper dive.

So we can all learn to think. But most of all, step aside and listen. And make good decisions, good choices.

So come with me on the deeper dive. We're going to have fun. There'll be a process, at least one or maybe two processes, to really get you to, you know, be there with yourself.

I'm looking forward to it. I really am. We're going to have some fun.

In fact, we'll probably have more fun than we can stand. Have fun. Enjoy.

Tell everybody, by the way, share it. Do whatever you can to just share what you know. And if this has interested you, other people will be interested too.

Because they're like you, and they like you. And they'll like you even more for doing it. And subscribe.

Press the subscribe button on that thing you listen to. So when the next deeper dive comes in, boom, it's there. You don't have to think about it.

Okay? Have fun. Look forward to it. And by the way, if you want to just send me a little email, tell me how you're doing, or if there's an area of concern you have, and we want to do another deeper dive on a particular topic, please do.

It's feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. But there you go. Have more fun than you can stand, as I said. And you go fly.

Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly now.

Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

If You're Stuck - Lets Move On - Here's How Episode Overview Ever had that quiet thought…

"I've lost my way…"

Not shouted out loud. Not dramatic. Just a whisper somewhere in the background.

In this episode, I share something personal — a moment where I genuinely felt that. Like the direction had gone. Like something inside me had faded.

But here's what I discovered…

You're not lost. You haven't lost your way. You've simply lost connection with the part of you that already knows.

And when life changes — when you let go of old habits, old roles, even old identities — there's a gap.

A space.

A kind of emotional "void."

And if you don't understand it… it can feel like grief.

In this deeper dive, we explore that space — and more importantly, how to reconnect with your inner direction using a simple but powerful process.

What You'll Discover This episode gently but powerfully shifts how you think about feeling lost:

• Why "feeling lost" is actually a sign of growth, not failure
• How identity is often tied to what you do — and what happens when that changes
• The hidden mistake: looking outside for direction instead of inside
• Why your future self already knows the way
• The key insight:

Your path isn't something you find… it's something you feel

And most importantly…

How to reconnect to that feeling and take your next step with clarity

The Big Insight Most people think:

"I need a plan." "I need to figure it out." "I need the answer."

But what if that's the problem?

Because…

You don't find your path by thinking — you find it by feeling.

Your unconscious mind doesn't work in bullet points and spreadsheets.

It works through:

• Sensation
• Emotion
• Intuition

And when you reconnect with that…

Direction replaces confusion Movement replaces stuckness Certainty replaces doubt

The Process: Reconnecting With Your Inner Direction In this episode, I guide you through a gentle but powerful process to:

1. Step away from overthinking
2. Connect with your future self (the one already living your purpose)
3. Feel what that life is like — without needing details
4. Let that feeling become your compass
5. Ask one simple question:

"If this is who I am… what's the next small step?"

No pressure. No forcing. Just noticing.

Because your answers don't shout…

They whisper.

Key Takeaways * Feeling lost doesn't mean you've lost your way * It often means your old identity is dissolving * The "void" is not empty — it's space for something new * Looking externally keeps you stuck * Your future self is already inside you * Direction comes from feeling first, action second * You don't need the whole plan — just the next step

A Simple Reflection Take a moment after listening and ask yourself:

• What am I trying to replace instead of reconnect with?
• Where am I looking outside… instead of inside?
• What does my "best life" feel like — not look like?
• What's one small step that feeling is nudging me toward?

How This Fits the Journey This episode builds directly from:

FMQ 533 – Why Are You Stuck? Where we explored the fear of losing identity

And leads into:

The Missing Part of Success (#480) Where we bring in mind-body alignment and embodiment

Because the full journey is:

1. You're not stuck — you're protecting something
2. You're not lost — you're disconnected
3. You don't need more thinking — you need alignment

Final Thoughts You don't need to rush this.

You don't need to "figure it all out."

Because…

Your path isn't a destination. It's a direction.

And it reveals itself…

One step One feeling One moment of awareness at a time

Call to Action If this resonated:

• Hit subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next
• Share this with someone who might be feeling a little lost right now https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/482-if-youre-stuck-lets-move-on-heres-how
• And most importantly…

Take one small step today

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Welcome back to the Personal Development Unplugged podcast, with me, Paul. And subject today, the deeper dive today, is I've lost my way.

Or have I? You see, just saying those words, I've lost my way, have you ever said that to yourself? I did, not too long ago, and it was really weird, where, you know, because you don't necessarily say it out loud, but just quietly, in your own mind, yeah? And it's like, I don't know, I just don't know where I'm going anymore. And the thing, here's the thing, here's the thing, it's not that you've lost your way, because you haven't, you haven't lost your way. But I think sometimes it's like you've lost that connection with yourself, with that part of you, that already knows the way.

Which is weird, it's like, you don't know that you know, but you do know, just that you don't know the word is yet. And you see, have you ever noticed, have you ever noticed this? When life changes, because it does, doesn't it? Everything changes, it evolves. When things you used to do seem to fade away, or you decide to change, there's suddenly a space, isn't there? There's a space, it's like a void, a void that needs to be filled.

It's a little bit like grief, isn't it? There's just that void there. And it's, I don't know, it's a funny old thing, that void, because it's as if a part of you knows there's something new happening. And that can be a little bit frightening, can't it? But the other part goes, yeah, okay, but what is it? What is it? And you can look.

I know I did, I looked and I looked. And the harder you look, and the more you look, nothing. It seems you can't grasp it, you can't get hold of it.

It just disappears, this is void. And it's not a void inside here, it's now a void out there. Now I'm tempted to say, does that make sense? But apparently that's not the thing to say.

But it made sense to me, because it actually happened to me. You see, it did feel like grief. It felt I'd lost something.

Not just what I did, but who I was. And that's the thing. I'd made some changes, deliberate changes in my life.

Let some things go. Decided I'm going to change, this is a time for a change, big changes. And the thing is, it was as if I was losing my identity.

And that's a shift, you see. When your identity shifts, directions disappears. It really does.

But here's the thing, it disappears for a while. That's all just for a while. But while you're waiting for that while, it is quite unnerving.

Have you ever had that? It really happened to me a few months ago. And my life was changing, but it felt that I was really losing who I was. I was no longer the person I thought I was, because I'd put my identity into these behaviours, the things I did.

And now not doing them, I felt I was no longer the real Paul anymore. And because when that direction disappears for a while, it's as if you don't know who you're becoming. Because you're not there yet, but you know you're not that anymore.

How can you know though, where you're going, when you make those changes? Because the thing is, you look out there, that's the problem. You look out there for the things to fill it. I did, I looked everywhere.

And the more I looked out there, the less I found, the more it seemed to fade away. But the thing is, what I learnt was, it isn't out there. It was as if I already knew it was inside.

Inside. Because if you've ever been like that, I want to tell you it's in you. It's already in you.

But you just haven't connected again, because that evolution is moving forward. Now the thing is, I got a little bit of insight. I call it my future self-insight.

And I want you to play with me. Just play with me for a minute. I love this bit where we just keep playing.

Imagine this. And yeah, you can close your eyes or you don't, because I just want you to imagine something now. Like a daydream.

Give yourself permission just to be free to daydream in imagination. Use your imagineering. Imagine there's a version of you.

Not perfect, because nobody's perfect. But they are aligned. They're living their purpose.

That you is living your purpose. With purpose. Living a life with purpose.

Feeling a wonderful sense of fulfilment. I say that again. Living with purpose and feeling that sense of fulfilment.

Yeah? That's your best self, isn't it? Think about it now. Wouldn't that be your best self? When you could see yourself over there? They're not perfect, but aligned. They're congruent.

Living with purpose. Feeling that sense of fulfilment. Now, the interesting thing about that, and the thing I found, is that version of you had to walk to get there.

It had to walk a path to get there. It didn't just evolve. Well, it did evolve.

But it wasn't just a poof. Magic. Just because we imagine it.

It's out there. That future self is out there now. And the thing is, when you think about it, well, if they've walked that path now, it's that future you over there.

They know the way. So, maybe, maybe, instead of asking, like I did, what should I do? Because that's what I did. What should I do? And I couldn't find it, because I wanted something.

Maybe I could have asked. I did in the end. What would that version of me over there, living that life of fulfilment, a path, a passion, what would that version of me do next? The next step, as it were.

Now, how are you going to find out? I've already told you that that future version of you is really inside, but we just haven't connected yet. Notice the word yet. So, here's the thing.

I do say that a lot, don't I? Here's the thing. But I do. And do you know what? I'm going to say it even more.

Because I like saying it. Here's the thing, because what I want you to do now is play even more. I want to, because I love doing these things, create a purpose and a process, a real process to help you, because I think it just works.

So, if it's okay, because this is where I want you to find the answers, because you don't have to be like me, being totally lost, just a little bit. Even if you know where you're going, you can check up with this future self of yours to find even more. Because a lot of yours are very conscious, we want it unconscious, aligned.

And the only way to do that, I think, is you have to feel it first. You might think you're intelligent enough to imagine and think about it consciously what you want, but you're not. Nor am I, by the way, nobody is.

But once you start giving information to your unconscious mind with emotion, then your unconscious mind gets it. And now we can go backwards and forwards with that future self. So play, play with me.

Find a wonderful place that you can just be undisturbed for a moment or two, or maybe a little bit longer, where you can just let yourself go into this little bit of hypnosis, maybe. It's a guided visualization. Maybe it's like a meditation.

Whichever you want to call it, that'll be what it is. But find a place where you'll be undisturbed. Yeah? Because I want you to close your eyes, to take away all the distractions, and where you can truly focus inside, because that's where we said it was.

You don't have to look on the outside, you're looking on the inside. So if that's okay, if it isn't, by the way, either just listen to this gently, not too much, to get an idea of the process, but ideally just bookmark this point, and then come back to it. Okay? So you can really devote focused awareness on yourself.

Give yourself permission to spend time on you, because you're the only person who can give yourself that permission. Okay? And when you do that, finding that comfortable place where you'll be, as I say, undisturbed. Remember, this is hypnosis.

I'm a therapist, but not your therapist. But we're only looking now to your future self and guidance. So just take a wonderful deep breath.

Hold it for a second or two. And as you breathe out, just allow your eyes to close. Yeah? Just allow your eyes to close.

There you go. And breathe gently in, making every in-breath more gentle than the one before. And then with every out-breath, allow yourself to be gently pulled inside to that wonderful place of comfort.

And as you do that, that comfort can grow. You could even wonder to yourself right now, ask yourself the question, what would it be like to be three times more comfortable than you are right now? And feel that comfort now. Feel it going through every cell of your body as you breathe, easily and effortlessly, where you and your unconscious mind can get closer and closer.

Now, just let go. Let go of trying to figure out anything at the moment. No thinking.

No thinking whatsoever. Just enjoy the just feeling. That's right.

We're just going to feel and imagine that you are already living your best life. Yeah? If you take that future self back into you right now, living your full, wonderful best life, not the details, just the feeling. Imagine how that would feel, living your best life.

Just get that quiet sense of it. Yeah. Just notice that.

Allow it to maybe grow a little bit more intense so you could really feel it. How does it feel in your body? Maybe just notice. Where do you feel it in your body? It might be all over.

It might be in that special place where you just feel this living your best life. Maybe you could describe it to yourself. How does it feel? Is it warm? Does it have a sense of ease? Maybe.

Because you're living this fulfilled life. There's a certainty now. What does that feel like? Maybe there's a curiosity.

An excitement. They get together, don't they? Because this feeling is your direction. And that's a thing.

That's a thing that I discovered. We're not looking for a thing. We're looking for a direction.

A direction that will lead us into a wonderful adventure of purpose, of passion, of curiosity and excitement, and that certainty. And as you tune into that feeling, just the feeling, give it permission. Allow that feeling to grow just a little bit.

That's right, just a little bit. Really allow your mind to get in tune. Your conscious mind and your unconscious mind to get in tune with this feeling.

And as it grows, maybe you could just ask gently, if this is who I am, what's the next small step that I would take right now? And there's no need to force an answer. Just notice what comes up. Listen with all your senses.

Because your answers come in many, many ways. They may be visual. They may be a word, a feeling.

It might be tiny. Or it might be so obvious to you. It might even surprise you.

As I say, it comes in many different ways. So just listen and notice. This is how the path begins.

Not all at once. It's all about one step. Just taking one small step.

One step from that feeling. Really allow that feeling to grow and get your unconscious mind, I'll ask your unconscious mind, to learn from this. To allow you to give you the intuition of the next small step and the next small step after that.

To look for opportunities to create this wonderful filled life. The direction. As you learn, consciously and unconsciously.

That's right. Because you can bring this awareness back into your reality. In a minute.

But not just yet. Because just maybe, consider this. You don't need to have the whole plan.

You don't need the five year vision, the ten year vision. Or even the perfect map. Because your future self doesn't hand you the whole journey.

Just nudges you. Just a little bit. One step at a time.

Remember this path is not a thing. It's a direction. And it's a direction to... That's right.

It's an adventure. And it's yours. All from a feeling.

Not a formula. And... As you think of that, there's something I want you to consider one more time. If you've ever been afraid of losing yourself, as I did, and unsure how to step into the new one, maybe this is the bridge.

You don't have to jump. You just have to become. And just allow that to resonate within you, integrate within you.

And allow your unconscious mind to find the resources to feed you those steps along the way. So you can enjoy every step. And as you do that, take a wonderful in-breath.

And open your eyes and feel absolutely wonderful. There you go. That's how we do it.

I hope you enjoyed that. Because it is a direction. And that's the bit that got me.

Because as I say, I was looking for things to replace the things I'd stopped doing. And I thought my identity was about the doing. But they're just behaviours.

It's the being. And then finding that path. Allow that path to come to you as you just follow that direction.

And I'm going to be doing deeper work on this, because as I'm doing deeper work on myself on this. Because I think it's so important. And it's so, sometimes to me, it's ambiguous, it's vague.

And sometimes we want something that we really firmly hold on to. But it's just not there to hold on to, because it's not a thing. But as you walk that path, bit by bit, step by step.

I believe it all unfolds. The beauty of life unfolds for you. Because then you start to create it.

This is creating your reality by having the feeling. It's a bit like having the feeling of the wish fulfilled. When you look at goals, try them on, feel it.

You get that direction to the feeling, isn't it? Yeah. So, maybe if you just ask yourself the way I did. Have you really lost your way? Because I was thinking at the time, I've lost my way, I don't know.

But then I thought, no I haven't. I've just been looking in the wrong direction for the wrong things. Because I say, I don't know, because your path isn't something you find.

It's something you feel, it's something you tread. And then you follow it, pace by pace, step by step. You might even say, you might drive it, driving that bus.

Because ultimately you do drive the bus. The metaphor keeps coming, you drive the bus. You're in charge, you're responsible.

I'm here to give you a little guide, maybe I'll give you a little nudge down again. You know, searching, because for me, for the things I was giving away, stopped doing, looking for things to do. I suddenly found that actually, I just need to reconnect with what I called my North Star.

I know other people call it North Stars as well, I think everyone does. Do they? I don't know. But it's my North Star.

And I was searching for things to do, and they're not there. As I say, it's a direction of being. So, you drive your bus, I'll drive mine.

Maybe we'll meet up on holiday. If you could, it would be wonderful, I think, as part of this path, this direction you take, to share this type of things with other people. Share your path, verbally.

Not all of it, because a lot of it might be personal and you're working through, but other people can help you as well. But as you express it outside, it allows you to be clearer, or understand where you're not clear, and you can do more personal work. And if it's not clear, you can always email me, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com, and we can work on this together.

Just as I'm working with you. Sharing the things that I'm experiencing now. And this is where I want to take the Personal Development Unplugged podcast to real stuff.

Not just picking the clickbait stuff. I know the title's a bit clickbaity, but you have to have that, I think. But I just want you to... Yeah, if you can share it, subscribe, and all that stuff, but just live your path.

Think about it. Take a few moments to sit quietly. And just go, what did I hear? What did I learn? You know, we're not pushing stuff away.

We're just being open now. So, there you go. I hope you enjoyed that.

Please share, as I say, subscribe, and all the stuff that everyone says you to tell. If you would, it would be great. But this is just me, Paul, your mate Cloughie, just sharing some of my journey, my adventure, and trying to put it into processes, the things that I learn.

And I know every episode is not going to be the one that... Ah, this is it. Every time. But I know there'll be some golden nuggets, and I hope just to give you that little nudge to think.

So, if there's any subjects, by the way, anything that you would like me to explore, I have to try them on first, and see what we can find. Come up with processes, or even the processes that I already know, we can express them and do them together. And we're going to keep changing.

We're going to become not only that future self, quicker, bigger, better, brighter, but we're going to develop it even more, so we can have more passion than we can stand, more fun than we can stand. And do you know what? We can also feel happy for no reason. So, on that note, I'll see you next time.

I'll be in your ears. Have more fun than you can stand. Go fly.

Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly in your eyes.

Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

Why Are you Stuck? The Seed: You've done the work.

You've read the books. Watched the videos. Made the plans.

You know what to do.

And yet…

You're not doing it.

You're not moving. Not really progressing. Maybe even plateauing.

So the question is…

Why are you stuck?

Here's the Truth You're not stuck because you can't grow.

You can.

Absolutely you can.

So it must be something else.

Something a little deeper… just under the surface.

The Hidden Reason There's a part of you asking questions you might not even notice:

• "What if I change too much?"
• "What will I lose if I succeed?"
• "Will I still be me?"

And that last one?

That's the big one.

Because so many people say:

"I just want my old self back."

But here's the thing…

Your old self is part of what got you here

The Real Shift It's not about going back.

It's about letting the real you come forward.

The part of you that already has:

• The resources
• The potential
• The direction

You're not losing yourself…

You're uncovering yourself

Why This Keeps You Stuck Because a part of you is trying to:

• Hold onto the familiar
• Protect your identity
• Keep things "safe"

Even if that safety is keeping you small

What's Next? So how do you:

• Let go of that old identity… safely?
• Allow the real you to come through?
• Move forward without fear of losing yourself?

That's what we're diving into next.

The Deeper Dive In the next episode, we'll explore:

• The hidden fears of identity loss
• Why change can feel unsafe
• A simple process to align all parts of you
• How to finally step forward with confidence

Pay It Forward If this hit home:

• Share it with someone who feels stuck https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-533-why-are-you-stuck/
• or the video https://youtu.be/YfcM6hovFEk
• Help them see what's really going on

Final Thought Maybe you're not stuck at all…

Maybe a part of you is just waiting to feel safe enough to move.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Welcome back to the next seed, the five minute quickie FMQ 532. Can you believe that? Why are you stuck? Or you could say, why aren't you doing it, crushing it? Why aren't you reaching your goals? You know, making it happen. Maybe you're plateauing.

You know, you've done all the reading. You watched all the videos. You've done all your planning.

You know what to do. You're ready to walk the walk, not just to talk. And just to move on to that next level of you, as it were, personal change.

I wonder why you think you're stuck? Because you're not stuck, by the way. You're not stuck just because you can't grow. Because you can.

Absolutely, you can. You see, there's a reason why I think you're stuck. And the thing about being stuck is, you can choose to unstick yourself.

You can, because I believe there's a, the question is, just below the surface, inside you. It's like there's a little part of you, little part of you that's saying, what if I change too much? Frightening, maybe. Yeah.

What will I lose? What will I lose if I start to succeed? Yeah. Also, and the big one is, will I still be me, my identity, who I think I really am, or my old me? You see, so many clients that I see always say to me, you know, ask them what they want. And they say the very same thing.

Nearly always, nearly always. They say, I want to be my old self, my old me. I can remember my old me.

And we used to, I used to do so much, we used to do so much stuff. And I just want my old me back. And what they don't realise is, the old me is part of this.

What I want you to do is to be who you really are. Allow that real you to come to the surface. So you'll still be you.

You'll be able to say, this is me. This is the real me, the real me that's going to start moving on. Because I'm looking to succeed.

I know what I'm going to lose. I know what I'm going to gain. And I can't change too much.

So that's where the answer is, I think. But it's how do you do that? How do you do that? How do you let that real you come to the surface and be who you really are? And that's where we're going to go on the deeper dive. We're going to go into something, I think, really exciting.

Really exciting because we're going to dive deeply into maybe the hidden fears you have about loss, your identity. And we're going to do a process or two to really allow you to set yourself free. Have freedom to pursue the paths you were put on this bloody little planet earth to do.

Create the life you were meant to create. And enjoy every heartbeat. And that's where I want to go.

So if that is of interest to you, make sure you press subscribe because I want you to make sure that you don't miss the next deeper episode. And if you know of anybody who might want to really start flying too, support them by paying this forward by sharing it. Sharing the episode, sharing personal development unplugged because I'm going to be here to support your dreams, your goals and everything I can think of to make you, well not make you, to allow you to develop and evolve into the real you.

That to me is really exciting. And it's really only down to your imagination and there's no limit to that. No limit to your imagination of how far you can dream of going, creating, doing, serving, making this world a lovely place to live in for everybody, especially you.

So I say, if that's of interest, tune in to the next deeper dive and we're really going to set you free. Okay, time to fly. Hiya, it's me Paul from the Personal Development Unplugged podcast with a five-minute quickie.

It might be a little bit longer than five minutes because nowadays I like to use these as a seed, a seed to plant into your mind, maybe a little deeper than that to get you thinking. And what I have here is a question. Why are you stuck? Because there's a reason you're stuck by the way.

I think we all get stuck at some point in our lives. I've explained a little while ago that I had some real issues about where I was going and I felt I was really stuck. And I've talked about that but the thing is, the question I want to ask you is, if this is you, you know, you're not reaching your goals.

You know, you've got your goals, you've got your goals for different contexts of your life, whether it's career, relationships, your health, fitness, all that stuff, family life. But you're just like on a platter, you feel stuck, you can't move. It's as if you're treading water, you've got your feet in mud, quicksand.

And you can see it over there. But you can't quite get there. It's as if, you know, the momentum's gone.

You're not really getting pulled back, but you're not moving forward. Does that make sense? And certainly I did. I thought I know a lot of this stuff.

I do know a lot of stuff. I've done a lot of reading. I've watched a lot of videos.

I've gone to trainings and all that stuff. And I want to walk the walk, but I just can't. Something is holding me back, as it were.

And the thing is, and this is where the seed goes in, it's not that you're stuck because you can't grow. No, there's something else. Something interesting, fascinating, actually, that when you discover it, things just change straight away.

And you see, I think part of the answer is just below the surface. We struggle with it up here consciously. But unconsciously, there's a little part of you.

There's a little part of you that is just doing and saying something to you, which you didn't get, but you're acting and behaving that way. You see, it's a little thing. When I work with clients, there's so many of them.

When we start talking deeply about how they want to be, where they want to go, their dreams and goals and desires, they tend to go, well, I really want my old me back. I want to be my old me. I can remember times when I was my old me and they were so good.

And that's part of the problem. Because part of that problem is, your old me is part of this. And I really believe now, it's not the old me that you want.

And I had this for years. I really wanted my old Cluffy back, the old Paul back, until I realised, I had an aha moment that said, you don't want the old me back, Paul. You want the real you, the real Cluffy.

Because the real Cluffy has it all. The old me was part of some of the problems I had, some of the patterns that I needed to change. Because that part of me was like, what if I change too much? What if I change too much? Will I still be me? That was one of them.

Will I still be me? Because I wanted my old me, but I don't know if I change too much, what's going to happen? What will I lose if I actually succeed in getting these goals? Will I lose that sense of identity of who I am? And there's an answer to those. Because it's not about letting go of the old you. It's not about letting go of the old you.

It's about letting the real you out, the real you, with all your skills, your values, your beliefs, your dreams, your goals, your desires. That's what it's about. But we need to look at that, because allowing that part of you to let go.

And sometimes we need help with that. And that's where I think it's going to be really interesting and fascinating. And all that stuff, when we go into the deeper dive in the next longer podcast, where we're going to explore this.

We're going to find those questions that your unconscious mind or that part of you is scared of, the fear, the fear of losing your identity, maybe. So we're going to go into a longer, deeper dive, looking at that, and also coming up with a process or two that will allow you to be free and give that part of you all the safety it needs. So you can work as one, be absolutely aligned where you're going, and then start walking the walk.

And then you will be start reading and doing, looking and doing, dreaming and becoming and getting those dreams into reality. Because that's what it's all about. And that's what we all want, isn't it? Create dreams, create our reality, make a life that's so wonderfully rich and rich in a way, in every shape, being everywhere.

So inside and out, making a difference to you, making a difference to the people around you, and making a difference to the whole planet Earth, as we always say. Because that's when it's totally ecological. And that's when things start happening, because you're aligned, you've got that real buzz, you've got that real feeling, and that feeling will attract all that you want.

And I'm here to support you in that. That's the reason for doing the Unplugged podcast. I want to support you in your dreams and goals, and allow you that real you to just evolve, maybe explode with excitement, curiosity, adventure, following your real true path, which we've talked about, treading the path that is here for you.

And now you can. So if that excites you, press subscribe so you don't miss that longer, deeper dive. And also, if you know anybody who might want to come on that type of journey, that adventure of letting go, being able to walk the walk and create the dreams, create the reality you and they desire, then pass this on, please, just share it a little while.

That's all. So I look forward to seeing you, hearing from you, no, you hearing from me, being in your ear, in your mind, with you, your conscious and your unconscious mind to create the changes that will just be so good. So that's good for you.

I will see you, hear from you, be in your ear on the next longer, deeper dive. You go fly and have a think. Let it just germinate.

So when you come back on the longer, deeper dive, we are going to move. We're going to create and we're going to be the real you.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

Finding Your Way: When You Feel Lost in Life Why you're not lost — just disconnected from your inner direction Feeling Lost? Or Just Disconnected? "I've lost my way…"

Ever said that quietly to yourself?

Not out loud… just in your own mind.

That moment where things feel unclear. Where direction fades. Where who you were no longer fits… and who you're becoming hasn't quite arrived yet.

It can feel like a void. A strange mix of uncertainty, frustration… even a little grief.

But here's the thing…

You're not lost.

You've just lost connection with the part of you that already knows the way.

The Truth About Feeling Lost This feeling often shows up when:

• You've made changes in your life
• Old patterns or roles no longer fit
• Your identity is shifting

And in that space…

You go looking "out there" for answers.

But the harder you look… The further they seem to disappear.

Because your direction isn't out there.

It's inside you.

Why This Feels So Uncomfortable When your identity changes, it creates a gap:

• You're no longer the "old you"
• But you're not fully the "new you" yet

That space can feel like:

• Loss
• Confusion
• Uncertainty

Almost like grief.

But it's not the end of something…

It's the beginning of something new.

Your Inner Direction (Your "Future Self") Instead of asking:

"What should I do?"

Try this…

"What would the version of me who is already living that life do next?"

Because that version of you:

• Exists
• Has walked the path
• Knows the direction

And here's the key…

It doesn't give you the whole plan.

It gives you the next step.

This Episode Includes a Guided Process In this deeper dive, you'll be guided to:

• Connect with the feeling of your "best self"
• Tune into purpose, fulfilment, and alignment
• Ask for the next small step
• Begin trusting your internal guidance system

This isn't about forcing answers.

It's about feeling your way forward.

From "Finding" to "Following" Your path isn't something you find.

It's something you:

• Feel
• Step into
• Follow

One step at a time.

Not a fixed destination…

A direction.

Key Takeaways * You're not lost — you're evolving * The "void" is a transition, not a failure * Your answers aren't out there — they're within * You don't need the whole plan — just the next step * Alignment comes from feeling, not forcing

Ready to Reconnect? Take a moment after listening:

• Sit quietly
• Reflect on what came up for you
• Notice any small nudges or insights

And most importantly…

Trust them

Share the Journey If this episode resonated:

• Share it with someone who might feel "lost" right now
• Help them reconnect with their own direction

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/481-finding-your-way-when-you-feel-lost-in-life

Get In Touch Got thoughts, questions, or something that didn't quite click?

Email: feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Welcome back to the personal development unplugged podcast with me Paul and subject today the deeper dive today is I've lost my way. What have I? You see just saying those words I've lost my way.

Have you ever said that to yourself? I did not too long ago and it was really weird where do you know because you don't necessarily say it out loud but just quietly in your own mind yeah and it's like I don't know I just don't know where I'm going anymore and the thing here's the thing here's the thing it's not that you've lost your way because you haven't you haven't lost your way but I think sometimes it's like you've lost that connection with yourself with that part of you that already knows the way which is weird it's like you don't know that you know but you do know just that you don't know the word is yet and you see have you ever noticed have you ever noticed this when life changes because it does isn't it everything changes it evolves when things you used to do seem to fade away or you decide to change there's suddenly a space isn't there there's a space it's like a void a void of that needs to be filled it's a little bit like grief isn't it there's just that void there and it's I don't know it's a funny old thing that void because it's as if a part of you knows there's something new happening and that could be a little bit frightening can't it but the other part goes yeah okay but what is it what is it and you can look and I did I looked and I looked and the harder you look and the more you look nothing it seems you can't grasp it you can't get hold of it it just disappears as this is void and it's not void inside here is now void out there now I'm tempted to say does that make sense but apparently that's not the thing to say but it made sense to me because it actually happened to me you see it did feel like grief it felt I'd lost something not just what I did but who I was and that's the thing I'd made some changes just deliberate changes in my life let some things go decided I'm gonna change this is a time for a change big changes and the thing is it was if I was losing my identity and that's a shift you see when your identity shifts directions disappears it really does but here's the thing it disappears for a while that's all just for a while but it while you're waiting for that while it is quite unnerving you ever had that it really happened to me a few months ago and my life was changing but it felt that I was really losing who I was I was no longer the person I thought it was because I put my identity into these behaviors the things I did and now not doing them I felt I was no longer the real Paul anymore and because when my that direction disappears for a while it's as if you don't know who you'll be coming because you're not there yet but you know you're not that anymore how can you know though where you're going when you make those changes because the thing is you look out there that's the problem you look out there for the things to fill it I did I looked everywhere and the more I looked out there the less I found the more it seemed to fade away but the thing is what I learned was it isn't out there it was if I already do it was inside inside because if you've ever been like that I want to tell you it's in you it's already in you but you just haven't connected again because that evolution is moving forward now the thing is I got a little bit of insight as I called it my future self inside and I want you to play with me just play with me for a minute I love this bit where we just keep playing imagine this and yeah you can close your eyes or you don't because it's only I just want you to imagine something now like a daydream give yourself permission just to be free to daydream in imagination use your imagineering imagine there's a version of you not perfect because nobody's perfect but they are aligned they're living their purpose that you is living your purpose with purpose living a life with purpose feeling a wonderful sense of fulfilment I'll tell you that again living with purpose and feeling that sense of fulfillment yeah that's your best self isn't it think about it now wouldn't that be your best self when you could see yourself over there they're not perfect but aligned as a congruent living with purpose feeling that sense of fulfillment now the interesting thing about that and the thing I found is that version of you had to walk to get there it had to walk a path to get there it didn't just evolve but it did evolve but it wasn't just a poof magic just because we imagine it it's out there that future self is out there now and the things when you think about it well if they've walked that path now it's that future you over there they know the way so maybe maybe instead of asking like I did what should I do because that's what I did what should I do and I couldn't find it because I wanted something maybe I could have asked I did in the end what would that version of me over there living that life of fulfillment a path of passion what would that version of me do next the next foot the next step as it were now how you gonna find out I've already told you that future version of you is really inside but we just haven't connected yet notice the word yet so here's the thing I do say that a lot don't I here's the thing but I do and you know what I'm gonna say it even more because I'd like to say it here's the thing because I'm what I want you to do now is play even more I want to because I love doing these things create a purpose and a process a real process to help you because I think it just works so if it's okay because this is where I want you to find the answers because you don't have to be like me being totally lost just a little bit even even if you know where you're going you can check up with this future self of yours to find even more because a lot of yours is very conscious we want it unconscious aligned and the only way to do that I think is you have to feel it first you might think you're intelligent enough to imagine and think about it consciously what you want but you're not nor am I by the way nobody is but once you start giving information to your unconscious mind with emotion then your unconscious mind gets it and now we can go backwards and forwards with that future self so play play with me find a a wonderful place that you can just be undisturbed for a moment or two well maybe a little bit longer where you can just let yourself go into this little bit of hypnosis maybe there's a guided visualization maybe it's like a meditation whichever you want to call it that'll be what it is but find a place where you'll be undisturbed yeah because I want you to close your eyes to take away all the distractions and where you can truly focus inside that's where we said it was you don't have to look on the outside you're looking on the inside so if that's okay if it isn't by the way either just listen to this gently not too much to get an idea of the process but ideally just bookmark this point and then come back to it okay so you can really devote focused awareness on yourself give yourself permission to spend time on you because you're the only person who can give yourself that permission okay and when you do that finding that comfortable place where you'll be as I say undisturbed remember this is hypnosis I'm a therapist but not your therapist but we're only looking now to your future self and guidance so just take a wonderful deep breath hold it for a second or two and as you breathe out just allow your eyes to close yeah just allow your eyes to close there you go and breathe gently in making every in-breath more gentle than the one before and then with every out-breath allow yourself to be gently pulled inside to that wonderful place of comfort and as you do that that comfort can grow you could even wonder to yourself right now ask yourself the question what would it be like to be three times more comfortable than you are right now and feel that comfort now feel it going through every cell of your body as you breathe easily and effortlessly where you and your unconscious mind can get closer and closer now just let go let go of trying to figure out anything at the moment no thinking no thinking whatsoever just enjoy the just feeling that's right we're just gonna feel and imagine that you are already living your best life yeah if you take that future self back into you right now living your full wonderful best life not the details just feeling imagine how that would feel living your best life just get that quiet sense of it yeah just notice that allow it to maybe grow a little bit more intense so you could really feel it how does it feel in your body maybe just notice where do you feel it in your body it might be all over it might be in that special place where you just feel this living your best life maybe you could describe it to yourself how does it feel is it warm does it have a sense of ease maybe because you're living this fulfilled life there's a certainty now what does that feel like maybe there's a curiosity an excitement I get together don't they because this feeling is your direction and that's the thing that's the thing that I discovered we're not looking for a thing we're looking for a direction a direction that will lead us into a wonderful adventure of purpose a passion curiosity and excitement and that certainty and as you tune into that feeling just the feeling give it permission allow that feeling to grow just a little bit that's right just a little bit really allow your mind to get in tune your conscious mind and your unconscious mind to get in tune with this feeling and as it grows maybe you could just ask gently if this is who I am what's the next small step I would take right now and there's no need to force an answer just notice what comes up listen with all your senses because your answers come in many many ways they may be visual they may be a word it might be tiny or it might be so obvious to you it might even surprise you as I say it comes in many different ways so just listen and notice this is how the path begins not all at once it's all about one step just taking one small step one step from that feeling really allow that feeling to grow and get your unconscious mind I'll ask your unconscious mind to learn from this to allow you to give you the intuition of the next small step and the next small step after that to look for opportunities to create this wonderful filled life the direction and as you learn consciously and unconsciously because you could bring this awareness into your reality in a minute but not just yet because just maybe consider this you don't need to have the whole plan you don't need the five-year vision the ten-year vision or even the perfect map because your future self doesn't hand you the whole journey just nudges you just a little bit one step at a time remember this path is not a thing it's a direction and it's a direction to that's right it's an adventure and it's yours all from a feeling not a formula and as you think of that there's something I want you to consider one more time if you've ever been afraid of losing yourself as I did and unsure how to step into the new one maybe this is the bridge you don't have to jump and just allow that to resonate within you integrate within you and allow your unconscious mind to find the resources to feed you those steps along the way so you can enjoy every step and as you do that take a wonderful in breath and open your eyes and feel absolutely wonderful there you go that's how we do it I hope you enjoyed that because it is a direction and that's the bit that got me because as I say I was looking for things to replace the things I'd stopped doing and I thought my identity was about the doing but they're just behaviors it's the being and then finding that path allow that path to come to you as you just follow that direction and I'm gonna be doing deeper work on this because as I'm doing deeper work on myself on this because I think it's so important and it's so sometimes to me it's ambiguous it's vague and sometimes we want something that we really firmly hold on to but it's just not there to hold on to because it's not a thing but as you walk that path bit by bit step by step I believe it all unfolds the beauty of life unfolds for you because then you start to create it this creating your reality by having the feeling it's a bit like having the feeling of the wish fulfilled when you look at goals try them on feel it you get that direction to the feeling isn't it yeah so maybe if you just ask yourself the way I did have you really lost your way because I was thinking at the time I've lost my way I don't know but then I thought no I haven't I've just been looking in the wrong direction for the wrong things because I say because your path isn't something you find it's something you feel it's something you tread and then you follow it pace by pace step by step you might even say you might drive it driving that bus because ultimately you do drive the bus the metaphor keeps coming you drive the bus you're in charge you're responsible I'm here to give you a little guide and maybe I'll give you a little nudge down again you know searching because he for me it for the things I was giving away stop doing looking looking for things to do I suddenly found that actually I just need to reconnect with what I called my North Star I know other people call it North Stars as well I think everyone does do they I don't know but it's my North Star and I was searching for things to do and they're not there as I say it's a direction of being so you drive your bus I'll drive mine maybe we'll meet up on holiday if you could it would be wonderful I think as part of this path this direction you take to share this type of things with other people share your path verbally not all of it because it's a lot of it might be personal and you're working through but other people can help you as well but as you express it outside it allows you to be clearer or understand where you're not clear and you can do more personal work and if it's not clear you can always email me feedback at personal development unplug calm and we can work on this together just as I'm working with you sharing the things that I'm experiencing now and this is where I want to take the personal development unplug podcast to real to real stuff not just picking the clickbait stuff I know the title is a bit click baity but you have to have that I think but I just want you to yeah if you can share it subscribe and all that stuff but just live your path think about it take a few moments to sit quietly and you go what did I hear what did I learn you know we're not pushing stuff away we're just being open now so there you go I hope you enjoyed that please share as I say subscribe and all the stuff that everyone says you to tell to tell if you would it would be great but this is just me Paul your mate Cluffy to sharing some of my journey my adventure and trying to put it into processes the things that I learned and I know every episode is not going to be the one that this is it every time but I know there'll be some golden nuggets and hope just to give you that little nudge to think so if there's any subjects by the way anything that you would like me to explore I have to try them on first and see what we can find come up with processes or even the processes that I already know we can express them and do them together and we're going to keep changing we're going to become not only that future self quicker bigger better brighter but we're going to develop it even more so we can have more passion than we can stand more fun than we can stand and you know what we can also feel happy for no reason so on that note I'll see you next time I'll be in your ears have more fun than you can stand go fly personal development unplugged

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

I've Lost My Way… … Or Have I?

Have you ever felt that?

Like something's changed…

And the things that used to light you up… just don't anymore?

And now there's this space…

A bit of a void…

And if you're honest…

You're not quite sure what fills it.

Here's the thing…

I've been there too.

And it feels a bit like losing something… Maybe even losing a part of yourself.

So you start looking for a new direction…

A new purpose…

A new "North Star"…

But the more you look…

The less you seem to find.

So what if we're looking in the wrong way?

What if the answer isn't something you have to go out and find…

But something you can begin to feel?

In this episode, just for a moment…

We start there.

Not with answers… Not with plans…

But with a feeling.

Because maybe… just maybe…

That feeling already knows the way.

The Next Step In the longer episode, we're going deeper…

We'll explore how to connect with that future version of you… And how it can begin to guide your next steps — naturally.

There'll be processes… Maybe a little hypnosis…

And definitely a few "aha" moments.

So if this sparked something…

Stay with me.

Share the Seed Know someone who feels a bit lost right now?

Share this with them. https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq532-ive-lost-my-way/

This might be their starting point.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Welcome to the five-minute quickie, which, as you know, isn't a five-minute quickie. It's going to last a little bit longer, not too long, but I want to sow another seed into your mind. Just another one.

And from the title, I've lost my way. Now, have you ever wanted to change direction in your life? Have you ever felt boxed in? Maybe even helpless, I don't know. Helpless with which way to go, which way to find fulfilment? Have you been looking for fulfilment and can't get it? Me too.

And personally, me too, because over the last few months, I did mention it slightly in the last episode, I've been looking for a new way. Call it my North Star. Well, I think everyone calls it a North, do they? Call it a North Star, but a new direction because things in my life have been changing.

And when things change in a way that sometimes you let things go to move on to new things, but where the bloody hell are what are those new things? Because I couldn't find them. And when I got to this place where I couldn't find the things to fill that void, it was like grief. I'd lost something.

I'd lost part of my old me, my identity, as it were. And have you ever had that? I think we've all experienced grief. But have you felt it personally, about a direction in life, maybe? Imagine it, that void.

It's really weird, isn't it? Because you can talk to yourself about, yeah, I'm going to do this, do that. But it just doesn't feel the same, does it? It just doesn't feel that there's anything there. Like an emptiness.

Or is that just me speaking? That might be a little bit too personal. No, it isn't too personal. I want to share my journey, my adventure, but also want to put it in a way that I think we've all felt that need of a direction change.

Sometimes it's in your career. Sometimes it's in a relationship. Sometimes, like with me, it's just the way and the things I want to start doing in my life.

Now, the thing is, would you like to know a way that fixes all of that? A way to find purpose? A way to, well, maybe just re-find purpose. If you're like myself, I had my purpose. I had my mission in life.

I thought I knew the direction I was going, and I was living it, and now I've changed direction. Or I'm looking for that new direction. You could say looking for the continuation of life's path towards that best version of myself.

Heavy stuff, eh? Heavy stuff. But it's not going to be heavy, because this is the seed to get you just thinking for the moment what it might be like. And then, on the longer episode to follow this, we're going to have some processes, more deeper thoughts to get your unconscious and conscious mind aligned to this, to find this new way.

And there may even be a little bit of hypnosis in there. You never know. But I want you to just think, because this is a primer.

I want you to just think for a moment, and if you want to, even in this short 5-10 minute quickie, if it's safe to do so, just close your eyes for a moment, and imagine if you were to let go of that feeling, of feeling boxed in maybe, or feeling helpless, or not knowing where to find fulfilment, your path, your passion. If you could let that all go, and you knew you were on the right path to fulfilment, following your purpose, living your best life, being your best self, without seeing any of that, what would it feel like? Just imagine it now, because you can. Imagine the feeling of what it would feel like to live your best life, following your purpose, the reason for being on little old planet earth, making a difference to you, personally, to your friends and family, the people around you.

And again, the ripples of change go so far. Little old planet earth gets a little bit better. Just feel it for a moment, because I think you can, and in that longer episode to follow, this feeling will grow by the way.

You might even find, if you did this for maybe a minute, just a minute, every day in between this episode and the longer deeper dive, that feeling starts to show you different things in life. Maybe you start to see the world just a little bit different before we dive deeper into it and make wonderful changes. You see, because in that next episode, we're going to go to somewhere pretty fascinating, I think.

We're going to find new stuff. And the thing is, when we do look at the ways to change in this wonderful way, one thing I can assure you, that not only will your life forever be changed in a wonderful way, but the ripples of that change will go so far and wide. You will not know how far and wide they'll go, but they will.

They'll affect the people in your life. Maybe the different people in your work, your career, your relationships, all those new people you're going to find along the way when you're on this path. If you haven't opened your eyes just yet, you can, because we're thinking now.

Just imagine doing this for one minute every day. Just imagine what it would just feel like. I don't want you to see anything.

Just feel it. The seeing comes in the deeper podcast, the deeper dive, where we really explore something, as I say, really fascinating, really interesting, and make changes. Changes at the conscious and changes at the unconscious level.

So when you become aligned with your path, the reason for being on this world, life will be absolutely wonderful. And that feeling of fulfilment will just start to grow and grow. And you will make those changes yourself.

As I say, you're driving the bus. I'm just, you know, maybe steering the wheel just a little bit. Just a little bit, but you're driving it.

Okay. If that has excited you, just a little bit, just a little bit. Come with me on that deeper dive in the next longer podcast.

And it won't be I've lost my way. Maybe the answer is this is the way to find the way. I don't know.

I don't know what the title is going to be yet. We'll see what happens. But there'll be some processes, maybe a bit of hypnosis, as I say.

Please join me. By the way, press subscribe on that little player of choice, because when you do that, you won't have to think when the next one's coming up. You go, oh, there it is.

Let's find some time and find a little bit of space where maybe I can just listen to this and disappear somewhere and make some wonderful changes. And just in case, share it with a friend so they can find their path too. Because they might not tell you.

You can say to them, hey, how you doing? They go, yeah, fine. But maybe they do feel boxed in. Maybe they do feel helpless.

Maybe they want to grow and find fulfilment, but they haven't told you. And this could be their seed too. Anyway, my friend, it's time to fly.

I'll see you on the next longer, deeper dive. So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe. It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people.

And we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them. And this will help, help the podcast. It will help you and it will help, well, everyone that you know.

So if you could just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you blooming well know. That's the only cost. Pay it forward to everyone.

And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet Earth of ours and the people in it. But let's make a a nice world. Okay.

Okay. You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning.

You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend.

Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

The Missing Part Of Success Why Thinking Isn't Enough (And What Actually Works) The Bit Everyone Misses You've done the work.

You've read the books. You've said the affirmations. You've visualised success over and over again.

"I've got this." "I'm a winner."

And yet… nothing really changes.

Sound familiar?

That's because mindset alone isn't enough.

In this episode, we uncover the missing part of success — the part that turns thinking into doing, and knowing into being.

It's Not Just Mindset Yes, mindset matters.

But it's only half the story.

Because if your body isn't aligned with what you're thinking…

Your results won't align either.

You can't:

• Think confidence while your body shows doubt
• Say "I'm relaxed" while holding tension
• Speak powerfully while shrinking physically

Your mind and body are always working together.

Always.

💡 The Mind-Body Connection (Made Practical) This isn't theory — it's something you can feel.

In this episode, you'll:

• Discover how successful people embody success
• Learn to recognise the physiology of confidence and competence
• Experience how small physical shifts change your internal state instantly

Because success isn't just something you think…

It's something you become.

The Key Shift: From Thinking → Being Forget "fake it till you make it".

That's not alignment — that's conflict.

Instead, this episode guides you to:

• Step into the version of you who already has it
• Align your posture, breathing, and movement
• Create congruence between your thoughts and your body

When that happens…

Things don't feel forced anymore.

They click.

The Process (Experiential) This isn't just listening — it's doing.

You'll be guided to:

1. Identify a meaningful goal
2. Visualise someone who already embodies it
3. Notice their physiology (movement, breath, presence)
4. Step into your own version of that state
5. Allow your body to lead your mind into alignment

Simple. Powerful. Effective.

The Ripple Effect When you align like this:

• Confidence becomes natural
• Anxiety fades into the background
• You act from who you really are

And more than that…

You become an example.

Not by trying — but by being.

And that changes everything around you.

A Deeper Reflection If you're not stepping into this…

What are you holding onto?

What are you afraid of losing?

Because sometimes the only thing in the way… is the old version of you.

🧭 Final Thought You already have everything you need.

This isn't about becoming someone new.

It's about uncovering what's already there and aligning it.

Mind and body.

Together.

Calls to Action * Subscribe and follow the podcast * Share this episode with someone who needs it: * https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/480-the-missing-part-of-success/ * There's even a bonky video of it all (I do my best) https://youtu.be/skoK-08oe1E * Email your thoughts: feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com * Explore more tools and hypnosis resources

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Welcome to this longer podcast and the missing part, the missing part of success. Why thinking isn't enough.

You see, you can say things like, I'm a winner. I'm a winner. I got this.

I got this. I got this all day long. I can do this.

And if you say it loud enough, and long enough, then maybe it'll come true. But the thing is, it's not just what you keep saying. They just don't fall into place.

Because there's a reason for this. It really is. So maybe it'll come true.

Maybe it won't. But here's the thing. What if I told you this? That's literally only half of the story.

We call that part the winning mindset. And some people will just say, the winning mindset is all you need. So over and over again, long enough, loud enough, and you'll get there.

No, that's not really the case, is it? It's only half the story. You see, have you ever noticed this? You know exactly what to do. You've read all the books, you've dived deep, you've read everything.

You've seen all the blooming videos. You've got it all. You've got it all inside here.

You say those affirmations, I got this, I'm a winner, everything else. And you visualize the goals. In fact, you can do this over and over again, because you've got the t-shirt, you've got the multi-vision t-shirt with all the visualizations and everything.

But nothing really changes, does it? You had that experience? You know, you maybe sit there and go, well, what's happening? I really put everything in to learn this stuff. And it's just not going on. You know, could you remember what that feels like? What does it feel like in your body? Isn't it sometimes like a little bit of a void and there's a little bit of sadness, maybe a little bit of grief and sometimes guilt, because you've spent so much time on it and it's just not showing and giving the fruits, bearing fruit.

Now, what tends to happen then is you drift back. You're drifting back into the old way. And you see, there's a really good reason, not an excuse, there is a reason for this.

You know, and you might even say, come on, Cluffy, why is that? Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me. You see, because up here, that's where you've got the psychology of success, that winning mindset. But you see, something is missing.

And you know what it is? It's down here, down here, down here in the body. That's the other side. It's all about mind-body connection.

Think about it. The mind-body connection. And you can't really have one without the other.

Think about it now. Everyone talks about mind-body connection, but you can't have a mind without the body. It comes together, don't they? You can't have a body that doesn't reflect what your mind is thinking.

You know, you can say, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy and happy. But your body, if you're not happy, your body doesn't reflect that and you're just walking around. You know, you can walk around in a slump, being depressed and you've got that physiology of depression or anxiety and you're all tight.

And you can say, oh, I'm so relaxed, I'm so relaxed. That ain't happening, is it? Because the mind and the body work together. And that's always.

Now, you don't normally get an always because people say, oh, it's too general. You can't have generalizations, but you can here because it's always the mind-body work together. You see, if you say, I've got this, but your body's not quite sure, guess which one wins? And it's the other way around too.

If your body's there and your mind isn't there, you still won't get it because they're not separated. And that's where we want to go. See, most people, I have to say this, most people miss this.

Play with me for a minute, play with me. This is what I want you to do. Now, you might want to just think about it, visualize it with open eyes because you can do that because that's what's called daydreaming, isn't it? But if you want to close your eyes and it's safe to do so, you might want to get a little bit more focused because it just takes away the distractions.

So if it's safe to do so, you can close your eyes. It's not hypnosis, not yet, but this is what I want you to do. Let's just play for a minute.

Think about somebody, someone who has what you want. Let's take a moment and keep it simple. Keep it simple.

Just something that you want. Maybe they have, I don't know, confidence. Maybe they have the success in a particular area.

Not general because we're going to be a bit more specific than that, but it's an area of your life that you would like to have, but they have it, what you want. So maybe they have that confidence, they maybe have the success. Maybe they're just at ease with what they're doing.

It just seems that they just do it so naturally. Now, remember, you're seeing the result of probably years of practice. But it's because of that practice, it's become that easy for them.

Now, just take a moment. See it in your mind's eye. See them in your mind's eye.

As if they're over there, just below you. I love it. Just below you and in front of you, so you can look down upon them and at them.

And just notice this, if you would. Notice how they move. How are they moving? Just notice everything about that.

Do they have a strength about their walk or their movement or is it fluidity? How are they standing? How are they standing? Because in a mind-body, this is just, they're together, they're aligned, aren't they? Their non-verbal communication is there because they are aligned. You know there's no doubt in this. How do they stand? And when they're moving or just standing still, notice if you could just focus in now, if you could just focus in a little bit more, how do they breathe? Are they breathing at the top of their chest? Are they breathing in the middle or are they really got that slow breath? Because in different ways of being, sometimes we do have to breathe a little bit higher up in the chest.

Sometimes we're visualizing stuff and we're thinking that way and it gets a little bit more excitable maybe. But maybe other times when they feel at ease, they've got that slow breath because they're not just thinking about success. No, they're not.

They're not just thinking about how confident they are or how at ease they are. They're not at all. They're embodying it.

100% aligned, congruent. They are it. Mind, body, everything.

And you see that what you see there, that's the physiology of success. And you've seen it before. You've seen how other confident people or people at ease just move.

They are confident in their competence. We've talked about this before. They're not overconfident.

They give an appearance that they're confident, but they're confident not outwardly but inwardly. They're confident about their competence. They just know.

It's as if they just glide through life that way. And that's the physiology of success, as I said. And it's the whole system, by the way.

It's not just one or the other. It is the movement, the breathing. Maybe there's a tone of voice.

It's the energy that they're using and give out. It's all of that. Yeah.

And it all lines up, doesn't it? It all lines up. It's one line. It's congruent.

It's alignment in its best way, because that's what it is. And when it lines up, you're not faking it. You're being it.

Because that's the thing. We've talked about fake it till you make it. I've said it so many times that I hate the bloody saying, because in the title it's got faking.

And when you're faking something, this, the mind, and this, the body, is not lined up. And you can see it. You can see it in their nonverbal communications, the way they move their body.

It's not, you know, the voice and the words don't match the physiology. That's faking it. But this isn't.

It all lines up. It's being it. Being the person.

So, if you open your eyes, by the way, or if you close your eyes, you can open again, because we're going to close them again. Because I want to do a little process with you. I want you to, let's call it, step into the physiology of success.

Because we don't always do this. We always try to get our mind and the voice and everything else together. But I want you to step into the physiology of success.

So, let's take a moment. And again, if it's safe to do so, I'd love you to close your eyes. If it isn't, I think sometimes it might be best just to pause and come back to this.

Or just listen to it and make sure you want to come back to it. Because even just listening to it does give you an idea of what we're going to be doing. So, you're prepared.

But I want to make sure that you don't just listen and then not do it. Because that'd be a waste of bloody time. Waste of time.

So, if you want to listen to it, make sure you put a time when you're going to do it and make it like a timestamp on this, where you're going to come back to. But if it's okay, and it's safe to do so, this is a time where you're going to be undisturbed. Just for a few moments, just minutes.

Undisturbed and it's safe to do so. I'd love you just to close your eyes. Is that okay? That you just close your eyes.

And as you close your eyes, I'd love you to take a gentle in-breath. That's right. Just gently breathe in and then breathe out.

Just notice you can feel so relaxed as you breathe out. It's as if you're being pulled inside. And you can just ask yourself, what would it be like if I was twice as comfortable as I feel right now? What would that be like to feel that now? And allow that to go through every cell of and fibre of your whole being.

And I want you to begin to bring to mind, think of something that you want to succeed in. Now, I want to just point this out now. Make sure it's something that's going to be meaningful to you.

This is not an experiment where you go, well, I'll do it on this first and then I'll do it on the meaningful stuff. Because if you do it on the stuff that isn't meaningful, what's the point? But make it a simple thing. Let's just go through the process easily and effortlessly.

But pick something that is meaningful to you. A goal. A desire.

Something that you want to succeed in. And as you bring that to mind, imagine this. You've already got it.

You've done all the work. You've done all the work and you've got it. Not someday in the future.

I don't know. You've got it right now. And as you do that, and you just imagine you've got it right now.

Where are you? Look around. What's around you? What is this environment you're in? And as you notice this environment you're in, more importantly, notice you. You're here.

How are you standing? How are you standing? Feel the muscles. Feel the balance. Feel how strong, strong, rooted, grounded you can feel now.

Even if you're moving, you can feel that stability. There, feel it now. How are you breathing now? How are you breathing when you have this success right now? This thing that is meaningful to you, the thing that you really desire, this goal.

You've got it now. How are you breathing? That's right. Just notice that.

And what's the expression on your face? Is it a focus expression? Is it smiling? Or is it just a loose, relaxed way of being? Have you got it? If you could see it, a sparkle in your eye. This is an eyes. That's right.

Can you feel the softness or tension in your cheeks? Yeah. And your shoulders. How are they? How are those shoulders? At ease, or are they a little tense? Sometimes we need to be, just have that little bit of tension, and sometimes we just have total comfort, relaxation.

But this is your dream, your goal. You've got it now. So how is it for you? And how do you move your head? How do you move your head? You can be aware of things going on.

So you might be focused, looking directly ahead of you. Or maybe you're taking different things in as you're looking at different people, being connected, if that's what's important to you. And as you do this, I want you to notice something different.

I want you to notice this particular thing, because it's really important now. And this thing that's really important is, this is you, acting as if. Now.

That's it, this is you. This is the way you would act, having achieved that goal, that desire, that thing that you want to succeed in, that's so meaningful to you. Very gently, now, allow your body to just begin to match this version of you.

That's right, allow your body right now to match this version of you. Maybe your spine, your back just shifts a little bit. That's right.

Maybe your breathing deepens just a little bit. Your face maybe softens or becomes more certain. Feel it now, allow it to happen now.

Just tiny adjustments, we're not forcing it, we're allowing it. Just allow it to happen, as you just fit into this body. That's right.

And notice, as you do this, what happens inside. Take a moment, there's no rush. Just notice what happens inside, right now.

Because when your body changes, the mind follows. And when the mind and body align, that's where things just click into place. So just take that all in.

All in, get your unconscious mind, I want your unconscious mind to take that all in too, at an even deeper level, a more specific level. Notice all the changes of what it's like to have this goal, this desire, the thing that's important to you, that you wish to succeed in. Have it all at the unconscious level, so you can bring that back when you're ready.

And just wonder, as you can begin to take a in-breath, you can begin to wonder how this will affect all other areas of your life. Yeah, all other areas. And the thing is, this isn't about pretending.

It's not fake it until you make it. Because you're not faking it. Because you know when you're faking it, don't you? And this feels so much different.

So open your eyes and notice. This is all about becoming aligned, isn't it? Aligned with who you really are. And that's the thing.

Who you really are. That's all you have to think of now, is who you really are. At your best.

Succeeding at the things that are important to you. Because when they're important to you, you've got the motivation anyway. It's just putting the pieces of the puzzle, the mind and the body together.

We call it becoming congruent. Your mind and body totally align to you at being your best. And you can do this for everything, can't you? Anything and everything.

And it isn't a version of you you have to create. That's the thing. Because it's what you uncover.

You've got all these resources inside you. You're just putting them together so you're uncovering it. And it's been here all the time.

We forget it sometimes. Because we've got it all the time. And the real thing when you think about it now, and I want you just to think about this.

When you were feeling it, and thinking of how it affects all other areas of your life, and specifically the goal itself, the desire, just notice how comfortable you are. How safe you are. How the confidence in your competence just lets any anxiety, fear, just evaporate, disappear.

Because this is a much safer way of being. You're aware, you're acting to your true potential. And when you act to your true potential, this is it.

And you're growing. Yeah. And if you think, if you go back to FMQ 530, there's something to think about here.

If you don't step into this, what are you holding back from? What are you thinking of losing? The old ways, the old way of being. Because it was just an old way of being. That old version of you, which is now discarded.

Because maybe this is, if this is something that you can't quite get, you have to think about what you're afraid of losing. And we went into that deeply on the longer podcast as well, linked to FMQ 530. But now, just, you can even remember that feeling now, can't you? Just, ah, I can feel it.

You see, you know, you've got all the pieces. You've got them all. You've got the pieces of the puzzle.

We've now just shown you the picture. And it's just about putting them together, slowly, easily, comfortably. Just putting them together, driving your bus.

I mean, you do drive your bus. This is the metaphor I like to use. I didn't make it up, by the way.

I think it was made up by Richard Bandler. I don't even know that. The NLP guru man.

Guru? No, he's not a guru. He is a genius of NLP. But you drive the bus.

I'm just helping to guide you, just maybe moving the steering wheel, or tell you what gear to go into. Because you've got it all together. I'm just here trying to shine a light on the bits you're missing, or you haven't noticed.

I'd love you to share, I love you anyway, but I'd love you to share this with somebody, because it'll make a difference to them. And guess what? Was that complicated? It wasn't complicated at all. Because in simplicity, there's genius.

And it's just about shining the light on the things sometimes that we're not seeing. Bringing the spotlight into your wonderful skills that you have, the resources you have. They're all there.

We just weren't accessing them. And now, when you put that goal in mind now, you've got a direction. You've got a direction.

It's not a thing, it's a direction, a path you're following. And when you have this mind-body connection, you'll adapt, you'll evolve, moving towards that ultimate vision of yourself. But if you would share this with your best friend, or anybody basically, anybody, because we can all do with this type of insight, to realise that we have it, we have it all already.

We don't have to go somewhere to find ourselves, because wherever you go, you're already here. You just look inside for the resources you've already got. Get those positive beliefs, get those skills and resources.

Because you see, if there's anything about this that has sprung up into your mind, going, yeah, well, but let me know, email me, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Because there's might be that little thing, as we said, you know, things holding you back, things you're frightened of losing. And we'll do a deeper dive on that too. Because it's important to me that you are able to be your best self, your ultimate vision, or move towards your ultimate vision of yourself, because that will always keep changing.

We can always be a little bit better, but as long as we're having fun doing it. Because the thing about having fun, is what I want you and your unconscious mind, is to have more fun than you can stand. And I'd like to speak to your unconscious mind just for one second, well, maybe five.

I'd like you, the unconscious mind, to surprise them. Surprise them to feel happy for no reason. There you go, my friend.

Oh, press subscribe, by the way. Yeah, why not do that before you fly, because it's time to fly. See you next time.

Ta-ra.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

The Missing Part Of Success The Seed of Success Most People Miss We hear it all the time…

"Think positive." "Have the right mindset." "Say your affirmations."

And yes… that's part of it.

But what if that's only half the equation?

In this Five Minute Quickie, we uncover the missing piece of success — the part hardly anyone talks about, yet it changes everything.

It's Not Just Psychology… It's Physiology You can have:

• The perfect plan
• The right words
• The strongest mindset

…but if your body isn't aligned?

It won't land.

Success isn't just in your thoughts — it's in:

• The way you move
• The way you breathe
• Your tone of voice
• Your energy

It's how you show up

Because the truth is…

You can't separate the mind and the body. They work together — always.

Acting "As If" — The Real Way This isn't about faking it till you make it.

That's… well… fake.

This is about: Becoming aligned Being congruent Acting as the real you

When your psychology + physiology match…

That's when things click.

Same words. Different energy. Completely different results.

Where This Shows Up in Your Life * Career: People feel your certainty (or your doubt) * Relationships: It's not what you say — it's how you say it * Confidence: It's embodied, not just thought about

When it's all aligned…

You don't try to be convincing You are convincing

The Ripple Effect Here's the bigger picture…

When you step into this aligned way of being:

• You stop forcing things
• You become the example
• You inspire others — naturally

No effort. No pretending.

Just being.

And that's where real change spreads.

What's Next? In the Deeper Dive, we go beyond the "what"…

Into the HOW How to align your psychology and physiology How to become the real you (not a fake version)

Because that's where everything changes.

Ready to Go Deeper? If this sparked something in you…

• Subscribe so you don't miss the deep dive
• Share this with someone who needs that missing piece
• Pay it forward — let's create that ripple

And if you want more…

Visit the hypnosis tracks and resources

Remember:

Success isn't just in your head It's in your whole being

Align it… and watch what happens.

Please Share with a friend https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-531-the-missing-part-of-success

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Welcome, welcome to the FMQ, the seed, the seed of, in this case, the seed of success. We always have a longer podcast of diving deeper, but I want you to think of a few things. All you have to do is, well, listen for a little bit, watch for a little bit, get your mind going, and see what intuitively comes up as being the right thing to do. So, the physiology of success. I'm a winner. I'm a winner. I've got a winner's mindset. Do you know what? I say positive things over and over again. I have a positive mantra, and do you know what? It gets louder and louder and louder and louder. I've got this. I've got this. Oh, that's not the physiology of success, is it? That's the psychology of success. That's up in here, and you need it up here. Some people will say, you know, there's 10% of success is in the mind, but it's that special 10%, and they're not wrong. They're not wrong, but you can't have one without the other. You can't have a mind without the body. You can't have a body without the mind. You can't have all the things that make your mind fresh and alive without a body that's fresh and alive and acting in a particular way, and what I'm talking about is the physiology of success. If you think about it, or if you can remember the five keys to success, I talk about it loads of times. I've got it everywhere. The fifth key is acting, acting as if with a psychology and a physiology of success. The two together, you can't have one without the other. Now, knowing that you need up here, it would be silly if you didn't have everything else, wouldn't it? You see, and I'm not talking about being physically fit, but you might need it for certain things. If your goals, your dreams, and desires are one of being superbly fit, yeah, you're going to need your body. You're going to have to do all sorts of things. If you're mountain climbing or doing all that stuff, you're going to have to do that, but I'm not talking about the physically fit bit. You have to be that anyway, and if you're in personal development, you are going to want that part of your body or part of you to be as best it can be, just as you want your brain to be the best it can be, so you can be integrated, aligned, congruent, all that stuff. That's what we do, but without a physiology of success. It's the way you move, the way you breathe, where your muscles just seem to act as if you're doing what you should be doing. So, what I mean is, I guess what I mean is, if you could just think about doing something, you have it all up here, you've learnt what it's all about, but you've never actually done it, you'd have a bit of a problem, but if you can visualise it a little bit, visualise yourself and see yourself doing it, or watching somebody else do it and go, ah, I see how they move, how they balance, you're starting to get the physiology of success. You're beginning to act as if, and if you're going to succeed at anything in life, every goal, every dream, every desire, every different part of your life, when you've got it, you are acting as if you've got it, because you have, you're thinking you've got it, because you have, you're aligned, and you see, without it, without the two together, you're lost. So, you can do all the planning, you can do all the steps, but we need to get this physiology of success, acting as if, because as I say, this applies to everything. It applies to things like your career, you know, if you're trying to be a salesman, or you're giving ideas, and you're motivating people, if you act like you're depressed, and you're cunched over, and you've got nothing about you, it ain't going to happen, is it? You might have the right words, but without the right, call it, some people call it body language, but that's not it, is it? It's that, that just a communication, nonverbal communication, where your nonverbals, your body, your movement, the sound of your voice, the way you breathe, the way you look, the intensity, as well as what the words mean, that's when you get it. Relationships, you can say to somebody, I love you, I love you, oh, you mean the most to me, or you can say, yeah, I love you, yeah, you mean the most to me, don't you? Yeah, same words, same bloody words, but they're not together, you have to put them all together. So, relationships, going out with your friends, socializing, everything that you want is aligned, and this is where we're going to go, how do we get the psychology and the physiology of success? Are we going to talk about physiology, because I think, I believe not many people talk about it, they talk about how you've got to think, how, what type of words, you know, the tactics, but they don't tell you how to put it all together, because when you put it all together, and you do it properly, you're not faking it until you make it, we've talked about that so many other times, you're not faking it, it's in the bloody title, faking, and when you're the real you, and they call it the authentic you, but the real you, you're not faking it, are you? You know, because you can't fake yourself, you know you're telling little fibs if you're not fully aligned, so we've got to get that physiology of success, truly aligned, being yourself, and how are we going to do that? Well, that's in the next Deeper Dive, you see, in the next Deeper Dive, we're going to explore something I think is really fascinating, I think you'll find it fascinating, it'll be so interesting, because it's not just the what, it's how, the bit that people miss out, and what happens when you do, and when you start, you know, changing yourself back into yourself as it were, your goals, your dreams, everything you want to create in life, the good life, the brilliant life, will start to come to you naturally, and the thing is, this is what I found out after a while, it's not just about you, I used to think it was just about you, you've got to get it, but when you're in this wonderful way of being, then you create changes in other people too, because you show them what's available to them, look at him, look at her, oh man, if she can have it, if he can have it, I can do it too, you become the example of what can be done, and that's without trying, you don't try to be the example, you just are, and the ripples of change go further and wider, so if you want to come into this little Deeper Dive of knowing how to be the real you, come with me, I'll see you next time on Deeper Dive. So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe, it helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people, and we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them, and this will help, help the podcast, it will help you, and it will help well everyone that you know, so if you could just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you blooming well know, that's the only cost, pay it forward to everyone, and when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet Earth of ours, and the people in it, but let's make a world, a good world, a nice world, okay, okay, you can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough, it's time to fly and run Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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What Are You Afraid Of Losing? Here's a question for you…

What are you afraid of losing?

Not gaining… not achieving… But losing.

Because here's the thing…

I've been doing a bit of deeper work on myself lately — you know, when life shifts a little and things you've always done… just don't have that same spark anymore.

And in that space… that little void… I found myself looking for something new.

A new direction… a bit more passion… a bit more something.

But the harder I looked…

The more it seemed to disappear.

Now that's frustrating, isn't it?

And it got me thinking…

What if it's not about what I'm trying to find…

But what I'm afraid of losing?

Because we all do it, don't we?

We hold on to things — even emotional stuff, even old ways of being — And we don't always know why.

And maybe… just maybe…

That's what's getting in the way of finding what we really want.

So this is just a seed…

A question to sit with.

What are you afraid of losing? And how might that be holding you back?

In the longer episode, we're going to dive deeper into this…

We'll explore what's really going on underneath… And more importantly…

We'll go through a process together — not just talking about it, but actually finding your answer.

Because that's where the change happens.

The Next Step If this got you thinking… stay with me.

Make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss the next episode — That's where we do the real work.

And maybe… just maybe… You'll find something you didn't expect.

Please Share the Seed If you know someone who's searching… Or maybe feeling a bit stuck…

Share this with them. https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/479-what-are-you-afraid-of-losing

or the video https://youtu.be/VvW1cD80CSM

Let's get more people asking better questions.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

And just let that go, just let that go for a moment. You can open your eyes again if you did close your eyes. And maybe we can think of a real life, back in the real world as we are.

And notice, where does this show up for you the most? Where does this holding on, this fear of losing, show up for you? And again, recall where and what have you been trying to move toward? It's moving towards now, moving towards and that thing is holding you back. And just think, you know, it could be as simple as, you know, you want to move away from the thing that you always feel, staying in that comfort zone as it were, that familiar zone. Maybe it's this projects that you want to do, but you're just not getting there.

Or is that career move you want to do? Or that relationship you want to take another step further? Or you just want to, but do you recognise any of those? I think you might just do a little bit. But you're holding onto those roles that no longer fit, aren't they? And I'm going to dive into that on a lot longer episode or another longer episode, because there's so many different things that we can talk about that. But the thing is, I want to give you a little bit of a, little bit of a push, a bit of a challenge.

I want you to consider this. It's not laziness. It's not lack of motivation.

That's just an excuse, by the way. It is that protection thing, isn't it? Because once we accept that and acknowledge it, and that's the work we've just done, here's the empowering bit. If it's all about protection, you can choose what to do with it.

Yeah, you get to choose what you do with that protection, because this is you. This is all about you. You can choose, as we've done before, do you want to hold on? Or do you want to loosen the grip? You see, here's the thing.

You're not stuck. You're not stuck one bit. You might feel stuck, but you're not stuck.

You're just being careful. And the thing is, when you're just being careful, you could become curious, because that's a safe way of being, isn't it? Being careful and curious to find out new things. And when you do that, curiosity can become courageous.

And when you're courageous, guess what? You are perfectly safe. And what I want you to think of is, maybe you give permission to that part of you that's been protecting you for so, so long, holding you back from fear of losing things. Just stand down for a minute.

Give it permission to take a rest. It'll always be there for you if you need it, but just to take a rest. It's like a centurion or a sentry guard.

Give it permission to stand at ease, at ease, because this is all about just becoming careful and curious. Nothing to lose. That's what I did.

And when I did this, I found so many different things that I could look towards. And some of them, yeah, I ignored. But some of them, oh, I ignored.

Oh, this is different. This is gonna make my life richer. And as soon as that part of me, the one that was holding me back, as it were, afraid of losing stuff, suddenly said, oh, this is new stuff, this is good stuff.

I hope it'd be better than the other stuff, but it fits me right now. So have a think. You see, think about rippling, the ripples.

The ripples of change go far and wide. You'll never know how far they go. But when you let go of what no longer serves you, because it no longer serves you, you don't just change your life.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. And your life will change immeasurably. I said before, you begin to be the example of what can be done.

You become the example to show other people what's possible. Look at them. They did this, they were so good.

And then they changed and they did this. I see them doing new stuff. And they're so, well, it just builds.

It's infectious. And you become that wonderful example of growth. And the thing is, it's not just the example of growth to others, I can't say others, but you become the example to yourself.

You suddenly understand what is possible. And then you become confidence because of your competence. Because it's careful curiosity, that's competence.

You give yourself permission now to go further and find a richer world. And then it's a bit like that butterfly I talk about being on the other side of the world where it's just flapping its wings gently. But now you become the wind of change.

Yeah, because it isn't just about you. As I said, it isn't just about you. No, not at all.

So let me just go back over something. Let me go back over it. Think of this.

What are you afraid of losing? Imagine the one that interests you from these questions. What are you afraid of losing? And is that losing real? Or simply imagined? For me, it wasn't bloody real. In fact, it was holding me back from wonderful things.

What is, and then you're going back into me again, what is that fear trying to protect you from? Ask the question, what is this fear trying to protect me from? And I say, for me, it was like losing my identity. And then I found that was bullshit. Because I'm me.

And the richer things I find in life to fill that void, man, I build on all my experiences. I don't let go of the experience that I've had to find something new. I build upon them.

What might prove possible when I loosen the grip? And that's exactly what I did. When I loosened that grip, things just became so much clearer. That candle inside me started to, it wouldn't roar because it's a wonderful candle, but it got brighter.

And the brighter it got, the better I felt, the more curious I felt, and the richer my life became. And here's, as we talk about identity, who, who would you become if you allowed the change? Or say it this way, who would I become if I allowed change? Write that one down. Sit down quietly with your G and T, your cup of water, your whatever.

Sit down quietly for five minutes and just go and repeat it. Who would I become if I allowed change? That's it. And I think, well, especially when you say, I give permission to that part of me to be at ease, to protect me when I need protecting, but just notice that's a role that I don't need quite so much anymore.

Not in that way. Yeah. Hopefully, hopefully that has sparked something.

It's resonated with you. That's my covert, because I've told you about it, that's how it's, not covert anymore. But that's my, that's the message I wanted to bring.

Give you all these different ways of, of understanding that we think we're losing stuff and we're not. So I hope that sparked something in you. And I'd love to hear about it.

You know how to do that? It's the email feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. I'd love to hear everything that is sparked about you. Let me know. Please share this with as many as you can, certainly interested people, because you might be able to give them a nudge to be free, to find freedom, free to be curious, courageous, creative, and just create a rich life for themselves.

Never have it, but please press that imaginary button, or in my head, but it's on your player of choice to subscribe to this. That's the only two things, pay it forward. And if this means something to you, oh dear, I can't breathe.

Please press subscribe. That's all I ask. And what I wanted to, to say was, from the metaphor of who's driving your bus, because maybe you weren't quite driving it fully.

Now you drive the bus. You drive the bus of your life. And I'm just here to maybe help you steer a little bit smoother.

And if we get a puncture, I can come with a repair kit. There's metaphors coming out all over the place, isn't there? And just remember, if it's okay just to remember, to be reminded and re-reminded, you don't have to let go of everything, because you're going to build up on everything. And sometimes, just to reinforce it again, it's just about losing your grip, loosening your grip.

And you see, you don't have to spit your dummy, throw everything out the window, just a little bit, a little bit. Because when you start doing that, well then we'll start throwing loads of stuff you don't need out and finding new stuff. Have more fun than you can stand, because my friend, from Paul, Personal Development Unplugged, the podcast, anxiety to confidence and all that stuff.

Hopefully, just lighten that candle a little brighter, because it's time to fly. Enjoy. Warning.

You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly now. Be brave, my friend.

Personal Development Unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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FMQ530 What Are You Afraid of Losing? (And How It's Holding You Back) Here's a question for you…

What are you afraid of losing?

Not gaining… not achieving… But losing.

Because here's the thing…

I've been doing a bit of deeper work on myself lately — you know, when life shifts a little and things you've always done… just don't have that same spark anymore.

And in that space… that little void… I found myself looking for something new.

A new direction… a bit more passion… a bit more something.

But the harder I looked…

The more it seemed to disappear.

Now that's frustrating, isn't it?

And it got me thinking…

What if it's not about what I'm trying to find…

But what I'm afraid of losing?

Because we all do it, don't we?

We hold on to things — even emotional stuff, even old ways of being — And we don't always know why.

And maybe… just maybe…

That's what's getting in the way of finding what we really want.

So this is just a seed…

A question to sit with.

What are you afraid of losing? And how might that be holding you back?

In the longer episode, we're going to dive deeper into this…

We'll explore what's really going on underneath… And more importantly…

We'll go through a process together — not just talking about it, but actually finding your answer.

Because that's where the change happens.

What's the Next Step? If this got you thinking… stay with me.

Make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss the next episode —What's the next That's where we do the real work.

And maybe… just maybe… You'll find something you didn't expect.

Share the Seed If you know someone who's searching… Or maybe feeling a bit stuck…

Share this with them. https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq530-what-are-you-afraid-of-losing

and have a look at the video too https://youtu.be/R-bP_zzZfr8

Let's get more people asking better questions.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Welcome to the Personal Development Unplugged podcast with me Paul. And this is a five minute quickie.

A seed, where I sow a seed or some thoughts of mine, where I want to go with a longer podcast where we can dive deeper. But instead of just diving deep into subjects, I found that was sometimes too big a jump. And I needed to think along different lines and get my thoughts to germinate.

And I want to do it with you too. So I wanted to share what I'm thinking about, so you can think about it too. And then on the longer podcast, we're together walking hand in hand, as it were, diving deeper into subjects.

And the subject I've been working on is, as you can see from the title, what are you afraid of losing? What are you afraid of losing? Now, I've been doing something over the last couple of months, which is, for me, a little bit unusual. I've been doing even deeper work on myself. Yeah, deeper work on myself, because things have been changing in my life.

And you see, those things, I've been losing some of the things I've been doing for years. And in that void that's been created, I felt lost a little bit. I felt I hadn't got things that I was passionate about anymore.

Still get hypnosis and things like that. But there are other parts of my life that just seemed to, well, they didn't have that spark anymore. The little candle inside me just started to get dimmer.

And I wanted to find new interest to spark passion. And I called it, this investigation, My North Star. Yeah, I have to keep looking that way, because I never know which blooming camera I'm on.

But I'm back again. But My North Star is my direction, where I want my life to be filled with more passion, more interest, more creativity, and be more worthwhile. I feel my life has been pretty worthwhile up to now, but I want to be even more, especially with this, these voids I've created.

I want them to be filled with good stuff, not just boring stuff. And I hope in my little adventure of creating this for myself, and I'm getting there, there'll be things of interest I can share with you too. So if you're having trouble with finding your direction, your passions, your mission, for being in the world, your best version of yourself and why you're here, stay with me.

But the thing is, I discovered something quite weird. And what the weird thing was, is the harder I bloody looked, it was like the further it disappeared. It was really frustrating, because I looked and looked and looked, I kept thinking about that stuff.

I just couldn't get it, as if I wanted something. I wanted something I could hold, to have, and it disappeared. And then something happened in my mind as I was thinking around this.

What am I afraid of losing? Which is weird, isn't it? Put the two together, looking for something, looking for something that's really going to be really good, really, really, really, really good. But having this fear of losing something. And it got me thinking about emotional issues.

We have emotional issues, but sometimes we hold on to them, don't we? Why is that? What are we afraid of losing? There's a theme there. Then I thought to myself, what about personal development? Which is a little bit like I'm doing myself. Sometimes when we're in this lovely bit of life of personal development, we're trying to progress ourselves, get that 1% better every day and all the stuff and all the good things, you know, creating that best version of ourselves or moving towards it.

It's there, we've just got to move towards it. But sometimes we falter, don't we? We plateau. And there's reasons why we plateau.

But sometimes we just don't move on from that plateau. Why is that? What are we afraid of losing? That's what keeps coming to my mind. Now I thought to myself, what about goals, our dreams, our desires? Sometimes we work on them and it just happens, doesn't it? But then there are other times.

And to me, sometimes they're the big things, bit like this North Star of mine. My goal, my dream, my real passionate desire to find something new in my life, to create something which is a benefit to me, the people around me, a little old planet Earth, which makes it totally ecological and fun. Why don't we achieve them sometimes? And I put it again.

I think sometimes we're afraid of losing something. And it's that fear of losing is stopping us creating marvellous, magical things in our life. What are we afraid of losing? And the thing is, these are just questions, aren't they? They're just questions.

But the longer podcast, I think I've got a bit of the answer. I'm not going to say I've got the total answer because there's always more answers to find. But I think when you find the answer, as I did, boom.

Once I understood what I was afraid of losing, things just got big. They became clear again. And the more I looked, the more I found.

So on the longer podcast, if you come with me, this is of interest to you. We're going to go deeper into what we're afraid of losing, how we can let go of that fear, understand what's happening on the inside. Find that passion, find that purpose.

And guess what? There'll be at least one process in that longer podcast. I don't know what it is yet. But we're going to have at least one or two processes because I love that is part of this passion that I'm finding now.

I don't just want to do talk about stuff. I hear so many people talk and they don't back it up. They don't give you the how.

They don't help you through that process. They just tell you, well, this is what you're going to look for. But no, don't tell you how to look for it.

Well, I'm not going to tell you how to look for it. We're going to look for it together in a process. And those answers that you find through the process, and I hope through the thoughts that we have, the deeper dive, will allow you to succeed in your life.

Because that's the whole basis, really, of personal development unplugged. It's using all the skills from NLP, hypnosis, everything I've ever got, into supporting you and me, by the way. You support me in finding our dreams, creating our dreams, succeeding in our dreams, and making little old planet Earth a better place to live.

And there is an end. The end is finding that real you. The real you that's going to make this life so worthwhile.

And I'll have a few questions along the way that'll make you think too. And the thing is, when we find that real you, and it's a simple little statement, it will create the ripples that will go so far and wide. It will change your life.

It will change the lives around you, your friends, your family. And I think you'll make a difference to little old planet Earth. Which is, I know I repeat it so many times, but if we can make one little tiny difference, like that butterfly flapping on the other side of the world, we're going to make a hurricane of change.

The wind of change. So please come with me. Please come with me on that longer podcast, which will be the one that follows this.

And it'll be called something like, what are you afraid of losing? But it might be called, what are you afraid of? I don't know. I ain't got there yet. This is all in the making, and that's part of this.

So come with me. Please share. So other people might be of interest, or it might be of interest to you.

You're interested in this stuff. Maybe have a little listen to old Cluffy here. He might have something for you.

The video is a bit bonky. They're not that professional, but hopefully the audio quality is pretty good. And he's got some real interesting things that help you change.

If you do that, that'd be great. Just share it along and press that. I haven't got the old things that come up on the screen.

Just press the bloody subscribe button. So you don't miss the longer podcasts. And they always pop on your playing device of choice.

All that stuff. When you do that, we're going to make a change together. So come with me and sit down for a spell next time.

Okay. Have more fun than you can stand. And guess what? It's time to fly.

So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe. It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people. And we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them.

And this will help help the podcast. It will help you and it will help everyone that you know. So if you could just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you know, that's the only cost, pay it forward to everyone.

And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet earth of ours and the people in it. Let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay.

Okay. You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning.

You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend.

Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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Your Growth Serves: Find Your Why, Build Confidence & Create Meaningful Impact What if personal development wasn't just about fixing yourself… but fulfilling something bigger?

In this deeper dive from the FMQ "The Big Why – Let's Refresh", we move beyond goals, habits and self-improvement — and into something far more powerful: Service through growth

Because when your "why" is only about you, motivation fades. But when your growth begins to serve others, everything changes.

In this episode, you'll experience a powerful process to help you:

• Reconnect with your deeper purpose
• See the ripple effect your growth creates
• And step into a version of you that is aligned, motivated and meaningful

This isn't about pushing yourself anymore…

It's about being pulled by purpose.

What You'll Discover * Why most people lose motivation in personal development * The real power behind discovering your true "why" * The shift from self-improvement → self-exploration → service * How your growth creates a ripple effect in every area of life * Why meaning and purpose fuel consistent motivation * How to move from "I have to" → "I get to" * Turning your life into a hero's adventure, not a grind

The Processes Inside This Episode 🔹 Process 1 – The Ripple Effect Visualisation Experience your future self growing into your ultimate vision …and notice how that growth:

• Transforms your confidence, relationships, and direction
• Creates a ripple effect into the lives of others
• Installs the belief:

"My growth serves"

Process 2 – Clarity Through Reflection Simple but powerful questions to anchor your growth:

• What do I need to let go of?
• What do I need to learn?
• Who am I becoming?
• How will this benefit others?

This is where insight turns into real change

Key Takeaway Personal development isn't something you have to do.

It's something you get to experience.

And when your growth becomes about more than just you…

You stop pushing You start being pulled And life becomes an adventure full of meaning

Core Message "My growth serves."

Say it. Feel it. Live it.

Because when you grow:

• You change your life
• You change the people around you
• You contribute to something bigger than you

And that's where true motivation lives.

Questions To Reflect On Don't just listen — use this.

• What am I ready to let go of?
• What do I need to learn next?
• Who am I becoming?
• What impact will my growth have on others?

And most importantly:

What's my real "why"… now?

Topics Explored in This Episode * finding your why * personal development motivation * purpose and meaning in life * self growth and transformation * confidence and identity change * mindset and success psychology * overcoming procrastination * personal development tools and techniques * creating purpose-driven success * self improvement vs self exploration

Final Thought What would it be like…

To walk through today And suddenly feel happy… for no reason?

Maybe your unconscious mind is already working on that.

And Finally please share this episode https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/478-the-big-why-the-ripple-effect-of-personal-development

Or the video of the whole thing https://youtu.be/HUEkr6cYtK4

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

#478 The Big Why - The Ripple effect Of Personal Development

So you're back for this deeper dive. And the big why, the big why the ripple effect of personal development is what people don't tell you. And when it works, and it does work, it affects all areas of your life.

So that's why I love promoting and being part of personal development. And that's why I do personal development unplugged. You see, the question you need to ask yourself about being involved in trying to develop yourself being the best version of yourself, why are you bloody doing it? What is your why? And maybe you think, well, it's therapy.

Because I've got an ism, or I've got like anxiety. I've got an inferiority complex, you know, I shouldn't be here. I got those limiting beliefs of I'm not good enough.

I'm not worthy. I don't deserve this. I think I'm invisible.

That's one that comes up a lot. I'm invisible, stay hidden. And they're all perfectly good reasons.

And they're not excuses this time. They're reasons for you to develop yourself, to be able to let them go, find the tools within personal development, and change the way you feel. Because you're not entitled, you must have a life feeling the way you want to feel.

You know, it's your choice. Your choice, nobody else's. So you can do that.

I mean, if you were to get really curious, maybe you'd think, yeah, it's therapy, but I really just want to get really confident. And the thing is, no one can give you confidence because you have confidence inside you. Let's think about that for a moment.

I've got the confidence inside me. Well, where the hell is it, Cluffy? Well, it comes from competence. And we're going to talk about that shortly.

But you don't want to be overconfident, do you? Because that's where you create issues in your life. And sometimes overconfidence is a way of trying to get those negative beliefs reinforced. I knew I couldn't do it.

I'm a failure, which is so, well, it's false. It really is. So let's just think for a little while, think of all the things you'd like to change.

Because that's part of personal development. But there's other things. Let me tell you a little story.

Because we like a story before we get into the deep stuff. And this is the thing about the ripples. Lovely young lady come to see me a few years ago now.

And she said, well, I've got this phobia of loud noises. And I'm thinking, that's interesting. We live in a life, the neighborhood where we live is really quiet.

So I said, where'd you get these loud noises? I want to know, because I don't hear them. And she said, well, they're all over the place. Where we live in the summer, there's a fireworks display every Saturday night for all the tourists.

And they frighten the life out of me. Oh, I've heard those. But they're not that loud.

But if they affect you, they do. And she says, if you think about it, most parties now have some type of firework display. They always have some bangers or things.

And in fact, people will make and buy fireworks just to let them off in the street. Yeah, I've heard that too. And it's terrible.

I can't go out. I can't go to a party just in case. I can't go out on a Saturday night because of that firework display.

And it's really, really ruining, you know, what I should have. I'm a young girl, I should be able to enjoy myself. And you're dead right.

She was dead right. So we did some work. And then she phoned me up because I said, you know, you got to test this stuff.

There's no good doing the work and then not testing because we've got to see that it works. Maybe you have to tweak a little bit. And she phoned back and said, I went to a birthday party over the weekend.

And there was lots of fireworks. They actually had a firework display. They brought one in and I was very nervous, Paul.

But then there was nothing. In fact, I watched and I was really interested and curious. I hadn't seen it because they're always hidden, but they were beautiful.

Yeah, the loud noises did give me a little bit. But that's what loud noises do to everybody, isn't it? But she said, here's the weird thing. And it wasn't weird to me, by the way.

But when you get this, the ripples, she said at work, things have changed. I'm so confident in myself. I speak up.

I share my opinions. I never used to do that. I always hid.

But now when I go out socialising, I'm confident in myself. It made such a difference to my life. I didn't realise how this affected me, but I'm so pleased.

And that's what it is. It's the ripples of change. You never know how far they go.

And you never know in which direction. But when you do change one thing in your life, and you get a little bit more confident there, you get more confident over there. And it's proper confidence, confidence in your competence.

And in this episode and episodes to follow, we're going to find your why, the real why. Because when you know the real why, you'll be pulled, you'll be motivated. And that's real.

You can't stop yourself then. Because you just want to do these things. And then you will be striving to be the best version of yourself.

Internal conflict gets resolved. We'll do a little bit today, we'll do it. And if you notice, we've been doing this on every longer podcast now, resolving conflicts.

So go backwards and forwards through the catalogue. Come with me. And when you find that why, we'll be installing like a motivational alignment, you'll be aligned.

So you won't have the negative beliefs trying to stop you doing things because it's safer doing the things you want to do when we do it in the right way. When we've got access to the right tools, resources, your unconscious mind comes with us and says, this is safer, I don't need all that negative stuff, we've learned from it. That's where the alignment comes in, conscious and unconscious alignment, learnings.

And that's where you find growth. And then we'll just explore this ripple effect. Because when you start to notice where you find all the different things that are changing your life that you didn't realise, then you go, wow, do you know what, I can do whatever I like.

As long as it's ecological, you know, good for me, good for the people around me and good for little old planet Earth. That's when I'm really going to be my best version. A little bit of selfless service in there, doing things for others, because that's the way, that's what happens when you really start to change with personal development.

But let's have a little think, this confidence and competence. I'm very much into competence. Because when you're competent in an area of your life, you will be confident in yourself there, because you just know.

It's when you're not competent, and you're just confident you can do something. You know, I could be confident, I could fly a plane, I would not come with me by the way, because I've never flown a plane. But I'm just confident.

But if you're competent, and you learn things, you build upon them. Again, the ripple effect, you start learning things, because you see things in a different way. And you have curiosity.

I love curiosity, because that feeds the learnings and the learning state within us. And when we learn, we grow, we strive to be the best version of ourselves. And when we do that, you know, just having confidence alone, by the way, is delusional, a delusion.

Because it's nothing, it's not based on anything at all. So we don't want confidence, we want inner confidence. I have a programme called Supreme Inner Confidence, being confident in yourself.

I'm not selling that. Well, I am selling it, but I'm not pushing it now. Have a look at paulcloughonline.com if you want to have a little look.

There's a 30 day money back guarantee, and it only takes two weeks or 14 days, so you got plenty of time, send it back, I don't care. But it'll make a difference. But you see, when you have that confidence, it builds confidence inside you.

And that allows you to stretch. And when you stretch, you grow. And when you stretch, you grow, and the ripples keep changing.

They change you, they change different areas of your life. And they also change the people around you. And that growth, I guess, sometimes triggers resistance.

It's a little scary, isn't it? But when we just push a little bit, just beyond our comfort zone, our familiar zone, we tend to find it wasn't that scary. We'd be putting up an invisible barrier. And now we don't need to.

Because that resistance is purely an unconscious way of protecting you. Your unconscious mind saying, whoa, this might be scary. But if we can show each time that we stretch ourselves with safety, with resources, such as hypnosis, such as the processes of NLP that we do here, your unconscious mind can get the resources it needs to be able to use them to say, to keep you safe and grow.

Yeah. And so if you think about it, if resistance isn't the enemy anymore, what is it protecting? Because there's no need to protect anything at all. Think of this for a moment.

Think of this for a moment. If you were to identify a goal, something you want, you know, if you got that goal, what might you lose if you succeed? How can I lose something? You might say, how can I lose anything if I succeed? Well, think of this. You would leave, yeah, you'd leave it behind, but you'd lose that anxiety you had about it, that fear you had about it.

You'd lose that, I don't deserve to be here belief. You'd lose, I'm not worthy. I'm not good enough belief.

Because you're succeeding. And if the goal's an appropriate goal, and supported by your unconscious mind, and you do it in wonderful ways with the processes here at Personal Development Unplugged and the hypnosis here, you're just going to get better and better. And you can ask yourself, then what value is this protecting? Because if I lose things like anxiety and fear, because I'm more competent, I'm safer, because anxiety keeps you safe in a way, but it makes you feel so bloody terrible, you're not safe.

So there's that clash, that complete clash, conflict, we need to find a better way. That's what we do here. So we find a higher value.

What do you really want? And why is comebacks to the why? Why do you want it? Because we find a safer way, a safer value. And we can imagine it, visualise it, and then get comfortable with it. And when we're comfortable, we notice that we're working towards something, not coming away.

And when you're working towards something which is really good, and is aligned with your values, aligned with your goals, aligned with your safety, it's a lovely gentle stretch. Yeah. So here's the thing, what we want to do is begin to align the future, the future with the way you want to be, with your self image, that self image that you have, the real you.

So think of this for the moment. Maybe, I don't know if you want to close your eyes or not. But maybe you just begin to think, what would it be like if you brought a goal to mind? And notice that the feeling you would have getting it and got it would be that feeling of success.

Not the overconfidence, because you'll have got there and feel how competent you feel. Because you've learned along the way, you've had to stretch yourself. But when your unconscious mind is protecting you, that goal becomes congruent with the ultimate vision of yourself, that real you.

And when you're the real you, and you have access to all your learnings, all your experiences, that's when you can truly grow. And you can let go of emotions, negative emotions, limiting belief, but we do the work as well. We find processes to learn from those isms as they were.

And when we learn from them, we can then use the learnings to achieve those goals, to stretch and get them. And when we can visualise that, see yourself successfully completing something that in the past you were a little bit hesitant. Notice when you get there, what new opportunities, feel like.

Notice how it feels like you're being pulled towards a new goal, more opportunities to allow you to grow. What would that feel like? And maybe notice, just be aware of different areas of your life now changing too. Confidence is spreading, the learnings, the skill sets, your skills stacking, and being able to use different skills or skills in different areas of your life.

Maybe you feel comfortable talking at work, and now you feel comfortable talking socially, expressing your ideas. Yeah. And that's just a small thing, a small thing.

We can think about that. Because again, I want you to just realise the difference, the difference of having either overconfidence or maybe not really knowing your why, but knowing there's a why there, the why to develop yourself, personal development, and making it unplugged as it were. And we're slowly exploring this in a very light way.

And we can do it, and I think I will, do this in a deeper hypnotic style. So we can align your why and resolving in a conflict. What would that be like? Yeah.

Now, now think about it for the moment. Think. Let's think about the bigger picture.

You see, most people think of personal development being a bit selfish, because all you're doing is working on yourself. But the thing is, if you've seen somebody who is anxious, nervous, you feel it, don't you? You feel it yourself. You feel anxious yourself.

If someone's very negative all the time, maybe depressed, they bring you down, don't they? Whereas when you can, say, regulate your emotions, because negative emotions will always be there. But now we have the tools to deal with them or learn from them. And we're feeling, say, grounded.

We're feeling our true self. It makes others feel safe too. You become the change you want to see in others.

So it's the most unselfish thing to do, to work on yourself. And you see, when you get that inner competence and inner confidence, and you behave in that way, other people get confident with you. You bring them along.

No longer is that tall poppy syndrome where they try to cut you down. You bring them along with you. And you see, when they see you stretch, striving to be a better version, giving selfless service, it's as if you're giving permission to the people around you to say, this is good, this is okay.

And you're not doing it for ego now. No ego here. And where does that ripple effect go when you're that way? Let's think about it.

When you're more confident in yourself, and you're feeling good about yourself, genuinely aligned with your goals, you have goals that you're striving for, you're achieving, what happens to your family dynamics? How you connect, how you share in your family. And these don't have to be just family members. These are people who act like family members too.

Think of it at work, how your stature changes, your words change because of your inner confidence. Because you're growing, you're moving on, moving up. You're showing the world who you really are.

You're not hiding, you're not invisible anymore. You want to share. And you also know your boundaries, because you're not overconfident.

You ask questions. You show that you want to learn because you're curious. And when you're like that, socialising becomes a dream.

And everyone needs to socialise. We need friends, we need people to discuss, we need people to challenge us in a good way. Think about that now.

And maybe how you approach people you don't know, friends yet to come. Because instead of shrinking away, maybe at a gathering or something, you shrink away from them. What happens now? You're confident to discuss things, to share things, maybe a story or two, maybe to ask really good questions.

Because you become interested in people now, because you can. And when you're interested in people, you become interesting to them. And then you find new friends, new circles.

You see, that why we're talking about, that why, is not just for you, is it? It's not just about you now, when you see this, it affects not only you but the people around you. Isn't that brilliant? So here's the thing, here's again what I want you to do, another process, sort of, again a visualisation, a visualisation. Because I want you to begin to look at your identity differently.

It's not just self-improvement now, self-development, it's growth and your service through growth. Say that again, it's not just service but service through growth, your growth. So close your eyes for a moment, if it's okay, if it's okay and you'll be undisturbed, if not pause, come back to me when you're ready.

But find a place where you can close your eyes, just take the distractions away, where you'll be undisturbed just for a few moments. Not going to be long, but I want you just to see yourself over there, see yourself over there, beginning to grow, grow as not just a person but to grow into your real self, growing towards that ultimate vision of yourself, the real you. Not the old you, because the old you had all those isms, the issues, the limiting beliefs, but growing towards the ultimate vision of yourself with all those wonderful supporting beliefs, positive beliefs, behaviours and emotions, where you're showing others the possibilities and exploring them yourself.

And as you see yourself growing in that way, notice the immediate changes in yourself, the benefits that you have, because you're aligned, congruent, learning, stretching, getting fitter in mind, body and spirit. Now begin to notice a moment, if you could see time and space around you, that ultimate vision of you. Notice as you bring your awareness wider and wider, begin to notice that ripple effect, how things are changing in not only your life, in those different areas of life, using your mind, body, spirit, your mental capacity, your stature, the way you hold yourself and hold yourself to your values.

Notice ripples coming away from the ultimate vision of you, the way you're working towards, and notice how they're changing, different areas of your life, because you can imagine that now, imagine how your career is changing, how your relationships are changing, those real personal relationships and the general social relationships, how life becomes more comfortable and is that foundation that you can push away from again, to grow even more, to affect even more. And maybe you can begin to see, feel and believe, my growth serves, that's it, my growth serves, it serves you, it serves others around you, it serves little old planet earth, because in this service, you're activating your contribution to the world, and that's in so many different forms, your life has now meaning, has meaning and purpose, you're finding your passions and your passions fueling your purpose, and your meaning fueling your passion. Life now has true meaning, and because of that, your motivation is always there, because you're now being pulled by having these wonderful values and living to them, understanding them.

And the thing is, without having the goal of leaving a legacy, that's what you're doing, you're making your mark on this little old planet earth, the people around you, in your neighborhood, maybe bigger than that, maybe it's just at home, it doesn't matter, you are making a difference, and it's a difference that becomes a difference, just let that sink in just for a little longer, that contribution, the meaning, the motivation, the values, leaving a natural legacy, because you are who you are, my growth serves, that's it, no more. And then with a wonderful deep breath, you can open your eyes, and we're back, isn't that good? You see, when we have that, and by the way, I'm even thinking about doing that as a hypnosis track, so we'll have two out of this, and you can come back to it and regenerate it if you need to, you know, reignite the energy within you, just to remind and remember. But we're moving now, you see, we're moving when we have this personal development, and we have it as a thing to do, because it's us.

Remember, my growth serves, and we're growing, it's now pulling, as opposed to being pushed, what other people think we should do. People tell you what you ought to do, or tell you what you shouldn't do. No, this is us, moving towards what we want, and we know what we want is good for us, good for others, and good for little old planet Earth.

Instead of, I have to, we go to, I want to, I have a desire, I want to do this, I get to do this, and it's no longer an obligation, is it? And it comes back to what I say, it's not the journey, it's an adventure, every part of it, it's that hero's journey becomes hero's adventure. Yeah, you'll come across a few things, but you'll be able to find the resources, processes, you'll find people, mentors, opportunities, and instead of calling it personal improvement, maybe we'll call it personal exploration. That's different, isn't it? So, I want to support you, I want to help pull you, I want to pull you up to your highest level, support you in your dreams, find anything I can to help you get to where you want to be, and then realise you can go even further, bigger, better, help you deal with the people who are going to throw stones at you, metaphorically that is, pull you back because they don't want to be left behind, but they're going to show them what's possible, you're going to bring them along, you're going to pull them along by doing what you do, and doing and being who you are, and you know, it's all about making this serious, but serious fun, have fun doing this bloody stuff, it's no bloody good just getting so deep and serious, no, let's enjoy the work.

I can remember times when I used to go to my early NLP practitioner lessons, you know, lectures and things like that to become a practitioner of NLP, and there were people there who were so bloody serious, they had to read everything, they were bloody boring, and they didn't do anything with it, they just kept getting too serious, get into curiosity, have some fun, and create this adventure, the adventure of you, we talked about writing your book, this is you writing the chapters of the future, and living them, now when you look back and you go, whoa, I've got all these people I want to dedicate this book to, my life to, for helping me, and I've also got wonderful memories of how I served. So here's the thing, I've got a couple of questions for you before we go. What did this bring up? What are you letting go of? What do you think you need to let go of? And if you can, write these buggers down, dictate them on your phone, do something, I don't want you to lose this, I want you to remember it.

So what are you, what are you letting go of? What do you need to let go of? What would you like to learn in order to get to where you want to be? What would you need to learn? Do you need to let go of something? What do we need to learn to get new stuff? Who are you becoming? Who do you want to become? And when you put that all together, when you've let go of what you don't want, and when you've learned what you need to learn, and that'll be constant, not constant, it'll be, it'll carry on forever. But when you really start living the life and becoming who you really are, who and what will that benefit? What will the benefits be? You see, when you change, you don't just change you, do you? No, you change the field around you, the energy field, the essence and energy of you just keeps spreading and spreading and spreading. So as you think about that, what do you need? What do you need that's important for you to go on this wonderful adventure of creating the real you, the you you're meant to be? You see, when you've written that down, I'd love to know what they are.

So I can help you find the resources you need, either resources in you, or the learnings that I can share with you, so you can grow. As I said, to support you in your dreams and goals and desires, to make sure you get them bigger, better, brighter and quicker. So you can do even more.

You see, email me those feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. And then we'll really know where we're going to focus our attention on. So you get what you need to get. And remember, this isn't something that you have to do, but the questions are.

It isn't what you have to do. It's what you get to do. You get to experience all of this and enjoy it.

Because we're going to make it fun. Fun adventure. So yeah, you do have to send those email to me with what you're letting go of, what you want to learn.

I want to know where you want to be, who you want to be and what you want to do. And when you do that, just it's like the emotions you want to experience. And how will you benefit? How will it change you? What will those effects you think will be? You know, that energy field around you.

There you go. Hopefully you really enjoyed that. I hope you do.

I enjoyed rabbiting away like this, because that's where we're going on the longer podcast. I'll be saying C's in the five minute quickie about these subjects. So keep your ears and eyes open.

And to do that, what do you do? You subscribe, press that subscribe button, or follow button or whatever it is. So you get these every bloomin week. Because everyone I think will have a golden nugget in for you.

Maybe not 100%. But there'll be things you'll either take on, or they'll go in for another day. Or it'll just be, ah, that's reminded me of what I already know, but I'm not maybe using.

I'm going to use it now. That's what it's all about. Lots to think about there, isn't it? Lots to think about who you're going to be and how your world will change.

And that's the bit that said no one tells you. They don't give you the hows. Most people don't.

They don't give you the hows. They just talk. And we're going to walk the walk.

Okay. So until next time, my friend, I'm your friend, Paul. And we'll get it together on the longer podcast and the five minute quickies which last 10 minutes now.

And we'll have loads of hypnosis and processes to add to everything we do. So have more fun than you can stand and write those bloody things down and send them to me. Okay, I'll see you next time.

Have fun doing all of this. And just think, what would it be like if you were to wander around today, and suddenly, and suddenly, feel happy for no reason? Oh, I wonder if your unconscious mind would do that for you now, or later, or sometime, but just do it today.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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FMQ529 – The Big Why: Let's Refresh Sometimes we just need to pause… and refresh.

Not another technique. Not another goal. Not another productivity hack.

Just a simple question:

Why are you doing this personal development thing anyway?

In this short FMQ episode I invite you to take a moment to review where you are on your personal development adventure.

Whether you're brand new to this work or you've been exploring it for years, a refresh is powerful. Looking at how far you've come, what you've learned, and where you truly want to go next.

Because personal development isn't just about fixing problems.

Yes, we resolve anxiety, panic, limiting beliefs and all those other "isms"… but it's also about learning new skills, developing competence, and becoming a better version of yourself.

And here's the difference many people miss:

Confidence without competence can fall apart. But competence naturally creates confidence.

The real key though is motivation.

When your why is clear, you stop pushing yourself forward… and instead feel pulled toward the life you want.

And that's what this episode seeds for the longer podcast episode — discovering something most people overlook in personal development:

The ripple effect.

So before the next episode, take a moment to reflect:

• What do you want to let go of?
• What do you want to learn?
• What do you want to achieve?
• And most importantly… why?

Bring that curiosity with you into the next episode and we'll unlock something powerful together.

Have more fun than you can stand.

It's time to fly and share https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq529-the-big-why-lets-refresh/

But Before you do ➜ Continue the Journey In this short FMQ episode we've refreshed one important question:

Why are you really doing personal development?

But there's something even more powerful most people never realise.

When you begin changing yourself, something unexpected starts to happen…

Your growth creates ripples.

In the next full episode of Personal Development Unplugged we explore:

• Why confidence without competence can sabotage progress • How hidden value clashes block motivation • A powerful process to align your "why" • And how your personal growth quietly influences everyone around you

If you want motivation that pulls you forward instead of pushing you…

Don't miss the next episode.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

FMQ529 The Big why Let's Refresh

Welcome to this shorter episode because I want to sow, as usual, a seed.

But it's a refresh. A refresh because I think we can all do with refreshing what we know or what we think or our aims and goals. Because it doesn't really matter whether you're a master of personal development, or been doing it a long time anyway, or brand new.

It really doesn't matter because every time, even just looking at what we've done and how far we've come along, we've achieved what we've achieved, what we've done. It's great to refresh, to review. To review what we've done, what we've achieved, or review where we're going.

But also just to know why are we doing this bloody thing? What are we doing it for? And there's something really, really special about personal development when you really get into it. And it's something that not a lot of people tell you about. And if you knew about it, you'd do it even more.

Are you going to tell me Cloughie? Yeah, I mean indeed, but not yet. Probably on the longer podcast. Well, I know I'm going to tell you on the longer podcast.

You see, some people see it as therapy. Personal development as therapy. And the longer episodes here at Personal Development Unplugged are very therapeutic.

I try to include at least one process within every longer podcast. So in some ways it is a therapy. But some of those processes are for a completely different aim, have a different aim.

They're for creating new skills, using new skills. I'll talk about that shortly. And you see, even the subtitle of this podcast, the Personal Development Unplugged podcast, if I could say it right, is anxiety to confidence.

Because that's where I want people to be able to go. And it's anyway how close you are to confidence and being the most confident person in the world. But that's not just confidence, it's competence.

It's another difference that people don't tell you. If you can be competent, then you will be confident in you. But if you just get confident about things, you could be wrong.

You were confident you could do that, and you crashed and burned. And that's not a good feeling. And it's only a sort of good-ish feeling if you learn from it.

But sometimes when we crash and burn, it sets us back, because we don't learn from it. And then that sets another pattern of negativity, as it were, negative beliefs. So what else? You see, some see personal development as a resolution, resolving trauma.

Yeah, and it is in some ways. Then you've got all those bloody isms. Yeah, isms.

You've got anxiety, you've got depression, you've got panic attacks, you've got FOMO, that being just insecure. You've got other emotions such as grief, sadness, anger. Now personal development, here anyway, is a way of letting those go.

They're here for a reason, by the way. And we learn from, because then we are developing ourselves. But there's the other side of it.

It's about learning new tools. Learning tools that we can develop ourselves, so we can strive to be the best person, the best edition, as it were, of ourselves, and keep going for that little bit more, that 1% more. Can I? Constant and never ending improvement.

But the thing is, when you do strive for more, and you push in that boundary, you're just going and stretching and stretching. Sometimes that can bring up emotions, negative beliefs. And that's where personal development unplug comes in again.

Because the more we push, sometimes we come across something and we need to resolve that. Then we have to set goals. And sometimes when we're setting our goals, we find sometimes we procrastinate.

Sometimes we get to a point, I just don't know what to do. Again, personal development brings in tools to allow you to let go of procrastination, get those positive beliefs, and start to find the patterns, the strategy for success, to become the ultimate vision of yourself, which you'll never actually be by the way, because it's ultimate. We're going to keep going for it.

But what we're going to do is enjoy this adventure. That's the thing other people don't tell you. It's like, it's a thing I have to do and I have to troll through it and push through it.

Now you get pulled through it. Pulled through it because there's a desire to be better. And the desire to enjoy this adventure, to have fun along the way.

It's not just that target, that goal in mind. No, it's every step along the way. If we can have fun every step of the way, creating changes in ourselves, what a wonderful thing.

But the thing is, it comes down to one thing. What's that one thing, Cluffy? I will tell you, I will tell you. It's your why.

Why do you want to improve yourself? And this could be in any genre. This could be in any area of your life. Because you may be cracking at me, you know, really doing it really well in one area of your life, but the other area, not so much.

But why do you want to do it? It's when we find our why. And sometimes there's some little bits of pulling us back in that why. There's a clash of values maybe.

I want to do this so much, but it means I have to neglect this so much. And I don't want to neglect that, but I really want that. Well, there's that clash of values that we come up with a process to allow you to achieve your goals.

But is that why? Once we find our why, we get total motivation. And that's why I say it's like being pulled towards the goal that you want for yourself. And the thing about all of this, and again, some people do hint at this.

There's one or two guys I really respect, and they are really pushing it. But a lot forget it's all about service. Because when you become the best version of yourself, you're showing other people, your friends, your colleagues, people just around you, what is possible and how much is possible.

Well, that's the limit of your imagination. And no one controls that. If you can imagine it, we can find a way to get it.

Unconscious mind never knows what's real or imagined. So when we can start to imagine it, limiting beliefs disappear. It becomes something that we think we've already done.

And that's part of the process we use here in Personal Development Unplugged. Getting your unconscious mind to go, yeah, I can do this. I can see the benefit of it.

I can see it is safe to do so. It's comfortable. Because that's where all these issues come in, by the way.

There's always a degree of your unconscious mind trying to keep you safe, but holding you back from things. There's a real clash when that happens. And when we can educate the unconscious mind that it's actually better for us to find these new ways.

You just, well, you change in leaps and bounds. And that's where I want to go. Because it's that one thing that people don't talk about what happens when you do.

And that's what we're going to talk about at the longer podcast. Okay, so be with me, come with me in the longer podcast, the next episode. And we're going to find about ripples.

Yeah, ripples. You have a little hint there. But I just want you to think over the next few days.

Where am I on this little adventure of personal development? What are the things I want to let go of? What are the things I want to learn? And what are the things I want to achieve? And then when you come with that in mind and curiosity, we'll be able to do stuff. And that'll really get you into that motivated state of mind, where then the longer podcasts and future will things will all just come together. Okay, so have fun, more fun than you can stand.

And I'll see you on the next longer episode to really crack this personal development lock. Okay. See you then it's time to fly.

Bye bye. So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind. If you enjoyed this podcast, or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe.

It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people. And we love to leave everyone in a better place that we found them. And this will help help the podcast, it will help you and it will help everyone that you know.

So if you could just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you know, that's the only cost, pay it forward to everyone. And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet Earth of ours, and the people in it. Let's make a good world, a nice world.

Okay. Okay, you can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough.

It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

Don't Blame Your Parents Or Anyone Else *]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" tabindex="-1" data-turn-id= "request-68429ab0-d338-800c-96c4-a023c498401f-1" data-testid= "conversation-turn-461" data-scroll-anchor="true" data-turn= "assistant"> Who are you blaming?

The weather? The economy? Your ex-boss? Your trauma? Your parents?

In this deeper dive from the FMQ seed "Who or What Is to Blame?", I take you through something powerful:

Blame feels like a reason… but it's actually an excuse.

And here's the uncomfortable truth:

If you stop blaming… what happens to your story?

In this episode, I walk you through two simple but life-shifting processes to help you:

• Let go of resentment and emotional baggage
• Reclaim your personal power
• Release blame without denying what happened
• Stop living at the "effect" side of life
• Move back to cause — where choice lives

We're not denying the past. We're learning from it.

And when you learn… you're free.

What We Explore * Why blame keeps you stuck in victimhood * The hidden fear behind letting go of your story * The shift from "This happened to me" to "This shaped me" * How empowerment feels safer than excuse-making * Why your parents were doing the best they could * How to stop dragging emotional baggage through life

Process #1 – Letting Go of Someone You Blame A short but powerful visualisation to:

• Thank the person for the lessons
• Recognise the connection between you
• Cut the emotional cord
• Dissolve resentment
• Reclaim your personal power

This works for:

• Ex-partners
• Parents
• Former bosses
• Friends
• Anyone you still feel "connected" to emotionally

You neutralise the emotional residue… without denying what happened.

Process #2 – Releasing Blame Toward Your Parents This one is beautiful.

You visualise your parent as a tiny innocent child.

Before the beliefs. Before the limitations. Before the behaviours.

You see them as they truly began — just like you.

And something shifts.

Blame dissolves. Understanding appears. Compassion grows. Empowerment returns.

Because now you realise:

They were doing the best they could with the resources they had.

And now…

You get to choose differently.

The Core Shift Instead of:

"This happened to me."

You say:

"This happened. I learned. And now I choose."

That's the difference between living at effect and living at cause.

Blame keeps you small. Learning makes you powerful. Responsibility gives you freedom.

And here's the kicker…

If you let go of blame, you don't lose your story.

You gain your future.

In This Episode You'll Discover * Why blame feels protective (but drains your energy) * The emotional cost of carrying resentment * How to release anger without suppressing it * Why compassion doesn't mean approval * The difference between remembering and reliving * How empowerment naturally replaces excuse-making

Key Takeaway You are not defined by what happened.

You are defined by what you decide now.

And once the emotional charge dissolves… clarity appears. Confidence grows. Choice returns.

No more dragging the past around like a suitcase full of bricks.

Just freedom.

If This Resonated… Share this episode with someone who:

• Blames their past
• Blames their parents
• Blames their boss
• Blames themselves

Sometimes the people who need it most are the quiet ones holding it all in.

Call to Action If you enjoyed this episode:

• Subscribe or follow the podcast
• Leave a review
• Share it with someone you care about https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/477-dont-blame-your-parents-or-anyone-else
• And visit the free hypnosis page to deepen the change

Because this isn't about blame.

It's about reclaiming your life.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

#477 Don't Blame Your Parents Or Anyone Else

. So we're back with the longer deeper dive from the FMQ. Who or what is to blame for your failure? Do you remember that one? Remember those excuses? The excuses? Oh, it was the weather.

Look, I can't do it because the weather's not right. I have to wait for the summer. I have to wait for the winter.

The economics, well, you know, it's not quite right at the moment. You know? Or, well, if it wasn't for them, because they didn't accept me, they didn't support me, you know, and then we get that belief, which is, I'm not good enough. I don't belong here.

It's just all excuses, isn't it? Well, we think they're reasons, don't we? We think they're reasons, bloody good reasons why we haven't succeeded. This is blame, isn't it? We're blaming somebody else or something else. Maybe we're, we're blaming, well, that trauma I experienced when I was younger.

That's given me all these other isms. Because you get isms, don't you? Everyone has an ism these days. And they, I'm sure they were about a long time ago, but it didn't seem to be an excuse then.

People got on. They dealt with things. They took responsibility.

We'll go there later. We even blame our parents, don't we? They didn't support me. They didn't guide me.

They weren't there for me. I've even got a thing that I used to blame. It was an ex-boss of mine.

And he was a mentor. He was a superb guy when I was a fledgling in my first career. And he supported me.

He did everything for me. Until one day. Until one day, he didn't.

And he did it quite publicly. And to the point where I had to leave that company. And he didn't bat an eyelid.

So I thought, anyway, so I thought, in my mind, God, why did you do that? I needed your help. I could have stayed. I could have done something if you'd have been there.

So it's your fault. And I harboured that resentment. Because I lost a bit of confidence.

I lost a lot of confidence. And I thought, you're to blame. I never used to be like that.

Now I am. That's gone, by the way. Because I did some work.

We did one of the processes, and I did promise you two. Two processes, and that's what you're going to get today, in this episode. And one of the processes is to let go of that connection with somebody.

Somebody who you're blaming, or you feel is to blame. Or you use an excuse to blame. I did for a little while.

And then I did this particular process we're going to do. And if I met him now, it would be cool. I'd be okay.

And he'd be okay. And you see, it's all about, are we living at the effect side of life? Because it's cause and effect. And each one I've told you is an effect.

We're giving what we think are reasons, and in fact, they're excuses. Now we have a real issue here. You see, one of the questions just below the conscious level is maybe the question that you don't like to answer.

And what is it? Well, if I stop blaming dot dot dot dot dot, what happens to my story? You know, what happens? Because it's a story I've been telling myself for so long. And if that goes, I'll tell you. We're going to go through the answers, but I'll tell you, you're going to feel absolutely brilliant when it goes.

Your story will be your true story. The real you, the empowered you, because that's where we're going. Empowerment, which seems really grand, but it is when it feels that good.

So at the moment, if you feel like this, it's like it happened to me. This happened to me. It's a story I'm telling again.

They did this. Another story we're telling. Because of X, I can't do that.

Cause and effect. They're all causes, aren't they? And effect. But the real thing is, you're not a victim.

You're not. And that's victimhood, if that's a word. We're just sitting in that victim little mentality and blaming the past, blaming the people, blaming everything.

It's all because, because, because, because. And we're going to change that. There will be a shift.

Now this is a covert bit, but I'm going to tell you it because it's now overt. This is a shift I want to make. I want you to be able to say, this happened to me.

It did happen. Past tense. But I learnt.

And I've learnt this. And this is how I'm using it. I want you to be able to say, that shaped me to the person I am now.

It doesn't define me. I define me. I do that.

I've got my dreams, my goals, my values. I have my positive, supportive beliefs. I define me.

But I learn from the past. I learn from my experiences. I create me.

I build me. And at the bottom of that is, I choose. I choose how I want to be.

I choose the steps I make. I choose my opportunities. I create them.

Massive shift there. But all it takes is a little, little bit of refinement. That's it.

Now, we said two processes. I'm just letting that sink in just a little bit. Because consciously, you might be thinking about it.

But unconsciously, that's going in. Unconsciously, it's being seen as, oh, that's so much more powerful. Oh, that's so much more safer than living on the effect, the victim side.

When we take control. When we access all the resources we've got. All the learnings we've got.

We become safe. Because if you think about it, every excuse you give doesn't feel safe, does it? Because just one little thing. If you're blaming other people for where you are now, you're accepting that you have to wait for them to change before you can change.

That's bollocks. We acknowledge it. We acknowledge it happened.

We're learning from it. It shaped me. But now I get to do this, because I've learned.

So what did I do with that old boss of mine? A little process. And it worked so wonderfully well. And you can do it too.

You can do it too. And you can do it with me now, because we're going to do it now. So you don't have to do this eyes closed.

When I did it with him, and I also did it with a, I did this, I do it a number of times, but two examples. One, I did it with him because he was dragging me down. And I did it with a real good friend of mine.

And we were in business together. And I was going to change my direction in the business. And I didn't think we could let go of each other.

So we allowed, or I allowed this process to let go of him and send him on his way, safe and sound. So it can be done for, call it for the good, and letting go of the heaviness and the stuff that you want to let go. So it's a wonderful process.

It's not just for the negativity or negative side of your life. It can be done for positive. It's a great process.

And what I did was, now, I'll explain it first, and then we'll do it together, if it's okay. So you might want to find a place where you can be, or will be undisturbed. So you can close your eyes, you don't have to on this one, because it's just, it's like a visualisation and imagining somebody in front of you.

And as you imagine them in front of you, you'll notice how you're connected. Some people see it as a beam of light. Some people see it as a little thread.

Some people see it as like an umbilical cord. I see it differently for both of those. For the guy I was letting go to do his own thing and me to do my own thing, I saw quite a few different connections, like little beam of lights coming from my body to his in different places.

For the other one, the one, the ex-boss, I wanted to let go of that resentment, that hurt, that blame. I just saw a little thread. I've been dragging him around.

So here's what I want you to do. Find that safe place. Find that safe place where you'll be undisturbed for only about three or four minutes.

If you have to wait, pause, pause this and then get into that place. But just anywhere will do. If you want to close your eyes, you can.

You can do it sitting down or standing up. I didn't mind standing up because I just, for me, that's the way I like to do it. But anywhere is perfect for you.

And then I want you to imagine that person standing in front of you, maybe a couple of meters away, just in front of you. And there they are. If you want, you can pass on a thanks for the good things, things that you respected.

For the boss, there were things he did for me when he was my mentor and I thanked him. I had so much gratitude for the opportunity he gave me and how he taught. Similarly to my colleague, of the way we worked, the way he supported me, gave me opportunity.

And I thank them both. But we're doing one person at a time. And as you do that, just imagine or bring to mind, how you see that connection with them.

Is it little beams of light coming from your body to theirs? Is it a very thin, like gossamer steel thread? Maybe it's a rope, maybe it's an umbilical cord. Whatever it is, it's fine. Just imagine seeing yourself connected to you, to them and giving that thanks.

You can maybe just begin to feel. If it's a negative emotion beginning to disappear, dissolve. You know, we're neutralizing that resentment and reclaiming our personal power.

If it's with somebody that you're just letting go in your life and think of like a past partner, you can just thank them and then feel that personal power coming back. Just notice everything and you maybe just ask yourself, for your unconscious mind to ask itself, what did I, what can I learn from this connection to make me stronger? And one thing we could just realize, that everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they can access right now. They're not their behaviors, that's not the person.

Because behind every positive, every behavior is a positive intention. They're doing the best they can for themselves with the resources that they're being able to access at the moment. Maybe they were suffering from anxiety, depression, you don't know.

Maybe there was problems elsewhere that you didn't know about. They were doing the best they can, they're not their behaviors. So maybe as that slips into your unconscious mind as another resource, you can just thank them for the lessons learned.

And as you do that, imagine in your hand is like a metaphorical knife, some people think of it as a sword or maybe just a pair of scissors and just cut that cord or dim those lights and turn them off and allow them to disappear into the past where they belong. That's right. Dissolving all the emotional residue.

Letting it go. Knowing that in the future if you met them again you would meet them clean with this inner power, this inner strength and all the learnings. Because you'd be in charge of you.

And when you've done that, take a wonderful deep breath and open your eyes and come back to me and notice how you feel. Notice how you feel. For me it was really weird.

I seemed with my boss to understand what he was going through even though I didn't really know consciously. But I could imagine things I'd forgotten because that blame, that resentment was in the forefront of my mind and as soon as that peeled away, disappeared like a fog just blowing away, I could see clearly. I felt I could see clearly and that was so good.

With my colleague who I was letting go to continue his business while I did a different business, this type of stuff, I felt a lightness. A lightness that it was okay. It was like giving myself permission to do the things that I wanted to do.

I wasn't being held back and it was okay. It was okay. I was on another step of my adventure, my journey.

I don't like the word journey but it was my adventure to a new life, a new part of my life, another step in another part, another chapter of my book as it were, my own personal book of my life. So just let that sink in and sometimes you can maybe let it go for a day or two and then just notice how you feel the next day. Just check in.

When you bring that person to mind, just bring them to mind and picture in your mind and go, how do I feel now? Ah okay and then you can just let it go. So there's that one. It's a lovely little process and you can, because it's so simple and in simplicity, there's genius.

If you wanted to you could spend a little longer doing it but quite honestly you don't need to. It's really just recognising, acknowledging, thanking, getting your unconscious mind to learn and then letting go. But you can replay that whenever you want and what I'll probably be doing is I'll be doing this as a separate track for my hypnosis page.

So it'll be complimentary hypnosis where you can spend a bit longer and go into a deeper state if that's what you feel like. If you feel you need that deeper state and you get that deeper unconscious knowing, then I'll be doing that I think. But I'll let you know.

But you don't need it if you don't need it but if you do, I think it'll be available. So there you go, that was process number one. So what's process number two Cloughie, you might say? Well, it's our parents isn't it? Sometimes we blame our parents and we blame them for the expectations we had as a child I think.

That was for me. I had what I thought was the dream that I wanted to do and I didn't feel supported. I didn't feel that I was given the right advice.

In fact I feel, I feel, I can't remember specifically but I felt I was told you'll never make it. It's too difficult. Don't do that.

Go for the safe and the steady. Now I can understand that now. I can understand why that advice was particular to them because I've given that type of advice to my children and I'm thinking oh really Cloughie? Can I add to it now? And that's what I do.

I give them two sides of the of this of what I think might be the story they they need to take and then they can develop it and they do. But sometimes you know we think of our family members that are not supporting us you know maybe we've inherited their narratives. their beliefs, their unmet expectations, because sometimes parents like to live through their children, don't they? And sometimes we take all of that on as an identity. And when you think about it, that was your parents doing the best they could with the resources they could access. They were doing the best they could with their connections to their parents, your grandparents, and even their going back and back.

Where did those beliefs come from? Generations ago, they've all been just evolved a little bit, but sometimes those were different circumstances in the world. That belief supported them back then, but now it's not yours. But you took it on as a sponge.

So you're responsible in some ways, even though you were a tiny little child. You took it on as a sponge because you just loved your parents. They were the only people that you would take that information from uncritically, because that's what we were when we were that young.

But even as we grew older a little bit, they were doing the best they can. That was not their behaviour. Who they were as an identity level was not their behaviour.

That's the bit you saw. They were always doing the best they can with a wonderful positive intention, but sometimes it wasn't right for you. So how are we going to let go of that? How are we going to let go of that? Now, you might need a tissue.

I've done this a couple of times and we needed tissues, but you don't necessarily need them. It's not bad tissues. It's just tears of joy normally.

Tears of joy. All we're going to do is visualise parents individually. Again, maybe there's a certain parent that you attribute a little bit more blame, unsupportiveness, wasn't there for you maybe, and you hold that at the unconscious level maybe, or you wish it was different.

So pick that one. And here's what we're going to do. I want you to again, find a safe space, a place where you'll be undisturbed.

And it's adding on again. Take three, four, five minutes. And again, you can do it standing, sitting, lying, you can do this one in any position you like.

So all I want you to do is take a deep breath. And as you let it go, maybe allow your eyes to close because this one you can really focus in on now. Because this isn't about letting go.

It's about noticing, noticing something special. So as you breathe gently and easily, you can feel yourself getting more and more comfortable. And as you become more and more comfortable with every breath, just imagine in front of you and below you, just over there, a stage, a little stage in front of you and below you.

And on that stage, in a moment, we're going to have that parent come onto that stage. But not as they are now, not as they are in your mind, your memories maybe. But I want you to see them in a moment as a two year old, maybe even younger, no more than two year old, maybe a one year old, maybe as a little baby.

So imagine now inviting them to come onto that stage over there below you and in front of you. As a child, an innocent child, that's who they are. Innocent, waiting to learn from the world just as you were.

Waiting with all those wonderful expectations that they weren't really aware of, the whole life ahead of them, full of just love. Accepting love, giving love, pure innocence. And see that for, or see them for what they were then.

Just an innocent little child, waiting to go on their adventure, to go through their experiences, to form their own beliefs, whatever they are there. They're just waiting for it to happen now. And just notice that how you feel for them now, at that age.

Pure love, pure innocence. No expectations now. No blame.

How can you blame an innocent child? And allow that to go deep into your unconscious mind. Because that's a memory. It isn't yours.

It's theirs. But we all started this way. And in some ways, we, well, we chose our own path.

Doing the best we can, with the resources available to us. Sometimes experiences were not dumped on, but had to be gone through. Because that was their past and their future.

Doing the best they can, learning as best they can. Maybe they didn't have the opportunities as they grew up, as you have now, to be able to learn through processes like this. And maybe you can now feel this connection with them.

The innocence, the love. And maybe just ask yourself, I wonder what I can learn from this. And how can I use that learnings in the future? To grow.

To be me. To choose my life. Knowing this.

Because they had their own limitations. But that's not you. And you have all the resources that you need to create the life that you want.

That is here for you. That you deserve. And you deserve even more than you can imagine.

Because whatever you think you are, you're more. And when you think of that, you're even more than that too. So maybe you can just look to the future.

And wonder what new opportunities will come to you now. With this new learning. With this new perspective.

What would a wise mentor tell you now of how you can use this and create the life you want? How will it empower you? And just let that settle in for a moment. Maybe consciously it's a blank. Maybe consciously you're getting a picture.

A word, a feeling, an emotion. But just send your thanks to that beautiful child over there. And as you send your thanks and gratitude.

Acknowledging all they ever did and went through. Allow them to disappear. Into wherever they need to go.

Wishing them well. Sending them love. And just for a moment.

Just be you. Where is your centre? Where is your centre? Put your mind into your centre. Of who you really are.

And maybe you can now connect to that wonderful positive belief about you. I get to do this. I get to choose.

I deserve this. I'm going to make it happen. And then with a wonderful, wonderful in-breath.

Open your eyes. And we're back where we want to be. Now, when you're back.

When you are back. You can maybe want to take a moment or two. Maybe a little bit later when you've got some quiet time, you might make a few notes of what your intuitions are.

Maybe you can think about, well, what did you need back then that you didn't get? What didn't you get? Maybe you didn't get the support. Maybe you didn't get quite the love you wanted. Maybe you didn't get X, Y, Z. You fill in the blank.

And say to yourself, I give that to me now. I give me love. I give me support.

I give me whatever I need. Because you're now you. The real you.

The you that makes decisions. The you that wants to create the life you dream of, you desire, you want. And now you can.

And I suggest putting all this on paper. What now comes to mind of new opportunities, new dreams, new goals? Because now you are clearer and take the opportunity to really quickly as this all integrates and you then access all the stuff that's going on and be able to act upon it. Create your plans, your goals, your dreams, knowing that you're freer, you're lighter, you're not dragging around stuff.

You're no longer blaming because you're empowered. You're back at cause. I get to do this.

I get to decide. It's me, no bugger else. I can learn what I need to learn.

I've got a lot of learnings, a lot of resources, but I can also learn more. I can find more resources. I can find mentors.

I can find help through podcasts like this, films, books, so many resources available to you. You can do whatever you like, as long as you know the direction you want to go. Maybe you don't know exactly what you want as in a 20-20 vision goal, but if you can get that feeling, the feeling that you'd want to achieve when you're really succeeding in the way that you want to succeed, whatever success is for you, your dreams, your goals, how you want to be.

Get that feeling and I believe you'll begin to see the opportunities which will give you that. You'll begin to have opportunities to learn the things that will allow you to get there quicker, faster, bigger, brighter. And if you can bring other people along with you, absolutely fucking awesome.

Mental people share what you've learned and you can do that in so many different ways. You can say this is what I learned. Tell them as a story.

Give them advice if they need it. Advice given is this is what I do is better than this is what you should do. This is how I have done it in the past.

Give them examples of the story. Be that living example of what's possible. Be the you that you want to see in the world.

Selfless service. So when you do that and you expect nothing in return, guess what? You get a dump load of bloody good stuff. The law of reciprocation.

That's what happens. It's awesome. All for doing the good stuff and really striving to fulfill being the real you.

That version of you. That ultimate vision of you. Striving to get there.

It'll always change by the way because it always gets a little bit further away because you're getting closer and it wants to get even better. So it's a wonderful adventure and journal it. Journal your results, your thoughts and you'll be absolutely amazed of the progress.

So when you look back and you go last month I did this. Oh a year ago. Bloody hell.

You'll realise how far you've come because you never realise it at the time. But you look back over a few months, six months, a year and you can go wow I can't realise. I never knew how far I've come.

And then you can look to the future and then start making even more plans. And some of those plans will maybe give you a little bit of a ooh. And that's what I want to hear from you.

I want to hear the things that give you that little ah. Because then if you let me know what they are, we can come up with wonderful simple little processes like these to allow you to get even further. Because you've got all the wherewithal that you need.

Sometimes we just need a little bit of guidance and that's all it is. You drive the bus but sometimes you need a little sat nav to make sure you go around the obstacles. Yeah.

Have a think. How do you get in touch? Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com That's the email address. It's the only bugger here.

Everything is confidential. You get a personal reply. But also if we talk about it on the podcast as you've seen, no one has ever been mentioned here.

By name. Because it's all about how can we share and how can we learn even more. And talking about sharing, please share this to anybody.

Anybody that you know that just may be, you know, maybe dragging something emotionally, negatively emotional with them. It's all baggage. They call it, you know, I've got my baggage.

Yeah, we'll put it down and walk away. Once you've learned from it. So do that.

Press subscribe. So you get those seeded, I call them seeded FMQs now. The FMQ that seeds into the longer, longer podcast.

Get you to think about something. And then when we come here, you're already there without even noticing or knowing that you're ready to go. We've sown the seed and then we're going to water it and nurture it and move on.

So please share. Have more fun than you can ever, ever imagine. And sometimes you can be surprised.

Surprised, yeah. By feeling happy for no reason. And when you do, you go, Cloughie, you got me.

You go fly, my friend. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough.

It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

Who or What Is To Blame For Your Failure What are you blaming right now?

The weather? The economy? Your lack of time? Your past? Your boss? Your parents?

In this Five Minute Quickie (that's never quite five minutes 😄), I'm planting a seed that might feel a little uncomfortable…

Because blame feels justified.

It feels intelligent. It feels protective. It even feels responsible sometimes.

But what if it's actually costing you your power?

In this episode I begin to unpack:

• The hidden cost of living at the effect side of life
• Why excuses can feel like safety
• How trauma (big T or little t) can become an identity
• Why dragging the past forward drains your energy
• And how learning — not reliving — is the real shift

This isn't about dismissing your experience. It's about transforming it.

In the longer episode, we'll go deep into:

• Letting go of blame (without diving back into trauma)
• Releasing anger, guilt, disappointment and resentment
• Healing the "parent story"
• Clearing unresolved emotional ties
• Moving fully to the cause side of life

Because when you stop blaming…

You start choosing.

And when you start choosing?

Everything changes.

The Seed Question If nothing outside you was to blame…

What would you do next?

If this hits home, share it with someone who might be quietly carrying resentment or excuses around like heavy luggage.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq528-who-or-what-is-to-blame-for-your-failure

And make sure you join me for the deeper dive — because we're not analysing the past…

We're releasing it.

Subscribe, follow, and visit the free hypnosis page at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

More fun than you can stand. Wallow in pleasure.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Welcome to the seed of a longer podcast, the FMQ, the five minute quickie that lasts even longer now, and gives you hopefully something to think about, something to ponder, digest, let it germinate and do whatever it does, so when you come to the longer podcast, boom, we can go even deeper and make some wonderful changes in our life. And this one's called, and I'm not quite sure what it's called actually, it's either Who Do You Blame? or Who or What's to Blame? You see, some people like to blame the weather for the things they can't do.

Some people like to blame the economic environment. Some people like to blame, well, time, I haven't got enough time. And that's just a fact, isn't it? Living at the effect side of life.

And they're all wonderful reasons, aren't they? Are they balls? They're not reasons. They're not reasons at all. They're bloody excuses.

And we're going to dive deeply into that on the longer podcast. But we're also going to dive into something I think is even more important. Because everyone talks about cause and effect, living at the cause side, or living at the effect, living at the effect with all those excuses, or coming back to cause and becoming empowered.

And we do that here. Because I believe in that 100%. Once you start living at the cause side of life, you take control.

Everything is your responsibility. And with that comes all the glory. And the glory is just living the life you want to choose because you chose it, and you did it.

But then again, what else can you blame? Well, we've all suffered trauma, haven't we? Some with a capital T, and some with a little t. I think I've maybe had a little t when I was younger, a big T in the middle. And now I don't know what the bloody hell I've got. And maybe you think you haven't had any trauma.

Maybe you think you know that you've got trauma in your life, and you're still blaming it for what's happening into your life right now. And if I hadn't suffered it back then, and if those people hadn't been there back then, well, that's something we can really dive into to let go. Because it's draining.

Drains all your energy dragging that crap around. But if you might think, well, actually, I don't think I've got any trauma in my life. Well, I think if that's the case, you created strategies to cope and also have the learnings from it.

You've learned from it. So that trauma no longer exists in your life. It might be a distant memory.

It was bad back then. But because you've learned it, it's in the past, past tense. And if you have, if I had a hat, which I haven't, I'd take it off you.

And I'll go, awesome. I'd doff my cap to you. Because this is still going to apply to you, it is.

You see, you might not have or can remember trauma, but you might have people that you blame. Blame for the things that didn't happen in your life. And now you're here.

I mean, we're going to dive into in the longer podcast, who we blame. And why, what it costs us and what it wasn't and what it is. See, I have an example in my life when an ex-boss of mine, he let me down more than 100%.

If you can get more than 100%, that's what he did. And he did it in front of other people. And he was my mentor.

He did such good things for me. And then he did something which was terrible to me. But now, I can, I know if I met him, he might be dead by now.

But if I did meet him, or if I knew when I did the work on myself, if I were going to meet him, I'd have been fine. I'd have been fine. I'd have started again.

Because I'd have understood something. And it's understanding and learning, which then allows you to take responsibility for what you're doing now, and allows you to let go of that and be freer. No more reasons, which are bloody excuses.

You see, that's where I want to go. And there's the other thing. Now these all might hit a bell, but the other one is, it's my bloody parents, my mum, my dad, or mother and father.

I don't know, I call them my mum and my dad. You know, back then when we were little, little boys and girls, did they protect us from that thing? Did they encourage us? Or did they discourage us? Way back then. Now, did they do the things they should have done? They could have done? Well, maybe they didn't.

What else didn't they do? Come on, fill in the blank. It's your experience, your thoughts, your limiting belief. It's a belief anyway.

I don't think it's that supportive. But hey, they're the things we're going to be letting go in the longer podcast. We'll be diving to all of that and developing and creating a lovely process.

In fact, I think there might be two, I'm not sure. I like to do two, but there's definitely going to be one. Well, there is, I know now.

There's going to be two wonderful processes. One about our parent thing and one about letting go of other people. And you see, in that way, we let go of blame, anger, sadness, guilt, everything, emotion, disappointment, anything, because we can be at peace.

And once we're at peace with it, and we've learnt from it, and we've had that experience in our life, we can grow from it. If you think of every person who's a thought lead and all that, they've all had shit lives right at the very beginning. I think some of them might have made it up though.

But we do grow from the traumas, big T, little T, once we've learnt from, and they give us opportunities. And maybe we'll just sit and learn how to then create the life we want, because we won't have excuses, we won't have reasons, but we'll have empowerment. We'll have responsibility.

But with that responsibility, we'll have the resources, because that effect, the emotions, limiting beliefs caused by our blame, has been holding us, holding us back, giving us all sorts of visions, visualisations, chatting in our head, why we can't do it, and all this stuff. Once we get that out of the way, the positive self-talk comes in, I got this, good day, I get to do this. And we start to plan because we can, we think we're, and we know, we have that opportunity, and we can grasp it.

We're not going to be dragging around that old crap. It's there to let go now. So if you're ready for that, I think you are.

You wouldn't be listening if you weren't. And if you know of somebody who you know is blaming other things, blaming everything, blaming themselves, then share this with them, please. Because on this deeper dive to come, the longer podcast, the hashtag podcast, I think it's very simple, by the way, and it's not traumatic.

Don't worry about that. We're not going to delve into the trauma and all that rubbish, because we're going to let it go and let it go. You don't have to dive into it, let your unconscious mind learn.

Just let go of all the things we're dragging around with us that we've been blaming, the people, the things, the trauma, maybe our parents. But please share that with someone you think might be secretly, sometimes they're secretly keeping it inside. But we know, we know by watching their non-verbals, their body language, as it were, the tone of voice, when something, oh, you can just see that little trigger, or maybe they're, you know, they're putting off things.

And behind that is generally that thing that we're holding on to that we don't need to. And blame is a, is a crazy thing. Sometimes it makes us feel bad, doesn't it, in the short term.

But hey, I would rather be encouraging myself, celebrating myself, of what's possible and the things I am doing and I'm going to do. So if that enthused you, like it's enthusing me, I'll see you on the longer podcast, and we're going to have fun letting go and creating the life we deserve. Okay, I'll see you then.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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Empathy - A Way That Works Without The Pain In the FMQ527 I said something that probably made you blink.

Empathy sucks.

And I meant it.

Not because caring is wrong. Not because helping people is wrong. Not because being sensitive is wrong.

But because absorbing other people's pain is not helping them — and it's definitely not helping you.

In this deeper dive, I show you:

• Why emotional dumping drains you
• Why empathy often becomes a hiding strategy
• The crucial difference between empathy and compassion
• How to stay grounded when people offload on you
• And how to become truly empathetic… with yourself

Because here's the truth:

If you feel everyone else's pain, you'll drown.

If you stay grounded and compassionate, you can actually help.

And the real work? It starts with self-empathy.

What We Explore 1️⃣ Why Empathy Can Be Harmful * Emotional dumping and energy drain * Why taking on others' pain doesn't serve them * How empathy can become a badge of honour * How it can also become unconscious avoidance of your own emotions

2️⃣ The Shift: Empathy ➜ Compassion Empathy = I feel your pain.

Compassion = I recognise your pain — and I can support you without absorbing it.

Compassion allows you to:

• Stay grounded
• Sustain your energy
• Think clearly
• Offer real support
• Stay emotionally stable

It's the difference between drowning with someone… or throwing them a rope.

3️⃣ Process One – Sitting With Your Emotion Instead of pushing emotions away:

• Sit with the feeling
• Acknowledge it

• Ask:

  • What are you trying to do for me?
  • What are you protecting me from?
  • What are you trying to teach me?

Every emotion has a positive intention.

When you learn the lesson — the emotion doesn't need to shout anymore.

4️⃣ Process Two – Compassion Without Merging (Visualisation) I guide you through:

• Grounding yourself
• Breathing deliberately
• Creating a subtle protective boundary
• Supporting someone without absorbing their pain

You remain:

• Present
• Steady
• Caring
• Strong

And when you walk away? You're still yourself.

5️⃣ Process Three – Deep Self-Empathy Installation This is the powerful one.

You:

• Place the emotion in front of you
• Speak to it with curiosity
• Thank it
• Discover its intention
• Ask what it needs
• Create a better strategy for that intention
• Future pace the change

You keep the intention. You release the pain.

That's self-empathy.

The Core Takeaway Before you help anyone else…

Check in with yourself.

Am I grounded? Am I breathing? Am I compassionate? Or am I merging and hiding?

One emotion. One learning. Then it can let go.

That's how you help yourself. That's how you genuinely help others.

And that's how empathy finally works.

Key Quotes From This Episode "Empathy absorbs. Compassion supports."

"Every emotion has a positive intention."

"Learn the lesson — and the emotion doesn't need to stay."

"Help yourself first. Then you're truly available to others."

If This Resonated… Subscribe so you don't miss the next FMQ seed and deeper dive.

Share this with someone who:

• Is emotionally drained
• Always takes on other people's pain
• Or thinks empathy is the only way to care

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/476-empathy-a-way-that-works-without-the-pain

and don't forget the video https://youtu.be/8iAcW58QreE

Let's move from drowning together… to lifting each other properly.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

#476 empathy - a way that works without the pain

So, you're back for the longer, deeper dive. And following on from the previous FMQ, it's all about empathy. Empathy and to be empathetic without feeling the pain.

Because if you remember from that FMQ, I said empathy sucks. I did. You did listen, didn't you? You did listen.

Empathy sucks. And it does. Everyone pushes empathy as being the biggest thing since sliced bread and empathy.

Because, you know, it what it is. There's such a better way to help people. And more importantly, help yourself.

Being empathetic with yourself. That's where it should start. Number one.

With number one. You see, let me just re-explain something. Oh, by the way, just jumping in before I do that.

If you didn't know, I do this also on video at YouTube. They're a bit bonky, I know. Got two cameras.

There we go. And a bit of light in the background. And apart from that, that's as professional as we get.

But if you wanted to see me doing this, you can. But anyway, let's get back to the real stuff. When I said empathy sucks.

Think about this. I talked about emotional dumping. That's what people do when they think, oh, I want to be so vulnerable.

I'm going to dump on somebody. They just dump everything out they've got. And it's embarrassing.

And because you want to be empathetic, you let them dump on you. You take on their pain. And they walk away going, oh, I feel so much lighter, so much lighter.

And you're going, oh, I got to think about things. I worry about people do this. And you see, that's totally inappropriate.

Totally inappropriate. It's just too much. You got to get out of that.

You really do. You see, I know a couple examples of when people just absorb pain. My mother was one.

People used to come round, offload everything. And she would worry, have sleepless nights, thinking about them, what she could do. And she couldn't do anything about it.

But it affected her. There's a great, she's dead now, unfortunately. She's left this planet.

But Victoria, is it? Virginia Satir was a great family therapist. And she had in her mind a belief that if I can't feel the pain, the pain of the people I'm working with, and really feel it as deeply as them, then I can't help. And she felt that pain so much, whether it was linked to the illnesses she got before she died, because she did, she suffered.

And she was doing it for a wonderful reason. So was mum. But I think there's a better way.

And you see, I think some ways, people who just do that dump on you, and you become the empath. Well, it's easier for them to do that than listening to themselves. It's like a shield, isn't it? A protective shield.

I'm going to just put it all out there. Because in some ways, I can walk away and leave it where I put it with somebody else. That's not right, is it? Not right.

And I think we have these things where we have to repress, suppress. That's no good either, by the way. And I think having empathy is in some ways, unconscious hiding.

What do you mean, Cloughie? What do you mean? I'll tell you what I mean. There's a song there somewhere. I'll tell you what I want.

Anyway, but it's like, if I can throw all my stuff to somebody else, means I don't have to deal with it myself. So we're hiding, we're giving ourselves safety by hiding away from the emotions that we feel. The emotions that are present.

And it's up to us. We have responsibility to ourselves to deal with that ourselves. Because we're the only bugger who can.

Everyone can talk. Yes, you can go to a therapist, you know, one to one, you know, one to one, go to a great hypnotist, an NLP practitioner, timeline practitioner, they will really help. But at the end of the day, you have to do it.

You have to come up, have the will to do whatever it takes and do the work. They're working with you. They're not working on you.

That's what a lot of people think. I do hypnosis on that person. I want NLP done on me.

No, they work with you. You have to put the effort in. They're just a guide.

They don't have great processes. And you see, being that empathetic, it hurts, doesn't it? It hurts taking on other people's pain. We've got enough of it our own sometimes.

We don't need it. So what are we going to do? What are we going to do? Well, I want to shift it. Shift it in a way that taking away the belief about how good being an empathetic or empathy person is, and take away that belief.

I'm empathetic and that's who I am. Because we think that's a little badge of honour sometimes. Two, I'm responsible for my state first.

And I'll show you how to do that in a couple of processes, two or three processes I want to go through. But I'm responsible for my emotional state first. Does that make sense? A little bit like the metaphor everyone uses from an aeroplane, put your own air supply on first before you help other people.

You have to be okay yourself. You see, if you're an empathetic, you're getting drained. It's bringing you down.

And that's so negative. It creates a heaviness in your mental ability, your emotional ability and affects your physical abilities. And that's not dealing with things about yourself first, is it now? And if you try to suppress that, what happens? Fights back, doesn't it? The ripples get stronger.

And we really do have to, I think sometimes it's like this thing where it deflects. Well, if I'm listening to everyone else, I don't need to listen to myself. And you see, your own emotions are not your enemies.

They're not. They're there to help you. They're just signals.

Signals to say, I've got something for you to learn. Let's change. And if you avoid that through kindness to other people, you're still avoiding, still avoiding us.

Avoiding us, that's a word, isn't it? But you're still avoiding yourself, dealing with yourself. And that's what I'm putting this all down to. There's a better way than being or having empathy for people, I believe.

But also it's more about, I'm here for you. No other bugger, just you. Let's help ourselves, deal with ourselves.

And then we can be compassionate and help other people. And that's where I want to go, to compassion. Let's compare the two.

Let's compare empathy to compassion. Empathy, I feel your pain. I feel your pain.

Do you really want to feel other people's pain to help them? Or do you want to recognise their pain? And that's where compassion comes in. I recognise you are in pain. You're hurting.

I mean, when I'm working with a clinically depressed person, do I have to feel clinically depressed to help? Because if I do, I won't be able to help them. I've got to be able to recognise the pain they're in, and then come up with a process to help them and guide them out of that. Empathy absorbs their pain.

You absorb it into your own body. You can't help but try on. What's the point of that? I mean, is that supporting them? Just knowing their pain? Feeling their pain? No, but compassion is supporting them.

Supporting them in a way to help get rid of it. Change. What else does empathy do? Well, it drains you of energy, drains you completely.

Whereas if you're compassionate, your energy is sustained. You're able to use all your energy to help people and yourself. Empathy is reactive.

Oh, there we are. I'll do that. But when you're compassionate, you are grounded, grounded, and therefore you're able to use all the skills you've got to see things, to reframe things, to help people, support people.

As we said, hopefully that makes a difference to you. Because my answer is, what would you rather do? Would you rather feel pain, absorb the pain, get drained of energy, be reactive? Or would you rather be able to recognise people's pain and therefore support them? And when you're supporting them, come from a sustained energy level that you have. And by that way, you remain grounded.

Which would you rather have? I think it's a no-bloody brainer, which is why empathy sucks. I'm never going to go away from that, by the way, with one exception. I'll tell you that now, where empathy doesn't suck.

If you're in and around somebody who is having the most wonderful time, feels joy, love, everything, they're really enjoying themselves. That's when you can be empathetic. Feel the joy.

Because you can learn from that. You can learn from the good feelings. I love this feeling.

How can I generate it in myself? It doesn't drain. But that doesn't normally happen. People don't come and jump around because they're too busy enjoying themselves.

So try to find that, match them. If you see that, that's what I do. So what's the first process I want to talk about? Because I think there is three.

But the first process is, and it is so simple. And it's all about dealing with yourself. Forget other people at the moment.

Because as I said before, I think empathy is deflecting. It's masking. It's a shield.

But those emotions inside you, the negative emotions inside you, are there for a reason. They have a positive intention. So what do you do? We've done it a few times before.

We just want to sit with that feeling. Sit with it and acknowledge it. That's it.

Just sit in the feeling. You're not going to do anything. You're not going to try to push it away.

You're not going to try to change it. There are processes where we change the modalities and some modalities of the pain that you're in, or the emotional pain, or the emotion itself. Move it around in your body, change its colour, change its weight, shape.

But we're not doing that. This is just sitting and asking questions. So once you are sitting in the middle of that emotion, sometimes if you sit there just for a minute or two, it will disappear.

Because it's been recognised. Because sometimes emotions just want to be recognised, acknowledged. Because in some way you'll get the learnings from it unconsciously.

But you can ask, what are you, this emotion in me, trying to do for me? What are you trying to protect me from? It's when you get that intuitive, you go, ah, I get it. But you also realise there's this clash, there's a direct conflict, because what your emotion is trying to protect you from is creating the same feeling. You know, sometimes there's an emotion trying to stop you from feeling fear by giving you fear.

That's the whole thing. But if you were calm and collected, you'd be okay. So what are you trying to teach me? That's another one.

What are you trying to teach me? And just sit. And the thing is, you have to sit with that, acknowledge it and just listen with all your senses. Because sometimes things don't always come out in words, they're always audible.

They can come through as maybe a visualisation, an aha moment. Maybe there's a word on the tip of your tongue, or a memory that suddenly comes back. I've had a couple of these and suddenly, oh, that was years ago, man.

I say to myself, that was years ago. That's gone. It existed back then, but no longer now.

So I don't need that. You've just been, you know, you've been here, still trying to do the same thing. And it's no longer necessary.

Take a chill pill, take a rest. And sometimes that's enough, that acknowledgement. It's okay.

You could say, well, you know, if I listened to this with all my senses, instead of pushing it away, what would happen? What would happen just sitting here acknowledging it? Sometimes just thanking the part is enough. So sit in that feeling. Thank you.

Thank you for doing what you do, because it's doing it relentlessly. It is using loads of energy, by the way, trying to make you aware. And if you let go of that negative energy, you've got a void to fill with positive energy.

Wonderful things. So listen and thank it. Thank you for being so persistent.

Give me the learnings and then we'll just let it go. And when you say that, thank you. What's the learnings? Just notice what shifts.

Sometimes it's a feeling of lightness. Sometimes it's just, I don't know what, I feel different. And sometimes you don't even notice a difference.

But, there is a but, when you look back over the week that's just gone after doing the work, just sitting there, you go, oh, I'm no longer doing that thing that I used to do. No, you're no longer feeling anxious about that thing. I'm feeling more confident now because I'm doing things differently.

You've got a new norm. And that's what it's all about. Because you've got to remember, every negative emotion, in fact, every emotion, not negative, has a positive intention.

And when we learn that positive intention, we can find better ways if they're negative. This isn't working. How can we find a better way and keep the intention? Most people try to put, when you push and suppress, you're pushing away an intention, which is to protect you and save you, not save you, but yeah, maybe save you, protect you in different ways.

And when you work with it, you begin to access different things, different ways. Yeah. Does that make sense? That make sense? So, that's one, just sitting.

Here's what I'd like to do a little visualisation. I can say visualisation, but not just that. I want to do a little visualisation with you.

And visualisations can be open eyes. We all daydream with our eyes open. Or sometimes it's better to close your eyes because you just avoid all the distractions out there.

And visualisation, by the way, doesn't have to be in 20-20 vision, seeing everything in perfect contrast. No, it could be just an awareness that things are out there. And anything in between, from awareness to perfect 20-20 vision, is just right for you.

Some days it's clearer than others. Some people say, oh, but I can't visualise. And yes, you bloody do.

Sometimes you find it difficult when you're asked to visualise, but then you're wandering around and you've got all these pictures in your mind. That's visualisation. You know, when you think about memories, it's a visualisation because it's not happening.

It's gone. But now you're recalling it in visual, auditory, all those terms. I just want you to imagine this.

So if you want to close your eyes for a moment, just make sure that no one needs your attention. You've got a safe space just to sit, maybe lay down if you're at home, but just stand anywhere you like. But just notice for a moment, visualise this.

Imagine you're with somebody and they're offloading on you. They're being supersonically vulnerable. But instead of being that old empathetic, I want you to visualise it in a different way.

So there they are, they're offloading. And just imagine this. Imagine grounding yourself in the moment.

Just be in your body, grounded to the floor. Maybe you could imagine there's like roots growing into the little old planet Earth. But you're grounded.

You're in the moment. And you know it. And as they're offloading, just notice your breathing.

Make it gentle. Maybe just make the out-breath a little bit longer than the in-breath. Just notice the breath because that's when we become calm.

We need to realise and notice now when you're in this this way, being grounded, noticing your breathing, present, being in the moment, how you can be caring and you can be offering compassion without merging. Staying true to yourself. In fact, having in some ways like a little shield around.

You've created a little shield around yourself where you can offer the compassion, offer the support. You're grounded. Can you see now? Notice the difference and how it feels to support somebody without drowning.

It's a weird thing, isn't it? You know, there's no transference, is there? Because this is now compassion in action. And you, by offering this compassion in this grounded way, this present way, being present, is so much supportive. You'll be able to see how you can support them so much better.

It'll be like having a meta view, looking down and going, ah, have you tried this, this and this? You'll support them by offering them alternatives, giving them sort of advice, not directions, but maybe consider, have you considered this? If it was me in my past, this is what I did. That's a great way to give advice because you're coming from personal experience and that really works. So just imagine now, you're with that person, notice how they change when you're grounded, you're breathing, you're caring without taking, you're offering in this grounded way.

Notice how different you are when you part and you're back in your own world, doing your thing. Notice how different the world seems now. It does, doesn't it? And that is just a simple visualisation just to show you how you can be different now, be compassionate, love compassion.

Makes so much difference to me.

Now, here's a longer one, slightly longer, takes a bit more time. That's because it's longer. That was easy, wasn't it? A little visualisation, just bring it to mind.

But this is why I want you to take some time out for yourself, maybe like five odd minutes. So I do want you to find a place where you'll be undisturbed. You don't have to close your eyes on this one, but you can, but certainly be undisturbed, because I just want you to really get in touch at the moment with any emotions that are going through you.

Because this is about being empathetic to yourself. And this is the only bit of empathy that, well, other than finding people's joy in joining in, the real empathy comes from within to yourself, because we're not ignoring ourselves now. Because the thing about feeling your own pain is because you can feel that pain, you can feel that hurt, you can feel that negative emotion anyway.

So you're not taking it on because it's existing in you. And it's there for a reason. And it's there for a reason.

Here's a wonderful process to gently understand. So we're going from that first process of acknowledgement and asking questions to really asking more deeper questions. And being with that emotion in a real comfortable way.

So find that safe place where you'll be undisturbed. Take a moment to breathe. Breathe in for maybe the count of four, hold it for a moment, and then let it out for the count of six or eight.

Just allow your mind to know that you're safe, because that type of breathing creates safety, calmness. And then I want you to notice an emotion, bring to mind an emotion that you've noticed. This is not a big one, not a 10 out of 10.

I just want a five, four out of 10 in intensity, just to give you this process. And I want you to, as you bring that emotion to mind, I want you to imagine a place just in front of you. Could be a couple of meters, six foot.

Just give yourself a little bit of space between. And in that space, just imagine that emotion is there. Oh, that's different, isn't it? That emotion is there.

And you, again, are grounded. You're breathing, and you notice you're breathing, and you're caring for yourself. You're going to offer compassion to this emotion of yours.

And there it is. Just notice it for a moment. If you see it, just notice what you see.

Sometimes we see it as a person, maybe. Maybe we see it as ourself. Sometimes we see it as a thing.

There's a color in front of us. You know, maybe a big circle, maybe whatever, whatever, whatever, because it's yours, not mine. And it's just there.

And I want you to then ask those same questions, but speaking to yourself as you would to a best friend. Thank you. Thank your best friend for being so persistent.

And then in your own words, just say, thank you. Thank you for being here, for doing what you're doing for me. And that doesn't feel good, or it didn't feel good.

But thank you for being here, because I know you're trying to do something positive, because every emotion has a positive intention. And I want you to become curious. Imagine being and feeling really curious in yourself, and begin to ask, what is your intention? And just notice what you get.

That's all you're doing. You're asking questions from curiosity, in a caring manner. Just want to know what you're trying to do for me.

Thank you for doing it. But I just need to understand and notice what you get. Maybe you could just ask, what are you trying to teach me through this intention, for being here? What do you want me to learn from this? Just listen with all your senses.

And the thing is, when you ask these type of questions, you may notice that that representation in front of you, that emotion changes. Maybe it gets smaller. Maybe it gets a little bit more, well, not quite so clear, because it's beginning to disappear.

Maybe you could ask, and here's the weird question. What can I do for you? Yeah, ask that emotion, the part of you that's running this emotion, what can I do for you? What do you need from me? Because sometimes, sometimes that part of you, or the negative emotion, just needs to be recognized, acknowledged. It's weird.

And sometimes it just says, I just want you to recognize me for who and what I am, or what I've been trying to do. And you say, awesome. I can acknowledge you now, with love.

I can give you permission to stand down, to be at ease, because you don't need to be here all the time. I love the fact that you're trying to keep me safe. But in fact, there's that direct conflict, that the way you're trying to keep me safe, feels unsafe in me.

And sometimes the part doesn't realize that, or the emotion doesn't realize that it is creating that conflict. And when it does, we ask, is there a better way to get that intention, using all the resources inside us, everything we've learned, all our experiences, all our wisdom, what would be a better way to keep me safe? Notice what you get. And notice now, maybe that old emotion in front of you, that part of you that runs that emotion, is now getting even more distant, moving away.

And as you do this, holding this space, and you maybe think out into the future, imagine your future now, going out into the future, and imagine having your life changed by what you're learning. By this emotion disappearing, and you finding better ways to protect yourself. Being grounded, breathing, pausing, finding positive beliefs that support you.

And all the wonderful emotions, positive emotions and behaviors, that support that too. How safe you could be, what would it be like in the future, just to feel safe and comfortable, without the all negative feeling. But to have that intention, keeping the intention.

And just be there. Just think that part. Thank you for doing all you've been doing.

That's all it is. We're learning. Because you see, when you learn from an emotion, the emotion no longer needs to be present.

Because it's done its job. It's done its job. You have the learning, so the emotion no longer needs to be present in your life.

And because you've been compassionate, and you've also been empathetic with yourself, you will be, if you want to help others, as well as yourself, you know how to do it now. Being compassionate, supportive, and grounded, and present. Just as you have been with yourself.

In fact, you could, you can open your eyes by the way now, because we're just talking. Notice how that feels though. Notice how you notice.

There's no transference now. It's compassion in action. Self-empathy.

That's what we've done. We've installed self-empathy. And that's all you need to do.

So just sort of think what we've done. We've acknowledged, sat down quietly, acknowledged emotions, ask a few questions, understand, and it disappears. Then we notice what it would be like, how we can install in ourselves a better way of being.

If people are offloading on us, we can become grounded. We breathe in a special way. We offer support, caring without taking.

And notice how compassion really feels without merging, taking on, how better it is, and how we can help people even more. And then that being with and asking questions really directly to that emotion, learning from it, noticing it disappearing, and then noticing what it'd be like in the future to be more supported in yourself. Empathy in ourselves.

So I want to close and conclude with this. What have we done? Well, the main part of this is before you help anybody else, check in with yourself first. And that's not even thinking about, well, yes, I want to deal with my own emotions, but if someone is vulnerable and they need your help, you need to check in with yourself first.

Let me be compassionate. Let me get this metaphorical shield of safety where I can be grounded and breathing and be there for them and support them. So ask, am I grounded or am I hiding? That's weird, isn't it? And then remember, one emotion, one learning.

And that's what you do. And when you learn from that emotion, you keep the intention because every emotion has a positive intention. You keep the intention and that allows you to be different in a better way.

So remember, I've got your back. All this will help you just to be you, because it's just taking away sometimes our natural inclination to be so empathetic and not thinking we're helping people. And we're actually not.

We're just putting it on ourselves. We're doing in some ways damage to ourselves. And I don't want that for you.

When we know there's such a better way to support others and support ourselves, because even if you didn't help anybody else, you've helped yourself every time you have a negative emotion. Help yourself first, then you're available to other people if they need it. If not, bugger off and enjoy yourself.

Have fun. And in doing that, just remember, please, I don't know, well, stop hiding from emotions. That's one of the things.

I want you to know that you can learn from every emotion. Help yourself first, because when you help that, you help the whole planet Earth and you have the most wonderful runway of your life. And guess what? If there's anything that I didn't explain properly, or if there's anything you go, yeah, it makes a lot of sense.

But what about this emotion? Email me feedback at personal development unplugged.com. And let's come up with something for you. But all these ways, and all the free hypnosis I give Paulcluffonline.com forward slash podcast, so many resources you've got here to help you. And part of these is like, there are things there which will help you in a similar style to these processes.

Acknowledging, sitting, being in different positions with with either different people or different emotions. They're all there for you. If you want a little bit of guidance, say, got this issue, Cloughie, can you show me which one would help me the best? And I'll do that for you.

So I hope you enjoyed that. There's a big cycle. Big deep breath.

That's what we want. Get grounded again. I'm going to see you on the next FMQ where we're going to sell another seed and then dive deeper into something just as interesting and just as significant, which make might be just the difference that makes a difference where you can just sit down for a change.

Maybe take some time out for a spell. Oh, and more fun than you can stand. Remember, please subscribe that you get all these in there.

Have a look at the video if you want. Not many people do, but you can see I am at true do my best, but really take these in because they do work. I know I'm a therapist and not your therapist, but all these are positives, not delving into stuff.

We're just learning from it. Have fun and go fly. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough.

It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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Empathy Sucks (Unless It's With Yourself) I said it.

Empathy sucks.

Now before you unsubscribe and send me a strongly worded email… hear me out.

In this episode I'm diving deep into something that most people believe is a virtue — feeling other people's pain. And yes, empathy can be beautiful. But if all you do is absorb the emotions of others, carry their struggles, and ignore your own… that's not kindness.

That's self-neglect.

Here's what I explore in this episode:

• Why absorbing other people's pain drains your emotional energy
• How empathy can become a way of avoiding your own feelings
• Why suppressed emotions don't disappear — they generalise
• The difference between empathy and compassion (and why it matters)
• How to process your own emotions so they stop running your life
• Simple processes to turn emotional overwhelm into emotional strength

I truly believe this:

If you deal with your stuff first, you help people better.

When you stop hiding from your own emotions and learn from them instead, something shifts. You become grounded. Present. Powerful. And far more able to support others without drowning in their experience.

This episode includes practical processes to:

• Work with difficult emotions
• Discover the positive intention behind them
• Stop suppressing and start learning
• Shift from emotional sponge to compassionate supporter

Because compassion sustains. Empathy without boundaries drains.

And if you're going to feel deeply… start by feeling for yourself.

This Episode Is For You If: * You feel emotionally drained by other people * You often absorb the moods of those around you * You struggle to process your own emotions * You consider yourself "an empath" but feel overwhelmed * You want stronger emotional resilience * You want to help others without losing yourself

A Simple Practice From This Episode Before helping someone else this week, ask yourself:

"Am I grounded… or am I hiding?"

Then sit with one emotion of your own.

Ask:

• What are you trying to teach me?
• What are you protecting me from?
• What can I learn from you?

Learn the lesson.

And watch what shifts.

Share The Love If this episode resonated with you:

• Subscribe
• Share it with someone who gives too much of themselves https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq527-empathy-sucks-unless-its-with-yourself
• Leave a review

Let's help more people become emotionally strong instead of emotionally overloaded.

And as always…

Have more fun than you can stand.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey, welcome to the five minute quickie, the seed that I sow for a longer podcast. And hopefully you'll find if you, if you have an issue, by the way, if you have an issue and they're not, not directly talked about in the episodes, I think you'll find that I've made, made them in a way that if you concentrate on your issue and set your intention to learn about your issue and how to let it go with every episode, you'll find that they're, they're ambiguously linked.

I'll say that again, ambiguously linked. Done it in a way that you can really use these for so many issues. In fact, you can have any issue you like as many as you like, but pick one and have a listen and you'll find that it will help.

That's my plan anyway. And today we've got another seed and it's about one of the banes of life. And what is it? Bloody empathy.

Empathy because it bloody sucks. Now, title is something different. You have to read the title, but you know, why do I say empathy sucks? I've said it for a long time is that if all you do is feel the pain of others, then, you know, it just adds to yours, doesn't it? It adds to your pain.

The people who just dump on you. And I don't mean it in a nasty way. They're not doing it consciously.

Well, maybe some people are, but most people do it unconsciously. They offload, don't they? They offload their pain. And because you're empathetic and you think it's a good thing to do, you feel their pain, you take their pain, you live with their pain and you add it to yours.

And that's why I think it sucks. But I also think being empathetic does have a sort of positive intention because it hides you away from your pain. Get it? Hides it away from your pain.

Now, you have to think about that for a little while. Because you can say, no, no, no, no, no. This is really good that I'm helping somebody.

But you're not concentrating on yourself. You're not setting an intention to deal with your stuff first, because if you deal with your stuff first, you will help people a lot better. You will.

And I think sometimes when you're in that way of being empathetic and you're hiding things from yourself, you're hiding that emotion from yourself and what it's trying to do for you. Because everything has an intention. Every emotion you have is here for a reason, negative or positive.

You're learning. Or you could and should learn from them. And when you learn from the negatives, they just disappear.

But here's the thing. I know it's a form of safety. But when you're not dealing with yourself first, then there's a little bit of a clash, isn't there? And we need to do that.

Because it's not really safety, is it? If you're not dealing with yourself, how safe are you? Well, you're not really. You're hiding again. I say hiding.

So what are we going to do? You see, one of the reasons we push negative emotions away is because they're painful. They're bloody painful. We push them away.

We suppress them. We repress them. And what happens? The more you push, those emotions push back.

And they don't only push back in the context that they were created in. They generalise, they generalise into different areas of your life. And what happens then is, well, unless you're prepared to learn from them and deal with them, they just get worse, bigger, stronger and in more areas of your life, which is a real shit.

And you can deal with it. You really can. Now you've got, as I said, loads of other episodes, but this particular longer episode coming next is to deal with this thing called empathy, but dealing with it in the right way.

If you're going to be empathetic, be bloody empathetic to yourself. So what can we do about it? These emotions that you're ignoring, you're trying to hide, you're pushing away, you're suppressing, repressing more than we've said it all before. What can you do about it? Well, I've got a plan, a plan and maybe a couple of processes that I'm going to put into the longer episode, because that's what we need to do.

And the thing is, these processes, guess what they are? They are simple. And what does simple do? In simplicity, there is genius. Because it's easy to do.

It's easy to follow. Sometimes it's a little bit hard because it takes effort. That's the only only hardship.

You have to take effort. You have to set your intention. I'm going to do this.

I'm going to find the learnings because this part of me is making me feel this emotion that I'm trying to push away. But if I if I work with it and learn from it, it will disappear and I'll be a better person for it. So that's where we're going on the deeper, deeper, that's where we're going on the longer episode with a deeper dive.

And just in case you don't agree with me, and that's fine. It's just my opinion, my thoughts. If you don't agree with me that empathy sucks, that's just a belief.

And I think it's a limiting belief because I'll show you why when we deal with it. Because I think if you really want to help people, change your empathy into being compassionate. Compassion.

That's where you really get to help people. You can be there for them, support them. You don't have to feel the pain to know they're in pain.

But you can use all your compassion to support them. And that feels bloody good. Oh, there is one other thing before we go, where empathy doesn't suck.

Even though I said it does suck. There's one place where it doesn't suck. Because feeling other people's emotions can be when they're feeling joy, feeling happy, when they're celebrating, you go feel that celebration, you go feel the happiness, you go feel that joy, support them in that way.

Oh, we're being compassionate again, because we're meeting them with that wonderful feeling again. And we're just, well, that's what we're going to do. We're going to be there, we're going to be for them.

But more importantly, you have to be compassionate with yourself, you have to be more empathetic with yourself. And that's where we're going. Long way around.

But I think you'll enjoy it. Even though it seems a bit weird, come and play. Come and sit down for a change, maybe for a spell, all that magical stuff.

And let's just see where it goes. Because you might find it just really gels to set your intention when you come with me on the longer podcast. I want to learn from this.

What can I learn from this? And I guarantee you when you say that to yourself, with a pure, honest intention, you will learn something big. Come with me on the longer podcast, comes out next week. I have more fun than you can stand.

Okay, see you soon. Bye bye now, go fly. So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe.

It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people. And we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them. And this will help help the podcast, it will help you and it will help everyone that you know.

So if you just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you know. That's the only cost, pay it forward to everyone. And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet Earth of ours, and the people in it.

Let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay, okay, you can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough.

It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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HYPNOSIS Creating The Life You Haven't Lived - Yet I thought it would be nice to take the process from the longer podcast and remix it to a deeper and even more comfortable way to connect with your Unconscious mind and sow the seeds of what you dream of for you in the future.

So please enjoy with my compliments

And........

Let me know what you need now to ensure they happen bigger, better and quicker than you could imagine :o)

Get your unique link here: https://paulcloughonline.com/podcast

Oh! You will also find a further 65+ more complimentary deep hypnosis tracks and NLP processes

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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Creating The Life You Haven't Lived Yet In the last FMQ, I talked about the idea that there's a book inside you.

In this episode, I take that idea further.

Because here's what I truly believe…

You're already writing your life.

One page at a time. One day at a time.

The question is — are you writing it consciously?

In this episode I guide you through a creative visualisation process that helps you:

• Step out of "life just happening"
• Stop letting other people write your chapters
• Feel your future before it physically exists
• Align your unconscious mind with what you truly want
• Take one small, powerful step forward

This isn't about pretending the past didn't happen.

It's about deciding what happens next.

And you don't have to be 100% ready.

You just have to start.

What We Do Together In This Episode I guide you into a relaxed, curious state.

You sit at a desk.

There's a book in front of you called:

My Life, My Adventure.

The past chapters are written.

You acknowledge them.

You thank them.

And then…

You begin writing the next chapter.

Not perfectly. Not dramatically.

Just intentionally.

You float outside yourself. You see yourself writing. You feel support from the people who care about you. You see yourself through loving eyes.

And then you ask one powerful question:

What small step can I take now?

Because the magic isn't in dreaming.

It's in deciding.

What I Want You To Take From This * You are not stuck. * You are not finished. * You are not defined by previous chapters. * Responsibility is not blame — it's power. * Your future starts now.

And remember…

Even if you do nothing differently today — you're still writing a page.

So why not write it on purpose?

If This Resonates Subscribe.

Share this with someone who needs it.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/475-creating-the-life-you-havent-lived-yet

And take one small step.

Have more fun than you can stand.

Wallow in pleasure.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey, so welcome back. It's Longer Dive, creating the life you haven't, you haven't lived yet.

And there's a few things that surround what I'm going to be talking about. It's like my intention and a few observations I've made about the subject. And looking as if you were looking down on this subject, my thoughts were, this starts now.

It starts right now. And you don't have to be ready, by the way, you don't have to be ready. You just have to start now.

And what I want to tell you is, you know, this is your choice. Of course, it's your choice. But you get the right to choose.

And the thing is, I believe in you. I believe in you. I want to support you in this.

Yeah, bit hammy, isn't it? But that's what I'm going to do. That's why I'm here. How do I want you to feel through all of this? Well, that feeling is, I want is, I can do this.

I can do this. And why is it so important? Even though you don't know what I'm going to talk about, why is it so important? Because it's our responsibility, yours and mine. No one else's.

No one gets involved in this. It's our responsibility to create this life we haven't yet lived yet. And that's what we're going to do.

You see, I talked on the last FMQ about everyone's got a book inside them. But not everyone has to write it, not write it physically out there. You can do, you can do.

Awesome. If you feel like you've got a book, but this is like taking that metaphor of the book of your life. And I've got a lovely process that I want to, I've adapted, that I was going to help you actually get your unconscious mind to begin to align with your conscious mind and write the chapters of what's yet to happen.

So you're an author. You are an author already. In fact, you write a page a day, at least.

You write a page a day because you create the life you're going to live today, right now. You may not know it consciously, but that's what you do. And you decide your day.

Again, is it conscious? Sometimes. Unconscious? Absolutely. Put the two together.

It can create mayhem. It can create wonders. But when we set our intention of how we want to be, and they're aligned, conscious and unconscious, we can now start writing those paragraphs, those chapters and form a wonderful dedication.

Because we can dedicate this and our life to the people who's come to us in the past, but we've still got mentors to come and experiences to come in the future. And I think sometimes we get involved with other people sometimes too much. We try to write their chapters, their paragraphs.

And it's not our responsibility. Yes, we can be there to support, mentor, but ultimately it's up to them to take responsibility, write their own and create their own life. And then there's the other side of that.

Sometimes we let other buggers write our lives as if they're imposing what we should do. Oh, you could do this. You ought to do that.

Why don't you do this? It's such as, oh, that's the right thing to do. And they don't bloody know because they're not you. They haven't got your experiences.

They haven't got your learnings. They haven't got anything. They just know you from over there, but they don't know you in here, do they? Only one person knows you in here and that's you.

Anyway, having said all of that, what the fuck am I talking about? I'm sorry. Well, this is what I'm going to do. Just follow along with me.

If you could just take this time out, be open, be curious and follow along with me. Because on this metaphor that everyone has a book inside them, whether you actually physically write it or whether you just create it, it's just a story, but you are creating that story. You can look back over yesterday, that was part of your story.

You look back over a month ago, that was just a year ago, but you look into the future and decide how you want it to be. Because it's your choice, you can either live on the effect side of life, which is cause and effect, allow other people to cause you to be a certain way, or it's the weather, a financial situation, oh I can't do this because, because, because. All bloody reasons.

Good reasons? No, they're excuses, aren't they? Cause and effect. You're living in the effect side of life, but when you start to take responsibility, you are creating, you're choosing. You chose, if you did, to live at the effect side of life, you chose that unconsciously, consciously, you let it happen.

Now you can stop because you can do this. You can begin to write every paragraph, every chapter creatively. You see when you become at cause, you take responsibility, you become totally bloody empowered because it's you.

I've got this, happy day. So that's what we're going to do, we're going to take responsibility for this creation. And the best part about this process, the process I want to share with you, it doesn't matter if you're feeling a hundred percent, absolutely wonderful, or maybe you're not loving the world and you're struggling, or you're struggling just a little bit, or you're struggling big time, or even if you're in therapy.

Why? Because it works on your desires, your dreams, and giving your permission to create and have those dreams and desires. So it doesn't really matter what chapters have gone on before, it's now creating your future, how you want to be. So it doesn't matter whatever stage you are in your life right now, this is going to help, this is going to do something.

You are going to be the director of your book, well the author. So what I want you to do is whatever state of mind you're in at the moment, just suspend a little bit of doubt if you've got any, and for a few moments open up your curiosity. Give yourself a break, yeah just give yourself a break to say well if it did work, if I did follow Cloughie's little process, I wonder how good it could happen, I wonder what wonderful effects it will have, that's an awesome question.

And you see what we're going to do is this wonderful process based on an NLP process called, it's a visualization, maybe a bit hypnosis, a bit hypnotic, but it's called my autobiography, but I've changed it slightly, I've adapted it to be for not the life you've lived, but the life you want to live, yours, no one else's. So that's what we're going to do, and all you're going to do is put aside 10 minutes, that's all, just 10 minutes, well give or take, that's all it is. Have you got 10 minutes? Of course you bloody have, everyone's got bloody 10 minutes, especially with the chance of creating something really nice, really good, good for a change right now.

Now you may need a little notebook or a big one, I don't care, a piece of paper, a pen, because sometimes we get instant ahas, instant insights, that's it, I've got it. Write the bugger down, because you don't write it down, what happens, someone says, oh by the way, bugger it's gone, what was I thinking about, it's disappeared. So let's write the bugger down, you can go back to it, and that's what we're going to do.

And remember curiosity, what does curiosity feel like? Because I want you to feel curious just before you do this process, because when you're curious and you've got this little thought in mind, I wonder what I can learn from this, you're going to learn big time. So this is what I want you to do, I just want you to find a comfortable place, a place where you will be undisturbed for around 10 minutes or so. So if you need to pause, come back to this when you've got somewhere nice and gentle, it could be on the outside, out in the fresh air, could be inside in a nice quiet place, and set that intention.

I wonder what I can learn from this right now. Okay, so get that feeling of curiosity, remember a time when you were so curious and you learnt something great, and if you were to feel that feeling right now, what would that be like? And as you feel that feeling, allow your eyes to close, because you've got this safe space where you're going to be undisturbed for 10 minutes or so. You're lying down or sitting down, it doesn't matter.

And breathe, take a wonderful in-breath, hold it just for a few seconds and let it out long and slow. That's right. And as you do that, you may even wonder how comfortable you could be.

What would it be like to be twice as comfortable as you are right now? What would that feel? Oh yeah. And if your muscles around your eyes were so soft, maybe the eyelids wouldn't want to work, but that softness in the muscles of your eyes can penetrate all your body, all the muscles, the sinews, everything. Just with every out-breath, you get more and more comfortable.

It's all you need to be. And as you do that, I want you to imagine you're sitting in a room. You're in a room, sitting at a desk.

And on that desk, there's a lovely book. Some of it has already been written in. And if you looked at the cover, it would say, My Life, My Adventure.

And you notice the pages have been written on. Your life that's gone by, it's already been written. The ups and the downs, the pleasures, maybe even trauma.

It doesn't matter. It's gone. It's gone and been done with.

You've learned from it. And as you sit there, you can see a wonderful pen and you can think now, I wonder, how would I like tomorrow? Maybe how would I like next month to be? Maybe how would I like the next six months to be? I wonder what I'm planning to do and enjoy over the next year. And that book, the unwritten pages, it's really thick because you've got so many pages to fill.

Now, as you begin to think and that you pick up that pen, begin to put it on the page, it might start writing. But as you just think, get curious of how you would like the days of the rest of your life to be, to experience, to enjoy, to create. I want you to imagine leaving your body and floating outside this room because on one wall, it's a clear wall, like a lovely plastic glass.

It's all the same. And you're on the other side now, looking at you, writing. Yeah, you, you're writing the rest of that book, how you want your life to be.

All the adventures, the things you want, the pleasures, like your hero's journey, following your path, your passions. You're over there writing them now. See the smile on your face as you're creating wonderful, wonderful characters that you meet along the way.

But then as you stand here, looking at you at that desk, you also notice beside you, people who you love. They're here too, looking at you over there. People you love.

And then the other side, there's people you respect. Maybe your mentors, maybe people you've read about. They're all here, all here with you.

You may not be able to see them all, but you can feel the essence and energy of their presence. And you can imagine, if you wanted to, looking through any of their eyes and seeing what they would see as they look at you, creating your future, looking through the eyes of love for you, sending you all their energy. So you can use it with inspiration, intuition, ahas, those moments of just wonder.

So you can create over there, beginning to create something that you can sometimes not even imagine possible, but now you can because you have all the support. Maybe you look through the eyes of someone who loves you and look through their eyes, through the eyes of love at you over there. Feel that love being sent to you over there, giving you the quality of pure love.

That's right, all this energy, all this wonderful love being, as it were, beamed to you, that you over there. And just from here, you might want to begin to think, if that you over there could have the life they want in all different areas of their life. Maybe all the different areas of context could be family, could be social, could be work, relationships, mental, physical, spiritual, connection, family.

They can dream of how they want it in each area. No editing, because each time they think about it, how their life would be, they can feel it. You can feel it now.

Feel how you would send the energy of how you want your relationships to be in the future, how you want your career to be in the future, your social life, your free time. How do you want to be physically, emotionally, having that connection? And feel it. Feel each one from here and send that feeling to that you over there.

And just let that happen over and over again. Your unconscious mind can do it even more. But your conscious mind can imagine now, become the dreamer.

And your unconscious mind can be the dream maker. That's right. If you're taking responsibility, you're empowered, and you can have it any way you want, because this is you, this is yours, your imagination of how you want the rest of your life to be.

And as you feel each one of those, begin to bring them all together. As you float back into that room, into that you, sitting in that chair, in that chair and at that desk. And you might not see the words being written because you're writing this day by day in real life.

I want you to take those feelings and magnify them. Magnify the feeling of how you want life to be. The ultimate vision of yourself, your best version.

When you're creating the life you were meant to do. The reason you're here on this little old planet Earth, making a difference. Socially, at work, career, selfless service, feeling of wonderful relationships.

What it's like to be mentally strong, emotionally so good, accessing all wonderful positive emotions and spreading true love. How it feels to be physically, just the way you want it. Having that connection.

Maybe there's a spiritual side of this too. And feel them all. So this you, writing your book, can have everything you dream of.

And as you do that, I want you to float all the way out of this room now, leave that you out there, at that desk, to continue writing and come back into you right now. And just for a moment, just wonder, what have I learned from this? What can I do right now? How can I begin to create the next paragraph, the next chapter of my life? How can I begin to create the life I dream of? What's a smaller step in each and every one of those wonderful contexts, areas of your life? So you know you're creating this. And allow that just to settle in and knowing, knowing, and be curious.

I wonder how rich can this be? Because it's going to be the rest of your life creating the adventure of your life, of enjoyment, of joy, of love, of wonderful adventures, meeting wonderful people, doing all wonderful things, and being the true you, you were meant to be. And with that, take a wonderful in-breath with me. Let it out nice and slow.

And open your eyes. There you go. Open your eyes.

Look around the room, give yourself, well, can you spell your surname backwards just to bring yourself back into the E-I-H-G-U-O-L-C. Cloughie, that's me, backwards. There you go.

It just breaks, whoops, breaksy. Breaks that little thing now. So now we can live that life.

And if you do have that paper and pen, pencil, and if there is anything, I love it in a little book because they carry it around with you because at any moment you could get that intuition, that aha moment. So you can record the things, the insights, the intuitions, the wonderful, ah, that's what I'm going to do. And then you can just let that book inside you to be written as you create it.

If there's anything you need, there are several thousand bloody episodes now of this tiny little podcast. So there's loads of tools, processes here, lots of insights. If you need a help to find something that matches your needs, let me know, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. That's my email address.

And I'll try to direct you to different areas. You've also got, because this, some of this is you're going to want to say, well, what type of state do I want to be in? How do I want to plan my future? How do I, this one particular goal that I'm really now so enthused about, how can I go about it? There are, I say, loads of previous episodes. There is a complimentary, I don't like the word free, but it is free, complimentary hypnosis track, 65, six of them at the moment.

I'm going to do more, all different areas of, of change work. So you can just sit down for change and maybe just sit down for a spell and allow them to be your tools for creating the life you want. But most importantly, just take responsibility to live it because it's your responsibility.

I've got mine. I've got to live mine. And part of it is doing this.

I love doing this. If there's anything you need, if you think of, there's an issue, well, you know, then I'm able to direct you to an episode or hypnosis track, but if it's something specific and I'm going to go, ah, got a bloody, I want to do that process now. Let me know.

And I'll do a longer podcast, maybe a short FMQ to sow the seeds. And then we can really dive in deeply just like this. Adapting processes, creating new ones, all the things that I enjoy.

So I'm being really selfish here. So I'm really want to just enjoy doing this type of work as long as I can. As long as I can, as long as the runway is, let me see what I can do.

Have fun. Please share this. I say every bloody time, probably don't, but if you would please share this too.

If you only shared this to a couple of people and they shared it to a couple of people, paying it forward would be awesome because so many people would get to get the change, but if not, okay, fine. But I'd like you to press that subscribe button because every time there's something comes up, you get the opportunity to at worst waste 10 or 20 minutes of your life that you'll never get back. But I don't think it'll ever be a waste.

There'll always be a little golden nugget or something that you can rely on in the future. And then there's all those other, other wonderful podcasts and books and YouTube videos that you can dive into to create too. And I'd love to know the type of things that you listen to, you look, you look at because it might inspire me and I want to learn too.

Anyway, that's it from me. Have more fun than you can stand and simply enjoy creating your life because you can, and it's your responsibility to do it. So there you are.

Go on. Off you go. Go fly.

Unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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Writing Your Future Everyone says, "There's a book inside you."

But what if that book isn't about writing your past… What if it's about writing your future?

In this Five Minute Quickie, Paul takes the metaphor of "the book inside you" and flips it into something powerful — a way to consciously create the next chapters of your life.

Your past chapters? Already written.

Some brilliant. Some messy. All done.

But the unwritten chapters? They're rich with possibility.

And here's the key — you are the author.

In this short episode, you'll begin to:

• Reframe your past through learning and growth
• See your future as unwritten potential
• Fire up your imagination intentionally
• Start designing the emotional tone of your next chapters
• Prepare for a deeper process in the upcoming longer episode

This isn't about fantasy. It's about engaging your unconscious mind through metaphor — the language it understands best — so it can begin spotting opportunities aligned with your dreams.

The only limit?

Your imagination. And you're in charge of that.

Listen now — and become the author of your life, not lived.

Share what you hear https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-526-writing-your-future

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

FMQ 526 Writing your future

Welcome my friend, welcome to another FMQ. A seed, a seed that I want to sow to generate, create a richness in your life. A life to come, because you've already lived a good chunk of your life, or a part of your life, or what, well you've lived anyway because you're listening here.

But we've got a runway, a runway that needs to be filled I guess, needs to be filled. And I heard the other day, and I forgot to make a note of the guy's name, but someone said, everyone, everyone has a book inside them. I thought, you see I get it when people say that, and people literally think, well I've got this book inside me, I've got to write it.

And some actually do write it. I've written a book, I'm not going to say it's a very good one, but it was all about me giving therapy to myself when I went through a dark period. And it was called It Doesn't Have to Be This Way, because that's the way I felt.

I didn't want it to be this way, and then I created processes to get me out of that. I know another guy, a friend of mine, who's written five books, five, five books, and none of them have ever been printed yet, because he's writing them for himself. He has books inside him that he wanted to write just for himself.

Maybe one day he'll let them out, who knows. But taking that aside, that literal view, everybody's got a book inside them, you know, not everyone wants to write a book, do they? No, not everyone. But I do believe in the metaphor now, because I've got a different take on that.

And in this different take, or with this different take, I'd like to use the metaphor to create something special. I'd like to be able to create a process using the metaphor, if you've got a book inside you, to create the life you dream of, to allow those dreams to become your reality. And that'd be good, because we all have dreams, don't we? And I'm here, well, I'm supporting your dreams.

That's one of my aims for this podcast, to support your dreams and support you in achieving those dreams. You know, get you through the naysayers, the people who throw, metaphorically, throw rocks at our dreams. Sometimes they try to just hold us back, because they don't want to let us go.

But we've all got dreams inside us. And I believe those dreams are on our runway, runway for the rest of our life, or they can be. And you see, if you think about the metaphor of having a book inside you, if you think about it, you've got a dedication where you would give thanks to the people in your life.

You've got chapters, chapters you've already written, the past, the life that you've lived, some shit ones. And there's some great ones, you know, there's some great ones. But there's a huge difference in those chapters.

But they've already been written, haven't they? Well, maybe not the complete dedication, because you know, there may be people you come and find along the way, like the hero's journey. You find mentors, friends, accomplices, people who support you, people who give you maybe a little bit of pushback, the challenges. But the past has already been written.

It's all been done. It's been dusted. You got the t-shirt, you've been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

And you can't you can, because the past is only your perception of the past, isn't it? And when you change, your perception changes. You see, when we can learn things from the past, it changes its role. The past changes role because it has new learnings for you.

You see, when we, you, I, grow by learning from our experiences, those past chapters, we take on the learnings, they go inside, our perception changes, our view of those events of the past change because we have the learnings and our beliefs change. We grow. And then, this is what I think, the unwritten part, the rest of your book, the future that hasn't happened yet and is going to come into the now, hasn't happened yet.

And it's rich in opportunities, isn't it? Wow, it's so rich because you can create those opportunities with new perceptions, new learnings, new dreams, goals, aims in mind, all of that. And the thing is, keeping that metaphor going, you are the author. You get to decide, no other fucker, as soon as we square in, but this came out, but no one else has the right to decide how you write your future, how you live your future.

And that's where we're going to go on the longer podcast. We're going to dive in deeper because I know there's a process in this metaphor that we can find at least one, if not two processes, maybe more, that's going to allow you to follow the metaphor through, but give your unconscious mind, because it follows metaphors and imaginations so much better than you telling it, to create your dreams. So for you to write your dreams, to feel them and then have them come into fruition, wouldn't that be brilliant? So what I'm going to ask you to do, a couple of things.

I want to get your imagination fired up. So I want you to begin to think, if this was a book, how would you like the final chapters to be? I'm going to say finally, you can have as many as you like, and you can make them as rich and imaginative as you want, because it's yours. And as you do that, you'll get a feeling.

So I just want you to think about that for the moment. Just think of the things you'd like to write about, what those chapters may be, if you had that book. And that's what I just want you to think about for the moment.

So when we get into that longer, deeper dive, I can get you to hook into and re-remember thoughts you've had from now until then. I'll also get you to think of even richer ones in the longer podcast. Think again.

That's my aim. So we can take this metaphor and allow your unconscious mind to start creating, looking for opportunities to allow those dreams, those goals in mind, those aims to come to fruition. And maybe your imagination along the way will make them bigger and brighter, because you can.

Because with each successful step in the now, as it comes along, you'll be able to think, well, if I could do this, what else is available to me? And the only limit, is there a limit Cloughie? You're saying there's a limit? Yeah, there is a limit. The limit is only your imagination and you're in charge of that. No other bugger.

So allow your imagination to run wild for what you want, what will make you happy, what will make you feel so good, what will give you joy, what will bring love or any other emotion you want to have. Okay? Because when we get those emotions, everything else will just be right. If you would, just pass this on, pay it forward, so other people can come along into the deeper dive and allow them to write their future.

If you do that, and press that subscribe button. So when the longer, deeper podcast comes along, bing, it flashes up for you. And then you can sit back, find a space, because there'll be, if there's a process, it's probably going to be close your eyes a little bit.

Maybe just have a pad and pen or a pencil just to make a few notes as well. So you can be fully prepared to create what you want. Yeah.

Okay. You go fly my friend. I'll see you on the deeper dive.

So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe. It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people. And we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them.

And this will help help the podcast, it will help you and it will help everyone that you know. So if you can just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you know. That's the only cost, pay it forward to everyone.

And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet earth of ours and the people in it. But let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay.

Okay. You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough.

It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

Vulnerability Starts Here – Inside Everyone's talking about vulnerability… But most of it starts in the wrong place.

In this episode of Personal Development Unplugged, I slow it right down and take the pressure off. Because real vulnerability isn't about oversharing, trauma-dumping, or spilling your guts to the nearest person who'll listen.

It starts inside.

This episode is about learning how to be honest with yourself first — safely, simply, and in a way that actually creates change.

Inside this episode, I guide you through two powerful, practical steps you can use whether you're struggling right now, carrying something from the past, or just want better emotional resilience for whatever comes next.

No forcing. No reliving trauma. No pressure to "open up" before you're ready.

Just awareness, understanding, and control.

What you'll experience in this episode: * Why vulnerability is often misunderstood (and why oversharing isn't the answer) * How being honest with yourself changes everything * A simple internal process to acknowledge emotions without drowning in them * How to work with the part of you that's been "pushing it down" * A powerful visualisation to safely explore honesty with someone you respect * How to gain insight without needing anyone else present * Why vulnerability doesn't have to be uncomfortable, messy, or embarrassing * How small internal shifts create real-world confidence and connection

This episode includes guided internal processes and creative visualisation, designed to help your unconscious mind let go of what it no longer needs — gently, respectfully, and effectively.

If you've ever thought: "If only they knew how I really felt…" …this one's for you.

Listen. Experience. Then pay it forward.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/474-vulnerability-starts-here-inside

Key Takeaways * Vulnerability starts with honesty to yourself, not exposure to others * Acknowledging emotions is different from accepting or reliving them * Internal safety comes before external sharing * You can gain insight and relief without involving anyone else * When you feel safe inside, vulnerability becomes natural, not forced

Your Call to Action If this episode resonated:

• Subscribe so you don't miss the deeper dives
• Share this episode with someone who might need it
• Email me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com if there's something you want help with

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

#474 Vulnerability starts here - Inside

So welcome. Vulnerability starts here. If you listen to FMQ 525, you'll have got into a little bit where we said, or I said, it seems to me like everyone, everyone and his bloody dog seems to go on about being so bloody vulnerable.

You know, just spill it all out there. As if it's that easy. Just spill it out.

Just all out to anybody, whoever's there, whoever's close enough to listen. Now, for most of us, it's not that easy. Because it's private, isn't it? Don't like to share these things.

And really, sometimes and most of the time, it's not usually appropriate because maybe the circumstance or the context is not appropriate, or the person you're sharing with. It's not an appropriate person to share it with. And most of all, you need to be, well, be vulnerable.

You can't be vulnerable to every dick, Tom or Harry or Tom, Dick and Harry, as we say in the UK. And I want to take the pressure off. Because I know you're not one of these people who just, you know, spill it all out.

Because that's inappropriate. You know, sometimes you had it when someone tells you too much too soon. You know, it's overwhelming.

And it's embarrassing, isn't it? You hide, you want to get away. And you don't want to be that person. And you're not that person.

So I want to take the pressure off. And I want to take the pressure off by sharing with you some very simple first steps. Simple first steps, we know what simplicity is.

Simplicity is genius. In simplicity, there's genius. And these steps, well, I think they just work.

Because they work in a very special way. They start at the core. And I believe it will allow you to be in control.

Be in control and truly understand your specific vulnerability, because everyone's bloody different, isn't it? But these two steps, processes, call them what you will. They allow for that. They allow the general, but they're specific, because they allow you to add to the process, your specific needs, your specific issue.

Because I've designed it so they're just for you. And I think that's something that, well, it's just going to work. Now, way back in that FMQ, I sort of hinted, or I might have been very direct.

Being vulnerable, I think, is about being honest. Honest with ourselves first. Fuck the rest.

It's about being honest with ourselves first. No excuses. No reasons why you can't understand, or don't want to understand, because we're going to find out.

You know, we've got that confirmation bias, we're going to put that to one side. No excuses, because when you become vulnerable to yourself, I believe things just get different. They become different.

They become easy to understand. And it's the understanding of our issues, from a distance, not in it. Can't read the label when you're in the jar, but we're just going to be honest.

And in that way, we don't need to ask for help at this moment, because when we suffer, when we suffer issues and don't ask for help, it's like pushing it down, doesn't it? Because being vulnerable to others, and it is helpful, by the way, it is helpful when we've done these two processes, by the way, these two steps. Being vulnerable to others and being honest, it's really fucking hard. But when you get this understanding, and you find the right person, man, it'll change.

And you don't always have to find the right person to be vulnerable to. Because when you go through these steps, being vulnerable can just be like being yourself. And what would that be like? Being yourself in amongst others, and with yourself.

That'd be awesome, wouldn't it? I know that feeling. I've struggled with that feeling. And it's a dream.

At that time, it was a dream to be so open, but in control of that openness. But what tends to happen, I think is, and if you're like me, you're going through an issue. And you're thinking, if only they knew how bad I feel, if only you over there knew how bad I feel, how isolated I feel, how alone this feeling makes me inside now, frightened, scared.

Sometimes you're scared to face it. Because it's uncomfortable. But follow me, come with me, because it doesn't have to be uncomfortable.

Because we don't have to know, we no longer then have to push it down. We don't. We're not going to push it down.

You see, and you may be thinking, you may be thinking to yourself, well, I'm listening to this old boy, this Cloughie, and I don't seem to have those issues. I'm fine. I don't think you're being honest.

Not that, not right now, maybe you're fine right now, but you've had issues in the past. Well, I bet you haven't shared it. Maybe you had that little voice, if only they knew.

I'm a little bit frightened. I'm a little bit isolated. I'm a little bit alone.

I feel frightened and scared. Push it down a little bit. Don't want to deal with it.

You've had them in the past, maybe. If you haven't, that's awesome. You've dealt with it.

But you may know somebody who's going through this. You might see the signs of them holding it down. Because we say, what we do is we just push it down.

And I think I said that saying, push it down, buttercup. Let's just get on with it. But no, we're going to get on with it, but go through these steps.

You see, the first thing I think we do when I say be honest, be honest with ourselves, we need to acknowledge for ourselves or to ourselves how we really feel, how we really feel, and just sit with it. That may be the one and only step you have to do. If it's small, if it's a small issue, and you don't like this, but I don't want to talk about it.

Just sit with that feeling, sit in the middle of that emotion. And sometimes just sitting with it, you'll begin to understand it. You're not accepting it, by the way.

I always say this, never accept it, just acknowledge it. Because it's happening, it's happening right now. So when you get that emotion, that feeling, sit in it.

How do you do that? Well, find where it is in your body, just close your eyes and just notice where it is in your body. And just put your attention on it. Just sit with it.

Maybe you can just understand what you can learn from it. I wonder what this feeling is doing for me. What is it trying to do for me? And sometimes we get that aha moment, or the understanding, or just sometimes, just literally becoming aware, sitting in that emotion will allow it to disappear because it's been acknowledged, because most of the time, as we say, we're pushing it down, pushing it away, doing everything we bloody can.

And the more you push things away, the more you push it down, the more it will get stronger and push it back and push it up. And so just by acknowledging it, you go, okay, you're here. Think your fear.

I think you're frightened, or whatever emotion it is. And just sit with it. And then just let it go.

It's like stepping away from those biases, stepping away from hiding, just sitting there. And you see, as an example, in some of the therapy that I, my sons do, and a lot of people do, by the way, it's called timeline therapy. See, if we can see, well, not necessarily see, but become aware, because you don't always see these things.

So don't worry if you can't, well, I can't see this feeling, I can't feel it, just notice it. It's an awareness. And if we can become aware of these emotions from different angles, we can learn.

And that's the whole basis of timeline therapy, being able to let your unconscious mind learn what it needs to learn from the very root cause of this issue. When it learns what it needs to learn, the emotion, and the limiting belief attached to that emotion, that event, that very first event, the root cause of all of this. Well, it just disappears because you have what you needed to learn.

And when you have those learnings, the emotion is no longer appropriate, it doesn't, it's not needed. The emotions are only there because you haven't learned from it. But that requires you going to see someone who is a practitioner of timeline therapy.

And if you can find one, and there are loads and loads of them out, you will get the respite you need. You'll be free, free to go and find some more issues. So I'd suggest that.

But there's a but and an and. If you go there, great, but what we're going to do, these two steps are going to help anyway. And even if you haven't got an issue, you can imagine an issue from the past and work in these two steps to understand the processes too.

Maybe you'll learn a little bit more about what happened in the past. And maybe you just let those little echoes go too. So here's what I want you to do.

And it's be about being honest, honest, first of all, step one, honest with ourselves. Now this is ever so easy. Because what I want you to do, it's going to mean closing your eyes, you don't have to close your eyes.

But if you close your eyes, it just makes it that little bit more easier. Because there's less distractions around. And you can focus, focus on the process, because that's what I want you to do.

Give yourself permission to spend a few minutes playing with this process, because we're going to have fun doing it. Serious fun. And then just let it go.

So if it's okay with you, remember, I'm a therapist, but not your therapist. But we're just going to learn. Here's what I want you to do.

Let's imagine in front of you there's another you. Well in fact it's you, but it's this issue, this thing that you've been pushing down, you don't want to, you know, you've been getting away from it, but now it's here. Just ask, just notice, become aware that you can have that issue in itself, be in front of you.

May have a shape, may have a colour, might even look like yourself, who knows? It'll be what it'll be and it is what it is. It might be that you just have an awareness of the essence and the energy of that issue in front of you. So it's anything from awareness to being aware of something else there and just sit with that for the moment.

This is like just becoming aware of your issue, acknowledging it. So you just acknowledge it. Maybe you want to thank it.

You go, what? Thank it? Yeah, because it's trying to do something for you, hasn't gone away, it's been persistent, it's been consistent, because it wants to help you. Now, what we're going to do is ask this issue a question in a moment. Why do we ask it a question? Because we want to either find the answer, because when we get the learnings, things disappear.

Or we're going to loosen the model of the world, loosen that issue just a little bit by giving it the acknowledgement that it needs, then it can start helping you in a different way. Especially when you ask this question or two questions. There's two questions I want you to ask of this issue.

Maybe think of it as a part of you that's running this issue. That's another way to look at it or be aware of it. There's a part of you that's running this issue.

Because that's how we talk sometimes, isn't it? There's this part of me that just keeps doing this. Well, have that part come out in front of you. If that's an easy way to become aware.

So you say, ask that part to come out in front of you and ask, what can I learn from you? What do you want me to know? The learnings of which and the knowings of which will allow these negative emotions, maybe the limiting belief and inappropriate behaviours to just disappear because I'll have what I need to learn, what I need to know. And sit with that for a moment. Just sit with it.

Notice the response you get. And it might be just like an understanding. Just an understanding.

Yeah, just do that. What do you want me to learn? What do I need to know? The knowing of which, the learning of which will allow you to disappear. Because I'll have what I need to learn and know.

There, that's, you know, you're asking lovely questions. Acknowledging that there is something to learn. You've thanked that part.

For looking after you, for keeping you safe. But it's time to stand down. And notice what you get.

Maybe you do get a voice, like a conversation. Maybe it's just an understanding, an awareness, an intuition. And if you don't get one now, I think you'll get an understanding when maybe you're just doing something completely different.

Maybe just going for a walk, maybe being quiet. You'll suddenly get, oh, now I understand. And you can just thank it and let it go.

Now there is another question, another question you can ask. Because sometimes, that part of you, the part of you that's running this little issue, been pushed down so long. It's been ignored, isn't it? You've been pushing it away.

But sometimes if we ask this other question, simple little question, but this time it's like roles reversed. You're saying, well, what can I do for you? What would you like me to do for you? What is it you need from me that will allow you to support me in a better way? Allow me to be safe in a more, in a comfortable way? What is it you need from me? What can I do from you? And once you say that, let my words, if need be, become your voice to that part of you. What can I do for you? And just listen.

Listen with all your senses. Maybe you'll see something in your mind's eye. Maybe you'll hear what it needs.

Maybe you'll feel intuitively, just understand what this part needs from you. When I do this, a lot of the times I just get, please acknowledge me. Just this thank you, but just acknowledge me for being here.

I've felt ignored for such a long time because this part of you could be so young. Just acknowledge me and that's it. Recognise me.

And sometimes when I do this, most of the time I do this and I get that, it's as if everything just disappears. And I feel so different. I feel resourceful.

I feel open. And then I can feel gratitude. Gratitude for that part of me and gratitude for the whole of me.

Yeah. So that's one, one simple step. Just sit there for a moment.

That's right. And you can obviously repeat this if you want to go and maybe, well, I've listened to this because I wanted to understand the process Paul, but I'm going to come back. I'll just bookmark that, that point in time of this episode and then come back to that.

And here's a second step though. Now, what I've said to you right at the very beginning is being vulnerable to others, being honest with others, how you feel, how, because you'd like to share it with somebody. You'd like someone, maybe just a little bit of advice, a little bit of help.

And that's, as I said to you, and I did swear, I said, it's fucking hard. You know, you might be embarrassed, you know, because people, you think people think of you in one way, you know, and you, I'm embarrassed that to admit that I'm feeling this particular way. Well, the second step is so wonderful, so easy and wonderful.

Is there somebody who you would like to share this with? And the beauty of this, this wonderful genius step is it doesn't have to be somebody, you know, but well, there may be someone who you respect in your, in your company, you know, you're the people that you know, friends that you just know would help. And that's cool. We could pick one of those or pick the one, but say there's somebody who you really respect that you haven't met.

You've maybe read an autobiography, read about them, maybe seen them on YouTube. Maybe you've seen them on videos or whatever. But there's somebody who you really respect.

Maybe they've gone through the type of issue that you're pushing down that you haven't told anybody about. And you can pick them because this is what we're going to do. And it's a lovely process.

It's called perceptual positions if you want to know what the NLP process is that I'm using. But here's what we're going to do. You see, you're looking through your own eyes and in front of you, invite that person.

Oh, let's just rewind. Let's just rewind. Let's just, we're going to close our eyes again.

You may want to move around a little bit on this one, or you can just do it in your mind's eye. If you're going to move around, what happens is you're going to imagine seeing that person in front of you, just over there, maybe a couple of yards away, a couple of meters away. And you're going to talk to them.

And then you're going to walk into that position, turn around and look back where you were as if you're looking back at yourself. And imagine yourself being there. And imagine as you step into that, that person's position, you become them for a moment and give and talk.

I'll take you through the whole process, but we're going to go backwards and forwards. So here's what we're going to do. So if you want to close your eyes, that's fine.

Or just imagine that person in front of you. Maybe it's a friend, or maybe it's someone you've never met, dead or alive, they're alive in front of you. That person you respect.

And you know about this issue, you know what you're frightened about, or you're scared. Or maybe you're feeling alone, and you don't know what to do. Whatever your issue is, with your internal voice, you can say out loud, but it might be a bit creepy to the people around you.

But with your internal voice, just speak to that person over there, imagine them over there and speak to them, tell them what your issue is, how you feel, what you want to know, what type of help you would like. Maybe it's just talking, maybe you want some, some instruction or help. But just be honest.

And this is that honest thing. No one's bloody looking, because it's in your mind, it's in your mind's eye, your imagination, your imagineering. But it just works.

So be honest, and say what you'd like to say. No one's listening. Only them.

And then imagine. Imagine floating out into them, looking back at you, or walk into that position that two meters away, two yards away, into that place where you saw them, imagine them, turn around and look back to where you were. Imagine seeing yourself.

And intuitively, allow the words from them to come back to you. What will they say? What are they saying? What are they sharing with you? Be them and share it with yourself over there. Let the words just flow.

Internally, just allow the words to flow. Because you've listened to the question from you over there. And now you're responding.

And as you respond, just notice how you over there changes maybe a little bit as they listen to the answer. And then in your mind's eye or physically walk back to the position where you were. Turn to face them, imagine them still there.

And again, now just allow what they said to come back again. It's like repeating it. So you get it twice.

So you get the meaning, the essence, the energy of their response. And as you intuitively understand that response, what would you like to ask again? What is your response to their response? And with an internal voice, say what you want to say. Maybe you want it a little bit more explicit, maybe more specific, more help.

Maybe it's giving you a little bit of, oh, that's food for thought. And say the words, internal voice, ask again, just to make sure. And then imagine floating out into that person again, or physically walk over to that spot, into that spot, look back at you and allow the responses to come back.

Allow their words to come to you. And then when that response is done, imagine floating back into you again, or walking back into that position. So you're you, we're always us.

Listen to that response again. Now you have something now you can work upon and you can come back here to this point in this episode to continue this dialogue. But before we do that, there's something else we're going to do.

So you are back in yourself. You are seeing, you're aware of that person in front of you. And now I want you to imagine floating way up out of your body and above the two of you.

Doesn't matter how high you float. You can float really high to get real distance, to really dissociate now from you and look down upon that conversation that you've just had. Maybe it'll just replay itself backwards and forwards.

But from here, in this wonderful meta view, this like directorship view, where you have no emotion connected to the issue anymore, because you're dissociated. And you get another understanding of what's happening. You get another learning, something that you can give back to yourself.

And imagine as you just intuitively get that, ah, from here, you can beam that answer, beam that information, beam that support that you've gleamed from up here, from down there, beam it back to you. In fact, you can beam it down to both. So they both learn.

And as you do that, just notice what you're learning. And then here's a trick, float down into the other person and then back into you. So we complete the full loop.

We complete everything. We are now back in ourselves. And in fact, if you want to just, with your hand, just touch your heart, just maybe give it a little rub, just your heart.

So you know you're back in your body. This is me. Yeah.

Now what I want you to do now is reflect, just reflect for a moment, maybe, and ideally, write down what you've learned. Because when you write it down, you get to see it, you let it, as if it were all that knowledge, channel into the pen, the pencil, onto that paper. And you've got it forever then.

Never disappear then, is it? It's a lovely reminder. Maybe you put it in your journal. And just reflect on the learnings.

And maybe with those learnings, you'll be able to create that first step, a small step. Doesn't have to be a big step. What is a smaller step now that you can begin to plan and schedule and do from the learnings that you've got? You know, what's the one step, the one smaller step that I could do now from these learnings? What a wonderful question.

And then maybe you want to talk to people about this, because you can. You can certainly share the episode. Oh, got in there, Cloughie.

Share it, pay it forward. Because this is what it's all about, isn't it? That's the only charge for these episodes, is I'd like you to pay it forward. Ideally, pay it forward to more than one person.

So we affect and infect more people with giving them the tools to change, the tools to let go of issues. And the thing is, as I said before, you may not have an issue at the moment. But if anything ever does happen, because they do occasionally, things come and just rock your world a little bit.

You could now remember, ah, what was that thing? Was it hashtag 474? I don't remember what the number is, it's going to be, but you know, vulnerability starts here. Oh, I remember. I'm going to do that process.

You never know, I might put this on to the other website where I have 66, I think now, hypnosis and NLP processes, all for you, all complimentary. No credit cards and all that rubbish. Now you just sign in, sign up, boom, get your link, and you're away and you can download them.

You can do whatever you like. I'll put the 60 or I think it's the 90 seconds of hypnosis at the end of this track, end of this episode. So you can get to this, but just think, how easy was that? Did we go into the emotions of relive everything that was going on? No, we didn't, we just acknowledged it.

Yeah, sat in it, didn't do anything with it, though, just acknowledged it. And they just tend to disappear. And these will always, if you want to go into one-to-one therapy, this will help anyway, because it gives you an insight in how you can share it with your therapist.

You'll have some underlying or underlying, you know, some knowledge anyway, some understanding. I hope you enjoyed that. I love, well, I hope you love the way I'm now changing the dynamics of personal development unplugged in the way that I'm trying to get more and more processes in here, not just waffle, not just talk.

There's so many people talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, and don't give you the real nuts and bolts, the real keys, the real processes, the real steps. And that's what I'm doing here. I want to take everything that I know and share it with as many people as I can.

And if you can say, pay it forward, and maybe they would then subscribe like you've subscribed, haven't you? If you could, if you haven't subscribed, just press the subscribe button wherever you listen to this bloody thing. So you're going to get them every week. You know, you get the FM cues, which is like the seed of the next longer episode.

So I'm doing it now. So we get an understanding where we're going. And then we can prepare for it in our mind just a little bit.

Oh, can I learn, set your intention, then you listen to the episode, we do the processes, and boom, you're going to change. I'm going to talk about I just made a note this morning about an episode I want to do talking about, you know, why we do this change and the ripples of change, what happens to them when we change one thing in our life? What happens? I'm not gonna tell you what happens, because that's for the other episode. But I've got wonderful things I want to talk to you about in my mind's eye, and in my little notebooks and in my whatever, all my notes, we're gonna do some great stuff.

So I just hope you'll come along with me. I hope you enjoyed it. If there's anything you want to want me to talk about, if there's any process that you'd like me to explain, if you know a process, but you don't understand, I'll do my best.

But if there's an issue that you're having ago, I'm still need a bit of help with this fluffy. Send me an email personal. No, what is it? It's called feedback, feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Do that.

And the only bugger here gets it won't go anywhere else. And you'll get a personal reply from me and probably a longer episode all to yourself that everyone else will get the benefit from. And obviously, there's no names.

Everything is anonymous, apart from me, because I'm Paul, Paul Clough. So enjoy. Have more fun than you can stand.

And yeah, go play and have fun.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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They Don't Know I'm Suffering We talk a lot about vulnerability these days — maybe too much, and often in the wrong way.

In this Five Minute Quickie, I challenge the idea that vulnerability means oversharing or spilling everything too soon. Because for most people who are suffering — anxiety, overwhelm, feeling broken, or just "not quite right" — the real issue is this:

People don't know what's going on inside.

And we're embarrassed to tell them.

This episode plants the seed for a deeper dive into:

• Why "suck it up" beliefs don't keep you safe
• How your unconscious mind is trying (and failing) to protect you
• A healthier, simpler way to understand vulnerability
• What freedom from inner suffering could feel like

This is for everyone — whether you're suffering a little, a lot, or not right now at all.

The deeper dive is coming next.

Please share this with others so we can all come together on the longer episode

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-525-they-dont-know-im-suffering

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey, welcome to the five minute quickie. Well, it's not five minutes, but it's a seed for a longer, deeper dive into something that I think is quite serious.

You see, I get confused. I am confused. Why am I confused? Because every man, every man, his dog, wife, family, relations, talk about vulnerability, bloody vulnerability.

It's over-talked. And to me, it starts, and the way they talk about it, it starts too far in. And those who follow that, and when I say follow that, I mean, they go overboard, don't they? And it's embarrassing.

They give out so much personal stuff. And it's intense. And it's probably too soon.

And it's just too much information. Too much. And it becomes embarrassing because what do you do? What do you do when you hear it? You know, for me, it's like, and I'm a therapist, not their therapist, but, and I could go into therapy mode, but I think, you know, this is not the, we're in the, maybe in a bar, pub.

This is just too much. Sometimes you've only just met the buggers and it's like, gosh, you see, this is what I think in reality, when we suffer issues, experiences, you know, they could be large, could be small. Doesn't really matter inside.

We would like other people to know that we are suffering because you can't see it. Can you? It's not as if you're limping or something like that. It's inside.

You're suffering inside, large or small. Could be just anxiety. Could be, could be something massive.

And they don't, don't know. And we just, we would like people to know, don't you? You do. I do.

I know I do. I feel, you know, I'd love to be able to speak to you, but no, no, no, no. You see what happens is I think it's embarrassing to say it.

It's embarrassing to let it out, you know, because we've got these things called like, suck it up, suck it up, buttercup. You know, you push it down, push it down, man up, woman up, get on with life. Just get on with it.

And then there's old limiting beliefs. Those old limiting beliefs that go, well, they'll think less of me. They won't understand me.

They just, you know, if I show weakness, that's a real bad thing. And it isn't by the way, it isn't. But here's the thing.

They are all excuses. They're excuses. And you're choosing to use those excuses.

And now in my notes, I thought to myself, fuck, that's hard, Cluffy. That's a hard one to take. But I have to take it myself because I do the same thing.

And when I look back and I can look at myself in like a meta position, I can say, yeah, he chose to do that because who else chose? Who else chose to say those things, do those things or not say those things and suck it up, push it down. We chose. Now I'm not saying necessarily we chose consciously.

I don't think we do. We just do it because they're like limiting beliefs. Those limiting beliefs are in there and they just, they just kick off, don't they? They get triggered.

So it's unconscious. So it's an unconscious choice, but your unconscious mind is your unconscious mind. It's choosing, but it's choosing for you for a wonderful reason.

Don't feel very good. Don't feel wonderful, but it's a wonderful reason trying to protect you. And it's given us all this bullshit beliefs.

I call it bullshit because we could call them limiting beliefs, but they're bullshit beliefs and all that self-talk, but it's trying to protect you for your own good, but it's not working, is it? Because you see, this is my thought. You have a thought. You have a thought, Cluffy? Yeah, I have a thought about what vulnerability really is or could be in my mind.

You see, I think it's more to do with honesty and that's not being straight with others or not straight with others. You know, it's about something else, which I'll go into in a minute. And that's where we're going to dive deeply into on that longer, deeper podcast of that episode.

You see, I've got a plan. I've also got a process that I think just might make the difference. And what do I mean by that? Well, first of all, let's go back a little bit, rewind.

Who is this episode for? The longer, deeper dive? Well, in my mind, it's bloody everyone. You see, it doesn't matter whether you're suffering a little, got a little bit of anxiety, got a little bit of this, a little bit of that, or you're suffering a lot. Or you're not suffering at the moment because there's always a time that you might, you see.

And I want to deep dive into those beliefs, those limiting beliefs, those suck it up beliefs and all that stuff, and how they're not keeping you safe. How, although it's a wonderful intention to keep you safe, the behaviours and the beliefs and all that BS stuff is now no longer appropriate. It's no longer working.

And how do you know it's not working? How do you know? Just have a little think. Have a little think that you know it's not working. And I'll tell you for why.

It's because it doesn't feel comfortable. It doesn't feel safe. And if it doesn't feel safe, it doesn't feel comfortable, then it's not working.

But we do want to feel safe, don't we? We want to be safe in the world. We want to be comfortable in the world. We want to let go of issues so we can really be, really be safe.

We don't want to hide behind these things and keep our issues. We want to let them go. And that's how in the longer, deeper dive, we want to, in effect, explain to your unconscious mind what it's trying to do is a wonderful thing.

However, it's no longer working. Let's find a better way. And you see, it's all about simpleness, simple ways.

We know in simplicity, there is genius. In simplicity, there is genius. In simplicity, there is genius.

Keeping everything in a nice, easy way so we can understand it consciously, and our unconscious mind can understand it even more better. And you see, we're going to use some lovely, simple steps that work to get you or your friend back from feeling broken. Because we do sometimes we feel broken, we can feel anxious, we can feel every bloody syndrome in the world.

We get depressed. We get, you know, don't want to leave the house. I don't want to meet people, social anxiety in every way, shape or form.

And they grow. If they don't get tapped, they can grow, they can get more intense. And even if they are intense, we can still work on this.

So that's who we, that's who it's for. And I want you to be the person who you really want to be, who you really are. You know, let's let this go and be that person.

And we can be vulnerable. But in a special way, we can be honest in a special way. I mean, just for a moment, just for a moment.

Just before I go, if you're suffering a little, if you're suffering a lot, even if you're not suffering, but you could imagine that if you were just for a moment, just for a moment, take a breath and imagine what it would feel like to be free, to be free of issues and to have the tools to deal with any issues that came knocking on your door. What would that feel like? Just feel it now for a moment. Imagine it, make it up, make it up to just get an idea, idea what it would feel like, because we're showing our unconscious mind, this is a great feeling.

And with this great feeling, I could probably do a lot more than I'm doing. And I can do it in a way that creates wonderful results. Then I get lucky, serendipity comes knocking on my door and all these opportunities keep coming.

And I start to be my real self, my real me. So that's where we're going. That's the seed.

So you know, come back to me, come back to the road. You can keep that feeling as long as you want, by the way. But that's the feeling I'm looking for to start off with, sowing the seed of what's possible.

So if you're in any way, if you're part of everyone, either with a small issue, with a big issue or no issue at all, but it doesn't matter. You never know. It could be a friend you're looking, listening for and looking for.

Just get to the next deeper dive and we'll have some fun. Because change can be fun, by the way. Serious fun, but it's fun nevertheless.

So come with me on that deeper dive, on the next deeper dive. Come and sit with me for a spell. We love that way.

Sit with me for a spell. Sit with me for a change. Come and listen for a change.

Because change could be easy. It can be comfortable. So let's do that.

Come to the longer podcast, the longer episode where we do the deep dives. Do subscribe, please. Press that subscribe button only because I want you to have that longer episode come straight into that device that you listen to, that you don't miss it.

It's always there. And if there's anything that you want to dive into, just send me an email. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. That's me and we'll get into it.

So until the next time, my friend, on that deeper dive and all the rest, have more fun than you can stand. And I'll see you, hear you. No, you'll hear me on the deeper dives.

Bye-bye now.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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Your Hypnosis Track to Bliss and Joy So following on from episode #473 Experiencing Joy and Bliss - A Creative Visualisation, I have remastered the visualisation process into a deep hypnosis track to engage your unconscious mind even more.

It's only around 20 minutes long so we can all find time to experience deep feelings of Bliss and Joy and use them to direct our unconscious mind to find more in the waking world. Yay!

If you've already signed into the complimentary 60+ hypnosis and NLP track,s then use the same link and it'll be at the top of the list.

If you haven't yet signed up (no credit card or personal details asked), go to https://paulcloughonline.com/podcast and get all that free personal development 'stuff'. And it's all downloadable, so you can use it anywhere and anytime.

Please share https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/473-1-your-hypnosis-track-to-bliss-and-joy

Enjoy

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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Experiencing Joy and Bliss - A Creative Visualisation What if joy and bliss weren't things you had to chase… What if they were already inside you, waiting to be remembered?

In this deeper episode of Personal Development Unplugged, Paul guides you through a powerful creative visualisation designed to help you experience joy, bliss, and deep personal pride – not just think about them.

This is not about forcing positivity or pretending everything is perfect. It's about sending a clear emotional signal to your unconscious mind: "This is how I want to feel."

Using imagination, memory, sensory awareness, and gentle NLP-style anchoring, you'll explore what joy truly feels like for you – and how that feeling can begin to influence your future choices, goals, and direction in life.

This episode works best when you can set aside around 20 minutes with no distractions. It's an internal experience – subtle, safe, and deeply personal.

In this episode, you'll: * Discover why feelings, not goals, are the real compass of personal development * Experience a guided creative visualisation for joy, bliss, and personal pride * Learn how imagination can bypass internal resistance and unlock change * Anchor empowering emotional states you can access whenever you choose * Begin building a "base camp" for future growth and deeper work * Explore how joy can become a signal your unconscious mind follows

This episode gently sets the foundation for upcoming deeper dives into joy, purpose, and removing what gets in the way of feeling truly alive.

Best enjoyed somewhere comfortable, safe, and uninterrupted with headphones

Your Key Takeaways * Your unconscious mind often knows more than your conscious plans * Joy and bliss are states, not rewards * Imagination is a valid and powerful route to emotional change * You can consciously anchor empowering feelings * Feeling good isn't selfish – it's ecological

Your Call to Action * Subscribe so you don't miss the upcoming deeper dives * Share this episode with someone who could use more joy in their life * https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/473-experiencing-joy-and-bliss-a-creative-visualisation * Explore Paul's hypnosis and visualization tracks at paulcloughonline.com/podcast * Send feedback or suggestions to feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by Will Marshall Music

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hi there, just before we dive into exploring bliss, joy, I just wanted to say this is like creative visualisation.

So you may, well maybe closing your eyes, it's certainly maybe better to do that so we can really get in touch with some intense feelings of joy and bliss and wonderful personal pride. So to that end, if you're doing things or have things that need your attention, it's probably best to listen to this at another time, put say 20 minutes aside, because that's all it's going to take. So where you can just be comfortable and listen, inside, outside, but nothing that needs your attention.

Okay, just want to say that before we start, because I want you to enjoy this experience. So intense and have a wonderful experience too. Okay, so here we go.

So as we move into a new year, and it doesn't really matter whether we're moving into a new year or not, I wanted to explore something first. Because I always think that we're not clever enough to know exactly what we want. You, me, we think we do.

We have this idea, this aim of the things we'd like to do, the things that maybe we think will give us the passion or follow our passion, our meaning, our purpose, and we give it a damn good go. But sometimes I think our unconscious mind knows more. And in fact, while we're focusing on where we think we're going, our unconscious mind can use our peripheral vision so much more to see opportunities that we don't see, that will actually give us more meaning in life, more passion.

And how do we direct that? Well, I think it's all about feelings. How do we want to feel? Now, as long as this feeling, and the behaviours that give us this feeling are good for us, either going to be healthy, going to be safe, good for other people. So we're not doing it, you know, one for us and not for you.

It's good for other people too. People around us, people we love, people we don't even know, but it's good for them. And it's good for little old planet Earth.

And if we get that right, and that feeling will give us all of that, then I think your unconscious mind will find even more benefits, as it were, more opportunities, things that we weren't aware of. It's like those aha moments, those sudden fits of intuition that you go, ah, oh yeah. Oh, this makes sense.

Oh, what a coincidence. Serendipity has hit me again. And that's how I think those happen.

So before we go on to deeper dives, I thought it'd be nice just to, to find out what joy is for you, for me, for you. It might be, and I have to say, there's a gap there because it's you. If I say what, what I think joy is for you, then that would be my joy.

This one, I get this wonderful feeling when I get joy, that I'm just alive in my body. I feel right, if right's the right term. I just feel good.

I feel I'm in the right place. I feel super competent in what I'm doing. And I'm enjoying what I'm doing in the flow, in the moment.

So what might it be for you? Because there's only me and you here. Now, sometimes you might not be able to come up with what you think it is. Because when you think about it, joy, and I've put joy and bliss together.

Joy, bliss. Sometimes we can't admit to the feeling. Because when we admit to what the feeling of joy and bliss is, we have to also admit that we haven't got it.

And I think that's okay. Because one thing about it is, it'll always, or can be, just a little bit better. So you can have the most wonderful joy and bliss, knowing that as you live your life in joy and bliss, we can just have it a little bit more intense.

Make it a little bit. So it's okay. And this is something we're just going to do in our mind, I guess.

So we can just imagineer it. And when we imagineer things, it doesn't really matter, does it? Because we're just thinking, making things up. And sometimes you'll remember, remember times of joy and bliss.

And if you do, awesome. And we can take that further. Or we can just imagine it.

Make it up. And I'm happy with making it up. Because when we make up how joy and bliss feels, it comes from us anyway.

So in some ways, we are getting through that barrier, that filter, and allowing it to come to our mind, just through the power of imagineering. Or we can do both at the same time. So we use our remembering skills and then spice it up.

Or we can spice up the feeling and suddenly allow a memory that may just go with it too. Either way and every way, it's okay. So if you're happy to come with me, just to examine, just to explore joy and bliss.

And who wouldn't want to do that? Just put some time aside. Because this feeling we're going to explore is like a direct message, encrypted, no one knows, message to your unconscious mind. That this is how I want to feel.

And I'm not going to suggest that you close your eyes now. I'm not going to suggest that. But you could.

If you want to close your eyes now, that's no problem. But I'm not going to suggest that. I'm not even going to suggest that you simply let them close all by themselves when they're ready to close now.

Or you could try to keep them open as long as you can before they close. You choose. It's your choice.

But as you sit and listen intensely, with a feeling of maybe just curiosity. What does curious and curiosity feel like? Can you remember a time when you were curious? When you were so interested? And with a sense of curiosity, maybe. Maybe you could recall a time of the past.

A time of the past that when you think about it now, it filled you with so much personal pride. So much personal pride. You felt the real you.

Recall a time in the past. Or imagine now what that would feel like. To feel an immense feeling of personal pride.

Because we mentioned two words together, pride and joy. You're my pride and joy. So when we're feeling so much personal pride, maybe that's the time when we feel joy, bliss.

Or maybe just imagine now what that would feel like. Where would you feel it? Would you feel it all over? Would you maybe just feel it in your heart? Maybe you could feel your heart beating beating with joy, bliss, pride. So much.

So intense. Maybe you can feel a warmth, a temperature. Some people feel it as a color.

Maybe you just feel it. Feel it so intensely. And as you do feel it, to feel that joy, the bliss, so much personal pride flowing through every cell of your body.

I wonder what color it does have. What would you imagine that color to be? When you have so much joy and bliss pumping around you. Your heart literally filled with joy and bliss.

Feel it. Feel it now. Now you can feel the temperature with that color.

Your whole body, the whole you radiating this joy, this bliss. Not just on the inside, you just know secretly you're radiating joy, bliss, intense personal pride. And as you feel all of that, I want you to wonder.

You may even say these words with me. I wonder what it would be like if this feeling was doubled. Yeah.

Imagine having this feeling now in everything you do. Would that be good? Hell yes, that would be good, wouldn't it? Imagine having it, this feeling, bliss, joy, intense personal pride in everything you do. When you're by yourself, with yourself, with your loved ones, with your friends, your colleagues, just being, filled with this feeling of joy, bliss, intense personal pride.

Here's a question for you. Feeling this wonderful feeling that's already doubled. Could you stand to double it again now? Double it and double it.

And use every part of you to remember this now. Remember it consciously, remember it unconsciously. I want your unconscious mind to remember this, to know when you feel this feeling.

This is pure safety, the feeling of healing, the feeling of living your passion, the feeling of, that's right, the feeling of that. Imagine having this feeling in everything you did and everything that you do. So when you look to the future, how enticing it will be, knowing that you will be bringing to the world this wonderful feeling of joy, bliss, intense personal pride.

And when you review, knowing how this joy, bliss, intense personal pride has created the most wonderful parts of the past. So just sit in this joy, bliss, personal pride, intense personal pride, just for a moment longer, so you can really remember this. Now I don't know if you want to take your little finger and your thumb and just gently squeeze them together to anchor this feeling.

Or you could just put a finger on the back of a knuckle and as you feel this feeling, you can begin to slide it gently up the knuckle towards your wrist. And as you do that, intensify this feeling. And then come back to that knuckle and then slide it up again and make that feeling even more intense.

So every time in the future, when you press that knuckle and slide your finger towards your wrist, you get this feeling even more intense. So you can use it as your intentional anchor. I don't know.

Everything is choice. And what would you do and be able to do, having this feeling and the most wonderful positive intentions to create the real you, the ultimate vision of you, following your purpose with passion, every mission that you take on, filled with joy, bliss and ultimate intense personal pride. What would that do? And then I'm not going to suggest, I'm not going to suggest you, if you did close your eyes, you can open them now.

And maybe if you didn't close them, you can open them even wider and just, well, just think about spelling your surname backwards or your telephone number backwards, or just looking around and smiling at the world, just to get back into our normal state, knowing that you can go and think about this joy, this bliss, this intense personal pride feeling. More often, because the more you think about it, the more you're telling your unconscious mind, this is the way to go, please. This is what I want to feel in all the things that we do.

And if you were to think about that in your goals, your aims, your directions in life, for all different areas of your life, all those different contexts, how would your life be when you look back at it and go, yeah, so you can look forward now. But the things you're doing today, the things you're doing tomorrow, the things you're doing next week, and imagine as you think about them being successful, you could just squeeze that little finger and thumb together, or just slide from that knuckle and feel that intense feeling of bliss, joy, and notice how that changes your way of looking at the world and your goals, your dreams. And that's where we're going to dive into creating joy and all these things, or finding out if there's anything stopping us feeling this intense personal pride, joy, and bliss in everything that we do.

Then we'll find a process for it. But I just wanted to dive into this gently and easily, just so we've got a base camp, as it were, of where we're going and where, if you can feel it now, you've already got it. It's a matter of letting it out into the world, isn't it? Opening the doors, opening something in your heart to allow this to happen.

Your choice. I hope you enjoyed that, and I'll see you on the next shorter podcast, which is the five-minute quickies, which are about 10 minutes sowing the seed for where we're going in the deeper dives, so you can really prepare yourself and look forward to it. Hope you do.

If you did enjoy this type of interlude, I'd love you to let me know. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. That's the email address to use. I'd love to hear what you thought.

And if there's anything you think, ways that I can improve this, I know there's millions of ways, but if there's something that either bugs you or you think, well, if you could really enhance it by doing this, Cloughie, I'd love to hear that too, on that same email address. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Remember to subscribe so you don't miss these. And if you would share this, so other people can start to start their life, their day, their morning, their hour, their minute, with a feeling of joy, bliss, intense personal pride, that would be awesome.

So please share the episode. Until next time, my friend, have more joy, bliss, intense personal pride, and you can stand. Enjoy.

Bye bye now.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

Heading For Joy - Wanna Come With Me What if personal development wasn't about fixing what's wrong… but about deliberately heading for joy?

In this Five Minute Quickie, I share where we're heading next on the Personal Development Unplugged journey — and it's all about creating a life that feels worth living. A life with joy, intention, and chapters you're proud of.

We explore:

• Why joy might be the most underrated success metric
• The "book inside you" and how you're already writing it
• A different take on vulnerability (not the over-sharing nonsense)
• Why empathy isn't quite what people think it is
• A powerful question about suffering… and why you don't have to do it alone

This episode sets the direction for the deeper dives to come — using mindset, imagination, and inner work to let go of suffering and create more joy, one seed at a time.

If you're up for less struggle, more meaning, and a lot more joy… come with me.

Oh! And bring others along, too, by sharing this

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-524-heading-for-joy-wanna-come-with-me

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. And Will Marshall

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

FMQ 524 Heading For Joy - Wanna Come With Me

You're going to come with me? You see, I'm trying to set out a few episodes ahead now.

Give you an idea of where we're heading. And obviously, personal development is an intention, isn't it? You have your own intention of where you want to go. But to me, sometimes it's more about how you want to feel.

And if you think about it, if you've got joy in your life, you're doing pretty well. And you'll probably be doing things that are really, really good because they're providing joy in your life. So, think about it.

I want you to think about a few things before we head into the deeper dives. Here's the things I want you to think about. You see, everyone has a book inside them.

Well, not everyone wants to write a book. Do you want to write a book? Hmm. But in a deeper dive, I want to uncover the book that's inside you.

Because there is one. You're living the bloody thing. And with a little bit of hypno, hypnosis, maybe visualisation, a little bit of internal work, we can find out the remaining chapters of your book.

So, you don't have to write it. But what you have to do is live it and create the chapters of your life to come. So, at the end of the book, you can say, yeah, that's a life well lived.

I lived it with passion. I lived it with intention. And I'm fucking proud of me.

Yeah, and that's what I want for you. So, that'll be one of the deep dives we're doing. Then, this is what gets me sometimes.

These thought leaders. These fucking influencers. You know, they spout off about, you have to live a life of vulnerability.

You have to be oh so bloody vulnerable, spilling your guts out, spilling your life out to anybody and everybody, because that's the only way to live. Is it? Have you ever been with anybody who gives too much, too soon? It's embarrassing, isn't it? And it's not comfortable, is it? It's not a comfortable place to be. So, where are we going to go? Well, I have a different way of being vulnerable and how to work with vulnerability.

And yes, we'll dive into it. And of course, I'm going to say it again, probably say it again, with a little bit of hypnosis, with a little bit of visualisation and just diving deep into our unconscious mind. So, that's another deep dive.

So, what else? You see, I want to talk about empathy, because empathy is a good thing to have. Is it? Well, sort of. It's a bloody buzzword.

I hear so many people on podcasts go, oh, let's be empathetic, let's do this, let's... It's all got to be empathy. Empathy, empathy, empathy. And you see, it is important-ish, but not in the way most people think.

And I want you to be empathetic in a different way. And I'm going to deep dive in that too, so you can understand how you can use empathy. And you'll find that that will also link into that book inside yourself.

And living the chapters and creating the chapters, it will link into being vulnerable. It all goes in. You see, I heard this wonderful, wonderful, bloody statement, and it was an awesome statement.

So awesome, I might even repeat it twice. And there's a swear word in it. And the statement is this.

What is your capacity for suffering alone here? And why the fuck should you? That was the statement. I'm going to repeat it. What is your capacity for suffering alone here? And why the fuck should you? You see, in this version of personal development, the unplugged version, my version, it's all about letting go of suffering and finding joy in your life.

And that's my intention, for me, to find more joy in my life. And as I work through it, I want to share it with you. So you can find the tools that I use, the tools that I have used, the tools I use with my clients, and processes that just create more joy in our life.

Now, if that's all we do in 2026, I think that might spill into a few more years after that. But if all we do is create joy in our lives, what will it be like? Here's another question. Because firstly, you won't be suffering alone unless you suffer joy.

And suffering joy must be a damn good thing to do. But when you have joy in your life, the people around you get to be around you when you're joyful. And that's really good for them.

Good for them in so many different ways. They get to feel joy. They get to see someone being joyful.

And they can learn from it. You can be that shining example, shining lights into little cracks into their life to show them where joy can come from. And being joyful, it means we're going to be good for little old planet Earth.

And you get those three together, we are totally ecological. That's right. So imagine if you could, just for a moment, before I go, what does joy feel like? If everything was to disappear from your life, every negative emotion, every limiting belief, was disappeared just for a second or two.

Just imagine it now disappearing for a second or two. Right now. What would joy feel like? And what would happen if that feeling of joy was to keep doubling every day, every week? You were finding more joy in more things.

And it doesn't have to be boom joy. It could be that little seed of joy. There you go.

And you have that little, little seed of joy just bursting through. That would be a good life to have, I think, wouldn't it? So that's where we're heading. Well, that's where I'm going.

You want to come with me? Cool. If you don't, well, at least I've given you the heads up and you're not going to waste your time with me. But if that's where you want to go, come along.

Subscribe so you don't miss any of them because one of those might be the one thing, the one thing that makes a difference, the difference that makes a difference. Subscribe. Share this with other people.

You know I say that every time. That's the only payment is to pay it forward because it's no point in just having joy in your life. I like being around people who have joy in their life too.

Let's share all this with everybody and have fun. So come with me every week. We'll sow the seeds and then we'll do the deep dives.

Have more joy than you can stand every day. Till the next time my friend. Boom! We go deep diving.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

If You Thought This Was Bad Including deep hypnosis If you thought this was bad… it isn't. And that's actually good news.

In this deeper dive, I'm talking honestly about what happens when life feels overwhelming, when things get pushed down instead of talked through, and why "suck it up, buttercup" is one of the biggest myths we've ever been sold in personal development.

This episode is about not being broken, even when you feel like you are.

It's about understanding that feeling low, anxious, lost, or like a failure is not the end — it's a starting point. A platform to move from, not a prison to live in.

Inside this episode, we explore:

• Why suppressing emotions only makes things worse
• How feeling "not good enough" can actually be the best place to begin change
• The difference between pity and genuine support
• Why imagination is one of your most powerful tools for transformation
• How to reconnect with the best version of you — even if you can't see it yet

And embedded within this episode is a deep guided hypnosis / guided imagery process designed to help you:

• Let go of limiting beliefs and emotional weight
• Reconnect with your inner strengths and qualities
• Experience what it feels like to be your best self
• Begin acting as if change is already underway

You don't need to be "fixed". You don't need to be perfect. You just need the right tools — and a bit of encouragement.

What You'll Experience * A safe, grounded hypnosis process (eyes closed, no distractions) * Powerful imagery to reconnect you with confidence, ease, and self-belief * A reminder that growth doesn't have to be hard — it can be fun * Practical encouragement to start using the tools you already have

And I've got your back.

Call to Action If this episode resonated:

• Subscribe so you don't miss future episodes
• Share this podcast with someone who might need it
• Pay it forward — growth shared is growth multiplied

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/472-if-you-thought-this-was-bad/

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

transcript copy #473 If You Thought This Was Bad

So the deeper dive today. Welcome. The deeper dive.

If you thought this was bad, you're wrong. If you thought you have to suck it up, buttercup, keep it to yourself. Remember we talked about that on the previous FMQ.

You see, it's a new year, isn't it? It's a new year. And some, some people are following or failing in their new year's resolutions. And you know, I hate new year's resolutions with a vengeance.

For some, life's shit. It is at the moment. It's too hard.

Maybe we've got this belief that I'll never succeed anyway. I shouldn't be here and all that rubbish, all limiting beliefs, one of a positive intention, but they're limiting. And I can remember, I can remember this a long time ago, saying to myself, why the fuck bother, Clive? It's not worth it.

Too far down. Can't do it. But when I said that to myself, what I didn't do, I didn't suck it up.

I didn't suck it up, buttercup. I wasn't a buttercup and I didn't suck it up, but I did keep it to myself. I did man up by pushing it down.

Cause that's what men and women do. We man up, women up and we push things down. We suppress them.

Don't tell people about them, do we? We don't say, I need help. Can you help me? Suck it up, push it down. What a load of old bollocks.

It's a waste of time. Such a waste of time. Cause it just causes more problems, doesn't it? More problems.

You need help. Ask for help. And that's where we're going.

Cause if you thought this was bad, it's not. You see, this might be you now, the way I was, and I really just didn't think I was going to make it. And if it isn't you now, cause I didn't think back then that would have been me.

I thought I had a pretty good life and then boom, something happened and I got, well, the results were plain to see then. Sucking it up, pushing it down. And even though I thought I was doing it well, people knew.

Some people helped. Some people are brilliant helpers. Others, maybe not.

Because I wouldn't let them in. I wouldn't let them in. And the thing is, because I didn't feel that way, you might think, well, that'll never happen to me.

But just in case, not to put it into your future, but just in case it ever did, here you will have the tools. The tools to make sure that you can deal with it. So remember, suck it up, buttercup.

Push it down. Keep it to yourself. It's such a load of bollocks, in the personal development world that is.

Unless you're looking for pity. We said this before, if you're looking for pity, this isn't the place. Go to a pity party.

But if you, in that pity, think, well, I need a little bit of help. You can stay. You can stay.

Because we're here to help everybody. I'm here to help everybody. I'm helping you.

I'm helping me. Helping everybody. So, but if you are still here, I want to have a look at those feelings.

When I say those feelings, they're like the negative emotions that we experience. Not necessarily all the time. Sometimes we do with anxiety.

Sometimes anxiety can be pretty all the time. These negative emotions are never all the time, but they can feel so. Because when we're in that bloody jam jar, can't read the label, we think this is our world.

This is our, call it familiar zone. But there's also the thoughts that we have with those negative, attached to those negative emotions, the thoughts, the pictures we make in our mind. That bloody self-talk.

We need to look at it differently, don't we? If you've ever seen it, and I haven't seen it lately, there's a lovely t-shirt around and it says, I'm broken. But it also shows a smiley face with a bit of plaster, maybe a couple of stitches and a black eye, but there's still a smile on it. It's still a smiley place.

So if you feel broken, a bit like me, if you feel broken, or just a little bit broken, or maybe worried about being broken, or anything to do with broken, basically. If you feel like a failure, maybe feeling that you can't go on, maybe feel that you shouldn't be here. Maybe you think to yourself, why me? Why is it always happening to me? I'll never get out of this.

You know what? That's fucking great. And you're going to say to me, Paul, what's great about this? Tell you what's great. We've got a platform.

We've got a place to start from. We've got a place to push from. To move away from, towards something brilliant.

To create a life where we can access, experience all the wonderful dreams, desires, goals, that at this moment in time, you may not even dare dream them, but you will. You'll be able to imagine them. We're going to go through that in the next episodes as they come along.

But even if you don't feel broken, you know, maybe you're just a little bit of a failure. Not that you are, but you might think it. Maybe you get a little bit anxious now and again.

Maybe you get that little bit of, don't think I should be here. Who am I? Who am I to even do this? Think about it. Dream about it.

Who am I? But that's still a wonderful platform. I'm not good enough. It's a wonderful platform to move away from because we can.

And we can go towards, and in my notes, I went dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, because we're going towards whatever you choose. That's the thing. Whatever you choose, where you want to go, what you want to experience, what you want to share, what you want to bring to the world.

Yeah, that would be awesome, wouldn't it? So let's think. Let's just acknowledge something. A little swear word coming up.

But it's, fuck it, I'm here. I am here. I'm breathing.

I'm in this world. I'm above ground. Might have those funny old feelings, funny old beliefs, thoughts.

But I am here. Touch yourself, hit you, smack yourself on the heart, head, heart, whatever. You can feel it.

Feel your body. You're here. Breathe.

We are here in this world. Now, a long time ago, way, way, way back to hashtag 78, it was called opening up, letting you in. And it was my sharing of personal challenges.

But in that, I talked about my qualities. It was a process that came to me. I don't think anybody ever else has done it, but maybe they have.

Maybe that's where I got it from subconsciously, unconsciously, and I just brought it out for myself when I needed it. But I don't think so. But anyway, it was all about the qualities that I had, and I didn't think I had many.

But I think with this platform, let's go back to the qualities that you've learnt. You've learnt via experience. You've learnt by people telling you, reading stuff, looking at stuff, just being in life.

So if you want to have a listen to that, I might even do another rendition of it as well, another episode to bring it to life again. But there's also a hypnosis track. Hashtag 78.1, funny enough, called My Qualities.

Where do you get that from? Well, it's paulcloughonline.com forward slash podcast. I might even at the end of this, throw in the 90 seconds of hypnosis so you get it all. So don't worry about that, taking a note now, we'll put it at the end of this podcast.

But you see, I want you to imagine, because imagination cannot be overrun. It's your imagination. It's only you who controls your imagination.

No one else. And you can imagine what you choose, because you don't even have to think it's viable. You don't have to think that it's possible, because it's just bloody imagination.

It's like, I wish. Now, if it could be like that, that would be great. I can imagine what it could be like.

So I want, maybe, imagine the feeling that you would experience when you're succeeding. When all of this shit in your life has gone. You know, actually being the real you, not the old you, because the old you was part of that stuff that created all those negative feelings, emotions, beliefs, behaviours and all that stuff.

Like a desire, like a dreams. But if you were succeeding, if that was all disappear right now, and you could have life the way you wanted it, feel the way you want, be the way you want, behave the way you want, and attract everything that you want. I wonder what that would feel like.

Yeah. I mean, we can do this now and we will. But I'd love you to do my qualities, just to get a feeling of how good you bloody are.

Because you forget about it, you forget of all the things that you can do, have done. But just think now. Now, I'm going to do it in sort of hypnosis fashion.

Because I really, you could call it just guided imagery, if you don't like hypnosis, because that's the same thing. We're just going to do guided imagery. But I want you to relax.

I want you to relax and take a breath. But before we do that, remember, I'm a therapist, not your therapist, but this is only guided imagery, because I just want you to experience what it would feel like, what you can create in your mind, of how you want it to feel like when you're succeeding, being the best self. And if you could, I want you to close your eyes in a minute.

But if you're going to close your eyes, you're going to listen to this and go into your mind, well, you need to make sure that you're going to be undisturbed. You're not gonna be driving. You know, that would be stupid, wouldn't it? You're not going to be, I don't know what they call it, operating machinery.

Don't do that. You want to find, just make sure you're going to be undisturbed. You're going to close your eyes, it won't be too long, maybe 10 or so minutes.

But just make sure that you'll be undisturbed. So if that's okay with you, this is what we're going to do. And please remember, I am a therapist, but I'm not your therapist.

Okay? Just before you close your eyes, I want you to take a gentle in-breath for the count of four. Now. One, two, three, four.

Now hold it for the count of four. Two, three, four. And now let it out to a slow count of eight and allow your eyes to close through all the way to eight.

So when you're there, your eyes are closed. And I just want you to breathe gently. Just breathe.

In fact, I have a wonderful way of breathing in this state. And it's all about making every in-breath more gentle than the one before. It's so simple.

Simple as that. And as you breathe that way, allow your in-breath to take you into a lovely place of comfort. And then as you breathe out, just imagine you're being drawn in to a place of comfort, even more so.

So in-breath, you feel good and relaxed. And out-breath, you're just drawn into a wonderful place of comfort. It's your place of comfort.

And just imagine going deeper and deeper into that place. And as you do that, just imagine, maybe ask the question, what would it be like to feel twice as comfortable as I do now? What would it be like now? Feel it. And then ask yourself, in this imagination, imaginary, what would it be like to begin to imagine how I want to be? If I could see a me over there, just over there, that's it, being the way I dream of, or could dream of.

How do you want to be? Being the best version of myself. And be it over there. What would that look like? What would you see? And access all the powers of your imagination now.

See that you over there. See it so clearly. Having let go of all that stuff.

Or just become aware of it. Did the work. And now is living the best life.

They are experiencing wonderful life. Wonderful things happening. Their best self.

Wonderful emotions. Your best self. Not just happiness, but maybe joy.

Maybe even bliss. Excitement. Connection.

And even dreaming more dreams. Because you can. To create a reality.

So every day is a new day for creating even better change. To striving to be an even better you. New opportunities.

What does that look like over there? So many new opportunities. Do they have a smile on their face? Do they have a twinkle in their eye? Or even their eyes? How do they breathe? Do they move with an ease and a comfort and a confidence? Just sense it now of who they are. That's right.

Just watch them for the moment. Maybe you could imagine even more right now. What else? Even more.

As you do that, imagine they begin to walk towards you. And you somehow go towards them. Coming together.

And maybe in this wonderful imagineering of yours as one, you can imagine now. You're them. This is me.

You're you. This is you. Experiencing life.

Just the way you could ever, ever want to be. Feel the physical feelings of being in this body. Walking.

The ease of movement. Feel the smile on the inside and the outside. Because you can.

Feel the lightness of movement. Maybe feel the excitement. Maybe the joy.

The emotions. They're your feelings. You feel them now.

Whatever you would feel right now, you're feeling them right now. Of living your best life. Make them even more.

And moving towards an even better one. Feel those emotions. See what you'd see in the world.

And hear what you'd say to yourself. The encouragement you would give to yourself. Talk about the new dreams that you have.

The new opportunities you're going to take. The life that you're going to create for yourself. Because you can.

You can. I wonder, if you could access the most powerful positive sets of belief, or beliefs, how would they sound in your head? Hear them now. What would you say to yourself? How would you believe in yourself so positively? And maybe, you could imagine sharing this with other people too.

So they too can come on your adventure. Because that's what it is. It's an adventure.

We're not quite sure what's going to happen, but we know it's going to be better. Every day. Every breath.

A new breath. A new day. To create new things.

And feel what that would feel like. To experience the confidence in your competence. Feeling so confident.

So good. Imagine that feeling going all the way around your body. Feeling now.

From the tips of your toes, to your unconscious nose. Exactly how to trigger this. To create it.

That's right. And then, maybe just keeping this feeling. Because you could imagine, maybe now, as when you come back to the now, you could have this feeling and begin to act as if you have it already.

So when you go through the processes, choosing the thoughts, the dreams, to act as the of creating this now. You could act as if you have it already. What would that be like? And maybe just say to yourself the immortal words.

I call them immortal words. I think they come from Shakti Gawain. This or something better.

This or something better. This or something better. And with a wonderful sense of gratitude, you can take a wonderful in-breath.

Open your eyes. And go, yeah, I got this. Yeah.

So come back into the world. Look around. Feel that lightness.

Feel the brightness. And then just think to yourself. So what's the difference between then, that you in the future, but you can act as if now, and now? Well, here's what I thought when I did this.

Well, now I'm clueless and I'm toolless. There in the future, I was clued in. I was tooled up.

I love that. Tooled up. But right now, you see, you're just not using the tools.

You might not have the tools. And that's where the next episodes, my dreams for this podcast is to be able to supply you with the tools, the processes to make change easily or easy and effortlessly. Keep them simple because in simplicity, there's what? Genius.

Now you may say to yourself, I have the tools. Well, maybe you have got the tools. But if you're like me, I have to question myself.

I've got a lot of tools, but do I use them? Am I being a master of what I know and doing, knowing what I know? Say that again. Knowing what to do and doing what I know. Yeah.

Have a think about that. So how do we, and I say we, because it's you and I, make those changes. Now, you see, I think this is just a work in progress.

That's me. I'm just a work in progress. I get stuff that comes and still knocks me to the side.

I find a tool and I do something about it because I want my life to be better. And I want to be living my life, enjoying my life. If I can find some bliss and joy and share it, brilliant.

That's what I want. And that's what I want for you. So we want to learn the tools of change and use the tools to change now.

I want you to master them, know what you're doing and doing what you know, to let go of those limiting beliefs and find wonderful, supporting, positive beliefs. We can learn from past experiences. And when we learn from past experiences, with the processes we're going to use, negative emotions just have to disappear because then you'll have what you need or you needed back then that you didn't have, but you have now.

And also there's that one, it's like that pay it forward bit I keep talking about, is sharing your experiences. And you can share them in many ways, share your learnings in many ways. You can tell people, when I say tell people, you know, we can share what we've learned just by communicating, communicating what you've learned.

You can do it by experience, show people just by being you. So they can see what's possible. Obviously, I'd love you to share I'd love you to share this podcast with everybody, so more people can get the tools, the change.

That's what, that's my dream for this. And I know it's only a small podcast, but I want to make it bigger and bigger to show and get more people to make a difference in this world. So, that's where we're going.

And if you're serious about changing, but serious about having fun changing, because don't make it boring. We don't want to make it boring, we want to make it fun. Because when we have a sense of humour, we have a little bit of fun in our heart.

Change becomes even easier, because we're in the right state to begin to change. So, let's have some fun while finding the tools and the things that we need. And as I said in the previous five-minute quickie, if there is a direction now, now you know what it would feel like.

Now you can dream the dreams that will give you those feelings. Maybe you realise there's things that are holding you back, or things that you need to let go of. Negative beliefs, emotions, just send me that email.

Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Send it to me, we can then move in those directions, give you the help that you need. That's what I'm here for. Because me helping you helps me by the way.

If not, I just do it by my bloody self. And you'll just have to grin and bear what I'm going to share with you. Hey, it's going to be fun though.

More fun than you can stand hopefully. But certainly I want those dreams then to become bigger and brighter. And then those dreams to become your reality.

That's my dream for you, same dream for me. So if you're happy to come along on this little adventure, the personal development unplugged type, you know, the unplugged mind. Yeah, let's unplug everything.

Let's go in the direction that we want and experience the joy and love that you know we're here for. There you go. I'll see you next time.

Remember to subscribe, press that subscribe button so you get all these episodes one after the other whenever you need them. They'll be there on that little platform of yours and you'll never miss out on one. They might not all hit the mark, but every episode will have a golden nugget for you, I'm sure.

And then maybe there'll be that one that really does hit the mark. You don't want to miss out on that, do you? Let me know. Give me some feedback.

I've got your back. Okay, bodak up. Let's move on.

I do love it. Cloughie signing out. Bye-bye.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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Lets Start Over A brand new year often brings pressure to reinvent everything. But in this Five Minute Quickie, Paul invites you to start over without throwing everything away.

This episode is about recommitting — to your growth, your tools, and your intention to become the best version of yourself. Not by chasing pity or staying stuck, but by choosing encouragement, responsibility, and action.

With over a thousand episodes behind him, Paul explains why revisiting the fundamentals of personal development isn't going backwards — it's how real mastery is built. You may have heard it before… but you're not the same person listening now.

Inside this FMQ, you'll explore:

• Why "starting over" doesn't mean starting from scratch
• The difference between healthy honesty and unhelpful pity
• Why reminders are often more powerful than new information
• How mastery comes from doing what you know — consistently
• The importance of sharing what you learn to deepen your growth

This episode sets the tone for the year ahead: practical tools, encouragement, personal responsibility, and meaningful change — for you, and for the people around you.

And if you want a say in where this podcast goes next, Paul invites you to get involved.

Let's share this message and ask others to do the same

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-523-lets-start-over/

Let's start over — properly.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

FMQ 523 Lets Start Over

Welcome to a brand new year. Yeah, brand new year. And it's got me thinking because I do like to review where we're going, what we're doing.

And that's why the title of this FMQ is Let's Start Over. But I'm not starting over, over. You see, something got me.

I heard on... Well, I heard, I think it's a Navy SEALS type thing that they say to themselves. And it's, suck it up buttercup. Keep it to yourself.

And I'm going to guess, in a hostile environment, you can't show your emotions. So you do have to suck it up. You do have to keep it to yourself.

But then I thought, there's another, another place that we should suck it up buttercup, keep it to yourself. And that's if you're looking for pity. And if you're looking for pity, you don't want to be here.

Okay? Because this is a place where I know you and I are looking to change the way we feel. Looking to change the way we think and look to change any limiting beliefs and negative emotions. Well, how we feel, but then those limiting beliefs change what we believe.

And maybe we want to have access to tools, help, things that will help us change and encouragement. And that's what I've been thinking about here in this little old unplugged mind of mine. You see, there's over a thousand episodes here in Personal Development Unplugged.

Over a thousand. That's massive. Don't know where or how it all came out of this little brain of mine.

But the thing is, I want to continue to help. And when I say continue to help, I'm helping me as well. So it doesn't matter where you are on this adventure.

This adventure of personal development, self-improvement, looking to be and stretching yourself to be the best version of yourself. Because there's always going to be something here for you. I have challenges.

And I've been doing this stuff for bloody years. Still get challenges. But I also have the tools to help me with those challenges.

And I want to share them with you. Because you see, on this adventure of personal development, self-improvement, you're looking for your best self. There's a richness in rewards.

There's a richness in life. A richness of experience. And that's what I want to share with you.

So, in a way, I do want to start over again. Go back. I'm not going to go all the way back to episode number one.

No. I want to start delivering new tools. But because I've done over a thousand episodes, doesn't mean we can't go back to the type of things I did talk about.

And have talked about. Because they're still valid. And I don't expect you to go back and go, oh, I wonder what Paul was doing on episode 12.

But what I do want to do is start to cover those basics again. And also develop them into new stuff. Because even if I go over some of the stuff I've talked about in those last thousand episodes, they're going to be different.

The presentation is going to be different. The message is going to be different. Because I'm different.

So even if you've heard it before, if you think you know it before, or known about it before, you've learnt it before, couple of things. I will deliver it differently. And you will hear it differently.

Because you're different. You've changed. You've come further along this adventure.

So we're both different people. We're both with lots of different experience and learnings. And we'll listen and allow different things to come in.

So there'll still be an improvement. And the other thing is, it's great to be re-reminded, if that's such a word. Reminded.

Of the things that you know. Because, go and think of that mastery. Doing what you know and knowing what you do.

Because you might know this stuff, but are you using it? I have that same challenging questions to me. I ask myself, do you remember that stuff you've all learnt? Are you still using it Cloughie? And sometimes I'm thinking, well I hope I'm using it unconsciously. Sometimes when I look back at the videos I can see how I am using some of the things I've learnt unconsciously.

They're in the muscle for me. But there's other things I sometimes have maybe left behind and I want to develop again. Make them interesting.

So we can use them and really make some headway this year. Really make a difference. Make a difference to you, me.

The things that we believe. The emotions that we experience. Experiences in this adventure.

Get everything the way we want. And then be able to share it with people. Because when you share it, you really do get mastery.

Because then you do know what you're doing and you are doing what you know. And when we share it, we just grow. And sharing in a wonderful way helps other people grow too.

Which is so ecological, which has to be the basis of why we want to grow and be our best self. To serve and help others and serve and help this little old planet Earth. Because for fuck's sake, it does need it, doesn't it? There's a lot of shit going on out there.

And if we can all do our little little bit, like the old butterfly flapping at one side of the world, creating a storm of change over the other. And if we all flap, we'll make a difference, won't we? So that's where we're going to go. Oh, and the other thing I want to give you, completely free, is all the encouragement you can stand.

I want to give you every bit of encouragement because I want you to get your dreams, your goals, your desires. Everything. The full shebang.

So, if that is for you, no, suck it up, buttercup. Keep it to yourself. Unless it's pity and you're not going to be here anyway, are you? But if that's for you, we're in for a doozy.

A real doozy. And that's starting with next week's deeper, deeper dive. It's going to be exciting.

I'm looking forward to it. And one thing is, if you want to influence where we go next year, or this year, I'm recording it last year, now. But if you want to influence the type of things we do, learn, discover, experience, the direction we're going, so they meet your desires, your goals, your dreams and everything else, send me that email.

Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com Just give me a little pointer of the type of things you would like to dive deeper into. That's what I'm going to do. If not, you just have to come with me what comes out of my head.

But I'd love your feedback on that. And there's a cost for all of this. As you know, there is a cost.

I mean, everything else, you don't actually pay it, in a way. But what you do do is, if you could, pay it forward. Pay it forward.

Pay it forward what you learn, share what you learn, and if you could just share this this podcast. If you could, to your friends, your colleagues, but also if you could share it on social media. I know social media is a bit we don't have too much social media but there are people, if we can get them to see where we're going together, what we're going to do.

Show them, give them encouragement to come here. And we can just create more of that storm of change. So come sit down for a change.

Because it's not magic, but it will be magical. The changes you experience will be magical. If you've got the will to do whatever it takes.

And that was on one of the previous hypnosis tracks, wasn't it? The will to do whatever it takes. The secret ingredient of obtaining your your dreams, your goals, your desires, the richness of life. So please pay that forward if you could.

And also remember, we're going to be banging out hypnosis and NLP processes as much as I can. My processes as much as I can. So they're really specific into each one.

And I'll also if I can, keep putting them on my other site, paulcloughonline.com to where I have all my hypnosis tracks. About 60 something rather, I don't know. There's plenty there.

Plenty. Something for all occasions as they say. And if you want to go there now, it's paulcloughonline.com forward slash podcast.

And you get your unique link to all of those. To do that, have some fun. So we're going to dive in on the longer podcast.

We're going to start over. So get ready to suck it up, and share. Have fun.

And I'm going to see you on the deeper one. And every other one. Until then, have more fun than you can stand.

Ta-ra.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

Your Free Hypnosis track from #471 The Secret Ingredient To Being Your Best Self Let's go deeper than the longer podcast episode with the remixed version of the hypnosis process and install that secret ingredient into your unconscious and conscious minds.

It's available for downloading, so you can listen anytime and as many times as you choose.

Where Do I Get It?

Visit https://paulcloughonline.com/podcast to obtain your unique link. Alternatively, if you already have a link from a previous visit, you can use it. You'll find all this content, plus 60+ other hypnosis and NLP processes, all available with my compliments.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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471 The Secret Ingredient to Living Your Best Life Including Hypnosis What if the reason things haven't quite stuck yet isn't what you want… but why you want it?

In this longer, deeper episode of Personal Development Unplugged, I take you beyond goal-setting, beyond wishy-washy intentions, and right into the one missing ingredient that makes real, lasting change inevitable.

This episode includes a guided hypnosis / deep visualisation process designed to help you connect emotionally and unconsciously with the version of you who is already living their best life — and to install the inner resource that makes it all possible.

We explore why New Year's resolutions fail, why motivation fizzles out, and how your unconscious mind can be guided to work for you instead of against you.

In this episode, you'll discover: * Why "who do you want to be?" isn't enough without a powerful why * The secret ingredient that turns desire into action * How your unconscious mind learns just as powerfully from imagination as reality * Why visualising your future self isn't fantasy — it's training * A practical demonstration showing how imagination rewires behaviour * A deep hypnosis process to connect with your future self and install commitment * How to access the will to do whatever it takes * Why alignment with your values creates effortless momentum * How living your best life benefits you, others, and the world around you

🎧 Best experienced with headphones 🔁 Listen more than once to deepen the effect

Important note: Please do not listen to the hypnosis section while driving or operating machinery. Choose a safe, quiet place where you can relax fully.

Get involved: If there's an issue you'd like me to dive into with future hypnosis processes, email me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com

— I read every message myself.

And if this episode helped you… please share it.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/471-the-secret-ingredient-to-living-your-best-life You never know whose life it might quietly change.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

# 471 the secret ingredient to living your best life with Hypnosis

Hey, welcome to the longer episode, the deeper dive on who do you want to be? Do you remember a week ago or the previous episode, the five minute quickie, which was actually 14 minutes, was who do you want to be? And today we're going to do a process. Now it could be a deep hypnosis process, or it could be a light visualization. If you're on the video, it's probably going to be a light visualization.

If it's on audio, I'm going to add in some deeper stuff. So your choice. You can always flip between the two.

But the thing is, it's not who you want to be. It's bloody why. The why you want to be who you want to be.

You see, without your why, there's probably not going to be anything. You might start, you might start in the right direction of who you want to be, who you think you want to be. But then sometimes it'll fizzle out.

I'm sure, like me, you do like me, don't you? But just like me, you started something, maybe without thinking too deeply about it. You didn't really think about your intention. You certainly didn't think about what was important about it.

It just seemed important at the time, just felt that way. And you went and did it. And what happened? Fizzled out.

It's a bit like bloody New Year's resolutions, isn't it? We have to do this thing. We make these lists of what we're going to do. No real conviction, no real importance.

I could, I wish, that type of stuff. Wishy-washy wishes. And you see, to get there, you want a secret ingredient.

I call it a secret ingredient. It's a secret step, but it's not secret because you've got it inside you. It's a resource that's untapped.

It's untapped until you find your why. And when you find your why and what's important, boom. But I'm going to go into that a little bit later.

I'm not going to give it all away now because I don't do that. I want you to think at the moment, if you were being who you really want to be, just for the moment, doing the things that the person you want to be would be doing, the desires, the dreams that you have right now, that you over there would be doing it in your mind. Imagine that person in your mind, that ultimate vision of you, the person you want to be is actually there right now doing that stuff.

It's achieved everything you want to achieve. The wishes, the dreams, the abundance. And it's not just abundance of financial abundance, which it can be, but it's abundance of riches, experiences, feelings, emotions, things that touch you, touch you on the inside, make you feel awesome.

You know, there are experiences like you out there who is doing all the things that you dream of doing, has had a richness of experiences from where you are now to where they are over there. And if you thought about it now, just for a little bit, just let your mind go for this one. I just want you to think for a minute, imagine, just a little bit of imagination.

You can have your eyes open because it's just I want you to think for the moment. And you can think in words, you can think in writing words, writing is good. What would they, you be doing? What type of things would they be doing when they are fulfilling your dreams, fulfilling your desires, having this abundance of riches? Think about it now.

What type of opportunities would be coming your way in that situation? Because you've achieved all the things you want to do. You've done all the steps. You've created those opportunities yourself.

You've accessed the resources that you needed. You've learned what you needed to learn. And you put it into action.

You haven't just learned it. You've actually done and used the things you've learned. Because that's mastery, isn't it? Doing what you know, knowing what you do.

Think about it now. Imagine it right now. Say you could fly out into the future, right out there, right out to the future, to a time in the future.

This is imagination. So it's your time. No one can tell you any different.

It's you. It's your imagination. You're in charge.

Fly out into the future just for a minute. And if you were to look down over there, there they are, being and doing all the things you've dreamed of. What would they look like? What would they, how would you see? What would be happening to them? Imagine if you could feel it actually there and really being there.

How would they move? How would just, how would they be living their life? And I say they, that's you, that you down there in the future. Your best self. Overcome a few issues on the way, maybe.

Let go of a load of bloody issues. Let go of things like anxiety, depression, fear, guilt, anything like that. All that stuff that we don't need.

A little bit of grief just disappears because now we've got the learnings and now you can see yourself having that abundance, the abundance of life that you dream for. Yeah. You can even feel it now, can't you? I can feel it for you.

I can imagine what you're seeing and it's brilliant. Be so proud of yourself over there. You've achieved it.

Well, you know, because you use something to get there and it was worth it, wasn't it? Just seeing yourself there. It's so worth it. Putting the effort in, doing the reps, living out your intention with every heartbeat.

Just take a moment to take that all in. Yeah. Feels quite good, doesn't it? And that's just imagination.

So here's the thing. Come back to now. Come back to now.

And just understand now, your unconscious mind likes to work from the past. Your past experiences, because your past experiences is what we learn from. Can't learn from the future, because it hasn't fucking happened.

But it loves to use the experiences of the past to create behaviours and beliefs that keep you safe and allow you to get what you want. Sometimes there's a bit of a clash because, you know, it's trying to do something for you and it's not quite working, such as that anxiety, that fear, that guilt, that grief, OCD, all the stuff, all the syndromes you can think of. It's trying to do its best for you.

But if we learn from the past, then everything in the now becomes that much better. It allows you to access all the resources that you need to have the life you dream of. And because you, well, you know, I said you can't learn from the future.

Thing is, or can you? Can you learn from the future? I believe you can. I told you, you can't. I said your unconscious mind can't.

Can't learn from the future. But the thing is, and here's the real kicker, your unconscious mind, your best friend has real problems. Problems in a good way of understanding and realising what's imagined and what's real, because what's imagined appears to be real to your unconscious mind.

I'll give you a quick example and it's a really simple example between real and imagined and how things can change. Just imagine you were standing in front of me. In fact, if you're not standing in front of me, stand up.

I don't care where you are. Stand up and push both arms in front of you as if you were looking through your fingers in front of you. Just point your fingers out there and just turn to the right.

Turn to the right as far as you can go without straining. If you've got a bad back, don't do this at all. But just turn to your right and notice as you look through your fingers, when you're in that furthest point, just make a mental note where you've got to and then bring your arms back and bring them down to your sides.

Now close your eyes and don't move your arms, but imagine you're lifting your arms and turning to the right. Imagine going and doing what you've just done in real life, but imagine going six inches, what's that, 15 centimetres, 150 millimetres past that point that you got before. Just imagine going, oh it's so easy to go past that point and then bring your arms all the way back in front of you.

Have them come back to your sides and then imagine again, don't move them, eyes closed, just lift them up again. Imagine lifting them up. It's the imagination.

Your arms are staying by your sides. Imagine those arms going to the right again, going past that first point, going past that second point, that six inches, 150, whatever it was, and imagine going even further and further and further, as if you can go all the way around to the back of you, like an owl, but with your arms. Imagine it's so easy to stretch all the way around.

It's not even a stretch, it's just a movement and you can see all the wall in your mind. Going further and then bring your arms all the way back to the beginning in your mind, allow them in your mind, imagination, to come back to your sides and be in your body again. Now open your eyes, now lift your arms in real life, lift them up again where they are and now turn to the right and notice how far you go.

Yeah, isn't it weird? You go further than you could before. And how does that happen? Because your unconscious mind doesn't realise what's real or imagined and you've done it. You've done it in your imagination, so your unconscious mind thinks you've already done it, so you can do it again.

See, we've learnt from the future because you haven't done that yet, have you? Yeah, isn't it interesting? It's weird, it's a lovely weird, but now let's just imagine we're going to do it with, say, hypnosis or visualisation depending if you listen to the audio or you're watching. So here we go. Now it's going to be a little bit spacey I guess, just a little bit, because we're going to close our eyes.

Because I want you to close your eyes, because I do, and the reason I do is because it's going to take all the distractions away from you, so please do make sure if you're going to close your eyes, you do not need anybody's attention or no one needs your attention. You're not driving, you're not doing nothing like that, that you're working machinery and all that stuff they say about, because we're going to close our eyes and we're going to go deep inside our own mind, into our own imagination, maybe unconsciously, because we're going to guide your unconscious mind into your future self and then we're going to find that one resource, that one resource that you will never use before when you haven't got what you wanted, when you've got what you wanted, you've used it before but you didn't realise it. So now just have a look around, make sure everything is safe and sound, get really comfortable, you can sit down, lay down, do whatever you want, find a comfortable place, as I say, where you'll be undisturbed.

Okay, so it's time, time to enter hypnosis. So you found that comfortable place, somewhere where you'll be undisturbed for the next few minutes and as you sit and lay down, you can just breathe normally and I want you to take a wonderful, gentle in-breath for the count of four and then hold it for the count of four. And as you breathe out gently for the count of eight, allow your eyes to close and then breathe normally and as you breathe easily and effortlessly, I want you just for a moment, bring that issue to mind and set your intention to solve it, to let it go, to find a better way.

We're going to find better ways and as you do that, begin to start to make every in-breath more gentle than the one before, as you drift down, every in-breath more gentle than the one before, just all the way down. Just going into trance is easy. All you have to do, drifting down, is be prepared to do whatever it takes.

As you breathe and want the change, as if you're being drawn inside and I know you want the change, you're drawn inside to that most comfortable place. I know you'll get the results you want where all you have to do is let yourself go and you can do that. Maybe you'll just think of how it'll be and then as we drift past five, we go to four, drifting even deeper down.

How soft the muscles around your eyes could be. And what would it be like if they were so soft? And that softness was to spread through every muscle as you breathe out. So with that out-breath you're drawn inside and the muscles just get so comfortable too.

Dream of all the things, maybe even dreams. Letting go. Letting go to sleep in trance.

Now you can, naturally, nothing, but safe place to dream with your imagination, where we go inside, imagineering. Because imagineering and your imagination is yours and yours alone. Comfortable, lasting change.

And as you imagine what you want to have in life, how you want it to be, the emotions you want to feel, you can begin to just notice the muscles behind your eyes. The value, how soft could they be? Pure, wonderful values of life. And those wonderful behaviours.

And as you notice they can be even softer than that. You see, you can imagine that softness again will permeate. And that's what you can do with these processes.

Just allow them to happen. Comfort can spread, having the will to do whatever it takes. Being drawn into comfort.

Maybe how you want to live. Become aware of that place of comfort. And as you become aware of it, it's all over.

It begins to spread. Get bigger. That's right.

Because this is what it's all about. Being comfortable. Mind is listening to every word I say.

So whilst you drift and dream of all those wonderful things you want to have happen in life, your unconscious mind can now find a way to help you. It knows the direction you want to go. And that's all you need to do.

With crystal clear action you want to go. You don't need comfort resonating with you. Change.

You don't need to know the how. You just need to know the why. Your why.

Having the will to do whatever it takes. And your best friend. What will allow you to do? In harmony.

And how good would it be for you? And then how good would it be for those around you? Maybe you'll become aware of zero. That's right. Over there.

Zero. And as we go into zero. Because in a moment you'll enter and go through zero.

And when you do, my words will become your reality. And you'll follow and do everything I say with one caveat. And if I say anything at all which is against your values, your morals or anything you'd ever do, then you'll ignore that suggestion.

Your dreams. And what this is, to guide you and go deeper still. So when you go through zero, you'll be in that wonderful hypnotic state where my words become your reality.

To find new ways. To guide. To guide you to that wonderful change.

The last change. So go through zero now. Minus one.

Minus two. Minus three and minus four and minus five. And maybe you'll drift up to minus four and minus three.

But you'll just go to whatever level, however depth of trance that is appropriate for you right now. To sleep in trance. Into trance.

Into change. Just breathe and allow yourself to drift inside. Into a wonderful comfortable place.

And as you drift into that comfortable place, I want you to imagine now. Imagine that future self. The one we thought about just a little while ago.

That future self that is living out your desires. Living out your dreams. Living with abundance.

Abundance of joy. Abundance of love. Happiness.

Just enjoying every heartbeat. Fear has disappeared. Grief.

Anxiety. Every negative emotion has just disappeared. What's in its place? Imagine now.

You can feel what's in its place. Maybe it's that wonderful self-esteem. That feeling good about yourself.

I have that inner strength. That inner strength that is like, I'm just here. I'm just here in me.

I'm rock solid. I'm okay. I'm okay with me.

I'm okay with me in this world. My confidence is in my competence. And as you feel that, what emotions are you experiencing now? When you're living your true self.

Being that ultimate vision of yourself. That best version of yourself. Living your dreams.

Your desires. Living in abundance of everything. What will you see? How will you see the world? Will you see it slightly brighter? Will you see it more welcoming? Will you see it as an opportunity? How will you speak to yourself? And what will be those positive beliefs that you have that affirm who you really are? You might even smell and taste success.

And feel that feeling of ultimate comfort in you. Because you're totally safe here. Living your dreams.

Living your desires in total abundance. Every emotion is positive. Every behavior supports you.

Every belief is wonderfully supporting to your highest values. And as you feel this feeling of a good life, just notice for yourself how good it is for you. Be aware how good it is for those around you.

The people you mix with. Your family. The people you help.

And notice how good it is for you to be like this for the little old planet Earth. Because when it's good for you, good for others, and good for planet Earth, it means you're living totally ecological. Totally aligned with who you're meant to be.

And just notice here with these feelings, these wonderful emotions, from this future you. Your best self. Living your dreams.

Your desires in abundance. I want you to begin to understand, unconsciously, consciously, just let it happen. Understand how important this is to you.

Feel the feelings of how important it is. You might not be able to describe it in words, but just notice why it's so important to you now. To be able to live like this.

Why do you want it so much? Feel its value. And feel it with gratitude. The gratitude of being able to live your life, and experience life, at this wonderful best version of you.

Your best self. And if you want, you can make it even realer. Even more better.

Intensify the feelings. Intensify what you can see, hear, and feel. Imagine all the things you can do in all different areas of your life.

In your relationships. With yourself. With your friends and family.

Feel how important this is to you now. In all areas of your life. And when you feel how important this is.

How it's so much value to you. And this is the key. Find that resource inside you now.

The will to do whatever it takes to achieve this goal. This you. Because that's all you need.

The will to do whatever it takes. You know now how important it is to you. How wonderful it would be to be like this.

And imagine having it now. Having it all now. Make it so real.

So real. The will to do whatever it takes. And as you do that.

Commit. Because it's up to you now to make it happen. Commit to making it happen.

Commit to making your dreams possible. Because they are. Make abundance possible.

Because it is. Creating your reality now is so possible. Creating and experiencing joy, love, happiness.

Having the thrill of a heart with more joy than you can stand. And get your unconscious mind to access that resource. And that belief of having the will to do whatever it takes.

Into every cell. Imagine however you would imagine it. This is going into every cell of your body.

The neural pathways firing and wiring together. The synaptic gaps. Creating all of this.

Because now this is real. The only thing you have to do now is do it again. Because it's all inside you.

Together. As one. Where you can now go find your passions.

Live your passions. Share your passion. In selfless service.

Giving to others. Giving to the world. And thereby living your life in such a wonderful way.

Feel that sense of gratitude. That your unconscious mind and your conscious mind are now aligned. Creating this in the now.

Because you now know you have all the resources you need. And whatever you think you are, you're more than that. Whatever you dream of, you're going to have more than that.

Everything is possible now. Because you have the will to do whatever it takes right now. Take a deep breath.

Imagine locking it in place. Take another deep breath. This or something better.

And allow your eyes to open. There. It's called and we're back in the room.

And that's it. That's the ingredient. The will to do whatever it takes.

That's all you've got to say to yourself. I've got the will to do whatever it takes. I've got this.

And remember that feeling of living your dreams, living your desires, living in abundance. And with those feelings, you will find whatever you need. You'll find the right mentor.

You'll find the right ingredients, the resources, the opportunities. Because they'll come to you. You'll attract them with this wonderful feeling.

So hook into that feeling as many times as you can. Listen to this again, as many times as you can. As I say, if you want it as a deep hypnosis, then go to the audio version as well on Personal Development Unplugged Podcast.

Yeah, the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast. Remember which one it is. I've only got one.

Yeah, go find that on any of the platforms. It's around everywhere. They'll have that.

And if I can, if I can extract it and put it on my website, paulclothonline.com forward slash podcast. That's where I have all my hypnosis tracks. And if I can separate it out and give it there, just for you.

I hope you enjoyed that. This is a different way of working now is deep imagination, visualization, hypnosis, or whatever you want to call it, with wonderful processes to get your unconscious mind to do the stuff that led by your conscious mind. Your conscious mind is a goal setter.

Your unconscious mind is a goal as you want, but you have to set it in the right direction. You have to give it is why why it's important to you and commit to having the will to do whatever it takes because it is important. And if it's that important, of course, you'll have the will to do everything.

You'll do whatever it takes. Please share this if you can, because I want everybody to live their best self, not in the future, but right now. And every moment in the now get more and more better.

If you could share it, that'd be great. It gets out into the world, more people get this, it gets a wider coverage, whatever it is, but just if you could, that'd be brilliant. Please share to everyone you can.

If you have any comments about this, because remember, I'm a therapist and not your therapist. If there's stuff that you want to have a more a more depth dive or deeper dive into different issues and processes that will allow them to disappear or help them disappear, please email me feedback at personal development unplugged. I'm the only bugger here.

So you get a personal reply and we'll do something for you, I'm sure. So yeah. And if you subscribe, either on the video or on the on both on the podcast as one have an audio in one ear and visual when you want to have a visual because why don't have both but have fun.

I hope you enjoyed it. I did. And let's start creating the lives that we that's what we're here for.

Create the lives that are due to you.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

My Christmas and New Year Message Personal Development Unplugged

This is a short Christmas and New Year message from me to you.

A moment to pause. A moment to reflect on how far you've come. And a gentle invitation to think about who you want to become — without pressure, without rigid resolutions.

I share why I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, why every day is a chance to grow richer in life, and why loneliness is something we can choose to change. This is also a heartfelt invitation for you to help shape the podcast in the year ahead by letting me know what you want support with.

Most of all, this is a thank you — for listening, sharing, and paying it forward.

Have a wonderful Christmas, a peaceful break, and I'll see you in the New Year for deeper dives, practical processes, and meaningful change.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/my-christmas-and-new-year-message/

🎁 Merry Christmas ✨ Happy New Year 💛 And thank you for being here

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

My Christmas and New Year Message

Hi there, I just wanted to wish you happy Christmas time, happy holiday for those people who don't celebrate Christmas, just a happy new year. And I wanted to say that if you're planning your new year's resolutions, do go ahead and do them and then in the new year you can come back to the Personal Development Unplugged podcast where we can then make sure they happen because I don't like new year's resolutions because every day is a time for making changes, reviewing. I love this time of year to review how far you've come and if you look back and go back 12 months whether you set new year's resolutions or not, and I hope you didn't, but just notice how far you've come and also notice how you want to make your life richer.

So it's not a new year's resolution, I want to lose weight, I want to do this, no, I want to become more. I want to look after my health, my longevity. I want to be fit when I'm older.

I want to look as fit as Paul when I'm his age. That's a low bar and I want to be able to socialise. I want to be able to talk to people.

I want to be able to learn. I want to do all these things and we can talk about that in the new year because I'm very concerned that there's a lot of people who are very lonely and I want you to join with me in banning that loneliness, having the choice to be alone but realise you can have a choice to not be alone. And I want to get even deeper into the subjects such as body suicides, depression, sadness, guilt, bereavement, all that stuff that really bring us down.

And I want to get into them in a way that is both really interesting, different, but with processes that really, well you know, make a difference. They may only make a little difference but a little difference and a little bit more and a little bit more, when you do look back you'll notice how much you've changed. And again I always say this, I need your help to do that because I know what I go through and I talk about my own personal things that are happening to me and they lead me to what I hope helps other people.

But if you would just let me know the type of areas of your life you'd like to change. It doesn't mean to say they've all got to be issues, but we all have issues in some way so we can change issues. But it could be I just want to go to here, to here, to here.

I want to improve more. How can I do that? What processes would you concoct for me? I know we're not the biggest podcast in the world but I think the message is a lot stronger than a lot and it is only a solo cast, it's all dedicated to you. No interviews, no here's my latest book and that's the only reason I'm on here.

I get so many requests for people to come because I've written a book well bloody good job for you but this is about you and it's about me trying to help you because that is the only way I can keep sharing what I've got but a few years quite a few years of learning all the bits and pieces about hypnosis NLP different personal development ways of working and creating a few more of my own and I want to be able to give them and share them to you and the cost of which is absolutely nothing is it other than yes there is yes there is a bloody cost it's to pay it forward that's the only thing I ask if you could pay pay it forward by sharing sharing this not this not this episode obviously because this is just happy Christmas and things like that my little little plan for the year but pay it forward by sharing which if you share something that you found useful you know your tribe but your your friends will also find it useful I know and the thing is it's like all these issues that we have we very rarely talk about we fudge them how are you yeah I'm fine that you're not fucking fine but you hold it or am I just talking about myself I know I hold a lot in sometimes and I shouldn't if we share things then they go just below the surface that person doesn't have to admit they're not fine just then but as you share them they get there and then they feel they can open up because they make changes and I always used to say when people used to ask me you know what do you do I said I'm just a lifesaver that's all I do just saves lives and even my friends always you say you know are you saving any lives today Paul or did you save any lives today and it's the odd one and you could be the same you could be that lifesaver too for them and you probably won't know it but you might but inside here you'll bloody know it it'll feel good so with that have the most wonderful wonderful time and maybe take this time in the quiet if there is a quiet spot normally is just after Christmas before the new year just to see how far you've come because it's amazing when you look back to notice all the changes that you actually have made your new qualities as they were you know have a have a listen to the episode of my qualities and the hypnosis track of my qualities where'd you find that paulcloughonline.com forward slash podcast get or get them all but my qualities is where you really find what you all the resources you've you have naturally but also the things you've added to them have a go at that and then you can from there go well if I could do all of that what else can I do what else do I want to do how else do I want to change who do I want to be who am I destined to be because I'm gonna set that that goal be the person you dream of because you can okay that's it have a wonderful time and I'm gonna see you when I see you WARNING! You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly and run. Be brave my friend.

personal development unplugged

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

Who Do You Want To Be? As the year begins to wind down, this Five Minute Quickie (that may run a little longer 😄) invites you to pause, reflect, and ask yourself some powerful questions.

This isn't about New Year's resolutions – it's about intention.

In this episode, Paul challenges you to look at:

• Why you're really listening
• What you truly want
• Who you want to become

Because the quality of your life doesn't change by accident… it changes when you get clear on your why.

This short but powerful episode is the seed for the next deeper dive, where we'll explore how to align your unconscious mind with the person you truly want to be.

Key themes:

• Self-reflection without pressure
• Intention over resolution
• The identity behind change
• Planting the seed for real transformation

Listen now and start asking the question that changes everything: Who do you want to be?

Maybe one of your skills will be to share what you learn and you could start here with this episode :)

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-522-who-do-you-want-to-be/

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

So, welcome to the 5 minute quickie that is now probably a 10 minute quickie, being the seed to something longer, to deeper thinking, deeper diving. And as we're coming to the end of the year, I know some people will have their thoughts on New Year's resolutions, and if you know me at all, I don't do New Year's resolutions.

I don't think they're good. They fail. And I'm sure I'll talk about it in the New Year, but I think it's a great time to contemplate.

So I want to start that at the moment. We've gone into loneliness and we're coming out of it and we're going to dive back in again shortly. But I just wanted to ask you a few questions today.

Just a few quick questions in a way that, well hopefully they get you thinking. Thinking in a way that we can start to use them, use your thoughts. So what am I talking about? So, question to you.

Why are you listening? Why are you listening here? Question, why are you here? Why are you here? Why are you listening here? I mean, do you listen to other people? Other podcasts? I'm sure you do, don't you? But do you read, in this wonderful genre of self-development, about moving on, moving up, letting go of stuff? Maybe you've got an issue, an issue or two. I think we've all got bloody issues or two. Some are big, some are just little ones that knock around the side but could do well with, you know, they don't support us so we can get rid of them.

So have you got an issue or two that you want to lose? And in all of that, whatever you're doing, is it working? Is it working? How's that going for you? How's it going? Because you see, I just want you to reflect for the moment. We're going to dive, as I say, in a longer podcast into how we can make sure that we use what we learn, use what we listen, hear, read, think up here, how we can use them to create this world for us, our reality, being our best self. So why all these questions? Because I want you to think, and it's not just you, this is for me too.

I want to get to think of our why's. It's been pushed around a lot, isn't it? You've got to get your why, but your why is important because the important things are your why's. It's your intention, and it's the reason behind your intention.

It's the direction you're heading in, your aim. And it's that intention for wanting more or less in the case of the issues such as anxiety, low self-esteem, all that OCD, depression, sadness, guilt, fear, anything like that. We need to know our why, our intention.

And so before we go deeper in the longer podcast, because that's what we do here now, we're going to really deep dives with hypnosis. Because that's where we go into our unconscious mind. Some might call it subconscious, I call it unconscious.

Go to an unconscious mind where these things are generated, looked after, and we educate our unconscious mind to change. So maybe, just for a moment, you want to take another think, a thunk, to answer those questions honestly. So let's think, just for a moment or two, think, why am I listening here? What is my intention? What do I want to get out of this? Because sometimes, and I've done it myself, I just listen to a podcast with no intention at all.

And guess what? I walk out the other side and I might have learned something, I might have. But there are other times when I've actually said, I want to see what I can learn from this. What can I gain from this? And when I set my intention, because I know it's important, I want to change, I want to find something.

Guess what? I bloody find it. I find those golden nuggets, they don't disappear. So just think for a moment, why are you here? What do you want to get from this podcast? What do you want to get from other podcasts? Listening to others in this wonderful field, this field of creating the best version of you, creating the best reality for you, living your best life, because you deserve it.

What else? Why or what is your why? What is your intention for moving up, moving on? Letting experiences that hold you back go. Not letting them affect the now and anything that happens in the future that comes into your now. What's your intention for doing it? See, when we know our intention, we can then start to create the behaviours, access the skills that we need, find new skills, new mentors, find just the help we need, the resources inside and out to create that change.

But we need to know that intention and we need to know why we have that intention. Why is it important to us? And also, we've talked about the odd issue that we have. Think about, do you have an issue? Because we all have issues, we might have some anxiety around different contexts of our lives.

Maybe it's at work, maybe it's at home, maybe it's in a relationship. We all have fears. Maybe we have things like sadness, guilt.

Don't affect us 100% of the time, because they never do, but they're always below the surface, aren't they? And then they get triggered at certain points. And sometimes, like a bloody adult, we go, well, I can handle this, because I'm an adult. And adults don't handle it, they just make excuses.

Why not to handle it, to let it go, it'll be okay, I can manage it, we deal with it. But why do you want to deal with it? And here's one way to, what would it allow you to do? What would it allow you to do if they were to disappear? And that's self-sabotage. What else have we got? Imposters, imposter theory, or whatever we call it.

Syndrome, imposter syndrome, not a theory, Paul. I don't think it's anything, but it's something that affects us emotionally, and stops us doing the things we really want to do. So if we know why we want to do it, the reason we want to do it, and what it's stopping us doing, what opportunities is it disallowing us, if that's a word.

And as you think for that for the moment, as you do that, and you can do this with your eyes open, or eyes closed. Just take away the distractions, but it doesn't matter. I just want you to see yourself.

We've talked about it before, as if all those negative things, or we take them as negative, have disappeared. We're actually learning, we're moving on. We're accessing all the wonderful resources we have inside, and growing, striving, increasing our richness of life.

If you could see yourself over there, in that way, what would you look like? What would you look like from over here, looking at yourself? Is that you over there, someone you would desire to be? I know it is, but I ask you the question, because I want you to think. If I had the resources of that me over there, would I be enjoying life? Would I be enjoying it more than I am at the moment? And you can enjoy your life right now, but we can always have a bit more, can't we? Just a little bit more. If we let go of that stuff, we get new stuff, we find new mentors, we have new experiences, which we learn from.

Imagine what it would feel like to be that you over there. Just imagine it for a moment. Because you can, just by looking at yourself over there.

Imagine what it feels like now. If you wanted to, you could ask that you over there to come a bit closer. So you can really feel, in fact, so close that you can feel every sinew, every emotion, every just wonderful way of being.

Because that's, in effect, at the moment, your best self. But it can get even better. And the only reason, I think, that you're not getting it, you're not being that best version of yourself, is because we haven't worked out that why.

We haven't worked out our intention. And there's something else. There's a magic ingredient that you need, that I know you've got, but you may be not accessing it.

Well, I know you're not accessing it, because that would be you over there, right now, if you were accessing that special thing, that special resource. Which, by the way, keep that feeling. Keep that good feeling.

Keep it until the longer podcast, where we're going to dive deeper into what do we need to be the person we want to be? What do we need to do? How are we going to create that? Because they're in there already. It's a matter of letting them out. So think about that.

Letting that feeling out into reality. Hold that thought until the longer podcast. I hope you like doing this, by the way.

I hope you like doing this. It's a new venture for me in creating different things. Because on that longer podcast, I know we're going to have some hypnosis.

I know we're going to have a process that is going to tickle your little buds, as they say. And I hopefully encourage you to take that little, it's only a little step, but it's a little step that makes a difference. The difference that makes a difference.

Please share this if you would. Because sharing this episode, or all the past episodes, if you've enjoyed it, obviously if you haven't enjoyed it, why would you share it? But I hope you've enjoyed it. If you set your intention to enjoy it, you will, and find something new.

I encourage you to set your intention every time you press play. What can I learn? What can I find that's important to make me change, or allow me to change, to guide me to change? That would be a great intention. And if you share it, it just means more people get to listen to the stuff that we're putting out.

And it does grow. It doesn't make anything for me, but it does grow. And it gets to more people.

And if we can help more people get to be where they want to be, we've all done our job, haven't we? We've all done our bit of selfless service. If you do that, that'd be wonderful. Press subscribe, so you don't miss the next longer podcast that will come up automatically on your little fandangle thing that you listen to, or watch this on.

And more importantly, have more fun than you can stand. Okay. So with that, I'm going to bid you farewell, my friend.

And see you in the longer podcast. Ta-ra. Warning.

You are now hearing the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly and run. Be brave, my friend.

Personal Development Unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

Why Am I Feeling Alone And Feeling........? In this powerful longer episode, I dive into the hidden causes of loneliness — why we feel alone, why it often starts as protection, and how we unintentionally reinforce it with the wrong questions.

Then I'll guide you through a gentle, refined hypnosis process to help you reconnect with yourself, shift your emotions, and find comfort, peace, and connection again.

Practical tools. Better questions. Deep self-work. And the reminder we all need:

You are never alone. You are always with yourself.

Here's The Key Takeaways

• • Loneliness is often an unconscious protection response.
  • You are always the centre of your own world — so get into rapport with yourself.
  • Bad questions create bad emotional loops.
  • Better questions create better states and better choices.
  • Hypnosis can reconnect you to comfort, contentment, and possibility.
  • Small steps lead you out of the familiar zone and into real change.

If this helped, share it with someone who might need it today.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/470-why-am-i-feeling-alone-and-feeling Subscribe. Follow. And wallow in pleasure at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com and paulcloughonline.com/podcast where all the free hypnosis tracks live.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

So welcome to a longer podcast. Why am I feeling alone? Why am I alone and feeling... And I said dot, dot, dot, dot, dot because we feel so many different emotions when we're alone, don't we? But a long time ago, when I was... I talk about going through my dark times and things like that, but as I was coming out of it, I got more into my journaling again and in the front of a journal, I just wrote this little sentence and it just made so much more sense to me and it was, you're never alone, you're never by yourself, you're always with yourself.

You see, it doesn't matter where you go, does it? You can go everywhere to try to find yourself or you can go everywhere to fucking lose yourself, can't you? Keep changing the environment, hoping something's going to happen and guess what? You're always fucking there, you're dragging yourself along. It's your shadow, you are your own shadow, remember that, but you are never alone. You're never by yourself, you are always with yourself and when we can get into a rapport with ourself, that's when I think things really start changing.

Now, have you also noticed wherever you are and whoever you're with, you're the centre of your world, aren't you? It doesn't matter, everything starts and ends with you. You choose to be, act and believe, that's it, it's your choice but it's all in here, you are, whether you're in a crowd, whether you're by yourself, you're always in here, you are the centre of your world and everyone else is the centre of their world and we choose to do what we do and that's it, so we're never alone because we're the centre of our world, so we're never alone, back to the beginning, never by yourself, you're always with yourself and here's a bit of a harsh reality. Solitude, loneliness, is a choice, your choice, though when it feels it isn't, you get that feeling of maybe, I don't know, despair, sadness, you come up with a negative emotion but it doesn't feel like a choice, does it? Because why would you choose something like that? I know I've been there a couple of times, one was not good but never really, really, really bad, but I can only tell you my experience, it just didn't feel like I was choosing to be that way, why the fk would you? Why the fk would you? But the thing is, what I did realise and I do believe, in fact I think I know it to be right but it's a belief, it could prove anything, I think it's your unconscious mind is trying to protect us in some way, what the hell it is, I don't know, but it's trying to keep us safe from something, maybe it's from even more hurt from the outside, something on the outside has hurt us and we put the barriers up, keep inside, shut people out, but the thing is we shut everyone out, don't we? Not just the people we consider may have hurt us or the things out there that have hurt us, but we shut everyone out.

So it's an unconscious decision, do this, it's a behaviour, remember behaviours can all be changed by the way, so this isn't all dark, I'm just setting the scene of how I experienced it, but it is an unconscious process to protect you, and the thing is, I said this to everyone, wouldn't it be lovely, wouldn't it be great, wouldn't it be paradise, wouldn't it be absolutely the end of the world, if you knew, you could never be hurt, or you could do things and not feel hurt inside, and that's where the conflict comes in you see, because in order to protect us from being hurt, we're actually feeling hurt through this solitude, this loneliness, you know, through the feelings of despair, sadness or whatever, you fill in the bloody blank, it just doesn't feel good, and as a protection mechanism, I think it needs to be changed, don't you? If you could change it you would, wouldn't you? So, what do we choose instead of that isolation, what do we choose? Well actually, we tend to choose until we let it go, more isolation, more pain, because in some way it's now become familiar to us, isn't it? Because I don't call it a comfort zone, I call it a familiar zone, it's not comfortable, but we are familiar with this pain now, and we're not sure what's on the outside, and that can be a little bit scary, and we think it's the unknown, but we actually know it, we've walled it away, we've put a defence, an armour up, some type of war against all of this, we can't see through this pain, this despair, this sadness, this, you fill in the blank, to what's on the other side, it's that wonderful metaphor, a little brief one which says, when you're in the jar, you can't read the label. Now, here's the thing, I'm going to put myself in your position, your voice, and say, hey Cluffy, you keep telling me it's a bloody choice, don't you? Keep telling me a choice, do you think I'd choose this? That's what you're saying, isn't it? Do you think I'd choose this way? And I said, you know, that's what we say to ourselves, and yes, I do believe that it's a choice, but going back to what I said a minute ago, it's not a conscious choice, because consciously you would change if you could, but your unconscious mind says, I know better, I'm trying to protect you even more, and some time ago in the past, you know, it bloody worked, it had to have worked, your unconscious mind wouldn't keep doing it if it didn't work. As a prime director of your unconscious mind, it has to keep you healthy, and it has to keep you safe.

And that's it, full stop. Keep you healed, keep you healthy, and well, healing, and keep you safe. Well, there's loads more, little bits, but they're the two prime directors of your unconscious mind.

And one of the reasons I think it's reinforced as well, and you tell me if I'm wrong, is I know your unconscious mind is doing this more and more and more, more and more intense, hence we're getting these intense feelings of loneliness, sadness, despair, and all that stuff. It needs to be guided to a better way, but until we start talking to ourselves differently, what are you talking about? What I'm saying is, it's the questions that we ask ourselves. And the questions are, well, they're questions, but you don't always realise you're questioning yourself.

The things like, why the hell is this happening to me? Why won't this ever end? Why me? And your unconscious mind is a wonderful servant, you see, it will go away through all your memories, memories of the past, and find examples of why it won't end. Examples of why it's all about you, why it's always happening. You see, they won't fit the whole, but they're close enough and it jams them in.

Because you've asked what I would call a fucking boggy question. Now, what are yours? I've just told you a few, they must have been mine, I reckon. But what are your questions that you continually ask yourself? They may be things like, why me? You know, you hear people say, you know, if it's going to happen, it's going to happen to me, and it bloody does, because they're setting things up.

So what are your questions? What are your questions? The answers will come to you. If they're out there, on that piece of paper, guess what? You'll start to realise this isn't the right question to ask, it's just not. And your unconscious mind is always listening to you.

It's always earwigging there, what's that question? I'll go and get the answer, I'll go to find proper answers, because they're just bonky answers. But if you're going to ask a stupid question, you're going to get stupid answers. And I know you're not doing it deliberately.

It's just a thing that we naturally go to through those emotions. So they're like, they're feeding themselves. So I want you to just get them on paper to notice, you know, how bonky they are, how asking that question, you don't really want to know that answer, because it doesn't really matter.

Why? Yeah, why? Why does this happen to me? Who cares how we want to think of a better question? I don't want to know why. I don't want to know, you know, why it won't end. I want to know how we can get move on.

So I want you to choose your questions, your thoughts in a better way. And what might better questions be? Let's have a think together. Let's have a think together.

Well, maybe, I don't know, how can I learn from this? How can I learn from this? Because there's something happening in my life that I can learn from. Now, we don't know what it is. But it's a much more positive question.

Because if I can learn from things, if I can maybe learn, oh, I can see what I'm doing. And now I can maybe do it in a different way. How can I, you know, how can I use this to grow? That's a radically different question.

How can we use this to grow? Because if you think about it, we've generally grown out of all our negative experiences, we tend to grow so much more through them than the positive ones, because the positive ones, we just wallow in them, we love them. But it's those things that have happened in our past, that have been a little bit, you know, on the hurtful side, they've been more, I know, more significant, say, they're more a significant event in your life, you tend to learn from those. And the things when you've learned, guess what happens? The pain of that event disappears.

The negative emotion of that disappears, the limiting belief that you had around yourself disappears. In mine, I got so unconfident about myself, my self-confidence had completely gone. But now that has gone, because I learned from what was happening at that time.

And as things changed, I got more, I got my old confidence back and more, I grew from it. Maybe a question of how can I change now to feel? And you fill in the blank, how do you want to feel? Now, some people would go, well, I want to feel super confident, super this, super that. No, no, how about just comfortable? Let's just go to comfortable for the moment.

So what do I need to do to let this go and be comfortable? How can I replicate the times in my past when I've been comfortable? Maybe I've been content. Maybe I've been connected. Yeah.

Because we've always felt somewhere in your life, you felt connected. Somewhere in your life, you feel comfortable, content, you have. So you could bring them back to mind, couldn't you? And go, ah, just notice the difference between how that feels and how you felt a few minutes ago, or you've been feeling for the last God knows how long.

How many ways can I reach out to others? Who could help me? What skills do I have to be able to change? What do I need to learn to be able to change? These are great questions, aren't they? Here's another one. If this was easy to change, what would that be like? And that question, once you've gone through those others, because they start, they start to come out. And I think then you finish off with this type of question.

You know, this was easy to get this, this and this. What would that be like? You tend to see answers, because the answer to that question is, how would it be easy? Yes, you're going to put effort into it. But you're finding the simple way and in simplicity, there's genius.

So what would that be like? So the list does go on and I want you to write those down, follow mine, write mine out, and then let your own mind come up with new positive. Are they positive about the future? Are they positive about being the way you want to be? Now you know from the previous longer podcast about being where you want to be and your goals and things like that. This is great.

But this is something else. Again, they all add together. One of these will break that.

I don't like to say break the camel's back, but you know, one of these will be the last straw that gets you back into the you you should be, the you you really are, the you you deserve to be. So whatever you do, if you're going to use therapy to help you get over this, because you've got to do something. Now you know you've chosen it unconsciously and your unconscious mind needs to choose a different way.

You can help it, find a better way, notice how you want to feel, then ask the questions of how do you get there? What have you got to learn to be there? What have I got to change to be there? Who have I got to talk to to get there? All that stuff. But whether you choose therapy or do it yourself, this will help. So if there's no one around, by the way, no one around, or you can find a space where you're not going to be disturbed, where you do not need any, you don't need your attention to do anything like driving, in charge of machinery or people or anything, where you just sit down quietly for maybe just five minutes, come with me for five minutes and find a nice quiet spot.

If it's safe to do so, only ever if it's safe to do so. If it isn't, just press pause. And when you've got five minutes, then you can press play to either do that now or just find that quiet space and close your eyes.

And as you close your eyes, just breathe. Breathe normally. And as you breathe normally, well, just allow your out breath to take you deep inside.

That's right. Just for a moment. And thank your unconscious mind.

Your best friend. Your best friend. It is your best friend.

For doing what it's been doing. Yeah, I know it's been rough. More than that, I know.

But if you're trying to protect the best way, it knew how back then. And now we're going to search for a better way. Because there's so many better ways.

So just breathe. And remember, you can say these words in your mind with your inner voice or just let my words go in. Just remember, I'm never alone.

I'm never by myself. I'm always with myself, with you, my unconscious mind, striving to keep me safe. And just begin to imagine if the isolation, the loneliness, the despair and all those things were to disappear right now.

Right now it's gone. Completely gone. And you could just feel comfortable in yourself, comfortable in the world.

Maybe a little content. Maybe a little at peace. Just notice somewhere in your body now, there's a place where that feeling of comfortableness resides.

But peace. Content. And allow your unconscious mind to draw you down there now, just for a moment or two.

And from there, just begin to notice you can ask a question of your best friend. And we're going to ask wonderful questions. I know you're trying to protect me.

Did I feel unsafe? You fill in the blank. But how can I use this now to change and be comfortable? Be content to find peace? What things can you do for me? From all the wonderful things you've done in the past, all my experiences, to have me feel connected, positive for the future? What steps do I need to make now to grow and become the person I'm destined to be? Because I can grow. That's right.

You could ask your unconscious mind to go through all your wonderful experiences when you've, you have felt safe. You have felt content. And take the essence of those memories, the skills that you used unconsciously, and project that into the future.

And how can I use these wonderful skills to be different? To be whole. To feel good about myself. That's right.

And what would it be like to let go of all these negative emotions? And live a life of wonder. Live a life of wonder. Maybe joy.

Love and bliss. And I want you to begin to just notice what bliss might feel like. Make it up.

Imagine, create it. And how comfortable that would feel in the future. Imagine your future being filled with connection, learnings, enjoyment, love, joy.

Fulfillment. Yeah, being fulfilled. And send that to your unconscious mind, that feeling.

And ask, how can we get to these feelings instead? Because these are the feelings that make me feel really protected. And thank your unconscious mind for doing what it's done. And thank your unconscious mind for what it's going to do in the future.

To apply all these wonderful things, answers to your questions. Just for a moment, take a moment just to rest in this feeling. And maybe just say thank you.

And this or something better. And believe it. And from there, with a wonderful sense of gratitude, take a wonderful in-breath with me.

Let it out. Open your eyes and come back into the real world. And I want you now to start to look at maybe different places you can find instruction of how to change, how you want to change.

There's lots of episodes here. Lots of hypnosis tracks. But most of all, maybe just get a little book and write down the ways you want to feel.

Write down some of those really good questions. Think about things that if you did them, they'd make you feel the way you want to feel. Yes, we can have big and we can have small.

Start with the small, but write the big ones down too. So you get these feelings that are going to pull you. Instead of being pushed, you're going to be pulled into the future with motivation.

And just keep asking wonderful questions and keep thinking of wonderful things that you could do. Maybe they are big. As I said, they may be big and you think it's a bit too big.

Yeah, but what's the first step along the way? What's the first step along the way? If you listen to the last longer podcast, it gives you an idea of how to do those steps and to make it easy. They're all here. If you need some help, you know what to do.

Email me feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. I'm the only bugger here. So if there's some things that we can then start asking better questions, have a better little process where I can guide you to a hypnosis process or things like that, or an episode, I can do that for you. Please share this because you may not be lonely.

You may, like me, have been lonely and come back. But if you see somebody, you know, we ask that question, are you okay? And they go, yeah, fine. No, but really, yeah, fine.

Are you sure? Well, actually, just pass this on because you don't have to be total isolation, total despair, total down, but just a little bit. Let's nip it in the bud because this will nip it in the bud. Asking the right questions, looking in the right direction.

The past doesn't exist. It's only now. So create the way you want to feel right now, because you can.

Enjoy every heartbeat, share, subscribe and do all that stuff. Sorry for the swearing, but that's what we do. Have fun.

I'll see you on the next one. Bye-bye. Be brave, my friend.

Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]

View Details

Come And Play For A Change In this slightly longer Five-Minute Quickie, I'm inviting you to do something different… to come and play. Play with ideas, play with possibilities, and play with the truth about those heavy beliefs we sometimes carry like "I've got no one."

In this FMQ, we explore:

• How "I've got no one" is a belief, not the truth
• Why every belief — even identity-level stuff — can be changed
• Why it often feels like our issues only happen to us
• Why working with compassion (not empathy) creates real change
• How every issue is just a behaviour — and behaviours can change
• How these seeds we explore now lead directly into the deeper work in the following longer episode

This is your invitation to come play with me, to explore lightly but honestly, and to get ready for the deeper dive where we really shift these things.

Because it's not magic… but it's bloody magical.

Next steps: Make sure you're subscribed, share this with someone who needs a little support today, and keep an eye out for the longer episode — it's a good one.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-521-come-and-play-for-a-change/

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey, welcome. Welcome to the Personal Development Unplugged podcast with me, Paul, where we are going to dive deeper into serious subjects, but in a way that's hopefully serious, but fun, funnily serious, because changing can be fun.

And that's why I've said come and play for a change. And this is just like the seed I'm sowing that I want to drop inside you. And then we can nurture it, water it, feed it, and let it grow into the special person that you are.

And one of the subjects I want to talk about, or will be talking about, is the thought, and it may be just me, may be just me, but there's a thought that we have, which is a belief, isn't it? Thinking you've got no one. Thinking you've got no one. What a belief to have.

What a belief to have. How's that? How's that working for you? Because, you know, you're right. You are right.

You've got no one. What? Why are you saying that? I thought this was, I know what you're thinking now. I thought you were going to try to make things better, Paul.

Help me change. But the thing is, if it's a belief, and a belief of, you know, with an identity bit, there's a little bit of I in there. I've got no one.

And there'll be a belief below that, giving you the reason why you've got no one, which you're going to believe. Well, if you believe that, then you're right. Because that's what you believe.

But beliefs can be changed. Every belief can be changed. Every core belief can be changed, if it's right to do so, because some of them do no longer, what? Do no longer? Yeah, no longer serve us.

They were okay in the beginning, but they're no longer any good. So we're going to get rid of them, because that's what we do here. You see, every issue that we have is only happening to you.

Or every issue that's happening to me is only happening to me. You see, everyone else is fucking fine, aren't they? You see them wandering around, they're fine. That's a lot of bollocks, isn't it? I'm sorry, I'm swearing, because I do swear.

No, it's not offensive. It's just me being a little bit, well, passionate. It's my passionate way of speaking, which is a lot of bollocks.

Oh, it isn't. It isn't. But the thing is, we do feel that it's only us, isn't it? Only us.

You've got no one, because it's only affecting me. I know I feel that when I've gone through either dark stages in my life, or even mild stages. You know, something happens, you go, oh, only me.

And I'm going to talk deeper about that in the longer podcast, why it's only happening to you, or it feels that way. And this is the beginning, as I said, the season. I'm going to keep saying these seeds, the seeds of our dives, I call them dives, but exploring issues that can be so destructive.

They're destructive to ourselves and the people around us. And I know we don't want that. We don't want that.

If you were to really go inside and explore, I know you don't want that for anybody else. And I know if you were really honest, you don't want it for yourself. And the thing about this is, I asked myself the question, okay, Cloughie, so are you an expert in all of this, all of these bloody issues? And my honest answer was, fuck no, of course I'm not.

I haven't experienced all the issues firsthand. I've experienced some, and I've got out of them and I'm going to teach you how to do how I did it. And also, but the thing is, I have a belief.

You see, I have helped others let go of so many issues that I haven't experienced. You see, that's not empathy, you see, because I don't need to know how you feel. Nice.

We've talked about it before. It's all about compassion. I want to know how you do what you do, how you want to be, and how I can help you make that change.

That's where I come from. And I've done it so many times because I believe everything that we do is just a behaviour. Now, that's common bloody sense, isn't it? I'm doing something, it's a behaviour.

But we don't think of our issues as behaviours. I even think as a belief as a behaviour. And some of them can be really supportive, and some of them can be just shit.

But they're shit for a reason. And that's what we're going to dive deeply into and then find different ways of doing this behaviour. Honouring our unconscious mind.

Yeah, I'll do lots of processes, maybe a little bit of hypnosis. So come with me and play for a change. Because everything is a behaviour.

Every compulsion is a behaviour. Every addiction to me, my belief is a behaviour. And every behaviour can change.

We can change our behaviours easy. Sometimes it takes a little bit of effort. But the principles are simple.

Because in simplicity, guess what? There's genius. And you make things complicated, they just get bloody complicated. And I can't do complicated.

I want to do simple, effective ways to help you change. So that's where we're going. Look for the next longer podcast because it's a real good one.

It's going to be a good one. I'm recording it. Yeah, I know it's going to be a good one.

Because that's why I jumped in here to look at the way I'm dressed. Because I just just wanted to get on and explain to you where I'm going. And I want you to come with me.

Now, I know you may be saying, I'm fine. I'm fine. We all say that, by the way, we all say we're fine, even when we're not.

So, but the thing is, sometimes we are fine. And then sometimes we're not. And so by listening to this, and joining me in the processes, they'll help you in the future, you'll know to come back.

But even on little issues, we're going to talk about serious stuff that has, well, a serious in the way that they affect our lives seriously. As we said, the consequences of carrying on like this, we hurt other people hurt ourselves. We don't want that.

But the process can be used for all manner of different things. So it could be a small issue that you're anxious about, have a little touch of fear, we can still use the same process, because the process is just the process of changing a behavior. And you say, I don't worry how big the behavior is, as it were, how big this issue is, because we can bring it down to these basics in its simplest form, and then make the simplest change, which then blows out the water and creates a life that we all deserve.

I hope this makes sense. I hope you will come and play with me for a change. You'll come and sit down for a change.

It's not magic, but it's fucking magical. That's a change. I'm sorry, I'm swearing far too much.

Am I? If it offends you, let me know. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. If there's something that you you're suffering, and it's an issue that you want to change, let me know because I'd rather deal with that sooner rather than later. I don't want to just come up with it haphazardly.

I want to deal with the things that you want to have dealt with. So let me know. Same email address.

They're all the same. They all come to me because there's no other bugger here. It's only me.

So please do that and come and experience change, because then you begin to enjoy every heartbeat. And guess what? Your unconscious mind will start to surprise you to feel happy for no reason. And that is a wonderful concept.

To feel happy for no bloody reason when you're wandering around in your day. So come and play and share with everybody you can, because we all need a little bit of help some days. And that's days with a D-A-Z-E.

Days. Enjoy. Enjoy every heartbeat.

Subscribe by the way. Press subscribe because you'll get these. Don't want to miss one.

Don't want to miss one. And have more fun than you can stand. As I said, so go fly.

And I'll see you in the longer podcast and every other one. Bye bye now. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough.

It's time to fly now. Be brave my friend. Personal Development Unplugged

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]

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"I'm Not Good Enough – Where'd That Go?" In this deep-dive episode of Personal Development Unplugged, we go straight to the heart of that old familiar belief: "I'm not good enough." Where did it come from? Why does it stick? And more importantly… how the hell do we finally let it go?

Following on from FMQ 520, we go far deeper — unpacking the real intention behind that belief (yep, your unconscious mind is actually trying to protect you), the conflict it accidentally creates, and how to guide it toward a better way of keeping you safe.

And then… we do the thing. A guided process — powerful, imaginative, and deeply integrative — designed to dissolve the old belief, honour the intention behind it, and install new, empowering beliefs that actually support you. Not named, not formal — just a beautifully crafted experience that uses memory, imagination, counterexamples, and emotional safety to shift how you see yourself.

What you'll learn in this episode * Where "I'm not good enough" really comes from * Why it is helping you — but in the worst possible way * How your unconscious mind gets stuck in a loop of "protecting" you by holding you back * Why perfectionism is just the same belief wearing a different hat * How to honour the original intention so your unconscious mind joins the team * How to use imagination + real memories to generate powerful new beliefs * A full guided process to change how you feel about the past and the future * How to use this again to reinforce confidence, safety, and inner alignment * The reminder that you are always more than you think you are

Hypnosis-style process included Yep — this episode includes a guided inner process (eyes closed, deep focus) allowing you to revisit past experiences safely and then rehearse future success with new beliefs installed. Not formal hypnosis — but absolutely hypnotic in effect.

Why this episode matters Because this belief — I'm not good enough — is the quiet saboteur behind so much anxiety, overwhelm, perfectionism, avoidance, and self-sabotage.

When it shifts, life opens up. You get back your choices, your confidence, your comfort in your own skin. And your unconscious mind gets to protect you in a far better way.

Takeaways * Your unconscious mind always means well * Protection and progress only conflict when the strategy is outdated * You can change a belief by giving your unconscious mind better evidence and better options * You don't need to "feel ready" — you need to feel safe * You can install empowering beliefs now and rehearse a new future * You're already capable; you just needed access to the right internal resources

Please share this episode https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/469-im-not-good-enough-whered-that-go

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

So welcome to this longer podcast with me, Paul, Personal Development Unplugged. And it is unplugged in the way that we're going to do stuff that creates change in your life, okay? And if you were with me on the last FMQ, the five minute quickie, which is now a little bit longer, it was all about, I'm not good enough, where did it come from? We were looking very quickly and easily to find what was the cause of that belief? Because I believe, I'm not good enough, or I don't belong here, or those very general beliefs, because we have them in different areas of our life, came from somewhere else, came from something just below that, a more subtle belief, that are then generalised into different areas of our life. And if you found it, big props, I don't even know what props mean, but big props to you.

And, well, congratulations, well done. It means, to me, it means you're really in tune with that, and you did what it takes to get there. But if you didn't, it doesn't matter.

Well, it doesn't, no, it doesn't matter at all. Because this is still for you. Because I'm going to cover both people who found their cause, fine.

People who didn't, fine. It's just for you. And we haven't done any work, sometimes it disappears when you find the cause.

But if you still feel, I'm not good enough, I don't belong here, it's still affecting you, you're just in the right place, you're in the right place to, let's discover some changes, or how to change. But the thing is, I want to ask you a question. I'm not good enough.

I don't belong here. Whatever that belief that you have is. Is it doing you any good? Is it doing, I know it doesn't feel good.

I know it seems to stop you doing stuff. It's a negative feeling, isn't it? I know it's only a belief, but the feeling you get in your body is not so good. But is it doing anything for you? Do you know why answer is? Hell bloody yes, nearly swore.

I'll try not to swear this time, but I probably will. Hell yes. Of course, it's doing some good for you.

Because it's your unconscious mind protecting you, keeping you safe. Now you might say, I'm going to swear now, how the fuck is it keeping me safe, Paul? Because it doesn't feel good. And if it doesn't feel good, how am I safe? Well, I'll tell you for why.

I'll tell you for why. Well, it's your unconscious mind trying to protect you. It's no longer appropriate.

This feeling, this belief is not working because it doesn't feel good. But it's a hell yes, because it's the only thing your unconscious mind can do at the moment until we guide it into a different area to get it to view, to see, to experience a different way of being. And suddenly you're going, hell fire, there is a way.

And if there's a better way, it has to choose it. That's the thing written in stone. Your unconscious mind has to find a better way.

Its prime directive is to keep you healthy, to heal you and to keep you safe. And if it finds it's not doing it, it has to find a better way. And this is why we're here for.

So protection, how is it protecting you? Well, if you put it into another way, it's your best friend, your unconscious mind has given you the belief of I'm not good enough or that I'm just below the surface. It's giving you that feeling that's stopping you doing something because it doesn't want you to fail. It doesn't want you to feel the feelings of a failure.

It doesn't want you to feel the embarrassment of not succeeding. Now we have a problem because when it stops you doing it, that thing, because it doesn't want you to do it and fail and get embarrassed and get hurt and all that stuff. How do you feel? Shall I tell you how you feel? You feel a bloody failure, don't you? Because you haven't done it.

So there's a direct conflict, isn't it? Think of that direct conflict. I'm trying to protect you from feeling a failure. So I give you the feeling of feeling a failure.

Now I'm talking to you, the unconscious mind, to listen because there's a way out. There's a better way. You just have to bear with me for a moment or two.

See, the other way your unconscious mind does it, it says, well, you know, if I don't want you to fail or feel that emotion of failure, that embarrassment, that hurt, everything else that goes with it, you are going to have to be a bloody perfectionist. You're going to have to do everything in your best ability. And guess what? That's bloody hard, isn't it? There's anxiety that comes with it.

And anxiety is not the best motivator. It's overwhelming sometimes. And therefore we do fail when we go to present things or do things.

Or again, we don't do it. Or we get to be so perfect. And what happens is, well, there ain't no such thing as perfection, is there? You can always do a little bit better.

So therefore, you failed. And failure is only feedback. And we can learn from that.

But not when you're feeling I'm not good enough. And I don't like this feeling. I'm not going to do it again.

Or I'm going to try doubly hard. Now, think of this just for the moment as a sidestep. What would happen if you did that thing, but feeling comfortable and secure? How different would it be if that belief of I'm not good enough, or the one below the surface of that was to completely disappear? If that feeling that goes with I'm not good enough, I don't deserve it, I shouldn't be here, completely disappeared? What would happen? Well, you'd smash it, you wouldn't have overwhelm, you wouldn't have anxiety, you wouldn't have any fear.

And you do your best. And even if your best didn't quite make it, you go, well, I did do my best. And I can learn to be better.

And I'm proud of the best that I did. There you go. I tried.

And that's it. If you turn up and try, put the reps in and you turn up, how can you be any better than your best? But you see, in both of those, in the negative sides, you know, the bit where I want to hold you back, or I'm going to make you do so much and be overwhelmed by being a perfectionist. What a wonderful intention.

You know, what, what, what, what, what, what, Cloughie? Well, the intention to keep you safe, the intention to allow you to either succeed or to stop you, well, either way, to stop you feeling a failure, stop you feeling that hurt and embarrassment, all the other stuff we talked about. But you see, can you again see that direct conflict? What I'm trying to do for you, if I was your best friend, your unconscious mind, if I was doing that for you, and it's not working, then I have a conflict. Because what I'm trying to do is stop you being good enough, or not good enough.

I want you to be good enough. And in fact, I'm doing the very opposite. So I've got to change, haven't I? You, the unconscious mind has to change to find a better way.

And just understanding that is that little step forward. But the thing is, we have to find a better way. But what a lot of therapists do, they just tell you to be more confident.

They tell you just to get this feeling and do this and do that. And that's bulls. Because they forget, they're throwing away that intention.

And your unconscious mind wants to keep that intention to keep you safe. And by honouring that intention, we get your unconscious mind on board saying, we're not going to take that away. We're going to find better ways to support that intention of keeping you safe.

And by doing that, we're going to take away the pain, the embarrassment, the failure, all that stuff, and have you feeling good about yourself. Now, when you feel good about yourself, you're safe, aren't you? As long as you're not overconfident, we're not going to go there. Because we want to keep you safe.

Now, I say this all the time, if this feeling of I'm not good enough is really, really bringing you down. And you want to change really quickly. Go and see a therapist one to one.

See someone who's a hypnotist, a master hypnotist, NLP practitioner, good timeline therapist. That's what I would do because that's the way I've trained. And I know from my experience, you get results really quickly.

And even if you're going to do that, guess what? This is going to help. What we're going to do today, in this podcast, in this episode is going to help. Because this is a belief, a limiting belief.

Yes, it has a negative emotion, but they're linked. When one goes, the other one goes. But the belief is generally stronger than the emotions.

Because I take an emotion as being, in some ways, a behaviour. And the belief is just that little bit higher. So we get rid of the higher and the rest has to disappear.

So knowing that beliefs are chosen. I didn't choose a book, you know, chosen at the unconscious level. And they're chosen from the experiences that you've had over time.

We experienced something, maybe nothing happens and we experienced a similar thing. Something happened. And then we experienced it a third time and we think, oh dear, I'm not good enough.

Because those experiences have made us feel that way. And we take on that belief that I must be not good enough. And to protect you from those feelings.

I'm going to give you that feeling even more to pull you back. We've gone over that. We've got this wonderful intention.

But here's the thing. Let's throw this on its head. Let's get counter intuitive.

Yeah, sort of counter intuitive. There are different experiences you've had in the past. And those experiences have been when you have been good enough.

When you've succeeded in doing something. And guess what, when you have been good enough and you've succeeded, guess what happens? You enjoyed it. And you put all that together and you feel safe.

Now the thing about safety, and I've talked about it before, is you only ever feel unsafe. When you're doing things and you're in the moment and you're in the flow and you're enjoying stuff, you're just comfortable, you're there. So you don't feel unsafe.

And when you feel unsafe, you know you're unsafe. So we're going to use our imagination and our memories. Now, first of all, let's use our imagination.

If you could choose a belief, what would support you? A belief that would support you in all you want to do, what would that be? And I'm going to give you an example because they don't have to be massive. And it's not necessarily, I feel good enough, or I believe I'm good enough. It's that the direct opposite isn't always the belief that's going to support you through this.

It's things like, I'm here to learn and grow, and I can. I've got that. I've got this.

I think there's one in the Navy Seals, happy day. I've got this. Nothing can hurt me because I'm okay.

It's just feedback because I'm here to learn. I could be my best whenever I choose. I choose to be my best now.

It's those type of beliefs we could do. So just pick one. And I know you might say, oh, they didn't quite make sense or, you know, they don't feel real.

I don't care if they feel real. I just want you to pick one and make it up if need be. Because they're not set in stone.

We could change them, but just pick one to play with. Now, think of some examples. Maybe you've got some examples in your life when you actually did feel good enough.

I know you did. So we've got one we've made up, but just think about time in the past when you succeeded. You felt good enough because you succeeded.

It was it was a pleasant experience. You enjoyed it. Pick one of those.

And as you pick that, what we call a counter example, a real life example, what do you think the belief you had there was that supported you? And again, you might not get consciously. So use your imagination and say, well, what belief must I have had in that memory, in that time in the past? What belief must I make it up? So now we've got two different beliefs, haven't we? Two beliefs. We've got to pick one of each beliefs that support you.

One you've made up, one you've from a real life example in your past. Maybe you've had to just imagine what that belief is, but it doesn't matter. Because the thing about that is, where did you think that belief came up when you just made it up? It came from inside.

So it's probably the right belief anyway. Your unconscious mind gave it to you. So here's the thing.

Now, this is obviously going to be eyes closed. We said right at the beginning, eyes closed, just to take away the distractions. Even though it's not hypnosis, it's better to have your eyes closed because we just don't want anyone needing your attention.

You can really go into this because when you lose or change the belief of I'm not good enough, it's going to change your world in such a wonderful way. So make sure no one needs your attention. You're not driving, you're not having machinery or anything around you that needs your conscious awareness.

Find a nice little quiet place maybe where you're going to be undisturbed. It's only going to be a few minutes. And close your eyes.

And what I want you to do as your eyes are closed, just breathe gently for a moment. Maybe take an in-breath for the count of four. Two, three, four.

And then let it out really slowly. Sometimes we do it through pursed lips and it allows you to get into your parasympathetic. Oh, I've got big words.

And just feel more comfortable. So just breathe like that for a couple of times now. In for four, nice long breath out.

And I want you to bring to mind, again, this is a five out of ten on the level of emotion. Ten out of ten being the worst it could get, nought out of ten is feeling nothing. And as you do that, pick a memory where you didn't feel good at.

Five out of ten, no more than that, no more at all. Where you didn't feel good at. Now you've got that.

I don't want you to run through it yet. I want you to imagine there's a movie screen in front of you. Because on that movie screen, it's like that memory, but rewound to 15 minutes before it started.

Don't worry about it. You might not see it in 20-20 vision. It might be just an awareness and anything between awareness and 20-20 vision is perfect for you.

It's just right for you right now. So as you breathe gently, you know you've got like that still picture of a movie in pause, as it were, of that time in the past when you used to feel not good enough. Five out of ten.

And I want you to remember those two beliefs. The one from a previous example in your life, an experience in your life where you did feel good. And that belief that you must have had.

And that belief that you've made up, as it were. You know a belief that would really support you. Now I've got this.

Happy days. I'm here to learn and have fun. And as you bring those two beliefs together, as they were, and you can begin to feel the feelings of what those two beliefs do to you at the unconscious and conscious level.

How does it feel when you feel those two beliefs are so strong? And as you feel that feeling, and you can hear those two beliefs going in your internal dialogue, you can imagine pressing play and watch that movie of the past. But this time with this feeling and these two beliefs, they're in play. And notice how that movie of that memory changes.

How it could have been if you'd have had these two beliefs and this emotion. How they would have created wonderful behaviours. Maybe give you that inner confidence, that competence or feeling of calmness.

Just notice how that movie changed. Because it does and it will. Because now you've got so much better resources.

And as you come to the end you could pause that. Rewind it. And just notice how much safer you felt now.

How much better you felt in that movie. You went through that movie feeling that way. And now just do it one more time.

Really a little bit quicker. So you remember that belief. And that other belief.

And feel it. Feel that safety. And now press play again.

And go into that movie even more. See what you'll see. Hear what you hear.

And be different. And allow these two beliefs just to go through that event in the past. Of now how it could have been even so much better.

How much safer. Experience this new way. And then press pause and come back into yourself.

You're back in your new body. In your new body. In your old body.

And breathe. Keeping your eyes closed. Breathe.

Now here's the thing. We're going to do. We're going to imagine something you'd like to do in the future.

That you wanted to do. Have always wanted to do. But because of that old belief that you had of not feeling good enough.

You didn't do. Or if you did do it you got overwhelmed by trying to be a perfectionist. And it didn't.

But now we're going to think of an event in the future. That you'd like to be different. That you were stopped.

Because of I'm not good enough belief. And again. I want you to imagine.

That you could just. On that movie screen. Just rewind it to say 15 minutes before you were going to go into that event.

The event that you wouldn't in the past. But now in your imagination. You know you can go through it.

But this time. You're going to recall those beliefs again. And those feelings.

That those beliefs generate inside you. And all that wonderful safety that you had a minute ago. And as you do that.

In your imagination. Just step into that movie and press play. And as you're doing that just hear the words.

This or something better. This or something better. This or something better.

Just remember it. And go through that moment. That movie of this future memory.

With this wonderful set of empowering beliefs. Emotions. And feeling of safety and comfort.

And as you come to the end. Just press play. Press pause.

And then just let it go. Come back into your body again. You're back into where you are.

Now if you wanted to. You could do it again. And you can do it again whenever you need to.

Just remember those beliefs. Remember the of empowerment these beliefs give you. And all the wonderful emotions and behaviors and skills that you can access.

When you have this belief or set of beliefs that empower you. And just go through future events. Because you can.

And notice each time. How safe do I feel? And safety could just feel comfortable. I felt good.

That's safe. Now open your eyes. Open your eyes and come back to me.

Take a deep breath. In for four. Just feel good.

Feel good because you've done a great job. You've done a great job. Now rinse and repeat as many times as you like.

You don't have to do it that many. But if you feel you need to. Just do it a couple of times.

It's always here. Just rewind this episode just for those few minutes. You see this is now becoming installed in your unconscious mind.

Because your unconscious mind has to compare the two. What actually happened in the past. How you felt in the past.

Get it right Fluffy. Or how it could have been. Or how it could be.

And your unconscious mind can notice how much better it is. With these new ways. How much safer it is.

How it is keeping the intention of keeping you protected and safe. And feeling good. And allowing your life to be richer.

In every way. And it's just the best way of keeping you safe isn't it? You're aligned. Aligned to enjoy life.

To create your dreams. So you could do this for dreams. Things that you dream of and you think I'm not so sure now.

Now you can just imagine it. Press play. Dive into that dream with this wonderful set of beliefs.

And maybe you'll find even better beliefs now because they'll start to come up and they'll bubble up from your unconscious mind. To your conscious mind. And you can start to dream away.

And then your unconscious mind goes let's do it. Let's do it properly. Let's schedule it.

Let's start. Let's take action. Because now I've got a dream.

I can take action. And as you go through and take massive intuitive action. Consistent action.

You start to see results. Now you're aware that those results might not always be exactly what you want. So you can because of your awareness now you can change course a little bit.

Rectify things. Add things in. Do this again.

Because you've got the flexibility. The flexibility to change the way you feel. Access different resources.

And because you know you've done this in your imagination. You know how to act as if with the psychology and physiology of excellence of how you need to be. That's the five keys to success.

And if you need to know more about that either just search in the episodes or go to my hypnosis site paulcloughonline.com forward slash podcast and look up five keys to success and I go through that with you. So this would be that would be then like a reinforcement of this process of I'm not good enough. That's what I've said.

I'm not going to let it go. But it's disappeared. And you've now got a lovely, not reprogrammed, but you've cast away the conflict and allowing your unconscious mind to access all the experiences, all that you've learned from the past, all your wonderful skills, wonderful behaviors, positive emotions and beliefs, supportive beliefs, because that's what we do here.

So I hope that made sense. I hope you enjoyed the process. It's a lovely little process.

And with that, I'd love to hear about what your beliefs are now. Those empowering beliefs, because I like to celebrate them with you. I'd love you to email me.

So I did the process Paul, this is my one. These are my empowering beliefs. This is what I'm going to do.

I'd love to hear those and celebrate with you. So please email me feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. I say it so many times, just pop it out there. It's a long email address, I know, but once you've done it once, you can save it.

And to make sure that you can find this again, because you might need to go back if you wanted to, to just to reinforce it, rinse and repeat. Do subscribe, please. If you subscribe, you'll obviously find these, but you'll also get to know and be confident that you're always going to get this five minute quickie, which is now 10 minutes ish.

The longer podcast, which you're going to dive deeply into all wonderful things. And a lot of the subjects might be quite serious, but then there'll be other stuff where we just got to create stuff. We're going to use hypnosis, we're going to use imagination, NLP processes and techniques to create the life that you want.

So dream big, my friend, dream big, because we can go bigger than that. Because whatever you think you are, you're more than that. Okay? Enjoy.

Pass this on to a friend, or more. All your friends, all your contacts, just bang it out there. You know, and if you would hit, maybe share it on one of those social media sites.

One way or another. Have fun. Let me know, as I say, let me know.

And if there's any feedback that you would like to give me, whether it's about the way I communicate and connect with you, or the type of things you'd like to have, please use that email address. As I said, it's feedback at personal development unplugged.com. Enjoy. Enjoy every heartbeat, because you never know your unconscious mind if I was to talk to it directly, could surprise you.

Surprise you by feeling happy for no reason. Okay, go enjoy. I'll see you next time.

Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]

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I'm Not Good Enough Where'd That Come From? In this slightly longer Five-Minute Quickie, we're digging into one of the sneakiest, most stubborn beliefs so many of us carry around: "I'm not good enough."

Where did it come from? Why does it stick? And how do we uncover what's really underneath it?

This FMQ is all about preparing you for the deeper dive coming in the next longer episode, where I'll be guiding you through a process to change this belief for good. But first, we need a seed — a direction — so when we get there, your unconscious mind is already lined up and ready to shift.

What We Explore Today * How "I'm not good enough" often starts with something very specific. * Why a general belief always has a more personal root underneath it. * The types of life experiences where this message gets planted. * How your unconscious mind tries (clumsily!) to protect you with limiting beliefs. * A gentle exercise to uncover the real identity belief below the surface.

Your Mini-Mission Before we get to the long episode:

1. Notice the feeling of "I'm not good enough."
2. Keep the intensity no higher than a 5 out of 10.

3. Ask:

   • "I'm not good enough because I'm…?"
   • Let the deeper belief rise — something identity-level like "I'm stupid," "I'm invisible," "I'm useless."
   • Just notice it. No fixing today — just understanding.

This gentle curiosity will set you up beautifully for the transformation we'll create together next week.

Don't Miss the Next Episode That's where we take this seed, this awareness, and change the belief at the unconscious level. Not with willpower. Not with talking. But with a real process.

Share with your friends so we can all make this change together

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-520-im-not-good-enough-whered-that-come-from

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

FMQ520 I'm Not Good Enough Where'd That Come From

Hey, this five-minute quickie, I'm not good enough. Where did that come from? Slow down, Paul. Where did that come from? And we're going to go there, we're going to just have a little look at this to see where this belief of I'm not good enough, oh, you know, I don't deserve it, or, you know, I have to be a perfectionist, a perfectionist, I don't know why I said that.

But just that, I think we've all got a belief like I'm not good enough. And the I think it comes from something else, something more specific. And when we look at the specific and understand it, guess what, sometimes it just disappears.

And the thing is, that's what we're going to do. This is, again, a FMQ with a difference. Because it's not just me rambling, although it is a bit.

It's all about working out something. So we're prepared for a longer podcast. And in that longer podcast, we can then dive more deeply into that subject and allow it to disappear, come up with a process.

So this is what we're going to do. I'm not good enough. Where did it really come from? Now, a lot of you and me, we've just been told it.

You've just been told it, you've been told it by your family, maybe members of your family. Sometimes when we think back, we can remember being told, you're just not good enough, you'll never make it. I know I was told that one time about I wanted to be an artist.

I don't think I was ever going to be that good. But I had a dream to be an artist. And guess what, I was told, oh, there's so many good artists that don't make it, and you're never going to make it.

Now that had more than just the effect of saying, oh, well, you know, I'm not gonna be an artist. It did create negative beliefs in my life, which I've changed now. I've changed.

And you can because you can change all negative beliefs, by the way, even a core belief, identity belief, we can change them. So don't worry about that. Where else have you been told it? Have you thought about school? Now, what were you told at school? My son, Joseph, is a perfect example for this.

He was told at his, I think it was his last year of primary school, before going on to big school. He was asked to stand up in class and answer a question. And he got embarrassed.

He got nervous and couldn't answer and was told by the teacher, well, if you can't answer this, Joseph, you'll never make it in the big school. And he struggled. He really struggled to to go through big school.

I didn't know this at the time. He told me later, but he really struggled. But the thing is, never make it.

What a load of bollocks that is, because he now is changing people's lives, or helping change. He doesn't do it specifically. He is a facilitator for changing people's lives.

And he does it online. He's got millions of downloads. He runs such a successful online mastermind group, as it were.

It's a mastermind family that changes, has a whole set of modules of helping people change their core issues, negative core issues, to come out the other side and enjoying their dreams, creating their dreams. He has a wonderful set of hypnosis tracks, far bigger than mine. Oh, it's massive.

One of the biggest online. Joseph Clough hypnosis. You have to listen to that and see if you can tell what happened when he was a child, because he has changed.

What else? Maybe friends. Maybe those bloody kids having a, you know, bullying. I remember working with a guy who got bullied so much.

That he just couldn't talk to people. And how did it affect him? Well, he couldn't talk to his daughters. We had to do some work on that.

But when we changed that belief about not being able to talk, oh, he changed. And he didn't just change with his daughters. He changed in his work.

He changed everything in his life. He had an inner confidence, as it were. What else? Well, you see, sometimes it's your unconscious mind.

Your unconscious mind chooses for you to have a belief of, I'm not good enough, or something just before that, that morphs or generalizes into, I'm not good enough. Something happens when you're younger and your unconscious mind goes, I don't like this for you. I want to protect you from it.

And it gives you a feeling. It gives you a negative belief, a limiting belief that over time, it uses in different areas of your life, not the same type of problem, but similar problems. And therefore the generalizes into, I'm not good enough from a specific to a general.

And if you work on that general, you'll get a general result. And for you, I want a specific result. Because when you let go of the specific issue, all the effects have to disappear too.

They just disappear. So what I want you to do is when you're thinking of, I'm not good enough, I want you to think of examples. Not 10 out of 10, if 10 is the worst, not being, I don't feel it at all, but a five, five out of 10, because this is just exploratory.

And what I want you to do is think, go back in, in your memories. You find that feeling of I'm not good enough. And with that feeling, imagine being just drawn back into the past, just a little bit, make sure it's a five, no more five out of 10.

Just drawn back to think of times when you just didn't feel good enough. It was, that was an event that made you feel this way. But when you're there, just feel that feeling.

And maybe you'll find the cause of it. The very first time you felt that way. And you see, when you get to that very first time, you tend to find there's a different emotion there.

It could be fear, could be embarrassment. That's been generalizing to, I'm not good enough, because you can see how it would, wouldn't you over time. But just spend a little time doing that.

Say, I am saying over and over again, nothing more than a five out of 10. Because I don't want you to go on a, on something which is traumatic and go back in the past, because that's a fucking no, no, you don't do that. There's plenty of other processes that we can do that doesn't need that at all.

This is just following I'm not good enough back. And it's just curiosity. See if I can find the cause of I'm not good enough.

But the thing is, here's the thing. If you're, if you do that, and you find the cause, great, you got an idea, you got an idea where it came from. But here's the thing.

If you didn't, or you think, oh, I don't really want to do that. I don't want to go back in time. No worries.

Got you covered. Because I can do it in any way, shape or form. Because that's what we do here.

So how do you do it? This part is just right for you. Or if you didn't find this just right for you. I want you to start with that general belief.

I'm not good at, or whatever it is for you. I don't belong here. It's that you can imagine it's like an umbrella belief.

But and it covers different areas. And that's how it's generalized. So start with that.

And as you think about it, you'll get that emotion. Yeah. So I'm not good enough.

I shouldn't be here. I don't belong. Whatever it is.

You fill in the blank and get that feeling. Where is it in your body? Where exactly is it in your body? And put your hand on it. I always tell my clients, I ask, where'd you feel that feeling? Oh, I feel it here, Paul.

I feel it in my gut. So put your hand on it. Because when you put your hand on it, you're selling your unconscious mind.

Not only the feeling, I know where it is. Here it is. You're having a dialogue now, communication with your unconscious mind.

And as you feel the feeling, and this is, this is the thing. Feel the feeling now. Feel the feeling and say, I'm not good enough because I'm, and keep asking that.

I'm not good enough because I'm, I'm not good enough because I'm, and what'll happen as you get into that feeling, keep thinking of that feeling, is to ask your unconscious mind, I want to find the cause of this belief, the real belief that's underneath it. I'm not good enough. Feel the feeling because I'm, and it'll be something like, I'm stupid.

I'm useless. I should be invisible. Something like that.

And it'll have I in front of it because it's an identity belief. And that's what I say, we can change beliefs about our identity, easy and effortlessly, but you've got to find them first. When you think about it, and it comes up, and I've had so many times when I've worked with people and they are so good at what they do, yet they have this feeling of not good enough.

And when we go back, they go, oh, actually, Paul, I'm stupid. And I can now remember being told that by certain people. And I can remember, not necessarily a specific event, but it being there, and it makes so much sense now.

I can see how my unconscious mind didn't like that and has protected me. And things like made me want to be a perfectionist, had to try super hard. Now, the thing is, with you trying super hard when you're like that, because of the fear, the fear of failure, the fear of being an embarrassment or being embarrassed, the fear of just standing out in a not a good way, failing.

And we know there's no failure by any feedback, but at the time, we think it's failure. And our unconscious mind makes us, to protect us, gives us this feeling, I'm not good enough. Or I'm stupid and generalise into things like I'm not good enough.

And it makes you want to be a perfectionist or just protect you to make sure you do that. And then it gets overwhelming. And because of that, it then spreads into other areas of life.

But now we've got it. And what we're going to do when we got it, you got to listen to the longer podcast. Because this is like selling the seed, I just want you to explore, be curious.

Where did this come from? I'm not good enough. I don't belong here. That type of thing, you fill in the blank.

And then we find that belief that just below the surface. And you'll know it. Because it's like that thing where you just get that intuition, I can't even say the bloody thing, intuition, where you go, this feels right.

I don't know how it how I know it's right. It just feels right. And now we've got a grasp of it.

And we're going to take it and change it. But just sometimes understanding it, it'll disappear. Because you can go, Oh, I can see how my own contrast wanted to try to protect me.

But now we're going to find a better way. And that's where we go with the longer podcast. Okay.

So that's where it came from. Look out for the longer podcast, because that's where we're going to let it go. Okay.

So until then, remember to subscribe, remember to share, do all of this stuff. And I'll see you in the longer podcast. Have fun.

See you soon.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]

View Details

I Feel Sht So Let's Change This Episode in a Nutshell In this deeper dive of Personal Development Unplugged, we get real about feeling stuck, low, anxious or just "not ourselves" — and what to actually do* about it. No more endless talking, analysing or looping the same bloody thoughts. This is about changing how you feel at the unconscious level, where these issues were created… and where they can be changed.

If you've ever struggled to remember what "good" even feels like, or wondered why you can't just think your way out of the cycle, this episode gives you a gentle, powerful way to move forward — using your imagination, memory, and your very real inner resources.

What You'll Learn • Why "talking about your issue" rarely creates real change Talking keeps you in your conscious mind — the part that didn't create the problem. So it can't resolve it.

• Why your unconscious mind is the key Your unconscious created these feelings to protect you. It just chose a bad strategy. So we go back to that level to educate it and update it.

• How to discover how you actually want to feel (Not as easy as people pretend. But we make it easy.)

• How to use memories to unlock feelings you thought you'd lost If you can imagine the feeling, you have felt it before — we just need to uncover the counter-examples.

• A step-by-step method to go from "how I feel now" → "how I want to feel" Including the powerful "middle feeling" bridge that stops your brain panicking and makes real change doable.

• How to create experiences in your future that your unconscious mind believes are real And therefore starts acting on them now.

Why This Matters Because you deserve better than living with old, outdated emotional programmes.

Because you are more than the issue you're experiencing.

Because feeling good, calm, confident or safe isn't a fantasy — it's a memory inside you waiting to be brought forward.

And because change doesn't require force, pressure or reliving the past. It requires permission, imagination and simple steps.

Your Simple Action Steps 1. Write down how you feel now. Be honest. No judgement. 2. Write down how you want to feel. This is the feeling you'd choose if everything was just right. 3. Find the halfway feeling. The emotional stepping stone. 4. Use your imagination: Visualise yourself feeling the way you want to feel, in the exact context where you currently struggle. 5. Drop into a memory: Let your unconscious find a time you actually felt this way before. 6. Blend them. Bring that old feeling into the imagined future — your brain doesn't know the difference. 7. Repeat with curiosity. It's simple. It's gentle. And it works.

Cloughie's Notes (The Heart-to-Heart Bit) You are not broken. You don't need fixing. You simply learned a way of coping that doesn't serve you anymore.

And just as you learned it, you can unlearn it. And relearn something far better.

This episode is my way of guiding you to the place where you can make that change — easily, naturally, gently. Because you matter. And because I know what it's like to feel lost. And I know what it's like to find the way back.

Useful Links • Free Hypnosis Library: paulcloughonline.com/podcast • Episode Mentioned: #78.1 – "My Qualities" • Instagram & Email: If something comes up, message me. We'll explore it in future episodes.

Call to Action If this episode touched you, helped you, or even nudged you a little — please share it with someone who might need it. And subscribe, because the next episodes are going even deeper with real processes that create real change.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/468-i-feel-sht-so-lets-change/ ‎

Have more fun than you can stand. And remember: Change isn't magic… but it is magical.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

#468 I Feel Sh*t So Let's Change

Hey my friend, back for a longer episode of the Personal Development Unplugged podcast. So meet your friend Paul.

And on the last FMQ, which is supposed to be a five minute quickie, but now they're slightly longer because they're seeded as in sowing the seed for the longer podcast. And it was the last one was time to stop talking. Time to change.

And one of the things I asked you to do if you did listen to that was to decide, think how you want to feel. Now, if you did listen to that and you did write them down, that'd be brilliant. If you didn't, it'd be good to go back.

But if not, just carry on listening because you see, for some people, how you want to feel to think and be asked how you want to feel. It's bloody difficult. You've lived with this for so long.

I'll go into that in a minute. But for some of you, you haven't really got an issue issue. And you're thinking, why am I going to listen to this? Because everyone has a little issue.

Even if you don't have a big issue, you have times where you're going to do something in the day. And we can decide how we want to change, how we want to be, how we want to feel, how we want to act and the beliefs we have with that. So this is going to help too.

And if you've got an issue, and it's a big issue, you know what I always say, please go and see a therapist one to one, get in their face as it were, get them to guide you to make that change quickly. See a wonderful hypnotherapist who does timeline therapy and NLP and you will get get your result really quickly. And if you do decide to do that, what we're going to do today will still help.

In fact, it will probably speed up the process anyway. But we've always, we've all got something I guess we're slightly anxious about, nervous, fearful, maybe it's a little bit of, I don't belong here. You know, I feel an imposter.

All that stuff is there. But you see, when you're in it, in the issue, and it is an issue, and you've had it for a long time, it's really difficult to know how to feel, or how you want to feel. I've worked with a lady a long time ago, 15 years clinically depressed, that's what she was diagnosed at, told by doctors at the hospital, went as far as the hospital, no more drugs, we've got no more drugs that can help you.

So it's this awe, and I had to ask, but what's the awe? And she said, well, I don't know, you know, I'm just on these drugs, Paul, I just need to change. And I said, I want you to think of the last time you were happy. Not wackedly happy, but just mildly happy.

And she said, I don't think I've ever been happy. And now I knew that was a lie. But in those 15 years, like the walls of that depression had been her only experience, and it knocked out all the others.

So sometimes it's very difficult to remember. Remember times when, how you want to feel, or just to remember times when you felt good. Now then, I can remember a time, and I can remember it quite clearly now, but without the emotion.

It was a time back in my past when it didn't feel bad. I felt absolutely devastated. I was so bad, so bad that I would just fall down on the floor, not dramatically.

I just crumple up on the floor and start crying. And I knew something had triggered it off. I knew I was in a shit place.

I just couldn't stop. And then I'd carry on. And it was so weird.

So weird. I had to carry out a job on the outside, and be the Cloughie that everyone thought I was. But inside, I wasn't that at all.

It was terrible. So what I have to say, that is the worst time of my life. I actually wrote a book about it called, it doesn't have to be this way.

You can't find it because I didn't publish it. I did it online and things like that. But now I've left that alone.

But it was me talking about how I became my own therapist. And the very first thing I did when I was my own therapist, was to try to feel alive again. Because I didn't feel I had anything at all.

Now I know, or I'm hoping, you don't feel that way. Not as bad as that. And you can maybe think of times in the past when you felt the way you wanted to feel.

If you remember, I've asked you to make that list. How would you like to feel instead? But if it's difficult, this is what I want you to do first. And this is what I did.

And when I did it, it made a difference to me. And I'll explain it in a minute. And also, this process I developed for myself.

We begin, or my son and I began to use it in our trainings to help people. And it just seems, or we use it now all the time. And I've called it my qualities.

And basically, it's a mind map. And in the middle of my piece of paper, I do a circle and it's just my qualities. And I wanted somehow inside me, my uncle's mindset, start writing this.

Let's find out a little bit to remember about you, Cloughie. And the thing is, I sat there with that piece of paper in my special little quiet place outside in the garden. It was just me, the birds, lovely sunshine, feeling shit, feeling down, really down.

A black hole really. And could I find a bloody quality? Not one, not one. And I thought, well, I've got to write something down.

So what did I write? I said, well, you're breathing. That is a quality of life, isn't it? It is a quality. Because if you haven't got that quality, you ain't here.

So I wrote, well, one of my qualities, at least I can breathe. And then I thought, well, if I can breathe, what else can I do? Well, there's all the things I can do. I can walk, I can talk, I can write.

I've learned lots of things. So if I've learned lots of things, I have the ability to learn. That's a quality to be able to learn.

And then I thought of something like, well, if I've learned and stuff I've been doing is I've been sharing my learnings. So in some way, I'm a little bit of a teacher. And then you go, well, actually, I'm a pretty good hypnotist.

So there's a quality, isn't it? And no hypnosis, I've learned hypnosis, I can learn, I can share, and I can use hypnosis to help others. So here's a quality, I help others. And then it was like the floodgates didn't open like, but they opened a bit.

And more qualities came to my mind. And I wrote them down, each one, a line away from that middle circle of my qualities. And over a period, I guess it was about an hour, I filled up the whole bloody page.

And that day, the floodgates opened more and more and more. So my mind was able to really find all the qualities that I had. And I know when I look at it now, I've got so many more.

But just sitting in my quiet place, just looking at my qualities, it gave me a feeling of hope, a little bit of confidence in myself, but to feel that I'm someone who is worth looking after. Now, if you feel like that, not as down as that, if you're down as that, you know, I was my own therapist, but go and see a therapist. But when you're, just do this exercise for me anyway.

Because wherever you are in your life, knowing your qualities, because we forget the bloody things we don't think we've taken for granted. And I'll tell you what you have more qualities than you can think of right now. And when you understand your qualities, you go, you know what your self esteem starts to get up there because you think, yeah, I'm a bloody good person.

I've got all this stuff. And what else? And what else? And how can I add to this? Now find yourself a quiet place, piece of paper and a pen, pencil in the middle, draw a circle, write my qualities and then draw lines away. And at the end of every line or on a line, write down one of your qualities and just sit with it.

Keep sitting with it and it'll come out. Now, if you want some hypnosis to help you with this, I did one a long, long time ago. And it's hashtag 78.1. So that was a longer podcast, hashtag 78.

You can have a listen to that if you wanted to. There'll be more on this. Or go to my hypnosis site, paulcloughonline.com forward slash podcast and get access to 60 odd hypnosis tracks.

One of them, 78.1, go down there and have a listen to that too. And that would like put it all together. And as you're there, just flick through, flick through all the rest because there'll be one or two that jump out at you and they're going to go add this to what we're going to do.

Because this will help you find the ways you want to feel. But the thing is, even now with all my qualities, I've got my qualities now. You've done it quietly, you sat down, you read them and go, yeah, that's me.

There's more to come, I know, because you will be empowered. You're going to get some real inner confidence in yourself, self-esteem. And you know, you're worth a lot more than you thought.

But what does this mean? What is it? What? How is this going to help you find out how you want to feel? I'll tell you, because it's brought your self-esteem up a little bit. But now we're going to get back into really how you want to feel. And it's in small steps.

But first of all, write down how you want to feel. Now, you may have done it easily and effortlessly, from the last five minute quickie. If you did, maybe just look at them again and maybe add one or two.

But what I want to do now is, and by the way, if you haven't done it, start to think of how you want to feel. You see, but what I want you to do, because you know how you feel now. And maybe just, if you've got, again, a piece of paper, you've literally got three columns.

On the left hand column, it's how do I feel now? And on the far right hand column, how do I want to feel? And I know, as I said before, they're not opposite. They're not just, I'm unconfident, I want to feel confident. No, it may be, I just want to feel calm, collected.

I want to feel comfortable. I want to feel competent. I want to feel, there's so many different, but you put down how you feel now and then, oops, and how you want to feel at the end.

If you could have that feeling, what would it be? Now, the thing is, you've got a list now, probably. We're going to do one at a time. But the thing is, it's a hell of a jump to go from how you feel now to how you want to feel.

And I understand that. So look at your qualities. Just forget that self-esteem.

And then look at the first one. This is how I feel right now. This is how I want to feel.

Now, in between that, there's a middle feeling, a middle feeling that's like a step towards how you want to feel. And I just want you to go through and think, well, what is the midway point of feelings, that emotion? What would it be? So maybe it's to get to confidence. I just want to feel competent.

I just want to feel in myself, secure in my, maybe secure in myself, something like that. And you find these midway points, midway emotions, midway feelings. They're like the stepping stone from one to the other, how you feel now to how you want to feel.

Here's a stepping stone in between. Now then, here's a little bit, you know, just to try to think of that, how I want to feel. Try to think of the opposite to me.

And the thing is, make it up. Because sometimes it's so difficult, you know, because we get conscious in it. But using your imagination.

You see, if you think about it, well, because it's in my imagination, it doesn't have to be true. Because I'm just dreaming it. So think of that context of when I feel, when I'm in this context, this is how I feel.

This is this type of event. This is how I feel. And I don't like it.

But in the same context, if it was just the way I want it, let's just imagine how I want to be, see it in your mind. See yourself, just play with it. See yourself being exactly the way you want to be.

And that's all it is. It's just your imagination. So you can be exactly how you want to be.

And as you do that, you'll be able to get a feeling. And that's the feeling you want. Now what's that middle step? So you've got a feeling now you really have got the feeling of how you want to be.

And that middle step, the in-between emotion. And sometimes you might just feel it, you might not be able to put a label to it, just feel it. Maybe you just feel it, or you've got a label to it.

I want you to close your eyes. Just for a moment. Make sure there's nothing that you need, or needs your attention, you're not driving or doing anything like that.

You can do eyes open. It's just sometimes it blocks away the distractions. And I want to think of a time as you go into that middle feeling, think of a time when you had that feeling.

Just think about it. There's a memory somewhere that you had that feeling. And write it out.

Just a couple of lines. I remember. This is what happened.

This is the way I felt. Now it could well be that the how you feel and how you want to feel is not that far too far apart. You know, say this isn't the biggest issue.

It's just I get anxious when I do this. How do I want to feel? Well, I know and it's not that big a jump. When you write down instead of having the middle, the intermediate step, as it were, you've just got the start, how you feel now and how you want to feel.

Go again into your memory, go, I want to imagine myself being that way, the way I really want to be. And as I imagine myself, I've got that feeling. When did I feel that feeling before? Because I know you have.

And the reason I know you have is because you wouldn't be able to feel the bloody thing if you didn't or hadn't felt it before, because it would be so totally alien to you. So go into that feeling, go into that and then just guide yourself back into a memory when you felt it before. And as you go back into that memory, just notice how comfortable you feel, because sometimes we never know when we're safe and being protected because we're just in the moment.

We're feeling comfortable. We're just doing what we're doing and we're enjoying it. We only feel unsafe, fearful, anxious.

But in that feeling of how you want to be, there is no anxiety. There is no fear. It's just you being the way you want to be.

And because of that, you are totally safe because you're seeing yourself being totally safe. Now, what we're doing here, we are creating counter examples. So when you go back into your memories, you go, there was a time when I was, it doesn't matter how old you were, there was a time when I felt that way.

It's a counter example to your unconscious mind saying, look, you're creating this anxiety for me, you're creating this negative feeling, this fear, whatever it is, I shouldn't be here, the imposter, whatever all that stuff is, that one, you're creating that I know to protect me, to keep me safe, but it doesn't feel good, therefore I'm not protected. But if I felt that way, just like I did in the past, wouldn't that be a better way? And guess what, Mr. Mrs. Unconscious Mind, you were with me, you were helped choosing that way of being. So you've done it before.

And now, when you get that feeling from the past, a real memory now, not a made up, not a made up imagination, bit of engineering, as it were, of a feeling, you're now going back into your own past, your own experience, that says, yes, I've done this, and this is why I felt, and then you can take that feeling and just imagine doing it. Imagine going through what you're planning to do with this feeling again. And as you do that, just keep saying this or something better and feel how good it feels.

And the more you do this, the more your unconscious mind is going to start going, yeah, we're going to do this. In fact, it will start to believe you've already done it. And therefore, there is no fear, there is no anxiety, because you've done it successfully, you've done it feeling comfortably, and your unconscious mind knows how to keep you safe and protected.

Does that make sense? It makes sense to me, because I know it works. But I hope I've communicated in a way that is clear. It's not difficult.

It is simple. And some people go, oh, Paul, is it really going to work? Because it's that simple. Just imagine how you want to feel, then go to a memory, then you felt it and then put it out there.

You know, imagine it happening with that feeling. Yes, it is. It's that simple.

It takes effort, though. So don't just think, oh, I know all of this, because if you know all of this, and you still got these negative feelings, you're not doing it, are you? Knowing is not the same as doing. Mastery is doing what you know, and knowing what you do.

And then learning from that and moving on. So this is simple. It is easy.

But it takes effort. How much? Not that much. And if you really want to be and experience life the way you want it, this is just a few minutes work.

Please go do it. And when you do it, and you experience the wonderful feelings and the success and going through those events just the way you wanted it, then you can start to imagine doing even more. Even asking your question, now I can do this.

With this confidence in my competence, what I've learned, what else can I do? What can I do this even more? How can I enjoy life, creating this adventure of life for myself? Now, sometimes when we get to that point, something comes along, go, whoa, that's the time to let me know. I'd like an email, one on your successes, so we can all celebrate them together. The second one is if there's anything that comes up, go, oh, actually, a limiting belief has just come up.

Or this, I'm thinking about it, but I'm getting resistance somewhere. It's, I know it's good for me, but I just can't move past this. Let me know by an email.

And we'll do another longer podcast to really hone down or hone down. Which one is it? Hone or hone? But we'll hone something out, a process that will allow you to then let that go and move even more. That's what we're here for.

And this is what I want these longer podcasts to be. I want them to be in-depth. This is quite, I would say, not of a serious level.

It's serious to us, of course, but it's not like manic depression and things like that. But we are going to go into more serious subjects as well. Because even if you haven't got those serious issues, you might know of somebody who has, but also you can go, well, I can still use the processes on lighter things just because they're used for heavy things.

Same processes for use for lighter issues. I mean, this thing that we've done will create change for any issue. It may not break it completely, but it will certainly loosen that grip that it has over you.

And it will start to make steps towards the way you want to go. I know it will. That's what happens.

So with that, please go do it. Give me the feedback, feedback, a personal development, unplug those emails and make sure you subscribe. I love you to share these things, but it's a subscription.

It's better if you can share it to a person, to a friend, and they subscribe too, because it means more people get to these processes that are going to make a change for them. And we never know when we're going to need them. So keep listening, keep subscribing, and I'll keep doing the same for you.

So please enjoy and do it with curiosity and fun. Because that's the way we make changes really quickly. Because we can.

The change is not magic, but it's magical. So you go enjoy every heartbeat. Until the next time, my friend, I'll be with you.

It's Paul. Bye-bye now. Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]

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Talking's Over It's Time To Change In this slightly-longer FMQ, we're taking a gentle but powerful step toward real change. No more talking about the issue. No more cycling through the same thoughts. This episode is all about shifting your focus to what actually creates transformation — how you want to feel.

So many of us get stuck talking, thinking, analysing… and nothing changes. Why? Because talking doesn't always touch the unconscious mind — the place where these patterns were created in the first place.

• In this FMQ, I share: The real difference between empathy and compassion (and why empathy can overload you) Why talking about problems rarely changes them Where real emotional change really happens The simple, powerful pre-work for next week's longer deep-dive episode How focusing on "how I want to feel" can quietly shift things even before you do any formal process

This episode is your gentle setup — your seed — for the bigger, deeper process in next week's longer podcast. And it's beautifully simple.

✅ Your 7-Day Challenge (The Seed for Next Week) Each day, take 2–3 quiet minutes and write down:

How would I like to feel?

Not the issue. Not the problem. Not "what's wrong". Just: How do I want to feel instead?

Do it in different contexts if you want:

• With people
• At work
• Alone
• In difficult moments
• In good moments

Then… let it simmer. Let your unconscious mind start doing what it does best.

Next week, we'll take everything you've written and go deep with a full process to help make those feelings part of your natural way of being.

Why This Matters Because talking doesn't always change anything — but educating the unconscious mind does. And this tiny step gets you ready for a huge one.

Share It Share this FMQ with someone who needs to feel better, think differently, or get ready for some genuine positive change. You might kickstart something wonderful for them.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-519-talkings-over-its-time-to-change

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

FMQ 519 Talking's Over It's Time To Change

Welcome to the five minute quickie podcast with a slight difference. Slight difference is I want you to think about things.

So on a longer podcast, we can dive deeply into the subject and also with processes that allow you to change your issues. But what is it today? What is it today? Well, compassion or empathy. You see, I have real trouble with empathy.

You see, empathy, if I can say it right, seems to be that you have to feel the feelings of that person to understand them. And I know some really nice people who are mega empathetic. And the thing is, I don't think it does them any good, because they really feel the feelings of someone who is in pain.

And they feel in pain. I don't mind empathy when you're, you know, when you're feeling good, I'll join you in that one like no one's business. I'll be there quick as a flash.

But as a therapist, I don't want to feel your pain. I really don't. My mother, bless her, she was super empathetic.

She would have people come round. And in my mind, they were like, they dumped all their emotional pain on her, left it with her and walked away smiling. And she would then be for days thinking about it, worried about it, feeling it.

I don't think that's healthy, do you? Now, what's the difference? Compassion. Compassion. Compassion to me is to understand how you feel, how it affects you.

What are the effects of the way you're feeling? How, well, how bad is it? But I need to know from you, how bad it is. What does it feel like? You know, I don't need to feel it myself. Because I trust you.

I trust you if you know what, you are the expert in how you feel. Now, there's a real thing in this about having issues. Issues that make you feel pretty shit.

And you think, you know, people talk about these things. And this is where the empathy goes, I think. Because they talk and they talk and they talk.

And they keep talking and they keep talking about their issue, talking about their issue. And guess what? Nothing changes. And why doesn't it change? Now I know, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know sometimes it does change. Sometimes we get that aha moment. Sometimes that person we're talking to isn't empathetic and can reframe something, get you to think of something in a different way.

And you go, oh, that makes so much sense. But that's generally on the lighter side. With issues that are painful, or affect us in so many different ways, talking doesn't necessarily do it, does it? Sure, if you think about it, this is my thoughts anyway.

You have been thinking about this for a long time, thinking about your issue, talking to yourself, why me? How bad is it going to be? All those wonderful, bonky, stupid questions. Yes, they're stupid, because they're asking how bad it could be. And your unconscious mind will come and get it for you, show you.

But the thing is, all that talking, has it made a scrap of difference? No. Now you see, this is what I think. You see, if you'd have chosen to create this way, way of being, this feeling, consciously, all that thinking, all that talking would have solved it, wouldn't it? Because if you create a problem consciously, you can solve it consciously.

And if it's not going, you must have chosen this at an unconscious level. Now, you know that I believe your unconscious mind chooses these ways in a way to protect you. And at the time when it did it, it was the only thing it could do with the experience and wisdom that you had back then.

But now it's no longer appropriate. There are better ways. And the thing is, because it was created, chosen by you at the unconscious level, that's where we go to make our changes.

We have to educate your unconscious mind. Some people would say reprogram. I don't really like reprogramming.

It's just educating your unconscious mind to say, well, are there better ways to keep you protected? We're not going to take away that positive intention of keeping you safe, but is there a better way? Now you and I know there's better ways, far better ways. Now, this is what I want you to do. Because in the longer podcast, I want to dive into this and have a process or two to change.

But first of all, I want you to think in a different way. Not why has it happened to me? How bad it can get? All those, as I say, those bonky questions. I want you to start to think quietly, take some time out and just sit down quietly.

A piece of paper and a pencil pen is so much better because I want you to write them down so you don't forget them. And then when you come to the longer podcast, we can have a quick squint at them and go, yeah, they're the ones. But the thing is, it's not the issue.

I don't want you to write out the issue. Really, Cluffy? Yeah. I thought we were working on issues.

No, this is the difference. This is the difference that I think makes a difference. I want you over the next seven odd days, because that's that's been roughly the period next week when the longer podcast comes out, to just sit down five minutes a day, maybe at the most, and write down how you would like to feel.

Yeah. How would you like to feel? Forget the way you're feeling because it's not always the opposite. Maybe it is calmness, maybe it's contentment, maybe it's confidence in your competence or competence in your confidence.

Maybe it's connection. There are so many different emotions we could have. I don't want you to sit down quiet and go, well, OK, if I could feel the way I want to feel.

What would be the most appropriate feeling that I would feel comfortable in? Safe. And it could be in different contexts, remember. So it could well be that, well, sometimes I get this feeling when I'm with people, socialising.

How would I like to be? Maybe at work, and there's those meetings, I get, oh, how would I like to feel? Maybe when I'm by myself, how would I like to feel? Always how you like to feel, would like to feel. You can even think, well, if I felt that way, what would the consequences be? What would be the effects of me feeling that way, instead of the old way? But don't think of the old way. Sorry, didn't mean to say that.

In those contexts, when I feel the way I want to feel, what would be the effect on the people around me? Me, my confidence, and even further into the future. And that's all I want you to do. Nothing more.

Just sit down. That's easy, isn't it? Everyone can do this for two or three minutes. That's all it takes.

How do I want to feel? Ask the question, think of a context, and write the bugger down. And I'll tell you what, if you do this, can't guarantee it, can't guarantee it, but what tends to happen is things start to change without you doing any work. But that's what you've got to find out.

And you won't find out unless you do this little bit of work. And if you want to change, and you have the will to do whatever it takes, this is easy. And everything we do is easy.

And in simplicity, there's genius, and that's what it is. But it takes effort. But I'm only asking you for two minutes of effort.

That's all. Two minutes a day, write down how you want to feel. And at the end of the week, maybe, well, what would the consequences and the effects be if I felt those ways in the future? That's it.

Notice how you feel differently during those seven days. And then I'll see you at the longer podcast. And then we'll really dive into creating, how to create the way you want to feel to have happen in your life.

Okay, that's what we're going to do. Have fun. Have more fun than you can stand.

Really hit this one in a lovely gentle way. Just be easy on yourself. Just sit down, think of a comfortable, comfortable feeling.

How would I like to feel? Get curious. Okay. So until the next time, my friend, you go do that.

Have more fun than you can stand. As I say, share this with people, by the way, because I'd love them to do the same thing. So they could listen to the longer podcast and make the changes that they need to make for themselves.

Because that's what you do. You're going to be making this change yourself. Not me, not at all.

I will guide you, but you're going to drive the bus. Have fun. And I'll see you next week.

I'll see you at the next episode. Time to fly personal development. Unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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How To Achieve Your Goals Easily There's an easier way to achieve your dreams and goals — one that actually feels good and keeps you motivated the whole way through.

In this episode, I share a simple but powerful approach to goal setting that most people miss: starting from the last step — that moment when you've already achieved your goal — and using that feeling to drive you forward. You'll discover how to find your true why, anchor your motivation, and create a plan that's realistic, energising, and deeply aligned with what you want.

And there's more — I'll also guide you through a special hypnosis process designed to connect your conscious and unconscious minds, so the path to your goals becomes effortless and natural.

This isn't about grinding harder or forcing success. It's about feeling your way into it — knowing exactly what success looks and feels like so you can enjoy every step along the way.

In this episode:

• The often-overlooked final step that makes all the difference in goal achievement
• How to find and anchor your true motivation (your why)
• Why traditional goal-setting keeps you stuck and how to flip it
• The role of your unconscious mind in creating success
• A guided hypnosis process to help you align and take inspired action

Takeaway: When you start from the feeling of already having achieved your goal, and anchor that emotion, everything changes. Obstacles shrink, motivation grows, and the steps become natural.

Listen now — and let's make your goals easier, more joyful, and truly yours. Then let's share it with others

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/467-how-to-achieve-your-goals-easily

Shine Brightly 🌟

Oh! And the video link https://youtu.be/vIAOQUBEzjU

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

#467 How To Achieve Your Goals Easily

. Hey, welcome to the Lungar podcast. How to achieve your goals the easy way.

And yes, there is an easy way. And if you think about it, everyone talks, gives advice, maybe gives a workshop, give masterclasses in goal setting. And so many just go through the steps.

But some forget that visualisation of the last step. And the last step is not the last step just before you get it. The last step is having already got your goal.

You've achieved it. You're just about to move on. And you see, when you know that that's the step and you have it, so you know the step, you have that step, things just seem so good.

You feel so incredible. You feel so motivated. You feel so confident because you've already achieved it.

It's as if you have already achieved it. And I do this in so many ways in my trainer's training. I had to visualise not getting the certificate because that wasn't it for me.

It was sitting alone on these steps out on the balcony in Santa Cruz University, holding my certificate just by myself saying, Bloody hell Cloughie, we did it. That was my confirmation. And the thing is, the weird thing about that was, when we were given the certificates, someone had forgotten to sign them.

So the certificates didn't actually mean anything. That's so weird. So weird.

But that feeling that I took through the whole of, it was July, a few years ago, but the whole of July, I had that sense, that feeling, Cloughie, we've done it. And that helped me through all sorts of obstacles and things like that. But we just did it.

And that's the one thing that a lot of people forget. They think it's just, imagine you've got the, no, no, think of the very last step to know to guarantee that you've got that step. Because if you think about it, that is your feeling of the why, isn't it? Your why.

Because if it doesn't feel great, then it isn't the right goal. Or you haven't just massaged the goal to be the right goal for you. You've maybe just followed a path that your peers say this is the thing to do or society or whatever it is.

But you get that feeling and you go, yeah, this is it. This is right for me. And that's what it is right for you.

So it becomes your why. Now, some people also, even if they do that, they forget, forget to anchor that feeling. Anchoring is stimulus and response.

So when you feel that feeling of the feeling of the wish fulfilled, that feeling that you've got that goal, you've achieved it, you're about to move on, you get that feeling. Now, when you think when you're about to go through your goal, all the steps to achieve that goal, yeah, you're going to get that feeling, but to fire it at will by firing off an anchor, man, you're motivated. Your unconscious mind goes, this is where we're going.

You're telling your unconscious mind exactly the direction you want to go. And it makes all the steps that you put in front of you easier. And even if there are obstacles, like the hero's journey, you're leaving home, you're moving around different obstacles, mentors come along, all that stuff, that anchor will allow you to go all the way and come back home with that goal completed.

Now, I'm doing a lot of this, but some start at the beginning of a goal. So you've got your goal, you know what you're going to do, we've forgotten about the last step, we've forgotten about the anchoring, but we're just going to do the goal setting. And what's the first step you're going to do? And then they work out all the steps.

Now, problem is, when you start at the beginning, and you slightly go a little bit off to the left, or maybe a little bit to the right, or something distracts you, you're miles off course. And as you go miles off course, you tend to get deflated. This is my thought, this doesn't feel right.

You know, you can think about your goal, but it's not tangible, you can't grip it in your hands, because somehow you've taken a wrong step. So that doesn't work. So let's turn it around.

Some really do get it right. Some really do get it right. And they think of the last step, they get that feeling.

Some might even anchor it. And they don't start at the first step, they start at the very last step. And work back through every step of the way, every step in detail.

So you know exactly what you're going to do. Now, in theory, that's the best thing to do. If this is my last step, what have I got to do just before that step? And what have I got to do just before that step? What have I got to do before that step? And bloody overwhelming, isn't that? That's great.

That is a wonderful way to do it. Ish. I only say ish, because it's my opinion.

That is a better way. If you did those three things, get that feeling, get that why. Maybe anchor it, and then start from the last step.

But that could mean waiting round, or waiting around, because you've got to do all that bloody work from the last step, the step before that step before that step before that. And then it's so overwhelming. It's overwhelming because you think, shit, this is going to take longer than I thought.

This is going to take so much more effort. And sometimes it takes so long to get your foot on the first bloody run of that goal, to make the first step, to make the first movement, that you're disillusioned, you haven't, the motivation's gone and you've forgotten the bloody why now, because you spent so many times all that step there, then I got to do this, then I got to do that, then I got to do this. So there is a different way.

And I think it's a really easy way. It's an easy way to, I think, achieve your goal, but also to enjoy the process. Because if you don't enjoy the process and the actions of the goals, yes, that might be difficult.

But you still got to enjoy and have that feeling of the wish fulfilled, have that feeling of the last step and feel motivated through. Because if you don't, you won't get through the hurdles, the little obstacles in the way. You won't see opportunities.

You won't be able to circumvent them or even find that the goal can be even better. So what's the answer? You're probably saying, what's the answer, Cloughie? I know you are. I'm not going to give it to you.

Yes, I am. Yes, I am. I just made myself laugh that is.

Anyway, so what's the answer? The last step is so critical. It is critical. And sometimes it's difficult to find the last step.

We tend to think the last step is this, but it's actually one more step on. You know, some people, I used to, we used to talk to our therapists, or we used to train therapists in getting their, you know, the programme of getting a lovely life, professional life of being a therapist. And we'd say, you know, what is your last step? When you know you're really, you're supporting yourself.

And they go, my diary is full. My diary is full. Now I know I've got it because I've got a full diary, because at the moment, it's one or two people.

And you go, okay, yeah, fine. That could be a last step. But what if they cancel? What if they cancel? Okay.

What about if I see a check? If I see a check? Okay. Checks are in the old days, by the way. But even if someone puts some money through it, it bounces.

It doesn't come right. They don't commit. Maybe the last step is paying your tax bill.

Because that means you've done the work. You've been paid. And you're celebrating by paying your tax, because you've earned the money that you want.

And the tax bill is the tax bill you want to pay, because it demonstrates how much you've earned. That could be the very last step. Now, to make some people say, oh, I don't want to pay tax.

But if you know that you are contributing, but you know that that would mean that you have earned supporting yourself, and you had a great time doing it. Maybe that's the last step. Okay, so you need to think about that last step to make sure it is the very last step.

Remember what I said about my certificate? It wasn't bloody signed. But it wasn't until I sat by myself and looked at that certificate with the signatures, saying Paul Clough. So if I train a NLP, yeah, we did it Cloughie.

And even that we did it Cloughie is a wonderful. It's just in there all the time with me now. We did it.

So that's important. That is really important. And we also have to think of responsibility.

Again, sometimes we, you see, I can give a sort of guarantee. But the guarantee is, you have to do the will, have the will to do whatever it takes, because you really want it. And it can't be anybody else's.

You can't be doing it for anybody else. It's purely for you. Because that feeling of the wish fulfilled, the feeling of completing is just yours alone.

Remember, it's just yours alone. Yeah, other people get the benefit. But it's yours alone.

So just be honest, and also be honest, how long you're going to take. Now, remember, when we think about how long it will take. Sometimes in the short term, we go, oh, well, we can do this, this and this and this.

And we overestimate what we can do in the short term. But countering that we always overestimate what we could do in the long term. So we have to take into account what we've got to do in our life in the world in the short term.

Because you've got other responsibilities. But also think, well, it's going to take this long, maybe it's going to take six months to get this goal. Well, six months, could I do it in five, honestly do it in five? Or is it over? Is that too tight? Maybe five is doable.

Maybe it's a month. Okay, a month that I've got things to do, but I think, maybe pull it back to three, or is a month too short? Maybe it's five weeks. So just get it right.

Be honest with yourself, look at the stuff you've got going around you, because those will pull against that. We forget, you know, I can do this goal. But you forget you've got other goals, or other responsibilities.

So just look at the responsibilities you've got. Look what time you've got available. And when that time available, how long will it take? And remember, you've got to take a bit of time out, by the way, because you can't do seven days a week for however long.

You need a bit of time to yourself to just relax. Because you need to give yourself the present of just being by yourself sometimes or just going, I'm taking stock of myself, going to do a review, I'm just going to enjoy myself for a day, do nothing. Because that's revitalising yourself.

Maybe just spend the time just thinking of that wish fulfilled, that last step. Now, here's the thing. We don't work from the last step.

We have that, because we've got to anchor it. Because we said that's what people do. That's a good, the good thing to people do.

We look at the last step. The one that we know that guarantees us success. We've got success.

We anchor it. We might even give ourselves a little word, we've got this Cloughie. We've got this.

Or whatever your wholesome would be. It'll come to you. Because we're going to fire that off with every step along the way.

But now we look at where would halfway be? Where would halfway be? What would I have to be achieving at the halfway stage in order for me to get to that goal? Where would the halfway be? Now, sometimes you might go, well, halfway is, that's quite a long way too. Maybe that's three months down the line on a six months contract. Or contract, we talk about Cloughie.

A six months project, a six months goal. So maybe you want to bring it down a little bit. Make it manageable.

Because all these steps want to be manageable, so you can hit them. And when you hit them, you go, yeah, we did that. Well, come on, bring on the next one.

We're moving, we're getting there. We're moving towards what we want. We don't want to go away from stuff we want to move towards with wonderful, a wonderful sense of purpose and success.

So maybe just take four weeks. Where would I have to be in any length of goal in four weeks? Now, obviously, if it's a four week goal, you want to make it in two weeks. Yeah, halfway, because halfway is doable.

But on a longer, longer project, a longer goal, four weeks is manageable. Whatever you do, though, it's got to be halfway if it's less than four weeks, or four weeks, if that's less than half. Because anything can be done in four weeks.

And you can manage four weeks, you can look at what your responsibilities are in four weeks. The things you need to do to make sure when you think of where you have to be in that four weeks, in order for you to get to your goal, it's doable. Because when it's doable, you can commit.

So in that four weeks, you say, okay, what's the very first step? Just before that? So it's like the first step, the very last step, then the very last step before that last bit of that four weeks that I'd have to achieve. Because now you're on just the one before that, and then the one bit just before that. And now you're only working out the steps in four weeks.

Now they're manageable. They're also, you can do it pretty quickly. And you're not, it's not overwhelming, because it's only four weeks.

And if it is overwhelming, bring it even smaller, maybe two weeks, where I would have to be in two weeks in order to get to the four weeks in order to get to the next two weeks after that six weeks. Easy peasy. Easy peasy.

In simplicity, there's genius. And this is so fucking simple. But it means with every step of the way, firing off the anchor, getting that feeling and that word, go through every step, you are going to crush it every two weeks.

Well, every day, if there's a daily part you're going to do, because it's doable. So just break it down into those periods. We're going to visualise the process in a minute.

Because I want you to go through this process. It'll be like visualising a little bit hypnosis, maybe you're going to go into a different place because your eyes will be closed. You'll be visualising, seeing something in your mind, which is, you know, another dimension.

The reason your eyes are closed, by the way, you don't need to. No one needs to close their eyes to visualise. We daydream every daydream day of the week.

But it just takes away the distractions of everything out there. So you can go inside and really give your time to yourself. The reason I want to do it this way is because a lot of goal setting is all consciousness, or using your conscious mind to do everything.

And that's fine. That's fine. But you're not just your conscious mind.

You're your conscious mind and your unconscious mind. And when they work together, boom, absolutely boom, you've got it. So that's why I want to get this, you know, they call it alignment.

Being congruent. Because when you truly believe unconsciously and consciously, this is the thing to do. This is the direction to go.

You get that feeling. You're unstoppable, man. Woman, guy, whoever you are.

Friend. So here's what we're going to do. And I'll explain a little bit of the process first.

And then we'll just do it together. So the first of all, you're going to state your outcome. What the hell is this goal? Be specific.

And I'd like you to, you know, a lot of the times write the buggy, the thing down, get it out your head onto paper, because when it's on paper, it's out your head. And when it's out your head, you can start looking at it, make sure it's exactly the way you want it. So you know what it is specifically, and you always come back to it again.

Then imagine, we're going to imagine the very last step, the step that you know, you've already got it. We're going to feel it. And we're going to feel it with all our senses, which is weird, because you're going to feel it through your sight, your hearing, the sense of smell, taste of success, all of that.

And you really get that feeling. Then we're going to anchor it. And anchoring is just getting a finger and thumb.

And as you get that feeling, you're going to squeeze it. Do it uniquely. So it's not something you would normally do.

And then just do this. Maybe we'll do a little five minute quickie on anchoring, but it's simply that. Just finger and thumb together when you get that feeling.

Because the next time when you want to fire it off, you squeeze that finger and thumb together, say the word that comes to mind. You'll have that feeling again. Then you're going to imagine how long it's going to take.

And then halfway. And if halfway is too long, four weeks. And if it's a short term goal, halfway.

And then we're going to say, well, this is a milestone, but the milestone is this other goal. We're just breaking our goal into mini goals. So what's the last step? So now I've got that.

And then we'll just go back and unconsciously as well. Get your unconscious mind to work out the steps along the way, just before that and just before that. So you can intuit the smaller steps.

The smaller steps are easy to do. They give you confidence because you're winning and winning and winning. And sometimes you say, well, I can do four steps at once.

No, just do four steps on the run. One, two, three, four. You'll get there quicker.

Honestly. And each time you're going to fire off the anchor. And then what we're going to do is, when we open our eyes, we're going to schedule the bloody thing.

We'll imagine scheduling it and then we're going to schedule it. You're going to open your eyes, schedule and commit. Fire off the anchor.

See yourself doing it. Firing off the anchor. And then all you're going to do is repeat the process.

You're going to come back here. So say it was a four weeks period that we did. Coming to the end of that four weeks, you're just going to say, OK, where would I have to be at the end of the next four weeks in order for me to achieve that goal? Then just come back here and do the same process.

After a while, it will be an unconscious process that you'll do like a habit. But you've got this as a support. OK, so it's OK with you.

If it is OK. And it has to be OK, but you do not need anything. Nobody wants your attention.

You're not working machinery, you're not driving, you're not doing anything that needs your conscious attention because you're going to close your eyes. And as you close your eyes, just bring to mind the outcome, the outcome that you desire, the outcome that you're going to plan to succeed in achieving. That's right, just bring it to mind, state it with your internal voice.

You can state it out loud, but if there's people around watching you with your eyes closed and speaking, it might seem a little weird, but weird is good. But just inside state this goal with your inner voice. That's right, breathe it in.

And then imagine floating out into the future. That's right, just imagine floating way over the timeline of your future, just past the end of that goal. And if you were to know now, how would it be knowing that you've just achieved that goal, 100% certainty you've achieved it? Have a look around with your inner side.

What will you see? What will you see knowing that you've got this goal already? What will you think? What will you say to yourself with your internal voice? How will you be speaking to yourself? Maybe notice how you're moving. We've talked about that before, getting the body set and the mindset together. How will you be moving? How will you be breathing when you've got this goal already? Maybe there's a smell and taste in the air of success.

That's right. And when you put that all together, feel the feelings of having got this goal. Really feel them.

And as you feel those feelings, imagine that you could double them now. That's right. And then make them even more intense by doubling them again.

And as you double them again, get that little finger and thumb, squeeze it together gently. And just imagine the word that you'd say to yourself to know that you've got this goal. Because it'll come to you intuitively.

That's right. And as that feeling gets more and more intense, squeeze that finger gently. Have that word be repeated.

And now as you have that, you can let that finger and thumb go. We're going to use it again. Just know that when you do it the next time, you'll be firing off this feeling.

And your unconscious mind can make that feeling even more intense. The moment you squeeze that finger and thumb together and say that word, your own conscious mind can generate this feeling in every cell of your body. That's right.

So now take a lovely in-breath with me. That's right. Then just let it out and drift down.

Just drift a little down into comfort. Now, just imagine that you know, realistically, so it's not an overestimate, it's not too long. How long will this project take? How long will it take you to get to achieving this goal? Yeah.

How long will it take you to get to that very last step? And then, consciously and unconsciously, just as if you know intuitively, where would you have to be at the halfway stage? Because if you got to that place at halfway, you just knew the goal is in sight. Then you could say, well, where would I have to be between now and then, halfway between then, until you come to a place of four weeks? Where would I have to be in four weeks time from now in order for me to know that I can get that goal by this process of every four weeks? And if it's longer, if it's shorter rather than four weeks, where's halfway? Where would I have to be halfway in two weeks in order for me to know that if I got there, that goal is in my touching distance, it's in my grasp, I can feel it. And as you realise this last step of this shorter period now, just imagine you had a movie of you carrying out that work right from now all the way to that last step in four weeks time or however long it is now.

And imagine going to the end and rewinding it so your unconscious mind can notice the smaller steps all the way back to now. And when you're back to now, just ask yourself, what's the very first step that I took now? If I took it now, it would lead to all the next steps to get to that very last step. Intuitively it will come, and you may even see the second and the third.

And as you're thinking of that, hold that finger and thumb together, squeeze it gently, feel the feeling and say that word, the word that you just know that you're going to get it. That's right. Feel the feeling of the wish fulfilled, your why, your purpose, knowing that you cannot be stopped.

That's right. Then let go of that finger and imagine yourself now scheduling this out in your diary or whatever plan you use, scheduling it out so you can think of step by step that will come to you intuitively to get there. And even as you think of that scheduling now, fire, put that finger and thumb together, fire off the anchor and feel the feeling.

Having already got the whole goal and allow it to enthuse all of these smaller steps. And as you feel that feeling, imagine yourself now doing that, doing the steps.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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Help Me Make a Difference Hey, it's Paul here, and this episode is a little different.

I want to ask for your help — because I really want to make a difference.

For years I've been putting out two episodes a week — a Five-Minute Quickie and a longer one — and to be honest, it's been tough to keep up. More than that, I've realised I want to go deeper. I want to spend more time on the stuff that really matters — the stuff that helps people change for good.

So, from now on, I'll be doing one episode a week. Sometimes it'll be a short FMQ to plant a seed, and sometimes a longer one where we dive deep — with hypnosis, NLP, and all the good stuff that helps you change from the inside out.

But here's the thing… I can't do it on my own.

We all have our struggles, right? The things we keep bottled up because we don't want to seem weak, or we don't know who to talk to. I've seen too many people suffer in silence — and I don't want that to happen anymore.

So I'd love your help. Tell me what's really going on for you — or maybe for someone you know. What's the thing you or they are struggling with? And just as important — how would you like to feel instead?

That's where the real change begins. When you can imagine what it's like to feel better, to feel free, confident, peaceful — then we can start making that happen together.

Please share this message https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/help-me-make-a-difference/

You can email me (anonymously if you like) at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com

I'd be so grateful to hear from you.

Let's make this podcast something that doesn't just help you — but helps others too. Let's make it a real community of change.

Thanks for being here, for listening, and for being part of this.

Shine brightly, Paul

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Help me make a difference

Hi, how you doing? I don't think we ask that enough, do we? How are you doing? And mean it. Sometimes I think we have to ask at least three times to the same person. Really? How you doing? Really? How you doing? And what am I talking about? What am I talking about? Well, I'm going to change the format of the Personal Development Unplugged podcast.

For the last years and years and years and years and years, I've been cracking out two podcasts a week, five minute quickie and a longer version. And it's taken its toll a little bit because I find it really difficult to fit it all in. And my mind is that there's important things to talk about where we need to go into depth, find processes that really make a difference, approach the difficult subjects.

And I think to do that, I'm only going to do a weekly podcast. And one of those will be a seed, a five minute quickie still, but it'll be a seed for a longer podcast so I can get you to think. Think and get ready for something deeper.

But the whole point is I want to help people. I want to help people more than I've been doing. And to do that, again, I say we've got to approach these subjects, which are a little bit not taboo, but maybe they're not spoken about quite so much.

And I'm noticing it happening a bit more now. You know, guys opening up, being strong and saying they need help. Unfortunately, there's one or two that we've seen in the news that don't.

Damn, we miss them. It's too big a shame and we need to do something about it. And that's just not guys.

It's everyone. We all have our struggles. And sometimes these struggles can seem so much because they're all inside, aren't they? They're in our bloody head and we seem to think that we have to deal with them by ourselves because it's weak to tell anybody about it.

Or find the right person. Or I can't afford to get the therapy I need. I can't even admit I need therapy.

And that's no fucking good to anybody. So what I want to do is to get deeper into subjects. Take a little time to get things right.

I know. But I want to do deeper subjects with real deep hypnosis to get the unconscious mind to change. Because a lot of these issues that we have, they're in our bloody head.

And they're not caused consciously. You think about it consciously. But if you had created it consciously, you would change easily, effortlessly.

Just by thinking about it. Because you create things consciously, you change things consciously. But these are at an unconscious level.

They're like unconscious behaviours. That limiting belief, those emotions, those negative emotions. And although they're, well I believe they're there to protect us.

I just know there's better ways. And it's your unconscious mind needs guiding. It needs help to create change at the unconscious level.

Because this is where our issues are created. Something happens to us and our unconscious mind decides to help. Unfortunately, sometimes it doesn't.

It creates negative emotions. Has a limiting belief just to keep us safe. But then it carries on.

But that's where I'm going to need your help. Because we all have these issues. And I'd like you to, you can do it anonymously.

But just email me. Maybe if you want to email me. I'm on Instagram, Facebook, all those bloody places.

But email me would be better. And just give me an idea of the type of things that we're struggling with. Maybe a friend of yours who's struggling.

And you can just give me an idea of the things that are happening. And more importantly, and this is the thing and the thing what people forget. If we're talking about you or them, how you want to feel instead.

How they want to feel instead of having this issue. Because that's the most important thing. If we can just imagine that if everything disappeared.

All the issues were to disappear right now. How would I like to be? How would I like to be physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally? What type of beliefs would support me? And if you can pass it on to me, I'd be so indebted to you. So we can really make a difference.

And I want to make a difference. I know this small little podcast has made a difference to people. But I want to make a more significant difference to you and your friends.

So if that's something you could help with, please do let me know. And I'm sorry that I'm not going to do like two weekly podcasts anymore. But I want to get deeper as I say.

You know, some things I don't like the click baits that people are doing. I don't like all this, you know, easy ways to do this and that. We're going to change things and they are going to be easy.

But easy doesn't mean it doesn't take effort. It takes effort. It takes discipline.

And it takes a will to do whatever it takes. But if you know how you want to feel, then I know you will have that will to do whatever it takes. So let's please make a difference.

Please help me make a difference. So take a moment or two, just notice how you want to feel. And if you're not feeling that way, let me know.

Let me know what you're feeling and what you're not feeling. And let's start making a difference to you, to me. So I hope you're going to enjoy the things.

Please say, give me comments, feedback if we're going into the right directions. You know, there's so many different things we could talk about, but there is so much going on in the world that needs our mental help. Mental health needs support.

So let's do that together. Let's change the world together. Be the change you want to see in other people.

Show what is possible because it is. It's all possible. I've seen it so many times in the clinic that people coming in feeling so, so down.

And in one or two sessions, they change. And they change their lives and they change. And because they change, it's not a do to, it's a do with.

We work together. They change and that confidence spreads in so many different areas of their life. The whole life changes.

Everyone they know changes around them. Life gets so much better and life can always get a bit better, a little bit more better. So if this is something you feel you could help or help me with, I'd really love your help.

But disregarding that, I'm going to do it anyway. I'm just going to do what I can and hopefully you'll see a difference. And again, I always say if you could just share this with somebody, because the more this podcast gets out to just a few more people, a few more, because I'm only interested in hitting the people who need, who want the help, who need the help.

It's not about clicks. It's getting real good processes to make or to allow people to change, to guide people to change, get back to driving your bus, become the person you are meant to be and more. There you go.

That's this little, little thing that why I'm going to change the podcast. Hope you like it and sending my love to you. Okay.

Please enjoy. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly and run.

Be brave, my friend. Okay. Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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How To Make Sure You Get What You Want Ever feel like you're doing everything right toward your goals… and still somehow missing the mark? In this short and powerful 5-Minute Quickie, I'll get you thinking differently — about the real key to success. It's not about doing more, it's about choosing what really matters and owning it with absolute certainty.

You'll explore:

• Why most people get overwhelmed and give up on their goals.
• How to simplify your path by writing everything down and seeing it clearly.
• A sneak peek into the longer, deeper episode to come — complete with a hypnosis process to make success feel inevitable.

This FMQ is your seed for something bigger — a simple mindset shift that can change everything. Start now: write down what you truly want, rate what's most important, and get ready to make sure you actually get it.

Listen now. Think deeply. Then be ready for the next one.

And share with your friends:

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-518-how-to-make-sure-you-get-what-you-want

And as always the video link https://youtu.be/F4NUGealUYg

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

FMQ 518 How To Make Sure You Get What You Want

Okay, welcome back to the 5-Minute Quickie, the FMQ, or the Personal Development Unplugged podcast, with me, Paul. And today, on this episode, this shorter episode, it's all about getting what you want, and getting it more often, and even better than you want.

And this is, in effect, just for you to muse, to think a little bit, to get a little bit more curious, to begin to think of the things that you really want to have happen. Big goals, small goals, random. You could just list them out, all the different things you want, because I'm going to go through a process with you of making it easy.

But that's going to be on a deeper dive, a deeper dive with a longer episode, and probably there'll be a process contained in it, because I love my hypnosis, or NLP processes. So we'll find something that goes with it as well, so we make that longer podcast something of real, real benefit to you. But the thing is, how many have you, how, say another way, have you ever been on a goal-setting work, workshop, a goal-setting course, anything, online, in person? You see, I find so many people miss the mark on this, they miss the key, they miss the key of being able to get it, get your goal, because, and I'll tell you why, there's so much to do.

You forget how much in your life you have to do, you forget the overwhelming amount of steps along the way to achieve your goal. And when you do that, we tend to go, it's a bit like New Year's resolutions, we're just, they're just so much, so big. Sometimes we plod through them, sometimes we get to that plateau, and we just give up.

Sometimes we start to get that negative belief that I'm not good enough, I shouldn't be able to do that, who am I? Because it becomes difficult, overwhelming. There's so much to bloody do. And that's where I want to get this deeper dive going.

But in order to get there, I want to, I want you to begin to think, but before that, if there was an easier way, an easier way that, if that goal, that thing, the thing you desire, the things you want, is important to you, you would almost certainly guarantee success. That's what I'm going to, that's the process I'm bringing to you. It's almost certainly going to bring you that success.

Now you might say, well, okay, Cloughie, why almost bloody certainty? Certainly. Certainty. That's the word I think I'm looking for.

Because I want certainty. We all want certainty. And if I'm going to work on a bloody goal, I want an odds on chance of succeeding, especially in the past when I haven't.

So what's going to be so different? Well, the difference is you have to own it. And how do you own it? Well, you have to have this thing called the will to do whatever it takes. Because if you've got the will to do whatever it takes, we'll get there.

That's a guarantee. So it has to be important to you. And that's why I'm leaving this gap between this five-minute quickie and the longer podcast, because I want you to write down your goals.

And the way I do it is I write them all out. I write every bloody thing out, everything I can think of, all the different things I want. And then I might put them into like a length of duration.

Because this is a goal I might be looking for for the end of the year or a year's time. Some may be in six months, some may be in three months. You can see where I'm going.

Some may be a month. Yeah. Some may be the end of the week.

And I just put those down. Now, you can't do them all, which is a bit like that overwhelm. So we've got to pick a few that are important to us, because some of them, when you look at them, when you get them out your bloody head, because when they're on paper, you can see them better, literally see them better, because you haven't got all the other stuff getting in the way.

And you can start to analyse them in a way intuitively. Do I really want it? How important is that one? Well, this one's more important than that one. And start to rate them.

This is like a short term, this is medium term, and these are longer term. I'll just go through each section, which is probably the most important one. If I've got that short term, it would probably make the others easier, or it might even help the midterm ones.

And then you go through the midterm ones. So what's the most important one here? Because I'll be working a little bit longer on it. But which one would be the most important to me? Not any other bugger.

No peer pressure here. No pressure from the outside world at all. You know, all the things that people should be doing, could be doing.

No. What's important to you? So what's the most important? And just get the top three. And then the longer ones, exactly the same.

And just have a look at how important are they? Now, if you want, if you haven't listened to the last longer pod, or the episode, I call it a pod, the last longer episode, you might want to do that too. Because that's got a little bit of hypnosis in it. And it talks about how to get your mind and body connected to this goal.

And it gives you a real good feeling of why you want it. So it's like, instead of knowing your why, feel your why. And if you don't feel it, it ain't that important.

But when you feel it, you go, yeah, this is for me. So that's why I'd like to, over the next few days, just take five or 10 minutes each day, popping down all the goals you have all the dreams, you can add to them, remember, this is a moving target, short term, midterm, long term, and then put them in order of importance. Because you're going to work, what's the point of working on one which is the least important? Because that's what we tend to do.

Sometimes it's the easiest. You know, we tend to look for the easiest way. And what happens? We get, we don't get the best result in the world, do we? So think about this, do that.

And then when you've got them, on the longer podcast, we will dive deeper, because I've got some really, a really good way of making sure that you get the success, you don't give up. You don't just let it go. You don't see it disappear and go, oh, I wish I could have, if only I'd, no, because I've got a way to ensure that doesn't happen.

But you have to have that will to do whatever it takes. And the only way you get that is to realise how important it is to you. And you go, do you know what, that's mine.

I'm going to do that. Even you might want to think about what would be a belief that would support me in getting that goal. You know, there's so many good ones, you know, this is a good day.

I've got this. Oh yeah, but if you're a Navy SEAL, I'm not. You can tell by my physique and all that stuff.

I love, you know, I've got this. It's okay. I deserve this.

I'm gonna smash it. This is mine. They're the type of beliefs that I would have as a whole myriad that would go, come on, let's go.

I've got this. Okay, and then we'll get some attitudes and all that stuff. So have a little look, have a little play around with this over the next few days.

And then when the longer podcast comes out, you will be able to smash it. Okay, that's what we're going to do. Have fun.

If there's anything in between, or I'm going to put an announcement out shortly of the way my podcast episodes or the personal development unplugged podcast, the episodes within are going to change slightly. And it'll be open to you to help that change too. So is there anything you want to see, dive into, discover, create, let me know.

Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com, that's the email. Anyway, this is so important though. This is so important, this part here.

So please have a, get it out of your head, onto paper, get it midterm, short term, long term, whichever way you want it, most important. And then share this with your friends. And make sure you don't miss the next one, by the way.

So press that little swirl, press that subscribe button. You know, you can add a notification. I tend to take notifications off because they get on my nerves, keep popping up on the phone.

But I know as soon as I've subscribed, I'm going to look for the thing I want. Okay, so I'll be in a week's time. Okay, look for that.

And let's go. Have fun doing all of this. Go fly.

Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend.

Personal Development Unplugged

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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A Formula to Real Success with a hypnosis process included What if real success isn't about hustling harder but aligning your unconscious mind with what truly matters to you?

In this longer episode of Personal Development Unplugged, we dive into a simple yet powerful formula for achieving genuine success — the kind that feels right, deep inside. No fake positivity, no chasing someone else's version of "made it."

You'll discover:

• How to define success on your terms
• The unconscious blocks that quietly hold you back
• A step-by-step hypnosis process to rewire your beliefs and actions so they work for you, not against you

This isn't theory. It's a practical formula you can use right now to start living with purpose, confidence, and ease — and finally experience success that lasts.

Because when you and your unconscious mind are aligned, things start to click. Magic happens.

So… are you ready to find your own formula?

Listen now — and let's make real success your new normal.

As always, if you found value here, please share this episode, follow the podcast, and visit the free hypnosis page for even more deep change resources.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/466-a-formular-to-real-success/

Or watch the video here https://youtu.be/-Gy9JLi_NT8

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey, I just want to mention before we start this longer podcast that it does include a chunk of hypnosis, eyes closed, going deep inside to really get an unconscious understanding, learning of how you can achieve your dreams and goals and anything you want. So because of that, this is like a little warning.

Please, when you get to that point, if you have anything that needs your attention, press stop. And then you can come back to this this time, and then you can listen to it when it's appropriate, when you have nothing to do, nothing to take your attention, because this is hypnosis. But I would say, this is something for you.

And it'd be great for you to find that space, that time for you. So you can start to create the life you like, the life you dream of, and the life you deserve. Okay, so that's just a little pre thing that I just want to tell you about.

But now, let's get on. Hey, welcome to the longer podcast. And what we're doing today is moving on from FMQ 517, how to be successful.

And that was a muse, wasn't it? It was a seed, as it were, on thinking about not just having the positive mindset or the right mindset to achieve what you want. It was about the body set, whatever that is. That's what we're going to go.

And how the mind and the body is totally connected. And when they're not connected, how things tend to go a little bit out of kilter. And where our goals or the things we want our desires, our dreams tend to well go off the mark, we aim at slightly the wrong place.

And aiming off the wrong place means we go all over the place. And that gives us all sorts of things, you know, even limiting negative beliefs of, you know, upper failure, I shouldn't be here, I knew I couldn't do it. But the thing is, this is where we're going to change.

So what are we going to do? I want you to think of goals, but goals are basically everything that you do. Everything you do in the day is a goal, isn't it? I'm going to go here, it's a goal of going there, I'm going to go on a walk, it's a goal. So don't think of goals as being massive things.

It's just things that we aim to do. And it could be as simple as going to the gym, going to do this, going to do that, or maybe bigger than that, a project. Maybe it's, I don't know, but basically doing anything important.

Because if you're not doing things which are important, you're probably doing things which are urgent or unnecessary. And they're no good, because they just get in the way. So I'm going to talk about important things.

Because if we get important things done in life, life gets so rich, so good. Now, when you think of the things that you want to do, you probably know your why. Because they're what you want to do.

And it's that want, that desire means it's important to me. And whether you know the why in specific terms, if you do, that's really good to make sure there's not a clash in your values. But if you just get that feeling that it is important, really important, not ego driven, but it's important to you and your life.

Well, that's what we're going to go for. But think of some of the things that we're talking about. And I'm thinking of maybe some of the important things might be, maybe going to an interview, meeting somebody for the first time, maybe having a difficult conversation.

And it's really all about not just having that goal in mind, but it's how you behave. Behave mentally, behave physically. You know, are you aligned? Because if you're not, it's going to come across that way.

And when it comes across that you're misaligned, things just don't work, do they? Now, you could model somebody else. How does somebody else do this? And that's great. Modeling is the core of NLP.

It was modeled on some great hypnotists and therapists and modeling of processes. How people behaved and changed their behavior. But I don't want you to model just anybody.

I want you to model you and a special you, a special you, which is the you in the future. Yeah, you in the future. So, what would that be? What would that be? Question, question.

How would that you in the future that's successfully achieved what you wanted to achieve, and it could be in an hour's time, month, week, whatever. How would they be having successfully achieved that goal, that aim in mind, that ending, that thing, maybe that one interview, that special interview, meeting that one person. Maybe it's a project or maybe it's just being social, connecting, anything you're doing.

What would that future you, if you thought about it now, it's in the future. How would that future you be? Because that's where I want to go. Because when we know how our future you would act, behave, move physically, and you've got your why in the mind, things start to happen because you're aligned to the end of the goal.

So that's where I'm going. And I'm also gonna do it in a process here. So get ready for that.

This is something a little bit new. I want to go more into processes on this podcast. So just think for a moment, it could be anything, doesn't have to be huge.

But think of something that you want to have happen, that you are a part of, you are going to do. And what we're going to do is look at that future you, so you can have it with more certainty. So it becomes quicker.

It's better than you ever could imagine. And if you could, I want you to just bring that to mind for a moment. So just bring one of those things to mind, just one, because if we think of too many things, it just gets too general.

So I'd like you to bring one of those things to mind, specifically one thing you'd like to achieve, to do. And you know it's going to happen. No point in just having a goal.

There's no why there, is there? It's just a wish. And we're changing wishes into real things. So it doesn't matter if it's big, doesn't matter if it's small.

Just go through this process with me. And then if you do do a smaller thing, you can always come back. And then when you have that real big important goal, you know the process.

And then you can just let yourself go into that process and come back to this episode again. But let's have a little think. Let's consciously think first, because we're going to go to the unconscious mind shortly.

But let's consciously think, just for a moment. Imagine that thing, just imagine that thing, and it's been really successful. What does that feel like? What does that feel like, just being successful? Because you've achieved it.

Just to get that feeling for a moment, because feelings are important. Because the feeling is, in effect, the feeling of the wish fulfilled. Neville Goddard.

And that feeling of the wish fulfilled really makes sure you are aligned again to your why. Because if you get that feeling of having already completed it, successful, but it's still not right for you, then maybe you have to tweak that goal. But now you've got the mind, I really want you to get the body in.

The body in mind, if that makes sense. Because with the body, when we understand the body of the future you, with that why, that feeling of the wish fulfilled, we've got everything. And the process I'm going to do with you will even take that deeper.

But first, let's just go through it consciously. Just imagine. Imagine this.

Sometime in the future, just after completing that thing, you've just done it. It's been great. It's been successful.

You have knocked it out of the park. You've done whatever you needed to do. It's been better than you could ever imagine.

Just if you could see that future you, how would they move? How would they move? Would it be a movement that you could read confidence in, inner confidence, assurity? Just think about that for the moment. What about that future you's facial expression? Would it be smiling? Would there be a sparkle in the eyes? Would there be, you know, you get that look of inner confidence when you see somebody and you think, yeah, they've got it. Yeah.

How would you breathe? How is that future you breathing? With that successful feeling. Sometimes there could be a little bit of excitement there. And that's attached to, again, all this movement is attached to a belief.

Because you've done something. You've achieved it. You've got that wonderful positive belief about it.

You've got this. I've done this. What else can I do? What else can I achieve? And even all of that, that belief creates an energy in you.

So see that future you with that energy moving around. Yeah. Feels good, doesn't it? Even feels good from over here, looking at that future you, you can tend to get that sense.

But I want to go deeper with this. And if it's okay with you, if there's nothing that needs your attention, let's go into that process. So remember, this is sort of hypnosis, and it's got to be with eyes closed, because that just takes away any distractions of the world outside.

So you can really focus on the inside and what you want. So make sure there's nothing needing your attention. No one's going to disturb you.

So if you need to pause it for a moment, find that comfortable place, well, that'll be awesome. But just think for a moment. Yeah, just think for a moment.

And bring to mind, with your eyes open for a moment, bring to mind that thing that you'd like to have happen. It's your goal, your desire, that thing, that event that you would like a successful completion of. And just begin to imagine.

As you close your eyes, take a nice gentle deep breath. And as you breathe out long and slow, you begin to just breathe normally, and allowing yourself just to slip nicely into a comfortable space in your mind. Again, keeping that idea of the goal just in mind for the moment.

As you breathe in a way that allows you to get more and more comfortable, and maybe just have that feeling or sense of curiosity. Allow curiosity just to bubble around. Because this is the time to learn, to learn at the conscious level and unconscious level.

Now imagine as you get more and more comfortable, that's right. All the way down now. Bring to mind that goal again, that thing, that event that you want to have happen.

That one. And flow out into your future. All the way out.

Flow out into the future. Into a time. One minute.

Just one minute after that successful completion. Yeah, it's done. We've done it.

You've achieved it. So successful. And it was so so good.

So good. Just imagine it was so much better than you could have imagined back then. But now here you've done it.

You've achieved it with more than flying colors. It's been so good. And you've enjoyed every moment.

And as you do that, feel a sense that you can see that future you down there now. You can see them over there. Just over there.

Notice that future you having done it. Again, notice how they move. How are they moving? With ease? Notice the body.

The body in its wonderful way of walking, moving, sitting, whatever it is. Notice that air of inner confidence. So much that just seems to be there.

It's a nonverbal communication. That tells the world. I've done it.

I've done it. You have done it. So successful.

See your face. What's it look like? Is it smiling? Can you see the smile? Or is it keeping it inside? But you know, just by looking here, from here, you know that sense, that inner sense. Look at the eyes.

Notice a little sparkle in the eyes. And you can tell just by looking into your eyes how good it is. That's right.

Can you notice your breathing? Yeah. And if that future you was to speak, having successfully gone through this wonderful event, better than you could ever dream of, listen to the qualities of your voice. The tone, the speed, the confident way that you articulate.

Maybe it's an internal voice that you just understand. And as you do this, begin to float around this future you. To see yourself over there from all different perspectives.

So you may float above, in front, from the side. So you get a 360 view of you being the most successful you in this event. Wow.

What do you look like? And consciously you can notice these physical ways of being, but unconsciously, your unconscious mind can know even more. And as you do that, just taking a lovely breath in. And as you breathe out, just imagine yourself floating into this future you.

That's right. Inside this future you. What does it feel like to move this way? Feel those muscles.

The flexibility, the ease. The movement. Feel your muscles.

Oh wow. Feel your breath. How it just seems so good.

So connected with success. Looking through your eyes. See what you'll see.

How you see the world. Looking through the eyes of success. Listen to that inner voice of yours.

Noticing that wonderful positive belief that you have about yourself. Having done this so, so successfully. What are you saying to yourself right now? Yeah.

And as you do this, begin to feel the feelings of it all at once. Oh, so good. Your voice.

The physical movements. The feelings, the smells, the tastes. Allow all those senses to come into one.

The success. And as you do that, pick any finger and that thumb and squeeze them together gently. And as you squeeze them together with this wonderful feeling, imagine one word that truly represents this goal, this dream, this event, this successful completion.

And say it with your inner voice. Loud and proud as you squeeze that finger and thumb together. Because this is your anchor.

The anchor so you can have this feeling whenever you choose in the now. But for the moment, just begin to feel that feeling even more. Imagine you can intensify this feeling of everything.

Every bodily sensation is so wonderful. And it becomes more and more intense to squeeze that same finger and thumb together. Say that word, that one power word that truly represents everything about this.

And then just let them go gently. Because you can remember this for the future. And the now.

And then, say the immortal words that I love to say to myself, and to my unconscious mind, and to your unconscious mind. This or something better. Because you, the unconscious mind, can create an even better outcome.

A more aligned outcome. So there's wonderful new opportunities will come from this. Way beyond their conscious awareness.

And as you breathe gently, you can take one more wonderful in-breath. And as you let it out, you can just let go of everything and open your eyes back into the waking world. Because that's where we are.

We're back in the now. You were in the future and now you're back into the real world. So look around.

Touch yourself in a way that you can just say, yeah, this is me. This is me in the now. I'm back.

I'm back. And now, here's the thing. We've done the process.

We've talked consciously and unconsciously to ourselves. We've visualized consciously and unconsciously to ourselves. We've also created that wonderful anchor.

Remember that finger and thumb and that power word. We call it a power word, but it's a word that truly represents that feeling. Because I want to remind you, whenever you think of that goal, that dream, that desire, that one thing that you want to do, and it could be on a daily basis.

Every time you think of it, when it comes to mind, squeeze that same finger and thumb together. Fire off the anchor so you get all the feelings, all that wonderful, powerful, supportive belief that you have in yourself, everything about that, which will then interlink with the why, the mental mindset, positive mindset of all of this. So anytime you think about it, we can squeeze that finger and thumb together.

And when you begin the very first step of this project, this goal, this desire, this dream, we fire that anchor off. We say that word in our mind. And that will just get us into a wonderful feeling to give us some motivation because it reinforces the why.

It gives you so much motivation and your unconscious mind just knows you're going to get it. And so do you. And another thing, one more.

When you finish and do that final step, that one minute just after it's finished, fire that anchor off again. So you really reinforce it because you can use this anchor for other things too, because it feels so good. And if you just want to feel good, you say that word, squeeze that finger and thumb together.

Fire off the anchor. It becomes a powerful anchor for just feeling good. And how many times can you do this process? Probably just once.

No, you can do it whenever you like. The process is simple. The process is simple and simple just works.

And this is why I'm looking to do these podcasts now. I'm looking to sow the seed with a five minute quickie. So I'll get you to think of things, get things organised in your mind.

So when we come to the longer podcast, boom, we can go deeper and deeper and then create powerful results, not just general results, because that's what a lot of things happen with. There's so much stuff around, but I want to give you powerful processes. Powerful processes that you could use at any time.

You just need a little bit of space, not a long time, but just a little bit of space where you'll be undisturbed. Or I'll give you things to do that will create massive change in your life. And we can be really specific and be really detailed.

So I hope you like this way of working. If there's anything you would like me to do or like a subject that you'd like to dive deeper into or a process on, you know the thing to do, email me. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Simple as that.

Send that, get a reply from me personally, because it's my email, and we'll create a wonderful process somewhere. Or if I don't create it, I'll know of a process. And I can remind you in your unconscious mind how to get what you want, because that's what we're here for.

So look out for that. Have fun. Please do subscribe.

Because subscriptions are, well, that gives me the knowledge that people are really getting into this. It's my data, as it were. And also if you share it, because everyone, even if you know this stuff, knowing and doing is one thing, but most people know things.

And when you ask the question, how often do you do it? They go, not so much. So this is a reminder. It reminds me to do things, and it reminds you to do things.

Even the stuff we know. And if it's new, hey, you've just learned something brilliant. So please go and enjoy.

Share, do whatever, and have wonderful results. And if you want, you can let me know by emailing me that same email. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Email me your wonderful results.

Celebrate. And then I can celebrate with you. That would be awesome.

So have fun. Have more happiness than you can stand. More fun than you can stand.

I love that term. Enjoy. And you go fly.

Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly.

Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

How to Really Be Successful Ever heard people bang on about mindset — and thought, "Yeah, but what about the rest of me?" This Five-Minute Quickie goes beyond the buzzword. Because success isn't just in your head — it's in your body too.

In this short but mighty episode, we explore:

• Why mindset alone isn't enough — and what "body-set" really means
• How to align your physiology and psychology so your goals feel inevitable
• Simple ways to tap into your "future you" — breathing, posture, tone, gestures — to unlock real, embodied confidence

Cloughie breaks it down in his trademark way: fun, grounded, and totally usable. When you bring your body and mind into alignment, you don't have to fake success — you become it.

Takeaway: Success is a feeling you live, not just an idea you think. Act, move, and breathe like you've already achieved it — because that's how you'll get there quicker, bigger, and better.

Please share and see others grow too: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-517-how-to-really-be-successful

Oh! And there's a video of me recording this too https://youtu.be/NnGVNaRiabI

Got feedback, a question, or a win to share? Email: feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey, welcome to the five minute quickie where we're going to muse about something, muse about mindset. Muse against mindset because so many people talk about getting the right mindset, getting that super mindset. But what is the right mindset? And what about the body set? Body set, Paul? Yeah. You see, mind and body are connected, aren't they? And we're going to muse about this for the moment, just to give you an idea of where the mind and body have to come together. Because if you just have supposedly the right mindset and the body is not following, you've got a misalignment. You're not congruent. You'll even have, you know, some friction going on, some conflict going on. And we don't want conflict, do we? We want alignment. We want integrity. We want authenticity. We want every bloomin' word you can think of like that. So what am I thinking about? I'm thinking about goals, achieving your goals. And this is not goal setting. This is just thinking about, imagine this, imagine this. Imagine stepping into your goal. I'm not just noticing what it's like emotionally, because we talk about the feeling of the wish fulfilled, finding that feeling, feeling what it would be like in the goal, to have achieved the goal, the successful completion of the goal. But it's not just that, is it? I want you to know what it would be like physically, physically to have your goal. Because when you put the two together, you will be unstoppable. So if you were now just to flip into a goal, think about it. And you were to start to notice where you breathe. As if you're already succeeded, how would you breathe? You'd be moving, I guess, with someone of confidence, confidence in the way that, because you've achieved your goal. You'd be moving with your confidence. No one else is, we'll talk about that in a moment. You would be teaching, you would be moving with your confidence, the way you would be that confident. How would you be speaking? What's the tone of your voice? What's the speed of your voice? Everything about your voice, how would it be when you knew you succeeded? Now you're moving, you're speaking. In this episode, I just want to dive down a little deeply, not a little deeply, just a little bit into how your physiology can become the turbo boost for your success, aligning mind and body body and mind, so your goals feel inevitable, because it's all about getting it at the start of your goal. You see, we're not talking about modelling per se, modelling someone else, because I don't want to model somebody else's success. I can model their skills, but not their feeling of success. And although modelling was at the heart of NLP, and still is, I guess, I want you to just think about, muse about, modelling you from the future, the future you, the future you that already has this goal. So if you were to think about a goal, just for a moment, if you try to model yourself completely, it's like any modelling exercise, if you do it, try to model everything, it's just overwhelming, there's too many components. And to do the way I want you to do it, so you get success, is to do it in small compartments, break them down into compartments. So as we first spoke, what would your breathing be like? Would it be up here? Or would it be slower? I'm going to guess it might be a little bit slower, because you've just done it. You might be a little bit excited for doing it. But generally, as you think about it, you're going, yeah, this is me, I'm good. So maybe just think, if you were to go into the future, and I'm going to do this on a longer axis, a longer episode. We'll talk about that in a moment. But just think for the moment, how would you be breathing if you'd already succeeded in the goal, or the thing, your dream, your desire, anything you want? If you'd already got it, how do you breathe? So that's just one component. What about your speech? It's another component, just speech. Would it be fast or slow? Or would it go up and down and have a richness and a harmony in it? Would it have a little bit more depth to it, because you're confident in having just done what you're going to do, or you've done, and you start to look to the future of new things, because you have this inner confidence. What would the tonation be? What type of words would you use? Would you pause? Because you're confident, because you're thinking. And if you'd already got this goal, how would your gestures be? Would they be small? I'm not so sure. Or would they be a little bit bigger, a little bit just outside yourself? Showing yourself, would your chest just come out a little bit? What type of gestures would you have? Think about it. What about facial expressions? Because sometimes when we're pensive and we're thinking about stuff, but having got the goal, would you see the sparkle in your eyes, thinking of new things? Would you see a smile on your face, a colour in your cheeks? Would that, would those eyes be penetrating? I don't know. Just think of those for the moment, because if you want to accelerate your achievements and create new opportunities, if you want to accelerate the achievement of your goals, your dreams and desires, you need this part of the process, not just the good feelings. You definitely need those feelings. We call them the feelings of the wish fulfilled. We go out into the future, we feel what it would feel like when you've succeeded, when you have the goal, call it feeling of the wish fulfilled. But when you add to it, your physiology, you begin to get a psychology of excellence, of confidence, inner confidence. And it's all about you. This is your confidence and how you would express it. Now, we're going to dive deeper in this, right? Yeah, we are. You'll come with me, hopefully, and we'll dive deeper into this in a longer podcast, where I can get you to really go into the physiology. Maybe start to match it with the feelings and then put a hypnotic or hypnosis process in the mix. So we get your unconscious mind and your conscious mind to get fully aligned and remember what it would be like to have achieved the goal already and then act, be with all that confidence of success. And you know, when you have that type of confidence, there's nothing's going to stop you. You're going to get that goal. You're going to get that project. You're going to make that relationship. You're going to do whatever your desire is quicker, bigger and brighter. That's it. That's it. Please share this with everyone you can think of. And please subscribe because subscriptions are the only thing that really make me buzz. Yeah, clicks are nice, but subscriptions and having you listen to this and the odd feedback, not odd. But if you'd like to email me feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com, let me know how your life is going. Let me know if there's anything you need and I'd love to hear about your successes. Let's celebrate them together. Okay. Until that longer podcast, just have a muse. What are the type of things or how would you be physically when you achieve your goals? Okay. Think of them individually and have fun. Bye bye now. Time to fly. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

How Do I Get Results How often do you find yourself hearing the same advice again and again—through podcasts, books, conversations, or even a random TikTok—and thinking “I know this already…” but then quietly adding “…but I’m not doing it.”

That’s exactly what this episode is about.

I’ll share with you:

• Why repetition matters (and why advice keeps showing up until you take action).
• The real secret to results: showing up, doing the reps, and letting go of perfection.
• How “practice makes permanent,” not perfect.
• Why intention and consistency beat intensity every single time.
• A simple way to choose one thing that could change everything in your life.

This isn’t about waiting for motivation. It’s about turning up, committing to the process, and making deposits in your “success bank.” Some days will feel great, others won’t—but both move you forward.

At the end, I’ll even share how you can use my free hypnosis resources to build confidence, consistency, and unstoppable momentum.

Listen in—then ask yourself: what’s the one thing you’ll commit to showing up for over the next 10 days?

and share the hell out of this episode https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/465-how-do-i-get-results/

👉 And if you’d like to go deeper, or if something’s blocking you (fear, doubt, past experiences), email me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

#465 How Do I Get Results

Hey, welcome back to a longer episode, but it's not going to be that long. It's not going to be that long because it's just going to be about a question to you.

A bit more than a question, and maybe an odd swear word. I let them slip occasionally. As you see, this is a longer podcast, where we're going to muse a little bit this time.

It's like a longer five minute quickie. Because the question I have for you is, do you ever experience this type of thing? Being reminded of the things that you either know about already, or reminded about the things you're not doing, or continue to hear that same advice that you're not taking. And it comes in different places, different forms.

And if you took that advice, if you did it, it would make a world of difference. And the type of things I'm thinking about is, you know, you could be listening to a podcast, and you hear something, and you go, well, I know that. But in brackets, and you don't say it to yourself too much, but I'm not doing it.

And then you listen to another podcast a little bit later on, a different one. And there's the same type of message. And then you might read a book.

And you go, damn, it's repeating. And then something else comes along. Or someone in conversation says something.

Or you see one of those ribbon old things on TikTok, which drive me mad. And you go, it's the same advice over and over again. And I get it, you see, I get it.

Sometimes we need it. You see, I know that I share stuff in different ways. And it has a very similar message.

The core theme is the same. And every time I say it, I say it slightly different, or differently. And I know that we need sometimes to hear it two, three, maybe four times until it oodles its way in.

Because it will, it'll stick eventually, because we need it. But sometimes we're just not there. But the thing is, when you notice it, man, we have to take notice, because we've noticed it.

So this is me sharing with you. This has been knocking at my door, which I needed to get. Why? Why did I need to get it? Because I was getting down.

I was getting down. I was getting moody, a little bit frustrated. Because I wasn't actually doing the things I knew, and know, I wanted to be doing.

And it's just weird, really, you have these things in your mind, that I have them in my puzzle book. These are the things I want to do. I know they're a value.

But sometimes they just slip away. Maybe I don't remind myself, maybe I don't feel just in the right place. I don't know.

But if I did it, it would make a difference. And I heard this particular thing, in different versions, as I said, in different podcasts, different people, different things. I've even got different things going in my life with different people.

And they were like, these look, this bit of advice kept coming through. And what was it? What was it? You see this thing about not doing the stuff I want. And, you know, I wanted to be excited about doing it.

I want to be doing this. But sometimes the advice is, just do the reps, Paul. Just turn up, turn up, and just be consistent.

You know, and here's a swear word, fuck perfection. Because, you know, if you're like me, I go to the gym. And because I've got this app, and I've got this guy who comes and tells me what to do every other day, and I've got to report back to him, I turn up.

Sometimes I don't like it. Sometimes I do. But I turn up and I do the reps.

And if I can be consistent, I know when I look back, certainly when I come out of the gym, I go, wow, I feel good now. But when I look back over the week or the fortnight, I go, well, yeah, that's, you know, I've paid money into the bank, I've made a deposit, as it were, on that particular thing. That was my fitness bank.

Didn't like it. I wasn't up for it. So some days, this is what I got.

Some days, when you don't feel like it, you just got to say, fuck it and turn up. Got to show up and do the reps, just do it. And some days, I realise, they won't all go well, they won't all be perfect.

But if you think about it, there is no such thing as perfection. You can't get it because there's always something you can do a little bit better. But if you can show up, you can do the reps.

That, to me, is a form of perfection. Because it's showing the consistency, and it's showing that you're determined. And I think your unconscious mind goes, okay, now I get it.

You're prepared to push through this stuff to get there. Even when you do the thing, and you go, oh, that just wasn't as good as I planned. It really wasn't.

But the thing is when you stop and go, well, actually, no, but I did it. I went through it. And the things that didn't work well, I can learn from, can't I? I can learn from them.

And I can set my stall. The learning can only be to visualise how I want it to be next time. And what is it all about? It's not about imperfection.

It's not about the intensity you put into it. It's intention and consistency. That's all it is.

Years and years and years, a million years ago, when I got into this stuff, and I was listening to Tony Robbins, and this is years ago, it really is, when he used to do 30 days on cassette tapes. He used to listen to them in my car. And all he used to say was, repetition is a mother of skill.

And I listened to it. Didn't think much of it. But now I get it.

All those years later now, all these years later, I get it. Repetition is a mother of skill. And to repeat things, you have to show up.

You have to do the reps, repetition, consistency, and the intention just to do the work. And if your intention is to do your best, it's your best on the day. You see, practice does not make perfection.

Practice does not make perfect. It makes permanent. And once you get up, and just remember, when we used to do NLP trainings, we always used to use the phrase, get it in the muscle.

And I think, shit, I've been talking about this for bloody donkey's years. Get it in the muscle. How do you get in the muscle? You show up consistently with intention and do the reps.

And the thing is, when you do that, there'll be great days. Because you're showing up. But you've also put money in the bank.

You've put a deposit towards the great days. And when you do look back, you're going to go, I've actually grown. Some of those days that weren't so good, have helped me grow.

Because I got confidence of pushing through that. Because if I can push through the crappy days, man, I can really enjoy. And when you look back, of having done those reps, showed up, you'll see that you smashed it.

You will. So think now, just think now, maybe, just before I go, because I told you it was a shorter, longer podcast. It's like a midway, I don't know what you call one of those.

Just something I wanted to share with you. One of the things now that you're not doing, that you know, if you did them, over a period of time, it would add to the richness of your life, add to the quality, add to your skill set, add to new opportunities, add to creating the best version of yourself. And I know, I would do this, I would write, because I do, I write these things down.

And I just look at them. And I know I can't do them all. You can have them all.

It's another thing I heard. You can have them all, but not right now. Not, and I say right now, because you can't have them all together.

Because that's overwhelming. That's why you're not doing it. So you look at those and you go, well, it's the old question, what would, if I only had one of those, if I could only choose one of those, what would be the one thing, the one thing I chose, that would make the difference in my life.

The most profound difference, the most magical difference. Pick it, schedule it, commit to it, and turn up. Put it in your diary, turn up and do the reps, like perfection, as I said.

Initially, it's turning up consistently with the intention to do your best. And when you get that, that'll turn into a habit. But also the confidence you get from that, you'll be able to pick the next one and the next one.

And in the end, you'll find that you are getting them all. Because it all started with that, just doing the one thing, show up, show up and be your best self. It's all you can do on the day.

But sometimes we forget how good our best self could be. Sometimes we forget to set our intention. And sometimes we let ourselves off the hook by not showing up.

From now, you pick that one and that's a no-no. No putting things off, no excuses. You turn up, you do the reps, and then you get on with your life.

And I guarantee you, the old cluffy personal development guarantee, when you look back, say in maybe just 10 days time, because everybody can do something for 10 days. You look back in 10 days time, you'll notice that the money that you put into the bank, the money you deposited, the stuff that you put in now, will start to show its fruits right now in 10 days. I know it will.

I'd love to hear in 10 days time what you did and how much it's affected your life and what you're doing with that. But I'd also like to hear if you go, yeah, Paul, this is absolutely awesome. I understand it.

But I need a bit of help because there's a blockage. There's something holding me back. Maybe there's a fear.

Maybe, something in the past. If you're really good enough to do this, if you have a fear of actually achieving this, or a fear of failure. It's all in your head, by the way.

And we'll get it out of your head. So if you do have something like that, please email me that too. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. And we'll get both.

I just want to hear the good stuff so I can celebrate it at another longer podcast or a little five minute quick or whatever. I just want to celebrate with you. But I also want to be able to produce things that will allow you to let go of the shackles that are holding you back to run and enjoy life.

So please do that. As usual, there must be something that you know in here would be of use to a friend of yours, a colleague, someone you know, someone in the family. Please share it.

Share it verbally. Because when you share it verbally, you get to learn it a bit more. But do tell them, come on, sign up.

Listen to the podcast. Send them the link. Takes two seconds.

There's that little share thing. Click, share, boom. You've done it.

This is great. Have a listen. You'll learn something new.

And then you can have more fun than you can stand because you're creating a change in the life and you will never, never, never, never know how far the ripples of change will go because that one person might change their life completely and then begin to change other people's lives. And you are doing the most wonderful thing for the world and every human being in it. Big stuff, eh? Big stuff from a little thing.

Okay, you have more fun than you can stand and go do all that stuff. I'll see you next time in the shorter podcast and the longer ones. But just before you go.

We all need time to de-stress, don't we? We all need that space. Everyone needs space. Our own place of personal retreat.

And going to retreats are great. But if you can't, why not have one in your mind? You know, if you don't go to that special place, that stress just builds and builds and builds. But if you have a place in your mind where you can go and de-stress, work out problems, think of all the wonderful things that you'll be able to do.

The wonderful feelings. So that's why I've created this program of four hypnosis tracks to build and be and have your own inner retreat. You can have whatever you like in that inner retreat.

There could be rooms, there could be libraries, healing rooms, different lighting, maybe a fire in the corner, a special chair, maybe incense, anything that you choose. Some people have a computer that stores all the memories you've ever had, that library of everything you've ever read or everything you ever need to know. Maybe a healing room, a room where you can just go to and have your own inner healing or own inner relaxation.

So what have I done? I've created these four tracks. One to build, one to extend it whenever you need to extend it, and then to be able to go there for a particular period of time or even a longer period of time. So you've got two tracks of just going and being in that special place where you can take a problem with you, maybe muse it over in that special place, or you can leave it there, leave it to incubate in your unconscious mind.

So when you come back, you can just have the answers come, or they might just come consciously. It's all there for you. All you have to do is go to poolclubonline.com forward slash retreat, have a look, give you a nice little video there, just see if it's for you.

I think it's a lovely little program. There's nothing to lose because there's a 30-day money-back guarantee. It's a lovely program and I think it was one I wanted to do for myself because I just thought it's just a wonderful thing to do.

I love retreats, but hey, this is your own personal one. Have a look. Enjoy.

Until the next time, my friend, you go fly. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly and run.

Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

Acting As If Without The Fake Welcome back to another Five Minute Quickie!

You’ve probably heard the phrase “fake it till you make it”—but let’s be honest, it feels like a lie, doesn’t it? That’s because it is. When you try to copy someone else—how they walk, talk, or behave—you’re not acting as if, you’re acting as them. And deep down, you know it. You can’t fool yourself.

So what’s the real power behind acting as if? It’s stepping into the version of you who has already achieved your goal. Not pretending, not faking—just allowing that future you to live in the present. That’s when you tap into the physiology and psychology of success.

In this short FMQ, I’ll share why “acting as if” works, why faking never does, and how to make it real so you can accelerate your goals, your dreams, and your enjoyment of the journey. 🚀

Why not share it with a friend

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-516-acting-as-if-without-the-fake

Have thoughts or questions about this? Email me: feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Welcome back to amusing, a five minute quick amusing. Acting as if, but acting as if without fake, because it sometimes feels a fake and I'm going to tell you why it feels a fake, and how to make it real, real. You see, acting as if is one of the most powerful, I mean it, the real most powerful ways of achieving your goals.

To achieve your goals, not only to achieve them, but to achieve them quicker, bigger, better, and enjoy them. Because there's one thing about getting what you want, it's enjoying the journey, enjoying the adventure. Becoming who you really are in that adventure, in the journey, not just the start and the end.

And if you want to get ahead of the others, get ahead of the game, be in that top percentile that achieves their goals, above and beyond, quicker than anybody else, then acting as if is a thing. And I'm going to tell you now why it feels fake. You see, if you try copying somebody, copying their mannerisms, the way they speak, the way they move, as a copy, it's not you.

It's them, and you're not bloody them. And it will feel fake, because you cannot fool yourself. You know, in effect, you're lying to yourself when you're trying to act that way.

Because it's like acting like them, not acting as if. It's copying, and you're not a copy. Yes, you can model people, modeling is a different thing, it's a different art, it's not copying.

Modeling is getting into someone's mind and noticing the strategies they use, and then using the strategy, not just a copy. And that's why it feels like fake, because you're lying to yourself. But the thing is, how do you act as if? Well, I'm going to dive deeper into this again in a longer podcast, because I know it's so important.

And yes, Cloughie, you can say you've done it before, and I'll do it again, and I'll keep doing it, because the more I do it, the more I get better at explaining it, and the more, well, it'll be different every time. There'll be nuances, and you'll get it differently. Every time you listen to it, you'll learn a little bit more, because that's what happens.

But acting as if is how you would behave if you'd already achieved your goal. And that's the thing. It's how you would be.

So you're acting as if you've already got it, not acting as if you're somebody bloody else. So that would be then acting as if you're you, but just in the future. So bringing that future you who's achieved that goal into the present.

And that means you'll achieve your goal better, because you've already feel that you've got it. You'll be using the physiology, psychology of excellence of achieving that goal. Simple as that.

So we're going to dive deeper again, how we're going to do it, what we're going to do, and how to make sure that, you know, faking, faking, I hate the word fake. You know, fake it till you make it. It's a lie.

It's a lie, it doesn't bloody work. But if you want the power of acting as if to achieve your goals, to do your best, to be the best version of yourself, to create the life that you really want, you know, just imagine this. If you have this goal out there that you really want, and you're going to wait till the end to feel it, what a waste of time.

Why can't you have that feeling all the way through? Because that's the feeling that you want, and you're telling your unconscious mind exactly how you want to be. And that's how the speed comes, how you accelerate your goals, accelerate your dreams, and accelerate your achievements. There you go.

Calm down, Cloughie, calm down. Well, take a breath. Just take a little breath, and just think, well, that's what we're going to dive into on a longer podcast.

If, I always say this, if there's anything that, that comes up when you listen to this and you think about it, and you go, ooh, that feels a little bit, let me know what it is. Email me, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com, and I'll make sure that I can add things into it and create a little bit of a space for you to create a process that will allow you to be your best. Okay? Enjoy.

Go fly. And share this episode before you fly, as you fly. I'll see you in the longer podcast.

Ta-ra. But first. We all need time to de-stress, don't we? We all need that space.

Everyone needs space. Our own place of personal retreat. And going to retreats are great.

But if you can't, why not have one in your mind? You know, if you don't go to that special place, that stress just builds and builds and builds. But if you have a place in your mind where you can go and de-stress, work out problems, think of all the wonderful things that you'll be able to do. The wonderful feelings.

So that's why I've created this program of four hypnosis tracks to build and be and have your own inner retreat. You can have whatever you like in that inner retreat. There can be rooms, there can be libraries, healing rooms, different lighting, maybe a fire in the corner, a special chair, maybe incense, anything that you choose.

Some people have a computer that stores all the memories you've ever had. That library of everything you've ever read or everything you ever need to know. Maybe a healing room, a room where you can just go to and have your own inner healing or own inner relaxation.

So what have I done? I've created these four tracks. One to build, one to extend it whenever you need to extend it, and then to be able to go there for a particular period of time or even a longer period of time. So you've got two tracks of just going and being in that special place where you can take a problem with you, maybe muse it over in that special place, or you can leave it there.

Leave it to incubate in your own conscious mind so when you come back, well, you can just have the answers come, or they might just come consciously. It's all there for you. All you have to do is go to portcloughonline.com forward slash retreat, have a look, give you a nice little video there, just see if it's for you.

I think it's a lovely little program. There's nothing to lose because there's a 30-day money-back guarantee. It's a lovely program, and I think it was one I wanted to do for myself because I just thought it's such a wonderful thing to do.

I love retreats, but hey, this is your own personal one. Have a look, enjoy. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough.

It's time to fly in the air. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

No Regrets - Just Do It -Here's How Have you ever caught yourself holding back, waiting for the “perfect” moment, and later felt that sting of regret? The truth is, regret weighs far more heavily than failure ever could. Failure teaches you something. Regret leaves you stuck, wondering “what if?”

In this longer episode of Personal Development Unplugged, I take you deep into how to break free from hesitation, silence that self-doubt, and finally step forward with courage. This isn’t about recklessness — it’s about learning how to live boldly, make choices you’re proud of, and stop letting fear dictate your life.

You’ll discover:

• Why regret is heavier than failure (and how to free yourself from it)
• Simple mindset shifts to move from hesitation to momentum
• The one question that reframes fear and unlocks action
• A step-by-step hypnosis process to help you just do it — so you don’t just think about change, you actually experience it

This is more than a conversation — it’s an opportunity to work with your unconscious mind, shift your patterns, and take meaningful action today.

If you’ve ever said “I wish I had…” then this episode is for you. Share it with someone who needs that nudge forward, and don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode packed with practical tools, mindset shifts, and powerful processes.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/464-no-regrets-just-do-it-heres-how

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

So welcome back. Longer podcast, yeah? With me, Paul.

And no regrets. No regrets. Have you had regrets? I think we've all had regrets about not doing things.

Have you had this though? When you have this belief, I believe I'm not good enough. I don't belong here. I'm bloody stupid.

What else? Because I think we've all had those negative beliefs, or sometimes we call them limiting beliefs because they do bloody limit us, don't they? What other limiting, negative beliefs do you have? And if you want to really think about it, I know you do, think of things that you've wanted to do but you swerved them. You didn't take that step, you backed away. Think of one of those.

Don't do them all at once because you'll be overwhelmed. But just think of one thing that you wanted to do and you didn't do it. You swerved it, you made an excuse.

What did that feel like? And to get to that feeling, you know, remember that time just as you were making that decision. You were choosing not to do something. And see yourself there.

And just notice the voice in your head. What were you saying to yourself? You know, was it things like, ah, you're never going to make it. I shouldn't be here.

I don't belong. And that old chestnut, because I'm not, well, I'm just not good enough. Well, there's that other one I've heard a lot now.

And I think of myself sometimes. No, I'm too stupid. Can't do it.

Shouldn't be here. What did it feel like? When you hear those words inside, what does it feel like? Yeah, because it does, doesn't it? It doesn't feel good at all. When we think about it now.

And what we try to do, I guess, I know I'm talking about me, but I guess. We can try to justify it, can't we? Because, you know, who am I? Who am I to do this bloody thing? You know, who do you think you are? Go on, Cloughie, who do you think you are? You won't be good enough. You certainly don't belong there.

People will look down at you, you know, and you're going to look and feel stupid. And then you're going to get that feeling of failure and all that stuff. I'm going through one of mine now.

And we justify it, that it's the right decision. Who are you feeling? Feeling? Fooling. Fooling.

Who are you fooling? You can make all those justifications to other people, and it might seem right, but you don't fool you. I didn't fool me. I didn't fool me.

I keep getting that wrong. I didn't fool me at all. You see, it's still there.

See, I was going to go on a workshop, and it was a workshop in Dublin. I mean, I live in the UK, right down in the south of England. And this was last year.

And I really wanted to do this workshop. But I made every excuse under the sun to justify why I was going to swerve it. Oh, it's so far away.

So far away. You know, you don't know anyone there, Paul. You'll be completely on your own.

And you know you don't like being on your own. Actually, I do though, don't I? You're an introvert. Yeah, so that's another reason.

But I'm not always an introvert. Let's just think about the things I told myself. It's too different.

And it's too difficult to get there. It's such a long way away. All in the expense.

You know, I know you can afford it, Cloughie, but it's too much to spend on yourself. You know, who are you to spend this time, money on yourself? And when you get there, I know you won't be good enough. Because you know, you're going to want to be able to be really, really good.

So you won't be good enough. Therefore, I'll be a failure. And then I will look stupid.

I'll be out of my depth. And you know what, I made myself feel so fucking awful. So awful about it.

I just didn't go. But inside. But inside, there was still that little yearning, even though I justified it to myself.

I knew I wasn't fooling myself. But I did. I did feel it.

And I fooled other people. Because they thought some of my excuses were justified. And that made me feel a little bit better.

Not a lot. Because I'd fooled them. But deep inside, I hadn't really fooled myself.

So what experiences have you had like that? Because I think we've all had it somewhere, aren't we? We've all had this thing that we've yearned to do. Yet we talk ourselves out of it. And we make these wonderful, wonderful excuses.

And there was a regret. There's a feeling of regret. Of a wasted opportunity, maybe.

So what can we do? That's a bit down, wasn't it? And I was down. I was down. And I brushed it off.

But deep in the back of my mind, I just knew. I knew I hadn't done the right thing. But what could I do about that? Well, I had to think about it.

I had to think. And I thought, well, there's got to be a way. Because these things are there to not challenge us, but to excite us.

To allow us to learn. So I had to think, well, what can I do to think about it in a different way? So I just thought, well, this is just thinking. I'm not going to actually do anything.

So let's just think about it. What would be an opposite belief? That if I had it, this opposite belief, I'd have made a different decision. And it's not just changing I'm stupid to I'm absolutely awesome and things like that.

Although I am. But it's things like, I deserve it. That would be a belief that would be opposite, wouldn't it? I deserve this.

I want to think about it. I've done this type of things before. I've done things that I knew nothing about.

25, 26 years ago. Going to learn hypnosis. Going to trainers training.

I didn't know anybody there. I've learned other skills that I had no idea about. So I've done these type of things before.

Okay, they might not be every day of the week, but I've been able to learn them. What's another belief we have, or could have, that I get my words right, that's the opposite? Well, we all start at beginner's level, don't we? Because even the very best of whatever you're thinking of doing, those people started with nothing. Yeah, some people have maybe a natural affinity, but they still start with nothing, even before that.

And they worked their way up. What's another thing? Another belief I can think about? Well, people are generally kind. The things I've done where I've known nothing about it at all, people have been kind and supportive.

And they may have been the odd one. The odd one who, you know, who wasn't like that. And what would be the belief to have about them? Well, fuck them.

They're not my friend. They're not going to be my friend, because they're not that type of person who's going to support me and be kind, because I want to be kind and supportive. So I just want to attract those type of people in my life.

And when I have done, man, it's made such a difference. And what would my expectations be? What would they be for something like this, something new? What would it be? Well, if my expectation is not to be the best, not to do that, what would be the opposite? What expectations would excite me? Well, what about just go and have some fun? You've had fun before. And if your only expectation is to have fun and learn, learn something new.

Learn it from people who know what they're doing. And those other kind and supportive people, because you always find people who can do it in that group, and they will teach you. They'll bring you along.

They'll take you under your wing. And there'll be stuff that you know that you could help support them too. Even if it's only going to get them a cup of coffee.

So an expectation just to learn and have some fun doing it. You've done that before, haven't you, Cloughie? Yeah, I've done that. And what else? Well, this would create a foundation of some kind, wouldn't it? The stuff you've learned before, you've gone on to do good things.

Or it's those things have led you into different areas of learning, of expertise, of finding good stuff to do. Yeah. Now, the other thing is, I might find I don't like it.

And if I find it, I like it. Good. I don't have to think about it anymore.

Because I've tried it, which is a hell of a good thing to do. I can celebrate having tried it and find out I didn't like it. So that's cool.

But I'll have learned some skills along the way. And I know they're going to be transferable. But what would happen if I found I really did like it? And that curiosity, I found something that is maybe my passion.

Well, I didn't know about. Because 25 years ago, I didn't know anything about hypnosis at all, NLP. And it's been a passion of mine for 25 years.

And I knew fuck all about it when I first started. Nothing at all. Yeah, it's gripped me, taken me to different places in the world, met different people.

I just had a boom with it. What would it be if it was like that? Whoa. So think of your time.

Because that was me. That is literally me. That's what happened.

I started to think this way. I'll tell you what happened in a minute. But I want you to begin to think about that thing you'd like to do.

Not the thing. Oh, yeah, maybe the thing you swerved and there's an opportunity to do it again. Or there's something that you're thinking of doing.

And you got that niggling down. You know, I'm not good enough. I don't belong.

I'm stupid. I can't do all that stuff. But this time, use your imagination.

Because in our imagination, our imagineering, it doesn't matter whether it's right or wrong, because it's just in your mind. And also, by the way, all other crap is just in your mind. And that's trying to protect you from, you know, from making a fool of yourself.

But how can you make a fool of yourself when you're having fun and you're learning and you're creating a new foundation, you're finding new experiences, you're meeting new people, you might just find your passion. So just think of maybe just for the moment, let's do it together. Think of that thing you'd like to do.

And if it's okay, and make sure that no one needs your attention, because we're going to go into a sort of trancy type thing. So probably with eyes closed. Just make sure no one needs your attention.

And you can spend this time just on you. You're not driving, you're not using machinery, whatever that means. And no one needs your attention.

You've got this time to yourself. Maybe you'd make sure you'd be undisturbed just for the next few minutes, it's not going to be a long time. Because I want you to bring that thing to mind in your imagination now, and maybe just close your eyes.

And as you close your eyes, you can take a wonderful deep breath, just for the count of four. Hold it for the count of four. And then let it go nice and gently, just for the count of eight.

And as you breathe out, you can just begin to breathe normally now. Maybe making every in-breath more gentle than the one before. That's right.

Maybe wondering what it would be like to feel two times, three times more comfortable than you are right now. What would that feel like? And also, maybe just remember a time when you were so curious to find something new. And with that feeling of curiosity, bring to mind that thing you'd like to do.

That somewhere inside there's that little spark. That's right. And begin to think of the beliefs that would support you, if you were to choose to do it.

Because it's your choice. What would those beliefs be? Things like, well, I really do deserve this. Where have I done things like this before? Because we've all done this before.

Think about the times when you've learned something brand new, and you've thought, wow. Knowing that we all start off at the beginning. Even the best of us.

And as you think about that, just think about all the people who have supported you in different ways. Maybe finding now new people, new friends, new peers. That's right.

And as you think about those beliefs, and those people who will be around you, begin to think of, well, what are my expectations of doing this? And what would be a good expectation? Because it won't be to excel and be the best. Because it's new. So what would be a great expectation to have? Well, if I can just expect to have fun.

Just to have fun and learn. Learn something new. That would be a great expectation.

If you came away from that thing that you want to do, that you've learned something, and you had fun learning too. Because that would mean you're creating that foundation. Foundation for other things.

You see, even if you didn't like it. If it wasn't your thing. But you've gone through it.

It won't be wasted. Because you'll have learned some skills along the way. And if you were to get so curious of how you could use those skills in different areas of your life.

Even that confidence of actually doing the thing that in the past you were unconfident of doing. That confidence would spread into so many different areas of your life. You were learning.

That it's okay. Okay to step out of your comfort zone. To step out of your familiar zone and create something new.

A new experience. So if my expectation is just to create a new experience for myself and learn along the way. And maybe if you were so curious and wondered what would happen if this was to become my passion that I didn't know about.

But now I'm so, I would be so passionate about it. I could take it into all areas of my life and develop it in such a way. Maybe you can remember times when you've done things like that before.

And as you think about that. Just think of having fun. Learning.

Creating new experiences. Becoming more and more confident in yourself. Knowing that you deserve it.

Because you can learn. Begin to notice how you would be when it's all, well when you've finished and you're moving on with your life. Having had that experience.

Notice how you would see the world differently. The voice in your head would be so much different wouldn't it? That little seed of confidence beginning to grow. Because you've nurtured it.

You've fed it. And those beliefs of I'm not good enough. I don't belong.

I'm stupid. Would be banished wouldn't they? They wouldn't exist. You'd have knocked them out of the park.

They'd have gone. You could have the smell and taste of success. And as you imagine seeing you having already done it now.

Feel the feelings of what it would be like. Just feel it now. Feel as we call it the feeling of the wish fulfilled.

But knowing. This is possible. All you have to do is choose.

Maybe just say the words fuck it I'm doing it anyway. That's right. And just imagine all the new opportunities that'll come your way right now.

Even by just doing this process. And then you can begin to notice. What would you have to do right now when you open your eyes and you finish listening to this podcast? What would you have to do right now the first step to begin to create that experience? What's that first step? And just note it in your mind.

Keeping that picture of seeing yourself having already got it. There you go. And when you're ready you can open your eyes come back to me.

Make a little note maybe of that first step. You always come back to this by the way. And reinforce it.

Just note it. So many minutes we're in. And just reinforce and redo.

Reimagine. Because the more you do it the stronger and bigger and brighter it'll get. And what would it feel like to have no regrets? Hey that's exciting isn't it? That's exciting.

You see going back to me. It's all about me. No it isn't all about me.

But it is a bit about me. That course I didn't do where I convinced myself and others it was such a good thing not to do. But deep inside there was that little burning thing inside me that I really wanted to do it but I had that regret.

Well guess what? There's another one. There's another course. Another workshop.

With the same person. And it's next month. And guess what? I'm on that bloody course.

I'm doing it. And it's completely completely outside my familiar comfort zone. And I don't fucking care.

Because I'm going to have fun. I'm going to learn. I'm going to meet new people.

And I know they're going to be better at it than me. And that means I'm going to learn even more. And maybe just maybe I might find that passion.

There you go. So maybe maybe I'll tell you how it all went when I come back. But that's in a few weeks time.

You see to recap everything about this course. You can't fool yourself. You bloody can't.

As much as you try to convince yourself that you're right you know you're wrong. And you know it. But if you change that into excitement and curiosity.

Thinking that this is just an adventure. An experience to learn. That's what it's all about isn't it? That's why you're here in personal development.

To just step out. And it's just a bit outside that comfort zone that familiar zone that will make things so much different. And your confidence in doing that will spread.

It won't just spread in that one particular area. It will infect and affect every area of your life. Your confidence will grow.

Your curiosity will grow. Your skill set will grow. Your successes will grow.

And you'll begin to dream even bigger dreams. And that's what we're here for. To support you dreaming.

And not only dreaming but taking action on those dreams. And creating a life of no regret. Just do it.

I hope that's inspired you. I do hope that's inspired you. I'm inspired to do these things myself.

And I've even started thinking even having not done this already. What else can I do? Going back to my little plans and my icky guy stuff of all the things I want to do to create passion in my life. And I think you'll get the same.

And if there's anything in that that you go oh I'm still not sure Paul. Email me feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com and we'll crack that out. Because I want you to succeed in your dreams.

More than you can believe. More than you can expect. More than you desire.

So you can be overwhelmed with wonderfulness. If that's a word. And create a life that you were put on this bloody earth to do.

To live. So do that. Email me feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com and share this if you would.

Because we all have things that we put off and have regrets. We don't tell anybody about them by the way do we? We keep them quiet. I've never told this all this about to anybody.

And now I've told you. But again I'm only telling you because I believe it will help you. And it helps me to get it out there.

Get it out of my head. To know what I'm doing. So please share this with anybody and everybody.

If you only shared it with two people it would be awesome. Maybe they'll listen to the podcast. They'll subscribe like you have done.

And more people will get to to live their dreams. There you go. So go wallow.

Wallow in the wonderful curiosity and excitement of your adventure of life. Because it's time to fly. Bye bye.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

How To Consistently Do Your Best How often do you really do your best? Honestly?

In this short 5-minute quickie, we dive into a simple but powerful way to consistently show up at your best — without pressure, without overthinking. It’s all about the magic of the pause.

Just a few seconds between tasks can reset your focus, break negative carry-over from the last thing you did, and set the intention for doing your best on the next.

You’ll learn:

• Why your “best” should be your baseline, not an exception
• How a 2-second pause can change the quality of your whole day
• The role of feelings and intention in achieving your personal best
• A quick reflection practice to avoid carrying stress from one task into another

It’s not about constant improvement. It’s about consistency. And when you do this, life feels better, easier, and more rewarding.

Give it a try today — and share this with someone who could use a reminder to hit their best more often.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-515-how-to-consistently-do-your-best

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey, welcome back to the five minute quickie, Amuse. Amuse, just for five minutes.

On today, how can you, me, constantly do our best? Consistently do our best. Constantly, consistently, both the same. Got to do our best.

I was thinking about it. I was journaling about it. Because I looked back over yesterday and realized, yeah, I didn't quite do my best.

And it's not the, can I? Constant and never-ending improvement, which means doing better than your best. But it means just doing your best. Because we can't, or we could, we could always do 1% more.

But if nothing else, surely our best should be the bottom line, the minimum bar. We should be able to get above that. We certainly should hit it more times than enough.

And then when I was looking back, I looked back over yesterday, didn't quite do it. Didn't quite do it. Some things I did, and some things I didn't.

And I bet if you just looked over your day, say yesterday, did you do your best on everything you did? Bloody difficult, isn't it? It is bloody difficult. So what do we do? What do we do? It's how to think. How to think.

So I want to know how I can do my best through the day. Because the day is split up into little compartments, isn't it? Each one is a different thing. We're doing different things.

We've got different aims, different goals for each one. So how are we going to do it? How are we going to remember? Because I think we need something like a pattern interrupt. And what's one of those? Well, you interrupt the pattern.

And the pattern is, we just flow sometimes from one to the other. You know, I'm doing something, and then I just go into the next thing. And when you go into the next thing, it's as if you're not thinking.

You think you're thinking, but you're not really thinking. That makes sense, doesn't it? It does. So what can you do? Well, I think it's like meditating for two seconds.

It's the magic of the pause. Yeah, I talk about pause so many times, and it is a magical thing when you do it. And the pause doesn't have to be long.

I talk about pausing, you know, for a couple of minutes, three minutes to see the beauty of the world, to listen to hear everything, be present in the moment. But all I'm thinking of now is a two second pause, or one second pause to go, I finished what I've done. Am I happy? Can I be grateful of what I've done? Did I do my best? If I never did, what can I learn? And then, you know, you take another breath.

And then you think, now what am I going to do? What do I want to do? And how good do I want to do it? Set the bar. What is your best? So you don't flow from one to the other and let things just, you know, because sometimes when you do a shitty job, and you go to the next one, you've got to break it, haven't you? Because if not, you just take that shittiness with you. So we break it with a two second pause, maybe slightly longer than two seconds, isn't it? Maybe four or five.

But we can all spend that. So when we finish, it's just about going, I finished. Did I do my best? Can I learn from this? Can I take it further? Do I need to just spend a little bit more time to reassess what I've done? Or am I happy where I am? And then move on.

And it's also a time to celebrate. A mini celebration, say, well, you know, I'm moving on, I've done that thing. And I'm now going to celebrate doing the next.

And I can make a note about it. But the thing is, it's that thing about setting your intention on that next one. What is my goal? What is my desire? What do I want out of this? But you could just spend a second to say, well, how do I want to feel doing this next thing? Because if you can get the feeling right, the feeling of doing your best, what would it feel like if you did your best? Think about it now.

Because you listen to this, and you're doing something and just stop for a moment and go, how do I want to feel when I've completed this at my best? How do I want to feel and feel that? And then move through that section of your day. Try it. I know it works.

But just because I know it works, I want you to know it works. And the only way you'll know it works is by doing the bloody thing, taking action. It's not about the knowing, it's about the doing.

And when you do it, and then you know, you know it's the right thing to do. And we've only wasted, if you call it wasted, four to five seconds of our time. But I guarantee you, if you do that, the next hour or so, half an hour, whatever you're doing will turn out better.

So it's not wasted, is it? In fact, you're investing in yourself by remembering, re-reminding yourself of what your best is. What is that minimum bar that we're going to set ourselves? It's like a personal best, because we should be able to hit so close to our personal best all the time, because we've done it before. And if you've done it before, you can do it again.

But the only reason you can do it again is because you set your intention to do that by going, how do I want to feel? What do I want? Let's break the pattern of the last one to the next one, next thing we're doing. Hope that really made sense. I really do.

I do. If there's something that's stopping you, though, I want to dive deeply into this, by the way. The five minute quickies are always like amusing to get me to think of something for a longer podcast so we can use processes and hypnosis and all that stuff.

But if there's something you go, it makes sense, Paul, but I can't bloody do it. Something's stopping. Maybe there's a negative emotion when I think about this particular type of thing.

Maybe there's a context in your days that you go, well, the rest of the day is great, but this one thing, I get this anxiety or I get this FOMO or I get this imposter syndrome or I get, you know, a sadness, a grief or an emotion I can't even bloody explain. Send me an email, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com and then I can make sure I can add that into the longer podcast. So I tend to leave like a couple of weeks between the five minute quickie and then the longer muse.

So if you listen to this, send me that email. It doesn't take a second, but it does. And do your best in that email.

And if there's something you think you could share with somebody, if you think it's, there's a little nugget in here that you'd like everyone else to remind themselves to do their best because it would make the world a wonderful place if we're all trying to do our best, wouldn't it? Even if we don't actually make it, when we strive to do our best, you're going to get there more times than enough, aren't you? Yeah. Anyway, do that. Please share.

And I'll see you in the longer podcast. Go muse. Go muse.

And then go fly. See ya. So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe.

It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people. And we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them. And this will help, help the podcast.

It will help you and it will help, well, everyone that you know. So if you can just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you blooming well know. That's the only cost.

Pay it forward to everyone. And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet earth of ours and the people in it. But let's make a good world.

A nice world. Okay. Okay.

You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough.

It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

How to achieve your Dreams and Goals Want real results — not hype? In this episode of Personal Development Unplugged Paul Clough shows you how to move from wishful thinking to action that works. We dig into practical goal-setting, the feeling of the wish fulfilled, how to use your mind (RAS + visualization), and small, actionable steps that create momentum. Expect NLP-informed tips, a short guided hypnosis process to embed success in your unconscious, and direct coaching you can use today.

Key takeaways

• Define success specifically: the clearer the goal, the faster the result.
• Use feeling of the wish fulfilled + physiology + inner dialogue to “act as if.”
• Employ the Reticular Activating System—focus your mind and notice opportunities.
• Build micro-steps (tiny wins) and schedule regular reviews to stay on track.
• Align goals with your values — ensure they’re ecological (good for you, others, planet).
• Quick practical guided hypnosis included — make this a daily habit.

Share with one person who needs permission to step up today. Have more fun than you can stand.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/463-how-to-achieve-your-dreams-and-goals

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Diving deeper into success A little while ago I did a 5 minute quickie Amuse, that smaller episode And that was called Spicing up Success And I said then, I promised I would do a longer or deeper dive Getting more specific And then do a process A little bit of hypnosis So you can put it into Into your unconscious mind Because When you get it in the unconscious mind You are doing it just right Really are So Question Have you ever heard Or seen this? Someone saying And it's generally on social media Oh, I'm living the dream And they write underneath the pictures You know, I'm living the dream Yeah, I'm doing all of this You know what? You're bloody not, you're not living the dream We know you're not living the dream You're fudging it, you're faking it Because It's all about Being honest True All that stuff, and when people are doing that On social media, they're not They're trying to pretend You know, and that doesn't do anything for anybody Does it? Doesn't do anything for anybody So, I don't want you to Say you're Oops, say you're living the dream I want you to Live the adventure The adventure of being successful Success, whatever that means to you It's got to be The feeling of success Because if you think about it It doesn't matter what you do If you have the feeling of success Man, you're being Bloody successful, aren't you? You're being successful, and that's all I want So, the thing about success is We need to define What you want So, what is Success to you? What is success to you? Is it something like a goal? What type of goal? You want to achieve something? What do you particularly, specifically Specificity What do you want to achieve? Maybe, you know, we think sometimes It's something really, really Really big But it's not, is it? It doesn't have to be big It could be your health It could be something you're learning It could be Maybe going on holiday Because if you have a successful holiday You have cracked it, haven't you? Maybe it's Just being a bit more social Maybe you want to develop yourself In a way that you could be more social Or you want to communicate better Maybe you want to be a better presenter Maybe you want to get on better with your career Maybe You're getting on With your colleagues at work Whatever it is for you Is what it is for you Okay? So it's your stuff But what it isn't, and we've said this before On a number of podcasts Success isn't I don't want to be anxious anymore I don't want to be Unconfident anymore I don't want OCD anymore I don't want depression anymore I don't want to feel I'm missing out anymore I don't want to feel that social anxiety Or you know, whatever Because as soon as I said each one of those You thought of the bloody thing Even though I said I don't want So your dream Your goal Whatever you want to achieve Whatever you want to be successful at It wants to be in the positive, yeah? Because it's a capital S It's for success They're your dreams, no one else's So please Think What do I specifically want? And make sure Make sure It's specifically for you No one else Because you can't wait For other people Before you get your dream You have to do it for yourself Now what we do when we check in our dreams, our goals, our desires What we want, we have to make sure It's ecological And in the NLP world Hypnosis world It's good for me Good for everyone else And good for little old planet earth So it doesn't harm little old planet earth It doesn't harm Anybody else around you And it's not just good for you because I'd be selfish Wouldn't it? No, this is ecological And the thing is We have to start with the mind Your mind Because that's where this process is And we've talked about on a previous podcast A previous longer podcast I think only the last one Was how to have the mindset of success Well this is like Taking it even deeper than that So maybe if you look Go back and listen to that If you haven't listened to it already It's all about writing out what you want Because you need to know You need to know what you want When you want it Who you want it with You know, all the things What opportunities, but here's the thing We're going to imagine it now Because Some people might say I find it difficult To think about Getting this Maybe I've got a limiting belief I don't give a shit about your limiting belief at the moment Because what we're going to do is Use our imagination And when it's in our imagination it doesn't even matter Whether it's going to happen or not Because it's just In our imagination Okay So just imagine the hell out of this Go overboard When I say Exactly the way you want it Just imagine it Because if you could just imagine Well it's in my imagination and I can't possibly fail When I imagine the way I want it If it's not real Then I can have what I want So I want you to take a moment Just for a moment, just to see it See it just a little bit See what you want See what that one thing That will make you successful And you can do this over and over again You really can But pick that one thing That's just for you And begin to Just For the moment Imagine having it Imagine having it now Because I want you to We're going deeper from the last episode Because I want you to imagine again Having it now And if you did What would it feel like Having achieved it That feeling of the wish fulfilled Neville Goddard, bless his soul He came up with this wonderful thing Living by the wish fulfilled Which is a little bit like that acting as if But it is, when you act as if you have Already achieved that goal You have that feeling of the wish fulfilled Things just happen And they happen in a good positive way There's so many different things And there's also things like the reticulating Activating system which I'll talk to you about In a minute I'll give you a hint where I've talked about it Because it was only last week Last episode So Here's the thing, just keep imagining For the moment What it is you really want Okay Now when you do that It's pretty good isn't it Because it's just The imagination, having Exactly what you want, so imagine Whether it is being healthy Being able to learn a skill But not just learn the skill, to do the skill Because it's no good just learning It's the doing Being able to behave In the way that you've learned To use those skills And becoming really healthy Maybe there's again that relationship Becoming so wonderful And there's all types of different Relationships isn't there, you can have relationships With Your colleagues at work Your friends, all that stuff Just Allow yourself to Just think of That'll be so good Now Here's the thing Because this is what's going to happen This is what's going to happen This is why I did the previous 5 minute quickie I think it's 5.14 Or 5.12, something like that, I don't know It's an FMQ Just a couple of episodes or an episode ago You see when you learn something new All of a sudden You begin to see It or Similar things to it I do a relationship Process That when we think about the people We would like to have relationships with Or the type of people And we get so deeply into it What happens is In the waking world The people that you used to see They've always been there The people that aren't part of that The qualities of the relationship you're looking for They just seem to disappear They're still there but they're not in your focus of attention But people who do Match those values, the behaviours And things that you like They seem to come out But they've always been there Because it's that thing called the reticulating activating system It's how your mind focuses On what you want And that's why we don't That's why we don't talk about negatives We talk about what you want We don't want to focus on the things you don't want We want to focus on the things you do want So check out that little Five minute quickie to really understand that too Because that's the process We're going to use, we're going to get your unconscious mind To really work On getting This success And then you can repeat it You just keep repeating it over and over again Not this particular process but you can But offer the same process For different goals, dreams And desires okay Because that's all I'm going to do So let's use that With our dreams Our goals Whatever you defined as The successful things that you wanted to do Okay And we're going to use That plus That feeling of the wish fulfilled but we're going to get there shortly That doesn't come until later On this particular process We're going to get your unconscious mind To learn something even better first So when you have that And you have that feeling of the wish fulfilled You can act as if You've already achieved it which will also Then get your unconscious mind to use It's reticulating activating system The RAS Biological to focus on the things you want And just let the other stuff So it doesn't distract you Basically okay So here's the thing I want to do it now So if You have anything That needs your attention Then Pause this Pause the play And come back to it when you've got time Because it's going to mean closing your eyes Because it's going to be set A little bit hypnotic So it's going to have your eyes closed And we're going to really focus on what you want And go through this process I'll also probably do it as a deeper hypnosis Process again Just as I've done in other episodes But for now If it's okay with you and no one Needs your attention You've got this nice quiet place Find a quiet place where you'll be undisturbed Get your old earbuds in or whatever it is And Then we'll begin So find that lovely Place And then just take a lovely In-breath with me Hold it for a moment and then just let it out And as you let it out You can Feel yourself drifting inside With every breath And as you breathe out That feeling of Breathing out just takes you a little bit deeper too Deeper And deeper And as you do this just imagine What it would be like To have the muscles around your eyes Getting so so soft So soft That they just want to be So relaxed Right now And as you breathe out Every breath out now Allows that feeling of relaxation Feeling of ease To Just go through every cell of your body You may even Ask yourself What would it be like If I was And be three times more Relaxed right now There And as you do that I want you even with your Eyes closed to Just have your eyeballs as If you were looking slightly to the right And just upward Slightly to the right as if there was a A movie screen Just up Above your eye Yeah And in that movie screen You're going to see somebody Who looks a little bit like you Yeah There's a you out there on that screen And that you out there Is going to go through a process And when you are totally happy You consciously Unconsciously are happy With what you see on that screen Then will allow it to integrate Into your unconscious mind Even deeper still So Just notice that you Over there Is thinking About that Thing that you want to be Successful That specific thing Just notice that So choose that That area of your life that you Want to be successful And the context And be really specific In that context So even if it's in the area of health Relationships, skills and learnings Being social Being more confident Being more Outgoing, being more connected And things like that Just allow yourself To bring that to mind and have that you bring it to mind So they know Exactly where they're going And as that you Over there Really understands Now What you want for you On that you Just see That other you beginning to Take those small steps Towards Achieving that goal That's right Those small steps But the thing is As that you out there Is taking those small steps Towards that goal Notice that other you Also holds the big picture In mind The big picture of having Already achieved the goal So That other you over there Has the feeling of the wish fulfilled And is Acting Acting as if They've already got it So notice how they behave Their movements, their physiology You might even Be able to notice How they breathe Look at the Focus Of attention they have in their eyes How determined They are You could probably imagine from here What wonderful positive Belief or set of beliefs Does that you over there have That supports him, her Them All the way through From the beginning of this adventure To the end And the thing is about this adventure It's not the start, it's not the finish It's who you become As you go through the adventure And notice That you over there on that screen Maybe coming to Some little bumps along the way Maybe Things that just begin to give it Maybe there's a little problem A little thing that needs addressing Notice how that you Gets over it, around it Maybe calls for advice But always Hold that big picture in mind Because nothing is going to stop them Derail them From getting the success You they deserve Notice how they hold themselves To their highest values Nothing less than this Is acceptable Highest value And that wonderful belief That you've got this You deserve this And then notice That you over there Imagining And also getting The benefits Of already having this now They've achieved that dream, that goal of yours Notice the benefits that they have The things they've learnt even more The opportunities Maybe you can't see them completely But you just know All the opportunities That come your way Having achieved this goal Having put the effort in That's right And just notice Everything about that you Over there And when You notice that everything about that you Over there is totally The way you want it It even gets you from here You can feel the feeling of success And you're going to feel it even more in a moment Just imagine Maybe just floating out into that you And that you Then floating out into that That screen And just noticing What it feels like To have the feeling of the wish fulfilled To breathe, to move To have that wonderful belief And the feeling of success Along the way Every step of the way Is successful Even when you have to Surmount a few problems, issues They're just little challenges Nothing is going to get you down Nothing is going to stop you Because you are so determined Because you know This is right for you You deserve this And when you know it's just right Because you can make a few adjustments to that feeling right now When you know it's just right Just come back into your body now So you're back into your body And then just see A mist Slowly coming in front of that you over there Because that mist is now Integrating all the things That that you over there has learnt Holding the big picture Doing the small steps Having the wonderful set of beliefs Finding all the skills Finding all the skills they need To achieve that success Holding that feeling of the wish fulfilled And acting as if And as that mist begins to just disappear again You see that you over there Fully integrated with all those learnings And that you over there will now Come into you That's right Coming into you So your unconscious mind now can learn And take on And integrate All these wonderful things That you can adapt And adopt And create the future Now Right now That you want You can take on The physiology and psychology Of excellence Of success And you can do it more than just this once You can do it so many times You can utilise the skills of all of this In other areas of your life Allow it to generalise into different areas of your life So you can be successful all the way Knowing everything about this Is right for you And allow that Fully to integrate To the unconscious level And as it's integrating to your unconscious mind Find your best friend I want you to feel that feeling again The feeling of already Having got this dream This goal This desire Feel it so intensely Just the feeling So that can merge Into everything Your unconscious mind is doing For you right now And just take a moment or two To allow it to all come together Maybe you'll take a nice in-breath And as you breathe out Feel it all coming together That's right Just allow it all coming together And as you do that I want you to take another Lovely in-breath That's right And now You just imagine There's a lovely cold shower Bathing the backs of your eyes Your head, your shoulders, your body Everything is Absolutely wonderful Absolutely wonderful Feeling alive Refreshed, ready to face the world And open your eyes and feel so good So good So good So now you can take a nice little stretch Move around a little bit maybe But now I want you to think of that goal And when you do I want you to think of What are the things I'm going to do now Let's take that feeling And start to get that goal Okay So let's do that now I hope you enjoyed that I hope you enjoyed that What I may do as I said I may take this process And put it into an even deeper Hypnotic pattern Or hypnotic track So you can go really deep into it And when I do I'll give you a little note And you can go to Paulcloughonline.com Forward slash podcast And you get all the free hypnosis With my compliments And that will be one of them So you can practice This and having success whenever you want Because practice does not make perfect By the way, practice makes Permanent and I want you to have Permanent success So you live and dream And oooh success So not only for you, for everyone around you You are the example Of what can be done You are acting the change That you want to see in you And others And it's good for the whole planet earth Because you'll never know how far the ripples of change Will go when you get this result And more So much more So you go and be so successful And as you do that Please share this process, please share This episode, please share the podcast Just share If you just share it with one person If everybody just shared this with one person I'd be a happy little bunny And that's only one person You can probably share it with more than one So everyone gets Their foot, gets their feet Wet in success Yeah, that would be awesome Wouldn't it If there's anything that you want to know Or if there's anything that Maybe just still holds you back a little bit Let me know, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com That's the email address Send me a few notes, a little bit of What's happening And we'll come up with something for you Because that's what I love to do Okay So Until the next time I think that's what I was trying to say Until the next time You go fly and have more success Than you can stand Okay I'll see you next time my friend Go fly

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]

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Understanding Focus: The RAS Have you ever noticed that once you buy a new car, suddenly that model seems to be everywhere? Or you hear a new word and then it pops up all the time? That’s not magic – it’s your Reticular Activating System (RAS) at work.

In this Five Minute Quickie, I’m breaking down the RAS in plain English. It’s the part of your brain that decides what to notice – and it’s powered by emotion. The good news? You can train it to look for opportunities, positivity, and success. The bad news? If you’re stuck in negative emotions, it will keep showing you reasons to stay stuck.

So let’s flip the switch. Learn how to focus on what serves you rather than what drags you down. Because when you understand your RAS, you can use it to fuel your goals, dreams, and everyday happiness.

And keep listening – in the next longer episode I’ll guide you through a process (with a bit of hypnosis) to help your unconscious mind focus deeply on what you truly want.

You could start by focusing on sharing. Here is a link to this episode

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-514-understanding-focus-the-ras

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Have you ever noticed that when you buy something, say for example a car, or another way, you hear a word that you think, do you know what, that is a brilliant word. I love that word.

Or there's somebody you start, you hear and you go, oh, that's a, they're really, really, a really good person. So interesting. And then suddenly the whole world is full of that, those cars that you thought was so special.

That word that you thought was so interesting. That person seems to be everywhere. But where the bloody hell were they just a little while ago? You see, there's a thing called the reticulating activating system.

And I want to put that into plain English because it's a natural phenomena that we use, your body uses to notice things, focus on things. And the thing is, because you're in an emotional state, when you buy that car, you feel so good. You hear that word, oh, it's so interesting.

Or that person was so, so captivating. You're in an emotional state and your unconscious mind and your reticulating activating system, or some people just call it RAS, A-R-S, looks for it because you're in that emotional state, thinks it's good. But also here's the downside.

Here's the downside. If you're in a negative state, you're feeling down, feeling depressed. You're feeling, I don't know, fear of missing out, FOMO.

You've got that social anxiety. You know, you've got imposter syndrome, any, you feel in the bloody bank. I'll say that again.

And I'll even still swear again. You feel in the bloody blank. What happens? You start to see issues, that issue, every bloody where.

It's as if your whole life is full of those issues, but it isn't. It isn't. It's just this reticulating activating system, because you're emotional.

It's focusing on what you're focusing on. Now we can use it though. We can use it because now you know, now you know what's happening.

Now you can start to think about different things. If you start to have and think about different emotions, say positive emotions, highly charged positive emotions, we can get your mind and your brain and your focus to start focusing and looking for those type of opportunities, those events that would give you that feeling. So I want you to be able to learn how to focus your attention, have your brain, your mind focus on what works for you and not against you.

And it isn't against you, by the way. It's not, you know, that's the way it was defined for me once. And it's not doing it against you.

It's trying to do something positive for you, either to protect you. And generally, that's 99.9999% of what your unconscious mind is doing. It's using this to protect you.

Look at this, look at this, be wary. You know, I don't feel good enough. I believe I'm not good enough.

Therefore, I'm going to protect you by having this feeling so you don't put yourself out there. But the thing is, while you're thinking about it all the time in this negative state, you're seeing everything that makes you feel not good enough. Whereas if you could just put that to one side, you begin to see everything else which is there in the world.

Everything which is good, which is opportunity, which makes you feel good. But at the moment, you've still got it. So this is what we're going to do.

I just wanted to explain this on this five minute quickie, because on the next longer podcast, I'm doing a deeper dive from a previous FMQ where we tried to, well, we didn't try, we spiced up success. But I gave you again a musing about that. I want to dive deeper into it and create a process for you to be able to really get the feelings and the focus of what you desire.

So your desires could be your goals, your dreams, or just what you want to get rid of, what you want to change in your life. So it can be goals and desires, dreams, or it could be just your issue that you want to get rid of. And we get your unconscious mind to then start focusing on what you want, and the opportunities that will give you what you want.

So if you're interested in that, I bet you are, that's why you're here. Have a listen to the longer podcast, which comes out in a couple of days time or a few So you can start with a process and maybe hypnosis as well. So that would be awesome.

And you never know, I might throw that one again, remix it again and throw that into the big dollop of hypnosis tracks I've already got. Okay, where do you get those? You know, pawcluffonline.com forward slash podcast, go there, get access to them all. So we're going to do that.

So I just wanted to say explain something in plain bloody English, hope I have. So you can understand why sometimes you tend to see the same of everything. And sometimes if it's negatively charged, why you tend to see the world as being a negative place to be and it's not.

We're just not focusing on the right things. So to focus on the good things, focus on me, focus on the Personal Development Unplugged podcast, share the bloody thing, do everything you can. Let's have the most successful life we can dream of and live it.

Okay. So until the next time, my friend, we're going to do it. Remember that longer podcast with a lovely, lovely process in it.

Enjoy. I'll see you real soon. So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe.

It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people. And we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them. And this will help, help the podcast.

It will help you and it will help everyone that you know. So if you could just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you know. That's the only cost, pay it forward to everyone.

And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet earth of ours and the people in it. Let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay.

Okay. You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning.

You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend.

Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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How To Achieve and Have the Mindset of Success We hear it everywhere: “You need the mindset of success.” But what does that actually mean? And more importantly — how do you get it?

In this episode of the Personal Development Unplugged podcast, I’ll take you beyond the vague definitions and straight into a practical process you can use right now. We’ll cut through the fluff and create a real mindset of success — one where your mind and body are fully aligned toward a specific goal.

You’ll discover how to:

• Get ultra clear and specific about what you really want (not what you don’t want).
• Write it down in a way that seeds your unconscious mind.
• Identify the empowering beliefs that fuel your success.
• Step into the physiology and psychology of having already achieved your dream.
• Anchor it all with a simple word that triggers your success state whenever you need it.

This isn’t about “thinking positive.” It’s about aligning your thoughts, feelings, and actions so you naturally move toward your goals.

By the end of this episode, you’ll not only understand what the mindset of success is — you’ll have it.

Key Takeaway: Success isn’t vague — it’s specific. Write it down, embody it, and live it.

Key Takeaways (bullet points) * Success without specificity is meaningless — define exactly what you want. * Writing your goals down engages your unconscious mind and makes them real. * Shift from “I don’t want X” to “I want Y” to avoid reinforcing negatives. * Empowering beliefs like “I’ve got this” or “I deserve this” fuel motivation. * Visualisation plus physiology creates a success state you can step into now. * Anchor your mindset with a single word to trigger confidence and focus anytime.

Your Call to Action * Share this episode with someone who’s chasing a dream but needs a success boost.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/462-how-to-achieve-and-have-the-mindset-of-success

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

The mindset of success. What is that? What is that mindset of success? Do you know? I don't.

I do. You see, people talk about it, don't they? Talk about this mindset of success. But do they ever explain exactly what it is? And more importantly, do they explain how to get it? You know, just think of success.

Go on, do it now. Do it now. Think of having a mindset of success.

Did that inspire you to go and do something? I didn't think so. Because it's too bloody vague. Have you ever looked at the definition of success? It's pretty vague too.

Here's one. One. It said, success is the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.

How is that motivating? How is that a mindset of success? If that's the definition of success. There's another one, by the way. And I got to move something just to read it too.

It says the satisfaction of tangible accomplishments. Bloody hell. Tangible accomplishments.

Is that something that buzzes you? Is it really? Does it buzz you at all? I didn't think so. So let's just stay with this because it's quite obvious really, when you think about it, if everything is so bloody vague and therefore general, you're only going to get a general mindset of general success, which is absolutely pish all, isn't it? Nothing. So I want to go through one of my versions, because there's never just one, is there? You know, we can manipulate and morph and do all sorts of things with different processes.

But this is the one that came to my mind. I wanted to go through it with you. So it's the mindset of success with some other stuff as well, because I want to make it happen for you.

And how do I do that? I want to include the mind and the body. Mind, body aligned to a special and specific result. Yeah, mind, body aligned to a special, specific, listen to the word, specific result.

Because if you aim for a specific result, that's what we're going to get. And our aim now, my intention is to formulate that mindset of success. But specifically, so let's repeat it.

Just before we get into the real nitty gritty. It's the mind and body aligned to a specific result. So before anything, anything that you and I need to do, we need to be specific about the goal that we want, the thing that we want, our goal, our desire, our dream.

So be specific. But here's the thing people do when they're specific, they could be so specific in what they don't want. Thinking, I'm being so positive, Paul, because I don't want to be anxious anymore.

I don't want to be unconfident. I don't want to be, I don't know, fear of missing out of anything. I don't want to have that anxiety.

I don't want to have whatever. And you see, when you say to yourself, I don't want unconfidence. The first thing that comes into your mind is all the pictures of being unconfident, the feeling of being unconfident.

When you say to yourself, I don't want to be anxious anymore. There's only one thing you think of is anxious. Because your unconscious mind doesn't really process its negatives very well.

It's that thing like don't think of a blue tree or an elephant in the room or whatever. Because the first thing you do is what room? What tree? I told you not to think about it, but you did. And guess what? Don't think of it again.

He got me. Unless you're trained not to. So it's all about knowing what you really want.

And to do that, you have to write the bloody thing down. Remember, writing the bloody thing down really, really works. So as you can see, the camera didn't work that time.

I guess I didn't press the right button. But anyway, I'll press it right now. So you got to write that bloody thing down.

Because when you write things down, it means more to you, you have to think about it, that internal voice of yours, you have to visualise things. Because what you're visualising is that you're beginning to visualise what you want, because you're thinking about what I want. And specifically, exactly.

Where do you want it? With whom do you want it? When do you want it? What exactly is it? What context? All of that. And when you write it down, you're sowing the seed. And we're going to need this later.

So that's why I want you to write down because you're going to have to refer to it. So take a little bit of time, take time out. You can just pause now if you wish.

Because when you do this, you're able to start thinking of, well, what were the possibilities that come my way from having already got this? So you go to the end of your dream, end of your goal, having got it, what will it enable me to do? So you're now getting the add-ons, not just the end of the goal, but what that goal is going to bring to your life. Now we're getting really specific. So we're getting specific, the where, the who, you know, what skills have I got to do it? How do I specifically want to be? In what specific context? And when I'm like that, what will it enable me to do? So do write that down, please do write it down.

Now, if you knew, and if you know now that this is totally possible, no shadow of a doubt. So you know now that it's totally possible, no shadow of a doubt, no ifs, no buts. What is the belief that you would have and have to have to achieve that goal? Think about it now, what would it be? Maybe something like, I don't know, I've got this.

I deserve this. I'm good enough for this. This is so right for me, I can do this.

Simple, supportive belief. But when you think about a belief, and you're thinking about specifically what you want, and you think of a belief that I've got this because I deserve it. It starts to feel empowering, doesn't it? There seems to be energy in it.

Think about it just for a moment. So as you take that time to write down what you specifically want, and then as you start to just imagine just a little bit, you say, well, what is that belief, that lifting, motivating belief, positive belief that I would have to have while doing this goal, achieving this goal? And write that sucker down. And when you write it down, feel the energy of it.

Feel the energy, say the words inside, and say them how you would be saying them. I've got this. I deserve this.

This is me. This is what I'm on this planet Earth for. This is all part of my life.

I'm going to succeed. Now, any one of those would boost me up, put them together. So you might have more than one.

It could be a set of powerful beliefs. Don't restrict yourself just to the one. Have as many as you like.

You know, how many would you have to have to really empower you so much that you just knew you'd have to succeed? Yeah, that's the difference. Now then, let's go back. If you know now that it's totally possible to achieve this dream, this goal, this desire of yours, how would you be having the achievement, this dream? How would you be? Let's put it another way.

Let's put it the way I was getting confused. How would you be having achieved the dream? That's better, Paul. You got it now.

Let's get our communication right. How would you be having already achieved this goal? Let's go to the goal and then some. So you've achieved the goal and you've carrying on because it's only a continuum, isn't it? One goal leads to another, to another.

So I get that one I was really specific about. And now the opportunity is coming. How would I be? And then as you think about that, think about that, look at your notes, look at the notes of your specific goal, exactly what you want, where, with whom, with that powerful set of beliefs, read them out that support you.

And then there's a warning here. I want you to close your eyes. So don't do this without, you know, if you need anything that needs your attention, driving anything, it's a no-no.

So you can just pause and get this all together. And then I want you to close your eyes. That's all I want you to do, close your eyes and see yourself.

Having already got this dream, having already got this desire, having already got this specific goal of yours. You've already got it and you have it now, have it now. And as you just feel yourself there, what would you see when you've got this goal? What would you see? How would you see the world differently? Think about that.

How would you see the world differently? What would be the pictures in your mind? How would they be different? Yeah. How would they be different now? What's that internal voice of yours saying to yourself? Are those positive beliefs really resonating now so much that they actually go into every cell of your body? Maybe there's a smell and taste of success because you've already got this dream. And how does it feel? Feel the feelings of how you've already got this dream and you're moving on through life with achieving even more because you're an achiever now.

You're successful in the things that you do. You make decisions, you plan them, you notice exactly what you want specifically and you go get it and you see the world differently now. That internal voice of yours is motivating you with an inner belief and set of powerful beliefs and a feeling.

How do you breathe? How do you breathe? Just feel it all. And as you feel all of this, let that belief, as if it's like in stereo around you, just reverberate. Reverberate.

Remember all the skills that you have and you've accumulated across the whole of your life. Accessing anything you need, skills, behaviours, emotions. Think of the emotions you have now and really feel everything about that.

Everything about it. Notice how you can be different, so different now, having achieved that dream. And as you feel it so intensely, you can intensify that feeling just by winding up even more, double it.

And as you double that feeling, let's ask your unconscious mind and your conscious mind to learn. To learn from this, learn from the physiology and the psychology because we've done the mind, we've done the body, we've done the emotions, we've done the beliefs, we've done the psychology and physiology of success. And that's what this positive mindset is about.

Alignment, mind and body in total. And as your unconscious mind begins to learn from this, begin to notice how you would be able to act as if you had this already. To have this belief, to have this mindset, to have the emotions, the behaviours, the skills.

So you think and behave this way. And as you think and behave this way, to go through the whole process of achieving that dream and goal. Maybe as you think about that now, the dream and goal that you deserve to have.

Because it's yours with all this mindset, the physiology and the psychology of this positive mindset. Maybe there's a word that comes to mind that will really anchor this down for you. So every time you hear it or say it or read it, because you're going to write it down, inspires you to carry on and actually trigger these feelings.

Trigger these thoughts, trigger these emotions and behaviours and skills and this alignment to success. So what's that word that comes to mind that's really going to empower you? Trigger off all of this. And as that word comes to mind, just say thank you so much.

But say it in your head, louder and louder, with more passion than you can stand. And as you do that, just open your eyes. Feel so grateful.

And with that wonderful feeling and that word, write that word down now. And as you write that word down, begin to schedule. Begin to schedule your days of what you're going to start doing to achieve this goal.

Because now you have, you do have, now you have the mindset of success. Yeah. And there's so many other things that I have in my separate processes on that pawcluffonline.com forward slash podcast.

There's all the hypnosis tracks for acting as if, getting your confidence, planning, goal setting, all that stuff in so many different ways, that you can now structure, achieving that goal. But with this positive mindset, say that word, and just go get it. Yeah.

And if there's, here's a thing, sometimes things come up along the way, and you go, oh, there's maybe a little clash of values, or there's a little bit of, you know, imposter syndrome, or there's a little bit of overwhelm. Let me know. Email me, feedback at personalsdevelopmentunplugged.com. Let me know what it is.

Let me know, very briefly, what type of dream and goal you want. Let me know where you are. Let me know what your feelings are.

And let me know, just that little thing that's maybe holding you back, and we will crush it. Together, we will crush it. I will create a new process, a new episode, or direct you to one that already exists, so you can get it just like that.

So with this mindset of success, the real one, hopefully I've explained it in sufficient detail, that you can really get it now. Maybe just rewind this, if you can rewind something, you can kind of just pull that little slider back, and go through it again, go through this visualization again. But make sure you write that sucker down.

All of that stuff. Because if you miss out a step, guess what? There's a step missing. And then you go for, well, I nearly got it.

Well, we don't want a nearly, a shoulda, a coulda. I want you to go, yes, I did that. And when you get that, I did that.

What else can I do? What else am I going to achieve? There you go. Please do that. And please share this.

Please share this with everyone who you believe has a dream and just needs that little bit of encouragement, that little bit of motivation, because I'm not motivating you, by the way. You're motivating yourself. No one can motivate you.

No one. But I can give you processes to motivate yourself. There you go.

Was that good? I enjoyed it. I was seeing things in my head, beliefs in my mind. I did it a little bit when I made some notes about this too.

So I hope you enjoyed it. I don't think there was any swearing this time, was there? There was some swearing on my notes, but I don't think I used them. Did I? Anyway, maybe next time I'll come in with some colourful language, if that's okay.

I swear sometimes. So enjoy and have more fun than you can stand. Wallow in happiness.

And maybe your unconscious mind can also add a little thing to give you happiness for no reason. So you'll be going along your day and suddenly feel, oh, I feel happy for no reason. Bugger you, Cluffy, you've made me happy again.

And I'll say, no, I didn't. You did. Enjoy and fly.

Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Cluff. It's time to fly and run. Be brave, my friend.

Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

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Let's Flip Constant Striving For Improvement In personal development, we’re always told to chase “constant and never-ending improvement.” And yes, growth matters. But what if the pressure to always improve is actually holding you back?

In this 5-minute quickie, I invite you to flip that idea. Instead of endlessly striving, take a moment to recognise the incredible skills and wisdom you already have. From communication, relationships, and problem-solving to resilience and creativity — you’ve built a lifetime of tools.

Here’s the thing: if you don’t use them, you risk losing them. But by consciously using what you’ve learned — through selfless service, sharing, and living intentionally — you keep those skills alive, and they keep growing.

So today’s muse is simple: stop chasing for a minute and start using. You’ll not only feel richer inside but also make a difference to others around you.

Because personal growth isn’t just about “more” — it’s about sharing what you’ve already got.

And sharing what you hear:

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-513-lets-flip-constant-striving-for-improvement

And the video link https://youtu.be/4xsaSMdFhhA

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

So another Muse, another Muse, the five quickie, five quickie, five minute quickie episode of the Personal Development Unplugged podcast, where I just want to bring subjects for you to think about. And maybe in that thinking, that musing, we'll find something below the surface or something special, a learning that we can take forward into the present, into the future and create a better life for ourselves.

So what are we talking about today? Well, it's all about flip. How do we flip things? What do we flip? I'm going to tell you now. You see, we, I talk an awful lot about, in this genre of personal development, constant and never ending improvement.

Can I? You know, looking for that 1% more. And I'm going to bang on about that. I'm probably bang on about it.

Maybe a little bit. No, I'll never bang on about it too much. But, you know, sometimes constant and never ending improvement can drag us down a little.

It can be a little bit overwhelming, you know, because sometimes we plateau. And when we plateau, we're waiting for the next bit. We're letting things integrate, but we think maybe we're not improving.

But that is the plateau that we're going to, or the springboard we're going to jump off into our next set of steps of improvement. Because if you see, if you have a look at children, and you see them even day by day, you'll see massive changes in them, what they can do. If you don't see them for a little while, I have grandchildren.

I don't see them every day because I don't live close to them. But when I do see them, Jesus, they have changed so much. The vocabulary changes, their thoughts changes, the things they're doing changes.

Everything is, well, it's not just 1%. It is massive change. So we're all capable of massive change.

Because if kiddies can do it, we can do it because we've got that in our, maybe it's in our DNA, but we've got it in our physiology, we've got it in our brain, it's a muscle. So here's the thing though. When we're a little bit older, looking at me, when we're a little bit older, maybe that change isn't quite so rapid, is it? It's not quite so rapid.

It's not quite so different. If you look back over the months, you see a change. But the thing is, I want to flip this now, you see, instead of flip it, instead of being constant, never ending improvement, I want to keep in our back of our mind, keep it as an intention, because I want you to, you know, use it, don't want to lose it.

Whatever we've learned, we're going to do. But here's the thing, let's just flip it. How much have we learned in these days we've been on this little old planet Earth? How much? I've learned a staggering amount, haven't we? You know, and if you do things like my qualities and things like that, you would put down all the things you've learned, all those wonderful skills, skills in relationships, skills in your career, skills in just being you.

And on that thought of use it or lose it, even if we're not looking for that massive increase every day, if we set our intention to use the skills we've got, keep that muscle going, we won't lose it because what a waste, what a waste it would be to lose all those wonderful things that we've learned over the years. Sometimes stretching for the things that we haven't got and not using the stuff we've done, we've learned, the skills we've got. Now, how do you do that? Now, one of the thoughts I had is, I don't know, it's another thing, another banging on the thing, selfless service.

How can I use these skills to serve other people? Because if we've got good skills, it's nice to share them, yes, there's a little bit of ego there, I know, because it's a little bit of look at me, you know, the LIM syndrome, some people have it a lot more in bucket loads, look at me syndrome, but no, it's just nice to say, look, I've got this thing, I'd love to share it with you, I'd love to help you, I'd love to do something for you, I don't want anything in return, because in return, I get a good feeling anyway. And I'm also using my muscles, my skill muscles, my relationship muscles, my communication muscles, my happy muscle, because it will make you happy, it will make you feel so good, and you can then get your grateful muscle going. Now, so let's indulge ourselves, indulge ourselves in the things that we've learned, the things we were good at, all those skills.

And I think in doing that, not only will you be using it, so you won't lose it, I think they will develop too. And I'd say when you're getting a little bit older, you don't tend to see the massive differences. But I know if you look back over a month, two months, you would see a difference just by using what you've got.

Now that's something to think about. Now to think about it, to muse about it, first of all, I would love you to think about, take a little bit of time out to pause to breathe, maybe when you go on your walk, to think about everything you've learned. Write it down, write those things down, make a note of them, all the things, the skills you've got, and then think, how could I use this to share with people? How could I use this in selfless service? And you know what, you would be making a difference, not only to yourself, because you will, but you'll be making a difference to the people around you and little old planet Earth just gets a little bit richer.

I love that word rich. So please, just have a think, have a muse, have a muse with me, I'm going to be doing it. And I think it's a thing we can constantly go back to, and that's why we write it down.

If we write it down, we can muse, think, add to it, develop it, get inspiration from it. And your unconscious mind seems to give you more aha moments in there, more intuition. So please do that.

If there's anything you want, if anything comes up though, when you're doing this and you go, oh, that doesn't feel good, or there's a negative emotion, do get in touch with me. Email me please at feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com and then tell me what it is and we'll come up with something for you. Either I'll redirect you or direct you into a place where you can get the help you need, which would be like with a hypnosis track or a particular episode or another podcast, or we'll develop a longer podcast for you.

Or maybe it's just a small FMQ with just a little bit more information. And that would also help everyone else. So that would be selfless service.

Asking questions is selfless service because you're helping other people. Because you know what? We all have that question, we just don't know it, but the answer will resonate. Hope that makes sense.

Do share, give this to everyone around. Just say, hey, where's your phone number? WhatsApp it, whatever. Maybe mention it on social media.

We don't like social media that, but this is social media for good, sharing good stuff. I hope it's good stuff. I hope, I do really do.

I'm doing my best. So come back for a longer podcast, the longer, deeper dives and these five minute musings. And we'll have fun together.

Because it's fun to have fun and be happy for no reason. Yeah. See you soon.

Time to fly. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly and run.

Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]

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Keeping Negative Emotions At Bay Ever lost your cool over something small — then realised it wasn’t about the “thing” at all?

In this episode of Personal Development Unplugged, I take you through a real-life moment where frustration turned into anger, then into something deeper… limiting beliefs like “I’m stupid” or “I’m not good enough.”

Here’s the truth: those surface emotions are rarely the whole story. By peeling back the layers, you’ll discover what’s really driving them — and more importantly, how to release them.

You’ll learn:

• How to spot the real emotion underneath anger or frustration
• A simple process to break free from limiting beliefs before they grow
• Why small learnings create massive change over time

This isn’t about pretending negativity doesn’t exist. It’s about learning from it, dissolving it, and building stronger foundations for success — every single day.

Takeaway: When you uncover the lesson behind an emotion, the emotion itself loses its grip. That’s freedom.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/461-keeping-negative-emotions-at-bay

and don’t forget to check out the free hypnosis tracks waiting for you at paulcloughonline.com/podcast

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

#461 Keeping Negative Emotions At Bay

Hey, imagine this. Just imagine this for a moment.

Imagine if you're me, coming to my my body, my feet, my footsteps, my shoes, as we call it, into this lovely little recording place. And imagine this. You set out to record a podcast episode.

And you do it. And do you know what? You're bloody pleased about it. It just seemed to all just flow.

All just flow. You are in the zone. Whatever the zone is for that.

You're just letting things just happen. The words just came so sweetly. You're there.

You feel great. Feel good about yourself. You've even put a video out.

You're recording the video. Everything is going just sweet. And then you finish.

Now, what could be better? Something happened just in that moment. You were in the present. How good does that feel? How good does that feel? And then you go, well, I'm just going to take that audio section out and put it over there.

And as you take it out, you put it onto this other program. What happens? There's a flat line all the way through. You know what a flat line means? It means this.

Not a bloody sound. Oh, that must be a mistake. Must be a mistake.

So click on the video. And what happens? I'm just mouthing words. Nothing's coming out.

And there's a flat line. No audio. And I look down and there's my little microphone box thingy, which I don't know what it is, but I've got one of those over there.

And it should be lit up. And it isn't. It means the microphone wasn't switched on.

Oh my. Well, what happened? What happened? I went absolutely ballistic. First of all, I started shouting at myself.

Why are you stupid? Go like that. Out loud, by the way, because there's no one can hear me in this place. So I can let it rip.

And that didn't satisfy me. So what else did I do? Well, this bloody microphone got it. I swore at the microphone.

I gave it. Why the hell weren't you switched on? You're so stupid. I don't know why I've got you.

It was this person in front of me, this little microphone, my friend for all these years. And I was given it some. And then I thought to myself, how did I feel? How do I feel about this? And the thing is, I just felt angry.

Really, really angry. And I thought, well, that's fine, if you're going to do something about this, what are we going to do about it? What are we going to do? Because if you think about it, I'm angry. I'm angry at the bloody microphone, the box over there, the zero sound.

Was it the mic's fault? Was it balls? Was it? Was it the little box's fault? Was it? No. But I had to think, I had to think, okay, so what's below the anger? What is below my anger? And of course, you know, there's that, it was frustration, angry about wasted time and, you know, having something what I thought was pretty good and buggered it up. But that's still anger, isn't it? And that frustration, it's just gone simmering now, that anger's simmering into frustration.

I thought, no, come on, Cloughie, this, you know, you're better than this. What is below that frustration? And I thought to myself, well, do you know what? I'm so bloody stupid. You know, I'm stupid.

Maybe I don't deserve it. Maybe I don't deserve it. And I thought to myself, okay, come on, come on, keep going, Cloughie, keep going.

You know, you said I'm stupid, a limiting belief, isn't it? I don't deserve this, another limiting belief. And what's the emotion around those two? And I thought, I feel a little bit guilty, which is quite weird, but guilty of failure. I'm a failure.

I failed. I'm no bloody good. Not good enough.

Oh, bugger. Now we're into something a little bit deep, because we've like peeled away the onion layers, haven't we? We've gone between that first initial surface emotion and just gone below the surface. But we didn't stop there.

We went, or I didn't, we went a little bit weak. You came with me. We went a little bit deeper.

And then what happened? We found that limiting belief. And you see, all the anger was outward, but the limiting beliefs were at an identity level, weren't they? I'm stupid. I don't deserve this.

I'm a failure. I'm not good enough. Or talking about me as a person.

This is me, my identity. Shit. Now, the thing is, and this is what happens to us, I think.

If I hadn't done any of this, I'd have stopped at that surface level, even though below the surface, all that stuff is still there. What happens is the next time something similar happens, it's reinforced, isn't it? Below the surface, it's reinforced to say, yeah, you are bloody stupid, Cloughie. Yeah, I don't deserve this.

You know, I'm just reinforcing your bloody failure. I really am a failure. It's happened again.

And then you start thinking, well, how many more times will it keep happening? You know, you're setting it out in the future and it's going to start growing. Because that's what happens. And your unconscious mind wants to try to protect you from this feeling.

So, it makes you even more angry sometimes to either cover it up or just to do something to take away that feeling of failure. And it grows and generalises into different areas, not just little things like this, but other areas. So then I really start to believe I'm a failure.

I really start to believe I'm not good enough. And it all started back then from that little thing. So, and this happens all the time, doesn't it? So what are you going to do about it? Well, this is what I did.

And this is part of the process, lovely little process that I learnt. You ask yourself, okay, what can I learn from this? Because it's the learnings, you see, if you learn from a negative event, a highly emotional event, and you take the learnings and you understand them and you take them inside so you can use them in the future, guess what? That negative emotion just disappears. It doesn't need to be here anymore because you've got the learnings.

It doesn't need to try to protect you anymore from that. It doesn't have to get all through those old horrible behaviours. Now I could say, what do I need to learn? Okay, well, turn on the mic before you do it.

That's a sort of learning, but that's not just looking outward in, isn't it? I want to go deeper, just like I peeled away the layers. What's below that? Well, I thought, well, you talk a lot about pausing, Cloughie, setting your intention. And if you thought about it before you recorded, you'd have stopped, made sure that you've got all the bits and pieces you want.

The lights are working. The cameras are working. Oh, the mic is working.

And it's at the right level and all that stuff. Okay. So I've learned a little bit, it's all about pausing.

And I thought, well, is there a deeper lesson to this? And it came to me, just sitting there thinking about this. And by now, because I've gone below the layers, I was talking to myself like this. I was interested.

I was curious. And the anger and frustration had gone completely, even though I still hadn't got the recording. I thought, well, it's all about the basics, isn't it? Because when we're into things and we think we understand things, we forget the basics.

And the basics are a foundation to build off. And the more we come back to creating the most strongest foundation, everything above it will be supported so well. And they're like the foundations of success.

Now, this podcast might not be a success, but if I'd have done the right things, I'd have felt a success. And that's all it's about, really. I know it's for you, but it's also about me and the way I feel.

If I did this and didn't feel good about it, you know what, I'd stop straight away. But if I feel good about it and no one listens or watches, it's cool because I've done something that makes me feel good. And when I feel good, things are happening inside and I'm learning.

And I'll take that good feeling into other areas of my life. And then I just thought, well, just before we move on from there, think about it now, just visualise, Cloughie, just for a moment, 60 seconds, just visualise coming into this room, this lovely little room, getting ready, switching all the things on, go back to your basics, take a breath. Got a little sign that says smile.

Yeah, just to remind myself, let's just lighten up, get into those foundations and see yourself doing that great job. So I saw myself doing a great job. So I did it again and I did a great job.

I think I did a great job. I did a great, the great job that I felt was good enough, good enough for me. It made me feel good.

Now, did you get the process? Did you get the process? Well, I'll go through it with you because I think it's great too. Repetition is the mother of skill. So let's have a little think.

And if you've got a notebook, you do little bullet points or a little mind map. So what happens? Here's the thing. Something happened, didn't it? Something happened in my life and it can be good or bad because I want to learn, this is not just for negative emotions, although when you have a negative event with negative emotions, you want to clear that.

So you don't bring them in the forward or bring them into the future when the same becomes the now. But if it's a good event, I want to learn from good events so I can repeat them. Yeah.

So one allows you not to repeat and use better emotions. Or the other one says, now let's grow from this. And they're going to grow from this, from both anyways.

So good or bad, we react. And we always remember the negatives, by the way, because they're there to protect you. We have this negative bias, don't we? So let's use it.

Let's use the bloody thing. It's there hardwired in our neurology. So let's use the bloody thing for good.

If it's going to protect us, let's use it for real protection and a real wonderful future. So something happens. Something happens in our life.

It's called like a change. Sometimes something happens to change us and that changes is emotional. So what we do once we notice it.

Now, ideally, if you do it on the time, well, I did mine directly afterwards. But if you can really quickly, really quickly, just after that event has happened, if not in the evening, just quietly when you're sitting there, let's have a little think. Oh, that thing happened.

How did I feel? How did I react emotionally? How did I react behaviourally? Because you might have, you know, my behaviour was absolutely atrocious. Because not only did I swear, I don't mind swearing. Swearing can be good when it's done in a lovely way.

But not when it was like that, because it wasn't nice. And I behaved in a fractious, angry manner. And my body took on anger, you know, the blood was pumping.

Thoughts, because even behaviours can be your thoughts and your words and your internal voice and all that stuff. So just make a note, how did I react? What was my behaviour? And then go, well, okay, what was that surface emotion? What's below that? And now you start to get curious. And you're also the teacher of yourself.

Because you're now dissociated from it. And you're looking down upon that event or looking down into your emotions and go, okay, what's below that basic emotion? Ah, okay. And just notice what comes up because it will just come up and go with it.

Go with what comes up because you're asking your unconscious mind, what's below that? Just what's below that surface? And then what's below that? What does that mean? What is it just below that? Just keep going, maybe one or two levels. And when you get to a level where you think, yeah, I think I've got that negative belief that's now with it. We're talking about a negative emotion or a negative event.

So we're looking to see, well, what does that mean? What belief do I have about myself when I'm at that level, three levels, two levels down? What is that identity? I, I can, I can't, I'm not. Not normally I can unless I can be a right dick, that type of thing. But that's what I say to myself.

Oh dear. But you find, okay, now we've got this negative emotion. We've also got these negative behaviours we've realised and we've also got the limiting belief that's attached to it.

Now, what can I learn from that? And just notice what is the learnings that if you learn them now from that event, you can use them in the future to have and create a better life for yourself. And that's it. Now, how many times do you have those type of events? Well, for me, pretty damn often.

So I've got my little book and I'm starting to fill up, but it's filling up with learnings. And then I get curious about other things what's happening. I find that the triggers aren't quite so excessive now.

So there you go. The process, let's just go back, bullet points. Something happens, boom.

Make a note of it. What was the emotion present? What was the original behaviours present? Then just go below the surface. What emotion is below that surface? What's driving that surface emotion? And what's just below that? And what, when I think that below the surface emotion, get it right Cloughie, what is that limiting belief that I think about myself? And then when I learn from it, what can I learn from it? Then you find when you've learned from it, how do I think now of the future? When I look to the future and I'm going to do that same type of thing again, just before it happens, what happens? And for me, I come and say hello to my mic.

I tell I'm sorry. It's my friend. It's my friend.

And so there's a little box in the corner and everything is good. And start with a smile, which is what I did. Now, did I make myself perfectly clear? I hope so.

Did I communicate in a way that's going to allow you to learn from all these? Because they're just little events. They don't have to be massive, just little events, which will allow you to grow. Small steps allow you to really get good feelings when you think about changing in the future.

Because that's what personal development is. It's a lot of little steps. But when you go through each one, they don't seem that much.

But the cumulative effect, if that's the way to say it, is massive. And it's only when you look back and you go, do you know what? I've changed. Things have happened.

This is good. I'm beginning to feel I'm making notes about feeling good about different things, more things, more times in my life, I'm feeling good about stuff. And that's what we want for each other.

So I hope I've communicated that in a way that is clear. And hopefully I've enthused you a little bit to start looking at those little things in life to make them better and learn. If you just make those three notes and do it and then share it to other people, you will get it better in your head as well.

Because when you share the things you've learned verbally, you get to realise how much you know or can't quite explain it. Maybe I've got to go back and find out exactly what it was. So you hone in.

And that repetition, again, gets your memory to store these learnings deeper and better and more accessible. You repeat them all the time. Yeah.

So if you could share that, please share this, share the podcast. If you would, I need a boost. I do.

You know, we just plod along and stumble along in this little world of personal development. I'm happy here. But I love more people to get the benefit of some of the things I'm sharing with you and get the benefit of you sharing them with other people, because that allows you to grow too.

You know, selfless service, that's a thing. And when you share these type of things with people, you will grow. And the multiverse and the universe and the law of attraction and all that stuff will dump dollops of good stuff on you.

All from no want of return. But it just does that. And we all have a wonderful life.

So please do that. Press that subscribe and follow button. All that lovely stuff.

And have a listen to a few hypnosis tracks of mine. Okay. So I'll see you next time.

Have more fun than you can stand. And guess what? What would happen talking to your unconscious mind if you were happy for no reason? Oh, time to fly. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough.

It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]

View Details

Today Is A Special Day – Find Out Why Every single day is unique, but how often do we really live it like that? In this Five Minute Quickie, I want you to pause, reflect, and realise that today is the only one you’ll ever get. No repeats, no reruns.

We’ll dive into:

• Why seeing today as a gift and a present changes your mindset
• How a little gratitude and intention can make ordinary days extraordinary
• Simple ways to create meaning for yourself and others in the moment

This isn’t about waiting for the future or getting stuck in the past. It’s about recognising that today is special — because it’s all we really have.

Listen in, share it forward, and let’s make this day one worth remembering.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-512-today-is-a-special-day-find-out-why

And the video link https://youtu.be/rn3zxbj2LtU

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey the five minute quickie. Now this is really just five minutes to muse, or in some ways for me to muse and you hopefully to get inspired to muse on the same type of subjects or develop them even more. So what am I going to talk about today? Well it is today I want to talk about because what is today? What is today? Do you know? Well today is special.

It's a special day today and why is it special? Come on, come on. Why is this special? Because it's the only bloody one you're going to get. Only one.

This day has never happened before it will never happen again. End of. End of.

This is the only day you're going to get. Now how often do we think about that? How often do you think about this is a special day? Or do we just go through it mundanely? What's the word? Anyway you know just go through our life. I don't say our daily life but yeah it is.

How often do we just go through the day without thinking that it is special? How often? And how often then because if we thought about this is the one and only day we're going to get, make it special. And yeah personal admitment. Admitment? My words today are no good.

I don't do it either. Well if I don't or do, I don't do it enough. Because I've just been thinking about it lately.

Thinking well you know I heard a lovely lovely saying. You know what's special about today? Well it's another day above ground. Waking up and thinking another day above ground.

I'm breathing. I'm here. So I now have an opportunity because it's all about having an opportunity to make this day special in a special way.

You know maybe there's things I can do for other people. I know I go all bang on about selfless service. I do try to do as much as I can.

We're all human. We all have our little foibles and we fall back and we get blindsided but we always hopefully try to do a little bit more for other people using the skills we've learned. Help them in this special day.

And also I also think that we should make it special for ourselves. Because at the end of the day we're the only one of us. And therefore how can we make it special for us too? And if you thought about it just this is the muse.

This is a muse where I'd love you to take away and sit down in the sun or in the evening or wherever you are with your glass of water, maybe a gin and tonic, maybe a beer, maybe a cup of tea, a coffee, maybe your puzzle book and just think how can I make every day special? Are there things I could do? Or just being grateful. Getting that seed of gratefulness inside you and feel it even more because today is special. And what are the things I can do on the next day that's going to be special? Now you see the day is not the past is it? Can't be.

The past is gone isn't it? Well the past is we say the past is gone but it doesn't exist. Time is just a figment I guess. But the past is just a memory.

And the future, well it's not there is it? Because if it was there we'd be in it. But it's just the next day when it comes into the present. And that's the thing.

Why do you think today is called the present? Here's what I think. Because it's the present, it's a gift. We've been given the gift of life, given the gift of making it special, being our unique selves and doing the things that we do uniquely.

And when we just get this sense of gratitude and actually set our intention to do something really good today it'll be awesome. And then when we go to sleep we can just feel so grateful just as we close our eyes of a great day. And then when we wake up in the morning again it's another day above ground.

How can I make today's gift of the present special? There you go. That is something to muse about isn't it? It's deep or it could be deep but it is something to to muse. And once you do that and you start to get that sense of gratitude I believe the days just get better.

And please share this with your friend, your best friend. Not your best friend inside because they know but your best friend outside. And share the podcast if you would so it grows and more people get to have the present and be special.

Okay do that please, follow, subscribe and all that lovely stuff because it is now time to fly into the musings of your life. Before you go my friend I'd like to ask you a question. Did you learn something from this this episode? I hope you did because even though every episode may not be the one that really floats your boat, sets you you know, alight.

Hopefully there's a takeaway in each and every episode for you and I'd love to know what it was. So please do email me at feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. It's a personal email to me. I'd love to know so we can carry on doing this work that will allow you to exceed your dreams.

And what's the payment for this? Payment Cloughie? What are you talking about payment? I thought it was free. Well it's like pay it forward and if you could pay this forward in two ways or maybe three. First way is please share it.

Share this podcast with as many people as you could and you can. It's very easy. Just press that share button.

Send it off by email to them. You'd love to. This is something you might like.

Might get that right Paul. Something you might enjoy. And hey if you could, a real big pay it forward to me is wherever you're getting this podcast.

Is it iTunes, Castbox or Stitcher or whichever you're getting from. Google Play. I don't know.

Would you please just leave a review? Because a review really helps people find this podcast. There's thousands out there and we want to or I want to direct people to this podcast. And the way to do it is by reviews.

So if you could do that. If you could share. You could do that.

And also just make sure that you're subscribed so you get this episode and every other episode. On a Wednesday and a Saturday. If you do all of that.

My little heart will sing. And if you want me to sing. Well you'll have to wait and see.

Enjoy. But please do. Do all of that.

Make my heart sing. Bye bye now. Warning.

You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly and run. Be brave my friend.

Personal Development Unplugged

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]

View Details

Letting Yourself Down: Thinking of Others – DON’T Do you put everyone else first? Always there for family, friends, even the ones who don’t always treat you right? That’s an incredible value to have — being dependable, supportive, and accountable.

But here’s the truth: when you constantly put others before yourself, you’re letting yourself down. And when you let yourself down, you let everyone down.

In this episode, I’ll guide you through a simple but powerful exercise to uncover your core life values — the foundation of who you are. Once you know your top three, you’ll understand how to live in alignment with them, stay true to yourself, and actually be a stronger support for those you care about.

This isn’t about being selfish. It’s about knowing who you are, standing on that rock-solid foundation, and being accountable to you. From there, everything else — your goals, dreams, relationships — falls into place.

Listen in and find out:

• Why putting others first can actually let them down.
• How to discover your top three life values.
• How living by those values makes you the best version of you.
• Why accountability starts with yourself — or it doesn’t work at all.

It’s time to stop letting yourself down. Build your foundation. Live your values. And only then, lift up others.

Let's share this with others

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/460-letting-yourself-down-thinking-of-others-dont

And there is a video of this too https://youtu.be/yRgclkZ-GgA

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

#460 Letting Yourself Down - Thinking Of Others -DON'T

So, what's this longer episode going to be about? Well, I don't think it's going to be about that long, but it is important. And you know, well I think I know you, you're the type of person who won't let their mates down. You'd probably do anything, anything, rather than let somebody down, because that's the type of person you are.

I think we've all done it, but I know you do it. You've rushed around, you've changed things, you know, you even made a few sacrifices probably and made a point that you could be counted on. You see, I think it's really good that you have that value, that you could be supportive and you're countable, you can be counted on.

That's a great value to have. I want you to just remember those times now, if you just think about it now, remembering those times when you have looked to just help others, you know, you're not going to let them down. It could be that you want to make sure that you can be dependable or depended on.

You infuse, you help motivate by being there. Remember it? Remember those times? I know there's more than one, so, you know, just have a think back for the moment right now, while I'm speaking of times in the past where you've busted a gut to make sure that you've supported other people. Yeah? Because we've all done it, but I know you have, you know, maybe your best friend.

No, not that one, it's the other best friend, the other best friend out there. You know, if they asked you to do something, they needed help, they needed support, you'd be there, wouldn't you? You'd be there, like a bloody rat up a drain pipe. Not a nice term, but you would, wouldn't you? You'd be there.

A family member, you'd be there. Even the one that you don't sometimes like. Sometimes we have families that don't suddenly gel, and even that one, if push came to shove, you'd be there.

Absolutely, you'd be there, because you could be counted on. And it's a little bit like taking that one little step further, you know, we call it like a gym buddy, or a diving buddy, someone you can count on, someone who's always there. And with a gym buddy, you're also accountable to them in the way that you have to turn up, you do your bit for them while they're there.

And it's like a mutual accountability, but it's all about accountability to that person. Being that safe pair of hands, dependable. It's nice, isn't it? Nice to think that you do that, and I'm pleased that you do it.

It's all such an excellent thing to do. So what are you going to say next, Cloughie? Because I know there's a but coming, and it's not a but, but it is an a, yeah, it's a but. But the thing is, these are all outside things.

They're being dependable to people outside you. They're in your environment, your external environment. What about the team of one? Or if you've changed that one to the team of I, how many times have you put others in front of yourself, over yourselves? And you see, that's the most selfish, I can't even say the bloody word, selfish thing that you can do.

No, Cloughie, you can't. How can you be so selfish if I'm doing this for other people? Because you're not looking after yourself first. You look after yourself first, you are healthy, you're happy.

You've really got yourself, you know, you've got your shit together. And they get to be around you when you've got your shit together. Who would you rather be around? Someone who's got their shit together, or someone who hasn't? Yeah, they could be trying, and you go, they try so much, but they really need help themselves.

And that's what I want you to do. I want you to do that external stuff. Because it's that selfless service, being accountable to other people in that way.

You're really being accountable to yourself, because you're living to that value of helping others. But I want you to think. I want you to think of yourself a little bit.

And I want you to think of your values. And you can say, yeah, Cloughie, Cloughie, we've talked about values. The values of why is work important to me? Why is relationships important to me? And we've done all of that.

Yeah. Why is work out there? What's important to me about work out there? What's important about relationships or people out there? What's important about my family out there? Again, it's external values. I'm talking about the team of I, the team of one, you inside.

What are your life values? What are the most important things to you? That you, that your identity? Do you know? Most people don't. Most people don't. I did mine a long time ago, and I still think about, should I, not should I change them, but have they changed? Or do they still feel, or do they still feel strong? Do they still feel me? And they do.

Mine are being truthful. That's number three. Being loyal.

That's number two. And being totally trustworthy. That's number one.

And there's love in there as well, but they're the three that I, I want to be able to count on myself to live a life with those values. Because if I live a life with those values, when I share them with other people by actions, my behaviours, my accountability, it's going to come through stronger than ever. When people know that they can trust you, and they're, you're loyal.

You know, you're truthful. So what are yours? Do you know your top three? How'd you do it? Just as we did it before. But just think now, what's really important to me in life? What's really important? And just get a piece of paper.

Throw them down on a piece of paper. Ask again. What else? What else is important to me? And write that down.

What else is important to me in my life? Get at least seven. Maybe ten. And we're not going to use them all.

We're not going to use them all, but it's good to have. But you see what tends to happen is, the first two or three that come to mind are the ones which are up there, up in the front. They're the more conscious.

But as you start to empty the, whatever you're emptying, because you're emptying something outside you, or inside you, out onto the piece of paper, you start to get more unconscious, more unconscious values that you maybe were aware of, but you're not, or you weren't quite. And when you get them, you just go, do you know what? If I could only have one of these, which would be the most important one to me. And just look at that paper, and notice how it just jumps out, out of the page at you.

Write that down on a separate piece of paper. Cross it off of the other list. And then go, well, how are those others? Maybe those other nine.

What's the most important one? If I could only have one of those nine remaining things that are important to me, what is the most strongest, most valuable one to me? And when it jumps out of the page, you know the one, you know the bloody one. Write it on that separate piece of paper, and then do it one more time. Just look, you've crossed out the two, you're looking at the remaining eight or so, and you go, what is the most important thing left for me in that page? And then, obviously, you write it on that other piece of paper.

Now you've got the three, the three. And let's look to see, as you say, well, these are my values, my identity. Do they support me? Because if they don't, we might have to do some value work.

But generally, they support you. You look at them and go, do you know what they are? They're rock. They're my rock.

And if I could strive to live just by those three values alone, the rest will fall into place anyway. They'll come along. But if I could strive to live my life with those top three values in it, I'd be following my path.

I'd be striving to be the best version of myself. But also, everyone could depend on me when I've got those three values, and I'm striving to live my values at my identity, and people get the benefit of it. And guess what? I'd feel even better and happy for it.

I'd be feeling a bit more joy. And if I don't live to those values, I'd let myself down. And that ain't going to happen.

Because if I let myself down, I would let everyone down. And that's not going to happen, because I know there's like that twin value. But I'm not going to let myself down, because I have inside me this thing that is just me.

Cut that myself down. This is what makes me in the world. And if I'm not accountable to me, how can I be accountable to others? Doesn't work, does it? If I let myself down, I let everyone down.

I can't let myself down and not let other people down, can I? Of course I can't. And it's really just understanding your values. Because when you understand them, you can make sure your goals, your dreams are fully intertwined and supported by those values.

And you'll see how those values will create the success of that goal, success of that dream, the success of the outcome. So get to know. Get to know what's most important to you in life.

Your life, what's most important. You've got the hierarchy, one, two and three. There's others, but mould yourself around that.

Mould yourself. And notice how each of having those would support the different areas of your life. How you can then move through the rest of your life and enhance those particular values you have for those different contexts.

That's the way it works. Keep them close. Keep them close.

I used to have them on a piece of paper. Look at them regularly. I don't need to now because they are here.

I know them. And if I know when I'm not performing my best, I think of my values. I go, aha.

Not living up to those, am I? I've just let one of those slip a little bit or I'm not really pushing it. This is a foundation you see. It's a foundation of who you are, your identity.

Now I said this wasn't the longest of the longer podcasts, but I think it's really important. It's when you know who you are and you can develop them by the way because then you start thinking, well, you know, maybe there's something I can improve even more. But you start from that foundation, a rock steady foundation that will support you.

And then when you get to help others, you're even, you know, you're building upon those values. You're reinforcing them. It's like you can't love people if you don't love yourself.

So you can't be accountable to others if you're not accountable to yourself. But you can't be accountable to yourself if you don't know who you really are. What is the mainstay of who you really are, your identity? Because when we understand our identity and how our beliefs and values just all fit together, boom, everything else comes together.

You'd be able to use, well, you learn new skills because of those things. You'd be able to use those skills. The behaviours you have are rock solid and you do them everywhere.

I think this is more of a thinking thing. I don't want to listen to it again, but just have a little think and go, do I know mine? And if I don't, let's just do this. It takes about five minutes.

Just set yourself down and go, do you know what? I'm going to find out these bloody values. You'd be surprised how good they are, how strong they are. When you uncover them, because they're just inside, just a little way inside.

And when you and your unconscious mind share this information together, whoo, you're buzzing. You're buzzing. Did I make sense? Did it make sense? Did I communicate it in a way that's got you to think a little bit? I hope so.

I always hope these things. What's the point of doing it? But it's just important. It is important.

It's important. What are my values? Support you. But I have to get that trust, honestly.

And I'll just be there. Okay, that's it. This is a longer podcast, which isn't that long.

Something to think about. It's like a longer muse, I guess. Enjoy, share with everyone you can and hit me up on the email, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com if you want to.

I'd love to hear from you. See what your thoughts are and if there's any help I can give you, I will. So until the next time, my friend, you go fly and have more fun than you can stand.

Ta-ra. Your six steps to achieving supreme inner confidence. Who's this program for? This is for anyone who experiences anxiety, self-doubt and fear.

But deep down, they know they have something within them just craving to be free. It's for people who want to achieve their ambitions, to achieve their dreams with total confidence and self-belief. So in the next five or so minutes, we're going to realize your lack of self-confidence is not the problem.

It's by letting go of the fear that's holding you back and stopping that constant worrying what others think of you. We're going to let go of nagging fear of not being good enough and being found out. So you wake up and feel good about yourself and what that day holds.

To be excited about the future and what that holds for you. Want to find the old you and then the real you. How to dream the dreams you want for yourself and have those dreams become real.

So I promise to you, it is a step-by-step program to supreme inner confidence. But let's be honest, this is not magic. I don't promise to wave a magic wand and say, Hey, presto! Everything's changed.

If you really want this, you're going to have to do some work to do whatever it takes. Hey, does this sound like you? Are you constantly in fear of not being in control? Do you overthink everything? Do you question everything and everybody? Do you wonder, will this ever end? And what if it doesn't? See, the real problem, you haven't taken the steps to deal with the true cause of all your issues. It's okay.

You're about to discover them now. And once you take them, you're going to feel so excited to see the world and the opportunities in it. To have fun and laughter again.

Joy and happiness. Wake up in the morning with a buzz of energy now that a heavy load has been lifted. To feel calm, content, empowered.

To feel free. The real sense of freedom. Effortlessly to be in control again.

And to simply be the real you. So who am I? I'm a masked hypnotist. Trainer of NLP and hypnotherapist.

I help people to be who they really are and let go of all their insecurities and enjoy their life again. In fact, for the past 18 years plus, I've simply been helping clients to let go of their issues and get their real results. That's me, Paul Clough.

Let's discover those six steps. There are six key steps you must take and make to let go of your anxiety and self-doubt fully, completely, while unleashing your untapped, undiscovered self-confidence. I'm going to walk you through all six steps.

Step one. Don't fight it, but honor it. You see, this program is not a bandage or a plaster.

They simply don't work. We need to understand what your own confidence and low self-esteem is doing for you. That's right.

It's doing something positive for you. The mind shift. They're not the enemy.

If you fight them, fight it. Push against it, the snowball just gets bigger and bigger. You know that.

And if you fight it and push against it, it just spreads in other areas of your life. You know that. The mind shift.

Work with your best friend. Your unconscious mind. You see, it's all about unconscious learning, not consciously learning.

Because you see, you didn't learn to be this way consciously. So why would you try to solve it consciously? It rarely works and probably makes it even worse. So what does work and make things better? You see, it's all about learning at the unconscious level to truly understand what it will mean to you to be competent and confident in all areas of your life, to have your unconscious mind learn what it needs to, that once learned, will let go of all your negative feelings and debilitating and paralyzing self-talk.

That was the old way. People used to have many sessions with little or no change. You'd be guided to lovely places and feel so relaxed now, but not later.

They'd make you relive those past memories when things felt really uncomfortable and low. And they'd tell you to be confident this way, using these stories in their own generic way. That's not you, that's not yours.

The secret, you see, you don't need someone telling you how to be or how long it will take. You just need the will to do whatever it takes to follow this program. Because we're going to unconsciously learn from the past and keep the intention of your unconscious mind to create an empowering and confident present.

And then, with all of that, create the future you want. You see, together we're going to learn to change old beliefs. Together we're going to find new behaviors and new ways to feel confident.

See, it's not my way of being confident, free, excited, happy, calm, content and joyful. It's your way. And together we're going to create a recipe in all your senses of how you want to be in all areas of your life.

You see, take your time and feel comfortable. But time doesn't really have to take that long. Some people change in a second.

How long have you got? I like to work really fast. And it doesn't have to be scary or uncomfortable. Why would you want to struggle and make it difficult? I like to work in an easy, simple and comfortable and lasting way.

And let's make it easy and invest in you. See, invest in you with my help. Self-help books and hypnosis CDs are good, but not good enough.

You'd better pray and spray if you're going that direction. There's no gain without pain, and that's BS. The pleasure that comes from being confident in being you is immeasurable.

Because when you achieve success in your competence, confidence and high self-esteem, you're going to feel empowered. What else couldn't you do right now? You will never know how far the ripples of this change will go. Today I've promised you a step-by-step program to regain your supreme inner confidence.

The secret, my secret, to unconsciously learn from the past and keep that intention, that unconscious intention. Create an empowering and confident present and then create the future. Each of these three steps has two specialized hypnosis processes and a video for each one, making the full six steps to your supreme inner confidence.

But the final piece of the puzzle. You have a choice. Your responsibility.

You can join me in this unique program. And let me guide you to rediscover your supreme inner confidence, high self-esteem and ultimately your freedom. So let's remind ourselves.

Who's this for? If you've finally had enough, you're saying to yourself, I'm prepared to do and have whatever it takes. This feels right. And you see it's the right thing to do.

It's finally time to take action and reclaim your confidence, your self-esteem and to be the real you. If that's you, hey, come and join me on this supreme inner confidence program. You have nothing to lose, but your low self-esteem and unconfidence.

There's a 30 day money back guarantee. That's it. Come and join me.

Paul Clough. We'll have fun and regain that supreme inner confidence. So that was a extract from my other website, paulcloughonline.com. And that's where you can purchase this program.

And do remember, there's nothing to fear and there's nothing to lose. Only your unconfidence. OK, so have a look.

Paulcloughonline.com. And if you put forward slash confidence, I think you go straight there. OK. See you there.

Bye.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

Spicing Up Success Ever wondered why some goals feel like a slog while others seem to flow? In this 5-minute quickie, I dive into Neville Goddard’s powerful idea of the feeling of the wish fulfilled—and then I take it further.

What if you didn’t just imagine the emotion of achieving your dream… but also stepped into the psychology and physiology of already having it? How would you breathe, walk, talk, and think if your goal was done and dusted?

This is more than just motivation—it’s how you train your unconscious mind to notice opportunities, attract success faster, and build unstoppable inner confidence.

So if you’re ready to achieve your dreams quicker, richer, and with more certainty—hit play. And if you know someone chasing their goals, share this with them. It might be exactly the nudge they need.

👉 Subscribe, share, and let’s make success contagious.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-511-spicing-up-success/

And you can see the video of this episode here https://youtu.be/1l6VfjwxfH8

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hello and welcome back to the five minute quickie. Something to amuse about and this is I think really important but it's so quick because we all, I guess anyway, we all want to achieve our dreams.

We have goals that we'd like to succeed in and we'd like to have a life that is something worthwhile, isn't it? And that is made up of lots of mini goals, I guess, things that we'd like to have happen. And there was a guy who called Neville Goddard who spoke and wrote about a thing called the feeling of the wish fulfilled. And if you lived your life with that feeling, the feeling of the wish fulfilled, which in effect is if you can imagine having already got that goal, the thing that you wanted for, the thing you desire, your dream, what would that feel like? And then if you began to work towards that goal with that feeling, the feeling of the wish fulfilled, so as if you've already got it, it would just make it so much easier.

And it would, you'd attract it, your unconscious mind would look for all those different things, the reticular activating system and your biological just tends to notice and focus on all the things you want. And it's brilliant. The feeling of the wish fulfilled.

I'm going to do a longer podcast on this, but just to muse, what I've been thinking about is how could we make that a little bit richer, richer than the feeling of the wish fulfilled? Absolutely. Because that feeling is wonderful. If you imagine having already got the things that you want, being specific by the way, individually, wouldn't it be good? But hey, when you have that feeling and you can imagine having got your goal, you already know then what would it be like physically? How would you feel physically in your body? The physiology of the wish fulfilled.

So not only then would you have the emotion, you'd also have the physiology. But what else? Well, if you think about it, not only the physiology, you'd have the psychology. So you've got the emotion, the feeling of the wish fulfilled.

You'd also know the type of things you'd be thinking about, the pictures in your mind, having already got that goal. Now, if you put those three together, the feeling of the wish fulfilled, so you really ramp up that emotion. Then you start to think of the way you'd think having already got that, because now you know you could do it.

You've got that confidence, that inner confidence. And then you've got the physiology, the way you'll breathe, the way you'll walk and talk and everything about that. You've got a richness of the feeling of the wish fulfilled, because now you've got it in every modality.

So when you think of that goal, you just imagine having already got it, what would it feel like? What would I think? What would I see in the pictures in my mind? How would I talk to myself? And how would I act? And that would be the true, for me, acting as if. Act as if you've already got that dream. And I guarantee you, the old Cloughie guarantee from personal development unplugged, got unplugged.

That's when dreams become bigger, better, and you get them quicker. You achieve your goals so much quicker. And they are, I like to use the word richer so much, I don't know why, but it is richer in every way.

Richer in experience, you know, is everything just gets better. So have a think, just have a think. If I was to think of a specific goal, a dream that I have, something I want to do, and it could be today or anytime.

Just imagine, having already got it, what would it feel like? The feeling of the wish fulfilled. How would I think and talk to myself, my inner voice, the pictures I make in my mind, having already got it? And then how would I move? My physiology, how would I breathe? How would I walk? How would I talk? And then just go with those three wonderful ways of being. I don't know if I made sense in any of that.

It's just something I just had to come and talk about. This just came into my mind and I thought, do you know what, I'm going to record this really, really quite quickly. So I hope it made sense.

I'm going to use this as a basis for a longer podcast, so we can really get deep into it and then have a process, I think, to get the whole thing together. And we should be good, I think, for everyone, and me included. So I'll be able to do it too.

Anyway, if there's anything that you want, as you know, if there's a particular dream and goal you want and you're having problems, just email me, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com, get it right, Cloughie, and we'll find something for your process or direct you into somewhere of how to get what you need. Okay? Enjoy, because it's time to fly. Oh, by the way, you can share this if you want.

Why not share how to get goals, how to get success. Be nice on it to your fellow mates. Time to fly.

Bye-bye. So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe. It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people.

And we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them. And this will help, help the podcast, it will help you, and it will help, well, everyone that you know. So if you just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you know.

That's the only cost. Pay it forward to everyone. And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet earth of ours and the people in it.

Let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay. Okay.

You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough.

It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

Why You Don’t Succeed and How To Why do so many people fail to succeed while others break through and create the life they dream of?

In this episode of the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast, I dive into four powerful questions that can change how you think about success, failure, and the choices you make every day. Are you just settling? Trying to move mountains? Wishing life was easy? Or constantly struggling?

Here’s the thing — success isn’t about either/or. It’s about this AND that. It’s about striving, celebrating the plateaus, reviewing your values, and then springboarding forward with even more clarity and energy.

• You’ll discover: Why settling keeps you stuck in the “I wish I had” syndrome How moving mountains without balance makes you lose what you value most The secret power of the plateau and why it’s not failure but fuel
• How to build harmony (not balance) into your journey to success
• The five keys to success that pull it all together

If you’ve ever felt stuck, stalled, or doubted yourself on the way to your goals, this episode is for you. By the end, you’ll know how to pause, review, and reignite your path — and you’ll be ready to step into the top few percent who actually succeed.

Listen now, share with a friend who needs this, and let’s make success inevitable.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/459-why-you-dont-succeed-and-how-to

Oh! And if you want to see the video recording as well here's the link https://youtu.be/CyYemcp5nJw

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Good day, good morning, good afternoon, and any of all that stuff. Why don't you achieve success? Do you know what? I'm going to go straight into this with two, three, maybe four questions and see if they resonate with you. Here's the first one.

Are you simply just settling for what you have? You know, that settle for what you've got. It's that balance. And you know what I think about balance.

It's shit. But never mind. Just see if that sort of resonates with you.

Are you just settling for what you have? Or, are you moving mountains to get what you want? Are you moving mountains to get your dreams, your goals? Do you really put every effort in? Do you see every moment of the day what you're looking for, the smell of success, and you're going for it every hour of the day? Now those two questions I heard from a guy called Alex Horowitz. I think that's how you pronounce his name. Superb, lovely guy, lovely guy.

Loves his questions and questioning himself and human behaviour. Here's your third question. Similar vein, similar vein.

Do you want it easy? Do you want it easy? That's life that is. No stress, no worry, no effort. You're just gonna be happy.

This is what life's about. Doing nothing with no stress, no worry, no push, no pull. Imagine what that looks like.

You know, dream on. Because that's all you'll be doing. But we'll get into that, we'll get into that.

Or, do you want to struggle? Do you want to struggle? Do you want to fight? Do you want to fight for your dreams? Do you want to fight for what you want? What you haven't got yet? What you're going for? Now what does that look like when you're really fighting every moment of the day for what you want in life? Now those two came from Simon Sinek, another great guy. Another guy who poses great questions. And I heard both of those because give credit where it's really due.

A guy called Chris from Modern Wisdom, the Modern Wisdom podcast. He has brilliant guests who ask brilliant questions. And they spurred me on because I thought to myself, you know, why don't you achieve success? Because you've got these four different ways.

You can simply just settle for what you've got. Or you can move mountains. Or you can just have it easy, set the bar low.

Or you can struggle, set the bar really high. The thing is, some may say that you don't even have a choice. But you do.

Because you choose from any one of those four, don't you? Because one of those four will probably fit the way you strive to get your goals. Or you strive and don't get your goals. Because if you're just settling, or you just want it easy, dreaming on, it's a bit like The Law of Attraction, The Secret, where people watch that bloody film 100 times and said, I've seen this film so many times, but nothing is happening.

Yeah, because you haven't got a few hours. You have to do it as well. But you've got, everyone has a choice.

Even though, even if we choose to do nothing, it's a choice. You see, if you're just going to settle for something and want it easy, you would forget that effort reaps its rewards. Until it doesn't.

If there's no effort, you ain't going to get any rewards. Unless you're blooming lucky and someone gives you something, and then you don't deserve it really, do you? And the thing is when you put no effort in, you just dream on. Dreaming is good by the way, but just doing nothing towards it.

You get that line of boredom, that line of balance of your life, which you know what I think about. And then you get a syndrome. And what's that syndrome, Cluffy? I'm going to bloody tell you what that syndrome is.

It is the syndrome of, I'd wish I'd. Oh, if only I'd. Yeah, if only I'd syndrome or I wish I'd syndrome.

Because that's when we do, or that's what we do. We look back at what we could have done, what we should have done. And do you know what? All we get is regret, sadness.

And then we go, oh, well, you know, it wasn't my fault. The world was against me. And that's bollocks.

Excuse me, I just left myself there, but I don't care. But there is a place for it in success. And going for your dreams, really? There's a place for that settling and just dreaming and being at peace and calm.

There bloody well is, but I'm not going to tell you just yet. I'm going to tell you in a minute. You see, when we try to move mountains, and you're living in that bloody struggle, and you're putting every bit of effort, every sinew, every bit of energy you have, and you're absolutely knackered, you're tired out, but you still keep striving, you're pushing on, you're pushing on.

We talked about this before. Things sometimes work out. And sometimes you get exactly what you want.

You got your dream, but you left so many things behind. Other things you valued. Because we talk about, you, we have a clash of values.

What we don't consider when we're really pushing for those goals is what we may lose. We think about what we're going to gain. Oh, I'm going to gain this and this and this.

But you forget what you may lose, what you are trading off for to get this goal. And that's a question, again, that no one asks until they look back and it's too late. And then you get that bloody syndrome again.

What syndrome? I wish I'd, if only I'd. And that's what you think. And neither of those are good.

But, but, but, but, but, but, but, here's the but. And there is a but sometimes. What happens is when you plan your goals properly, you strive for them.

Yes, you have to move mountains occasionally. You have to put effort in, but you have to check your values. You check, making sure that you're happy with what you're going to lose.

Or you mitigate it and you've mitigated it and you get, well, okay, I'm not going to push this hard and that hard, but I'm going to make sure I keep my family in direct. I'm going to get my health going as well. I've got to do this.

I've got to get things in harmony. Remember harmony, not balance. They're in harmony, which will create a sort of balance.

But inevitably, inevitably, it always happens. You get this sharp rise of success, movement, motivation. I'm really going for it.

Things are happening. And then something happens. You think, actually, it's not going as fast as it was.

It seems to be standing still. And then you ask the inevitable question, am I going backwards? And you're not, by the way. You think, this is disaster.

You think I've failed because I'm no longer moving forward. I'm stuck. I'm here to tell you, you're not.

Trust me, you're not because you've come to the inevitable plateau. You see, this is the time to settle. And this is the difference by moving mountains and settling, keeping your energy going.

Because what happens is you have to integrate all the things you've learned, the movement you've made, the successes you've got, where you are. And what happens is, it's as if we do stop growing, but the curve is still going up. And then it just stops for a little while.

But when you know this is happening, celebrate, celebrate. Why the hell would you celebrate? Because you know, in a very short while, you're going to use this as a springboard and it's going to zoom off again. Because that's what's going to happen.

So when you get this inevitable plateau, take some time out, breathe. Maybe think about your dream. Time to review.

What have I learned? Look forward to it. And as you review where you've been, how far you've come, how close you are to what you're looking for, have you addressed all those values? Have you mitigated all those clashes of values? Are you sure you've got this harmony going? And then you look towards what you're looking for. Well, that's where you look, but look towards your goal, your dream, your project, whatever you're doing.

And you get that picture. You've got the big picture, what gives you that wonderful feeling of the wish fulfilled. And you go, yeah, I'm still here.

And you're getting energy now, you're energising yourself. Before you start to move mountains again, and you strive. And it's not a struggle.

That's the thing, because you're striving with that feeling of the wish fulfilled, because you're fulfilling a plan now. That big picture, let's say that again, that big picture. But you're looking at the smaller steps with the feeling of the wish fulfilled, the feeling of I've got it already.

And this feeling is going to maintain all my energy all the way through. And guess what? There'll be another plateau. And you're going to think, oh, I'm stuck again.

But now you know, you can celebrate, sit back just for a moment or two, review, knowing that this is time that your mind, your unconscious mind, your body is just integrating everything that you've done. And the thing about those four questions, think about what I just said, by the way. It's important.

Because I'm going to rattle on. But let's go back to those four questions, moving mountains, settling for, do you want to struggle? Would you want it easy? It's not all. They're not this or that.

And never ever think of, I have to do this or that. It's this and that. Because this and that makes the whole.

One side never does it. There's always two sides to everything. In fact, there's three sides.

The other one is the truth. But when you get to that truth bit, you know you're going to be whole. And the thing is about, there's a presupposition NLP.

Talked about presuppositions before. What are they? Well, they're just useful assumptions, aren't they? But this useful assumption is, and it's a fucking brilliant one. Every process should produce wholeness.

And that wholeness is what brings us satisfaction, brings us joy, brings us bliss, brings us into that ah-ha state. And that's what we're doing here. So it's not this or that.

It's this and that and the pause. And all of that, if you notice, is within the five keys to success. I've banged on about that so many times.

But the thing is, that's what people forget to tell you. By the way, you can find the five keys to success in about three or four different episodes and hypnosis track. Where do you get that from? ballcluffonline.com.com. All there.

The thing is, no one tells you this. No one. But someone told me this.

They told me this in my very first training. When I was training to be a master hypnotist. They told me, you're going to learn so much so quickly, and then you're going to plateau.

And when you plateau, fucking celebrate. Well, he didn't swear, not like me. But fucking celebrate, knowing that you've got to a point where you're going to suddenly use it as a springboard to move on.

So don't stop. Don't even think about giving up. Think about giving more when the time is right.

It's time to reassess your goal. Reassess where you are. Review, notice where you're going.

What else do you what have you learned? How can you use that learning? Get some bloody decent questions going and think about it. Because the thing is, when you get this into your neurology, I was going to say into your noggin or whatever, but you know, that's condescending. I didn't mean to be like that.

What I'm saying is, when we, because I had to get it too, when we get this, and we understand the plateau, and we understand the need for harmony, and we now understand everything about this, it means we are now in the top percentile of success, people who create success, because all the other fuckers, they give up. And we're celebrating, getting ready to go again. So in some ways, old Mr. Cynic and Mr. Horowitz, they were both right, weren't they? But they're both right.

But who cares? And I'm really pleased that two men of who I regard as having really good thinking brains, sort of had it. But they spurred me on to think of how you connect it. Because if you just connect that, that pause, that plateau, it's not or, it's and.

I hope, because I always hope this, don't I? That I conveyed this in a way that is articulate. Don't think it probably was, but it hopefully was a bit articulate. It was meaningful, understandable, and motivates you to look for that plateau.

And keep striving until you get there. And then use it to strive even more. Because you are going to be in that top few percent of people who succeed in life.

And you're going to be the example that you can show others that it's all possible. Not giving up, moving on, waiting, reassessing, reviewing, all that stuff. Now, even having said all of that, you may say, hey Cluffy, I understand it.

You made perfect sense. You took what these two guys said, and you've put it together in such a wonderful way. But you may think that, or something similar.

But then you go, but when I'm on that plateau, I really need some help. I need some help on how to review, how to pause, how to, you know, regroup as it were. Well, if you do, buddy, email me.

I've told you so many thousand times before. Please email me, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Very few people do, and you should. Ask me a question.

Because the people who have, have always got so much value. They've got answers to the questions. They've got not a person, it was sort of a personal episode, that just doesn't come out with their name on it.

But they know that episode was written for them. And everyone else got the benefit of it. And it does me the great thing of making me think that you're doing me a favour.

You're doing me a favour. So thanks for that. Anyway, you go get on now.

You go strive and think of every time you think, well, it's either this or that. You go, bollocks. Cluffy said it's and.

Where's the and in this? And share. And share. Share this episode to everyone you can think of, because they all need to know it, don't they? Have fun.

And if you enjoy the video, I would love to know, because it takes a bit of a time to do this, and I'm not very good at it. But if you want more videos like this, as opposed to just the audio, let me know. Thank you so much.

Enjoy, because it's time to fly.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

Breaking Out of the Herd Are you ready to step out of the herd and be you? In this five-minute quickie, I’m diving into the power of embracing your uniqueness. We all conform at times, but what if living your true self — with kindness, courage, and selfless service — is exactly what the world needs?

Inspired by David Goggins’ words, this episode is about breaking free from the mould, shaking off imposter syndrome, and showing up as the uncommon person you really are. Because when you do, you don’t just change yourself… you inspire others to do the same.

👉 Tune in, reflect, and take one small step today to live as your real, authentic self.

Please share what you learn and the episode too:

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq510-breaking-out-of-the-herd/

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey my friend. A five minute quickie.

And it's all about being unique. Because I think you're unique. I know I'm unique.

But we're all unique, aren't we? And the thing is, why don't we show our uniqueness? Why don't we express it? Why do we conform? Conform to the normal, whatever the normal is. Conform to, just be the herd. And who wants to be part of the herd? But I think sometimes we are.

Now, David Goggins said a wonderful thing. And I made a note of this because it stuck with me. He said, when people don't understand you, you're there.

When people don't understand you, you're there. Because that's living an uncommon life amongst uncommon people. Being the uncommon person in a crowd of uncommon people, that's really, really, really unique.

And obviously, he is really unique. You know, he's famous. Stay hard, MF.

You can make up what the MF. So, in this little few minutes, I want you to consider, consider music, just sitting down, taking a little breath, and considering, are you, well, are you prepared to break out the mould? The mould of where you are now to what you'd like to be, who you'd like to be, who you really are. To express yourself in the way that you dress, the way you speak, not being just outrageous for sake, because that's just being a tit.

Excuse me. But it is, isn't it? But being you, expressing the things that you've learned, sharing with people, you know, break out the mould and actually be kind. A lot of people aren't.

And also selfless service, you know, doing things without any expectation of return is unique, is special, is out of the mould. Maybe you want to consider that. And probably, there are parts of your life, different contexts where you are, where you are unique, you're being your true self, where people maybe don't quite understand you because you're there.

But I want you to consider where you're not. And maybe if you were to be that you, to be a little bit vulnerable, not be whole way, but just a little bit, to have the courage. You see, if you were to be the real you, express yourself, come out of the herd, be that uncommon person, then I think people would look at you and go, I wish.

I wish I was brave enough to do that. That's the only reason sometimes they try to pull you back down to a poppy syndrome. Don't leave me behind.

I don't want you to succeed because it shows me for what I am. But you can flip that. Because if you can be the change you want to see in yourself, be the real you, you will be the change you want to see in others or others want to see in themselves, because you become that living example, a living example of just being true to ourselves, you know, not being idiots, not being, you know, out there just for out there sake, but being true to ourselves.

And especially with that selfless service, especially with that being kind, just being you. So maybe just have a little think. Maybe you're going to do a longer podcast on this.

I'm not sure. But I just want you to consider. That's what these musings are about, aren't they? Five minutes to muse about, you know, where am I going with my life? This might be just the one life we have, by the way.

So why restrict it into, you know, conforming to a normal, to an average, because, you know, the average is nothing. We want to be on the top side of being our true self. Have a little think, have a look, let me know, let me know what you think.

Are you? Because if you're not living that way, and there's a reason for it, you know, you want to, but you find, you know, maybe you're unconfident, or maybe you have anxiety or have stress or you, you have imposter syndrome and all that bloody old stuff. Let me know feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Let me know by email, and we'll produce something for you or I'll direct you into a place where to find the right information, but we'll do something for you. So please do that and share this.

Let's get everyone being uncommon. Okay? Stay hard. I wish I could do that.

Have more fun than you can stand. Live with so much passion that you're happy for no reason. Okay? See you next time, my friend.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited

[Hypnosis]

View Details

3 New Hypnosis Tracks With My Compliments I’ve just re-edited and transformed three of my favourite podcast processes into real hypnosis tracks — multi-layered sessions designed to get deep into your unconscious mind.

These tracks include:

• Making decisions with unconscious clarity
• Making anxiety your best friend
• Spinning anxiety away (weird, but it works!)

They join nearly 70 free hypnosis audios I’ve created for the Personal Development Unplugged community — all downloadable, no credit cards, no catches.

👉 Get instant access: paulcloughonline.com/podcast

Inside, you’ll also discover my best tip for using hypnosis effectively: set your intention before you press play — it supercharges results.

Share this with friends who could use a little help. Change is quick, easy, and waiting for you.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

3 New Hypnosis Tracks With My Compliments

Hello my friends.

Now, a little while ago I recorded three longer podcast episodes that contained processes. Processes for considering decisions using your unconscious mind but also making anxiety your best friend and also spinning anxiety away which is really weird but it's a lovely process. It just works and I use all these processes with my clients and they just seem to work and what I wanted to do was to re-edit them and put them into real hypnosis tracks.

I call them real hypnosis tracks because it's not the relaxer therapy it's the real stuff but I made it slightly different. I've made them multi-layered so you're getting information into different hemispheres, different places, all over the place. My voice comes to you from everywhere and goes in everywhere and it makes such a difference because you can then let yourself go.

So what I've done I've done those tracks now and I've now uploaded them to my special place. My special place where I've got nearly 70, probably I have got 70 hypnosis tracks now and they're all complementary. They're free.

They're for you. It's my bit of giving back to the world as it were. So if you'd like them and if you're not a member of the podcast community, the Personal Development Unplugged podcast community, then all you have to do is go to pawcluffonline.com forward slash podcast and you'll get a return email from me.

There's no credit cards because as I said they're completely complementary and you'll get a link and you press that link and there you're taken to this wonderful website. A wonderful website with say 70 processes with these three included and you can download them because that's why I put them on this separate website. So you can download them.

You don't have to worry about them in Wi-Fi cutting out. You can put them from a PC to a phone. You can have them in anywhere.

You can even share them but I'd rather you share the link and say go and get your own link. So it's personal pawcluffonline.com forward slash podcast. Share that link with everybody and they can have access to all those wonderful processes because I love hypnosis.

I've been doing it for 25 years. I learned initially from a great man called Wilf Proudfoot who was recognized as one of the greatest hypnotist, hypnotherapist around but he kept a very low profile. I didn't know that at the time but I learned from him and then learned from others and me and two of my three sons have continued to develop our own special processes and hypnotic way of putting them together.

That's Luke Clough at Cambridge Hypnotherapy and that's Joseph Clough who's got a massive, again a massive set of hypnosis tracks on his app and I think it's called Joseph Clough Hypnosis. But that's his, that's theirs, but mine is pawcluffonline.com forward slash podcast. Go there and they'll say no credit cards and just enjoy.

Go down the list and see if there's anything that just jumps out to you because hypnosis is one of the most powerful ways to create change in yourself. But I want to give you a little tip. A little tip.

What type of tip is this Cloughie? I'm going to tell you right now because what it is, is don't just press play when it comes to the hypnosis track. Please don't just press play. So many people do that and what happens? Well they get a general result because they haven't set their intention and I want you to set your intention.

So whatever track it is, say it was the spinning away anxiety. You say to yourself I'm going to listen to this hypnosis track and we are going to get rid of anxiety. We're going to spin it away because I want to feel and you just say how you want to feel and then press play.

It's all about setting your intention. If you want to make that decision and you go to that track, you go well this is the decision I'd like to make. I want to choose between these.

I'm a bit undecided. I want to find the answer. Then press play and with all of them.

I mean if you go to anybody else's by the way, please just set your intention inside. You can say it out loud. You can say it just in your head.

What are you hoping to achieve? What do you expect to achieve? What do you want to achieve? And when you say that, get a little feeling and you even add the words this or something better and then press play. That will make the processes that much better because you're now going to get a specific result because you've set a specific, if I could say it specifically, you've set a specific request to your unconscious mind and it works so much better when you do that. So that's what it's all about.

Now here's a question to you. If when you look through that list and you go, do you know what Paul Cuffey? Have you got something for this? Whatever this is. This is my issue.

Email me please. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Now the podcast email, email me that and we'll either find you, direct you to the place or I'll create one for you and it'll go out to everyone too. It'll all be anonymous so you're not going to have your name up there.

It's just the issue. So do that for me. Please share this share this little video if you would or share the podcast audio to all your friends because everyone needs a little bit of help sometime.

Sometimes we don't think we need it but if we nip any issue in the bud, that's it. You've nipped it in the bud. It's gone.

It will finish. You'll have learned from it and therefore you will never need those negative emotions, the limiting beliefs that were contained in it because you've learned from it. It's when you allow it to continue to grow and then it starts to generalize into different areas of your life and that's when you really need then to go to a therapist.

You know the type I'm going to say? Someone who's a master hypnotist. Yeah hypnosis. Someone who's a practitioner of NLP and timeline therapy.

Get those and you will see results in one, two, three sessions. That's all we ever do. So there you go.

I hope this is a little bit of, well it's just me giving back, me giving back and that's what I wanted to do. So until the next proper, I say proper, proper longer episode or the five minute quickie where we get to muse about stuff, until the next time my friend, please go listen and have fun with that hypnosis. It's easy to change.

It's quick to change. All you have to do is set your intention.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

Restoring Work-Life Balance (But I Hate the Word “Balance”!) Work-life balance. Sounds nice, doesn’t it? But let’s be honest — balance is boring! Life isn’t a flat line; it’s ups, downs, twists, and turns. What we really want isn’t balance… it’s harmony.

In this quick 5-minute episode, we explore why chasing “balance” often leaves you frustrated and how to create the illusion of balance through harmony. You’ll learn how to spot those niggling “off-kilter” feelings, uncover hidden clashes between your values, and make small, powerful micro-corrections that bring life back into flow.

Whether it’s work vs. relationships, health vs. ambition, or just feeling stretched in two directions — I’ll give you the tools to notice, question, and adjust. And the best part? These aren’t big life overhauls — they’re tiny shifts that keep your energy, motivation, and relationships thriving.

So if you’ve been feeling pulled in all directions, this episode will help you realign without losing the spark that makes life exciting.

🔗 Listen now, share with someone who needs it, and start living in harmony — not flatline “balance.”

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-509-restoring-work-life-balance

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey my friends, a quick five minute musing about balance. I hate balance. But work-life balance.

You know, what does that mean? Work-life balance. You see, life is not a flat line. It doesn't happen that way.

It's ups and it's down and it's all over. But it's not a flat line. It's not imbalance.

Because balance is boring. It's so boring. Think of just living your life with just a flat line.

What would you see? Wouldn't it be grey? I think it'd be grey. In my mind it's grey. I've just been looking out there because I know what's happening next.

And you know, I haven't got really many goals because if I have goals I've got to extend myself and push in different directions. You know, if I want to do something this exciting it might challenge me. So that's going to take me off balance.

I get that funny feeling that, oh, I don't like that. God, that's not the way to live, is it? That's not the way to live. So what is? What is the way to live? I'm going to tell you.

Slow down Cluffy. It's about harmony. And I've talked about this before, but harmony creates the balance that doesn't exist.

Which is a weird thing, isn't it? Because I just said it doesn't exist. But it's that harmony that gives the illusion of balance. Because when you need to do one thing it comes along and you spend a little bit more effort there.

A little bit more motivation there. And you have to give a little bit. But then you come back and you give a little bit back to that bit and let that other thing go.

But you're always living, not on the edge, but sort of on the edge. But you're living towards your goals. Doing things that make your life a zing.

Yeah, harmony. Allowing you to do one particular thing and then come back and find something else. And be so interesting and interested in life.

That's what it does. And the thing is, you know when this is not happening. Because you feel out of balance.

And I keep saying balance doesn't exist. But when you feel a little bit out of kilter. You feel a little bit being pushed and pulled.

Maybe that's a better way to explain it. When you're being pushed and pulled in different directions. Or you feel like you are.

It's as if there's this blooming old conflict going on. And that's what we call it in this old NLP therapy type world. You've got a conflict.

And generally they're conflict of values. I want to do this. But that means I'm going to have to give up a little bit of that.

And if I give a little bit of that, it doesn't feel good. But what we don't understand is, as long as we don't go 100 miles to the left and let go of to the right or whichever way you want to put it. But we know we make a decision, a choice, that we're going to put a little bit more effort into this little bit for the moment.

But we're going to look after the other bit. So just think, sometimes when you're feeling a little bit off kilter, where am I feeling this? Sometimes you feel it in your body, well you'll feel it in your body anyway. And notice that.

We've talked about sitting with your feelings. But also just go below the surface. Is this about my relationships? Is it about my career? Is it the clash between the two? Is it a clash between my health and whatever? Look to see the two things that are rubbing up together and causing this feeling of being out kilter.

Because when you do that, and you notice that clash of values, you can do something about it. And when you do something about it, the thing is, don't go mad. Because a lot of people go, oh, I've got to do all of this.

So you create the reverse. Another clash of values because you're spending too much time in the other way. No, micro connections, corrections.

So again, that was a correction. Micro corrections. Just look at taking action, but action in those small steps.

Review, review how you're going. Check inside for those feelings. Does it feel better? Does it feel, yeah, we're going to be a little bit torn to one side, but we know we've made the right decision.

And we're going to make amends. We're going to keep an eye. We've only parked ourselves from one side to the other.

Because we know by doing a little bit more over here, we'll make life better. But we have to look after the others. We don't ignore them, neglect them.

And when you do that, I think your unconscious mind goes, okay, I'm going to give you energy over here. But then we're going to put energy over there. But it's that real noticing, becoming aware.

It's an awareness, awareness of that, that funny feeling where things just don't feel quite right. And instead of just pushing through, we just take note. We acknowledge it.

And we ask, what is this about? What are the things that I'm pulling away from or pushing towards too much? What could I do? What steps can I do and make the difference? There you go. I hope that's given you something to think about. That's all I want to do here in this five-minute quickie is just to give you an idea of what to become aware of, those niggly feelings, and just to sit with them.

Don't ignore them. Don't push them away. Don't just plow ahead and push, you know, push through.

Just take a moment or two. It only takes a minute or two when you take a deep breath. And then just ask, you settle in and ask, what's happening here? What do I need to do? What am I doing that if I stopped doing would allow this balance, this harmony to come back into the right kilter? Or what am I not doing if I started doing? Would bring this out of balance back into harmony.

When you ask those questions, you just seem to know, you might not get the answer straight away, but you get that feeling of knowing and knowing becomes a behavior. There you go. Play around with that.

Have a think. Let me know if there's something that's really grating you though. There is this clash and we'll work something out.

Come back to me on personal. No, it's not at all cluffy. It's feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Come back to me.

Just give me an idea and we'll either point you in the right direction or do an episode. I'm sure we can get an episode. I'm going to try and do a longer pod on this anyway, because I think it's so important.

We've done other things on values, but I think it's so important because it just keeps coming up and it affects so many people in our lives, not just ourselves. But it's that important to do take a bit of time, get that feeling of amused and just notice what happens. Let me know.

And please share this podcast if you because we all have these little moments of uncertainty and just a little bit of advice. A little bit of doing something slightly different, acknowledging things and asking the right questions can change your life completely and keeps relationships where they should be. Keeps the work life balance, whatever that bloody thing is, in harm.

So until the next time, my friend, I will see you on the longer podcast or the five minute quickie. Have fun. Bye bye.

So many more people and we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them. And this will help help the podcast. It will help you and it will help everyone that you know.

So if you just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you really well know. That's the only cost. Pay it forward to everyone.

And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet Earth of ours and the people in it. Let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay.

Okay. You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning.

You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend.

Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

But I Can't Afford A Therapist 💥 “I can’t afford therapy…” Sound familiar? You're not alone. And you're not stuck. In this longer unplugged episode, we tackle one of the most common barriers to better mental health: not being able to access or afford professional support.

🎙️ But what if that didn’t have to stop you?

This is not about ignoring the problem or playing it down. It's about taking back control—step by step—and discovering powerful, proven ways to feel better, move forward, and heal… without spending a penny.

You’ll learn:

• Why feeling stuck is natural—but change is possible
• The real damage of waiting, blaming, and self-berating (and how to stop)
• A DIY approach to emotional healing that’s empowering, practical and free
• How to journal your way from confusion to clarity
• The one question you must stop asking—and the one that will change everything
• Why walking and breathing (yes, really!) can shift your whole internal world
• How to create your own step-by-step roadmap from where you are to where you want to be
• And access to my free hypnosis tracks to support your journey

💬 Plus: Why giving up is not an option, and how to feel safe, steady and hopeful—even when life feels heavy.

This isn’t fluff. It’s action. It’s simple because it works. And it’s here for you right now.

🎧 Listen, share, and let’s start a movement of healing—together.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/457-but-i-cant-afford-a-therapist/

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

#457 But I Can't Afford A Therapist

Hey, back to the longer podcast with me Paul. Personal development unplugged. And I've been hearing quite a few things about people getting anxious because they can't get access to professional support for their mental health.

You know, they're not feeling in a good state and not being able to get access to someone who can help them actually is creating more anxiety, more stress. And therefore obviously that state gets worse, health gets worse and everything just goes tits up basically. So what do you do? What do you do when you can't get any access to that professional support? What do you do? What do you do where you could blame everything else? Everyone else? Because the world is unfair.

Because it is unfair, it's totally unfair. You know, it's not, well, it's just unfair. Or you could have a pity party, which is a bit like blaming the world, isn't it? And just have a pity party by yourself.

You could do. Or you could just hide away. Hide away, not let anybody see that you're down and hide away.

You can hide away in plain sight, by the way, because you can put your defences up. Or you could show everybody, you know, and look for pity, maybe. You can also talk down to yourself, because talking down to yourself and berating yourself, well, that's what we do, isn't it? Or you ask yourself some really stupid questions.

Things like, why is this happening to me? Why is this happening to me? Who the fuck cares why? You don't need to know why. If you knew why, would it change the situation? Not one bit. What's another stupid question? Well, how bad can this get? Or could this get any worse? Really stupid fucking questions.

Why are they stupid? I'm sorry about swearing, but I just wanted to rock your boat a little bit, because those questions, you're asking your unconscious mind, because it's listening to what you say, whether it's outside or generally we do it on that with our internal voice, it's constantly listening to what you say. And we'll try to answer the questions. So if you ask, how bad can this get? Or can this get? How worse will it get? Could it be? Your unconscious mind will make up pictures in your mind of how things could be so disastrous, traumatic.

You know, all totally understandable, by the way, all totally understandable, but yet they don't do a fucking thing. It makes things worse, all natural, all natural. But so is the answer.

You see, I'm going to ask you a question. How's all that working for you when you do that? How's it working for you? I'll tell you how it's working for you. It's not working at all, not at all.

You know, all that talking, wallowing, those questions, your unconscious mind is just going to go into overdrive to try to answer you, and find answers that fit. And it just doesn't work, does it? So I'm pleased now that I've made you feel so much better. Or could I made you feel any worse? Because dying like that will only get worse, by the way.

And again, that's what we do, because we sort of give up hope a little bit. Because I can't get, I want to keep going in my, these old quotation marks, professional help. Because there's all sorts of professional help.

And some are really good. And some will maybe drag things out for me too long. I hear people being years in therapy.

I asked myself, why would you spend years in therapy when you can change pretty quickly? Now, let's consider professional help. Now, you know what I think about professional help? Professional help for me would be going to see a hypnotherapist who's a master hypnotist. Absolutely brilliant at hypnosis.

Being able to talk to your unconscious mind and guide it into finding new ways. An NLP, I say that again, an NLP practitioner as well. If you get a master practitioner, good, but a practitioner of NLP, who's practiced NLP, who loves NLP, puts it with hypnosis.

Oh my, you are going to get something good. And then add to that timeline therapist. You have got, for me, the three cores of therapy that create instant change, or virtually instant change.

Now you could say, well, I can't afford it. But think about this. Some of us can afford it.

Can be, you know, but if you think about three sessions, what would happen if you just saved up for three sessions? Do your best if you could. And there's this one option, by the way, not the only option. I'm just considering how you could try to get a therapist.

So you find a gets things done quickly. And then you ask them, you know, how much and all this stuff, and then you save up for it. Because you want to keep it pretty, pretty tight.

You don't want one a month. Because in that month in between things come back and bite you on the bum. You want it done quickly, get the momentum going.

Now you can ask, do you do concessionary rates? Because I honestly can't afford it. And if you honestly can't afford it, most therapists that I know of will go, I can help your will. And maybe you can repay that, because you've got a skill that they don't have.

Even if it's only cutting the grass, cleaning the windows, you know, doing something, maybe you're good at websites, you know, or internet, things like that will just, you know, you barter. So if you just look at your options, find a good therapist, look at your options. But what if you can't do that? That's the question, isn't it? I honestly cannot do that.

I have no money whatsoever. Okay, I've got no money whatsoever. So what are we going to do? Give up? No.

Well, I'm just saying that, again, just to shake you up a little bit. Because who would suggest giving up? You might feel like giving up. But no, that's not an option.

Giving up is not an option. Because there's loads that we can do. There is, you can do things for yourself.

Because that's what a therapist is really doing, is helping you heal yourself. That's all they're doing. They just know some processes.

And you can get not lazy, but you can get them to do it with you. It's not a do-to. Because if you think it's a do-to, you ain't going to get the result.

It's a do-with. You work with your therapist. So what are these loads of things you can do? By yourself, with yourself.

And the thing is, when you do that, you do start, guess what? You feel empowered. Once you just start on the road, even though you might not know exactly where you're going, I'm going to help you with that, you will start to feel empowered because you're taking action. Inspired action.

You know, those five keys to success. That's one of the things you could look at. Five keys to success.

And then put your issue into that five keys to success with what I'm going to tell you now. See, here's the very first thing. And you're going to be shocked.

You really will be shocked. Because the very first thing is, bugger off out for a walk. That's it.

Just get outside. Every bloody day. Get outside.

Whether you walk, whether you jog, whether you run. You just go outside. Walking is excellent.

Just walk at a little pace. Get the heart pumping. Just walk.

And not, yeah, I can't walk very far, Paul. Great. Don't walk very far.

And then tomorrow, walk a little bit farther. And then the next day, walk a little bit farther. You know, 10 yards further every day.

You'll get there. And when you're walking, sometimes you can just stop. And guess what? Bloody breathe.

I said, just breathe for a moment or two, and then walk. Carry on walking. Look for the beauty while you're walking.

Because there's so many wondrous things you can see. Look up into the rooftop. You'll see different architecture.

You'll see different things in buildings. If you're outside, you'll see the trees. Like me, I've got a clifftop.

I can see the sea, but all other things. You have to do it though. It's so simple.

And the reason it's simple is because it just bloody works. And it works because it's so bloody simple. All you have to do is do it.

And to do it, you have to do it by, you know, put it in your diary every day. Mark off when you're going to go for a walk and stick to it. Unless anything really dramatic, traumatic takes you away.

And then you reschedule for that day. Get some movement in your body. Breathe outside.

Oh, but it's raining. It's cold. I don't care.

Wrap up. Walk. And I want you to get a little, whether it's one of those big diaries with squares of every day, or whether you make up a little thing with one to 31 and they're little squares.

And at the top of those squares, it's my walking. And every day you put a cross or a tick and you keep that going. You do not let that chain break because it's only bloody walking, but you'll be amazed what happens when you walk.

One is obviously you're breathing, you're doing, your body's getting better, some endorphins or whatever chemicals happen makes you feel good. But also it clears your mind to think of new things. And what about those things? What about those things? Well, here's the things I want you to do in between your walking.

And it is writing it down. And you might go, Oh, Paul, not writing it down. Look, do you want to get better or not? Do you want to get more into life or not? Because if you do, you have to put some effort in.

And writing is not effort. And if you don't type it, if you can help it, please don't type it. Write them down because I want you to feel it in your fingers.

Let the words come through that pen, through your muscle. And the first thing I want you to do is write out how you feel right now. And I don't want, Oh, I'm feeling down.

I'm feeling depressed because you're not depressed unless you are depressed by the way. But that's so vague. And it's probably untrue.

You're not depressed. You might be just sad. You might be feeling a little guilty.

You might be feeling a little frustrated. You might be feeling a little bit lonely. But go through those emotions.

Try to go below that, you know, I'm feeling depressed. Well, what about my depression? And it's not depression maybe. But let's say it's not depression.

Let's look for the things. Well, actually, you know, it's down. And my down feeling is, well, it's not in every context, is it? You know, when you're asleep, you're probably not down.

You know, when you have your breakfast, you might be, you might not be. What are the contexts in which you feel these feelings? And they may change from context to context. Now, I feel unconfident in this context.

What about unconfidence? What is it? Well, it's an anxiety about. Try to find the little abouts. So when that person looks at me, well, you know, it's only that one person at work that gives me that anxiety.

But that's creating that anxiety about the whole day at work. Now I've got specific. It's only that sod over there.

Okay, that's what we do. Write them down. And keep those contexts nice and clear.

Because if you keep them clear, you'll know exactly when, where and how you do what you're doing now. Because you have to know what, how you feel. And you know that because you know that because you're feeling it right now, you're doing this.

And this all is behavior, by the way, you are doing these behaviors. And can you change your behavior in a bloody instant? So write them down. And then I want you to do the reverse.

How do you want to feel? I want to feel happy. No, you don't. Happy is so bloody.

Well, for a start, it's so general, too big. And it's not gonna be in every context. Because, you know, being happy in every context is not the right thing.

You know, if we're going to a funeral, we don't want to seem happy. You're happy we had those people in our lives. But you know, it's not a sad, a sad occasion, rightfully so.

It's appropriate. So I want you to be again, as specific, you know, there's times when I want to be enthused. There's times when I want to feel motivated.

There's times when I feel connected. And what about that connection? What about that motivation? Well, exactly about what? What will it give me? Go into the specifics and develop the richness of what you want in all its lovely layers. Because the thing is, when you write the things out what you want, guess what? You have to feel them.

And the other thing about them is you've had to have felt them before. Because if you didn't know what they were, you wouldn't be able to say how you want to feel. So if you felt them before, we can feel them again.

That's it. Because they're behaviours. And that's what we do.

Now you see, the next bit is seeing the difference between how you feel now, and how you want to feel. And what I want you to do is, like, on a piece of paper, you write down, here's that little bit I'm feeling in that particular context, and here's how I want to feel in that context. And in between, we're going to put, I don't know, four, maybe four or five boxes, little marks, gaps, something you write a little bit in.

Because each one is a step. Because going from how you feel now to how you want to feel is a bloody great big step. Too big to do in one go.

But if you're feeling sad, say, well, maybe you could go from sad to bored. Not a big jump, is it? And bored's a lot better than feeling sad. So I'm going to bored.

And what comes after boredom? Well, boredom, I could be, I don't know, or just that little bit, little bit more excited, just a little excited, not a lot, but just a little bit. So that's the next one. And you work out those intermediate steps.

Because now you have got a way, a path to go from how you're feeling now, to how you want to feel. And you see, you go for each one. And it doesn't really matter how long it's going to take.

It's not going to take very long because you can change from feeling the way you feel now to, say, being bored. How do you do that? Think of a time when you were bored. If we take bored for the example, think of a time when you felt bored before in the past.

Go back in your mind, see what you saw, hear what you heard, be there in that memory and feel bored. Oh, bloody hell, is it that easy? Yeah, feel that bored, that boredom and start, open your eyes and start being bored. You know, being bored with the way you used to feel is a good place to start.

I'm just bored. And then as you get used to feeling bored for a little while, think of the next one. Think of a time when you had it.

Think of one specific, there will be specific times, by the way, in the past, not general, specific time in the past. Go back to that specific time again in your mind. Remember, it doesn't have to be 2020 vision.

Just remember it. Just an awareness will do. Go back into that time.

See what you saw, hear what you heard and feel the bloody feelings. And as you feel those feelings, open your eyes and start living those feelings. Act as if you have those feelings now.

Act as if part of the five keys to success. Yeah. And that's what we're going to do.

And what you're going to do, because you've got this plan, you're going to schedule it, even if it's one day at a time in between your walking. So today I'm going to feel the way I feel. Tomorrow I'm going to feel bored.

And the day after that, I'm going to feel a little excited. The next day after that, I'm going to feel enthused. The next day after that, I'm going to get some energy.

That's what you're going to do. And you schedule it out and you bloody do it. And I know you're going to say, oh Paul, that's so bloody simple to think about.

It is. And the reason it's simple is because it works. And the reason it works is because it's simple.

And we haven't worried about the why. Why all this is happening. No, we're going to say, this is what I want.

And the thing is, more you think about what you want, guess what happens? You could ask those questions. What would it be like to feel that way? What would life be like when I get to feel the way I want? They're the questions you're going to, you know, how could, how good could this get? The opposite to all of those negative questions. And get your unconscious mind going in and finding those things of how good it could be.

It will find opportunities for you to be there. And especially when you keep bloody walking up, because you don't stop. Keep moving, because what you'll find is as you're moving and you're walking and seeing the beauty of the world, you stop to breathe.

You can go and think about the way you want to feel the end result, because that's the feeling of the wish fulfilled. So you just go into that feeling and feel it. Really feel it.

Yes, I've said it's a big jump, but we're just feeling it now. We're not doing it. We're just feeling it.

The more you feel it, the more you're telling your unconscious mind, this is the direction we're headed. This is my goal. This is my aim in mind.

This is where we're going to go. How good could it get? And how safe will I be when I get that feeling? Because I'll be a lot more safer than I was when I was feeling that old way. And it's not not difficult and it doesn't take too long, does it? No, you can just play with it.

Have fun. And just make sure that you're not entertaining any negative stuff or negative people. Keep clear of them.

Don't listen to the news. Social medias can be good for some things, but none of that comparing stuff and none of that stuff that tells you to keep buying stuff and all that. No, you just want uplifting stuff, empowering stuff.

I find those on podcasts. And if you listen to the last little FMQ I did, my favourite podcasts. If you don't know where to look, start with those and then you'll be given, you know, on the app, whatever you choose.

There'll be others that come along and there's some really good uplifting podcasts. There's even one called Personal Development Unplugged, this bloody one. And what I'm going to suggest you do is get your book, a little book and make notes of what you hear.

Don't just listen. Don't just listen. Because if you just listen, when you hear something good, you go, oh, I remember that.

And as you're walking along or doing whatever you're doing in the day, you hear something else, you go, oh, I remember that. One goes in, one goes out. Write them down and then you can review.

Oh, yeah, that's what I'm going to do. And you schedule new things. You're learning new things.

Because what I've asked you to do is not that big. But you can add to it now. Make those notes.

Set your intention when you listen to this stuff. Set your intention. What can I learn from this? I wonder what good things I will notice in this podcast.

What can I learn? And you'll find out then these things will jump out at you when you're listening to those podcasts or you're reading a book. What can I learn from this book? About feeling better. You're telling your unconscious mind, you spot it for me as well.

Then you start asking questions. What else can I do to feel good and safe? Comfortable and safe. You've also got a wonderful set of hypnosis.

There's hypnosis online. My son does a massive app. It isn't very expensive.

Josephcluff.com. I think it's called Joseph Cluff Hypnosis. You can have a look at that. You can come to mine as well.

I've only got 60. He's got thousands. But I've got 65, 70 wonderful processes that you could have.

And they're completely with my compliments. You just go down and look for the one that matches what you're doing right now. There's lots of things of changing your state, setting your goals, the five keys to success, all of that stuff.

Then you can start again, listening, making notes, setting your intention and set your intention when you listen to hypnosis tracks. All there for you. All you have to do for mine is go to paulcluffonline.com forward slash podcast.

And then you can sign up and have access to those whenever you like. You can download them and things like that. And you can ask people.

Ask people for, well, some advice. But I don't really know anybody, Paul. I don't know anybody to ask.

You don't really? Have you asked me? No, you haven't. Send me an email. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Send me a little email of where you are, how you feel, what you want to feel.

And I'll either point you in the right direction or we'll come up with a longer podcast that will address your issue. And what did it cost you? Nada. Apart from a little bit of time.

And all these things don't cost you nothing. Everything I've said now has cost you nothing. And all the time you're walking, you're moving, taking in that fresh air, breathing.

That's it. So the excuse of but I can't afford a therapist doesn't hold water anymore. Because you can find your own way as well.

Okay. I hope you enjoyed that. I hope that I've inspired you to take action, inspired action, massive, continual action.

That is the second key to success. The second key. Have a listen to that.

I've got a couple of episodes and the five cases it says, I've got a hypnosis track to get it installed within you. So have a listen to those. Start taking the action that you need.

And the first one is, when am I going to walk today? There you go. Now I got my list and then I'm gonna do this. You know, everything is available to you and it costs absolutely bugger all.

Do that. So I say, I hope I have conveyed that in an articulated manner. Probably haven't, but I hope I have.

If I haven't, let me know and I'll expound a little bit better. Please tell people what you've learned from this. Because they might say, well, it's not happening to me.

But the advice is really good. Here's what I heard. Teach people.

They might be the ones that just need it. And then share this podcast, if you would. Share it to anyone, because anyone and everyone, because they just might need it.

You'll be doing them a good turn. You really will. And it'll make me feel happy too.

And if you want to mention me in all the podcasts in your social media, that would be awesome too. Just tag me in. Okay.

Have more fun than you can stand. And guess what? Sometimes just feel happy for no reason. See you in another longer podcast or a five minute wiki.

So the 90 seconds of hypnosis tracks. Why have I put hypnosis tracks on a separate website? Well, it's so simple, really. I wanted you to have them all in one place.

So you can look through them all, you can find the particular one you want. I've even made them downloadable. So you can put them on any of your playing devices that you prefer.

You don't need Wi Fi, you don't need the iTunes or whatever, you can put them anywhere you like. You can even burn them onto disk if you want. Where'd you get them? Well, there you go.

I told you it's pawcluffonline.com forward slash podcast. If you're worried about your email address, please don't be because they stay totally safe with me. I only use them to send you out that email and give you access.

Simple as that. I send you a link, a special link, so you and only you can access those hypnosis tracks because I want them just for you. And the other thing about this is you've taken responsibility.

I don't want to make these open to everyone, just random. You have taken responsibility to listen and be part of this community of personal development. And I want to help you.

I want to help you personally to get your dreams, your goals, and therefore I'm giving you these tools, these protocols, these paradigms, whatever you want to call them, but in deep hypnosis. So just enjoy. Have more fun than you can stand with hypnosis.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

In this short yet powerful Five-Minute Quickie episode, we're diving into a question that could seriously supercharge your personal development journey: "How often do you check your progress—and why?"

Cloughie explores the sweet spot between over-checking (hello, obsession and lost motivation!) and under-checking (hello, complacency and drifting off-course). Whether it's your personal goals, weight, mindset, career, or even podcast stats, finding your ideal review rhythm is the key to staying on track, boosting motivation, and making real progress.

You’ll learn:

• Why too much checking can destroy momentum
• Why not checking enough can cost you time and energy
• The hidden fears behind your review habits (fear of failure or fear of success?)
• A simple mindset shift to help you course-correct without self-judgment
• How to schedule reviews that actually work for you

👉 This is your wake-up call to review with intention, stay aligned with your goals, and grow with purpose.

Please share:

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-508-an-important-question-why-and-how-often-do-you-check-your-progress

Got a fear of failure or success story to share? Want help turning it around? Email me at: feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com

And remember, this is all about learning to use your skills, energy, and focus to move forward with confidence.

Oh! And the video link is here: https://youtu.be/rvFN6OWH2zw

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey, 5 Minute Muse and I've got a question for you.

I always ask, when we're setting our goals, we're thinking of our week, setting out our day. I always ask, how often do you review? Or do you review? Do you review what you've done? How far you've come? But I want to take this 5 Minute Muse just a little bit deeper. Just something to think about.

Because I'm sure you do. I'm sure you do review. Do you? I'm sorry about that.

But think about it. Do you check and review your progress? Daily? Weekly? Monthly? Quarterly? Yearly? Maybe never. You see, and it depends what it is, obviously.

Could be a project. It could be your weight. It could be, if you do a podcast or a video and all this stuff.

You know, how many likes, how many downloads, whatever it is. We set our targets, how close we are to the goal. Or we have a goal, we have targets and the review is where are we? Where are we from where we were to where we're going? Let's just take a snapshot so we know what we're doing.

Now, if you do it too often, say you did it daily. Some people, when they're checking things like likes, downloads, might do it hourly. What a waste of time.

It might not be a waste of time. That's me. But it is a waste of time.

You see, if you're checking things too often, then you become obsessed. It's like OCD. You become obsessed by just looking and looking and looking.

But what you're doing, you're looking, but you're not doing anything about it anyway. And you're not seeing results because you can't see results in a little snapshot. Because when you were there, now you're here and no time has passed.

You haven't been able to see the progress. And what happens when you can't see progress? Oh, my motivation goes down. Oh, I'm going to have to keep checking.

But I'm still not doing it. What I'm not doing, I'm not even doing anymore because my motivation has really dropped. Because it's just too much.

You're wasting time. You're wasting effort. Because what you're checking for, your progress, you're not seeing anyway.

But what about when you check too little? Say it was monthly, quarterly, yearly, maybe never. But you do, you go back and go, okay, it's been five or six weeks. Let me just have a check on that thing.

And it could be your weight, your health, could be your downloads, could be your likes. It could be where you are in a project. Could be in your profit and loss.

That's a big one. You look at your profit and loss or something like that, but you haven't done it for maybe six weeks. And you look at it and you go, oh, shit.

I'm off course. I thought I was doing so much better because I just thought I was. I was doing, well, I thought I was doing the right things.

Was I? Well, maybe not. Maybe you were. But the thing is, if you're off course, how do you get back on course? Well, you could try, but you've wasted time because you got bloody complacent.

That's what happens. You get complacent. And when you get complacent because you forgot your goal, you forgot where you were headed, you forgot your aim, and therefore you didn't put in the right effort.

Because you can put in effort. You can do all the urgent stuff. But were you doing the important stuff? You thought you were by doing all the urgent stuff.

But you're off bloody target. And when you're off target by 1%, you get that over six weeks. Shit, you're a long way out.

And then you've got to try to come a long way back. And then again, we lose motivation because we've got, oh, this is difficult. This is hard.

And then we start berating ourselves. What a dick I was. Why didn't I do it more? Now, these are things that happen.

But one question I think we could ask ourselves, and this is where the muse comes in. This is where the muse comes in. What the fuck are you frightened about? Is it that success? Or is it that failure? Just think, what am I frightened about? Why am I checking too much? Or why aren't I checking? I know people are checking because they don't want to see failure.

Because they think they've got a success. I see people check so often because they're really frightened of not being a success. And what's that fear doing to you? Wasting time, wasting effort.

And it's really about, what do I want? Where am I headed? What's my next step? What's my smallest step I can do? And how can I realistically check my progress? Sometimes you have to do it at the end of the day. Did I get as far as I wanted? Because maybe you just wasted the bloody day. And you have to get back on target tonight.

Important. Maybe it's a project where you have to leave it to the end of the week. And then you reassess.

I know when I used to be in business, we used to have an assessment on a Thursday. Not the Friday, Friday afternoon. Because it's too bloody late to finish off the week with a high.

But if you checked on the Thursday morning, where were we? Did we get everything we want to do? No, we didn't. Got to do it tonight and tomorrow because I want to get back on target. It's a little thing to do.

But maybe you look at these steps you're taking, your milestones. And start to get ready, do the best checks you can. And once you do that, you schedule them in.

You check your progress in the most appropriate time. And then you can make the changes you need to get better. I hope that helps.

But it is an interesting question, isn't it? What are you frightened of? Success or failure? Get that batted out the door. Once you understand that, you can work on it. And if you want, I'll even do this on a longer podcast.

Fear of success, fear of failure. But if it is something like that, send me an email. It's feedback, that's what it is.

It's feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Give me a little bit of the scenario, the things that you're frightened of. And let's see if we can come up with a real good process to get your unconscious mind to make more appropriate steps. So you use your skills, your energy in the right direction, which creates more confidence in your competence, because you are competent and your motivation goes out the route in such a brilliant way.

Have a think. This was a five-minute quickie, taking about eight minutes. But hey, have fun.

Share this bloody thing as far as you can, if you would. And subscribe, follow, do whatever. I'll see you next time.

It's time to fly. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly now.

Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

The Alternative To Anxiety and Worry An empowering deep dive into how you can take control of anxiety and worry — and replace them with clarity, calm, and confidence.

An empowering deep dive into how you can take control of anxiety and worry — and replace them with clarity, calm, and confidence.

In this episode, Paul Clough (yes, me!) shares personal experiences and tried-and-tested NLP and hypnosis-based techniques to help you break the cycle of anxious thoughts, worry loops, and emotional overwhelm. Discover how to:

• Dissociate from unhelpful feelings, thoughts, and mental movies
• Rewire your internal voice to one of calm, strength, and clarity
• Use simple yet powerful visualisation and anchoring techniques
• Access the emotional states that truly support you
• Stop rehearsing failure and instead direct your own movie of success
• Prepare for real-life situations with ease and confidence

You’ll learn how your unconscious mind can work with you rather than against you, so you’re no longer hijacked by imaginary fears or future catastrophes that never even happen.

💡 This isn’t theory — it’s a hands-on process you can do as you listen.

So grab a notebook or just settle in with your headphones and let’s stop anxiety in its tracks. Because there is an alternative… and it starts right here.

🎧 Listen now — and please share this episode with someone who needs it.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/456-the-alternative-to-anxiety-and-worry

👉 Also available as a full video on https://youtu.be/nrHeU1B_Ug8

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

#456 The Alternative To Anxiety and Worry

An alternative to anxiety and worry. What a great title, isn't it? Great title.

Well, it is Cloughie. I can back it up, I assure you. But first of all, let's just think for a minute.

And this will probably be a little bit of me. And let's see how it matches with your experience. How do we experience anxiety, worry? Well, for me, when something happens like that, I get a weird feeling in my tummy.

It's really quite low in my tummy. And it's not really the most pleasant of feelings. But, hey, that's what it is.

I might get butterflies. And it's more than butterflies. It's more intense, because it's like having ten times more butterflies than butterflies.

So, that's the feeling I get. You know, I could get sometimes, when it's not good, I've had like a dread. Some might say deep dread, but I don't know quite how deep a deep dread goes.

But it was something I dreaded. You know, because it's worry. Something, I can remember a particular thing, it really did worry.

And I couldn't understand why, but that's what was happening. And when I thought about it, that was my heart. You know, it wasn't going into palpitations, but it was quickening.

And it made everything so intense. And do you know what the weird thing is? The bloody thing wasn't even happening in real life. The thing I'm thinking about now, I was in another bloody country.

To the thing I was worried about. Yet, the feelings were, they were shit. And they were continuous.

That wasn't good. And why? Why did it feel that way? Because I was fully associated into that issue. It wasn't happening.

It wasn't going to happen, even if it was going to happen. It was going to happen for a few weeks, because I was out of the country for a few weeks. But I was still fully associated into that issue.

And that's a little bit of the problem. But we'll go into that deeper. So, let's think.

What else? What else do we get? Because we've got the feelings. What else do we get? For me, and see if this resonates with you. Because it might resonate, because it's a sound.

A bloody never-ending conversation. It was if. Everything just got round and round and round.

Never bloody stopped. And the conversations got worse. And it didn't help the feelings, by the way.

But just when I concentrated, and I'm trying to concentrate now on how those words went around. They were getting, I wouldn't call it sinister. But there was things I would never ever do or never ever say.

But in my head, that's what I was doing. And the thing about it is, that's where they are. You weren't having a conversation, or I'm not.

I wasn't having a conversation with anybody. No one there. It was just me.

It's in my head. And the thing about being in your head, do you know what? That's it. It's just you in your head.

Guess what? You are producing it. Because it's just internal. And again, what's happening? Because that wasn't happening.

But it sounds like it's happening because you are fully associated into that dialogue. Fully associated into the feeling. Can you get where I'm going here? Fully associated.

What else? What else can happen? And again, this is my experience. Maybe you see it all happening. Like a loop.

And what tends to happen is, you get the video. The movie in your mind. And it sets off and triggers off.

Obviously, the sounds. But then, the feelings. Because you're in the video.

You're in the movie. You're making up a bloody memory, which hasn't even started. And it just gets worse.

And the more it goes... I found... Well, I did stop it. I did stop it because I had the ways of stopping it. And then I'm going to go through them.

And the thing is, without that, it would have got worse and worse and worse. All in my head. All in my head.

And I was choosing to do it. And that's the thing that's hard to accept. Choosing to do it.

Because people say, well, I didn't choose to do it. It just happens. No.

Could you choose to do something different? Well, you could if you did. But let's think about this. You see, I tend to find that you get one of these things and it triggers the feeling.

Maybe trigger off the movie. Or the movie then triggers off the voice. Or the voice triggers off the feeling in the movie.

They're just all going on at the same time. So we tend to get all three at once. So, what is the alternative? What is the alternative to this? And you're not going to believe it, but it's pretty, pretty simple.

Pretty simple. Here's what we're going to do. We need to dissociate.

What does that mean? It means get a distance. Get a distance from things. I'll give you a little example.

And the little example is this. Imagine that you are, imagine you're on a roller coaster. And you're on the roller coaster now.

And what happens is you're going up that slope and you know you're in there. And as you look over the hill, as you go down, whoa! You feel it all again, don't you? But imagine it, the same scene. And you're watching yourself.

Over there, you're going up, up, up. And you're watching yourself. Yeah, you watch yourself being frightened.

But as you watch yourself, I'm not frightened watching myself. Because I can see it, but I'm dissociated. And when I'm dissociated, I don't get the feelings.

And if I do, I can do something about that too. It's called double dissociation. We might even do that.

We'll go through it anyway. But we're going to do this. Because when you dissociate from those type of emotional events that are in your head, then we can start to work with them.

And change them. That's it. Because they're not happening, therefore you're in control.

And all we need is a little bit of distance. So, are you ready to play? Will you play with me? Because if you play with me, we can do something. I've got to do that.

There we go. So, what are we going to do? I'm going to do these one at a time. One at a time, and then we'll just go on.

Because then we're going to put them all together. So, let's do them individually. Let's take that feeling.

Now, think of that feeling. You see, what we do is we always set an intention. Always set an intention by acknowledging the feeling.

It's here. We're not accepting it. I keep talking about this over and over again.

We're not accepting it as being okay. We're just acknowledging. Yeah, I've got this feeling.

Because it's true. It's happening in my body. I'm choosing to let it happen.

And my intention is to find a better way. Because we know the positive intention of having this worry, having this anxiety, is to prepare us for a particular event. That's all it is.

But it's overwhelming. Because when I get worried and anxiety, I cannot prepare. And because I'm not preparing, because I can't prepare, because I'm getting overwhelmed, that's why it does it even more intensely.

Because it says, you're not preparing. Look, look how bad it could be. And I'm still not.

I'm overwhelmed. Look, oh no, no, you've got to do it even worse. Make it even worse.

To make you get off your ass, get on and do something. But let's just rewind that for a minute. I acknowledge the feeling.

My intention is, I just say to myself, do you know what? I just want to understand and find a better way. I understand the intention to protect me, to get me to do stuff. But it's not working.

I wonder if there's a better way. And with that, I put my hand on that feeling, where it is in my body, roughly. Put my mind into it.

And we've talked about this before in noticing various things about it. Maybe the colour, the weight, the shape. It was all in the last longer podcast.

But as you put your hand on it, physically, draw it out. Imagine you get hold of it in your hand and pull it out. And as it's out there in your hand, just pull it outside.

Even just doing that to dissociate yourself from it. The feeling will subside. Because it's over here.

You've got it in your hand. Now, you could throw it away. But if you did, it would probably come back.

Because you haven't done anything with it. But when we pull it outside, we can go, okay, I could push it further away to give me a bit more space. I'm now more dissociated.

But with this space, what I'm going to do with this space, well, I'm going to think, what would be a better emotion to have? Now, some may say, well, I want total confidence. Well, no, that's a bloody great big jump from feeling shit scared to I want super confidence. It's too big a jump.

You can't do that. Well, maybe you could. That's too general.

But generally, it's too big a jump. So you think of, well, if I could just make it a little bit better, I would make it a neutral feeling. Just neutral.

So it's not positive. It's not negative. It's neutral.

So what would a neutral feeling? And just think back to a time in your life when you just had a neutral feeling. Oh, I can think about it now. What does neutral feel like? Well, it feels just like this.

And feel it. Because when you feel it, you've got it. You've chosen to feel this.

And then you feel, well, now I'm neutral. I can move it a little bit more. Because I think neutral is okay.

But maybe I just want a calm experience. A calm feeling. So I can deal.

So then when I'm calm, I can see options. When I'm calm, I can see what I need to do. When I'm calm, I can prepare.

Oh, isn't that what my unconscious mind was trying to make me do? Prepare? Yeah. So imagine now, from neutral, holding it in your hand. Neutral.

Now change it to think of a time when you've been calm. And this is where we really think about it. Think of a time when you've been calm.

Or you fill in the blank what you believe would be the most appropriate motion to have for your issue, your event you're looking at. And if it's calm, I'd go, okay, let me think of a specific time. Not generally, just a specific time when I was just calm.

And go back in my mind. Go back there now to that memory. Go into that memory again.

Go into me in that memory again. I'll see what I saw back then. Hear what I heard back then.

And feel the feelings of calm. Wow. Wow, I can feel calm now.

I can feel where calm is in my body. I can feel what calm does to my breathing. I can feel what calm does to my heart.

I can just feel... And I tend to get a little bit more confident then. Not super confident, not ever so confident, but I just feel a little bit more confident in myself. Because I'm now starting to touch my core.

And when I do that, I've got calm now. And I pull that back into where calm should be. Where it is.

Wow. That would be better, wouldn't it? And you could do this for a couple of times. For a couple of times? You could do it a couple of times.

Just to reinforce it, just to stack it. Think of another time when you were calm. Oh yeah, yeah, pull that one in.

Think of another time. Go there, feel it, see it, hear it. Bring it back in.

And just notice how much better this would be. To have this feeling instead of that old feeling. The one you've left out there, by the way.

Because you brought in calm. You left the other one out there. Now, because this is better.

Your pulse has changed. Your breathing has changed. You can see the world clearer.

Yeah. Just say to your unconscious mind this or something. Better.

It's a lovely little saying. And I believe your unconscious mind has to pick a better way. If you found a better way, and you have now chosen a better way, and you've also said to your unconscious mind, can you find a better way? This or something better? Okay.

Then we go to the voices. Do you remember those voices? Yeah, that, going in your mind. What can you do with that to get a little further distance? Well, to get distance, when voices are at distance, what happens to them? The volumes change.

So reduce the volume. Imagine you've got a volume control, and you just turn down the volume of the voice, so it goes quieter and quieter. Yeah.

So you see, in effect, you're pushing it away. Maybe just change the pitch a little bit. So it goes into a silly little voice, or a sexy little voice.

And I don't know why I think that's sexy, because I know it isn't. But you know what I mean. You can change the speed of it.

You can make it into a stutter. Make it into a cartoon type stutter. And when you've pushed it away, reduced the volume, changed the pitch, give it that jiggity-jaggity, jiggity-jaggity.

It's like having a CD player. Remember the old CDs? If you scratch it enough times, it won't bloody play. And now you're going to associate to that.

But think, what would be a better way? Just think what would be better. Well, I don't want that voice. I want to be able to think clearly, with my own voice.

I don't want to have... So what is my own voice when I'm thinking calmly? Remember that feeling? What is my voice when I'm speaking calmly? Ah. That feels... I can think better when I'm thinking with this voice, and not that other shitty voice over there, that I've now pushed over there. Turn it right down.

Because after a while, you can turn it right down to zero. Now it's quiet. So here's the thing.

Now the video. Now the video. Now, we said we want distance, dissociation.

What about double dissociation? What about double dissociation? Well, you could do this, if you want to. What you do, is imagine, a movie screen. Because you're going to put, that movie, or a movie, of what you're playing.

But imagine it this way. We're going to push the movie screen further away. But imagine seeing, another you in front of yourself, watching that screen.

So you're watching that you, watching the screen. Whoa. Because you see, when you play that old video, it used to trigger the voices, because it had sound.

It used to trigger then, the feelings. But if it's double dissociated, it's like that roller coaster, watching yourself, watching the roller coaster. There is no feelings at all.

And just imagine, just for a moment or two, that you over there, watching that movie, that you've been playing forever, and notice, that it's a load of old bollocks. Or, what it can learn from those. It can learn, get that you out there to learn, that it's not going to happen that way, because you're going to change it.

You don't allow it to happen that way, because it's not constructive. It's not appropriate. So you push that movie screen away.

And you make it smaller. Because what happens when it goes smaller, it goes darker. When we said, when it goes further away, what happens to the sound? It diminishes.

And if you keep pushing it further away, it gets smaller and darker, and quieter. And you keep pushing it away, and pushing it away, and you can push it away, till it disappears. And when it disappears, you've got a fresh start.

Now the fresh start, what do we do with a fresh start? We now have a separate screen, right in front of you. And you are the director of that movie. Yeah, you're the director, because you are now in charge.

You're still dissociated, but you are the director. So imagine this film of yours. It's like the movie of your life.

My son does a lovely process called, you are the movie star, or movie star of your life. Catch it with josephclough.com But now you know what feeling you want. I want you to imagine, how you'd like it to be.

How would you like this event to be, if it ever happens? I'll tell you what happened to mine in a minute. Because I changed the movies, I changed the sound, I did exactly what I'm telling you now. I'm sharing the way I did it, because I know it works.

And it is simple. It just means, just have to do it. So I saw a movie, and you see the movie how you want it to be.

And you see yourself acting in that movie, the way you want to act. You hear your voice, the way you want to speak. You know by just looking at yourself, the way you're feeling.

Because you can tell, you can tell the vibes that come off you. You're in control, you're in charge. Because that's all it is.

And now you're in charge, what you can do, is just go into that movie, just for a moment, into the you. And just feel like, what it would be like, to be this way. You don't have to see all the rest of the movie, you can if you want to.

You can let it play out, by being in that movie, because you know, it's not really happening. It's in your imagination, and you're in control of your imagination, nobody else is. So imagine it the way you want it to be.

Imagine saying the things that you want to say, imagine everything going according to plan. I know in reality it doesn't always work that way, but this is in imagination, and it's not reality. But your unconscious mind doesn't know that.

Can't tell what's real or imagined, when you do it like this. And when you get there, and you understand, you're in there, you understand what type of belief you have about yourself. Because you're okay, I'm in charge.

You understand the emotions, that you're using, the skills that you're using, the behaviors you're using. And when I say emotions, they could be calm, they could be curious, they could be anything, could be confident, could be competent, could be just relaxed, could be whatever. You've got everything, because it's not just one.

You've got a fluidity, going between one and the other, whatever is the most appropriate. And it feels so good. And then you go, this or something better, and just step out of that screen.

And let it go. Let it go. You don't need to think about it again.

You can if you want to, because you're going to think about, this is the right way, this is the most appropriate way. You just ask your unconscious mind, if this is going to happen, this is the way I want it to happen. These are the resources I want.

These are the things that I want to believe in, the way I want to feel, because this is so much better than that shit I had before. So choose this or something better. Here's what generally happens.

For me, this thing I was really worried about, guess what? It never happened at all. Not one bit of it. Not one thing.

The event I was thinking of, didn't happen. It was about a person, and I didn't even see that person. And I haven't seen him since, so I don't care.

End of. If it does happen, it's more likely, and I have to say more likely, I can't guarantee everything, it's more likely to go the way you want, or better than you want. Because your unconscious mind thinks you've already done it before as well, because it didn't, it just can't get, this is the imagination, and you have worked at something, and you feel like you've done it before too.

So if things aren't quite going, the way you imagined it, you will change in the moment, because you'll remember, well I need to be a bit more calmer. I need to be this, I need that. And then at the end of it, you'll review it.

You'll sit back quietly with a cup of coffee, gin and tea, glass of water, tea, whatever, whatever, beer. All quietly by yourself, how did that go? What could I learn from this? Because that's the big thing, because once you've learned from it, even that memory, if there's anything that was negative in it, will not haunt you. Because you've learned from it, and when you've learned from things, you don't need the negative emotions, because you're going to move forward.

Isn't that awesome? So that is, for me, the alternative to anxiety and worry. And I just want you to know, that you're in control. You were in control with this shit, and you're in control with how you want to be.

The before and the after. Because you can choose how you want to be. It's a matter of taking control, and when you do, you become empowered.

And you begin to see opportunities, you begin to see all the things you can do. So you decide. Because when you decide and take ownership, it's yours.

No one else's. Because you can do this. You can.

Sometimes you have to practice. Practice a little bit more one-off. Sometimes it's difficult to do a one-off.

This will work with a one-off, by the way. But the more you practice these things, the more you'll end up doing it without knowing you're doing it, or your unconscious mind will do it for you before anything happens. And you'll be able to prepare properly.

You won't be overwhelmed. So whether it's a meeting at work, maybe it's an intense situation with somebody, or you're just going to meet somebody social, anything that causes you worry or anxiety will get easier. Because you've learned from it.

You'll be in control. There you go. I hope, I really do hope, that I've shared in a way that's understandable.

I'd like to think it's eloquent and elegant, but it probably isn't. I hope it is. But I hope it's in a way that you can use it.

Maybe you had to make some notes. Maybe you have to rewind this. Go to the beginning and take notes.

Or do it with me again. Because we talked through it. Then you go, okay, now I've got the situation.

I'm going to go through that last bit with Paul to do the sounds, the feeling, or the feelings, the sounds, and then all together. But you can, you know, when you're getting this, you can. Things are happening.

I want to push that picture away. Oh, I've got this voice in my head. I'm going to turn it down.

Oh, I've got this feeling. Maybe the voice isn't there yet, or the picture, I'm just going to change it slightly because it's not helpful. So you can do them individually, and you can do them as one.

And I suggest you practice each. Practice it on little things from the past. Because when you need it in the future, boom, you're in control.

Knowing what you do and doing what you know. Mastery. If you could master this little bit here.

Worry. Anxiety. Maybe you don't disappear completely because the world is the world and things come on, sideliners and things like that.

Or blindsiders. Which one is it? I don't know. But at least you've got the tools to deal with it when you need to deal with it.

Or even you'll get into the habit of preparing for things before they become a worry. So they don't become a worry. Now, wouldn't that be good? If, as I said, if I haven't made it clear, please let me know.

Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com Let me know so I can make it clearer with another episode. If there's a point that you think, well, I still got it all pulled, but I need a bit more, let me know. Same email.

And we'll come up with another process. Do let me know. Because there's so much we can do.

And I got your back. Because when you get like this, your goals, your dreams, just get bigger and better. And you start to have the richness of success or success in richness that you deserve.

That's waiting for you. So just get empowered and take action. There you go.

Please do that. Please share. I always ask to share, but I don't know how many people do, but I just love you to share this for a number of reasons.

One is if you share it, you got benefit, your other people will get the benefit. That's the main thing. If you share it, people will start to listen and make things a bit more visible to other people because the algorithms just work that way.

This is such a small little podcast, but it's got a depth to it. And if we can just affect one more person, we can infect one more person with the confidence and empowerment to create the life they want. Job done.

There you go. And don't miss anything. So subscribe and follow and all that stuff.

Have more fun than you can stand. And I'll see you. You'll hear me.

I'll be in your mind and you can come into mine on the next longer episode or just muse for a five-minute quickie. Till the next time, my friend. Go fly.

Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly now.

Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged.

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Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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Standing Still Is NOT OK – The Myth of ‘Maintaining A Five-MinuteQuickie from Personal Development Unplugged

What if standing still is actually taking you backwards?

In this short, sharp episode, we break the illusion of “treading water” in personal growth. You’re either moving forward or slipping back—and this 5-minute muse is a call to action for continuous personal development, even if it's just 1% at a time.

Discover why consistent progress is essential for self-improvement, confidence, and mental well-being. Learn how applying small daily shifts in mindset and behaviour leads to lasting transformation—without overwhelm. This is real, doable self-growth.

🎯 Takeaways

• Standing still = slipping back
• 1% daily growth = exponential results
• The myth of “maintaining”
• Personal development isn’t a sprint—it’s an intention
• Progress in one area ripples through the rest of your life

A simple reminder to evolve, not retreat.

Go a challenge you want help with? Email: feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com

Share this episode if it made you think – someone else needs to hear it too.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-507-standing-is-not-an-option-and-is-not-ok

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey, welcome back to the Five Minute Quickie. And, imagine this.

You're in a boat. You're a lovely little boat. And, you're on the river.

And, there's a lovely little, there's a stream or a current, you know, going past. And, you've put an anchor down. And, as you put that anchor down, you think you're standing still.

Are you? Because everything else is moving away from you. You're not moving forward. Everything else is moving forward.

So, in effect, your standing still is maybe going backwards. That's what I want to talk to you about. Standing still is okay.

No, it isn't. No, it isn't. You see, we talk about, can I? Constant and never-ending improvement.

The 1%. And, I've talked about it in the longer podcast. I've talked about it in the past.

And, I know I'm going to talk about it in the future. Because, if you're not striving, just striving just to be a little bit better. Then, I know if you think about it, just in your career, maybe in your fitness, maybe in your health, maybe in your learning.

If you're not striving to be just a little bit better, you can kid yourself that you're standing still. You can kid yourself that you're just treading water. It'll be okay.

But, in fact, you are going backwards. You're going backwards when you relate to other people in your field, if it's career and relationships and things like that. You're going backwards if it's your health.

Because, we can all just do a little bit more. But, the thing is, you're not standing still. You're actually going backwards because the old saying, if you don't use it, you will lose it.

If you don't use your brain, it's a muscle. You've got so much capacity. Use it or you'll lose it.

We'll forget things. We've got to keep topping it up. We've got our body.

We've got to keep moving it. You know, it's no good going to the gym once or doing a bit of stretching and going, yeah, I'm flexing because you'll lose it. You go next time, maybe just leave it for a couple of days and try touching your toes.

You go, oh, that's tight. We've lost it. I was only standing still.

I didn't really do much. In fact, I only tried to do the things I was doing before. Well, if you did the things you're doing before, you tend to find that you do them a little bit less.

Because, sometimes you have to do a little bit more to keep even just the same thing. And, you don't have to do it 100%. If you could work at 80% and you go, well, Paul, if I'm doing 80% every day or every week or every time I do something, doesn't that mean I'm standing still? Well, you might think so, but you're not.

You're not. Because, what happens is your 80% gets bigger, which is quite weird. Think about that.

But, if you can lift something at 80% and you keep practicing and practicing, you can lift a little bit stronger or you become a bit stronger and you can lift a little bit heavier. And, that lifting a little bit heavier now becomes your new 80%. It's a new 80%.

So, you're growing and you're not hurting yourself. You're just doing a little bit more. The thing is, sometimes we think we have to do it and everybody thinks all the time, all the time.

No. You can if you can. Don't get overwhelmed by it.

As long as we are striving in one area today, maybe two areas today, making sure that we pick the most important areas, we'll find that our improvements generalize into other areas of our life. So, if we get fitter, we might get a little bit confident in ourself, just in our own body. That will spread to when you go to your work or when you meet people because you'll be that little bit more confident.

So, you know your confidence has grown. Now, you're meeting people and now you're maybe learning from that. So, just don't stand still.

It's not okay. And, striving to do just a little bit better, just a little, little, little bit better isn't difficult. Just set your intention.

Is this important to me? And, then we'll do it. Now, the thing is, this is only a five-minute quickie. It's something to muse about.

And, it's a reminder. It's a reminder to you. It's a reminder to me.

So, I've got to keep doing it as well, by the way. And, in this reminder, I'm thinking, I wonder how I can do this in a different way, maybe. I've talked about it in the past.

I've talked about it in the future. I haven't talked about the future. What I'm going to say is, I am going to talk about it deeper in the future.

So, we can find even better ways just to keep our motivation, just to keep our confidence, just to keep our growth, because that's what personal development is all about. Development, personally. That's what we're going to do.

So, you come with me. You come with me, because old guys rule, and I'm an old guy. Have fun.

If there's any particular area that you want me to help you with, to get that extra little bit every time you do it, send me an email, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com, and share this episode as well. I always ask you to, I know you don't, but if you would, it would be kind, and it just means it gets out to more people. You'll be surprised.

Okay. Until the next time, my friend, have more fun than you can stand, and maybe have 1% more pleasure than you can stand today. Okay.

Time to fly. Bye-bye. So, before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast, or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe.

It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people, and we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them, and this will help. Help the podcast. It will help you, and it will help, well, everyone that you know.

So, if you could just subscribe and share. Share this podcast to everyone you blooming well know. That's the only cost.

Pay it forward to everyone, and when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet Earth of ours, and the people in it. Let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay.

Okay. You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning.

You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend.

Personal development unplugged.

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Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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Feeling a Failure – Let’s Solve It Ever felt like a failure? That heavy, gut-sinking emotion that says “I’m not good enough” or *“I’ve let myself (or others) down”? You're not alone. But what if I told you feeling like a failure is not a fact – it’s a signal. And better still, it’s something we can solve together.

In this episode of the Personal Development Unplugged podcast, we go deep – but in only the way we can. I’ll walk you through how those thoughts of failure sneak in, what they really mean, and most importantly, give you simple, practical NLP and hypnosis-based tools to shift that feeling fast.

Learn how to: • Challenge and change the story you're telling yourself • Turn emotional feedback into empowering action • Reclaim confidence and self-worth (without toxic positivity) • Use the language of success to rewire your internal dialogue • Start new habits that build momentum, not guilt

This isn’t about pretending everything’s great. This is about acknowledging the feeling, finding the real intention behind it, and creating real, lasting change. And it’s simpler than you think — because, say it with me: In simplicity, there is genius.

It’s time to take that feeling of failure and use it as fuel for your personal growth.

Listen now and reclaim your inner success story. Watch the full video episode too if you fancy seeing my face in action!

Subscribe. Share. Let’s help more people unplug from limitations.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/455-feeling-a-failure-lets-solve-it

https://youtu.be/zT59hSKIKvA

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey, my friends, my friend. I think there's one or two here.

The longer podcast and feeling a feeling of failure. Let's solve it. But before I go into that, I want to tell you a little story.

Because yesterday I recorded this particular thing. Feelings of failure. And guess what happened? At the very end, I went to play it back.

Video wise? Yeah, it's there. The microphone hadn't been switched on. Zero audio.

Zero audio. And do you know what? I felt such a dumbo. What a dim F-U-C-K.

What? I was so, I shouted at myself. In fact, I shouted at the microphone for not turning itself off to start off with. I had to blame somebody.

And then I realized, Paul, you've learned a valuable lesson. Always go back to basics. Check your basics.

Check your intention and check your equipment to make sure things are all firing on all cylinders before we start. There you go. But I'm back again.

And this feeling of a failure, because you see, sometimes to be a success, we think we need to have just one more minute, just a bit more, just a bit more. And sometimes it's just one more rep, just one more, just one more. But there's the other side of that, where we don't quite do that one more minute.

We don't do that one more rep. And we think, do you know what? Yeah, that'll do. That'll do.

And it's nearly there. I'll tell you what, I'll finish it off in the morning. And the thing is about the feeling of failure, and we are going to solve it by the way, it's not all about effort.

Because effort, too much of it, can bring pain. And that pain generally comes from a clash of values. You see, what do I mean by that clash of values? You see, why do I keep saying you see? We'll find out.

You want to work hard. You want to make a success of your career. You want to earn a lot of money, because you want your family to be safe.

You want your family to be comfortable, have all the riches, and to enjoy life. Because you have family as a very high value. And that's what you want to do.

So you work 25 hours a day, you work eight days a week. And you do it nonstop, because all you want to do is provide for your family. What happens? Well, your family ain't around, because your relationships just went up in the air.

Because you were doing too much on one side of the equation, and not enough of the other. You didn't check your values first. And you see, it's a conflict.

It's a direct conflict between one and the other. And you see, little conflicts become little cracks. And those little cracks tend to get bigger.

They tend to get, over time, bigger and bigger until it's too late. And have you had this excuse? I know I have. And it's just such a stupid excuse.

Well, I didn't see that coming. Yeah, of course you didn't bloody see it coming. You could have done.

You could have done. And then you give that excuse. Yeah, but I was only doing it for the family.

I was only doing it for this. I mean, the other one is, I want to get so super healthy. And you spend all the time in the gym.

You run and you're doing this and you're doing that. And in fact, sometimes your body just falls down because you're unhealthy. But you lose, again, maybe social relationships.

You maybe lose the time when you should be learning to get that harmony. It's a sort of balance, but I don't like the word balance. Harmony, when you do a little bit more one, something takes a little backseat, but then you bring it back up to you.

So you do find a balance in the end, but you work towards knowing your values. So that's one way how we can have that feeling of being a failure. And we've created it.

We chose to do it, by the way. If that was you, we chose to do that. But we didn't take account of our values.

Let's flip it over. Let's flip it over. Because have you ever been guilty? I know I have.

Of not quite doing enough. Not quite doing enough. Get distracted.

Or sometimes I try to do a little bit of everything and do absolutely nothing at all. But at the end of the day, there is nothing. I've been very busy.

I've been busy doing all that urgent stuff, thinking I'm being busy. But I've been distracted by this and that. Putting things off.

And sometimes I've just been putting things off for instant pleasure. You know, that doom strolling. Whatever it is you get hits by.

And you look back and you think, well, if only. I wish I'd. I could have done.

I should have done. And you see, one of them is setting the bar so high. And you just go for it.

And it's just too high. And it doesn't take into account all the different things that's going on in your life. The other one is too bloody low.

And either way, life just seems to crash and burn and certainly crash and burn in the way that it doesn't feel empowering. It doesn't feel rich. It doesn't feel enjoyable.

There is no enjoyable. It doesn't. There is no joy in it.

And you see, I think. Yes, I think. I've remembered this button.

I think they're all. Well, they both come from a sense of fear. Fear? Yeah.

The first one, I'm frightened to fail. You know, I don't want to be seen to be a failure. Because, you know, I'd be a failure if I'm not able to support the people I love.

I'm a failure because I can't look after my body. I'm a failure because I'm trying. I'm just so frightened about being that failure.

But the whole point is, if those relationships go upside down, if your health takes a dive, and normally when things go that way with relationships, our health goes down or whatever, and then we don't go to the gym, and then we get worse and worse, and we still feel a failure. And you see, even with all that effort, because we're frightened of being a failure, what do we feel? A failure. So we are actually creating that direct conflict.

I don't want to feel a failure, but I'm now creating a life where I do feel a failure. And it's only your thoughts. The second one, let's think about the second one.

Putting off things, excuses, you know, for not performing. We just give, we love to give an excuse. We really do, don't we? We just love to give excuses.

So it lets us off the hook. You see, if we put excuses so we can have that such a low bar that we don't have to perform, we'll never be judged. And if you're never judged, because you're not failing, because you're always doing 30%, you know, I've done 31% to date.

But how do you feel? What's the result? Well, you try to do it so you can't fail. But inside, you feel a bloody failure. And with both of those, you get this identifying belief.

Identifying, I mean, it's at your identity level. I am a failure. I am a failure.

How does that generalise into the rest of your life? When you have a belief, I'm a failure, because what tends to happen is we have a belief created over here. And it then generalises into different contexts of your life. And if you're taking, I'm a failure into different contexts of your life, guess what? Life doesn't go too well.

And other things change. But here's the rub. Here's the thing.

Here's the thing we can do about it. What we can do about it. You see, in NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming, there's a presupposition, or there's a whole list of presuppositions, and they're called useful assumptions.

And I love to try to live my life by these useful assumptions, because they just work. And one of them is, there's no such thing as failure. It's just feedback.

Now, if you add that to the five keys to success, what? Yeah, the five keys to success. I've talked about it before, but I'm going to put it in this solving feeling of failure. Because if we live our life with those five keys, success has to come through.

Therefore, failure does not exist. And if failure doesn't exist, because it's only feedback anyway, we get to do it properly. We get to live our life in a way.

So let me explain. Let me explain. I wish you would.

I wish you would, Cloughie. Well, here I am. What's the first key to success? Well, it's knowing what you want.

But the thing is, it's not just about knowing what you want. It's about setting your intention. But first of all, before you go flying off, look at your values.

Why is this important to you? And then check in your other values. What are the other things in your life that are important to you, such as family, such as social, such as career, such as your health? Which one of those? And do they all support each other? It's that little thing I call the ecology check. Is it good for you? Is it good for others? And is it good for little old planet Earth? Now, if you get those three and you consider them, and you don't have to be 100% right, by the way, you just consider them.

Because if the ones that jump out and go, well, if I do work this hard, I really got to either explain to my family that there'll be days when I'm working very hard, but I'm going to make it up. And I want you to support me and go back off, come back into the family. I need that help.

If it's hitting the gym too hard, get someone, your friend to say, well, just hey, come on, let's just rest. Let your body rest. Because when you rest, you're going to get more healthier and let it affect other areas in your life.

Will it affect my work? Will it affect this? Will it affect that? Check those values. It doesn't take long. And I think once you've checked them, then you can take action, which is the second key.

But you're taking action, setting the bar at the right level. What's the right level? Well, it isn't bloody 100%. I'll tell you that now.

One thing, you can't reach 100%. You can't. And I really chuckle to myself when I hear people say, give 110%.

Do you know what? That's pretty difficult. You've only got 100%. The bucket is full at 100%.

But if you give 100%, which is so damn difficult, because you'll never really do 100%, because you don't quite know what 100% is. If you listen to David Goggins, he thinks a lot of people think 100% is only 40%. And then that's when they give up.

But David Goggins isn't. So his 40% is maybe there. But the thing is, if you set your bar too high, you're never going to make it.

And guess what happens? Oh, I'm a failure. What happens if you set it too low? Well, we just know. We're never going to feel that we've achieved anything.

Because we know in our hearts that we could have got there. Easy. So what's a good percentage? 80%.

80% is great. Why 80%? Because whatever you do at 80%, it's achievable. It's bloody hard to achieve, by the way.

80% is to be consistently at 80% is a good bloody record. You will be in the top little percent of everybody if you're hitting 80% regularly, consistently. And that's consistently in all different areas of your life.

But the thing is, you say, oh, 80% poor, that seems low. You'll find out it's pretty difficult. But the thing is, week on week, that 80% grows.

Because that 80%, say in a month's time, is equal to 100% of what it was a month ago. So you're growing, you're getting stronger. But as you hit 80%, you can feel damn, that's good.

You'll see the results. And the one thing is, you don't get injured. If you're going to the gym at 80%, you'll never get injured.

Yeah, occasionally you go a little bit more to grow. But 80% is good. You know, if you're giving 80% to your relationships, again, you're doing more than most people.

And it just keeps growing. Let's say that 80% just gets bigger. And when you get that 80%, it feels bloody good.

You feel a success. Wow. And the thing about this is, so you've set your bar at the right level, you've got your intention, you know that you're going to be aware of all your other values, the other important things in your life.

And it's that awareness, which is the third key, by the way. Third key, the third key of the five keys of success is awareness. It's that review that you have.

And we've talked about reviewing. If you review too often, it's overwhelming, you don't see any difference. If you review too late, you'll miss it.

But you need to review, are you in the right direction? Are you in the right projection? Are you caring for your values? Because you need to choose whether you need to put a little bit more over here or back off over there. You choose, you see. And if you're really thinking about your values, and you ask yourself the question, am I doing enough? Because sometimes, actually, I haven't been getting anywhere near that 80%.

Or am I doing too much? Because I'm trying too hard and I'm losing a little bit of a value. You then get the fourth, the fourth key, which is flexibility, because you've now done that review, you understand this, because you always have to make adjustments. And when you make adjustments, it's that flexibility to know, I'm just off course.

And if I keep going off course, for a period of days and weeks, I'm going to be miles out of the way. And we're always off course, aeroplanes are always off course, apart from the two times, once when they take off and once when they land, but they're always making subtle adjustments to keep on course. And when you have that flexibility, and one of the presuppositions, useful assumptions of NLP is the person with the most flexibility rules the system.

That's a weird way of saying it. But if you have flexibility in your life, you will be able to rule your life, but you'll certainly govern your life, you'll be in charge of your life, you'll be empowered to create what you want. And it's all about choosing them.

Because of that flexibility, you can choose what you need to do, step up, decrease, add more effort over here. Each time you do that, guess what, you feel empowered. And when you're empowered, you feel 867.

And here's the one I love. You see, if you think about it, there's a fifth key. The fifth key is, we've talked about it so many times, but it's a diamond.

Act as if, and I'm going to slow down now because I got excited. What is acting as if? It is not faking it till you make it. Acting as if is knowing if you were to have the results that you wanted, what you dream of, your goal, what you're aiming for right now.

And if you were to visualize that, what would it be like? How would you act? How would you work in the world? Because it's acting as if with a physiology and a psychology of excellence. So how do you breathe? How would you walk? How would you look after your body? How would you eat? What would you feed it in? In the things that you listen to, you look at, you read. And the psychology, what would you think? What beliefs would you have? What empowering positive beliefs? What behaviours would you use? Healthy behaviours.

Now, if you knew what that would be like when you've achieved that goal, what's stopping you acting as if you've got it now? Because you now know how to act. And do you think if you acted that way, when you start to take that action, wow, you would get there. You would get there so much quicker than you would before.

Because acting as if just bloody works. It's telling your unconscious mind, this is it. This is where we're going.

People get it too, because your nonverbal communication, acting as if, tells them you mean business. You're professionally being your best. When I say professionally, you're professional you, being the best you can do.

And you see, none of this is what? None of it is bloody rocket science. It's common bloody sense. But there is no common in sense sometimes.

So it's not rocket science, but it is simple. And if you haven't made notes, I really think just when we finish, just go back a few minutes and then just make these notes again. Because it will rocket you.

Because it's not rocket science, but it will rocket you to success. It will not fear a failure and the feeling of failure out of the window, which means we've solved it. You see, once you get past step one, which is understanding what you want, setting your intention and making sure that your values are all accommodated, they're all working with each other.

You just keep rinsing and repeating steps two to five, because you just keep taking more action. But you're taking more action on the things that you're aware of what needs to be done, because you're flexible. And you've got that acting as if, the psychology and physiology of excellence.

So here's the thing. This applies to everything. Everything you do, because everything you do is a decision, which is a goal towards a goal to do something.

You have an intention to whatever you decide to do, there's an intention to it. Well, if you could get this as a habit, and it's certainly an unconscious habit. Man, your life would be wonderful, wouldn't it? It would be and I use the word too often.

It will be rich in every sense of the word. And the thing is, see, once you start succeeding in one goal, that will affect every other area of your life. Because once you start feeling that feeling of success, once you get that confidence in your competence and the skills that you learn, they will transfer.

It's like skill stacking and moving into different areas of your life. So once you get that confidence in one side, your relationships get better, your social, whatever they call it, social capital goes up, because people just get to be around you, because you're now interesting and interested, because you're just going through life and you're just getting it. But here's the thing, this is where we slow down.

Just like at the beginning, sometimes we just need to pause, it's that review. But just as a whole, not just at the goal, but as a whole, we just pause, take a breath. This is my five minutes to just ask myself, how are things going? How are things going in my life? When I look at all the areas of my life, are they all gelling? Let's just make sure there isn't that clash.

Now, how many times do you do that? And this reviewing? I think weekly. Weekly is a great time. We can do it daily.

If we get a feeling that something's wrong, sometimes you have to stop, maybe ask somebody, how am I doing? Am I happy? Because you could be going through life's big success in the term of you're achieving those goals, but are you happy? Because if you're not, something's wrong with those values, isn't it? Am I secure? And it's not necessarily financially secure. Am I secure in myself? Have I got that inner strength? Do I feel that inner confidence? And that can be just a feeling of being comfortable. And if you don't feel comfortable, just start to look at the different areas of your life and you'll notice which one makes that uncomfortableness a little bit more intense.

Right, I'm going to work on that. I'm going to get that balance right. I'm going to get that just a little tinkering.

It might just have to be a little bit. But when we do this, how good does it feel? I'll tell you how good it feels. It feels bloody good.

And you feel empowered to do more. And when you're empowered to do more, guess what? You become that example to others. The example to others, how to live a good life.

How to live a good life by being the best version of yourself. And then you could just say, well, could I do more? Could I give? And this is where I know you're going to say, oh, Cloughie, no. But what can I give to others? How can I use all of this to serve others? Selfless service.

Because that's where it all begins. As I always say, this has come at the end. But it all begins, if you can add selfless service into this, doing stuff without any expectation of return, that's when you are the complete success.

And if you're not, just redirect your efforts. Well, there you go. I hope, I hope this is recorded.

I hope that I've covered everything. I hope, there's a lot of hope in here, isn't there? But I hope that you've, you can see there is no need ever to feel a failure, even though, even if you believe failure does exist. But we can solve that and look to feeling positive emotions, look to have wonderful, empowering, positive beliefs that support us, people around us, and little old planet Earth.

If I haven't, if I haven't made it as elegant and eloquent, I love those two words, as I could have done, please let me know. Let me know where I was a little bit confusing or confused. Just email me, personal development, no, it's feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. If there's an area, you say, Cloughie, this is absolutely fantastic, because it is, by the way.

This is fantastic, Cloughie. But there's always a but on a sentence like that. What about, you fill in the blank.

Well, if you have a blank that says, Cloughie, but what about, fill in the blank, again, send me that email. Great podcast, Paul, Cloughie, but what about? And I will come up with something, a process, a longer podcast, a five minute quickie, something or redirect you to a hypnosis track. One way or the other, we'll find a way to deal with the buts, because there's, don't want any buts in our life.

Yeah, we don't. So do let me know. And if you could, if you found this interesting, by the way, if you did find it interesting, if you find it a benefit, I bet your friends, the people like you would find it interesting and something of benefit to them too, because they are like you.

So if you could share it with, firstly, your friends, because that'll be good. And then just to spite them, send it to the people you're not quite liking. But I can tell you what, when you do this, you are going to build up your social capital by sharing good stuff.

They're going to appreciate it. Yeah, if you could do that, that would be awesome. Have fun.

I know you're subscribed and I know you're following, are you? Sharing stuff? Yeah, I know. I know it's difficult. But if you could, it makes such a difference.

It makes a difference to I think the algorithms or something. It makes it more acceptable, but accessible to other people. And it makes me feel good too.

And I like feeling good. Because if I don't, I feel a failure. And then I got to go through this again.

Anyway, have more fun than you can stand. And guess what? Sometimes you can go through life and just wonder, I feel happy for no reason. Why is that? Because Cloughie said so.

Okay, it's time to fly, my friend. You go fly. We all need time to de-stress, don't we? We all need that space.

Everyone needs space. Our own place of personal retreat. And going to retreats are great.

But if you can't, why not have one in your mind? You know, if you don't go to that special place, that stress just builds and builds and builds. But if you have a place in your mind where you can go and de-stress, work out problems, think of all the wonderful things that you'll be able to do. The wonderful feelings.

So that's why I've created this program of four hypnosis tracks to build and be and have your own inner retreat. You can have whatever you like in that inner retreat. There could be rooms, there could be libraries, healing rooms, different lighting, maybe a fire in the corner, a special chair, maybe incense, anything that you choose.

Some people have a computer that stores all the memories you've ever had, that library of everything you've ever read or everything you ever need to know. Maybe a healing room, room where you can just go to and have your own inner healing or own inner relaxation. So what have I done? I've created these four tracks.

One to build, one to extend it whenever you need to extend it. And then to be able to go there for a particular period of time or even a longer period of time. So you've got two tracks of just going and being in that special place where you can, you know, take a problem with you, maybe muse it over in that special place, or you can leave it there, leave it to incubate in your unconscious mind.

So when you come back, well, you can just have the answers come or they might just come consciously. It's all there for you. All you have to do is go to poolclubonline.com forward slash retreat, have a look, give you a nice little video there, just see if it's for you.

I think it's a lovely little program. There's nothing to lose because there's a 30 day money back guarantee. It's a lovely program.

And I think it was one I wanted to do for myself because I just thought it's just a wonderful thing to do. I love retreats. But hey, this is your own personal one.

Have a look. Enjoy. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough.

It's time to fly and run. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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A Respectful Look at the Views of Others A Five-Minute Quickie from the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast Ever wondered how someone can hold a belief so different from yours — even the total opposite — and still be right? Well, in this five-minute (ish!) ramble, we explore one of NLP’s most important presuppositions: respect for another person’s model of the world. We all build our own "maps" of reality based on our experiences. But what happens when we genuinely listen to someone else's? Can we learn from it? Can it balance, challenge, or even evolve our own beliefs? In this episode:

• Why no one’s map is 100% the territory
• How curiosity leads to harmony (and less conflict)
• And why active listening could be your secret growth tool

Take a moment, a breath, a coffee — and muse with me. Test everything. Respect difference. Be curious. Want the full experience? Subscribe, follow, and share the hell out of this with someone open-minded like you!

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-506-a-respectful-look-at-the-views-of-others

And the video link https://youtu.be/yE9FVIl3nyo More fun than you can stand — wallow in curiosity! Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey. A little while ago we did a couple of five minute quickies about the, well, the convenient assumptions or presuppositions of NLP.

And I wanted to, just for five minutes, to muse about another one, another one. And it's all about respect. Respect for the other person's model of the world.

Because I don't know if you know that we all have our own models of the world and we all have our own maps. And someone said, you know, the map is not the territory. So if the map is not the territory and it's our map, but we're not really looking outside to find out what territory is, lovely metaphor, isn't it? But our world is, our world is a map.

And we believe it's true, don't we? Everything that we believe must be right because we believe it. And guess what? Other people have different beliefs. Sometimes a bloody opposite.

How is that? Because lots of things have happened in the past, their experiences, their backgrounds, their parents, everything you can think of has conspired with them to create beliefs and the choices they make in the world, which gives them more beliefs. And guess what, so have you. And you've formed this thing called a map, which may be right in some places, maybe not quite so right on others, but also there's a whole territory out there, which is constantly changing.

And if you think of this modern world right now, everything is changing so quickly too. And we're being overwhelmed by so much information, but also a lot of false information. So it's really distorting everything.

So how can our little map of the territory be right? But what we have to do, I think, is in order to get clearer, maybe other people's map, their territory, their, as we call it, model of the world, has something in it that we could learn from. Because there's always two sides of every slice of bread. See, there's something, but there's always two sides, isn't there? And maybe one side is buttered more than the other one is jammed.

I'm not quite sure where that metaphor went. But it's all about really just listening, I guess, listening to other people, their dialogue, what they're saying, what their beliefs are, and then just matching them with yours and seeing how something changed. Because you can change beliefs in an instant.

If something comes to you and you go, ah, I've seen it, I've done it, something has changed. All of a sudden, I never used to be able to do something. And you believe, ah, I could never do that.

And now you've tried it. And now you become skillful and a master at it. And everything changes.

And your belief about what you're capable of doing will always change. So I think this is great to have respect for other people's model of the world. So you can then go, oh, I wonder where that came from.

What did they know? Or what did they experience that I didn't to come to that conclusion? And it gives you, I don't like the word balanced, but I'm going to use it. You might be able to get a more balanced view, but you'll get the harmony of finding out what the blue in hell is going on in the world. Just listening to opposing views, as it were, gives you something to think about.

Especially if you can keep that respect by saying, well, you honestly hold that view. I wonder where it came from. Is there something in that that I'm not seeing or that I don't understand? And then you can ask questions and they can ask questions of you.

That's what I'd love to have happen. The moment in this world, you seem to be either right or left or this or extreme and that, which is, it's not right, is it? No one is always right. No one is perfectly right because there's no perfect thing.

And it's all about the context. But in this world of personal development and the things that we're learning, even different things that we're learning, is to call that a model of the world. And where did that model, how was that model formed? How was it created? And is it something I can take on board? And it's all about having respect for other people, I guess, and where their views came from.

And having an open mind, an open mind to listen, be an active listener. And then take time, as I love to do here in this five-minute quickie, to muse, to consider. So take it away and go, do you know what? I'm having a cup of coffee, a glass of water, my gin and tea, my frozen vodka, all that stuff.

Maybe just sitting down for five minutes and going, I wonder where that view came from. Could I learn something from it? Even if it reinforces my view, but at least I've listened. And that's what I'd love you to do with this podcast.

The longer podcasts, have a listen and really see if they gel with you. Does it work? Test the hell out of the processes that I share with you. I know they work, but they have to work for you.

And if they don't work for you, let me know, because then I can do something about it. I can mold them to whatever you need. But, you know, take nothing on face value, but look for the golden nuggets.

So that was a wonderful ramble, Cluffy. Yeah, a wonderful ramble for more than five minutes on a five-minute quickie to get you to think about things differently. Have fun and muse.

Didn't make sense at all, did it? But hey, something will have gone in. Okay, I'll see you later. Bye-bye.

Before you go, my friend, I'd like to ask you a question. Did you learn something from this, this episode? I hope you did, because even though every episode may not be the one that really floats your boat, sets you, you know, alight. Hopefully there's a takeaway in each and every episode for you.

And I'd love to know what it was. So please do email me at feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. It's a personal email to me. I'd love to know so we can carry on doing this work that will allow you to exceed your dreams.

And what's the payment for this? Payment, Cloughie? What are you talking about payment? I thought it was free. Well, it's like pay it forward. And if you could pay this forward in two ways, or maybe three, first way is please share it.

Share this podcast with as many people as you could. And you can. It's very easy.

Just press that share button. Send it off by email to them. You'd love to, this is something you might like, might get that right, Paul.

Something you might enjoy. And hey, if you could, a real big pay it forward to me is wherever you're getting this podcast, is it iTunes, Castbox, or Stitcher, or whichever you're getting from, Google Play, I don't know. Would you please just leave a review? Because the review really helps people find this podcast.

There's thousands out there. And we want to, or I want to direct people to this podcast. And the way to do it is by reviews.

So if you could do that, if you could share, you can do that. And also just make sure that you're subscribed. So you get this episode and every other episode on a Wednesday and a Saturday.

If you do all of that, my little heart will sing. And if you want me to sing, well, you'll have to wait and see. Enjoy.

But please do, do all of that. Make my heart sing. Bye-bye now.

Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly now. Be brave, my friend.

Personal development unplugged.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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454 Mental Wellbeing – Tools and Strategies Part 1 Two simple tools that could change everything.

We’ve all been through tough times — sadness, anxiety, OCD, loss of confidence, grief, loneliness… and it’s all “stuff” that affects your mental wellbeing. But here’s the thing: most of that big stuff? It started small.

In this episode of the Personal Development Unplugged podcast, I (Cloughie) guide you through two powerful, yet beautifully simple mental wellbeing tools. These aren’t fluffy techniques – they’re real strategies that help you:

• Acknowledge and neutralise uncomfortable emotions (instead of pushing them down)
• Interrupt anxious thoughts and looping inner dialogue
• Get clarity, create strategies, and take back control
• Transform worry into personal power and positive action

We do the work together. Right here. Right now. These are practical NLP-based tools you can use any time life throws you a curveball – no fluff, just real results.

🎧 Listen now and learn:

• Why ignoring “little stuff” makes it big
• How to speak directly to your unconscious mind
• What to do with that “weird feeling” you just can’t shake
• How simple curiosity creates profound change
• The power of specificity and intention in self-healing

This is Part 1 – more tools and techniques are coming soon. But these first two are game-changers. Start here.

🔁 Share this episode with someone who might need a gentle shift.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/454-mental-wellbeing-tools-and-strategies-part-1

📩 Email me your thoughts or requests at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com 💬 Want tools for a specific issue? Just ask – I’ll make a future episode for it. Don’t forget to subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcasts.

“In simplicity, there is genius.” Let’s keep it simple – and effective.

And remember: Have more fun than you can stand – and wallow in joy.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey friend, how you doing? I think, like most of us, I say most of us, pretty generality-Cloughie again, but we've all gone through some shit. We've gone through some dark times.

Well, certainly I have. And I think, because of that, it made me more interested in searching for tools, processes, protocols, whatever you want to call them, to assist in my mental well-being, but also to help other people's mental well-being. You know, even to the things of, I know you've got depression, you've got OCD, all that stuff, but you've also got not feeling bad, not feeling down, sad, alone, grief, so many different types of things that can affect your mental well-being.

Even the thing of just loss of confidence, loneliness, agoraphobia, or as they say, I think, in the US, agoraphobia. I don't know. But you fill in the blank, because anything and everything is part of, or is something that could affect your mental well-being, your mental health.

And over those years, because of that dark time, I found and developed, well, I found a lot of protocols, a lot of processes, a lot of tools, but I also used them to develop them in many different ways, to let go of, and I call it stuff. That's what I call these mental, or these issues that we have. They're just stuff.

And some of those processes, either I found or developed, or some I did develop completely by myself, some is just like an evolution that I just felt I could make it better. They'll help clients get rid of really big stuff. That's big stuff.

And you know what I'm going to say about big stuff is, if something is getting on you, is pulling you down, holding you back, making you feel really bad, and it's constantly on your mind, go and get it sorted straight away. Go and find a hypnotherapist, someone who does NLP, someone who does timeline therapy, who's a master hypnotist. Get it done really quickly, one-to-one.

You'll get it done in two or three sessions. Because if they can't do that, then they're not that good. But they should be able to do it really quickly.

But what about, here's the thing, and this is what this podcast is about, what about the everyday stuff, the little stuff? But the trouble with little stuff, you see, it starts little. Even if you've had a big problem and you've got rid of it, or you're experiencing bigger issues, they all started way back in the past, generally, and they were really small. And your unconscious mind tried to do something to help you to get over that issue, and then it started to do the same thing more often.

And then it did it in different contexts, which was similar but not the same. And after a while, you tend to find that issue is generalised into all different contexts, not just the one you started off with. So, getting hold of that little stuff is big stuff, if that makes sense.

Because it's a big deal. So, never just think. And I know we do, because we're bloody adults.

No, it's not that bad. It's not that bad at all. But it could be.

And why not just do something really quickly to get rid of it? Because then it won't generalise into bigger stuff. It won't generalise into every different area of your life. And the other thing what happens is, you deal with it, and what happens is the results you get, they generalise into every area of your life.

So, you become more confident, more likeable to yourself, all that stuff. You just feel more about you, and you take that everywhere, and it just keeps growing. But the thing is, the more I look for these things, the more I seek them out, I'm reminded of the simple stuff.

The simple stuff that I've learnt or developed. I think that's probably where I got into this thing, in simplicity there is genius. In simplicity there is genius.

In simplicity there is genius. Maybe that's why I got hooked on just that. I don't know, maybe it is.

Because I've always learnt that simple stuff really works. And I've seen it so many times. I've seen people who are superb in what they do, as in giving demonstrations of therapy.

And when things are going not quite the way they planned, they always say, do you mind if I go back to the simple stuff? And here's the thing, I'm not going to talk about any of that. What? No, I'm not going to talk about it. We're going to do them together.

And we're going to do them together now. Yeah, that's surprising, isn't it? So I want you to get ready to give yourself some time to experience, well, maybe a couple of processes. Simple processes that you can make a note of.

You can do it with me, so you know what it is. You can then come back and listen to this again. Mark the time, and then you can just do it whenever you want.

But at least you'll have the tools to deal with simple stuff really early, so it doesn't get to the big and the bad and the ugly. So what am I talking about? What type of issue are we talking about? Well, you know what I'm saying, and a lot of this is from my experience. You know when you wake up with a feeling, hmm, that's unpleasant.

It's just not, it just doesn't feel right. Or sometimes, you know, something happens. So I get this when I'm writing in my bloody journal.

I'm writing something, and all of a sudden I get like a negative emotion. I've triggered it myself. It's a feeling.

And it's not quite really sad, and it's not really down, and it's not, well, it's a sort of a worry. It is sort of anxiety-anxious, but it's, I don't know, it's one of those, oh, or it could be anxiety, or it could be worry, or it could be down, it could be sad, but it's just there. Have you had that? Because that's what I've had.

And this is the type of thing I'm thinking of, because they're starting off small. This is like how things start before they evolve into the bigger stuff. So what happens? What happens in the real world? What do we do with it? We get that funny feeling.

We don't like it. What do we do? We push the bugger away, don't we? Well, we try to. We push.

We push it down. We push it away. We try to ignore it.

That's another way of pushing it away, just ignore it. You know it's there, because it keeps coming back, doesn't it? And do you know what the answer is to that? It's a Bob Newhart thing. Stop it.

Have you ever seen, if you Google on YouTube, Bob Newhart, stop it. You'll see a great skit. But just stop it.

Stop pushing things away, because when you push them away, your unconscious mind will push it even harder, push back harder, because it's trying to do something for you. Yeah. So what do you do then, Cloughie? Come and tell us.

I'll tell you now. Here's a simple thing. Acknowledge it.

I said before, we don't accept these things, because accepting them is like I'm accepting that it's right, that it's okay. No, I'm acknowledging I don't feel good. I'm acknowledging maybe I feel a little bit of worry.

I'm acknowledging maybe I feel a little bit of anxiety, a little bit down, a little bit sad, a little bit whatever. You fill in the blank. And once we acknowledge it, acknowledge it by acknowledging that it has a reason for being here.

Okay. You know, I speak to my unconscious mind, speak out loud in my head. Okay.

I don't like this feeling, but I'm sitting with it for the moment, and I know you have a reason for being here. You're trying to do something for me. Let's do a little bit of work.

So what do we do? Well, what we do is, we take five minutes. Really, Cloughie? Yeah, five minutes. And we find somewhere where we can generally be undisturbed, because you don't want to be distracted, do you? Now, you might want to get a pen and paper to write some of this stuff down, but hey-ho, you can come back.

But I do, if you can, do it with me. So if you're going to do it with me, you know, maybe you can think of a time when you did have that funny old feeling, because it might come back. Find a little place where you'll be undisturbed, yeah? Because I want you to sit in that feeling and describe it.

Nothing else. We're not pushing it away, we're not trying to change it. We're just going to describe it in a minute.

And you're also going to say thank you for whatever you're trying to do. I don't know what it is yet, I just know you're trying to do something positive for me, so thank you. We're just not getting it right at the moment, but thank you.

And be honest with that part of you, that feeling, because it is trying to do something. If your best friend was trying to do something, but they weren't quite doing it right, you'd still say thank you, wouldn't you? And let's see if we can do it better. So, we're going to describe this feeling.

First of all, thank you. Get into it. And just sit there.

What? Yeah, just sit there, quietly. And begin to get curious. What does that mean? Well, the curiosity part goes, well, where is it exactly? And a lot of people go, oh, it's in my head.

Well, sometimes it is in your head, but sometimes it comes from somewhere else and goes to your head, where you make all those bloody pictures and movies and sounds and words. Just think, where is it in my body? You know, if it's in my head, where's it come from first? Because you tend to find, you know, worry and anxiety and sadness. It's somewhere normally in your gut.

Somewhere in your gut. That's a big generality, Cloughie, I know. But just sit there.

Where is it? Ah. And what I do, and what I do with my clients, I say, put your hand on it. Or roughly where it is, just put your hand on it.

So you're acknowledging it now, aren't you? You're going, oh, gotcha. So now you know where it is exactly in your body. Okay, that's a start.

A real acknowledgement. Does it have a size? What size is it? Oh, oh yeah. Well, it's actually this big.

And I get my clients to describe it. What size exactly? Show me with your hands. Fingers.

Show me how big it is. And now you know where it is and the size of it. Does it have a weight? Oh.

Actually, it's quite heavy. Oh, it's a bit light. Oh yeah.

Does it have a temperature, by the way? Is it hot, cold, neutral? Actually, when you think about it now, it's a bit cold. What else? What else? Does it vibrate? Does it move at all? No, it's pretty stationary at the moment. I can't really detect anything like that.

Okay, what colour is it? What? Yeah, what colour is it? You know, if it had a colour, what colour would it be then? Oh. Mm. Yeah.

It's a bit of a darky red. And now when you're really now getting access to it, because now you're really acknowledging it and you're being in that feeling. You're in there describing it.

Put your mind into it. Okay, I'm going right into this feeling, into my stomach. Into this size, this weight, temperature, this colour, this darker red maybe.

And just ask. What do you want from me? What are you trying to do? Now, sometimes an answer or an intuition will come to you. Not necessarily words, but it might be just like an idea.

Might come to you now. Or it might be a little bit later. Like being intuitive about something else.

Or you could add to this. What do I need to do or not do? What can I learn? And just get inquisitive. Curious.

Because intuition comes in so many different ways. It could come in words. It could come in a memory.

It could come in a different emotion. It could come in just a thought. And the thing is when you spend time putting your attention right into the centre of that feeling and you get curious of all these different, we call them sub-modalities, but just the different qualities of that feeling, you tend to notice it begins to fade because you've asked the right questions.

And sometimes as you're there you might say, well, I wonder what it would be. Because at the moment it's a darky red. What would happen if it was a blue? Because blue is quite calm for me.

What would happen if I changed that to blue? Just imagine then changing it to a colour. A colour of another emotion that comes to mind. Because what's the colour of understanding? What's the colour of calm? And just notice if you changed that feeling.

The colour of that feeling. Notice what happens. Now with my clients, what I do, I explain to them that every feeling has a movement.

It does move by the way. It moves in a circle. It's like it will either go clockwise, anticlockwise, flatwards, clockwise, anticlockwise, in some direction around your body.

Sometimes I say to my client, well, what would you imagine if you took, actually imagine it coming out of your body, flipping it round, spin it the other way, and come back into your body. What happens now? And I know what happens now by the way. I knew before when we did it.

They go, oh, it's gone. And if you want to know about that, go to hashtag 94. And I think there's a hypnosis track, hashtag 94.2. I don't know why it's .2. Normally .1, but hashtag 94.2. And it's spinning.

And it tells you how to change the colours and the spinning and the direction and things like that and how to get rid of things. But it's all about learning. Yeah.

There you go. And one of the big things you remember, or to remember, breathe. Take a breath before you start.

Pause. Set your intention. I'm going to get curious.

Maybe I should have said that at the beginning. Stop, pause. I'm going to get curious about this feeling because I want to find out and have it change into something more appropriate.

Because that's what it is. It's your unconscious mind using an emotion which is no longer appropriate. And we want to find a better one.

There you go. Let's do one more. Let's do one more.

Let's say we have a worry. A little anxiety over a thing. A person.

And it's starting to get out of control. It's like it's in your, I say that again, it's in your thoughts all the time. It's always there.

It's like a loop. And maybe there's a conversation you're having that's, by the way, you're not because it's in your mind. You're having a conversation with your bloody self even though you think you're having it with that other person.

Or if it's a thing and you think it's going to go wrong. It hasn't gone wrong yet, by the way, because you're just imagining it going wrong. And again, these are all, it's just your unconscious mind saying, let's prepare.

That's what anxiety is. It's just a thing to help you prepare. So what do you do? You say, okay, maybe we pause.

It's our intention. Because I want to acknowledge it again because it's all about acknowledging. Okay, you're there.

There's anxiety, there's worry. And I understand. It's only here to protect me.

Protect me in a way to get me to prepare. But the trouble is, your unconscious mind, what it does is, it gives you the worst of scenarios. And what happens? You see the worst of scenarios because it wants you to feel so bad that you really do prepare.

But then it gets overwhelming, doesn't it? And you don't prepare. That's what happens. So the intention to protect you from things going wrong is absolutely bloody wonderful.

It's just the behavior of seeing the worst scenario or going through the wrong conversations of how bad they are. So what do we do? Take another breath. And this time you need to get a pen and paper.

Pencil and paper. Because we want to get these thoughts, these worries out of our head. And if you put them on paper, you know then you can always come back to them.

So you don't need to think about it anymore. So what do you do? You go, I've got this worry, this anxiety, this thing going on in my head. What exactly is it? What is it, this anxiety? What's it about? And I peel the layers off.

Because we think, oh, it's because of that. Oh, no, it's not really that. It's just below that.

It's actually, maybe it's that. Oh, no, actually, it's about this one thing. I've made it bigger than it is.

It's not about that person everywhere. It's not about that event that's going to happen in the whole of it. It's that one little thing in that event.

It's that one little thing that I'm upset with that person about. Oh, I need that conversation. Get it on paper.

And when you get it down to specificity, which is a lovely word I love to use, bringing all the layers down to be so specific. What is this thing? Now when it's so small, you can bloody handle it now. Couldn't handle that bloody loop.

But now you go, ah, let's find a better way. So here's a way. Realistically, reasonably, what is the worst that might happen, that could happen, maybe happen? They're all very vague, aren't they? But this is realistically.

So the world's not going to end. Things aren't going to end up that way you've been thinking about. Well, maybe we just have a longer conversation.

Maybe someone might get a little upset. Maybe I've got to do a bit of extra work. Maybe someone's going to be upset.

Something like that. But that's all it's going to be. Okay, well now I know what realistically, reasonably, the worst that could happen, might happen, maybe happen.

What steps could I make to mitigate that and write them down? And there'll be at least four or five different options. Well, this is for me because I'm an options person. I can always find an option.

But you just throw those options down on that piece of paper. Well, I could do this, I could do that, I could do this, I could also do that because that would stop that and this would do that. And then you go, well, what's the best one? Or maybe what's the best two and put them together? And now in your head, you're thinking of a strategy.

And once you've got a strategy, your unconscious mind is starting to think of how it could implement that strategy. Because you've just now, what steps could I take? And your unconscious mind goes, oh, that's a bloody good question. I'm going to help you find those steps.

So it stops the worry because now it's working to a conclusion which will be a better way to protect you. And then you think, okay, I've got those few steps in mind, how to mitigate things. Let me think for a moment, take another pause, set your intention to visualise.

How would I like it to be? Yeah. How would I like this thing to pan out, to run? Yeah. So you can see it now, see it in your mind's eye, of you creating the scenario that you feel would be the best, the best thing that could happen.

And you might ask yourself as you're doing this, so what steps could I do? Might I do? What steps to take that might just ensure this happening? What are the emotions I'd like to have? What would be the best emotion that would help see this through? What would be the best belief to have? A couple of behaviours maybe. Those behaviours might be physically that you breathe differently, you stay calm, maybe you pause, listen, have patience, all those different things. Oh, they're good alternatives, Cloughie, yeah.

And the thing is when you start doing this, you know you've got it. And your unconscious mind again, while you're thinking about how I want it to be and what steps could I take and what would be the best emotion, your unconscious mind is trying on for you, finding better ways. And the thing about this is when you have your unconscious mind finding better ways, it has to use the better ways.

It can't go back to the old worry, because the old worry isn't as good as the new ways. And the thing is because you consciously and unconsciously are now aligned to this, and you're taking responsibility for it, for the action, and you're going to take action, you will feel a wonderful sense of empowerment. That's what it is, because you are now at the cause, the cause of these things that are going to happen.

And you're in charge. And yes, sometimes they may not pan out exactly, but I tell you what, they're going to pan out that much better than you ever were worrying about. And also you will act.

Is it called acting on your feet? Because you'll take intuitive action. If things aren't quite going according to plan, you'll go to one of those other mitigating actions. Different emotion, different behavior, different belief.

They'll evolve. And once you've done it once, it's a habit. Because your unconscious mind will always pick the best way.

There you go. Two lovely little tools. Two little tools to your mental well-being.

Two little strategies to your mental well-being. And this is only part one, I'm going to find more. I know I've got loads more.

But are they simple? Because guess what? In simplicity there is genius. In simplicity there is genius. I hope you enjoyed all that.

I hope I explained it so wonderfully clearly. Elegantly. Eloquently.

And all that stuff. Because I just want you to feel so empowered. Because you're in control.

And success breeds confidence. Because when you're competent, you will become more confident. And some of these might be a little stretch.

But the thing is, when you have this little bit of stretch. You're doing it for the wonderful reasons. You've got the wonderful positive intention in your conscious mind.

You're going to grow. Because you've got this. You've got this.

And I've got you. I'm supporting you. So if there's anything that you need a little bit more of.

Or if you go, Cloughie, those are great strategies. Great, because they are. Great tools, because they are.

But you say, what about, fill in the blank. What about this? Could I use it for this? Well, I might say yes. But I might say, well, actually, yes and.

What about this? And give me an idea of the tools and strategies that you want me to come back with. To deal with various issues. Do that.

Email me. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com Do that. I'll come back to you.

I'm the only bugger here. So I'll come back to you personally. And we'll create stuff for all of us.

There you go. Please do that. Please share the hell out of this.

I know most people don't, but if you would. My sons have set up a WhatsApp group. Just the four of us at the moment.

Yeah, four of us. I've got three sons. For sharing podcasts.

For sharing bits of information that we've found out. So nice. Sometimes it doesn't apply to me.

Sometimes it doesn't apply to one of my sons. But we all get it. And then because of that, I share it with other people too.

If they share something good with me, I go, ooh, so and so would like this. So please do share this if you would. Doesn't take a minute.

Just a link. And subscribe and follow. All that stuff.

Have so much more fun than you can stand. Yeah, wallow in happiness. And be surprised.

Just be surprised. Because you might feel happy all day. Go fly.

With the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly and run. Be brave, my friend.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

View Details

My Favourite Podcasts Hey! Just sharing some podcasts I really love. I think they’re pretty popular, but if you haven’t checked them out, give them a listen.

• Modern Wisdom (Chris Williamson):** Super thoughtful, articulate guy. Most guests resonate with me.
• Chase Jarvis Live:** Creative chats with honest, talented people.
• School of Greatness (Lewis Howes):* From athlete to business guy, really grounded and inspiring.
• Mark Devine Show:** Navy SEAL turned spiritual explorer—really cool to see that side of things.
• Making Sense (Sam Harris):** Deep, sometimes complex, but worth it.
• Jordan Peterson:** Thoughtful and deep—might need a dictionary at times!
• Jordan Harbinger:** Down-to-earth, real conversations.
• Think Fast, Talk Smart:** Tips on how to communicate better.
• Bill Burr’s Monday Morning Podcast:** Hilarious, honest, with some swearing.
• Joe Rogan:** Wide range of guests, super popular.
• Ass-Breaking Motivation:** Gets you fired up—some shouty, some inspiring.

Would love to hear your favorites too! Send me an email at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Sharing is caring, and it helps us all grow.

And hey, make notes of those golden nuggets—you never know when you’ll need them.

That’s it for now. Keep learning, keep sharing, and let’s make this world a better place. Speak soon!

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-505-me-and-the-podcasts-i-like-and-learn-from

And the video of this episode is here https://youtu.be/2B7hfTQopa0

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey friend, 5 minute quickie and as you know, I tend to, well I do always, I always ask would you share the podcast, share the episode, because it does help. And what I thought was, although I always share episodes of other podcasts to my friends, my family, certainly my sons, who I think it'd really help.

I thought today, I just share the type of podcasts that I think are really good. They certainly help me and it's something I look forward to. So they are pretty popular, I think.

So maybe they're nothing too exciting, but they are really, really good. And the first one is a guy called Chris Williamson. I got my phone here because I need it for this, but he is brilliant because it's called the Modern Wisdom Podcast.

Now, as with all things, some of the guests don't resonate, but with this guy, most of them do. But the most important thing for me is he is so thoughtful, so articulate. I would really, really love to be that articulate with the use of words and his thoughts.

So that's one you really ought to look, well, not you ought to, but if you wanted to, you could look for and see what comes up. You've got things like the Chase Jarvis, what's it called? Chase Jarvis Live Podcast. Chase Jarvis was a photographer, but he's a creative and he brings on creative people.

And I love that creativity and intuitive creativity. But he seems to be a rock solid guy. Very, very honest.

So I love that one. One very similar to that is a guy called Lewis Howes with the School of Greatness. Again, not all the same, but he used to be like a super duper college football guy and things like that.

Turned himself into this wonderful podcast guy, business and things like that. But it just gets guests, but he is so grounded and it just seems to, again, find the right balance of guests to come along. There's a great one I love to listen to.

And that's a Mark Devine show, an ex Navy SEAL, who not only is in the big, strong Navy SEAL stuff, but also into spiritual awareness, meditation, intuitive, inside, unconscious, all the stuff we do here. And I love that. I love that to see someone who has been in the forefront of battle and now realizing that there's so much more to us that makes us the people we are.

And that's awesome. So have a little look at that one. What else have I got? If you like more talking, I listen to a little bit of the old Making Sense with Sam Harris.

Again, not always, not always, but if I want to have a little listen to something different, as well as Jordan B. Peterson. Again, really, two really articulated guys and very thoughtful guys. Now, whether you agree with them or whether you don't, it's good to listen to the other side, isn't it? To get an idea what is, well, what is going on in minds that are great thinkers.

I know sometimes I have to have a dictionary beside me to understand the words, but again, it's another expression of learning and the guys are thoughtful and they're positive. So I love that. If you like the Jordan Harbinger show, I love this guy.

I've emailed him a few times and he always replies and he's such a, I think just a good down-to-earth guy and natural. And when he has a conversation, and I mean a real conversation, I think those episodes are absolutely brilliant. So have a listen to that.

And then the last one, well, it's not the last one, but one I just found a little while ago and it's Think Fast, Talk Smart. It's Talk Smart. It's a lovely podcast and it's all about teaching you how to have a conversation, how to talk, how to communicate.

And it gives you some wonderful little tips. And they're not just little tips, they're real solid things that you go, oh, wow. Oh, I know that and I'm bloody not doing it.

Well, we talk about that a lot, don't we? On the longer podcast, all the stuff that I don't do and want to do more of. Also, if you really want just a little bit of a laugh, I also listen to the Monday Morning Podcast with Bill Burr. Again, if you want to hear somebody who can articulate, but in such a wonderful, I call it a wonderful way, a lot of swearing in it, that's awesome.

But for me, don't care. It's awesome. But to have a guy who can just talk and talk and talk, I think it's an amazing skill.

And just to listen to that, something to aspire to, not necessarily the language. Everyone's different taste, but it's so good. And then if you go to Spotify, there's obviously the Joe Rogan, let's do a bit of that.

And there's another one I've found, which is, I'll just find it now on my phone, because it's such a good one. It's called the Ass-Breaking Motivation Podcast. And if you want to listen to something that's just going to motivate you, he's got so many good speakers there who just go, some of them shout, some of them do shout at you a little bit.

And I think sometimes that's maybe a bit too much. But if I'm getting a little bit down, I just want to get something in my ears that suddenly go, come on, Cloughie, let's get going. That's a great one.

So there you go. If you have any podcasts that you think are really good, I'd love to hear from them or hear about them. So if you could send me an email on feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com, I'd love to hear them so I can have a route around, and we can share them too.

I think it's so good to, there's so much information around, yet do we really, we get overwhelmed and it's good to have other people sift about for us and go, do you know what, I've listened to this and it's really good. It's a bit like when you get a book, sometimes it's nice to read the reviews and find, actually, not quite what I was thinking. You get a balanced view of it.

So there you go. That's just a few things. I just like to share things, what I'm listening to.

And I think if you listen to those, as well as this podcast, obviously, there's such a wealth of learning there. And they all seem to be looking after little old planet Earth and trying to do something for all of us. And that theme is something that I'm really powerfully attracted to, and I want it in my life.

So hopefully that helps. Just something to share, a bit lighthearted this time, and enjoy. Press the play button on every podcast you can get.

And what I would say is though, and the things I try to do, is make bloody notes, so you can remember the good stuff, the golden nuggets, because there's golden nuggets put around everywhere. Okay. Anyway, till the next time, my friend, I will see you, or you'll hear from me, come to my mind of the personal development unplugged kind.

Time to fly. Bye-bye. It will help you, and it will help, well, everyone that you know.

So if you could just subscribe and share. Share this podcast to everyone you blooming well know. That's the only cost.

Pay it forward to everyone. And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet Earth of ours, and the people in it. Let's make a good world.

A nice world. Okay. Okay.

You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough.

It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

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Kindness: The Next Superpower Hey my friend—kindness… a superpower? Really?

In this longer, deeper episode of the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast, Cloughie explores why kindness is one of the most underrated forces for change—inside and out. In a world that feels increasingly self-centred, reactive, and short-tempered, a simple act of kindness can disrupt the noise and spark real transformation.

This is part personal confession (yes, Cloughie admits to being “a bit of a dick”), part gentle wake-up call, and 100% full of practical reflections to help you become more self-assured and more connected to those around you.

What you’ll discover: * Why kindness isn’t weakness—it’s proof of deep inner strength * The surprising return on investment of a small act of kindness * How to shift from frustration to compassion (even in traffic!) * Why you sometimes forget your own kindness—and how to bring it back to mind * A reminder to start by being kind to yourself, because that’s where it all begins * How kindness feeds into your personal goals and dreams—if you choose to include it

You’ll also be invited to: * Reflect on the kindness you've received and how it shaped you * Review your day for simple “kindness moments” (smiles count!) * Set an intention to actively make the world a better place—starting today

This episode isn’t fluffy—it’s practical. It’s a reminder that we don’t need to wait for the world to change. We start with us. One kind moment at a time.

Be kind—pass it on: If this touched something in you, share the episode with someone you care about. https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/453-kindness-the-next-super-power/

Subscribe or follow to never miss a moment of mindset magic, deep musings, or a little friendly self-hypnosis. And if you’ve not yet explored all the free hypnosis at paulcloughonline.com, now’s a good time.

Because whatever you think you are… you’re more than that. Let’s fly

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey my friend. Kindness, a superpower.

Really? This, I think, is one hell of a message to me, and especially what I see around the world and in my own world. And the guy who's knocking all sorts of stuff above me, you may hear his hammer going, but that doesn't matter. I'm going to show a little bit of kindness to him too.

But why do I think kindness is a superpower? You see, I think it's our impact, your impact, my impact in such a self-centered world that we live in now. And I have to ask the question, I ask myself the question of myself, why is kindness so hard to show? Or just being kind, hard to do? You know, when you think about kindness, the return on investment, if you want to look at it in business terms, is great. The effect is massive.

It affects you in your mind, your body, your emotions, your experiences. It affects other people's experiences, their mind. It affects everything.

And that's just people. What about if you're kind to little old planet Earth? Look after planet Earth. And you see, this is what got me.

We've all probably been out, if you drive anyway, but something similar. You're driving in a car, someone cuts you up. We're all driving nicely and they just have to push in.

They have to push in. And you get, oh, you give it a good old beep on your horn. And maybe your mouth off something and things like that.

But, you know, inside you're angry. You're angry. And you chose to be angry though.

Did I? Yeah, you chose because you didn't need to be. Because when you think about it, that cutting in probably added a second to your journey. That's it.

That's all it did. Maybe two seconds if it was a really big cutting in. So even if you let in, this is what told me a long time ago.

Even if you let in, say 30 people into the stream of traffic that you're driving, you're going to be a minute late, a minute later. But you've been kind to 30 people and it will rub off on them because next time they'll let somebody else in. Because it happens that way.

Might not get them all, but you'll get most. And I had, to me, it was a horrible example because it was a horrible example of myself not being kind. See, I parked and I thought I parked pretty well.

Parked my car and I was just about to go and walk away. And this person came along and said, excuse me, can you just move your car up a little bit, please? I can't get in. And I thought they said it like that.

I'm not sure whether they did or not. I thought there was a little bit of tone in their voice. And I looked at them and I thought, well, I will.

And I actually said, well, I'll move it, but I'm not moving it very much. I'll only move it a little bit. And then I did.

And then I walked away. And as I was walking away, I thought to myself, Cloughie, I'm going to swear here, you're a fucking dick. You're a dick.

What the hell's the matter with you? You're moving a car for God's sake, so someone could park their car and make it a little bit safer for everybody. So I turned around, try to make amends, go back and apologise. I thought it was the best thing to do.

I want to go back and apologise. They weren't bloody there, were they? They'd gone. Oh, dull.

I really wanted to do something, but there I am. They've probably got an impression of me, which isn't the one that I wanted to show. I've got this impression in me that I didn't want to have.

I didn't want those feelings. Now I'm guilty. Certainly wasn't kind.

But the good thing was the universe, the multiverse had a way of paying it back. Because the very next day, I was just about to pull into a parking space on my way to the gym. And I was waiting to get in because I couldn't get in because there was an old lady there, trying with a trolley, shopping trolley, to get a big bag of compost soil in her car.

She couldn't lift it. And she kept looking at me. And I got straight out.

I said, Don't worry, don't worry. Let me lift it in for you. This is my turn.

And I put it in there and I said, Please don't hurry back. Just take your time. It's not going to interrupt me.

And she was so appreciative that someone actually stopped and helped, not just looked. That's what we do sometimes and just watch. And she felt good.

Plus, it helped her. And I felt, well, I felt good. But at least I'd made amends.

And that was like, something good for me. Because I was really, I was guilty of being a dick. And the thing is, that kindness I showed to that lady, or any kindness we show.

Some people think, it's a form of weakness. But how can kindness be weakness? To me, I think it's a show of strength, inner strength, because then you're self-assured. Because you are prepared to help somebody else.

You know, it's an act of selfless service. I don't want anything from you. I don't want anything in return.

I'm just going to be kind. And if you go back to my previous podcast, not too far away, hashtag 451, all about being self-assured. And you can be self-assured in yourself and exude kindness.

You can become that kind person. And I know this is that note to myself. I had to, and I think that's why I wrote all this out, there's some notes about it.

But let's dive a little deeper, because I like to take the frame off things now and dive a little deeper. So here's a question to you, to you. Here's a question.

Have you ever been kind in your life? Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever? Of course you have. Think of maybe just one time. And what was the effect of showing that kindness? What was the effect? And I know what it was.

It would have been massive, even though it might have been hidden a little bit. Because you won't see where the ripples of the effect goes, how far it went into that person, into the people that they love, or the effect that had on their behavior, the effect it had on their emotion, their thoughts, their thoughts about themselves, about you and about others. And following that, just remember, how did you feel? Because it cost you nothing, did it? Well, it cost a little bit of time, a little bit of effort.

It didn't really cost you anything. But how did it make you feel? Now, you might say, oh, it made me feel nice, Paul, but get a bit closer to that, closer to that emotion. Because underneath that, oh, it was nice.

There's a little bit of awesomeness, isn't there? Just a little bit of awesomeness, because you go, yeah, that felt good. That really felt good. Yeah.

I want to ask you another question on a similar vein. Have or has anyone been kind to you, shown kindness to you in your life? Well, I know the answer. Of course, it's yes.

And just think, if you think right now, just think back to any one of those specific times, try to be specific, and think, how did you feel when you were shown kindness, an act of kindness? Wasn't it good? Didn't you feel, oh, a little bit special, maybe, or so thankful, gratitude that someone would put themselves out for you? And it might not have been that massive act of kindness, but there isn't really a measure of kindness, is there? Because kindness is just kindness. And it made you feel, well, what did you think about them? What do you think about them? What did you think about that person who showed you that act of kindness? Didn't you just feel so grateful, or maybe there's a bit of respect, underneath there's respect? And the thing is, as we say, how big does an act of kindness have to be? Because it's obviously going to be massive, isn't it? To make an effect. Yeah, of course it does, Paul.

What about a smile? Well, just a simple smile as you walk along. That's kindness, isn't it? Just to acknowledge somebody, a nice smile. Hey, how you doing? Good to see you.

That's nice, isn't it? Especially if it's genuine, of course, it's got to be genuine. But just that real genuine smile, I'm pleased to see you. Makes you feel good, doesn't it, when someone does it to you? Have you noticed when you smile at somebody, they smile back? And you can see on their face, there is a warmth there.

Maybe just a helping hand, maybe just a helping hand, just lifting something, opening a door, just being careful, just giving a little bit of help. And it can go from all that to saving lives. Because you don't know what your act of kindness might do, because that person might be on a downer.

And you've just shown them the door, the door to life. And you didn't know it. And suddenly you've become a lifesaver without knowing it.

And you didn't know how far the ripples of your kindness would go. And you never will, you never do. And it doesn't matter.

It's that act of selfless service, which you just do for no want of reward. But you just know, you're going to feel good about it. And that's the thing about it, you just feel good yourself.

And it's really, I guess, and this is a reminder to myself, I know, seeing the opportunity. And thinking about all of this, I was reminded of a story, a true story, told by a guy called Geoff Thompson, who is a lovely man who does lots of kind things. And he was getting a little bit frustrated about seeing all the, call it ills of the world, where you're getting like politicians who were taking things and not being true and all the falseness in the world.

And he was getting upset and his wife just said to him, look, Geoff, look out your window. He said, what about the window? He said, look out the window. This is where you live.

This is where you can make a difference. This is where you do make a difference. The people that pass by.

And also you make a difference to the people who email you, you take time out to speak to them, to write to them. So you can make a difference. Maybe you won't change those big things straight away, but you can make a difference at this level.

Everyone can make a difference at this level. So in some ways, what I'm saying is, can we incorporate part of our self-development or within our self-development, the act of kindness, which means actively incorporating within our goals, our dreams, and our daily actions. You see, we know when you look to a goal, a dream, an aim in mind, we always look for that ecology.

Every process that I do here and with a client has ecology in mind. Good for them, which is good for you. Good for others, the people around you and little old planet earth.

So one thing you have to do, I think, when you think about incorporating kindness, we need to go through that ecology. So when we're incorporating kindness into our dreams, our goals, our aims in mind, our daily actions, anything that we're doing with when we set our intention, we should first of all be kind to ourselves. Because if you can't be kind to yourself, you can't really be kind to others.

You have to start with yourself. And that is doing things like stop berating yourself if you feel you haven't lived up to your standards, your values. Just stop, pause, take some time out.

Ask yourself, well, what can I learn from that? How can I do it differently? Maybe treat yourself, just be kind, don't be a big treat, just treat yourself with a little bit of time, something special just for you. Be kind to yourself. What about others? Well, keep a lookout, keep a lookout for opportunities.

Opportunities to be kind each day. You might want to set a target of a minimum of one thing, a day of kindness. And then when you review each day, you can actually go, well, where was I kind today? Maybe there'll be more than one when you do that.

I think there will. And how did it make me feel when I did it? Because when you relive that feeling again, your unconscious mind gets it and looks for more. And then you can just also review, well, when were others kind to me? And how did that make me feel? And when you do that, again, your unconscious mind gets it, it looks for opportunities for that kindness to come into your life.

So this is just basically a reminder, I guess, certainly a reminder for me to be kinder in the world. So if you could, it'd be nice if you just set your intention to create a better world, a better you. For me, I want to be a better Paul.

Maybe you could be a better you with a little bit of active, loving kindness. There you go. That's it.

Is it soppy? I don't think so. I'd love to share this with the people that you know, your contacts, maybe do it on social media. If you would, that'd be good.

Let people know about the things that we do here at Personal Development Unplugged and the podcast and all the other stuff with all that free hypnosis that you and if you would share that, subscribe and all that stuff. But if you would, it would be great if you did to pay it forward. That would be really, really, really, really, really kind.

But this is just a reminder. I know I've talked about it before, but it's just, I think sometimes we just in this world, when we look at the news and what's happening in it, we need to start where we can make the best effect. So there you go.

I'd love to hear about it. If you can email me feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. I'd love to hear your thoughts about this. The things that you've noticed when you reviewed, how it made you feel, the effect and what your plans are.

And if there's anything that you have an issue with, let me know and we'll do a special episode just for that issue right now. Okay. So go fly.

We all need time to de-stress, don't we? We all need that space. Everyone needs space. Our own place of personal retreat and going to retreats are great.

But if you can't, why not have one in your mind? You know, if you don't go to that special place, that stress just builds and builds but if you have a place in your mind where you can go and de-stress, work out problems, think of all the wonderful things that you'll be able to do. The wonderful feelings. So that's why I've created this program of four hypnosis tracks to build and be and have your own inner retreat.

You can have whatever you like in that inner retreat. There could be rooms, there could be libraries, healing rooms, different lighting, maybe a fire in the corner, a special chair, maybe incense, anything that you choose. Some people have a computer that stores all the memories you've ever had, that library of everything you've ever read or everything you ever need to know.

Maybe a healing room, room where you can just go to and have your own inner healing or own inner relaxation. So what have I done? I've created these four tracks, one to build, one to extend it whenever you need to extend it and then to be able to go there for a particular period of time or even a longer period of time. So you've got two tracks of just going and being in that special place where you can, you know, take a problem with you, maybe muse it over in that special place or you can leave it there.

Leave it to incubate in your unconscious mind so when you come back, well you can just have the answers come or they might just come consciously. It's all there for you. All you have to do is go to poolclubonline.com forward slash retreat, have a look, give you a nice little video there, just see if it's for you.

I think it's a lovely little program. There's nothing to lose because there's a 30-day money back guarantee. It's a lovely program and I think it was one I wanted to do for myself because I just thought it's just a wonderful thing to do.

I love retreats but hey, this is your own personal one. Have a look. Enjoy.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.

Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]

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“I’m Stupid — I Don’t Understand / They’re Stupid — They Don’t Understand Me” Another Five-Minute Quickie for those deeper musings…

Ever thought “they just don’t get me” or “I must be thick because I don’t get them”? Here’s a fresh lens: The meaning of your communication is the response you get — a golden presupposition of NLP.

In this episode, we dive into:

• Why it’s your responsibility to be understood
• How feeling misunderstood (or stupid) is a communication challenge, not a personal flaw
• Simple ways to change the way you speak so your message lands
• A mindset shift to stop blaming others (or yourself) when communication fails
• The power of reflection and “musing over a G&T” to grow your emotional intelligence

If you’ve ever felt unheard or misjudged, this episode is your 10-minute reframe.

Press play. Muse. Learn. Share.

Subscribe, follow, and most of all — share this with someone who needs it. Let’s spread better communication, understanding, and kindness, one listen at a time.

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

So back with another five minute quickie slowdown, lovely. And it's another presupposition of NLP.

A useful assumption. And what's it going to be about? Forget the NLP bit, it's neuro-linguistic programming. I love the funny thing.

It's so associated with hypnosis as well and it's what I do. But I'm going to explain this thing. One of these useful assumptions and it is very simple.

It says the meaning of the communication is the response you get. You see, who's responsible for understanding? Who's responsible for understanding? It's a weird question, isn't it? I mean, there are people, and you might be one of them, I know I am, that will say something and someone doesn't get it. And you go, oh, come on.

You just don't get it. What is the matter with you? Are you stupid? Well, you might not say stupid, but you might bloody think it, don't you? What's the matter with them? Why don't they get it? It's their responsibility to get it. No, it isn't their responsibility.

It's bloody yours. You're giving this communication out. And if they don't get it, that's you.

Because you didn't get the response you want, you need to change your style of communication, the way you do it. Because I had these experiences before where people would be working in the building industry and people would talk to the lads on the tools. But they'd talk to them in pictures.

They'd talk to them in very specific details. And those guys use their hands. They want things described how they're going to do things.

Because if you keep saying, well, if you think of that picture, what it's going to be like when we're finished, they haven't got a bloody clue. They want to know how you pick something up, how you want it to be done. And when I explained this to people who were not getting the results, they changed.

Guess what? Their communication was brilliant. It's so simple. But the simple thing is, the difficult thing is, there's simplicity, there's genius, but it makes it bloody difficult sometimes.

It's hard to do. You have to do it. It's easy but hard because you have to think.

And this is where the musing comes from. Am I getting my message across? Am I getting my message across the way I want it to be received? Because it's not their responsibility. It's mine.

And in the same way, if someone is talking to you and you don't understand it and you go, oh, I must be such a klutz. I'm so dumb. I'm stupid.

I just don't understand it. No, that's their responsibility. If they're using words that you don't understand, then they're an idiot.

Well, they're not an idiot. They're behaving like an idiot because they are not adapting their communication to you so you can understand it. Now, I know you can help them by saying, what the bloody hell do you mean? Can you explain it in a different way? That'd be a better way.

I'm not getting this. Can you explain it in a different way for me? Little things like that. So this is the musing.

Are there instances that you've had in the recent past where you've tried to explain something and it didn't go in the way you wanted it? The musing is, how can I change what I said to allow that message to be received in the way I intended it to be? That's one way. Or is there something that when I was listening to somebody else that I didn't get, how could I have responded in a way that would get them to understand that they're doing it in a way that is not working? They have to change their communication in order for me to understand. It's not my responsibility to understand.

I just got to get it. And when we learn those things and muse about them, the next time it happens, you say, am I explaining this properly? Am I explaining this in a way that you understand it? I'm getting the feeling that you're not getting what I want, what I'm trying to put over. Okay, let me put it in another way.

Or I'm really interested in the subject, but I don't quite get the words you're using. Can you use them in my language so I can get it? And when you get those type of things in your musings, next time, because you can imagine it happening, next time you start to learn better. Because then you get to learn how to converse with people, communicate with people, because you're getting the response you aim for.

Or you're learning from other people. I mean, one little side thing. People in NLP use some bloody weird words.

And the most confusing thing is when you're reading one of their books, and you have to keep looking up the words. Damn, that just destroys everything, doesn't it? It comes so hard to do. It's an effort.

You have to put energy in trying to not understand the concept, but understand the bloody words they're using. And it's gone. You're off with the fairies.

You're dreaming of something else. I'm in my head thinking, la la la la la. And that's not the intention that they wanted, or the thing that they wanted.

And ideally, they could have something that you could learn from and use in the future. So somebody muses over your coffee. These assumptions, useful assumptions, the meaning of communication, the response is the response it gets.

That's so useful. Instead of just moaning about other people, no, they just don't get it. Oh, I must be so stupid because I didn't get it.

No. Have a think. Muse over your coffee.

You know what I'm going to say next. Over your G&T. There's the other one.

The iced vodka. Oh my goodness. Sit back, chill.

That's the way I do it. But you might be a glass of water person. It doesn't matter.

But when you've got a few minutes in the day just to take a breath, take a pause, because that always works, to and here's something you can do while you're pausing. To recalibrate, to just get yourself in in the next wonderful state. And you learn on the way.

So we're using musings to learn. That's what the five-minute quick is about. I hope I made, I made it.

I hope my communication got the response that I was wanting for you to get maybe curious of how you can change the way you speak and notice when you're not being understood or being or understanding. If you would, that'd be great. Let me know.

Let me know if I did. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. That's my email. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

You know, do you think they're bloody, these are useful assumptions are absolutely rubbish or what more have you got, Cloughie? Because there are more. And yeah, I just love your feedback of how this is going and if there's anything else you want. So if you could do that and oh, by the way, press subscribe, press follow, all those things.

And baby, now this is, I want to be really clear now. Have you shared? Shared this, this podcast? There you go. Something to muse even more.

Have fun. Have fun, my friend. See you soon.

So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe. It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people. And we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them.

And this will help help the podcast. It will help you and it everyone that you know. So if you could just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you know.

That's the only cost. Pay it forward to everyone. And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet Earth of ours and the people in it.

Let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay. Okay.

You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough.

It's time to fly now. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai.

Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]

View Details

The Key To Unlocking Your Potential What if everything you want is already within you—just waiting for permission to emerge?

In this unplugged deep dive, I share the true, no-fluff key to unlocking your potential… and it’s not just motivational fluff or clickbait—it’s practical, doable, and wildly empowering.

You'll explore:

• What potential really is (and the Latin origin may surprise you)
• Why you’re not living up to it (yet)
• How to smash that invisible box of limiting beliefs
• A simple 10-minute imagination exercise that can change everything
• How to prime your unconscious mind for success
• The tiny, powerful decision that turns dreaming into doing

No guru-speak. No hype. Just honest tools to unlock your inner power and go further than you thought possible.

Because your potential isn’t fixed. It’s only limited by one thing… and it’s time to break that.

"You choose to empower yourself. I’ll give you the key—you turn it." — Cloughie Listen now and take the first step toward your true, limitless self.

Share this with your friends, start a WhatsApp group like Paul’s boys did, and spread the power of potential.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/452-the-key-to-unlocking-your-potential

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from Pixabay.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

And what a title, eh? What a title. The Key to Unlocking Your Potential. And it's not clickbait, by the way.

It's not clickbait, because I do have a key. But think of this, though, first, as a question to you. Why is unlocking your potential, my potential, anybody's potential, important? I know we think it's obvious.

And it's also probably hiding in plain sight. Because there's a question. Do you ever ask yourself, am I living up to my potential? Well, I'm guessing you probably don't.

It could be just me, though. I don't know. It could be just me.

I know I don't. I don't ask that. I strive for it sometimes.

I strive for it the best I can, set my intentions. But do I ever look back and go, was I really living up to my potential? The other question we never ask is, what would happen if we did? What would happen if we did ask that? Are we living up to our potential? And again, the answer is probably bloody not. Or is that just me again? Because when we get into what really potential is, we can never actually be living it, I guess.

But we can strive to be better than we were. And we have that striving to live to our potential, be living a life with the aim of being over our potential, up to our potential. If I'm trying to get the words right, you see, if you just think that with me, just for a moment, what would it be like? What would it be like if you were living a life, living up to your potential? What would it be like? What would you feel? What would it feel like when you're doing all the things you want to do? And they're probably way beyond your thoughts at this moment.

Because we're not probably living up to our potential anyway. So what would our potential be? But if we could just shake off any limits in our head, in our mind, what might you be doing? What would your potential allow you to do? What would it attract you to? Just for a moment, I'm sure you're thinking about it just as I am. Imagine it now.

Now take off those shackles, any limiting beliefs, because they're the buggers that, well, they just get in the way, don't they? Just imagine if you took away every limiting belief that you have. You forgot about all those negative experiences of the past. And you were doing the thing or things you were meant to be doing on this world, living up to your potential.

What might you be doing? Yeah, it's hard to see sometimes, but if you, I can know if I can't see exactly what I might be doing. I know it'd be at least minimum, twice as much as I'm doing now. I'd be twice as successful as I am now.

And I don't mean successful as in, oh, you're big, you're getting all this, you're doing that. No, twice as successful in the things that I want to do. I'd be achieving twice as much as I set out to do.

I'd be reaping the benefits of that. And that could be in richness as in monetary, but it could be richness in experiences, meeting people, learning from people, mentoring people, getting taught, being a mentee, because you would put yourself out there because you'd want to make sure that you are living that life. Play with it just for a moment.

So take off those shackles, limiting beliefs, just disappear, past experiences disappear. And if you could have whatever you wanted, which is in some ways potential, what might you see? What might you hear? And then just feel it, feel it, feel what it might be like. And that's just to whet your appetite.

That's just a snippet. You see, I think we need to, there's so many questions here. What limits your potential? You know, think about it now, what does or what is limiting your potential? And for me, my thoughts were, it's a box we allow ourselves to live in.

We choose to live in. Choose, choose to live in a box. Yeah, a box where we let past experiences define us.

And those past experiences create limiting beliefs. And most of those limiting beliefs are not even our own. Where do we get them from? Well, we either got them from other people, mainly our parents.

Where do they get them from? Well, maybe their parents and their grandparents and grand, all those generations ago and the world is changing so much. Those limiting beliefs are just what they are. They're limiting beliefs, trying to do a good thing for you.

I know, but they're no longer appropriate. And we're choosing to allow them to be the walls of this box that we choose to live in. And I'm picking my words quite carefully, you're choosing to live in.

And it could be me, by the way. But I know this is like just being safe sometimes in this box. It feels safe in the way that which is not a comfort zone.

It's just a zone that we we just know it. We just know we're here. And we don't want to go above or outside the boundaries.

And to keep you in there. We'll even have those wonderful beliefs either. I'm not good enough, that'll keep you in the box.

Or I'll never be good enough. Oh, shit. That's even going to take you even further into the future because I'll never be good.

I'm not just right now. Right now, I'm not good enough. But in the future, I'm not good enough.

And it's any of all that any of all that any of all that true. No, it's bloody bullshit, isn't it? We know it now. But we're choosing to live in this box made up of these limiting beliefs made up from past experiences.

And the past is a bloody past and the past is gone. We can learn from them. So we get even better in the future, not unlearn from them, as it were, and make the box even stronger.

Now I know on certain things, I've managed to do that. I managed to change some limiting beliefs, because by the way, I do all this for a living. Therapy, NLP and all that stuff.

But yeah, I'm a human as well. Guess what? I'm a human. And yeah, things come and blindside us, but you work at it.

You can change but sometimes you have to work really hard. Because even though these processes are easy, they're not complicated. I don't do complicated processes.

But they do take effort, that effort is rewarded so much. And that effort is really just sometimes just choosing by setting your intention. And I think we can all see that little box just imagines now being in that box, which is strengthened by those limiting beliefs, and now the lack of imagination.

And I can understand that. Let's give us give ourselves just a little bit of ease there. Because we've had that, excuse me, we've had that imagination knocked out of us by those experiences, by other people.

We've listened to other people, we've been affected by the noise outside. But I've decided, I've decided that's not going to happen. No more.

Not going to happen to you, not going to happen to me. And it's not going to happen to you if you choose, just sitting in this moment, just for a moment, to play. Play with your mind, play with your imagination.

And then let's just see what happens. Let's just see what happens. So just for a moment, look around, look around and notice everything that you can see.

Yeah, the chair, the lights, maybe you're looking at a computer, maybe you've got your telephone out or whatever it is. But even outside that, everything you see, everything you see was first an idea. And that idea was sparked by imagination and then action.

And that imagination and action was supported by the belief of something like, I can do this. Ah, I get to do that. I get to do this.

Everything you see, absolutely everything, everything you read about, even the book, even whatever, all started with an idea sparked by imagination. And the most, well, they're really powerful beliefs, but they're really subtle. They're just, I can do this.

Because when you believe I can do this, you bloody can. Right, the technical bit, sort of technical. I had to look at what potential is, as in the definition, because I thought, well, we can talk about potential all you like, but what are we actually talking about? And I looked at the Latin.

Yeah, I didn't understand a word of it, but I did find out potential is being able, which allows you to have power and currently unrealised ability. Now think of that currently unrealised ability, which means you have the ability, but it's just unrealised. Because you are able and when you are able, and you do realise this, you have power, which is your potential.

And it's unlimited, by the way. There is only one limit on your potential. And there's only one person who can limit that potential.

You know the answer. So frigging obvious, it's you, but it's a limit of your imagination. Who puts a limit on your imagination? That fucking box that we created, we chose.

So if we chose it, we created it, we can just let it disappear now. Because you have the ability. You're just not realising yet.

Yet, yet, capital Y-E-T, yet. You see, I made a note, who sets the limit to your potential? And I just wrote fucking you. Sorry about the swearing, but I did.

You and the use of your imagination. Who sets a limit on your imagination? I actually wrote fucking you again. Just me, all me.

I'm talking about myself, by the way. Because it's like when I write these notes, I'm writing notes to myself. It's like sometimes my unconscious mind gives me a good kick out the backside.

And that's it, full stop. That's all there is. It's you.

It's me. I limit my potential. You're limiting yours.

And I don't care. You might say, yeah, but I'm the most successful person in the world. You could have more if you wanted it.

If you choose not to, there you go. That's fine. But I think we could all do something better.

Even if you're wonderful in career, maybe we could have a better relationship. Maybe if we had a better relationship, we could maybe become a better mentor. If we were a better mentor, we could help people.

We could do things. The limit of your imagination of what your potential is, is for you to find. Not the limit that is, but what your potential and your direction is.

And how do you do that? You have to suspend those limiting beliefs. Park them. That's shit anyway.

They're not doing any good. Oh, I'm not good enough. I'll never be good enough.

Who bloody knows? Nobody. So, suspend those limiting beliefs. Park them.

You can bring them back later if they're going to serve you. Bloody not, are they? But anyway, then just give yourself permission to dream. That's all it is.

Dreaming. And because it's only dreaming, it's not an issue. You can't have an issue of, I'm not good enough, I'll never be good enough, because it's a bloody dream.

And if you're dreaming, it's possible. If you dream something that is possible, it makes it possible in your head. So give yourself permission to dream.

That's all we're doing. Dreaming at the moment. Not telling you to do anything, just dream.

And how do you do that? You unlock your imagination. Because again, it's just dreaming, using your imagination. And that's the answer.

This is the answer. This is how you find that key. Don't know what the lock is.

I do, but this is the key. So think, just for a moment. And these are some things I was thinking.

You know, how do we do this then? It's all very well for Cluffy to say, oh, just suspend those limiting beliefs, park them over there, and dream and use your imagination. We'll do it this way. Put 10 minutes aside.

10 minutes, Cluffy? I haven't got 10 minutes. You've got half an hour to doom scroll. You've got 10 minutes to stop doom scrolling and dream.

Because I guarantee you, once you start dreaming, you will start to see things, maybe online, maybe in books, maybe hear things from a podcast, maybe the personal development type. Unplugged, that is. Things will be attracted to you.

But when you dream for 10 minutes, I want you to give yourself total freedom to create. What does that mean? There's no critic. There is no criticism.

Oh, that can't be done. Oh, that's not an option. No criticism, no self critique.

Nobody else gets to see this, by the way. So you've got nothing to worry about. No imposter syndrome here, because it's a piece of paper and a pen and a pencil or whatever you want.

Write it down. You could do it on a computer. But that's pretty anal.

Use your hands and a pen. They'll flow. It'll flow.

And take 10 minutes to just dream. What could I do? What would I want to do? If I had no limits, what would I start doing now? If I could do it now, what would it be? What belief could I have that would support me on it? What would be the most supportive belief to allow me to do this? And it's just your imagination. It's just a dream.

So it could be anything. And things like I get to do this. I've got this.

I can learn. I don't know all of this, but I could learn. And then you go, well, I wonder what my potential is.

What direction would my potential take me? How do you use your life? How do you use your body, your mind, your words? I always like to leave a little bit for selfless service. How can I serve people with what I know? Because everybody wants to know what you know, if they don't know it. And write it down.

Don't just think. Just let that pen go. Don't let it stop writing, basically.

For 10 minutes, just let that pen just keep going and going and going. First few might be a bit random. I'm not sure about it.

Keep going. And all of a sudden things will start happening. And even as you get one, you might go, oh, well, what that allowed me to do? Or what would that bring? And just keep going.

You're not trying to find the how. You're not trying to find the why. You're not trying to find anything like that.

You're just imagining. You're dreaming. If I was living to my true potential, what form might that take? What direction might that take? You can also put, you know, what would that give me? What would that get me to do? What would be the next bit? What opportunities? What people would I see? And then when you've done that for 10 minutes, you can take a breath.